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LTL/FTP, throwaway acc cos family members know my main and I don't need the stress.
My husband and I are choosing baby names. We both have Scottish and Irish heritage -- several family members either having an anglicized version of a Scottish/Irish first name or surname.
We are strongly considering giving our child a Gaelic name. Our top three contenders if it's a girl are Saoirse, Ealasaid, and Marsaili. Two of the boys names we like are less difficult for an English speaker to pronounce -- Eamon and Seòras -- but the other one, Eoghan, might confuse some people.
I DO strongly believe we should give them an English-friendly middle name, think Ealasaid Rose (we haven't gotten that far yet lol), so that they have another name to fall back on if they need it. Husband is on board with this.
My MIL and my sister, however, think that this would be horribly cruel even with the middle name thing and insist we HAVE TO give them a "normal" first name -- Elizabeth instead of Ealasaid, for example. Neither me nor my husband like the way Elizabeth sounds (nor any of its diminutives), and the same goes for Sarah instead of Saoirse and Marjory instead of Marsaili (Marge just makes me think of the Simpsons). The same goes for the boy's names.
MIL has gone so far as to say she will call them by the English equivalent and will make Husband's younger siblings do the same. I told her that's a one-way ticket to No Visits Town, which she handled as well as you'd imagine.
So, WWBTA for giving our baby a Gaelic name? ###### | NTA. But just be prepared for you and your kid to always have to pronounce it for everyone until they die. ###### |
Ok let me elaborate. We had a baby recently and my boyfriend has an older son who has high functioning autism. Things in the household have been tense due to space being cramped and of course adjusting to a new baby.
One night, my boyfriend's son kept turning on the kitchen light while I was trying to keep the baby down because it was the middle of the night and I was sleeping in the living room. I thought he was done in the kitchen so I turned off the light. He wasn't done and got an attitude with me. I told him I was sorry, I thought he was done. He then made the comment "you and dad don't deserve that baby."
I don't believe in violence and I certainly don't condone child abuse but I had to resist the urge to smack that boy in the mouth. I told my boyfriend to talk to his son and he yelled at me not to tell him how to raise his child. I told him I wasn't trying to do that but that I shouldn't have to tolerate that kind of disrespect. He later told me to just ignore his son and while I see his point I still think he needs to tell his son not to talk to me that way.
I have the right to be a mother to my child in a non hostile environment. On top of this, his family save for his mom has done nothing but judge and criticize me while I'm learning to be a mom. I have PPD but I'm sure it was made worse by all this. So AITA? ###### | NTA. But it sure doesn’t seem like you’ve picked the right man to have a child with. ###### |
Freshman year of college I lived in a triple room with 2 other girls. Roommate 1 was nice and quiet not part of story. Roommate 2 was liked to party and go out. Typical college freshman behavior. Well Around the start of October and it’s 2 am. I hear her and her friend sneaking in didn’t think much of it not my business. Well her friend another freshman (male) starts screaming he wants his dad and starts basically sobbing and breaking down. I turn on lap to see what’s up as I’m awake by this point. Well they both dropped acid and he’s having a bad trip. He lays down in my bed shaking and I say I’m calling Police. My roommate yells at me saying she’ll get in trouble for having lsd on campus and if I was her friend I wouldn’t call. Well at this point I’m crying thinking a dudes about to die on my bed so I call cops. Kids fine and taken in hospital my roommate is given a write up by ra for drug use but that’s it. She moved out the next month and wouldn’t talk to me because I called police to help her friend. Atia for doing what I thought was right ###### | NTA. Better to have a guy get in trouble than having him be potentially dead in your house. Your roommate only cared about herself. ###### |
Everything I ever heard out of this woman was about the "Boren Clan" and how she's a "Proud Boren." Forget that she got married and took her husband's name, and her kids have the husband's name. It's all about the Boren clan.
So, when I had my kid, all I heard from her was this and that trait are from the "Boren Clan." It wasn't "Oh, look, THIS, just like dad" or "THIS, just like mom." It was "THIS, just like a Boren. The baby is a true BOREN." Anything that was not "Boren" she was confused on, because "That's not on my side." She would literally say "That's strange. I've never seen a Boren with freckles. Where could they have gotten that from?" My response of "Some in my side of the family have freckles," was met with "Really? That is weird. Boren's don't have freckles." I don't know if she's playing stupid or is genuinely confused on how genes work.
This has been going on for years and I kind of lost it this weekend. I essentially told her last time I checked, a child has two sets of genes: one from the mother and one from the father. But if she wanted to throw the grandparents, then there would be 4 sets of genes fighting for dominance. But at the end of the day the genes that matter are SO and MINE, and she needs to stop making it sound like my genes don't exist.
My SO found out and said I was mean in my response. But was I? Was I the asshole? ###### | NTA. Because, you know....science. ###### |
So I'm typing this on the hospital and I haven't actually asked him to split the bill yet. We were at a beach earlier and he tackled my when I wasn't looking (basically a boys will be boys incident except it was totally random. I didn't instigate him. I was sober. He was drunk. He tackled me from behind so I didn't have a chance to react. Compound fracture. Surgery tomorrow.
The pain is excruciating and he texted me saying that he was sorry and if there was anything he could do then ask. I have insurance through work but there's a copay that will likely cost $3,700. AITA if I ask him to split the bill? ###### | NTA. At all! I would go so far as to say that your friend is the asshole if he doesn't offer to pay at least half of your bill, since he was so reckless as to injure you unthinkingly. If he is truly a good person, he won't even kick up a fuss about your request. In a perfect world, he would pay your entire co-pay, so asking him to foot just half of the bill should not be a problem. ###### |
I just wanna say that I have nothing against this guy and I want to help him where I can. But as of lately, what I thought was a one off thing has turned into probably around 2 or 3 times a week now. This guy who happens to be disabled (visually impaired I believe) comes by my workshop and asks to use the toilet.
We only have one toilet available so it’s just common courtesy to keep it clean and hygienic.
He does his business and I go in about 30 mins later and find the toilet is an absolute mess. Shit all on the bowl and just stinks. He leaves as quick as he came in and I’m stuck with his artwork.
A few days later same thing, asks to use the toilet and because of his disability I allow him. Came back a bit later and it’s the same deal. Piss and shit everywhere.
Today he comes in again I allow it again. I assume he went for number 2 again because he was in there for a while. Bit cleaner this time but fkn stunk out the joint.
Now i personally wouldn’t go into some randoms shop/house and nuke their toilet. And I’m kinda at the stage of saying no to him now because I don’t know him (and it’s gross cleaning up after him). But I don’t want to be a dick and say no and he ends up soiling himself.
WIBTA if I stop the disabled guy from destroying my work toilet multiple time’s a week? Or is there a better alternative to this?
Edit: sorry I should’ve mentioned he is a random off the street. I see him walk around locally so I know of him, but don’t know him personally.
Also we only have 2 toilets, 1 male 1 female ###### | NTA. And you be up front with him. You tell him in no uncertain words that every time he uses your bathroom, he leaves it in a very unsanitary condition. Furthermore you are not obligated to let a stranger use your bathroom but you do so anyway. Tell him this in private but do not mince words. You are sicking of cleaning his artwork. ###### |
Hi, so today, I(16M) and my family was talking about something that can't be mentioned in this subreddit. I said that I wanted to say what I thought about that subject, and my sister started giggling about how I was going to say something stupid probably taken from a youtube video. My dad laughed with her and insinuated that I was going to say something dumb, and my mom said how she was going to see if I was her son, insinuating that she is smart. I really got offended since my whole family was saying that I was dumb, and I really don't think so. I have really bad grades since I started studying in Switzerland (in German), and that's my 4th language, so I get 3 and 4 out of 6 regularly. After that, I took my dishes, cleaned them and came to my room (I had already finished my dinner). Everyone says that I should come back and that was being rude. I am now in my room and I wonder, AITA here? P.S.: sorry for grammar errors, I'm not a native speaker.
​
Edit: 30 min later, my mom knocked and apologised, my sister was embarrassed and my dad didnt say anything. Thank you all for the advice! ###### | NTA. And if your family really are a-holes (I’m assuming what you’re not repeating is that they said something racist or similar), then the good news is that you’re already 16 and can get out of there soon enough. Keep your space from them now & work on your plan for the future. ###### |
AITA? Today husband was waiting for me in the car while I took my kid in or a dr appointment. While waiting, he needed to use the bathroom and decided to use my coffee cup to relieve himself. We both have reusable cups and mine was empty and his had a small amount of old coffee that he isn’t going to drink anymore. Also, dr office is a short walk away and would let him use the bathroom if he asked. Am I unreasonable I be pissed that he used my cup to piss in? No matter how much he cleans it, it just seems totally inconsiderate to use my stuff like that. ###### | NTA. And btw, that’s HIS cup now. He either gives you his (though not sure I would trust that now), or he buys you a new one. ###### |
I'm a young'un and live with my father and sister, we have two chihuahuas and I recently brought up how I was slowly teaching them the "quiet" command, where once they are barking and quiet down you give them the command "quiet" and a small treat, just to keep form excessive noise, because during the day they will bark until you intervene.
My da' is heavily against teaching them this command and says it goes against their natural instincts, he believes it's inhumane and wrong to teach them the "quiet" command, I reminded him it'd only be on command so they can still bark as a warning for intruders or knocking and such, but he insists that it's wrong to teach them. He says they "can't" be trained the command because they're too small or something along those lines. ###### | NTA. All dogs should be trained to be quiet on command. Your father is wrong on several counts. ###### |
My ex and I still have regular (almost daily) contact because of our daughter who just turned two. I spent most of our relationship wondering if we were even a couple. Coworkers would ask me and I’d tell them “as far as I know, we still are.” My family and my friends are not his biggest fans because of how he treated me during and after our relationship. He always spun things around to make them my fault, he pretty much went no contact with me once I was pregnant, he asked about my appointments and such but never asked how I was, never came to see me, didn’t hug or kiss me at all throughout the pregnancy. We spent nearly 2 years as a “couple” but only talked about our daughter. He’s berated me for my parenting choices (extended breastfeeding) and told me I’m just sensitive when he made jokes at my expense. Last week I went with him and our daughter on a short drive and he asked me if I’d ever thought about getting back together with him to which I responded “no” rather quickly. AITA for not being more kind about this? I wouldn’t get back with him either way, but I almost feel bad for possibly hurting his feelings. ###### | NTA. After your relationship, a quick no should get your point across. ###### |
So this past week my 8 year old daughter has been begging me to shave her head. This just started after her 17 year old cousin did it. I've always considered myself a supportive mom and let my kids do whatever they want (within reason of course)
She had extremely long, blonde, gorgeous hair just like I do. She was fully aware that I was going to support her decision, school was cancelled for the rest of the year and she won't go back to school until August (possibly September) so her hair will have time to grow out.
So last night, I got out my husband's clippers and shaved her head for her. She smiled the whole time and loved the end result.
The next day, I took a photo to send to my mom and only my mom. My mom decided to forward it to a bunch of other family members, who got back to me. 90% of them agree that I'm the asshole for not saying no to her and setting limits for her, and also told me that I'm setting her up for bullying.
Here's the thing - it's literally her hair will grow back. She knows. I asked her if she regretted it and she is extremely happy that she did it. As for bullying, she knows how to stand up for herself and that hair doesn't define her beauty.
I personally don't think I'm TA but I want to know everyone else's views on this. ###### | NTA. Additionally, good momming: you've shown your daughter a few good lessons:
1. Think long and hard before you make drastic changes.
2. Advocate for yourself.
3. Modern beauty standards are bad for self-esteem.
4. Consent is essential.
5. She's in charge of her own body.
6. Do what makes you happy.
7. Stand up to people who try to tell you how you should look/feel. You're in charge of that, not them.
8. Any change to yourself will piss someone off. That's their problem, not yours. ###### |
My daughter and I are on the same medication, same dosage. We take it at the same time every day (early afternoon) because of side effects. She is too young to carry it with her or remember to take it herself, so I carry it.
I don't particularly enjoy carrying a purse, so on days when I know we will be out when it's time to take meds, I will just bring one of the bottles (because I can fit one in my pocket comfortably), either mine or hers. I then add an extra pill from the other bottle when I get home to keep them even.
However, when I went to drop off my daughter at her dad's house, I accidentally brought the pill bottle with my name on it instead of hers. I told him that he could just use mine, no big deal, and that we both take pills from either bottle because again, it's the exact same medication and the exact same dosage. I would understand if he wasn't comfortable using my pill bottle because it isn't technically her prescription, but he lost it at me and accused me of stealing her meds and shuffling pills around to hide it. He thinks there is more of a risk for me to give her the wrong dose because I'm not keeping the pills separate. I think he's being ridiculous. One pill is one pill coming from either prescription bottle. I'm not going to somehow give her extra pills. Am I the asshole for having this system and for continuing with it because it makes my life easier? ###### | NTA. A pill is a pill is a pill. My husband and I both take the same medication and same dosage. When we travel we take one bottle and make up for it when we get home. I don't see why he's upset. ###### |
I watched my sisters kids yesterday so that she could go to what she called a 'hot tub party' I dont have kids of my own so im not 100% certain of what to do and she didn't leave me a list. She didnt answer any of my calls or texts and she payed me 5 dollars for 2pm to 11pm. I dont want to sound shallow because I'm fine with watching her kids for free but she said she'd pay me $30. The biggest problem is that i dont want to enable her. I think that if you have kids, that the part of your life where you have no cares and act like a college girl, should be over. And she does this all the time. At the same time, if shes going to do it, then someone needs to be there to watch the kids because it isnt their fault. ###### | NTA. A hot tub party during a pandemic? Even without the monetary thing your sister is a huge AH. ###### |
Hear me out.
For reference, my (23f) family is quite large. I was also quite large until I moved out at 18 and lost 65 lbs (29kg). I went from obese my entire life, to having a normal BMI and finally being healthy.
My older sister (27f, also severely obese) has a 2 year old son. He is currently 50 lbs (23kg). He has a hanging stomach and actual fat rolls.
I live in a different country than my family (I moved) so I don't see them often in person, but I see pictures on social media. Every picture it seems he is only getting bigger. Now that it's summer, they're posting pictures of him without a shirt on and you can just see how huge his stomach is and how he has back rolls. It breaks my heart and frustrates me because I know what it's like to grow up obese and how difficult it makes your life.
In almost every picture, he is eating some sort of junk food. Whenever they call me, they're giving him some candy/chips in the background. It seems they just feed him bad foods all day every day. I try to give them advice on nutrition but they don't want to hear it. They embrace the "I'll eat what makes me happy" lifestyle and know almost nothing of nutrition at all.
Finally, I kind of snapped and told them he's fat and they need to pay attention to his health. My mom and sister got so pissed off that they actually blocked me on social media and called me an AH for making fun of a 2 year old. I didn't mean to make fun of him, I just care for his health since I know how the extra weight can bring you down both physically and mentally. Also I of course did not call a 2 year old fat to his face as it's not even his fault that he's obese, it's the adults fault.
What do you guys think? AITA? ###### | NTA. 50lbs on a two year old is ridiculous. There's a difference between baby fat and fat fat.The parents may be content with an obese lifestyle, but they shouldn't be encouraging all those potential health problems when he's too young to understand the potential consequences. Continued enabling will surely only make it harder for the child to maintain his weight in the future through no fault of his own.
Edit: Just to be clear, I am specifically referring to normal 24-month-olds and am not speaking in reference to children with medical conditions. Given OP's edit, I stand by what I said initially in this specific case. ###### |
So school is online at the moment so we use zoom. We have to have our webcam and microphone on at all times unless we ask to turn it off. Well I(15M) was in class and I had my door open. Well my sister(20F) walks by my door in short shorts and a sports bra. She is in her own house no big deal. Well she was in the frame of my camera for a second and my friends being them dmed me on zoom heart eye emojis. So I just played it off like nothing happened well then she walks right into my door frame and was about to ask me a question but I slammed the door on her face and locked it. Once I got out of class I apologized saying I was trying not to get 20 15 years olds to see you dressed like that. She was still really mad at me. ###### | NTA. “Sis, it was either slam the door, or know that 25 horny 15 year olds were fapping to you tonight. You choose.” ###### |
My (30f) husband (33m) loves tennis. I’ve had 2 failed pregnancies, first one was last year (bad heart at 19 wks), second one was yesterday (10 wk embryo stopped developing). So I need to go to the hospital tomorrow afternoon to have the tissue removed. My husband asks if he can play tennis in the morning since it’s a nice day. He will still drive me to the procedure. Context: last time I lost a pregnancy at 19 weeks, he played golf the day after we got the bad news. I’ve since then told him I wish he hadn’t done that and I don’t want him to play tennis this time. My reason? This is crushing for me. This is not/should not be a happy time for us. No he cannot go out and have fun. It’d be like if his granny died and I asked can I go to the spa. Don’t make me suffer alone. So I said no to tennis this time and he still wants to that he asked me again and again. I’m at my wits end. I’m about to have something taken out of my body and am I the asshole for not wanting my husband to go out and enjoy his favorite hobby? ###### | NTA.
I had a D&C last months at 12 weeks (trisomy 18) and my husband stuck by me the whole time. I had to take misoprostal the morning of the procedure and basically spent the car ride as a nauseous, sad ball of cramping. I might have had a lot of difficulty driving and it takes several hours to arrive at the hospital on time.
I understand if he is using sports to manage his emotions but FFS there’s a time and place. Right before your wanted pregnancy is terminated is not the best fucking time especially if your partner has requested it and needs you there.
Edit. I can’t believe some of these comments saying OP is the ah because “she’s trying to make her husband miserable”. My husband had an emergency appendectomy and I had just come off of a 12 hour graveyard shift straight to the ER. I didn’t even think about fucking off right before his surgery to get some much needed food or sleep let alone to play a fucking game. ###### |
Throwaway, don’t want to be harassed by prolifers.
Had an abortion last February. Birth controlled failed, we both didn’t want to be parents.
It got brought up the other day and he was like “yeah Linda was shocked you had one.” (his mom) and I was really confused why he told his ultra conservative mom about it?
When I told him it made me uncomfortable that he told his family without telling me he said it wasn’t a big deal.
Here’s where I might be an asshole. I said it’s not his medical procedure to disclose in the first place and given it’s something people are heavily opinionated on I don’t think it’s fair he talked about it without telling me first, I told him I understand if he needed to vent about it but at least give me a heads up I guess? Especially to super pro life people I see for holidays? I haven’t told anyone in my family and I only told one of my friends who was curious about them. it’s just uncharted territory I guess. But he didn’t say sorry and said he didn’t see the big deal. I asked him if he regrets it or is upset by it and he literally says “no I don’t care, it just came up naturally”
AITA? I literally have no idea. ###### | NTA.
How could your boyfriend even think it is “not a big deal”? I realise given both your families religious beliefs, it wasn’t an easy decision for you to make... and am sorry you had to go through this.
Your boyfriend is a massive AH for telling his family without consulting you first. ###### |
I live with a family member who will ask me the same question over and over because "people change their minds" and they're checking to make sure I haven't changed mine. When I get angry and explode over it, they get angry back and call me "ungrateful" because someone loves me enough to be concerned about me but I give them shit for it and don't appreciate it. They accuse me of not having the basic courtesy and respect to answer the question they are asking, even IF they've asked it already. Each day, there are at least 3-4 things about which I am asked repeated questions and it leads to us constantly tense and arguing.
For example, we got takeout and there were leftovers. I explained that I was not going to eat them because I didn't like the food so they could have them or throw them out. The next day, they ask me if I'm going to eat them and I say no again. That evening, they say they didn't eat the leftovers because they left them for me to have the next day. I get mad (and admit I might yell) that I already said I wasn't going to eat them. Next day, I am asked again if I am sure I won't eat them and so on.
Another example is when they go grocery shopping and want to do my grocery shopping for me. I say no and explain I want to go myself to pick out my own food. They'll ask several times that day. Then, they won't go that day in case I'll have a different answer the next day. They'll ask several times Day 2. Sometimes, they accept no and go grocery shopping for themselves. Other times, they wait to go until Day 3 in case I'll change my mind on Day 3.
It drives me up the wall to have to answer the same question numerous times because someone won't accept my answer. I FEEL like an asshole because I know that they're asking me because they care. However, it's DAILY with MULTIPLE things I am re-asked about. ###### | NTA.
the person isn't concerned about your wants, their objective is is for you to do what they want. it's super obnoxious.
first repeat: "I've already answered that question."
second repeat: "You asked me that twice already, maybe you should get your hearing checked."
third repeat: "I'm concerned with how much you seem to be forgetting things. I think this is something to bring up with your doctor." "We've already talked about this. do you need me to make that doctor's appointment for you?"
do it every time.
edited formatting ###### |
This is my first post on this subreddit so here goes nothing.
Hey I’m a (18M) and never had dated before. Never even kissed a girl. Haha embarrassing right? My mom absolutely forbade me from dating in highschool saying “focus on grades, not girls.” I went along with this notion and did pretty well for myself.
Now I have wrapped up my first year of college and have witnessed three of my crushes end up with boyfriends and can honestly not take the heartache anymore. I want to start dating.
I’m a premed major and my classes take a lot of time and effort but I feel like I can add a girlfriend into the mix and do fine. My mother doesn’t want me to and believes I should keep “close friends “ and after undergrad I could ask one of these “close friends “ if I want to date.
I want to ask out this girl who is in my major but don’t want to be viewed as a “bad son” for having a secret girlfriend.
What makes it worse is that my older sister attends the same small university I do and if she saw me with a girlfriend she would tell my mom about it.
TLDR: WIBTA if I got a girlfriend behind my mother’s back? ###### | NTA.
Date the girl. As long as you can balance it and you feel ready, do it. Your mother should not have this much control of you as an adult. And base on the fact that she just want you to "keep them as close friends then choose them after" makes me feel like she either completely forgot how dating works, or never had to date anyone ###### |
I raised 3 kids pretty much on my own. When my oldest was 17, she got pregnant and had a baby boy that she was no way ready to care for (her words). I adopted him and have been raising him on my own. I had talked to her about birth control and safe sex in the past, but this time I made sure to actually get her on birth control. She moved out and over the years my other biological children did as well. Then when my daughter was 22 she got pregnant again. This time, she claimed she wanted to raise the child and tried, but eventually felt too overwhelmed and asked me to take him. I adopted this child and have been raising him. She still sees the boys a lot, they know she’s their bio mom, but that I’m raising them.
Since then my daughter has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and has been in and out of treatment. Last year, she (then 25) got pregnant again. I told her that I could not raise another child. Financially, emotionally, etc., I’m drained. I said that she needed to decide whether she was ready or to give the baby up to someone else (she told me when it was too late to abort). She tried to convince me otherwise, to at least help her raise the baby and I said no. She ended up giving the baby up for adoption and I never met him nor do I have contact, because I knew I’d get attached.
My daughter still resents me for this. She has an open adoption with the child and is doing a bit better herself but says that she wishes I had helped her more. She has guilted me at every turn and made me seriously wonder if I did the wrong thing. ###### | NTA.
> says that she wishes I had helped her more
You've adopted and are raising two of her children, how much more "help" does she expect?! ###### |
I got a Johnny Walker black label I usually share with people that don't like whiskey or wanna mix it with coke.
I currently live overseas so I only have a couple of bottles of a bourbon I particularly like. It's very expensive where I live and I don't know when I'll be able to go back to the States to get more.
WIBTA if I tell my friend she can't have my bourbon if she mixes it? ###### | NTA. "I have JW if you're mixing, Maker's if you want it neat." Perfectly reasonable. And anyone complaining about JW Black as a mixer is nuts.
If you felt the need to be even more generous, a basic bourbon is going to be better for matching the flavor, but since you're not in the states I know that's not necessarily easy. ###### |
My (18f) boyfriend (21m) has been struggling with money recently due to quarantine. His hours at work were cut so he’s having trouble keeping up with rent and bills. Recently, my parents offered to help him. He was reluctant to accept help at first but eventually accepted $400 and was able to get through the month with that extra money.
Now, 2 weeks later he’s asking for $350 more. He’s saying he’ll pay it back to my parents, but what irks me is he’s asking for this money so he can change the exhaust on his car to make it louder. I completely blew up at him because in my eyes he’s taking advantage of my parents’ generosity and asking me to lie to them if they ask what he’s spending it on, as he knows they wouldn’t give him the money if they knew he was spending it on something he didn’t really need. His argument is that he’s going to pay the money back, so it shouldn’t matter.
AITA? ###### | NTA. You boyfriend is absolutely taking advantage of your parents. Think about whether this is the type of man you want to be with. ###### |
AITA? My Niece, 9, is addicted to her smart phone. Everyday whenever I see her, she is I glued to it (tiktok and games) for hours.
We are very close, she lives next door, and we do a ton of stuff together (kayaking, Minecraft). We are good friends, and I try to be the cool uncle but I often take a father role as well, as hers sadly is a pos that has 0 to do with her life.
Today, was the same of her hiding inside on her phone while everyone else is outside. I asked my sister if she wants me to set a screen time limit. She said yes, and told me 3 hours. I did.
My Niece is upset at this and is pouting in silence.
I tell her it’s no big deal, 3 hours is plenty of time, and it means more time for fun and doing real stuff. She then gives me the nastiest glare I’ve ever seen from her and lunges her head forward almost threatening.
At this moment, I took her phone and said, “excuse me? I don’t think so. Maybe you need this taken away for awhile.”
Well then she immediately bursts into tears and my grandmother says to me “you’re a bully”.
She admittedly did not see the glare. My sister who also did not see it piles on, and consoles her daughter while telling me I’m out of line.
For clarity I pay for and supply the phone.
I then tell them they are reinforcing negative behavior, undermining me and that taking away a phone is not cruel. Well I died on that hill, and I’m still pulling of chunks of tar and feathers. AITA? ###### | NTA. The cellphone is one of the most addictive devices ever invented; the reaction you got is common. The true AH here is your sister for bad parenting and not backing you up when she asked you to limit your niece's screen time in the first instance. ###### |
Residential zoned area, less than .5 acre property, zoning ordinance limits max of 4 dogs, noise ordinance specific for dogs.
Neighbor moved in with 3 dogs, now has 11 (all ages, diff breeds). Dogs barking from 5am-11:30pm.
We told her nicely about the noise but she refuses to do anything. Smell from feces is unbearable.
We filed complaint with Zoning Dept. Neighbor now is mad that she has to give up some of her dogs.
Are we assholes because we don't want a 'kennel' next door to our home with 11 dogs that bark constantly all day? ###### | NTA. She knows what she did was illegal. Keep an eye on her. She’s going to break the laws again. You can be sure of it. ###### |
Me (f22) and my fiancé (m23) are getting married in 2 months and have difficulty securing a rental property in this economy.
We found a perfect two bedroom home with a garden and a driveway for a affordable price in the city. We rang the number on the ad and was put through to this woman, from the start she seems unbothered and very dismissive like she wanting to get us off the phone and generally unhelpful. She took our details verbally and said she would get in contact with the landlord with our and get back to us.
A week goes by and nothing, we were pretty keen on the property so we called for a update and she said she will send us a email to fill out (asking about our income and such)... like wtf why didn’t we do this when we first called. We filled it out and sent it to her within 10 mins. 3 weeks go by and nothing again, no update or anything. Very annoyed at this point we requested to deal with another staff member who called us back within 30 mins and told us the landlord accepted another offer.
Honestly I really felt like she wasted our time, so I looked online for her boss’s email and sent him a very upset email about the unhelpfulness and rudimentary service we received from her, I expressed it has really dampened our first impressions of the company as a young couple.
I received a email back the next day apologising and he even showed me very similar properties on the same street and said If we was interested he’d personally deal with it.
We rang up today interested and found out she has been dismissed and the person we are currently dealing with said they will help us as much as he can if we promise not to send a email to his boss loool.
So AITA for essentially getting her dismissed. ###### | NTA. She got herself dismissed, you didn't do that. There's no reason that people should expect their bad job performance to go unnoticed and unreported. At the risk of sounding corny, that's one of the things that keeps commerce running. And she did clearly **know** she was doing a bad job with you, as you complained multiple times and she didn't even apologize or try to fix it. ###### |
I own a house and recently rented a room to an acquaintance, we’ll call them Sam. COVID happened, they lost their job, but I’m “essential” so I’m still working, meaning they’re at home all day with my pets- 3 cats and a dog.
When Sam first considered moving in, I introduced them to all of the pets and said that you really have to be an animal lover to live with this gang. They’re all rescues and the dog is a 70 pound boxer/pit mix who has tons of energy and wants to be with people all the time. Not a dog you can just toss in the backyard and ignore. Sam assured me they love animals.
Since moving in, Sam has been super weird about the pets- slamming the door shut so the dog can’t greet them, shoving him away when he approaches, leaving him out in the backyard unsupervised, etc. This dog loves people, but Sam so openly dislikes him that I feel like I have to keep him in my bedroom with me whenever I’m home, so I’m no longer using 2/3s of my own house and the dog’s separation anxiety is through the roof. Sam is similarly weird with all of the cats except one, who they keep locking in their room so that the cat scratches up the carpet and meows until I let him out in the middle of the night.
Sam hasn’t been able to pay rent since moving in, which I was flexible about, given the circumstances. But they aren’t eligible for unemployment and haven’t been actively job hunting or picking up extra hours at their side hustle(they actually decreased their hours), so I don’t know how long it’ll be before they can pay rent again. They’re on a month-to-month lease, so I can end it whenever I want to with appropriate notice.
I don’t expect everyone to be an animal lover and I keep my dog under control when around people who don’t want him in their face, but I’m getting tired of feeling like the pets and I can’t relax in the house.
WIBTA If I end their lease after just a few months? ###### | NTA. Just know that if you terminate the month to month and he doesn’t leave, many jurisdictions are not allowing evictions, so you’d likely have to continue living with him for at least a few months, and that could end up being really awkward and unpleasant. ###### |
I made some BOMB ass Mole Verde for my mom on Mother's Day (Family Recipe) and I had enough left over to bring to work with me. I decided to ask some of my coworkers if they wanted to try it. They LOVED IT! Yay!
One of my coworkers is notorious for calling herself the "Whitest Mexican Girl" because she makes "traditional Mexican food from scratch" (It's not traditional or Mexican) and asked if she could have the recipe. I told her I'd have to ask my grandma for permission to share but probably not.
I get a text from her later that night saying she had an allergic reaction to my Mole and she needs to know exactly what was in it so she can figure out what she's allergic to.... She also asked for me to bring more so she could try it again to confirm that it was in fact my food that gave her the allergic reaction...WTF?!
We do potlucks all the time so we're all aware of allergies and she's NEVER mentioned being allergic to ANYTHING in the 3 years I've been working with her. I'm convinced this is just a charade to get my gmas recipe and I had to beg my gma to teach ME! ###### | NTA. How bizarre of her. I would just google some generic mole recipe and send her that just so she stops talking about it. Maybe tell her that she should ask her doctor for a referral to an allergist. ###### |
I'm working at home now taking calls about people's loans. I got a call from some woman asking some info about her payment history and then requested a copy. So I said I'd send her a full payment report. And then *click click* "Done"
Silence for a bit. And the she asked "Are you sending it?"
I told her I just did. And then she got a little irritated. "That's it?" she said in an irritated tone.
"Yes, I already sent it." She then said "what's with your attitude?"
I said everything in a very neutral tone so I was confused. I simply said "Everything is done. Do you have any more questions?"
She then ranted at me a bit about how I was apparently acting cocky because I did that "too quickly" and easily. So I simply explained to her that it takes only a few clicks to email the info she had requested. And then she screamed "that's not the point!" and screamed a bit more and swore at me before hanging up.
All I did was send her the info she requested in a quick manner. I'm confused. So am I an asshole? ###### | NTA. A lot of people are short-tempered nowadays. Don't lose any sleep over it. ###### |
I’m 16 years old and very open with my parents about sex. My mom often likes to have boyfriends and my dad loves it. I’m great with that. My mom invites a dude over, I go to stay at my boyfriends house.
I’m very uncomfortable around adult men for various reasons. Even my mothers collection of guys make uncomfortable comments about me sometimes. It makes me feel sick inside.
Recently she brought up having a live in boyfriend someday. I told her I’m 100% not ok with having another adult man in the house. I figured it was a decent request telling her to put it off for two years until I go to college. I don’t want to constantly be uncomfortable in my own house. I’d feel I’d have to dress covered up, lock my own door at night, and basically hide away constantly to protect myself.
She says I have no rights to call the shots as a minor. She resents me at the moment, and thinks I’m being completely unreasonable. I can understand her point of view but I can’t help but feel I have the right to comfort. I’m honestly so scared at the idea but I feel really guilty for hindering this. ###### | NTA.
You have every right to be comfortable in your own home. ###### |
She snapped me late last night. My "friend." She asked if I would get a letter notarized for her. I thought it was a strange request, because I live in Colorado and in this state the signature must match the ID presented.
I asked her to elaborate on the letter. She said the letter said I am the landlord and her boyfriend lives on my property.
First of all, I'm not a landlord and her boyfriend doesn't live on my property because I don't own property.
Backstory: she lives in public housing and the housing authority found out that her boyfriend lives with her. To prevent eviction, she had to submit letter today that stated her boyfriend lives elsewhere.
She basically asked me to perjure myself. I said no.
But if she was a true friend, she would never have asked me this. Am I right?
I'm angry with her. I don't feel sorry for her. And I do hope she gets evicted.
And I feel like the asshole! ###### | NTA.
Her request was for you to commit fraud. Decent people don't ask others to commit fraud so they can cover up their own illegal activities.
Don't write anything for her, and seriously reconsider your "friendship;" it sounds more like you're an accessory than a friend to her. ###### |
Today, my dad decided to pick up Popeyes for lunch today. He asked me(16) and my sister (12) and my mom if we wanted chicken. I said yes, my mom said yes, but my sister said she wasn’t hungry, no. So my dad decided to get fries and 10 chicken wings.
Fast forward to when there was one chicken left. I took it, and started eating. My sister ate more than half of the fries and one whole chicken wing after saying she wasn’t hungry. So she asked me if she could have the wing, but I said no, she had a bunch of fries, and a wing after saying she didn’t want any. So I have her a generous amount of chicken. She ate it, but still got mad at me for not giving her the whole chicken.
She called me a “greedy swine”, and cursed me out in front of my parents, and stormed away. AITA? ###### | NTA.
Your sister was unnecessarily rude, and your dad should know better than to actually think your sister wouldn’t want any once he brought it home. ###### |
She’s my father’s daughter, and was born shortly before the start of the pandemic. The pandemic isn’t why I’m not visiting, rather due to the lack of a relationship with my father.
My parents divorced when I was very young, and my dad played the whole ‘I’ll make plans to come visit you, but never show up’ game for years - about up to the time of me being around 13. I was very upset with him when he tried actually popping into my life during my early teens, and told him I was disowning him.
After a few years of him weathering me down, I’m in a somewhat cordial relationship with him now. He messages me ceaselessly with “Good morning Beautiful” and “Hi princess” (which makes me feel uncomfortable because guys trying to get in my pants say stuff like that, not my dad ew), and gets very upset and accusatory whenever I don’t message him back.
Now he’s had a daughter, and desperately wants me to visit her. Only problem is that I don’t see him as a dad and whatever blood me and that kid share is akin to being from a blood donation in my mind. He’s basically some annoying weirdo trying to guilt trip me into having a bond with him, and despite me bringing it up several times he just doesn’t realize that he has to actually put effort into forming a bond.
(Guilt trip level like 100, accusing me of turning my back on my family and history and of hating him and blah blah blah. )
So, AITA for not visiting my “sister”.
Pandemic stay at home not withstanding, because that’s not the reason I’m not visiting. ###### | NTA.
You have absolutely no obligation to visit what essentially I'd call a sperm donor.
He's trying to force you to bond with your half sister as a way to somehow relieve his own guilt of how useless a Father he was.
Honestly I'd block him and move on with your life and ignore any guilt trips. ###### |
As you can guess from the title, this is an unbelievably stupid argument I’m having with one of my friends.
I am (16F). I’m currently doing all my schoolwork at home and I did all my stuff on time and I’ve been relaxing this weekend. One of the pieces this week we had to do this week was a small essay for my history class as we’ve just been studying the slave trade.
The subject of it is really fascinating to me and it’s led to conversations in my friend group about race. The friend this post is about is Frank (16M). He is mixed race, his parents are black and white. He had some stories about how some of his ancestors were in the slave trade. No issue talking about it because I think it’s important.
We were talking on a zoom call about race. He talked a lot about black people and I started talking about my background. My mom is white American and my dad is Mexican. He calls himself brown and ive inherited most of his dark features and I feel I’m mixed race. I happened to say that to Frank whilst we were talking about race and he got really mad at me.
He said I didn’t get to call myself mixed race because I’m not in his eyes. He then accused me of being racist and attempting to whitewash the struggles his people have gone through. I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong but he called me an inconsiderate AH and told me not to talk to him again until I “educate” myself on what race is.
It really upset me and I went crying to my dad. He said that technically I wasn’t wrong, I am mixed as my dad isn’t white. He said Frank is probably just upset due to the history period we’re studying and he’s got very heated about it. I think maybe I shouldn’t have said I was mixed race to Frank.
AITA? ###### | NTA? You are mixed race. What your friend might be thinking of is colorism, or discrimination between skin tones of a race. ###### |
My older sister (17f) goes out at around 9-11pm almost every night to go "get groceries" when, in reality, she just goes to buy herself multiple bags of clothes and snacks and brings back very limited groceries (like a gallon of milk or orange juice). She'll buy the clothes with her money about half the time and she uses my mom's card the other half. My mom definitely spoils her more than me and my twin sister.
Every time she gets home, she honks the horn over and over and over. She will do this for over 30 minutes until either me, my twin sister, or my parents come out to help her. She usually doesn't even have more than 4 bags so I don't understand why she always "needs" help.
She doesn't send a text or anything. She just honks the horn. My mom has told her numerous times to stop doing it because her and my twin sister have anxiety and the sudden honking can easily push them over the edge. It also wakes up people, like me, who like to go to bed earlier. I told my mom last time that I wasn't going to help her next time she did this. My mom was fine with this. I also told my older sister and she replied with "Yeah, ok then" and rolled her eyes.
Tonight at around 9:30pm, she arrived home from the store and started honking again. I was in the living room (not sleeping, just scrolling through reddit) when she scared the crap out of me by honking again. I followed through with what I said last time and didn't move. My parents and sister also decided to do the same thing, but they were on the other side of the house. I watched as she brought in three bags. Three. Bags. THREE. She literally brought them all in in one trip.
She is currently yelling at me for not getting up to help her since I had nothing else better to do. I'm a (wo)man of my word. COULD I have helped? Yeah. Did I want to? NOPE! So AITA? ###### | NTA? Do you have neighbors? Your sister seems like a nightmare. ###### |
Girlfriend is upset with me because I (photoshop artist) won’t photoshop “imperfections” out of her images. (Make her skinnier, remove acne, etc)
I think she is beautiful the way it is and photoshopping these images is wrong and most likely not good for her mental health. ###### | NTA? Ask her to use facetune like everyone else lmao. She'll never be happy with herself if she's lying about herself either though. ###### |
I have a dog, she's 6. And very healthy. Potty trained. So she never makes any messes. Unless I'm gone for long hours which is understandable. When you gotta go, you gotta go. I clean it up. No big deal.
I walk her 3 times a day. Morning. Afternoon. Evening. So she can use the bathroom and get a lil bit of exercise.
There's a girl who runs her own dog-sitting business. I asked her to watch my dog for a 2 days while I went out of town.
I gave her paper with instructions. Its something a 10 year old could do. It said "Walk her 3 times a day, mornings, afternoons and evenings." I also left 4 small bags of her doggy food. 2 for one day, and 2 for the next day, (breakfast and dinner). Only 2 of thoe bags were used....
Fast forward to when I get back home. I come home to the scent of urine and feces. Everywhere. There's shit in the kitchen. There's shit in the bathroom. Shit in my bedroom. There's shit in the shit. And paw prints of urine everywhere. You get the picture. Its clear and obvious that she did not walk my dog at all. Not even once.
I was mad about the urine and feces everywhere. But im even more mad at the fact that she neglected my dog. She called me to ask when she can pick up her money. I told her I'm not paying her at all for the shitty "job" she's done. Her excuse? "I was busy with homework". I hung up the phone.
I rated her website a one-star and a negative review. She tried calling me again. My friend is saying I'm being harsh, and I should at least give her some money. For what? She did nothing. How hard is it to feed and walk a dog? How lazy do you have to be?
I dont think im being harsh. I'm being fair. She didn't do the job she was *HIRED* to do.
If im TA, tell me so I can make it right.
TL;DR: Dog sitter didn't walk my dog. Urine and feces everywhere, didn't feed her well either. ###### | NTA!
Glad you were only gone for 2 days!
Your poor dog.
I don't know why people advertise services, don't complete the service and then still expect to be paid and then get mad.
Good on you for leaving the negative review. I hope she learns a lesson from this. ###### |
I (17f) have an uncle (17m). I've never viewed him as an uncle since he's the same age as me.
Now the little shit finds it hilarious to address me as niece whenever we meet and insists that I call him uncle. Family is very meh about it but mostly on his side. "You address your other uncles as uncles, why not him? He's your grandfather's son as well, he deserves that title from you just as much as Uncle X,Y and Z do". Except Uncles X,Y and Z are all around my mother's age, so 20-30 years older than me, not the same age.
He really put on the waterworks the last time, and now I'm really the asshole for making him feel left out by not calling him "uncle" and not responding when he says "niece". I've been disinvited from a few family gatherings because I refuse to bow down.
Well, in order to get on some of my family's good side I posted a family pic taken on my birthday. In the caption I said thank you to Aunties X,Y,Z and Uncles X,Y,Z. Except this time I put him as an uncle. I thought this would tide them over since captioning him as an uncle is easier for me than calling him uncle to his face. My close friends know my family dynamics, but the people I don't really know well? They genuinely thought we were cousins of some sort.
When I put him as uncle, people kinda went crazy. At first they kept saying I accidentally put him as an uncle and when I didn't reply he started getting messages like "omg is OP really your niece?" and "so OP's grandpa is your dad?", "all of your siblings are like in their 40s".
Yeah I basically blew up his entire friend group with that one pic. He's not talking to me and is pretty pissed. ###### | NTA!
r/maliciouscompliance is funny!
You did exactly what he told you to do. He shouldn't be mad..!
The tables have turned. ###### |
2 days ago I made a cake and invited 2 of my friends to come over to my house. They asked me if the cake is vegan before they started eating. I told them that it is. After they ate it they told me they loved it and would love me to send them the recipe. When I sent it to them on our group they got so mad at me (the recipe apparently included a cacao powder that is non vegan) that they kicked me out of the group then told everyone on social media how cruel I am for intentionally feeding them non vegan food and blocked me on all social media platforms. They haven’t talked to me since that day and I am receiving horrible messages from some vegans. I honestly didn’t do this on purpose. It just didn’t cross my mind that the cacao powder will be non-vegan. I wanted to tell them it was a mistake but I couldn’t because they blocked me everywhere. AITA or did they overreact? ###### | NTA!
How is coco powder not vegan? First... as someone who is plant based, these kind of ego Uber progressive vegans can fly a kite... a vegan one.
Most cocoa powder is vegan, and the ones that have a small amount of dairy is not enough to make them think they are sick...
I would not consider these smug arses friends, we’ve all seen and heard of these kind of smug vegans before, they don’t represent the masses and would be shunned from the general vegan community. ###### |
Okay, so, this is an ongoing thing now dating back to my pregnancy with our baby (1). My husband likes to leave and go do his own thing, which is fine; he needs a break. Parenting is hard and we already have a 5 year old.
The problems:
-the day after we brought our baby home from a very traumatic birth (I hemorrhaged and almost died) my husband left to go to the next town over and was gone for hours.
-I had postpartum depression. He constantly left me home by myself with both of our kids for hours. He was never affectionate and just acted like he didn’t like me and our family anymore.
-he lied to me. A lot.
-he still leaves to go do things on his own for hours at a time. He offers to take us sometimes but our baby can’t hang out that long and he knows it, but he isn’t willing to leave when he’s tired and he also won’t carry the baby (25 lbs) so I have to hold him for hours while standing up.
-he says he can’t watch the kids for me to do anything on my own. The few times he has had our baby, the baby acts like he doesn’t know who he is, for good reason. He only knows his mom and brother honestly. I’ve caught him being too rough with the baby before too. He also pops him already which I do NOT think he’s old enough for.
-I haven’t even got to take a shower by myself in a year. I always have to bring the baby in with me.
So we occasionally argue about this stuff because sometimes I bring it up and it makes him feel bad so he leaves. AITA for being upset and bringing it up to him? ###### | NTA!!!!! so what exactly *does* he do??? doesn’t sound like much of a father or partner to me. ###### |
My brother can't drive because he gets seizures. I drive him wherever he goes. He wants me to drive him to a protest nearby, but it got really out of hand last night with people being maced and dragged out of their cars and being beaten by cops. He wants to take video as legal evidence in case protestors get arrested, so he'll bring a 360° camera.
I told him that I wouldn't be driving him because it's unsafe, and he got irritated and said he'd rather I drive him than him getting into an Uber with a stranger. I told him that it's my car and I don't have to do what he says, and he told me that if I'm preventing him from doing the right thing then I'm complicit in white supremacy. AITA? He doesn't have any friends he can bum rides off of. ###### | NTA!!!!! It's getting seriously out of hand. I wouldn't solely because i would fear for my family's lives. There are a lot of people getting attacked. Especially people with cameras ###### |
Pretty much I’m a senior in college [22F] and have no prospects of a love interest. I have always wanted to have kids and have a family ever since I was little. My mom [50F] keeps pressuring me to find someone and have kids so I can give the family grandkids. I keep telling her that quite frankly I don’t really want to bring kids into this world because I don’t want to bring them up on a dying planet. She says that I need to stop pretending to be environmentally friendly. She thinks I am who I was in high school. She doesn’t understand that I have been away at college for 4 years growing and changing my mindset. I keep reminding her that I am more than willing to adopt kids when that time comes around because I would still love to have a family but not bring more people onto this planet. I would love to give children that don’t have a chance, a chance. She constantly gets furious and insults me and says i’m pretending to love the Earth and need to stop saying these things. At the end of the day I know it’s my own body and my own choices but I just don’t understand what her issue is. Is she really that against not having grandchildren that are blood related? Or does she really thing I’m pretending? ###### | NTA!!!! You are doing what is best for you AND the planet! I hate when people try to pressure women into being incubators for them. DO NOT HAVE KIDS BECAUSE SHE TELLS YOU TO! Just do you and make yourself happy. ###### |
Little back story... my wife is a bartender and is working cut hours right now. She’s works with this guy we’ll call Jim.
One day hanging out at home she thinks who she believe is Jim. Goes to work the next day, finds out it was indeed him and he lives in our complex. So she gives him a ride home because he doesn’t have a car, they stop at specs on the way home. Upon coming home I look out the window to see her walking with jim to his building across the street. She says she’s going to meet his gf. Turns out she is asleep and the guy just wanted to drink and chill. Which I was NOT cool with. Fast forward and this happens a couple more times. I’ve let her know I’m not okay with this, I don’t know him and I’m sick of this guy asking you to hang out.
Now it’s last night, she’s about to get off and I see her on find my friends driving around a random parking g lot after work, then specs, and Then she text me and says she’s off taking him back to his hotel... he doesn’t live in our complex anymore? He’s at a hotel now? So now I’m pissed. She gets there and I see that she stops the car and goes inside. For 10 minutes or so. Let the fighting begin.
AITA for getting my at my wife continually giving a guy a ride home and then going into his hotel after I told her I didn’t like it? ###### | NTA!!!! My fiancé and I have both been bartenders for a long time and we alllllllll know what these types of work relationships lead to which are all too common in that industry. Getting food after work then continuing to drink together? Nothing good can come of it and that is not how a committed spouse behaves. ###### |
Obligatory throwaway so men don’t message me about my tits on my regular account + I’m on mobile, so sorry if formatting is weird.
So, the other day one of my flatmates (with whom I have, up until this point, had neither a positive nor negative relationship with) sent me this long text that started with “we need to talk about the laundry situation.” This was a bit confusing, since I wasn’t aware of any particular laundry situation. The rest of the text was her telling me that I need to keep my bras out of the laundry room because apparently, when she had her boyfriend over, he went in there and saw my bras hanging up to dry on the drying rack, and was so shocked?intrigued?whatever that he checked the fucking tags (I have no idea if this is normal male behavior, but it creeped me out to read) to see the size, and then “wouldn’t stop talking about it.”
I responded with, basically, “then tell your boyfriend to keep his hands off my shit and shut up.” Flatmate did not consider this an adequate response, and told me that I should keep my “pornstar bras” in my room because it’s apparently inappropriate to dry them in the laundry room. At this point I was quite annoyed; I don’t wear “pornstar bras,” I just have very large breasts, and they’re a literal constant source of annoyance and back pain. The bras in question were totally normal, but apparently them being a UK 34H makes them inappropriate. I told her that I’m not going to try to dry my bras in my room since it’s tiny and we have a perfectly good drying rack in the laundry room, which is for laundry, and that both she and her boyfriend needed to get over it and grow up. I know that this wasn’t terribly diplomatic, but I felt like she was much ruder than I was. I didn’t really think about it the next day, but now it’s been three days and she’s completely ignoring me, so I’m wondering if I misjudged the situation. AITA? ###### | NTA!!!! It is your home, not his and laundry (unsurprisingly) can be in the laundry room. Ridiculous that she wasn’t embarrassed to even bring this up, I would be embarrassed if this were my boyfriend. It’s not your fault he can’t respect your space or your privacy. Her boyfriend needs to keep his hands off your undergarments. ###### |
When I was a baby my grandmother used to hand sew me a birthday dress every year, and a matching one for my favourite doll. The dresses were beautifully smocked and must have taken weeks to sew. It was a bit of a tradition. I’ve been keeping these dresses (left with my mother in my childhood home) for the last 30 odd years thinking that one day I’ll pass them down to my own daughter. Well today is my nieces first birthday and my mom sends me a picture of niece in my dress that I was keeping. I’m fuming! My mom doesn’t think it’s a big deal and refuses to apologise for giving it to her. She says she’ll get the dress back when my niece outgrows it. But I can’t help think that the dress will be torn or stained , and also it’s my dress that I’ve been keeping for my own child and I don’t want my niece to wear it. AITA? ###### | NTA!!! Your mother gave away your property. Go get the rest of the dresses from her house so she doesn’t have access to give any more away and so your mom doesn’t have to get stuck storing your stuff. ###### |
This sounds ridiculous but here goes!
I (26f) will be eating sometimes (lunch or dinner) and my husband (26m) or our son (18m ), if they aren’t eating or have already finished, will take food off of my plate and feed it to our dog.
It happened last night, I am a slow eater and finished after my husband. We were talking while I finished and he grabbed a piece of chicken from my plate and tossed it to the dog. I asked him why he would do that and he just laughed, I don’t think he understood that it actually bothered me but his reaction made me feel like I was being crazy.
But just now, I was eating lunch (we are all working from home/schooling hasn’t started) when my son came in and scooped up some of my chips and fed them to the dog. Again, I was upset so I asked why he would do that. His reaction was the same, that it was funny and he didn’t think I actually cared.
I feel like an asshole but also, I don’t like that they keep taking food from my plate? It wouldn’t ever even cross my mind to take food from their plates? Also, they do this all the time but usually to eat it themselves, and I didn’t mind as much before because I want them to be full. But the dog has food and table food isn’t good for his stomach anyway so that seems to bother me even more? I don’t know. Am I an asshole?
Edit to add: Son is 18 years old and adopted— sorry I should have clarified. ###### | NTA!!! They're feeding it to the *dog?* That is incredibly disrespectful to you, and not funny at all. The fact that they find it funny when it clearly upsets you is... really something. And the fact that your son has picked up on this behavior is concerning. You should put your foot down and tell them you *do* care, that it *isn't* funny to you, and that even if it seems trivial to them, you don't want them to take your food to feed to the dog. They can use their own food. (Honestly, I would also bring up that it isn't even good for the dog!) NTA, NTA, NTA. ###### |
Now before I get attacked or anything please let me clarify.
I (19F) moved in with my Ex (19M) a year and a half ago, and while I had been living there it was like hell on earth, I was Verbally, Mentally abused by his parents on an almost weekly basis, and when they were not attacking me, they were attacking their own children and eachother.
I got a job and worked full time, over forty hours a week but whenever I dared to spend the money I worked and earned on myself, even if it was just lunch at work I was called many vile names. All the money that I worked for went to his parents, but I was lied to about where it was going.
I was told it was grocery money but there wouldn't be groceries bought, so it went to drugs. My evidence of this is his father borrowed his phone and forgot to delete a text to a random number asking for a "Quarter Ball" which is a measurement for Cocaine.
my playstation that I had begged my parents for for years that I finally had gotten the christmas before I moved out (moved out in Feb 2019) got pawned a week after I moved in and then got lost in the pawnshop but I was never told, but after months of asking to get it back and saying I'd even pay for it I found out it had been lost.
Or when I found out my grandmother was dying I took a day off of work because I was grieving and was called a whore and a cunt and told I was fucking them over.
Now that I have luckily managed to get myself out of that situation I can see how fucked up it is, but the issue is there is a minor there, who is being mentally abused by her parents on an almost daily basis.
Would I be the asshole if I called the cops for a wellness check, because I could honestly keep going on all shit things I heard and experienced living in that house but it would be an 5000+ word essay. ###### | NTA!!! SO MUCH NTA! get that child some help! ###### |
Firstly, I know this sounds weird but bare with me.
I’m a 15 year old girl(?) and suffering from diagnosed depression. I was crying in my room and my mum walked into my room and started saying things like “be happy!” “You can’t be sad all the time” “it isn’t that bad” “you’re self-pitying!” And I lashed out. I told her I was depressed and blah blah blah. She told me to just bE hApPy ArOuNd HeR and I screamed “NO! I CAN’T JUST BE HAPPY WHEN IM F*CKING DEPRESSED” she then left and it’s been a day. She came into my room a while ago and told me I wasn’t depressed,that I was being dramatic and I shouldn’t have to go to the school councillor. She’s starting to make me confused. Can you someone please tell me if I’m in the wrong? ###### | NTA!!! I'm sorry you're going through this.
I was diagnosed with depression when I was young as well.
your mom can't keep you from seeing your school counselor, and I suggest you continue to do so. perhaps express to them these issues.
parents hate the idea of their children having anything wrong with them to the point where some of them are in complete denial.
telling you to be happy won't change your feelings, and you aren't obligated to put on a happy face around her just because she doesn't understand what you're going through.
best of luck. ###### |
So I live in a household where only WOMEN are supposed to wash the dishes. Or house chores in general. My brother stays his ass on the couch all day or playing videos games, who also eats the most food and makes the most dishes with my dad has the nerve to tell me to wash the dishes.
When I tell him why don’t you wash the dishes he goes “what I look like to you” seriously!! He tells me you’re helping mom by doing so, so then why isn’t he helping mom too!?? My dad has the same mentality and always makes me do all house chores, I never once seen my brother pick up one thing.
Now I’m not here saying that I’m the most hard working but if everyone did their part in the house, sharing chores, and taking turns to wash the dishes maybe I would wash them too. I try to help out as much as I can but seeing my brother and dad do nothing just discourages me completely, it’s starting to piss me off, they are not only sexist but they don’t even see how backwards their mentality is. Also my mother is the same way, she only tells me to do chores because a woman is supposed to. And that one day I’m gonna have to marry and do my husbands house chores. Like whattt!!!
I also let my brother know that I won’t ever touch any dishes until everyone does their part in the house to help out.
AITA. ###### | NTA!!! I grew up always helping my aunts and grandmothers cook, while my dad, grandfather, and brothers did nothing. It’s a horrible mindset. ###### |
Context: Since I was born I have had a skin condition which causes my skin to dry easily and even crack open in cold times of year. I also have never been very lovey dovey which my parents blame on me not being allowed to have skin to skin contact with them for the first to weeks of my life due to having little to no liver. I stopped hugging people at 3 and would scream and cry if people new to the family or other young kids would attempt to hug me.
As everyone knows almost everywhere is under lockdown currently, which means my dad who travels for work is home and my mum who travels for fun is also home. I am an extrovert but I still prefer to always be a distance away from people so they don’t accidentally or purposely have physical contact with me. Recently my parents have decided since I am unable to go to therapy to help with my distance issues due to covid(insurance would pay for face to face but not online as they no longer consider it occasional) they would help “fix” it themselves. They have been purposely making me sit in the middle of the couch and cuddle them even though it makes me very uncomfortable and if I am tired enough I panic rather than sit in the lounge chair sofa thing they have for me in the living room. Last night I went to tell my mum goodnight and before I left she pulled me down and forced a hug on me which immediately sent me off, and I told her to not hug me EVER as she knows by now I hate it. She got mad and complained to my dad he went off on me for being upset by such a small thing and that I needed to get over this “don’t touch” me BS, as now that I’m in my teens I should have grown out of it as I am no longer a little kid and the phase should have ended.
AITA for being upset and uncomfortable with this as my entire family except 2 of my siblings are on my parents side with me needing to just accept the hugs and kisses I normally refuse. ###### | NTA!!! Exposure therapy without consent just traumatizes further. Tell them they are not helping you and if they want you to be eventually comfortable with touching they have to respect your boundaries.
I am not a touchy person except with whoever my partner is, but my mom loves hugs. So when she really wants a hug she stands a little bit always and opens up her arms. This gives me time to prep and decide if I can do hug just then, and go in at will. When I’m done with the hug I’ll do a double pat if I want her to let go. It REALLY helped our relationship with her listening to my boundaries and as such she gets more hugs (still not as many as she’d like but eh). ###### |
So basically I like both men and women. And thus I've called myself bisexual since high school. Seemed pretty straightforward and logical to me and no one ever questioned it. Recently though I was chatting with a (likely to be ex-) friend from college who has been giving me shit for awhile about some things. She's in the past jumped on me for saying "LGBT" instead of "LGBTQ+" and for not having my pronouns in my social media bios and is amazed that I, an LGBT person is "so insensitive", (she's cis and straight too.) I've long just chuckled at this. Well last night I made a comment about being bi and we had a convo like this:
Her: You shouldn't use that term, it's transphobic and anti-nonbinary.
Me: um, what? I like both men and women, and used it my whole life. Plus it's part of the LGBTQ+ acronym (humoring her)
Her: yes but it's archaic and considered offensive now. It erases people outside of the gender binary. The correct term now is "pansexual".
Me: That's silly. It's pretty simple I like both men and women, I like both male and female bodies.
Her: Do you like only male and female bodies? What about non-binary bodies?
We went for awhile about it. I basically just said I don't care what someone identifies as mentally if I think their body is hot and I like both male and female bodies. However I only like masculine men and feminine women and people who resemble that. She was screaming at me about how I was erasing people and how insane it is that I'm a queer person who still believes in associating gender with one's body and genitals. I'm stunned.
So AITA? I'm kind of amazed that someone who isn't a conservative or homophobe would flip out over this. ###### | NTA!!! bisexual is a completely valid term and isn't transphobic in any way. your friend is more transphobic than you are in the scenario, they're implying that trans men and women aren't real men or women, that they're simply the "transgender" alternative. if you want to identify as bisexual, do it! you're not harming anyone. ###### |
For starters she’s 39 weeks, she’s literally about to pop. She also got the dog without consulting me, it was literally a spur of the moment thing with her, and not one time did I bitch about it, or trip. He’s the loveliest Golden Lab mix with green eyes. I will say he’s a handful, and though our apartment is spacious, it’s only but so big. I feel like he sleeps most of the time, but when he’s in play mode, he can be a bit much.
I pretty much chalk it down to the lack of special attention, obviously she’s pregnant so the urge to take him out and walk him on a consistent basis while I’m at work I’d rather non existent. I’m not saying she doesn’t at all, but I feel like a properly trained dog is gonna behave and adhere to house rules
Secondly I just feel like she’s missing the principle. She took on the responsibility, and now she’s “overwhelmed”. She even laughed when her sister in law suggested we put him on the side of the road at her sister’s mother day dinner... Not to mention she rushed into finalizing to move into our current apartment which she low key hates. She’s a serial offender when it comes to this type of stuff.
Furthermore, I feel like I compromise with literally everything, whenever her 4 nieces and nephew want to come over I might bitch, but I give in. I give in to whatever she wants to eat, whatever she wants to drink, when we order good, I pay all the bills and utilities, she literally has zero responsibilities. She hardly cooks, or cleans, and I get it she’s pregnant.
I just feel as though, she can be a really selfish person at times, but this time she’s gone too far. I’ve invested financially and emotionally into the dog, and we haven’t even had him a full month. She gave me an ultimatum, which is “Me or the dog”, and I responded no, “it’s me and Cujo or nothing”. She also named him Cujo. I could be wrong in this entire situation, but I’m not budging. ###### | NTA!! You’re right; a dog is a lifelong commitment (edit: lifelong commitment for them obviously, why are so many people confused by this?), and you both took on that commitment when you got him. Don’t make him suffer and lose his family - animals are living creatures with feelings and attachments just like people, and they get severely affected by abandonment. Your gf is SO wrong and being so selfish, especially when she’s the one who got him without thinking about it and without consulting you. So many people have pets (including young pets) when they start families, and they do just fine; you guys will be fine too. He’s just being a puppy at this point because he’s so young; he’ll grow out of that stage with time. And like you said, with the proper training, he can become very well behaved. You sound like you’re providing him with good care and a loving home (with you, anyway). He’s lucky to have such a dedicated and loving dad like you. ###### |
Throwaway for privacy reasons.
I am bisexual. I have dated both men and women in the past but for the past 8 years I have been in a heterosexual relationship and I have biological children with my partner. Last night I was talking about how I would like to watch the new Disney + movie “Out” with our oldest because I thought it might be good to open up some dialogue about gay people and families. I think this is important for a lot of reasons but one being that his uncle recently came out and I would like to talk to him about it.
My partner scoffed and said my son was too young (he’s 7), and they didn’t understand why I was all of a sudden passionate about gay rights. I said, “well considering I am bisexual, I’ve always been about gay rights.” My partner said I was an AH to call myself bisexual when I was in a heterosexual relationship and I’d clearly made my choice. He also said that since I wasn’t in a same sex relationship currently I could only call myself an ally. So, AITA for calling myself bisexual still? ###### | NTA!! That is bi erasure. Am I asexual and aromantic because I am single? No. Are you straight because you are in a relationship with a man? No! It's that easy. No matter your relationship status you are still your sexual identity! ###### |
Me and my ex had my first daughter together who is now an amazing 8 year old. When she was 1 me and her dad broke up and when she was around 2 I started dating again and gave birth to my 2nd daughter, her half sister. Then 1 year later we had our son when the girls were 3 and 1. My oldest daughter splits every other 2 weeks at her dad's, every time she comes back from there she is just plain mean to her siblings. After a couple days it dies down and they get along again but its almost as on cue that she will act up when she gets back from her dad's
I finally got to the bottom of it when I was picking her up and she was acting up cause she didn't like that we had to go pick up my son from his friend's house. I told her that it would only take a minute when she let the bombshell out and said something like "he's not my full brother so why do I have to wait for him?" I asked her why she thinks like that and she told me that her dad tells her that they aren't her full siblings and should be treated as such. I felt TERRIBLE that I didn't notice that sooner and I told her that she doesn't have to get along or even like her siblings but they are her siblings and wether she likes it or not she we are all in it together as a family.
When I got home I called my ex and told him to stop feeding her info that its ok to be mean and treat her siblings mean. He told me to "mind my own business on how to raise her" I really didn't call to start a fight and I just told him to never bring up her siblings when she's over ever again. My husband saw me arguing with him and he just took my phone and hung up cause I was getting worked up. He told me to not engage with him and that its not gonna help anything. While he agrees me for telling him off I could have been nicer about it. AITA? ###### | NTA!! Mind your own business? Seriously? I don’t even have words to describe how ludicrous it is to say that to the *mother of his child*.
Just… Ugh!
*screams into the void*
Edit: you know what makes this worse is that after reading this post I reflected on how my parents divorce affected me (they split when I was three so this happened over the course of 15 years until I became independent), and they also really fucked me up by using me as the messenger. They also used to shout at me as if I were the other parent when they were mad, so I know how it feels to be your little girl, stuck in the middle with out knowing better! WTF!
Get this under control before your girl needs therapy later in life. :( ###### |
I’m getting married in exactly 8 months. My mother is very excited, I’m the first daughter out of 5 to get married.
My grandmother, my mother, my aunt and my cousin all wore the same wedding dress, unaltered, not tailored, just the same dress. It looked beautiful on all of them because they’re all beautiful women, but I don’t have an interest in wearing it. It’s not my style and I would feel bad altering it to make it more my style.
When I got engaged, my mother was so excited that i was gonna wear her dress, and freaked out when I told her I wasn’t going to. She told me I breaking tradition and it was bad luck, but told me I can’t alter it, so I’m kind of stuck in a corner. I decided I was going to wear the dress of my choosing but wear her veil. That was not good enough for her and she won’t talk to me about wedding things because it “breaks her heart”
AITA? ###### | NTA!! It’s your wedding, your choice. You’ll have tons of photos of this day to look at forever basically.. you need to make sure you LOVE what you’re wearing.
Unfortunately weddings are one of those situations where family members feel so much ownership and emotional investment over things that truly don’t involved them. It sounds like you’ve tried to come up with a nice compromise and your mom is being petty.
Stay strong friend and get the dress you truly want! Maybe you can make it a fun day with your mom and sisters and change her mind. ###### |
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months, recently I’ve noticed we’ve drifted a bit. It’s like I’m always having to start the conversations every time.
For the past 3-4 weeks I have been refusing to do sexual stuff. I’m only 16, I’m not as interested in it as much as he is. And I’ve told him that I don’t want to and I’m not confident. He said he respects my wishes, and I was really happy about that.
He came over yesterday and was of course expecting to get some action when I told him the night before that those things weren’t on my agenda. He didn’t talk to me much when he realized I was serious. I joked with him that if he came over the next day I’d do something for him, he’s currently over right now and is mad at me. He’s hiding in my closet and my damn house.
I told him that he should stop expecting stuff like that. He responded that he’s mad that I lied to him, cause of the joke. I said he’s being petty and asked him to come out. He refused multiple times.
AITA for lying?
EDIT- I apologized about lying before I posted this. He said he wouldn’t accept my apology. Forgot to mention oops ###### | NTA!! If he really "respected your wishes" he wouldn't have been mad at you. Consent can be revoked at any time, and if he is getting mad because to him you "lied", that is a concern. He is also being petty for literally hiding in the closet of your own house lol. If he is making you feel guilty at all for not having sex with him, that counts as pressuring you. Not saying he does that now, but if he exhibits guilt-tripping behavior in the future that is grounds for a breakup sis! ###### |
My husband is a stay at home dad(well I guess all dads are stay at home right now but you know what I mean) and he’s really great with our kids. Our son has special needs and our daughter is only 1 so it’s really helpful to have him at home. Plus he didn’t like his job anyway, so it’s a win win.
At Christmas of 2019 we went to my family’s, and my brother came home for the first time in 3 or 4 years. He works on Wall Street and is one of those people who thinks if you’re not earning money you’re wasting your time.
My husband and I were talking to him and bit and he asked what my husband did, he said stay at home dad, and then my brother told him to have self respect and stop being a 50s housewife. I told him that it was rude, but he continued and started asking patronizing questions, like what do you do all day, sit in your ass while your *wife*(he put a lot of emphasis on the fact that I make the money rather than him) earns money. Then he asked if my husband wears panties to bed and takes it up the ass.
I yelled at him for being awful, and we haven’t spoken since. He knows if he wants to talk to me again he has to apologize, and he hasn’t. My parents want to organize a family video chat, with everyone, not just me and them, and I told them I wouldn’t join until my brother apologizes.
My parents told me I’m overreacting and that I know how he is, so just let it go and move on. I don’t think the fact that he’s an asshole means I should accept his actions because he’s an asshole, but now they’re getting mad at me because I’m “ruining their plans”.
AITA? ###### | NTA!! He's just really rude, and honestly pretty mysogynistic. And the fact that your parents said "you know how he is", makes them AH too. Like you said, just because your brother is an ass does not mean you have to accept his behaviour. ###### |
This is all from last year, so lessons were still happening.
I own a ranch, and aside from other animals I have several horses. During the summer I offered riding lessons for kids, and a lot of people took them because they were cheaper than other places. When my neighbor (now 15f) was eight, she would often come over and watch the horses through the fences on the paddock. With the blessing of her parents, I gave her free riding lessons in exchange for helping take care of the horses.
She's great with the horses, and last summer I even paid her to help out with the kids riding lessons. She helps out most weekends and sometimes she comes by after school. Sometimes I even let her take my horses trail riding with her friends, as long as she's being responsible.
Last summer, the mother of a kid I was teaching asked her if she takes riding lessons with me. She said yes. The mother apparently mentioned that my prices were too high, and asked her how much she had paid for lessons. She told the mother that she didn't pay, she just helped because she lived so close.
The mother came over to me and asked if I could give her kid free lessons because I had given them to my neighbor. I told her that I wouldn't, because my neighbor was helping me in return. She then said that I was discriminating against her daughter because they didn't live close to me and couldn't help out. She also told me that I'm gross for "exploiting a child for free labor".
The way I see it, it's a win-win. My neighbor gets to hang out with the horses (which she loves) and gets a guaranteed summer job, and I get some help with my horses. Still, the mother was adamant that I'm definitely an asshole here. I do feel like kind of a jerk, because her kid lives too far away to come very often.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA!! As a horse-lover myself, I applaud you for giving your neighbor a job and letting her ride your horses for free. 10 year old me is SCREAMING wishing I had that opportunity. That being said, that opportunity is EARNED. The child lived next door, showed obvious interest in the horses, and wanted to be put to work to be able to work with horses. It’s not entitlement or anything of that nature. It’s the kindness of your own heart. And you do not need to give everyone that opportunity if they haven’t worked for it. At the end of the day, it’s your horses, so you do what feels right with them. ###### |
This story is a couple years old but it's been on my mind lately. For reference, my boyfriend and I were about sixteen or seventeen when this happened if that's important.
​
So my bf and I were going to hang out at his place and I had called in an order of Chinese for us to pick up, I think it was like one sesame chicken and one veggie lo mein (not very much food.) As neither of us drove we were reliant on our folks for rides, and his mother had offered to drive him out to pick me up from my house and drive us back to theirs. He had asked her if it was alright if we stopped at the Chinese food place on the way back to pick up our order, and she said that was fine.
​
She picked me up and they waited in the car while I went in and got the food. She seemed fine when I got back in the car, but as we were driving back she made it a point to say to my bf that when his father orders food, he is always polite and orders enough for everyone, all while maintaining eye contact with me in the rear view mirror. I just sat there with a deer in headlights look and didn't really say anything, because what do you say when your boyfriend's mom insinuates you're being rude? We retreated as soon as we got to his place and ate alone, but his mother was weird towards me until I left.
​
I was talking to my sister about this recently and she told me that she could see where his mother was coming from, but I feel like since I was a kid who didn't have a job it wasn't really my responsibility to feed the house? Especially since like 7 people lived with him, so it wouldn't have just been feeding one or two extra people.
​
So Reddit, AITA for only buying enough food for myself and my boyfriend, and not food for his family? ###### | NTA! You were a kid. If my mum were in that situation she would of said oooh yea that's a great idea, I'll tag on an order, then she would have paid for the lot because she's not rude to her children's guests. That eye contact was a total power move and really rude imo. You have nothing to worry about. And anyway, if she had a problem with that she could have spoken to her son about it privately after you had gone. Super disrespectful to you as a guest. ###### |
I (28m) proposed to my now Fiance (27f) back in December. We had been dating for over 4 years and already talked about marriage. I knew before I asked the question she would say yes. We had talked about her taste in rings before and she always said she wanted something unique and vintage. Nothing brand new. I was having trouble in finding something i felt confident that she would love. So I came up with the idea to take her on a wonderful vacation to a town in Spain that had a ton of antique jewelry shops. I floated the idea by her and she was very excited. We went on our trip and spent 2 days searching shops for her dream ring (we would have spent more time looking, but she was adamant about the ring she found). We spent another 5 days vacationing, where on our 2nd to last night we went to a fancy dinner and I officially proposed.
When we got back some of her friends were shocked that A.) She picked her own ring and B.) The proposal wasn't a surprise. She knew we were going to be engaged on the trip.
Her family seemed a little weirded out by how we did the proposal well.
She ensures me that she loved everything about the trip and loves the ring, but I cant help but wonder if I spoiled the surprise/magic of a once in a lifetime event.
AITA? ###### | NTA! You did what you thought she would like, and she did indeed like it. Nobody else is in your relationship with her. What do you think she would like more? A trip to Spain and a chance to pick out something she's going to wear every day, or a surprise? Surprises aren't everyone's cup of tea. Norms aren't right for everyone.
I hope you're as thoughtful in your wedding planning instead of just listening to other's dumb advice.
Congrats! ###### |
I’m 20, when I was 18 my father told me that I have an older half-brother(23) we officially met when I was 19, from day one I knew there was something off about him, he really gave off bad vides so I did my best to keep a distance.
But my Dad started inviting him to our family holidays, my brother kept on being really odd around me, making weird comments about my appearance and obsessively complementing me, he had a hard time keeping eye contact and always fiddled with a pocket knife he kept in his pocket.
I honestly disliked being around him because of how odd he is. He send me a message of him Confessing his “love”for me, I told him he’s disgusting told all our family and family friends about his gross confession.
My dad was angry at me, probably because he feels guilty for not being involved in his life. He told me I’m an awful person for exposing my brother like that and that he’s going through some mental heath issues and that I should’ve kept quiet, I don’t see him as my brother just some stranger who happens to share the same dad.
Am I really the asshole for showing everyone my brothers true colours ###### | NTA! Wow, not only is that creepy, but he’s definitely giving off predatory vibes. Shame on your father for defending him! I would keep some serious distance between you two, and anything weird he does be LOUD about it. ###### |
Hey all, I’m a college cheer coach, and when I recruited a school I noticed that their coach wasn’t exactly the best. She seemed very rude to the team, and in general. (Which isn’t why I’m posting, just a bit about her). She didn’t care for safety, as she would have the girls throw baskets when they practiced under a low ceiling, and the girls would subsequently crash into the ceiling but she would tell them to suck it up or get taken out. That in itself is a major safety violation, and she does blatantly. I called her out on it, but she laughed and said it doesn’t matter. I wrote an email to the AD, but never got a response.
Now the same coach is making the team fundraise for her and two girls to go to Hawaii for a cheer camp. Which I don’t think the whole team should have to fundraise. But the real kicker is that she plans on taking her family as well, and that her family is included in the team fundraising. I feel like that’s a big no no, and pretty unethical.
So Reddit. Would I be the asshole if I reported this coach for her blatant safety disregards and now this fundraising stunt to her ADs? I would get in contact with the other assistant ADs for this happen. I feel like I should step in as I also coach this sport and don’t want to see other people get hurt because of this coach. Thanks all! ###### | NTA! Wow all sorts of red flags here! Ethics, safety, leadership...please do everyone a good service and report them! ###### |
I apologize for my English in advance.
Hi I am a 13 year old male who was born in south Korea and moved to Canada at 11 years old. I have been in Canada for coming on 2 years. Out of my family of 5 I am the worst at English. Today I had a video call doctors appointment for my health. With my English skills I could not tell the doctor about my health rightly. So I ask my sister who is 15 female to help me. She is way better at English then me and has the best English in the family. So whenever I could not say something the way I wanted I told her want I wanted to say in Korean. She helped me the hole time. After the doctor hanged up she started scolding me about how I need to be better at English saying I learned Korean faster then I did English. I told her that I could speak English mostly it is just some parts I cant and I need help. She then said that I'm 13 and need to act it and take responsibility. I feel it was not a problem to help me but she was very upset that it. ###### | NTA! Woah, a lot of pressure at your age. Sorry to hear it. Your English is great for having had such a short period of time to learn. I don't get the "you're 13 so you should be better" attitude at all. To me, its more like "You're 13, have already come so far, and have plenty of time to perfect it" ###### |
Context
Me 16m and my brother 12m get along pretty much well.
He will more often than not though *always* leave a dish or crumbs or idk something left over on my bed after he was in there for a little bit and its gotten annoying.
So for the past idk month or so whenever he left something on my bed instead of throwing it away or taking it to the kitchen I just have been moving them to his bed and hoping that'd make him stop.
Well today this happened but he left a contained of raspberries on my bed. So lile usual I moved them.
Well cue a few hours later he goes back and sees them there. And pulls back the bed sheet to reveal the juices leaked and left a stain on his mattress. He gets mad and goes to the other side of the house.
This includes him telling my mom what happened and her getting mad at me for not putting stuff back that he leaves behind. I tell her I tell him to and he doesn't but she just walks off hearing nothing of it
At this point i felt bad for the stain so i went and got some peroxide and a crappy towel and got to work.... Voila stain is gone in like 2 minutes.
He's still mad at me as is my mother but idk what to do about it at this point
Reddit AITA? ###### | NTA! Why is he leaving his trash on your bed? ###### |
This happened a few months ago but I recently told this story to my roommate who thinks I overreacted.
I'd ordered food from an app and the driver called me to ask for my address. I had him on call for a bit because he seemed kinda clueless and it took him a while to find my building, but the conversation never went anywhere personal. I just gave him directions ,thanked him for the food and hung up. Didnt even get the guys name or anything.
Few hours later I opened my whatsapp and saw that an unknown number had sent me a ton of voice messages. I listened to them and recognised the guys voice. Tbh, there was nothing objectively weird in it, he just talked about how nice of a person I seemed and how he'd like to keep in touch and it wasnt a big deal if I wasnt into it but it still creeped me out. I'm a female living with a female roommate and this guy knowing my address made me pretty uncomfortable. I reported him to the app and they said they would deal with it so I blocked him and let it go. A couple of weeks later the same guy messaged me from another number and I blocked his ass like lightning but I was pretty stressed at that time so I didn't really focus on doing anything about it.
My roommate and I were chatting yesterday and I brought the story up, thinking I was in the right for dealing with him, but she thinks that it was an AH move. In my country ( and I guess in most countries) this guy was probably a min wage worker and he'd mentioned in one of the voice messages that he had kids so me reporting him could have caused him problems. According to her, he wasnt pushy and just sounded lonely and naive so I should have just blocked him and let it be. We also live in a gated building and the guy just dropped off the food with security and never saw my face so I shouldn't have 'panicked'.
I think I was justified in being concerned for my safety, but I feel bad for getting someone into so much trouble if it was innocent. AITA? ###### | NTA! What that guy did was hugely inappropriate. Doesn't matter if he's lonely, has kids or whatever, you do not use your job to access people's contact details and address etc ###### |
AITA for refusing to go to my sisters wedding?
This happened almost a year ago, but I’m still getting shit for it, so I guess I’ll share here and see where my judgement lies.
So my sister (s) got married to (A), the man who did bad things to me me. We didn’t press charges because he wore protection so there was no
semen for evidence, so the case was somewhat useless already, and we could afford a lawyer. She knew about this before she dated him. She was the first person I went to. Anyway, they ended up dating and got engaged. S asked me to be her maid of honor, but I told her that there is no way I would go to her wedding, and can’t believe she would marry such a horrible man. We both shed a lot of tears that day, but S still insisted she loved A and that he’d changed.
I ended up not going and severing ties with S. Recently, S had a baby and my parents have been giving me hell for my decision, and refusing to meet my nephew or be in any of their lives. AITA? ###### | NTA! What is wrong with your family?! Your sister marries the person who assaulted you and now your family expects you to just roll with it?
Are you in therapy for what happened to you? I was assaulted a few years ago, and therapy helped me work through a lot of trauma. ###### |
My wife's uncle is Islamophobic. I'm Muslim and my wife is Hindu. Her uncle has always been very friendly to be but also talked about Muslims are ruining the country and should go back. It is wierd but he doesn't see me as Muslim for some reason. I am one of the good ones, but every other friend isn't.
Recently he posted a Facebook message saying that Muslim men are trying to seduce Hindu girls. Apparently the reason is that Hindu girls don't smoke or drink much and have better organs. So Muslims seduce them and then steal their organs. His Facebook is filled with shit like this.
I replied with " I am glad you think I married 'wife's name' so I can steal her organs". He deleted his post a little while later. Anyway here wife's family think I'm an asshole. Apparently I'm rude and that is just the way he is. My justification is that he has been rude to me consistently and I don't need to consider his feelings any more. Unfortunately my wife is stuck in between.
So AITA? ###### | NTA! This is like those families that say things like “homosexuals are ruining America and they shouldn’t have the right to adopt/get married” yet are magically accepting of their own gay child, but no one else’s.
You’re either racist/bigoted or you’re not. ###### |
AITA - I ordered takeout, picked up my food, and the resturaunt called as I was pulling into my driveway. The person from the restaurant told me she gave us an extra bag of food and asked me to drive back and drop it off at the restaurant. I told her that I really didn’t want to drive back and drop the food off and she just hung up on my mid sentence.
Am I the asshole?
I know I wouldn’t want food that someone took away from the restaurant and brought back. ###### | NTA! They would be in major hot water if they had given that food to someone else. Definitely not legal. Once they hand it off to a customer they can't take it back and give it to someone else. It's ridiculous that they even asked you to do that. ###### |
I heard you are asshole aficionados here, and this is tangentially related to a literal one.
I work at a welding shop in the midwest. It's hot, I sweat. The toilet paper supplied by work is tough-guy TP: don't take crap off nobody, and you'll bleed if you try.
The last thing I need is a mud problem on a hot summer day.
So I be a little proactive, bring some brand name stuff here. I don't have a locker, so I leave at my desk. Do my business, have a fresh rest of my day.
Work is 24 hours, 7 days a week, divided into three shifts. I come in, the damn thing is near empty. Off shift workers took turns with my TP to their anuses like a three dollar hooker.
I've since requested a locker but told them it wasn't ok (stern, not yelling) and I have since started keeping the TP in my car, which is a three minute walk from the shop, so any emergencies I am shit creek. The off shift now thinks I'm an asshole - so let me ask: AM I the asshole here? ###### | NTA! That’s so rude of them why can’t they just buy their own name brand stuff? Keeping it in your car is a good idea even if it’s a bit inconvenient. Maybe keep a bit of it in your pocket for emergencies.
Also side note your diction made this post a delight to read lol ###### |
Ok so during Quarantine, I (15M) get on a Discord call with a few ok my friends every night for about an hour or two.
Last night my Mom asked my to help her find her phone. So I muted myself and went to help her find it. Around 5 minutes of looking in a different room, my Mom had put ok my headphones and listened to the call.
She had made up the missing phone just so she could listen to the call. I was angry and shutdown my PC immediately and angrily, but not yelling, to give me my headphones.
She started yelling about how she was my Mother and was entitled to listen to my conversations. So this one Subreddit who likes to judge people AITA? ###### | NTA! that’s a huge invasion of privacy! i’d understand more if she came to you concerned about your internet activity and was worried for your safety but the clear lie and attempt to distract makes her the ahole. you’re fifteen and she has no reason to distrust you. sounds nosy to me. ###### |
Mostly anxiety speaking here. I have a mentally disabled sister, physically she is an almost 40 year old woman but mentally she is about 15 months old. My parents feed her, shower her, dress her, etc. I struggle extremely with the fact that when my parents are gone, that I will have to take care of her. It kills me that she is disabled. The thought of doing all that everyday for years with disregard to my own life, I can’t handle it. There were times in my teen years that I resented her, I had to rush back home to take care of her while my parents were gone. I had no childhood. AITA for cringing at the thought of taking care of her? For not feeling anything towards her? For feeling uncomfortable at the thought of washing her? For not wanting this role? ###### | NTA! She’s your sister, not your child. You should speak to your parents about what provisions they’ve made for when they pass regarding her care, and that mentally you’re not capable of caring for her yourself. They need to make sure something is there and there is a set plan before they pass. That is their responsibility as her parents and her carers. ###### |
A bit of a background: we've been together for 9 years, living together for 8 years and were engaged after 7.
My SIL got engaged in October, after being in a relationship for 1 year. They are getting married this autumn. We were invited.
The problem is, when we were going to move together, she said she doesn't support our decision, and my man should "keep looking" (for another girl). I was sitting right beside them but didn't say a word, I didn't want to cause any more problems.
When we got engaged, she messaged my SO through Facebook, and said she will never be happy for us, and that he should have asked HIS parent's permission to marry me first. It was very hurtful, but I still did not say a word, I always tried to be kind to her.
We haven't met her boyfriend/fiancé until a few weeks ago she finally introduced him over Skype. My husband was a bit hurt that she never bothered to introduce them before,only months before the wedding. Anyway, after the Skype conversation, she sent another weird message to my hubb, saying that I should apologize for disagreeing with them on certain matters. My husband asked why is it only me who needs to apologise for something he agreed with and wholeheartedly supported too. My SIL said she doesn't consider me a separate person, she wouldn't address ME only the man I belong to.
I was pretty hurt after reading that (husband showed me the whole conversation), and I told him that maybe I don't want to go to his sister's wedding. She said one too many derogatory stuff to me, and I just can't continue to pretend I'm all okay with it.
He said he doesn't want to go either because he's mad at her.
However, I know he's close to his family, and I'm afraid he would regret not going to his sister's wedding. I know I should suck it up and go and take my man with me, but I feel too fed up. He's definitely NOT going without me (so he said).
So WIBTA if I didn't go to the wedding and made my husband to miss out on it too? ###### | NTA! Maybe I'm biased bc I recently cut off my brother for being horrid to me all my life, but I still think you have *every* right to not want to put yourself through this all the time, and honestly, you're not responsible for whether or not your husband goes.
If he chooses to stand by you and your relationship over her judgement, great for him, he's a good guy, confetti! Honestly, it's very precious to me. It may hurt him, too, but he clearly is fed up with her. You can ask him again if he's sure, make sure he knows you don't want him to be hurt or regret it, and that you don't mind him going, just would like to keep yourself out of it, but the way I understood it, he was already mad before he showed you the texts, and probably had his mind made up.
Support him and know he loves you so much. Nobody needs family like that, but everyone needs a partner this supportive and protective. ###### |
I met my boyfriend at the beginning of freshman year of college(I’m a junior now) and I moved into his apartment in January. I’m 5’9” and he’s 5’5”. So yes, I’m tall and he’s short and I can see how that could be a little funny at first.
But my friends have been making jokes about it for 2 years straight. Just incessantly, every conversation has to be a joke about it. I’ve told them to relax with the jokes multiple times and they never stopped.
And my boyfriends friends are so much more... I don’t know how to say it, just chill. I’ve been spending most of my time with them playing video games online rather than on the 2 hour phone calls my friends have been having.
They’ve been texting me asking what I’m doing and to call them. WIBTA if I don’t? ###### | NTA! it’s not a big deal! i think you should text them and tell them why you’re not hanging out with them as much but really you’re an adult and you’re allowed to decide who to surround yourself with! ###### |
Sorry for the bad formatting, I’m on mobile.
Earlier today I wanted to get pizza, and was craving me some Papa John’s. So I ordered two large pepperoni and sausage pizzas, with a shitload of garlic bread and wings. The total order came out like $40 which doesn’t include tips.
Of course, when you’re ordering that much food in these unprecedented times, I figured it’d make sense to at least tip these workers risking their lives to simply deliver pizza. Takes a lot of guts to do that in my opinion.
Normally I would just give them cash, but because of everything going on I’d figure it would make more sense to just give them an online tip, so I generously gave the deliverer a $20 dollar tip.
It took over an hour for the pizza to get there, which was way longer than usual. When the delivery-woman showed up, she had this mean expression on her. I grabbed the food and asked her what was wrong.
She unloaded on me asking why I’m tipping her electronically. She was worried the government is gonna tax her now. She prefer getting tips the normal way because of that.
I explain her that was part of the reason (along with what’s going on) I gave her $20 dollars for a tip. She simply said that she would’ve preferred a $20 dollar bill and stormed off.
That shocked me for a bit. Not only did I not expect this from an employee on the clock, but I thought I was being generous with the tip
EDIT: For clarification the order wasn’t just for me. Didn’t mean to come off gluttonous ###### | NTA! I work in the food service industry and even though im not working right now because of covid, im always grateful for tips. Especially when people tip at 50%. That woman was the AH not you. If it were me, id call and tell the manager. ###### |
My girlfriend orders packs of wine top our door in a 30 minute delivery service we have here and has been drinking a minimum of a bottle of wine a day for the last two weeks.
For context she has previously admitted she is an alcoholic and her 2020 resolution was to quit alcohol this year. She went alcohol free for Jan and Feb then started drinking "socially" in early march.
When I asked her how much she had to drink today when i saw two empty bottles on our counter she called me controlling and said she "has it under control".
AITA? ###### | NTA! Hi! I am a 24 F and my fiancé is an alcoholic. Aside from him- addictions are common in my family. It sounds corny but doing some research on how to approach somebody can be totally helpful.
I’m sorry she shut you down by calling you controlling. I’m really sorry. It’s not you- she really just REALLY wants to keep drinking wine every day.
My little brother is addicted to meth. When I found out and told him I wanted him to stop for the first time, he told me he would hate me forever and resent me. The same thing happened to my mother, with her own sister. I’m so sorry. Addicts can be incredibly cruel. Their brain is obsessed with the prize. Thankfully- people who recover or make strides to recover usually try to take these things back and make amends.
Even if she isn’t blackout every day- a bottle of wine every day is something she depends on and clearly “needs” in her mind, if, when you bring it up for her safety, she refuses to accept it and wanted to make YOU feel bad. It’s addiction.
When it comes to alcoholics specifically- they are usually a little more coherent when confronted than other addicts. Alcoholics are more “functional” if you can call being an addict functional at all. They are really really good at running you in circles with an argument for booze.
I’ve been most successful helping my fiancé cut back and control his drinking by having calm and understanding conversations with him about what this does for our relationship, for his health, and especially his wallet. she may not be seeing the consequences to her drinking because, she’s too interested in drinking. Losing trust and being cruel to your SO is a very common consequence of alcoholism.
It may be difficult but keep trying for your loved one for as long as you can. Approach her with understanding and with her at the forefront of your mind and language and she may open up. ###### |
We’ve been together for a year now, both 20. She knows I like to play video games, and she doesn’t. In fact, she’s told me her friend destroyed her bf’s stuff after he spent too much time on the games, and that she sees why she did it.
So to what happened: Yesterday she had asked me if I wanted to come over, and I let her know that I had planned to play video games that night with a couple of friends, I also stated that I haven’t spent time with said friends in a while, and one of them is out of state, so gaming is something we can connect with.
She got mad, telling me that I don’t care about how she feels, and that all I want to do is spend time playing video games. I don’t bring anything gaming to her house, and I spend 3-4 nights of the week at hers.
I had an appointment to go to, and she had to drive. So we got in the car and she got mad, driving her car out of the driveway recklessly, and ended up bumping into an electric pole just a couple houses over. She pulls back into her driveway, and she tells me to leave, and that if I care more about video games, then she can find somebody else to sleep with, easily. I end up leaving with my stuff and she says “have fun”.
She ends up calling telling me to “be a man”, that “a man doesn’t play video games”, and threatening to sleep with other people. I told her calmly that her actions have consequences and that her actions are not going to punish me.
So everyone, AITA?
tl;dr - wanted to play video games with friends, gf gets mad, hits a pole with her car and threatens to sleep with other people. ###### | NTA! First of all, the fact she mentions destroying something you love is red flag one. The fact she drives recklessly when she’s mad is red flag two. The fact she says you’re not a man for playing video games, is red flag number three. You are not less of a man for doing something you love. You see her multiple times a week without playing video games. If that isn’t enough for her, then she’s TA. ###### |
My husband(38M) and I(37F) have been married 17 years. We have two children, 18M and 13F. Every few years my husband gets what I lovingly call baby fever and wants to have another child. I usually respond with "the baby factory is closed" and he drops it. It tends to only happen more when friends, family, or coworkers have babies so I didn't really take his requests to seriously.
Last year he told me he wants to have another kid but unlike the other times, he hasn't let it go. It is really putting a strain on our marriage. To him there is no reason to not have another child. We are in a better state financially than we were with the first two and have better insurance. We also own our home. Why not have another?
To me, it's another 10 months of misery. My first two pregnancies were really rough on me physically and mentally and I was in my early 20s then. I can't imagine how much harder it would be now that I'm pushing 40. Then there is the months/years of diapers, breastfeeding, sleepless nights, etc. My husband is a good father but 90% of all child care from birth to about 5 years was my responsibility.
I am firmly against having another child. My husband thinks it is unfair that I keep saying no and there is nothing he can do about it.
AITA for telling my husband no to having another child? ###### | NTA! “my husband is a good father” and “i took care of 90% of the childcare” are contradicting statements ###### |
Yes, I am 35 and have a 10yo half-brother from my father's second marriage. I am sort of a quasi-father/brother to my younger brother, My father and his wife were not planning on having kids so they were not prepared. My brother is a really cool kid and he spends a lot of time with me and my wife. His school got shutdown and home schooling doesn't cover the "puberty" discussion. He clearly is on the cusp of puberty. His hygiene consists of a short shower, brushing teeth, rinsing and that's it. It's clear he needs to up his hygiene game. I bought a "bro kit" for his age which consists of deodorant, electric toothbrush, good body wash, facial pads, etc. He needs some, but not all thought I don't think it's ever too early to start. I already know his mom will be upset by it and question it. I know if I try to talk to her or my dad, it will go in one ear and out the other. ###### | NTA!
This is wonderful! Kudos to you for being a wonderful additional male figure in your little brothers life. This is so sweet. Give your dad a heads up, probably relate it back to something in your youth and give your brother his bro kit.
Ugh this is so wholesome, I can’t. 😩 ###### |
I posted that I have a 10g fishtank set up for sale. I’m moving and can’t bring it with.
Someone contacted me asking if it was still available. I say yes. They say great, they want to use it for a ten year old red slider turtle. I let them know that this tank is way too small for a turtle (the tank is too small for a goldfish to be kept properly honestly) and that I can’t, in good conscious, sell them the tank. They go off on me saying it “isn’t up to me” to decide how they house their turtle. True, but it isn’t up to them who I sell my fishtank to. I sent them a link to a 100 gallon tank for sale for only $75 and went about my day.
((For reference, red sliders usually get to be 12” long. The tank itself is only 18” long, 10” wide. The thing wouldn’t even be able to turn around. The recommended tabk size for a single turtle is 10 gallons per inch of length. A full sized turtle would need at least 120 gallons.))
AITA for refusing to sell this person a fishtank? ###### | NTA!
The fish tank is still in yours and you have the right to do as you please. To allow him to put a turtle in that small 10gal is honestly animal abuse! Power to you for standing your ground. I hope the right offer comes your way soon! ###### |
I a (15M) enjoy cooking and baking and have always wanted a stand mixer since it would make life easier in the kitchen and have told my mom this multiple times and had wanted one for my birthday.
As time goes on my birthday rolls around and my uncle comes to visit use and had brought me a present. I didn't open it until he left as I wanted to spend time with him and not look like a greedy child only wanting the gifts.
When he leaves I open the gift and there it was. A decent looking WHITE stand mixer (that's important for later) and was around £80 in value. I used this multiple times in the kitchen and enjoyed using it as it was a great tool for the kitchen.
A few months later I wanted to make some croissants and asked my mom. She said yes. I went to the kitchen looking for the stand mixer and it was gone. I looked everywhere for it and couldn't find it. I asked my mom where it was and she said she gave it away to charity. I WENT MENTAL
I said a few hateful words saying how stupid she for giving away MY birthday present away for FREE when it wasn't cheap. She said I was in no position to tell her what she can and cant do as it was her kitchen and apparently HER STAND MIXER. I was done at that point and asked why would she even do something like that and her answer was.
It didn't fit in the kitchen since it was white, not black.
I gave up at that point and went to sleep as I had nothing to do. And two weeks later she bought another stand mixer which was almost double the price same brand, same wattage but black. Now, since this wasn't my mixer I was not allowed to use it anymore, so now my mixer is gone and I cant even use the new one anymore
I went on another spree of saying mean words to her and she teared up, my 3 siblings say I over reacted and now I feel guilty
So AITA
(Sorry if this story was too long I had to get a lot of my chest since I was angry)
Edit:cleared up a misconception ###### | NTA!
I feel like the people criticizing you aren't understanding the entire situation. I see in some of your comments that:
- you kept your stand mixer out of sight unless you were using it, but even those thirty minutes when you're actually using it are too much for her. No one is even seeing her kitchen while you're using it!
- she gave away *your* possession without telling you. She could have at least warned you that she was going to do that, so that you could say you'll just keep it in your room or something until you move out (it still would have been ridiculous of her, but at least you would have had more of a say).
- she bought a new one for herself. When I first read that, I thought "okay well at least OP has something they can use until they move out, at which point mom should really buy them a replacement." But then you said that YOU'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO USE IT.
If this is all the case, then your mom is straight up an AH. You have every right to be mad at her but it sounds like she's incapable of seeing that she was wrong.
Plus it comes off like she's probably not even going to use the stand mixer herself, but just wants it as "decoration" (it might sound ridiculous to others but for many people a stand mixer — at least a kitchenaid one —is a status item). ###### |
Bit of context: my sister is abusive as all hell. She’s thrown me into walls and belittles me every chance she gets, and yet expects me to like her.
I got married in late July last year. My husband and I agreed to a family-and-closest-friends wedding almost immediately, since family alone was almost 50 people and it would be in his parents back yard. We also agreed that we didn’t want more than just the best man and maid of honor up there with us. I immediately asked my best friend to be my maid of honor. When I went to try on dresses it was just my mother, sister, and my husband’s sister as my best friend was out of town. On the way there, we were talking about the dress for my best friend. At this point I hadn’t even had a chance to tell my sister about the decision as this was only a week after getting engaged and I had been so busy. While talking about the styles my best friend had found for her dress, my sister asked “well is it going to look good on everyone?” which is when I had to tell her she wouldn’t be in the wedding. She was mad, which I understand. She was so cold to everyone during the dress appointment and only looked kind of happy when I found my dress. It made the whole thing really awkward. After that she wasn’t very involved in the planning. I offered for her to get ready with us on the day of the wedding and she refused and the day of she clearly wasn’t very happy and left without saying goodbye right after pictures were done. I got comments from a couple of people throughout the planning process that I should have had her in the wedding, but why would I want someone who has hurt me that badly up there with me? I keep questioning if I made the right choice. AITA for not wanting her up there? ###### | NTA! Nobody is entitled to be a part of your wedding! Even if she WASN’T abusive, she still doesn’t get an automatic pass, and the fact that she couldn’t be nice or supportive shows that you made the right choice. ###### |
I (f26) have always struggled with my identity. I live in Europe and I’m 1/4 black, 3/4 white, but my skin is darker than you would expect for being only 1/4. I found it difficult growing up because even though I am technically more white than black, my skin isn’t white, so I’ve always felt like I didn’t belong to any group and have had some very bad experiences due to my skin colour.
There is a writers workshop that is currently promoting the black community, where people can discuss their experiences. I planned to join this workshop because I have experiences I would like to share, but when I told my bf, he said it was selfish for me to join the group because I’m only 1/4 black and the group isn’t meant for me. He also said the other people in the group won’t like it.
AITA here for still wanting to join? There isn’t a limit to how many people can join this workshop, so I’m not taking anyone’s space. And this raises questions that I have had my whole life but have never been able to talk to anyone about it. What exactly am I supposed to call myself? What is it that decides whether I am one way or the other? My experiences? The literal colour of my skin? Or my genetic makeup? ###### | NTA! Don’t walk, run to that workshop. Go and share your experience as a mixed person. It will be cathartic to express how you felt during the times you didn’t feel “white” enough and times like these when you don’t know if you are “black” enough. You will undoubtedly learn from others as well.
Edit: corrected spelling ###### |
I’ll try to keep it short.
My (27F) brother (38M) is currently living in a different part of the state than the rest of his family (Wife and 2 kids). He called me the other day to tell me he’s interested in buying a house. I felt it coming that he would ask but I really didn’t expect the guilt trip.
He was approved for a loan of 150k but he would have to move further away to be able to afford a house in that range. He wants me to co-sign on a house and receive a loan in MY name for another 150k so he could buy a house closer to the family.
I’m not all that close with my family to begin with so that factor doesn’t really affect me. However, our kids are close in age and were close before the initial move so he said it would be in the best interest of them and the family to have him move closer.
My mom is 25k in debt, my father has a foreclosure on his record, and my brother declared bankruptcy a few years back. Everyone has some kind of huge negative record which is prohibiting them from assisting my brother, im the only one with a somewhat clean record. I do have some debt but not nearly as much as the rest of my family. I’ve already told him based on my income and credit I don’t think I would qualify but he’s a real estate agent so he sucked me into believing maybe I could.
My issue is I’m a single mom who is only now finding herself in the beginnings of financial stability. The idea of 150k being under my name towards a house I won’t even use is making me nauseous. I’ve always struggled with telling my family no and I know the wave of guilt is going to engulf me eventually. I don’t want the kids to be split but I also don’t want to risk my financial future. Tell me reddit, would I be an asshole in telling him absolutely not?
TL;DR: my brother wants me to co-sign 150k towards a house I wouldn’t even live in for the sake of the family. ###### | NTA! Don't cosign, DON'T EVER DO THAT! I'm a lawyer who represented cosigners in foreclosures and debt collection actions, and I'm begging you, for the love of God, Allah, Yahweh, and/or the Flying Spaghetti Monster DON'T DO IT! You will be 100% on the hook if they fail to make payments, and that kind of thing can and does destroy people's lives - often. You're not only not the asshole, you're making the only possible safe decision here by saying absolutely not. No "family" duty should involve putting yourself $150,000 in debt!
​
(Pant, pant) As you can possibly guess, I have strong feelings on this subject. ###### |
Quick things to remember
•pregnant girlfriend
•we had a little scare 2 weeks ago which led to my girlfriend having to stay in the hospital for a total of 6 days regarding the baby.
•one of the doctors orders was to stay the least stressed possible
I work night shifts so the afternoon started just like any other until about three hours into my shift. My girlfriend sends me multiple text about how horrible her mother made her feel when she reviled to her she was getting the tdap shot. So I simply sent her mother a text that stated “With all do respect I would appreciate if you wouldn’t stress ally out over something so trivial as the tdap shot. I trust that she will do what she feels is best for her and the baby and we all need to respect that. We value the opinions of medical professionals far more than anything that can be googled. “ which she responds with “ Listen she's my daughter and I will inform of what I wish . With all do respect . “ so at this point I’m pretty livid and sent a not so nice text next,using some profanity while reminding her of the incident we had just gone through. She proceeded to tell me how this is an issue that only deals with her and her daughter (my girlfriend). I remind her that the baby inside her daughter is also mine which makes this my issue, while letting her know that just because she is grandma, doesn’t mean she’s entitled to be apart of my sons life. ###### | NTA!
I dislike it how people want to endanger others for stupid beliefs that they read on some idiots blog! Be sure to talk to your GF about how you don't want the baby around her mother. At all. ###### |
Backstory on my boyfriend's brother is that I don't like him and he doesn't like me. My family is comfortable without being wealthy while my boyfriend's family is definitely wealthy, and the brother seems to think I'm a golddigger despite my boyfriend and I splitting everything 50/50. He is the kind of person who will ask the groom on the day of his wedding if he needs a getaway driver and tell people to get prenups at their engagement party, and I'm saying this because I've seen him do both things more than once.
I'm pregnant. It's definitely ahead of schedule but my fiancé and I are happy about it. I'm around 5 months pregnant, my fiance proposed about 2 weeks before we found out. We told his family earlier today over zoom. His mum, dad, and sister congratulated us and his brother did too, but then the brother made a joke about getting a prenup (which we are doing anyway). My fiance's sister told him to shut the fuck up and the dad said "come on now" in a reproachful tone, and then I said "just checking are you aware there are personality traits other than dickhead and edgelord?", after which my fiance's mother told me off for speaking to her son like that because he's just looking out for his brother. I asked if "I'm just meant to let him say whatever he wants, then?"
Call ended quickly after that, and now I've had messages from my future parents in law and brother in law all expecting me to apologize in order to smooth things over. Fiance says not to apologise for shit and his sister says they're ridiculous but this might be the easiest way to move on, and pointed out that I did go for him there when they'd already spoken to him.
Aita? ###### | NTA:. Don’t give them an apology, you have your fiancé and his sis on your side, you’re good. Dad is probably going with it because of the mom. Stand your ground. ###### |
My mother is in her 40’s, she got out of rehab for drug use recently.
While in rehab (she says) she applied to half-way houses for afterwards, the applications were denied.
She got out of rehab and decided she was going to Georgia the next morning. That night she spent a night in a hotel with a friend. I didn’t hear from her for about 3 days. Tonight while I was working she asks me to pick her up afterwards. I ask where she wants to go and she just lays into me about how she has nowhere to go, no one cares, and to just forget about it. Emphasizing how she has nowhere to go, most likely to guilt me into offering her to stay with me.
This was typical behavior of her when she was using and I, rightfully so, do not want her in my apartment if she is using again. And I don’t necessarily want her here even if she isn’t.
AITA for feeling this way? ###### | NTA: Your feelings are valid and you are entitled to them. It would be my possibly less than humble opinion that she hasn't reformed if she isn't acknowledging 1)how she messed up by using drugs 2) how she has wronged you specifically (making amends I believe is the term used 3) how you are not responsible for how she is treated by others. 4) you are not responsible for taking care of her 5) she is responsible for her situation and she needs to be the one to take action to get out of it.
You simply can't help her as long as she doesn't acknowledge these things. You could only enable her. Consider seeking out a support group like Al-anon once Covid settles down or find one online. There are non- religion based ones as well. ###### |
My 3 best friends and I were on our way to the beach earlier today, when my friend who was driving (K) was pulled over for speeding. She has never been pulled over before so she was freaking out a bit thinking the ticket was going to be like $400 and immediately told us we would be splitting this ticket four ways. My friend S basically told her no we wouldn’t be splitting the ticket as we weren’t the ones speeding K was. I agreed with my friend S that we shouldn’t have to split the ticket. It ended up being a $190 ticket. I told my parents when I got home and they called me an asshole for not splitting the ticket. We had already agreed to pay for gas and are actually now paying $20 each which was a lot more than it should be as a “sorry you got pulled over” bonus but I am now mixed on if AITA or not. ###### | NTA: You weren’t speeding. Your friend was driving and chose to speed. Always good to pitch in for gas, but speeding tickets? That’s not on you. ###### |
Ok so I'm probably TA but frankly IDGAF and I'm posting this anyways.
Backstory:My parents divorced when I was around 5 and my mom remarried instantly (I think its cause she didn't want to be alone the days I wasn't there). I am an only child but her husband had 4 kids all around my age, so at 5 I now had "siblings" who were 6,5,3 and 2. At first it was alright but as time went on I hated it, they would all gang up on me and it was always a 4v1.
So I spent a lot of time at my mom's and with them, they excluded me a lot saying how I wasn't one of them and it was always tense. Our parents tried to make it work they really did, but the kids wanted no part of it and I didn't want any part of it after the constant fighting and bullying. At 8 or 9 I started playing a lot by myself in my room. At 14 I asked my dad if i could live with him but he had a bad living situation and couldn't afford to have me and he wanted me to at least have a good home which I respected. After years you'd think id see them as siblings but I felt nothing but indifference for all of them cause I can't remember having a single good moment with any of them.
I moved out the second I turned 18 and I split rent with my dad, I got accepted into a GREAT college. I don't want to give out the name but if you watch college football they are one of the 4 teams that made the playoffs this year.
Well now college is shut down and I ended up moving back in with my dad for the time being. I was visiting my mom and I told her about the college, she was proud of me but my step sister (the oldest and 1 year older than me) asked why I didn't tell the rest of the family about me going to a good college. I told her I did tell my family, she got confused and I told her I told my family. She finally got that I meant not her or her siblings/dad. She called me a dick and left the room and my mom said I was being rude and practically kicked me out of the house. ###### | NTA: You get to choose who you include in your family. ###### |
In high school (who am I kidding all of school) I was a huge nerd. GPA had to be 4.0 or I felt sick so I obviously studied a lot. I sacrificed countless hours I could have spent having fun and hanging out with friends to get good grades. So in 9th grade biology we had a test I had studied hours and hours for cuz I wasn't sure on the material and it counted for 40% of our grade. So day of the test comes and the teacher passes it out. We had to cut out strips of paper with descriptions of I think cells and glue them in the right box. (Dont ask my why in 9th grade we were cutting out colored paper like we were in prek) so I cut all mine out and I'm excited. I know them all! So I start lining em up on the paper. I look up and notice the guy across from me (our desks faced each other) was copying me! Like not glancing over because he wasn't sure on one thing but copying my entire test. I was livid! So I quickly rearranged all my strips to the wrong boxes and he does the same. As soon as he turns his paper in I rearranged mine to the correct answers, glued them down and turned my test in. When she returned our tests I got 100% and he got.....0% The look on his face. Priceless. He just kept looking at my test then down at his. Neither of us ever mentioned it. So was I the asshole? ###### | NTA: This may have been petty, but it definitely got the message across ###### |
I’m (18) currently living with my parents since my college has been shut down. My older brother (20) lives with my parents, too.
I’ve been staying in my old room while my parents have made the basement into an apartment-style room for my brother. Basically, he has a small fridge, microwave and bathroom down there.
I was getting out of the shower in the bathroom that’s connected to my bedroom when I got the feeling that someone was watching me. Since my parents are at work (they’re both essential workers) and my brother in the basement (or so I thought), I ignored the feeling and continued to dry off. However, I started to get creeped out, so I turned around (It’s hard to describe the layout of the bathroom, so I’ll just say that my back was to the door) and saw my brother in the crack of the door. It was only opened a little bit but it was enough to see his face before he ran out of my bedroom (note: I always close my bedroom door before I shower).
I quickly got dressed and ran after him, shouting that he was so fucking creepy and a huge pervert and I’m going to tell mom and dad what a creep he is.
He slammed the basement door closed in my face and locked it. I tried to jingle the door handle open while continuing to yell how creepy he is. After a few minutes, I ran back up to my room and locked my bedroom door, feeing so gross and violated.
Later, I was on FT with my friend and told her what happened. She laughed and said that he was probably just fucking around and trying to scare me. I disagreed but she’s convinced that I overreacted and should just prank him back.
So, Reddit, AITA for calling my brother creepy? ###### | NTA: This is a Class A Case of the ***yuckies*** ###### |
So some friends and i were heading to the capital of our country by train. We knew it was going to be very hot, and we all had hoodies on. The thing is I was the only one who had a backpack with me. The other ones had small "man bags"
I said before the train even left, that i didn't want to carry their hoodies. But during the day one of my friends asked if he could take his shirt into my backpack. I said no, even though I had plenty of room, purely of of principle. The others said I was being a jerk because they then had to carry their hoodies in their hands. But I think i am in the right because i told them I didn't want to carry their backpacks earlier.
​
So AITA for refusing to carry a hoodie, even though i easily could have, purely out of principle? ###### | NTA: They could have brought their own backpacks, or just not have worn hoodies. Checking the weather is not hard. You are not obligated to be their coat rack because they didn't prepare. ###### |
Just to note - I'm a 3rd year paramedic student (in my country it's a 4 year degree). Not that it really makes a lot of difference here though.
I have a friend who's been constantly complaining for roughly 2 months now about feeling horribly sick. I believe her, especially within the past week she's looked sick. When asked about symptoms, it's all pretty vague - nonspecific generalized lower abdominal pain, malaise, intermittent fever, headache, etc.
It's every day she's complaining about being sick, and she refuses to go to the doctor because of the current events. I've just been letting her complain to me, and it's pretty annoying. I believe her, it's just overwhelming to hear all the time. It's only 10AM, and she's already started - so I told her to either go to the doctor or stop complaining to everyone. She's angry.
AITA? ###### | NTA: there are online appointments she could make with doctors, and i think nthat what you said is reasonable ###### |
My fiance and I have been together for almost 3 years, we got engaged 3 days before I found out I was pregnant.
He wanted me to get an abortion or give the baby up for adoption because he said we weren't ready.
I said I wasn't comfortable doing that as I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
I wasn't supposed to be able to have children so getting rid of what I see as a miracle would destroy me.
I told my fiance that he could leave, sign of his rights if he wanted to, I wouldnt hold it against him and I wouldn't go after him for child support or anything.
He had been on and off again supportive but never left. Our son is 2 months old and my fiance snaps at him, says rude things to him, etc because "he's a baby and he won't remember it" but there's a lot of anger towards the baby.
I don't want my son to be raised in a household where there's resentment and I feel like that's how it will be.
So am I the asshole for keeping my son which is causing turmoil within my fiance and for my son to be raised with a father who shows the resentment? ###### | NTA: That is your son. In terms of importance, your son comes first. He is your direct responsibility. It seems your fiance didn't want children and that's in his right to feel that way. Have you spoken to your fiance about his behavior? Maybe he feels trapped in the relationship or doesn't like that he is no longer your one and only. Your son deserves a family full of love, even if that family doesn't include your fiance. Stay strong 💖 ###### |
So a bit of a back story I'm a 16 year old Male and was extremely close to my aunt.
So today as of writing this my family and I were informed of my aunts will. She was a business owner and very wealthy so obviously she had lots of assets like houses, cars and many other things.
Her two main countries for trading in was spain and England, now after reading the will she has entrusted me with all the assets in spain (Villa and two other properties) and her children were not happy to say the least... they've been threatening to take legal action and what not and I pretty much responded with go ahead.
They've now told everyone In my family that I'm a greedy asshole for not relinquishing the property to them.
AITA? ###### | NTA: She wanted you to have it. Her children need to respect that. It sounds like they are the greedy ones. ###### |
Hello there! I'm a very friendly person and I'll chat with anyone and I always keep things light, casual, and non-committal because I love my space and privacy.
I logged into Facebook after YEARS off and decided to join my neighborhood community group of homeowners. Afterwards, a few of my neighbors requested to add me as a friend. I had no problem with that.
We would casually chat over posts and comments, nothing ever more serious than 'Star Wars is awesome!', etc.
A neighbor who had requested me posted something about minimalism and I commented that I used to live in a tiny home and how great it was. She mentioned she and her husband did, too and we both have Huskies so we LOL'd online about how much vacuuming we have to do.
She then immediately sends me a private message (1st time she comminutes privately) and says:
'Please don't message on my personal Facebook page like you know me.'
'I have never met you in my entire life'
'You have a lot of audacity or you're just rally (sic) lonely'
I replied back 'I've obviously upset and offended you and that wasn't my intention. I'm going to unfriend you now'.
She replied back 'I already unfriended you' and I replied 'Thanks' and that was that.
I'm so baffled. I have a bit of social anxiety and I would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable. I ended up deactivating my Facebook and making my Instagram and Twitter private.
AITA here? I'm not sure what I did to elicit such a reaction from a neighbor. ###### | NTA: she friended you, you commented on her post- nothing at all warranting someone to get upset. My gut is telling me she has a jealous and controlling husband. Are you an attractive guy? I wouldn’t be surprised if the husband was the one who messaged. ###### |
My ex wife and I got divorced because she was cheating on me. We had one child, my daughter who is now 3. We got the divorce finalized in January and she voluntarily gave me full custody.
We haven’t been in contact since. I didn’t block her because I wasn’t planning on preventing her from being part of my daughters life if she changed her mind. Today she texted me that it would have been nice to hear from me for Mother’s Day. I responded that she’s not really a mother, she just gave birth. She got pissed off and she blocked me. I feel like I perhaps shouldn’t have said that and I went too far, but at the same time she cheated and I don’t really feel bad.
AITA? ###### | NTA: she chose to leave and she chose not to be a mother...she just donated her eggs to you pretty much. Soldier on and raise your daughter to be the best she can be ###### |
I own a very successful restaurant chain in my area, which I am the founder, owner, and CEO of.
I named the restaurant after my two children, and we are very well known across several states.
Problem is, years after I launched the restaurant, I had a third child.
Now that my last child has gotten older, they've realized that they are not included in the name of the restaurant.
It's also worth mentioning that this restaurant is one that school kids, as well as college kids, and adults, often frequent. PLUS, it is providing ALL of my children college tuition, as well as a little extra along the way.
Back to the gist of the story...
My last child is all of a sudden up in arms and demanding I change the name of the restaurant so that the name will include them, too.
I refused.
We have been a staple amongst the locals across several states for MANY years. They know us. They know our name. If we change now, it will only cause problems and confusion.
Worth noting again***
To make up for this, I have named several dishes on my menu after my third child so that they no longer feel excluded.
So, AITA for not renaming my old, well known restaurant after my third child? ###### | NTA: naming some dishes was an appropriate response. ###### |
I’m gonna keep this short because I’m getting madder by the second.
So me and my boyfriend plan to move in together after New Years. We both live at home with our families right now and we’re just too old for this and need our privacy. The big problem per the title is that his high school age sister has a dog that she got last year. Now I advised them that she shouldn’t get a dog because she’s always out with friends and will be going to college in 2 years anyways and won’t be able to take him since she’ll be so busy.
Now fast forward to now and he’s telling me in-a-matter-of-fact way that he is going to take over the dog when she leaves for college next year, when we will be living together. I do not want a dog. I don’t want to pay the deposit on having a dog at the apartment. I have had a dog my entire life and I know they cost time and money that we won’t have. Mostly him because he works long hours and all the responsibilities will fall on me. Neither of them are experienced pet owners. He’s a big dog, which I had from experience and I loved them but it kinda sucks. He’s also loud every time someone moves. I’m mad. I’m mad that this was just decided upon and I’m supposed to go along with it. I want to tell him that I don’t want to live with him if he’s bringing this dog that was never my responsibility to begin with. Is that rude?
Like I get it’s his sister’s dog and he doesn’t want the dog to be alone but there’s 3 more people in the house who can take care of him, who currently take care of him! He just volunteered! ###### | NTA: It is very mature of you to place firm boundaries about not wanting to take in a big dog. You know that he won’t be able to take care of the dog, and you don’t want to. So you are being mature by not allowing the dog to move in. Just insure you have a mature sit down and don’t make it into an argument. ###### |
For context : My brother and sister in law have a one year old. I have a one and a half year old. I am a stay at home mom. My husband is doing online nursing classes and the majority of his time is filled with studying. My sister in law is working from home since the lock down (she has a desk job that is primarily done on the computer) and my brother has been staying home for the most part to watch the baby. He still works, but his hours have been cut dramatically.
Today I get a text from my brother asking if I can watch my nephew for an hour at the most while my sister in law works at home. He has a mandatory work meeting he must attend. To me, an hour doesn’t seem like a significant amount of time to watch a toddler and do your work. Lots of people do it on a daily basis. She mainly looks at spreadsheets all day. I used to work along side her so I know what her job entails more or less. Annoyed, I indicated I thought an hour was silly, but that I would watch my nephew if he dropped him off at my house. My brothers route to work requires him to pass right by house anyways. I do not receive a response.
Befor long, my mother calls to tell me my sister in law is throwing a fit and will not allow my brother to drop my nephew off at my house. My brother was fine with it, but she is not. She wants me to come to their house. As a result, my brother misses his mandatory work meeting so that he can stay home and watch the baby while she works from home.
My mom said she feels bad for my brother and since he is family I probably should have just gone over there. My sister in law has always been a very selfish my-way-or-the-highway type of person and I feel I should not have to accommodate her every request. If she really needed me, I offered to watch him at my own house alongside my own child.
So reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA: In the immortal words of Samuel L. Jackson. Stay the fuck at home.
That means you and your sisters family stay away from each other. ###### |
Girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, living together for 2, she's 20F and I'm 21F
From what I've been told she was raised in a household where it was very "waste not want not"(?) And anything that so much as touched your plate got ate, no matter how full you are.
My girlfriend lives by that, she physically can't help it, I once watched her eat an entire plate of food, despite saying she was full less than half way and then be sick and continue to eat because she didnt want food wasted.
She has been getting counselling for the last 3-4 months but progress takes time.
Her mother recently came to visit us, we told her the issue and what we're doing is very small plates.
So, she insists on cooking and dishing up and every time it's been huge plates.
Her argument is that my girlfriend is an adult, obviously true, but she can't help it.
We've talked and argued several times.
I had enough and asked her to leave, she left after arguing about how my girlfriends an adult etc.
My girlfriend is fine with it, she never had a relationship with her mother anyway.
My mother said I was an AH and said that MIL was right, we should've set boundaries and not let her cook and I shouldn't have been involved.
We tried not to let her cook and it didnt work.
AITA? ###### | NTA: If her mother cant respect your wishes in your own home, she is TA and needs to go. Period. ###### |
So I (F/22) at the moment live with my family. Sadly our apartment isn't huge so I'm sharing a room with my brother (18), always had. Now this might sound childish from my perspective, but it is what it is and I can't take it anymore. He pretty much has a routine - almost every day goes to sleep at around 10pm and wakes up at 7am. I usually go to bed at around midnight and sleep at least until 9am. When he wakes up, he doesn't care about anything else but himself. He opens up the curtains to the fullest (so that the light could come in); opens and closes drawers with a bang; when leaving the room, literally smashes the door; sometimes he even plays the dang music. Basically it's like there's no one else in the room. The proper way would be to just tell him, right? Tried before. He literally says: "I don't fkin care, maybe it's time to sleep less".
Now when I go to sleep (which is later than him) and he's already asleep, I literally try my best to be as silent as possible (I don't even know why I do this anymore). I could be turning on this small table lamp (so I could see things in the dark) and he'll literally start complaining. I thought about doing this thing where I act like I don't care either and when I go to sleep, I could just do the same things he does, so that he knows what it feels like. The only problem is that I don't like being mean, I'm not the type of person. Literally feel like I would be the asshole here, would I?
Also it triggers me even more considering I suffer from insomnia and I'm lucky enough if I fall asleep at like 6am and get to sleep for 3 hours. From yesterday literally started sleeping on the couch in another room... ###### | NTA: Id first tell your parents your plan. Maybe they can tell him its THEIR house and you both get to use it with regards to other people. But yeah its not that mean to give him a taste of his own medicine. ###### |
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