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I (26M) live with my girlfriend (26F) of two years in Paris. She’s French, and I am American.
My job is 100% in English. I can say a couple very basic French phrases, but that’s it. Nothing more.
My girlfriend is totally fluent in English as she attended college in the UK, so there is no communication barrier there whatsoever.
Recently, she’s been asking me to take French classes because the language is “important to her.” I respect that, but I don’t want to because 1) I work like 70 hours a week, so I hardly have time and 2) even if I did have the time, I just don’t want to. I am bad at language learning.
AITA ###### | YTA
You're in a different country, so learn more of the language.
Also. You are in France, have a French girlfriend--and yet expect her to use the language you want? I'm not saying to become fluent, but put in a little more effort for respect for the country you're living in and your girlfriend. ###### |
My (30) girlfriend (23) is having trouble sleeping lately. She has nightmares every night in a row for a week now and we don't know where they come from or how to get rid of them. She stayed over at my place yesterday and she moved and sweat a lot in her sleep wich made me to also wake up a lot and have a bad night.
She has been a bit on edge lately and not as calm and collected as I would like her to (and am used to). She told me it's because she's not getting enough sleep for over a week now and offered to not sleep at my place until it gets better (wich I don't want to because I like spending time with her).
Here is where it got critical: I told her, her blaming her bitch behaviour on not getting enough sleep is the same as a criminal getting drunk and doing bad things and blaming it on the alcohol. Alcohol is no excuse, neither is no sleep. And while her behaviour is not that bad, I don't want her to make excuses for her actions.
She simply raised her eyebrows, got ready for work and left without a word. She hasn't spoken to me since.
I didn't mean to harm her with what I said. I'm simply worried she will treat others badly because she's exhausted from her nightmares and get in trouble.
AITA for using this metaphor?
Tl;dr: I compared my gf being bitch and blaming it on not getting enough sleep to criminals using alcohol as an excuse for their actions and now she won't talk to me anymore. ###### | YTA
You're an asshole because you've made her problems all about you "whaaaa....her nightmares are keeping *me* up too!"
You're an asshole for ignoring her perfectly reasonable suggestion that maybe she shouldn't spend the night at your house right now. It's not about you wanting to spend time with her. It's about her not being able to sleep. Again, it's not about you.
You're an asshole because you're ignoring the fact that all of a sudden your girlfriend is having nightmares, and that there might be a *reason* for that. Has it occurred to you to be concerned that she's having bad dreams every night out of what seems to be nowhere?
You're an asshole for comparing her involuntary sleep deprivation and Nightmares to the choices criminal alcoholics make.
You're an asshole for not understanding or caring how extremely important sleep is and what the long-term effects of deprivation can look like.
Basically....you're just an asshole. ###### |
Ever since we got married my wife has been insistent that we eat dinner together every single night. The clock strikes 7 and she is forcing me to do the same routine every day. We've been married for a year now and it's getting to the point where I dream the hour but I love her so I do it with a smile.
I am extremely invested in my Blender (3D rendering) hobby and I begin working at 5PM as soon as I'm off work. By 7PM I am in a perfect flow state, lately I've been making a ton of progress on a model I've been working on for months now. Last week I was working on it and 7PM came. I kind of went off on her about how I was sick of doing the same routine every day and that she is incredibly unsupportive of my hobbies. It seems like she finally got the message, and for a week now I've been able to focus uninterrupted in the evenings and it has been wonderful if I'm being totally honest. But there's clearly still an elephant in the room and I don't know if I should make another big scene since it seems to be the only way to get the message across to her. At the same time she hasn't said anything either so I think she might be OK with the setup for the time being so I'm not sure which one of us has the upper hand in this situation. ###### | YTA
You were already spending at least 2 hours per day on your hobby, immediately after work no less. Accepting that is hardly "incredibly unsupportive". You say that you're only just getting into a groove at that 2-hour mark, so I imagine you're now spending hours more at your computer.
I don't think anyone would be happy with their spouse coming home from work and then immediately hopping onto their computer for hours and hours rather than even eating a meal with them. ###### |
My 14yo son goes to a private high school. Very pricey and the vast majority of the families are loaded with money. Money is no object to them. My son happens to get a partial scholarship so I can afford his education.
A lot of the kids at his high school do a semester of studying aboard. Usually in Australia and Switzerland. My son's friends are going to do that in spring (yes, you can do this with the pandemic). My son begged me to let him go and I was open to it.
Until I saw the cost.
Over $10,000 to go to a Swiss high school for four months. I clearly do not have that kind of money. I don't want my son to feel ashamed about my not having the kind of money his friends' families do and I feel incredibly guilty about it. I don't want him to feel ashamed.
I told him to forget about it because he would get bored, it's too cold, his mother would have to sign off for legal reasons and I can't find her, etc. Anything but money.
I don't discuss my finances with my son. It's none of his business and that's why I don't tell him the truth. ###### | YTA
You think your son doesn’t already know he gets less goods than his classmates? The best case scenario is he knows you’re ashamed of being middle class, so he’s learning that being middle class is a shameful thing, and he should be ashamed of growing up middle class, and poor people are just completely contemptible. The worst case scenario is he thinks you don’t love him as much as his classmates. You should really discuss so he doesn’t grow up with a horrible attitude one way or the other. ###### |
Hear me out pls!!
My (20M) girlfriend (20F) had started a facebook page about a year ago. She posts her own memes, random texts and art on it. It was initially not a problem and I was proud of her, even supported her by liking, commenting and sharing her posts to my page that was bigger at the time.
Recently her page gained a lot of attention and eventually surpassed my page's following. She started posting a lot more and she has been interacting with her audience 24/7. Since then she has stopped paying attention to me and will always be on her phone, replying to me with one or two words like "haha nice" or "okay". We still go on dates (weekly) that she usually plans, but she will still take up her phone every 1.5h or so.
Last weekend she brought cookies for me & my family and she planned on staying the entire weekend. During this weekend she kept picking up her phone and going to her page. At one point she went to talk to my parents and left her phone in my room and I saw the opportunity. I went to her FB and deleted the page & her profile so she can't recover the page.
She was PISSED when she noticed what i had done. I tried explaining that I was freeing her from social media obsession, but she didn't understand. She took her stuff and went home and hasn't talked to me since then, which is making me think i might have fcked up.
So, reddit....AITA?? ###### | YTA
You sound controlling. Prepare to get dumped. ###### |
I (27f) am an anxiety ridden hypochondriac married to an alcoholic (27m). He has almost entirely stopped drinking about 6 months ago because he started to get jaundice. I begged him to get his blood tested, which was a massive blow out, and he finally did about 1 month ago. The tests showed his liver was "irritated," but was not as bad as the doctor expected based on his symptoms and could certainly be healed.
This weekend he helped someone move for two days. It really took a toll on him (hes a big guy and always does the heaviest lifting), with a huge bruise covering the back of his leg, swollen ankles and bad jaundice. He also got very bloated, which I expect is ascites (fluid build up in the abdomen due to cirrhosis). His bruise is getting lighter but is still expanding, the jaundice comes and goes along with the bloating in his tummy.
I've been in an absolute panic attack, fight or flight mode since Sunday night. I'm losing mind. After extensive WebMD style research, I begged him to humor my crazy ass and go into the ER instead of waiting for another doctor appointment. 30 minutes after I make a disgusting soap opera mess of myself, he finally agrees to go to the ER after work but he's very upset.
He said I'm making it worse by stressing him out, I need to get a grip on myself and he's worried about my mental state, and that I'm being controlling. I want to care about not projecting my anxiety onto him but right now all I can think of is what if I'm right? I'd much rather him be angry at me for being a total kook than him be happy with me but actually in danger. I also don't want to make things worse, like he said.
I don't know if I did the right thing, I'm just terrified and desperate. Am I the asshole? Do I just need to calm the fuck down and be a mature adult? ###### | YTA
You should absolutely encourage him to go to the ER if you have concerns but you also need to calm the fuck down.
He might be worried about it as well but you are taking up all the "space" in the relationship for medical worry. He can't ever express his worry to you because of your reactions and mental health. ###### |
For some context I (M30) have been staying with my girlfriend (F27) for about 6 years now. and in that time we built up a type of lifestyle where we pretty much do anything we want buy anything we want or go anywhere. So you could say it was somewhat of a lavish lifestyle. But when the coronavirus hit everything went to shit in the economy and I decided to rather leave my current work and start my own business.
she said it doesn't make sense and started to panic and I told her don't worry I have hundred thousand in my bank account and it should keep us going for 2 years without us having to compromise on our lifestyle.
she got so pissed because I never told her about the money I was saving and felt betrayed that I couldn't be honest with my finances. She said that if I had to leave her she would have been left with nothing and I would have been in a very stable situation without being affected by the current economic condition.
I just wanted to know am I the asshole for not telling her about my savings and keeping some of my financials to myself. I know that we stayed together for such a long time, but it's still the doom prepper in me to make sure that I have enough saved if anything bad happens.
Maybe I should have just kept quiet. ###### | YTA
You say in a comment that you lied about your income.
> I had a better income, but I lied about how much it actually was.
This makes you a huge asshole.
You share expenses with this woman. Decisions about what each person contributes to your shared budget need to be made jointly with full information.
You’ve been intentionally manipulating her. ###### |
First of all, my girlfriend isn’t mad. She thinks this whole thing is hilarious.
Anyway I was hanging out with my GF and her grandfather and some friends. He is like a sommelier or something and has been for decades at top restaurants. He’d had some bacardi, so i thought I’d play a prank on him.
I rant to a gas station and bought a bottle of Korbel ($15) and gave him a glass, telling him it was Dom Perignon($150), and that I wanted him to guess the year it was from.
He actually fell for it, and acted like he was some genius. I then gave him another glass telling him this second one was Korbel (he was drunk at this point) and he shat on it and said how crappy Korbel is.
When I told him they were the same, he got really angry later that night yelled at me for “humiliating him” in front of all my (age 19-22) friends.
AITA? ###### | YTA
you purposefully embarrassed him for no reason other than that out of spite. it’s as simple as that ###### |
So my sister is pregnant and today she texted us (my other siblings and parents) that she and her husband will be having a gender reveal party in a couple of weeks. I’ll be honest I’ve always disliked the idea of a gender reveal party. It is pointless and IMO lame. I’m gonna love the kid whether it’s a boy or girl so having some extravagant party telling me the gender is just dumb.
Anyways ignored the texts while everyone else replied and said they were gonna go and a couple of hours later my sister texts again saying my name with a question mark.
I’ve been day drinking and for whatever reason her saying my name like that kind of upset me because she knows my feelings on these types of parties. I said she could just text me the gender of her baby and I promise I won’t ruin the surprise for everyone else. She said I was being a jerk then I said “look I think those types of parties are a waste of money and the people who host them are inherently dumb and narcissistic. And you’re always in debt so you don’t need to be throwing money around that you don’t have.”
Over the next hour I got calls and text from the rest of my family. Asking me what my problem was and why I can’t just be a happy person. Was I the asshole here? My sister doesn’t have a lot of money and put me on the spot. ###### | YTA
You might not agree with such parties (god knows I think they're ridiculous - and it turns out a fire hazard) but you didn't have to be an asshole about it.
Side note: any time you feel the need to preface a story with "I've been day drinking", it probably isn't a sign that you are going to be a lovable protagonist. ###### |
So my fiancé (m29) and I (f25) went grocery shopping last night for essentials. We were buying a lot so the bill came to around 200 dollars. We went to check out and told the cashier to split it between our cards. She said okay and the next thing I know, 100 cash appears under the total with 100 left. My fiancé paid and moved out of the way for my turn, but I'm still staring at the screen as the receipt starts printing.
The cashier looked confused then looked at the screen and at the receipt. "Ah my mistake! You owe your boo 100 girl."
My fiancé looked confused. "You charged it all to my card?"
"Yeah yeah see! I accidentally put it in as 100 cash so it charged everything to your card."
He looked even more confused. My several years of retail knew what she was saying was completely wrong. "So... you're saying we're good."
"Yeah yeah you're good! You're good! Just give your boo extra loving tonight." She handed him the receipt.
"Are you sure?" I repeated. "Yeah, yeah see? It says 100 cash so it's like you gave me cash but it charged it all to his card."
I just nodded and told my fiancé let's go. He kept looking confused. As we got out, I shrugged and said "Well she might be getting fired." I explained to him her mistake and he looked at me in horror. "We should go back!"
"Why? She kept saying we were good. I asked her multiple times. We're good."
He looked uneasy about it but kept walking to our car. We confirmed later only 100 was charged. I told my coworker about it this morning and she had that same uneasy look he had yesterday. She said she didn't know what she would do in the situation but looked put off. So now I'm starting to feel a little guilty. AITA? ###### | YTA
You knowingly stole 100 worth of groceries and someone else will be blamed for it.
Your boyfriend and your coworker have just learned something about your character and it's not nice. ###### |
Hi y’all. I am married and we have two kids (6, 4) and I’m a SAHM. I have been a super mom for friggin years and the light at the end of the tunnel has always been side gigs and travel. Welp, travels curtailed cause covid so I’m stacking up side gigs. I have a booth at a local antiques mall and Im constantly on the lookout for stuff to pile in there and it is selling well. I also have an airbnb that I clean and manage and it has been slammed. Ive made about $40K this year hustling and my husband works super hard. He works for a union doing outdoor labor and makes like between $200-300K/year. He wants me to use the income I’m earning to pay b our mortgage for a couple months and take the pressure off him so he can take time off. AITA for keeping my income in a second bank account that is earmarked for travel (all together, as a family) when it become possible again? ###### | YTA
You have the attitude of "What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine". It's great you are able to get some side money but sometimes people who work really hard break mentally if they don't get a break. Your being unreasonable and making it clear you don't work as a unit. ###### |
I (18M) was in a pub in Paris France last weekend, and was having a good conversation with a girl I'd just met.
The bartender came around and said that they'd be closing in 10 minutes, but I didn't want to leave, so I thought to myself that if I ordered two pints for myself, he couldn't kick me out as I had still had drinks. So I order my beers, the bartender says You heard me say we're closing right ? I say yeah and he shrugs.
10 minutes later he comes and asks us to leave. I tell him I still have drinks, and he gives me a plastic cup.
I tell him no way, I'm a paying customer, I want to finish my drinks. He says in broken english "Either you take your beer to take away or I throw it away but in any case you're leaving."
I told him no way I am a customer and I will stay and finish my drink.
He then fucking knocked the glass out of my hand and fucking put his face super close to mine and told me in a super threatening way to leave. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of the girl so I did, but I left a very bad review on google. My roomate who is a bartender says I was a dick, but the way I see it he served me and therefore has to wait for me to be ready to leave I am a paying customer. ###### | YTA
You had fair warning they were closing. He even offered you a plastic cup. Don’t expect the staff to work late just because you want another beer. You are very entitled. ###### |
A while ago I took my family on vacation. We went to a casino, and I gave each of my children $50 to use before using their own money. My son lost all of it, but my daughter actually won a minor jackpot and walked away with a couple thousand dollars.
Last night, my wife showed me an Instagram picture of my daughter, who apparently now has a huge, ugly tattoo on her leg. I called my daughter to ask her how she managed to afford that, since rent in her city is high and she’s saving for grad school. She said she used the money she won at the casino.
I admit I was upset when she told me that, because I gave her the $50 she used to win. That’s my money, I just let her keep it. And she knows exactly how we feel about tattoos. We’ve told her multiple times that she’s not supposed to be getting any more tattoos. So finding out that she used MY money to get ANOTHER tattoo was upsetting for us to hear.
She was under the impression that offering to pay me back the original $50 makes it her money to be used however she wants. I told her no, it’s still my money, and since I don’t approve of what she’s spending it on I expect her to give me back however much her tattoo cost so I’m not the one paying for it. She hung up on me, and hasn’t answered any of the texts I’ve sent her since. She also hasn’t sent the money back.
I think I’m in the right, but when I told my brother what was going on he called me an asshole. So, am I really the asshole here? ###### | YTA
You gave her that money. Therefore; it isn't your money anymore, and you have no say in what an adult chooses to do with her body. It's nuts that you think gifts are retractable just because you don't like what a person does with it. ###### |
My brother started dating this new girl and I realized I recognized her from AA. I’m not an addict, but my lawyer recommended I attend some AA meetings to help strengthen my DUI case (and before you get on my ass for it, I made a mistake months back and got through it). I know it’s her because I remember her very unique name from the AA meeting and she also talked for a very long time.
I thought it was important to mention it to my brother is because I’m worried about her as a partner to him. In AA, she mentioned that not only did she use hard drugs, but also that she feels like she can’t control herself. She also admitted to drugs making her verbally aggressive and unstable emotionally, and at the time sue was not sober.
I know my brother, and I know that he holds himself and his partners to a high standard and that he hates drama in his relationship. I told him what she said and he broke up with her, and she basically stalked me and also called me an untrustworthy bitch who ruined her experience with AA. Honestly I think I was just trying to help my brother out, but some of my friends think it was messed up for me to tell him. But I think it’s better for him to know what kind of person she is ahead of time. AITA? ###### | YTA
You expect us to not hold a DUI over your head and you went and did EXACTLY that to somebody else? Nothing like holding somebody's past mistakes over their head when they're trying to get help. ###### |
Hey all,
My (F34) best friend's (F30) son just turned 8. I know him well and decided that he is old enough and responsible enough for his first gun. I got my first gun after all when I was 6.
So I took her son out for his birthday. I took him to an empty field where I go shooting; and gave him a gift. He unwrapped it and was excited to see that it was a brand new gun! I set it up and instructed him on how to shoot. He was livid!
When I dropped him home he ran excitedly to his parents. His Father was okay but his Mother was not pleased, saying that I had endangered her son. I explained to her that everything was safe but she did not want to hear it. I told her that she is being overly strict and denying her son enjoyment and learning of a key skill. She told me that I am being reckless and asked if I would give my 4 year old daughter a gun. I told her that I plan on doing so when she turns 6; and 8 by any reasonable measure is an excellent age to learn how to shoot, maybe even a little bit too late.
Her husband then took me aside and told me that he will try to calm his wife down and said he really appreciated the gift and lessons. He gave me the gun back and told me that he would try to secretly bring his son once in a while for shooting practice. ###### | YTA
You don't gift weapons to children without their parents' express prior approval. No guns, no knives, no shuriken, no nunchucks, nothing. ###### |
I (hopefully) will be getting married this October to my amazing fiancé. We’ve been together for 4 years, since we were 18.
Over the past few weeks, my friends and I have done a weekly zoom call to gossip and discuss details. I asked them all to send me their intended hair and makeup for the day, to which they all did and I thought it was a reasonable request. All of them went for very similar, apart from Madeline. Madeline is the only one of the group who has hair past her chest, and due to the style, she wouldn’t be able to do the same style as everyone else. I gently suggested that she cut her hair to be able to do the same style as everyone else.
She asked if i was being serious and I said yes, that I wasn’t planning on asking but that it seemed a simple thing to do. My friends were all pretty outraged over this minor thing and now Madeline is saying she doesn’t want to even be my bridesmaid. It’s only hair, it grows back! AITA? ###### | YTA
You do not ask people to change their appearance to be in your wedding. Being in the wedding party is about supporting the couple not being dolls for the couple to dress up. ###### |
A bit of context , my daughter is 14 years old with no disabilities whatsoever , however , she’s extremely terrible at her schoolwork and often get low grades. My wife and I always tried to help her but she just won’t listen to us. So today we were eating dinner and I asked her to put rice on the bowl. Now , I do all the housework in the house , I also made dinner and I have to go to work everyday , so I’m practically exhausted and very annoyed with everything. So when my daughter dropped the bowl ( it’s made of metal so it didn’t break ) , I shouted at her at cussed at her because she couldn’t do anything right in this house. She’s extremely lazy and all she does is play video games . She got really upset because I told her she’s basically useless which is the truth , and she just left the dining room and told us she didn’t want to eat anymore. I was furious because I spent so long making dinner and she’s being very ungrateful. My wife was upset too but somehow she’s angry at me? She told me I didn’t need to shout at my daughter but my anger was justified since I do everything in the house and she can’t even do one little thing right so I have the right to yell at her. I don’t understand why my wife is angry at me since she should be angry at my daughter for wasting food and making me angry, I’m sure that I’m not the asshole but I thought I’ll ask reddit anyway , AITA? ###### | YTA
You didn't just yell at her, you made her feel like shit, and in a teen's mind, you just told her that she will never be useful. She tried to help you, but instead you lose your shit? I get that you do the work, I do, but you don't just yell at your kid when they fuck up. And yeah! Your kid is going to play videogames all day because it is a fucking quarantine, she can't just go outside and play with friends! ###### |
So my friend has struggled with infertility for many years. I really feel for her and her efforts on becoming a mother. She told me that her and her husband in the process of adopting a baby. A girl a few cities over is eighteen and pregnant and has reached out to Facebook adoption groups in the area and they connected. The baby is due in December. She told me she’s excited to finally have her miracle baby.
I noticed on her Amazon registry that she had breast pumps and I asked her why. She said that she and her doctor put her on lactation inducing medication or something along those lines and she’s been pumping everyday three times a day and she’s been able to produce some milk. She’s hoping by the time the baby gets here she’s be able to produce enough milk to breastfeed.
I’ve never heard of breastfeeding adopted babies. I don’t know, the idea was just so foreign to me. I didn’t know medication could make you lactate. She went on to say it’s important for her to have that bonding time with the baby and she’s spoken to other adoptive moms that have done the same thing. I told her it’s a bit odd to me but I’m happy for her and she said I was making something natural weird. I said it’s not natural though and I didn’t meant to shame her and she called me an asshole and hung up. ###### | YTA
You didn't have to say anything about the thing that doesn't impact you one bit and on which you have no knowledge.
I'd never heard of this before your post, just Googled to see if it was real and my reaction is, "awww, that's awesome!" See how easy it is to not be judgemental and rude? ###### |
My girlfriend’s birthday was today, and earlier in the day I gave her the amount of her portion of the bills that are due by the end of the month. She asked if I could wait until she gets her first check from her new job so she still has some money because she said she didn’t have all of it, so I said that was fine, even though it’s almost 3 weeks away that she’ll get her first check.
Well after getting a few cards that were dropped off she had $400 dollars, and that would cover her portion of the bills with about $60 left over. I mentioned this to her and she said no, I said no I’m not waiting because now she has the money for the bills so there’s no point in waiting.
She got an attitude and said no, it’s her birthday money and that I’m going to make her birthday end terribly. I told her she’s acting like a child and that we have bills to pay. She kept saying that I said I’d let her give me the money by the end of the month, but I feel like she should give me the money now because she has it, she handed it to me but didn’t speak with me afterwards. Now she’s all mad and is literally packing a bag to go stay the night at her mom’s. AITA? ###### | YTA
You can't tell her the bills are due by the end of the month (9/30) and then turn around and say they are due today (9/6). That's unreasonable. ###### |
My wife and I had Drew young; she was 17 and I was 19.
We struggled a lot especially when Drew started to act oddly but for the most part my wife took it in stride as she had a brother who has autism.
Some of Drew’s quirks are;
He will only eat with certain cutlery, he has his plate and bowl etc.
He has his space at the table.
He has his own routine and all of which my wife allowed, she’d do exactly what he wanted and he absolutely adored her for it.
I went along with it for the sake of peace.
My wife passed last year from complications from childbirth and I’ve still fed into these little quirks my son has despite him being 10 now.
Despite being 10 he’s mentally around 5-6? We noticed he was stunted around 4 when he hadn’t started to talk.
It’s like I’ve snapped into action and stopped coddling him but he’s obviously struggling with this and every day there’s a new thing he’s throwing a tantrum about.
My wife’s parents think I’m being an asshole for not waiting longer as he’s just lost his mother and has a new sibling, two major life changes and that I know my wife wouldn’t be happy for my behaviour towards him.
AITA? ###### | YTA
You can't suddenly change a child's life so drastically...especially at a time when he is dealing with the loss of his mother and a new sibling. This goes for any child.
Add in that he may have additional sensory and/ or developmental needs.
You don't mention any medical, health or well being input...has drew been assessed and or diagnosed, if so what do his care team think about your sudden and drastic changes? How are they supporting you? ###### |
I took my son (8y.o) to the toy store today at the mall to reward him for doing well with his home schooling. While we were there I told him he could walk around the store and pick what he wanted. I pretty much just followed him around.
This store has no music and due to size you can pretty much hear all conversations.
As my son is wandering I can hear what sounds to be a girl (sounds like late teens trying to talk cutesy to sound younger ) in the next isle. What she says really confused my son and I was mortified.
"Daddy, daddy! Is so cute! I want it, Pwetty Pwease!"
To which I hear a full grown man respond back with, "Well, do you think you earned a new stuffed animal sweetie?"
The girl starts spouting off chores and I usher my son to cash out so we can leave ASAP. However they get to the register before us and I can see that it appears to be a gentleman probably mid forties , clean cut and my suspicions of it being a teen was correct as this girl is clearly either eighteen or just hitting eighteen and dressed in overalls and Hello Kitty shirts and shoes, babbling about how happy she is 'daddy' got to take her out for the afternoon.
My son is hyper focused on them and i felt that it was enough. I cleared my throat and said that I don't mind what people do in their bedrooms or private lives, but are they really acting out a daddy fetish in a toy store where real children go? I told them that my son doesn't need to see it and that she should talk and act her age. Not like a damn toddler.
The girl in front of me starts to cry and the cashier is staring at us and the man looks stunned for a moment before looking me dead in the eyes and said, "She is my adopted daughter and she has a plethora of health issues, so how about you mind your business and fuck off."
I told my husband about this and he agrees that I was just trying to protect our son. But now I'm not sure if I was being an asshole or not. ###### | YTA
You built a mental picture of a situation, called someone out on it, and ended up very very wrong. That makes you an asshole.
You could have either not called it out and explained it away to your son, or just waited elsewhere if it made you so uncomfortable. ###### |
Wondering if I'm the one acting like an asshole girlfriend here.
I asked my boyfriend a week ago if he'd be okay with me selling pictures of my feet, as I was considering it. He said he wasn't becauseof the risks. (He also said there wasn't really a market for it.):
I get a few messages from men online asking if I'd sell foot pics, and I got one today that I showed him and said "see? There is a market for it". He said he was okay with me selling foot pictures, but since he doesn't think I can keep the creeps away and that I'm not grounded enough, he's not okay with it.
This made me want to argue my case so instead of accepting his no, I kept pressing the matter and saying "feet aren't that sexual" "I know how to stay safe" "I'm 20 and I don't have a summer job I just want pocket money". This went on for some time, until he said that if I sell feet pictures it'll be without him in my life.
(For context I feel I have to note that it's true I used to have difficulty keeping boundaries with creeps in the past, I used to feel guilty saying no which negatively impacted my life.) I want his help to get better, and he's helping me with it.
I feel like TA because i kept pressing the matter and making him frustrated. But on the other hand, I hoped he would listen to my arguments a bit more. ###### | YTA
You asked him and, instead of respecting his opinion, you start to push your point on him?
Definitly you are the AH ###### |
I love my girlfriend Celia, but I wish she had never signed up for roller derby. WIBTA if I tell her that?
It all started over a year ago. Celia wanted to do some kind of sport because she wasn't happy with her health. And I thought she was going to sign up for the gym or sign up for a sports team through our college's phys ed program. Well, turns out roller derby is kind of a thing in our city and Celia signed up for a league. Okay, not what I had in mind but whatever makes her happy.
I've been fucking miserable since she signed up. It used to be we would get take out and chill on Fridays but instead she is blowing off our chill time to go to practice or to volunteer at a game. Instead of gaming or anime marathons with our friends, she is always out with these new girls she met in the league. Its worse than she doesn't want to do these things anymore, she blows them off.
She doesn't want to hang out with our friends anymore (okay, they're more like my friends but they like hanging out with her). Before lockdown, she wanted to take me running late at night or early in the morning and she didn't want to do date nights that were dinner and tv or playing League of Legends into the predawn hours of the morning. And since lockdown she's started to become more grossed out by me. Yeah, I gained weight but this new lifestyle she has shouldn't excuse her sudden distaste for me.
And even if things hadn't gone to hell, she didn't even want to go to Comic Con this year. We always went in the two years we were dating and the year before that. But this year, she wanted to go to some roller derby convention in Vegas instead. What happened to our tradition?
Well, we got into a fight earlier and she is staying with a friend. I'm not going to talk about it but you can guess what it was about.
WIBTA if I tell her that I hate that she's doing derby? I miss that quiet, nerdy bookish girl from when we first met. I don't recognize this person anymore. ###### | YTA
You are upset with her because she has a hobby she enjoys, while listing the hobbies YOU enjoy that you feel she is neglecting.
She made her own friends. She’s healthier and happier and being social. Be happy with her or break up with her. It’s okay to be at wildly different places in your life and needing to break up, it’s not okay to expect someone to regress into unhealthy habits because it would make you feel better. ###### |
So for whatever reason my 15y/o daughter has taken a real issue with saying “I love you” or hugs, I’ve spoken to her about it but she just kind of laughs it off.
I’ll say goodnight love you and she’ll say something like “Ha! Ok good for you” now I’d take that personal if she didn’t also say it to my husband and her siblings.
She also completely rejects hugs.
I was picking her up from her fathers when he said see you later, love you, her siblings said it back but all she said was “yeah ok”
I don’t get it.
He went in to hug her and she dodged.
I apologised and said she’s just going through an awkward teen phase and told her to hug him goodbye, she got all awkward and some relatives who were at her fathers (stepmother, grandmother, aunt and siblings) laughed at how awkward it was.
She stormed up to her room when we got home and called me a fucking bitch.
My husband thinks maybe I crossed a line and should apologise but I didn’t laugh? All I wanted her to do is hug her dad.
AITA? ###### | YTA
You are teaching her that her personal boundaries do not matter. She doesn't have to give hugs if she doenst want to. The real issue here isn't what she is doing, its why she is doing it. That is what you should be more concerned about. ###### |
My best friend, Mia, has cystic fibrosis. The average life expectancy for cystic fibrosis is about 37, but Mias doctors don’t think she’ll get to 30. When we were kids and her CF wasn’t something I was hyper aware of, we agreed that we’d be godparents to each others kids.
I recently gave birth to a baby girl, and obviously due to COVID we’ve had no visitors to meet her, but I FaceTimed Mia from the hospital. She started the call with “let me see my goddaughter then” and that’s when I remembered the agreement that we made. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Mia, she’s my best friend, but it seems a bit silly to allow her to be god mother when 1) she probably won’t be around by the time something could happen to go wrong for me and 2) her quality of life would in no way enable her to look after a child.
I waited until we were home before I said anything to Mia and when I asked her if she was okay with it she said she was, but I got a text from her mom later that night asking how I can claim to be her best friend when I treat her like that. A few of our friends have also said I’m an asshole for taking something away from Mia that she’s been looking forward to for so long. I called Mia and asked if she was upset and she said that she really was, and that it was another thing she couldn’t do because of her CF. I sympathise with her but I said I wasn’t going to change my mind. She’s really upset with me now, along with our friends and her parents. AITA? ###### | YTA
You are perfectly capable of making legal arrangements for your daughter’s care in the event of your death with someone other than her godparents - it happens all the time.
Neither mine or my sister’s godparents were in a good position to raise a child, so my parents made arrangements with people who were while honoring people in our lives (some of whom didn’t have long to live) as godparents.
Your friend has a difficult illness with a poor prognosis. People do beat their doctors’ estimates all the time, so you have no way of knowing when she’ll die. But knowing that this is one of the things she’s looked forward to in the last years of her life and how much it’s meant to her, you are being cruel to deny her this honor.
You say she’s your best friend. I’d hate to see how you treated any friend you valued even less than this. If I was her, I’d feel betrayed and be re-evaluating our friendship. What an awful thing to say to someone.
YTA ###### |
Throwaway account for obvious reasons
My friend, let's call her Ellie, is a trans woman (MtF). She came out to me about two months ago and I was very accepting of her, however she was struggling to pick a name.
Recently she messaged me over Discord telling me that she had decided on the name Ellie. Ellie is an extremely common name in my area and there are 2 other Ellie's in my class. I told her that it would be way too confusing if she changed her name to Ellie and she got mad at me, telling me that it's none of my business and that she likes the name.
I told my other friends in my server and they all took Ellie's side, except for one person who said it's stupid for her to expect us to get used to her name so soon and it would be confusing if there were other Ellies in our class too. It eventually resulted in a flame war between him and the rest of my server so I just tuned out.
So Reddit, am I the asshole? ###### | YTA
You are overreacting. Who cares about the other two Ellies in your class? You aren't going to be in school forever. Grow up. ###### |
Y'all... I can't even explain how terrible these things are. He's making them right now. I hear him in the kitchen, and I'm scared. When I hear the metal spatula hit my cast-iron skillet, I know what's coming, and it fills me with dread.
He makes breakfast burritos. When I make them, I do it the right way: Eggs, bell pepper, fried potatoes, sausage or bacon, and I wrap it up in a tortilla with cheese and salsa. Not him.... He first uses the metal spatula on cast iron, so he just scraps all the burning eggs sticking to the pan in with the rest of the eggs. He also uses WAY too much milk and butter with the eggs. Then he adds the salsa straight in with the eggs, which creates so much liquid that the egg can't absorb it, so it's just soup in a burrito. And then, THEN, the sick freak adds MUSHROOMS. 🤢
The thing is, he is so proud of these burritos. He's always like, "Turned out pretty good this time, didn't they?" But they never do! They... Never... Do. He's making them right now, and I'm hiding in the bathroom faking morning sickness.
So... AITA for not just sucking it up and eating them? ###### | YTA
You are letting him waste food.
Be at least a little honest. But be nice.
"Hunnie, I love how you love cooking for me, but the breakfast burrito recipe you use doesn't settle well after eating. Can we choose a different recipe together to try next because I don't want you to waste the food you are making for me?"
That's far better than faking being ill. ###### |
As basic as possible, nearly 3 years ago my daughter asked if I could help her with the deposit for the house she wanted to buy with her husband. It was expensive so I vocalized that I could only help if it were going to be a loan she'd have to pay back. She then opted not to buy that specific house and found another house which was suitable and could be covered by her husband's savings. That was that.
My son graduated from university last year and has been working ever since but recently he's been offered a higher position in another city. Coincidentally I actually own a house there (it was my best friend's old house which he gave to me) which I used to rent out but it's been gathering cobwebs since February. I told him about the problems with it and said he could have it though if he wanted and he took it. When I told my daughter about it she was unhappy and compared it to her wanting my help those years ago and I said no yet I'm giving my son the house cost free. The house was never bought by me though and was given (rather tossed) besides it being half way across the country. If my daughter got a job there, I would've also offered her the house free of charge. Aita? ###### | YTA
You are giving your son something that has a monetary value. Doesn't matter how you got.
Figure out how to treat both kids equally and stop making excuses. ###### |
Throwaway as my son browses Reddit
I have a son and daughter who are both in high school. Both the kids are in grade 9 we adopted my daughter. My son this year has done pretty well and scored one b. My daughter on the other hand struggled this year and got c and b.
So today during lunch my son wanted to tell me he got an a in his ap class. I knew this would upset my daughter and I told him he can't speak about his grades during lunch. He was angry. So after lunch I tried asking my son what he got in class he said why do you want to know, you did not want to know the first time why should I tell you the second time.
My husband told me that I should have let my son speak during the table because daughter was eventually going to here from her brother what grades he got. My husband also told me I have to stop protecting our daughter because eventually she is going to here people got better grades than our daughter. aita for not wanting my son to talk about his grades in front of his sister. ###### | YTA
You are doing a disservice to both kids here. First, you are teaching your son to hide his accomplishments just in case they make someone else feel bad. You should be teaching him to be proud of achieving results from his hard work.
Second, you are shielding your daughter from even very slight possible disappointment/envy. Forcing others to tiptoe around her feelings is how you create a child who is spoiled and self-centered. ###### |
I was sitting in my wife’s office when she started talking about her friend who was going through a lot, I was sitting and listening.
Some context, my wife has had a wild past and I told her I don’t enjoy stories including men or anything like that. I wouldn’t talk to her about my past like that with her.
So then she said “We’d go out all the time. She was basically my wingman…”
And I said “Ok I’m leaving” and got up and left back to my office, and she followed saying she didn’t mean it
I just ignored her and she walked away.
It’s almost like if I was talking about a friend of mine and said
“Yea I feel for the guy, it’s a shame…we’d party all the time, he was my wingman.”
I mean, why’d she have to mention that?
AITA? ###### | YTA
Wow how insecure do you have to be to not be able to handle that mild a statement sort of alluding to hooking up.
It would be fine if you said it too.
And to walk out and ignore her is super asshole behavior. You made it seem like she had done something wrong. Which she very much had not.
You are not mature enough to be in a relationship. ###### |
My husband and I (60s) had already made arrangements to keep our 10yr old granddaughter (Lauren-not her real name) for 2 weeks this summer. This isn't new. Her and our daughter, her mom (D), have lived with us off and on for financial reasons and the father isn't at all involved. We are very close with Lauren. And D lets us know she appreciates the bond we have with our granddaughter.
The issue is D has changed her mind about letting Lauren come visit us (in a different state where we live and they used to live) at all. She said after going to therapy she doesn't want to continue to sweep some things from her childhood under the rug anymore and wants us to own up to a lot of things. She said she deals with the negative impact of her childhood every day and has been working hard in therapy. She is very angry at me for fostering the negative relationship she and her siblings always had with their father (until they were 18 and older and he lightened up). I basically made him out to be a bit of a monster to keep them in line. He was home every single night and worked hard for us but I agree, was completely emotionally unavailable. He treated them more like maids than his actual children, even calling them "dishwashers" instead of their actual names sometimes. We ask Lauren to do chores sometimes but we really do treat her like a princess. The issue almost seems like we treat her too well! D said we shouldn't be rewarded with all this time with her daughter when we won't own up to a lot of things in her and her siblings childhood. I actually don't totally disagree with her but my husband is much more oblivious. I don't think we can own up to what she wants us to own up to. She mentioned WAY MORE than what I've told you here, but it hurts to admit it and I'm not sure of the word count I'm allowed here. I had a horrible relationship with my mother growing up but I got over it and now we have a great relationship! Is she the AH or are we? ###### | YTA
Why the hell would she ever trust you to be left alone with her child after what you did to her growing up? Actions have consequences. ###### |
My husband comes from a big family. His dad was married twice and has five children, and I'll admit it is kind of a tough group to break into but besides one sister, i love his family. Both of my children are very close to their cousins and we go a lot as a family. My son recently got engaged to his girlfriend of two years. We'll call her Jessica.
Like I said they family can be a little hard to break into. His father was a big outdoors man and had this kind of creepy cabin in the woods and the first time I stayed there his siblings convinced me it was haunted. I'm not even that gullible so they went to great lengths there, scared the shit out of me while I was in the shower, and I ran out half naked and crying. After that things got much better and I genuinely love them.
Jessica hasn't spend that much time around the family. My son goes to a lot of things without her, because she doesn't like big groups. Well we went camping recently with two of my husband's siblings and their children. I guess they wanted to initiate Jessica. Now after what was done to me this seems pretty mild, but they told her that my son was looking for her and that he seemed annoyed and he was in the clearing in the woods. When she went to look for him she got attacked with water guns/balloons.
Jessica was very upset and cried. I did try to be sympathetic, but it happens to everyone and I don't feel like she was being unfairly targeted. I tried to comfort her a little, but then I told her that she really needs to get thicker skin because my son loves his family. Well according to my son she thinks I'm an asshole. ###### | YTA
Why is it on the victim to toughen up instead of on the perpetrator to become a better person and be more considerate? ###### |
We rarely talk unless it has something to do with our kids. Lately our 12yo son has gotten "mouthy" at her and she asked me to talk to him. I found it ironic because she has always been a cold bitch to me lol.
I did talk to him. He's not anymore mouthy than any other 12yo. He said he didn't know she was mad because did not "look mad."
I told my ex "you can't blame him for not seeing how it upsets you with all that botox in your face."
She denied it, but I told her it was obvious and she couldn't move her face to grimace at our son. ###### | YTA
What's the big fucking deal? I get botox ,but that's not the issue here. The issue is how disrespectful you are to the mother of your child and I'm guessing you do not hold back words when you're around your kid. ###### |
Had to repost, exceed the limit
(M33) Just moved in with gf (27f) of 7months. Her mortgage is cheaper than my rent so seemed like a good idea.
She won’t let me have equal say in the house. She doesn’t want my furniture in the living room as her furniture is “better” and fits the rest of the house more. She was pretty snobby about my furniture because it’s from Ikea. I put her stuff on fbook market place to show her if we used my furniture and sold her we could go on a holiday or something.
Her dad wants her lawyer to make a contract so I can’t claim half her house if we break up. Which is rude. She agrees with him and got pissy when I said the house should be split 50:50. the deposit was inheritance money from her grand parents so it’s not even her money. She just got given it. Plus she’s only lived in the house for a year.
Her sister found my fbook post about the furniture so freaked out which made my gf freak out and she sent me to stay with my mum and won’t talk to me while she thinks things through. Her friends keep raging her in “white male apartment” memes which is petty and immature.
My mum has taken her side and I’m so frustrated that no one thinks I’m entitled to my fair share. I feel like gf is taking advantage of me. AITA for wanting what’s mine by rights?
TLDR gf won’t let me have my fair share of the house even though I’m going to pay half of the mortgage ###### | YTA
What fair share? It’s her house. Her inheritance is her money, it was given to her which makes it HERS. You posted her belongings for sale without her permission. Did you really think that was going to over well?
If she’s smart she will not only get a lawyer to make sure she doesn’t lose anything but she’ll also get a new boyfriend. ###### |
I have a 30 year old son who is married with two children. My wife is not allowed to babysit because she has Histrionic personality disorder. She has been diagnosed and she got therapy when the kids were younger. The way she has explained it to me is she cannot control her thought process, but she can learn how to act. She knows right from wrong but she does find it taxing to have to fake it all the time. I don't care, i love her for who she is.
Our DIL only knows about the personality disorder because my son told her and she acts like my wife is some sort of monster. She read up on the symptoms and said that she doesn't feel comfortable with my wife being alone with her children. Due to this we aren't interested in having much of a relationship with the kids, but we're nice when they are around.
My son recently lost his house and asked to move in. I said of course he can't move in, his mother is horrible and shouldn't be around the kids, remember? He told me that his wife was willing to swallow her pride and I said she should have done that 7 years ago. He told me they were homeless (really that means the four of them are sharing one room at her dad's) and I just laughed. My son thinks I'm a major asshole and I honestly didn't meant to laugh. ###### | YTA
Usually, HPDers end up dating ASPDers or NPDers.
It's clearly evident that this happened in this case. Your son is probably better off keeping his family far away from you both. ###### |
My DIL and my son just had a little boy a few weeks ago. When he was born my older grandchild called me and told me that the baby looked like her grandpa as they have the same nose.
My husband has stayed with my DIL and my son for a few months after I had surgery and had to stay in a nursing home for awhile since I had to recover. I’m home now and my husband is back home with me.
We went to see the baby and I mentioned to my son as to how much the baby looks like his father and he just smiled and said “he’s such a beautiful boy isn’t he?” I nodded and then my DIL came in and I said “he looks a lot like my husband” she says “genetics are weird aren’t they?” And then I say “very, since he looks nothing like you or my son but identical to my husband and he did stay here for a few months”
My son got angrier and asked if I was insinuating something and I told him it just seemed like an odd coincidence. He was so angry that he asked me to leave.
He isn’t speaking to me and my husband is also very upset with me and told me that I had little faith in him and that I need to apologize to him, my son and my DIL. I just find it odd he looks absolutely nothing like my son but identical to my husband. I have a right to be concerned and now they think I’m an AH. AITA for just questioning them about it? ###### | YTA
Unless you cheated on your husband, he is the father of your son. That means half of his DNA came from your husband. He can absolutely pass on features of his father that aren't apparent in his own appearance. ###### |
When my daughter came out as gay and asked me to walk her down the aisle, I told her I loved her but that I couldn't walk her down the aisle. My wife went to the wedding and my daughter stopped speaking to me.
A year ago, my wife died and my daughter said she wouldn't come to the funeral if I was there. I told her not to hold her feelings toward me against her mother. Her wife came, but she didn't.
The wife and I kept in touch and she recently contacted me to let me know that my daughter wanted to meet with me and make up. I said no. She said I was being unreasonable. I said that's fine and I hung up.
I've been getting mixed reactions. My daughter has been reaching out to different family members trying to get in contact with me. I asked my children specifically what they thought. It was split down the middle. Some were saying I should try to make up with her and the rest were saying I don't have to because she didn't show up for her mom's wedding.
So I called my daughter's wife, and she said, "Oh, thank goodness! Hold on, let me put your daughter on the phone."
I said, "No. I just wanted to call you to tell her that I don't ever want to speak to her again and to ask you her not to contact me again."
She called me an asshole and I heard my daughter crying in the background, but I hung up.
So AITA? I don't think I'll ever forgive her for not showing up to her mother's funeral. All because she was mad at me at the time. Her mother didn't do anything to her. ###### | YTA
troll or actually serious? youre using this funeral as a petty excuse to be homophobic and unaccepting of your daughter ###### |
I went on vacation for a week and setup an autoresponder, for colleagues only. The autoresponder mentioned when I was coming back and gave instructions for who to contact in case of emergency. Finally, the message also said something along these lines: *"If this is really important, I would recommend you send it again after $DATE, since inbox is a LIFO queue and it'll likely get lost in hundreds of other messages"* followed by a smiley face. I thought it was an honest way to remind colleagues that email inbox is a s\*show and messages are likely to get lost. Besides, I do this all the time: I don't want to give people excuses to miss my emails so I use Gmail scheduled send when colleagues are on vacation or even to optimize hitting their inbox top when they're commuting to/from work.
I have heard backchannel that someone thought this statement was not professional. I guess some people prefer to live in the fantasy that their emails get read when one comes back from holiday?
AITA? ###### | YTA
This sounds extremely snooty and unprofessional. Just take a day and go through your emails when you get back. I highly doubt you're getting thousands while you're away. ###### |
My SO and I are moving in together in a few months. We are going to find a new bigger apartment together.
He has a cat. I'm not an animal person at all. I'm afraid of cats, dogs, ferrets, hamsters, you name it. I'm the kind of person that cries when a dog comes near me. When I'm over at his place, he puts his cat in another room so I won't be scared. I told him he'll have to rehome his cat before we move in together.
He was understandably upset. He believed that he would be able to just keep the cat away from me...in our shared apartment. He suggested maybe getting a puppy instead because maybe i was a dog person but I shut that down too. I told him our place must be pet free.
I told him my reasons and he said we could work on my fear beforehand and it won't be a big deal. I told him absolutely not. I've been afraid of animals my whole life and it's not something that's going to change in a few months.
I felt like he was belittling my fear. You don't tell people who are afraid of snakes or roaches or rats to work on getting over their fear so why is mine any different?
I basically told him it's me or the cat. I'm willing to not move in together if he really wants to keep his cat. He said it was really unfair to make him get rid of his cat and ban him from having any pets in our apartment. We're barely speaking right now. Every time I bring it up, he says he doesn't want to talk about it right now.
AITA for telling him no pets in our apartment? ###### | YTA
This isn't the only ultimatum you've issued your SO either, this is your second post in ten days about putting your foot down and demanding concessions from him. I really hope he sees sense and puts more than a living room's distance between the two of you. ###### |
My gf was walking from work to her home today and wanted to talk on the phone. We are currently long distance because of the pandemic, so I'm kind of used to us talking through phone - the usual how your day went, venting about customers, me talking about my buddies, my games etc.
Idk why but after some time I just wanted to stop talking. Not sure if I just didnt want to talk or because I wanted to go back to my pc to play, but I decided to say goodbye to my gf. She went silent for a few seconds then told me she tought I will at least wait until she gets home.
I asked her if she has a long way to go still, because I'm right in front of my house and want to go inside already (I went to take a walk to talk to her) and then she went silent again, told me nevermind & added that she doesnt want to force me to talk for a three more minutes until she gets home if I really don't want to.
Am I the asshole for not waiting until she's at her home? I feel like she's mad at me or something. Usually she writes to me once she's safe at her place but this time I had to blow up her phone after some time and ask her myself if she's alright ###### | YTA
This is less about talking on the phone and more about her being safe by being in contact with someone in a real time setting while walking home alone.
If you dont always want to talk to her on her way home thats fine, but you should tell her this before you're her safety call for the day so she can plan accordingly. ###### |
When I started dating my wife she had 15 year old daughter Lisa. Her dad was not in the picture. I was never tried to become her step-dad rather I was her mother's bf. My wife was homophobic when Lisa come out as lesbian she was shattered and disowned her. We had no contact with her for till now, actually Lisa tried she was even ready to leave her long term partner but my wife adamant that she is not welcome in our family. My wife died few weeks ago, I invited Lisa for funeral, she contacted me yesterday for her mother's inheritance. Her mother left everything to me from house to money. I told her as my wife don't think her as her daughter she is not entitled to anything. She left quietly after that but her partner send me message that I am an TA for not sharing anything with her. ###### | YTA
This doesn’t sound like she was even looking for money. How hard would it have been to give her a jewelry box and some photo albums? ###### |
I am a 28(M) had been dating my now fiancé now for 5 years. We live to gather. I pay 90% of our bills we have separate finances. Now IHave never ask my fiancé or even talk to her whenever I was about to make a major financial decision but I do get the input of my mother and father because my mother is my lawyer and my father is my accountant/financial advisor. So when it comes to something I want to do they look into it for me and let me know if it’s a good ideal or not.
My fiancé is always the last to know.
Now my father doesn’t like her father because my dad had a great investment opportunity for my fiancé. She asked her father who had no financial insight whatsoever and he told her not to. That stock blow up and could have made my fiancé a lot of money.
My dad thinks her fathers an idiot and should stay in his own lane. She doesn’t think my parents should be this connected to my finances. So I told her she shouldn’t worry too much about my finances because all my parents have ever done is help me make a lot of money. She call me an asshole and is giving me the silent treatment.
My Fiancé asked my father to look into certain stocks that she might be interested in. he found one that was very promising and she was all for it and one of her weekly calls with her parents she mentioned it in a father thought it was a stupid idea so she told my dad never mind he thought maybe she got cold feet happens all the time he wasn’t upset. She told my father that her father told her not to do it so my dad doesn’t dislike my fiancé just a dad.
Our bank account our separate I don’t know what she spents money on. I don’t ask what she spends money on. I don’t care what she spends money on. She doesn’t tell me either. ###### | YTA
They say only a fool has himself for a client. The next step of that has to be letting your parents be your lawyer and financial advisor. Would a random financial advisor that you worked with have gotten upset that your fiance didn't take his tip? I doubt it.
I wouldn't marry someone who's finance were in your position. ###### |
I (21M) have been with her (21F) for a year now.
Recently, she did something which many people would consider to be not the smartest decision in our current environment (social distancing). Anyway, she, as a very social college student did something monumentally stupid and hosted a party with about 20 people.
My girlfriend, this one guy, and I were all randomly assigned to the same breakout room during a zoom class. We both knew they guy, and he asked my girlfriend about it then proceeded to call her a "sluty bitch" for hosting a party when it was this dangerous.
Now personally, I was very disappointed in my girlfriend for doing this, so when that guy said what he did, I didn't really say anything besides saying that that was kinda harsh but that my gf shouldn't have done that. That's what I said on zoom.
My girlfriend is really mad about me not totally defending her despite her being in the wrong action-wise.
So AITA for not defending her? ###### | YTA
They just subjected her to misogynistic slurs and you indirectly supported them by failing to call them out on it.
I agree her actions were irresponsible but they do *not* warrant sexist abuse of this kind.
If I was her I'd have dumped you so quickly your head would be spinning. ###### |
Some background info: My child is a high functioning special needs kid. He has problems with how fast he learns new concepts. 90-95% of the time he is in general education with minimal accommodations. My child receives a daily behavior chart for entire school day. On the back of the chart is a list of questions for parents to fill out daily and an area for comments or concerns.
My child’s special needs teacher wants me to fill out this form every day, but honestly I don’t feel they need to know some (maybe all) of the questions that they list. The reasoning behind this is clearly stated on the paper because they want to understand any changes in behavior that they see during the day. She is only with my child a short period of time. And my child is verbal so it isn’t like the kid can’t speak up about any issues.
Some of the questions are about bedtime, where we went, what visitors we had, what we ate for dinner, etc.
I’ve always been reaching out with to teachers on any factors that may cause changes in behavior, but this seems excessive.
WIBTA for telling them how intrusive this list of question is and they don’t need to know such matters all the time? I know it seems like they mean well, but it rubs me the wrong way. ###### | YTA
They aren't asking these questions for the hell of it, they are asking them so that they are best placed to support your child.
You might not see the value in some of the questions, but are you specifically trained to know what stuff they need to know? You might reach out to them with the things *you think* they need to know, but that doesn't mean you won't miss something important.
Ultimately, these questions might help your son, and filling them in does no harm to you. So why not just do it? ###### |
This is my throwaway account.
My (37F) babysitter (16F) has been babysitting for me for about 2 months. She’s a very sweet and quiet girl and is good with the kids (4F and 8M), we’ve only had small problems here and there but nothing major at all. When she first started babysitting for me I had asked her if there were any drinks or snacks that she’d like me to keep at the house as she’s here from 9-7 every day Monday through Saturday. She mentioned that she really liked seltzer water and I had bought them for the first month, but honestly I forgot after a while and never kept any in the fridge. A few days ago I bought hard seltzer’s for me and my husband, and didn’t think anything of it.
A little bit after 2 pm she messaged me that she wasn’t feeling well and thought that she may have to go home, if it was possible if I could get off from work earlier. I asked her to try and hold out until the end of the day. Not too long after she called me crying, saying that something was wrong and she had to go home.
She was drunk clearly, she drank the hard seltzer’s. I told her to leave and she walked home.
She messaged me the next day and said that she now knew that hard seltzer’s were alcohol, and she hadn’t know, she never drank before as both of her parents were alcoholics and she has diagnosed PTSD regarding alcohol, she never planned on drinking in general. I told her not to come back as she put my children in danger. She called me crying and saying that she didn’t know, and that she cared deeply about my children and would never ever drink with them, or at all, and that she needs the money to pay for her drivers permit (she comes from a not so well off family). I told her to find a real job and that it wasn’t my fault she got drunk.
My husband says I’m being very rude and that she did try to reach out when she wasn’t feeling well. My kids are upset to see her go.
So reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA
These are very unique circumstances, because in literally ANY other case of intoxicated childcare worker, you’d be right. But she did every single thing properly in trying to be a good childcare provider. She reached out to you the moment things got weird and she didn’t feel entirely stable. Honestly, if we’re being literal here and following the course of events, *you’re* the one who put your children in danger. She asked to go home and requested you take over a bit soon, and you told her no, and in that moment when you said no you became the reason your kids were around an intoxicated childcare provider longer than they had to be.
She didn’t know, she needs the money, she’s done a good job and your kids love her. She followed all the protocol for being vigilant of her physical and mental status in regards to keeping the children safe, and that’s rare to find. She’s an excellent sitter, and you should rehire her and honestly apologize. ###### |
Today I was hanging out with my girlfriend for a bit at my place, and a friend of mine stopped by to help me out with something while she was making food.
Me and my girlfriend have a very playful relationship and joke around all the time about anything and everything.
As my buddy walked in, I told him my girlfriend was over and he asked where she was. I told him that she was in the kitchen where she belonged, making me a dinner. He laughed, and then I proceeded to yell over to my girlfriend quote: “You hear that _____? I told so and so you’re in the kitchen where you belong, making me a goddamn dinner.”
Well looks like that joke may have went a little too far because she ended up yelling at me, called me a dickhead, and left with the stove on. My friend kind of just stared at me in silence. I was confused out of my mind. We joke all the time and that seemed to set something off I guess.
I’ve tried contacting her to apologize but she hasn’t answered. I’ll try again tomorrow when things are more cooled off hopefully. I didn’t mean to offend her, it was just a playful joke like ones we’ve made before.
So tell me Reddit, was I the asshole here? ###### | YTA
There's playful and plain sexist and disrespectful
Even if you didn't mean to insult her, you need to learn the difference of what you can and can't say ###### |
So me (31M) and my wife (23f) have been together 3 years, married close to two. We started living together shortly before getting married, and she was super messy. Even before we moved in together house was a total mess. According to her family, they never taught her to clean so she doesn't know better.
It always got on my nerves, but she gradually got less dirty so it was whatever. Well we had a baby recently, and during the pregnancy she actually started to clean here and there. I'd usually comment on it like "wow, you're actually cleaning!" Or something of the sort because it was actually a shock.
Now, the baby is here and she's recovered and she's actually cleaning a lot every day. The other day she started sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming right after having breakfast, and cleaned the kitchen and the kitchen table then did the dishes. I said something like "man, I can't believe you're actually cleaning. I guess you finally decided to grow up and stop being a child now that we have an actual child" she got pissed off and told me to go fuck myself, then went to the room and ignored me pretty much the rest of the day. That was 4 days ago and she barely will talk to me and hasn't cleaned at all since then. So now I'm wondering AITA? ###### | YTA
There was no possible good intent behind your words.
You were trying to be an asshole, and succeeded. ###### |
I (20/f) have a small group of friends and recently a new guy joined us (Jack). Jack is pretty friendly & cute but he has the most SEVERE stutter I’ve ever heard in my life. Tbh, it’s tiring to deal with it. My friends really like him and put up with his speech but I find it extremely difficult.
Whenever we all hang out and he talks, I just finish the sentence for him if he’s taking especially long to get there. For example he’ll say “I w-w-ent h-h-h-o-“ and I’ll say — “home?”. My friends told me to stop doing that and told me in private that I’m embarrassing/ hurting Jack. However from what I’ve seen he doesn’t seem to mind it at all.
Btw Jack and I text each other and he asked me on a few occasions if I want to hang out 1 on 1 (probably Cos we have similar hobbies). The thing is, his stutter is 1000x times worse when he talks to me directly. There’s no way I can put up with that for more than 2 minutes. So I declined each time and he told me it’s fine.
Anyway a couple of days ago Jack was super excited and telling us that he won a prize in some writing competition he entered. But as you know, it took him a **LONG** time to tell us he won. So I basically finished his sentence while he broke the news which is apparently the worst thing I could’ve done. Literally all of my friends yelled at me to “SHUT UP” at the same time.
I was verbally attacked by everyone which was so hurtful that I just left. I had no bad intentions yet everyone is acting like I’m such a horrible person. Jack actually reached out to me and said that he doesn’t want me to be upset. Well I’m very upset but don’t know if I’m truly the asshole or not. ###### | YTA
The general group consensus is that they wanna let him speak. If you can’t wait for him to finish talking then maybe don’t be his friend or don’t hang out with him ###### |
My dad and mum have recently moved (permanently) to sunnier shores and gave me the house. There's a whole lot of details revolving around that 'deal' which isn't really necessarily to mention for this post but long story extremely short, I'm on 'probation' for awhile and then it will officially/legally mine. The point is I'm moving in and since it's a pretty big house for one person, I told my mates that I was looking for someone trustworthy to move in with me and be my housemate. Told my parents, they were cool with it and gave me the thumbs up. I heard back that my sister's ex fiance (broke up over five years ago) was looking for a place to stay so I messaged him and manage to come up with an arrangement. He's an okay guy and pretty 'reserved'-ish like me so it's worked out pretty well so far. My sister came over just to visit and bumped into him. Things were awkward, he left and she bit my head off for hanging out with him then blew up after I told her that he's moved it. Said that I should've spoken to her and invited her instead since she would've loved to move back in. I wanted a housemate, not a sister. She's really mad at me right now and has been complaining about this to my parents. ###### | YTA
The decent thing to do would have been to talk to her before asking the ex about moving in. It's also their past and not up to you to decide if it's been long enough for grudges to be over. ###### |
So this has been getting to me still, months after it happened. I (20F) decided to get a boob reduction over winter break before going back to school in January. I have had back issues since I was a young teenager and my health insurance finally covered it (USA). I did not tell my bf of 1 year about it before or after I had it done. He only found out about it after I came back and was spending time at his apartment.
He was confused at first and when I told him that I had gotten surgery to have them reduced, he was upset that I never told him. He says it's not about the size, but that I had gone through major surgery and not told him anything while we were apart for a month.
AITA for keeping him in the dark on the issue? I was afraid of him trying to talk me out of it, so I didn't say anything beforehand. I feel like I had every right to not tell him, but I have doubts. We are still together now and it's not an issue (especially considering we have been apart for months now), but I still think about it. ###### | YTA
That’s a huge moment in your life, and like he says, you had a major operation. To freeze someone out entirely during something as serious as that is going to make someone feel like they can’t be there for you. Plus, you trusted him so little to accept your decisions that you thought this was the best approach - that hints at bigger issues with either yourself or the relationship that you should address ###### |
I (25f) was supposed to get married late April. Due to COVID, we decided to postpone. We've been postponing and finally our venue is opening up, but they've said we can only bring 20 guests. We originally had a guest list of over a 100 people, but due to the pandemic a lot of them backed out and said they'd attend over Zoom. We're down to 60 people now. My sister was one of those people. She was 2 months pregnant at the time (now she's 7 months along or almost), and said that she'd attend over zoom. I know she felt very bad, so she bought me my wedding dress as my wedding gift + apology present.
For a while now, BIL and her have been in the process of buying a new house. They finally moved in a month and a half ago. Their house is absolutely gorgeous. It has a pool and a tennis court. I know that she can get her pool covered, and removing the nets from the tennis court would open up a world of possibilities and give us so much space to work with.
She was unhappy when I brought it up. Apparently she didn't want people coming in and out setting up the place, then giving up a spare bedroom or two to me and my bridesmaids and having makeup artists come into her house.
I don't get the big deal. She can still stay inside and watch the ceremony over zoom, or even better- her balcony. I mean, this is the only way that I can get all 60 of my guests to attend, without cutting down more. I don't get why she doesn't want to compromise. She doesn't have to attend in person if she doesn't want to.
She said that she's already bought me my wedding dress, but I'm willing to pay her back for it in monthly payments if it means she'll let me have her wedding at her place. I can't afford the cost of the dress upfront. ###### | YTA
That is way overstepping boundaries, even for a sister. It is their new house, she is 7 months pregnant and you want to have your wedding there? On top of this, we are in a pandemic so you are potentially exposing her to COVID-19. You have got to be kidding. ###### |
My Step daughter is 20 and recently single. She always has been a social butterfly to put it nicely. Her boyfriend left her over cheating rumours which I wouldn't doubt for a second. My husband and I don't share the same views and she's his little girl which is fair enough but I feel like she's too out there. She was only single for 2 weeks before hanging out with a new guy and I spoke to my husband about this and he told me to stay out of it and not say anything. I got angry at this as I liked her ex and I said she's became a slut ever since she turned 18. My husband is pissed I said this. AITA or is he overreacting ###### | YTA
Sounds like you're a bitter prude to be honest. As long as everything is safe amd consentual it isn't hurting anyone if she sleeps with the entire marine corps.
Mind your own business and focus on your own sex life ###### |
Hello reddit, my husband told me that I was an asshole for the way I acted but I don't think so. Please take a moment to read and share your opinion on this.
My daughter \[17F\] came to me yesterday and told me that she would like to see a therapist as her mental state has been down ever since she broke up with her ex boyfriend and she believes she has a major depressive disorder. Personally, I find it kind of silly to pay $100 just to see a therapist especially considering the fact that it’s completely normal to be upset after a break up. That’s not to say that she doesn’t have a major depressive disorder, but it’s unlikely. I obviously did not tell her that she is not depressed, but I did tell her that almost everyone goes through this moment during a break up and even I did in my teenage years.
My daughter still insisted that she would love to see one. The thing is, she rarely has open discussions with me, and it took her almost one week to tell me that she broke up with her boyfriend and that was only because I caught her sobbing in her room.
I believe that if she would give me a chance she won’t need another therapist because in the end, no one understands their daughters better than a mother. When I told her this she just said ‘fine’ and left.
I told my husband after I ended the discussion with her and he told me that I was an asshole for the way I acted since our daughter rarely opens to us and this was the chance I had to show her that I am always there for her and (he believes) I failed. I on the other hand think I acted pretty reasonable with her. What do you guys think? ###### | YTA
So, to begin, **YOU'RE NOT A THERAPIST**. If you were a therapist, it would be unethical for you to treat your own child. So you are both unqualified and wholly unsuitable.
> she rarely has open discussions with me
So you think you can force that to change? That forcing her to talk to you would help her want to talk to you?
> I believe that if she would give me a chance she won’t need another therapist because in the end, no one understands their daughters better than a mother.
As an independent outside observer, I can tell you with absolute certainty that you are one mother who sure as hell does not understand her daughter.
> I told my husband after I ended the discussion with her and he told me that I was an asshole
Yup. Yup to this. ###### |
My wife adopted a 12 year old boy. I participated in some of the process and was enthusiastic at the beginning, but things have changed since then.
We talked about summer camps and after school programs back during the adoption process, but since the pandemic the kid has been home 24/7. I start work at 7am and stop for dinner at 5pm, and then after that I have an online gaming team I have to practice with, and I'm trying to improve my painting too. Plus, I want to spend time with my wife. Since the kid is home all the time he is asking me to do things with him or explain my work to him, and it is difficult to focus at work, and on my own stuff or or my wife afterward.
I brought up potentially reversing the adoption, which I believe is a legal option, to my wife. She just stared at me and won’t talk about it at all. I’ve tried to bring it up three times now. I’m not sure the exact process but I think we should talk about it before the probationary period expires.
I feel like because this is not really what we expected it is not that unreasonable to have second thoughts. I read that 10-25% of adoptions are stopped at this stage so it's not extreme to think of it. ###### | YTA
So you want to return a kid because he’s home more than you’d like (through no fault of his own) and you don’t want to be bothered to do dad stuff, like answer simple questions about your job or spend time with the kid?
Yeah, you’re a dick. ###### |
My wife is a full-time nurse, a mom of two young children and in school for her masters degree. I also work a full-time job and I’m training for a marathon. She pretty much lets me run whenever I need to and I occasionally get to hang out with my friends. She’s pretty good about not saying anything when I need to do what I need to do for work or leisure. The problem is she needed to study this weekend and I didn’t make plans because I had asked her how much time she needed to study and she didn’t answer me. Granted I asked her when she was already in bed because she had to be up at 4:30 in the morning. That was five days ago she hasn’t brought it up since. I didn’t make any plans and now I’m frustrated that I have to take the kids and find something to do while she studies. She blew up on me complaining about how she makes all the sacrifices and she’s just asking for a few hours of study time. I think she’s not being respectful of my feelings and the fact that I could’ve made plans had she told me she needed a few hours to study. Words were exchanged and I called her a fucking cunt. Well as you can imagine that didn’t go over very well. We got an a huge fight and I took off and left her with the kids for the day. Now she’s not backing down. I feel like she needs to be more respectful of my time and communicate with me how many hours she needs to study. She thinks I’m being totally unreasonable. Am I the asshole? ###### | YTA
So you decided to come to reddit and whine about how your wife pretty much let's you do what you want and when she needed you to step up to the plate you're pissed about it.
Grow up. It amazes me people like you get married and have children. ###### |
Soo as many of you have been doing in these times, I’m currently doing work from home. I have a wife and two toddlers (twins). I need silence to work and I don’t have a home office (we are in a smallish apartment, just enough room for the four of us). It has been slowly pissing me off because I am working hours and I hear noises such as my wife talking, watching tv kids playing from the other room. I have been VERY patient with them telling more than once that I need 100% silence to focus but even if they are trying to be “quiet” I still hear some noises (kids, walking around, making food, cleaning etc.). I got fed up with it and told my wife off, I’m the one working in this family and paying for everything. The least they can give me is peace and quiet while I do my job. My wife is a stay at home mom and it’s her job to be silent and shut the kids up. If I don’t have complete silence, I cannot work and therefore could lose my job. My wife on the other hand doesn’t appreciate any of it. When I wasn’t working from home she would ask me to do chores after work and take care of the kids when I am obviously very tired needing to wind down and relax for the night. Then when I’m off on the weekend, I’m still expected to help out. I would remind her that that’s her job as a stay at home mom, but she refuses to listen to me because “it’s my kids and my home too”. It hurts that she doesn’t appreciate how hard I work or my feelings. I do my part by supporting this family financially, if it wasn’t for me we wouldn’t have a roof over our head, or food to eat. But despite me voicing my feelings she not only has the nerve to disturb my work but also expect me to work more afterwards. My wife is angry at me and refuses to back down. The worst part? She claimed that *i* don’t appreciate *her*. Honestly, AITA?? I work very hard and I feel like I deserve to have my feelings considered. ###### | YTA
So much so I wonder if you're trolling.
You can have total silence at home, *or* a family with young children. Pick one. Oh wait... you did. It's not realistic that anyone can keep toddlers silent all the time. You need a serious reality check.
Also, if your work is confined to business hours, your wife's should be too. Caring for kids is work, you seem to have missed that. And the reason you are able to work full time is because your wife is stepping up to care for your children, for free I might add. She isn't your maid. You still need to do household chores and upkeep. Just like childfree and single working people do. You cannot demand to restrict your work to 40 hours a week and keep your wife working on-call as an indentured servant 24/7.
Finally, your wife is right. You don't appreciate her. If you maintain this attitude, she will likely and justifiably leave you for someone who does appreciate her and her contributions to your family.
You sound extremely entitled and like you have a lot if learning to do. ###### |
I have a step sister, We are both the age of 16. So today I was in the room with my girlfriend watching a movie, Then she just completely bust open my door and starts yelling at me in front of her “You fucking idiot! Learn how to put the toilet seat down! Omg you are so dumb” then storms out my room. I was so embarrassed that she did that in front of my girlfriend.
I waited for when my girlfriend to go home, Then I went in her room and asked why did you do that in front of her? You could’ve waited, it was no need for you to cuss me out in front of her. She just ignores me texting on her phone, So I snatch her phone and say “You dumb bitch why would you embarrass me like that?! I would never embarrass you like that if you were hanging out with your boyfriend. BEFORE you sit down on the toilet check dumbass, it’s not my fault” then I dropped her phone on the floor and left her room. I don’t see how it’s my fault she should look before she sits down on the toilet. ###### | YTA
So are you embarrassed now that your gf knows that you don't put toilet seat down?
Why is it so hard.. surely you dont flush the lid open right?
Sometimes embarrassing is way to get message thru. ###### |
My daughter is only 15. She is way too young to be dressing in a two piece, but my wife agreed to let her buy one without my knowledge.
The last time we went to the lake, which was last week, after I had unloaded the boat and we'd started to pull out into the lake my daughter takes off her shirt and shorts and I see the bikini. I stop the boat and ask her and my wife why she is wearing a bikini. They tell me that it's no big deal and that all of her friends wear them so why should she not wear one too. I tell them that she's too young to wear something so revealing and I disapprove. I tell her that either she covers up or I will take the boat back to the ramp, so she agrees, mostly because some of her friends were there and she didn't want to ruin their trip.
Both my wife and my daughter were angry with me and let me know they thought I was being too strict and needed to get with the times. I told them that I couldn't care less what her friends wear because they are not my daughters. What they wear is irrelevant. That is between them and their parents, and in my opinion there is no reason for a 15-year-old to wear something like this. I told them both that next time if she did not wear a tankini, one piece or something that covered her up more she would not be coming with us to the lake. She would stay at home or else I would refuse to get the boat out and we would all stay home.
I realize that my daughter is getting older, and in another year or so I doubt I would object to a two piece, but that is in another year or so. Right now she is 15, and there's no reason why she needs to show so much of her skin.
AITA for what I told my wife and daughter and being so anti two piece? ###### | YTA
She’s plenty old enough to wear a 2 piece bathing suit. It is JUST a swim suit. No one will have an issue with this except for you. ###### |
My Step daughter is 20 and recently single. She always has been a social butterfly to put it nicely. Her boyfriend left her over cheating rumours which I wouldn't doubt for a second. My husband and I don't share the same views and she's his little girl which is fair enough but I feel like she's too out there. She was only single for 2 weeks before hanging out with a new guy and I spoke to my husband about this and he told me to stay out of it and not say anything. I got angry at this as I liked her ex and I said she's became a slut ever since she turned 18. My husband is pissed I said this. AITA or is he overreacting ###### | YTA
She's above 18.
It's her life.
Her dating and sexual habits are none of your business, and insulting your (step-)child like this is just horrible. ###### |
I (22F) recently bought a house. I worked hard at college and landed a pretty great job at the start of the year because of it, and I've been saving a lot due to working from home that meant on top of my other savings I had enough for a deposit on a new home. My mother hasn't been so lucky. My dad left her a year ago and has squandered most of her divorce settlement to the point where, when she lost her job in March, she had to use up what money she had to keep her place. She begged me to stay at mine and eventually I said she could as long as she follows my rules.
Anyway, a month has passed and in that time she's decided that my rules are unreasonable, but whenever I tried to do something I wanted to do when I lived with her I was always told "my house my rules" so I thought, to hell with it, I'm going to give her a taste of her own medicine and see how she feels. She has a set time when she has to go to her room every night just like she did to me. She has to help out with chores like cooking and cleaning. She does my laundry from time to time as well. If I want to play games or watch a movie she isn't to disturb me.
I know it's petty but she was horrible growing up. I couldn't have friends over unless I got permission first. When my dad bought me a car for my 18th she kept telling me how to drive it. I was practically told how to live by this woman and that was before she had an accident. After that she became bitter with everyone and basically forced my dad to leave her for someone who wouldn't shout at him.
She broke down yesterday night saying that I'm taking advantage of her because she has nowhere else to go, but that's not my problem. I told her if she has a problem following my rules she can leave. Dad is on my side but my best friend said that I'm being am asshole because "your mom paid for your college tuition" as if that's somehow relevant to the current situation. So, Reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA
She paid for your tuition? So you are not $40 to $100k in debt, able to buy a house and have a well-paying job? You do realize that you owe this woman a huge debt of gratitude, right?
Telling your mother what time to go to bed and to not "bother" you when you are watching movies or playing games is outrageous. You are one of the biggest AH's I've read about in the 2 years I've been reading this sub.
BTW, she had an accident and became bitter? Is she disabled? ###### |
My GF and I are both in pretty expensive private college. We've been dating since October of last year and honestly I'm so close to telling her that I love her. But right now I feel like I've been lied to. In short, my parents make a lot of money and send me money while I'm in school. Sometimes it's more than I need so I'll spend it getting some high end stuff like Balenciaga or some nice Nikes. Just your run of the mill streetwear fan. And she always had nice stuff too but she was always a bit shy to tell me about her home life.
Well since we are moving back into school, I thought I'd swing by and meet her family and help her move in. But after talking, her parents don't make enough for her to afford anything she has. Her brother told me everything about how her mum has been unemployed for years and her dad is a middle school teacher.
She came clean that everything is a fake or a rep. Well she has given me gifts like a wallet and some shoes that apparently are also fake.
I overreacted and said some things I shouldn't have. I regret saying that she's just brand hungry and only cares about the label. And before anyone comes at me, I buy brand name stuff too but it's all within what I can afford. I'm not walking around with some fake Rolex when all I can afford is a Walmart watch. That's lying and I feel lied to now that I'm roped into it with my fake stuff as well. I left and we haven't spoken since.
And to be clear I'm not mad that she makes less money. I'm just mad that she lies about it.
AITA? ###### | YTA
She may have gotten into a prestigious school, but she can’t afford the prestigious lifestyle. So, to avoid having to be seen as lesser among her peers, she bought fakes. Apparently fakes so good that a brand hungry fan of streetwear couldn’t tell. (Which seems suspicious to me.) You found out because you butt into her family life before she was willing to share that, and you judged her for the fact that her family is less well off than yours.
Maybe if you love her, don’t be shallow? I mean, it sucks that she feels the need to perform for her peers to such a level, but you’re not great from the perspective of someone who is meant to value who she is. Normally, you’d think you’d reassure her that you don’t care about the materialistic things, instead you showed just how important materialistic things are to you. (While not being able to spot a fake?) ###### |
My friend (27, F) says she has a connective tissue disorder and says this affects her entire body and for nearly a decade she has a condition where the pressure of the fluid in her brain is low and this causes her brain to be inflamed which causes headaches, seizures and causes her to 'constantly hear things'.
I've seen her 'seizures' and what happens is her eyelids will twitch rapidly or her bicep will start twitching or the corners of her mouth will twitch, it's weird but she's fully conscious when these happen. She says they can happen constantly some days and they're annoying. She also says she doesn't sleep because of her symptoms and she's really depressed all the time.
I tell her to help me with stuff (physical stuff) and she says she doesn't feel like doing anything because she feels bad physically and also because she feels too depressed to do anything. She says she misses the time when she felt well and thinks about it constantly and she says each month she's getting worse.
Well tonight I told her to get something from a room and the room had a broken light so it was dark since it was dark out. She said she was 'feeling' for the thing she was asked to get and I kept having to explain to her where the thing was, she ended up getting the wrong one so I told her to go back. I said in a kind of angry tone ''this is life skills [her name]'' and she got angry at me and she said when it's dark she goes blind because she sees ''static'' in her vision or something like that.
I also told her she was really lazy and she should do more stuff rather than be at the computer or in bed all day, because my dad is 60 and he goes to work every day (she doesn't work and hasn't had a job).
She hasn't been speaking to me since and I feel like I may of done something wrong. AITA here? I am 29, M. ###### | YTA
She may have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.
You don't have her disability, you don't get to judge how she deals with it.
If she has Ehlers, treatment is exceedingly difficult to gain access to.
Once again. YTA. A massive giant AH. ###### |
Me [18F], my parents, my brother Tom and his girlfriend Lily [22M & 24F] went out for dinner yesterday.
We were all casually dressed. I wore jeans, t shirt, trainers etc and my parents and brother dressed the same way. Lily was different. She wore a dark dress, full makeup, hair done, heels etc. She looked like she was going to a wedding or a job interview or something. To be fair she is always like this. She's very fashion conscious. The only time I've ever seen her dressed down is at the gym. She dresses her best just to go the shop to buy milk.
At dinner it was quite busy, and we were wondering if they got our table number mixed up. I said for a joke that there was no chance of that with Lily's clothes sticking out they way they do. She gave me a dirty look for that.
When we got home Lily decided to stay the night. She didn't bring a change of clothes so borrowed Tom's jogging bottoms and t shirt. She came down after changing and taking her makeup off, and I said she looked cute, which she did. She gave me another dirty look and asked if she wasn't too overdressed for me.
WTF? That was a joke I made at the restaurant about the fact she was the odd one out. It wasn't meant to offend her or criticise the way she dresses.
She ignored me the rest of the night and still isn't talking to me in this morning. I did try to apologise but she ignored it.
I don't see what I did wrong. It wasn't meant to insult her so I'm not sure why she's so annoyed. ###### | YTA
She made a real effort to look nice for you and your family, plus this style is not at all out of character for her.
She already is the odd one out, being the GF, not a blood relative, and the only one at that.
You should not be doing anything to make her uncomfortable, but instead, be welcoming.
You come across as one of those 'not like other girls' types, who does not like other woman all dressed up and looking their best, hence why you make fun of her when she looks like that (and in this post criticize her for always looking like that), but praise her when she looks 'casual', just as you like it. I highly doubt this is the first time you have made either a 'joke' about her looks, or a compliment that is meant to 'reward' her for looking your idea of normal.
Realize that your way is not better (or worse) than her way of dressing, just different. Live and let live. The way she dresses in no way reflects on you. How would you feel, if she made it perfectly clear that she does not approve of your laid back dress sense, and would like you to become more 'normal', or in other words, like her? ###### |
My wife (38F) recently decided that she would like to lose some weight. I (38M) think she is beautiful regardless of weight but if she wants to lose weight that's fine too. We could definitely both stand to have better eating habits.
Yesterday she informed me of this plan and asked if I would be "supportive." I told her I'd be happy to support her, and asked for clarification of what that meant. She was very hesitant to clarify, only continuing to emphasize that she'd like me to be "supportive." Now, I know what this means. I do most of the cooking around here and I'm sure it would not be helpful for her weight loss regimen if I continued to cook my usual specialties, which are not exactly diet-friendly. But she just wouldn't say it - I'm assuming she thought I might pout about it. And you know, that's probably fair because I don't love the idea of cutting down on my red meat intake, but I can be mature enough to admit it's a good idea. So I'd be happy to change up my cooking if she'd just ask. But she didn't!
So, after she went to bed last night, I wrote what I thought was a fun and silly little four-chord song about how she's going to eat a lot of salad and lose a bunch of weight and it's going to be great! I thought it was extremely supportive. But she got pretty annoyed and accused me of being "cringe" which is, for the record, not an adjective, and now she's been a little mad at me all day.
I know doing the song was probably dumb, but I just wanted her to come out and say what she means when she says she wants me to be supportive. AITA? ###### | YTA
Really dude? Fucking really? How old are you, 8? All you had to do, if her specifically saying the words is so important to you (and yes, I can agree that she should’ve just said what she meant), was to ask her: ”are you asking me to specifically change my cooking/cut back on my red meat intake?” ###### |
I’m an adult finishing up my Bachelors degree. I realized I got a few scholarships last semester that I didn’t apply to. I didn’t apply to any scholarships for that matter.
Now the school keeps pestering me to meet with the donors via zoom to thank them. I believe it was around 1000.00 usd.
I don’t want to.
I’m already busy enough. I work full time an hour away from home, so that’s basically 12 hours away from home. I have two kids that I try to interact with for a little before I work on the two classes this semester. Also, I’m getting ready to have surgery in a week.
I told them I’d write an email. Then they responded I can record a video and they would send that.
I’m thankful for the money, but I never asked for it. I think a written email should suffice. ###### | YTA
Prerecorded: "Hey there, thank you for your good deed! it warms my heart that we still have this kindness in your midst!"
That is too much work for you. That's how much of an asshole you appear to be. That much. ###### |
I married my husband 2 years ago and my relationship with my stepson (12) has never been well. We tried everything but nothing seems to work. His behavior towards me is so terrible, he shouts at me, swears me, and calls me worst “mother” ever.
His 13th birthday is tomorrow and since my daughter (7F) birthday is only 10 days apart we usually celebrate them both in the same day (they are fine with it). I asked my stepson who he has invited and that's when he facepalms me and tells me that he has already answered this question before in the worst tone ever. This is where I lost it and told him that because of his attitude I am going to cancel his birthday tomorrow. At first he didn’t believe me since it’s not the first time I intend to punish him without actually doing it in the end. But this time I was serious, and to prove it to him I called his grandparents and told them his birthday got cancelled. He started crying begging me not to cancel but I told him it’s too late.
I got berated by his grandparents because of this and told me that I don’t have the rights to cancel his birthday. As his mother I am pretty sure I can do what I want though but they weren’t listening to me. They even told me that tomorrow they are coming to his birthday with the gifts even after I told them not to bother because I won’t open the door.
AITA here? ###### | YTA
Please answer me what a 13m and a 7f have in common other than being in the same household that would warrant them sharing a birthday?
Or does it just make life easier for you?
You're an arsehole because you're clearly vying for dominance with a CHILD that you're supposed to be protecting and loving.
Kids are little shits they will be disrespectful and rude it's in their nature.
You're supposed to be the adult.
I hope his grandparents come take him out for the day. ###### |
My boyfriends parents divorced when he was in middle school but they never really got over each other and they both cheated on multiple partners with each other. The mom ended up getting pregnant from the last round of cheating and his dad left his fiancé to get back together with her. They both think it’s funny that they destroyed lives and they are super boastful about their affair baby. My family and childhood were torn apart by adultery and I hate cheaters.
The day of the hurricane we got a really bad storm while my boyfriend and his dad were out. I don’t live there but I was over that day and unable to leave because of trees falling down. She went into labor while they were out and I did call 911. The operator asked me to stay with her but it was freaking me out and I didn’t want to. She was crying and asked me not to leave her and to get her a pillow and help her sit up but I felt uncomfortable so I locked myself in my boyfriends room. She was freaking out and I didn’t know this at the time but my boyfriend was born with the chord around his neck and she was scared if the baby was she wouldn’t be able to get it off.
The ambulance got their eventually but I guess she passed out at some point and they ended up delivering the baby in the living room. She says that I’m an evil psychotic bitch and I’m never allowed in her house again or to meet her daughter but my boyfriend feels that I was in my rights not to help. ###### | YTA
No matter how you feel about people, you do not leave them alone in medical emergencies. ###### |
Son is 14M, cat is 3F. My son’s bedroom is one the third floor of our house, so it’s basically a finished attic. Early in the morning, a thunderstorm rolled in. It was pretty brutal, and it shook the house especially up in his room. I yelled up to him to come downstairs to the first floor, just in case something happened. He yelled back to me that he was coming, he just needed to grab his cat. Well the cat is not usually great with being carried, but she was extra squirmy because she was freaked out and probably because she could tell my son was scared. Well it was almost five minutes after I told him to come down and I was freaking out so I ran upstairs and grabbed my son’s wrist and took him downstairs, without his cat. My son started hysterically crying and screaming about having to go back for his cat and that’s when I told him “the cat’s life can be replaced, yours can’t”. This just made him more upset.
Thankfully, the worst thing that happened was our neighbors’ tree got knocked into the street and the storm cleared out. But now my son is being really cold to me, and carrying his cat around in what seems like spite. I told him to stop with his attitude, and he started yelling at me that I was an “animal abuser”, which I am absolutely not. What you have to understand is when I grew up, our cats lived outside and sometimes showed up at night, sometimes stayed out. We never took them to the vet. If the cat died, a new stray cat would show up soon enough. So it was different in my childhood, and I was freaking out about the storm and was terrified that my son would get hurt. AITA? ###### | YTA
No his cats LIFE can not be replaced. Necromancy and cloning only exist in the movies.
I mean you can adopt another son... so i guess his life can be replaced too by your logic. ###### |
Ok Reddit, I’ll try and keep the brief.
I’m a leading member of the US senate, but for the sake of anonymity, just call me Moscow.
So 4 years ago the opposition party held the presidency. Several months before the election and Supreme Court position became available. Normally the president nominates a judge and I call for a vote on the floor. Well, I refused to call the vote claiming since it was an election year the people should have a voice.
Well, we are in an election year and a Supreme Court spot just opened up. But currently we (the righteous party) hold the presidency. I fully plan to hold a vote on the president’s nominee.
I don’t know if we can win this election and I think it’s best if we simply stack the courts before the election.
Suddenly everyone is calling me a hypocrite. I don’t get it? I only did what anyone in my position would do—change the rules in your own favor. Party over country, right?
So, Reddit. AITA ###### | YTA
Mitch is a prolapsed sphincter of the highest degree. A bright pink rosebud. ###### |
I am now in extremely shitty situation. My daughter(Jane) cut all contact with me after my wife made some racist comments about her bf. I agree what she did is disgusting but Jane told me choose either between her or wife. How the hell I am supposed to do that. TBH my wife comes from racist family I called her out many times but I think racism is deeply rooted into her now it is impossible to do anything about it. This happened five years ago, Jane and her bf getting married soon. She called me yesterday and asked for some money as she is laid off. Actually she told me to honour promise I made to all my daughters(I helped them financially when they get married). I refused. I told her I made promise to my daughter and as she denounced me as her father I am no longer going to help her out. AITA ? ###### | YTA
Look man, it sucks that your daughter cut you off, but look at it from her perspective. Her own father wouldn't defend her against racism. That's extremely fucked up of you. It sucks that you feel like you have to choose between your daughter and your wife, but frankly, you made the wrong choice. You chose racism over compassion for your own flesh and blood. You choose for there to be no consequences for your wife's racist actions toward your daughter's relationship. You just shrugged and said, "Well, my wife has shitty beliefs that hurt my daughter, but that's just the way she is. Sorry Jane, but you're not as important to me as my wife, so I'm not going to stand up for you."
And then you doubled down on being the asshole by reneging on a promise you made because of a fucking technicality in the wording? You had a choice to try to show that you still care for your daughter, that you still consider her to **be** your daughter, and you fucked that up, too. This wedding might have been able to rebuild some bridges, and you just burned them to the ground. I hope you're happy with your decision to disown your daughter, because this was your second chance to mend things, and you're unlikely to get a third. ###### |
My oldest daughter is expecting her first child with her partner. She, I think, overshares when it comes to her pregnancy, but it's not my decision so I don't say anything. I see most of the updates on her Facebook, so really there's no need for me to ask her about the pregnancy when we talk, not that I really want to know any of the details. To me that's something that she should keep between herself and her partner and any friend or family that ask to be involved and she wants to involve. I have not asked to be involved and am fine being left out of the loop. In fact that's what I prefer with things like this.
I almost never ask her about her pregnancy when we talk. I think I've done it once or twice but can't remember why I asked. Usually I let her talk about it and just nod or agree with what she's saying, but I don't engage. She has never said anything to my face about my lack of interest, but she has complained to my sister and a few other family members who've let me know.
My sister told me I was being an asshole to her by largely ignoring the pregnancy and not checking in with her. She said that my daughter feels unsupported. I'm just not sure what she really expects. If she really needs help, I will be there but otherwise I feel this is better left to others in our family and don't want to be involved. It's not like there is a shortage of people wanting to check in with her and get updates.
In my defense, when my ex was pregnant it was the same. Some people are interested in pregnancy. Some are not. I am in the latter category.
AITA? ###### | YTA
Jeez, got a little pang of sadness for your daughter just reading this. Your daughter is going through something exciting, difficult, often painful, and life altering. You could at least act like you give a shit. ###### |
I love my girlfriend Celia, but I wish she had never signed up for roller derby. WIBTA if I tell her that?
It all started over a year ago. Celia wanted to do some kind of sport because she wasn't happy with her health. And I thought she was going to sign up for the gym or sign up for a sports team through our college's phys ed program. Well, turns out roller derby is kind of a thing in our city and Celia signed up for a league. Okay, not what I had in mind but whatever makes her happy.
I've been fucking miserable since she signed up. It used to be we would get take out and chill on Fridays but instead she is blowing off our chill time to go to practice or to volunteer at a game. Instead of gaming or anime marathons with our friends, she is always out with these new girls she met in the league. Its worse than she doesn't want to do these things anymore, she blows them off.
She doesn't want to hang out with our friends anymore (okay, they're more like my friends but they like hanging out with her). Before lockdown, she wanted to take me running late at night or early in the morning and she didn't want to do date nights that were dinner and tv or playing League of Legends into the predawn hours of the morning. And since lockdown she's started to become more grossed out by me. Yeah, I gained weight but this new lifestyle she has shouldn't excuse her sudden distaste for me.
And even if things hadn't gone to hell, she didn't even want to go to Comic Con this year. We always went in the two years we were dating and the year before that. But this year, she wanted to go to some roller derby convention in Vegas instead. What happened to our tradition?
Well, we got into a fight earlier and she is staying with a friend. I'm not going to talk about it but you can guess what it was about.
WIBTA if I tell her that I hate that she's doing derby? I miss that quiet, nerdy bookish girl from when we first met. I don't recognize this person anymore. ###### | YTA
It’s okay to express have feelings and express them, but ultimately, you’re saying “I wish you never developed new interests or grew as a person so we could stay the same forever.” ###### |
So we wanted the internet to settle this debate. I've been staying with my friend Kate for a little while at her beach house. We've been best friends since college, so obviously boundaries have kind of gone to the wayside. Kate has two daughters who are 18 and 16 and the 18 year old's boyfriend was visiting. His family isn't big on either of us.
We were out on her husband's boat and he was fishing. Kate was laying down on the dock of the boat sunbathing. For context she is afraid of literally everything, so her husband motioned to me that he was going to throw the dead (well I think it was dead, Kate claims it was wiggling when it hit her) fish at her. I untied just the top part of her bikini. Her husband saw me do it and didn't stop me. So he threw the fish, Kate freaked out, and the bikini fell down. The boyfriend did not see this part if it matters.
This is pretty normal dynamic for us, but her daughter got pissed because she thinks that this is why her boyfriend's parents don't like her, and she says her mom is embarrassing. Kate said I'm an asshole because she is fighting with her daughter over this. Her husband thinks I'm funny though. ###### | YTA
It’s a joke when everybody laughs. If only half the ppl are laughing, it wasn’t funny.
That’s not to say it wouldn’t have been funny if the daughter wasn’t there- but you gotta know your audience. ###### |
My parents are very wealthy and I grew up spoiled and completely unprepared for life. When I met my wife she has a lot of issues with my family and especially my mom. My mom has been diagnosed with a personality disorder but very few people know that. My mom was very clear that we were not allowed to tell our significant others. I decided my wife should know because it explained why my mom was the way she was but also so my wife could have all the facts before agreeing to have kids. There is literally no hope for my mom because too many people enable her but I wanted to be honest with my wife.
My mom hung up on me when she found out and sent someone to repossess the car she had given me, took back her offer to get us a house for a wedding gift, and said we would never see another penny from her. She didn’t even buy us a cheap wedding gift or a card. My mom still wants a relationship though my dad wanted her to cut me off completely and he hardly speaks to me these days.
I’m still close to my family but the financial discrepancy is huge. My mom pays for my nieces and nephews to go to private school, takes them on lavish trips, is fully funding their college, and plans to buy them car when they turn 16.
My son is 10 and definitely notices that his cousins have more. So far he doesn’t know that my parents pay for so much of it but I think in a couple years he will figure it won’t. WIBTA if I asked them to treat my son equally. ###### | YTA
It's not your money. Not only that, you're asking for money from a person who's trust you broke. You're an actual AH. ###### |
My wife and I had Drew young; she was 17 and I was 19.
We struggled a lot especially when Drew started to act oddly but for the most part my wife took it in stride as she had a brother who has autism.
Some of Drew’s quirks are;
He will only eat with certain cutlery, he has his plate and bowl etc.
He has his space at the table.
He has his own routine and all of which my wife allowed, she’d do exactly what he wanted and he absolutely adored her for it.
I went along with it for the sake of peace.
My wife passed last year from complications from childbirth and I’ve still fed into these little quirks my son has despite him being 10 now.
Despite being 10 he’s mentally around 5-6? We noticed he was stunted around 4 when he hadn’t started to talk.
It’s like I’ve snapped into action and stopped coddling him but he’s obviously struggling with this and every day there’s a new thing he’s throwing a tantrum about.
My wife’s parents think I’m being an asshole for not waiting longer as he’s just lost his mother and has a new sibling, two major life changes and that I know my wife wouldn’t be happy for my behaviour towards him.
AITA? ###### | YTA
It's not coddling when someone has a disability. Some sensory issues can be unbearable/painful for autistic people. It's not just a "preference". It's similar to say that giving a paraplegic a wheelchair is coddling them. ###### |
Throwaway because I don’t want this associated with my main account.
5 years ago, my ex-husband and I divorced after I admitted that I cheated on him. My husband ended up winning full custody of my child and he told me that he never wants to see me near him or our son ever again.
My marriage was never a happy one, and the only reason I married him was because I was desperate to get rid of my parents as they were extremely toxic.
During my marriage, I must admit that I was not the best mother to my son. When he turned 8 I started giving him as little attention as possible. My husband would give him much more attention despite him having a full-time job and I not. I also used to swear and scream at my son when I was angry, despite him doing nothing wrong. I was severally mentally unstable at that time (I am still visiting my therapist and taking the prescribed pills) and I regret all my actions.
Both my ex-husband and I are in a happy marriage now.
A couple of months ago, my mother passed away and it hit me really hard. It wasn’t because I missed her because I never had a good relationship with her, but it was because it reminded me of my son and how he also wouldn’t care when I will pass away. I missed my son so much and I regret everything that I did. I want to start over again with him.
I contacted my husband and he was really furious. We had a large argument and he ended up hanging up on me. I still want to visit my son either with or without his permission. WIBTA If I visit him? ###### | YTA
It's not about your husband much but what would be best for YOUR SON
You are not thinking of him at all which makes you an asshole still. Seems like you treated him horrible for so many years, your husband is right, you should not be anywhere near that child. Hope your son is happy, probably way happier without you.
Don't ruin his life any more than you already did! ###### |
Throw away for obvious reasons.
I know the title sounds bad but bare with me!
I had my son when I was 19 and my daughter when I was 21.
My daughter is now 19.
My daughter was raised mostly by her grandmother for the first five years of her life because I worked full time as did my children’s dad, we had to so we could support them.
My children’s grandmother was never affectionate and my daughter picked up on that and she’s never been interested in hugs etc; I remember twice that I’ve hugged her, both times she was in hospital because she was sick.
My son is overly affectionate; he throws himself too fast into relationships and they often don’t last because of it.
My daughter is the opposite of him and she lacks any affection; she won’t kiss or hug her girlfriend, even holding hands in public is off the table and I’d think maybe she’s worried about homophobia if she wasn’t like it with everyone else.
She’s been dating a girl for the past year but unfortunately this girl cheated on her.
Unlike her brother, who when he got cheated on spent a month in bed crying, she’s seemed to move on instantly and doesn’t seem upset but then she asked me why I thought her girlfriend cheated on her and I told her the reason above, people like affection and feeling like they’re special and she didn’t do that.
Now she’s refusing to talk to me, not unusual for her because and I quote “talking is unnecessary” (she rarely talks) for her but my husband is extremely angry at me for not just comforting her, I told her the truth as she asked for it. ###### | YTA
It sounds like both your children have been impacted developmentally by their upbringing. What did you do after when you noticed their behavior was so extreme? Did you get them into therapy to work through the emotional neglect they felt as young children?
You basically said who she is as a person means she's not worthy of someone's love and she has to change. Why didn't you phrase it as she's not finding a partner with similar values and love language? That's more productive. Or better yet tell her you fucked up and didn't give her basic life skills as a child to form proper relationships. Also, get the ice cream out and two spoons and call the ex a monster and no matter what nothing she did caused this.
Don't attack your children for issues you created by being absent. Don't judge your daughter for lack of emotional response. If you grew up not getting affection when you were hurt you might just withdraw and not show it. Or you might cry in your room for a month hoping eventually the other person cracks and gives you what you need. ###### |
My daughter in law, Katy, is currently 37 weeks pregnant with my first grandchild, a baby girl. I really love Katy, her and my son have been together about 6 years now and I have a good relationship with her, but we’ve recently come to a head on this discussion.
Due to COVID, the hospital Katy plans on delivering her baby in has a one birthing partner limit, and instead of choosing my son, she chose her mother. My son claims that they had a discussion about it and he was okay with it, but I think it’s completely inconsiderate of Katy to deprive my son of this incredible experience. Sure, her mother is her support system, but so is my son. Katy is also an extremely insecure girl, and has said she doesn’t want my son seeing her in that much pain and discomfort, which having 3 babies myself I do understand, but I do not think it’s good enough reason to not let my son see his baby being born, it’s his baby just as much as hers.
They come round to my house for dinner once a week, usually on a Wednesday, so last night. My son got up to go to the bathroom so I decided to have a quick word with Katy. I wasn’t pushy, I just suggested that she should have my son in the delivery room instead of her mother as it was his right to be there. She said they’d agreed between themselves that it was okay, but I know my son and I just can’t imagine him being okay with that. I asked her why she didn’t want my son in the room and she explained why, her insecurities etc, and I told her she was being idiotic. For someone soon to be a mother she sure is childish.
She shouted for my son and my son was furious at me, telling me that he was okay with whatever Katy wanted and that he’d only be sitting outside, he’d get to see his daughter straight away. I said that wasn’t good enough and he said that if I kept this up I wouldn’t be seeing my granddaughter at all which is just ludicrous. AITA? ###### | YTA
It is absolutely not your place to have a say in this. You will soon find yourself on r/JUSTNOMIL (if you're the MIL, you could be DIL too)
It's Katys baby ( and your sons), Katys body, Katys birth and even your son is fully onboard and supportive of her choice. ###### |
I am a 35(f) married to a 38(m). We are both the sort of people that like cartoons and other fun stuff, but not to an overwhelming degree. We will both watch cartoons from our childhood together from time to time, and we both like adult animated shows (such as Rick and Morty or Bob’s Burgers). We also both have Knick knacks from various fandoms, but once again not a lot. Just the occasional thing we think is cute or funny.
Today my husband texted me, excited. He bought a bunch of G.I. Joe figurines from EBay and plans to play with them in our living room. He has mentioned this to me before, and I didn’t really react. He took that as me embracing the idea. I have asked him what he means by play, and he just shrugs. I’m more than okay with him displaying figurines, but this goes a little to far. He also has owns the whole cartoon series’s on DVD and watches them regularly. I can’t stand the TV show, but I sincerely believe it is because I have sensory issues. Honestly, Cobra Commanders voice should be used on loop to torture people. Also why the fuck was a wolf using a push cart to save someone in one episode?! So for obvious reasons I don’t factor the watching of the show in to this, I just wrote this in to provide context.
Basically am I the asshole for being uncomfortable with my husband playing with toys? ###### | YTA
Is he enjoying it? Yep.
Is it hurting you at all? Nope.
Let the man have his nostalgia and joy. ###### |
My daughter (16f) is really introverted, and doesn't really play any sports, so my husband and I decided to fill up her schedule with afterschool activities every day. She has robotics two days a week, tennis practice three days a week, and band practice for two days a week. She was strongly against it, but went along with it at first. After going through a week of school, she expressed that she wants to drop every single one of those afterschool activities. I told her that she could either drop robotics or band, but she got really angry and said that she wasn't going to spend hours every week on activities she hates. When I mentioned that she wasn't really outgoing, and wouldn't do anything productive if it were up to her, she yelled at me, and called me a "b\*tch". For that, I told her that I wouldn't let her drop anything for at least the next month, and if she gave me any more sass, she wouldn't be allowed to drop any of the activities until the school year was over. She stormed off to her room, but I don't really think I was 'being a b\*tch', but she might have been right.
AITA? ###### | YTA
Introverts need alone time to recharge. You overscheduling her like this means she doesn't have enough free time to recover, and you are adding A LOT of unnecessary stress to her daily life. ###### |
I (30M) have been dating my girlfriend Jean (21F) for about a year now. Part of what I love about her most is that she is so supportive of me.
I'm stuck in a dead end job, really unhappy with where I am in life currently so getting to hear her talk me up and tell me how awesome I'm doing is probably one of the few things that actually gets me through the day. When she tells me I'm great, I call those 'power words' cause knowing someone as hot, successful, and cool as she is thinks I'm doing good really gets me fired up.
Recently, we got together with a zoom meeting with some of our friends. One of our friends, Trish, was mentioning that she was nervous for a driving exam, so Jean was trying to reassure her. Which would be fine, except she used the exact phrasing she uses when she's powering me up. I got really upset and stayed quiet for the rest of the movie. When she asked me what was wrong, I told her the truth.
I feel like she shouldn't be wasting my power words on other people. I need them most and when she says things like oh, I think you're the most incredible guy ever!, and then goes and tells her friend that she thinks she's incredible, that's really disheartening. It makes me feel like nothing she says is real. I've got a big project at work coming up soon and now I can't get hyped because I know whatever she tells me is meaningless.
I've really hurt her feelings by saying her platitudes were meaningless but I just feel betrayed. AITA? ###### | YTA
Imagine wanting a supportive person to stop being supportive of other people because you think there's a finite amount of supportive things she's allowed to say. ###### |
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
So my fiance (30F) and I (26F) were discussing baby names for our future children. She has no interest in carrying a baby to term, so I would/will be carrying any children we have. As we were discussing names, I asked if she'd be cool with the idea of passing on my name to my child (ex: Charles Lincoln Neal II, but a female name).
She didn't like the idea. In fact, she said she would be okay with it, but only if she got to do the same with our second child.
I said I didn't like that. I feel she's only suggesting that because she doesn't like the naming idea I came up with and is trying to dissuade me. She thinks it's only fair, which I also disagree with, considering I'm the one who would be carrying the kids. AITA? ###### | YTA
if you are gonna start the whole "I carried the child so I have more of a say"-dispute you guys better think twice about having that kid
no offence but I think that's an important discussion to have *before* having the child ###### |
My BIL and SIL were going camping with their kids and invited my 8 year old son to join them. I was a little hesitant because we have very different parenting styles, but i decided to let him go. He was excited and then SIL casually mentioned that she had invited MIL and her new boyfriend. I have two major issues with this.
First of all they are cheaters. They were both married when they met and they had an affair, decided they were "in love" and then dragged it out so they could hide assets, gather info on their spouses, and screw them in the divorce. MIL admitted to me that she transferred her business to her father so that her ex couldn't get any of it. In her defense he was an alcoholic and he majorly sucks, but I don't know anything about her new boyfriend's wife.
Second, i googled her new boyfriend because I'm a little bit of a helicopter parent and I google anyone who is going to be around my son. He is a mega successful attorney, the type that likes to screw people for money. One of the first articles that came up about him was him getting someone clearly guilty off of the hook. I understand it is his job, but i don't respect it.
I said my son can't go if they are going. BIL called me exhausting and my son is pissed, but i don't want him around gross people. ###### | YTA
I'm confused, is your MiL going to embezzle the 8 year old's smores money? Is her husband going to be bringing his dirtbag clients? Are they going to spend the weekend telling him how cool being evil is? Or are the kids going to spend 3 days hanging out with each other in the woods eating smores and "hiking" 10 minutes away from the campsite while the adults hang out? (Also, btw, cheating on an objectively terrible person by the sounds of it and then doing your best to hide your assets from him so you don't get screwed in the divorce is hardly as disdainful as you're making it out to be) ###### |
My (26f) little sister (23f) has always been very experimental with her hair, starting with hot pink at age 11 and progressing from there. She had been mentioning wanting to bleach her hair so she could go light purple. She wanted to get her hair bleached professionally, and she would do the purple herself. But then COVID hit, and she wasn’t able to make an appointment to go in.
Now, I have a friend who does hair, and while I admittedly hadn’t thought about doing my hair this color until my little sister kept mentioning it, I also wanted to be brave like my little sister always had been, and I asked my friend to do my hair.
My little sister is livid. She can’t believe I would ‘steal’ her idea, and she said she was sorry I never had the confidence to do stuff like this, but I could have at least gone for a darker shade of purple. She did say all of this very calmly, but she felt the need to remind me that she was constantly compared to me growing up, and her personal style was developed to help at least make the ‘disappointment’ intentional, and while it may be silly that she is so upset, as the ‘favored’ older sister, I wouldn’t understand.
My mom says she’s just overreacting and being childish, but I’m starting to think my mom ‘always being on my side’ has added to my little sisters frustration.
TLDR: Little sister feels like I’m trying to creep in on her style, when she’s always been the ‘alternative’ one, and I’ve always been the more mainstream one. ###### | YTA
I'm an oldest sister and my little sis is 2 yrs younger than me.
She has always had so much more bravery with her style than I ever had. I'm the mainstream one too.
I copied ny sis all the time when she did cool ass shit that I was always to afraid to try. And my sis would get pissed too but she never put it like that.
And now I'm 29, texting my sister an apology because your sister made me understand something my sister could never verbalize.
Apologize to your sister and ask her how you can make things right. Though if you like the hair color, I'd tell her that and ask if maybe she would be okay with you keeping it and you hooking her up with your friend so you guys could rock it together for a few months or something. Or maybe your friend could help her with another color for now or something. Something to make it right after you alologize and validate her feelings.
And I'd tell her how much she inspires you to be bolder and would love her help in maybe selecting a new color specifically for you to try, or a new piece of clothing. It could be a fun way for you to branch out, bond with your sister, and show her that even though she was always compared to you - you still look up to her as well and that you see her individualism as an asset that you admire not as a way to beat everyone to the punch in disappointment.
But that's just my 2 cents as an older sis. <3 ###### |
I have a stepdaughter who i have never gotten along with . There is only a three year age difference, so I'm not entirely blaming her, but i think my husband did a shitty job raising her. She is just not nice, and not just to me, but she is rude to wait staff, entitled, something of a mean girl. She has always made snide comments about our age difference and me being a gold digger because I quit my job. I told her once as an April Fool's joke that her dad was leaving me everything in the will, and she didn't even respond to me, she just tattled to daddy.
She graduated in May with a PhD, and before she realized that she wasn't going to have a graduation because of what's going on right now, she made a big deal of announcing to everyone that I wasn't invited. My husband told me to just deal with it, because it is her graduation.
She came over the other night with her boyfriend of three years (she's 26 and he is 38, important later) and announced that they are getting married. Honestly I was kind of pissed off. My husband is wealthy, but her boyfriend is legit rich, so she is doing exactly what I did, marrying a man with a large age gap, and marrying a man with a lot of money. I'm not saying that she doesn't love him, but I think she is a huge hypocrite to not acknowledge that just maybe i love her dad.
I told her that was kind of hypocritical and ironic and she just rolled her eyes, but after the fact my husband got mad and said I was trying to steal her spotlight and make her engagement about me, but he is always super defensive about her. ###### | YTA
I was gonna say that's an immature thing to do, but given you are barely older than her AND immature, it's kinda overkill.
>Honestly I was kind of pissed off. My husband is wealthy, but her boyfriend is legit rich, so she is doing exactly what I did, marrying a man with a large age gap, and marrying a man with a lot of money.
You are the hypocrite here.
>There is only a three year age difference, so I'm not entirely blaming her
The fact that you are blaming her at all is kinda meh aswell. How would you feel if your father or mother had a partner only 3 years older than you? ###### |
I’m really into this game, Europa Universalis 4. Basically you play as a country. My wife also recently got into it.
When I play against someone, I’m obviously going to destroy them. Absolutely.
That’s what I did. I absolutely wrecked my wife’s Empire, the Ottomans as Austria. Through a couple wars, I eventually made her my vassal and have a single province. So, basically she can’t do anything, but she’s still alive. She called me an asshole for slowly killing her, instead of a quick and painless death.
So, AITA? ###### | YTA
I play EUIV. you don't have to target her empire at all. you don't have to compete. you can each manage your empire, and you can even work together. in fact, in all the times I've played EUIV multiplayer, it's never even occurred to me to NOT co-op it with my friends.
it's weird that this didn't even occur to you and that you took a game that both you and your wife are into and made it into a competition instead of a game you could both have fun in together. ###### |
I 20(f) have decided to live child free. I used to be really Close I’m older sister but once she had kids I cut back on the time we spent together. At one point I made it truly clear I can’t be around kids at all. My sisters husband is rich like really rich. So because of the pandemic he decided to rent a yacht for two weeks. Now the whole family is going he’s even allowing so family to bring a friend or two. So I call my sister to see what weeks it is so I can make sure I off for those days. My sister told me that she didn’t invite me because she was sure I would decline like all the other times. I been invited to theme parks but didn’t go because of the kids. I called my mom and dad and they both sided with my sister. The only people on my side is my friends. So am I aita for regretting telling my sister I can’t be around her kids? ###### | YTA
I have a friend that doesn't like kids, at *all*. Like, seriously doesn't like kids, won't pretend to, won't humor them because they're kids, doesn't want to be around kids. She's never mean, just doesn't ooh and aah over their drawings or think they're cute when they say something, or want to be around them ever. She's not an asshole about it though. She's honest about it and doesn't go places where she has to interact with kids, even when it's something she'd otherwise enjoy, she won't go because the kids being there would annoy her to the point she wouldn't enjoy it.
YTA because it sounds like you only don't want to be around kids when it's something you wouldn't do anyway and suddenly kids are tolerable if it's something you'd like to do.
If you truly don't like being around children, why do you think it's a good idea to be trapped on a boat with them?
Also, you've distanced yourself from your sister on purpose, and now you expect her to forget all that because she's doing something fun?
People aren't just characters in your story. If you sideline someone long enough, they're going to notice and back away from you as well. It's funny how many people don't get this and act like it's the other person who is suddenly distant when all they've done is return what you gave them. ###### |
Hi this is my first post, and I’m posting from my cellphone sorry for the format.
Okay so my(24f) sister (28f) she is married, live with her husband and they just had a baby.
She is breastfeeding and I am okay with that but the problem is that she wear reveling clothes just because it’s easier to feed her baby with less clothes on but sometimes we go to visit (my mom, my dad and my boyfriend) also her MIL and her FIL go to her house and since she wear a lot of dresses and jumpers or shorts if she need to pick something from the floor or pick the baby up from the special rocking chair they have ( she really needs to bend over because the chair it’s almost on the floor) she just flash everyone on the room, and I have notice that her FIL, my dad and my boyfriend get uncomfortable and they don’t know where to look.
I really understand that is her home and she can wear whatever she wants but if she is making her family uncomfortable I think she could be a little more discreet on the way she dresses or change the way she bend over maybe
Even today we where at her house and she wanted to take a shower but she just changed and put on a bathrobe and her MIL told her to go upstairs because people where coming over and she didn’t care, but you could see that she wasn’t wearing anything under the robe, and everyone was uncomfortable
WIBTA if I ask her to dress more discreet if there is going to be people coming over her house?
Sorry for the bad english. ###### | YTA
I don't know where people get the balls to tell someone how to dress in their own home, but I'd be taking off more clothes. ###### |
Me and her are whatever in terms of a relationship. Sometimes I can stand her and sometimes I can't. We share a kid so I try my best.
My place was near to a doctor's appointment she had that morning so she figured she would Just grab stuff at my place that she keeps forgetting. Two birds with one stone. I was alright with it. Left my door unlocked, while I was at work. and she would just lock when she leaves. So she text me that she's done with her appointment and tells me she heading to my apartment. Psh whatever just said ok. Useless text, already got confirmation. No text at all saying anything about an Xbox later.
When I get home from work, first of all my Kitchen light is on, annoyed by that and then I go to my room, throw off my pants and about to hop on the game. I look down and it's lying on the ground. I was like wtf. I turn it on, making clunking nosies. It works but the sound is horrendous. Mind you, I have hardwood floors, so that didn't help.
I text her what happened earlier in my room about my Xbox. She doesn't know, told her to cut the BS. She asked our son and after a couple times of being Stern, he finally said he tripped over a cord it dropped. I don't even know why he was in my room anyways. My door stays closed. She must of been trying to sneaky and look through my stuff but who knows.
So I told her she has to pay for a new one it since she was "supposed" to be watching him. I was pissed about it. Some days I just wanna go home relax and play the game. tells me too "(my name) relax it was an accident and didn't you just go on vacation? I'm sure you have enough". An Xbox might be only $200 but I ain't break it. ###### | YTA
He's your kid! It's not like a friend went over and let their kid wander around in your house. Yes, she was watching him, but he's still your kid!
You said you generally *try your best* with her, but you added extra detail just so we'd all know how irritating you found her. *Oh no, she gave you a heads up that she was headed to your place! What a dick move!*
You accused her of sneaking around and lying about the Xbox, but couldn't it be possible that your son wandered in there when she was gathering her stuff, because he's a kid and he's curious? She probably didn't know he tripped over the cord because he was probably scared to tell you both because he knew he'd be in trouble. If he's old enough to explain that he tripped over a cord, he's old enough to wander off and open a door.
Everything about what you typed seems antagonistic towards her, and seems to assume that she intentionally created the circumstance. Like she maliciously sent your kid in there to wreck stuff.
Kids break your stuff. If you don't want your kids to possibly break your stuff, don't have kids! Or make sure that you keep you breakable stuff where a kid that age can't ever get to it. ###### |
My brother just turned 25 so we had a small family gathering to celebrate on Labor Day. It was just me (27F), my husband (27M), my mom and step dad, and my brother (25M) and his girlfriend.
My husband and I brought a yard game to teach everyone, and we decided to do a little tournament. When I was playing against my brother, there was a rule dispute. Without getting into too much detail about the game, basically it was my point but he didn't agree.
So he wanted to call my husband over to tell us if that was the rule or not. And I reminded him that I've been playing this game as long as my husband has and that I know the rules. He insisted on hearing it from my husband. His girlfriend even said she was pretty sure my husband had clarified that rule earlier, but he still wanted to hear it from my husband's mouth.
So at this point I got really frustrated because he refused to listen to me/us and insisted on calling my husband over to confirm the rule. I know I shouldn't have, but I said "Why do you need to hear it from [husband]? Because he has a penis?"
And that really pissed him off to the point where he started calling me sexist and saying that I hate all men and "Sorry I have a PENIS" etc. After a minute or so of that he told his girlfriend "we're fucking leaving" and they left, meaning the party was over.
I was in tears at this point, and I still feel like I ruined the whole day for everyone and I should have just kept my mouth shut. I know better because he can be very sensitive and will storm off during family gatherings somewhat frequently. I just couldn't understand why he refused to accept the rule from me and insisted on hearing it from my husband instead, and i lost my cool.
So I feel like an asshole, but AITA? ###### | YTA
He probably wanted to hear the rule from someone who is rather neutral (not you) and who isn't new to the game (not his girlfriend), so that leaves only your husband.
But you jumped straight to sexism. ###### |
I'm not sure why I'm so disappointed. I think it's because whenever I used to think about my wife being pregnant I imagined her with an adorable big bump, really glowing and looking pregnant.
She just passed 32 weeks and it's so small, which is kind of surprising because I'm a big guy. She is very petite but I still expected our baby to big bigger than this. If she wears an oversized shirt and poses right you can barely tell she's pregnant. You can't tell at all from behind.
Lately she has been complaining because she feels so "big" and I commented without really thinking that she was so tiny compared to a lot of other pregnant women I've seen. She didn't believe me and thought I was trying to be nice and reassure her, and I said that actually I felt disappointed because of how small she was.
I'm not sure why she got upset. If I had said she was big or getting huge I could see. She acts like me saying she is tiny and barely looks pregnant is some sort of commentary on how well she is growing our baby, but that's not the case at all. I feel like most women would be thrilled if their partner said they were so small. But apparently I am the asshole? ###### | YTA
Generally probably not a good idea to tell the woman carrying your child that you're disappointed with how her body looks. ###### |
This happened last year but my girlfriend is mad at me now for it. Last year we had our Freshers week at university, it's a week known for drinking and debauchery. One one of the night me and the guys decided to have a "pull a pig" night where you try and kiss a larger chick. There are some real rotters at my uni so it was quite easy and funny to see who could get with the worst girls. We did prizes for the ugliest and the fattest. I told my gf about it and she freaked out and won't talk to me. I explained that it was just a laugh with the boys and that it was good for these girls self esteem as they can have a chance at getting with the football players etc. We all promised that wed never say anything to the girls and they'd never find out too. So Reddit AITA? ###### | YTA
Either you're a troll, or you're a disrespectful, arrogant, superficial jerk who's getting off on playing with peoples' feelings. ###### |
Throwaway because I don't want this tied to my main.
My girlfriend is a talented musician. She plays multiple instruments and has an angelic voice. She's dedicated her life to this excruciating task, and it's truly paid off.
My sister has 2 boys, a 10 year-old and a 8 year old. They are extremely active and love running around, which usually ends in a mess being created. The boys adore my girlfriend, they love everything about her, which I find very cute. The boys came to stay with me for a day when my sister and my girlfriend were out of town (separately.)
The 10 year old is learning the violin and he insists on playing like my girlfriend. I thought it would be harmless to bring out my girlfriend's violin for him to play something, and to calm his hyper-active self down. Granted, it was slightly too big for him, but he was plucking the strings and seemed to know how to use it. I had to dash out for a emergency (I was just next door) and when I returned after an hour, her bow was almost completely frayed. I took the violin away and scolded both of them.
My girlfriend came back home to a frayed bow. She was understandably upset, and to my surprise, even more upset when I told her the entire story. She asked me if I would like to pay for the repair (or replacement) of the violin bow. I thought that my sister would have to chalk up the fees because it was her kids (my nephews) who caused the damage in the first place. My girlfriend disagreed and defended my sister not paying the fees when I prompted her to. I keep refusing every time she asks. I'm not stopping from practicing either, she has a spare bow.
Am I really the AH? I shouldn't be faulted for someone else's kids problems. ###### | YTA
Dude, you are the only one that put the instrument and bow in a child’s hand. You are completely to blame
One redditor mentioned how pricey the bow could be. I suspect that’s why he really doesn’t want to pay ###### |
My friend is deciding between two offices of the same company. One is in San Fransisco, and the other is in New York.
Instead of considering factors such as career progression, cost of living, social scene, etc.... he literally said he’s choosing the New York office simply because they have a much more traditional business professional dress code compared to the San Fransisco office which it’s common to wear jeans at.
I told him he’s being idiotic for choosing for solely that reason, and now he’s all angry at me.
AITA? ###### | YTA
Dress code is top 3 reasons I will turn down a job. I have worked places with unflattering polos, uncomfortable dress codes, and I hate it. I absolutely hate having to wear uncomfortable clothes all day because someone thinks it will look good. I've turned down jobs that would require me to wear something that I hated the look of. And while there was a time in which I didn't have the ability to be picky, if I was allowed to choose what to wear every day I would be much happier at work. ###### |
Yesterday I was supposed to spend the night at my friends house with some of my classmates and we were playing truth or dare. There really is no reason for us to choose truth since we already know a lot about each other so we mostly went just with dares. It was pretty fun and we had some weird challenges.
I was staying next to my friends brother and when it was my turn a classmate challenged me to kiss him. His sister immediately told my friend to change the dare and so she did. To be clear, her brother did not say anything when he heard the dare and just laughed so he definitely looked like he was ok with it right? Well WRONG because after I kissed him he told me wtf I am doing and looked like he was really grossed out by it. I was honestly a bit offended and asked him why he is so grossed by me kissing him, I am actually a pretty ok looking girl and even if I wasn’t, there was no reason for him to act like this. He ended up leaving the game and my friend told me that what I did was wrong on so many levels and to get out of her house. My other classmates didn’t say anything so I think they were on my side but didn’t want to participate in this argument (I will ask them when they go back home). Anyways I did end up leaving. Do you guys think I was the asshole here?
Please do NOT comment yet, read this:
Ok I don’t know how to explain this without being misunderstood but could you guys do me a small favor? I used a throwaway account for privacy reasons but the thing is, if this post blows up, there is a high chance for my friend to still see this. Could you please instead of commenting, DM me if your judgement is ‘YTA’? I promise if I get a lot of YTA dms I am going to ACCEPT the judgement as per rule 3 but it’s just weird if my friend sees this and sees ‘YTA’ comments especially after our last argument, you guys get what I mean right? Thank you. ###### | YTA
Don't post on public forums if you don't want the responses to be public
Also maybe he felt uncomfortable speaking up. Ever heard laughing nervously? ###### |
Okay so first of all, yes my username is a joke, and no, I’m not Chinese.
Anyway, I (28M) am going to get married to my fiancée (28F) once covid is all over. Recently, I got one of those AncestryDNA/23AndMe DNA tests to find out all about my genetic ancestral history.
I’m an super curious about what my future wife’s history is so that when he have children, I know what they will be racially, so I asked my fiancée if she could do it was well. She didn’t want to. I don’t really understand why, but she doesn’t want to.
I have been pushing her to do it so that we can know about our future children’s make up, but she refused to. Am I the asshole for continuing to push for it? ###### | YTA
Don't force people to do what they are uncomfortable with, you don't have the right. ###### |
(Posted on behalf of someone who doesn’t have reddit - I’ve been discussing this all day with her)
My (57 F) daughter (32) recently gave birth and called and let me know hours after the birth. I was the first person she told but I think it’s strange she didn’t ring me immediately. She didn’t have a long labour and was out of hospital very quickly.
I then hinted very obviously that I’d like to see the baby by asking if she wanted anything and I would come and drop it off but she said she was fine. I feel like she should invite me to come over. I won’t hold the baby or come inside because of COVID but I would like to wave through the window. It’s also awkward when my friends ask if I’ve seen the baby yet and I have to say no.
AITA for being angry and upset with my daughter about this and trying to get my family to understand my point of view
Edit- Op here, after I said as gently as possible that she ran the risk of making her daughter think she was making it about her, she got very defensive and asked why I’m never on her side. She’s still convinced that her daughter is in the wrong and I’m not sure if it’s even possible to get through to her at this point. Thanks for all the comments, was beginning to feel guilty for not supporting her. ###### | YTA
Did you want her to call you the second the baby's head popped out? I would say a couple of hours later is more than acceptable. Give the mother a chance to clean up and get acquainted with her baby first!
Have you actually told your daughter you would like to visit? Did you explain to her that you just want to wave through the window? Or have you just passively hinted and expected her to read your mind?
Do you have the sort of relationship with your daughter that she can trust you'll stay outside and won't try to guilt her into letting you in?
Your daughter just had a baby. Back off a bit. It's not all about you, grandma. ###### |
I (24 M) was playing Risk (online, so other people were not involved) with a friend (24 M) that we will call David. It was David’s first time playing so he asked me for advice on what he should do. I told him he should fortify his troops on China.
David: “What should I do?”
Me: “You should place your people on China”
David: “Where?”
Me: “On China”
David then hesitated for a couple seconds
Me: “What’s wrong, just place them on China so you won’t lose it”
David: “Where’s China?”
Me: “Where the real China would be”
David: “I don’t know where China is”
(I then thought he was just confused since the China on Risk’s map isn’t the same outline as a China today)
Me: “It’s the only one in Asia that you can place your troops in”
David: “I don’t know where that is”
Me: “Do you really not know where China is?” (I said it in a very shocked tone)
David: “No”
Me: “Like just on this map or in real life”
David: “I’m not good at geography, China isn’t something everyone knows about”
Me: “How do you not know where China is? It was literally the only thing being talked about when Corona started. It’s like elementary school geography”
That’s when I then pulled up a picture of a map and circled it for him. He then was quiet for the rest of the night and said I shouldn’t make him feel stupid. He’s upset with me and said it was unnecessary. I just was genuinely shocked as China’s location is common knowledge. Also if we are going to play a game based on a real map he should at least know where I was talking about. I never talked in a condescending way, but I definitely spoke with a shocked tone. AITA? ###### | YTA
But only moderately. Showing it to him on the map? Not a bad thing to do. Repeating the question, and hammering the point home when he made it clear he legitimately didn't know where it was however, that was a dick move. I'd recommend apologizing to him. From the sound of things he's aware this is a shortcoming of his and is insecure about it, and while you didn't mean to you *did* hurt him. ###### |
My friend draws art in her spare time and frequently does commissions. I asked her if she could draw something for me and she charged the standard price, which I found a bit steep. I asked if she could just count this as doing a favor for a friend and do it for free and she laughed and called me cheap as a joke.
I did feel a bit hurt by it and I ended up paying the price she asked for but I just want to know if it was unreasonable for me to have asked her for a free commission. ###### | YTA
Art takes time, and time is money. There is nothing wrong with asking for a discounted price, or if they can do it for free (I guess) but you aren't entitled to it. ###### |
Cast: Me - Assistant manger of a restaurant
Ray (37) - Store manager, kind of creepy
Kelly(18)- Fresh out of high school hostess, very shy, scatter brain
Joe - District manager
Ray has had a history with female workers. nothing that has gotten him in any trouble or had anybody quit, just remarks on appearances, flashes them smiles, ect. It's creepy but everyone has let it slide.
than we hire Kelly, who is a very, very shy girl but very nice. Ray develops something for her and wouldn't stop persisting. she's made up a lot of excuses to let him down easy (not wanting to date, focus on school, being his employee) but he kept it up and up. she confined in me it was making her uncomfortable. she did go to HR but only Joe stopped by and saw nothing questionable at that time.
I noticed after that kelly's feelings shifted. she wasn't really flirty but more open to ray's advance. I pull her aside and ask her what the hell was up, she explains since HR wasn't helping and she knew ray would slash her hours if she didn't go along with it, she was looking for a new job but playing along with things because she needed the money to care for her disabled dad. yeah okay.
Me and the other workers are obviously getting pissed so I finally go to Joe and explain there's something going on between ray and kelly and one of them needed to go. they decide to transfer kelly to another store 40ish minutes away. she had a breakdown, crying how she couldn't do it because of the commute and she needed to stay or else she didn't know how to pay for her and dad's living expenses. she came up to me later, asked me why I manipulated the story like that (I don't see how) and now everyone thinks she's a slut and no one helped her at all. Was my handling wrong so much I am an asshole? ###### | YTA
Absolutely.
You should have told HR that Ray was behaving inappropriately and that she felt compelled to go along with it in order to keep her hours. Instead you told them they were both at fault and unsurprisingly they punished the more vulnerable, disposable employee.
Furthermore, she didn't ask for your help. If you wanted to help, you could have talked to her, gone to HR with the other employees as a team, etc. But no - you threw her under the bus.
Super duper shitty. ###### |
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