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So my sister (14) ALWAYS steals my (16F) clothes, like I swear every time I go into my closet or jewelry chest there is always something missing. Her friends who live next door, have a pool in their backyard and she is always over there swimming with them, for the longest time my parents didn't let her wear a 2 piece swim suit and she said that she looked like a 5 year old when she was the only one in a one piece. I never told her she could use mine (we are pretty much identical when it comes to size) but she would always steal my pairs ALL the time.
I don't know when but I guess they recently loosened up on the rules for her and she has bought her own 2 piece swim suits now. She came home the other day in a 2 piece suit that I KNOW I own, same style, same color and same design, I got pissed and told her to stop taking my shit. She told me that it was hers and to get off her ass, I didn't believe her and she told me that mom loosened up the restriction for her. I checked my closet and it was there but I was still kind of annoyed cause she bought the exact. same. pair. as the one I had and she had to know that I hate when she takes my clothes and I just see this as her trying to rile me up. She told me to apologize and I said that she shouldn’t be shocked when I accuse her of stealing when she doesn’t it all the time. AITA? ###### | YTA for this particular situation. Being accused of stealing when you're in fact innocent can be quite hurtful. Be a big sister and apologize. ###### |
My son (23) has a learning disability. He's great with jobs that involve cleaning, stocking and facing.
He previously had a care aid come 2x weekly. She had another job at a pet store. My son expressed interest in employment at this store and I asked her if she could discuss setting up a tour with her boss for him. I thought this would work great because she could drive him to work and he'd be more comfortable working if he knew someone.
She said no. Her excuse 'conflict of interest'.
She didn't last long. She said my son was making her 'uncomfortable' because of how he talks (uh, he has a learning disability). Certain comments made her feel 'harassed'.
Browsing online I found a hiring ad at this store. I instantly told my son to apply, because seeing as she no longer works with him it's not a 'conflict of interest'.
She still works there. I know this because I took my son in for an interview (yah!) and she walked away fuming the moment she spotted us.
My MIL and SIL both think I'm being unfair to this girl. If she's uncomfortable working with him before, it's going to happen again. But this is a different setting. She doesn't need to help him. And if she has such an issue she can quit again. ###### | YTA for that mentality of "If my son continues to make problems for her with his comments and making her feel uncomfortable, she can just quit again". Just comes off as assholeish knowing your son was the reason she quit and trying to force her hand/strong arm her out of her job where she has been first.
What comments did your son say that made her feel uncomfortable or harassed? Never mind, found them
"Sexually based, apparently. He spoke of his penis size, sexual history, porn addiction and again this is all alleged, ask her to have sex with him several times."
Super super YTA. Don't bring that nonsense back into the girls life again. She doesn't deserve to deal with that again.
EDIT. Thank you for the silver! ###### |
Okay to start off both my girlfriend and I are expecting a boy and we are 6 months in and we couldn't be more happy about her having her first child and me having my second boy. I love them all very much.
My girlfriend and I started a shouting match because she is barely eating I'd say like a quarter of a meal a day if I'm lucky and barely if any snacks in between. And she will always just shrug me off and tell me I don't know her body (which is true) but barely eating once a day is not healthy and even worse for a pregnant woman. Its been like this throughout all the pregnancy she has been heavily nauseus all the time. I am freaking out because the doctor already told us the baby seemed small and she HAD to gain weight or she'd have to go in the office.
I'm trying to reason with her on my lunch break I tell her like 30 mins before to look for whatever she wants I tell her I could buy her restaurant dishes for breakfast lunch and dinner she just needs to eat but she'll refuse and say the stress I'm inducing is far worse for the baby than not eating, and I've recognized this its been 2 months of me holding my tounge but today I we were having the same argument about how dangerous fasting is for a baby and even fasting has a full meal at the end of the day but my stress is much worse. I told her the baby could die if she didn't eat and if she wasn't prepared to be a mother and work past her comfort she should've had an abortion.
She immediately started to cry and how dare I say that. I told her to not nitpick what I told her and to look at the big picture which is a healthy baby but she didn't want to speak. And I'm expecting now she'll want me to apologize
So AITA for saying how dangerous her actions were and she shouldve had an abortion if she wasn't prepared? ###### | YTA for that comment and for the guilt trip. If she's heavily nauseous, that's probably why she's not eating -- in which case, telling her she's a bad person will not help the food stay down. Maybe try being constructive and helpful for a change, like finding out what her stomach will best tolerate and making things easy for her, since stress exacerbates nausea. ###### |
There’s some backstory here. I (20F) have been dating my boyfriend “Kase” for almost a year. We went to the same high school, but we weren’t really acquainted for reasons I’ll explain further down.
We were on video chat last night, and he made a remark about how he was bullied in high school for his lazy eye. It’s true that he has a lady eye, but it’s no big deal and not why he was bullied. I pointed this out to him.
In high school, my bf was a horrible neckbeard. He was overweight, had a horrible patchy moustache, and wore cartoon shirts all the time. He even had one of those —and I’m not joking — “orgasm donor” novelty tee shirts. He wrote a poem about a girl in our class and sharpied it onto the wall of the boys bathroom. He put in lots of identifying info, so it was easy for people to narrow it down who wrote it. Once he got over the poem girl, he asked a teacher out on a date, and the teacher had to tell him he was being inappropriate. Also, this teacher was a lesbian and dressed in butch style. He was just too oblivious to notice.
Anyway, I laid those facts out and he got angry. He said I was blaming the victim, and that the bullying wrecked his self worth. The bullying wasn’t serious, it was just people making fun of him on Snap and stuff. I said he should be proud of losing weight and learning to dress and talk to girls. In college he’s a totally different person, and I would never have matched with him otherwise.
He said he’d think about what I said, but we haven’t talked since. I’m worried I was harsh. AITA? ###### | YTA for telling him the bullying wasn't "serious" when hes telling you that it was. To him it ruined his self worth. You're telling him he deserved to be bullied and was in essence asking for it by acting like this and...not being skinny? Yes. He was cringey in high school so was everyone. Support him and stop victim blaming ###### |
So yea my gf has this really dumb friend who she had for like 7 years. She sometimes visits us and I have been avoiding her the last few times when my gf asked I told her straight and she was very upset and told me that it was very hurting to know how little I think to someone she adores so much.
Btw this girl is like the most boring and annoying girl I have ever seen but she is hot af so people’s constant attention and interest in her fed her ego and made her this empty shallow person ###### | YTA for talking about your girlfriend's best friend like that. You aren't going to like all of her friends, nor is she going to like all of your friends, but part of being in a relationship means getting along with the people in your partner's life. That doesn't mean that you have to be her best friend or hang out with her all the time, but grow up and show some respect. ###### |
So I am 19 Male. I am away from college but I am still financially dependent on my parents they pay for my college they pay for my car insurance my gas for my car and give me a month spending budget of 600 a month. Well when I found out that I wasn't getting a stimulus check because my mom claimed me on her taxes last year I called her to ask her why. She said because she still pay for everything for me. I tired to explain that I was also 18 at the end of the year. She asked why do I care if I was getting a stimulus check anyways I told my mom going to use to it buy non essentials since I am only allowed to spend the 600 on food clothes and things like that. She said that's not what the stimulus is for. I said it was still my money. When I asked my girlfriend(23F) about it she said I was being a spoiled brat. AITA? ###### | YTA for sure! She claimed you because you're still DEPENDENT on her! Thus it's her money not yours. It's not even a month's worth of Your expenses. ###### |
Bit of a long story but need to post here as we are both completely convinced we are not TA in this situation.
So I went to a rave recently with a group of friends and not my GF. About a week or two after this rave I get a message on Facebook from some random girl I’ve never met or seen asking if I was the guy from *name of rave*. I said yes, because I was there, and we kept chatting a bit until I realised she had mistaken me for someone she had met there and obviously taken home to sleep with after. At this point she was being really flirty but as I know for sure I wasn’t who she thought I was - and I saw my GF right after the rave so we all know that’s true - I thought I’d continue chatting as a joke. I wasn’t flirting too much back, but when she’d flirt with me I’d acknowledge it to keep the ruse going.
So this goes on slowly for a few weeks - Not all day every day so it’s not like we’re chatting constantly - and then one day my GF and I are together and she sees a message from this girl pop up and takes my phone and it just goes off from there.
She’s angry that I’ve apparently lied to this girl and she thinks I’m trying to trick this girl in to sex (she was saying we should meet up “again” but I wouldn’t have done that as I love my GF. I was going to block her soon after that anyway). I’m telling her exactly what I’ve just written but she doesn’t think it makes it any better. She says it’s gross that I’d let this girl think we’ve slept together and I must be getting something out of that when in reality it’s just like if you get a wrong number text and fool around with that person.
Anyway, I have never been unfaithful but I did flirt with girls online at the start of our relationship and I don’t think my GF has really gotten over that, and this is just that coming up again.
So AITA ?? ###### | YTA for stringing this girl along instead of correcting her mistake, and YTA for flirting with someone else behind your GF's back. ###### |
I fly a good amount, and especially now as airlines barely offer peanuts to their passengers anymore, I prefer to bring my own food onto the airplane. For years now, I love grabbing to-go food from any of my favorite local restaurants, lugging it through security and waiting to eat the meal on the airplane. Usually I get a simple sandwich, but some of the other items i've enjoyed at 30,000 ft include Thai, Mexican, Persian of course, salads, hoagies, In-n-Out burgers and most recently Greek food.
My girlfriend that recently accompanied me while traveling while I had a Greek gyro, and said I was a total A-hole for bringing any kind of smelly food into an enclosed space, especially when others around me don't have the option of eating it. My argument is that the lack of options at the airport and the exceptionally high price of any food or beverage at the airport should encourage everyone to pack a meal for themselves for their journey.
So let's see if my girlfriends right or not.... AITA? ###### | YTA for stinky food on a plane, but YTA for not realising that the air hostess has to agree with you - she can't be seen criticising the actions of a passenger who isn't being openly disruptive (just obnoxious). ###### |
Throwaway as step daughter uses Reddit
I have a family of 5. Two sons one wife and my step daughter. Over the last year or so my family has been using Netflix less and less as Netflix is getting rid of our favorite content.
This month only step daughter used Netflix. So I decided since there where new streaming services i picked out three and the family where going to vote which two we where going to keep.
The three services where HBO max and Disney plus and Netflix. Each person got two votes. So after dinner we voted and HBO max and Disney plus won. I decided to cancel Netflix. My step daughter yelled at me canceling Netflix saying she uses it. I told my step daughter we voted on the services and Netflix lost. My step daughter was the only one who voted for Netflix.
My step daughter was angry. I then told my step daughter if she wants Netflix she is going to have to use her own for the service otherwise she can find something to watch on HBO max and Disney plus. My step daughter became mad and yelled at me for favoring my sons choices over her she also started screaming at me. So then I grounded my step daughter.
(my wife agrees with me for grounding my step daughter)My step daughter since today morning has not talked to me. SO now I am wondering if I am the asshole for cancelling Netflix and telling my step daughter if she wants it she has to pay it with her own money.
(my step daughter is 17 and my two sons are 14) ###### | YTA for setting up a vote you knew she would lose. If you said hey, we're getting rid of Netflix because x y z, fine. But you knew she was the only one watching it and deliberately picked only two other services beyond that one and said you would only have two services, setting her up to lose.
THAT part feels like a dick move. ###### |
The title sounds really vulgar but my ”stepmom” is 29 and she has always tried to boss me around and still at 18 does it and I have had enough.
Today I just couldn’t take it anymore when she tried to make me come eat lunch even though I wasn’t hungry. She insisted like I was a 5 year old.
I snapped and told her to fucking leave me alone and suck my dad’s dick. She just left me alone crying. ###### | YTA for saying that to anyone. You've given no examples that warrant that reaction. ###### |
Okay, so this was kind of in response to a "trying to feed a cat vegan" post, and someone mentioned rabbits; it reminded me of an interaction I had the other day. My friend said she got two rabbits as pets and sent pictures... The cages are small, for starters. I didn't really know what to say about them because I don't get the whole "keeping rabbits as pets" thing. I grew up on a farm way down south, the "pets" we had were dogs (because sheep etc) and rabbits were considered pests and/or food. (yes, we were local hunters, yes we used 100% of the animals, yes we obeyed population and seasonal laws) but my friend absolutely lost her mind saying you can't eat pets, it's sick, yadda yadda yadda. I stand by what I believe and I didn't say anything rude, just "I don't see them as pets, just food."
AITA for saying I consider rabbits food and not pets? ###### | YTA for saying it to someone who was sharing her pets with you via pictures. If it had been said in a conversation about food in general no. ###### |
My grandmother is 90 this year.
I'm 34 and SIL is 30.
My SIL visits my grandmother with her children and my brother three times a week, I visit as much as possible which is usually three times a month but we usually Skype or call at least twice a week, I live further away so it just isnt possible for me to visit as frequently.
My SIL has always been very involved with the family, my brother has always tried to make everyone include her since she was adopted and her adopted family went no contact with her (they had a child of their own not too long after adopting her)
I personally think sometimes SIL is overly involved, she's not actually family.
Apparently my grandmothers care worker asked her work to phone family to talk to my grandmother, apparently she was getting emotional when care worker went to leave because obviously nobody has been visiting as much.
Apparently instead of me being contacted (they have my number and brothers number) they contacted my brother despite me saying contact him only in emergencies if I'm not available.
SIL apparently spent 2 hours on the phone and only told me since grandma had asked where I was.
It's not like I'm low contact, I've specified to contact ME, SIL isnt actually her family and should've passed the message to call to me.
I called them up and complained as I should've been informed, not her.
My husband thinks I'm being pety but I think it was unprofessional on the care workers part and especially so on her boss.
Apparently I'm an AH for overreacting I don't think I overreacted and I'm actually considering changing her carer because I'm concerned about what else I'm not being informed about.
AITA ? ###### | YTA for repeatedly saying your SIL is "not actually family" when she clearly is. What's your issue with her? ###### |
Two of my daughters are getting married on the same day (I know smh). The older one thought the younger one did it to be malicious, but we've since confirmed that the wedding hall that the younger one wants to get married at only had a limited amount of slots, and that the next available slot is almost a year later unless someone cancels.
On top of that, they're getting married on separate sides of the country!
My husband and I decided we would each go to one of their weddings, but now both of them upset, because my older daughter wants me at *her* wedding, and my younger daughter wants her father to walk her down the aisle.
Okay, fine. We'll switch!
Nope! My younger daughter wants me at *her* wedding, and my older daughter wants her father to walk her down the aisle!
I'm about ready to throw my hands up!
I was on threeway with my daughters this morning, and they were bickering so much I just got fed up and said that I wasn't going to either wedding and hung up!
I felt bad about it a little later, but I honestly think this is the best solution if they can't be adults and decide this amongst themselves reasonably. ###### | YTA for punishing your older daughter for the actions of her sister.
Your older daughter had her wedding planned first, and now because her younger sister thoughtlessly picked the same date, your older daughter is being punished by you not attending. I would never forgive my parents or my sister for that betrayal. ###### |
Seriously, what is up with validation posts recently? The entire front page is full of them. You can see them from their title. For example : AITA for cutting of my wife's liquor consuption while pregnant? WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK? ARE YOU AN ASSHOLE FOR WANTING YOUR UNBORN TO BE HEALTHY? Another one: AITA for refusing to give my parents money? Are you seriously asking that?
Please mods do something about this, i actually want to judge people for something else than asking for validation. ###### | YTA for not using meta tags ###### |
I am a very deep sleeper. I have always been this way, and my wife knows this. When our daughter cries at night I never hear her. My wife knows this too.
I have told her many times to please wake me up so I can feed her and take care of her so my wife get some sleep, but my wife refuses to wake me up. Instead she will feed her and then get mad at me the next day for "not helping her," even though she knows I did not wake up. I think sometimes she does not believe that I am really asleep despite seeing me sleep through thunderstorms that made the whole house shake.
I get tired of always being the bad guy for something I can't help, so I finally told my wife that she has no right to complain and fuss at me when she knows (a) I can't help this, (b) I have asked her to wake me, and (c) she refuses. I told her she needed to stop complaining about this unless she starts waking me. Otherwise she is not being reasonable and has no one but herself to blame for "not being helped."
A couple friends think I should not have told her this, but I don't know what she really expects when she knows I don't hear our daughter cry. I have told her that maybe if she brought her into our room I might wake up, but she doesn't want her to sleep in our bedroom.
AITA? ###### | YTA for not trying to find a solution. 2 seconds of googling found me wearable and vibrating baby monitors for deaf people. http://thedeafmama.com/equipment-lists/baby-monitors/
I’m sure there are even more solutions out there. Another option is you and your wife shift sleep so you go to bed early wake up early so you’ll be awake for the feedings. ###### |
I have a 6 year old yorkiepoo who is, in my opinion, the cutest thing in the world. I used to only dress him for weather, like a jacket and boots if it was cold and a thunder shirt to help him with anxiety during storms, but I noticed that he seemed to really like the clothes I put on him. He would wag his tail and get excited when I took them out and he would pull away when I tried to take his coat off, so I started dressing him in little outfits pretty often. If he cried or seemed upset about it I wouldn't, but he seems to like it some days and other days he seems pretty apathetic and unbothered by it, and I think it's cute. He even waits by his basket of clothes in the morning for me to pick out an outfit for him.
My partner doesn't like that I dress the dog up. He thinks it makes me look like a "crazy dog person" and like "one of those high maintenance people who treat their dogs like accessories." People around town also know that we are partners, so my partner worries that people will think this about them by association. My partner told me I need to stop dressing my dog up but I said no. I think my partner is overreacting and it isn't fair to make this demand. AITA for continuing to dress up the dog even if my partner told me not to? ###### | YTA for not posting a picture of your doggie. ###### |
So, I've been living with her for almost 4 months now and recently I started to have issues about my personal space being invaded while I'm working.
Last time it happened I had to make an evaluation online and she didn't stop trying to be all over me or in front of the pc screen so, obviously, I told her to go into her room and let me alone because this was something important and I didn't wanted to be bothered.
She left, I closed her door and could hear inside of her room, making angry sounds and throwing stuff.
I have to be honest, I really like to have her around me and cuddle together but not all times, I really need my space sometimes and just can't let her crawl all over myself just because she feels cold or unattended.
So, AITA for don't let her do what she wants? I know it's just a cat but she's really upset with me. ###### | YTA for not paying the cat picture tax. ###### |
Okay so immediately that title makes me look like a total fucking douche, but let me elaborate.
My friend Charlie and I recently rekindled our friendship, among rekindling our entire high school friend group, after the group broke up and went no contact for roughly 8 months. The group consisted of about twenty people and went strong from Freshman year until just before Senior year, so about 3 years.
Anyway, while conversing with everyone one on one and rebuilding connections with different people, it comes up that one of my closest friends from those days, Charlie, has been voicing that I owe him $400 fucking dollars in GAS MONEY from the days when he’d drive me and other friends in his car, like sophomore year, so ya know, 2 years ago. He literally wants money for actions that he never asked money for. Not one time in our friendship or in our endeavors did he ever mention wanting gas money or any type of payment.
And it’s not like we were just using this dude for rides; for reference, Charlie and I used to have a system where every time we went out to eat, we’d take turns paying for each other’s meal. It was just a cool courtesy tradition thing, and neither of us thought much of it. Charlie was one of my best friends, but this is ridiculous.
If I genuinely felt I owed him $400, I’d pay him no question. But I do not believe I owe him a fucking dime. He offered to be the one behind the wheel all those times, despite other friends of ours also having cars and licenses. Frankly, this sounds like a cash grab for absolutely no reason.
And yes, he is completely dead serious and has voiced this directly to my face as well. He refuses to move forward until I pay him. He doesn’t want payment from the other friends he also drove around, literally just me.
So, AITA? ###### | YTA for not offering to pay for gas ###### |
So I'm 17. I've known my adoptive parents most of my life but they've only been "officially" my parents for about 2-3 years. Before that they were friends of our foster parents and adopted us after they died.
My moms (E and A) got divorced about 3 months ago. It wasn't messy, just two people who no longer really worked as a couple. They're still friends, sort of.
Anyways fast forward three months and E is a terrible parent without A there to help and A is a significantly better parent when not held back by E's incompetence.
If I need somebody to talk to, I'm going to A not E because A will actually listen and give advice/validation/call me out. E will tell me she's busy and to go ask A.
It used to be A handled a lot of the "having a relationship with your child" things and E was just there to have panic attacks when she walks in on me and my boyfriend having sex without knocking.
Oh and she cooked decently well. A can't cook to save her life.
Anyways, I'm graduating soon in a park and we can only have three guests. It was originally two but the school decided we could do three? So I chose A, my boyfriend, and my sister.
E asked when my graduation was and I told her I didn't invite her and not to come. She was pretty hurt actually, which wasn't my intention, I just have an actual relationship with my three guests and she's just that person who houses me every other week.
She's not a bad parent, she's just not very approachable as a parent because she'll just have a panic attack or tell me she's busy or to ask someone else.
So AITA? ###### | YTA for not explaining why she couldn't come. You could've told her about the guest limitation but you chose to hurt her feelings by saying "you're not invited". She seems to care about you, even if you teo never managed to establish a meaningful connection ###### |
I have four sons, ranging in age from twelve to five. My wife died four years ago and I've been dating my girlfriend for about five months now.
There have been multiple times now where one of my children have gone up to her, trying to show her something or asking to watch a television show with her or something along those lines, and she just rebuffs them. For an example, my ten year old is very interested in cooking, and so is my girlfriend, so I brought up then maybe watching a cooking show together or trying to cook something simple. Her response? "He's too young to be into cooking."
My youngest is very hyperactive and has some learning issues. Recently, I taught him how to read a page in his favorite book and he tried to show my girlfriend because he was really proud of it. She refused to look at it and said "I don't want to see your stupid book."
A week ago, I took her aside and said that she wasn't attempting to make a connection with any of them, and we cannot move foward in our relationship if they didn't have a friendship of some sort. I said early on that she didn't have to be a mother, but she had to be nice and at least try and show some interest in them. She replied that "They were too immature to spend time with."
Let me make it clear that my two eldest are very mature and responsible for their age. My seven year old has his moments of immaturity and my youngest is hopeless in that area, but each and every one of them have tried to interact and every time, she refused and rebuffs.
But, apparently, my statement was harsh and she had been very cold and distant. She told me earlier that I had hurt her feelings by not seeing that she was making attempts to be their friend. ###### | YTA for not dumping someone who’s mean to your kids ###### |
Me and my wife have been having an ongoing feud with our neighbors - they have a very large and obnoxious dog that howls into all hours of the night (We will be moving into a new house very soon, but are currently living in a townhouse beside them.)
Ever since our fat neighbor (37F) lost a bunch of weight, she has been having a mid life crisis and has been going out to the club almost daily, trying re live her 20's and maybe lure a new man to take care of her - which is fine, but the dog is left neglected and at home, whining and howling at all hours of the night. This continues, even in spite of my repeated conversations with her about it, trying to handle things nicely.
One night when the dog was being particularly loud, I decided to "woof" back at the wall - and sure enough, the dog became more excited and began to bark even louder. I decided that I would teach my neighbor a lesson and have been barking through the wall each morning at 3-4Am (When I know my neighbor will be drunk and hung over) in an attempt to entice the dog into barking loudly - I have woken my neighbor up at least 3 times over the last couple of weeks using this method.
Am I the ass hole? It feels justified to me, because I'm just giving her a taste of what I've been having to deal with - and besides, her lazy ass should be getting up at a decent hour anyway, not getting hammered at the club until 12am and then being a dangerous driver on the way to work in the morning. ###### | YTA for not calling the RSPCA/ humane society/ whatever it is in your country to check on a neglected dog. Your concern is revenge and it should be animal welfare. ###### |
I (28F) bought my niece (14F) an iPhone for her birthday. My sister and her daughter are not the most affluent. (I'd say they're about lower-middle class.) This past weekend was my niece Bethany's 14th birthday and she's never had a smartphone. She has always told me she feels left out from her friends when they tell ask her for her phone number, Instagram, etc and she can't give them an answer. So I thought this year for her birthday would be a perfect opportunity to buy her a phone since I figured she was bored in quarantine.
Me and my husband (33M) are pretty well off, he's an attorney and I own a small bakery. So we have extra cash to splurge on nice things. My sister on the other hand, (30F) had her daughter at a young age and the father is out of the picture, so she struggles a bit in terms of finances. So I thought I would do a favor for her and her daughter Bethany by purchasing an iPhone 10 for her. It's not the latest model but she still appreciated it.
On Saturday it was her birthday and she had a drive-by type party. I had wrapped her gift and attached a birthday card to it, and handed it to her out of the window. We went home and about 3ish hours later my sister calls me and chews me out about giving her daughter the gift, saying I was trying to "one-up" her and that I was being "insensitive" about their situation. In my eyes I was just doing a nice thing for my sisters and niece. AITA? ###### | YTA for not asking first. There are a lot of ways a gift like this can go wrong, whether it's the mom feeling one-upped or like her child will be given expectations she can't fulfill, or the financial implications for phone plans and data usage, or the question of whether the mom wants her child to have continual access to every distraction and hazard on the Internet. I'm not saying that a 14-year-old shouldn't have a phone, but that's something that parents can legitimately have concerns about, both in general and for a specific kid for specific reasons. I don't think a phone is in a "never give as a present" category, but I think it's definitely in a "talk with the parents first" category. ###### |
A bit of context: Most food shops are closed. My bf and I don't live together but he visits me every night.
Last night I told my bf about a bakery that's still open with my favorite types of cakes and asked him to come by and buy me some when getting off work. He agreed.
This morning when he was at work I sent him a facebook post of the bakery showing their menus, address and current working hours without saying much. He replied 'okay i'll get some' and then after a few minutes followed with 'that's it? You just threw out a link without saying anything?'. I was confused and said that I already told him about it last night and he was like 'For real? Not even a thank-you?'. I was so confused saying that he hasn't even gotten me those cakes yet and that it's weird to ASK for a thank-you like this. I have bought and made him stuff without expecting or asking him to show a ton of gratitude. But he is unswayed, saying that a 'thank-you' is minimum mannerism and I should have said that instead of just 'throwing' a link at him. I told him I don't want those cakes anymore.
I think this is too petty for him to get upset about. AITA?
Edit: too many people mentioned this so I just need to clarify: I probably don’t live in the same country as you. Our governments’ measures are different. We both make sure to have very limited contact with others besides each other.
Edit2: yeah DMing and harrassing me will end in a report. Ew to you. ###### | YTA for making two words more important than your boyfriend's feelings. Like goddamn. How many situations do you thank someone immediately after asking for a favour? Basically all situations. You don't thank them after it's done, you thank them when they agree to do you a favour. Its almost as if you care more about the cake then the fact your boyfriend is doing something for you. ###### |
My step brother and me have never gotten along. He's very opinionated (atheist, feminist, Marxist, lgbt, etc) and always makes his opinions known, usually causing massive drama at family gatherings. Mum says he has histrionic personality disorder. I'm not sure if that's her diagnosis or his psychologist's.
Anyway, I recently found out he refused to go to his cousin's wedding because it was religious. And I'm not a religious person, but my fiancé is. So I decided to tell my fiancé we should have a religious wedding. My fiancé is over the moon but I'm just trying to stop my step bro attending. Am I the asshole for that? ###### | YTA for making a petty grievance the basis of your wedding decisions. Your fiance deserves for you to be committed to the wedding and planning it with sincerity and enthusiasm, not malice toward a third party. ###### |
So around when my son was 10 or 11 I told my wife that I thought he would be gay when he was older. (Or was already gay I reckon since you are born with a sexuality.) She thought I was being ridiculous. Now I want to make sure I say, neither me and my wife are bigots, neither of us care at all if our kids are gay or straight. I just believed my son would be gay based on a lot of factors.
Finally she told me to drop it and I said okay okay, how about this? Let's bet on it. Bet $50. She kind of rolled her eyes and agreed to it.
Well lo and behold! Our son now 17 came out as gay a few days ago. First of all I am very happy for him that he came out, and of course we told him we love him and all that, but also I was over the moon that I had won the bet. After he went back to his room I just kind of looked at my wife expecting her reaction. She was like what? I was like so how about my $50 ha ha?
She had forgotten about the bet! She remembered it when I reminded her. She was just kind of like "oh brother" about it. She still has not paid me the $50. Now I know it might be silly but a bet is a bet. I asked her to pay up again this morning and she got really angry at me. We had a huge fight. It is causing a big interpersonal conflict between us.
AITA for wanting my $50? I mean, I called it. I deserve the money. ###### | YTA for making a bet on your child's sexuality and dragging your wife into it. Congrats, your son will face so many obstacles for being gay, but hey, your wife will give $50 thats essentially both your money anyways. ###### |
Ok so to begin this let's just call my mom and stepdad my parents because that's easier and almist correct anyway. My parents are in their 30s so it's not unexpected that they still do it.
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night at like 01 or something. I didn't check but it was late. I obviously got out of my room and while walking by my parents room our cat started scratching tveir door.
I opened it for the cat but the cat didn't wanna go and instead hesitated. The lights were out in their room but I did feel like something was off. Soon after I heard my stepdad saying: "Close the fucking and let me have some privacy to fuck my wife. You always stay up late and walk in so I don't have any privacy in my own room!"
I apologized and pushed the cat in with my foot and got the glass of water and went back to my room and to sleep. ###### | YTA for making 30s sound geriatric. Hell yeah we still fuck! ###### |
Yesterday, I was talking in a group chat and this one person who I would be friendly with started to text in homophobic slurs, saying 'all gays should be sent away' etc. These comments have been a recurring issue with this guy for years and he has seemed never to back down on them even after I and others condemn them.
Here's where it gets messy.
I sent the company he works for part-time an email asking them to have a conversation with him and included some screenshots of the slurs used. They fired him within hours. I didn't mean for him to get fired, only to have a conversation with him however I still have very little sympathy for him. He has texted back at me and is understandably very annoyed. Apparently, he had apologised to others but not me yet. Am I the asshole?
​
TLDR: Friend was homphobic so I emailed his employer who subsequently fired him. ###### | YTA for lying
> They fired him within hours. I didn't mean for him to get fired, only to have a conversation with him however I still have very little sympathy for him.
This is quite clearly untrue, you knew exactly what would happen as a result of what you did, don't try and pretend you didn't. People in this sub aren't stupid, don't treat them like they are ###### |
I'm the 33YO mother of two daughters, 8YO and 7YO. I have no problem with my children watching almost anything on Disney, Nick, and Boomerang, except I \*\*\*HATE\*\*\* a certain show about a sponge under the sea. I WILL NOT let my daughters watch it.
Apparently, 7YO has somehow been exposed to this painful cartoon and now that I won't let her watch it (no educational value, no morals, no real worth in the show, proven to actually cause issues with attention span, etc), she's currently in her room pouting and I'm needing some back up here.
AITA?
EDIT: After a half-hour of watching debate between NTA/YTA, I've decided to compromise. One episode per day, but she can't use the living room TV. ###### | YTA for letting your general dislike of the show cloud the reality of it. Spongebob is a show that can be annoying, yes, but straight up saying has no morals or lessons is blatantly wrong. It’s a show that consistently teaches that lying/stealing, judging people, trying to change yourself too much to fit in, etc... aren’t answers and that hard work and dedication are good things. ###### |
So because things are starting to open up, they’ve loosened the restrictions on gatherings in my country. To celebrate my brother recently graduating college, we decided to have a small barbecue.
We invited a few people who we knew took the quarantine seriously and probably weren’t sick, and one of them is vegan. We knew she was vegan but we told her when we invited her that there would be hamburgers and hot dogs.
Anyways, everybody came and everything went fine until we started eating. Our vegan friend brought her girlfriend with her as her plus one and her girlfriend began complaining that she was hungry. The problem is, she is vegan too. We didn’t have any fruits or vegetables in the kitchen, so we didn’t know what to do.
Her girlfriend got really mad at us and left without her partner because we didn’t provide her any food that she could eat. AITA for not providing anything? ###### | YTA for inviting someone to a BBQ without providing anything they can eat. ###### |
My daughter (16F) lives and works as an actress/ model in LA.
Our family home is in Colorado where my son and husband still live full time.
I’ve been going back and forth between home and LA in an effort to preserve my marriage but lately my husband and I have been fighting a lot. Yesterday night we had such a bad argument regarding our daughter’s career that my 14 year old son started crying.
Now our house is very tense. My husband slept in the guest room last night.
Meanwhile my daughter is in LA and sleeping over at her mentor’s house a lot. She’s been cast in minor role in a project. The director wants her to shoot promotional material this weekend.
Saturday happens to also be my son’s fifteenth birthday. However, from what I’ve been hearing a lot of kids are postponing their birthday celebrations for later. Meanwhile, my daughter does not have the pull to even dream of asking the director to move his schedule around for her.
My daughter is in good hands with her mentor, but her mentor’s group of friends party a lot so I feel that it would be best that I be there so that I make sure she is sufficiently prepared physically and mentally for her work day ahead.
I feel like my presence would eliminate distractions and I can help convey the director and photographer’s feedback on set if need be.
My husband has ignored most of what I’ve been saying since our fight, but when I brought up going to LA for the weekend he went ballistic. He called me a bad mother and my son hasn’t come out of his room since I told him.
However, the house is obviously tense with his dad and I together so I thought that it would be better for our son if I wasn’t there, eliminating the chance for argument. I feel like if I was there I would just ruin the birthday anyway and overall not be there for my daughter either.
I also feel if I stay there longer I’ll end up giving negative feelings to my daughter instead of expressing my desire for her to continue her career.
AITA? ###### | YTA for inserting yourself into your daughters career AND for letting her move away at 16 AND for fighting with your husband so badly that your son cried AND for not talking things out like rational adults AND for missing your son's birthday without even talking to him about it, though I feel like that is the least of your crimes here. ###### |
Throwaway because my wife knows my account.
I've (28M) have been with my amazing, sexy wife (29F) for five years. She normally gets pedicures to take care of her heels, but due to recent events she has not been able to, and it's killing me. I don't know how or why her heels get so jagged and crusty, but they look like Hobbit hooves, and they HURT when she gets me with them. I also just really hate feet, and always have, so this makes it worse. We'll be cuddling in bed, and then suddenly it feels like a cheese grater just scraped my leg. One time we were having sex and then SCHWING right down my back, it was brutal. One time she suggested taking martial arts classes together and I told her we should try kickboxing because her heels are like gilded weapons. She cried and I apologized, but man, her heels are just so scratchy and painful. The compromise we ended up making is that she gets pedicures regularly, and it's been working great for us for years now.
Until recently. The other night we were cuddling in bed and she sliced me again with her jagged hoof, so I suggested she wear socks to bed until she can get another pedicure. She told me that she's never like sleeping with socks on and they make her feel constricted. She does have a foot file, but it doesn't do the job because she needs the heavy duty ones they use at the nail place and we can't find a good one anywhere online. I feel bad because I know she's insecure about her heels and I've been a douche about them in the past. For right now we sleep under separate blankets. We still have an active sex life, which is important, but I really miss cuddling with her without getting shanked in the leg. AITA here, guys? ###### | YTA for how your talk about her. I get that you’re making jokes to entertain....redditors....but she is your wife. She may have crusty feet, and she may want to find solutions that you can help with, but there’s no reason to continuously disrespect her like that so anonymous strangers can upvote you. ###### |
I used to work at a cosmetics retail store. I was there for 2 years and about 18 months in, a girl named Fatima joined our team. She was professional, kind and a great sales rep.
There was only one problem. Her FEET. SMELLED. LIKE ROTTING EGGS. They smelled what I'd imagine would smell like dead rats, vomit and beatle juice all at once. PUNGENT. OVERWHELMING. STALE. It was unbearable.
What's worse is noone in our team had the guts to tell her. She was just spoken about behind her back. "Oh here comes Feetima" and "stay 10 FEET away from her". We'd avoid her like the plague. She would even deter customers from our store.
6 months later, I was set to move overseas and handed in my resignation to my manager. At the same time, I offered to have a word with Fatima about her feet since I was leaving anyway and wouldn't have to deal with the repercussions. My manager was thrilled.
I waited until my last day on the job. I found the opportunity when we were both in the kitchen together alone. I said "Fatima, I'm going to tell you something that I would want you to tell me if I were in your position. Your feet smell like something died and is decomposing on them. It's so bad that everyone deliberately avoids you and I think you should do something about it".
She responded by saying she has a fungas issue and that she can't afford new shoes. She then broke down, called me inconsiderate and stormed out.
I never spoke to her again. My manager was very grateful.
TLDR: Took the opportunity on my last day on the job to tell a co worker her feet smell like something dead is decomposing on them since I'd never see her again. ###### | YTA for how you told her. She is right, that was very inconsiderate. Why couldn’t you have just let her know discreetly and respectfully? She clearly has a medical issue and this needed to have been addressed well before you guys started making fun of her behind her back and didnt care that you were losing business because of it. ###### |
My girlfriend (24F) and I (35M) have been together for almost a year. She comes from a wealthy family. They own several houses and buy my gf everything she wants whenever she wants it. They’re good people, but I think they need to treat her like a woman instead of a child. I worked hard for everything I have, which isn’t much, so it frustrates me to watch her coast through life. They pay all of her bills, including putting her through medical school. All she has to pay for herself are her luxuries, so she is able to build up her savings much more than I am. Who the hell is able to save up while they’re in medical school? Well anyone can become a doctor with the endless opportunities that she has.
So yesterday my girlfriend and I got into a very heated argument. She told me her new laptop had finally come. I asked her what laptop. She said her old one broke a few days ago so she ordered a new one. She got a top of the line MacBook, way more bells and whistles than what she needs. I asked how she paid for it but I knew the answer, her parents bought it. So here’s where I might be the asshole. I was really mad knowing they probably spent 3 months of what could be someone’s rent on a computer that she *doesn’t need*. I finally just asked her if she’s embarrassed that everything she has in life has been handed to her. Naturally she got defensive and we started arguing. After a while I calmly said I think she’s a spoiled brat and her parents are doing a disservice to her. She called me a string of obscenities in return before hanging up on me. We haven’t talked since.
I get that I was harsh on her but I really don’t think I was wrong. She’s an adult who has no concept of what the real world is like. I want the best for her at the end of the day. Reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA For how you handled this.
Does she flaunt her wealth? Treat people poorly? Expect to get good grades because of her money?
Her laptop broke and her parents bought her a new one. NBD. Did you walk in on her screeching at the top of her lungs on the phone with her parents demanding a top of the line MacBook or is that just the laptop what they bought?
You’ve provided no evidence that she’s a spoiled brat, only that her family is financially stable and your behavior suggests extreme jealousy. I suggest you apologize to your GF and speak to someone before this jealousy ruins your relationship. ###### |
So I’m getting married July 21st
(Corona be dammed, I’ll get married if I want) and for my wedding party, I have my bestie, my future sister in law, and my little sister(14). Now I am getting married to a poc, whose family all has this brown hair. My family also has very curly brown hair( not a Afro or anything just very strong Italian genes). Everyone at my wedding is going to have brown hair, because I am only inviting close family and my best friends. I thought this was perfect, And I have dyed my hair lighter. It was supposed to be platinum but for some reason my hair just didn’t take that well and so it’s left me with this gorgeous honey color. The only problem is my sister. My sister has naturally blonde hair. And she is literally obsessed with it, she brushes it constantly. It’s this golden color and when ever she stands in the sun it looks lighter and shines. I am having a outdoor wedding, so the sun will be out. She’s gonna be one of my bridesmaids so she’ll be near me, and she just won’t fit in with the rest of the wedding party. ( I want her to get a tan too because of how pale she is but honestly she’ll probably just burn ) this will also ruin my plan to dye my hair. I asked her if she could dye her hair darker for the wedding and just dye it back after the wedding. She IMMEDIATELY got defensive, and used some pretty rough language towards me. I told her if she loved me then she’d do it and she said I guess I just don’t love you then which hurt my feelings really bad. I want her out of my wedding party but I have no other choice but to have her there because my parents are paying for my wedding and they want her there. But now they’re calling me a bitch for just wanting a matching wedding party. Thinking of just shaving her head while she sleeps lol. AITA? ###### | YTA for having a wedding during a pandemic and for asking your sister to dye her hair ###### |
I hated my grandma, she was a real bitch all the time. She played favorites all the time and treated me like trash compared to my siblings, she gave me really awful gifts compared to my siblings and cousins around Christmas and the holidays. So I was pretty hype when she finally kicked the bucket. My brother overheard me and told my parents and now I’m grounded for 3 months, am I the asshole? ###### | YTA for having "poggers" in your vocabulary ###### |
Yesterday I was browsing Instagram and saw a pic with a girl with her whole ear pierced. I thought it looked awesome and spontaneously decided to get it done.
The only place open doing ear piercings was a local hair salon so went there and got 5 new piercings added to my left ear in addition to the 3 I had already. I did not think it was to outrageous as it just a line of CZ studs going up my ear.
I sent a pic to my bf and he got mad at me. Said it looked trashy and should have told him first as he would have talked me out of it. I was told bluntly that I should discuss such things with him first as he did not find it attractive. AITA here? ###### | YTA for going to a hair salon to get piercings during a pandemic ###### |
Throwayay for obvious reasons, and I’ll try to keep this short. Also, this is not relationship advice, I just want to know if I presented things in a bad way.
A while back I started searching for some new jobs out of boredom basically. To my surprise I managed to land something that requires me to relocate to another country, let’s call it B. The country I’m on right now, country A, is pretty shitty compared to B.
Now the thing is I’ve been married to my wife whom I love dearly, but we haven’t had any children yet. When I told her what I did we had a fight because she says her family is here and she cannot separate from them. My position is that this is an amazing opportunity with many costs supported by the employer and the pay is great too. Negatives would be: learning the language to gain access to other jobs, especially for her (for me English is enough), and distance from family (about 3000km). She says she would be homesick within a month and she will not leave with me at all.
As a final point I told her I hate being tied up to other people’s lives and that it was her family’s choice to remain in country A. I feel that ultimatum was kind of harsh, so I’m asking you AITA? ###### | YTA for going for a job abroad without even discussing this with your wife. You now have some choices: You go to country B without your wife and either your marriage is over or you make the long-distance thing work. Or you find a job in your own area and get over it.
Marriage is not a dictatorship. You can NOT demand things from your spouse. Communication, negotiation, and mutual respect are mandatory. You forgot all of these things in YOUR decision to get that other job. ###### |
I met her 27 years ago. We lived next door to each other for 3 years and she was a very good neighbor to have. Very nice. We reconnected 2 years ago and she's been to several of my parties. But she's really bad about inviting like 20 people to come with her and I'm invaded.
Don't get me wrong! They're super nice people and when they come, they're taking out my garbage, washing dishes, they're great! But it's a little daunting to be expecting maybe 15 people and having 40 turn up.
But that's not the real problem. Even though we were neighbors, I never really understood just how...stupid she is. I mean like verging on brain damaged. She's just really, really dense. I had her over a couple of times last year and it was, just...unbearable. She has a REALLY loud, abrasive HAW HAW HAW!! laugh that just sets my teeth on edge. She constantly interrupts you when you're talking and it takes FOREVER to explain literally ANYTHING more complex than "food tastes good" to her. She also tends to get really, really drunk very quickly. She's also a 'close talker' and cannot seem to modulate the volume of her voice.
If it weren't for this virus, I'd be fielding daily messages, calls and texts from her wanting to come over and hang out. I usually just make excuses or pretend I'm not home. I keep hoping she'll get the hint, but, nope! Like I said, she's just not very bright.
Am I the asshole for ducking her? ###### | YTA for ghosting her and not telling her how you feel
You aren't at fault for not wanting to be her friend or for not liking her inviting people to your parties. You don't even have to apologize for thinking she's dumb.
But you are the asshole for not being upfront. Be an adult and tell her you don't want to be friends. It doesn't need to be a long message. Just let her know. ###### |
So i'm a "vampire" (m15), and i'm friends with this girl from school (f15) and since we can't se eachother at school anymore, we talk via facebook.
I am very naturally pale and have colored my hair since age 12, and i mostly go out at night.
We were talking one day via facetime, and was asking me questions. She suddenly asked me "could i become a vampire myself?" and explained she also is a outsider and prefer being outside at night and loves goth music. Now, she's VERY dark and has a natural afro. I explained that vampires are usually pale and have long, straight black hair so not really. She got sad and her dad called me later and told me to apologize to her.
AITA? was i mean or racist? ###### | YTA for gatekeeping a fictional species ###### |
My daughter has always been in dance recitals and plays were wearing makeup was both encouraged and expected, and never said anything about it. If anything, she seemed excited about getting to wear makeup (especially for her dance recitals, when the makeup is less cartoonish.)
Because she’ll be going to a new school in the fall, I went online and bought her a few basics - just foundation, eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara. I told her it was a good idea for her to start practicing her makeup now, when she’s not seeing her friends everyday, so that she knows what she’s doing when school starts. I also went over how everything is used, and showed her how not to overdo her makeup and look ridiculous.
A couple of my friends who I told about this think I’m an asshole for doing this. I was taken aback by that, because I thought this was a sweet mother/daughter bonding moment.
AITA here? ###### | YTA for expecting her to wear makeup so she can get a boyfriend. I know deep down you just what wants best for her but I think you’re going about it wrong, and honestly it sounds kind of pushy the way you told her to “practice to she’ll be good at the start of the school year.” Does she want to wear makeup every day? or just at dance recitals and the like? Even if she does want to wear makeup, I hope you aren’t telling her it’s for the boys in her class. I also think you should continue to empower her and remind her she’s beautiful without makeup too. 13 is a really tough time for girls and their body images. ###### |
So, there are absolutely no creepy intentions behind this, it’s just something we’ve always done and I kiss my daughters on the lips too. Just a quick peck, nothing creepy.
Anyway, when I visit my son or he visits me we hug and give a quick peck of a kiss on the lips to say goodbye.
My sons current girlfriend finds this to be extremely creepy and she says it makes her feel uncomfortable in a way which makes her believe there are some underlying psychological incestual issues in our family.
To hear someone say something like that made me feel sick and uncomfortable at first and then it just pissed me off. I told my son if it makes him feel awkward at all we can shake hands or wave to eachother when we say goodbye after visiting but he doesn’t care so when he visits me and has her with him I give him an extra long hug and a peck to say goodbye just to piss her off.
AITA? ###### | YTA for doing it intentionally to rub it in her face at this point. And I'm going to be honest-if that is a hard boundary for his significant other then he has to decide who is more important. It probably will cause issues down the line even if this girlfriend doesn't turn out to be the one, so be prepared for that. Are you going to balk if the mother of his children won't allow you to kiss the grandkids on the lips? Will you respect his new nuclear family? Something tells me your future daughter in law has her work cut out for her. ###### |
My girlfriend is 21F and I am 36F.
We live together and because she has no relationship with her controlling, abusive parents, I offered to pay her college tuition.
She’s a sophomore, and right now is taking summer courses. Last weekend, I had a work emergency in another state and was stressed out.
I told my girlfriend I wanted her to come with me. She said no, she needed to study for her exam the next day, and that she can’t focus on planes.
I ended up going on the trip alone and was resentful because I was in Las Vegas of all places and I felt she didn’t even care like a normal partner would that I would be surrounded with so many sources of temptation.
Yesterday, the university posted their bill for next semester. I told her that I didn’t know if I wanted to pay it.
She got super upset, but I reminded her that I didn’t have to pay any of it and that I felt like she obviously not appreciating me like she used to.
Since then, she’s been throwing a mini tantrum which has included raiding the wine cellar and not answering me when I ask why she’s drinking except to say “ I’m sad.”
AITA? ###### | YTA for dating someone 15 years younger than you and expecting her to be able to just drop everything because you want her to.
You are literally using your money to control her because you're cranky that she decided to put her education over your work trip.
Who are you to demand that she put her education aside because "I want you to come with me to Vegas"? ###### |
My husband is losing some mobility in what doctors assume is the start of a motor neuron disease. He has difficulty walking and has lost sensation in the right side of his torso. Considering the current world climate, wait times for specialist appointments and etc are extended. We'll be waiting a further 3-4 months before an official diagnosis but our GP says to not get too hasty and don't jump into the mindset of "lifelong illness". We just have to wait.
In the interim, my husband said he'd like to get a wheelchair and make our home wheelchair accessible. For a little backstory: this is our home, but it was mine before we got married. It was my parents who bought it for me, I lived here for 5 years, met my husband, and 3 years later got married. It became ours in the marriage. I hesitate to call it ours because I brought it into the marriage, even if legally it's seen as ours.
I don't want to install ramps and redo stairs because it would negatively impact the house value. The actual cost of construction is relatively minimal (government would subsidize some of it) but removing accommodations is not subsidized and can be hefty. On top of that, this is way too soon. My husband wants to get the ball going ASAP, I want to wait a few months.
AITA for putting my foot down and use the "it's my house" card? ###### | YTA for caring more about a house that was BOUGHT for you more than the health and well-being of a man you vowed to love in sickness and health. ###### |
Just for some background on our family, I had my daughter at 17, she turned 15 March. Her stepfather and I have been married since she was five.
A couple of years ago she started shying away from church, and around the same time building an altar. At first it was just crystals and candles. She said it was for meditation. Her stepfather and I were uncomfortable with it but we let it go.
With time she she has added more and more religious candles and deities, and she is focusing on it more. We are definitely starting to be less and less ok with it. We are unfamiliar with the things that she has there, we are uncomfortable with the candles and our intuition was to ask her to take it down.
Seeking guidance, we took pictures of the altar and posted it on Facebook, asking other parents what they would do about the situation, and seeing if anyone was familiar about it.
Many advised us to have her write out what each thing was on the altar. That way we can determine it’s appropriateness. If she didn’t want to do that then we had a right to take it down.
We thought that this was good advice so we went to our daughter and told her exactly that. She got offended about us questioning her religious beliefs, and told us that she would not comply. We have given her until the end of the week, the altar will come down if she doesn’t do what we ask.
We posted again to Facebook to update about the situation, and to my surprise people were reacting negatively to what I had done. Many people are saying that this is an invasion of privacy, and that I have no right to do this. I think that it is part of my parenting duty to teach my daughter moral beliefs.
Someone on Facebook actually recommended that I post here to get some other opinions, I’m curious about what people think about the situation.
If she doesn’t tell me the meaning of everything on the alter, I’m taking it down. AITA? ###### | YTA for airing her personal life and your family issues on Facebook.
I can see the concern over things like candles, they’re a fire hazard. But why in the world did you not just talk to your child? ###### |
My wife got laid off from her job due to the pandemic. Since I work in an office, I get to work from home. My wife hasn't really been looking for new jobs, she will occasionally apply for a job on linkedin, but she isn't putting in a lot of effort in her job search.
However, almost every day she took the car out to see her friends/her parents/etc in spite of the whole quarantine. This has made me frustrated with her because she seems pretty nonchalant about not having a job. This is especially bad because if I need to use the car to go to the store or just to a park to relax, I have to wait for her to come back with messes up my schedule.
I should note that the car was mine before we got married. I decided to hide the keys to it and we had an argument. I told her she is forbidden from using the car until she starts getting serious about looking for a job. She yelled and told me I was being unfair. So needless to say, she's been pretty passive aggressive around me lately but I think my request is completely reasonable, she doesn't work so she shouldn't have the right to the car until she starts contributing. ###### | YTA for a whole bunch of reasons.
You're married which theoretically makes you an adult, but your post reads like an angry 2 year old throwing a tantrum. You're obviously able to communicate so instead of hiding the keys, why didn't you try talking to her instead?
Or maybe this is entirely made up because I can't imagine that you don't already know YTA. ###### |
I’ll do my best to keep this short. I have 3 boys with my wife ages 10, 8, and 7. The middle one is the son in question. Let’s call him Austin. I’m no barber but I know how to cut hair. I cut their and my hair if it gets too long. Last year my son started wanting to skip haircuts and my wife said we should let him grow it out if he wants to. I was reluctant because I care about our family looking neat and presentable. I budged in the end.
Austin’s hair got way longer than I ever would agree to. It is past his shoulders. His brothers tease him for looking like a girl and I wouldn’t be surprised if he got that at school too. I asked my son if he would like to cut his hair. He said no but he’s a child. I talked to my wife over and over about it who insisted that he be allowed to decide for himself. I disagree because I think he’s too young to know what is appropriate or not. I wouldn’t allow one of my kids to wear his swim shorts to school. You have to teach kids by saying no sometimes. When she was at work today I decided to cut Austin’s hair and apologize to my wife for it later. He looks way better. He didn’t want the haircut at first but now says he likes it.
When my wife got a look at him and heard that I made him cut his hair, I swear steam came out of her ears. I have never seen her so angry. She told me I was a bad father today and refuses to even talk to me. While we were arguing she said she had half a mind to leave me over this. I think she is making a really big deal out of hair that my son does not even miss. I knew she would be angry but this seems like blowing it way out of proportion. Hair grows back. Anyways, AITA here? ###### | YTA first of all you’re allowing your other sons to call him a girl and bully him over his hair, so nice job allowing that to happen. With the attitude you have towards hair it’s no wonder they thought it was appropriate to call him names. Second you forced him to get a haircut against his wishes because you’re pent up over stereotypes. News flash it’s 2020 and boys are allowed to have long hair it’s okay for them to have long hair. His classmates probably don’t even give a shit about his hair because people have learned that things like long hair on guys isn’t something worth giving a shit about. ###### |
My son is 23 and got married two years ago. He and his wife are head over heels in love and her parents adore him. We invited them over for a Mother's Day dinner as we haven't seen much of them lately. They said they would love to and plans were made. Then they cancelled at the last minute saying they had to work. They sent flowers to my wife on Mother's Day. We were both kind of sad though.
I went to his FB page today and noticed he didn't post anything. He usually posts a lot. So I went to my DIL's FB page and saw that this bastard and her didn't work last night - they were having dinner with HER parents. Her parents left comments like "you are the son we never had." There was no reason to lie. It would have upset us less if he had been honest and said he needed to do this Mother's Day with the in-laws. We would get it. My wife found out and was in tears.
I went on his FB page and told him he was a selfish asshole for lying after we did so much for them like helping them pay for the wedding and other bills. Then I went on my DIL's page and told her that I was sorry that she thinks she's too good for us but not too good to ask us for money when they didn't have it.
Now I know why he didn't post anything on his FB because he didn't want us to find out. It was on their pages for awhile and last I check, it has about 13 comments asking what was going on. They deleted the comments and I have heard nothing from them. I'm thinking about SHAMING them again. ###### | YTA ffs if you have an issue with your son talk to his directly. Don't stalk his wife's facebook and then leave abusive comments like you're an internet troll. Maybe we've cracked the code on why they wanted to have dinner with her parents instead ###### |
Throwaway.
This happened a few months ago. I own a small, but popular burger joint in the middle of town.
I’m quite strict about money, and want to save whenever I can. I was looking over the heating bill and realized I was spending an absurd amount (over $500 per month) on heating alone.
As a result, I asked my employees to keep the temperature at 62 degrees or under indefinitely. This proved to be quite the difficult transition for them. I should mention that their attire consists of just a shirt, shorts, and a hat. Because I knew they would feel tempted to change the temperature (one of them is especially uptight about trivial things like this), I installed an alarm system to the thermostat to notify me if the temperature was turned up. I also put up a sign to remind them to never turn up the thermostat without my permission.
One particular day, I was sitting in my office managing my finances when the alarm went off. I stormed outside to find that the thermostat was at 63 degrees. I angrily demanded to see who was one who did this. There were only 2 employees present at the time. Unsurprisingly, it was the uptight employee that turned up the temperature.
Needless to say, I was furious. The uptight employee called me “selfish” for being so strict about the temperature.
AITA? ###### | YTA Eugene. Get over it. Maybe you won't need it so cold if you sell more Krabby Patties ###### |
This might sound bad, but I've always been the class clown, funny type of dude, usually, my son (M19) loves it, and he's more like a friend than a son (he's a great kid, honor roll, all that). The other day, he came to me and told me he had to tell me and his mom something super important.
Now, we had our suspicions, but he confirmed them when he told us that he was indeed, GAY. Neither I nor my wife have a problem with that, so when he told us, I laughed and yelled out, "HA! GAYYYYY" like that skit from who knows what show a few years ago.
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He didn't take it as well as I expected and started crying before running off and slamming the door. My wife says ITA, but I thought it was hilarious. Reddit, what do you think? (I will apologize to him once he calms down). ###### | YTA especially because you still think it was a hilarious joke after he ran off crying. ###### |
One of my sons is in his mid twenties, a recently qualified doctor and has seemingly no regard for his own life. My other son showed me his youtube channel (fake name, face covered etc but it's without question his poorly hidden voice) where he's recorded himself doing idiotic things such as 100mph wheelies on his motorbike at an abandoned airfield 30 miles from my house (which I hated him getting in the first place), pull ups from 20 storey buildings, jumping gaps between buildings etc. I was obviously shocked and terrified for his health, brought it up with him at which point he told me it was none of his business what he did in his spared time and he's only risking his own health. We argued about it for months, which ended in me threatening to tell my countries medical council. He acted unphased by this and since nothing else was getting anywhere with him, I did in the end report him.
He's refused to speak to me since although according to brother it looks like he isn't going to face a permanent ban or anything, just a stern telling off (like I hoped would happen). Wife is on my side but rest of family are staying out of, although I feel as if it goes without saying I'm in the right considering I reported when nothing would get through to him apart from the threat of losing his job. AITA? ###### | YTA dude. did you really fail as a parent so badly you want the medical board to try and play babysitter to your grown adult, 20-something year old son? does this affect his job/work in any way? no, it doesn’t. you would rather risk his job than let him enjoy his life doing things he enjoys? ###### |
Backstory: my brother is 5 years old and I am 14. He’s starting kindergarten next year and my parents are teaching him some basic math. I don’t really have a great relationship with him because most of the time, he acts like a spoiled brat and refuse to listen. I’m always seen as “the brother who hates his younger one” by my grandma or my mom. Do I hate him? No. Although sometimes I can be a little bit of an ass to him and I’m willing to admit.
The event: yesterday while I was eating breakfast, my brother was asking me math questions like “what’s 2 +2?” And I said “22” and he gets all happy, saying I’m correct. I was doing this as a joke. He asked more and I would say similar answers like that. Well today, my brother was doing the same thing to my mom and grandma. They would give him the actual answers but he would shout that they’re wrong and when I came to the kitchen to grab a water, he asked me. “(OP) what’s 6 + 5?” I said “65”. My mom was pissed, calling me a pos brother, saying i ruined my brothers education. I’m like wtf and that I was joking with him. My grandma agreed with her. All of them started guilt tripping me saying that “how would you like it if I gave you the wrong answers?” To which I reply: “you wouldn’t because you’re actually responsible for me and my education. Stop guilt tripping me over a silly joke.” The told me to go away for being rude and now I’m in my room wondering if I went too far. Did I ? ###### | YTA dude, your brother is 5. Cut him some slack. The only one who thinks it's funny is you. No wonder people think you hate him, his brain is young and malleable and he is gullible, being a child, and you see nothing wrong with feeding him the wrong answers. ###### |
I (27M) got engaged recently to my girlfriend of five years (27F) and she was discussing wedding dress plans with me—we don’t have a date yet but she is a big planner. Coincidentally, my older sister (30F) also got engaged within a week of me, this is relevant for the rest of the story.
I was talking with my fiancé and she expressed to me how she’s kind of upset that she’s not close to any of her immediate family (they treated her quite badly) so she will not have any family heirlooms to wear on her wedding day. that’s when I got the idea—my grandmother’s wedding dress has never been worn since her wedding day, and she has always expressed wanting one of her grandkids to wear it (I remember she emphasized that this would be for one time because it would have to be altered and it’s a very delicate dress apparently)
I have no female cousins, and my own sister has always said to me she thought the dress was not modern enough/thought it was, in her own words, “extremely drab”, so I showed a picture to my fiancé and suggested it. My fiancé seemed thrilled at the idea of wearing it because she loves my grandma.
I asked my grandma for her permission—she then says that my sister also asked to wear the dress a day after I did??? Apparently my sister had a change of heart because she doesn’t want to go out shopping for dresses anymore, and decided she can just wear grandma’s dress.
Now Grandma and the rest of my family is in favor of my sister wearing the dress because she’s actually a grandkid, which I said was unfair and cruel. I just don’t see why my sister should wear something she previously was so rude about instead of my appreciate fiancé. AITA? ###### | YTA dresses and rings go down the female line unless other wise expressed or lack of female heir. ###### |
I was the best man at my best friends wedding about 4 months ago. I’d never been to a wedding before but had a great time and it was amazing seeing my best friend since childhood get married. I’m have a pretty nervous disposition, so the fact I’d be making a speech at some point during the day, I drank a bit more than I should’ve done.
My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 years, and have decided that we’re going to wait a bit to get married as she’s been through a lot recently. I’m not big on the whole marriage thing so I told her that was absolutely fine and we’d wait.
The wedding reception rolls around, I make my speech, I take advantage of the open bar. My girlfriend was also in the brides wedding party so she was off with her friends most of the day. It got to 10pm and I was pretty drunk, so my girlfriend found me and took me outside to have some fresh air. Whilst we were there we had a super amazing deep chat about life, and I thought to myself, why not, let’s propose. It was outside but we were still in eye-view of everyone in the reception, and a few people were already looking to make sure I was okay as they knew how drunk I was.
I proposed expecting her to be overjoyed but instead she started crying and ran inside. My best friend came over and asked what the fuck I thought I was doing proposing at his wedding, and his new wife was pissed because instead of enjoying her wedding she was now having to console my girlfriend who was pissed off that I’d even thought of proposing whilst drunk. My girlfriend decided we needed to take a break and the majority of my friends aren’t speaking to me, but I was drunk and I do love my girlfriend. AITA? ###### | YTA don't propose at someone's event and don't propose when you are drunk
Edit- can't wait to see George Takei post about this, hi. ###### |
I’m her father.
I have told my daughter(age 15) to stop drawing on herself more than 3 times. She has disobeyed my orders and continued to draw on herself. Mainly on her legs and arms. She draws things like Chinese symbols and doodles and scribbles in marker and it looks trashy and ugly. Today I told her to stop drawing on herself for the 4-5th time, and she back talked and said, “we aren’t going anywhere so nobody is gonna see it”. And, “I like drawing on myself because it’s a way to express myself”.
So I told her, “it’s ugly and I don’t wanna see it”. Then she sassed me and said, “then don’t look at it”.
I immediately got mad at her and yelled at her to stop disrespecting me and told her that she has to obey everything her mother and I say, right when we say it. Then she started crying. I continue on and say that this household is not a democracy and she doesn’t have a choice and she has to do what her parents tell her too. After that I say that I’m tired of her and her siblings arguing on things they can’t have the freedom to decide. Then I walk out of the room to calm down. She is in her room now and I’m wondering now if I was too harsh on her.
So, AITA? ###### | YTA Do you always act like a petty tyrant to your daughter? What makes you so desperate to control her? ###### |
There's a backstory, basically a few days ago I redownloaded Skype and saw he reached out to me saying "I need to ask you something" I'm assuming it was just the only thing I haven't blocked him on and his only way to reach me. I replied even though I was several months late and he said he'd forgot the question he was gonna ask but we started being friendly and talking again, eventually he told me he had a girlfriend now, showed me photos of her, mind you this woman is probably 250 lbs, but I'm a nice person or I try my best to be and I was like oh she's pretty said I was happy for him etc. We continued to talk, didn't flirt at all but eventually he told me he still had feelings and I was like yeah maybe we shouldn't talk then and we stopped, fast forward a few hours and I got phone call from him, I picked up and his girlfriend began screaming at me calling me a whore and all this crap and then she hung up giving me no room to speak, I didn't even know she didn't like me until that point. He continued to text me after that and eventually said he still loved me so I reached out to her on Instagram and told her her boyfriend was confessing his feelings to me because I didn't want him cheating behind her back. Instead of accepting that she flipped out and called me a whore, trailor trash and many other things, I tried to be nice for multiple hours but she kept trashing me and eventually I just snapped I guess. I pointed out she was super insecure and she continuously said I needed to date better guys and I was like "ironic bc you're with the guy who cheated on me" and I went out and said a lot of rude things and eventually said "Good day, fat ass." She trashed me for multiple hours and I stood by and took it, I was merely trying to help her but I don't know if I'm the bad guy for going off on her. ###### | YTA Did you post this just to get upvotes for fat shaming someone? You really shouldn't have been talking with him knowing he might have feelings and should have stopped it once photos of his girlfriend started being shared as it's crossing a line. You also could have hung up when she called and simply blocked the number. It kind of comes off that you were enjoying the drama so you could insult her when you got tired of it. And your replies - you keep changing your story, which proves my point. ###### |
I'm M45 my wife is f34 and we've been married for 13 years and have 2 kids. I make a very very good living and started looking at turning our unfinished basement into a man cave, my wife and I spoke about it but she flat out rejected for no reason. I budgeted about 150k to fully renovate and furnish it, with a walk out to the backyard which we can easily afford, but my wife just said she didn't want to have a man cave in her house even though I built her a walk in closet with make-up area room in our master bedroom. I brought it up to her and told her this and she said its not the same and that a lot of her friends come over and they wouldn't feel comfortable in a man-cave. I told her its called a man cave but it doesn't matter who uses it, anyone of our friends or kids friends can chill there.
We argued about it for a week but then I said fuck it I work way too hard and bring in all the money into this house and I pulled out 200k out of my personal accounts and I hired an interior designer and contractor to start it up. My wife was PISSED, like I thought she'd kill me but that wore off after a few weeks and she's not pissed anymore just called it the biggest asshole move in history. This was about 8 months ago and construction finished in the end of March (thank god). Its got a full bar, 8 TV's, wine cellar, billiards room, poker table/area, home theatre area, and my favourite a cigar/whiskey room and a few other features.
My wife saw it complete for the first time and said it was really nice, but still called it an asshole move and her sister and her friends then called me and said I'm an asshole as well.
I don't get it, AITA? ###### | YTA come on dude. I don't think I've ever seen an AITA when the conversation devolves to "well im the breadwinner so I make the decision without consultation. The end" where that person isn't the asshole. ###### |
in my apartment complex, this little girl was doing the cliche, "lemonade, lemonade, come get your sweet lemonade!" thing and i decided to take a look since i want to become friendly with the neighbors. We made pleasantries and the dad even gave me a plate of food to go! i decided to make small talk with their daughter selling lemonade who apparently wanted to buy a pony with the money she collects from selling the juice. Pipe dream, but she's a kid. I buy into her fantasy and she asks for $2 a cup. I give her $5 but she gave me another cup even though I told her I only wanted 1 and to keep the change :)
now i took a swig of that shit and unconsciously violently ejected that shit right the fuck back out of my mouth where it belongs. I was actually kind of mad because she false advertised it as "sweet" lemonade, when that shit was as sour as a lemon fucking warhead. Her parents should've seriously done some quality control, but that whole "she's just a little girl" mentality just made me drink ass juice for the very first time of my life. My face scrunched up like wrinkled day old laundry and i immediately knew i fucked up when i saw the little girls face start to tear up. I apologized, but it was too late and she started bawling. I wanted to gtfo ASAP, but put the other cup back down and started to walk away. She cried even harder and yelled, "you don't want the other one either?!?" I heard the footsteps of her dad coming out and i just said, "Gotta go bye" and fast walked back to my room.
I'm anxious about running into them now, but that was probably more traumatic for my taste buds than it was for her. I don't see the big deal. AITA? ###### | YTA but you're also hilarious, lmao ###### |
I can’t remember if it was a weeknight or not which is relevant but oh well.
Regardless the park closes at 11 and some kids were gathered being super loud and smoking weed which I didn’t mind until after the park closed and I got fed up. So I decided to take action. I put my speaker outside of my window, blasted the hamster dance song, and waited. Five minutes later I stopped and they had gone! Am I the Asshole? They weren’t hurting anyone just being annoying late at night and I was def a dick but was I the asshole? ###### | YTA but that is hilarious I remember when that first came out, It is annoying as all hell looking back and cringing lol
yes it is annoying with a loud music but you didn't hurt anyone you didn't threaten anyone you're a funny arsehole..
And it lasted 5 minutes it's not like you did it for hours..
Maybe next time just warn the neighbours well at least the ones around you or leave a note , that your just trying to get rid of some teenage kids doing teenage kids dumb stuff.. ###### |
There was a family reunion planned this month that got canceled for the obvious reasons, and that was where I was going to come out to my dad's side of the family. I don't care that much about coming out (I'm very privileged that I never had to guess if the important people in my life would love me regardless), and I wasn't going to make a speech or anything, just use it as a comeback when they make comments about how I don't have a boyfriend or want kids. They're much more conservative, so honestly that seemed to me the best way to go about it.
So in lieu of traveling cross state lines for the reunion, my dad asked me and my brother to come to his house for dinner with his wife. I don't know how much Dad's known about my identity (my mom knew I was gay before I did) as getting him to talk with me about anything deeper than what movies are good is akin to having a door slammed in my face. During dinner, the subject of my (sadly nonexistent) relationship comes up and since I was planning to anyway, officially tell him I'm into women. No one reacts much, and that's fine. I honestly didn't expect anything. I leave a few hours later.
My brother messages me later to tell me dad was unhappy with my news. He was quite upset, in fact. The only specific thing he would tell me was "dad's wife is going to set you up with the new guy in her office because that'll knock some sense into you." My brother won't confirm, but I really think my father is implying I just need to get laid, and that will "fix" me.
So I messaged my father saying that actually this is all his fault because he was a bad dad and a weak male role model, and also he could go to hell. He hasn't replied, but his wife keeps messaging me about how I'm an ungrateful, mean girl.
Did I choose a bad time to come out? I think maybe social dstancing is eating at all of us but I'm still upset.
tl;dr: I came out during a family dinner, and retaliated when it was implied I just needed to get laid. ###### | YTA but only for implying that sexuality is a choice that you made because of something he did or said. ###### |
My ex has been dating this woman for 3 years and she has been in my kids’ life since he was 2. I absolutely hate that my son likes this woman and talks about her as I feel like the only reason is because my ex forced my son to hang around her. My son already has a mom and doesn’t need another person confusing him by trying to parent him.
My ex says he asks her to help and appreciates her supporting him but isn’t it his job as the dad to parent his own son?
One example is she told my son to use his inside voice when he was screaming in the car while my ex was allegedly driving. My ex claims that he couldn’t handle him by himself because he was driving the car but how is it her right to tell my kid to shut up????
So I told my son that dad’s gf is a dumb lady and a stranger and only dad can tell him what to do. My son went and repeated this to my ex and now he is pissed at me calling me an asshole because “it’s his GFs apartment too” and she “helps out a lot with the kids”.
AITA for just being a protective mom? ###### | Yta but not for being a protective mom. You’re being TA. You’re just trying to stick it to your ex and his gf. Your son will be the one who suffers from it. Very childish. ###### |
On my way to bed, I realized I had to send an important email before tomorrow.
While I was writing this email, my wife asked me if the parent of our kid's friend's full name was [redacted]. I told her I didn't know. Then she wanted to know what autodeposit on electronic funds transfer was. I told her it was pretty much what it sounds like. Then she asked whether that meant [redacted] had an account at the same bank as her. I told her I had no idea. At this point I'd completely lost my train of thought with the email, so when she asked me why someone would get autodeposit, I snapped at her and said "what are you trying to do?" She said she was sending [redacted] some money we owed her for some kid-related activity.
I put down my laptop and walked over to her quickly and said something along the lines of "let me see that", looked at her screen was like "if this is the email address you have for [redatcted], then it's probably going to transfer money to [redacted], but if you don't think the name is right, then don't do it." I was very curt with her and stomped back over to my laptop and tried to get back to my email.
Now I feel like an asshole because she told me I hurt her feelings and went off to bed. I could have told her I was in the middle of something. She also could have been a lot more explicit about what she was trying to figure out, instead of interrupting me every few minutes for 10 minutes.
Shit. Pretty sure AITA after reading this. ###### | YTA but it is understandable to be annoyed when interrupted. We all have things that push our buttons.
A key technique when considering an argument with a loved one (both at the time, and when trying to make things right afterwards) is to think 'Did they genuinely intend to annoy me, or make me feel hurt, or was it a genuine mistake or misunderstanding?'. If you have good people in your life, then it's always a misunderstanding... And once you take the intent out if it, it's much easier to discuss and make up. It's also good to put that in the discussion too, like 'I'm really sorry I snapped at you. I know you didn't intend to interrupt me, but I was trying to concentrate, and lost my train of thought. I should have been more patient, or asked you to give me a few minutes.' ###### |
My niece usually hang around me when I play video games or watch movies on my computer. Recently I decided to quit smoking so I had a small bowl filled with chewing gums, candies, etc. on my desk. Whenever I felt the urge to smoke I would just grab em.
My niece also enjoys them and I never mind at all.
Today my candy stock was gone and I was planning to refill them in the evening. My niece arrived to watch me play video games and she hand a handful of candies which she got from my Mum. I asked her for a candy and she flatly refused, so I told her, "Go away, I don't want to hang out with a miser". I admit I didn't really meant what I said to her but I was also annoyed. She left and I immediately regret that I told her off. She's just acting like a child after all but I think she's still angry at me during dinner.
AITA? ###### | YTA but I don't think anyone has ever quit smoking without being a bit of an asshole. ###### |
So because things are starting to open up, they’ve loosened the restrictions on gatherings in my country. To celebrate my brother recently graduating college, we decided to have a small barbecue.
We invited a few people who we knew took the quarantine seriously and probably weren’t sick, and one of them is vegan. We knew she was vegan but we told her when we invited her that there would be hamburgers and hot dogs.
Anyways, everybody came and everything went fine until we started eating. Our vegan friend brought her girlfriend with her as her plus one and her girlfriend began complaining that she was hungry. The problem is, she is vegan too. We didn’t have any fruits or vegetables in the kitchen, so we didn’t know what to do.
Her girlfriend got really mad at us and left without her partner because we didn’t provide her any food that she could eat. AITA for not providing anything? ###### | YTA but how do you not have a single vegetable/fruit/vegan food in your whole house???? you have to have scurvy or smth??? ###### |
I'm a cashier at my local supermarket and I live in the United States in a small town where about 50% of the population is hispanic. Most of them speak Spanish and English, varying in abilities in each language. I'm a white guy who also happens to speak both languages and I often speak to people in spanish if they prefer it. As a cashier at my local grocery store sometimes I make snap judgments as to what language people speak and most will tell me which they prefer if I get it wrong. Today, one person got pretty mad at me for assuming him and his family speaks Spanish. I quickly apologized and they went on their way. On the way out I heard him speak to his wife. In Spanish. AITA? ###### | YTA But a small one. You should never assume what language someone speaks because of how they look, those are some very dangerous grounds to get into in this day and age.
Unfortunately, the fact they did speak Spanish doesn't change the outcome, even if you were right.
Edit: Get a pin or something that says "I also speak Spanish!". This way they have to start, and you avoid assuming. ###### |
I was playing uno with my family, and I had to team with my sister. I didn't want to do this cause she was known for being absolutely awful at UNO, so I asked to do individuals, but my parents said no. The entire game, she ignored my directions, and at one point, even accused me of cheating.
Over the course of the game, she made me lose my UNO over 8 times, making my parents win the game. I was getting really annoyed, and she was playing the victim card knowing that my parents favor her. After the 9th time, I snapped, calling her an "INCOMPETENT SNAIL". she started crying, and everyone blamed me for it. I wouldn't have a reason to do that if she didn't not listen to my directions. AITA? ###### | YTA but ‘incompetent snail’ is pretty funny. ###### |
So I’m quite high up in the public sector and my friend, we’ll call him Don, broke the lockdown to take his wife Maria and their 4-year-old son out to a castle on her birthday. Don works for me so the rules don’t really apply to him and since it got out I’ve been put under incredible pressure to sack him. The thing is, I’ve been promoted way above my level of competence (mostly by demonstrating my private education with frequent use of Latin) and I can’t do my job without him. He’s a smashing chap who knows how to get things done, sticks it to the lefties and is happy to break all the rules to get me what I want/need. However I’m also quite vain and have a real need to be liked (particularly by the ladies) and am finding all this kerfuffle rather unedifying. My other friend Jacob suggested the proles on reddit could cheer me up with some support so here I am! I’m not an asshole for keeping Don on the payroll, am I? Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici ###### | Yta Boris. I can’t stress this enough. It’s not even about the post. You’re just an ass ###### |
I had a girlfriend in college that is to this day still the love of my life.
A couple years ago we reconnected face to face.
She’s been in trouble with the law and when she was incarcerated we wrote each other whenever we could and when she got out I got her a job at my business and helped pay for her first apartment.
We began talking about the fact that she became pregnant with my baby when we were dating but she miscarried. She told me that she didn’t tell me before but it’s a girl.
Around that time my wife got pregnant and happened to get pregnant right when I was going to call quits on our passionless marriage. We were barely having sex and I was only doing it with her out of pity for her constant nagging.
I felt so trapped by the baby and every day going home was like preparing myself for the hell that was playing house with a frigid emotional robot.
I was tortured by what could be and when the baby was born I realized the only way I could stand to stay in the sham that was my marriage was to have something to remind me of happiness. So I suggested the name “ Amber” and my wife agreed to the name.
Now my daughter is 7 and my wife discovered that I’ve been working everyday with my ex girlfriend and helping her secure food places to live.
She blew up and said she can’t even look at our daughter now. But when we were discussing names she was the frigid one who just shrugged at everything I said, and now she wants to put the blame back on me.
And she wants to rob me of the fact that most parents name their kids after something significant to them. Aka she wants me to pretend those feelings for my ex girlfriend never happened. That she can treat me snippily for years on end and still have 100 percent of my affection.
AITA? ###### | YTA big time
This sounds so ridiculous it has to be fake. How can you not realize how shitty and wrong this is? ###### |
This happened early in March and I've been constantly thinking back on this because I don't know if I was being an asshole in this situation or not.
I was out on my run at a large park that is near by. There is a playground near one of the edges, and behind it there are a bunch of short nature trails that lead out to a parking lot. I was running on one of these trails and coming from the direction of the playground, I saw a black woman (she looked around early 30's) holding the hand of a white child (he looked around 7-9).
Unfortunately I know this is coming off as discriminatory, but the white child was very pale and the black woman was very dark, so I figured he wasn't mixed and that she wasn't his mother.
I ran past them but I stopped. I wasn't sure if the child was being kidnapped, and I'd rather be called racist and be wrong than not say anything and be right. I walked back up to them and yelled "HEY" to make them stop. They both looked at me and I asked her "is this your child?"
The woman glared at me and said no, she's watching him. I ignored her and asked the child "do you know this woman?" He looked nervous and said "yeah" which made me more suspicious. She took his hand and kept walking and I followed them out to the parking lot. I yelled out to her "if you try to leave I'll call the fucking cops on you."
She got on her phone and she yelled back to me that she was calling the mother's child to pick up her kid and give her a ride back to her own home. About 10 minutes of waiting, another white women pulled up into the lot and they both glared at me (She had told the mother what was going on during the phone call).
I realize they probably think I am racist, but I didn't want the child to risk being harmed. ###### | YTA big time.
Do you not realize nanny’s exist? Babysitters? ADOPTION? Unless that child was screaming or pulling away looking terrified, you had absolutely no right to say shit.
You’re without a doubt racist as fuck and should be ashamed of yourself. ###### |
My younger brother is married to an Indian woman who is very nice, and I only have a single issue with. She will wear Indian clothes to family events even though we are white. She looks very out of place and I think its disrespectful to not dress according to what is required. When we go to weddings that request formal wear, she will wear a sari or a lengha (but nothing that overshadows or is more decorative than what other people are wearing). She says that she would prefer to spend money on clothes she will wear more often, and doesn't want to buy a new dress when she already has formal clothes for events.
If we go to events on her family's side, she will lend me and my daughter outfits. I offered to lend her an outfit but she said she prefers to wear her own clothes, and said she only offers me clothes so that I don't feel left out or out of place.
Some other family members think its odd as well. My cousin is getting married in December and my aunt asked me to bring it up with her. She said she doesn't want my SIL in a costume for the wedding and she has to dress appropriately or not come at all. AITA for telling her this or is she TA for not respecting a dress code? ###### | YTA big time.
"She will wear Indian clothes to family events even though we are white" yeah you're white, she's not. She is wearing clothes that are part of her culture and identity. And you all suck for trying to change that. She has every rigth to wear her clothes where ever she wants just like you are allowed to wear clothes that you wear. ###### |
I (34M) have been raising my sister (17F) for the past 7 years. Our mom passed away and had her via sperm donor, so I got custody. Our mother was a pretty wealthy person, with expectations for both of us. While we both have trust funds and college funds set up, our mom didn’t want us going to college for anything “frivolous” in her mind. She didn’t require me to go after a certain degree but said she wouldn’t pay for my college if it was pursued through the arts. I never wanted to get such a degree and ended up going into engineering. Before she died, she told me that she had put aside money for my sister’s education and that I could use it towards that, as long as she didn’t study the arts.
My sister is graduating this year and she’s been accepted into several colleges. Now, I’ve always known that my sister is artistically talented. She loves drawing and painting. When we last spoke, she wanted to get an architecture degree, which I felt fit her other talents as well. Then I found out she had applied to two universities’ art programs and she really wants to go. She would like to one day be an animator or storybook illustrator. The thing is, her college fund could pay for one of these universities but I know that it wasn’t what our mother had in mind. I told her that and said that I promised our mother I’d never use the money for that and if she wanted to major in it, she’d be on her own. My sister says that’s unfair because she’d be able to get no aid since I make too much (probably true) and she doesn’t want to be in debt.
I spoke with our grandmother and she thinks I’m being a nitpicky asshole. Yet my grandfather thinks I should stick to what my mother wants. The issue is she didn’t put it in writing. So, I could do with it what I wanted. AITA here if I don’t pay for my sister’s tuition? ###### | YTA big time. You are prioritizing the wishes of a dead family member, instead of the needs and future well-being of your currently very alive family member. I assure you, if your mother was alive and posted here saying "AITA for wanting to fund my kids' studies but only if they don't pursue an arts degree" she would be universally voted as an asshole and a controlling parent, [like these guys here from just today's example](https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fy3fyl/aita_for_how_my_wife_and_i_reacted_to_our/). ###### |
So my step daughter (20) moved in with me, my husband (her father) and our two children (13F & 15M) at the start of lockdown because I don’t know, she wanted to. She’s was adopted by my husband and his ex wife because her biological mom died when she was almost 5, and had been a druggie and things like that. She never had a dad. So it is understandable that she has some mental heath issues because of it. Sometimes she’ll just think too much and cry randomly, and other things. so she’s in therapy. She also sometimes has overreactions to anger and stuff. So here’s the situation. The other day I wanted to go out with my daughter for our daily walk, just mother and daughter. We do this 3-4 times a week. This time, (she has never asked before) my stepdaughter asked if she could come too, she could really do with a walk because of her anxiety and blah blah blah. I don’t think she should’ve asked because she still had chores to do and it was meant to be just me and my daughter. She said she would really like to come, but I said she hadn’t done her chores so she couldn’t come. She looked upset but just went off to her room. When we got back, I was tidying some stuff and went to check if her room was clean and found her crying. Honestly, I thought it was pathetic because it was only a walk and she could have just gone on her own after her walk. I walked back out, told my husband and he called me a massive jerk and went to go and console my stepdaughter. So AITA? ###### | YTA big time. Like that was way harsh, Tai. She was trying to connect to you as a human being and also to get outside and you exclude her? Like, you realize that this is a family and not high school. You can't tell her to sit at the other lunch table. Using the chores as an excuse us such weaksauce. She's 20, not a child. Plus, you wouldn't have wanted her to come even if she had finished them, so don't hide behind chores.
You clearly resent her for existing and, more to the point, you don't welcome her. She feels this. This will come between you and your husband and your marriage and you need to grow up and cut the mean girl crap out right now. Be more open to her when she's trying. And you apologize to her and make sure the next time you go for a walk, you do it with both of your daughters by explicitly and warmly asking her if she'd like to join you. Your life will be improved if you make effort to. Both of you have to build the bridge from each side if this is to work...and if you do, it will have been worth it. ###### |
Throwaway because my girlfriend knows my main.
I (30M) have been living with my girlfriend (27F) for a while and mostly it’s been great. The problem is this: she gets tension headaches from time to time. Not too often, but often enough. The way she prefers to deal with these headaches is wrapping an ace bandage around her head. She says it helps putting consistent pressure on her head. I asked her why she doesn’t just use ibuprofen she said it doesn’t always work and they happen frequently enough she doesn’t want to over-use it, besides.
This doesn’t make sense to me. It doesn’t just stop working sometimes. I just think she doesn’t want to take it and is making up reasons.
The problem I have with it is the ace bandages make her look ridiculous. Like a mummy and her hair gets all crazy. Sometimes she wraps them around her eyes too so she just lays there looking dead.
So today when she started wrapping her head I told her it looks dumb and offered her an ibuprofen. She tried to tell me she didn’t want it, but I told her I was less attracted to her when she wrapped her head up. I said it nicely, but she looked hurt and took the bandages off. She took the ibuprofen and unwrapped her head and we continued watching tv. Even an hour later she was still wincing like she had a headache and eventually she just got up, took the bandage, and went to our room. I asked what was up and she said she’d prefer to talk after her headache.
She’s making me feel guilty and like im TA but I was only being honest! I try to look nice for her, why wouldn’t she want to do that for me? ###### | YTA big time, I hate being that person to say it, but wtf you told her you find her less attractive with the bandage on her head while she’s in pain???? Wtf
And as someone who regularly gets migraines and tension headaches, no painkillers rarely work and get rid of the pain completely, she has her way to deal with it, let her, but I also suggest she see a doctor if she hasn’t already because she might have a trigger food that she doesn’t know but honestly you really hurt your girlfriend, you should go apologise to her and figure out a way for you to be out of her space when she gets headaches again. ###### |
This was about a week ago. I got into a minor car accident at a crossroads, car was a bit fucked and I was a bit shaken up but obviously everything was absolutely fine. I was on my way to work so I got a taxi to work and texted my girlfriend telling her I’d been in a car crash but it was nothing serious, turned my phone off and got to work. I work in a hospital so the hours are pretty intense.
I’m not the best at using my phone, and because my girlfriend lives in the town we go to college in, about three hours away, we don’t get to see each other that much during the summer. I got home from my shift that night and went to sleep, forgetting to charge my phone. I had 12 hour shifts the next couple days so just forgot about what had happened because I was so tired and went to sleep the second I got home from my shift.
Three days after the accident my best friend turns up at my house asking what the fuck had happened and whether I was okay. I was super confused because I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone other than my girlfriend. He then shows me his phone and my girlfriend had been just spamming him asking what was going on and whether I was okay and apparently she got super worried, which I do get, but I literally told her it was nothing serious.
She’s now extremely pissed off at me and saying she can’t trust me anymore and that I’m unreliable but she’s the one who got herself worked up over nothing. AITA? ###### | YTA because you're currently in an LDR and didn't check your phone for three days despite working in a hospital during a pandemic. She had reason to be worried unless you expressly told her it was just a fender bender ###### |
My sister (22f) was recently terminated from her sales clerk position. she worked enough hours to pay her bills and her share of rent with her roommate but had no savings. she's been a thorn in my side and the family's side this happening; crying, fits of anger, you get the idea
I have 2 kids, one who is on the spectrum (8m). the other is 5f. I've been searching and searching for a sitter/tutor to get some down time for myself. I saw this as a win win situation and offered my sister to watch my kids a few times the week. of course I wouldn't be able to pay her as much as she needed but it would be something to hold her over until she found something else.
before I can even get into it she rejects my offer. I try again a week later and again she says no. but of course she's whining to our parents about having no job. UM WHAT?! I finally call her out at the easter reunion saying I offered a job as a sitter/tutor and she rejected it so obviously she's not that desperate. she got snappy back and said yeah I want a real job, not working with your bratty, unbehaved kids so you can paint your nails and sit on your ass all day
I was livid and my husband had to get her out of the house before I did something rash. I text her later that day that I have no sympathy for the situation she PUT HERSELF INTO and have told my parents not to give her the slightest pity either. Her behavior is disgusting when all I was trying to do was help ###### | YTA because you should have dropped it after she said no the first time. Not everyone wants to work with kids, and not everyone wants to work for their family. Telling your parents that she can't find a job is not a blanket statement of "I will take any work offered by anyone" ###### |
So, just to preface, my younger sisters (16&13 respectfully) eat all the 'normal' kinds of meat - sausages, bacon, steak, etc. However, my dad asked me to cook a stew and I'd never tried lamb's heart before (my dad has and absolutely enjoys it, so had no issue, but knew my sisters would refuse to even try it), so we told them it was normal steak. Anyway, after they'd eaten it and enjoyed it, I told them what they'd actually eaten and now my younger sister is refusing to talk to me. Am I the asshole?
It's healthier, leaner and tastes the same. Plus, my dad had no issue with it. ###### | YTA because you gave them food and lied about what it was. It doesn't really matter what your opinion on whether they should like it or not was, in fact it's actually a little worse that you knew they wouldn't have chosen to eat it.
Don't get me wrong, I think it's pretty dumb / hypocritical too to eat some parts of some animals but be super morally opposed to others, but, people are entitled to their own opinions.
There's probably somewhere you draw the line about what meat is morally acceptable and what isn't too. Would you eat dog, for example? If someone told you they were giving you a steak and you found out after that it was actually dog meat, would you perhaps think that was a little out of order? You can't enforce your opinions on other people like that and not be TA unfortunately. ###### |
I love my wife, I really do. We’ve been married since we were 19, together since we were thirteen and have three children together. Our eldest is a thirteen year old girl, and we have two boys aged 7 and 5. Our sons are pretty much carbon copies of me, whereas our daughter is the carbon copy of her mother.
My wife has pretty severe ADHD, is extremely messy, has a major attitude sometimes and is incredibly forgetful and sporadic. She wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until she was 21, and struggled a lot during her childhood, so we were extra cautious to look for covert signs with our daughter.
The older our daughter gets, the more she is displaying very obvious ADHD traits to me. Whether they are or not, she’s extremely forgetful, unmotivated, messy, has absolutely no coordination. Like it was with my wife in the beginning, I found it endearing. Now I find it extremely frustrating. Our daughter is currently on an ADHD assessment waiting list.
Last night my wife and I were in bed talking about our daughter, as she’s recently told us she’s got a new boyfriend. I ended up saying that I noticed she’s been really forgetful recently, and my wife laughed and said “she’s got that from me” and I said “don’t know why you’re laughing like it’s a good thing, it’s pissing me off”. She stopped laughing and apologised but seemed really upset. I’ve tried to apologise but it’s true, it’s not a good thing. AITA? ###### | YTA because you display no concern about how your daughter’s traits affect her, only about how they anger you. Also, no child is a carbon copy of a parent, start seeing your children as three individuals rather than clones of your wife and yourself. ###### |
A bit of backstory, im on mobile so sorry for format. So my daughter (23 F) doesnt leave her room much at all. She tends to play video games way too much as she says it helps her depression. I frequently ask her to sit outside with me in our garden as a bit of sunshine might help her feel better yet she always refuses either saying she doesnt want to or shes busy playing games with her friends. I recently bought a hammock for my husband and my daughter took a liking to it. She has sat in it every day since. Today she asked if i would sit outside with her and i refused saying im busy watchinng TV. She got a little offended and said i always ask her to go outside and now she is i wont sit with her. Am i the asshole for not going outside with her? ###### | YTA because you are the parent, and your kiddo finally showed interest in doing the thing you have been trying to get her to do.
It's a discouraging response, not a supportive one. ###### |
I can’t remember if it was a weeknight or not which is relevant but oh well.
Regardless the park closes at 11 and some kids were gathered being super loud and smoking weed which I didn’t mind until after the park closed and I got fed up. So I decided to take action. I put my speaker outside of my window, blasted the hamster dance song, and waited. Five minutes later I stopped and they had gone! Am I the Asshole? They weren’t hurting anyone just being annoying late at night and I was def a dick but was I the asshole? ###### | YTA because you also were blasting it to your neighbors. ###### |
For context, we are in our late 20’s.
I had headphones on and was watching some NSFW context. My girl came home from work earlier than expected and caught me doing it.
The first thing she does is ask a series of questions. The conversation goes like so:
Her: *Is this the stuff you usually watch?*
Me: *Uh... it varies*
Her: *Do you think she is prettier than me..?*
Me: *I am not really comparing.*
Her: *Be honest!*
Me: *What do you want me to say now?!*
Her: *Tell the truth, would you cheat for her?*
Me: *The opportunity has not happened, idk..*
Her: *Would you be with her instead if she had my same personality? Do not lie to me please*
Me: *Possibly*.
Her: *So you would prefer some barely legal teen looking girl to me..?!*
Me: *Most guys would. She is hot*.
To that she stormed out. I have not texted her because I have no idea what to say anymore.
I get that I was a jerk, but I also think that shit games get shit prizes. She is the type of girl to ask these hypotheticals a lot and it is getting a bit exhausting to tell white lies to cater to her insecurities. It is not the first time she has asked me if I would leave her for someone younger, hotter, cheat, etc.
I was finally being honest and even if I had not, my answer would not have been enough. ATA?
TLDR: Girlfriend kept asking me questions because she is insecure. Was I too honest? ###### | YTA because when she asked if you would CHEAT on her, you really didn’t say no? Come on. What were you thinking. ###### |
We don’t live together yet, but we will be moving in together in 4 years once I complete my doctorate degree. He knows I will be bringing my cat with me when we move in, and he knows my cat hates big dogs (my cat once sent me to the ER because a 40lb dog jumped up to say hello while I was holding my cat, and my cat climbed onto my face out of fear). And now my cat will be living with a 120lb Pyrenees in a few years. I do indeed want a big dog eventually, but I was hoping to get one as a pup (once I’m already living with my partner) so my cat wouldn’t feel threatened if he could witness the pup grow up into its full size.
But my boyfriend impulsively kept a Pyrenees puppy given to his family, and he’s chosen to keep the puppy as his own without consulting me on my opinion. I understand I can’t tell him what to do since it’s his dog and his house (and perhaps it’s hypocritical of me since I have my own pet I’m looking out for), but I’m upset that he’s making this decision that will heavily affect me and my cat.
Edit: thanks for the input everyone. Definitely seems like I’m the asshole here. I’ve already offered to help puppy-proof my boyfriend’s house and help him find a vet to get started on scheduling a neuter, microchip, and vaccines. We’re going to acclimate our pets via scent until the pup is fully vaccinated and can safely visit my backyard for a meet and greet with my cat. ###### | YTA because ultimately this won’t be a problem for another four years. I think it’s bit unrealistic to ask someone to hold off on something for four years. Why not introduce the two now while the dog is young? Start slow, swap blankets that have the animal scents, etc. ###### |
So, I'm going to be in high school next year, and I know for a fact my schedule will be extremely, extremely busy: I'm taking 4 APs, playing varsity soccer (tryouts have already happened for next year's fall sports) and year-round competitive club lacrosse, am going to join the debate team, and have an internship with our governor.
​
My goal is eventually to get into a top school like Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, or Georgetown, and I only see my schedule getting busier and busier as the years go on. So I figured I should try to get rid of any distractions that could get in the way of my productivity, and decided to come up with a list. At the top of the list was the TV and the xbox, and I convinced my parents to get rid of them by telling them it would help my productivity.
​
The problem is, this made my older sister pissed at me. She watches a lot of Netflix, and is pissed at me. I literally don't see why-- if she wants to watch Netflix, she can do so on her laptop. But she keeps complaining about how it 'isn't the same' on a smaller screen. I really think she's making too much of big deal over this.
​
AITA? ###### | YTA because living in a shared house it's not all about you and what you want. Learn to work through the distractions ###### |
I broke up with my GF a few months ago. I started dating a girl lately, but I always said that I might still have feelings for my ex. So the dates turned out more like friendship which was okay for us both. We started talking about amusement parks and soon decided that we would go there together. So she bought a ticket for about 50€, which is a considerable amount for her. I myself didn't have to pay for the ticket because I am a club member of said park.
When we messaged via WhatsApp she always said how she couldn't await our "dates", asked for massages in return for nice things from her, etc. It seemed to me as though she would go further than just friendship.
Because of dating her, I once more realized that I still have feelings for my ex and it somehow felt wrong. And so I decided that it would be better to end all the dating with her. I sent her a message explaining the situation and that I fear that it will only get worse once we go further than just friendship. She quickly replied that I was misinterpreting things and that she always said that there won't be more coming from her. That is true, but literally she just said, that *she* won't do more, but it always sounded to me like an excuse for not taking the first step and that she would be grateful when I take the first step.
In the end she said, that I should pay her back the ticket fee. I proposed that she could ask another one to go with her, but apparently she found no one. So she insisted that, but I did not and instead blocked here, because it turned into a constant rant about how I misinterpreted things and how unfair it was.
AITA for not paying her the entry fee back?
Emotionally I'd say yes, I am the asshole. But rationally I'd say I am not, because I was being honest and I didn't ordered her to buy the ticket. ###### | YTA because if you have to preface a date with
>I always said that I might still have feelings for my ex
then you shouldn't be dating other people. Pay her back for leading her on. ###### |
Recently I've been talking to a girl who's gorgeous, sweet, funny, and we get along really well. The only downside between us is that we have a big height difference. She's about 5' 2", and I'm 6' 4". I asked her once if she thought we would work out given our height difference. She said that it didn't bother her and I think I hurt her feelings by asking this because she's insecure about being short. I really like her and I didn't mean to upset her, but it's a genuine concern for me because I feel as though doing things like kissing, hugging, or even holding hands would be awkward with such a big difference. Should this be an issue and AITA? ###### | YTA because I’m pretty sure this is some kind of bait.
But if it’s not I’m 5 foot nothing and my boyfriend is 6’5 and nothing you mentioned has been an issue. You’re allowed to have preferences but if you really like her why not give it a shot? ###### |
This will sound really stupid, but last year my wife and I made a bet where the winner got to choose the name for our baby. This was right before we were going to start trying and at the point where we have four finalists - two girl names and two boys names which we each liked. Those were the four finalists we agreed on but we were split about which one to chose for a boy or girl.
My wife and I are pretty competitive people, so she asked me if I'd be willing to bet for the choices. If she won, we'd use one of the two names she preferred and vice-versa.
I lost, and now that we're pregnant and soon to give birth she wants me to honor my bet, but I feel like what we did was crazy and it's not reasonable to hold me to this. I think we should sit down and pick a name we are both happy with rather than stick with one of these, but she doesn't see it this way. She thinks I am being the asshole for going back on a bet, but I think something this important should be something we both are happy with. ###### | YTA because I doubt you'd be having second thoughts had you won. ###### |
My wife and I were driving to work this morning. We live near the harbour and the port authority has an empty parking lot across the street. There isn't any houses for about 100 or so meters, but we were driving by and saw this lady with a city provided garbage can down there. She was taking all the contents out and throwing it all around (literally everywhere surrounding the garbage can). We told the lady "I hope you're going to be cleaning that up" and she did the scoff and disregarding hand wave.
So on the way to work, we called non emergency to just report it. No answer. I called 911 and told them what happened and that I had tried to call non emergency but no answer. She told me I needed to call back let non emergency know. Okay, whatever, I try again and no answer. I call 911 back and give the details, and after I have given the location, situation and what not, I told him I tried calling non emergency but no one answered so I just didn't know what to do other than call them. He tells me the same thing as before: "Were not going to do anything, you need to call non emergency" (paraphrased). I told him I tried and that I wanted to get this sorted out. He gets aggressive and says (again, paraphrased) "Do not call this number again. We will not discuss this. Do you understand". I say "This is ridiculous that you won't even log it, but fine whatever".
Just headed home to pick up kids, and guess what's spread all over the parking lot with no one or their shopping cart in sight. It angers me that someone has to go down and clean up after her. I get that people go through the garbage, but leaving the mess for someone else is ridiculous.
Anyways...
So, I believe that I might've been an asshole for calling 911, but I also believe that, because I wasn't able to reach anyone at non-emergency, 911 was the only other option. Then again, non-emergency is just that: not an emergency. So I'm conflicted, am I the ass hole. ###### | YTA because as you yourself recognize, 911 is for actual emergencies.
Get a sense of perspective.
If you want to improve your Karma over this situation - go to the parking lot and pick up the trash, yourself. ###### |
Throwaway
I have two boys one is age 8 and one is age 14. I have one girl who is age 12. Me and my son recently moved out from our apartment to our new house with my husband. The house has three bedrooms one for us and two for kids. I plan to give one full bedroom to a girl because I feel it's not a good idea to put girls and boys.
My son before we moved used to have a full bedroom so he is a little upset about that. Anyway it's a few weeks after we finished the arrangement and got the house in order. My son has been complain that he needs to have the room that my daughter got and I refused.
My son has been saying that it's been near impossible to sleep in the shared room cause his half brother is so noisy and that I read his half brother a book so that he can fall asleep. He complained about how his half brother messes with his things and distracts him from learning and studying his ap classes. I refused and told him he has to learn to live with what he got after he asked me why can't half brother move in with half sister. My son has stopped talking to me.
These are the only available sleep arrangements as the attic is filled to the brim with stuff and the 1 car garage is filled with equipment and a car. My son also has started bullying his half sister because of the sleeping arrangements now and refuses to listen or follow with me when I ground him'
edit - title should have been aita for giving my 12 your old daughter her own room but making my son share a room with his half brother. Sorry for the typo ###### | Yta bc of your comments. Clearly you don't care about your son, you're just mad that he's acting out. ###### |
My brother and his wife were doing their pregnancy announcement with the family through Zoom today. They're expecting twin girls in a few months. I asked my boyfriend and his kids if they wanted to join in. They all said "Sure."
Unfortunately, my sister in law was more way over the top than I expected her to be. She's not normally super expressive about her emotions or affection (even with my brother, or so he says) but during the call, she gushed about how excited she was about being able to spoil her two little girls and all that.
I could sort of tell that his daughter (his kids' mom comes in and out of their lives every few years and has never been consistently involved) was becoming upset, so I took her aside and told her she could leave and we'd understand. However, she chose to stay for the entire Zoom call and held it together.
After the Zoom call, however, she started crying and has been doing so for hours. She's obviously really upset, and initially, I was super patient about comforting her, but I'm getting increasingly tired. She asked if I'd sleep in the same bed as her tonight, and I told her that I wouldn't feel comfortable doing so and needed to sleep ASAP in my own bed.
That seemed to make her more upset, and my boyfriend went in and talked to her, confirming my assumption. AITA in this situation? ###### | YTA based on a combination of the post and your other comments. It doesn’t sound like you have a lot of empathy. ###### |
I (28f) have trouble with social interactions. Some time I say things with a tone that sounds really rude without realizing it. I think I'm being playful or helpful given the situation. My husband (30m) has only recently told me that I do this and thats why people get upset with me so often. I was upset that he hadn't told me sooner (we have been together 11 years) but I got over that part and asked him to correct me at the time I do it to help me realize when I am and to apologize for it. He has not been doing it. He tells me after the fact like when we get in the car or get home. The last time we were in Wal-Mart and the cashier seemed New and was having trouble doing something on the register. I have worked for the company for 6 years now so I understand how hard it can be at the register. I thought I was trying to be nice and explained what she was doing wrong after she was getting frustrated. She had gotten mad at me for it. As we were leaving my husband told me I was rude for telling her how to do her job and my tone. I got mad and asked why he didn't tell me at the time. He said he didn't wanna start a scene. Am I the Asshole for yelling at him in the car for not helping me fix my people problem? ###### | YTA as you and you alone are responsible for your behavior.
But you guys need a keyword to make corrections easier and unobtrusive.
Like "Octopus." ###### |
During Freshman year of HS, my twin sister and I made a deal that whoever had the lower rank had to do the other person’s chores. We’re both extremely academic focused people, so that’s probably a reason. Our mom agreed to this, and we made a full on contract.
Fast forward to Junior year. So far, I’ve always been higher, but barely. I’m currently ranked 2nd in our school while my sister is ranked 3rd. Doing a bit of calculating, we figured out that my sister is just a single tenth of a percent lower than me. She wants to be done with the deal so that she doesn’t have to do my chores. I disagree, it’s fun hanging out with my friends(virtually).
She complained to our mom, and she just said that my sister and I have to make a mutual agreement to amend to contract. That’s perfect for me, since the contract is already perfect.
She probably complained because school is about to be over, and she would have to do chores all over the summer.
My sister just called me an asshole.
So, AITA? Either way, I’m not amending the contract. ###### | YTA as well as your parents.
Why they would allow the competition, the contract etc to continue between you both for so long is gross.
You sound entitled and spoiled. Seems like you also enjoy bullying your twin.
Hopefully she realizes one day you give her “nothing of value” and cuts your toxic crap out of her life.
Sibling rivalry and being a jerk isn’t cute. Grow up. ###### |
I have a 23 year old son who is married and currently staying with us due to financial issues, and a 19 year old daughter who is home from college. My wife has been having bouts of crying recently. She just began menopause so I'm sure that has something to do with it, but I do think there are underlying issues that the hormones brought out. She has told me that she feels like she wasted her life, because she was a stay at home mom and she is not happy with how the children turned out.
We are both Palestinian. She was born in Israel and I was born in the US, but neither of us wanted our children to be too westernized. She feels like she failed to keep the balance and that our children have no respect for their culture. Our son married a white woman (we don't care about that), left Christianity and his wife is a very vocal atheist. My wife can't stand having her in the house. Our daughter considers herself a political activist and has turned her back on everything her mother has taught her.
My wife got into a little fight with our DIL last night over mascara (I wish I was kidding) and stormed off in tears. Our daughter made a comment about how high maintenance her mom is and I told them both to leave her alone, she is going through a lot. My son wanted to know, so I was honest that she feels like they've turned their backs on our culture and that she is disappointed. Now both kids are mad at their mother and my wife is mad at me, but I still think they deserved to know. ###### | YTA and your wife. Basically you two are lamenting that your children aren’t your clones and have their own independent thoughts and beliefs. ###### |
The title sounds really vulgar but my ”stepmom” is 29 and she has always tried to boss me around and still at 18 does it and I have had enough.
Today I just couldn’t take it anymore when she tried to make me come eat lunch even though I wasn’t hungry. She insisted like I was a 5 year old.
I snapped and told her to fucking leave me alone and suck my dad’s dick. She just left me alone crying. ###### | YTA and your title sounds vulgar because what you said to your step mom was vulgar. It was also uncalled for. She did nothing to warrant that type of response. ###### |
Ok, let me explain! A few pieces of information about me needed first. I am a 33 year old single female, I live on my own and one big thing about me is that I don't and have never wanted kids - this is hard for some people to grasp but I have no maternal feelings, I plain don't like kids/babies and I won't apologies for it!
Ok so now that's explained here's what happens. I live next door to a couple who has three children, two girls around 6-8 years old and a baby. On a number of occasions all I can hear is the kids screaming and while I don't really care about it in the day/afternoon but when the baby wakes me at 2 in the morning I get angry quickly! I get that having a baby is hard and sometimes they just cry but, as harsh as it sounds, that's not my problem and I just want to sleep! So a few times when the crying going on and on and on I have played loud metal music a few times through my iPhone (no speakers just through the phone) and put it next to the wall. It really worked with only one or two song and the crying actually stopped! However, the last time I did it I notably heard that they must have moved the kid to another room away from the wall that is next to my room, like they couldn't get the crying to stop but I made them feel bad so they moved the kid as far away as possible. This made me feel a little bad but at the same time they have woken me multiple times. So am I the asshole for using music to shut kids up?
(for those who want to know the music used, I think I have used Cattle Decapitation, Lamb of God, Meshuggah, Make Them Suffer and Amon Amarth) ###### | YTA and you sound edgy as fuck. Use white noise (like a big box fan) and earbuds. You could also talk to your neighbors, like an adult, and explain that your room is right next to the baby's room and see who would have the easier time moving their room.
The world doesn't revolve around you. You're just as much of an asshole for purposefully blasting music through a shared wall as they are for having a crying baby wake you up through a shared wall. ###### |
Throwaway cause my girlfriend is on reddit.
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So my girlfriend and I were out for the dinner tonight and after we both finished my plate was clean and she still had a decent amount of food left. I was still hungry, and we often share food so I asked her if I could have what was left of hers. This happens a lot and she always says yes, but this time she said no and explained she wanted to save it for lunch the next day.
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I was somewhat surprised by this because it's never happened before, but also I was paying for dinner! I feel that since I was still hungry at that point in time I should get the food I was paying for. I have no problem buying my girlfriend food whenever and I buy her meals pretty frequently, but I just kinda feel entitled to the leftovers if I'm still hungry. Also we're partners, she should care that I'm still hungry and let me have the food. I don't know if I expressed myself very well because when I raised my points my girlfriend said "Just listen to yourself" and still got a to-go box for her food. I was annoyed by this but decided to drop it so things didn't escalate more in public, but I have to admit it's still bugging me hours later. AITA? ###### | YTA and WTF. Order some more food for yourself if you're still hungry. You don't get to literally eat someone's meal just because you want it. You paid for it ostensibly out of generosity and not because you want to hold it over her head when you want to take her food. ###### |
So last summer my boyfriend (20M) went on an archeological dig in Central America with his professor. He was to be there on the dig with her for 2 weeks and then travel as a tourist with a friend (independent of the professor or university) for 3 weeks. I was having a pretty rough time mental health wise back home and had asked him to call or at least text every night, just so I at least knew he was okay.
He missed one night and the following night I asked him what happened and if everything was okay. He said that he and his professor had gone out the previous night clubbing/bar-hopping and then ended up getting really drunk and spending the night at a stranger's house.
I was of course angry at him for being inconsiderate and overall unfeeling about my position, but I was also concerned that the professor had engaged in this behavior with him. After a few weeks I anonymously reported what had happened to the university--I just couldn't get it out of my head, what would I do if in a few years there was a story of someone being hurt because of them and I hadn't done anything about it? When my boyfriend found out he blew up at me and called me petty, selfish, and dangerous, and that he would never be able to trust or love me again.
This has been several months ago now, but it still hurts. Was I in the wrong? In hindsight I wish I had spoken in person with the head of the department and told by bf what I was going to do before I did it, but I still think it was right to say something. He says no and that I have too much faith in authority and that my morals are guided by just whatever the law/rule. I don't think that at all (if I did wouldn't I have reported him for dealing weed long ago?) but I love him so much, and I believe he loved me. AITA? ###### | YTA and thats a bananas thing to do. I think your boyfriend is being generous. I don’t think you’re too rigid about rules, I think you were jealous and trying to blow up this woman’s professional life as revenge. There was no evidence she slept with your boyfriend, which I think is what you suspect, or that she knows you exist. Your boyfriend may not have been a great guy, and he may have cheated or been trying to cheat, but in any case, I’m not surprised he dumped you for being so catastrophic. Why not contact the woman at very least?
Edit: typo ###### |
A friend of mine is getting married to this chick through an arranged marriage. He is really naieve when it comes to women and to top it off he doesn't know that much about her. Call her Nikki. Now, my buddy's mom actually told me and my girlfriend that if we know Nikki or people in her family to let us know, mainly because in Indian arranged marriages it is about marrying the whole family not just two people.
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I didn't know her like that but from what I do know is that she was a regular at frat parties when we went to school. And from what I know too that she was super into white guys. And just on FB she untagged herself from a lot of photos but she is friends with a ton of the guys.
I told my buddy, hey man I know your girlfriend said she went to school and that she spent all of her time studying and never partying... but here is what I found. And that her story that she is a virgin I really doubt that, for a fact she said she never drinks but there are pictures of her with alcohol. And that he should know.
​
This spread a lot in his family, but now they are deciding to stick it out anyways, and some people in his family are REALLY upset with me for bringing this information to light? Mainly his cousins. I just followed his mom why am I the bad guy? ###### | YTA and sexist af ###### |
Hello all! I'm in a bit of a pickle and am curious about your judgement.
I (M21) recently was drinking with my flatmates, my girlfriend (F20) and a friend of one of my flatmates (let's call him "Ben"). Ben and I began talking-- we shared some great conversation, and after a while I became tired and went to bed with my GF. While we were getting ready for bed I remarked that, had I not been in a relationship, I probably would have hit on Ben a little bit. She was clearly quite hurt by this, told me that it suggested she wasn't enough and gave me the cold shoulder. Even after explaining that it was only a passing thought, I love her dearly, and do not feel anything for anyone else, sje still was deeply bothered by this.
Now, clearly I'm not going to do something like this again-- it makes my gf uncomfortable and it'd be wholly inconsiderate to just ignore that. However, is it a jerk move to tell your partner that you find someone attractive in passing? Is this just an individual boundary to respect? Is she uncomfortable with my bisexuality (something that I've told her about in the past)?
Thanks! ###### | YTA and not for finding Ben attractive, but for the "had I not been in a relationship, I would have hit on blank" part. There's ways to discuss people's attractiveness with your partner without making them feel like you don't want to be in a relationship with them. ###### |
For reference, I live in Texas.
For april fools, I thought it would be funny if a couple friends and I dressed up, and pranked our friend who’s a DACA recipient. His parents are undocumented despite coming here a long time ago; they also speak only spanish, and very broken english. The timing for this prank was perfect because ICE is doing raids etc.
I got 2 other guys with me, who he doesn’t know, and we dressed up officially with sunglasses etc. We even printed out a fake warrant.
We went over to their apartment at 7, and started banging on their door. We said “This is ICE here, we got a tip off on an undocumented couple living here. We have a warrant signed off by (XYZ). You have the right to remain silent as anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law” etc. We could hear them visibly panicking, and it took everything in us to keep a straight face.
We took the prank to the next level by saying, “do not attempt to run away, as we have law enforcement surrounding the area”. We bang some more, yell OPEN UP etc. Then my friend comes out, and I say April fools, gotcha. And we throw confetti at him. He was LIVID. He unfriended me on EVERYTHING after I tried reaching him. I texted him at 9, then 10, and it’s now almost 1 now. I didn’t think the prank would backfire this badly, as I come from a prankster family. Every year we’d play pranks on each other. I understand i took it too far, but is it really worth ending a friendship of over 16 years because of this?
So, AITA for this prank that backfired badly? ###### | YTA and I am baffled how you do not see that. Your friend likely has a very real fear of his family being broken up in this manner and you treated it as a joke for your own amusement. It isn't a joke to him or his parents, who by the way certainly did nothing to deserve the stress you no doubt put them through.
This isn't a prank that backfired, it went exactly as you expected it to and you're just upset that you're rightfully experiencing consequences for your shitty behavior. ###### |
So, my mother (39F) brought a new dog about a year ago. She knew I (19F) was uncomfortable with getting a new dog given that we already own 2 cats. When i first met it she could tell i was pissed but decided not to address it and told me the dog was named 'Lucy'.
I got more annoyed over this as time went on with her not bothering to train the girl, and eventually I decided I'd do something to fuck with her. Whenever I addressed her, I instead of saying 'Lucy' I would either say 'Obama' or 'war criminal'. I even got my siblings in on the joke and it kept going until eventually my mother asked me to 'please call her Lucy, this joke isn't funny'. I didn't listen to her and we all kept going.
It has now been a year since we got our little war criminal and Obama seems to love her new name. She know doesn't respond to being called Lucy, despite my mothers efforts.
She says this was horrible and I've damaged our relationship by embarrassing her so much, but I feel that my actions were completely warranted. So AITA? ###### | Yta and extreamly immature. ###### |
I pay the internet bill for my household. My internet company lets me sort every Wifi- connected device we have into different profiles. My brother, sister and I each have our own profiles that I can set time limits on. Since we’ve been stuck in the house more than usual these past few months I have set time a daily time limit of 5 hours for each of us so that I don’t have to pay the crazy data overage fees. My sister and I mostly just stream a couple episodes of a show or a movie each day so we never meet our time limits but my brother has had a really hard time with it since he basically spends his entire day gaming and meets the time limit pretty early on in the day. He has asked me to extend his time limit several times so I made a deal with him that he has to clean the shared bathroom twice a week (sundays and thursdays) and I’ll extend his daily time limit to 7 hours. (For reference, my brother doesn’t help clean the house at all - and he leaves the bathroom in a disgusting state almost every time he uses it)
He agreed to the deal and did well for a week but he didn’t clean the bathroom this past sunday so I took his hours back down to 5. He ended up cleaning the bathroom today and asked me to go back up to 7 but I told him I would keep it at 5 until thursday when he can clean the bathroom again to work back up to 7, as per our deal. He is furious with me, saying that I’m being completely unfair and I heard him yelling in his room, throwing things around and slamming doors. I told him that if he kept behaving this way I would keep him at 5 hours indefinitely. I feel like my brother’s reaction is not appropriate at all and I’m thinking about adding on more chores in order for him to earn the 7 hours. Am I being a total asshole? ###### | Yta and a liar. This isnt about data, this is about you wanting to control another human being. You are not his parent. Back off. ###### |
I'm a single dad, 43 years old. Computer programmer. My son, let's call him Jack, is 17 years old. Jack's mom died when he was 10, but thankfully we both handled our grief together quite well.
When Jack got his first laptop, five years ago, I took my time explaining how the internet worked, the dangers, etc. I allowed him to create a social media account, as long as he allowed me to check on it whenever I wanted, which was a privilege I made use of a few times until he turned 15 and I realized I could trust him, having never asked for it since then. He allowed me to know where he stored his account passwords just in case, but I never really looked for them, so his social media and computer activity have been a complete mystery to me in the last couple of years.
However, I was always fearful he would try to hide something or get into something dangerous, so I installed a keylogger just in case, always thinking about his safety. I never had to use it and, the more I watched him grow up, I eventually I realized I would never really use it, but I never bothered to remove it.
My sister and I were talking about this in a casual conversation regarding privacy and privacy apps and my niece overheard us (they were born the same year). She got offended I would do such a thing, claiming it was a horrible invasion of Jack's privacy, and that I should be ashamed, and the only reason she hasn't told my son was because my sister told her she'd ground her for meddling in my parenting.
So, reddit. AITA for having installed a keylogger even though I never had to use it? ###### | Yta all the way. That’s an enormous invasion of his privacy ###### |
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