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As stupid as this all sounds my mil tried to get my wife to divorce me over a sandwich AND part of the family AGREED with her. I and my wife do not in any way think I am the TA but why not let strangers on the internet decide?
When I first started dating wifey MIL was actually nice to me, she was a decent human being. However I always felt she thought me and wifey were going to break up. Turns out I was right because the second we announced our engagement the shit hit the fan. She started screaming at my wife about not consulting with her first before getting engaged( she knew we were thinking about marriage before hand). She started picking fights with me for no reason. If I didn’t open the door for my wife, I didn’t have any respect for her. If I didn’t offer MIL to wash the dishes quick enough, I was going to be a terrible husband. She showed her toxic colors, you know the drift.
Here’s the part where I might be the TA. MIL came to visit us and I offered to make everybody sandwiches. Mil said she wanted a spicy one. I told her we had no spicy sauce and she insisted on having a spicy sandwich. She told me to go buy some than proceeded to tell me exactly what brand a kind of spicy sauce she wanted. Of course I was done with dealing with her shit but trying to still be polite. I told her nicely that I would not go buy some for her but she could go buy some if she wanted. That did not make her happy. Half and hour of banshee screaming later we kicked her out.
So of course MIL told everyone about the incident, where I was the bad guy who was abusive towards an old lady. Most of the family fortunately did not believe her BS but I did get quite a few angry texts and calls from other family members. Recently A family member texted me about how much a TA I was and I was like, I have free time why not post it on reddit? So AITA? ###### | NTA. She prioritises a spicy sandwich at the expense of wasting your time. Just because she's your elder doesn't mean you are obliged to do everything she says. ###### |
This happened a while back but I’m bored so here goes-
I had mentioned to my neighbour across the street that I was going to buy a sofa bed for our office to use for overnight guests. She offered us a small one she had in her basement that she never used. It was old but in good shape but the mattress had to be replaced. Said great, thanks, and I bought a new mattress for it (she knew I was putting money into it).
So after a year and a half or so I sold the couch and I had also listed a bunch of other stuff on FB because we were changing up the house and moving the guest room and getting a queen bed for it. The couch wasn’t worth anything, there are tons of free couches like it listed on kijiji, FB etc but I wanted to get back what I could from the mattress purchase (it was a $200 mattress and had been slept on once). I ended up selling it for $75.
Neighbour saw my FB ads and she comments on one of the pics saying that if I’m getting rid of the sofa bed she wants it back.
I didn’t respond and then that night she sends me a FB message, “As per my comment, blah blah want the sofa bed back if you are getting rid of it”.
I responded that i no longer needed it so I sold it to recoup some of the cost of the new mattress.
She then blocked me on FB.
Was I TA here by selling it and not offering it back to her first? I had tossed the original mattress. It literally did not occur to me at all to ask her if she wanted it back. ###### | NTA. She only wanted it back because it has "value" ###### |
AITA for wanting to retake my wedding photos?
Last summer I got married. My cousin is a photographer who lives in a different part of the country and she flew in to take the photos for my big day. There was never any discussion of it costing money, that it would be a family thing. She even stayed at my house while she was here. Family came from all over the country as we are quite a large family and it is rare to see us all in one place. She got tons of photos and she gave us a few of the ones that were took. Everything seems normal, until months go by and she still hasn’t sent over the rest of the photos. I’ve messaged her numerous times for her to send the wedding photos to me. Sometimes she responds, other times she doesn’t and just likes the message. I’ve offered to pay her money for the photos which she has declined to accept. I’m not sure what the issue is on her part at this point. It’s been a year and I still only have the handful of photos she sent over the day of the wedding.
I am considering hiring a photographer and getting some wedding photos taken again so I can have some to frame in my house. My only issue is I only have so many photos taken with my family and I’m disappointed because they won’t be the same as the ones taken on the wedding day. It will be impossible to recreate the photos we took when we were getting ready and leading up the whole day. I’m going to now have to get photos retaken and then when I post them on social media which then she’ll know I got them retaken. I feel like these wedding photos have driven a wedge in our family. ###### | NTA. She needs to send them to you, and it's weird she won't, especially if you offered to pay for them. ###### |
So back in March when schools moved to online, my neighbor (who’s very old fashioned) asked me for my wifi password so her middle school daughter could use it for her schoolwork. She told me she was on a waiting list for charter spectrum and they would get it set up in April. She offered to pay me for the time being, which I declined. Fast forward to July, I figured the daughter doesn’t need it for school anymore since it’s summer and I was experiencing slower speeds. I decided to change the password. That night the mom “randomly” comes over with a gift card and asked if it is ok to still be on the WiFi. I asked her if her daughter already started school again or was taking summer classes and she dodged the question a few times. We ended the conversation pretty awkwardly and I’m not sure what to do now. ###### | NTA. She needs to get her own WiFi. ###### |
She came to me the other day and sat me down and said she’d like to stop taking birth control pills. I said ok we can use problems, no condom. She said no she doesn’t wanna use condoms. When I asked why, she said they don’t work 100% of the time (which is fair I guess but no birth control method works 100% of the time); and that the deed doesn’t feel as good. So I said ok what do you suggest. She said she’d like for me to get a vasectomy. Apparently she did her homework and my insurance covers the entire procedure which is fair enough I guess but I’m only 21 and I’m not quite ready to give up my fertility. She said that’s not an issue because vasectomies are reversible. I said not all of the time. She got frustrated and said she’s sick of the burden being on her and I said how can that be so when you used B.C. long before you met me, and I’ve always said if you want to get off it then I’ll support you. She said so support me and get the vasectomy. I said absolutely not, if you want to go and get your tubes tied that’s o.k and I won’t stop you but I’m not ready to sterilize myself yet.
Since that conversation she’ll ask me again and again if I’ve thought about it. At first I said yes and my answer hasn’t changed. But she won’t quit so I just say no or ignore her. It’s so annoying. She won’t entertain IUDs and to be honest her reasoning for being against condoms is kind of suspect. So she asked again just now and I said no please quit asking me. No matter how many times you ask I’m not changing my mind and that’s that. Now she’s really angry at me because she thinkings VaSeCtOmIeS aRe So MuCh EaSiEr and I should suck it up but if I’m being honest the more she badgers me about it, the more convinced I am not to budge. So, AITA? ###### | NTA. She needs to do some research on vasectomy reversal. It can be between $4,000-$10,000 with a 30-70% success rate. If you want to have children in the future or aren't 100% sure you don't want any children, permanent sterilization should not be on the table. ###### |
My friends and I (all 20M) had plans to meet up for the first time in 2 months due to the restrictions being eased recently in my state and planned to meet in a park to kick a ball around and just catch up.
My girlfriend (20M) of 3 years asked to come before and I said no because I wanted to spend some time with just my mates and I feel like there is a bit of a different dynamic with her being there. She began to get very upset but I still didnt invite her.
She brought up that yesterday she invited me to see her 3 of her friends (they still saw each other regularly despite restrictions) which I did, we got along well and had a good time.
She claims that I am embarrassed by her but I dont think that that's true I just dont think this is the type of event to invite her to as it's just a group of 6 of us who have all been friends for 7 years.
I told her I would apologise to her and try to make it up to her if I was wrong so reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. She needs to be okay letting you have some tim alone with your friends. That being said, invite her next time. ###### |
My sister and I have been fighting for a while because she never gets me so much as a card for my birthday, and I always would get her an actual present. When I brought it up to her before my birthday in September she said that it’s because I make more than her so it’s only fair that I “give back”.
So I didn’t get her anything this year, which caused a huge fight in January when it happened. Then we didn’t talk until now, but we recently bought my husband a new car which sparked another argument because she said that if I have enough for a car I have enough for a present for her.
The point isn’t that I can’t afford the presents, it’s that she never does anything for me. She keeps going on and on about how I make more but I’d be happy with a card or a drawing or something cheap.
My mom thinks I should just buy her something to shut her up but I think that would be enabling her.
AITA? ###### | NTA. She needs to be grateful for what she has. ###### |
So growing up I had one of the most loving mothers one could as for, maybe even a little too much. Except for times when she had her episodes. She has schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and some other mental ilnesess I forgot about. But for most part, she is very normal and sane, due to her meds. But that's the problem. She never was a very religious person, but every year, without fault, she will have this desire to connect to god for some reason. She then start going to church at least 3 times a week, and it seems to give her some comfort, so I don't even mention it. But what surprises me is that everytime she finds a church, they tell her she doesn't seem to have any condition regarding her mental state. And that is true, because of her meds. Some time later they'll convince her that with god on her side, she doesn't need to keep taking those meds that are making her get fatter and fatter. God is all powerful and will help her get through it.
Do I even need to say it? After a couple weeks without the meds she is completly changed, she doesn't recognize me anymore, start hearing voices, seeing things that are there. When she gets like this, she thinks I'm the devil or some evil spirit.
Yesterday I moved to another house. The bills are coming up, it's all in her name, she doesn't have any money. Most likely she will end up on the streets in a couple months, and I don't care. I've had enough of this shit. Last time she got better I told her if she stopped taking her meds I would leave her to tend for herself, and so did.
So AITA for leaving her when I know she can't take care of herself? ###### | NTA. She may not have a choice about her chemical imbalances but treatment is a CHOICE. She is the only one that can make that choice. If you saved her now it would only enable the illness to thrive. This way she might hit hard times but it may be what she needs to lead her back to treatment and back into your life. ###### |
I'm a 13 yo female, my mom was a cheater and a liar during her marriage with my dad. She ended up just up and leaving when I was 9 and nobody knew where she went. Those months were the best months of my life, I loved my dad. She came back a little bit before Christmas after she missed my birthday. The fucked up thing is that she left again on Christmas Day! I've hated her since and always wanted to live with my dad. She would always yell at me for no reason and get me in trouble. I do have a younger sister, but she never gets in trouble for anything.
Fast forward a few miserable years, I'm in 6th grade so around 11 or 12. I attempted to end my life due to my mom's bullshit. She always made me feel like I was nothing. I thought it would all be over, but my attempt failed luckily. I was put into counseling and told my counselor everything. My dad has always known that I wanted to live with him (my parents have 50/50 custody). I get to decide who I want to live with full time in my freshman year of highschool ( I'm going to be in 8th grade)and I told my mom I was gonna choose my dad. She told me that that wasn't going to happen and that it would stay 50/50.
I told her my reasons for wanting to leave and she said I was lying. That none of that happened. I was livid with anger and told my dad what she said. He confirmed everything I said and she wouldn't believe it. I told her my mind was made up and ever since she's been trying to buy my love, but she still yells at me and does everything she's been doing. I'm still going to live with my dad, but now I feel kinda bad for her.
AITA? ###### | NTA. She made terrible choices. Protect yourself from her. ###### |
So my wife calls me into the room and proceeds to say "Hey Google, how do I get my husband to stop being annoying?" and starts laughing. I suppose in her defense this was said somewhat jokingly, so I just rolled my eyes and walked away. In the next room, I ask our other Google home the same thing about my wife. I was also half kidding, and knew I was going to get the same answer of "Sorry, I can't help with that." Then my wife walks into the room and starts talking about how that's not nice and starts demanding an apology from me. Needless to say, she didn't like the apology I gave, and went on to tell me she hopes a wild animal attacks me while I'm out for a walk. Better judgment would suggest that I shouldn't have said any of that but AITA for not giving a sincere apology here? It seems to me like she thinks she can demand an apology whenever she wants, and I just have to bow down to her and say "Yes, dear." ###### | NTA. She made a silly joke, you laughed it off, like a good sport. You made the same silly joke, and she decided to turn it into a fight with you. Sounds like she was baiting you to begin with and an argument was inevitable because she was looking for one. Tell her to fuck off.
EDIT: maybe don’t say “fuck off” though. Use better words obvi. Good luck OP. ###### |
I (17 pre everything mtf) have recently realised that I would be comfortable in life as a transgender woman. Unfortunately due to conservative parents I’m going to have to wait until I move out to transition.
When I realised this, the first person I told was my (now ex) girlfriend (17), a little bit of background she is clearly of Asian descent but her parents are white as snow, it’s clear to everyone shes adopted. She seemed supportive at first (using correct pronouns and my chosen name) she even said she would stay with me through my transition, I told her not to spread the word because my Dad could ship me off to conversion therapy if he heard about this.
At first I was happy to have told her but when I woke up I was flooded with messages from literally everybody in my year. Some where nice offering make up tips and the like, but some where calling slurs such as tranny or trap. And then I realised that there is a high likelihood that this is all going to get back to my Dad via people in my year telling their parents about the situation and then I’m royally screwed.
I messaged my ex asking if she told anyone. She claimed to have only told a few. I then asked where literally everybody in my year knows now. She told me to grow up and how accepting people are. I then reminded her of my VERY conservative dad and she responded with an eye roll emoji. That really pissed me off so I said “At least my biological parents give a shit about me and didn’t just sell me out to some random ass family” she left me on read after this and according to her friend she was crying on FaceTime.
In hindsight I could see she meant well by telling her friends but I specifically told her not to because of the consequences that would unfold if the word got around. I feel like an asshole for what I just said but I suppose it’s up for you to decide. ###### | NTA. She literally risked your life by outing you like that. I wish you a happy, healthy, *safe* new home. ###### |
Okay, so I’m writing this on behalf of myself and my housemates (7 of us total). Recently, it was one of my housemate’s birthday and invited a handful of people over including this girl. He let her sleepover at our house along with some others because they were all drunk and would’ve had to drive home.
In the morning, everyone leaves except the one girl. She continues to stay in our house all day- while she knows none of us except the former birthday boy who was passed out all the next day. She wakes up and starts drinking one of my housemates bottles of whiskey without permission and then goes to the grocery store. She buys a handful of random shit like a carton of eggs, cream cheese, coffee creamer, a wrap, a container of sauce. Note that she asked us if we wanted anything before leaving.
She wanders around the house all day and leaves and comes back again and ifs visibly fucked up. She even said to me that she’s been “going all day.” Then finally she gets the hint that it’s weird she’s there bc we don’t know her. She leaves and then has to come back for her phone– again bc she was drunk all day.
We don’t hear from
her until a few days later, she tells the birthday boy that she wants us to venmo her for that shit back. Like dude– we don’t know you, you were fucked up at our house, and left shit. We ate most the groceries so what should be done?
Am i the asshole for not eating the shit / then not venmoing her? ###### | NTA. She left it there, she could have taken it with her. No one asked her to buy it. Tell her the whiskey she drank without permission is her payment. ###### |
I honestly don't know if I did the right thing. I live by myself, and my little sister was over for the weekend, and this has been eating at me, so I need judgment.
My sister (12) was ranting about how she feels her parents (she's my stepsister) always favor our little sibling, and she had _quite_ the list of examples.
Personally, the way her parents, my parent and step parent, made it clear how I was the least favorite child has damaged me quite badly, as in, I needed therapy and all the shit. I wanted to be there for my little sister, so I told her that, while it broke my heart that I cannot fix it for her and she is stuck in the same situation I was stuck in, I know how she feels, and that I felt the exact same way when I was younger, and that I am also seeing that her little sibling is being favored over her, so she is not just imagining things. I told her that I am always there for her, she can call me whenever she needs to vent, and if she really can't take it anymore, she can always schedule to come over to my place to spend a bit of time away from her parents to just let it all out.
I am now wondering if I shouldn't have just tried to affirm her of the fact that her parents love her a lot. As in, I _tried_ talking to them when I was going through it, but they are seriously not aware of the fact that they are treating different children differently, no matter how many examples you have. I mean, I _am_ convinced that they love her, but I just think that they don't realize that they are doing this to their daughter.
I am kinda scared that by telling her that they put me through the same thing, I may have planted a seed that might drive a wedge between them, while it might have been better for her and her parents to just try to smooth it over. So, AITA? ###### | NTA. She left having been heard, believed, respected, and with a safe place to use again later. ###### |
Am I the asshole for freaking out on my girlfriend for making me think she’s pregnant?
For some context, we’re both 17 and going into our senior year of high school. My parents had me at a really young age and it sort of derailed their lives. For this reason, I’ve been so scared of having kids of my own, especially at a young age with the fear of not being adequate to care for them, or it stunting my dreams. I’m not sure if I’ll even want kids ever. I’ve expressed this to her and explained how terrified I am of parenthood. She and her niece (16) decided to play a prank on me where they send me a picture of a positive test and tell me she’s pregnant. I was skeptical at first, but I called her and she was believably crying and eventually told me when I said I had to tell my mom and ask for guidance. Once she told me it was a joke, I hung up and wouldn’t take any of her calls. She expressed remorse and I’m starting to feel I may have overreacted a bit, however I feel like this isn’t just some irrational fear, there’s some deep rooted psychological problems involved in this, and I don’t think she understands. AITA? ###### | NTA. She knew that was a deep fear of yours and chose to exploit it for laughs. You cant trust this girl. Dump her. ###### |
I live in an apartment that I moved into in September 2019. Since arriving, I have had probably close to 20 packages show up at my door addressed to someone I've never met. Let's say the name is Autumn. The packages all have my address and Autumn's name. Since they're not addressed to me, I just leave them outside and eventually they've all been picked up. I've never seen anyone pick them up, but they're always gone in 2-3 days.
At first I thought it must be the previous tenant who forgot to forward their mail, but I've never gotten a piece of mail addressed to Autumn. I do get mail addressed to previous tenants occasionally, but never a single piece addressed to her. I even mentioned this to my building manager, and she said she's never heard of Autumn. It's possible that she lived at this address with someone else and was just never on the lease, but still, she's never lived here.
My guess is that she has her packages sent here because we have a gate with a code, as opposed to other apartment buildings in my city which are open to the street. Almost all the packages have been marked on the outside as expensive cosmetics brands. I get that she doesn't want her stuff stolen, but it kind of pisses me off that a stranger is using my address as a free PO box. Like, if she can afford to order expensive makeup 2-4 times a month surely she has a little extra cash for a PO box, right?
On top of it all, this means that a stranger who has never officially lived in my building is still using our gate code to gain access to the building frequently. Which is in itself kind of skeevy, right?
I've considered leaving a short "please stop having your packages sent here" note, but haven't acted yet. ###### | NTA. She is massively, for obvious reasons no one has to explain.
Every time you get a package like that, take it inside so she can't get it. That breaks her scheme right there. They aren't yours, but you can and should take them inside and then eventually make a trip to UPS or whoever send it and explain that the address is yours, but the person's name who is on the package doesn't live there and it must have been an error. Have it sent back to the shipper.
If you catch the deliver guy while he is there, refuse delivery and insist it goes back with the delivery guy. If this is through USPS, go to your USPS location and ask to fill out the form preventing mail delivery to your address for that person's name.
If she can no longer get her packages from outside your apartment this scheme of her's stops working and she will stop putting your address in. She might put someone else's address but at that point it's not your problem.
And as to why she is doing it, have you ever considered that it's someone buying merchandise with stolen credit cards, putting a fake name and your address for delivery and they pick it up from your place to avoid the stolen goods being tracked to where they actually live? You could be being used in an illegal, fraudulent scheme. ###### |
We have a friend who came out openly as a lesbian two years ago (we're all 15 y/o now) and ever since the beginning of the last school semester, she's been touching me.
She was always hugging me from behind, or pinching my butt, or squeezing my breasts. At first it didn't bother me because my friends and I all playfully do this to each other, but then I started to notice that she was doing it more frequently to me than them.
Whenever we sat down, she always found some way to sit next to me, and always found some way to put her hand on my knee.
Our group likes to do "air kisses" - where you kiss the air on each side of someone's cheek - but more than once, she has "accidentally" kissed my actual cheek. But she never "accidentally" kisses any of our other friend's cheeks...
Right before they canceled school, she made a beaded bracelet for everyone in our friend group, but mine and hers were the only ones with hearts on it.
I'm too afraid to tell any of my other friends what she is doing to me because I don't want them to think I'm homophobic. COVID has been a safe haven for me because it gave me an excuse to avoid her for many months.
But we're all supposed to hang out tomorrow and I don't know if I can keep doing this. She's touched me so much that even as I write this I can think forward to tomorrow and already feel her touching me again.
Will I be the asshole if I tell her to stop?
TL;Dr I have a lesbian friend who touched me so mucb that I want to tell her to stop touching me, but our group is a very touchy-feely group and I don't want my friends to accuse me of being homophobic. ###### | NTA. She is making you uncomfortable, and that's not okay. You have a right to feel comfortable in your own skin and around your friends. Not wanting to be overly groped by someone who happens to be a lesbian doesn't make you homophobic, it just makes you a person who doesn't want to be overly groped.
I wouldn't necessarily call her out in front of everyone else. But perhaps let everyone know that you're uncomfortable being touched (AKA, don't announce "\[Friend\], don't touch me" when you're in front of everyone). If she gets upset, that's not on you -- because if she truly sees you as a friend, she should respect your wishes. ###### |
I recently re-connected with a friend from high school when her husband was accepted into a masters program at the same university where I am attending grad school. We were both really excited when we found out we would be living in the same city.
However. She is vastly different from the person I used to know. She was SOOO ambitious in high school and both of us had dreams of attending medical school and maybe even going into private practice together. (I know, I know, we were young and naive when we made these plans and people change). Sometime in college (we went to different schools), she met a guy, married him, and dropped out of school.
She is now a "stay-at-home mom." I say this in quotes because her mother also lives with them and basically takes care of the grandchild. This friend likes to complain how hard she has it because they have to live on her husband's stipend from grad school and how she thinks clipping coupons and applying to welfare is "humiliating." Apparently, she never envisioned herself being so "poor."
I have heard this story so many times my ears want to bleed. After the 5th iteration, my patience wore out at about 3 minutes into her whining. I'll admit, I not-so-kindly suggested that she get a job if she feels that her current life is beneath her. She proceeds to accuse me of being anti-feminist (did not follow that argument) and for having a holier-than-thou attitude because I happened to get "lucky" and got into medical school. There was also something about hating against religion because she and her husband are Mormon and, evidently, women are not expected to work. She stormed out of the coffee shop and I got to enjoy my latte in peace.
AITA for how I responded? Should I have just sat there and nodded along? I have never been so brusque with a friend before, but her entire woe-is-me mentality was INFURIATING. ###### | NTA. She is an arsehole for complaining ad nauseam about something that she *could* change but isn’t *willing* to change. ###### |
my (18) sister (23) does this thing where she’ll take the rest of the pads when there’s not much left and doesn’t tell anyone. i’m fine with her taking the pads but i just want her to tell me beforehand so that i can ask mom to buy pads. she doesn’t tell me until after i ask her where the pads are. she has done this multiple times before btw. this morning, my period decided to come early and when i asked where the pads were, my sister went into her room (the pads are supposed to stay in the bathroom) and gave me two pads. now that i have money to buy pads, i’m thinking about going to the store tomorrow, buying pads, and hiding them. i know my sister will be mad and my mom will be on her side but it’s honestly annoying that she doesn’t say anything about the lack of pads when she knows she isn’t the only household member who gets a period. ###### | NTA. She is also hiding them... ###### |
So, I (22f) love to sleep. My mom is working from home and spends most of her time in the kitchen. I wouldn’t call myself a night owl per sé, but I would say that no matter how late I stay up, I can end up sleeping until pretty late in the morning. My mom doesn’t like this. She usually doesn’t like when people are asleep while she is awake. This was a quality that partly led her to divorce my dad since he worked night shifts and slept during the day.
When she started getting up at 4:30 every morning, she decided to let go on getting everyone else up since that was an unreasonable time for me and my stepdad for obvious reasons. That being said, if I’m not awake by 9:30 am, she often comes in my room to vacuum, go through my closet to find laundry, start conversations, open my windows (she also doesn’t like knowing that someone’s curtains are closed when it’s daytime), and try to get me out of bed when I’m nowhere near awake. Her claim is if I don’t want her to do that, then I should be going to bed at the same time as her every night (8:30pm) that way I don’t feel tired in the mornings or sleep in.
About ten years ago, locks were installed on all of the doors in the house when my stepbrother stole the household phones and cell phones to get back at us for not sharing our phones when he broke his out of anger. After he moved out, I was told that if my door was locked for any reason other than to get dressed, the door would be taken off it’s hinges. I was 13 at the time and haven’t been told anything different since it was a fire hazard when my moms room was on the opposite side of the house. Renovations have happened since and that is no longer the case.
I want to start locking my door to keep my mom out of my room while I’m asleep, and I’ll get up when I want to get up. But if I do, I’m worried I’ll lose privacy since I’m technically still under her roof.
Reddit, WIBTA if I started locking my door? ###### | NTA. She has unreasonable expectations. You'd think she would have realized that after it contributed to the divorce. I really don't understand why should everyone conform to her weird schedule.
You said she's working from home and spends time in the kitchen. How does someone sleeping and not making noise cause a problem for her? Is she lonely or something?
Lock your door and see what happens. If she tries to retaliate, try having a rational discussion with her. You're 22, not 12. She should respect you instead of trying to control the way you live your life. A different sleep schedule is really not a valid cause for concern here.
I also think it's weird to insist on keeping the curtains open. ###### |
My daughter (20F) started a diet a few weeks ago where she doesn’t eat after 7PM. I’ve read mixed things on this, but nothing dangerous. She is active, eats healthy on the regular. So, she’s not starving herself. So, I didn’t say anything on it.
Then she got into a fight with her dad yesterday. This whole “no one can leave the house” is great for relationships I tell you. She’s refused to talk to him or be in the same room as him for days. She took a nap today and woke up at like 6:30 PM. My husband was in the kitchen cooking. Now, I was not downstairs at the time but I guess he stayed in there for an hour cooking dinner. She could’ve easily gone in there and gotten something to eat for herself and gone back to her room (he was using the stove but the microwave and counter space was still available). My husband has also been cordial and trying to work out their fight. He also says he didn’t stay in the kitchen on purpose, he didn’t know she was refusing to go in there because he was. He was simply making dinner for himself, me and our youngest (my daughter never eats what we do, she always eats her own thing by her own choosing).
Anyway, my daughter comes upstairs around 8, whining that she’s “starving” and that it’s her dad’s fault she can’t eat. And how dare he be in the kitchen. I told her that she was being ridiculous. I said she could’ve gone in there while he was or if she really is that averse to him right now, for one night, she can eat after 7. It’s okay. She won’t fall apart. She said I don’t understand dieting. I said maybe not, but this diet sounds stupid if you can’t break it once so you don’t starve. She then got mad and I said she was being childish. She went to her room and hasn’t come out. She texted her little sister, who showed me and apparently I’m an asshole.
So Reddit, am I an asshole here? ###### | NTA. She has the option to eat at any point but chooses not too. You’re not a bad person for pointing out the obvious if she’s going to complain about the limitations she set on herself. ###### |
I have three three vehicles I drive. Two of them I owned before marriage, and one of them I bought after we married. Two of the vehicles (a jeep and a car) are manuals. The third vehicle is a large truck (Ford Super Duty) that I had lifted.
My wife has never driven any of my vehicles because she can't drive a manual and doesn't really want to learn and feels uncomfortable driving my truck because of its size.
She would like for me to get rid of one in exchange for something she feels comfortable driving even though she has her own car. Her argument is that we need another car she can drive in case something happens to hers. My counter has been that she can drive my cars but she chooses not to either learn how or spend time getting comfortable with them. This isn't a case of not having cars that can be driven. She thinks I am missing the point and being an AH by refusing to get something she doesn't have to learn to drive, but I think she is being a bit difficult to please by refusing to meet me halfway and take me up on my offer to get her comfortable with one of the vehicles.
She also has been very adamant lately that I need a car which is "appropriate" for a baby and has been pushing for me to make this change sooner rather than later, but I think this point isn't relevant right now. We're not close to having kids, so there is no point in making a change when that is likely several years away.
Edit to add: I also think the car or jeep is suitable for a child. I don't even agree with her view that one of them cannot be used for kids.
AITA? ###### | NTA. She has options - She could learn to drive a manual; she could drive the truck (maybe offer to have the lift kit removed if/when she gets pregnant) so it's more accessible; she could buy her own extra car. There is no reason the entire burden of making a change should fall on you other than the fact that she just wants it that way. She wants a change then she needs to be willing to make it herself. ###### |
This happened a while ago, I work at a local pizza place, and it was dinner rush. I manage the phone, counter, and oven because we were understaffed
During rush a lady comes in and orders food, I get everything ready and ask if she wants a bag, she says no. I tell her the usual thank you for coming have a nice night.
I then go to answer the ringing phone to place them on hold so I can service the next person at the counter when she yells out ‘actually can I have a bag?’ Because everyone else is busy getting deliveries or making pizza I grab a bag, open it, and hand it to her over the counter where she’s standing. The store has one of those high glass protection counters, like subway, and she was at the end of it so I just jumped to give it to her when she didn’t move down towards the register.
I again tell her to have a nice night and enjoy her food, when she just stops, stares at me and beings yelling at me telling me I could of come around and placed the food she was holding into the bag, she immediately walked out cursing under her breath, all my coworkers and customers in the store just kind of stopped and looked at her because we were all in shock.
I then go and take the order of the people on hold and the counter when another call comes in, it’s someone requesting to talk to the manager because ‘she received the worse customer service she’s ever had and she will never come back, and she’s been coming here for years and has never come across someone like me with such an attitude, and that I need to be reprimanded by someone’ my manager just gave her a ‘yes, I am sorry and will talk talk to her about it’ I didn’t get reprimanded, everyone just kind of laughed it off, I’m only asking because when I told my mom she said it was rude of me to not walk around and put the ladies food into the bag. ###### | NTA. She has obviously never worked in food service or customer service in general. ###### |
Hey There.
My parents are divorced and my bio-dad died soon after. It all happend when I was around 3 so i never knew him. My mom remarried a year after their divorce so I grew up with him as my father. My bio-father was an onlychild from my grandparents with who I had no coontact with due to my mother not wanting me to do so. They passed away two months ago an I was the only person in their will. They left me their estate (the house they lived in and some multi storage houses in a city nearby) and quiete a large sum of money as well as a letter in which they wrte that they were sorry for not being part of my life but they accepted my mothers wish. That was news to me my mom told me that they didnt want contact with me beacause they had prblems with her and abandoned me beacause of that. I am legally an adult at 19 and still live at home with my parents and my little sister. She is really spoiled and always gets what she wants because she is the family baby. When i told my parents aboout my inheritance and what all i have got and that i am planning to put 50000 in a saving account for my sister they got mad at me for not splitting it evenly. I was shocked and they tld me that i was an selfish and spoiled brat for not sharing. Honestly i dont mind sharing but now I thing I wont. As i told my parents that they threw me out like litually forced me to left the house i grew up in and threw all my stuff out the window. I was shocked. I picked up my clothes put them in my car and drove too my grandparents house where I an sitting now in shock and writing this post hoping someone can give me advise on this situation because i dont know what to do.
Sorry for spelling and grammar english isnt my first language. Thanks for your time. ###### | Nta. She has no claim on that money at all. Besides isn't there an issue with the amount of money you can just gift someone? I'm a bit clueless but I think you have to pay tax on it or something as otherwise it can be seen as tax avoidance. I think you were very generous to consider giving her anything.
Please get some financial advice as it sounds like a lot of money and it is surprisingly easy to lose money if you don't know what you are doing. If you look after it and invest wisely you could be set up for life. It sounds like your mother wasn't completely honest with you about your paternal grandparents. In light of that and their willingness to kick you out so quickly I would not trust your parents. ###### |
This has been on my mind for quite some time now, so I decided to get an outsiders opinion.
Some backstory:
I don’t know how to write this out without sounding arrogant so I’m just gonna be straightforward - my family is a bit wealthier than my best friends. I don’t mean anything drastically, we both live comfortable lives, but my mom can give me and my siblings some extra joys of lifes. This has become a bit of a friction point between me and my friend, she’d throw some remarks here and there but never responded, because I don’t even know what I could say.
Recently, I found out that my grandpa, who I am extremely close to, has cancer. It’s stage two and treatable, but it felt like getting punched in the throat when I heard.
A week ago he started chemotherapy, and I been very concerned, because on the phone he sounds very weak.
So, when I was talking to my friend about it, she said “well, at least if he dies, you’ll get even more money” .
I was speechless... My grandpa is battling cancer and her mind is still on money. I asked her if she could please stop focusing on that for just a minute, to which she responded that I wouldn’t get it, cause I am not poor. ( Again, her family is not poor, her parents have average incomes) She then called me a bitch for being so insensitive and hung up.
I felt like I am not the AH in this, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like one.
AITA? ###### | NTA. She has an inferiority complex and envy clouds her mind. She’s projecting her anger onto you because she feels hapless to change her situation. ###### |
Hi, I am a 14 year old male and have a sister with autism who is 11. I recently brought my PlayStation into the living room because I am remodeling my room so I’m sleeping up stairs in my other sisters room on the floor and brought my PlayStation upstairs My sister asked if she could play the demo of Just Dance and I said just once, she agreed and I let her dance to 2 songs. It was no big deal to me until I brought my PS VR headset to play Carnival games and SUPERHOT. I was playing for around 15 minutes till she asked if she could play. I said no and my dad agreed because he didn’t know how she would react (she gets overwhelmed easily due to anxiety and has a meltdown.) until my mom jumped in and argued with my dad until he said fine. I didn’t want her to due to it being made out of plastic and how flimsily it really is. Also with this list of the past things she has broke
My PS3 disk and cases by ripping up the covers and scratching the disk
My Xbox 360 by grabbing it and dropping it on the floor
A Dell desktop and 2 monitors
Mac computer by downloading viruses
A keyboard
My copy of Super Mario maker for the WII U by snapping it
My old phone
A Samsung tablet
Xbox one disc drive (temporarily broken)
Xbox one disc (about 5)
And a few other things.
With her history of breaking things I didn’t want her to break the VR headset. She has an Xbox one, my 3DS, a new Mac, and my Wii U which I was hoping she would play instead but she can’t settle with any of them.
Luckily she didn’t break it but gave me anxiety because she kept tugging and yanking on it but yeah it survived.
So guys and gals, AITA? ###### | NTA. She has a history of breaking your things, and that’s not fair to you. Plus she has her own consoles and toys that are very comparable that she could have played with. ###### |
My(45M) wife (38F) is just home from the hospital after an acute hypertensive crisis (BP 213/145).
Back story: She was hospitalized 4y ago for the same issue and it was brought under control. We had a child 19m ago and during the pregnancy she consciously discontinued her treatment (medication and apnea machine) due to side effects and inconvenience of treatment. Despite repeatedly asking her to see her Dr (we are in Canada, no cost) and asking her to resume treatment she always laughed and blew me off and did nothing.
Fast forward to Thursday. My wife feels dizzy, I demand she take her BP and it’s 195/140. I insist she goes to the hospital as she could have a stroke or a heart attack. She argues and says she will just take her medication. I point out it’s been over a year and she shouldn't guess doses if she’s that much in distress. She relents and goes to hospital. After a night of treatment it eventually gets brought down to a manageable level and she comes home. This morning she asks if I have any “negative feelings towards her about this” and I state that I am angry and upset that she had the tools to prevent this and willfully ignored them and brought this crisis on herself. And further it’s not fair to the kids (we have 2) that she did this either.
She burst into tears is and refusing to talk to me. AITA for calling her out on her behaviour? ###### | NTA. She has a family and people who depend on her. I understand the treatments can be consuming and she might not want to continue them due to side effects, but that's an issue to bring up to her doctor so they can figure where to progress. Not only is it not safe for her to decide not to take the medicine on her own accord, she has a child she needs to be there for and a family. You're not the asshole for reminding her of these things and saying she needs to take the medicine, she might not like it, but you're right. ###### |
A woman I work with recently lost her children in a car crash. She was given a month off work and she came back last month. I helped her get her work done for the next week and a half. My boss then give us a pretty big assignment for the two of us. Our original plan was we do it 50/50. After I did half of the assignment and went to her to check in. She didn’t do any of it but she was still upset about the death of her kids. I decided to do her part of the assignment.
Her and my boss used to be high school friends so he trusted her so much. She went to my boss and said I didn’t work and she did most of the work. My boss gave me a warning and said I was on thin ice and made me do another two person assignment by my self.
The next week I had a lot of work since I had to do this two person assignment along with my work. She came to work drunk that week. She started verbally abused me and another coworker I work with. That coworker was very shy and probably won’t tell my boss. When I told my boss he didn’t believe me. I went to HR but they said I needed proof. They said this behavior could get her fired or demoted
So, I gathered evidence. I recorded our conversations and it showed verbal abuse and got photos of her drinking. She did the last straw when she said she might get me fired. I was going to go to HR but another coworker stopped. They said I would get a woman who lost children and had multiple medical bills to pay off fired. He said if I do it, I would be a terrible person and a huge asshole. I don’t know what to do.
So Reddit, WIBTA if I go to HR with the evidence? ###### | NTA. she had no reason to tell the boss that you didn’t do yours and hers assignment project when YOU did both parts. she could have just kept quiet and thanked you for pulling her weight. but for some odd reason she wanted to stir the pot and let it overflow. That is why HR exists. ###### |
Throwaway. Names are changed.
I've been best friends with Dan (29M) since we were in high school. He's been married to Cassie (28F) for two years and they recently had their first kid. Dan's dad remarried when we were off at college and Lucifer became his stepmom. Lucifer had a son from a previous relationship.
Recently, with the weather getting nicer, Dan and Cassie hosted a small barbecue with immediate family and friends. I was there, Dan, Cassie, and their kiddo were there, Cassie's parents, Dan's dad and Lucy, and a few other people.
Everyone was gushing over the baby and how good Cassie was looking. She had a rough pregnancy and has been resting up ever since the baby came. She also had a C-section (this is relevant).
Now, Lucy is a shitty person and Dan has never been her biggest fan. The topic of Cassie's C-section came up and Lucy said something nasty about Cassie not being a real woman and a true mother, for not having given birth naturally. It was pretty hurtful and I could see it on Cassie's face that she was upset.
I ended up blurting out that it wasn't surprising that Lucy had said that, considering she was such a huge cunt, when she gave birth her kid probably just slipped out and fell on the floor. Dan laughed, but his dad and Lucifer were pretty upset. They ended up leaving shortly after.
I know there's some controversy over that particular word, I'm wondering if I went too far. AITA? ###### | NTA. She had it coming. Next time though you should coordinate a secreat timeout. This is where when she says something fucked up everyone at the party except Lucifer (and prob her husband) are notified that Lucifer is in timeout. And everyone pretends she doesnt exist until an audible timer goes off then people start making eye contact, responding, talking to her, etc. ###### |
When I like to have a bit of self love I tend to prefer amateur type videos, one day I'm scrolling through different videos and find someone who looks very familiar. I download the video and lo and behold it is a friend of mine, same tattoo and looks exactly like her. The video is pretty old so it must have been when she was with her ex.
I decided to drop her a message with a screenshot from it so she's not bullshitting. My exact message was "Hey, I thought you ought to know but I found a video of you on the internet in case you didn't know it had been uploaded" and then a link to the video.
I wasn't trying to do anything with it, I'd just want to know if it was a video of me. I thought she'd be a tad embarrassed at most but she was extremely angry. "Why are you showing me this?" and "What are you going to do with it?" were her replies. I tried explaining I wasn't going to do anything and that she ought to know. She called me an arsehole, told me to do what I want and then blocked me.
Did I do something wrong here? Some time last year I told her I like her, she didn't feel the same way and I moved on and all I can think is that she thinks I want to use this against her or something. The ex in question and her didn't part ways wells but I don't know why she thinks I'm going to do something. ###### | NTA. She had a knee-jerk reaction there. You were just letting her know she was on the internet. Doesn’t sound like you had any malicious intent there. ###### |
I 16(M) was playing video games with friends, one of the people who plays with us regularly is a my friends girlfriend 16(f). She does not like me and has made it clear in the past. I try to put it aside while we all hang out just so it stays civil. Well last night everybody was talking about relationship problems. The two people dating in the group gave advice. Mine was struggling to even find a person who I had a chance with. As soon as the words left my mouth, she snickered and brought up how I'm short and that's why. At first I thought she was joking and shrugged it off but after she kept drilling it in. Finally I had enough and brought up how she didn't have a boyfriend until a year ago because she refused to lose weight. After that everyone went quiet. Soon everyone started laying into me and she started crying. I tried to apologize because I didn't mean to hurt her that bad, but I got drowned out under every one yelling at me. I know I probably am the asshole but I just wanted to hear someone outside the situations opinion. ###### | NTA. She got what’s coming to her. The fact she kept drilling the idea that you’re short is a huge asshole move on her part. You insulting her was a clap back. Did she just expect you to sit back and take it? She sucks. ###### |
Me and my boyfriend recently (6 months ago) moved in to our first property together, in which we have a spare bedroom that we agreed to rent out to a friend of mine who has never left home, let's call her M. For some context I have been friends with M for almost 20 years, always pretty tight and open with each other.
6 months down the line her boyfriend has asked her to move in with her, not great timing as my father has just been in a car accident which nearly took his life and I was also up for redundancy, but if this is what will make her happy then I'm fine with it. Took a couple of weeks for them to find a place and we found someone to take her room who we trust. Now all we needed to do was organise the moving date.
Now I repeatedly ask M to provide me her moving date and she first said September, then end of August and finally the beginning of August. I needed a solid date to provide my new tenant for their move, so I had a verbal agreement with M that if I wasnt provided a date by july 14th, that her moving date would be set to august the 1st. This mean i can give my new tenant a set date as they desperately need one.
Now M decides to go to france for a 2 week holiday and does not provide me with a moving date so it's set to august 1st. 3 days ago she informs me through Facebook messenger (whilst upstairs in the same house) she wont be able to move until august 8th. I tell her this isnt really acceptable, we had an agreement and the date must stay as august 1st due to commitments I have made with other people.
After calling me unfair and saying she did everything she could have done in the situation, which I feel isnt true, she has not spoken to me since. She immediately started to pack her things and move out, including taking an mattress that belongs to my mum without asking and called me pathetic when I asked for its return. AITM for expecting her to move out a week early? ###### | NTA. She failed to communicate properly and expected you to simply put up with her lack of organisation and childishness. Then she basically stole from you. Not someone you require in your life. ###### |
Recently, a long term relationship I had was ended. My ex was the one who broke up with me, and it was done through text. My ex has really bad anxiety, and although it definitely hurt my feelings, I am okay with the fact she had ended things through text. She and I share an apartment, but luckily my friend is alright with me staying with him in his room (as opposed to in the living room) until she's done figuring out when it's safe to move back in with her parents. Honestly, we kind of just avoid each other. I spend most of my time in my friend's room when I'm not working.
A few hours after she broke up with me, I was feeling petty and went through my social media deleting old couple posts and photos. I also went through my gallery and deleted any photos of her and us together.
Later, one of her friends called and apparently my ex was crying and having a bad anxiety attack over the changes on my social media. My friend ended up calming her down, and I felt too ashamed to help her myself. (Which is honestly bad on my part because I really do want to stay friends with her.)
Am I the Asshole for being so public about the breakup? Would it have been better If I just posted about the breakup clearly instead of deleting everything without context? ###### | NTA. She doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. You removed her from your social media posts. What you do is no longer any of her business. ###### |
My girlfriend (28F) and I (30F) live together for over a year now. She is currently packing for a week-long camping trip with her dad and brothers and was charging up both of my external battery packs. I told her I didn’t want her taking both. She can take the older smaller one but the big one is expensive and she has a history of not taking care of my stuff (and taking my stuff without asking). I said I don’t want the charger to go camping and she threw a fit saying it’s not fair because of I’m not using it then she should be able to take it. I said if she wants one then she should get her own, that I’m being nice by even letting her take one.
She says since we live together we share everything and she should be allowed to take whatever she wants. Now she’s throwing a huge fit.
It feels like maybe I’m being mean now and I should just let her take it. But I’m annoyed that I’m expected to just let her have my things for use whenever she wants.
AITA? ###### | NTA. She doesn't seem to understand boundaries at all. Just because you're living together that doesn't mean that everything you own is hers too. I doubt she'd be okay with the opposite, if you took her stuff and told her well cause we're living together it's mine too. ###### |
So I know it sounds bad but hear me out. I found a used sofa listed online, and I asked the owner if I could come by and check it out. She agreed; she was keeping it in her garage. When I arrived I asked if it was okay if I felt it and generally "checked it out", and she said fine. I looked to see if if the cushions were detachable, looked for stains, that sort of thing. Then I sat on it, and the whole thing collapsed. It seems one of the legs was loose or already broken. (If it matters, I'm 130lbs.)
I said I was sorry, I felt bad about it and embarrassed. She said I would have to buy it now. I was taken aback and replied that all I had done was sit on the couch - if it collapsed obviously there was something wrong with it before I arrived. She said there was nothing wrong with it before I sat down and that she "didn't give me permission to sit on it" and now she couldn't sell to anyone else so I would have to take it.
I said no and left. But now I can't stop thinking about it. In my mind, when she said it was fine if I inspected the couch, this would obviously mean that I could sit in it. Isn't that one of the first things anybody does when checking out a couch?
So what do you think, reddit? AITA? ###### | NTA. She didn’t want you to *sit*. On a *sofa*...? Yup, she was running a scam. ###### |
Me (f25) and my partner (m28) have 2 kids already, DD 2.5yr and DS 11 months.
I was due to get the coil fitted before the pandemic but this was delayed and we were using condoms.
About 6 weeks ago I suddenly started feeling dozzy and nauseous out of nowhere which is exactly how i felt with DS so i took a pregnancy test and it was positive. We immediately knew we didnt want another child at the time or probably ever so i rang my doctors to book in for a consult for an abortion, in breastfeeding so not having periods and didnt know how far along I was. We had the consult and found i was 8 weeks pregnant and was booked in for the following day.
However that night I had horrible cramps and started bleeding heavily, we went back to the hospital and it was confirmed I had miscarried. I was honestly relieved as obviously I wasnt planning on taking the pregnancy to term anyway and i was freaking out over the idea of having an abortion as medical procedures make me extremely nervous and id heard alot of horror stories gone wrong.
Fast forward and I visited my SIL last week(socially distanced of course) and she asked if me and SO were planning on more kids. I said absolutely not and explained what happened and that I was relieved that the pregnancy terminated.
Well it turns out that SIL had been trying for a baby for the last year and hasnt been successful so far and said im an awful person for being relieved and that other women would kill to be able to get pregnant as quickly as i can.
Context, both my babies were conceived on contraception.
I said im really sorry i upset her and that i had no idea she was even trying and had i known i obviously wouldnt have discussed this with her.
I thought that was the end of it but all of a sudden all of SO's family are messaging me saying im cruel for rubbing my pregnancies in SILs face and that its disgusting that im relieved over a miscarriage when she wants a baby so bad.
So AITA? ###### | NTA. She didn't tell you before hand and had no way of knowing. She asked the question, and then got pissed that you h=answered honestly? You can be relieve over whatever you want, and the miscarriage doesnt affect her ability of trying for a baby.
She looking for a reason to be pissed about it. ###### |
A few years ago when my daughter was 13 she begged and begged me for a dog till I was so fed up that I gave in. It was a huge mistake but at the time I didn't think it would be since my daughter promised that since it was her dog that she would take care of it and I would just buy it what it needed.
I finally got her a puppy from a neighbour who's dog had just given birth and my daughter was really excited and we both loved the dog.
My daughter was great at first with the dog, took him 3 walks a day if she could and feed him, she did everything right. After a while though she's been doing hardly anything. I understand she has school and a life of her own but I have work and I'm not at home a lot. I can't tell you how many times I've come home to my daughter just watching TV while the dog hasn't been fed or walked all day, and I come home at 9pm. I have enough time in the morning to feed the dog before I leave and maybe a quick walk. But I'm so sick of hearing myself telling her to do the rest. People have also told me they have spotted her not picking up after the dog when she finally does walk him.
I loved the dog so so much, please don't think I didn't. He was part of the family but there was really nothing I could do. Countless times I have told my daughter that if she doesn't look after him then he'll need a new home, she'll care for him a few days after that but then falls back into doing nothing again. I feel sorry for the dog and I just want him to be happy so I gave him to a friend who I know would take amazing care of the dog, plus she has 2 other dogs to keep him company. She says we can visit him anytime we like so it's not like my daughter will never see him.
My daughter isn't speaking to me and I am thinking maybe I've screwed up. It's hard as well because my daughter thinks I didn't care about the dog if I could just give it away like that but it was seriously a really hard decision and one I wish could've been avoided. ###### | NTA. She didn't hold up her end of the bargain and you warned her multiple times. Ultimately it sounds like you did the right thing for the dog in giving it to someone who would take care of it properly. ###### |
My sister asked me to babysit her kids (2,4,4,7). I agreed but I told her that she’s going to need to give me food to feed them because I’m fasting and I don’t have anything but oatmeal ramen, and protein in my house. My sister said buy whatever and she’ll pay me back. I asked the kids and they wanted McDonald’s. I bought them McDonald’s. I knew my sister didn’t eat McDonald’s but I didn’t know it extended to her kids. She freaked out and tried to make her kids throw up the food. She yelled at me and isnt paying me back. I’m a poor college student and that $18 is my grocery bill for a week. AITA? ###### | NTA. She did not specify not to feed them McDonald's, and that's what they asked for. She needs to pay you back. Involve your parents if you have to. ###### |
So me (M27) and my family live in a townhouse of mostly white neighborhood (important later). The townhouses are sharing a strip of "frontyard" that we must maintain and we try our best to keep up, we planted flowers, we mow our lawn, etc. However, our neighbor that we share the said strip is always commenting and always telling us that we are not doing it properly, that we are ruining the front yard, and there are times where we caught them doing our lawn. And then one time, our neighbor knocked on our door and told us that we have to pay them for the lawn maintenance and we refused because we did not ask for it and it is not like we are not maintaining it. It's just that we are not doing it the way they like it. Also, we heard them referring to us as the "Asians" and call our other neighbors "neighbor". They called the firefighters one time because we are having a bon fire in our backyard, and firefighters said that we are following everything. They had a problem with us sun-drying our clothes even though we don't have any clothes line attached to our nor their fence. The last straw for me was when she talked to me as they were bothered by the fact that I have to leave every 10 pm to go work (I'm a nurse). My car is a Honda Civic with no modifications at all so it's not loud, and I don't play loud music at all. I started going off on her as my parents are too nice and have told her to mind her own business, stop being an asshole and we are done being a pushover She was shocked and in disbelief, she smelt like alcohol so I did not bother going further but she has not bothered us for weeks. My siblings are saying that IATA because she is an old lady (possibly on her early 50s) and she was clearly drunk. However, my parents are glad that someone had said something.
Did I overreact? AITA? ###### | NTA. She deserved it. She may be old but that doesn’t mean she’s right. Alcohol involved or not she seems like a closeted racist who’s using subtle tactics to put you down ###### |
This happened before the whole corona virus ordeal, but my friend, we will call her L, is still upset about this. AITA in this situation?
Awhile ago at a social gathering L and I were discussing her upcoming birthday plans. I offered to host L’s birthday party if she didn’t have other plans, L quickly shut that down insisting she had other plans to go to a cabin.
Also mentioning that she would be inviting other mutual friends of ours to this cabin and I would not be invited to this cabin with them. I’m not offended that I was not invited to the cabin, it’s her birthday and if she didn’t want me there it’s up to her.
And now this is where it gets complicated.
1 week later:
L: what are we doing for my birthday?
(In my mind I was confused, because
1. L told me she was going to a cabin
2. I already made plans to attend a house warming party for a very close friend of mine)
Me: I am attending a house warming party, and I thought you were going to the cabin?
L: We not going to the cabin until the day after my birthday, do you think we could still do something by you for it?
Me: No, I’m sorry but I made plans, if you want to do something during the day I can, but I’m busy at night.
L: you’re ruining my birthday
After she said that I stopped responding to her.
And to clarify, she is still attending the cabin for her birthday, and I’m still not invited for the birthday weekend at the cabin. But I am expected to host and attend her birthday party on the real day?
Also I offered to do something during the day for her birthday, but that still wasn’t good enough!
I ended up doing nothing with her and attended a very nice house warming party, and she looked like she had a blast at the cabin for her birthday weekend, but she still very upset at me?
AITA and should I apologize for not being there for her birthday? ###### | NTA. She decided after you originally asked that it would be great to have a bday party and go to a cabin. She doesn't even invite you to the cabin, but now expects you to throw her a party? Especially since she already turned you down?
She is not a friend, she is an entitled B. ###### |
Title pretty much says it all. My friend was checking on my cats while I was on vacation (this was last year). Basically I was supposed to pay her $20/day for the week.
Then (while I was on vacation), apparently she somehow ran over the light post in my yard. It broke in half and she tore out some of the underground electrical, along with one of my most beloved plants. Thankfully I was able to save my plant. I know that sounds dumb but it took me forever to actually get this thing to thrive.
My friend offered to pay for it, so I had some electricians come out and look at it and they all recommended I use my home owners deductible to get it fixed, which is $500. I believe the cheapest contractor was $800. After she heard the estimate, she spazzed and said she couldn’t pay that. So I said I would keep the money I owed her for cat-sitting and pay the rest of the deductible. She got upset and said that wasn’t our agreement, but I don’t really want to pay her after needing to pay this deductible for something that was blatantly her fault.
AITA here? ###### | NTA. She damaged your property, she needs to make up for it. You’re being generous in paying the difference. It was her mistake and she needs to own up to it ###### |
I love in a house that's literally surrounded by woods. There's a lot of wild animals that prowl around, and so I've been very careful when it comes to my pets. My sister has been staying with me because she doesn't have enough money to pay for her own apartment. She's a generally unpleasant person and she doesn't like my pets but a few days ago my friend had an accident and wanted me to stay the night with him so I fed my pets, took my dogs out for a walk, and asked my sister to watch them while I was gone. She agreed and I left.
When I came back, I found out that my sister had left the animals (two dogs and two cats) outside, something that I specifically asked her not to do because they are not outdoor animals and because of the wild animals that live around me. Thankfully, they hadn't wandered away and were unharmed so that was good, but I immediately went and demanded to know why my sister had gone against what I specifically asked her not to do.
She said that they were annoying and gross, and that they wouldn't stop bugging her. Just to be clear, the dogs are trained to go and lay in their beds if somebody tells them to 'stop', and the cats don't even like my sister, so they never bother her. We got into a huge fight because a whole ton of things could've happened to my pets and she didn't even care, and I eventually just told her to go and stay with her boyfriend. She got all teary and said that I was her only brother and I was supposed to care about her, and I replied that I did care about her but that we never got along, and said that I was too angry for her to stay with me, and she packed up and left.
I don't regret the general argument, but was I too harsh for kicking her out? ###### | NTA. She could have killed your pets and then she has the audacity to guilt trip you? Dealing with the pets was part of living with you. They were there before she was. If she couldn't handle it, she couldn't stay. ###### |
I recently re-connected with a friend from high school when her husband was accepted into a masters program at the same university where I am attending grad school. We were both really excited when we found out we would be living in the same city.
However. She is vastly different from the person I used to know. She was SOOO ambitious in high school and both of us had dreams of attending medical school and maybe even going into private practice together. (I know, I know, we were young and naive when we made these plans and people change). Sometime in college (we went to different schools), she met a guy, married him, and dropped out of school.
She is now a "stay-at-home mom." I say this in quotes because her mother also lives with them and basically takes care of the grandchild. This friend likes to complain how hard she has it because they have to live on her husband's stipend from grad school and how she thinks clipping coupons and applying to welfare is "humiliating." Apparently, she never envisioned herself being so "poor."
I have heard this story so many times my ears want to bleed. After the 5th iteration, my patience wore out at about 3 minutes into her whining. I'll admit, I not-so-kindly suggested that she get a job if she feels that her current life is beneath her. She proceeds to accuse me of being anti-feminist (did not follow that argument) and for having a holier-than-thou attitude because I happened to get "lucky" and got into medical school. There was also something about hating against religion because she and her husband are Mormon and, evidently, women are not expected to work. She stormed out of the coffee shop and I got to enjoy my latte in peace.
AITA for how I responded? Should I have just sat there and nodded along? I have never been so brusque with a friend before, but her entire woe-is-me mentality was INFURIATING. ###### | NTA. She complained, you offered a valid solution, she chose to ignore it and keep whining. ###### |
My (22m) dad (49m) just got home with his girlfriend. As soon as they walk in all I hear is him yelling and calling her some fucked up names. Then they start arguing out in the front yard. Fyi my dad was 100% the aggressor and his girlfriend was just crying and trying to talk to him while he was screaming at her.
He came inside and locked the door leaving her outside. I heard her saying she needs her keys. (She doesn't live with us). My dad told her she wasn't getting them. This is when I decide to step in.
I confronted my dad and we got into a heated argument. He said I'm a bastard for getting into his business and a traitor for taking her side. I told him that I watched him treat my mom like shit for their entire marriage and I wasn't about to watch him verbally abuse another woman. That really pissed him off. He bowed up to me then told me I "wasn't worth it" then went into his bedroom.
I saw his girlfriend's purse on the table and walked out front and gave it to her and she left. My dad found out I helped her and told me to get out of his house because I took her side. Really though I just wanted her to be able to leave. I took nobody's side.
Am I the asshole for helping her because now I feel like I betrayed him. ###### | NTA. She clearly needed help and you gave it to her. You did the right thing. ###### |
Every day at the same time, I walk my dog around the block. Whenever we encounter other people, with or without dogs, we move to the boulevard and let the other people and their dog(s) stay on the sidewalk. Today, I came across a lady walking 3 golden retrievers. I did what I always do, and moved myself, my dog, and my kids to the boulevard to pass by. Well, her dogs started coming towards us, and she couldn’t stop them. The dogs got nose to nose with mine. Thankfully, no fights happened, but I told her that if she can’t hold on to all 3 dogs, then she shouldn’t be walking all 3 dogs. She questioned my knowledge of dogs and then told me that I should have crossed the street and walked on the other side when I saw her. I don’t believe I did anything wrong as I had full control of my dog (I even jumped back into the street to try to keep the dogs apart) and I don’t feel I should have to move to the other side of the street. AITA? Is it my responsibility to move to the other side because she couldn’t hold all her dogs? ###### | NTA. She clearly just got defensive when you pointed out the obvious - that she was not in control. ###### |
My daughter (20F) started a diet a few weeks ago where she doesn’t eat after 7PM. I’ve read mixed things on this, but nothing dangerous. She is active, eats healthy on the regular. So, she’s not starving herself. So, I didn’t say anything on it.
Then she got into a fight with her dad yesterday. This whole “no one can leave the house” is great for relationships I tell you. She’s refused to talk to him or be in the same room as him for days. She took a nap today and woke up at like 6:30 PM. My husband was in the kitchen cooking. Now, I was not downstairs at the time but I guess he stayed in there for an hour cooking dinner. She could’ve easily gone in there and gotten something to eat for herself and gone back to her room (he was using the stove but the microwave and counter space was still available). My husband has also been cordial and trying to work out their fight. He also says he didn’t stay in the kitchen on purpose, he didn’t know she was refusing to go in there because he was. He was simply making dinner for himself, me and our youngest (my daughter never eats what we do, she always eats her own thing by her own choosing).
Anyway, my daughter comes upstairs around 8, whining that she’s “starving” and that it’s her dad’s fault she can’t eat. And how dare he be in the kitchen. I told her that she was being ridiculous. I said she could’ve gone in there while he was or if she really is that averse to him right now, for one night, she can eat after 7. It’s okay. She won’t fall apart. She said I don’t understand dieting. I said maybe not, but this diet sounds stupid if you can’t break it once so you don’t starve. She then got mad and I said she was being childish. She went to her room and hasn’t come out. She texted her little sister, who showed me and apparently I’m an asshole.
So Reddit, am I an asshole here? ###### | NTA. She chose the diet, she had the fight, she refused to go into the kitchen, she waited until after the 7pm limit to tell anyone, and she's the one who's upset. She has two options now, eat after 7pm or wait until morning. What does she want you to do? Berate your husband for being in the kitchen cooking for the rest of his family around dinner time?
Tell her that next time, if her diet is so important to her not to wait until after the time limit to tell someone that there's a problem. Say you're sorry she's hungry and ask if there's anything you can do to help *now*. ###### |
I wanna keep this a little vague for privacy.
My gf recently expressed interest in learning a new instrument, she said it was something she'd always wanted to do. I play a few instruments myself so I thought it would be a great gift for her since I could help her learn and we could play together, and I know she's been bored stuck at home.
So I surprised her with it on Friday and she loved it, posting pictures everywhere and saying she couldn't wait for her friend to come over and help her set it up and that he would be giving her lessons.
I'll admit I was a little offended she didn't ask me but whatever, her friend has been playing for a long time as well so I get it.
Yesterday, on Monday, I found out that she had been sleeping with her friend. She told me she was going to start dating him and that she was sorry but we were done, it came out of nowhere at first but she had been acting distant lately.
I stopped by today to get some of my stuff and I told her I was taking the instrument I bought her. The thought of her taking that gift, and bonding over it with the guy she was cheating with just ruined me. She called me an asshole and said she didn't know how to explain to everyone where her new instrument went because she lied and told everyone (including her new bf) that she bought it with her own money.
I feel like kind of a dick for taking it back, but I spent a lot on it and she only had it for 3 days.
Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. She cheated on you and you don’t owe her anything, including an instrument and her dignity ###### |
For my birthday I wanted to have dinner just with the two of us, no other family members were invited.
So on the night he picks me up and on our way to dinner we get a call from her. She has been out drinking with a friend and wants a ride. She could have asked her friend for a ride home or easily gotten a taxi as it wouldn't have cost much. She then over speaker phone starts saying I was the one who told you to call her (me) and make plans. My dad goes yeah but I was planning on ringing her anyway. She then starts saying about her kids (all of which are adults) that they wouldn't do that to him. Which is false because her kids did that many times when they started dating because they didn't like my dad.
So we arrive to pick her up and I am sitting in the front seat. She opens up the door and tells me to sit in the back. Nothing else was said like happy birthday or even hello. I didn't want to start an argument so I just moved to the backseat.
She then complains about how she told her friend she was out with that she was doing dinner with us and of course she couldn't then ask for a ride home.
This was untrue as he had let her know that it would just be the two of us. Then she turns to me and is all like so what's so wrong with me coming out to dinner with you guys. I repeat that I just want to spend time with my dad as we don't get to see each other very often. She then repeats about her kids and that it is super hurtful that we wouldn't invite her.
On the rest of the drive to drop her off she continues to try guilt us into letting her come with us. Luckily my dad refuses and says that she is not coming.
For context they have been together 3 years and it is a very rocky relationship. Neither myself or my brother (both adults) get on that great with her. She tolerates me but will not even talk about my brother and hates it when my dad talks about him. ###### | NTA. She can’t treat you like an inferior and then expect you to be over the moon about her joining in on your birthday celebration. There’s probably a reason her kids don’t want to celebrate with her. Good on your Dad for refusing, I hope you enjoyed your celebration with him regardless of her attitude. ###### |
i like to play guitar a lot. lately, ive been playing it more than usual because ive had time off. im not sure why, but my girlfriend isnt the biggest fan of me playing. maybe she just things im bad at it lol but usually when im playing, she’s upstairs anyway. i know its not because she wants me to spend time with her instead because every time i try to spend time with her shes on her phone. anyway, today i came home from publix and as soon as i came in, i saw she had thrown it down the stairs. there were no major damages (two of the strings popped, and the body has a hole in the bottom) and i know its just a stupid instrument but i feel like she shouldnt be throwing my stuff around so i told her to go home and i havent been talking to her. ###### | NTA. she can’t respect your personal property, which is a big red flag. ###### |
Today, I was biking on a relatively popular trail. It's usually shared between bikers and walkers. I have a relatively old bike (made in 2013) and the gear changing click is quite loud. At one point, the was a pretty steep hill I had to ride up. I downshifted to make it easier to climb, and almost immediately, a woman in her mid-thirties with a baby stroller suddenly yelled "HEY!" at me. Thinking it was for somebody else, I kept riding; she kept yelling, so I stopped. She began berating me for waking up her toddler (who was in the baby stroller) and I can't just go around making noise and disturbing people. Confused, I asked what she meant; she said "your bike is really loud, you should've passed me further away and not woken [toddler] up, etc." Even though I'm pretty sure it was her yelling that woke up the toddler, I apologized and kept riding. AITA?
Tl;dr Woman thinks I woke up her toddler in a baby stroller by changing gears with a loud gear changer. ###### | NTA. She can't expect silence in a public park.
That said, you're keeping a safe 6 feet away due to corona, right? ###### |
I live with my grandmother. Rent is $900 and we each pay half. Recently this person decided to bring in their grown 50 year old drug addict son because “he has nowhere to go”. He does have somewhere to go. He has a house he was living in but his wife recently died and she took it upon herself to allow him to live with us. I had absolutely no say in the matter despite being extremely uncomfortable about the entire situation. This man has multiple drug charges and has threatened to kill people. He has never worked a day in his life.
At first she said it would only be a couple of days. It’s been nearly a month and he’s still here. Rent free. Hasn’t lifted a finger and he’s eating our groceries. He’s also gotten high in our home on heroin twice. I used to help out substantially with the groceries also but have since stopped and only buy the groceries for myself.
This month I only have her $300 in rent money. She asked for the rest because she’s low on money and can’t pay her car insurance. She’s low on money because she’s been treating her addict son like a king, buying all this food, cooking three times a day and withdrawing cash for him from her checking account.
I said that since we have a third person living in the house who I had no control or say over, it is unfair for me to continue paying half the rent and that he can get a job and pay the remainder. ###### | NTA. She can enable him all she wants, and she’s probably going to. But you’re not required to do so. She needs to enable him on her own dime.
ETA: but you do still owe the agreed-upon rent. You also have the ability to demand that he not impact your life, groceries, etc. She’ll likely agree, but won’t be able or willing to make it happen. Basically you’re gonna have to move out. ###### |
My mother remarried a few years ago which meant a new step sister who is 2 months older than I so when my family moved schools I ended up at hers and she became once of my main bullies. One reason was for being ‘out’ as Bisexual. Last week she rang our family (we’ve both lived out of home for 2 years now) and we so excited to tell us she was dating the girl of her dreams.
I didn’t say anything at the time about it but I’ve since gone full no contact with her over it, my mother is on the fence about the issue and my step father says he doesn’t care if we talk or not as we never really got along
So AITA for cutting off contact. ###### | NTA. She bullied you, for god's sake. You should have cut contact then and there.
Also, it seems that she probably, maybe bullied you to hide her own sexuality which makes her a coward. 🤷 ###### |
Recently, a long term relationship I had was ended. My ex was the one who broke up with me, and it was done through text. My ex has really bad anxiety, and although it definitely hurt my feelings, I am okay with the fact she had ended things through text. She and I share an apartment, but luckily my friend is alright with me staying with him in his room (as opposed to in the living room) until she's done figuring out when it's safe to move back in with her parents. Honestly, we kind of just avoid each other. I spend most of my time in my friend's room when I'm not working.
A few hours after she broke up with me, I was feeling petty and went through my social media deleting old couple posts and photos. I also went through my gallery and deleted any photos of her and us together.
Later, one of her friends called and apparently my ex was crying and having a bad anxiety attack over the changes on my social media. My friend ended up calming her down, and I felt too ashamed to help her myself. (Which is honestly bad on my part because I really do want to stay friends with her.)
Am I the Asshole for being so public about the breakup? Would it have been better If I just posted about the breakup clearly instead of deleting everything without context? ###### | NTA. She broke up. You are hurt too and have the right to delete whatever picture you wish from your personal account. ###### |
My BF [34M] and I [27M] have been together for nearly 5 years. We have 2 kids together from his previous marriage. Throughout the years, I could see that his mother is toxic for us and our 2 kids. His mother would always guilt trip him into supporting her lavish lifestyle. From paying for her incredibly expensive therapy to even buying her designer bags and shoes, he did it all. When he refuse or reluctant, she would always bring up her difficult divorce and how she could go back to using and drinking.
Our youngest son recently got diagnosed with High Functioning ASD ( suspected Asperger's). We have been making financial plans on how to accommodate his development (therapy, education etc.)
My BF's mother however decided to sign herself up to one of those "therapy" vacation trip to Europe and expected her son to pay for it. When I explained that we could not afford to pay for it, she went off on how her mental health needed the money more. Our kids didn't need all those therapy until later in their life she said.
That was when I told her to get the f out of our house. I've told him that I don't think it's fair for him to support her financially while expecting me to cover majority of our household expenses. I've been doing that for 2years. I told my BF to distance ourselves from her or I will walk away with our kids since he clearly didn't care about them that much. AITA?
TL;DR: My BF's mother is financial dependent and emotionally manipulative. I've told him to distance ourselves from her or I will walk away with our kids. ###### | NTA. She basically threatens to self-harm if he doesn’t cave and that is HOT GARBAGE. Just be careful on legalities. ###### |
I have a daughter who will be 27 in two months, and lately she has been constantly lamenting the fact that she is so "old" and has not found "the one." I know that this is likely a result of so many of her friends having gotten married within the last two or so years, including her younger sister who married her longtime boyfriend last fall. I am sure it also does not help that she has served in the wedding party in many of their weddings.
My daughter has had her share of relationships with really nice guys, in my view, so it's not like she hasn't had her chances. It's just she's never had a relationship last more than about nine months. She might have had one longer than that but certainly never over a year.
Recently when I was talking to her she asked me if there was something wrong with her. I've gotten similar questions in the past, but this time I decided to try a different approach. I told her I had noticed how she treated some of her boyfriends and couldn't blame them for deciding to call it quits. She is really great with her friends and family and not self-centered, but the opposite is true with her boyfriends. She is very demanding and extremely high maintenance, and I think she can be petty. She demands so much of their time and attention that there is nothing left for them, which is why most guys try to avoid girls like her. No matter how pretty or smart she may be it just isn't worth all the headaches.
I feel like this was all something she needs to hear. Most of the guys she is interested in aren't going to put up with this type of behavior (and especially not guys in their late 20s and 30s), so if she wants those guys then she needs to rethink some things and learn not to be so demanding and bossy.
Both my wife and my daughter think I am TA for saying this, but I don't think telling the truth and giving an honest opinion makes someone TA. AITA? ###### | NTA. She asked a question, you gave an honest answer. May not have been what she *wanted* to hear, but it sounds like it's what she needed. ###### |
I was attempting to serve legal documents upon someone who we'll call Jane Doe, who had reportedly been evading process servers for some time.
I went to their address and a female roommate confirmed that the address was correct, but the person I was looking for was at work.
I returned the next day and was told by a male resident that the person I was looking for no longer lived there. I obviously assumed this was a lie, but left temporarily and obtained details of Jane Doe's registered vehicles to be sure.
When I returned again, I confirmed that her vehicles were at the house, but nobody answered the door. I returned for the final time a couple hours later and found both the male and female roommates that I had already talked to outside on the driveway. The female roommate changed her story and the male roommate insisted the person didn't live there anymore. I pointed out their contradicting stories and the fact that Jane Doe's vehicles were there. Finally the male roommate (we'll call him John Doe) tried to snatch the documents from me and I lost my temper a bit.
After a quick verbal argument (I basically told them I was tired of their bullshit and not to try to touch me or the documents again), John Doe admitted to formerly being Jane Doe. He had transitioned and now goes by John Doe. I was still pissed off but gave the documents over, told them I would notify the client of the name change, and left.
I later received an email complaint (they didn't realize it would go directly to me) essentially saying I was a bigot and insensitive and how wrong it was to force someone to reveal their deadname.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Serving legal documents is a completely reasonable exception to the idea you shouldn't force people to reveal their deadname. ###### |
My partner and I have a two year old and we are expecting in the fall. He would like to go to a sporting event that is out of state and would be gone for at least 3 days. The sporting event is 2 weeks after my due date. I told him that I really feel like I need help at home because I will be newly postpartum with a newborn and a toddler running around. He keeps saying he will just take the toddler (I would never let this happen as this seems to be more of a boys trip, not kid friendly). He does not seem to be openly mad that I keep saying no but he keeps bringing it up and I’m wondering if he is thinking I will change my mind if he keeps breaking me down about it? It started out as a joking matter but now I’m thinking he actually thinks he wants to go and he is making me feel bad for putting my foot down. All of his friends are still bachelors so I hate to having to hold him back because I know things like this are really important to his well-being. AITA for not letting him go? ###### | NTA. Seriously, what is that guy even thinking? Your concerns are valid, and also, leaving town for a fun thing and leaving your wife alone with a newborn is the stuff that gets mentioned in couples therapy and divorce proceedings years after the fact.
It may be worth asking him to cut it out. I don't know. You are definitely not the asshole. ###### |
I gave birth January 4th 2018 to the cutest (may be a little biased there) little girl.
My relationship with her father was low contact when we broke up (he wasnt ready to be a father...despite having a second child born in May 2018?)
He would visit every weekend, he didnt want custody and probably wouldn't get anything other than supervised anyway due to his history.
His partner started posting pictures that I sent to him with captions as though it was her baby which was strike 1, I asked him to stop it which led to this huge fight which I wont go into detail about.
Then come to August 2018 he just disappears from her life.
Last week he contacted me out of the blue asking for some pictures of our daughter.
I haven't sent him anything and haven't responded.
But the group I'm in say I'm an AH and should just send at least one picture, be the bigger person.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Send him nothing. The sister of the father of my child asked for photos, I sent one on the condition it was not shared with their mother (my child's biological grandmother). Biological grandmother posted the picture online within an hour of me sending it to the sister along with a caption about how I was keeping her grandchild from her and sent her internet friends to harass me. I came off facebook after that. The father of your child has done nothing, just dropped out of her life for around 18 months without a word, and the only times you gave him photos you were slandered online over them. He does not get photos. Depending on your custody agreement, he could consider himself lucky if you let him see his child ever again. ###### |
Dow to quarantine my sister-in-law sends her 9yo son to stay with me and my husband. Its was the best solution because she and her husband are both doctors.
My husband is a photographer and I am an editor and colourist. Because I worked from home in the quarantine I relocated my computer in a little room, which I and my husband didn't use. I have a very expensive computer and I didn't want my nephew even look at it. My husband told me that he was mischievous. I was met with the child only once, at our wedding, and he was pretty restless.
I have left the house for groceries with my husband. The kid was home alone just for a quarter-hour. He had open the room, that I have "hidden" my computer and somehow he had broken the hardware for the colour correction, one of three monitors and the mouse. All that cost around 2500$.
When I told my sister-in-law to cover at least the half cost, she responded that she wasn't her fault, that her son "is just a kid" and she doesn't have to pay me back because "I am a entitle person, who didn't have a real job and I want to steal her money from her duty." ###### | NTA. Send him back to his parents. Having him stay with you obviously isn't working out. He's 9. He's old enough to know when he shouldn't touch something. He disrespected your home and the consequence is that he doesn't get to be there anymore. ###### |
Throwaway because my family members use reddit.
I (13F) finally got my own room after years of having to share it with my sister (10F). From the age of 5 to 11, I had to share a room with her, and it was awful. She would take my stuff and throw it on the ground, this caused my mother to think I was creating the messes. This would cause me to be yelled at and forced to stay in my room all day cleaning it up. When I was 12, we moved, where I had to share a smaller room with her.
Not even a week moving in, my sister created a huge mess. At that point, I said "screw it" and started sleeping on the couch, as I did not want to deal with her. Eventually, after I turned 13, we moved again, this time, it was just my mother and I who moved. My two older siblings went to live with their father, and my little sister went to live with her father. I finally have my own room, I keep it clean and tidy.
Because of the virus, my sister has been living with us because her father doesn't have a computer to do schoolwork. She is still as messy as ever, and I told her she cannot go into my room unless I say she can. This is mostly because I don't want her to make a mess that I have to clean up. Her messes are awful too, one time we found ants in our room because she left food out. Even still, when she comes into my room, she leaves her trash everywhere.
My mother thinks that I'm being unfair to my sister. I've tried explaining it to her, but she doesn't listen to me at all. So reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. Seems perfectly reasonable, especially given her past history of trashing places. ###### |
Yesterday I spent 9 hours cleaning and organizing the kids (7f and 3m) bedrooms. I organized the toys, washed the walls, shampooed the carpets etc.
I absolutely had to go to the store today because we didnt have anything left to eat. I was gone for around 2 hours since I had to go to three stores to get everything, due to stores being low on some things.
When I got home, the bedrooms were a trainwreck. There was nail polish spilt in the 7 year olds room, all the books off the shelf in my 3 year olds room, the toy bin was completely empty... You couldnt tell I did anything yesterday.
I was upset. I made sure my husband didnt have any meetings or anything with work (he is working from home) and could keep an eye on the kids. He brought his laptop into the living room so he could multitask. He said he could handle everything.
He is the AITA part. I told him he is going to help the kids clean up and I am not doing a thing to contribute to cleaning it. He said he got an unexpected phone call and had to deal with it. It took longer than he expected. He claims he forgot to check on them.
Am I TA for not helping them clean up? ###### | Nta. Seems like you cleaned yesterday and now it’s his turn. But honestly your kids are old enough to start cleaning up after themselves. Will it be perfect? No. But I mean it’s their room. If they won’t help clean up maybe they need less toys and books in their room ###### |
My (34F) boyfriend (35M) and I have been having a really rocky time in the relationship. I planned a nice treat for a picnic date that involved champagne and a spread of really nice food— as in, I spent an ungodly amount on cheese and charcuterie for us to enjoy.
He said that he would probably give some of it to his friends after because there was a lot there and I agreed so it wouldn’t go to waste.
However, he cut it up and planned on having it with his friends before we had the date. I said it was a mean thing to do and he said I was overreacting.
I usually pay for our groceries and this week, he contributed so he could get beers for his friends. He asked if I would respond the same way about the beer if he didn’t give money and I said, “fucking duh,” because I’m not here to pay for his friends.
I wouldn’t be as upset if he shared it after we had our time, but it feels like a dick move. AITA for getting mad or am I just being too sensitive? ###### | NTA. Seems like something special you were really looking forward to and he ruined the sparkle of it by opening the cheeses and giving them to his guys before you got to enjoy it together. Not to mention he didn’t pay for it. If he doesn’t see this is a problem, I would take the trash out! ###### |
So
About a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me. All that was explained to me was that she found someone else and wanted to end things amicably.
As far as I'm concerned, things ended amicably and there are no hard feelings regarding it to my knowledge.
A couple weeks later she texted me and was asking how things were, I maintained a relatively normal conversation, but told her that I was also involved with someone else. She started sexting me, describing in detail what she would have wanted to do with me had we stayed together. After a bit of this, I ended the conversation, and she sent a final message along the same vein. I did not reply. She openly admitted to being aware that I don't tolerate cheating, but continued anyway. Last I heard, she's really mad at me for not responding, but also kinda upset that she picked the other guy (according to a mutual friend, he has some mental issues. Don't know what, Don't wanna know).
So, am I the asshole for not responding, as she claims? ###### | NTA. Seems like she wanted you to come crawling back to her and is now upset that you found someone else. ###### |
My Nephew (14) has been going through a rough patch. He’s continually acting out and getting in trouble. Both he and his mother decided they needed a break, and he’s staying with his father for the next month to go camping.
He keeps calling home to complain to his mom about his Father and stepmom over trivial matters (usually food). He’s also doing nothing but watching videos on his phone and used up all the data we had. It was the end of the month so it wasn’t a big deal, but I warned him not to use all of our shared data on our family plan (5 people share it) or I would have to suspend his phone until he gets back.
Well sure enough he used our entire data plan (6gb) in one night watching videos. So this morning I suspended his phone.
AITA for suspending the phone?(he can still use WiFi, and call his mom with his fathers phone. )
I know he’s homesick, and emotional. And that having his own phone allows him to feel a measure of control and relief. I could switch our old plan to unlimited for another $120 more a month, but I’m cheap and that seems ridiculous. ###### | NTA. Sadly he has to learn. $120 more a month to accommodate is a lot of money, I wouldn’t call yourself cheap for not wanting to spend the extra money. As harsh as it feels now, he’ll grow up to realize that entertainment costs money and sometimes you have to make sacrifices from what you want for what you need. ###### |
This is kind of weird and I guess NSFW.
I’ve been just chilling in my room naked for these past few days because it’s comfortable. I don’t really do this normally. My mom got really angry at me and told me that I had to put cloths on. I told her I’m just in my room and I put on cloths if I want to leave, it’s her own fault if she comes in without knocking first (I’ve told her a bunch she needs to knock, she’s walked in on me changing one too many times..) and it’s not like I’m walking around the house like this. I feel like my room should be my own space and I shouldn’t have to worry about how appropriate my attire is. She said she doesn’t care and ‘what if there’s an emergency?!’
This is the kicker though: my dad hangs around the house exclusively in his underwear when he’s home. And I’m just like wtf?? It just seems so hypocritical to me lol. She never says a word to him.
I know this is super weird, but I have to know, AITA? ###### | NTA. Rooms are for being naked. At some point you’re going to shower and come back to your bedroom naked. I bet your mom’s not barging in unannounced then. ###### |
So my girlfriend told me that she wanted to show me an interesting prayer in her religion (she's Hindu btw and I'm a Catholic). I told her very politely that I will watch her say the prayer and not do it as I don't believe in her gods.
Christianity is based on monotheism and I cannot pray or worship another god, but I shall definitely stand and respect all gods and rituals and definitely celebrate their festivals.
She got offended and said that I wasn't tolerant towards other religions and that I was disrespecting her God, religion and beliefs by not taking part.
She then told me that when she was in a Christian school, she said all her prayers to Jesus. I told her that was a personal choice and that my belief is that there is only one God and all other religions are praying to different forms of that God.
She wouldn't listen to any of it. AITA? ###### | NTA. Religious freedom means that you are free to _not_ say prayers as well. ###### |
I am 16 and I am FTM trans, my parents know about this but deny it. Say they need more proof before they accept it.
One of the things I have never done is shave my legs. Although my mom always calls me a slob, disgusting and every name under the book. Last night she called me the most disgusting human being for no shaving my legs and I snapped at her, telling he I will never ever shave my legs and she'd have to tie me down to a chair and do it herself if it ever happened. This made her in turn call me a selfish brat who doesn't care about anyone but *her*self, and I would never get anywhere in the real world with how I act. ###### | NTA. Regardless of your gender identity, your very natural leg hair has precisely zero impact on your parents. Your mom is the selfish one thinking your choice to shave or not has anything to do with her. You're not disgusting. You are valuable. You don't need their approval. ###### |
I've been laid off and have spent a lot of time at home cleaning and organizing. Husband is working from home and mentioned that its nice that everything is so clean and we can actually enjoy our days off instead of always having something to do. So we tossed around the idea of hiring a cleaning service once a week or once every other week to catch up on the cleaning we miss. Mostly vacuuming, dusting, and occasional deep cleaning in the kitchen. We work opposite schedules and find it hard to do this cleaning because we either have our toddler or one of us is asleep.
Apparently this was just hypothetical to him because I did some research and he was surprised when I brought him numbers. (Any cleaning service would be after the current situation). He barely looked at the sheet, handed it back and said he thought we would just hire his mom if we ever needed.
What?
I said no, because we used to live with his parents and his mom is nosey, she has a full time job, and his family has a tendency to over stay their welcome. Husband looked taken aback and asked me to explain. I brought up all the times she would take it upon herself to do our laundry that was in our bedroom with our door closed. "Cleaned" my work spaces, and generally disregarded implied boundaries. I also tacked on that his dad follows his mom everywhere and has a similar disregard for boundaries. He agreed about his dad but seems miffed that I don't want his mom in our home, hired and unsupervised. AITA? ###### | NTA. Regardless of his mum being nosey or not I would not want my mother or mil going around my house cleaning. I also wouldn't hire my mother unless she was strapped for cash and even then I'd give her money before hiring her. Is that normal for him to hire his mother to clean his house? ###### |
To preface this, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a couple months and she has a variety of mental health issues, including severe social anxiety. One thing she has started doing is making this extremely loud high pitched scream whenever she feels emotion, like when she’s very happy, shocked, and as a greeting. It wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t so loud, it stresses me out and hurts my ears whenever she makes the sound, which is dozens of times a day. I ask her every time to stop or at try to be quieter, but she said it’s just instinctual now to do it and can’t/won’t stop and I can tell she doesn’t like it when I tell her to quit. ###### | NTA. Regardless of her mental health issues, I suspect the screaming is a **habit** rather than an uncontrollable utterance {such as cussing with Tourette Syndrome.}
It would be enlightening if you looked up her exact diagnosis in the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to see if screaming is a symptom. The DSM is a multi-volume reference book used by psychologists to diagnose mental health issues, and it can be found at many large libraries at their Reference Desk. You could look at and make photocopies of Reference Desk books but they cannot be checked out. ###### |
2 years ago, I (26f) inherited a home in Barcelona from my Spanish grandmother. I work remotely so I made the decision to move there for a few years, enjoying the culture and of course, lack of mortgage/rent. But I came home to the US to ride out this pandemic with family.
My friend, Sofia (25f) in Barcelona has to move out of her apartment as it’s being sold, and she is having trouble finding another place during this time. She’s asked me if she can stay at my place for a few months and just pay the utilities. If she really needs to she can move in with her boyfriend, so she would not be homeless, it’s just not ideal as he has roommates.
The problem is, Sofia is a major stoner and chain smoker as well. No matter if it’s prohibited, she has always smoked both weed and cigs inside her apartments (she’s had 3 since I met her), blasts music and has get togethers all the time. Most of my neighbors are all elderly. I hate the smell of weed (as well as cigs), and it’s still technically illegal in Spain. I don’t trust her to actually follow what my rules would be. So I gently said no and explained that.
Sofia thinks it’s pretty fucked up to say no to this with everything that’s going on, that I should have more trust in her, and that my home is just sitting there empty so it’s an extra slap in the face.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Recipe for disaster and your right to avoid it. I know someone who did something like this and the place ended up with thousands of dollars worth of damage and filth and was unlivable. ###### |
So here's the thing. We're out of quarantine but the rules are still strict. If you enter transportation without a mask you'll get fined. Another way to distance each other in buses, methods etc. is that they forbid us from sitting next to each other. They have put a sign on every two seats to remind people.
Another problem is that is young people stay in home to protect the elderly, yet in my country the elderly refuse to stay home and it's extremely annoying.
Today I had a group meeting with some other students to talk about a team project. I had to carry many things with me, like A1 papers and my designer.
When I finally sat on the bus, my back and hands ached like crazy. It didn't help the fact that today we had a heatwave. I managed to let my backpack to the seat next to me.
Now she enters. An old entitled Lady (around 60 or so). She is loud and she's not wearing a mask which is illegal. She comes to me(I was close to the door) and tells me to pick up my bag so she can see. I showed her the sign and told her that she can't sit here.
She responded, that I'm a rude bitch, I don't respect the elderpy, I steal all the space etc.
Once again I told her she's not allowed to sit next to anyone. She then proceeds to call me an asshole.
The thing that got me was that other people in the bus told me I was rude and didn't respect the elderly. I really didn't want to be a Karen, but I was tired, achy and followed the law.
I'm writing this from my phone, and on the bus. Please tell me if I made any mistakes (English is not my first language)
AITA? ###### | NTA. Really, if the elderly die from the virus because they don't respect the rules, that's on them. ###### |
We have had my niece and nephew for over 2 years (1,190 days to be exact). My sister has severe mental health issues and a one day she was having a pretty bad breakdown and was a danger to the kids. We went and picked up the kids and her husband said he would take her to the hospital. He then did NOT take her to the hospital or to get any other kind of help. Instead they left their 2 children (2 years old and 2 months old at the time) with us for an entire month without even bothering to check on them that entire time. Finally after a month of that my sister’s husband took her to the hospital and she told the hospital that she had been abusing her children and so CPS got involved.
Anyway, long story short, we ended up becoming official foster parents for the kids, the parents voluntarily terminated their parental rights, and as of yesterday we’ve officially adopted them. In the process of adopting the children we gave them our last name (they previously had their bio father’s last name) and the bio father’s family is PISSED that we changed their name. The bio father says he feels “betrayed” and wants to have a “serious talk” with us. I’m inclined to say “No. They’re our kids now. They should have our last name. There is nothing to discuss.” What do you think Reddit? AITA?
Edit—- someone below commented that 1,190 is over 3 years and they are correct. I can’t math. It’s actually been 825 days since they first came to live with us. ###### | NTA. Really bio dad? *You* feel betrayed? This fool has some real nerve trying to be the victim in this situation. ###### |
My entire childhood and adolescence life I strived to be this independent woman. I am now 27 and a housewife.
The other day I drove to my hometown to visit with a few friends (restrictions have been laxed in my province). We were catching up talking about our lives and having a blast. Of course our careers came up in conversation. Both are well established in their respective fields. Previously I was working in healthcare and they were surprised I am no longer working.
They ask why. I reply, "My partner is doing very well in his field and are financially well, he even has gotten two promotions since working for this company after three years! We decided since my health is not the best it would be beneficial for me to stay home and take care of the house." Also, my partner works out of town for a month at a time and I was working full time, so splitting house work is not very feasible.
We continued our night having a few drinks and playing games. The next day as I'm driving home I recieve a few texts saying along the lines of, "we're glad you're doing well but I cant believe you had the balls the rub it in our faces that you are not working and are a housewife. We thought you were a feminist and had more respect for yourself "
I am proud of my partner, I thought I explained my life choices in a non intrusive way. But now I am starting to think otherwise.
So Reddit, AITA for leaving my career to take care of the home?
TLDR; Left my career in healthcare to become a housewife. Which upset my friends who are "woke" as I also bragged about my financial situation. ###### | NTA. Real feminism is about having the freedom to do what you like for profession. If you’re happy, you have very right to be a housewife. ###### |
A girl from my high school posted a video of herself screaming the n word with her mother. Another girl posted a picture of herself with blackface and calling herself a n word on her Snapchat story. She also happened to have a VSCO account where she posts pictures of her weed and alcohol. I emailed my principal and my state’s athletic association that manages my school’s sports. My friends thought that I did the right thing, but my parents got mad at me when I told them what I did. They said that I was ruining the girls’ lives and that they didn’t deserve to be kicked out of school since they were young. Now I think it wasn’t my place to report them. So Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. Racism should not be tolerated. ###### |
Good luck with your new job. I hope you got the landlords permission for the lock as this is a joint tenancy, did you think I was going to still your spider man toys? Either way I'm not bothered except it looks awful and you should have asked/done a decent job of it. Anyways, hope everything goes well with your job
(The lock is perfectly lined up, fits the door flush to the edges of the door frame, and there isnt a single scuff mark around it)
Am I the arsehole for not asking his permission to install a lock on my room? Or is he the arsehole for not bringing it up until after left for 3 months? I feel like he should be happy to have a 3 bedroom house to himself for 3 months while I'm still paying full rent. ###### | NTA. Putting in a lock causes no more damage than hanging a shelf. He's most likely pissed at the perceived lack of trust and lashed out in an immature way. If that's what he's like all the time, I'd say you were spot on when you installed that lock. ###### |
So I have a niece and nephew, my nephew is 3 and my niece is 5 months old. Ever since my nephew was born my sister has just randomly dropped him off anytime she wanted without even asking me first. Most of the time she will drop them off with 20 bucks and expect me to watch them on the spot. I usually just end up watching them because they are just kids and did nothing wrong, but at the same time how are you going to drop your kids off to someone else and expect them to drop everything they are doing for you every time. Just recently she started texting me asking me to when it's late at night and I am in bed, then she will drop them off anyways even if I don't reply.
Now don't get me wrong, I love my niece and nephew, even though my niece always cries when her mom leaves and my nephew needs to learn how to use his inside voice some, but they are great kids and I love them lots.
So now as of yesterday I had just found out one of the people from my second family had just passed away, he was only 40. The reason I told that is to tell this, saw a post on fb yesterday about my mom saying she would watch my niece and nephew again while my sister worked, and my sister replied that she explained everything in text. I know I am a bit of a jerk for snooping through my moms text to her (only the ones from the previous conversation), but apparently my sister knew my friend who was like family to me had passed and proceeded to tell my mom "Your son can watch them for 5 minutes", then she proceeded to b\*\*\*\* my mom out for giving my niece formula when she's told her no in the past.
I don't really feel like it's my responsibility to watch her kids, even though I do enjoy their company and love seeing them, but still is it really my responsibility to watch them.
So am I the jerk here for not wanting to watch my sisters kids whenever she wants me too. ###### | Nta. Put your foot down the next time she shows up and tell her no. She is free to call and **ask** if you can watch them, but she is no longer going to get a positive response if she shows up out of the blue. ###### |
So I(21m) have a twin brother and he brought two pet parrots against my parent’s will a couple years ago. My parents are retired and not in the best of health and the birds wake up early every single morning and make constant noise. My brother however couldn’t be bothered as he continues to sleep in his room until 10 or 11 am while the birds have me and my parents up at 7 am every day. Not only this but the birds need food on mornings and my brother refuses to wake up early to feed them so either me or my dad has to put food and water for them every morning. Also in the evenings we wash their cages and put more food for the bird for the night time( this is around 5 pm). My brother has this habit of not only waking up late but taking a nap around this time so again we have to tend after them. Before he brought them home he assured us that he would be the one that would he seeing after them but it’s a whole different story now and we’re getting fed up. In addition to this he says he’s planning to buy more he use he “ likes them” but refuses to see after the one he already has. What the fuck?? Every time I bring up the topic of selling the birds he throws a huge bitch fit. My mom however defends him in this saying that birds are what brings him joy and it’s not my place to get rid of them because they don’t belong to me. I’m at my wits end with this. I like pets as much as the next guy but enough is enough. Am I the asshole here??? ###### | NTA. Put the birds in his room. ###### |
A little background, my som is almost 2 and I post very little about him on social media, not too many photos, because I don’t want his face plastered all over the internet. Anything I do post about him is all private due to my privacy settings so only the people I want to see it can. My SO and I have told all of our family members this multiple times, but for some of them it has fallen on deaf ears. My SO grandmother announced my son’s birth on Facebook with a photo before my son was even an hour old and before we even had the chance to tell everyone. And now my SO’s grandmother has my son as her profile picture and cover photo on Facebook, and after asking her to remove it several thousand times it is still up as well as several other photos of my son all with the privacy settings on public so anyone that searched her page could see them. Would I be the asshole if I reported the photos to Facebook to have them taken down? My SO thinks it would be rude of me, but I am just desperate. ###### | NTA. Protecting your child is the very first thing any parent should be doing, and the fact that this woman is ignoring your valid requests to keep images of your child off the internet gives you every right to report her and do whatever you feel needs to be done. ###### |
So My friend (F29) picked up a friend and they hung out for a few months before I met him. I cross paths with this guy a notice some really questionable tattoos. As a 30 year old black man I'm really concerned. The next day I ask her again about the guy and she confirmed my suspicions. So I got really upset and clearly let her know that her contact with him made me feel like me and my family would be at risk and if she continued to talk to him I would no longer speak with her. Fast forward a few days and I decided to ride by her house because it was a quarter mile from the store I was going to and low and behold that fuckers SUV is parked outside. So I send her a picture of the SUV and promptly let her know I meant what I said and blocked her number. AITA? ###### | NTA. Protect your own. Don't let them invade your life further. I respect you for setting boundaries and following through. ###### |
My girlfriend and I recently moved in together. She has a 3 and a half year old daughter. Her baby daddy is not really in the picture and her daughter calls me dad. She still breastfeeds her kid like 5 times a day and co sleeps with her every night and breast feeds throughout the night.
I have tried to sleep in the same bed as them and have had a lot of trouble getting a good nights sleep which affects me throughout the day, her kid wakes up crying at least twice a night screaming and the only way to get her back to bed is by breastfeeding . Which tbh makes me a bit uncomfortable idk why it just does .
I have communicated how I feel about this to her and she snapped at me saying I was attacking her daughter and if I loved them I would just sleep in the same bed with everyone because that’s what SHE wants. For months I avoided spending the night at her house, but eventually she came around and we discussed strategies for stopping co sleeping and weaning her daughter from breastfeeding. I was on board with that, I know a child’s routine is not easily disrupted and will take time.
We have lived together for almost a month now and she has made no effort whatsoever to do any of the things we talked about. It’s the same old routine as it was before , every night she sleeps in her daughters bed (my old bed that we put in her room).
I constantly tell her that I crave that “us” time for her and I to have some quality time together . But she becomes angry and defensive with me stating that she is not going to give up time with her daughter for me and that none of what goes with her daughter is my decision at all . We haven’t slept in the same bed once since I lived here, we tried once but she left in the middle of the night.
It’s put a strain on our relationship.
AITA for feeling like this and wanting more time with her and just her ? ###### | NTA. Pressuring you to sleep with them to your detriment, using the "if you really care about..." manipulation tactic. Roping you back in with the impression of willingness to change, only to yank it away once you return. That's AH behavior, and it's pretty toxic. Some people breastfeed for quite a while; I'm not qualified to say if that's normal or not, but I don't think it really has any bearing on who is the AH here. ###### |
So me and my partner are getting married in August, and we have had RSVPs back from people who say they are coming and add a +1 to the invite, and I have trouble confronting people to tell them no...
But my real AITA grievance is my mother...
She randomly calls and tells me to add this cousin or that cousin because they are family...
A side of the family I have little to no contact with because after my father passed away (when I was 16) my mother upped and left me about 2 years later to deal with a broken house and no income while she went back to live with her parents.
So AITA here for telling her no and she can't just invite whoever she likes? ###### | NTA. Polish up your spine, it’s hard but it’ll make you hate your wedding day looking back realizing how much you let your mom get away with because you don’t want to be confrontational. ###### |
So my 2 step sisters who share a room, I guess they haven't gotten along and arguing a lot. My mom and step dad's solution is to break them up in the room and move me and my step brother into a room. I have had the same room since we all first moved in and I was like 7 or something. I have protested this hard, cause I am 17 and don't want to share a room with a 15yo who always smells bad. Like I'm not trying to be too mean but he smells terrible and refuses to shower.
I asked my mom why one of them couldn't share a room with their brother cause they are all related while I'm not, and she told me to just suck it up. Since I had the smallest room I have to move out of my childhood room to my step brother's room. It sucks but its gonna happen next week, I am pretty mad cause I did nothing wrong and I AM the one getting punished while the 2 who are at wrong are getting a reward. My mom and step dad are telling me to grow up and suck it up but I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. AITA? ###### | NTA. Point out that as the only child who doesn't pick fights with siblings or smell like Satan's small intestine, you don't deserve to be punished. ###### |
I've been fairly overweight to moderately overweight my entire life. Until my accident, I was struggling to stay under 200 pounds. I was asked to be a bridesmaid for my friend's wedding, where all the other bridesmaids are moderately overweight to obese. The bride is what I would consider an average weight.
I got into a car accident 7 months ago. As a result, my entire torso got jacked up. The doctors had a LOT of work fixing me, and in doing so had to perform a very similar procedure to a gastric bypass. It was a rough recovery but I'm healthy now. I literally can't eat as much as I would like to. As a result of this and the recovery process, I ended up at 120 pounds, and I had to work to get to 130 pounds. It's going to be incredibly hard to maintain my current weight or gain any.
The only part of my body that didn't shrink is my boobs. Now I have 36D boobs on an otherwise thin frame. I look... ridiculous. I look photoshopped. My body isn't something that is naturally possible. It's hard to find clothes that look good. My old style no longer works and I had to completely find a new style, but my new clothes are working for me.
I've started getting more confident. I've posted pictures of myself in new outfits and have bought a new bridesmaid dress that actually fits me. I'm getting some positive comments, but I'm also getting really mean ones. They're saying that I'm encouraging unrealistic body standards/eating disorders, and making people feel bad that they can't look like something that isn't possible.
My friend that's getting married has cried to me that she feels pressure to lose even more weight for her wedding because "I'll look so much better than her". I don't know if I'm doing something wrong here. I'm just trying to get used to my new body and get more confident. ###### | Nta. Plus your body isn’t even unnatural! I am roughly the same weight and have 32dd. It’s just not a body you are used to yet. I am sorry they are acting like you are doing something wrong. You went through something traumatic and you have the right to be happy with where you are at. ###### |
If I do not shower in the morning, my husband begins making comments that I should do so, starting in late morning/afternoon.
I have a full time job, and I usually shower 7 days a week. I generally look nice. Every so often (once a month), I will skip a Saturday or, even more rarely, a week day.
Now, this fight kicked off because I didn’t shower yesterday and haven’t yet today...but I woke up late and am just lazing (edit: I have full plans to shower today) because I worked late last night, we’re obviously not going out. I am wearing deodorant and brushed my teeth. Husband insists more than 24 hours without a shower is gross, and if you’re worried about your skin, wear lotion. He says most people agree with this.
I say it’s unreasonable to expect me to cater to this somewhat irrational expectation.
So, AITA?
Tl:dr: AITA for thinking it’s not gross to skip a day of showering, and being unwilling to give up an odd unshowered day to placate my husband? ###### | NTA. Plenty of people shower every other day and no one can tell. Some people can't get away with this, but many can. As long as you don't actually smell, you're good.
It's gross if you got sweaty or dirty, but if you're just lazing around at home and it isn't hot or humid out, it shouldn't be a big deal. Your husband should quit micro-managing you, assuming you don't actually reek. ###### |
Alright for some background, I’m currently in high school (ik, my issue can’t be to significant because of my young age). Also, I workout nearly 3 hours a day in hopes of playing college football eventually. This of course has made me significantly larger than a lot of other individuals my age.
Ok, to the story. So due to the quarantine, I have been going on runs around my neighborhood. I enjoy running shirtless due to the Florida heat. On my route, I’ll usually pass a woman who sits on her porch, and occasionally her son playing basketball in the driveway. Yesterday, the lady flagged me down, so I stopped and looked at her. Before any kind of civil greeting, this lady starts lecturing me on decency and how it makes her son self conscious (he is at least 3 years younger btw). I told her sorry he felt that way, but it was to hot to run with my shirt on, and I started up on my route again. When I looped back around, she ran out in front of me trying to make me stop again. I just ran around her.
When I got home and told my mother, she said the lady was out of line, but did have a point. I was surprised she had never even batted an eye to the notion before, but made me think maybe I was in the wrong here. ###### | NTA. Plenty of people run without shirts on. Just because you're stronger/bigger than other people doesn't mean you should have to start wearing a shirt when you run. Don't change yourself because someone else is self-conscious.
As long as you're not like running naked it's fine. ###### |
Throwaway, mobile, all that jazz.
Tonight I was a Suspicious Sally and checked my husband's text messages from his smart watch. I see a series of messages to an unsaved number and while they're not explicit they essentially allude to wanting to meet up again. The weird thing is that it only displayed one side of the conversation, the responses from my husband's phone.
I confronted him and he insisted that he didn't know what I was talking about. I get his watch and show him. He shows me his phone and says they aren't in there so he's not sure why they're on his watch.
I pulled up our text history from our phone carrier and it very clearly shows sent and received messages from that number today. I searched the past 90 days (as far back as it goes) and there weren't any other matches (just today).
Then I Googled the number and it shows that it belongs to an escort. He says that proves that he's innocent because how could he get away with paying for it? And as for an affair, when would he have time. I manage the money and watch it like a hawk so I definitely would notice it. But he could certainly have credit that I'm not aware of.
He hasn't been defensive, just confused and agrees that it's fucked up and he'd be pissed if reversed.
So Reddit, AITA for not believing him/being suspicious? ###### | NTA. Please, girl. You know he's a liar. Why are you even asking reddit? Pack your bags. ###### |
I feel rather childish about feeling so jealous of my sisters birthday and know that as an 18 year old I should have more control over my emotions. Yet I have this petty feeling that celebrating her birthday is unfair since we never celebrated mine. I turned 18 this year and instead of doing anything with my family my dad went to Mexico, my sister locked herself in her room, and I sat alone at home and ate cake in the dark. I was expecting to just celebrate it when my family got back but whenever I’d bring it up my dad would alway ask to do it later and remind me I got a big gift card for Christmas so he’s not going to get me anything (I have an early January birthday). The gift thing wasn’t a problem since I didn’t actually ask for anything but when he finally agreed to celebrate my birthday he was intoxicated my sister left as soon as she got food to eat in her room and I ate in my room since his intoxication was super triggering. I feel like I lost my last chance to celebrate since I’ll be in college next year and am still really upset about the whole thing. I’ve brought it up with my dad a couple times but he didn’t seem to get it and now I’m worried that I’m gonna be an asshole when the inevitable feelings of jealousy and sadness come up tomorrow during my sisters birthday. Would it be unreasonable to leave the room if I’m starting to feel the negative emotions or should I grin and bear it? I made her a cake and now kinda just wanna not be a part of the celebration. I feel like either way I’ll mess things up and idk what’s the least dickish way to go about this.
TLDR: am I the asshole for not wanting to celebrate my sisters birthday after not having mine celebrated?
(Sorry if the spelling of grammar sucks I’m super dyslexic) ###### | NTA. Please take care of yourself and your own emotional well-being. :( ###### |
There’s this girl I know who is moving apartments; however, there is a 4 day difference between the end of her current lease and the start of her new one.
She said she was looking for a place to stay (I think money is tight so a hotel is not ideal), so I offered to let her spend those nights at my apartment on my sofa. She said no and that it was fine. Over the next few days she kept bringing up her problem again so I kept offering in total, I offered ~5 times. The last time, I specifically told her that would be the final offer and of she said no and later changed her mind, I’d say no.
Well now she’s gone and changed her mind and is asking again. It really isn’t an inconvenience for me, but I continually offered it to her, and she rejected knowing full well that I would say know if she asked. So I told her no.
I mentioned this to a friend of mine who says I’m being an asshole.
So uh AITA? I guess if I am then I’ll offer it again... ###### | NTA. Please don’t be a pushover she’s clearly using you as a last resort. ###### |
I’ll try to keep this short... my fiancé and I have been together for 5 years now. I knew very early in the relationship I had no intention of taking his last name. After the first year or so of dating when we talked about the future I mentioned I wouldn't want to take his last name because I like my last name. I’m second generation Italian and my last name reflects that. It’s an important aspect of who I am and my fiancé at the time understood. I said I probably would be fine if any kids we had had his last name and we dropped the conversation since it was so early in the relationship.
Fast forward four years we are obviously much closer to actually having kids then when we had that initial conversation. I mentioned today that I’m not sure I want the kids to just have his last name. I explained that it didn’t seem fair for them to be half genetically mine, and for me to carry them for nine months but for their names only to reflect him. I listed some options other people do, hyphenating the names, using one last name as a middle name, making a new combined last name, etc. To be clear this would only be for the kids I’m not asking him to change his name.
He said this wasn’t fair because he had already “compromised” by saying I could keep my name and that I told him the kids could have his last name so I can’t change my mind. I told him I’ve changed my mind as we have matured and the prospect of kids has become more real (which in my mind seems more fair then holding me to an off hand comment several years ago) but he is still extremely upset and not talking to me.
So reddit, AITA for not wanting to just use my fiancé’s last name for our kids? ###### | NTA. Please don't marry someone who doesn't respect your autonomy, think about things any more deeply than 'its tradition', or argue points in a manner more sophisticated than 'no backsies'.
The idea that he's 'letting' you keep your name makes me want to vom. ###### |
So my (19f) boyfriend (20m) was on the Ps4 last night playing GTA with his friends. I was sitting on the couch watching him when he started talking about me.
They were asking him gross questions and he was *answering* them after I kept throwing stuff at him trying to get him to stop.
He started talking about the sex positions I like, kinks and stuff I have, the noises I make, things we do in the bedroom, started talking about my body and told them he wishes he could show them my ass and tits and etc talking about how big they are and shit.
After that he started making “jokes” about how he’d let them take turns with me for “the right price”. He thought it was hilarious but it stopped being funny after like 1 minute. I kept telling him to turn it off and shut up because ew.
But they kept going on about certain features of my body and how he’ll show them for some money. He claimed he was joking but I was upset at this point in time. So I got up and unplugged his Ps4 so that he couldn’t say anything more to his friends. He Told me he was doing a “quest” or whatever and that I was being so uptight and a prude and that I need to “chill” because it was all jokes. Apparently I am overreacting for being upset.
AITA for getting upset and sleeping on the couch tonight and being a “prude” while he overshared things about our sex life and made horrible jokes? ###### | NTA. Please break up with your boyfriend. He has no respect for you and he essentially views you as a sex object for his entertainment. ###### |
My roomate and I aren't the most well off people but I like to save a bit of cash and buy the good stuff. Butter instead of margerine, fresh instead of packaged. It's like the ONE thing I splurge on to try and be healthy.
I asked if it was cool to have our own shelves in the fridge since we often buy similar things and it's easy to forget who's is who's. Also because he used this as a frequent excuse as to why he ate my things. (He will EVENTUALLY replace it but it's always the unhealthy cheap version, not what I actually bought. He agreed.
He keeps putting his stuff on my shelf, and then eating my food saying he "forgot" and that he thought it was his. I reminded him multiple times mentioning "hey man, I'm not rich, I can't feed us both :p " he laughs and agrees.
So the other day a bunch of my stuff was missing again and a bunch of his stuff was on my shelf (probably a prepped setup for the "oh I mistaken the items since it's all mixed!" Excuse) .
Instead of bringing it up I just ate the things he put on my shelf. And he got really upset saying he can't afford that.
I feel bad now, but at the time it felt justified. To be clear I'm not against sharing my stuff, but to be *asked* would be nice. Plus I like my own space to be able to see what I still have / what I need etc. I don't know if I'm overreacting because it's JUST a shelf, but I'm a broke student and it seems like a good way to keep track of my stuff.
Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Maybe he’ll stop with the stupid, transparent excuses now. ###### |
I was looking at an Instagram video of two black teens giving clothes and shoes to a white guy (yes, race is important here) because he was bullied in school for his clothes. It was really wholesome and to me did not at all make the impression that it was for clout.
I went on to look at the comments and saw some guy commenting „They just gave back what they stole anyways“ and then replying to other comments making it clear he was racist. I checked his profile and it turned out he was/is a student athlete at high school and playing football for the varsity team. Long story short: I wrote an e-mail to the school asking them if it was okay with them that their players publicly out themselves as being racist and submitted screenshots of his profile and comments.
I haven‘t received a reply by the school yet, because this happened like 20 minutes ago but I am kinda wondering... did I do the right thing? I could have as well just minded my business, it was just an internet comment and it might cost him his career. ###### | NTA. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. He didn’t have to publicly post those comments on the video but he did. If he really cared about his future and image he wouldn’t be acting as he did. So you didn’t do anything wrong except out a racist and probably taught him a lesson at the same time ###### |
My 8yo daughter has been staying at my Ex's for the past fortnight. We have a shared custody arrangement and she enjoys staying over there as my Ex's wife also has a daughter several years older who she looks up to. Depsite being long separate, I would say the arrangement had previously being working well given the circumstances.
Unfortunately, things turned for the worst when I went to pick up my daughter last Friday night. I had discovered that my daughter had gotten her ears pierced without my permission. She already had her ears pierced once before and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw she was wearing 3 earrings on one ear and 5 on the other including one up in the cartilage. Initially I thought they must have been magnet earrings or something but then I saw the earring posts at the back of her ears and they were indeed all pierced.
I asked my Ex's wife who was present how did this happen and she said that her daughter wanted her ears pierced again and my daughter wanted the same. Apparently she had a piercing gun and they did it at home. She was going on how my daughter was so brave getting this done. I went off at her and said that it may be o.k for her daughter who is in her early teens but my daughter is way too young and what was she thinking. I also said the least they could have done is call me first and that I will be reconsidering custody arrangements now. My Ex's wife responded by saying that her father was o.k with it and they didn't need my permission.
When we got home I removed the earrings from my daughter's ears. This upset her as she wanted them to remain. She is now asking to go back to her father's place to stay. AITA here or was my reaction justified? ###### | NTA. piercing guns are dangerous and can cause massive issues with healing, you have no idea if it was done in a sterile environment and if the person had any training with hepatitis or infection prevention, also cartilage piercings are harder to heal, they take longer and can get infected easily. also there are nerves in the cartilage that if pinched can cause damage. I'd take your kid to a dr to get tested, piercing guns are made of plastic and cannot be properly sterilized between uses. ###### |
my mom dropped her phone in the toilet at WORK the other day. she put her phone in rice for 40ish hours, and today, she USED THAT RICE TO MAKE LUNCH.
i told her there's no way im eating that, because her phone was in it. even if it hadnt dropped in a toilet, its DISGUSTING. she said its okay, since she disinfected her phone after it fell in the toilet and she washed the rice before making it.
i still absolutely refuse to eat it, she said that im being nitpicky and that its not a big deal. AITA??? ###### | NTA. Phones are extremely germy and filthy and even though she disinfected it I still wouldn't want rice that has had TOILET water on it. Idc if that stuff got washed, that's still gross IMO ###### |
So I (F18) have pretty severe arachnophobia. I’ve never been officially diagnosed, but seeing spiders can send me into what I call “cringe attacks” where I kinda spasm uncontrollably for a few minutes while physically cringing, and there have been a few cases where seeing too many spiders in one place or too close has caused me to have panic attacks. I’m not scared of them hurting me (I live in a country where they’re usually harmless) I just can’t deal with how they look or move. I can’t even look at videos or pictures of them.
I’ve dealt with this for as long as I can remember and have usually relied on my parents (mostly my dad) to get rid of spiders for me if I see them. I try my best not to be a bother but my parents usually get angry at me anyway because of what I do to avoid them. (I won’t shower if there’s one by the bath, I’ll avoid going to the toilet for as long as possible if there’s one nearby, I’ll refuse to go in areas of the house where spiders usually are, etc). There have been several occasions where I’ve gotten into trouble for trying to sleep downstairs or in the hallway because I woke up at 4/5am with a spider in my room and didn’t want to wake anyone up to make them get rid of it.
I’ve brought up therapy a few times but they both just say I’m being difficult and that I’m overreacting and need to get over it myself. I can’t set up my own appointment because I’m autistic and have social anxiety. Even if I could, I wouldn’t be able to go to an appointment now because of the current situation.
I’m not sure what else to do, but maybe they’re right? AITA? ###### | NTA. Phobias aren’t choices. You’ve expressed to your parents that you would willingly participate in therapy and that it’s something you want to do, and instead of enabling that they are continuing to complain about and berate you about a problem they're standing in the way of solving.
The positive here is that you are an adult and can make the decision to engage in therapy on your own. If your social anxiety and autism keeps you from being able to call or approach the therapist over the phone or in person, is there someone trusted in your friend group or at school that you could have help with the process? There’s also online therapy that can be done without having a counselor face-to-face, either through email or text chat. I would urge you to look into all of your options there. ###### |
About 6 weeks ago as we were leaving our house we saw a pet rabbit on the road outside our house. It was already dark out. We get home 2 hours later and it's still there.
We park the car and I go onto the road to see if I can catch it - it runs right up to me so I pick it up and take it inside. It's late now so I decide to look for the owner the next day.
We ask around our neighbours. No one knows who's it is.
So we just keep it.
Last Friday my partner was talking to a little girl outside our house, he was playing with our cat and she said she used to have a rabbit that's the same colour but she lost him. This is the rabbit we found.. Identical colouring.
So she runs off to get her mum to ask if she can have the rabbit back. Mum turns up and says yes so I hand over the rabbit and the food I'd bought for it.
This morning at about 5.30am I wake up early and go sit in my garden. Suddenly the rabbit runs up and sits next to me. I pick it up and take it inside. I hadn't tidied up its food dish yet (yes I am lazy for that one) and it just ate and ate like it hadn't eaten in days. I gave them the food!!
Also it was still dark. I went out on to the street and no lights are on in the houses (I didn't look to see exactly which one they lived in but I know the rough area.. All lights off in all of them) so they've obviously let the rabbit out all night.
WIBTA if I keep the rabbit and if they ask tell them I haven't seen it. I feel bad for the little girl but I'm really angry at the mum. My feelings towards the mum don't matter though, just want to keep the rabbit safe. ###### | NTA. Pet rabbits shouldn't be free range. You're just trying to protect it. The owner doesn't seem to have much knowledge or care for it. ###### |
I will try to keep this as concise as possible.
My wife and I have been together for going on 27 years. We met at a pretty low point in both of our lives, coming from broken homes and an unhealthy dependency on food. We both probably weighed around 300lbs, and though our weight has fluctuated over the years we both currently sit at around 350lbs and 450lbs respectively, with her being the latter.
I cook all the food that we eat as my wife is unable to be on her feet long enough to make meals. I am completely okay with this, as I’ve really been able to hone in on my cooking skills over the years and can essentially throw down in the kitchen. When my oldest daughter told us she was pregnant a few months back, it really made me reevaluate our lifestyle choices. I wanna be able to run around with my grandkids, but I can’t do that in my current situation. Over the course of several months I’ve been looking into healthier alternatives of our favorite foods and trying to exercise more, slowly implementing both into our lives and my wife was initially on board.
More recently she’s stopped wanting to workout with me which I respected, but I’ve continued to cook healthier meals and she no longer wants to eat them. I’ve stopped buying junk and with a suspended license she can’t drive to get fast food, so I assumed she would just eat what I made like she always has. She feels like I’m forcing a lifestyle into her that she never agreed to, but I’m not pushing her to eat what I’ve made or workout. I suggested she could learn to cook what she wants and I would even help her, but I won’t continue to cook foods I no longer want to eat. Does this make me TA? ###### | NTA. Personally I'd think enabling what is probably an addiction would make you TA. You're not forcing her to workout or degrading her. You shouldn't have to make double the meals. Encourage her to get therapy. ###### |
The wife has a strong passion for cooking. She cooks every night, with the exception of Friday where we go out to eat (or order in right now because of the current situation)
We have two daughters, who are 13 and 17. Usually as a family we clear the table, put the dishes in the sink, put leftovers in the Tubberware, and wipe down any spills or messes. The girls tend to make a mess at dinner so it teaches them responsibility, and me and my wife can’t do it all by ourselves.
Last night, wifey made lasagna with garlic bread and some Italian salad. She rarely cooks lasagna since it is a mess to clean up. Anyways we finish dinner, and the girls disappear out of nowhere and head to their rooms, which left me and the wife to clean up everything.
My wife was particularly upset because she had spent to much time cooking (she could have made one of those Stouffer’s frozen lasagnas and a bagged salad kit) and was tired and had to do twice the work we would usually do.
So tonight we decided to put our daughters to work and cook dinner for everyone. We printed out instructions for them, my 17 year old was handling the stovetop and the 13 year old handled the oven. They had no help whatsoever (except for small tips here and there)
As we were eating, they seemed cold and didn’t want to talk to us. The 13 year old thinks we overreacted and “her friends never have to help clean the table” We were originally planning to make the girls clean the table by themselves but felt bad and cleaned it as a family.
I honestly feel bad now, maybe we should have just made them clear the table by themselves instead of having them cook, put my wife thinks I was fair since the girls now know how much effort their mom puts into cooking and how tedious it is. ###### | NTA. Personally I probably would've made them come back and help last night, but cooking one dinner because they bailed on cleaning up is super reasonable. They're old enough they should be learning how to cook anyway (especially the 17 year old but even 13 is plenty old enough to know your way around a kitchen)
The best punishments are also skills. You didn't randomly take their electronics or something that's totally unrelated. You're teaching them the amount of work that actually goes into a home cooked dinner and that they need to value other people's efforts for them. Honestly good job ###### |
So I was selling a couple of my son’s old baby items online and as I was cleaning out the garage, I saw a Bugaboo pram set we borrowed from a friend when my son was younger. So I called her to see if she wanted to come to get it and she asked if I could sell it with my items for her and she wants $300 for it, and sure I’m fine with that.
So a few people had some interest in the pram and I finally got an interested buyer one evening who would come and collect it for the $300 the next morning. We swapped numbers, address etc and in my eyes its sold unless she doesn’t come and get it in the morning.
In the morning I had another lady message me about the pram and I advised her that it’s pretty much sold pending pick up/payment and that the lady is actually coming to collect it this morning and if she doesn’t get here by lunchtime I will release it to her instead, because the deal was morning pick up/payment. This new lady was quite desperate it seems and offers me $350 if I cancel the other lady now and give her the pram. But I said no sorry its sold pending and I’m not sure if the lady is already in her car driving to my house I just can’t call her and turn her around if she were.
I told my friend this happened when I gave her her money and she calls me TA because I didn’t cancel one woman and accept the other woman and get her the better price and now she’s responding to me with one word responses. WTH? ###### | NTA. Perhaps your friend should’ve sold her own damn pram if she could’ve done it better. ###### |
So this happened last year. I got engaged back in 2018, and chose my wedding party, 3 of my closest friends, and my fiancé chose his brother and 2 of his friends. Growing up, I was not close to my younger sister (then brother). There wasn't any bad blood or anything, we just don't have a lot in common and barely speak.
About 2 months before my wedding, my sister came out as a trans woman. I was happy for her that she's finally living her true life. Shortly after, she approached me and asked to be one of my bridesmaids, saying that it would basically be a sort of milestone for her in her new life as a woman. I told her no, because we already had everything planned out and the wedding was just a few weeks away. I told her I fully supported her if she wanted to wear a dress to the wedding, but it would be hard to include her at that last minute. She said she understood and didn't bring it up again. She ended up not attending the wedding, despite RSVPing yes. My parents and I tried reaching out several times over last year to see if she was okay, but she kept telling us she was fine and that she needed to be alone.
We finally talked recently and she told me she 'boycotted' my wedding because she knew the reason that I didn't want her as a bridesmaid was that she looked very masculine still. That isn't true at all. She insists that if I didn't find the way she looked objectionable, I would have included her. AITA? ###### | NTA. People will always, always make someone else’s wedding about themselves. She should have spoken more with you about it instead of boycotting your wedding altogether. ###### |
So I am 15M I am currently going through a serious depression I have recently started anti depressants and hopefully they will help alongside therapy. My sister who is 21F is a "micro influencer" which is marketing terms for people who have over 50k followers on a platform but don't have enough followers to throw a bunch of money at. Today she made a post on Instagram on her page that has 67k followers saying this. "Somone very close to me who I watched grow into the person they are today is suffering with depression. I have seen them become a shell of there former self what was a person who could always make me slime couldn't even do it themselves. After seeing somone I am so close to experience depression I have fully come to realize the importance of mental health I would like to advise all of my followers to always keep there mental health in mind." That is very much paraphrasing because the original post isn't up anymore. But here I was laying in bed at 2 pm on a Wednesday struggling to find the will power to go and do anything. My sister is sub texting me on Instagram for free engagement. She never talks to me maybe once she was showed any concern and that was when she realized that I lost a lot of weight. Which she congratulated me on not even thinking about the fact I have been borderline underweight my whole life. So I called her on the phone and went off on her for making the post. She took it down but my mom was saying she was just trying to do something nice and I call bullshit she was using a mental health post in increase her engagement rate. ###### | NTA. People who use other people’s conditions for clout if fucking disgusting. ###### |
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