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AITA for not speaking to my sister until I get an apology
So I’m currently not speaking to my sister, being stuck inside is getting to her and we’re all a bit tense and fighting more, but over the last few months she’s taken to saying that I constantly insult her and that I’m a horrible sister. Bc of everything this has obviously happened more often and my brother has told me that my sister has repeatedly told my brother I have said that I’m always horrible to her.
For clarification, me and my sister have always got along very well, granted she can be annoying, and act out because she’s young, but I NEVER insult her, the worst I have done is call her out on her bad behaviour but I never insult her, I just don’t. Let alone say the things she’s accusing me of.
I ask her not to eat the strawberries with my name on them that I bought? Tells people I’m calling her fat
I ask her to leave my room bc I wanna be alone bc I’m talking about stuff I don’t want her hearing on the phone? I hate her and don’t wanna speak to her
When we were allowed I spent a lot of time at my boyfriends, in a fit of rage she has repeatedly said she likes it better when I’m not here.
I am tired of being told that I’m horrible and that I constantly insult her when I literally never do, so I’m not speaking to her until she apologises, my mum thinks I should drop it bc “she’s young and sHeS bEcOmInG a TeEnAgEr” and thinks I’m mean, but personally I know she’s extremely smart and picks up on things my mum thinks she doesn’t, and I think at almost 13 years old she’s old enough to take responsibility for her actions since I’ve taken this shit for months. ###### | NTA. People tend to act out at people closest to them. It looks like your sister is doing the same. And considering her age she probably doesn't know how to deal with certain and possibly new feelings/emotions yet. It's always so much easier to make someone else the bad guy than to deal with your emotions. Yay for puberty.
It can also be a very inefficient way to get your attention. As you get older relationships change and the way you spent time together. Try to make some time and do something together that you used to do. Hopefully this will help her break out of this negative focus on you and stop her from overreacting when she's experiencing negative emotions. ###### |
My wife and I had our second baby two months ago. We were pretty indecisive with a name and nothing really shined for us. Eventually one of the options grew on me and turned into my top choice. My wife also liked it but was concerned because a former coworker/friend had used the name for her daughter about a year prior. The name isn't rare but also not one of the most common. Now, she was fairly close with this coworker when they worked together over two years ago and they remain in contact via Facebook and texting. They have only seen each other once in the last 2+ years since my wife left the job despite only living 15 minutes away from each other and my wife doesn't expect this to change. The coworker recently told my wife that she was very upset we used her baby's name and also the same spelling and she is slowly getting over it. Personally I feel obligated to avoid names of family members or close friends but not coworkers that I don't even hang out with outside work. AWTA? ###### | NTA. People pick the same name. They're in no position to demand that you don't use a particular name. If people could "claim" names we'd have far fewer Mikes in the world. ###### |
I've been in between on the issue. I love animals so maybe that's clouding my judgment.
My close friend's brother is Autistic and is classified as high functioning. She's his roommate but will be moving out in June. They have a cat who is a sweetheart. When I sleepover she's my cuddle bug. Sake of the story I'll call her Fluff. For some reason her brother says Fluff is his cat but yells at her constantly for small things like sitting on the sofa, sniffing his clothes, ect. I was disappointed to hear my friend wasn't taking Fluff when she moves out. Her brother just found a potential roommate whose allergic to cats. They plan on giving Fluff away now. Her brother knows this but constantly tells everyone who comes into the house they're getting rid of her because she's a terrible cat. I try to change the subject or leave but he keeps saying it. Well now he's topped it by saying he hopes someone adopts her when she's in the 'pound' but if no one does and she gets euthanized he'll understand. I've tried to shrug this off and say it's his disorder, but the way he treats Fluff and the way he's acting was hurting me I snapped and told him Fluff is leaving for his new roommate, not because she's 'bad', she'll likely find a way better loving home with an owner who actually deserves her. My friend has scolded me for this by reminding me he can't help what he's saying and refuses to let me back in her place until I shape up. Was I wrong here Reddit? ###### | NTA. People need to stop treating autistic people (especially high functioning) like useless babies. He knows that how he is acting isn't appropriate. Good on you for calling him out because, it seems obvious that no one else is holding/teaching him to acting like a decent person. ###### |
So, a little bit of background.
My sister proposed to my mom the idea that her friends come up to our summer house for a week. My mom was super reluctant to say yes. But, on top of that, my grandma is here. My grandma said as long as they socially distance and we take their temperatures that it is ok to have them up here.
Well, my sister knew (and I just found out) that one of the friends families are hosting a pool party with about 20-30 ish people. My sister didn’t tell my mom because she knew if she did it would be cancelled. Obviously. I found out through a friend of mine and promptly told my mom in genuine fear of our health and especially my grandmothers. I had no motive other than that because I had some mutual friends I was happy to hang out with. My sister is now telling her friends what I did and now I feel guilty. I may be the Asshole because I ruined my sisters big plans. But I still feel like I did the right thing. AITA? ###### | NTA. People need to grow up and do the right thing until this is over. You did the right thing, she did not. This is how people get sick, and this is how people die. ###### |
I (21m) plan on proposing to my partner early next year and we have been jokingly talking about it for months and months. what kind of dress she would like and what sort of venue would be perfect etc. the other day we were talking about who would be attending and i immediately said i do not want my dad there, he was never really there for me when i was growing up and had a tendency to be horrible towards me and my two half sisters (mums side of the family) to the point i dont have any good childhood memories of him, then when i was about 11 he just walked out of my life and has only come back in the past year acting like he never did any wrong. my gf of six years having only met my father on 2 occasions and having never really had a proper conversation with him immediately said that i was in the wrong and should invite him regardless of what hes done in the past.
am i the asshole for not wanting him at my wedding? ###### | NTA. People get caught up in blood realations and the idea of "But they're *family*" meaning that you need to forgive them for pretty much anything. They don't get that being related by blood doesn't stop some people from being horrible. ###### |
I(20f) live with my bf(24) and I’m allergic to cats
Last week I came home to find him on the couch petting a very chonky cat. He knows I am allergic but told me that his friend needed to get rid of it so he took it. The cat sheds its fur a lot and my eyes burn, I’m constantly sneezing and I break out in hives. My bf also lets the cat sleep in our bed so I can’t sleep there.
I told him that he needs to get rid of the cat as i feel like absolute shit because of my allergy. I’ve tried taking allergy medicine but it doesn’t work very well for me. WIBTA if I made him get rid of it ###### | NTA. People can't get pets without consulting the other humans they live with. That's just a basic rule of living with others.
It's actually pretty weird that your BF doesn't care about how this is affecting you. Is he planning on getting rid of the cat and this is temporary? ###### |
I know it’s a weird title, sorry. Also on mobile so layout might be strange.
So around a year ago I (M15) was diagnosed with Leukemia. Six months later and I was having a life saving bone marrow transplant. I was in the same room for a month, tired and sleeping 6 hours a day and 12 at night. I have now (almost) fully recovered but my muscles have a while to go before I am back to my fully fit self. I can walk and jump but I can’t run or joy without lots of effort and pain in my joints.
Anyway today I went on a dog walk with my mother (44) and my sister (12). My sister has a brain tumour, diagnosed just a few months after me. Unlucky, I know. She has to wear a splint on her leg and has extremely limited movement in her right arm and leg.
Halfway through the walk our dog, who’s an 18 week old puppy runs to see a dog. My mum is holding the lead and lets go, meaning our puppy can now run off to see the other dog. My mum has for some reason come out wearing sandals and therefore can’t run after him. She doesn’t even make the effort. She instantly looks back at me and yells ‘well run then!’ I say back: ‘I can’t!’ I give a desperate attempt to jog but it hurts too much to run. Our puppy at this point is simply wagging his tail 5 feet away and sniffing the other dog. Not moving anywhere. My mum walks up to him and grabs his lead, then looks back at me and says, ‘it’s like I have to babysit for you all the time. You can’t do anything by yourself. It’s like you’re a 5 year old.’ I can’t argue back because she hates being wrong. She doesn’t take a single bit of the blame even though she dropped the lead in the first place. AITA for not trying to run?
TL:DR I had to have a bone marrow transplant and stayed in a bed for ages, meaning it hurts lots to run. On a dog walk and mum let’s go of lead, expects me to run after dog. I try but can’t. She calls me a 5 year old and makes me feel embarrassed and like an asshole. AITA for not running after the dog? ###### | NTA. People around you should be understanding of your medical conditions and help you out. You can’t help your physical condition and they should understand your limitations and support you. ###### |
Just to note - I'm a 3rd year paramedic student (in my country it's a 4 year degree). Not that it really makes a lot of difference here though.
I have a friend who's been constantly complaining for roughly 2 months now about feeling horribly sick. I believe her, especially within the past week she's looked sick. When asked about symptoms, it's all pretty vague - nonspecific generalized lower abdominal pain, malaise, intermittent fever, headache, etc.
It's every day she's complaining about being sick, and she refuses to go to the doctor because of the current events. I've just been letting her complain to me, and it's pretty annoying. I believe her, it's just overwhelming to hear all the time. It's only 10AM, and she's already started - so I told her to either go to the doctor or stop complaining to everyone. She's angry.
AITA? ###### | NTA. People are usually sick for days or weeks, not *months* (unless it’s something really bad). If this has been going on that long, she needs to see a doctor, because there’s a chance it could be something fairly serious. ###### |
So, me and my boyfriend have been dating for
about 5 1/2 months, and I quit martial arts
because I got bored around the time we started dating, but I want to get back into it after quarantine is over. Its been an ongoing issue with us for the last couple of months because its "dangerous" and I've gotten hurt a couple times before.
He says he feels like when I didn't do a sport like him it was a similarity between us and that similarity will go away if I start martial arts again. But, my mom already signed up for my classes to start again after quarantine. To quit again would be a hassle to convince my mom, and I also love martial arts because it helps me release anger and makes me confident in myself.
I told him that it was unfair of him to ask that of me, because I've been doing martial arts for years. I also brought up to him that he's making me bend over backwards for him even though he always asks me not to do that for people. I gave him my reasons I wasn't going to quit, and then he went off about how he should leave since he's a "horrible boyfriend" and makes me not do the things I like.
Even though he has flaws, I know he isn't a horrible boyfriend. I tried to convince him that he isn't a horrible boyfriend and told him that I wouldn't still be fighting to be his girlfriend if he was horrible. I then just asked for us to make a decision about the break up once we both have a clear mind to think reasonably which I guess he complied with.
I don't know if i'm the asshole here or him. AiTA?
also sorry for the bad formatting, I have no clue how to format. ###### | NTA. Partners should be excited for each other trying new things/being involved with things they love. He doesn't want you to do it because not doing a sport is something you have in common right now? That's a load of crap. He sounds insecure and clingy. ###### |
I guess this is a pet peeve more than anything else, but in my family we always asked if someone wants the last piece of cake, slice of pizza, whatever. That was just the norm for me (and tbh i thought it was like this for everyone, but I guess not my bf). My boyfriend tends to naturally eat more and eat quicker than I do, so I often find myself looking for another pizza slice only to realize he's already eaten the rest of the pie. I've asked him to check with me before he does that and I've reminded him before to not finish everything off cause sometimes I'm still hungry, but he either forgets or doesn't care and often still eats everything. I think he just zones out when he's eating and forgets to double check, but it's seriously getting on my nerves lately.
So now I've just been taking more food than I usually eat, like 3 or 4 pizza slices instead of my normal 2. This way if I DO end up being hungry I actually have food to eat, and if I don't want it I can just put it back. We share food all the time and neither of us are germaphobes or anything. He's been getting annoyed by this and saying I'm being "extra" and he'll just remember to not eat it all, except he's already shown that he can't. Now basically if he wants that 6th slice of pizza, he has to wait until I'm done with my 2 and wait for me to decide if I want a 3rd/4th or not. If I don't then I'll give it to him. This doesn't only occur with pizza btw, but just an example lol. Please also note he's not still hungry or anything, like he's mostly full but just wants some more cause it tastes good or whatever. Anyway AITA? ###### | NTA. Parents need to start teaching their little boys that they don't get to just devour all the good and easy food in the house because they are hungry or just want to eat it. It's mind-boggling to me how many posts there are on here and relationship advice Reddits about full grown men eating all the leftovers or good snacks without thinking of leaving any for anyone else, including their own children. ###### |
My husband is very upset with me for a situation that happened yesterday, just wanting some outside opinions on it.
I am a stay at home mum to a 10 month old and 3 year old. Yesterday my mum invited us around for lunch to catch up with the family which we went to and was fine and my friends wanted to catch up for afternoon tea. I was initially going to take the baby with me which was husband's preferred option to that but as she had had a busy day with no nap so I put her down before I left.
Husband is upset because she woke up after 20 minutes and fell back asleep on him for the duration of me being away. He said he had anxiety that she would wake up and want a milk feed or scream her head off and he wouldn't know what to do and is also upset that we agreed that I would be away for a shorter period of time - I was with my friends for 2 hours then he asked me to pick up tea and the line was long taking about 45 min so was away for 3 hours total.
I felt he should be feeling more comfortable looking after baby as she is 10 months old now, I breastfed her before I left so she didn't need milk and is generally a happy chill wee girl. I suggested he should start doing more for her, especially given I go back to work in 2 months time so she needs to get used to other people looking after her. She was sweet as when I was away by the way. He thinks I'm an asshole for turning it back on him and not seeing his perspective.
So, AITA?
Edit just to add he had hoped to have some time to himself so having little one wake up threw a spanner in the works. He did what he would have done anyway just with child asleep on him, watching Netflix and he gets time to himself in the evenings too while I'm usually up and down with kids not wanting to go to bed.
Also I remembered I got my hair done friday and he looked after the kids for a similar amount of time with no worries. I really don't know what's up ###### | NTA. Parenting is supposed to be done together and watching her for 2 hours shouldn't be too hard, especially when you seem to take care of her the rest of the time. He could and should help you more and/or help you pay for a babysitter because it isn't fair for him to make you take care of her like 99% of the time. ###### |
So, my (22 F) mom (55) is a very passive-aggressive person. She’s not a nice lady, so much so that if my dad (an amazing human being) wasn’t around, I’d write her off forever and not regret a second of the rest of my life. She makes snide and downright tasteless comments about everything in my life, but this time was about my weight. I know I’m over weight, but I’m so tired of her sh*t. She’s not any better than me, she’s been overweight and diabetic my whole life. Her mom died two years ago and had advanced Alzheimer’s. It runs in her family (I’m adopted).
A couple days ago, she said, “one day you’re going to get diabetes and die and I’m not going to feel bad for you.” It had been a long ass day, plus I’m quarantined with this lady, so I said, “Well, you’re going start to lose your mind one day and we’ll see who’s left to take care of you.” She kinda looked at me and left the room.
It’s been 3 days and she hasn’t talked to me. I feel like I may have crossed a line, but I also feel like she might have deserved it after all the soul-crushing stuff she’s said to me my whole life. I can and will list more stuff she’s said if y’all need more context to our relationship. AITA? ###### | NTA. Overweight or not you don’t deserve to be treated like shit. I’d say you gave her exactly what she gave you and nothing uncalled for or excessive. ###### |
So my dog is 4 years old and I just found out she has cancer. The vet said that it was caught early and that with surgery and chemotherapy it’s very likely that she’ll have a full recovery and live a full life like she never had it. The only thing is that she estimates it would cost between 9-10k for the treatment. I don’t have pet insurance, but instead I’ve been putting $100/week into a separate bank account just in case something like this happened.
Now when I told my gf of 2 years about my dog, she asked what I was going to do, since it’s not like she expected me to have that kind of money lying around. And if I hadn’t been saving money specifically for my dog, I probably wouldn’t be able to afford her treatment. When I told her about the money and that I was going to pay for the surgery, she was upset because 1. She didn’t know about the account and 2. I’d be spending so much money when she’s out of a job and struggling. She moved in with me a few months ago and doesn’t have to pay rent. We haven’t really discussed finances that much, but I know being laid off has hurt her.
She thinks that I shouldn’t spend it on my dog and wants me to save the money for if/when we get married or have kids. I told her that I’m going to do it and I’m going to schedule my dogs treatment soon. With all that’s happening, neither of us have been able to spend time away from each other, so we haven’t said much the past 24 hours and she’s still upset that I’m picking my dog over our future. So, AITA for spending so much money on my dog? ###### | NTA. Our cat was only 2.5 when he became very ill. We were also in the midst of a massive (200K) renovation on our house. The vet said, "save him or put him down." It was Christmas, house, 3 kids, 25th wedding anniversary.... When I called hubby I said, "let this be my anniversary and Christmas gift." He is usually quite generous at milestones. He replied, "save the cat but you're still getting Christmas presents." Kids also volunteered to give up their Christmas for him. Cat is 13 now and we've never regretted saving him. ###### |
My sister has two children. One is a girl (age 6) and the other a boy (age 2). When the girl first began to walk she was somewhat “bowlegged” as they called it but it straightened really quickly. The boy, however, has always had it worse and is has having trouble walking. He can stand, even run, but falls almost constantly. At times he appears to be in pain.
My sister took her son to a doctor who confirmed he that his knees caps are basically “slipping”. Braces were prescribed for him and a set were specially fitted. We were told he would only need them for a year or so and then, if not better, we can try surgery. At this moment he’s only worn the braces for 10 minutes. My sister says she can’t stand to see him in them and is afraid others will make fun of him. I know it’s difficult but I tried to tell her he must wear them and if not she’s setting him up for more problems later on. She wouldn’t listen and said I’m just blindly following the doctor without seeing just “his natural progress”. There is none! He’s not getting better at all. The rest of my family is siding with her by always saying “he looks a little better”. There’s been no change and I’m worried he’s going to have major problems with his legs later in life.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Others are telling you to call CPS. Another option would be to call the doctor who prescribed the braces, tell him/her about the situation and see if they would be willing to make a phone call to your sister to request a follow-up appointment where they can disabuse her of the notion of "his natural progress" and emphasize the importance of wearing the braces. You could also tell your sister you will call CPS unless she starts putting her son in braces. Since image is important to your sister, maybe her fear of looking like a bad mom with a CPS record will be worse than the embarrassment of a child in braces. ###### |
So some backstory. I have non epileptic seizures that were pretty bad for a while. At that time, we also didn’t know they weren’t epileptic. I was in and out of hospital, in ICUs and medically induced comas, and couldn’t work. It also wrecked my mental health for a while. At the same time, my brother has been living rent free with my parents and is seen as the golden son, despite a long history of theft, violence, and manipulation.
My family had a pretty serious issue with it. They wouldn’t visit while I was in hospital and refused my wife any help when she asked. Last year around easter, I got an email (while in hospital) that I wasn’t welcome home because my illness was disruptive and my mental health “shenanigans” were not welcome. I was deeply hurt. This was the last straw after a year of limited support and while we’ve worked on things since, they’re still very snippy or dismissive if I mention how my health is improving and the progress I’ve been making.
On one hand, I get it. I was probably a little whiny. We thought I was dying or would need brain surgery. We were scared and needed some support and maybe went about asking for it the wrong way. During this time, my mom also had knee surgery (we didn’t ask for help while she recovered). But it still really feels wrong that a family who insist “family above all” couldn’t even make an effort to see me in hospital or allow me to see them and my niece when doing well enough to travel.
Next month, I’m moving with my wife to be with her family in Hawaii. I’ll be five thousand miles away and I’m planning to significantly reduce contact with my family when I move. Am I the asshole for planning this? Should I be giving them another chance? Or am I in the right to cut them out? ###### | NTA. OP, for your own health and happiness, please avoid people who treat you like this. It's nice of you to show concern for their views, but ultimately, they have shown that they do not really care about you. It's probably a good idea to just move away. ###### |
Today during a Zoom meeting, my colleagues and I were discussing the Pandemic and the topic of Self-Check Outs at Grocery Stores was discussed. I then recalled an incident I had a couple of months ago right before Christmas. Although they were laughing at my story, some of them were saying I was an asshole and disrespecting essential workers. A colleague’s exact words: “Girl, Why you being a bitch?”
I was throwing a party at my home and needed more decorations and etc. So I had a late night visit to the nearby 24/7 Walmart. I went a little crazy and bought literally a cart full of useless crap. As I was waiting in line it became apparent that it was going to take a while as the couple in front of me were using WIC checks and the Cashier was giving attitude and denying what items they could use it for. I was okay with waiting, so I didn’t care. The 2nd cashier closed her register and loudly announced she was going on break. Before long another worker approached me, and this was basically the conversion.
Worker: Please come this way, our self-check out stations are open.
(I hate Self-Check Out and have always refuse to do them)
Me: I’m good. I’ll wait for the cashier. Thanks though.
Worker: But we’re open over here. You can check out yourself.
Me: I don’t mind waiting.
Cashier: (Yelling over the couple) You don’t have to wait. You can check yourself out over there.
Me: I don’t mind waiting. I have a lot of stuff. I rather empty my cart on the belt.
Cashier: Sir, Please move your cart to the self-check out.
(At this point I’m annoyed. The worker was now physical gesturing for me to move and the cashier was no longer checking out the couple.)
Me: I’m sorry. Do I work here? Are you guys offering me a job? (While tipping head to the side)
Basically, security was called and a manger got involved which caused a large line to form and people behind me complaining very loudly.
So Was I? ###### | NTA. One polite "no thanks" should have been enough. Worker could have moved on to the next person after you said no. ###### |
I got divorced when my kids were 4 and 5. Their mother found a new man one year after the split, who she subsequently married and the children have lived with them full time since.
As a single person I’ve struggled financially paying 100% child support as well as my own bills. On the other hand they have had annual foreign ski holidays as they’ve had a double income as well as the child support payments. My ex and I really don’t get along.
I’ve accepted the financial situation always with no issue, pay the child support, live a low cost lifestyle. The kids and I have a great relationship and see eachother weekly. Two years ago I met my current partner, we now live together and our income is about the same as my ex and her husband, although I’m a long way behind financially.
My older child finishes school and turns 18 in November. I no longer have to legally pay child support. She will however go on to college and is likely to stay living with my ex. She earns enough through her part time job for her own spending money, fuel etc.
I don’t want to pay my ex any more. I know that she’ll say I should as our child still lives with her and I can afford it, but I’d really rather put it towards my mortgage as I’m over 50.
I’d be happy to contribute $ if she moved out, but this is unlikely. I’d also be happy to have my child move in with me, but this is unlikely.
AITA for not wanting to give my ex any more child support money?
TLDR : I don’t want to pay my ex child support after our child turns 18, even though our child lives with her. ###### | NTA. Once your child is 18, you could always arrange to give her some money directly? It could be a regular thing, or an "Here I have some spare bucks this week" or "here, I can pay for that thing for you". Whatever agreement you come to, with your child. Leave your ex out of the equation after 18. ###### |
Little back story... my wife is a bartender and is working cut hours right now. She’s works with this guy we’ll call Jim.
One day hanging out at home she thinks who she believe is Jim. Goes to work the next day, finds out it was indeed him and he lives in our complex. So she gives him a ride home because he doesn’t have a car, they stop at specs on the way home. Upon coming home I look out the window to see her walking with jim to his building across the street. She says she’s going to meet his gf. Turns out she is asleep and the guy just wanted to drink and chill. Which I was NOT cool with. Fast forward and this happens a couple more times. I’ve let her know I’m not okay with this, I don’t know him and I’m sick of this guy asking you to hang out.
Now it’s last night, she’s about to get off and I see her on find my friends driving around a random parking g lot after work, then specs, and Then she text me and says she’s off taking him back to his hotel... he doesn’t live in our complex anymore? He’s at a hotel now? So now I’m pissed. She gets there and I see that she stops the car and goes inside. For 10 minutes or so. Let the fighting begin.
AITA for getting my at my wife continually giving a guy a ride home and then going into his hotel after I told her I didn’t like it? ###### | NTA. Once you told her you didn't like it it should've either stopped or she should've discussed with you, not disregard your feelings. ###### |
Throwaway for obvious reasons, mandatory apology for the bad formatting.
I (19f) have a friend, lets call him Thomas, basically hes been on a paypig website, ( men will pay money to have women insult them or humiliate them) on this website its mainly anonymous, a fake screen name and a few photos, and there aren't many gay guys he can profit from, that being said hes asked to use my pictures to essentially catfish these guys. At first i didn't have an issue with this, he said we'd split the profit 50/50. He would ask me to send pictures with my finger on my nose, things like that because the guy wanted to know if it was really me etc. No big deal.
Hes made about 2000 dollars since this has started, and we've split it evenly. I asked him to stop using my photos because the requests for photos he'd been asking me for were getting extreme and making me uncomfortable.( pictures of me trying to lick my toes things like that) He agreed and understood.
Im just finding out that hes been getting photos off my snapchat stories, and my instagram to use and send to these guys while still making money. I asked him about it and he said hed send me 100 dllars out of the 1000 he made. I asked for the 500, because A) Its me in the photos and B) because i asked him to stop. He sent me the money and has been really passive aggressive.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Once you decided you didn’t wAnt to do this anymore, they should have been it. For him to keep using your photos is a major betrayal of your trust. Sounds like it’s tine to block him on all of your social media accounts. ###### |
This morning my mom (54F) asked me (24M) for $15k randomly. She has found that if she opens a new bank account and it has that amount for 3 months in it she will get $500 from the bank. I was pretty taken aback by this so I asked if I could think about it. She responds with going “Woooow, really?” and has been guilt tripping me for the past hour about it.
The thing is I live at home and do have the money and my expenses aren’t too bad with my salary so it wouldn’t cause me any problems other than the main reason for her getting a bank account: her and my dad (55M) are getting a divorce. If he were to find out about this money I know he would try to claim it as joint assets and I would end up losing it. My mom says he wouldn’t do that but she has been so naive about this whole divorce. She believes he is going to be all nice about everything and leave her the house and all the money in the joint bank account but ever since she told him she wanted a divorce he has been systematically destroying things in the house “by accident”. Hell, he still hasn’t moved out after 10 months and refuses to chip in for house expenses so I have been paying most of it.
Another thing is she has the same amount of funds in her savings so she could do it herself no problem. She keeps saying I “failed the test” and I don’t trust her. I would give her the money if she was already divorced from my dad because I don’t trust him at all. So AITA? ###### | NTA. Once the money is in an account that is under her name you have no control over it and she can spin whatever narrative she likes to anyone who questions it. Or she can simply hold it over your head to control you. ###### |
I'm 33 weeks pregnant, still working full time in an active job (classed as a key worker) and have been told recently that the baby isn't growing as well as it should be and we may have to deliver early.
My partner has recently started working part time (after being furloughed from part time) and has always had this annoying habit of putting his phone on flight mode whenever he sleeps or takes a nap.
I've brought up to him several times that he should just turn off all notifications (if he wants to sleep undisturbed), as he will be unreachable, if there was an emergency and he could very well miss the birth of his first (and probably only) child.
The last time I said this to him was yesterday and still his phone was on flight mode when I messaged him after work today.
I think it's a dick move for him to have put his phone on flight mode, given the circumstances and sent him a message, basically telling him that if he puts his phone on flight mode again, then I won't inform him if I go into early labour or the date when the c-section gets booked for, as he obviously doesn't care if he misses the birth of his child.
AITA? ###### | NTA. On every phone I know of you can set up "do not disturb" to let particular numbers go through. It's absurd for him to make himself totally unreachable given that you could need an emergency delivery at any point.
Also congratulations, I hope all goes well for you and the baby. ###### |
So I (24m) and my (24f) wife where sleeping in our bed. Now our bed faces a vent. So i woke up and i saw that something was in there. And i have never noticed,but my mom had put a CAMERA in that vent my mother is a narcassist i went NC with her when i hit 18. And when i saw that camera i thought " holy shit theres a pervert who likes to watch my and my wife sleep". then i found all of the cameras and bugs my mother put. oh and how she got in was she contacted my dad who i still talk to and lied to him and told him to give her a key to my house to " go feed and take care of my dog" because " I was away" but i was just at work. anyways i took the cameras and bugs to the police station they found out it was my mom and i pressed charges. so i want to know. am i the ass for doing so ###### | Nta. Omg camera in the room facing the bed? As in recording you guys being intimate? I hope that's as illegal as it sounds. That's so wrong and disgusting. Damn right you should sue her or have her prosecuted! It makes my skin crawl to even imagine, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Good luck. ###### |
We are all teens if that changes anything. A few times a week me (male), one other guy, and 3 girls go jogging together. We are all neighbors. Me and the guy don't wear shirts and the girls don't either they just wear their bras.
My girlfriend was reluctant to join but she decided to come once. Afterwards she told me she didn't want me jogging shirtless with other shirtless girls. She said it makes her feel bad because the girls are attractive, have bigger boobs, are wearing short shorts, are showing cleavage, and they might like seeing me shirtless. I reassured her I only want her but she insisted I stop. I refused.
She says she won't break up with me over it but that I'm being an ass by continuing. ###### | NTA. Omg - what’s going to happen when you go to a beach of swimming pool? ###### |
So this actually happened when I was 16 (I’m 20M currently), but it still makes me mad and I just want to know if I was the asshole.
I’m the oldest of 10 kids (I only lived with 8 of them the 9th was born after) and I have always looked after my siblings. The oldest 4 are 13+ and the youngest 6 are 8 and below. My family is a blended family consisting of me, two full siblings, 3 half sisters, 1 step brother, two adopted sisters, and a “step” sister.
So my stepmom routinely liked to perform whole house checks if someone pissed her off. Kind of like how you see in those prison shows when they rip the prisoners bunks apart except she did that with the whole house. Now my stepmom and I used to get along until these became a regular thing. She would constantly invade our space and then make us clean up the mess.
As a teenager I kept multiple journals diaries and notebooks. Like I could fill a medium sized duffel bag with how many I had. And instead of voicing how I felt when I was upset I would right it down. I will admit, there were nasty things in there. But kids think of nasty things in the moment when they’re mad.
I’m not sure what had originally set her off but my stepmother was livid. We were all supposed to head downstairs so she could search the upstairs. I hid my diary knowing that she would ground me until I graduated if she saw it. Of course she found it, read it, and was even more angry. So angry that she sat me down and just exploded on me. Calling me all sorts of names saying how I’m ungrateful for everything.
The thing is though, what I wrote about her was true. She didn’t parent more than one kid. Ever. I’ve been a parent since I was 11 and that didn’t stop when my dad married her. She was also super controlling the whole time I lived there. She still claims that she did nothing wrong and that’s just parenting, but I strongly disagree. We aren’t on good terms now and my dad tries to stay out of it. So reddit. AITA? ###### | NTA. Older kids aren't free babysitters. Older kids aren't fill-in-parents. Older kids deserve their childhood and teenage and adulthood. If parents decide to have more than one kid and can't handle it, it's on the parent. What you wrote was what you were feeling in your diary. What she did was an invasion of privacy and I don't think you're wrong at all. ###### |
Me (28M) and my girlfriend (32F) have been together for 9 months and we currently live together in rented accommodation. We split everything evenly between us but pay for our own personal things, make up, computer games etc.
A few months ago upon leaving work I noticed a scratch down the side of my car across both doors and some of the rear. The quote I got for repairing of the damage was more than I could afford but I drive for work occasionally so wanted the car to look presentable. I asked my girlfriend to help me out so I could comfortably make rent payment and she refused saying this is a personal cost and not her problem.
We didn’t argue and I wasn’t too taken back as she is right and it’s not like I couldn’t use the car with the minor damage.
Fast forward to last week and my girlfriend upon returning from work scrapped the side of my car whilst parking outside of the house. The damage is much more significant to my vehicle than hers.
Upon discussing the matter she said that she will pay for her damages and I must pay for mine.
I said to her that this was unfair and she said ‘life’s unfair’ and the conversation ended there. I tried to discuss it with her one more time and she didn’t give me the time of day.
I got a quotation for the repair which exceeds what I think is reasonable for me to pay so I contacted my insurance and made a claim, having all of her details at hand. Today she stormed into the room screaming at me saying how selfish I was and that I should start handling my own responsibilities like an adult.
Am I the asshole here? I’ve tried my best to speak with her but it looks like it’s going to be a very lonely pandemic for me.
Thanks in advance for all the feedback. ###### | NTA. Oh, the irony. She fucks up your car and wants you to handle your own responsibilities? Pretty sure when you fuck up someone else’s property, it’s your adult responsibility to fix it. ###### |
My boyfriend and I have lived together for over a year and we had birth control failure (broken condom) that resulted in me getting pregnant just a few months into the relationship.
The entire time I was pregnant I worked full time and was getting put on best eat quite a bit. He would not keep a job. He would not get along with management, they didn’t like him, they were picking on him, they wanted him to work longer hours or whatever excuse he could find to quit.
He’s also a chain smoker and always needing cigarettes or being very angry and rude when he didn’t have them. Well my son was born early and he needed to be in the NICU. I figured since my bf didn’t have a job that he would stay at the hospital with me.(2 1/2 hours away from our house) he then announced he got a new job and I could stay with the baby and he was going home (our son was given a 50:50 chance to even come home)
I was angry but I let him go hoping he was going to straighten up. Fast forward and our son is home and on oxygen and Of course my boyfriend isn’t working again and I’m pulling doubles. I make enough with my paychecks to pay the bills but I’ve been hiding my tip money in a wax candle burner it’s broken so it doesn’t turn on. I’ve saved quite a bit because if I don’t hide it then he takes it to buy pack after pack of cigarettes.
I know it’s dishonest but it’s the only extra money I have. Well he was messing around and hit the corner shelf where I keep the cash and it fell on the floor and money spilled out. He scolded me for hiding money from him and that he was suffering from nicotine withdrawal and that he couldn’t believe how selfish I was and that I was a liar and all this other stuff. AITA? ###### | NTA. Oh my god, run. Run far away from him.
Your premature baby has come home from the NICU, is on oxygen, and your boyfriend is still chainsmoking?? I’m not even going to touch the fact that he feels entitled to your money despite literally everything else you’ve written in this post. ###### |
So as far as I’m concerned this is 100% gross... but another person told me that it’s nothing and I would be rude to bring it up to my roommate.
My roommate - every month - leaves her pads wide open, laying face up on top of the trash. I’m talking fully used, bloody pads. Face up. I wouldn’t care if someone just did this in their own private bathroom, but this is a bathroom that our guests use when we have them over, and it’s clear that my roommate never tries to fold the pads up or tuck them in the side of the trash. It’s honestly startling to walk in to the bathroom and see that everyday for a week, lol. And it’s just plain embarrassing when I notice it after our guests have already used the bathroom. Plus it smells sometimes.
(Btw the trash has no lid and you’re pretty much looking right at it when you walk in, it’s not under a sink or anything.)
I have 3 other roommates and some of them feel similarly, but a couple other people I asked said to ignore it and not get so worked up about it. I’m really tempted to bring this up to her, but I’m a guy. Is it inappropriate for me to say something to her about it? It really needs to stop. I grew up in a house full of girls and this never happened, the pads were always wrapped up in the trash. But I also don’t know if it’s my place to bring it up to her, or how I would even bring it up. AITA? ###### | NTA. Oh fuck no. That’s shit is disgusting. She’s gotta learn some damn manners ###### |
Mostly anxiety speaking here. I have a mentally disabled sister, physically she is an almost 40 year old woman but mentally she is about 15 months old. My parents feed her, shower her, dress her, etc. I struggle extremely with the fact that when my parents are gone, that I will have to take care of her. It kills me that she is disabled. The thought of doing all that everyday for years with disregard to my own life, I can’t handle it. There were times in my teen years that I resented her, I had to rush back home to take care of her while my parents were gone. I had no childhood. AITA for cringing at the thought of taking care of her? For not feeling anything towards her? For feeling uncomfortable at the thought of washing her? For not wanting this role? ###### | NTA. Of course you are not the asshole. That is a huge emotional, physical and financial burden and it is completely understandable that you dread that amount of responsibility. Just because you love someone, that doesn't mean you can't want your own life and identity. I don't think that is selfish, or if it is, it is completely acceptable. Is it possible that your parents will leave you the means to pay for someone to take care of her? Then you can visit whenever you want, but still know that she is being looked after by professionals. People who are in the right mental space for such a responsibility.
Please forgive yourself for wanting out. You have already sacrificed so much. ###### |
One of my closest male friends is pansexual and his parents are not supportive of that, nor would they be supportive of their male-child wearing makeup. He has expressed to me that he wants to paint his nails and wear eyeliner. I am more than willing to buy/teach him how to use eyeliner, but I feel like it would be bitchy of me to do it without his parents knowing about it. So, Reddit, WIBTA if I bought my friend eyeliner without his parents knowing about it?
Edit 1:
For those asking or planning on asking, I am 14 and my friend is 15.
Edit 2: Typo ###### | NTA. Of all the ways to "rebel" and to express yourself, this has to be the least harmful. Makeup and polish can be removed, after all. Hair regrows. I don't understand parents who oppose this. ###### |
My SIL is an aspiring author, and has been working on a full book series for a few years now. She plans to self-publish, and has been having a hard time deciding on what her book covers will look like, since she doesn’t want blank covers. I’m an artist by hobby, and would like to make it my main means of income eventually. I’m not a known artist by any means honestly, and my SIL knows that I’m working on getting my art out there. So she approached me about making the art for her book covers, and started playing up how it’s going to get my art attention.
Initially, I was interested, but when I mentioned payment for my work, she wouldn’t talk about it and started saying that we can “work something out later.” She won’t even name what she would be willing to pay, and I told her unless she’s paying me, she’s not getting my art. She’s also started watching me as I draw, and makes a noticeably disgusted face when I put my artist signature on the piece.
She eventually brought up the topic of me supplying her cover art again, and specifically asked that I not put my signature on the pieces. I reminded her that I hadn’t even agreed to do her covers, and asked why she didn’t want my watermark on the pieces. She said it was ugly and took the focus off her book title and her own name. So I asked that if I did the works, “would I be paid and credited for the cover work?” She got upset and said I’m being greedy and should just help her because we’re family, and that she gets free art from her friends all the time. I told her to get her free art from her friends then, I will not be working for free.
SIL stormed off to her room after that, and her friends on Facebook have been calling me an ass for not being willing to help a beginner author make a good-looking book. It’s starting to make me second guess my decision to not supply the art for her books.
AITA or is she just being unreasonable? ###### | NTA. Obviously NTA. She's 100% the asshole. If she won't pay or give credit, she is not only disrespecting you and artists as a whole, she's delusional. If she can get it free, she should go do just that. ###### |
In my group of friends a girl has had a crush on me for quite a long time, it was cute at first but it steadily got more and more annoying as she didn't seem to understand that I was not interested at all. Myself and the group of friends were talking the other day whilst drinking and the conversation somehow got round to fanfiction, it's never been my thing so I wasn't really talking. Said girl however was very animated about it as it seems she writes her own and even draws pictures for it.
She must have been rather drunk as she ended up sending me a link to it out of the blue then deleted the message the next morning. I hadn't read it so still had the notification so decided to check it out. I didn't read much but what I did see was very very creepy. The main character is either me or heavily based off me and the drawings she does for each chapter are very clearly me in a gay relationship.
I was creeped out so dropped her a message and asked her if the character was me, she replied "Yeh...do you like it?", I replied that I didn't and found it very creepy. I asked her to stop involving me in her story and drawings, I got no reply to this.
I thought it was the end of this a few weeks later the subject was brought up again and I decided to check her profile out again. Lo and behold she's not stopped and has just continued. I was annoyed by this so just said in the video chat "Hey, I asked you to stop write creepy fan fiction about me, why haven't you?" and linked her story in the chat. She promptly left the video chat and then all the group chats.
One of her friends told me to apologise because she's highly embarrassed and doesn't want to come back to the chat. ###### | NTA. number one rule of fanfic, don't show it to the creators/actors. you were made aware, it IS creepy, and she hasn't stopped even though you asked. you can go to the website and make a complaint and maybe the mods will take it down.
look at the author of *After*. it was a Five Direction fanfic and the band has blocked her on all social media and want nothing to do with her. ###### |
Asking for a friend who does not have Reddit.
My neighbor and I have lived in the same subdivision for over fifteen years. We used to be friendly because our kids were friends, but as they grew apart, so did we. We were never especially close, she’s one of those people who asks for advice and then does what she wants anyway, which can be frustrating and part of why I never wanted to be overly involved in her drama. This all came to a head two years ago, when she asked me to come with her to another neighbor’s kid’s graduation party and neither me nor my kid wanted to go (not only that, but we really hadn’t been invited, except as an afterthought via text the day before). For whatever reason, this really upset her, and we haven’t spoken since.
Out of the blue yesterday, I get a phone call from her husband asking if I would make them all face masks because I’m “so creative”. She then also called me and texted asking if I knew how to pay the homeowners dues (as I said, we’ve all lived here for almost 20 years - how could she not know?) I do sew and I made a few fabric face masks for relatives and a close friend. They’re probably not especially protective or official, but they’re cute and I made them for my friends/family as a gift, because I wanted to. They take a long time to put together, they’re kind of tedious, which is why I’m not going out of my way to make a bunch of them - they’re not really worth donating to hospitals or anything, as I said they’re more for a fun project than anything else.
I haven’t responded to either her or her husband yet, part of me feels guilty and that I should just do it, but another part of me feels like I don’t owe something to a woman who cut me off completely over two years ago. AITA? ###### | NTA. Now that they want something they contact you? As you said, your masks aren't really for protection so much anyway. They don't need them, and you dont owe them anything. ###### |
I’m a young, single father of two boys (from two different woman if that’s relevant). My older (elementary school age) son decided that since It’s on me I work twice as hard at being a parent. He wanted to honour me today for all I do, so I let him, he picked out a cookie cake for me, made me a card with his brother and help make breakfast with me this morning.
I posted a picture of what they did for me on Facebook. I was surprised at the amount of Negative messages I got from people about my post. Several people told me that it was rude to make this day about me when I already have Father’s Day to celebrate.
Am I the asshole for letting my kids do something special for me today? ###### | NTA. Nothing wrong with your kids wanting to support you. If they don’t have a mom to support today, it’s much healthier to support you than sit around bereft all day. ###### |
So, this is the story. I (17M) have a girlfriend (17F), we have been together for 2 years now. Since we started dating my mom has always had some things she dislikes, for example, me going to her house (while her parents were there) because she doesnt approve that. And I respect her opinion and have said to her she can have her opinion but I dont have to do it the way she wants me to do it. Recently I suggested going to the seaside with my friends and she supported it until I said my girlfriend might also go with us when she made a scene and forbid me to go if she goes. Today I told my mom I will invite my girlfriend to celebrate my name day and she went crazy, saying its not normal to go to someones house before marrying them, asking do her parents know (of course they know) and stuff like that. She attacked me and I said that she doesnt need to involve herself in my relationship as I do not in her marriage. Im on no speaking terms with my mom now and honestly, Im not sorry. Just dont know what to do anymore. Our relationship is awesome, my girlfriend is the most loving, caring person I know and I dont want to lose her. ###### | NTA. Nothing dangerous or illegal is going on. You are a 17 year old you should be able to go out with friends and have a girlfriend. This is especially when she gave you the ok but then said no when you said your girlfriend was going. I don't know what kind of cultural vendetta she has against your girlfriend, maybe she thinks you will get inappropriate or something? ###### |
I was having lunch with a friend of mine when the topic of dating came up, I told her I wasn’t dating anyone right now and was keen to get back out there.
She mentioned that she had a friend that she thinks I would be a good match with and was also looking to start dating too. She took out her phone and showed me a picture, I was pleasantly surprised and said set it up. She said she would message her and send a picture of me to her too.
Then she said that it might not be soon as she has trouble finding a babysitter, I said oh, she has a kid? My friend said 2. I was a little disappointed and I think my friend picked up on that and she said if that was a problem? I said yes honestly, I’d prefer to date someone without kids. My friend said but you liked her picture and I said yes, she is really pretty but dating moms aren’t my thing and are more trouble than they are worth.
She looked a little offended and said you’ve told me you wanted kids one day, I said yes my own not someone else’s. She sat and look perplexed and said I was a dick for turning her down for that reason. I told her I’m sure she’s nice, just not for me. Lunch ended quickly after this. I later got a text saying I disappointed her and she would never try and set me up again. I just replied with I’m sorry you feel that way but we all have our standards.
AITA here? ###### | NTA. Not wanting to date a single parent is totally normal, and a reason why dating apps have filters. Also, I think your friends friend would understand. I work with a single mom (she’s maybe 32) of three boys all under the age of ten. When we first met, she flat out told me she is single and recognizes having more than one kid is a deal breaker for some men. And she’s fine with it, because she can’t control what they find attractive.
You’re not a dick, and it is unfortunate your friend got offended. ###### |
My boyfriend has a tendency to spend his entire day in discord with his friends when he is home. I normally do not care that he is spending time in their with his friends unless I am spending time with him doing something. He will oftentimes join a voice chat and sit in discord while we spend time together playing video games. I have told him repeatedly that it makes me feel like the time we spend together is cheapened because he often responds to his friends and chats with them, t when this happens it makes me feel like his attention isn't all there.
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I have asked him to stop joining voice chats when we spend time together, or to leave them if he is in one if we are going to start playing a game without his friends. He absolutely loses his mind and goes off about how I hate his friends, that I wan't to control him and who he talks to etc. I'm not asking him to never join back, just spend the hour or two we are doing something together without joining the chat. He also uses arguments like "I said maybe two or three things to them while we played our game." when those two or three things weren't just a quick word but rather a discussion with his friends.
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I've told him I wouldn't expect him to be ok with me sitting on my phone and having a conversation with someone while we went on a date, or out to dinner, he say's 'it's different' the gyst of it is I can't stand when he does it so I will ask him if he is in discord and if he is to please leave. If he joins a discord channel I will ask him to leave. this is only when we are spending time together. ###### | NTA. Not unreasonable. Sounds like he is, and needs to grow up ###### |
My SIL is an aspiring author, and has been working on a full book series for a few years now. She plans to self-publish, and has been having a hard time deciding on what her book covers will look like, since she doesn’t want blank covers. I’m an artist by hobby, and would like to make it my main means of income eventually. I’m not a known artist by any means honestly, and my SIL knows that I’m working on getting my art out there. So she approached me about making the art for her book covers, and started playing up how it’s going to get my art attention.
Initially, I was interested, but when I mentioned payment for my work, she wouldn’t talk about it and started saying that we can “work something out later.” She won’t even name what she would be willing to pay, and I told her unless she’s paying me, she’s not getting my art. She’s also started watching me as I draw, and makes a noticeably disgusted face when I put my artist signature on the piece.
She eventually brought up the topic of me supplying her cover art again, and specifically asked that I not put my signature on the pieces. I reminded her that I hadn’t even agreed to do her covers, and asked why she didn’t want my watermark on the pieces. She said it was ugly and took the focus off her book title and her own name. So I asked that if I did the works, “would I be paid and credited for the cover work?” She got upset and said I’m being greedy and should just help her because we’re family, and that she gets free art from her friends all the time. I told her to get her free art from her friends then, I will not be working for free.
SIL stormed off to her room after that, and her friends on Facebook have been calling me an ass for not being willing to help a beginner author make a good-looking book. It’s starting to make me second guess my decision to not supply the art for her books.
AITA or is she just being unreasonable? ###### | NTA. Not only is she refusing to pay for your time and effort, she doesn’t want you to take credit for your work via your signature? That’s not “being family” as she so claims, that’s being a selfish brat. ###### |
Me and my boyfriend, both 21, have been together for about a year. I was visiting him when we went into lockdown so I’ve been staying with him and his family. For the most part I really get on with them, his parents have made some disapproving comments about me but I’ve enjoyed it here for the most part.
This coming Sunday the local church will be hosting its usual mass, and with my boyfriends parents being extremely religious, are obviously going. I’ve never ever been to church, and was brought up told to choose my religion (or none at all) when I was old enough. My boyfriend isn’t that religious either, but goes to keep his mum happy. I told him I didn’t want to go because in all honesty I think it’d just make me uncomfortable, and he told me it was just an hour of my life and to just go and “sit pretty”, which kind of pissed me off. I’ve been through a lot in my life and, although I greatly respect religions and religious people, I don’t believe in it at all.
He told his mum and it’s started some kind of war in this house, with my boyfriends younger brother saying he’s not going if I’m not. I was never rude about any of it at all. His mum is saying I’m not of the same “social status” as his family and he therefore shouldn’t be with me. My boyfriend is pissed at me saying I should’ve just went along with it to keep the peace. AITA? ###### | NTA. Not only do you have the right to exercise freedom of religion (or from religion), churches are not the safest places to be during the pandemic for a variety of reasons. On top of that, your boyfriend’s mother is being condescending and self-righteous, and your boyfriend is getting way too upset over your decision. You two are gonna need to have a serious discussion about this matter, lest it rear its ugly head further down the line. ###### |
I have several children and I always try to let them express themselves anyway they want. My boys all have really long hair.(to their butts long)I love it, they love it. But their grandmother hates it. She says “They look like girls” or “You are going to turn them gay”
Anyway yesterday my middle son (7) went to his grandmothers house (she lives a few houses away so he rode his bike there) to pick up his game system. My MIL asked if he could stay and help her plant some veggies. I said sure
About 2 hours later I heard my son crying and I saw him riding his bike home. I was initially upset because I like to watch him going to and coming from his grandparents house. But then I noticed his hair.
She didn’t cut it all off just to his shoulders. He said while he was planting grandma came behind him with the gardening scissors and cut off his pony tail
When I confronted her she told me it was just hair. I told her she is not allowed to talk to my children again (maybe an overreaction). But I just continued to yell and swear at her. My anger boiled over and I called her things like “worthless” “disgusting” etc. It went on until my husband pulled me away
My husband said his mother is hurt. And that i overreacted to a haircut. Today my son seems fine. We evened out his hair and he’s rocking a Mohawk that he loves
But was I TAH for yelling ###### | NTA. Not only did she disrespect you, the parent, by crossing a huge line in cutting your kid's hair, but she also crossed a huge line with your kid. She violated your child's bodily autonomy by coming up behind him and cutting his hair without asking him. That's not okay. Sure, maybe you said some harsh things in the moment, but IMO that's pretty justified. And she definitely shouldn't see your kids alone at least until she sincerely apologizes and both you and your kids feel comfortable with it.
Also, does she say the things about "turning them gay" in front of the kids? Because...that's a big yikes. One of them may be gay, and they'll definitely know peers who are as they grow up, and knowing a relative is bigoted like that sticks with you even if they change their tune down the road. ###### |
A bit of back story: About a month ago me and my friends were out and while my friend was driving he spun out his car and we got pulled over. I didn't know at the time but the fucker at a wax pen on him, we all got sent to a holding cell for our parents. They let me and my buddy off light cause we had no idea and we were just passengers to the whole thing. But my buddy got his license revoked and is practically grounded till senior year (we are sophomores). Word got around about the wax pen and EVERYONE at my school knew about it. As for my sister, she is a year older than me and our parent's go on trips for their anniversary and she and a couple of her friends did a couple lines of cocaine. I didn't find out till I overheard them in the kitchen and she made me promise not to tell.
My sister has teased me constantly over this wax pen, I don't even like smoking weed and I didn't even know he had it. I get called a "stoner" and all sorts of things, and whenever m in my room she bangs on the door saying that I'm smoking in there, its annoying as hell.
At dinner we got into a little argument over something I don't even remember but she said something like "I bet you want to go smoke a big fat fucking joint huh? You drug addicted loser". I had enough of her calling me a stoner or whatever when SHE was the one who actually has done drugs. (this is where I might be TA) I said "Oh yeah? At least I didn't do this" and then did the hand motions for snorting coke. Mom and dad were in the living room so they didn't see it. She called me and AH and went to her room without even finishing dinner.
Apparently our brother who's 2 years younger than me knew what I was doing and told on her. She got grounded and my sister is PISSED at me, I don't feel like I did anything wrong cause I wasn't the one who snitched and she was constantly provoking me. AITA? ###### | NTA. Not one bit. If she cannot take it, she shouldn't serve it. She's in problems because of what she did. Cocaine is a lot more serious than weed, and you didn't even did weed! Your brother was the one snitching on her, so no ot even that is on you. He made a judgement call. She is pissed and looking for anyone else to carry the guilt, but her. ###### |
Ok, this all started last week. My little sister is great and I love her but she is impulsive. She got a kitten a few months and all was great! She’s an awesome pet owner and it’s doing good! Well, she saw someone had these adorable balls of fluff for sale last week and thought, “fuckin gimme!” And got another one without another thought! She then texts me later that day, “The kitten and my cat don’t get along, can you take the kitten?” Well, my cat was put in the kitten room at the HS because he’s so laid back plus he could lose a few pounds. Sure, why not? So, I pick him up the next day and my big kitty and the kitten get along just fine! I post on FB “Macklemore (big one) and Kenny Rogers Jackass (kitten) (Kenny for short)” keep in mind that little sis has this kitten for a whole-ass day and hadn’t named him yet! She texted me saying I either need to give him back or change his name because it’s an awful name and I shouldn’t be allowed to name pets. I told her to pound sand and the kitten has a vet appointment this week and the paperwork is already official.
AITA? ###### | Nta. Not her cat anymore. ###### |
I work remotely (all the time, not just because of COVID-19). I make over two-thirds of our household income and am generally really busy during working hours. My husband is currently “working from home”, but his job is such that he doesn’t have to actually do anything. He’s been sleeping until noon, playing video games, smoking weed, and going out to do fun things with friends.
A lot of mornings I’ll be at my computer working and he will come in and want me to take a “sex break”. I don’t like doing this - I’m only a few months into my job and some of my responsibilities are time sensitive. I also struggle to enjoy sex when I know I should be doing something else so it would end up as me providing sex for him (which is not uncommon in our relationship, really). I usually tell him I’m working and then he will watch me and if I do so much as look at my phone while I’m waiting for something at work he will say something like “oh you’re soooo busy” and get grouchy.
I’m really, really annoyed by this and have told him that I can’t just fuck off from my job to have sex with him. I’ll offer to have sex later when I get off work, but by then he’s usually off fishing or high. AITA? ###### | NTA. Not even remotely the A. Your husband is an entitled prick if he expects you to perform on demand just because you happen to be in the same location, especially if he's asking for this while you're actively doing work.
It not being uncommon for you to end up "providing sex for him" is a bigger concern, honestly: I never understand why or how guys can even enjoy it if their partner isn't. Is this something you've talked to him about? ###### |
I am 14 and I have a 16 year old sister. My dad divorced my mom because he did not love her and I could tell there relationship was very stale. Anyway my dad found some one else and started dating when I was 10. I loved my dad and have a great relationship with him. Me and my family live in California so you can see that living expenses are really expensive.
Anyway me and my dad moved into his new wife's house and I have been staying there and like my new step mom a lot. My mom and sister are very jealous as my sister disowned my dad for being leaving his wife. Right now I am staying at my moms apartment. My dad recently bought me my first phone which is an iphone xr which is an amazing device.
My sister is stuck with a 300 dollar phone so she is jealous. Anyway I was using the restroom and then I heard a loud noise like glass shattering. I went and discovered that my sister has destroyed my phone and ruined the screen and the back as the phone has glass on the back. My sister took it out of the case. My sister then yelled fuck that bitch referring to my dad.
I was stunned I called my mom and told her what happened my mom could care less and told me to go ask dad to fix it cause he is rich. I told her that she should ground my sister. My mom refused telling me it's not sisters fault she does not get good things and that sister has every right to destroy property coming from dad. She said be glad you even got a phone to begin with and told me that I have no right to ask for my sister to be grounded. I might be the ass for asking for something that I should not be able to ask for as I am a kid not an adult. So I might not make proper decisions. ###### | NTA. Not at all. I cannot believe your mother would say it would be okay to destroy any kind of property, what kind of parent does that? I'm sure she must be hurt because your dad has a new wife and all that, but it is NOT okay to destroy someone else's property like your sister did, and especially not when it cost a lot of money. You're definitely not the ass, I would ask for a punishment if my (older) sibling were to destroy something expensive I got. ###### |
So my gf and I have been live together for about 6 months, she moved a few hours away from her home to live with me. This was her moms first visit here this weekend.
I’m currently on night shift for a few weeks, I work 7pm to 7am with 2 hours drive time to and from. I went to bed around 11 and the gf’s mom was coming that day, she got here around 12. My gf told her to be quiet since I’m working nights so sleeping during the day.
At around 12:30 she comes in my room, wakes me up and tells me “stop being so lazy, you don’t need to sleep all day, now help carry my bags from my car”. I flipped out, told her to fuck off and grab her own bags and stay out of my room. I had about 1.5h of sleep so far so not in a good mood. Well let’s just say she turned into a miserable cunt all weekend.
So aita here? Did I go too far ###### | NTA. Nope. This woman crossed some serious boundaries. Third shift workers sleep during the day and deserve to be left alone. Sounds like this woman needs to stay in a hotel with a bellman if she can’t heft her own luggage. ###### |
Ok. I am a sophomore in high school and this happened last year when I was a freshmen. My class went on a school trip to another country, (this is easy since I live in Europe.) The first couple of days went fine, but on the third night something happened. The kids in the room next to me decided to play really loud music in the middle of the night, and since the hotel had really thin walls, everyone heard. It woke everyone up and soon I had someone banging on the room door. It was a teacher who said the the other kids had said that the music was coming from our room. Me and my roommates got yelled at in the middle of the night and all the other kids believed that it was us who was playing it. The next day after I had tried to explain that it wasn’t us, she still didn’t believe me and said that the next time I complained, she would call my parents. Later that day, while we were doing an activity and she needed a student to help her, I was called. I responded with “I don’t owe you anything, you wouldn’t even listen to me” then ignored her for the rest of the day and only spoke the bare minimum to her for the rest of the trip. So, Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. Nobody likes being blamed for something they didnt do. To be safe, I would preemptively call your parents and fill them in on the situation so she cant call and say something crazy to them. ###### |
My 23 year old daughter and her husband moved in with us a few months ago. I'll call them Josh and Ashley. My husband and Josh do not get along for a lot of reasons. Some of them are valid, like Josh does not contribute financially, he is rude and ignorant, and he has allegedly cheated on our daughter. They also don't get along for a few petty reasons, such as my husband makes fun of him for wearing skinny jeans, Josh is kind of socially inept, my husband is very cold and Josh tries to do this fake affection thing to piss him off.
Well that other day I guess Josh put some makeup on him as a prank while he was sleeping. My husband went insane, called Josh some horrible names, told our daughter he is ashamed of her. He told them they both had to be out by that night or he was going to have the police throw them out. Now I think this is ridiculous, especially when he's married to me and I've certainly played dumb pranks on him, which he was able to laugh off, but I also feel like it is his house as well and I don't have the right to override him. I wouldn't be ok with him having someone I didn't want living in the house. I told my daughter I think it is an overreaction, but she needs to respect her father and now she isn't speaking to me. ###### | NTA. Nobody has commented yet but my thoughts are summarized in this statement
“Josh does not help financially. If he doesn’t help financially, then your husband is within his right and is not an asshole for kicking him out.
Though the comments about skinny jeans are kinda mean and unnecessary. Though overall, I see no way YOU could be the asshole. Though I want to see you what other people think about your husband.
Lastly, playing a prank like that on the people who are letting you live under there roof for free is just stupid behavior and if he had used half his brain he wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place ###### |
Yesterday morning my girlfriend was being pouty and generally sour. When I asked her what was wrong she said that she was upset because I had not cooked her breakfast or brought her flowers or any of the things I do for her birthday or our anniversary.
Befuddled, I asked why I would do any of those things for mother's day, as we have no children? She thought that because we have two dogs she qualifies for mothers day. I laughed and told her that until she has a human child she doesn't qualify for mother's day. I had sent cards and flowers to my mother and grandmother so I guess she was expecting some too? She's still upset about it this morning.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Nobody gets mother's day gifts for owning a pet. Your gf is being ridiculous.
(also: did she get you anything for father's day?) ###### |
Backstory: me and my bf have been together for just over two years and he recently got his own place. lived with me for 8/9 months till he got his place
So my bf recently got his first flat. while not the best out there it's not too bad for a first place to live ny yourself. i couldn't move in with him as it was off the local council as he grew up in care. now when he lived with me he was a bit messy but it was never too bad. normally only took a few minutes to sort ot out. since he moved in just before the lock down i have only just been able to see him for the first day in ages. i went round and his flat was disgusting. he had shit every where. the window was tightly closed with the curtains drawn.
His flat stank to high heaven. like I had to make sure to breathe threw my mouth for most of the time i was there. when i was leaving i told him im not coming round again till he had properly deep cleaned hia place. he started going on about how i knew he was a messy person and i knew what i was getting into. First of all there's being a messy person i will admit i am bit of a messy person i don't always put stuff away and can leave things lying out sometime and forget about it for a while. but there's being messy and being a a pig and living in a pig stye. i told him it was none negotiable and he started calling me an arse hole for the hole thing. i said im not being an arse hole for refusing to sit a dirty flat with the window and curtains shut stinking it up even mode. safe to say i left and refusing to go back
he decided to start messaging some friends as we share quite a few of the same friends telling tug me about what happened with some saying i was and others saying i was right and i should have to sit in those conditions
Guess i am asking AITA for refusing to see my bf till he sorts his flat out ###### | NTA. No one should expect you to put up with something that you don’t want to. No matter what your relationship. I am a really neat person and I can’t physical stay calm in messy/stinky places. My ex was a SLOB, he did not care and I knew that. But during our 5 years together we NEVER got into an argument about this because he would always clean up before I came over. He would literally mop the floor, clean the bathroom, and do all of that because he knew it would make me uncomfortable. Sometimes he wouldn’t have the time to clean up and we would reach his place and clean it together before sitting down. He never expected me to just accept that he’s messy and deal with it - and that’s how it should be.
Plus, I think it’s concerning that he involved your friends. It’s okay to vent out to your friends about frustrations, but including them as intermediaries in a relationship is a big no. ###### |
Background: I dated this guy for 2 almost 3 years. At first everything was fine he is literally the smoothest guy I’ve ever talked to, then all of a sudden something happened with his apartment. He said the lease expired and his landlord was doubling his rent if he renewed it, being 19 at the time I believed him. To make a long story short he drained my bank account, destroyed my car, and left me with PTSD (diagnosed). I now have a restraining order against him. Onto the story.
Approximately a year after we broke up I got an executive chef job at a new restaurant, at this restaurant we had a server who was like a ray of sunshine was personified. Shortly after she turned 18 she started talking about this cool older guy she was hanging out with. She I figured by older she meant 21 or so and just kind of rolled my eyes as she didn’t immediately say anything too alarming.
Then one day she said his name, now his name is really uncommon in the area we’re from, it’s also spelled weird. I asked how it was spelled and she told me, then I asked his age and he was 26 at the time. Finally I asked for a picture and lo and behold it was him.
We were slow so I had one of my line cooks take over and told him to call me if I was busy and same to one of the hosts at the front for her. I went over everything he did to me with her and at the end told her to make her own decisions but he really wasn’t a good guy.
Since that day I’ve had mutual friends of ours and his family (brother, that’s how we met) that I’m friends with tell me that I’m awful.
From their perspective he’s a changed man and I ruined his chance at happiness and I overstepped boundaries. He’s been telling the mutual friends I did it to make him miserable and they’ve been believing him.
From my perspective I was protecting a young girl from making the same mistakes I did.
AITA? ###### | NTA. No malice, intentions were good and you were trying to help a young, dumb kid. Why is a 26 year old dating an 18 year old anyway. Gross. Good for you. ###### |
My boyfriend is sleeping in the spare room and I need an outside opinion.
Tonight I noticed a terrible smell coming from my boyfriends shorts. He got up from the couch and the seat smelled foul like a dirty toilet.
I went upstairs and there were brown stains on the bed sheets.
I changed the sheets, he sat down on them naked after the shower and left brown marks on there.
We’ve spoken about this problem before, but it didn’t change anything.
I spoke to him about it again, asking why it keeps happening and if he had a medical problem. Just talking not shouting.
He told me I’m mean for bringing it up, refused to help change the sheets and has gone to sleep in the other room. I asked if he genuinely thought I was just saying this to be mean and he said yes. He said it happens to all men and it’s normal.
I don’t feel like I can ignore this to save his feelings, but he’s got me feeling crazy. AITA here for bringing up something embarrassing?? I’m 28 and he’s 29 so we’re adults here in a serious relationship ###### | NTA. No it doesn't happen to all men. My ass is like a shag carpet and I still don't leave a smelly brown streak whever I go.
Further, what the fuck is he doing in the shower if he just gets out and is leaving brown spots? Tell him to scrub his fucking asshole! ###### |
A little backstory:
My sister and I rent a three story house with 5 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. When we looked at the house, it was agreed that the 3rd story would be mine as I'm paying half the rent and utilities, and was witnessed by my mother and her son. I'm a very anxious person and an introvert, so the 3rd story was perfect for me. My sister, her daughter, and her son have the three bedrooms on the 2nd story.
My nephew is now 18, attending college, and lives on campus. My sister arbitrarily decided that he should move his bedroom to the 3rd story for his summer vacation and use his room for storage (which is pointless because she doesn't have anything to store). More than likely she'll rent out his room, like she's done before.
I don't want to give up my quiet safe space and my grown nephew doesn't want to move upstairs with me. She's the only one who wants this and doesn't care that I pay half the bills and purchase the majority of the household supplies and food. Plus, when my nephew does visit, he doesn't even sleep in his room, he hooks his xbox to the livingroom T.V. and sleeps on the couch (his choice). He also has his own bedroom at my mothers house.
So, am I wrong for not wanting to give up the space that I pay for and giving up my needs for my sisters wants? ###### | NTA. No is a complete sentence.
"I'm moving my son upstairs"
"no"
"but it makes sence I need the space"
"no"
"it will only be for holidays"
"no"
"but its family"
"no"
"why are you being like this your so mean"
"the 3rd floor is mine, I'm saying no end of discussion"
Practice get friends you trust to help you if you can it sounds silly but it helps. ###### |
I am on the phone version, sorry for the formatting issues.
For a bit of background, growing up my mother and I never got a long. She constantly pitted me against my sister, would hold food as a punishment (which grew into a severe eating disorder in my teens, I’m better now) and constantly fought with my father. She left asked for a divorce a week after my 13th birthday and left a couple days after to move in with her boyfriend and his sons. Yes, ultimately she had an affair and left. I was the only minor when she left, and she stated she did not want any custody of me in the divorce. My parents finalized the divorce when I was around 15 Hurtful, but honestly for the best.
My dad and I became best friends during this ordeal and we struggled together. I love my dad and admire how he handled everything, with so much pride to call him my dad.
To the point: The court has decided that my mother was to pay $200 a month, which isn’t a lot but we kinda all wanted to get it over with. She never paid anything. She was to pay from approximately age 15-18, a total of 3 years, or 36 months. It totals to $7,200 of child support that she hasn’t paid. I would not ask this if I didn’t need it, I’m a full time college student and I work two jobs on the side. My dad is helpful but college is expensive, and it’s a decision I made so I don’t tend to ask him for much support financially.
WIBTA if I ask her to transfer the money she should’ve supported me with financially, no strings attached because she technically owes me this? ###### | NTA. No I don’t think you would be the asshole, but isn’t it technically your Dad who has to chase this? Here child support is awarded to the parent who has custody, not to the child, so the child can’t chase it, it’s down to the parent who’s owed.
Also, remember this will drag up a whole load of shit, all that ill feeling will be brought up and slung into the cold light of day. It will also give your mother some power over you if she knows that this money is desperately needed. Much better to cut her out completely and do it without her money. Then she can never say “Yeah but OP only got to where they are because of my cash.” ###### |
I am stripping the floors in my condo got association approval, during normal hours and my downstairs neighbor is banging on walls and on pipes and screaming. I am upgrading my wooden floors and changing cabinets. I tried to talk to him to tell him that this is temporary noise for the project but he yelled that "I drove him out and he called his landlord and said he is moving out in 30 days". I sorta feel guilty but I really didn't do anything wrong. Should I keep going and just ignore his rampant screams and banging? ###### | NTA. No doubt the annoyance is real, but being a diva about a short-term, done-by-the-book inconvenience makes your neighbour a melodramatic asshole. ###### |
little backstory here: I (28F) have a little sister (14F) who we'll call Lily, who is extremely afraid of dogs. Her dog phobia happens only with big dogs, after a Rottweiler knocked her to the ground when she was 10. Also, my sister is living with me as my parents have gone abroad, and we both are extremely close. We live in a big house which can easily accommodate 3 people.
This happened a week ago.
My aunt was going through a messy divorce, so she moved in with me, and asked me if she could bring her dog with her. Now, this dog is extremely large, and tends to get overexcited with children, and taking in account Lily's fear of dogs, I refused.
At first my aunt took it well, and gave the dog to my cousin (her daughter), who lives 3 hours away and says she'll look after it. So a week ago, my aunt asks me if she can bring the dog for visits outside our house. I agree, as long it's in the backyard, and the dog is on a leash. I reminded her not to let him inside the house. Lily agreed, and said that she has no problem as long as the dog does not come close to her.
My aunt brought the dog over, and Lily just stayed inside. I played with the dog a bit, and then I went to the kitchen to cook dinner. Suddenly I hear Lily screaming at the top of her lungs, and I go to the living room. She's climbed on top of the sofa, and the dog is at the bottom of it, barking at her. My aunt is telling Lily to come down and it's just a silly fear, the dog won't hurt you, etc. I was furious. I immediately took the dog outside, and screamed at my aunt for what she had just done. I kicked her out, and now she's staying with her daughter.
My mom called me yesterday and told me that I had no authority to do that. I told her I did, and that any sane person would do the same thing. My cousins all called me and told me that I did a heartless thing, that my aunt's daughter doesn't have space for my aunt, and that she needs a home.
I don't feel like I'm the asshole.
So, Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. No authority to decide who lived in your house?! That made me chuckle. Sick to your guns, you did good. ###### |
2 weeks ago my wife was facing covid symptoms, she tested negitive about a week or so ago. One of her oldest friends was hosting about a 20 person party for her gender reveal. I told her we shouldn't go because she got over covid and I never had it. We would be break state curfue and social distance. I told her to simply call her the next day and say what happened and talk to her. Am I the asshole for not letting my wife see her friend's during this pandemic? ###### | NTA. No Americans should be going to parties, 50,000 of you are catching COVID19 per day and 1500 of those will die from it. Your wife’s friend is TA for hosting such a dangerous thing and your wife is being recklessly stupid for risking her, your, and many other lives for such a self-indulgence. ###### |
this happened last year but it got brought up again recently and opinions are split. more like 'are we the asshole'
context: i grew up in a country where usage of the word 'fag' is very lenient. i also grew up in a family of smokers. this is important because where i live, 'fag' is common slang for a ciggie. i didn't know 'fag' has offensive connotations until i was 11 when someone called me a 'fag' and i asked my mum why they were calling me a ciggie and she explained. all my LGBT friends use it and have no problem with the word when used in the context of a cig.
onto the story: there was this exchange student (Beth) from America who was at our school and she gravitated towards my friend group. one day at lunch a few of my friends had gone for a smoke break and Beth asked where they had gone and i replied 'oh they've gone for a quick fag, they'll be back soon, don't worry'. Beth seemed fine the rest of the day but something was off. the next day she told the group she was leaving because 'certain members are homophobic'. my friends and I knew what she was on about and explained how we meant the word and that we meant no harm. she said fine but didn't want to stay because of the negative connotations so she left the group but we still spoke sometimes in the group chat we had.
a few weeks later she messaged saying she was upset that none of us had apologised to her. we were confused. this is going to sound weird but she didn't seem like she wanted an apology more she just wanted to move on. no one said anything (only I and one other person had 'read' the message) and she got annoyed and left the chat. everyone felt shitty but no one knew what to do so we left it. Beth went back home a few months later and we never heard from her again.
so, AITA?? ###### | NTA. Next time, ask Beth to borrow a rubber for school and see how she reacts. ###### |
I’m 5 weeks pregnant. I found out 2 weeks ago, and specifically told my mom not to tell people because a lot of things can happen in the first trimester. Tonight, she suggested i tell my great grandfather. I was on the fence about it and told her to give me a little to think about it. She decided to go ahead and tell him anyway, taking that moment from me where i can tell my Opa he’s gonna have another grand baby. I got upset and she called me selfish and said since it’s her grand child she can tell whoever she wants. I told her it’s MY child and i should be able to tell people when I feel the time is right. AITA??? ###### | Nta. Next time she tells someone just act like you have no idea what she's talking about.
Dont tell your mum anything else until everyone else knows. Not the name, sex, anything you might want to share, she gets last. ###### |
When I like to have a bit of self love I tend to prefer amateur type videos, one day I'm scrolling through different videos and find someone who looks very familiar. I download the video and lo and behold it is a friend of mine, same tattoo and looks exactly like her. The video is pretty old so it must have been when she was with her ex.
I decided to drop her a message with a screenshot from it so she's not bullshitting. My exact message was "Hey, I thought you ought to know but I found a video of you on the internet in case you didn't know it had been uploaded" and then a link to the video.
I wasn't trying to do anything with it, I'd just want to know if it was a video of me. I thought she'd be a tad embarrassed at most but she was extremely angry. "Why are you showing me this?" and "What are you going to do with it?" were her replies. I tried explaining I wasn't going to do anything and that she ought to know. She called me an arsehole, told me to do what I want and then blocked me.
Did I do something wrong here? Some time last year I told her I like her, she didn't feel the same way and I moved on and all I can think is that she thinks I want to use this against her or something. The ex in question and her didn't part ways wells but I don't know why she thinks I'm going to do something. ###### | NTA. Next time maybe preface this by saying something like "Let me first state that if you were aware that this video is online and consented to it, i am not judging you, and I will not share it with anyone, but I wanted to make sure you could take appropriate steps in case it was uploaded against your will" or something similar, especially you had some history. ###### |
I just wanna say that I have nothing against this guy and I want to help him where I can. But as of lately, what I thought was a one off thing has turned into probably around 2 or 3 times a week now. This guy who happens to be disabled (visually impaired I believe) comes by my workshop and asks to use the toilet.
We only have one toilet available so it’s just common courtesy to keep it clean and hygienic.
He does his business and I go in about 30 mins later and find the toilet is an absolute mess. Shit all on the bowl and just stinks. He leaves as quick as he came in and I’m stuck with his artwork.
A few days later same thing, asks to use the toilet and because of his disability I allow him. Came back a bit later and it’s the same deal. Piss and shit everywhere.
Today he comes in again I allow it again. I assume he went for number 2 again because he was in there for a while. Bit cleaner this time but fkn stunk out the joint.
Now i personally wouldn’t go into some randoms shop/house and nuke their toilet. And I’m kinda at the stage of saying no to him now because I don’t know him (and it’s gross cleaning up after him). But I don’t want to be a dick and say no and he ends up soiling himself.
WIBTA if I stop the disabled guy from destroying my work toilet multiple time’s a week? Or is there a better alternative to this?
Edit: sorry I should’ve mentioned he is a random off the street. I see him walk around locally so I know of him, but don’t know him personally.
Also we only have 2 toilets, 1 male 1 female ###### | NTA. Next time he comes in tell him three times he's left it a mess so you aren't allowing it anymore. Disability isn't an excuse for that.
And he knows. I know VI people, there's no way for him not to know he's leaving poop everywhere. ###### |
I have to sublet my apartment because I just bought a house. I close later in June & don’t want to overlap rent & mortgage so have been trying to get rid of it as quickly as possible. After posting on Craigslist, I got a few messages from people interested. One couple toured last week and told me that they’d get back to me within a few hours but that they were 99% sure they’d take it. 24 hours goes by and I hear nothing. Finally at 11pm the next day (Thursday) I get a response from the guy that they are interested but want to come sign the lease on Monday. Not ideal as they didn’t put down a deposit so I’m leery of “holding it” but I said ok great we can meet Monday. Sunday at 4pm I text and say “Hey hope you’re having a good weekend - just wanted to see what time works to meet tomorrow?” 6 hours later, he texts me “oh sorry I’m out of town so it will need to be Tuesday.” Annoyed but whatever, I say “ok well can we do 11am on Tuesday?” He replies “I’m not sure, I’ll have to let you know tomorrow whether that works for me”. So Monday night he calls and says “hey just wanted to let you know we still definitely want the place but can’t come until Wednesday”. I’m really fed up and let him know I’ve had other interest and that they need to sign. He is like “ok we’ll try really hard to come tomorrow but Wednesday at the latest”. Meanwhile, another woman and her husband who toured over the weekend text me this morning that they’re interested and want to sign today. So I agreed they can have the apartment if they come today and sign before these other guys can come Wednesday since I still haven’t gotten a solid time nailed down. It’s been a week and they’ve dragged their feet without putting down a deposit or anything so I feel justified even though I verbally told them they could have the apartment. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. Never hold a property without a deposit. A deposit shows if someone is actually interested or not. ###### |
Long story short, my partner is not from my country, and recently went back to their to see their family. Since they didn't knew how long they would be gone, and how they would go back due to flight restrictions due to the Corona crisis, they asked if I would be okay to buy the ticket back, which they would refund later when they get their salary further down the month.
Of course I agreed, anything to help of course. I said I'd transfer them the necessary amount or buy the ticket myself if needed.
A week later the prices for the tickets gets down a little and they ask me if they can use my card, which I interpreted by just buying it for them. But no, they quite literally want me to send my credit card numbers through message so they can buy it themselves using my card.
That is, to me, a full stop no, reinforced by the fact that I've had recent hacking attempts on my account. Nothing too serious, just people trying to get into my emails, but enough to get me slightly paranoid and make delete my card off on most website I use.
I'm completely okay with buying the ticket, or sending the money, but they kept arguing that I didn't trust them, that I was paranoid, and that they wanted to do it the way they wanted. I do understand their point of view, they want to make sure they get back, but in my opinion, since I'm part of the help, I should have a say in how this is done, and I refuse to send those kind of informations through messages. It's quite literally the one thing people tell you not to do!
Now they are mad, telling me I lied when I said I wanted to help...
So, AITA? ###### | NTA. Never ever give such sensible info to anyone, including partners, family or God himself. If your partner does not understand basic confidential security, you have a big red flag to consider.
ETA: also a big red flag is the fact that they are demanding to do things the way they want with YOUR credit info. Nope. Just nope. It's your credit card and your money, you set the terms. You are not paranoid, your partner is being very irrespectful. ###### |
A few days ago, my SIL and brother had a kid. They wanted me and my mom to visit, (we social distanced and stayed outside). My mom brought a bag of presents and I bought one of those rattle toys.
My SIL was really mad because she felt like I didn’t get my nephew enough things, she also said the rattle looked cheap. My brother and I never got along and he stayed silent the whole time.
I’ve been saving for college and thought it was a nice thing to do but that was clearly not understood.
She never liked me and called me ‘child-hating’. She honestly really hurt me and I don’t think I’ll be visiting them again any time soon.
My mother also thought I was ‘way out of line’ for getting her something that wasn’t very expensive. We aren’t rich and just wanted to do a nice thing.
SIL said that it’s basic etiquette to bring nice things for a newborn and I clearly don’t understand that.
I’m starting to feel like shit, I don’t want the kid to grow up hating me because his parents don’t like me.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Never ever bring them shit again. You could’ve arrived with nothing and they would be in no position to complain about. Don’t feel bad for a second. Good luck in college. ###### |
When I was a kid I was an avid gamer. My favorite toy as a child was my NES.When I moved out of my parents house, I left many of my old systems with the instructions that I wanted to save them for the future when they built value. My mom never believed me and years ago gave my original NES to her grandson and my nephew. I was livid but wasn’t going to get mad at my nephew. Come to find out (my nephew actually told me) that it is a SUPER rare edition worth thousands of dollars to the right buyer. Now, of course, I want my system back, but I feel a little bad about it. AITA?
Just to be clear, no one has CLEARLY told me “no” as of yet, but we shall see how it goes. ###### | NTA. Nephew better not sell it,
as it’s yours. You were livid at the time , presumably communicating this to your mother, so I’d get your mother to resolve the problem she caused. She is TA unfortunately. ###### |
I'm 15 and thus still live with my parents.
I have various mental health problems (DID, psychotic hallucinations, depression, etc.) that my mom connects (for some reason) to my phone. Around 2 months ago, was grounded and not allowed to use my phone for a month. During this time, I was numb. I wasn't feeling any emotion- good or bad. My mom just focused on how I wasn't feeling bad and kept giving me these talks: "Oh, you're so much happier without your phone! Oh, you're not switching without your phone! Oh, you're not hallucinating without your phone!"
I was. I still am. In fact, being without my phone made my hallucinations worse. It made the inner world (where the parts are when they aren't fronting) worse. I just didn't tell her, because I was numb.
When I got my phone back, I was happier and I started opening up again. As soon as I started opening up about switching and hallucinating again, she pulled me aside and told me "When you didn't have your phone, you weren't showing these symptoms. I'm not saying you're faking, I'm just saying I can't ignore the signs."
So I closed off again.
Whenever I try to talk to her about anything, it turns into a lecture and I get a consequence. She was asking me if I wanted to watch Saving Private Ryan and I said I shouldn't due to the nightmare I had the night before. She took my phone away immediately.
So I closed off again.
AITA for not telling her anything anymore? ###### | NTA. Negative punishment is seldom a health way of parenting. You need help and support, which has nothing to do with your phone. ###### |
My daughter is 16 and recently has watched several documentaries, read a few books, medical journals and has come to the conclusion that she wants to become a vegetarian. My husband and I support this, however the rest of us are not vegetarians. We don’t make carnivorous meals every night, but I would say at least 5 out of 7 days a week. I always have what would be a vegetarian side dish, but I am also not a short order cook. I said she can come grocery shopping with me, I’ll buy the food, cook books, etc, and on nights we’re eating meat, she can cook her own food.
This upset my daughter. She says her siblings don’t have to cook their own dinner, why should she? I said because they’re eating what I’m making in the first place. She said that this was “favoritism” but agreed. My husband thinks I should cook for her, but he doesn’t cook the meals in this house, I do.
Am I being unfair here? ###### | NTA. My sister and I went vegetarian and began to cook our own meals. I think supplying her with the ingredients and the cook books are a good trade off. You shouldn’t be expected to make multiple meals, it’s unfair to expect everyone to go vegetarian, and it’s cooking is a great thing for her to learn ###### |
My daughter really likes rap music, which while a little strange doesn’t really bother me. She’s 15 and has heard all the things in the songs at school anyway. She listens on her speaker at my house.
She’s with her mom for quarantine, and we’ve fought over the music in the past. Recently her mom called me and told me to stop letting her listen to rap at my house because she’s being difficult about it at hers. I usually uphold her rules and punishments so long as they’re within the realm of reason, but this one seems silly to me.
I told her no and she cussed me out and hung up. AITA? ###### | Nta. My parents didn’t care about what we listened to I. Regards to type of music. They would make sure we listened to censored or radio edits depending on our age or how bad the lyrics are but I think your ex is overstepping. I think the issue is more getting your daughter to just be respectful to her mothers rules and following them while there, even if she doesn’t agree. Once she is 18 or moves out, it should be a moot point anyways. Plus, any music can get annoying on a speaker in a shared area. ###### |
Caught my neighbor spraying weedicide on my lawn (in my fenced in backyard) because she said “she was sick of all the weeds” and thought she was doing me a solid.
1. I like dandelions they are good for the bees
2. I have pet rabbits, dogs, cats, and a tortoise i like to roam the yard and all of them eat or at least nibble and lick the grass so it’s literally poisoning my pets.
So anyway, I kick her the fuck out and take all my pets inside.
Now 2 of my rabbits are dead and another is in critical condition. I’ll never be able to let my pets outside again to eat the grass because weedicide takes forever to go away because it can sit in the soil for who knows how long and Im worried that the dogs and cats might end up having a reaction too since they also nibble the grass (call me overprotective or over cautious IDC I love my animals)
So I’m suing her for: damage to my property because it is now unusable for my animals, veterinary bills, and emotional damage due to the deaths of my two rabbits.
I’m also trying to get the cops to pursue a case of animal abuse or at minimum criminal damage because she did basically poison my animals but I doubt anything will come from it because I have to prove ill-intent but they are pursuing her for criminal trespass.
She’s a Karen. I think she deserves it for thinking she had any right to be on my property at all; and especially because it’s killed my pets and now Idk what to do about my lawn because I’m not risking another animal’s life by letting them out (at least unsupervised for at least a year. However my parents and my girlfriend think I’m being unnecessarily cruel because it “was an accident and she thought she was just being a good neighbor, and that Im making it to be a bigger deal than it is” and should just ask for her to pay my vet bills ###### | NTA. My neighbor did this last year and got reported to the HOA because the yard she sprayed (under the cover of darkness, so she knew it was wrong) belongs to a family with very young children.
I’m sorry about your rabbits and you need to know that it’s not your fault and you are a good owner. ###### |
I'm (15F) starting to think my mom (40somethingF) is reading my discord messages, even though I've asked her about it multiple times and she's promised she isn't.
I'm sure there was times before this, but my memory is trash. Basically, one night, I was talking about some things that, let's say, I would never talk to my mom about. The next morning, she mentioned to me that I shouldn't watch any "inappropriate videos." I have never watched anything like she was implying, but I mentioned being curious about things like that to the friend I was chatting with.
I have gone on some rants when my mom was stressing me out, and later she would come to me and talk to me a bit about it. Just yesterday, I was ranting about how I feel like my grades (which are all As or mid to high Bs) aren't good enough for her. Later, she came and talked to me how she would be proud of me no matter what, she just wants me to have good grades, etc.
I love my mom, but if she's going to read my discord messages, I want her to be honest about it. She already openly goes through my text messages, makes me give her every password to every account I have (except for this one, because I don't think she knows I use reddit). I'm fine with that, even if it can be annoying when she comes into my room and asks for my phone out of the blue. I get she has a right to do that, but I don't want her to lie about going through my messages.
Is this just motherly instinct, or is she lying to me? ###### | NTA. My mother used to do this to me, and I was groomed to believe this was normal. Normal people don’t do this to others. It took me decades to recognize and understand that people with attachment disorders don’t respect boundaries. She’s not just an AH, she might have a personality disorder. ###### |
I'm (15F) starting to think my mom (40somethingF) is reading my discord messages, even though I've asked her about it multiple times and she's promised she isn't.
I'm sure there was times before this, but my memory is trash. Basically, one night, I was talking about some things that, let's say, I would never talk to my mom about. The next morning, she mentioned to me that I shouldn't watch any "inappropriate videos." I have never watched anything like she was implying, but I mentioned being curious about things like that to the friend I was chatting with.
I have gone on some rants when my mom was stressing me out, and later she would come to me and talk to me a bit about it. Just yesterday, I was ranting about how I feel like my grades (which are all As or mid to high Bs) aren't good enough for her. Later, she came and talked to me how she would be proud of me no matter what, she just wants me to have good grades, etc.
I love my mom, but if she's going to read my discord messages, I want her to be honest about it. She already openly goes through my text messages, makes me give her every password to every account I have (except for this one, because I don't think she knows I use reddit). I'm fine with that, even if it can be annoying when she comes into my room and asks for my phone out of the blue. I get she has a right to do that, but I don't want her to lie about going through my messages.
Is this just motherly instinct, or is she lying to me? ###### | NTA. My mom went through my shit to at that age and I hated it. Its not ok or normal. Kids deserve and need privacy. She shouldn't be doing it but I'm guessing her response will be like my moms....which was she did nothing wrong. But it is. ###### |
I (26M) am about to propose to my GF. We talked about it so she kinda expects it to happen. Still, I want to keep the surprise of when and where I would ask her.
The actual problem is that I am not really good with jewelry and style. Even in the past when I gifted some piece of clothing to her (for some bday for example), we always shopped together.
She always seems happy about it and I usually say that spending that time together is part of the gift and a treat to both of us.
Since an engagement ring would remain for life, I was thinking to propose using a "replacement ring" (for example a toy ring or a cheap one), which she can even hold on to as a memory, and ask her to buy the ring together in our first "fiancee" shopping.
I was thinking to say something along the lines of "Will you marry me? I want to be with you for the rest of our life. Starting this Saturday so I can get you the ring you deserve".
I was speaking with my sister yesterday and when I told her, she said I am TA because I am too lazy to get her an actual ring and if so don't know my GF tastes maybe I don't know her enough to marry her. I was taken aback and left wondering... Am I TA if I follow my original plan? ###### | NTA. My mom actually ended up keeping her replacement ring. Her and my dad went to the Monterey bay aquarium together and she picked out a silver dolphin ring and he proposed with that lol. I wear it everyday it’s my favorite. I love that you took into account that she actually enjoys shopping with you. You’ll both get the quality time part you like and she’ll get something she’ll be happy wearing. I think it’s a win win all around :) ###### |
I know what you guys are gonna say; that I hate her and she should dump me blah blah blah. She is a serial cryer and it is exhausting. Keys falls out of her pocket? Immediate breakdown. Baking didn’t turn out as she hoped? Immediate sobbing. Accidentally knocks a glass of water over? Tears begin to flow. Don’t even get me started on when she runs out of toner or lotion....Look I love her a lot but this behavior is exhausting. I have politely tried to approach her about it and try to help her with coping mechanisms but nothing works. The last straw was when she was bawling for like an hour straight because we drove to Mcdicks for some fries and they were closed. I thought about it and I decided to just leave her alone when she starts crying. It’s not like I’m totally icing her. I’ll hold her hand and kiss her but that’s it. Idk if she’s doing it for attention or whatever but it’s seems to be actually working because stuff that she’d use to cry about, she’s managed to hold herself together. But the more I think about it the more I think that it’s some form of social conditioning lol. I don’t want to treat her like a toddler but I really cannot see myself being with her long term if this continues which sucks because other than this she’s really a great person. ###### | NTA. My man, it sounds like she could use some therapy or a personal counselor. ###### |
My wife is a professional level chef, or I guess was. Anyway, I usually cook on weekends and Fridays, and she cooks during the rest of the week.
The thing is, when she sees me cooking, she always tries to help me. Like, I don’t add enough salt, then she adds more salt. It’s super annoying, and I’ve told her to stop that or else I wouldn’t cook about a hundred times. I decided to stop last Sunday. Now, she’s getting mad at me. She says that I’m throwing a tantrum.
I’m not. I’m just keeping up my words for once. If she changes, then I’ll cook.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA. My husband was a much better cook than me when we started living together (although definitely not professional levels) and he used to do the same thing. It took me sitting him down and telling him how upset his behavior made me and why it bothered me for him to stop, now he doesn’t say anything unless I’m doing something dangerous.
My dad did the same thing to my mum when they first got married and now she never cooks because of it. It’s not a tantrum, it’s fair enough that you don’t want to do something when your partner criticizes you every time. She needs to realise just because you don’t do something the way she does it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. ###### |
My boyfriend left upset and hasn't come back since this happened. He said I was being really nosy and that it disappoints him that I can't just mind my own business. Well, if there are 5 firetrucks in our apartment block parking lot I feel like it's not a bad thing to know what's going on. All of my neighbors were also outside (spread out and most of us with masks) and I talked to them and confirmed that everybody is safe. It apparently started as a problem with HVAC and I was able to tell them that the HVAC guy who just came to check out our unit commented on the fact that all of our systems are borderline outdated. Also, I had never seen firefighters really do their thing with the hoses and ladders before. It was honestly really interesting.
My boyfriend really dislikes it when I "check stuff out" though and thinks I contribute to turning someone else's misfortune into a spectacle by doing so. I can see this perspective but that's really not what I was trying to do and the situation did not have any air of spectacle to it, just everyone on the block sizing up the problem.
TLDR does standing on your porch watching emergency vehicles do their thing make you an asshole? ###### | NTA. My husband is nosy AF but honestly it’s important to know what’s going on around your home! Particularly is something is on fire. ###### |
A little background info; we just had a baby five months ago, I’m working from home juggling everything and he just sits around and stares at his phone when he’s home from work. His only contributions to the house are taking out the garbage and scooping cat litter. I make double what he makes, pay the majority of the bills and pay for 98% of the expenses for our child.
So since the baby has been born, my husband loves to ask stupid questions he can obviously see the answers to, like the bottle is in my baby’s mouth and she’s sucking, and he’s asking “is she eating?” (This happens every feeding he’s home to see) if I’m making dinner, he’ll walk into the kitchen and ask if I’m making dinner, when all he has to do is look and he’ll see I am. It’s incessant, and I’m actually more tired answering him all day than I am from working and the baby.
Today the baby woke up earlier than normal, due to a poopy diaper. She’s a pretty happy girl, but can be a handful. He came in while I was mid poop cleaning and asked if she pooped. 20 minutes later, she spit up on me, it got on my shirt, so I stripped it off and went with her to the closet to put a new one on. “Are you changing your shirt?” I lost it.
I’m not sure if I’m TA or not, because after 5 months of this, I cannot take it anymore. I asked him why he’s constantly asking questions he can observe and see the responses to, and how obvious they are, and he said “I don’t care what you do” Well, you obviously do if you’re up my ass all day long.
So, Reddit, AITA for asking him to stop? ###### | NTA. My husband does the same thing. But it’s almost worse. For example, he’ll see me making dinner and ask if I’m making dinner. I say, “yes” clearly and at a normal volume. He’ll respond by asking, “yes?” That’s when I lose it and say, “no genius, I’m storming the beaches of Normandy. WTF does it look like I’m doing?” Don’t be like me. ###### |
It’s a really nice day out so my mom said she was going to sit outside.
I have been excited about tie dying some old clothes as a fun craft. My mom is not creative at all and never really likes things like that so she just didn’t take any interest. I had all my equipment and was getting ready to roll up the clothes, she came out yelling at me because I’m gonna get dye everywhere - I tell her that I’m not dyeing it yet, I’m just rolling it. I have a separate container for dyeing. Then she starts getting angry about the water from the dye going down the drain, even though I told her I was gonna rinse everything in the bathroom. After a while, I just dropped the whole thing and didn’t dye anything. Just went to my room. My mom is now pissed at me for leaving her to sit outside by herself but I was trying to do my own thing and she kept getting me down about it. ###### | NTA. My gf's mom is just like this and it drives me crazy. If we dont relax or have fun in exactly the way she does, then whatever we're doing is stupid. ###### |
My boyfriend is Indian and I am white. When we started dating, he would call me a cutie pie. A couple of months into dating, he started calling me a cootie pie. The first time he called me cootie pie, I got angry because I thought he was trying to do an accent to make fun of how other indians may pronounce cutie. He explained that I misunderstood and that in Hindi, cootie meant beautiful. We've been together for 3 years and he's been calling me cootie pie at least once per day.
​
On Friday, a new girl started at work. She introduced herself to the staff. She was born in India but came her for university and stayed here. I told her I am dating an Indian man myself. She asked if I knew any hindi and I told her I know a few of words, like cootie and billi. She told me it's inappropriate to say "cootie" at work and that I should be more respectful. I explained my boyfriend's nickname for me is "cootie pie" and that it means "beautiful". She told me "cootie" means "B\*itch". I apologized and said I may be pronouncing it wrong to save face.
​
When I got home, I confronted my husband and he laughed. He said he thought it was funny to call me a "cootie". I snapped and yelled at him for being so immature. I asked him to sleep on the couch and he has been for the last two nights. He hasn't apologized yet and is pretending everything is normal. So reddit, am I the asshole for getting mad? ###### | NTA. My ex-husband thought it was cute to have me say terrible things in Arabic on the phone to his family. It was humiliating and counterproductive as I was trying hard to learn the language.
I do not think it’s nice at all for partners to “joke” this way. ###### |
So to start, this is about periods that wemon have every month so if you dont like hearing about it just leave. Also if you are homophobic/biphobic leave
So im a teenager my periods are painful. The cramps are so bad that I want to curl up into a ball and die. The only way i function on my period is taking meds every 8 hours. My period is also very heavy and it really sucks. Ever since i first got my period me and my mom have talked about birth control because it stops your period. Not so i can mess around with guys. Now my family (my grandma and my aunt) strongly doesnt think i should. Because they belive if i start it now i wont be able to have children of my own, even though i wont because im bi and i like girls more than guys. They call me a brat for not listening to them and say i should listen to the over my mom. I'm siding with my mom and now they refuse to speak to me. And its making me feel bad for not going with what my family belives in.
So reddit AITA? ###### | NTA. My doctor actually put me on birth control to conserve my eggs and help me get pregnant later in life. It isn’t a guarantee, but it helps. Your aunt and grandma don’t know what they’re talking about. ###### |
My girlfriend is pretty pissed at me. She likes playing Tiktok videos out loud on her phone constantly. It is honestly a really big petpeeve of mine when people play videos out loud on their phone, I can't really explain why. It just always feels obnoxious. I asked her if she could wear headphones or earbuds or play it somewhere else. She felt this was unfair, and that I was being controlling. To me it felt like a simple compromise. I know this doesnt seem like an important issue, but it caused a big argument. Am I being unfair by letting my petpeeve get in the way of her entertainment, or should she consider my sanity when playing videos out loud? ###### | NTA. My daughter loves Tik Tok and it is THE MOST ANNOYING THING. I feel your pain ###### |
My fiancé and I have been together almost six years. He came to the relationship with a very cute but very spoiled cat he has always indulged. The cat has essentially “trained” him to meet his demands by meowing loudly and being a general pest.
I’ve always been good to his (our, really) pet. Feeding him, scooping litter, affection and play, buying him monthly supplies and even contributing to his medical costs. I’m a good cat mom and he tells me so. Believe me, I care about the furry bastard and his well-being.
So kitty always has access to food and fresh, clean water and a plethora of other creature comforts. Despite this, he will often meow incessantly around 5am and scratch and knock things over because he decides he wants something.
I always give him more dry before bed and check he has what he needs. Doesn’t matter. Sometimes he’ll chomp through all his food, decide he wants a faucet drink or wants his food bowl shaken or he’ll make our lives hell.
TLDR: I’m sick of dealing with this every night. I’ve never had such a demanding cat and have stopped giving into it all the time. If I know he has what he needs, I’m no longer jumping out of bed to “tend” to him.
I tell my fiancé it’s practice for learning how to ignore a child’s tantrum and honestly, he should have been more mindful when he was a kitten/young cat not to reinforce this behavior.
He says ITA but after 30 minutes, the cat finally STFU and he’s sleeping peacefully. AITA? ###### | NTA. My cat does this too, basically. She pushes my bedroom door, making a noise, trying to get in when it is shut and I’m sleeping too so I don’t want to get up. Sooner or later she just goes away and forgets it. Your cat does the same. It will learn. It was your fiancés cat first. Why is he not jumping up out of bed to meet the cats demands? The cat has all its necessities it will be perfectly ok. ###### |
My husband (37m) and I (37f) have been together 21 years married 18. I have a low capacity stomach. I am the type who orders a single burger, no fries and drink, and be full. It's been a running joke in our marriage that I eat like the birds.
Anyway, he is out of work (chef) and we decided it would be best for him to extend his quarantine time due to him being high risk. Since then he has become a huge "food pusher." He asks if I'm hungry and I ask for 1 egg and he brings me 4. Or he insists on making my plate and gives me a large man sized portion.
What's worse -for me- is when i balk at the amount he laughs at me and says he "has faith I can finish it." When I don't he gets upset at me for wasting food. I feel like I'm being set up.
I have tried talking to him. I have tried being patient and telling myself he is overcompensating since he is out of work. But I am have gained 10lbs and am constantly nauseous from overeating. Yesterday I was finally fed up and forcefully asked "Why do you keep doing this?" He shut down and went for a walk. It's been strained cordiality ever since. ###### | NTA. My bf is a chef too and our appetites have dropped significantly since we haven't been working out due to quarantine. He still goes to work at a different job and sometimes I pack him a lunch for his break. I've been packing a seemingly "normal" amount of food for him like a sandwich, an apple, and some other snacks like chocolate or cheeses but he's only been finishing half of his lunch since his appetite has plummeted. I’m not offended that he doesn’t finish it, just means there’s leftovers for tomorrow!
Defs sounds like your hubby is bored and is trying to cook for you like a customer. Just calmly tell him that your appetite is just the way it is and there isn't much you can do about it.
On another note though, do you guys work out a lot? For us, exercise is a surefire way to get us to eat more than we normally would.
EDIT: Thank you for all the upvotes! This is my first reddit comment with more than 2 upvotes. Really made my day. ###### |
Hey everyone, I’m a 22 yo girl living in Florida with my parents. I’m the oldest of 3. My parents are very strict asian parents. Lately, my mental health has been slipping from the current events. I find happiness with taking long drives, walking around parks, and being outside in nature. I do so with safety precautions (mask and such). My parents have always made it a rule to announce when and where we are going when we leave the house. Lately, they have been prohibiting me from trying to leave the house. I practically have to fight, scream, and shout to go to a park or drive myself to the grocery store and buy fruits. If I say that I am going anyway, they yell at me, call me names like slut, stupid, bitch. I told them that I wanted to find a job so I can pay my bills and save enough to move out. I’ve sort of rebelled by coming back home in the early mornings for the past few days. They threaten to kick me out for not doing what they want. I’m getting so tired of this. I don’t have a job right now(laid off from covid), but I’m trying to look for one just so I can save enough to move out. My mental health is just plummeting. I have been thinking of joining the army in a few months. They also told me not to go. AITA for all of this? ###### | NTA. My best friend is a vietnamese girl living in europe and she has similar problems with her parents so I know a bit about how hard it can be to become independent in circumstances like that. My friend seems to have the feeling she owes her parents something and I guess you maybe have similar feelings about that, too? If that's the case please keep in mind: a child NEVER owes their parents ANYTHING for just being parents. That's not how it works. And as a grown up you have every right to live your life as you want, not as your parents want. You will never be the asshole for that, no matter how much your parents try to convince you that you are. ###### |
A couple days ago my wife mentioned that our daughter wanting her ears pierced for her upcoming 7th birthday.
I was caught by surprised with this conversation as my daughter had gotten her ears pierced just the year before. My wife proceeded to clarify that our daughter wanted 3 piercings in each earlobe like herself. What surprised me even more that my wife mentioned that she had already told our daughter she would take her to get them done for her birthday.
I explained to my wife that I did not think it was a good idea for our daughter to have that many piercings so young. My wife disagreed and said she doesn't understand how it is different to getting the first holes which I was o.k with. She said that if I did not want our daughter to get them done then I would have to be the one to tell her no given she doesn't want to rescind on her gift.
I was not pleased with the move my wife pulled and don't see why I have to be the bad guy in all of this by being the one to tell our daughter she can't get her ears pierced when in my opinion it shouldn't have been agreed in the first place. AITA here for saying no or is my reaction warranted? ###### | NTA. Multiple lobe piercings are really likely to get winky on a child that young. Get her a few cool ear cuffs and tell her she can triple pierce at 13. ###### |
This morning my mom (54F) asked me (24M) for $15k randomly. She has found that if she opens a new bank account and it has that amount for 3 months in it she will get $500 from the bank. I was pretty taken aback by this so I asked if I could think about it. She responds with going “Woooow, really?” and has been guilt tripping me for the past hour about it.
The thing is I live at home and do have the money and my expenses aren’t too bad with my salary so it wouldn’t cause me any problems other than the main reason for her getting a bank account: her and my dad (55M) are getting a divorce. If he were to find out about this money I know he would try to claim it as joint assets and I would end up losing it. My mom says he wouldn’t do that but she has been so naive about this whole divorce. She believes he is going to be all nice about everything and leave her the house and all the money in the joint bank account but ever since she told him she wanted a divorce he has been systematically destroying things in the house “by accident”. Hell, he still hasn’t moved out after 10 months and refuses to chip in for house expenses so I have been paying most of it.
Another thing is she has the same amount of funds in her savings so she could do it herself no problem. She keeps saying I “failed the test” and I don’t trust her. I would give her the money if she was already divorced from my dad because I don’t trust him at all. So AITA? ###### | NTA. Move out ASAP. ###### |
Background: My boyfriend recently passed away unexpectedly. Today was my best day since I found out, but it’s still a struggle getting out of bed.
His funeral services are tomorrow, and I would love to see him one last time, but there’s an issue. My boyfriend is trans, and his family constantly deadnames/misgenders him, even with all of this going on (and them being very aware of his being on Testosterone, and also planning to get top surgery.) I fully expect them to bury him in female clothing, and that truly pains me to see.
I feel as if they aren’t mourning who he REALLY was, and as I just said a moment ago, that hurts a lot. I am planning holding our own services with some of our best friends, where we truly mourn who he really was.
So, WIBTA if I didn’t go? ###### | NTA. Mourning is deeply personal and your responsibility is to yourself and your personal memory of him. However that manifests is fine. ###### |
So I’m from another country and lived and worked in to US for a few years. My mom sends me food packages every month with food, snacks, candy etc from home. This is for fun and she always sends way to much, but that’s just my mom 😁.
So I usually share with either friends, colleagues, neighbors or other people that come over.
I started a new job a couple of months ago and this was the first time I brought something here (it was a type of cookie). I explained to the people there in the moment why I brought it and put in in the break area for everyone to grab when/if they wanted.
Another colleague started later that morning and a while after she came in she say the food I brought and asked who brought it. I said it was me and started to explain why when she interrupted me and asked if I took her allergy (gluten allergy) into account. I said sorry no and explained why I brought this. She said I was extremely rude for not thinking of everyone. And that it was better to not bring anything if not everyone could enjoy it. She said I was very selfish and don’t think about others. I gave a half-assed apology and told myself not to bring anything again.
Am I the A-hole for bringing the food, not thinking about dietary restrictions?
If I would have bought something (for example for my birthday) I would definitely take all dietary restrictions into account, but this was just something I had left over ###### | NTA. Most people with dietary restrictions don’t expect everything to be catered to them. I had a friend in middle school with severe nut allergies who always brought her own cake and food to parties to avoid any accidents ###### |
This week restrictions lifted in my area for the virus and my sister’s boyfriend visited my family for the first time for dinner. He knew who I was, but apparently my sister never mentioned that I’m disabled. When I meet new people, I’m fine with certain questions. I pretty much expect it. But the first thing that exited his mouth as he saw me was “Shit, what happened to you?” And phrased like that it’s just a bit disrespectful. Oh well, some people have weird reactions and I figured he was just surprised.
After that, the pre-dinner conversation goes smoothly. He’s respectful and polite to my parents. Then dinner comes out. I use a special grip for utensils because my grip strength is pretty weak. Sister’s bf immediately questions it, asking “Can you not do anything normally?” Which, again, is just not a particularly respectful way to ask. I respond by saying that I still managed to graduate high school and have a boyfriend of my own. Sister’s boyfriend nodded and went back to dinner. Then everything was fine until dessert. My mom and sister went back to get things from the kitchen, my dad went to use the bathroom, and sister’s boyfriend looked at me and asked if I “can still fuck”. At that point I was pretty fed up. I’m fine with questions but there’s a time and a place, and a level of appropriateness and respect that’s good to maintain imo. And at that point I was incredibly annoyed so I left the table and went to my room, staying there until he left.
Afterwards, I explained what happened to my sister but she told me I ruined the night by abandoning them and claimed that he wouldn’t ever say anything like that. She’s now refusing to speak to me, saying I completely ruined his first impression. But honestly I think he ruined it by himself. Still, I understand why just up and leaving could be considered inconsiderate. ###### | NTA. Most definitely NTA. He crossed a line.
You didn’t make a scene or even bring his assholery to light in front of the whole family.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. ###### |
I'm 16 and my mom and I don't have the greatest relationship, but it's not exactly bad. We are just very on and off. However, recently we've been trying to work more as a team and be more open with each other. Well, it's currently Thursday and I had an online therapy session on Tuesday. My therapist and I were having a conversation about sex so that she can understand if I exhibit sexually deviant behavior ( I don't lol). She asked me if I had been sexually active. I was honest and said yes ( An important thing to note: I have a boyfriend and our relationship is incredibly strong. We've been dating for just under a year and we talk to each other about everything. So neither of us ever do anything we're not comfortable with). Being 16, I can legally decide to not have a parent/ guardian present at my session. I chose not to have my mom there, as it was an incredibly private session. Right about the time the therapist had asked the question, my mom came into my room to borrow a shirt and she heard all of it. After my session, I went to talk to her and she was a mixture of shocked, angry, and idk what else. She kept saying that I was too young and shouldn't be doing it. I then started to get frustrated because I feel that it's MY relationship and I can do whatever I'm comfortable with. I kind of started to feel bad for not telling her, but she also shouldn't have walked in on MY therapy session. I'm not particularly mad at her, but I'm frustrated that she's getting mad at me over my private information. So, lay it on me Reddit. AITA? ###### | NTA. Mom is TA for not knocking, and then for getting mad at you for something that she wasn't supposed to hear in the first place. She isnt that big of an AH - I get it, its a big event in someone's life and mom is probably just concerned for your safety and wants more transparency from you. It's reasonable, but you don't owe it to her, especially if your relationship with her isn't like that otherwise. Talking about sex with parents can be overwhelmingly embarrassing, so your hesitance to do so is justified. ###### |
For starters, I just wanna say that I love my MIL and we get along most of the time, but she’s really been getting under my skin lately.
My husband is an only child and his mom chose to take on a very traditional role as a mother. She didn’t work when he was little, did all the cooking, cleaning, etc., which is completely fine if that’s what she wanted to do. However, since I am now pregnant I have had to deal with increasing amounts of judgments and micro-aggressions from her.
Some examples:
1. Whenever she comes to visit she immediately starts cleaning and doing my husband’s laundry, all while questioning why the house isn’t better kept
2. She’s always talking about how people criticized her for not making my husband do any chores and how he turned out great. I love my husband and he’s perfectly capable of doing chores but it’s pretty clear that the lesson he learned is that it’s not his responsibility to help around the house, and only does chores if I specifically ask him too.
3. She is constantly judging my decision to continue working after becoming a mother, making comments such as “why would you have a child if you’re just going to go to work all day and send them to daycare?” I know she wants to come stay with us for a while after the baby comes and I’m grateful for the help but I almost don’t want her to because I don’t know if I’ll emotionally be able to handle the parenting criticism I think will come my way.
Today, she made a comment about how women are less successful in team based sports and esports because women are naturally more caddy and emotional. I was already in a bad mood for the aforementioned reasons and responded by telling her that her comments were extremely sexist. She didn’t really say much back and moved on to a new topic but I could tell I hurt her feelings. AITA? ###### | NTA. Might need to head on to r/JUSTNOMIL while you're at it. You need to create firm boundaries. Do not allow her to come stay with you if you don't want her, stop letting her do your husband's laundry, and call out her insults, and then exit the conversation. ###### |
I'm a middle school teacher. Once a week there's a meeting with the principal, vice principal, special ed teacher, guidance counselor and the 4 subject matter teachers. One of the things we talk about is particular kids and how they are doing. A few years ago we had a kid who had a spectacularly horrible home life (the school was in an upper middle class area so not that many troubled homes), and she was of course failing. We spent months trying different things to help her. After about 3/4 through the year, the principal in our meeting said we need to do more. I said school is not her main priority or her biggest problem and helping her more than we already are is above our pay grade. We need help. Can you provide some help for us and for the kid? No one directly answered me but the discussion continued.
About a month later, I was in the principal's office and she was criticizing me for something, I forget what. Then she brought up that meeting and said by me saying it was above our pay grade it was obvious that I didn't want to put in the effort to help the kid, I didn't care about the kid or my job, and that it was disrespectful to her and the vice principal to say basically they needed to handle it, not the teachers. I was really surprised and I do not think I was the AH. I actually said that because everything the teachers were doing didn't help and I actually cared what happened to the kid and wanted to get her some kind of help. I'm not a fucking psychiatrist or social worker so I legit couldn't help her.
I was going to make a throwaway but fuck it. So AITA? ###### | NTA. Middle School is a war zone, even in the “nicest” of neighborhoods. It’s not wrong to ask for additional help when you feel your resources are exhausted or the other students are suffering as a result of you spreading yourself too thin for one person.
Perhaps the way you phrased your response came across as flippant or unconcerned to administration. 🤷🏼♀️ “Above my pay grade” no longer means to people what it was originally intended to express. ###### |
So my niece (15f, we’ll call her oliva) and I (15f) are really close in age, she’s a month older then I am. My parents had me when they were both 41, and by then my sister was 20 and already had her own kid. Because of our ages, we’ve never really had the typical aunt/niece relationship. We’re more like cousins, but she calls me auntie as a joke.
So I just got a inhaler for some breathing problems I have related to allergies. We were chilling in my room watching tv and she asked to see my inhaler. So I give it to her and for no reason at all, she puts it in her mouth and starts fucking rapidly pressing it over and over again. So I freak out, and wrestle it from her and start yelling at her because man I don’t know if you can overdose on that shit.
And I also only got so many uses in one can and she just used up about 20. So I’m yelling at her asking wtf she just did that for and she just gets up and storms out. I kinda just sat there for a moment before I walked out to find her telling her mom (my sister) on me. My sister got really pissed at me, because ‘she was just curious’.
She said that I had to apologize to oliva, but I laughed at her and said no way. The whole time oliva is just kinda standing there look sheepish. I say no, and she just takes oliva and storms out. My parents are on my side but they said that yelling at her was kinda a asshole move because I really don’t have the right. But she just put her mouth on my medical equipment and used it up.
Was yelling at her really a asshole move? AITA? And does anyone have a idea as to why the hell she thought it was ok to just do that?? ###### | NTA. Messing with someone's medication is stupid and dangerous. What if you didn't know she used it 20 times? What if you really needed one of those 20 times? ###### |
So the last month and a half I've been lead to believe I had type 2 diabetes from my doctor and the clinic I go to. At first this confused me as I'm only in my twenties and active on account of my job. Also I only went because I needed to have a work related injury looked at and was confused when they told me I needed to have a blood test done. Which I'm not sure was needed since it was a wrist injury and nothing else seemed wrong.
Anyway they said I did have type 2 and they would begin me on pills and other things I need immediately. Never did I question them as I thought they had my well-being in mind. But weeks after starting the medication I didn't feel good and I knew it was medication they had me on.
So I scheduled an appointment with my doctor and told them I didn't feel well ever since starting my new medication. Instead of lowering my dosage they raised it and told me I may need to start on insulin shots if I didn't get better. This confused me and I decided instead of going to my regular clinic I would dip into my savings and go to a different one. Low and behold they told me I didn't have type 2 or anything wrong besides my wrist.
Learning this I confronted my doctor and was simply told that they made a simple mistake and luckily nothing went wrong. So I reported my doctor and my local clinic. However I found out later that alot of people who rely on said clinic can't afford to go anyhwere else. So now I'm wondering if I was wrong to report the doctor and clinic in the middle of a pandemic and causing people to lose their only source of medical care?
So AITA for reporting my doctor and clinic and basically causing people to lose their medical care? ###### | NTA. Medical malpractice is not something that should be taken lightly. You’re absolutely right in your choice. I agree with comment above, your complaint is unlikely to affect those who attend the clinic so don’t let that affect you. ###### |
I (F22) and my boyfriend (M26) have been dating for a year and a half now. We quarantined together and are now in the process of moving in together.
This week our city loosened up social distancing guidelines, so my boyfriend wanted to go play a game of pickup soccer with about five of his friends. They said they were all bringing their girlfriends so my bf asked me to come and I said sure.
Now the thing is that I'm actually pretty good at soccer. My first boyfriend ever was actually in a very good European club's academy, and then I dated an MLS player for three years. Obviously they weren't just straight teaching me how to play, but I helped them practice and train and I picked up a lot from them. I also played high school soccer and then club soccer in college.
When we got to the park my boyfriend said we should play boys against girls so we did.
We actually ended up tying. However my boyfriend played really really badly. At one point he took a penalty that I saved, I blocked several of his shots, intercepted many of his passes, tackled him a bunch of times and took the ball from him, and I even nutmegged him once.
I want to clarify that I really wasn't trying to target my bf, I was just playing and everything happened. I didn't go easy on him but I didn't try to humiliate him either.
It was a fun game and I thought everything was fine until we got home. My bf went off on me about how humiliating the whole thing was for him, and how I had no right to play like that against him. He said I was clearly not considering his feelings, and he's been giving me the silent treatment since then. I think I was just playing a game. AITA? ###### | NTA. Maybe your boyfriend should get good at soccer if he doesn’t want to be humiliated. If he’s this insecure about his soccer performance that he’d throw this type of tantrum then maybe you should take another look at him as far as a relationship goes. ###### |
My parents are divorced and in the last 5 years he's had 5 girlfriends. Not all at the same time haha, one after the other.
He's definitely got a physical type, like they're all short, petite, white, have long dark colored hair, soft spoken, dress very feminine but modest, thirty-something, etc. Like freakily similar, if you got them all in a group people would probably think they're related.
I have confused them for each other, and I'm not doing it to be petty, I swear. It's always been an honest mistake.
It's been hard to not, when he dates so much, doesn't even take a break between relationships, introduces them all to me but never stays with anyone long enough for me to really connect with them, etc.
My mom has the bigger share of custody, so I don't actually spend a lot of time at my dad's anyway. Which makes it hard for me to get to know any of his dates.
I don't have any dislike towards the ladies he's dated, honestly I'm just frustrated with him because it seems like he's not really ready to have a relationship and that's why all his relationships fail after less than a year.
But a couple times, I've said stuff like "can we all go back to (city) as a vacation" and my dad will get mad at me like "Girlfriend has never been to (city)" ... Because I'd accidentally misremembered going with one of his exes.
Or when I was telling a story to some family friends about traveling, and I said "And we were with my dad's ex Jen" and my dad got upset and corrected me.
He's mostly been mad when I say something in front of the lady he's currently dating, confusing them with an ex. And I honestly feel bad when that happens, but it's always been an honest mistake, and I don't think they believe me.
AITA for this? ###### | NTA. Maybe you could ask them to wear name tags? ###### |
I (22 F) Went on a coffee date with this guy from tinder after talking for about a week. On the app it said that he was also 21.
When I got to the coffee place he looked kinda like his pictures but a little younger making me question his age. So, I decided to ask him if he wanted to get a drink later. He started acting kinda weird and looked nervous before suggesting dinner instead. This was odd to me bc he had previously said that he enjoyed drinking.
During the date he also said he worked somewhere else then he had told me via text making the whole interaction seem "off". At the end of the date I asked him to drive me home and when we were in front of my apartment I brought up the inconsistencies between what he texted me vs what he said and asked to see his ID. He started crying and apologizing and showed me his ID. He was 18. I felt really bad for making him cry esp bc I didn't plan on going on a second date.
I told my friend about it and she said I should have let it go and there was no need to embarrass the guy. So AITA? ###### | NTA. Maybe that guy will think twice before lying to someone again. ###### |
I’m 16 years old and very open with my parents about sex. My mom often likes to have boyfriends and my dad loves it. I’m great with that. My mom invites a dude over, I go to stay at my boyfriends house.
I’m very uncomfortable around adult men for various reasons. Even my mothers collection of guys make uncomfortable comments about me sometimes. It makes me feel sick inside.
Recently she brought up having a live in boyfriend someday. I told her I’m 100% not ok with having another adult man in the house. I figured it was a decent request telling her to put it off for two years until I go to college. I don’t want to constantly be uncomfortable in my own house. I’d feel I’d have to dress covered up, lock my own door at night, and basically hide away constantly to protect myself.
She says I have no rights to call the shots as a minor. She resents me at the moment, and thinks I’m being completely unreasonable. I can understand her point of view but I can’t help but feel I have the right to comfort. I’m honestly so scared at the idea but I feel really guilty for hindering this. ###### | NTA. Maybe speak with your father about this as well. See if he can talk to your mom for you. ###### |
My girlfriend of almost 4 years and I live together and during coronavirus I have been getting unemployment because my work isn’t open, but hers just opened back up last week. She works about 20 minutes away from the house and always asks me to take her to work when we both have cars. She tells me it’s to spend time with each other but we live together and I don’t see the point in taking 40 minutes round trip to take her to work and pick her up. Today she was visibly mad about me not wanting to take her to work and I don’t understand why because we are always with each other. ###### | NTA. Maybe offer something else, like making a nice sit down dinner for her and eating together while talking for some quality time. Sounds like the wants some uninterrupted time together so maybe make sure to schedule some time free of distractions. ###### |
I(M18) bought a new-ish computer by myself after working my butt off for it, but since I had no desk in my room, I put it downstairs. My family (mom, dad, and brother 15) uses it like a family computer. Now that I have a desk, I want to keep it in my room so I can keep in touch with friends and play games.
I understand that they may need a computer for things like paying the bills and school work, but my dad has a laptop that he has used to do that stuff before. In fact, he was looking to buy a new computer before I bought mine, and stopped after I had expressed that I was saving up for one. My brother has an opportunity to borrow a cromebook for schoolwork from the school district. He has not taken the opportunity and instead uses my computer for it.
I just want to play with my friends and work on my writing in peace without having my family looking over my shoulder, but is it wrong to take it?
Any help would be appreciated, thanks! ###### | NTA. Maybe just give them a heads up that you’re going to be moving it into your room. But NTA ###### |
Seven years ago, my biological sperm donor cheated on my mother with a college aged girl that was like two years older than me. I cut him out of my life, went FULL no contact since he was a real bastard and I found it incredibly creepy that he was now "dating" someone that was basically my age. I haven't kept up with his life, I made it really clear to everyone in my family at the time, I want nothing to do with him and if they wanted me to still come to family things on my dad's side, that was my condition.
Everyone respected my boundaries, until recently.
Turns out, Sperm Donor got married to his 25 yr old GF, and had a kid. But surprise, surprise, their massive age gap relationship wasn't all roses and they got divorced pretty quickly later. Not my problem, but now ex-Wife is getting remarried and gave Sperm Donor full custody over their 5 yr old. Sperm Donor was a pretty shitty parent with us, so unsurprisingly, I doubt he's too keen to be a single dad at near 60.
Here's the problem. Gran and Auntie want me to "develop a relationship" with the five year old half sibling. It's still my "blood" apparently. I want nothing to do with his midlife crisis lovechild, and neither does my brother. And honestly, to me, it feels like Sperm Donor is just trying to get free babysitting/weasel his way into our lives again. I've lived through seven years without him, and I'm happy to die this way. I'm thirty now, I have no interest in getting to know my five year old sister.
Am I the Asshole for refusing to get in contact with her? ###### | NTA. Maybe I'm cynical, but I think they want you to "develop" into a babysitting option. ###### |
So I own a large U shaped house that was renovated to be 3 apartments. I live in one and rent out the other two. A family with three kids lives in the larger apartment and a single guy (steve) lives in the studio apartment.
Steve moved in a couple years ago and asked to have a cat. We agreed to raised the rent by $25, he had two weeks from getting the cat to show proof that it was vaccinated and neutered, and it had to be a fully indoor cat. All terms were met.
I gave the same offer to the family five years ago but they didn't want the rent increase. Instead tried to sneak in a stray and keep it indoor/outdoor so I told them they had two weeks meet the terms. They get rid of the cat and didn't ask again until this week.
This week the mother asked to get a dog and I told her that she couldn't. She got angry and said was being discriminated against because she has kids. I told she couldn't because she broke the terms before and I only allowed indoor cats not dogs. Then her husband said that Steve shouldn't be allowed to have a cat either then but he met the terms and pays the increase. Then called me an asshole all over social media for being bias against children.
A lot people are saying I'm an asshole for allowing one renter a pet but not the other. I've replyed to the post explaining the terms and violations but everyone keeps saying that it wasn't fair to the family and I'm an asshole. AITA? ###### | NTA. Many places allow a cat, with a pet deposit, and no dogs. Often dogs aren’t allowed as they can be more destructive and can be noisy. If they’re also allowed an indoor cat, following the same rules as the other tenant, but choose not to then that’s on them. ###### |
I have a friend who has owed me $2,300 since mid March. Her dog needed emergency surgery, I put it on a credit card since he needed immediate treatment. I am not wealthy and it's a lot of money to me. Things have been tough for her financially and personally lately, so I haven't mentioned it. She just kicked out her boyfriend a couple weeks ago, so she's in a very fragile place.
However, she just got all of her backpay unemployment (finally.) I didn't ask the exact number, but I'm pretty sure it's somewhere around 15k. She's gone on a crazy shopping spree and bought a MacBook, Camera, etc. She's been wanting to start a YouTube channel for a while, and I'm happy she's finally doing it. She needs a hobby.
She hasn't mentioned paying me back yet, and I hate to bring it up. I know she is already having a difficult enough time, and she is a good friend that I don't want to make her life worse, but I have been stressing over this debt for months.
WIBTA If I told her I need to be paid back now? ###### | NTA. Make sure you get the money back before she spends it all. ###### |
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