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The title probably makes this seem like such a petty argument but to me it’s really getting old. So I’ve (18f) been with my boyfriend (20m) for 10 months now. I love him but there are times that I want to pull my hair out. These are those stories.
So, a big part of our bond is that we game together. Usually on our Ps4’s and it’s great, he’s my best friend. But lately he’s made a habit of joining my ps4 parties and grilling the guys I’m playing with. He mentions the fact that he’s my boyfriend like 10 fucking times in one sentence. The other day we were doing squads on Fortnite and some 9 year old told me I had a pretty voice and he FLIPPED and made this kid cry. And when I play games without him he checks my recent players and messages them, asking why they were talking to me. He texted and asked my *uncle* who he was and what I said to him because he wasn’t aware it was him. It’s so overbearing and so annoying so I got fed up and we got into an argument about it. I told him what I thought, that he was being overbearing and annoying. I feel bad about it now though, like I get it, he’s insecure because of his past relationships but fuck. Nobody is going to fall in love with me on my playstation. AITA for freaking out on him about it even though he’s just insecure ? ###### | NTA. He's controlling. Huge red flags everywhere. You're only 18 - you have plenty of time to dump him and live your life. There are loads of partners out there who would be thrilled to be your bf. His insecurity is not your problem. ###### |
My inlaws passed away 5 months apart from various health issues 2years ago. My husband (34M) & me (31F) have been married for 9 years and we have a 4yr old. He was generally a cheerful guy, But since his parents have passed away, he has been playing the victim card for every little disagreement we have had.
For example -
Me: "Can you take the garbage out?"
Him: "Can't you see I'm still grieving and not ready to do these things yet? Can you stop pestering me!!"
Things came to a head recently when he said he wished my parents were dead instead of his parents. I swallowed that comment as he was crying looking at a picture of his parents.
Now a month later he says he has never said anything of that sort and I'm the "Demon" who has such terrible thoughts about him. He is giving me the silent treatment now and says I'm the problem for not loving him.
Please help me on what to do. I can't keep saying sorry and groveling for no fault of mine. ###### | NTA. He's being a manipulative little shit; his parents aren't a trump card for him to whip out to get you to do stuff for him. It sounds like he's attempting to gaslight you as well by conveniently forgetting a really shitty thing he said. ###### |
I (F20) have been in a bakery course since September and every Wednesday we have an 8 hour hands on class. The teacher (M50) is a very friendly man, but his sense of humour is kind of on the edge of acceptable. He'd been making sex jokes about me and some other girls in my class all year, but they were still kind of funny.
Last week he called me from the other side of the room saying his friend sent him a video and it made him think of me, as a joke. I approached him and he gets the video out, everyone else was busy doing their thing. He showed me the video and skips through it. It was a lesbian orgy porn. I got super uncomfortable and froze. I couldn't do anything but chuckle in shock. I laughed it off, didn't say anything about it and went back to what I was doing. I know I should've said something then but I just couldn't.
It's been making me lose sleep since last week. I feel grossed out, objectified and my self worth has plummeted.
So today I decided to call someone at school who I trust. I told her what happened and that I wanted to arrange a meeting with witnesses where I tell him that he crossed a boundary. But she said she wanted to tell his boss and get an investigation started.
Now he's gonna get in trouble because of me, even though I wanted to give him a warning first.
AITA for reporting my teacher over a joke? ###### | NTA. He's been testing the females all year if he's been making sexual jokes. It's grooming behavior, trying to make himself seem less threatening (it's just a "joke"). He absolutely knows better. And reporting him was the right thing to do. ###### |
I have been working from home but my husband still has to go into work. I am a "sleep till the last possible minute" person. If I know it takes me half an hour to get out the door or five minutes to put on clothes and make a cup of coffee before logging in, I will sleep up till that point and give myself just enough time to do what I need to do in the morning.
My husband on the other hand prefers to set his alarm a couple hours before he needs to be at work (takes him less than 10 minutes to get there). Hits snooze a couple times. Then usually will go in for a shower, and this is really what I dont get. We have a jacuzzi/shower combo. He sits down in the shower, relaxes, and falls back asleep for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half with the water running.
Sometimes he makes it to work on time, sometimes he doesnt. When I was still going into the office our getting ready time overlapped so I would usually have to wake him up so I could get in and shower myself. Now that I am working from home I just dont bother showering until around lunchtime.
Today he needed to be in at 10. I woke up around 930 to log in and heard him snoring in the bathroom on my way to the computer. I went about my work, had a couple meetings, and around 1045 went back to the bedroom to get something, where I found him getting dressed. I said "you're late" in a playful way and he snarked back at me that I could have woken him up. We had a bit of an exchange, with me ultimately saying he was an adult and could get himself to work, him saying he'd remember that if it were me in the future.
This is not new behavior. This is his normal morning routine. He knows if he sits down and puts his phone down he is going to fall asleep. I've previously suggested sleeping in bed later but he wants to do what he wants to do. He has his phone in there with him so he can set a second alarm to get him out of the shower in time. I dont see why he should be pissy at me for not babying him. ###### | NTA. He's a grown adult for crying out loud. His sleep schedule/routine is solely his responsibility to manage and it's not your responsibility to manage him. Also, who the heck sleeps in the shower with the water running?! ###### |
Basically, I help organize a comedy club in our small city that donates proceeds to charities. Lots of comedians big and small come to perform and it’s become a big hit locally. It’s 100% a volunteer-based thing and not at all formally organized.
Once in a while we have amateur nights and even rarer we have “mini roasts” where audience members volunteer to be roasted by comedians.
Anyways, this past weekend one of our regulars is this 19yo kid with a slight speech impediment. I’ve gotten to know him pretty well since he’s volunteered with us before and wants to do things related to comedy for his career.
Well we had another roast night and he quickly volunteered. He got roasted. Some stuff was on his impediment but he laughed his ass off the entire time. His friends filmed the whole thing.
So not even 24hrs later I get a frantic call from this kids mom telling me that her and her husband plan to sue us for “ridiculing” their handicapped son. She apparently saw the video on his social media and without talking to him already decided to sue us for discrimination. I explained he volunteered but she said we should know better than to let an “obviously handicapped” person be the subject of “mean ridicule.” She said we had a duty and instead we trivialized/mocked his disease and suffering in front of dozens. She also told us to remove the video of the clip we have on our own social media pages.
I do feel a little bad. She talked at length about how they used to be in and out of hospitals when he was younger and how the comedians didn’t respect their pain (I guess she’s referring to the parents, not the kid). But at the end of the day we didn’t force anyone to volunteer and nothing was against his personal consent. AITA for ignoring this woman’s complaints? ###### | NTA. He's 19, he volunteered knowing what it entailed, and he enjoyed it. ###### |
A bit of backstory:Me and my step brother share a room, I am 17 and he is 15 and he HATES to shower like full on despises having to shower he is like a cat. He plays football, and works out a lot so he sweats and has a nasty case of athlete BO, I hate having to smell that and I think in the past 5-6 months he has showered once (we aren't having any sort of financial crisis where he couldn't shower he just doesn't). He's made the room almost unbearable and I pretty much sleep on the couch now cause of it and I put in a couple of those febreeze air fresheners.
Main Problem:I was in my room on my phone when he came in after working out, it was extra bad this time I was getting up to leave the room cause I hate the smell. He asked me why I was leaving and I said cause I don't wanna be in the room anymore thinking he would just drop it. I guess he didn't like that and came out of the room asking if he did something wrong, I kept brushing him off cause I really didn't want to hurt his feelings but he wouldn't stop pushing the issue.
Me:Dude you smell like shit. Take a fucking shower, I can't deal with the smell anymore. If you need help with how to properly shower ill show you or your dad can but you can't go on like how you are my guy.
(His sister got involved cause she didn't like how I was talking to him or something)
Step Sister:Don't talk to my brother like that
Me:Come on, I'm just saying he needs to take a shower. I am not trying to bash him but he needs one, he works out too much to not shower.
Step Sister:doesn't give you a right to be a fucking asshole to him
At this point my step dad got involved and sent them to their rooms and I was sent to the living room, my step dad was mad at me the most and said that I should have been nicer to my "brother". I told him that he needs to make him shower and smell better, I even said id help him if he did but my step dad told me to drop the conversation and never bring it up again. AITA????? ###### | NTA. He's 15 not 3 and shouldn't need to be told to shower.
Why hasn't his parents said something? ###### |
I'm a 13M I have a twin sister 13F (comes into context later) our mom had us when she was 15 years old and our dad was 17. My mom is now 28 and my dad is 30. When we were born our dad signed over all the the custody to our mom. When my dad turned 19 and we were 2 he was basically non existent in our lives. 2 days after our 9th birthday our grandma on our dads side contacts our mom begging to get to see us. So we go on a vist with our mom there and bam there is dad. From 9 to 11 was basically redo of a custody battle that was already over at birth. Now we are 13 our mom and dad hate each other but they try to get along for us and our dad takes us out to do stuff every Sunday. With lockdown happening that wasnt possible so we would face time and stuff. Today during the face time season he told us that he is going to get a tattoo on his left side that says "jazmin, jordi [last name here] 03 - 20 - 2007" now as much as I appreciate the sentiment I am extremely uncomfortable with this. But I also feel bad because he has been on record saying how much it hurts us we dont have his last name and he is getting our legal last names tattooed on him if he goes through with this. My father is in a lot better place then he was when we were 9. He has a steady job he can live off of and everything. I'm not saying he might regret it later. I just think it's a bad idea overall. Would I be the asshole if I bring that up? ###### | NTA. He wasn’t in your life until like 3 years ago. Talk to him about it and maybe say to wait a couple years so it wouldn’t be as weird. Good luck bro ###### |
Mom and dad separated when I (33m) was 3. He was in my life as an occasional weekend dad until my teen years. Started drifting until there was no contact by my late teens. He skipped my high school graduation, said he was "too sleepy". Didn't even invite him to my college graduation.
During grad school he reached out and we began having weekly phone conversations. I was genuinely excited, thought we could have a beer or something as adults After a number of these he asked me for $, I was a broke ass grad student and told him that. He stopped calling.
Fast forward 10ish years to the fall of 2019 and he called me out of nowhere leaving a voicemail saying he wanted to reconnect. I ignored it, I figured that the moment had passed. I asked my 2 older sisters if they wanted to reach out, they also passed. I figured he is either dying and wants absolution or needs $. Didn't want any part of it tbh.
2 weeks ago my mom calls and tells me she heard from a mutual former coworker that my dad had passed. I felt guilty because he had reached out and I just ignored it.
Without any way of confirming, I tracked down a cousin via Facebook and asked. I have no relationship with that side of the family. They cut us out when my parents separated. So it was an awkward "hi, I think I'm your cousin", she informed me that my dad was not only alive but living with her about 4 hours north of me.
Apparently she told people and I got a bunch of messages from cousins that I don't know urging me to reach out. I ended up going camping about an hour away from where they live this past weekend and when I posted a picture the messages went from encouraging to hostile. Calling me cold for not reaching out while being so close, apparently they told him what's going on so he is sad about it.
I am not really interested in having a relationship. I just wanted to know because not knowing is harder. AITA? ###### | NTA. He wasn’t in your life for a long time. And when he reconnected with you, he only wanted money. I don’t know who told you he died, but still. You do not have to reconnect with him if you don’t want to; especially knowing how flaky he is and how he only really seemed to want money. If he gets sad for a drift *he* caused, that’s on him. It’s not your job to pick up the pieces. ###### |
A few months ago, despite taking birth control and using condoms, I got pregnant. It’s always been a dream of mine to have children but after a diagnosis of some pretty severe mental and physical illnesses I decided not to have children biologically. This was a heartbreaking decision to make but I knew I never wanted to make a child suffer like I do. My boyfriend was aware of this decision and agreed that if we ever had children we would adopt. After I became pregnant I completely broke down, my mental health deteriorated and I cried as I scheduled an abortion. As soon as I told my boyfriend this he got angry, he was yelling and crying and begged me to reconsider. One minute he was calling me a bitch, the next he was telling me he loved me and wanted to have a baby with me. I told him that there were just too many reasons why this would be unsafe, I’d have to come off of many of my medications and would almost definitely end up with either psychosis or PPD. He started ignoring me and didn’t say one word to me for over a week, the day after I had my abortion he broke up with me. Now I’m living with my parents for a while and every few days a member of his family will text me to tell me that I murdered his baby. Am I really a murderer? I thought I made the right decision, but now I’m wondering if I was being crazy and selfish. ###### | NTA. He was willing to sacrifice you for the potential of a baby. You did the right thing for you and your health.
Also the fact that he dragged his family into it shows he may not have been the right long term partner for you.
Be well ###### |
So my bf (35)and I (31) have been together just over a year and live together. We have very different sleep schedules, I work early so I'm used to going to bed at 10pm latest. He likes to stay up and used to start work at 10am compared to my 8am start (I have to wake up at 6 to get there). Due to everything going on atm I'm working, I work for the NHS and he lost his job. Last night I came home from work and I was shattered. I ended up going to bed at 8pm and thought I'd get up at 5.30am to get a shower in. He stayed up late playing poker. Now due to my health conditions and the impact of sleep on them we previously agreed that if he comes up to bed after 1am he should sleep in the spare room or on the sofa or where ever because he disturbs me when he comes to bed. Anyway last night I get woken up at 4am!! He comes in and starts making noise moving the covers and I just got so pissed off. I screamed that he was selfish and what was he doing? Then grabbed my stuff and slept in the spare room. He came in and said 'what does sleeping in another from accomplish?' And I said I could sleep better. Anyway I wake up at 5.30, still pissed off and clang around the kitchen a bit and then went into the bedroom to take my tablets and slammed the door. He sent me a text message on my way to work stating
Thanks for purposely waking me up... now I'll only get three hours sleep today
I mean.. come on!! He's not doing anything all day, he can sleep as long as he wants!! I was deliberately loud so he could understand where I'm coming from. If I'm tired and don't do my job properly people could get hurt or die if I make a mistake. Not to mention I could get ill again and end up seriously ill.
I feel that he's in the wrong and that he's not valuing my health, my job or wellbeing.
He thinks I'm out of line cos I woke him up at 7am.. ###### | NTA. He was rude and inconsiderate af and I’m fairly certainly he’ll be okay for one day on little sleep doing...what sounds like nothing.
(Though I do think yall should have a calm sit down where you go over the previously negotiated boundary [of sleeping in the other room after X time]. Quarantine has made for some anxious and testy bedfellows so it can’t hurt to calmly discuss this and reinforce its necessity after you both have calmed down a bit.) ###### |
I don't have a relationship with my biological father. He left her when she got pregnant and never acknowledged that he had a child, always saying she was lying. She did prove paternity in court and got an order for child support. At the time at least, he had a job making well over 6 figures that was handed to him by his parents as well as rental properties, so the ordered amount was pretty high. He refused to pay it at all and somehow got away with it. My mother has died and I'm her only child. He's never had a relationship with me, and in this matter, I wanted justice for my mother.
While I couldn't independently sue for that back child support, I could essentially sue on behalf of her estate. I won, and he owed me almost $350,000, plus my legal fees. He cried poor, but the judgment was paid almost immediately, so either he was not, or his parents bailed him out.
I've seen his wife's social media, and she's posting about "bastards wanting a payday" and other tears. Some of my friends and family think that I shouldn't have just used the legal system to get money that wasn't technically mine. AITA? ###### | NTA. He was legally responsible for that debt. All you did was make sure he had to fulfill his obligation. ###### |
We had a staff meeting via zoom few hours ago.
One of our coworkers was in the “protests” and was joining the meeting from there, I tried to ignore the loud noises behind him.
Then in the middle of the meeting, he turned off the front camera and switched it to the back camera and started streaming what was going on behind him in the protest.
I told him this was very unprofessional and he will be getting into big trouble and let’s hope he doesn’t lose his job for what he did and then kicked him out.
AITA reddit? ###### | Nta. He was being rude and unprofessional ###### |
This week restrictions lifted in my area for the virus and my sister’s boyfriend visited my family for the first time for dinner. He knew who I was, but apparently my sister never mentioned that I’m disabled. When I meet new people, I’m fine with certain questions. I pretty much expect it. But the first thing that exited his mouth as he saw me was “Shit, what happened to you?” And phrased like that it’s just a bit disrespectful. Oh well, some people have weird reactions and I figured he was just surprised.
After that, the pre-dinner conversation goes smoothly. He’s respectful and polite to my parents. Then dinner comes out. I use a special grip for utensils because my grip strength is pretty weak. Sister’s bf immediately questions it, asking “Can you not do anything normally?” Which, again, is just not a particularly respectful way to ask. I respond by saying that I still managed to graduate high school and have a boyfriend of my own. Sister’s boyfriend nodded and went back to dinner. Then everything was fine until dessert. My mom and sister went back to get things from the kitchen, my dad went to use the bathroom, and sister’s boyfriend looked at me and asked if I “can still fuck”. At that point I was pretty fed up. I’m fine with questions but there’s a time and a place, and a level of appropriateness and respect that’s good to maintain imo. And at that point I was incredibly annoyed so I left the table and went to my room, staying there until he left.
Afterwards, I explained what happened to my sister but she told me I ruined the night by abandoning them and claimed that he wouldn’t ever say anything like that. She’s now refusing to speak to me, saying I completely ruined his first impression. But honestly I think he ruined it by himself. Still, I understand why just up and leaving could be considered inconsiderate. ###### | NTA. He waited until everyone else left so he could ask, so he knew it was inappropriate. Sorry your sister is refusing to believe it. ###### |
Not necessarily a relationship post but involves an ex. I’m wondering how I handled the situation.
My ex (23m) and I (26f) broke up a month ago for reference. That’s not what I’m asking about. We agreed to be friends.
I invited my ex to my birthday party. The party wasn’t huge, because of coronavirus restrictions, so I only invited my closest friends. My ex and I didn’t talk much after the breakup but I did call him to invite him.
The party was going well, we were all drinking, having fun, and then I noticed a friend of mine step out for some air. I’m quite introverted, so I like one on one conversation more than group settings. I wanted to talk to my friend one on one and get away from the party, so I stepped out too. I got only one minute with my friend when my ex walked out and started chatting me and my friend up. My friend went back inside and stuck me alone with me ex.
My ex started talking about the breakup, so I was already very uncomfortable to begin with, but then he started rubbing it in my face that he’s seeing someone. All I could muster up is “this is awkward.” His response? “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”
I’m livid. I turned around and stormed back into the house, left him outside and broke down crying in front of everybody. I told my friends that I didn’t want him at my party and a couple friends drove him home.
I spent the rest of my party crying. After the party I sent him a text message saying “You shouldn’t have told me you were dating someone. I’m still hurting from the breakup. I honestly don’t care what you do with your love life, but to rub it in my face is very mean. I don’t want you in my life anymore.”
It felt so right in the moment but I feel I broke his heart further by kicking him out of my party and sending that message. I’m filled with regret about the whole night. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. He tried to ruin your birthday party. ###### |
Hello! Nothing too heavy here.
My (39F) ‘partner’ (34M) asked me, “Can I make you something for lunch?” I answered, “Sure!” He went inside, I heard him in the kitchen for maybe 5 minutes, he came out with... some lunch for himself. Then it went like this:
Me (kinda laughing): Are you serious?
Him: What the fuck did I do now?
Me (confused): Didn’t you hear me say “sure” when you asked if I wanted lunch?
Him: I waited for you to tell me what you wanted, and when you didn’t, I thought ‘fuck ya’.
Me: ... I don’t understand...
He got annoyed, said “there’s your lunch, enjoy” (pointing to his plate), and walked away, calling me a fuckhead.
I think he’s an AH, he clearly thinks I’m an AH. I still don’t understand. Whenever I’ve asked him if he wants breakfast, for instance, if he says yes but doesn’t specify what he wants, I’ll still make him something.
We were having a lovely day, I just don’t get it.
What’s your verdict? ###### | NTA. He took the initiative to ask, he should've followed up. He's being petty. ###### |
My biological father has been in and out of jail ever since I was 6. He went to jail for identity theft. When my mom found out that all the presents he had bought her were basically stolen, she divorced him and made him return the items. My mom didn't remarry. Despite not having a dad, it didn't bother me. My dad was released in 2018, and has been trying to get back in my life. I'm not going to lie, he's an asshole. When I let him back in the first time, he demanded I give him the money I've been saving since I was 15, roughly $1,500. When I refused, he spent it on alcohol and gambling while I was at work. I kicked him out of my apartment and he went to live with my half brother. He's came to my job, and slept with my boss who then fired me. With everything going on, I really needed that money. I'm sure some of you can understand how difficult it is to make ends meet right now. He showed up to my apartment the next day asking for some cash (the audacity this man has is unreal.) I cussed him out and told him he wasn't my dad. That my birth certificate may have his name on it, but he's not my father. I have honestly never considered him my father and I never will. I made sure he knew this too. Over the course of 2 weeks, I have gotten at least 300 texts from my half brother telling me how rude I'm being to our dad. AITA?? ###### | NTA. He stole from you and he got you fired. Worst of all he was never been there for you and your mum.
Maybe you can take him to court over the money he took from you. How did he even take it? Wasn't it in your bank account? ###### |
My fiancé bought his first bike a week and a half ago. It’s a manual. He’s just learned how to keep from stalling. He’s had a hard on about riding everywhere we go and he’s never driven in the rain or when the roads are slick. He wanted to go to his friends house about 35 minutes away to show off the bike. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that because he’s...
1) Not experienced
2) Not licensed
3) Has NEVER driven the bike in the rain
4) Is not a responsible driver
He left with the *biggest* attitude, told me he was big enough to make his own decisions, I was being unreasonable, and took the car. I’m not very knowledgeable about bikes and bike safety and feeling a little guilty. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. He sounds too immature to own a motorcycle. He has no concern for his safety or the safety of the people that he will share the road with. ###### |
I (f19) have been with my boyfriend (m20) for a year now.
About 6 months into our relationship I got pregnant, and suffered a miscarriage about three months into it. I was heartbroken but at the end of the day felt like it was fate because I couldn’t financially take care of a child anyways.
Well I paid for everything since I’m not on my parents health insurance anymore. *graphic* I had to get it removed from me because the fetus didn’t come out on it’s own, and the procedure alone cost me $600. Also the anti nausea meds, pain meds and follow up drs appts.
My boyfriend was hardly involved in the process and loosely offered to help pay, but I just declined because I felt he didn’t mean it. So I spent well over $1,000. Which is fine, but now I can’t afford a car and it’s set me back big time.
My boyfriend constantly spends his money on video games or things for his car. He offers up coffee every day for me and other things as well. HE OFFERS. Yet, in an argument, he threw this back on me saying im only with him because he buys me things. I was so shocked and I threw it back on him that in one of the most important times, he couldn’t even pretend to care and I didn’t take a cent of his money. Also I mentioned he offers those things up and rarely do I take them.
He retorted that those medical bills weren’t his problems, so that’s why he didn’t pay. I got offended because it takes two to make a baby. So I snapped and went into the other room where I’ve been crying all night. So AITA? ###### | NTA. He sounds like trash. People really show you who they are in a tough time, and he pretty clearly showed you his selfish ass. I hope you move on quickly to a happy life of your own design. ###### |
Going to try to reword this so it doesn't go against the rules.
My boyfriend has two preteen children, that are very big for their ages. We've been together two years and have had the same problems since the beginning. His kids love me which is awesome, but they're extremely disrespectful to me and don't respect my personal space. From taking and hiding my phone, to locking me in the bedroom. Finally my last straw was last weekend when they were relentlessly jumping into me, wrestling each other basically on top of me,trying to take my phone, terrorizing his pets, terrorizing me, while he did nothing to make them stop. He thinks everything they do is cute and funny and will laugh as he watches his kids rough housing with me, I ask them to stop and they will not listen to me. He tells me it's not his responsibility and I should get after them myself if I don't like what they're doing. I told him it's not my place and I'm not comfortable parenting his kids, I'm trying to keep a good relationship with their mother and not overstep and feel like it's just not my place to do this. I told him that I have decided to step back and stop being around his children after last weekend, that I can't handle it anymore. He is mad at me for this and has stopped talking to me. I have children of my own and always make sure they stay in line, are respectful to him and his property, and would never expect him to be responsible for correcting my children.
AITA for setting boundaries in this situation and taking myself out of the situation since he will not do anything to stop his kids from treating me like this? ###### | NTA. He sounds like he just wanted you to give up and let his kids do whatever they want so he could continue to be Cool Dad. Either way you'd be the one eating shit. His current silent treatment is part of the same theme. You cave, everything goes back to where it was with you and your pets being terrorized. ###### |
This is a pretty silly thing so I'll keep it (relatively) short, but I'd appreciate getting your advice on this. My boyfriend 'John' and I were spending time together recently and I was acting off (I was stressed, but he didn't know and I didn't tell him). He asked me if I was okay and I responded that I was, to which he responded asking me if I was on my period. I felt pretty annoyed by the question, and while I didn't say anything in the moment, I brought it up later. John explained himself further, telling me that his best friend (let's call him Paul) said that his girlfriend wouldn't get mad if Paul asked her if she was on her period because she's an objective and reasonable person. Moreover, John didn't feel like the question was offensive and was coming from a place of trying to understand why I was off. I obviously disagree, but wonder now if I'm being unreasonable and if he was just coming from a place of trying to be understanding--AITA for feeling like this was an offensive question and feeling upset about it? ###### | NTA. He sounds like an ass. Next time he acts off, ask him if he going through an early mid life crisis. ###### |
So my boyfriend has an ant farm, and I'm not sure how much he paid for them but the ants are also fancy, bigger than normal ones (I'm not sure the name of the breed though). The ants creep me out and make me feel itchy watching them so I normally wouldnt watch them or watch him interact with them when he gets one out the tank, but me and a friend were at his house watching a movie because he has a better tv than me, and he was in another room with the ants. My friend went up to go to the bathroom and when she came back she said she'd seen him at his desk, so she had a peak at what he was doing- he had a shallow tray of water and was using a piece of wire to hold an ant under. She said he was releasing it then re-dunking it. I thought that was really weird but didnt say anything, and I later told another friend about it who said he might have been testing how deep he can have a water bowl for them without them drowning, but that just doesn't make sense- why hold it under? why not just google it? Again I never said anything though.
So I started to watch him with the ants (subtly) and noticed a bunch of other cruel things he did- he found red ants outside and put a bunch of them in a tub with one of his ants and watched his ant get attacked and eaten. I drew the line when he put one in the microwave and confronted him, and he told me I was being a baby. I didnt get to say much else because his aunt showed up, but I was fuming at him. When he was sleeping I emptied the ants into a container and released them outside. I went home after that and he still hasnt called yet, but he'll be pretty mad. I feel bad because they werent my property and I never really had an in-depth convo with him before releasing them, and the ants probably arent native which isnt great either. I'd be extremely pissed if anyone took away or released my pets behind my back before properly talking to me first, but at the same time he was being cruel, so I dont know. ###### | NTA. He sounds like a psycho. Run. ###### |
Me and my father always had a horrible relationship. I'm the youngest of 4 siblings and have 3 older brothers. I was born with a learning disability so it made me a little slow and be less intelligent. My dad hated that I had a learning disability and he would always call me names such as stupid, moron, idiot, etc. He never hit me but multiple times he told me if i was a boy he would hit me. When i was 16 i came down with a serious illness that lasted for a month and my dad yelled at me the whole time for being sick and for throwing up when i had no control over being sick. He would always tell me i'd grow up to be a loser. He also yelled at me when i developed Bipolar disorder and said i chose to be that way. Once I was an adult I met my first husband at age 25 and my dad's reaction to finally having a boyfriend was "Surprised anyone would wanna date you" and he basically told my boyfriend that he can do way better than me. When me and my boyfriend married 2 years later he didn't congratulate me at all. 3 years later i got pregnant but miscarried what was going to be a baby boy and he apparantly said behind my back "Thank god there won't be another slow person in the family." Me and my husband divorced shortly after the miscarriage cause he had an affair and my dad said the other woman was better than me. I haven't been in a relationship since then.
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So anyways 4 months ago my dad got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and was told he only has 12 months left to live if he's lucky. My dad has at most 6 months left to live and i'm honestly very happy he's dying so he can't bully me anymore/ when he dies i will be very happy and i will not attend his funeral but my older brothers say i'ts disgusting of me to not be sad dad is dying (My dad was way nicer to my brothers and mostly i got all the yelling from my dad) ###### | NTA. He sounds like a horror to grow up with, it makes sense that you don’t feel sad over this. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Abuse of any kind can impact you in ways that are unimaginable ###### |
Still using this account to ask advice I don't want my primary account to see.
I have a cousin who is a very 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' and 'gumption' kind of guy (despite the fact his parents are well off and he currently works at my uncle's company).
Well my cousin was ranting and raving on facebook about all the people filing for unemployment right now and how they're all just 'welfare queens' trying to game the system. Well I know he received a stimulus check and immediately spent it on a 4X4 because he posted pictures after he did it.
So I responded to his Facebook post by asking when he would be returning his government hand out as he obviously didn't need it. Well my Aunt didn't like that so I was immediately called and told to remove my comment and when I told her no she yelled at me.
Idk times are weird and I'm growing to give less of a flying F**k what do you think AITA? Did I go too far in calling out my cousin? ###### | NTA. He sounds extremely coddled as well if your aunt's instinct is to call you and tell at you about her grown ass son. ###### |
Ok so for clarification my parents had been married for 40 years but unhappy for atleast 10, my mother spends 10 months of the year at her caravan home and 2 months of the year at home where my father still lives.
3 years ago they agreed to start seeing other people officially ending their relationship but still keeping the same living arrangements.
About 18 months ago my mother met a man she calls “Mr Spain “ as he claimed to have a few apartments in Spain that he let out as well as a property nearby that he rented out so was fairly well off.
They apparently fell immediately in love and wanted to get married so my mother rushed a divorce through with my father and married this man a month later (had known each other about 6 months at this point) we were still talking at this point and although I was apprehensive about this man we all did our best to accept him into our lives.
A few months later it all turned out to be lies, he had no apartments in Spain, no other house, he had some money from a family inheritance but many other lies were unearthed.
My mother was heartbroken and I helped her file for annulment, he seemed to accept but asked my mother to pay him back for the gifts he had bought for our family (over£10,000 total but they were gifts he gave of his own choice)
Before the annulment could be completed lockdown hit us and she was told it wouldn’t be able to be processed until the courts re open, during this time she started talking to him again.
Fast forward a few months and he’s wormed his way back into her life she wants to cancel the annulment and continue her life with him, I’ve told her I don’t want to not see her or her not to see the kids but I don’t want my family anywhere near him and I don’t trust him, apparently I’m a heartless asshole who won’t accept her choices, but I think I’m not being unreasonable wanting to keep our distance. ###### | NTA. He sounds creepy - a con artist at best. You have every right not to want your family near him. Reiterate to her that she is welcome at any time and you and your family would love to get together with her only. ###### |
This happened last summer but we still talk about it sometimes. My husband and I went away with his family to a cottage about an hour away, but I came back a day early for work.
They all decided to stay an extra day (so two days without me) which I was totally fine with. Apparently, my husband’s older cousin (mid 30s) would have to leave the day before anyways because he had already booked his flight and didn’t want to dip into his savings to change it.
My husband then went ahead and booked him a new flight on our points without asking me. His whole family told me how wonderful that was of him, but I flipped out because those were our points that we have in a joint account and we were planning to use them for an end of summer trip. He told me he did it because it’s family, but he’s honestly not close with the cousin (they have NEVER made an effort to see us, visit us, or invited us to visit) and regardless of who it was he should have checked with me. He also has a history of letting his family mooch off him so I think this made me extra angry. AITA for flipping out? ###### | NTA. He should've discussed it with you before he even offered, regardless of what type of relationship he has with the cousin. ###### |
Its late at night so I'm gonna keep this short.
Background: Recently, I've been constipated (really embarrassing but is important) Idk why, but I have been. I started taking medicine to help this, and this has worked for the most part.
Story: So earlier today I went down to the kitchen to take a break from Terraria (checking out the 1.4 update) and to have some coffee. I was making it when I overheard my younger brother. (His room is in the basement.) My brother is trying to become a Twitch streamer with some of his friends and was talking with his buddies. I mainly tune it out but a word slips into my head.
THE NAME OF THE MEDICINE I TAKE FOR CONSTIPATION.
I IMMEDIATELY head down, and ask wtf he's talking about. He's like "bruh chill," while I'm furious that he's talking about MY PRIVATE INFORMATION on stream. (To be fair, he has zero followers. That's not an exaggeration, he literally has 0 followers, but that doesn't change anything.) I explode but mainly stay passive. I spill some sprinkles on his floor but nothing much. I tell my mother as it's mainly her job to manage my brother and she goes nuts. She IMMEDIATELY brings him into a conversation. He realizes that he's in the wrong and comes up to my room and apologize with my mom in the background.
I don't accept.
It was only a few hour difference from when it happened to when he apologized, I feel like this is just another one of his apologies and he'll go straight back to being a jerk (which is what usually happens) and I get the impression that he's only saying that because my mom is making him. So I don't accept. He gets pissed and runs straight out and my mom kinda gives me a dirty look. So reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. He should not have said that information about you. ###### |
My wife's uncle is Islamophobic. I'm Muslim and my wife is Hindu. Her uncle has always been very friendly to be but also talked about Muslims are ruining the country and should go back. It is wierd but he doesn't see me as Muslim for some reason. I am one of the good ones, but every other friend isn't.
Recently he posted a Facebook message saying that Muslim men are trying to seduce Hindu girls. Apparently the reason is that Hindu girls don't smoke or drink much and have better organs. So Muslims seduce them and then steal their organs. His Facebook is filled with shit like this.
I replied with " I am glad you think I married 'wife's name' so I can steal her organs". He deleted his post a little while later. Anyway here wife's family think I'm an asshole. Apparently I'm rude and that is just the way he is. My justification is that he has been rude to me consistently and I don't need to consider his feelings any more. Unfortunately my wife is stuck in between.
So AITA? ###### | NTA. He should have thought that one through a little bit. ###### |
Last summer, I signed a one-year lease on a three-bedroom apartment along with two of my friends. All was well for two weeks until one of these friends accepted a job offer in another city and wanted out of the lease.
Myself and the other friend managed to find another temporary roommate for 8 months but this temporary roommate is now returning home. The friend who bailed on us, whose name is still on the lease (but whose rent was essentially being covered by the temporary roommate) is now claiming he is unable to pay his share of the rent and wants us to pay for him until the lease is up. He has not spoken to me directly but has been pleading with the other friend to a great extent and just tonight, this other friend called me a “bitch” for not having empathy for this guy who bailed. She feels that her and I should indeed cover his rent until the lease is up.
We are looking for another roommate to circumvent this problem but, in the meantime, AITA for taking the stance that neither of us is responsible for his share of the rent? ###### | NTA. He should have lived up to his part of the agreement. ###### |
Yesterday I spent 9 hours cleaning and organizing the kids (7f and 3m) bedrooms. I organized the toys, washed the walls, shampooed the carpets etc.
I absolutely had to go to the store today because we didnt have anything left to eat. I was gone for around 2 hours since I had to go to three stores to get everything, due to stores being low on some things.
When I got home, the bedrooms were a trainwreck. There was nail polish spilt in the 7 year olds room, all the books off the shelf in my 3 year olds room, the toy bin was completely empty... You couldnt tell I did anything yesterday.
I was upset. I made sure my husband didnt have any meetings or anything with work (he is working from home) and could keep an eye on the kids. He brought his laptop into the living room so he could multitask. He said he could handle everything.
He is the AITA part. I told him he is going to help the kids clean up and I am not doing a thing to contribute to cleaning it. He said he got an unexpected phone call and had to deal with it. It took longer than he expected. He claims he forgot to check on them.
Am I TA for not helping them clean up? ###### | NTA. He should have delayed his phone call. Your daughter is old enough to know about making and cleaning messes. She should be the one to clean it, and your husband should be the one to make sure she does. ###### |
This happened last summer but we still talk about it sometimes. My husband and I went away with his family to a cottage about an hour away, but I came back a day early for work.
They all decided to stay an extra day (so two days without me) which I was totally fine with. Apparently, my husband’s older cousin (mid 30s) would have to leave the day before anyways because he had already booked his flight and didn’t want to dip into his savings to change it.
My husband then went ahead and booked him a new flight on our points without asking me. His whole family told me how wonderful that was of him, but I flipped out because those were our points that we have in a joint account and we were planning to use them for an end of summer trip. He told me he did it because it’s family, but he’s honestly not close with the cousin (they have NEVER made an effort to see us, visit us, or invited us to visit) and regardless of who it was he should have checked with me. He also has a history of letting his family mooch off him so I think this made me extra angry. AITA for flipping out? ###### | NTA. He should have asked you before using your shared points. Especially because you both had plans for them. ###### |
My (18f) boyfriend (21m) has been struggling with money recently due to quarantine. His hours at work were cut so he’s having trouble keeping up with rent and bills. Recently, my parents offered to help him. He was reluctant to accept help at first but eventually accepted $400 and was able to get through the month with that extra money.
Now, 2 weeks later he’s asking for $350 more. He’s saying he’ll pay it back to my parents, but what irks me is he’s asking for this money so he can change the exhaust on his car to make it louder. I completely blew up at him because in my eyes he’s taking advantage of my parents’ generosity and asking me to lie to them if they ask what he’s spending it on, as he knows they wouldn’t give him the money if they knew he was spending it on something he didn’t really need. His argument is that he’s going to pay the money back, so it shouldn’t matter.
AITA? ###### | NTA. He should focus on paying back the $400 first. These are financially tough times on everyone imo ###### |
For as long as I can remember, my boyfriend has always been a very egotistical, competitive person. I’m 23 and he’s 22
It’s actually gotten to the point that I hate playing any type of game with him because he absolutely loses his shit when I beat him claiming that I cheated and the game is a load of “bullshit”
He absolutely refuses to admit that I’m better than him at something and goes out of his way to prove that he is in fact better. If he fails, he goes in a strop saying that it’s “fucking shit anyway”
He is normally a very sweet, caring person but this is the one thing I have an issue with.
Well, a couple of days ago he was playing Red Dead Redemption 2 Online with friends, and as always he wanted to compete. So he challenged his friends that whoever finds a 3 star pelt first wins.
I’m sat next to him not really paying attention because i didn’t really understand what they were competing for and was just sat on my phone.
Well, the next thing I know is that he shoots you from his seat, throws his controller on the couch and shouts that his friend is a “fucking c*nt”
I try to start calming him down but it wasn’t really working and I eventually told him that he needs to get over himself.
His friends must of heard me say that because I hear his friends laughing at him through the mic.
A couple of hours go by and he finishes playing with his friends. He turns to me and starts berating me about how I embarrassed him and how his friends kept repeating that he needed to get over himself and that I shouldn’t of said anything.
Now he’s ignoring me and when he does talk to me, it’s in one word answers.
Was it an asshole move of me to tell him to get over himself? Especially since his friends heard me say it ###### | NTA. He should be way more embarrassed by his own behavior than by anything you said.
And if he acts like this about a video game, how is he going to act when something that is actually important doesn't work out? There are some red flags here. ###### |
I am on a family vacation to my boyfriends hometown so that our baby can meet his side of the family. I have been doing most of the child care as my bf has been working, partying with his fam until 4 or 5 am, and sleeping in till noon when not working..he has been pretty out of sync with me and the baby this whole week and it has been a bit rough for me to be honest.
I love his family but they are big partiers and I am not ...especially now that I am an exhausted new mom.
Tonight I wasn't feeling well so I was still up at midnight and he came in to say that instead of partying just out front like normal (the family all have houses pretty close by) he was going to a party offsite because he wanted to be able to make more noise. I asked him to stay (vivid concerns about the other party but also because I dont want to be here alone). He said everything would be fine and I shouldn't worry. He brought me the car keys in case I need to leave for any reason. He said he would be home in 2 hours but now it has been 4.
I keep hearing noises and feel un settled in the house. It is big and old and his family has been telling me all week how it is haunted. My baby has been waking up screaming a lot here but it didnt bother me as much until being left alone here.
AITA in asking him not to go and for being mad he went and now jas stayed out longer than promised? I know partying and seeing his family is important to him, but due to work he gets out here for a weekend every month and parties regularly. He also parties a lot at home so it isn't like this is his only chance. ###### | NTA. He should be just as responsible with the child as you are. You're both new parents but that doesn't meant the entire brunt of it should fall on you. ###### |
Before I start, I'm F18 and all the people in the story are around my age. Also, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
So, not while ago, this guy (M20 I think??) followed me on IG, and we had some mutual followers so I decided to follow him back. Soon after that I got a message from him saying he wants to hook up and a photo (dickpic). I immediately blocked him, of course. But because it wasn't the first message like that I've received, and I'm seriously annoyed with how some guys think they can do whatever they want without consequences, I decided to try something dfferent. With a little research, I found his mom on FB, and decided to message her. I apologized for messaging her out of the blue, and aksed (just to make sure I got the right person) if he was her son, with a picture of him. When she answers, I plan on telling her about the dickpic. She still didn't see the message though, so I guess she won't see it at all (probably because we aren't friends on FB and she doesn't know about the Message request thingy). But that's not the point now. Some of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because I did that, telling me I overreacted, that I embarrassed him and that it was not such a big deal.
Right now I'm not sure if I did a right thing.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA. He sent it to you without consent, that's a cyber version of flashing someone. Which is a sex crime. If he didn't want it in his mom's inbox he shouldn't have sexually harassed a stranger. You're under no obligation to care about some dude's embarassment when he's going around harassing women. Also, yeah, he absolutely SHOULD feel embarassed about doing something shitty. ###### |
For about four years, I had a 2001 Toyota Corolla that got me where I needed to go without many issues. It was my first car, pretty inexpensive and definitely reliable. I just finished grad school and I’m looking into getting my career started, so my plan was to get a newer car within the next two years and give the old one to my youngest sister when she turns 16.
Last week, my brother, who is kind of notorious for being a reckless driver, wrecked my car. Thankfully he was totally okay! The car is totaled though. I have to get a new car and as I’m searching, it looks like the I’ll be putting 500 down, getting a 6,000 loan and then paying the rest with the insurance money from my totaled car.
So here’s the thing: my brother is 100% responsible for this situation. He made a mistake and crashed my car. However, he’s a poor, college student who is especially low on money given the current pandemic. I feel like a dick asking for money towards my new car but it also is fair. If he were a stranger and had crashed into my car, totaling it, he would be held responsible and have to pay.
I definitely wouldn’t ask for more than the 500 that I have to put down out of pocket but idk how much exactly I would ask for from him. WIBTA? ###### | NTA. He screwed up when he crashed your car. It sucks he isn't financially well off, but the least he can do is help with the down payment. ###### |
Sold a second hand computer item, at a bargain price. Just wanted some funds to upgrade.
The buyer was a great guy, and we chat for hours on FB about retro computers. The computer part I sold him was incompatible with his equipment though, and I immediatly offered to refund him in full. I had other buyers for it, and besides, I could still use it myself up until my upgrade was ready.
I urged him to return it, and even offered to pick it up myself. Didn't hear from him... then about a month after the sale, he's asking me to meet so he can return the item. I refused politely, stating I'd try and contact the other potential buyers who were interested first.
But now wondering if I'm in the wrong here. ###### | NTA. He pretty much ignored you for a month and then suddenly decided that he wants a refund? Unless his world fell apart in that month and he couldn't contact you, then you are not the asshole. ###### |
I was contacted by a lawyer about a month after my ex died. He informed me of my ex’s death and apologized for contacting me so late. He said he had a hard time finding me. He then explained how I was still listed on his will as his sole beneficiary even though we had been divorced for over 3 years now.
He asked what address I wanted the check for his my ex’s remaining bank balance to be sent to as well as his ashes. He also informed me that my ex’s landlord could only hold onto his things for another two weeks
Since my ex still owed me a lot of money I decided to keep the $4000 that he had in the bank. It was less than what he he owed me ($12,000), but it was all I was ever going to get.
As for his ashes and his stuff I told the lawyer I didn’t want any of it.
But I do know my ex had three kids. When we were together he always refused to talk about them (red flag, I know now) and would see them maybe once a year all on his own. So I didn’t know much about them at all. Other than they lived in Texas.
So I told the lawyer that he had three kids, but I didn’t know their contact info or their last name. Just that they lived in Texas. I told him he could try looking through my ex’s stuff to see if he could find out more about them and see if they wanted any of it.
The lawyer said okay and that he would take care of it and that was pretty much the end of the conversation and I forgot about the whole thing.
It’s been about two months since that call and one of my ex’s daughters contacted me on Facebook yesterday. After a very short introduction herself she called me a bitch for just taking all his money that it should be theirs and that it was messed up leaving all his stuff to be thrown away. She said I could have at least tried to find them and that it’s my fault they now nothing to remember him by and have lost all of their family pictures from when they were little.
And that’s where I am now. ###### | NTA. He owed you money, and he left it to you. And the lawyer said he'd look for the kids. I'm assuming he probably found them, or how else did she know to contact you?
And why was the daughter is so upset about the photos and whatever else was thrown out, when she didn't even stay in touch with her father enough to know he died? ###### |
This is gonna be a short one. so i go to school with a guy thats obviously fit (sixpack and all the shit) That constantly says he's fat. I am ALOT overweight and weigh around 240 pound (112kg) and really hates it. today i just had enough and told him to shut the fuck up about being fat. am i the assholee for saying that? ###### | NTA. He might not be happy with his body but saying that shit in front of you it’s just insensitive and alienates you. ###### |
My wife and I have never really gotten along with our neighbors on one side of us.
My wife says the origin story is that when they came to our housewarming, I was cold to them and didn’t chat enough (in my defense I was with like ten people playing a board game).
Anyway, there is no fence between our yards and their dog constantly poops in my yard. I like dogs, but the biggest reason I don’t own one is because of the cleanup.
So I would mow the lawn, and gently kick the poop into their yard as I went. I thought this was a fair compromise between cleaning it for them and doing something silly like putting on their doorstep.
Because of this, we heard them loudly shit talking us with another neighbor right in our backyard. I was the bad guy for kicking the poo over.
One morning I was driving to work with my wife and baby son in the dark. All of a sudden, again, in the dark, the neighbor comes flying from the sidewalk into the street with his dog and yells “SLOWWW DOWWWN.”
Last winter I saw that his car was stuck in the driveway. I put on my snow gear and asked if he needed a push. He just said “nope” and kept revving his engine. Ok.
There’s more but this post is already getting long.
So fast forward to today, we get a used playset with a slide, swings etc. Now all the sudden they are in the backyard with their toddlers near our yard and saying “no we can’t go on there,” etc.
We basically haven’t spoken in six years since we lived here. We never see them in the yard just playing like that.
My wife thinks we should let their toddlers play on there, because they are just kids.
This guy has been a real jerk to me for six years, I know it’s not the kids fault but I just feel like there needs to be an apology or olive branch from their end as opposed to pretending it didn’t happen.
AITA for not inviting the kids? ###### | NTA. He made his bed and now he can sleep in it. That being said I feel like you need to put up some kind of a barrier between the two yards. I’m thinking something like grapes or raspberry bushes. ###### |
My husband is cooking dinner tonight. He told me to go for a walk after he finished work because it had been a long day inside with the kids. I happily obliged and went for a 10 minute jog. I got home, he had started dinner and the house smelled great. I told him this as well. He declared though that I would so not like it and I asked why. He was adding chickpeas to the dish (he knows I hate the taste of chickpeas). I didn’t say anything, I just asked if I could help with cooking. He was saying that he doesn’t like how I get annoyed when he cooks something I don’t like. Now I hadn’t said anything and I didn’t think I made a face, I just stood there and did what I could to help. I told him that it was fine, he is the one cooking and if he wants chickpeas that’s what we have. He went on to say that he could tell I was annoyed and he didn’t like that. I told him he is right, I don’t like chickpeas but I’m not angry or annoyed. It’s not the first time that he had knowingly used an ingredient I don’t like so I wasn’t surprised. I know if I eat around the chickpeas he’ll get annoyed, so even though I hate them I’ll probably just eat a couple. But he’ll still get annoyed if I don’t eat them all. Am I the asshole for not wanting to eat a particular ingredient in tonight’s dinner? He says I rolled my eyes and that I’m ‘visibly annoyed.’ ###### | NTA. He knows you don't like chickpeas, adds them anyway, and makes you feel guilty for not liking them. There's only one a-hole in this story, and it's not you. ###### |
So for the last 7 or so years, my two brothers and I have always shared a GameStop pro rewards account because it's just cheaper to do it like that. To make it fair, we rotate who pays the approx $20/year for it. This year it came time for renewal and my middle brother noticed that it really had been just him and I paying for it and my youngest brother never paid for it. I paid for it every two years and my middle brother paid for it the other years. So the youngest has been skipping out, but has been using the account.
We confronted him and told him that he needed to start paying his share. We let him know what day it was due and how much it was. Now in his defense, he does have a small child to take care of, but he always seems to have money to spend on other frivolous things like marijuana, paraphernalia, take out, etc so his excuse was kinda tossed out the windows. We told him pay his share or we're changing the number.
Last week, when the account came due (about a month later), I went in to get middle brother a gift for getting a promotion and they informed me that the program needs to be renewed within the next couple of days or it would cancel out. Rather than to risk it, I paid for it to renew it and changed the number. I called middle brother and informed him what the number was changed to so he could continue accessing it. Today I received a phone call from my parents fussing at me about how I shouldn't have changed the number and how he was going to pay me, and I should've just been more patient.
AITA? ###### | NTA. He knew when the date was and still waited. Then he had your parents try to fight his battles.
It's not too late for him to "prove" he was going to pay you anyway— once he gives you the money he can find out the number for the new account.
So if he really was going to pay, he has nothing to be mad about. He'll have the same access as always once he does what he said he was going to do. ###### |
Ok so I’ve been talking to the guy for a month or so, maybe longer, and we’ve made plans for a weekend before but he never texted back so the day came and went and I heard nothing. He said he was really sick and couldn’t let me know/forgot about it. I forgave him, moved on. YESTERDAY we agreed to meet up for coffee and I message this morning .... nothing. One hour before we were supposed to meet up he literally says “I’m at work” (that’s all) and then when I confronted him and got mad about it tonight, he starts saying that he has to work heaps because he’s helping his parents stay afloat, and they have no money and he’s working 70 hours a weeks, and he had to rush into work and didn’t have time to text. And then bringing up all the times he offered to come over at midnight and shit and I turned him down. He turned the whole argument back on me and I feel bad for attacking him but I also feel dumb for feeling bad...???
He’s the asshole, right?? Or am I being a bit of a bitch because he works heaps and I have more time off/don’t understand what it’s like working so much? ###### | NTA. He just wants to fuck, fam. If you want a date, you should probably find it somewhere else. ###### |
I got custody of my nephews when they were 4 and 6. Their mother and my brother were drug addicts and exposed them to terrible things. I put my life on hold at 30. I'm now 39. I did a damn good job re-raising those boys and they call me "dad." I am very proud of them. The youngest isn't my brother's biological child. They are amazing kids. I occasionally spoke with him, but wouldn't let him contact the boys because it would be too upsetting for them.
Both my brother and his girlfriend caught up in a drug case that went federal. Both got 10 years. Their mother is completely out of the picture. I have no idea where she is or if she is even alive, but supposedly she was released two years ago. My kids don't ask and don't care.
My brother got out this year. I don't keep tabs on him, but he recently reached out to me and asked me if I could send him pictures of the kids when they were younger and happier. He doesn't recognize them now (he saw them on social media). He says he regrets fucking up their early years. I thought about it and said no. They might be happy, funny, healthy, active and social kids but they do have scars because of my brother and his girlfriend. My logic is that as my kids must live with those scars, my brother should have to live with being completely blacked out of their lives. I have pictures and videos of them swimming with dolphins and jumping off waterfalls and scoring soccer goals. But those experiences would have been denied had they stayed with them. Plus I gave up A LOT to become a single dad to two kids at 30. I still sacrifice. ###### | NTA. He just wants pics of his kids looking happy so he doesn’t feel as bad about being such a fuck up. ###### |
We have been married for 4 years, with two kids ages 3 and under 1. I’ve been a stay at home mom by day, uni student by night and my husband was working full time but was furloughed back in March. Ever since having kids, and if I’m honest even before that, most of the housework has fallen on me. I’ve been saying things to him for years that I don’t feel he contributes equally and I’m tired of never having a break while he gets to come home from work and relax. Every conversation like this goes south because he takes it extremely personally and says I’m making him out to be a terrible husband and parent. I’ve told him that’s not what I’m saying but I *do* need more help around here. It’s been a very very slow progress.
Since we’ve both been home these last few months the difference in work is glaringly obvious. It’s not that he does **nothing** because he definitely does help out, I just do a lot more. Again I try to have the talk, again I’m met with anger. So I told him I’m buying a chore chart. He was on board with it. Then when I put it up and he saw how I organized it he got mad. I put every single little tedious thing I do (“wash bathroom sink”, “wash toilet”, “wash kitchen sink”, “sweep x room”, “mop x room”, “towel laundry”, “bedsheet laundry”, “bathe kids”, etc etc) and color coded it so my husband and I each have a color and we initial the chores we do every day. He said it seemed petty, annoying, and like it’s just adding more work but I just don’t know how to get through to him exactly how much I do that he doesn’t do. AITA? ###### | NTA. He ISNT doing his share as a parent or partner.
He doesn’t like the chart because now he has to face that. ###### |
Since March 1, we are at home because of the Coronavirus and since the beginning of March that my 17-year-old brother stays up until 8am playing video games and wakes up at 8pm, I understand that there it's nothing to do, it's routine, but he spends the evening eating.
He barely having finished his supper that he opens the fridge and looks for something else to eat, and he does this every 1 hour until that he sleeps. He has gained weight, and does not go out for a short walk or even to do sports in the
house. We all tell him that it is not good for his health but he does not listen to anyone.
I then ordered a lock (luckily our fridge is 2 doors) lock the fridge after the dessert he has eaten after supper. He is very angry and says that it is abuse but I do this for his good, I intend to unlock it after some hours have passed at least.
AITA for doing that?
PS : Sorry for my english. ###### | NTA. He isn't paying for food, he can wait to eat until he is given permission. ###### |
I (21f) and my husband (23m) were at my family's house for Father's Day this past weekend. We were having a conversation about the family pets, and I had jokingly said that I would trade my husband's 12 year old Blue Heeler for my sister's 4 year old Chihuahua in a heartbeat.
Without hesitation, my husband proceeded to spill some of his glass of water on top of my head. He did this once before in front of my family (I teased him about looking at a girl walking by in front of our car even though I knew he wasn't) and he squirted me with his water bottle that time.
I told him back then that it was embarrassing and humiliating, that I felt like a dog being sprayed with water, especially in front of my family. Yet he did it again in front of my family, so I maintained what dignity I could by refusing to talk/look at him until I could regain control of my emotions.
He tried to apologize a half hour later, when it was clear that I wasn't letting it go. When I didn't accept, my family proceeded to tell me that I was an asshole for getting angry with him and "taking it too seriously."
No, I wasn't drenched either time, but it was shocking and embarrassing to suddenly have water poured on me. So, AITA for "overreacting"? ###### | NTA. He is treating you like a cat that gets squirted for scratching the couch. Very demeaning. Does he treat you like a child in other aspects of your relationship as well? ###### |
I’ll keep this short.
I’ve worked at a restaurant for a while and there’s this one guy that usually comes. We’ve casually chatted a bit and have a casual relationship. He’s hot. I’m not. He usually comes really late, I’ve talked to him twice in the parking lot after my shift ended. He also initiates and carries on these conversations, I’m not harassing him.
I decided to shoot my shot, after work today we were talking again and I asked him out. He said no. I was fine with this. I was about to accept that and leave, but after the initial rejection he went on about how he just couldn’t force himself to be attracted to me physically, “you’re a very nice girl but . . .” and all that jazz. I felt a little hurt by this because he could’ve just aid no, there was no reason to go off on my appearance, I already knew he wasn’t physically attracted to me after the first no. I felt he was being kind of condescending. He continued to “comfort” me afterwards, saying he was sure I would find a good guy, looks aren’t everything, to keep my head up, etc. It was also really embarrassing because his friend was there and could hear everything going on. He looked really awkward and uncomfortable.
I went home and was obviously pretty bummed. My brother noticed and asked why so I told him and he told me the guy was TA. I kind of ranted about it to to three of my friends in a group chat and they agreed there was no need to list the reasons why he wouldn’t date me. At the end I calmed down and said I was over it, we talked about other stuff.
I guess one of my friends must have told friends and apparently he found out, he reached out to me on social media and said I was a bitter bitch. AITA ###### | NTA. He is suck an a-hole. Here was no need to take it as far as he did, and really who cares what he thinks. Really you lucked out here. Now you know he is a douche and can move on to another.. ###### |
My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) paid for a vacation in the Bahamas at the end of July. His passport was expired so I nagged him for months to get it since we booked it in January. He didn’t do it until the beginning of March.
Today he called me from work upset... he checked on his passport because it still hadn’t arrived and the website had announcements asking people not to renew passports at this time and that anyone who does will experience several months’ worth of delays. I think the process is already a few months to begin with so he was cutting it close regardless.
I’m PO’d because I told him to do it in January and it somehow took him 2 whole months to actually do it. My brother (20M) cancelled his trip to Europe because it was coming up soon and everything is still closed, so he has his passport and told me he would go with me if my boyfriend can’t. It‘s a resort with water parks and stuff, not a romantic-getaway-type trip so I told him I’d take him if need be and pay my boyfriend back his half.
My boyfriend is playing the victim saying I’m making him feel worse and not picking him up when he’s down. I was kind of short on the phone with him and didn’t really offer much sympathy, but I didn’t pull the “I told you so” card or even bring up my brother. Honestly, though, I feel like it’s 100% his fault for not doing it when I did in January so I can’t decide if I would be horrible for taking my brother if his passport falls through. So I’ll leave it up to you random people.
WIBTA? ###### | NTA. He is learning unfortunate consequences.
And the good thing is he won't be out money, which is the silver lining. ###### |
My SO is 300 miles away with his family.
We live together on a ground floor apartment. I spent the weekend with him and his family and he asked me to keep the blinds closed when I go back to our city, to which I agreed because it seemed reasonable given the riots. When I actually came back to our city, around noon I went to grab lunch and noticed that the neighborhood was actually completely calm, safe and sunny. There is a peaceful gathering by city hall three blocks away, which I even joined for a few seconds and felt no danger. I opened the blinds back up after coming back home, at least until the streets are calm.
Not long after, he calls me up, tells me that his friends have noticed that the blinds were open and orders me to close them again. I explain to him why I opened them, seeing how I have more information about my safety that he does, but calmly agree to close them again.
This should have been it, but he proceeded to talk to me like "I knew you wouldn't listen" etc., at which point I blew and started yelling at the top of my lungs stuff like "stop treating treating me like a fucking child, that I can determine when I'm feeling safe better than you can over the internet" etc.
He says "I will never forgive you for yelling at me like that. Fuck you" and hangs up.
AITA? I actually apologized for yelling, but he's not having it and doesn't feel like he has anything to apologize for. ###### | Nta. He is being controlling and having a friend report on you to him is weird. Also the whole thing about knowing you wouldn't listen is a huge red flag. ###### |
This is gonna be a short one. so i go to school with a guy thats obviously fit (sixpack and all the shit) That constantly says he's fat. I am ALOT overweight and weigh around 240 pound (112kg) and really hates it. today i just had enough and told him to shut the fuck up about being fat. am i the assholee for saying that? ###### | NTA. He is being astonishingly insensitive. He can perfectly well find someone else to dump his insecurities on who he won't be implicitly insulting with every word. ###### |
I (F24) live with my mom and we have a new neighbor (F45+) who moved in about 4 months ago. We do know her before she moved in and my mom is friends with her (they're both about 45+ yrs old) I actually really like her and she's pretty cool.
While we all were in quarantine (I stayed alone at home and my mom stayed with her bf) her son stayed at her place (he's 23)
They would invite me for coffee and if they baked something they would always bring me some (and vice versa) so it was pretty nice. The last neighbours had 3 screaming kids and It drove me insane so having adults that i can sit with and talk to is really nice.
The topic somehow came up and we talked about me being a tattoo artist. Her son got super excited and asked me if I could tattoo him, I said of course but once the quarantine is over. His mom got really upset and asked me not to tattoo him. She actually has 2 small tattoos and he has 1 or 2 that are kind of medium? She hates his tattoo and hers are pretty old and think she doesn't really like them anymore.(I offered her free of charge to fix one of them but she doesn't want to)
Anyway I dropped it.
Now we're here 2 months later and tattoo artists in my country got approval to tattoo again.
Yesterday he texted me he has a birthday tomorrow and he wants to drop by to get a tattoo and that he's also bringing his friends to get tattooed (which is amazing for me because I'm doing not very well financially due the quarantine)
I told him yes but I kind of feel guilty. I don't want his mom being upset with me because I really like her (I also take out her dog almost everyday) and I don't want her to be upset with me for tattooing him.
WIBTA if I tattoo him and without her knowledge? ###### | NTA. He is a grown adult, he can make his own decisions. I’m guessing that if she regrets her own tattoos, she’s asking you not to tattoo him so that he doesn’t regret his own tattoos. But I think that’s his own call to make; she can’t dictate what he does anymore. ###### |
I get food stamps. Not a lot but enough to pay for what I need and a little extra. Got a roommate a few months ago and everything was going great. Paid rent on time. Bought food and everything.
Now it's not so great. He doesn't buy food for the house he buys this minute microwave meals for himself which was fine. I still had my food. Well few weeks ago he lost his job and is supposed to start a new one soon. But I'm that time I been helping out by cooking a little extra and sharing what I had. Things have been right trying to pay our bills and food but not bad.
Well tonight kind of pissed me off. I had a late lunch and didn't feel like cooking yet so I was into my game and he rolls into the kitchen and starts cooking. And I mean actual cooking. I was kind of happy I wouldn't have to cook dinner ya know?
Boy was I wrong. I head him cleaning up so I got take a look and there's one plate LOADED with eggs bacon hash browns sausage and grits. So I asked where's mine and he says I didn't know u wanted any and walked off. I mean Not only did he use my food to make this meal he ate the sausages I had pulled out for me and him to share. I just don't know I'm so angry over this that it's got me shaking. So am I the Ass hole if I confront him about this tomorrow? Or should I let this go? ###### | NTA. He is 100% out of line ###### |
Basically, we both agreed it was not the time to have a child, as we’re both still in college, and not financially stable yet for a child. However, despite his immediate suggestion we not tell anyone, when the pregnancy was confirmed (his fear that a friend/family member of mine will convince me to keep it) I later found out he told his parents and brother. I am angry, as I am still coming to terms with accepting what I have done and I feel like he has broken my trust by telling this private matter to anyone. He believes he has a right to tell his family, but it doesn’t make sense to me why because he was more than eager for me to get the abortion and for me not tell my family.
Am the the asshole for being upset, and saying he doesn’t have the right to tell?
Had the procedure approx. 3 weeks ago
Edit: In addition to this, he is constantly saying I’m pregnant, commenting on my body, which not only makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me, as I gained about 20 pounds, which I felt like I have since lost. Almost daily he says he’s stressed or anxious I’m pregnant. Today I finally gave in and took another pregnancy test, (I am on birth control pills and we have not had sex). This for some reason caused me to get extremely upset, and feelings of guilt about the abortion.
AITA for getting upset about taking another pregnancy test? Is there something wrong with me
Edit: he has since told me he told them, because he needed money. (The abortion was already paid). ###### | NTA. He insisted on the secrecy because he didn’t want anyone influencing your decision except him, and in doing so, he cut you off from potential sources of support when he had no intention of playing by his own rules. You have every right to be angry.
And he’s been making comments on your body? No, no, no.
Have you confided in any friends yet? You deserve support, and it does not sound like you will get that from your BF as he’s made you responsible for his anxiety as well. ###### |
So for a little bit of back ground, Me(18F) and my friend (18M) who we’ll call John for the sake of this, dated back in middle school and ever since then we’ve had a rough on and off friendship. He’s asked me out over a dozen times even when he’s had other girlfriends and he still hasn’t taken the hint, he constantly asks for sex from me and I’ve humored the idea once or twice thinking he was joking. But apparently he wasn’t.
He has been dating this girl who we’ll call Jane. They have been off and on and throughout most of their relationship and I was NC with John for about six months due to other issues. But back to the story, yesterday he texted me asking for a handjob or a blowjob because he was bored so I asked him if he was being serious and he said yes, and I asked him if his gf knew about this and he said no. Then I commented that I had more respect for his gf who I’ve never met than he does.
Later that night I decided to say fuck it and used my friends fake account to text her saying that he’s been trying to sleep with me and that it’s been like this for a while. He then texted me frantically begging me not too and that he loves her and he’ll do anything for me to not tell her. Then he started texting my friend begging her not too. I don’t think I’m quite the A-hole here because I was in the same situation and I never would have known that my ex was cheating on me if nobody had told me, aita? ###### | NTA. He has been pestering you repeatedly for years despite you constantly saying no. He has also been like this whilst with several different girls. Texting you out of the blue asking for sexual favours is just disgusting and this behaviour is disrespectful to you and the girls he is dating.
If he loved his girlfriend he wouldn’t do this. He probably loves the sex but not his girlfriend. This guy has a seriously worrying attitude towards women and thinks he can treat them as sexual playthings. His girlfriend deserves to know exactly how much of a cretin he is, and he deserves to learn that actions have consequences. Accepting this behaviour and ignoring him has not solved the issue. ###### |
A little backstory:
I wanted to get a new gaming chair for my office, and I needed to get rid of my old office chair. It cost me about 130 five years ago, and it’s held up really well all the time. It’s one of those soft leather ones with arm rests, and it leans back pretty far. That part is important.
My boyfriend also has an office chair that he uses while playing ps4 in the living room. He bought it from a friend for about 30 dollars, and it’s not as comfortable or nice as my old one. It’s made of hard plastic, has some weird mesh for a seat, and isn’t as wide.
I planned to offer my old office chair to my little brother who just started online school, but since it’s nicer than my boyfriend’s, I asked my boyfriend if he’d want to give his to my brother and take my old one. He agreed. I asked several times if he was sure, and even told him we could always trade them back if he didn’t like mine, but after a couple weeks he admitted mine was way more comfortable.
Here’s where the trouble starts. My boyfriend is a pretty muscle-y guy, he’s lifted weights for years and weighs somewhere around 230. He also loves to lean back hard in the chair when he’s gaming, especially when he’s drinking too. A couple weeks ago, after having the chair for a few months with no issues, he leaned back and the arm snapped. It didn’t break off and he seemed to think it was pretty funny, but tonight he finally broke it.
Now he says I owe him a new chair because his old one never would’ve broken, and that I “made” him trade me. I told him that I never made him do anything and gave him plenty of chances to change his mind, and that he is the one who broke it by being so rough on it. I’m broke and in school right now, so I couldn’t really afford get him a new chair even if I wanted to, but I don’t think this is on me.
So, am I the asshole for telling him that I don’t owe him a new chair? ###### | NTA. He had time to think about the trade and accordingly agreed to it.
​
Don't give the old chair back to your bf since your bro needs it for online schooling.
​
The situation sucks but your boyfriend wasn't careful with your chair and broke it. ###### |
So i was spending time with my mom today and my best friend decided to call me. i had headphones on luckily so i picked up and she seemed somewhat off during the conversation. while talking to her she kept moaning and sighing more and more often and said her boyfriend was fingering her while i was on the call. she then abruptly hung up and i felt so uncomfortable and violated that i didn't really know what to do. i texted her saying it made me uncomfortable and she said "my boyfriend made me do it" and she was sorry. so i texted her boyfriend and let him know that the call made me feel weird and uncomfortable and that i didnt find it funny at all. he replied and said "well i found it hilarious" with an unnecessary picture of my friend in nothing but her underwear. i was disgusted with him and carried on with my day but was still appalled by their choice to call me. she called me a few hours later profusely apologizing and taking accountability for what they did, which i appreciated but i discovered that her boyfriend took her phone and called me specifically and put me on speakerphone while he was fingering her and the phone was out of her control. she defended his action and told me he was sorry but i told her that if he was sorry then i could hear it from his own voice. i am still upset with them both for her defending her boyfriend's action by saying "i think he's sorry and he was just trying to be kinky" and him for calling me in the first place and not taking accountability for his own actions. AITA for still being upset? ###### | NTA. He forcibly made you participate in his kink without your consent. That is never okay and if your friend was any kind of friend at all she wouldn't be defending such awful behavior. ###### |
Throwaway, mobile, all that jazz.
Tonight I was a Suspicious Sally and checked my husband's text messages from his smart watch. I see a series of messages to an unsaved number and while they're not explicit they essentially allude to wanting to meet up again. The weird thing is that it only displayed one side of the conversation, the responses from my husband's phone.
I confronted him and he insisted that he didn't know what I was talking about. I get his watch and show him. He shows me his phone and says they aren't in there so he's not sure why they're on his watch.
I pulled up our text history from our phone carrier and it very clearly shows sent and received messages from that number today. I searched the past 90 days (as far back as it goes) and there weren't any other matches (just today).
Then I Googled the number and it shows that it belongs to an escort. He says that proves that he's innocent because how could he get away with paying for it? And as for an affair, when would he have time. I manage the money and watch it like a hawk so I definitely would notice it. But he could certainly have credit that I'm not aware of.
He hasn't been defensive, just confused and agrees that it's fucked up and he'd be pissed if reversed.
So Reddit, AITA for not believing him/being suspicious? ###### | NTA. He easily could have deleted the messages from his phone not realizing they would stay on the watch. ###### |
Last week my BIL was arrested for domestic assault. He is out pending a hearing and is at my house because he isnt allowed near his wife for minimum 30 days. All day he has been whining about it and I told him off. He got drunk and threw something at her head and pinned her against the wall. He deserves what he gets imho. I dont want him here as we should be helping his wife and kids at this point not him but my husband is a softy about his brother and begged me to let him stay. I'm angry that he thinks this is all inconveniencing him. Husband says in being a jerk about it but I think I'm being fairly nice all things considered.
So AITA for not being more hospitable? ###### | NTA. He doesn't deserve hospitality. He did this to himself. ###### |
This happened on Valentine's day, but it's still on my mind. For context, we're 24/25 years old and had only been dating for 2 months at this time. We've since broken up.
Anyways, I had a pretty gnarly upbringing and as a result don't see myself having children. My boyfriend at the time was aware of my childhood. On Valentine's day, we had plans for the evening but were hanging out at his place during the day. We got into a conversation about our parents, and I mentioned offhandedly that something they did was one of the reasons that I don't particularly want kids. BF at the time was clearly shocked and upset by this and ignored me for awhile. He then...chastised me? That's what it felt like, at least, about ruining the day by bringing up such a sensitive topic on Valentine's day. We did end up going to dinner, but it was awkward and unpleasant because he was still cold shouldering me and clearly upset.
I ended the day feeling really ashamed and embarrassed, and like I was the asshole even though I didn't intend to ruin the day.
Was I the asshole? ###### | NTA. He didn't know you didn't want kids and you didn't know he wanted kids. It's 2 months in a relationship. He overreacted and no one should be shamed into not wanting children or forced into having any. ###### |
So I (28 F) have been with my bf (30 M) for over 8 years. Recently I’ve had Some problems with mental health issues and have been getting help for it. I’ve been keeping a diary to help me express what I’m feeling.
I’ve explicitly told my bf that it’s filled with private thoughts about myself and that I don’t want him reading it, and that if it’s about him, I’ll always come to him, but for now I just need a safe space to vent my thoughts.
It’s been about 7 months since I started writing in it and it’s help, but now I think he’s been reading.
Not only have I told him multiple times that’s it’s not his business as well as I’m entitled to some privacy, I’ve noticed that he’s been acting like he knows what I’ve written. For example
If I wright about how I don’t like how my legs look? He’ll start complimenting them the next day!
It’s been a few weeks and I’ve started to notice a pattern, but I didn’t want to outright say anything because
A. I’ve told him multiple times not to read my diary and
B. It may just actually be a coincidence
So to catch him in the act, I put in my diary that I was thinking of cheating on him, and I had a date that night at McDonald’s with some dude. Knowing my bf he would either confront me then and there or show up at the McDonald’s to confront me
I wanted to teach him a lesson not to read my things so when the time came, I told him I was going to McDonald’s. He let me go and when I got there I put a sign I made on the table that said
“Caught you” and “why did you read my diary”
When he showed up to the McDonald’s to “confront me” he got pissed because I lied to him and made him think I was cheating.
I told him that he also lied by not admitting he read my dairy. He’s now pissed at me and I just want to know, AITA?
TLDR ; I tricked my bf into thinking I was cheating so I could prove he was reading my diary, then he got pissed at me when he fell for it. ###### | NTA. He deserved it for reading your diary. That's invasive as fuck and he had no right to read it. ###### |
Ok so this happened years ago and apparently I am still dark on the subject so good people of Reddit let me know AITA?
I lived in a share house where all flat mates paid equal rent. One flat mate used the garage on the property to store his motorcycle (the rest of us had cars so parked on the road or in the driveway). Anyway one weekend I had organised a party and not wanting to create mess in the house told my flat mates me and my friends would drink in the garage... they agreed that was fine (and were invited to join the festivities) anyway the one flat mate who had the motorcycle in the garage said ‘I’ll move my bike out for the night so it doesn’t get knocked over”. All good wouldn’t really have been in danger but I get it. So he goes to wheel his bike out of the garage and while doing so smashes the brake light. He then says I need to pay for it as it’s my fault he had to move it. If I hadn’t organised a party he would not have had to move it so it’s on me to pay to replace the brake light.
I disagreed as we all pay equal rent so I have as much right to use the garage as he does and it was his decision to move the bike out for the night. He wasn’t happy with that and after talking to my Dad (I was only 19 at the time) I reluctantly agreed to pay for a new brake light.
Years later I still think he was a total dick about it and I shouldn’t have had to pay up. So reddit AITA for thinking he was totally unreasonable and taking advantage of the situation? ###### | NTA. He damaged his own bike and you’re right, you can use the garage as much as he can. ###### |
Just before COVID I movies into an apartment with someone I knew through a friend. He’s a really great guy and I pay half the rent, and as long as I pay my half, he cannot enter my room. This is just because I am a very private person, and is nothing personal against him. A few days ago I had gone shopping, and returned to find him searching through my files on my computer in my room, with my closet door opened. I ask him what he’s doing and he gets mad at me for having firearms (I had both real and airsoft in my closet) and certain applications and files on my computer. I told him that he couldn’t go through my stuff as per our agreement, which was written on paper and signed by both of us. He claimed that it was void as I has not payed my half. I pulled up my banking app and showed him that I had indeed payed my half. He got very defensive and claimed that he was not going to have “illegal items” in his apartment (All of my firearms were legal) or a “gay motherfucker” living with him (I’m Pansexual, he looked through my files and history on multiple applications and websites). Many of these files and web application histories contained very personal things which not even my family or closets friends knew, including alternate and private accounts. Currently I have no other places to stay, and have since installed a personal lock onto my door. He hasn’t apologized or said anything to me for the past few days. I told him that unless he apologized I would be pressing charges for privacy invasion.
AITA in this situation? ###### | NTA. He crossed the line simply by entering your room. ###### |
I was always chubby. As a kid, a teen, adult. I got rid of my scale years ago but my mother bought me a new one because she noticed I didn't have one.
I was 145 when I got pregnant with my oldest child (BMI was 25.8 which isn't terrible.) And 175 after giving birth to the youngest. So almost 5 years ago, I set a target to be 145 again.
Took me over a year but I did it. I was pretty fucking happy. Told DH and he smirked and said "oh I thought your goal was 132." I actually burst into tears. Told him that bothered me immensely and to not make fun of this because it's an issue for me and he knows it.
I was no longer happy with my weight because of it. It took nearly another year until I got down to 132.
Then DH said "oh wasn't your goal 122?"
So I tried but couldn't do it and it messed me up for like 8-9 months. Then I refocused, changed my habits and somehow accomplished it. I hadn't been in the 120s ever in my adult life.
He said "oh wasn't your goal 115?"
So I lost another seven pounds.
And then he said "your goal should really be 88 lbs." I'm obviously not doing this, but I also can't be happy about the 60 lbs I did lose, and that I've maintained this weight for over a year now.
DH says I "can't take a joke." I say "it's not a joke if you know something is a trigger for the other person and you say it anyway." And then double down. Repeatedly.
I really need some outside perspective. AITA or am I just oversensitive like he claims?
Tl;dr lost weight, husband "joked" I needed to lose more. Lost more, he set a new "joking" target. Then did it again. And again. ###### | NTA. He could MAYBE have thought it was a joke the first time, but after it clearly bothered you there’s no excuse for him to repeatedly mention a new, lower “goal” weight. He sees how this “joke” affects you, and yet he continues to make the same comments. Please don’t feel pressured to conform to any “goal” he sets on YOUR body. Your goal weight should be what you feel healthiest and most comfortable at. You’re not overreacting, he’s just TA. ###### |
AITAH I told my husband he was a dick for giving me a workout dvd
Okay, minor AITAH but... I’m 8 months pregnant & we are going thru everything that was in our new nursery. I(31F) asked him(36M) (husband) to go thru the dvds I:e tooons (those HUGE CD holders) of bootleg movies, porn, past boxing & UFC fights ETC. music too...
but he found a workout (golds gym or something I never signed up for)& he said ‘you might want this’
I called him an asshole (I’m in my 9th month of pregnancy & a little sensitive about my body) but I reacted & he told me it was ‘only for after’ but I was still hurt & I said some mean things ... AITAH? ###### | NTA. He could have asked IF you wanted it, if he had to say anything at all. ###### |
I actually met Dani all the way back in 2008 and I must admit I had a big crush on him. We were kids so what ever. I moved then I went back to home town to visit people and met Dani. We began to talk and strung up a relationship. It was nothing serious. He would come visit me and we would spent weeks together.
I also know the sister pretty well since she was also there in 2008. But she has a strained relationship with Dani. I like her because she is funny and we have had a consistent friendship since 2008.
So one day we went to eat something all together and his sister later pulled me aside and told me she found out that Dani had a girlfriend. He hadn't told his sister or me. Of course I was enraged and ended things with Dani then and there and spent the rest of my time there with his sister. And I kept being her friend. That all happened on 2017. He is now married to his girlfriend. Apparently Dani had a falling out with one of his old friends who told his now wife about him cheating on her with me. She texted me to know if it was true and I said yes. She was very hurt and asked me if we have seen each other since. I said no truthfully. She asked me why I am friends with his sister then. I told her because I like her. She started berating me. Later that night Dani texted me, apologized but asked if I could keep away from his sister. I said no. It has nothing to do with him. Her and I are just very good friends and we both talk more that his sister and him in a year. We spent Christmas and new years together. He accused me of keeping her in my life to keep tabs on him. Seriously? I don't care about him. I am happily in a relationship and his sister and I never talk about him.
Still some fríe ds say that they understand his pov. I don't see it. AITA? ###### | NTA. He cheated not his sister and she was the one that told you so you could end it. He can deal with whatever fallout between him and his wife but he doesn't get to decide who his sisters friends are. He shouldn't have cheated and this wouldn't be a problem for him. ###### |
My BF (30) and I (26) work in the IT industry. I work overseas (Germany) so we were in a long distance relationship for a while. We were living together so when I left the country, our place was left under his name. I send him money to pay half of the bills and everything was fine.
First quarter of 2019, his mom died and a month after that, his grandpa whom he's really close with. To make matters worse, the company he works for really sucks and his boss was a dick. He was so stressed out, he would rant about it everyday. Our video chats start and end with his rants. I told him to take a break if he wants to, since my paycheck was enough to cover both our bills. I asked him if he wanted to come and live with me in Germany, and eventually look for a job here. He agreed and he stayed at my place, with me paying ALL of the bills.
Last quarter of 2019, I got sick and was forced to resign. I promised myself I'll look for a new job once I'm well. We started living off my savings. After taking a break for 3 months, I decided to look for a new job but then the coronavirus outbreak came.
I told him to look for a job, but he says he's not ready yet. I just said okay. It's actually fine with me if I'm the one working but what I hate about him is he NAGS me every damn day if there's an update regarding my job application. I snapped and told him that he should look for a job himself. He got mad and told me I was the one who asked him to quit anyway, saying it's my fault that he's now jobless. ###### | NTA. He can't claim he's jobless because of you after you asked him to quit a year ago. He's had plenty of opportunity to look, and he really should be looking instead of nagging you. ###### |
I've been in between on the issue. I love animals so maybe that's clouding my judgment.
My close friend's brother is Autistic and is classified as high functioning. She's his roommate but will be moving out in June. They have a cat who is a sweetheart. When I sleepover she's my cuddle bug. Sake of the story I'll call her Fluff. For some reason her brother says Fluff is his cat but yells at her constantly for small things like sitting on the sofa, sniffing his clothes, ect. I was disappointed to hear my friend wasn't taking Fluff when she moves out. Her brother just found a potential roommate whose allergic to cats. They plan on giving Fluff away now. Her brother knows this but constantly tells everyone who comes into the house they're getting rid of her because she's a terrible cat. I try to change the subject or leave but he keeps saying it. Well now he's topped it by saying he hopes someone adopts her when she's in the 'pound' but if no one does and she gets euthanized he'll understand. I've tried to shrug this off and say it's his disorder, but the way he treats Fluff and the way he's acting was hurting me I snapped and told him Fluff is leaving for his new roommate, not because she's 'bad', she'll likely find a way better loving home with an owner who actually deserves her. My friend has scolded me for this by reminding me he can't help what he's saying and refuses to let me back in her place until I shape up. Was I wrong here Reddit? ###### | NTA. He can help what he's saying. High functioning autism doesn't cause animal abuse. Many people with autism lead rich, fullfilling lives, and those that have high-functioning often blend right in. They've just got a unique way of seeing things aren't them. It doesn't cause them to be horrible pet owners. This guy is simply an asshole. ###### |
My brother is big into activism, especially about racial identity. He talks a lot about white privilege and stuff like that. Fyi, we are Indians from Kashmir, and I'd say our entire family honestly looks pretty white-- pale skin, colored eyes (which is somewhat common in Kashmir/north India, I think), and hair that's more brown than black.
Anyways, he was writing an essay for the school paper, which for whatever reason publishes even during summer break, and he wanted me to proofread it, as he considers me a better writer than him. He has a line where he says, 'as a person of color, I've often felt judged for my brown skin'. This stood out to me, because *our skin isn't brown.* It's pale af. Like the color of milk. So I told him he should remove it. He asked why, and I told him, 'bro, you basically look white. We \[our family\] all do. Our teachers are shocked when they hear our names, so are our neighbors and everyone we know. Everyone will cringe if you keep this.'
He got defensive and started denying this, then stormed off angrily. I was just proofreading like he asked, and just told the truth to try to help him out-- he looks white af, and to act like he's dark skinned makes me cringe. And I think it'll make other people cringe too. AITA? ###### | NTA. He can claim to be a person of color all he wants but to say his skin is brown when it's not is something strange to be fixated on. He can talk about people's reactions when he says his name. ###### |
I know this sounds stupid; but hear me out. My (26f) husband (26m) works over 60+ hours a week, he’s in a second step manager position (he’s like second in charge), he purposely schedules it this way so his other associates don’t have to work 12+ hour days and instead he takes those hours to be nice to them because of whatever sob story they give him.
We have two boys under 3 that are missing and needing their dad, he sees them for maybe 1.5 hours a day before he showers and leaves.
His health is starting to get bad, he’s not eating much, and I’m worried he’s going to start getting ulcers or a heart attack from how stressed he is. Plus his temperament has been really aggressive.
He promised me that in the new schedules he would take only 40 hours, and work on his health and bond with the kids. And tonight he calls me and tells me not to be mad but he has to take more hours again because it’s unfair that so and so has to do more than their 8, but it’s somehow okie doki for him to work himself to death!
So I told him that I was really upset he went back on his word, and that it makes me feel like he doesn’t respect my opinion; he said I was being jerk and he’s working to support the family.
I work too and I can easily get more hours to account for whatever he feels we’re lacking on his paycheck, plus our savings is great! We could seriously survive for a couple of months on just my paycheck alone, we’d just have to cut our junkfood, buying movies on iTunes, and Ubereats.
Am I TA here for getting upset? ###### | NTA. He basically blamed you for his inability to keep a promise.
I don't make promises unless I know I can keep them. Sometimes that frustrates people, but it's better than making myself a liar.
Don't be too hard on him though, a lot of company cultures encourages this kind of behavior, he needs to realize there's more important things in life than working and money.
Right now he's missing watching his kids grow up, he's neglecting his family and his wife. He doesn't want to wake up ten years from now alone and then suddenly realize how badly he fucked up. ###### |
I (17f) have an uncle (17m). I've never viewed him as an uncle since he's the same age as me.
Now the little shit finds it hilarious to address me as niece whenever we meet and insists that I call him uncle. Family is very meh about it but mostly on his side. "You address your other uncles as uncles, why not him? He's your grandfather's son as well, he deserves that title from you just as much as Uncle X,Y and Z do". Except Uncles X,Y and Z are all around my mother's age, so 20-30 years older than me, not the same age.
He really put on the waterworks the last time, and now I'm really the asshole for making him feel left out by not calling him "uncle" and not responding when he says "niece". I've been disinvited from a few family gatherings because I refuse to bow down.
Well, in order to get on some of my family's good side I posted a family pic taken on my birthday. In the caption I said thank you to Aunties X,Y,Z and Uncles X,Y,Z. Except this time I put him as an uncle. I thought this would tide them over since captioning him as an uncle is easier for me than calling him uncle to his face. My close friends know my family dynamics, but the people I don't really know well? They genuinely thought we were cousins of some sort.
When I put him as uncle, people kinda went crazy. At first they kept saying I accidentally put him as an uncle and when I didn't reply he started getting messages like "omg is OP really your niece?" and "so OP's grandpa is your dad?", "all of your siblings are like in their 40s".
Yeah I basically blew up his entire friend group with that one pic. He's not talking to me and is pretty pissed. ###### | NTA. He asked you to call him "uncle". You did so. Maybe not in the context he was asking for, but he doesn't get to insist that you call him uncle in one setting, and keep it a secret elsewhere. Also why is it embarrassing to him if he is he same age as his niece? It just means that he is much younger than one of his siblings, and that sibling had kids at a relatively young age. So what? ###### |
Im m, 23, and im currently staying with my mom until I can get my own place again. Shes bipolar and on disability, and has been manic off and on for some time. She also has been having some paranoia. For a while, things got so bad that she came into my room 2 or 3 times an hour all night long, for multiple days. She had all kinds of paranoid reasons to justify this, such as a man's face appearing in her phone, people were out to get her, etc. I tried handling it as kindly as possible at first, but I have my own mental health issues and it got to the point where I was literally unable to sleep. So, I grabbed a couple of crutches we had laying around and braced my door shut with them to keep her out. Its literally become my nightly routine. In fact, she just tried coming in a few minutes ago, and it's going on 2 am here. On a Wednesday. Shes insisting that I am making everyone in the house "unsafe" by bracing my door shut, bc I sometimes have my window open and if someone came in through it I would be unable to leave the room quickly, would be silenced, and then everyone in the house would be screwed. I feel like this is paranoid nonsense, and shes just pissed that I stopped her from being able to barge in at all hours of the night whenever she feels like it. AITA? ###### | NTA. Having doors closed actually makes you safer in a fire btw ###### |
My daughter, 10 months old has recently started biting during breastfeeding. When she starts to bite, I simply tell her "no" and put her down immediately. I only started doing this recently because my breasts kind of look like a war zone- I'm bleeding and sore because of the biting and simply cannot take it anymore.
Instead I've been pumping, but even that is extremely painful until I let my breasts heal. Instead I've been doing a mix of pumping and formula. My husband does not like this. He was okay with me pumping and feeding our daughter until I started supplementing with formula. He believes that breastmilk is best and formula is the devil because it's not "natural" or something. At this age, I'm giving her milk around 4-5 times a day, and still attempt to breastfeed once or twice a day.
It reached the tipping point yesterday when he hid the formula so I'd have "no choice" but to breastfeed our daughter.
I ask him why he's doing this, and he simply says he doesn't think I'm not trying hard enough because I stopped simply because she's biting me, and that a good mother wouldn't stop doing what's best for her child simply because she's in pain. ###### | NTA. Have her bite HIS nipple and see how much his pain isn't a big deal.
Also, you don't need a justification to discontinue breastfeeding, regardless. Even if you just didn't feel like it anymore.
Edited to add: FWIW, my husband thinks hiding the formula was a scummy thing to do. ###### |
I've been there for about 4 years. I can handle the run-of-the-mill "are you fucking incompetent/learn to do your job/etc" side-handed shit from customers.
Several months back I answered the phone and the customer asked if "that one n***** was working because [they] wanted to make sure the food wasnt fucked with and made correctly"
With roughly 10 years of food service, I have *never* "fucked with" anyone's food (like spit or anything intentional or nasty). That shit is unacceptable to me. However, mistakes in the kitchen happen, well all make them.
Naturally, I asked them to repeat themselves cause I didnt catch it. When they did I responded (very unprofessionally) "well, that's exactly who the fuck you are talking to so come on down here and say that shit to my face." Not much happened from it, had a conversation about not talking shit to the customer bc then they can bitch and moan that I was rude, and while they understand why and would be compelled to do likewise, it just ain't worth stooping to their level. Understandable.
I said at the time something along the lines of "I agree and won't tell them off, but the next time someone refers to me or another coworker as that. I will be leaving. I'm not paid to have customers refer to me as that."
It happened again today, and they could have been referring to either myself or another coworker of mine. Either way, hung up the phone, took off my hat/uniform, tossed my money on the office desk, and left. Obviously incredibly upset.
I do feel bad for leaving them high-and-dry. But whatever shred of self-worth I have left, knows that shit is not something you could pay me enough to tolerate from a customer.
Am I the asshole for putting my friends and other coworkers in a tough spot because of it? Cause, yeah, it's an asshole move.
EDIT: My coworkers definitely understand why I quit. They are upset that I did, but they 100% have had my back for years. ###### | NTA. Hate speech like the N-word is not the same as talking shit or just plain being rude. Nobody should have to tolerate hate speech. ###### |
Hi reddit, I(23m) am a cosplayer, and i attend many local events. Anyway, there was one cosplay that I did where I was a woman(Brazil Escola), and I wore a ton of makeup and a wig. Because i already look pretty feminine, I looked almost like a woman.
I eventually saw my friend(24f), who didn’t recognize me at first, and i didn’t know that she was going to be here today. She told me that cosplaying as a woman was disrespectful and that that I shouldn’t have done that. I told her that she needs to stop being sensitive and i’m not doing anything wrong. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. Has your friend never heard of female impersonators or drag queens?! Let’s outlaw Rupaul while we’re at it. ###### |
I was babysitting my 7yo nephew and he wanted to paint. His parents bought him an easel and paint. All I was ever told was the painting had to be outside. We went outside and his easel and supplies were on the hardscape and not the grass, I figured that's where he painted.
Of course he got some paint on the hardscape, but I assumed it could rinsed off. I was wrong. My sister had a fit and asked me why I let him paint on the hardscape. I told her the easel was on the hardscape and assumed that's where my nephew does his art. She said it was always on the grass and maybe their gardener moved it to cut their grass.
She ended up paying someone $70 to clean of the paint and then handed me the bill to pay. I told her that she had a nerve especially when I was sitting him for free. ###### | NTA. Hand her a bill for $70 for babysitting and tell her it’s a wash. ###### |
Hello, I am relatively young and my first language is English so flame me if I get anything wrong.
Recently I dated this girl and everything was fine at first, I let her use my belongings (My drawing pad, hoodies and some other items) under the condition that I would get them back eventually. I never asked for the items back when we were dating because I didn’t really have any use for them.
After we broke up, I asked her if I could have the items back and she said sure, I waited 2 days for her to return them but during that period I heard rumours that she was planning to destroy the hoodies and the other stuff, I confirmed this from mutual friends and I asked again if I could have them back but this time she laughed in my face and told me that I would never get them back.
I didn’t know what to do after that so I told her I would call the police for theft, she told me to calm down and she returned the items the next morning.
I got called out for it afterwards because I apparently over reacted and scared the shit out of her, so I was wondering, AITA?
TL:DR
Ex had my stuff, refused to give it back so I threaten to call the police for theft ###### | NTA. Had she not returned the items it would be theft. If she was scared because of the consequences of her actions maybe she’ll think twice next time. ###### |
I have a friend, we'll call him Ted, who I have been friends with since freshman year of high school. We're both 22, and I have a younger sister who is 17.
For the past few weeks, Ted has been making the same remark that my sister is turning 18 very soon. They're not the worst comments in the world, but it's still weird to me. He used to make them in front of my sister, but I told him to stop. Now he just brings it up around me. Here's where the problem kind of really happens.
A bit ago, Ted straight up asked me if it was okay if he could start dating my sister when she turned 18. I straight up told him no. He got upset and said "Ok but why not? She'll be legal." I told him no again, and if he kept asking or even tried, I would terminate our friendship.
See the thing with Ted, he's never had a girlfriend before, and is always ragging on women not wanting to date him. So I'm fairly certain I know why he wants to date her. But my sister isn't even interested nor does he like Ted. She tolerates him because he's my friend.
Ted got real upset when I threatened to end our friendship. He keeps bringing up now that she'll be an adult and she can make her own decisions and even if she doesn't want to date him, I don't need to end it on something so trivial. But I don't think it's trivial. This is my sister we're talking about, I told him. And that if they were to somehow get together and then break up, our friendship would probably end anyways.
AITA??? ###### | NTA. Guys who wait until girls are "legal" and then immediately pounce on them are creepy. It's so normalized too. When I was growing up there were countdown websites for the Olsen twins, Britney Spears too I think, and there were similar sites for Emma Watson, and I think Millie Bobby Brown already has websites dedicated to counting down her 18th birthday. This guy has been making comments to you about it for "a while" and who knows how long he was planning to it before that.
"Technically it's not illegal," is not something you want to hear when starting a relationship. And if this guy is "ragging on women" to you, when/if your sister rejects him, do you really think he'll show more restraint and maturity? My guess is no. Your friend doesn't seem to take rejection well. And you seem to think rejection is pretty likely. ###### |
Me and my partner relocated temporarily for work due to COVID-19 to a regional town and continue to pay rent on our city house for us to return to which will be a week today.
My partners sister and boyfriend were offered the house to stay in for the duration of our absence under the terms they needed to be ready to leave when we return (is giving them updates on news of our return so they could prepare to leave by the time we come back) because they had nowhere to go even though they both have $50,000 saved and regular government money coming in. During the whole three months they have not answered one of my call but have answered my partners . It came to a head today when a week ago my partner queried why they aren’t answering my calls to which she said for me to call anytime, I tried calling her again today and low and behold she didn’t answer. My partner called them to inform them we would be back soon and to check in about how ready they are to leave and it appears they have only just started looking for accomodation and work and I’ve blown my top. I feel disrespected and I demanded that my partner tell them they have two days after we come back to leave or I would leave myself now my partner is upset with me.
Have I acted irrationally? ###### | NTA. Guidelines were clear, they had to go when you were coming back. You've been keeping them up to date constantly. I love how they've been ignoring your calls so they can pretend they weren't informed.
But its your place you are listed on the lease not them. They need to go, you gave them ample time. ###### |
Throwaway account.
For my grandmother's birthday I made her a triple layer chocolate cake. I spent all day looking for every ingredient so I could make it special and from scratch, because of how many layers it had it took me a few hours to make. When the cake was done I was proud of my work (I'm not the best cook) and I thought it was pretty good besides being a bit on the dry side. But hey I really did try to make it good.
Soon as I show it to her she begins to criticize everything about it saying I should have done it this way and I should have done it like this instead. She told me every single thing I did wrong with making it then saying that she should've made it.
Honestly I was hurt by what she said because I really thought it wasn't that bad. My family thinks that I HAVE to make her another one because of how bad of a gift it was and that it was an awful cake. I really don't want to do it again but everyone is making me feel awful about it for not doing it and I feel inclined like I have to do it. So, Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. Grandma can shove that cake up her ass. ###### |
My dad makes a lot of promises, but never keeps them and just says “I never said that” or something similar to go back on it. A little while ago, he told me that if I did the dishes I could have my Netflix permissions back (they took away everything above tv14) so I did, but he said he didn’t remember making that promise.
Every time before I do what he wants, I clarify in the clearest way possible what our deal is. So last night, he said that if I took the dogs for a walk I could stay up an extra hour to watch the rest of a movie I was watching. I agreed, but turned on the record option on my phone.
So the conversation was basically ‘So, if I take the dogs for a walk, I can stay up an extra hour and watch my movie?’ And he (annoyed) said ‘YES. I already said that didn’t I?!’. So I went for a walk, came back and he told me to go to bed. I told him what he said and he said 'I would never agree to that’ and told me to ‘stop lying’ so I showed him the video.
He let me stay up, but he got mad and said I ‘invaded his privacy’ and that ‘I had right to record him’. They now look through my phone and delete any photos or videos they don’t approve of. I don’t think I really did anything wrong, but the rest of my family says I should’ve just let it go and not made it a big deal. AITA for recording my dad?
EDIT: I love my family, and I really don’t think my dad is abusive. I think he is just bad at keeping his word. Thank you all for your support though. Anyways, I brung up possibly signing it on paper as many of you suggested, and he got annoyed that I brung it up again and walked away. I’ll talk to him again when he’s cooled off a bit more ###### | NTA. Gotta love that good old parenting when you teach your kids to lie and to never uphold your agreements ###### |
Since last week my grandma starter complaining that my room is dirty and unorganized. I clean my room at least every other day but apparently for her it is too little.
So, a few days ago I decided to go for a walk at the local park only to come back to my keyboard being off, my rgb strip mostly off with some LEDs flashing on and off and some stuff missing from my desk (like USB sticks) . I decided to go and ask her what happened and she told me that she decided to clean my desk because it was too crowded and dirty. Also she told me to be careful because something shocked her when she tried to remove the water she dropped on my desk.
I immediately rushed back to my setup and tipped my keyboard over only to see water dripping from it. I then went outside and told to never go into my room and didn't talk to her since.
FYI The keyboard was the Corsair k95 which costs 250$ where I live. ###### | NTA. Gosh I hate parents/grandparents/in-laws etc. etc. pulling this shit off. These toxic people need to learn to not to touch other people’s shit. ###### |
Hiya reddit, this is a throwaway account.
I'm 25f and my younger (half) sister is 22f. She's supposed to be getting married in September if she doesn't have to reschedule the date.
I was at my step-mom (sister's mom) and dad's place this past weekend for father's day. My step-mom wanted to show me the "mother of the bride" dress she ordered that had just come in because she was so proud of how beautiful it was. The dress was white and lacy and floor length. It looked like a wedding dress to me. I told her as much and she waved it off saying how that tradition was old and didn't apply to moms anyways and my sister wouldn't mind.
I didn't think this was the case, and took a pic of the dress without my step-mom knowing and later that day sent it to my sister saying "this is what your mom plans on wearing to the wedding".
My sister said she DEFINITELY didn't approve that dress and ended up confronting her mom. Now my sister is upset with her mother, my step-mom is upset with me, and my dad is pissed I took a picture behind my step-mom's back AND he's mad at my step-mom for trying to go around my sister's wishes. Step-mom is also upset she has to return such a *beautiful* dress that cost like $300 or not be allowed in the wedding.
I was just trying to watch out for my little sister cause my step-mom has done shit like this before. AITA?
Edit: forgot to mention step-mom insisted he dress was off-white, not white. I know fuck all about dresses but I know off-white/eggshell/cream is just as inappropriate. ###### | NTA. Good sister 😊
I also find it *hilarious* that your dad is mad at both you and his wife. It's like he doesn't know who to blame so he's just blaming everyone 😂 ###### |
Backstory(short version): My dad has been a not very nice person from the start, while he was married to my mum he would often take “surfing trips” in which he would sleep with other women. For a while he was engaged to another woman while still married to my mum. I tried to keep a relationship with him not knowing of what he had done. Recently he wanted me to block a number of one of his ex-wives, she is a nice lady and we don’t have a problem with each other. So I politely said no I won’t as I had no reason to. He then sent the following message “You know the hell I went thro, just a bit of respect for your dad wouldn’t go amiss. Till you show that respect then please don’t contact me. You need to step up if you want to stay in touch. If you want to keep in contact with your brother then I suggest you go thro your mum to contact him” I then got angry and sent back a message of one word “ok”. I have not talked to him since. All I would like to know is what I did ok? He has treated me as I would always be there no matter how bad he would treat me. If need be I can provide evidence of the messages. ###### | NTA. Good people don’t give their child ultimatums. No way. ###### |
Sup peeps, hope all of you are doing amazing,
Alright well, few years ago my parents were abusive asf. During high school we had this “ag science “ type of science and one of the requirements of the class was raising some type of farm animal. One of said options was a bunny so I’m like “hey bunnies are cute asf” so I went for the bunny. My parents had always hated animals so, then being them, they let my rabbits outside in 105 degree weather in Cali. (In a tiny 1x3foot cage for 2 fully grown rabbits) they started showing symptoms of having heat strokes but again, they wouldn’t let me bring them in or even touch them. Male bunny eventually died that summer from a heat stroke.
Once I moved out I took my bunny with me and got a dog as well.
Well, parents came to visit etc. they started complaining about just having my pets IN the house “that’s disgusting” “how do you live like this?” I’m like “ they’re trained, clean and healthy.” Mom was like “but the hair.?!” “No that’s disgusting, put them outside”
Back when I lived with them they’re excuse for literally everything was, “my house my rules, the rabbit stays outside” “she’s literally panting hard asf....” “I don’t care, don’t bring that thing in here”
So now my house my rules too I guess and was like “you want them outside? Cool, get the fuck out” she’s like “what?” I’m like “I don’t fucking know how you could ever think I’d pick you over them, you don’t like them? They mean a thousand times more than you do, either live with it or get the fuck out”
Entirely logical in my opinion.
TL;DR: kicked parents out of MY house because they didn’t like them being inside the house ###### | NTA. Good on you for sticking up for yourself (and your pets). I find it insane that a school would make you raise an actual animal at home, but it's horrible that your parents mistreated it and let it die. So not ok to go to someone's house and demand they change things, especially with how other living creatures are treated. It's the dog's house too, not your parents' ###### |
I'm (21M) quarantining with my university flatmates. 3 girls (all 20F) and 2 other guys (20M, 21M).
One of the guys, we'll call Sam (21M) looks like the typical "neckbeard". He's largely overweight, wears anime T-Shirts, unkempt facial hair and has spots
However, he only *looks* like the stereotype. He's not creepy or holier than thou. I've spent time with him and been to many parties with him, he just suffers from sometimes severe social anxiety and low self esteem.
Well, he went back home for something and I was in the kitchen with the rest of the flatmates.
One of the girls, we'll call Amy, immediately began roasting Sam by saying "I'm so glad that ugly neckbeard is gone" and how she doesn't have to look at him anymore.
Honestly, I immediately felt disgusted. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from or how they look like. I was once treated like that and it isn't nice.
I immediately snapped at Amy and said "You're bullying him, and that's not cool". She looked at me shocked I confronted her and things went quiet.
Later my other male flatmate Henry said i was an asshole for interrupting Amy and that she was "only joking around and having fun". I told him tht he's complicit and should be ashamed. But I do wonder whether I was an AH for embarrassing her. AITA? ###### | NTA. Good on you for sticking up for your friend, OP. ###### |
For context, I bought a new cast iron skillet and still trying to get the hang of using it to cook a nice melted cheese sandwich.
I thought that I should be sweet and make my wife breakfast. I’ve did this for a number of occasions these past couple of weeks but today was the one that made me rather pissed.
She came into the kitchen and started asking why is this toast is slightly burnt; the french toast has not absorbed enough egg etc. She then proceeded to give me feedback about how I should do it. I just told her that “Look, I just wanted to make a nice breakfast and still trying to get the hang of it. I’m really not trying to be a top chef here.” AND...she got pissed with me.
This is not the first time and each time I just brush it off. But it all just got to me today but I know that if the position has been switched, I would be told off for trying to tell her what to do. ###### | NTA. Good luck with the cast iron — the *best* for grilled cheese sandwiches! Everyone’s fuses are short these days; but if it’s an ongoing thing, you need to discuss “feedback boundaries.” Feedback can’t just go one way — and in any case, it needs to be presented properly so that the recipient isn’t left feeling resentful and unsupported. ###### |
So I was in subway a few weeks ago and there was a small woman in there who made the mistake of saying "a 3 inch sub please" and these two builders started joking and making fun and she said "please can you stop" and they were like "we were only joking , love!" And I thought that was that, but a few moments later one of them started again saying "a three inch is enough" so I got angry at this point, and said **"is that what you have to tell your wife every night"** to the man and his friend started laughing like hell and the man got up, towered over me and said "theres no need to be like that you fucking, bitch!" I yelled back to him that he needed to leave her alone.
I was then told to leave the subway as well as the 2 men.
I'm a woman too and this girl looked visibly flustered and upset, I got angry. I told people what I said, they laughed but said I shouldn't have stepped in or been so rude. I hate verbal altercation and I felt a bit guilty for upsetting the dude afterwards, but I was so pissed off in that moment.
AITA ###### | NTA. Good job on calling him out. You asked them to stop and they didn't. Don't feel guilty about causing a verbal altercation it was something that needed to be address as someone was uncomfortable with what they were saying. ###### |
I have a five year old daughter named Colette. Ever since she was born my mil called my daughter "letters" as a nickname (because Colette ends in lette i'm guessing). It's not the greatest nickname in the world but I let it go.
The other day, my daughter randomly said: Why does grandma call me "letters". My name is Colette.
I told her: It's her nickname for you.
Colette: that's weird
me:Do you not like being called "letters"
Colette: not really
me:it's ok to tell grandma that you want to be called Colette instead of letters.
Colette went to my MIL's house today. My husband dropped her off and picked her up so I didn't see my MIL at all that day.
That night I get a call from my MIL. She tells me that it was really rude for Colette to say she didn't like her nick name. And that I shouldn't have told her to say that. She said I was raising her to be bratty. She also said that Colette couldn't come over until she apologized and says that she likes being called letters.
That last part pissed me off. I told her "what the fuck? You're banning a 5 year old from your house for not liking a stupid nick name. Then I hung up on her.
Aita for using that kind of language with my mil. ###### | NTA. good for you for teaching your daughter to stand up for herself and for doubling down by standing up for her. MIL needs to apologize to the 5 year old for not respecting her name request.
and no f* your MIL, you just dropped an f bomb and that’s alright. if you really feel bad about your language you could call her back to apologize for only that and say that you thought it over and do not want her to see her grand daughter until she apologizes and respects your daughter wishes and boundaries. and that you don’t feel comfortable with someone who belittles a child! ###### |
My property ends about 2 feet from my neighbor’s property. Because it’s so close we have not made a big deal when he walks in our lawn a bit or needs to set up a sprinkler in our lawn to water the side of his house. I didn’t even come t when he drove his truck into his back yard multiple times over the course of a few weeks.
But recently I think he’s taking it too far. He hired a tree removal company to take down a tree in his backyard and told them it was ok to drive their large trucks through my lawn to get there without asking us. He got a new dog (German Shepard) and put the stake leash right on his property line so the dog is very far into my lawn. I have a young child who is afraid of dogs and he refuses to play in our lawn because the dog is so far into our yard.
For reference, he has a decent sized front yard and back yard (1/4 acre or so total) and the majority of our lawn is the area where he keeps encroaching.
He is a new neighbor so we started nicely just letting him know where the property line is so he didn’t have to wonder and we said nothing when he drove his truck back. But i have now twice had to ask him to get his dog off my lawn. He makes a big huff about it and is clearly annoyed.
I want to be neighborly but I also want him to respect that he can’t do what he wants with my property. My husband thinks we should just ignore it. I think we need to gently ask him to keep his vehicles and animals out of our yard. ###### | NTA. Good fences make good neighbors. ###### |
I (18F) and my half-brother (42M) have only really had a relationship for the past 5-6 years. He got married to my SIL (39F) who I'm going to call "Dinah". They recently had a baby and while the relationship was never the best with Dinah (pretty much a narcissist) but my family and myself tried to keep strings attached for the kiddo's sake.
About a few weeks ago, I got some really inappropriate texts from my brother directed at me in a non-brotherly way. I went to my parents immediately when he sent them. They were both shocked and called him up to confront him about it. He tried to dismiss it as a joke or whatever (though it definitely wasn't) and said that I and my parents were being overly dramatic about it.
Then cuts in Dinah raging in over the phone (I guess my brother had us on speaker). She accuses us of reading things into the texts he sent to try and ruin the relationship and that this will "never be fixed because you jumped to conclusions about what he was saying". And that we're missing out on a relationship with their baby.
I've tried to re-read the texts over and over again, and honestly? They were so creepy and not joking at all. I tried every way I could find to not believe he'd send me those things, but he did, and we even sent Dinah screencaps of what he said (and her response was "I can't believe you'd throw away a relationship of 5-6 years because of this"). I feel like absolute garbage sometimes and that maybe I shouldn't have said anything to keep the peace, but I felt that he crossed a line. He was always inappropriate before, but never with me. AITA for breaking up this relationship over a text? ###### | NTA. Going to your parents with the texts was 100% the right thing to do. Many teenagers wouldn’t have the sense to tell their parents about something like this.
This doesn’t change anything but can you tell us more about the nature of the text messages? Were they just straight-up insults? ###### |
It's recently come to light that my parents have used my SSN to run up a little over $15,000 of debt that's now in collections. My credit is ruined and my plans of saving for post-grad school have just flown out the window. The only way to have it removed would be to file a police report against my parents to have the debt declared fraudulent. I'm pretty sure this is a felony, but I haven't spoken to any lawyers or anything.
Before you say obviously NTA, I'm hesitating because my parents take care of my elderly grandmother. Since her husband died, she is alone basically all the time except for when my parents are around as my family is very small. My mother is also a nurse and helps my grandmother out with any medical care she needs (she's not sickly enough to need full time care, just when things come up).
I live out of state and can't afford to help my grandmother if my parents were to go to jail/(prison?). WI BTA if I followed through with the police on this? ###### | NTA. God knows what they are doing with your grandmother... ###### |
Sorry for the confusing(?) title, I don’t exactly know how to word this.
I’m 21f, my dad was 46m. To make a long story short: When I was 9, my dad cheated on my mom, while she had cancer, and got married immediately after she died. Stepmom, who is 43f, and her daughter, who is 18f, were not nice people, and made growing up a living hell for me. They were constantly reminding me I didn’t have a mom, and would do things like destroy my bedroom, any school stuff I had, and throw any nice thing I had out. My dad knew about most of it and did nothing. When I turned 18, I moved out and refused to contact any of them again.
About a month ago, my dad had a heart attack in the middle of the night and died. I didn’t learn about his passing until two weeks ago, where I also learned he’d left me everything in his will. Not “everything” everything, but he left me what money he had, and several precious objects that are worth a good bit of money. Very little was left to step-mom and step-sister.
I found out he died because they called me to start harassing me about giving them what I was getting from my dad’s will. They told me they would be struggling if they didn’t get it. I ended up telling them that I didn’t care if they were struggling, and that if they really wanted to do this, I would see them in court.
AITA for collecting what I was left from my dad’s will, leaving my step-family to struggle?
Edit:
1: step-mother was left something, yes. She was left with the house, and money from my dad and her’s joint account. I was left money from a separate account that she does not have access to.
2: Yes, I’m looking into getting a lawyer. And a copy of the will. It seems like the will was written about a year ago.
3: Because of the current world issue, the funeral didn’t happen. Dad’s been buried, but they’re going to do a memorial service for him in June, and I’m not invited.
4: please stop telling me this is just like cinderella. I really hate that movie. ###### | NTA. Go get yours and F them. ###### |
My grandpa is an jerk. He has a swastika tattoo on his right shoulder. He hates my dad because 'he is not good enough for my mom', he is black and because he is a SAHD. He disowned my mom for 'marrying a monkey'. The only member of the family he likes is me, because I am 'his only legitimate heir' since I am white.
I hate my grandpa. When I was younger, and he used to visit, he would always spout some anti-black, or anti-jew, or anti-Mexican propaganda. He would also loudly say how much he hated my 'monkey dad'.
However he is a rich jerk. Idk exactly how much money he has, but he lives like a king. Since he disowned my parents, not a cent of the money found it's way to us. We are poor.
He just got diagnosed with cancer, and he will die in 9 months. I want to say 'good riddance and the world is a better place'. However, he announced that he is writing his will, and I want to be on it.
My plan is to visit him in the hospital everyday until he dies. I will listen to his stupid world views and racist comments. I will agree with him, and express my own hate (this will be a lie of course). I will talk BS about white supremacy, etc.
Then I'll be in his will, and inherit a ton of money, which will pay for my college. I'll also give some to my parents.
My mom is all for it, but my is against it, saying he doesn't want me around that POS.
Tell me Reddit, WIBTA if I sucked up to my asshat grand sperm-doner to get into his will? ###### | NTA. Go for it and earn some money. Yeah he is a piece of crap, but it's totally worth being around him every now and then for a slice of the pie. ###### |
I'll start by explaining the situation, my mother is a health nut who also happens to have celiac disease. I don't have celiac disease and don't currently follow the diet. My mother insists on me following it even though gluten free food is more expensive and tastes bland in comparison. Her reasoning is that apparently gluten gives people diabetes, which I know is complete BS. I'll also note that I'm not making her spend extra money on non gluten free food, as my father doesn't have celiac disease either. It doesn't affect her at all for me not to follow the gluten free diet. I'm pretty certain I'm in the right here, but would like another perspective. ###### | NTA. Gluten does not cause Type II Diabetes, long-term overconsumption of carbohydrates (which your body breaks down into *glucose*) does. Eating healthy is never a bad idea, but there is absolutely no reason to follow a gluten-free diet if it's not medically necessary. ###### |
So last year I moved in to a new apartment with two friends. I was the one who provided most of the essentials such a washing machine, tv and (most importantly to the story) a small fridge that wasn't made for 3 person but that we managed to get by with. Shortly after I realized that I had a different lifestyle than one of my friend and so she decided to move out (I however have 0 problem with my other friend). When she left, she found a guy on a facebook page that was looking for a place to stay and since things were going really fast and I was caught up with school I accepted to let him. So things go by and I don't really like the guy, but I have no specific reason to besides the fact that I'm not too comfortable with living with a complete stranger. He's always using my TV and Switch when I'm not on them and while it's not an offence or anything, it just really gets on my nerves. After a while of him living here, he found a bigger fridge from someone at his work and brought it to the apartment, at the time I thought I'd sell my fridge, but decided to keep it in case I wanna move out so I kept in an open corner of the kitchen. Flash forward to a month ago from right now, I wake up, go to the kitchen an see that my small fridge is missing, after asking around I learn that the guy sold it without even telling me! So I get really angry, confront him about it saying that he shouldn't have done it and he instead replies that I'm in the wrong and that I shouldn't accuse him (he's basically saying that since he cleans more than me and since he brought the bigger fridge he was entitled to it.) I finally got him to pay me back, but things have been really cold between us since and the mood in the apartment changed drasticly (especially with the lockdown!) Since he's not on the papers for the apartment, I decided to tell him to move out cause I don't wanna live with him anymore and I gave him a 2 months time to find a new place to move to. Am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA. Giving him two months was a nice move. ###### |
My boyfriend picked up chess recently. I have been a chess player all my life. Now my boyfriend isn't very good but he is improving.
We played a 10+0 rapid game online just like an hour ago and he absolutely destroyed me. Very suspicious. He was celebrating but I decided to check the analysis and it was 1-0-0. Basically he made 1 inaccuracy and zero mistakes or blunders during the game. He also somehow knew the mainline najdorf(a chess opening) quite deep. He might just have studied it but I personally find it very unlikely. I asked my bf if he cheated and he got very defensive and upset and said I should have some trust in him. I said I am not buying this, the najdorf is one of the sharpest openings in all of chess and its hard for GMs to get 1-0-0. He called me bitch and ended the call.
Aita? ###### | NTA. Given that everything is true, its virtually impossible that he didn't use some sort of bot/engine. His claim is akin to a high school student claiming they wrote a best selling novel, sure its *possible,* but chances are <0.0001%. Is your boyfriend competitive? I'm thinking he may be frustrated with constantly losing to you. ###### |
I have a 12yo dog, very docile and friendly. I've been quite attached to him even more due to the fact that I lived through many hard times in life where my only companion was him. My friends and family couldn't care less for me during these periods.
A few years ago I begun to get involved with the person who's now my fiancee. When I realized that things would get serious I asked her to be my girlfriend, but I said "Before you commit I have to warn you that my dog is extremely important to me. He sleeps in my bed and I care very much for him. You don't have to accept it, that's why I'm bringing this up before we get serious". She gladly accepted.
A few months later she decided that it was unacceptable to have him on the bed. I reminded her that I warned her first, but we both agreed that when she's with me I'd let the dog sleep on another bed in other room and wash our bed sheets and stuff.
She has this retroactive jealously and I find it quite difficult to live with. We discuss every two weeks because she wants to be the one focus of attention in my life. Now she's trying to 1 - compare her jealously with her having to accept my dog, as if one thing was compensating another, and 2 - trying to limit even the attention I give to my dog during any time of the day. Bare in mind that I'm not a very socially active person, my few friends are all men and I even work at home, so there's not even "that girls from the office" for her to complain.
AITA for not attending to her current demands and saying that's beyond too much? ###### | NTA. Give an inch, take a mile. Word of advice, it is ALWAYS bad news when the partner dislikes the pet. Most animal haters would be upfront with their dislike OR would offer some kind of compromise.
This is a clue of what she will be like with everyone else that could 1 up her too. ###### |
A bit of background: I (24F) don’t shave. Anything. I have arm hair, armpit hair, leg hair, pubes, even some ass hair. I’m very pale and have dark hair so it’s very noticeable. TL;DR at the end.
I started talking to a guy on Tinder almost 2 months ago. We talked for a few weeks and he asked me on a date. (The dates happened before the whole situation. Stay at home, folks) We have a really great date and I ask him out again, this time to my place. We are starting to hook up, I get undressed, and he sees my leg hair. He makes an uncomfortable “forgot to shave in the winter?” joke and I inform him that I never shave. He freaks out and scrambles to get dressed. He tells me I’m gross and I should have warned him before he wasted all this time on me.
I understand that it could be a dealbreaker, and it wouldn’t upset me if it was for him, I was just upset with the way he handled it. In my defense, I just never think about it. I haven’t shaved since I was in high school. The hair on my body is just part of me. I’ve only ever dated 2 people before him. One was a woman who also didn’t shave, and the other was guy who didn’t care.
My friends and family are split on this. My mom and sister, who also think I’m gross, agree with him but most of my friends are on my side. I do feel bad he felt tricked, but how am I supposed to bring this up before going on a date/sleeping together?
AITA for not telling him I don’t shave?
TL;DR: I have body hair, didn’t mention it to a guy before we went on a date, he gets upset. ###### | NTA. girl, you dodged a bullet. ###### |
I'm an artist and I found a following online. I'm starting to make some serious cash for what I do and it's been helping me save up so I can finally move out of my parent's place.
Due to the quarentine, this has basically become my full time job which means I spend a large portion of the day in my room. I also work well into the night since there are fewer distractions, so I tend to sleep in until 10 each day.
I don't neglect home responsablilties and I do come down for a few hours each day. However my mom wants me to be down as often as she is and wake up much earlier too. No matter how much I tell her about what I do she doesn't understand that I actually work, and that my success hinges on my output.
She says that I'm just neglecting her feelings. That I'm just using this art thing as an excuse to avoid her and be lazy.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Get your mom into diamond painting and she will never bother you again. ###### |
I have a huge family. I’m 13 my brothers 15.
For my birthday I got a can of spaghetti that’s worth a dollar (that my brother ate, and gave to me ), old pens which my brother also gave to me, and a 15 dollar gift card from my mom and dad. I didn’t get any cards or anything from my family no one messaged me happy birthday. My brother got a bayonet, a pocket knife, a wot shirt, a ring with “god protect my soul” engraved on it, two collectors coins from russia, one from 1952 one from 1981, and a new phone all from my parents, along with 40 dollar headphones from me . He got a birthday card from my dads stepmom who hated my dad but loves my brother, and practically got “happy birthday“s thrown at him. With all the stuff he got he was still sad, I told him to cheer up at least he didn’t get dollar store stuff, he enjoyed my joke but My parents said I was messing up his birthday for bringing it up.
AITA for feeling bad about getting cheap presents like pens and a dollar can of spaghetti for my birthday While my brother got really expensive stuff? ###### | NTA. Get your mom dollar store spaghetti noodles and your dad dollar store spaghetti sauce and hamburger for their birthdays. Tell them now you can have fresh spaghetti. ###### |
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