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Ok so this happened a few months ago, I have 2 kids, one is 5 and one is 3.
The whole family went over to my brothers house for my Dads birthday, anyway we were having a great time and I put the kids upstairs with some sandwiches while the adults talked.
So later on my brother went to get the kids down to play a board game, and he found that they had broken his gaming console (an old Nintendo one) and there were sandwich bits in the cartridge slot, he held it together in front of the kids but pulled me aside and really chewed me out.
He yelled about how much he loved that console and how it had been with him since he was 6 years old (our Dad bought it for him after a business trip) .
So he got pissed and wanted me to buy him a new one, o don’t get why as it was just a console and the games were old anyway. He demanded that I buy him one to replace it but I told him he needs to grow up and stormed out of the room.
AITA? ###### | YTA 100%. You were a guest in his home. You irresponsibly left your YOUNG kids wander upstairs. Young kids no matter the parenting are guaranteed to do stupid shit. It doesnt matter if he "knew you all were coming" and "should have protected it better," you caused destruction in someone else's home and should kindly reimburse him for it, lest you never see the inside of his home again after this. ###### |
I'm American, of mostly Irish or German descent i dont know nor do i really give a shit. I went to University in Poland and Lithuania and I speak both languages and know the countries really well since i spent a lot of time there.
I am back in the US at the moment and I was at a work event and everyone had name tags. Someone came over towards us and introduced himself to us, i was with the CEO and and few other higherups and his manager among other people. He says "hi I'm first name Szymczyk and I work in this section, i think we will be working together"
I asked him, I'm sorry what is your last name? I can see that on his name tag its Szymczyk but he pronounced horribly wrong. He's obviuosly Polish American but from like 4 or more generations ago as he pronoucned it completely wrong. He pronounced it like "Zim Zack" when its really pronounced more like "Shim Chick"
I could his name tag and I asked "umm your name tag says Szymczyk (pronounced correctly" and he says no my last name is Szymczyk "zim zack" I know how to pronounce my own last name.He kept saying imrude and im a jackass for telling him how to pronounce his own last name. Everyone else is looking really confused and find it weird. I then told him I lived in Poland and I speak Polish and I have friends with the same last name, i know how its pronounced and I then pulled out google translate and it was pronounced exactly like I said. His manager starts lauging his ass off while most of the other people are at least smiling a bit. He walks away and goes to get a drink
Some of the people said i shouldn't have embarassed him like that and i was an asshole but i dont think so. It defeintly left a very bad impression on his new manager and the CEO who he met for the first time. ###### | YTA 100%. I hope the bad impression from the CEO and manager were on you because that was rude. You’re literally this person “I spent a year abroad so I know everything...”. Get over yourself and next time mine your business. ###### |
I try and stay fit. Keep some dumbells and bench inside my house. Work out 5-6 times Week at home currently. I think it has been start to rub off on her. She has joined past 3 days. Which I admire her for. If you want to change your life, take action. She has. Props to her.
Today was I working on my core. Push ups, Plank's, sit ups. 10 sets of 6 for all these, 60 reps. She joined a little late I'm my sets, I already had 40 reps done, i wasn't going to make her 60 reps. Told her just in where I'm at. I get my set in, she's doing her pushups but only was able to do 4 legit ones. I didn't say anything. Time for Plank's I, I do my minute. Her turn. She only lasted 27 seconds, which again I didn't say nothing. Left it alone. Last one is sit-ups, I do my 10, her turn only able to 6 legit ones without moving feet. This is where I say "Wheww you have long way too go". she said sorry, Her energy wasn't really the same after that.
After we actually get done with everything, she told me that comment made her feel bad. I told her I'm just trying to push you to work harder". I can't get everyone has to start somewhere but she isn't overly overweight or obese. When you ask or join me to work out I expect the same energy. Yes it the thought the counts but also it's the action too. You want to work out with me, I'm going to push you like how I would push myself. ###### | YTA — at best cluelessly, unintentionally, but still YTA
> You want to work out with me, I'm going to push you like how I would push myself.
Do you want to work out alone? Because thats how you work out alone.
Actually, hold up...
> This is where I say “Wheww you have long way too go”. she said sorry, Her energy wasn’t really the same after that
Do you want to be alone? Because thats how you get to be alone.
You are not being helpful, you are “just being honest,” you are not even providing constructive criticism, just criticism.
Congratulations, you chipped away at the beginners motivation you gave her props for. Well done. ###### |
My younger is 14 and has been giving both my parents the sudden silent treatment and avoiding them. My parents are very confused and concerned and asked me to find out what's going on with them. I asked my brother and he told me he doesn't want to talk to them because his voice has deepen very quickly and noticeable (almost as deep as mine and my dad's) and he doesn't want our parents especially our dad making an issue about it and asking him questions about puberty. He told me not to tell them the real reason and to just tell them he's not mad or upset. He's also looking up ways to prevent his voice from getting deep.
I thought about telling the real reason because giving them a general answer isn't going to stop them from trying to figure it out. ###### | YTA
Your brother is going to have to talk to them eventually but if he asked you not to tell them and it isn't something putting him in danger I think breaking his trust would be an asshole thing to do. You're going to need the trust later when he starts dealing with more serious shit. ###### |
Yes you read that title correctly and no I’m not dating a 5 year old. So about a week ago my 20 year old girlfriend wet our bed and I haven’t been able to sleep with her since. After the incident she cried and was very embarrassed and I told her that it doesn’t matter because it doesn’t change my opinion on her. That night I told her that I was sleeping on the couch and she was hurt but understanding. But now she’s claiming that it’s been a week and that I should sleep with her but I’m still feel not comfortable with sleeping with her. She says me not sleeping with her is making her insecure even though I’ve reassured her that I still love her.
I was just wondering aita also is it healthy for her to wet the bed(this is the first time in our 9 month relationship that this has happened) ###### | YTA
You told her:
>After the incident she cried and was very embarrassed and I told her that it doesn’t matter because it doesn’t change my opinion on her.
But your actions: refusing to sleep with her after several days indicate otherwise. Also comparing her to a five year old contradicts that statement.
I can get the first night as the bed may still be wet after cleaning it and that may be uncomfortable but beyond that is rediculous. ###### |
My mom got hurt at work years ago and has since been out of work playing up being disabled. She is in pain, but I don't consider her disabled.
Having seen Walmart employees with missing limbs, a coworker who is paralyzed from the waste down, and another coworker with a serious birth disorder that effects his ability to use his arms and hands, I have come to terms that I don't think my Mom deserves to be paid to sit at home all day with her feet up while others with actual limitations still hold down jobs.
AITA for thinking this way and telling her about my thoughts after she asked for my opinion?
She's super offended and pissed off because my father, siblings and I do not think her pain is the equivalent of someone who's actually not able to work given physical limitations or cognitive delays.
If you're wondering why we all sound so heartless, consider this:
My Mom literally "tripped" over a pebble in the driveway so she could go to the ER. Which we've all agreed was an elaborate way to get her medical paperwork sped up to get out of going back to work.
Anyway, AITA? ###### | YTA
You have no way of knowing what her pain is like. That’s nice that those other people are able to work, but they don’t sound like they are in pain. And assuming your mom is fine because she doesn’t visibly seem injured is just all kinds of not ok. ###### |
I have a 16 year old daughter, and ever since she got diagnosed with depression her privacy has been limited.
I try to keep her as busy as I can to keep her make sure she doesn’t have enough time on her hands to wallow in negative feelings but she does get occasional screentime. There is not a single text that goes to or from her phone that I don’t also see on mine, but she didn’t know this until today.
She and her friends were making fun of another friend who talked about how obnoxious eating is. He just said something like it’s time consuming to sit and chew and it seemed fine until my daughter said this:
“You’re right! Ever since I’ve stopped eating, I have had so much more free time and felt so much better. And those pesky nutrients and calories? No more of those! Not eating has cleared up so much of my schedule and made me feel amazing. I will never eat again”.
She has mentioned feeling bad about her body before, and has said she feels better about it now but I feel like there’s a lot she doesn’t tell me. I went to her later and asked her if she’s been eating enough.
She asked me why I asked, and almost got angry, saying she’s gotten over it long ago.
She then went on a scathing rant about how I always bring up issues from the past, like I don’t want her to change. It was completely unprecedented, so I took away her phone for a while.
She’s still trying to convince me that what happened today shouldn’t matter but I’m genuinely worried. AITA? ###### | YTA
You actually monitor all her communications without her knowing? That's so terrible. You should watch Black Mirror - Arkangel - Season 4; Episode 2
Also - your daughter sounds like she has a great sarcastic sense of humour - I take it you don't? ###### |
So I am 19 Male. I am away from college but I am still financially dependent on my parents they pay for my college they pay for my car insurance my gas for my car and give me a month spending budget of 600 a month. Well when I found out that I wasn't getting a stimulus check because my mom claimed me on her taxes last year I called her to ask her why. She said because she still pay for everything for me. I tired to explain that I was also 18 at the end of the year. She asked why do I care if I was getting a stimulus check anyways I told my mom going to use to it buy non essentials since I am only allowed to spend the 600 on food clothes and things like that. She said that's not what the stimulus is for. I said it was still my money. When I asked my girlfriend(23F) about it she said I was being a spoiled brat. AITA? ###### | YTA
Yeah dude, sorry, mommy pays for your stuff so mommy gets the money needed to continue to pay for your stuff. ###### |
So my mother is quite unhealthy and she has been told by many doctors that she needs to lose weight but she always insists that she is the perfect weight. this happened last thursday when i was eating dinner with my mother. She asked me to make some hamburgers because those are her favorite. But because i am a vegan i do not feel comfortable cooking meat so i decided to instead make veggieburgers. So i made them and we then started eating, my mother noted that the burgers tasted weird but didn't say anything else about them. We then finish eating and she is getting ready to leave so i inform her that i made her veggieburgers instead of hamburgers. She then got very mad saying that i didn't know if she could have a reaction to the food and also that i shouldn't force my eating habits on her. I said that i don't see a problem because she didn't have any kind of bad reaction to the food also it is better for her and she needs to lose weight anyways.
So Reddit AITA ###### | YTA
Why? Why do you gotta be one of the few vegans that literally force feeds **your** food preferences on someone else? Have you no concept of how viciously you undermine all your fellow vegans with this shit?
I’m not vegan but 100% support the choice **so long as they aren’t being an asshole about it** ###### |
I have a completely platonic, non-sexual friendship with a guy who likes to invite me over to his house when he cooks. He recently confided in me that he has HSV1. He just found out. I’m very picky about where I eat but I always trusted that he was a clean cook and it always tastes great. He’s said things like “it’s no big deal” and “he’s glad it’s not the really bad version” and saying that he doesn’t know if he’ll tell future partners. It’s got me really questioning if he’s as good of a person as I thought so I went and got tested because we’ve eaten together so many times. My results were negative. But now that I know he has it, I’m thinking what if he tastes some food and accidentally puts the spoon or fork back in the pot instead of the sink but doesn’t tell me because he doesn’t think it’s a big deal? We eat together once a month and I’m thinking of bailing on future dinners. Am I the asshole? ###### | YTA
What did I just read?!
Remember when people wouldn’t even TOUCH people with AIDS back in the 80s? This is the same concept.
Educate yourself. ###### |
The title sounds really vulgar but my ”stepmom” is 29 and she has always tried to boss me around and still at 18 does it and I have had enough.
Today I just couldn’t take it anymore when she tried to make me come eat lunch even though I wasn’t hungry. She insisted like I was a 5 year old.
I snapped and told her to fucking leave me alone and suck my dad’s dick. She just left me alone crying. ###### | YTA
What a ridiculous overreaction to a mild annoyance. You say your step mother is treating you like you're 5. It seems like she's just treating you at your maturity level. ###### |
I am an IT professional currently working from home and my wife is an ER doctor working on the frontline. We try to work the same hours, so I don’t see why this should be different just because I’m at home and she isn’t. She, on the other hand, comes home, gets annoyed when some chores aren’t done and then even more annoyed when I point out that if she doesn’t feel like doing them after her work, why would she assume I would do it after mine? Is it fair that household chores are 50:50 or should I be doing more because I’m working from home? ###### | YTA
This is the difference between equality and equity.
Sure, you work the same hours, does this also factor in your wife’s travel time to and from work, and length, frequency and accessibility of breaks?
I’m not sure what line of IT you’re in, how stressful it is and the risks involved, however, based of a general understanding of IT work, compared to being an ED doctor, I would be inclined to say your wife’s work is probably far more intense and stressful.
Your wife probably doesn’t have *any* down time during her shifts. She can’t just eat when she’s hungry, make a coffee when she’s tired or go for a walk around the block if she needs some clarity.
If your wife makes a mistake, someone could die. She’s on her feet all day, in a high pressure, high volume environment. While you may work the same hours, are you both experiencing the same demands and stress from your work?
Her 40 hours a week at 100% stress capacity, compared to your 40 hours even at 90%, means their should be a difference in how the at home labour is divided IMO.
I don’t know what your finances are like, but generally speaking doctors and IT pays pretty decently. Could you guys perhaps hire a cleaner once a week for a few hours? ###### |
So yea I (29M) found my friend’s reddit account when she sent me a screenshot of a reddit meme which showed her username and I searched for it and was disgusted when I found her and her husband have been a cuckold couple for years and even have few videos (not showing faces) where there are like 5 men plowing her while her husband licks her feet or something. I just lost all respect for her and her husband. And forgot about them, when she called me and suggested a get-together I told her absolutely no and when she insisted what was wrong, I told her about what I saw and her voice started sounding shaky and started “begging” me not to tell anyone, I agreed but told her that I don’t want to do anything with them anymore.
Although she was one of my best friends for about 9 years.
I told my wife and she agreed with me.
But still I feel kinda guilty and asshole-ish for making them feel like shit. ###### | YTA
The line that I personally draw to whether a person’s kink is “okay” or not, is if it affects themselves or those around them negatively. (On a physical or emotional level.) Their kink did not affect you- and it sounds like they’re both happy with the arrangement- so I fail to see what the issue was.
If the act of adultery in and of itself upsets or disgusts you and you want nothing to do with them because you can’t get it out of your mind, then that’s one thing. But you became an asshole when you claimed to have “lost all respect” for them. They didn’t do anything to hurt you. They didn’t even shove it in your face against your will... _You_ went digging and _you_ kept watching.
Edit: just wanna summarize for anyone who’s skimming: **OP is the AH for thinking their kink should earn them disrespect. He is not an AH for being too _uncomfortable_ to hang out with them anymore after what he saw.** ###### |
So my friend (we'll call him Nick) has a new girlfriend (we'll call her Amy) who's a professional cosplayer. I've met her a few times and she seems nice and he really likes her. I follow Amy online (on my sort of anime fan twitter, not the one with my name on it) and she does a lot of good cosplays, so I tend to check her stuff out pretty regularly.
Yesterday, someone I follow shared a lewd cosplay photo (censored) that looked familiar. I followed the link (on my personal account) and found that it was undeniably Amy. All of her pictures were nude or semi-nude, though each was censored with promises that the full thing was on OnlyFans. So, after a brief moral quandry, I shelled out the money to subscribe to her account.
I mentioned it to a different friend on discord and he called me an asshole and a creep. The way I see it, she's selling pictures to everyone, so what I did should be fine. I'm pro-sex work and so is Nick, so I don't think he should have an issue with it, even if I wouldn't tell him I did it to his face. AMITA? ###### | YTA
The fact that you aren’t planning on telling your friend indicates that you know you’re doing something wrong . It’s creepy and weird ###### |
My (29M) girlfriend (22F) has some bladder problems and has to pee many many times throughout any regular day. It is exhausting for her and bad for her skin because she has to wash her hands so frequently. I asked her if she would ever consider an adult diaper and she was very offended. I am just trying to help though like wouldn't you not want to constantly be running to the bathroom and drying out your hands? She said I was being inconsiderate by suggesting this and that it would be humiliating to wear a diaper at a young age. I told her I could pay for them, like don't worry about that part.
It is very disruptive for her life, and mine as well, but more importantly for her. If we go to the movies she has to leave at least twice usually so she is missing the movie. If we are out to dinner with people she has to excuse herself a lot. She wakes up in the middle of the night at least twice to pee, which I imagine sucks for her because she can't always fall right back asleep. It also disrupts me sometimes and wakes me up.
I get it that these things might not be super comfortable to wear but like she is always complaining about how often she has to pee so I am just trying to think of solutions. Also the dry skin problem is very real. She uses hand cream but her hands are almost always dry. I don't want that to get any worse for her.
So reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA
That’s just insulting. You want her to sit / lay in her own urine to make you more comfortable?
A diaper is meant to catch accidents for adults, not so they can sit through dinner without disturbing everyone.
Her doctor should be looking into this as it’s obviously a medical problem. ###### |
I’m using a throwaway because she knows my main. So basically, my girlfriend and I live together. Everyday when we’re about to have whatever meal or anything, she closely inspects each and every glass, plate, fork, knife, etc.
They way she inspects it is by firstly sliding it through her fingers (she washes her hands before doing so) to feel if there’s anything stuck on, and then she brings it up close to her face to look closer. It’s really irritating and I’ve asked her to just wash everything herself if she has such an issue with these stuff, but she ignores me.
Whenever we used to go to restaurants, although she would never put her hands all of the glass and utensils, she’d still look closely at them before using, and imo that’s just an embarrassing thing to do in public.
Last night, I tried to have a discussion with her about her behaviour, and she said that it’s just something she does and she can’t help it, because she feels gross if she doesn’t. I still don’t want her doing it because I feel gross knowing that her hands have been all over everything. It got pretty heated and I ended sleeping on the couch. This morning we still didn’t talk and now she’s at work.
So reddit, AITA here? ###### | YTA
That is such a weird thing to get mad about and I promise you no one in any restaurant is noticing it beyond a cursory glance and then forgetting about it. ###### |
Early in my husband and I’s marriage, we got life insurance policies on each other. We also had secondary beneficiaries in the form of my husband’s nephews in the unlikely event we both went together. This was pre us having kids and we always said once we did, we’d switch over the policies.
Fast forward 25 years later. We have kids that are 21 & 23. My daughter (23) made a comment about getting life insurance through her job, so I decided to check on our policy. I hadn’t in years. Well, when I did I was surprised to see we had never changed our secondary beneficiaries. They were still my husband’s nephews. We totally forgot to change them. I thought it was a little funny, my husband did too. Obviously we’re alive and fine. We called the company, started the process to have it changed.
My son thought it was funny, my daughter didn’t. She said “we were irresponsible” and didn’t think of them. What if we had died? What if the nephews didn’t give it up? I said they would be taken care of. They asked if we had a will and I admitted no. But we have so much family that has agreed verbally over the years to take them. It never seemed necessary. Besides, we’re alive, our kids are adults. It’s all fixed now and we plan to draw a will up. No one was hurt.
No one except my daughter. She kept harping on it and frankly it was annoying. Finally I told her, yes it was a bad move on our end but she needs to let it go. She got even more mad.
Am I the ass here? ###### | YTA
So you went her entire life without a plan on paper that a court of law could enforce should something go terribly wrong? That was incredibly irresponsible.
Money changes people. What if you did die and your nephews had gotten everything and refused your own children? The only documentation you have goes to them.
You can’t change the past and harping on it won’t change it either. But your defense of ‘we didn’t die’ isn’t exactly a good one.
Learning that had something happened to her parents she ‘probably’ wouldn’t be abandoned by the family isn’t a comforting thought. ###### |
Earlier in the year, my daughter’s fourth grade teacher called me and complained to me that my daughter wanted excessive amounts of attention from her and was always near her. I was extremely upset by this because her teacher probably thought that my husband and I are not teaching her proper social behavior.
I told my daughter that she was behaving inappropriately, to stop acting like that around her teacher, and that she was not her teacher’s boyfriend or husband and consequently did not need to win her heart. My daughter just glared at me and went back to studying for her math test the next day.
After that, I noticed that our relationship had become strained and that she’d take a lot of her anger out on me. So was I the asshole or just being a good parent by telling her the harsh truth? I am just very blunt by nature. ###### | YTA
She’s only in fourth grade, don’t be so harsh an her looking for affection elsewhere. There’s probably a reason for that. Talking to her, asking her why she seeks the attention from her teacher and kindly explaining the social boundaries coming with this kind of relationship would’ve been the way imo. ###### |
As you know, french bulldogs have breathing issues due to their deformed noses.
I saw a girl jogging with her french bulldog. I told my wife i wanted to say something, but she said not to, so I didn't.
A few days later, I saw the same girl and dog around my neighborhood walking, so I took this chance to say something. I told her to please consider her dog's breathing issues when jogging. She told me when she jogs with him, she does intervals of light jogging for 1 min then does 3 mins of walking for 15-20 mins and she only does this every two weeks. Never in the Summer.
I see where she's coming from, but I told her he's probably not doing too good. She then says "ok i hear you - have a great day!". Honestly this is a rude response since I feel dismissed. So I ask if she's going to stop. She says probably not. At this point I'm mad so I tell her she shouldn't have gotten this breed then.
She then says "Yea sure." then walks away.
I told my wide about this and she said this is one of the dumbest thing I could've done and I should've minded my own business.
So, was I in the wrong? ###### | YTA
She was dismissing you lol. You think you’re the mayor of dogs? The god of jogging? Why should she give a shit about what you think. Her routine seems very reasonable. ###### |
So this happened in March but my wife is still upset about it.
I have three children with my wife, 6,4 and 4months.
We bottle feed the youngest.
Come mothers day my wife is exhausted, I cooked breakfast with my youngest helping while our 4year old did some art work for her.
When my wife went for her nap I thought I'd take the children out, my eldest decided to take a nap with her mother though so it was just the two youngest.
We spent maybe 3 hours with my mother and an hour travelling, when I got back I cooked dinner and I thought everything was OK.
my wife claims I ruined her mothers day, I don't see how since we didn't have plans and she was asleep for at least an hour.
She's still insisting I'm TA for taking the children out.
AITA? ###### | YTA
She napped for an hour and you were gone three. You didn’t discuss it with her or even tell her you were going. Did it not occur to you she would want to know where her children are?
Edit. Worse. Four hours. It’s like you took half the day away from your wife without consulting her. ###### |
My daughter just got her acceptance letter today. Of course my wife and I are beyond extatic. She also has earned a scholarship that gives her an almost completely free ride that she has worked very hard to achieve. She is paying whatever it doesn't cover herself.
However, my daughter also gave us the news today that she is planning on majoring in Music Management with a minor in Composition.
Once my wife and I got over the shock, we voiced our disapproval of such a choice. There isn't a lot of money to be made in music at all, and we want our daughter to have a stable career.
My daughter says that she has thought through all those things and has still decided to go through with it. I believe that her Chorus teacher is swaying her, because honestly, she isn't THAT good of a singer.
I will always encourage my daughter's hobbies and have done so over the years. She has been in chorus for 10 years, plays guitar, piano, and is teaching herself violin. She has funded all of these things herself, which I am very proud of. Despite it all, however, she just doesn't have the natural talent to make it in the music world.
Not only that, my wife and I were angry that she didn't tell us until now. We feel she has purposefully hidden it from us. To that, my daughter responded that she knew we were going to be unsupportive and didn't tell us for that reason. My daughter said that she was hurt we reacted so harshly and is currently not speaking to us.
My wife and I just don't want to see out daughter throw away so much hard work for a degree that is very hard to succeed with. She is 18, this is a big decision to make and one that I feel she has not properly thought through. AITA? ###### | YTA
She isn't trying to be a professional singer, she's trying to be a manager or composer. There is money in that, and more importantly, she'll enjoy it. ###### |
Something I’ve started doing since becoming obsessed with bodybuilding. I don’t have the appetite to finish all the meals so I started just tossing everything in a blender and chugging it in 10 secs because it’s faster and you finish the meal before getting full . My girlfriend cooked dinner last night and I did that and she was furious. Said she put a lot of effort in it and it was supposed to be be good, delicious and healthy and everything felt pointless to watch me drink it like a animal and I should be more considerate. AITA? Didn’t seem like a big deal to be but I’m always open for self reflection ###### | YTA
Sharing food is one of the basic bonding activities between partners. She has gone to the time and effort to cook something nice for you and obviously has considered the flavours, nutrition etc because she wants to delight you and support your fitness goals. It's a bit deflating and embarrassing for her that you have treated it like pig slop for you blend together for raw sustenance.
You will be making your own meals from now on. ###### |
My daughter, we'll call her Lily, is 14 and she is in a wheelchair. She made a new friend, Barbara, also 14, earlier in the school year who also uses a wheelchair, and they've become very close. Barbara has, in a way, strained mine and Lily's once very close relationship. She thinks Lily should be able to hang out more outside of school with their other friends, but I can't risk anything happening to my daughter with zero adult supervision, so I've had to say no. Barbara has come to our house several times, before the virus, and I can just tell that she puts things in my daughter's head about me, and I'm not comfortable with it at all, but my husband wants to encourage the friendship.
So, Lily has been talking to Barbara a lot during this isolation period over the phone and internet, and she told me today that she would prefer if I don't call her a special needs child anymore to family, my friends, or basically anyone else. She has never expressed this concern to me before, and I asked her what's wrong with what I've said, and she said that she would prefer to use the term/identify as disabled. Special needs is apparently an old-fashioned and offensive term now.
Now, I know that Barbara must have put some ideas into her head. I don't think special needs is a bad word at all, it's the only way I've ever described Lily, so while I did tell her I would think about it, I don't think I can do it, and only because I feel like she was manipulated into this decision.
My husband thinks I should suck it up and do what our daughter wishes, and Lily has given me the silent treatment since talking to me. I'm very close to letting her know that she is not to talk to Barbara anymore. I feel like that would release a lot of tension, if not right away, definitely in the future. WIBTA? ###### | YTA
Most other disabled people I know(physically and mentally disabled) refer to ourselves as disabled. It’s not a dirty word. It’s just what we are.
Secondly, here’s what will happen if you tell Lily not to talk to her pal. She will talk to her. She will talk to her at school, over her computer, her cellphone, and she will utilize every possible avenue and ally she can to stay in contact with and see her friend.
And finally, you don’t mention any other issues your daughter has other than using a wheelchair. She’s fourteen. She’s old enough to hang out without supervision. She’s old enough to talk about her disability and decide what label she prefers.
And I’m going to be a bit harsh here.
I think you’ve tied up a lot of ego into being “mother of a special needs kid”. I think you’ve been “Lily’s mom” so long that now that she’s trying to be someone other than “Lily’s mom’s special needs kid” you’re panicking a little, because you don’t know who you are unless you’re “mother of special needs kid Lily”.
And I’m kind of wondering how much of your “close relationship” was based maybe a bit more on how you could take care of(and control) Lily, rather than helping her bloom. ###### |
My 4 year old is called Winifred Rose , we call her Rosie or, much less often, Freddie, she's named after my husbands grandmother, and I love the meaning behind the name, "blessed peacemaking"
I don't know why but MIL has taken to calling her WinWin and I just cringe at that, I absolutely hate it and she doesn't react to being called that at all so MIL will sit there screeching "WinWin!! WinWin!!!" and my daughter doesn't react at all.
I've asked her several times to stop calling her that, I hate it.
Well, we were on skype with her earlier and she just kept repeating WinWin to get my daughters attention, no luck, I asked her to stop and she keeps on.
So I snapped and said "STOP ! I'll start calling you something you dont like shall I? Call back when you learn my daughters name"
She hasnt called back, didn't even call to wish Rosie happy birthday.
My husband thinks I was overly harsh for freaking out over something so small and is super moody atm.
AITA? ###### | YTA
Mildly. You're right on the edge of your kid going to school and starting interactions, so I think you should disabuse yourself of the notion that you can control nicknames your kids get. This situation was more understandable, but in the next few years your kid is going to start getting and keeping nicknames you don't like and you can't get mad at people over it. ###### |
ok so im 16 and my stepdad has been with my mom for like 5 years now. he told me he was married before and had a daughter who's in her twenties now but idk what happened, i just know he doesn't really talk to her. he told me his first wife was a massive bitch and that's why he left but also said he used to drink a lot more too so idk. anyway he told me his daughter's name once and it's pretty uncommon so i found her on facebook. she looks exactly like my stepdad too so like i knew she was the right girl. I just told her who i was and asked why she and my stepdad don't really talk and said she might want to give him a chance cuz he doesn't drink anymore and is a cool guy now. she took like 3 days to respond but all she said was (im gonna copy paste it)
"I know you're a kid and this isn't your problem, and I know you have a very different relationship with your stepdad than i do, but the things that he did and said to me when i was a child have made it impossible for us to have a relationship. i'm glad to hear that he's sober but it's not enough for me to want to have him in my life. thanks for reaching out but please do not contact me again"
I messaged back that she didn't need to be bitchy and she blocked me. I told my stepdad and he got really angry and started throwing shit, he started ranting about her and his ex-wife and about how they never respected him and then told me i was a shithead for bringing this back up because he was "over it" until i did this. it was freaky because I'd never seen him like that before. i was just trying to find out what happened between him and my stepsister, am i really the asshole? ###### | Yta
It's really naive to think you'll message her and she's going to want to play happy families again. She probably has good reasons for her decision and her message didn't seem bitchy to me. Don't involve yourself in other people's disagreements in future, usually doesn't end well ###### |
Hello, I am writing this because my husband just told me I was the asshole but I strongly disagree.
My son is currently in 8th grade and always tells me about the crazy things students do to each other in his class. While I do believe some were inappropriate, I just took it as they being kids and would hopefully grow out of it once they get older. However, what my son told me happened yesterday was completely different. During his math online test, some students attempted to copy but were later caught by the teacher and ended up getting a failing mark. When his lesson ended, my son was having a conversation with these students and others from his class and the words they used to describe this teacher was honestly horrible and disgusting. I never imagined these children would know this many swear words! This was extremely inappropriate and I contacted the teacher and told her everything that happened and urged her to tell their parents about these students.
I told my husband and son about it and my son got very mad at me and told me they will all think he is the ‘teachers puppet’ and will lose his friends. My husband also agrees I was the asshole and to next time mind my own business. I told him that it is my business that these students have a terrible behavior.
​
Anyways, I would love to hear your thoughts about this. ###### | YTA
Ignorance is bliss. The teacher could have gone about her life not knowing all the nasty things said. Now she will remember that.
You've also damaged your son's trust in you and quite possibly made him a target of bullying if those kids find out.
You've inflicted emotional pain on two different people. And for what? the chance that kids you don't know and don't interact with might get punished for a brief moment of anger and frustration? ###### |
I met my (42M) wife (34F) 9 years ago, her son John is 14.
My wife has John 3 weeks of the month.
My wife is due to give birth any day, she was actually due last week, her pregnancy has been extremely stressful and she’s been on bed rest for most of it.
Her son has been extremely difficult lately; saying I’m not his dad and that he’s afraid the baby will grow up to be like me and being disrespectful.
I tolerated it for a week because he’s going through a hard time but I’m fed up.
I asked my wife to send him to his fathers until the baby is born, maybe a week after the baby is born even.
She refused saying that she gets wanting a week after the baby is born and she’ll sort that out but she won’t send him home during her custody time, even though they’ve spent like an hour together the past two weeks.
She believes he’ll link the baby to being sent home, I believe at his attitude he’s old enough to know that we need peace and quiet at this time.
She believes that I’m being out of order, I’d ask her to speak to him but last time she did he lashed out and now she’s pass her due date I don’t want to stress her out more.
He’s too old to be acting like this when we’re both stressed out because of this complicated pregnancy, which he’s aware of.
AITA? ###### | YTA
If she can handle the stress of the pregnancy with her son there then you can too ###### |
Around two years ago, my mother slipped on a patch of ice in the parking lot at her job. She fractured her ankle in the fall, and needed surgery to have a plate put in. She went through physical therapy and can function without issue during her day to day activities. Her ankle is achey and can swell during rainy days, it is my understanding that this isn’t uncommon for people who have had similar injuries.
Anyway, all this time later worker’s compensation is finally setting and she’s appalled at the amount she is being given. She keeps saying, to everyone who will listen and to myself more times that I can count, “This is something that’s going to be with me for the rest of my life, my life will never be the same, and that’s all they came up with?”
I’m sick of it. I feel like she should just be grateful that she doesn’t have a permanent limp or something. AND it’s not like she’s getting nothing. They paid her while she was out for months, and she’s still getting a settlement that’s not exactly small by our standards.
So this morning when she was ranting through the same spiel, I stopped her and told her I refused to feel sorry for her because she wasn’t “ruined,” and that she sounded entitled. I also reminded her that my partner was in a much more serious accident and broke his spine, and his settlement wasn’t THAT much more than hers. She huffed and called me a bitch, now she won’t talk to me. AITA? ###### | YTA
I can see why her complaining is annoying but you could have told her that you were tired of it politely and without calling into question her suffering.
She had to have surgery and a plate and continues to experience intermittent pain. That’s not exactly a small injury. And $7k is not anything to turn your nose up at, but it’s hardly a huge windfall either.
I’m sorry your partner was injured, but his settlement doesn’t have anything to do with your mothers settlement. Calling her entitled when she was only receiving compensation for an injury she got on the job is unkind and incorrect. ###### |
I(27M) have been living with my girlfriend (26F) for 2 years. We rent a nice apartment together. I make 3 times more money than she does, so when we moved in together, we agreed on I should pay 70 % and she should pay only 30% of the rent, and she will clean more than I will. She buys more food than I buy too, and she also cooks more(she cooks better than me) Well I slowly realized that since I pay much more money than she does, I should not clean our apartment. So in the last one year she did everything around the house, and I thought she Is okay with it, but today she was upset during cleaning and she told me this is not how things should be. I told her that she should pay more then, but she said she can’t because even though she is working a lot, she buys food too and she can’t save any money. (I don’t believe this) we ended up having a huge fight and she I crying now I think. I think she is dramatic and not equal.
AITA for thinking I am right ? ###### | YTA
Having more money doesn't mean you should not do any chores. So she is working a lot and should do the shopping, cleaning AND cooking? Are you insane? ###### |
Throwaway.
I have been very stressed lately. I have many projects that I want to work on, especially in the yard. Of course my husband and kids don’t want to do it, but we’ve had more time than ever recently to do nothing but yard work, and the faster we get it done, the better.
My 16 year old daughter has been fine. She knows better than to complain. My 8 year old son, however, has been complaining the whole time. His job is to shovel dirt into a wheelbarrow and take it wherever I tell him to.
Today, for the third time this week, the wheelbarrow tipped over. I was not happy about this, and I told him “I know you think if you do this poorly, we won’t make you. But you’re wrong. You will do it all, and have no help. And you will do nothing else except eat and sleep for the rest of your life. Is that what you want?
My husband told me I was completely wrong to say that. Apparently what I said made my son cry, my son said he was doing his best but I’m done with his manipulative games. I am the victim of my family’s constant manipulation, especially my son’s, and I’m not putting up with it anymore. My son always makes himself the victim, and I’m the one apologizing.
AITA for saying what I said? ###### | YTA
First of all you are making an 8 year old do hard labor. Then when he understandabley makes a mistake you belittle him. I'm sure that wheelbarrow is heavy and he isn't used to it. Hell, I was doing yard work this week and I did the same thing a couple of times and I'm 18.
Cut the kid some slack.
Edit: I just re-readthis and holy shit YTA not in this situation, but in general. You managed to make this a pity post like your life is soooo hard. "Oh my family constantly manipulates me, especially my son." He's 8. FUCKING 8. My mom was lucky to get me to clean my own room at 8 let alone do yard work. The only person manipulating anyone here, is you. ###### |
So my wife and I have been doing a game night every so often with some other couples via zoom since we can’t go out and see people lately.
We were playing this card game that was like basically a trivia game for couples to play and you are asked a question and you write down your answer and your partner has to guess what they think you answered. If they guess correctly your team gets a point. Whichever couples knows each other the best wins.
So some of the questions in this version were a little spicy and one of the questions was “Who is your dream man/woman to have sex with.” I wrote down my spin instructor, since my wife knows I think she’s hot, and thought she’d guess her and we’d get a point.
Well, fuck me, turns out every other husband either wrote down their wife or a celebrity/fictional character.
My wife was livid, and upset. I tried to explain I didn’t actually *want* to do anything with my spin instructor and I would never even briefly consider being unfaithful, it was just me trying to play the game. She doesn’t believe me, saying everyone else’s instinct was women who didn’t exist or better yet, their wives. I feel really bad, but also really confused. Is she overreacting or am I an asshole?
(And no need to tell me about the Curb Your Enthusiasm Episode. No I hadn’t seen it. Yes I’ve seen it now. Almost every man there sent me references to it as soon as the video was off.) ###### | YTA
Come on man, a woman you know in real life? There is such a clear difference between talking about a celebrity crush or a character from a TV show, but you chose someone you realitisically could hook up with, which is what your wife will be thinking about from now on when you go to spin class. ###### |
Our son is 1. Recently he’s stopped sleeping through the night. Previously he’d wake once or twice and was generally easy to drop back off again. We didn’t do any sleep training or anything, he just sort of did it himself.
For the past few weeks this has increased to 4-5 wake ups. We’re exhausted and don’t even have to actually go into work - lockdown etc. He isn’t easy to settle at all and either is breastfed or given a bottle to settle him again. Both methods take time and prolong the wake up.
I’ve started thinking about how on earth we will focus when we have to go into the office and function. Currently we’re both having a late morning/early afternoon lie down because we’re tired. Our relationship is suffering as well - we’re arguing more.
And then tonight, my turn to do the wake ups (whoever does the wake ups, gets the lie in the next day) and it’s 3am, he’s woke up 4 times already. So I just decided enough was enough and to leave him to it. He’s crying, obviously, but he’s also tired so there’s periods where I think he starts to nod off, but then wakes and cries. I’ve been watching the monitor closely to make sure he’s ok. Honestly, he just sounds pissed off but I do think it was working.
However, my husband got really mad and stormed in to give him a bottle. I tried explaining that we’ve never even given him the chance to call asleep independently, it’s either feeding, rocking, taking him for a walk/drive so how is he going to learn. I don’t think he’s actually hungry during the night; he eats masses of food during the day, plenty to drink etc. I think the night feeds are a crutch.
Am I the asshole?
PS; this isn’t a post asking for sleep training tips. I know as a parent you can’t help but share what did/didn’t work for you.
PS; if you MumShame me, I will end you. My son is my world. ###### | YTA
A) for not communicating with your husband
B) for asking people to judge your parenting and then threatening them if they “mumshame”. What the hell? ###### |
Throwaway because my girlfriend has reddit.
My (34) girlfriend (22) have been together for a year and a half. She has recently started a Timothee Chalamet fan account. She watched one of his movies and became obsessed with him. She lost her job because of Covid-19 and decided to start up a fan Instagram thing or whatever recently where she pretty much posts updates about him and communicates with other fans or whatever, now I wouldn’t care if it was a secret but she posts about it on her personal Instagram, which has my colleagues, family and friends. My colleagues are constantly poking fun at me and my family are now weirded out by her. I tried to talk to her about it but and asked her to close it but she said she enjoys it and won’t close it. I stood my ground and was firm with her, then she started crying and just went to bed. AITA? ###### | YTA
1. Because it's not your place to tell her what she can and can not do on her own free time and on her own IG page, regardless of how your colleagues and family may feel about that and how embarrassed you feel. If it makes you feel THAT embarrassed then you don't have to follow her on IG.
2. Because of this.
>I stood my ground and was firm with her, then she started crying and just went to bed.
You are NOT her father.
End of judgement. ###### |
My brother and his wife died, leaving their daughter, my niece, I'm sure a decent amount of money. She's very secretive about how much money it was, and it also came with the option to pay out their mortgage and own their house.
The house isn't great, but with location and lot size, it would probably sell for 500k, but the mortgage is obviously much less made it super cheap. She used part of her inheritance to pay off the mortgage, with the idea that she could safely ride out the country's turmoil there, even though it's not where she really wants to live, it's not a bad commute to anything. She's gutted the place and redone it to her own standards. She resisted living in the area for years but I guess now that she can do it without her parents around with whatever "freedom" she wants it's fine.
One of her cousins, who has an entire family that's on the verge of losing their apartment, may need a place to land. She isn't interested, and they may be homeless. Nobody else has the space or is remotely in the area. It's her or the shelter (if it comes to that).
We want her to share her house with them. She has two spare bedrooms. There's no reason that she can't sacrifice a little for family. They aren't bums, they will contribute what they can. Things have gotten heated, amd there have been threats of throwing her out of the family for being selfish.
She's chosen a victim complex, decided that nobody likes her anyway so she can "do what she wants" and is singlehandedly doing her best to split this family into two sides, those who see reality, and people who think a 25 year old should have her own house regardless of anything else because.... question mark I guess.
She is TWENTY FIVE. She's single (no wonder). She doesn't need an entire house to herself, and she certainly doesn't need to have whatever party house I'm sure she's imagining having. I'm not ASKING her to give it up, just share until there are more stable times. AITA? ###### | Yta
>those who see reality, and people who think a 25 year old should have her own house regardless of anything else because.... question mark I guess.
It's almost like it's HER house huh?!?!?!? That people other than you understand that it's her house not a shared house because you share DNA
>She is TWENTY FIVE. She's single (no wonder). She doesn't need an entire house to herself, and she certainly doesn't need to have whatever party house I'm sure she's imagining having. I'm not ASKING her to give it up, just share until there are more stable times. AITA?
And here you are talking terribly about someone you supposedly love and care about! Your the one who deserve's to be alone! You are blackmailing her! And yes you are forcing her to give up her house! By forcing her to open it up to people, simply because you've deemed them more important because they have children. I hope she realizes just how selfish, manlipitive and horrible you are and cuts off conact herself! ###### |
My best fiend replies really slow to texts. Whenever she replies I reply back ASAP and then she takes over half an hour or more (sometimes even a whole day) to reply back. We rarely have ‘flowy’ convos where both parties reply on time.
Yesterday I got annoyed and told her that I stop whatever I’m doing to reply to her and I don’t understand how she can’t do the same. Instead, she replied back saying that she’s grateful that I reply back ASAP but we’re two different people and she doesn’t like stopping what she’s doing in the middle to reply back to a text but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t value me and she again emphasised the “different people, different personalities” thing. That pissed me off even more and I left her on read. She texted me again and I left her on read once more.
This morning she asked me why I left her on read and I told her ‘I was watching a Netflix show and didn’t want to stop it in the middle:))’ and she just said ‘oh okay, text me when you’re free then’. How can she be so oblivious that I’m doing the exact thing she does to make her understand how annoying it is? Instead she’s acting like it doesn’t matter to her and honestly it’s just pissing me off further. We’re both in our early 20s and it’s really immature of her to act like this.
Am I an asshole for expecting basic human decency and for her to treat me the same way I treat her? ###### | YTA
>This morning she asked me why I left her on read and I told her ‘I was watching a Netflix show and didn’t want to stop it in the middle:))’ and she just said ‘oh okay, text me when you’re free then’. How can she be so oblivious that I’m doing the exact thing she does to make her understand how annoying it is? Instead she’s acting like it doesn’t matter to her and honestly it’s just pissing me off further.
So you tried to act petty and it backfired because your friend accepted that you might be too busy to respond to a text immediately...
>We’re both in our early 20s and it’s really immature of her to act like this
You're the only one acting immature. Not everyone responds to texts immediately, if you need an immediate response or want to have a "flowy" conversation, pick up your phone and CALL her. Don't act like an immature asshole to try to prove a point. ###### |
I am not here looking for advice, I just need someone to tell me like it is.
My danger went into foster care from the ages of 13-15 (She is currently 15). I had her young, i made some mistakes as a parent, but after that wake up call I got my stuff together and got my daughter back. After coming back from homelessness and drug addiction, I thought that she would be proud of all that I had done to make a safe home for her.
She stayed with the same foster family for the entire time. The foster parents claimed to support my unification with her, but I felt that they were spoiling her and buying her loyalty at the same time. They went over my head to get decisions made for her, they took her on trips, and did other things that raised expectations for her that I knew that I would not be able to maintain.
When she came back to me she was unhappy. She expressed that she did not want to leave her foster home, and it really hurt my feelings. At first I supported the contact with this family. Then slowly, I realized that she was still depending on them as caregivers and not giving me a chance to care for her. I asked the family to cease contact with her, so that I could demonstrate to Hera that I am a capable caregiver. They reluctantly agreed.
When she calls them, they don’t answer. This has given her some significant distress, but she is leaning on me more. I feel bad about having these people disappear from her life, and when I ask others if I made the right choice, they tip toe around answering me. I just want someone to tell it to me straight, aita for asking them to stop contacting my daughter? ###### | YTA
> I asked the family to cease contact with her, so that **I could demonstrate** to Hera that **I am a capable caregiver**. They reluctantly agreed.
> When she calls them, they don’t answer. This has given her some significant distress, but she is leaning on me more.
none of these actions are for *her* benefit, they're for *yours*.
you're selfishly putting your ego ahead of her happiness, of course you're the asshole. ###### |
My girlfriend, Emily (23F) and I (30M) have been dating for a year. We live together. Emily is a freelance writer and she is also studying for her Master's.
She has this "hobby" of making stuffed toys, tableclothes, scarves and stuff. But the most expensive and interesting ones are her glass cups and plates. She makes paintings on them and stores them in a shelve. I often pay for more than half of her materials.
I got laid off from work last January and our financial condition was really bad by February so I asked her if she could sell some of her crafts for money. She flat out refused and said that she is working extra hard and I should start looking for a job.
I knew it was difficult for me to get a job and that harder days were coming so I decided to sell some of her glass crockery and table cloths on Etsy. I didn't tell her before selling them because I knew that she wouldn't understand.
We survived February and March with her freelance money and glass crockery sets and some of our savings. Today she was cleaning the shelves and she asked me if I knew where her crockery was.
I told her that I'd sold them and she went absolutely hysterical. I was going to tell her later because I knew that she wouldn't understand otherwise. She called me a thief and demanded that I return her crockery immediately. I told her it was impossible and that she could always make the exact same ones.
She hasn't talked to me and is being completely unreasonable and inconsiderate.
AITA? ###### | YTA
"She hasn't talked to me and is being completely unreasonable and inconsiderate?" She isn't beating unreasonable or inconsiderate, you literally stole her creations and sold them without even getting permission. ###### |
Sounds bad but let me explain:
Long story short, my wife is an ancient history buff. She speaks Classical Latin and can at least read some kinds of Greek. she REALLY knows this stuff. She is OBSESSED. Sometimes it’s kind of awkward because she will use weird latin no one knows and then explain it but it’s whatever. Obviously watching movies like 300 with her suuuucks. She has a big interest and it’s pretty cool overall.
But she’s taken it a little too far. She had me help her build this HUGE loom and she melted down lead shot to make weights for it. It’s gigantic and she wove huge sheets on it she wears as togas. Idr what she actually calls them they’re like dresses and she said they aren’t togas but idk. Stereotypical greek statue look. She wears them ALOT. At first it was just around the house but then she made a fancier one out of like silky stuff that she dyed, and she wears it out at least once a week. Yesterday we ran into some friends we haven’t seen since lockdown at a park. She was wearing the dress.They I invited us to go to a beer garden later. In the car, I told her we were going home before going out so she could change. She got really upset and told me she was really excited to talk to them about how we built a loom in quarantine and how she made it on her loom and dyed it “accurately.” I just don’t think it’s appropriate for her to wear what is basically a costume out with friends, and I don’t want her talking about it all night. She argued that lots of modern dresses have the same look and that with gold sandals and jewelry on she just looked dressing. I got pretty mad and told her I was embarrassed to be seen with her in a weird toga costume. She decided to stay home. So not changing clothes was more important to her than seeing our friends. She hasn’t talked to me since then, last night. Am I the asshole?
TL;DR I didn’t want to go out with friends while my wife was dressed in essentially a costume she made. ###### | YTA
"Not changing clothes was more important to her than seeing our friends" ... no, standing up for herself and being proud of what she had made was more important to her than your ego and insecurity. She's right, the garment she made will fit well in the modern world with the right sandals and jewelry. ###### |
My daughter is an incoming junior in college. She is stuck between business/data science and medicine as a career path. She's taking an introductory data science course this summer along with a general biology class.
She told me that her biology quizzes are 15 minutes long with 10 questions, and you're not allowed to go back after selecting an answer. There are also penalties for guessing on some questions. Out of 20 points, the mean was 11 and the SD was 3. My daughter got a 14/20, but...I was hoping she got a 17 or 18 out of 20. 14/20 is a 70% and it feels like a C- to me regardless of what the mean and SD were.
When I asked what she got, I started off with 18/20? 17/20? 16/20? And she just glared at me angrily. I don't know why.
And honestly I am her mom and I feel like I know her the best...and deep down I just feel like she is not really smart enough for the medical path, or good enough at science to make it. Her science GPA is a 3.6, and she had to P/NP Organic Chemistry 2 last semester (would have received a B+).
I told her that she needed to be more focused when watching her biology lectures and that she needed to decide whether she was interested in medicine, and do a better job of showing her interest/stop complaining about how the quizzes are given/how hard they are. I do not want her to never commit to anything and be on my husband and I's payroll forever.
I also told her that her aunt (my sister) suggested that she take biology at a community college first since my kid didn't take AP Biology in high school, and my daughter got mad at me and said that she scored an SD above the mean as evidence that she was smart enough to handle the content.
She hasn't really spoken to me after I said all that and so I am wondering if I am the asshole. I felt like I was just being brutally honest. I don't sugarcoat, ever. ###### | YTA "Not smart enough or good enough" ###### |
Two weeks ago we had taco night. My mom made a bunch of meat, beans, corn, etc. My brothers got to the kitchen about ten minutes before me to make their tacos and as I entered, my little brother was finishing making his fifth taco and used up the last of the beef. I was pissed because they didn’t save me any and the meat is the best part of the taco.
I told them to give me some meat and they ignored me and went to the living room and started eating. I went to my mom to tell her what they did and she didn’t even care. She didn’t tell either of them to give me some meat, so I had bean tacos instead. Not terrible but I was kind of mad about the selfishness.
Flash forward to yesterday morning and my mom made eggs and bacon. I got to the kitchen first, followed by older brother, then my little brother about ten minutes later. I took one third of everything that was made, and my older brother took the rest even though he asked me if my little brother had eaten yet and I said no. What a dick move.
Anyways, my little brother comes and sees that nothing was left, and tells our mother and all hell broke loose. She yelled at us that he hadn’t eaten yet, he is to eat first from now on, and that we shouldn’t have eaten it all. She then made him a separate breakfast.
I think this is unfair because she didn’t do the same for me. I couldn’t even convince her to. Furthermore, I took my fair share, whereas he took way more than he should’ve. I called her out on it and she wouldn’t respond. Then my brothers said I was TA. I disagree. What does Reddit think? ###### | YTA (you and your older brother at least)
To be honest, your mom is probably tired of having to feed you and your older brother. You're 22, your older brother is presumably a year or two older at least, etc...
I had a friend whose parents started doing the same thing. Older kids never left, were still eating them out of house and home into their twenties. Yet the minor, the 14 year old, had to fight grown adult children for food.
I'm not trying to be rude, but I am willing to bet your mom is just tired of feeding her adult children. In her mind, she probably feels more obligation to ensure the youngest (either a minor or still only like 19 or so?) is fed and gets upset that the others are consuming everything.
It's not "fair" you got lumped with your brother, but your mom might not feel like it's fair still having to support her adult kids. ###### |
When I was thirteen, I had a Bar Mitzvah, and was given some shares of Apple stock by my grandparents. Like any dumb kid, I was not thinking of saving for the future, so I asked my parents to cash it in and I wanted to buy stuff with it. My dad was hesitant, but he gave me the $3200 and I blew it in a few months on whatever was fun at the time.
Fast forward 28 years, and my parents a are talking to my sister and I about the estate planning since they are approaching 80. My dad tells me that he never sold the stock, and wants to transfer the portfolio back to me. For the last 28 years I was unaware that the stocks were still there and what was 1000 shares of AAPL has now become 14,000 shares.
My big sister comes in and starts throwing a fit at that idea. She says that the money should be split, especially since I “don’t need it as much as her”. She never had a Bat Mitzvah, and therefore was never given stocks like that, but my parents did buy her a $500,000 house, a vacation condo, paid for her full college tuition while I went in the military to pay for college, and they still send her money monthly because she does like to work.
AITA for thinking that the money should belong to me as originally intended, even though I thought it was spent a long time ago? Thank you for taking the time to read this ###### | YTA (sort of) The money/stocks DID belong to you, past tense, yes. However, you were paid for those stocks when you didn’t want them and wanted $3200 instead. So they’re no longer yours at all. They are your parents’ property now and they can split it between the two of you however they please. ###### |
I usually agree with my wife's critiques of things I shouldn't have said to my daughter, but this has bothered me for the past few days so I thought I'd get Reddit's opinion on this. My girl is almost 3, and is at that stage where she's very chatty.
A few days ago, my daughter showed me a broken fingernail and asked if I could help her cut it. I examined it and decided it could be pulled off (it was dangling cos she had chipped it), without using a nail clipper. I then told her not to tell mummy.
Later in the day, she of course proceeds to tell mummy. I say with mock admonishment, "Honey, you're a snitch! I told you not to tell mummy." I didn't expect her to keep it quiet - she is a 2+ year old after all.
Later however, my wife told me that she didn't appreciate me callong our daughter a snitch. She asked why I would ever think it was appropriate, and said, "I wonder what was said to you when you were growing up that made you think that was ok". The reference back to my growing up experiences is a common one, and one I usually agree with - most of my adult reactions do come from unresolved childhood traumas.
However, I'm not sure why my wife felt it was so bad. It wasn't a swear word, and while not overwhelmingly positive was hardly fraught with super negative connotations.
So, Reddit - AITA for calling my 3 year old daughter a snitch? ###### | YTA (ish). Not sure how many commenters here have kids. I always try to think 1) long-game and 2) what can the kid reasonably understand. Kids don’t understand sarcasm/joking at this age. All she knows is daddy thinks she did something wrong. She told mommy what happened. There’s a better than average chance she did t remember that she wasn’t supposed to tell, since she is talking to a person she trusts (mommy) about something that a person she trusts (daddy) did.
I guess my real question is why did pulling a fingernail off even have to be a secret? No one did anything here that seems worth keeping a secret and you don’t want to teach your kid to lie and keep secrets from mom and dad. Also, you are sorry of directly telling her to lie to mom here.
As an additional note, as a father of a daughter (and I am certainly NOT accusing you of this) this is the kind of thing that abusers to do kids so that they don’t tell trusted adults of abuse. Keep her safe. Don’t teach your daughter to hide things from the two people in her life that she needs to be able to be totally honest with. ###### |
My girlfriend (29F) and I (32M) have been together for about 9 months. We are well into each other but we also like to have a joke, myself more than her at times. Some back story, recently she sent a meme which had a picture of three animals. Next to each animal had a small description, rabbit: "rabbits jump and they live for 8 years". Dog: "dogs run and they live for 15 years". Turtle "Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years". She then said she'd call me her little turtle from now because the turtle and I have a few things in common (i take naps) so im assuming she was referring to that. She's not particularly fond of the naps but she didn't mean anything harsh by it, I think it was actually quite sweet but the picture of the turtle was hideous. I mean it would've been nicer if she called me bunny due to my ears or something because the bunny looked cute.
A day later, I thought I should think of a personalised nickname too so I got to thinking and because I think im funny I message her saying "You can be my cute little rat" (because she works for the London underground and there are an abundance of rats there). She got sensitive and didn't appreciate my attempt of a joke. I obviously wasn't being serious but she thinks that was still a little extreme and was upset by it.
So AITA for calling her my cute little rat? ###### | YTA ... You seemed to be REALLY bothered by the turtle thing so you wanted to ‘get her back’ instead of discussing it with her. Did you explain ‘rat’ was because she works underground ? You should apologize for purposely trying to make her feel badly... she was just teasing you with the turtle thing. ###### |
My brother and his wife died, leaving their daughter, my niece, I'm sure a decent amount of money. She's very secretive about how much money it was, and it also came with the option to pay out their mortgage and own their house.
The house isn't great, but with location and lot size, it would probably sell for 500k, but the mortgage is obviously much less made it super cheap. She used part of her inheritance to pay off the mortgage, with the idea that she could safely ride out the country's turmoil there, even though it's not where she really wants to live, it's not a bad commute to anything. She's gutted the place and redone it to her own standards. She resisted living in the area for years but I guess now that she can do it without her parents around with whatever "freedom" she wants it's fine.
One of her cousins, who has an entire family that's on the verge of losing their apartment, may need a place to land. She isn't interested, and they may be homeless. Nobody else has the space or is remotely in the area. It's her or the shelter (if it comes to that).
We want her to share her house with them. She has two spare bedrooms. There's no reason that she can't sacrifice a little for family. They aren't bums, they will contribute what they can. Things have gotten heated, amd there have been threats of throwing her out of the family for being selfish.
She's chosen a victim complex, decided that nobody likes her anyway so she can "do what she wants" and is singlehandedly doing her best to split this family into two sides, those who see reality, and people who think a 25 year old should have her own house regardless of anything else because.... question mark I guess.
She is TWENTY FIVE. She's single (no wonder). She doesn't need an entire house to herself, and she certainly doesn't need to have whatever party house I'm sure she's imagining having. I'm not ASKING her to give it up, just share until there are more stable times. AITA? ###### | YTA , why don't you gift the down on their luck family a place to live, I mean other then the one you don't own?
Not yours to give, she has a home because she has no parents at 25. She's not told how much if any money she inherited because you are the type of person who feels entitled to disperse it.
You want their living situation fixed then you fix it, pay their rent. Surely all of you adults ready to throw a 25 year without parents out of the family must be able to pitch in together to help the almost homeless cousin...*stern face* ###### |
A bit of backstory. I recently got my bike repaired and I been riding my bike alot of the past few days. I usually cycle down footpaths because I would rather not cycle on the road and I live in a medium sized town so there are no cycle lanes. While I was cycling down hil on the footpath this family of 6 were walking towards me. I pulled my brakes and managed to avoid hitting them despite the fact that one of them was walking directly towards me and didn't move an inch. I nearly fell off the road trying to avoid her. After that I heard the same woman say "he shouldn't be on the footpath"
AITA for cycling on the footpath or should she have moved for me? ###### | YTA -the footpath isn't meant for bikes. ###### |
I have four boys - 16yo, 11yo twins and a 7yo. I can't explain it, but there has always been a buffer between me and my 16yo. The best way to describe it is like two magnets pushing each other away. I chalked it up to his wanting to be independent and expected that my other three would be the same. They are not that way. For example, I am very affectionate and playful with my other three kids and they enjoy and seek it. My 16yo was never a huggy kid and preferred to play with kids over me most of the time. I have a connection with the other three that I never had with my 16yo. He is like me in the sense that he has a strong work ethic and is an avid learner. He sets high standards for himself. I absolutely trust him. The biggest irony is that the one male who he is closest with his uncle from his mom's side.
I was having a rare meaningful conversation where I told him all of this. It just came out. I think he was both hurt and complimented at the same time.
I am divorced with their mom, but we co-parent equally. He is closer with her than me. ###### | YTA -
I hope this is fake, cause that sounds like an incredibly heart-breaking thing to hear from your parent. If you had a strained relationship previously, you've just made things way worse.
From the sounds of it, it seems like maybe he's just less affectionate than his siblings. It's pretty common for the oldest to be less likely to wear their heart on their sleeves. There's nothing in your description of his behavior that would signal to me that he feels "less close" to you. It's likely that telling him this was a gut punch.
>I think he was both hurt and complimented at the same time.
He was just hurt. You're delusional if you think he'd feel "complimented" after that. ###### |
I have an 18 and 21yo boys. My relationship with my 18yo is strained because I do far more for my other son and have no shame about it. The reason is that my 21yo is fiercely independent and rarely asks for help even when he should. He feels uncomfortable asking or getting help from anyone. On the rare times that he does ask for help, he is very good at repaying back whatever the help is in anyway that he can. He doesn't like to feel entitled to anyone. My other son is becoming a mooch and is very give an inch, take a mile. He is very good at manipulating people. I've told him that his act hasn't worked on me since he was 11.
I recently bought my 21yo a nice car and put him on my insurance. My 18yo either walks or takes the bus. I could buy him a car, but he would see that my spoiling him and it will open a whole new can of worms to see what else he can get. Had I gotten him a car, he would probably would have asked for customization or complained about not having a sunroof. He didn't get a car, but his brother did so there is a lot of tension in the house. My 21yo is just happy he doesn't have to walk or take the bus. ###### | YTA -
1. Your kid, you had 18 years to stop him being like this
2. You have called him manipulative and spilt since ages 11 and yet you spoil your older even when he doesn’t ask for it
3. Of course there is tension, older kid has a new cat and his insurance paid, younger has to walk or take the bus ###### |
My ex and I have an uneasy co-parenting agreement. Usually it's the details that sparks arguments. My biggest thing is that I don't want them drinking soda (sons are 10 and 13). Soda is awful for kids to drink. When they are with her, she lets them drink Coke for lunch and dinner. They are all hyped up on caffeine and sugar the next morning when I pick them up. Plus it's bad for their teeth. I just spent a lot of money for them to get braces and they have to be extra careful with taking care of their teeth. Her reasoning is that they are old to decide what they want to drink at meals and it's not fair for her to have a Coke and not them.
I had them my half of the week and decided to show them Leprechaun 6: Back to Tha Hood since they couldn't do anything for St. Patrick's Day. They thought it was the funniest movie. The drug references went over their head. My ex had a fit over my showing them an R-rated movie though kids see worse on Youtube. I gave her the same reasoning as she did with giving them Coke - they can start making their own choices on some things. ###### | YTA -
>When they are with her, she lets them drink Coke for lunch and dinner. They are all hyped up on caffeine and sugar the next morning when I pick them up.
The half-life of sugar is less than an hour and they are not still "hyped up" on it a day after drinking soda. Would have probably said "no assholes here", but the petty attempt at adding a fictional "equalizer" screams "asshole" to me. ###### |
This might sound bad, but I've always been the class clown, funny type of dude, usually, my son (M19) loves it, and he's more like a friend than a son (he's a great kid, honor roll, all that). The other day, he came to me and told me he had to tell me and his mom something super important.
Now, we had our suspicions, but he confirmed them when he told us that he was indeed, GAY. Neither I nor my wife have a problem with that, so when he told us, I laughed and yelled out, "HA! GAYYYYY" like that skit from who knows what show a few years ago.
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He didn't take it as well as I expected and started crying before running off and slamming the door. My wife says ITA, but I thought it was hilarious. Reddit, what do you think? (I will apologize to him once he calms down). ###### | YTA -- for being a grown adult who refers to his personality as a "class clown". How long ago was high school, buddy? Might want to update those character traits.
Your son gave you strong clues as to what kind of discussion he wanted to have. He did not begin the conversation by saying: "Let's act out a skit that neither of us are completely aware of enough to know who originally created but clearly should be a part of my important declaration." He said he wanted to talk to you about something "important". Regardless of how *you* like to interact with the world, your son asked you to treat his message as important - not humorous, not as an opening for you attempt to be humorous and shift the spotlight, not as a joke.
Humor is often used to diffuse vulnerability. Without vulnerability, there is no trust. You need to be vulnerable with your son and offer him a true apology if you ever hope he will trust you with important information in the future. ###### |
Info- I met my boyfriend’s son about two months ago. He’s 13. My boyfriend was a single parent for most of his son’s life, so they’re really close.
His son often snuggles with him on the couch every night before bed, as he curls up next to him, he’ll say something along the lines of “Hey baby,” or “c’mere baby.”
He also calls him “baby,” whenever he wakes him up. He’ll sit on his bed and shake him awake, he’ll also call me “bubba and buddy.” That doesn’t bother me at all though.
Calling him “baby,” makes me uncomfortable. I feel like it’s weird. I just feel like a teen shouldn’t like to be called that. Would I be the asshole if I asked him to stop? I wouldn’t wanna hurt him or anything. It just kinda makes me uncomfortable.
Edit: Spelling ###### | YTA - Your two months of knowing your BF’s son, vs the thirteen years they’ve had? Who are you to tell him how he should talk to his son who you’ve only known for 60 days. ###### |
I spent a fortune putting in an apple and avocado trees. They have to be planted in a certain spot in the yard to receive maximum sunlight. Fruit is starting to drop and some of it is dropping into my neighbor's yard. I kindly asked them to put anything that falls into their yard over to our yard. Instead, they're eating my fruit. I decided to shame them by posting a sign pointing to their house calling them thieves. ###### | YTA - your tree is encroaching on their Property. It is very annoying that you put it so close. They now have to ensure they pick up their yard every time they want to mow their grass and make sure they don’t allow fruit to fester. And apparently it comes with an annoying neighbor who feels entitled to make demands and being spiteful.
Anything in their yard belongs to them. They can also legally choose to cut off the branches that hang over the fence so nobody gets the fruit and it damages your fancy trees. Also avocado tree sprouts cost $40 at the hardware store. Grow up ###### |
My ex and I have a 12yo son who splits his time between us. We literally live across the street from each other. We both had to work at our offices and our son asked to stay home to do his online classes. My ex wanted him to go to work with me but I said to let him stay and be independent (he is at my house today).
I got a call from my ex asking me why our son wasn't online at his classes (the teacher emails you if the student isn't online). I told him to call our son and he said he did. I tried calling him to no avail. My ex got mad and demanded that I leave work to check on him and I told him since he worked closer.
My son called me 20 mins in tears that his dad yelled at him and took his Xbox away and didn't tell him when he would get it back. He said he missed one class because he overslept. He said his alarm didn't go off so it wasn't his fault.
I called my ex and he said he's taking the Xbox for the weekend for missing class and didn't care the circumstances. I told him to cut him slack. He's generally a good kid and under a lot of stress. He said he did not care and better learn now than later.
I told him he was acting like a psycho and be hung up on me. ###### | YTA - Your kid skipped school. I would have taken his XBOX too ###### |
My daughter (15) had come to me to tell me that theres a possibility that social services or police might contact her and I would have to be there too. This is all because her best friend (also 15) had been telling her about how she had been abused by a relative. They have been texting about it, and my daughter had told a teacher instead of telling me about it first, which I understand that she was worried. This caused social services to be involved and the parents of her friend who didnt know about the abuse, contacted my daughter.
So as she was telling me about this, many days later after actually reporting it, I told her she shouldnt have reported it. I said that she should have convinced her friend to tell a teacher or someone because I didnt want my daughter involved. I tried to explain to her that if the abuser and family found out that she reported it then maybe they could do something bad to her.
By the end of the conversation she was crying, which is unlike her because I didnt realise she would be so sensitive about it. I told my sister about this whole situation and she thinks I'm right for saying that she shouldnt have gotten involved and not wanting my daughter to get too close to that friend anymore. However my daughter is upset about this all, so I'm not sure whether what I said was really that bad. I'm just trying to protect her, and dont want her involved and exposed to bad things. ###### | YTA - your daughter did a brave and helpful thing, often times victims have trouble telling authority figures they are being abused. Are you really OK with a child being abused a day longer than they had been ###### |
I (37f) am going through a very nasty divorce with my husband (40m). We have a 13 year old daughter.
2 months ago my husband was at his parents house. I went to a bar and had a one night stand for reasons I wont state here. He found out and immediately filed for a divorce and didn't give me time to explain (which I admit I hold resentment for).
Our daughter does not know about me seeing someone else and her father wont tell her, so she wants to primarily live with me even though we have joint custody. She came home from school one day and told me about a plan to get her father to let her stay at my house full time. She was going to spread a few rumors to get his friends to persuade him that he is wrong. I had no problem as I wanted my daughter to live here.
Soon, half of his friends turned on him and the rest told him to let her stay here which he did. I saw him a couple days later crying at a bar and I felt bad at the moment until I saw him with a hooker next week. Though i really feel bad that some of his friends left him as i know how that feels.
So reddit, AITA for letting my daughter go through with this? I really just wanted to live with my daughter as she is all I have left without my husband.
Edit: I see how I could be the asshole for cheating I will contact the father and if he doesn't tell her the situation (which he doesn't know the full story too) then she can know that way. ###### | YTA - you’re the reason why you’re getting divorced, and you don’t have the guts to tell your kid it was you? You’ve essentially brainwashed her into thinking that you’re the better one, and using her to ruin your husbands life. If I was your husband, I’d have filed for divorce sooner, you manipulative lobscouse ###### |
I know this is very small stakes, but here it goes.
I have a kind of uncommon name, that if you take away the last letter becomes a very common name. Eg. Imagine my name is Vickie, where Vicki is the much more common spelling (It’s probably not as uncommon as Vickie though). I cannot count the number of times that people have misspelled my name in digital communication when my name is literally written there for them. There is no excuse for getting it wrong, and although it’s small I find it infuriating that people can’t be bothered to even read my name.
I opened a support request on a website because something was broken today (where it had my username that has my first name in it, my email address that has my name in it, and I had to explicitly state my name) and when the support person responded they left the e off the end of my name. I was having a bad day anyway, and when I saw this I was so annoyed that when I responded I left the last letter off their name in my response.
I mentioned this to a friend and they thought it was really passive aggressive and a bit of a dick move to do that, said that their finger could have slipped and that I didn’t know if they’d done it deliberately. I’m just sick and tired of people doing this to me, and thought it was a reasonable response that doesn’t make a big issue of it, but highlights to them what they’ve done. AITA? ###### | YTA - you're taking out your collective frustration on a random individual.
it's not going to change anything about how often you encounter this issue, it won't teach him a lesson and you're never going to interact with this person again anyway.
you did something deliberately, something that you personally find really irritating.. so yes, you are the asshole ###### |
Throwaway. This was a while ago actually,
So (before lockdown) me (20M) and my gf, and friends used to go hang out and stuff, since we're all close.
Anyway so my GF wanted to bring her friend, lets call her friend Lily, who she's been friends with for a while. I knew Lily was her friend but I haven't ever met her, just heard some funny stories about her, and the way my gf talks about her, I wanted to meet her.
So my gf brought Lily and well lets just say...Lily was definitely really attractive. She did have a nice body, and that was visible because she was wearing a crop top and jean-shorts.
She was really outgoing, funny, overall nice and we all hit it off with her really quickly. Anyhow, when we were all having a fun time, we went driving to go somewhere, and then Lily had to go to the washroom, so we stopped near a restaurant so she could go. She went...and quickly came back 2 minutes later. She looked really relieved when she was with us and after asking her what happened she told us that some random guys were looking at her, and she thinks they were following her. She called them 'low-life creeps..' and then I just said, as a joke, I didn't really mean it, 'Maybe you shouldn't have been wearing those clothes, are you really surprised?'
Ohhhh, she glared at me, and told me to 'fuck off, and fix your misogynistic views..' or something along the lines of that.
It was awkward for a few minutes, the drive, and Lily was giving me the cold-shoulder the whole night.
When I was driving my GF home (after dropping off everyone) she asked me why I said that, and told me that was super wrong and I should've apologized. I just stared at her, then nodded cause I was too tired to say anything.
I don't get why I should apologize, it was a joke literally, and even if it wasn't, if she didn't want people staring at her, she shouldn't have worn something so revealing. I'm not saying its her fault, but some people are going to be creeps. So A.I.T.A reddit? ###### | YTA - you're absolutely blaming her for people's gross behavior. People shouldn't be creepy period. It's not her fault. It doesn't matter what she wears. ###### |
Ok please hear me out before you judge...
Me and my friend have always been very into dieting and watching life style vlogs and overall keeping fit. The past few months she’s started gaining quite a bit. I don’t want her to become this unattractive person after all the work we have put in, I want her to be happy and meet someone and I’m terrified this isn’t going to happen if she carries on.
She isn’t actually at the point yet where she’s overweight but I can tell she is going to get there if I don’t intervene. I don’t want her to regret her decisions in a few months when she looks in the mirror so I want to prevent this as soon as possible because it will be easier for her to start her diet again than to have to work to lose all of this excess fat at the rate she is going.
We have always took pride in how we present ourselves and honestly it hurts to watch her do this because I know how much she is going to regret it!
WIBTA if I step in and tell her that she can’t continue her current lifestyle because she’s getting fat/gaining weight. ###### | YTA - you sound like a narcissist. Why does your friend's body matter to you anyway? ###### |
So, my girl friend and I are in a long distance relationship and today is her bday. We live in different states so I can't see her or travel to her. We were suppose to be in the Bahamas right now, but due to everything going on right now, we couldn’t do that.
I booked a Bahamas trip this week for 4th of July weekend and was going to fly her down to where I live. I didn't ask first because I know she can choose when she works and I wanted to surprise her and figured I can always compensate her for not going to work.
I took off work over 2 months in advance so I would 100% have the time off and told her the plans tonight. She is upset because the week I will be flying her down and we will be going, it’s her moms bday and she won’t feel right being in the same state and not seeing her mom. (We will be in this state for a few hours before we head over to the Bahamas lol... also her mom lives like 6 hours away)
She seems upset over this especially because I said I’m not rebooking and changing the dates - and she told my twin bro (they’re really close) that I should have asked her first and that you should always spend your moms bday with her.
I feel like she’s not grateful for the trip I’m taking her on, and wants to do everything for her mom and doesn’t even care to see me. Am I the asshole for not wanting to rebook the trip I already took time off for? ###### | YTA - you should never make expensive or
Extravagant plans that involve leaving the country before consulting the other party. I can see you were trying to do a nice thing, but your execution was poor. She could have any number of things planned- especially during a holiday. You should have asked instead of automatically assuming she would be willing and able. ###### |
My fiancée is 7 months pregnant. Pretty exciting and everything's been going according to plan with no complications. Only problem is that my beloved fiancée has the world's weirdest cravings and when they hit, she becomes crazy until she gets it and then she wouldn't eat it saying it's disgusting. Between that, constantly making food for her (day or night) and messaging her feet, I needed a break. Actually she was the one who suggested it earlier in the pregnancy.
So I packed my a bag filled with clothes, called both of her sisters (who were willing and are extremely helpful) and asked them to look after her for the week while I went to stay at my best friend's house. I wrote a note for her just to say goodbye since she was dead asleep and explain that I'm still available if there's a problem or something and that she should ask her sister to call me. And then I left. It was amazing and a breath of fresh air staying with my friend although i started to miss her so after four days and a half days, I came back home.
Problem is, now she's angry at me for leaving her and now I'm sleeping on the couch. I get that she can't necessarily take a break herself but she had her sisters' support and help the whole time and if I stayed I would've lost my mind. Aita? ###### | YTA - You should have had a face-to-face conversation with her about your plan. And I’m sure she didn’t mean a week disappearance when she’s so far along.
And maybe you should have communicated some of your issues with her. Not bottled them in and then disappeared. ###### |
I (27M) met her (26F) a little over 1 year ago, and it was actually her who asked me out. At first it wasn't serious but within a few months we were officially dating. I did grow to love her but it did seem like she was more into me than me into her, but now I'd say its equal.
Anyway, for the longest time I avoided meeting her family because doing so would confirm to myself that we were serious. But eventually I grew the balls to do it and realized her family is filthy rich. I never would have known It because it seems like she really tried hard to be modest about things.
Like, I'm talking multi millions. Her dad owns a very successful business. Turns out I got on great with her family, especially her dad. He took a liking to me, and offered me a job at his business. It's pretty high paying too and not a low level position.
After this, I mulled over things and decided to propose to her which she obviously said yes.
Well when I spoke to one of my friends, we were talking about getting married and he asked me whether her family's financial status had any sway in my decision to propose... and I said "yes of course, it is fucking awesome" and he looked at me weird and called me asshole. AITA? ###### | YTA - you said yourself that you didn’t want to meet the family because it would mean y’all were really serious. You weren’t as into it as she was, as you said. But after finding out her family is wealthy, and you were offered a probably lucrative job yourself, THEN you decided you’d propose.
From the sound of your post, you were on the fence about even being with this girl, and now you wanna get married? Bro, you’re the definition of a gold digger. I hope they require you to sign a prenup at the very least! ###### |
I met a guy a while ago and we hit it off. We talked every hour of every day for 3-4 months, but chose not to date because of our differing plans for next year. We both agreed that we’d come back after next year and decide to date or not. We continued acting like a couple without formally calling it a “relationship.”
A while later, I realized that acting like a couple without actually being one (just to separate in a few months when he leaves to another country) is pointless. I told him that we should act like friends. He agreed and we still continued talking but he would still flirt. I told him again that we should act like friends and he got hurt this time for some reason.
A while later, he asked me if I still liked him and if I was talking to anybody else. I told him I did like him, and I was not a “thing” with anybody else and had no intention of dating anybody else. He still got upset and we stopped speaking so often when my grandfather passed that same day. He’d occasionally text me that he’s going to NJ. I assumed it was to meet some friends.
I found out very recently from pictures my friend sent me that he has been in a relationship with his best friend for the past two weeks (who lives in NJ!) -The same girl who lusted after him while we were seriously talking (he would tell me he could tell she likes him from the way she talks to him, but said he doesn’t like her at all.) I texted him asking him to confirm, and he simply said he is dating her, and has been for two weeks already. I was shocked and fuming.
AITA for expecting him to tell me he’s in a relationship or is it none of my business if we technically are just friends now? ###### | YTA - You made it clear you wanted to just be friends, so no he doesn't owe you a heads up if he starts dating someone.
You have a right to feel upset that someone you have feelings for has started dating someone else, but you don't have a right to be angry at him for not telling you. ###### |
I know, it sounds like a favor. But isn’t this also a bit of being nosy?
We are all at their retreat and having a nice time. He doesn’t say much: takes his ultrasonic turbo jet and decides to wash my car. Granted, my car was dirty. But isn’t that my call to make?
So then my wife asks why I didn’t go compliment my in-law because he washed my car. Mind that this is a somewhat repetitive behavior of his: mind other people’s business. Gee, he hands me napkins when he sees my hands are dirty because I *might* need them.
So fine, he wanted to wash it with my 4 year old, that was considered at some point, and I also didn’t like that because it’s a dad-son thing I could do myself. But I’d be ok with that. Yet, my 4yo didn’t join him, and he still didn’t give up the idea. He spent 2 hours washing my car, when nobody asked him to.
Of course, I’ll say eventually that yeah, looks great, thanks. But if I’m to be honest, I don’t like that. It’s like saying “your car is too dirty” or something.
To illustrate my point to my wife, I said “imagine by mom entering our house, removing our curtains and laundering them. What would you make of it?”.
So, AITA for not being particularly pleased? ###### | YTA - you haven't told him that you for some reason feel violated, and it appears he's just trying to bond with you. A thank-you is not gonna kill you and it appears you just don't like him.
Many people would yearn for a FIL this considerate and kind
He gave you a napkin when your hands were dirty??? HOLY FUCK WHAT A VIOLATING MANIPULATIVE FIL! ###### |
Basically, a few months ago I got kicked out of school. I deserved it, my behaviour was wrong, and I truly do feel bad for what I did. Although I do still feel bad, I was really happy for the clean slate it gave me. I started at a new school, made some new friends, got in with the "right" people and I'm really really happy.
Now, the other night I was talking to a friend on the phone and they mentioned they might be switching to the school I got kicked out of. I told them that I would not remain friends with them if they switched to this school.
My reason for saying what I said is that I hate that school. The teachers, people, everything about it. I am not in contact with anyone from that school, I don't want to be associated with it anymore and I'm afraid if I remain friends with them if they switch to this school, then I'll be associated with it.
My friend says I'm the asshole because I said I wouldn't remain friends with them. They said "switching schools won't change who I am".
Yes, it won't change who they are, but it will change a lot in our friendship if they choose to attend this school.
​
Reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA - you gonna end a friendship because they are gonna move to a school you admitted you deserved to be kicked out off?
Yeah you are the asshole here ###### |
My fiancée I always knew isn’t the strongest person, she struggles to open jars and lift stuff sometimes, but that never seemed like too much of an issue.
Last week I was watching one of those stupid videos where the guy does 50 push ups a day for a month. My fiancée sat down next to me and commented how impressive it was because she can’t even do one. I was flabbergasted because she only weighs a little above 100 pounds, there’s hardly anything to lift. I could see if she was on the heavier side but she’s not.
I haven’t worked out for real in years, I go to the gym once in a while to make sure I haven’t completely lost my ability to function, and I can do a push-up. I can’t do a ton of them but I can do 20-30 in a row.
I asked her to demonstrate and she did, and she literally couldn’t do it. The absolute lack of strength was astonishing. So I ordered 4, 6 and 10 pound weights online.
They came today and she got to the box before me, and asked why I ordered light weights. I said they were for her and she got super pissed off and said it was rude and mean to get her weights when she didn’t ask for them.
I don’t understand how she can live with herself not even being able to lift her own body weight. I mean she’s not sickly or diseased, she doesn’t have a genetic disorder, I can’t see how she can’t do one.
AITA? ###### | YTA - you gave her chore, not a present. How would you feel if she got you *insert tool for a chore you hate here*? ###### |
I’m currently dating one of my employees, we’ll call her Scarlett but I just went through a drawn out divorce and she doesn’t want people to think she’s only succeeding in her career because she’s sleeping with the boss so we haven’t told anyone. There is another woman who works for me and we’ll call her Nicole.
Nicole and Scarlett do not get along. I think Nicole sees Scarlett’s success and thinks it all has to do with being beautiful and charismatic but there is a lot more to it. She’s honestly one of the smartest most driven people I’ve ever met.
I work late a lot but I always let my employees go on time. I was in the office at about six, Scarlett was there as well and I thought everyone else had gone home. I went into the break room to get something out of the refrigerator and I didn’t turn the light on. I heard footsteps, thought Scarlett was the only person there and decided to scare her.
Well I scared Nicole. We were both embarrassed but I apologized multiple times though I’m sure Scarlett smirking in the doorway didn’t help. Anyway Nicole kept whining about how much she hates being scared and that her father used to do that (I have a kid, all fathers do that) but she kept acting like t was so traumatic and I finally told her she needs to calm down.
She called out sick for Monday and now I feel like it’s because of what I said and I kind of feel like an ass. ###### | YTA - You don’t get to decide what is and isn’t triggering for someone. You’re on your way to a lovely little meeting with HR if you keep up the complete lack of regard for your employees’ emotional well-being. ###### |
I’ll try and keep this as short as possible. My girlfriend loves musicals. I hate them. I find them incredibly stupid and unnecessary. Anywhere we take turns having a movie night I constantly have to veto her musical stuff. She’s mad because she watches all of my stuff but I won’t watch her stuff (I just won’t watch her musicals.. but that’s like atleast 50% of what she wants to watch).
Anyway she tried to suggest a musical again tonight and I said “are you gonna fucking pick something else for once? Seriously?” And she got pissed and asked my why I hate musicals so much and feel the need to “shit on her passions”. And I just said well because they’re fucking stupid and serve no purpose. I don’t have any other reason. She got even more mad and just said fine and she left the room and told me to watch my own movie. I feel like she’s overreacting. I feel like you shouldn’t force people to watch your shit taste in movies. AITA? ###### | YTA - you don't compromise at all. If she's watching your shows/movies/whatever then you can watch her musicals without throwing a fit. Also what's with this veto thing? Does she get to veto your stuff? If not, then you don't respect her opinion.
And they do serve a purpose, like every other movie/show/etc. Musicals are for ENTERTAINMENT. Their purpose is to entertain and, if she enjoys them, then they are serving their purpose.
​
>“are you gonna fucking pick something else for once? Seriously?”
I can see why she left the room. You're insufferable. ###### |
When I was 18 I got pregnant with my boyfriend at the time. He really pushed for an abortion but I had extremely strict parents who were against it, so I had her. She’s now 13, beautiful and very popular. Her father isn’t in her life. I love her, it’s a given I love her, she’s my daughter.
I’ve never been an overly affectionate person, cuddling and verbally showing my daughter affection just isn’t something I feel comfortable doing, and I didn’t think it was much of an issue to her.
Last night at the dinner table, we somehow got onto the topic of affection. She opened up and told me that she was jealous of her friends families who were open with love and displayed lots of affection. She said she wanted to discuss the potential of telling each other we love each other and hugging and stuff. I told her that I don’t feel the need to tell her I love her, and that she should just know that I do because I’m her mom.
She got upset and went upstairs to her room, and I heard her on the phone to her best friend saying that she feels like I don’t love her. I talked to my parents about it and they told me an I’m asshole for not having at least a conversation with her about it. AITA? ###### | YTA - you do realise plenty of parents don’t actually love their kids right?
How is she suppose to know you love her if you don’t show/tell her
Just because your suppose to love her doesn’t mean you do/will
Worse still you won’t even have a conversation about it, you won’t even let her explain herself or how she feels ###### |
I had 3 kids before getting married my husband has none. We just had our first child together and I got on birth control soon after birth without telling my husband.
He loves our/my kids but wants more but I don't. He also the sole provider and I'm a stay at home mom. AITA for "trying to conceive" knowing it ain't gone happen. Or should I give him more children? ###### | YTA - You do not "owe" your husband more children, but you do owe him honesty. Tell him you don't want more children. ###### |
It’s in the title, my gf has been feeling insecure about her own body (she’s gorgeous) and she made me unfollow this girl from work because supposedly she has a “nicer body than her” (find her average imo). The coworker came up to me and asked me why I unfollowed her and I said it was because my girlfriend made me unfollow her, I just had to. And she said “Awh that’s so sad of her why” and I said “because she thinks you’re prettier than her”. She said “awhh” and walked away. My gf found out and she said I betrayed confidentiality and that I have given a boost to her ego. My girlfriend is so beautiful, like a 10, why are they all insecure? I feel like I am the asshole because I told her the truth. Why is that a beautiful girl gets insecure over an average Nancy. I don’t sexualize my coworkers at all ###### | YTA - you dissed your gf to another woman - one your gf is insecure over because of you looking at her pics.
In expository terms: you discussed private relationship info with someone who didn’t need to know to stay in that person’s good graces - when you could’ve just said a white lie like “I work with you and felt like I was intruding on your private life”, or the grown man answer: “I wanted to.” ###### |
So my sister (14) ALWAYS steals my (16F) clothes, like I swear every time I go into my closet or jewelry chest there is always something missing. Her friends who live next door, have a pool in their backyard and she is always over there swimming with them, for the longest time my parents didn't let her wear a 2 piece swim suit and she said that she looked like a 5 year old when she was the only one in a one piece. I never told her she could use mine (we are pretty much identical when it comes to size) but she would always steal my pairs ALL the time.
I don't know when but I guess they recently loosened up on the rules for her and she has bought her own 2 piece swim suits now. She came home the other day in a 2 piece suit that I KNOW I own, same style, same color and same design, I got pissed and told her to stop taking my shit. She told me that it was hers and to get off her ass, I didn't believe her and she told me that mom loosened up the restriction for her. I checked my closet and it was there but I was still kind of annoyed cause she bought the exact. same. pair. as the one I had and she had to know that I hate when she takes my clothes and I just see this as her trying to rile me up. She told me to apologize and I said that she shouldn’t be shocked when I accuse her of stealing when she doesn’t it all the time. AITA? ###### | YTA - you could have handled that better, and why not apologize? ###### |
Throw away account.
I (20M)) don’t think I did anything wrong, but my friends are all saying I’m an asshole. So I have a group of friends and we’re quite frankly, nerds. We met this girl I’ll call L two years ago. The other guys all like her, think she’s great and she knows all about things we’re into, but I had a feeling she’s not really one of us. I put up with it for two years, but I can’t shake the feeling. So the last time we were together before quarantine, I decided to test her nerd. She seemed surprised but could answer all my questions, until I got to Star Trek. I was feeling pretty confident, until she asked me to clarify. Apparently I misspoke, and accidentally asked a trick question. My friends all jumped on me accusing me of being an asshole and she didn’t need to pass some test to hangout with them and how I needed to get over it. Another friend pointed out that I wasn’t the guardian of the group. I got mad no one was on my side and left. Quarantine happened shortly after, and I recently found out they’ve all been chatting with her. I told her I didn’t appreciate her trying to steal my friends. She never replied, but one of my friends bitched at me for a while. I got mad no one was listening to me and said it’s her or me. He said her. None of my other friends have messaged me since.
My brother says I was trying to be king of the nerds and gatekeeping, and should apologize. I don’t think I have anything to apologize for and they should apologize for not hearing me out. So tell me, am I the asshole for just trying to make sure L was actually a nerd like us? ###### | YTA - You are SO the asshole. This is a major problem in what is now male dominated fandoms (yes, I'm calling sports a fandom). Women don't need to know every single thing about a series/game/sport to be a fan/nerd. There is no reason for gatekeeping like this. A lot of men wonder why they can't find women who like the same things they do. THIS IS WHY. They chase all the women who are moderately interested in it out.
I've got new for you on the Star Trek portion, buddy. The oldest fans that know the most about this franchise are women. You would not have conventions, message boards, or zines without them. It was considered to be a silly soap opera until men got interested in it. Feel grateful these women haven't stripped you of your nerd cred. ###### |
My best fiend replies really slow to texts. Whenever she replies I reply back ASAP and then she takes over half an hour or more (sometimes even a whole day) to reply back. We rarely have ‘flowy’ convos where both parties reply on time.
Yesterday I got annoyed and told her that I stop whatever I’m doing to reply to her and I don’t understand how she can’t do the same. Instead, she replied back saying that she’s grateful that I reply back ASAP but we’re two different people and she doesn’t like stopping what she’s doing in the middle to reply back to a text but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t value me and she again emphasised the “different people, different personalities” thing. That pissed me off even more and I left her on read. She texted me again and I left her on read once more.
This morning she asked me why I left her on read and I told her ‘I was watching a Netflix show and didn’t want to stop it in the middle:))’ and she just said ‘oh okay, text me when you’re free then’. How can she be so oblivious that I’m doing the exact thing she does to make her understand how annoying it is? Instead she’s acting like it doesn’t matter to her and honestly it’s just pissing me off further. We’re both in our early 20s and it’s really immature of her to act like this.
Am I an asshole for expecting basic human decency and for her to treat me the same way I treat her? ###### | YTA - You are not being denied “basic human decency” if someone doesn’t respond to your texts immediately. Honestly, you sound exhausting. ###### |
I am a 35 year old man. I have a 17 year old daughter and a 15 year old son from a new relationship. My daughter a week back told me she hates me and told me that she decided she does not want me to be in her life because I did not like her girlfriend and I was strict on her compared to my son who rarely gets in trouble now after being punished harshly.
My daughter told me the next time she goes to her moms house she is never coming back. I said okay. I told her to give me her phone and laptop as I paid for it and she gave it to me saying she is an independent women and does not need things purchased from a man. My daughter left yesterday. I have full control over her college fund as I paid for it 100%. I cancelled it and put the money into my sons college fund.
Her mom found out after I told her and told her daughter. Last night my daughter called and screamed at me telling me I am selfish and sexist for moving the college fund to my son. I said well you are an independence women and that you disowned me a few nights back. I don't think I am giving your college fund to you. My daughter cried and closed the phone
edit 1 - daughter cut of all contact after the conversation. The money is 100% mine not ex. Daughter said herself she did not need the money as she is a strong independent girl. I gave the money to my son to help improve his college experience after daughter left for good ###### | YTA - you are her PARENT. she is a child. children have moments of anger, pain, and hurt. she is experiencing that and because of the way you treat her, she is reacting.
By retaliating and taking away her college fund, you are convincing her of every single negative thought she’s ever had of you.
Take it from someone who hasn’t spoken to their father in nearly 10 years, unless you want that relationship broken forever, mend fences in the way that SHE needs. She is growing, you are not. ###### |
Me and four friends have a WhatsApp group where we post pictures and talk about girls, mostly girls we know in real life, who we think are hot, and then the others can weigh in on it. It's quite interesting, for instance I found out that the girl I had quite a crush on for a while now, my friends don't seem to find much attractive. She's really cute though, tiny with short hair and a very delicate body.
The other day my sister saw some of the messages from that group on my phone and when she realised what it was about she tried to shame me for it and claimed we were objectifying women, which was misogynistic.
I don't think that's accurate though, and it's not like girls don't talk about what guys they find attractive.
So AITA for participating in this group with my friends? ###### | YTA - You are an asshole for the way you've gone about discussing this. You actively made a separate whatsapp group for you and friends, specifically to post pictures of people you know and judge/rate them based on their looks. It's one thing to have that discussion with a group of friends in a conversation, as you said woman discuss other men. It's another thing entirely to actively make a dedicated group for this and to me also comes across as very creepy. ###### |
I (F24) am getting married to the most amazing man this summer - we'll call him Ken (M22). He has invited 2 of his best friends from college, Alex (M23) and Nicole (F22). I have hung out with both Alex and Nicole several times, but Ken is closer to them than I am.
So Ken and I both think our religion is really important to us. The ceremony is happening in our dream church and like 80% of the guests are from either his church or mine (the other 20% are family). Alex is some kind of Catholic, but Nicole has never been baptized or even gone to mass before. According to Ken, she has no interest in religion. This bothers me a lot because I feel like she won't appreciate our ceremony or the church. Nicole is also very exotic looking, with brown skin and dark hair (her parents are from South Asia) so people will already be giving her looks anyway (not a lot of diversity in me or Ken's families).
Here's the issue: Nicole partied a lot in college - drinking, smoking, everything. She would post pics of herself in crop tops and tight jeans WEEKLY. I'm worried that she will wear something inappropriate to my wedding, drawing even more attention to herself.
I asked Ken to ask Alex to talk to Nicole, but Ken never did. So I texted Nicole and discreetly brought up that I'd like to approve her outfit before she bought anything tasteless. Nicole told me that she will do no such thing, and I told her I'm worried she will feel uncomfortable with people staring at her. She is adamant that nobody will be staring at her and that she will wear what she wants. I asked her to promise me that it wouldn't be anything inappropriate, but she hasn't responded.
AITA? I"m terrified she is going to show up to my beautiful wedding wearing something outrageous just to get back at me. I was genuinely just trying to help her. ###### | YTA - you are absolutely the judgy, presumptive, rude asshole.
I'm quite sure Nicole is an adult and has heard of weddings and churches before....I'm sure she understands how to conduct herself at family gatherings.
If you don't respect her enough to trust her to dress herself why are you even having her at your wedding? ###### |
My girlfriend (29F) and I (32M) have been together for about 9 months. We are well into each other but we also like to have a joke, myself more than her at times. Some back story, recently she sent a meme which had a picture of three animals. Next to each animal had a small description, rabbit: "rabbits jump and they live for 8 years". Dog: "dogs run and they live for 15 years". Turtle "Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years". She then said she'd call me her little turtle from now because the turtle and I have a few things in common (i take naps) so im assuming she was referring to that. She's not particularly fond of the naps but she didn't mean anything harsh by it, I think it was actually quite sweet but the picture of the turtle was hideous. I mean it would've been nicer if she called me bunny due to my ears or something because the bunny looked cute.
A day later, I thought I should think of a personalised nickname too so I got to thinking and because I think im funny I message her saying "You can be my cute little rat" (because she works for the London underground and there are an abundance of rats there). She got sensitive and didn't appreciate my attempt of a joke. I obviously wasn't being serious but she thinks that was still a little extreme and was upset by it.
So AITA for calling her my cute little rat? ###### | YTA - yeahhhhh, swing and a miss. You many have meant nothing by it, but you called your girlfriend a rat at the end of the day. She probably won’t hold it against you, but I’d keep shopping for that nickname. ###### |
I just met my neighbor yesterday officially and we’re talking and we brought up handwriting. I said schools need to stop teaching cursive because it’s beyond outdated and useless. She got offended because she is a graphologist(someone who studies hand writing) she also wrote her dissertation on it. I told her we’re in a digital age and, need to teach typing. She just brought up emotional points like how beautiful it is to write in cursive. “It’s an essential form of communication”. I asked her how is cursive going to help someone get a job. Most of the words we read today is on a screen. After a while I got frustrated. I said,”just because you studied a useless topic doesn’t mean we should keep living in the past”. Her only argument is that I didn’t graduate. I told her my job is actually important(programmer). “There is a reason why I get paid good and my job is in demand”. She stormed off afterwards. AITA ###### | YTA - wtf you just tore apart her passion for no reason? It doesn't matter if you think it's pointless. If someone enjoys something, and it's not hurting anyone else, then you are absolutely the AH for ripping into it for no reason ###### |
My boyfriend had passed away due to heath complications and I have been crying ever since. My son hasn't really shown any emotion to his passing but I thought that he was just holding it in, so yesterday I called my son downstairs and asked him to talk. I told him that he doesn't have to hold in his emotions about him passing and that it's ok to be sad, and he told me "I'm not sad" I was taken aback because he was like a father figure to my son. I asked him why and he said "I mean it's sad he passed away but I don't really feel affected by it" I told him that he was like a father to him and that he should be very upset and he said that he didn't think of him like a father figure just because he lived in our house. I yelled at him for and said "Is that really all you think of him he would try to be the best father figure for you and you say these disrespectful things, I told him to go to his room and we haven't spoken since then. My friend had called me asking how I was holding up and I told her what happened and she said that she agreed with my son with her saying "He doesn't have to be sad" so reddit AITA? ###### | YTA - Who the heck are you? The grief police?
You don't get to dictate how your son sees and values the people in his life and how their passing affects him. Grow up and stop projecting your feelings on your child.
Edit: Thanks for the award! ###### |
I (20M) have responded very well to this lockdown. I live in the UK.
I've tuned out all the news (blocked it all) and have isolated myself further from even calling friends. I've focused on myself and went deeper and deeper into the depths of my mind. I've underwent a voyage into my mind. An odyssey of sorts.
I'm mentally and emotionally growing. I'm figuring things out that would take years to figure. I've confronted the darkest corners of my mind, and came into the light.
My sister (22F) on the other hand has struggle because she can no longer party and meet up with friends. She started crying and I told her that she needs to confront her demons ans go deeper into her mind like I did. I then said "I'm grateful for the lockdown". She then call me AH and left.
Maybe I was AH idk? I just feel she Is wasting the opportunity to go deep into her mind like I did. I meditate 2 hours a day to go into my mind and see my worst memories... and I have come to the other side. AITA? ###### | YTA - while you are in the depths of your mind, try and find some empathy. ###### |
So my girlfriend got laid off from her previous job and has been searching ever since. I still have my job and have to work from home during this time which led to my co worker quiting abruptly because she had her own issues so now I have double the workload. My girlfriend sent her CV in but hasn't heard anything or gotten a reply so she asked me to talk to my boss to connect the two of them. It's unprofessional but my boss and I have a great relationship so I called him. Told him about the issue (he understood) and then added her so she could speak to him herself.
She was awful. It was like an informal interview but she still messed it up. She couldn't even answer simple questions about her qualifications and what type of person she is. When it got too bad I took her off and spoke to my boss to try repair thing for her. He said he'd look into it but he's not really impressed.
Now my gf is fuming, calling all sorts of names, putting vague messages for me on her story, etc. She says I shouldn't have added her on without talking to her about it but she wasn't clear. I feel bad for her but still. AITA?
EDIT: What I understood from what she said was to create conference call so they could talk and I'll just be there as the mutual party ###### | YTA - while it was good that you tried to get her a job. Dropping her in cold, without any prep, into an impromptu interview is a good way to make sure she fucks it up. ###### |
My boyfriend has very long hair. To keep it out of his face while he is at work and to keep comfortable he wears bandannas. to put it simply: he wears them too much. I told him I wanted them to stay in his locker at work or in his truck. He told me that he enjoys wearing them around the house and when he is doing yard work because they are comfortable. But he won’t wear them out in public when we go somewhere together. I wasn’t particularly happy with that but I dealt with it until Friday. I dropped him off and picked him up from work so we could go to fleet farm and pick up some supplies for a project, he wore the bandanna he wore to work on the ride there, in the store, and all the way back home. I took all his bandannas when I woke up and threw them out the next morning. He claims he just didn’t think about it and I should’ve said something. I didn’t think I needed to since this was his compromise. AITA? ###### | YTA - what on Earth is wrong with you? ###### |
I’m currently pregnant with twins, one boy one girl, and my fiancé and I are thinking of giving them kind of unconventional names.
I recently told my family some of our top options and they got mad, telling us we’re going to ruin our kids’ lives if we choose these names.
Anyways the names we chose all sort of play off each other. Names include Phoenix (girl) and Dragon (boy), Heaven (girl) and Earth (boy), Moon (girl) and Sun (boy), and Gold (girl) and Silver (boy).
We know these are kind of unconventional, unique type names but we both really like this idea so far especially since we’re having twins of opposite genders. My parents think we’re crazy and should reconsider. We are torn between standing our ground and possibly going down a different route. AWTA to consider these names for our twins? ###### | YTA - what kind of names are those??? Literally a middle schooler puts more effort into names for their fan fiction than you have with those names. And I agree with your family, names aren’t just something you personally refer to them as and it’s isolated, you essentially are branding them for their entire professional lives. I can assure you that if a hiring manager saw the name Dragon on a resume they’d throw it out. Kids are also ruthless they’ll tear those names apart and make fun of them and you for choosing such dumb names. In the end your kids will resent you.
This isn’t an advice thread but if you really want to stick with names that fit the themes, go for something more normal like Phoebe and Drake or Celeste and Terrance ###### |
I'm 38M and my sister is 35F
When my sister was 21 she got pregnant from a one night stand, baby didnt make it unfortunately which devastated my sister but with therapy she moved on.
She met her partner a year later, four years ago she had their first child.
We're currently living with my mother to stay close together.
We got onto the topic of children and while I don't want children (neither does my partner) apparently my sisters partner wants another one so that way their child has a sibling.
She changed subject quickly and we moved on to another subject.
We got speaking about it later and I asked her if she wanted another child, basically she said she didnt believe her son needed a sibling.
I said,, "*well, he technically already has a sibling doesn't he?*"
Apparently her partner overheard and they got into a huge argument because she hadnt told him.
She's upset with me for talking about it at all and for basically telling her husband
And her partner is upset with her, it's all a huge thing.
My mother thinks I should've never mentioned it and believes I'm out of order here.
I think her partner should've known anyway
AITA?
She had a stillbirth for everyone wondering. ###### | YTA - wether or not to talk about was her decision to make. You're an even bigger asshole for throwing the baby she lost in her face. ###### |
Ok so I asked her if she wanted to play a game with me sense we can't meetup in person and the only one that fit the criteria was dbx2.
We both start playing around the same time and I get past the tutorial and decide to wait for her to finish. I start doing random story and side missions while I wait, she sits there doing the tutorial. I ask if she needs help she says no so I keep doing missions. 2 hours later she is still on the tutorial, at this point she says I'll try again tommorow and I immediately say I cant believe you wasted time on that instead of just saying you did not want to play it. she says she does and I hang up now she's confused I'm annoyed and we've both gotten no where. ###### | YTA - way to make your girlfriend NEVER wanna play with you again ###### |
Hi guys, throwaway because I just made a reddit account for this. Also this happened a while ago but I'm thinking about it again.
I (24F) have been vegan for almost 5 years, and was vegetarian before that. My family is generally supportive but when I was in high school and still living at home I often cooked my own meals, or just ate the sides because my parents weren't super in to cooking vegetarian. In the past year or so my mom has really opened up to it and has been experimenting with vegan cooking as well which has been nice to talk about.
I went home for the holidays earlier this year with my fiance, who is also vegan. My older brothers (26 and 28) still live at home with my parents. My fiance is also a professional chef (I'm an okay cook but usually follow his lead), and we offered to cook a nice dinner for the whole family. My middle brother is a picky eater, but we made foods that are generally pretty well liked by the whole family. We made fresh homemade pasta and rolls, my fiance made a delicious sauce with lots of veggies, and a big salad. We served the food and everyone agreed that it looked and smelled delicious.
Then my brother goes to the fridge and gets a big block of cheese and starts grating it over his pasta. I asked him if he would please stop, we were trying to make a vegan meal everyone could enjoy, and purposefully hadn't put in any foods he didn't like. He said he doesn't like to eat pasta without cheese (???) I said that since we had put in a lot of effort into cooking and it was disrespectful when we had intentionally made the food to be vegan, in an attempt to show how good vegan cooking could be. He got huffy and said I was being too controlling. My parents remained neutral and didn't take either side. The mood of dinner was off to a bad start and remained uncomfortable.
AITA for asking my brother to not add cheese to a vegan dish my fiance and I prepared? ###### | YTA - Vegan here and I do think you were being controlling. Adding cheese to his own portion is like putting hot sauce or olive oil - a matter of personal taste. Does it suck when people aren't more willing to try vegan food? Sure. But you know they aren't, so you can't hold them up to that standard. ###### |
Throwaway
I have two boys one is age 8 and one is age 14. I have one girl who is age 12. Me and my son recently moved out from our apartment to our new house with my husband. The house has three bedrooms one for us and two for kids. I plan to give one full bedroom to a girl because I feel it's not a good idea to put girls and boys.
My son before we moved used to have a full bedroom so he is a little upset about that. Anyway it's a few weeks after we finished the arrangement and got the house in order. My son has been complain that he needs to have the room that my daughter got and I refused.
My son has been saying that it's been near impossible to sleep in the shared room cause his half brother is so noisy and that I read his half brother a book so that he can fall asleep. He complained about how his half brother messes with his things and distracts him from learning and studying his ap classes. I refused and told him he has to learn to live with what he got after he asked me why can't half brother move in with half sister. My son has stopped talking to me.
These are the only available sleep arrangements as the attic is filled to the brim with stuff and the 1 car garage is filled with equipment and a car. My son also has started bullying his half sister because of the sleeping arrangements now and refuses to listen or follow with me when I ground him'
edit - title should have been aita for giving my 12 your old daughter her own room but making my son share a room with his half brother. Sorry for the typo ###### | YTA - THEY AREN'T HALF-SIBLINGS. You lied about how they were related throughout the post! They are step-siblings, who barely know each other, and you didn't even TELL THEM BEFORE HAND how the rooming situation would be. AND you gave your sons's things to your step-son without asking! This is TERRIBLE parenting. I hope your son's father is in his life, so he can escape your narcissistic behavior. This is not okay. ###### |
This might sound bad, but I've always been the class clown, funny type of dude, usually, my son (M19) loves it, and he's more like a friend than a son (he's a great kid, honor roll, all that). The other day, he came to me and told me he had to tell me and his mom something super important.
Now, we had our suspicions, but he confirmed them when he told us that he was indeed, GAY. Neither I nor my wife have a problem with that, so when he told us, I laughed and yelled out, "HA! GAYYYYY" like that skit from who knows what show a few years ago.
​
He didn't take it as well as I expected and started crying before running off and slamming the door. My wife says ITA, but I thought it was hilarious. Reddit, what do you think? (I will apologize to him once he calms down). ###### | YTA - There are times and places for joking around, your son coming out is not one of them. So many kids struggle to come out to their parents, you made it sound to him like you're not taking it seriously, something that he thinks is a very serious topic and has probably spent a lot of time planning on doing. ###### |
I live in a house with a park nearby. I am pregnant, so I am considered high risk so we barely leave the house, and when we do we leave at non-peak times (either before 9am or after 7pm). I and my husband have a four-year-old, who is a very high energy kid, and my husband is teaching her how to cycle using stabilisers.
Me and my husband went out in the early morning today. She was cycling, and we followed her from about 5m behind. The path was really clear, so it would be easy to get to her. She went over a rock, and fell off the bike. We immediately ran towards her (well, i waddled quickly) Unbeknownst to us, behind the tree that she fell near, there were a mother and a daughter (about 10ish) who were doing yoga. The girl saw my daughter fall and automatically picked her up, before we got there, and held her.
I was scared and instinctively yelled 'Let go of my daughter, do you not know about social distancing! I'm pregnant, and if you had the virus and didn't know it, you could hurt me or my babies.' The kid cried, which was more than I was expecting, and the mother started screaming at me about being ungrateful for 'her angel' saving my daughter and negligent (ffs we were literally a couple of seconds away, but that girl was closer and had some really quick reflexes). I fired back telling her that I would appreciate the gesture if we weren't in a pandemic and that she should teach her kid about social distancing.
We went home immediately and my husband gave my daughter a bath. She was a bit scared from the fall, but cheered up quickly. My husband thought that I was a little strict towards the little girl as she was trying to be nice, but considering I'm high risk I was somewhat justified. AITA? ###### | YTA - The girl was 10. 10 year olds don't fully understand social distancing. You flipped out on her for caring about your hurt child.
>I'm pregnant, and if you had the virus and didn't know it, you could hurt me or my babies.
Seriously? You shouldn't go outside if you're going to act like this. ###### |
About a month ago a stray cat showed up on my doorstep. She had no identification or microchip. I took her in, fed her, named her Bertha, but I was also actively looking for her owners. I don't have the ability to permanently take care of another pet, but I wanted to do the right thing and make sure she had the best chance of having a good life.
Eventually I found the owner and returned the cat. I missed Bertha but was glad she was back with her owner.
Well Bertha has been back at my door every day since then, meowing for hours until I let her back in. I contacted the owner again and asked her to keep the cat inside. The owner responded that her husband died about a month ago, she's trying to take of her 3 kids during this lockdown, and that Bertha is an indoor outdoor cat. I understand that this must be a hard time for the owner, and I'm giving them slack for not knowing the cat was missing for a month, but at this point they're neglecting her to the point that she doesnt want to go back to them. She's also been reported at all my other neighbor's houses too.
AITA for coming to the conclusion that I have to send the cat to a shelter? I would never want to hurt her, but she's being neglected, and she could possibly be a transmitter of the coronavirus if shes bouncing from house to house all over our neighborhood. ###### | YTA - the fact that the cat is returning to your house after you fed it is absolutely not a sign that your neighbor is neglecting it. You can’t just STEAL someone’s cat (while they are grieving their husband/father...) and take it to the pound. That’s what this would be, taking someone else’s cat.
I have some qualms with allowing cats to be outdoor but I don’t know enough about where you live. They are dangerous to the bird population and live shorter lives outdoor. However that’s up to the owner, not me or you to decide, and doesn’t deserve being taken to the pound.
Not to mention, if the shelter is a kill shelter, you are getting either this cat or the cat it displaces killed. Plus, you have no idea if it was adopted, that it would be adopted by someone who takes better care of it. It’s just vindictive. All during a pandemic while someone grieves their husband. Real classy. ###### |
i want to preface this by saying my boyfriend is not very fond of pranks in the slightest. i have pranked him in the past and he’s never taken them well, so i’ve made sure not to make him the target of my pranks anymore because of this. i respect his wishes and don’t wanna ruin the relationship by pulling stupid pranks.
so my boyfriend and i share the same friend group. i decided to prank a guy in our friend group yesterday since it was april fools. i just sent him a message that [boyfriend] and i broke up. he didn’t open my message for a while so i got carried away doing something and missed two calls from him. my boyfriend messaged me asking if i pranked our friend and i said yes and my bf said he was just going with it and pretending that we had in fact broken up. i called the guy back not even 5 min after i missed his calls and told him it was just a prank and we were still together. he was just relieved it was a joke and we moved on, or at least he made it seem that way.
my boyfriend told me that my prank wasn’t nice and that i shouldn’t have done it. i didn’t prolong it, all i did was just shoot one text saying we broke up, i didn’t milk it and make it believable, so to me it was literally just a dumb and harmless prank. my boyfriend thought otherwise and revealed to me that our friend also thought what i did was messed up and it isn’t something i should’ve joked about. if i had put more effort into making it believable and kept it going for more than 10 minutes then i would agree with them that it is insensitive and that i took it too far, but that isn’t the case.
i genuinely don’t know if i was an asshole for pulling this seemingly innocent prank, so reddit: AITA for pranking a friend telling him my boyfriend and i broke up? ###### | YTA - that's not a prank.
Pranks leave the target laughing and saying "oh boy, you sure got me, what a good time". They entertain everyone.
This left your friend confused and worried, and annoyed your bf. Real fun. ###### |
So here's the situation - my wife is in a high level corporate position at her job. What she does is extremely stressful and I don't blame it for taking a toll on her. Recently though, she's been having a really rough time with work and is clearly stressed out about it. She's visibly upset much of the time, but she doesn't seem to want to discuss the specifics with me. She's even become forgetful and somewhat unuseful around the house recently - she seems to always be thinking about work.
She wouldn't talk to me directly about it and I knew I had to do something, so I found her boss's phone number and reached out. I simply told him that she has been listless and despondent recently, and that I worried about her performance at work as well as what it's done to our home life. Basically her boss corroborated everything I was saying, and it seemed clear he felt the same way about her behavior. After some time talking, we both came to the conclusion that a reassignment was necessary - not really a demotion, but the decision was made for her to be reassigned to a less high stakes, less stressful position. We didn't state it verbally, but I think we both had an understanding that this was in her best interest and our conversation wouldn't need to be brought up to her.
After the news came down to her she became hysterically upset - she thought she was being demoted essentially and she didn't understand why. The thing is it really isn't a demotion, there's no pay-cut involved, just an executive decision that was made for her own benefit. I'm really not comfortable telling her that I was involved with this because I suspect she'll freak out at me, but I do feel what I did was correct, and I believe her boss was reasonable enough to understand that also.
**TL;DR: Wife was reassigned at her job after I had a conversation with her boss, she feels she was demoted but that's not really the case.** ###### | YTA - That's a serious boundary violation. You should have talked directly to your wife about this.
Even if she doesn't want to talk to you, that's her choice, not yours. Clearly her career is important to her, and you essentially helped take some of that away without her choice or involvement. Even if it's not a demotion, you had no right to interfere.
If her work and stress is causing problems at home, that's a marital issue. If she won't address it with you, you either need to push her on it or get help with the marriage one way or another. Going to her boss is just...very, very wrong. ###### |
My girlfriend [24F] and I [27M] have been dating for 5 years now. I don't have any social media - no facebook, instagram, twitter, snap etc. I am a private guy and like keeping my personal life to myself.
My girlfriend on the other hand, is obsessed with instagram. She has over 800 photos posted on instagram and is constantly scrolling through instagram every waking moment she's not working or sleeping. She would rather spend time attention-seeking from her 5000+ followers than spend some quality time with me.
I confronted her a few times about this in the last few years, and she always tells me she'll cut down on her instagram usage but she never did.
Last week she was using my laptop because her laptop was at the store and noticed she forgot to logout from her email. I did the forgot password thing and reset her password to log in. I googled "how to delete instagram" and followed the link and deleted the account.
She woke up the next morning and started screaming and crying about how I permanently "deleted" her instagram instead of "deactivating" it and that I betrayed her trust etc.
Now she won't talk to me because she says she can't recover instagram and her profile of 10 years is lost forever. I think she's being incredibly childish and throwing a tantrum over some random app.
Am I the asshole? ###### | YTA - that was her account. Additionally those picture were her memories that you had essentially erased. ###### |
It made me feel like he doesn’t trust me. We live together and spend most days together and he knows all there is to know about me. I understand that people come from things they don’t like talking about; I was abused for several years of my life (which we’ve discussed in detail). But, it seems like he doesn’t care to share and connect on the same level as I have done.
*****
It’s a quarter shaped scar on the top of his wrist and he’s a rather hairy man so I just saw it today whilst holding his hand in mine and kissing it. It looked like a rough scar and I had just asked out of curiosity what happened. His response was “I don’t want to talk about it.”
I prodded a bit asking if it was something sexual since he has been rather promiscuous in his past, to which he replied “No.” and again stating he didn’t want to talk about it. I haven’t continued asking but told him how I felt on the matter. His response was that of silence initially and then later he came to tell me he loved me.
I feel like I may be in the wrong here for feeling as if he doesn’t trust me with the details of his past. But keep in mind that this is a man that talks about marrying me and our future children and seems wholly committed to all that we are. Am I wrong to believe that if you are into a relationship for the long run that your past doesn’t have to stay hidden? I’m afraid he somehow has negative beliefs about what my my reaction will be to what happened though I try to make him feel safe and comfortable in who he is. Am I failing somehow?
He’s a very loving man that cares for me greatly. I just feel shut out of his life and untrusted at this point. ###### | YTA - sometimes things are so traumatic that people just don't talk about it. It could be something like that. He (or anyone really) doesn't need to tell you every last detail about themselves. It doesn't mean they don't trust you, it just means they don't wish to share it with anyone. Don't push him to tell you. Drop it. And if he wants to tell you, he will in his own time. ###### |
My BF recently lost his dog of 17.5 years. He’s been in mourning and having a horrible time getting over it, so last week I got him a puppy to surprise him.
Well he wasn’t mean but he did tell me off.
He told me dogs shouldn’t be surprises and if I had told him he would have wanted to be apart of the selection process because its the funnest part
He also said he was really looking forward to being able to pick his own puppy when he was over the loss. He also said he doesn’t see himself bonding to this puppy because he dislikes the breed (pug) because “Pugs are extremely unethical ugly and poorly bred animals” and he prefers dogs that can go for hikes and bike rides with him
I told him that he’s just having a hard time adjusting and over time he’ll come to love the puppy. He wants me to give the puppy back to the breeder or keep it for myself as he just really doesn’t want it. I think that’s so hurtful to the puppy who did nothing wrong and I feel like if he tried he’d really love him (the puppy)
AITA? ###### | YTA - so you got him a breed of dog you knew he didn't like..? Doesn't add up. It sounds like you got yourself a dog..
I get the intention and thought process behind what you did I really do, you were trying to be kind. But you have to accept that what you want to do isn't always what someone else wants to happen. There were plenty of ways to approach this by subtly asking or moving the conversation about going to see puppies or rescue centres, maybe even talk about the breeds he would want in his next dog etc. This would have let you gauge where he stood with it.
Usually I'd just say nab but then here's the real issue:
PETS ARENT GIFTS. You should NEVER give someone a LIVING creature to make them feel better EVER. They're not an accessory to your joy.
So that's the AH bit I'm afraid. ###### |
My (30F) husband (35M) and I have been married for two years. He has this group of five friends that he has been friends with since his freshman year of college. They are all very close, they have a group chat where they talk to each other almost daily. There are two women in this group, and one of them is my husbands first girlfriend. They dated for two years.
I am uncomfortable with them speaking to each other, but this friend group is a major support system for my husband. He was pretty clear that he wasn’t going to give up the relationships.
Yesterday was ex-girlfriends birthday. She had a very difficult year dealing with some health issues, and they were all ready to celebrate with her over Zoom. We even got a little dressed up for it. They popped champagne. They each wanted to go around and say something nice or share a memory.
My husband started his off by saying how beautiful she was, and complementing her musical talent (I don’t have rhythm to save my life). When he finished I muted him and asked him to complement me as well. He ignored me and turned up his mic to keep talking to his friends. I asked him again, this time so that his friends heard.
He got embarrassed and told me to leave. I stood firm and told him he was being disrespectful. Then his friends started piping in about me ruining their fake party and calling me names. I told him to correct them, and he instead joined them in telling me to leave.
As I walked off, they started venting about me, so I unplugged the router. I took the router and cables to my girlfriends house where I currently am. I’m feeling horrible. My husband has been calling me and we get into screaming matches whenever I answer the phone. I’ve gotten texts from a couple of his friends calling me names. Although my friend assures me I’m in the right, I’m feeling guilt, and I’ve never seen my husband so angry. AITA for unplugging the router? ###### | YTA - so much so, I almost don't believe this happened.
>They each wanted to go around and say something nice or share a memory.
>My husband started his off by saying how beautiful she was, and complementing her musical talent (I don’t have rhythm to save my life). When he finished I muted him and asked him to complement me as well.
>He ignored me and turned up his mic to keep talking to his friends. I asked him again, this time so that his friends heard.
Your husband and his friends are toasting the birthday girl and you're so insecure you have to demand your husband compliment you as well? In the middle of his toast to someone else? Good god girl, get a grip. How painfully embarrassing that must have been, it's making me cringe just reading about it. ###### |
So a year ago my daughter got invited to go to Washington DC from a program called envision. When she got the invitation in the mail she was so excited but when she saw the price tag she decided it’s best for her not to go because it was something around 2.5k but I figure that hey she’s moving out in a few years this might be the only trip she can take for a while so I told her me and her father would pay for it if she gets the money for her plane ticket and when she comes back she would do more chores and she was fine with it and excited. She picks up more shifts at work and get enough money to buy her plane ticket (about 346$) and we pay in installments (500$ every month) so after the trip (a few months after) we get a message that our final payment have not made it through and it was around 500$ but we didn’t have the money to make this and we asked our daughter to pay it because we could not afford it and she completely blew up on us! She said that she was saving up for a new computer upgrade and money for when she moves out and she refuses to pay it. I told her it would be for the good of the family if she just payed it but she refuses too. I’ve now been sending her the emails we are getting from the debt collection agency and she is furious that we have not payed it yet. AITA for making her pay the 500$? ###### | YTA - She was ready to pass on it because of the price. You made a promise (apparently one you couldn't keep). Now you are asking a 17 year old to pay off your debt? ###### |
Just the other day, I was looking at some fashion magazine which I helped produce. My gf walked into my room (we're sheltering-in-place together), struck a pose, and asked how she would fare if she was a model.
Since I work in the young n' steamy n' hot/sexy sector of the modeling industry (lots of skimpy clothing, bikinis, shirtless buff men, etc), I told her she'd never make it anywhere in my expertise cause she's not conventionally beautiful, but that's what I love about her (especially her flat chest and small height).
Then I added on that IDK about other areas of the modeling industry, and she'd probably be accepted somewhere out there since it's a big industry.
Now she's passively-aggressively mad/dejected at me and glares daggers. She also burnt my dinner, while I noticed her dinner was cooked golden. Obviously I screwed up, but even then,
AITA? ###### | YTA - she was asking you to tell her she’s sexy, not looking for a serious critique of her ability to make it as a model. And you couldn’t stop at telling her no, you had to top it with also telling her she’s not pretty. Saying you like it that she’s not pretty doesn’t make you any less of a massive asshole. I’d be surprised if you got a single unburnt meal from her for a few days. ###### |
My friend \[17f\] has a somewhat popular instagram account-- think 10-20k followers. She posts a lot of photography/artsy stuff with a few pics of her in cute outfits. Our high school is in her bio (like how people put the acronym of their school and their graduating year) and her photos are all tagged with location, so it's pretty easy to see where she lives.
Anyhow, she received a DM from a guy who lives in our city-- in fact, I know him since we play on the same club soccer team, but I digress. She showed me the DM, and it wasn't rude or lewd or creepy or something. It was just 'hey, my name is \_\_\_\_\_\_\_, and I think you're pretty cute. Since we're from the same place, would you like to hang out sometime?'. Pretty chill and non-threatening imo.
She isn't really looking for a relationship right now, which is understandable, so she didn't want to. She left his DM on read without responding, which I kind of felt was rude. As a guy who has asked girls out before, I know how hard it is to work up the courage to go up to a girl and say what you're feeling-- even over DM. Getting rejected sucks, ofc, but even a simple let-down isn't as soul-crushing as just being left of read.
She doesn't have an obligation to answer him, but I think it would be nice to, since just leaving him on read would probably do a number on his confidence. So I told her she might want to just send a simple 'sorry, I'm not looking for a relationship right now' type DM back if she wanted to be nice.
This pissed her off, and she went on and on about how she doesn't *have* to. Again, I'm not saying she has to, I just think it's kinda rude to leave him on read. Typing up a simple 'I'm not interested' message wouldn't take long.
AITA for suggesting this? ###### | YTA - she owes no one a response, especially not (what I assume to be) an adult male that she does not know sliding into her DMs, and it’s not your place nor your business to comment on it.
Edit: additionally, I’m assuming you’re not a female. Many of these people who slide into strangers’ DMs are persistent and obnoxious. Saying you’re not interested as a female doesn’t always have nice and cheery endings. It’s not rude. ###### |
My (28M) girlfriend (25F) was into competitive ballroom dancing pre-covid. If you're familiar with competitive ballroom dancing, it's not just graceful waltzing around a ballroom. It's a lot of lifts, lots of close proximity, hands pressed against the body quite intentionally, and perceived chemistry counts for a lot.
My girlfriend invited me to one of her performances in November 2019. Her dance partner is more attractive than me in every way. He's at least 4 inches taller than me and in great shape. I didn't think I'd be so bothered by their performance, but I really, really was. My girlfriend was wearing this thin, white dress that left little to the imagination and her partner had a skintight black bodysuit on. There was a "moment" at the end where they were both leaning in, he was holding her waist, etc. and the audience was applauding. It just seems incredibly sensual to me. When I spoke to him after he seemed very casual with how he touched my girlfriend - a hand on her shoulder when he was making a joke, etc.
I confronted my girlfriend about it recently and she says it's just part of the act and that I have nothing to worry about because she loves me. I consulted with a few of my friends and they said they would be freaking out over it also. I've been reading about ballroom dancing and a lot of people believe dancing, especially ballroom, is more intimate than sex.
AITA for wanting her to quit? ###### | YTA - She has worked for a long time to be a good dancer. If you ask her to choose, she'll probably pick her dancing. If she wanted to date her dance partner, she'd be dating him. The fact that she isn't, means she's not interested in him, but rather, she's interested in you. Get over yourself and your jealousy. Let her continue her passions. ###### |
ok so im 16 and my stepdad has been with my mom for like 5 years now. he told me he was married before and had a daughter who's in her twenties now but idk what happened, i just know he doesn't really talk to her. he told me his first wife was a massive bitch and that's why he left but also said he used to drink a lot more too so idk. anyway he told me his daughter's name once and it's pretty uncommon so i found her on facebook. she looks exactly like my stepdad too so like i knew she was the right girl. I just told her who i was and asked why she and my stepdad don't really talk and said she might want to give him a chance cuz he doesn't drink anymore and is a cool guy now. she took like 3 days to respond but all she said was (im gonna copy paste it)
"I know you're a kid and this isn't your problem, and I know you have a very different relationship with your stepdad than i do, but the things that he did and said to me when i was a child have made it impossible for us to have a relationship. i'm glad to hear that he's sober but it's not enough for me to want to have him in my life. thanks for reaching out but please do not contact me again"
I messaged back that she didn't need to be bitchy and she blocked me. I told my stepdad and he got really angry and started throwing shit, he started ranting about her and his ex-wife and about how they never respected him and then told me i was a shithead for bringing this back up because he was "over it" until i did this. it was freaky because I'd never seen him like that before. i was just trying to find out what happened between him and my stepsister, am i really the asshole? ###### | YTA - she didn’t say anything bitchy to you. she didn’t want to have contact with him and you flipped out and didn’t respect that, that’s why you got blocked. When divorces happen she could have been caught in the middle and you didn’t respect her or your stepdad by bringing it up. ###### |
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