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From the age of 13-17 yo I went to a boarding school where I was bullied. Although there were many people that treated me like shit, there was this one guy who's worse than the others. From name calling to physical bullying, he did it all. I was horrified of him. Really horrified. It went to a point that I absolutely willing to do anything so just I won't have to stumble upon him.
At the age of 15 I was diagnosed with anxiety disorders and depression. Sure he wasn't the only cause of it but he sure did his fair share. I couldn't drop out of the school because I went there on scholarship. Dropping out would mean I have to pay it back. Could not really talk to any adults either because snitches get way more stitches. In the subsequent years, I learned to make myself small so that nobody would notice my presence. Things did not get better but it's bearable.
A few days before I officially finished my highschool and went my own ways, he came to me apologizing. I asked him why he treated me horribly for all those years. He told me that there was no reason for it. Apparently I might've rub him the wrong way somehow. He asked me to forgive him because once we out of school we probably will never met again.
I told him no.
A few days ago, his wife reached out to my friend asking for my number. She called me asking if I'm willing to talk to his husband. Apparently he's not in good condition health wise and is still bothered that I didn't accept his apology. I don't know the details but my friend told me he's dying.
My therapist told me that I need to let go of my past. My boyfriend told me to be the bigger person and I will be TA if I were to ignore him.
WIBTA if I still refuse to talk to him or accept his apology? ###### | NTA, you don’t have to forgive him just because he wants you to. You don’t owe him anything- he was TA from the beginning ###### |
I (18F) was talking with my sister (21F) about relationships, and she asked if I wanted to have kids one day. I said no, and gave a couple reasons as to why. Mostly because I don't want to put my body through the turmoil of being pregnant, and I also just don't really want to be a mom. I said I'd consider fostering or maybe adopting, but it's unlikely. I also said I don't want kids because I want to be someone's favourite person, and a child would end up being my partner's favourite.
My sister said that's a shitty reason to not want kids, and that I'm an asshole for even saying that. She said I'm selfish and manipulative, and should never get married if that's the mindset I have.
Growing up, I was always my parents' least favourite child, my siblings' least favourite sibling, and my friends' least favourite of the group. This is where I think my reasoning behind all of this stems from; feeling inadequate and unwanted by the people around me. My parents also got married, had 3 kids, and then ended up in a loveless marriage. I don't want that to be my future; my partner falling out of love with me and I have to live knowing I'm not special to anyone.
I understand I'm not obligated to have kids if I don't want them, but now I feel like she might be right. AITA? ###### | NTA, you don't need a reason to not want kids. it's your life, your choice. ###### |
I (22M) fought multiple times with my highschool friend (23F) because of her disapproval of ‘the homosexual lifestyle.’ I want this time to be the last, because after years of explaining, she still doesn't seem to want to understand. (We are from and live in North Africa.) She often tells me about the guys she likes, but when I do the same, she says she doesn't want to hear about it. This last time was triggered by an IG story where she says she does not support the LGBT community. I sent her a message saying that I, too, do not support some thoughts and practices (like genital mutilation, imposed religious conformity, and far-right political parties) because they put some people in danger. I contrasted with that what she says is used to put the lives of many people in danger, and often leads to fatalities. She answered saying that she doesn't accept my homosexuality and I don't accept her homophobia. Her reasoning looks flawed to me. Am I the asshole here ? ###### | NTA, you don't have to be accepting of her homophobia.. ###### |
My stepson is 11 and at his school they have these annual events (father-son camping, mother-daughter cooking etc). Late last year they held a mother and son race where the mother had to run across the field and piggy back their sons back to the other side and then tie our legs together and just sprint back across.
A week prior my stepson Dylan was talking about it and how he thought it was ridiculous and embarrassing. When I looked at their poster for it, it looked fun so I convinced him to sign up for it. Later that day I called his mother Julie but she didn't pick up so I left a voicemail talking about the event and asking her to get back to us if she is available. Five days past and still no word from her. Being honest when she didn't respond, I saw it as an opportunity for Dylan and I to bond but since I respect Julie as his mother I sent her an email (doesn't use social media) with the poster and talking about how Dylan has signed up for it. Two days passed and still nothing. So I went to Dylan and told him that his mother hadn't gotten back to me but if he was okay with it, I was willing to step in since it was too late to pull out. He was a bit disappointed but still fine.
The day came and it was a blast. Tiresome but definitely worth it. It was just so much fun and I made a few friends there who were also stepmothers. And obviously we won 1st place and got two medals. Dylan also enjoyed it and feels way more comfortable with me now.
While I was browsing the school's website last week, I saw a picture from that day with me running and Dylan cheering on my back. It was a cute picture so I downloaded it and made it my profile picture. Turns out one of Julie's friends showed her the picture and now she's going on a rant about how I shouldn't have done that and how I've overstepped my mark as his step mother. When I told her I called her and sent an email she went on saying that I should've sent her a text or called her again instead of just once. AITA? ###### | NTA, you didn't overstep as a stepmother. You made your stepson happy, and that's what matters here - not to mention you tried to contact his mother! What does she expect, that you'll never do anything with him because she might feel jealous? ###### |
This is regarding a party several months back, a family party.
Growing up, I (22M) always had a rather boisterous crush on one of my sister's (31F) friend (31F). This was from about age 13 to 16. So she was around 21 when I crushed on her.
Let's call her Lydia. Lydia wasn't uncomfortable or anything by it she always just laughed it off. Most of my friends had a crush on her she was really hot.
I guess around age 18 or so I grew into my looks, and I was considered good looking.
So I hadn't seen Lydia since I was 17 because she moved away until recently at a family party (around early Feb).
She couldn't recognize me but once I told her who I was she was shocked. She got very friendly very quickly and was clearly tipsy. She got a bit touchy feely. She then got a bit flirty and remarked how handsome I was while feeling me up.
Honestly, while younger me would have fantasised about that, I do have to say that I wasn't into it. She still looks good, but nowhere near as good as she did 10 years ago. So unfortunately I wasn't into it. And I excused myself.
Later she came outside and asked me why I wasn't into it I said she was a bit too old for me and then she got angry and called me AH. Honestly my sister is still pissed about how I said that. AITA? ###### | NTA, you could have gone for a softer delivery.
But really they have no leg to stand on being mad at you for not sleeping with her.
Gotta say tho that gave me a laugh ###### |
So this happened a few years ago but I always wonder if I was in the wrong. My brother (21M) and his girlfriend (20F) has been dating less than a year when my fiancé and I started writing our guest list for our wedding. We decided to invite my brother’s girlfriend even though they had only been together for a short time. GF found out I had invited a friend which happened to be a former classmate of hers (this girl was also a fiancée of one my partner’s friends and had been together for 2 years) and asked me to uninvite this girl because this girl was her sworn enemy and apparently she had once been with my brother. I told her that whatever was going on between GF and this girl wasn’t my business and I didn’t want to make things awkward and uninvite her when I didn’t have a problem with her. GF then started accusing me of choosing this girl over her and disrespecting her and although initially my brother didn’t care, he also eventually agreed with his GF and neither of them showed up to my wedding. I was devastated and conflicted on whether I should have just uninvited my friend to keep peace between me, my brother and his GF or whether that would have just been the start of GF making demands and getting her way. ###### | NTA, you could easily separate them for the wedding in seating arrangements. If she had behaved like that at my wedding I would have uninvited your brother's gf for being so demanding and you barely know her anyway. ###### |
We (30/27) have been together for four years. We've both been laid off due to Corona and have been home for a few months now. The thing is that he's become veeeery lazy during it.
I'm constantly cooking, doing housework, try to go for walks with him or doing ANYTHING, but all he wants is sit on the couch, play PS4, watch TV, listen to music, and drink beer. I'm terribly bored and start to feel like his mum.
Anyway, I went running today and when I came back, I was knackered. I hadn't eaten yet, so when he went to the kitchen to make food for the first time in days, I happily went for a relaxed shower and then waited on the couch for the nicely smelling meal.
Finally, he came out of the kitchen with one bowl. I asked if I was going to have some, too. He just looked at me baffled and said "I thought you didn't want any". I thought he was joking, but he continued to eat his massive bowl right in front of me, knowing I was starving.
I asked if he could make me something, too, which was declined. He wanted to play PS4 now, I would have to wait, he said.
We continued to have an argument which ended in both of us ignoring each other.
Am I the asshole here? I can make my own food, but I thought it was inconsiderate of him to not think of me or even ask (as I always cook for him), especially after I worked out and was obviously hungry. And then get so worked up about me asking for some food. This might be me being hangry, so I'd love some perspective.
Thank you! ###### | NTA, you cook and do the housework and what does he do? oh thats right plays the PS4 just because someone is doing work doesnt mean he can help, if you ask for him to make YOU some food he should do it, though you deserve much more in life and he said no, hes your husband for christs sake he should love amd respect you not treat you like a peasant and servant, i dont have much but i hope a small award cheers you up a little, have a great day.
from, -the short- ###### |
I’ve been with my boyfriend “Dylan” for 2 years, I have a 3year old son and a 5 year old daughter and Dylan has a 9 year old daughter.
A year ago he spoke about getting his daughter a dog for her birthday, I told him I was heavily allergic, it makes my asthma act up along with getting hives etc
We’ve been talking about moving in with each other, we were moving it up since 12 weeks ago I found out I was pregnant.
I’m staying with my mother though while this all goes down.
10 weeks ago for his daughters 9th birthday he got her a Staffordshire bull terrier dog, without speaking to me.
He bought up moving in together when possible and I told him it wouldn’t be happening with the dog there, I don’t expect him to rehome the dog but I’m not sure what else we can do.
I said we can maybe try living together once I give birth, check with the doctor what I can do about the allergies - but I’m not putting myself through the stress during pregnancy.
He’s upset with me for guilt tripping him for getting a birthday present for his daughter, that we’re family now and I can’t make this decision by myself, he should be able to be there for the pregnancy.
AITA? ###### | NTA, you can't make a decision yourself but he can? Fuck the dude ###### |
I’m 17M and my step sister , Amber is 18F.
My mother has been with my stepdad for 9 years.
I usually spend two weeks of the month with my dad and Amanda usually spends every weekend with my stepdad.
I’ve never gotten along with Amber, we’re extremely different people, we usually avoid each other, when Amber wasn’t out she was in her bedroom moody, she’d throw it in my mothers face that she isn’t her mother and then cry like she was the victim.
Amber is pregnant and her mother doesn’t want her living with her anymore so Amber reached out to my mother and asked to live with us.
I can’t tolerate being around her let alone with a crying baby so I told my mother I’d be staying with my dad and visit the weekends if Amber moves in.
My mother is extremely upset and my stepdad is accusing me of being immature and making her pick between Amber and me, he told me I’m being irrational and spoilt.
WIBTA? ###### | NTA, you can't control her attitudes but you can control yours, I would recommend reassure your mother that you still love her even if you are away. ###### |
I occasionally buy an ice cream that's about double the cost of regular ice cream. It has more rich, creamy texture and is by far my favorite. My wife has some significantly younger siblings and cousins who are at our house fairly often (6-7 year olds). I don't want them to eat the expensive stuff because they would be just as happy with a cheap or store brand version of the same flavor. My wife gets irritated by it occasionally, but I dont think the kids can tell the difference.
AITA? ###### | NTA, you bought with your money. It’s your choice whether or not you want to share your expensive ice-cream with them. As it is it’s already good enough that you’re buying them ice-cream but just don’t let them find out about the expensive ice-cream if not they might throw a fit haha. ###### |
Extended family is split on this. We’re the only family members with a pool (medium sized in ground). It was very hot in our region last week, and one of my cousins called to ask if she and her kids could come to swim. I said I was really sorry, but because my elderly mother-in-law lives with us, and my husband is at high risk for getting seriously sick (post kidney transplant), we had to limit our exposure, and no one outside of the household was going to be able to use the pool. Well, I got a couple of messages from family, like, “Are you serious? You’re not going to let a couple of little kids swim?” So, AITA? ###### | NTA, you aren’t actually denying them use of the pool. You are observing the recommended precautions for people with the risk factors you mentioned in these times. That that happens to encompass the pool use is incidental. I guess it’s nice to know your family is more concerned with being able to have fun in your pool than helping keep you and your household safe. ###### |
I am 27F and the only child of my mother. My parents split when I was 16y. Up until this point, I assumed that I had truthful parents.
When I was 15y, I received a message on a social media platform from someone who claimed to be my half-sister (Anna). I confronted my mother who had no idea who she was. We confronted my father and then shit properly hit the fan.
I then discovered that my father has two children 7-10 years older than me (Bob and Carol) from his first marriage who my mother knew all about. Anna’s existence was a shock to my mother as she was the result of a secret affair (she was born about 5 years before me). This prompted my parents splitting up.
So all my life, my father had been splitting his life between three homes and lying to my mother and I about his whereabouts.
When I was 15 and Anna contacted me for the first time, she was telling me that she wants to get to know me, that she has children and I’m her sister etc. It was all a big shock to me. Since then, Anna has contacted me a few more times. I would get a call from my dad and it would actually be Anna on the phone. Bob and Carol haven’t contacted me directly but have requested to through my father. My father regularly blackmails me into meeting them all as he’s going to die “one day soon” and I should know them. He has given Anna my number against my consent. He has attempted to set up meetings without my knowledge, lying and saying that I’m only meeting an aunt yet somehow I come to find out I’m meeting Anna.
I do feel bad but I honestly just feel like I have zero connection to or desire to get to know these people. We have the same father but I just don’t see them as my siblings. I don’t need any brothers or sisters and it’s not my fault if I don’t want to play happy families. I am the youngest of them all, so I hope I’m not being immature but AITA? ###### | NTA, you are more than old enough to decide who you want in your life. Your dad is definitely an asshole, and if your siblings don’t respect your wishes they are too. Set hard boundaries and don’t let anyone trample them, your dad especially. You deserve to have a life with people who respect you. ###### |
My mom was born in Iran. My grandmother is Iranian. My grandfather is white and American. He was in the army and stationed in Iran. He let my grandmother, they fell in love, had my mom, lived in Iran for about five years then moved back to the States.
My mom was raised in a very...interesting household to say the least. She was raised in a very typical Middle Eastern way, my grandmother was (and still is) very strict with her. Therefore, when my mom had me she wanted to raise me differently than she had been.
We barely went to see my grandparents and my mom claims no connection to that part of her heritage. As a result, I haven't had any connection either.
Over the past year or so I've been wanting to Chanel that though. I've been cooking traditional Iranian foods, have been teaching myself Farsi, and just been learning about the culture in general. (I am not Muslim or even religious at all if that's something important to include).
Full discretion I do not look Middle Eastern. When most people try to guess where I'm from they usually think I'm mixed Mexican.
I was telling my friend, who is fully Middle Eastern, how I've been coming along learning Farsi, and she got very annoyed with me. She told me how tired of "white people trying to steal the parts of culture that they like" and how disrespectful it was, especially because I didn't grow up in a traditional brown household.
I let it drop and apologized, because the thought of culturally appropriating is terrible to me and if that's what I'm doing then I'll stop immedietely. However, part of me thinks that I do have a claim to it... AITA? ###### | NTA, you are iranian by origin, so it's absolutely not CA for you to learn your own culture. your friend is being narrow-minded by assuming that there is only one way to grow up 'brown', in her own words, when the truth is that iranians across the world all have different levels of engagement with their own and other cultures. ###### |
I’ve (27F) been with my husband (39M) for 3 years, married for 2.
My stepdaughter is 16, 17 next month.
I’m surprised she hasn’t been given the birds and the bee talk sooner.
When I grew up my parents acted as though sex was something to be ashamed of, I do not share this view.
When my stepdaughter came to me to ask for advice or what ever, I was obviously happy she felt she could come to me for advice.
I gave her the typical advice
*birth control is a must
*make sure he wears protection
*if you feel pressured, text an adult or whoever you feel comfortable with.
*consent is key for both parties
And lastly; sex is not something to be ashamed of, don’t be afraid to talk about it if there’s anything you’re uncomfortable with.
She went home and I have been getting texts from her mother about how I “overstepped” and I should’ve sent my daughter to ask her, she seemed genuinely upset.
AITA? ###### | NTA, you are a staple part of the girls life. She came to you because she felt comfortable. If she’d felt comfortable she would have asked her Mom. ###### |
Okay, so like many of you, I have been laid off work due to the current situation in the world. I run a very small online business, mostly as a hobby, but it is now my only source of income. Today I woke up and could not connect to the internet. I didn’t think much of it, as it cuts out for a few minutes from time o time. But after a few hours, I got sick of waiting, and walked up the road to connect to an unlocked wifi. It was at that point I received a message from my landlord (sent as a mass text to the 12 units in my building) saying “sorry, due to budget restraints, there will be no internet this month”.
I got very annoyed at this and messaged back “okay, in that’s case there will be no rent this month”. I live in one of the most expensive cities in North America, I pay over $1500 for a small apartment (less than 300 square feet) that is supposed to include internet. I now have no income whatsoever, as I can’t be walking up the road to use janky wifi several times a day.
My landlord has replied and told me that if I don’t like it, I can move out, and he will consider my damage deposit as this months rent. I am livid. I vented to a friend about it, and he told me that I need to stop whining and that it’s just wifi, I can survive without it. But I literally have no way to make money now, not to mention my only form of entertainment (Netflix and YouTube) are all based on the internet. So, am I the asshole in all of this? ###### | NTA, you and the landlord had a contract and internet was included. How can he expect his tenants to pay full price if they are not receiving full service? Internet will cost at most a few hundred bucks a month, compared to the rent, it’s nothing. He’s trying to cut his costs so he can still make money, meanwhile he’s denying you your ability to make money ###### |
My husband surprised me with a Switch Lite and Animal Crossing. My 11 year old wants to play it also. So I told him I will share it. The first time I played it he hovered over me repeating could he play it. My husband told me to just let him play.
So I did. He has been playing it for the last three days. I asked for it and he said he is busy trying to earn bells. My husband told me to let him play it because he is deep in the game and act like an adult. So I asked my husband to buy him his own game. He said one is enough. He said I can play when he is done and stop being sad over a kids game. Am I the asshole for being sad and mad about not play a silly game ###### | NTA, you also definitely have the right to limit your 11 y/o's screen time and not have him argue with you about it. ###### |
So 10 months ago my fiancé and I bought a home which was in good repair but for a few renovations and personal touches. I had a townhouse that needed to be sold in order for us to make up the asking price along with a partial home loan but we were going to lose out on the house as the townhouse hadn't sold. My parents stepped in and helped us with the short fall with the understanding they would be reimbursed when the other property sold. The new place is large with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, lounge and diner. My fiancé and I both work full time but have repainted the whole inside of the house, refloored the last bedroom(the other two were done by a contractor to expedite the process, we moved in two weeks after the sale was finalized) started renovating the kitchen, added a vegetable garden and some flower beds, overhauled the security system installing cameras , exterior beams and lighting and recently put up a small greenhouse.
My parents feel that we are not doing the renovations fast enough and that they are entitled to criticize what we have done because they helped us out. They've been reimbursed for the money they helped us out with but will have a problem with the curtain rails we put up or the placement of items. We are concentrating on the inside of the house they want the window frames and gutters outside to be done. I like having my crafting projects around me, they want them packed away and they feel my fiancé games too much.
With the advent of the pandemic we are now both working from home and my parents seem to think that means we should be getting more done with the yard work and renovations because we are at home.
Am I the asshole for wanting to do things my way in my home? ###### | NTA, you already paid them back, so they have no right to choose how you have to decorate your own home ###### |
So I own a large U shaped house that was renovated to be 3 apartments. I live in one and rent out the other two. A family with three kids lives in the larger apartment and a single guy (steve) lives in the studio apartment.
Steve moved in a couple years ago and asked to have a cat. We agreed to raised the rent by $25, he had two weeks from getting the cat to show proof that it was vaccinated and neutered, and it had to be a fully indoor cat. All terms were met.
I gave the same offer to the family five years ago but they didn't want the rent increase. Instead tried to sneak in a stray and keep it indoor/outdoor so I told them they had two weeks meet the terms. They get rid of the cat and didn't ask again until this week.
This week the mother asked to get a dog and I told her that she couldn't. She got angry and said was being discriminated against because she has kids. I told she couldn't because she broke the terms before and I only allowed indoor cats not dogs. Then her husband said that Steve shouldn't be allowed to have a cat either then but he met the terms and pays the increase. Then called me an asshole all over social media for being bias against children.
A lot people are saying I'm an asshole for allowing one renter a pet but not the other. I've replyed to the post explaining the terms and violations but everyone keeps saying that it wasn't fair to the family and I'm an asshole. AITA? ###### | NTA, you already gave them chances to have a pet and they abused their privileges. You don’t have to explain your reasoning to anyone. Plus, the way they’re acting shows that adding a pet is only going to cause more problems in the future. ###### |
I (15F) lost my grandma to coronavirus in the early hours of this morning. We were super close as for 2 years she was bearly able to walk to I came every day after school to cook and clean with my mum going on weekends when she didnt work.
My mum was in pieces with my dad trying to make her feel better in any way possible and I had decided not to make it any harder on him because he NEVER cries but did today. I messaged my boyfriend that im gonna call "B". Because B usually makes me feel better about everything that's happened. Well B talked to me for 15 minutes before saying he had to go for 10 minutes. well 5 hours later B came back.
When I asked B how he was (I didnt care he was gone for so long) then B had a massive rant at me explaining how he was going through a lot more than me right now and that I should just get over that she dies because old people die every day so its no big deal. I couldn't help but cry. Then B said "my grandad has cancer for the second time that's a lot worse than your grandma dieing"
My usual calmness was IMMEDIATELY yeeted out the window at this point. I blew up at B saying things like "at least he isn't f\*\*\*ing dead in a hospital" and "why cant you look on the bright side even though he has cancer at least he isn't dead" and to top it off "id rather my grandma have cancer than be dead right now" I feel like a piece of shit for saying those things.
AMTA? ###### | NTA, yeet your boyfriend into the ex boyfriend zone ###### |
Throwaway I don't want to post on my main account because my girlfriend follows it
My girlfriend is an artist as her hobby she is pretty good. Last year I started drawing as way to cope with a passing of my father. I ended up being decent after a while and I thought I should start improving my art skills and being professional about it. I ended up drawing "famous" manga characters in the sketch book and real life items.
I showed some of the mutual friends between me and my girlfriend and they liked mine a lot. Recently our mutual friends have stopped liking my girlfriends artwork and started liking mine more. I never brag about it to my girlfriend. yesterday a mutual friend was visiting out apartment and told me that my artwork is better than my girlfriends. My girlfriend heard that and became really mad at me and said that I stole the one thing she was better at than me.
So last night my girlfriend told me she got rid of the sketch book because i was spending to much time on it. This sketch book I had since my fathers passing and had my first artwork. She told me that I was not taking care of the dog which is the reason she threw away the art book. I spend at least 2 hours with the dog after work. I explained to her I was upset with what she did with my sketch book.
My girlfriend then told me that she threw it away because I stole her hobby from her. She said it was never really my hobby and it was only her hobby. She said I should not feel bad about throwing the notebook and I should be grateful for her actions. So now I am wondering if I was the asshole for stealing girlfriends hobby and then for being upset she threw out my sketch book. ###### | NTA, wth how old are you guys, is your girlfriend 15? Nobody “owns” a hobby, she’s being jealous and taking it out by ruining your possessions which is not okay at all
Your friend is also kind of an asshole for saying your art is better than hers. And why do they have to only like your art and not hers if they liked hers before, it’s not like there’s a finite number of “likes” for art. ###### |
So I (25m) and my fiance (29f) are renting the house we live in from my mom (51f) with no written rental agreement. My mom wants us to assume the mortgage from her and we live here for the next 17 years until the mortgage is paid off.
The problem is that fiance and I both have to travel an hour or more to work and mom is using the house as her personal storage unit. Also the house needs a lot of work done to it because whoever added the additions to the house did a terrible job. We don't want to live in the house because we don't have room for our stuff and it is causing our relationship to have unnecessary arguments.
We want to live closer to work especially since I have to be to work at 5am. Whenever we say anything to mom about moving she replies "you won't ever find a better deal than what I'm offering, assuming the mortgage is your best option to own your own house." The last time I mentioned moving she said "how can I afford my camper if you move?"
So reddit WIBTA if fiance and I move? ###### | NTA, why would you buy a place you don't want to live in for one year, let alone 17? ###### |
I am a 24 year old woman and I was watching my 2 year old nephew for me 30 year old sister. This took place before coronavirus.
I was watching my nephew for my sister while she ran some errands, for about 3 hours. I played with him, fed him, and changed his diaper when he started to get a bit sleepy, so I put on one of those kid shows (Choo Choo Thomas? The one with the talking trains), picked him up and laid on the couch. He was on top of me with his head resting on my chest, and we both fell asleep like that.
About 30 minutes later I hear my sister screeching at me in the most demonic tone, saying that it was inappropriate that his head was on my chest, called me a slut and said that I forced him to do that, and said that I would never be alone with him again because I was obviously a predator. I was really shocked. She came and ripped my nephew off of me (at this point he was doing that monkey cling thing with his arms and legs wrapped around me) and my husband kicked her out and assured me that I had done nothing wrong.
My family is on my side saying that she overreacted, but she posted some snarky things on Facebook that were quite obviously aimed at me, so I decided to ask this question.
For reference I am a busty woman and I was wearing a camisole type top ###### | NTA, why is she sexualizing a child l ###### |
I'm from the rural midwest and my girlfriend is from a highly popuated area in Australia. Growing up I always drank milk with nearly every meal and I never viewed it as strange until I met my girlfriend. She pointed out that drinking milk with certain meals (pizza, spaghetti, etc) is really gross to her and that I was gross for doing it. She argues that when we eat together that I should refrain from doing it and drink something else instead because she is disgusted by it. AITA for drinking milk with meals that I eat with her? ###### | NTA, why does she think it's ok to police what you eat or drink? She needs to get over it, there's nothing wrong with drinking milk. Ask her why she thinks it's so gross and why it disgusts her. That's a her problem, not a you problem. ###### |
The title probably makes me sound bad, but in my defense I have a sleep disorder that makes it hard for me to fall asleep at night and makes me excessively drowsy in the morning (my natural sleep cycle would be something like 5 AM-1 PM). This means when I am actually able to fall asleep early, I get easily frustrated when woken up.
So here's what happened last night: my girlfriend woke me up at 4 AM to ask me if I had taken out the junk (they pick up on Friday morning here). I told her yes, and she then asked if I had wheeled the cart out, and I said yes again. Then she asked if I had closed the lid on the cart, because she had left it open and they might not take it if it's open and I said yes again. This entire time I was a little cranky since it was 4 AM and I just wanted to go back to sleep but I was keeping my cool and saying yes in a mostly neutral tone. Up until her next question, which was, "Are you sure?"
I admit that at this point I lost my cool. It's 4 AM, I am tired, and it's hard for me to sleep at normal times so I want to take advantage of the opportunity when I can to try to maintain a sleep schedule that aligns with more normal hours. So I angrily shouted, "YES!" back to her at this point. When that happened, she got very upset, told me I was mean and that I hated her, and began to cry. I felt bad at this point, so I spent nearly the next hour trying to console her in the hope that we could just go back to sleep. Eventually she did, but it took me yet another hour to fall asleep, at around 6 AM. Then neighbors started doing yard work at about 9 AM this morning, so all total I got maybe 5 hours of sleep (when I usually need 9 or 10 to function thanks to my sleep disorder).
She's still mad at me for yelling at her, but I'm also still mad at her for waking me up to interrogate me over the damn garbage at 4 AM so I want to know who reddit sides with on this one. ###### | NTA, who worries about the trash at 4am?! If it was that important, her ass could go look. ###### |
My roommate approached me today and said that her friend (who i've never met or heard of) had to move out of the dorms in a week and since he lived in Germany he could not go home for the summer.
Essentially she had told him he could stay at our apartment (2 bed 1 bath) for a month and was wondering if it was okay with me. I told her it made me uncomfortable to live and share a bathroom with a stranger and that I wasn't okay with him living at our apartment.
I feel bad since he does not have any other options and my roommate was trying to sort something out for him but I have social anxiety and would not be able to easily do daily necessities with him there and it would be a violation of our lease agreement. She is moving out in June while I'm renewing the lease so I am at risk if we get caught and she doesn't know about my social anxiety.
Am I the asshole for not letting him stay? ###### | NTA, who the hell wants the hassle of some random person they don’t know moving in with them? Especially at a time like this. Have you had any grief from your friend after saying no?
Don’t feel bad, home is the one place we should feel comfortable. It sucks that he has nowhere to go at the moment but that’s not your responsibility. ###### |
Where I live both dog and regular parks are open. There are many parks in the area but only a few of them are off leash dog parks.
I brought my dog to the park to play fetch as we usually do. It's a rather large park and pretty easy to avoid people. I noticed there was a couple having a picnic so I entered on the opposite side so my dog wouldn't bother them.
Like 30 minutes into our session another dog showed up that wasn't as well trained. They said hi to my pup then realised there was a selection of meat, cheese and crackers sitting on the ground. He ran over and started trying to steal the food.
My dog remained by my side until a third dog showed up. This happened to be one of my dogs favorite friends. The third dog entered right where the picnic was happening. With two dogs now interrupting the couple's picnic, mine gave up and ran over too. It all happened really quickly and I didn't have time to react immediately.
Still, I ran over and leashed her pretty quickly but the couple was understandably upset. They complained we ruined their romantic date. I apologized profusely and removed my dog from the situation.
I understand I should always have control of my dog, especially in an off leash situation, but who has a picnic in a dog park? There were many other parks nearby that don't allow off leash dogs. It just seems like such a dumb thing to do. Salami and those type of meats have a pretty strong smell for dogs. However, I did technically lose control of my dog. AITA? ###### | NTA, who the hell has a picnic at an off-leash dog park??? That's ridiculous. ###### |
My daughter is 3. My next door neighbor has a 3 year old son. My neighbor is an essential worker so I watch her son during the day. He and my daughter are very good friends and tell me often that they are married. It’s obviously innocent and cute.
Since I’m still working, I’ve been letting them watch a lot of tv so I can get my work done. They like to cuddle up together under a blanket while they watch. Sometimes they even fall asleep (which is a total bonus for me.)
They were knocked out under the blanket together one afternoon and I didn’t want to wake them up by moving them. My daughters father FaceTimed me and asked to see her. I told him she wasn’t sleeping but I turned the camera around and showed her napping with her friend. Her father hung up and later called me and yelled at me for allowing her to cuddle with a boy. He said it was inappropriate and that I was encouraging an unhealthy relationship. I told him he was being creepy and they’re 3. He got very angry and is telling people that I am wrongly calling him names. Am I the asshole for calling him a creep? ###### | NTA, who projects all that garbage on 3 year olds? What a creepy thing to imply about the habits of 3 year olds. ###### |
Pretty simple story.
My sister(23F) recently took my Tesla our for a joyride. I’m pissed for several reasons. She went into my room, and she stole the key. She also took my Tesla for a joyride without my permission. Nothing bad happened to it, but she always does shit like this. She’s absolutely spoiled and has no boundaries.
I was in the process of buying my parent’s house when I had the idea to kick her out since the house was mine. So, I just left her an eviction notice, and after I legally could, I changed the locks.
A couple of our mutual friends think I’m extremely in the wrong, probably because she lives with some of them now. Lol.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA, who knows what else she's stolen when you weren't around. Plus if she crashed it or anything it would've been a way bigger deal. ###### |
So, my (30M) sister (19F) has always been the golden child in my dads eyes, my parents adopted me thinking that they wouldn't have biological parents, they split when I was 10 and my father went on to have my sister.
I'll give her this, she was very intelligent basically straight As based on my dads bragging.
Well, my dad expected her to be a doctor or something like that- very high expectations, my dad for the past year has been paying her rent while she goes college, even though she works.
I called my dad yesterday when he let me know how disappointed he was in my sister...turns out she's pregnant and has no immediate plans on continuing with her education! Cherry on top? The father of the baby is only three years younger than me.
I'm not happy about my sisters situation, I do not approve of her relationship.
Well, I laughed when I found out, because the pressure my father has put on her for the past 19 years (cheerleading, track, countless diets to keep her skinny, making her give up her dream of being a vet) finally made her crack and I find it hilarious that he doesnt see **he did it to her** and he thinks he has the right to say he's disappointed?
My father, however, took this as me laughing at my sister but when I explained no- I'm laughing at him, it made things so much worse.
My stepmother has been texting me non stop about how I hurt my father, how he just wanted to vent and as family I should support and respect him and even if I didn't it was just a genuinely dickish move to laugh.
AITA?
**ThrowRa since I use my normal account frequently** ###### | NTA, while you might have been normally, it sounds like he was controlling to extremes of your sister. He deserves the ridicule. ###### |
Ex and I have three sons 6, 9 and 13. I have two pets - a pug named Thor and a Maine Coon cat named Max. When my kids are with me 1/2 the week, Thor and Max insist on sleeping with them. My kids don't mind and both enjoy snuggling. My ex-wife asked me to stop letting letting Thor and Max sleep with them because her boyfriend is very allergic to dogs and cats. I told her I couldn't care less so she is now saying that she too is allergic to cats and asks why I can't keep them in a separate room or outside. I absolutely refuse. It's not personal. ###### | NTA, whether they are in the bed with the pets or not is irrelevant to the allergy as the pets are already in the house and around the kids even when not sleeping.
She can wash and put them on some fresh clothes when they get back to hers. ###### |
Right now my fiance and I are living with my best friend from high school and her husband. They and my fiance have some life differences (no details but nothing major, mainly they're all bullheaded and won't listen to each other). My fiance wants to move out and get on our own. I'm all for it until he said the place he wants to move to won't allow pets and we have a 55 pound border collie mix we picked up as a stray. I refuse to move anywhere without her. She is my kid. I can't abandon her. She has no say in this at all. Everyone I've talked to is 50/50 on this.
We are under no pressure but my fiance own want to get our own place quickly. He's lived on his own before and I have not. I just can't intentionally move someplace and give up my dog if there are other options. ###### | NTA, when you bring an animal into your life you are committed to take care of it for its life ###### |
I have never wanted kids. I have made this clear to every person I have dated. When I married my now ex, she knew this. She was okay with it, or so I thought. 3 years in, she mentioned adoption and I shut it down, reminding her I never wanted kids and that children deserve a parent who wants them. She stayed with me for another 3 years and eventually filed for divorce 2 years ago. I wasn’t surprised because outside the kid thing, we had other issues.
We got married in our 40s, so by the time we divorced we were in our 50s. I moved out and didn’t see her for awhile after the final meeting. Then one night recently I decided to take advantage of my favorite restaurant having outdoor dining again. As I was eating, my ex approached me. We made small talk and eventually she said she was angry with me. This took me off guard. She told me that I “stole the best years of her life” and “because of you, I’ll never have kids”.
I laughed in her face. I said she knew going in I didn’t want kids and why should I bend on that? I said if she feels guilty for not having a baby, it’s on her not me. She got even more upset and left.
My brother thinks I could’ve handled it better and not laughed at her. I think she was being ridiculous but am willing to admit I might’ve been an asshole. So, was I? ###### | NTA, what was she expecting, an apology for her decision to marry someone who was childfree? Yeah not the asshole at all, should’ve laughed harder. ###### |
So last weekend, a few mates and I got together and had drinks/dinner while watching bad movies. The apartment belonged to Sophia. At some point, she asked if I could get something out of her walk-in pantry while she cooked. Her and another of my friends locked me in. I have claustrophia as a result of trauma I experienced as a child (I don't feel comfortable sharing online). They are aware of it. So I panicked and begged them to let me out. After 2-3 minutes of them laughing, I couldn't take it anymore so I kicked the door which broke the hinges and caused it to fall off. It was only small and made of seemingly flimsy wood. I ended up having a screaming match with the two that locked me in while a third friend arrived. Said third friend agreed that what they did was terrible but the other two said I overreacted and should pay for the door. I disagreed so my friend and I left. Sophia has contacted me asking for money but I'm steadfast in believing I shouldn't pay for anything. I also think I'm owed an apology. AITA? ###### | NTA, what they did was cruel and then when you reacted accordingly they were even worse when they demanded you pay for the door. Don't pay for it, you don't owe them anything. ###### |
Okay, so some backstory. My parents are pretty well off, and with everything happening have been pretty lucky to have kept their work and consistent pay checks. I (21F) am married, moved out, finished college this semester, and completely financially independent from my parents, although my husband and I still go to their house for dinner about once a week. I have 2 brothers, one older and one younger, and i’m close in age to both of them. Neither are financially independent. My younger brother (20) still lives at home and my older brother (23) still has about a year left in college and my parents pay for his rent and food. They paid for my rent and food until I got married. They paid my tuition all 4 years, and they’ll pay my brothers tuition until he graduates. (we go to a school where tuition is 5-6k/year)
While at their house for dinner, I mentioned that my husband and I got our stimulus checks, and my dad said that we should give him $200 since he would have gotten $500 per kid (or $1500 plus $2400 for he and my mom), to make it “fair”
My husband and I could really use the money, and feel like since i’m not financially dependent on my parents that we shouldn’t have to pay them anything. WIBTA if I told him I won’t pay him?
info: I don’t mean this to sound like I don’t appreciate everything they’ve done for me, because I do and I have told them that. I couldn’t work through college because I had a full course load and my program required 20ish hours/week of unpaid work as a graduation requirement. However, my parents offered to support me through college from the start. ###### | NTA, what the hell? Your dad is being the asshole for even asking. ###### |
I’m gonna be the first person to say that this is beyond pathetic
I’ve recently moved in with my boyfriend and we got a puppy (great dane) who we named Ralph. We’ve wanted a dog forever and had picked a few names a while ago but I knew ultimately that I would want Ralph
My brother and his wife had asked us what we were gonna call him and I mentioned a couple of picks (including Ralph) and they both said that they were cute choices
We got Ralph two weeks ago and officially announced on Facebook that he’d “joined our family” and that his name was indeed Ralph. My SIL text me the next day saying she couldn’t believe I stole the name that she wanted for her dog. I actually laughed out loud and in response because I thought she was joking around. She followed it up with how “stupid” it would be to have two dogs in the family that are called the same name. I didn’t reply and she hasn’t spoken to me since haha
When my brother came round to see my puppy, he said that she didn’t want to come because she was ‘furious’ with me but he told her it was stupid and that they weren’t even getting a dog, let alone even discussed wanting one! She was also mad with him for coming round because he “was taking my side”
AITA for calling my puppy Ralph which apparently my SIL wanted for her dog? ###### | NTA, what Is she, 12? Lol ###### |
Reposted to be in compliance with sub rules.
I'm a single father with a 4 year old daughter. Currently, I live with my younger brother and his family, taking care of their son while they work. I no longer work cause I'm a disabled veteran so that's why I watch my nephew.
So moving on, today I had an argument with my brother because he or his wife left out a Sharpie that my daughter then proceeded to find and use to draw on the countertops and an empty cereal bin. When I discovered it, I scolded my daughter for doing it and sent her to her room. Later on, my brother and his wife came out of their bedroom (he was doing school work and she was helping him while I watched both kids) and asks me how I punished my daughter for what she did. I told him I scolded her and sent her to her room. I went to look for some alcohol to clean the mess up now that the kids had supervision. When I returned, my brother had cleaned up the mess with a magic eraser and then started in on me, thinking that I should have been more severe in my punishment. I countered that she received a punishment that I deemed appropriate and that he should assume some responsibility for it happening as it wouldn't have happened if he had put away the marker when he was done with it. To me, it's one thing if she had grabbed a chair to climb on and then done what she did but it's another for someone to leave something for her to reach. He followed by saying that she's drawn on other things before and that scolding is apparently not working to which I replied that she's 4 years old and toddlers are not known for their superior impulse control. He proceed to start questioning my fathering and I walked away from the argument for fear that I would lose my rapidly dwindling cool. I understand that it is his home and I'd be frustrated too if the roles were reversed but I don't think I'm in the wrong here regarding how I handled it. That's why I've come to this impartial forum. AITA? ###### | NTA, what does he want you to beat your 4 year old? ###### |
I have a very decent name. I mean, I don't hate it and I don't love it. Long story short, my father had a name picked out when I was born and up until birth, my name was going to be name A. Then, out came me and my mother freaked out, said she hated my name that they had agreed on for the past 7 months and said she was going to divorce my father if she every heard that name again. I ended up with name B, which has no relationship to name A at all.
Now I have name B. Not a problem, but the thing of it is they haven't been able for the last 20+ years to agree on how to pronounce the damn thing. Think of it like LA Ah for Leah for one, and Leah for another. Or EE-Liz-abeth or Elizabeth. Two different, but very distinct sounding names, but it's the same name. I switch between the two, and prefer one over the other.
My mother was bitching about my dad (they're divorced) over a mutual dilemma they had over my younger brother, and I finally said "I shouldn't be surprised you all can't decide, it's been 20 years and you still can't decide on a name"
Look, my name had been a constant power struggle for both of them. I'm sick and tired of it. So AITA for bringing this up? It's a sore spot for both of them. ###### | NTA, what a wild hill for parents to die on ###### |
I'll start with a bit of background. I have been friends with my friend and her ex since high school. They were together for around 10 years and split around 12 months ago. Friend has started seeing someone else. Ex has started seeing someone within our circle recently. I am friends with both of them equally.
I am trying my best to remain impartial, so when they each moved on I did not mention it to the other out of respect - I figured this was a conversation best left to the two of them. About a week ago I got a message from my friend crucifying me for not telling her her ex had moved on. I only knew her ex was 'talking' to his new SO, not that there was anything 'official' happening. She won't hear it and keeps telling me she has a right to know and that I betrayed her by not telling her. I disagree. I am close with both of them and am happy to hear them out, but I won't take sides. Which they know.
​
AITA? ###### | NTA, wasn't she seeing someone else too? If you were friends with them equally you would have either told them both or told neither - you told neither, because what two adults who have split do is not something you need to concern yourself with, and you're not obligated to come provide your friend with news of her ex's love life ###### |
AITA for having a hobby my wife doesn’t like?
It’s as simple as that. I’m not trafficking drugs or pimping women. I’m not stockpiling weapons for a cartel. I just have a hobby collecting action figures, and she absolutely hates it.
I’m very responsible as both a husband and father, yet she concentrated on my hobby that according to her is “not manly, nor is it what a man should do.”
So that’s pretty much it.
AITA for simply having a hobby she doesn’t like? ###### | NTA, unless you're spending irresponsible amounts of shared-or-her money on it, and it doesn't sound like you are. If her only objection is that it's "not manly," then I have to wonder why she was OK with it when you were dating/getting married. Why is it a problem now? If it's always been a problem, she should be willing to accept that it's just your thing by now. ###### |
To cut a long story short, I made a bit of a fuck up and thought I had approval to do overtime so I ended up doing an extra 70+ hours of work last month on top of my regulars. Unfortunately, I have not been paid these hours and didn't have approval for paid overtime and my manager has said there isn't anything they can do. I'm a little miffed at this.
So, I have decided to steal back the 7+ days of extra work I've undertaken by taking longer breaks, internet browsing and finishing early and starting late. It's not like they keep track of it anyway. Am I an asshole for that?
(also in my country they only have to honour the hours if total worked puts you under minimum wage, sadly it only sadly falls short of that criteria) ###### | NTA, to be honest lots of companies do this and they know what they are doing. As long as you continue to get your work completed and don't get caught, it's perfectly fair.
Also keep this in mind next time you're needed to do overtime, get them to agree to pay before you sign up for extra hours! ###### |
This happened last year but I always wondered if I was TA.
so my dad has three girls (at the time we were 17,15,11) and his wife has three boys (they were 8,12,14) and we lived together in a big house until we moved to a smaller one because rent.
The house has a master room for the parents and four bedrooms so me and my sisters got two rooms and the boys got the other two (bigger) rooms because they live with their mother full time and my sisters and I are in shared custody.
when we went to see the house I found out me designated room was the one used as a storage and it was so small my little sister (15f) couldn't sleep there because she had an adult sized bed and it wouldn't fit. I complained to my dad that my room was the smallest despite the fact I am the oldest child and I spend more time in my room then anyone else. I also complained that my sisters (15,11) had to share a rather small room and that he shouldn't have sighed a contract before making sure the house had enough room for all the children. my dad's wife told me I was ruining the mood because the whole point of seeing the house was to be happy about how pretty it was and that I was the only one complaining. I know I have the right to feel what I feel but since they already sighed the contract and there was no way to change the situation I was ruining her mood.
AITA?
If anyone is concerned I solved the situation. I used the move as an excuse to go live with my mom( something I wanted to do anyway) so now (11f) has "my" room and 15f has the normal room. I sleep in 15f's room in my childhood bed every other weekend. 14M has his own room and his little brothers don't mind sharing a room (their words not mine) ###### | NTA, time to move to your mum's house I think ###### |
My mom has recently allowed my mentally ill aunt, who has been living with us on and off over the years to live in the basement permanently because she is unable to find and maintain any other kind of housing. My aunt is extremely mentally ill, and although she does not have a diagnosis because she refuses to get any medical help, it’s safe to say that she experiences psychotic episodes, and potentially dangerous ones at that. I also think she’s a narcissist, but that’s just my armchair psychology.
I’m frankly not a fan of her being here particularly because I can tell my mom is absolutely terrified, even if she won’t admit it. She recently told me to keep all of the blinds closed on the main floor at all times and to not talk about my aunt at all because she may have installed some kind of recording software or another to eavesdrop on our conversations around the house, which she has done before.
Growing up she was sort of the boogeyman of the household- she’s been there maybe a month out of the year before my mom threw her out for harassing the neighbours, bullying me, or going on psychotic rampages about electromagnetic sweeps or assassins coming for our family or other things of that nature. Any time that she was around during my childhood, our lives were a nightmare, and now it’s like that constantly except my mom has become completely passive and has accepted that this is how things have to be.
I fully understand that my aunt is mentally ill, but I’m also extremely uncomfortable with the inherent danger she has proven herself to be. Any time I bring up the issue of finding her some kind of mental help or frankly getting her away from us, my mom just gets angry, shuts me down and says that she’d go to hell for kicking a sick person out of her house and she has no other choice. I feel like we’re putting ourselves in danger unnecessarily, and I think my mom is in denial about the gravity of the situation she put the both of us in. ###### | NTA, though I think the scope of this probably goes beyond Reddit. Your mom is enabling your aunt's illness, and they both need help. While the mentally ill area rarely physically dangerous to others, you deserve to feel emotionally safe and have the ability to relax in your home. Your aunt's unwillingness to seek treatment is making your home unwelcoming and tense, if not dangerous.
Can you move out? Do you have a different, safer relative who would take you in if you are under age or need time to get on your feet? Leaving might be the only action your mom will understand, since she won't listen to you talk about your problems with your aunt.
If you can't leave, then can you put a strong lock on your bedroom door? You could at least have a place of respite in your home where you feel safe. I would keep it locked at all times, and not share the key with anyone. If your mom complains, tell her that you deserve a place where you feel safe. ###### |
My boyfriend who I have been dating for a while and living with for a year deals with depression. Unfortunately this bleeds into everything.
I have to fight for conversation, fight for equal effort, and fight for respect.
Today I told him I'm done fighting.
I'm writing a chore chart. It has me, my roomate, and him to do an equal amount of chores. The same thing every day/week/month each. This is to hold him accountable with minimum effort on my part.
When I had to try to get a conversation instead of asking questions to get an answer I decided to walk away.
I'm going to start watching my own shows by myself instead of begging him to. I'm going to go do the things I want to do by myself instead of being fine with begging him to. (We have had 4 dates in the past 6 mos.) I'm finding my own rock climbing buddy.
If he doesnt want to talk during meals I'm eating by the creek(we have 6 acres of land)
If he doesnt want to take the dog out with me I'm no longer going to bed him or change my own plans. I'll take her by myself.
If he doesnt want to meet my friends I'll plan to hang out with them by myself.
I'm done putting in all the effort at my expense.
WIBTA? ###### | NTA, this will good for your relationship. You need boundaries and equal contribution. ###### |
Today my mother saw a thing in her social media group where some of our neighborhood’s children recorded themselves saying a thank you message to the current frontline healthcare workers, and then playing a short musical piece on the piano/violin. This is a sweet gesture, but my mother immediately decided my sister (13) should also record herself doing this because “it gives you a chance to develop public speaking skills.” My sister was reluctant to do it because she thinks it’s cringey and it’s clear that the other children’s parents also forced them to do this, but she caved in.
While she was doing the recording, I was videocalling some friends who I haven’t talked to weeks. While I got caught up talking I overheard my mother yelling at my sister, likely because my sister wasn’t doing the recording the way she wanted it to. My sister then popped in my room and asked me “can you combine two videos clips together directly on the iPad?” I was talking with friends so I didn’t elaborate and said “no I don’t think you can, you probably need another app for that.” An hour later I was finished talking, and my mom came in the room, angry that I didn’t stop talking to my friends to help my sister edit the video which *she* was the one who basically forced her into doing. My mother was also complaining about how she “had to learn how to use iMovie” in order to help my sister combine the clips.
I didn’t confront my mother while she was yelling about how selfish of a sister I am, who only hangs out with my younger sister only when it’s convenient for me to do so, but inside I was thinking that it’s not fair I have to help my sister with this when my mother was the one who basically said “I want this recording done so you can be like the other kids” without providing any help or guidance to my sister. AITA? ###### | NTA, this was your Mother’s project. She needed to do it. ###### |
Throwaway for obvious reasons
In January when my sister (22) found out she's pregnant, the father isn't in the picture and she is currently single. She lives a state away and my (F16) parents have always treated us much different.
I have nothing against my sister, she's great and I love her but after she left the house a few years back it's almost like my parents forgot they still had another kid to raise. I always felt like my wants and needs were put in the back burner, they were always too tired or too busy for me or any of my accomplishments. For example I got a piece of artwork sent to our state capitol for display and the only thing I got from my parents was a dismissive "that's cool." I always felt like they had my sister so my mom could have a girl and had me so my dad could have a boy, which obviously didn't work out.
Cut to today and my parents are constantly swooning over how they can't wait to be grandparents. They buy huge gifts and make homemade clothes and furniture just for the baby. In my mind it's just my dad's second chance for a boy so they're going all out. I have never felt so unwanted in my life. Some examples of this include:
my dad saying he's gonna give the kid the pickup once they can drive (the pickup that was supposed to be mine) My dad framing a bunch of my great-uncle's records to give to the kid (ones that are bands *I* enjoy) my mom constantly making stuff for the baby meanwhile she promised me a blanket and a hat. Plus many more
I just feel like I don't even matter anymore, all they talk about is the baby and my sister lives an hour away! I get their excited but still. This all came to a head tonight when I asked for help on my math homework and they just ignored me. It feels like there's just a little voice in the back of my head telling me maybe if I get knocked up they'd care about me too.
So Reddit AITA? ###### | NTA, this really sucks for you and I totally empathise with your jealousy - it's not like you don't want your sister's kid to feel wanted, it's that YOU want to ALSO feel wanted, and there's nothing wrong with wanting that. Have you ever tried to tell your parents and/or sister how your feeling? Could they be oblivious? ###### |
Ok ok, first thing first i have nothing against marijuana at all. I think its very beneficial for people who use it to control anxiety and calm them down, zero judgment there.
But my girlfriend is seriously reliant on the stuff. Like, if she ever gets a stomachache, she almost always goes for weed over any other remedy. And now if she doesnt get a smoke in often, her stomach hurts so bad she barley moves. She also smokes before most meals, and has told me in the past that her thoughts are always drifting towards her next hit, even when we're having a great time, or staying with my family.
I think that if she could get this under control it could be more healthy, but some people tell me I'm an asshole for even thinking about interfering with her smoking. And she occasionally guilt trips me when I suggest we help her control it.
AITA for wanting to help her reel back her weed usage? ###### | NTA, this pattern does not sound healthy at all.
I'm really not sure what these other folks calling you the a-hole are thinking. Weed is like pretty much anything else: just fine in moderation, but represents significant harm if you overdo it, and not just for health reasons (although that's certainly in the picture here, I imagine). Too much of anything will interfere with the way you live your life, and the fact is, you're her boyfriend, and thus you're part of that life. It isn't just her life she's impacting with the constant weed dependency. It's yours. ###### |
There's this business one of my closest friends wants to invest in. He says it will make loads of money. He asks me for money to start it up, saying he will pay me back double in three months. Keep in mind what he is asking for is not pennies, it's a huge amount of money (at least for a teenager anyways) Anyways, I tell him that l don't have that kind of money. He tells me to take some money out of my savings to help him out. I refuse saying that l worked hard for that money, I can't risk losing it. I have been saving up for the past year for an xbox one, he knows this.
Anyways he explodes saying the way l don't care about him and l never have. He says a real friend would help him out. He says that l am not willing to take risks and that's why l will never move forward in life. He has this obsession with Bill Gates and wants to be a multi millionaire, like him.
For context, we are both 18. I am a girl, he is a boy. ###### | NTA, this is why you have money and he doesnt. ###### |
So, this kid, we’ll call him michael. He did have special needs, and had a helper teacher with him at all times. One day, he was going through my backpack, looking for my rare Pokémon card binder. I’d always had them with me. I told him to get out of my bag, and he left, but with the binder. When I told his helper teacher to give the cards back she said “he has special needs, just let him have them. You don’t even have proof that they were yours.” I went ballistic. I yelled at her and Michael for god knows how long. I ended up getting in trouble with my teachers for yelling at a boy with special needs. He still has the binder. He took the chance for me to do things with the money I could’ve gotten with them. He made my dreams inaccessible. Am I the asshole for being mad at him?
Edit; this was about three years ago, I no longer go to this school. My parents just say that there’s nothing they can do, and I should move on. ###### | NTA, this is theft, get your parents involved and hopefully the principal. The teacher has no respect for your boundaries. ###### |
I (17 pre everything mtf) have recently realised that I would be comfortable in life as a transgender woman. Unfortunately due to conservative parents I’m going to have to wait until I move out to transition.
When I realised this, the first person I told was my (now ex) girlfriend (17), a little bit of background she is clearly of Asian descent but her parents are white as snow, it’s clear to everyone shes adopted. She seemed supportive at first (using correct pronouns and my chosen name) she even said she would stay with me through my transition, I told her not to spread the word because my Dad could ship me off to conversion therapy if he heard about this.
At first I was happy to have told her but when I woke up I was flooded with messages from literally everybody in my year. Some where nice offering make up tips and the like, but some where calling slurs such as tranny or trap. And then I realised that there is a high likelihood that this is all going to get back to my Dad via people in my year telling their parents about the situation and then I’m royally screwed.
I messaged my ex asking if she told anyone. She claimed to have only told a few. I then asked where literally everybody in my year knows now. She told me to grow up and how accepting people are. I then reminded her of my VERY conservative dad and she responded with an eye roll emoji. That really pissed me off so I said “At least my biological parents give a shit about me and didn’t just sell me out to some random ass family” she left me on read after this and according to her friend she was crying on FaceTime.
In hindsight I could see she meant well by telling her friends but I specifically told her not to because of the consequences that would unfold if the word got around. I feel like an asshole for what I just said but I suppose it’s up for you to decide. ###### | NTA, this is horrible. I don’t blame you for reacting the way you did, she clearly doesn’t give a fuck that she put your entire life in danger so she could feel good about herself for 15 minutes. Please feel free to PM me if you need anything at all. ###### |
A bit of context, my parents are divorced, but they always agreed what they do for one child, they do for the other.
My older sister got a private tutor and also had driving lessons for 2 yrs which my parents split the cost for between them, but my dad refused to do for me because he said that maintence should cover the cost. I ended up not being able to get a tutor, but my mum managed to pay for driving but at a huge financial cost.
While my sister has been at university, my dad has been giving her over £300 a month to help her. But he has told me he won't do the same for me because I was planning on working abroad and I had been told that if I worked abroad after graduating, I don't have to pay off student loans. I have found out since that I was told wrong and I will still have to pay it off and I emailed him telling him, but he never responded.
When he told me he wasn't going to help, I was upset and went up to my room. His girlfriend came up and told me that I was being a brat about it. She also told me that he was probably going to lose his job which was why he wasn't helping me. Which would be a valid reason, except this all happened a few months ago and he's still not lost it, and he would've lost it by now, especially with the current situation, if he was gonna lose it.
My mum emailed my dad after finding out his girlfriend called me a brat saying she didn't want me near her again which he didn't reply to, but she did calling me a liar, and I quote " if she (me) thinks the hat fits, she can wear it". My dad is still with her and it feels like he has chosen both her and my sister over me.
My relatives are telling me that I'm making a big deal out of nothing and it's not his fault that he upsets me because he has aspergers so he doesn't realise that he's upsetting me, but after everything went down, I emailed him specifically telling him why and how it hurt me. Are my relatives right and I'm being an asshole and should just let it go? ###### | NTA, this is clear favouritism, if cutting him off makes you happier do it. There’s no point sticking with someone hurting you this much, even your dad. ###### |
For context: I am 16, mom is 49.
My mother’s grandfather passed away about a month ago. She was super close to him so it’s been really hard on her. She’s finding that she’s really sad (obviously) and having a hard time coping.
My mom usually doesn’t like materialistic gifts so I usually just write her a letter or a card or craft her something but I have a job as a tutor now so I wanted to buy her a little bit. I did write a card for her and got some other stuff but when I was browsing target I saw this thing called a “happy journal.” It basically consists of ideas to do for self care and happiness and a place to record her moods. I thought it was a thoughtful idea because she’s been sad lately and I wanted to acknowledge she was going through a tough time.
However, my friends told me it’s insensitive and I’m just marketing off of her sadness. I truly thought it was a good idea because she hasn’t been seeing her therapist due to quarantine and virtual therapy isn’t cutting it. I feel like a bad daughter and I’m hesitant to give it to her.
AITA? ###### | NTA, this is a thoughtful gesture, especially coming from her daughter. I'm so confused why your friends think giving a gift is "marketing" off anything... ###### |
Backstory : GF and I have been together for 3 years. We have one child aged about 1 years old.
Our relationship has been rocky for the last month or so.
Anyway. About 1 month ago she started snapchating (snaping?) a guy and mutual friend of ours again, nothing strange about that, i don't mind. Then they start sending bitmojis and not long after that they are snapchating all day every day. She even told me "hey, i'm flirting with this guy, lol " and now for the last few weeks they've been Blowing kisses at eachother etc etc. Something like this : 😂😂😍😘😘 all day everyday. She even stayed awake until 3am snaping this guy when we went to bed at 11 at multiple occasions.
I asked her why she thinks that it's okay to do what she's doing , and she told me that "we're just trolling, why do you care? Don't you trust me?"
I do trust that she doesn't do anything stupid, but when i pointed out that she would hang me for doing the same thing, she just said "yeah, and?"
I find it extremely annoying that she spends so much time texting and flirting with another guy, even if it's playful and " just for fun."
She thinks i'm the asshole in this situation because she thinks i don't trust her and i'm being jealous.
Meanwhile my whole problem in this situation is the obvious double standards.
Additional info: her and the guy has sent nudes to eachother prior to me getting together with her. Don't know if this is relevant info but i feel like it is.
Also non-native english speaker. Please forgive me. ###### | NTA, this is a huge red flag. If this makes you uncomfortable and she’s ignoring it then something needs to change. She’s not respecting your boundaries, and the history with this guy is just the cherry on top of a sh*t sundae. ###### |
So I have 2 daughters (10f,14f) and I have a son (13m). My son and daughter (10f) aren't really in this situation
My 14 year old daughter has never liked pork. Me and my son love to eat it, so it's on the table a lot of the time. And my daughter would sometimes eat the pork, but never really liked it.
About a few months ago my daughter came up to me and told me she has decided she wants to stop eating pork completely.
And of course I've supported her in her decision. I started buying Turkey pepperoni and I would make a steak ormake some chicken whenever we were having pork. I'm just trying to make her happy.
A few days ago my daughter came up to me and asked if we would stop eating pork around her because she feels like we aren't being supportive of her decision.
I told her I absolutely support her, but I'm going to eat it when I want. She then said that by not supporting her I'm a horrible father. And I told her that I have made sure that she doesn't have to eat any of the pork by cooking other meats instead. She then stormed off and complained to my wife.
My wife says that we should just stop eating it all around. But I told her that's not happening.
So AITA ###### | NTA, this is a good opportunity to talk about boundaries, she has control over her body and what she eats, but not what anyone else eats ###### |
Five of my friends and I are planning a camping trip soon. 3 girls and 3 guys. We're gonna have seperate girls and guys tents.
My friend Joe is dating this girl Meg. And often times I've seen her at a party, she gets trashed... Like puking, too drunk to stand, etc...
Joe said he wasn't sure if he could go because Meg didn't want him camping without her. I said that's all fine, I'd like him to come because we all miss him and want to see him, but if he couldn't go, it's all good.
He asked me later if he could go and bring Meg.
I had some worries, like we're all gonna be drinking on this trip and I don't feel like she can moderate herself. Especially because we're only bringing liquor because that's easier to pack in.
Had a bunch of worries like her falling drunk into the river or campfire, falling and getting hurt in the woods, puking in the tent or otherwise wrecking the tent, etc. Breaking bottles in the woods. Stuff I wouldn't have to worry about with anyone else in the group.
I said I'd rather not invite Meg. I tried to put it nicely and say that she tends to drink more heavily than the rest of us and I'd be worried about her in the woods.
So Joe told Meg no, I think he had a talk with her to say that she wouldn't be able to go but he'd really like to.
And she texted me and blew up at me for trying to take Joe camping but not letting her come, saying that was not appropriate to do with someone in a relationship. Saying some nasty stuff about me and how I'm too childish and selfish to understand what a relationship is like and that you can't just do anything you want.
I haven't said anything back yet, I'm thinking about what to say.
AITA for how I handled the camping invites? ###### | NTA, this is a friends camping trip and she’s not in your friend group, she’s just in a relationship with someone in it. To be fair I’m biased because I think any relationship where someone tries to stop you from doing things with your friends is awful but that’s their prerogative ig. But it’s not your relationship and you bear no responsibility to her jealousy issues. You invited your friend, not his gf. You didn’t pressure him to come and not every invite has to include a plus one. ###### |
So I actually made a reddit account because this has been on my mind a lot lately with the pandemic. I'm currently quarantined in the house with my parents and younger sister. I have a couple of food allergies which, while not severe (i.e. I won't go into anaphylactic shock if I accidentally eat a piece of a pecan), I'd rather avoid triggering if I can. To that end, I usually end up buying snacks and food for myself that don't contain my allergens which I pay for myself.
I've been working from home, and had my snack mix next to me which I'd just closed up because I didn't want it to get stale when my mom comes up beside me. I turn my head because she might have to ask me something and see her open up my jar, reach her hand in, and take a big handful of snack mix without saying a word to me. I've always considered helping yourself to someone else's food without asking to be rude, so later, I mentioned to my mom that I wouldn't mind sharing if she at least asked me first since those are snacks that I paid for myself because they don't have my allergens in them. She got annoyed at me, saying that she guesses she'll keep that in mind next time she does the family grocery run. This isn't just my mom either, I'd just gotten myself some takeout and turned to grab a plate in time to see my dad open up the container and start eating the contents. When I got upset, he slunk off pouting.
My sister thinks I'm being selfish and a jerk because I won't share, but AITA for wanting my family to ask before they take my food?
P.S. On mobile, and this is my first reddit post, so formatting may be wonky. ###### | NTA, this is a common problem though. Whenever I buy something I don’t want to share I have to keep it in my room because my parents guilt trip me if I don’t willingly share it. ###### |
My son is bisexual. I got no problem with his lifestyle. Before you want to burn me i'm a bisexual male also. But when my son is online with his friends as a joke or a gesture. He makes a slurping noice. I mean i'm not stupid. I know what it insinuates. As his dad it just creeps me out. I told him if anyone of my other kids did it. I would say the same thing. I asked him nicely. I just said hey umm don't you think that would make me a tad uncomfortable? I respect he lives here at home and helps us out. ###### | NTA, this has nothing to do with his sexual orientation. You are simply asking your son to respect your boundaries as his dad and not make sexual references in front of you. It makes no different what kind of genitalia he is referencing, it is still disrespectful to you.
Edit grammar ###### |
I (19f) have cousins that all went to boarding school.
My family is very traditional, and have a long history of sending their children to boarding school. Most of my family members get sent to the UK, US and Canada age 8/9.
When I was young, I got very sick. After that, my parents had separation anxiety when it came to me so I got to attend normal day school.
Some of my cousins resent me though. It’s understandable, I got to live with my parents while they didn’t.
I had started getting pressure to attend boarding school from my cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles at 13 since I was old enough to ‘handle’ myself and I haven’t had any health scares.
My grandparents had want me to uphold the tradition, but I hadn’t wanted to leave my parents and go to a foreign country. They said that I could go to one in my home country, but I still wouldn’t have been able to see my parents as often.
I still get taunted for my refusal to go although I’m done with high school and am currently taking a gap year.
I was at my aunt’s house for a gathering and I heard my cousin say to another cousin how much of a coward I am since I ‘hid behind my mummy’s skirts’ my entire childhood. They then spoke about how spineless my parents are for not forcing me to go.
I come up to them and start arguing. They continue to say that I broke years of family tradition because I couldn’t cope without my parents as a teen when most of them left theirs at a far younger age.
I lost my temper then. I snap back “at least my parents loved me enough to want me around.”
Dead silence. I leave the room. None of my cousins have contacted me but my parents are asking me to apologise. ###### | NTA, they were berating you you defended yourself ###### |
I typed this on my phone, so sorry if I make any mistakes lol.
I do a lot of freelance work through instagram, work that consists of editing photos and videos. I am entering my junior year in high school, so this is how I make my own money. I do get a lot of clients, and I have frequent clients who come back constantly.
I had this one client who started up their youtube channel. I designed their logo, banner, and I edit all of their videos and make all of their thumbnails. I worked with them for almost a year and got paid about 500 dollars or so. Back in March, they asked for me to edit some videos of theirs (they record a couple in advance and upload them as soon as they receive the final version), but the problem was that because of COVID, they didn't have their paycheck yet and they were asking if they could pay later. I usually never do this but I said okay, since I have been working with them for a while now. Then in March, the same problem happened. Me being stupid said sure. In the end I edited about 12 videos, and made 12 thumbnails. I woke up the next day and they blocked me. They stole my work and uploaded it and they didn't pay me.
I was livid. I used to do free work and I stopped because the feeling of not being compensated for hard work is just horrible. One time, their internet was down so they asked me to upload this video I had edited. They gave me their Gmail email and their password that time. So, I turned on my computer and I logged in. They didn't have a 2FA setup, so I linked my phone number and I changed the password. I hid their youtube account (so it's not completely gone), and I sent them fifty cents through CashApp and told them if they didn't pay me what I deserved I would delete it.
Fast forward a few days, I get a notification from my CashApp, that I got paid, and they unblocked me from Instagram, and dm'd me. I disabled 2FA, unhid their youtube channel, and gave them their account back. I blocked them right after. AITA? ###### | NTA, they tried to shortchange you and you took control of your work. I think you know it now, but get the payment before handing over finished, publishable work in the future. You might also look into ways of copyrighting your work so you can just go through YouTube and file copyright strikes against them when/if this happens again (I would suggest severing ties after this fiasco) ###### |
Reddit,
I need a sanity check.
I got someone who bought a AIO pc that's obviously not for gaming, they offered me a lower than asking price, by a lot, and I accepted. WCGW (paid 350 from 600 asking if anyone is curious)
its been less than 12 hours since we exchanged and they are now crying for a refund because... you guessed it, it doesn't play video games.
before anyone decides to be a wiseguy, the PC is completely functional and the display is flawless (no dead pixels). They even admitted over text that they don't want it anymore because it doesn't play any games.
its got an i3, 8gb of ram and a 256gb ssd. On one side, I don't want to because there's no way to prove they didn't tamper with it (ad was deleted off letgo as soon as it was handed off so I can't even prove the original specs I sold it with), on another side, I don't really care about buyers remorse.
AITA if I lowkey don't want to refund the person and .... don't? ###### | NTA, they should've done their homework, or straight up asked you if it'd run games. Honestly, had they looked around at all the idea of getting an AIO wouldn't have been an option. ###### |
My mom and sister have had plans to do stuff this weekend out of town for a while but did not tell me till yesterday. This is fine, they are adults, but they also told me that I would need to watch my twelve and thirteen year old nieces til Monday. I do not get along with my nieces, they feel that they don't need to listen to anyone, not even their mother. I don't need the drama of these girls as I am just starting new meds for my anxiety and bipolar and don't know how they will effect my temperment yet. My mom and sister were not happy that I had told them I would not be watching the girls.
AITAH for not being willing to watch my nieces for the weekend? ###### | NTA, they should have planned better. Even if they had told you way more in advance you still have your mental health to consider. ###### |
For context, I have tritanopia colorblindness and I've been bullied for it my whole life. I recently told my friend about it and the questions started pouring in - stuff like 'what color is this', 'read this', stuff like that. I have no problem with joking around about it, but they took it too far.
They kept laughing at me and belittling me because of it so I started to ignore them, yet they didn't realize how rude they were being. I called them insensitive and they responded with 'no im not' and sent a sarcastic heart. They kept messaging me and a day later I said 'I want an apology' to which they responded 'we all want things we cant get'. I told them how much of a cunt they were being and called them immature and went offline for the day.
I have been contemplating blocking them on everything because they took it a step too far.
AITA ? ###### | NTA, they seem like a jerk, no reason to be friends with them is they’re just going to bully you all the time. ###### |
So last month I bought a condo in DC. As I was a nervous first time buyer, I went wayyy overboard in due diligence, reading every document through and through. I move in and I’m happy, but two of my window’s screw cranks for opening up are broken. Now the condo documents clearly state that windows and the main door are the responsibility of the building, not the owner. So I go down to the front desk and the manager gives me a price sheet and says it’ll be about $150/window. When I mention that the documents say the building is responsible, he says to email the association president with the reference and see what happens. After that, I go on the message board and see many previous posts of owners and sublettors who must’ve not been aware of the rules and payed out of pocket. I now wonder if I’d be an asshole for digging out the legalese after so many people just payed out of pocket, but I also have to think that if the situation were flipped, I wouldn’t get much of a break from them. WIBTA for not playing along? ###### | NTA, they need to follow the contract they signed. ###### |
Background:
Last night my kiddo, fiancé and I were talking about household stuff. Started having a bit of fun by using other languages. (Kiddo and I speak some Spanish and French, fiancé doesn’t) we were literally speaking nonsense just to make fiancé laugh.
Kiddo says “casse-toi!” Then gets this weird look on her face and says
“You know, I don’t know if casse-toi means fuck you or good evening...”
Fiancé and I fell over laughing. The combination of kiddos confusion and the look on her face was just too much.
This is where I may have screwed up. I posted her quote on Facebook. Most of my friends thought it was hilarious. But I’ve started getting nasty messages from some people. Essentially the messages all boil down to me being a horrible parent because I let my kid swear at home without punishing her.
I’ve always let my kids swear at home. The rule is basically use the word appropriately, don’t call names and don’t use foul language in front of elders or at school. Kids have always followed the rules without issue.
Amita here? ###### | Nta, they don’t like your parenting style and want to shame you for it. You are the parent not them sooo doesn’t really matter what they think. ###### |
So my(16f) sister(23f) was studying abroad in Italy but the whole corona virus thing happened and she had to come back. She left all of her stuff with her roommate who lived there, including her computer.
My mom lent her her computer for about a month because she wasn’t really using it, but now she needs it for work so I was the next candidate. My parents were already planning on buying me a new computer since the one that I’m using now is a very old model and cannot stand many programs I may have in school next year (i will use this for all high school and college). So they decided to buy it and immediately give it to my sister. She has been using it for a month now and will use it until she gets her stuff back.
Now, I would be fine if she was just using it for necessary stuff like school or looking up things seeing as she has a TV on her room and a phone. But my mom said that she would use it as she would use it as if it was her own which means watching movies, going on YouTube, etc. This would also be fine if it wasn’t, well.. my sister.
She has a very long past of mistreating all and every electronic device that she’s had and I admit I was very nervous to hand her my computer. When I voiced my concerns to my parents, my mom got mad at me for being an ungrateful child and basically screamed at me for even thinking about it. I wouldn’t really have made this post if that comment didn’t make me so sad.
I kind of already know that I’m in the wrong here, but I’d still like an outsiders opinion. Also this is my first post ever. I hope I didn’t make any mistakes. ###### | NTA, they could have given your sister your old computer. They told you something was your and then gifted it to someone else. ###### |
Okay so this is pretty funny I know
I got fired today from a studio I was working in as a tattoo artist. I did not get a proper reason to why and my boss fired me over text. I'm pretty upset over it and I lashed out on him because he sees me almost everyday yet did not have the guts to do it face to face. He also did not complain about anything I've done (nor my tattoos) and just couldn't seem to give me an actual valid reason so I'm still confused.
I can't sue him because we don't have a contract and I'm a freelancer (most tattoo artist in my country are freelancers)
I also had to find another job because he didn't forward any clients to me (I still don't have enough of my own clients to provide for me.) Anyway I didn't really lose any money over this.
Okay to the point-
I had a really great pair of scissors and I brought it to the studio for the staff and for me to use because the studio had only very shitty scissors and no one bothered to buy any new ones. (Also I would bring baked goods and whatnot all the time, made sketches for my boss to tattoo... I did A LOT in that studio)
So my scissors are the most popular ones in the studio right now and i want them back.
I want to take them back without telling anyone.
I know it's pretty passive aggressive of me but I feel like this was really unfair and screw the owner??
So WIBTA if I take them back without anyone knowing? They are used by everyone so they're not really only mine when they're there. ###### | NTA, they are your property, it isn't 'stealing'. Super shady circumstances surrounding the firing though, sounds like you're well rid of that (ex) boss. ###### |
I got custody of my nephews when they were 4 and 6. Their mother and my brother were drug addicts and exposed them to terrible things. I put my life on hold at 30. I'm now 39. I did a damn good job re-raising those boys and they call me "dad." I am very proud of them. The youngest isn't my brother's biological child. They are amazing kids. I occasionally spoke with him, but wouldn't let him contact the boys because it would be too upsetting for them.
Both my brother and his girlfriend caught up in a drug case that went federal. Both got 10 years. Their mother is completely out of the picture. I have no idea where she is or if she is even alive, but supposedly she was released two years ago. My kids don't ask and don't care.
My brother got out this year. I don't keep tabs on him, but he recently reached out to me and asked me if I could send him pictures of the kids when they were younger and happier. He doesn't recognize them now (he saw them on social media). He says he regrets fucking up their early years. I thought about it and said no. They might be happy, funny, healthy, active and social kids but they do have scars because of my brother and his girlfriend. My logic is that as my kids must live with those scars, my brother should have to live with being completely blacked out of their lives. I have pictures and videos of them swimming with dolphins and jumping off waterfalls and scoring soccer goals. But those experiences would have been denied had they stayed with them. Plus I gave up A LOT to become a single dad to two kids at 30. I still sacrifice. ###### | NTA, they are your kids. Your opinion is the only one that matters. When they’re older and if want to speak to him, it’s up to them ###### |
I am a 22f living at my parents home due to the state of the world. We live in a nice neighborhood out side of city limits. Each house sits on about three acres so there’s a fair amount of room between houses. Growing up the neighborhood was quiet with very few, if any, disagreements. Within the last few years a new family moved in with teenagers and money to burn. They have several golf carts, 4wheelers, and motorized bikes the kids and friends like to race up and down the street. Last fall a kid fell off their golf cart and cracked his head open in our front yard. After that the racing stopped. In the last few weeks it started again. Racing in the dark with out lights, reflective clothes, or even helmets. As the kids are a bit older they’ve added trucks to the mix with kids up and dancing in the bed of the trucks while it’s moving. I have talked to the mom about my concerns, and she said she tells them to stop when she sees it, but she also likes to be a mean girls “cool mom” and allows the kids to basically do whatever. As this is occurring more frequently (at least 3 nights in the last week) I am considering calling the police the next time it happens. I hate to waste the officers time, but I am worried that another kid will wind up severely injured, or worse. If I call the cops, AITA? ###### | NTA, they are in the wrong for not using their vehicles in a safe manner. Please call the police, it's a better lesson than if they learn it from one of the kids dying. ###### |
My husband is an avid computer gamer - mostly WoW-type games. Approximately five nights of the week, he'll play games online from the time that our son goes to bed at 8:00 or 8:30 to about 12:30, so at least four continuous hours. That in itself is not at all an issue for our relationship. He spends plenty of time with me and our son, and I have my own hobbies that he isn't interested in that I engage in when he's online.
A few nights ago I was doing laundry while he was playing online, and I stepped on a toy that my son had left on the basement stairs. I fell pretty hard and dropped the basket. Luckily because of the way my weight was shifted I fell backwards rather than forwards, resulting in a bruise on my butt but I was otherwise fine. The laundry basket clattered down the stairs, ricocheted off some basement furniture, shot laundry everywhere. It was a huge racket. It woke up my son. My husband, who had his headphones on, heard literally nothing.
It dawned on me that if something really bad happened to me, my husband wouldn't know about it for potentially four hours - like what if I broke my leg falling down the stairs? So I asked if he would be willing, for my peace of mind, to just pop out of his office at the mid-point each night just to check on me. Like literally, just say hi and go back to gaming. He thinks this is a huge overreaction and a waste of time. I know for a fact that he isn't actively playing the entire time and he sometimes takes breaks to go to the bathroom or get a snack or whatever, so how is this different? AITA? ###### | Nta, there's a story somewhere on Reddit about a guy upstairs playing games with noise cancelling headphones. People broke in and attacked his wife (possibly sexually assaulted her, I can't remember). This is a totally valid request. ###### |
So, this kid, we’ll call him michael. He did have special needs, and had a helper teacher with him at all times. One day, he was going through my backpack, looking for my rare Pokémon card binder. I’d always had them with me. I told him to get out of my bag, and he left, but with the binder. When I told his helper teacher to give the cards back she said “he has special needs, just let him have them. You don’t even have proof that they were yours.” I went ballistic. I yelled at her and Michael for god knows how long. I ended up getting in trouble with my teachers for yelling at a boy with special needs. He still has the binder. He took the chance for me to do things with the money I could’ve gotten with them. He made my dreams inaccessible. Am I the asshole for being mad at him?
Edit; this was about three years ago, I no longer go to this school. My parents just say that there’s nothing they can do, and I should move on. ###### | Nta, there may be nothing you can do now but you don’t wanna blame yourself for that. I’m guessing they were rare? ###### |
My dad lost his job and my mom hasn’t worked in 30 years. They’ve been living outside their means since I went to college and unsurprisingly had to move out of their apartment just before covid and anti eviction stuff happened because they didn’t have rent money. They moved in with us since my sister lives in Germany.
Since then they’ve constantly been making these little comments that eat away at me, like my husband doesn’t work hard enough, or I don’t cook enough, etc. I had just been taking it since they’re my parents but yesterday my husband was napping on the sofa and I wanted to watch tv so I had him lay his head on my lap.
Later my mom asked me if I am sure he’s not gay since it was “effeminate” for him to put his head in my lap. The homophobia aside I don’t understand how putting his head in HIS WIFE’S lap, who is a WOMAN, is gay.
I finally had it and sat them both down and said that if they are going to continue to stay with us they would have to stop making comments, and if they didn’t I would make them leave.
They started telling me how I’m a horrible daughter because I would be willing to kick my own parents to the curb over comments that were meant to help me and were made in good faith. I don’t understand how they could have been in good faith but now I feel bad.
AITA? ###### | NTA, their comments are despicable. Here you are generously opening your home to them in their time of need, and all they can do is insult you? Wow. I would absolutely kick someone out of my home for behaving like that. ###### |
I (18F) have been friends with this girl (18F) for a couple of years. She’s always had problems at home and has a lot of trauma from it. I’ve always helped her and stood by her. Last year she started doing a lot of weird things without telling anyone but me. Things that could put her in serious danger, like wanting to meet up with a 38 year old man for example. This stuff put a lot of pressure and stress on me as she can be pretty mean when things are going bad as well. I’ve been trying to get her to talk to a psychologist but I, of course, can’t force her and this lead to me playing her psychologist for a long time.
I was mentally and emotionally drained. It was so bad that I had to go to a therapist myself and eventually she taught me how to set boundaries.
Now that she’s doing bad again and can’t talk maturely about it (but keeps dropping all her problems on me), I told her that I couldn’t do it anymore and I only wanted to deal with her problems if she was able to talk normally about them. I’ve decided not to talk to her until she comes to me.
I feel really guilty about it, as she might need me. But I feel like this is for my own well-being. ###### | Nta, the worst is trying to help someone who can't even be bothered to help themselves. ###### |
Let me start of by saying that for those who don’t know the history of the swastika, it has been used in India by Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, and Jains for thousands of years as a sacred symbol before it was appropriated by the Nazis for their evil genocidal agenda. As a result, most portraits of Hindu gods and goddesses, a few of which I have hung up in my apartment (I am a Hindu) contain images of the swastika. An acquaintance of mine (not close) entered my apartment a few days ago and seemed shocked: he first accused me of being a Nazi sympathizer! Needless to say, I disabused him of this notion and told him about the history of the symbol in Indian culture. He then told me that I ought to cover up the swastika symbols on my posters because since the Nazis have used the symbol, it is no longer appropriate to display, but I think this is entirely the wrong approach: refusing to display a symbol sacred in my culture for thousands of years because the Nazis used it would be like letting them win. He then said I was being very insensitive and called me a pretentious asshole for expecting everyone to know the history of the swastika. If you go to India, you will see the swastika everywhere and needless to say, the people who display it are not Nazi sympathizers. However, I also know that cultural standards in the US are different from in India and have no desire to be an asshole or pretentious. So, AITA? ###### | NTA, the swastika is a traditional symbol in Indian culture appropriated by the Nazis. It is culturally meaningful and should not be covered up. Many people don’t know the history and you have an opportunity to educate them about it if they see the posters and have questions. ###### |
My sister is pregnant, and she lives with us. She’s 19. My parents have made me her personal care taker. Anything she needs it’s my responsibility to get no matter what. 1 am and she wants ice cream? Guess who’s driving to the store. And that actually happened. It was before quarantine so going to the store for her doesn’t happen anymore but she’s still a bitch about everything.
When she threw up I had to hold her hair, if she wanted a drink she couldn’t be bothered to get up, I have to get it. She’s pregnant not quadriplegic, she can get her own fucking drink.
If I ever complain about it my parents lecture me about caring for loved ones when they need it and threaten to take away my computer. I paid for the computer by the way, I worked an actual job for it, none of the money came from them.
I finally lost it yesterday when she asked me to give her a foot rub. I told her I wasn’t doing that and she cried to our parents who started lecturing me. I told them to fuck off and take the computer because I didn’t care, and they called me a spoiled brat and grounded me. Not like I can go anyway, because of the virus. My sister is now demanding foot rubs again or she’ll go to my parents.
AITA? ###### | NTA, the only thing your parents are doing are enabling learned helplessness. Where is the expected father? ###### |
Throwaway and on mobile
So my dad recently passed away from cancer and in his will, he clearly stated that I am to inherit everything, and my 3 younger siblings get nothing, the reasoning behind my father's decision is because my siblings had cut contact from him when he divorced my mum, (it was a mutual divorce but my mum had manipulated them into thinking he had an affair) and only talked to him when they needed money, despite that he always sent texts trying to check in their lives but they wouldn’t respond.
My father had left a letter explaining that he was hurt and disappointed that they had left him and why they wouldn’t be receiving anything, his last wish to me was to ensure that I never gave a dime to my siblings. So I don’t know if I should carry out with my father’s wish.
I believe that the fair route would be to donate it all to charity but my siblings are calling me the asshole because I’m not giving the money to them.
Edit: Thank you guys for your opinions. Means a lot. ###### | NTA, the money is yours as stated in your father's will. Your siblings treated your father poorly after the divorce despite his attempts to keep in touch with them. Don't give them any money, follow your father's last wish. As for giving it to charity, the money is yours and you can do whatever you want with it ###### |
I )f27) have been with my fiancé (m34) for about 4 years now and we’re getting married this winter. My fiancé has two kids from a previous relationship, whom I love dearly. I’ve been teaching his eldest child piano for about three years now. We have our first dance song picked out to be When You Say You Love Me by Josh Groban, and I thought it would be a lovely surprise for my fiancé if his daughter played the song on piano for us as a surprise. She’s super excited about the idea and can’t wait to surprise her daddy with this.
So because she’s going to perform this at the wedding, she’s been practicing it a lot. Apparently her mom asked her why she kept playing it on piano all the time (can’t practice at our place as easily in order to preserve the surprise). She told her mom what we had planned for our wedding, and her mom was surprisingly pretty mad about this.
I got a text from her telling me how inappropriate it was to have their daughter play a song like this (like, hello?! It’s an innocent love song at our wedding for crying out loud) and that she wants me to put an end to this idea immediately. I’m at a loss for words. I’ve met her a handful of times, but I don’t really know her as I’ve always left the parenting between my fiancé and his ex, as I figured it wasn’t my place. We’ve always been civil though, so I don’t know what to make of this.
AITA here, for wanting my soon to be step daughter to play this at our wedding? I just thought it was a great idea, but her mom is adamant that I don’t allow this. ###### | NTA, the biomom is probably having a hard time dealing with the fact that you're bonding with her daughter and that you two have something you share now (piano). Biomom feels excluded from her daughter's life and her ex is moving on, she took it out on you. Not very mature, hopefully she'll find a better way of handling this ###### |
This was a good while ago but I just realized maybe I could confirm what I thought.
My Context: I wrote a story and it was one of the best I had written in a good long while. My mom loved it and wanted to post it to Facebook. I was excited, I love sharing my stories! So she posts it and then later I go on Facebook for the first time in a while to see my story with no credit. All of the comments are telling my mom how amazing of a writer she is. I wrote it, not her, it really hurt my feelings. It felt like she took credit for my work. So I told her she needs to credit me. She argued that she wanted genuine reactions without credit or context. But that's not how it came off.
Also during this time, she tried to get me to make a big piece of art for no money. I'm her family, I dont need money.
Her context (to the best of my ability)(im still using I for myself and she for my mom): I wrote a good story, she wanted to share it. She wanted a genuine reaction so she posted it without credit but then I got mad. To her, it feels like I dont trust her. Do I really think she would take credit for my work? Why would I think that? She just doesn't get it. Even after I changed it to give myself credit, she was still offended because I "accused" her of stealing my work.
And why should she have to pay for artwork I made, it's for a friend and a family member! Why do I demand to get paid?
The story context doesn't matter and the artwork was a T-shirt design for a retiring coworker (who I have never met). I didn't have the proper programs to draw what she wanted so that's why I raised the price even higher.
I hope I gave enough context, if we need more I can come back and edit it. ###### | NTA, Thats shitty and gross of her to snatch your story and refuse to credit. & side note- you have every right to charge adequately for your work, that doesnt make you an asshole either. Sorry you're having to deal with that, man :,/ ###### |
Ok so before i go into to much detail my boyfriend texted me that he’s looking for a transfer 10 hours away and wants to get an apartment. This aspired with a fight he had with his dad... my boyfriend is always trying to help and his father never appreciates what he dose it is defiantly a toxic environment he should get out of. I just didn’t think it would be 10 hours away.
So now a little background of us we are college sweethearts been together for over 5 years gone on so many adventures together. no we are not engaged lol we are both ok with that. We always talk about the future and when we have our own place what we will do with it. Currently we are both still living with our parents. I personally have a great relationship with my parents and we are very chill with each other my boyfriend can come over when ever he wants however I am not aloud to stay over at his house the parents don’t approve.
So here’s the difference, I pay rent I split the mortgage and house hold bills In half with my parents I pay for my own car and insurance. I have worked in the same field for over 6 years starting as a part-timer and have had a full time job for 2 years. I am now a manager and I feel stable in my life to start something. My boyfriend does not pay bills or rent however he helps his parents out a-lot he cares for them since they are older and more on the frail side. He has not had a full time job for more than 6 months since I’ve known him. The field he wants to work in is very hard to get a job and currently he is an on call during the slow time he works about 15 hours a week.
So here is my question am I the asshole for explaining that before we move in together I’d like him to have a full time job for at lest 6 months to a year? If we are starting our life together I want us both to be stable. And to be honest I think he needs to live on his own for a while to realize what it’s like to own his own place he can control. :/
Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA, that’s very reasonable. It’s also a lot for you to give up, and no one could/should blame you for wanting to proceed with caution. ###### |
He wants me to drive his family member to the airport tomorrow at 5:30 am.
Here's how that conversation went:
Me: What time does Jim leave tomorrow?
Bf: 6:45.
Me: WOW that's early.
Bf: Yeah you're going to need to get up at 5.
Me: What? Me? What are you talking about?
Bf: I have to work at 7:30, so you need to drive him.
I had no idea that any of this was going on. My boyfriend didn't ask me. He just *informed* me that this was happening. Also, maybe I'm mistaken, but if my bf went to sleep at 9:30 and woke at 5, that's 7.5 hours of sleep and totally fine. The airport is like 15 minutes away and he'd get to see his family member off.
I really don't want to do it because I'm pissed that he wouldn't even ask me. I'm big on asking permission, out of respect. If he had asked me, I'd gladly do it. I'm a person. Not an extension of himself. I'm not *obligated* to do anything for him. He doesn't think he should have asked, apparently. I told him why I was mad, and he thinks it not a big deal and I still need to do it.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA, that’s very presumptuous of him. And if he doesn’t have to be at work until 7:30 he can drive him. Also there’s taxi and Uber. ###### |
As the title suggests, I can't believe I'm actually making this post. Throwaway account obviously.
I (23F) have always disagreed with my mother (60F) on various things politically, but I'm not going to detail them here because I don't think they are very relevant to the discussion at hand. She's just a really conservative woman is the background I'm trying to provide here. We are not religious.
Anyways, today I walked downstairs to make breakfast for both of us in my nightgown (just a plain one, nothing funky, not see-through obviously) and shorts. My entire chest was covered to the neck nor was I showing shoulders. She stared at me for a while, and commented that I should not walk down like "I'm not wearing anything underneath" as my dad (63M, we have an ordinary relationship) may see it and get ideas. I was shocked and said, 1 I am wearing nothing revealing (not a bikini suit) and 2 it's very disturbing that she would suggest my dad would get incestuous thoughts from looking at his damn daughter. She got defensive and backtracked saying it's just not in accordance with her views and "men would be men" and to which point I had enough and blew up at her, saying I couldn't believe she would suggest her husband and daughter would have such thoughts just because I wore something that is as short to my thighs. I said "If it bothers you SO MUCH I'll just go change into long pants and a shirt in this 40 C summer weather". Now she's saying I over-reacted and put words in her mouth and think I'm the AH. My dad is not home yet and I am honestly way too embarrassed to bring this up and hope that she doesn't either. AITA? ###### | NTA, that’s super creepy. I hope your dad and you have continued to have a normal relationship. ###### |
Me and my Bf been together for 4 years we have our own place but the funny thing is 2 of his friends are roommates who live right next to us. My sister came by last week so I could watch my niece (7 months) while she went to work but my Bf came out the room in nothing but his underwear my sister was rightly embarrassed and left quickly I told him that he can't do that and he should at least wear pants and doesn't have to wear a shirt. He told me he refused to be uncomfortable in his own house. I tried to talk it out but he brushed it for fine. His friends come over in the living room just talk I come out the room with the tighest shirt i own and his favorite pair of panties he likes me to wear and fix a PP & J sandwich (you can still see the kitchen from the living room) I can feel the death glare in the back of my hard and walked back to our room. After that he sent to boys home and hell broke lose
AITA?? ###### | NTA, that’s hilarious and I’m so glad you were brave enough to pull that off. Double standards suck and he’s a hypocrite. Great way to teach him lol ###### |
My (F32) husband (M45) and I have been together for 9 years. The entire course of our relationship he has obsessively cleared his search history, text messages, emails, Instagram, etc. It has always bothered me but he has always insisted he has nothing to hide he just has bad OCD and prefers everything to be clear. In hindsight, I wish I had pushed a bit more, but knowing him and knowing how bad his OCD can be, I believed him. We share finances, I have access to his email (both our emails are linked on Gmail sign in), etc. For the longest time, he made me feel that any suspicion was just in my head and that I have trust issues, etc. Additionally - though we have an active sex life, I have a higher libido than he does and generally I feel we lack a sense of intimacy.
I don't know what came over me, but a few days ago I snooped on his Instagram while he was in the shower. I found a message with a user I don't know (private account, clearly a throwaway username) where they had been sending hot models back and forth to each other. In the last message, my husband sent the user a link to a model's Patreon and asked him to send her $ and he would reimburse. (I presume so a charge to Patreon wouldn't appear on our cc statement).
I sat on the information for a few days, trying to process and talk myself off the ledge. Ultimately, I confronted him. I felt betrayed, hurt, confused...I feel like I've been gaslit our entire marriage and I don't know how I will ever trust him again. He thinks I am overreacting to the Nth degree, that "everybody" does this (this is what Instagram is for, apparently), etc.
He really wants me to move on and is sulking, feeling hurt by my snooping on his phone. I am heartbroken, unable to look him in the eye, feeling like we won't be able to come back from this since I don't know how I can trust him again.
AITA?? ###### | NTA, that’s called cheating. He very clearly has been doing it for a long time, and I know it’s a Crap situation. But he doesn’t care as much as you want him to. Right now, he’s fussy because you’ve caught him-the guy clearly thinks he’s entitled to talking to whoever he wanted for very clearly distrustful reasons.
In fact, he was actively covering it up. For a long, long time. Constantly gaslighting you and manipulating you along the way. I am honestly, truly sorry. I know reddit has a habit of going straight to divorce papers-but you’ve gotta do some more digging. And breaking apart is honestly sounding like it’s the best option for you. You’re not a side fling for him to pull along while he rattles away at his other options. ###### |
So it’s about 1:15 AM and I check my Instagram before bed. I watch my girlfriend’s story and say something about it to her. She says “you’re just watching my story now?” To which I say, yes. It’s the only story I’ve watched today.
“I post very relevant things. Sometimes to the point where I can’t believe you haven’t watched...”
I told her that I care more about the in person relationships I have and that it bothers me that we even value social media to the extent we do. I’m your partner, not your #1 fucking insta-follower. Sorry I moved across the country and got a job here so we could be together and NOT have to only communicate over social media... and if were still across the world, I wouldn’t want your insta story to be my main sense of connection to you. Goddamn, we’re fucking 30 years old. How is this an issue? This is the primary thing she ever gets mad at me about. Am I the asshole here for not giving a shit about Instagram stories or am I missing something? ###### | NTA, that’s a very odd reaction to that. ###### |
I am a 16 year old male. I live with my joint family which consists of my mom (40) and dad (41) grandfather (68) grandmother (68) great grandmother (91) and also my great grand father who passed away last year at the age of 96.
We live in a very small house with respect to the number of my family members.
Hence, I dont have my own room in my own house.
My grandfather has a liver disease since a year and a half after a bypass surgery. My grandmother had a knee surgery recently and also has another one this year. My great grandmother does not have any diseases but is quite old. My mother has to take care of them and so she does not work. My father owns a business that is not doing that well currently thanks to covid-19. I was studying for an extremely important exam this year which I had to ace to get into a good college. And because of that exam I could not even go anywhere for some fun because I had to STUDY. For reference the last movie I went to see with my friends was about 3 years ago.
When the day of my final exam came, our nation went into quarantine and my 2.5 month holidays went down the drain. I now am looking after my grandparents and helping my mother in housework alongside studying for my 1st college year. Everyday I have to sit infront of my grandfather for hours just to be there if he needs anything. I havent met my friends since months and my privacy is literally 0.
I am completely fed up of everyone in my house. They feel that it is my obligation that I should look after my family. I literally have to sleep in my grand parents' room beacuse there is no room for me. I have 0hours to myself alone and the only time I get to think about myself is in the bathroom.
STILL MY FAMILY THINKS THAT I AM LIVING A LUXORIOUS LIFE AND THAT I AM UNGRATEFUL AND I AM LAZY AND UNHELPFUL BRAT.
AITA? ###### | NTA, that's rough buddy ###### |
This happened about a year ago:
I'm female artist, and my niece (6yo) absolutely loves me. One time I let her come into my bedroom when she was visiting and I forgot about the tasteful nude I had pinned to the wall behind my door. It was of a middle-aged naked woman lounging. I created it in a figure drawing class.
My niece saw it and very innocently asked. "Why is she naked?"
I'd didn't think it was a big deal because I'm pretty desensitized to nudity, so I anwered very plainly.
*"oh yeah. That was a drawing I did. Most artists have to learn how draw naked people. Even if they're gonna wear clothes over top."*
She seemed amused by that.
Well a few weeks later my family all go to a free art musium near by. My niece and I break off and are walking around the rooms, and at one point my niece stops me at a few portraits. She has me lean in and not so quietly whispers. "did- did this artist draw these people naked too?"
I chuckle and say, "yeah, probably."
My niece chuckles with me.
At that point I hear a 'tsk' from a woman near me. I glance over and this older woman is glarring right at me. She speaks under her breath, *"That's disgusting..."* and walks away.
I felt really bad after that. Was it too soon for me to tell my niece that stuff about this aspect of art? ###### | NTA, that's kind of endearing actually ###### |
Okay, hear me out. I live in a complex that is built in a circle so its like a track. A lot of people use it to run, walk, etc. I've always used it to run/walk as well. I live in Florida so I usually wear leggings and a sports bra or a tank top. I literally only wear it because it's insanely hot here.
This woman always gave me dirty looks when I'd walk by her apartment (she'd be sitting on her porch.) There are a few maintenance guys (not sure if that is the correct title for them - but that is what everyone calls them) that walk and ride around on golf carts throughout the day. I soon realized that the dirty look woman is married to one of the maintenance workers. I am always polite to them, but have never talked to them by any means.
So, yesterday I was working out on the tennis court which is near their apartment. Her and her husband were sitting on the porch. She is giving me the dirtiest looks and is making me pretty uncomfortable but I try to ignore it. Before I leave she says, "Do you like get off on having the maintenance men check you out all day?" To which I replied, "Actually yes it makes me super wet. They are what keeps my sex drive high." She looked shocked and her husband starting laughing and then she smacked him on the arm.
I came back and told my mom this story and she said I should be more sensitive and obviously the woman is insecure. Now I kinda feel bad. AITA? ###### | NTA, that's hilarious. Yes, she is insecure, and that's sad. But she tried to made that insecurity your problem, so you have every right to hand it back to her and make her deal with it herself.
Sometimes I think that women like that really want to control their partners, but they can't so instead try to control all the women around their partners. They are both controlling and deluded. ###### |
So imagine this: my mom comes into my room, flops on my teddy bear and just falls asleep. I sit there, letting her sleep and minding my own business for two hours. Then it's time for me to go to sleep.
So at this point I've tried to wake her up twice already but she only complains and goes back to sleep before I can say anything else. Since it's my mom, I left it be. But now it's time for me to sleep so surely she'd understand that she has to go right?
But she doesn't go, instead she tells me to just sleep in bed with her. For context, my family lives in a small house so when I was younger, I slept with my parents, before eventually moving into my own room. My mom is a very clingy person and tends to barge into my room very often, for very weird reasons. (Won't say more, but it's nothing bad on my end. Just super weird.)
She wasn't there when I was younger so I think she tries to amend that by doing things like this. Normally I understand, but I can't lie and say it's not uncomfortable for me.
This time I stood my ground, told her again I didn't want her sleeping with me. Eventually she left without a word. And I feel fucking bad about it.
AITA? ###### | NTA, that's a very reasonable boundary to set. ###### |
This has been on my mind for quite some time now, so I decided to get an outsiders opinion.
Some backstory:
I don’t know how to write this out without sounding arrogant so I’m just gonna be straightforward - my family is a bit wealthier than my best friends. I don’t mean anything drastically, we both live comfortable lives, but my mom can give me and my siblings some extra joys of lifes. This has become a bit of a friction point between me and my friend, she’d throw some remarks here and there but never responded, because I don’t even know what I could say.
Recently, I found out that my grandpa, who I am extremely close to, has cancer. It’s stage two and treatable, but it felt like getting punched in the throat when I heard.
A week ago he started chemotherapy, and I been very concerned, because on the phone he sounds very weak.
So, when I was talking to my friend about it, she said “well, at least if he dies, you’ll get even more money” .
I was speechless... My grandpa is battling cancer and her mind is still on money. I asked her if she could please stop focusing on that for just a minute, to which she responded that I wouldn’t get it, cause I am not poor. ( Again, her family is not poor, her parents have average incomes) She then called me a bitch for being so insensitive and hung up.
I felt like I am not the AH in this, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like one.
AITA? ###### | NTA, that was very much not the right response to hearing someone has cancer. ###### |
For the past 2 years me and my gf have been dating, she has never known what she wants to eat. Me or her sister can ask her what she wants and she will respond with "I'm not sure, what sounds good to you?" Then I'll begin listing off all the options around us fast food wise. She will proceed to tell me no on everything I say, to which I then start naming things we can buy at Walmart and she starts saying no to those things as we would have to "wait forever for them to cook" or she doesn't "feel like X meat"
This morning I'm going over the options again, and of course things play out about like this and she calls me mean for pointing out that she never knows what she wants.
AITA?
Edit: to respond to the person asking what I said, all I said was "you never know what you want to eat". I never get an attitude with her about it, and she knows I'm not mad. Or atleast I hope she does lol
Edit 2: it's a Christmas miracle, she said she wants pizza ###### | NTA, that sounds incredibly annoying. Stop giving her a million options and just pick without her if she refuses to weigh in with ideas. ###### |
Residential zoned area, less than .5 acre property, zoning ordinance limits max of 4 dogs, noise ordinance specific for dogs.
Neighbor moved in with 3 dogs, now has 11 (all ages, diff breeds). Dogs barking from 5am-11:30pm.
We told her nicely about the noise but she refuses to do anything. Smell from feces is unbearable.
We filed complaint with Zoning Dept. Neighbor now is mad that she has to give up some of her dogs.
Are we assholes because we don't want a 'kennel' next door to our home with 11 dogs that bark constantly all day? ###### | NTA, that sounds a lot like animal hoarding, so she might have other issues to contend with. I wish you luck but from my experience with living next to a neighbor with that condition you're in for a long, bumpy ride. ###### |
Where to begin? So at the age of 16 my parents forced me to get a job and i was excited to earn money but when my first check came my parents demanded that i give them my whole check, so i did. This went on for 2 years. Along the way i would ask my parents for money to buy things such as games and clothes and was always told that it was used either for paying bills or buying food. Mid way through the second year i accepted that i would never see a dime of my work and became content knowing that at 18 i would move out and keep working. Along the way i got so fustrated with my parents that i would hardly talk to them when i turned 18 i moved out without telling my parents where. They called me a month after moving out and asked me if by them giving me my money if it would fix things but i told them that i did not want my money and that they were dead to me. Im 32 years old now and havent spoken to them since i was 18. Mind you i worked 4 hrs a day 6 days a week at night while going to school for 2 years and in the summer it was full time. AITA? ###### | NTA, That said if you’re thinking about it 14 years later and asking this question on reddit, we all know it’s not about you not wanting your own money. ###### |
I’m a closeted lesbian, since my family is Christian and since I live in an asian country I keep it to myself. I’m not ashamed about who I am but I am afraid of people’s reactions.
Anyway I told one person, a friend (let’s call her Lana).When I told her she was surprised but eventually accepted me.
A few months later I had a work party to celebrate a new employee joining. I invited Lana to join. We were having a good time, then I got up to go to the bathroom. When I returned to the group, I heard her loudly telling my coworkers and my boss that I was a lesbian and she even used the “F word “to describe me. When she saw me walking towards the group she changed the subject.
Not wanting to cause a bigger scene I waited until after the party to confront her. She told me that I was “hearing things” and that I shouldn’t trust my own eyes and ears because I was probably drunk. I wasn’t.
So I stopped talking to her. A few days later she called me and admitted she said it but said that she won’t apologize for telling people the truth.
After that day I reflected on our friendship and realized how toxic she was. And her l
narcissistic tendencies.
But some of our mutual friends that she told the story to said that I overreacted, that I am an asshole for not accepting her “apology”. ###### | NTA, that person is not your friend!! ###### |
I was married to Jason for thirteen years and we shared two children, Hannah is twelve and Noah is nine. Our marriage ended rather abruptly but it didn’t come as a big surprise. We hadn’t been happy for years.
Jason began dating Emily who is fifteen years his junior shortly after the divorce. They’ve been married now for three years and she’s thirty so it’s not like he married some college kid but I still have an issue with her lack of maturity sometimes.
This was all very hard on Hannah. She doesn’t like Emily and is in counseling to deal with her jealousy towards her. The truth is I don’t like Emily very much either but I do expect my kids to be respectful.
Hannah came to me crying last night and told me that when she was at her dads this weekend she put Emily’s toothbrush in the toilet. I guess Jason found her doing this and he said it was really funny and to let him see the toothbrush. He scrubbed the toilet and I guess she thought they were going to prank Emily together but when he was done he told Hannah to brush her teeth with it.
Now I fully understand how wrong Hannah was but I can’t get the image of her crying and gagging while being forced to use the toothbrush out of my head. He then made her tell Emily what she had done and do chores to earn money to buy a new toothbrush. I’m fine with that but actually making her out it in her mouth pissed me off.
I’ll admit I don’t know if this was all about Hannah. Jason’s been a different person since he met Emily and it’s hard to watch him fawn over his gorgeous thirty year old wife. I called at one in the morning and I could tell I woke him and I went off on him. I told him how selfish he is and how he puts Emily before our kids. Still I feel like some of this was motivated by my own feelings so AITA? ###### | NTA, that is just horrifying. What she did was wrong, but HE is the adult and the punishment doesn't fit the crime. ###### |
I don’t know how I’m the asshole. But, hey.
My fiancée and I had a small fight. I wanted her to sleep earlier because she usually sleeps at 3. I wanted that because I really want to cuddle with her when I sleep.
I’m not really religious or superstitious, but she wanted us to go to this Chinese restaurant that has pretty weird and “true” fortunes. She begged me to go just for the fortunes, and we went today. When she read her fortune, I just laughed. It just said “Lose your next argument, and then you shall be more free”. I mean, it’s pretty funny and ironic.
She got mad at me laughing somehow. That I was being demeaning to her. Idk
So, AITA? ###### | NTA, that is funny and ironic. And if all you did was chuckle then I think she may be overreacting ###### |
So my gf and I have been live together for about 6 months, she moved a few hours away from her home to live with me. This was her moms first visit here this weekend.
I’m currently on night shift for a few weeks, I work 7pm to 7am with 2 hours drive time to and from. I went to bed around 11 and the gf’s mom was coming that day, she got here around 12. My gf told her to be quiet since I’m working nights so sleeping during the day.
At around 12:30 she comes in my room, wakes me up and tells me “stop being so lazy, you don’t need to sleep all day, now help carry my bags from my car”. I flipped out, told her to fuck off and grab her own bags and stay out of my room. I had about 1.5h of sleep so far so not in a good mood. Well let’s just say she turned into a miserable cunt all weekend.
So aita here? Did I go too far ###### | NTA, telling you you’re being lazy after you’ve only been at home a few hours and had less than 2 hours of sleep is totally disrespectful to you in your own home.
I am not at all following anyone who says you’re the ass hole after she verbally attacked you without provocation in this way, that’s utterly fucked - the only more appropriate response that jumps to mind would have been something like “How dare you speak to me in that way, who do you think you are, this is my home, I worked all night, leave here this instant and do not come back, you are not welcome.” ###### |
Hey everyone,
​
now I am in a bit of a tricky situation and don’t know how to handle it. My GF borrowed my almost new drone, because she wanted to make some short videos of her new sport activities for me.
I had previously given her a very detailed instruction on what to do and what NEVER to do at all like disabling the automated Anti-Crash system. Well, she disabled it, because with it on the drone will never go lover then 0,5m and she needed it to follow low.
While following her, the drone hit a bench at Full Speed, repair impossible, about 3.200€ to replace it.
Now here is the thing: She is not included in my drone Insurance and has non herself so she has to pay it from her own money. While her Job is not bad, that Money would take her savings of almost 2 years while my job pays way better and I save the sum up in 2-3 month depending on Workload.
I feel bad for having her loose all her hard earned money while it’s kinda nothing for me to pay it but on the other hand I don’t feel like I should have to pay for the damage I did not do.
I will probably decide by your answers what to do. ###### | NTA, technically she should do the right thing and reimburse you, but maybe offer to let her pay you back in installments?
If the money really is "nothing" for you to pay out of pocket and you wanted to be nice and not take all her savings she'd probably appreciate it but it really depends on whether you'd be comfortable with that. ###### |
I am trying to save a good emergency fund so I can move out of my parent’s house. My brother is 8 years old than me and more established in his career and everything—he wants to buy a house to live in with his fiancée. He knows I have an emergency fund saved (our family is pretty open about money + finances) and he came to me and he asked for $5,000 so he could have enough to make the down payment. I said it was an emergency fund and I didn’t want to delay moving out because it took a while to save up that money. He said it’s not a big deal and he can pay it back in two months. I said no again and he went and told our parents, and they said that I’m living in their house so I should pay my brother the $5,000 as rent to them back-dated. I said that we’d never talked about rent and this was being sprung on me and I don’t understand, if they want me to move out, why they want me to give up my emergency fund. I said that if he can’t afford the down payment then how is he going to pay for the house and they all groaned and rolled their eyes, my dad said “what have you been reading, money self help books?” And pointed out family helps each other. I would be happy to help if I thought I could give it up without missing it but I think I would, if he took the $5,000 I wouldn’t be able to afford to even pay my deductible for health insurance if I got hurt and my parents definitely aren’t paying for that. So AITA ###### | NTA, Take care of yourself first, really. The fact that they all groaned and rolled their eyes and mocked you for being fiscally responsible shows that you need to keep your money. Don't let them guilt you into it.
Especially if they aren't willing to help him themselves. ###### |
Throwaway because he knows my reddit. I (20M) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together for about a year now. I love him to death, but he never takes off sweatpants. He wore sweatpants to my best friend's wedding, to Easter, to Christmas, to meet my parents, to meet my grandparents, and he wears them for every date night out. It makes me feel crappy because I try to put effort into my appearance when we go out, and he never does the same. Every time I bring that up he gets angry at me.
Now that restrictions in our country are being lifted, we can go out to see friends and family again. Today, we were going to my parents' house to have lunch, and he, as usual, put on sweats. I pulled him aside, and said,
"Babe, can you please wear something nice to see my parents? I put in effort to my appearance to leave the house, and it would be nice if you did the same."
He then went off at me, calling me an asshole for trying to control how he looks, and says if I can't accept his "grunge aesthetic" then we can't be together.
I have nothing against sweatpants, but in my culture, it is considered taboo and inappropriate to wear sweatpants in most social situations (except the gym). Am I the asshole for wanting him to just put some effort into his appearance when we leave the house together? ###### | NTA, sweatpants just aren’t appropriate for some occasions. Like who the hell wears sweatpants to a wedding? ###### |
Alright so. Within the span of a few months of moving into our new house, with a generous three toilets for each family member, my mother has clogged her own toilet. And refused to unclog it. Or even make an attempt. She insists it's too far gone for her to deal with, but refuses to accept any help in fixing it, mine or a professional's.
Instead, she's been using my toilet. And clogging it. And then leaving it for me to find.
Today, at a wonderous 1:30 A.M, I attempted to use my toilet. Only to be abruptly snapped out of my sleepy daze when I felt toilet water rise and brush my asschecks. This is the fifth time she has done this and left it unattended for me to find, usually at some ungodly hour of the morning, not to mention stomping in and out of my room unannounced at all hours to use my toilet.
So, out of anger, I stomped into her room unannounced and had a pretty heated argument with her. She said she felt humiliated about clogging the toilet. I said she should grow up (which might have been a bit uncalled for, especially considering the hour.) She tried to insist I should just go downstairs and use my dad's toilet. Which he never cleans. And he cannot aim. There are sticky piss puddles down there. The cat's litterbox is in there too. It reeks.
I told her she picked a man who can't aim his own piss and if she needs to shit so bad she should be the one braving his pig-sty.
She's been telling all her friends about how I humiliated her in the middle of the night/berated her/etcetra as well as going on her guilt-trippy rants about how she's ""Apparently such a pig, wah wah wah, my son doesn't love me."" Despite me never having said anything of that sort. I just want to be able to pee without worrying about my mother's feces gently caressing my butthole
I'm aware this is really, really petty but quarantine has driven me insane, especially since my mother and father and I have such different views on what's considered clean. ###### | NTA, start locking your bathroom, tbh. But leave her access to a plunger and put a plumber's business card on the fridge. That shits gross, what the hell. Congratulations on being a more put together adult than your parents. ###### |
So my brother has been seeing this girl for about 5/6 years. For the past 4 they’ve lived with my parents and I’ve had the ~absolute pleasure~ of bearing witness to every single fight.
She buys the wrong brand of toilet paper? Screaming match where he berates her and calls her stupid. She forgets to tell him she picked up an extra shift? He calls her repeatedly at work and yells about what a lying cheating terrible person she is. And he cheats, anything walks by, he sleeps with it.
Well today she had enough. She left him saying that she makes him miserable (something he tells her even though she’s the most amazing sweet person ever) and she can’t do it anymore.
My parents don’t know the depth to the terrible entitled monster they raised, and said it was both of their faults and she could continue to live in the hues bedroom if she wanted. I pointed out to my mom that she doesn’t do any of the things he’s said and told her she could start apartment hunting with me.
Now my parents are telling me I should back up my brother and I shouldn’t be backing her, that I should support my brother and try to help him feel better. He’s a terrible monster, he degraded her and made her feel worthless. And on top of everything, he started her on coke.
So AITA for telling my parents he deserves what he’s getting and I hope he learns his lesson?
Edit: they support the apartment hunting idea, but think I should still do more to console my brother and make him feel like he didn’t do anything wrong, when in reality it was literally his fault. ###### | NTA, sounds like your brother got what he deserved. Good on you for recognizing his shitty behavior and calling him out on it ###### |
I'm married and have a 10yo son and a 11yo step-son. I don't have much of a relationship with my step-son's mom. I don't think she likes me. Fortunately, my son and step-son grew up together so they get along, go to the same school and hang out with the same friends. I went to go pick up my son from the park and my step-son was going to be picked up by his mom for the week. I didn't want to leave my step-son all by himself at the park so I stayed. His mom was suppose to be there at 4PM and it was already 4:30PM with no word from her. I tried calling, texting and emailing. Nothing. My husband on a plane so he wasn't going to pick up.
I ended taking both kids back to our house. Around 5PM, I get a call from my step-son's mom bitching at me over taking her son back home. I explained that we waited an hour and tried to contact her. I didn't want to leave him all by himself at the park. She said I had no right to do that and I should have moved mountains to get my husband on the phone to discuss. There had been a miscommunication between her and my husband as my husband - he was in a different timezone when they coordinated his pickup so he was off by an hour. She used that hour to go to a spa hence her unavailability. My messages got buried under other messages. She said she was scared that something happened to her only child and I should have contacted her again and it was an asshole thing to do. ###### | Nta, sounds like she’s unreasonably mad over a miscommunication ###### |
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