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I have an old highschool friend who hasn't talked to me in a few years but one morning out of the blue he calls me. It's great and all, I was glad to hear from him and was wanting to catch up, but he seemed against catching up and was more focused on wanting to meet up and talk to me about his new job as a "financial advisor". This really stuck a nerve with me as the first thing after years of not talking, he wants to ensure that "this isn't a job pitch or anything".
I mentioned we should get food sometime and shoot the shit but he again seemed hesitant to accept, told me he would send me an email, and we'd get the times in order as we agreed a certain day a week out would work. I never get an email, he never tries to catch up, and texts me on the day of of how hes "excited for our meeting at 1" so he's choosing the time without contacting.
AITA for just saying "no, sorry but I can't do it anymore" now? As a friend I used to know i feel bad for canceling, but also I feel like the first person in his contact book he called and didn't want to deal with excess. ###### | NTA, sounds like one of thode World Financial Group "Financial advisors" which is just a glorified MLM.
Same thing happened to me, i just told him off. ###### |
I've been laid off and have spent a lot of time at home cleaning and organizing. Husband is working from home and mentioned that its nice that everything is so clean and we can actually enjoy our days off instead of always having something to do. So we tossed around the idea of hiring a cleaning service once a week or once every other week to catch up on the cleaning we miss. Mostly vacuuming, dusting, and occasional deep cleaning in the kitchen. We work opposite schedules and find it hard to do this cleaning because we either have our toddler or one of us is asleep.
Apparently this was just hypothetical to him because I did some research and he was surprised when I brought him numbers. (Any cleaning service would be after the current situation). He barely looked at the sheet, handed it back and said he thought we would just hire his mom if we ever needed.
What?
I said no, because we used to live with his parents and his mom is nosey, she has a full time job, and his family has a tendency to over stay their welcome. Husband looked taken aback and asked me to explain. I brought up all the times she would take it upon herself to do our laundry that was in our bedroom with our door closed. "Cleaned" my work spaces, and generally disregarded implied boundaries. I also tacked on that his dad follows his mom everywhere and has a similar disregard for boundaries. He agreed about his dad but seems miffed that I don't want his mom in our home, hired and unsupervised. AITA? ###### | NTA, sounds like him and his mom have poor boundaries if he assumes she will do it. He’s a grown adult mommy shouldn’t be cleaning up after him. ###### |
I f16 and my brother m29 usually get along well but since i was about 10 years old all responability of his daughter f8 has fallen on me. I love my niece so much, shes always been the sweetest kid and i love to play with her, shes like my mini me, but for 2 weeks straight its just like havinv my own kid.
My brother and his ex have split custody and we have my niece 2 weeks out of the month and while shes in i do everything! Getting her ready in the morning, cooking for her, doing her hair, helping her wash her hair in the bath, doing all homework and bedtime reading and playing ALL DAY. I dont mind helping out with her but its expected of me and it can get really Frustrating, especially when i have to stay home from plans and babysit without pay so he can go out. So WITBA if i told him its not my job to raise his child? ###### | Nta, sounds like hes taking advantage of your kindness, tbh. ###### |
Quarentine is making us pathetic y'all.
I have a killer headache and was laying on the couch watching something on Disney plus with the only tv in our house.
My SO asks me if he can play on the PS4 with his friend. I was in the middle of an episode and told him no, I was watching something.
Some quick background here, he plays this game with his friend every night for several hours, and even plays all day sometimes (on the one tv in the house). 99% of the time, I don't care and will stop what I'm doing so he can play. I have other things to do and even like watching sometimes. But this time I didn't feel good and just wanted to watch tv.
I honestly feel like it was unfair of him to try to demand the tv while I was in the middle of something. He'll have all night and his friend will be there later too. He ended up telling me I was being selfish and didn't know how to compromise, which he knew would upset me, and now he has the damn tv because he made me feel bad. He says I should have just given him the tv and watched something on the computer instead. The point wasn't that I wanted to watch something, it was that I wanted to use the tv and don't think I should have had to stop what I was doing just so he could play, since he'll play later too.
AITA for not wanting to stop in the middle of my episode and give him the tv? ###### | NTA, sounds like he needs to learn how to share. It's funny that he called you selfish and unable to compromise since that's exactly how he behaved. ###### |
So the background to this is that I'm pretty sure I have IBS-mixed type, basically I swing from constipated to diarrhea frequently. Nothing is normal, everything hurts and sometimes the urge to go comes on suddenly and painfully. I am in the middle of getting tests started but it's slow going due to covid.
My husband's generally supportive as long as it doesn't inconvenience him personally. The other day, however, was a real surprise. We were on our way to visit at a park with guests, which we can do where we are. Before we entered the park, I received the signal to go, abruptly and painfully, and asked if we could detour slightly to a gas station.
He flipped his lid, yelled that I needed to get my s*** together, pun intended, and then ignored me until we were face to face with our friends. Then he proceeded to give me crap for being on the phone and dangled chocolate at me before snatching it back and saying "you're not hungry, are you?"
I ended up excusing myself, leaving the park on foot and walking about 0.8 km to the bathroom and back. When I got back, our guests were in the middle of leaving. I apologized for leaving and was assured it was totally understandable. After they left, we had a fight. He says I'm TA for being a problem all the time and that I was rude to leave, and I say he's TA for not stopping when it was urgent and that nobody should have to apologize for having to emergency poop. This is the first time he's really been an ass about this in 4 years, but it really stuck with me.
Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA, sound alike your husband is manipulative and controlling. Who treats their partner this way for something they have no control over. Your husband is TA here and you should not be treated like that
As for the IBS can I offer a small piece of advice while your waiting for tests......keep a food journal which you document everything you eat in and the days your IBS flares up. Also IBS can be exacerbated by stress so that may be something to keep track of in the diary also. This may give you a better handle on it as it's a painful and embarrassing condition ###### |
My ex girlfriend and I officially ended things this January after a long drawn out break. Things had been on the rocks for a while. We were initially FWB but decided to be serious after about 2.5 years of doing so. The transition to serious relationship didn’t go well and she wanted an open relationship. She insisted it was more for me as she has a low sex drive and didn’t like feeling pressured to sleep with me more now that we were exclusive.
She works as a waitress and everyone knows the situation the world is in right now. While we were a thing i would cover her rent/phone bill and usually some other things because I’m a dumb ass.
Anyways, she’s baffled I no longer want to help her with her bills given the state of things and her career.
I told her that it is no longer my problem if we are not together. She is accusing me of “forcing” her to prostitute herself to me to pay her bills. I told her if that’s how she saw out relationship then it’s best to stay separated.
AITA? ###### | NTA, sorry you lost a friend in this but she's totally in the wrong here. You were supporting her because you thought you were in a committed relationship. It's pretty clear now that wasn't the case ###### |
I (21f) work at a store with a lot of vendors who bring in their own product. A lot of these vendors are white men in their 60s+, who borderline sexually harass me and the other female staff, are racist, homophobic, rude to service staff, pretty much every negative white conservative baby boomer thing you can think of. They will sit in the store and talk loudly about pro gun rights the day after mass shootings, and pin blame on other races. Ex) “its usually the muslims who do the shooting”
They aren’t even supposed to stay in the store. We sell their product for them, all they do is bring it in.
I’m pretty tired of the rude and condescending behaviour towards me, especially since I have been a supervisor for a year now and worked there for a few years. When they come to pick up their cheques, a lot of them will bark at me and interrupt me helping customers to demand their money, or not say anything but just rub their fingers together and stare at me. I’ve also gotten comments like “oh I looove being handed money from a woman” when I give it to them.
Now when vendors approach me impolitely, I’ve gotten in the habit of saying “what’s the magic word?” and smiling while I hold their cheque. I make eye contact and patiently wait for them to say “please” before I give it to them. It puts them on the spot for being rude, but its also extra and unnecessary. Although there’s nothing else I can do about their inappropriate behaviour. AITA? ###### | NTA, sometimes it’s the little victories that gets us through the day. ###### |
I (m17) have a fungal infection around inner thigh and genital area. I apply my anti-fungal cream before I fall asleep. Because of lockdown my step-sister's University closed and she (19) moved back in the house. Her Mac's charger broke, and recently she has been using my charger. After having dinner she left her laptop in my room to charge and we watched an episode of Witcher in Netflix together and then I went to bed.
As usual I started to apply my anti fungal cream around my genital. I usually get erection while rubbing the cream. Suddenly my step-sister walks in(without knocking) and I froze like a deer caught in headlights, with an erection and pants down. My step-sister screamed and my parents came and she told that I made her feel uncomfortable. In my defense I said I was applying anti fungal cream and she should have knocked. Now, my parents want me to apologize to my step-sister and promise that it won't happen again. I have refused to apologize because it was her fault for not respecting my privacy.
So, AITA for not apologizing to my step-sister when she caught me with an erection and pants down.
PS: sorry in advance if there are any typos, typing from mobile ###### | NTA, someone doesn’t knock. It’s all them. ###### |
So, I own 3 houses that I had bought with an inheritance that my grandad left me and I rent these houses out. This enables me to have a steady income even without having a job so I have quite a bit of money to save and put away.
I rented one of the 3 properties out to my sister and her boyfriend for not a large sum at all.
The first few months they paid every time on the dot and I had no issues. However in the past 3 months I had received no payments and false promises of money that I was never going to receive.
So I removed them from the house and moved in a tenant who was willing to pay. My mother is furious that I kicked them both out and wants me to kick out the tenant who I moved in and move them back in AITA? ###### | NTA, so they were squatters in your house and you have to keep them there?
Owning an "investment property" is not about charity.. Its about gaining back what you paid for and then setting up for your own retirement.
Question though - how come you received an inheritance from your grandad so that you could purchase property and your sister did not? Your mum may also feel that you should be supporting your sister given you have had this money come through. ###### |
I know, this title is ridiculous. How on earth could I be an asshole when seeking medical attention? I’m not sure but my coworker seems to think I’m the world’s biggest asshole.
So around 11pm yesterday I started having trouble breathing, I chalked it up to asthma. Well I then got sick to my stomach. At 7am I called the Covid screening and they sent me over to healthlinks and they sent me to the ER. By this point I could barely speak.
I contacted my bosses and hr to let them know what’s up as I had a 10:00 shift. I had messaged everyone around 8:30am what was up.
It took three hours before I could breath on my own. I see I have a Snapchat from a coworker I used to consider a friend. I opened it and it was a wall of text about how selfish I am for not showing up and how all I do is sit at the desk (that’s my job)
What’s important to know is that I was off work from February until June 1st because of health issues and I’ve only been back working for a week.
I tried to explain the situation not that it was any of her business and she went off more, I won’t repeat what was said because character limit. But I sent screenshots to HR because they were nasty texts.
I could see why she’d be upset if I was home with the sniffles, but I couldn’t breath, I was throwing up, those are corona symptoms and I would have been sent home anyway even if I did show up. ###### | NTA, Shes not upset because you had trouble breathing shes upset because she thinks you're lying. Assuming you haven't lied before since you didn't mention that in your post, shes an asshole. ###### |
Like I said in the title she totaled my car during Christmas break she gave me some money for the car but I was able to buy a decent car with my insurance money, (5,000 for the new car). The new car that I bought, I drove that up until last week when the transmission failed and the cost to fix it would be more than the car was worth, so I said screw it and I leased a new 2020 Honda Civic so I would have a reliable car and she's upset because I won't let her drive it. And with this coronavirus going on it's fairly difficult because the bus only runs at certain times, we dont live by any family and most of our friends live in different towns so they cant pick her up. I offered to pay for her to get an Uber or asked her to try to get a ride from a coworker. I drive her into work at 7am on my way to work, but she gets out at 4pm , I usually and dont get out of work until 6 or 7. Am I the asshole in this situation? ###### | Nta, she’s proved herself to be unreliable behind the wheel. Tell her to save up and get her own car. Someone always has to take public transport sometime when a household only has one car. ###### |
Here's a little backstory. My boyfriend dated his now best friend 3 or 4 years ago. They shared some traumatic experiences together and he says he feels like they recovered together. He also says that they're happy as just friends and haven't fooled around since they were together.
So the best friend's brother was having a destination wedding in Mexico this week, but its been pushed back to July due to the (bad thing). The best friend's parents are freakin loaded and offered to pay for her and a guest to attend the wedding. When the invitations were sent out at the beginning of the year, she asked my boyfriend to go with her. He obviously said yes. They were both single at the time. They paid for his flight and he'd share her hotel room.
When the wedding was pushed back, the parents reached out to him to tell them they'll figure out new flight times once a new date was confirmed. I think it might be inappropriate for him to go now. We've been dating for a few months and she just started seeing a new guy. I brought it up to my boyfriend and he said that she usually waits a long time before someone she is dating to meet her family and he still wants to go. He's excited for the beaches and the open bar. He acts like I'm just jealous and its totally fine for him to be his best friend's date. I want to trust my boyfriend, but this just feels like a lot of red flags.
AITA for asking him not to go? ###### | NTA, she’s his ex and it’d be disrespectful to your relationship ###### |
My girlfriend and I have been living together for a while now. She loves baking bread, I'd say it's safe to say that it's one of her hobbies/passions. As a result we always have delicious bread in our home. I think it's amazing and I'm really lucky.
For the sake of this post I feel like I have to include that I never bake bread. We both cook but I never bake. I never ask her to either she just does it because she enjoys it. She usually bakes bread once or twice a week.
We live in a country where people have been stock piling idiots so supermarkets have been out of toilet paper pasta and apparently also yeast. About a week ago my girlfriend told me that she's out of yeast. She seemed to be bummed because she started being more experimental with her bread baking since we went into lockdown. So I made it my mission to get her yeast. I called every supermarket and finally found a bakery that was happy to sell me some. I picked it up yesterday and wrapped it up as a little present. I wanted to give it to my girlfriend tonight but when I told one of my mates about it today he said that it would be an insulting present. He said it's sexist and my girlfriend might think I want to imply that I expect her to make me bread. He also said it's a bit like gifting her a gym membership when she didn't ask for one.
I'm really unsure now because I DO NOT expect her to bake for me. I genuinely thought she'd like it but I absolutely do not want to offend her.
WIBTA if I give her the yeast wrapped up as a present? ###### | Nta, she's said she's out of yeast and not happy about it. You've listened, thought and hunted down some yeast for her. I think she'll be fairly pleased. ###### |
I have a daughter who will be 27 in two months, and lately she has been constantly lamenting the fact that she is so "old" and has not found "the one." I know that this is likely a result of so many of her friends having gotten married within the last two or so years, including her younger sister who married her longtime boyfriend last fall. I am sure it also does not help that she has served in the wedding party in many of their weddings.
My daughter has had her share of relationships with really nice guys, in my view, so it's not like she hasn't had her chances. It's just she's never had a relationship last more than about nine months. She might have had one longer than that but certainly never over a year.
Recently when I was talking to her she asked me if there was something wrong with her. I've gotten similar questions in the past, but this time I decided to try a different approach. I told her I had noticed how she treated some of her boyfriends and couldn't blame them for deciding to call it quits. She is really great with her friends and family and not self-centered, but the opposite is true with her boyfriends. She is very demanding and extremely high maintenance, and I think she can be petty. She demands so much of their time and attention that there is nothing left for them, which is why most guys try to avoid girls like her. No matter how pretty or smart she may be it just isn't worth all the headaches.
I feel like this was all something she needs to hear. Most of the guys she is interested in aren't going to put up with this type of behavior (and especially not guys in their late 20s and 30s), so if she wants those guys then she needs to rethink some things and learn not to be so demanding and bossy.
Both my wife and my daughter think I am TA for saying this, but I don't think telling the truth and giving an honest opinion makes someone TA. AITA? ###### | NTA, she's not going to like it but she needs to hear it from somebody. She probably has from her exes, but she also probably brushed it off. She can't brush off your criticism though and that might be why it's stinging a little more. It's in her best interest to address this behavior even if it sucks to accept. ###### |
Background I grew up poor I often had to wear dirty clothes because we couldn't afford to wash them, had to walk everywhere because we couldn't afford to take the bus or get a car, had 1 package of Raman for dinner, luckily our financial situation has improved and I've fattened up considerably I have been friends with "Susan" a few months now and she never knew me or my family before our circumstances improved now on to the issue
So me and Susan were talking about a mutual friend who recently lost his job and can barley afford rent and food and the conversation went like this
Me: yeah it sucks that Sam is having hard times and has to downgrade his lifestyle been there done that
Her very sarcastically: sure mark you and your Xbox 1 and weight have definitely been there before
Me voice raised: the duck you mean by that you don't know my past or the things I've been through
Susan just kind of shrank back and said something along the lines of you just don't look like the type and she was just trying to "check my privalege"I then told her it was shitty to assume things about people's past when you don't know i haven't seen her since and am now wondering if I over reacted
Edit sorry for format and grammar typed this in a hurry please keep the judgement on this post and nothing else ###### | NTA, she's just shown you who she is - superficial, narrow-minded and judgemental - avoid her and don't apologise. ###### |
This is all from last year, so lessons were still happening.
I own a ranch, and aside from other animals I have several horses. During the summer I offered riding lessons for kids, and a lot of people took them because they were cheaper than other places. When my neighbor (now 15f) was eight, she would often come over and watch the horses through the fences on the paddock. With the blessing of her parents, I gave her free riding lessons in exchange for helping take care of the horses.
She's great with the horses, and last summer I even paid her to help out with the kids riding lessons. She helps out most weekends and sometimes she comes by after school. Sometimes I even let her take my horses trail riding with her friends, as long as she's being responsible.
Last summer, the mother of a kid I was teaching asked her if she takes riding lessons with me. She said yes. The mother apparently mentioned that my prices were too high, and asked her how much she had paid for lessons. She told the mother that she didn't pay, she just helped because she lived so close.
The mother came over to me and asked if I could give her kid free lessons because I had given them to my neighbor. I told her that I wouldn't, because my neighbor was helping me in return. She then said that I was discriminating against her daughter because they didn't live close to me and couldn't help out. She also told me that I'm gross for "exploiting a child for free labor".
The way I see it, it's a win-win. My neighbor gets to hang out with the horses (which she loves) and gets a guaranteed summer job, and I get some help with my horses. Still, the mother was adamant that I'm definitely an asshole here. I do feel like kind of a jerk, because her kid lives too far away to come very often.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA, she's being entitled because she is not being catered to. It doesn't matter if you were paying your neighbor's kid to learn to ride, she doesn't get to demand diddly or squat. If she has a problem with how much you charge she can go elsewhere. ###### |
For the first time in ages (because of corona) me and my girlfriend went to a VERY nice fancy restaurant. This is important because normally I woudn’t make a fuss but since the food was so nice and very expensive i made an exception.
We go to the restaurant (she is driving). When get there they are about to close, they say we can’t dine, but we can take food away. We order similarly 1 starter, 1 main each. We split the bill 50/50.
We take the food to the car and while she is leaving the car park i check they got our order right. Her starter and main are there. But only my starter is their and my main is missing. I tell her they got the order wrong, while checking to see if they charged for us for the missing main: they did.
I ask her to go back and get my main. Keep in mind we are 1 min drive away from restaurant. Yet she said she can’t be bothered and i should deal with it. We argued for about a minute and then i said ‘ ok but then i get half your main’. She said no and i gave up.
Then when we got home she went for a shower. So i eat my starter and half her main. When she found out she got annoyed and told me to leave her house. I said ok fine, it is late anyway.
Next morning she text ‘how am i going to make it up to her’.
So aita and should i have to make it up to her? ###### | NTA, she was driving and made the decision that your food wasn't worth going back for. She shouldn't expect you to be able to be full on just an appetizer dish. I do hope you called the restaurant back about the order, though. ###### |
Katie and I were really close friends in high school. We are now in our mid 30’s and I got married a year ago, she is getting married this fall.
A bit of backstory: i moved three hours away from our tiny hometown and she stayed there. I would always make time to hang out with her, at her or her parents’ house, when i was home, which was frequent in my 20’s. As i got older and more settled with a career and relationship, i started going home less often. The last time I was home it was only for a few hours and I told Katie if she wanted to see me, she would have to come to my parents house. She said she would, then an hour later made an excuse and never showed.
When I was planning my wedding, of course I wanted to invite her. She RSVP’ed yes for her, her longtime boyfriend, and her daughter. They never showed up. I could already feel the friendship had run its course before the wedding, and this just kinda proved it. We have not spoken since. I’m not mad, as I realize friendships sometimes just fizzle out, i just wish she would have at least told me she wasn’t coming or apologized after the fact or *something*.
Yesterday, i got an invite to join her wedding group on Facebook and a request to send her my address so she can send an invitation. WIBTA if I just ignored the invite to join the group to get an invitation because i don’t want to go?
Keep in mind this is not the actual invite, this is just address gathering to send invites. ###### | NTA, she wants your wedding gift, ie money ###### |
My gf and even her friends would make a big deal when we started dating that i never posted pictures of her as i don’t use social media often, and she would ask constantly why i never wanted to post any. I post pictures of her frequently now, post her on Snapchat stories every week, and she is in my profile picture for most social media’s.
Now it’s been almost a year and she still has no pictures of me on any platform online and there’s little trace of me existing in her life online (even though we live together). I even asked her about it since she made such a big fuss that i post about her.
I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong for being upset that after this long there’s still no pictures of us together on her social media, especially since guys message and try to flirt with her all the time, even people who used to be my friends in highschool. ###### | NTA, she wanted you to show the relationship on SM but she makes no attempt to ? That sounds very shitty to me.
Have you asked her why she doesn’t post anything? ###### |
Background I grew up poor I often had to wear dirty clothes because we couldn't afford to wash them, had to walk everywhere because we couldn't afford to take the bus or get a car, had 1 package of Raman for dinner, luckily our financial situation has improved and I've fattened up considerably I have been friends with "Susan" a few months now and she never knew me or my family before our circumstances improved now on to the issue
So me and Susan were talking about a mutual friend who recently lost his job and can barley afford rent and food and the conversation went like this
Me: yeah it sucks that Sam is having hard times and has to downgrade his lifestyle been there done that
Her very sarcastically: sure mark you and your Xbox 1 and weight have definitely been there before
Me voice raised: the duck you mean by that you don't know my past or the things I've been through
Susan just kind of shrank back and said something along the lines of you just don't look like the type and she was just trying to "check my privalege"I then told her it was shitty to assume things about people's past when you don't know i haven't seen her since and am now wondering if I over reacted
Edit sorry for format and grammar typed this in a hurry please keep the judgement on this post and nothing else ###### | NTA, she tried to check your priviledge but ended up showing how superficial and judgemental het thinkkng is, thus checking her OWN priviledge instead ###### |
Growing up, I was the sort of father figure figure for my younger sister and brother, so I am overprotective by nature, I'll admit that. However, I hate my sister's fiance for reasons unrelating to the fact that he's saying my sister.
Over the seven month span that they've been together, the fiance has called me a 'f#ggot', and used multiple slurs against me relating to my sexuality. He has called out younger brother a 'r#tard' because of his autism, and mocked him when he thought nobody was looking. I ignored the slurs against me but I did get very angry about the R-word comment and I did attack him over that. I take responsibility for attacking him over it, but I do not regret it.
The other thing that worries me is that he has multiple domestic abuse charges against him. I know people deserve second chances, but he's got a very long rap sheet going for him.
Yesterday, my sister called me and said that they we r going to start planning a wedding. And I said that I was happy for her, but also asked why she was Allah with marrying a guy that used slurs and insulted her brothers, especially our younger brother, who is very sensitive when it comes to certain things.
She said that I was being dramatic and that he'd been joking, but I wasn't having it and told her that I wasn't going to the wedding unless he swore not to say those things, and that our brother (who relies on me a lot) wasn't going if he was just going to be demeaned.
My sister said that I hadn't made any attempts to get to know him, which isn't true, and that it was only a joke, but I said that was a bad joke to make and also that I wasn't going to entertain him because he was a 'd#ck'.
Rightfully or not, she got upset and hung up on me.
Was I wrong for calling the fiance that? Was she wrong? Was everybody wrong? ###### | NTA, she sounds very blindsided by him and i'm sorry you and your little brother have to deal with this. the so-called jokes are supposed to be funny to everyone involved. INFO: do you get the feeling he may be somehow mistreating your sister? the domestic violence record is rightfully unsettling. ###### |
I had this friend (I’ll call her Ellie) and for the last months or so if our friendship she was very open to me about her concerns about her mental health. I am no expert and I told her that, but I always gave her places and recourses that would help her more than I could (I obviously would help in any way I could)
One night I get a message from her, and she is freaking out, full blown panic. She messages me vague things such as ‘I don’t know why I’ve done this’ and ‘this is your fault’ and then she says ‘I’ve slit my wrists’. I’m in complete shock, I’m frantically messaging her saying apply pressure. She goes quiet for a couple minutes. I’m panicking. I’m telling my dad I don’t know what to do.
I get a photo sent to me from her of her wrists. They don’t look cut, it looks like she used a pencil to draw on her arm. I didn’t want to be insensitive and I assumed I seen the photo wrong so I just replied; ‘get help and apply pressure’. She replies ‘ahah you’re so fucking stupid, it’s pencil marks, I wouldn’t cut myself’.
The next day we were all going out with friends and I told her how it made me feel, helpless and panicked. She laughed in my face and said I don’t care.
I’ve not messaged her in a while, and our mutual friends think I over reacted. Did I? ###### | NTA, she sounds like a really abusive and manipulative person. Being in that situation it's a very traumatic experience and it's not something someone should joke about. ###### |
I'm a 13 yo female, my mom was a cheater and a liar during her marriage with my dad. She ended up just up and leaving when I was 9 and nobody knew where she went. Those months were the best months of my life, I loved my dad. She came back a little bit before Christmas after she missed my birthday. The fucked up thing is that she left again on Christmas Day! I've hated her since and always wanted to live with my dad. She would always yell at me for no reason and get me in trouble. I do have a younger sister, but she never gets in trouble for anything.
Fast forward a few miserable years, I'm in 6th grade so around 11 or 12. I attempted to end my life due to my mom's bullshit. She always made me feel like I was nothing. I thought it would all be over, but my attempt failed luckily. I was put into counseling and told my counselor everything. My dad has always known that I wanted to live with him (my parents have 50/50 custody). I get to decide who I want to live with full time in my freshman year of highschool ( I'm going to be in 8th grade)and I told my mom I was gonna choose my dad. She told me that that wasn't going to happen and that it would stay 50/50.
I told her my reasons for wanting to leave and she said I was lying. That none of that happened. I was livid with anger and told my dad what she said. He confirmed everything I said and she wouldn't believe it. I told her my mind was made up and ever since she's been trying to buy my love, but she still yells at me and does everything she's been doing. I'm still going to live with my dad, but now I feel kinda bad for her.
AITA? ###### | NTA, she sounds like a narcissist. Get as far away from her as she can. She chose her path and thinks that you owe her anything, but you don't.
I'd let her try to buy your love though. Squeeze her for whatever she's worth, because once she sees that you're choosing your dad she'll probably leave again. That's how narcissists are. ###### |
I've posted here before about my oldest brother. English is my third language and I'm on my phone, so I apologize in advance.
(Background, kind of)
My mom (43) and dad (43) broke up when I (16f) was 9. Without going into too much detail, my dad was very verbally abusive towards my mom and physically and verbally abusive towards my oldest brother. I recently learned that I have 2 new half brothers (oldest 2, youngest 8 months) and I feel the need to make sure that they live the happiest life possible and that they never witness what I had to witness.
Now, my dad married my stepmom not long after they met (only around 2 years) and even though I have no problem with my dad moving on, seeing as I don't care what he does anymore, I really dislike my stepmom as she came in to the picture the year after my mom and dad broke up and she thinks that she has a right to an opinion about the (very little) amount that she saw and heard even though I genuinely believe that she has no right to any opinion when it comes to that situation. I told her this and it turned into her treating me like I'm 2 and her saying "he's my husband, I have the right to an opinion." and me telling her that she needs to apologize if she wants contact again,she refuses to do so.
Tl;Dr My stepmom thinks she has the right to an opinion about my dad being abusive in the past, I tell her no, she treats me like a child and I want apology that she refuses to give.
Edit: To clarify, we actually had a great relationship and we spoke almost every day. ###### | NTA, she should keep her opinion to herself if she doesn't know everything ###### |
I am an avid crocheter, and I normally make baby blankets or toys for people in my life when they have kids. I enjoy it, and it helps me relax after work. Not long ago, I decided to make a complicated afghan for an charity silent auction because I really like what they do and with their current situation they have had to cancel most of their fundraising events.
My problem comes here: My aunt has decided that I should give her this blanket for a baby shower that's she's throwing for a coworker, and told this coworker that it was a done deal already. Apparently she's very excited about using this blanket (which I made for a charity auction remember) as a decoration in her nursery.
This blanket took me three months to make, two thousand yards of various yarns, and a lot of frustration. It's promised to the silent auction and I will not break that promise. My aunt has instead told me to "just make another" since she's already promised it to her coworker. For free, because she's family I might add.
I do not want to make this blanket again especially for free so that someone I've never met can have it. But now I'm being bombarded with messages saying how disappointed this coworker is going to be and the baby deserves an heirloom and how I'm going to make my aunt look bad, etc. etc. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate the "but we're family" argument, but it's different when its directed at you.
So, AITA for making my aunt look bad? ###### | NTA, she should have asked you before promising away an object she didn't even own. Family doesn't excuse actions. You can also tell her "But the coworker isn't family" because that doesn't even apply to them. Either way, NTA, your Aunt is trying to take advantage of your skills to make herself look better. ###### |
My sister (17) has been sneaking out to meet a boy for the past few days. She snuck out to go to a park near our house so i was okay with it. I only had to open the door for her when she went out and when she came back but lately she has been staying far too late even after telling me she won’t.
Yesterday, she came in my room and told me she will go to a town near us (about a 20 minute ride) with one of her friends motorcycles, i was not okay with this and told her no but she didn’t listen. I let her out and was really worried about her because of obvious reasons, i texted her multiple times to tell me when she’s coming, she said she’ll be home around 2am. The time comes around and she’s nowhere to be found, i text her again and she says she’ll come back at 4am. I got pissed at her and around 4 i just opened the door and went to take a bath, she came home at 5.
When she came back i told her that i’m mad at her and that i won’t help her sneak out again. She apologized through text.. AITA?
also, i’m ok with her going to the park because basically nothing can happen to her in our really small town and i’m not worried about the boy she’s going with because i know him quite well ###### | NTA, she should be open about her time of return, plus it's better for her to stay in these times. ###### |
little backstory here: I (28F) have a little sister (14F) who we'll call Lily, who is extremely afraid of dogs. Her dog phobia happens only with big dogs, after a Rottweiler knocked her to the ground when she was 10. Also, my sister is living with me as my parents have gone abroad, and we both are extremely close. We live in a big house which can easily accommodate 3 people.
This happened a week ago.
My aunt was going through a messy divorce, so she moved in with me, and asked me if she could bring her dog with her. Now, this dog is extremely large, and tends to get overexcited with children, and taking in account Lily's fear of dogs, I refused.
At first my aunt took it well, and gave the dog to my cousin (her daughter), who lives 3 hours away and says she'll look after it. So a week ago, my aunt asks me if she can bring the dog for visits outside our house. I agree, as long it's in the backyard, and the dog is on a leash. I reminded her not to let him inside the house. Lily agreed, and said that she has no problem as long as the dog does not come close to her.
My aunt brought the dog over, and Lily just stayed inside. I played with the dog a bit, and then I went to the kitchen to cook dinner. Suddenly I hear Lily screaming at the top of her lungs, and I go to the living room. She's climbed on top of the sofa, and the dog is at the bottom of it, barking at her. My aunt is telling Lily to come down and it's just a silly fear, the dog won't hurt you, etc. I was furious. I immediately took the dog outside, and screamed at my aunt for what she had just done. I kicked her out, and now she's staying with her daughter.
My mom called me yesterday and told me that I had no authority to do that. I told her I did, and that any sane person would do the same thing. My cousins all called me and told me that I did a heartless thing, that my aunt's daughter doesn't have space for my aunt, and that she needs a home.
I don't feel like I'm the asshole.
So, Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA, she scared the shit out of your sister on purpose, and just as importantly she willfully lied to you and did not keep her word. Absolutely not, she agreed to conditions with no intention of keeping to them, this person cannot be trusted.
EDIT: In response to the posted update, this story is starting to sound incredible, and if it’s true, I would be blocking this person’s contact in all channels, that’s so wildly inappropriate as to strain credulity. You absolutely do not owe this selfish person an apology and the stated reaction from your parents is shocking. I’m curious though - your parents actually left your sister in your care, went abroad and then just decided to not return?! That seems like some... not parenting, at all, as in hard core child neglect, possibly criminal if you were not stepping up. Or did they plan on her joining them? ###### |
I'm 13, my sister is 23. We have a great relationship and I'm even kool with her boyfriend.
Last week I was supposed to spend at her place, as we hadn't seen each other during the lockdown. Her bf would be there 3 times (they don't live together).
It was all good till their "night activities" woke me up in the middle of the night. Her flat is large and out bedrooms are at the opposite ends of the hall. So that meant they were loud.
I hoped it'd end soon, but they were in for a ride. I tried headphones with music, I didn't hear them, but couldn't sleep with loud music blasting. I didn't say anything as it was their first night and thought they'd tire each other out.
Well, same thing next night. I was knackered the morning after, plus I learned the boyfriend would probably come around more than 3 times.
At the point I started to ponder getting back to my parents, as I have insomnia and it could mess my entire sleep schedule.
I told my sister I forgot helping my friend with chemistry and my mum picked me up.
She couldn't wrap her head around and constantly asked me. She probably knew I was lying as we know each other well. She asked me if she had done something wrong, I told her no and we'd do the same thing next month (her boyfriend would be abroad), but she wasn't having it.
Eventually I told her, I couldn't sleep as I heard them shagging and she was shocked.
She even brough it up at our family dinner, which was super embarrassing, because I hadn't told my parents. And it looked like she was mad at me. My paretns didn't want dive in, but told her it'd be good if It could be arranged that I wouldn't sleep there when her bf did.
She got upset, calling me nosy and eventually left earlier. She's not replied to my messages or calls.
AITA for telling her the reason? ###### | NTA, she pushed for the truth and so you told her.
She's probably really embarrassed, give her a few days and she'll respond eventually. ###### |
My sister-in-law is high risk immunosuppressed, shes been told to limit social contact for 12 weeks (8wks left) but shes been nipping to the shop etc.
Today shes invited herself and her 6 year old daughter over to our garden for a social distance cuppa. This would be fine if it wasn't for the 6 year old being incredibly naughty.
I have an 8mo and a 3yo, I dont want them playing with my niece, if not for their own safety for the safety of my sister in law. But idk how to social distance kids. Especially ones that aren't mine and wont listen. My wife disagrees and says I'm being irrational, theres no way to stop my sister in law coming over and "shes been stuck inside and wants fresh air".
I dont get it. Am I overreacting? AmItheAsshole? ###### | NTA, she of all people should be staying home, and the fact that she hasn’t been means more risk for you and your family which means more risk for everyone you come in contact with and so on, its really not a hard concept to grasp but everyone thinks they’re above it for some reason ###### |
So, a little bit of background.
My sister proposed to my mom the idea that her friends come up to our summer house for a week. My mom was super reluctant to say yes. But, on top of that, my grandma is here. My grandma said as long as they socially distance and we take their temperatures that it is ok to have them up here.
Well, my sister knew (and I just found out) that one of the friends families are hosting a pool party with about 20-30 ish people. My sister didn’t tell my mom because she knew if she did it would be cancelled. Obviously. I found out through a friend of mine and promptly told my mom in genuine fear of our health and especially my grandmothers. I had no motive other than that because I had some mutual friends I was happy to hang out with. My sister is now telling her friends what I did and now I feel guilty. I may be the Asshole because I ruined my sisters big plans. But I still feel like I did the right thing. AITA? ###### | NTA, she needs to understand shes putting you guys at a huge risk. Parties are one of the main reason this virus is spreading ###### |
Alright, context before you guys hate me: my parents are quite wealthy but I (F24) left home when I was 17 because they didn't agree with my career/life choices and I worked a lot to support myself for a few years until they recently accepted my choices and started helping me as I went back to school to pursue my dream degree and only work part time. I still pay for most of my expenses because I have a nice job where I've been for three years but my parents now do give me a small sum of money to cover school expenses. I am aware that I am very privileged but the money my parents give me is only for school things only and everything else I pay with the money I earn myself.
Now, tonight we were at a house party and it was getting late (about 3am) and I decided I'd take a cab home because I was wearing a rather short dress and didn't feel safe walking home although it was only a 20 minute walk to my place. My friend said that I was a spoiled rich b\*tch because I could afford to take a cab home while she had to walk longer to her place.
It did piss me off because she doesn't work although I did already offer her to get a position at my job after she dropped out of university and now pretty much lives of social welfare.
So I told her that if she had a job, she could afford to take a cab home and she got really pissed. A few of our friends also thought I was really rude while some others said I was right but probably shouldn't have said that in front of everyone.
I felt that I was justified as she did try to embarrass me in front of everyone and is constantly criticizing how much money I spend on things every time we got out and complaining about how she can't do the same while she's not even trying to better her life. So, was I the asshole? ###### | NTA, she made her choices, her turn to live with what that means to her. ###### |
I live in an apartment complex right next to a creek trail. I walk my dog on it almost every day. It’s really nice, except for the fact that my upstairs neighbor never picks up after her dog. I’ve seen her out the window neglecting to pick it up when her dog poops. It infuriated me because it makes the trail smelly and unpleasant. I know her dog’s size and shape of poop and I have stepped in it multiple times. Now, I might have cut her some slack if she was a nice person, but she is not. She glares at me when I walk by, and is overall very short-tempered. When I asked her about the shit once, she told me to fuck off. Not to mention the fact that she makes an ungodly amount of noise at 12am which often keeps me up. Basically, I had had enough. The next day, before her usual walk time, I made a bunch of little flags using sticks and paper, and put her dog’s name on them. Then, I walked down the trail and put a flag on each of the deposits. I watched from my window as she passed each shit, looking confused and angry. Later, I got a knock on my door, and opened it to find Pam, irate and saying that I had been immature and petty, which I admit I may have been. However, it was very satisfying to see her get what was coming to her. I know it wasn’t very nice, but do the ends justify the means? ###### | NTA, she made her bed, now she can lay in it. If you wanted to take it a step further I would recommend reporting her to your management company. Id be willing to wager they have rules about picking up after your pets in place to upkeep the cleanliness of the complex. ###### |
So my wife calls me into the room and proceeds to say "Hey Google, how do I get my husband to stop being annoying?" and starts laughing. I suppose in her defense this was said somewhat jokingly, so I just rolled my eyes and walked away. In the next room, I ask our other Google home the same thing about my wife. I was also half kidding, and knew I was going to get the same answer of "Sorry, I can't help with that." Then my wife walks into the room and starts talking about how that's not nice and starts demanding an apology from me. Needless to say, she didn't like the apology I gave, and went on to tell me she hopes a wild animal attacks me while I'm out for a walk. Better judgment would suggest that I shouldn't have said any of that but AITA for not giving a sincere apology here? It seems to me like she thinks she can demand an apology whenever she wants, and I just have to bow down to her and say "Yes, dear." ###### | NTA, she literally said the same thing to you. ###### |
Been with my girlfriend for 2 years. I’m about ready to jump out of this relationship but for the sake of my sanity I want to ask on here so I know if I’m truly the arsehole or not.
My girlfriend has a 14 year old son. I try hard to foster a good relationship with him especially because my old man was nowhere to be seen when I was growing up. He is usually disrespectful to me and plays up the fact that I’m with his mum but am not his father.
By all rights everyone in her family (mum / dad etc) has acknowledged her son needs a councillor and help because his behaviour is THAT obvious (more so in front of other people he’s rude to me) but she has always maintained I need to ‘deal’ with her sons attitude to me because ‘he just wants to feel like he’s got control’. I tried hard to overlook the disrespect and maintain good ties but it’s getting harder and harder as her son gets older.
Girlfriend and I went out into my garden for a fag. Girlfriends son decided to barge past and start breaking the shed in my garden. Why, I have no fucking idea. He says he was bored. I told him to stop being a twit. He looked at me, smirked, said you’re not my dad and you can’t tell me what to do.
I looked over at my girlfriend since he normally saves that line for when she’s not around and she simply ignored him.
I snapped at her to sort her son out since I’m not his dad and went inside. I’ve just had enough. She came in raging and screaming that I need an attitude adjustment and that Im a total cunt. ###### | NTA, she is enabling her son’s poor behavior by yelling at you instead of him. No sense in being in an unhappy relationship. ###### |
Shes 38f(im 29F if it matters), divorced 2 times, 1 kid from each, high school diploma, and a secretary. which i dont find anything wrong with shes getting by fine enough. But she keeps complaining about being single and how no "real man" that meets her standards will step up for her and her kids.
Her standards are mostly not too bad, around her age, respectful not sexist or racist, likes kids but there are a few that seem kinda unreasonable given her life... : never married and no kids, at least a bachelors, high earner so he can support the entire family while she quits to get a degree.
Basically everything she isnt, and something very rare among men in their late 30s. and the reason she wants himchildess may be the worst, she doesnt want to raise another womans kids but expects him to raise 2 other guys kids.
I told her that her wants were a bit hypocritical and she blew up, called me sexist, then went on to call mom about it so Ive been getting angry texts from her now too... ###### | NTA, she is be super hypocritical. I’m a single father and I’ve been ghosted after I mention I have a kid. You nailed it on the head with your points. In my experience it isn’t the norm for men almost in their 40’s to be single and not have a kid. Also a huge hypocrite for not wanting to raise someone else’s kids but wanting someone to raise hers. She’s also limiting herself at a chance for a romantic relationship imo. ###### |
I have no issue with crazy hair colors and even approved my daughters hair to be colored once for her birthday at three years old. However, that color was chosen specifically so it would wash out within a few days. My ex and his girlfriend keep coloring my five year old’s hair with Overtone and every time she comes back home to me she has a new hair color (our schedule is week on/week off). They haven’t been telling me they’re going to color her hair and I’ve asked many times if they could do a less permanent option because her hair is very delicate. Yesterday she came back to me with the most splotchy hair color imaginable and I finally looked her father in the eyes and demanded that he stop doing this. He doesn’t see the issue because “she asked his girlfriend to do it so they did”. AITA for wanting them to wait until she’s older to start making these decisions and use wash out colors for now instead? ###### | NTA, she is a child which means she doesn't get everything she wants. Your Ex has to be a parent and tell her no, especially now that you have made your opinion known. But you have to realize that by allowing it once when she was 3 and you make it sound like it hasn't stopped since then. That you set a precedent for 2 years that it's OK to color her hair. So you are definitely going into an uphill battle. ###### |
I (25F) am currently stuck in my apartment with my 2 other roommates (Dave, 27M; Sarah 24F). We all met through mutual friends and have a good roommate relationship, we aren't close friends but in normal times we do things together occasionally.
Recently we've been sharing food costs and everyday a different roommate does the cooking and we all eat. We each have certain foods we don't like and are allowed to take a pass on that food being cooked. For one of my roommates (24F) she expects meat at every meal and will actively avoid vegetarian or vegan foods. It's not a health thing it's a preference thing and she has told us as much.
Well my one roommate (Dave), went grocery shopping the other day and came back with some Chorizo that I had requested for making Shaksuka. It turned out really good and Sarah expressed interest in having the meal again. She had never had Chirozo before and so she dug the wrapper out of the garbage to see what spices were in it. It's then that we found out Dave had accidentally bought 'soyrizo' rather than the meaty kind. Sarah was livid and starting saying I was trying to trick her into being vegan. (Note: none of us are vegan or vegetarian nor have ever been). Dave and I told her it was an accident but she wouldn't hear it. She's been ignoring us since last night and has since stated she will be cooking her own food and will be taking her pans into her room so that we won't 'contaminate them with tofu'.
I understand her frustration but the whole thing was an accident that I unfortunately can't undo. I think this while thing is just a misunderstanding but it's getting hostile in the apartment and I'm starting to feel like the asshole. AITA? ###### | NTA, she has no medical reason to need meat at every meal. It sounds to me like she has a vendetta against vegetarians and is using their language (i.e. contamination) to prove some kind of point to herself. It's really strange that she is doing that with people who are not vegetarian. This is odd behavior and I'd be surprised if you don't experience similar issues from her in the future regarding other things.
Edited to fix spelling ###### |
This is my first time ever asking my mom (or anyone) to babysit. on Friday I asked my mom to watch my 4month old daughter for 2 hours on Saturday so me and hubby could get yard work done, she agreed then an hour later called to inform me she was going for a day trip Saturday with her friend and if the trip didn’t go through she could baby sit for me. Alright I was a little annoyed but left it at that. Saturday evening I talked to her and found out she didn’t actually go but also decided to not babysit. She told me she would come over in the morning, this morning she called to tell me that she was out at her friends until 3am and that she was too tired to babysit so she would come over next Weekend. I told her it’s fine and that Ill just look for someone else to watch her next time. She called me crying ”how could I do that to her” I’m actually pissEd. AITA for not wanting to ask her to babysit again? ###### | NTA, she had a chance to redeem herself, she ruined it. It's her fault she lost your trust. You're doing the right thing, your mom sounds irresponsible. ###### |
Today I got a brand new lego set for the first time in 5 years for my birthday. My step dad gifted it to me. The set is the lego ideas steam boat Willie. After I finished building it I kept it on my desk and I love and play with it as I love Disney.
I have a 13 year old half sister who in the morning took that set and ripped apart the white pieces from the boat and added it to some of her buildings. When I came into my room I was distraught as I loved that set. I told my mom my sister took my pieces from the set. My mom told me that my sister did not do anything and did not took those pieces.
I then went into my sisters room and I counted up the pieces I was missing. I ended up finding most of the pieces but the two exclusive mini figures I had to destroy most of my sisters set when I founded. I reconstructed the boat but I was crying. My step dad came in and found what was wrong I told her my sister stole pieces from my set he told me he is going to get the same set and he is going to get me another small set to make up for it. I was excited.
Here is where I might have been the asshole. My sister went into her room to see the buildings that she made complete collapsed. She was crying. My mother ran up there and instantly called me to her room and demanded answers. My step dad came in and told her what happened but my mom want's to ground me for messing with my sisters room and ruining her buildings. My sister is crying and thinking I am the huge bad guy. She says I am a bad person for invading her privacy and ruining her hard work.
English is my fist language but my hand writing is really bad. ###### | NTA, she did it to you, you did it back. That's a little thing called karma. ###### |
A few days ago I (20m) was out at the supermarket getting a few things when a girl came up to me and asked for my number saying I look "cute". Problem is I'm gay as you can probably guess from my name. Me never experience this before tried to be as polite as possible and told her "thank you I'm flattered but I'm gay, sorry about that". I thought all would be good after that but she got upset and started ranting about how all the guys are turning gay and proceeded to call me a f_g and tr_nny for some reason (I'm not trans at all so that was confusing. I having the true blue potty mouth I have called her a c_nt and told her good luck finding a guy who wants to put up with c_nt like you. When i got home I told my sister what happened and she called me TA saying that I have no right to call a woman a c_nt and that I should consider myself lucky she would even ask me for my number. So I'm here getting the opinion of the people, AITA? ###### | NTA, she deserved it and your sisters TA if she thinks c_nt is “worse” than what that girl called you. You were just minding your own business, you didn’t ask to be approached and then berated for your sexuality. ###### |
My father left when I was very young and I was raised primarily by my mother, she died a few years ago and I've had no interest in ever getting in contact with my father. My GF has always wanted me to get in contact with him because she thinks she's some sort of therapist and all my "issues" come from a lack of a father figure.
Without checking with me she tracked him down, told him I want to get in contact and then gave him my number. He called me and I told him to piss off and blocked his number after he told me how he got his number.
We got into a massive argument where I said she had no right to meddle in my life, called her a cunt and hung up. I have no intention of speaking to her until we're allowed outside again and I'm considering just breaking up over this.
Her friend texted me to tell me how upset my GF is and that I'm a horrible person so doing this to her. ###### | NTA, she crossed a major line.
You're totally justified in being upset. She may have been trying to help, but it was in no way her place.
Hope everything works out for you, with or without her. Take some time to cool off then make your decisions, but you have the right to he pissed. ###### |
My sister and her H are very into kinky sex (I’m not and admittedly don’t know a lot about it) but my sister tells me about it a LOT so I feel like I’ve learned a decent amount. From what I can tell, sharing details with other people is part of the excitement for her. Basically he has a cuckolding fetish where he likes to watch other men having sex with my sister, then after he (excuse the TMI) sucks the other guys semen out of my sister. I’m also a woman btw, I’m guessing she wouldn’t tell me all this if I weren’t...but who knows.
So anyway I recently came across this book on Amazon about “hotwifing” and I linked it to her, saying “since Steve is a cuck I assume he’d get a kick out of this.” No response...odd. I thought maybe I misunderstood the books premise but whatever.
Then I get a response in EMAIL later, with Steve CCed, saying that it’s unacceptable for me to call him “the C word” because that’s a name only those in the cuckold community can use for each other, and that unless I personally plan to cuck Steve (theyre not asking me to, obviously) that I can’t call him a cuck. She said that from now on any communications about Steve have to be said with him on the thread and I need to apologize for the slur.
This feels...extra, I mean...a slur to me is related to race/gender but not a kink that someone chooses. She stopped short of saying this is the N word for the hotwifing community but did say she would liken it to the F word (the homophobic one.)
I didn’t apologize the way she wanted...I said I’m sorry I said it, but this new policy of cc’ing Steve is super weird and I’m worried it might Also be a kink? ###### | NTA, she CC'd him in an email about proper kink/ fetish terminology? Very bizarre ###### |
Recently, a long term relationship I had was ended. My ex was the one who broke up with me, and it was done through text. My ex has really bad anxiety, and although it definitely hurt my feelings, I am okay with the fact she had ended things through text. She and I share an apartment, but luckily my friend is alright with me staying with him in his room (as opposed to in the living room) until she's done figuring out when it's safe to move back in with her parents. Honestly, we kind of just avoid each other. I spend most of my time in my friend's room when I'm not working.
A few hours after she broke up with me, I was feeling petty and went through my social media deleting old couple posts and photos. I also went through my gallery and deleted any photos of her and us together.
Later, one of her friends called and apparently my ex was crying and having a bad anxiety attack over the changes on my social media. My friend ended up calming her down, and I felt too ashamed to help her myself. (Which is honestly bad on my part because I really do want to stay friends with her.)
Am I the Asshole for being so public about the breakup? Would it have been better If I just posted about the breakup clearly instead of deleting everything without context? ###### | NTA, she broke up with you with her via text. You are not in a relationship anymore. It is normal behavior to get rid of pictures of your ex on your social account. She is trying to make you look like the bad guy in the breakup ###### |
AITA for Not Letting My Sister use my Niece & Nephews To Manipulate Me
[F] Recently my sister got temporary custody of my neice and nephews (our brother's children). My sister was decided on as the one to get custody, because she is married, is financially better off, and doesn't work outside of the home. My sister's husband is not happy about the arrangement. When she gets tired or sick, I am the one that goes over to her house to help with the kids, ie. feed them, bathe them, put them to bed, play with them or watch them while she takes a nap. I have even run errands and brought over dinner after work. I live 45 minutes to an hour away. I have been trying to help as much as I can, all while still continuing to go to work as an "essential employee". Now that her husband is home (due current circumstances), she has wanted me to take the kids on the weekends. I truly do not mind, what I don't like is not being asked. She just Tells me the kids are coming over this weekend, and tells me what time she is bringing them. On Sunday when I need to bring them back to her, she tells me her husband wants me to keep them til 3pm or later. This weekend, she told me when she was bringing them, told me they had been sick and fighting with each other. So I go to bring them back sunday and she got angry, saying I thought you were keeping them until after we go to this meeting. She claimed she had a meeting at 2pm and wanted me to keep them until after they got back. She never asked me, she told me she had a meeting, which due to circumstances, should have been canceled. I explained, "you didnt ask me, unfortunately, I have work tomorrow and have to get some things done that I was unable to do over the weekend." She proceeded to yell at me over the phone, saying, "the kids don't ever have to come back to my house, you dont ever have to watch them again." I did bring them back. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA, she and her husband are home full time all while you are being exposed as an essential person, and they are asking to have you take the kids? You are in the clear regardless but in our current situation you need to stop allowing the kids over at all. ###### |
Preface:
So, I (16M), have been saving up some money to purchase a new laptop. Specs are very good (2070 ti, i7 10th gen, 16gb ram, etc.) and I use it for school, gaming, and 3d modeling. So the laptop costs $1500 USD, and I currently have $1660 in my bank account. Currently the laptop is out of stock until July 15, but you can pre-order it.
My mom had bought a laptop as a gift two Christmases ago, and it doesn't run certain things well, specifically the 3d modeling software I use. My stepdad however needs a new laptop for doing some stuff for his work , so I'm looking for a new one. My mom doesn't want me getting a new laptop because, "I already have one that works." I explained to her that I was planning on giving it to my stepdad, and she didn't say anything about that. So here I am finding the perfect laptop for my purposes, and as I'm about to buy it my mom stops me.
She explains that she would rather us use her credit card so she could get points on it, and I agree. She says she will buy the laptop for me and then I would transfer the money to her account. So it's been 5 days since she said she would buy it, and I'm getting kinda annoyed. I know it's not in stock for a while, but I would like to have my order be filled first. So I've been slowly increasing the pressure on my mom to buy it.
TL:DR : I have saved money for a laptop. Mom wants to use credit card, and then transfer the money into her account. It's been 5 days and I'm slowly increasing the pressure on her to buy it.
AITA? ###### | NTA, she agreed to use her card under the assumption that you will transfer the money over to her card afterwards. If she hadn’t you would have just used your own money, so you’re doing your family a favor by helping her accrue points. ###### |
I've (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (23M) for 3 years. She is Muslim, and I am from a Hindu household, but I do not really practice my religion at all. I haven't seen her practice her religion too much, but who am I to ask her about her spirituality but one thing she definitely does abide by is not eating pork. I'm pretty respectful about ordering pork when I'm eating with my girlfriend. Normally is we are eating out, we will always get dishes with no pork, or ask to remove any pork products from our meals. Even if I eat pork when I'm not with her, I will brush my teeth before we hang out (she does know I eat pork when I'm not with her). I'm not super into pork so it's not often and really isn't a big deal for me. However, I do love pepperoni on my pizza. But, if I am eating pizza with her we will not order pepperoni. Recently, we went to MOD pizza where you can customize your pizza with unlimited toppings. We had 2 buy-one-get-one-free coupons, and I suggested we get two pizza each and have a bunch of leftover pizza for the next couple days. She customized two for herself, and I customized two for myself. On one-half of one of my pizzas, I got pepperoni because it's one of my favorite toppings thinking I can eat that half of the pizza when I'm just at home by myself. During dinner, she seemed really off so I asked her what was going on, and she starting calling me an AH for ordering pepperoni while I'm with her. Now she is giving me the cold shoulder and telling me I need to apologize for not respecting her.
AITH for ordering pepperoni on my personal pizza? ###### | NTA, seems pretty controlling to hold your partner to religious beliefs against their will ###### |
I have 3 kids; 8, 6, and 4. They love to ride bikes and we live in a relatively safe neighborhood so I let them ride around the(fairly small) block as long as they stick together and do NOT go off track. Around the block only, no crossing the street
The other day they went off track because they found some mysterious cage(turned out snapping turtle eggs that someone put a cage over). It was just across the street, not a huge deal. They were fine
That said, a rule was broken. So I punished them. No going around the block for the rest of the day(and this was at 9:30am so it really was a whole day).
My husband thought it was harsh because it was a harmless move. No one got hurt or kidnapped, they saw something cool/educational, and they only went just across the street for a few minutes.
I thought it was more of a principal rule and figured if we allow this, they’ll push their luck for more later and end up lost or hurt.
I’m open to discussing a bigger biking circle than just around the block but that needs to be discussed, not something they can decide for themselves, especially when their 4 year old sibling is with them. ###### | NTA, rules are there for a reason
Not just for their safety but they also set boundaries and will develop trust between the parties involved.
Kids mindfulness is pretty rubbish at the best of times, but they’ll never grow without experiences like this to learn from. ###### |
So me (m18) and my ex girlfriend (f18) of a little over 8 months broke up about two weeks ago. For context, the breakup was pretty mutual and peaceful because we are both getting ready to go to college and didn’t think we could do long distance. Since then, she made a tik tok with several pictures and videos of me followed by some videos of her crying as a way for her to “cope” apparently. So far it has over 1700 views (I know it’s not a lot for tik tok but still wow) and it has been growing everyday. I have had over 20 people, from friends to people I barely talk to, send it to me asking if I had seen it and told me how inappropriate they thought it was. I totally agree and I asked her, with an emphasis on this, POLITELY, to take it down, and she doesn’t want to. I talked to a mutual friend of ours about it and I could not seem to reason with her, or my ex, that she should take down the video, and they kept turning it back on me as if I was the jerk and should let her do what she wants even though I do not feel comfortable with the video being up. AITA for wanting her to take it down? ###### | NTA, posting photos of people without their permission for something like this is just plain rude. If she wants to grieve your relationship she doesn’t need to do it on a public platform like that.
If you own the photos she’s using without your permission you can request Tiktok take the video down due to infringement. ###### |
First time AITA poster so sorry if my formatting isn’t great!
I (21F) went to the supermarket today to get food and I parked near a trolly collecting bay, where there was a worker collecting trollies. As I pulled out of my carpark the employee (probably late 20’s M) signalled me to stop. I just assumed I had left my purse on top of my car or something silly like that and lowered my window to find out.
The employee then said hello and started asked my name, if I was single, and my age and then tried to have a short chat with me, concluding “it was worth a try” when I told him I was not single. It appeared that he may have been not fully neurotypical and aware of the uncomfortable situation he was placing me in. I shut down the conversation quickly and politely but left the shops feeling quite uncomfortable, especially the fact it was an employee who did this while he was working.
WIBTA if I reported him to his employer? I’d hate to get anyone fired or in serious trouble especially given the current economic climate and the fact he may not have known what he did was wrong, but I also worry that he may do it to someone else who was not as confident in getting themselves out of that situation. ###### | NTA, please report him. Most companies with customer facing roles have basic training, and a big part of training is don’t use work time/customers/environment for personal stuff.
Irregardless of his intentions, the outcome was that you were left uncomfortable and that is at fault of the employee behaving inappropriately. ###### |
A while back I started buying a house w my boyfriend. We decided to let his brother and his brother's wife and kids live with us.
The wife and I each got pregnant within a few months of each other, and so the house was totally wrapped up in baby preparations.
Well, when it's her turn to give birth, he gets back with her and he's all aglow and happy saying how much the new baby looks like him, and he says "I couldn't deny her [the baby] if I tried even without the paternity test!"
I thought this was a weird thing to say. As far as I knew, their relationship was good, so I didn't see why they would do a test.
The first time he said it I let it go, but he said it a few times to a few family friends and it really started to bother me. Especially that everyone just took it in stride.
Finally, when everyone was gone various places, I asked what he meant by that. I was like "you keep talking about a paternity test what's that about" and he said it was "the one they do when a baby gets born, at the hospital" and I asked what he meant and he got frustrated and said "you know the one they always do at the hospital when a baby gets born, like you guys when yours was born, so they can put it on the birth certificate."
The confused me even more. I explained to him we didn't have one done, that we filled out the birth certificate paperwork beforehand, and all they did was ask my bf if he was the dad and he said yeah so they marked it down.
He got really quiet, and it kinda clicked for me that something was up, so I said "maybe it's because I have different insurance" because that's all I could think of.
Well he shut himself in his room, and when his wife got back they had a huge fight, and it turns out she's been cheating on him for like six years.
Everyone is upset with me for telling him, because it ruined their happiness about their new baby. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA, personally I’d rather know and be told than live in the dark. ###### |
Hey there!
So since the crisis is going on, I only have to work for one day per week (probably for April and May). The rest of the time I'm at home, chilling, watching movies, cleaning and just spending time in our (bf and me) flat.
My bf has always been working from home. And he has to do a lot of calls and videochats. That means I always have to be quiet and be carefull not to accidentally walk through the videocall.
The thing is, he does have a super nice office where he could work - it's just downstairs. But he's so used to work from our couch, or the diningtable, that he's just too comfortable with the situation.
When I asked him if he could maybe work from his office now that I'm at home more often, he got mad at me and feels like I don't want him around and that I would kick him out of our flat.
Now I'm mad at him for not seeing that it's really affecting me in not feeling comfortable in "my own four walls".
So my question is, is it wrong from me to ask him change his normal work style, or is he overreacting? ###### | NTA, perhaps if he absolutely doesn't want to use the office you could claim it and make your own chill space? Daft having a room doing nothing.
Edited for spelling ###### |
My nephew is a great kid. He’s 17 and he loves a lot of nerdy things, he’s always loved Transformers and I took him to see every movie, and I watched every show with him (including the originals from the 80s) since I babysat him a lot.
I am a collector. I have hundreds of figures and toys from Transformers, anime, games, etc.
My sister and her husband are very strict, very anti anything that’s not related to making money or working. Their kid’s not like that at all. He works hard in school and has a job, but he likes to have hobbies and do things he loves.
It’s was his birthday and I decided to gift him a rare figure that you can’t get anymore and is worth a fuck ton of money. He’s always loved that particular figure, and he was so happy to receive it that he cried. He decided then that he wanted to start his own Transformers collection and he ordered all the parts to Devastator and all his favorites with his own money. (I did buy him one more though, kid deserves it)
My sister is furious because she says I’m teaching him to be lazy and waste his money on useless shit. I got angry and told her that if it makes you happy, it’s not useless, and that she needs to show a little interest in her son beyond his grades and income because he’s told me that he feels like he’s unloved unless he’s her little robot.
AITA? ###### | NTA, people should be happy the way they want to be happy, not the way their parents want them to be happy. ###### |
So for some reason the kids in my neighborhood have decided that they want to start playing basketball at 10pm or later. Now I’m usually pretty chill about pretty much everything but it’s gone from them just playing basketball to them yelling and screaming while playing basketball. Even then that wouldn’t be an issue if it were something that happened every now and then. I’ve been their age before and I’ve done my fair share of stupid teenage things but I’m not sure where to draw the line.
Edit: I should have said that I’ve already talked to the parents about it (seemed pretty chill , it stopped for about a week and then it started back up). In addition to this they tend to leave trash everywhere (water bottles , napkins, soda cans) ###### | NTA, people need to be respectful in neighborhoods. But before you do anything like that you need to go and try to communicate with them and handle it yourself. Just be safe about it. My uncle tried to talk to a group of teens who were doing something similar late into the night and they jumped him and put him in intensive care for months. ###### |
My wife (30F) just gave birth to our first baby boy. Her father, 70M, often says the n word and is just in generally not very accepting of the black community. He has gotten so much worse in the past week with all of the current events: throwing the n word around left and right and just being discriminatory. I guess that this is just the “old generation” but nonetheless that is completely a dealbreaker for me.
I have put up with family gatherings with him for our entire relationship. If it was my father I’d cut him off immediately but I can’t make that decision for her so I keep my peace. I have told him I don’t like the word respectfully but he just keeps doing it. I’m old enough to make to decisions, my child is just born and will absorb what is around him.
I told my wife I do not want him around our son unless he refuses to say the word. He says he will say whatever he wants because he’s 70 years old and my wife agrees and thinks I am being controlling. I think I have good morals and want what is best for my kid. AITA? ###### | NTA, other commenters seem to be missing that you specifically said “unless he refuses to say the word”. That’s a perfectly reasonable boundary to draw. ###### |
So my little brother is 14yo and going to be a freshman next year in HS, I am 17 and I graduate this year. I don't want to sound too mean but he's pretty......large and very very out of shape. I played football and track so after middle school I have always been in really good shape. My brother recently asked me if I could help him lose weight and get in shape cause he wants to play football, I warned him that I would be just as hard as a coach and he said he's ready for that.
There is this grassy hill area near my house where I use to train all the time, and I thought that would be perfect to coach him up there. I wouldn't say I go like military drill instructor hard but it is pretty hard, but in a way to hype him up. Like lets say he's getting tired of running I say stuff like "come on, you fucking got this, you got half a mile left." Or if he struggles with the pushups I get right down there with him and say stuff like "you got 5 fucking more you just did 30 don't give up now, I wont let you quit." Nothing really demeaning other than sometimes telling him that he doesn't want to go back to being fat.
My dad was watching me coach him and he said that I'm "being too hard on him" and that I need to loosen up. My brother hasn't said anything negative from what I've doing and in the past month we've been doing this he was at 250 and he's down to 210. Still a ways to go but its something and I won't lie, it feels good to know I helped him lose 40 pounds already. AITA? ###### | NTA, on the condition that your brother hasn't been negatively affected by your methods. They seem to be working, and as long as they aren't damaging him emotionally, you should keep at it. However, if he has behavioral changes or has negative reactions (verbal or non-verbal) to your coaching, then you should absolutely switch tactics. ###### |
So this actually happened when I was 16 (I’m 20M currently), but it still makes me mad and I just want to know if I was the asshole.
I’m the oldest of 10 kids (I only lived with 8 of them the 9th was born after) and I have always looked after my siblings. The oldest 4 are 13+ and the youngest 6 are 8 and below. My family is a blended family consisting of me, two full siblings, 3 half sisters, 1 step brother, two adopted sisters, and a “step” sister.
So my stepmom routinely liked to perform whole house checks if someone pissed her off. Kind of like how you see in those prison shows when they rip the prisoners bunks apart except she did that with the whole house. Now my stepmom and I used to get along until these became a regular thing. She would constantly invade our space and then make us clean up the mess.
As a teenager I kept multiple journals diaries and notebooks. Like I could fill a medium sized duffel bag with how many I had. And instead of voicing how I felt when I was upset I would right it down. I will admit, there were nasty things in there. But kids think of nasty things in the moment when they’re mad.
I’m not sure what had originally set her off but my stepmother was livid. We were all supposed to head downstairs so she could search the upstairs. I hid my diary knowing that she would ground me until I graduated if she saw it. Of course she found it, read it, and was even more angry. So angry that she sat me down and just exploded on me. Calling me all sorts of names saying how I’m ungrateful for everything.
The thing is though, what I wrote about her was true. She didn’t parent more than one kid. Ever. I’ve been a parent since I was 11 and that didn’t stop when my dad married her. She was also super controlling the whole time I lived there. She still claims that she did nothing wrong and that’s just parenting, but I strongly disagree. We aren’t on good terms now and my dad tries to stay out of it. So reddit. AITA? ###### | NTA, older siblings should NOT be taking in the role of a parent or a free caretaker/babysitter. You've been stripped of your childhood, I'm sorry OP. ###### |
My (F32) husband (M45) and I have been together for 9 years. The entire course of our relationship he has obsessively cleared his search history, text messages, emails, Instagram, etc. It has always bothered me but he has always insisted he has nothing to hide he just has bad OCD and prefers everything to be clear. In hindsight, I wish I had pushed a bit more, but knowing him and knowing how bad his OCD can be, I believed him. We share finances, I have access to his email (both our emails are linked on Gmail sign in), etc. For the longest time, he made me feel that any suspicion was just in my head and that I have trust issues, etc. Additionally - though we have an active sex life, I have a higher libido than he does and generally I feel we lack a sense of intimacy.
I don't know what came over me, but a few days ago I snooped on his Instagram while he was in the shower. I found a message with a user I don't know (private account, clearly a throwaway username) where they had been sending hot models back and forth to each other. In the last message, my husband sent the user a link to a model's Patreon and asked him to send her $ and he would reimburse. (I presume so a charge to Patreon wouldn't appear on our cc statement).
I sat on the information for a few days, trying to process and talk myself off the ledge. Ultimately, I confronted him. I felt betrayed, hurt, confused...I feel like I've been gaslit our entire marriage and I don't know how I will ever trust him again. He thinks I am overreacting to the Nth degree, that "everybody" does this (this is what Instagram is for, apparently), etc.
He really wants me to move on and is sulking, feeling hurt by my snooping on his phone. I am heartbroken, unable to look him in the eye, feeling like we won't be able to come back from this since I don't know how I can trust him again.
AITA?? ###### | NTA, oh fucking christ this is awful. He's been lying to you this whole time, and now he's been caught he's gaslighting you to try and make light of it. This is not an insignificant issue. He knew you wouldn't be OK with it, so he's been doing it secretly, deleting the evidence, and now that the game is up he's making out like YOU are the unreasonable one for finding out. I know everyone goes on about how messed up this sub is for jumping to unfair conclusions about SOs but this is literally textbook gaslighting and it's not in any way shape or form ok. ###### |
Hello,
First of all, sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my native langage.
Recently, I (20f) had an argument with my boyfriend (25m). We've been together for almost two years now and I've never hidden the fact that I have severe endometriosis. Because of that I had to go under surgery to remove life threatening cysts (my ovaries could have litteraly explod). I want kids, but later, when I can afford to take care of them. Now is my problem, because of the cysts and the disease in general, I'm pratically sterile, and I would have to freeze my last eggs to preserve them and use them when I'll want kids. For that I have to go under treatment for a month, then collect the eggs through another surgery and to be sure I'll have chances to get pregnant I have to go through this 3 or 4 times. (It would cost me nothing, my assurance will pay for 5 tries max)
My parents support me, because my mother went through the same thing, they want grandchildren and my happiness, but my boyfriend disagree. He does not want kids, I never asked him to become a father in our situation but I want to save my chances for later. He thinks that because he does not want kids, I should not try to save my eggs because he won't change his mind. I want to do it for me, nothing tells me he won't change his mind, or that we will still be together when I want kids. I think he's being selfish and inconsiderate of my own choices and body. I never said I wanted to use those eggs right now and force him to be a father, so this has nothing to do with him ? He said that eventually he will leave me if I speak about it again or agree to the treatment.
I don't think it is wrong for me to do something with my body that has nothing to do with him, so do you thing I am? ###### | NTA, of course. But if your boyfriend is sure that he doesn't want kids and you are sure that you do, then why stay together? ###### |
I'm m23 and she's f23 and we've been together for about 2 years, last November I won a lottery and after taxes it was enough to set my parents, sister and myself up for life. I quit my job and bought a nice condo and another investment property.
My GF just graduated school this June and she's been talking about the debt she has and it would be great if I could pay it off etc. I always just say I'll think about it because its about 65k and I when I did win I did buy her some things totaling like 5k, including, a laptop, jewelry and a vacation.
She brought it up again last night that its so weird of me to not think of her because if I see a future with her I'd need to pay off her debt anyways and how I'm being greedy when I don't just give her money. Not much has changed between us, I just chill at my place and she lives with her parents and I cover all dates, food etc.
I told her that I am not sure if I want to pay off her debt and I need to think about it still. She called me a cheap asshole and a POS. And her sister also called me later and told me that its seriously shitty of me that I never gave her a piece of what I won.
AITA? ###### | NTA, of course. It's your money; you're free to spend it however you want.
But... as a practical matter, I'm dubious that any relationship that hasn't progressed to the point of joint finances can survive a lottery win.
I mean, how do you go from "Both of us have to worry about paying the bills and a mountain of student loans, and we both have to deal with sucking it up at jobs we might dislike and working our way up our careers until--one day!--we can retire and live the life we want" to "Well, that's *your* life, not mine anymore. Have fun at the job you hate while I spend all day relaxing at the beach."
It might be she's a gold-digger, but honestly, it feels like is the sort of thing that would destroy most relationships. Would you honestly not resent your GF, even a little, if she was suddenly set for life--not from anything she accomplished, but simply pure random chance--while you were still struggling? ###### |
My grandmother is a very stubborn person.She never thinks she is wrong and get emotional when I call her out on her behavior.
She loves cooking,its tasty food but there is only so much I can eat, I get full very quickly compared to others in my family. She frequently makes different types of food for us to eat and I politely refuse because I can't eat anymore, but she doesn't take no for an answer and keep telling me to eat it. She wont stop telling me to eat the food. I got mad at yelled at her I told her I am the one who decide what I want to eat and she can't force it down my throat. This made her sad and complained to my mom about my attitude.
I think I am in the wrong but her stubbornness is driving me crazy
AITA? ###### | NTA, of course, saying you can't eat more is okay, as long as you're polite about it, I doubt she'd be happy with you throwing up in her house due to overeating ###### |
Fairly confident I'm not the asshole here, but who knows, maybe I need to see it from another perspective.
Single Mum of a 1 year old boy, his father and I split very early on in his life. He has him every second weekend.
It's his weekend to have him, I have made plans that I don't really want to cancel. He's messaged me saying he's going to be hungover tomorrow (when he's due to take him) so he said he'll let me know if he can have him. I've said no, he has to take him regardless as I have plans. He's throwing a wobbly and saying that our son won't be in the best care due to him expecting to be "under the weather", and that I am acting as an unfit mother as I'm prepared to take that risk and leave him with his Dad.
He's hungover, not sick. If he was sick, understandable I'd keep him with me I don't want him getting sick. But hungover? Please! If he wants to go out prior to his designated weekend that's his decision, doesn't change his responsibilities.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA, obviously. Let him know if he'd like to forfeit his custody rights that's up to him, but it's a permanent decision, not a 'whenever I feel like it' decision'. He doesn't get to be a parent just when it's convenient. Good call dumping him! ###### |
To start this off, today is my birthday. I woke up a little extra early and told him half-asleep I wouldn't be back to bed - only reason for doing so is since he has a tendency of noticing I'm not in bed and sleepily looking for me.
So I ended up in the living room using the laptop - the screen facing away from the bedroom. The alarm goes off at the usual time and I go to wake him as he claims the alarm doesn't wake him. He gets up and is a grouch all morning, stating me being awake throws off his morning and he hadn't planned for me to be awake - down to I should somehow know ahead of time to give him notice. I ask him to please stop, that I'd rather not be snapped at on my birthday, and it's one day out of maybe six months to a year I woke up early.
He continues up until leaving for work, blaming me for his morning sucking while I'm pissed I couldn't even get a "happy birthday" before he settled into grumpy mode.
AITA For being upset my husband was snappy at me? ###### | NTA, obviously. He is the only person who can control his environment and if you being awake throws off his morning routine so much that he can’t be civil, that’s a him problem not a you problem.
I’m sorry your birthday started so shittily, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you do something today that makes you happy. ###### |
This account is a throwaway
Recently my son had a child with his now ex. He told me he is not planning to raise the kid or being involved with the kid and he is just sending child support. My daughter overheard this and came to the room saying he is not a man because he does not want to raise a child.
My son is 19 daughter is 27. I then in the moment brought up my daughter's abortion saying that she is a not a women because she did not take responsibility and raised the kid she helped create and chose to get rid of it. My daughter screamed and said it's not the same thing and left. So aita for bringing up my daughter's abortion after she told her brother that he is not a man because he chose not to help raise the kid he helped create. ###### | NTA, not because I believe what you said to your daughter is true but because she was being a hypocrite and needed the metaphorical slap in the face. ###### |
Some back story. When he and I first got together up until merely a couple of months ago (two months max) she would call him begging him to take her back. They have a child, and in the past she's kept the child from him until recently, because she has no place to live. I've stayed insulted by her actions and trespasses against our relationship, my boyfriend, and even their child from keeping him away from his father.
Now the child has a routine, rules, and he knows what to expect day to day. He's very young and misses his mom all the time. My boyfriend messaged her asking her to contact him more, weeks would go by without a call or anything. When she did call, he'd wake up at night screaming, crying, or running to the front door. So he asked her to call and visit more often, which had helped him.
But now, due to current worldwide circumstances, she doesn't really have a lot of places to take him. However, it makes me very uncomfortable having her at our house. She corners him into discussions about their previous relationship, asking him what she did wrong, etc. I'm insulted that he would allow her to go that far.
She wants to spend time with him in our home. When my boyfriend said it wasn't okay she began to cry, which I see as a guilt trip. My boyfriend makes arguments to me about why she should be able to stay.
AITA for taking offense to all of this? To both of them; her for weaseling in, and him for allowing her to go so far? Am I justified in my view, or am I not seeing this clearly?
Thanks, reddit. ###### | NTA, not at all. Your frustration is justified and it really sucks that she has the emotional maturity of a 5 year old.
Have you tried talking to her directly? Not in an angry way but more like ''Hey, I understand you're not completely over it, but you make me feel very bad by always bringing up your past relationship with him. Could you please refrain from doing that ?"
If she doesn't understand well, screw her. But if your boyfriend doesn't start putting some boundaries, I don't know if this relationship will be beneficial to your mental health long term. ###### |
My parents have been divorced since I was like a 2 or 3, my mom remarried when I was around 10 but they were dating when I was like 7. I am an only child but my step dad had 4 kids of his own, 3 girls and 1 boy. at the time when I was 7 they were 10, 8, 7 and the boy was 5 (they are 20, 18, 17 and 15).
The blending with that side of the family did not go well at all, me and the 7yo fought A LOT and I also didn't get along with the 10yo, the 8 and 5yo just stayed out of it and I don't got much of a problem with them. Things have always been tense and we've just never gotten along. This has lead to really bad exclusion, I was only there for 3 weeks every month and they never treated me like a full member of the family. Their mom is a dead beat so they call my mom "mom" most of the time but refer to me as "mom's kid" or "step brother" I have referred to them as step siblings also, not in a mean way but that is what they are.
My dad remarried to my step mom when I was around 4 (I don't want to say anything for sure but I'm pretty sure he cheated). I like my step mom and me and my brother (I just call him my brother) are pretty close.
I am at my dad's currently and was thinking that I really don't want to go back there yet. I am tired of moving around and I want to stay here longer, even switch it so its 3 weeks at his place and 1 week at mom's. The main reasons I want to stay at my dads more is because:
1. No offense to my mom but I like my dad more
2. I love my brother WAY more than the steps
3. I have a bigger room, plus I like having a smaller family rather than a big one.
WIBTA if I change the custody agreement and stay at my dad's longer? ###### | NTA, not at all. I assume your mom isn't going to be super heartbroken, especially with how old you are, so yeah, why not. ###### |
So I’ve been casually sleeping with this guy for about a year. We’re not dating, just a sexual relationship. I didn’t want anything else and we we’re both fine with that. Anyways back in September I found out I was pregnant. I was freaking out since I’m only twenty two and I have so much I want to do before becoming a mother. I had the Depo shot so I thought I couldn’t get pregnant. I got the abortion pills and that was that. My FWB is my only sexual partner so I knew the kid was his.
I didn’t really think to tell him, it took less than two weeks for everything to happen. We’re not dating or even close to being boyfriend/girlfriend. Definitely not a situation to bring a baby into. After I took the pills I went and got my bc fixed and and IUD and I made him start wearing condoms since I was so paranoid.
Once during a hookup a few weeks after this, I left to go grab something from my car. He used my bathroom and I guess he saw the wrapping the pills came in my trash and read the instructions. He put two and two together and realized I got an abortion. When I came back up he confronted me. He asked if I got an abortion and held up the packaging. I said yes and he started crying and screaming . He said that it’s not just my choice to make and that I’m disgusting.
I kicked him out. We got into a phone call argument and I ended things. It was so weird. You’re not my boyfriend. I don’t owe you an explanation, plus being you wanting to raise the baby on your own still means I have to go through the pregnancy and judgements of abandoning a baby. We never spoke again. I brought this up to my sister recently and she told me I’m the asshole and should have at least told him I was taking the pills beforehand. I don’t see why I should’ve. ###### | NTA, not at all. But you should empty your trash cans more often, he saw the packaging a few weeks later? ###### |
I’m a 20 year old university student getting through the pandemic and staying away from home because of the travel restrictions. My mom has been reading the parent pages for my university and came across another parent who apparently wrote repeatedly about how depressed/lonely her daughter is. My mom has hounded me repeatedly to let her mom “connect” us but I refuse. I can only imagine how humiliated I would feel if my parent had publicly posted about my mental state and tried to find strangers to talk to me out of pity. As far as I can tell, this person isn’t reaching out to any university pages themselves and considering how we are all quarantined, me being in the same city as her at the moment doesn’t mean I could even hang out with her. My mom says I have no empathy for other people but I also don’t feel like I’m in a good enough mental state to try to give support to other people when I can’t even give it to myself right now.
tl;dr I don’t want to be “pity” friend to an adult whose mother is posting about her on Facebook. ###### | NTA, nobody is entitled to your time and you are not obligated to give it. ###### |
Some days ago one of my long term “friends” called my mother a cow for no reason in our group chat. He had been saying that to me and some other friends some for some days prior and we told him he was going too far and to stop because it was rude. He kept doing it and I once again told him to stop and that I’d fight him if he ever did it again.
So a couple of days later we were talking about Bernie Sanders dropping and I asked who they were planning on voting now. He said “ur mom” then in another message added “who happens to be a cow” so I told him off, told him I’d fight him if I ever saw him again, and kicked him out of the chat. I later asked him if he had a problem with me or why he was saying that about my mother and he said he was doing it because he thought it was funny and apologized but I didn’t accept his apology as I had already told him to stop and he had crossed the line for being unnecessarily rude.
Now the rest of my “friends” are defending him saying he was just joking and they invited him back and now they are treating me like I am the asshole for not forgiving him. I then left the group chat and I haven’t talked to any of them since. Honestly I think I can’t be friends with anyone who can’t respect my mom especially after she did nothing but be super nice to all my friends. ###### | NTA, no decent person would think it's okay to call their friend's mum a cow and to keep on doing it after you voiced discomfort for the first time. he clearly has no respect for a person you dearly love and who has been nice to him. your group of friends are AHs, every one of them, and you're not in the wrong at all for cutting ties with them. ###### |
My partner and I are thinking about marriage. Last night I told him I planned on keeping my name and he was clearly devastated by it. He accommodates me in every way I ask, so should I do this for him? It's not a deal breaker for either one of us, but I still feel so guilty now.
I want to keep my name because I feel it's part of my heritage and connects me to my culture. I don't feel any connection to his last name, and I'd be the one creating a whole new identity. However, he feels it's a wholesome part of getting married. He feels that without me taking his last name our marriage will be lacking in some way. ###### | NTA, my wife kept her last name. At first I didnt love the idea, but she wad adamant. She's spent her whole life becoming who she is, and she is proud of the name associated with her. It's a tired old tradition that she doesn't subscribe to. I knew I wasn't interested in changing my last name and neither was she. I've gotten over it, and it really doesn't matter. ###### |
My younger sister has been assigned loads of school work, one of the subjects being art. They have her do drawings then colour them in. Now she doesn’t have any of her own markers, so she uses mine that I got for christmas. I wouldn’t mind if they were cheap Crayola Markers, but these ones are expensive, especially the skin tone ones that are a good 35$. And it’s not like shes been using them for small assignments, she uses them for drawings on a much larger scale. If it was once or twice I wouldn’t mind, but she’s been using them constantly and some of them are starting to dry out. I keep telling her to stop using them as they are my markers. She tells me that markers are meant to be used that I barely use them. I tell her that it’s none of her business how often I use them and that they are meant to be used by me. She will not budge with her, “they are meant to be used“ excuse and refuses to stop using them or acknowledge that they still belong to me. Now she’s all huffy at me because of it. Most people have sided with me but a few have said I’m in the wrong. Am I the A-hole for not letting her use my expensive markers for her constant art assignments? ###### | NTA, my old friend always talked about copic markers and how expensive they were, I don't know if they sell ink refills, but if they do, you should probably try and get her to pay for those, get a small cheap safe off amazon and lock then in their, I wouldn't recommend the cheap safes for cash, but to keep someone out of my markers i would. ###### |
My older sister has just moved back after living away for years, so we are finally all living close together. At a dinner with my mother and younger sister tonight, I mentioned we wanted to do a 'sister dinner' for some bonding time. It's not really something we've ever had a chance to do in the past.
My mother was incredibly offended that we were 'excluding her' and said it was rude. Then sulked away, left the table and sent us a message from another room "how would you feel if you were the one left out? For each of you there is a descriptor for why you don’t belong."
Honestly I think her message is unnecessarily savage and I honestly wouldn't mind if she took my other sisters out for dinner, but AITA? ###### | NTA, my mother pulls crap like this all the time. I just don't make those types of plans around her anymore. I already have a kid, I didn't sign up to have to deal with another one that is adult sized. ###### |
My mom (55F) has been slowly starting to pry at me (25F) about when I’m planning on having kids, how many, and if I plan on marrying my on and off again boyfriend. It’s annoying but I just ignore her or tell her to drop it most days. I’m not even done with college, I don’t feel like I’m even old enough for that. Ive never been interested in kids or marriage either and she knows this!!
For context, my older brother has two kids with his girlfriend. So now she’s looking at me the middle child for her next grand baby. She’s even gone so far as calling me by my boyfriends last name, knowing full well I don’t believe in that and do not plan on ever changing my name.
It came to a head last week when I was visiting. Everything was normal and then she just says “so when do you plan on settling down. You aren’t getting any younger.” And I LOST it. I just screamed “mind your own god damn business.” My dad yelled at me, I yelled at him, then my older brother yelled at me. It was a mess.
My friend picked me up and when I told her what happened she said I was the asshole for yelling at my mom when she’s asking normal “mom things.” Both my brothers think I was an asshole but my boyfriend doesn’t. My mom hasn’t called or texted since this happened. ###### | NTA, my mom does this, after very calmly talking to her about it 100's of times. It bothers both me and my wife and makes regular happy visits strangely awkward immediately.
I 100% understand your frustration as she is basically ignoring your feelings as well as a very simple request. Best of luck to you. ###### |
I have exotic pets, large reptiles and small mammals.
His kids come over and start going in cages and leaving them unlocked and giving me a heartattack trying to find my pets they released (surprisingly none have killed each other yet)
I told him he needs to leep a better eye on them or Im going to ban them from my house.
Today they caused my tegu to drop his tail (which is extremely hard to do they don’t drop it as easily as your random house gecko it takes a lot of trauma)
So I kicked them and my brother out and said they aren’t welcome back until they learn to respect me and my animals.
My mom called me and said Im being a massive prick it’s “just a lizard”
First off I’m expecting around a $600 vet bill from this as I have to get him x-rayed to make sure it dropped in a way that didn’t harm him and if you know anything about tegus you know they have the intellect of a 3-5 year old child.
Second this isn’t the first time they were warned.
Third my brother told me to just buy locks for my cages, It’s not my responsibility to pay to have my cages locked and i don’t want the additional hassle of having to lock and unlock cages twice a day (some cages don’t even have a way to install a lock)
Me-23M brother 32M his kids 10F and 8M
AITA
TLDR: brothers kids don’t respect my animals so i kicked them out ###### | NTA, my 10F kid knows to respect people's animals and their things these kids are old enough to understand respect. ###### |
So back story first. I rewatched both “Narcos” series on netflix, and I ended up downloading several songs from the soundtrack. I love all kinds of music, and I got really into the dramatic songs, like the intro “Tuyo”, or “No me hables de ese amor”. I sing along to my music when I’m working or alone, and one day recently a friend overheard me singing one of the spanish songs. Her mother is from Mexico, and she speaks spanish herself, and she got offended and said I was being racist by singing a language I don’t know. I had looked up the lyrics to the song, and had a rough idea of how to pronounce them correctly, and what they meant. I certainly didn’t mean to come across as racist, I just enjoyed the sound of the music and the vocals. I know my pronunciation was probably atrocious to a native speaker, but I wasn’t trying to mock and accent or anything like that. I explained myself to my friend, and she understood, but she still maintains that what I’m doing is racist and I should stop. ###### | NTA, musicians literally take classes on how to sing in other languages that they don’t know. What the fuck is your friend on about? ###### |
I grew up with "Uncle" and "Aunt" siblings. My brother Rob is 42, my sister Patricia is 39. I am \[Winona\] 20F.
My brother has a 19-year-old daughter \[Gina\] whom I call my sister. We are close. We currently live together and attend the same Uni. We go on a lot of trips together and talk on the phone for hours. She's seriously my best friend.
I have a niece \[Lilly\] and a nephew \[Parker\] who are 8 and 10.
Patricia doesn't take the time to call or get to know me. When we are in the same location, she is really dismissive of my interests. She commonly tells me that I sound like a child when I talk *or* that I need to grow up because it was much harder for her when she was a kid.
We all went on a cruise together two years back. I was 19, Gina was 18, and we spent the whole time doing whatever we wanted and staying up until 3 am. Which was super fun!
At the end of the trip, Gina and I posted all the pictures we took. Most of them were with our parents or people we met on the ship, or just stupid faces together. We also had a lot of landscapes and day trips we did.
I took zero pictures of Patricia and her family. They acted like we weren't there most of the time unless she wanted us to babysit her kids \[which we said no to\].
She got upset when she figured out that we had taken pictures of everyone else and not her family or her kids. She is not big on doing photography herself and claimed \[since we went on some daytrips together\] that I would include her kids. I told her that I didn't feel like she viewed me as a sister so why would I want her in my family pictures.
She cried. ###### | NTA, mostly. Your camera, your social media. Take and post whatever pictures you want. You're NTA for not taking pictures of her, and she was something of an asshole for responding that way.
That being said, saying you don't want her in your family pictures (as opposed to just happening not to take any) was a really low blow. She doesn't treat you as a sister because she's almost twenty years older than you and is in a totally different stage of life. What 40 year old enjoys hanging out with a couple teenage girls? And what teenagers like hanging out with gen-Xers? That doesn't mean you aren't family. I can understand why your little quip made her upset. ###### |
I’m not even kidding and I really wish I was joking, like who tf looks at a baby and decide to call him something from twilight? My eldest brother thinks I’m being too hard on him. But, come on guys, Moonlight? I don’t want my nephew to be bullied at school. ###### | NTA, moonlight and Anakin Skywalker from another post earlier today are going to be best friends! ###### |
Okay so basically my girlfriend (23f) and I (24m) have been dating for just over 4 months it’s been pretty good, little to no arguments about anything.
She came over last Thursday and said she had a gift for me and one for herself too, I thought this was strange as it’s not near any of our birthdays or anything. She handed a box and told me to open it, inside was a baby camera, immediately my heart started racing as I thought she was going to tell me she was pregnant, but to my surprise she wasn’t.
She told me she wants me to put it in my living room so “we can always see each other even when we’re not together” because it is wifi enabled through an app you can get up on your phone.
I spun some story to avoid conflict as she was only going to be at my house for the next hour or so, I told her I was too afraid of hackers getting into it and watching me, but I don’t actually want to be seen at all times by my girlfriend. She called that bluff and got angry with me in which I asked her to leave, she did so in tears.
Please note she doesn’t use reddit and this isn’t a throwaway but I am not cheating and I wouldn’t so that’s not why I’m opting out of it.
I told her I needed a few days to myself and haven’t seen her since (it’s Monday now) I understand we both have feelings but i don’t know if I disregarded hers too much
AITA for not wanting to put a baby monitor in my house? ###### | Nta, major invasion of privacy, she has to respect that. That’s fucking weird. ###### |
I come from a large family. Everyone is going through a tough time right now. In particular my baby sister (29) who has had her hours drastically cut. She was expecting an unemployment check today but didn’t receive it and is too stressed to call to find out why. I get it, anxiety sucks. She says she’s ok for now but one of my other sisters started a group to try to raise money for her. I said I’ll give her money if she asks for it.
The shit hit the fan. How dare I force her to ask, I know how proud she is! I do know, I’ve offered her desperately needed money before and she’s refused. So have other family members, pride runs strong in the family. I don’t feel like doing it again. She (any of them) can ask me for money or just not get money from me.
My husband agrees with me. My entire family is calling me a bitch and kicked me out of the texting group.
AITA here?
ETA I think I wasn’t clear enough. The sister who is leading the charge against me offered my underemployed sister money but she said “no” she didn’t need anything right now. Which is why I’m saying “if you need something, just ask. Let me know and I’ll help.
I said “loans” but I never ask my family to pay me back and I make that clear to them. I call it a loan so they can feel better about it. That pride thing again. ###### | NTA, like you said, she’s already refused profusely before, so if she’s really desperate and has no other options she’ll come to her family. i honestly think it’ll hurt her pride more if you all were to actively raise money and then give it to her. she’s an adult, and she can figure it out without her family holding her hand financially ###### |
So my niece (15f, we’ll call her oliva) and I (15f) are really close in age, she’s a month older then I am. My parents had me when they were both 41, and by then my sister was 20 and already had her own kid. Because of our ages, we’ve never really had the typical aunt/niece relationship. We’re more like cousins, but she calls me auntie as a joke.
So I just got a inhaler for some breathing problems I have related to allergies. We were chilling in my room watching tv and she asked to see my inhaler. So I give it to her and for no reason at all, she puts it in her mouth and starts fucking rapidly pressing it over and over again. So I freak out, and wrestle it from her and start yelling at her because man I don’t know if you can overdose on that shit.
And I also only got so many uses in one can and she just used up about 20. So I’m yelling at her asking wtf she just did that for and she just gets up and storms out. I kinda just sat there for a moment before I walked out to find her telling her mom (my sister) on me. My sister got really pissed at me, because ‘she was just curious’.
She said that I had to apologize to oliva, but I laughed at her and said no way. The whole time oliva is just kinda standing there look sheepish. I say no, and she just takes oliva and storms out. My parents are on my side but they said that yelling at her was kinda a asshole move because I really don’t have the right. But she just put her mouth on my medical equipment and used it up.
Was yelling at her really a asshole move? AITA? And does anyone have a idea as to why the hell she thought it was ok to just do that?? ###### | NTA, like you said, she used your medication. Who tf does that?
My aunt and I are six months apart (I’m older) and the amount of times we’ve yelled at each other for doing something stupid can’t even be counted. If she one day decided to take a bunch of my ADHD meds (no longer on, reasons), I’d flip my shit at her.
Your niece and your sister are assholes. ###### |
My GF of two years is scared of cats, and I mean REALLY scared of cats. I have had this cat for 7 years. At first when she came to my place I had to take the cat outside, close all windows or doors and make sure my cat didn't sneak up to play with me or something like that. Long story short, she couldn't take it anymore and told me that she feels really uncomfortable knowing that there is a cat lurking around and that she wouldn't come to my place again if I didnt get rid of my cat. We tried therapy but it looks like the therapy is for me to cope with the loss of my pet.,
I don't want to give my cat away so last saturday we talked about this and broke up ..Now I feel like shit for ruining my relationship. AITA?
[Kitty](https://i.imgur.com/oBgaopm.jpg) not knowing what is going on :(
EDIT1:
HOLLY CRAP! I didn't expect this amount of response! Thank you everyone for taking the time and leave your comment. It is hard to understand that things and plans sometimes doesn't work or go the way we want and that is fine, that is life. It is harder when feelings are involved. ###### | NTA, kitty was there first, and gf sounds like she needs the therapy if she is going to freak out about being anywhere near a cat.
Your cat is freakin adorable btw ###### |
So, my fiancee tore a bunch of pages out of my sketchbook when I let her use it when we played DnD. These were pages she didn't use, and many had drawings on them. I didn't notice she did this until I was given the sketchbook back, and then we had this conversation:
Me: hey, can you be sure to not take any pages out of this next time? Especially if I've drawn on it.
Her: ok?? But you let me use it for dnd
Me: yeah, but I didn't say you could rip out a bunch of pages.
Her: but you said I could have it for dnd.
Me: I never said you could have it, I just told you you could use some of the pages when we play dnd. I even said we should go to walgreens to get more
Her: you shouldn't even be mad about this
Me: its not okay to tell me how to feel
Her: yeah, it is.
Me: no, thats bordering on emotional abuse.
Her: you're being irrationally angry about this, you need to be told how to feel
Me: you started making excuses and then started telling me how to feel, of course Im angry
Her: im not making excuses, you clearly dont know what that word means
It doesn't get any better from there, and ends with her yelling at me that Im always wrong and don't want to admit it. I don't know how to feel or if thats true, so I'm asking you all. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA, Just saying, you've called the bullshit spot on and it's being ignored. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 ###### |
Here's the situation. I've been living in this shared apartment with 2 other poeple for 3 years now. The other two havent always been the same two people but keep constantly changing like every 6-12 months. So I'm not really building a relationship with them here. And for 3 years I've been living there I've bought/brought almost every necessity there can be and I never charged any of the others for it. Practically 95% of the kitchen tools and whatnot is from me. Be it pans, pots, knives, mixers, even a freezer, its all mine. And I plan on taking everything with me when I move in with my gf sometime soon, like in 1-2 years. I paid for it, so why shouldn't I take it? I'm definitely planning on doing so but 10% of me still feels kind of bad to let the other 2 people, whoever they may be until then, sit there with just one shitty ass old pot and no kitchen machines (toaster, mixer, microwave). ###### | NTA, just make sure you give them a heads up so they can prepare ###### |
My sister (38) had a child 3 years ago. I (25) took that child under my wing 3 years ago. Here's a bit about the situation.
My sister has drug and alcohol addictions.
My sister give birth to a beautiful little boy. The minute the child was born the social worker where involved as this wasnt my sister 1st child.
She had a child 18 years ago and our mother and father ended up taking the child in when he was 4.
The child born 3 years ago was in the position of going to foster care. I couldnt let this happen. He's famiy. so I did everything in my power to kept him in our family
I stept in and took the child under my wing. At 22 this was a big resonabile but I didnt cared. I had to quit my jobs and I had to buy everything for the child as my sister hadn't had anything. She was gifted stuff but the person that gifted it asked for it back. I moved out of my home house to get a house of my own so the child could stay in my care.
My sister sign and agreed that I cared for the child. I have full guardianship now.
The child calls me mammy. And calls my sister by her first name. In the years to come I am going to tell the child everything. The child knows he has a big brother but is to young to understand yet about his birth mother.
The child sees the mother every week for 2 hours. Due to the covid 19 it had to be put on hold. However the mother only has two hours once a week and sometimes comes late. She somethings shows up with drink in her (gets turned away the door) and sometimes doesn't even show up at all.
She hasn't seen the child for 3 or months and I was putting the contact back on today. She didn't show. Didnt ring. Nothing. Found our later she slept in.
I'm my opinion I dont think she's that bothered
I'm not sure if I should continue the contact in future as she is unreliable and it's not fair to the child
Would I be the asshole if I stop contact with the birth mother and the child. ###### | NTA, just make sure you are legally covered. You can always restart contact later if/when mom cleans up her act. ###### |
A little background: I am the scapegoat of my family and it has lead to a lot of self hate and a I’ve been trying to unlearn a lot of it recently. A while ago I had a breakdown and confined in my sister that I always feel like people hate me, specially my family but also strangers and friends and we had a talk about it and I completely forgot we ever had that conversation. Today me and her had an argument about something completely unrelated and she said “well atleast I’m not hated by literally everyone around me” and I instantly felt horrible, not only because this is something that I struggle with so much but also because I trusted her and told her my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in front of the rest of my family (who didn’t disagree lolol), we live in the same house unfortunately but I’ve been avoiding her, we haven’t spoken in maybe a week, she tried talking to me today by asking to watch a movie and I told her I don’t feel comfortable hanging out with her, am I the asshole for wanting to completely isolate myself from her after this incident?
TLDR: told my sister my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in an unrelated argument ###### | NTA, just because she's family doesn't mean you owe her any of your time especially with her saying that to you ###### |
My mom has always made the joke "I gave birth to you so this day is actually all about me" all my life, but as I get older, she has been saying it more and more each time. Today she has been saying it every 20 minutes since this morning, when I came to visit for the day. She has been talking about herself all day more than usual, about her life as a kid growing up in Italy, and I'm just tired of it. Am I an asshole for getting mad and just going in a different room trying to avoid her all day? I just feel selfish wanting a little bit of self importance for my birthday, because she keeps making it about her. My mom went on an hour long talk about how amazing she is in front of my girlfriend and I feel embarrassed. ###### | NTA, just because she birthed you doesn’t make it “her day”. It’s supposed to be a day to celebrate your life. ###### |
So my father told my grandparents that i got into a wreck for his self entertainment and to stirr drama as he has in the past to put himself in the spotlight, however i chewed him out for it as it went to far, and he is defending himself saying they knew he was playing however it took me 30 minutes on the phone to convince my grandparents (including my grandfather who is recovering from a stroke still) i feel guilty because he honestly not a bad person but damn if he didint piss me off. ###### | NTA, joke's are only joke's if people are laughing. That sounds like your dad is a sadist. ###### |
I’ve been applying to jobs for a bit now. Recently, I had a Zoom interview for a position in my town. The listing said nothing about commuting or going to another office.
During the interview, the interviewer said “So I know the ad said the job was in x town, but it’s really in y town. Would that be a problem?” That town is an hour and a half away from me one way. I would not have applied for the position and have my location range on the job site set for a certain way. I said “Well, yes. I assumed it was for your x office since you put that town on your ad.” They said “Yes but we wanted more applicants. I personally travel between all of our offices often.”
Good for him, but a 3 hour daily commute would not work for me. I told him I could work for x office if there was a position available. Interview ended not long after.
I went to the online job board I applied on and reported the job for being misleading. It was removed the next day. My husband says I overreacted by having it removed. I think it’s unprofessional to do that. Was I an asshole? ###### | NTA, jobs shouldn’t advertise as being in a city they aren’t. That’s false advertising. ###### |
I'm the eldest sibling in my family and have always prompted my younger brothers to remember important dates for our parents. Over the past two years, my youngest brother (29) has been living with a woman who has some strong beliefs about death and being in places where people have died. As such, my brother has drifted away from the family.
He has said some very rude and offensive things to me and our other brother and uses our parents as an ATM. I can't blame my parents for helping, as it is always some dire emergency like their power is going to be shut off (the GF has two kids from two other guys who live with them) or not enough money for groceries, etc.
Recently, he has refused leftovers that my mother was bringing to him for his lunch at work as the food has been in her house and is "cursed." These lunch drop offs were the only in person contact my mother had with him. When he cut off the visits, it broke her heart and she cried. My mom is not a crier, so you can imagine the protective outrage throughout my family, though we didn't actually go after my brother.
Today is my Mom's birthday. Usually, I would remind my brothers to wish her a happy birthday, but since every time my youngest brother calls, he asks for money and causes general disappointed heartbreak, WIBTA if I didn't remind him? There is a good chance he'll see that it's her birthday on Facebook and that will remind him to call, but if I don't, WIBTA? ###### | NTA, its not your responsibility. ###### |
This is kind of weird and I guess NSFW.
I’ve been just chilling in my room naked for these past few days because it’s comfortable. I don’t really do this normally. My mom got really angry at me and told me that I had to put cloths on. I told her I’m just in my room and I put on cloths if I want to leave, it’s her own fault if she comes in without knocking first (I’ve told her a bunch she needs to knock, she’s walked in on me changing one too many times..) and it’s not like I’m walking around the house like this. I feel like my room should be my own space and I shouldn’t have to worry about how appropriate my attire is. She said she doesn’t care and ‘what if there’s an emergency?!’
This is the kicker though: my dad hangs around the house exclusively in his underwear when he’s home. And I’m just like wtf?? It just seems so hypocritical to me lol. She never says a word to him.
I know this is super weird, but I have to know, AITA? ###### | NTA, it’s your room you should be able to do what you want, But you should at least put underwear on and that’s what I came to a conclusion to before I even read about your dad ###### |
I (24f) just left an abusive relationship in the end of February. I moved in with my family because I had nowhere else to go. I just found out that I'm pregnant and told my sister (20) and my mom. I haven't told the rest of my family yet because I want to get a doctor's appointment to confirm and to make sure everything is ok first, but today I decided to tell my brother (22). After I told him, he told me that my sister already told him. I super pissed at her because it wasn't her news to tell. I feel like she violated my trust in so many levels, not to mention stealing a special moment from me. She won't tell me who all she has told about my pregnancy and I'm really hurt. I have a very high risk of losing the baby and I feel like the more people know, the more it will hurt when I lose the baby.
Am I the asshole for being angry at my sister?
I apologise for the bag formatting. I'm on my phone and this is one of my first posts. ###### | NTA, it’s your news to tell. You trusted your sister and your mom. I will say that she might not have known it was a big deal to tell him unless you told her not to tell anyone though, so take that into consideration. ###### |
Pretty simple story.
My sister(23F) recently took my Tesla our for a joyride. I’m pissed for several reasons. She went into my room, and she stole the key. She also took my Tesla for a joyride without my permission. Nothing bad happened to it, but she always does shit like this. She’s absolutely spoiled and has no boundaries.
I was in the process of buying my parent’s house when I had the idea to kick her out since the house was mine. So, I just left her an eviction notice, and after I legally could, I changed the locks.
A couple of our mutual friends think I’m extremely in the wrong, probably because she lives with some of them now. Lol.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA, it’s your house and she definitely doesn’t respect you. You have every right to do what you want regarding who lives with you. ###### |
I(M18) bought a new-ish computer by myself after working my butt off for it, but since I had no desk in my room, I put it downstairs. My family (mom, dad, and brother 15) uses it like a family computer. Now that I have a desk, I want to keep it in my room so I can keep in touch with friends and play games.
I understand that they may need a computer for things like paying the bills and school work, but my dad has a laptop that he has used to do that stuff before. In fact, he was looking to buy a new computer before I bought mine, and stopped after I had expressed that I was saving up for one. My brother has an opportunity to borrow a cromebook for schoolwork from the school district. He has not taken the opportunity and instead uses my computer for it.
I just want to play with my friends and work on my writing in peace without having my family looking over my shoulder, but is it wrong to take it?
Any help would be appreciated, thanks! ###### | NTA, it’s your computer. It sounds like your family has other means of accessing the internet and should be fine ###### |
Just under a week ago my mum's credit card got cloned, meaning she had to cancel it and get a new one. She asked if she could use mine for the time being and I (18f) said sure she can use contactless, there isn't much in it my account and I trust her.
For context, my brother (13m) without going into too much detail has done some very questionable things that have led to him being kicked out of one school and suspended numerous times from another.
The issue comes when my brother needs a new pair of trainers because there is a hole in his old ones. The contactless limit where I live (idk if it's different elsewhere) is £45. My mum and brother are leaving the house when my mum turns to me and says "Can you give me your pin in case the trainers are over that amount". Now I know I'm not supposed to tell anyone my pin but realistically I would probably give my mum the pin, but my brother is standing right there and I really don't want him to hear it because it wouldn't be that hard for him to take my card and use it, so I say no. The amount itself isn't really an issue because there is enough in my account and my mum said she would pay me back, but it isn't really that hard to find a pair of trainers under £45 anyway.
My brother starts going off on one about how I'm selfish and he won't be able to get any trainers now thanks to me. My mum is really not confrontational so she just kinda stands there. In the end they both went and brought a decent enough pair of trainers for like 30 quid or something, but my brother's still not speaking to me and my mum says I should've just told her it.
I mean I'm legally an adult now and I don't feel like I'm obligated to tell her anything but AITA here? ###### | NTA, it’s not your responsibility to tell your family private details like your PIN number, and £45 is more than enough to buy a pair of trainers for a teenager. Your brother is just being ridiculous because he didn’t get his own way ###### |
To give some backstory, I was adopted when I was 10 into a single parent household. I was raised primarily by my mom with the help of my grandpa who lives with us. I am now 21 and have always identified as being raised by a single mother. My mom has been dating her bf for close to 5 years now and I am very happy for her. Last year, my mom and I got into an argument because she wanted me to get him a gift for fathers day. I openly opposed since I do not consider him to be my father, nor do I have a close relationship with him. I think he is an amazing person who is good to my mom, but he never helped raised or discipline me. I have barely even spoken to him alone nor have I had a deep conversation with him. In fact I tend to get hyperaware when I do interact with him one on one since I storta want his approval. Although it would be nice to have a deeper relationship, we currently do not have one. I am getting stressed since fathers day is coming up in a month and I know my mom is gonna want me to get him a gift since she has already started to mention it. Last year my mom got angry at me when I just got him a funny/cute card and she tore it up bc she thought I did not take it seriously enough. My grandpa said it would be considerate of me to get him something and I am confused as to why? My mom said that he has always wanted a child but I am honestly confused as to why she feels so strongly about this. In my opinion, I do not consider him to be any sort of father figure. I feel like I should just such it up and get him something, but I just feel like they are not taking my feelings into consideration. Tbh if I should be getting anyone a father's day gift, it should be my grandpa since I actually consider to be a sort of father figure in my life. ###### | NTA, it’s Father’s Day, not “mom’s nice boyfriend of five years” day. ###### |
I'll try to keep this short. Me and my long-time girlfriend live together in Florida. My girlfriend is Irish and I am American. I normally fly an American flag in our lawn because I think it looks nice and ties the house together with a dash of 'murican patriotism. Sometimes I fly the Irish flag below the American flag.
I'm not trying to politicize this post so suffice it to say that recent events have prompted me to think it was a good idea to maybe just fly the Irish flag for a little while. So I did, Irish flag goes up and our neighbor from a few houses down knocks on our door in the late afternoon. He inquires about the lack of American flag on my pole and tell him I just feel a little bit Irish today, trying to keep things lighthearted.
We've had a few minor run-ins before. He's made some questionable comments about having a threesome since me and my girlfriend are both women and we've used the non-emergency line a few times on him when he gets drunk and starts hollering and making a racket in the wee hours of the morning. Minor mutual dislike on both ends here.
Bob (neighbor) tells me that it's disrespectful to fly any other flag on the top of the staff other than the American flag while on American soil. I tell him that this is my property and any flag I like will fly on the top of the staff whilst on my soil. He huffs away. Our neighborhood is nosy so I got 2 other visits from neighbors that day. One lady who accused me of being "insubordinate" and fake-politely asking me to put the American flag back up and one of my friends who decided to come over and tell me how me and my girlfriend were essentially the juicy new gossip. Fantastic.
Honestly I think this is all pretty stupid and I'm surprised it's become as big of a deal as it has. I suspect that our neighbors are getting bored. Obviously me and my girlfriend have one view of the situation but I'm curious to know what Reddit thinks about all this. AITA? ###### | NTA, it's your garden. Hardly like its an ISIS flag is it ###### |
For clarity, I live in the UK. In the UK we are allowed to apply for five universities based on predicted grades, then narrow it down to two later on depending on your offers. If you meet the required grades for those offers, then you choose the university.
I'm at the phase just before applying. I've been lucky enough to get the predicted grades to apply wherever I want. The problem comes with outside influence. I want particularly to go to a specific uni in Scotland; the buildings and town and course all seem like exactly what I want. Truly, this place is WONDERFUL and I haven't seen any information that would prevent me for choosing it. Also, the distance would allow me to remove myself from toxic friends and mean I don't have to listen to four siblings and two parents yelling at each other whilst I work.
However, my parents don't want me to apply at all. I live in London so whenever I mention this university they always talk about how selfish I am for wanting to move so far away, how I'd be throwing my future away and how I'm severly limiting myself. Furthermore, I'd like to add that the universities they want me to apply to has the exact same grade requirements as where I want to go, but it has more 'reputation'. They're also all in commuting distance of my house. I haven't said that I wouldn't apply to my parents choice, but I know if I get in it will basically be constant pressure until I accept.
I've assured my family that I'll come home in the holidays, that I'll facetime them all the time and that I find the course there really fascinating, but they refuse to listen.
AITA? ###### | NTA, it's your future. University is a long commitment, and you don't want to go somewhere which won't make you happy. ###### |
For context: my laptop was originally given to my mother but she had no interest in it so she gave it to me. I've had it for almost 8 or 9 years. My sister was gifted the laptop she has when she was a teenager and has had it for over a decade. She is also older by 9 years, so 26rn and i'm 17.
A month in quarantine, my sister had asked me to borrow my laptop. I agreed, as long as she gave it back by X hour so i could watch a movie (MHA for those interested). Giving national exams this June, it was extremely hard to find some free time and that was my first day off. I had planned this night for a week!
I had assumed that it was something related to her college since she insisted on not telling me, my bad on this one. That's why i had agreed as hers is old. But NOPE. Turns out, she wanted was to check the size of SIMS so she could download it to her own laptop later. fine. I didn't like it but she said that's all she wanted so again i kept my cool
But her PC couldn't hold the game. she then turned to me and claimed my laptop as her gaming one. I instantly told her that she can't do that and grabbed my laptop from her and procceeded to yell at her.
When mom intervened, to my shock, she tried to defend my sister!! I have to spend long hours on my computer for classes and studying. I barely have any time off and those rare moments of free time; i want to spend them doing something i like! My sister was literally throwing a tantrum over it.
I was furious with both of them. Had i done something like this, they would have cut my head off yet my mom wasn't on my side when she would have for my sister! My mom is a great, but she sometimes pulls this stuff. I wouldn't even care about giving my sister my laptop to play, Had she asked me first!
So AITA? Still not giving it for those wondering ###### | NTA, it's your computer. She is not entitled to use it. If she wants to play the Sims, she can but a new one herself. You need yours for school. ###### |
It's not a big deal at all and it has been resolved since but it left me unsure if I'm in the wrong.
My girlfriend and I both had our own Spotify premium accounts to begin with, but at one point she decided she didn't want to pay for it anymore, even though she listens to music a lot.
I felt bad for her, as free Spotify has these annoying ads every so many songs.
Therefore, I gave her the login to my account, under the condition that she listens offline when I'm also using it. You can't have two people online on the same Spotify Premium account, unless you buy the family package (which I didn't have).
Now today she started saying how I should just go offline whenever she's listening, too.
By going offline though, I can't go on social media either while listening to music, as you have to turn both your wifi and data off for Spotify to see you as 'offline'. My gf on the other hand also has an iPad that she could just use to listen to music offline on while still using her phone.
So, I told her no. I'm not going to have the discomfort of not being able to use my phone for other stuff while listening to music on my account that I pay for.
Am I the asshole for that? ###### | NTA, it's you account. But I think she means the offline mode on Spotify, not going generally offline ###### |
I'm (28,m) gay, and my friend, Sara (23,f) is a good friend of mine. She's pretty and quite popular etc etc and it got to a point where she had to file restraining order for TWO stalkers. I've known her for a while now and she's a good friend in general. One day she asked me about my type of man I'm attracted to. I told her that I'm attracted to people who's shorter than me, confident and funny. She said "oh! Just like me but with penis." we laughed it off for a while, but for couple of weeks, she keeps repeating that my type is basically her but as a man, and I'd totally date her if she's a man, which got me uncomfortable. I see her as my sister.
And during a dinner (this was months ago) with my other friends, we talked about our dating life and she told my friends that " OP won't be so lonely if she's a guy because I'm his type". I texted her when we got back home and told her that all of these "you're my type" thingy kinda makes me uncomfortable. She was confused and asked why, and insisted that it's true, she has all of the trait that I would get attracted to if she's a man.
I told her even if it's true its weird for you to repeat it. She said that its weird for me to get weirded out by this and asked me to stop assuming things and just see it as a joke. She later got pissy because "she can't even joke around anymore" and ended the chat.
We never speak about it again.
I talked about this with my siblings if I did something wrong and I missed it. Sister #1 told me that I'm overreacting and it left a bad taste in Sara's mouth while sister #2 agreed with me that she would feel uncomfortable too and there's a possibility Sara liked me. Sister #1 told me that I should probably apologize and just get over it if I value the friendship while sister #2 said that I did nothing wrong at all.
AITA? ###### | NTA, it's weird that she keeps bringing it up. It seems like she's either uncomfortable with your sexuality or trying to convince herself that you're interested in her but the only reason you're not is because you're not attracted to women..
Either way it's not wrong of you to shut her down over it. She sounds kind of self involved. ###### |
Ok, here's the story. My grandparents have 5 grandkids. Me and my younger brother and my 3 cousins who are siblings. The eldest cousin, we will call him Johnny \[30\], is a bit of a jerk. Since puberty, he has sort of blown off my family, never really came around for events - birthdays, holidays, etc. Even when he is there, he just sort of does his own thing and cuts out early.
Anyways, my grandparents are fed up with him and his attitude. He's not a bad person, just more interested in his friends / hobbies than his extended family. My grandparents are getting up there in age \[late 80s\] and decided to dole out inheritance money for the 5 kids grandkids - 10k each! However, Johnny isn't getting any, because they feel like he never cared about them or our family.
Now this is when it gets complicated. Johnny is a bit of an "alpha" personality and he's convinced his younger siblings \[26 and 21\] DON'T accept the 10k from our grandparents because they're just giving it to them in spite of him, to show that they don't like him and he's the black sheep of the family.
Johnny is now texting my brother \[25\] the same thing, who is easily manipulated and trying to decide if he's going to go along with his cousins and not take the money. Johnny hasn't spoken to me yet, probably because he knows I will tell him to take a hike.
I for one will be taking the money because Johnny is a jerk. I agree our grandparents tend to be petty and this act is probably more to prove a point, but why would I deny myself my inheritance?
So anyways, Johnny is not getting an inheritance, his siblings supposedly are not accepting it and my brother may not be either. But I am happily taking it.
AITA? ###### | NTA, it's their money. Johnny can fuck right off. It's his choice to not be involved in their lives, he has no reasonable expectation of getting a cent. Johnny sounds like he is just trying to bully his way into a cut. You should take it and be vocal to your relatives, your brother especially, about their right to the money. They made the choice to treat their grandparents well, Johnny did not. ###### |
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