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I am a (16f) and I work part time at Walmart to save up money for college. My parents aren’t very well off and haven’t saved any money for my education. I don’t blame them for this but it’s also been stressing me out, which is why I wanted to get a job.
My grandma lives in England and came to my house to visit more than a month ago. My mom has been begging me to give my grandma $500 because I am the first of her grandchildren to get a job and it would be a special gift. My mom also thinks that I should give her this money to show appreciation to her because my grandma has sent me money in the past. However, that was only once and my mom made me lie to my grandma and say I received the money even though my mom used it all. My mom has also been taking my money for other things and calling me selfish and ungrateful if I object.
This really bothers me because I am trying to save up money for college because my parents never did. It feels as though if my parents cared about my future they would leave my money alone and see that I am trying to better myself. I think it’s also important to mention that my grandma and I have absolutely no relationship due to distance.
I feel really bad and guilty because it’s always been ingrained in me that you’re supposed to give up anything for family and you’re not supposed to disrespect your elders. Am I the asshole for not wanting to give up a piece of my college money for my grandma? ###### | NTA. Make sure no one else has access to your accounts and keep saving. No one is ever entitled to something you earned. Don't feel bad or guilty, you're doing something that will help your future and you should be really proud of that. ###### |
A coworker committed insurance fraud and bragged through the office about it. We work for the insurance company. There is an investigation into her conduct. She is saying that we all knew about it and we are just as guilty so we should all be fired too. AITA for telling the investigators all the info they need like when she claimed and how. It was for a mobile phone. She said she left it on the top of her car then drove off. But her husband was still using the phone until the day the replacement arrived and then he sold it to a friend. So they got a new phone, and money for the old one. It was only about $900 but it's still fraud. And she still wanders around the office like she didn't do anything wrong. She is work friend but I would rather have my job than her in my life. AITA?? ###### | NTA. Lying to the investigators, now that would make you an asshole for sure. ###### |
I (21f) work at a store with a lot of vendors who bring in their own product. A lot of these vendors are white men in their 60s+, who borderline sexually harass me and the other female staff, are racist, homophobic, rude to service staff, pretty much every negative white conservative baby boomer thing you can think of. They will sit in the store and talk loudly about pro gun rights the day after mass shootings, and pin blame on other races. Ex) “its usually the muslims who do the shooting”
They aren’t even supposed to stay in the store. We sell their product for them, all they do is bring it in.
I’m pretty tired of the rude and condescending behaviour towards me, especially since I have been a supervisor for a year now and worked there for a few years. When they come to pick up their cheques, a lot of them will bark at me and interrupt me helping customers to demand their money, or not say anything but just rub their fingers together and stare at me. I’ve also gotten comments like “oh I looove being handed money from a woman” when I give it to them.
Now when vendors approach me impolitely, I’ve gotten in the habit of saying “what’s the magic word?” and smiling while I hold their cheque. I make eye contact and patiently wait for them to say “please” before I give it to them. It puts them on the spot for being rude, but its also extra and unnecessary. Although there’s nothing else I can do about their inappropriate behaviour. AITA? ###### | NTA. lol ###### |
It's not a big deal at all and it has been resolved since but it left me unsure if I'm in the wrong.
My girlfriend and I both had our own Spotify premium accounts to begin with, but at one point she decided she didn't want to pay for it anymore, even though she listens to music a lot.
I felt bad for her, as free Spotify has these annoying ads every so many songs.
Therefore, I gave her the login to my account, under the condition that she listens offline when I'm also using it. You can't have two people online on the same Spotify Premium account, unless you buy the family package (which I didn't have).
Now today she started saying how I should just go offline whenever she's listening, too.
By going offline though, I can't go on social media either while listening to music, as you have to turn both your wifi and data off for Spotify to see you as 'offline'. My gf on the other hand also has an iPad that she could just use to listen to music offline on while still using her phone.
So, I told her no. I'm not going to have the discomfort of not being able to use my phone for other stuff while listening to music on my account that I pay for.
Am I the asshole for that? ###### | NTA. lol sometimes I’m amazed by some of the situations posted on here. Only way she can have that leverage is if you both split the monthly payment...but then by then why cant she just pay for a new account? Also, not to mention when she uses your account it kind of messes up the algorithm spotify uses to find music you like. This is a $10 dollar/month problem. ###### |
On Sunday my sister and I both FaceTimed our mom for Mother’s Day. We talked for about an hour, and in the middle of it I asked my fiancé to grab me a drink when he went into the kitchen. I said something like “peanut, can you get me a drink”. Now I realize that calling my fiancé peanut is a little silly and weird but I like it and he likes it so I don’t see a problem. It comes from when we were first dating and he tried to get some peanuts off the top shelf and ripped the bag and spilled them all over his head. I called him peanut for a few days as a joke and it just sort of stuck.
Anyway my sister got all upset and started saying how it was rude to call him that because she’s allergic to peanuts. It pretty much ruined the rest of the call because I wouldn’t apologize for calling my fiancé a nickname and she was upset the whole time.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Lmao.
I'm allergic to seafood, but I don't get all crabby when it's mentioned. ###### |
I work in the food industry, and today at my job something interesting happened.
A lady walked in with a little girl, and asked my boss in Spanish, “does anyone here speak Spanish?”. To which i respond in Spanish “yes i do, how can i help you?”
We get her order, she pays then leaves.
After she leaves, my boss comes up to me and says, “we don’t speak Spanish at ____(food industry name). The lady obviously spoke English if she came with her daughter who was born here. She was just being lazy. Even if she didn’t speak English, we could’ve figured something out, we don’t need to be speaking Spanish to our customers”.
And I’m just like “?” I’m respectful to authority so i just told him okay, it won’t happen again. During the moment i was so confused, like, i thought i was helping HIS customers.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Lmao “we could’ve figured something out.” Yeah, maybe speaking Spanish ###### |
My birthday was last week, and yesterday a package arrived at my door, and it was lingerie. It had a note in it that said happy birthday ~friend. I have never mentioned wanting lingerie to him. I haven’t talked about underwear or sex at all with him. I just play video games and D&D with him. I thought it was weird as hell and kind of creepy to order me lingerie. If my husband got me lingerie, okay a little self serving but I wouldn’t mind that much. A friend? Weird.
Anyway I messaged him that it was weird and I would appreciate if he didn’t do anything like that in the future, and he got all defensive and started saying stuff about how he thought I would like it and that he put a lot of effort into it. I told him I would prefer nothing over this kind of gift, so in the future just get me something generic if he wants to get me a present. He blew up at me and blocked me.
I’ve known the guy 10 years, he’s never made a pass at me, always been a pretty normal guy, was I too harsh here? Because otherwise I don’t know what got into him. ###### | NTA. Lingerie is sexual. It was SUPER inappropriate of him and you’re right for telling him off ###### |
I have two daughters 9F and 7F.
My youngest has always been my family’s favourite, especially her fathers favourite because she’s more outgoing and confident, she loves climbing and football.
My eldest is more cautious and anxious, she isn’t as confident as her sister but that’s okay and I’m always telling her people learn in their own speed and have different personalities and skills.
It’s not a secret that my ex prefers our youngest; she looks like him more, she’s got blonde hair like he does and blue eyes and tans easily whilst our eldest looks like me with her ginger hair and dark eyes, he also claims our youngest has more personality.
My eldest has taken to trying to copy her younger sister, my ex believes it’s because she wants her younger sister to look up to her but I think it’s because her younger sister gets more attention.
My daughters spent the weekend with their dad and his girlfriend when he texted me saying my eldest is grounded because she wouldn’t stop crying and screaming at her stepmother.
This isn’t like my eldest so I asked why? Turns out she called my eldest a baby because she couldn’t do something her sister could do and was crying, if there’s something my eldest hates it’s being called baby, they know this!
Well ex’s girlfriend posted saying something like “When your eldest daughter throws a tantrum and you know they get it off their bio mother coddling them 😒😹”
I responded saying that she wouldn’t have cried had they not belittled her and put her sister on a peddlestall.
My ex texted me calling me an asshole for embarrassing his girlfriend and didn’t pick the kids up this weekend.
My mother thinks I should’ve bit my tongue and that I was an AH here too.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Like you said, kids all learn at their own pace. My 5 year old struggles with things my 4 year old does with ease, and vice versa.
Your ex's girlfriend shouldn't have belittled her like that, or taken to social media to voice her opinion *on a child*. Asshole. That's a no brainer.
Your ex shouldn't have let it happen, should have told his girlfriend off for speaking to his daughter like that, should have dragged her over the coals for posting on social media about it, and also shouldn't have essentially punished his kids by not seeing them. Asshole. He could have prevented a lot of this. ###### |
Throwaway for reasons.
My husband told me recently he wants to send money to his mother every month because she's not in good shape financially.
Thing is, this is entirely my MIL's fault, and entirely avoidable. She has unhealthy spending habits (she blew most of her savings on clothes and makeup because she didn't have as much success dating as she thought she should) and no impulse control. Her house is literally *full* of unopened kitchen appliances, training equipment that hasn't been used once, and piles of useless infomercial shit.
We lived with her for a time when our house was being renovated (which is the reason for my intense dislike but this is not a saga for this sub) and in that time she fell for two textbook scams and an MLM (that I know of). Each time we tried to warn her and each time she told us she knows better than us, she's older and we need to respect her.
In that time I found out that my husband started paying some of her CC bills without telling me. I was furious, chewed him out for hiding it from me and we moved out (yes, we paid our share of rent/bills).
So MIL is in financial trouble again and he wants to help out. I told him I will support him in getting her a carer of some sort or helping her set up a payment plan, but if he wants to give her money, it will come out of his fun/clothing/etc. budget but I will not agree to using our joint household funds. Now he's angry with me, says I don't care about his mother and want to punish him for being a good son.
AITA? ###### | Nta. Like you said she put herself in this position because she wanted to not because she’s disabled or sick. And I don’t blame you. I get he wants to be the “good son” but she’s not your financial responsibility. If he really wants to pay for all her things then let him. Just warn him that it better not affect what he contributes in your house and you don’t care if he has to get a second job just to afford your her lifestyle. Also make it clear that your not willing to have her live with you. ###### |
I had a heated argument with my mother about her lying.
She really likes to talk about me; especially if it's something that SHE thinks is correct, but is in fact a lie.
She thinks that she knows everything about me and that she can read my mind.
Especially in conversations with others where she would talk "for" me.
Today I told her that I really liked the one thing she brought with her about a week ago and wanted to ask her to buy it again sometime.
She looked at my dad and said: "Did you know that she ate it in one sitting?"
I was confused that she would lie about me.
Me: "That's not true."
She ignores me.
I say it again, loudly.
She still ignores me.
Me (yelling because I'm frustrated): "Why would you lie about me? It's not true! You're always doing this! Talking lies about me! Stop it already!"
Then she stormed out whilst saying: "You have cut my last nerve! Leave me in piece!"
I know that I overreacted, but I have tried talking to her so many times without results.
AITA here? ###### | NTA. Liars. I hate liars. The truth is the real source here. Liars will lead to be AH’s if they keep going. ###### |
For context: I am 16, mom is 49.
My mother’s grandfather passed away about a month ago. She was super close to him so it’s been really hard on her. She’s finding that she’s really sad (obviously) and having a hard time coping.
My mom usually doesn’t like materialistic gifts so I usually just write her a letter or a card or craft her something but I have a job as a tutor now so I wanted to buy her a little bit. I did write a card for her and got some other stuff but when I was browsing target I saw this thing called a “happy journal.” It basically consists of ideas to do for self care and happiness and a place to record her moods. I thought it was a thoughtful idea because she’s been sad lately and I wanted to acknowledge she was going through a tough time.
However, my friends told me it’s insensitive and I’m just marketing off of her sadness. I truly thought it was a good idea because she hasn’t been seeing her therapist due to quarantine and virtual therapy isn’t cutting it. I feel like a bad daughter and I’m hesitant to give it to her.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Let me tell you something, your friends don't know their assholes from their elbows. That is a very fantastic gift idea and very thoughtful. It shows you care, you listen and you understand. I would 100% give that gift to her and be proud doing it. Your friends need to find a new "cause" to jump on because this one isn't cutting it. ###### |
Like I said in the title she totaled my car during Christmas break she gave me some money for the car but I was able to buy a decent car with my insurance money, (5,000 for the new car). The new car that I bought, I drove that up until last week when the transmission failed and the cost to fix it would be more than the car was worth, so I said screw it and I leased a new 2020 Honda Civic so I would have a reliable car and she's upset because I won't let her drive it. And with this coronavirus going on it's fairly difficult because the bus only runs at certain times, we dont live by any family and most of our friends live in different towns so they cant pick her up. I offered to pay for her to get an Uber or asked her to try to get a ride from a coworker. I drive her into work at 7am on my way to work, but she gets out at 4pm , I usually and dont get out of work until 6 or 7. Am I the asshole in this situation? ###### | NTA. Let her be upset. Its a leased car. If she totals it again you are fucked badly. ###### |
To get right down to it, my family is descended from Robert E. Lee. We don’t have the last name anymore, but if you have kids, it’s just a given in my family that one of them has to have Lee incorporated in there somewhere. Every year in June we have the “Lee family reunion” that I personally haven’t attended for years. I’m a girl, but I’m the firstborn of my siblings so my first name has Lee in it. I now have two kids of my own, a two year old and a five month old. Both of them are boys, neither of them have Lee anywhere close to their name. I love my family, but to be honest several of them are insanely racist and I just made the decision that I didn’t want to carry on the name or have my kids be any part of their bullshit. Who cares about some dead guy who lost his fight anyways. I’m convinced no one in my family actually cares about the “heritage” or ol’ Rob himself at all, he just happens to be famous so my family is a slut for the name. Obviously it’s been a bit of a hot topic recently. We have a “Lee family reunion” Facebook page, and the elders have been a bit snippy about the name not being carried on lately. Apparently a lot of people think it’s a really big deal and that all the attention shouldn’t be focused on the actions, but the “family” and the “heritage”. AITA for not continuing the tradition? ###### | NTA. Lee was an enemy general. The rebellion lasted less time than How I Met Your Mother was on the air. This is not heritage, any more than the third reich is German heritage.
Not all history is heritage, heritage is what we choose to continue. Looks pretty obvious what morals they want to continue. ###### |
Last night I (24) did chores for my boyfriend (30). He was cleaning out pens and told me to leave when I was done with chores;after I finished I helped him move a feeder and said goodbye. He told me that he was going to come back to the apartment once he was done.
I woke up at 5 am and he wasn’t back yet. I texted me asking where he was and he said that was just got out of the ER. He flipped over the skid-steer. I first asked him if he was okay and than asked why he didn’t call or text me, or even his mother, and he said because I was sleeping.
I went to do chores at 5:30 and him and his mom just got back. He said I was making a big deal over him not letting me know about going to the ER. I said a simple “hey this happened but I am fine. I’ll call you when I leave” but I didn’t get anything.
Am I the asshole of being upset? Keep in mind he posted a Snapchat story about being in the ER before he told me. ###### | NTA. Last year in the winter my father, mother and I were in a different state for vacation, and during that time my grandmother fell and cracked her head open twice (the first time she actually declined medical treatment so that's why twice).
She was going to my house to feed the cats, and had lost the key in the midst of the accident. She actually had to call my great uncle, get him to get a locksmith to rip off the door lock, and get inside so the cats wouldn't starve.
​
Nobody told us for two days, until my dad called my great uncle to ask him to check on her because she wasn't answering. Apparently, they decided it was best not to say *anything*, because they wanted us to "enjoy our vacation".
​
I think it just made everything worse, because we spent like two days panicking and we almost called the police for a wellfare check. People need to communicate about stuff like that. ###### |
I'm a 13M I have a twin sister 13F (comes into context later) our mom had us when she was 15 years old and our dad was 17. My mom is now 28 and my dad is 30. When we were born our dad signed over all the the custody to our mom. When my dad turned 19 and we were 2 he was basically non existent in our lives. 2 days after our 9th birthday our grandma on our dads side contacts our mom begging to get to see us. So we go on a vist with our mom there and bam there is dad. From 9 to 11 was basically redo of a custody battle that was already over at birth. Now we are 13 our mom and dad hate each other but they try to get along for us and our dad takes us out to do stuff every Sunday. With lockdown happening that wasnt possible so we would face time and stuff. Today during the face time season he told us that he is going to get a tattoo on his left side that says "jazmin, jordi [last name here] 03 - 20 - 2007" now as much as I appreciate the sentiment I am extremely uncomfortable with this. But I also feel bad because he has been on record saying how much it hurts us we dont have his last name and he is getting our legal last names tattooed on him if he goes through with this. My father is in a lot better place then he was when we were 9. He has a steady job he can live off of and everything. I'm not saying he might regret it later. I just think it's a bad idea overall. Would I be the asshole if I bring that up? ###### | NTA. Kinda feels like your father is doing this as a form of penance for not being there, but if so, he really needs to be open to the fact that you might be uncomfortable with such a thing. Your relationship is still relatively new, and quite complicated; it's not a straight line to a normal parent-child situation and can't really be expected to be just yet. ###### |
Backstory: my older sister (40) is sick. Has been going blind. Not entirely sure what is wrong. This has been going on for about 6 months now. She has her good days and her bad days. However, her bad days are bad. Doesn’t want to get out of bed, headaches, worse vision, etc.
Now here is where my mom comes in. She is constantly texting/calling us (brother, other sister, and myself) to tell us my sister’s latest status. If we don’t show sympathy or call my sister within 24hrs, we get a group text saying how disappointed she is in us. At this point, I think we have all just gotten numb to her bad days knowing that it will get better in a day or two and she will be fine.
Today, sister texted the family chat saying that her vision has been the worst it’s been since Tuesday. Nobody said anything for 15 minutes. 15 mins is enough time for someone to be taking a shower, making dinner, having sex, whatever. Mom sends a text to me, other sister, and brother saying how disappointed she is in us (yet again) because we didn’t respond in 15 mins. So I absolutely lost my shit on her. I told her that we aren’t glued to our phones, have lives to attend to and that our lives don’t stop the second we get a text message. I told her that of course we feel bad for our older sister, but give us some fucking time to respond before guilting us into it and stop micromanaging our lives. It wasn’t like the family group text changed the subject after my oldest sister texted us. We all just were doing something else. And honestly did not see her text to respond in 15 god damn minutes.
So, AITA for telling my mom to chill the fuck out with the guilt trips? ###### | NTA. Kind of in the same situation but with a dialed back frequency. Once you hear someone is sick, they haven’t gotten better and it’s over the course of years, of course it’s sad and tough to hear, but you start to not get phased by it, and you don’t react. Your mom is treating sympathy like it’s a form of currency. All I can say is I’m there if they need anything. I’m not rich, I can’t offer anything of actual value monetarily. I would speak only with your sister and let he know you’re there for her and to just ignore mom. ###### |
I’m a 22 year old girl and a couple days ago my bfs cousin who’s 6 had a birthday party. It was hot so I came in a tank and short jean shorts. When I got there my bf told me he wanted to me to go home and change he thought my outfit was inappropriate for a children’s party. I didn’t believe it was at all. I got pretty angry with him and instead I just left and stayed home. He told me I blew it out of proportion and easily could’ve just changed. Now I’m just sitting here wondering if I handled it the right way or if I should’ve done anything different. AITA? ###### | NTA. Kids don't give any kind of a shit how we dress, its us that tell them to care.
You didn't have an argument at the party and you didn't cause a scene there either, you just went home and stayed. ###### |
Yes, I am 35 and have a 10yo half-brother from my father's second marriage. I am sort of a quasi-father/brother to my younger brother, My father and his wife were not planning on having kids so they were not prepared. My brother is a really cool kid and he spends a lot of time with me and my wife. His school got shutdown and home schooling doesn't cover the "puberty" discussion. He clearly is on the cusp of puberty. His hygiene consists of a short shower, brushing teeth, rinsing and that's it. It's clear he needs to up his hygiene game. I bought a "bro kit" for his age which consists of deodorant, electric toothbrush, good body wash, facial pads, etc. He needs some, but not all thought I don't think it's ever too early to start. I already know his mom will be upset by it and question it. I know if I try to talk to her or my dad, it will go in one ear and out the other. ###### | NTA. Kid needs to learn hygiene or he’s gonna be the smelly kid at school. Why does his mom not want him to be clean? ###### |
My friend had these really, really dirty (and old ish?) Nikes that she told me she was gonna get rid of, because “cleaning them is impossible and too much work”.
They were not too bad off, just dirty and even in my size! So me being a broke university student asked if I could have them, and she said yes, do what you want with them. I normally save all of my money, so no new shoes in a while, boy was I happy!
She gave me the shoes some days before the lockdown, so we haven’t seen eachother in about two months before this past saturday.
I had cleaned the shoes really intense, and actually used many hours and money on it. We had a little get together with some of our friends (yes, my country is NOT in lockdown anymore, it is very controlled).
At this get together she saw the shoes, and said “oh Thank you *my name*, you fixed up my shoes!”. At this point i thought she was joking, and said something like “yeah, they just needed a little love to shine perfectly white and bright again”.
She then started asking why I had them on, and if I could take HER shoes off - at this point i was like ????, and told her she gave them to me, so i would not take them off.
Most friends are on my side and are saying that because she would have dumped them in the trash and GAVE them to me, they are mine. I sure as hell think they belong to me too, because 1) she gave them to me, and 2) I spend a lot of money and time to fix them and 3) SHE GAVE THEM TO ME.
She is accusing me of stealing them and that i was only “borrowing them”. She left quikly, and some of the others said i was kinda an asshole for not giving them back.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Keep the shoes, ditch the friend. ###### |
My older sister (17f) goes out at around 9-11pm almost every night to go "get groceries" when, in reality, she just goes to buy herself multiple bags of clothes and snacks and brings back very limited groceries (like a gallon of milk or orange juice). She'll buy the clothes with her money about half the time and she uses my mom's card the other half. My mom definitely spoils her more than me and my twin sister.
Every time she gets home, she honks the horn over and over and over. She will do this for over 30 minutes until either me, my twin sister, or my parents come out to help her. She usually doesn't even have more than 4 bags so I don't understand why she always "needs" help.
She doesn't send a text or anything. She just honks the horn. My mom has told her numerous times to stop doing it because her and my twin sister have anxiety and the sudden honking can easily push them over the edge. It also wakes up people, like me, who like to go to bed earlier. I told my mom last time that I wasn't going to help her next time she did this. My mom was fine with this. I also told my older sister and she replied with "Yeah, ok then" and rolled her eyes.
Tonight at around 9:30pm, she arrived home from the store and started honking again. I was in the living room (not sleeping, just scrolling through reddit) when she scared the crap out of me by honking again. I followed through with what I said last time and didn't move. My parents and sister also decided to do the same thing, but they were on the other side of the house. I watched as she brought in three bags. Three. Bags. THREE. She literally brought them all in in one trip.
She is currently yelling at me for not getting up to help her since I had nothing else better to do. I'm a (wo)man of my word. COULD I have helped? Yeah. Did I want to? NOPE! So AITA? ###### | NTA. Keep ignoring her. Nobody needs help carrying in three bags, nor does someone need to go shopping every night. ###### |
My brother and sister-in-law are both in the medical field. The coronavirus has them thinking about the possibility they leave their two underaged boys orphaned if the unthinkable were to happen. My brother’s wife asked if I would take care and custody of the boys if they both were to pass away for whatever reason. I initially told her I would do whatever they needed me to do, but that my sister who is already raising a family is probably better suited. I’m single with no kids, never married.
Here's the thing: I don’t like my brother. He was a terrible bully growing up who took every opportunity to tease, torment, and belittle me if he wasn’t simply neglecting my existence. He was selfish to the extreme and my parents, who were too busy trying to put food on the table, tolerated it and thus indulged it. We’ve never had a friendly relationship and an episode of utter callousness on his part in our 20’s was the last straw for me; I didn’t speak to him for the next 15 years. His treatment of me has affected me in numerous ways to this day (I’m in my 40’s): my self-confidence, my relationship with my parents, my general misanthropy . . . repeatedly being called stupid and ugly growing up has a way of staying with a person.
My brother’s family and I are more cordial now, but only for my elderly parents’ sake. We interact during the holidays when I put on a good face. Otherwise, I have no interest in having anything to do with my brother or his family. I know that once my parents pass away (I hate even thinking about it), I’ll never interact with my brother again. I simply don't see myself being a part of their lives. I’m thinking I should let my sister-in-law know this so she can make alternative plans for her kids and not rely on me. AITA for not wanting to take care of her children? WIBTA if I were to tell her this? ###### | NTA. Just tell her no, and if she pushes, explain why if you feel comfortable and haven't told her what a horrible person your brother has been to you your entire life. ###### |
I live with my parents and brother.
My dad has a habit of making jokes. He'll comment about my place being in the kitchen because I'm a girl, or joke about our animals (17 pigs (the livestock kind), 6 cats, 4 chickens, and a dog) not liking me versus another family member, just little mean jabs here and there.
This honestly hurts. I have c-ptsd from a previous abusive relationship where I was repeatedly degraded and insulted, and I hate this. But if I politely ask him to stop, I'm being too sensitive, I'm being ridiculous. It's usually met with a scoff and an eye roll.
AITA for asking my dad to quit? ###### | NTA. Just pretend you don't get it. Make him explain every single "joke." Deadpan face and sincerely ask him to explain it. It'll get old for him real quick (I hope!). ###### |
OK so I (26F) in a bit of a predicament. I love my dad very much, and we have a great relationship. We share a lot of interests and we have a special bond. I have no doubt that my dad has my best interests at heart, but he can be a little distracted at times.
My step-mom and I also have a good relationship, but she can be a very firm and headstrong woman, where my dad is a little softer. They have two sons together, (M15 and M17), who I also have a great relationship with but as any mother would, she sometimes favors them over me. This has bothered me in the past, but as I'm not her real daughter I've made my peace with it.
The other day I was visiting them and having dinner and we somehow got into the subject of wills and testaments, and it was kinda revealed that if my stepmom dies, my dad inherits everything and will likely pass things to my brother. It got me wondering, if my dad dies, will she inherit everything to do with as she pleases? Because in that case, I suspect that everything will go to my brothers.
My dad means everything to me, and the thought of him passing is a thought I don't think if I can avoid it, but what kills me even more would be if he died and I would have nothing of his. I don't really care about money, I care about the things we've bonded over together. For example he has a small library that we've spent countless hours in, which my stepmom and brother has had no interest in.
So the question is; WIBTA if I brought up my inheritance with him? I don't want to come off greedy, I really don't, but I'm afraid that I will inherit nothing from my dad.
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TLDR: If my dad dies, I will likely inherit nothing, WIBTA if I brought up my inheritance with my dad? ###### | NTA. Just make sure you bring it up the right way. I would tell him that the conversation from earlier has you wondering about his own will and you were curious about who he was leaving things to. I would express your interest in the library. Say that while what he does is entirely up to him that there are sentimental items that you would be interested in. Things that you would not want to sell off, but rather keep in the family. Things that have meaning beyond monetary value. ###### |
Background: I was a late bloomer and had my first kiss and lost my virginity at 27. I was overweight and unconfident in myself, until I got therapy and started working out. About a year ago I reached my goals, and I am going to brag, I look fucking good.
I got way more attention from women after that, and since I was late to the game I decided that I wanted to experience the hookup life. So I would go to bars and use dating apps to hookup.
One of my friends, Sam, who I have known since I was in my early 20s absolutely despises that I do this. Sam calls me immature for hooking up with girls at my age. Usually I keep my mouth shut, and she stops talking about it.
A couple of days ago Sam heard that I am planning to hookup with a few girls after everything opens back up, and she flipped out on me sending me this long text calling me immature, creepy, etc. This time I didn't hold my tongue, and I told Sam that it's none of her business what I am doing. I told her that she is a hypocrite, since she had her hookup phase in college as well. I explained that just because I didn't have to opportunity to experience that during college like everyone else doesn't mean I am going to miss out because she is uncomfortable. My last line was "I am going to keep doing what I am doing, so drop it because I don't need this toxicity in my life."
She hasn't texted back, but word has gotten around in my friend group about our confrontation. They agree its none of her business, but most of them say I was too hard on her and she is just "looking out for me." So reddit did I go too far? Was I the AH? ###### | Nta. Just make sure you are getting std screenings to be safe and use protection. You don't want a one night hookup to be a 18 year to lifelong commitment. ###### |
So, I (17M) was just relaxing at home with my little brother (11) and my mother’s girlfriend’s son (7). My mom and her girlfriend left the house without any warning and didn’t tell me or the two little ones where they were going. This is pretty normal, they usually will come back with grocery’s or tell me they went to go run some errands when they get back.
I had ordered lunch for pickup and when it was ready I left the two children to go grab my lunch. I told them I’d be right back and where I was going, and also told them to call me if something went wrong and if something REALLY serious went wrong, call 911 first and not me.
When I got back home with my food, the car my mom and her girlfriend took for the day was in the driveway. I walked in the door and immediately started getting questioned by my mom’s girlfriend about why I left the kids there. My mom was fine with it, my little brother has stayed home alone for short periods of time before and it’s not a problem. My mom’s girlfriend was upset because her son is only 7 and something really bad could’ve happened.
I told her that her child isn’t my responsibility, especially when she hasn’t notified me or even asked me to watch after him while she was gone, and that she should find a babysitter if she’s that worried about me leaving for 5 minutes.
So, am I the asshole for leaving her son alone without proper supervision or is she just being irresponsible by leaving her child with me without telling me? ###### | NTA. Just like you said, if she expected you to be in charge of her kid she probably should have asked you to do so. ###### |
Some backstory:
So last November I (18F) moved in with my now ex-boyfriend (22M) to an apartment with 2 other people. These two people are married and we were friends with before moving in together. The husband (20M), we'll call him John, is in the military and his wife (20F), we'll call her Abby, worked part time at some store.
Recently John came back from a deployment and immediately upon him getting home she got pregnant. Now since she's been pregnant the chores that need to be done around the house haven't been getting down (dishes, trash, etc.). Now we don't take turns doing these chores but previously we had a talk and its a general rule that you wash your own dishes and if you see the trash needs to be taken out just take it out. But about a week and a half go John and Abby decided to cook and left their dishes in the sink, which is no biggy, but by the 3rd day they were in the sink I confronted John while he was sitting in the kitchen and asked if he was going to clean up the dishes.
He responded with "well Abby and I have both cleaned up the kitchen by ourselves why don't you."
I said "well they're not my dishes, why doesn't Abby just wash them"
He drops in the excuse that she's pregnant and doesn't want her doing a whole lot (which I understand) so I just left it alone. And my ex ended washing the dishes later that day because they had piled up and it was getting annoying.
Now this isn't the only situation that this has been an issue. But I told my ex that I'll be moving out because I don't feel respected and he says I'm in the wrong. ###### | NTA. Just imagine how it is going to be when they have a baby. ###### |
Okay so this is pretty funny I know
I got fired today from a studio I was working in as a tattoo artist. I did not get a proper reason to why and my boss fired me over text. I'm pretty upset over it and I lashed out on him because he sees me almost everyday yet did not have the guts to do it face to face. He also did not complain about anything I've done (nor my tattoos) and just couldn't seem to give me an actual valid reason so I'm still confused.
I can't sue him because we don't have a contract and I'm a freelancer (most tattoo artist in my country are freelancers)
I also had to find another job because he didn't forward any clients to me (I still don't have enough of my own clients to provide for me.) Anyway I didn't really lose any money over this.
Okay to the point-
I had a really great pair of scissors and I brought it to the studio for the staff and for me to use because the studio had only very shitty scissors and no one bothered to buy any new ones. (Also I would bring baked goods and whatnot all the time, made sketches for my boss to tattoo... I did A LOT in that studio)
So my scissors are the most popular ones in the studio right now and i want them back.
I want to take them back without telling anyone.
I know it's pretty passive aggressive of me but I feel like this was really unfair and screw the owner??
So WIBTA if I take them back without anyone knowing? They are used by everyone so they're not really only mine when they're there. ###### | NTA. Just go back and say tell whoever is there you are getting your stuff since you’ve been terminated. Then just get your scissors and anything else that’s yours. ###### |
So for a while now I’ve owned two horses, mine and my daughters (13F) and they’re about 4 now.
2 years ago my sister got her daughter a horse, my niece is 12 now.
They usually only visit Fri,Sat & Sun for about 2hours so I usually let them into the field of a morning, groom them and put them away of a night which I charge £30 every two weeks.
(The field isn’t attached to our house, it’s on the other side of the road.)
We’re planning on moving, its a 5hr 12min drive meaning my sister couldn’t drive here as frequently and she can’t afford to rent the field her daughters horse is in currently.
I told her I’d keep her horse up here for her daughter for £160 a month which includes caring for the horse.
She’s offered to sell me the horse.
I’m considering it, I did say I’d be willing to pick her daughter up for the weekends but that isn’t possible as the weekends are my nieces fathers custody agreement.
I’ve been getting called/texted by family members saying what an AH I am for exploiting family/stealing my nieces horse when I can afford to do it for free especially while she’s going through a hard time (her parents divorced)
WIBTA? ###### | NTA. Just because they have personal stuff going on doesn't mean their pets are your responsibility. Horses are expensive to keep and maintain. If she's willing to sell you the horse then ok but if the family is so concerned about their struggle them why don't they pitch in and pray for the costs? ###### |
So first and foremost I must say my parents are amazing but their siblings and parents aren't as great as my parents are. When I was younger I had always wanted to be with my Aunt's and grandparents to spend time with them yet they would always ignore me in favor of my cousin who was a year older than me. At that point in my life it was only my cousin and I being the children in the family. Fast forward a few years and it was no longer just my cousin and I. It was My cousin, her brother, my sister, and I. I was sorta hoping that with two new additions they would no longer be able to focus on purely one person. I was right. They focused on my sister, and both my cousins always forgetting I was a part of the picture. This always lead to awkward holidays where everyone was having fun and I felt stuck like I was talking to strangers.
Now a days, my grandpa passed away and the family was devastated. all of them posting stuff on Facebook like "I've lost all ties to this family" or "My family is falling apart". It also just so happened that I had finally finished school and landed myself a nice job that lets me travel yet it's only now after I've left that they are trying to build a relationship with me. My parents asked me to please just try to talk to them and be nice but I always respond with "Why should I be there for them if they were never there for me?"
I feel like I'm justified in thinking this but I still feel a little like an asshole. Everyone tells me that I need to get over it because they are blood. But blood doesn't always mean family right?
So AITA?
TL/DR: AITA for refusing to talk to my family because they were never there for me? ###### | NTA. Just because they are technically family does not mean you have to be close or have a relationship with them. ###### |
Sorry for formatting, also English is not my first language.
Throwaway cause she knows my username. I know the title sounds bad.
I (f, 20) have had a boyfriend since 2018, pretty damn healthy relationship. I'm also bisexual with a preference for men.
Basically a few days ago a gay girl (f, 19) told me she liked me. She knows that I'm bi. Our conversation went something like this
Gay girl (gg): Listen here, (my name), I have a crush on you.
Me: Okay? But you know that I have a boyfriend.
GG: That's all you're going to say?
Me: Yeah? What am I supposed to say?
GG: Don't you like me back?
Me: No. You know I'm okay with my relationship.
GG: But you said you're bi! ((((here she started getting mad))))
Me: I am bi but my relationship is healthy and I don't have any feelings towards you
GG: ((((started yelling things I didn't understand and that I'm homophobic))))
Of course after that I hung up without saying bye. Yesterday her friends started messaging me that I'm an asshole for not giving her a chance. I don't want to give her a chance cause I'm happy and I tried explaining that but they still insist that I'm an asshole. After her friends started messaging me I called her and told her to tell them to stop that because thats fucking harassment. She said they were not going to stop so I told her that I don't even like her as a person right now.
so reddit
AITA for not liking a gay girl? ###### | NTA. Just because someone shares the same sexuality as you doesn't mean you have to feel a mutual attraction to them. ###### |
Even though I live in a wealthy neighbourhood, people seem to not want to bother putting up fences for their dogs or even if they do put their dogs in the front Yard without being leashed to anything.
Usually it’s not that big of a problem but, today it was.
As I was walking my dog, another dog ran out of it yard and came towards us. He wasn’t barking or anything, I think he just wanted to say hello but, I’m very cautious of other dogs and I just kept walking. The dog followed us past a few houses (so for at least a couple minutes), and stopped to pee, we kept walking about a minute later I heard yelling looked back. A man was running frantically at the dog, a car was coming down the way and swerved out of the way. The man (the owner) sternly yelled at the dog, was able to grab it and take it home. To be clear I was down the road by now and while I saw what happened I wasn’t close at all.
I went on with my walk and about an hour later on the way back, passed the house with the dog. As I had passed the house and was halfway passed the next house, the man that opened came out of his house and started calling after me. At first I didn’t realise he was calling after me and kept walking but when he continued to yell “hey” I tried around and said “me?”
He started going off about how it was my fault his dog was almost hit by a car. I should have caught his dog and brought it back to his house.
I countered his argument and said “actually if you had been keeping a close eye on your dog, he wouldn’t have wondered off. It’s your responsibility to watch after your dog and not mine.”
The man huffed at my argument, waved his hand at me and walked away. AITA?
To be clear a lot of the reason I didn’t bother with the dog is because I assumed the owner was close by and would call the dog back to him. Plus it wouldn’t have been easy to grab the dog and walk him back to his house as he didn’t have a leash and I had a dog if my own I was walking ###### | NTA. Just because someone decides to be irresponsible with the animals that he keeps doesn't mean the rest of us need to pick up the slack. If he doesn't want his dog to run away, he needs to invest in a leash and/or a fence, and not to rely on the passersby to watch their animal for them. ###### |
These past few weeks, my mom has been trying to convince me to leave my son with her because she’s been lonely because my dad died recently but my wife and I refused because Of what she did that last time we left our son (8m)
My mom has become a very big conspiracy theorist and we left our son with her for a month because we wanted to go on a trip together. When he went back to school, they were talking about 9/11 and he immediately piped up “my grandma said the zionisy jews did it” we got a call from his teacher asking what is my mom teaching him. It embarrassed us both and I called her up asking what the fuck is she telling my kid. She just tried to defend herself with “it’s true, Besides do you know how many Jews died in 9/11? None!” I just hung up so that’s why I’m wondering if I did the right thing in refusing? ###### | NTA. Just because she's your mom doesn't mean she needs alone time with your son.
Not only should we still be distancing from those we dont live with....she is trying to indoctrinate him.
No 8yo needs hear 9/11 conspiracy theories. ###### |
I really like to draw and my mom supports me on that. Recently she got me a new sketch book when she went out, I've had the book for 1 month or so then a couple days ago she told me that she looked through the book, I was visibly upset ( I've told people before that i do not like it when they look through my sketch book without my approval) I told her in the nicest way possible that was my book and it's not hers to just flip through whenever she wants. Then she starts yelling at me telling me that she bought it and she could look through it whenever she wanted. I try to defend myself telling her that I would decide if I wanted anyone to see it but she kept cutting me off. I was pretty pissed and left. I feel like I might be the asshole because shes my mom and she encouraged me to draw when my family wouldn't accept it as a career choice. I know this is not as dramatic as other posts but please I want to know AITA? ###### | NTA. Just because she helps you financially doesn’t mean you don’t deserve privacy. Honestly parents that think just cause they pay they can snoop in your stuff are the worst. ###### |
I [20 M] live with my mum and brother [8]. I've wanted a switch since it came out but life and other hobbies have gotten in the way. Over the quarentine my expenses have gone down since I no longer have to buy food at uni, and I should have enough pocket money to pay off the rest of this year's fees and to get a Switch.
However, my brother's been very uncooperative with studying as he wants to play videogames all day instead. Because of this my mum has told me to not get a Switch, as she wants to cut my brother's gaming time and feels that even if I were the one to get the switch with my own money, he'd still see it as a reward.
I've already decided to not got the Switch to keep the peace, but am I the only one who feels it's unfair that my brother's misbehaving is directly affecting what I can do with my own money?
INFO EDIT: I could absolutely keep it in my room and restrict his access to it. If I was really commited I could probably have it without him ever knowing (although I probably wouldn't go that far) ###### | NTA. Just because it is in the house does not mean you or your mother have to let him play it, especially if he isn't fulfilling his responsibilities with school work.
She's asking you to sacrifice something you want to make it easier on herself to parent. It's nice that you're willing to do that, but letting an 8 year old control how the house works is never going to end well. ###### |
I am a 28-year-old female, married (almost 4 years) and we have 2 1/2 year old at home. My husband and I have been kicking the idea of getting pregnant again so that our daughter has a sibling and friend to grow up with. My older sister (29) just got married last November and after their cruise in February wanted to “start trying.” Heard no news from them in March so we started trying ourselves because I really wanted another baby and really wasn’t sure if they were serious or not. Fast forward to April we found out we are pregnant. We just told my parents last weekend (middle of May) and now my sister is upset and calling me selfish for not waiting until after they got pregnant first before trying ourselves. She says that I’m going to steal the spotlight and when they get pregnant no one will care. (Side note back in 2018 I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks so that’s why this time I waited before telling anyone) I'm excited that I am pregnant, but I definitely don’t need all the excitement for round two, when she does get pregnant I am going to be so happy for her, I just wish she would be happy for me as well. AITA for not waiting till my sister gets pregnant with her first before trying for our second? ###### | NTA. Joy for babies isn’t like pie, it doesn’t run out. Your sister is being silly.
Edited to add: the entire pie discussion that has unfurled totally made my day. What entertainment! OP should serve pie at her baby shower. ###### |
This is so stupid I can't even believe I am typing it out on my mobile but here it is folks cabin fever maybe getting to me so I need some nonbias perspective on this.
So my BF and I are gamers, currently, both of us are WFH. Now, normally gaming time is limited for both of us because of long hours at work and weekends are reserved for downtime. We each have our own systems I have a ps4 pro he has an Xbox one. I personally don't like the Xbox platform (I have my reasons) while he is a lot more versatile. So I will stick to gaming on my ps4 while he bounces in between the two.
Usually, he will every once in a great while play on the ps4. But lately, he's been playing only been playing it for the last two weeks it's to the point where I don't even get a chance to play. Plus the ps4 is in our bedroom he will play into the wee hours of the morning while I'm trying to sleep (I never do this to him). He knows I don't like the Xbox, I also am not into the type of he has for it I like RPGs and buy these, while he buys more strategic games or MMO first-person shooter games which admittedly I hate lol. Idk why but I get very disoriented while playing them. Not only this but he's gone in and beat some of the games I was playing so now I have to start all over.
When I've hinted I would like to play on the ps4 he will say oh just a bit longer, or why don't you go play a game on the Xbox. Basically just brushing me off and it's starting to really aggravate the piss out of me. WIBTA if I told him he needs to stop playing on my ps4 constantly and finishing my games? And also that he's being rude playing at night in the bedroom when I am trying to sleep? ###### | NTA. Jesus. He's not even making his own save files!? Not cool. ###### |
I was with my former spouse for many many years. Turns out he was unfaithful to me for almost every one of those years. He ended up confessing he was in love with my sister and wanted to be with her as well. At first I was crushed and dumbfounded. I felt powerless to stop the situation. Eventually I left my spouse. I tried seeing other people just to have another family member of mine manipulate me with the guy I was seeing at the time and they got together behind my back. He dumped me and kicked me out of the room we shared.
I didn't stop trying to see people.. but I kept it more casual, less commital. That was until I met my current bf of almost a year now. I decided that he made me happy and recently decided to move. My sister claims I abandoned her, my ex spouse and their kids. AITA for moving on with my life ? ###### | NTA. Jesus, your family members are husband-stealing vultures. You are right to get as far away as possible. Enjoy your happy, healthy relationship without toxic people from your shitty past coming in and ruining it. ###### |
my partner when they were younger had issues with some older men saying they hoped they shaved their genitals. My partner mentioned something today about how bare female genitals make them uncomfy and said anyone who wants to be with someone who shaves is a creep. I asked what purpose pubic hair served, cause I honestly didnt know, guess its hygenic or somethin' cool. My partner then began to say people shouldnt shave, and it was weird if they did. I argued that if someone wants to do something to themselves like shave they can, its the individuals choice.
This was a bad thing to say. I was being accused of supporting something very gross and accused of being one. I denied and tried to clarify that i simply supported ones choice over their own hair situation and nothing beyond that. This went back and forth for a good while. And my partner asked if i would prefer if they shaved, to which i responded "I dont care, its your choice."
Again the wrong move. I am now disgusting and dont love my partner. They asked why i didnt stand with them on this, i told them it was because theyre advovating for social norms to be that we tell people to NOT shave instead of letting them make their own choice. As of this moment in time thats where we stand.
AITA for not siding with my partner, even though I disagree with what theyre saying? ###### | NTA. Jesus, you are allowed your own opinion!
Sure, pubic hair does serve a biological purpose and the pressure for women to be clean shaven is ridiculous and unrealistic but many women prefer to do it for their own reasons and you are only advocating for personal choice. ###### |
I've been diagnosed with S.I.H. my brain is nearly constantly inflamed and my veins are full up of blood or something else . either way , my brainstem is very inflamed and this causes me to hear things constantly, along with pain, feeling sick, hearing loss, fluid building up in my head , seizures, brain fog etc .
my parents have been treating me worse the sicker i get .
when i tell them what my illness is , they ignore it , then a few days later repeatedly ask why i am the way i am, like they just dont get it.
when i tell them im having a headache they say 'oh it's that computer you're on' - matter of factly, COMPLETELY ignoring my diagnosis when stabbing headaches are one of the core symptoms .
when i explain my muscle seizures , they have mocked me by copying me when im having an episode and call me 'crazy' even though i cant help it .
they also keep yelling at me for talking loud which i cant help because my hearing is affected also .
i also get insulted for being a 'lazy bastard' because i am bed bound 20 hours a day because im sleep deprived because the hearing things keep me up for hours on end , only after about five hours of lying down , do they fade enough to not make me really anxious and stressed.
ive also had them threaten to hit me because i forgot what bin to put something in . i tried to explain the memory loss and how a doctor says i have a type of dementia (which is a symptom of S.I.H when it is chronic) and i forget things. they gaslight me by saying 'well i forget things too, so how can i still feed myself?' and whatnot.
WIBTA for actually raising my voice and getting assertive with my parents? ###### | NTA. Jesus Christ, this is a messed-up family situation. I'd say you wouldn't be going far enough by just being assertive, do you think it would be physically possible for you to find a place of your own? Otherwise, I know people like this and even if you do get them off your back by standing up for yourself it'll probably only be temporary. ###### |
Hi all! I'm pretty sure I'm the asshole here but I wanted to be certain and maybe get a bit of advice on how to move
Me [20F] and my bf [20M] were eating lunch in the kitchen today. We were reading funny Reddit comments to each other and I found an interesting fact on bees and decided to share it.
This for context: "Male honey bees are called drones and their only purpose is reproduction. They don’t even have a stinger. When they succeed in mating with a queen, their genitals explode and they die. If they don’t succeed in mating with a queen, they are dragged out of the hive by the worker bees (female) before winter, and die."
I told him this pretty excitedly because I thought it was the kind of cool slightly gross fact we love to share. He didn't think so and started getting aggressive over how it's a gendered offensive comment and I should basically know better. I tried to defuse it but it didn't work.
He started talking about how it was unfair that men were getting attacked just for being male and that people are using animals to make extrapolations on men. I tried to explain it was a cool bee fact but he blamed me for reading gendered comments from shitty subreddits. He started going on about job inequalities and how women get more benefits and he stalked out of the kitchen.
Later when he walked by me he said "Hi, Slut" really angrily.
Now I'm sitting here 7 hours later and he's still furious at me.
I'm pretty sure it was my bad from the start and I should have picked better things to share, but I feel his reaction is a bit unfair as well. AIT (only) A? ###### | NTA. Jesus Christ someone is insecure and projecting hard. Does he often blow up at you and treat you poorly over nothing just to make it feel like your fault?
Edit to add: someone who calls you a slut does not love you by the way ###### |
I was in a discussion with a few friends and peers, many of whom work in jobs adjacent to the comic book industry, and someone brought up how rare it was for comics, franchises and characters made by people of color to find any kind of financial success, and they then added the qualifier that even fewer of them are made for the same "communities" as their creators. Someone specifically started asking for recommendations of works made by people of color in order to be able to support them.
I then pointed out how *Astroboy* debuted in 1952, made by, for and about the Japanese, and plenty of manga and anime are exported that do not at all attempt to hide the fact that they take place in Japan with a mostly Japanese cast and staff; if anything, there was even a period of time where western-made works attempted to present themselves as being Japanese because of a perceived cachet attached to the nation.
Some objected because they said that the characters in many anime and manga are drawn to "look white" with large eyes and hair and eye colors that ethnic Japanese individuals can't achieve, I countered by saying that many Japanese works include distinct aspects of Japanese culture to the point where no one could be confused about the characters being anything but Japanese. Someone else said that the Japanese have not faced the widespread discrimination other people of color have and did not need our "help"; I countered by saying that the Japanese hold the rare distinction of being one of the few ethnic groups in America to have ever been forcibly imprisoned and that they were effectively colonized following WWII.
This started a bit of a hullabaloo in the group chat and I was privately asked to drop the subject, and I relented, but the chat kept on going on for hours after I stopped paying attention.
If it's at all relevant, I am actually a Hispanic man and a "visible" person of color (as opposed to, say, being highly "white passing"). ###### | NTA. Japanese people still face discrimination outside of Japan. The other person has to define what they mean by people of color if Japan doesn't count and defend why.
Whiteness is a very specific construct that other groups can become, like what happened with the Irish. Jewish people can pass as white and still be persecuted as nonwhite.
Also look up the ainu people of Japan.
Sure the Japanese aren't persecuted in Japan but Mexican people aren't persecuted for being Mexican in Mexico either.
Edit: They might specifically mean Americans (or whatever country your in) of color, in which case it would make more sense. Of course homogeneous societies will still have media that's popular in their society made by their people. But even then Japan is still really unique in having popular media widely disseminated outside their borders. Not a lot of famous Iranian television over here. ###### |
Every single night, my neighbors would blast loud rap music at all hours of the night. I got tired of it and approached them on their porch. They mocked me and told me to get over it and that it was a free country. So, what I did, originally, was play my own rock music. They knocked on my door and told me the exact same thing I told them. I asked them how it felt for the shoe to be on the other foot and slammed the door. I then stopped the music. The next night, they did the same thing. I knocked on the door and told them if they continued that I would call the cops. They all laughed at me and told me to do it and called me a pussy. I went back to my house, they continued, and I sure as shit called the cops. They arrived and I believe they told them if they continued they would be arrested for disturbance of the peace, because they stopped. For 2 days. They continued, I called the cops back, and they were arrested. I found out later that apparently they had a large criminal record and were arrested for many other things other than disturbance of the peace. I accidentally ratted out criminals. AITA? ###### | NTA. Ive called to cops on people playing music i actually liked, loud as fuck at 1230am while my newborn was trying to sleep.
I actually had to play my black hand and told them we can get into some gangsta shit if need be, but i decided to just get them jammed up for being hoes.
I totally understand. ###### |
When I was a kid I was an avid gamer. My favorite toy as a child was my NES.When I moved out of my parents house, I left many of my old systems with the instructions that I wanted to save them for the future when they built value. My mom never believed me and years ago gave my original NES to her grandson and my nephew. I was livid but wasn’t going to get mad at my nephew. Come to find out (my nephew actually told me) that it is a SUPER rare edition worth thousands of dollars to the right buyer. Now, of course, I want my system back, but I feel a little bad about it. AITA?
Just to be clear, no one has CLEARLY told me “no” as of yet, but we shall see how it goes. ###### | NTA. Its unfortunate your mom did that, but I think a solution could be to offer to get a new console for your relatives with some of the money. Definitely talk to them about what they would want- Heck, you could even get them one of the new NES Classic Editions! ###### |
So, my family has traditions for certain significant birthdays (18,21,30, 50, 75, 90). My next birthday will be my 30th. I'm female. On the 30th my dad takes the kid who is 30, their spouse, and any children they have on a cruise. My sister and I have a somewhat volatile relationship and it gets bad at times, I recently blocked her for over a month and considered not talking to her again.
Onward, my husband and I are not very social people and I have difficulty getting noticed when sister is around. I'm not sure she hogs all the attention on purpose,but nonetheless she does. My brothers can be great or big problems. My sister brought many people on her cruise with her, I did not go. I couldn't afford to. I want to this cruise to be about me and my husband. My sister will make is about herself and her daughter (6y/o). To avoid conflicts,I decided it would be just us and parents, no siblings or extended family. I discussed it with Dad and Husband and we decided it was for the best.
My sister threw a fit. She took it as a personal attack against her! She accused me of purposely making her sad and allowing her to participate in my birthday. She yelled screamed and cried about how mean I was being and how much she'd been looking forward to it. She basically threw a temper tantrum (she does this every few weeks, she's 32). The rest of the family understands, most weren't coming anyway. When I told her Mr reasoning she told me I need to change and be more outgoing so she could come and. threatened. to get to get details from my dad and book herself and her family anyway (Dad know not to tell her details)
I don't want to upset but this is my 30th birthday and my husband too since he is only a month and a half older than me.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Its not like you've singled her out saying out of all your siblings you don't want her in particular to join in on the cruise. You've drawn a line in the sand saying its just going to be you, your hubby and your folks. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. ###### |
So recently I (25M) made a post on my facebook about how my student loan debt was nearly whipped. Paid off my first one last year, and as of right now, it looks like I can get this last one paid off by the time I get out of the army at the end of this year.
So naturally I wanted to share the good news with everyone.
What I wasn't expecting was a bunch of old friends complaining and accusing me of being an asshole because they weren't even close to paying off their debt.
Look, I'ma pretty competitive guy, but if I post something sharing some good news thats happening to me, I'm not competing by saying 'Ha suck it nerds, I'm better at managing money than you.' I was simply sharing good news and what to me is a huge milestone in life. ###### | NTA. Its no different than posting that you graduated, or own a home, etc. They're just jealous and insecure of themselves and are taking it out on you. ###### |
My daughter was showering. She is 18. I was home (I'm the dad). I heard a scream so I knocked on the door. She let me come in. She was crying. She was in the shower facing away from me and explained what happened. She was shaving her pubic hair, slipped, and cut herself bad. She was worried that she needed stiches and she said that it was really bad.
She said she cut her labia and the skin right next to her vulva. She asked me if I could look to see if it was bad enough that she needs to go to a hospital and get stiches. I said yes so she faced me. There was a lot of blood and it looked bad and very painful but I told her she doesn't need stiches. I looked up the best thing to do. I got the supplies, and gave her them and told her instructions. I then talked to her through the door while she addressed her injury.
Later when my gf got home I explained what happened. She didn't even seem worried about my daughter, she was just weirded out that I saw my daughter naked and looked at her vulva/labia area where the injury was. Saying its so weird and inappropriate. And that this shows her that I need to have stronger boundaries with my daughter. I only saw my daughter naked for like 2 minutes total, and only looked at the injury for like 5-6 seconds. All I was focused on was helping my hurt daughter. ###### | NTA. Its funny because no matter how injured I am I'm not showing my parents my dick. So this amount of comfort and trust is wild. Good parenting honestly. ###### |
I have a dog that has very high prey drive who chases rabbits and squirrels in my backyard. I have a privacy fence and always stand outside to supervise my dog when he goes out.
Neighbors recently moved into the house behind me and have been letting their cat roam the neighborhood. The cat has recently started coming into my fenced-in yard and it has felt comfortable getting closer and closer to my house.
I informed the neighbors that my dog has strong prey drive and could very likely seriously harm their cat. It is easy to check the for the cat during the day, however at night I'm terrified the cat could be in my yard. The cat has no fear of dogs at all it seems.
I asked the neighbors to not let their catch roam. They told me it's by fault I have an aggressive dog and I should take my dog out on a leash. I told them I have a privacy fence and it's not my problem if they choose to let their cat roam. It is also against the law in my city for domestic cats to roam.
AITA for telling them to keep their cat inside and off my property and refusing to leash my dog to take him out? ###### | NTA. It’s your property! They should not allow their cat roam, much less if it’s illegal in your area like you mentioned. I would advise you to audio and video record your next interaction with the neighbors of you explaining that. It could help you in a civil suit. ###### |
So my mum started randomly coming into the bathroom to wash her hands, brush her teeth, go to the toilet etc while I was in the shower. I asked her to stop because it made me uncomfortable. she said she would stop but recently she’s been coming in more and more casually again and i got pretty annoyed at her.
Me: can you please stop coming in while I’m in the shower? I told you it makes me uncomfortable.
Mum: I’m your mother and this is my bathroom too
Me: look can you just hurry up and leave because I’m just wasting water here and I won’t get out until you’ve gone
Mum: you’re being so rude! you shouldn’t talk to me like that!
so whaddya think? AITA? ###### | NTA. It’s your personal time and not to mention it’s just creepy and disrespectful to come in while someone is in the bathroom. However if you’re taking super long hour plus showers she might just be doing it because she’s tired of waiting for you to finish. Have a conversation with her though because even if she is doing it because you shower so long it’s still super weird and not okay to intrude on someone like that: family or not. ###### |
Short and quick post.
I am 15M and have been saving my money (£500) for about a few months. This money is in cash in my secret safe in my room. My parents are key workers meaning they still have a steady income. Last week my mum offered to clean my room which was somewhat sketchy but I agreed. At the time I wasn't thinking about the money until I wanted to buy something from my local shop. Surprise surprise when I checked, the money was gone. I was quite furious and confronted with my mum. I asked her where it is and she said that she would put it in my savings (which I can't even touch till I'm 18). I haven't spoken to my mum since then and I'm not intending too.
AITA for being mad tho? ###### | NTA. It’s your money. Out of curiosity though, how do you get this money? ###### |
Yea I get it “you’re lucky your parents still love each other” well they both abused me so it doesn’t really feel like one happy family here. I’m 23 and had to return home from college. I never heard my parents until I was maybe 17? Whatever, knocked on the door because I was trying to get ready for work and at 17 it startled me.
Now 22, I have heard them multiple times. Usually if they hear me get up it stops, but it’s more about how they handle it. They always do it when I’m getting up for work despite me telling them the night before hey I have to go in early, and the house is dead silent and the walls are thin. When my boyfriend and I do it we put the TV on, because that’s what you do when the house is silent at night and everyone can hear.
I would of never ever brought it up because it is so awkward but, every time I try to sleep at my boyfriends my mom tells me I’m a disgrace and an embarrassment to the family. She says my boyfriends mother must look down on me. So I finally had enough, and said that the reason I like to get out at night and stay at my boyfriend’s or friends is because they make me uncomfortable. I said I give them plenty of opportunities to do it when I’m not home, and my younger brother also leaves the house a lot. Listen I get it, it’s their house, but I’m sorry I would never want my kids hearing us have sex. I’m just saying don’t bitch at me for going out when I’m 23 if you’re going to disrespect me. Idc how old you are, it’s gross and no one wants to hear there 60 year old parents. ###### | NTA. It’s your house too, and if you leave for work and have constantly told them you can hear they could choose to be quiet. I know a lot of parents who don’t want their kids hearing. Your mom sounds fucked up though, so bringing it up may have not be the best move because she probably isn’t receptive to criticism ###### |
for context: i 19M am a really big, overweight and somewhat hairy guy. when i am home, i love to be without a shirt because i get pretty hot (especially now with spring being here) and really sweaty, plus it's more comfortable.
i lived alone up until january this year. i pay all my bills and go to work everyday. in february, my uncle went homeless and needed a place to stay, so i decided to give him a hand just so he had somewhere to stay. he sleeps in my living room since i only have 1 bedroom. he cooks and cleans everyday, so i have no problem with him not paying rent until he gets a job.
with it getting warmer now, along with the stay at home orders going on, im home more often, and when i'm home, i absolutely hate wearing a shirt. i of course will wear something if i have company mostly because i do get self conscious, but other than that i go shirtless. since my uncle moved in, i don't go shirtless around him often, but i've grown to be more comfortable around him and not care if he sees me without a shirt. recently he asked me if i please wear clothes around him because it makes him uncomfortable to look at my body. it kinda hurt but i told him it's my house, and if he didn't like it, he can go. i don't get up in his business or hang around him. i spend 90% of my time in my room and only see him if i go to the kitchen to get food or talk to him for like 5 mins, so he doesn't see me frequently. i thought about it and maybe he has a point? i just want some unbiased opinions about this. ###### | NTA. It’s your house and you were kind enough to let him live there rent free. If you spend most of your time not around him anyways it shouldn’t matter to him at all. ###### |
I (23F) bought a house last year in a fairly well-off area (not a neighborhood though). My cousin (21F) has been living with me for the past 3 months because of financial issues: she pays a bit of rents and helps me do housework around the house. She's a really nice person in general.
On the Fourth of July, she brought her boyfriend (22M) of 9 months over. He's a really responsible, nice person that I enjoy having around. We ate dinner and then he showed my cousin fireworks that he brought over, and he said he was going to use them in the backyard. I told him no and we could do it after dinner somewhere else, because my two dogs (one is a puppy and another is an older, more frail dog) are terrified of loud noises and I didn't want him damaging the grass. While me and my cousin went to wash the dishes, the boyfriend snuck outside and used the fireworks!
When I confronted him about it, he said that he wanted to make us happy and that the dogs being scared would be OK because the fireworks were beautiful.
I got angry at him and told him that he was not welcome in our house anymore because he couldn't wait 30 minutes. He got very disappointed and went away, and my cousin got extremely mad at me because he just wanted to show us the fireworks.
Am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA. It’s your home and he didn’t respect that.
I would be so annoyed if someone came to my home and did that....also who says it’s ok for the dogs to be scared because something is beautiful. Dogs don’t care if it’s beautiful they’re still scared ###### |
So before the quarantine my grandma had declared that my mom (her only child) would get all the money and property and later could decide to split between me and my sister however she wanted. I’m fine with this. I don’t really care considering I figured inheritance should always go to the next in line.
Due to this quarantine, my mom says no one can go out. My grandma, mom and sister all live under the same roof. We all have our own rooms so no one talks to each other that much. My grandma recently had a falling out with my mom because my mom refuses to do any groceries and my grandma needs food. My grandma is a vegetarian and everything my mom has made or brought is non-veg. She also never gets her prescriptions refilled on time. My grandma has to have my moms friend deliver prescriptions. My mom recently had a different falling out with this friend so now he no longer delivers my grandmas prescriptions. During this whole thing I’ve been picking up the slack, paying for and picking up meds and food for my grandma and keeping her company overall.
A couple weeks ago my grandma had it. She decided that my mom wasn’t getting the whole will and that my mom had to split it with me since I am old enough(21) and since she thinks my mom hasn’t helped at all. After hearing about this my mom is upset with me and my grandma saying I conspired with her and that my grandma is being unfair. She says because she lets her live with us, she does enough and since she pays for essentials she’s doing enough. Again I really don’t care about the inheritance but my grandma says it’s making a statement and I guess my mom did see that I was excited to be in the will. Aita for going along with my grandma? ###### | NTA. it’s your grandmas decision and there’s nothing wrong with being happy your grandma thought of you and wants you in your will. ###### |
I have a gluten intolerance, which I was diagnosed with last year. I get quite sick if I eat a lot of gluten. As a result of this, I tend to buy gluten free snacks out of my own pocket, as I'm the only one in the house who has this. I tend to buy gluten free bread/pittas, crackers, cakes and pasta, enough to last me a couple of weeks usually.
The problem is, if I store it in the kitchen, even if it's on my own shelf, it gets eaten by my stepmum or brothers without them asking me. A week's supply will be gone in a day. I've tried explaining that this stuff is my supply for the week and they're gluten free, please could they not be eaten. I was ignored, and the bread I'd brought was gone when I went to make lunch during my working from home break.
I bought a little mini fridge, and kept the bread, cakes and pasta in that for my use. I'm being called selfish for doing this, as they should be for all of us. I've also been told that the smell could attract rats, which seems silly since they're in a fridge. My point is that these are specific foods for my allergies, paid for out of my own pocket, and I put in money for rent and food for the family too. I consider these my own food items as I purchased them myself.
AITA? ###### | NTA. It’s your food, they shouldn’t have been eating it to begin with. If you do have a rat problem, that only happens if you leave open food around (and it seems like shes just threatening it and it didn’t actually happen) ###### |
I met my biological father 3 years ago (I’m 27 now) and we’ve been mending the relationship. We’ve become close friends and I’ve forgiven him for the mistakes he made leaving in the past. I was formally adopted by my step dad at age 3 and he and my mother have been raising me with my two sisters my entire life.
All that aside, my two sisters are angry that I would invite my bio dad to my wedding because they’re concerned that it would upset my step dad. They were both angry that I met my bio dad in the first place because they feel I shouldn’t need anyone else.
I understand their concern, but I feel like that’s a convo I should have with my step dad and mom. My sisters getting mad on their behalf just makes me want to elope. AITA? ###### | NTA. It’s your day. Invite who you want. It’s also not a conversation your sister’s should be having with you. Talk to your mom and step-dad instead. ###### |
alright I've been working on a comic book for a bit, and I had used another Reddit page to look for an artist, I found a lot of good ones and I was about to choose them, but then I realized with the number of issues I would need and their prices, there would be no way for me to afford them.
In walks my buddy, who has been like a reviewer for my comic, I've sent him scripts and concept art to give me his opinion on, then two weeks he sends me a text while I'm on vacation and its a drawing of one of the three main characters...well it looked amazing, I was blown away, then last night he sent me two more sketches of other characters that have appeared and I swear it was like looking at a real comic book drawing.
I asked him after the first sketch if he'd want to be my artist for the comic, he said of course and that he while being supportive of me looking for an artist actually wanted to do it himself. so basically we made an agreement.
Well, my girlfriend's sister told me that I was being cheap not using these professional artists and instead was giving my buddy the job, she said these guys probably needed the job more than my friend and that I should tell my friend I changed my mind.
I told her no, and that I feel the comic would work better with two people who genuinely love the comic and not someone who's only gonna draw it on commission.
in my mind, I want like a Jack Kirby to my Stan Lee, Greg Capullo to my Scott Snyder, and Gary Frank to my Geoff Johns (if your not big into comics these are great teams that gave there all to there comics).
I even told her that it's not like my friends drawing for free when we finish the comic and end up selling it, I'm splitting the profit with him 50/50, and if we aren't able to sell I'm still paying him for his work.
But am I the asshole for going with my friend that I know, then an artist I don't? ###### | NTA. It’s your comic and if your buddy can deliver the result you want then that’s great. ###### |
Like I said in the title she totaled my car during Christmas break she gave me some money for the car but I was able to buy a decent car with my insurance money, (5,000 for the new car). The new car that I bought, I drove that up until last week when the transmission failed and the cost to fix it would be more than the car was worth, so I said screw it and I leased a new 2020 Honda Civic so I would have a reliable car and she's upset because I won't let her drive it. And with this coronavirus going on it's fairly difficult because the bus only runs at certain times, we dont live by any family and most of our friends live in different towns so they cant pick her up. I offered to pay for her to get an Uber or asked her to try to get a ride from a coworker. I drive her into work at 7am on my way to work, but she gets out at 4pm , I usually and dont get out of work until 6 or 7. Am I the asshole in this situation? ###### | NTA. It’s your car and you’ve offered other solutions to try and help. Ultimately it’s her responsibility to get herself to and from work.
It would be kind of you to let her but I can see why you’d be hesitant, I don’t think it makes you an asshole you’ve said no. ###### |
Okay I know this is weird. Me and my SO just moved into a new 2 bedroom apartment. We planned to make the second smaller room an office. One of our neighbors from the apartment next door introduced herself as we were moving our stuff in. She’s very chatty and outgoing and we hit it off right away.
She says we seem cool and she wants to ask us a favor: if we could make the east bedroom our master bedroom and make the master bedroom our office. She says this is because the walls are super thin and her room is right on the other side and she could always hear the previous tenants having sex. She said she put up with it then but now that we’re new here and haven’t moved anything in yet, it wouldn’t be a big deal for us to use the other bedroom. That way she wouldn’t be bothered and we wouldn’t have to feel like our privacy was being violated by knowing someone can hear. “Win-win,” she said.
But the thing is the master bedroom is obviously larger than the second bedroom and has two closets. In the smaller room we wouldn’t even be able to fit half of our bedroom furniture. But I’m super non-confrontational and i hate feeling like someone would be mad at me, and don’t want to make an enemy out of our neighbor right off the bat. My SO thinks she’s overstepping and should mind her own business.
Would we be assholes if we moved our bedroom into the master bedroom anyway, even though she asked us politely not to? ###### | NTA. It’s your apartment. You’re an adult with a lease. You can do whatever you want in the apartment wherever you want to.
Put your bed in the dining room. Put your living room in the master. Decorate the whole apartment in bells.
It doesn’t matter. Because it’s YOUR apartment and it’s none of THEIR beeswax. ###### |
My older sister has autism and my parents have made me her caretaker since I was around 7th grade. We were made to go to the same classes in school except language class where I chose Chinese and she chose Japanese. When younger my sister did not have any friends outside our friend circle but me so she’s very close and dependent on me to help her make friends and socialize. To this day she still wants me to answer her questions for her sometimes because she does not want to talk to some people.
I understand that my parents loves both of us but cares more about my sister. She is not independent neither was raised to be someone to care for herself. One of the reasons why I dislike my parent’s way of raising us. Finally I told them this is too much for me because I have my own life to live and I can’t take care of her if I’m not self-reliant. I told them if I can’t swim and you expect me to help another person drowning we’d both drown.
Their response was “You’re being selfish, you only think about yourself.”
AITA for telling them I have to take care of myself first before caring for her? ###### | NTA. It’s unfair for your parents to place that kind of burden on you. Do you have any other family or close adult you could talk to about the situation? ###### |
I’ve been applying to jobs for a bit now. Recently, I had a Zoom interview for a position in my town. The listing said nothing about commuting or going to another office.
During the interview, the interviewer said “So I know the ad said the job was in x town, but it’s really in y town. Would that be a problem?” That town is an hour and a half away from me one way. I would not have applied for the position and have my location range on the job site set for a certain way. I said “Well, yes. I assumed it was for your x office since you put that town on your ad.” They said “Yes but we wanted more applicants. I personally travel between all of our offices often.”
Good for him, but a 3 hour daily commute would not work for me. I told him I could work for x office if there was a position available. Interview ended not long after.
I went to the online job board I applied on and reported the job for being misleading. It was removed the next day. My husband says I overreacted by having it removed. I think it’s unprofessional to do that. Was I an asshole? ###### | NTA. it’s shady to do that and waste people’s time ###### |
I have gestational diabetes so I’ve had to learn to use the lancet device and glucometer. Every chance he gets, my husband tries to grab the lancet device before me when he knows it’s time for me to do it. Today, I refused and he is furious and hurt. He says it’s a way for him to be involved in my prenatal care but the fear and anticipation of the needle are way worse for me when I’m not holding the lancet. ###### | NTA. It’s ridiculous he wants to be the one to stab you with the needle just so he can feel like he’s involved. Tell him to rub your feet instead. ###### |
Hello Reddit. I figured this would be the perfect place to ask because abandoned and mysterious are some of this site’s favorite popcorn.
I have recently bought a property in rural Pennsylvania. It is hundreds of acres way outside of a town with under 1000 people. There’s a huge forest and as I was exploring for the 50th time I came across a beautifully preserved house that seems like it was abandoned around the ‘70s. The house was well built and doesn’t actually have too much damage. Stone siding and metal roof so there were no gutters or cleaning needed. I’ve asked the locals about this house, the old owners of the property, libraries. Still no information at all. The house is a typical two story stone home. Maybe about 2500-3000 sq ft. So I guess it is my house now that nobody seems to know about somehow including the old owners who farmed a small portion of the land for 40 years.
In the house is a lot of utility and furniture pieces. So much beauty. I was considering scrapping the whole place and using a lot of the doors, hardwood, bookshelves and furniture in another house I am renovating. My SO says I’m an asshole when I came back with my truck loaded with a door and a small chandelier. My mom says and I’m an asshole too and my dad says it’s good so these things don’t rot. I imagine if it had been discovered it would’ve been trashed already but maybe people are more respectful than I think and I’m taking away explorers opportunities.
WIBTA for scrapping it all or am already the asshole for jacking the door and some shelves? Thank you. ###### | NTA. It’s on your property and you have a use for it elsewhere. You’re entitled to move objects on your property from one place to another. ###### |
My sister and I are both staying with our mother, because she’s very sick and needs help, and we both want to be there with her before she passes. We’ve both been here about a month now. My husband and I are here with our daughter and she is here alone.
We’ve been watching a movie every night for the past week or so. Last night we watched John Wick, I guess spoilers if you haven’t seen it. My husband cried a little during the part when they kill his dog, not like full out sobbing, just a little bit. Afterwards he told me it was because he was thinking about living without me, which I thought was really sweet. Anyway, after the movie my husband put our daughter to bed, and did something else. My sister and I were just talking and she made a comment where she said something like: I can’t believe you married that baby. I was pretty annoyed at the comment but gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked what she meant.
She pointed out that he was crying at the beginning of the movie. I asked why that meant he’s a baby and she said crying at a movie, especially when it’s not even sad is childish. I told her that I didn’t appreciate comments like that, and she basically blew me off and said it was a joke.
I didn’t talk to her much today, and she finally around 4 said she was sorry in the most unapologetic, sarcastic tone. I acknowledged it but then skipped the movie tonight. She then told me that I’m overreacting and it was a one joke and to calm down. That we should be friendly with each other before our mom dies. I think that if she wants to be friendly she should apologize for real. AITA? ###### | NTA. It’s ok to cry at movies. A lot of them are meant to invoke emotions. Would she be saying that if it was you or is she poking fun at toxic masculinity? ###### |
So I’m from another country and lived and worked in to US for a few years. My mom sends me food packages every month with food, snacks, candy etc from home. This is for fun and she always sends way to much, but that’s just my mom 😁.
So I usually share with either friends, colleagues, neighbors or other people that come over.
I started a new job a couple of months ago and this was the first time I brought something here (it was a type of cookie). I explained to the people there in the moment why I brought it and put in in the break area for everyone to grab when/if they wanted.
Another colleague started later that morning and a while after she came in she say the food I brought and asked who brought it. I said it was me and started to explain why when she interrupted me and asked if I took her allergy (gluten allergy) into account. I said sorry no and explained why I brought this. She said I was extremely rude for not thinking of everyone. And that it was better to not bring anything if not everyone could enjoy it. She said I was very selfish and don’t think about others. I gave a half-assed apology and told myself not to bring anything again.
Am I the A-hole for bringing the food, not thinking about dietary restrictions?
If I would have bought something (for example for my birthday) I would definitely take all dietary restrictions into account, but this was just something I had left over ###### | NTA. It’s not your job to conform to every ones diet. I have type 2 diabetes and I work also. I don’t go around on the days people buy food for everyone or whatever bitching about the fact they got sugar and bread and all that. Yeah it sucks. It oh well. That’s my business. Your co worker has a complex and should get over herself. ###### |
A few years ago a friend of mine was given the whole set of a manga collection (around 20 books or so) from a family friend. She wasn't overly interested in manga so decided to gift them to me for my birthday.
I LOVE this series; it's one of my favourites and I was planning on taking this set to university with me in a few months. However earlier today this friend messaged me, in a group chat mind not PM, asking if she could have the books back. She claimed that the original owner wanted them back, so she wanted them back to return to the owner.
To be honest I don't want to give them back; they were originally a present to my friend who gifted them to me, and I feel that both my friend and the original owner are being rude to ask for them back.
WIBTA if I said I want to keep them?
Quick Update: I talked to my friend about it and she had never wanted to ask for them back in the first place. Her family is rather strict and believes that "you should always help your family no matter what". The original owner (her family friend) had been harassing my friend to get the books back, and only asked me to get them to stop nagging her. ###### | NTA. It’s not your fault the original owner wants them back. They were given to you and now they belong to you. You can do as you please with them. ###### |
Alright, here's the situation:
I am doing shit on my laptop, it needs updates and all that, since I just recently bought it and freshly installed Windows. I set the language on English despite German being my mother tongue.
So my sister comes by and she sees my new laptop. She wanted to see it so I gave it to her. Then she asks why I changed the language on English. I tell her that it's because it's easier to follow good tutorials written in English, and that I find it annoying to translate English to German to search for it.
She then went on to question why I had difficulty translating and I say sometimes translating isn't as easy as she thinks. I then went on with pretty shit examples, which she translated.
So I tried to justify me choosing English for some time, which only semi worked.
After that, she said I could always search those things in English even on a german machine, which she proved. She then said that I was probably only doing it to show off, which was when I got really angry.
I told her that it's because I like it on English and I questioned her why she had to be such a prick about it. I told her that I found the way she talked to me very condescending and mean. She then told me that I should calm down and that I should understand her position. She said that she knew my reasons were wrong and that she knew she was right. I should have said earlier that it's because of preference.
In her view I was kinda angry from the beginning, that's what she told me, and that I was getting unreasonably worked up.
I know this is pretty trivial and shit, and we're both over it as it happenwd some time ago. But sometimes I can't help but think who was the asshole.
So I wanted to ask AITA for being annoyed and angry at her after this, or is it her. ###### | NTA. It’s not even hers, how controlling can she be? ###### |
My mother brought in a pet and over next 5 months we had it it was going good and I started to develop a small bond ( yeah it sounds cheesy) with the pet. All of a sudden he’s gone and she got rid of him and didn’t tell anyone. I just live in the house but I do everything for the cat, and she was mad at him I guess because he did things like climb tables and scratch things.
Am I in the wrong for feeling mad that she just got rid of him with no warning, no heads up and I don’t even know where? She is trying to reimburse me with the money I spent on food but I don’t even want that. ###### | NTA. It’s not at all cheesy to form a bond with your pet, even after a short time. Your mom sucks for getting rid of the cat without telling you and not letting you have any say when you were the one taking care of it. ###### |
So
About a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me. All that was explained to me was that she found someone else and wanted to end things amicably.
As far as I'm concerned, things ended amicably and there are no hard feelings regarding it to my knowledge.
A couple weeks later she texted me and was asking how things were, I maintained a relatively normal conversation, but told her that I was also involved with someone else. She started sexting me, describing in detail what she would have wanted to do with me had we stayed together. After a bit of this, I ended the conversation, and she sent a final message along the same vein. I did not reply. She openly admitted to being aware that I don't tolerate cheating, but continued anyway. Last I heard, she's really mad at me for not responding, but also kinda upset that she picked the other guy (according to a mutual friend, he has some mental issues. Don't know what, Don't wanna know).
So, am I the asshole for not responding, as she claims? ###### | NTA. It’s in the title “ex-girlfriend”. Tell your mutual friends you don’t want to know anything about her ###### |
When I was 13 I got into baking. I was an amateur for sure, but I liked finding new recipes and trying them out. My dad had this *extremely* annoying habit of eating stuff while I baked. Basically, here’s how it went: I’d do my chores and get permission from my mom to bake. I’d start baking, and sometimes my dad would walk by and take a large ball of cookie dough off the tray while I wasn’t looking and eat it. I always got annoyed with him, and he’d laugh like it was a joke.
He’d ask me who bought the ingredients and I would say mom, who got them at the store. Then he would say yeah but who made the money that bought them? And the answer was him (since there are 4 kids in my family and my mom is a SAHM). And then he’d say that since it was his money he had the right to eat them.
It sounds silly but this seriously annoyed me as a baker. This was back before I had a job, and my usual allowance was $2 a WEEK if I did all my chores. So, realistically, it’s not like I had the money to buy the ingredients myself. $2. A. Week. My dad made a six-figure salary but my mom tried to convince me that a $2 allowance was a lot.
Anyway, when my dad took cookie dough, I’d get annoyed and always tell him not to, and he’d remind me that it was his money. I mean, it was, so I saw his point, but I think it’s rude to take dough from a baker without asking when they’re not even done with it. I would never do that to someone.
It could be that my dad didn’t realize how rude it was since he basically never did any cooking (or dishes or laundry, either, actually—he saw that all as my mom’s job). He made bread occasionally, but as far as kitchen stuff went, that was it. I feel like he really should’ve realized that it was disrespectful of my hard work on a recipe to “steal” dough from me before I was done, though. We always argued about it and each thought we were in the right. Which of us was the asshole? ###### | NTA. It’s his money, but it’s your work. As a fellow baking enthusiast, I can understand how your father’s actions can make you feel. Also, Isn’t he worried about salmonella poisoning?
Maybe you should start making pastries like croissants or Chouquettes or even eclairs. The raw dough tastes really bland and kinda gross, but the finishing product is amazing. ###### |
I'm 16 and my mom and I don't have the greatest relationship, but it's not exactly bad. We are just very on and off. However, recently we've been trying to work more as a team and be more open with each other. Well, it's currently Thursday and I had an online therapy session on Tuesday. My therapist and I were having a conversation about sex so that she can understand if I exhibit sexually deviant behavior ( I don't lol). She asked me if I had been sexually active. I was honest and said yes ( An important thing to note: I have a boyfriend and our relationship is incredibly strong. We've been dating for just under a year and we talk to each other about everything. So neither of us ever do anything we're not comfortable with). Being 16, I can legally decide to not have a parent/ guardian present at my session. I chose not to have my mom there, as it was an incredibly private session. Right about the time the therapist had asked the question, my mom came into my room to borrow a shirt and she heard all of it. After my session, I went to talk to her and she was a mixture of shocked, angry, and idk what else. She kept saying that I was too young and shouldn't be doing it. I then started to get frustrated because I feel that it's MY relationship and I can do whatever I'm comfortable with. I kind of started to feel bad for not telling her, but she also shouldn't have walked in on MY therapy session. I'm not particularly mad at her, but I'm frustrated that she's getting mad at me over my private information. So, lay it on me Reddit. AITA? ###### | NTA. It’s her fault for walking in on a therapy session she knew was private. If she stayed long enough to hear everything, the intent to disturb your privacy was there. She doesn’t have the right to judge anything she heard when she was the one in the wrong. ###### |
So for context I had to wake up at damn 8 for online school which sucked ass but had to wake up. I struggled to wake up but finally got up at 7.52.
I got out of my room and went to the kitchen and got a banana quickly before the lesson. I noticed that my (37/39) parents’ door was open on the way to the kitchen but I didn’t look insude because that’s an asshole move.
Well when I had gotten the banana and was walking back I couod hear that they were banging. The creaking and heavy breathing made it 100% clear.
I know it’s a bit weird to not just igbore it but it’s also weird to have sex with the door open in the morning when everyone is waking up. I asked them ”What the fuck are you guys doing? It’s not OK to have sex with the door open when everyone is gonna walk by!” My dad told me to just mind my own business and go back to my room.
I did what he said because I was not gonna argue while they were banging so I just thought whatever. Now I’m attending the lesson while writing this. ###### | NTA. It’s gross and uncomfortable and your parents should’ve understood that instead of saying to mind your business. As someone whose mom did this a lot, sorry you had to hear that. ###### |
So my GF and have been discussing getting married and having kids.
However last night we got into an argument over raising our kids.
She doesn't want them wasting away in front of a TV or being unhealthy... Ok that's fine with me.
However then she says that she doesn't really want our kids to do Easter, Halloween, and Christmas. Her reasons are that all they promote is consumerism and bad eating habits.
However I became angry because while yes I can understand that view, at the same time, it would be robbing our children of experiencing something fun of those holidays.
Her upbringing was not a happy one and she doesn't like the idea of lots of candy or spoiling children with gifts. She grew up with a very absent mother and no father. So she didn't have a very good experience with those holidays.
I can understand her stance, but I think about how much fun finding Easter eggs, going trick or treating is, and the magic of Christmas, and missing those or muting them down to just another day, bothers me.
Well I went to bed angry and so did she. I said well I guess we shouldn't have kids then. I woke up this morning feeling terrible for saying that. However I think the damage is done. I don't think this will work out.
It just sucks because I can feel those great memories and get view on those holidays, I can feel those memories being ripped from me.
Anywho that's it. So am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. It’s good that you had this conversation now and can break up and move on, rather than later when it’s too late. ###### |
A girl at my school has some political opinions which are questionable at best. She posts said opinions on her blog. One opinion was particularly egregious, and I took screenshots of her blog in case she would delete it, as she is prone to do. I reposted the screenshots to Facebook after she deleted it. She then caught some flak for the blog because my post reached people who didn't know about her blog. People in the comments were trying to explain it to her, and she posted an apology saying she changed her opinions. But, I decided to keep the post up, and linked to her apology in the comments while removing any mention of her from the title and the rest of the post. She says that I'm causing people to dislike her because I posted it, but I'm saying that she's making other people dislike her because of her opinions. I told her I would delete it after a week. So, AITA for posting her opinions and not taking it down? ###### | NTA. It’s funny that people post their horrible opinions on the internet and expect to not receive any blowback for the things they say. She decided to post it, so she can reap what she sows. Also, nothing that is even deleted is truly gone from the internet so her bad opinions will forever be available to whoever has the spare time to find them. ###### |
I live in an apartment. Second floor, covered but outdoor walkway, medium walk from the street. I pay $8-12 from my limited means (I don't have a car, also due to limited means) to have groceries brought to me from walmart.
So here's the issue. Someone always seems to say "Oh could ya come down to the car and get your groceries?" or something of the like. And I think- *no! I checked "contactless delivery." I paid you! I have several good reasons (a bad back and heavy items among them) to pay to have groceries brought to me. Do your job!*
There was at least one time when it was an older woman who complained of hip trouble when telling me to carry them myself. Which I did, cheerfully. But... why are you hiring someone to carry groceries who can't or won't carry groceries? Is it so wrong to just ask for what I paid for? ###### | NTA. It’s called delivery. ###### |
My BF (30) and I (26) work in the IT industry. I work overseas (Germany) so we were in a long distance relationship for a while. We were living together so when I left the country, our place was left under his name. I send him money to pay half of the bills and everything was fine.
First quarter of 2019, his mom died and a month after that, his grandpa whom he's really close with. To make matters worse, the company he works for really sucks and his boss was a dick. He was so stressed out, he would rant about it everyday. Our video chats start and end with his rants. I told him to take a break if he wants to, since my paycheck was enough to cover both our bills. I asked him if he wanted to come and live with me in Germany, and eventually look for a job here. He agreed and he stayed at my place, with me paying ALL of the bills.
Last quarter of 2019, I got sick and was forced to resign. I promised myself I'll look for a new job once I'm well. We started living off my savings. After taking a break for 3 months, I decided to look for a new job but then the coronavirus outbreak came.
I told him to look for a job, but he says he's not ready yet. I just said okay. It's actually fine with me if I'm the one working but what I hate about him is he NAGS me every damn day if there's an update regarding my job application. I snapped and told him that he should look for a job himself. He got mad and told me I was the one who asked him to quit anyway, saying it's my fault that he's now jobless. ###### | NTA. It’s been months. It’s unreasonable for him to assume that you’ll just pay for everything indefinitely. ###### |
A little backstory:
I (15) was very close with my great grandmother, Gram Joe. We were both avid gardeners and artists, and she taught me everything I know about painting. Gram Joe had blood cancer, and was running a bit slow in her last few months. My brother (11), on the other hand, never went to visit her. He would only come with if Gma, grams daughter, was getting us lunch after. And even then, he would sit on his phone and ignore her.
She passed away last November, and I miss her like hell. My biggest regret is I never got to come out to her.
Her will specifically stated that I was to get all her supplies, which were incredibly expensive and well worth the money (30$ brushes, 150$ oil paint sets, canvasses, pencils, everything), which I was very grateful for.
Then comes my father. He took half of the stuff I was supposed to get and gave it to my brother, who already had his things she set aside. Expensive oil paints, brushes, colored pencils, all to the boy who doesn’t like drawing. I was, of course, incredibly upset.
My dad said it was only to be fair since brother didn’t get much, but that’s because she didn’t know what to give! He never payed attention to her, he never went to visit. She didn’t know what he would want. My brother ended up throwing away his stuff. Except for the brushes, which he didn’t take care of properly and are now mangled beyond belief. Thankfully my brother and I are close so he secretly gave me the stuff while throwing away the packaging, but the rage was still there. My brother is very obviously my dads favorite
Most of the rage was because he did that to Grams. I’m a religious person (paganism) and I know damm well Grams knew what he was doing. He violated her will for fucks sakes, that’s not ok!
TL:DR. Favorite grandmother left me all her art and gardening supplies in the will, father then gave half of everything to brother (favorite son) “to be fair”, violating the will. Grounded me for being angry about it ###### | NTA. It’s awesome your brother gave it back though.
This is the definition of fair doesn’t always have to be equal. You brother had no use for the stuff so it’s dumb to give it to him. ###### |
I was walking into this grocery store and there was an ~18 year old guy and his girlfriend walking in in front of me. I'm 10 paces behind them when he starts scratching at his b-hole. He looks over his shoulder and makes eye contact with me, but I'm so embarrassed for him that I pretend to be looking just past him and he thinks I didn't see.
I continue walking in behind them and they grab a cart and go toward the fruit/veggie area which is unfortunately where I'm going.
Then it happens. This guy, with his girlfriend on his right, takes his left hand and puts it DOWN HIS PANTS TO THE MID FOREARM and digs in his cheeks for 3-5 seconds. And then he just takes his hand out and continues toward the beef/chicken.
I walk around the other side to make up the distance between us so that I don't have to yell across the store and I say, "Hey man, I just saw you put your hands on your pants... I just need you to wash your hands. "
To my total surprise, he pretended like I was crazy. I expected him to be completely crushed by embarrassment. He kept saying 'Dude, what's your problem?' to which I kept saying 'Dude, just go wash your hands, this is over'. The girlfriend, who I don't think actually thought her boyfriend would do that, convinced the guy to tell them manager. So I ended up having to tell the manager around everybody at checkout that this guy dug his bare hand in his cheeks in the veggie section.
TL;DR Guy had his bare hand scratching his b-hole in grocery store and I called him out (to wash his hands) ###### | NTA. It’s astounding that an adult thought that was acceptable. ###### |
I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant, which was unexpected. One symptom that I have is EXTREME gas. I belch like a frat boy 24/7, and I can’t help it. They just slip out. I’ve tried bicarbonate with water, EVERYTHING.
fast forward to yesterday, my fiance and I were laying down on the couch, and as I was getting up, i let out an ungodly loud burp. He looked at me and called me disgusting. He says he can’t look at me the same, as it’s really gross. Prior to getting pregnant, I never burped/farted in front of him. So AITA? ###### | NTA. It’s an involuntary reflex brought on by your body reacting to the human being growing inside you. You know, the one he helped conceive. Your BF needs to grow up now because Daddy duty is not pretty. ###### |
So, I own 3 houses that I had bought with an inheritance that my grandad left me and I rent these houses out. This enables me to have a steady income even without having a job so I have quite a bit of money to save and put away.
I rented one of the 3 properties out to my sister and her boyfriend for not a large sum at all.
The first few months they paid every time on the dot and I had no issues. However in the past 3 months I had received no payments and false promises of money that I was never going to receive.
So I removed them from the house and moved in a tenant who was willing to pay. My mother is furious that I kicked them both out and wants me to kick out the tenant who I moved in and move them back in AITA? ###### | NTA. it’s always tricky going into something money involved with family. But that being said, that’s what it comes down to. They didn’t pay you. And this is your income that you live off of so you have to do what’s beat for you. ###### |
Have 2 kids, 12 and 15. It was 12 year old’s best friend’s birthday today, so I drove him over to the friend’s house. They’d be ordering pizza, playing Xbox, generic kid birthday stuff.
I dropped him off around lunchtime, and on the way back I noticed that the McDonald’s had reopened after the lockdown (and I’d been craving a burger). I went through the drive through and got 2 meals for me and 15.
When I got home it turns out that 15 had got too hungry to wait and had heated up some leftovers. He ate the chips and drink, but said he’d save the burger for dinner. I said fine, and didn’t think anything of it.
Few hours later, 12 is dropped back home and it’s dinner time. I’m serving up the pasta I’d made (which admittedly isn’t his favourite) my older one takes out his burger and microwaves it. 12 is then upset that 15 got Mcdonalds but he didn’t, and my partner agreed saying it was unfair.
The way I see it 12 got his special treat in the form of the Dominos so that was him done for the week. 15 hadn’t had any junk food in ages as me and the partner try to cook healthy and keep unhealthy food to once every 2-3 weeks.
My partner disagrees, because we so rarely get McDonald’s that it was in a tier above pizza but I really don’t see the logic in that. One kid got dominos and the other got McDonald’s so in my eyes they’ve both been treated fairly. ###### | NTA. It’s also a timing thing, when you were at McDonald’s you had only one mouth to feed! How were you supposed to know he’d wait for later to eat it. Tell your family to chill lol you’re doing fine ###### |
Recently, my little sister(10F) has been getting into Minecraft, she has played it at her school as well as on my computer a couple of times which she seems to enjoy, which is fine. However I(18M) am also into the game as I have played it ever since I was 11 and just earlier today she has been begging my parents to get the game for her, but they think that she can play on my account without checking in with me first to see if I’m fine with it.
So I get called downstairs and mom tells me to log into my account, I ask “Why?” and she tells me it’s so that she can play the game. I ask “Can’t you buy the game for her?” and she replies with “Well, you’re an adult, you shouldn’t be playing it anyway” (I recently celebrated my 18th birthday) so I ask “why can’t you just buy the game for her?” and she says it’s because she doesn’t want to spend that much money (the game is 26.95 USD, I feel that it’s important to mention that she bought a stable for her horse for about $9000)
I tell her “well, she can play the demo version to see if she likes it or not” so she has downloaded the demo version now and this is pretty much where we’re at now.
I don’t want to just give away my account as I still play the game, AITA? ###### | NTA. It's yours, she needs her own.
You might want to also explain to your parents that "playing on your account" is essentially playing AS YOU. Any people who know you, would assume it's you. *edit: Assuming play on multiplayer servers, etc.*
Also:
>“Well, you’re an adult, you shouldn’t be playing it anyway”
This really kinda makes me sad for your mom. ###### |
AITA: Backstory, I come from a big Mormon family. My mom has 5 siblings, and 5 step siblings. My dad has 8 siblings. I left the Mormon church a five years ago. I have a bad relationship with my dad, two of my siblings and my dad's whole family. Most of them haven't talked to me in years, and when my little brother died 2 years ago half of them didn't talk to me at his funeral. I am close with a lot of my mother's family excluding a couple of her step siblings and one of my aunt's.
I don't want to invite my dad's side of the family if they can't even talk to me at my own brothers funeral. On my mom's side of the family I have one aunt that is a raging bitch. She hates me for reason's I don't know. Hell she hates almost everyone for reasons we don't know. At my brother's funeral she told me my bf (we had only been dating 6 months, and she had never met him or even heard of him) was using me, she said this in front of my whole family. Then the next Christmas she bought every niece a Christmas present besides me, (I don't care about the present, it was the spite that hurt me). My bf and I are talking about getting married soon, and I've talked to a few family members who say I have to invite her and her family. Her husband is the only one who treats me good, her kids and their spouses don't even acknowledge me .I'm sure if I don't invite my dad's side of the family he won't even come to my wedding. It has become a huge debate, and to be honest I don't feel the need to spend extra money for 60 people who don't even treat me well.. AITA for excluding my whole dad's side of the family and her family from coming to our wedding? ###### | NTA. it's your wedding. you should only invite people that you want to be there and are comfortable around. ###### |
Me - (29M) my wife - Laura (26F) old friend - Shawn (31M)
So my wife and I actually got married in December 2016 so this situation is really fucking bizarre.
An old friend of mine recently got in touch with me after we lost contact many years ago and he saw that I’m married. I didn’t tell him this because we weren’t talking at the time and he got really offended that he wasn’t invited to my wedding.
I told him that there wasn’t a wedding. My wife and I were only engaged for 6 months and took our daughter who was 6 months old at that time and eloped. The only people there were us; our kid and our witnesses were the registry office people. We literally got married on our own terms as we didn’t want a huge reception.
Shawn has used the argument that we used to be really close and that I’m an AH for not considering him as a witness even though joke of my family or friends or Laura’s were there. He also said were assholes for just eloping meaning our marriage must be shit. He then brought my now 3 year old daughter into this and I swiftly blocked him.
I’ve recently brought up this bizarre exchange with my mom and she thinks that Laura and I should have had a proper wedding instead of the registry office reception with our daughter that we wanted. A few others have agreed with her but Laura says they’re idiots for dictating what they think a “real wedding” is and her family and our friends are on our side.
Who’s the AH here? ###### | NTA. It's your wedding not theirs. why they gotta have it their way. Your long lost friend is also a drama queen. Guy should just be happy that you are happilly married.
Your wife is cool for calling them idiots. ###### |
My brother split with his gf about 2 months ago and he has been living with me. Before my brother moved in, it was just me and my dog. Anyway, he has three small children who I love to spend time with but he has them on his days off. They usually sleep Friday and go home Sunday. He also has them before or after work depending on the shifts he is on. Because they are at my house all the time my dog has to stay in the kitchen alot because he doesn't like kids. Also the kids have done damage to my house and my things. I recently told him that we need a schedule so that he can still have the kids over but also so I can have some time without the kids being there. I work 12 hour shifts so I want a couple of days where I can chill out with my dog and do things I can't really do when the kids are around. So I spoke to him today bout it and he is unwilling to compromise at all. He has said he wants the kids all the time which I understand because he loves them but I really need my own space. He has said he isn't willing to try the schedule and he just keeps saying he will move out. I don't want him to move out I just want some space. ###### | NTA. It's YOUR place that your brother is staying in and should respect your house rules and personal space. You're not kicking him out, you just want to work things out. He should show some gratitude by taking you into consideration. ###### |
Just under a week ago my mum's credit card got cloned, meaning she had to cancel it and get a new one. She asked if she could use mine for the time being and I (18f) said sure she can use contactless, there isn't much in it my account and I trust her.
For context, my brother (13m) without going into too much detail has done some very questionable things that have led to him being kicked out of one school and suspended numerous times from another.
The issue comes when my brother needs a new pair of trainers because there is a hole in his old ones. The contactless limit where I live (idk if it's different elsewhere) is £45. My mum and brother are leaving the house when my mum turns to me and says "Can you give me your pin in case the trainers are over that amount". Now I know I'm not supposed to tell anyone my pin but realistically I would probably give my mum the pin, but my brother is standing right there and I really don't want him to hear it because it wouldn't be that hard for him to take my card and use it, so I say no. The amount itself isn't really an issue because there is enough in my account and my mum said she would pay me back, but it isn't really that hard to find a pair of trainers under £45 anyway.
My brother starts going off on one about how I'm selfish and he won't be able to get any trainers now thanks to me. My mum is really not confrontational so she just kinda stands there. In the end they both went and brought a decent enough pair of trainers for like 30 quid or something, but my brother's still not speaking to me and my mum says I should've just told her it.
I mean I'm legally an adult now and I don't feel like I'm obligated to tell her anything but AITA here? ###### | NTA. It's your PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER.
Personal. It's not SWNFIN, or Shared With Nosy Family Identification Number.
Identity theft is no joke. Please make sure your important documents are in a safe place. ###### |
I've recently turned 18 a few days ago btw.
​
(I was \~13-16 at the time) I really love riding my bicycle, but i live in California where drivers are shit and I have been hit by a car twice while on my bike (Both of them drivers fault) The first time wasn't too bad but it hurt like a bitch, the second one was a bit more serious and i was covered in blood, had to use crutches for about 2 months, and cannot walk in a straight line without a lot of effort. Of course with that kind of shit you sue, and I was told we got \~$6k. I come from a poor single mother family and have never had more than $300 so I was really happy. For the past few years I've been told many many times that i would get all the money when i turned 18 so I have been anxiously waiting. I recently turned 18 so i asked my mom about when i would get it and she said she would give me "a little bit of it". I was very shocked and she isn't willing to even split it 50-50. If it was for bills or debts it would be a bit more understandable but she said she wants to buy herself a new car (Nothing wrong with her current car) and again I was shocked. Am I the asshole for wanting most or at least 50% of the money? ###### | NTA. It's your money. Unless your mother had to pay out for medical expenses, and it doesn't sound like she did - you deserve the money. Sue her, too. ###### |
I don’t drink, I haven’t for nearly two years.
My dad likes to drink a lot, my brother is a straight up alcoholic in denial our family/his wife have tried to help. But he claims he’s fine.
When both of them drink they became even bigger sexist, racist assholes. They make sexist comments about women, gross homophobic jokes about the LGBT community and throw around the N Word more than they should (we’re white that word should never leave their mouths)
I am a pansexual woman.
My brother hangs out with me a couple times a week because we have a lot in common and like hanging out, but every time he comes over he brings at least two six packs of beers. He leaves empty bottles all over the place, once in the shower. My bins are in my parking lot (literally two feet from his own car) but even if I ask he won’t take them to the trash when he leaves. It thoroughly annoys me because I don’t like having any of it in my house.
Last week my brother and I planned a “sleepover” to get stoned and hang out, our usual thing. I told him please not to bring alcohol over because I didn’t want it here. The next day my brother cancelled the plans because he was “busy”
Queue videos on Snapchat of him at a mates drinking. Fine he got a better offer.
But it hurt, I know he cancelled our plans because I asked him not to bring booze but I’m also not comfortable having alcohol in my house anymore because when he starts drinking he’s an asshole and likes to start fights about issues he knows I care about i.e woman’s right, gay rights, sexism etc. He makes rude comments and when I get upset or argue against it he tells me to “calm down it’s just a joke” but I don’t find it funny.
I don’t want alcohol in my home but I’m worried it’ll hurt my relationship with him if I don’t allow him to drink at mine.
Should I hold my ground or give in and just let him drink so I can have a relationship with my brother (I’ve already been disowned by my sister for various reason) ###### | NTA. It's your house and you have ample reason.
Also, if this severely damages your relationship with your brother, that is entirely his issue. "My sister won't let me leave empty bottles all over her house and insult minorities anymore? Forget her!" He doesn't sound like the best of siblings. ###### |
This is pretty self-explanatory. I was working out in my living room when I heard something on my back porch knock over. Thinking an animal was getting to some of the vegetables I had in pots out there, I quickly ran outside without thinking to put a shirt on (since I've been working out at home, I don't feel the need to put on a shirt and I'm more comfortable that way).
Found an overturned pot, put it back up, made sure everything was good and went back inside to finish my workout. I wasn't outside for more than five minutes. Well my next-door neighbor saw me out there, and I guess it made him uncomfortable. He complained to my mom, and she told me just to try not to do it again. I still think thats unfair. Even though I usually wear a shirt, its my back yard and I should be comfortable. I'm not walking around the neighborhood or anything. Plus, I'm sure he's taken off his shirt while mowing his lawn or doing yard work. My mom says to just let it go, but I'm pretty pissed about being told what to do in my own yard.
AITA?
ETA: Not that it makes it less creepy, but our yards are only separated by low bushes, so we can both see each others yard pretty clearly ###### | NTA. It's your home and you can do what you want. People exercise outside of their home - like walking on sidewalk/on trails, or even at the gym - in that same kind of outfit. ###### |
Recently, my little sister(10F) has been getting into Minecraft, she has played it at her school as well as on my computer a couple of times which she seems to enjoy, which is fine. However I(18M) am also into the game as I have played it ever since I was 11 and just earlier today she has been begging my parents to get the game for her, but they think that she can play on my account without checking in with me first to see if I’m fine with it.
So I get called downstairs and mom tells me to log into my account, I ask “Why?” and she tells me it’s so that she can play the game. I ask “Can’t you buy the game for her?” and she replies with “Well, you’re an adult, you shouldn’t be playing it anyway” (I recently celebrated my 18th birthday) so I ask “why can’t you just buy the game for her?” and she says it’s because she doesn’t want to spend that much money (the game is 26.95 USD, I feel that it’s important to mention that she bought a stable for her horse for about $9000)
I tell her “well, she can play the demo version to see if she likes it or not” so she has downloaded the demo version now and this is pretty much where we’re at now.
I don’t want to just give away my account as I still play the game, AITA? ###### | NTA. It's your game. Sharing your account risks her making changes to settings and existing worlds and using your servers. There's nothing wrong with not wanting other people touching your stuff and your parents shouldn't expect it from you (and clearly the issue isn't whether they can afford it). They're just going to give your sister a sense of entitlement if they tell her she automatically has the right to use other people's things. Since she doesn't have the game I do think it'd be nice if you kept letting her play, but you're not an asshole if you don't. ###### |
My friend gave me his old Nintendo switch. I know my daughter, Jessie, has been wanting a regular switch for awhile. She just has a switch lite.
Right away her eyes lit up and said she would give her old switch to her cousin, Kelsie. Kelsie had to share one with her brother so the girls weren’t able to play online together often. Giving the switch to Kelsie made a lot of sense to me because she and Jessie are best friends and now they don’t get to hang out together at all.
So we thought it all worked out great, except my brother. He thinks by letting my daughter choose who to give the switch to I am helping the girls exclude his new stepdaughter.
My brother got married last summer and his wife had a little girl named Rachel. Rachel is a nice, but sometimes Jessie and Kelsie prefer to play alone just the two of them. My brother doesn’t like that. He wants them to be as close with Rachel as they are with each other. He would try to get them to do activities together and have play dates all the time.
When the lock down happened he was pretty bummed out because we had to cancel all that, but he tried to keep everyone in contact with phone calls and that’s how Rachel found out about the switches and that they were still playing without her.
He says that unlike Kelsie Rachel doesn’t have access to a switch at all since they are sold out everywhere. He thinks I really should have thought of Rachel right away and encouraged my daughter to give her old switch to her so she could play and be included.
Then he went into how I am setting up my daughter to make these choices that exclude because our other sister (Kelsies mom) and I do the exact same thing with his wife. He said she’s very disappointed we don’t invite her out with us more often. If I’m being honest my sister and I also prefer to hang out just the two of us most of the time, but we do invite our sil out sometimes.
 ###### | NTA. it's your daughters switch, she can decide who gets it and who doesn't. besides that, the two girls probably wouldn't include her anyways, even if she got the switch.
they're both not TA as well, they're just kids and want to play. they (and you) can decide who to spend time with. absolutely nothing wrong with that.
brother is TA for trying to create a bond between the girls (and the mothers) while ignoring everyones feelings. you could try to include your SIL more but you shouldn't feel forced to do it just because of your brother. ###### |
My dad had an affair and has been with his girlfriend for about 6 months now (for context my parents are still married and my mum knows about the affair). I was talking to him on the phone today and he mentioned that he wanted me to meet his girlfriend. I told him that I didn't want to and perhaps with a little bit more time I'd be open to it. He seemed to be offended by it but I didn't waver on my answer. Am I the asshole for telling him I don't want to meet his mistress? ###### | NTA. It's your choice and he should respect that. Especially in a situation like that he should be thankful for the possibility of you two meeting. ###### |
AITA?
TLDR; husband can't stand tattoos and won’t let me get one- I’m about to just do it- but he might just break over it.
Hi, I’m F25 and my husband M25 have a good marriage, we’ve had normal marriage problems but I’d like to think we did a good job resolving them through good communication and positive change. (Four years)
Every few months though, we’ve been having the same fight. I want my first tattoo and he doesn't want me to get one at all. The solution here isn’t as easy as “ f him, be a free independent woman, it’s your body, ect”.
1st problem is one of the positive changes in our marriage is me making an effort to make decisions together instead of alone. (ITA story below)
2nd problem is we are both children from strict Mormon backgrounds- though we aren’t Mormon anymore- a lot of his issue is he was made to believe people with tattoos are trashy, immature and criminals.
I’ve tried to compromise. On his end I can’t get one till I’m 30 (um, ok.. dad?). On my end, it’s got to be something small and where people can’t notice it easily. He thinks if I wait till 30 I won’t want one anymore because mature new moms don’t get first tattoos.
I’m about ready to just do what I want where I want, but I’m also not ready to put a rift in our marriage again. AITA if I get one?
Tattoo: just a black, thin line contour of a violet, it’s stem and 1-3 leaves on the end behind my ankle bone.
ITA story: I really wanted a dog he never did- he told me no but told me I could still do it- but it was a feeling of betrayal when I chose to get a puppy. I admit it was selfish, but I wish it didn’t make him feel like I didn’t love him/respect him. He resented me for three months even when he gained real love for that dog after one. ###### | NTA. It's your body he doesn't get to "let" you decorate it however you see fit.
Also, coming from someone who is tattooed from neck to feet your husband can jog on. Tattoos don't make people criminals. Only committing crimes does that. ###### |
So I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months now and we’ve been having sex for a few months. Most subjects we agree on pretty much completely and if not it’s not a big deal, everyone’s different. One of the topics that have come up is abortion and she says she is pro choice which I am too. My lizard brain didn’t think this through and assumed if we had a slip up we would go that route because that’s how it was in my past relationships.
Today on a car ride she mentioned she’s pro choice but personally wouldn’t be able to have an abortion which is fine, that’s her choice. I told her that it’s my fault that I didn’t bring up the subject and that it was wrong of me to assume, but right now I’m in college and still have 3 more years left. I think I might want kids someday but I couldn’t have them now. I told her I don’t feel comfortable having sex anymore for awhile at least because I don’t want an accident to happen even though we are generally pretty safe.
Because if something did happen right now I’m not sure if I could stick around. And wouldn’t want to put anyone, especially her in that situation.
Right now she’s upset that I’ve had sex with her before but won’t right now and saying that I’m being unreasonable.
AITA for not wanting to have sex? ###### | NTA. It's your body and it sounds like you have some stuff to think about before you're ready to have sex with her again. ###### |
First of all I'm a 19 year old male and my mother is in her late 50's. When I became a teenager the relationship with my mother and I began to weaken but for the most part we still remained civil to each other. There's never been any physical abuse or anything like that but there's definitely been times we've both said things we shouldn't have and by the time I was old enough to move out I had been diagnosed with some mental disorders such as severe depression and anxiety that I believe were fueled by my mother.
A few months ago, I found a pretty reasonable 2 bedroom apartment near my job and moved in with a roommate. It was nice that I didn't have to come home to a toxic environment every single day and since I've moved out I've stopped seeing a counselor and have reduced the number of medications I take. I still kept in contact with my mother and the rest of my family and she still convinces me to visit home every couple of weeks or so. Mostly I take the opportunity to visit my father, who I've always gotten along better with, and do laundry. The visits usually aren't too bad but I'm definitely happy when I finally find an excuse to leave.
My mother and I have always had different ideas when it comes to personal space and boundaries. There have been multiple times where she has tried to force herself into my apartment when I've specifically asked her not to come over. And today I wake up from a nap to see her standing in my doorway watching my sleep. When I asked how she got in and why she was there she simply said the door was unlocked. She had called me once, which I didn't hear because I was asleep, before deciding she needed to come in because I didn't answer. Her purpose for needing to get into contact with me was that she wanted me to go get ice cream with her of all things.
WIBTA for letting her know she is officially unwelcome from my home or is this common among everyone's parents and I'm just overreacting to the situation? ###### | NTA. It's your apartment. You can set any boundaries you want about guests and your mom doesn't have the right to ignore them just because she's your parent. Establishing and enforcing strict boundaries is the only way to deal with parents who think that they can still do whatever they want with their adult childrens' time and space. ###### |
So I sometimes make desserts, majority cakes, but I haven’t really been able to do so in the past few months because of school and work. However, because of the things currently going on in the world, I’m not working at the moment so I’ve had a lot of free time recently. Just two weeks ago, I was finishing decorating a two tier cake i had made when my cousin suddenly showed up at my house. She was instantly amazed at the cake i just made and starting making comments like “hurry up and finish so i can post it on my Instagram.” Well, when I finished she proceeded to take a picture and post it. After that my family and I all ate the cake together and called it a day. Well apparently after she posted the picture, one of her friends responded to it asking if i would be able to make a cake for her sons birthday, which is today. The thing is my cousin not only didn’t ask me before saying yes, but she also didn’t let me know of this whole situation until 9a.m this morning! The boy’s “party” started at 3 today and I absolutely refused to make the cake after my cousin called me frantic on the phone claiming she forgot to tell me. Well because of this the boy didn’t have a cake for his birthday today and my cousin went around telling the whole family I refused to make a cake for a little boy, making me look like the bad guy.
AITA for not making the cake? ###### | NTA. It's very sad that the little boy didn't get a cake, but it's your cousin's fault, not yours. ###### |
My mom sent me a video on Facebook known as the "plandemic" video. Basically this video has unproven claims about Dr. Anthony Fauci and the handling of the Covid-19 pandemic. I went to the YouTube channel and saw many other "conspiracy" videos such as how 5G can cause cancer. I decided to report the YouTube channel for being misleading and it got taken down today. At Mother's Day dinner (of all times and places), I brought up how the channel got shut down. She says that I was disrespectful for reporting the channel and that I am essentially her censor. I, however, don't find anything wrong with my actions as these conspiracy theories can be really harmful. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. It's up to YouTube whether they take down something for false information. To be a censor, you'd have to actually be censoring. In this case, that's YouTube, not you. Reporting misinformation wherever you find it is a public service. ###### |
Here's a little backstory. My boyfriend dated his now best friend 3 or 4 years ago. They shared some traumatic experiences together and he says he feels like they recovered together. He also says that they're happy as just friends and haven't fooled around since they were together.
So the best friend's brother was having a destination wedding in Mexico this week, but its been pushed back to July due to the (bad thing). The best friend's parents are freakin loaded and offered to pay for her and a guest to attend the wedding. When the invitations were sent out at the beginning of the year, she asked my boyfriend to go with her. He obviously said yes. They were both single at the time. They paid for his flight and he'd share her hotel room.
When the wedding was pushed back, the parents reached out to him to tell them they'll figure out new flight times once a new date was confirmed. I think it might be inappropriate for him to go now. We've been dating for a few months and she just started seeing a new guy. I brought it up to my boyfriend and he said that she usually waits a long time before someone she is dating to meet her family and he still wants to go. He's excited for the beaches and the open bar. He acts like I'm just jealous and its totally fine for him to be his best friend's date. I want to trust my boyfriend, but this just feels like a lot of red flags.
AITA for asking him not to go? ###### | NTA. It's totally reasonable to feel jealousy or uncertainty in this situation, if your boyfriend doesn't feel the same way, I'd have a talk with him. ###### |
This happened a few months ago and my brain keeps sending it back to me. I was traveling and I stopped at a rest stop that’s well known for having lots of bathroom stalls and they’re always very clean. There’s probably about 30 stalls in the women’s restroom, and usually not even a line because there’s so many stalls.
Anyways, I get to the restroom and this time, there’s a line. I patiently wait until I’m about 15 people from the front. Two workers come to the line and announce “there’s a lot of stalls open in the back” No one moves.
So the worker other worker says “you don’t need to wait in line, there’s a ton of open stalls”. Again, no one moves.
So I hop out of line, walk past those in front of me, and head to the back of the restroom. I see about 2/3 of all the stalls are empty.
On my way to the back of the restroom, this random woman grabs my arm and says I need to wait my turn. I say there’s plenty of stalls and there’s room for everyone. She starts pinching my arm and says there were people ahead of me and I need to get back in line. I was so surprised I just yanked my arm away, directed her to an empty stall, and then went in one myself.
By the time I came out, there was no line and the workers were much more aggressively directing incoming people to empty stalls.
Yes, I technically skipped 15 people in line, but they were being sheeple and mindlessly following. I don’t like to waste my own time. AITA? ###### | NTA. It's the same as when you're at the grocery store and they open a new register and no one moves. First come first serve.
Also, if a random person pinched me because I didn't "wait my turn" I would have freaked out. ###### |
I am very interested to learn how everyone sees this.
My father is dead now for about 10 years. He had been a banker and had offered an (ill advised) investment opportunity - back in the 2000s - to a sort of friend, I'd say more of a buddy, if that makes sense.
The friend made an investment of 500 €, which seemingly was a lot to him at the time (important later).
My father went back to the US and forgot all about his previous life in Germany, where this plays out, he later died there too. He left most of his earthly belongings to his two brothers.
The friend never forgot about his 500 € investment into this stock, the respective company went bankrupt in the late 2000s, without him even noticing. When I met him on the bus only recently, he approached me and asked me to pay him back 'his' 500 €. I was a bit shocked since I didn't even know about his investment - apparently my father had told him this was a totally safe investment opportunity where he'd get back his money any time.
I refused to pay or even split the loss, telling him that the real heirs of my father's estate were in the US. I actually tried to reach out to one of these uncles but was unsuccessful. Apparently the 'friend' is hard pressed for cash after the restaurant his brother maintained had to close, leaving him unemployed and later working as a package delivery driver.
AITA for not paying the friend? He has been giving me death stares every time I saw him since, occasionally trying to make me feel guilty by saying things like: "Well, this money doesn't hurt you like it hurts me."
I do not feel responsible for my father's idiotic investment tipps which he gave to people, plus the people's decisions to follow through with them. Am I under a moral obligation to seek out the guy and pay him? ###### | NTA. It's the nature of investments that sometimes they just don't work out. It's a gamble, and he chose to take it.
Think of it this way. If the investment had paid off really well, would he be offering you money in gratitude for your father helping him gain some wealth? Most likely no. ###### |
Okay, so, it's background info o'clock.
I'm 19, M, disabled. I'm autistic, have ADD, and a massive sensory processing disorder (SPD).
Basically, SPD means i'm very sensitive to sensory stimulations and can overload very quickly. I also have prothesis to protect my ears from sound (it's basic but sufficient when I'm not too overloaded).
I was on the bus earlier and had my prothesis on, so I couldn't hear people very well. I also have a small deficiency in my left ear. A middle-aged woman started talking to me on my left side. At first I just did not hear her. That offended her and she taped my shoulder, which made me jump because, I don't like unsolicited contact from strangers (again, autism). I look at her confused and she goes, mockingly:
"Are you deaf, or what?!"
That rubbed me the wrong way because I don't like the idea of someone making fun of deaf people, plus I really didn't want to interact with her. So, I had an idea. I took my phone in Notes and typed:
《Sorry, I can't hear you. My hearing aids battery are dead. Can you sign ?》
She looked at me, blushed heavily and just very loudly "uh, no, it's nothing." and walked away. I was satisfied but then realised that it's kinda rude to impersonate a disability that I don't have, and maybe she wanted to communicate something important to me ? Sure, she walked away but I can't be sure it was nothing. I think I maybe should have avoided that interaction in another way. I don't know. What do you think, AITA ?
(English is not my first language and I'm on mobile) ###### | NTA. It's so insensitive to ask someone if they're "deaf, or what?!", regardless of whether they are wearing prosthesis. You taught her a lesson and hopefully she won't be so offensive in the future. I think that's a small win for the deaf community, and I'm sure they'll give you a pass for this one. Anyone feel free to rebut my statement if it is out of line!
Edit: spelling ###### |
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