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I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with a girl. I have two twin boys who are 2. With my older two, I didn't even think about whether I was going to breastfeed. They were born at 29 weeks, before the breast/bottle conversation even happened with my doctor, and they had to spend 2.5 months in the ICU. My milk never even came in.
I've been going back and forth on breastfeeding for the last few weeks, but I've settled on formula feeding. Taking care of three babies will be hard enough and I don't want to be tethered to my daughter every time she's hungry or be constantly pumping. I want my husband/parents to be able to share the burden. I want to be able to go back to work and I don't want to breastfeed in public. I'm also already so uncomfortable and I just want my body to heal and to feel good again after the birth. I want to feel like I have full power over my body again.
My husband has largely stayed out of the decision because he doesn't want to pressure me. I have informed him that we're going to formula feed. My husband's father in particular has taken issue with my decision. He says that I'm being selfish to not even try and do a few feeds. He thinks my reasoning is superficial and that it's not fair that my husband/all fathers don't have any say in what's healthiest for the baby. I know there are benefits to breastfeeding but I just don't want to try it. Am I the asshole for saying hell no to breastfeeding without any good reason for it? ###### | NTA. Get your FIL a breast pump and tell him get started milking himself. ###### |
Yesterday my bf and I were talking and I finally got the courage to ask why he gets angry at me every few days and days he will never talk to me again. I asked about a specific situation like why he was angry. And he answered 2-3 times that we hadn’t been together that long then but to me that’s not a reason to get irrationally angry at someone you care about. After I asked again specifically what was it I did that made him angry in that situation he exploded and flew into a rage. He said I will ask him every day (it wAs my first time ever bringing it up) and said I’m sadistic. I began feeling guilty like maybe he was justifiable angry bc I didn’t understand his explaining how the fact we hadn’t been together long related to how he got angry. And maybe it was reasonable he got mad he had to repeat himself 2-3 times.
Overall I felt such anger and I’d never been so scared of him before even though I am scared of him in general. I do wonder if it’s all my fault. He gets angry at me about everything but said he was willing to forgive his ex for cheating yet he gets mad at me for disagreeing on small things, looking upset, thinking badly of him (he assumed it when I’m not). I wonder why he treats me so differently and blame myself.
I feel I’m going insane. Was I wrong for not understanding him after he explained a few times? ###### | NTA. Get out, get out now. That narcissistic piece of trash will suck your soul out. You're already getting gaslighted and feeling guilty for something that is his fault. Run. ###### |
Tonight my friends had a night of Dungeons and Dragons which quickly devolved into a night of drinking and hanging out. (Which is pretty usual)
One of my roommates invited over a new friend who she is romantically interested in, to play with us. Everyone was into it, myself included.
During the character creation of the game you have to choose personality traits, which gives you an idea of who a character is.
Jack chose gay as a personality trait. That's it. Gay. Who they are? Gay. Their fault? Gay. Their bonds? Gay.
Etc.
When Jack announced this, a table full of my friends decided this was acceptable. This was totally normal to think about being gay.
I was left feeling alone. I felt that everything that I am boiled down to a joke. That people only see me as gay. Everyone I trust and confide in, let alone live with, was alright with thinking that my sexual preference is completely acceptable as a personality. Nothing else to it. Just being gay. Nothing more.
I went with it, but slowly steamed. The jokes rolled in. I steamed more. I made it clear that I am gay. No one said anything.
At the end of the night I announced loudly that I was angry at everyone there for just letting it slide, and that the joke was unacceptable. My life, and the recognition that people have fought for, is not a goddamn joke, and that I expected someone, ANYONE to mention it, but no one did.
I immediately went to my room to sulk, which is where I am now.
Did I overreact? AITA? ###### | NTA. Gay jokes died in the 2000’s. It’s not funny. Your identity isn’t a joke, and I’m surprised your friends thought this was okay. I’m assuming Jack is the outsider, but even still. Your friends should have said something. But I do agree with the others that said you should have said something sooner. I mean, I can understand the frustration and wanting to see how far they’d let it slide. They should have known better, but I think they would have backed you up if you had told them it bothered you. ###### |
Tonight my friends had a night of Dungeons and Dragons which quickly devolved into a night of drinking and hanging out. (Which is pretty usual)
One of my roommates invited over a new friend who she is romantically interested in, to play with us. Everyone was into it, myself included.
During the character creation of the game you have to choose personality traits, which gives you an idea of who a character is.
Jack chose gay as a personality trait. That's it. Gay. Who they are? Gay. Their fault? Gay. Their bonds? Gay.
Etc.
When Jack announced this, a table full of my friends decided this was acceptable. This was totally normal to think about being gay.
I was left feeling alone. I felt that everything that I am boiled down to a joke. That people only see me as gay. Everyone I trust and confide in, let alone live with, was alright with thinking that my sexual preference is completely acceptable as a personality. Nothing else to it. Just being gay. Nothing more.
I went with it, but slowly steamed. The jokes rolled in. I steamed more. I made it clear that I am gay. No one said anything.
At the end of the night I announced loudly that I was angry at everyone there for just letting it slide, and that the joke was unacceptable. My life, and the recognition that people have fought for, is not a goddamn joke, and that I expected someone, ANYONE to mention it, but no one did.
I immediately went to my room to sulk, which is where I am now.
Did I overreact? AITA? ###### | NTA. Gay jokes are harmful. Especially these. They were being TA in this situation. It’s like if you said “girl” was your trait, and spent the whole night making jokes about staying in the kitchen, nagging, shopping, being boy crazy, or other stereotypes. I’m sure they would be like “dude what are you doing” ###### |
We suck at money, and I’m really trying to get better about it. He has had a long week, we’re getting our stimulus money soon and he worked some OT last week, so when he asked if he could get a game, I said sure. He called me later and said the DLC he bought didn’t include everything recent, so he asked if he could get that too, and I said sure.
I didn’t ask how much it was. I assumed (you know what happens then) that it would be maybe $100 total for both.
I checked our bank account this morning and it was $350! I told him how much spending money we had TOGETHER this paycheck, and that is almost all of it. AITA for being upset about this, or is it my fault for not asking the amount? ###### | NTA. Gamer here. Gaming is fun and admittedly, a very expensive hobby. However who in their right mind would buy a game and all the DLC when they arent in a financial situation capable to deal with it. You are completely right to be mad at him, and you were right to expect it would cost about 100 dollars with DLC. Who made the game, EA? ###### |
My(45M) wife (38F) is just home from the hospital after an acute hypertensive crisis (BP 213/145).
Back story: She was hospitalized 4y ago for the same issue and it was brought under control. We had a child 19m ago and during the pregnancy she consciously discontinued her treatment (medication and apnea machine) due to side effects and inconvenience of treatment. Despite repeatedly asking her to see her Dr (we are in Canada, no cost) and asking her to resume treatment she always laughed and blew me off and did nothing.
Fast forward to Thursday. My wife feels dizzy, I demand she take her BP and it’s 195/140. I insist she goes to the hospital as she could have a stroke or a heart attack. She argues and says she will just take her medication. I point out it’s been over a year and she shouldn't guess doses if she’s that much in distress. She relents and goes to hospital. After a night of treatment it eventually gets brought down to a manageable level and she comes home. This morning she asks if I have any “negative feelings towards her about this” and I state that I am angry and upset that she had the tools to prevent this and willfully ignored them and brought this crisis on herself. And further it’s not fair to the kids (we have 2) that she did this either.
She burst into tears is and refusing to talk to me. AITA for calling her out on her behaviour? ###### | NTA. Gambling with your health because medicine is uncomfortable is selfish and irresponsible, and FWIW, I’m someone that has to shove burning foam up my arse every other night, because it’s better I have a sore arse than my daughter doesn’t have a dad. ###### |
I was having an conversation with a friend and she was explaining to me how covid-19 has been really hard on her, and adding home schooling on top everything else just is the icing on top of it all. I made a brief comment how I’m so grateful I don’t have children at the moment.
She fucking lost it on me.
I sympathize with her 100% but am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. Fuck, do you want mine? ###### |
I enjoy singing but I am VERY bad at it admittedly. I have no pitch or tone but I like to sing alone in my room usually to songs or I’ll even do karaoke by myself I know I’m bad but I like doing it, it’s fun and a stress reliever. I moved in with an roommate a couple months ago and he hates my singing (I don’t blame him) but I was singing in my room a few weeks after moving in and he had asked me to stop and not to do it when he’s home, I said sure it seemed like a reasonable request although I don’t sing that loud. Well the other day I thought my roommate was out and was singing some karaoke in my room and didn’t think he’d be home for a couple of hours. He ended up coming back early with a couple of friends and they heard me singing (I’d didn’t hear them come in as I had headphones in). Well he actually sent them home and BLEW up on me saying that I embarrassed him with my terrible singing and that no one should be singing like that unless they’re a professional. he also doesn’t want me singing at all in the apartment. I apologized and said I didn’t know that they would be home but he’s still mad at me. But I don’t really feel like TA here. What do you guys think AITA? ###### | NTA. Fuck that guy. He could have texted you or knocked on the door like a normal human being.
Kick him out and get a new roommate. ###### |
Alright. So Joe is a friend of my friend Steven. Steven Joe and I have been talking lately, and Joe has somewhat become a friend. I’ve never met Joe in person, which becomes relevant.
So a bit of background. I’m legally blind from an accident that messed up my optic nerves. I can see some light and movement, but not much else. I use a lot of assistive tech to do basic stuff like post on reddit, and use my phone and computer in general.
So here comes the asshole bit: I’m on a voice call with Steven and Joe and we start talking about college. We’re all currently high schoolers. I mention a couple of concerns about being blind at college, and Joe freaks out. As it turns out, he didn’t know I’m legally blind. That’s fine, and he starts asking questions. A lot of them are basic ones that I’m used to, it’s fine. But then he asks if I should really go to college, or if I should wait and let someone who (his words) ‘will actually get something out of it’ take my spot. I took offense to that, considering my brain works mostly fine. After a couple of minutes, he not only didn’t apologize but doubled down. I left the call and blocked him. A couple minutes later Steven messaged me asking if I blocked Joe, since he wasn’t able to message me now. This whole convo was on discord, which shows a message when you’re blocked. I said yeah I blocked him because of the shit he said, Steven said I was being too harsh and Joe was just curious. I thought it’s somewhat reasonable. Now I don’t know what to think honestly. ###### | NTA. Fuck Joe. ###### |
My dad and mom split up when I was young but I’ve been close as hell with both of them until my dad started dating Kara (not her real name) My dad is white and my mom is black so yes I’m biracial and Kara is a massive racist. She has used the following slurs to my face the following
- nigger
- porch monkey
- half breed
- mutt
- jigaboo
And not just her; her kids (9m, 11f) have also called me slurs. Of course if I ever tell my dad and he confronts her, she just denies it and starts gaslighting him. Recently they announced they’re getting married in December and she’s 6 weeks pregnant. Now of course Kara texted me and said not to expect any fried chicken or pigs feets served at the wedding because she’s vegan and it’s gonna be all vegan food. At that point I had it, I texted my dad that I will not be showing up to the wedding and that Kara is a mistake. He said I was overreacting and I should spend more time with her but I’m done. ###### | NTA. Fuck her and fuck your dad for allowing someone to speak to his child this way. ###### |
My friends and I (all 20M) had plans to meet up for the first time in 2 months due to the restrictions being eased recently in my state and planned to meet in a park to kick a ball around and just catch up.
My girlfriend (20M) of 3 years asked to come before and I said no because I wanted to spend some time with just my mates and I feel like there is a bit of a different dynamic with her being there. She began to get very upset but I still didnt invite her.
She brought up that yesterday she invited me to see her 3 of her friends (they still saw each other regularly despite restrictions) which I did, we got along well and had a good time.
She claims that I am embarrassed by her but I dont think that that's true I just dont think this is the type of event to invite her to as it's just a group of 6 of us who have all been friends for 7 years.
I told her I would apologise to her and try to make it up to her if I was wrong so reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. From my perspective, you are not embarrassed. You want some time alone with your friends, period. I think it's fair to say no, however I also believe it is important to explain to your GF the reason for saying NO. I don't see any problem, if you want to spend some time alone with your friends without your GF. Another point, are their GF's coming as well? ###### |
I met my boyfriend at the beginning of freshman year of college(I’m a junior now) and I moved into his apartment in January. I’m 5’9” and he’s 5’5”. So yes, I’m tall and he’s short and I can see how that could be a little funny at first.
But my friends have been making jokes about it for 2 years straight. Just incessantly, every conversation has to be a joke about it. I’ve told them to relax with the jokes multiple times and they never stopped.
And my boyfriends friends are so much more... I don’t know how to say it, just chill. I’ve been spending most of my time with them playing video games online rather than on the 2 hour phone calls my friends have been having.
They’ve been texting me asking what I’m doing and to call them. WIBTA if I don’t? ###### | NTA. Friendships are not necessarily forever, and you realized they are the type of people to not only make fun, but to ignore your requests to stop when you ask.
Sounds like you're outgrowing them. ###### |
I live by a strict...rule(?) of confidentiality. You tell me something and tell me not to tell anyone I will take it to my grave. I expect the same thing back in any of my relationships with people. Obviously its discussed and the trust is built and what not. If I hear back something I have shared with you from someone else, I don't care how long we've been friends. I'll drop you as a friend. I'm loving, caring, and supporting to my friends, heck to random strangers on the internet on a daily. But that's the one thing that matters more to me than anything. I'm an over sharer, and I excitedly tell people things about myself, often followed by a want of things to be kept between us. I'm told this comes to get me quite often, but it's only to those I truly feel like I can tell.
As you might've assumed I no longer want to be friends with a close friend of mine, and my family isn't supportive of it because their "so good for me" and I "would be crazy" and a "asshole to let go of the friendship". The person told three other people of a big secret I was so scared to tell them, I don't understand why and when asked they said they didnt either. It just doesn't quite make sense to me to continue the friendship, if you could easily slip something like that without feeling bad then I shouldn't feel bad about removing you from my life. My family wants me to rekindle this, but I can't. A secret like that is purposely told. It doesn't slip out of your mouth.
Personally I don't think I'm an asshole at all, reddit? ###### | NTA. Friendship is built off trust. If they can't honor that, then they aren't a friend, period. ###### |
Ok my parents have started fostering kids and there is this one group they really want to keep but i dont. I know this sounds bad but hear me out. These kids are constantly putting stress on my parents by stealing there (AND ME AnD MY SISTERS) money getting up in the middle of the night to go outside and jump on our trampoline, constantly hitting each other and bullying my blood related brother, ect. And tbh my parents are never home so im stuck babysitting them and there are some days where i genuinley hate just looking at them. SO reddit AITA? ###### | NTA. Fostering kids is great, but if your parents want to adopt, they need to consult the kids they already have.
Otherwise it’s a recipe for resentment. ###### |
Its late at night so I'm gonna keep this short.
Background: Recently, I've been constipated (really embarrassing but is important) Idk why, but I have been. I started taking medicine to help this, and this has worked for the most part.
Story: So earlier today I went down to the kitchen to take a break from Terraria (checking out the 1.4 update) and to have some coffee. I was making it when I overheard my younger brother. (His room is in the basement.) My brother is trying to become a Twitch streamer with some of his friends and was talking with his buddies. I mainly tune it out but a word slips into my head.
THE NAME OF THE MEDICINE I TAKE FOR CONSTIPATION.
I IMMEDIATELY head down, and ask wtf he's talking about. He's like "bruh chill," while I'm furious that he's talking about MY PRIVATE INFORMATION on stream. (To be fair, he has zero followers. That's not an exaggeration, he literally has 0 followers, but that doesn't change anything.) I explode but mainly stay passive. I spill some sprinkles on his floor but nothing much. I tell my mother as it's mainly her job to manage my brother and she goes nuts. She IMMEDIATELY brings him into a conversation. He realizes that he's in the wrong and comes up to my room and apologize with my mom in the background.
I don't accept.
It was only a few hour difference from when it happened to when he apologized, I feel like this is just another one of his apologies and he'll go straight back to being a jerk (which is what usually happens) and I get the impression that he's only saying that because my mom is making him. So I don't accept. He gets pissed and runs straight out and my mom kinda gives me a dirty look. So reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. Forgiveness is earned. I’m sorry has no meaning without actions to back it ###### |
I’m a little fat, not a lot fat but a little fat. You can tell I’m a little fat, but I’m no porker. I’m also bulky, I work in construction and when I come home I’m hungry and just eat what makes me feel full. I can bench 450 so I’m not some fatass old guy drinking beer on the couch all day.
My wife works a programming job she’s been working from home for so I haven’t been working even though I’m “essential”.
While I’ve been home my wife has been trying to limit me to what she calls 2000 calories a day. But what she gives me at dinner and calls 2000 calories is like a quarter of what I normally eat and I’m starving after. I’ve been mostly playing basketball and football with my son so it’s not like I’ve just been sitting around at home. I’ve also been working out some with what I have here, but it’s not as good as the gym.
I’ve been sneaking in snacks while she’s not looking but she caught me eating some the other day and then when she went to the store she only got celery for snacks. I don’t want celery for a snack I want real food. Today I made dinner so I could finally have something filling and she got mad and said it was too much. I only made like half of what I normally eat. I finally got pissed and said I was going to eat what I wanted and she said she just wouldn’t get stuff I can cook then. I said I would go to the store and she said that I can’t or I’d be in deep shit.
I feel like I should eat what I want. I’m a grown man not a toddler that needs to be watched over. AITA? ###### | NTA. Forcing diets is not cool. It's okay if **you** plan on limiting your diet, but not cool for your wife to force you. ###### |
Sorry for format, on mobile.
I’ll try to keep it short. This has been an ongoing argument mostly between myself (19f) and my mom (50f). I want kids, but I don’t want to carry them myself. Part of my problem is that I’m having difficulty explaining EXACTLY why, it’s just not something I’m comfortable doing with my body. I’m a lesbian, so eventually I’ll (hopefully) end up marrying another woman. When it comes to kids, I’ve said that either my future wife can be pregnant if she wants and it comfortable with it, or we can adopt. I am completely fine with either option, I’ll love my kid(s) all the same. Family is made by choice, not blood in my eyes.
My mom says this makes me self-centered and wimpy because I’m “expecting someone else to do all the hard work for me,” and “I’m pushing aside women who are incapable of having babies/have not other options and not allowing them to adopt.” Also on her side, it means “I have no respect for anyone who gives birth.”
I feel like I’m living in the handmaid’s tale, she feels like I’m a self centered prick. Honestly she’s been railing against so much it’s just making me doubt myself and whether I’m really valid, because I do (as far as I know) have a perfectly functioning reproductive system, and some killer looks to pass down, so who am I to deny the world more? ###### | NTA. For one thing it's entirely your choice, you shouldn't ever have to explain why you don't want to give birth. For another
>I’m pushing aside women who are incapable of having babies/have not other options and not allowing them to adopt.
How many kids are in the foster system? Pretty sure you personally are not taking all 400,000 kids away from every couple who can't have kids ###### |
We’re both in our early 20s. I’m an undergrad student, living with my parents (they cover all of my living expenses) and I have an internship that pays me 40% of the minimum wage where I live. It’s not much, but it’s the money I use for clothes, products, nights out, take out, anything that isn’t strictly necessary for me to survive. Also worth noting I grew up poor so I’m fully in control of what I spend. I’m the first to admit I can be cheap.
My bf, on the other hand, grew up rich in a family that overspends. They earn a lot of money, but spend just as much, so they don’t have a lot to their names or many savings. My boyfriend’s parents cover all of his living expenses + pay him an allowance that is 2,5x bigger than my internship salary.
Now the asshole part — being cheap has allowed me to save some money. I never asked him if he had savings, he never asked me either, but he assumed I would have none since I’m always saying I’m outta money. The thing is, every month I save 30% of what I make. When I say I’m out of money I mean that, in my monthly plan, I have already spent the amount I separated for spending, not including what I always save.
This is where he gets mad at me, saying I’m always refusing to go out to eat somewhere fancier, or trade more expensive gifts because I’m ‘out of money’ when I actually have savings and he has nothing/goes into overdraft every other month. I do say I’m out of money a lot, but I didn’t realize that me saying I was out of money necessarily implied that I didn’t have a dime to my name. I didn’t know that was what he thought was going on.
AITA for saying I’m out of money when I actually have savings?
TL;DR — I tell my bf I’m out of money but I actually save 30% of what I make every month and have savings. He says that was misleading and he thought I had no money at all, and is upset because I say that and we do not go to fancy restaurants or trade expensive gifts. ###### | NTA. For most people, "I can't afford it" means 'I don't have room in my budget', not 'I don't have a dime to my name'. Your boyfriend doesn't appreciate this because he's never truly had to budget. ###### |
So my boyfriend offered to buy my some food from a fast food place on his way home for lunch. I'm in the middle of my period and all I want in the world is curly fries.
So he get's home and says "We have a situation. Your curly fries fell all over the floor in the back seat." He handed me the curly fries and went to do his own thing. I throw out the curly fries, because to me, when food falls on the floor, you throw it out. I'm not mad or anything, because accidents happen.
Then he starts talking about how the curly fries are still okay and I say "Woah woah woah, you expected me to eat floor food? I already threw them out."
He gets kinda pissed and tells me they were fine, and that he'd already eaten a couple. Then says I owe him $5 for the fries I "wasted". I begrudgingly give him the money but I'm pissed.
To be fair, he doesn't use the back seat of his car, so it's not like the floor was *filthy* per-say.
So, am I the asshole?
Edit:
He didn't give me any indication that he wanted to eat them or that he thought they were good to eat before I threw them out. If he had said he wanted them I would have been more than happy to give them to him. ###### | Nta. Floor food is only OK based on the opinion of the eater. It's not like you got mad ###### |
Me (25) and happily engaged to a wonderful women.
I came out to my family last year and since then I was proposed to, I said yes horah.
However my family are, to say the least deeply Conservative. Growing up they were excessively anti-LGBTQ+ which made coming out really hard, I made them a promise that I wouldn't post on social media about it until they were ready and to give them a heads up.
It's been almost a year and they stopped speaking to me other than to send me homophobic news articles.
Today over pride month I wanted to tell my friends and cousins. To be honest and show my love, so I spoke to my cousins who expressed support like no other. And I wrote my post on Facebook to the wider audience.
Then the phone calls from my immediate family came in, demanding I delete the post as I had promised them I'd ask first. My older sister told me she owed me nothing anymore and that my parents were going to kill themselves over it unless I deleted it immediately.
These people haven't spoken to me about how I feel, and about me coming out. They've refused to see me when I offer to fly home, saying I'm welcome in their house but not as a gay woman.
I have refused to delete the post and everyone else is giving me the love and support I've needed this last year. My family have told me I've betrayed them.
Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. First you’re engaged to a woman, what were you not supposed to say anything until your wedding? We’re you just supposed to hide it? They’ve had a year to come to terms with it? Also they aren’t speaking to you? If you want to have a say in someone’s life (which is a whole other kettle of fish) you actually have to BE in your life. Live your life and proclaim your love. ###### |
I own a house and recently rented a room to an acquaintance, we’ll call them Sam. COVID happened, they lost their job, but I’m “essential” so I’m still working, meaning they’re at home all day with my pets- 3 cats and a dog.
When Sam first considered moving in, I introduced them to all of the pets and said that you really have to be an animal lover to live with this gang. They’re all rescues and the dog is a 70 pound boxer/pit mix who has tons of energy and wants to be with people all the time. Not a dog you can just toss in the backyard and ignore. Sam assured me they love animals.
Since moving in, Sam has been super weird about the pets- slamming the door shut so the dog can’t greet them, shoving him away when he approaches, leaving him out in the backyard unsupervised, etc. This dog loves people, but Sam so openly dislikes him that I feel like I have to keep him in my bedroom with me whenever I’m home, so I’m no longer using 2/3s of my own house and the dog’s separation anxiety is through the roof. Sam is similarly weird with all of the cats except one, who they keep locking in their room so that the cat scratches up the carpet and meows until I let him out in the middle of the night.
Sam hasn’t been able to pay rent since moving in, which I was flexible about, given the circumstances. But they aren’t eligible for unemployment and haven’t been actively job hunting or picking up extra hours at their side hustle(they actually decreased their hours), so I don’t know how long it’ll be before they can pay rent again. They’re on a month-to-month lease, so I can end it whenever I want to with appropriate notice.
I don’t expect everyone to be an animal lover and I keep my dog under control when around people who don’t want him in their face, but I’m getting tired of feeling like the pets and I can’t relax in the house.
WIBTA If I end their lease after just a few months? ###### | NTA. First off, Sam lied about something majorly relevant to get you to offer them a place to stay. Second, it sounds like Sam is mistreating your pets. It may not be straight up animal abuse, but locking a cat in your room for no reason or putting a dog outside alone when you’ve been told this dog doesn’t handle that is not cool. Third, Sam is taking advantage if they are cutting back on hours and not seeking a job. I can understand that there may be good reasons for Sam to behave this way, but you can’t provide them free housing forever.
That said, I’d sit down and tell Sam I was considering ending the lease and give the reasons why before doing it. Perhaps you can work out a more agreeable compromise instead. If not, you should give Sam a month’s notice (or longer if required by the lease terms or the law where you are). I’d provide that even if not required so they at least have an opportunity to arrange for outside housing. ###### |
To give some background. I (29m) was helped by Brian(68m) when I was down on my luck. After failing my last attempt at being a self sufficient person he gave me a job and paid me more than I should have been. Helped me go back to school and get a steady job in IT at the local community college.
We started a Nonprofit to help Veterans go back to school or get a job by teaching them basic computer skills. Most of our students were older so we also shifted to helping them access services available to them through the community or VA.
After about 3 years of doing this without pay(we're a nonprofit and computers are expensive). I found out my father has cancer and asked if I could take a few months off to be with him. I was berated by him and told I couldn't stop. I blocked him and haven't spoken to him for about 6 months. I dont plan on returning. I left them high and dry because I did all the website design and grant searching. I left him the passwords to all accounts, but I did not find a replacement. AITA? ###### | NTA. First off, he gave you a job, not a gift. You worked for the money (even if overpaid) so you don’t owe on that front.
When you’re a nonprofit you don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Especially when said hand is spending time with their FATHER WHO HAS CANCER. But do keep in mind that if the nonprofit suffers, so do it’s beneficiaries. ###### |
I was at the store and there was a family in front of me. They were short $20 and were about to put groceries back. I felt bad for their kids who looked at their dad who had to decide whether or not to put back the bread or cheese.To me, $20 is nothing so I told the cashier I would pay. I did not know the woman behind me was recording and she posted it on social media. Someone recognized me and tipped me off. I DM'd the woman who posted the video and asked her to take it down because I don't want the attention. You can clearly see my face and the name of the company that I work for on my polo shirt. I also didn't want people to think this was some sort of stunt. I know a lot of people pull fake "charity" for attention. She refused so I contacted the social media company's admin and they took it down for me. ###### | NTA. First of all, recording a stranger without their knowledge or consent, even out in public, and posting it on your social media is rude and inappropriate. No one should have their everyday activities publicized if they don't want to.
Also, the fact that the woman who recorded you didn't say anything at the time and refused to take down the video once she knew you were uncomfortable shows that she doesn't actually care about your kindness, she just wants to exploit it for attention on social media. If she wants to use good deeds for attention, the very least she could do is actually perform any herself.
Your desire for privacy and to be modest about your kindness supercedes her desire for "likes" ###### |
Let me start of by saying that for those who don’t know the history of the swastika, it has been used in India by Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, and Jains for thousands of years as a sacred symbol before it was appropriated by the Nazis for their evil genocidal agenda. As a result, most portraits of Hindu gods and goddesses, a few of which I have hung up in my apartment (I am a Hindu) contain images of the swastika. An acquaintance of mine (not close) entered my apartment a few days ago and seemed shocked: he first accused me of being a Nazi sympathizer! Needless to say, I disabused him of this notion and told him about the history of the symbol in Indian culture. He then told me that I ought to cover up the swastika symbols on my posters because since the Nazis have used the symbol, it is no longer appropriate to display, but I think this is entirely the wrong approach: refusing to display a symbol sacred in my culture for thousands of years because the Nazis used it would be like letting them win. He then said I was being very insensitive and called me a pretentious asshole for expecting everyone to know the history of the swastika. If you go to India, you will see the swastika everywhere and needless to say, the people who display it are not Nazi sympathizers. However, I also know that cultural standards in the US are different from in India and have no desire to be an asshole or pretentious. So, AITA? ###### | NTA. First of all, it's in your apartment so you have the right to display whatever you want to. Secondly, it sounds like the symbol is within a context where it is clear what sense it is being used in. It's not your job to censor your own culture because of something another culture did. I think the sad truth is that many Americans will not know about the history of the symbol, so some people may be surprised when they first see it but that is their opportunity to learn. This person's reaction was out of line. ###### |
For clarity, I live in the UK. In the UK we are allowed to apply for five universities based on predicted grades, then narrow it down to two later on depending on your offers. If you meet the required grades for those offers, then you choose the university.
I'm at the phase just before applying. I've been lucky enough to get the predicted grades to apply wherever I want. The problem comes with outside influence. I want particularly to go to a specific uni in Scotland; the buildings and town and course all seem like exactly what I want. Truly, this place is WONDERFUL and I haven't seen any information that would prevent me for choosing it. Also, the distance would allow me to remove myself from toxic friends and mean I don't have to listen to four siblings and two parents yelling at each other whilst I work.
However, my parents don't want me to apply at all. I live in London so whenever I mention this university they always talk about how selfish I am for wanting to move so far away, how I'd be throwing my future away and how I'm severly limiting myself. Furthermore, I'd like to add that the universities they want me to apply to has the exact same grade requirements as where I want to go, but it has more 'reputation'. They're also all in commuting distance of my house. I haven't said that I wouldn't apply to my parents choice, but I know if I get in it will basically be constant pressure until I accept.
I've assured my family that I'll come home in the holidays, that I'll facetime them all the time and that I find the course there really fascinating, but they refuse to listen.
AITA? ###### | NTA. First of all, congrats on the predicted grades!
I left my family in another country to go to the University I wanted. Looking back, I now see there were other options I didn’t really consider at the time because I had my heart set on that Uni. I don’t regret it though, because it was my choice and I really really wanted it at the time.
If my family had made me stay, I would always feel like I missed out on something. You are NTA, you need to do what you want because it’s your future, and your family should be supportive. ###### |
i am a f15 and they just asked me and hour before we were meant to go.
i don’t have plans but i just finished my second week back at school and i’m exhausted- i feel bad for not wanting to do it as “ i have nothing better to do” but that’s kinda the point..
they were not planning to pay me either.
i’m not even good with kids, they just expect me to do it because i’m old enough. ###### | NTA. First if they want you to, some one has got to pay you I don't care if it is their friends' kids. Second, you need to have met the kids first because as a kindergarten teacher I can tell you it is not easy to monitor kids before you know them properly. ###### |
So if the name didn’t give enough explanation, here is some back story. My brother is slightly special needs. Nothing major. He mainly acts younger than his age. There may be some mental stuff there but my parents never told me about any.
Anyways, my brother loves fire alarms. He plays with them like toys, constantly plays with the ones in the house, buys some for play use etc. These are completely real fire alarms mind you. My parents are completely okay with this and buy him more and more constantly. He has over 50 now.
I personally hate this. I am the only other sibling and having to hear alarms constantly (any time of the day. Morning, night, etc. if I had a dime for every time I’ve woken up at 5am because of it, I’d be rich) is not only incredibly annoying but dangerous as well. My family has become desensitized to fire alarms since they always assume it’s him now.
Pretty regularly I get angry about this whole thing and try talking to my mom about it. She usually ignores me or gets angry saying how I don’t have a right to dislike his interest/think they should get rid of them. They say I’m incredibly rude for thinking it needs to stop since it’s what he likes. Because of his special needs, I’m wondering if I am rude to think he should stop what he likes. However, I feel like my feelings are completely justified. What do you all think? Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. Fire alarms are lifesaving tools, your mom should've taught him that they are not toys. I can't imagine how stressful it must be to hear them constantly, but it's incredibly dangerous too. ###### |
First post here and I know the title is ridiculous but I’m being yelled at for it by my roommates.
Most of the time we’ve all lived together, we have ordered out. We have had a few home cooked meals. And earlier tonight was one of those times. They made me do the dishes used to cook the food, which I was ok with.
But they tried making me do their dishes and our friends that were over dishes and tried to say they do that for me all the time which is not true bc I haven’t forgotten to wash them once.
I know this is a silly thing but like I mtired of being ridiculed and yelled at for things that only my roommates do and they know it.
AITA for not wanting to keep doing others dishes they purposely leave and try to make me do? ###### | NTA. Find better roommates. ###### |
It's a relatively short story but tldr at bottom.
My partner and I were watching TV together when an advertisement for a sports show with a female presenter came on. I jokingly said 'no-one cares' and flicked to a different channel, though my partner adds to my comment; "Yeah, if anyone did care, they'd have the budget to get someone more attractive than her."
I was pretty upset with the comment and I mentioned to him that she could actually be really good at what she does, thus why they opted to have her as the presenter. I also mentioned that the male presenter on that same show wasn't exactly the most attractive man in the world but doesn't get the same sorta comments about getting someone more attractive than him on the show.
I feel bad because I made my partner feel incredibly guilty, but as a woman, I know I don't want my self worth and what I'm capable of to be judged by how I look.
AITA for getting upset over this?
TL;dr - bf mentioned a how a female presenter could be replaced by someone more attractive if the show had more viewers and I disagree. ###### | NTA. Feeling guilty is an appropriate response to saying something rude and sexist. Talk it out. Healthy emotions should be felt, not avoided. ###### |
My little brother is a teenager, thinks he's going on 21. Unfortunately he's also trying to come off as a hard ass and also for the ladies, a sensitive young man, "a nice guy". That's not a problem, but he also is very stupid about what he posts to social media. Cringy Tik Toks, and the like. About being a bad ass "nice guy".
After being warned again, he puts some cringy shit on his story, and we all bring it to the family group chat. (This is not exclusively him, I've been the butt of jokes as well do to a nerdy tattoo for example, we all have). We just kinda sibling teased him, the usual "get your shit together, you're gonna hate yourself later for this" and he got PISSED. We get along 98% of the time, have a good relationship with all of us, he thinks of them as siblings as well (he's said in his own words.)
He snapped me in private, ranting about how I should be defending him because we are blood related and my stepsiblings aren't. He says I'm a shitty sister for taking their side on this, and he can't understand why the hell I don't defend him and I'm supposed to love him more because we are fully related.
I just said along the lines of "I love all of you equally, and while it's a different type of love, I still think you're being stupid and need to be called out." He's raging at me now, and mom my agrees with him. Im supposed support him more and defend him just because he's my full brother, no matter what, according to her.
So AITA? ###### | NTA. Family relations shouldn't determine what side you take and you shouldnt be manipulated to do so. ###### |
My sister is having her high school graduation parade soon instead of the normal graduation due to coronavirus. Our school requires us to wear black under our gowns. She already has a black dress that fits her just fine. I have a black dress that I bought specifically for graduation last year. My sister and my mom want my sister to wear my dress instead of the one she already has.
I suppose it may seem petty but I don’t really want to let her wear it if she already has something to wear and you won’t see the difference under a gown anyway. Normally I let my sister borrow stuff from my closet (she’s even worn a dress I bought for myself for homecoming before I got to wear it). The dress just means a lot to me because my grandma picked it out. I wear it for many special occasions and even interviews- it’s like a lucky dress. I want to be nice because of everything she’s going through because of coronavirus but she has been online shopping this entire pandemic and could have bought her own dress if she didn’t like the one she already has.
Please advise. Thanks. ###### | NTA. Explain you your Mom and Sister exactly how you said it here. I am sure they will understand the sentiment. ###### |
So I haven’t worn a bra in like 3 years, I’m only a B cup and I just find them uncomfortable. It’s not like I’m wearing see through shirts or anything but I guess yeah if you look you can see the outline of my nipple.
I’ve been working at this job for almost two years and it’s never been an issue but yesterday an older coworker approached me and asked if I could start wearing a bra to work because she doesn’t like me “throwing my body around”. I basically told her yeah sorry but no, I don’t even own a bra and it’s not part of dress code from what I’ve ever noticed.
She huffed and walked off but now I’m about to head into my shift today and I’m getting anxious on if I’m in the wrong here. AITA for not wearing bras? ###### | NTA. Existing in your body does not constitute "throwing it around", your coworker sounds like a puritan who doesn't understand she can just avert her eyes instead of forcing other people to subscribe to her precise way of existing. Fuck her. ###### |
Soooo, due to Covid I’ve been furloughed since March and am still hanging on on until I’m called back in for duty. A huge side effect of this has been on my sleep pattern. I’ve fallen out of my pattern and I’m just not sleepy at 10pm like I was when I was working full time.
During this I’ve effectively become a housewife. I do all the cleaning, cooking and laundry. Im absolutely fine with that, but these chores take up a fraction of my day.
I’m bored out of my mind and it is making me restless, anxious and definitely out of sorts. I’m having major sleep issues that are starting to create issues with my other half.
He’s a snorer, a grinder of teeth and a fidgeter. I get so annoyed in bed that I’ve started to sleep in the spare room on a regular basis. It’s the only way I can get space and relax.
These are not new issues. He’s obviously always done this but now that he drops off before me I can’t tolerate it. Previously my sleep was deeper because I was tired.
He’s now starting to get very annoyed that I’m not sleeping in our bed. I often start the night there and move in the night. I’ve tried to explain that I’m finding it difficult but I know he’s angry every time he wakes to find I’ve gone to the other room.
It’s starting to affect our relationship now as I think he feels neglected. ###### | NTA. Everyone’s nerves are pretty fried these days.
Try sleeping with a fan on or a white noise app. I can’t sleep with anyone else in the room without white noise. ###### |
I'm a young'un and live with my father and sister, we have two chihuahuas and I recently brought up how I was slowly teaching them the "quiet" command, where once they are barking and quiet down you give them the command "quiet" and a small treat, just to keep form excessive noise, because during the day they will bark until you intervene.
My da' is heavily against teaching them this command and says it goes against their natural instincts, he believes it's inhumane and wrong to teach them the "quiet" command, I reminded him it'd only be on command so they can still bark as a warning for intruders or knocking and such, but he insists that it's wrong to teach them. He says they "can't" be trained the command because they're too small or something along those lines. ###### | NTA. Everyone should teach their dogs this basic command. It goes right along with “sit,” “stay,” “lie down,” “no,” and how to not jump up on people. Usually people who don’t take the time to work with their dogs on these commands have annoying, insufferable dogs that can’t be taken anywhere (or conversely, why no one would want to come over). He’s wrong on every facet.
Edit: Like someone else said, keep up the good work. It’s great mental stimulation for your doggo, too. ###### |
I (19m) am living at home with my parents right now because of my campus's closing and have no real expenses while quarantined since they pay for most of our food, and my brother (25m) is home from medical school now too. I am making a fair amount of money tutoring students remotely over the summer, and I was told today by my mom and dad today that I should give my brother the money I'm making to help him pay down some of his undergrad student loans.
Their argument is as follows. His undergrad cost a lot because his school was private, but mine cost very little because mine was public. His med school finances are a separate issue. Basically, if it wasn't for his "mistake" of taking on so much debt first, I wouldn't have known to make the smart choice of saving myself from it.
To be clear, my brother has helped me to pay for things like a car and a computer, but I have paid him back each time. He has helped me out when he did not have to do so before, then, but it seems like I'm being punished ultimately for making a better choice early on. I think my parents really want to help fix his problems, and I think he is pretty nervous about money himself, but I don't understand it to be my moral obligation to support him. Furthermore, I did not enjoy the perks that he did from going to a more expensive school.
So finally, I told them I would not give him the money that I am making this summer. AITA? ###### | NTA. Everyone knows private school is more expensive and HE'S GOING TO MEDICAL SCHOOL. He will be able to pay off his loans once he gets into practice. If he's concerned about money, he can specialize.
The fact that *anyone* asked you to contribute is beyond the pale. ###### |
My daughter and I are not close anymore and I've been 'cut off' for the past year due to my opinions on her having a second child at 19 when both her and her fiance are still studying and don't have jobs. It was a hardly necessary and drastic decision on her end but it's what she wishes so I backed off and since we haven't spoken.
Last week Wednesday, my sons arrived in town to visit my wife and I. During one of our conversations, the eldest mentioned that they were thinking of driving over to my daughter's apartment for her birthday on Sunday and asked if I wanted to come along. I reminded them that I was still cut off so I doubt she wants me over. They said it was ridiculous that she was still doing this so they won't go anymore till she realizes that. I told them they didn't have to do that solely for me but they still stuck to it. Sunday came and went and the three of them still hadn't changed their minds and didn't visit or call her. My wife was the only one who called and also informed my daughter on why they didn't call when she asked. My wife says she went quiet and didn't talk much for the rest of the call.
This morning I woke up to messages from her fiance telling me how much of an asshole for turning my son's against her. ###### | NTA. Everyone is an adult here, no need to force your sons to do anything. You’re not the asshole for not supporting your daughter either. She and her fiancé don’t sound to be in any position to try for a second kid. If the daughter was so upset, she’d get over herself, realize she was being selfish, and both of you could try to mend that relationship. ###### |
I'll keep this short as possible.
Going into my 40's and the idea of having another kid at this time is NOT on my agenda. My gf of 3yrs and I have a beautiful 2yr old. Life happened and she came to the world unexpectedly. Ive been all in and been there for everything. I love my daughter like ive never thought id love someone so small.
However, she wants another kid knowing well that I do not. We've talked about it and I made my point loud and clear that I do NOT want another child.
This was about six months ago. Recently, she's been bringing the subject up again, saying how her fam wants us to have another child and guilt trips me about it. She says that our baby is going to grow up alone and no one to talk to. Some family and friends have joined in as well, saying I'm being selfish and I'm keeping her from experiencing having a sibling. I reply that she has cousins and she'll have friends, so I'm not worried.
I've also been thinking of getting a vasectomy lately. Why? Because I don't want more kids.
An I the asshole for refusing to have a second child?
(Writing this on my 10min break. Sorry for the grammer) ###### | NTA. Everyone else voicing their opinions and guilt tripping you can STFU. This is just as much your choice as it is hers. If you aren't willing to have another child, its honestly better you don't. ###### |
Throwaway because my family members use reddit.
I (13F) finally got my own room after years of having to share it with my sister (10F). From the age of 5 to 11, I had to share a room with her, and it was awful. She would take my stuff and throw it on the ground, this caused my mother to think I was creating the messes. This would cause me to be yelled at and forced to stay in my room all day cleaning it up. When I was 12, we moved, where I had to share a smaller room with her.
Not even a week moving in, my sister created a huge mess. At that point, I said "screw it" and started sleeping on the couch, as I did not want to deal with her. Eventually, after I turned 13, we moved again, this time, it was just my mother and I who moved. My two older siblings went to live with their father, and my little sister went to live with her father. I finally have my own room, I keep it clean and tidy.
Because of the virus, my sister has been living with us because her father doesn't have a computer to do schoolwork. She is still as messy as ever, and I told her she cannot go into my room unless I say she can. This is mostly because I don't want her to make a mess that I have to clean up. Her messes are awful too, one time we found ants in our room because she left food out. Even still, when she comes into my room, she leaves her trash everywhere.
My mother thinks that I'm being unfair to my sister. I've tried explaining it to her, but she doesn't listen to me at all. So reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. Everyone deserves privacy. ###### |
I (21F) was on the phone with my grandma and she was telling me how she has a weasel/ferret animal holed up in her stable, and she needs to call an exterminator.
She lives in a different country and we were speaking a different language. The world for the animal doesn’t have a direct translation, but it sounds like “co*n”.
I asked her,(not in English) “So when do you think the extermination will come for the *koona*” (that’s roughly how the word is pronounced.
I was in my room but I went out to the kitchen to make tea when I said that sentenced. My English speaking roommate looked at me funny but I didn’t think much of it.
I went back out and she said, “You shouldn’t say slurs like that. It’s not your word to say and I thought you knew better.”
I look at her, still very lost. “What are you talking about? I wasn’t even speaking English, you don’t even know what I said.”
She explained what she thought I said, and told me it’s very insensitive that I throw that word around.
So I tell her, “I didn’t say that word. What I said was weasel. Why would I randomly switch to English and say a racial slur to my grandma?”
She doesn’t let up, and proceeds to call me insensitive and that I need to learn to be more politically correct.
I tell her, “Just because words sound similar, it doesn’t mean I said what you think. My word, which means weasel, also has a different ending. Can we drop this conversation?”
She doesn’t say anything else and we both went to our separate rooms. AITA for how I handled it? ###### | NTA. Every slur in English probably has an equivalent sounding word in another language that means something entirely different.
​
I assume that it also works the other way around. I'm sure that there are harmless English words that are the worst swear words imaginable in other languages.
​
They might mean well, but they need to be exposed to other cultures. ###### |
I was talking with my friend who is very sheltered and didn’t know there were people who weren’t straight or cis. Anyway, we were talking and at some point I said “me and my girlfriend have been dying to see each other again” and she said “I thought you hated when girls referred to there girl-friends as girlfriends?” I said, “I do but I mean she is actually my girlfriend like we are in a relationship” she was very confused and so was I, so the following conversation occurred.
K: why are you dating a girl if you’re a girl? Only males and females can be attracted to each other
Me: well no actually, men can be in romantic relationships with men and women can be in romantic relationships with women
K: that doesn’t make any sense. Why would you date someone you don’t like?
Me: well... you shouldn’t. We do like each other, that’s why we are dating. You can feel romantically attracted to the same gender. You can be gay, or bi, or pan, or poly, or omni.
K: what do all those mean and what are you and your “girl...friend”
*i explain*
2 days later
K: this is K’s parents and apparently you told our daughter about the gays.
Me: yes I did is there a problem?
K: yeah we didn’t want a corrupt gay daughter but now because of you we might not be able to fix her
Me: she isn’t gay, and she isn’t corrupt
K: we will be blocking you off of her phone now please do not speak to her at school
I feel like I did the right thing but I also feel like maybe it wasn’t my place to teach. So AITA ###### | NTA. Even though I have to admit it is a difficult situation. She is your friend , you have a girlfriend , she was bound to find out eventually. (if not through you , probably through sex ed. Or being out in public even.) I think it would’ve been a bigger shock if she would’ve seen you and your girlfriend together and for example share a kiss or something? I assume her parents are strictly religious? I think you can not shelter your kid from life like that and just not talk about gay people and pretend “we aren’t real”.
Me and my partner are both male , he came from a very sheltered religious family. He didn’t know what being gay even meant or that it existed , still he knew he was even if no one talked about it.
I feel bad for your friend because of that. No matter what her sexuality might be... I think her parents are emotionally abusive. I’ve seen the damage it can do because of my partner. You were just being yourself don’t feel guilty for that please! I hope you opened your friend’s eyes in a way... Love is important no matter in what form. I hope she learned that lesson because of you. ###### |
Okay, throwaway because my boyfriend knows my other account.
I (23f) moved in with my boyfriend (24m) of two years a couple months ago. We haven’t had any problems before this argument. Things had been going pretty well.
Anyways, a couple days ago, I got my period. It came early and I had ran out of pads. I couldn’t leave to buy some because I bleed pretty heavily and I would’ve bled through my pants. So I asked my boyfriend if he could buy pads for me from the drugstore, because it was late. He immediately said no. I was shocked because I wasn’t really expecting that.
I asked him why. He said that he didn’t want the cashier to see him buying pads. At this point I started laughing because that was hilarious. He wasn’t joking though. He just glared at me. I told him that the cashier would obviously know it wasn’t for him. Plus, the cashier would definitely not care what he was buying. He still refused. I told him that he could go to the self checkout machine if he was so insecure, but he said that he didn’t want anyone to see him with the pads because they’d think he was a “tr***y”. I told him that he was childish, and that his masculinity was really fragile if he couldn’t even buy pads for his own girlfriend. He got mad and went out. I had to bunch up toilet paper as a makeshift pad, wear black pants and a long cardigan and go buy the pads myself. My boyfriend has been ignoring me ever since. I’ve been thinking that maybe I might’ve pushed it too far.
So AITA for telling my boyfriend that his masculinity was fragile after he refused to buy pads for me? ###### | NTA. Even my aunts 11 year old son who didn’t even know much about anything at that age went to buy her pads once. She forgot to restock and then couldn’t get up because of terrible, excruciating cramps so as soon as she said she needed some female hygiene products for her period, the kid misunderstood a bit, stormed out, stormed into the drug store and basically yelled “help! I need to buy mom some pads because she’s bleeding and if I don’t bring her pads she’ll die!”
We laugh about it at every family gathering to this day. ###### |
Ok, here's the story. My grandparents have 5 grandkids. Me and my younger brother and my 3 cousins who are siblings. The eldest cousin, we will call him Johnny \[30\], is a bit of a jerk. Since puberty, he has sort of blown off my family, never really came around for events - birthdays, holidays, etc. Even when he is there, he just sort of does his own thing and cuts out early.
Anyways, my grandparents are fed up with him and his attitude. He's not a bad person, just more interested in his friends / hobbies than his extended family. My grandparents are getting up there in age \[late 80s\] and decided to dole out inheritance money for the 5 kids grandkids - 10k each! However, Johnny isn't getting any, because they feel like he never cared about them or our family.
Now this is when it gets complicated. Johnny is a bit of an "alpha" personality and he's convinced his younger siblings \[26 and 21\] DON'T accept the 10k from our grandparents because they're just giving it to them in spite of him, to show that they don't like him and he's the black sheep of the family.
Johnny is now texting my brother \[25\] the same thing, who is easily manipulated and trying to decide if he's going to go along with his cousins and not take the money. Johnny hasn't spoken to me yet, probably because he knows I will tell him to take a hike.
I for one will be taking the money because Johnny is a jerk. I agree our grandparents tend to be petty and this act is probably more to prove a point, but why would I deny myself my inheritance?
So anyways, Johnny is not getting an inheritance, his siblings supposedly are not accepting it and my brother may not be either. But I am happily taking it.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Even if your grandparents aren’t being fair to Johnny, what kind of jerk tries to stop everyone else from getting something just because he isn’t getting anything? No way would I want to stop my siblings or cousins from taking money that could help them out a lot.
There’s a BIG difference between “it hurts than gran and gramps left me out” and “if I’m left out, none of y’all should get any either and I’m going to try to manipulate you into turning it down”. ###### |
Title says most of it. I will preface and say that I am angry typing right now.
So I have today off work. One glorious day. I am 18 weeks pregnant, so my body is already starting to hurt, but I am a nurse- so my feet are pounding from 16 hour shifts.
I usually get up at 345 to get ready to be at work by 430. I leave the house quietly, after packing lunch for husband +2 kids, making sure everything is in order, and feeding/letting dogs out. I’ve always been the person who sees the sun and thinks “oh hey- time to get up!” Sometimes I can fall back asleep, but it’s rare.
So husbands alarms start going off at 5a. Automatically, I’m up. He lets the dogs out, and gets back in bed. Alarms continue to go off. I swear this man can sleep through anything. But please- tell me why the fuck your alarms are set at 5 when you don’t have to be at work until 10, and you don’t even work today?! Most days he doesn’t even think about getting up until around 8.
I asked him to please let the dogs in so that I could sleep a little longer. Kids are still asleep, no worry there. Just please let the dogs in so that they’ll stop barking at the neighbors rooster. Didn’t ask him to feed them, nothing.
And that’s when I go hit with “why are you so lazy in the morning? Some of us want to sleep too!!”
Now I’m wondering if I truly am TA, because I wanted to sleep a little. Or if he’s TA who refuses to get his ass up and help out a little. ###### | NTA. Even if you weren’t pregnant, that’s an asshole response, but it’s extra terrible because you are pregnant.
Is he one of those guys who thinks pregnancy hormones are an excuse and not legitimate? His response immediately makes me think he might be trash. ###### |
Ever since my (28M) gym closed a few months ago, I've developed a pretty well-stocked home gym in my garage. The only problem is my garage is terribly lit, dim, and depressing. I've been working out with the door open for natural light, usually early in the mornings when nobody's out.
Yesterday I slept in pretty late, and only got to working out at 11. 15 minutes in, my neighbor who was doing gardening work across the street yelled over that I should "quit showing off"
I put on a tank top (I'd just been wearing leggings up to that point) and partially closed the garage door, but she sighed and shook her head on and off until she went inside.
AITA here? I was behind a bookshelf most of the time and I didn't think she'd see me. ###### | NTA. Even if you were showing off, which it doesn't seem like, you aren't doing anything inappropriate and you're doing it in your own house. Your neighbor needs to mind their business. ###### |
We've been dating for about 18 months now and living together for just over 8. Her apartments closer to both of our works. Her sister (S) moved in 2 months ago as she's pregnant, her husbands in the army and the rest of the families in a different state.
My GFs a nurse and has been working some pretty long hours, to take the load of my GF I've been pretty much doing all the cooking, washing and cleaning.
I have a lot of work to do so I'm just pretty much keeping to myself and not really trying to inconvenience anyone. I eat around after every 3 hours so whenever I eat I also make a little something for her as well.
So the problem is that whenever GF gets off from work she always ends up having to giver her sister a massage which I suspect is because she's pregnant but I don't know. GF and I got into a sort of whisper argument where she called me an AH as I should help S out when she's in pain.
Her reasons for:
* AH move not helping a pregnant women when she's in pain
* GF is stressed & tired with having to work long hours and would rather spend what little time she has relaxing
* I give GF massages when she's sore so whats the difference
* And I give good massages (mom was a masseuse)
My reason:
* Its a bit weird giving someone you're not close to a massage
We kind of agreed to continue the conversation in the morning when she wakes for her shift, bit I need to know whether I'm in the wrong or not so that's why I'm here. ###### | NTA. Even if you were a professional masseuse you can deny clients for any reason.
You give your GF massages at your discretion, and it's inappropriate for her to pressure you to do something you feel uncomfortable with. If she feels tired she's free to refuse to massage her sister.
Also pregnancy is not a free-pass to be catered to. The sister is free to pay for a massage or soak her feet or take a long bath to alleviate any soreness pregnancy might have on her. ###### |
So I (F19) had an argument with my step mom and dad the other night. It wasn’t related to my clothing but because of the argument, my step mom started listing off things the doesn’t like that I’ve been doing.
One of those things, the thing I believe is unreasonably at best and highly misogynistic at worst, is that I need to be dressing more modestly around the house. She “hates to see my ass and tits hanging out all the time”. She also said “I don’t know why you dress like that around your father.” Which I find to be disgusting. So let’s break it down..
•She is 15 weeks pregnant
•She does not leave her room EVER (which I understand because I’m a mom too)
•I have been living here three weeks and neither of my parents have complained until now about ANYTHING.
•I have followed all of the rules they bothered to tell me upon moving in.
•I paid rent on time plus groceries which was nearly half of my monthly paycheck.
She and I have butt heads before because I am an atheist and she is Mormon. They want me to come to church, I refuse. They want to teach my toddler daughter about God, I refuse. So the relationship there is already unsteady.
I told her that she obviously has a lot of internalized misogyny to try and slut shame me over my clothes. She thinks I need to apologize for saying that and now my dad is accusing me of ruining their marriage.
But the way I see it, she refuses to accept me for who I am, she doesn’t respect my beliefs the way I’ve respected hers, and now she’s telling me that I have no self-respect because of the way I dress. I feel as though she owes me an apology. I just made her a birthday cake from scratch and and homemade frosting because the canned stuff makes her sick. I thought we’d bond more now that she’s pregnant and we had something in common. But I suppose not.
I’m truly hurt by what she said and I’m hurt that my dad is blaming me for her being angry with him. ###### | NTA. Even if you live in her home, your stepmother has no right to say what you should and shouldn't use. You can use whatever you want.
She who needs to apologize to you and start respecting your decisions.
And you must go to live somewhere else far from it. ###### |
I (48M) recently won the lottery. Before you congratulate me too much, it was a local state lottery and certainly not a Mega Millions or Powerball jackpot. However it is enough to help me buy a moderately priced house and my take care of my debts with enough left over to have an investment account. I don't plan on quitting my job or anything drastic.
My Ex-GF (45F) broke up with me 6 weeks ago. We have been separated since February because of the lock-down. She is in a state with extreme lock-down orders so it is impossible for me to go back. About 6 weeks ago she called me and said it's over, she can't live like this etc. I didn't disagree, and we have been civil since.
Through a mutual friend she found out about my win, and when we talked she called me to discuss what 'we' were going to do with this money. I explained to her I won after we had broken up, and she is mad at me. She also called me stupid for buying lottery tickets int he first place.
Our mutual friend thinks I am the AH, but my family thinks I am in the right. AITA? ###### | Nta. Even if you had been dating you wouldn't have owed her anything ###### |
Okay, I'll try to keep this short.
I'm a digital artist and graphic designer. I've mostly done it for fun until recently, when a peer wanted to commission a piece. This led to a small wave of commissions, which has been great. No issues with what I charge and it's gone smoothly.
It was suggested that I try to get more visibility in our local drag scene, because there's a demand for art and graphic design and they also like to commission locally. To do this, I offered a peer who is active in the drag scene a buy-one-get-one deal. They pay for one piece (for one of their drag personas) and I would do a second logo design for free.
Well, I finished the first one. They loved it but when it came time for payment, they were dodgy and hard to contact. It ultimately took them two months to finally pay me. During those two months, though, they used the image in multiple places (mostly with no credit to me at all). I even found out through a friend that they made prints of it as an auction item without talking to me or crediting me. Again, this was all before I was even paid.
I understand that I am definitely a naive idiot for not protecting myself. There is no contract regarding terms of use and I was stupid enough to send them the art with no watermark before getting any kind of payment. That's on me, I guess. Lesson fully learned.
But regardless, they were someone I thought of as a friend and I feel very used. They're now pestering me for the free second design. WIBTA if I say no? My friends and SO are emphatically telling me not to give them free art, but I feel bad, since I did technically offer it. ###### | NTA. Even if you didn’t have them sign a terms of use or add a watermark, they knew what they were doing was wrong. Just tell them they got enough free use of the first piece before they paid you. ###### |
Long story short, my father has drinking problems - he has been getting drunk every day for 10 years. As his drinking got worse, he had to close his small business and now works as a secretary for a smaller wage. Everything he earns goes on alcohol and smoking and so does my mom's money which she gives him to drink.
Until I have moved out, they have lived entirely on my monthly scholarship which is less than 250 euros and expected me to pay bills and buy them food after wasting their money on this addiction (mom never drinks, but refuses to break up). After I moved out, mom had emotional meltdowns every day. Now that I am jobless, I have to live again with them. Since she had no money to pay the bills, the municipality has threatened to cut the electricity off. It's very unsure whether I will live here for 1 more month or 12 more months. I may pay the bills this month because I need Internet connection to attend college, but can I live this life forever? Can THEY live this life forever, avoiding being responsible humans? I have talked to them several times, but it leads to nothing. They have a very fatalistic view on life and think everything is meant to be this way because it's their destiny.
She thinks the same as most people her age in my country, that children, regardless of age, have to give parents financial aid because they have raised them for so many years. If my parents were jobless I would gladly give them financial aid, but since they work and spend father decides to be an alcoholic and my mom sacrifices her needs for my amazing father, it angers me that they choose to avoid their responsibilities and expect me to be their saviour my entire life. ###### | NTA. Even if you did give your mom for bills, she would most likely give it to your dad. They need to grow up! They are very irresponsible especially your mom. The reason why I say your mom is because instead of using her money to pay bills, she willingly gives it to your dad. I’m not blaming your mom for dad being an alcoholic but she is his enabler when she gives him money for his vices. Your mom could benefit from counseling and possibly financial literacy help. It’s not your job to be their savior. If anything they should be helping you right now, not the other way around! ###### |
Two days ago my(22F) dad (52) accidentally found out that I‘m gay. I was listening to music and was on Tinder and didn’t notice that he was in the room. He came up behind me and saw what I was doing. There was no point in denying it (he knows how the app works) and I thought that this might be the time to finally get the truth out.
Judging by the title you can already guess that it didn’t go well. He started yelling that I was throwing my life away, how disgusting same-sex relationships are and the list goes on. He didn’t let me explain myself at all and left me crying in the room but not before calling me a waste of space. That hurt so much I can‘t even explain it. He had made a few homophobic comments before and I wasn’t sure how he would take my coming out. But I guess I’ve always thought he would be somewhat supportive of his own daughter. I called a friend who picked me up that night and she lets me stay at her place for as long as I need. He reached out yesterday and said he wanted to talk and apologized saying he said all that on the spur of the moment. I haven’t answered yet and don’t really feel like talking. My friends say I don’t owe him anything but he‘s practically all the family I have left and maybe he will come around. ###### | NTA. Even if you choose to repair this relationship it will be on your terms, not his. ###### |
My older brother's (23M) GF, Linda (24F) has been living with us since November after her parents kicked her out. She's really nice and we normally get along. She's a huge fashion girl and wears the most beautiful clothes, and she's been a great help for fashion advice.
Me (17F) and my younger brother and sister (13F) and (11F) were playing football out in the garden, and Linda was hanging out there too. As usual she was dressed her best. The ball ended up near her and I asked her to kick it back but she was wearing designer shoes.
''I'm not touching that thing with my shoes'' she said.
The ball was not dirty at all and I thought she was being silly, so I called her a diva and said tapping a ball wouldn't ruin her shoes. She just gave me a look and went inside, and later my brother had a go at me for being ''nasty'' to Linda.
How was that nasty? I asked her to tap the ball which wasn't dirty back to me. It wouldn't have done anything to her shoes. I don't see why she made such a fuss and was being a diva about it. ###### | NTA. Even if she didn't want to kick it with her shoes she could have thrown it back, taken her shoe off and kicked it, or even hit with something that wasn't around her she was being a diva ###### |
I've been dating Jesse for six months and for the most part things are going good. Sometimes I worry that our personalities are too different, but for now I'm happy. My sister got married last weekend at our parents beach house. It was just immediate family and Jesse and I were planning on staying at the house.
Jesse and my dad don't really click. My dad is very much a man's man and just doesn't have much in common with Jesse. While we were there my mom was saying that she is so glad she convinced my dad to trade the lake house we used to have for the beach house, and we were all talking about how isolated and creepy the lake house was. My sister brought up one time when we were in high school and my dad said he had a work emergency and had to go help his business partner out, but he actually just took his car up the road a bit.
So the three of us thought we were alone and he came back about thirty minutes later with a Michael Meyers mask (my mom hates that movie) and scared the fuck out of us. I mean it wasn't funny in the moment but all three of us laughed afterwards. Jesse said that is fucked up and kind of mental abuse. My mom got angry and I don't blame her because abuse is a serious word to throw around. Jesse continued to fight with my parents about the actual definition of abuse and then my sister called him a pussy. My dad ended up throwing him out, but I stayed. I was tired, I thought he was in the wrong, and I didn't want to go to a hotel. Now Jesse is mad at me for staying somewhere he wasn't welcome. ###### | NTA. Even if Jesse finds the joke distasteful, it’s not his business to confront your parents like that. If he really is concerned, he could’ve waited til you two were in private and discuss. He was out of line.
Info: how old are you two? ###### |
This happened a while ago, but my friend still brings it up and says I’m a jerk. A little bit of background: I work in an industry that people tend to abuse the service animal policy to let their pets travel for free. I’ve had incidents were “service animals” attacked people and other pets and honestly it makes me really upset. I personally dislike it when people abuse the service animal policies.
My friend on the other hand uses the service animal thing every where. Granted, her dog (a wiener dog) is an emotional support animal but not a service animal. I’ve told her countless times that a SA and an ESA are not the same and that her dog really shouldn’t be out in public places like stores because her dog will growl at others. She told me that she NEEDS her dog to feel safe. Fine.
So one day my friend and I went to an ice cream shop. She put her dog into her bag and we walk in. Right away, my friend’s dog growled at the person in front of us and lady behind the desk looked at my friend and said, “Sorry, no pets allowed.”
My friend then snapped, “She’s a service animal!”
Honestly, as soon as my friend snapped at the lady, I was pretty much done with her using the SA. So, without skipping a beat, I look at my friend and said, “Hey, you know, Fluffy is an emotional support animal... not a service animal... don’t give the lady a hard time for doing her job.”
After I said that, my friend got PISSED at me. Without saying anything, she turned her heel and stormed out. Feeling bad, I bought my friend and myself some ice cream but yah.. to this day, she still brings it up and tells my friends that I’m a rat.
So yah... here I am, asking the internet if I’m an asshole because I’m tired of my friend lying about her dog.
Tl;dr- AITA for ratting out my friend out in front of a ice cream shop about her “service animal”? ###### | NTA. Even a fully licensed service dog can get kicked out of places for being aggressive. Growling is an aggressive move. If she can't train the dog and socialize it better, then she will have to get used to being booted from stores and such. ###### |
I was looking at an Instagram video of two black teens giving clothes and shoes to a white guy (yes, race is important here) because he was bullied in school for his clothes. It was really wholesome and to me did not at all make the impression that it was for clout.
I went on to look at the comments and saw some guy commenting „They just gave back what they stole anyways“ and then replying to other comments making it clear he was racist. I checked his profile and it turned out he was/is a student athlete at high school and playing football for the varsity team. Long story short: I wrote an e-mail to the school asking them if it was okay with them that their players publicly out themselves as being racist and submitted screenshots of his profile and comments.
I haven‘t received a reply by the school yet, because this happened like 20 minutes ago but I am kinda wondering... did I do the right thing? I could have as well just minded my business, it was just an internet comment and it might cost him his career. ###### | NTA. especially after that racist tik tok that went viral, there's no excuse at this point for being publically bigoted. he knew the consequences. ###### |
Quick things to remember
•pregnant girlfriend
•we had a little scare 2 weeks ago which led to my girlfriend having to stay in the hospital for a total of 6 days regarding the baby.
•one of the doctors orders was to stay the least stressed possible
I work night shifts so the afternoon started just like any other until about three hours into my shift. My girlfriend sends me multiple text about how horrible her mother made her feel when she reviled to her she was getting the tdap shot. So I simply sent her mother a text that stated “With all do respect I would appreciate if you wouldn’t stress ally out over something so trivial as the tdap shot. I trust that she will do what she feels is best for her and the baby and we all need to respect that. We value the opinions of medical professionals far more than anything that can be googled. “ which she responds with “ Listen she's my daughter and I will inform of what I wish . With all do respect . “ so at this point I’m pretty livid and sent a not so nice text next,using some profanity while reminding her of the incident we had just gone through. She proceeded to tell me how this is an issue that only deals with her and her daughter (my girlfriend). I remind her that the baby inside her daughter is also mine which makes this my issue, while letting her know that just because she is grandma, doesn’t mean she’s entitled to be apart of my sons life. ###### | NTA. Entitled grandparents piss me the hell off. I think you’ll find (as I did) that with children entering the picture, now is THE time to set boundaries for yourself, your partner, your children, and your family unit. I’ve seen and heard stories of people cutting out parents/relatives for much less. Your concern is for your partner and your unborn child, as it should be, and this is a matter of safety. And you are right, grandparents are not entitled to access to their grandchildren. It is a privilege they earn by honoring your wishes as the parents, and your boundaries. Sending you and your girlfriend the best wishes! ###### |
So some backstory. I have non epileptic seizures that were pretty bad for a while. At that time, we also didn’t know they weren’t epileptic. I was in and out of hospital, in ICUs and medically induced comas, and couldn’t work. It also wrecked my mental health for a while. At the same time, my brother has been living rent free with my parents and is seen as the golden son, despite a long history of theft, violence, and manipulation.
My family had a pretty serious issue with it. They wouldn’t visit while I was in hospital and refused my wife any help when she asked. Last year around easter, I got an email (while in hospital) that I wasn’t welcome home because my illness was disruptive and my mental health “shenanigans” were not welcome. I was deeply hurt. This was the last straw after a year of limited support and while we’ve worked on things since, they’re still very snippy or dismissive if I mention how my health is improving and the progress I’ve been making.
On one hand, I get it. I was probably a little whiny. We thought I was dying or would need brain surgery. We were scared and needed some support and maybe went about asking for it the wrong way. During this time, my mom also had knee surgery (we didn’t ask for help while she recovered). But it still really feels wrong that a family who insist “family above all” couldn’t even make an effort to see me in hospital or allow me to see them and my niece when doing well enough to travel.
Next month, I’m moving with my wife to be with her family in Hawaii. I’ll be five thousand miles away and I’m planning to significantly reduce contact with my family when I move. Am I the asshole for planning this? Should I be giving them another chance? Or am I in the right to cut them out? ###### | NTA. Enjoy Hawaii! And hopefully more supportive in-laws... ###### |
This happened a while ago, but my friend still brings it up and says I’m a jerk. A little bit of background: I work in an industry that people tend to abuse the service animal policy to let their pets travel for free. I’ve had incidents were “service animals” attacked people and other pets and honestly it makes me really upset. I personally dislike it when people abuse the service animal policies.
My friend on the other hand uses the service animal thing every where. Granted, her dog (a wiener dog) is an emotional support animal but not a service animal. I’ve told her countless times that a SA and an ESA are not the same and that her dog really shouldn’t be out in public places like stores because her dog will growl at others. She told me that she NEEDS her dog to feel safe. Fine.
So one day my friend and I went to an ice cream shop. She put her dog into her bag and we walk in. Right away, my friend’s dog growled at the person in front of us and lady behind the desk looked at my friend and said, “Sorry, no pets allowed.”
My friend then snapped, “She’s a service animal!”
Honestly, as soon as my friend snapped at the lady, I was pretty much done with her using the SA. So, without skipping a beat, I look at my friend and said, “Hey, you know, Fluffy is an emotional support animal... not a service animal... don’t give the lady a hard time for doing her job.”
After I said that, my friend got PISSED at me. Without saying anything, she turned her heel and stormed out. Feeling bad, I bought my friend and myself some ice cream but yah.. to this day, she still brings it up and tells my friends that I’m a rat.
So yah... here I am, asking the internet if I’m an asshole because I’m tired of my friend lying about her dog.
Tl;dr- AITA for ratting out my friend out in front of a ice cream shop about her “service animal”? ###### | NTA. Emotional support animals and service animals aren't the same thing. Her dog may be important to her, but it's growling at people, that's not okay. ###### |
I (16) was on a call with my girlfriend (16) when my little sister (6) entered the room. She was being loud so I told her to leave and my girlfriend says "oh my god, I hate her", then I said "excuse me?" and she repeated "shes just annoying I don't like her.". I told her to knock it off and she got defensive. She said "I wasn't being disrespectful I didn't call her a bitch or a slut or call her any names". I hung up on her. We have been dating for about 1.25 years and my little sister has always loved her and I thought she loved my little sister too, but I guess not. And she keeps telling me im acting like a child and being disrespectful. Then she goes and talks to my friend, lets call him Brad. And brad messages me and says how I'm gonna lose her because I don't "have my shit in order" and I'm exaggerating. Now everyone is pissed at me because my girlfriend is saying shit about my little sister. AITA for being mad at my girlfriend? ###### | NTA. Dude...your girlfriend just told you she hates a 6 year old who is your sister....time to go bro ###### |
(On mobile) (TL;DR at bottom)
So due to the pandemic, I am working a lot less. Just a dozen hours or so a week online. My fiancee kept most of her hours as her work switched completely to online.
Her work involves a lot of phone calls and meetings where she wants everything to be quiet. Completely reasonable. Because of this, I'll be playing games or watching videos on my computer and use my gaming headset, which is pretty good at blocking out sound. I may hear her talking a bit, but I can't make out any of the words.
Lately, she has been getting upset with me because she would finish a phone call and start talking to me about something, but because I wasn't paying attention, I don't always notice her switch from talking on a work call to talking to me. I'm listening to something or watching something. It's only when she says my name slightly louder (and sometimes multiple times if I'm focused on what I'm watching or doing) that I notice she is talking to me, and take off my headset. This has been annoying her because she would then have to repeat what she was just said, which to be fair is one of her pet peeves (repeating herself).
She says it's rude of me to not listen when she is trying to talk to me, which is fair, but I don't think I should be forced to sit and wait in case she wants to tell me something or ask me something. Am I just being selfish? She has been the one having to work more, so I know she is stressed out. AITA?
TL;DR: Fiancee doesn't like me using my gaming headset because I can't hear when she is doing a work call or when she is taking to me, and I want to use my headset so I don't need to listen to her meetings and can watch videos or play games with sound. ###### | NTA. Dude, I am in the same boat as you right now. My partner seems to be under the impression that I somehow need to be 100% aware of when she wants to talk to me without any prompting and be able to immediately drop what I'm doing to listen to her. Since I am neither a mind reader, nor am I simply able to drop my work in a snap, she gets upset with me. It's incredibly frustrating for me because it honestly kind of feels like she thinks my entire world needs to revolve around her, and my work isn't important. ###### |
Okay, so a bit of a backstory here: I’m a teenager, so naturally i still live with my mom (my parents are divorced). I tend to have problems sleeping that result in me staying up until like three am. This doesn’t affect my energy throughout the day or anything, it’s just what I need to do to actually be able to sleep. Sleeping medication doesn’t work for me. So I’m always awake whenever the following occurs.
My mom doesn’t usually have trouble sleeping, but she does sometimes. And when she does, she thinks that the best thing for her to do is to crawl into my bed and try to snuggle with me. This makes me wildly uncomfortable because I dislike being touched like that unless I’m the one initiating. It’s also very uncomfortable for me physically because she tends to have warm skin and I absolutely hate heat when I sleep. I sleep without covers and with the fan on as high as I can set it. It’s also just really weird to me. I’m sixteen, and I feel as if she isn’t respecting my personal space and boundaries. I’ve brought the fact that I dislike this up to her and she still continues to do this. I have no idea why.
Today, I was up late, as I typically am, and she came in to try to get in my bed. I literally scooted as far away from her as I possibly could and kept shaking her off and asking her stuff like “why are you in my bed” and whatnot. She eventually left after a few minutes ( she usually stays for longer ). I know for a fact that in the morning, she’s going to make a comment about how it was rude of me to not let her cuddle with me in bed. But it genuinely makes me so uncomfortable and I hate it, and I’ve brought this up with her.
AITA for not letting her stay in my bed? ###### | NTA. Dude you're sixteen and this would be weird as fuck when youre thirteen too. I would voice your concerns and if she doesn't listen just straight up get out of bed when she tries. You're a human too and you have every right to have boundaries. ###### |
I have a special tequila I got as a gift. I really like tequila and it’s my only alcohol that I drink.
My boyfriend drank the entire bottle.... i was upset and asked why the fuck he always has to drink any alcohol if it’s in the house.
He was nice and proceeded to go to multiple stores to find the tequila to replace it but was unable to so he found an equivalent.
Two days later the tequila is gone. He drank the second replacement bottle.
AITA for being upset and concerned? He did buy this second bottle ###### | NTA. Drinking someone else's alcohol is just rude. But I think the bigger problem is that he drank an entire bottle of tequila in two days.... ###### |
I [F19] have kept in touch with my ex boyfriend [M18] since we broke up almost two years ago. We follow each other on Instagram and like each other pictures, that pretty much the extent of our communication.
Ex recently got a new girlfriend. I got a DM from him last night saying that his gf told him that he can’t follow any girls who don’t follow her on Insta, and she also has to be following them. He said that if I don’t follow her and accept her follow request, he’d have to unfollow me.
Some things about my Instagram: I have about 50 followers, and they’re all either friends from back home, or friends I’ve made in college. Basically, I know all of my followers. I don’t know who his new girlfriend is, even though we went to high school together. Not sure if this is relevant, but she has about 10k followers and is following 500+.
I read ex’s DM last night, not knowing what to do. When I woke up this morning, he blocked me on both of his accounts (one public, one private “finsta” account).
I feel like shit because I liked seeing what he was up to and all the traveling he did. But I can also see why his new girlfriend didn’t want him following his ex anymore. AITA for not following her, even though I don’t know who she is? ###### | NTA. Dont worry, hell follow you again after they break up ###### |
Obligatory apologies for being a mobile user and the rest of the blah blah blah.
My wife is pregnant with our first child, and I’m very happy. The other day, we’re having a conversation about the family around us and making plans, it was nice. Then it was mentioned about my father, who would obviously be ‘Grandad’ to the bump, and his wife.
A little background; my fathers wife and I do not get along, she’s a bully, and petty, and used to make me miserable to live at home, so much so that I joined the army the day after my birthday as a young teen to get away.
Now, because of this, I said that I didn’t want my children to call her ‘Nan’ but refer to her as her first name, as I do.
My wife says that I shouldn’t be this way, and that I’m an asshole for not wanting to allow our bump to feel like they have a full, supportive family network around them. She also expressed the concern that other kids may poke fun at bump when bump mentions visiting ‘Grandad and Firstname’ rather than ‘Grandad and Nan’
But for me, I feel that a title of privilege like that should be earned, and that she hasn’t show that she should be granted that title.
Am I an asshole? ###### | NTA. don’t give this woman a chance to make your kids life hell the way she did yours ###### |
This morning my mom (54F) asked me (24M) for $15k randomly. She has found that if she opens a new bank account and it has that amount for 3 months in it she will get $500 from the bank. I was pretty taken aback by this so I asked if I could think about it. She responds with going “Woooow, really?” and has been guilt tripping me for the past hour about it.
The thing is I live at home and do have the money and my expenses aren’t too bad with my salary so it wouldn’t cause me any problems other than the main reason for her getting a bank account: her and my dad (55M) are getting a divorce. If he were to find out about this money I know he would try to claim it as joint assets and I would end up losing it. My mom says he wouldn’t do that but she has been so naive about this whole divorce. She believes he is going to be all nice about everything and leave her the house and all the money in the joint bank account but ever since she told him she wanted a divorce he has been systematically destroying things in the house “by accident”. Hell, he still hasn’t moved out after 10 months and refuses to chip in for house expenses so I have been paying most of it.
Another thing is she has the same amount of funds in her savings so she could do it herself no problem. She keeps saying I “failed the test” and I don’t trust her. I would give her the money if she was already divorced from my dad because I don’t trust him at all. So AITA? ###### | NTA. Don’t do it. Tell her you’ll open the account in your name and then give her the $500 if she needs the help.
Also, she is being manipulative for saying you “failed the test.” ###### |
Hello!
As many probably already know, there is a strike planned tomorrow in the US for Amazon, Target, and Walmart workers, amongst a few others I'm sure I'm forgetting.
Well this past month I've been volunteering about once a week to shop for and deliver groceries to families in need, all families with children who are not in school right now and are struggling to eat. The local organization that does it takes donations and only shops at Walmart.
The group message I'm a part of sent out a message tonight asking who could volunteer to shop and deliver tomorrow. I felt very conflicted about this, and pointed out that there is a workers strike tomorrow, asking if we could possibly use a different grocery store for tomorrow only. I was met with a little defensiveness about how Walmart had done so much for our community etc. I said that that was understandable, however workers need rights and hazard pay during the pandemic as much as families need groceries.
I went on to say I would be ok with volunteering my time to deliver groceries to the families tomorrow but I just wasn't comfortable stepping foot inside a Walmart during a strike. I feel like I may have upset a few people and they likely view me as overdramatic and/or having messed up priorities. Am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA. Don’t cross the picket line! ###### |
My wife and I were planning to have a baby in the next two years. My wife's friend recently adopted a baby. All of a sudden now my wife wants to adopt a baby. I really don't want to adopt. I'm not even fully sold on a baby.
My wife is really angry and keeps saying I have a heart of stone and other similar thing because I don't save a child's Life.
So AITA for not wanting to adopt? ###### | NTA. Don’t be a parent to a kid you don’t want. ###### |
My brother and sister-in-law are both in the medical field. The coronavirus has them thinking about the possibility they leave their two underaged boys orphaned if the unthinkable were to happen. My brother’s wife asked if I would take care and custody of the boys if they both were to pass away for whatever reason. I initially told her I would do whatever they needed me to do, but that my sister who is already raising a family is probably better suited. I’m single with no kids, never married.
Here's the thing: I don’t like my brother. He was a terrible bully growing up who took every opportunity to tease, torment, and belittle me if he wasn’t simply neglecting my existence. He was selfish to the extreme and my parents, who were too busy trying to put food on the table, tolerated it and thus indulged it. We’ve never had a friendly relationship and an episode of utter callousness on his part in our 20’s was the last straw for me; I didn’t speak to him for the next 15 years. His treatment of me has affected me in numerous ways to this day (I’m in my 40’s): my self-confidence, my relationship with my parents, my general misanthropy . . . repeatedly being called stupid and ugly growing up has a way of staying with a person.
My brother’s family and I are more cordial now, but only for my elderly parents’ sake. We interact during the holidays when I put on a good face. Otherwise, I have no interest in having anything to do with my brother or his family. I know that once my parents pass away (I hate even thinking about it), I’ll never interact with my brother again. I simply don't see myself being a part of their lives. I’m thinking I should let my sister-in-law know this so she can make alternative plans for her kids and not rely on me. AITA for not wanting to take care of her children? WIBTA if I were to tell her this? ###### | NTA. Don’t agree to take the kids ###### |
Long story short, this man borrowed quite a lot of money, and disappeared. So I called his parents and they paid me by their own money (I SWEAR they said he gave them that) and now he’s asking me my bank account for paying it.
I seriously don’t know what to tell him now ###### | NTA. Don't tell him anything. In fact, it's your turn to disappear. ###### |
Last fall I bought a horse from my uncle for $200. I also purchased hay my uncle was selling for $50 per large round bale (I bought 7 for the horse).
This July I decided to sell the horse because they had lied about it's training and I could not even put a saddle on w/o it flipping out.
The bill of sale states that the previous owner has first refusal. I am asking $500 for the horse as I put lots of $$ into it weight booster (as it was very thin & malnourished when I bought it),
hoof trimming, wintering over etc.
The problem?
My uncle wants to buy the horse and is convinced I'm the ass hole because I want to get $500 and won't let him buy back at my purchase price of $200. His reason?
He "cut me a deal on hay". He priced the horse that low, he priced the hay that low, he malnourished the horse.
If I sell back to him at $200 he would have made money off me by getting free hay, boarding, healthcare.
This is causing a family rift
and I just need to know, AITA in this situation?? ###### | NTA. Don't sell back a horse to somebody who allows them to be malnourished. ###### |
I'm 20 years old and am looking to move out of my parents house. While looking for a house/apartment, my mother has made it clear that she wants me to put the tracking app Life360 on my phone and join the circle with her, my dad, and my younger brother. I used to have this app, but deleted it once I graduated high school, much to her dismay. She is an obsessive worrier, which she is keen to remind everyone of whenever situations like these come up. I am of the opinion that, as a adult, I don't want to have a tracking app on my phone so my mother can watch over me. Not that I sneak around, or that she would really stop me from going anywhere, I just don't like the idea. Everytime I say that she goes on a tangent about how she raised me, put a roof over my head for two decades, etc etc. The usual parent guilt trip, which makes me even more resistant to the idea. Is this a hill I should be willing to die on? Or am I just overreacting to a reasonable request in this new age of technology? ###### | NTA. Don't install the app, move out, continue not having the app. Done.
She'll complain but at the end of the day she can't make you do anything. She'll get over it eventually, or she won't but you won't be living with her so it's not a problem. ###### |
So long story short I (18f) dated D (20m) for about three years. In early March I found out I am pregnant. Naturally he was the the first one I told and his response was "come find me again after you get rid of it." This naturally led to a but of an argument until he backhanded me.
After that I walked away and havent spoken to him since. I have however kept somewhat in touch with T (16f) his sister. Time passed and the protests started. About 2wks ago I got a call from T begging me to bail D out of jail because her parents couldnt afford to. Now I don't know how much it was but I probably could have asked my dad at the time and he would have helped if possible. I didnt and still don't see the need to do that. He has not contacted me one time about this baby. I havent blocked him and if he decides to I will let him into this baby's life.
His parents managed to bail him out but now T is calling me a bitch and saying that I shouldnt have made their parents sacrifice a mortgage payment to get him out of jail because he is the father of my unborn child.
So am I wrong in refusing to bail him out? ###### | NTA. Don't help your abuser. You need to talk to a lawyer ASAP though to get going about custody arrangements and restraining orders. ###### |
I made some BOMB ass Mole Verde for my mom on Mother's Day (Family Recipe) and I had enough left over to bring to work with me. I decided to ask some of my coworkers if they wanted to try it. They LOVED IT! Yay!
One of my coworkers is notorious for calling herself the "Whitest Mexican Girl" because she makes "traditional Mexican food from scratch" (It's not traditional or Mexican) and asked if she could have the recipe. I told her I'd have to ask my grandma for permission to share but probably not.
I get a text from her later that night saying she had an allergic reaction to my Mole and she needs to know exactly what was in it so she can figure out what she's allergic to.... She also asked for me to bring more so she could try it again to confirm that it was in fact my food that gave her the allergic reaction...WTF?!
We do potlucks all the time so we're all aware of allergies and she's NEVER mentioned being allergic to ANYTHING in the 3 years I've been working with her. I'm convinced this is just a charade to get my gmas recipe and I had to beg my gma to teach ME! ###### | NTA. Don't do it.
Just send her a mesage stating that the only ingredient present in your recipe that isn't in every published recipe is [*insert unexpected asian spice not normally found in mexican cuisine - perhaps Star Anise?*]
She'll go nuts making terrible recipes including the out of place ingredient and failing ###### |
(I'm not a story teller like some here, so sorry if this is disorganized or boring.)
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Hello Reddit. Tomorrow is my (f/28) birthday. I wasn't planning on doing anything this year because it's my first sober birthday (I quit drinking 9 months ago) and I try to avoid parties since everyone usually drinks at them.
Last week I was asked by friend A (f/31) if I'd like to go for a small dinner and I said yes. A asked where I wanted to go and I suggested somewhere that serves hot pot. I have never tried it and figured my birthday dinner would be a good time.
A came back to me the next day and said we can't do hot pot because friend B (f/30) doesn't like Korean food.
"Uhmm, okay how about sushi?"
Well you guessed it, now friend C (f/34) doesn't like sushi.
This has evolved in to me trying to find a place everyone will enjoy and wanting to cancel the whole thing because all it has done is stressed me out and made me feel bad for not knowing who doesn't like what. I told A this, and she said it would be an asshole move because everyone is getting together for me.
Today B pushed for us to go to a pub, and everyone immediately was in agreeance.
I snapped a bit. I told the group that I refuse to let my birthday be an excuse for them to get drunk at a bar. If this dinner really was *for me* they'd have been fine with my original suggestion and if they can't support my sobriety then they aren't friends at all.
I am currently getting text messages saying I flew off the handle, that I need to grow up and not be such an asshole when they were just trying to do a nice thing for me. C even said that they shouldn't be punished because I can't handle my liquor.
So yeah, dinner is cancelled and so are those friendships. Now that I've cooled down a bit though, I am wondering if I was being an asshole...
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Edit: Post has been live less than 10 minutes and you guys have already shown me I made the right call. Thank you so much. ###### | NTA. Doing a nice thing for your birthday would be, for example, accepting that while Korean food isn't your favorite, it's something that the birthday celebrant would really enjoy, and finding something on the menu that you can live with. Repeatedly foisting all of the planning onto you while sticking fast to their own preferences and refusing to accept that sobriety is important to you is just jerky behavior. Sorry they are being like that.
And, hey, great job on your huge 9 months achievement. Be proud of yourself, and listen to the little voice that is telling you that people who regard not being able to drink for a couple of hours as being "punished" and try to make your sobriety into a failing on your part aren't going to be a supportive set of friends for your goals. It sucks, but sometimes friendships built around a shared activity don't end up going much deeper than that activity. :/ ###### |
Earlier today, me and my mom had an argument about me not liking dogs, I told her my reasons but as it seemed, she refused to accept it. I went back to my room and thought that it is all over. Few hours later, she called me to help her with the laundry, I wasn't thinking much about it and went to help her, however, she started telling me that persons who don't like dogs are in fact horrible people and have problems with their inner selves, I asked why she thinks so and she just said ,,I have 45 years of an experience and that's more than you have" and now, she don't want to talk to me until I change my view on dogs..
Am I the asshole?
(Sorry for my English, not a native English speaker) ###### | NTA. Dogs are fine, I can take them or leave them, but dog *people* are the absolute worst. Unless you said that you’d kick a dog who wasn’t bothering you or something, there’s no reason to get worked up about your pet preferences. ###### |
Yesterday, my sister, husband, 2 boys, and cute dog come over for a big family breakfast. My husband and I were playing with the dog and she was a cutie. I’m not sure how it happened, but my sister maybe thought we were annoyed (or something?) and said they’d just put the dog in the car with the windows cracked. But me and my husband, almost simultaneously, said “that’s animal abuse”! We are currently in Houston, yesterday mornin was mid 80’s. My husband did the math off the web, and it said (as we knew), that it would be 100 to 100+ degrees in TEN MINUTES. We told her, we like the dog, there no need to do that. She hissed back at my husband to SHUT HIS MOUTH (in her best teacher voice), and just began a yelling tirade. We finally just sat there, silent, drinking our coffee.
She ended up leaving with my bro in law for the duration of breakfast (the boys stayed- we were having waffles!), then reappeared to whisk them away after they ate.
AITA for asking my sister to NOT put her dog in the car, and call it abuse? It could’ve been deadly. (She’s a small breed, not sure what). ###### | NTA. Dogs and small children can die within a matter of minutes. I’m not sure about the laws in Texas, but in some jurisdictions animal abusers like your sister can get some hefty jail time. ###### |
My (16f) brother (20) decided, totally randomly with no cause (I checked), decided to sleep in the living room on the sofa. He sleeps until the early afternoon (1-4 in the afternoon), then he's awake for about 12 hours during which he watches TV and plays on his playstation, then in the early hours of the morning (12-5 in the morning) he goes back to bed, staying in the living room the whole time. I've objected to this but when I did mum said to leave him alone and basically let him do what he wants because his first girlfriend ever, who he was with for over 3 years, just broke up with him and he's going through a rough time, but she dumped him 6 weeks ago and he's been in the living room since then and I've only been able to go in when we eat dinner (the table is in the living room).
It's currently 12:50 in the afternoon. I wanted to watch TV. I went into the room, turned on TV, and started watching. I usually keep the TV volume on single digits but for some reason my brother left it on 40-something so it immediately blared. I turned it down ASAP but it woke him. He yelled at me for waking him and mum came down and said she'd told me to leave him alone and stay out of the room when he's asleep.
My brother wants me to apologise for waking him because I know how erratic his sleep schedule is and that he was asleep when I came in. I told him that's bullshit and he can't just claim an entire common room and if anyone deserves an apology it's me because this is the only room I can use during the day. Mum said he's going through a tough time and it's on us to help him, which means letting things slide and apologising even if we're in the right. I've said I'm not saying shit and now mum is saying I'm making things difficult for everyone.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Doesn't your brother have a room? ###### |
It's recently come to light that my parents have used my SSN to run up a little over $15,000 of debt that's now in collections. My credit is ruined and my plans of saving for post-grad school have just flown out the window. The only way to have it removed would be to file a police report against my parents to have the debt declared fraudulent. I'm pretty sure this is a felony, but I haven't spoken to any lawyers or anything.
Before you say obviously NTA, I'm hesitating because my parents take care of my elderly grandmother. Since her husband died, she is alone basically all the time except for when my parents are around as my family is very small. My mother is also a nurse and helps my grandmother out with any medical care she needs (she's not sickly enough to need full time care, just when things come up).
I live out of state and can't afford to help my grandmother if my parents were to go to jail/(prison?). WI BTA if I followed through with the police on this? ###### | NTA. Doesn't matter the reason - if they did this WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE OR APPROVAL, report them. What they did could have serious future repercussions on your credit. ###### |
Ive been rooming with my sister for 2 years now, and I’ve been having an issue since she moved in. She has a friend who smells AWFUL. Like hasn't bathed in weeks, ran through an onion field awful... who she has spend the night regularly. I cannot stress how bad this guy smells. He walks in to my house and his BO literally smacks you in the face. I cant even walk by my sisters bedroom door without gagging.
Anyways. Every time he comes over, she allows him to sleep on my living room couch, and i swear I can smell him on it weeks after he’s left. I’ve asked her before to get him a cheap air mattress if she wants him to spend the night, which she did, but they popped it on the first night And she has yet to replace it. (I’ve asked multiple times)
I’m at the point where I’m about to tell her that he can’t stay anymore. He’s ruining MY furniture with his stench. Any time I try to bring it up to her, she just says “You’ll survive” AITA for asking her to not have her friend spend the night anymore??
Note: He’s been told by multiple people that he stinks, and he doesn’t seem to care. Her tellong him won’t solve anything. ###### | NTA. Does your sister know why he stinks so bad? Is it a base lack of hygiene or is there some underlying condition going on? ###### |
Okay, so some backstory. My parents are pretty well off, and with everything happening have been pretty lucky to have kept their work and consistent pay checks. I (21F) am married, moved out, finished college this semester, and completely financially independent from my parents, although my husband and I still go to their house for dinner about once a week. I have 2 brothers, one older and one younger, and i’m close in age to both of them. Neither are financially independent. My younger brother (20) still lives at home and my older brother (23) still has about a year left in college and my parents pay for his rent and food. They paid for my rent and food until I got married. They paid my tuition all 4 years, and they’ll pay my brothers tuition until he graduates. (we go to a school where tuition is 5-6k/year)
While at their house for dinner, I mentioned that my husband and I got our stimulus checks, and my dad said that we should give him $200 since he would have gotten $500 per kid (or $1500 plus $2400 for he and my mom), to make it “fair”
My husband and I could really use the money, and feel like since i’m not financially dependent on my parents that we shouldn’t have to pay them anything. WIBTA if I told him I won’t pay him?
info: I don’t mean this to sound like I don’t appreciate everything they’ve done for me, because I do and I have told them that. I couldn’t work through college because I had a full course load and my program required 20ish hours/week of unpaid work as a graduation requirement. However, my parents offered to support me through college from the start. ###### | NTA. Does your dad know that he wouldn't have gotten any money for you anyways since you are over the age threshold? ###### |
It’s a really nice day out so my mom said she was going to sit outside.
I have been excited about tie dying some old clothes as a fun craft. My mom is not creative at all and never really likes things like that so she just didn’t take any interest. I had all my equipment and was getting ready to roll up the clothes, she came out yelling at me because I’m gonna get dye everywhere - I tell her that I’m not dyeing it yet, I’m just rolling it. I have a separate container for dyeing. Then she starts getting angry about the water from the dye going down the drain, even though I told her I was gonna rinse everything in the bathroom. After a while, I just dropped the whole thing and didn’t dye anything. Just went to my room. My mom is now pissed at me for leaving her to sit outside by herself but I was trying to do my own thing and she kept getting me down about it. ###### | NTA. Does she lash out often? If so, being away is fine. If uncommon, maybe she needs some space now and then try to talk to her later.
I would suggest asking her if she wants to help or give input. Make her feel like she is part of what you are doing. But only if this is uncommon. If she does this lashing out often, you do what you need to do.
As a mom, we all have bad moods. Also as a mom, I like being involved. Whether if it is my 7 year old doing crafts or my 23 year old asking me about buying her first house, being involved makes me happy. Maybe she feels like you are growing apart?
I am in no way blaming you! You did nothing wrong. Just offering insight. I hope this was an uncommon thing. ###### |
I can’t believe I’m posting something so ridiculous, but this friend who’s mad at me usually doesn’t react like this so I think I must be missing something.
My friend just finished school to become a hairstylist. We were chatting and I mentioned I’d been thinking about changing my hair. She asked me to let her do it because she needed clients to start her business and said she’d do it for free if I posted it and showed it off and told people about her. I said great but that free was too generous and I wanted to pay her something, so we agreed on a discounted rate. I got an exciting new hairstyle - new cut and color. It was a big change and it looks great. I posted it on social media and tagged her and everyone loved it. I even gave out her number to several people who asked about it.
Last night we were on a FaceTime chat with a bunch of friends to catch up, play games, whatever. I had my hair pulled back in a ponytail. I didn’t think anything was wrong until later when she called me. She thought I was hiding my hair on purpose from all our friends. I admit I thought she was joking so I kind of laughed. Then she got more mad and started saying how our agreement was exposure and I should be taking care of my hair and showing it off and how hurtful it was to hide her hard work when she was excited about it. She kept getting mad and it escalated from there as I tried to calm the situation down. I admit I didn’t really apologize because I was so taken aback at the reaction. I mean, I posted it and gave people her contact info and got her name out there! Was I supposed to keep advertising my hair forever? A ponytail is a perfectly normal hairstyle right?? Am I crazy??
AITA for “hiding her hard work?” Should I have just apologized? ###### | NTA. Does she expect you to have it down all the time with her business cards/contact info taped to your head? You did what she asked and if she needed you to CONSTANTLY show it off to literally everyone you come into contact with, she should have clarified that. ###### |
Recently my sister and her husband just had another baby. In the past they have been very clear about not posting pictures of their kids on social media. When they texted the extended family to announce the birth, they added a couple of picture and asked no pictures be put on social media.
Well today. Scrolling Facebook I saw my aunt had posted one of the pictures of the baby along with it’s full name, birthdate, height and weight. This aunt has posted pictures of the kids in the past, but I’m not sure if the parents have discussed this more with her or not. The parent don’t have any social media so they won’t find out about the post unless someone tells them. I also feel it’s important to know that her Facebook is public, so anyone can see the photo, not just her friend list.
So WIBTA if I told the parents? I feel they should know but I know my aunt will be upset if she finds out I told on her, and there’s a good chance she would find out. ###### | NTA. Do you think she would take it down if you asked kindly before involving the parents? If not, then don’t feel bad about telling your sister. I’m sure she would appreciate your honesty. ###### |
Long story short, family friend had this boil thing on their leg, and they heard that because cats saliva is an antiseptic, they wanted to come over and have my cat LICK it!!
I said no frikkin way.
Now my parents and friend are pissed at me.
Apparently I'm being a snob, it's only an animal and licks it's butt etc... My issue is that it's gross, who knows if my cat could get sick from it, and it just seems so wrong to me..
My cat is like my baby, she follows me around and sleeps on my bed at night.
AITA for refusing to let them use my cat? ###### | NTA. Do you know why we put cones on animals when they've had an operation? You guessed it: so they won't lick their wounds and cause an infection.
Not only can your cat get sick, your friend risks getting sick, too.
Also eeew gross! Wtf did I just read >< ###### |
Not mine, but my friends. "I have 2 adult kids. Both have graduated from college, but are currently living with me due to the situation and such. Neither have jobs since they both got laid off at the beginning of all of this. I'm happy to have them both back at the house, it was getting lonely since my husband passed not to long ago. I had saved up roughly 50k for each for college. My one kid, who we'll call J, and my other kid, who we'll call S, are twins. J got a scholarship that covered most of her school expenses, but I paid for rent, food, etc. I was super proud of her. S also went to college, though she didn't get a scholarship, which I was fine with. I was also super proud of her. I didn't want either of them to start out life with a bunch of student loans, so I was happy to pay for both of them since I could afford to do so. S also worked part-time to help pay.
Now that they are both out of jobs and living with me, J has started asking about the rest of her "rightly deserved money". She wants it, I don't know if its to save or spend, but she claims that its not her fault she got a scholarship and that I didn't have to pay as much for her as her sister. I was planning on either doing renovations, possibly moving (my house is kinda big now that its just me), or going on a vacation in a few months (depending how things go) with the money. Obviously, after they both move out and get new jobs. I told her this and she got super mad. She kept going on and on about how it was her money. S stepped in and said that she should be grateful for all the help I've given both of them. Now J is mad at me and S and J are fighting. Was I wrong for not giving her the money? Should I give her the money?
I'll also add that I've not asked either to pay rent, food, etc while they have been living with me. So, whatever money they had at the begging before their job loss, they should still have most of. ###### | NTA. Do not give J the money. If there had been an agreement in place that each gets $X for college and may keep any excess, my judgment would be different. That’s not the case here. S is right that they should both be grateful for your generosity. ###### |
My uncle recently died and when we went to discuss the will he left a majority of his belongings to me. I know what your thinking, why would he leave it to me? He never got married and never had children but, me and him were practically best friends what he did have though was a girlfriend. My uncles girlfriend obviously didn't love him and was using him for money. The two of them had a 30 year age gap and she had given birth to a other man's children (twins) while in a relationship with him. My uncle did love the twins dearly so he left them a trust fund the details about that are unknown. Anyways, my Uncle left me A LARGe sum of money and his girlfriend is angry that I am not giving it to her. Since she was his partner. My Uncle also left his house and the majority of his belongings to ME. Due to his age he updated his will frequently so if he wanted to leave his money to her he would have.
My mother is okay with this because his girlfriend was never respectful to the rest of the family, not even my grandmother.so it's not like she would have lasted long. I understand that the children are innocent so I plan on giving her SOME money, but she wants everything, including the house.
Ok so, would I be the asshole for accepting the money
Sorry if I worded it badly ###### | NTA. DO NOT GIVE HER A CENT. ###### |
I am a (16f) and I work part time at Walmart to save up money for college. My parents aren’t very well off and haven’t saved any money for my education. I don’t blame them for this but it’s also been stressing me out, which is why I wanted to get a job.
My grandma lives in England and came to my house to visit more than a month ago. My mom has been begging me to give my grandma $500 because I am the first of her grandchildren to get a job and it would be a special gift. My mom also thinks that I should give her this money to show appreciation to her because my grandma has sent me money in the past. However, that was only once and my mom made me lie to my grandma and say I received the money even though my mom used it all. My mom has also been taking my money for other things and calling me selfish and ungrateful if I object.
This really bothers me because I am trying to save up money for college because my parents never did. It feels as though if my parents cared about my future they would leave my money alone and see that I am trying to better myself. I think it’s also important to mention that my grandma and I have absolutely no relationship due to distance.
I feel really bad and guilty because it’s always been ingrained in me that you’re supposed to give up anything for family and you’re not supposed to disrespect your elders. Am I the asshole for not wanting to give up a piece of my college money for my grandma? ###### | NTA. Do not give anyone in your family a dime. This is financial abuse. ###### |
My sister and I have been fighting for a while because she never gets me so much as a card for my birthday, and I always would get her an actual present. When I brought it up to her before my birthday in September she said that it’s because I make more than her so it’s only fair that I “give back”.
So I didn’t get her anything this year, which caused a huge fight in January when it happened. Then we didn’t talk until now, but we recently bought my husband a new car which sparked another argument because she said that if I have enough for a car I have enough for a present for her.
The point isn’t that I can’t afford the presents, it’s that she never does anything for me. She keeps going on and on about how I make more but I’d be happy with a card or a drawing or something cheap.
My mom thinks I should just buy her something to shut her up but I think that would be enabling her.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Do not get her another frigging thing. What a rotten, immature child she is. And yes, it seems your parents just enable her, so they're definitely at least partially at fault here. Seriously, she doesn't deserve anything. Ever. ###### |
Title sounds bad, the situation itself might be as well.
For some background: my wife and I are both women in our mid-30s and she's expecting our first child, almost in her third trimester. I've suffered from eating disorders in the past, I'm still seeing a therapist and my wife is aware of this, even if I try not to talk about it with her. Talking about weight gain is a huge trigger for me, to the point that I try to steer the conversation away from the subject if it comes up (if I can't, I nod politely and wait for it to be over). My wife also knows of this and I know she tries her best not to talk about it, but she's been a bit overweight her whole life and has always been into different kinds of diet. That's fine, I love her and I can take a bit of diet talk once in a while, even if I'm not too happy about it.
Things have gotten worse with the pregnancy: she's always commenting and asking me if she's gained weight (like, almost once a day, sometimes more) and I try to be kind and tell her that no, she's just pregnant and looks as beautiful as ever, but she insists. I've developed some body-image issues of my own in the past year and all this weight talk is, for lack of better words, making me lose my shit. Yesterday night, she asked me two times if I think she's fat and the second time I just snapped and told her something along the lines of "You've gained weight, but that's what happens when you're pregnant".
As a result, she locked herself in the bathroom, called her mother on the phone and sobbed for an hour as I attempted to convince her to open the door. She wouldn't talk to me this morning despite me apologizing and telling her multiple times that I love her and her body very much and I'm writing this during my lunch break because I feel so guilty I'm about to cry.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Disclaimer: I feel for your wife, and I give pregnant women a wide berth for their mood swings.
But you have a history of disordered eating, and at this point your wife not dropping the subject of weight, baby or not, is selfish and unproductive. Why does she keep discussing these issues with you? She needs to find a different audience for her weight concerns! She should have done that before she got pregnant, and she *definitely* should have found a different outlet during the pregnancy. I hope she finds a more appropriate friend with whom she can discuss her weight concerns, instead of with the one person in her life who sincerely struggles with these conversations. Her continuing to have them with you... fuck.
I would advise that if she brings up these conversations again, you calmly remind her that weight conversations trigger your past struggles. Then cock your head to the side and ask in a bewildered voice, “I’m confused why you keep bringing up this subject? But I’m going to remove myself from the conversation.” And walk away. ###### |
So a coworker of mine and I happen to share a lot of the same friends. Today we were talking about some of our friends, and she starts describing this one friend she has. He sounds familiar so I say that he sounds familiar, I have a similar friend and start describing him thinking it might be the same person. I said he was smart, really funny, black, tall, and sporty. She then looks at me funny and said that she didn't know I was racist. I was really confused I said what? She said that since I said my friend is black that makes me racist. I was so confused and flabbergasted so I just went to do other things. I've been thinking and do I just not know what racism is? Is saying someone is black racist? I am still confused ###### | NTA. Did you know that it’s sexist to say my friend is a girl? ###### |
During quarantine I made a new group of friends on an app (two other girls and two guys). One of our first conversations was about the MCU and we were playing “Fuck, Marry, Kill” with the Avengers. I was asked to choose between three of the guys, and I replied that I resented not having Scarlett Johansson as an option. Everyone laughed (well, typed “hahaha”) and agreed to swap out one of my options. I didn’t realize at the time that everyone took this as me telling them I was a lesbian, I was just joking around about the fact that I think Scarlett Johansson is objectively the most attractive team member. That was about a month ago and I forgot all about it.
But then last night we met up in person for the first time and got into a conversation about Pride Month, and I realized that everyone thought I was a lesbian. I clarified that I identify as straight and am currently dating a guy. Everyone said that I told them I was a lesbian. I asked when and they brought up the game of “Fuck, Marry, Kill.” I said that was just a game and I didn’t mean anything by it. They said that was “pretty shitty because it’s like I’m misrepresenting myself and trivializing queer identity to sound quirky or interesting or whatever.” I said I was sorry if it was shitty and that I wasn’t trying to mislead anyone. We stopped talking about it, but the rest of the night was kind of awkward and then this morning I got left on read in the group chat.
So now I’m wondering if they’re overreacting or if I really was that insensitive. AITA? ###### | NTA. Did they think you wanted to actually “kill” one of the options too? It was a game. Scarlett is objectively very sexy. It was just a misunderstanding and you clarified your position once you were made aware. Hopefully they can understand that. You’re all still getting to know each other anyway. ###### |
We suck at money, and I’m really trying to get better about it. He has had a long week, we’re getting our stimulus money soon and he worked some OT last week, so when he asked if he could get a game, I said sure. He called me later and said the DLC he bought didn’t include everything recent, so he asked if he could get that too, and I said sure.
I didn’t ask how much it was. I assumed (you know what happens then) that it would be maybe $100 total for both.
I checked our bank account this morning and it was $350! I told him how much spending money we had TOGETHER this paycheck, and that is almost all of it. AITA for being upset about this, or is it my fault for not asking the amount? ###### | NTA. Did he fucking buy all of EU4 or something? ###### |
My friend had a dog and he left it with me when he moved to another town, saying he would come back to get it once all things are settled down.
From before the pandemic till it's almost over, for 4 months after he moved and he still had no intention of coming to get it. He kept coming up with excuses, the pandemic his favourite among all. He couldn't make a trip here to collect his dog when he even went further to visit his girlfriend's parents, as shown on his IG.
I am not a dog person, I like cats instead of dogs but prefer no pets at all. For 4 months I have been cleaning up after this dog who just doesn't behave. He destroyed my things and always did business in funny places, also liked to growl at night for some reason. Maybe it was because I work long hours and could not take it out for walks.
I know it may be my behaviours that led the dog to misbehave but come on, I did not ask for this. I could tell that we are both miserable, the dog slightly less so as he seemed to be very attached to me, which was quite sad because the feelings weren't mutual.
I warned my friend that if by May he still wouldn't come to collect his dog I will give it away. He promised to come and get it but as usual, came up with an excuse, saying his girlfriend caught a cold and he wanted to self isolate, nice timing again.
I posted the dogs details on an adoption site and last week and today, finally got the poor thing adopted. It was for the best as I am a bad owner and he deserves better human, I may also finally get some peace in the house. I told this to my friend and he completely blew up on me on the phone.
He claimed that he thought I was joking when I warned him and now he wanted his dog back, what about self isolation again I wonder? I may update this later as it just happened but AITA? ###### | NTA. Despite your lack of affection for dogs, you seem to care more about the dog’s wellbeing than the actual owner. It’s a crappy situation, but you made the best choice possible. ###### |
I've recently been having some dental problems like pain and black spots on my gums and teeth pain, it's been going on for a few months and I've brought it up with my parents and asked if I could go to a dentist. They've repeatedly pushed it back saying I'll be alright in some time, but when I do bring it back it up they say the same thing as if I haven't told them before.
I understand that dentists are expensive (where I live), and I'm not covered under health insurance either (since we're not citizens). I get that seeing a dentist can become very expensive but these pains have really been starting to get worse and I'm asking for dentists more and more. Would I be the asshole if I just told my parents to just take me to a dentist already?
For context, we are by no means poor, but my parents did grow up in a country without many dentists so they were raised with the belief that dental problems aren't that big of a deal and that it'll resolve itself. ###### | NTA. Dental problems aren't like a damn bruise, they don't get better, they get significantly worse over time if not treated. Get to a dentist ASAP! If for nothing else than at least an evaluation of how bad the situation is.
-Coming from a man with garbage teeth and constant visits to the dentist through my whole life. ###### |
AITA? Today husband was waiting for me in the car while I took my kid in or a dr appointment. While waiting, he needed to use the bathroom and decided to use my coffee cup to relieve himself. We both have reusable cups and mine was empty and his had a small amount of old coffee that he isn’t going to drink anymore. Also, dr office is a short walk away and would let him use the bathroom if he asked. Am I unreasonable I be pissed that he used my cup to piss in? No matter how much he cleans it, it just seems totally inconsiderate to use my stuff like that. ###### | NTA. Definitely NTA. He could've pissed in his own cup.
OR GOTTEN OUT OF THE CAR TO USE THE READILY AVAILABLE TOILET LIKE ADULTS DO. ###### |
My dad passed away last year and i’m the only one along with my little sister who are on the life insurance. I am supposed to receive the money on my 18th birthday but my mom and brother (m20) are asking me to help contribute $10,000+ to a house that i’m probably not gonna live in because i’ll be 19 almost 20 moving on with my life. I have no idea how much life insurance money i’ll be receiving anyways but what should i do ? Do I give them half or do I think about myself and my future considering I am young and I had other plans on investments. ###### | NTA. Definitely lawyer up though. You shouldn’t give them the money because you need that money for college. They are not entitled to your money. ###### |
Last night my partner had a uni exam that went quite late. I cooked dinner and we ate it upstairs in bed.
This morning I saw that he peed into one of the tupperware containers we keep food in after finishing his dinner. I told him it was absolutely repulsive because that's where we keep food. He said it shouldn't matter because it's just salt water and hed wash it out. I told him it was disgusting and he should throw out the container or mark it because I dont want to use it anymore.
He BLEW UP and told me I was overreacting and using anger to get my way. He then scrubbed the container and mixed it in with the other Tupperware so I couldnt mark it.
Now we aren't speaking. He says my reaction was way over the top and all guys do this. I say its gross that he peed in the container and even grosser for trying to hide it from me so that I have to use it.
So internet people, AITA? ###### | NTA. Dear lord WHY IS HE PEEING IN A TUPPERWARE CONTAINER????? Y'all have a bathroom right? ###### |
Throw away because my husband also has reddit.
My husband is gone a lot, therefore I do the cooking and cleaning 100% of the time for our family. Our definition of cleaning is completely different. I scrub everything. Especially the kitchen before and after I cook so it just stays clean. He is the complete opposite, which I’ve learned to live with kind of but it does drive me nuts, love him, but ugh.
Due to the virus my husband is laid off and I asked him to make a simple spaghetti dinner while I pack stuff (we bought a house and are currently moving).
Now, that’s all and well but instead of just tasting the noodles like I thought everyone did, he likes to throw the noodles on the wall to see if they are done and forgets to take the noodles that he throws down.
1. I just deep cleaned the entire apartment due to moving out.
2. I’m 5’2. He is 6’3. He also throws out and up vs straight out so I can’t reach the noodles (not to be an ass I’m sure, just the way he throws).
I came out when dinner was done to see four noodles attached to the wall, I asked him to please stop throwing them and just bring a noddle to me if he needs help determining their “done-ness” and he flipped out on me and hasn’t spoken to me in an hour and a half. AITA? ###### | NTA. Dear god, it's like every incompetent husband post on here lowers the bar a bit more. I can not believe you're being forced to ask if you're an asshole because you prefer for noodles not to be left on the wall. I mean, seriously. ###### |
I(f18) have always been uncomfortable with my mom(f53) posting pictures of me and information about me on Facebook. She’s been doing it for over 10 years and posts multiple times a day. Any time she would take a picture of me I would try to cover my face or make a shitty face so she couldn’t post it. Her Facebook has a lot of private information and really horrible, ugly photos of me on it. It even has pictures of me naked when I was young. I’m extremely uncomfortable with all this information being out there for anyone to see especially since I’m about to join the work force. Ive talked with her about it before but she only agreed to stop tagging me in posts (without deleting the old ones she tagged me in) and continues to attach my name to the images. WIBTA if I told her to delete everything she has of me off face book or to delete the account altogether. ###### | NTA. Data protection is a thing,I'm pretty sure there was a case in Germany where a kid sued their parents for something like this as it was an invasion of their privacy. I won't go into the naked pics of you on there only that at the very least get her to remove them. I seriously hope your mother's page is at least on a private setting so total randomers can't access it. ###### |
I, (23F) recently moved out of my mother’s home. 3 years ago my cousin passed away due to a heart attack. I keep a album with pictures of them and me which brings me great comfort. My mother was always bitter about me and my cousins relationship. She always throws out or gets rid of my stuff that she doesn’t like.
While i was cleaning out my things, i couldn’t find my album. I asked my Mom about its whereabouts and she said she threw it away since it was just “junk”
I. Was. Livid
I started freaking out about how it was my last part of my cousin. My cousin and I were very close, like sisters. my mother said it was just old photos and i shouldve downloaded them on my computer if i didn’t want to loose them. My mother has been doing this stuff for years and i finally reached my breaking point. I packed up everything i had and went to my new apartment. I quickly went to all the local dumps and places to see if i could find my album. I still haven’t found it yet. I dont know what to do! My mom is calling me an asshole for getting mad. I want to forgive but i can’t do this. I later cut her off after she went on a rant to my whole family about how i’m an ungrateful bitch. she was awful to me in my youth and my cousin was my only comfort.
Reddit, AITA? I really need others input. I’m so angry and sad. Please help. ###### | NTA. Cut. Her. Off. And I mean actually cut her off. Go NC. Stop receiving her calls. Block her number. Stop visiting her. Stop letting her visit you. She's never going to respect you. This relationship will never bring you any good. You live your life. Go to therapy. Work on doing and getting better.
Edit: forgot to add NTA ###### |
Lol I know the title sounds misleading.
Anyway my mother passed away 2 years ago and I have some of her everyday wear jewelry. Some of the jewelry is old and I don't think she ever took it to get it cleaned. Recently I asked my dad if he could go get it cleaned for me but he's been putting it off so he never got the chance.
Today I woke up and decided to take it upon myself to look up diy cleaning solutions. The jewelry I chose to clean weren't real gold or diamonds or even expensive so I figured it was safe. I found a simple baking soda and dish wash solutions. The steps also said to use a clean, fresh toothbrush in case an old one may have unknown harsh chemicals. Well I had everything but a toothbrush so I decided to go and ask my cousin (who I live with) if she has one.
Me: "hey B, you got a toothbrush?"
B: "Sure."
Then she gave me one and made some joke about how only old ladies have spare toothbrush but she wanted to always be prepared in case someone needed. By this point she already gave me the brush and so I went to clean the jewelry.
Fast Forward and I asked her opinion like 2 times on if the jewelry looked differently to her. Finally when I went to show her the finished product, she saw the toothbrush in the solution and got mad. She asked if I used the toothbrush to clean the jewelry and I said "yeah." She said she would've just given me an old one, but I said I couldn't use an old one for the reason above. Then she said "what if someone spends the night and actually needed to use it to brush their teeth?" By this point I'm kind of "???" because she also told me she literally has multiple packs of toothbrushes just in case. Eventually I told her I'll just buy another one for her and she's basically been ignoring me.
I mean of course I'll buy her another one, they're the cheap ones so it's literally 75 cents at most. But I was just wondering if I'm TA for not specifically telling her what the toothbrush was for? ###### | NTA. Cousin is being petty about how you used a cheap toothbrush. Buy her another 75c toothbrush and be done. ###### |
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