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I used to go to a gym nearby and that closed down. I got some stuff on Amazon and have a pretty decent home gym. I have had some of my former gym members come by and use my place. I have them use it one at a time and wipe things down after they leave.
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There is this girl call her Karlee. Karlee a while back told some other people that I and some other guys at the gym were checking her out. And just to paint the picture she is not at all attractive and pretty overweight. I never checked her out nor stared too long. I think she honestly said it just to get attention.
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When she asked if she could drop by I told her, that I don't feel comfortable with having more people at my house. She started begging me, if she could only come Sunday mornings. I told her no, then next day she starts messaging me again if I have reconsidered. Flat out I don't want her in my house someone that is this much trouble at my gym will only cause more trouble in my dwelling. She thinks of me as an a-hole. ###### | NTA: I'd straight up tell her that the remarks made you uncomfortable and you wouldn't feel comfortable being alone with someone who felt that way about you. ###### |
2 weeks ago my wife was facing covid symptoms, she tested negitive about a week or so ago. One of her oldest friends was hosting about a 20 person party for her gender reveal. I told her we shouldn't go because she got over covid and I never had it. We would be break state curfue and social distance. I told her to simply call her the next day and say what happened and talk to her. Am I the asshole for not letting my wife see her friend's during this pandemic? ###### | NTA: I don't like the phrasing "not letting her go" but the sentiment is right. This woman needs to sit her behind at home during this pandemic. People like her friend are not doing their part to help society fight the various. There is a reason that these restriction are in place, ###### |
My husband is an avid computer gamer - mostly WoW-type games. Approximately five nights of the week, he'll play games online from the time that our son goes to bed at 8:00 or 8:30 to about 12:30, so at least four continuous hours. That in itself is not at all an issue for our relationship. He spends plenty of time with me and our son, and I have my own hobbies that he isn't interested in that I engage in when he's online.
A few nights ago I was doing laundry while he was playing online, and I stepped on a toy that my son had left on the basement stairs. I fell pretty hard and dropped the basket. Luckily because of the way my weight was shifted I fell backwards rather than forwards, resulting in a bruise on my butt but I was otherwise fine. The laundry basket clattered down the stairs, ricocheted off some basement furniture, shot laundry everywhere. It was a huge racket. It woke up my son. My husband, who had his headphones on, heard literally nothing.
It dawned on me that if something really bad happened to me, my husband wouldn't know about it for potentially four hours - like what if I broke my leg falling down the stairs? So I asked if he would be willing, for my peace of mind, to just pop out of his office at the mid-point each night just to check on me. Like literally, just say hi and go back to gaming. He thinks this is a huge overreaction and a waste of time. I know for a fact that he isn't actively playing the entire time and he sometimes takes breaks to go to the bathroom or get a snack or whatever, so how is this different? AITA? ###### | NTA: I do it all the time for my wife, don’t see why he can’t. ###### |
I (10 M cat) was sleeping very comfortably in my owners' (36 M, 31 F) bed with them one evening when I suddenly had the urge to swat the guy with my paw a number of times and tickle him with my tail. For some reason he didn't take kindly to this, so he kicked me out of the bed, as he does many nights. He's a very mean person in this respect.
So I naturally then just do my thing. Fifteen minutes later my owners' son (3 M) comes into their bed asking if he can sleep with them. The guy tells him he doesn't think it's early morning yet, and starts to help the kid back to bed, when he notices the kid is covered in pee. Naturally he thinks it was a bedtime accident, and so takes him to the bathroom to change his pajamas, give him a bath, and gently explain that he should be more careful about going to the bathroom before bedtime, but it's ok. The kid for some reason doesn't take kindly to second bath at 2AM with really bright lights while half-asleep, hearing about bathroom time yet again, and is very upset. After calming him down, the guy takes the kid to the couch so he could change the sheets....when he discovered there's no way the kiddo could have made such a big mess, and it clicked why the underwear wasn't even that wet.
I'll own up to it: it was me. I peed in the kids bed. I was just so angry at being kicked out of their bed! But all of this could have been avoided if he just ignored my pawing and tickling, and let me have like a third of the bed to myself with him as a toy. Really, it's on him.
AITA? ###### | NTA: he’s a tenant in your home and can live by your rules ###### |
I owned a really, really nice 2 door, droptop sports car when we were first together. My boyfriend has kids. I don’t. I never wanted kids but, they come along with him, so I have indulged in step-parenthood and spend time with them playing, doing sports, homework, look after them when they’re sick, surprise them with random nice things, talk to them about girl issues and life. He pays the child maintenance but I obviously spend money on the food and drink when they are here as well as a lot over birthdays and Christmas. I feel I give a lot to them.
My car was a manual. He only drives automatic. He has always pushed me to sell my car and get a 4 seater so I can also use my car for the kids. And automatic for convenience so we can both drive each other’s cars if needs be. I held firm.
BUT In the 3rd year if our relationship my boyfriend lost his job.
I sold my sexy 2 door sporty droptop to support us. It hurt and I felt I was losing a part of myself honestly but it had to be done.
We have since been carpool sharing his 4 seater little family car.
Now in our 4th year together we have had a small joint windfall. Both agree we should buy me a car.
* He wants me to get a reliable family car.
* No droptop.
* 4 seats minimum.
* Automatic so he can also drive.
In my heart I really want to have another sports car. Specifically the sexy 2 seater manual drive I had before. Only a much cheaper version.
I can probably compromise with a 4 door automatic droptop but in my price range they’re all so ugly compared to what I had and not really what I want.
AITA for being selfish and wanting my private fun car or should I be thinking of the whole family more?? ###### | NTA: edited to add a judgment
INFO what possessions of his did he sell when he became unemployed? And did he regularly leave the children in your care while going off to work/ with friends?
You sold your most prized possession to fully support him (and his kids, when he had custody of them), but it does not seem like he made the same sacrifices. It is clear you have already thought of the family and put them first, getting the kind of car you had before would just be making yourself “whole” again after the loss of your car. It sounds like he has been selfish this entire time.
I don’t understand why it is so necessary that he be able to drive your car in the first place, but if it is so important why won’t he learn how to drive a manual car? Instead you have to buy an automatic to accommodate him? And then since you’ve already accommodated him a little, now you must accommodate him more by having enough seats to fit his children in it as well!
You can drive his car, so if he wants you to drive him and his children around then you should be taking his car anyways. And he shouldn’t be leaving his children with you and going off elsewhere (other than a quick trip to the store or something), so he shouldn’t be able to pull the “in an emergency your car wouldn’t be able to fit both my kids.” It seems like he wants to set up a situation where he has ability to leave the kids with you and go elsewhere, giving you all the responsibility of looking after his own kids.
He clearly wants you to be taking on more responsibility for his children, which it is not okay that he has seemingly made this decision on his own. That should be a conversation between you two, rather then him nagging and making demands to buy the car of his choice. He does not get to unilaterally decide that you will be taking an active role in parenting his children. You knew he had children and agreed to stepmom role, but being the only person making sacrifices for the good of the family is decidedly outside of the scope of “stepmom” role. ###### |
I had to record a speech for an online course, and my newborn would not stop crying the entire time I tried filming the speech. So I picked her up and was pretty much holding her to my chest the entire time that I was filming. My s/o was at work and I had to get this video in, and the only way I could finish the filming was if I held my baby for the entire 10 minutes, or I’d have to hear her screaming in the background of my video. (And no I could not have someone come over and help me out, for obvious reasons).
Well when I uploaded the video, my classmates had to make comments on my body language and presentation of the speech that I was giving. All of the comments were saying that I was using my newborn for a better grade and that it was unfair to everyone else, how since I was holding her they wouldn’t be able to properly critique my speech, stuff like that. The comments didn’t necessarily bother me, it was more so how my professor reacted to my video.
She sort of reacted the same way as the students. She told me that I wasn’t being fair to my classmates and ended up giving me a zero on the assignment. I asked her if I could record it again when my s/o is off of work the next day, however at that point it would’ve already been late as she didn’t give us feedback until this morning which was 3 days past the due date. She isn’t giving me the option to re-do my speech because I apparently “took advantage” of having a newborn and tried to purposely use an advantage against my classmates to try and get a better grade.
Side note: all of my professors this semester were aware that I was going to have a baby a few weeks ago, as I informed them of my situation before the semester even begun. ###### | NTA: Contact your department chair and if they don't respond, the dean. This is getting into discrimination territory which they do not want on record if you were to go to the local paper or anything that would generate publicity. Also mention it on the end of year evaluations if your prof doesn't have tenure. ###### |
Sorry for the bad formatting, I’m on mobile.
Earlier today I wanted to get pizza, and was craving me some Papa John’s. So I ordered two large pepperoni and sausage pizzas, with a shitload of garlic bread and wings. The total order came out like $40 which doesn’t include tips.
Of course, when you’re ordering that much food in these unprecedented times, I figured it’d make sense to at least tip these workers risking their lives to simply deliver pizza. Takes a lot of guts to do that in my opinion.
Normally I would just give them cash, but because of everything going on I’d figure it would make more sense to just give them an online tip, so I generously gave the deliverer a $20 dollar tip.
It took over an hour for the pizza to get there, which was way longer than usual. When the delivery-woman showed up, she had this mean expression on her. I grabbed the food and asked her what was wrong.
She unloaded on me asking why I’m tipping her electronically. She was worried the government is gonna tax her now. She prefer getting tips the normal way because of that.
I explain her that was part of the reason (along with what’s going on) I gave her $20 dollars for a tip. She simply said that she would’ve preferred a $20 dollar bill and stormed off.
That shocked me for a bit. Not only did I not expect this from an employee on the clock, but I thought I was being generous with the tip
EDIT: For clarification the order wasn’t just for me. Didn’t mean to come off gluttonous ###### | NTA: a tip is a tip. Not everybody has cash on them. Every time I order online I normally tip that way. ###### |
I have a childhood friend, I don’t want to say she’s entitled but I suppose she is. She looks down on everyone she meets. Her way or no way.
Anyway, her birthday was a few days ago, and for the past few months she’s been asking me what I’m getting her for her birthday, and telling me what she wants. She also tells me the price range of what she wants cause she doesn’t want something “So cheap it hurts her eyes”.
Anyway, her birthday rolls around and since I’ve been extremely sick, and in the hospital, I couldn’t get her much. I got her an album of her favorite pop singer and a hoodie.
A few hours after my mom had brought it to her house, I get an angry call from her.
“Why didn’t you get what I asked for?! I didn’t want this at all! What’s wrong with you are you stupid?!”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get much, I’ve been in the hospital.”
“Well that’s what AMAZON is for!”
I put Amazon in all caps, cause she screamed it extremely loud.
She hangs up and I haven’t heard of her since.
AITA? I feel bad. ###### | NTA; she needs to be kicked down a peg. ###### |
Our house has a weird layout. My bedroom is downstairs, general living space and the bathroom are upstairs. To get to the shower, I have to walk up the stairs and through the living room. Each time I have a shower, I wrap myself in a towel and walk through the living room to go downstairs. It’s a bath sheet, it covers everything down to my knees. The only thing really showing is my shoulders. My Dad has said things a couple of times but I didn’t know it was a real issue. Today I was walking through the living room after my shower and he glared at me. I asked what was wrong and he said, “I guess I don’t have naked women in my house very often.” I said I wasn’t naked and I have worn dresses and other outfits more revealing than a towel. He just scoffed at me.
I can’t really get a bathrobe now. But too be honest I don’t really like them, and I don’t see why I should have to get one when a towel is really sufficient for a 5-sec walk through the living room. I never do it in front of company or anything. I guess I could get dressed in the bathroom but I like to lounge a bit and do skincare and hair care in my room before getting dressed.
AITA for doing this or is he the one overreacting? ###### | NTA; It’s really weird that your father is bothered by this. It’s almost creepy that he’s calling you a naked woman, when you’re his daughter in a towel. ###### |
So I’m a female (23)and my period pain has always been bad (I would pass out in those first few early ones or if I don’t take meds that work for me) BUT I learnt my lesson and now it’s not a walk in the park by any means but I manage.
My sister (20) REFUSES to take the same meds when her period starts, even though time and again we (my mom and I) have given them to her and they work.
This means that she does nothing to reduce her own pain until it gets to the point of vomiting and explosive diarrhea. Then cries that the pain is terrible and no one understands or cares. (We get up and help everytime )
At this point it’s to late to expect a quick turn around time on the meds so then it is crying and vomiting and pooping bonanza.
She does not seem to grasp that she could lesson her pain if she just listened to my mom and I and took the meds when the cramping begins.
Am I being to harsh? My mother feels that we should still be sympathetic every single time but I am over saying the same thing every month.
AITA for starting to lose my sense of compassion towards her and telling her she is on her own if she doesn’t want to try prevent this from happening in the future. Her and my mom are upset that I told her that this is the consequences of not listening and say I am not being compassionate. ###### | NTA; it's totally understandable that you are tired of helping take care of her, but it sounds like she needs serious medical help. I think you should encourage her to talk to her doctor - maybe frame it as "Look, it's really hard for me to see you be this sick." If she's unwilling to get help, or take pain meds, then you aren't on the hook for taking care of her. ###### |
Hiya reddit, this is a throwaway account.
I'm 25f and my younger (half) sister is 22f. She's supposed to be getting married in September if she doesn't have to reschedule the date.
I was at my step-mom (sister's mom) and dad's place this past weekend for father's day. My step-mom wanted to show me the "mother of the bride" dress she ordered that had just come in because she was so proud of how beautiful it was. The dress was white and lacy and floor length. It looked like a wedding dress to me. I told her as much and she waved it off saying how that tradition was old and didn't apply to moms anyways and my sister wouldn't mind.
I didn't think this was the case, and took a pic of the dress without my step-mom knowing and later that day sent it to my sister saying "this is what your mom plans on wearing to the wedding".
My sister said she DEFINITELY didn't approve that dress and ended up confronting her mom. Now my sister is upset with her mother, my step-mom is upset with me, and my dad is pissed I took a picture behind my step-mom's back AND he's mad at my step-mom for trying to go around my sister's wishes. Step-mom is also upset she has to return such a *beautiful* dress that cost like $300 or not be allowed in the wedding.
I was just trying to watch out for my little sister cause my step-mom has done shit like this before. AITA?
Edit: forgot to mention step-mom insisted he dress was off-white, not white. I know fuck all about dresses but I know off-white/eggshell/cream is just as inappropriate. ###### | NTA; if stepmom thought your sister wouldn't mind, she wouldn't have been so pissed about you showing your sister. ###### |
My SIL and BIL had a....quick romance. They started dating after a month of knowing each other, got engaged after 4 months of dating and got married a month after being engaged.
They'd planned on a year engagement but wanted to move in together. (Sex. They wanted to lose their virginity. Think Westboro Baptist 'Christian')
So, they announced that they were going to get married in a week via text message. They informed my parents in law that they would use their back yard and insisted that we all pitch in to help.
So, my hubby and his parents took off work to clean and renovat a rather neglected back yard. I was able to cut my hours to help as well.
I sewed her dress and her maid of honor gown. If those had been commissioned gowns, they'd have been 1,500 or so USD each. I didn't charge her for my time or material.
My husband bought a few thousand dollar worth of material to build a dance floor, upgrade the porch and other stuff.
Their 6th anniversary is happening soon and we got a text from my SIL. She pointed out that money is tight right now(shouldn't be but see another post about that). She asked me to please send money for the anniversary and too send money that I forgot to send for their wedding gift.
I pointed out that the gowns and WEDDING was her gift. She texted back that a dress to be worn once was hardly a good wedding present and I was a bitch ###### | Nta; I sew. I deliberately wore my mom’s wedding dress so that I wouldn’t put anyone through more trouble than just the dry cleaning and a few tacks. Also sentimental value. If there’s any one out there who thinks that drafting and sewing a dress, especially a wedding dress, is easy...please go suck an egg. ###### |
I'm 19, living with my parents. I have a small part time job that gets me around $800 a month, I give my parents $400 a month for bills, food and miscellaneous things around the house. I pay for my car registration, fuel and any other bills that directly involve me. I try and save as much as I can, and they know that I have a savings account. My parents are now asking that I contribute more money every month. I told them that I already give them half of the money I get, but they say that I shouldn't be saving up when the money could be used. I don't mind giving them the amount I already give them, but I don't feel like I am willing to give up more than 50% of my wage.
Edit:
* I am currently attending university. ###### | NTA; $400 is more than reasonable. But they're asking for more? And you're in college?
Wait, who's paying your tuition? ###### |
I just moved to my current apartment about six months ago. It comes with its own covered parking behind the apartments which are all clearly labeled and it's common knowledge that covered parking at apartments is usually reserved.
To be honest, I hadn't used the reserved covered parking for the first two or three months because there are a lot of one way roads and I didn't have the time to try and find my way. Eventually I figured it out and started using my spot. Someone parked there once about two weeks after I started using it so I put a note that said "Please don't park here again. It's reserved." I was able to find other parking and that was it. Lately, though, it's happening more often. I leave a friendly note and go about my day.
Today, I'm pissed. I come home and my spot is taken again. I leave a note saying, "Please don't park here. Covered parking is reserved." My neighborhood is SO congested that there is almost literally nowhere else to legally park. Plus, I pay a stupid amount in rent so I should be able to have my own freaking spot. I grab my dog and we take off to the dog park for about two hours. I come back and the car is still there. The note isn't in the same spot so I know someone read it.
I've emailed my landlord about it and they just brushed it off saying "We're put of the office at 5. There's nothing we can do" but there are signs saying reserved parking your car will be towed.
So, my question. Would I be the asshole if I called to have the person towed who keeps parking in my spot? ###### | NTA,tow driver here, its in your lease and you pay for it. As long as its documented in the lease you can call almost any tow company that does private property impound, and theyll tow it away at the owners expense. They knew what they were doing when they did it. When they go to the office to pick up the car their going to say every excuse to get it free, so don't feel bad. ###### |
So my background was a picture of a dog that said "what the FUCK is oatmeal" by the way my background is one behind either a fingerprint, a 15 digit code, or a face lock so to see my background you would have to look over my shoulder whick is exactly what my stepsister did and then snitched about to my father who demanded I change it because it was "traumatizing and a bad influence for her (she's 10) (just for info I'm allowed to swear but they aren't) so my dad's pissed off at me and giving me the silent treatment because I changed it to a inspirobot quote that said "spy on individuals you don't know.
So AITA
EDIT: changed the background to chesquick (cheese milk) ###### | NTA,
I can already tell how entitled your sister feels because of her precious and impressional age. Best of luck with that mess of manipulation. ###### |
My eldest daughter is in her 20s with two kids. She lives about an hour away. I still have 3 kids at home, work a full time job, etc. I do see her and my grandkids (or did before the whole world shut down) but it’s not often. Before the shut down, my daughter and I got into a fight and we’re still at a loss.
Like I said, I have 3 kids at home and work. I know my daughter is stressed and I do talk to her often. If she asks me to take my grandkids and I can, I will. However, I rarely offer because I rarely have the time or the energy to offer. This became a huge issue. My daughter recently told me that I should offer to watch her kids more and she shouldn’t have to ask. She says that she’s tired of her kids seeming like burdens. I said they’re not, but I don’t have time to watch them often. She said “You’re they’re grandma, you should want to.” I said “Maybe before you had two kids, you should’ve thought about childcare.” She got really mad and our communication since has been spotty at best.
I standby that while I love my grandkids, I shouldn’t feel guilty that I can’t and don’t want to watch them in all my spare time. She says I should. Am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA,
You do the crime, you do the time. ###### |
For my birthday I wanted to have dinner just with the two of us, no other family members were invited.
So on the night he picks me up and on our way to dinner we get a call from her. She has been out drinking with a friend and wants a ride. She could have asked her friend for a ride home or easily gotten a taxi as it wouldn't have cost much. She then over speaker phone starts saying I was the one who told you to call her (me) and make plans. My dad goes yeah but I was planning on ringing her anyway. She then starts saying about her kids (all of which are adults) that they wouldn't do that to him. Which is false because her kids did that many times when they started dating because they didn't like my dad.
So we arrive to pick her up and I am sitting in the front seat. She opens up the door and tells me to sit in the back. Nothing else was said like happy birthday or even hello. I didn't want to start an argument so I just moved to the backseat.
She then complains about how she told her friend she was out with that she was doing dinner with us and of course she couldn't then ask for a ride home.
This was untrue as he had let her know that it would just be the two of us. Then she turns to me and is all like so what's so wrong with me coming out to dinner with you guys. I repeat that I just want to spend time with my dad as we don't get to see each other very often. She then repeats about her kids and that it is super hurtful that we wouldn't invite her.
On the rest of the drive to drop her off she continues to try guilt us into letting her come with us. Luckily my dad refuses and says that she is not coming.
For context they have been together 3 years and it is a very rocky relationship. Neither myself or my brother (both adults) get on that great with her. She tolerates me but will not even talk about my brother and hates it when my dad talks about him. ###### | NTA,
You are not the asshole at all. Your dads partner sucks and I’m sorry she’s so annoying and tried to work her way into dinner plans like that.
Happy belated birthday!
I hope you had a good birthday despite the chaos ###### |
An old friend I knew from AA 15 years ago reached out for money saying she and her husband were broke due to covid and she had already exhausted family and friends. I said I would paypal her 100 bucks. No problem.
When she got the money she then texted, thanks and by the way she was still “ bouncing” (a term meaning unable to stay clean/sober and her drugs of choice is opiates).
So of course I started texting her asking if she was ok and if she was using. I said don’t worry about the money, I just want to make sure you are ok!!!
No response.. i tried again later that night and twice the next day. No response.
I reached out to a mutual acquaintance who informed me she “got me” and was using and had almost died from an overdose last year.
I texted her one more time and said I was sending the police to do a wellness check if she didn’t respond. I was freaking out she was going to OD on money I gave her. No response.
I called the non emergency number for local police in her town and told them I was concerned about her. They asked why and I said she may have relapsed. I didn’t say on what.
So they went to her house and she was fine and then my phone blew up with indignation and threats and profanity. Blocked.
So.. AITA?? ###### | NTA,
This "friend" pretty clearly used your money for drugs, and is mad that they got caught. ###### |
Every since the age of like 16 my brother got REALLY rude and disgusting. Like I know boys can be messy but he takes it to an 11. He leaves empty boxes of food in the cupboard, he refuses to shower cause he KNOWS I hate his BO, he on purposefully brings his armpits to my nose for me to smell his nasty BO and some other stuff but those are the big ones. I fucking hate it and I tell him as such but he always says stuff like "can't take a joke sis?" "get over yourself" or "Your not in charge of me."
Hes disgusting and I hate being around him, he recently did something tho that I am even shocked by. He left a towel in the middle of my room..........BUT the towel had literal shit on it. I nearly threw up and I threw the whole towel away. I opened up a window in my room and smell is gone but thats just too far.
I went to confront him about this and all he could fucking do was laugh. (this is where I maybe the ass) I lost it and said "You are a disgusting fucking animal, can you not be a fucking dickhead for 1 day? Holy shit" I then slammed the door to his room. I didn't know but he was on the phone with mom and when she came home she took away his gaming consoles for a week for bothering me and I got 2 weeks without my phone cause I caused the fight. AITA? ###### | NTA,
Talk to your parents about this. And let him know that next time he leaves a towel like that in your room it will get rubbed all over his gaming console and controllers.
See if he still believes it to be funny then. ###### |
I have a new roommate in a share house. There's a few of us here, all young adults.
My new roommate wants to give music lessons to children and I said no.
I said no mainly because I am uncomfortable with having children at the house. This is a young adults share house where we all study and work. We are often home during the day, have boyfriends and girlfriend's over, have sex and so on.
It seems inappropriate to bring children into this environment.
I also have noise concerns, as the rest of us are often home during when these lessons would be, trying to study and relax.
But my main issue I don't really like kids, I don't think it's appropriate for kids to be around strange adults coming and going and I don't want kids hanging around my house.
AITA for saying no to the music lessons? ###### | NTA,
Parents will probably be uncomfortable with it too, imagine turning up to your 7 year olds music teachers house to find a bunch of other people roaming around, it would be strange and unprofessional.
Roommate is better going to the students houses to teach. ###### |
my wife has been avoiding me for a couple months now. I thought it was stress. I lost my job, and was fully at home for nearly 3 weeks, and she started working more. Thing is, she would be 2-3 hours late coming home from work. One night, she didnt come home at all. I felt bad for her working so hard, so I made everything here as easy as possible while I looked for a new job. I ended up getting a new job fast enough that we didnt miss a paycheck, but she was still so distant, and still working extra. on my second day of work at the new job, she left for an errand the moment I got home. We have 2 daughters (1 and 2 1/2), so I went to get them from a nap, only to see my wifes ipad open, and receiving messages. some about me, but mostly about the guy shes been seeing for the last 2 weeks. I didnt mean to see them, but I couldnt look away, and she is furious at me for seeing them. I was served divorce papers yesterday, and have been getting messages from her friends saying that im the worst for reading those. Im thinking that if I hadnt seen them, I never would have known about the other guy, and her plan to take the kids to him. so, AITAH for reading my wifes messages? ###### | NTA, your wife is a cheater, a disloyal coward. Just get your ducks in a row for the legal proceedings and be done with her ###### |
Bit of context: my sister is abusive as all hell. She’s thrown me into walls and belittles me every chance she gets, and yet expects me to like her.
I got married in late July last year. My husband and I agreed to a family-and-closest-friends wedding almost immediately, since family alone was almost 50 people and it would be in his parents back yard. We also agreed that we didn’t want more than just the best man and maid of honor up there with us. I immediately asked my best friend to be my maid of honor. When I went to try on dresses it was just my mother, sister, and my husband’s sister as my best friend was out of town. On the way there, we were talking about the dress for my best friend. At this point I hadn’t even had a chance to tell my sister about the decision as this was only a week after getting engaged and I had been so busy. While talking about the styles my best friend had found for her dress, my sister asked “well is it going to look good on everyone?” which is when I had to tell her she wouldn’t be in the wedding. She was mad, which I understand. She was so cold to everyone during the dress appointment and only looked kind of happy when I found my dress. It made the whole thing really awkward. After that she wasn’t very involved in the planning. I offered for her to get ready with us on the day of the wedding and she refused and the day of she clearly wasn’t very happy and left without saying goodbye right after pictures were done. I got comments from a couple of people throughout the planning process that I should have had her in the wedding, but why would I want someone who has hurt me that badly up there with me? I keep questioning if I made the right choice. AITA for not wanting her up there? ###### | NTA, your wedding therefore it’s your decision. I understand that sisters are supposed to be MOH, but I’m sure there are exceptions for asshole sisters such as yours. Don’t feel bad, especially since you said she wasn’t very involved anyways and was sulking about the situation throughout the entire wedding process. ###### |
My step mom has been my step mom since I’ve been 5. We have a decent relationship but it’s been rocky as of lately. I caught her purging after meals for the last few months. I don’t know if it began during quarantine or I just noticed because I’m always home. My step mom has always been critical of my weight and my half sisters. She criticized us for years, but since I was in sports and stuff I was always fit, I didn’t receive it as bad as my sisters. Last night, she screeched at my sister for eating past 8pm and called her fat and that she will never amount to anything because of her lack of “self control.” She started attacking me too because I defended my sister and called me piece of shit and that I looked like a man. I ended saying that she also doesn’t have self control because if she did, she wouldn’t need to throw up after she eats. That caused a big fight between us and my dad got involved and well, I’m in big shit now. ###### | NTA, your step-mom has her own mental health issues going on right now and it is manifesting as her trying to control everyones weight around her. It is her own food insecurities peeking out from behind the curtain. ###### |
I'm a guy. Me and my sister still live with our parents. My sister has a girlfriend. I woke at a store that sells a lot of clothes. I get really nice discounts on stuff I buy there. My sister's girlfriend asked me if I could buy a bra for her from there, and then she'd pay me back. Its a specific and fairly expensive kind of bra. She'd save money this way. I said sure and did it. Didn't think much of it.
After I mentioned buying it to my sister, she got very angry at me. Saying its super innapropriate and pervy. She even asked me if I was attracted to her girlfriend (I'm not). She even told me that if her gf ever wore it during sexy time it'd kill the mood since she'd think about me. Our mom is on my sister's side. My girlfriend and all my female friends said I did nothing wrong and my sister is overreacting. I really didn't have bad intentions. ###### | NTA, your sister seems to have insecurities about her relationship and is trying to make a mountain out of a molehill.
You did her gf a favour, which was a nice thing for you to do. (And bras are *expensive* so I understand her gf’s idea of asking you, she shouldn’t have to run it by your sister either - it’s just clothing). ###### |
(Sorry for any spelling mistakes, but english is not my mother tongue)
So... Our new neighbors that are from China have just moved to the flat in front of us and invited my family and I to have a wonderful dinner to get acquaintance and to eat some of their traditional food after my dad gave them a fruit basket as a “welcome-gift” with our local fruits... My sister didn’t went because “she doesn’t like asians, and its because of them that we have pollution, illnesses, and overpopulation”, and the typical racist speech of a closed minded person... once we ate dinner and had a good time, they gave us a dish called “mantou” with different shapes and forms... i recall one of them was with the shape of a flower and a piggy...! And also some Sake.... My mom, dad and I were so eager and happy to eat them the morning after and to share it with my sister...and my grandparents that were gonna visit us the day after...
Once we got home and told her what they gave us... She proceed to DROP THE DISHES AND THE DRINK IN THE TRASH...! Saying “oh. I dont want any of those things here in the house”, and a bunch of racial slurs i don’t wanna mention here... i got so mad and called her an entitled racist bitch. How dare she do that to people who she doesn’t even know and that’s giving us food as a gift...! Later my mom heard that and started to takes sides with my sister, that I shouldn’t have called her that and that “she haves her reasons”. We had a big argument after that and told me to “apologize” to my sister for what i said. But i told my mom that i am not apologizing until my sister personally apologized to our neighbors explaining what she did. Then my mom told me that i am a selfish brother, that i don’t care about my sisters feelings... so AITA?
Edit: no... we didn’t had this dinner meanwhile the pand. emic happens, this dinner happened a month ago. While here in my country (ecuador) we were with zero cases of it.!! (Just explaining) ###### | NTA, your sister is racist and it sounds like she’s pretty set in her thinking. Because of that, I don’t think it’s right that she apologizes to your neighbors. Yes, she was extremely racist, but your neighbors just had a lovely meal with you and your parents. Putting your sister on their doorstep is a good way to make sure that never happens again, and it also puts their safety at risk since they’re on the defensive. Also, talk to your mother and try to have them see why they shouldn’t allow your sister to be racist in their home. ###### |
Last week my BIL was arrested for domestic assault. He is out pending a hearing and is at my house because he isnt allowed near his wife for minimum 30 days. All day he has been whining about it and I told him off. He got drunk and threw something at her head and pinned her against the wall. He deserves what he gets imho. I dont want him here as we should be helping his wife and kids at this point not him but my husband is a softy about his brother and begged me to let him stay. I'm angry that he thinks this is all inconveniencing him. Husband says in being a jerk about it but I think I'm being fairly nice all things considered.
So AITA for not being more hospitable? ###### | NTA, your SIL needs and deserves comfort more I'd say. ###### |
Hello fellow assholes, first off thank you for giving my some perspective on my previous post about me and my wife. It helped us start a conversation and reach a better position in our marriage.
My wives cousin let’s call her Sara wants to move in with us because she recently had her second baby and wants more room to raise her family. Both me and my wife were the first people to marry outside our races and we came from very different backgrounds. My wife is huge on family and I’m not so much.
My wives family has lived with us before her aunt lived with us lived with us for two years when she fell on hard times till she got a good job and moved out. Her other cousin lived with us for a year after getting out of prison until he also got a job and moved out, I was fine with all of this.
I am not ok with Sara moving in with us, Sara is a single mother of two kids who lives completely off government assistance, government housing, utilities, food stamps you name it. Tax dollars provide her entire life. She has been doing this for 7 years, has no job and does not intend to get one. I fully believe she just wants to live with us to have a bigger and better house and lifestyle. If she moves in she will never move out. She lives in low income New Jersey housing we live in a 6 bedroom in Minnesota.
She says he have the room and it’s our duty to help out family, I told her I’m not willing to help a grown woman who doesn’t want to help herself. So am I the asshole? ###### | NTA, your right in she has no interest of moving out ###### |
Long story short, my partner is not from my country, and recently went back to their to see their family. Since they didn't knew how long they would be gone, and how they would go back due to flight restrictions due to the Corona crisis, they asked if I would be okay to buy the ticket back, which they would refund later when they get their salary further down the month.
Of course I agreed, anything to help of course. I said I'd transfer them the necessary amount or buy the ticket myself if needed.
A week later the prices for the tickets gets down a little and they ask me if they can use my card, which I interpreted by just buying it for them. But no, they quite literally want me to send my credit card numbers through message so they can buy it themselves using my card.
That is, to me, a full stop no, reinforced by the fact that I've had recent hacking attempts on my account. Nothing too serious, just people trying to get into my emails, but enough to get me slightly paranoid and make delete my card off on most website I use.
I'm completely okay with buying the ticket, or sending the money, but they kept arguing that I didn't trust them, that I was paranoid, and that they wanted to do it the way they wanted. I do understand their point of view, they want to make sure they get back, but in my opinion, since I'm part of the help, I should have a say in how this is done, and I refuse to send those kind of informations through messages. It's quite literally the one thing people tell you not to do!
Now they are mad, telling me I lied when I said I wanted to help...
So, AITA? ###### | NTA, your partners behaviour is ungrateful and seems fishy to me ###### |
I(16F) live with my parents and 11 siblings. I'm the 4th kid, and the ages range from 20 to 1. We live in a 4 bedroom house, but it is so cramped with everyone in bunks and no privacy. My parents also put most of the responsibility of the younger kids on us while they lay down and watch TV. True, they can have their breaks but they take them so often that I don't really get to be a teenager.
Last night, after my mom told me to but J+A(3) to bed, I told her to do it herself as I need to study. She said that it is my responsibility as an older child. I lost my temper and told her that she can't take care of her 12 kids as it is, and that she should give up her dream of 15 children because she’s depriving the younger ones of a better life. AITA?
TL;DR My mom has 12 kids and wants 15, and I lost my temper and said that she shouldn’t have any more because she can’t take care of all of them as it is. ###### | NTA, your parents want 15 kids in a 4 bedroom house? What the fuck? ###### |
When I was a baby my grandmother used to hand sew me a birthday dress every year, and a matching one for my favourite doll. The dresses were beautifully smocked and must have taken weeks to sew. It was a bit of a tradition. I’ve been keeping these dresses (left with my mother in my childhood home) for the last 30 odd years thinking that one day I’ll pass them down to my own daughter. Well today is my nieces first birthday and my mom sends me a picture of niece in my dress that I was keeping. I’m fuming! My mom doesn’t think it’s a big deal and refuses to apologise for giving it to her. She says she’ll get the dress back when my niece outgrows it. But I can’t help think that the dress will be torn or stained , and also it’s my dress that I’ve been keeping for my own child and I don’t want my niece to wear it. AITA? ###### | NTA, your mum should have asked - it's your property! Can you explain the situation to your niece's parents? If they're reasonable people then they will understand the sentimentality behind the dress. In the meantime, get the rest of the dresses from your mum's house before she can give any more away! ###### |
I (17f) have a variety of socks. They range from the regular knee high patterned ones, to knit socks, to old fashioned lace ones. I don’t collect them or anything, I just like having different kinds of socks. I live with my dad (56m), and he knows that I buy socks fairly regularly. He doesn’t have an issue with it.
Since the world went to shit, I’ve been stuck at my mom’s (52f). The other day, I was on amazon, and I got recommended these really nice looking socks, with little stars sewn on them, and lace along the top. I ordered them (with my own money) and they got here yesterday.
My mom found the box, and opened it before I even knew it arrived. She found them, and then came into my room and started screaming at me. She told me that I shouldn’t be buying stuff to wear during sex or something, and I was confused. Apparently the socks were actually stockings, which isn’t sexual in any way in my opinion, but my mom thought otherwise.
She told me I was being a slut for buying these things, and told me that she was going to look for any more “slutty clothing”, and proceeded to go through my clothes, throwing anything she deemed sexual out. This resulted in most of my clothing.
My crop tops, shorts, socks with any sort of lace on them, and underwear that wasn’t boy cut got thrown out, leaving me with very little clothing left. I called my dad and told him about it, Mom overheard and told me it was my fault for buying “sexy socks.”
AITA for buying “sexy socks”? ###### | NTA, your mum has some issues. If these are all clothes you have bought with your own money she has no business throwing them out ###### |
Follow up on my previous post[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/di82hm/aita_told_moms_boyfriend_was_being_a_cnt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Basically I (19m) got into a fight with my mums boyfriend after he berated me for disrespecting my mother for there being clothes pegs on the ground and it ended with him calling me a little asshole and me saying he’s being a c*nt. Realising this blowup would wreck my mums relationship I tried to apologise twice, one of those times in front of my mum to prove I was being sincere.
He broke up with my mother for the second time in a month over this and said they could get back together if she kicks me out of the house immediately. She called up her family and caused all this drama to try and kick me out and although most were sympathetic they said I should leave. So after my semester at uni finished last year I have left home and am living with a flat mate and my sister who’s relationship with my mum is also strained.
My mother never got together with her boyfriend and has met a new guy who is amazing and hates the last boyfriend for what he did.
My mum has pretended like she never kicked me out and we still see each other every week for dinner. She never apologised for choosing her boyfriend over me and it’s always bugged me knowing she doesn’t have my back. My relationship with her side of the family is pretty strained now and although I love my mum and tried to work things out with her it’s been 6 months since I left home and I still kind of resent her.
WIBTA if I cut her off? ###### | Nta, your mother is a grown woman and she made her choice and she was not in a abusive relationship she kick u out to be in one.
I got a shity mom a junkie mom who smoked all my savings when I was 14 when I was on the run last year u know who got my back my mom
For all her faults an pain she caused she got my back and I'm on low contact with her compared to your mom she is mother of the year. ###### |
My younger sister is expecting a baby girl despite the fact she and her husband have struggled with finances since 2009, when they got married. Anyway, she texted me saying that she needed a loan of $200 for something related to the unborn baby girl, and I, being a teacher on summer vacation, cannot afford that. My boyfriend is a surgeon, but I don't want to rely on him financially for something like this.
When I turned her down, she got really mad and was like "Okay, so you don't care about your niece then. I guess you do really want us to put her up for adoption." I was like "Well...sorry, but I have to look out for myself first." She hung up on me angrily, and then after that, my mom and siblings all got mad at me.
I questioned why THEY didn't help her out financially, and they said
"Oh we contributed too, and we thought you'd be willing to help them out." Like do they not understand I am a TEACHER? I don't make that much and just spent a ton of money on gifts for my boyfriend's daughter. AITA in this situation? ###### | NTA, your money your choice in this situation. You can't afford to which is understandable and it's not like you don't want to have a niece you just can't afford it. Unless she has done something of equal contribution and a similar situation towards you then I'mma gonna go with n.t.a. ###### |
I’m 15f. My mom is 35f. Before the pandemic started, my mom’s friend and her two kids (friend is 36f, kids are 12f and 14f) came to stay with us, and are still here.
The friend’s kids are annoying, which I can deal with, it’s not an issue. But they’re also using my hygienic things, like my razor, my special soaps/hair products that I bought for my hair and put my name on. They’ve also been drinking after me. And they got into my prescribed pain killers that I got last week, my iron supplements, my last pack of birth control, and the stash of snacks I keep in my false bottom drawer in my room. They are also harassing my cat and tearing tufts of his fur out. I told my mom about this, she didn’t seem to care.
My mom’s friend, their mom, has also been an issue. She’s been smoking weed in the basement, which wouldn’t be an issue except she smokes enough of it to cause the entire house to smell like it, and causes me not to be able to breathe. Mom’s friend goes out partying, gets drunk, and hangs out with my mom in her room pretty much 24/7. I’ve been sick and unable to keep food down this week, and I’ve been ignored by my mom because she’s hanging out with her friend. Mom’s friend is also helping her kids in eating pretty much everything in the fridge before I get a chance to get to it.
I told my mom we needed to have a serious talk yesterday, and made her sit down and talk to me. I told her what her friend’s kids were doing, and then I straight up told her that her friend was causing my legitimate distress because apparently her presence was enough to make my mom stop acknowledging my existence. My mom told me that I didn’t need to have this conversation with her, and that I was being a rude spoiled brat. She’s gone back to ignoring me, and I am still sick. AITA for telling my mom our guests are causing me problems? ###### | NTA, your mom needs to understand where her priorities are... may I suggest buying a lock for your bedroom, and stashing everything you dont want anyone else using, it might be a temporary fix :) ###### |
I know it’s a weird title, sorry. Also on mobile so layout might be strange.
So around a year ago I (M15) was diagnosed with Leukemia. Six months later and I was having a life saving bone marrow transplant. I was in the same room for a month, tired and sleeping 6 hours a day and 12 at night. I have now (almost) fully recovered but my muscles have a while to go before I am back to my fully fit self. I can walk and jump but I can’t run or joy without lots of effort and pain in my joints.
Anyway today I went on a dog walk with my mother (44) and my sister (12). My sister has a brain tumour, diagnosed just a few months after me. Unlucky, I know. She has to wear a splint on her leg and has extremely limited movement in her right arm and leg.
Halfway through the walk our dog, who’s an 18 week old puppy runs to see a dog. My mum is holding the lead and lets go, meaning our puppy can now run off to see the other dog. My mum has for some reason come out wearing sandals and therefore can’t run after him. She doesn’t even make the effort. She instantly looks back at me and yells ‘well run then!’ I say back: ‘I can’t!’ I give a desperate attempt to jog but it hurts too much to run. Our puppy at this point is simply wagging his tail 5 feet away and sniffing the other dog. Not moving anywhere. My mum walks up to him and grabs his lead, then looks back at me and says, ‘it’s like I have to babysit for you all the time. You can’t do anything by yourself. It’s like you’re a 5 year old.’ I can’t argue back because she hates being wrong. She doesn’t take a single bit of the blame even though she dropped the lead in the first place. AITA for not trying to run?
TL:DR I had to have a bone marrow transplant and stayed in a bed for ages, meaning it hurts lots to run. On a dog walk and mum let’s go of lead, expects me to run after dog. I try but can’t. She calls me a 5 year old and makes me feel embarrassed and like an asshole. AITA for not running after the dog? ###### | NTA, your mom is the AH. If she can’t handle taking care of a puppy and chasing it sometimes, you guys shouldn’t have a puppy. There’s no way you or your sister should need to chase down the dog, especially if you’re in pain like this. ###### |
I've recently turned 18 a few days ago btw.
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(I was \~13-16 at the time) I really love riding my bicycle, but i live in California where drivers are shit and I have been hit by a car twice while on my bike (Both of them drivers fault) The first time wasn't too bad but it hurt like a bitch, the second one was a bit more serious and i was covered in blood, had to use crutches for about 2 months, and cannot walk in a straight line without a lot of effort. Of course with that kind of shit you sue, and I was told we got \~$6k. I come from a poor single mother family and have never had more than $300 so I was really happy. For the past few years I've been told many many times that i would get all the money when i turned 18 so I have been anxiously waiting. I recently turned 18 so i asked my mom about when i would get it and she said she would give me "a little bit of it". I was very shocked and she isn't willing to even split it 50-50. If it was for bills or debts it would be a bit more understandable but she said she wants to buy herself a new car (Nothing wrong with her current car) and again I was shocked. Am I the asshole for wanting most or at least 50% of the money? ###### | NTA, your lawsuit, your money plus she promised to give it to you ###### |
So it’s all pretty stupid but I thought I’d make a post since my family seems to wanna make it a big deal. Before the virus that shall not be named shut down everything I had two beautiful twin girls. The names I picked out I kept a secret until I announced their birth + gender. Both names are from characters I love and hold near and dear. The names are Azula (Avatar the last air bender) and Eclipsa (Star vs the forces of evil). I made a post about it and everything seemed fine until I got a message in the family group chat. My mother was livid that I’d name my girls after two villains whose names won’t “represent my daughters well” (I found out my brother told her who they were names after.) I told her that the names don’t define who they are. She didn’t respond but I come to find a long Facebook post about how I “doomed” my “sweet little angles” and how names have weight and will effect how they turn out. All the comments are relatives agreeing with her and how “people these days will name their kids anything”. I didn’t name my kids hotdog and cheese like I don’t get what’s so bad. Anyways I’ve just been getting a lot of “hate” if you will from my family. It’s making me genuinely wonder AITA for naming my kids after two “villains” ###### | NTA, your kids names wont effect how they turn out as human beings. If you raise them right, they will become good people. ###### |
We've been married for 4 years (me:24F and 25M)
We have 2 kids 8M and 2F, since I got pregnant with our lil girl I had so many health issues I had to quit my job, so I kinda lost all my." Social life"
Every since we got together I never went out o just hang out with friends anymore, there was always an excuse, he likes to play soccer once in a while with his friends, and I was fine with it. He has his circle of friends and play computers games on a daily basis with his friends online.
Two days ago I mentioned I wanted to go to a party when my 2 year old kid can stay with her grandma or with him ( she is breastfeeding still), he said no right away, he said I was not going to be able to go out if it wasn't with him, and that I don't have the need to be making any other friends if I have him, (FYI I don't drink or smoke, so going out is just to dance, music and get to know ppl), and that "there's NO WAY I will ever go out alone to a party, maybe a gym"
So today he says his friend invited him to play soccer on Wednesday and I said no, I'm not going to be taking care of the kids when I can't even go out on my own because you forbid it, he said "don't expect me to love you after this.
AITA here? Really? ###### | NTA, your husband is controlling. It is not normal for a partner to forbid you going out without them. This is alienating behaviour (keeping you aware from friends) and is a sign of abuse. I hope someone else here can comment with resources to help you. Please keep yourself and your children safe. ###### |
Before everyone judges me as an asshole, let me give a little backstory.
My brother in law got me a pair of really awesome boots 3 Christmases ago. I loved them. However, he got me the wrong size. I literally could not fit my foot into them. I asked my husband to ask my brother in law if he could exchange the shoes for the right size...and it just never happened. This pair of shoes has been sitting in my garage for over 3 years now because my brother in law has said he just doesn't have the time or the receipt anymore to get the right size.
So, today, I sold them. Money has been really tight with both my husband and I laid off and not receiving unemployment/stimulus yet. I made a pretty profit too because they are high end shoes that have literally never been worn.
My husband is really angry at me for. Called me ungrateful and that I should be "ashamed of myself" for selling them. Even though now we will be able to pay the light bill and get a few groceries after selling these shoes.
So AITA? I do understand where my husband is coming from - they were a gift, even though I've never been able to wear the shoes. My own BIL told him to chill out when he called BIL up to tell him how "ungrateful" I am. I just didn't see a reason to keep a pair of shoes around that I am never going to wear. :/ ###### | NTA, your husband is being an A though. Understandable if the shoes were the right size and you just weren’t using them or if you hadn’t asked to get them changed. That’s now impossible so what else is there to do with them? Make sure your husband doesn’t see a penny of that cash if that’s how he feels about it ###### |
Edit: he also says he feels better and has more energy. I forgot to add this part.
Edit2: I'm his primary caretaker as well. I didn't think it important to mention earlier but he has dementia and does revert back to child like behavior at times.
My dad is 77 and has a whole slew of health problems. A good chunk of them relating to his poor diet. He primarily eats fast food and rarely eats vegetables. Every meal has to have meat in order for him to consider it a "real meal". He's allowed me to do grocery shopping for him and I've been buying him veggie nuggets, burgers, pork, etc. (Ex: morning star buffalo chik'n patties). He can't taste the difference and enjoys what I make him. I also blend a ton of veggies into pasta sauce and he can't tell he's eating healthier food. It's not entirely vegetarian though. When he wants to order out, I get him what he wants. I only give him veggie food when I'm cooking.
His recent dr appointments and blood tests have shown improvement in his health. My brother tells me I shouldn't do that and just let him eat what he wants, even if it's making him sick.
AITA for slipping my dad healthier alternatives and getting more veggies in his system? ###### | NTA, your good for helping your father and making his last bit of time on earth more comfortable. ###### |
I 27(M) have been dating my girlfriend 24(F) for six months. I love wearing sweatpants when ever I can my favorite ones are my grey ones. Lately she started to ask me to change to a different color which I would brush off. Well yesterday she told me it was inappropriate to wear them outside the house. Now here where I might be the ass I told her since we were talking about things that bother us I told her not wearing a bra bothered me. She told me that that’s not the same and that it was The responsibility of men to not stare at her. I replied with it not my responsibility if woman want to stare at me. She got mad and left. So AITA? ###### | NTA, your girl has a nasty case of double standard. Continue wearing your grey sweatpants I guarantee you your average woman on the street isn't checking your package. ###### |
I'm from the rural midwest and my girlfriend is from a highly popuated area in Australia. Growing up I always drank milk with nearly every meal and I never viewed it as strange until I met my girlfriend. She pointed out that drinking milk with certain meals (pizza, spaghetti, etc) is really gross to her and that I was gross for doing it. She argues that when we eat together that I should refrain from doing it and drink something else instead because she is disgusted by it. AITA for drinking milk with meals that I eat with her? ###### | NTA, your GF should get over herself. It's not like you pick your nose during meals, you are just drinking fuckn milk. ###### |
Okay so I made [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gw4w78/aita_for_blocking_my_dads_number_refusing_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) in here earlier, my cousin - who idolizes my dad - found it, asked if it was mine, and so I admitted to it. Which then led to him calling me an asshole and bringing up the time I tweeted a pic as a joke that ended up going viral.
It was a college grad pic, with me holding up a sign that said, “thanks mom you made this possible 2019,” and I captioned the tweet to say “~controversial grad pics to throw shade at my married, welder dad who said if I ‘really needed to go to college’ my single mom could pay for it~” and it went viral and was seen by a million and a half people.
I posted it in November and my dad never said anything about it, but my cousin just told me he told my dad when it happened and he was upset. But also go read through the other post because I think that will give you a better idea about what kind of person my dad is. ###### | NTA, your father is an absolute child. What you posted wasn't meant to poke jabs at him purposefully, he needs to take a joke. ###### |
Backstory my(23F) step father(59M) passed away over 2 years ago suddenly. Prior to his passing my sister(38F) wasn't very active in his life, she wouldn't call, visit, etc... Dad would call her at least twice a week every week and write her letters. The whole family attempted to reach her aswell but she refused to talk with our father. Christmas before he passed she showed up to the house, yelled at him and called him and various family members pretty much every name in the book and said never to contact her again.
Fast forward 4 months and our father passed away unexpectedly. She made an appearance at the funeral then she disappeared, and up until a few weeks ago when she showed up at my home out of the blue.
Our father had a will, I was listed as in charge of his estate and all of his possessions but he did have very specific possessions in his will to be given to his son(35M) and other daughter(33F). There was also specific instructions that sister(38F) wasn't to be given anything.
When she came to my home she handed me a list of our dads possessions that she wanted. Most of the items on the list were already given to the perspective family members, I was just gonna give her some of our fathers motorcycle memorabilia and be done with it. Well she decided that wasn't enough and has been threatening legal action against me stating that my house that our father left to me should be hers and that because she's the oldest that she has legal right to it. After she said this I decided to not give her anything and told her if she came back I'd have her arrested for trespassing.
Ever since this encounter a good portion of our family is harassing me for this stating how that because I'm not his real daughter I shouldn't be so greedy towards his possessions and to give my sister some things.
My other siblings agree with my decision but a part of me still feels like I'm being an asshole. ###### | NTA, your father already made his decision. Tell the folks harassing you that you are trying to respect the last wishes of the deceased and they can pound sand. ###### |
I spent a couple hours painting my mom because she always tells me she wants some art of mine to keep, so I thought this would be really nice. I showed my dad and he got pretty mad at me. He suggested I go out and get her a real card. My mom's always been super sappy for my art so I figured it was perfect? I wrote a whole paragraph on the back saying how much she means to me. AITA for not getting her a real card? [Here's the picture](http://imgur.com/gallery/bQ0fTCf) ###### | NTA, your dad's the biggest asshole of all. ###### |
A week ago my bf and I made plans to visit my dad and his wife. My dad lives near one of my favorite restaurants, and I was hungry for one of their dishes for months. I told my dad that we'd love to have dinner, but I really wanted take out. I'd pay for it myself. I asked if he was OK with that. He was. I asked him to tell my stepmom to not cook for me and my bf.
Because I have autism i don't like plans changing. My dad asked if I wouldn't rather have a home cooked meal since his wife was cooking anyway. I told him again I'd prefer take out if that's okay. My bf is fine with whatever. But please do not cook for me.
Today I came in to the kitchen, and my stepmom proudly declared she was going to try to make my favorite dish... I love her, but the woman just isn't a great cook so I knew it wouldn't be very good, and again, I really don't do well with sudden changes.
Apparently my dad didn't tell her I wanted take out. She said it was fine, she wanted to cook anyway and I had already ordered food.
Now I just feel bad. She went out of her way to find the recipe of my favorite dish, get the right ingredients and cook it for me and my bf. I know she knows about my autism, and that she understands. But I just felt really crappy.
AITA? ###### | NTA, your dad is the AH here. Maybe next time communicate directly with your stepmom instead of going through your dad if you think he might not relay a message correctly. ###### |
I (16M) and my brother (12M) live with joint custody between my mom (51F) and dad (53M).
My brother used to have a friend (we’ll call him A) in elementary school. They were never super close and I have never liked A because he is really whiny and spoiled because his parents are very rich. A has a college age brother named N but we never really talk because we don’t have a lot to talk about and he is not home a ton.
A year or two ago my brother stopped hanging out with A because of aforementioned reasons. By this time the dad of A (AD) and my dad had become friends. My brother never formally broke off his friendship with A in the interest of maintaining good will.
Unfortunately, A can’t take a hint. My brother has refused to hang out countless times but A still thinks they are on good terms.
Between this and my dads friendship with AD we go over there sometimes
I do not enjoy being with A’s family because I don’t have any friends over there & A acts bratty and spoiled a lot. My brother does not enjoy it either.
AD and my dad have talked about going camping this summer a lot but when I asked my dad he had always dismissed it as speculation. My dad knows very well that me and my brother do not want to go camping with A. We told him many times over the months but he has not listened.
Tonight my dad told us that he KNEW that we didn’t want to go camping with A’s family but we are going anyway for 4 days. Me and my brother put our feet down between disdain for A and concern for getting COVID (my dad has not been taking COVID-19 as seriously as we would like).
This is not something me and my brother have ever done so adamantly before and we are very serious about it.
My dad passive aggressively uninvited us and called us spoiled, bratty, and disrespectful. I think the real issue here is how he ignored our wishes for months and essentially chose AD over us.
So AITA for not just going or was it the right thing to tell our dad no? ###### | NTA, your dad is basically forcing you to go camping for *his* friend. Also good job on taking Covid-19 seriously, I wish you the best of luck ###### |
I'm one of 6 product managers at a 300 person Silicon Valley tech company, and am the only one on the team with an engineering education (masters and undergrad in CEng). The others have degrees in business or the humanities.
Everyone in my office is currently working remotely. I was one of the last people to log into the morning stand-up video call today and for the first time since the remote work policy was put in effect, I was taking the call from my desk. (Usually I do my meetings from the kitchen where I can spread my work out at the much larger dining table).
My desk is tiny and crammed into my condo's little "den". Displayed directly behind me and right over my shoulder are my 2 engineering degrees and a few other framed design awards and certificates. I don't want to show a screenshot of the wall for privacy reasons, [but here's a diagram I painted of what they would have seen on their screens](https://i.imgur.com/O8OVfLv.png).
After saying our good mornings, one of my PM coworkers loudly said "WoOoOoOoOh, *somebody* is trying to show off all their big fancy credentials". Everybody chuckled, so I just laughed along with them and continued with the meeting. Later on though after I had made some input to the ongoing discussion topic, he said again "good point there from the man with *all the fancy degrees to show us*".
I want to believe this was a joke, but I'm nervously second guessing myself now and I feel like I might have come off as a pompous ass? Does having them all displayed directly behind me genuinely make me look like a showoff? That's totally not what I was going for. I mean, I didn't bring them to the my office for that reason. Tbh, I didn't even register that they were there.
I don't want to show them off again if it makes me look like a braggart, but I don't want to take them down if I don't need to because I'll look like I fell to peer pressure. I'll probably just end up using the kitchen table from now on.
Thoughts? ###### | NTA, your coworker sounds like an insufferable ass and I would bet everyone else on the call thought so, too. ###### |
alright I've been working on a comic book for a bit, and I had used another Reddit page to look for an artist, I found a lot of good ones and I was about to choose them, but then I realized with the number of issues I would need and their prices, there would be no way for me to afford them.
In walks my buddy, who has been like a reviewer for my comic, I've sent him scripts and concept art to give me his opinion on, then two weeks he sends me a text while I'm on vacation and its a drawing of one of the three main characters...well it looked amazing, I was blown away, then last night he sent me two more sketches of other characters that have appeared and I swear it was like looking at a real comic book drawing.
I asked him after the first sketch if he'd want to be my artist for the comic, he said of course and that he while being supportive of me looking for an artist actually wanted to do it himself. so basically we made an agreement.
Well, my girlfriend's sister told me that I was being cheap not using these professional artists and instead was giving my buddy the job, she said these guys probably needed the job more than my friend and that I should tell my friend I changed my mind.
I told her no, and that I feel the comic would work better with two people who genuinely love the comic and not someone who's only gonna draw it on commission.
in my mind, I want like a Jack Kirby to my Stan Lee, Greg Capullo to my Scott Snyder, and Gary Frank to my Geoff Johns (if your not big into comics these are great teams that gave there all to there comics).
I even told her that it's not like my friends drawing for free when we finish the comic and end up selling it, I'm splitting the profit with him 50/50, and if we aren't able to sell I'm still paying him for his work.
But am I the asshole for going with my friend that I know, then an artist I don't? ###### | NTA, your comic and money so you make the decisions ###### |
Last year my parents lost almost everything they had, they literally had no money to buy food. They were always nice to me and they paid for my college so I thought it was kind of my duty to support them untill they become financially independent again
I (28m) am making 120k a year, but still since we we were living in the same city I decided to move in with my parents to not to waste money on rent while I help them financially. My dad got his business again, so far it is going well even though there almost no profits. I am hoping that it will soon be profitable.
My brother (32m)also lives with my parents and he is a total failure, he has never had a job. He only had a few failed businesses (my parent gave him the money to start the business). For the last 1 year I have been the sole source of income for the family, I have been paying for the food, utilites and all the other costs. Since my brother has never had a job, he cant get a job right now and my parents no longer have the money to give him to start another failed business, he has been unemployed. And he has ego problem, he cant go work minimum wage jobs. I recently learned that my brother has been taking money from my parents (the money I give them) and spending on going out with his friends. When I learned it I told my parents that he should not get any money, and he should not even eat the food I buy untill he gets a job on his own, even if it is a minimum wage job. My parents told me that I was overreacting and my brother called me the AH. Am I really the asshole here? ###### | NTA, your brother sounds like an irresponsible idiot. You should sending money to your parents if your brother is going to spend it and maybe send them groceries directly (only if you want to). ###### |
So for a bit of background, one of my brothers and I have a history of being at odds with each other. As we’ve gotten older, I’ve grown tired of it, and I refuse to participate unless he pushes me to an extreme. He still makes fun of me regularly.
It’s gotten to the point that even my parents are telling me to push back at him, but I find the whole ordeal tiresome and prefer to just avoid him unless absolutely necessary.
Anyway, on to the subject of this post: a few months ago, our baby sister offered to sell me her car when she and my parents came to visit us from out of state, which is happening this week. My brother, mentioned earlier, asked me about a week ago if he could have the car she’s going to sell me, in exchange for his car. The car he’s driving now is much smaller than the one my sister is bringing, and one of the reasons I agreed to buy my sister’s car is because I don’t have much storage space in my apartment, and I want the car to make up for that. So, AITA for not wanting to make the swap? ###### | NTA, your brother isn’t necessarily being an asshole but he might start being one when he realises he’s not gonna get what he wants, push back and don’t let him win. ###### |
I’m currently on my period and have some bad cramps today. My whole body is aching and I’m feeling very low energy.
I’m nearly running out of pads so I kindly asked my bf if he could go down to the local store to get me some pads, chamomile tea and painkillers. He started huffing and puffing and said he wouldn’t get “that stuff” for me. I asked him why and he said it’s too embarrassing.
I didn’t have the energy to argue so I texted my dad and asked him if he could “*that stuff*” for me. He lives nearby and is currently WFH (he was on his lunch break). Fortunately he arrived within 15 minutes and got me everything I needed and then some.
My BF got so pissed. He said that just because he refused, it doesn’t mean that I should go running to my dad. I asked him why that’s an issue and he didn’t fully explain himself. He just said that it’s HIS job to get me stuff like that which makes no sense because I asked him and he refused.
He was nagging the whole time and I had no patience for that. He continued being moody and said that it was disrespectful of me. ###### | NTA, your boyfriend probably feels ashamed of himself after your dad showed him how a decent person behaves, and he should be. Why are you wasting your time with this asshole? ###### |
Some back story. When he and I first got together up until merely a couple of months ago (two months max) she would call him begging him to take her back. They have a child, and in the past she's kept the child from him until recently, because she has no place to live. I've stayed insulted by her actions and trespasses against our relationship, my boyfriend, and even their child from keeping him away from his father.
Now the child has a routine, rules, and he knows what to expect day to day. He's very young and misses his mom all the time. My boyfriend messaged her asking her to contact him more, weeks would go by without a call or anything. When she did call, he'd wake up at night screaming, crying, or running to the front door. So he asked her to call and visit more often, which had helped him.
But now, due to current worldwide circumstances, she doesn't really have a lot of places to take him. However, it makes me very uncomfortable having her at our house. She corners him into discussions about their previous relationship, asking him what she did wrong, etc. I'm insulted that he would allow her to go that far.
She wants to spend time with him in our home. When my boyfriend said it wasn't okay she began to cry, which I see as a guilt trip. My boyfriend makes arguments to me about why she should be able to stay.
AITA for taking offense to all of this? To both of them; her for weaseling in, and him for allowing her to go so far? Am I justified in my view, or am I not seeing this clearly?
Thanks, reddit. ###### | NTA, your BF and his ex need to get a proper custody agreement in place, and the child needs to be listened to very carefully through that process. His ex should not be living with you, frankly I think you're a hell of a person to be able to put up with it. It's a very difficult position for you. I hope your BF realises that while his relationship with his child is obviously the most important relationship in his life, some sort of compromise has to be made for his relationship with you, and the rest of his life. Sacrificing everything else might seem noble, but is very unhealthy and can lead to resentment which will cause serious problems in the future. This is a tough situation for all involved, I really hope it settles down and ends with happiness for everyone and most importantly, stability for the child. ###### |
Me and my girlfriend tell each other we love the other and have been dating for a year. We got together our senior year of high school.
The first time I told her I love her while she was naked she got upset. We had told each other we love the other many times before but this was the first time I told her I love her while she was naked. She said to not tell her that when she is naked because it isn't genuine love when she is naked, she said the emotion I feel when I see her naked is lust. I tell her I always feel love for her but I am obviously more attracted to her when she is naked. I stopped saying it when she was nude because she would not like it and would repeat those reasons.
I accidentally let an I love her slip when she was naked and she got really upset saying I'm confusing love for lust. Whenver I say it while she is clothed she says it back to me happily. ###### | NTA, you’ve already told her you love her when she was clothed, so it should be clear that it’s genuine. ###### |
So imagine this: my mom comes into my room, flops on my teddy bear and just falls asleep. I sit there, letting her sleep and minding my own business for two hours. Then it's time for me to go to sleep.
So at this point I've tried to wake her up twice already but she only complains and goes back to sleep before I can say anything else. Since it's my mom, I left it be. But now it's time for me to sleep so surely she'd understand that she has to go right?
But she doesn't go, instead she tells me to just sleep in bed with her. For context, my family lives in a small house so when I was younger, I slept with my parents, before eventually moving into my own room. My mom is a very clingy person and tends to barge into my room very often, for very weird reasons. (Won't say more, but it's nothing bad on my end. Just super weird.)
She wasn't there when I was younger so I think she tries to amend that by doing things like this. Normally I understand, but I can't lie and say it's not uncomfortable for me.
This time I stood my ground, told her again I didn't want her sleeping with me. Eventually she left without a word. And I feel fucking bad about it.
AITA? ###### | NTA, you’re the age that you start to want your own space, and you can understand why she wants to be with you, but you also want to set healthy boundaries ###### |
My husband and I have been together for more than 10 years. He is an alcoholic that has only recently admitted his problem and stopped drinking.
For years he would not acknowledge the problem. He went to rehab once, one state away. He came home early because he "didn't actually have a problem ". Years of him passing out, puking everywhere, hiding vodka around the house, lying about drinking lead to him spending the night in his car after I kicked him out.
About three months ago, he didn't come home from work. I called and texted and got no response. I grabbed the kids and drove to the store to get dinner, and happened to find him. Dear hubby was parked on the side of the road, car running, passed out in the driver's seat, with 4 bottles of open alcohol in the seat next to him. After waking him up and taking him home, I left to my parents house with the kids.
He started going to AA. He looked into getting a sponsor. He stopped drinking. He apologized. The kids and I moved back home. Coronavirus happened. AA is shut down. He came home from work today, and he smelled (slightly) of alcohol.
I told him he smelled like alcohol and asked why. He began yelling at me. He called me names, told me I was trying to control him. He called me fat, and told me he didn't live me. When I started to cry, he asked if he hurt my feelings and I said yes. He responded "Good. I want you to feel the way I do."
I don't know if ITA. On one hand he has lied to me about 10,000 about drinking, so my question may be justified. On the other hand, he has been doing great with not drinking during isolation. He made it sound like I broke his heart when I asked why he smelled like alcohol. He felt accused and distrusted . I feel terrible for causing him to feel that way, but at the same time, u feel like my question was justified given his history. AITA for not trusting him? ###### | NTA, you’re in a very shitty situation and you have every right to be concerned.
I recommend getting you and your children somewhere safer. He sounds emotionally unstable and your children deserve to be raised in a healthy environment. ###### |
So, this is the story. I (17M) have a girlfriend (17F), we have been together for 2 years now. Since we started dating my mom has always had some things she dislikes, for example, me going to her house (while her parents were there) because she doesnt approve that. And I respect her opinion and have said to her she can have her opinion but I dont have to do it the way she wants me to do it. Recently I suggested going to the seaside with my friends and she supported it until I said my girlfriend might also go with us when she made a scene and forbid me to go if she goes. Today I told my mom I will invite my girlfriend to celebrate my name day and she went crazy, saying its not normal to go to someones house before marrying them, asking do her parents know (of course they know) and stuff like that. She attacked me and I said that she doesnt need to involve herself in my relationship as I do not in her marriage. Im on no speaking terms with my mom now and honestly, Im not sorry. Just dont know what to do anymore. Our relationship is awesome, my girlfriend is the most loving, caring person I know and I dont want to lose her. ###### | NTA, you’re handling this well, your mom’s a whole different story. Of COURSE it’s normal to visit her house with parents present before marriage?? She’s acting like you’re planning orgies over there. ###### |
My 19 year old daughter rescued a stray cat outside that has been following her around the house from the outside. The little bastard had been jumping on the roof and running around on the extension to try and meow for attention from her because she kept feeding it bacon.
This was a coupe months ago. She took the cat to the vet and it was given anti flea anti fungal and anti worm and all the rest of it treatments including being neutered which the darling girl of mine stuck the cost of onto daddy’s debit card because of course she did.
Imagine my surprise when she returned from the vet and announced she was keeping the bloody thing.
Now I hate little animals, I’m deeply allergic to cats and in general I’m just not a cat bloke.
It roams around the house like it owns the gaff and it bloody pisses against everything it takes a liking to but my wife and girl are absolutely enthralled with it and it’s very very content to steal the sofas to scratch and sleep on.
It keeps trying to rub up against me and I refuse to let it touch me. I’ve had to ask the pharmacist to give me fexofenadine which is the only thing stopping me from scratching my eyeballs out.
My wife actually got into a mardy with me and snapped at me cuz I refused to stroke the cat and she called me a miserable bastard. My daughter joined in and said the cat only wants to be friends but frankly I don’t care and I don’t want to be friends.
Anyway my darling wife told my darling mother and now she keeps bringing it up everytime she calls me calling me a misery guts.
Am I the arsehole or are they for trying to force me to stroke the cat? ###### | NTA, you’re allergic. But it’s not the cat’s fault, you don’t need to be mean or aggressive to it, just stay away from it. ###### |
To start I posed a story about this same aunt before so I'll give a quick summary and move on to the issue at hand. Long story short my aunt,uncle, and cousin lost their house to a fire and moved in with me for a while. My aunt accused me of snooping in her things when all I did was accidentally knock it over and tried telling me I couldn't go into the basement of my home, so I told her it was my house and I could go in the basement if I wanted and if she doesn't like it then leave. Now to the problem at hand. My aunt and uncle are getting evicted from there place because 1 it's very dirty, 2 the smell is just horrible they don't clean the litter boxs,my aunt smokes at least 2 packs a day, and the list goes on. They called me earlier and asked me if they can move in with me and I said no. My wife is 2 months pregnant and I'm ahasmaic so neither of us should be around smoke. And I forgot to mention my aunt smoked in my house after I asked her to the first time she was with me. I told her no because of how she treated me before and thought she could do whatever she wanted to. My aunt called me an ungrateful spoiled brat and said I had to let them stay or they would be homeless. I snapped and told her that it's not my problem you smoke like a pig or the fact you can't get your fucking lazy ass up to clean the litter boxes or even clean the house. All this is your problem not mine so be an adult for once and don't bug me again. I might have gone overboard but my aunt literally relays on others and refuses to work and she did this herself not me. So was I the asshole? ###### | NTA, you've learnt your lesson. Once bitten, twice shy! I'd suggest any family member attempts to persuade you to take them in, you tell them that you'll tell your aunt they will accommodate them. ###### |
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
So, I was a sperm donor, and now 20 years later, someone reached out and told me that I'm their father, and they want to be in contact with me.
I said no, I thought that was it.
But she keeps contacting me, she really wants to be in contact with me, get to know her father, etc.
I think I said no about 7 or 8 times now.
My wife thinks I'm being mean because she clearly wont stop asking, so this must be really important to her.
The thing is... as mean and rude as this sounds... I just dont care about this girl, I dont see her as my daughter, I dont want to be her father. And as crude as this sounds... I didn't jizz in a bottle to become a father (bit without responsiblity) so that the child turns up later and *then* I'll be a dad, I did it to make money. I knew that the possibility for some kid turning up at my doorstep was there, but I just thought I could say no and that's it.
My Wife thinks I'm TA because this girl clearly wants a father, or atleast to know me, she says I should atleast meet up with her.
I would be okay with that after she asked a second time or something, but she asked 8 times now, im afraid that if I say yes, then this girl will see something in that, that is just not there, because the reality is, I just dont care about her, she's a stranger to me.
So AITA? ###### | NTA, you're not her father, you're just a sperm donor. I get that she wants to meet you, but I think that if it'll happen she would get her hopes up and wouldn't leave you alone. She should respect your decision and let go. ###### |
For reference I'm 21 years old and currently reside in the north east (US). My parents are mid 50s.
This summer my parents decided to take off and spend the majority of their summer house shopping in Florida, as they're looking to retire soon. I was left home alone for that entire time to take care of the house and dogs. I was working a virtual internship at home and being paid enough to easily support myself living alone (my own food/gas while they still paid the actual bills) in my parents house.
My internship has finished up so my parents want me to fly down to Florida and see the house they just made an offer for. I bought my own round trip ticket (ridiculously cheap cause no one is flying right now) to see my parents and spend the weekend playing golf and hanging out.
Today my dad sprung on me that I should forgo flying home and instead drive with them 5 days later. The drive is about 16 hours and they want to leave 5 days later than I would be on my flight. I don't have much time before returning to school, so I was looking forward to having those last few days to relax at home. Not to mention my school is in the south and I drive, so I'd basically be driving home with them to turn around and drive back the way I came a few days later. After explaining to my dad that I didn't want to drive back with them as that wasn't the original plan, the limited time I have until I return to school, and the fact that I paid for a flight he freaked out calling me entitled, saying that they needed my help to drive back. I refused and said I'll be taking the flights I paid for and then he said "enjoy your flight, don't plan on staying with us if you won't come back with us" and hung up.
AITA here for not wanting to drive 16 hours? ###### | NTA, you're not a 10 year old, but it seems like your Dad is behaving like one.
You've already made a major effort to come look at their house as a favor to them, I think he needs to cut you some slack. I'm in my mid 50s not exceptionally fit (not unfit, either), and as much as I wouldn't enjoy a 16 hour trip, my wife and I could handle it. Get a room on the way back, or sleep in the car. Your party, your cleanup. ###### |
So as this isn’t a relationships subreddit I’ll keep this part brief, I’m specifically asking whether I’m the asshole for ‘blackmailing’ (her words) or ‘giving an ultimatum’ (my words) to my friend.
She lost her job and made an onlyfans. Her fiancé doesn’t know. She knows he would consider that cheating and her fiancé is a very close friend of mine and I know it would destroy him.
My friend has not been discreet about this and is telling all of our friends for the clout because she’s got a lot of ‘yaaassss girl you get that coin’ sort of messages to the few people she opened up to and now word has spread and *guys we mutually know including her fiancé* are aware and paying for her content.
I told her she needs to tell him or I will. She considers this blackmail. I’m trying to protect my friend who I know is a very good person and who would be devastated.
My own best friend has told me to stay out of all of this and to mind my business. My best friend doesn’t know these people at all so she is not invested emotionally. I am autistic and think it’s very clear I need to tell my friends fiancé but she is saying that if my friend lost her job she needs to do what she needs to do to survive. ###### | Nta, you're friends with him too. If I was in his shoes that's exactly what I'd want you to do. What's the alternative? He finds out and then finds out you knew and didn't do anything? Id feel like I'd lost friends on top of SO. ###### |
We’re both in our early 20s. I’m an undergrad student, living with my parents (they cover all of my living expenses) and I have an internship that pays me 40% of the minimum wage where I live. It’s not much, but it’s the money I use for clothes, products, nights out, take out, anything that isn’t strictly necessary for me to survive. Also worth noting I grew up poor so I’m fully in control of what I spend. I’m the first to admit I can be cheap.
My bf, on the other hand, grew up rich in a family that overspends. They earn a lot of money, but spend just as much, so they don’t have a lot to their names or many savings. My boyfriend’s parents cover all of his living expenses + pay him an allowance that is 2,5x bigger than my internship salary.
Now the asshole part — being cheap has allowed me to save some money. I never asked him if he had savings, he never asked me either, but he assumed I would have none since I’m always saying I’m outta money. The thing is, every month I save 30% of what I make. When I say I’m out of money I mean that, in my monthly plan, I have already spent the amount I separated for spending, not including what I always save.
This is where he gets mad at me, saying I’m always refusing to go out to eat somewhere fancier, or trade more expensive gifts because I’m ‘out of money’ when I actually have savings and he has nothing/goes into overdraft every other month. I do say I’m out of money a lot, but I didn’t realize that me saying I was out of money necessarily implied that I didn’t have a dime to my name. I didn’t know that was what he thought was going on.
AITA for saying I’m out of money when I actually have savings?
TL;DR — I tell my bf I’m out of money but I actually save 30% of what I make every month and have savings. He says that was misleading and he thought I had no money at all, and is upset because I say that and we do not go to fancy restaurants or trade expensive gifts. ###### | NTA, you're budgeting and sticking to it, that's a good thing. If you were saying you were out of money so your BF would pay for things then you'd be an asshole, but that doesn't sound like it's the case. ###### |
This isn’t such a big deal but it’s a constant argument between my father and I, almost a daily thing. My father is always saying how he’s just an affectionate man he likes to hug and just hold onto people but I don’t fucking like it. I don’t like being touched all the time to me it’s just annoying and feels restrictive. Every time he holds onto me and i get annoyed he thinks it’s some sort of game and will do it more to annoy me on purpose and the only way to make him stop is to raise my voice. I’m over it enough of these pointless arguments and being made to feel guilty because I don’t like being touched.
So I’m just wondering, AITA? ###### | NTA, you're allowed to set personal boundaries. He's the only one in the wrong here. ###### |
I (18F) was talking with my sister (21F) about relationships, and she asked if I wanted to have kids one day. I said no, and gave a couple reasons as to why. Mostly because I don't want to put my body through the turmoil of being pregnant, and I also just don't really want to be a mom. I said I'd consider fostering or maybe adopting, but it's unlikely. I also said I don't want kids because I want to be someone's favourite person, and a child would end up being my partner's favourite.
My sister said that's a shitty reason to not want kids, and that I'm an asshole for even saying that. She said I'm selfish and manipulative, and should never get married if that's the mindset I have.
Growing up, I was always my parents' least favourite child, my siblings' least favourite sibling, and my friends' least favourite of the group. This is where I think my reasoning behind all of this stems from; feeling inadequate and unwanted by the people around me. My parents also got married, had 3 kids, and then ended up in a loveless marriage. I don't want that to be my future; my partner falling out of love with me and I have to live knowing I'm not special to anyone.
I understand I'm not obligated to have kids if I don't want them, but now I feel like she might be right. AITA? ###### | NTA, you're allowed to not want kids for whatever reason(as long as you're up front about not wanting kids with any potential partners).
That said, seek counciling because you have serious attachment issues to work through. ###### |
I have a 6 year old yorkiepoo who is, in my opinion, the cutest thing in the world. I used to only dress him for weather, like a jacket and boots if it was cold and a thunder shirt to help him with anxiety during storms, but I noticed that he seemed to really like the clothes I put on him. He would wag his tail and get excited when I took them out and he would pull away when I tried to take his coat off, so I started dressing him in little outfits pretty often. If he cried or seemed upset about it I wouldn't, but he seems to like it some days and other days he seems pretty apathetic and unbothered by it, and I think it's cute. He even waits by his basket of clothes in the morning for me to pick out an outfit for him.
My partner doesn't like that I dress the dog up. He thinks it makes me look like a "crazy dog person" and like "one of those high maintenance people who treat their dogs like accessories." People around town also know that we are partners, so my partner worries that people will think this about them by association. My partner told me I need to stop dressing my dog up but I said no. I think my partner is overreacting and it isn't fair to make this demand. AITA for continuing to dress up the dog even if my partner told me not to? ###### | NTA, you would be the AH if your dog didn’t like it but it sounds like he actually does. I do kind of understand where your boyfriend comes from with saying that people will judge the both of you for it, because there are many people out there who dislike the thought of dressing up animals. HOWEVER he might have a problem of being a people pleaser if he lets that paranoia of being judged get in the way of things for him.
I would just tell him that the dog enjoys it, you enjoy it, and that if it’s not physically hurting the dog you don’t see the point in stopping. He is the asshole for deciding instead of communicating rationally to insult you. ###### |
So every wednesday I Hoover/wash the floors in my house (I'm 14M)
I like to leave my dog outside while I'm washing the floors because he has a habit of "leaving feces" on the wet floor. Dont know why he does it.
We have a neighbouring family directly across the street from us and the eldest child has autism (not sure what type, but I know he cant bare loud or high pitched noises)
So today when I let my dog out for approx 20 minutes while I washed the floor, he began to bark after about 10ish minutes, not sure why because he never usually barks but he decided to do that today.
So i wash the floors, let the dog back in and I began to put the hoover/mop back in the cupboard when I hear a knock on my door and to my surprise the police are at the door, so I open it and I'm informed that the neighbour called the cops because of my dog, I basically apologise and the cop scolds me because apparently " I made the neighbours son have a mental breakdown because I refused to take care of my dog"
After the cop leaves I'm just left flabbergasted, because I doubt my dog barking for 10ish minutes forced her son to have a mental breakdown, even though there house is a good 150 feet from our back garden.
So I'm sat on the sofa thinking if putting my dog outside was an a-hole move or not, but I'll let you judge that.
So reddit, was I the A-Hole? ###### | NTA, you weren’t being intentionally malicious, and if loud sounds are that big of an issue, I assume the person with autism would have some noise canceling headphones or something. ###### |
So I’m a 20 year old girl. My best friends brother (16y/o turning 17) has always had a little crush on me growing up. Obviously I care about him and have seen him turn into the person he is and going to be. Three weeks ago we were all hanging out and he pulled a stunt where he bet me something and if I lost I kiss him on the cheek...
when this happened he turned his head making me kiss him on the lips. We all laughed and geeked but since then he will message me some nights begging me to come over with him and that his sister doesn’t have to know. I would tell his sister when he would message me but I wouldn’t tell her the extent to which he would ask. I have religiously told him “no” “that would be bad for you mentally” “you need to have your own experiences with people your age” and he continues on with “I’m past the age of consent” “nobody has to know” he would even try to pull me in and kiss me sometimes, where i would push away and insist no. But i didn’t wanna tear him down either or be real bitchy...
Last night we were all drinking, I went outside and he followed, started with his asking and pulling me in. I continued to chant “no” “this isn’t good” “you need to go to bed” but he kept persisting, so I snapped for a second and kissed him for a couple seconds, thinking “fine! This is all you get”.. but his sister/my best friend came busting out shortly later ordering it to stop. We haven’t talked about it yet and idk what to say, I feel awful that I let it go that far but I was really trying to make him understand why it’s a bad idea without dragging him down. And i guess i just snapped for a second and gave in to get him off my back. Looking back i see I should have been more stern with him. I’m worried my friend thinks more happened than what did and she claims she didn’t hear anything that was said, just saw through a window. Like ive had a pit in my stomach since and I keep wondering if something is wrong with me. ###### | NTA, you were sexually harassed and assaulted.
He kept badgering you and coercing you multiple times, that is not okay and it’s not your fault. ###### |
So school is online at the moment so we use zoom. We have to have our webcam and microphone on at all times unless we ask to turn it off. Well I(15M) was in class and I had my door open. Well my sister(20F) walks by my door in short shorts and a sports bra. She is in her own house no big deal. Well she was in the frame of my camera for a second and my friends being them dmed me on zoom heart eye emojis. So I just played it off like nothing happened well then she walks right into my door frame and was about to ask me a question but I slammed the door on her face and locked it. Once I got out of class I apologized saying I was trying not to get 20 15 years olds to see you dressed like that. She was still really mad at me. ###### | NTA, you were legitimately trying to protect her. That’s being a good sibling ###### |
This is relatively short, but here goes. I'm on mobile so apologies for the formatting.
So I (23 genderqueer) have always have a... turbulent relationship with my mother (48f) to say the least. Not that she was outright abusive, but she's definitely dancing on the fringes of Karendom. To give you the scope, she is the type to believe that the cause of economic downfall is solely "foreigners stealing our jobs", something I was heavily against. She used to bully me a LOT for my views, even once called me a terrorist sympathiser for not thinking every Muslim person was bad and that hijabs weren't a big deal.
I may be bias in this description, but it's all I can do.
My relationship with her has semi-cooled in the last month or so, and I went around today to sort out through some old items. I was telling her about my post univeristy plans and maybe applying to study in this abroad program, which had an option to study in Poland, which I said I would not be doing.
Mom: Well, why not?
Me: Poland has some really strong anti-LGBT attitudes there. I wouldn't feel safe.
Mom: Ugh.
Me: What?
Mom: You can't paint every Polish person with the same brush.
Me: I'm not. Their /governmental policies/ make me feel unsafe. Besides, you're not exactly one to talk.
Mom: What do you mean?
Me: You and Stepdad literally have a history of hating Polish people.
Mom: No we don't! We have Polish friends.
Me: You literally both used to blame Polish people for stealing jobs. I remember you guys complaining listening to the news.
Mom: You can't bring up stuff like that from the past. I'm not getting into politics.
I felt justified at the time, but I feel bad reflecting on it. AITA? ###### | NTA, you were correct and it doesn't seem you were overly rude or incendiary in the delivery. I wouldn't worry about this small interaction. ###### |
Basically I recently moved to America from Ireland in the last few months working in an IT. Now despite always finding Americans who say they're Irish or "plastic paddies" as we call them back in Ireland annoying, I knew when people say that in America, they just mean their heritage so "when in Rome, do as Romans do". So on occasion, when I tell people i'm Irish, i'd get the odd American saying "Oh cool i'm Irish too cause my great great great granddaddy was from Ireland" followed by cringey questions like "did you know we Irish were slaves too?" I'd let this slide, smile and nod and just to try to change the subject as soon as possible.
Now in the IT where I work, there's this woman (lets call her Julie) who claims to be Irish because of a grandparent I think and she was basically the plastic paddy stereotype e.g. "I have an Irish temper" and "I had too many Irish car bombs last night". Once again, I let it go because when in Rome. Then one day during a group meeting, when people asked me what its like in Ireland, she kept interrupting me and basically took over the conversation about what its like in Ireland despite admitting to never being. It got to the point where I was becoming visibly irritated but once again said nothing because when in Rome. Then when she went to the bathroom, people started laughing saying "you looked so annoyed there" and I made one comment saying to them "just because your great great grandfather once had a Guinness in Cork doesn't make you Irish" which all but one woman laughed at. That one woman turned out to be one of her closest friends.
Then Julie confronted me about mocking her because obviously her friend grassed. I then just told her straight up she's not Irish and to not speak over me when it comes to experiences in Ireland, and to "stay in your lane". She then went off in a huff and hasn't talked to me since. AITA? ###### | nta, you were biting your tongue and someone mentioned it to you specifically. She clearly made a boar of herself and you've unintentionally done her a professional favor by letting her know. I'm surprised no one else called her out before she left the room. ###### |
For reference I’m black and he’s white.
A couple weeks ago I confronted an acquaintance (we’ll call him M) of mine over his constant use of the n word. In the past I would just ignore because he’s a friend of a good friend of mine and we never hung out much, except occasionally with our mutual friend.
He would say things like “Look what these n****s are doing over there.” and “This n**** is getting on my nerves.” or “My n****!”.
No one else really had a problem with it and I didn’t want to be that one person who bitches over everything so I would usually just let it slide, even though it really bothered me.
Well, that is, until a couple weeks ago. My friend was throwing a get together and M was there. He was playing a video game against someone and he lost. He yelled out “Fucking n****r!”. I got really mad and screamed :
“You don’t just get to say that. You’ve constantly said that in the past and I’ve never said anything before, but now you’re really pushing it. I don’t know who told you it was okay to say it. Don’t ever fucking say that word again.”
The room got really quiet and everyone was staring at me weirdly. I got my bag and left to go home.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA, you were absolutely right in correcting Ms behavior and I'm honestly shocked nobody else did ###### |
This happened about 5 years ago, but my mom has brought it up recently and renewed the debate.
A bit of background: my parents got divorced when I was 4 (17 now) and they VERY strongly dislike each other. The only reason they act somewhat civil is because of me. They have shared custody, so I live with each for half the week. My mom never remarried, so I remain her only child. My dad remarried to my step mom when I was 6 and she already had 2 daughters, one who is only a few months older than me.
Anyways, I started asking to get my ears pierced the summer before 7th grade. My parents said I was too young to take care of them myself, but they were starting to consider it. Since I am my mom's only child (and therefore only daughter), she strongly believes she should be the one to experience all the girl things with me for the first time. She was very upset she didn't get to help me with my first period, as I was on vacation with my dad's family. She was almost resentful towards my step mom for helping me. She insisted on being the one to teach me how to shave, even though she refused to teach me, even when I started to look like Cousin It.
Getting my ears pierced was also a "rite of passage" she wanted to go through with me. I kept asking, but she would always put it off. One day, my dad went to take my sister out to get her ears pierced, and asked if I wanted to go, too. I said yes, and we went to the typical place where little girls get their ears pierced.
I sent my mom a picture and she was ENRAGED. She was very upset with me for "going behind her back" to do a "feminine rite of passage" with my dad and not with her. She told me she was going to take me and she was... she just never made time for it. She was also mad at my dad for not telling her beforehand.
Maybe I should have at least told her in advance that I was going to get my ears pierced, but I was 11 and wanted them pierced lol. AITA? ###### | NTA, you were a kid. Your dad sucks a bit because he knew your mum wanted to experience this milestone with you. Your mum sucks a bit too, since she seems to think she can claim milestones and do absolutely nothing with/about them. ###### |
On mobile.
I'm currently breastfeeding my month old daughter. I do it wherever I happen to be in the house but mainly in my chair in the living room. Before my daughter was even born, I had chats with my 6 year old son and almost 4 year old step daughter. I explained what breasts were, what they're for, why daughter would be sucking and eating from them, how it's natural and not shameful, and it isn't something for them to stare at and make a huge deal out of. I had to have several repeat conversations with step daughter because she would stare and seemed to make a big deal of it. I answered all questions she had and I thought all was well.
Today my fiance came to me and told me I need to breastfeed in our bedroom only. I told him it wasn't happening. He then told me his daughter tried breastfeeding on her mother and her mom is now throwing a fit because I do it in front of her daughter. AITA if I refuse to breastfeed in the bedroom? It leaves the kids mostly to their own devices. They wouldn't have someone to talk to, feed them, play with them, supervise them, etc. ###### | NTA, you went about it in a very thoughtful way, and it's not something you should have to hide especially if you wouldn't be able to supervise the other two. Your husband should have backed you up on this. ###### |
My husband of almost 9 yrs (who suffers from untreated anxiety and depression-m, age 36) wants us to sell our house and move our family(two sons in elementary) across the country to live in a lower cost state so he can have more land and flexibility to start his mini farm or whatever other business he fancies. It would mean leaving two good paying stable jobs, a great small community with a great school district and all of my family including my aging 70 yr old parents. And I just don't want to. His goals are noble as he wants to live debt free and find a job he is more passionate about in a state with a lower cost of living. He thinks this will make him happy but it means giving up my entire life to move to a state where the only people we know are his family. He is potentially able to work remotely in his field or get another job but my career field is harder to break into after relocation which would mean I probably wouldn't work and would be giving up my career.
And one important fact to consider is that we tried this five years ago- moving to his more affordable home state to be near his family. We ended up moving back to my home state because we weren't happy. This is where we live currently.
This disagreement in our marriage is causing major issues and he's been depressed but I still am not convinced that he would be happy even if we did move. He just isn't very nice to me which makes it hard for me to consider giving up so much on the slight chance this move would make him happy especially when he hasn't been willing to seek conventional treatment for his depession. Aita for refusing to move to try to make him happy? ###### | NTA, you tried this ‘solution’ once and it didn’t work. There’s no point in sacrificing the stable life you have and upheaving the kids from their friends and school to give it another try.
You mentioned your husband has *untreated* depression and anxiety. I think if he wants to be happy he needs to address that in itself. Moving somewhere else won’t change how he feels. He needs to tackle this head on and see a doctor who can help him move forward - possibly with medication and a referral for the appropriate therapy. ###### |
I'm 21M, and got a really good job a few months before lockdown, around the same time we both got a puppy together. I've been busy with work through lockdown, whereas my partner deffered study because A. she hates her degree anyway and B. she can't study online.
I've been arguably busier than ever, whereas she's been left to her own devices a lot more recently. Lately she's been getting upset that I'm not paying enough attention to her/spending enough time with her. We go to the park with our puppy twice a day for 1-2 hours each time, I cook her dinner and we watch a movie together every night. We go to a drive in theatre that's still open once a week, and have an average sex life.
I also start work at 6am every morning to maintain the lifestyle we have, because I was finishing too late most days when I worked 9-5 (I work from home full time.)
I decided to talk to her about this, because I personally feel like I dedicate a lot to our relationship. She basically said that she feels like dead weight around the house and has been putting more effort than ever into our relationship, basically all her focus. I, on the other hand, have been working really hard to have a diverse life of interests. So she's felt that on the evenings when I'm worn out from work, that I'm not giving her enough.
She said that she feels like she has to prove her value to me, to make herself feel like she has value. I told her that no matter how hard she tries to show me that she has value, she's never going to believe me when I tell her that she already has it. The only person that can make her feel like she has value is herself, it's unreasonable to expect that from me and makes me withdraw emotionally because it's stressful.
She spent the afternoon crying and hasn't really talked to me since. She got kind of mad at me for saying it? AITA? Is there an asshole here? I don't know. ###### | NTA, you stated a truth that she needs to hear. It's fine to put focus in your relationship but ALL of it is very unhealthy ###### |
This happened a while back but I’m bored so here goes-
I had mentioned to my neighbour across the street that I was going to buy a sofa bed for our office to use for overnight guests. She offered us a small one she had in her basement that she never used. It was old but in good shape but the mattress had to be replaced. Said great, thanks, and I bought a new mattress for it (she knew I was putting money into it).
So after a year and a half or so I sold the couch and I had also listed a bunch of other stuff on FB because we were changing up the house and moving the guest room and getting a queen bed for it. The couch wasn’t worth anything, there are tons of free couches like it listed on kijiji, FB etc but I wanted to get back what I could from the mattress purchase (it was a $200 mattress and had been slept on once). I ended up selling it for $75.
Neighbour saw my FB ads and she comments on one of the pics saying that if I’m getting rid of the sofa bed she wants it back.
I didn’t respond and then that night she sends me a FB message, “As per my comment, blah blah want the sofa bed back if you are getting rid of it”.
I responded that i no longer needed it so I sold it to recoup some of the cost of the new mattress.
She then blocked me on FB.
Was I TA here by selling it and not offering it back to her first? I had tossed the original mattress. It literally did not occur to me at all to ask her if she wanted it back. ###### | NTA, you spent $200 on it! ###### |
I’m cis but some people around me insist I’m trans. AITA for being mad?
I’m a cisgender woman, I’m a lesbian and have a pretty butch look (short hair, tall, broad-shouldered) but I solidly identify as female. Repeatedly throughout my life, I have been told by multiple people that I may be trans or am in denial about it, and it has gotten extremely frustrating for me because it has gotten to a pretty far point where I’m nearly living my life as a male even though I’m not male and I don’t want to be. In my group home when I was around 14 I was called by a male name instead of my female name assigned at birth, and was told by multiple peers (including trans friends) that I was trans like them. I know they didn’t mean any harm, but it made me feel a little uncomfortable, because I’m not male and being misgendered all the time made me start questioning my identity even though previously I had no issue with it. I came out to my mom a couple years ago and she told me she thought I was trans and not gay. My mom told me she believes I have the spirit of a boy and I may be confused (she’s both homophobic and transphobic, so I’m not sure why she would care either, but I think it would be easier for her to accept that I am trans rather than having an extremely masculine daughter).
When she made a joke about me being male recently, I got angry and told her that she and everyone else who’s said the same thing is misrepresenting who I am. We got in a fight about it and I argued that I want her to stop talking about it and she explained that she believes butch lesbian and trans are the same thing, and I’m just trying to be a boy. I’m not sure if she misunderstands or if she’s saying that to spite me. I’ve been sort of afraid to say anything back to these people because I don’t want to come off as transphobic and I acknowledge I should’ve set boundaries at the beginning. AITA for getting mad at her comments? ###### | NTA, you shouldn’t have to continue to explain to people why you want to be referred to as your preferred name and gender. It’s a lack of boundaries and lack of respect issue if people who know you continue to misgender you. I can’t imagine why they can’t understand that you’re comfortable with who you are, and in the body you have. ###### |
So here's the thing. We're out of quarantine but the rules are still strict. If you enter transportation without a mask you'll get fined. Another way to distance each other in buses, methods etc. is that they forbid us from sitting next to each other. They have put a sign on every two seats to remind people.
Another problem is that is young people stay in home to protect the elderly, yet in my country the elderly refuse to stay home and it's extremely annoying.
Today I had a group meeting with some other students to talk about a team project. I had to carry many things with me, like A1 papers and my designer.
When I finally sat on the bus, my back and hands ached like crazy. It didn't help the fact that today we had a heatwave. I managed to let my backpack to the seat next to me.
Now she enters. An old entitled Lady (around 60 or so). She is loud and she's not wearing a mask which is illegal. She comes to me(I was close to the door) and tells me to pick up my bag so she can see. I showed her the sign and told her that she can't sit here.
She responded, that I'm a rude bitch, I don't respect the elderpy, I steal all the space etc.
Once again I told her she's not allowed to sit next to anyone. She then proceeds to call me an asshole.
The thing that got me was that other people in the bus told me I was rude and didn't respect the elderly. I really didn't want to be a Karen, but I was tired, achy and followed the law.
I'm writing this from my phone, and on the bus. Please tell me if I made any mistakes (English is not my first language)
AITA? ###### | NTA, you shouldn't be pressured into letting anyone come within a safe distance of you during a pandemic. Usually you should give your seat to the elderly but in this case if you were sore from a days work you weren't in the wrong. ###### |
I lost a lot of weight (over 100lbs) in a short period of time, I understand it can take some getting used to, but I'm very tired of the comments.
I am a 24 year old guy, this kind of shit doesn't usually bother me but I can't seem to go a single day at work without some comment about my weight loss. It's been non stop since we reopened after lockdown.
Here are some of the rumours about me: I have cancer, I have aids, I'm on drugs.
I'm tired of it. Yes I'm quite skinny now, but no one was "concerned" about me when I was fat! It's all fake, they don't actually care, it's just gossip to them. There are plenty other people at work that are my weight or thinner, and no one cares!
A couple of coworkers seem legitimately concerned, but they were more polite. Even then I still get annoyed because my weight is quite frankly nobody's business but mine. People will bring me food from the vending machines and stare at me when I eat and it makes me nervous. I'm on a strict diet because obviously I have to MAINTAIN my weight loss, I can't just eat chocolate bars.
Yesterday one of the more gossipy ones, an older lady in her 50s, approached me in front of everyone telling me she was concerned I wasn't healthy and I wasn't able to do my job.
I'm perfectly able to do my job. I angrily told her it was none of her business and that if there were issues with how I was doing the job someone higher up would tell me. She then asked me straight up if I was using drugs. I yelled at her "I'm not on drugs and I don't have cancer either. Is a fat person losing weight really this shocking to you?" I then I turned to everyone watching and said if they make one more comment I'm going to HR.
Since then people have been kind of avoiding me and I wonder if I dealt with it too harshly. My only friend left at work said that people felt a bit uneasy around me and they thought I was overly aggressive.
AITA? ###### | NTA, you should go to HR. If they were talking about your weight loss with admiration that's one thing, but this sounds a lot more like defamatory accusations.
edit- I'm not going to creep through your post history but based on numerous comments please look out for your health and see a doctor to make sure you're losing weight safely. ###### |
So I’m still working (grocery/retail store) with the whole COVID pandemic going on, except now I’m working long hours almost everyday of the week (I’ve worked 12 days in a row with no day off). I get pretty annoyed with my job as I often deal with shitty management and rude customers regardless of the situation that’s going on.
Every time I try to complain to my family about work they just say, “well at least you’re working”, “you’re getting paid stop complaining”, etc.
I understand that I’m lucky I’m still employed while others are struggling to meet ends meet but I just want people to sympathize with me that my job isn’t all that great either.
I feel as though I have a right to complain. I have to deal with rude customers who are constantly getting angry from long lineups, less product in the store for their choosing, prices, and set limits for certain supplies. All while these people are surrounding me constantly when you’re supposed to be social distancing. Not to mention the little to no paid PPE from my job (I have to pay for my own PPE).
I go to work and expose myself everyday to this virus so that people can buy the things they need. I’m just sick of people saying I’m lucky because I have a job meanwhile I’m putting myself and my family at risk at all times with no benefit except for a minimum wage pay check.
AITA for complaining about being employed while others are seriously struggling. ###### | NTA, you should be grateful you’re working but that doesn’t mean you can’t be upset with your situation. I’m in the same boat man hope this all blows over soon. ###### |
Hey all, I’m a college cheer coach, and when I recruited a school I noticed that their coach wasn’t exactly the best. She seemed very rude to the team, and in general. (Which isn’t why I’m posting, just a bit about her). She didn’t care for safety, as she would have the girls throw baskets when they practiced under a low ceiling, and the girls would subsequently crash into the ceiling but she would tell them to suck it up or get taken out. That in itself is a major safety violation, and she does blatantly. I called her out on it, but she laughed and said it doesn’t matter. I wrote an email to the AD, but never got a response.
Now the same coach is making the team fundraise for her and two girls to go to Hawaii for a cheer camp. Which I don’t think the whole team should have to fundraise. But the real kicker is that she plans on taking her family as well, and that her family is included in the team fundraising. I feel like that’s a big no no, and pretty unethical.
So Reddit. Would I be the asshole if I reported this coach for her blatant safety disregards and now this fundraising stunt to her ADs? I would get in contact with the other assistant ADs for this happen. I feel like I should step in as I also coach this sport and don’t want to see other people get hurt because of this coach. Thanks all! ###### | NTA, you should *absolutely* be reporting her for breaking safety violations. As an ex-cheerleader I almost wanted to say Y T A for not having reported her as soon as she had her team doing something as dangerous as basket tosses under a low ceiling. ###### |
I pay for my own Hulu account and I let my mom watch tv on it which is fine because that’s my mom. I was at my boyfriends and signed in on my account on the tv in his room, but his sister took the tv into her room and has been using my account. I found out because I was looking at my watch history and there were a bunch of shows I don’t watch on it. I asked my boyfriend and he said she took the tv today. Am I the asshole for removing the tv from my device history? She’s been complaining and texting me to let her use it again. Calling me selfish and how she just wants to watch tv because she’s bored. Mind you she’s 17 with no job and always is asking me for favors. I don’t feel bad but she texted me a long message about how the tv went out while she was in the middle of the show. This happened once before on the downstairs tv and his mom wanted me to sign in for her so she could finish her show because she didn’t want to pay for her own account...I didn’t. I don’t feel like an asshole and my boyfriend said it’s not a big deal, but she keeps bugging me to let her back on. I don’t think I’m selfish or stingy. I work my own job and can afford it. ###### | NTA, you pay for it with your own money and therefore you decide who gets to use it. It would be different if she was sliding you a few bucks a month for it, but kinda rude of her to keep insisting on you giving it to her. ###### |
She has started doing this thing where when we order food she will tell me she doesn't want something I am getting, a milkshake for example. We get our food and then she'll ask for a bite. No problem. But it never is just one bite or even half of my food. She'll finish all of it. After this kept happening, I thought I could just order two of whatever I was getting and that would work. Wrong. If I order an extra for her after she tells me no she never eats it, so it goes to waste.
The same thing happens if I cook. I eat meat and she does not and has not for years, but she recently started wanting some of it and then would eat it all herself the same way she was doing with our takeout. If I ask her if she wants me to fix a portion for her, she says no because "she doesn't eat meat" and will even get upset at me for asking because I am "trying to get her to eat meat."
I do meal prep for myself, and the story is the same for that too. She eats the meals I have prepared for lunch.
This happens all the time now, at almost every meal. It never matters what I do or how I try to plan ahead because the result is always the same. I finally got so fed up with having to always find something else for myself and started refusing to give her any of my food. I told her if she wants her own then let me know and I will get it but otherwise she can't have any of mine. I tried to be reasonable and compromise, but she has given me no choice.
She thinks I am an ogre for refusing to share food with her since she is having my child and I need to support her, but all I am asking for is for her to stop taking all of my food after I have given her every chance to have her own! AITA? ###### | NTA, you offered to prepare her an extra portion so you could have yours and she could eat as well. Next time, prepare the extra, stick it somewhere it'll keep warm, and when she's done eating yours, bring it out and finish your dinner. When she asks what's going on, tell her you made the extra b/c you knew she was going to eat most of your food. ###### |
I have been noticing this for a while. Back before we had out daughter, everything on her Instagram was about our son (6). Nothing strange about that. She loved showing him off and taking pictures between them, but as soon as our daughter (3) was born, I noticed the shift.
Out of the \~71 photos she has posted since January 1, I saw one of just her and our son. It was one she posted on his birthday, and it wasn't even a new photo of him. She has \~32 photos of her and our daughter or our daughter by herself. The rest are family photos. This is basically the pattern you see if you go all the way back to when our daughter was born.
If our son hated taking pictures, I could understand. He doesn't. My wife just seems to be obsessed with our daughter and particularly doing matching outfit photos of the two of them. I could feel she was more excited about her pregnancy with our daughter than our son, and this has only continued.
I'm not saying my wife is a bad mother to our son, but I see the favoritism.
I sat her down and told her that she is favoring our daughter and someday our son is going to see this and wonder why she loves him less than our daughter. She took offense to this and cried because she said I was telling her she was a bad mother. She denied that she is favoring our daughter but to me the proof is in the photos.
AITA for what I said? ###### | Nta, you noticed the favoritism early on and called it out. I am the oldest of 3 other brothers and the "baby" of the family is definitely the favorite, at first the favorite was my 2nd brother but then 7 years later mom had another kid and he became the favorite. It's fucked up psychology but in the US I think it's natural because my high school friends went through similar shits. My dad always called it out though so you should definitely be that dad because your boy will hopefully remember you sticking up for his ass too. ###### |
I (29f) am German. I'm married to an Australian. For the last 5 years we have been living in Australia but I have always been very clear about the fact that I would eventually want to move back to Germany, especially when it was time to have kids. My husband was on board and last year we started looking for jobs in Germany. I got one pretty much straight away. My husband had some more trouble but eventually he found something too. We were set to move in September. My parents organised a nice house for us and everything looked great.
Unfortunately due to certain events I have been furloughed and am on jobseeker's. My husband is still working luckily. We figured since we're moving to Germany soon I could come off birth control. We'll apparently I'm very fertile because I got pregnant pretty much straight away. At first we were both overjoyed but then a few days later my husband basically broke down and said he didn't want to leave Australia and he wants his child to grow up here.
I was absolutely gobsmacked because he never said anything that would have made me think that he wasn't on board with Germany. I told him that pretty much from day 1 I had been very clear about where I eventually wanted to live and that I I still felt the same. It escalated into a huge fight and eventually we broke up. I'm devastated but also feel betrayed in a way. This happened 7 weeks ago. 3 days ago I arrived in Germany. I had to get away since he basically kicked me out of our house and I didn't see why I would look for a place in Australia when I will start my new job in September.
My (ex) husband thinks I should have stayed in Australia since the baby was conceived there. He thinks I stole the baby from him and accused me of fleeing the country. ###### | NTA, you made it very clear from the beginning that you wanted to move to Germany and he agreed. You both made plans to move and you did. You're not "fleeing the country", you just did what you (both!) had planned. He should have told you from the beginning how he felt if he didnt feel like moving to Germany. ###### |
Hi, so today, I(16M) and my family was talking about something that can't be mentioned in this subreddit. I said that I wanted to say what I thought about that subject, and my sister started giggling about how I was going to say something stupid probably taken from a youtube video. My dad laughed with her and insinuated that I was going to say something dumb, and my mom said how she was going to see if I was her son, insinuating that she is smart. I really got offended since my whole family was saying that I was dumb, and I really don't think so. I have really bad grades since I started studying in Switzerland (in German), and that's my 4th language, so I get 3 and 4 out of 6 regularly. After that, I took my dishes, cleaned them and came to my room (I had already finished my dinner). Everyone says that I should come back and that was being rude. I am now in my room and I wonder, AITA here? P.S.: sorry for grammar errors, I'm not a native speaker.
​
Edit: 30 min later, my mom knocked and apologised, my sister was embarrassed and my dad didnt say anything. Thank you all for the advice! ###### | NTA, you made an intelligent choice by removing yourself when you were upset. Even if they were only joking, they still hurt you and once they saw how they made you feel they should have reached out to apologise.
Regardless though, being able to remove yourself from a situation rather than escalating it and getting into a fight shows a lot of maturity.
Well done on your grades - most people struggle to get decent grades in their first language, let alone their fourth! ###### |
A few months ago I found a pair of Birkenstock’s at a thrift store. The exact style and size I wanted, perfect condition, for $17. I couldn’t believe it! I have been searching for some for years. I lent them to my sister so she could wear them to the beach yesterday. She comes in the house barefoot and I don’t think much of it, they’re probably in her car or bag. I ask her later that night for them as I was heading out and she realizes she forgot them at the beach. She said they started to hurt her feet so she opted to go barefoot and must have left them on accident. She goes back to check but they were no where to be found. I’m upset, of course, but she didn’t mean it on purpose. They’re shoes and can be replaced. These shoes are $100 new. I told her she could give me money, or she could buy a new pair herself. She said it wasn’t fair that I only paid $17 and she’d have to pay so much more. The ones she lost were real leather, and I wanted her to buy the vegan leather as a replacement, as I don’t buy new leather. This is already saving her 30 to 40 bucks. I told her I’d be fine with a second hand pair in good condition, and told her of a few websites were she could find some. Even those were around $50-60 dollars and she didn’t want to pay it. I loved those sandals and barely even got a chance to wear them because it was still cold when I found them. AITA for making her pay for new sandals? ###### | NTA, you lose someone’s stuff, you replace it. ###### |
I'm a 22 year old dude.
So I was in the emergency room last night, and they ended up diagnosing me with something called Epiploic Appendagitis, which I will spare you specific details but roughly once a month a lot of blood comes out and I get extremely bad stomach pain. The stomach pain was bad enough that I felt the need to go to the ER during a pandemic yesterday, to give some sense of scale.
My family followed me to the hospital, and were waiting outside in the car for five hours while they ran various scans on me.
After I got discharged and I was talking with my family about how there wasn't really any treatment plan for it (it's not actually a super serious condition) and I'd probably just have to deal with it, I said something along the lines of "it can't be worse than having a period once a month"
My sister, 19, called me insensitive, my mom found it hilarious, and my dad said I probably shouldn't talk about things I don't know much about.
My sister is still kind of pissed at me, but I honestly don't think I was making light of periods or anything. I mean I was in the hospital with enough pain that they were talking about giving me the good stuff (which I turned down, but it was offered). And it seems that unless I get my nutrition just right, I'm going to be in that amount of pain at random points for the rest of my life.
But also my dad is right and I genuinely don't know what I'm talking about. I mean I did grow up with a little sister and good parents who explained everything so I'm not ignorant on periods at all but I might be missing something.
I probably wouldn't tell anyone outside my family that I even have this at all, so I don't really have to worry about whether I make this joke in front of others, but I kind of want to know if it is a dick thing to say. ###### | NTA, you literally made light of your issue by saying it's not as bad as a period. ###### |
I (15M) live with my little sister (11F) and mother.
My mother and little sister argue A LOT. My little sister does show some problems with anger and will start yelling very easily.
One of the most recent very bad arguments was about her bed time. I was not present as it happened in my mom’s room, but I could most definitely hear both of them screaming at each other.
After, my little sister told me she had been pinned against the bed. Though I didn’t see it, so I can’t confirm that, it is very possible that could have happened.
I went into my mother’s room, and this conversation followed:
Me: “Can I say something that you might not like? About arguing with [my littler sister]?”
Mother: “Yes”
Me: “I think it would be better if you tried to keep your cool more. She’s never gonna learn to regulate emotions if her role model for that is yelling a lot too”
Mother (now annoyed): “Just get out, [my name]”
She was cold to me for the rest of the day and when I brought it up to my aunt I was also told I was an asshole for “disrespecting my own mother”.
However, I really tried to do it respectfully and didn’t think I came off as rude.
Am I the asshole? ###### | Nta, you just pointed that out politely ###### |
Backstory: me and my bf have been together for just over two years and he recently got his own place. lived with me for 8/9 months till he got his place
So my bf recently got his first flat. while not the best out there it's not too bad for a first place to live ny yourself. i couldn't move in with him as it was off the local council as he grew up in care. now when he lived with me he was a bit messy but it was never too bad. normally only took a few minutes to sort ot out. since he moved in just before the lock down i have only just been able to see him for the first day in ages. i went round and his flat was disgusting. he had shit every where. the window was tightly closed with the curtains drawn.
His flat stank to high heaven. like I had to make sure to breathe threw my mouth for most of the time i was there. when i was leaving i told him im not coming round again till he had properly deep cleaned hia place. he started going on about how i knew he was a messy person and i knew what i was getting into. First of all there's being a messy person i will admit i am bit of a messy person i don't always put stuff away and can leave things lying out sometime and forget about it for a while. but there's being messy and being a a pig and living in a pig stye. i told him it was none negotiable and he started calling me an arse hole for the hole thing. i said im not being an arse hole for refusing to sit a dirty flat with the window and curtains shut stinking it up even mode. safe to say i left and refusing to go back
he decided to start messaging some friends as we share quite a few of the same friends telling tug me about what happened with some saying i was and others saying i was right and i should have to sit in those conditions
Guess i am asking AITA for refusing to see my bf till he sorts his flat out ###### | NTA, you if you don't set your boundaries, then there won't be any when it matters. Also a small thing, but if my gf is coming over i clean up everything, clothes, dishes, etc. Because despite being over 2 years i still want to impress her and not have her be in the mess i live in. If he truly cares, he will get his act together. He's just forced to act on something he knows isn't right or good, and he's lashing out like a child. Like a child who got an F in a class and gets pissed at his parents for calling him out. He doesn't like that his mistake and fuck ups were mentioned, when they should be getting fixed ###### |
Some years ago I was driving to work when I was struck by another vehicle who... let’s say the other driver (Jackass) should not have been driving at that time. I’ll always remember him laughing his fat ass off as the ambulance pulled away.
Long hospital stay, multiple surgeries, fired from my job, lots of unkind gossip; and my kids/husband/parents and I suffered.
I managed to claw my way into a good job now but went through a lot of shit first.
Although Jackass has never apologized to me, his pastor (my dad’s stepbrother’s wife’s nephew) reached out to me to express he’s “sorry” and “in a program”. He asked me not to proceed with the lawsuit as it’s not “Biblical”.
Their “church family” harassed and bullied me a ton over the years, to the point that law encirclement & my kids’ schools have had to get involved.
I just settled the lawsuit for max $$ though I have perm scars, PTSD, and physical limitations as a result of my injuries. There are people who refuse to be around me bc of being grossed out by my scars.
Pastor called me again, reiterated Jackass is sorry, and that for his “recovery” I am somehow obligated to forgive him in front of his very large congregation. I told Pastor to go fuck himself and have let everyone know that I’m afraid of Pastor and of Jackass.
Step-uncle (whom I’ve never liked) just called to ask me to reconsider - apparently MY calling the cops and filing the lawsuit has caused both Pastor and Jackass to have trouble at their jobs. Apparently Jackass wants to get his citizenship & Pastor wants to be a foster parent and claim my refusal to forgive blocks both.
Step-uncle’s family never ONCE reached out to see how my family and I were doing. But they organized a meal train and a free lawyer for Jackass.
I maintain that IDGAF, I never heard any compassion or remorse from Jackass or his church; why should I care about their ego now.
Who’s TA here? ###### | NTA, you have no obligation to forgive him and based on the behavior of the involved parties after the fact, actively making it worse, there is no reason to. ###### |
Here's the situation... I recently had a baby. When I found out I was pregnant I decided to buy a house as my apartment is a 1 bedroom and much too small. I found a building with 3 seperate apartments, which I planned to move into the 3 bedroom on the bottom floor. I closed on the house in March and informed the tenant about my plans to move in.
Because of covid I agreed to allow them to stay a few month's longer, but now the covid in our area has subsided for the most part and business are opened back up.
I wouldn't be in such a hurry except that I've had several complaints from neighbors and my other tenants about the property. These people have at least 8 cars parked in the front of the house at a time, most of them unregistered and no inspection. I received an Order to Remedy Violation from the town zoning officer. And the entire yards looks like a scrap yard with all the car parts and tires laying around. One of my good tenants told me she plans to move if they aren't gone soon because she can't stand the "ruckus" that goes on every day.
There are also repairs needed to the plumbing and windows in the basement that they are not allowing me to get to.
I feel like they are taking advantage of my kindness and my property. I know it's hard to find a place that quickly and move out but we don't have a lease and in my state I'm only required to give the 30 days. ###### | NTA, you have no legal requirement for a longer notice period and they are very definitely problem tenants who are likely going to cost you money (be prepared to repair the damage they have/will cause to the unit) and possibly other tenants. You will be the asshole, on the other hand, if you don't get rid of them since they are making life worse for your good tenants and your neighbors. ###### |
I don’t drink, I haven’t for nearly two years.
My dad likes to drink a lot, my brother is a straight up alcoholic in denial our family/his wife have tried to help. But he claims he’s fine.
When both of them drink they became even bigger sexist, racist assholes. They make sexist comments about women, gross homophobic jokes about the LGBT community and throw around the N Word more than they should (we’re white that word should never leave their mouths)
I am a pansexual woman.
My brother hangs out with me a couple times a week because we have a lot in common and like hanging out, but every time he comes over he brings at least two six packs of beers. He leaves empty bottles all over the place, once in the shower. My bins are in my parking lot (literally two feet from his own car) but even if I ask he won’t take them to the trash when he leaves. It thoroughly annoys me because I don’t like having any of it in my house.
Last week my brother and I planned a “sleepover” to get stoned and hang out, our usual thing. I told him please not to bring alcohol over because I didn’t want it here. The next day my brother cancelled the plans because he was “busy”
Queue videos on Snapchat of him at a mates drinking. Fine he got a better offer.
But it hurt, I know he cancelled our plans because I asked him not to bring booze but I’m also not comfortable having alcohol in my house anymore because when he starts drinking he’s an asshole and likes to start fights about issues he knows I care about i.e woman’s right, gay rights, sexism etc. He makes rude comments and when I get upset or argue against it he tells me to “calm down it’s just a joke” but I don’t find it funny.
I don’t want alcohol in my home but I’m worried it’ll hurt my relationship with him if I don’t allow him to drink at mine.
Should I hold my ground or give in and just let him drink so I can have a relationship with my brother (I’ve already been disowned by my sister for various reason) ###### | NTA, you have boundaries and your brother crosses them when he drinks. Since he obviously can’t drink in moderation, banning alcohol entirely seems like your only option so you can enjoy your time with him.
If you’re able to, maybe sit down with him and explain why you’d prefer no alcohol; but that you also don’t want to lose the relationship you have with him. ###### |
An old friend I knew from AA 15 years ago reached out for money saying she and her husband were broke due to covid and she had already exhausted family and friends. I said I would paypal her 100 bucks. No problem.
When she got the money she then texted, thanks and by the way she was still “ bouncing” (a term meaning unable to stay clean/sober and her drugs of choice is opiates).
So of course I started texting her asking if she was ok and if she was using. I said don’t worry about the money, I just want to make sure you are ok!!!
No response.. i tried again later that night and twice the next day. No response.
I reached out to a mutual acquaintance who informed me she “got me” and was using and had almost died from an overdose last year.
I texted her one more time and said I was sending the police to do a wellness check if she didn’t respond. I was freaking out she was going to OD on money I gave her. No response.
I called the non emergency number for local police in her town and told them I was concerned about her. They asked why and I said she may have relapsed. I didn’t say on what.
So they went to her house and she was fine and then my phone blew up with indignation and threats and profanity. Blocked.
So.. AITA?? ###### | NTA, you have a heart of gold but I'm hoping you know this person was just taking your money for a fix. ###### |
Me and my boyfriend recently (6 months ago) moved in to our first property together, in which we have a spare bedroom that we agreed to rent out to a friend of mine who has never left home, let's call her M. For some context I have been friends with M for almost 20 years, always pretty tight and open with each other.
6 months down the line her boyfriend has asked her to move in with her, not great timing as my father has just been in a car accident which nearly took his life and I was also up for redundancy, but if this is what will make her happy then I'm fine with it. Took a couple of weeks for them to find a place and we found someone to take her room who we trust. Now all we needed to do was organise the moving date.
Now I repeatedly ask M to provide me her moving date and she first said September, then end of August and finally the beginning of August. I needed a solid date to provide my new tenant for their move, so I had a verbal agreement with M that if I wasnt provided a date by july 14th, that her moving date would be set to august the 1st. This mean i can give my new tenant a set date as they desperately need one.
Now M decides to go to france for a 2 week holiday and does not provide me with a moving date so it's set to august 1st. 3 days ago she informs me through Facebook messenger (whilst upstairs in the same house) she wont be able to move until august 8th. I tell her this isnt really acceptable, we had an agreement and the date must stay as august 1st due to commitments I have made with other people.
After calling me unfair and saying she did everything she could have done in the situation, which I feel isnt true, she has not spoken to me since. She immediately started to pack her things and move out, including taking an mattress that belongs to my mum without asking and called me pathetic when I asked for its return. AITM for expecting her to move out a week early? ###### | NTA, you had an agreement and she has to stick to that! It seems like she really didn’t care or try to sort this situation out for herself and now she has to deal with it herself, it’s not your problem at all!
P.S. try to get that mattress back, not cool M! ###### |
My husband (30m) and I (30f) are expecting our first child, a girl. I'm 30 weeks along, and we're very excited, as are our families. I've always gotten along with my Mother In Law, so this was pretty surprising.
Unfortunately, his grandma passed away recently, and his family is understandably devastated. My MIL (Grandma's only daughter) asked us if we would consider naming the baby after Grandma. We haven't fully picked out a name yet, so ordinarily we'd consider it, but there's one big issue with the name: His grandma's first name was Hermione. In case anyone doesn't know, Hermione is a main character in the Harry Potter series and it's a pretty uncommon name, so anyone who met our daughter would assume she's named after that Hermione (who I have nothing against, I do like the books and movies). Harry Potter is so popular that I'm positive that she'd be teased for it.
MIL called us again last night, asking about the name, and we said we didn't want to name her after Grandma. MIL asked why, and we said that since Harry Potter is so popular, she'd be teased about it and asked questions about it her whole life. MIL got upset, and was crying a little. She said "we cared more about some books and movies than her dead mother" and that we were "dishonoring" Grandma and proved that we didn't care about her or MIL.
We've since been getting texts from FIL and SIL saying that we were breaking MIL's heart and ruining Grandma's memory. I was talking with my sister about it, and she said we should at least consider it as a middle name and shouldn't have been so negative with MIL.
I'm feeling guilty, since Grandma was a very kind person and I'd like to honor her memory somehow, and maybe we should have compromised somehow? AITA? ###### | NTA, you get to choose your kids name. People can get weird about what you name your baby. If you want to make a compromise with her and still honor grandma, maybe it'd be possible to use the middle name? ###### |
Hi everybody. It’s me. Again.
I recently went to Walmart with my mom and younger siblings and my younger brother (9, autistic which is relevant because of what my mom said) was preparing for summer camp. My mom said he needed to pick a towel. He picked a pink one with pretty butterfly’s. I said,”good choice, bub.” And my mom immediately looked upset. She asked him,”don’t you want one that’s less girly?” He started crying. She was like,”fine, whatever. Get that one.” I pulled him aside and told him that it’s okay to like things that other people consider girly because objects aren’t gendered and he should just pick what he liked. My mother was fuming. He wanted to window shop in the toy aisle so we walked over there and while he was browsing, she told me that I was way out of line and he’s already autistic and she doesn’t want to give kids one more thing to pick on him for. Now I’m 19. I told her this isn’t the 90s. Kids don’t do shit like that and I was a kid a very short time ago so I should know but she berated me over and over for it and we got in another argument about it today.
TL;DR: AITA for telling my brother to like whatever he wants despite what my mom says?
So reddit, AITA here? She’s making me second guess myself. ###### | NTA, you gave your brother good advice. Your mother's attitude is outdated. And the fact that people might make fun of him is no reason to discourage him expressing himself authentically. That's a crap message to send to your kid. ###### |
I’m sure I’d be TA here but I wanted to double check because I’m an idiot.
I gave my girlfriends nephew $800 for his class trip. The trip cost around $2400USD & I felt generous after hearing his parents were struggling to meet the monthly payments. I gave it to him in private and really adore this kid.
Now, his class trip has been cancelled. His mother and father now have possession of the money and intend on using for their own purposes.
The money was a gift to him, not their family.
WIBTA if I asked for the money back? If not, I’m lost as to how to bring it up without coming across as a douchebag BIL.
Edit: it appears the money may be allocated towards a family vacation. Not sure how that changes people’s opinions. ###### | NTA, you gave a conditional gift. The condition was that the nephew got to go on the class trip.
You could bring it up by offering to hold on to it until the trip is rescheduled, or ask them to hold on to it for his next class trip/big event. ###### |
I am a (16f) and I work part time at Walmart to save up money for college. My parents aren’t very well off and haven’t saved any money for my education. I don’t blame them for this but it’s also been stressing me out, which is why I wanted to get a job.
My grandma lives in England and came to my house to visit more than a month ago. My mom has been begging me to give my grandma $500 because I am the first of her grandchildren to get a job and it would be a special gift. My mom also thinks that I should give her this money to show appreciation to her because my grandma has sent me money in the past. However, that was only once and my mom made me lie to my grandma and say I received the money even though my mom used it all. My mom has also been taking my money for other things and calling me selfish and ungrateful if I object.
This really bothers me because I am trying to save up money for college because my parents never did. It feels as though if my parents cared about my future they would leave my money alone and see that I am trying to better myself. I think it’s also important to mention that my grandma and I have absolutely no relationship due to distance.
I feel really bad and guilty because it’s always been ingrained in me that you’re supposed to give up anything for family and you’re not supposed to disrespect your elders. Am I the asshole for not wanting to give up a piece of my college money for my grandma? ###### | NTA, you earned the money- spend it on what you want. I also feel like surely your grandma would be happy you’re saving for college? The idea of giving her $500 cash as a gift seems ludicrous to me, esp at age 16 ###### |
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