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Well... My ex and I divorced and I moved away with my two oldest kids and our youngest. We split up because he is a workaholic and doesn’t want to engage in any kind of family activity.
I had a cat when we met and he lied about being allergic, so I had to give up the cat when we moved in together.
Now that we moved away, I got a kitten and we all love it so much, but, my ex refuses to visit his daughter here bc of the cat. He refuses to take any allergy meds, just because?? We can come visit him, but he only has time late in the evening once in a while because of his work. Before we got the cat, he came once a month aprox.
AITA for getting the cat? Just be honest. I knew he was allergic, but I thought he would be open to take allergy meds. Now he wants me to get rid of the cat or he won’t see his daugther anymore. ###### | NTA. If a cat keeps this man from seeing his daughter, he was looking for an excuse to stop seeing her anyway. ###### |
My close friend and I are dating 2 girls that are also close friends.
When it comes to relationships, my friend is a psycho. He made her delete every guy off of her Snapchat, he has her location and her instagram log in and her Snapchat log in. He has 0 trust for her, cusses her out all the time, she can’t do anything without asking his approval first not even going out with her parents, he doesn’t even let her wear shorts outside. She has to filter everything she says because he takes everything the wrong way and cusses her out. She’s been very patient for the past 6 months they were dating, but the entire 6 months they fought a lot every single day.
Of course, I knew about everything because my girl would tell me and my friend would tell me. I’m also friends with my girls close friend too and I care about her.
Basically, her life is hell and she has to censor everything she says and has anxiety 99% of the time because he cusses her out if she doesn’t answer his call right away or doesn’t respond to his text within 2 minutes.
I felt really bad so I had a talk with her and my girl (they came to me for advice I didn’t insert myself) and basically I told her that he’s not going to change and if she can’t handle this for the next 6 months and the 6 months after that, then she should break up with him. And that same night after talking to me, she did break up with him. I feel like shot but I’m happy for her because that relationship was ruining this girl and my friend too he would get really crazy. I just feel bad for helping cause him pain. AITA for breaking bro code? ###### | NTA. If “bro code” means enabling abusive behavior, then break it. Your friend is a nightmare, and was clearly treating his gf badly. It isn’t on you or anyone he dates to change him, but at least you encouraged and supported her leaving a bad relationship. That’s a good thing. ###### |
I'm a divorced dad of three kids, (12f, 7f, 4m). My girlfriend and I are both essential workers, and come into contact with a large number of sick people on a daily basis. One of my children had a lung transplant several years ago, and is immunocompromised. As such, we decided that right now it would be safer for them to stay with their mother.
I make significantly more than my ex, so I bought a tablet for each of my kids, and they each have Disney+, Netflix, and Hulu. My 12 year old also has a cell phone, which she mostly used for school. They also use their tablets to FaceTime me every once in a while.
I was talking with my 12 year old yesterday, and she mentioned that she would like to be able to use her tablet. Of course I was confused, and I asked her what she meant by that.
Apparently her mother has been taking her tablet away from her and using it for herself. I checked my daughter's account's Netflix history, and I saw shows that she definitely wouldn't watch (i.e. House of Cards, Blacklist, The Witcher).
I called her, and asked her to give my daughter's tablet back. She said no, and that my daughter lost her tablet as a punishment for not doing her chores on time. I told her that was fine, but she shouldn't be using it.
She then said that I'm just trying to show off my wealth by giving the kids tablets and streaming services, and that my daughter already has a cell phone so she doesn't need a tablet.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA. Id put a password on it for just you and your daughter (maybe along with parental controls so you know she couldn’t get into trouble). That way ex can’t manipulate the situation and take things from her to be selfish. It’s not hers it’s your daughters and she’s not entitled to it as she doesn’t pay for it or the services. ###### |
My daughter and I are not close anymore and I've been 'cut off' for the past year due to my opinions on her having a second child at 19 when both her and her fiance are still studying and don't have jobs. It was a hardly necessary and drastic decision on her end but it's what she wishes so I backed off and since we haven't spoken.
Last week Wednesday, my sons arrived in town to visit my wife and I. During one of our conversations, the eldest mentioned that they were thinking of driving over to my daughter's apartment for her birthday on Sunday and asked if I wanted to come along. I reminded them that I was still cut off so I doubt she wants me over. They said it was ridiculous that she was still doing this so they won't go anymore till she realizes that. I told them they didn't have to do that solely for me but they still stuck to it. Sunday came and went and the three of them still hadn't changed their minds and didn't visit or call her. My wife was the only one who called and also informed my daughter on why they didn't call when she asked. My wife says she went quiet and didn't talk much for the rest of the call.
This morning I woke up to messages from her fiance telling me how much of an asshole for turning my son's against her. ###### | NTA. I’ve read your comments, and you should probably edit them in your post, cause as it is, it looks kinda sketchy. But you clarified in your comments and I think you’re not the asshole. Keep in mind a lot of people in this sub lose their shit over the subject of estranged parents, since most of the time the children left because the parents were assholes (also a lot of people here are young and tend to sympathise with teens more). So the vagueness of your post sets off alarm bells. Keep that in mind. ###### |
My daughter is 16 and recently has watched several documentaries, read a few books, medical journals and has come to the conclusion that she wants to become a vegetarian. My husband and I support this, however the rest of us are not vegetarians. We don’t make carnivorous meals every night, but I would say at least 5 out of 7 days a week. I always have what would be a vegetarian side dish, but I am also not a short order cook. I said she can come grocery shopping with me, I’ll buy the food, cook books, etc, and on nights we’re eating meat, she can cook her own food.
This upset my daughter. She says her siblings don’t have to cook their own dinner, why should she? I said because they’re eating what I’m making in the first place. She said that this was “favoritism” but agreed. My husband thinks I should cook for her, but he doesn’t cook the meals in this house, I do.
Am I being unfair here? ###### | NTA. I’m vegan and was vegan as a teenager, my parents made dinner every night which included vegetables and sides, and I would either eat just those sides or I would cook something additional for myself. The plus side of this, I’m an excellent cook now. You offered to pay for the groceries and cook books which seems very fair and besides, cooking is a skill all teens should learn. Maybe you could try and make something fun out of it like “on Thursday nights we both cook an all vegetarian meal for the entire family together” so that way you can teach her some fun recipes you enjoy and then she doesn’t feel like the only person not being included, plus there’s a special day she gets to design the menu for everyone. ###### |
She snapped me late last night. My "friend." She asked if I would get a letter notarized for her. I thought it was a strange request, because I live in Colorado and in this state the signature must match the ID presented.
I asked her to elaborate on the letter. She said the letter said I am the landlord and her boyfriend lives on my property.
First of all, I'm not a landlord and her boyfriend doesn't live on my property because I don't own property.
Backstory: she lives in public housing and the housing authority found out that her boyfriend lives with her. To prevent eviction, she had to submit letter today that stated her boyfriend lives elsewhere.
She basically asked me to perjure myself. I said no.
But if she was a true friend, she would never have asked me this. Am I right?
I'm angry with her. I don't feel sorry for her. And I do hope she gets evicted.
And I feel like the asshole! ###### | NTA. I’m sure you’re familiar with the phrase “play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” Your friend is about ready to win her prize, don’t let her drag you down with her. ###### |
Right now my fiance and I are living with my best friend from high school and her husband. They and my fiance have some life differences (no details but nothing major, mainly they're all bullheaded and won't listen to each other). My fiance wants to move out and get on our own. I'm all for it until he said the place he wants to move to won't allow pets and we have a 55 pound border collie mix we picked up as a stray. I refuse to move anywhere without her. She is my kid. I can't abandon her. She has no say in this at all. Everyone I've talked to is 50/50 on this.
We are under no pressure but my fiance own want to get our own place quickly. He's lived on his own before and I have not. I just can't intentionally move someplace and give up my dog if there are other options. ###### | NTA. I’m sure you guys can find a place that is pet friendly. And honestly he’s the A for wanting you to leave your doggo. ###### |
This has been bothering me for a while now,
But in short one of my subordinates who is also a good buddy of mine, told me about his intentions of turning his “lifelong dream” into reality, which is basically getting his wife pregnant by another man and raise it as his -he isn’t infertile or anything-, I was horrified when I heard this,and I explained how horrible of an idea this was and that children aren’t means of sexual satisfaction for him and his wife.
And another hour of back and forth talking and arguing and this wasn’t his “lifelong dream” anymore but something he is hesitant about, I was happy with the result, and few days later asked him why his wife thought this was an acceptable thing he said something which mortified me even more apparently his “genetics were inferior” and didn’t deserve to be passed to another generation, at this point I had enough and invited him to my house and told him we should discuss this excessively and he agreed right away, at the end of our meeting he was convinced that this was indeed a terrible thought and I suggested divorcing his wife and he was so supportive of that.
He is filing for divorce but it has been delayed due to the pandemic, his wife knew I had a big part in their separation and she has been texting me rude messages every 2-3 days for months now.
Most people are telling me I helped my friend dodge a bullet but some people are also telling me this wasn’t my business and I shouldn’t have opened my mouth.
So I’m not sure ###### | NTA. I’m sure that a lot more went into him wanting to divorce his wife than just you and your commentary. Ultimately, it’s their relationship and they are responsible.
I did not know what “cuckold impregnation” was, googled the term, and wish I hadn’t. So kind of an asshole for making that your title.:P
I would imagine that there would be a plethora of legal issues that could arise out of this, let alone be a ridiculous arrangement for the child. But anyways, NTA. ###### |
My bf and I have been together for about 6 years and we've had issues with his mom and stepdad( his stepdad hasn't done anything particularly harsh he's just there ). I for the first 4 years assumed she hated me. I would be invited to things only to be never picked up by my bf or his mom would do weird stuff like try to set him up with her friend's kids. Bf always told me she didn't hate me and that I was just exaggerating. I had even tried to ask her about her behavior toward the beginning of the relationship and she told me she'd get my bf to break up with me ( we were still in high school at the time).
Eventually it came out that no she didn't hate me but she thought I was an entitled bitch because I was at family events when I wasn't wanted. It came out that my bf never really asked if I was welcome and just would say he was going to bring me. She assumed that I was controlling him and that was her reasoning to act the way she did. Since then I have made myself scarce and don't show up to her events but I show up to his dad and stepmom's gatherings instead. When bf came clean to his parents I told him to ask his mom or stepdad to contact me if they would like me there. This is the general conflict my bf and I have had for the past year and some change. bf has not told them what I asked.
bf told me that I should trust in him telling me when I'm invited and he's been telling his parents that an accident I was in was the reason why I wasn't coming over. it is partially true. His brother spilled the beans that I've been visiting his dad and stepmom and his mom has been upset over this. I told bf that I want it to be clear that i'm wanted or not. He says that it would ruin his reputation with his family and he doesn't want that.
AITA for asking him to ask his parents to message me themselves when they want me around? ###### | NTA. I’m sorry to tell you this, but your boyfriend sounds like a liar with no backbone. He’s lying to his parents about the real reason you won’t come over because he doesn’t want his mommy to be mad at him for not ever asking to bring you places. He’s also being a huge dick in letting his mother treat you that way for so long. There is nothing wrong with the limitation you set for him, especially given your past. Also, it’s be good to remind your boyfriend that you HAVE trusted him in the past that the invitation came from his family, and it hasn’t worked out very well for you, so you are under no obligation to believe him when it comes to this situation.
edit-second wind. ###### |
I was babysitting my niece (sister's kid) and she asked me "why does mommy kiss the grass cutting guy?"
I asked my sister what her daughter was talking about and she said "oh that's my boyfriend. He's our gardener". I mentioned that she was married. And my sister just said "well, yeah but (husband's name) knows about us. He's cool with it. We have an open relationship".
Idk maybe it was because of the way she said it but she didn't sound very convincing so I asked my Brother-in-law if they had an open relationship. He had know idea what I was talking about so I told him about the gardener. Anyway now he wants a divorce.
My sister keeps texting me calling me a slut and saying that I'm not a very loyal sister. AITA for this? ###### | NTA. I’m pretty sure what she said to you applies to her ###### |
I like Dominos pizza and order it once a month. I know it’s a bit expensive, I know it isn’t very authentic, I know it isn’t healthy. I also don’t care; for me it hits the spot and I enjoy it.
My housemate and good friend’s Italian girlfriend, every time I get dominos, has to mention how it isn’t actually good pizza or very Italian. Every. Single. Time. It also extends to when I make Italian food like pasta or spaghetti (we take turns to cook for the whole house), mentioning i didn’t add this ingredient or use this process. I’ve asked her a couple times to show me what I’m doing wrong but stuff always seems to ‘come up’
Now, she’s otherwise a pretty solid person but I just find this behaviour incredibly rude. I ordered pizza again today and she again commented about how it wasn’t authentic. I had enough and told her I didn’t give a fuck what was authentic or not, I just wanted to enjoy my Dominos.
She told me as an Italian she had to say something when she saw bad Italian food like the pizza or my pasta. I told her that if I as the son of Indians could eat what she alleged to be a chicken korma (it was *sweet* for some reason) and say nothing at the time she could eat my pasta and stay silent.
I’m aware that was perhaps a bit petty and rude, but to be honest I’m pretty done with her inane comments. My roommate is annoyed at the both of us saying that we need to make up, but honestly I’m still pretty annoyed with her. As I see it the only harm I’m doing with my dominos is to my waistline, but that has no bearing on her. ###### | NTA. I’m Mexican and I like Taco Bell. I’m not getting it because it’s authentic Mexican food. I get it cuz it’s crappy Americanized food that tastes good. You like what you like. At no point did you say “I’m gonna get this super authentic Italian food” and show up with dominos. Your roommates are being righteous jerks. ###### |
My husband and I are expecting our first child - a boy - in a couple of months. My husband and his parents are all math geniuses and wanted his name to include some math reference. I thought it was a cute and funny idea. Recently, my husband thought of a name. I thought of names too. I like Dylan, Jared and Loren. My husband was like "um, yeah. I was thinking Cube." Like a Rubik Cube. I thought he was joking but he was serious. I told him that was the stupidest name ever. He told me to think of it as "Cute." I told him I'd rather name him Sweater before Cube. ###### | NTA. I’m confused as to why out of Rubik’s cube, he chose the word that wasn’t a name lmao. ###### |
My boyfriend is Indian and I am white. When we started dating, he would call me a cutie pie. A couple of months into dating, he started calling me a cootie pie. The first time he called me cootie pie, I got angry because I thought he was trying to do an accent to make fun of how other indians may pronounce cutie. He explained that I misunderstood and that in Hindi, cootie meant beautiful. We've been together for 3 years and he's been calling me cootie pie at least once per day.
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On Friday, a new girl started at work. She introduced herself to the staff. She was born in India but came her for university and stayed here. I told her I am dating an Indian man myself. She asked if I knew any hindi and I told her I know a few of words, like cootie and billi. She told me it's inappropriate to say "cootie" at work and that I should be more respectful. I explained my boyfriend's nickname for me is "cootie pie" and that it means "beautiful". She told me "cootie" means "B\*itch". I apologized and said I may be pronouncing it wrong to save face.
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When I got home, I confronted my husband and he laughed. He said he thought it was funny to call me a "cootie". I snapped and yelled at him for being so immature. I asked him to sleep on the couch and he has been for the last two nights. He hasn't apologized yet and is pretending everything is normal. So reddit, am I the asshole for getting mad? ###### | NTA. I’m an Indian , and ‘kutti’ is actually a pretty bad insult . He shouldn’t be calling you that at all. ###### |
This incident happened some time ago.
We’re both in university. This semester she went on exchange to Australia. She left Canada Feb 2nd, but went to her hometown on Dec 22nd after final exams because she wanted to spend that time with her family until she left. For that reason we did our Christmas gift exchange early. I got her a really nice necklace in Morse code, a designer hoodie, and a pair of Beats headphones. I ordered the beats Dec 6th but the shipping was delayed big time (I think there was a postal strike? can’t remember) and so I didn’t get the headphones in time for her to have it. When I told her that, she asked what color the headphones are and I got them in blue because that’s her favourite color. She seemed a bit disappointed and and when I asked her what’s wrong she said she’d have preferred the grey.
Fast forward a few weeks. The headphones finally came in around Jan 20th and I went to Best Buy to return them. I did this because **I found the exact same pair on Amazon, brand new, in the color she wanted, and a much cheaper price**. Plus I have Amazon prime so I had 2 day shipping. I pulled the trigger and ordered it right to her house on Jan 21st.
When I told her about this she was pissed off at me because i Didn’t disclose that I was doing all that. She was also afraid that the Beats wouldn’t come in before she left on Feb 2nd. For the life of me I still can’t understand why she was mad. I mean yeah I suppose I didn’t tell her, but I got what she wanted, for a better price. I should also note that the headphones were delivered way before she left so that wasn’t an issue but she said she still didn’t appreciate it. Was I the asshole here? I thought I was being thoughtful and now I feel a bit unappreciated. ###### | NTA. I’m also confused why she’d be mad. ###### |
I live in an apartment that I moved into in September 2019. Since arriving, I have had probably close to 20 packages show up at my door addressed to someone I've never met. Let's say the name is Autumn. The packages all have my address and Autumn's name. Since they're not addressed to me, I just leave them outside and eventually they've all been picked up. I've never seen anyone pick them up, but they're always gone in 2-3 days.
At first I thought it must be the previous tenant who forgot to forward their mail, but I've never gotten a piece of mail addressed to Autumn. I do get mail addressed to previous tenants occasionally, but never a single piece addressed to her. I even mentioned this to my building manager, and she said she's never heard of Autumn. It's possible that she lived at this address with someone else and was just never on the lease, but still, she's never lived here.
My guess is that she has her packages sent here because we have a gate with a code, as opposed to other apartment buildings in my city which are open to the street. Almost all the packages have been marked on the outside as expensive cosmetics brands. I get that she doesn't want her stuff stolen, but it kind of pisses me off that a stranger is using my address as a free PO box. Like, if she can afford to order expensive makeup 2-4 times a month surely she has a little extra cash for a PO box, right?
On top of it all, this means that a stranger who has never officially lived in my building is still using our gate code to gain access to the building frequently. Which is in itself kind of skeevy, right?
I've considered leaving a short "please stop having your packages sent here" note, but haven't acted yet. ###### | NTA. I’d start bringing them into my house and writing return to sender on them and putting them back through the mail. After a few of her expensive packages got returned she would probably learn her lesson. Or you’d have the benefit of speaking to her face-to-face about it. ###### |
Long story short, I recently won a considerable amount of money from a $20 scratch ticket. As I don’t want to give away my identity, I won’t say how much but its enough for my girlfriend and I to quit our jobs and pay down all our debts which includes a hefty mortgage.
Initially i wanted to keep this a secret since i know how winning a large sum of money can potentially ruin families and relationships through greed and jealousy.. but after speaking with my girlfriend, she convinced me to tell my parents since they were old and have always struggled with money. Not because they don’t earn enough (they own a thriving pizza business, well not so much with COVID recently) but because they have crazy spending habits.
So yesterday, i called them and i told them that i had won a large amount of money and could pay for all their future expenses and even pay for them to travel which they love doing.
In that call, I made it clear to them to not tell anyone. Not even family. I didn’t plan to live lavishly so i thought i could keep it a secret.
Well, long story short, they told my entire extended family which includes my two brothers brothers, one sister, and 6 nieces and nephews. Everyone wants a piece of my money now. Somehow word even got around to one of my old high school friends and he asked me if i could loan him some cash to pay rent and that he’d “hit me up next month fo sho”.
I called my parents and i blew up at them. I told them i wouldn’t be paying for any of their expenses and they could say goodbye to any vacation plans. In my view, if i buy them something, everyone will expect that of me and so the only solution is to not buy anything for anyone.
Everyone says i’m a greedy asshole. ###### | NTA. I’d get a financial advisor and a lawyer on standby stat. You just never know how petty and entitled a person really is. I’d update your wills too now that you’re seeing the true colors of your family. ###### |
Okay so, this might be a little weird so I’ll try and explain it.
Basically, out of all of my family I am the only one who has thick curly hair.
I mother swears up and down that she never cheated on my dad (although I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t believe it)
And because of my curly hair, I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve had people come squealing up to me going “OMG YOUR HAAAAAIR” and the proceeding to literally fist my hair and pull on my curls just to watch them bounce back up
It’s really fucking irritating. There is no need for a grown ass woman to come up to me and start feeling up my hair with no warning. It’s a little more understanding when a child does, but not a grown fucking adult.
The amount of times I’ve had to tell people to keep their hands to themselves is astonishing.
So I’m hatching a plan that the next time someone touches my hair, I’m gonna touch them right back. An eye for an eye.
If they think it’s okay to touch me without permission, then I’m just gonna assume I can do the same.
My mother says it’s not worth it and quite frankly childish. It may very well be true, but this is my personal space god dammit.
Luckily it isn’t that much of an issue as of right now, but I know damn well it’s gonna start back up again once everything has calmed down. ###### | NTA. I've seen many a pregnant woman say they've done the same thing, since for whatever reason pregnant bellies get treated as public property that other people feel like they have license to touch. Yet you put *your* hand right back on their middle-age gut pudge and they act *shocked* that you'd cross a personal boundary like that! Yeah, exactly, *that's the point,* so keep your hands to yourself! ###### |
Okay hear me out please, my birthday is in 10 days and this has been stressing me out. His sister has autism and she gets really loud breakdowns which results in everyone feeling bad for her. My boyfriend said “oh it will be so fun, Carrie will be there and she will love Strawberry cake”. I didn’t invite her? What?? We went over who is coming? I told him that I don’t feel comfortable with her because, to put it to truth, SHE RUINS THE VIBE. It’s not the fact she has autism, it’s the fact she can not control herself in this sort of environment. Best tjing I can do is send her the cake slice. My boyfriend is making me feel like I’m bigoted and judgemental when in reality, it is a lose lose. He’s now telling my mom that I don’t wanna invite his sister because she’s autistic and my mom had to give me a speech about different kinds of people. Am I bad for not wanting to invite her? ###### | NTA. I've never in my life invited a boyfriend's sister to a birthday party with friends. He should not have assumed she was invited. No one is entitled to a party invitation.
I think if you hadn't said she's autistic and just said your bf assumed that his sister was invited, but you didn't invite her because you don't get along, you wouldn't be getting y t a judgements. ###### |
I have a huge family. I’m 13 my brothers 15.
For my birthday I got a can of spaghetti that’s worth a dollar (that my brother ate, and gave to me ), old pens which my brother also gave to me, and a 15 dollar gift card from my mom and dad. I didn’t get any cards or anything from my family no one messaged me happy birthday. My brother got a bayonet, a pocket knife, a wot shirt, a ring with “god protect my soul” engraved on it, two collectors coins from russia, one from 1952 one from 1981, and a new phone all from my parents, along with 40 dollar headphones from me . He got a birthday card from my dads stepmom who hated my dad but loves my brother, and practically got “happy birthday“s thrown at him. With all the stuff he got he was still sad, I told him to cheer up at least he didn’t get dollar store stuff, he enjoyed my joke but My parents said I was messing up his birthday for bringing it up.
AITA for feeling bad about getting cheap presents like pens and a dollar can of spaghetti for my birthday While my brother got really expensive stuff? ###### | NTA. I'm the oldest sibling and the clear favorite in my family and have been given lavish gifts on my birthday as well as on my siblings special days. It caused a huge issue between me and my siblings, 1 that I didn't recognize until the damage was done. While one of my brothers and I are making up for it now as adults, I don't talk to my other siblings at all.
You are justified in your feelings, and it is really terrible when parents blatantly have favorites because of the damage it can do between siblings. I don't have any advice for you, but I hope you know it's not your brother's fault. I hope this was a fluke and not something that happens to you every year. Also happy belated birthday 🖤 ###### |
This has been going on for a while but I think the tipping point happened a couple days ago. She had asked me (22m) if I was circumcised, to which I told her I was not; she proceeded to say things like gross and we’re getting you circumcised in a joking manner...etc.
In that particular situation I could more or less tell se was being serious. And just today she was saying she thinks 7 inches is right right size and anything less would be small,-but here’s the kicker:
She is a virgin and has never stuck a finger in her vagina, whereas I’ve told her I’ve been with plenty of girls that have never commented on my size or uncircumcised penis. (Quite frankly it kinda hurt when she said it would be gross because I take pride in good hygiene downtown)
Initially it was funny and cute but Ive been thinking this is coming from someone who has never even had sex but she has this imaginary expectation of porn penis.
Anyway, would I be the butthurt asshole to confront her and tell her to get more mature? ###### | NTA. I'm sure she wouldn't like it if you start saying what the "perfect" boobs and vag should look like, even if hers was the opposite. Confront her, her opinions are ignorant and hurtful. ###### |
My mom just unexpectedly died from cancer. This has been the most difficult experience of my life, and I really needed my boyfriend to fly home. I voiced that I would pay for his ticket, but he replied that he thought it would be better if I flew to his place on our already planned trip in a week. I have three kids who are devastated and this is really not possible anymore. He also has a flight here for June 6th but didn’t reschedule.
At first, the issue was he needed to be home to rent the open rooms in his house. But that has been mostly resolved and he’s shown no urgency. He has been there for me communicatively but I really just need to be held and cry.
I wanted (needed) him here, and kindly voiced how it would mean a lot to me. However, I am at a point in my life where I won’t beg, nor try to change anyone. If he wanted to be here, he would, right? This is causing me to seriously second guess if we are on the same page. AITA?
He also has traveled home during the pandemic, so respectfully that argument is null.
Edit: Asking for opinions because obviously I want to bring this up, and am considering taking space or ending it if I am not the asshole, and he tries to make me feel like one. ###### | NTA. I'm sorry that your mom died. When my grandpa died, my husband was on a boys weekend away. He had hitched a ride with another guy so he couldn't just leave. I told him I'd be fine. Just after midnight I got the call that he had finally passed. Suddenly, the door opened and my husband was there. His friend gladly drove him home in the middle of the night from their camping spot a couple hours away. If he wants to be there, he'd be there. You need to decide if what he's doing is enough for you. ###### |
Me [19M] and my sister [19F] had some big problems a year ago. She started acting really creepy towards me. She walked in on me while I was showering a couple of times. Then one morning I woke up to her naked in my bed, spooning and humping me, while her hand was on my penis. Our parents refused to believe me for a while until she admitted to it. She got therapy and cut out the behavior. It was obviously very uncomfortable and traumatic for me. I had tried to move on from it as my sister was acting better.
Anyway recently I caught my sister on my phone. After I got it back, I used my computer to see that she had sent and deleted pictures to herself from my phone. The pictures were nudes of myself. I was so shocked and upset that she would do something like that again after everything.
I wanted to delete the pictures off her phone but she has a password. So I called her girlfriend (they have been together for 6 months) and asked if she knew. I broke down and explained everything. She was shocked obviously. I deleted the pictures. Her gf is the only person to believe me and truly support me about it actually.
Anyway her gf broke up with her citing what I told her. My parents are furious at me for sharing this personal information with someone outside the family saying it could ruin my sister. They say I could destroy all the progress she has made. ###### | NTA. I'm so, so sorry this is happening to you. What your sister is doing is sexual abuse. Unfortunately, in cases of sexual abuse within families, it is extremely common for family members to be in denial or to blame the victim. Are you in a position to move out? Until you get some distance it seems likely you will continue to be put in this position. ###### |
I am a pretty good artist and my classmates know it. They have no problem paying for my art except for one girl. She is the teachers' pet and the one that always reminds everyone of their mistakes. One day, she came to me asking if I could draw a horse for her. I told her that it'll be 2 KČ, which is the price of two croissants in the Czech Republic. (It's about 0,085 USD) And she said that it's too expensive and that we are friends (we are not) and that I drew free drawings for my friend and that it can't be THAT hard to draw. I told her if it's not that hard, she can draw it herself and that I drew it free for my friend because her dog died. She screamed at me calling me many names. AITA for wanting the price of two croissants for hours of hard work? ###### | NTA. I'm proud of you though my friend. Keep doing what you love. ###### |
I'm 31 weeks pregnant. I'm going to break up with my baby's father by Monday because he's emotionally abusive and made me feel threatened when I told him I needed space from him. He was saying things like "you can't keep my baby from me" (as if I have lost bodily autonomy or something) and "promise me you're coming over tomorrow or I'm showing up at your house tonight. You can call the cops if you want but that will unleash a hell you don't want to deal with." I don't love him and that conversation only made me more sure that I want to break up with him.
As of right now hospitals have restrictions on how many people can be in the delivery room. My doula counts as my one person, so I have no problem choosing her over anyone. But if restrictions are loosened by June, I would want my mom there as well. I feel like the father would be an added source of stress instead of comfort. However, I do understand that he wants to be there for the birth of his child. WIBTA if I did not allow him to be there? ###### | NTA. I'm pretty sure as the birth giver you have the right to deny anyone from being in the delivery room, but I strongly suggest you call an attorney and start collecting proof about his behavior if you want to nip this in the bud for good. ###### |
Hello. I'm a 42M. I don't want to include too many details because it will be easy to find me. I saw another fashion designer post here, so I wanted to post my own problem.
I recently created my own fashion brand (sole proprietorship). My niche is incorporating 17th-19th century fashion trends in my designs. It's not a big brand or anything and it's still in the fledgling stages.
I have a small team working for me. As of now, my clothing is only available in small, medium, and large sizes (0-10 dress US; 36-40 Europe). My wife (31F) recently confronted me about the lack of larger sizes. She says size-inclusivity is considered very important in the modern fashion world. She and my three daughters are all plus size.
I don't want to introduce those sizes for a few reasons. First, it is more expensive to create plus size garments because of the amount of fabric and customers may be angry if the price is higher for the same garment. Second, I'm not an expert in what looks good on plus size women and I believe other brands can do it better. Plus size women come in all different shapes and what look good on one plus sized woman can look atrocious on another. Third, my team doesn't have that much experience with creating plus sized clothing.
My brand is "upscale," but this is NOT the reason why I don't cater to plus sizes.
AITA for excluding plus sizes from my line? ###### | NTA. I'm plus size myself, and yes, it's disappointing to find something I like that isn't in my size, but you're right. It's more expensive and takes a more experienced tailor. Maybe it's something you can do in the future, but that doesn't make you a bad person or business owner. ###### |
I (20F) live with my parents and older brother. I’ll be honest - I do not like him. We do not get along. He’s annoying and intruding and loud and I could go on. I try to just ignore him.
For April fools day yesterday, as a “joke,” he decided to hide the pain medication I take to deal with my periods. I have horrible periods, especially the first couple days (which yesterday was) and the pain can be debilitating and make me cry if I don’t have the pain meds to help (even then, I still have pain, I’m just able to function).
I basically couldn’t find them all day yesterday then this morning he gave them to me and said “April Fools!!” His prank was hiding this on me since I “relied on them so heavily and need to see I don’t need pain meds to get through the day.” He said that’s what I get for keeping the meds in the kitchen (which I do because they need to be taken with food and/or water)
I was fucking pissed. He saw me crying and wincing in pain and hid them from me? I told him to fuck off and that this would be the last conversation we’d have for a while. I’m ignoring him but he keeps texting me like “come on really?” And giving ME dirty looks in the hallway like I’m the one who did something wrong.
My parents are staying out of it as we’re both adults. They say f how I want to deal with is by ignoring him then it is what it is.
AITA? I don’t think this was a joke. I think this is over the line. ###### | NTA. I'm not sure why he thought watching someone be in pain all day would be funny, but it's not. He crossed a line. ###### |
I (22, F) currently work as an EMT, and as part of my certification, I learned to deliver babies. On occasion, we will get calls to pick up someone whos in labor. I've gotten these calls about 3x and each time we have just transported the patient to the hospital and they have given birth there.
My sister (26, F) who is 8.5 months pregnant recently asked if I could deliver her baby at her home since I was certified. She wants to do it at home since the hospital in our area (Chicago) won't let family visit, and she wants us to be there since this is her first child. Also, her gynecologist is sick and wouldn't be there to deliver her child, so she's also nervous about having a doctor, she doesn't know.
I told her I would get back to her, but my sister and my mom keep texting me about it. Idk what to do, I'm really nervous about doing it since I have never delivered a baby before. She said the baby was perfectly healthy which is good and it obviously won't be premature but I'm still on the fence. ###### | NTA. I'm not familiar with your training, but it seems like you're trained to do it in an emergency scenario, not as a first option. It's a lot of responsibility, and if anything were to go wrong... ###### |
My wife has been asking me to get things for her upstairs multiple times a day for the past several months. This morning she asked me to get something from our room (she was not busy and could have done it herself) and I asked why she never got things herself but was always asking me to do it. I asked her if she was "allergic to stairs," which I thought was kind of funny but she thought was pretty rude. FWIW my 7 year old thought it was hilarious.
AITA? ###### | NTA. I'm not 7 and I find it hilarious! ###### |
My boyfriend and I have lived together for over a year and we had birth control failure (broken condom) that resulted in me getting pregnant just a few months into the relationship.
The entire time I was pregnant I worked full time and was getting put on best eat quite a bit. He would not keep a job. He would not get along with management, they didn’t like him, they were picking on him, they wanted him to work longer hours or whatever excuse he could find to quit.
He’s also a chain smoker and always needing cigarettes or being very angry and rude when he didn’t have them. Well my son was born early and he needed to be in the NICU. I figured since my bf didn’t have a job that he would stay at the hospital with me.(2 1/2 hours away from our house) he then announced he got a new job and I could stay with the baby and he was going home (our son was given a 50:50 chance to even come home)
I was angry but I let him go hoping he was going to straighten up. Fast forward and our son is home and on oxygen and Of course my boyfriend isn’t working again and I’m pulling doubles. I make enough with my paychecks to pay the bills but I’ve been hiding my tip money in a wax candle burner it’s broken so it doesn’t turn on. I’ve saved quite a bit because if I don’t hide it then he takes it to buy pack after pack of cigarettes.
I know it’s dishonest but it’s the only extra money I have. Well he was messing around and hit the corner shelf where I keep the cash and it fell on the floor and money spilled out. He scolded me for hiding money from him and that he was suffering from nicotine withdrawal and that he couldn’t believe how selfish I was and that I was a liar and all this other stuff. AITA? ###### | NTA. I'm more concerned why you chose to stay with someone like this than why you hid money. ###### |
My 16 year old brother was diagnosed with lactose intolerance about 8 months ago, he has it fairly bad I think he can’t eat anything with lactose in it without having to leave in the bathroom for like 2 days afterward.
My mum has bought lactose free and vegan food to accommodate him while trying to not majorly change his diet. One sore spot for him is ice cream, he has vegan friendly ice cream in our freezer but claims it doesn’t taste the same. I’ve got no clue, I don’t eat it because I don’t want to limit the amount of food he can eat in the house.
So because of the recent hot weather where I live mums been getting more ice cream when she does the shopping. She buys a tub for each of us so there isn’t an issue with sharing ( she’s always done this I think it comes from being 1 of 8 kids growing up and sharing being difficult).
It was the afternoon and the temperature was at its peak so without really thinking about it I went and got my ice cream out and was sat on the sofa eating it, my brother comes down sees me and almost immediately starts shouting while demanding to know what I’m eating. I told him it was cookie dough ice cream and he wanted to know if it was suitable for him, I responded no because it wasn’t and he had a tube of chocolate in the freezer that he could eat.
He started shouting about how he is always left out and disrespected for being different, that he’s always bought shit ice cream and that if he has to make do with vegan ice cream everyone else should too, he then stormed up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door as hard as he could.
Mum and dad have opted to ignore it, they’re putting it down to a stress reaction, he’s asked me to apologise to him because he feels I was inconsiderate of his issues. I don’t think I need to apologise, he’s been offered pills that could help him eat lactose foods but refused them and he has got food options. Why do I have to change my diet for him or my eating habits for him?
So AITA? ###### | NTA. I'm lactose intolerant but I eat ice cream every single day because I take lactase pills. He is making this choice.
And yeah, dairy free ice cream is disgusting. ###### |
I've been saving up in order to move out in order to escape my mother for my own sanity. While checking my online statements with my bank app I found out my mom has taken over $700 out of my account, not counting the 200 i loaned to her.
To say I was pissed is an understatement but I'm too afraid to confront her, so I just decided to move all my money into a new account without her knowledge.
Yesterday our dog got hurt and now she's limping, my mom took her to the vet and came home around thirty minutes later, demanding to know where all my money is.
I asked her what she was talking about and she started yelling at me, saying that 'you need to put the money back' and 'i need it in case of emergencies like this!' I tried telling her that if she needed money I would loan it to her and she just needed to ask but all I got back was 'You live under my roof, the least you can do is help me without me having to ask for it.'
My family is devided, they know cuz afterwards my mom called my relatives to complain about me, on if I'm an asshole or not for moving the money without my mother's knowledge.
AITA?
(Edit: I am currently 18 and work full time. I pay rent and part of our phone bill while having chores. I told her I'd pay for the dogs appointment but my mom is refusing until i put the money back) ###### | Nta. I'm assuming you're over 18. Once you became an adult her name should have been taking off of the account because it's YOUR money. She does not get unfettered access to it. ###### |
Every night, my brother(16) calls his cousin and they play Call of Duty Mobile with 3 other family members. However, when he does this, he's loud as hell and ignores literally everything anyone tells him.
He yells into his mic on his earbuds and constantly is asking if the others can hear him. He also snaps at my other brother(14) and I(20) for being too loud when we're just having a normal conversation because we're butting in on his conversation.
Tonight, I finally had enough of his mess. I asked him to go in his room and play because he was too loud and his constant "can you still hear me?" every 3 minutes was annoying. He instantly got upset and pissy and told his group he was leaving. He then got after me, saying that the wifi isn't good in his room. I told him thats a lie because I get perfect wifi at the way back of our acre property. Then he decided that he didn't wanna be around me anymore, and stormed off to his room and scowled at me every time he left his room. ###### | NTA. I'm assuming it's a shared space he's playing in and it's pretty rude to be on a (loud) phone call with people while there's already people in said room. ###### |
So... my MIL who is temporarily wheelchair bound came to live with us 4 weeks ago to recover from surgery. She is usually a heavy smoker. I do not smoke and I hate it with a passion. Her health means she should not be smoking at all. I am taking her to all her appointments and providing food and care etc. Basically anything she needs I do and buy. So tonight I come home from work and I can smell stale cigarettes. The room she is occupying (my teenage daughter's room which she gave up and is bunking with her much younger sisters) has French doors that so think she is opening up thinking the smell will 'blow away' when all it does is blow straight back I to the house. I had suspected she was smoking outside when I'm at work which is just stupid because she is screwing up her recovery which means longer with me and more appointments for me to take her to but now smoking inside... my house in my daughter's room... and she knows I hate it. Knowing there is no way I would say that is okay. Am I the asshole for being so fucking angry that I want her to get out of my house. Wheelchair or no wheelchair. If she can't respect the way I live then she shouldn't be in my house. So what are your opinions please? I'm so mad. ###### | NTA. I'm a smoker. Have been since it was legal to smoke in restaurants and pubs etc. I don't even smoke in my own house these days let alone someone else's. If I was staying with someone else, I'd even ask if it was OK to smoke outside on their property before doing it. I can't imagine just lighting up inside someone else's house. I'd fully expect to be kicked out immediately.
Edit: errant apostrophe. ###### |
My SIL is an aspiring author, and has been working on a full book series for a few years now. She plans to self-publish, and has been having a hard time deciding on what her book covers will look like, since she doesn’t want blank covers. I’m an artist by hobby, and would like to make it my main means of income eventually. I’m not a known artist by any means honestly, and my SIL knows that I’m working on getting my art out there. So she approached me about making the art for her book covers, and started playing up how it’s going to get my art attention.
Initially, I was interested, but when I mentioned payment for my work, she wouldn’t talk about it and started saying that we can “work something out later.” She won’t even name what she would be willing to pay, and I told her unless she’s paying me, she’s not getting my art. She’s also started watching me as I draw, and makes a noticeably disgusted face when I put my artist signature on the piece.
She eventually brought up the topic of me supplying her cover art again, and specifically asked that I not put my signature on the pieces. I reminded her that I hadn’t even agreed to do her covers, and asked why she didn’t want my watermark on the pieces. She said it was ugly and took the focus off her book title and her own name. So I asked that if I did the works, “would I be paid and credited for the cover work?” She got upset and said I’m being greedy and should just help her because we’re family, and that she gets free art from her friends all the time. I told her to get her free art from her friends then, I will not be working for free.
SIL stormed off to her room after that, and her friends on Facebook have been calling me an ass for not being willing to help a beginner author make a good-looking book. It’s starting to make me second guess my decision to not supply the art for her books.
AITA or is she just being unreasonable? ###### | NTA. I'm a professional artist and experienced a lot of this when I was starting out. It's fine that she doesn't want your signature visible on the cover, but the artist is always credited in the text somewhere in or on the book.
She's not in the driver's seat here...You are. It's very simple. State your price and requirements regarding credit. She can take it or leave it. ###### |
For context, he (23m) isn’t playing for me (23f) specifically, just playing because it’s his hobby. A few hours a day and it’s not generally popular music, usually songs from games or films and 9 times out of 10 they are what I would call ‘Cowboy Themed’. He also does the singing in the appropriate accent for the song (we are English).
We live in a very small flat, our kitchen and living room are one and the only other rooms are the loo and bedroom. He plays in the living room and when he starts I tend to get up and go and sit in the bedroom. The reason for this is because it’s not really the type of music that I like, and he does it LOUD. It’s very overpowering to be in the same room as.
He’s recently mentioned that he thinks it’s rude for me to leave and that I should stay and listen. I thought this was a bit uncalled for, especially considering I don’t even put the tv volume above 15 if it’s something only I’m watching and he’s in the room, and I’ve also watched a video on my phone with sound out loud (not through headphones) precisely once during the time we’ve lived together while we’ve been in the same room, and he asked me to mute it within 30 seconds of it being on because ‘the woman’s voice is annoying’ which I did immediately. I generally make an effort to not be overly loud when doing anything with others present as I was raised that this is rude.
I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, but I think I need another perspective on this! Thanks 😊 ###### | NTA. I'm a musician too. Sometimes we play the same song like 50x in a row to get it down. Your boyfriend expecting you to sit and listen to him play is not only selfish, but leaning towards narcissistic. ###### |
I just went into the kitchen and saw that my flatmate is using communal mugs to clean her menstrual cup. I know that there are probably no germs etc. left in the mug after sterilization but the thought just grosses me out.
I'm a male and am aware that I might not have full insight into this situation. My flatmates are pretty pro-sexual expression, body acceptance etc. which I have no issue with but I still think it's fair enough to find something like this just gross. It has nothing to do with me finding periods gross, but I mean I would not leave blood-stained plasters or condoms lying around on kitchen plates either.
I have not brought it up yet because I'm expecting some backlash and also I wanted to know the opinion of others especially other females. ###### | NTA. I'm a girl and that's af.
Edit: gross. That's gross af ###### |
Client Refuses to Pay Me for Commission, Says I’m Twisting Her Arm
Can somebody back me up here?
One year ago I was contacted for a commission for voicework. I won’t give the client’s name. She had also separately commissioned a scriptwriter as well. That writer did not produce the script for over 6 months, but once they did I had the recordings done in under a week.
I sent them to the client, and then waited for a response. Of course a lot of big developments started happening in my life shortly thereafter. Proposing, moving to England, having a baby. Up until yesterday I’d forgotten about the commission. But upon remembering I sent an email to the client. I stated that I felt I’d been more than patient and wanted to know why I hadn’t been compensated. I also warned her that if I was not compensated, I would refuse to work with her again and tell my colleagues not to either.
I got a message back this morning stating that I shouldn’t expect the terms of a deal to stay the same after a year of no communication. That she feels uncomfortable that I’m “twisting her arm” like this. Then she goes off on how 2019 was a really rough year for her and criticizes me for “threatening” her after a year.
I responded stating that I wasn’t trying to threaten her, but that these are are consequences of going back on our agreement. Am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA. I'd see if you can sue them or file some sort of legal complaint against any media they use your VA work on. ###### |
I recently got a new job (past month) and my boss has two young toddlers who instantly became attached to me. They have a full time nanny, but because they like me so much they have started hanging out around the work place to “help” me. I don’t mind spending time with the kids and enjoy showing them how I do my job and letting them participate, and my boss has expressed how grateful she is for my patience with them and has started leaving me alone with both of them regularly during my work hours. Then yesterday out of the blue she sent me a pretty blunt text message telling me that she is not happy with my level of efficiency at work and that it, “Should not take four hours to do X amount of work.” I totally agree with her that it is taking me way too long to get work done, at my last job I would get almost 3 times the amount of work done in the same amount of time. I just feel like it’s completely unreasonable for her to expect me to work efficiently at my job when I’m also doing the job of her nanny and babysitting two young children/teaching them how to do everything.Am I being unreasonable? What do I even say to her next time I see her? I don’t know how to explain to her that I can’t work efficiently when I have to pace myself with a four-year-old. ###### | NTA. I'd be fairly frank with her. Tell her you "don’t mind spending time with the kids and enjoy showing them how [you] do [your] job and letting them participate," but it will mean that it will take "four hours to do X amount of work." Then you haven't said anything offensive, but the ball is in her court.
What does the nanny do all day? ###### |
So long story short I (18f) dated D (20m) for about three years. In early March I found out I am pregnant. Naturally he was the the first one I told and his response was "come find me again after you get rid of it." This naturally led to a but of an argument until he backhanded me.
After that I walked away and havent spoken to him since. I have however kept somewhat in touch with T (16f) his sister. Time passed and the protests started. About 2wks ago I got a call from T begging me to bail D out of jail because her parents couldnt afford to. Now I don't know how much it was but I probably could have asked my dad at the time and he would have helped if possible. I didnt and still don't see the need to do that. He has not contacted me one time about this baby. I havent blocked him and if he decides to I will let him into this baby's life.
His parents managed to bail him out but now T is calling me a bitch and saying that I shouldnt have made their parents sacrifice a mortgage payment to get him out of jail because he is the father of my unborn child.
So am I wrong in refusing to bail him out? ###### | NTA. I'd also seriously consider if this is the kind of person you want in your child's life. The *only* thing he's done is help create this child. He's already made it clear that he wants nothing to do with either of you. ###### |
He was in a zoom meeting and wanted his wine refilled. I was busy doing things on my computer as well, so he just snapped his fingers at me as if I was a waitress and pointed at his wine glass. Like I get he couldn't talk in his meeting but he couldn't have just muted his mic for a second to ask me to get some more wine for him? I'm not an animal. He doesn't understand why I'm upset about this. ###### | NTA. I wouldn’t even treat a waiter/waitress like that. ###### |
Me and my sister share a car right now, and when I was driving home about 3 or 4 days ago I got into a minor accident that wasn't my fault. The car got completely totaled cause the axel got bent, I was fine and the other driver was fine but ow the only car that works (that we can drive) is my mom's which she takes to work, while we take the bus to our work.
My sister has been blaming me over and over for this accident, and I have had enough. I told her to knock it off but it just didn't work. She is technically my half sister (share the same dad) and my dad cheated on her mom with my mom and had me. Her biggest insult she always calls me is "divorce baby" and I hate it with a passion. Our relationship other than that is alright but if we are ever fighting or I piss her off she will start saying that over and over. I forgot what exactly happen but I know she called me the divorce baby who couldn't drive and I locked myself in my room for the rest of the night.
Her birthday was yesterday and I was still mad at her from the previous night, and where I usually get a gift I got her a card and just wrote down "happy birthday" and called it a day. My mom says she is disappointed, and I told her that I'm not gonna take her calling me the divorce baby. She said I get you are mad but I shouldn't stoop to her level of pettiness.
AITA? ###### | NTA. I wouldn’t do nice things for someone who treats me like shit. ###### |
I (24f) allow my cousin(26m)and his 2 kids to live with me and my girlfriend. I have extreme asthma and other breathing difficulties. My gf suffers from extreme migraines. I only let my cousin stay because I love my neices. He is an avid smoker and never has payed me for him living here. I let him stay in my spare bedroom that used to be the gaming room. My nieces sleep there too. I've caught him smoking in there several times and asked him to stop.
A few weeks ago when I came home I found him in the living room smoking. I yelled at him and said if I caught him smoking again I would kick him out. Well I get a call from my gf at work which is weird but I answered it and she told me she can't find her gold necklace. I first think its just lost somewhere and brush it off. Well I come home just as my gf is leaving to go to the doctors and I walk into my cousins room when she leaves and find a still lit cigarette in the ash tray and I then look all around the room for the box and find the necklace in his empty pants pocket. So i put out the cigarette take a puff of my inhaler and then set them on the table. I proceeded to wait for my cousin. To get back from taking my nieces to the park. He comes back and i tell the girls to go in the other room and then i tell him that he has 3 days to leave. And he then throws a tantrum, calls me names and accuses me of looking through his stuff and then I remind him that he stole from my gf and that he has put my health at risk just so he can smoke.
My aunt called me a heartless bitch and hasnt spoken to me since. My gf thinks I was to hard on him. I called the mom of my nieces so she could come and get them. So reddit did I make a mistake by kicking them out? ###### | NTA. I wouldn't have even let them in, knowing he's a smoker. Just smelling it on his clothes would have made me sick. The stealing is just the icing on the top. ###### |
When I like to have a bit of self love I tend to prefer amateur type videos, one day I'm scrolling through different videos and find someone who looks very familiar. I download the video and lo and behold it is a friend of mine, same tattoo and looks exactly like her. The video is pretty old so it must have been when she was with her ex.
I decided to drop her a message with a screenshot from it so she's not bullshitting. My exact message was "Hey, I thought you ought to know but I found a video of you on the internet in case you didn't know it had been uploaded" and then a link to the video.
I wasn't trying to do anything with it, I'd just want to know if it was a video of me. I thought she'd be a tad embarrassed at most but she was extremely angry. "Why are you showing me this?" and "What are you going to do with it?" were her replies. I tried explaining I wasn't going to do anything and that she ought to know. She called me an arsehole, told me to do what I want and then blocked me.
Did I do something wrong here? Some time last year I told her I like her, she didn't feel the same way and I moved on and all I can think is that she thinks I want to use this against her or something. The ex in question and her didn't part ways wells but I don't know why she thinks I'm going to do something. ###### | NTA. I would want to know. She may feel embarrassed/angry/upset/uncomfortable - but you're not an asshole for making her aware of the video being online. ###### |
Ordered a custom product, told them what I wanted down to the design and colors and paid a design fee. It was a custom gift for my wife and another one for my daughter. A month after it came, they listed the product I had them make for my daughter as a buying option for everyone visiting their site using a photo of my daughters gift as the image on the page. I said something and they refunded my design fee for that product. When they listed the first they decided they would no longer charge the design fee on thing that they would relist or people would pay extra to keep it off their for sale page. Two days after that I check their site and they listed the item I had made for my wife for Mother’s Day. For her it was a personal item and now it’s for sale, no mention of a refund. Feel like i need to take their 5 Star perfect reviews down a notch with a review telling everyone to never have them make something personal. ###### | NTA. I would trash them too if this happened to me. Stealing other people’s designs is low. Especially shitty that they did it twice. You gave them an opportunity to make things right. The public has the right to know that their designs are not safe with these people. They could have switched things up/be inspired by you and created something original but they chose to steal and for that they get no mercy. ###### |
[Slyvy Bear](https://www.flickr.com/photos/69228620@N03/49777975553/in/dateposted-public/) is 16 and sadly it looks like she's nearing the end of her life.
She's struggling to put on any weight and has a bowel tumor. I'm heart broken. I bottle fed her. She's my girl. I'm not ok, I'm not sure I'll ever be ok once she's gone.
My husband wants to bury her at his parents house, with all his pets. I want to cremate her so I can always have her close to me.
Hubby says that's creepy but I don't care and told him that his opinion doesn't matter. He says that he doesn't want a dead pet in the house and I'm being a unreasonable bitch
AITA? ###### | Nta. I would say n a h until he called you names. People mourn differently. ###### |
It’s been really hot in my country lately. 42° with intense humidity. It doesn’t get cool enough to sleep until 2am and my room is the only room in our house without an AC so recently, I’ve been sleeping naked (with only underwear on).
I lock my door and close my curtains, I’m no exhibitionist. I genuinely just do this because of the heat.
Last night, my uncle knocked in my door and I said “wait,” he knocked more and said “faster,” to which I replied to “wait I’m getting dressed.” He started yelling telling me I’m taking so long and he needs to borrow my HDMI cable. I opened the door and apologized because I don’t sleep with clothes on and I had to get dressed.
This resulted in a family meeting, us in the living room where my uncle and my aunt are getting mad at me for sleeping naked. Saying it’s indecent, embarrassing, and “what if the neighbours see?” They even called me a “slut” (in our language) and said I probably do it to video call my boyfriend naked.
I couldn’t defend myself but I feel like I’m TA here because everything they said made sense.
AITA? ###### | Nta. I would recommend getting a bathrobe so you can throw it on quicker than putting all your clothes on ###### |
So basically what happened is that last night I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone in a discord call and then he started cuddling his dog, which he's had for a long time. I don't hate his dog or anything and I understand he loves his dog and I'm completely okay with that. But then I was talking to him and he ignored me and was talking to his dog and said "I love you more than *insert my name here*.
I never had a dog, so I can't say that I understand the strong love between a human and an animal, especially one he's had since he was a kid and that his dog is important to him. But since he was already ignoring me it just annoyed me and was uncalled for because there's a lot of times I feel like he doesn't love me at all. He just told me not to leave the call but I left anyway.
about two hours later I call him back and he asks why I left because he didn't remember and I told him. He thought I was being ridiculous because it was just a joke. But he sounded serious and just told me not to leave which tells me he knew exactly what he said would upset me. He then told his mom about how I was upset and she agreed that I was being stupid about getting jealous over a dog and was just being insecure, which honestly embarrassed me. My boyfriend then started calling me crazy, so I left the call again and he texted me saying "there you go being crazy again.
Was I in the wrong here? I feel stupid about it after I got some sleep but I just want to know if I was being an asshole. ###### | NTA. I would have said no assholes for the first half regarding the joke, because it does sound like a joke albeit one that crashed and burned. But complaining about you to his mother and starting to call you crazy are big asshole moves. ###### |
This is a weird one, sorry in advance. This was 5 months ago and it’s still a fight my bf and I are having. Clearly since pregnancy and miscarriages aren’t easy topic for people to talk about, I’ve come here.
I (27F) was about 6 weeks pregnant when I started bleeding really heavily randomly. To cut a long story short - I was miscarrying. Didn’t know I was pregnant, wasn’t upset about it. It was really whatever. I have no intention of children, I guess the shot failed me.
They sent me home from the hospital after a mental health check to make sure I was okay. Like I said, wasn’t upset about it, didn’t bother me much besides the physical pain obviously. They gave me the pill that helps to move the process along faster at home instead of waiting. When I was at home and sitting on the toilet, I felt it like fall out. So I just kind of look at for awhile and said “I didn’t think I would be able to see it!” (it was in the sac I think?) My boyfriend then said “stop being so fucking weird about this.” He then accused me of wanting to KEEP IT. When I said “it’s just curiosity, this is new to me too.” He stormed off and said he doesn’t want to be with someone who could be so heartless as not to care about this and treat “him” like a science project.
I asked him if he wanted to be pregnant or have kids and he said no but I should “respect” his kid more than that. I told him it’s happening to me and we just feel different about it. I wasn’t trying to be insensitive, I said sorry at the time but he hasn’t let it go.
Was I the asshole? It was something that was just happening to me and I was curious about it. He’s never hinted he’s wanted to kids or pro life of anything so this attitude is new to me. ###### | NTA. I would have been fascinated too. At 6 weeks it wasn't really anything anyway. ###### |
At the time I was 18(F). I was doing a Media Make-Up and SFX course, and when I applied I was not aware there would be hairdressing aswell, I wasn’t interested.
I have Afro-carribean hair and was the only mixed-race person in the class. My teacher and the rest of the girls had straight hair. She wanted the girls to be blow-drying/straightening/rollering my hair, which I explained they can’t because my hairs DIFFERENT and it could ruin it (genuinely, as I use African natural products and I never ever use heat - It’s also super super curly?) and she said I had NO CHOICE but to participate, I was extremely upset. She tried to put a fckin brush through my DRY hair which hurt and I flipped out and left, I have to wash my hair wet & conditioned for obvious reasons. And I felt like despite her being a qualified hairdresser, she should either have some knowledge of my type of hair or not go near it at all. My other teachers & the girls then became super bitchy and telling me I’m “acting superior” which caused my anxiety to rocket, and I eventually left. AITA? ###### | NTA. I would hate for someone to keep trying to touch my hair without consent. However, I don't understand why they don't have hairdressing mannequin heads to practice on instead? The whole thing sucks. I'd speak to the head of the program (or dean, if in college) and make your case heard. You may change the program for the better. ###### |
Some context I live in an apartment complex where the doors face eachother and the space is relatively small. I understand how the camera works in that it picks up on motion and what not and sends an alert to your phone.
My primary concern with this is that this particular neighbor has a history of stealing my packages or attempting to. I've caught him at least 3-4 times stealing my chewys orders and even tried to steal my grandfathers fathers day gift when it was delivered. Hell I have to be careful with food delivery because he tries to steal my groceries when theyre delivered and my uber orders if I order out ((we are in a hotspot and im high risk for covid so I stay put most of the time)).
I also work over night so I tend to walk my dogs around 4 am when I get off and its cool. The other day I got a nasty note on my door from him telling me not to walk my dogs as I set off the alarm.
AITA? ###### | NTA. I would do “fashion shows” just to annoy him with extra notifications. Dress up, leave your apt, twirl about & go back inside, put on a new outfit. Do it over & over again. Build up to costumes. ###### |
I get food stamps. Not a lot but enough to pay for what I need and a little extra. Got a roommate a few months ago and everything was going great. Paid rent on time. Bought food and everything.
Now it's not so great. He doesn't buy food for the house he buys this minute microwave meals for himself which was fine. I still had my food. Well few weeks ago he lost his job and is supposed to start a new one soon. But I'm that time I been helping out by cooking a little extra and sharing what I had. Things have been right trying to pay our bills and food but not bad.
Well tonight kind of pissed me off. I had a late lunch and didn't feel like cooking yet so I was into my game and he rolls into the kitchen and starts cooking. And I mean actual cooking. I was kind of happy I wouldn't have to cook dinner ya know?
Boy was I wrong. I head him cleaning up so I got take a look and there's one plate LOADED with eggs bacon hash browns sausage and grits. So I asked where's mine and he says I didn't know u wanted any and walked off. I mean Not only did he use my food to make this meal he ate the sausages I had pulled out for me and him to share. I just don't know I'm so angry over this that it's got me shaking. So am I the Ass hole if I confront him about this tomorrow? Or should I let this go? ###### | NTA. I would definitely confront him (without being aggressive) and set some boundaries. ###### |
So my (f22) bf (m22) mentioned that he and his coworker send weird hentai to each other as a joke. I immediately got annoyed and told him it was inappropriate and I wasn’t comfortable with it. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with it but told me he wouldn’t do it if it made me uncomfortable. He tells me I guess your right. I wasn’t trying to make this about me being right or trying to attack him, I told him I was just trying to get my feelings across. He just responded with I understand and that was it. Now he isn’t texting me. Was I blowing this out of proportion? This all happened over text btw.
Edit: the coworker was female. That’s why I was upset. ###### | NTA. I would be upset too if my bf send weird hentai to another girl. Its indeed inappropriate. I guess he just not replying because he is self reflecting on his actions. ###### |
This relates to an online marketplace for guitars. Last December I was selling a guitar of mine for just about $6,000 which someone bought. I had to ship it to them. I made sure to document my packaging (a dozen or so photos in varying states of packed) as well as I took a photo of me dropping it off at the PO. I've been buying and selling and shipping guitars online for ten-ish years at this point and I do this for every guitar I ship. I shipped it out, I got my money, and I thought this was the end of it.
Two weeks go by and the buyer says he didn't receive the guitar. Tracking says it was delivered. They contact the marketplace site and try to get the situation mediated. I was told it's my responsibility to ensure delivery. I call the courier, they confirm it was delivered (they even have a photo of the courier dropping it off). I thought this was the end of it, but nope.
The courier said if the buyer didn't have it, it was porch pirated. Despite paying $300 extra for the full $6000 insurance, they won't pony up. Said it's out of their control. At this point the marketplace said I needed to refund the buyer and eat the cost.
This seemed so fishy to me. If it was indeed porch pirated, then the courier should pay for it. But there's no proof: the buyer could have got it and just wants their money, too. It seemed they were beginning the process of automatically taking the money out of my account, so I went to the bank and closed that account, withdrawing all my money. I switched banks and washed my hands of it.
Was I the asshole here? If it truly was porch pirated, I feel for the buyer but this wasn't my fault. Nowhere in the marketplace policy guide does it mention porch pirates, nor does the courier's website. Friends of mine have said this is the cost of doing business and I should have ate the cost. I told many of them to eat shit. ###### | NTA. I work in shipping. If the customer allows the product to be left on the porch vs signed for it's on them if shit happens. ###### |
This is so stupid I know, but here it goes. Background: I (27F) have wanted to get matching tattoos with my husband (33M) for years. We have been together for 9 years now. Not like each other’s names or anything crazy, but something that symbolizes our relationship. Every idea I’ve had he’s shot down, and he hasn’t put forth any ideas.
Fast forward to today, when he says that he wants to get a tattoo of a rubber duck with 2 guys that he works with. I’m sure it’s an inside joke or something. One of the guys he has known less than a year, and the other he’s worked with for a few years. So it’s not like they’re best friends or anything.
I told him it bothered me that I’ve been trying to plan a tattoo with him for years, but he decides at the drop of a hat he wants to get a random tattoo with 2 guys he really doesn’t know all that well. He got mad and said I “just don’t understand”, which apparently he’s right because I don’t. Admittedly I feel a bit left out, almost jealous.
I know that it his body, he is an adult and it is his choice. I’m not trying to tell him not to get a tattoo with them, or to force him to get just any tattoo with me. That’s ridiculous. I just wonder if I’m making something out of nothing here. AITA? ###### | NTA. I won't make judgements on getting a tattoo as a long established couple or as short term friends. The thing is, you don't understand, and understandably so. You got some conflicting information. He should come clear about why he's not excited about getting a tattoo with you, why he's postponing it, or at least how one matter is different from the other in his eyes. ###### |
Hello everyone. Final grades are due soon, and my TA is adamant that I'm an asshole for considering this.
Background: I teach at a large public university. One of my classes this semester had two midterms worth 25% each, and a final worth 50%.
A student contacted me after Midterm #1 to tell me that her test had been incorrectly marked, as the TA had mistakenly calculated her mark to be 100 when it was in fact a 90. This 10% decrease on her midterm would work out to be 2.5% of her final grade. I thanked her and had her come by the TA's office to adjust her mark.
This student did excellently on both midterms, but not as well on the final. Her overall mark in the course is an 80, which is the minimum required mark for an A- i.e. a 3.7 GPA. I plan to bump her up to an 85, which is the mark required for an A, or a 4.0 GPA. I do not know this student well, having met her only once. However, I know she wants to go to medical school, and where we're from, you need to essentially have a 4.0 if you want to get there.
My logic is that had she not come to me, she would have automatically gotten a grade 2.5% higher. By showing integrity, she gets to earn an extra 2.5% reward on top of that. I also would be pleased to have more people like her in our medical system and am happy to facilitate that. *Nobody else* is affected by this as the class is not curved.
My TA says it's unfair as none of the other students were given this accidental opportunity to come forwards and earn a higher grade. I'll tell you what: in my 20+ years of teaching, this is the first student I've ever had come to me to have her grade adjusted down. I have had, on average, a quarter of the class make their way into my office hours at some point during each semester to argue for marks going up. Stands to reason that a further quarter of the class should be coming in to argue for lowered marks, but this has not occurred.
I think this is fair. AITA? ###### | NTA. I wish my professors were more like you. Not because you’re bumping up a grade, but because you’re assessing the situation holistically and trying to put your student on a level playing field from the previously made mistake. Because it’s clear that you understand that grades can absolutely make or break us, and sometimes the system is just flawed. This tiny change could entirely make the rest of your student’s future and potentially put them on a track towards a successful career within the medical field. That’s pretty awesome in my book. If you feel like it’s the right thing to do, then go ahead and do it. ###### |
In my group of friends there's one guy who is your stereotypical nice guy, even comes with his own fedora. He's asked at every girl in our group then goes with "it's just a friend date" when they inevitably said no. I mostly ignore it all, but he ended up asking my GF out, when she said no he said he just wanted to hang out as friend and when she invited me he suddenly wasn't interested.
We've all been hanging out in a video chat lately and his cringeniess is becoming more and more apparent. I try to ignore it all but it just makes things awkward for everyone as he competes far too much with other guys when they're just talking to the girls. At one point we were all drinking and playing a game and my GF was being terrible at it so I was poking fun at her and ribbing her. He chimes in with "I think you should apologise to her, that was uncalled for" so she said "Dude, I don't need you to whiteknight me" which made him go quiet and then leave the chat.
He's been hitting on one new girl and it's made her uncomfortable, or so says my GF, and he's just not getting the message. We were all drinking tonight and he was jsut being super awkward so I just blurted out "She's not gonna fuck you bro, move on". he got quiet, left and then left all the chats.
Some people are saying I should apologise and that I was bullying him. ###### | NTA. I wish more people would have confronted the creepy dudes in my friend group. ###### |
This happened when I was 14 in 2001, but it comes up sometimes.
I was living with my parents and brother, we were pretty broke so we never got gifts.
For my brothers birthday he was giving a CD player/radio boom box thing for his room. For him that meant entertainment and fun and mind expansion etc.
For my birthday I was given an electric razor to shave my legs outside of the shower with no water. My parents said I wasted way too much water shaving and now I was not allowed to shave in the shower ever again. This was my only gift and I was upset and said I’d rather have a gift that stimulated my mind, something I could enjoy, like my brother got.
It ended up in both of them yelling at me and calling me selfish and saying to be grateful I got anything. I said they were sexists and I got grounded.
Discussing this the other day my parents still maintain that I was being a jerk. AITA? ###### | NTA. I will maintain that your parents are assholes ###### |
So this happened a while back but a conversation with a teacher made me overthink it.
I coached gymnastics. My last name is my fathers, and I'm not in contact with him due to mental abuse. I don't like my last name. So let's same my name was Lexy Smith. I introduced myself to the kids as mrs. Lexy.
I did this in all my classes, also those where I was an assistant. One day after assisting a preteam class (ages 5 to 8), the main teacher and I were cleaning up and she told me she would prefer if I would go by mrs. Smith because the kids were now calling her by her first name too. I refused since hearing my last name reminds me of the past and while I'm coaching I want to have fun. I get these kids are little, but surely they can call us by the names we prefer? She said she was older so I should just do what she says.
This was just before summer break and this specific class didn't fit in my new school schedule but in my other classes I kept up mrs. Lexy and nobody ever had a problem with it again.
But AITA for using my first name when kids adress me? ###### | NTA. I went by Ms. Firstname as a teacher for similar reasons. The other teacher is perfectly capable of solving her problem herself by issuing a quick and gentle correction. “My name is Mrs. Bumbleschmoop” is not hard to say. ###### |
My fiance and I were planning to get married this year anyway. We obviously can't do a "full" wedding, but we need to legally marry now for legal reasons and health insurance. In my area, weddings can only have a maximum of 15 people, and that includes the officiant, the bride and groom, and any vendors they have.
So with just the bare minimum (us, officiant, and a photographer), we can only have 11 guests. My fiance has his parents, and 5 siblings, all of whom live in the state and are close. I have my parents, who are divorced and remarried, and two siblings.
Including the stepparents, we have 17 people total, which is 2 over the limit. We have to clip by two people. Bio parents can't be cut. Siblings are all close and we can't just cut siblings out without an even worse fallout. So that leaves the new(er) spouses. I like them both and the relationship is good, but they're the closest to "extra" people that we can cut from this wedding (I know this sounds horrible).
My stepmother is furious, says I don't respect her or any marriage, and that it's horribly wrong to split up a married couple no matter what the circumstance. My stepfather is sad but understands that I can't really control the situation.
Not marrying now isn't practical advice. We can't just "bend the rules" and have them, because the police will give us a heavy fine, and we will be forced to completely disperse. I'm willing to come take pictures with them later, they just can't come to the actual wedding. AITA? ###### | NTA. I was leaning toward n a h because I understand why your stepmother’s feelings might be hurt, but I think her reaction went a bit too far. You didn’t “disrespect” her marriage and I don’t know why she can’t see or accept that in this situation this is really the only solution. ###### |
This happened a while ago, but still get comments about how much of an asshole I am so I guess I'll ask here
I knew my SO's (of 4 months) birthday was coming up, but wasn't really paying attention to the date. I was pulling 24/26 hour shifts every other day for work.
I won't lie, I was relying on a Facebook notification to remind me of the date.
The date comes while I'm on a 24hr shift, and I'm like "Isn't today supposed to be his birthday?" and check Facebook, nope. I was off by 4 days.
I feel kinda like a douche for not getting the date right, but whatever. Drive home, and get ready for bed. He keeps hounding me about how he wants to do stuff, I'm like nah, I wanna go to sleep. I've been up roughly 27 hours now and don't wanna do anything.
"Not even have sex?" "No. I've been awake 27 hours. I'm tired!" and he gets all huffy. "I can't believe you don't even wanna do anything and it's my BIRTHDAY." I stayed up an additional 6 hours to do stuff he wanted.
He then admitted to how he was sure I would forget it being his birthday, and went onto Facebook to change the date of his birthday to prove I would forget it without Facebook reminding me.
I kinda felt like a douche, but he knew I was exhausted and went as far as changing the date on his Facebook.
AITA? ###### | NTA. I was going to blame everybody because at least remembering your SO‘a birthday is a pretty important thing to do, but him changing his birthday on Facebook to trick you is beyond the pale. That’s not a trusting relationship, that’s gaslighting. I won’t even get in to how shitty it is for him to pressure you into sex.
But on your next boyfriend, who hopefully isn’t an ass, do try to remember their birthday and at least acknowledge it. ###### |
My brother and I are very close. When we need advice or just to talk we turn to each other for support. Same with my sister.
My brother married his wife in April of 2019 and have begun trying to have a baby. My brother called me yesterday and told me that they went to see her doctor and he told them that they should not try to have a biological child. My SIL takes medications that would most likely cause severe birth defects and unfortunately it is too dangerous to take her off the meds because it may kill her.
Obviously we were, and are heartbroken for them. My brother would be an awesome father and he loves my kids like crazy. I told him that it was not the end of the world and that they could always adopt or foster a child. He then told me that they were going to try anyway, despite the doctor telling them both that this was not a good idea because of all the risks.
I got very angry with him and told him they were both being extremely selfish. That even if they were able to conceive the risk of having a child with severe birth defects that may cause them to require constant care or possibly pass away at birth was ludicrous. He said that I wasn’t a doctor and didn’t know what I am talking about; and he’s right. I’m not a doctor, but I do know that I would be so heartbroken for them and for their child if something were to happen.
He says that I wouldn’t understand since I have children, but I do. My second child has permanent brain damage from lack of oxygen at birth. My delivery was complicated and we both almost died. My son will always have developmental delays and I will never forgive myself for it, even though I did nothing wrong nor did the doctors.
My sister and mother completely agree with me that what they are doing is terrible. However, my SILs family has been calling and messaging me and calling me terrible names. I only told my brother the truth because he asked.
So AITA for telling him the truth? ###### | NTA. I was expecting a VERY different post from that title than what we got. ###### |
Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
My “friend” is getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid about a year ago. There’s been some tension from the get-go and I know she’s wanted to kick me out for various reasons over the past few months. (Some have been direct fights, others I’ve found out through side comments made to other mutual friends.) At this point, I’m fine with it. Also fine ending the friendship. Done with the drama.
I anticipate she will ask to call me in the near future, likely to officially kick me out of her wedding. The question here is: would I be a dick if I recorded the call?
- She says crazy shit on these fighting phone calls. Honestly I’d like to share it with my boyfriend post-call.
- I have no interest in blasting her online or anything, but wouldn’t mind having it as a backup to share privately in case she tries to lie about me to mutual friends.
- My state requires one party to consent to record (so it’s legal).
So, would I be the asshole if I record this call? ###### | NTA. I was booted from a wedding party for “looking too gay” and boy I wish I recorded that phone call. ###### |
A little background info on myself. My half-sister and I have the same father. We grew up apart, we did not meet until adulthood. We are now good friends and treat each other like sisters. My mother died of cancer and one of my biggest regrets was talking her into chemotherapy and radiation treatment. She was happy and relatively healthy even with the cancer, and I made sure that her last few months were miserable and hellish.
My sister sent me a message saying that her mother, who is 85 years old and has severe dementia, was just diagnosed with lung cancer. It has spread to her brain, bones, and liver. The doctors told my sister that she had 3 months to live, maybe, but she could live 6 months with chemotherapy and radiation. I told my sister my experience with my mother, and I recommended that she not push the treatment and just try to enjoy the 3 months she has left with her mother.
I’ve never seen anyone so mad. She actually referred to me as an “attempted murderer,” called me a bastard child, and posted on Facebook about how she is surrounded by poisonous snakes disguised as friends.
Was I being an asshole and over the line here? I was honestly just trying to help and be honest about my personal experience. ###### | NTA. I was almost willing to give a NAH but that is a lot of reaction.
I almost want to ask what you said verbatim because wow (don't feel like you need to do that, it just crossed my mind.) ###### |
Okay so I know the title sounds like I am the asshole here but hear me out. I have a walk in closet attached to my bathroom you have to go in the bathroom to get to the closet. Currently I moved my work stuff in the walk in (its HUGE) because I needed space I can work in quiet and the area has to be able to lock. I don't mind being attached to the bathroom most of the time, its our master bathroom so no one really uses it but us. We do have another bathroom across the apartment that is perfectly usable. My boyfriend thinks I am ridiculous that when I am working I ask him to not poop in the bathroom ATTACHED TO THE CLOSET WHERE I HAVE TO WORK. Its not a big deal to go across the apartment and poop in the other one but it causes this BIG thing every time. A few minutes ago he goes to poop in the bathroom again and I reiterate that I don't want to work and have to sniff his shit the whole time and he tells me I am making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. I told him it was a big deal to me and I don't understand why he has to be selfish about it and not just use the other bathroom. He walked away this time shutting both doors and not pooping but I know he's mad I called him selfish about it. As ridiculous as this is, Reddit am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA. I was all ready to call you TA and say, "well where else would he go?" But there's literally another bathroom he can use. Why is it such a big deal for him to use the other bathroom? It's completely reasonable for you to not want to smell that while working. Also, is there no other room that you can work in? ###### |
I just went into the kitchen and saw that my flatmate is using communal mugs to clean her menstrual cup. I know that there are probably no germs etc. left in the mug after sterilization but the thought just grosses me out.
I'm a male and am aware that I might not have full insight into this situation. My flatmates are pretty pro-sexual expression, body acceptance etc. which I have no issue with but I still think it's fair enough to find something like this just gross. It has nothing to do with me finding periods gross, but I mean I would not leave blood-stained plasters or condoms lying around on kitchen plates either.
I have not brought it up yet because I'm expecting some backlash and also I wanted to know the opinion of others especially other females. ###### | NTA. I use a cup and would NEVER leave it in anything communal. Even if it has been sterilized, I wouldn’t leave something that goes inside my body to catch blood just out like that in things other people use. ###### |
About a year or so ago, my wife asked me for advice on how to invest her IRA contributions in the stock market. Note: she was very hesitant to take my advice, and thought investing was like betting, because she thinks it is the same thing as gambling. Without pressuring at all, she took my advice anyways on what to invest in (low to moderate risk stuff). She then proceeded to mention it to me nearly every time the market had a bad day in a very whiny and complaining voice. When I reached my limit in patience after numerous such complaints, I said this is making me feel guilty and responsible, and maybe we shouldn't talk about this, and you do what you want to do with your IRA funds ( i.e. if you want to sell, do what you want.)
She proceeds to get super defensive and say how it "wasn't her intention" to make me feel bad. Fast forward a few months to today, she again raises how she wants some more "tips." I say I don't want to be involved at all. She then proceeds to get angry at me, including for bringing up the past incidents mentioned above, and continues to focus on "I didn't mean to make you feel guilty" as if that's the only thing that matters. I repeatedly say that it's not really about what you intended, it's about how you speak, the context, and how that can make me feel in light of that. Now she's in another room and we aren't talking.
AITA? ###### | NTA. I understand your wife’s perspective: investing *is* a bit like gambling even if you do it full time, and even if you just put everything into an index fund.
Having said that, you offered advice that wasn’t well received and it is perfectly reasonable to not want to participate again. Your wife should be more understanding of your reluctance to act as a financial advisor, rather than taking it personally. ###### |
Okay for background information, I’m 18F and just recently lost my virginity a month ago. I’ve been regularly sleeping with the guy since losing it. There was a day where the condom broke and it made me start thinking about getting on birth control so that I’m double protected, I was a little hesitant at first because of all the side effects so I decided to go to the doctor and talk about my options. She ended up prescribing me the pills and I guess my mom’s number is connected to my pharmacy profile because she gets a text saying that the birth control pills have been filled. She starts blowing up my phone asking why I got birth control so I told her...
Now she’s been going off on me saying I’m a disappointment and that I’m stupid for having sex and I just don’t understand? I feel like in my generation sex is just such a normal and talked about thing. I’m 18 and starting college this year.. if I didn’t lose it now I would’ve definitely ended up losing it in college anyways. But she’s starting to make me feel kinda guilty about it.. saying that I’m not the daughter she raised and she expected better of me. Also she’s mad over the fact that I didn’t tell her but I find that kinda weird and an invasion of privacy. I feel like it’s none of her business what I choose to do with my body. But I’ll ask you guys, AITA for having sex and for not telling her about it?
BTW I never brought the guy into our house, I find that disrespectful. ###### | NTA. I understand that some parents get upset when their kids become sexually active. However, and feel free to bring this up to your mom, she can’t be mad that you didn’t tell her when you lost your virginity-her reaction now is showing you exactly why she couldn’t be trusted with that. ###### |
I'm working at home for now and thus doing frequent Zoom meetings. One of my co-workers has started in these meetings whenever she has to state her name and position also stating "my pronouns are she and her" after that. No one really seems to care either way and hasn't acknowledged that, and no one else has started doing so. She also now has them in the signature of her email.
We were recently chatting in the IM app and then she asked me why I or anyone else hasn't done this too. This is likely because we were kind of close in the office. I just told her I don't see a need and everyone already knows I'm a guy and I look like one (I even have a beard.) She got kind of upset and said that's not the point and it's about creating a more inclusive workplace but she's getting frustrated no one else is doing so. She told me it's makes things more inclusive for trans people, but we have no trans employees as far as I can tell and if we do they've transitioned so much and so effectively they are recognizable as such and would probably just want to be treated as normal. So I flat out told her that I won't be stating pronouns anywhere and don't find it necessary. She seemed to take it kind of person and has lately been a bit bitter to me, probably realizing if she can't sway me to it no one else will. I've always found our workplace inclusive and open-minded anyway and don't see how this'll help anyone.
So am I being any type of asshole? ###### | NTA. I understand stating pronouns at like the start of a college class or something but in the workplace when you have already been interacting with each other frequently this is just weird. It's especially weird coming from someone who I assume is cis and does not get misgendered. ###### |
My(25) boyfriend(23) was still an art student when we got together, so he used to have me be his model to practice drawing, sometimes nudes even. I am quite okay with it as long as he doesn't show them around to other people and he respected that.
For my birthday he used one of his old sketches of me, one with me completely bare, and recreated them as a full coloured digital painting and gave it to me. He did a wonderful job, it was so much better in comparison to his previous sketch and he added more details to it and even added flowers and some light orbs(sorry, not sure how to describe)to make it better.
We have come to a disagreement however when he wanted to put that painting in his portfolio.
I told him that I am not comfortable to have a painting of me completely bare to be out there in public. His painting is so life like that I am sure people who know me can tell by its face that it is me. Furthermore, it a birthday gift for me and it feels bad to have it up in for public view
My boyfriend said that the painting is one of his best, his masterpiece even. It would be a shame if he cannot use it for advertising, especially since he wanted others to have him do commissions. also said that while it is a painting of me, it is not really me, it is a painting, an artwork of his.
While we argued my boyfriend came to say that people wouldn't recognize it as me since I don't have the same body I had before(I gained weight recently). This set me off and I threw him out of the room. I am writing this while he is outside apologising. ###### | NTA. I understand him wanting to put it in his portfolio if it’s one of his best, but if you have expressed that a nude of YOU in his portfolio makes you uncomfortable, that should be the end of discussion. If he is good enough to make that, he can put the time and effort into another piece.
Edit: I need to touch on the last part of your post. Him saying that it “doesn’t even look like you anymore” is him trying to manipulate you, and he is also being extremely rude because he’s butt hurt. This is not cool and boundaries need to be set. ###### |
So my mom and I share my YouTube account on our TV. However, I find it rather annoying and would prefer to keep it all to myself. Not because I have anything to hide, but it's just nice to me. It's nice not to have your recommendations butchered by other people's viewing habits, it's nice not to have your watch history clogged up by things somebody else has watched, and it's just nice to have something of your own, you know?
I told her I could *easily* set up her own profile in 5 minutes where she can watch whatever she want whenever she wants on her *own* account. She refused, though, because apparently that's "too much of a hassle" and "oh, you want to take away the last thing that we have together?" (which is both bullshit, by the way), and after an entire argument she finally decided to "let me set up her account on the 1st of August"
Now, I am wondering, am I the asshole for requesting that she stops using my account, and that I'll help her get her own account, instead? We came to a compromise I *guess*, and of course it is not the end of the world if we share an account but she kept insisting I am being cruel and rude for this. ###### | NTA. I understand fully, I regret putting my youtube account on the main TV because of how weird it makes my recommendations, YET it doesn't even sync the watch history with my other youtube devices, so I can't finish up an episode on a different screen without searching for it and fast forwarding to where I left off.
Change your password, and put a new account for her on the TV today, she doesn't need to babying through it lol. ###### |
A friend was just complaining that he got an Amber Alert close to 3 in the morning. I just casually showed him that you could switch it off. He thanked me, and I guess he showed it to a bunch of people.
Eventually that spread until my girlfriend found out that I switched off my Amber Alerts and confronted me about it. She said that I didn’t care about little kids being stolen, and that the reason why Amber Alerts work is because the entire community gets them. “It’s the price we pay to live on a society”. Yeah, no, I pay my taxes. My reasoning was that it’s my phone, and I get to modify it however I want. This has caused a big rift in our relationship.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA. I turned them off too after being woken up in the middle of the night by one. It nearly gave me a heart attack. What was I going to do? Jump in my car and go hunt them down? Besides, most of the time it’s another family member who has taken the child and they usually have a pretty good idea of where they’re headed and will catch them before anyone who got an amber alert will. ###### |
I (45F) left my husband (40m) a few days ago, took my kids and went to a hotel. I was hoping to work things out but needed some time to think. We had a big fight but what it comes down to is that he doesn’t feel like I am a good mother since I got cancer. I don’t do enough around the house after being sick and having surgery and chemo. I will admit it has been hard and it’s been a long road to recovery. I started back to work 8 months ago but I still take care of my children when they aren’t at school. He has done the bulk of the housework and I appreciate everything he’s done but I’m just so tired of him telling me that I’m not a good mom, and “not even a parent”. I just had to get out of there. I just can’t accept how cruel his is to me anymore. So I gathered the kids things and left.
One of the things I took was my husbands iPad so that my son can do his schoolwork. I didn’t realize I could also see his messages until a notification came up while we were doing school. He was talking to my cousin (29m) who has lived with us for almost a decade. He was saying that he wished I had died from
cancer. He said fact that I lived is the worst thing to ever happen to him. My cousin just said, “yea, I hear ya bro” and things like that. They had a long conversation and the opinion that I should have died was stated four times. Not once did my cousin, who I helped raise, defend me.
I have not returned home because of what I saw. My husband wants to work things out, but even if I do, I don’t want my cousin in my home anymore. I am so hurt that my so called family would not defend me and would just agree that I should have died. My husband has rage issues that he needs to address and I won’t be going anywhere near him until he does, but aita to say I never want to see my cousin again either? ###### | NTA. I think your cousin is the least of your problems. Your husband is such an AH for saying all that. He is toxic. Please think carefully before working things out with him.
I hope you have a speedy recovery. And you are not a bad mom at all!! ###### |
I have four children: 5M, 7F, 8M, and 10M. They are very close and best friends and they all love to play together. We live in a rural area and a woods is basically in our backyard. The kids love to run around in there. I’m working from home and my husband was laid off his job so husband has been sitting in the backyard and keeping an eye on them. I like to let them have free rein a little, but I can’t really trust the 10 yo to take care of the 5 yo in an emergency.
I finished my work early and came out to be with my husband and kids. I notice kids are playing this game and they keep calling each other “gay”. I pull 7 yo aside and ask them what they’re playing. She explains that they’re playing that “gay game”. Basically you have to do some physical thing (cartwheel, sprint, crazy acrobatics, etc.) and whoever can’t do it or whoever does it the worst is gay. I ask husband how long they’d been playing that game and he said a few weeks. I asked him why he hadn’t stopped them and he said it was harmless.
I kind of understand what he means. They probably picked it up at school or at the playground or something and they aren’t intending to offend anyone or something. I’m pretty sure they don’t even know what “gay” means. Husband says he played a game like that as a kid and I know I definitely did. I just feel like what was acceptable 40 years is not acceptable today. We have gay neighbors and this kind of negative connotation gay use is harmful in the world. I told the kids that they have to find a new game to play. They asked why and I told them that what they were playing was hurtful. I don’t think they’re taking it too hard.
Husband thinks that I’m overreacting and that they’ll grow out of it. I just can’t get over the fact that he heard them playing for weeks and didn’t address it. AITA? ###### | NTA. I think you’re doing the right thing in encouraging your kids to be considerate and empathetic towards others. I’ve chipped my kids (9M and 11M) for using ‘gay’ as an insult. They know what it means in the context of someone being attracted to people of their own sex, and they are OK with it. I’ve explained to my kids that using the word ‘gay’ as an insult tells people that being gay is a bad thing and is hurtful to people who are actually gay.
Maybe they could call it the “lame game” instead? ###### |
So I'm new to this sub and I apologize in advance for any formatting mistakes.
My friend (22f) texted me a video of this good looking dude she saw at a restaurant. I noticed that she seemed to be recording over someone's shoulder so I texted her about it and she told me she was on a date with her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend (23m) is extremely caring and kind. He treats her really nicely and they've been dating for around 5 mo. He's really kind to her, nice to her friends and has good manners, keeps their apartment clean, etc. He's a really good guy and I'm really happy for her.
Anyway I texted her as a joke "did you really take this video of a handsome guy while you were on a date with BF name?" and she told me she did because he was "So fine".
So I was like "WTF?" I thought this was really disrespectful of her to do, especially right in front of her own boyfriend. So I tried to tell her that, but she told me that she only recorded it because the other guy was really hot and she wanted to show me.
So it seemed like she was dodging my questions so I just outright told her "Taking a video of a hot guy while you're on a date with your boyfriend is really disrespectful to him." She got really upset and told me that I shouldn't be meddling in their relationship and that she only took the video to show me.
AITA for doing this? ... ###### | NTA. I think you’re a good friend for calling out her inappropriate behavior, something that a lot of people aren’t so keen on doing. I think that sometimes being called out by someone close to you helps you really realize that what you did may be wrong. Props to you for being real with her, hopefully she’ll come to her senses. ###### |
My boyfriend \[29M\] and I \[23F\] have been together for 4 months but known each other a few years. He earns roughly double what I do and lives in a nice apartment by himself, I have a nice enough apartment with 2 housemates. His apartment is a lot closer to our respective workplaces than mine and as a result of this we've always tended to spend more time at his place.
Last night he was in a fairly irritable mood anyway, then later on in the evening he suddenly told me rent is due next week and I need to transfer him half. This really took me aback as although we have briefly discussed moving in together in the past we've never spoken about me moving into his place or paying him rent. I thought it was an unspoken understanding that I absolutely **cannot** afford half his rent and so if we were to move in together we'd both have to move.
I thought about it and I admit I have been back to my own place only twice in the past two weeks but I've never received any impression from him that I've overstayed my welcome, and we've hung out together in that time when we're not working. In the past when he's mentioned he's having friends over I've stayed away unless he's invited me into those plans. Also, I do the majority of the cooking for us and tend to buy the groceries for that, and we take it in turns paying for dates but he probably does pay more in total.
I just kept quiet when he mentioned it last night (it was already pretty late so I didn't go home) as he was already in a bad mood and I felt like he was pushing for an argument, then I went back to my own place after work today.
I realise that he obviously feels that I have overstepped a boundary in the amount of time I've spent at his but I honestly did not realise before now. AITA for not feeling like I should have to pay half his rent this month? This is the first I've heard of the issue, and also I would *really* struggle to do so. ###### | NTA. I think you two should sit down and try to have a serious discussion about why he thinks you should be paying for his rent. If it’s because you have been staying at his place lately, then he needs to let you know if that’s bothering him, like an adult would. But he can’t just expect you to pay rent out of nowhere. ###### |
My (22m) dad (49m) just got home with his girlfriend. As soon as they walk in all I hear is him yelling and calling her some fucked up names. Then they start arguing out in the front yard. Fyi my dad was 100% the aggressor and his girlfriend was just crying and trying to talk to him while he was screaming at her.
He came inside and locked the door leaving her outside. I heard her saying she needs her keys. (She doesn't live with us). My dad told her she wasn't getting them. This is when I decide to step in.
I confronted my dad and we got into a heated argument. He said I'm a bastard for getting into his business and a traitor for taking her side. I told him that I watched him treat my mom like shit for their entire marriage and I wasn't about to watch him verbally abuse another woman. That really pissed him off. He bowed up to me then told me I "wasn't worth it" then went into his bedroom.
I saw his girlfriend's purse on the table and walked out front and gave it to her and she left. My dad found out I helped her and told me to get out of his house because I took her side. Really though I just wanted her to be able to leave. I took nobody's side.
Am I the asshole for helping her because now I feel like I betrayed him. ###### | NTA. I think you handled this about as well as a person could. Good for you for standing up for someone in need of your help. ###### |
My older sister and I share the house we grew up in as part of our inheritance. To keep this as concise as possible, my sister’s boyfriend and I absolutely do not get along. I genuinely do not think he’s a good person and have no problem going out of my way to avoid him. My sister is well aware of the fact that we don’t like each other, but is constantly setting up scenarios for us to get together and hash out our differences.
Although I don’t like him, I don’t care if she brings him over as long as she lets me know when he’s coming, which she normally does. I got off work yesterday and found him in the living room, and when I asked how he got in he said he used a spare key. To my knowledge we don’t have a spare, just the two keys that both my sister and I have, but I shrugged it off and went to my room. When my sister came home, I asked when we got a spare key and she said she copied her key and gave him one so he could come and go since he stays over often. I was furious, because this was never discussed with me. When they went to bed, I took the key off the ring and I have no plans on giving it back. She’s upset with me because she says that the house is just as much hers as it is mine and I don’t have the right to take things that “aren’t mine”. ###### | NTA. I think since you're both owners of the house, things like that should definitely be discussed and decided between both of you. ###### |
For context: I am 16, mom is 49.
My mother’s grandfather passed away about a month ago. She was super close to him so it’s been really hard on her. She’s finding that she’s really sad (obviously) and having a hard time coping.
My mom usually doesn’t like materialistic gifts so I usually just write her a letter or a card or craft her something but I have a job as a tutor now so I wanted to buy her a little bit. I did write a card for her and got some other stuff but when I was browsing target I saw this thing called a “happy journal.” It basically consists of ideas to do for self care and happiness and a place to record her moods. I thought it was a thoughtful idea because she’s been sad lately and I wanted to acknowledge she was going through a tough time.
However, my friends told me it’s insensitive and I’m just marketing off of her sadness. I truly thought it was a good idea because she hasn’t been seeing her therapist due to quarantine and virtual therapy isn’t cutting it. I feel like a bad daughter and I’m hesitant to give it to her.
AITA? ###### | NTA. I think it’s sweet and I bet your mom will too. You’re not “marketing off her sadness”, you’re trying to help her find little ways to feel better throughout the day. Ignore your friends and give your mom the journal, and tell her why you thought of it. ###### |
For context, I’m a 16M and have an iPad Pro, which is quite pricy, and I don’t want to have it broken or scratched up. This is why I prefer to watch him with my tablet if he wants to use it, because I can stop him if he gets too rough. Not only that but I have personal shit on there that I don’t want to be shown to my family. It’s **PASSWORD LOCKED** for a reason!
My parents are almost always great, a little strict but never too overbearing.
What happened was that I was upstairs, playing with friends online, and I come downstairs afterwards and look for my tablet as I wanted to watch videos or just do anything on it.
To my surprise my brother was playing a dinosaur game on it, which was frustrating purely because I had not been asked if it was ok for him to do so. I saved up so much money for the tablet and it’s annoying to have it used without my permission. I ask my parents about it, and say I would have liked for them to ask first and they state:
Mum: “You must share your tablet”
Me: “I’m happy to do that but I would like to be asked beforehand so I can watch him”
Mum: “You’re being ridiculous, we bought it so we choose what to do with it.”
Me: “But thats not fair, it’s my tablet, so I choose of he can play on it”
Mum:”No, it’s to be shared, he will play on it if he wants”
This led to it being confiscated. I’ve already decided to change the password on it so only I can open the tablet.
Am I overreacting? Help me Reddit ###### | NTA. I think it's lovely that you're willing to share your tablet with your brother under supervision. Honestly, it *is* an expensive piece of tech, and toddlers can and do easily break things without meaning to.
But you're right. *You* saved up to buy something expensive and delicate. It's a lot of money at any age, but especially as a teenager, and something that will cost a lot to repair or replace should it be damaged. Not to mention how genuinely distressing it can be when something you saved up for breaks. You shouldn't be obligated to share your property. Again, I think it's lovely that you willingly do so, but you should be asked every single time.
I'd definitely change the passwords (you're entitled to your privacy), and calmly explain that you're happy to let your baby brother use the tablet as long as you're aware of the fact and you're able to supervise ###### |
AITA? My Niece, 9, is addicted to her smart phone. Everyday whenever I see her, she is I glued to it (tiktok and games) for hours.
We are very close, she lives next door, and we do a ton of stuff together (kayaking, Minecraft). We are good friends, and I try to be the cool uncle but I often take a father role as well, as hers sadly is a pos that has 0 to do with her life.
Today, was the same of her hiding inside on her phone while everyone else is outside. I asked my sister if she wants me to set a screen time limit. She said yes, and told me 3 hours. I did.
My Niece is upset at this and is pouting in silence.
I tell her it’s no big deal, 3 hours is plenty of time, and it means more time for fun and doing real stuff. She then gives me the nastiest glare I’ve ever seen from her and lunges her head forward almost threatening.
At this moment, I took her phone and said, “excuse me? I don’t think so. Maybe you need this taken away for awhile.”
Well then she immediately bursts into tears and my grandmother says to me “you’re a bully”.
She admittedly did not see the glare. My sister who also did not see it piles on, and consoles her daughter while telling me I’m out of line.
For clarity I pay for and supply the phone.
I then tell them they are reinforcing negative behavior, undermining me and that taking away a phone is not cruel. Well I died on that hill, and I’m still pulling of chunks of tar and feathers. AITA? ###### | NTA. I think especially at a young age of 9, there should be limits. In my eyes, it's good to prevent a reliance of entertainment on devices! It's hard to get away from an addicting thing like the media, but it's really needed especially at a point like that.
I bet she's got a lot of creativity down there if she can get past only being on a phone.
Just need to make sure you give her the reasons why after that when you're both in a calm mood. ###### |
My cousin is being confirmed next year, and she's talking about a sponsor now, as is required in Catholic Confirmation. My aunt has told me that she's actually talking about me. She thinks I'm really cool (I know that) and knows that I'm way more of a practicing Christian than most of the cousins in our family. However I'm not Catholic anymore. I left almost as soon after I was confirmed and I go to a liberal church now. So I actually don't meet the requirement that the sponsor be a Catholic.
I told this to my parents, and they said that's not really a big deal: since I as confirmed I'm still eligible, the church doesn't know that I left or that I go to a different one now or that I haven't been to a Catholic Mass in about 5 years. While that is true, I don't feel comfortable lying about that, or that I'd have to state things agreeing to support my cousin as Catholic, because frankly I won't, if she ever asks me about anything of the nature I'd also encourage her to leave the church and join a different one. My family is seeing this more as a generic rite of passage thing than a religious thing as I do. My mom also thinks it's not a big deal because I'm still Christian, I said that doesn't matter to the Catholic church's rules, but she thinks that can be just overlooked. She asked if I would be the sponsor if it was in a different church and I said yes. So she thinks I'm being unreasonable and discriminatory and that I should just support my cousin. The reason though is that most other churches don't require the sponsor to be that specific denomination. I feel like I'd be lying and taking a vow to things I don't agree or support if I did so. It's not a slight to my cousin, that's not why.
So am I being unreasonable? ###### | NTA. I think an important distinction to make to your mom is that you aren’t being discriminatory, you’re actually being quite respectful. Your family’s laissez-faire attitude about the rules of the Catholic Church might work for them, but that’s not how all Catholics feel.
I remember growing up, my cousin’s dad was Catholic and I went to church with them every other Sunday and they made me take Communion. In college, a class discussion about Catholicism came up, and people were upset *for* me and upset *with* my family — nonCatholics aren’t just supposed to take communion like that, and apparently it was pretty disrespectful to the whole faith. This feels a lot like that. ###### |
We need social work credits to continue our studies. I used to go to an autism centre every week to help around, and everything was ok until the pandemic started.
Having no way to access the usual centers, and school being online, the teacher that is in charge of the social work decided that instead of postponing some stuff, or even extending our second year’s social work a bit, we should all donate a pantry each.
And I know it could help a lot of people. 100 pantries are a nice help... but many people can’t even afford their own food, their families not having a job because of quarantine. It doesn’t affect me as much, but it’s still quite a lot of money that is going out of my wallet, money which I could really use this quarantine.
They didn’t even consider other options for a second. They just stated that we had to do it, and if we don’t, good luck working for the school if you want to graduate.
Oh, also? It isn’t even as if they made the announcement and gave us some time to sort things out. They simply dropped in, told us to go to school to give the pantries on Monday, and it’s been complete radio silence since then. ###### | NTA. I suggest that you speak to the principal about this. Some of the students' families may be using food banks themselves. Talk about socially inept, what a teacher! ###### |
Fiancée has had an eating disorder for a looooong time (more than half her life) but recovered and has been doing amazing for about a year now. This is the longest she has ever been okay for.
Recently she’s been falling into old behaviours and started eating less. A lot less. She’ll fill her bowl 3/4 of the way and leave about half of her food untouched.
She’s drinking a lot of sugar free sodas and energy drinks because they make her feel full and keeps the hunger away.
She doesn’t want to eat after 7pm which is an old resurfaced behaviour as we usually have dinner around 8pm.
Yesterday she admitted she was starving at around 10pm but didn’t want to eat because it was after 7pm.
One of her accounts is one I set up and connected to an email we both have access to as she doesn’t have access to her old accounts and asked me to set it up. I think she’s forgotten by now about the connection because this morning I got an email saying “congratulations on your new weight goal” from a fitness app.
The “goal” would put her BMI at around around 16 which is obviously very low but not critical. Not yet.
She has a habit of falling and falling hard because then she reached that and she’s technically fine so wants to go lower and lower and lower.
Last relapsed ended her in the ICU.
We have an agreement that I don’t comment on her food because it makes her worse and worsens her relationship with food.
She made me promise that if she ever reaches a very specific weight to call professionals in to help her.
Would I be the asshole for actually doing that if she gets to that weight? I can monitor her weight which she agreed on when we set it up but I believe she has since forgotten about. ###### | NTA. I suggest calling professionals well before she reaches that weight. You've already noticed a bunch of signs, there is no need to wait for her be to a particular weight or BMI.
Eating disorder sufferers have this twisted idea that they can't get help until they are at a low enough weight because until that point, they think they "aren't sick enough to need help".
ED's can take twice the amount of time to recover as what the person actually experienced the Ed. Meaning if you had an Ed for 5yrs, you could still see someone struggling even 10yrs after beginning recovery. Recovery isn't just a quick thing. It's a life time of caring for yourself and making sure you keep yourself safe. She isn't keeping herself safe. It's up to you to help her. ###### |
Throwaway account. My 14yr old sister still uses a pacifier nightly. My mother has never taken it away from her. When my sister was in kindergarten my mom asked her uncle who “was a doctor” when will she get rid of it, because apparently my mom could not be bothered with that task, and he told her that she will grow out of it on her own. To this day my mom says “he lied to me” to place blame.
I am in my thirties and do not live with them. I have a very close relationship with my sister but she will not listen to me when I talk about how it needs to go. I do not believe it to be my sisters fault, i think it’s my moms fault for not doing it herself. I asked my mom about it A couple times and she just says it was too difficult listening to my sister cry. Which I call bs on.
I only want what’s best for my sister as she already has had consequences from using it for so long. I don’t mean to pressure her so much but I just cannot for the life of me figure out why my mom thinks this is ok. My sister understands the issue but I think at this point the only way she will let it go is if someone takes it away.
So, AITA or is my mom TA? Do you have any advice on this? My mom won’t do anything in regards to getting rid of it and I cannot convince her.
EDIT: she is going to need braces now because of this, it has created a gap longwise in her mouth. Also, the pacifier does not get changed regularly. My sister does wash it regularly than goodness but has probably had her current one for a few years.
EDIT: my sister and I are best friends. I would do absolutely anything for that kid. We have the exact same sense of humor and can talk about anything. I am never pressuring her rudely. ###### | NTA. I sucked my thumb until I was about her age and it really did a number on my teeth. Like the amount of dental work I’ve had done is ridiculous and it was often painful. However, I honestly I think by 14 you’ve largely missed the boat on stopping her yourself. It’s a comfort thing, I doubt she’s crying over it, but it is genuinely difficult to stop. I only stopped after I had braces as I knew I didn’t want to go through all the issues I had with my teeth again.
So, no you’re not an asshole, but I think it’s a little too late and you need to let her figure out how to stop on her own. All you can really do is inform her of the possible consequences of continuing. ###### |
My GFs family is pretty "high class" or whatever you want to call it, they're basically the opposite of my family in many ways both financially and socially. My mum smokes and drinks a lot and is a single mother who has been married twice, while my GFs mum is the opposite. My mum and my family are not educated and most of them have not gone to university but my GFs family are all educated and really value education which my GF does as well. They're just more "well off" if you can say so and compared to my girlfriend I feel a bit stupid in many ways because she literally knows everything and can hold a conversation about anything while I'm just a simple car guy who is a welder.
So yesterday we were talking about the future and she just popped up "when will you get an education? I mean you can't be a welder forever can you"? I told her I don't know... i might go into a specialised field or something which requires education but then she said "it's still not very academic" She joked about how our kids will have one dad who works as a welder and a mum who works in something that is seen as "better". She was being very sarcastic about it and tried to make it seem as if it was not a mean thing to say. She went on and said "if you don't get an education then our kids will probably do the same, they probably want to be welders as well etc" she has previously "talked bad" about people who work in physical field where your body is required and she says that those people are stupid.
She has previously pointed out some things I do and joked about how "white trash" it is such as me smoking weed or liking cars. I have had a long day so I snapped at her and called her a "pretentious bitch". In return I was called an asshole and that she was only trying to help me but she was so rude about it. She is not talking to me right now.
AITA? ###### | NTA. I say this as a high school teacher -- not everybody needs to go to college. I'm not saying they aren't capable or don't deserve the chance if that's what they want. What I mean is, we have this glorified view of degrees, and while in some fields they are certainly valuable and necessary, in other fields they really aren't.
I have a master's degree, but I don't know how to weld. You HAVE an education; it simply isn't in academia. That does not make it less valuable, and it does not make you a lesser member of society. I can't condone partners calling each other names, but she does have a pretentious attitude about this and is clearly disrespecting you. Nobody deserves that from their partner. ###### |
where im from,the wifi is generally trash. to get the good wifi,you need to pay more. my family decided to get the better one,which is still pretty bad,because we live outside the city.we moved here 2 years ago when our house was finished.our neighbors are really nice,as they let us use their electricity when we were constructing our house.we share the gas to,but the bill is shared.i should mention that when they need the gas,they shut OUR gas down so they get more gas.other than that,theyre cool i guess.about two weeks ago,they asked one of my sisters if they could get the password for the wifi,because their wifi is down.sis didnt reply and kept the other convo going,whatever it was (i wasnt there).the neighbors girl asked again,and being the non confrontational weirdo that my sister is,she gave them the password. now,i wouldnt really mind if it was one person using it,but their whole SEVEN person family is using it,which really kills the speed for us.i recently downloaded brawlhalla,and i cant even play it.i get like 100-200 kbps,which really doesnt help me play.i've considered changing the password but my sister and mother think i shouldnt,as theyre "helping us by sharing the gas".
WIBTA if i change the password for my wifi which i pay for so i can play games ###### | NTA. I saw in the comments that you were the one paying for the wifi. If that's the case then you are absolutely in the right to change the password.
This is actual hilarious as I was in this same predicament a few years ago. I had online classes but due to my neighbors entire family being connected to the wifi as well, the internet would run really slow which was hampering my school work. I ended up offering to take over the internet bill (my mom was paying it before. It was supposed to be used by my 2 sisters and I for school work but we were all experiencing this same situation). Immediately after taking over the bill I changed the password. Nobody else knew it and I would be the one to input the password into their devices so there would be no chance of them sharing it to anyone else.
This may be a bit extreme but our neighbors were actually our uncle and his family which is why my mom had felt the need to give them the password. I however did not feel the same as I considered my uncle to be a freeloader. ###### |
I(20f) have been using this system since I was 18. I google pictures of penises and just send them one back.
Ignoring means they think they can escalate it to things like soft porn, or begging me for my nudes cause they sent one first so it's only fair.
Blocking has often resulted in them making new accounts to send me dick pics on or finding me on other social media.
This is the only what I have found that works to make them stop. I feel bad for it, but I can't think of anything else to do. ###### | NTA. I read a story once where she would look up their info and send screenshots to their mothers. 🤔 ###### |
I’m pretty sure I am in the right because my intention is solely to keep her healthy...but I feel terrible about it sometimes.
My grandma is 72 with Alzheimer’s. She does not understand that Advil, Motrin, Bayer, etc...are all essentially the same thing. She will take a couple Motrin for her headache, then 30 min later take Advil for her back pain. Sometimes she will forget when she took them and take them too close together.
This only came to my attention when she had stomach pain and was then diagnosed with gastritis, and me being home all day due to the shutdown. So I told her I’m hiding all those pills because she abuses them and everyday she comes to me asking for more for some new pain she has.
I ask now because I just found like 15 pills god around the house.
Am I being the asshole by not giving her access to subdue her pains? ###### | NTA. I only worked with dementia patients for a short time, but came to understand that they don't always know if they are in pain. We had a lady that always told us her leg was sore and we couldn't touch it during personal care; not to say she wasn't in pain but long story short, the doctor who her daughter discussed a poss hip replacement basically said those with dementia might just be saying it because they remember it being sore at one point - if that makes sense?
Maybe you could make a chart with the meds and times with grandma? Explain to her that whenever she has a pill for pain (maybe list them?) you'll mark it off and make sure she does it with you. You may have to repeat yourself each time but it may be a way of reducing her intake further and you could even just keep only one brand, and tell her they're different? I'm not sure what they are exactly as I'm UK ... because she could also remember you're keeping them from her and she may start accusing you of stealing them and other things, you're abusing her, you don't care etc...
These are only based on examples I have learned over the years from friend with relatives who have this awful disease, and I'm aware it varies wildly from person to person.
Speak to her doctor too before you do anything else.
I hope you get this sorted and that you and your Grandma are otherwise safe and well x ###### |
Basically I recently moved to America from Ireland in the last few months working in an IT. Now despite always finding Americans who say they're Irish or "plastic paddies" as we call them back in Ireland annoying, I knew when people say that in America, they just mean their heritage so "when in Rome, do as Romans do". So on occasion, when I tell people i'm Irish, i'd get the odd American saying "Oh cool i'm Irish too cause my great great great granddaddy was from Ireland" followed by cringey questions like "did you know we Irish were slaves too?" I'd let this slide, smile and nod and just to try to change the subject as soon as possible.
Now in the IT where I work, there's this woman (lets call her Julie) who claims to be Irish because of a grandparent I think and she was basically the plastic paddy stereotype e.g. "I have an Irish temper" and "I had too many Irish car bombs last night". Once again, I let it go because when in Rome. Then one day during a group meeting, when people asked me what its like in Ireland, she kept interrupting me and basically took over the conversation about what its like in Ireland despite admitting to never being. It got to the point where I was becoming visibly irritated but once again said nothing because when in Rome. Then when she went to the bathroom, people started laughing saying "you looked so annoyed there" and I made one comment saying to them "just because your great great grandfather once had a Guinness in Cork doesn't make you Irish" which all but one woman laughed at. That one woman turned out to be one of her closest friends.
Then Julie confronted me about mocking her because obviously her friend grassed. I then just told her straight up she's not Irish and to not speak over me when it comes to experiences in Ireland, and to "stay in your lane". She then went off in a huff and hasn't talked to me since. AITA? ###### | NTA. I once had an Irish-American woman have a whole blow up row with me for calling the language Irish instead of Gaelic. The fact that I live in Ireland and have spoken Irish since I was 4 did nothing to dissuade her. It's incredible draining ###### |
First-time poster, long-time lurker.
For some context, I have a Dog and Two Cats, all of whom I love, and about a year ago, I started dating this woman who knew about my pets and how devoted I am to them beforehand. When this all started, we decided to isolate together, since we both work from home. This happened about five days ago.
My Girlfriend asked me to sit down so we could have a talk. I obliged, thinking the worst, and listened as she proceeded to launch into a rant about how she couldn't take living with animals anymore. The litter box smelled, the dog food smelled, the animals were annoying, ect. Everything under the sun was apparently a problem of epic proportions, and she couldn't handle having to live with them any longer.
At first, I thought she wanted to go back to her own house, but I was deadly mistaken. Instead, she told me that I had to make a choice - I could either have her and get rid of the animals, or never see her again and keep the pets.
I chose the pets. She left shortly afterwards.
Was I a jerk to choose them over her? Could we have worked something out? Her sister called a while later and called me an a##hole, and I just want opinions that are unbiased. ###### | NTA. I mean, what would happen if you got rid of your pets and you two broke up afterwards? Sounds to me like she didn't think living with animals would be as different or as cool as she thought... That or the novelty ran out so she wanted you to make her more comfortable. ###### |
AITA - I live in a rental house that the owners used to live in before moving so it's pretty nice. There is an in-ground pool that has a heat function, but because of electricity cost my roommate and I rarely use it. I normally swim year around at my gym, but due to the current situation I have started swimming at home using the heat pump. When I told my roommate that I wanted to start using the heat pump he complained about cost and I agreed to pay for any increases to the electrical bill (based on the average of this month last year). Since then he has been swimming every day. I told him if he was going to swim then we needed to split the bill evenly. He refused saying that whether he swims or not I would be using the pump and heating the pool and that I agreed to pay for it. I think if he's getting benefit from it, he should contribute. I'm tempted to just turn the heat off, but swimming is such a good low-impact exercise that I've relied on since injuring my knee last year. ###### | NTA. I mean, practically speaking, i'm not sure exactly what your options are, but he should definitely be paying if he wants to benefit from it. Your housemate is a huge asshole. ###### |
So my dad started a small business, and it grew to be pretty big. We have a few locations in our area. I’m going to be pretty vague about it for anonymity.
He and I always worked together on it, when I was little he would teach me about it, and in high school I helped work there, and I worked there throughout my 20s. He transferred ownership to me a few years ago because he was diagnosed with cancer, and couldn’t take the stress of running it full time, but he really still helped make all the big decisions.
He passed a few months ago, and I’ve recently gotten a call from my sister, who I haven’t talked to in a long time(probably 5 years now?). She never showed any interest in the business when she was young, and then after college moved away and hardly even called my parents. She’s lost her job and wants to work for me because it’s the “last memory of our dad”. I think she’s bullshitting and just wants a job where she’s not going to get fired because it’s family.
I told her no, and if she had any interest in it she would have shown it in the time our dad was still alive. My mom is telling me I should at least let her try to show she cares, but I don’t think I have any obligation to someone who left without so much as a visit to our dying dad, who now just wants the rewards for what we worked on.
AITA? ###### | NTA. I mean, its your business, you can hire whoever you want.
While it'd be nice if you could hook her up with a job, you are under no obligation to do so. ###### |
(TW: miscarriage) This is my third pregnancy. Multiples run very strongly in my family so I always knew there was the potential for more than one. I was shocked though when my first ultrasound revealed triplets. I wasn’t exactly thrilled as this was to be our last baby and I was going for three kids not five but I came around to the idea. However at the next ultrasound we lost two of the three triplets. Neither my SO or I were really that sad. We still had one baby, it was still very early and we both know if you miscarry there is a reason those babies were not compatible with life so we kinda just moved on. However when it came up with different family members and friends they are absolutely appalled that we are not spiraling into depression. They think it is so weird and AHish that we “don’t care”. We just figured it’s how it was meant to be and there’s nothing we could have done anyways. So AITA? ###### | NTA. I mean, it's not like you really had the time to get attached to them, plus everyone processes loss differently. I can think of a lot more jerkish behavior than moving on from something you couldn't do anything about. ###### |
I’m a 22 year old girl and a couple days ago my bfs cousin who’s 6 had a birthday party. It was hot so I came in a tank and short jean shorts. When I got there my bf told me he wanted to me to go home and change he thought my outfit was inappropriate for a children’s party. I didn’t believe it was at all. I got pretty angry with him and instead I just left and stayed home. He told me I blew it out of proportion and easily could’ve just changed. Now I’m just sitting here wondering if I handled it the right way or if I should’ve done anything different. AITA? ###### | NTA. I mean, I doubt you're super close to your boyfriend's 6 year old cousin, so it's not like your absence ruined the party for the kid or anything. Also, does he let you pick his outfits for him? No? Then I don't see what right he has to tell you what to wear. ###### |
My mom was raised in Kashmir. Muslims took over the territory, burned down her house, killed her dad, and they fled to India in the middle of the night. My entire family hateeees Muslims because of this.
So they’re super islamophobic. But also my mom was once robbed by a black person, so she also uses that to say she hates black people.
She says it’s normal. She went through a trauma, and now because of past events she knows to avoid these groups of people.
Well, my friend was attacked by a Poodle. She know says she hates poodles, wants nothing to do with the breed, and now avoids them when she’s out about about.
My mom was like, “Eh, that’s unfair. Any dog can bite. Why hold a grudge against poodles, in general? Just hate the poodle that did the attacking.”
And I was like, “You’re joking, right? That’s so hypocritical. You talk about how you don’t like certain groups of people all the time. It’s the same logic. Why hold a grudge against a whole group of people? Just hate that person.”
She was like, “It’s not the same at all. Poodles aren’t any more likely to attack you than say a Golden Retriever. It’s about the individual.”
I was like, “???? Uh, same for black people. Muslim people. It’s about the individual.”
She was like, “How are you comparing races of people to dog breeds? Not the same. Shut up, you sound dumb.”
But it’s the same logic, right? Literally the same. You’re saying group X is bad, and I hate all of them because of a past experience.
So, who is right here? Is it hypocritical? Obviously my mom is an asshole for being racist, but I’m talking specifically in this argument, is she wrong?
On a side note, there are some dogs that are more dog-aggressive etc because they have been bred to be like that. But we aren’t talking about those breeds. A poodle isn’t anymore likely to attack someone than, like, a Lab or whatever. ###### | NTA. I love this analogy. Sounds like she hasn't worked through her trauma enough to accept that she's wrong. Serious kudos to you for not accepting the racism you were raised in. ###### |
My family owns a successful property development firm. I reluctantly took a position with them because my father wants to take a less active role and my younger brothers aren't ready. While I work with my brothers and fathers, everyone is treated equally and it is very harmonious.
Lately, my SIL has been bouncing ideas off us and showing up to "help out" I'm not okay with either of that. I sarcastically asked my brother if she was looking for a job and he said she wasn't because she was happy being a SAHM. I told him that was good because no one's spouse is going to work here. That will bring too much drama. Then I told him she needs to stop hanging out like she has nothing better to do as he's no different than any other employee.
Not only does she float around but she's helping him his admin work even though we already have paid people to do that and now she's questioning business moves or offering her own. This has gone beyond a spouse showing up to go out to lunch but my brother disagrees.
I finally emailed her on my own and told her that this wasn't her business, she knows nothing about it and her ideas and showing up to help my brother was not wanted. This wasn't a family-issue. This was a business issue. I told her she's his wife, but in no way a member, stakeholder or employee.
Of course she cried to my brother that I "attacked" her when she was trying to be helpful and he has heat with me. ###### | NTA. I love people who think that because this is a family business she needs to be able to give an opinion. You already spoke to your brother but he most likely either ignored you or his wife ignored him. Or he did not get what you were saying.
Either way she can’t show up and “help”. Either she works here or she does not. She is disrupting the office ###### |
Me and my roommates just moved into a new place. We are musical people and people give away old pianos for free all the time on FB marketplace and apps like Letgo. We found one we liked and enlisted the help of a friend with a truck to go pick it up. I asked the person on the app if 1pm was okay to pick it up and she said yes and said her house was located across from a post office in a specific town and that she'd give me the address when I was getting close. No biggie, logical enough.
As we got closer I messaged several times to try and get the address. No response. We get to the post office and wait a while for a response but dont get one. We knock on some doors of the houses across the street and ask if they knew the person on the app but no one did. We waited almost an hour. The app gives a general location of the seller, which was about a mile from where the post office was, so we drive that direction and miraculously we see the piano from the street in the garage if a house. We pull into the driveway and I go knock on the door, but the house seems abandoned.
The neighbors approach and we say are there to pick up the piano and they say to go ahead and watch as we put it in the truck. We go home, with the piano, get it in the house and settle in. The seller messages me on Letgo at 6pm absolutely furious that we took it. 5 hours after the agreed upon time, for a free item you could see from the road. She was not happy we found the address without her giving it to us proclaiming we could have taken anything even after I explained that her neighbors were there and we wouldnt have taken it if no one was there. ###### | NTA. I likely would have done the same thing. It was logically presumed that you could grab the piano. Besides, pianos aren't just sitting outside of houses on a regular day. Why were they furious? But if it came down to a legal matter, I think you'd likely lose. ###### |
This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and I'm still pissed from work. I'm a girl.
My new job is a very labor intensive job, moving heavy objects, pushing carts, packing shipping boxes. It's summer in the south on top of that, so it's hell hot. So of course I'm sweating with all the manual labor and the lack of ventilation in a metal sweatshop for 8+ hours a day.
I have a 'normal' type of deodorant, a 24 hours active sense one. Though, due to circumstances I can't get to the store and I ran out. I have a backup, a men's old spice one, I bought it because I like the smell. Very pine woodsy. It's a good cover all, and no matter how much I swear it works wherever my normal one I use when I know I am not going to be sweating alot, because I don't want to force people to smell my body odor of onion bagels.
So because of how much I sweat, I've been using the old spice one. No more B.O! Everything was fine, my male co-workers, I work with mostly teenage boys, never noticed. Until today where do to an absence in the second shift I got to work in the less labor intensive area.
Today I sat down with the girls to unwrap CDs , and one of them commented how it smells like a guys here.
Me: oh yeah, I used old spice. I'd rather you not smell me, lol.
This girl, we'll call her Anna, freaked the fuck out. A few seemed bothered and one of them told me it reminds her of her dad.
Things were said such as 'its unnatural, there's perfectly good girls deodorant!" And " are you gay?" And basically how I was a bitch because normal girls use floral deodorant and things designed for women and men had their own things made for them.
To me, it's fucking deodorant. I've know a few girls to do use ax, so why is this a thing? Still, I can't help but wonder if I'm a minority here.
AITA for using the 'wrong' deodorant? ###### | NTA. I laughed at “it’s unnatural”. You know what is actually natural? Being sweaty and stinky because you don’t use deodorant at all.
I swear they put something in men’s deodorant that is stronger than women’s. ###### |
So my little sister is 7 and has a mild form of autism which makes her maturity level about a year or 2 behind where she is supposed to be. I usually tuck her in for bed most nights cause she doesn’t really like my mom or dad doing it.
I do food delivery as a job right now, and I was working a lot lik from 8-8. When I got home my sister was already in bed (her bedtime is 8:00 on school nights 8:30 on weekends) and I got home around 9 so she was asleep.
My mom told me that she was pissy when growing to bed cause I didn’t tuck her in, and my mom said I should have scheduled my hours earlier to be home.
Am I the Asshole? ###### | NTA. I know it could be difficult for your sister to be tucked in by different people, but since she was able to fall asleep soon after it, it doesn't look like it was much of a problem. Some parents would be proud of you for working hard, good job! ###### |
So, my (23f) sisters (22f, 20f, 18f) are all home from college right now. So there are a lot of girls in the house and a lot of periods. I mostly use cloth pads, but when I have to use a disposable (mainly if I'm traveling or out of the house for a whole day, I hate carrying used pads in my purse) I have to use an expensive natural brand (7th Generation) because I have sensitive skin. If I try to use Always or store brands... it's not good. My sisters keep taking my expensive pads. I've asked them nicely 1-3 times each to please not take my pads. They said okay, sorry and continued to take them. So today when I was at the dollar store for groceries I went ahead and picked up some of the cheapest pads. 10 for a buck. These are one of the few cheap brands I can use and they work just fine, they are just bulky so I would rather not. I went ahead and hid my pads in my room. I put the pads in a basket that said "PADS FOR MOOCHERS". When my middle sister saw it she got mad. She said the sign was insulting and the pads I got were "horrific garbage". My other sisters and mom agreed. They want me to put my pads back in the bathroom because I "don't use them that much anyway". I said sure if they chip in for the cost but they said no because their student jobs closed down when the colleges did. So for some reason I should have to pay for their pads even though my job is closed too. I do have some savings but my parents were able to keep working from home and would gladly give them a bit of spending money if they asked nicely. I think maybe I should have just put the pads out without a sign but was I really the asshole here? ###### | NTA. I know from experience that 7th Generation is pricey. My mother is literally allergic to most pads (and sadly, 7th Gen doesn't pass the mark because I think it uses wood instead, and she's allergic to pine), and I just finished my period and have a rash myself.
If I were you, I'd keep your 7th Gen pads in your dresser or somewhere not in the bathroom. It isn't an adequate solution, but clearly your other period-having family members are not willing to conform for your needs. ###### |
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