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To understand the full story you will need some key information about my life. At a young age my parents were divorced,and my oldest sibling is a trans female.
I just finished my school year and to celebrate me and my friends decided to dye our hair. My mother was completely fine with it but suggested I asked my dad first.
Here’s how to conversation went.
D=Dad
M=Mom
OP:Me
OP:(over Text Message) Hey, can I dye my hair,Momma said it was fine but wanted me to ask you first.
D: What Color and your whole head?
OP:Red and probably not, I only have half a bottle of dye.
D:I’m thinking you shouldn’t unless you’re gay.
Now when he said that I was in complete shock and went to my mom for her advice on what to do, she was outraged as her oldest child is part of the lgbt community . She suggested that we dye my hair anyways to prove a point.
When I went to visit my dad he grounded me and took my phone for breaking his rules, and has said that he won’t take me anywhere because I’m a embarrassment to him. Reddit AITA? ###### | NTA. Cool, don’t go anywhere with him. He’s an embarrassment to YOU. ###### |
I am (17F) and I am 173 (5'8) cm and I weigh about 68 kgs (150 pounds). I have struggled with body image issues throughout my life.
My mom cares about my health a lot and has been telling me to lose weight for the past year. First it was mild but now it has become slightly overbearing as she tells me to watch what I eat all the time. I understand, really. Her concern is natural.
I used to go running before but since I can't really do that these days, I am exercising at home. To be honest, our home is not very big and there's not much space so the exercise isn't very fruitful so I decided to follow a diet too.
Normally my mom makes easy to make food which isn't always very healthy as she doesn't really like putting too much effort into our food. Which I was fine with.
Now, my mom flat out refused to cook some healthy alternatives for me as she says that there is no need for me to go on a diet if I just exercise enough. I told her that the exercise isn't being really helpful to me.
Mom said that she can't cook extra healthy food for me as it would be too much work for her. Then I suggested that she can cook the healthy meal for both of us. She flat out refused and said that I was the one who needed to lose weight, not her.
Finally I decided that I should make my own food. My mother said that I have never been near the stove my entire life and that I'll burn the house down. She says if I just exercise enough then I won't have to go on a diet.
Yesterday i refused to eat the food made by her and instead made myself some salad. My mother feels insulted and says that I am being disrespectful.
Am I really being disrespectful?
AITA for making my own food when Mom told me not to? ###### | NTA. Cooking is a life skill you should be learning. Your mom is also wrong - if you consume more calories than you use that causes weight gain. Diet is a huge factor, exercise is important too but a lot of it is diet. ###### |
Hi! Second time posting here.
Okay so basically– I really really dislike taking photos or videos of myself, and I hate it when others do that too. It might just be an insecurity issue. I just don't feel comfortable when people do it, but even though I tell others that often, I still get dragged in for photos very now and then.
My sister’s a streamer on Facebook. She’s not INSANELY popular or famous but she definitely has a sort of big following.
A few hours ago she decided to take videos of me and uploaded it onto her Instagram story where her fans could see it. I didn't notice that she did that until she told me about it, and obviously I grew kind of irritated.
I've told her multiple times that I really just don't like when others take pictures of videos of me ( or call me cute, because it makes me uncomfortable ) but she continues to do it anyways. When I told her I really didn't appreciate that and showed that I was kinda annoyed, she teased me ( which she does, a lot, because she says she loves to annoy me ) and laughed, before asking me if I was going to cry about it (for some reason whenever I get annoyed she always asks me if I'm going to cry about it. I guess it's because she thinks I'm a crybaby?)
I feel like I was kind of being a jerk when I got pissed off. After that I sort of thought and felt like I was overreacting because it's just a short video, and there was nothing for me to get mad about but I dunno. ###### | NTA. Contact Facebook and get the videos taken down. ###### |
Okay, so backstory... I have an aunt who has two girls (16 & 9) my aunt doesn’t know how or care to learn how to do hair. I learned how to do my own hair when I was younger, so I’m fairly good at braiding, etc.
However, being a hairstylist is not my ambition. I actually hate doing hair, but because they had no one else to do their hair.. I did it for them, didn’t ask for anything in return. The free hairstyles went on for about 2 months..
When I started getting short on cash, and realized she was bringing them by my house almost every week to get their hair done.. (retwist for the older girls whole head, and the younger usually wanted some style she’d seen on Instagram) I told her that I’d like to start getting paid $20 per head. Which isn’t bad considering that the process to do both heads usually took me all day.
She got upset and refused, started talking about all the things she’d done for me.. which only included a few rides to work (which she was compensated for) & she started taking her girls to a hair salon, paying way more than what I asked for. When I questioned the logic, she said if she was going to pay for her kids hair to be done it was going to be professionally. Okay, no problem.. I hate doing hair anyway.
So, now that COVID has shut down most businesses.. she had my mom reach out to me asking me to do the girls hair. Again, I said I would but it will be $20 per head. I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong, she has the funds.. she just doesn’t feel like she should have to pay me. My mom, and other aunts have been texting me about the value of family and being there for one another, calling me selfish, etc... but considering I’m out of work and barely making it.. I don’t think I’m the one being selfish.. thoughts?
LSDR; Aunt doesn’t feel the need to pay me to do her kids hair, but will pay professionals for 3x my asking price! ###### | NTA. considering the frequency of her asking you to do this and how long it takes you to do so, it’s compensation for your time. whether you’re a professional or not, you are not obligated to do any of it for free. it’s a fair price especially for how long it takes you to do their hair. ###### |
My 28th birthday is on the 23rd. I’m a little old for presents so it doesn’t matter that much to me, but.. Both my dad AND my fiancé are complaining to me about how much my presents cost them.. I don’t know what they are or how much they cost, I haven’t received them yet, and I haven’t asked for anything. Would it be an asshole move to tell them to return whatever they got so they can save themselves the financial stress? And honestly also so they stop complaining about it to me, because I’d rather have no presents and no stress than be given stuff with more complaints attached.. ###### | NTA. Complaining about the cost of a gift you’ve chosen to buy for someone is a really shitty thing to do. ###### |
Context: I \[30m\] live with two roommates: Kate \[32f\] and Sean \[27m\]. We are in friendly terms. While generally each person buys their own food, we also have "communal food" - things one of us brought, but everyone can use. Until recently, that worked perfectly fine.
I do "food rescuing" quite regularly - which means "hunting" for food items shops discard, but are still usable. Not quite dumpster diving, but not very far off. Usually, whatever I find is either donated or becomes communal food. Kate ocassionally dabbles in food rescuing, too, and Sean does not. More often than not, 90% of the apartment's communal food are stuff I brought.
As mentioned, until now, that worked smoothly.
I recently brought a huge amount of rescued food into the apartment: two large boxes full of \[probably absurdly expensive\] bakery bread. We freezed most of it, as there was no way we could handle this amount - and it seemed like enough bread to last us 6 months minimum. Or at least that's what I thought.
A few days ago - and roughtly a month later, I opened the freezer, and discovered we actually almost ran out - and I barely got to have any.
As it turns out, Sean, who was now at home 24/7, and is known among other things for having the appetite of a sleep-deprived teenage athlete, switched his entire diet to be based on artisanal bread, and went through almost all of our supply.
Frankly, it is a very petty, small deal. It's not exactly difficult to get bread \[or buy some, if I don't find any on scavenging trips\]. I didn't pay for any of it anyway - but I'm annoyed, because I feel like it's ruining a good thing for everyone: if I want to get to use the things I bring in, I need to either declare them no longer communal \[which sucks\], or have to try to take Sean's amazing appetite into account and take several times as much \[which also sucks\].
WIBTA if I tell him to tone down his use of everyone's communal food? ###### | NTA. Communal or not, it's common courtesy to not cram most of the communal food into your gob and leave nothing, or next to nothing, for everyone else. ###### |
Context: I \[30m\] live with two roommates: Kate \[32f\] and Sean \[27m\]. We are in friendly terms. While generally each person buys their own food, we also have "communal food" - things one of us brought, but everyone can use. Until recently, that worked perfectly fine.
I do "food rescuing" quite regularly - which means "hunting" for food items shops discard, but are still usable. Not quite dumpster diving, but not very far off. Usually, whatever I find is either donated or becomes communal food. Kate ocassionally dabbles in food rescuing, too, and Sean does not. More often than not, 90% of the apartment's communal food are stuff I brought.
As mentioned, until now, that worked smoothly.
I recently brought a huge amount of rescued food into the apartment: two large boxes full of \[probably absurdly expensive\] bakery bread. We freezed most of it, as there was no way we could handle this amount - and it seemed like enough bread to last us 6 months minimum. Or at least that's what I thought.
A few days ago - and roughtly a month later, I opened the freezer, and discovered we actually almost ran out - and I barely got to have any.
As it turns out, Sean, who was now at home 24/7, and is known among other things for having the appetite of a sleep-deprived teenage athlete, switched his entire diet to be based on artisanal bread, and went through almost all of our supply.
Frankly, it is a very petty, small deal. It's not exactly difficult to get bread \[or buy some, if I don't find any on scavenging trips\]. I didn't pay for any of it anyway - but I'm annoyed, because I feel like it's ruining a good thing for everyone: if I want to get to use the things I bring in, I need to either declare them no longer communal \[which sucks\], or have to try to take Sean's amazing appetite into account and take several times as much \[which also sucks\].
WIBTA if I tell him to tone down his use of everyone's communal food? ###### | NTA. Communal food should come with the common sense that you should be reasonable about what you eat ###### |
I have a dog that has very high prey drive who chases rabbits and squirrels in my backyard. I have a privacy fence and always stand outside to supervise my dog when he goes out.
Neighbors recently moved into the house behind me and have been letting their cat roam the neighborhood. The cat has recently started coming into my fenced-in yard and it has felt comfortable getting closer and closer to my house.
I informed the neighbors that my dog has strong prey drive and could very likely seriously harm their cat. It is easy to check the for the cat during the day, however at night I'm terrified the cat could be in my yard. The cat has no fear of dogs at all it seems.
I asked the neighbors to not let their catch roam. They told me it's by fault I have an aggressive dog and I should take my dog out on a leash. I told them I have a privacy fence and it's not my problem if they choose to let their cat roam. It is also against the law in my city for domestic cats to roam.
AITA for telling them to keep their cat inside and off my property and refusing to leash my dog to take him out? ###### | NTA. Cite the anti-cat-roaming law. You should be safe, if your fence conforms to the city's ordinances regarding dog fencing. ###### |
So recently Girlfriend and I adopted her siblings and honestly I love them, I see them as mine and the youngest calls me dad which brings tears to my eyes. I’ve watched the two younger girls grow since they were babies and Carlos I’m trying with him through video games and fixing skateboards.
My mom lives with us in our Ranch style home that we recently got due to previous posts gf posted.
Now onto the story.
My sister passed away giving birth to her newborn son on July 27th. It doesn’t phase me as I wasn’t close to her but my 4 other sisters are distraught and my mom knows and is mourning.
The problem now is that all my sisters want me to adopt her kids to keep them in the family seeing I’m financially stable and that I’m doing better than them. I threw it back at them and told them to adopt since they loved our oldest so much.
I’ve babysat my 9 year old niece in the past and it wasn’t a cakewalk, that child was spoiled rotten, given a tablet real early and needed the tv on just in case they got board of the tablet. When I would take the tablet she would break something if she didn’t get her way. I was never compensated for broken items and the child would complain how I barely fed her anything when shes obviously overweight. After babysitting only twice I told my sister and her niece to go fuck themselves and to never count on me if that was the way they were.
My niece and newborn nephews fathers aren’t in the picture. So I understand if I don’t adopt them they will be lost to the system but her doctor told her that her son was going to come with complications. She should’ve had a plan ready.
My mom tells me to not take them in as it was my sisters fault for not planning ahead or thinking of herself, gf said it’s my decision, and my sisters are saying I’m a douche/asshole for killing off her bloodline. So am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. Children shouldn’t grow up in a home where they aren’t wanted. ###### |
Hi everybody! My fiancé and I are expecting a baby in December. I have a lot of bad history with my last name and my fiancé’s family also has a really bad history. For this reason I’ve always wanted my baby to have a new last name to start brand new with no history. We both agree to this and decided this is what we are going to do. However his family does not want that. So are we the assholes for wanting something different and going against his families wishes? ###### | NTA. Change your own names too. F* 'em. ###### |
Our 16F daughter recently came out and to be honest I don’t care and think there is nothing wrong with it.However,my wife thinks it’s weird,and has been acting hateful to our daughter.The other day she told me she’s thinks it’s wrong and that men are for women.I told her it doesn’t matter and that I only care about my daughters happiness.She told me she’s gonna try to do something to change our daughters mind.I straight up told her if she doesn’t Like our daughter for who she is then she doesn’t deserve her.She started getting mad saying it’s her daughter and that she loves her and needs to fix her.I told her what do you mean fix our daughter she’s perfectly fine.I told her she was of shit parent for not excepting our daughter and that I wouldn’t be surprised if our daughter cut her out of her life.She got mad at me a kicked me out on the couch.AITA ###### | NTA. Chances are higher that there’s something wrong with your wife, and not your daughter. I think you’re setting a great example for good parenting :). ###### |
Sorry if this post is jumbled. Having a rough time right now (for obvious reasons).
Very recently I (20F) was diagnosed with leukemia. Long story short, thought I had Covid, turned out to somehow be worse. Prognosis not great. I have a lot of regrets about not seeing a doctor sooner, but nevertheless.
I told my dad today. He and my mother are separated and only have contact through their lawyers about my little sister. I told him, and he told me I should tell my mother.
The thing is, my mother has a horrible habit of making things all about herself. When I was 12 she discovered I had a problem with depression, and instead of getting me treatment, told me “how could I do this to her” and how I was “making her look bad”. The problem was never resolved and I didn’t get any sort of treatment until my late teens.
Basically, I don’t want to tell her because I know it’ll end up all over Facebook and she’ll make it all about her struggle with my cancer. I’m a private person. I live across the country from her, so I could potentially keep it private until either a, I somehow recover and never have to tell her, or b, my dad invites her to my funeral.
I know it sounds harsh. I’m pretty detached from it all at this point. But I guess I need judgement to either absolve my own guilt or know I’m kinda a POS.
TLDR; My mom makes my pain about her. I don’t want to tell her I have cancer. WIBTA if I said nothing? ###### | NTA. Cancer is one of the few things you are free to make all about yourself. ###### |
Throwaway. On mobile.
I (28f) am childfree and live in a house with my husband (30m). The house was inherited by my husband from his father, we’ve been living in it two years. It’s spacious and away from the city, and we don’t have any immediate neighbors. We don’t need or use all the space, but it’s my husbands childhood home, and we don’t want to sell yet.
My sister (37f) asked me yesterday if my niece (18f) could use me and my husband’s home for a prom/graduation get-together with her friends. My niece had to miss both her senior prom and graduation due to covid, and she’s been really upset, and wanted to do something special since things are opening back up. My sister lives in a condo, and doesn’t have the room for the gathering btw.
My sister explained the “party” would be my niece with probably six of her friends hanging out in the backyard (which has a small gazebo/grill/some trees and flowers). She’d supply the food for them.
I told her no, simply because I don’t want my niece and six teens I don’t know to having a party in the backyard during a pandemic. My sister promised they’d be good, but they’re 18 year olds that have been cooped up for three months. I can’t trust they won’t bring alcohol or invite more people than the original six.
My sister threw a hissy fit at this, saying I was being selfish not “sharing” my wealth with my family (we’re not rich and the house is far from a mansion). Apparently I’m being cruel because my niece is SO bored being stuck at home with her mom and little brothers, and not enjoying summer like she should be. According to my sister, it’s “just one day” and they’re good kids, so I should be lenient.
I love my niece but I don’t appreciate by sister putting me in this uncomfortable situation and trying to guilt me. Aita? ###### | NTA. Can’t your sister find a local park or other public space to use?
She wasn’t wrong for asking, but she’s definitely TA for demanding and name calling ###### |
AITA for refusing to go to my sisters wedding?
This happened almost a year ago, but I’m still getting shit for it, so I guess I’ll share here and see where my judgement lies.
So my sister (s) got married to (A), the man who did bad things to me me. We didn’t press charges because he wore protection so there was no
semen for evidence, so the case was somewhat useless already, and we could afford a lawyer. She knew about this before she dated him. She was the first person I went to. Anyway, they ended up dating and got engaged. S asked me to be her maid of honor, but I told her that there is no way I would go to her wedding, and can’t believe she would marry such a horrible man. We both shed a lot of tears that day, but S still insisted she loved A and that he’d changed.
I ended up not going and severing ties with S. Recently, S had a baby and my parents have been giving me hell for my decision, and refusing to meet my nephew or be in any of their lives. AITA? ###### | NTA. Can’t believe your sister would marry that douche. ###### |
(On mobile) (TL;DR at bottom)
So due to the pandemic, I am working a lot less. Just a dozen hours or so a week online. My fiancee kept most of her hours as her work switched completely to online.
Her work involves a lot of phone calls and meetings where she wants everything to be quiet. Completely reasonable. Because of this, I'll be playing games or watching videos on my computer and use my gaming headset, which is pretty good at blocking out sound. I may hear her talking a bit, but I can't make out any of the words.
Lately, she has been getting upset with me because she would finish a phone call and start talking to me about something, but because I wasn't paying attention, I don't always notice her switch from talking on a work call to talking to me. I'm listening to something or watching something. It's only when she says my name slightly louder (and sometimes multiple times if I'm focused on what I'm watching or doing) that I notice she is talking to me, and take off my headset. This has been annoying her because she would then have to repeat what she was just said, which to be fair is one of her pet peeves (repeating herself).
She says it's rude of me to not listen when she is trying to talk to me, which is fair, but I don't think I should be forced to sit and wait in case she wants to tell me something or ask me something. Am I just being selfish? She has been the one having to work more, so I know she is stressed out. AITA?
TL;DR: Fiancee doesn't like me using my gaming headset because I can't hear when she is doing a work call or when she is taking to me, and I want to use my headset so I don't need to listen to her meetings and can watch videos or play games with sound. ###### | NTA. Can't she just tap you on the shoulder or something before talking to you? It seems unreasonable that you should be forced to listen to all her work calls, because she sometimes says something to you as well. ###### |
So my partner still brings this up on occasion and everyone seems to think it’s super crazy / mean of me, and I’m *still* not very close with the couple this involves, but I literally don’t think it’s that bad?
So three years ago, my boyfriend and I went on a road trip. We visited two of his friends along the way. They’re a couple and I’d met them twice before, but we weren’t close. The guy in the couple was my boyfriend’s college buddy.
While there, my bf broke my suitcase when he dropped it down too hard. I asked if he’d repay me for it, and college buddy jumped in and said “no, what? You’d really ask that....? that’s really rude. He shouldn’t pay you anything, it was an accident.”
I’m a frustrated crier so I got a little teary eyed and went upstairs. My boyfriend didn’t agree with college buddy, he said since he’d broken it he’d just buy me a new one, so it worked out fine— but the next day when I came downstairs the three of them were having breakfast.
The girl goes “hey, feeling better?” I said yeah, I feel fine. She goes “oh good, the crying was a little melodramatic, we’re all glad that’s over!” And they all laughed. I flatly said “Well, that was an inappropriate thing to say.”
It got a little awkward for a few minutes but it blew over. Later as we were leaving she came up to me semi-privately and said “hey I’m sorry, I just tend to be very honest with my good friends” and I said in genuine surprise, “okay? But we aren’t friends. I’ve met you three times.” She looked absolutely shell-shocked and said “wow, that was pretty rude. All when I was trying to apologize, too.” I said “I’m not trying to be mean. You and I are not friends.”
My boyfriend thought it was hilarious in a shocking way that I’d “actually say that to her”. He maintains its the most blatantly rude thing he’s ever seen me do. Apparently it’s a “southern thing” to just call every person you meet a friend, and by saying she wasn’t my friend i basically declared her my mortal enemy.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Calling you dramatic for crying was rude honestly, and I agree that with the few times you met you probably were not close friends, so of course you could feel offended by her making fun of you, and in front of the guys too. It was also rude of her bf to comment on you asking for your bf to replace the suitcase. Your bf didn't have a problem with it, and even if he did, it isn't the other couple's business when *they are only acquaintances, not close friends with you*. ###### |
My aunt posted a fake news about Queen Elizabeth II giving praise about President Duterte on facebook. With fake news being prevalent on facebook, I called her out that it is fake news and haha-ed on the post because it is really funny. She then commented that it is because I have differing opinions about the president, that I am embarrasing her, and not respecting her political beliefs. I told her am respecting her political beliefs, I was just concern because it is fake news. She attacked me with a comment “Can you prove it? Did you talk to the queen herself? Are you even close with her?”. I just explained that fake news is prevalent especially nowadays there are alot of edited quotes with photos of celebrities, politicians, dead or alive, and even fictional characters from TV shows. She keeps on saying that I had embarrased her.
My cousin messaged me that I say sorry to my aunt. He also told me how sensitive our aunt was especially with these matters. I complied for the sake of familial ties and to keep peace in the family. I said sorry that if I had offended her and told her that be vigilant about fake news especially she is a local councilor in our community. She then blocked and unfriended me on facebook.
Am I the asshole for calling her out? I did not mean to embarrass or hurt her. I was just concern because that gullibility in fake news could be used against her especially the politics here in the Philippines is filthy, from National down to local community level. She is my fave aunt and she is the only aunt I have. I don’t want to have a fight just because of politics. ###### | NTA. Calling people out on bullshit is usually the right move, and you weren’t a dick about it. ###### |
They have no yard, and we have a huge one. I guess they feel entitled because of that and that they own while we rent.
So they've always trespassed in our yard the past few years, but it was every once in a while. And we didn't want to ruin a kid enjoying the outdoors. Well, since the quarantine it's been every damn day for hours. Which again, we tried to just put up with. But then the kid starts the death-shrieks. And that is very disturbing. And then they start hitting the house.
So I want to talk with them about not playing in our yard, but thanks to social distancing, a text will have to do. Well, the adult/parent threw an absolute fit and personally attacked me and accused me of damaging their property in the past but they were "too nice to say anything."
I just cannot believe it. They trespass, and we assert our rights....and they say I'm the asshole. So...am I? ###### | NTA. Call the cops next time it happens. ###### |
I live in a pretty good neighborhood, all is well and the neighbors are chill except for my next door ones. They are an autistic family (not using this against them, just for details) and they have to stay home all day so they often go out into their yard, which is right next to my house which is placed farther back than theirs.
Today I had my small white bird outside and it was pretty hot, so I offered him a strawberry and some of it stained his feathers. Their youngest child saw my birds feathers stained red around the mouth and ran to the father, who immediately ran over and started screaming at me and saying I was scaring his child, that I was “promoting violence”. I was confused so I had asked him what he meant and he said “Your bird looks disturbing” to which I responded that he’d just had a strawberry. The father said “Well you shouldn’t have your bird out near my kids”. (I was on MY property. He was the one attempting to climb the fence). AITA??? My bird is small and harmless.
Edit: For background info (because I know this sounds bizarre) the family (mostly the father) likes to accuse myself and my family of trying to harm their kids
(Ex: told kid to stop running in front of our car when we pulled out, father insisted we were threatening to run over his kids, mother instructed her child to run up to our elderly family member in attempt to touch her, we told the parent to make sure their children were keeping distance (covid) and she told us we were being prejudiced against autistic people) ###### | NTA. Call the cops and get these interactions on record. Later with enough evidence you can make a case and get a no contact order. ###### |
So hear me(M37) out here on this issue with a family member. My wife and I have two kids who are 2 and under. This family member has the same thing but one of her kid has some health issues. Their little girl has a G-tube and some breathing problems that seems to be getting better. Every time my wife and I do stuff with our kids and wife posts it on social media, family member would comment with stuff like: " Imagine doing that with two kids and one with issues" or "Try getting out of the house in the morning with the oxygen tank, etc..." Or if we are together and kid is doing something that her other one can't she'll mention "Could we not have your kid do that so that mine won't want to do it?" I think the other day was the last straw because my wife posted a picture of our kids at my parent's house with their Grandma because we both had to work(no WFH option for us) and she made a post about how because her kid has health issues and can't see their grandparents (because of what's happening) so people shouldn't be posting things like that. It feels like she's using her kid's health problems to make backhanded comments or us feel bad about doing things. So Reddit, WIBTA if I call her out on that? ###### | NTA. CALL HER OUT. My son has limitations but I'd never use them to shame anyone else. If they need help they can ask for it but it's not free reign to be an ahole. ###### |
Backstory here: I'm Indian, so I wear saris basically everywhere because my parents are really strict about my heritage. Second, I have eczema, so my lower body is covered with scratches, dry skin and scales, and the sari helps cover it up.
So, I'm at my Indian-American cousin (male) to a beautiful American woman's (who we'll call Laura) wedding. Its in India so I pack mostly saris, lehengas and one maxi gown with stockings. (There are a lot of events: mehendi, haldi, thaledivasum, madhereveppu, wedding rehearsal, after party, evening party, two receptions, the ceremony, etc)
So for the haldi, I'm wearing a yellow net sari, which mostly everyone wears for haldi (because they smear turmeric on the bride and the women)
To my shock, the guests were mostly American women wearing short dresses. The bride pulls me aside and asks me to change because she felt MY dress was too gaudy, and hands me a short dress with a diamond pattern. See, I wouldn't have been averse to changing if she had given me a longer dress, but she gave a mini dress which showed off my legs, which were covered in scars, scales, scratches, etc. So, I refused, but I told her that if she could find me a longer dress I would change. She told me I was a bitch for dressing up like that for a haldi, as it obviously was too extravagant for small events.
I left, and that night I was called by a lot of the bride's family members and friends (don't know how they got my number) and told me I was an asshole and things like that because I wouldn't change after the bride had very politely given me a dress and asked me to change, and accused me of trying to upstage her.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA. By American standards, saris are pretty extravagant dresses, but she should've put some thought into Indian heritage if she was holding an Indian wedding in India... ###### |
I've been fairly overweight to moderately overweight my entire life. Until my accident, I was struggling to stay under 200 pounds. I was asked to be a bridesmaid for my friend's wedding, where all the other bridesmaids are moderately overweight to obese. The bride is what I would consider an average weight.
I got into a car accident 7 months ago. As a result, my entire torso got jacked up. The doctors had a LOT of work fixing me, and in doing so had to perform a very similar procedure to a gastric bypass. It was a rough recovery but I'm healthy now. I literally can't eat as much as I would like to. As a result of this and the recovery process, I ended up at 120 pounds, and I had to work to get to 130 pounds. It's going to be incredibly hard to maintain my current weight or gain any.
The only part of my body that didn't shrink is my boobs. Now I have 36D boobs on an otherwise thin frame. I look... ridiculous. I look photoshopped. My body isn't something that is naturally possible. It's hard to find clothes that look good. My old style no longer works and I had to completely find a new style, but my new clothes are working for me.
I've started getting more confident. I've posted pictures of myself in new outfits and have bought a new bridesmaid dress that actually fits me. I'm getting some positive comments, but I'm also getting really mean ones. They're saying that I'm encouraging unrealistic body standards/eating disorders, and making people feel bad that they can't look like something that isn't possible.
My friend that's getting married has cried to me that she feels pressure to lose even more weight for her wedding because "I'll look so much better than her". I don't know if I'm doing something wrong here. I'm just trying to get used to my new body and get more confident. ###### | NTA. But, I'm going to ask you to consider how you speak about your body. I have 34H breasts, naturally, and I'm not much bigger than you weight wise. I'm also very petite and short. So this statement was a bit rough to read:
>I look... ridiculous. I look photoshopped. My body isn't something that is naturally possible.
This is a big change for you, I get that. But try to be kind to yourself. ###### |
So my friend rents a room in my house. The woman he had slept with a few times calls him up and says she just found out she's four months pregnant.
He very suddenly moved her into his room. They go to PP to get an abortion and she tells him she got an ultrasound and she is actually 7 months and can't get an abortion.
Here are some red flags:
She showed up when she was getting evicted from her place.
She has no job and no car.
She holds her stomach area, not her uterus area.
As soon as she was told she's pregnant she started having morning sickness. (3rd trimester)
No one has seen any pregnancy test or the ultrasound.
She looks incredibly small for someone who wasn't exactly skinny before.
Doesn't waddle.
Doesn't look remotely uncomfortable.
Refuses to take prenatal vitamins because she said they'll make her fat.
Hasn't seen a doctor yet.
She takes his money and goes shopping all day.
Am I the asshole for asking for proof that she's pregnant before letting her stay here?
I feel like my friend is being taken advantage of here. I don't agree with her decision to not give the baby up for adoption*, but I want to be supportive.
*to be clear neither one of them want the baby at all, but she is benefitting from keeping it. ###### | NTA. But, are you ready to have a couple and an infant living with you? The dynamic is about to change drastically, if she isn’t lying. You’d have every right to ask them to find a new place, say within a month. I understand your concern as that is your friend. Not showing the ultrasound to the father... biggest red flag. Not wanting to take prenatals is ridiculous. The baby is sucking everything it needs from you, those are just to replenish that and make sure you have everything the baby needs. They do not make you fat. ###### |
Unfortunately, my bird died peacefully from old age in the last month. I had been expecting this for a couple of weeks but I was still devastated. Now, this was my own bird. I paid for her myself, fed her with my other birds every day, and paid attention to her every day as well. My sister has never been interested in our birds other than looking at the cage every so often when she goes outside. She also blamed me for her bird's death which happened last year even though she never paid attention to it and I did all the care for it, she just looked at it even though it was her responsibility.
Anyway, throughout the day she kept randomly mentioning my bird's name at random times and making jokes about her death. Like we were just having a normal conversation and she said my bird's nickname in a mocking voice, this was a little bit ago so I don't remember the exact conversation, but it went something like that son I told her to shut up.
AITA? ###### | NTA. But your sister is behaving like one, with no empathy for your grief. Beloved pets are important to the owner and their loss can be a deep grief. I'm sending you compassion from afar. ###### |
We're not legally married but we have been together for more than five years. He's a combat veteran. He gas lights, uses circular logic, manipulation, and insults. We had a blow up last night. He insulted me, calls me worthless screams about the things he does for me and our baby. He apologized but says that in the heat of the moment he should be allowed to get a free pass on the things he says. He doesn't give me the same pass. Besides, I have more restraint than him.
I want to work at least part time. We have a five month old. He says I can't because I would be working at an entry level position where it wouldn't be feasible or rational because child care would cost as much as I make. I ask him if there is anything wrong with him taking the baby while I work. He says he works, he owns his own business and makes his own hours.
I tell him that what he is doing to me is abuse. That if he is telling me that I can't have a job he can't hold it over my head. That he can't scream at me during an argument about how much he works and pays to take care of us. I tell him that he can't appreciate all of the work I do around the house and that I have the baby most of the time then tell me that I am worthless and don't contribute.
He says he's not stopping me from working. I try to explain to him that when he says I can't do something it does mean that he is stopping me.
He says that he isn't an abuser and that me saying that he is really hurts him. I feel bad. I didn't scream it but I did say it because I was trying to get him to stop and realize what he does. I know it's a hurtful statement. He says he deserves an apology but I don't think I need to give him one. He won't go to counseling. I know he has PTSD, I know that his training, MOS, taught him to employ some of these tactics in order to get results. ###### | NTA. But you should seriously start a plan to leave. ###### |
To paint the picture it's a first generation ipad, which basically has no support for any of their apps anymore including YouTube and most of the app-store apps. The main thing that they can be used for is internet surfing but even then they don't have much proccessing power to load modern websites which take so much power.
I made a reference to this in the description saying that people think they are bricks in 2020 but ive been using it for Spotify which is pre-downloaded. It's not like I'm selling a broken iPad. It can be used as a music hub or even something for a computer enthusiast to jailbreak or whatever they want.
The seller is requesting a return of the item based upon the fact that she can't run YouTube on safari and so they have decided it's broken.
I have tried to explain that if they had done the slightest bit of research on google then they'd have found that they should be buying atleast the second generation iPad which still supports YouTube. I've also offered to send her links to the huge amount of videos on YouTube which go over what they can still be used for and what they can't be used for.
If the response is NTA Ill continue to stand my ground, but I'm being the asshole then I'll issue the refund. I need all of your opinions please ###### | NTA. but you should check eBay's rules about return of products, I know that some selling sites have as a rule that the buyer can return after regretted the purchase. ###### |
My older brother (40’s) is an artist and is a cartoonist that used to do a lot of stuff for nickelodeon and similar back in the day.
He’s made ok money from it (defo not rich or famous) but my Asian dad act like he’s gods gift and so he has this really irritating habit of playing up the fact he’s a cartoonist because our parents bust it out like he’s some rare Picasso.
Anyway I have a journal that I use for weekly planning but it has a space opposite each page that you can use to either junk journal, craft, add to do notes, whatever.
I don’t especially have anything private in there and it sits in my purse which is always open since it doesn’t have a zip.
My bro decided to pluck out my journal because my mom was bragging that I do little sketches sometimes in there and he decided to do a watercolor painting in my journal on a random page of fucking spongebob of all the things which DOES NOT fit the aesthetic of my journal at all.
I didn’t know this happened and when I came down to eat noticed only cuz my journal was open drying. I was like wtf.
I grew irritated only cuz I spend a lot of money buying sticker kits for my journal and this dumb painting is really wtf. I asked him to reimburse me for ruining my journal as I don’t consider it art and he laughed at me and told me to get over myself in the most smug way possible.
I called him a cunt and my dad immediately started yelling at me and it sparked a big argument. Thankfully my mom was on my side but she too thinks I’m making a big deal of this.
Btw I’m a teenager, my bro is my dads from my first marriage if anyone is wondering. ###### | NTA. But you need to learn better interpersonal skills and how to voice and communicate displeasure in a more adult way. Since you’re not an adult yet, you’re NTA but hopefully you start looking into improving these things. ###### |
My mom sent me a video on Facebook known as the "plandemic" video. Basically this video has unproven claims about Dr. Anthony Fauci and the handling of the Covid-19 pandemic. I went to the YouTube channel and saw many other "conspiracy" videos such as how 5G can cause cancer. I decided to report the YouTube channel for being misleading and it got taken down today. At Mother's Day dinner (of all times and places), I brought up how the channel got shut down. She says that I was disrespectful for reporting the channel and that I am essentially her censor. I, however, don't find anything wrong with my actions as these conspiracy theories can be really harmful. Am I the asshole? ###### | Nta. But you didn't have to tell her it was you ###### |
AITA
Two years ago some friends (a couple) approached me and asked me if I would be willing to clean their apt in exchange for a headshot session. The husband was a photographer, I’d seen his work, I was fine with this agreement. I spent about 20hrs cleaning their apt (I have videos of progress using my steam cleaner, before and after pics, etc.). They moved away, but the husband promised he’d be back at least once a month for other photography gigs, so our headshot session “would get done.” He never came back. They moved out of state. I reached out several times asking to come to an agreement on a $ amount instead. I was ignored. Now, they got divorced and don’t speak to one another. The wife is now telling me she had nothing to do with it and I should have said something sooner. Am I the asshole here?! I’m pretty sure they are! And I’d freaking sue if I had their new addresses. But seriously, is it possible I’m the asshole?!? ###### | NTA. But you ain’t never seeing that money :/ ###### |
I'll keep this short and use fake names. Also I'm not a native English speaker, so I apologize in advance for any mistake.
Lily Jones (F27) is my best friend since pre-school. I've known her family since I was 5 years old. Her mom Linda (F51), her dad Joe (F53) and her two younger siblings. As far as I knew her parents were happily married and Lily adores both of them. Joe is a professor in a university.
A couple of days ago, a co-worker (F32) put a picture of her and her parents in her whatsapp status with a short message about being her parents wedding anniversary. I was surprise to see that was Joe, aka Lily's dad but the wife in the picture was not Linda. I thought this may be a mistake, or just someone who looked an awful lot like him. So I message my co-worker and asked something like "Your dad looks familiar, by any chance is he professor Joe Jones that works in x university, I think I attended one of his conferences" and she confirmed it.
As far as I know (and I've known her since I was 5) Lily doesn't know she has any older sister or that her dad has any other family. And as far as I know her parents are married, so I'm really confused right now.
I screenshot the conversation with my co-worker and her whatsapp status but I've been on the fence about sending this to Lily. Would I be the asshole if I send her this? ###### | NTA. But talk to the coworker as well. See if she knows to she deserves to know just as much, and if you can offer to get them together if they both want it. I have a brother who has no idea I'm his sister, and a sister I've never met, both suck. ###### |
Obligatory backstory: my parents are divorced, me and my brother are respectively 21 and 24. My mom remarried a guy with only adult children (like in their 30s), and my dad is about to marry a woman with many children between the ages of 5-15.
I'm getting married in the fall, so I'm in the process of packing up my childhood bedroom. I noticed my dad has gotten out a lot of my old books and toys for when his future step-kids visit. A lot of my books are very sentimental to me, as I adored reading growing up, and I hope to pass on my books to my kids one day. WIBTA to hide my childhood stuff so that I can get it back for my own kids in the future? I don't want my step siblings to get attached to something and then not be able to get it back when I try to reclaim it.
My mom says it's my right to control my stuff but my fiancé says it might be selfish, since I'm not actively using it right now. I'm really torn because I don't want to be the evil stepsister but I also don't want my dad to see his first kids' treasured items as something he can just give to his new family at his own disposal. ###### | NTA. But speak to your dad and tell him that you would like to keep the items you want to pass on, and let him give anything you don’t want to his stepkids.
If you hide things you don’t even want then that’d be you being TA. ###### |
This happened last year but I always wondered if I was TA.
so my dad has three girls (at the time we were 17,15,11) and his wife has three boys (they were 8,12,14) and we lived together in a big house until we moved to a smaller one because rent.
The house has a master room for the parents and four bedrooms so me and my sisters got two rooms and the boys got the other two (bigger) rooms because they live with their mother full time and my sisters and I are in shared custody.
when we went to see the house I found out me designated room was the one used as a storage and it was so small my little sister (15f) couldn't sleep there because she had an adult sized bed and it wouldn't fit. I complained to my dad that my room was the smallest despite the fact I am the oldest child and I spend more time in my room then anyone else. I also complained that my sisters (15,11) had to share a rather small room and that he shouldn't have sighed a contract before making sure the house had enough room for all the children. my dad's wife told me I was ruining the mood because the whole point of seeing the house was to be happy about how pretty it was and that I was the only one complaining. I know I have the right to feel what I feel but since they already sighed the contract and there was no way to change the situation I was ruining her mood.
AITA?
If anyone is concerned I solved the situation. I used the move as an excuse to go live with my mom( something I wanted to do anyway) so now (11f) has "my" room and 15f has the normal room. I sleep in 15f's room in my childhood bed every other weekend. 14M has his own room and his little brothers don't mind sharing a room (their words not mine) ###### | NTA. But seriously, the ONLY thing that could have made this any better is if you and the oldest step brother built a house of cards for dibs on the attic. (I may be showing my age a bit with that remark) ###### |
Just some background, I belong to a low-income family so it took me a lot of hard work to earn a laptop. It’s the only thing that I use for school as all my notes are in there. Especially now that we have a crisis, it’s gonna be hard to buy a new one if I ever break or lose my laptop.
Recently, my sister accidentally broke her chromebook that she’s been using for school. We have no way to have it fixed because of the situation. She’s been known to accidentally break things (her charger, bike, etc) because of her carelessness. The only other device that she has is her iPad but she complains that it’s too small to do her homework. So, my dad asked if my sis could borrow my laptop. I said no because i’m scared she might break it, but my dad got mad because he couldn’t afford to buy her a new chromebook yet. So AITA? ###### | NTA. But PLEASE back up all of your documents to the cloud. Don’t want the entitlement to end up with you losing all of your work.
Also, IPad keyboards are pretty cheap. I have one from Logitech that I got for my iPad 2 (or whatever it’s called— it’s old) that I’ve had for over 8yrs with no issues. I recently got a newer iPad and got a keyboard: even with the fancy swivel option it was still around $50 iirc.
The keyboards work well. I used the iPad and Logitech keyboard for years of community college note taking. Mine had a magnet edge that snapped onto the iPad and acted as a case. I could stand the iPad up in a groove on the keyboard. ###### |
My GF of two years is scared of cats, and I mean REALLY scared of cats. I have had this cat for 7 years. At first when she came to my place I had to take the cat outside, close all windows or doors and make sure my cat didn't sneak up to play with me or something like that. Long story short, she couldn't take it anymore and told me that she feels really uncomfortable knowing that there is a cat lurking around and that she wouldn't come to my place again if I didnt get rid of my cat. We tried therapy but it looks like the therapy is for me to cope with the loss of my pet.,
I don't want to give my cat away so last saturday we talked about this and broke up ..Now I feel like shit for ruining my relationship. AITA?
[Kitty](https://i.imgur.com/oBgaopm.jpg) not knowing what is going on :(
EDIT1:
HOLLY CRAP! I didn't expect this amount of response! Thank you everyone for taking the time and leave your comment. It is hard to understand that things and plans sometimes doesn't work or go the way we want and that is fine, that is life. It is harder when feelings are involved. ###### | NTA. But personally if I had to choose between a pet of 7 years or a girl I’m choosing the pet 10/10 times. ###### |
I'm a trust fund child. My father is extremely well off and a complete narcissist.
My mother died when I was young. I was raised by my maternal grandparents as my father wanted nothing to do with me. He would show up for a week or two at a time, set me up with money and told me constantly how he wished I hadn't been born.
So there's that.
Anyways a year ago I was contacted by this girl in her late teens claiming to be my half-sister and that she was reaching out because she wanted to get to know me.
Now I was skeptical and asked for proof and she sent me pictures of her and my father at various ages. She seemed to have a really good childhood and if I didn't know better I'd say it wasn't even the same man.
I asked for a DNA test just to be safe and it confirmed we are related.
She kept talking about how she knew she had a sister somewhere and how amazing her childhood was and I just started to hate her.
She had a family. She got to do ballet and take voice lessons and she went to a top school for theatre. She went to a fancy private school and was captain of the girls *fencing* team. She had people do her hair and makeup for special events because she could.
My family was dirt fucking poor and I refused to touch my father's money for a long time.
Her father loved her and I got "here's a couple million, see you next year" from him.
Now she wants to meet me because we're "family" and I told her no. I told her we're not family and that we share blood and that was it. We had nothing in common and we clearly had different parents.
She's upset because I'm being cold to her and my father changed the terms of my trust so now I can't claim any more of the assets until I meet with her.
AITA? Should I meet with her?
The money isn't important at this point, I am already set for life. ###### | NTA. But personally I would want to meet her and share your story, with the intention to expose the type of person your father really is. You’ll have access to your trust again (don’t forget to mention to her how you’re father changed the terms of your trust) and how she views her father will never be the same. ###### |
So I live in a small rented apartment with two other women. We don't hang out much and more live together for convenience. Recently I've started noticing that my milk is running out faster than I've been drinking it. I'm vegan so I drink dairy free oat milk. I'm pretty confident that I know who it is but every time I confront her she denies it. My friend suggested that I fill the carton with normal milk as she is lactose intolerant. I think it's a good idea but I don't want to go to far. So WIBTA? ###### | NTA. But label it as yours first...put “for wowlookatthatpickle only”on it so that it’s clear. Then if she wants to try to penalize you somehow because she got sick she has to admit to ingesting your clearly labeled personal property. ###### |
I (M 21) am staying with my mom and her boyfriend (M 50) of 2 years at our family home.
This evening, I was being yelled at told “how wrong I am” and how bad my actions are because I simply forgot to put a kitchen appliance away in the cupboard. I usually put it away, but when I was waiting for it to dry, I forgot about it. It was an honest mistake and I genuinely forgot that I had used it. But I was being screamed at and felt like I was a criminal because I honestly forgot to do something. Me forgetting to put it away did not inconvenience anyone, nor did it impact anyone in any way, so I was genuinely confused. I then tried to defend myself by saying it was an honest mistake, but I was told “that’s not right” repeatedly, and that “we need to put things away to keep the house nice” by mom’s boyfriend. This is where things further escalated. I said that I didn’t think it was a big deal to accidentally forget something, and pointed out that I cleaned my mom’s boyfriends lunch dishes that he left lying out for several hours after work one day, and that we all forget to put things away. According to my mom and boyfriend, this crossed a line and I am “selfish” for telling him that. In my mind, I was just defending myself and pointing out the hypocrisy, trying to show that I thought my mistake was a common mistake that didn’t warrant the scolding I received. Now, since we were all adults here, and my mom’s boyfriend is not responsible for me, I didn’t see any problem in our exchange. But according to them, I was undermining his authority and should never speak to him like that. I didn’t think what I said was mean or ill at all, I was just pointing out that what I did was very minor, and that other people, including my mom’s boyfriend, have done similar things recently. He is not my father, nor do we any relationship like that as I am an adult, and was when my mom started dating him. So, AITA for pointing out my mom’s boyfriend’s hypocrisy? ###### | NTA. But I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to find a reason to target you and get your mom on his side, and make your life worse. Defending yourself by proving a point isn’t an asshole move. ###### |
I occasionally buy an ice cream that's about double the cost of regular ice cream. It has more rich, creamy texture and is by far my favorite. My wife has some significantly younger siblings and cousins who are at our house fairly often (6-7 year olds). I don't want them to eat the expensive stuff because they would be just as happy with a cheap or store brand version of the same flavor. My wife gets irritated by it occasionally, but I dont think the kids can tell the difference.
AITA? ###### | NTA. But I'd always keep some of the cheap stuff on tap for the kids. ###### |
Good luck with your new job. I hope you got the landlords permission for the lock as this is a joint tenancy, did you think I was going to still your spider man toys? Either way I'm not bothered except it looks awful and you should have asked/done a decent job of it. Anyways, hope everything goes well with your job
(The lock is perfectly lined up, fits the door flush to the edges of the door frame, and there isnt a single scuff mark around it)
Am I the arsehole for not asking his permission to install a lock on my room? Or is he the arsehole for not bringing it up until after left for 3 months? I feel like he should be happy to have a 3 bedroom house to himself for 3 months while I'm still paying full rent. ###### | NTA. But I would be suspicious of him. He sounds incredibly angry and spiteful that you put up a lock on your own door. That is not a normal reaction, it's a very glaring overreaction. It sounds like he's really angry and that you've inconvenienced him in some way. I wonder why this bothers him so much and what plans he actually had that you've now foiled. Because it is your own property and your boundary and your door. He has nothing to do with your room-- unless he does and this messes things up. ###### |
My SO has two kids and I’ve been with him for 3 years. Recently moved in with him back in January. Before I moved in I had a lot more time to myself and got really into an online game that has a commitment to be online and play with a group of people 2 days a week. My real life friends play this game, which is how we spend time together these days.
My SO hates that I game. Sometimes he is chill with it, but times like yesterday where I played an extra hour Monday night when he was going to bed (he sleeps at 8 PM) or if he’s just in a bad mood he starts making comments about how I’m “cracked out on games” or that games are obviously more important than him and nothing gets done around the house unless he does it (he was upset his kids made messes around the house), or that I put a group of random dudes over him. He also said that he might as well go out to a bar and hang out with a bunch of chicks because it’s the same thing.
I pretty much refuse to stop gaming at this point as this is my major point of contact with my friends (we live far away and we have shelter in place). I’ve cut down time significantly already to 2-3 hours in the evening 2 days a week. Everything else I do with him 100% - I have no other hobbies outside of this relationship. I also pay 3/4 of the rent, work full time (although I work from home and he has to physically work 12 hrs a day), cook every night and do some of the cleaning, although most of the cleaning is admittedly on him (laundry/mopping/dishes). I help his older kid with homework every day he is here and have been the primary driver of making sure his kids are behaving, going to bed on time, etc.
I feel like I have a right to have some “me time” a couple hours a night for a couple days a week. So AITA for refusing to give up gaming? ###### | NTA. But I do have to point out that this being an issue is a huge red flag. Two evenings a week of gaming is not excessive. If your SO is this jealous of your time you may want to rethink your living situation. He sounds very controlling and could just get worse with time. ###### |
I was just fired from my job that ha given me a company phone. I was not given a chance to remove personal information like passwords and personal accounts off of it. It also had text messages from company contacts and workers. After 12 hours I did a remote erase of the phone being that I still had access to it via find my device. Ex employer confronted me about it and is super pissed. I brought up that the last person fired (for completely different reasons) didn't have the intelligence to erase her phone so the owner and his wife went thru all of her personal stuff on her phone and to my knowledge still do because she hasn't changed her FB password? There were a couple other things that he was acting about ( he saw me pull into a gas station, he doesn't have my new phone number) that irrelevant to this question. ###### | NTA. But dude, come on. Don't put FB and stuff like that on work phones. Assuming they have been set up to do so, they can monitor your phone at all times; wiping it when you no longer work for them is too late. ###### |
Hi Reddit,
I know the title sounds crazy but I just want to know if I’m in the right or wrong.
A couple of months ago, My ex girlfriend came to visit me while I was sick at home. We had been in the breaking up stage for months, with no end in sight <she did not want to let go>. I had moved on emotionally and really wanted nothing to do with her. Ex girlfriend comes to my house, without notice, and proceeds to talk about nonsense and why do I want to leave her, and me being sick and not wanting any drama, asks her to leave. She refuses to leave and i let her know that if she doesn’t leave I will call the police. After that she locks herself in my room, and I proceeded to call. Cops arrive and remove her, but she claims she came to pick up some items (false).
Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. But don't let her into the home, man. Stay healthy! ###### |
This happened years ago. A friend (22F) asked me (22F) to go on a group camping trip shortly after my boyfriend and I broke up. I agreed to go, and she paid for the camping site. I found out afterwards that everyone else going was dating each other...four couples and myself. She said that I would have to bring my own tent and sleep alone and could join the others in the daytime. I gave her my part of the money for camping but told her I would not be going on the camping trip to be a ninth wheel immediately after a breakup because it made me feel really awkward and rubbed in the feeling that I was alone, but that I appreciated the invitation and would go camping with her another time. She was very upset and said that I had promised to go, which is true, but it was not quite a 'group of friends' event, it was a couples camping trip...with me as the awkward ninth wheel. So tell me, Reddit, AITA for backing out of a camping trip that I had promised to go on, because the trip was a different group than I expected? ###### | NTA. But did she explain why she was so upset that you felt the need to write a post?
Sure, you pulled out. But you paid your bit and there were 7 other people on the trip she was hanging out with ###### |
Here's the situation. I've been living in this shared apartment with 2 other poeple for 3 years now. The other two havent always been the same two people but keep constantly changing like every 6-12 months. So I'm not really building a relationship with them here. And for 3 years I've been living there I've bought/brought almost every necessity there can be and I never charged any of the others for it. Practically 95% of the kitchen tools and whatnot is from me. Be it pans, pots, knives, mixers, even a freezer, its all mine. And I plan on taking everything with me when I move in with my gf sometime soon, like in 1-2 years. I paid for it, so why shouldn't I take it? I'm definitely planning on doing so but 10% of me still feels kind of bad to let the other 2 people, whoever they may be until then, sit there with just one shitty ass old pot and no kitchen machines (toaster, mixer, microwave). ###### | Nta. But be straight up with your current/future roommates about your plan so they can make preparations. Its your stuff. ###### |
I saw a post really similar to this, and everyone was calling the OP an asshole so I wanted to see if I was also an asshole.
About seventeen years ago, I found out that my daughter, who was then nineteen, was pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. Of course she was in University and did not want children but my husband and I asked if she would be okay with us raising the kids and she said yes.
Unfortunately, during the pregnancy she cut us off. To this day I don't know why, but we didn't see her for about a year, until we got a call one night saying she had overdosed and asking us to come pick up the babies, who for the purposes of this post, I will call Liam and Faith.
My daughter passed, and she left two three month old babies. My husband and I took custody of and eventually adopted them, but their names were horrible.
The boy's name was Liam Pippin Smoke, and the girl's name was Indica Dreamcatcher Faith.
We have no idea where she got those names from, immediately after taking custody of them, we began calling them Liam and Faith. After we adopted them, we legally dropped the other names.
The kids are sixteen now, and they still don't know that they used to have other names. I told this story to a friend of mine, who also adopted a child with a ridiculous name, and she said I was horrible. She said I should have just left Liam's name alone, and just switched the placement of Indica and Faith. She said that middle names are rarely used anyway, and that I cut off all connection they had to their mother.
Personally, I would never want to saddle a child with a middle name like Indica or Smoke, but I do feel like I might be in the wrong here. My daughter picked these name, and sometimes I feel wrong for changing them.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Burdening a child with a name explicitly linked to drug use is terrible on the mother’s part, and could potentially have serious repercussions.
You kept the original names to a point, just removed the frankly inappropriate parts. That’s totally okay. ###### |
My(23F) brother(28) is dating this guy(20). He told me and our parents about it a year ago. I was kinda weirded out about the age difference but they’re both adults so I didn’t say anything.
I visited my brother often and I got close with his boyfriend too, we became good friends. Last time I visited them(this was few months ago before all this stuff was happening by the way),my brother wasn’t home, so me and his boyfriend were hanging out. I was on his laptop and going through the photos, I wasn’t snooping, he was sitting right next to me, doing something.
I came across an old photo of him and my brother. He looked reaally young. I asked him about it and at first he kind of freaked out, but he finally told me that they’ve been dating for longer than they told us. He told me that they have been seeing each other for 6 years. So he was 14 and my brother was 22.
I was really shocked and disgusted. I left, he called me few times but I ignored it. Few hours later my brother started calling me. I answered and told him that I was disgusted with him and I didn’t want to see him anymore. He said that they weren’t even really dating and they started dating when he was 18, basically bullshiting me.
I’ve cut him off completely. Only person who knows the actual reason is my best friend. She says that I’m kinda overreacting and since they’re both adults now there’s no point in having this reaction. ###### | NTA. Brother's a groomer. ###### |
So recently, I moved out of the state to start a new job. My gf who I had been with for about a year, decided to follow me a few months later. She had assumed that I would get rid of the dog when she moved in, but I had no plans to. She gets weirdly jealous of the dog, and is insistent that she is in her cage whenever I am not directly petty or playing with it. She also thinks it is okay to yell at the dog for no reason when it is being well behaved. At this point I’m ready to call the relationship quits because I can’t stand the way she treats my dog. AITA? ###### | NTA. Break up with her. Assuming you'd get rid of your dog for her without even talking to you about it is a huge red flag, and keeping a dog caged 24/7 unless you're actively interacting with it is abusive and something that you as its owner have a responsibility to put a stop to. ###### |
AITA for telling my friend to see a therapist instead of coming to me with her mental health problems?
My childhood friend has been struggling from mental health issues for the past 2-3 years. She refused to see a therapist (even had a fight with her parents about it), but she’s comfortable talking with me, so I’ve taken on the role of unofficial therapist.
We normally talked at my house after school, but I was working on college applications at the time and dealing with mental health issues and family troubles of my own, so I told her that I didn’t have time anymore.
We still talked at school, and she seemed okay with that, but after a few weeks she started calling me late at night and showing up unannounced. Whenever I said I was busy, she‘d wait at my doorstep until I let her in out of guilt.
I eventually told her to talk to her parents and find a real therapist, but she said that she hates her parents and doesn’t trust therapists. She also didn’t want to speak to her other friends because “she didn’t want to bother them”.
Then I snapped and told her if she didn’t want to bother her friends, then why was I the exception? I said that I had my own problems and responsibilities to handle, and I couldn’t manage her mental state when my own wasn’t even stable.
She cut off all connections with me. Later her boyfriend messaged me and said that I shouldn’t have abandoned my friend when her problems became “too inconvenient” for me. I told him that I was never qualified to be a therapist in the first place, and that being one had made my own mental health problems worse. He said I was just making excuses. ###### | NTA. Boundaries are healthy in any relationship. You're not a therapist and even if you were you wouldn't owe her every ounce of your time and energy. ###### |
I have a pair of leopard print vans I don’t wear much but they are new, I let my mum wear them because it matches with her cougar style lol but today it’s her birthday and I spotted her wearing my vans without socks I asked her to put socks on because they were my shoes and I didn’t want them to smell, now she is yelling at me and super annoyed, threatening to kick me out, saying I’m ruining her birthday and she gives everything to us and that I’m selfish. I’m shocked but also kinda feel bad now because it’s her birthday but who wants smelly shoes? ###### | NTA. Borrowed shoes should always be worn with socks. ###### |
My car has a small Blue Lives Matter flag sticker on the back window, since the car used to be my mom’s and she put it on before she got a new car and gave her old one to me. I have never personally agreed with the ideas behind Blue Lives Matter, but I kept the sticker up because my stepdad is a police officer and my mom would be upset if I took it off. However, everything going on with police brutality lately has really made me uncomfortable having the sticker on my car. WIBTA for wanting to take off the sticker, even if my stepdad is a police officer? ###### | NTA. Blue lives matter is a really specifical movement that has a lot of really negative and racist undertones. If you dont agree with it take it off. Its your car now. ###### |
So I (m33) met my wife (f34) 10 years ago in high school via a friend. She introduced me to Fleetwood Mac, and one of my favorite songs is "black magic woman" and as a cute nickname, i started calling her that.. She thought it was funny, and it's been a cute little inside joke between us.
She's half Colombian, Half Jamaican, but I never really thought of her skin color when I started calling her that.
Yesterday, me, her and her high school friend she hadn't seen in many years were hanging out at home. They were catching up on each other's lives, and I was just watching TV. She suddenly stood up and went to the kitchen and asked us if we wanted to have tea. I said "sure, black magic woman!" to her as she laughed a little.
When she had gone to the kitchen, her friend angry and offended accused me of racism and called me a dickhead. AITA? ###### | NTA. Black woman here. Even without the context of the song it’s not racist. She is black. She is in fact a magic woman. These are definitely touchy times right now. But nothing you said is offensive. Atleast not to me personally. I could see how it could be problematic but it’s not racist.
Maybe in the future you could just say “magic woman” and between you two the rest of the joke is inferred.
Also you should just double check in with her about her feelings. A little extra communication never hurt anyone. ###### |
I'm new to this so I'm just going to apologise now if I'm doing it wrong, sorry!
I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant and I was talking to my SO about the labour and how I hope things go smoothly because they didn't last time and I'm quite terrified. A bit of background my son was prem, it was a very difficult and traumatising birth. He spent 4 weeks in the SCBU ward.
I've been reading up on things to try and make it a positive experience this time around and although I know you can't control how labour goes one of the things was to make it as different as possible to your last birth. So I listed to my partner what things I can have different this time and not having a student midwife there was one of them.
With my labour it turned into a ventouse delivery because they needed to get him out ASAP and they asked if it would be okay if the student midwife watched because he'd never witnessed one of those births before. I agreed but mainly I think because I was in so much pain and on a lot of drugs.
So this time I've said I don't want anyone there who doesn't need to be there and my SO said that would be unfair of me because I could be the reason this person takes longer to pass? (we're not so sure how becoming a qualified midwife works so we we're just guessing). I understand what he's saying but I just don't want to have anything the same as last time if I can help it. SO said he'll support me whatever as I'm the one giving birth but I've thought about it and I'm now worried AITA? ###### | NTA. Birth is not spectator sport. My daughter was premature and I gave birth at a teaching hospital. The moment my daughter was crowning, the neonatologist brought in several ob/gyn students. I was so shocked and focused on pushing my kid out, I didn't even tell them to get the fuck out.
I don't remember consenting to having students watch my birth, but in any case, no, you are not the asshole here. With my next pregnancy and birth, I totally do not want any students watching me give birth. ###### |
My dad wanted to take us all out for something, he said it was a surprise. For the past week I've had covid symptoms and I came down with a 100° fever yesterday. I told my dad that I wasn't feeling up to leaving the house and he kept trying to make me leave along with my siblings. I snapped and screamed at him and this prompted him to cancel the outing. My siblings won't talk to me and they keep saying pretty rude things now. Did I go too far? ###### | NTA. Being sick (whether it’s Covid or not, pandemic or not) is more than enough reason to bow out of an outing. Your dad could have taken everyone else instead of canceling the whole thing. ###### |
I’m 25 and have been with my SO for 2 years. I knew she was into polyamory before we started dating but agreed to be monogamous while in the relationship.
Occasionally my SO would ask me what I thought about being poly and I told her I support other people doing it but wasn’t into the idea for us. One month ago she said how it bothered her that we were monogamous and that her being poly is “just who she was.” Eventually I agreed that we could try it in the future.
Before this, she made a new friend and spent a lot of time together. Hanging out at each other’s house and talking and texting on the phone for hours. At first I was happy that she was making a friend not putting 2 and 2 together but last week she revealed that she had feelings for him and vice versa.
I know I agreed to being polyamorous but I can’t help but to feel loss. I feel like my self-defense mechanisms are going to make me stop loving her to deal with the pain of imagining her being embraced by someone else. I was also thinking that if we broke up now we could at least have our memories and be in good terms instead of developing pent up resentment and eventual hatred for an ex. If I could just press a button to be okay with all of this I would. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. Being poly or open simply isn’t for everyone. It sounds like your partner either changed their mind, or bait-and-switched you. You shouldn’t have agreed if you weren’t truly comfortable. This isn’t gonna end well if you’re just doing it to make them happy. ###### |
My daughter is home right now from uni. We have a great relationship and we talk about random shit. My sister and her kids are also home right now because her appartement is getting fumigated.
To the story my daughter has known that she has fertility problems since her late teend, due to an illness. Luckily infertility and iron deficiency are the only symptoms.
We were talking while drinking a coffee in the living room where my sister was helping my niece with her homework. And I think we were talking about her last boyfriend or something and we were also watching one of those trashy shows on TV. Along the lines of 16 and pregnant. And she was like "uff imagine if I had done that to you when I was 16!" we laughed and then in a rather serious way I said "if that happened now to you tho, I would help you to raise the child no questions asked. Not even questioning who the father is". And I meant it. My daughter laughed and we moved on with our conversation.
When making dinner my sister comes to the kitchen and starts lecturing me about how I should not project my baby crazyness on my daughter. I was confused and she explained that the comment I made was hyper inappropriate specially seeing as daughter had the fertility problems. I toldy sister to keep her nose out of our business and that we have a good enough relationship that even if it was inappropriate, she would have told me herself.
Daughter is sleeping still and I just wonder if I stepped over a line. I like babies and I would like to be a grandma *some day*, but never in a thousand years would I pressure my daughter to become a mom because I want grand babies. ###### | NTA. Being open about this stuff is always better for everyone. You sound like a supportive person who gets that some people go through real problems and you would be there should that happen. ###### |
I was talking with my friend who is very sheltered and didn’t know there were people who weren’t straight or cis. Anyway, we were talking and at some point I said “me and my girlfriend have been dying to see each other again” and she said “I thought you hated when girls referred to there girl-friends as girlfriends?” I said, “I do but I mean she is actually my girlfriend like we are in a relationship” she was very confused and so was I, so the following conversation occurred.
K: why are you dating a girl if you’re a girl? Only males and females can be attracted to each other
Me: well no actually, men can be in romantic relationships with men and women can be in romantic relationships with women
K: that doesn’t make any sense. Why would you date someone you don’t like?
Me: well... you shouldn’t. We do like each other, that’s why we are dating. You can feel romantically attracted to the same gender. You can be gay, or bi, or pan, or poly, or omni.
K: what do all those mean and what are you and your “girl...friend”
*i explain*
2 days later
K: this is K’s parents and apparently you told our daughter about the gays.
Me: yes I did is there a problem?
K: yeah we didn’t want a corrupt gay daughter but now because of you we might not be able to fix her
Me: she isn’t gay, and she isn’t corrupt
K: we will be blocking you off of her phone now please do not speak to her at school
I feel like I did the right thing but I also feel like maybe it wasn’t my place to teach. So AITA ###### | NTA. Being homosexual is not acquired. There is this fiction that it would occur when being informed about it. That is just wrong. Sexuality is not as clear cut as the family of your friend seems to think. Homosexuality is a naturally occurring thing and nothing to be ashamed about.
Having said that I fear you will lose this friend because they consider your sexual orientation as disturbing either due to their culture or their religion. ###### |
I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday, and we were talking about what things we look for in a partner. She asked me if there were any things that would be dealbreakers for me, and I said smoking. My mom is a smoker and I have always hated it. Everything in our house smells like smoke and it's gross (and never goes away no matter how many times you wash your clothes/blankets), plus it gives me headaches all the time. I don't care if people smoke, that's their business, but I would NOT want to live with a smoker again and it would definitely be a dealbreaker in a relationship.
Now my friend is pissed at me because she used to smoke (I didn't know that) and she says I'm basically saying that I think she's gross and wouldn't have been friends with her if I knew she smoked. Which isn't even true, as I have other friends who smoke and it's fine. I just wouldn't want to LIVE with them. But my friend when and told all the rest of our friend group, and they're all angry at me! I tried to explain better, but they won't hear it. AITA? ###### | NTA. Being friends with a smoker isnt the same as dating them unless ur under the same roof.
It's like smoking is a deal breaker for u and that's okay. It's ur personal preference.
>Now my friend is pissed at me because she used to smoke (I didn't know that) and she says I'm basically saying that I think she's gross and wouldn't have been friends with her if I knew she smoked.
You're friend's prolly insecure and doesn't know how to handle that fact. Also, she responded poorly. ###### |
I was unloading my groceries and found a devotional booklet and a note from my instacart person encouraging me to find Jesus in these dark times.
My order was otherwise just fine, and I won’t change my tip, but I don’t I don’t know how assholish I would be leaving a low star review for the literature. I don’t want to fuck with anyone’s income, and I’m sure this person thinks they’re being kind, but I find the proselytizing unprofessional and exceedingly unwanted.
So, WIBTA giving low star review with a complaint about the religious literature? ###### | NTA. Being a delivery driver does not give you license to force religion on strangers. ###### |
I have a coworker, let’s call him John (28m), who has very “old fashioned” ideas about gender roles.
Today I overheard him going on and on to another coworker, let’s call her Sylvia (22f), about how her boyfriend isn’t a “real man” because he wasn’t a great conversationalist. Sylvia tries to explain that her boyfriend just isn’t very social, and he doesn’t really like social events (where everyone met). John ignores her and keeps saying that he was acting like a shy little kid, and he has a lot of growing up to do before he becomes a “real man”. Sylvia checked out of the conversation and let John go on his little rant. All og a sudden, John starts talking about it is women’s fault for men acting like children. He goes on to explain that “all women are unable to control their maternal instict”, which makes them reward immature boys with relationships so that the women have something to mother. I left the room at that point. It was too much for me to have to listen to.
Another coworker (31f) who overheard it brought up how it made her uncomfortable. I agreed, and said I was thinking of bringing it up with HR since this isn’t the first time John has been spouting this sort of stuff. My coworker told me that I would be a huge jerk if I told HR, and while it made her uncomfortable she realizes John isn’t from here (he grew up in Romania) so she manages to “get over herself”. She told me I could tuin his career, and that doing so just because his views are different is messed up. I still have a huge problem with the way he talks about gender roles, but now I’m second guessing if I should go to HR.
WIBTA if I went to HR about it? ###### | NTA. Been to Romania, know people from Romania, they don't live in sheds and drink oly goat milk, it's a modern, civilised country and his opinions would have been just as backwards in Romania. Actually excusing his behaviour because he's "from Romania" is low key racist, because you imply it's somewhat more acceptable there. Go to the HR instead of shielding him from responsibility.
ETA: Obviously "xenophobic" is a better word here. ###### |
So we have 3 kids, 17, 15, and 10. I’m only a quarter Japanese but spent ~7 years in Japan when I was a teenager living with my parents there. I’m pretty fluent as my job requires a lot of Japanese as well.
My wife doesn’t speak Japanese at all and only speaks English. A few years ago my oldest and second oldest wanted to learn Japanese in school which she initially encouraged. Recently they’ve gotten to the point where they can understand great but still struggle to have the confidence to speak out loud. So sometimes at home I’ll practice with them for short periods of time. Like “how was your day, what did you have for lunch, etc.” They’re not advanced enough to hold long deep convos.
This has increasingly bothered my wife because she doesn’t understand and always assume we are talking about her (we’re not, it’s all very basic stuff). It has gotten to the point where she has instituted a house-wide ban on all Japanese because she thinks its exclusionary to her and our youngest and bad for family unity. Ive tried to calm her fears but I also don’t think having 5-10 minutes of Japanese conversation every day is bad for the whole family. She told me that in the US it’s universally rude to have conversations of any length that not everyone can understand.
However when she’s not around I’ll still speak to my kids in Japanese now and then. Recently our youngest heard us speaking Japanese very briefly in the backyard and told mom. My wife came home that night apoplectic and threatened to cut off our kids tuition if they insist on disrupting our family harmony. Then we had a massive fight between the two of us where she accused me of betraying her and making her look like the bad guy in front of the kids.
I feel completely torn, on one hand I did go behind her back to speak in Japanese to our kids, but on the other she was giving 0 wiggle room. But I’m not sure if I handled it poorly. AITA? ###### | NTA. Becoming adept at multiple languages helps brain development and wires your brain to be open to learning more languages in the future. I understand why your wife may feel left out, but you are really setting your children up for success, which is the point of parenting.
Show her this article by a Child Psychologist: [https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/education/article224778775.html](https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/education/article224778775.html)
If this doesn't sway her, maybe talk to your kids' teachers or pediatricians.
Edit: Just caught the kids' ages. That's even more unacceptable on her part. They SHOULD be learning more than one language and practicing. Would she feel the same way if it was Spanish?. Don't they take language classes in school? Do they not practice those at home? ###### |
AITA for not speaking to my sister until I get an apology
So I’m currently not speaking to my sister, being stuck inside is getting to her and we’re all a bit tense and fighting more, but over the last few months she’s taken to saying that I constantly insult her and that I’m a horrible sister. Bc of everything this has obviously happened more often and my brother has told me that my sister has repeatedly told my brother I have said that I’m always horrible to her.
For clarification, me and my sister have always got along very well, granted she can be annoying, and act out because she’s young, but I NEVER insult her, the worst I have done is call her out on her bad behaviour but I never insult her, I just don’t. Let alone say the things she’s accusing me of.
I ask her not to eat the strawberries with my name on them that I bought? Tells people I’m calling her fat
I ask her to leave my room bc I wanna be alone bc I’m talking about stuff I don’t want her hearing on the phone? I hate her and don’t wanna speak to her
When we were allowed I spent a lot of time at my boyfriends, in a fit of rage she has repeatedly said she likes it better when I’m not here.
I am tired of being told that I’m horrible and that I constantly insult her when I literally never do, so I’m not speaking to her until she apologises, my mum thinks I should drop it bc “she’s young and sHeS bEcOmInG a TeEnAgEr” and thinks I’m mean, but personally I know she’s extremely smart and picks up on things my mum thinks she doesn’t, and I think at almost 13 years old she’s old enough to take responsibility for her actions since I’ve taken this shit for months. ###### | NTA. Becoming a teenager in not an excuse to be a total brat. It usually has something to do with the parenting. Or in this case the lack of. ###### |
My dad makes a lot of promises, but never keeps them and just says “I never said that” or something similar to go back on it. A little while ago, he told me that if I did the dishes I could have my Netflix permissions back (they took away everything above tv14) so I did, but he said he didn’t remember making that promise.
Every time before I do what he wants, I clarify in the clearest way possible what our deal is. So last night, he said that if I took the dogs for a walk I could stay up an extra hour to watch the rest of a movie I was watching. I agreed, but turned on the record option on my phone.
So the conversation was basically ‘So, if I take the dogs for a walk, I can stay up an extra hour and watch my movie?’ And he (annoyed) said ‘YES. I already said that didn’t I?!’. So I went for a walk, came back and he told me to go to bed. I told him what he said and he said 'I would never agree to that’ and told me to ‘stop lying’ so I showed him the video.
He let me stay up, but he got mad and said I ‘invaded his privacy’ and that ‘I had right to record him’. They now look through my phone and delete any photos or videos they don’t approve of. I don’t think I really did anything wrong, but the rest of my family says I should’ve just let it go and not made it a big deal. AITA for recording my dad?
EDIT: I love my family, and I really don’t think my dad is abusive. I think he is just bad at keeping his word. Thank you all for your support though. Anyways, I brung up possibly signing it on paper as many of you suggested, and he got annoyed that I brung it up again and walked away. I’ll talk to him again when he’s cooled off a bit more ###### | NTA. Be sure to mention **why** you recorded the conversation due to promises being consistently broken. This isn’t a once or twice type issue ###### |
I (20F) used to dress very conservatively, I had body issues (I was 11stone at 5’6/ or almost 70kg at 1.676metres) so not really overweight but I carried it all on my stomach, I was really self conscious.
I dropped to 9stone this year and while I still have my days of being unhappy and still think of losing weight, I love my body most of the time.
I’ve started wearing dresses too, I absolutely love crop tops but never had the confidence for that.
I always ask my boyfriend for opinions on clothes, I’ve never been the best at fashion and he’s better at picking outfits than I am.
When I showed him a certain crop top he said “You’ve gone from showing nothing to everything, do what you like but be ready to get comments”
I put it off, but while shopping in town today I decided fuck it and got it, I love it and I feel so confident in it.
Now he’s upset because I asked his opinion on it and went ahead and got it knowing he isn’t comfortable with it.
He says it’s about mutual respect and that I’ve made him pass up on clothes before (cyclist shorts that were very short)
AITA? ###### | NTA. Be ready for comments? Wtf? Is he the kind of man who thinks a woman deserves to get assaulted if she wears a short skirt? The misogyny is gross. ###### |
Because of Covid a course I was about to take in college decided to change its format. This course is lab based but professors decided we could work at home, designing the experiments and sumbitting a lab report.
I was assigned with only one classmate and we have been worked really good, however, two weeks ago we started our last experiment.
I texted him three times during those 2 weeks and evey time he told me he hadn't started his part and that he would do it tomorrow.
Last friday we had an online presentation about this last experiment. I texted him on wednesday morning and he texted back on thursday night, saying that he'd rather we use my data because his wasn't finished (looks like not even started), but he offered to help with the PowerPoint, which he didn't because he didn't even know what I did.
But, since we had worked well in the previous experiences I just write his part of the presentation and I decided to let all this slide.
Now he have to submit our report tomorrow and I wrote him yestersay, and he hasn't responded. I have already finished the report but I intend on sumbitting it with my name only and talk to the professor. I wouldn't tell my partner so that he thinks I will make his work.
So, WIBTA? ###### | NTA. Be proactive and email your lecturer/tutor to explain the situation as well. It helps to have a record of any time you tried to contact him as well. ###### |
So my husband (50) and I (47F) have four kids, two 13 year olds, a 15 year old and an 18 year old. Both me and my husband work long hours, especially now because both our companies have been affected by everything going on. Despite this, my husband or I try to cook a healthy meal every night for the family. Usually we try and cook at home 6 nights a week and then eat out or sometimes get fast food on Fridays.
Sometimes though neither of us really want to cook, so we dont. We call these nights "fend for yourself night". The kids can really just make whatever they want, as long as they don't tear up to kitchen. This probably happens maybe once or twice a month at the most.
I personally think that the kids are old enough to cook their own food or make a sandwich. But according to a woman I know, I might as well be starving them. Shes very much a helicopter mom to her three kids, (15F, 17M, 20M) and still does almost everything for them. Even the 20 year old. I find this ridiculous but they arent my kids so I mind my own business. We were on the phone the other night and she asks why I am talking and not busy cooking. I told her that I was very tired from work so we were having a 'fend for yourself night' and I had just had cereal. She starts getting very agitated with me and asks me why I am starving my kids. I told her that my kids usually help cook every night so if they want, they can cook something but they probably are going to have cereal as well. She started getting very mad at me about not cooking my children a meal and how they are not going to be able to eat because I am such a bad and lazy mother. I ended up ending the call by telling her that maybe in her family her almost adult children cant cook a simple meal, but my children are more than capable of doing so. I do feel bad whenever both my husband and I are too tired to cook a meal for my kids but I feel like they should be old enough to get their own food right? AITA for 'starving my kids'? ###### | NTA. At those ages your kids are more than old enough to prepare their own meals. ###### |
First time post so be nice please! And obligatory on mobile. So my(16f) mother(44f) has never been ideal with finances or keeping living spaces. This has happened throughout all my childhood but the financial aspect was worsened when she married her husband 5 years ago(29m). He's a generally unsocialable unpleasant man and has issues keeping jobs. He got into drywall about 4 years ago and has maintained that line of work but is constantly burning bridges and his work isn't very consistent. My mother either works with him or watches my 3 year old brother because his former babysitter has fallen ill recently. Recently he hasn't been getting much work and only went back to work last week. Basically they drain money. Their money goes to paying his brother for working for them, gas, groceries, and God knows what else it just doesn't stay in their account. We were formerly living in a hotel which was expensive so I was more lenient but we are now living rent free at my grandparents house. I've been working about a year, and make between 400-500 a paycheck though I was laid off once lockdown hit but went back in May. Last month my mother and her husband borrowed 400(from my savings) to renew the title and registration to their car. Since then they've continued to borrow bits of money probably its up to about 500 now. The thing that has made me irritated and question is they were supposed to get some money today because her husband sold some stock but still had me buy meat for dinner instead of him. I'm now considering telling her I won't lend her anymore money unless it concerns my brother or gas. It may be important to note she owes my older brother(25m) 2 grand. I don't want to be ungrateful or put them in a bad spot but I want to go to college in a year and they can't afford to pay for it. I honestly need the money for my future. Sorry everyone there's probably more detail than necessary I just want to be thorough! So WIBTA? ###### | NTA. At this point I would just get my own account for savings where they won't have access to (especially if they're just helping themselves to it). Not sure if you need to be 18 to do so but if not, just cash it all out and secure it somewhere safe.
As for your family, I would discuss with them about your concerns and that they should manage their finances more responsibly. It would be wise to tell them you're no longer lending money in a civil manner because if you just up and cut them off unexpectedly there could be some backlash you'd have to deal with. Explaining that it's for your college/tuition expenses could help them understand. Best of luck for your future! ###### |
Hey all, so my school is having final exams this week. The Spanish exam was on Monday, and it was online. Essentially, our professor accused us of cheating.
He told us over a zoom call that he knew several students used google translate on the exam. He then said that google had given the school a list of all the IP addresses of students (LOL) that connected to google translate during the exam. He then said anyone who cheated could go to him to retake the exam to get a C at max, or else he'd submit all the names to the administration for disciplinary action.
He was clearly lying, so i sent private messages to everyone in the class saying that it was a bluff on his part and telling them not to turn themselves in. Several of my classmates got mad at me and said i was enabling cheaters.
AI really TA here? ###### | NTA. At the end of the day it was a bad bluff that was obviously a lie. That said it's pretty obvious if you use Google translate because it tends to get syntax wrong, so your teacher should be able to pick out the cheating by hand. ###### |
My nephew is staying with me for the summer. My brother is a single parent and I have the summer off work so to help my nephew is staying with me just for the convince and so the 13 year old isn't alone all summer.
My nephew has his own cell phone and I thought the Dad still had it locked at night. So my surprise I caught my nephew on his phone at 1 a.m. Told him smarten up and go to bed. Texted his dad just to figure out what is going on. His dad told me to take the phone away and look threw it. I am not a parent so I was a bit uncomfortable.
Well I found out my nephew was on discord talking to significantly older people. There were several inappropriate interactions. The person he kept messaging tried to voice chat 5 times the frist night I had the phone.
Now my nephew is now pissed cause he banned from discord and his phone. Saying I had no right to go threw it.
AITA for going threw his phone and enacting the ban. ###### | NTA. At first glance i disagree with the fact that 1 am is a time to go to bed (but it is your house, your rules), then, as you have talked to his dad abou taking his phone (and who told you to go thru it) and you found out that he was talking to people who would have tried to take advantage of him being a minor, you did the right move, you protected your nephew. He has the right to be mad tho, but you did it for the greater good, he might not understand it today, but he will in the future. ###### |
My girlfriend and I have been living together for a while now. She loves baking bread, I'd say it's safe to say that it's one of her hobbies/passions. As a result we always have delicious bread in our home. I think it's amazing and I'm really lucky.
For the sake of this post I feel like I have to include that I never bake bread. We both cook but I never bake. I never ask her to either she just does it because she enjoys it. She usually bakes bread once or twice a week.
We live in a country where people have been stock piling idiots so supermarkets have been out of toilet paper pasta and apparently also yeast. About a week ago my girlfriend told me that she's out of yeast. She seemed to be bummed because she started being more experimental with her bread baking since we went into lockdown. So I made it my mission to get her yeast. I called every supermarket and finally found a bakery that was happy to sell me some. I picked it up yesterday and wrapped it up as a little present. I wanted to give it to my girlfriend tonight but when I told one of my mates about it today he said that it would be an insulting present. He said it's sexist and my girlfriend might think I want to imply that I expect her to make me bread. He also said it's a bit like gifting her a gym membership when she didn't ask for one.
I'm really unsure now because I DO NOT expect her to bake for me. I genuinely thought she'd like it but I absolutely do not want to offend her.
WIBTA if I give her the yeast wrapped up as a present? ###### | NTA. At all.
As a bonus, throw in a couple flours too.
(Just to play on the old gift of flowers/flours) ###### |
I met my best friend 9 years ago and we've both gone through a lot together. His GF died 7 years ago and I helped put him back together. He was there for me when my parents died. We're like brothers and friends and family have commented that we're like an old married couple. Even during lockdown we've pretty much called each other every day.
I've been with my GF for 3 years and he's been with his for 4 years. Next year we're celebrating 10 years of friendship and about a year ago we decided to take a trip together and we chose Japan as the destination. We've been saving up for it (as well as buying a house each) the entire time and I've also been saving up airmiles as well as using a credit card to get something called a companion voucher, essentially I get a free plane ticket. As such, we've got two 1st class tickets and have split the cost in half. We're hoping to travel next Autumn as we met in September.
My GF never seemed to care about the trip at first and we've been on smaller trips together as a couple, but as of late she's started to get angry that I'm going with him and not her. I finally hit the required spend on my credit card and got the voucher so was pretty excited, now she'd demanding that when I buy the ticket I take her and not him. I refused point blank.
This is an expensive trip, and after buying a house I doubt I'll make this trip again for at least a couple of years if ever. AITA for taking my best friend rather than her? ###### | NTA. At all. Your girlfriend seems pretty jealous, and entitled. It’s fine that she wishes she could go, but to demand, or to even ask, that you take her instead of him is completely unfair. You planned the trip with him. You saved for it with him. The trip is in celebration of YOUR friendship. ###### |
A few months ago, despite taking birth control and using condoms, I got pregnant. It’s always been a dream of mine to have children but after a diagnosis of some pretty severe mental and physical illnesses I decided not to have children biologically. This was a heartbreaking decision to make but I knew I never wanted to make a child suffer like I do. My boyfriend was aware of this decision and agreed that if we ever had children we would adopt. After I became pregnant I completely broke down, my mental health deteriorated and I cried as I scheduled an abortion. As soon as I told my boyfriend this he got angry, he was yelling and crying and begged me to reconsider. One minute he was calling me a bitch, the next he was telling me he loved me and wanted to have a baby with me. I told him that there were just too many reasons why this would be unsafe, I’d have to come off of many of my medications and would almost definitely end up with either psychosis or PPD. He started ignoring me and didn’t say one word to me for over a week, the day after I had my abortion he broke up with me. Now I’m living with my parents for a while and every few days a member of his family will text me to tell me that I murdered his baby. Am I really a murderer? I thought I made the right decision, but now I’m wondering if I was being crazy and selfish. ###### | NTA. AT ALL. you made the right decision, and it was YOUR decision entirely. I'm so sorry you're going through this. you did NOT kill a baby, you saved a life - yours. ###### |
We're not prudes. We've experimented with other couples and stuff like that over the years. We're both 32 and have been together for more than a decade.
Recently, she was furloughed and she just kind of started camming. She didn't ask me about it the first time, she just did it.
When she finally brought it up to me, she asked if I would be okay with it. It wasn't until I hesitantly said yes when she said she had already cammed up for guys.
On one hand, I'm kind of turned on by it. On the other, I'm kind of repelled by the thought of potentially hundreds of thirsty guys on chaturbate masturbating to my wife.
I want to allow her to retain her autonomy, but I'm not comfortable with it. She tells me I'm overreacting, that it's not sexual for her and it's just for money.
And we could certainly use the money.... I just feel... I don't know. She's upstairs as we speak with her legs spread for other guys while I'm... here. Typing this. It doesn't feel good, and she doesn't want to listen. ###### | NTA. At all. That’s definitely something most people would be uncomfortable with their SO doing. Even if it’s not sexual for her, she still has to act like it is. You’re in a relationship, you don’t just do something like that without talking to you SO first. ###### |
I’m an East Asian girl, and he’s white. When we first met, he told me he’d never date someone of my race but he thinks that I’m cool. I thought it’s whatever, he can be attracted to whoever he wants. Eventually, he asked me out and I said yes. We’ve been dating for 5 months now.
Last night, we were hanging out and he jokes that ‘it’s nice to have a submissive woman around’, because I come from a traditional family. I didn’t think it was funny. I told him that he’s being racist and disrespectful. He told me to lighten up and I’m being petty over nothing. ###### | NTA. At all.
Your boyfriend is a massive asshole. He was the first time he said he’d never date “someone of your race” and he’s an even bigger one now.
I rarely say this based on so little information, but dump his ass. ###### |
Trying to make this quick and not put too much into it.
We have a 6yo daughter together. In May on Mother's day, my husband did nothing to have her give me a gift or even say the words to me. I want to say he got me a $1 bag of candy from the store and tossed it at me very nonchalantly like it was another day.
I feel almost as though I should treat him the same. I was hurt by it at the time but didn't want to make a scene about it.
Today being father's day is harder for me. I lost my dad a few years ago. My husband does not talk to either one of his parents. Which is a choice of his that I very much respect (but I would be pretty PO'd if he used that as an excuse to ignore mother's day for the mom of his kid)
I feel a little guilty about ignoring it. Do I go do the same? Get him a candy bar and call it a day? Or have our daughter shower him with some praise? ###### | NTA. At 6 your daughter could draw a card if she wanted and a bar of candy back is still acknowledgement of the day. ###### |
I ( 18F) live with my mother and I recently asked for a key to lock my door because my family members keep barging in, my mom refused even though she clarified she trusts me completely because I live under her roof and she wants access to every part of the house "what if there's a fire and you fall asleep and I wouldn't be able to reach you because the door was locked?" she volunteered as a fire women so this is a legit concern she has.
I worked hard to convince her: I told her my therapist said it was a good idea and she said it doesn't count because my therapist had a boy and she probably gave him a lock because she didn't want to catch him masturbate (which is *not at all* the reason why her *pure* daughter wants a fucking lock) and I got her friend to help me on my crusade. She relented and allowed me to lock the door after 8 pm and here is why I might be TA, I didn't ask when to return the key in the morning because I wanted to have as much time with the lock as I can, I assumed she would just ask me to give it when she feels like it, and in the meanwhile I locked the door even in the morning because it was nice (the first night was heaven, I could hear my younger sister trying to barge in only to fail because the door was locked ) and honestly- because I think my mom is being controlling and ridiculous. So my mom called me and as soon as I unlocked the door she was there demanding the key saying "the experiment was over" because I broke the rules (kept the key and locked the door in the morning), I told her she was just looking for an excuse to take the key and screamed at her that it wasn't fair, so she screamed at me back and told me I'm not allowed to close the door now. I am shaking with rage, I am not a baby ever sense I turned 18 I've been trying to let her know I'm an adult and she treats my repeated "I'm 18" arguments like it's a joke. AITA for purposefully breaking the rules? ###### | NTA. At 18 you should have every right to lock your door. I don’t know what the rest of your home life is like, but I moved out at 18 for similar, albeit less egregious issues. Some parents will always treat you like you’re 5 no matter what. It’s toxic and stifling. Moving out was one of the best decisions I ever made. ###### |
Pretty simple story.
I’ve told my(16M) sister(14F) several times to stop touching my stuff, yet she still does it. I’ve told my parents, yet they do nothing
Today I finally got to play my switch after a couple weeks. I had to study for school and a couple tests
It turns out that my sister has been using my game for weeks. She’s spent over a hundred and fifty hours playing it.
I got really pissed. She was once again using my stuff. So, I just deleted it. When I told her, she got super mad. She said I was being unfair.
I just told her that I did nothing wrong. All I did was use my game on my console. Nothing wrong there, is there? Then, my sister proceeds to tell my parents. I somehow got in trouble.
I feel like my parents are definitely being somewhat sexist or ageist. I’ve complained to them many times, and they do absolutely nothing, but when I handle it myself, they get mad.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA. Assuming that it's your switch and your game, then you have first call to play it. If your parents want your sister to play the game, they can get her a switch and the game, too.
A lot of people in this thread don't seem to understand that there's only one save slot on Animal Crossing: New Horizons. So, in order to play his game, he had to delete her island. ###### |
So, I’m a bit lost. My family is angry at me and my friends are saying I was in the right.
Due to me being an idiot, I now have a second switch. I thought my first Nintendo switch was broken, but turns out the problem was with my tv. So both work fine. I figured I’d sell my first one and put the money towards paying off my credit card or getting a ps5.
My dad, upon hearing this, immediately suggested I give the switch to my brother. Give. For free. He can’t even afford a game for the console, let alone the console itself. Am I also meant to give up my games to him?
My brother made my teenage years hell. He stole from me, threatened me, he is the reason I moved out 5 years ago and never looked back. I admit, I’m bitter. So very bitter. So when my dad suggested I give him the switch, I laughed and hung up.
Now my family are angry I’m not willing to give up a perfectly functional Nintendo switch, that I’m not using, for free. Apparently i’m being selfish. Am I the asshole? I don’t owe him anything, but I’m really biased about this so I could be wrong. ###### | NTA. Assuming both were bought with your own money and owned outright, it's irrelevant what kind of relationship you had with your brother. At minimum, your dad is TA for setting this sort of expectation. ###### |
I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out.
I (55m)have two kids, Ana (30f) and Alex (27m). Their mom isn't in the pictue. I have a relatively high earning job so I was able to save up for both of them to go to college which amounted to about $100k each kid.
The thing is, Ana got a full scholarship for college where both her tuition fees and living expenses were paid for but I had to pay for my son's education and living expenses with the money I saved up.
Both my children knew I had $100k for their college education but since my daughter got a full ride, I told her I'd hold on to it until she either wants to use it for her wedding or a downpayment for a house.
So last week Ana asked for the money to buy a house and I gladly gave it to her but a few days later I got an angry call from Alex accusing me of favoritism and how I'm being unfair. I explained to him that I just gave her the college fund I was saving up for her, which was the same amount as what I've given him for college. He still thinks I should've split the money evenly so it would be more fair. I have no idea how he knew about it but I think my wife (their stepmom) told him.
Ana has since told me that her brother has been calling her every now and then demanding for his half of the money. So both my kids are fighting now.
My wife told me that I'm being a bit unfair and that the money is tearing the family apart. I told her that it was always Ana's money and I already gave Alex his share to pay for his college expenses.
Both kids are college educated with good jobs so it's not like Alex desperately needs the money.
So reddit... AITA? I think that splitting the money would've been very unfair to Ana, who worked hard to get her scholarship but what do you guys think?
Edit: I spent a bit over $100k on Alex's education cause not only did I pay for his tuition fees but I also paid for his rent, bills, food, and everything in between. ###### | NTA. Assuming Alex did in fact get his $100k. ###### |
She came to me the other day and sat me down and said she’d like to stop taking birth control pills. I said ok we can use problems, no condom. She said no she doesn’t wanna use condoms. When I asked why, she said they don’t work 100% of the time (which is fair I guess but no birth control method works 100% of the time); and that the deed doesn’t feel as good. So I said ok what do you suggest. She said she’d like for me to get a vasectomy. Apparently she did her homework and my insurance covers the entire procedure which is fair enough I guess but I’m only 21 and I’m not quite ready to give up my fertility. She said that’s not an issue because vasectomies are reversible. I said not all of the time. She got frustrated and said she’s sick of the burden being on her and I said how can that be so when you used B.C. long before you met me, and I’ve always said if you want to get off it then I’ll support you. She said so support me and get the vasectomy. I said absolutely not, if you want to go and get your tubes tied that’s o.k and I won’t stop you but I’m not ready to sterilize myself yet.
Since that conversation she’ll ask me again and again if I’ve thought about it. At first I said yes and my answer hasn’t changed. But she won’t quit so I just say no or ignore her. It’s so annoying. She won’t entertain IUDs and to be honest her reasoning for being against condoms is kind of suspect. So she asked again just now and I said no please quit asking me. No matter how many times you ask I’m not changing my mind and that’s that. Now she’s really angry at me because she thinkings VaSeCtOmIeS aRe So MuCh EaSiEr and I should suck it up but if I’m being honest the more she badgers me about it, the more convinced I am not to budge. So, AITA? ###### | NTA. Asking your 21 year old BOYFRIEND for a vasectomy when there likely hasn't even been much discussion of marriage, children, the future, and etc. is a ridiculous request. You're still young, so it makes total sense that you wouldn't want to spring into something that could go really wrong. Getting your tubes tied at your girlfriend's request is not supporting her, as she put it, it's *sacrificing*. Honestly, she seems really manipulative. I hope things work out for you. ###### |
So my roommate had the guy shes been seeing over last, and during the night he was sick. They both think it was food poisoning from the sushi they had for dinner, but I and asked her to give the bathroom a wipe down with a lysol wipe anyway; to be clear there wasn't any vomit anywhere, I was more worried about contact points like taps and doorknobs.
She got upset with me because me asking this caused her to worry that it was something more serious and since she works with vulnerable people she called into her work to ask if she should be taking extra precautions because of this, her work said no, that she was probably fine.
But now she is upset with me because we hadn't previously agreed upon a cleaning procedure when someone is sick, and she doesn't think its necessary to expect someone to lysol a bathroom after someone has been sick.
She also works out of the house, while I'm working from home currently, so I could do the cleaning instead, and I did offer to do it once she got upset with me about the time, but shes still upset at me for bringing it up while she was getting ready for work, and the argument and her calling her work took time from that so she was running late, and it's still a new job for her.
I'm sorry I caused her to worry, or potentially be a bit late, but I didn't want to have to wait until she got home from work to ask if the bathroom was cleaned, and I didn't expect the question to turn into an argument that took so long...
I'm going to clean the bathroom today while shes at work, but am I the asshole for thinking cleaning a bathroom after someone has been sick is common, and asking her to do it since it was her friend who was sick? ###### | NTA. Asking her to clean up was totally fair, especially during a pandemic. Plus, even if it was just food poisoning, it’s still a good idea to disinfect *vomit* ###### |
Throwaway as I feel this is so ridiculous and don't want it on my main account.
I recently ordered some new clothes and one of them is a top with a love heart on it. The love heart is coloured in 7 different colours making a rainbow look. I got it because it looked bright and cheerful.
Today I came downstairs wearing it and my husband asked why I'm wearing a rainbow top when I'm not gay. I told him you don't have to be gay to like rainbows but he got annoyed and said he wasn't going out with me in public wearing it as people would think I'm a lesbian. I told him if people think that then I have no problems with it and that I was wearing it whether he liked it or not. In the end he refused to come out shopping with me and has been acting like a toddler who's taken a tantrum since I got home.
He made similar comments when I got a pixie cut 3 years ago which I absolutely loved but I've grown it back since as he said he wasn't attracted to me with it. Apart from that he never makes homophobic comments and seems to have no problems with gay people. ###### | NTA. Ask your husband why his masculinity is tied to your perceived sexual orientation. ###### |
My dad has lived in our neighborhood for 20 years and has become best friends with our neighbor down the street. Me and the neighbor's daughter are both 15. We've been best friends since we were 4. I started crushing on her in middle school but was so nervous about telling her.
I finally told her. I was super super nervous but told her I wanted to talk. I told her I can't keep this a secret anymore and that I think she's amazing, funny, sweet, and beautiful. I told her I had a big crush on her and asked if we could go on a date. She started crying saying she's so happy I finally asked, she was really nervous too, and she's felt the same way for so long. I was happier than I ever have been in my life. We planned a date.
I told my dad and he was pissed. He says I'm being selfish and could hurt his friendship. He says I'm not allowed to date her. My feelings for her are so strong and I love her so I don't see myself being able to respect this rule. ###### | NTA. Ask your dad why you being in relationship with her would hurt HIS friendship.
It doesn't make sense imo. The girl likes you so def NTA. and Y W B T A if you suddenly decided to break things off with her just because your dad is acting weird about it ###### |
He says "we have two incomes so we split the rent two ways and that's how it works" but I don't feel like that's right. I'm paying rent for his wife... They're my friends and I don't want it to become an issue but I'm beginning to feel taken advantage of... I know we aren't supposed to post about interpersonal conflict so I tried to keep it just about the math. Sorry if this is against the rules, but I really need to figure this out. ###### | NTA. Ask for the square footage of the apartment. Split rent any shared space (family room, common area, bathroom and kitchen) by three. Split their bedroom by two? ###### |
The bride and groom have no issue, no dad (who is in church leadership, has no issue. Only my mother, who is the church secretary has an issue with me bringing my service dog, Cain, to the wedding, "because the church has carpeting and leadership won't like it".
She sent me a text saying "What are you going to do with Kain during the wedding? You can't bring him in the church". A long, drawn out phone call (because she kept yelling and I kept hanging up) and finally I called my dad, and asked him to talk to church leadership about bringing him.
She's never been very supportive and has a way of dismissing my diagnoses as "just my depression" or I'm "overreacting". She has also been acting as if Cain is just a very expensive pet, not a medical working dog. He's mobility service dog for my agrresive uncontrolled Rheumatoid Arthritis, Spondyloarthropy, Fibromyalgia and balance issues.
AITA? ###### | NTA. As you say, this is a legitimate service animal and so there is no risk that he does anything to the carpet. ###### |
My wife and I had our second baby two months ago. We were pretty indecisive with a name and nothing really shined for us. Eventually one of the options grew on me and turned into my top choice. My wife also liked it but was concerned because a former coworker/friend had used the name for her daughter about a year prior. The name isn't rare but also not one of the most common. Now, she was fairly close with this coworker when they worked together over two years ago and they remain in contact via Facebook and texting. They have only seen each other once in the last 2+ years since my wife left the job despite only living 15 minutes away from each other and my wife doesn't expect this to change. The coworker recently told my wife that she was very upset we used her baby's name and also the same spelling and she is slowly getting over it. Personally I feel obligated to avoid names of family members or close friends but not coworkers that I don't even hang out with outside work. AWTA? ###### | NTA. As you noted, "former coworker" is several steps removed from the circle of people whose baby names thou shalt not steal. And the odds are she didn't invent this name, she was also inspired by someone else who had it. ###### |
My uncle recently died and when we went to discuss the will he left a majority of his belongings to me. I know what your thinking, why would he leave it to me? He never got married and never had children but, me and him were practically best friends what he did have though was a girlfriend. My uncles girlfriend obviously didn't love him and was using him for money. The two of them had a 30 year age gap and she had given birth to a other man's children (twins) while in a relationship with him. My uncle did love the twins dearly so he left them a trust fund the details about that are unknown. Anyways, my Uncle left me A LARGe sum of money and his girlfriend is angry that I am not giving it to her. Since she was his partner. My Uncle also left his house and the majority of his belongings to ME. Due to his age he updated his will frequently so if he wanted to leave his money to her he would have.
My mother is okay with this because his girlfriend was never respectful to the rest of the family, not even my grandmother.so it's not like she would have lasted long. I understand that the children are innocent so I plan on giving her SOME money, but she wants everything, including the house.
Ok so, would I be the asshole for accepting the money
Sorry if I worded it badly ###### | NTA. As you note, your Uncle had plenty of opportunity to leaveher the money and chose not to - it's extremely telling that he made arrangements for her kids but not her. To me, that makes it clear he had no intention of leaving her anything and instead left it to you.
Accept it and do what you want with it, it's yours. If you want to give some to/for the kids, by all means do so, but don't let her or anyone else pressure you into giving her more. ###### |
I am just wondering if this was wrong for me to say. I’m on letrazol and I have endometriosis, the letrazol forces me to ovulate and is giving me some nasty side effects. To avoid being on it as long as possible, I asked if my partner to avoid masturbating and instead just hold out for our sex every second day. He got angry at me and said that evidence proves that masturbating doesn’t affect fertility. he has extremely low sperm count as it stands so I wanted to have th best chance possible with both of our issues. I said to him that we probably can’t consider these studies credible as we both have fertility issues so our situation is different. He told me that I don’t care about how he feels and that I only care about getting pregnant. I’m usually extremely understanding with him but I don’t understand how I can understand how he feels if there’s nothing that’s affecting him? I’m just confused and really lost, if I’m wrong in this please tell me. ###### | NTA. As you know, they advise against having sex every day because it reduces sperm quality, if he’s jerking it, he’s doing the same thing. If he can’t keep his hands off his dick while you take drugs with horrible side effects, I posit that he’s not as committed to the baby plan as you are. ###### |
So for a little bit of back ground, Me(18F) and my friend (18M) who we’ll call John for the sake of this, dated back in middle school and ever since then we’ve had a rough on and off friendship. He’s asked me out over a dozen times even when he’s had other girlfriends and he still hasn’t taken the hint, he constantly asks for sex from me and I’ve humored the idea once or twice thinking he was joking. But apparently he wasn’t.
He has been dating this girl who we’ll call Jane. They have been off and on and throughout most of their relationship and I was NC with John for about six months due to other issues. But back to the story, yesterday he texted me asking for a handjob or a blowjob because he was bored so I asked him if he was being serious and he said yes, and I asked him if his gf knew about this and he said no. Then I commented that I had more respect for his gf who I’ve never met than he does.
Later that night I decided to say fuck it and used my friends fake account to text her saying that he’s been trying to sleep with me and that it’s been like this for a while. He then texted me frantically begging me not too and that he loves her and he’ll do anything for me to not tell her. Then he started texting my friend begging her not too. I don’t think I’m quite the A-hole here because I was in the same situation and I never would have known that my ex was cheating on me if nobody had told me, aita? ###### | NTA. As the saying goes, play stupid games win stupid prizes. He has maturing to do and his girlfriend deserves to know so she can find someone that values her. ###### |
For context, I’m a 16M and have an iPad Pro, which is quite pricy, and I don’t want to have it broken or scratched up. This is why I prefer to watch him with my tablet if he wants to use it, because I can stop him if he gets too rough. Not only that but I have personal shit on there that I don’t want to be shown to my family. It’s **PASSWORD LOCKED** for a reason!
My parents are almost always great, a little strict but never too overbearing.
What happened was that I was upstairs, playing with friends online, and I come downstairs afterwards and look for my tablet as I wanted to watch videos or just do anything on it.
To my surprise my brother was playing a dinosaur game on it, which was frustrating purely because I had not been asked if it was ok for him to do so. I saved up so much money for the tablet and it’s annoying to have it used without my permission. I ask my parents about it, and say I would have liked for them to ask first and they state:
Mum: “You must share your tablet”
Me: “I’m happy to do that but I would like to be asked beforehand so I can watch him”
Mum: “You’re being ridiculous, we bought it so we choose what to do with it.”
Me: “But thats not fair, it’s my tablet, so I choose of he can play on it”
Mum:”No, it’s to be shared, he will play on it if he wants”
This led to it being confiscated. I’ve already decided to change the password on it so only I can open the tablet.
Am I overreacting? Help me Reddit ###### | NTA. As soon as people give something to someone as a present, it stops being theirs. Doesn’t matter how much money they spent on it. That’s the concept of a gift. It’s yours, you decide what to do with it. ###### |
( On a throw-away account because she has my main account)
So my girlfriend has been talking about moving into her apartment for about a year now. I've thought about it and I don't think it's a good idea because she doesn't have a bathtub
I have a health issue that causes me a lot of pain. Pain that I've discovered can be soothed by hot baths and a medical bubble bath. I of course can also take medicine that helps but the one prescribed for me to take when I'm in pain makes me feel all woozy for the rest of the day, which is not ideal when I have things to do.
I specifically moved into an apartment with a bath that I currently share with a roommate. My roommate recently decided to move when our lease ends, which is making my girlfriend even more insistent about me moving in with her
I've told her my concerns and why, and suggested she move onto my lease if she wants to live together or that we could find a new place with a bath. She refuses and is calling me selfish for not moving in with her just because her apartment 'isnt't nice enough for me'
It's gotten so bad that every time we text or call, she starts arguing about it and I'm afraid this is going to kill the relationship. I don't want the reason that I lose someone to be that she doesn't have a bath tub in her home.
Am I being selfish for refusing to move into her apartment? Am I the A-hole for not just giving in so that I can be with her? ###### | NTA. As someone with a chronic illness/chronic pain, I very much recommend you DO NOT stay with someone who doesn't support even minor accessibilities. ###### |
If things are safe, We will get married in September. We want a small wedding. We only want 25 couples (or 50 people). And because the wedding will be at a hall with an open bar we want everyone to be over 21. We invited my step-sister(shes 16 years older than me ) and her husband, but when we received the invite her plus one was my 23 year old autistic nephew. Not her husband. “Johnny” my nephew has never spoken a word in his entire life. But he does make loud noises, constantly. He can’t sit still and if they want to calm him he plays with a very loud fire truck.
I love Johnny but my wedding is not where I want him. I remember about 8 years ago Johnny was at a wedding and yelled during the moment of silence. When his parents moved him outside you could still hear him
Also Johnny ONLY wears baggy grey sweats. I want my guests to wear certain colors and grey is not one of them
When I explained this to my stepsister she called me a terrible person. My friends support me but my family are refusing to come if Johnny is not invited.
AITAH in this situation? ###### | NTA. As someone whose career has been centered around caring for those with developmental disabilities, I am all for inclusion. That said, dragging a severely autistic individual to an event where they will be uncomfortable and disruptive isn’t fair to them. Your sister sounds as though she’s putting her desire to be seen as a “great mom” ahead of her child’s comfort. ###### |
My(45M) wife (38F) is just home from the hospital after an acute hypertensive crisis (BP 213/145).
Back story: She was hospitalized 4y ago for the same issue and it was brought under control. We had a child 19m ago and during the pregnancy she consciously discontinued her treatment (medication and apnea machine) due to side effects and inconvenience of treatment. Despite repeatedly asking her to see her Dr (we are in Canada, no cost) and asking her to resume treatment she always laughed and blew me off and did nothing.
Fast forward to Thursday. My wife feels dizzy, I demand she take her BP and it’s 195/140. I insist she goes to the hospital as she could have a stroke or a heart attack. She argues and says she will just take her medication. I point out it’s been over a year and she shouldn't guess doses if she’s that much in distress. She relents and goes to hospital. After a night of treatment it eventually gets brought down to a manageable level and she comes home. This morning she asks if I have any “negative feelings towards her about this” and I state that I am angry and upset that she had the tools to prevent this and willfully ignored them and brought this crisis on herself. And further it’s not fair to the kids (we have 2) that she did this either.
She burst into tears is and refusing to talk to me. AITA for calling her out on her behaviour? ###### | NTA. As someone who’s chronically ill, it sucks having to maintain yourself to get to some sense of normalcy - but if you’re a wife and a mother, it goes beyond you at that point. And during a pandemic no less? Not cool. ###### |
My wife has a problem with accountability, and I feel it stems from narcissism. At times, I'll tell her she did something, and she'll gaslight and/or deflect. Or she'll say something, contradict it later, then when I call her out, she'll backpedal or outright deny she said it. So to make sure I wasn't crazy, but also to keep consistency and have proof for either of us, we had a discussion, and as soon as I saw where it was headed, I secretly started recording on my phone. I figured now, there would be proof of everything either of us said, so there shouldn't be an issue.
Wrong. Very wrong. She contradicted herself, so I brought up the video. I played the footage where she contradicted herself, and she blew up. Saying that I was AH for recording our conversation. And saying that I set the entire thing up. But I say it's just more gaslighting. AITA? ###### | NTA. As someone who has lived with a narcissist spouse for 15 years I can totally relate. She is definitely gaslighting you. She knows it but she will not stop. Even you recording and showing her the evidence will not change her mind.
This should sum it up for you.
Narcissist's Prayer
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, it is not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did.
You deserved it.
Run...As fast as possible. ###### |
I have a group of friends from my old college, and we've been doing video calls often. A couple of my friends have a new friend John, and he'll join for zoom. I was nice to him at first but honestly he's been kinda creepy to me, like wanting to get my Snapchat even though I say I haven't used it in years and don't even have it installed. Or go out with me after the quarantine is over, I've said I'm not interested and he just pushes it. So I haven't been too nice anymore, I'll just answer him with "fuck off"
Anyway I know some of the other girls in the group have picked up on the weirdness. I think the guys who first invited John are more oblivious. I had a conversation with two of my girl friends saying I was so done hanging out with John.
On the next call, John was saying, not even to me, but at the group, that he wanted to take me out to some place after quarantine. I just hung up. I called my actual friends on another service and some of them left the original call to pick up, and I said I was done hanging out with John, but if they wanted to hang with me now or later I'd be down.
They stayed on the call and a couple more of my friends joined too, till it was everyone but John and two guys in the new call.
I don't know video call etiquette but I don't see what I did as anything worse than walking out of a party like "I'm out guys, anyone coming with?"
But it's caused an argument in the friend group, the two guys who didn't pick up my call said it was petty and catty of me to split off a new group without John and if I wanted to leave I could have without doing that. Most of my friends are coming with what I did though, they're kind of feeling bothered by the stuff John says.
AITA for leaving the video call and making another without the person who was hitting on me ###### | NTA. As long as you aren’t being two faced, which it seems like you were pretty clear by telling him to fuck off multiple times, I see nothing wrong here ###### |
I live with my girlfriend and her roommate, we’re going to get our own place when her lease is up. We like to shower together, not just for sex, but it’s intimate and fun to do sometimes. We probably shower together twice a week.
Her roommate asked me to stop yesterday because it’s annoying to her. She has her own bathroom with her own shower so I don’t see how it could be annoying. I asked why and she said it’s gross that she knows we’re together like that and it should be confined to the bedroom.
I told her I’d talk to my girlfriend and my girlfriend thinks we shouldn’t stop. Would we be assholes if we continue? ###### | NTA. As long as you aren't having super loud sex and making a ton of noise you aren't doing anything wrong. It'd be a bit different if she had to share a bathroom. Is her room close to your bathroom? ###### |
Since I (17M) was 6 every so often my father and I would go camping, we’d go all the way to Wales and while there we’d go hiking/caving/fishing - whatever really and it’s become a tradition.
Last year my dad married my stepmother Kerrie but she’s been in my life since I was 13.
Kerri has two children who are 9 and 6 and my dad and her are having a kid.
My dad texted me saying that the children wanted to come along with us and that he believes it’ll be a good “bonding experience”
I know if they tag along it’ll be all about them as they’re clumsy and call me selfish I just don’t want them to tag along.
Apparently Kerrie has a whole girls week planned with my sister (14) already.
I texted my dad back saying that I wouldn’t come with because it would just feel like a chore, he’s been texting me begging to reconsider that he wants Kerrie to have a break etc and that he’s already in an awkward position but he told me he’d try and drop the children off with my grandparents.
I told my sister (not my dads daughter) to vent and she thinks I’m an AH for refusing to go and putting my dad in an awkward position according her I should suck it up and accept my new siblings.
AITA? ###### | Nta. As harsh as this will sound to some ..your dad decided to marry this woman and take on her kids. You didn't. Okay so she's been in your life since you were 13, but he's your dad and you need time alone without someone else's kids as a distraction. ###### |
My brother is big into activism, especially about racial identity. He talks a lot about white privilege and stuff like that. Fyi, we are Indians from Kashmir, and I'd say our entire family honestly looks pretty white-- pale skin, colored eyes (which is somewhat common in Kashmir/north India, I think), and hair that's more brown than black.
Anyways, he was writing an essay for the school paper, which for whatever reason publishes even during summer break, and he wanted me to proofread it, as he considers me a better writer than him. He has a line where he says, 'as a person of color, I've often felt judged for my brown skin'. This stood out to me, because *our skin isn't brown.* It's pale af. Like the color of milk. So I told him he should remove it. He asked why, and I told him, 'bro, you basically look white. We \[our family\] all do. Our teachers are shocked when they hear our names, so are our neighbors and everyone we know. Everyone will cringe if you keep this.'
He got defensive and started denying this, then stormed off angrily. I was just proofreading like he asked, and just told the truth to try to help him out-- he looks white af, and to act like he's dark skinned makes me cringe. And I think it'll make other people cringe too. AITA? ###### | NTA. As an East-Asian, this is very weird to me. Like he's marketing himself as a victim overcoming something he actually hasn't. ###### |
Hi everybody,
I live in Germany (so please excuse my grammer and vocab) and here it is forbidden by the law to purchase, use or be in posession of fireworks from the 01.05 to the 28.12 of the year.
Across the street there is an american family living, and on July the 4th they decided to shoot some fireworks. Since it is summer, darkness doesnt fall till around 22:00 (11pm). Around that time my neighborus started shooting of fireworks. I dont mind them having their celebration, but after 45 minutes of ongoing firework (around 1 rocket/minute) i called the police on them. In Germany we have a law which regulates the "Nachtruhe" (Nightrest-time). It states that after 22:00 (10pm) you are not allowed to listen to loud music/tv.
I myself sleep from 10 pm to 6am every day. So i was disturbed in my "Nachtruhe" and woken up by my fellow american neighbours. At first i did not thought anything of it, but since i was unable to sleep and neither did they tell us about them planning to be loud past 22:00 at all. nor did they tell us till when they are going to shoot of fireworks i called the police after 45 minutes (I hoenestly wouldnt care if they were loud for 10 minutes and than got inside, but it is a dick move to make noise for >45 minutes).
I dont know any of them personally/dont have their phonenumber and didnt want to get dressed just to get over to their house to talk to them. Tbh i didnt want to talk to them at all, because it is just an a-hole move to be that loud at that time on a regular german day.
They now have to pay a fine for being too loud and for the illegal posession and usage of fireworks which is around 300€. (By German Standards this is a really really cheap fine, it could have easily been 10.000€).
&#x200B;
So reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. As an American (who has lived in Germany), I think it’s ridiculous that your neighbors would think that’s ok. There are so many other ways to celebrate the 4th of July that don’t involve breaking laws and annoying an entire neighborhood. Good for you for reporting them, hopefully they learned a lesson. ###### |
My dad and I aren't especially close. I was mostly raised by my mom, and I don't really see or talk to him too often. A large part of that was due to his ex-wife/my ex-stepmother. She was an awful, abusive person and she drove a wedge between me and my father. Thankfully, they divorced last year. My father and I were slowly beginning to repair our relationship.
Recently, my father began dating someone new. I'd heard about her from family members, but he never directly told me about her. Let me say now that I have no qualms about my father dating. This isn't that kind of story. Who he dates is strictly his business.
Not too long ago, my father invited me to his house. After the experience I had with my ex-stepmother, I wasn't really keen on meeting his girlfriend yet, so I asked if anyone else would be coming over while I was there. He told me no.
When I got there--surprise! Turns out his girlfriend was *already* there. So, no, technically, no one would be coming over. Now, his girlfriend seemed like a lovely woman. While I was there, I tried my best to act cordially towards her, but I was extremely uncomfortable.
Later, I told my dad that I was happy that he'd found such a nice woman, and that she seemed like a pleasant person. However, I have no intention of meeting her ever again. Who he dates is his business, and I have no relation to her. After my ex-stepmother, I do not want to have any contact with anyone he dates.
He told me that I needed to let go of the past, and that I was being narrow-minded. I admit that this is perhaps a bit unfair to his new girlfriend, but I really don't want to involve myself in his dating affairs. AITA for telling him that I didn't want to meet her again? ###### | NTA. As an adult (I'm assuming you're an adult cuz I don't see mention of your age) you get to decide who you want/don't want in your life. You shouldn't be forced to talk to/ interact with anyone due to "family obligation". ###### |
I (M) have 3 kids with my ex wife. My daughter (17F), who is the second oldest, is turning 18 in November. 18 is a significant milestone, so I think that when your kid turns 18 you should get them a major gift. When my son (21M) turned 18, I got him a motorcycle.
So with all this happening, I thought it would be nice to ask my daughter what she wants now so I have plenty of time for it. She and my younger son are staying with my ex-wife for the time being, so I called her to talk about it. She said that she wants full body laser hair removal. She told me the estimated price and it was less than what I paid for my son's motorcycle a few years ago so I agreed and said I would cover it.
Later that night I get an angry call from my ex-wife. She overheard everything and didn't like it. She was saying that I shouldn't be encouraging my daughter to be "vain" or "narcissistic" and that she thought cosmetic surgery was a scam that "preys on women's insecurities". I responded that our daughter will be an adult at this point and that even then, she was being unreasonable. I explained that even if she didn't personally like it, it would make our daughter happy and that's what matters here. She wasn't swayed and said that I was being inconsiderate to her by going ahead with it.
To be honest, I'm not entirely surprised she reacted like that. My daughter has always been very girly and put a lot of effort into her appearance. My ex-wife has always bot liked this and would try and encourage her to focus less on how she looks. Personally I've never had an issue with her and I just want her to do what makes her feel good, just like my sons with their different interests.
I've already put the money aside for it and I've called my daughter again promising I'll cover it despite her mom's objections, so I'm not changing my mind. But I'm interested in getting some outside perspective. ###### | NTA. As a woman, if I could afford laser hair removal I would 100% do it. Shaving constantly is the worst, and it can cause irritation of the skin. If that’s what she wants, who care what your ex thinks? It’s not like you’re suggesting it to your daughter. ###### |
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