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I have a 26 year old daughter who can be kind of a bitch. I’m not trying to insult her because I know she got it from me but she isn’t the nicest person. I met my wife when my daughter, Ava, was 14 and her daughter, Riley, was 13. They hated each other and no amount of counseling or family bonding could fix it so we broke up for a while. We saw other people on and off but kept up the sexual component of the relationship. We both agreed that the girls came first until they were 18 and then they didn’t get a say in our relationship.
We got married when Riley left for college and they still hated each other but could suck it up for holiday dinners. Ava got married two years ago than extremely wealthy man. Riley has always been jealous of Ava but that was a tipping point. Ava lives a pretty amazing life now. She doesn’t have to work and they travel a lot. Ava has invited us on some trips or to events like concerts, high end restaurants, she got my wife Hamilton tickets during the big craze when they were hard to get.
The issue is she will not invite Riley anywhere. They are civil but that’s it. I asked her one time if she would consider including Riley and she said that person is not my family, do not bring it up again. Ava is pretty cold and standoffish and when she says something like that she means it. My wife wants me to push Ava harder to include Riley because Riley is having a difficult time right now and is extremely jealous. Ava is talking about a pretty amazing trip when the pandemic is over and she invited my wife and I but my wife asked me again to broach the topic of Riley to Ava. My wife thinks I’m an asshole but I think I’m respecting my daughter. ###### | NTA. Sure they might technically be step-sisters, but they definitely are not *sisters* by what you posted. They didn't grow up at all together and they clearly both do not like each other. Why should Ava have to include someone she doesn't like, and who doesn't like her, out of marital obligation? You 100% are respecting your daughter and good on you ###### |
Basically my sister (14F) and I (20F) wanted a Nintendo Switch, but it costs a lot of money to get one so we decided to split the cost. Overall the switch + games + accessories cost about $420 (ayyy) and as I have a job and I’m older, I agreed to paying for most of it ($300).
We gave ourselves about 3 months to save up money, but by the end of it, my sister didn’t have enough for her $120 share (she was always spending money and hanging out with her friends.)
But I still wanted a Switch so I said I would cover her as long as she paid me back via artwork and drawings. She’s a great artist and she does do commissions, so we agreed that I would pay for her and in exchange, she would create 3-4 drawings for me.
So we bought the switch back in January and we both use it. Anyhow, I asked her to draw me a portrait of my friend for her birthday, nothing too strenuous, asked her 3 weeks in advance and gave her all the info she needed. She never delivered and i was angry, but I just bought my friend another present last minute so I wasn’t too upset.
Anyhow fast forward to February and she did the same thing. Then more recently, I asked if she could draw a character I liked from a TV show and she just straight up told me that she didn’t want to, that she never wanted to, that she didn’t know why I kept asking her to draw shit and that I was not entitled to her drawings.
I reminded her that her drawing for me was literally apart of the deal we had on the Nintendo switch but she said it’s been months since we got it so we should just drop it.
So I did just that and now I’m refusing to let her play the switch, of course she’s angry but I said it was technically my Switch now since I paid for it 100%. I brought it up to my mom and she said I need to be the bigger person here (figuratively and literally) and share it with my sister. AITA in this situation? ###### | NTA. Sure she's 14 but that doesn't mean she's entitled to your stuff where you've spent the time and effort to earn and save.
There was an agreement, and she failed to keep it. You tried to compromise, and she threw it back in your face. 14 is a good time to start learning about saving money, keeping to your promises etc.
She could have saved money via allowances and spent less money on going out, but she chose not to. ###### |
Title sounds kinda confusing. Also sorry for any grammar mistakes, I’m french, English isn’t first language.
So right now I’m(15F) living with my brother(27) and his boyfriend(24). It’s temporary tho, I’ll be back with my parents in 2 weeks. I’ve been with them for a week, everything was going great.
Yesterday I got up early and I was bored, I thought I’d make something. I found easy mug brownie recipe so I made it. I found some powered sugar and there was a tiny bit left, so I sprinkled it on top of the brownie. As I was doing that my brother’s boyfriend walked in the kitchen and saw me. He got angry and asked me what I was doing. He told me that the sugar was expired and made me throw the brownie out. He told me that they were just keeping it because of memories because they got it while traveling. My brother was kinda mad too and told me that I should’ve asked him first before cooking something.
I haven’t apologized and I don’t think it’s my fault. They could’ve kept it anywhere other than kitchen if it’s just a decoration and not actually edible. ###### | NTA. Sugar doesn't really expire. And nobody keeps powdered sugar "because of memories because they got it while traveling," and if they did, they wouldn't keep it in the kitchen with all the other ingredients that people use regularly. ###### |
I'm new here, so please forgive any mistakes I may make.
I have two boys with my now ex wife, who decided that after the birth of our second son that she didn't want to be involved anymore. She divorced me, and I was stranded full custody since she didn't want anything to do with our kids anymore. It was certainly an adjustment, but I found that both myself and our sons, after the initial shock, were both dealing great without My wife, who, to be clear, didn't settle for anything less than perfection.
Fast forward fourteen years. Both of my sons are doing amazing, and so was I. We never moved from the house we lived in with my wife, so it shouldn't have been so surprising when My wife showed up at the door, claiming that she wanted to be Part of our lives again, in her own words.
I, of course, refused to have much to do with her, but if Our sons wanted to know her, then I wouldn't stop them. so I agreed to talk with them, privately, that night. I made sure not to involve my feelings, just that if they wanted to, they could have a relationship with their mom. And they didn't. No much what I tried to say, they refused. I told them to sleep on it, And they agreed. And came to the same conclusion.
When I told my wife about their decision, and, by extension, mine, she got angry. She accused me of 'poisoning ' their minds and told me that she'd take it to court if I still refused to let her see them. I said that I couldn't make them, And that she relinquished her parenting rights years ago. She got angry and hung up, but not before telling me that that I better be expecting a call soon.
I really don't believe her, but still, i appreciate any opinions, And if I'm being too harsh. ###### | NTA. Sue her for child support for fourteen years. That'll probably get rid of her. ###### |
Awhile back, I (18F) had a doctor's appointment regarding some issues about my period. I hadn't had a period for about year, and I was getting worried, because I'm not sexually active.
My mom went with me to the doctor's appointment and into the room with me for the exam. When the doctor was having me lie down to listen to my breathing, she told the doctor that "you know, she has a lot of stretch marks". I didn't bring anything up about that at all during the exam, and it was quiet when she brought it up.
It was really embarrassing, and I tried not to cry, because I didn't want to cause issues at the doctor's office.
It wasn't until yesterday that I brought it up during a talk with her. I told her that I thought it was very rude to bring something up like that and it was mean. I told her that I don't go to her doctor's appointments and tell them about her stretch marks. She told me that she thought that the doctor should know about it. I told her angrily that if I thought it was important I would tell the doctor or the doctor would ask me about it.
My dad was nearby while we were talking and said that I was being rude to my mom who had good intentions and that I shouldn't have said that to her and should also apologize. AITA? ###### | NTA. stretch marks are so irrelevant to the whole situation? i cant even fathom why she thought it was relevant. ###### |
Hello,
So I run a shop with a big window in a very busy street. For the last month, a dog has been pooping around the area of my shop, and the owners do not pick up after it. I've had my suspicions about who it was, and got visual confirmation last week.
The day after I got visual confirmation, I caught them again in the act, and snapped a picture of them. I then confronted them about it, and they basically told me to mind my own business.
So I got their picture blown up and printed with the title THESE PEOPLE DON'T PICK UP THEIR DOG'S POOP, IF YOU'VE WALKED IN POOP THEY ARE TO THANK, and stuck the poster in the window of my shop.
I've been having a lot of amused comments by my customers, but the people in the picture have gone insane, and have come by the shop many times to scream at me. I told them untill they change their attitude the poster is staying up.
Regarding the law, I'm not too sure what side I'm on, but not picking up their dog's poop is def illegal and can carry a hefty fine where I live (France), so I dobt they'll pursue legal action.
Some of my friends have said i'm an AH for publicaly shaming them. The way I see it they brought this upon themselves.
So reddit, AITA ? ###### | NTA. Stores do this all the time when they post photos of shoplifters. Public shaming is a strong deterrent. I don’t know France’s specific laws on public photography, but most places allow you to photograph someone in public without their consent, so they can’t even get you there. ###### |
I’ll keep it short and sweet. So my friend (I’ll call him Steve) is known as a huge flirt amongst our friends. We call him the bulldog, cause he literally takes every chance he gets to flirt with any female in range, even though he has a girlfriend. From buying girls random stuff to just weird and uncalled for compliments, he’s the ultimate flirt.
So anyway, I was at a small get together with some friends last weekend, and Steve was there, without his girlfriend. Steve was all over my girl, but I let it slide because I trust my girlfriend. (This has nothing to do with her, In not upset with her in the slightest) My girlfriend starts drinking pretty heavily, and begins throwing up halfway through the night. I’m taking care of her, and Steve starts to help as well. At first I was happy for the help, but as soon as I walked away to get some water, Steve swoops in and starts rubbing her back, and holding her neck with his hands. He was REALLY close. I didn’t really care, but it gets weirder. I try to come by her side and hold her hair back, but he kind of blocks me off! He put his arm around her to carry her off to sit in her and my tent.
At this point, I really think there is no point at all for him to be helping. If anything, he’s making it worse for her. I mean if I were puking my guts out I’d rather there be nobody around except for maybe one person. Later that night, my girlfriend told me that Steve kept asking for hugs because he and his girlfriend were not in a good spot and he missed her. What?????!! However, she did say that I shouldn’t be mad and that Steve was genuinely just trying to help out the situation. He CAN be a nice and selfless person, but I was a little too weirded out to tell.
Was he just being nice? Am I just being jealous? ###### | NTA. Steve is a handsy, horny guy, and so long as his target is consenting, whatever. But you, the boyfriend, were at the ready to help out your girlfriend, and he blocked you off to guide her into a private area, confess to her that he was in a bad spot in his relationship, and he needed her physical touch (via hugs) to give him comfort? It's weird to me.
I wouldn't say you're jealous, as you trust your partner. I would say you're suspicious of Steve's intentions, and I think anyone would be. I don't want to make a leap and maybe I am, but it sounds like Steve is trying to groom your girlfriend for some intimacy. Build trust, confess vulnerability, get her comfortable with physical contact, slowly lift boundaries. Steve is a friend that's not really so friendly, as I view it. ###### |
I’m 22F. Boyfriend “Joe” 22M. BF’s brother “Dan” 25M.
I’ve been living with Joe for 2 years now, and we’ve been dating for 4. Dan is Joe’s maternal half brother and he’s been living with their mom for his entire life—he’s never moved out, until now he has to because their mom finally got sick of him and kicked him out.
I don’t dislike Dan, but I know he’s a slob. He’s getting kicked out of their mom’s house because he never does anything for himself or the house (no cooking, no cleaning—not even after himself, no buying groceries, no paying bills, etc.). Basically he just acts like he’s still a kid who has no responsibility to himself or his home and spends all the money he makes at his job on weed and new stuff for himself.
When Joe came to me about possibly renting one of our spare rooms to Dan for awhile, I told him my reasoning above and said I wasn’t okay with it. I thing Dan is nice to hang out with, but I refuse to live with him. I don’t trust him to pay his rent or supplement any of the other expenses in the house like groceries/internet/cable/etc. I don’t trust him to help out around the house or not smoke weed inside. I don’t expect him (or Joe) to cook, because I do all the cooking and I like it, but if he’s not going to help out at all he’s not living with me and eating the food I cook and (mostly) pay for myself.
Joe was upset. He can understand my reasoning, but he thinks we should let Dan move in because he can’t afford to rent a house on his own, and he doesn’t want his brother to be homeless. I still firmly say no and believe Dan should try moving in with his girlfriend or one of his friends.
Joe is now proposing we do a trial run and let Dan move in for a month, and if he doesn’t meet my expectations we have him move out. I told him I’d think about it, but honestly I don’t think it’s worth the hassle because I strongly doubt he’d meet my expectations.
AITA if I say no to Dan moving in, even for a month long “trial run”? ###### | NTA. Stand your ground on this one. If you’ve been dating for 4 years, you and Joe are a team. You can evaluate ideas (like this one) on whether or not they would be good for the team. Having Dan move in would definitely not be good for the team! You’d have more stress and less privacy! Once he moved in he probably wouldn’t leave, so a trial is a no go. Can Joe offer to help him with the apartment hunting process instead? ###### |
I pay for a spotify premium account. My boyfriend and I shared it, until we broke up. When we broke up, I changed my password because he never made any payments on it.
He says I am in the wrong because he has mental health issues and the music is the only way to calm him down.
I dont think I should have to share because I pay for it with my own money, that I work for. I'm currently an out of work waitress so I'm doing odd jobs for my few bills.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA. Spotify has a free version. He'll just have to cope with the ads. ###### |
Growing up we were not close with my dad’s family at all. All holidays and special occasions were done with my mom’s family and it was clear as I got older that there was some tension between my mother and my dad’s side of the family. As a teen, I had resentment towards my mom because I felt like she was keeping us from my dad’s family.
Once I became an adult, my mom told me how poorly she was treated by my dad’s family, mainly his sister. It was bad. My dad’s mom passed away a few years ago (she was a single parent) and my dad really does not have much living family left.
I got engaged at the beginning of the year. My dad must have told my aunt because she immediately called me to congratulate us. I had not spoken to her since my grandmother’s funeral years ago. I then received a friend request from her on FB and was very surprised, because that means at one point she had to have unfriended me. (It wasn’t a new account and we definitely were FB friends a few years ago.) Once I accepted her request she took our engagement photos from my FB and posted them on her page for all her friends to ooh and ahh over. She is one of those people that always has to show off and needs attention and validation from others. She even asked me to send her a close up of my ring, to which I said no.
My fiancé and I are paying for our wedding ourselves. We are currently working on our guest list and I really don’t want to invite her. I feel like she would be there for all the wrong reasons. I also don’t want my mom to be uncomfortable, even though she would never tell me if she was. My mom is a saint. I do feel bad because that is my dad’s sister and I know it would mean a lot to him if she was there.
AITA for not wanting my aunt at my wedding? ###### | NTA. Sounds more like the aunt wants to be there for selfish reasons. Your dad might be happier, but if she's treated your mom poorly and y'all aren't close, I don't see a reason for you inviting her to the wedding. ###### |
My daughter is home right now from uni. We have a great relationship and we talk about random shit. My sister and her kids are also home right now because her appartement is getting fumigated.
To the story my daughter has known that she has fertility problems since her late teend, due to an illness. Luckily infertility and iron deficiency are the only symptoms.
We were talking while drinking a coffee in the living room where my sister was helping my niece with her homework. And I think we were talking about her last boyfriend or something and we were also watching one of those trashy shows on TV. Along the lines of 16 and pregnant. And she was like "uff imagine if I had done that to you when I was 16!" we laughed and then in a rather serious way I said "if that happened now to you tho, I would help you to raise the child no questions asked. Not even questioning who the father is". And I meant it. My daughter laughed and we moved on with our conversation.
When making dinner my sister comes to the kitchen and starts lecturing me about how I should not project my baby crazyness on my daughter. I was confused and she explained that the comment I made was hyper inappropriate specially seeing as daughter had the fertility problems. I toldy sister to keep her nose out of our business and that we have a good enough relationship that even if it was inappropriate, she would have told me herself.
Daughter is sleeping still and I just wonder if I stepped over a line. I like babies and I would like to be a grandma *some day*, but never in a thousand years would I pressure my daughter to become a mom because I want grand babies. ###### | NTA. Sounds like your sister is trying to sound super “woke” and sensitive over something that has absolutely nothing to do with her. Your comment was appropriate to the conversation you were having. ###### |
My granddad was a huge influence in my life. My relationship with my mother was rocky at the best of times and whenever she kicked me out (which was often) he let me stay with him. When I turned 18 I went low (but not a complete lack of) contact with mum and lived with granddad for a while before going to uni, and he made clear that I'd always have a home with him. He passed when I was 22 and left me the lion's share of his estate. My family were upset with this and tried to get the will overturned, and failed, but this is when I went full no contact with them.
Granddad's name was Charles, and when I found out I was pregnant I asked my husband how he felt about using Charles for a boy or Charlie for a girl (fake names but same concept of using the gender neutral version of granddad's name). He said he loved it. So my daughter is called Charlie after granddad. I don't know how granddad would have felt about it, but I hope he'd have liked it.
My siblings reached out, asking me if I would be willing to catch up and maybe stay in touch. I agreed. Many of them hadn't met Charlie yet so introducing her was part of catching up. Hearing Charlie's name caused a pause and then "as in granddad Charles?" and I confirmed it.
My sister, who has a son named Charles, also after granddad, is not happy. She's said it's disrespectful to change the gender of the name and that I should have asked someone for permission because she knew Charlie was born over 5 years after granddad passed away. She said she'd asked granddad for permission before he passed and now we have a Charles and a Charlie. She's started calling Charlie by her middle name as a sign of respect to granddad.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Sounds like your sister has picked up some tricks from your mom! This is a ridiculous thing to fight about, and only someone looking for a reason to peck at other people to establish some sort of control or dominance would complain about it.
My mom lost her oldest brother when she was young. Between her and her several siblings, there are at least three kids with his name as their first or middle name. Everyone just smiles and remembers how much they loved him.
ETA: the idea that she's calling your daughter a different name as "a sign of respect for grandad" is complete BS. Grandad left you most of his estate and frequently took you in. Clearly he loved you and would have been delighted that you named your daughter for him. This is a power move by your sister to show that she can control you. ###### |
My grandparents took me and my siblings out on a bike ride. And when we got back we made lunch. And I made a sandwich with ham and cheese with mayonoise on the bread. And my grandma procceds to throw away the sandwich I made and said. “You won’t like that” and I said. “Yes I will” she then makes me a new sandwich with what she likes. And tried to give it to me. And i said no thanks I can make my sandwich how i want it” she then gies in a tyrant about how I’m ungrateful. And I just left to go sit in the porch that they have.
Reddit AITA here? ###### | NTA. Sounds like your grandma is either a control freak or has mental issues. Getting upset over a ham and cheese sandwich with mayo is not normal. ###### |
I have a special tequila I got as a gift. I really like tequila and it’s my only alcohol that I drink.
My boyfriend drank the entire bottle.... i was upset and asked why the fuck he always has to drink any alcohol if it’s in the house.
He was nice and proceeded to go to multiple stores to find the tequila to replace it but was unable to so he found an equivalent.
Two days later the tequila is gone. He drank the second replacement bottle.
AITA for being upset and concerned? He did buy this second bottle ###### | Nta. Sounds like your boyfriends an alcoholic who doesn’t respect you or your things. ###### |
Ok so my son never had a girlfriend, never had a crush on one. By the age of 16 he still hadn't got a girlfriend even tho he was a handsome guy. I talked to my wife about what her reaction would be if he turned out gay, she said that he will be dead to her if he is. come next year and our son turns out gay. I comfort him and tell him its OK. My wife on the other hand freaks out and storms off to her parents' house and is still there, her side of the family cut contact with us and we will be getting a divorce soon. My side of the family is completely OK with it. AITA for supporting my son? ###### | NTA. Sounds like you've kept a wonderful son and lost a rotten wife. Best of luck to the both of you! ###### |
I (19f) have cousins that all went to boarding school.
My family is very traditional, and have a long history of sending their children to boarding school. Most of my family members get sent to the UK, US and Canada age 8/9.
When I was young, I got very sick. After that, my parents had separation anxiety when it came to me so I got to attend normal day school.
Some of my cousins resent me though. It’s understandable, I got to live with my parents while they didn’t.
I had started getting pressure to attend boarding school from my cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles at 13 since I was old enough to ‘handle’ myself and I haven’t had any health scares.
My grandparents had want me to uphold the tradition, but I hadn’t wanted to leave my parents and go to a foreign country. They said that I could go to one in my home country, but I still wouldn’t have been able to see my parents as often.
I still get taunted for my refusal to go although I’m done with high school and am currently taking a gap year.
I was at my aunt’s house for a gathering and I heard my cousin say to another cousin how much of a coward I am since I ‘hid behind my mummy’s skirts’ my entire childhood. They then spoke about how spineless my parents are for not forcing me to go.
I come up to them and start arguing. They continue to say that I broke years of family tradition because I couldn’t cope without my parents as a teen when most of them left theirs at a far younger age.
I lost my temper then. I snap back “at least my parents loved me enough to want me around.”
Dead silence. I leave the room. None of my cousins have contacted me but my parents are asking me to apologise. ###### | NTA. Sounds like you touched a nerve with them lol, but those that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, am I right? ###### |
I've had a sinus infection the last few days. Mild fever, congestion, light sensitivity, vomiting, etc. Told him I was going to bed early since I wasn't feeling well, 30 minutes later baby starts crying. "Damn, I don't want to get up." So, husband got up, picked up baby, and handed him to me and sat back down. I glared for about a minute, then got up and changed him, made a bottle (cursing rather profusely the entire time), fed him, burped him, put him back to bed and started crying. Husband asked what was wrong and I said that I felt he was no help and it just hurts when I'm not feeling well. He said he didn't know and "isn't a mind reader" and didn't see or hear me get up to change him and feed him and would have done it if I had asked.
Am I the asshole for feeling that he should be more observant and thoughtful? Or should I just constantly tell him what to do? ###### | NTA. Sounds like you are shouldering more of the "mental load" in the relationship, even if he does help out when directly instructed to. Having to be the one in charge of assigning tasks (remembering appointments, feedings...the critical but monotonous minutia of life) is exhausting and often thankless work. Definitely worth a longer conversation with your husband.
You can't expect him to read minds, no, but you can expect him to have common sense. ###### |
Last year I (28F) decided to go back to school and my fiance (30M) supported me.
When his mom found out I was starting (we decided not to say anything until it was official) she flipped out.
Why? Because I wouldn't be around to do anything they (I drive his mom, sister, 6 nieces, and his foster brothers where they need to go because she won't drive) wanted me to at random times.
"It's inconvenient". I quit my last job because it was an inconvenience to them! Once she starts complaining, my fiance is usually guilted into agreeing with her. I'm just glad he makes enough so I don't have to work but, the problem is, I WANT TO!
I refuse to give up my future because nobody wants to drive!
I'm just waiting for them to learn that I start my internship in the fall! All hell's gonna break loose!
So AITA for "not caring about them and their feelings and needs" because I want to have a better future for my kids?? ###### | NTA. Sounds like they need some bus passes. ###### |
(shit title - sorry)
Four years ago our neighbour said she was looking for land to rent- her kids wanted a trampoline. Wife and I offered our yard because a) we had the space and weren’t using it for anything and b) why not be a good neighbour?
And they’ve been good. The kids don’t bounce if we’re outside having a barbecue or have guests over, for example, and only a few times have I seen a horde of neighbourhood kids all bouncing in there. Normally it’s just the two kids and every winter it all gets dismantled and removed.
Last week I arrived home from work and saw that the trampoline had been replaced with a new one. It’s gigantic. Takes up a lot more space than the old one did.
I waited a few days for the neighbour(s) to come and explain but they didn’t so when I saw them I mentioned that it would have been nice if they’d asked me first if it’d be ok to have something that big in the yard.
They think I’m overreacting because I was fine with the last one and this should be no different. I’m annoyed they didn’t ask before moving in this monster, which swallows considerably more yard than the last one.
I'm happy the kids are having fun, but I think I should have been asked, even if I would have okayed it.
Am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA. Sounds like they are taking advantage of your generous nature. ###### |
My (18M) sister (19F) today has worked a shift at work (6AM-11:15AM). She works in a supermarket, stacking shelves and transporting large amount of items. Of course, when she gets home, she’s really tired (as well as a complication from mono earlier this year, she gets tired easier than a normal person). Our mum comes home at 15:00, (finishing work at 14:00 and looking around the shops for an hour). She comes home and complains at my sister for having ‘tired eyes’, which she explained that she had just woke up from a nap. She then complained at us both, saying we are ‘lazy’ and ‘just like our father’ (who works 12 hour Manual labour shifts daily, so he isn’t lazy). So I defended my sister, and said I am lazy, and I’ll admit that, as I don’t do much, but she shouldn’t call my sister lazy, after being tired after working a 6 hour shift, doing heavy exercise. After this she said she was sick of how we are treating her and left the house??
So are we the assholes? ###### | NTA. Sounds like there’s more going on there with your mother. ###### |
So I bought a pair of shoes that cost £120, when they arrived they had black marks on them (they're red shoes). The shoes normally come with a card that has the shoemaker sign them as a quality control measure. This pair did not come with that so I imagine this process was skipped, or they were shipped hoping no-one would notice.
I emailed the company straight away no response. I emailed them again a few days later. No response. I emailed them the week later again no response. I finally opened a PayPal case. I suggested a further discount to account for the defect. Now they finally replied to my email roughly 3 weeks later and stated that their email system was done. They suggested that they could collect the shoes and offer me a replacement. However this was only if the shoes were still in a salable condition, however I had tried the shoes on a few times in the house and the bottom of the shoes weren't in a salable condition (I've not worn these outside but there were still marks on the sole). Again they stopped replying when I showed them a picture of the sole.
Now fast forward to today, turns out they didn't respond to PayPal either. The case closed in my favour and I got a full refund. No instructions to return the shoes either. Just a full refund. Something I didn't ask for, I only suggested to PayPal that they give a partial refund.
My brother and gf are telling me to keep the shoes and the refund, and say that I shouldnt waste more time in emails etc. I was thinking of emailing the business and returning part of the refund.
WIBTA if I keep the shoes and the refund without trying to give some payment back? ###### | NTA. Sounds like the company was too lazy to provide decent customer service and the price they paid was the Paypal reimbursement. You tried; they didn't. Keep your cash. That said, if you truly can't get past your guilt, then instead of giving the money back (to this foolish corporation) you could instead donate to a charity that speaks to your values. ###### |
To start with, both my parents and grandparents are now dead. But while my grandma was alive, she told me she wanted me and my brother to have our mums share of their house when she went. Her reasoning being, her other children, my aunts and uncle, would all be giving their children, my cousins money from the house, and as our mum wasn't alive, we wouldn't benefit as much as the others.
She also saw me more as a daughter than a granddaughter as my parents were pretty useless, and she raised us more as her own children. We are also at least 20 years older than the other cousins, so are much nearer in age my aunts and uncle rather than our cousins.
I then found out, that my aunt D, had persuaded my grandma to change her will so we didn't get anything from her, as in her words, we had already had our inheritance from our parents, (£30'000 from my mums pension, nothing from my dad) so we didn't deserve any more than that. My mum had been given £120'000 from an ex husband a little while before she died, but she spent it all on heroin, so we didn't see any of that.
So am I being the arsehole and being greedy for just wanting the money my grandma wanted me to have? Or am I in the right? I feel very betrayed by them, and can't seem to get over it. ###### | NTA. Sounds like someone needs to be cut out. Your aunt wants to be greedy then she can be greedy without you in her life.
Sorry, these stories irk me. Greedy people irk me. ###### |
My friend gave me his old Nintendo switch. I know my daughter, Jessie, has been wanting a regular switch for awhile. She just has a switch lite.
Right away her eyes lit up and said she would give her old switch to her cousin, Kelsie. Kelsie had to share one with her brother so the girls weren’t able to play online together often. Giving the switch to Kelsie made a lot of sense to me because she and Jessie are best friends and now they don’t get to hang out together at all.
So we thought it all worked out great, except my brother. He thinks by letting my daughter choose who to give the switch to I am helping the girls exclude his new stepdaughter.
My brother got married last summer and his wife had a little girl named Rachel. Rachel is a nice, but sometimes Jessie and Kelsie prefer to play alone just the two of them. My brother doesn’t like that. He wants them to be as close with Rachel as they are with each other. He would try to get them to do activities together and have play dates all the time.
When the lock down happened he was pretty bummed out because we had to cancel all that, but he tried to keep everyone in contact with phone calls and that’s how Rachel found out about the switches and that they were still playing without her.
He says that unlike Kelsie Rachel doesn’t have access to a switch at all since they are sold out everywhere. He thinks I really should have thought of Rachel right away and encouraged my daughter to give her old switch to her so she could play and be included.
Then he went into how I am setting up my daughter to make these choices that exclude because our other sister (Kelsies mom) and I do the exact same thing with his wife. He said she’s very disappointed we don’t invite her out with us more often. If I’m being honest my sister and I also prefer to hang out just the two of us most of the time, but we do invite our sil out sometimes.
 ###### | NTA. Sounds like some serious projection from your Brother because of other issues. Unfortunately your daughter only had 1 Switch to give, so she naturally gave it to her best friend, someone that she wants to play games with. It is what it is. Not everyone gets what they want. ###### |
For a little bit of context I understand it's not a bit deal we all have those dreams and I am over reacting on my part by just wanting to be alone for a little bit. My wife tells me she had a dream where we were all at my best friends house and i had to walk outside to do something. During this time she initiates having sex with my best friend. Come to find out I had my head taken off by a semi. When she brings it up she gets a big old smile and says "yes I had sex with him". The smile is what hurt me the most. So I go downstairs and after about 5 minutes she come down and starts hugging me so I push her away (Not violently or using any force or anything, I'm not an abuser). Then she goes upstairs cussing up a storm stars slamming doors and everything. I'm still currently downstairs becuase even though it's a dream it doesnt mean it doesnt hurt especially since it's with my best friend who I've known since kindergarten. Thank you for your time. ###### | NTA. Sounds like she was trying to get a reaction out of you. It’s one thing to have a sex dream but to wake up and rub it in your SO’s face? Weird, man. If I were her, I would’ve kept that to myself. ###### |
I’m getting married next year and will be going dress shopping (once out of lock down) my mother has decided she also wants to try on wedding dresses along side me.
I’ve told her no because it’s my big day and I want the attention and fun to be on me as it’s the only time I’d buy a dress of such importance.
She’s said I’m being unfair and unreasonable and it’s just a bit of fun. ###### | NTA. Sorry, but if she's not going to let the focus be on you during the dress shopping is she going to let it be on you on your big day? ###### |
Throwaway ‘cuz I have older kids on reddit.
So my 10 year old is suuuuuper into his iPad gaming. Roblox, Minecraft, Fortnite.... you get the picture. Anyway, one of his favorites has those app subscription services where they give you “points” and allow you to sell your stuff in exchange for $5/month.
This sounded like a great idea to kiddo, as he has over 1000 things in his inventory that he doesn’t really use anymore. He set out to ask for permission, to which I immediately said “no”. I explained how those things tend to be kinda scammy, from making it hard to cancel, to making it hard to use the benefits, etc. 10 was sure that this game is one of the good guys and he wouldn’t have any issues.
So then mom mode kicked in. I told him if he wanted to even try to change my mind, he’d have to work for it... and even then the answer would probably be no. After three revisions and a whole week of effort, he gave us an extremely good persuasive essay, complete with research, facts, etc. it was so good that hubs and I were actually convinced to let him try.
Signed him up this morning. Yeah, it’s a scam. Because of some fine print he can’t sell ANY of his 1000+ inventory. He is crushed, so so so so upset. We did send a message to their customer service, but chances of getting money back is low.
I know it would help him feel better if I just gave him his $5 back out of my own wallet, but I really feel like this is a learning moment. So, Reddit, AITA?
Update: so I probably used “scam” improperly... the app in question is Roblox, and basically the ads seem to just say “you can sell your items with membership”, but the limitations aren’t super clear, at all. So it is not a true scam, just misleading fine print, imho. Also, I was estimating his number of items, he seems to have nearly 100 hats alone! (Sorry for the estimation, I’ll be more precise next time I can get my hands on the iPad again.) He’s spent hundreds of dollars on Roblox over the years, mostly on items. ###### | NTA. Sometimes kids need to learn first hand about crap like this. Especially in this day and age where scams are legit everywhere. Now he'll think twice about tossing his unwavering loyalty to a company that doesn't care about him.
All he lost was $5 and the rose colored glasses he had on for this app/company. No harm done really tbh but I bet he learned something that'll stick with him.
And to the people saying not the A... y'all know you can't coddle and shield kids from their dumb actions forever right? Ya gotta let kids learn stuff. :/ ###### |
My (23F) lecturer (40sM) is a nice man - he genuinely cares about our wellbeing and wants us to do well, however he is an absolutely TERRIBLE teacher in every other aspect.
He drastically changed our most recent assignment the WEEK before it was due. It was worth 50% of our grade. I was the top of the class...I’ve never received below a Distinction on any of my assignments. I struggled through his “updated” assignment for days on end - I spent a good 3 hours on the day of submission crying because I simply didn’t understand what he was expecting us to achieve (I also experienced what I can only describe as a panic attack, it was scary and not something I think Uni should cause). I received a P1 on that assignment. It’s going to pull my grade and my GPA down. I’m beyond upset - I genuinely tried my hardest to fulfil his vague guidelines.
My friend whipped her assignment together the day of submission and got a Distinction. My entire group is convinced that he knows my previous grades and decided to be harsher when marking my work. I sent an email asking for more detailed feedback as I couldn’t understand what I did wrong, however he has not replied.
We have been given our next assignment - it is beyond vague. I have not spoken to a single person who actually understands what is expected. I’m extremely anxious about what is going to happen during marking. I have told him I’m nervous as I do not feel like the assignment is clear - he told me that if he manages to please me then he’ll know he’s done well as I’m the hardest to please within my year. He made this comment in front of 6 other students. I was embarrassed and hurt by this.
I want to contact our head of school and make a formal complaint, however I also don’t want my Lecturer to hate me even more and completely sabotage my future grades. WIBTA for complaining, or is it justified? ###### | NTA. Something similar happened in uni, but in my case a lot of people reported the professor and eventually she was replaced. If you're not learning then might as well report him. ###### |
My roommate and his girlfriend have been on and off for quite some time. When they fight and break up, she gets drunk and messages me about how much she hates him, and he tells me how much he hates her. When I dont respond to her, she gets upset and starts disrespecting me with insults. He has told me that she is very vindictive and has stolen jewelry amongst other things from him, and has even made false reports to the police about him abusing her. I've over heard them arguing before and heard her say things like, "I will ruin your fucking life".
After learning what kind of person she is, I don't feel comfortable being around her. I cannot tell him who he can and cant have over, but if he is not in the apartment, I do not want to be alone with her.
Now that they're back together again, she only comes over on weekends. He sometimes leaves around 330am and she will stay until about 7-8am instead of leaving when he leaves. I have talked to him about this, and he has continued to ignore me and shrug it off. I find it disrespectful.
Recently, he got a second job delivering pizza. He left for his shift about a half an hour ago, leaving his girlfriend here. I told him I do not want her here, but he ignore me again.
Fed up, I told him I was going to have the police remove her, or I would stop paying my part of the rent.
She is gone now.
My friends agree with me, but sometimes I feel like they just agree because we are friends. I need some non bias opinions.
Am I the asshole? ###### | Nta. Someone who steals and makes false allegations isn’t someone you should have to deal with in your home. You need to move out and find a new roommate ASAP. ###### |
About 6 weeks ago as we were leaving our house we saw a pet rabbit on the road outside our house. It was already dark out. We get home 2 hours later and it's still there.
We park the car and I go onto the road to see if I can catch it - it runs right up to me so I pick it up and take it inside. It's late now so I decide to look for the owner the next day.
We ask around our neighbours. No one knows who's it is.
So we just keep it.
Last Friday my partner was talking to a little girl outside our house, he was playing with our cat and she said she used to have a rabbit that's the same colour but she lost him. This is the rabbit we found.. Identical colouring.
So she runs off to get her mum to ask if she can have the rabbit back. Mum turns up and says yes so I hand over the rabbit and the food I'd bought for it.
This morning at about 5.30am I wake up early and go sit in my garden. Suddenly the rabbit runs up and sits next to me. I pick it up and take it inside. I hadn't tidied up its food dish yet (yes I am lazy for that one) and it just ate and ate like it hadn't eaten in days. I gave them the food!!
Also it was still dark. I went out on to the street and no lights are on in the houses (I didn't look to see exactly which one they lived in but I know the rough area.. All lights off in all of them) so they've obviously let the rabbit out all night.
WIBTA if I keep the rabbit and if they ask tell them I haven't seen it. I feel bad for the little girl but I'm really angry at the mum. My feelings towards the mum don't matter though, just want to keep the rabbit safe. ###### | NTA. Someone in that house is releasing that rabbit intentionally but couldn't outright admit it. Glad it found you! ###### |
My stepson is 11 and at his school they have these annual events (father-son camping, mother-daughter cooking etc). Late last year they held a mother and son race where the mother had to run across the field and piggy back their sons back to the other side and then tie our legs together and just sprint back across.
A week prior my stepson Dylan was talking about it and how he thought it was ridiculous and embarrassing. When I looked at their poster for it, it looked fun so I convinced him to sign up for it. Later that day I called his mother Julie but she didn't pick up so I left a voicemail talking about the event and asking her to get back to us if she is available. Five days past and still no word from her. Being honest when she didn't respond, I saw it as an opportunity for Dylan and I to bond but since I respect Julie as his mother I sent her an email (doesn't use social media) with the poster and talking about how Dylan has signed up for it. Two days passed and still nothing. So I went to Dylan and told him that his mother hadn't gotten back to me but if he was okay with it, I was willing to step in since it was too late to pull out. He was a bit disappointed but still fine.
The day came and it was a blast. Tiresome but definitely worth it. It was just so much fun and I made a few friends there who were also stepmothers. And obviously we won 1st place and got two medals. Dylan also enjoyed it and feels way more comfortable with me now.
While I was browsing the school's website last week, I saw a picture from that day with me running and Dylan cheering on my back. It was a cute picture so I downloaded it and made it my profile picture. Turns out one of Julie's friends showed her the picture and now she's going on a rant about how I shouldn't have done that and how I've overstepped my mark as his step mother. When I told her I called her and sent an email she went on saying that I should've sent her a text or called her again instead of just once. AITA? ###### | NTA. Someone has to act like a Mother if she's not going to. ###### |
Someone in my Facebook friendlist has been posting abhorrent racist contents against black people ever since the movement started (posts that implying black people have a lower IQ than other races, using dehumanizing curse words in our native language to describe black people as a whole, etc...).
WIBTA if I screenshot his posts and send them to his employer (which would likely end his career)?
For more context, I have no personal bad history with the guy, so it's purely because I think what he has been posting is very very wrong, and not because of personal revenge or something. ###### | NTA. Some people just need to learn the hard way. I'd do it if I were you too, anonymously. ###### |
Right now, I am the only one who works, albeit from home, but I workover 40 hours a week. My husband is laid off, and we have a 3.5 year old.
BACK STORY: Prior to all of this 3 months ago, my husband was a couch sleeper. He is the type that just falls asleep easy. So 6 days out of 7 I would be the one getting up with our daughter every night, and we take turns with putting her to bed.
Now that I am the only one who works, I told him that he should be getting up with her most nights, because I get up in the AM, and also sleeping downstairs would allow our kid not to wake up to my alarm, and I wouldn't have to wake him up in the AM when I came downstairs to have coffee and start work.
He didnt like that, and thought it is only fair to split nights. Funny he thought it was fair before he was laid, that I got up with her every night.
They sleep in till 8-9am every day.
Now yesterday my dog tried to lunge at another dog going in our driveway and when I pulled her back, I somehow screwed up my back. Can barely walk. It was my night on the couch last night but he didnt want to go to bed so he was downstairs till 1am playing is video games so I didnt fall asleep till after 1am. I would have went upstairs but being in pain, I couldnt. I also had a crappy nights sleep.
So this morning, my daughter woke up at 8am and he told her to leave him and wake me up. I took her and hobbled upstairs and got into bed with him. He got mad that I woke him up, and that I was trying to lay back down. He started yelling at me.
I told him it was 830am, not 630am, and I work all week and so I deserve to be able to sleep in, since they both sleep in every day, and my back hurts and I had a crappy nights sleep.
He isn't speaking to me
AITA? ###### | NTA. Some dads need to get past the idea that they babysit their kids when its convenient to them. Parenting is 24/7. ###### |
Trying to keep it short as I'm on mobile and typos galore, plus keep to the main points.
Been with my partner about a year. Stayed at his parent's house a few times. His sister is in another country so his nephews stay with his parents. They've also stayed with us during school holidays.
Everytime we are under the same roof the 7 year old nephew wants to sleep in our bed. It leads to an almost daily argument.
Just went to bed just now and the nephew appeared with his blanket. I took his blanket and put it back outside so he could take it to his own bed. A few minutes later my partner appears saying the nephew is going to sleep with us tonight. Sometimes I give in so I just said up to you, but my face must have said otherwise as partner directed nephew to the nephew's own bed but looked upset at me about it.
A few nights ago this during the daily argument I was really stressed I just went off, not shouting, but stating it is REALLY weird in my culture for kids that age to sleep with non blood relatives, plus at his age even with parents. I asked my partner should I make a Facebook post to ask if it's okay and show him all the comments that will say "no that's weird as hell" etc. That's when he said OK and dropped it for that night.
Selfishly I admit I want some time away from him, and sleep is the only time.
But more than selfishly, in my opinion it's just REALLY REALLY weird.
I'm 32F, partner 35M (we are in a serious relationship),kid 7M. I'm European and he's South East Asian. Just to add more facts.
I play with his nephew all day. We take him on trips. I buy him treats. I'm not being mean to him but I don't want him in my bed.
This happens everynight and makes me feel like an absolute devil woman though.
So AITA? ###### | NTA. Societal norms aside, it's not kind of your partner to not take your comfort into account in a pattern like this. ###### |
It’s a really nice day out so my mom said she was going to sit outside.
I have been excited about tie dying some old clothes as a fun craft. My mom is not creative at all and never really likes things like that so she just didn’t take any interest. I had all my equipment and was getting ready to roll up the clothes, she came out yelling at me because I’m gonna get dye everywhere - I tell her that I’m not dyeing it yet, I’m just rolling it. I have a separate container for dyeing. Then she starts getting angry about the water from the dye going down the drain, even though I told her I was gonna rinse everything in the bathroom. After a while, I just dropped the whole thing and didn’t dye anything. Just went to my room. My mom is now pissed at me for leaving her to sit outside by herself but I was trying to do my own thing and she kept getting me down about it. ###### | NTA. So your mom expects you to drop what you're doing to sit outside with her, because she doesn't have any interest in your hobby? She probably started that argument to get you to lose interest in tie dying and sit by her ###### |
So, I’m a teacher at a smallish school in a big(ger) city. I teach junior high, mostly 8th grade classes, and we all know that that’s the age kids start to find themselves and forge their own paths. I had a student this past year, let’s call them Jack. Jack is a young man who was born a girl. One day, he came to me with his best friend after school, and tearfully confessed he wanted to change his gender and go by “Jack,” and not his given name (one thing to note is while “Jack” isn’t the name he actually picked, the situation is similar to changing his name from “Jacqueline” to a shorter nickname, Jack). It very feasibly could have been a regular nickname, and in fact he’d been going by that name at home for a few years now.
The problem starts when I notified admin. I told my principal that Jack wanted to go by this “new” name and new pronouns, and at first, everyone agreed. Then, I guess Jack’s dad threw a fit (mom was okay with it though), and so ya teachers were told to stop referring to him as Jack and by he/him pronouns - one teacher went so far as to send a mass email to the entire staff claiming this was “just a fad” and Jack would regret it down the road. I didn’t stop calling him Jack, nor did I stop referring to him as he/him, but when I contacted parents, I was VERY careful to avoid pronouns, but I still referred to him as “Jack” in our conversations, which they never seemed to even notice.
While in the teachers’ lounge, I slipped and called him “him” in conversation, and was berated by coworkers, then talked to by admin for being “disrespectful.” I feel like I didn’t do anything wrong by continuing to call him by his preferred pronouns and an already established nickname, especially since I never did it in front of any other students or staff, and to lessen the blow to Jack’s mental health/self-identity. So I’m wondering, I’m I the asshole here? ###### | NTA. So what if is a fad? Let the kid explore the identity during youth. If it just a fad it will pass like any other fad, as long as no life changing decisions are made kid will be fine, and if it isn't, they are just being people the child cannot count on. ###### |
I live one hour away from my parents, in a house with 5 housemates. Without asking, my mom called me to not ask, but TELL me that my sister will be moving in.
My sister? She lives with my parents. She is 18 and a slob. My parents have kept my room as is since I’ve moved out. I sleep in my old room when I come to visit. Once, I found a used condom in my old room because she snuck a guy upstairs. Why my old room? Because it's clean. Her room is not only messy, but musty, because of all the old food/moldy starbucks fermenting in there.
My sister didn’t ask. My mom didn’t ask. I was just told. I live in a small room that cannot accommodate another bed, and the bed I currently have now is a twin. They expect me to continue paying for my rent without pitching in. But most of all, I refuse to share my room with a slob. What do I do? AITA if I refuse?
I told them no. That I would have to ask my landlord and housemates first. My mom doesn’t believe my landlord nor my housemates have a say because I “pay for it.” My response: "Ok so since one of my roommates has a bf and she pays her rent, does that mean he can live with us? No, I don’t think so. That’s not how it works.”
TL;DR: My mother informed me that my slob of a sister will be moving in to my tiny room without asking. AITA for refusing? ###### | NTA. So they never asked just assumed that what they say will happen. You shouldn't even have to run and hide behind your landlord or housemates, just tell them no and why. If they can't handle the truth then they need to change not your decision.
Just my opinion: I grew up with my family telling me i "have to do" something for them. I stood up for myself telling them no that's not how it works, ask if I can do it or don't bother coming to me. You should learn to do the same if that's how they are. ###### |
This argument happened over FaceTime but it was pretty big and my dad is furious at me and has been sending angry text messages so I’m taking it here.
I (32M) was FaceTiming my dad (57M) and his girlfriend (27F) on Tuesday when they surprised me that my dad had proposed. I don’t like my dads girlfriend and to be honest I think she’s only with him because he’s fairly well off. My dad cheated on my mum with the girlfriend and I’ve heard she was pretty ruthless in going after my dad and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I held my tongue and congratulated them and that was that.
Later that day I was skimming Facebook and his girlfriend has written this long Facebook post saying how excited she was to be getting married and that after 10 years together, she didn’t think he’d ever propose, how it had been a difficult start and lots of people didn’t accept their relationship (no shit, he was married) but she hopes everyone can be happy and accept they’re in love.
This pissed me off. She didn’t accept my parents were in love when she pursued my dad did she? So I commented saying maybe she would’ve been engaged before now if she had started dating a single man instead of running after married men.
My dad FaceTimed me this morning and BLEW UP saying he’d noticed his girlfriend upset and she’d eventually said something. Apparently she deleted the status but lots of people saw it. My dad is furious at me and says I need to apologise. I probably didn’t help by asking if she would apologise to me for ruining my family and destroying my mother.
My dad is now saying unless the next thing he hears from me is an apology, he doesn’t want to hear from me. I mentioned this to my girlfriend (32F) and she’s very diplomatic and doesn’t say anyone is an asshole so I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong and should just apologise.
AITA? ###### | NTA. So they got together when he was 47 and she was 17? Why do you have any contact? She isn’t the bad guy here no matter how easy it would be to see that. She was a kid and he was a disgusting predator. ###### |
I live with three roommates, were supposed to split bills four ways. Not my ideal living situation but I was unexpectedly moving after a breakup.
One of my roommates, Lucy, has not paid her share of the electric bill in months, she says she just hasn't gotten around to setting up the service (venmo) we all use to pay our shares to me, so I can pay the bill.
Every time I ask for money, she has an excuse. She can't set up venmo, since her phone is dying. She doesn't have cash on her. She can't write me a check because she doesn't have a checkbook. She says she has the money and will get around to sending it.
Last week, I was going to the grocery store and doing some other errands and I asked if anyone wanted a lift for errands. Two of my roommates, Lucy and Anne, said yes.
On the errand run, I had an idea. I know which bank Lucy uses, I saw she had her bank card on her at the store. And wed be coming up by one of their branches. I pulled into the ATM drive through lane and said "Lucy, while we're here, could you get us the $330 you owe for utilities?"
She was like "did you come here just for this?" And I said yeah, I need the money for utilities this month and the last few months.
She got mad at me for tricking her, and I said I wasn't planning it or anything, I was just driving by the bank and remembered she needed to go to the bank to get me utilities money.
The cars behind us started honking and getting impatient and Anne was saying to just withdraw the money so we could go. Because it seemed like OP wasn't going till she did.
Lucy did, and we went home. But later, she got really mad at me and Anne, saying the way we'd pushed her for money at the atm was practically like a robbery.
I feel like it wasn't, like there were no threats or anything.
AITA for tricking my roommate to going to the ATM to get utilitiy money she owed us? ###### | NTA. So she had money but planned to not pay her share anyway? Fuck that. ###### |
My grandfather died at the age of 83. He had like 5 or 6 brothers/sisters, so the family is quite big and almost everyone (4 generations) came to his funeral.
Everyone met at the cemetery reception/outside. There were more people than I could even count, and I didn't even know half of them. So, as people gravitated together in groups of the same age, it didn't take long to get really awkward. Imagine meeting a third cousin for the first time in such a situation.
So, with the intention of breaking the ice, I did a couple of jokes, nothing inappropriate, just enough to people crack a smile, and it did work, the tense/awkward atmosphere got way better. Except for my sister, who kept crying copiously all the time, so I left her alone, everyone did.
On the inside and during the ceremony I was totally silent. Nevertheless, after the fact, my sister called me asshole for making jokes at that time.
AITA? ###### | NTA. So long as they weren’t offensive or at your grandfather’s expense. ###### |
I'm going on a six month deployment with the military and will be exiting my current lease with roommates. This is something I have been planning so I can save money while I am away and have storage figured out with my family for the items I will be keeping.
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My girlfriend has been having worries about her roommate moving out as she only comes home maybe once a week. The roommate has been staying at her boyfriends house and only comes home when my girlfriend works a night shift. She has also been pressuring her boyfriend for marriage. This has led her to believe marriage may be soon and the roommate will move out.
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When I return I would like to have as much money saved as possible and purchase a home. Recently my girlfriend asked what I would do if her roommate moved out. This question caught me off guard and I asked what she meant. The gist of it is that she is unwilling to get another roommate, but would like to stay there by herself. She can't afford rent on her own and asked for me to help pay. The logic is that I will no longer be paying rent so I can help her out.
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Before I leave I had asked if I could stay at her house for about 3 weeks before my orders begin. Both her and her roommate are fine with this although it will be tight. During this period I've said I would pay my share and contribute any way I could. They both shrugged it off at the time and didn't seem concerned.
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We've been together 3 years with a breakup after the first year. She is amazing and I would like to help her if possible. If it comes down to it and she can't afford rent then I wouldn't let her go homeless. She has a large savings fund, has the ability to move, and could find another roommate for six months while I'm gone.
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I think it's unreasonable for her to not make an effort and expect me to pay but AITA? ###### | NTA. So let’s be clear.
She has large savings. The ability to move. The ability to get a roommate... are you really concerned she would be homeless? If she is homeless with all those things going for her she is either daft or very lazy. Neither of those things are attractive in a partner.
What this comes down to is she wants to live in her apartment by herself, but not pay the amount needed to live by herself. You should be saving money, friend. Why would you pay for an apartment you are not living in? And why are you coming to Reddit to answer this problem.
If you said to your friend or family member. Hey. I’m getting deployed, and my girlfriend that I don’t live with wants me to pay half of her rent. Not because she is in financial trouble, but because she wants to live by herself for a while while I’m gone. What do you think of that situation? They would probably tell you not to do it.
Also, I’m not sure how long you will be gone. But does this involve you signing a lease? Because if she decided she wants out of the relationship while you are gone, you are still obligated to pay half the rent, and she gets that whole place to herself. ###### |
We've been together for 16 years and have always had multiple dogs. We currently have 4--2 Akitas, a Rottweiler and a Westie. About a year ago, her grandson was bitten by his dog (at his home) and ever since then my wife has become increasingly hostile to our dogs (No lasting damage to the boy). Now she has them barricaded in the back yard and a small section of the kitchen whenever she is home. She was the driving force in buying each of these dogs. She picked out every one of them. She named them. I love them all like crazy. I don't like seeing them treated differently. She says it is not because of her grandson being bitten by another dog--rather, they are just dogs and she is tired of fur/sweeping/cleaning. I told her the time to have figured that out is before you got 'em and now they are members of the family (And have been for 8 years, 7, 6 and 2...so not a new situation). She thinks I am picking the dogs over her. Hell, maybe I am. But, problems and all, they are total love. AITA? ###### | NTA. So let me get this straight. Your grandson, at his own home was bite by his own dog, not one of your dogs and now your wife wants to suddenly start testing then like garbage? Yea you’re not the asshole and honestly i would pick my dogs over her any day because that’s absolutely ridiculous. When you get a dog you have to already know they’ll shed and you have to clean up after them so i don’t understand why she’s now using that as an excuse to get out of taking care of them. Those are your fur babies and should not be treated like crap. NTA ###### |
Context
Me 16m and my brother 12m get along pretty much well.
He will more often than not though *always* leave a dish or crumbs or idk something left over on my bed after he was in there for a little bit and its gotten annoying.
So for the past idk month or so whenever he left something on my bed instead of throwing it away or taking it to the kitchen I just have been moving them to his bed and hoping that'd make him stop.
Well today this happened but he left a contained of raspberries on my bed. So lile usual I moved them.
Well cue a few hours later he goes back and sees them there. And pulls back the bed sheet to reveal the juices leaked and left a stain on his mattress. He gets mad and goes to the other side of the house.
This includes him telling my mom what happened and her getting mad at me for not putting stuff back that he leaves behind. I tell her I tell him to and he doesn't but she just walks off hearing nothing of it
At this point i felt bad for the stain so i went and got some peroxide and a crappy towel and got to work.... Voila stain is gone in like 2 minutes.
He's still mad at me as is my mother but idk what to do about it at this point
Reddit AITA? ###### | NTA. So if it had leaked on your bed that would’ve been ok? He’s a kid and needs to learn responsibility. Maybe you should have a heart to heart about this with your mom. ###### |
AITA?
So first some background... I’m a short woman (5’2” ish) and my husband is pretty tall (about 6’3”) so when we go out together he usually asks me to wear heels which I don’t really mind depending on where we are going/ what we are doing.
So anyway, one day we are going to the mall and it’s early fall so I put on my only pair of ankle boots with a heel and off we go. My husband and I are chatting in the car and everything is fine and then we reach the mall. My husband has parked the car and we get out and make our way inside the mall. We’re walking through the first store when I see my husband’s whole demeanour change and as I’m trying to talk to him he is obviously not in a good mood. So of course I ask him what’s wrong and he snaps at me that my boots are “making too much noise when I walk”. I kinda laugh this off and jokingly ask if he’d prefer me to walk around bare foot to which he says I should go back to the car and change into the Wellington boots that I keep in the trunk. He’s actually serious but the boots are filthy, caked in mud and it’s just not something I really want to do. So I explain that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that and I don’t think it’s appropriate to wear dirty boots around the mall and he is really mad. He makes us leave before we’ve even done any of the shopping that we went there for and proceeds to use the entire journey home to make me feel terrible for not changing the boots. AITA for not just changing them? He won’t explain why it was such an issue but it obviously upset him so maybe I was in the wrong? ###### | NTA. So he makes you wear them then complains about the noise they produce? What a ridiculous man. Your husband sounds controlling and petty, and this whole post reads like a glaring red flag. I am easily overstimulated by noise, so I can understand to a tiny degree *but* I would never get angry with someone over something like this, and he's in a public place where there's going to be a lot of noisy footfall.
The fact that he demands you wear heels is also fairly alarming. Long term, repetitive use of heels can and will cause a lot of foot and ankle problems as you get older. ###### |
Me and the gf decided to watch an episode of this show we are watching and about 30mins in I go to check my phone to reply to a message and she slaps the phone out of my hand on to the bed.
I huffed and said can she not do that and as soon as I picked the phone up she did it again.
I got annoyed and said to her sternly I did not like that she did that and she thought I wasn't being serious the first time and said it was just a joke.
I told her I didn't find it funny because I was just replying to a message and also she could damage the phone. She said I was just mindlessly scrolling through my phone and that I'm being ridiculous if I think her slapping my phone could actually break it because we were on the bed.
She's now sad because I flipped at her about it and that I'm over reacting because she can't understand how I don't find it funny.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Slapping anything, anywhere out of anger or annoyance is a total no-no. Doing it a second time after being asked not to is even more of a no-no because it's physical aggression *and* violates a stated boundary. Getting "sad" at you being upset over her doing those things is manipulative and, for me, would be edging very close to a third-strike, game-over situation for me. I would straight up tell her that I will not be guilt-tripped into feeling bad about calling out inappropriate behaviors - she's a grown up and should use her fucking words. ###### |
So I live in a small flat with just one other roommate (female). Three months ago, she started dating this new guy and recently he's been staying over just about every night and staying through the day as well (sometimes even while my roommate is at work). He works ridiculous hours and often finishes work past midnight and wakes me up almost every time he gets home. My roommate has also given him his own key, so that he can come and go when his shifts start and finish.
I recently confronted my roommate about this, stating that I shouldn't have to deal with him waking me up when he doesn't live here. She told me that he's too tired to drive back to his house, which is over 30 mins away, and that it makes more sense for him to crash at our place and to stay throughout the day until his next shift the following night. Also, given that they both work so much, the only way they get to see each other (in her eyes) is for him to come to our place, rather than for her to go to his.
I don't necessarily have a problem with him sleeping at my place if he feels it's too dangerous to drive home. I don't want him to get in a car crash. And I definitely don't have a problem with the boyfriend as a person, as he seems like a really friendly, respectful guy. My only concern is that he's basically living here when he isn't contributing to any bills. I asked my roommate if she would consider limiting his visits to 4 days/nights at the most, but she refused to consider it.
Am I being unreasonable and should I just let them be happy? Or is my roommate being selfish?
So in summary, AITA for asking my roommate to stop inviting her boyfriend over so much? ###### | NTA. Six days a week is excessive. He sounds like a nice enough guy, but he should at least be offering to contribute to bills. ###### |
This is an awkward one... so making it short
I am a 22 year old guy living with parents right now. My 84 year old grandmother, after the death of her husband, became depressed and her health declined rapidly. She has become quiet and frail, with the intelligence of a baby, and she cannot even eat or go bathroom without help.
My parents were out for a while and they've asked me to keep an eye on grandma till her caretaker arrives. She was supposed to come by 4.30pm. Grandma was sleeping so it should have been a breeze, or so I thought.
Around 3pm, grandma peed herself. She was not on diapers because she could make noise when she needed to go, but this time she did it on her bed directly.
I cleaned her up. When I say cleaned, I don't think you need more hints. I kind of carried her off the bed, pulled off her pants and you know, wiped her clean and changed her a pair of clean pants. Hey she is an old woman and could not help herself, so I help her, nothing inappropriate, or so I thought.
Both my parents and the caretaker gave me very weird looks after telling them what I did. I wasn't scolded or what, just told that if there were a next time, to call the caretaker instead and she would come sooner. My mother also said that it was incredibly rude and disrespectful to touch my grandmother as a guy, even if she barely had much awareness.
AITA for this? ###### | NTA. Sitting in urine covered clothes can lead to skin breakdown, infections, hospitalization or even worse. As awkward as it might be, you did the right thing and potentially saved your grandmother a lot of pain and suffering down the line. ###### |
It's an open secret in my office that my boss, one of those raving fundamentalist types, puts things like ideological conformity first and foremost when doling out opportunities for advancement.
Yes, I know that's technically illegal, but we're in the middle of nowhere, Arkansas and half the time the police won't even respond to a burglary in progress, let alone petty shit like this. Plus I wouldn't put it past them to side with my boss, given how common people like her are around here.
I got the idea of maybe faking a religious persuasion along the lines of what my boss holds, purely for the sake of climbing her little list of who to favor?
It's kind of scummy, sure, but it's the only way to advance around here - trust me, I've tried looking for other work in my field, and there isn't any unless I move completely out of state - and it's not like she should be using this as a criteria anyways. ###### | NTA. Since it shouldn’t be relevant anyway, lie your heart out. But FYI the police are not the ones who respond to or investigate this type of discrimination. ###### |
My brother and I are extremely close, he got engaged a few months back and we are all happy for him and his fiance. I am also close with his fiance, she is a sweet girl but suffers from chronic migraines at least 4 times a month (these are so bad that she literally just sleeps all day when these hit) and is very depressed.
A couple days back she learned I was hiring and reached out to me to ask if I would consider hiring her as I own a small business. I told her I would think about it but ultimately decided no as her chronic migraines would mean she would not be able to come into work at least 4 times a month meaning I would have to re-distribute her responsibilities to my other employees which is not fair to them.
I told her I would not be hiring her, and she asked me why so I was honest with her and told her that I would not be able to accommodate her for the days she is off as my current employees only get 1 sick day per month. This caused her to throw a fit and explain that her disability is none of my business and that it would not be fair to discriminate against her because of this, she also told my brother this and things have been pretty tense between us although I expect this to blow over.
Am I the asshole for not agreeing to hire her? Laws in my country are very strict to the point where if I hire her I would not be able to let her go because of her disability unless I pay her out. I would essentially be stuck with a part time employee earning full time salary which I can not afford nor do I think is fair to me or my employees. Am I wrong?
EDIT; I feel I should include that I am not just assuming that she will not be showing up to work for at least 4 days. She used to work at a different place that ended up bankrupting because of COVID-19 and throughout her career there she would never go in to work when she had her chronic migraine episodes (because she physically/mentally couldn't). ###### | NTA. Should've just told her that you don't like to associate business and family. Would've been more understanding and the drama would've been avoided. ###### |
I(15F) have been babysitting my lil brother O(4 months) since he was a newborn because my mom and her boyfriend both work nights. I used to have a schedule where I would alternate nights with my other brother J(17M) and for about the first month I got irritated a few times but it wasn't enough to deter me. J eventually got a job so he dropped off the babysitting schedule so lately it's been me babysitting O from midnight to 9 almost every day. Along with this because they work nights they need to sleep during the day where they pass him off to me again and when their not sleeping they tend to go shopping 2+ hours without him. I am getting paid for none of this despite the fact that I'm more of a nanny at this point. I like to think I'm a go with the flow kind of person but lately my sleep schedule has been severely messed up and as someone with a history of mental health issues I've been getting more and more exhausted the longer this goes on. At this point I mostly just want a break but I don't wanna seem ungrateful or bratty for not helping out. ###### | NTA. Short of a truly dire situation, minor-age children should absolutely NOT be relied on as regular childcare for other minor-age children. Watching your baby brother for maybe and hour here and there is one thing, but entire days/night? AW HAIL NAW! If your mom and her bf couldn't afford daycare while they were at work, or couldn't at least change their schedules so one of them could be home, then they had NO business having a baby. Doing so was a completely selfish choice on their part. ###### |
My sister has recently created a new instagram account that she only lets her friends follow, I thought nothing of it but one of our mutual friends sent me a screenshot of the account. It was nothing but posts about her talking shit about me, our cousin, and a couple of her other friends. I went to confront my sister about this and basically told her if she has a problem with me she can say it to my face. When I showed her the screenshot she said she can saw whatever she wants about me or anyone. I told her to take down the posts or the account, and my sister told me that she won't do any of that.
My friend recently sent me another screenshot and it was her full on her going over the full conversation we had and her talking shit about me again. I knew I wasn't gonna do shit so I straight up told my mom that she was making fun of me on an instagram account, my mom nearly tore her head off and she had to delete the account in front of her lol.
My sister called me a "fucking snitch" and said that I had to go get mommy to deal with her issues. I just told her to not talk shit on me and this wouldn't have to happen. ###### | NTA. Shes being mean, she gets what she deserves ###### |
I live in a shared house. When I'd buy groceries they would magically disapear or whenever I would cook my (older female) roomie would ask me to share.
Neither of us like cooking or doing dishes. I agreed to cook if she would wash the
dishes. She never washed the dishes.
So I've been ordering doordash like 3x a week. My housemate sits in the living room watching tv 24-7. I have to go through the living room to get to the front door. Everytime I get food she asks what I ordered. (If I have left overs I share.)
Recently my aunt said I am rude for ordering food and not offering to buy the women some. (Honestly, it seems like my aunt is always trying to start petty fights with me.) Am I obligated to buy my housemate food?
AITA for not wanting to buy her food? ###### | NTA. She’s your roommate you aren’t obligated to buy her anything. She’s not your child. ###### |
Basically
I was home alone so I thought "I'll clean my room".
I've put some of my anime music on my TV, it wasn't even loud, and started cleaning.
5 minutes later my neighbor ring my bell and started yelling on me saying that I'm listening Satan's music and I should stop doing that because it's bothering her.
I've just said "You don't hear me complaining about you listening to your church music at 7 am every day" and then she got angrier saying that I was possessed by the devil, that she is gonna complaint to my parents to take me to the church, that's why I never get a girlfriend, and why I have depression and stuff like that...
After all that I've just said "Ma'am you should take care of your life and I'll take care of mine, and be careful Satan's love people who takes care of other people's life's".
She left angrier saying that my parents will know about that.
So in the end I was asshole in all that situation?
PS.: I'm 24 y and she must be 50/60 I think. ###### | NTA. She’s the asshole. Probably racist too if she thinks Japanese is “Satanic.” ###### |
So I (20M) am friends with her (20F). She moved from America with her family around a year ago for permanent here to England.
One of the things she was surprised by was the usage of the word cunt. She came with me to a lot of parties and would hear the word used a lot by both guys ans girls.alike.
She definitely was shocked by it.
Well we face timed yesterday and she said that when lockdown is over and parties happen again, she is going to "take a stand" whenever she hears the word used in a social setting.
I told her that's a bad idea as the cultural connotation of the word in the UK, especially among younger people, is massively different to America. It's the equivalent of telling people to stop saying the word mate, that it wouldn't go down well if she tried to police that word.
Example of the times shes disliked use of the word, at parties people would say "hey up cunt" to one another (noone said it to her but she saw other people say it to others), "you daft cunt" (in a joking maner) etc.
Well I told her my view that cunt is one of those things she just has to accept is different here and she got upset and called me ashole. AITA? ###### | NTA. She’s the asshole for not believing a person from the UK about what’s common IN the UK. Though I’d love to hear how her taking a stand against its use works out for her. ###### |
I'll try and keep it as brief as I can. I own my house, and have a tandem driveway with a rental house. The owner is an older lady who inherited the house when her mom died (she's about 75 and lives downtown). For the past 10 years, a new tenant moves in, I become friends with them, and then they leave because the landlord won't do anything to fix the house. She also won't allow anyone to pay for improvements (example: they wanted to rip up and replace the moldy carpet in the bathroom and she wouldn't let them). There's termite damage, water in the basement, and all of the locks are broken. The house is falling apart and hasn't had a single improvement for at least 60 years. I hate the rotating door of tenants that are moving in, getting fed up, and moving out. The latest tenant just told me they're moving (ill miss them!)... and I want to report the house for code violations after they leave.
The landlord hasn't registered the house as a rental, and never gives them their security deposit back... even when the tenants try and fix the house as much as they can. I hate this rotating door of new neighbors. SO. I want to report all of the code violations to the city, knowing full well that the owner doesn't have the money to fix them. I'll be honest--- I want the city to tear down the house, buy the lot and start a neighborhood garden.
AITA for reporting the house and creating a hardship on an older lady on a very fixed income? ###### | NTA. She’s running a scam on renters and making it the community’s problem. She’s not even part of that community if she lives in a different area. I’d go a step further and say you have a morale obligation to report the house and protect future renters from the deposit scam. If I were in your position, I’d ask to be allowed in to your neighbor’s house while it is still theirs. Take pictures and make specific notes of code violations. Maybe you can convince them to stay or at least wait a while to see how this plays out. ###### |
Ok I'm on mobile so please bear with.
***I am so sorry if this is triggering for someone dealing with an eating disorder.***
My sister (30) had bulemia when she was in college but no longer suffers from it. (I mean no one completely gets over it but it doesnt affect her day to day anymore).
I (23F) have developed an anorexia when I was 15 too, however mine still impacts me in day to day, I've been in Therapy for 5 years already.
She recently broke up with her long term boyfriend and has gotten back into fitness and gym, especially during lockdown she went for runs more often as an excuse to leave the house. She has lot weight and seems genuinely happier in herself and I'm happy to see her more confident in her self.
Anyway, she will constantly tell me how much weight she lost in numbers and what she eats (and doesn't eat). Point out things in her body that she doesn't like and will consistently ask me how she looks. One instance she kept saying "be proud of me, be proud of me" and I had to tell her that I'm proud of her dedication and how much happier she is but I am not comfortable with commenting on someone's weight and prefer is she didn't constantly talk about the benefits of losing weight.
She got upset and told me I was being selfish and parents agreed with her too. I guess I am being selfish but I need to put boundaries. Aita for "being too sensitive"? ###### | NTA. she’s not respecting boundaries. this is clearly affecting you emotionally. i’m sure there’s plenty of other people she could talk to about this ###### |
Picture it....
With all of my extra time, I have become ( or so I think) a master landscaper- working nonstop on my yard.
Its today, April 1.
I causally look out my front window with my dog. Something has his attention, and I notice an old woman walking her dog, who’s not so casually sniffing around my yard.
This dog is going to shit on my pride and joy yard. The empty soul of a gambler in me, takes the money line that this dog is going to shit in my yard and I parlay it with she’s not going to pick it up +500.
The dog begins to circle. Here we fucking go!!! Game on.
The little Dude finishes up and the owner- no surprise, continues on with her walk.
With the limited social contact I’ve had, I’m excited for the opportunity to introduce myself to this old lady.
I grab a bag, pick up the dogs mess, follow her down the street and give her back the mess she didn’t pick up.
Me: Excuse me, hi. Yes
You left this on my yard.
She acted like she had no idea what had happened
“Oh my, really? I can’t believe that. I don’t think it was me.”
Me: I watched you let it happen, and then you walked away. Here, you can have this back. ::hands bag of shit to old lady:: have a nice day!
While walking back to my house, I felt like an asshole. Did I really just chase an old lady down to scold her for not picking up dog shit? Who am I?
It’s fucking gross that people don’t pick it up, it’s infuriating to me since I always pick up after my dog.
Am I the asshole?
TL:DR an old lady let her dog shit in my yard, I chased her down to give it back to her. AITA? ###### | NTA. She’s guilty. She lied about it. You were pretty darn polite about the whole thing and bet she won’t let her pup poop on your lawn again ###### |
A long story pretty short, my dad gave my mother a necklace with a pink diamond in it when they got married, which he got from a housewife he worked as a butler for years before that. She gave the necklace to me when I got married but the clasp was broken so I couldn't wear it.
I was planning to give it to my daughter but after having four boys my husband and I have let that go and I thought it would be nice to give it to my niece for her next birthday. I asked her to make sure she even wanted it since she's not much of a jewelry person but she was surprisingly excited for it and we sent it in to get fixed.
There was an unnecessary fight between my niece and my sister about her current boyfriend which resulted in her cutting my sister off. Since I was behind my sister (but definitely not involved) I was also unfortunately cut off and somehow got most of the name calling.
Now I'd completely forgotten about the necklace until this morning when the jeweler called and said my niece was there to collect the necklace and wanted to make sure it was okay. I thought about it and decided to rather hold off giving it to her since she cut us off and I'd never actually worn it before. I told him I didn't send her and that I'll collect it tomorrow. Am I an asshole for doing this? ###### | NTA. She’s got some balls on her still going to just pick it up like it’s all good. ###### |
For context, I am a White and Japanese 17 year old non-binary person. My dads father came from Japan and met my paternal grandmother a White woman. My dad married my mother (an blue-eyed irish polish white woman) and had me. I came out with curly, (My mother) dark hair (My dad) and blue eyes (My mother) I am pale.
My maternal grandmother (White, Catholic woman) has always been pissed off about my mom having a kid with another race. She refuses to accept my Asian culture.
I am visting my grandma, and I have been missing my dad's cooking (He's an amazing cook) and I asked my grandma if we could go to a Japanese store to get some food items I needed to make stuff. She sighed and huffed "When are you going to realize you're not Asian" I corrected her saying I very much am Asian she told me I didn't look like it. I told her that I got that from my mother, she told me I am in no way Japanese and I should stop appropriating their culture.
I got mad and stormed off, I really wasn't in the mood for aruging. She has met and seen my dad, but my paternal grandfather died from a heart attack before I was born, and neither me nor my maternal grandmother has met him.
I have tried talking to her about it, but she always fires back with "But you look white, therefore you are white" I really don't know what to do or say to her. AITA? ###### | NTA. She’s being racist and close minded. Even if you look white you seem to have been raised with and by Japanese culture...it’s in your heritage and upbringing. It’s not like you’re a totally white person who just became obsessed with anime and now pretend they’re Japanese to like fetishize Asian ppl or something. Just tell her Japanese heritage is a part of you and how you were raised and there’s nothing she can do or say about it...and then refuse to argue with her about it. ###### |
My friend posted a massive status on Facebook after discovering her bf cheated on her. She then called me crying basically saying the same thing. How her boyfriend cheated on her with another woman, how devistated she is, how she is a strong woman who doesn't need that, how men can never be trusted and finally how she would never do that to anyone she loves. I listened to it all, listened to her cry and feel sorry for herself. If it was any of my other friends then I definitely would have reacted differently but I know this girl way too well, she is my best friend and we have are always honest with each other.
She then was looking for reassurance but I didn't give her it. Instead I said this:
"Sorry if you are looking for a pitty party or for reassurance then you have definitely came to the wrong place. It's hard to feel sorry for someone who themselves cheat on every person they have been with and brags about it. Now you know how it feels to be cheated on. Sucks he did that? Of course it does but it's hard to pitty someone who does that shit themselves. Mate I do love ya but in all honesty I can't feel sorry for you right now. I have never agreed with cheating, don't like him doing it, never liked you doing it but I can't feel bad for you because you are being a huge hypocrite... sorry".
She was really insulted about that. She started screaming down the phone how I'm meant to be her friend but what I said was bitchy and what assholes say. Claimed I slut shamed her and said I was an asshole. Personally I don't see that as slut shaming at all when she has literally bragged about getting with guys behind their gfs backs and being with guys behind all her exes backs. She has never felt bad about any of that and actually was proud of her actions. So why should I feel sorry for someone who does that themselves?
AITA for saying that?
Edit: She is my best friend and I love her like she is my sister but that doesn't mean I agree with everything she does. ###### | NTA. She’s a huge hypocrite if she thinks her cheating is any different, and honestly deserved to get a taste of her own medicine. Whether she wanted to hear that or not, it seemed necessary at this point. Maybe it’ll prevent her from doing it again in the future. ###### |
So, I have a younger sister. She is twelve, and I am eighteen (I'm a high school Senior). Ever since we were younger, she has always asked me to do small tasks for her (such as bringing her an object, or throwing something out for her). At first, I didn't really mind. I didn't want to be mean, and it wasn't that big of a deal, so I kept doing it. However, her requests have become more frequent recently.
She always asks me to put her devices on charge (such as her phone, tablet, and headphones), fetch her water, and other such tasks for seemingly no other reason than because she's too lazy to do them herself. Whenever she asks me fetch her objects, the said objects would always be close to her, and the fact that she refuses to get them herself is just mind-boggling to me.
I tried to refuse her several times, saying that she can do it herself and that she doesn't need my help, but whenever I do, she would throw a fit, saying that I "have to do it", because it's "part of a routine". I just don't understand why she's being so stubborn. I know that she's younger, and still a kid, but I feel like this behavior is immature, even for her age. We have gotten into a few fights about it, and she doesn't seem to understand why this irritates me. She thinks I'm the one being stubborn and unreasonable. I just want her to understand that I can't do things for her all the time. Even if they are little in hindsight, I don't wanna feel obligated or forced to do them. It doesn't feel fair to me.
Am I being unreasonable here for not wanting to comply with her demands? Am I the one being immature? Am I in the wrong here for not wanting to do small tasks for her all the time? ###### | NTA. She’s 12, so she’s definitely old enough to do things like get a drink or plug up her phone. Asking for favors like that once in a while is common, but it shouldn’t be such a frequent occurrence. ###### |
I might have overreacted, but here goes. I (25f) have a 30 year old sister, and she is very controlling and loves telling me what to do, as well as our two brothers. Bit of a control freak who involves herself in everyone's business. She's a bit obsessed with my hair, it's thick and hers is very thin, so you know what I mean there, wishes she had hair like mine. She's always touching it, playing with it, stuff like that. Whatever, doesn't bother me that much.
We're all still at home, I definitely cannot afford to get my own place for another while and she is looking for a house close to the family house and her work. There have been instances when I am in the bath washing myself, and she will come in to wash her hands or brush her teeth. I don't think she comes in with the deliberate intention of this, but she still does it and the last time I lost it. When she is standing there doing her stuff, she will watch me washing my hair. This isn't prolonged or anything, but she still does it. Standing at the sink doing whatever and watching me.
The last time this happened I lost it. Screamed at her to fuck off and that she's a creep and a pervert. She's always been the golden child, so I got told off by our mum to stop shouting and sister had the gall to tell me to stop shouting as well and to watch my language. I might have overreacted but I think it's unfair to just stand there watching your own sister, naked in the bath having a wash and commenting on how she washes her hair, not having any boundaries for someone else's privacy and dignity. I know that she didn't come in deliberately to watch but that's not the point. AITA? ###### | NTA. She's watching you wash your hair in the shower/bath and commenting on it? That's incredibly creepy and a huge invasion of privacy. ###### |
I'm a trucker, so I'm on the road 6 days a week, working about 12 hours a day, and I keep my truck clean inside. My wife works 12 hours a week, and the house is constantly a mess, and when I say something to her about it, it usually pisses her off, then she says she'll do it, but never does. Am I being an asshole by asking too much of her to simply keep the house cleaned up? ###### | NTA. She's the one at home making the mess, and not cleaning up after herself while you are out earning an income; assuming you are not a total slob at home. The reason she is getting pissed of is because she knows its true and doesn't want to deal with it. Keep engaging. ###### |
Long story short, my mother spent money she didn't have, couldn't pay rent and is now living with me and my wife. She wanted to pay me rent while she lives with us, but I said she didn't have to so she could pay her debt and get a place of her own sooner. So she said she would be cleaning the house to compensate, I said she didn't need to as I've been doing it for years just fine. She insisted, I gave up trying to argue.
One of the reasons I didn't want her to clean the house is because she is too perfectionist when it comes to that, everything has to be shining. Me and my wife don't mind a little mess every once in a while. Another thing I hated while growing up living with my mother is that she has a habit of changing the furniture out of places, but that wasn't much more than a mild inconvenience then; but now it's just being an asshole, since my wife is blind.
Even thought I expected it to be clear, I explicitly told my mother that she wasn't supposed to change anything out of place since my wife was used to things being where they were and that's how she navigated around the house.
It started with the trash can in the kitchen, then the sofa, then the fridge and finally yesterday she cause my wife to trip and bruise her knee by moving the dinner table a few inches.
I told my mother that I finally had enough and if she couldn't keep up with the rules at my house she would have to go. I talked to my wife later and she says I went too far and would be an asshole if I kicked out my mother. Wife says she doesn't mind it as it was just a bruise. I think it was just a bruise now, next time could be a broken arm. ###### | Nta. She's taking advantage of you and risking your wife's safety. ###### |
So a few months ago my Gf had to get a skin lesion cut out. Just removing an infection about the size of a dime then stitching it back up. She asked me about a week before if I would go with her. I told her I don’t think so because I had just started my last semester of college and had class at the time. She said okay, but a few days later made me feel bad for not volunteering to go with her, so I made arrangements to skip class.
Till this day she still shames me for being selfish saying that the fact that I initially didn’t want to skip class is a reflection of my bad character.
AITA ?? ###### | NTA. She's TA, not for asking you to skip class, but for guilting you into it and then bringing up the fact that you ALMOST didn't skip class three months later. It may seem like a trivial matter but it's a red flag about her neediness and desire to shame you into catering to her demands. ###### |
Sometimes I like to get high then go for a long walk with headphones in and just get lost in the music I'm listening to. It gets me outside, get me moving, and I feel super happy and relaxed when I get back inside.
Yesterday I decided to roll a joint and smoke it as I walk. Usually I do this at night, or smoke before leaving the house if its day time. Yesterday I did not (it was about 3-4pm). I smoked half, walked for about an hour, then decided to smoke the other half. As I'm lighting up and taking a couple puffs, a lady sitting in her yard with a kid (preteen I guess? 12-14 ish) put her hands up with a wtf look on her face and yells to me that I can't be smoking weed out on the streets like that. Now I know she didnt mean legally, as I live in Canada and it's been legal for over a year by now. She obviously meant morally, I assume because her kid was outside seeing this too.
I didnt think it was a big deal, but it immediately ruined my buzz and I spent the rest of the walk worrying that I'm being disrespectful or maybe just unintentionally promoting something negative? I dont know.. should I just make a point of smoking beforehand or is it okay to smoke outside on a walk the same way one would smoke a cigarette? ###### | NTA. She's probably just concerned about her kid and drugs and setting a "bad example" for him. However, I think you should avoid smoking near people if you're walking in public, even if it is legal to smoke anywhere. ###### |
This has been going on for a while but I think the tipping point happened a couple days ago. She had asked me (22m) if I was circumcised, to which I told her I was not; she proceeded to say things like gross and we’re getting you circumcised in a joking manner...etc.
In that particular situation I could more or less tell se was being serious. And just today she was saying she thinks 7 inches is right right size and anything less would be small,-but here’s the kicker:
She is a virgin and has never stuck a finger in her vagina, whereas I’ve told her I’ve been with plenty of girls that have never commented on my size or uncircumcised penis. (Quite frankly it kinda hurt when she said it would be gross because I take pride in good hygiene downtown)
Initially it was funny and cute but Ive been thinking this is coming from someone who has never even had sex but she has this imaginary expectation of porn penis.
Anyway, would I be the butthurt asshole to confront her and tell her to get more mature? ###### | NTA. She's probably insecure, though, and trying to look knowledgeable but she's just coming off as a jerk. ###### |
I've been friends with this girl for a short while and she has this habit of playing devil's advocate in conversations to see the 'true side of me' as she puts it, her reasoning is that if she doesn't do it I won't give my true opinion.
She's done it since we met, I don't even know who she is since she always seems to be lying. She does it over topics such as depression, evolution, or any other topic that is much lower in weight.
Today we got into an argument about the existence of God to which I blew up because she had been starting these discussions about religion and God for a while, I just took it as a religious person trying to convince me.
When I blew up she told me she was actually an atheist, not a Muslim. I asked her why she continued to make these arguments if she knew she was an atheist all along and she just said that she wanted me to blow up so I could show her how I truly think.
She always cites wanting to be a lawyer and that lawyers do this and I'm just sat there thinking, 'that's really screwed up'. I feel like some sort of lab rat that she finds interesting and wants to extract information from.
I've asked her to stop but she always does it subtly.
I've been thinking of cutting ties recently and this just encouraged me to do it even more. ###### | NTA. She's playing mind games and gaslighting you for kicks. I encourage you to cut ties - while trying so hard (for reasons unknown) to see "the real you", she isn't letting you see the real her. You deserve genuine friends who genuinely interact with you. If she wants to play devil's advocate, she can say so like a normal person, "But playing devil's advocate, suppose that I was XYZ, or you saw ABC, wouldn't that change your position?" ###### |
So me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years now (the first time we went on a date and kissed passed a few days ago, she didn’t even mention it but I did). But I’m not too mad because our official relationship began about a couple months later.
So we have a dog together. She’s upset that I didn’t FaceTime her with our dog saying happy Mother’s Day. We are in a lost distance relationship.
She’s super mad at me saying I never do anything special. But I tried to explain that if we were to celebrate this, we should do it on pet parents day. She says whatever and hung up. I get that I forgot to do that but like, is it really that big of a deal?
Don’t get me wrong, I love my dogs and I understand they can be very difficult to take care of but celebrating it the same day people with actual kids? ###### | NTA. She's not a mother, and there's no reasonable expectation that a person should interpret Mother's Day to mean "owns a pet." I am assuming she did not extend you the same courtesy on Father's Day. ###### |
I have a very close friend, J, we have known each other for over 20 years, lived together, talk regularly, supported each other through ups and downs and since we both lost our parents have said how much we regard each other as family. Truly, we have always said how we feel like sisters.
J is getting married next year, to a great guy and I'm thrilled for her. She has another friend she has known since school, this friend B is not a great friend. She was not supporting of J's engagement, was mean about J's choice of outfit as it isn't a traditional white dress and said she doesn't want to be part of the wedding party as she doesn't want to be 'the fun police'.
I saw J this weekend and she said she had something difficult to tell me, she and her fiance have decided to have a family only wedding (when I first heard this I thought, I honestly thought Id be included) mainly because she doesn't want to invite B and J said she can't invite me and not B as that would create drama.
I said she should have whatever wedding she likes, it's her day. I didn't tell her that I am truly crushed she doesn't include me as her family after so many years of saying I am. I have no blood relatives left, they all died so this is a real blow.
However, this is the AITA bit. J has said she really wants me there when she gets ready on the morning of her wedding, helping her get ready etc and also to organise her Hen party and help with planning her wedding - but I wont be going. To any of it.
AITA for saying no? I really want to be part of her day but I think this is just unfair on me.
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tl;dr: Im not being invited to my best friends wedding because she doesnt want to invite her other friend and doesnt want to upset her and is using a 'family only' wedding as and excuse. Yet she wants me to do all the things I would have done if I were invited and acting as her bridesmaid. ###### | NTA. She's more concerned making drama with someone who she clearly doesn't want there, but still wants your support only to leave you out behind the door later? Looks like your friend is not that good of a friend. ###### |
Throwaway account for privacy reasons.
My (18M) girlfriend (19F) found out about 4 days ago that she didn’t get this dream job offer that she got an interview for. I spent the next day and half consoling and comforting her, after which she thanked me and said she felt better. The following night, I found out I got elected to a minor position in this organization I’m involved in. I mentioned it to her, she congratulated me, and then I changed the subject back to what our conversation was. Afterwards, she was more quiet and standoffish, and didn’t really want to talk anymore. This morning, she finally told me that she’s upset at me for making her feel worse about her job rejection by mentioning that I got elected. I said back that I’m sorry about that, but we had stopped talking about her job two days beforehand, and I only mentioned that I got the position for about a minute, and made no more conversation of it past that. She got more mad at me after I said that. AITA for mentioning it? I feel like a dick after hearing her but I also don’t think the manner I went about it was wrong. ###### | NTA. She's likely feeling a bit raw and disappointed over the lost opportunity, but you were well within your rights to say that you were elected to a position. It's okay to have success, as long as you weren't being over the top about it. ###### |
About six months ago I installed security cameras on my property. One indoors to monitor the baby's room and three outdoors: one facing the porch, one my backyard, and one my rear door. I have a hot tub by the rear door.
Having cameras facing front door or porch is pretty typical, right? People use Ring doorbells or what-have-you and don't think anything of it. Because I thought this was fairly standard for 2020, I didn't tell my friends. Whenever I entertained guests, it was always indoors where the only camera is somewhere a guest would never go. Something I should mention is I *never* let guests use my hot tub.
Back in February I had to leave town for a few days and asked a friend to visit and let my dog out and feed her a few times a time. My friend lives only a block away and I compensated her for her time. Unbeknownst to me until two weeks ago, apparently she used my hot tub. Not just her, but two friends of hers did as well. And, they decided to hot tub without clothing.
If it's not obvious, I don't check my cameras often unless there's a reason to. Neighbour told me the day prior that he saw someone get dropped off at my house while I went to do groceries, go into the backyard and then leave. So I wanted to see what they did.
So I have footage of a friend with two other women changing in front of my hot tub, hot tubbing for an hour or so, then leaving. I told my friend that I wish she had asked permission before using my hot tub and told her what I saw and she freaked out calling me a pervert. She says it's my responsibility to tell people I have cameras around my property, even if their usage is benign.
She wants to file charges against me for voyeurism. Sure, I watched the clip but only to see the extent of it and I deleted it after I was done with it. I counter that her friends were trespassing and I didn't permit use of my hot tub to begin with.
Am I the asshole in this situation? ###### | NTA. She's lashing out because she got caught violating your trust. ###### |
Shes 38f(im 29F if it matters), divorced 2 times, 1 kid from each, high school diploma, and a secretary. which i dont find anything wrong with shes getting by fine enough. But she keeps complaining about being single and how no "real man" that meets her standards will step up for her and her kids.
Her standards are mostly not too bad, around her age, respectful not sexist or racist, likes kids but there are a few that seem kinda unreasonable given her life... : never married and no kids, at least a bachelors, high earner so he can support the entire family while she quits to get a degree.
Basically everything she isnt, and something very rare among men in their late 30s. and the reason she wants himchildess may be the worst, she doesnt want to raise another womans kids but expects him to raise 2 other guys kids.
I told her that her wants were a bit hypocritical and she blew up, called me sexist, then went on to call mom about it so Ive been getting angry texts from her now too... ###### | NTA. She's just mad because you're right. ###### |
She says her $40k+ trust fund is for her future. Makes me feel like my income from work is not for us. The whole 'your money is ours, but mine is mine.'
And I am steadily paying for more and more, without any help (aside from TrumpBucks, which are already gone) because her paycheck has been cut by more than 80%, as she teaches private lessons for various musical instruments, and demand is LOW.
I could afford to cover all expenses/bills, but not indefinitely, and she is doing nothing to generate extra income. I also foot a $300/month weed habit for us, of which she smokes roughly 75% of, outside of current/past bill contribution, which is roughly 50/50. I also drink fairly heavily, and this habit is one I may have to curtail, as affording all this will get tricky quick-like.
On top of that, she is also getting pissed at me for doing less than half of the house chores, while she stays home all day, every day. What little work she is doing is done over Zoom/Skype.
Also, last week she said she would take some money out of the trust to help out, but refused to do so today after she called me at work and started yelling at me about bills and chores. I sent her a a few hundred to cover the gaps and she is still acting like I do nothing of worth for "us."
Called me a POS today because I forgot to take the garbage to the curb before I left for work this morning, which is one of the things I usually take care of, along with the kitty litter boxes.
Also of note, she has been threatening to move back in with her parents, as they "actually care about her," which, given everything else, is also highly hurtful to hear.
I realize there is a level of toxicity here, but I guess I want some validation that I'm not fucking crazy and that this is abusive, disrespectful, and entitled behavior. ###### | NTA. She's financially abusing you, making you share your finances without sharing hers, placing an extraordinary expectation on you, and verbally abusing you while you're taking on two people's financial burden. Plus manipulating you with the threat of leaving.
Call her bluff, let her go to her parent. If you're paying all expenses for the home, she's got no entitlement to stay there. Refuse to fund her weed addiction. Buy your own food and nothing more. Do as many chores as you're capable and comfortable of doing alongside your job, and leave the rest. I strongly recommend reconsidering this relationship. ###### |
My GFs family is pretty "high class" or whatever you want to call it, they're basically the opposite of my family in many ways both financially and socially. My mum smokes and drinks a lot and is a single mother who has been married twice, while my GFs mum is the opposite. My mum and my family are not educated and most of them have not gone to university but my GFs family are all educated and really value education which my GF does as well. They're just more "well off" if you can say so and compared to my girlfriend I feel a bit stupid in many ways because she literally knows everything and can hold a conversation about anything while I'm just a simple car guy who is a welder.
So yesterday we were talking about the future and she just popped up "when will you get an education? I mean you can't be a welder forever can you"? I told her I don't know... i might go into a specialised field or something which requires education but then she said "it's still not very academic" She joked about how our kids will have one dad who works as a welder and a mum who works in something that is seen as "better". She was being very sarcastic about it and tried to make it seem as if it was not a mean thing to say. She went on and said "if you don't get an education then our kids will probably do the same, they probably want to be welders as well etc" she has previously "talked bad" about people who work in physical field where your body is required and she says that those people are stupid.
She has previously pointed out some things I do and joked about how "white trash" it is such as me smoking weed or liking cars. I have had a long day so I snapped at her and called her a "pretentious bitch". In return I was called an asshole and that she was only trying to help me but she was so rude about it. She is not talking to me right now.
AITA? ###### | NTA. She's being condescending and classist. It sounds like she doesn't respect you if she thinks people who work in manual labor are stupid, which is also really naive on her part.
My spouse and I, who are from poor/disadvantaged backgrounds, have discussed how it's hard to date someone who comes from a different background as you. Not to say that it's impossible but you are more likely to run into this kind of thing. Worldviews where you see poor people as stupid or lesser are really entrenched by the time you reach adulthood and you might have a hard time convincing your GF otherwise unless she is really open minded and willing to change her position. ###### |
So my girlfriend recently was hooked onto this stupid tiktok trend where the girl gets naked and goes up to their boyfriend while he is gaming to see what he would do.
Now she being hooked onto the trend wants me to do the same as some of the guys in the tiktoks where they immediately pause their game and jump onto their girlfriends. I play league of legends and the people who play it know that you cannot pause the game and if you AFK or leave the game you will get penalties for it.
She told me either I quit the game or i dont ever touch her again. I told her a very reasonable rule that she thinks its unreasonable with it being, I do not mind spending time with her if she wants it before i start a game for a few hours, but I do mind where she purposely wants me to quit just as I started a match as I do not want to leave in the middle of a game. However I do not mind after the game, I stop playing and spend time with her. She told me she just wants to see me want her and she doesnt care about my game and she finds it very unreasonable.
AITA for saying no I wont quit in the middle of my game? ###### | NTA. She's basically waiting until you are doing something else and then demanding your attention. Seems pretty shitty to me. ###### |
Note: This was 3 months ago
My sister asked me if my niece could try an babysit our children. I assumed it would be cheaper because of a family discount and all that. Apparently it’s not. She charges $10 per hour per child. I have 2 10 year olds. They don’t need that much babysitting. I’m not paying 50% more just for some cousin bonding.
My regular babysitter has been with me for 4 years. She’s turning 18, and has a flat price of $13, plus the experience she has with them. My sister is calling me a cheap “scum-bag” for letting price go over family bonding. The thing is, I’d be perfectly happy for them to bond for free. We do live pretty close.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA. She's basically just trying to charge you to interact with your kids. Tell her she's more than free to visit whenever. ###### |
My 35F wife 37F has a cavity she’s needed fixed since January, but didn’t want to do it as she is afraid of dentists. Me too, so I totally get it. Since then, though, it’s gotten a lot worse.
Now she won’t go because she’s afraid of the coronavirus. Normally I would shrug off not wanting to go right now as overkill but if that’s what she wants, that’s fine. Crowns are expensive but that’s her choice and I’d rather pay for the crown than make her unhappy.
The problem is, it’s gotten so bad that I can’t sleep next to her. Riding in the car is difficult. Our daughter noticed too. When I bring up the fact that her breath is bad, she gets enraged. I’ve brought it up twice in the last two months, but now I don’t want to anymore. She just starts insulting me and making me feel like an asshole for saying anything.
Three times I’ve asked “can you please make a dentist appointment?” In exactly those words, and each time she becomes furious. I’ve been to the dentist myself. Waiting another 8 or 9 months for her to go though is going to be very hard on me.
Also I’m sure at some point this will effect her job. Nobody wants to work around someone whose breath smells like rotting teeth.
I sympathize with her not wanting to go to the dentist, but but I don’t feel like she needs to me mean to me about it. AITA for asking my wife to fix her tooth and her very bad breath? ###### | NTA. She will be a in a whole lot of pain soon enough and she will wish she went earlier. ###### |
this happened last year but it got brought up again recently and opinions are split. more like 'are we the asshole'
context: i grew up in a country where usage of the word 'fag' is very lenient. i also grew up in a family of smokers. this is important because where i live, 'fag' is common slang for a ciggie. i didn't know 'fag' has offensive connotations until i was 11 when someone called me a 'fag' and i asked my mum why they were calling me a ciggie and she explained. all my LGBT friends use it and have no problem with the word when used in the context of a cig.
onto the story: there was this exchange student (Beth) from America who was at our school and she gravitated towards my friend group. one day at lunch a few of my friends had gone for a smoke break and Beth asked where they had gone and i replied 'oh they've gone for a quick fag, they'll be back soon, don't worry'. Beth seemed fine the rest of the day but something was off. the next day she told the group she was leaving because 'certain members are homophobic'. my friends and I knew what she was on about and explained how we meant the word and that we meant no harm. she said fine but didn't want to stay because of the negative connotations so she left the group but we still spoke sometimes in the group chat we had.
a few weeks later she messaged saying she was upset that none of us had apologised to her. we were confused. this is going to sound weird but she didn't seem like she wanted an apology more she just wanted to move on. no one said anything (only I and one other person had 'read' the message) and she got annoyed and left the chat. everyone felt shitty but no one knew what to do so we left it. Beth went back home a few months later and we never heard from her again.
so, AITA?? ###### | NTA. She was in your country, she can't possibly expect to enforce American English on you. ###### |
So for context I (16F) live with my mother and two younger brothers.
My mom sometimes enters the bathroom while I’m occupied in it. This doesn’t happen every single time i’m in there, but over the years she has done it quite a lot.
I take around 30 minute showers. Sometimes she needs to use the restroom or she needs to apply her makeup and she just doesn’t wait for me to finish showering. She shouts at on the other side of the door and says, “I’m going to go in!” I shout back no, yet she does it anyways. To do this she gets a fork and picks at the door lock she can open the door.
The thing is I’m not comfortable with her just walking in when I’m taking a shower. I’m uncomfortable with her seeing me naked at this age honestly. When I told her this she said, “Why? You’re a girl and besides, I saw you naked all the time when you were very young.” I retort that she never goes into the bathroom when my younger brothers are taking a shower and she just says “that’s because they are boys. I can’t do that.”
At this point I’m beyond frustrated so I just walk away. The next day while I’m taking a shower the same thing is about to happen and I just lose it. I yelled “You are so fucking annoying” and my mom is so angry. I’ve never sweared or said anything that aggressive like that towards her before.
When I finish showering she goes on a 15 minute rant saying things like how I disrespected her and that she can do whatever she wants because she owns the house.
I am currently grounded. She took my old tablet, she doesn’t let me watch TV, and I’m not allowed to use the house computer. However, I hid my phone away from her and I only use it while not near me and I’m in my room. She’s very angry at me and says that I will stay grounded until I give her my phone. I’m honestly not going to do that and my phone is the only device I use anyways so I don’t really care.
So Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. She was continually violating your privacy and her reasoning was flawed. I’m not sure how she didn’t expect you to lash back at her. She picked the lock too?! You have every right to be pissed at her. She disrespects you’re privacy and doesn’t listen when you say no! ###### |
My friends and I (20M, we all around 20) go into a group facetime call and just chill and talk on it. Sometimes we play games, but we mainly just talk, we usually call for literal hours.
Theres this one girl in our group call, that has recently started learning how to play the ukulele.
It's great and all, but its really annoying to hear it over the mic, shes not bad, but she makes alot of mistakes, she keeps plucking strings until she finally hits the right one, which is what makes it such an annoyance.
I've literally asked her a handful of times to stop because its really loud over the mic, whenever I do she just starts singing to drown me out.
When were playing games, all I hear in the background is a shitty ukulele and a decent voice.
This past monday, she joined the call and she was holding her stupid ukulele. I clicked on her icon, and muted it. Since then I've muted her during all the calls because it seems like all she wants to do is just play the ukulele, I've realized that she doesnt even notice because she never talks. Not one of my friends in the call said a word about me muting her because I assumed they all agreed it was annoying as fuck.
Today she found out that I was muting her without her knowledge and she bitched and cried about how much of a dick move it was to do something like that, and now everyone is acting like I'm a POS. If everyone had such a huge problem with it, then they should have said something. AITA? ###### | NTA. She was being rude, you asked her to stop, and she tried to drown you out by singing. ###### |
Today I got a brand new lego set for the first time in 5 years for my birthday. My step dad gifted it to me. The set is the lego ideas steam boat Willie. After I finished building it I kept it on my desk and I love and play with it as I love Disney.
I have a 13 year old half sister who in the morning took that set and ripped apart the white pieces from the boat and added it to some of her buildings. When I came into my room I was distraught as I loved that set. I told my mom my sister took my pieces from the set. My mom told me that my sister did not do anything and did not took those pieces.
I then went into my sisters room and I counted up the pieces I was missing. I ended up finding most of the pieces but the two exclusive mini figures I had to destroy most of my sisters set when I founded. I reconstructed the boat but I was crying. My step dad came in and found what was wrong I told her my sister stole pieces from my set he told me he is going to get the same set and he is going to get me another small set to make up for it. I was excited.
Here is where I might have been the asshole. My sister went into her room to see the buildings that she made complete collapsed. She was crying. My mother ran up there and instantly called me to her room and demanded answers. My step dad came in and told her what happened but my mom want's to ground me for messing with my sisters room and ruining her buildings. My sister is crying and thinking I am the huge bad guy. She says I am a bad person for invading her privacy and ruining her hard work.
English is my fist language but my hand writing is really bad. ###### | NTA. She tore your set apart to add pieces to hers, and when you did the same she threw a fit. ###### |
My friend "bought" my knock off apple pen for $20, she still hasn't given me the money for it yet. I never used the pen to draw as I thought I would when I bought it from eBay but I used the magnetic cap as a fidget type of stress reliever and really miss it. I have avoided giving her the charger till she pays me but my friend found a charger that works with it. I keep asking her to pay me and now she just keeps saying that I need to wait. If I don't get the money by the end of June will I be a bad person if I ask her mum to get her to give it back to me? Also I'm sorry if this sounds childish I just want to know if I'm in the right or wrong for it. ###### | NTA. She took it with the promise of paying for it and she hasn’t paid it yet. Tell her mom about it as soon as possible so she can’t make up a story to make you in the wrong. ###### |
So this is a throwaway because my sister is in here. Writing from a phone so excuse the shitty format.
So I(f18) recieved the first gift from my boyfriend this month. We're in a long distance relationship so I was all excited and stuff. He bought me a silver necklace, chocolates, and a dozen pairs of lovely and funny socks.
So me and my sister were discussing the gift and I tell her that we can't share this one. Keep in mind that we always share stuff and gifts and she's free to eat form the chocolate my boyfriend bought whenever she likes. But this gift is from my boyfriend to me and it's so special to me. She then throws a tantrum and calls me and my boyfriend names. She tells me I wish you'd both die. This is all because I told her she won't be wearing MY socks. Maybe she's traumatized or surprised from my response. Plus, she didn't get to date before so maybe she doesn't understand why I said what I said. But this doesn't give her the right to do all of this.
I tried speaking with her but she acts like I betrayed her. I told her to put herself in my shoes but she won't give me an answer. So reddit, am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. She told you, her twin, that she hopes you DIE?? Oh my gosh!! That is an ALARMING overreaction. ###### |
Hello, I am relatively young and my first language is English so flame me if I get anything wrong.
Recently I dated this girl and everything was fine at first, I let her use my belongings (My drawing pad, hoodies and some other items) under the condition that I would get them back eventually. I never asked for the items back when we were dating because I didn’t really have any use for them.
After we broke up, I asked her if I could have the items back and she said sure, I waited 2 days for her to return them but during that period I heard rumours that she was planning to destroy the hoodies and the other stuff, I confirmed this from mutual friends and I asked again if I could have them back but this time she laughed in my face and told me that I would never get them back.
I didn’t know what to do after that so I told her I would call the police for theft, she told me to calm down and she returned the items the next morning.
I got called out for it afterwards because I apparently over reacted and scared the shit out of her, so I was wondering, AITA?
TL:DR
Ex had my stuff, refused to give it back so I threaten to call the police for theft ###### | NTA. She threatened to commit a crime so you threatened to call the police. Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes. ###### |
This was years ago. I was a server and one of my fellow servers left his book with 100-ish dollars cash in it and forgot about it, pregnant server found it (in front of me) and decided to keep the cash and cut me in. Being friends with the server who left his book, i yanked his chain about "forgetting something" and eventually just told him what happened, and returned the money I had. I also told him about the entire situation. The pregnant server had apparently meant to keep her share for herself, and was promptly fired based on my testimony. I thought it was all in good fun, honestly. Had no intention to steal, was just messing with my friend. I definitely had no intention of having a coworker fired, but I think in some ways this is my fault. AITA? ###### | NTA. She stole from a coworker and promptly and rightly got fired. You do your friend a favour and I hope he got his money back.
There have been many times where I wished justice had come so swiftly to thieving or shady former coworkers. ###### |
So tomorrow my little cousin is having her 10th birthday party (close family only bc of pandemic). In April, my stepdad passed away from a sudden cardiac arrest. He'd been my and my siblings (19F, 17F, 15M) stepdad for over 13 years, and my 12 year old brother is his son.
My mom is wanting to bring a date to my cousin's party. My siblings and I (except for my youngest brother) discussed it and I was elected to tell her that we'd all rather she didn't. First of all, she hasn't met the dude before. Also, bringing some stranger to a family only event seems super weird. Finally, we think it would be very insensitive to my brother, who just lost his dad 3 months ago, to bring a new dude around.
When my parents got divorced she was with my stepdad and pregnant (on purpose) 3 months later, and honestly, it was kind of traumatizing to go from living with both parents to doing a joint custody arrangement and having a new baby on the way that quickly. My other siblings were too young to remember, but I don't think my youngest brother would handle having a new dude around so quickly well, after his dad dying so recently.
One of my aunties says that we should just leave it alone though because she thinks it's time for my mom to move on, and that I shouldn't "project my trauma" onto my brother. AITA? ###### | NTA. She sounds super insensitive. Bringing a random internet/blind date for a family event is very weird, especially when it is a birthday party. ###### |
So, my family has traditions for certain significant birthdays (18,21,30, 50, 75, 90). My next birthday will be my 30th. I'm female. On the 30th my dad takes the kid who is 30, their spouse, and any children they have on a cruise. My sister and I have a somewhat volatile relationship and it gets bad at times, I recently blocked her for over a month and considered not talking to her again.
Onward, my husband and I are not very social people and I have difficulty getting noticed when sister is around. I'm not sure she hogs all the attention on purpose,but nonetheless she does. My brothers can be great or big problems. My sister brought many people on her cruise with her, I did not go. I couldn't afford to. I want to this cruise to be about me and my husband. My sister will make is about herself and her daughter (6y/o). To avoid conflicts,I decided it would be just us and parents, no siblings or extended family. I discussed it with Dad and Husband and we decided it was for the best.
My sister threw a fit. She took it as a personal attack against her! She accused me of purposely making her sad and allowing her to participate in my birthday. She yelled screamed and cried about how mean I was being and how much she'd been looking forward to it. She basically threw a temper tantrum (she does this every few weeks, she's 32). The rest of the family understands, most weren't coming anyway. When I told her Mr reasoning she told me I need to change and be more outgoing so she could come and. threatened. to get to get details from my dad and book herself and her family anyway (Dad know not to tell her details)
I don't want to upset but this is my 30th birthday and my husband too since he is only a month and a half older than me.
AITA? ###### | NTA. She sounds ridiculous. And I don’t think you need to explain yourself because you don’t owe her answers, but if you wanted to I would leave it at “sorry sister, for my birthday I want to spend quality time with my husband and parents. I’m glad that for your birthday you were able to have a bunch of people on the cruise with you, making it special for you. What would make my birthday special for me is to make it more intimate.”
She sounds whack and childish. ###### |
Backstory: I (20F) live with my cousin Skylar (24F). We've been butting heads forever but it's a family renal.
She can be really cringy and it irritates me that she thinks everything she does is absolutely original, everything from wearing black nail polish in middle school to cutting cropped shirts. Last week she dyed her hair split half blond and half pink, it looks good but she hasn't shut up about how she hasn't seen anyone do their hair like that. For reference we live in a small town that is either suburban area or desert so it's not like there's a lot of style diversity.
Issue: We've been getting into arguments about personal space, mainly her live streaming in the living room daily because she expects me to keep quiet. Yesterday I was cooking and Skylar started streaming, make it seem like she was helping out but she was getting in the way. I asked her to record somewhere else and she left and said "no one wants to see your shitty food anyway basic b*tch."
Asshole Moment: I blew up followed her and told her that she's fucking cringy, with her not like other girls bull. She's still live and say to them "this is what I go through for being different, just because OTHERS envy originality". I just straight up laughed and spent 30 seconds pulling up a Brad Mondo video of girls doing split dyed hair and told her she's almost 25 following teenage girl tik toc trends acting like she's a fashion icon.
So about a thousand people saw this and she continued streaming crying. People are calling me an asshole and our family doesn't want to be involved but want to apologize for sake of peace. AITA? ###### | NTA. She sounds entitled and full of herself. People like that need a wake up call, you did her a favor. ###### |
So this happened yesterday.
My (14F) mother (43F) was mentioning report card and tests yesterday due to you-know-what. She eventually decided to go through all our old report cards. Now would be a good time to mention that I have a brother who is 9 and we suspect is mildly autistic.
So we go through them and eventually my brother joins in looking through them. So I find some of mine and I say something like “oh my god I got such good exam scores.” And I showed my mom and my brother that I got three 10s on some years and how I never noticed.
My brother then find his and his scores are more around 5/6. And he gets upset and goes down to his room. My mom then pulls me aside and said “you shouldn’t try to be better than your brother and don’t me a show off.”
I told that I can talk about my achievements all I want. I’ve previously also had to not mention my individual class scores when I got top of my class.
She got pretty upset and grounded me but I’m allowed keep my phone because of you-know-what. ###### | NTA. She shouldn't be grounding you for being proud of your achievements. It sounds like there's sone blatant favoritism going on. ###### |
Throw away account. Okay so I’m at a crossroad atm. A friend and I moved in together last year, but now we’re going to separate apartments. We got along really well, and moved out due to the fact that she got a boyfriend and wanted to move in with him.
Anyways, when it came to the security deposit, I offered to help her clean it since we split the security deposit. My friend insisted that her and her mom clean it since her mom is a professional cleaner and would clean better than me. Once again, I offered to help but they said that they don’t mind doing it.
A few days later, I get a text from my friend, asking if I could give her an extra $200 from my portion of the deposit since her and her mom spent five hours cleaning the place. The conversation went like this
Her: Hey! So mom and I were talking and think it’d be fair if you gave us $200 for cleaning the apartment
Me: Wait, what? Uhh no. I offered to help clean it. Had I known you were gunna charge me, I wouldn’t have had your mom clean it...
Her: Wtf, it took us five hours. My mom has a $80 an hour rate to clean houses.... we spent five hours cleaning it. $200 from the deposit is a steal.
Me: Like I said, no. I’m sorry but if you brought up that you were gunna charge me, I would have cleaned the house myself.
Now my friend is mad at me because to her, I’m being unfair. I told her she was being unfair because she should have told me that they were gunna charge me in the beginning. Also, the deposit was $1,000 so I’d only get $500. If they took $200, then I’d only get $300.
Tl;dr- Would I be the asshole if I didn’t pay my friend and her mom to professionally clean the apartment? ###### | NTA. She should of discussed payment before doing the cleaning her mother being a professional knows that and should of made sure costs were discussed. Your "friend" is trying to take advantage after the fact. ###### |
I (M27) went to high school with a girl (F27) but we lost contact for a few years. In January this year she randomly added me on Instagram and we got talking. She went on about how she always thought I was cute and that she had a crush on me. She definitely knew I liked her back then.
After speaking everyday for a month we decided it would be nice to go on a first date and have a proper catch up, face to face. However, due to our busy schedules we decided to do it when we weren’t in a rush to be anywhere. This is when COVID decided to make an appearance, which further delayed our plans.
Up until 3 weeks ago we were regularly FaceTiming and everything seemed to be going well. On that day 3 weeks ago, she messaged me and seemed a bit distressed. I responded and basically let her know that I was there to talk about anything she wanted and calm her down.
Here is were is gets a bit weird. She sometimes has delayed responses for days at a time, and I’m cool with that because I hate texting/social media. However, a week goes by and she still hasn’t opened my message, then another week, and today she eventually opens it. Low and behold, her response is an image of her kissing another guy. Actually, it’s the dad to her baby. That I had no clue existed.
Obviously I ignore this message, because I’m a bit flustered. She then proceeds to send a message saying ‘I decided to try with so and so again because I think it’s best for our baby.’ I tried to be as humble as possible and said ‘ I didn’t even know you were a mum, you should have just let me know in the first place, but all the best.’
Her response ‘see this is why I lost interest. You never message me back, and when I was down, you ignored me.’ I literally replied to her message 3 weeks prior. I ignored her again and she basically says that ‘ I didn’t fight hard enough for her.’
Like dude, we weren’t even dating. So why would I fight for you or chase you? I’m 27.
I’ve blocked her now, but AITA here? ###### | NTA. She should have disclosed the fact that she had a baby and still had a thing with the father of her child. You're not obligated to keep messaging her in light of this new (bombshell) information. This isn't high school anymore, the little games aren't cute even then, and they sure as hell aren't now. You dodged a bullet. Find a different, better girl who won't play games with you. ###### |
I’m sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language,
My friend has been a friend of mine for a long time, because she didn’t have a car I used to give her rides to fun activities we could both do like partying, going to the mall, going to the beach, you get the idea.
Well one day she got pregnant from an unknown guy in a party and she decided to keep the baby and jokingly said to me that I’m going to be the baby’s uncle (oh boy).
Well, I didn’t mind helping her from time to time, taking her to doctors appointments, going with her to the mall to get her some baby clothes, things that I honestly didn’t enjoy, I even had to miss work sometimes to help her but I knew she was in a tight spot and helped her anyways. This became something of a routine.
A month ago, she texted me that she needed me to take her to a doctors appointment for a routine check the next day in the morning (7 am). She sent the message at 10 pm and when she sent it I was already with my friends getting ready to go partying, well, I told her that and that I wouldn’t be able to go, when I told her, she started calling me demanding that I took them home so I can rest and take her and the baby to the doctors appointment, when I said no she got angry and started saying things like “you are not really a good friend” “I should take her baby more seriously” “it’s time to grow up” and I decided to ignore her from that point and we haven’t talked since.
Well one mutual friend found out about it and said that I’m really not a good friend and that I should have told the rest of the group so we could had decided what to do in the moment. But the thing is I hadn’t Had fun in such a long time because of me helping her that I didn’t want to do that and from that moment the group has been divided between the people who think I’m an asshole and the rest.
Before you ask, the rest of the group doesn’t have a car.
If there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes please let me know
So reddit AITA? ###### | NTA. She should grow up and learn the responsibility that comes with the choices she made. Being her only friend with a car does not make you her automatic chauffeur. Live your life. She's gotta figure hers out. ###### |
AITA for not helping out my stepmom in caring for my father?
My father and his wife have a 22 year age gap. I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad and maybe call him once a year on his birthday. His health has worsened in the last few years and now needs assistance to perform his day to day normal activities
Their daughter is 13 and obviously can't help much. Since they live in another state, I've tried to offer help by sending them money. I even told his wife that maybe it's time he is sent to a nursing home. She got really offended at the idea and told me that she wouldn't abandon him.
She wants me or my sister to come down to their state to help her out. I honestly don't know how. We are currently caring for our mom and stepdad. Our stepdad is going through chemotherapy, and we are looking after him and mom.
It's just not possible for us to move to another state right now.
I understand that she is doing it all alone. But I don't know I can help. She's not willing to move him to a home.
AITA ? ###### | NTA. She should either be looking at nursing homes or in home nursing for him. You cannot be expected to pick up and move in with a dad you barely talk to when he has a wife that can take care of him. You are nice to offer money to help out. Especially considering how much you are helping out your mom and step dad. ###### |
I have always been a fairly small guy, and at 5'8 weighed about 125 lbs. I was also fairly weak for a while. My girlfriend often teases me about this (completely jokingly, she means no harm by this at all) as she has been lifting regularly for over a year now, and was definitely stronger than me.
Recently the teasing has been getting more frequent, so just to spite her, I've been using the extra time in quarantine to start lifting with a few dumbbells in the house. It's been a bit over a month and although I'm still below average strength, I've overtaken my girlfriend in the amount of weight we can lift.
I can tell that this slightly upset her and she asked me that now that I've proven my point am I going to stop lifting. The thing is now that I've begun this journey, I actually really enjoy the routine and the process.
My girlfriend thinks that I'm an asshole because I did all of this just to get back at her, and though I did start with that intention, that is no longer my motivation.
AITA for lifting just to make a point and then not stopping? ###### | NTA. She should be excited you started lifting so you two could workout together. It’s also good for your health. She’s the asshole for all the teasing, sounds like it was too much or went too far. ###### |
I'm a trucker, so I'm on the road 6 days a week, working about 12 hours a day, and I keep my truck clean inside. My wife works 12 hours a week, and the house is constantly a mess, and when I say something to her about it, it usually pisses her off, then she says she'll do it, but never does. Am I being an asshole by asking too much of her to simply keep the house cleaned up? ###### | NTA. She should at least clean for herself considering that she is the one living with the mess most of the time. I can't understand how someone could be ok surrounded by a mess and dirtiness. ###### |
I was driving down Colfax which is a main Street in Denver the other day and I saw a lady taking pictures of a homeless person that was wearing a winter coat in 75° weather and passed out on their stomach like a starfish at bus stop in front of Sprouts which is a more annoying version of trader joes. It could have been for any number of reasons from alcohol drugs or heat exhaustion. But there was some typical Denver white girl in yoga pants who had an old film camera taking photos of this possibly dying person as some sort of artistic endeavor. I saw this for my car window, rolled the window down and started calling this lady a cunt and telling her what a piece of shit human being she was. I pulled over around to the other side of the street called the police and waited for them to arrive. Am I the asshole for calling somebody out using a clearly in need human being for some sort of black and white artistic experiment? Also, she had no intention of helping, told me to fuck myself and went back to taking pictures of graffiti and other bullshit. The police told me she was crap but didn't do anything illegal. ###### | NTA. She seems to lack the depth and warmth to be a cunt, however.
Good on you for calling for help and behaving as a *human being*. ###### |
Girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, living together for 2, she's 20F and I'm 21F
From what I've been told she was raised in a household where it was very "waste not want not"(?) And anything that so much as touched your plate got ate, no matter how full you are.
My girlfriend lives by that, she physically can't help it, I once watched her eat an entire plate of food, despite saying she was full less than half way and then be sick and continue to eat because she didnt want food wasted.
She has been getting counselling for the last 3-4 months but progress takes time.
Her mother recently came to visit us, we told her the issue and what we're doing is very small plates.
So, she insists on cooking and dishing up and every time it's been huge plates.
Her argument is that my girlfriend is an adult, obviously true, but she can't help it.
We've talked and argued several times.
I had enough and asked her to leave, she left after arguing about how my girlfriends an adult etc.
My girlfriend is fine with it, she never had a relationship with her mother anyway.
My mother said I was an AH and said that MIL was right, we should've set boundaries and not let her cook and I shouldn't have been involved.
We tried not to let her cook and it didnt work.
AITA? ###### | NTA. She said your gf is an adult, and then decided that gf doesn't get to decide what size plate to use for dinner in her own home. Nice woman. ###### |
My mother has two children, me (28M) and my sister (30F)
I’ve been with my wife for 7 years, she (34F) has a 9 year old son, I picked up the fatherly duties as his dad wasn’t around and he views me as his dad which I’m really happy about.
My mother is obsessed with having grandchildren, I always thought she saw my son as her grandson.
My wife and I Skyped my mother last week for her birthday (my sister and her husband were on the call too) when I mentioned the present I had delivered.
She said, maybe as a joke, “*the only present I want off you is a grand baby*”
I said that she’s already got one, my son- my wife and I are considering adopting too.
To sum up what she said; he isn’t biologically mine, she wants a child who’s biologically related to her.
It’s literally impossible for me and my wife to have a child together.
I told her to call me when she isn’t so up herself.
Apparently she’s upset and my sister wants me to apologise for being so snappy and ruining our mothers birthday over a harmless comment that didn’t even offend my son.
AITA? ###### | NTA. She ruined her own birthday by being a bag. My older sister has a 15 year old step daughter that we "got" when she was 2. My mom insists that she's the best grandkid ever because she was potty trained before she started coming round. You keep being a good dad, OP. It doesn't matter where your kids come from. ###### |
One of my high school best friend is getting married and it’s a big deal for her we’ve talked about this as long as I can remember. I’m really happy for her but I am a full time college student and I work on top of volunteer work for my major. I would really like to help but if I’m being realistic it’s an extra thing I can’t really deal with at the moment. She is very upset with me and doesn’t understand why I don’t have time to help. Yesterday she texted me that if I can’t start helping more she no longer wants me to be one of her bridesmaids. I told her I completely understand and to be honest I was upset but I can’t promise her time I don’t really have at the moment. Me saying I understand if she doesn’t want me to be a bridesmaid anymore apparently upset her more and my friends are now all upset with me and want me to basically beg her to be a bridesmaid. I would like to be apart of her wedding but I don’t want to beg her for it and promise to help her when I honestly don’t have the time so AITA? ###### | NTA. She probably thought threatening to remove you from the party would cause you to focus on her more. You agreed with her, which made her more angry because her attempts at manipulating you didn’t work. I think you were totally reasonable. ###### |
My friend posted a massive status on Facebook after discovering her bf cheated on her. She then called me crying basically saying the same thing. How her boyfriend cheated on her with another woman, how devistated she is, how she is a strong woman who doesn't need that, how men can never be trusted and finally how she would never do that to anyone she loves. I listened to it all, listened to her cry and feel sorry for herself. If it was any of my other friends then I definitely would have reacted differently but I know this girl way too well, she is my best friend and we have are always honest with each other.
She then was looking for reassurance but I didn't give her it. Instead I said this:
"Sorry if you are looking for a pitty party or for reassurance then you have definitely came to the wrong place. It's hard to feel sorry for someone who themselves cheat on every person they have been with and brags about it. Now you know how it feels to be cheated on. Sucks he did that? Of course it does but it's hard to pitty someone who does that shit themselves. Mate I do love ya but in all honesty I can't feel sorry for you right now. I have never agreed with cheating, don't like him doing it, never liked you doing it but I can't feel bad for you because you are being a huge hypocrite... sorry".
She was really insulted about that. She started screaming down the phone how I'm meant to be her friend but what I said was bitchy and what assholes say. Claimed I slut shamed her and said I was an asshole. Personally I don't see that as slut shaming at all when she has literally bragged about getting with guys behind their gfs backs and being with guys behind all her exes backs. She has never felt bad about any of that and actually was proud of her actions. So why should I feel sorry for someone who does that themselves?
AITA for saying that?
Edit: She is my best friend and I love her like she is my sister but that doesn't mean I agree with everything she does. ###### | NTA. She probably needed to hear that. ###### |
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