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I have two children who are 21 and 19. My wife did not enjoy being a mother, but in my opinion she was a pretty great one. She did everything she had to and went above and beyond to make sure our kids got to do activities and have fun childhood memories. She went to therapy for years to try to learn to like being a mother and then to learn to cope with the regret of having children. One therapist told her being a mother was kind of like soccer (she played one season as a kid and hated it) it's just an activity that a lot of people like, but my wife will never be able to force herself to like it. She did need a lot of breaks, time with friends, time with just me, but I know she tried.
My 21 year old daughter has been clashing with her mother since she turned 12. I really think she just enjoys antagonizing her. My kids definitely both view me as their piggy bank and I don't mind. I'm happy that I'm in a position to give them things. My daughter frequently makes comments about what sort of woman has kids and doesn't want them. The only reason my kids have even an inkling of how their mother felt is because she used to lock herself in the bathroom and cry. They have never been told she did not want them and what annoys me the most is my daughter wants to be a therapist. She should have more sympathy for someone who got so overwhelmed she had to go and cry in the bathroom.
I've asked my daughter why she brings it up and if it hurts her. She said she just thinks it's funny, but it really upsets my wife. I told my daughter if she keeps antagonizing her mother for no reason I'm going to cut her out of my will. ###### | YTA.
If your wife actively regrets having children and it used to make her cry, then your daughters *definitely* picked up on it no matter how hard she tried. I have a lot of sympathy for your wife because that sounds incredibly difficult, but you're both awful if you won't acknowledge what having a mother like that would do to children. She *raised* them. They'll have picked up on it, and it sounds like your daughter did around 12. That's the kind of thing that you carry around for the rest of your life.
Also, why are you using your will as a tool of control? Instead of, y'know, talking about this very real issue within your family that's apparently been a problem for almost a decade? I feel sorry for your daughter; she has a mum who regrets her being born and a father who just doesn't care. ###### |
I’m 27/F, my hubs is 29/M, and we have three littles 4, 3, and 18 mos.
My cousin (C) is 26/F. She finally got married to her husband last year. She has been telling everyone that she and her hubs have been trying to get pregnant, but they haven't had success. Naturally people are worried for her and concerned, meanwhile she's been on two vacations (not since covid obviously) and bought handbags and furniture.
I asked her about her pregnancy journey, and she told me she hasn't been trying, in fact she had an IUD placed. I was shocked. She said her and her hubs "like their lifestyle" and weren't sure they would ever have kids!
I asked her why LIE to family, and she said that she "wanted them off her back.". I said that's no excuse. Liking her lifestyle is selfish and self centered. I told her to think of someone else for a change and left.
Here's where I might be the asshole. I texted our family that my cousin had an abortion in 2012. I know she did because she had to borrow money from me at the time to stay in a hotel near the center. They are religious so this didn't go over well. I think they need to know the truth about my cousin. My hubs agrees she is selfish but disagrees with the way I presented it. ###### | YTA.
I’m legit took me a few minutes to come up with something to type here bc I don’t know how else to say not only are YTA but you’re just a horrible person in general. Like your whole mindset is fucked.
Shame on you.
Edited to add: I bet a million dollars that when you disclosed your cousin had an abortion, you failed to mention that you financed it. ###### |
My daughter, we'll call her Lily, is 14 and she is in a wheelchair. She made a new friend, Barbara, also 14, earlier in the school year who also uses a wheelchair, and they've become very close. Barbara has, in a way, strained mine and Lily's once very close relationship. She thinks Lily should be able to hang out more outside of school with their other friends, but I can't risk anything happening to my daughter with zero adult supervision, so I've had to say no. Barbara has come to our house several times, before the virus, and I can just tell that she puts things in my daughter's head about me, and I'm not comfortable with it at all, but my husband wants to encourage the friendship.
So, Lily has been talking to Barbara a lot during this isolation period over the phone and internet, and she told me today that she would prefer if I don't call her a special needs child anymore to family, my friends, or basically anyone else. She has never expressed this concern to me before, and I asked her what's wrong with what I've said, and she said that she would prefer to use the term/identify as disabled. Special needs is apparently an old-fashioned and offensive term now.
Now, I know that Barbara must have put some ideas into her head. I don't think special needs is a bad word at all, it's the only way I've ever described Lily, so while I did tell her I would think about it, I don't think I can do it, and only because I feel like she was manipulated into this decision.
My husband thinks I should suck it up and do what our daughter wishes, and Lily has given me the silent treatment since talking to me. I'm very close to letting her know that she is not to talk to Barbara anymore. I feel like that would release a lot of tension, if not right away, definitely in the future. WIBTA? ###### | YTA.
Hi, disabled person here. It is absolutely not your call to decide whether you can call your daughter ‘special needs’ or not. She’s told you she doesn’t like it, so you stop. It’s that simple. The meanings of terms can change, and to be honest I’d also take exception to being called ‘special needs’ in this day and age.
Coddling your daughter because she’s in a wheelchair doesn’t make you a good parent. Let her have her autonomy, or she’s just going to resent you for it. I guarantee she knows her own limits better than you do, what with you NOT being the one in the chair.
You’re using her friend as a scapegoat because you think your daughter being in a chair gives you an excuse to infantilise her. You resent her learning more about / having a friend within the disabled community because you see it as a threat to your control over her. This behaviour is disgustingly common and you need to start making changes NOW before you negatively impact your daughter and your relationship with her any more than you already have done. ###### |
My daughter has been calling her father every day when she’s with me, sometimes for an hour or more. She’s been doing this since around when the pandemic started. It’s very frustrating to me because she never calls me when she’s with her father, and when I call her she only talks for 5 minutes before saying she has to go.
I asked her father to stop accepting her calls daily, and limit it to a couple times per week. He said that he wouldn’t stop answering calls from his daughter, and he’s not the one calling her, she’s calling him. He wants me to tell her to stop calling if I have a problem with it, but obviously I can’t tell her to stop because that will just make her upset with me.
I told him again that it would be polite to limit his contact to a reasonable amount when she’s with me, because I don’t interfere with his time when she’s with him. He got angry and said he wasn’t going to do that and hung up.
I think I’m being very reasonable here, and most 15 year olds don’t talk to their parents voluntarily as much as she talks to him. It’s only fair that when she’s with me she’s actually with me rather than just talking on the phone with him.
AITA? ###### | YTA.
First: Your daughter is 15 and can call whoever she wants. Just because she wants more contact with him doesn’t mean you get to tell your ex to ruin what sounds like a great relationship.
Second: you are so lucky to have someone who is invested in his daughter so much when many single parents (dads and moms) have a hard time getting the other side to commit.
Thirdly: maybe you should look at your relationship and see why she wants to call him more; and maybe have a conversation with her about how you can improve your relationship with her on your own end. ###### |
My son recently accepted a very well regarded school. I have been saving for his schooling for a while, and have enough to cover it. The problem is, my son recently told me he wants to major in English literature.
I asked him a little bit more about this, and I really don’t agree with it. I don’t think it’s fair to me to have saved for so long just to pay for a non-lucrative degree. I told him I would pay for pre for pre-med, pre-law, or economics for finance.
To me, college is an investment, and I don’t think it’s fair to me to pay for such a useless degree.
He’s 18 so I told him we could make a compromise and enter a contract where if he choses one of those paths, I would pay back all loans he takes out.
He’s taking this really hard, and thinks he’s entitled to my financial support.
AITA for this? ###### | YTA.
First, you sprung this on him out of the blue after he worked hard enough to get accepted to a good school.
Second, you dismiss the value of a liberal arts degree based on nothing but your own assumptions. Here in the real world, plenty of people manage to build very lucrative careers despite their "useless" degrees.
It's a shame that you'd rather bend your son to your will - and risk alienating him altogether - by insisting he pursue a field he doesn't want to. ###### |
TL;DR i told my wife she cant associate with a person who just got 10 years probation for possession of heroine.
So today my wife told me about a friend she has had for a long time. This friend i found out just got a 10 year probation sentence for possession of heroine. I told her we will not associate with these kinds of people because CPS could take our kid away if they bring something or leave something illegal in our home.
She was very angry and said that i wasn't there for her when her friend was. (I was there she refused my help and didn't want to come live with me at the time so i stopped asking) I told her if she didn't like it did she want to go live with her friend and ask her friend to help take care of our baby. She did not like my response. I'll give info as needed and i just wanna know if im being too cautious. ###### | YTA.
First of all, you can express your concerns, but you cannot tell her who she can and cannot associate with.
Second, why on Earth would this person come to your house and leave their drugs behind? That's...that's not rational at all. Also, who would be calling CPS if this did happen?
Third, there's no reason this person HAS to come to your house. Your wife could meet them for coffee or lunch.
Fourth, you telling her if she doesn't like it, she can move out is hugely controlling and manipulative.
Fifth, it's "heroin". Heroine is a female hero. ###### |
I live in a house with 3 other girls, it's a tall old Victorian building and an extension was put in on the top floor. This means we have a flat roof that people can lie on, but it involves going on the balcony and climbing up the roof like the balcony.
Me and 2 of the girls have been going up there in turns to get some sunshine and sunbathe. Our other room-mate however is very very obese, I don't know her weight by going off her size it must be around 200lbs or more. She's been wanting to go onto the roof to sunbathe as well but I told her she can't, we don't know how much weight it can support as it's not a proper roof but just a sort of cover over a dormer.
This led to a big argument where I said "You're too obese to go up, we can't risk you breaking the roof". She said "fuck you" and put a foot on the tiling from the balcony which promptly cracked under he foot. She said "fuck you" again and went to her room and now isn't speaking to us.
AITA here? I weigh around 120 lbs ###### | YTA.
First of all, I don’t think ANY of you should be on the roof if there’s a risk of it collapsing. How would it feel if you encouraged any of your friends to go up there, KNOWING that it isn’t secure, and someone got hurt? You’re all toying with each other’s safety. Not cool.
Second, I think you know you’re an AH for the way you spoke to your overweight friend or else you wouldn’t have posted here. It’s hard for me to believe it was purely out of an innocent concern for safety, because again, see point #1. But setting that aside, even if it’s objectively true that her being up there might cause a collapse (which...again... is a serious concern regarding ALL of you, not just her), you apparently displayed zero tact in communicating your concern to her. If she’s your friend, you should be more concerned about keeping your friendship on good terms than seeking permission from this sub to not apologize for being rude to her. ###### |
So I like this girl and today I found out that she has been single for 2 years. Now obviously I know I’m not the asshole for asking her the question but perhaps I said it wrong.
Basically I find it weird she’s single because she’s really pretty and lots of guys on campus like her and she’s also really nice and humble. She also has like a cool job. Something must be wrong with her to be single for that long that I just don’t know about. Because if nothing was wrong with you then you’d be in a relationship. I’m wondering what it is about her warding off men before I make my move cause I don’t want to get stuck with someone crazy. So I’m justified to ask her “why are you single?” She goes “what do you mean?” “Well you’ve been single for a while now and I’m just wondering why like it doesn’t make sense.” “Uh well I mean I don’t know I guess I haven’t just met someone I like...” and I go “oh ok” but I was not very convinced cause it seems like a basic answer so I was like “it’s just you’re so pretty and nice I can’t imagine why some guy hasn’t taken you yet...” “oh well I don’t know to be honest but thank you.” Then I kinda looked at her and she goes “I don’t really like to talk about it.” And I asked her why and she goes “well it’s personal...” and I said “there must be a reason but ok” and she goes “ok fine it’s cause I was in an abusive relationship two years ago and just haven’t been ready to put myself out there again until I met you but to be honest I don’t think so anymore.”
AITA? Cause I thought I worded it in a way that was a compliment or to make her flattered but she got offended. I’m 24 and she’s 22. ###### | YTA.
>Now obviously I know I’m not the asshole for asking her the question but perhaps I said it wrong.
What?! Yes! Yes, you *are* the asshole for asking her the question...there's no right or wrong way to phrase it. ###### |
I can't believe this trivial issue has exploded into a huge right but here goes. I've been cooking at home almost every meal for the last month. Cooking makes a lot of dishes. I have told my boyfriend several times that he needs to do the dishes since I'm coming the food. Ordering out isn't an option and we need to eat so he needs to share the burden even though he can't cook.
Well earlier today I actually saw my boyfriend doing the dishes after I made lunch. Instinctively I thanked him for doing the dishes but then I remembered that is his responsibility and reminded him of how unfair it was to me for him not to do the dishes every day. I told him I take back my thanks and he should be doing more without me asking.
My boyfriend is now very upset at me and insists that I need to stop "nagging" (typical...) him while he's doing housework but if he was doing it regularly from the start I wouldn't have had to say anything. Am the asshole? ###### | YTA.
> Instinctively I thanked him for doing the dishes but then I remembered that is his responsibility and reminded him of how unfair it was to me for him not to do the dishes every day. I told him I take back my thanks and he should be doing more without me asking.
So, to be clear:
* Boyfriend does not do dishes. This is problem. Boyfriend is told to start making effort to do dishes without being asked.
* Boyfriend starts making effort to do dishes without being asked.
* Boyfriend is thanked for doing it, then the thanks is taken back, then boyfriend is scolded for having not previously done the thing they were currently doing.
Are you serious with this shit? It would be one thing if he had nastily demanded a "thanks," and I'm not commenting on the larger problem with the dish workload here - but good lord, you just **had** to pick a fight there, didn't you? You're the one who said "thanks" and then you took it back?
In what world aren't you thankful for a partner that hears your concerns and makes an effort to address them? ###### |
So, due to current events (I won’t say what because I don’t want to be filtered out), the “family group chat” was having a discussion about the apocalypse and what we’d do if it happened. We were all having a good time, just talking about who in the family would be on the apocalypse team, who would be the weak link, etc.
My wife’s sister was making fun of her brother, saying that she wouldn’t want him on her team and he’s useless! And if they were the last people on Earth humanity was obviously done for. Note here, my wife’s sister is adopted. I made what I thought was a funny quip, saying she would repopulate the Earth with him no problem, and he wasn’t so useless after all. I know this was a mistake, the chat went dead silent, I know I shouldn’t have said it. I apologized immediately and said it was just a joke but I knew it was uncool. I thought that this was enough, I didn’t mean anything harmful by it.
My wife stormed into the room and started yelling about how much of an idiot I am and how embarrassing I am. She yelled at me for so long, brought up so much stuff and not just this. It went on so long that she took a break to have a snack and take a nap, got up, and started yelling and screaming at me again. I know I made a mistake making the comment but I feel she’s being the asshole too for totally overreacting to the comment. It’s like I’m living in a house with a demon, whenever I see her she’s on this shit again about how gross and embarrassing I am, she can’t trust me with her family, her sister is so upset, etc etc.
AITA or is she/everyone else (maybe) for overreacting? ###### | YTA.
You're wife is right- you are very embarrassing. And gross. Nothing like singling out her adopted sister by saying she could have sex with her brother. *In a family group chat no less*. Yikes, dude. You have two left feet and they're both in your mouth. ###### |
2 months ago, my wife and I made 3 years of being happily married together. My wife expected me to surprise her with something nice like I did last year but unfortunately I was really busy that day (I had to work a lot more than usual) which upset her and she ended up going out with some friends. After I finished work, I called a friend of mine and asked her if she would like to grab a coffee, we talked more than I expected and I ended up coming home late and missed all my wife phone calls. She asked me where I have been and I told her that I went out with a friend because I didn’t want to bother her since she was out with her group of friends. My wife got furious and told me she can’t believe I cancelled our anniversary just to hang out with another girl. I explained to her that it was her who cancelled it because she went out with her friends. She calmed down some days later but to this day she is still acting extremely cold with me. Did I do something wrong? ###### | YTA.
How did you have no time to celebrate your anniversary with your wife, but then had time to go hang out with a co-worker? You know your wife made plans because you said you were busy, right? Clearly you weren't.
Then you ignore all of her calls? Petty.
You effed up.
EDIT: Saw in one of your responses that this coworker openly admitted to your wife that she has a crush on you. Come in, OP. This is some highschool level nonsense. ###### |
There's no school and she doesn't have a job, so my stepdaughter has no responsibilities at the moment. For context, her dad was a single dad until he met me when she was 10, and now we have two more children together. Her dad is a GP so he works pretty much constantly and I'm left looking after 2 children by myself for the majority of the day, both 5 and 2 years old respectively.
Apart from cooking the daily family meal twice a week max, looking after the children 2x a week when we go grocery shopping and helping me put away said grocery shopping, my stepdaughter does nothing to help when I'm clearly in over my head and she's old enough to be taught a little responsibility. When I was her age, I was working two jobs and looked after my little sister and helped out around the house without being asked. She has to be asked to do every little thing apart from the things mentioned so far and almost always does them begrudgingly.
To teach her a better work ethic, I put together a chart full of chores she has to do every day. Until she's done them, she's banned from using her devices - both her phone and her ipad, and I also take away whatever book she's reading at the moment. She can have them back when all the chores are done. A typical day for the past week has involved her doing 5 chores of her choice from a list. The choices are, as examples: vacuum all of upstairs or downstairs, wash the floor, cook dinner, fold the laundry, do the dishes, dust any surfaces, tidy your siblings rooms, walk the dogs, pick up dog poop from the garden etc.
This was all working out fine until my husband caught onto what was going on, and he accused me of being lazy and punishing her for no reason and overstepping boundaries. I don't agree at all, the household is running much more smoothly with her help and I have more time to spend educating my 5 year old since school is out and I need to make sure he doesn't fall behind. AITA? ###### | YTA.
"I'm spending my time educating my 5 year old so he doesn't fall behind."
And I'm just wondering how you expect the 16 year old preparing for college in a few years from falling behind when you are using her as a servant to free yourself?
Do you really think kindergarten or first grade is more difficult to catch up on than junior in high school?
Especially because you take away the tools she needs to learn.
Just because you helped out doesn't mean you get to force her to ESPECIALLY because you made a unilateral decision and excluded her father from the situation.
Parenting is a joint effort, you massively overstepped. ###### |
My girlfriend, Emily (23F) and I (30M) have been dating for a year. We live together. Emily is a freelance writer and she is also studying for her Master's.
She has this "hobby" of making stuffed toys, tableclothes, scarves and stuff. But the most expensive and interesting ones are her glass cups and plates. She makes paintings on them and stores them in a shelve. I often pay for more than half of her materials.
I got laid off from work last January and our financial condition was really bad by February so I asked her if she could sell some of her crafts for money. She flat out refused and said that she is working extra hard and I should start looking for a job.
I knew it was difficult for me to get a job and that harder days were coming so I decided to sell some of her glass crockery and table cloths on Etsy. I didn't tell her before selling them because I knew that she wouldn't understand.
We survived February and March with her freelance money and glass crockery sets and some of our savings. Today she was cleaning the shelves and she asked me if I knew where her crockery was.
I told her that I'd sold them and she went absolutely hysterical. I was going to tell her later because I knew that she wouldn't understand otherwise. She called me a thief and demanded that I return her crockery immediately. I told her it was impossible and that she could always make the exact same ones.
She hasn't talked to me and is being completely unreasonable and inconsiderate.
AITA? ###### | YTA.
If you gift an artists some paints and they create the Mona Lisa it doesn't mean you fucking own the Mona Lisa. ###### |
I (f45) have two sons, one is 20 and one is 18. This is regarding my older son. He’s currently at university studying medicine but is home at the moment studying online. He’s been in a relationship with a girl from his university city since last December and they seem really in love, but I do have my concerns.
I think a further education is crucial, and my sons girlfriend didn’t even finish high school. She’s in a good job as she has her own business but it concerns me. She seems to distract him a lot, but my son claims she massively motivates him and tells him to get his work done, especially at the moment whilst they’re long distance.
Yesterday my husband came downstairs and told me he could hear our son on the phone to his girlfriend. They call at least twice a day, for at least an hour each time. I went upstairs and asked him if he was talking to her and he said they had just finished. I told him I didn’t think they would last to the end of lockdown and that maybe he should consider just being friends with her at the minute so he can focus properly. I don’t disapprove of her, but in all honesty she isn’t what I planned for my son. She seems like a lovely girl but her lack of education does worry me.
My son has been furious with me as he told his girlfriend what I said and it really upset her. My husband has also said that I need to keep my nose of my sons business as he’s 20 now. AITA for telling him they won’t last? ###### | YTA. "she isn't what I planed for my son" ???
Are you bloody kidding me? ###### |
My daughter is very angry at me for asking this and has said she will never forgive me. Previously, we both expressed our desire to lose weight and have tried diets together and always share tips. We are both very much overweight and definitely bond over this because we are open about our struggles.
About 2 months ago, my daughter’s (26F) long-time boyfriend (25m) abruptly ended their relationship. Last week, he posted about his new girlfriend who is much thinner than my daughter. My daughter showed me the picture and told me she was shocked he was already in a new relationship. She sort of implied that the relationships may have overlapped as an explanation for their sudden breakup. The first thing I said in response was “Do you think he cheated on you because of the weight gain?” They are both pretty girls and and the question just came out of my mouth before I even realized what I was saying. I was in no way implying that he was “upgrading” or that she was prettier than her in any way. However, I don’t think its a crazy question and I feel she can use this as motivation to get serious.
A major reason why my mind went there is because my daughter has always had some extra lbs, even before meeting her ex, but gained a lot in the past year. She even told me that he had said some things about it was encouraging her to eat better and skip dinner. Her weight struggles have been a major topic of conversation for us recently so it didn’t feel like a sensitive topic. I agree that it would be very wrong to ask this if she never mentioned her weight to me. But we talk about the issue a lot and it felt very natural for me to ask that because we are very honest with each other.
Was this out of line? Or was it acceptable because we are very close and open about this issue? ###### | YTA. "Do you think he cheated on you because you suck?"
It's not her fault that her partner possibly cheated. Ppl who get cheated on already have irrational, insecure thoughts. And a mother feeding those irrational thoughts is just awful.
Major YTA ###### |
I'm in my third year of college as an international student, and as my contract for student dorms is about to run out and I can't go home, one of my college friends offered for me to move in with him and his family for a while. I was excited about it at first, because I've known this guy since first year and we're really good friends so it should be fun, but today he sent me a message saying he needed to tell me something before I met his family.
Turns out he's a transgender, and his family still use his birth name and call him a she, so he knew he had to tell me before I met them. I was expecting something like "my mom collects creepy dolls". I don't even know how to articulate how I feel about it. I thought this guy was one of my best friends, and I've told him so much about my life and my past that I don't normally talk about, but it turns out I didn't actually know who he was at all. I messaged him back saying that what he'd just told me was huge, and that I didn't think I wanted to live with someone who'd hidden something like that from me.
I just feel like I don't even know him anymore. He's talked to me about his childhood before, and must have been lying through his teeth about it, since he wasn't even a boy in the first place. If he's been lying about this huge thing, what else has he been lying about? I don't feel like I can trust him anymore, and I don't know if I want a friend like that. My sister thinks I'm overreacting about it and just told me to get over myself, but I really thought he was one of my closest friends and in three years he never thought to tell me this. I don't want to live with someone who would lie to me for so long, but she thinks I'm being a dick. AITA? ###### | YTA. Your friend has had their entire existence effectively denied by their family refusing to acknowledge that they are transgender. When you consider that single fact, it should be pretty clear why they would hide that fact from everyone but their closest friends. The fact that he told you this doesn't change who he is or how he's behaved around you. The sort of reaction you had is the sort of thing transgender people are most afraid of when coming out to friends. ###### |
I woke up later than usual today and heard my daughter (16) moving around downstairs. I went down and she was playing a video game. We said good morning, and I asked her how long she’d been up. She said for a couple of hours.
I jokingly said “bet you enjoyed having the house to yourself for a while” because my husband and I are usually are at work all day, and she’s usually home alone.
She said “yeah, actually, it was kinda nice”. I didn’t expect a response like that, and frankly, it hurt my feelings. I said “oh, do I not do enough for you?” She rolled her eyes and said “you know that’s not what I meant” and I said “do you really hate your family that much?” She just ignored me that time.
I gave her a chance to make things right and just drop it, and said “you know I’m not being serious” and she said “no I don’t because you say shit like this all the time”. I don’t tolerate that kind of language in my house, and she didn’t even drop it like she should have. I sent her to her room, and she went.
I discussed it with my husband, and I went up to her room, and told her that from now on, since she can’t appreciate family time, that she may not leave her room until we are up. She got very pouty, and told me that I was being unreasonable.
Thing is, she doesn’t appreciate anything I do. She constantly manipulates me, and doesn’t understand how hard isolation has been for me. Considering how she treats me, I think I am being more than reasonable. AITA? ###### | YTA. You’re manipulative and annoying and you sound like a child. You’re baiting your daughter into these arguments. It’s pathetic. Like, what do you want from her? Why do you need so much attention? These power plays are dumb. ###### |
I know, it sounds like a favor. But isn’t this also a bit of being nosy?
We are all at their retreat and having a nice time. He doesn’t say much: takes his ultrasonic turbo jet and decides to wash my car. Granted, my car was dirty. But isn’t that my call to make?
So then my wife asks why I didn’t go compliment my in-law because he washed my car. Mind that this is a somewhat repetitive behavior of his: mind other people’s business. Gee, he hands me napkins when he sees my hands are dirty because I *might* need them.
So fine, he wanted to wash it with my 4 year old, that was considered at some point, and I also didn’t like that because it’s a dad-son thing I could do myself. But I’d be ok with that. Yet, my 4yo didn’t join him, and he still didn’t give up the idea. He spent 2 hours washing my car, when nobody asked him to.
Of course, I’ll say eventually that yeah, looks great, thanks. But if I’m to be honest, I don’t like that. It’s like saying “your car is too dirty” or something.
To illustrate my point to my wife, I said “imagine by mom entering our house, removing our curtains and laundering them. What would you make of it?”.
So, AITA for not being particularly pleased? ###### | YTA. You're mad because he washed your car as a favor and hands you napkins when he sees you're hands are dirty? This isn't not minding his business. This is caring about others and trying to be helpful. If he's overstepping, you can express some boundaries, but it doesn't sound like you've done that. You just went straight to thinking that it's a passive aggressive statement that you can't take care of yourself when it's far more likely that he's just bored and wants to play with his power washer toy but his own car is already clean. Relax. Thank him. Save your anger for things that matter. ###### |
Edit: Thank you for the responses everyone, I appreciate them all. I've decided to take your advice and send everyone a meaningful apology, EXCEPT for the boy. I'll use a mutual friend to pass the message, however I'll tell them only to mention the apology if he happens to mention me. This was a short discussion, but it helped a lot. Feel free to keep the discussion going; I may change my mind. So again, thanks for the advice!
Amidst the crisis, I still find it funny that this conflict is bothering me more.
Here's some context: I've liked this boy for 2 years now, and he has a girlfriend. I told him I liked him a year ago, and things got awkward between us. We stopped talking seven months ago. However, I did text him on February to yell at him for ignoring my friend and making her cry. He told me to stop texting him, and I did. He stopped ignoring my friend.
Fast forward to today, and looking through our text messages, I realized how awful I was to him. I was a nice girl, and not in a good way. I would be passive aggressive when he talked about his girlfriend, I would fight with him when he called other people his best friend. I would even claim that I was his best friend because I had helped him with some stupid problems. I felt awful rereading those messages, and I couldn't imagine how he felt, having to put up with it.
Now that school is cancelled for the rest of the year in my state, I planned to send all of my friends that have ever been involved with this stupid drama between me and that boy a long apology, because I'm sure that they deserve one for putting up with my shit. I'm also sure that I might not see them again, because I'm going to highschool next year. Well, now you know that this is petty eighth grade drama. Oh well.
I'm just not sure if I should send that boy one last apology. After all, he told me not to text him anymore, but I still feel obliged to. WIBTA? ###### | YTA. You're apologizing for your own sake, not for his benefit. Write a letter, burn it, and delete his number/social media. Be better on your own time. ###### |
I have two children with my ex, 8 and 7, I've been with my husband for 6 years and we have a 3 year old together.
I used to live just down the road to my ex so he would pop by every day to see the children but then my partner got offered a promotion meaning we had to move, it's about 120miles away from where we were living originally.
We moved late last year and right now we are still figuring out custody, ex visits the weekends, usually staying in hotels, and skypes every two days.
He's arguing that he wants the children for two weeks of the month and is willing to move to do so (he's put this on hold while his partner is pregnant) but to have them every two weeks he would have to pick them up at 5pm and the next morning leave to get them to school at 8;20, it would be too hard on the children.
The children have started to grow closer to my partner and further away from my ex, which isn't my fault, my partner *had* to move.
Well, he wanted to phone yesterday while the children were playing with their dad (my partner, their stepdad) and when I asked them they said they didnt want to talk to him on the phone today, in the morning though if they could.
When I told this to my ex he went off on a huge rant about how I'm selfish because I moved them 120 miles away and how I should force them to talk to him on the phone, he has a right to talk to them etc and basically ended it by saying he will be pushing harder with the custody agreement and will be mentioning this.
AITA? ###### | YTA. You're actually lucky he didn't kick up a fuss when you moved with your partner to another city. They have distance from their father because you decided to move them away. ###### |
My son is about to turn 23 and is about to graduate from college. He works full time and went to school full time in fall and part time in spring. He pays for all his own expenses like rent, food, insurance, and tuition so he is in quite a bit of debt coming out of this. I convinced him to let me claim his as a dependent for 2019 saying it won't affect him at all and it will save me 500 dollars. He agreed. Now he is inelgilbe for the stimulus check and demands that I pay him 1200 dollars. He was let go from his job, and has virtually no money for rent and other expenses. I told him this was a national emergency, and I could in no way forsee this and this was not my fault and life isn't fair. He is really upset about it.
AITA ###### | YTA. You used him to cheat the system and it backfired, now he’s out of pocket because of you. ###### |
My son is about to turn 23 and is about to graduate from college. He works full time and went to school full time in fall and part time in spring. He pays for all his own expenses like rent, food, insurance, and tuition so he is in quite a bit of debt coming out of this. I convinced him to let me claim his as a dependent for 2019 saying it won't affect him at all and it will save me 500 dollars. He agreed. Now he is inelgilbe for the stimulus check and demands that I pay him 1200 dollars. He was let go from his job, and has virtually no money for rent and other expenses. I told him this was a national emergency, and I could in no way forsee this and this was not my fault and life isn't fair. He is really upset about it.
AITA ###### | YTA. You reported him as a dependent to save $500 for yourself. And now that he’s depending on you for help you refuse to help cause you wouldn’t get any benefit from it. ###### |
A bit of backstory, im on mobile so sorry for format. So my daughter (23 F) doesnt leave her room much at all. She tends to play video games way too much as she says it helps her depression. I frequently ask her to sit outside with me in our garden as a bit of sunshine might help her feel better yet she always refuses either saying she doesnt want to or shes busy playing games with her friends. I recently bought a hammock for my husband and my daughter took a liking to it. She has sat in it every day since. Today she asked if i would sit outside with her and i refused saying im busy watchinng TV. She got a little offended and said i always ask her to go outside and now she is i wont sit with her. Am i the asshole for not going outside with her? ###### | YTA. You push her to go outside and she asked for your support. You were too busy watching TV to support your depressed child. She asked to spend time with you outside and you opted to watch TV. You didn't ask her to wait up for you to be done. You shut her down. ###### |
My daughter Savannah is 17. Last week she was at one of her friend's house. Basically her friends parents came home early from a business trip and busted their kid and my daughter drinking.
I was obviously pretty pissed and told Savannah that she can't go to Lily's house anymore. She basically told me that Lily is not the problem and that all of her friends occasionally drink. So I told her that while she lives under my roof that she cannot visit anyone. Am I being too harsh? ###### | YTA. You need to discuss the dangers of drinking with her. You are doing more harm than good by taking the actions that you are. ###### |
My roommate and I have been living together for a little over six months. She is a huge inspiration to me. She is gorgeous, I shape, intellectual, etc.
She’s put me on to her lifestyle. With her help I have lost just over 40 pounds since she moved in, i feel better than I have in my whole life, since I’ve been underweight since I was a child. She also introduced me to a lot of different food, movies, music, and other things. She has really helped me come out of my shell and I’m eternally grateful to her.
My roommate came back from a run the other morning, and she looked like she was glowing! I snapped a quick picture of her laughing at something silly that her dog was doing. I posted it to Instagram, and typed out a long caption about how awesome she is and how thankful I am for her help.
Everyone in the comments for the picture was calling her beautiful and congratulating me on my progress. My roommate care to me a couple of hours later and told me to take the picture down because she looked a mess. She told me she didn’t appreciate me posting it. That really hurt my feelings because I was singing her praises and trying to show my gratitude to her.
I told her that she looked amazing in the picture, and that she shouldn’t worry about it. Everyone was saying how beautiful she was. She told me she didn’t care, and wanted the picture taken down. I told her no, she should stop being vain. She tried to get my phone from me and delete it herself, and that’s when we got into an argument. She is trying to report me to Instagram, and publicly calling me a stalker for not taking the picture down.
This is out of character for her, so I’m wondering if I’m really an asshole for trying to show my appreciation to someone. ###### | YTA. You may think the picture is flattering and you're just expressing appreciation, but she doesn't. If you really want to express appreciation, you'd listen to how she feels about this and not offend the person you're trying to "thank." Instead of invalidating her feelings and telling her she's wrong and vain (also not ways to show appreciation), an apology would be in order.
You took a picture of her in her own home, when she should be able to expect privacy and instead she feels you're exposing her in an unflattering way and then insulting her on top of it. Does any of that sound like something you should do to someone who has helped you? ###### |
I (22F) have lived in an apartment with 3 other people (all 22F) since August of 2019. For the last year, my roommates have been rude and condescending to me. They’ve belittled me for having what I see as a normal college experience, such as spending time with friends and going out on weekends. They are all extremely Type A and only focused on school. I was not, but I was generally a good roommate and a good student. But, they were particularly rude and passive aggressive about specific cleaning things. For example, if I left dishes in the sink, I would get a text in our group message saying something passive aggressive, like “just remember to clean up after yourselves!” One time I was putting away dishes from the dishwasher while one roommate watched, before taking over and saying “It’s okay that you didn’t do this right. It’s just that you have a more creative brain, while I have a logical brain.”
Since the pandemic hit, I unofficially moved out, by taking a suitcase of clothes to my friends’ apartment and staying here for the past two and a half months. I’ve been really happy here and have been validated that I am a good roommate, I was just living with the wrong people. Now, the lease in my old apartment (to which I still paid rent for the past two months) ends at the end of this month. I went in and moved all my things out, and cleaned my bedroom and my bathroom. My roommates want me to come back and help them clean the common areas after they move their things out. I think it would be one last middle finger to them if I didn’t show up to help, seeing how they micromanaged and condescended my cleaning for two years straight.
My friends/new roommates encouraged me to block their numbers and not help clean. My mom thinks I should help them, or forfeit my security deposit if I don’t help. WIBTA if I didn’t help them clean? ###### | Yta. You lived there too, you should go back and clean up. If you don't leave an apartment clean you can lose the security deposit. ###### |
Hi everyone! I've been a long-time lurker, but the first-time poster! I (26F) am so excited to marry my fiance (27M) this September! Unfortunately, we've had to postpone our bachelorette/bachelor parties for obvious reasons. Additionally, we may have to have a small ceremony of fewer than 10 people on our wedding date, and our actual ceremony in June 2021 since we cannot get our money back from the venue, the catering is included as well. At the end of the day, we do want to share our love in front of our family and friends. We also have just bought a beautiful condo 30 minutes away from fiance's parents in Connecticut! While we are so excited about this journey together, this whole process has been stressful and sometimes I wish we just eloped earlier this year.
Here's the issue my fiance's younger brother Tom (24M) has been dating his girlfriend Melinda (24F) since college. The crazy world circumstances have led them to want to speed up their future plans. Now, they are looking to get married next month at the courthouse. They also are putting an offer on a condo 10 minutes from us. I can't help but feel upstaged. They know how difficult the wedding planning process has been for us but are still planning their wedding to be before ours. My Fiance and I are happy for them, but we feel hurt that our feelings weren't taken into consideration. All of my friends have been saying that Melinda was in competition with me this whole time, but I didn't even see it until now. I just want to make sure that my fiance and I are properly celebrated and don't want to be upstaged.
So Reddit, AITA for being upset that my wedding is being upstaged by my future in-laws? ###### | YTA. You don't own the entire amount of time before your wedding. They are getting married in May. You are getting married four months later. Four months. It's not like they are getting married the week before you. They are having a court house wedding. They aren't planning anything elaborate. They have the absolute right to get married on this timetable. Similarly, if they found a condo perfect for them, they have the absolute right to buy it.
BTW, your real wedding is in September, not next year. Get over yourself. ###### |
So this past week it was that time of the month again. Sometimes mine are really bad and last more than a week. It was that way this time. Well my husband had been in the bathroom for a really long time. I knocked and he said he’d be out soon. I tried to open the door and to my surprise it was unlocked. I walked in at was a little disgusted at what I saw. He was touching himself. He quickly stopped when I opened up the door. I was shocked and asked him what he was doing. He looked really embarrassed and said “I think you know already.” I told him this was unacceptable and just gross for him to do this, especially behind my back. He assured me that he wasn’t watching porn, and was instead looking at pictures of me while doing it. Nonetheless I still said that I didn’t like him doing this and requested that he stop immediately. He agreed, but has yet to be normal around me since then. He seems to be very embarrassed. In my point of view, I believe what I said and did was completely warranted. But with his reaction, I wanted to see what other people’s opinions were on this. Did I handle this the wrong way? Was I being an asshole? ###### | YTA. You barged in on him *in the bathroom*, and shamed him for masturbating.
You sound like a troll, and you are for sure the asshole.
**YTA.** ###### |
My GF has about 5-6 of my T-shirts. I technically gave them to her. She mentioned one time something like “oh I have a whole pile of your shirts I just washed, I need to remember to give them back.” I said “don’t worry about it, you can keep them.”
Now here is where I’m not sure if it’s wrong or right. The shirts live with her, she can wear them whenever...but they are still *my* shirts. It sounds bad typing it out but I guess I just never considered that she’d think of them as anything other than “my boyfriends clothes that i sometimes wear.”
A few weeks ago I noticed one of “my” shirts got grease spots on it from her cooking. I loved that shirt so I was a little sad and said something. She brushed it off but did eventually apologize.
Then I notice she got paint on a 2nd shirt and bleach on another.
By the 3rd shirt I was really bothered and asked why she keeps managing to ruin my shirts but none of hers. She said since I didn’t want the shirts, she didn’t think it was a big deal to let them get messed up.
Reddit, please tell us who is the AH ###### | YTA. When you give something to someone, it becomes theirs. You told her she can keep them, not that you like when she wears your clothes and can hang onto them while you're not wearing them. ###### |
Some background - I (19f) have been staying with my brother -B- (23m) and his long term boyfriend -K- (25m) for the time being for obvious reasons. My only other option was going home to our parents who I don't get along with.
Since living with them I've noticed a few things. Like when my brother cooks he always sets aside some of the leftovers for his boyfriend to have for lunch which means it's off limits even if I want more. He told me after a few days that I had to limit my shower time to under thirty minutes and after I told him I needed extra time because I'm a girl he laughed and said that's a stupid and untrue. He also does his boyfriend's laundry, evening ironing his things. When I asked him to do mine too he said I was grown and could do it myself. Well, if I'm grown so is K.
At one point I drank the last of this really good orange cream float drink and K got mad at me because he apparently makes them special for B. I hadn't noticed that the bottle was marked with my brother's name or obviously I wouldn't have drank it which I told him. He rolled his eyes at me and told me to pay more attention next time.
It's honestly starting to feel like they don't even want me there and are trying to passively aggressively get me to leave. All I want is to be treated the same, am I the asshole for that? ###### | YTA. They are housing you, and you expect catering and laundry service, too? This is way too much entitlement! As a guest who is intruding on their space, YOU should be going out of your way to help them and make things easier. Start cooking, pick up that iron, and make yourself a welcome presence, not a freeloader. ###### |
For the last two weeks I (27M) have been walking to and from work for about one hour everyday, because I don't want to take the metro. My girlfriend (26F) works as a teacher from home; she works for around 20 hours per week and I work 40 so she takes care of a lot of things in the house, and this week she took care of dinner every night.
Today I decided I want to order take out so I texted her during the day telling her we should have a chill night, order some burgers etc. She agreed, she seemed happy with the plan. So far, so good.
When I arrived home I was exhausted after the one hour walk. She was in the other room, giving a Skype class. Because I had skipped lunch and I was hungry I ate some chocolate and a sandwich. She came out briefly between two of her classes and told me to order the food so that it gets here by the time she finishes, and then one more time an hour later when she told me again to order the food as she was hungry.
But, because I had already eaten, I wasn't hungry anymore and I told her I want to wait until I feel hungry again. She didn't say anything so I thought she is ok with it.
When she finally finished her class (around 8pm) she discovered that I had eaten a sandwhich but did not order the food and all hell broke loose - she accused me of not taking into consideration that she was hungry too and not ordering the food in time to arrive just as she finished her class. She said she always does nice things for me and I never do nice things for her even though just a couple of days before I surprised her with a new book about one of her favorite authors.
AITA for not ordering food when she wanted me to?
​
EDIT: I did order the food just after she told me she's upset. I just didn't do it at the time she requested. I also apologised and took care of everything when it came (setting the table, washing the dishes after etc). I just wanted to know if AITA for not doing it *when* she wanted me to. ###### | YTA. She told you she was hungry. Twice. If you didn't want to eat the burgers when they showed up, you could've reheated them later. Or just made two separate orders. There was no reason you should've made her wait on you. ###### |
I am very stressed at the moment. I cannot complete anything, so I turn to baking to feel like I can at least get something done.
All of my kids and my husband are appreciative of it, except for my 16 year old daughter, who has been on this diet she doesn’t need to be on. She will eat cookies occasionally but since I’ve been making more, she has to eat more.
She came up to me earlier today and said she didn’t want to have so many cookies. I was already in a terrible mood, and this just made me snap. I said “fine”, and went to the kitchen and grabbed butter, eggs, anything you use to make cookies and dumped it all in the trash.
My daughter said “you don’t have to stop... I just don’t think I’ll have any more” but I was already in it.
One of my younger kids walked in and asked what I was doing, and I said “throwing away all the cookie ingredients because your sister decided that we don’t get to have any more”.
My daughter raised her voice and said to me “you need to stop shoving words in my mouth, I know you’re in a bad mood right now” I cut her off and said “telling someone they’re in a bad mood doesn’t help”. She rolled her eyes and went to her room.
Perhaps I overreacted. But the teenager does not get to dictate what happens in my house. I am tired of her diet ruling my eating habits, because I’m not going to bust ass to make a special little meal for her every night.
AITA? ###### | YTA. She said she didn't want to eat any more cookies, not that you aren't allowed to make them. Throwing food away because you were having a tantrum is incredibly childish. ###### |
My boyfriend of 9 years and I are discussing marriage more and more frequently.
The only problem is that he wants a normal “small” wedding, and I don’t. I hate parties, I have social anxiety, and I don’t like spending money on things that bring me no joy.
My mother is also upset by my preference. She gets really down/disappointed every time I bring up the fact that I want to “sign papers and that’s it” and pleads with me to invite her to my wedding.
So finally I told my mom that it’s not happening, and told my boyfriend that either we have no wedding or I refuse to marry him.
AITA? ###### | YTA. Seriously not wanting a huge, fancy wedding is one thing. Not being willing to compromise to even a small wedding when it is important to your partner is another.
Contrary to what the internet has up and decided in the last few years "bUt I hAve SOciAL AnxIETY!" is not really a valid excuse to actively cultivate no social skills and make everything about you. ###### |
Hi, I’m new to reddit, and only saw it on a YouTube video, so I thought I would give I a try.
My son (15) last year asked about getting a gaming computer. My son has the tendency to really want something for around a week, but then drop it after I say he can’t have it.
He asked about building a computer and we talked about it. We agreed on a budget of around $1000. I told him if he could save up, he could get it.
Fast forward a year later, and he did save up $1000. The only reason I had even talked about budget was to humor him for a while.
He came into me and my husbands room and basically did a presentation on what he was going to buy. I asked him what would the cost be and he said $1100. He does have around $1300 in his account.
I shut it down immediately. He’s 15 and needs to save for a car. Me and my husband both think that 1100 is outrageous. He has a Xbox if he wants to play games. And he also has a chromebook for schoolwork.
He tells me that it’s not that simple. But $1100 is crazy.
I told him that he could spend $500 and now he won’t leave his room because “I lied to him, and got his hopes up.”
I just know that $1100 is way to much. He can get a nice computer for $500.
So reddit, am I the asshole? ###### | YTA. Reneging on a promise to a teenager after he fulfills his end of the bargain is a betrayal, one that he won't soon forget. He's quite right - you did lie to him and got his hopes up. You're within your rights to question whether he should spend the $1100 on a computer or save for a car and discuss it with him, but in the end, it's HIS money, he did everything you told him to do. You're teaching him not to trust you, and I promise you, he won't if you don't reconsider. ###### |
Hey, so, we are feeling bad and guilty for deciding the euthanize our daughter’s kitten instead of paying for surgery.
We adopted a kitten from a shelter for our daughters birthday in mid March. Late last week she started throwing up, wasn’t eating, wasn’t drinking, and was lethargic.
We took her to the vet and they felt something hard in her stomach or intestines. This kitten loved playing with small toys and LEGOs found on the floor.
They did an X-ray and found she was full of poop but couldn’t see if there was something else causing an obstruction so the plan was to keep her overnight, hydrate her with an IV, give her an enema in the morning and do another round of X-rays.
We got the call the next day saying that the X-rays still aren’t showing anything definitive and that surgery was needed. We were in $600 at this point and the surgery would have added another $1000.
We opted to go with euthanasia instead and feel terrible for making this decision since we could have afforded the extra $1000 out of our savings, but we feared that the kitten would possibly do it again if she ate something she shouldn’t have. We’ve had several kittens and cats and have never had this problem before. However, we feel terrible for our heartbroken daughter. Are we the baddies? ###### | YTA. Monumental one. This post will be deleted if I express my opinion of you more freely but you should be horribly ashamed of yourself and should never get another pet - ever! ###### |
So, there's this F-list celebrity/influencer here in my country that got a sex-tape of hers leaked. She gave the fakest interview about it, saying how hard it has been for her to take the video down from porn sites and how much abuse and harassment she has faced over it. It was extremely obvious she was faking and trying to leverage this situation into more fame and Instagram followers.
We were discussing this with my friends and pretty much everyone agreed, but there was this one girl, Lena, who got extremely offended over my stance and said that what happened to her was horrible and she's a victim in this whole situation.
I told her she was being naive if she believed that woman's crocodile tears and that she's as much of a victim of revenge porn as Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton.
She started calling me an asshole and said that even if that was the case, I still shouldn't be speaking out against her because her message (don't upload stuff without consent) is still valuable and needs to be heard.
I obviously agreed with her that the message was correct, but I told her that it was still important to point out this was most likely a publicity stunt by someone who was after Instagram followers and views.
That sent her over the edge and she called me a misogynist who's actively harming a good cause for a trivial reason, but then our friends intervened and changed the subject. Lena spent the rest of the evening no talking to me. Was I an asshole? ###### | YTA. Just so you know, both those women you named legitimately had revenge porn released. ###### |
A few years ago i went to visit my youngest son's family. He has two daughters (i will be calling the Older granddaughter as OGD and the younger granddaughter as YGD).
When i went to visit their house, i lost my wallet.
OGD finds out about this and hid her own money to my stuff so i would not be worried, i presume YGD does not know about this.
Time skips to present, and i visited them again. I wanted to give them money.
Because of OGD's kindness a few years ago, i decided to give her extra money.
I gave OGD $50 and i gave YGD $30.
When i gave them the money, i explained to YGD that i gave her sister more money because she did something kind years ago. YGD looks visibly quite upset.
I think i was in the right because OGD was very kind, but i feel quite guilty giving YGD less money.
AITA for giving my two granddaughters different money?
I apologize for any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language. ###### | YTA. It's kind of you to want to repay the older for her kindness, but that repayment should've been done on a separate occasion and in private.
You also said you presume the younger doesn't know what the older did, but that means it's possible she actually might know. ###### |
For some insight, I follow a pretty strict skincare regimen (oil cleanse, regular cleanse, chemical exfoliation, dry, tone, serums, mask, moisturize, sleeping mask etc… - I even started sleeping on my back because I learned that it’s better for your skin). My body skincare is also strict since I’ve started using serums on my body to work towards a more even skin tone and softness.
I used to have severe acne as a teen and I’m really proud of how far my skin has come along. Anyway, my skincare routine is a daily ritual that I follow religiously and it takes a lot of time but I am happy with it. My boyfriend \~\~we’ll call him Thomas\~\~ is from the countryside and doesn’t have hygienic practices anywhere near mine. Thomas says that my skincare routine is pretty much nothing but a practice of vanity and that I was even prettier with acne. First of all, I think he’s pretty stupid for saying these things but I’m starting to feel confused.
I worked really, really hard to get my skin to the place where it is now but all he does is use a 4-in-one “men's” body wash/face soap/shampoo/conditioner/anal douche or whatever. The real kicker is that his skin is immaculate. I’m in a bit of rage lately since it feels like Thomas literally hasn’t worked for anything that he’s ever received in life but I'm constantly working towards making things work in what feels like every possible way. Anyway, I’m at a point where I don't even want him to touch me at all because when we cuddle, I feel grime from his sweat. The worst is when I feel clean after a shower and he tries to make moves on me WHILE my serums dry- I naturally reject his body almost every time. AITA? ###### | YTA. It because you don’t want him to touch your skin, but because of everything else you said about him. So what if he’s got clear skin that he didn’t have to work for? How are his genetics and luck his fault? It sounds a lot like you feel resentment toward him that has nothing to do with your skin care regimen and rules. ###### |
I asked my girlfriend if she could lend me money for weed, £50 and that I would pay her back next when when I get paid. She said no since she is against weed and drugs in general, I asked why and then she said "well I will lend you money if you give me the double amount back, so £100 because I will put an interest rate"
I told her that was ridiculous and a bit petty and that I will just give her back the same amount. I'm desperate for some weed so I agreed to do it but then I went on about how selfish she is. She called me an asshole because I agreed to it and that's just how she "lends" out money especially when it is going to take such a long time to give it back. She literally has enough money in her bank. I got angry at her and told her its stupid that she is trying to make money out of me.... she then went on telling me how much of an asshole I am and that if I don't have money for weed I should wait it out instead OR do it this way.
AITA here? ###### | YTA. If you can't support your drug habit, guess you have to pay the going rate or stop doing drugs. ###### |
I own a small business and my kids (10 and 12) help me with the business after school.
I don’t pay them, because we’re all members of the family who need to do our job and contribute.
They met some other kids who work at their family’s business and apparently those kids are making minimum wage, so now my kids are starting to demand I pay them.
They do pretty minimal tasks, nothing difficult, stacking and sorting, logging things into a spreadsheet, light cleaning, answering the phone.
They’re really pushing for me to pay them now and aren’t having nearly as much fun as we used to working together since they found out their friends are being paid.
I feel bad that they’re not enjoying themselves as much anymore, but feel it’s absurd for me to be expected to pay them. They’re my kids and this is their family. Plus, I never want to reverse a parenting decision because “that’s how my friends do it at their house” it sets a bad precedent.
But I’m starting to really get worried I’m being too stubborn now, because they do good work, and if their friends are getting paid times might have just changed since I was younger working at my family’s business. Am I the asshole for not paying them? ###### | YTA. If they're working, you should be paying them. Presumably you're paying yourself, or profiting off of the work you're doing for the business in some way, so why shouldn't they? Sticking to your guns just to be consistent when you're obviously in the wrong is bad parenting. ###### |
My sister (31F) is having a baby in August. It’s a boy, but they are not planning to announce the name until he is born. This has really pissed off my mom and grandma, and they constantly bug my sister about telling the name.
After a while, my sister got sick of it and started telling them fake names. This might seem like a good strategy on the surface, but *its not.* My grandma especially freaks out when she doesn’t like the name, and my sister has been giving her fake name “contenders” on purpose.
For example, she said she’d name her son Mo Lester, Stalin, Egbert, and a few more totally crazy names. Every time, my mom calls me in tears and rants for like 10 minutes straight about how my sister is losing it and I need to talk sense into her. I always tell my mom she’s probably joking, but my mom is very gullible.
This dynamic is starting to annoy me a lot. AITA if I tell my sister to knock it off so I don’t have to deal with the drama? ###### | YTA. If Mom and Grandma won't take no for an answer, Sister is within her rights. YOU are the one who can knock it off by telling Mom and Grandma that you don't want to hear it and hanging up the phone. There's no law that says you have to be anybody's sounding board. Rather than try to control what Sister does, try controlling what YOU do and stop listening to Mom weep and wail. Tell her it's between her and Sister and hang up! ###### |
This happened last night and I have been told by my partner that I was selfish but idk.
There was a tornado warning last night where I live. This isn't too unusual in our state but we are in a city so we dont typically get actual touchdown or anything like that. When the sirens went off (around 6 pm) we heard a knock at the door, and it was our upstairs neighbor. He asked if he and his girlfriend and dog could go in our basement. We live in a duplex, so it's an old house that has been split in 2 units. They have the second floor and attick and we have the first floor and basement. I told them I wasnt comfortable with them coming into our house, and apologized, and the guy left after kind of awkwardly standing there in my doorway for a second. I said sorry but I dont think I'm obligated to let people into my house just because theres a storm. For what it's worth there wasnt even a tornado after the warnings and the sirens stopped about 5 minutes after he came and asked.
Anyway my girl said I was being selfish but I dont think they need access to our house every time there is a storm warning. Aita? ###### | YTA. I have lived in the same major southern city for my entire life and we have never experienced a tornado (edit- that I can remember, I'm 36). I am in a very urban part of town. Because of the earth dying we have started to have tornado warnings, I can think of at least two this year. Last week about 15 minutes after the warning came through ten massive trees were down and about 6 houses were destroyed on my street alone. Somehow no one was injured. Maybe you should start taking the warnings seriously even if you "don't typically get a touchdown."
2nd edit- Turned out there wasn't a tornado, this was just wind damage, so... ###### |
I work in an office job (currently WFH now but still applicable). I am frequently bombarded with nonsensical and vague requests with unrealistic deadlines. I am in a customer-service type role, although the 'customers' are people from work, so I'm not dealing with the general public.
I finally got sick of the constant requests and put this as an auto-responder on my Outlook:
"Before you email me, consider these four things:
- Your deadline is not my priority
- Be specific in your request. I will not fill in the gaps or join the dots for you.
- Read my job description. Requests unrelated to my job description will be sent straight to my junk folder.
- Politeness doesn't cost a penny.
My supervisor gave me a call yesterday saying I need to remove this auto-responder or tone it down. I stood my ground and said I'm getting sick at the quality of requests coming through and needed to filter some of them out. I've been referred to my supervisor's boss. AITA? ###### | YTA. I agree with your manager that the tone of your auto-reply is very snooty and unhelpful, bordering on entitled. If you disagree with your supervisor's request, then you are insubordinate and yes, YTA for that too. ###### |
My son is a young adult but he is low functioning, he has the mental capacity of a 12 to 13 year old. My girlfriend and son have always had a good relationship and she has always treated him like her own child. She has never treated him any differently.
Recently though, and I believe this may be due to his depression, he has started to speak to her disrespectfully. He's known to have tantrums when he doesn't get his way and say some stuff that would be pretty shocking to the average person. Me, I've just learned to ignore it because I'm so used to it.
My girlfriend and I have been together for two-and-a-half years and my son has never turned on her until recently. She has been putting up with it for a while because she understands that he's autistic but she said that she can't take it anymore and she asked me to speak to him and try to explain to him that it is not okay to speak to people that way and that it's not very nice. She said she's worried that he's going to end up saying the wrong thing to the wrong person in there do not going to realize that he's autistic and they're going to hurt him.
I will be honest and say that at first I yelled at her and told her not to tell me how to raise my son. Shortly after this, I told her to just ignore him because he is younger cognitively despite what his chronological age is. She feels differently. She said that she feels that ignoring it is not the way to handle it and she also said that she's very hurt by my refusal to talk to him. She said that in her mind, it speaks volumes about how much I really care about her by refusing to handle this. She's ready to break it off if I don't talk to him.
I still think she needs to learn to just tune him out because of his autism. She needs to understand that he doesn't handle being upset very well and likely doesn't mean what he says. So AITA? ###### | YTA. His disability is not an excuse. I have two autistic brother, 1 low functioning. They know better because my parents taught them better. You are being lazy and using his autism as an excuse for your bad parenting. Sit him down and talk to him. If he is "cognitively a 13 year old" then he is cognitive enough to understand what respect is and how to behave.
Also, have a little more respect for your son. He isnt stupid. If you talk to him he will understand, you might just have to put it into terms that he will get. Put in the effort. ###### |
So in February my sister (12f) confided in me (21f) that she had started her period. Our mom died about four years ago so she didn’t feel comfortable telling our dad just yet. I told him and he had a conversation with her about it. I wanted to make her more comfortable with the whole concept of her starting puberty and stuff so I decided I would throw her a surprise period party. My intention wasn’t necessarily to embarrass her, like it’s my job as her older sister to humiliate her but I mainly just wanted to make her more comfortable.
I went all out. I got balloons printed, banners printed, made a cake with a pool of red icing and a barbie sitting in it, and I invited all her friends. My dad knew of the party and didn’t approve of the idea, but let me do it as he thought I knew what was best. He took my sister out shopping in the morning whilst we were preparing and then we could surprise her. A few of our family members were there too.
She came home and I was expecting her to find it hysterical. All her friends were saying they wish someone had done it for them and thought she’d find it funny. The second she walks through the door and realises what’s going on she starts crying and runs upstairs to her room, apparently absolutely mortified. I went upstairs to talk to her and she said I had completely humiliated her and that she didn’t want such personal business being spread around by me. She hadn’t told her friends she’d started her period yet. I apologised but told her I thought she’d like it and she told me to get the fuck out of her room.
I spoke to my dad after and we decided that I’d go stay with one of my friends until my sister had calmed down because she was being so over dramatic. Then quarantine happened and I was stuck at my friends house. I went back home today and my sister is still absolutely furious with me and being so dramatic. My dad is saying I was way out of line. AITA? ###### | YTA. Her period is her business, and without her permission, you had absolutely no right to tell the world. ###### |
Info- I met my boyfriend’s son about two months ago. He’s 13. My boyfriend was a single parent for most of his son’s life, so they’re really close.
His son often snuggles with him on the couch every night before bed, as he curls up next to him, he’ll say something along the lines of “Hey baby,” or “c’mere baby.”
He also calls him “baby,” whenever he wakes him up. He’ll sit on his bed and shake him awake, he’ll also call me “bubba and buddy.” That doesn’t bother me at all though.
Calling him “baby,” makes me uncomfortable. I feel like it’s weird. I just feel like a teen shouldn’t like to be called that. Would I be the asshole if I asked him to stop? I wouldn’t wanna hurt him or anything. It just kinda makes me uncomfortable.
Edit: Spelling ###### | YTA. He's going to be your boyfriend's baby as an infant, at 13, at 43, and until your boyfriend is dead in the ground. You are insecure because your boyfriend and his son have a close relationship. ###### |
I shared an apartment with 2 other guys. At some point I wanted to have sex so I invited girls over. The website that used host fake accounts. I got scammed and my room mates found out. They objected to me having prostitutes over.
For a little background. I lived with these guys for some time and me living was hardly anything to write about. They dont clean, dont do the dishes. They hardly talked with me. I made food for them invites them to so some fun things and they never did anything in return. After the night I got scammed they talked with me (one of the only times they showed any interest). They talked with me about that they thought I was angry about being scammed(which is was not angry about) and that they cared for me as a friend (in which I got really annoyed because holy shit do people only seem to care about me when they want something)
Another problem that arises is that they cant prove that the women that come by are prostitutes unless they ask. The second argument is that they have no right to intrude on my personal life.
Their arguments are ;is that they dont feel safe with those prostitutes around, which doesnt make sense because the women I have over didnt use bodyguards. They didnt trust them with stealing stuff, which is nonsense because I would let them roam around my house freely.
I just get so fucking frustrated. I need sex, that's a basic need that I want fulfilled. They shouldn't be bothered with me unless they get personally threatened. Which they never had been. ###### | YTA. Get a cheap motel. You’re not wise to bring sex workers to your home. Regardless of your roommates *you* shouldn’t want them to know where you live. The theft risk is later. Not when you’re paying them. Wise up bro. Do this better. ###### |
Pretty much the title. Throwaway
My roommate has a short hallway leading to to her room, she has claimed the space even though it is technically not hers.
She has a new age-y altar that sits in the hallway. It is filled with candles. It has dried flowers, money, sometimes honey and other things. She has a couple of different gods and religious symbols from different religions as the focus.
She has the altar all lit up tonight, and it looks really cool, so I snapped a few pictures of it and posted them on my Instagram.
She saw the pictures and came to me yelling and upset. She wanted me to take the pictures down. She wasn’t nice about it at all. She demanded that I take them down, rather than asking. She offered no explanation as to why I can’t post a picture of something in my house.
I told her that technically her “altar” is a public space and if she doesn’t want anyone to see it she should put it inside the room that she actually pays for. It’s mostly decoration anyway. Also if she wants me to take pictures down she can approach me appropriately.
She is not calming down though, so I’m wondering if this is really a big deal. If it is, I can probably smooth it over since it just happened AITA. ###### | YTA. Common area or not, it's not your altar. It's not your spirituality. It's hers, and you should not be appropriating it to farm Instagram likes for yourself.
It would seriously not be that hard, and would cost you nothing, to take that photo down. So I can't imagine why you're so unwilling to do that one simple thing unless you intend to be an asshole. ###### |
My wife got laid off from her job due to the pandemic. Since I work in an office, I get to work from home. My wife hasn't really been looking for new jobs, she will occasionally apply for a job on linkedin, but she isn't putting in a lot of effort in her job search.
However, almost every day she took the car out to see her friends/her parents/etc in spite of the whole quarantine. This has made me frustrated with her because she seems pretty nonchalant about not having a job. This is especially bad because if I need to use the car to go to the store or just to a park to relax, I have to wait for her to come back with messes up my schedule.
I should note that the car was mine before we got married. I decided to hide the keys to it and we had an argument. I told her she is forbidden from using the car until she starts getting serious about looking for a job. She yelled and told me I was being unfair. So needless to say, she's been pretty passive aggressive around me lately but I think my request is completely reasonable, she doesn't work so she shouldn't have the right to the car until she starts contributing. ###### | YTA. At no point do you mention having a discussion about this before hiding the keys. ###### |
My daughter (13F) insists on sitting in her room (on her computer) and doing her school work. She gets about 5 hours of work on weekdays and none on weekends. I would much prefer she sit downstairs in the living room and do her work so I can a keep an eye on what she's doing and who she's talking to. Apparently (according to her) she has to attend a meeting call with her peers and teacher for every lesson, she NEEDS to be in her room so no one disturbs her and so she has her notes to refer to.
We've been having some good weather lately and I've been asking her to go outside for walks and bike rides. Apparently she is too busy to go every day and now usually goes every weekend or so. I have screen time installed on her phone and she spends ONE WHOLE HOUR on her phone everyday! It's "essential" during the lockdown and she needs it to "contact her friends".
I finally had enough yesterday and decided to confiscate both her new computer and phone for a week. She will get them back provided she spend one hour outside every day for this week. She has an older slower laptop she can still do her school work on.
AITA? ###### | YTA. At a certain point, children need a certain amount of privacy to do their work or to concentrate. Also, an hour on her phone? That’s it? You got upset over an HOUR? ###### |
She’s 6 months away from being 18 so by then it’ll be out of my hands but until then I don’t want her to cut her hair, and I’d rather see her not get it cut for a very long time. She has beautiful long brown hair (down to her hips) and she wants it cut just below her ears but that would mean a lot of hair to be cut off so she’d lose her hair that she’s been growing for years without a cut. She says that it’s gotten too long that it’s high maintenance and gets tangled and messy easily but I think when she handles it, it looks nice and there’s no need to have it cut. I don’t want her hair to ever be cut (or at least for a while) and I rather not allow it but she’s always bringing it up and has even argued once and asked why I get to get my hair cut but not her, but that reason is because my hair needs to be cut because it’s not as healthy as hers since she’s young and I’m an older woman. Not to mention long hair like hers wouldn’t suit me. But since it does in her case, she should not get her hair cut. I want her to keep the long hair. ###### | YTA. are you a troll? Because this is ridiculous. It's not a "waste" to cut her hair, she enjoyed it and now she wants it gone. ###### |
My brother and his wife died, leaving their daughter, my niece, I'm sure a decent amount of money. She's very secretive about how much money it was, and it also came with the option to pay out their mortgage and own their house.
The house isn't great, but with location and lot size, it would probably sell for 500k, but the mortgage is obviously much less made it super cheap. She used part of her inheritance to pay off the mortgage, with the idea that she could safely ride out the country's turmoil there, even though it's not where she really wants to live, it's not a bad commute to anything. She's gutted the place and redone it to her own standards. She resisted living in the area for years but I guess now that she can do it without her parents around with whatever "freedom" she wants it's fine.
One of her cousins, who has an entire family that's on the verge of losing their apartment, may need a place to land. She isn't interested, and they may be homeless. Nobody else has the space or is remotely in the area. It's her or the shelter (if it comes to that).
We want her to share her house with them. She has two spare bedrooms. There's no reason that she can't sacrifice a little for family. They aren't bums, they will contribute what they can. Things have gotten heated, amd there have been threats of throwing her out of the family for being selfish.
She's chosen a victim complex, decided that nobody likes her anyway so she can "do what she wants" and is singlehandedly doing her best to split this family into two sides, those who see reality, and people who think a 25 year old should have her own house regardless of anything else because.... question mark I guess.
She is TWENTY FIVE. She's single (no wonder). She doesn't need an entire house to herself, and she certainly doesn't need to have whatever party house I'm sure she's imagining having. I'm not ASKING her to give it up, just share until there are more stable times. AITA? ###### | YTA.
It's her house. You are the asshole for telling her she has to let people live in her house, you are the asshole for cutting her off for how she manages her house. Whether or not you think a 25 year old should have a house is irrelevant. It isn't your house. It is her house. She's not trying to split the family, she's trying to keep control over her house.
Why not you and everyone else who isn't remotely in the area or having space pitch in and just pay their rent? Why should she have this massive burden alone? She shouldn't, you're an asshole. ###### |
My brother is 40 and to the best of my knowledge has never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I suspect he is gay though. He's never married. He announced last year that he was going to be a father and we were shocked. I thought maybe he got someone pregnant. No. He hired a surrogate and even more weird is that he used a donor sperm and paid for a procedure to select the gender. His son is due in August.
I told him he was incredibly selfish. He has an okay job, but no support system. If something were to happen to him, that child would end up in foster care. Our mother is in her 70s, our other brother doesn't want kids and I am in no position to raise a child. I told him he's treating this baby like it's a pet. ###### | YTA. "Do I have sufficient extended relatives" is a weird requirement for whether one is in a place to have a kid. It sounds like you're looking for excuses to look down on your brothers nontraditional path to parenthood ###### |
Okay, here is some background info. My wife and I are divorced, and my wife remarried a very wealthy man and I believe they are spoiling our daughter (12 F) and attempting to turn her against me (42 M). I work in a restaurant and am a single father, so I can't afford ridiculous luxuries such as new iPhones and air pods for my daughter every Christmas that she seems to receive over there. I finally had enough when she came to my house with an iPad that is worth half of my rent, and I told her that if she is going to walk around acting wealthy she should at least be able to help with the rent and other necessities. I made her get a job reffing local soccer games which she does all weekend (half of her earnings go to bills, the other half go in savings) and I restricted her from using the fancy tech she gets at her mother's. I feel that this will better prepare her for real life and have her be less spoiled, but her mother got wind of it and said that it was not necessary and is taking away the freedom from her childhood. They are both very angry with me. AITA? ###### | YTA. Allowing your 12 year old to work outside the home is a decision big enough that both parents should agree. Many states don’t even let 12 year olds work. It also seems like you’re just really salty about your child’s stepfather having money. Put your daughter above your pride and let her enjoy an iPad ffs. ###### |
My son is about to turn 23 and is about to graduate from college. He works full time and went to school full time in fall and part time in spring. He pays for all his own expenses like rent, food, insurance, and tuition so he is in quite a bit of debt coming out of this. I convinced him to let me claim his as a dependent for 2019 saying it won't affect him at all and it will save me 500 dollars. He agreed. Now he is inelgilbe for the stimulus check and demands that I pay him 1200 dollars. He was let go from his job, and has virtually no money for rent and other expenses. I told him this was a national emergency, and I could in no way forsee this and this was not my fault and life isn't fair. He is really upset about it.
AITA ###### | YTA.
You committed fraud to save $500 and you cost him $1200. The *least* you should do is offer to split the difference and give him $600. ###### |
So yesterday was my husbands 40th birthday. We’re Hispanic and pushing kids faces into the birthday cake is a big tradition. This also extends to adults birthdays, especially milestones. We have three children who are 10, 7, and 5. The 10 year old is very sensitive and caring and it’s been a difficult adjustment for my husband who grew up in a very macho household. He tries. He could be better but I know he tries.
Well my son hates the cake smashing and used to cry when his father did it to him. I defended my husband at first because it’s a cultural thing but since he’s the kid my husband struggles with the most I eventually put my foot down. I was worried that it was going to cause more resentment.
Anyway the kids wanted to play a prank on their dad so when I bought the stuff for his party I let them get a thing of cheap cupcakes to smash. He was napping by the pool and the kids were getting ready but I told my 10 year old that I think it’s pretty unfair that he’s about to do to his father when he doesn’t let us do it to him. He has so many boundaries and I try to get my husband to respect them but don’t dish it out of you can’t take it.
So the younger two did their prank and we had people over that evening. Both of our families are loud and kind of obnoxious and I know it’s a lot for my son but this morning he told he he doesn’t feel like he fits in and now I feel like an asshole. ###### | YTA? Your husband's boundaries should be decided by him? You intejected and stopped your son from being part of the fun..
>The 10 year old is very sensitive and caring and it’s been a difficult adjustment for my husband who grew up in a very macho household. He tries. He could be better but I know he tries.
Also can you give some examples? Seems his sensitivity is passive aggressively insulted... ###### |
So my gf and I have been together 4 months. We're both 27 and were happy. She has been texting her old guy friend recently and it's really starting to bother me. We dont get along with each other and she knows this. Apparently his cousin died but I doubt that and I think it's an excuse to talk to him . While she was asleep I changed her iPhone pin number so she can't get in and when she woke up I denied everything. (Throwaway for obvious reasons) I told her she must have been hacked by her IP. She is devasted because her granddad has cancer and she needs to be on a group chat for his appointment schedule (see who drives him to hospital whatever). I told her she needs to calm down and she can see him another day. She doesn't get paid for 9 days so she can't get her phone fixed by Apple til then
My friends say this is bad and i shouldnt have done this but i think shs shouldnt be texting that dude.But AITA? ###### | YTA!!!! What. The FUCK. You are 100% undeniably a huge asshole bro. How DARE you lock her out of her own phone and who are you to tell her who she can and cant be talking to????? You are NOT mature enough WHATSOEVER to be in a relationship, holy shit dude. I hope she finds this and RUNS.
Edit: WHAT YOU DID WAS ILLEGAL AND I HOPE SHE FINDS OUT ###### |
This happened early in March and I've been constantly thinking back on this because I don't know if I was being an asshole in this situation or not.
I was out on my run at a large park that is near by. There is a playground near one of the edges, and behind it there are a bunch of short nature trails that lead out to a parking lot. I was running on one of these trails and coming from the direction of the playground, I saw a black woman (she looked around early 30's) holding the hand of a white child (he looked around 7-9).
Unfortunately I know this is coming off as discriminatory, but the white child was very pale and the black woman was very dark, so I figured he wasn't mixed and that she wasn't his mother.
I ran past them but I stopped. I wasn't sure if the child was being kidnapped, and I'd rather be called racist and be wrong than not say anything and be right. I walked back up to them and yelled "HEY" to make them stop. They both looked at me and I asked her "is this your child?"
The woman glared at me and said no, she's watching him. I ignored her and asked the child "do you know this woman?" He looked nervous and said "yeah" which made me more suspicious. She took his hand and kept walking and I followed them out to the parking lot. I yelled out to her "if you try to leave I'll call the fucking cops on you."
She got on her phone and she yelled back to me that she was calling the mother's child to pick up her kid and give her a ride back to her own home. About 10 minutes of waiting, another white women pulled up into the lot and they both glared at me (She had told the mother what was going on during the phone call).
I realize they probably think I am racist, but I didn't want the child to risk being harmed. ###### | YTA!!!! On so many different levels!!! I am a black woman w biracial children and i have been afraid from DAY ONE that i would come across someone as racist as you when i had my younger children. All three of them look like me in various ways but are extremely fair complected. I cannot imagine the stress you put on a woman doing a favor for her friend and a young child...Riddle me this OP, if you saw a white woman w a black child would you have said a bloody thing??? I doubt it....bc people like you feel that white savior’ing is a worthy occupation...the fact that you stopped your run to assume that you needed to police a person who was ‘black while babysitting’ is disgusting to me... ###### |
I’ll try to keep this short. I got my dog as a birthday gift when I was 16 (23 now) and I love her. She slept with me every night, followed me everywhere, and only really paid attention to me. She is constantly right underneath me, but that’s what I love about her.
My boyfriend never really liked animals and being that she didn’t pay any attention to him, he was fine coexisting with her. When I would go home to visit my parents, he would occasionally stay behind and watch her for me. I started noticing that my dog spent less time following me around and would split her time between both my boyfriend and I, which was perfectly fine. He would take her on runs, they’d go to the park, and he would even let her ride in the car when he was going out for quick errands.
The problem started when he would skip out on little things to spend more time with my dog. We live together so I see him all the time, however if I wanted to watch a movie or play a game he would rather chill on the couch with my dog or take her for a run. I started getting really annoyed, because it felt like he’d rather spend time with her over me and when I asked him about it he said she was just growing on him.
I visited my parents about a week ago and took my dog with me, asking if they could watch her for a while and they agreed. When my boyfriend found out, he got upset and said that I was overreacting and called me weird for thinking he was choosing a dog over me. I feel bad, and it’s resulted in us spending even less time together. He’s hardly spoken to me since, but I don’t think he should be *this* mad over a dog that’s not even his. ###### | YTA! You seriously want to give your dog away (that you claim to love) so your boyfriend will pay more attention to you? He probably isn't mad because he is seeing the dog less, he is mad because he is dating a girl that would ditch her dog because she is jealous! ###### |
I (f45) have two sons, one is 20 and one is 18. This is regarding my older son. He’s currently at university studying medicine but is home at the moment studying online. He’s been in a relationship with a girl from his university city since last December and they seem really in love, but I do have my concerns.
I think a further education is crucial, and my sons girlfriend didn’t even finish high school. She’s in a good job as she has her own business but it concerns me. She seems to distract him a lot, but my son claims she massively motivates him and tells him to get his work done, especially at the moment whilst they’re long distance.
Yesterday my husband came downstairs and told me he could hear our son on the phone to his girlfriend. They call at least twice a day, for at least an hour each time. I went upstairs and asked him if he was talking to her and he said they had just finished. I told him I didn’t think they would last to the end of lockdown and that maybe he should consider just being friends with her at the minute so he can focus properly. I don’t disapprove of her, but in all honesty she isn’t what I planned for my son. She seems like a lovely girl but her lack of education does worry me.
My son has been furious with me as he told his girlfriend what I said and it really upset her. My husband has also said that I need to keep my nose of my sons business as he’s 20 now. AITA for telling him they won’t last? ###### | YTA! He got into med school, I'm sure he can decide what's best for his time management!
If you don't like her because you think she's under achieving, at least have the courage to say that to your son, rather than going on about what you think his priorities should be. Maybe you should ask him some questions about her and learn to understand what he sees in her, instead of trying to manage your son like a horse breeder. ###### |
I 23M have been living in a condominium building since January. When I first moved into this building this tall beautiful woman caught my eye who lived on my floor. We would usually get on the elevator together in the morning when we were heading to work. I introduced myself to her as her as we were waiting for the elevator months ago and we have been acquaintances since. Due to a lot of people working from home these days I stopped seeing her, until last night where I saw her in our mailbox room. I decided to catch up with her to see how she's doing.
She said she was bored and lonely. I decided to take this a sign and I told her she could come spend some time at my place whenever if she's ever gets too lonely. She then said "That sounds lovely. I'll grab your number if you want, but first I have to tell you that I'm actually a trans woman. Is that okay?" I was a little startled and almost jumped back because she didn't look like a trans woman. I responded "Oh. I'm actually straight so I don't think it would work out." She got defensive and said "That doesn't make you gay because I'm a woman." I replied saying I prefer women who are biological. She started getting aggressive in our mailroom and said how I should accept her for who she is and that i'm transphobic and an asshole.
AITA? ###### | YTA:
NOT because you don't want to date a trans woman. You aren't obligated to date anyone you aren't comfortable with. You are not in the wrong for basically not wanting to hook up with someone
The reason you are in the wrong is because of your disgustingly ignorant language and feelings. You're still straight and it is not gay to date trans women because she is, in fact, a woman. You were attracted to her because she is a woman but it's okay to be unsure about dating a trans woman.
But saying "she didn't look like a trans woman" is gross. There is no one way a trans woman can look, as there is no one way a cis (non-trans) woman can look. You can't tell who is or isn't a trans woman in the world, because women, trans or cis, come in all shapes and sizes and trying to look at stereotypes only harms everyone.
She was very open to you about her being trans, knowing that is a dealbreaker for a lot of people, and you kinda showed her that you maybe aren't the best person to be around right now.
Do I think you're a horrible horrible transphobe who cannot be redeemed? Hell no! I'm just seeing a lot of ignorance a lot of cis guys have when it comes to trans women. Just remember:
• there is no such thing as "looking trans" because it's all based on stereotypes that are harmful to everyone. Even something as big as having a beard is something non-trans women can have.
• you are not obligated to date anyone, so you are not in the wrong for saying no. That is not the issue here.
• the focus on "biological women" is a very... iffy concept and is not only a very rude thing to say that hints at (even unintentionally) saying she's not a real woman, but is just a weird phrase to say.
Op, I suggest maybe apologizing for what you said and asking her a bit about trans women so you know how to politely turn a trans girl down without saying some very offensive and rude things that basically all scream "I think you're a man" which is a very hurtful thing to say to someone who puts their life on the line to be who they want to be in life.
Best of luck to you and I hope you use this experience as a learning experience to not be so harsh and rude to people you don't quite understand! ###### |
Me(25f) and my bf(27m) live together.
Lately he's been watching this anime show called re: zero. At first I was curious to see what it was about but I find out that his favorite characters are extremely sexualized maids.
I ask why he's watching a show that has characters like that. He says that I have no right to dictate what he watches. AITA ###### | YTA: You can’t control what other people do, you’re an ass for trying.
Now if this is a deal breaker for you, you would not be an ass for moving on. ###### |
I have four boys - 16yo, 11yo twins and a 7yo. I can't explain it, but there has always been a buffer between me and my 16yo. The best way to describe it is like two magnets pushing each other away. I chalked it up to his wanting to be independent and expected that my other three would be the same. They are not that way. For example, I am very affectionate and playful with my other three kids and they enjoy and seek it. My 16yo was never a huggy kid and preferred to play with kids over me most of the time. I have a connection with the other three that I never had with my 16yo. He is like me in the sense that he has a strong work ethic and is an avid learner. He sets high standards for himself. I absolutely trust him. The biggest irony is that the one male who he is closest with his uncle from his mom's side.
I was having a rare meaningful conversation where I told him all of this. It just came out. I think he was both hurt and complimented at the same time.
I am divorced with their mom, but we co-parent equally. He is closer with her than me. ###### | YTA: You basically told your kid you had a favorite. NEVER TELL YOUR KIDS THAT. ###### |
Due to a fire in my apartment I [30m] temporarily moved in with my girlfriend [29f]. I thought it would be great but it has sucked.
She has really bad insomnia, so getting to sleep and staying asleep. She's been to doctors, and sleep tests, and has tried medication but she says the best solution she's found is sleeping for 4 hours, waking up for a few hours, then back to sleep for another few hours.
I thought I could deal with that but it was more. She hates sleeping next to people, which I didn't know until I moved in. She's says she's scared if waking people up and being woken up by people. I can see that because I have snapped at her a few times when she's woken me up.
This means she doesn't want to cuddle at night in bed. Its ok on the couch, but not in bed. The whole point of sleeping with your girlfriend is to cuddle, but she hates it. When I do convince her to do it, she's on her phone all night. She doesn't even try to sleep.
The past two weeks she's taken to sleeping on the couch instead of in bed and it's driven this huge wedge between us. I'm angry because she's given up even trying and it feels like she resents me.
This all blew over when she commented her back has been hurting from sleeping on the couch and she wanted to get a hotel room for the night so she could sleep. It was heavily implied I would not be welcome and would be staying in her apartment.
I lost it. It is completely a waste of money and a health risk right now. If she just tried sleeping in bed with me instead of the couch she'd be fine. She could take some sleeping meds and be fine, I know she's taken them before to sleep.
She left to go on a 'drive' to clear her head and I'm not sure if she's coming back tonight. Now I'm starting to feel like I was an asshole for yelling at her, but I have a point. Not sleeping next to me feels like she doesn't even want me.
So reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA: why aren't you sleeping on the couch? ###### |
I have a friend who went on the keto cult for several months and she managed to lose 110 lbs and she's much slimmer now. She's been so ecstatic about her weight loss that she turned her Instagram into a fitness page and she's really passionate about it and sharing her weight loss journey. She makes videos on her story about Keto tricks, exercises, and meal preps. She has about 5k followers and several of her followers ask her for advice regarding keto and "the right way" to lose weight. She responds to them regularly and gives them the advice she researched. I saw the comments and I texted her saying that she's giving out dieting advice to people who need a DOCTOR'S recommendation, not an undergrad's medical opinion of why keto should work for them. I told her that not everyone is the same and she could seriously damage someone's health by giving dieting advice to her followers, without them consulting a physician. She got really upset at me and had the nerve to call me jealous. But funnily I'm not. Am I in the wrong guys? She's only 20 like me and she's no doctor or dietician, just somebody who lost a lot of weight. ###### | YTA: she isn't claiming to be a doctor or dietician. People who succeed will always be approached for advice. Given that she lost SO much weight, no wonder people want her advice. It's none of your business. If people want to follow her advice without consulting a doctor, that's on them. You don't *just* lose 110 lbs. She clearly knows what she's doing and it's between her and her followers. You have no business butting in and telling her she's in the wrong. She's just telling people what worked for her and how it may work for them ###### |
Yesterday was Mother’s Day. Me and my wife have two boys. One is 7 and the other is 5. Yesterday I took mother out for a pick nick. Since we are in a pandemic, that’s all we could do. I made some food for me and my mother and we went to a park and we spent some time together there and then we went to her house (my childhood home)so we could talk and go through our old photo albums that I keep there. I don’t have my old pics at my house because some pics are embarrassing and personal and my wife doesn’t need to see them. Then we watched a movie and then I went back to my marital home. Today my wife is mad at me that I didn’t get her anything and didn’t do anything for her on Mother’s Day but I don’t agree with that because Mother’s Day means showing appreciation to your mother, not your wife and I did do something for her. My boys are independent and can look after themselves. I made sure to make food for them so they could eat whenever they want and I put the food on the table so they could serve themselves so that my wife won’t have to do it and I specifically told them not to bother my wife because their mother needs a break. But it was Mother’s Day and I wanted to spend time with my mother since I’m usually busy dealing with my wife and kids. I wanted my time alone with my mother to just talk and reminisce about our past and my dead father. Something that I rarely get to do. When I strike back at my wife with my argument, she didn’t say anything after that but she responded by saying, I shouldn’t be doing anything for you on Father’s Day. And I responded by saying: does it look like I give a fuck ?
I talked to my best friend about my wife’s behavior and he agreed that she is just being a bitch. But I wanted to get your opinions. Am I an asshole for doing something for my mother instead of my wife ? ###### | YTA: not just that, you’re a HUUUGE asshole!!
Your children are young. They are not “independent”. They need you there to show them how to be good and loving towards their mother, instead you tossed some food at them and left for the day. I bet I know who cleaned up after them, too.
THEN you got on the phone with your friend to air your marital trouble and let you friend call your wife a bitch?! W.T.F. Man? Like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK is **wrong with you**?! This is your WIFE not some hussy in the street. This is the mother of YOUR children!
You need to get your priorities straight and you need to apologize. You could have sent your own mom a card and flowers and promised to come see her next weekend for a picnic (which is the correct way to spell that BTW) and quality time together.
In the last 7 years of being parents have you always been this inconsiderate of your wife’s feelings? Did you ever help your kids make breakfast or draw a card or pick out flowers or a gift for your wife for Mother’s Day?
Did you *communicate to her* that you’d made some other plans for Mother’s Day before you slapped some food down for your kids and left the house for the day?
Dude. You’re the BIGGEST asshole here. HUGE. ###### |
Last night my girlfriend accidentally dropped her laptop down the stairs (our dog kind of jumped at her while she was going up). It still turns on but the only thing connecting the screen a keyboard are a couple wires and the screen is showing all those weird colors. Anyways she was freaking out about it and I helped get the hard drive out and connect it to my laptop. Luckily her documents were saved and I managed to transfer it onto her Ipad.
This morning she woke me up to ask if she could just access a few more documents through my laptop and I said cool. An hour or so later, I get up and see her typing up her assignment on my laptop on the couch. She said it would be easier since I don't even use it much right now.
Now my girlfriend isn't the most responsible person when it comes to taking care of things so I asked to rather use her Ipad and she was upset. AITA? ###### | YTA: look, she needs to get that work done, and accidents happen. Plus I’m sure she’ll be extra careful with your laptop, considering she just had hers broken and you helped save her data. If she isn’t, then you have bigger issues to deal with in your relationship. ###### |
So I have pretty good reason to suspect that my girl has been cheating on me. She’s just been generally acting shady and doing things that don’t make sense unless she’s cheating on me. I keep bringing it up kind of subtly but she just kept making jokes at my expense in response, so it just made me more suspicious. I also felt like she wasn’t fully addressing my feelings and concerns. It got so frustrating that I decided to be upfront about it and tell her about my suspicions. When I confronted her about it, she got pissed at me saying she was joking with me because the comments were so unfounded and ridiculous to her. She did not provide an explanation for the behavior that made me suspicious beyond that it’s “totally normal" and that me thinking it's suspicious doesn't mean it is suspicious. So I asked to see her texts and other things on her phone to prove she wasn’t cheating. She responded with “How dare you ask to see my texts” and that she is not sacrificing her privacy to satisfy my “unfounded” suspicions. If she wasn’t cheating on me, she’d prove it. When I pointed that out to her, she accused me of not trusting her and refused to show me anything. I don’t think what I’m asking for is unreasonable. AITA? ###### | YTA: it’s impossible to prove a negative. If she’s not cheating, and shows you her phone, are you automatically going to believe her, or are you still going to wonder because she could’ve deleted the messages? If you feel you can’t trust her, break up with her, but do it because of you not because she can’t prove it to you. ###### |
**Reposting because the mods locked my last post because of the fake names I chose for people.**
My husband (29M) and I (27M) live in the same neighborhood as my parents, my brother and his wife. We walk to each other's homes for dinner on a pretty regular basis.
My SIL (we'll call her "Jill") is, for lack of a better term, insufferable. Jill has been married to my brother "Jeff" for 3 years. Jeff is an engineer and Jill does not work, but will often talk about how she stays home with "the baby," which happens to be their german shepherd. This is especially annoying to me and my husband, who adopted a baby boy last year and who also both have full time jobs.
Jill is the kind of person who loves to say small jabs whenever she gets a chance. She also LOVES to talk about "how lucky she is" because since my brother has such a good, high-paying job, she'll "never have to work a day in her life." It's *insane* to me that she can brag about this around her husband's family, of all people. But that's just her mentality.
Last night, my parents, Jeff, and unfortunately Jill came over to our place for dinner. We started to talk about the the unemployment rate as a result of the current pandemic. Jill then said, "Well, fortunately for both of us, Jeff is still able to work from home, so we're gonna be just fine!"
I don't know why, but this comment just rubbed me the wrong way, and I blurted out, "Man, I'm pretty sure the reason I'm gay is precisely because of women like you."
My husband later told me that my comment was awesome, but Jeff and parents told me that it was unnecessary and rude. I told them that Jill is always bragging about how she's basically able to mooch off of Jeff and I had finally had it. They still think I was being an asshole though.
AITA? ###### | YTA: In this particular context, what you said was an unwarranted attack, and I'm pretty fed up with gay men thinking they have a free pass to insult women without reproach. Unless you have left out the worst of her behavior, it sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder about her/your brother's straight privilege? Which, ftr, I'm not denying exists. But her comment here just sounds grateful for their continued income when that obviously isn't the case for everyone else. You sound like you're doing a lot of comparing your life to theirs, and that perceived competition is causing you to hyper-analyze everything that comes out of her mouth. You are in no way a victim here. Get over it. ###### |
Throwaway, mobile, etc
My (28M) SO (24F) recently started noticing that her hairline was receding. She claims that it got really bad really fast and doesn’t know why. Now, she’s often one to overreact about everything, so when I found her crying in the bathroom about this, I went about my business as if she wasn’t there. I really, really do not care if she loses her hair, she’ll still be herself and I love her to pieces. She got mad about me disregarding her, and I told her, verbatim: “I do not care if you lose your hair. It doesn’t matter to me, and it shouldn’t matter to you, either. Looks aren’t everything, you’ll be okay!”
This somehow made her even more upset and now she’s crying by herself in our room. I do not see what the big deal is, and I genuinely will still find her attractive whether she’s experiencing hair loss or not. I’m wondering AITA? ###### | YTA: hair loss in a 24(f) is indicative of a medical issue—especially if it’s sudden. She’s probably scared. Also, she’s allowed to have feelings about her appearance that exist outside of how attractive you find her. Thirdly, it’s always shitty to dismiss someone’s feelings. You don’t have to validate the belief that prompts those feelings (ie I’m losing my hair and I’ll be ugly), but you can validate that she’s hurting. “Hey, I’m sorry this is stressing you out. I can tell you’re hurting over this.” ###### |
My 12yo nephew is getting a bit of a unibrow and bushy and seems to be unaware of it. So are his parents. I don't want him to be teased and doing something stupid like shaving it, so I pointed it out. I said "dude, you need to fix those brows. You need them waxed and trimmed" and it's something I do regularly like shaving my face. He resisted but he let me do it after I showed him pictures of really bad unibrows.
His dad (my brother picked him up) later on. Later I get an text from his mom asking what the fuck did I do to his eyebrows. I told her I fixed them. The funny part is that she instantly noticed that his eyebrows were done she saw them. She said I had no right to do it. I told her he's 12 and is old enough to decide himself. It's not a tattoo and even she has to admit he looks much better. ###### | YTA, YTA, YTA!!! It doesn’t seem like the kid had an issue with the way he looked until you convinced him he didn’t look correct according to your standards. This is so not cool. ###### |
I(37F) live with my kids(10F,13M,14M). I’m letting my nephew(16M) stay with me for few weeks. I have some rules in my house, such as: no locked doors, no phones after 9pm, wifi gets turned off at 8pm and turns back on at 11am, kids have to be up by 8am and make their breakfast, they should do homework, then they can play video games for 1 hour, then they read some books.
My nephew has been having a struggle following the rules. He has also been complaining about it. I understand that he has different dynamics at home but this is my house and he has to follow them. Last night we argued about “no locked doors” rule. I reminded him that I’m already doing him a huge favor by letting him stay with me and he should respect me and my house rules.
He called his parents and told them that he wanted to go back home. My sister called me and asked him to ease up on him a bit but I don’t think I should have to. I told them that he’d either follow the house rules or be grounded. ###### | YTA, your rules are shit. a 14 and a 16 year old have to be up at 8 am and can't lock their door? sounds like a nightmare. your rules are not reasonable and you need to consider why you think they are ###### |
My brother has two kids, 9 and 13. Their mother is out of the picture. Our family has been very supportive of him and his kids. My brother remarried and it was more of a "rebound" marriage for him and a marriage of "convenience" for her. My brother is a nice guy and makes good money. He only started to seriously date because his kids were older and he had more time. He was in one LTR that ended badly and then he started dating "Melissa." I was very suspect about her. Just like how my brother plays up the knight in shining armor, she played up the damsel in distress looking for her prince who would basically take care of her financially.
Long story short, they married two years ago. His kids do not view her as anything more than dad's wife. There is no parent-child bond. In fact, they have nothing in common with her. They don't like, but don't dislike each other. She's not particularly invested in them.
Lately, she's been bragging and complaining about being a "mom." The way she talks, you think she's talking about her own kids, but she has none of her own. She's talking about my niece and nephew. Often her brags and complaints are embellished as most parental brags and complaints are. Not too long ago, she was talking about how she feels like she's "failing my kids" in a lame "woe-is-Mom-ME" move. I couldn't take her and told her she wasn't a mother and no one seriously saw her as one either. I also told her that no one believes the marriage is going to last anyways and no one is even going to remember her.
And I am the nice brother! ###### | YTA, your brother should be the one having that discussion. ###### |
I try and stay fit. Keep some dumbells and bench inside my house. Work out 5-6 times Week at home currently. I think it has been start to rub off on her. She has joined past 3 days. Which I admire her for. If you want to change your life, take action. She has. Props to her.
Today was I working on my core. Push ups, Plank's, sit ups. 10 sets of 6 for all these, 60 reps. She joined a little late I'm my sets, I already had 40 reps done, i wasn't going to make her 60 reps. Told her just in where I'm at. I get my set in, she's doing her pushups but only was able to do 4 legit ones. I didn't say anything. Time for Plank's I, I do my minute. Her turn. She only lasted 27 seconds, which again I didn't say nothing. Left it alone. Last one is sit-ups, I do my 10, her turn only able to 6 legit ones without moving feet. This is where I say "Wheww you have long way too go". she said sorry, Her energy wasn't really the same after that.
After we actually get done with everything, she told me that comment made her feel bad. I told her I'm just trying to push you to work harder". I can't get everyone has to start somewhere but she isn't overly overweight or obese. When you ask or join me to work out I expect the same energy. Yes it the thought the counts but also it's the action too. You want to work out with me, I'm going to push you like how I would push myself. ###### | YTA, you're not her personal trainer, you're her SO. You should be encouraging and not condescending as fuck. ###### |
AITA for letting my boyfriend know that it bothers me he calls my family "our" family? We've been dating for 9 months and have a baby on the way (I'm 40 and he's 44). He's met my dad and sister maybe three times. He insists on calling my family members our family and it bothers me because I don't think he knows them well enough to call them that. When I told him it bothers me, he immediately jumps to saying I don't want to be with him and I'm pushing him away. I just feel that you need to get to know people first before calling them family. I've met his mom twice and, while she is my child's grandma, I don't consider her my family. AITA for feeling this way? My dad agrees with him that he's like family because he's my baby's father and will be moving in with me. ###### | YTA, you're having his child. You've been together a short amount of time but you clearly judged him as good enough to be having a child with him, so I think it's ok that he thinks of you as his family. By extension, he considers your family as his. ###### |
I’m a mom to three kids, 2F, 9M, 14M. A few nights ago, I walked into my teen’s room to put something up. As soon as I walked in, he threw something under his covers. When I asked what he had, he lied and told me he didn’t have anything, I got frustrated and lifted the covers up. I found a stuffed lion that he got when he was little, I thought he had donated it a while ago. I got mad at him for lying to me and took it, I donated it a few days later since he’s too old to be having a stuffed animal in bed with him. It’s been a week and he’s avoided me almost the whole time, he hasn’t talked to me unless it’s about chores. AITA? ###### | YTA, you're a psycho. Plus he didn't feel as if he could come to you and let you know he wanted to keep the stuffed animal. Keep that in mind ###### |
My daughter is an 8th grader entering 9th grade. All incoming students had to go to a sort of orientation today, where they would get their schedules, IDs, the like. She had planned for my wife to take her.
I am physically disabled from an injury and can’t walk. She didn’t want me to take her because she knew I wouldn’t be able to walk up stairs and I wouldn’t be able to pay her fees for her or sign forms. My wife pretty much forbid me from going, saying we have a puppy with separation anxiety that needs watching at home.
It was painstaking and tedious but I managed to hobble over to my car and drive there. When I got there my wife saw me, got frustrated and drove home, essentially abandoning my daughter there. My daughter was in queue getting her laptop, and needed a parent to come up to the second floor with her. She came out to the parking lot to get her mother and saw me in her place, asked for her mother, and when I told her I sent her home she blew up at me and told me I ruined her day for my own ego.
I only wanted to be involved in her education. Reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA, you were asked not to go by both your wife and daughter, yet you decided to not listen to what your daughter wanted and go anyways ###### |
My son came out as LGBT a long time ago, I have been supportive of him. I am not going to lie, I wish he wasn't but I know that's how he is and there is no changing that. I have provided him a college education and even told him I would help him if he went to law school. I bought him a car when he turned 16. Generally helped him out a fair bit.
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When it comes to my estate I was going to give it to charity, but over time I have gotten closer to my nephew and his children. So after some consideration, (I have not told them this) but I plan on sharing my estate with them.
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My son and I don't talk often, but last he called he was talking to me about that. I told him that I plan on giving it to my nephews children. He was angry, I told him that I gave him enough of a boost to do well in life. If he chooses to have a child through surrogacy or so that I will definitely give his children a portion of my estate. But as of now, it is going to be split between his cousin's children and charity.
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He is livid. I told him that I earned this money myself, I saved it. And I get to choose what I want done with it. He hates me for this. I don't know what to say, he is seeing that I am treating him badly because he is gay. I told him that if he was straight but decided not to have children I wouldn't give him money either. ###### | YTA, you try to control the life of your child with your money. This is abusive and disgusting.
It is your money, you can give it to whoever you want. But when u set conditions for how he will get the money it makes u TA ###### |
My roommate and I have been living together for a little over six months. She is a huge inspiration to me. She is gorgeous, I shape, intellectual, etc.
She’s put me on to her lifestyle. With her help I have lost just over 40 pounds since she moved in, i feel better than I have in my whole life, since I’ve been underweight since I was a child. She also introduced me to a lot of different food, movies, music, and other things. She has really helped me come out of my shell and I’m eternally grateful to her.
My roommate came back from a run the other morning, and she looked like she was glowing! I snapped a quick picture of her laughing at something silly that her dog was doing. I posted it to Instagram, and typed out a long caption about how awesome she is and how thankful I am for her help.
Everyone in the comments for the picture was calling her beautiful and congratulating me on my progress. My roommate care to me a couple of hours later and told me to take the picture down because she looked a mess. She told me she didn’t appreciate me posting it. That really hurt my feelings because I was singing her praises and trying to show my gratitude to her.
I told her that she looked amazing in the picture, and that she shouldn’t worry about it. Everyone was saying how beautiful she was. She told me she didn’t care, and wanted the picture taken down. I told her no, she should stop being vain. She tried to get my phone from me and delete it herself, and that’s when we got into an argument. She is trying to report me to Instagram, and publicly calling me a stalker for not taking the picture down.
This is out of character for her, so I’m wondering if I’m really an asshole for trying to show my appreciation to someone. ###### | YTA, you shouldn't post pictures of anyone without their consent no matter how beautiful you think it is ###### |
I know this isn't the practice for all people or couples, but I think it is good hygiene. This is even more true during summer when people sweat more and have more body oil.
In the past when she would spend the night, I never said anything, but now that we are living together and sharing a bed each night, I told her that she can't come home and crawl into bed without taking a shower. She has to take a shower unless she is sick or there's a good reason why.
She has taken this the wrong way and is viewing this as me telling her she is dirty, but it's not unique to her. I do this myself because I also would be gross if I didn't shower before bed. I don't think she is gross at all, and I think she actually would feel better and more relaxed if she took a pre-bed shower. I do.
She thinks I am being too rigid about, but to me this is all common sense and shouldn't be a controversial request.
AITA? ###### | YTA, you say in a comment that she showers in the morning, her hygiene is fine, you are being controlling in a very weird way.
>I told her that she can't come home and crawl into bed without taking a shower. She has to take a shower unless she is sick or there's a good reason why.
The thought that you feel like you can order her to conform to your (unreasonable) expectations and that she needs to offer you reasons for you to judge as to whether or not she is allowed to get into bed at night is pretty fucked up. ###### |
To start off me and my boyfriend are both childfree, but he is to the extreme he got a vasectomy but still begs me to use birth control and he uses a Condon. I suspect the reason he is this concerned is that he has a family history for certain learning disabilities.
He said he wouldn’t be able to handle having a child with a disability and since he’s a carrier of the gene he decided to forgo having kids altogether.
I told him I want to go off my birth control because it gives me acne and makes me gain weight. But he said if I go off it he’ll just stop having sex with me, I told him he’s acting dumb but he told me to stop infringing on his bodily autonomy.
AITA for thinking my boyfriend is being paranoid? ###### | YTA, you said he hasn't had the vasectomy yet and so he clearly just wants to ensure he doesn't risk getting you pregnant. He can't tell you not to stop birth control, but he still gets control over his body. He's right, you're trying to infringe on his bodily autonomy. ###### |
I moved in with my significant other of 2 years after my pay was reduced in February due to everything that’s been happening and it didn’t make financial sense for me to live in my own apartment anymore. My SO asked me to move in with him so I took up his offer. My SO is my ex-bf’s dad, and I’m now living in the home where my ex-bf grew up.
My ex doesn’t visit the house at all. I suggested to my SO that we should move everything out of my ex’s childhood room, let me use it to store some of my stuff, and let me use it as my personal office/lounging room. My SO agreed. So I boxed up everything in my ex-bf’s childhood room and moved them to the garage, including the furniture.
I’ve redecorated the room and made it mine. Before I even moved his things, I emailed my ex about this and told him he should come by and take a look at what he wants to keep and/or sell and/or donate. After not hearing from him for three weeks, today he texts me calling me all sorts of names for clearing out and taking “his” room.
I’m really trying to be sensitive and nice here, but he is making this very difficult with his rage-filled outbursts and texts. My SO and I are giving him a year to clear out his childhood stuff from the garage before I donate everything. Neither my SO nor I feel clearing out his room was inappropriate, but my ex is just melting down in an tantrum-filled rage. Why does my ex feel like he owns his childhood room when he doesn’t even visit? It is very sad and bizarre. ###### | YTA, you left your ex boyfriend for his dad? Then moved into his house and decided to clear out your exes room? I hope this is fake. ###### |
So I have pretty good reason to suspect that my girl has been cheating on me. She’s just been generally acting shady and doing things that don’t make sense unless she’s cheating on me. I keep bringing it up kind of subtly but she just kept making jokes at my expense in response, so it just made me more suspicious. I also felt like she wasn’t fully addressing my feelings and concerns. It got so frustrating that I decided to be upfront about it and tell her about my suspicions. When I confronted her about it, she got pissed at me saying she was joking with me because the comments were so unfounded and ridiculous to her. She did not provide an explanation for the behavior that made me suspicious beyond that it’s “totally normal" and that me thinking it's suspicious doesn't mean it is suspicious. So I asked to see her texts and other things on her phone to prove she wasn’t cheating. She responded with “How dare you ask to see my texts” and that she is not sacrificing her privacy to satisfy my “unfounded” suspicions. If she wasn’t cheating on me, she’d prove it. When I pointed that out to her, she accused me of not trusting her and refused to show me anything. I don’t think what I’m asking for is unreasonable. AITA? ###### | YTA, you don't trust her so leave. Cheating is the least of your worries right now. ###### |
This is extremely hard for us. I [54(M)] have three children's one is 22(F), 20(F) and 1(M). They both lives with us.
I will go straight to the problem, I pay for everything so they can concentrate on their studies. Due to medical conditions it is not possible for my wife to handle my son alone(This occurred sometime after his birth and completely unrelated) and neither I can spend too much time in the home. I expect both of them to take some responsibility and help their mother for at least hour or two daily. I am even ready to pay them some money for it. Younger one is okay with this but my older daughter is shaming both of us having children at this age. She is constantly arguing with us over this and told us we shouldn't have child if we cant handle him and I cant dictate her to do anything now cuz she is adult.
After her continuous rant I have decided to stop paying her fees and other help even though I am still allowing her to live with us(rent free) but I told her to move out within next three months. She is adult now and can her take own responsibility, my wife thinks I am being too harsh on her but I thinks it is time for her to learn valuable life lesson. AITA reddit? ###### | YTA, you cheated with the nanny and now your wife won’t accept a nanny for your son. It seems like you are leaving too much info out. Such sounds like a miserable household which the daughters stay only because you pay for their school. Don’t be surprised if they go nc with you in the future. ###### |
I’m going to try to keep this short. I have a 19yo cousin who has never had a job, doesn’t go to school and has severe anxiety. I bring her around my boyfriend and our friends a lot to help with her loneliness. She eventually started talking to my boyfriends band mate. I told calmly told her how I didn’t like that because my boyfriend has been working on music since before he knew me and we should respect his space. I also told her we need boundaries and I don’t want her talking to his friends because they’re a bit older (26-27) My boyfriend told his band mate the same thing and they both agreed to stay friends but they wouldn’t see eachother.
Fast forward a couple months and I find out she created an onlyfans account. The link to it was on her bio on Instagram. She didn’t post any nudes or relatively sexual as the pictures but she’d promote herself on the comments of those pictures. I look at the people she’s added and 1/3 of them were my boyfriends friends. She added 2/4 of my boyfriends band mates.
I think she thinks I’m being a hater but if I’ve expressed my boundaries to her before I think it’s fucked up that she disregards them. I told her she’s a really really pretty girl and she doesn’t need to be crossing my boundaries that she’s agreed to in order to be successful on that site. Needless to say she’s since blocked me from that Instagram but has me on her main one 💀 ###### | YTA, you can't introduce someone and then say that they are not allowed to be friends. ###### |
This happened back in September, but it's still a tension point for me. I'm nearly 60, and I have two daughters. First one is 26, still lives with me rent-free while she works full-time. Second one is 21 and in her last year of college.
My first daughter, who we'll call A, went to a state school and commuted from home and so her college tuition wasn't too hard on me, and she has no debts. Since she lives at home for free she's been able to save a lot of money. She helps here and there with groceries and such, but not nearly enough. My younger daughter, "D", chose to go to a private university out of state that's very costly, but I wanted her to have the full college experience and enjoy herself. However it's become very expensive for me to keep up with her tuition, rent, and sorority payments. The beginning of last semester I was about $12,000 short.
I asked A in September if I cold borrow $12,000 for her sister's tuition, promising that I would pay her back within the month. She didn't react well and said no, saying that she was uncomfortable with that and why couldn't her sister just take out a loan? But I don't want that, as D isn't very responsible with money and I don't want her to have that on her plate. As a result, I had to do a ton of extra work and dip into my stocks to pay off the tuition. I'm still pretty upset that A wouldn't loan me the money. We're family, does she not trust me? And I let her live here rent free, why can't she help out her sister? AITA? ###### | YTA, you can't force the responsible daughter that chose to go to an inexpensive school and commute to shell out $12,000 because her sister is going to some crazy private university. Your older daughter probably feels slighted by the whole thing anyways because you are showing obvious favoritism to the youngest! If you are unhappy with your older daughter living at home for free, then tell her to move out, but you can't use a previously established deal as a bargaining chip to guilt her into paying up.
Why are you prioritizing the happiness of one daughter over the other?
Not to mention I find it hard to believe that someone who could pay back $12,000 in a MONTH doesn't have the cash already. Hey, I don't know your financial situation, but it seems UNLIKELY that you wouldn't have had to dig into your stocks anyways. ###### |
Me (18M) and my boyfriend (20M) have been dating for a few months now. Before quarantine kicked in we lived together on the same floor at our university hall. The food there is catered, and both of us would always go for the vegan option. When I asked him if he was vegan too, he said he was, and we both kinda got really into it.
We were both in Facebook groups for vegans in our city that gave tips for cafés, recipes, etc. and a lot of the time he would fight with non-vegans online. He would get mad at people and talk about the rampant exploitation and torture of animal lives.
Safe to say, I was VERY surprised to find out than he was eating meat after we both went home for quarantine. He’s gone back to his childhood home and his parents refuse to cook vegan food. We were talking on FaceTime and I asked him why he doesn’t just buy vegan food for himself, and even offered to help pay for it if it was a money thing, but he was dismissive of it. I called him out for it by calling him a hypocrite for parading around his care for Animal Rights just to turn around and eat meat. He got mad at me and said he would go vegan again when quarantine was over, but for now, his situation is “easier”. He hung up shortly after.
I feel like he is still mad at me. Maybe quarantine has been wearing me down emotionally, but veganism is important to me and finding out it wasn’t as important to him as he presented himself to be... it feels like a betrayal. I don’t know if I should apologise or drop it fully or break up or what. AITA? ###### | YTA, you can't control his dietary choices. I completely understand you wanting to be with someone else who is vegan given it's important to you, but it's unfair of you to force that on him, so either accept he isn't vegan or break up with him. ###### |
A friend of mine started dating this girl, they are long distance. Now I love my friend he is a super talented engineer but he is a bit socially stupid. He hasn't dated any girls before and now started dating a girl that is nothing but red flags. She is a single mom and the way she describes her life as if she is a perpetual victim. To add to that all of her ex's been large tattoed men and now she is dating my engineering buddy when he met her at a conference.
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Again I told my friend to be mindful just because this is his first relationship and he is pretty experienced... But now he told me that she has been online shopping a lot on his credit card (she has his amazon account). But then he told me she spent $50 at CVS...
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I told him the only reason people spend that type of money at a pharmacy is to buy Plan B... (this was 6 days ago) and he hasn't seen her since January...He told me how dare I accuse his girlfriend of cheating. I told him to ask in our guys groupchat.. He asked and everyone called him an idiot. Now he is mad because he thinks I told our friends before hand. I am like no, if someone spends $50 at a pharmacy its 99% for that reason. ###### | YTA, you are sounding extremely sexist and misogynistic, being a single mom is absolutely NOT a red flag, and I can easily spend $50 at a drugs store in makeup, hair products, and snacks. ###### |
My boyfriend (23M) and I (18F) have been dating for a year. We met at university. He has met my parents and grandparents, and they really like him.
Yesterday my immediate family and I went to the cottage. Not technically our cottage but a friend’s that we borrowed from. My BF was invited. My family is Christian, and my grandmother especially was adamant that I don’t share a room with my boyfriend. She says unless we’re married we should not sleep together.
So I was supposed to sleep in a room with my cousin and sister while he slept in his own room.
Anyways my BF and I were playing pool in the basement at around midnight. Nearly everyone was asleep. He told me to sleep with him for the night. I reminded him that I’m not allowed to, and he said I’m an adult now and I can do what I want. He took my hand and led me upstairs to his room.
I wanted to get up early and sneak back to my room before anyone could notice but I woke up after most of my family. My BF was already downstairs. I was eating outside by myself when my grandma found me. She said she asked my sister where I slept last night, my sister told me I never came to the room. My grandma said she was very disappointed in me and that she expected better from me.
She also said that I should have set a better example for my little sister, and that I embarrassed her in front of her siblings (my great-aunts, who were also there). My mom was also upset at me but she didn’t lecture me or anything.
I felt really bad afterwards. My boyfriend said my grandma is overreacting and that we did nothing wrong, we’re not even at my house. He says I should stay in his room again tonight but I should remember to sneak out earlier.
Was I disrespectful by not obeying my family’s rules? Would I be TA for breaking the rule again and sleeping in my BF’s room? ###### | YTA, you and your boyfriend. A rule was set by the people who arranged to borrow the cottage and who are, presumably, footing the bill for any expenses while you're there. It is really disrespectful to violate that rule just because you don't agree with it. Also, your parents and grandparents DID really like your boyfriend - they likely don't anymore because of this. It is a few days of separate beds, not weeks or months. Suck it up. ###### |
I don’t mind that my girlfriend hasn’t shaved her legs in a few months, because we’ve just been home together, and she has always worked from home so shaving her legs really only happens when we’re going out somewhere nice and she’s wearing a dress and doesn’t want to wear tights or if we’re having a beach trip.
Well since we’re not comfortable going out, it’s been a lot longer since she’s last shaved and her leg hair is getting a little long. Every night she rubs her legs against mine and it just feels weird, and sometimes itchy on my own legs and makes it hard to sleep.
I told her I didn’t care if she shaved or not but if she could put pants on before bed so I could sleep better. She laughed at me thinking I was joking but when she realized I was serious she got pretty annoyed with me and said she isn’t putting pants on when my “hairy legs rub up against her all night”.
I thought I asked for a pretty reasonable request. ###### | YTA, why don’t you just put on some pants if it bothers you? ###### |
Getting set up on a date that didn’t work. Was I an Asshole.
So many years ago when I was single and dating. I got set up by friends with a girl for a date
Friends of her,friends of me. They thought we’d click. But I didn’t get that connection.
We didn’t really click. But everyone said just go out for a date or two. So we did.
We had coffee. We had beers. We went for Walks. Etc.
All she did was talk about another guy. Constantly. Like a lot. An awful lot.
We went to a movie premiere. I got us great seats. She started to talk about him again.
Just as the movie just as it started, I asked her if she wanted popcorn.
She said yes...extra butter and a large pop.
I walked to the lobby, exited the cinema and got on a fucking bus home.
The end. ###### | YTA, why didnt you end it earlier? ###### |
My wife is terminally ill. Because of that, she has been unable to show me any forms of physical affection and the spark in our marriage is nonexistent.
We cannot divorce because the legal logistics would rattle shareholders in our company. Therefore, she agreed I could see others if I kept it away from the family.
I have been dating this woman for about a year. At first we were careful not to show PDA when we went out but over time she told me how much that hurts so we started being affectionate when we were out on dates.
A few months ago, somebody from my daughter’s school took a picture of me kissing my partner and posted it on social media. My daughter ended up throwing a tantrum because it was a topic at her school and she got a bunch of comments and questions.
I explained that it was an agreement that her mom and I had, and I deserve to be happy.
Things have just cooled down, but for my birthday yesterday, my partner ended up sending me a present and a note that said she loved and missed me. She also sent my daughter a card congratulating her on finishing middle school.
My daughter started screaming at me that she wanted this woman out of our lives. My wife also got mad because my daughter was sad, claiming I wasn’t keeping it away from the family and that I let this present thing happen in front of my daughter’s best friend, who she invited over for cake.
However, she forgets that I really wanted to spend time with my girlfriend for my birthday but I abandoned that desire for the sake of the family.
My girlfriend makes me feel loved, and I love her very much. She has given so much to me, and I refuse to let go of my happiness because I feel my daughter would understand if she was older.
AITA? ###### | YTA, where to start? So much for "in sickness and in health," I guess, or were the vows at your wedding "in health and such other times that my sexual needs are 100% met, otherwise forget it"? And your wife is compassionate enough to okay your affair with ONE rule and you go out and break it and complain about it being unfair even though it has caused your wife and your daughter a ton of embarrassment? And then you're kind of being a jerk to your girlfriend and your company as well because it sounds like you're leading both of them on? And then there's poor daughter's best friend, the innocent bystander to all this drama, and her parents who had to get an earful of what went down at OP's house on his birthday. Yikes, who in your life haven't you hurt? ###### |
Throwaway... Also please don't just assume 'YTA' just because of the title.
So I like painting/drawing, it's a great hobby of mine, and I love to do it in my free time.
My gf is a very clumsy girl. She'll trip on air. Which is surprising since she loves to bake. She can bake really good cakes/desserts, tho the clumsiness sometimes makes her drop flour, eggs etc. And she has broken a few glasses, but she has always paid for me to get them back, so it's not really a big issue.
So since we're all staying inside I decided to paint, and I spent like 4+ hours on it (with breaks of course) and the final project was amazing. One of my best artworks. I was ecstatic.
I asked my gf to come and see it to give her opinion and what it looked like. She came in a few minutes and told me it looked amazing, and that I should sell it. She then got up to make some coffee and I decided to add some final touches and stuff.
So then when I was doing it, my g.f comes in, with the hot coffee, and...
*Spills it all over my painting.*
She immediately started saying sorry while saying she'll pay for a new canvas, new supplies, and other things.
I got really mad, and started yelling at her for being clumsy, and told her she couldn't repay me hours of my time and effort, that maybe she should watch where she's going before she ruins something else. And then we didn't really talk, and I came back to a ruined dry, messy canvas.
I went to sleep, and in the morning woke up to her making breakfast and apologizing. The house was all clean, and she made my favorite cake and stuff. I forgived her, tho I'm still a little mad over it. But I feel a little guilty...
So aita for yelling at her reddit? ###### | YTA, though I understand when you pour time and effort into your craft, having someone ruin it (even unintentionally), elicits an immediate, emotional response. My AH verdict lies in my perception that you shamed her for a mistake she immediately regretted, then went on to shame her for a thing she can't control (her clumsiness), then felt after all her efforts to make it up to you, you, "forgave," her, but don't indicate you offered her anything in return for your outburst.
There's an actual neurological condition called dyspraxia. There are people who will enter into adulthood undiagnosed, with their loved ones laughingly characterizing them as clumsy, and they never get a diagnosis. Could your girlfriend have dyspraxia? I don't know, but it is worth evaluation. ###### |
She’s 6 months away from being 18 so by then it’ll be out of my hands but until then I don’t want her to cut her hair, and I’d rather see her not get it cut for a very long time. She has beautiful long brown hair (down to her hips) and she wants it cut just below her ears but that would mean a lot of hair to be cut off so she’d lose her hair that she’s been growing for years without a cut. She says that it’s gotten too long that it’s high maintenance and gets tangled and messy easily but I think when she handles it, it looks nice and there’s no need to have it cut. I don’t want her hair to ever be cut (or at least for a while) and I rather not allow it but she’s always bringing it up and has even argued once and asked why I get to get my hair cut but not her, but that reason is because my hair needs to be cut because it’s not as healthy as hers since she’s young and I’m an older woman. Not to mention long hair like hers wouldn’t suit me. But since it does in her case, she should not get her hair cut. I want her to keep the long hair. ###### | YTA, this is very creepy and I think you need to get used to the idea that she will cut her hair. She could donate it and help a lot of people! ###### |
My mom is a medical worker. She doesn't come in direct contact with COVID-19 patients. Her hospital doesn't treat them. but we can't be sure about asymptomatic ones. She gets to come home around 4 PM for around 1.5 hours everyday. She has facilities of living and eating in a quarter at her hospital. It's obviously necessary to disinfect herself and her belongings. After all these she gets very little time before she leaves. She collects herbs we grow at our home, after every 3-4 days. Not everyday.
I am having too much university work to do from home. Disinfecting things take so much time of me and dad. I don't have any problem with her coming when it's necessary or even when she wants to after some days. It's her home too. I feel her coming everyday as a routine for no reason reasons on some days, takes up my time unnecessarily. If she stays there she can relax too. I don't want to sound like I am unwelcoming her in her own home. I am not even asking her to come only to collect herbs every 3 days. I want her to leave one day so I can work that day fully. Is it too much to ask her this? ###### | YTA, this is probably her mental break time. Yes she has space at the facility for her breaks between shifts, but I can only imagine how draining her work must be, and sometimes you need that change of scenery to actually break away from it. ###### |
Backstory: I've been with my husband for nearly 5 years, married late last year. He has a 6 year old from a previous relationship.
When we first me to was about 3 months before I met his kid (even then it was as a playdate with my nephew) and about 6 before he introduced me at his partner and I actually started spending proper time with the kid (so we took it really slow basically)
anyway hes 6 now we have a pretty good relationship with his mother (for the most part) and I have a lot of respect towards her as she is his mother and I'm not trying to replace her in any way shape of form. The 6yr old doesnt even refer to me as step mum or mum.
My issue is that I feel I have been there in every way that I can since I came into his life yet she says she doesnt want me involved with his schooling (parent teacher interviews ect) or mediation, custody agreement (which I feel impacts me as much my husband his father) and my husband agrees with me yet doesnt say anything to her about it as he doesnt want to ruffle feathers. He just let's her get whatever she wants. I feel if it wasnt for me he wouldnt even be in mediation which has granted us more time with my stepson.
So AITA for wanting my husband to stick up for me or should I just back off and be thankful that I get to be in his life as much as I am? ###### | YTA, this is not about your husband sticking up for you with his ex. She is the mother and he is the father.
As a family court lawyer, in my opinion, it’s highly inappropriate for you to get involved in the legal proceedings/mediation/school meetings if the mother is uncomfortable with it. I acknowledge that these things may affect you but you do not need to be “directly” involved. ###### |
Throwaway for obvious reasons but I need to know if I’m wrong here. Yesterday I overheard my roommate talking shit about me not doing the dishes for the past few months. And while she’s right, I have a good reason for it. I’m an essential worker and since I’m so high risk, the last thing I want to do after a long day of work is do the dishes. I explained this to her and she said she’d take over my duties so I don’t know what her deal is!
Today she came to me and asked to talk, I said sure and she basically said that since the country has reopened she’s done with doing my share of the chores and wants me to take them over again. I find that ridiculous! Yes, everything’s reopened (way too soon imo) but that doesn’t mean I should have to sacrifice my mental health. So I said, “you know you’re constantly riding my ass about my hygiene but I never bring up yours. You’re like 3 times my size and take shorter showers than me, what’s up with that??” Her eyes welled with tears and she left. Now she’s staying with a friend.
I told my friend what happened and she called me a jerk. Honestly, I don’t see the big deal. She IS 3 times my size (I’m 100 pounds and she’s probably 300) and she said it was fine for her to take over my share of the chores! Honestly, she probably IS dirty I take nice 20 minute showers and she maybe takes 10 minute showers on a good day. She doesn’t stink but I don’t think she’s clean. So reddit, AITA for giving my roommate what she deserves? ###### | YTA, there was absolutely no reason to bring her size or showering habits into the conversation. If she's working as well now that restrictions are being lifted then you really have no leg to stand on. She wasn't even riding your arse about hygiene she just wants you to do your own dishes from the sounds of things. ###### |
So my wife and I have been doing a game night every so often with some other couples via zoom since we can’t go out and see people lately.
We were playing this card game that was like basically a trivia game for couples to play and you are asked a question and you write down your answer and your partner has to guess what they think you answered. If they guess correctly your team gets a point. Whichever couples knows each other the best wins.
So some of the questions in this version were a little spicy and one of the questions was “Who is your dream man/woman to have sex with.” I wrote down my spin instructor, since my wife knows I think she’s hot, and thought she’d guess her and we’d get a point.
Well, fuck me, turns out every other husband either wrote down their wife or a celebrity/fictional character.
My wife was livid, and upset. I tried to explain I didn’t actually *want* to do anything with my spin instructor and I would never even briefly consider being unfaithful, it was just me trying to play the game. She doesn’t believe me, saying everyone else’s instinct was women who didn’t exist or better yet, their wives. I feel really bad, but also really confused. Is she overreacting or am I an asshole?
(And no need to tell me about the Curb Your Enthusiasm Episode. No I hadn’t seen it. Yes I’ve seen it now. Almost every man there sent me references to it as soon as the video was off.) ###### | YTA, the fact you answered a real person that you could actually genuinely cheat on your wife with makes you an asshole. I'm not sure what's hard to understand about that? ###### |
My son and DIL recently had a baby. They were at our house last night and my wife's God father was there as well. My wife's father was kind of a creep. He had multiple wives and a couple of them were younger than my wife, and this was his best friend so he is a bit of a womanizer, but a very nice man. My children have known him their whole lives.
He commented that it was a shame the baby doesn't look like my wife. I mean it kind of is. My wife is stunning and got a pretty easy ride out of it, but I can understand why a new mother wouldn't want to hear that. He made another comment about it's such a shame the baby didn't get my wife's green eyes because she would have been so beautiful.
DIL said looks don't matter and he kind of laughed it off. He then told a kind of embarrassing story about my wife's modeling days, but she laughed it off. DIL wouldn't let it go and asked why he sees his God daughter in a sexual light and why he cares so much if the baby looks like my wife. My wife told her to let it go and she called him a creep.
I told my son he needs to take his wife and leave because she isn't going to insult a family friend in our home. Now DIL is saying she is stressed about having us around the baby because we didn't shut him down. I mean I don't know what she wanted me to say, but any child would be lucky to look like my wife. ###### | YTA, sounds like the guy is a creep and she called it like it was. "A bit of a womanizer, but a very nice man". Nope, he's a creep. Just accept it and tell him to stay in his lane next time he gets creepy (if you still insist on having him in your life). EDIT: This is some typical boy club "boys will be boys" ish. ###### |
I am honestly so heart broken right now. I can’t believe this is actually happening.
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I’ve been dating my ex for 3 months. The last month we had multiple arguments and I decided to break up with him. None of us were really hurt by it since he also stopped having feelings for me.
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1 week after I broke up with him my friend started dating. I can’t believe this is happening. She always had a crush on him and she told me this before I even started dating him so it’s obvious she waited all this time for me to break up with him so that she could ask him out. What kind of friend is this? I got so upset and I told my other friends about her and asked them to stop talking to her.
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I am not mad at my ex boyfriend at all, but I’m pretty upset with my friend. I would never do something like this to her, and to date him 1 week after I broke up with him? Well I think thats fucked up. Not only that but she recently texted me telling me to stop spreading bullshit things about her and her boyfriend and that I have no rights to complain about it since I also started dating 3 days after I broke up with him. But this is not the same thing. I am dating somebody that she does not know but she is dating my EX. We had a massive argument and she blocked me everywhere. I am now posting about her and letting people know what a shitty person she is for doing this to me and I am also doing this here.
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Please help me and let this post gain traction. Let her see how many strangers believe she is an asshole. Please upvote this and help me get this message to her. If I couldn’t give her the wake up call you guys do it instead. Unless you believe I am the asshole then in that case I would love to hear your thoughts about it. ###### | YTA, so much so that I’m having a hard time even believing this post lol ###### |
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