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My 16 year old son used to work 8-12 hours a day doing construction , and that’s all he ever did. I had given him a month and a half to clean his room, but he always used the excuse that he was tired when he came home from work, and he’d always go to sleep. I finally texted his boss, and told him he was no longer working for him, because he couldn’t get his room clean. His boss had told us that he always had a job there, so we thought that would make my son clean his room. But he comes into our room a couple minutes later telling us he’s been fired, and he had found a replacement. Am I the asshole? ###### | YTA you got him fired because he didn’t keep his room clean? That’s so strange and controlling. He was working hard maybe you should have cut him some slack. Your username is misleading, definitely not a normal thing to do. ###### |
My brother and his GF have been dating for two years now and are both 18. His GF came around for lunch and they were talking about a movie that they watched. While we were all talking, they said that they love eachother deeply.
I asked them a question that was in my mind for a while now about how they are they together without being physically attractived. At first, they seem normal but then they got mad. After I told them that in my opinion, they just seem like best mates. My mum got angry at me and told me to go to my room while my dad didn't do anything (he also believes the same thing). My brother and his girl left the house as they got pissed
My mum made me apologise to them for what I said. My dad didn't say anything but my mum and the rest got angry at me. AITA? ###### | YTA you don't get to decide what constitutes a full relationship ###### |
I have lived in the same neighborhood for a few years. It's pretty Vanilla here. Recently, someone bought the house across the street. They seem nice enough. I have had no problems with them at all. Another neighbor came by recently and asked me if I had noticed the star. I hadn't. When they moved in, they had turned a mounted star (that was already there when they moved in) upside down. I guess it's a pentagram that way. I do not see them performing any satanic rituals, it's just weird. Then the same neighbor asked if I had noticed the clowns, and I hadn't. I looked closer and noticed there was a silhouette in the window but couldn't make it out. I walked over and looked, and it was a killer clown with an evil face with splattered blood on it. Again, I haven't seen anything happen over there. I feel like these are just some folks wanting to appear Cool by doing something edgy. I really don't know. I DO know that my kids are now afraid of the clown in the window that is always facing us. Would I be the asshole if I went over there and asked them to take the clown out of the window because it is scaring my kids? ###### | YTA you didn't even notice it before they pointed it out yet you say your kids saw it and yet they didn't say anything. You shouldn't be pointing out things to your kids about other people's houses ###### |
My gf has recently got very into skincare stuff. She suffered from pretty bad acne until last year when she went on acutane and it cleared it up. Since then she's been excited about being able to try different products and stuff.
One of her recent favorite products is this moisturizer which has snail slime in it. I find that honestly disgusting. She says it works really well for her skin which is a lot dryer than it used to be because of the acutane but I just do not get why you'd want to smear snail slime on your face. There's plenty of moisturizers that don't have actual snail in them. I absolutely cannot fucking stand the thought of kissing her on the cheek and kissing snail.
So I did some research and a couple weeks ago I found another moisturizer (it took ages, I had no idea there were seven million moisturizers) which has similar positive reviews to the one she uses, but without snail slime. It was expensive too, probably more than her snail one. I checked the ingredients and there's nothing in there that she's allergic to so I bought it. When she was out, I scooped out the snail cream from the pot and replaced it with the stuff I'd bought. I didn't throw away the snail cream but I decanted it into another container because I didn't want to throw away her stuff.
She used the new cream which she thought was snail cream for a few weeks with no issue. Then she found the jar of her actual snail stuff a couple days ago and asked me what it was and I came clean. I told her that the thought of her smearing snail on her face made me gag so I found a really good new one for her. I told her I hadn't told her because I wanted her to see that it worked just as well and she wouldn't give it a fair shot if I just asked her to use a different one. She hit the roof and accused me of tampering with her stuff. Ngl I'm still pretty sure I wasn't that out of order because I picked a great new moisturizer but she's still mad at me so I'll ask the hive mind AITA. ###### | YTA You deceived her and lied to her, all without giving her the chance to make the decision of changing moisturizer of her own will.
You should have just spoken to her, told her how you feel and take it from there. If she changes the moisturizer, great. If not, tough. It's her body.
Good rule of thumb is: if it's not yours, don't mess with it. ###### |
So, my girl friend and I are in a long distance relationship and today is her bday. We live in different states so I can't see her or travel to her. We were suppose to be in the Bahamas right now, but due to everything going on right now, we couldn’t do that.
I booked a Bahamas trip this week for 4th of July weekend and was going to fly her down to where I live. I didn't ask first because I know she can choose when she works and I wanted to surprise her and figured I can always compensate her for not going to work.
I took off work over 2 months in advance so I would 100% have the time off and told her the plans tonight. She is upset because the week I will be flying her down and we will be going, it’s her moms bday and she won’t feel right being in the same state and not seeing her mom. (We will be in this state for a few hours before we head over to the Bahamas lol... also her mom lives like 6 hours away)
She seems upset over this especially because I said I’m not rebooking and changing the dates - and she told my twin bro (they’re really close) that I should have asked her first and that you should always spend your moms bday with her.
I feel like she’s not grateful for the trip I’m taking her on, and wants to do everything for her mom and doesn’t even care to see me. Am I the asshole for not wanting to rebook the trip I already took time off for? ###### | Yta you cant just book stuff without telling your so and asking if its okay. ###### |
So! My girlfriend of a few months works in HR and we both live in a big capital city. For context I used to work in journalism.
She randomly messaged me saying John Smith (it’s a public figure who runs a newspaper in our country and pretends to be a Man of the People) apparently has a chauffeur drive him everywhere. I guess she told me because I used to work in journalism and have pretty left wing views. When I asked how she knew she said she’s in a closed chat group for some HR people in our city and someone working there posted for HR advice relating to it.
I said I didn’t believe her and got her to send a screenshot of the post to me. She did after a bit of reassurance and - well it was real alright!
So I said in my opinion she should send the info in to a gossip website (and sent her the link) and she wouldn’t do it, she was pranging out in case they somehow identified her as the “leaker” lol and kicked her out of the chat group.
So I sent the info and the screenshot in to the gossip site and now she’s annoyed with me. She said she uses the HR group a lot for work stuff and they’re really strict about kicking people out and finding out where leaks come from. I’ve told her she’s just being paranoid but she’s not having a sense of humour about it.
I’d argue given said public figure genuinely does present as a “man of the people” the public also deserve to know re the chauffeur life he lives lol
Tl;dr am I the asshole for submitting some info about a public figure to a gossip column that my girlfriend found through her private work chat ###### | YTA You betrayed her trust in you ###### |
So I play a lot of video games, and like most gamers, my online friends are all in different time zones. Usually we all get on at around 12:00 am my time, and I stay up untill 4:00 am usually. It has been this way since quarantine.
We usually play games like Gmod TTT which can get heated at times and cause me to talk a bit loud. I play with my door closed and actively try to stay quite, especially late at night, but sometimes a death squeal or two is forced out of me.
Some of my mom's friends had an unfortunate event happen to them two days ago and as a result, have moved in with us (a family of three in a already crowed house). My mom said it's possible they stay with us for up to 6 months, and the last time she said that (about a different family), they ended up staying for 3 years...
I'm also introverted, so the introduction of more people has definitely made my life more uncomfortable, but I haven't complained or said anything about the situation, because I know their in a tight spot.
So today I'm going about my night as usual, playing TTT with my friends at 2 am when my mom walks in and starts telling me off for still being up. She said she's going to talk to me in the morning because I'm keeping our guest up.
Am I wrong in thinking that I shouldn't change the way I live because we graciously invited a family to live with us? It would be a nother story if it was temporary, but I'm not going to quite playing with my friends for 6 months+!
I think they should adapt to the way we live, not the other way around. Especially since their moving in at a unfortunate time (lots of construction is going on in our house which has already causes a lot of chaos and clutter).
Besides, it's not like I can just fix my sleep schedule, at this point it's too far gone. I would need something like school to force me into waking up early again. ###### | YTA You are an adult living for free at your mom's house, the least you could do is respect her rules. And changing your sleep schedule is totally possible, you just don't want to. ###### |
While he doesn't scroll this sub, I don't want him to see this on my feed and feel bad.
For the past few weeks, my bf(24m) and I(24f) have taken to scaring the shit out of each other. If you scream, you owe the other person dinner or a back massage or other things like that. Pretty simple game. I've gotten my bf pretty damn good a bunch of times but he's only made me scream about 3 times and hasn't again for about 2 and a half weeks. He makes me jump, but not scream and he gets really sad when his plans don't work. And I honestly hate seeing him like that because I know he's trying his best, I'm just not easily spooked. Soo a few days ago when he scared me, I gave him a scream and my God did he look so damn proud of himself that he got me. But I felt bad about it and I spilled the beans after dinner and he looked so sad. He reassured me that he wasn't mad or anything because he's let me win before in other games but some friends I confided in said that I was kinda a dick for tricking him like that. Was I wrong to let him think he won? ###### | YTA yeah I think your kinda the asshole here because if you’re going to pretend so that he can get a win, why would you then go back on it and say oh actually I faked it you didn’t really get me? Either play the game properly or fake it and let him have his glory ###### |
We can have activities outdoor with 50 people in my city now. So my grandma threw me and my two cousins graduation party. We are all graduating college. It was super fun. My older cousins lent us their grad caps. I hired a photography and got him to take photos of me. My cousins wanted to get photos too but I didn’t let him take pics of them. My mom paid for him so his time belongs with me. My grandma was upset with this and tried to give him more money so he can stay longer so he can take photos for her and my cousins. He was up for it but HES MY PHOTOGRAPHER. ###### | YTA wow you sound possessive, your grandma was willing to pay for him too, and he's not YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER he's a person. ###### |
I live in an eight-unit apartment building for the last year. It's quiet. except for this woman who lives above me. I work early mornings so I go to bed at 8PM. All late night long she's slamming cupboards, doors, moving shit, etc. all night long. This is LOUD. I did mention it to her and suggested that if she needs to slam things then maybe get some felt coverings attached to her doors/cupboards. She said next time she would be quieter. Then it goes back to banging, slamming, etc. I have no idea what she's doing late at night and don't care. I do wear earplugs and use a noise machine.
She keeps on doing it so I set my alarm at 3AM and went to her door and knocked on it. She was mad as Hell. I apologized and told her that I would be quieter next time I wake her up early in the morning the same way she said she would be quieter the next time she wakes me up late at night.
EDIT: It's not like she ends her slamming binge at 9PM. I am awoken to a door slamming, something heavy dropped on the floor, a cupboard slammed, etc. at 11PM, 12:30AM, 1:45AM. I assume she goes to bed around 2AM because that's when it's silent and by then I have to leave for work in an hour. So I get ready and knock on her door. ###### | YTA work with property management first. Unless you did and didn’t share that INFO. ###### |
My daughter has been calling her father every day when she’s with me, sometimes for an hour or more. She’s been doing this since around when the pandemic started. It’s very frustrating to me because she never calls me when she’s with her father, and when I call her she only talks for 5 minutes before saying she has to go.
I asked her father to stop accepting her calls daily, and limit it to a couple times per week. He said that he wouldn’t stop answering calls from his daughter, and he’s not the one calling her, she’s calling him. He wants me to tell her to stop calling if I have a problem with it, but obviously I can’t tell her to stop because that will just make her upset with me.
I told him again that it would be polite to limit his contact to a reasonable amount when she’s with me, because I don’t interfere with his time when she’s with him. He got angry and said he wasn’t going to do that and hung up.
I think I’m being very reasonable here, and most 15 year olds don’t talk to their parents voluntarily as much as she talks to him. It’s only fair that when she’s with me she’s actually with me rather than just talking on the phone with him.
AITA? ###### | YTA which is probably why she doesn’t call you when she is with her father... ###### |
We can have activities outdoor with 50 people in my city now. So my grandma threw me and my two cousins graduation party. We are all graduating college. It was super fun. My older cousins lent us their grad caps. I hired a photography and got him to take photos of me. My cousins wanted to get photos too but I didn’t let him take pics of them. My mom paid for him so his time belongs with me. My grandma was upset with this and tried to give him more money so he can stay longer so he can take photos for her and my cousins. He was up for it but HES MY PHOTOGRAPHER. ###### | YTA what's wrong with you?
You paid this guy hourly, he's not your personal photographer. It's his job, why can't he photograph your cousins, for extra money, paid for by someone other than your mommy?
You sound nuts. ###### |
Me and my ex were together for 5 years and we broke up 3 years ago. It was a really abrupt end to the relationship and I didnt see it coming. I didn't get to say good bye to her family etc and I never really received any closure. Pretty much a month after we broke up I was in a bit of a mess and I started dating, my now wife who I am very much in love with. Shes super chilled out and really understands me but I still feel I never really 100% let go of my ex and still think about her frequently.
6 months ago me and my ex had twins, and like I said is very laid back and let me pick the names. I originally wanted to pick my ex girlfriend and her brothers names but I thought it would be too obvious so I picked her father and mothers names instead. They were both great people to me when I was in their lives and I think it was quite therapeutic to still sort of have them in my life.
Everything was fine until about 6 months ago, my wife put some pics up of me and our kids and a mutual friend of me and my ex pm'd me asking why the kids names were the same as my ex's parents. I panicked and blocked him, he then insta messaged me asking why I blocked him and that its super creepy to name his kids after my ex's parents. I told him its a coincidence and my wife chose the names but I am worried now he is going to inbox my wife and ruin everything for me. WIBTA if I told my wife preemptively that its coincidental and made it into a bit of a joke or just say its a coincidence? ###### | YTA what the actual hell is wrong with you? ###### |
I (62M) was married to my ex (58F) for 20+ years until things went downhill. From her perspective I was emotionally cold and stubborn, and from mine she was so up and down. She suddenly left me (especially due to money issues) for another guy and moved to LA to live in his literal mansion.
This was 15 years ago, and we haven’t spoken since. My kids don’t mention her to me, which is easy because she lives far away. I basically plan to never speak to her again.
My two kids are grown, and my younger son is getting married in October. When my older son was married, he sat me and my ex super far from each other. The wedding was large, and I was able to avoid her. We agreed on not doing any photos with both of us in it, so he did photos with me then her separately, and with each of our family sides separately.
My younger son and his bride have a problem with this. They have agreed to seat us far, but they want a photo with the whole family. They said that it can be a large group so we’ll be far from each other, but this is something I’m uncomfortable with. Apparently my ex doesn’t care, but I do.
We are not together or even friendly so I don’t see why we should act like we are for the photo. I intend on staying as far away from her as possible, then leaving on the earlier end. I quite literally hate her guts and I don’t think my son totally understands that. It feels like he wants his family to be back to what it was, but he’s not seeing reality. He now mentions when he’s calling his mom or visiting her, etc., whereas we previously didn’t speak of that. So, Reddit, AITA for not doing this photo and for avoiding her?
Tl:dr; AITA for not taking a photo with and avoiding my ex at my son’s wedding? ###### | YTA way to prove you are "emotionally cold and stubborn" ###### |
I live in a converted apartment under a larger house. A day before I moved in she got news her father is on his way out sadly and has been in Arizona since May 1st. A friend of hers came by twice over the month to get her mail and so on, ever since the second I met him he made my skin crawl. Like no joke cannot stand to be around this person, I think maybe 2 people ever have bothered me like he does. I was told he was going to stay upstairs for afew days. That night he started yelling at me and being so rude over something he misunderstood from my landlord/his friend and wasn't an issue. Its been more then afew days and im starting to get really frustrated. She's a very paranoid person and clearly wants him here to make sure I don't do anything to damage the property or her things. Also she admittedly doesn't know me well since I moved in right as she left. But I already have been here a month and the grass is mowed, no mess, parties, complaints from neighbors ect. It just doesn't feel like home at home and he has his own house in town, also she never mentioned anyone but her staying there while we talked about me moving in or when she left for Arizona. Basically every peace of mind she gains from him here is equal for me in the opposite direction. Am I the asshole for asking a date he will leave and if its a long time say I'm not okay with that? I can avoid him for some of the time, but definitely will always be in my life while here. ###### | YTA unfortunately but you need to take steps to protect yourself.
You don't get to dictate who is staying in your landlord's house.
However you can request all information go through your landlord instead of the proxy houseguest. (Double check your lease.) Use language like you want all information to go through your landlord so you know exactly what is expected. (Text or email preferably so you have documentation.) Cite him overstepping by yelling at you and how it's making you uncomfortable. Tell your landlord that since you don't know each other very well that you want to build a good landlord/tenant relationship with them and want to build trust for each other without a third party influence.
Go back over your lease. See if your landlord has violated the contract. Check your local laws for your rights. Take steps to avoid interactions with him. Make sure that he doesn't have access to your space without your consent. (Maybe a nanny cam?) You need to find a legal way to break your lease if you feel uncomfortable enough that you need to move.
Try to find a time to water that he won't be around. Or see if you can get a friend to come over for support. If push comes to shove tell your landlord that you can't preform the additional tasks for your reduced rent because of the houseguest's interference.
Everyone deserves to be safe in their home. And it's up to your landlord to correct the behavior of their guest. You can't just kick them out of your landlord's house. ###### |
So I just woke up, went into the bedroom, and it’s a disaster. Parts of shoe everywhere on the floor. I gasp.
Last night we were playing scrabble like good little quarantinee’s and he walked into the room gently holding her shoelace in his mouth, shoe trailing behind. I told him no, drop it, and he dropped it. I said “looks like he found a new toy” and she was annoyed, said something about how he “better not do anything” and then we continued our night. She left the shoe there. Admittedly, I didn’t move it either, but my shoes are always put in our mud closet next to the front door.
She wore these shoes 2 days ago and they’ve been laying in the hallway ever since.
She woke up and is now super angry at our dog (he turned 1 this past week). Mentioning about how we’ll have to get rid of him ( she doesn’t mean this, she always says harsh things when situations get rough). Throughout her discovering the shoe I mostly remained quiet because I knew that I believed the shoe shouldn’t have been left laying around.
Am I the asshole for taking my dogs side?
Is she the asshole for being mad at our puppy for chewing her shoe?
Is the dog the asshole for chewing a toy(shoe) in the night? ###### | YTA train your dog. They are no puppy anymore, they need to understand that not everything is a toy they can handle like they please. ###### |
Hello everyone!!
I feel like I'm crazy in this one. But basically my husband just loves copying my favourite foods!! We've been married 26 years now and he started this around 5 years ago and it really annoys me.
Anything I really like eating, he likes it to and then he'll go and buy it everytime we go shopping and say that it's his favourite too. He does it so much that its put me off my favourite food.
For example I used to love maple and pecan pies and they come in a pack of 2. My hubby tried it and after that everytime we went shopping he would buy it. It really annoyed me cause that's my favourite. He's done it with different things such a fruit loafs and brioche etc.
Now 2 days ago my daughter did the weekly shop and she likes to buy her dad something nice, so because his usual donuts weren't in stock she got the maple and pecan pies. He was happy when he saw them.
Later on I said to her, you know they're my favourite not your dads, he just copies me. She didn't say anything. I've talked to her about this before, how it annoys me so much that he copies my favourite food!!
So I've decided I'm just going to tell him to stop copying me so that I can enjoy my favourite food again.
AITA?? ###### | YTA this is the dumbest thing I've read today. A lot of people share favourite food, it should be something you can use to bond with your partner not get angry about. I am so confused. ###### |
As you know, french bulldogs have breathing issues due to their deformed noses.
I saw a girl jogging with her french bulldog. I told my wife i wanted to say something, but she said not to, so I didn't.
A few days later, I saw the same girl and dog around my neighborhood walking, so I took this chance to say something. I told her to please consider her dog's breathing issues when jogging. She told me when she jogs with him, she does intervals of light jogging for 1 min then does 3 mins of walking for 15-20 mins and she only does this every two weeks. Never in the Summer.
I see where she's coming from, but I told her he's probably not doing too good. She then says "ok i hear you - have a great day!". Honestly this is a rude response since I feel dismissed. So I ask if she's going to stop. She says probably not. At this point I'm mad so I tell her she shouldn't have gotten this breed then.
She then says "Yea sure." then walks away.
I told my wide about this and she said this is one of the dumbest thing I could've done and I should've minded my own business.
So, was I in the wrong? ###### | YTA This is between her and her vet. And she was unfailingly polite to you, but you were rude to her. The thing is, being dismissed when it is appropriate for someone to dismiss you is not rude. It was your cue to end the conversation. ###### |
This happened a few months ago but lockdown is making all of us dwell on our past possible mistakes so why not.
My daughter (6F) has a type of ichthyosis which is a genetic skin disorder that basically makes parts of her skin very very dry and scaly. I'm used to her getting some funny looks in public and luckily she's still too young to really notice but I definitely do.
I took her shopping a while ago because her friend had a new pink headband and they're best friends so she had to match, obviously, and so we went into a shop that sells accessories. My daughter spotted the wall of headbands and ran over to have a look. There was a teenage girl standing there, probably about 16, and when my daughter ran over, the girl kind of jumped and then immediately went to stand at the other side of the shop (the shop was super small so it was only a few feet away). I got pissed that the girl had seen my daughter and immediately felt like she had to get as far away as possible, so I looked at her and said "she's not contagious, you know." The girl gave me the stink eye and said "I was giving her space to look at the headbands, you weirdo" and then left the shop.
Honestly I have no way of knowing if she was telling the truth. People often think my daughter's condition is contagious or don't want to be near her in case she sheds on them (she won't.) But I do sometimes wonder if I was too harsh because my daughter didn't seem to notice that anything had happened. ###### | YTA the teenager didn’t say or do anything to earn your aggressiveness. Calm down mama bear. It sounds like your child ran up to the small area where this girl was already standing, which honestly, is kind of rude, and she moved out of the way. ###### |
I'm f24 my bf is 23 and we've been together for 3 years, he got into a car accident 3 weeks ago and broke both his legs and his right arm. He will make a full recovery and there was no other damage other then some cracked ribs.
Because of this since he's been home I've been taking care of him, and making him 3 meals a day getting him beer etc. But I am sick of it, I don't really like cooking but he can barely move so I have to for the time being. Before this we would take turns cooking and it was a lot more manageable and fun.
He asked me what was for dinner last night after I made him breakfast and lunch and I told him just to order uber eats because I don't feel like cooking he said he'd rather not waste money since we bought groceries and he's gonna need me to go down to the lobby of our condo and get it for him. I kinda just told him to figure it out for himself he's 23 not a kid and I told him I don't want to cook as much anymore so he needs to figure something else out. He called me an asshole and a bitch.
AITA? ###### | YTA the guy cannot physically do it for himself right now so what do you expect him to do? I'm assuming you love him if you've been together 3 years and live together, is that really how you'd treat someone you love when they are in need? This is temporary and I'm sure he'll make it up to you when he's recovered if he usually shares the cooking. How will you manage if you ever have kids and have to look after them and feed them all their meals?
Why don't you make things easier for yourself and give him simple foods for breakfast and lunch that just take a few minutes to prepare and do some batch cooking for evening meals so you only have to cook every other day and have leftovers on the non cooking day. ###### |
My roommate has said I'm a selfish cunt and that I should even move out so I guess I want the internet to say the same thing.
Yesterday a dog showed up and was barking under my window at my cat, who was in my window. I made a commotion and my roommate, who is a dog lover, got up and she got the dog.
We spent the morning walking around the various houses asking if it was their dog. The dog was attached to a cut cable lead. No one recognized the dog.
Fast forward, the dog was fine UNTIL she came in contact with my cats. After that, she wouldn't stop whining nonstop over and over and over and tried getting to my cats, who I had to lock up in my bedroom. This continues. The whining stops for a second but then starts back up. We have a fenced in yard, she barks nonstop if she's out. When not whining at my closed bedroom door, she is frantically pacing the house and whining then going back to my bedroom. She's a medium sized hunting dog.
This morning, after hours and hours of listening to her whining and pawing at my bedroom door, I let her out the front door. She came back after running around. I did this three other times. The last time she did not come back.
I had full intentions to take her to the shelter today. The one for my county is not taking animals and the one a county over is closed until tomorrow. I know a lot of dogs roam around us so I guess I was hoping by letting her out the front, she would just naturally go home. My roommate says I'm a selfish bitch and she wants me to move out because I only care about myself because that dog needed our help. My anxiety is already at fucking 11 with everything else that's going on, I didn't even know you had to pay to bring a dog to the animal shelter so I was already nervous about that. AITA? Should I just move out? ###### | YTA The dog was even coming back because they had no idea where else to go. You should have told your roommate you were on your last nerve and the dog NEEDED to find another place to stay, so they'd at least have an opportunity to help the poor thing.
Instead now the dog now also has a chance of getting hit by a car, lost, injured, sick, or tortured by somebody cruel instead of being looked after in safety before finding a home. There are people willing to help.
Imagine throwing your cats out there. It's *still* not the same because cats do better on their own than dogs, but maybe it'll help make you think about how it's an asshole move to unilaterally decide "Not my problem!". The dog is a living, distressed creature. ###### |
I \[14M\] was bored in quarantine, so I decided to post to r/AMA a post where I pretended I was a 14 year old with brain cancer, then reveal it's fake. The post blew up and got many awards, then I revealed it's fake. I expected everyone to laugh and leave it behin but now I'm hated all across reddit and I got death threats. So reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA that’s a horrible thing to do? Why did you think that pretending to have a serious possible lethal illness would be something that people laugh about? ###### |
Restaurants Just opened in my city where I am, so I wanted to just relax with and talk with my family. We missed times like this so we figured it was the right time.
I told her let's go some where a little nicer than usual. Meaning like upscale place. I wanted to eat good that night. Told her it was a steak house, didn't ask anymore questions so told her nothing else really about it. Figured she would know it cost a little more since I told her it was something nicer. Picked her up and we headed the restaurant.
We get there, she says "STK huh", I said "yeah, have you ever been here", she responded with "nope" told her she in for suprise. We walk up and get seated, I can tell shes impressed by the environment of the place. We get handed our menus, she looks at up at me almost immediately. Didn't even say say anything to me just looked at me. Face of shock. After looking at the menu for the couple's of minutes, she asked on how much we exactly plan on spending. Told her I'm going to get a steak, so I have no idea.
Staters alone are $20 then entrees vary from $40 to $50. I ended up spending $110 that night, she spent $60. We had good conversations throughout dinner but when it was over she told me I wish I told her exactly how expensive it was before. For she could've know how much she planned on spending. ###### | YTA that's a lot of money. If you're going to suggest such an expensive place maybe you should treat. ###### |
My girlfriend (24F) and I (35M) have been together for almost a year. She comes from a wealthy family. They own several houses and buy my gf everything she wants whenever she wants it. They’re good people, but I think they need to treat her like a woman instead of a child. I worked hard for everything I have, which isn’t much, so it frustrates me to watch her coast through life. They pay all of her bills, including putting her through medical school. All she has to pay for herself are her luxuries, so she is able to build up her savings much more than I am. Who the hell is able to save up while they’re in medical school? Well anyone can become a doctor with the endless opportunities that she has.
So yesterday my girlfriend and I got into a very heated argument. She told me her new laptop had finally come. I asked her what laptop. She said her old one broke a few days ago so she ordered a new one. She got a top of the line MacBook, way more bells and whistles than what she needs. I asked how she paid for it but I knew the answer, her parents bought it. So here’s where I might be the asshole. I was really mad knowing they probably spent 3 months of what could be someone’s rent on a computer that she *doesn’t need*. I finally just asked her if she’s embarrassed that everything she has in life has been handed to her. Naturally she got defensive and we started arguing. After a while I calmly said I think she’s a spoiled brat and her parents are doing a disservice to her. She called me a string of obscenities in return before hanging up on me. We haven’t talked since.
I get that I was harsh on her but I really don’t think I was wrong. She’s an adult who has no concept of what the real world is like. I want the best for her at the end of the day. Reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA that was rude as fuck. you started the fight because you’re jealous and petty, she did nothing to deserve that ###### |
I've been with my GF for 5 years and we recently had an anniversary. We did a huge thing and exchanged a bunch of presents. One of the presents I got her was a silver necklace from a game that I really enjoyed as a child and consider one of my favourite games. The publisher released it with a cubic zirconium piece so I had a jeweller remove it and replace it with a small diamond. All in all it cost me a pretty penny.
My GF loved it when I gave it to her and kept saying how happy she was with it, she'd wear it almost every day. When she was out with her friends one of them remarked "Oh, is that so and so's necklace from that game?". She Googled it and saw it was the same and blew up on me.
I explained what I'd done and how it was set with a diamond now but she was livid that I gave her "your gaming shit" and she now refuses to wear it and said I could do with it what I want.
Edit: This, [FF7, Aerith's necklace](https://store.na.square-enix-games.com/en_US/product/597038/final-fantasy-vii-silver-necklace-aerith-ribbon-ver-jewelry), is what I got her. I'm not really a gamer, I've got one gaming model which is just a plane and that's it. I've got a lot of other hobbies and I mainly just play FIFA or BF1 with friends every now and then.
My GF just reminds of Aerith a lot and I thought it would be a sweet gift. There were a lot of other gifts that were exchanged so this isn't the only thing I got her. ###### | YTA That kinda stuff is really hard to appreciate if you're not a fan. Idk man I know it's just a pretty necklace from a popular game but at the same time it seems kind of cosplay-ish? And that is never something a person wants to do accidentally.
I would be so embarrassed to be unintentionally wearing something from a video game character. Or really any niche interest (anime, Warhammer, MTG) I didn't share.
Would you be ok if she gave you something and you later found out it made people think you were dressing up as a character from Twilight? ###### |
I'm a pretty big and strong guy and I enjoy making people laugh and smile. My one party trick once I've had a few drinks is to lift people up and twirl them around. My GF loves it when I toss her around but as of late she's started to get annoyed that I'm touching other people.
I was at the park with a few friends and throwing people around which included seeing if 3 people could stand on my shoulders and back. As we were drinking we quickly came tumbling down in laughter. One girl however seemed to really enjoy me lifting her up to the point she kept asking and asking. I was happy to oblige and always made sure I grabbed her by the waist or bridal style.
We get drunker and suddenly she wants me to grab her in other places to lift her and wants me to grab her by the neck. I jokingly say "I'll probably end up choking you" and she replies she'd like that, I realise it's going too far and stop there. My GF wasn't happy as you can imagine.
On the way home we get into an argument and she says I shouldn't be touching any one else apart from her and I'm causing drama in the group. Apparently some of the guys see me lifting either their GFs or girls they like and feel emasculated, or they try lifting the girls and struggle which makes them embarrassed.
None of it is sexual for me, I just a giant performing bear essentially. ###### | YTA that girl was flirting with you before she asked you to choke her. The situation was inappropriate long before then. That's why she straight up asked you for a sexual favor in front of your girlfriend. You told her you were down for it with your actions. Many people consider flirting cheating and it sounds like you've made your girlfriend uncomfortable enough that you've put her firmly in that camp. ###### |
I have four kids in total. Two girls, ages 15 and 21. As well as two boys, ages 17 and 19. All four play sports. Both of my sons are basketball players, and received full ride college scholarship offers in their 10th grade years. In both instances as a reward, their mother and I bought them a car at either Christmas or their birthday as a reward for their outstanding accomplishments. My daughter's 16th birthday is coming up next month and she asked if she could get a car for either her birthday or Christmas, because her two older brothers did. I told her no, because those weren't simple gifts for no reason and they were rewards that they earned.
She immediately starts to lose her composure and complains that its unfair that we buy her brothers whatever they want but her and her older sister never got treated like that, then proclaimed we are being sexist and always show preferential treatment to the boys. I immediately shut down such preposterous claims and exclaim that they didn't get vehicles for being born with a penis, they got them as a reward for getting a scholarship and that if they didn't, they wouldn't have gotten it. I also told her if she gets one that I'd buy her one too. She then tells me she thinks, that I think they're better than her just because she hasn't gotten a scholarship yet, and cries off.
I then get a call about 2 hours later from my oldest cursing me out for making her cry like that. Saying I made her feel inferior to her siblings and I should've been more considerate. I understand her frustration at not getting what she wanted, but I don't see how my line of thinking went wrong here. I never said anyone was better than her. She simply My wife seems to agree as well but AITA? ###### | YTA sort of: unfortunately for your daughters. It is NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE to get a full ride scholarship for sports being a female. Universities do not put their money into womens sports. When I was applying for schools every school I spoke with said the max I could get for a soccer scholarship was 60% (guys could get 100%) Your daughters are at a disadvantage from the start with this. I believe though that you're missing her point. I dont think you're the asshole for not just handing her a car. But I think YTA because she clearly feels as if you favor your son's more than her. (Your oldest daughter might feel the same). I think that you need to have a conversation with your daughter because she clearly feels inferior to your son's. I also think you should tell her or help her earn academic scholarships and yell her once you know her college is taken care that you'll buy her a car as well. Or maybe tell her to do some sort of other work for the car. I dont think you're a huge asshole I just think that maybe you dont understand womens scholarships for sports DO NOT work the same as men's. It sucks but it is what it is. Maybe give her other ways to work for the car. And also I think you need to have a deeper more thoughtful conversation as to why she thinks you love your sons more. Because you could be doing it subconsciously. This isnt just about the car. She needs to feel loved and appreciated. ###### |
I’ve been with my husband for 21 years. I grew up with hamsters, ferrets, cats, dogs. He doesn’t like cats and has allergies, so I’ve given him that. I came into the relationship with a small breed dog and we got a large breed dog.. all learning experiences for him, but he loves our dogs. His only allergies that present are to cats.
Recently, our 16-year-old daughter wanted a hamster. She actually made a PowerPoint presentation about why she should have one. She already owns a crested gecko that she has taken amazing care of. She is also a straight A student and genuinely good kid. She also worked and saved money.
After her presentation my husband said no, and then I called him into another room to tell him I think if she is paying for it and caring for it and doing so great with her schoolwork, why not?
So I got her a hamster. He’s not happy with me, because he hates “rodents”.
AITA? ###### | YTA so your argument for her getting a hamster rested on the fact that she would pay for it but she didn't pay for it and you bought it out of spite of your husband ###### |
Some background. We are pretty well off financially. Me and my wife still work luckily and have 3 kids the oldest is 18 graduated highschool and the youngest is 13. We told our kids we had rules. If they don’t plan to go to college they are out of the house at 21 and if they do, out of the house by 28 so either way they have time to get themselves established.
The oldest said she wants to go to college so she can discover what she wants to do. She showed no interest in college before graduating and didn’t apply to any. Problem is, we, my wife and I, feel like it would be a waste of money. We have enough for each of our kids at this point and currently working on our retirement fund. But we think it would be a waste.
Our daughter barely made it through highschool and show no interest in college as said above. We sat her down and I said that it would be a waste if she goes one semester or one year and not go to any classes or fail out. She went ballistic saying we were crushing her dreams. I told her a compromise would be if she can pay the first two years either with loans and scholarships and made it through GPA wise, we would pay the final two years. Again she went ballistic and accused us for favoring her younger siblings ( after this I kinda do).
Me and wife stood firm on it until this week when she threatened to runaway with her boyfriend. I told her that her boyfriend is trailertrash. Honestly, her running away is putting some pressure on us, but I want to stay firm. My wife on the other hand is saying just give in.
Aita if I keep holding my ground and let her runaway? ###### | YTA So you gave her the choice of going to college or moving out at 21. So kind of an incentive to go to college I guess. Then, when she decides on college, you take that option off the table because you just don’t deem her to be a worthy investment.
People change you know. They can screw up high school but then realise that they wasted that time and want to do something with their lives. They can find what drives them and put their full efforts into it. Of course that’s not guaranteed but she’s your kid and you’ve held college out for so long you kind of have to deliver now.
You sound cold as parents, you’re financially stable so why are you so desperate to get rid of your kids
? ###### |
I am in a group chat with some of my classmates, including a girl with really, really big boobs. She never really talked about them being annoying. She posted on the group chat, “I’m getting a breast reduction! I’m so excited, say bye-bye to the twins!” I said “RIP” and posted a picture of a gravestone. It was intended as a light hearted joke since that’s the tone of the group chat. People got upset at me and basically accused me of being insensitive and sexist, saying I’m implying that the only thing that matters is her boobs. In my opinion it was just a silly joke and fit the tone of her message. AITA? ###### | YTA she’s excited about getting the reduction, how does your joke fit the tone of what she was saying? You should’ve just said congrats or something normal ###### |
My daughter has been calling her father every day when she’s with me, sometimes for an hour or more. She’s been doing this since around when the pandemic started. It’s very frustrating to me because she never calls me when she’s with her father, and when I call her she only talks for 5 minutes before saying she has to go.
I asked her father to stop accepting her calls daily, and limit it to a couple times per week. He said that he wouldn’t stop answering calls from his daughter, and he’s not the one calling her, she’s calling him. He wants me to tell her to stop calling if I have a problem with it, but obviously I can’t tell her to stop because that will just make her upset with me.
I told him again that it would be polite to limit his contact to a reasonable amount when she’s with me, because I don’t interfere with his time when she’s with him. He got angry and said he wasn’t going to do that and hung up.
I think I’m being very reasonable here, and most 15 year olds don’t talk to their parents voluntarily as much as she talks to him. It’s only fair that when she’s with me she’s actually with me rather than just talking on the phone with him.
AITA? ###### | YTA She’s calling him. Not his fault. Do what’s right for your daughter, not your ego. ###### |
So i have lived with my friend for 5 months now and we’ve been friends for 13 years. We both have kids she has a 2 year old i have a 1 year old. Just some background if y’all were curious.
So anyway I’m one of the millions of people who got laid off. So i obviously just stay home with my daughter. I do all the chores now too now that I’m not working but i am still paying my half of the bills. My friend is an apartment manager and is still working. And she is getting a stupid amount of perks right now for working like, being about to work from home, a raise, half days off, and paid punches.
This morning i was walking my friend and her daughter to the car and my friend said she’s getting lunch with her boss because of the paid lunches. I said mockingly because you’re essential and she said exactly. I then said you’re not essential. Which she said back at least I’m not sitting home all day of the couch.
I didn’t think i was an asshole for saying she wasn’t essential but now I’m thinking i shouldn’t of been so dismissive of her work.
Amita for saying my friend isn’t essential. ###### | Yta she's an essential worker. People still need access to their landlords right now. Actual friends are happy for each other, not resentful ###### |
We've been married for close to 10 years now (I'm 37M and she is 35F). We have two beautiful and amazing boys (7M and 9M).
In spite of this, something has been up with my wife lately. She's been acting very melancholy and distant. Just prior to getting married, there was a pregnancy scare. Honestly I was terrified... I really didn't want a child at that point just yet. I would be ready a year later, but not quite at that stage.
I told her my view, that ideally I'd like her to get an abortion but its ultimately up to her. I spent a lot of time praying that she would get an abortion and come to her senses. Thankfully she decided that she wanted to abort. And then we had our boys soon after.
Now she came forward to me and said she is feeling emotional about that time. I just didn't understand. Why is she bringing up this stuff from the past? Doesn't she care about our two boys? I told her that "I'm very glad that you had that abortion. It was the best thing to happen to me, and now we have our boys. They're our priority. Not what could have been, that's all not real".
This angered her and she stormed off. Since then she confronted me and called me an asshole and dickhead. I said that while I understand she is upset, its unfair to our boys. They're actually real children, whereas her abortion was obviously unborn, she needs to accept this. Our boys are our priority. Idk I am conflicted now AITA? ###### | YTA she opened up about her feelings and you were insensitive and guilted her with “don’t you care about our boys” ###### |
I live in NYC and my roommate has been quarantining with her parents since March so I have had the apartment all to myself. My boyfriend has been staying over more often (he also lives nearby in NYC) since it's just me in the apartment.
Well the other day the room above mine flooded and my bedroom was directly impacted and is unusable right now.
I told my roommate all about this and she offered me her bedroom to stay in until my room is fixed. I asked her if she was sure, and told her that I could sleep on the couch in the living room, but she insisted that it's fine since she doesn't plan on coming back to NYC until close to the end of the year. All she asked me is that I wash her sheets sometime before she moves back in.
Me and my boyfriend stay in her room together (we don't have s\*x in it because I don't want to be disrespectful so we do it in the living room if we ever want to) when he comes over. One morning she facetimed me and I picked up and she saw my boyfriend in her bed next to me and she acted weird and hung up.
Then she sent me a long text saying that she didn't know that he was also sleeping in her bed and that I should have given her a heads up. I told her we're not having s\*x in her bed or anything but she was adamant that I should've given her a heads up and that she was under the impression that it was just me and that she's not comfortable with both of us being in her bed.
I asked my bf and one of my other friends if I was TA and they both agree that because we don't have s\*x in her bed, it doesn't really matter. I don't really understand why she's even bothered? She's okay with me sleeping in her bed but not someone else? AITA? ###### | YTA she extended the offer to *you*. Not to you *and* your boyfriend. Sex or no sex isn’t the issue. ###### |
So I (16 F) recently came out a bisexual to my parents. They were very supportive and I am happy for that, but my mom and I were sitting and watching tv when she just told me something very out of the blue
Mom- "So about sleepovers..."
Me- "Yeah?"
Mom- "You're not having sex right?"
Me- "what?!"
Mom- "well you said you're bisexual, right?"
Me- "yeah?! So now I cant have friends over now?"
Mom- "that's not what I'm saying."
Me- "but you are! You are basically saying that because I am bi I am having sex with all my friends."
We got in a fight and now she isn't speaking to me. I just need some help to know whether I should apologize. I switch over to my dads tonight and she still isn't speaking to me (divorce) and I dont know what to do. Do I apolagize?
Edit: I read through the responses and my mom and I have sat down and talked about it. I realize that I may have jumped the gun and feel sorry. She apologized as well, and we are back on speaking terms. Thank you for all your feed back! ###### | YTA she didnt accuse you of having sex with all of your friends.
It's not unreasonable to check that you haven't been having sex during sleepovers upon first hearing the news since you could get well be attracted to/ dating/ sleeping with one of the friends you have for sleepovers. After all the reason most parents like same sex sleepovers is because they don't want sex to happen during them. ###### |
My last experience in this sub was bad but let’s try again. I (27M) have recently start working at a grocery store. My coworker (we’ll call her Kira) is pretty chill and we’ve become friends lately.
Kira loves trying new stuff with her hair and she’s had a lot of free time lately due to obvious reasons. She has been stung, bleaching, and otherwise changing her hair a lot. It’s really fried unfortunately and basically looks like straw. It’s a discolored yellowish green at the moment and she’s really unhappy with it.
She was telling me about it while we were stocking a few days ago and she asked if I think a short hair would suit her. I suggested that she just shave it off and start over given how her hair is extremely damaged and dead. She didn’t react in the moment but I later found out she was hurt. She texted one of our other coworkers about it and he told me I’d hurt Kira’s feelings.
Now I’m a pretty honest guy and usually give it to people straight. I think if a friend asks for advice you’re a bad friend if you are dishonest or sugarcoat the truth. But the thing is, I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. AITA? ###### | YTA she asked if you though she'd look good with shorter hair, you took the opportunity to tell her to shave it off bc you think her hair looks like shite... so you didn't answer the question and you insulted her ###### |
So yea my gf has this really dumb friend who she had for like 7 years. She sometimes visits us and I have been avoiding her the last few times when my gf asked I told her straight and she was very upset and told me that it was very hurting to know how little I think to someone she adores so much.
Btw this girl is like the most boring and annoying girl I have ever seen but she is hot af so people’s constant attention and interest in her fed her ego and made her this empty shallow person ###### | YTA read your last paragraph again. ###### |
So I 13M was born with aphonia and becuase of that I am effectively mute I am able to make very faint noise but it hurts to make and it's still very low. Now the past couple of days my sister(15F) have been having a sore throat due to her allergies. Well today she came down stairs signing (all of my family is fluent in sign language asl because of my disability) she was signing that her throat hurts and she couldn't talk. Wasnt a problem at the time. All throughout breakfast she was signing about how much it's going to suck not being able to talk durning classes. Well our classes are online right now and because of that I dont have my interpreter. So I signed to her saying "now you know how I feel" she then said "yeah but for me it's a bit different your teachers are aware you are mute, my throat just hurts." I signed back saying "yeah but you still cant talk maybe it will be a day in my life for you." She then signed "again its different people are more understanding for you because you are mute from a disability but my throat hurts so people wont take pitty on me like they do you." I the sign "oh yep of course I'm just a big petty party everyones nice to the disabled kid cuase that's how it has always worked." She then signed "I didnt mean it like that and you know it stop being so grumpy because you went to bed at 2 am last night." At that point I got up and took my dish to the dishwasher and went to my room to get ready for school. Now that I am in between classes I look back on it and am in between weather I was being overly sensitive or I was validly upset.
I should mention everything in quotes is paraphrased because asl to English can be a little fucky in structuring. ###### | YTA Playing the "I have it worse" game rarely keeps anyone from being the asshole. ###### |
Me and my ex are good terms still talk to each other frequently. I like to catch up on what's going on in her life and vise versa for her. We've been broken up for 3 years .has been going through a hardship recently, so I invited her over to just chill and talk with me.
My girlfriend is one of those people who thinks you should cut contact with your previous partner. No photos, delete text and whatever, I don't agree. That's why I didn't tell her until like 8 months into our relationship. Her response to that is for another time and place. So I tell my girl, that my ex will be coming over and should find something to do for a couple of hours. "Go for a walk, go hang out with friends just something". I'm the type of person that wants the setting to be intimate. It's personal, no reason for my girl to be here with us. They meet each other once but for a minute at most.
Her response " this seems shady as hell And trying to push me to the side" I responded with she "wouldn't understand because you don't keep a bond with your previous partners".
What ended up happening is, we had food, relaxed & talkedm typical friend stuff. My girl on the other hand, in my opinion went a little over dramatic. Stayed at her parents house all night. Maybe I read the situation wrong, what do you guys think? ###### | YTA or a troll
"So I tell my girl, that my ex will be coming over and should find something to do for a couple of hours. "Go for a walk, go hang out with friends just something". I'm the type of person that wants the setting to be intimate. It's personal" jesus
Edit- op is a bigger asshole than we thought, they now want to break up with the girlfriend to get with the ex
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gr4hzw/how_do_you_break_it_off_with_someone_without/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share thanks u/quixoticmelody ###### |
My boyfriend (23M) and I (18F) have been dating for a year. We met at university. He has met my parents and grandparents, and they really like him.
Yesterday my immediate family and I went to the cottage. Not technically our cottage but a friend’s that we borrowed from. My BF was invited. My family is Christian, and my grandmother especially was adamant that I don’t share a room with my boyfriend. She says unless we’re married we should not sleep together.
So I was supposed to sleep in a room with my cousin and sister while he slept in his own room.
Anyways my BF and I were playing pool in the basement at around midnight. Nearly everyone was asleep. He told me to sleep with him for the night. I reminded him that I’m not allowed to, and he said I’m an adult now and I can do what I want. He took my hand and led me upstairs to his room.
I wanted to get up early and sneak back to my room before anyone could notice but I woke up after most of my family. My BF was already downstairs. I was eating outside by myself when my grandma found me. She said she asked my sister where I slept last night, my sister told me I never came to the room. My grandma said she was very disappointed in me and that she expected better from me.
She also said that I should have set a better example for my little sister, and that I embarrassed her in front of her siblings (my great-aunts, who were also there). My mom was also upset at me but she didn’t lecture me or anything.
I felt really bad afterwards. My boyfriend said my grandma is overreacting and that we did nothing wrong, we’re not even at my house. He says I should stay in his room again tonight but I should remember to sneak out earlier.
Was I disrespectful by not obeying my family’s rules? Would I be TA for breaking the rule again and sleeping in my BF’s room? ###### | YTA only because you knew the rule when you went. You were invited and should have abided by and respected your grandmas rules. If you didn’t want to abide by the rule then you shouldn’t have brought him. Yes you’re an adult but you’re also a guest.
Also, your BF is the bigger AH for ignoring the rules all together and getting you to break them. ###### |
So my sister had a small informal wedding recently, and I stayed over at her place the night of. Basically it turned out that only a small amount of the wedding cake was actually eaten at the event, and she put the other 80% in the fridge.
I stayed up late and got stoned, and I ended up eating the entire cake. The next morning, my sister was furious with me and claimed that it was for them, and that I should have only taken a piece, but that really baffled me. Yes, she didn't specify that I could eat her food, but it seemed natural to me that a house guest should be able to help themselves to whatever amenities are available. I refused to apologize, and she's still a little upset with me about it. Honestly feel pretty stubborn about this one but I'd still like to hear anyone else's opinion. ###### | YTA obviously. Even if it wasn't wedding cake you shouldn't be eating fucking 80% of a cake. Let me guess, you're one of those people who eat all the leftovers or good snacks in the house within a day or two and use the whole "if you wanted it you should have eaten it" excuse. This is so rude and you definitely need to apologize. And stop being a selfish pig. ###### |
I can’t remember if it was a weeknight or not which is relevant but oh well.
Regardless the park closes at 11 and some kids were gathered being super loud and smoking weed which I didn’t mind until after the park closed and I got fed up. So I decided to take action. I put my speaker outside of my window, blasted the hamster dance song, and waited. Five minutes later I stopped and they had gone! Am I the Asshole? They weren’t hurting anyone just being annoying late at night and I was def a dick but was I the asshole? ###### | YTA not to the kids, but other neighbours. You were doing the same thing as them, only worse. Also I don't see you mention asking them politely to leave? Maybe they are loud pot smoking kids, but maybe they aren't little shitheads. When I was a teen I was loud and annoying as most teens are, but if you asked me politely to stop doing what ever I was doing because it's causing you discomfort, I'd stop. ###### |
For the past few months I’ve been going on a few (okay lots) of Tinder dates. I’m single minded and I’d like to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. One specific date I went on upset a few of my friends and they’ve since started calling me “Uber”.
I invited a gentleman to meet me for a drink. We’d been chatting for a few days and I was jazzed for this one, got a bottle of wine at a bar, some cheese, the whole thing. He arrived and we talked for about an hour. I told him to get all his stuff we were going somewhere else. So I took him outside the restaurant and told him he was a great guy, didn’t do anything wrong, and that I wished him well but I didn’t really feel any attraction towards him. I also told him that this was the best place to get an Uber and that I was going back inside.
A few of my friends think that was harsh and that I should have finished the date and then texted him about it later. Some of my friends appreciated it and said that they would want the same honesty. For the record, he said okay and I never heard from him again.
I’ve done this with a few dates with minor changes and I think I’m doing the right thing! I don’t want to waste anyone’s time, including my own. So am I an asshole? ###### | YTA not necessarily for saying it, but how you did it seems unnecessarily theatrical and cruel. I also don’t really think anyone needs to say anything after a first tinder date. Don’t ask the person out again. If they ask you out again, tell them no thanks. ###### |
Getting set up on a date that didn’t work. Was I an Asshole.
So many years ago when I was single and dating. I got set up by friends with a girl for a date
Friends of her,friends of me. They thought we’d click. But I didn’t get that connection.
We didn’t really click. But everyone said just go out for a date or two. So we did.
We had coffee. We had beers. We went for Walks. Etc.
All she did was talk about another guy. Constantly. Like a lot. An awful lot.
We went to a movie premiere. I got us great seats. She started to talk about him again.
Just as the movie just as it started, I asked her if she wanted popcorn.
She said yes...extra butter and a large pop.
I walked to the lobby, exited the cinema and got on a fucking bus home.
The end. ###### | YTA not for ending the date, but for how you ended it. Be an adult, use your words. Don't just walk away without even telling the other person you're leaving. ###### |
I used to work at a cosmetics retail store. I was there for 2 years and about 18 months in, a girl named Fatima joined our team. She was professional, kind and a great sales rep.
There was only one problem. Her FEET. SMELLED. LIKE ROTTING EGGS. They smelled what I'd imagine would smell like dead rats, vomit and beatle juice all at once. PUNGENT. OVERWHELMING. STALE. It was unbearable.
What's worse is noone in our team had the guts to tell her. She was just spoken about behind her back. "Oh here comes Feetima" and "stay 10 FEET away from her". We'd avoid her like the plague. She would even deter customers from our store.
6 months later, I was set to move overseas and handed in my resignation to my manager. At the same time, I offered to have a word with Fatima about her feet since I was leaving anyway and wouldn't have to deal with the repercussions. My manager was thrilled.
I waited until my last day on the job. I found the opportunity when we were both in the kitchen together alone. I said "Fatima, I'm going to tell you something that I would want you to tell me if I were in your position. Your feet smell like something died and is decomposing on them. It's so bad that everyone deliberately avoids you and I think you should do something about it".
She responded by saying she has a fungas issue and that she can't afford new shoes. She then broke down, called me inconsiderate and stormed out.
I never spoke to her again. My manager was very grateful.
TLDR: Took the opportunity on my last day on the job to tell a co worker her feet smell like something dead is decomposing on them since I'd never see her again. ###### | YTA not because you told her but because of the way you told her. ###### |
This is such a quarantine argument btw lmao...
So, my wife was reading a book yesterday and kept going on telling me about the book. Not like a, "oh this book is good, its about xyz". I'm talking she is trying to tell me about characters and their interactions, why this one character's childhood caused her to go into this certain field etc etc. Honestly, I don't give a crap about fictional characters in a book that I would never read. For context, my wife is usually doing this with other things...example, "You know that girl I used to cheer with, Rebecca?...No?...oh, well her brother got arrested for selling drugs". Kind of thing...as in, ok so some stranger I don't know got arrested. Cool.
This is not some big contentious thing in our relationship, just an annoying thing that happens occasionally, but it is what it is. Maybe it is the quarantine, but instead of just nodding and saying "ok cool", I essentially told her I don't really care to hear about the interworkings of this book. For the record, I currently feel like an ass, because she got really upset, was crying because I told her I don't care, which I did say that. I don't want to make her sad, nor did I realize it was that important to her. Ultimately I did apologize, because I upset her, but in terms of my feelings that upset her, I really still..don't give a shit about hearing about this kind of stuff. When I read a book, I don't tell her anything. I may say, oh that book I just read was good or bad, but that's it, so it it hard for me to even understand why anyone would do that. So, am I the asholes for not giving two shits about the characters in my wife's fictional book? ###### | YTA not because you don't care (you can't really help that) but because of how you went about communicating it. Also, it's really not that hard to pretend to care. Your wife is excited about something and was loving the book and wanted to share it with you. It seems she is highly bonded with you and wants to share things with you, even if you don't know the people/characters. To only care to be told about things you know is a little self-centered. If it's really killing you so much to be told extra information then go ahead and have her find someone else to emotionally bond with and share things with. But don't be surprised when that turns into distance from you. ###### |
My girlfriend bought an outfit online. It’s a tube top and a short skirt. The tube top just covers her boobs and the skirt is short enough to where her ass hangs out. I think it’s really hot, but I told her I didn’t feel comfortable for her wearing it in public because I felt like it was too revealing. She told me she didn’t feel that way but she also just bought the outfit. I told her that I should have at least a small say in what she wears out in public because we’ve been dating for over a year but she thinks I’m trying to be controlling. Am I the asshole here? ###### | YTA no, you don't get a small say in what she wears in public. You think you get to claim some type of ownership because you've been dating a while? Your comfort level doesn't matter here, if you don't like it then don't hang out with her when she chooses to wear it in public. What are you afraid is going to happen? ###### |
My husband kept some multi-generation steak knives in a junk drawer. He used them fairly frequently, but for Christmas we received a new knife block with new steak knives. I didn’t know that they were special to my husband and offered them up to my mother, who was looking for hand-me-downs for my sister’s new apartment. My husband was understandably upset. I have apologized profusely every time this subject comes up and have offered many times to ask for the knives back and give my sister new ones instead. He keeps declining, but keeps holding my blunder over my head. It’s come up again tonight. I’ve apologized again for my stupidity and offered to get them back, but I’m frustrated with him constantly holding it over me. He’s not answering my texts now. I know I’m the asshole for giving the knives away in the first place, but am I the asshole for getting frustrated? Should I just go ahead and get my sister new knives and get the old ones back without his “blessing?” ###### | Yta never give away something that is not yours. You should have asked.
The fact its still bothers hi. Should be a damn clue to get them back. Double YTA ###### |
My daughter (13F) insists on sitting in her room (on her computer) and doing her school work. She gets about 5 hours of work on weekdays and none on weekends. I would much prefer she sit downstairs in the living room and do her work so I can a keep an eye on what she's doing and who she's talking to. Apparently (according to her) she has to attend a meeting call with her peers and teacher for every lesson, she NEEDS to be in her room so no one disturbs her and so she has her notes to refer to.
We've been having some good weather lately and I've been asking her to go outside for walks and bike rides. Apparently she is too busy to go every day and now usually goes every weekend or so. I have screen time installed on her phone and she spends ONE WHOLE HOUR on her phone everyday! It's "essential" during the lockdown and she needs it to "contact her friends".
I finally had enough yesterday and decided to confiscate both her new computer and phone for a week. She will get them back provided she spend one hour outside every day for this week. She has an older slower laptop she can still do her school work on.
AITA? ###### | YTA massively. If she’s getting her work done then does it matter how much time she spends on her phone staying in touch with friends?
Fast forward to when she’s married. Her husband takes her phone away from her because she’s spending too much time on her phone. You wouldn’t stand for that would you? You’re basically doing the same thing ###### |
Two weeks ago we had taco night. My mom made a bunch of meat, beans, corn, etc. My brothers got to the kitchen about ten minutes before me to make their tacos and as I entered, my little brother was finishing making his fifth taco and used up the last of the beef. I was pissed because they didn’t save me any and the meat is the best part of the taco.
I told them to give me some meat and they ignored me and went to the living room and started eating. I went to my mom to tell her what they did and she didn’t even care. She didn’t tell either of them to give me some meat, so I had bean tacos instead. Not terrible but I was kind of mad about the selfishness.
Flash forward to yesterday morning and my mom made eggs and bacon. I got to the kitchen first, followed by older brother, then my little brother about ten minutes later. I took one third of everything that was made, and my older brother took the rest even though he asked me if my little brother had eaten yet and I said no. What a dick move.
Anyways, my little brother comes and sees that nothing was left, and tells our mother and all hell broke loose. She yelled at us that he hadn’t eaten yet, he is to eat first from now on, and that we shouldn’t have eaten it all. She then made him a separate breakfast.
I think this is unfair because she didn’t do the same for me. I couldn’t even convince her to. Furthermore, I took my fair share, whereas he took way more than he should’ve. I called her out on it and she wouldn’t respond. Then my brothers said I was TA. I disagree. What does Reddit think? ###### | YTA lmao. If you were like 13-15, I’d understand, but you are a 22 year old man. Buy and cook your own food so you don’t have to worry about your mom being “unfair”. ###### |
I know I’m sorta in the wrong for making the bet in the first place, but let’s see.
My sister-in-law-to-be announced that she was pregnant two months ago. I was really suspicious about this. I’ve heard rumors of her faking a pregnancy before. Again, I didn’t blurt it out, but that’s what I thought. The timing was too perfect.
I told this to my brother, and we did make a bet. $100 to the person who was right.
It turns out that I was right. She admitted that she had faked her pregnancy, after multiple holes in her plan were exposed.
Their relationship is a bit rocky now, me thinks. So, should I ask him for a hundred bucks?
WIBTA? ###### | YTA leave it, please. He's got a lot things to deal with atm. Be supportive. ###### |
I was at work yesterday and it was time for my break. I went down to the break room with a few of my friends. While we were eating, there were scenes of the protests on TV.
My friend made a joke saying, "all of these white people always cause shit". For context, he is black and I am white. I found the joke funny and returned it by saying, "if you guys have time to get down on one knee, you have time to work". We both laughed but our other coworker didn't. He told me that my joke was racist and I shouldn't have said it. I tried to explain that John (fake name) found it funny and that he is black (our coworker is also black) He didn't care and walk away.
Later on, I found out that he told our supervisor about my joke and that he wanted to see me after my shift was over. When I went there, he told me that he won't write me up but I shouldn't say things like that near him as he could get offended again. I left it as that and walked off. I told John and we were both confused about how he thought an obvious joke was racist.
AITA for it? ###### | YTA kinda for assuming that just bc one black coworker didn't find something racist, that the other wouldn't as well. POC aren't a hivemind. ###### |
I met a guy a while ago and we hit it off. We talked every hour of every day for 3-4 months, but chose not to date because of our differing plans for next year. We both agreed that we’d come back after next year and decide to date or not. We continued acting like a couple without formally calling it a “relationship.”
A while later, I realized that acting like a couple without actually being one (just to separate in a few months when he leaves to another country) is pointless. I told him that we should act like friends. He agreed and we still continued talking but he would still flirt. I told him again that we should act like friends and he got hurt this time for some reason.
A while later, he asked me if I still liked him and if I was talking to anybody else. I told him I did like him, and I was not a “thing” with anybody else and had no intention of dating anybody else. He still got upset and we stopped speaking so often when my grandfather passed that same day. He’d occasionally text me that he’s going to NJ. I assumed it was to meet some friends.
I found out very recently from pictures my friend sent me that he has been in a relationship with his best friend for the past two weeks (who lives in NJ!) -The same girl who lusted after him while we were seriously talking (he would tell me he could tell she likes him from the way she talks to him, but said he doesn’t like her at all.) I texted him asking him to confirm, and he simply said he is dating her, and has been for two weeks already. I was shocked and fuming.
AITA for expecting him to tell me he’s in a relationship or is it none of my business if we technically are just friends now? ###### | YTA kind of. You can't tell someone that you just want to be friends with them and then get upset when you find out they're dating someone else.
It's none of your business what he does and who he does it with in so far as he keeps his relationship with you friendly. ###### |
So I live with my girlfriend and her friend (also female) in a two bedroom apartment. Today while the gf's friend was at work I took a shower. When I got out, I came out to the living room without getting dressed and went to sit on the couch. My girlfriend got upset and asked me what I was doing. She insisted that I go put some pants on. I was confused but I did. When I got back out there I asked her what the problem was and she told me I was being disrespectful to her friend by sitting naked on the couch we all use. I was confused once again. I understand that if I was nasty and sweaty, but I was literally fresh out of the shower. Anyway, I told her that I wouldn't do it anymore but I didn't understand why it was disrespectful. Now she's mad that I don't understand. AITA? ###### | YTA just no. No no no no no. I own my sofa, and share a house with my kids. It's my house, so my rules, but I would never sit naked on a shared space. My bed? No problem.
Do you not consider anal leakage? Dropping pubes? And YTA for making me have to type this.
Just ugh. ###### |
Last night my girlfriend accidentally dropped her laptop down the stairs (our dog kind of jumped at her while she was going up). It still turns on but the only thing connecting the screen a keyboard are a couple wires and the screen is showing all those weird colors. Anyways she was freaking out about it and I helped get the hard drive out and connect it to my laptop. Luckily her documents were saved and I managed to transfer it onto her Ipad.
This morning she woke me up to ask if she could just access a few more documents through my laptop and I said cool. An hour or so later, I get up and see her typing up her assignment on my laptop on the couch. She said it would be easier since I don't even use it much right now.
Now my girlfriend isn't the most responsible person when it comes to taking care of things so I asked to rather use her Ipad and she was upset. AITA? ###### | YTA just let her finish and make sure she leaves the computer in one location. ###### |
My sister (31F) is having a baby in August. It’s a boy, but they are not planning to announce the name until he is born. This has really pissed off my mom and grandma, and they constantly bug my sister about telling the name.
After a while, my sister got sick of it and started telling them fake names. This might seem like a good strategy on the surface, but *its not.* My grandma especially freaks out when she doesn’t like the name, and my sister has been giving her fake name “contenders” on purpose.
For example, she said she’d name her son Mo Lester, Stalin, Egbert, and a few more totally crazy names. Every time, my mom calls me in tears and rants for like 10 minutes straight about how my sister is losing it and I need to talk sense into her. I always tell my mom she’s probably joking, but my mom is very gullible.
This dynamic is starting to annoy me a lot. AITA if I tell my sister to knock it off so I don’t have to deal with the drama? ###### | YTA it’s not your sisters fault your mom and grandma aren’t respecting her boundaries. Not to mention she is a freaking genius 😂 It’s also not her fault they are trying to loop you into it because apparently no one taught them the meaning of the word no. I really hope your sister sets some boundaries soon before the baby gets here. ###### |
My sister called today asking for money, saying she needs it for food. I asked why because she told me she works at a grocery store as her job(she’s in college and has her own apartment, I still live at home, I’m going next year). I thought grocery store workers were essential workers(which they are). She said she got fired and I asked why again, and also asked why she didn’t just ask our parents for money instead of me, since I don’t have a job anyway.
She finally ended up saying she’s a prostitute and that because of the lockdown she hasn’t had any “business”. I tried to talk some sense into her and told her to go out and get a real job, but she wouldn’t listen. So I told our parents about it so they would talk to her, and they thanked me for telling them. Later my sister called and yelled at me for telling them, saying it’s not my business to go telling people.
It’s not like I put it up on Facebook or something, I just told my parents so that they would talk to her. She blocked me on everything and said not to try and call her.
AItA? ###### | YTA it’s not your place to say something like that, especially if there was a chance it could cause family conflict.
If she wanted them to know, don’t you think she would have gone to them in the first place? In fact, she only told you when you kept asking why she hadn’t asked your parents... A CLEAR indication she didn’t want them to know. ###### |
Me: 20/f
Stepsister: 23/f
Parents: 40s m/f
I have a younger brother (18/m) but he is staying with my mom and stepdad for reasons.
Corona virus basically ruined my college experience. The school closed down when we were on spring break, so a lot of my stuff is still there. My best friends and boyfriend live far away and I can only see them through zoom and Skype until it’s safe to travel again. My internship for the summer has been cancelled and it's nearly impossible to get another job. We were planning a memorial day trip too and that's obviously been put on hold.
I also had to give up my freedom and move back in with my dad and step family, which has been a huge adjustment. My dad is very religious and doesn't allow things like drinking, smoking, etc. I have to follow their religion (Evangelical Christian if it matters) while I'm here.
My stepsister (S) is learning disabled and has a seizure disorder. She doesn't really leave the house too much on a normal basis except to go to church and occasionally do things with them. So she has her own set up and routines around the house. In some ways this is better for her, because she can attend more social events virtually.
I was talking with my boyfriend over zoom about how depressed I've been. Stepsister jumped in and said it's been "SOOOOOOOO hard" for her too. I was honestly fed up at that point that my privacy was invaded AGAIN plus it felt like she was minimizing what I have gone through. So I snapped at her, "what do you mean, it's hard for you? Your life has barely changed, my life has been ruined." She of course ran and told my dad, who yelled at me and basically called me an AH. I stomped up to my room and shut the door.
I feel bad, but I don't think I'm being an asshole. But am I? ###### | YTA It’s not a competition. Also you’re basically complaining that you’ve gotta experience what your sister has to go through for the rest of her life for what, a summer? ###### |
So due to this whole pandemic, I’ve urged my girlfriend to only order essential things from amazon. It’s a big risk to be ordering unnecessary stuff that could put us at risk. Anyway so as I was checking our orders I saw my gf ordered some kind of gloves. I clicked on it and they were these compression gloves meant for people with arthritis. 1: I urged her not to order unnecessary stuff and 2: she’s 22, she definitely does not need gloves that are meant for someone with arthritis.
I immediately questioned her about it. She told me she does indeed need it to help her since she’s a freelance artist and even with stretching her hands get sore and she has trouble sleeping over it. I still don’t think she needs it. Aside from the whole pandemic, she is *young* there is no reason she should be buying this instead of an older person who might need it much more than she does. She’s putting us at risk for no reason other than the fact that she can’t deal with a little pain. I cancelled the order before it could ship and she got pissed at me. This of course led to a huge argument. My job has me working my entire body, yet my gf not only wants to complain about a little wrist pain but she also apparently *needs* to put us both at risk because of this. AITA for telling her she does not need these gloves? ###### | YTA it’s common for artists to get arthritis at a young age. She could be starting to see signs and not wanting (or able) to see a doctor. She obviously needed them or she wouldn’t have ordered them. ###### |
Bit of background, my wife and I are key workers, i have been working at home the duration of the pandemic.
My wife has not been able to, So has been at home with the kids, only going in on a semi regular basis.
Ages ago my boss told us all to book X amount of holiday over the next four months , (so we don't go back to work and everyone has three weeks off.)
I booked some random days off and forgot about it.
It turns out one of these days off fell on one of my wife's work days.
I admit I could have told her there and then, but I felt like I needed a break, I couldn't remember the last time I had some time to myself, plus she would expect a list of chores done if I told her. So I didn't.
My wife works in a school, so the kids were looking forwards to going with her and there was barely anyone there after the deep clean, I would have the house to myself.
I had planned a day reading, going for a walk, just doing whatever, I was pretty pleased with myself
It gets worse.
The night before she tells me that, oh it's all cancelled and they would be staying at home.
It was too late to come clean, I couldn't cancel my holiday either, what could I do but go through with it?
Karma maybe? But I spent the day in the home office, still managed to read and take some time out. But felt awefull for pretending to be working. ###### | YTA it's understandable that you need a break, but why are you sneaking around and lying to your wife!? Suck it up, be an adult, and talk to her. I'm sure she'd be happy to help cover you for a day off if you offered the same to her. You're both working hard and full of stress during quarantine. You need to be a team. This was not being a good team. ###### |
My 14 year old son decided a few days ago that he was going to uninstall Windows on his laptop and install another program called Linux on it instead. I told him that I didn't care either way as long as he can still do his schoolwork on it.
The very next day, our desktop computer as well as his dad's laptop both got infected with a virus, our Dropbox got hacked, and we lost a bunch of our important files. There are no computer repair shops open near us right now, so we became stuck using my daughter's laptop until they open again. I am fairly certain that this is a result of my son installing Linux on his computer, because this happened to *two* of our computers right about the same time he installed Linux on his. I told him this and took away his computer so that he can't do any more damage with it, but he got angry told me that this is impossible.
Today, I looked up online how to reinstall Windows on a computer, followed the instructions, and installed it onto his computer with a flash drive. Once I reached the stage where he needs to input his information, I gave the computer back to him, told him what I did, and told him to never install anything dangerous on his computer again. He completely freaked out, started crying, and said that all of his files and his schoolwork are now gone because I wiped his hard drive. I told him that he should have thought about that before infecting our other computers, and that he should have backed up his files.
I had to do this in order to protect our other computers, but I'm wondering if I should have told him ahead of time before I did it. AITA? ###### | YTA it's impossible to get a virus on another computer by installing linux on a separate one if both of your computers got the virus that's on YOU.
Linux is not a program it's a separate operating system ###### |
So last July my brother announced he had proposed and the wedding was scheduled for mid 2020 ish (they didn't lock in a date thankfully because they'd have to postpone it due to this lockdown stuff) and the girl seems really nice. A little uptight tbh but definitely someone who can be chill and fun to be around after you get to know her. She's a CPA. So she texted me right about late April asking if I'd like to go to the Bachelorette part (obv. taking place when things reopen) I kinda just said no, but out of guilt I felt the need to get a gift for the occasion. This is what I got her.. [NSFW](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087SHDHQH). When she got it.. I mean when HER DAUGHTER (10) GOT IT OUT OF THE GODDAMN MAIL BOX AND OPENED THE PACKAGE. SHE TEXTED ME AGAIN. Then she called me, yelling about how I couldn't possibly be more inconsiderate and I'm lucky that she isn't calling the authorities (lol?) about this.
I literally just wanted to alleviate my guilt about not caring about her Hen night party and now she thinks I'm actually disturbed in the head. Am I? More importantly reddit, AITA? She won't drop this and we've had a somewhat forced facetime with my brother in the room recently and it was extremely awkward. She claims I might have damaged her kid for life. What. Do. I. DO. AITA?..
TLDR Wiener Book Wrong Place Wrong Time ###### | YTA it sounds like you barely know this woman, why would you send her a risqué gag gift? You had no idea if she was ok with those kind of jokes or if they would make her uncomfortable. That’s an awful way to start a relationship with a SIL. ###### |
I (20M) live with my large family, and I'm stuck with all of them thanks to the ongoing situation. It's been a tough month, and my mother (47F) has been looking for ways to make money.
She's had some credit card debt. Nothing major, but because her businesses' incomes have dried up, she hasn't had any way to pay her debts off. She's begun making hand sanitizers and face masks to generate some extra income, but she's always on the lookout for more cash to support the family.
A few months ago, she asked me if she could sell my old bike. I agreed, since I don't use it much anymore and it's just rusting in a corner of our storage. It took a while, but today, she was finally able to sell it, as well as my dad's bike.
I helped her to cart it out front and wiped it down before the buyer pulled up and paid for it. After the guy drove off and we went inside, I asked her for my share. She was bemused at first, and asked me who was the one who sold it in the first place. I said it was her, but it is still my bike and my property. She said she'd give me half. I disagreed, and asked her for the full amount as I also need money since I'm saving to move out sooner than later. I didn't mention the moving out part. That's a sore subject for her. She got upset and started ranting about how unreasonable I'm being and how the money would benefit me anyway once she pays off her debt and how she feeds and houses me and how she bought the bike for me as a gift anyway (6-7 years ago) and how I just horde my money (I don't, it's called savings). I sat silently while she went on for about 5-10 minutes and then she stormed off, got the cash and gave it to me, and is now giving me the cold shoulder. She gave me the full amount for my bike.
My family is making me feel bad for asking for the money, and I even tried to give her a portion, but she refuses to take it. AITA? ###### | YTA It sounds like she took an old bike that you abandoned on her property, one that she likely paid for, and turned it into cash. Dick move for sure.
​
>I'm stuck with all of them thanks to the ongoing situation.
It also sounds a bit more like they're stuck with you. ###### |
I'm a RN who works in NYC (I commute from a neighboring county, takes about 45 minutes to get to work with no traffic).
I don't need to explain how horrible the situation is right now on my unit, but today at least I saw more dead patients than alive ones. I wrapped more bodies for the morgue than I ever have in my 6 years of being a RN.
After leaving work around 7:30pm, I drove home. The roads were completely empty right after I got out of the city. I guess I was a little hard on the gas (78 in a 65). I really didn't notice since I typically go 5 over, but this was my fourth 12-hour shift, and I was going in tomorrow to help the unit since we are overwhelmed.
After I passed a cutout in the highway (cop almost never sits there), I saw him and braked.. too late. He had pulled out and had his lights on.
He asked where I was going/why I was going so fast and I explained I was a nurse (I had scrubs on) and that I really wanted to get home so I could shower, eat some dinner quick, say goodnight to my kids and fiance (I sleep in a separate room to keep them safe). He then said to hold tight... came back and gave me a ticket.
Now typically I support LEOs, I think they have a tough job and when done right are great people. But here I felt it was so wrong. I said "really?? you're giving me a ticket" and he said "yes maa'am you violated the law and there are consequences for that." I just was at a loss of words and told him he was despicable for doing that, he replied "haha, okay"
Now before everyone says to get off my high-horse, please... I've been given a ticket before while heading to the beach with my girlfriends and I fully accepted it and had no reason to speed. But today, with everything we are facing, I just felt like it was a slap in the face. Especially that the NYPD and FDNY applaud us as we enter/leave work. It felt horrible.
However... now the pre-bed time emotions are hitting me and I feel bad for being nasty to the cop. So , AITA here??? ###### | YTA ish. You're still speeding, by a lot. That's 13 over which is considered reckless driving (I believe) I'm an RT so I understand but he's also doing his job. How are you going to help anyone by getting into a wreck or killing someone for speeding. ###### |
My gf has recently got very into skincare stuff. She suffered from pretty bad acne until last year when she went on acutane and it cleared it up. Since then she's been excited about being able to try different products and stuff.
One of her recent favorite products is this moisturizer which has snail slime in it. I find that honestly disgusting. She says it works really well for her skin which is a lot dryer than it used to be because of the acutane but I just do not get why you'd want to smear snail slime on your face. There's plenty of moisturizers that don't have actual snail in them. I absolutely cannot fucking stand the thought of kissing her on the cheek and kissing snail.
So I did some research and a couple weeks ago I found another moisturizer (it took ages, I had no idea there were seven million moisturizers) which has similar positive reviews to the one she uses, but without snail slime. It was expensive too, probably more than her snail one. I checked the ingredients and there's nothing in there that she's allergic to so I bought it. When she was out, I scooped out the snail cream from the pot and replaced it with the stuff I'd bought. I didn't throw away the snail cream but I decanted it into another container because I didn't want to throw away her stuff.
She used the new cream which she thought was snail cream for a few weeks with no issue. Then she found the jar of her actual snail stuff a couple days ago and asked me what it was and I came clean. I told her that the thought of her smearing snail on her face made me gag so I found a really good new one for her. I told her I hadn't told her because I wanted her to see that it worked just as well and she wouldn't give it a fair shot if I just asked her to use a different one. She hit the roof and accused me of tampering with her stuff. Ngl I'm still pretty sure I wasn't that out of order because I picked a great new moisturizer but she's still mad at me so I'll ask the hive mind AITA. ###### | YTA in the category "we could have had an adult conversation where I would have told her I'm slightly put off by something she does, but instead I chose to do something creepy with the underlying idea that I know better than her what's good for her and she should now just be grateful because I solved the problem in spite of her unreasonable behaviour" ###### |
I have custody of my 23 year old autistic brother who has about the functionality of a 10 year old. I have always treated him no different than I would anyone else and I feel like if he wants to try it he should be able to. At the same time... I have a 9 year old daughter and there's no way in hell I would be ok with her trying it at the age she is now. I stopped smoking about 4 years ago during my divorce when the custody situation was happening and never picked it back up, but I am in no way against it. He is the one who mentioned this to me the other day and just brought it back up because I had just put it out of my mind as one of those things he brings up but then forgets about. I reached out to our mother and she is all for letting him have "those life experiences" but I'm unsure. Sooo... WIBTA? ###### | YTA if:
He does not meet the Brady test for informed consent, which was mentioned already.
You do this without consulting medical professionals.
You do this without a proper environment to keep him safe, which may involve having professionals available on-hand to deal with extreme behaviors.
I raised a child with Autism. I can tell you now that I have smoked weed, and still do on occasion, but HIM doing this can cause permanent changes to his behavior, interact with any medications he's on, etc. You don't want any of that on your conscience, or your criminal record.
Unless there is a REASON to do it (like it would help with anxiety, it would help with pain, it would help with focus, etc.) that you are not equipped to diagnose, this can be very bad, and you can be liable. ###### |
I have custody of my 23 year old autistic brother who has about the functionality of a 10 year old. I have always treated him no different than I would anyone else and I feel like if he wants to try it he should be able to. At the same time... I have a 9 year old daughter and there's no way in hell I would be ok with her trying it at the age she is now. I stopped smoking about 4 years ago during my divorce when the custody situation was happening and never picked it back up, but I am in no way against it. He is the one who mentioned this to me the other day and just brought it back up because I had just put it out of my mind as one of those things he brings up but then forgets about. I reached out to our mother and she is all for letting him have "those life experiences" but I'm unsure. Sooo... WIBTA? ###### | YTA if your brother doesn’t meet the Brady test for being able to give informed consent, and you’re not gonna pay for or be responsible for any potential negative outcomes or behaviours he exhibits while high.
Edited because spelling ###### |
I’ve been married to my wife for two years now and she’s always wanted to have a child with me. She mentions it often. I’ve even been “trying” to have one with her. The problem is that I’ve had a vasectomy and she doesn’t know.
My ex wife came over and dropped off our 3 kids 9, 5 and 4. And she’s pregnant by her now husband. Well her and my wife were talking about her new baby and if she knew the gender. Now my ex knows that I’ve been fixed as I did so after our youngest was born.
Well my wife says “I can’t wait to be pregnant, we’ve been trying to have a baby with no luck but it will happen when God allows it” my ex just smiled and she then looked at me and I knew what she was thinking with the look she gave me.
Later she texted me and told me I needed to tell my wife the truth and that she had baby fever and it was cruel to give her false hopes and pretty much called me a A$$hole. So AITA? I know it’s a little dishonest but it would break my wife’s heart to know the truth. ###### | YTA if you’re not a troll, you sound like a sociopath trying to pretend you have emotions about this. Who the fuck lies about being able to have children with someone they are married to and actively trying to have kids with? For two fucking years!? ###### |
Title says it all. My son 18m, has moved out of home, but is living in our property with his mates at a severely reduced rent. He’s looking at upgrading his computer and says he will “sell” his old one to me when he gets his new one. I want a gaming desktop so I can learn about online games. I current play console only. I paid half the cost of the original computer, and expedited his working career by driving him to every shift and not charging him a stupid amount of board. I also charge him below market rent and pay his power, gas and water bills for his current property while he’s studying at University.
WIBTA if I told him he can “give” me his old desktop when he upgrades? ###### | YTA if you try to demand the whole computer. You could argue to getting half of the profits off the computer. Honestly though the way you talk about you son sounds like you view the relationship as transactional. You don’t get a cookie for helping your child out especially if financial you are able to. ###### |
I'm 34F, he's 36M, we've been married for seven years. He's been a musician his entire life but unfortunately had his left arm removed at the elbow three years ago in an accident while hiking. Our house has a dedicated music room which unfortunately he doesn't visit much often anymore. Despite his love for the guitar, he's lost motivation to play (I even tried to find ways he could play with one arm). He doesn't use a prosthesis.
His collection of instruments is large. Fourteen guitars, some by his own admission worth $6,000-7,000. All told he has about $35,000-$40,000 worth of guitars and a further $20,000 or so worth of miscellaneous gear. Our music room is worth more than everything else we own combined.
Since he doesn't want to play anymore, I want to push him to start selling it. We have a four year old and not only could we use the cash, but the room we can turn into a play room. I've said "we" in this thread a lot with regards to the music room and I'm willing to move my violin stuff out of there if he can meet me in the middle. It wouldn't be just him losing a room, I would be too, but I'm willing to sacrifice it.
I broached the topic and he shut me down immediately. Even if he doesn't play it, he wants to still have them. So we have $60,000 of music gear sitting in a room collecting dust when it could depreciate in value. I can't abide this: we're not hurting for money but that's a lot of money doing nothing. I want to push him to sell.
Am I the asshole or nagging wife? ###### | YTA if you push him to sell them.
It was okay to ask. He declined. End of story. He may come around to the idea in time, or he might not. ###### |
I’m currently pregnant with twins, one boy one girl, and my fiancé and I are thinking of giving them kind of unconventional names.
I recently told my family some of our top options and they got mad, telling us we’re going to ruin our kids’ lives if we choose these names.
Anyways the names we chose all sort of play off each other. Names include Phoenix (girl) and Dragon (boy), Heaven (girl) and Earth (boy), Moon (girl) and Sun (boy), and Gold (girl) and Silver (boy).
We know these are kind of unconventional, unique type names but we both really like this idea so far especially since we’re having twins of opposite genders. My parents think we’re crazy and should reconsider. We are torn between standing our ground and possibly going down a different route. AWTA to consider these names for our twins? ###### | YTA if you name your son Demon. Wth is wrong with you? Why don't you just name him Evil or Satan, since you care more about being cute for 5 seconds than the lifelong self esteem of your child.
And if you name your daughter Moon,, all the other kids will be showing her their bare butts at every opportunity.
Someone has suggested using middle names for this matching monstrosity. If you must be eccentric like this then please take that advice.
If I ever meet some poor kid named Dragon I will just shake my head sadly and say, "I'm sorry, son.. I really tried to talk them out of it." ###### |
Hi all,
First post so apologies.
My husband works in almost an all female environment and has done almost 20 years, I accept these work friendships
Last few weeks I've been telling him that co worker texting him after 10pm asking for a lift is inappropriate, he agrees but doesn't control when they text him.
hubby has had 2 weeks annual leave and Last night at 1:30am he had a missed call of co worker. He didn't answer we were alseep!
He messaged this morning to see what she wanted and it transpires that she had had an episode where she had taken too many paracetamol in an attempt to end her life.
Co worker had a partner, has family and friends of her own. I say reaching out to hubby was way over the line and although I sympathise she needs to back off, she is crossing boundaries. Hubby agrees and simply didn't reply.... I want to message and tell her directly. However, I recognise she's currently in a bad place mentally and don't want to cause her further anguish. WIBTA?
Just to add there are no trust issues between hubby and myself and she has never sent suggestive messages but has previously phoned drunk during the early hours where she was told to stop. ###### | YTA if you don't give your husband a chance to have a polite and sensitive conversation with the co-worker before you step in. He needs to let her know that she needs to reach out to someone qualified to help, provide a local crisis hotline number, etc. ###### |
For context, we are in our late 20’s.
I had headphones on and was watching some NSFW context. My girl came home from work earlier than expected and caught me doing it.
The first thing she does is ask a series of questions. The conversation goes like so:
Her: *Is this the stuff you usually watch?*
Me: *Uh... it varies*
Her: *Do you think she is prettier than me..?*
Me: *I am not really comparing.*
Her: *Be honest!*
Me: *What do you want me to say now?!*
Her: *Tell the truth, would you cheat for her?*
Me: *The opportunity has not happened, idk..*
Her: *Would you be with her instead if she had my same personality? Do not lie to me please*
Me: *Possibly*.
Her: *So you would prefer some barely legal teen looking girl to me..?!*
Me: *Most guys would. She is hot*.
To that she stormed out. I have not texted her because I have no idea what to say anymore.
I get that I was a jerk, but I also think that shit games get shit prizes. She is the type of girl to ask these hypotheticals a lot and it is getting a bit exhausting to tell white lies to cater to her insecurities. It is not the first time she has asked me if I would leave her for someone younger, hotter, cheat, etc.
I was finally being honest and even if I had not, my answer would not have been enough. ATA?
TLDR: Girlfriend kept asking me questions because she is insecure. Was I too honest? ###### | Yta if you can't answer " would you cheat on me with this girl" with a resounding no then why are you wasting this girl's time? ###### |
Ive (25m) just recently moved in with my GF (26f) - I am black, and she is white.
Growing up my parents drummed it into me that white people using fake tan is equivalent to black face, and i thoroughly believed this until I met my GF.
For context my GF was raised by her mum, her dad died after her sister was born, and that side of the family became estranged. My GF and her sister are both white, but their biological dad is a shade of brown. She doesnt know the details of her heritage, and says its too painful to dig into family that dont care about her. I respect this, and i dont push it.
My GF is also not completely devoid of melanin, she had dark curly hair, and the reason she tans is because her skin tone is uneven. Her sister is blonde and white all over, so i often wondered why they looked so different. She let it wear off to show me once, and her stomach and back are brown, but her face and limbs are white. I still think she's beautiful, but i know she is insecure about it.
My mom is talking about us all having a holiday together next year, but honestly im terrified she will see my GFs fake tan in the bathroom or something. So i want to ask her not to do it while we're on holiday.
I want marry this girl one day, and i really want my parents to like her, and I'm so scared finding this out will make them disapprove of our relationship - and i'm scared my GF will be so hurt by my parents views she won't want to be with me. ###### | YTA if you asked her to stop, but your parents obviously are assholes whatever you do.
Fake tanning being equivalent to blackface is just ridiculous. It is a surrogate for tanning, so unless your parents also believe normal tanning to be racist (which would be just as ridiculous), there should be no reason for them to hate on fake tanning.
I think you shouldn't ask your girlfriend to stop fake tanning during the holiday, you would be rewarding the views of your parents at the expense of the insecurity of your girlfriend.
How do you expect to continue that in the future? You can't possibly expect that every time your parents and your girlfriend are together for longer periods of time, she stops fake tanning. There will be a moment that your parents find out, so you should stand up to your parents now to show your girlfriend you care about her and your parents that you disagree on their views about fake tanning.
You should however warn your girlfriend about this, so she knows it's just about some distorted and ungrounded views, and not for example some personal problem they have with her. ###### |
We just started streaming a new TV series to pass the time during quarantine, we're about a season and a half into it. I saw her earlier today reading wikipedia pages for the show on her computer and asked why she always reads ahead and spoils things. She said she hadn't read any spoilers and I said inevitably you'll read a major plot point or character death if you're reading a bunch of articles and pages about the show, and it upsets me that we intentionally sit down together to watch and experience something new and she ends up just reading the entire thing before it's done.
Now I'm apparently the asshole for overreacting, I just want to watch something together and have something fun to talk about. ###### | YTA If she doesn't spoil it for you, whatever information she chooses to look up does not concern you. It can still be enjoyable for someone to read about something and then watch it play out on a screen. We don't all "enjoy" things in the same way. ###### |
Hi guys,
So my sister said I should share this here. I volunteer with middle school kids doing science type stuff because I am a science major about to go to medical school. Anyways, I went to judge at a science fair and they told us there was this big emphasis on them being able to explain things correctly. One little girl was super nervous and was trying to explain a concept I thought was very difficult for someone in her age group to grasp. I told her "Sweetheart, I'm going to stop you here because I think you are nervous, and so I'm going to explain something to you so that you can explain it to other people better next time." Her mom was there and didn't really seem to mind when I was done explaining polarity to her, her mother even asked her if she thought she could explain it better now, to which she replied yes. I also reassured her that I would not dock her in my judging because I thought the concept was a little high level for her and that her inability to explain it had nothing to do with how good her overall project was (it was decent, not amazing). A bunch of my fellow judges were horrified and said I shouldn't have stopped her. I thought it would be better to correct her on the concept instead of knowingly let her explain it wrong to other judges. Everyone else thought I screwed her for the rest of the day by making her more nervous (although judges who went to her after me DID say they were impressed by her). Anyways this is probably dumb, AITA? ###### | YTA if only for interrupting her and calling her sweetheart.
But you also made the assumption that the subject was too difficult for her to grasp.
This whole encounter was super condescending. ###### |
I (27M) met her (26F) a little over 1 year ago, and it was actually her who asked me out. At first it wasn't serious but within a few months we were officially dating. I did grow to love her but it did seem like she was more into me than me into her, but now I'd say its equal.
Anyway, for the longest time I avoided meeting her family because doing so would confirm to myself that we were serious. But eventually I grew the balls to do it and realized her family is filthy rich. I never would have known It because it seems like she really tried hard to be modest about things.
Like, I'm talking multi millions. Her dad owns a very successful business. Turns out I got on great with her family, especially her dad. He took a liking to me, and offered me a job at his business. It's pretty high paying too and not a low level position.
After this, I mulled over things and decided to propose to her which she obviously said yes.
Well when I spoke to one of my friends, we were talking about getting married and he asked me whether her family's financial status had any sway in my decision to propose... and I said "yes of course, it is fucking awesome" and he looked at me weird and called me asshole. AITA? ###### | YTA if learning that she's rich was the main motivation for proposing. I really hope she makes you sign a prenup. ###### |
The Starbucks in my town has recently reopened for take out business only. These people have been put of a job for about a month now, so I don't exactly expect them to be stellar at their jobs at the moment. My gf and I had to get her car from the shop, so we decided to get Starbucks for ourselves and the family while we were out, she placed the order online and I went to pick it up. When I get to the SB, I notice that two of our drinks were made cold instead of hot (these were my gf's and mine drinks), no big deal, I know that mistakes happen and I don't want to add to their workload by having them remake the drinks. My gf and I tend to call each other on long car rides, so on the way home I give her a call and mention that two of the drinks were cold instead of hot. She gets mad and says "wow what a bunch of assholes!" To which I responded (pointedly) with "they're not assholes. They made a mistake". This caused a whole argument where she told me that she can't "express herself" because I react badly to it. I told her that I'm not going to let her degrade service workers who are doing their best during a pandemic (her response to this was "I didn't say it to their face"). After a lot of arguing, I ended up calling her "an entitled white person who has to always get their way" I know that's not a nice thing to say, but at that point I was so frustrated that someone would pop off about an honest mistake. They're risking COVID-19 just so we can get our coffee, I'm don't care if they mess up the drinks a tiny bit. She's furious with me for calling her out on the thing she said in private, and I'm furious with her for talking badly about people who are doing their best. So reddit, AITA?
TLDR; I got mad when my girlfriend called Starbucks employees assholes for getting our order wrong so I called her an entitled white person who has to always get their way. ###### | YTA If I paid for a hot drink, I want a hot drink. You can nicely ask them to remake a drink for you. ###### |
Some background - I (19f) have been staying with my brother -B- (23m) and his long term boyfriend -K- (25m) for the time being for obvious reasons. My only other option was going home to our parents who I don't get along with.
Since living with them I've noticed a few things. Like when my brother cooks he always sets aside some of the leftovers for his boyfriend to have for lunch which means it's off limits even if I want more. He told me after a few days that I had to limit my shower time to under thirty minutes and after I told him I needed extra time because I'm a girl he laughed and said that's a stupid and untrue. He also does his boyfriend's laundry, evening ironing his things. When I asked him to do mine too he said I was grown and could do it myself. Well, if I'm grown so is K.
At one point I drank the last of this really good orange cream float drink and K got mad at me because he apparently makes them special for B. I hadn't noticed that the bottle was marked with my brother's name or obviously I wouldn't have drank it which I told him. He rolled his eyes at me and told me to pay more attention next time.
It's honestly starting to feel like they don't even want me there and are trying to passively aggressively get me to leave. All I want is to be treated the same, am I the asshole for that? ###### | YTA I'm also a woman and I couldn't take a 30 minute shower if I tried
Adults pay rent and/or buy food or contribute. End of story. They have a routine and a life.. they are kind enough to let you encroach on it. You're not entitled. ###### |
This is a throwaway account. Some of you are going to think I’m TA just based on the title but I urge you to read to the end. I have 4 children. 3 sons ages 17, 14 & 11 and 1 daughter age 16. My 2 eldest are both very athletic. My son plays football and baseball and my daughter plays softball -it’s a girl version of baseball for those who don’t know. They’re pretty different
My son has a year left of high school and has already been scouted by several universities for football. He has real potential to be drafted in a few years. Naturally my wife and I spend a lot of money every year to pay for him to have the best training as well as traveling expenses. My daughter too is exceptionally good at her sport, but it is impossible for her to become a professional athlete as there is no major league for women. We pay for things she needs, but I will openly admit that we spend much more on my son’s athletic career. I see it as an investment into his future. My daughter’s is recreational.
My daughter gets jealous every time she notices my willingness to spend more on her brother’s career. She sees it as us favoring him, but I don’t think it’s that way at all. I truly love them equally. My decision to give my son a larger budget is only because he can go pro. If I could afford to spend thousands on them both per year, I would absolutely do that. Unfortunately I can’t.
My daughter talked to my wife and said it makes her feel like she’s loved less for being the only girl. A large reason she feels this way is because we put more resources into my son’s sport. I understand why it may initially be perceived as unfair, but I also think that if you know the full story then my justification is valid too. My house is very divided right now with my wife and daughter being on not so great terms with my sons and I. Please help Reddit. AITA? ###### | YTA I was willing to hear you out all the way up until I got to this little gem:
>my daughter plays softball -it’s a girl version of baseball for those who don’t know. They’re pretty different
You are treating her differently because she's a girl. You can wrap it up and explain it however you want, but that's what it comes down to. ###### |
Just for some background on our family, I had my daughter at 17, she turned 15 March. Her stepfather and I have been married since she was five.
A couple of years ago she started shying away from church, and around the same time building an altar. At first it was just crystals and candles. She said it was for meditation. Her stepfather and I were uncomfortable with it but we let it go.
With time she she has added more and more religious candles and deities, and she is focusing on it more. We are definitely starting to be less and less ok with it. We are unfamiliar with the things that she has there, we are uncomfortable with the candles and our intuition was to ask her to take it down.
Seeking guidance, we took pictures of the altar and posted it on Facebook, asking other parents what they would do about the situation, and seeing if anyone was familiar about it.
Many advised us to have her write out what each thing was on the altar. That way we can determine it’s appropriateness. If she didn’t want to do that then we had a right to take it down.
We thought that this was good advice so we went to our daughter and told her exactly that. She got offended about us questioning her religious beliefs, and told us that she would not comply. We have given her until the end of the week, the altar will come down if she doesn’t do what we ask.
We posted again to Facebook to update about the situation, and to my surprise people were reacting negatively to what I had done. Many people are saying that this is an invasion of privacy, and that I have no right to do this. I think that it is part of my parenting duty to teach my daughter moral beliefs.
Someone on Facebook actually recommended that I post here to get some other opinions, I’m curious about what people think about the situation.
If she doesn’t tell me the meaning of everything on the alter, I’m taking it down. AITA? ###### | YTA I mean why can’t you just ask her to share what the items signicance are instead of getting confrontational and give ultimatums? If you asked nicely maybe she’d have told you but now that moment has passed. Is she sacrificing animals? No? Then let her be. ###### |
So yesterday was my husbands 40th birthday. We’re Hispanic and pushing kids faces into the birthday cake is a big tradition. This also extends to adults birthdays, especially milestones. We have three children who are 10, 7, and 5. The 10 year old is very sensitive and caring and it’s been a difficult adjustment for my husband who grew up in a very macho household. He tries. He could be better but I know he tries.
Well my son hates the cake smashing and used to cry when his father did it to him. I defended my husband at first because it’s a cultural thing but since he’s the kid my husband struggles with the most I eventually put my foot down. I was worried that it was going to cause more resentment.
Anyway the kids wanted to play a prank on their dad so when I bought the stuff for his party I let them get a thing of cheap cupcakes to smash. He was napping by the pool and the kids were getting ready but I told my 10 year old that I think it’s pretty unfair that he’s about to do to his father when he doesn’t let us do it to him. He has so many boundaries and I try to get my husband to respect them but don’t dish it out of you can’t take it.
So the younger two did their prank and we had people over that evening. Both of our families are loud and kind of obnoxious and I know it’s a lot for my son but this morning he told he he doesn’t feel like he fits in and now I feel like an asshole. ###### | YTA I hate when people blame culture for doing something that is borderline abusive ###### |
I'm a second-year radiology resident in a city in the Pacific Northwest. I'm a decent-looking guy, but a bit short and very socially awkward. So until recently, despite my best efforts, I've never been with anyone in any way at all. I was beginning to think I'd die a virgin without ever having been kissed...until I moved out here to Seattle. There, I found a lot of decently-put-together fairly attractive women that were living on the streets. I decided that was my best chance at sleeping with someone, and so decided to take advantage of the fact that I had a stable living situation to kick-start my romantic life.
I understand that these women are often vulnerable and in a shitty place in life; however, I always try to leave them in a better place than I found them. I buy them food and the supplies they need, leave them with a couple hundred dollars, and buy 'em six months' worth of a UPS mailbox so they can find jobs using the mailbox as a street address. I have a girlfriend, now, who's grateful for a place to live and is now in training to be a certified nurse's assistant. ###### | YTA I got chills reading this, this is so scary and sick. ###### |
My grandmother is 90 this year.
I'm 34 and SIL is 30.
My SIL visits my grandmother with her children and my brother three times a week, I visit as much as possible which is usually three times a month but we usually Skype or call at least twice a week, I live further away so it just isnt possible for me to visit as frequently.
My SIL has always been very involved with the family, my brother has always tried to make everyone include her since she was adopted and her adopted family went no contact with her (they had a child of their own not too long after adopting her)
I personally think sometimes SIL is overly involved, she's not actually family.
Apparently my grandmothers care worker asked her work to phone family to talk to my grandmother, apparently she was getting emotional when care worker went to leave because obviously nobody has been visiting as much.
Apparently instead of me being contacted (they have my number and brothers number) they contacted my brother despite me saying contact him only in emergencies if I'm not available.
SIL apparently spent 2 hours on the phone and only told me since grandma had asked where I was.
It's not like I'm low contact, I've specified to contact ME, SIL isnt actually her family and should've passed the message to call to me.
I called them up and complained as I should've been informed, not her.
My husband thinks I'm being pety but I think it was unprofessional on the care workers part and especially so on her boss.
Apparently I'm an AH for overreacting I don't think I overreacted and I'm actually considering changing her carer because I'm concerned about what else I'm not being informed about.
AITA ? ###### | YTA I don't even get why you are the first point of contact when you are further away from the care home. Also family isn't just about who is related by blood ###### |
This happened back in Feb but it’s still an issue which she brought up recently.
The title makes me sound like I’m definitely the asshole, but just let me explain:
So my (25M) girlfriend (25F) was picking up something at my workplace. This is an office job, but it’s very stressful. Anyway, I went down to the lobby to handoff the thing my girlfriend needed. I went back up right after.
Later that night, my girlfriend was telling me how she went to the bathroom in the lobby, and there was this girl quietly crying. My girlfriend said she stayed for a little bit and comforted her.
Now the reason I am really annoyed by this is because that girl had got into a *huge* argument with out boss (she was clearly in the wrong though). She was acting super arrogant about something and basically got chewed out by our boss. He was seriously pissed. Basically what happened was, our boss asked her to get him a tea bag from our coffee station. She thought she was to good for that (this is something that we all have to do from time to time) and they got into a huge argument.
Our boss just told her to go home for the day, and the other bosses (our boss’s peers) didn’t say anything.
Obviously people talk, and pretty much everyone agrees that that girl was in the wrong. Sure none of us *like* having to do that stuff, but it rarely happens.
Anyway so I guess the girl was crying in the lobby and when my girlfriend told me about what happened, I instantly recognized who she was talking about.
I told my girlfriend that I really wish she hadn’t done that because I didn’t want it to somehow seem like I, by relation, was taking sides against my boss, especially considering that this girl was the one who started the whole conflict.
My girlfriend says that regardless, it’s “empathetic” to still try to comfort her then. Even once I’ve explained everything, she still doesn’t think she did anything wrong. She said I’m being really cold about this. Am I the wrong one? ###### | YTA how would your gf had known any situation that is going on in your office? She was being empathetic.
Also what is the frequency of your boss asking this coworker to get him tea bags vs. Everyone else? Honestly she may have felt like it wasn’t her job to do it, especially if it’s not and she was fed up? ###### |
I live in a house with a park nearby. I am pregnant, so I am considered high risk so we barely leave the house, and when we do we leave at non-peak times (either before 9am or after 7pm). I and my husband have a four-year-old, who is a very high energy kid, and my husband is teaching her how to cycle using stabilisers.
Me and my husband went out in the early morning today. She was cycling, and we followed her from about 5m behind. The path was really clear, so it would be easy to get to her. She went over a rock, and fell off the bike. We immediately ran towards her (well, i waddled quickly) Unbeknownst to us, behind the tree that she fell near, there were a mother and a daughter (about 10ish) who were doing yoga. The girl saw my daughter fall and automatically picked her up, before we got there, and held her.
I was scared and instinctively yelled 'Let go of my daughter, do you not know about social distancing! I'm pregnant, and if you had the virus and didn't know it, you could hurt me or my babies.' The kid cried, which was more than I was expecting, and the mother started screaming at me about being ungrateful for 'her angel' saving my daughter and negligent (ffs we were literally a couple of seconds away, but that girl was closer and had some really quick reflexes). I fired back telling her that I would appreciate the gesture if we weren't in a pandemic and that she should teach her kid about social distancing.
We went home immediately and my husband gave my daughter a bath. She was a bit scared from the fall, but cheered up quickly. My husband thought that I was a little strict towards the little girl as she was trying to be nice, but considering I'm high risk I was somewhat justified. AITA? ###### | YTA how the hell do you have to be told you’re the asshole after yelling at a young child?
I hope you’re embarrassed. ###### |
The title probably screams NTA, but before you judge him hear my story.
I (f24) cook dinner for my boyfriend (m26) almost every night and he does the dishes, so we have a good system going. I usually try to make something that we can both enjoy, but I have one dish that I love eating and used to make a lot before we moved in together, which he doesn't like because it contains a lot of garlic.
It's been a year or so since I last made the dish and I was really craving it. So I told him I would be making it tonight even though I know he doesn't like it. I also told him that if he didn't want any he could make himself an omelet, since I don't really like them and he sometimes wants it for dinner.
However now he has announced that he is going to buy a pizza, and I don't know, I know this is such a petty thing to get annoyed over, but I can't help but feel like my cooking isn't really needed. But I did tell him that it was okay for him to make something else, but I was expecting it to be something I don't enjoy as much.
Link if anyone is curious about the dish: [https://www.bingingwithbabish.com/recipes/2017/5/4/aglioeolio](https://www.bingingwithbabish.com/recipes/2017/5/4/aglioeolio) ###### | Yta honey, I don't see the issue. You get to make something you like and he eats something he likes. It's just one dish he doesn't like and he doesn't feel also cooking. ###### |
My girlfriend and I have been together since we were 13 (we’re 20 now), and she’s had her cat for the duration of our relationship. I’m gonna go ahead and say this now: I don’t care for cats since I’m allergic to them and hers was no exception. I’m not really an animal person in general, but if I were to get one it wouldn’t be a cat. They’re disgusting and they creep me out.
My girlfriend and I moved in together at 18, and I was always under the impression that she would leave the cat with her parents since she knew how much I didn’t like them. Long story short the cat came with her and while I wasn’t thrilled about it, I allowed it to stay under the conditions that it wouldn’t sleep in our bed, it wouldn’t sit on the furniture, and it wouldn’t go into my office space.
Over the course of the last two years, I would come home from work and my girlfriend would be chilling on the couch with the cat after I’d asked her not to. I’d get ready to climb into bed and there’d be cat hair on my sheets so I know she let it into the bedroom. Not to mention, she has what I feel like is an unhealthy obsession with this thing. She’s constantly talking to and cooing at it like it’s a person and it drives me up a wall. For a while, I just slept in my office so I wouldn’t have to deal with an itchy face and puffy eyeballs.
With us being stuck at home now, it’s even harder for me to have my own space. The straw that broke the camels back was when I went into my office and found her cat sitting in the window. I’ve asked time and time again for her cat to stay out of my space and I feel like she deliberately disrespects my wishes, so I found a walk-in surrender shelter today and dropped the cat off. I haven’t told my girlfriend, and being that it’s an indoor/outdoor cat I hope she just thinks it ran away. I love my girlfriend, but her cat was legitimately our only source of conflict. ###### | YTA holy shit. There's really no justification for your actions. ###### |
Hi guys, I'm new to Reddit because I follow this subs Twitter account, and I wanted your opinion on this.
My (30F) half-sister (28F, let's call her Ava) was born from an affair. We found out about her when I was 10 because her mom died and there was no one to care for her, so the government came looking for my dad. He wanted to put her up for adoption, but my aunt and uncle volunteered to take her in. He was supposed to pay them child support, but he never did. He only paid child support to my mom after she divorced him.
My mother died when I was 19, and my father when I was 21. He didn't have much in terms of assets after he died, but he did have a life insurance policy in my name that only I was supposed to know about. He got it after I turned 18 because he wanted to make sure to leave something behind for me. I used the money to pay for my dream wedding and buy our first house, and then I used the rest to make a few investments, one of which paid off better than I could ever have hoped. I now own three rental properties and run a doggie daycare. I'm very lucky.
Ava, however, not so much. My aunt and uncle did their best to make us friends, but we never got along because she was always jealous of me and would call me spoiled. The last time I talked to her was at my wedding. Apparently my grandpa knew about the life insurance policy and spilled the beans to Ava, because she stormed out of my reception. We haven't spoken since - until last week.
Ava sent me a DM saying that my nephew (7M) got burned really badly in a house fire at his friend's house. He needs several surgeries, and Ava can't afford it because her insurance will only cover what they don't consider "cosmetic". She asked me if I could loan her the money, and I flat out told her no. I don't even know this kid, and Ava hates my guts! I think she's just greedy, but my grandparents think I should help her, not for her sake, but for the kid. AITA?
Edited for typo ###### | YTA here OP. You say that you're "very lucky" compared to her. In a sense that's very true - because you had everything given to you. Your sister, at age 8, lost her mother and had a father who wanted nothing to do with her. He didn't pay any child support and when he died gave her absolutely nothing. You got enough money for a dream wedding, a house, and further investments. Yeah, no wonder you're in a better financial position than her.
You say you think that she's 'greedy'? Of all the things you could say about her, you choose greedy? She's not asking for a gift, and she's not even asking for herself. She's asking for a loan so that her child can get surgery after being severely burned. That's about as far from greedy as I can imagine.
Your father is TA for treating the two of you so differently, but you're TA for continuing that treatment. ###### |
My (26F) BF (27m) wasn't feeling well this morning and I woke up to him getting sick at 7am.
He was being really loud, and I was alarmed when I woke up. I got him water and reminded him to clean up after himself. I emphasised taps and handles. He got back in the bed a few minutes later and went to sleep.
The smell was still really bad, but I assumed it was because I have a pretty sensitive nose. However, when I went past the bathroom, I could smell no bleach or cleaning products, all of which are in there.
I asked him did he clean, and he said he had poured bleach in the toilet and wiped the rim. However, when I pushed he advised he had just flushed the bleach and hadn't cleaned the taps or handles either.
I'm compromised and working from home atm, and my job is precarious right now, so I can't afford to get sick.
AITA for getting annoyed and telling him he needs to do the job properly even while his sick?
TL;DR
BF was sick and then didn't clean the bathroom. AITA for giving out about this and telling him to do it properly when I'm compromised. ###### | YTA he’s sick. Just grab a Clorox wipe and do it yourself. You are supposed to care for the people you love. If your first thought when he’s sick is that he has to clean up after himself, then you are definitely the asshole. ###### |
My (26F) BF (27m) wasn't feeling well this morning and I woke up to him getting sick at 7am.
He was being really loud, and I was alarmed when I woke up. I got him water and reminded him to clean up after himself. I emphasised taps and handles. He got back in the bed a few minutes later and went to sleep.
The smell was still really bad, but I assumed it was because I have a pretty sensitive nose. However, when I went past the bathroom, I could smell no bleach or cleaning products, all of which are in there.
I asked him did he clean, and he said he had poured bleach in the toilet and wiped the rim. However, when I pushed he advised he had just flushed the bleach and hadn't cleaned the taps or handles either.
I'm compromised and working from home atm, and my job is precarious right now, so I can't afford to get sick.
AITA for getting annoyed and telling him he needs to do the job properly even while his sick?
TL;DR
BF was sick and then didn't clean the bathroom. AITA for giving out about this and telling him to do it properly when I'm compromised. ###### | YTA he’s sick, and did an ok job of cleaning up. If he has noro he’s probably weak, shaky, and sweating. Even the smell of cleaning products can turn your stomach in that situation.
Not a lot of sympathy in you huh? I’m sure he appreciates it. ###### |
Me(25f) and my bf(27m) live together.
Lately he's been watching this anime show called re: zero. At first I was curious to see what it was about but I find out that his favorite characters are extremely sexualized maids.
I ask why he's watching a show that has characters like that. He says that I have no right to dictate what he watches. AITA ###### | YTA He's right. You have no right to dictate what he watches as long as he doesn't have an unhealthy obsession with it. Stop being so controlling. ###### |
I'm f24 my bf is 23 and we've been together for 3 years, he got into a car accident 3 weeks ago and broke both his legs and his right arm. He will make a full recovery and there was no other damage other then some cracked ribs.
Because of this since he's been home I've been taking care of him, and making him 3 meals a day getting him beer etc. But I am sick of it, I don't really like cooking but he can barely move so I have to for the time being. Before this we would take turns cooking and it was a lot more manageable and fun.
He asked me what was for dinner last night after I made him breakfast and lunch and I told him just to order uber eats because I don't feel like cooking he said he'd rather not waste money since we bought groceries and he's gonna need me to go down to the lobby of our condo and get it for him. I kinda just told him to figure it out for himself he's 23 not a kid and I told him I don't want to cook as much anymore so he needs to figure something else out. He called me an asshole and a bitch.
AITA? ###### | YTA He is badly injured and cannot take care of himself. I understand it’s a lot to do, but, if you actually love him then you should want to do it. If you don’t want to maybe ask yourself if you do love him? ###### |
So i'm a "vampire" (m15), and i'm friends with this girl from school (f15) and since we can't se eachother at school anymore, we talk via facebook.
I am very naturally pale and have colored my hair since age 12, and i mostly go out at night.
We were talking one day via facetime, and was asking me questions. She suddenly asked me "could i become a vampire myself?" and explained she also is a outsider and prefer being outside at night and loves goth music. Now, she's VERY dark and has a natural afro. I explained that vampires are usually pale and have long, straight black hair so not really. She got sad and her dad called me later and told me to apologize to her.
AITA? was i mean or racist? ###### | YTA Go watch the blade series and tell me black people cant be vampires ###### |
I've \[M29\] known this person \[F32\] since 2004. That would make me 14. We live in different countries, so our friendship has been always via technology. Back at 2004 even the most basic webcam was a luxury and only few had it. Now it's 2020 and videocalls and streaming is within the reach of almost everyone, and hence you can include your loved ones in almost everything, now doubly so in times of corona where nobody can get out of their homes.
She got married last year to her long time partner. Had a long list of local only guests. I asked her if I was invited, if I could be, via anything from a private videocall or maybe something like an Instagram live that only those in CLOSE FRIENDS category could see. I mean, I had known her for what's basically half my entire lifespan.
I was told no. There would be no streaming of the wedding, but there would be pictures I could watch.
I was furious at hearing that. Sure it's her wedding and she's free to choose whatever. But in a world where you can have zoom, Discord, Facebook, Google Meet calls for everything, and for a while I attended nonprofit meetings via videocall because they cared about my presence there, to basically shut out all the options I could be there with, made me feel like a second-class friendship.
I have not spoken one word to her since, for any reason. I have made so many friends via technology, that for me it's a NO BRAINER to include them in a hugely important event in my life, and as such I'd do EVERYTHING I could to accomodate their presence via technology JUST as much as I would local ones.
Her, however? She can have pictures. ###### | YTA geez what an entitled post. So because you can’t be there in person you expect her to make her wedding revolve entirely on you being able to video call in? No. Just no. It’s an added hassle on an already busy day, sorry you can’t be there but that’s not her fault. ###### |
My son is 17 years old and over the past few months he's been acting very peculiar and we came to blows over this and he spoke back to me saying that they're not his fault and he doesn't know how to do. Here is what I noticed from him
* He's suddenly gone very lethargic very quickly. He'll get up, sit on his chair for about an hour and be that tired that he'll sleep for another 3 or 4 hours but will still be awake all night long. I've suggested for him to go on walks as simple but effective exercise that will tire him out so he'll sleep at least 6 to 8 hours at night. He declines because he's tired
* He's stopped eating. This concerned me, he says that it's because he has zero appetite. I tried to make sure he was eating right when I first noticed this back around last December time. He has obviously thinned out beyond belief (you can see an uncomfortable number of bones). I also believe that this might be why he's tired all day
* He drinks literally all the liquid I buy from my food shop and then some. Like, he'll say he's that thirsty and has a really dry throat when he drinks a two litre bottle of Coke in literally two or three attempts. A literal sip for him is essentially drinking a full pint
* He complains about having to go toilet more often. I told him that this was because of the amount that he drinks. We had to stop twice when I was in the car with him the other day, the distance wasn't even two miles
Is me telling him that he needs to help himself worthy of me being TA? (made a new account for this post) ###### | YTA Fucking take him to a doctor Jesus Christ ###### |
Before I start, I just want to say my gf is beautiful. Since quarantine, she started working out at home. She also changed her diet. She lost some weight but she’s also been toner. Especially around her ass and wait. I’ve complimented her at first but now she’s getting a bit cocky. All she talks about is working out and eating. She talks about how much she can squat and how good she’s feeling. She does this constantly and it’s getting a bit boring and annoying. I dated a smart girl who spoke way more than her appearance and her fitness stuff. I told her that it’s good that she’s working out but she isn’t as hot as she thinks she is and that it would be better if she went back to her old habits. She always had a nice body. She didn’t need to work out. The results of working out has led to her being annoying so the results of a tad smaller waist isn’t worth this. She sounds like a meat head now. ###### | YTA for trying to manipulate her to get what *you* want rather than addressing the issue with her like a mature adult.
She is smart and hot. You two have nothing in common. ###### |
Throaway acc.
I was very badly verbally abused as a kid which made me have some kind of trigger to being talked to a certain way. I'm not upset at criticism at all or anything that isn't rude but sarcasm and being rude as a joke sets me off. I always have given people warnings that I don't like to be talked down to, even as a joke.
Usually people understand. However, sometimes I will go over to a friend's house and their siblings will be in the "its cool of me to be playfully rude and say fuck a lot" phases. I let their siblings know too and they seem to understand until they do it. One of my friend's brothers (19) said something along the lines of: "My god, how can you make that mistake? You're so fuckin dumb" during a video game and I snapped. I told him that if he ever calls me dumb or anything of the sort ever again I will make him regret or something like that. He looked scared and I feel bad. It happens a lot when people flippantly say rude stuff they don't get is rude. I feel like an asshole because its hard for me to control this kind of response when people talk to me like that. ###### | YTA for threatening him. You said you where badly verbally abused as a kid but you pretty much just verbally abused this guy. ###### |
My son and DIL got married this year and they are expecting a little boy in November around Thanksgiving. She has three kids from a previous marriage a set of twins 5, and a 2 1/2 year old. My son has always wanted to have a farm and this April they bought a bunch of animals that they have been taking care of.
Well my son has worked full time at a job and he also has his own business that he works at on his days off. Very hardworking man. His wife used to work at a university but has been laid off since March. Her only income has been child support that she uses to be her kids things and groceries and occasionally the animal feed. She pays for no other bills, my son does. She also is a rather plain Jane as she doesn’t even wear makeup or wear nice clothes just a t shirt and maternity jeans.
Well she was supposed to go back to work next month so I was having dinner with them at their home and asked about childcare for the kids. She then informs me that since they have been fine while she has been off work that she won’t be going back and will be homeschooling the 5 year olds and that the baby was due in November and that my son wants her to stay home and care for the baby instead of a stranger.
My son is sweet man but he is easily manipulated and I feel that’s what she is doing. When my son left the room I told her that she needed to go back to work and pull her own and her kids weight and that my son shouldn’t have to support her and her kids as they weren’t his and for her to stop using him for her own personal gain. She began to cry and went upstairs. My son came down and asked me what I said and he told me that they both talked about this and made a decision and I was out of line. He asked me to leave. His own mother. My husband told me that I need to go over there and apologize but I stand by what I said. AITA? ###### | YTA for this:
> She also is a rather plain Jane as she doesn’t even wear makeup or wear nice clothes just a t shirt and maternity jeans.
YTA for this, too:
> When my son left the room I told her that she needed to go back to work and pull her own and her kids weight and that my son shouldn’t have to support her and her kids as they weren’t his and for her to stop using him for her own personal gain.
If you had these hesitations, it would have been best to bring it up with your sun.
You *were* out of line. you accused DIL of using your son.
Your son is an adult and can make his own decisions. Bring up hesitations to him, but accept if he doesn't accept your advice. ###### |
Throwaway due to friend following my account
So me (F30) and my boyfriend (M32) have found out we’re expecting our first baby. We couldn’t wait to tell everyone, but waiting until the 12 week mark to tell our friends and family.
So we hit the 12 week mark with zero problems. We tell our parents who are absolutely ecstatic and I decide to tell my 3 friends via zoom call on Friday night. I call them and we’re chatting so I decide to tell them my news. All three of them look incredibly happy for me and while two of my friends were asking me questions one of my friends (we’ll call her beth) suddenly shut off her camera.
My friends and I kept chatting and I just brushed it off that she went to the toilet or something. But when she came back, she was sniffing and looked like she had been crying. One of my friends asked her if she was ok and she said she was. Suddenly all of them were asking Beth if she was alright, even though she was insisting she was fine.
To be honest, I was getting annoyed with her because of it. She has been struggling with fertility issues since she was 19 (now 30) and it was like she was making my news all about her. It felt like she was stealing my thunder, so I said to her “Look I get you’ve had fertility issues Beth but you don’t have to make everything about you”
She then logged off and my friends said i was being an asshole because I should be more sensitive to her needs. Frankly I think she should be more sensitive to mine as I’m the one who’s pregnant and who’s going through a life changing experience, not her.
It’s been a few days and Beth still hasn’t called to apologise, but my friends think I should. AITA? ###### | YTA for this sentence alone:
" I’m the one who’s pregnant and who’s going through a life changing experience, not her."
Sorry I didnt' realize having multiple miscarriages wasn't a life changing experience. ###### |
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