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I (20M) have responded very well to this lockdown. I live in the UK.
I've tuned out all the news (blocked it all) and have isolated myself further from even calling friends. I've focused on myself and went deeper and deeper into the depths of my mind. I've underwent a voyage into my mind. An odyssey of sorts.
I'm mentally and emotionally growing. I'm figuring things out that would take years to figure. I've confronted the darkest corners of my mind, and came into the light.
My sister (22F) on the other hand has struggle because she can no longer party and meet up with friends. She started crying and I told her that she needs to confront her demons ans go deeper into her mind like I did. I then said "I'm grateful for the lockdown". She then call me AH and left.
Maybe I was AH idk? I just feel she Is wasting the opportunity to go deep into her mind like I did. I meditate 2 hours a day to go into my mind and see my worst memories... and I have come to the other side. AITA? ###### | YTA. No longer able to party? It actually sounds like she's lonely and isolated, and who knows what else is going on. It's great that you are able to benefit from this and spend a lot of time meditating, but not everyone is in a position to do that.
Responding to her crying by telling her that she just needs to meditate more is dismissive. How about comforting your crying family member and listening to her, instead of going on about yourself? ###### |
My 14 year old son decided a few days ago that he was going to uninstall Windows on his laptop and install another program called Linux on it instead. I told him that I didn't care either way as long as he can still do his schoolwork on it.
The very next day, our desktop computer as well as his dad's laptop both got infected with a virus, our Dropbox got hacked, and we lost a bunch of our important files. There are no computer repair shops open near us right now, so we became stuck using my daughter's laptop until they open again. I am fairly certain that this is a result of my son installing Linux on his computer, because this happened to *two* of our computers right about the same time he installed Linux on his. I told him this and took away his computer so that he can't do any more damage with it, but he got angry told me that this is impossible.
Today, I looked up online how to reinstall Windows on a computer, followed the instructions, and installed it onto his computer with a flash drive. Once I reached the stage where he needs to input his information, I gave the computer back to him, told him what I did, and told him to never install anything dangerous on his computer again. He completely freaked out, started crying, and said that all of his files and his schoolwork are now gone because I wiped his hard drive. I told him that he should have thought about that before infecting our other computers, and that he should have backed up his files.
I had to do this in order to protect our other computers, but I'm wondering if I should have told him ahead of time before I did it. AITA? ###### | YTA. No excuse in this day and age for an adult to be this tech-illiterate. You cost him tons of hours of schoolwork probably and chances are he’ll have a hard time convincing his teachers that his parents would actually do something so stupid simply because they managed to screw up their own computers, probably with questionable porn sites or other risky clicks. Maybe you should know what you’re doing next time before making ridiculous assumptions and wiping out tons of work. ###### |
I’m 17, and I have a foster sister (16) that’s been with us for around 8 months.
I’m cordial with my foster sister but we don’t really get along. When she first got here I caught her several times trying to wear my clothes, makeup, and trying to use other things that belong to me. We got into big arguments about it, and I feel as if my parents rewarded her by buying her her own stuff sometimes, while not getting new stuff for me.
Yesterday, my friend invited me and foster sister out to their family lake where we were going to hang out with some other friends. Some people in my friend group from school like foster sister, so they wanted her to come. I didn’t, because I find her annoying and I wanted a break from her. Since they messaged her with the invite, I told my parents to check out her messy room. My parents are pretty strict about that so I knew they wouldn’t let her go.
I sent her a text saying I’m sorry she couldn’t go and told her that I’d say hello to everyone. She posted a screenshot of it on her IG telling everyone that it was my fault she couldn’t go. A couple of my friends text me and asked me what my problem was, and others piped up about not letting me come either. Because everyone was getting mad at me, I posted pics that I took of her room, so that I could show the real reason that she couldn’t come.
She must have gotten embarrassed, because she came into my room and immediately started arguing with me.
My parents had to break it up, and she told them what I did. They wouldn’t let me leave either, which I think is completely unfair.
My mom is super mad at me and won’t listen to anything I have to say. I posted the pic because she was trying to make me look like the asshole in front of my friends. She knows my parents like the room kept clean, and if it was done she would have been able to go so I don’t think It’s my fault. My parents aren’t even talking to me, so if feel like maybe I did wrong.
AITA for posting the pic? ###### | YTA. My parents used to foster kids and I sometimes would get really annoyed with my foster siblings, too. But I never *bullied* them, which is what you are doing by trying to exclude her from hanging out with friends. I was half your age at the time and I still wasn't so childish as to do that.
You're almost legally an adult; time to start developing some empathy, FFS. ###### |
The title sounds bad but it isn't that bad.
So my daughter has this friend who has all the kids in her grade falling head over heels for. I thought it was an exaggeration but she's literally that girl in high school.
Now this friend posted a picture of the two of them on their 'friendship page' on her birthday yesterday. Everyone was just giving dozens of comments on the friend and said nothing about my daughter at all. I think there were only two who said happy birthday to my daughter. She was upset over this because she got non of the attention. She asked me if she was pretty.
As first I thought I should give the whole 'of course, you're so beautiful, these guys are just crazy' speech but I couldn't see any benefit from that so I gave it to her straight. When I told her she wasn't she was taken aback but when I explained she was much better. I said something around the lines that she doesn't have the looks but that doesn't matter. Told her she had an amazing personality and is just an amazing girl. I pointed out that she had the world's greatest eyes (might biased but it's true) and that her smile is contagious (which it is). Mentioned that I wasn't a looker when I was a teenager but my confidence got it me places. She was a bit quiet but she thanked me for it. We hugged and I left feeling like I gave the greatest parent speech ever.
However when I told my wife this she went mad. She says I was basically insinuating that she was ugly with the classic 'personality matters' speech. I still think I did great. Aita? ###### | YTA. My dad and I are extremely close and I remember SO many things he has mentioned over the years. I still remember all the times I would get ready for school thinking I looked so cute and he would come and point out my big zit or something. I say this because, as a 33 yr old, I STILL remember things my dad told me growing up. Guaranteed that your daughter is going to remember the moment her dad told her she wasn't "a looker." ###### |
My girlfriend likes to play this game "The Arcana". It's one of those corny visual novels where you get to romance characters. Earlier I had no problem with her playing the game but now she has gotten obsessed.
She plays the game whenever she gets time after working and doing housework, she only spends time with my at night and ignores me when I try to talk to her. She also CONSTANTLY sketches and draws the characters from the game but gives special preference to a character whom she admits looks a little like a guy she once had a crush on.
All of this got really on my nerves because I told her that she must stop playing the game because it makes me uncomfortable and I didn't like her playing it. She brushed me off and said she only played it for the "art" and "story" and "music". We all know that's not why women play games like these.
I got super irritated yesterday because the obsession had gotten worse and now she also started playing the music from the game on her guitar. So, I just took her phone and uninstalled the game from it yesterday morning
She didn't notice untill yesterday afternoon and when she discovered the app wasn't there anymore
She. Fucking. Flipped.
She was telling my how I had violated her privacy and how I was disgusting for being jealous of a fictional character. She hit me below the belt and said that she never minded if I said some character in one of my games was so hot. I told her that I wasn't obsessed like she was.
She isn't talking to me and is just being very bitchy because she didn't backup her progress and it's lost.
I think this proves that she was indeed obsessed with the game. ###### | YTA. Maybe she’s obsessed about the game because it offers a respite and an escape from your entitled, loutish behaviour ###### |
Let me start off by saying that I love my parents and would do anything for them but yet on some level I blame them for me being born with autism, albanism, vision impairment, OCD & others. I know it’s not directly their fault as they didn’t take any tests to determine if I was normal however my mum had 9 miscarriages before me and I was born 1 month early and spent 3 months in the NICU. She is a diabetic and was told that having a baby could present complication to her and me. ###### | YTA. Mate, prenatal testing is mostly for fairly obvious issues such as Down syndrome and neural tube defects. There's no test to determine that a fetus is going to develop into a teen with OCD. ###### |
So daughter lives a few states away from us with her husband so we don’t see them too often. We are currently visiting for the week but things are rocky right now because of what I’m about to explain.
They like to use those Alexa devices. Before we arrived I told her I would not tolerate that she keep them out while we are here. She just told me “no” and said I’m being rude to demand that. I said I don’t care and they better be gone when we get there. I feel like she is extremely stupid and naive to think it’s safe to use those things. I don’t want my every word listened to.
Well of course we get there any she still has them out. so I did what I had to and when she or her husband weren’t looking I unplugged them and tossed them in the trash. I feel like I’m justified because 1: she blankety disrespected my concerns and 2: she needed to learn this lesson at some point, she is stupid to own this stalkerish device, it listens to everything. Once she found out she got so pissed and told me I’m fucking insane. I told her she’s being stupid and naive and she disrespected me. Then she told me I’m being a hypocrite because I have a smartphone that listens to me all the time anyway and by my logic I should throw that away too. Uh yeah no, I don’t even use hey Siri and her mother doesn’t use google assistant. She is blatantly wrong about that. Then she demanded that I get them from the trash. I refused of course and now things are not good right now. She could’ve just put them away like I told her to but Instead she decided to ruin what could’ve been a good trip over a couple of stalking devices. Not just disrespectful but just plain stupid imo. She needs to learn yet refuses to do so. AITA? ###### | YTA. Listen up: You don't walk into someone else's house and throw away their property. You talk about stupidity and disrespect, but you just showed up in her home and utterly disrespected them, and yet somehow don't see that you did so. Do you lack empathy?
You're acting like a child, and I wouldn't blame your daughter for cutting you out of her life. ###### |
I’ve been FWB/best friends with this girl for 7 years, since we were 20. We’re monagomous, stay over at each other’s, emotionally support each other and definitely not the typical arrangement. She just graduated with a PHD and due to covid couldn’t really have a party so she was doing a dinner at her place. I’ve made it clear to her that we have no future together and she can’t really expect me to meet her family members and such. And since her parents were going to be there and I didn’t want awkward questions so I skipped it. She later called me sobbing saying that she feels like I use her and that I ruined her night. I kind of feel like a asshole, but I’ve told her before not to expect me to come to these sort of events. And we’re not really in a sort of commuted relationship so I feel like she can’t really expect me to be there for her all the time. I don’t really want to hurt her feelings any further but I also want to draw some boundaries. ###### | YTA. Let me get this straight. You've been monogamously FWBs with someone you call your best friend and you're asking if you're an AH because you didn't attend an important milestone in her life because you didn't want her to get the wrong idea? You guys are clearly not on the same page. End this arrangement because you're not being fair to her. You're neither her friend or her partner. ###### |
I own a small fashion line that I started myself and put all my energy into. Over the years I've become quite successful (not rich by any means but I'm able to support myself with solely my business).
Next to my website I also have an Instagram to advertise my clothes. When I only just started out and had a limited budget I usually worked with aspiring models to model my clothes. I didn't pay them as it was mutually beneficial; I got my models and they got a professional photoshoot with photos that they were allowed to put in their portfolio. I used to always tag the model in my Instagram posts as exposure was part of the deal.
However, as I became more successful I started to be able to pay the models a very fair price. Everything got more professional. I don't usually tag the model in the photos anymore as they get compensated for their time. I still mention them on my website or in the caption but less prominent.
Recently I launched a new collection. I worked with a model I had never worked with before. She got paid for her time but I didn't tag her in the photos only in the caption. This was all in the contract too. When I posted the photos she messaged me that I forgot to tag her. I replied that I didn't, explained the procedure again and referred to our contract. She got quite upset and said that she thought I was a down to earth business and that's why she chose to work with me, that she needed the exposure as she was only just starting out and that I had always tagged models in the past.
This got me thinking. She was quite inexperienced and new but she still gets exposure just not as prominent. But I paid her so that's her compensation instead of increased exposure. I want my products to be the focus of the photos not the models.
But did I become too arrogant?
AITA for how I handle things? ###### | YTA. Legally you’re ok but morally I think this is wrong. Also this doesn’t seem like a smart business move but that’s your choice. If you tag them you get more exposure. When the models fans insta-stalk her tagged list they’ll see where they can buy the clothes and some will buy them. If people want to focus on your models they will, regardless of if you tell them who the models are so you’re only hurting yourself (but again that’s your choice) ###### |
Me (18M) and my boyfriend (20M) have been dating for a few months now. Before quarantine kicked in we lived together on the same floor at our university hall. The food there is catered, and both of us would always go for the vegan option. When I asked him if he was vegan too, he said he was, and we both kinda got really into it.
We were both in Facebook groups for vegans in our city that gave tips for cafés, recipes, etc. and a lot of the time he would fight with non-vegans online. He would get mad at people and talk about the rampant exploitation and torture of animal lives.
Safe to say, I was VERY surprised to find out than he was eating meat after we both went home for quarantine. He’s gone back to his childhood home and his parents refuse to cook vegan food. We were talking on FaceTime and I asked him why he doesn’t just buy vegan food for himself, and even offered to help pay for it if it was a money thing, but he was dismissive of it. I called him out for it by calling him a hypocrite for parading around his care for Animal Rights just to turn around and eat meat. He got mad at me and said he would go vegan again when quarantine was over, but for now, his situation is “easier”. He hung up shortly after.
I feel like he is still mad at me. Maybe quarantine has been wearing me down emotionally, but veganism is important to me and finding out it wasn’t as important to him as he presented himself to be... it feels like a betrayal. I don’t know if I should apologise or drop it fully or break up or what. AITA? ###### | YTA. Leave him alone. Just because you are vegan, it doesn't mean that you can't go back for a time, and then go back to it. It is NOT an all or nothing FOREVER thing. It is a diet. Vegans like you give others bad names. ###### |
I have two daughters
Ella (22F)
Lauren (19F)
Ella and her boyfriend (26M) are living with me currently because they’re saving for a house so they’re living rent free, Ella works part time and goes university while Lauren doesn’t work and goes university.
Ella doesn’t really wear jewellery apart from a ring her boyfriend gave her for her 22nd in March, she spent all day bragging about the ring.
Lauren came to me crying a while ago because apparently she snuck into Ellas room and took the ring.
She told Ella initially that she left it at the friends but told me she lost it at the beach, I sat Ella down and told her what had happened and offered to replace it.
She refused told me she expected the full £860 from Lauren and she doesn’t care how long it takes Lauren to get the money, it just isn’t possible for Lauren to get that type of money especially just for a ring.
I told Ella no, she can consider it rent from both her and her boyfriend.
She broke down screaming and crying about what a fucking asshole I am and hasn’t left her room since.
My wife is on my side but MIL isn’t and has offered Ella her grandmothers ring which was meant to go to my wife.
AITA? ###### | YTA. Lauren stole a ring. It's clearly not about the ring to Ella or the money. It's about Lauren being made to take responsibility for stealing and then losing something that clearly meant a lot to her. Why does it matter if she bragged about it? She clearly loved her ring. It was something sentimental she got from her boyfriend.
You offering to pay for the ring is just enabling Lauren's shitty behaviour in the first place. Lauren should pay for the ring.
"Consider it rent" so something sentimental to her that was a gift you're now considering to be rent because you entitled younger daughter stole it and lost it? Wtf?! There's some clear favouritism going on here.
Good for your MIL for offering her a ring. Now your wife knows what it feels like to have something sentimental taken away from her, the only difference here is Ella didn't steal it.
Edited to add: wow, thank you all so much for the awards. ###### |
Basically my son (6) starts school next year and I will be paying quite large sum annually ($25k-$28k) for a private school.
Now the thing is my wife’s daughter (9) is in a public school.
And my wife is pissed that I’m signing my son in a prestigious school while her daughter isn’t.
Btw our finances are separate so I pay for the bills 95% of the time and the payment for my child’s education is 100% out of my pocket
Am I being an asshole? ###### | YTA. Just the way you're saying "my wife's daughter" and not "my step daughter" makes you TA. You're telling that little girl she isn't as special as your son.
Sure, your finances are separate but you're complaining about paying 95% of the bills and then using the rest of your money to send your son to fancy school and telling your STEPDAUGHTER to hoof it to public school because you don't feel like paying for her education.
If you didn't want to care for her child, you shouldn't have married her.
Edit: Jesus, you're spending an entry level salary for a six year old to go to school. And then complaining because you don't want to pay for his sister to do the same so that right there says you DGAF about her. YTA. ###### |
Me and my ex were together for 5 years and we broke up 3 years ago. It was a really abrupt end to the relationship and I didnt see it coming. I didn't get to say good bye to her family etc and I never really received any closure. Pretty much a month after we broke up I was in a bit of a mess and I started dating, my now wife who I am very much in love with. Shes super chilled out and really understands me but I still feel I never really 100% let go of my ex and still think about her frequently.
6 months ago me and my ex had twins, and like I said is very laid back and let me pick the names. I originally wanted to pick my ex girlfriend and her brothers names but I thought it would be too obvious so I picked her father and mothers names instead. They were both great people to me when I was in their lives and I think it was quite therapeutic to still sort of have them in my life.
Everything was fine until about 6 months ago, my wife put some pics up of me and our kids and a mutual friend of me and my ex pm'd me asking why the kids names were the same as my ex's parents. I panicked and blocked him, he then insta messaged me asking why I blocked him and that its super creepy to name his kids after my ex's parents. I told him its a coincidence and my wife chose the names but I am worried now he is going to inbox my wife and ruin everything for me. WIBTA if I told my wife preemptively that its coincidental and made it into a bit of a joke or just say its a coincidence? ###### | YTA. Just own up to it. First, it is disrespectful to want to name your children ur ex’s name (WHAT) and settling on her parents’ name (DOUBLE WHAT?!). And now you want to lie to her about it? God, you are walking all over your wife and I feel super bad for her. Be honest and face the music. ###### |
Last night my girlfriend accidentally dropped her laptop down the stairs (our dog kind of jumped at her while she was going up). It still turns on but the only thing connecting the screen a keyboard are a couple wires and the screen is showing all those weird colors. Anyways she was freaking out about it and I helped get the hard drive out and connect it to my laptop. Luckily her documents were saved and I managed to transfer it onto her Ipad.
This morning she woke me up to ask if she could just access a few more documents through my laptop and I said cool. An hour or so later, I get up and see her typing up her assignment on my laptop on the couch. She said it would be easier since I don't even use it much right now.
Now my girlfriend isn't the most responsible person when it comes to taking care of things so I asked to rather use her Ipad and she was upset. AITA? ###### | YTA. Just let the woman finish her work. ###### |
Dating for 5 and a half years, living together for 2.
My girlfriend and I both work. I work a standard 9-5 mon-fri while she works 3 days a week, around 45 hours and studies from home for the moment due to the pandemic. So she's home 4 days a week, so obviously she cooks dinner. What's driving me nuts is that she won't cook meat.
If I say I want curry for dinner, she'll make a vegetable and tofu curry. Pasta? All vegetables. And before you ask, she's not vegetarian. She just doesn't like touching meat and wants to be more "sustainable" (she drives a car) and tells me that if I want meat I need to cook it myself. Wtf?? I work 5 days a week. The way I see it is that whoever is staying home all day should cook dinners. Why should I work 8 hours just to come home and cook? All my colleagues bring in leftovers of spaghetti and meatballs or beef stew and I get fried rice and orange tofu, and when my colleagues see they ask when I'm going to grow my man titties because soy is full of women hormones or whatever. I'm sick of it.
AITA?
TLDR: Gf won't cook meat. I want steak. ###### | YTA. Just because you work 5 days doesn’t mean you can’t cook. Most people work and cook. Also, your coworkers are assholes.
Edit for your edit: No need to thank Reddit when you are the one posting here ###### |
Throwaway because my niece uses Reddit.
I (45f) recently saw my niece (24f) for the first time in almost a year at a small, outdoor family get together for the 4th of July. We’re all very proud of her as she finished her bachelor’s, works full time at a job she loves, lives alone and supports herself independently and is putting herself through graduate school. I don’t drink but most of our family, including my niece, had been drinking throughout the day.
I overheard her talking about drug use with my sister (her aunt) and joined the conversation. I’m not sure how they got on the subject, but apparently my niece had a problem with painkillers when she was in high school, bad enough to the point that she almost overdosed and asked to get treatment. I was irritated that her mom never mentioned this. She assured us that it was circumstantial, she was coping poorly with a lot in her life at the time and she hasn’t touched drugs since she started mental health treatment and went to an “outpatient treatment program” (that’s her nice word for rehab) in high school.
I found this odd and alarming as she was clearly drunk and if she was truly addicted and had a problem, she shouldn’t be drinking. Her mom wasn’t at the gathering so I called her after we left. I was very shocked as my niece has always had a good reputation and seemed to be doing well before all this. I was hurt that she felt the need to hide it for this long and concerned about her drinking. I told her mom about the conversation and suggested she may still have a problem. My niece thinks I’m an AH for “telling on her to her mom” when she’s an adult instead of bringing my concerns to her directly. However, I know addiction pretty well and I know if I confronted her she’d deny she has a problem.
AITA? ###### | YTA. Just because she's your niece doesn't mean you're suddenly entitled to every piece of information like her pill popping, and there's a difference between being addicted to pills and having an addictive personality. Just having a past with addiction doesn't suddenly mean you'll be addicted to any substance under the sun, I've dealt with substance addiction myself but still remained a social drinker. Her drinking didn't raise any addiction flags before, yet now they do once you found out about an addiction she's already went to rehab for?
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Also yeah, addicts deny they have a problem. You know who else denies they have a problem? People who don't actually have a problem. If you are wrong about her possibly becoming addicted to alcohol, you realize her mom is gonna confront her about it, your niece will say she's not, and her mom will literally take it no other way than her lying right? You've pretty much lampooned her into being forced into dealing with a problem that may or may not exist when you should have confirmed it existed before taking any action.
​
If there is something to suggest she suddenly relapsed or is developing a new addiction, then you haven't put it in your OP, and from just reading this it kind of seems like either being petty from not being told, or an overreaction out of fear.
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Edit: OP your edit doesn't make ANY sense. The fact that alcoholism might be in the family doesn't excuse anything considering the fact that you only suddenly had a problem AFTER you found out about the past pill addiction. If that was really your justification, why the hell are you only NOW bringing this up? That's not a good excuse OP. Also a parent having had alcoholism doesn't suddenly mean the child would, so it baffles the mind that you'd make that connection despite no evidence of alcoholism in your niece. Like I mentioned before I had a substance abuse problem in the past yet was a social drinker, despite the fact that I have a parent who has dealt with alcoholism. Don't try to justify it anymore OP, you fucked up, own it and apologize to your niece. ###### |
My(56M) first marriage ended 6 months after the death of our son (then 16) because my ex wife became a zombie who refused to move on in any shape or form.
Now, two years later, I have a one and a half year old daughter with my wife (33). I can’t spend enough time with her and she and her mother two of the greatest joys of my life.
My daughter from my first marriage is 15 now, and has been getting in trouble in school and with local authorities ever since the divorce.
My ex wife finally took her to a therapist who referred her to bereavement counseling. My ex then calls for the first time in about a year and says I needs to be there.
The problem was, these are family therapy sessions and it would mean the frustrating experience of dealing with my ex’s emotions and her inability to let go of someone who’s gone forever.
I tell my wife about it, and she says that she wasn’t comfortable with me being in such close quarters with my ex and that my toddler needed me.
I was already feeling guilty that I sometimes miss moments like when my kid spoke her first word, and I don’t want to upset her mother even more.
So I called my daughter personally and said I couldn’t come. Since then, she’s blocked me on Facebook. Today, I get a call from a friend of my ex wife who told me she was arrested for public intoxication and underage drinking. She also blames me,even though my daughter was destructive when I was still married to her mother.
AITA? I just don’t want to mess up my second chance at happiness. I also resent how all of my daughter’s problems are written off as “ dad’s fault.” ###### | YTA. Jfc. Aside from all the red flags like your wife not being ‘over’ her son’s death within 6 months and you prioritising your new wife’s jealousy over your daughter’s needs you are also being so insensitive to your daughter. She dealt with the loss of her brother and the divorce of her parents in 6 months and also a new stepmum (who clearly doesn’t care about her) and baby within 2 years - no wonder she is acting out. You can’t even be bothered to be there for her????
Also, very interesting that your marriage ended 2 years ago and you have an 18month baby - there are 3 months unaccounted for there so there was likely infidelity and betrayal to come to terms with too.
You are a HUGE asshole. ###### |
To start it off, I (39 M) work as an online art critic, and it truly is the love of my life. I have always been incredibly fascinated by art and it's many, many forms. My daughter (11 F) has taken notice of this recently and had put a LOT of dedication in to becoming a good artist. However, the results... were not the best. Whenever she showed a painting/picture to me I tried my best to say it was good, but I just hate lying. I finally broke when she showed a pencil sketch of my face. I basically critiqued it as I would an online piece. I noted how the eyes were too slim, the nose too small, the mole on the wrong side of my face, but that the hair was a good start. My daughter heard this and ran off in tears. About an hour later my wife comes in pretty angry. She basically says that my daughter is trying to connect with me and it is discusting how I treated her. I still feel like I'm in the right because apparently my daughter can't take constructive criticism, and I am just trying to be honest with her. AITA ###### | YTA. Jesus dude. You did that to an ELEVEN year old? She isn't a professional, she's a child. It's one thing to give her some tips and help her get better. It's another to absolutely devastate her because she (AN ELEVEN YEAR OLD) isn't a master able to showcase her work in a gallery. You need to apologize. Now. ###### |
I live with my BF, who shares custody of his 9 year old twins. With the pandemic hitting our state hard, he is not exchanging custody with his ex as often. To help with them missing their mom, he installed a video chat program on their tablets so they can chat with her without needed him to help.
I requested that the kids only chat in their room, and that they only take pictures in their room. My reasoning is that it invasion of privacy to have someone I don’t know (I’ve only met her a couple of times and each time was very brief) getting pictures of the inside of the house – especially without my knowledge. Second, I am an artist and have pieces of my work on the walls. I don’t like the thought of some of my unfinished pieces being photographed. Third, I am working from home these days and would like to be able to walk around in my pajamas before I shower for the day without having to worry about being in the background of a photo.
I have no problem with them being on video in their rooms, or sending any photo they want from their room. That is their space to share.
First day, one of the kids took a picture of the living room/dining room and sent it to his mom. I got very mad and insisted bf have a talk with him. He clearly thought I am being unreasonable and asked me how to explain to the kids why they can’t take photos in the house. I said that they need to learn boundaries, even if they don’t understand or agree with why. Am I being unreasonable? ###### | YTA. Its their home too and they can talk to their mom wherever they like. They are 9. ###### |
So I (22M) have just inherited a very large sum of money from my grandfather (80M), he passed recently. I won't disclose the full amount, but it's in the 7 figures.
My dad isn't in the picture... was raised by my mom (60F). Have 5 sisters (18F, 22F, 25F, 29F and 35F) and one brother (14M).
As you can imagine, things were very difficult. I always did feel neglected compared to my sisters and pushed aside.
Now I'm not sure why I got the inheritance. It's not like I was smarter than some of my sisters or in a better position (I did ok for myself going to college, but they went to better ones) so this surprised me. I could be real lazy sometimes which was the opposite of my grandad so I'm surprised I got the inheritance. I think he just took a liking to me.
As soon as I found out, I knew right away I would keep all of it to myself. I don't want to give any of it to my family or even friends. It's all mine.
The first thing my family did was to call a meeting and basically they EXPECTED I would share it and they asked how, and I looked confused and told them "you're not getting any of it". This caused them to lose it and scream at me, especially my mom and eldest sister who said how could I do this to them.
Then they said i don't deserve it as i didn't work hard (it's true I always partied and worked last minute) but I told them deserve has nothing to do with it.
from my point of view they neglected me and didn't pay attention to me when I had problems growing up. It was all about my sisters.
So I told them it's my money and I'm going to keep all of it and they all called me asshole. Ive already got a new place lined up so I'm moving out when I can. But AITA? ###### | YTA. It’s your decision to make, but choosing to not share a great boon with your closest family is generally a dick move. Not always, but certainly often.
Here you freely admit that there’s no particular reason for you to have the money, it wasn’t left with instructions, it’s not for like a big debt or something... idk, to tell the tribe “I could share this, there’s no real reason for me not to, but I want it all so I’m keeping it”
Any way of justifying that with “well you never visited him” or “I’m holding resentment about the way I was treated,” those are valid feelings, but they’re just justifications. They don’t really directly impact the decision you’re now making, which is “do I share this and improve the lives of my whole family? Or keep it all for myself.” You’re right to want to talk about or work through those issues—but they’re not going to give you complete cover to do whatever you want here with full moral authority. Easy to to conflate them.
Not to call *you* these things, but the decision is selfish and greedy. It may also be a justifiable decision, but that doesn’t make it selfless and altruistic. Still keeping a large material advantage for yourself by intentional choice.
Humans are those things though and if you want to make that choice, it’s valid. It will certainly give you a big financial advantage. But it’s an asshole move no matter how you slice it. And it can go faster than you think, so if you blow it all and try to come crawling back to the family, you’ll have to accept your place with them if they’ll even have you back. Just consider all the consequences here. But it is your decision to make. ###### |
I live with my BF, who shares custody of his 9 year old twins. With the pandemic hitting our state hard, he is not exchanging custody with his ex as often. To help with them missing their mom, he installed a video chat program on their tablets so they can chat with her without needed him to help.
I requested that the kids only chat in their room, and that they only take pictures in their room. My reasoning is that it invasion of privacy to have someone I don’t know (I’ve only met her a couple of times and each time was very brief) getting pictures of the inside of the house – especially without my knowledge. Second, I am an artist and have pieces of my work on the walls. I don’t like the thought of some of my unfinished pieces being photographed. Third, I am working from home these days and would like to be able to walk around in my pajamas before I shower for the day without having to worry about being in the background of a photo.
I have no problem with them being on video in their rooms, or sending any photo they want from their room. That is their space to share.
First day, one of the kids took a picture of the living room/dining room and sent it to his mom. I got very mad and insisted bf have a talk with him. He clearly thought I am being unreasonable and asked me how to explain to the kids why they can’t take photos in the house. I said that they need to learn boundaries, even if they don’t understand or agree with why. Am I being unreasonable? ###### | YTA. It’s their home too. Anything you don’t want seen should be in your room/office/studio. Common areas of a house are common for a reason. ###### |
I'm going to keep this short. I graduated college last week. I took graduation pictures with my family and friends. I put up a little collage on facebook, twitter etc but I cut out my mum from the pictures before this. I have nothing against my mum but she looks significantly younger for her age and it annoys me. Some people think we're sister and one time someone even though she was younger than me. And people tend to think she's my dad's younger trophy wife (she's only 2 years younger than him). I mean I hope I get her genes but it really annoys me. So to avoid inevitable comments about her I cropped her out of our family picture.
She's hurt that I cut her out but not my brother or my dad. Like she's not part of the family. But really it was a harmless thing and I did thank my "parents" in my post so that includes her.
​
AITA? ###### | YTA. It’s sad that you say you graduated from college, and this question eludes you. ###### |
Background info
I’m 16. My dad married my stepmom like two years ago.
My step mom and I aren’t friendly but we don’t fight. We are just so-so. I’m not crazy about her. She likes to knit and make clothes and for me and my brother. They are always butt ugly.
Last school year my dad didn’t even get my brother and I back to school clothes, he just tried to make us wear her weird 1976 pilgrim clothes. I hate them. I had to beg my mom to get me a couple of outfits that I could actually wear.
My dad gave my brother and I the task of going through our clothes. We tend to give things that we can’t wear anymore to our cousins.
I was trying on clothes and posting silly Instagram stories. A lot of them were in her ugly clothes, and my friends and I had fun roasting them. Then I brought them all down to the pile for going to my cousins.
My step mom didn’t say anything about it at first, but when my dad got home for work they both confronted me about the Instagram stories the clothes.
I said that the clothes were ugly af and I didn’t want to wear them. They both started yelling at me and telling me to take down the ig stories. My dad wants me to apologize and take back the clothes. I don’t want them, so I refused.
They started calling me ungrateful, and just generally losing it. My dad has taken the rest of my clothes from my room and is demanding that I take back the ugly clothes that my stepmom made, and apologize for making fun of her on IG.
I don’t think I should be forced to wear the clothes, nor do I think my stepmom has any business sticking her nose in my social media. My brother says that I should have just put the clothes in a donation box or something to avoid trouble, and that I messed up here. He thinks I was an asshole for being so direct. AITA for trying to get rid of these clothes in her face? ###### | YTA. It’s one thing to say the clothes aren’t your style and refuse to wear them, that would be fine. It’s another to publicly make fun of them and yell at your parents (dad and stepmom) when they ask you to take down the public humiliation post. Your brother is being mature, I suggest you take his advice next time
Is there a reason your mom doesn’t buy you clothes? Do you even have a reason to hate your stepmom so much? ###### |
My fiance and I had booked a weekend at a glamping resort for a weekend in April. We paid in full for the two nights upfront and they have a zero refund cancellation policy, however, if you cancel in time they will issue a credit to be used at a later date. Now, due to covid the reservation was canceled, and we were issued a credit. When we reached out to book at a later date during the summer they are charging us more since it is high season, and when we asked about our options for booking at the original rate they told us to book during the week or later in the year (November through March, not on a holiday). We feel our money is now being held hostage and we either have to pay more or book at a bad time so I called and disputed the charge with our credit card. We normally wouldn't try to get the money back but because of covid we don't know what the future will hold and we don't know if the credit would even cover a trip in the future due to their policies. AITA? ###### | YTA. It’s like when you elect to change a flight with an airline. More often than not, you have to pay the difference in flight prices. You’re an adult. It’s on you to read the fine print when signing or paying for something. It sounds like the company was upfront about their no refund/voucher policy, and now you’re trying to find a loophole. If you want to go glamping during high season, you have to pay high season prices. ###### |
(if you’re wondering, i would be the asshole, and i’m going to be working on assessing that insecurity that prompted this discomfort within myself. with that being said, try not to hate me too much as you read.)
my boyfriend has hung a very large rainbow flag in his room. i am aware that the rainbow flag is representative of the whole lgbt community but also the rainbow flag is often considered the gay flag, which is why i’m a bit confused.
my boyfriend is bisexual. i am also. i am a little discomforted by this flag’s presence. i don’t own him, i will not request he take it down, he is his own person allowed to live and decorate as he pleases, but would i be the asshole for voicing my discomfort?
i’ve asked a few people, one called me homophobic and biphobic for being upset, one said i’m rightfully upset but shouldn’t bring it up, and one that said it’s completely disrespectful and i should be angry and talk to him.
it feels like he’s taking pride in being attracted to men...while he’s dating a woman. i also don’t want to censor him, but mostly, i want to be honest and let him know how i feel.
so, reddit, WIBTA if i told my boyfriend the pride flag he’s hung up makes me a little insecure as his girlfriend and i’m a bit uncomfortable with it?
EDIT: i AM NOT and WOULD NEVER ask him to take it down, i’m asking if i should bring up my personal feelings about what it represents or if i should keep them to myself.
EDIT 2: the phrase i used, “it feels like he’s taking pride in being attracted to men...while he’s dating a woman” has been problematic to some people. i think i must be harboring some insecurity because of his history of flirting while being in relationships. i see now how that could be perceived as near homophobic on my half and i apologize for that, i think it’s misplaced insecurity that has nothing to do with his sexuality and more to do with his history of being unfaithful. ###### | YTA. It’s also very confusing that you find it offensive when you are bisexual yourself. Bi pride keeps on going even if you are in a hereto relationship. It seems like this is more about your own insecurities. He isn’t saying “I LOVE MEN” by hanging the flag. He is saying, “I am proud of who I am!” ###### |
This has been an on going discussion between me and my mum for a while now, however, became an argument this morning.
A little back ground I am 19(m) who did not go to university and my sister is 21 and has just finished university.
My mum has said she wants me to start paying rent, which I have said on MULTIPLE occasions I would me more than happy to financially contribute but only when my sister does as well. However, she does not believe that my sister should be paying rent despite the fact that we are both currently living at home. Her reasoning being my sister is not currently earning money.
My parents have financially supported my sister through university, my sister could of got a job during her time at university so they didn't have to help her but she only really started getting some irregular paying work in her 3rd year of uni.
I have agreed today that I will contribute to my mum's petrol money as she does give me a lift to and from work (we work at the same campus). Which I believe is completely fair.
I feel like I am at a disadvantage for not going to uni/career choice and if anything the older sibling should start paying rent first!
Am I the arsehole/spoilt brat for not wanting to start paying rent until my sister does???
Thanks for any replies in advance! ###### | YTA. It's perfectly reasonable to insist that the people earning money should contribute. Are you going to cry to government because your older sister doesn't pay income tax? ###### |
I (20M) work at a big grocery store. Lately, this woman has been coming in during my shits, and she wears kind of provocative clothing (think hot pants and a belly shirt). Mind you, it’s still cold in my state and most customers come in fully dressed and wearing masks, so she sticks out. It’s become a bit of a joke between my coworkers and I.
Anyway, my friend “Kelsey” and I were stocking near the back of the store, and we saw the lady walk past. Her shorts were pulled up between her cheeks, and we were kind of joking back and forth about it (not so she could hear, obviously). I told Kelsey “that’s one for the spank bank”, obviously just joking around.
She didn’t say anything at the time, but she later complained to our shift lead. He pulled me aside and say not to make sexual references at work. In my opinion, we were just joking around, and I was obviously being sarcastic. I didn’t really think of it as a sexual reference.
AITA? ###### | YTA. It's not because you noticed someone dressed differently out of everyone else. YTA for making your coworker have to imagine your masterbation sessions. No one needs to hear that at work. ###### |
So my best friend moved to the UK 5 years ago for studies/work. Since we hadn't seen each other for awhile, last year he said he was going to come over, meet up with our old friendship group (5 guys in total) and we would go on a young guy's trip before he returned to the UK. I met my girlfriend earlier this year and her birthday coincidentally falls on the same day as the guy trio was supposed to start. For obvious reasons he can't come anymore and just decided to do a group video call, catch up then play games online.
Yesterday was the day, so I woke up early and made my gf breakfast in bed, gave the gift, and watched a movie with her. When the time came I asked my gf if she was okay with this and she said it was fine so I did it. It was a load of fun catching up with guys and playing against a bunch of random people online together. The call ended at around 9 and I went back to the bedroom to chill with my gf but she was already asleep so I went to bed as well.
This morning though she was extremely cold and didn't want to talk until I pushed it out of her. She says I was being an asshole for ignoring her on her big day even though she said it was fine. Besides that, the plans were set before we started dating and I would've missed the whole thing but at least this way I had the time to make her feel special in the morning. Aita? ###### | YTA. It's not about the call, or that you took 8 hours. It's that you checked out on her completely once the call started. You didn't give her a single thought, to the point that she ate her birthday dinner alone, and then went to bed alone.
You apparently got up for *snacks* but didn't check in with her? Just to say hi and tell her how much fun you were having, or have her pop in to meet the blokes, nothing? That's why YTA. ###### |
So my sister made this peanut butter bread today. She said she saw a really easy recipe and decided to make it, this is when it was already done and out of the oven. She said she was letting it cool for 15 minutes before eating it.
30 minutes later there's no one around the kitchen and the bread is still there, I take a small slice and she comes out when I'm halfway done with it and gets pissed because she wanted to cut it first. She further explained that she *knew* I would do that and she couldn't believe me.
I asked why she didn't tell anyone she wanted to eat it first if she knew it would happen. She said she shouldn't have too.
I really don't see it as that big of a deal especially since I ate the butt end for everyone. And if it's such a big deal why didn't she explain her wishes if she knew what would happen? ###### | YTA. it's her damn bread, she put in the time and effort to bake it, let her cut it and have the first slice. ###### |
Me(15m) and my sister(22f) play the same online game which I will not be saying what. The game has 3 currencies and works like this:
1 is for the in-game stuffs, rewarded by clearing dungeons and tradable in the player market. 1 is for the cash shop, purchased with real life money, not tradable in game and can only buy items in the cash shop. The 3rd one is a currency that can buy both in-game stuffs and a limited selection of cash shop stuffs, also can be traded in the player market.
I have been playing around with the 3 currencies, having multiple accounts, tracking the market prices and making a "cheat sheet" out of it, where I figure out the time to buy things with 1 currency and sell them in another, and profit from the difference in between. I have been making a good profit of it in the game, and even traded some of them with real life money, not much but it's the sense of achievement that counts.
My sister who plays the same game has been jealous that I have become a "rich player" without spending too much money. Ever since she lost her job she had been trying to do what I did but never had the patience for it. She had been asking me for my cheat sheet but I won't lend her, I don't want competition in the game and they are MY hardwork.
Today we had an argument as she accused me for having no life and a hacker(no I don't), then tried to tear up my cheat sheet. I got mad too and called her a jobless loser who fails at everything and can't even win her little brother in game without begging. She actually broke down and cried.
What happens exceeds the word count, I just want to ask right now AITA? ###### | YTA. It's a video game, you're cutting down your sister for not having a job when 1) millions of people are on unemployment 2) we're at the start of what will be a long, long recession if not all out depression. Not having a job is not a moral failing on her part. ###### |
So, my girl friend and I are in a long distance relationship and today is her bday. We live in different states so I can't see her or travel to her. We were suppose to be in the Bahamas right now, but due to everything going on right now, we couldn’t do that.
I booked a Bahamas trip this week for 4th of July weekend and was going to fly her down to where I live. I didn't ask first because I know she can choose when she works and I wanted to surprise her and figured I can always compensate her for not going to work.
I took off work over 2 months in advance so I would 100% have the time off and told her the plans tonight. She is upset because the week I will be flying her down and we will be going, it’s her moms bday and she won’t feel right being in the same state and not seeing her mom. (We will be in this state for a few hours before we head over to the Bahamas lol... also her mom lives like 6 hours away)
She seems upset over this especially because I said I’m not rebooking and changing the dates - and she told my twin bro (they’re really close) that I should have asked her first and that you should always spend your moms bday with her.
I feel like she’s not grateful for the trip I’m taking her on, and wants to do everything for her mom and doesn’t even care to see me. Am I the asshole for not wanting to rebook the trip I already took time off for? ###### | YTA. It was clearly important to you to have time to plan and clear your schedule-- why should your girlfriend not have the same courtesy? Change the dates so it's actually a gift she'll enjoy. ###### |
So I've (25M) lived with my ex (24F) for 5 years, we dated for almost 3 years, this was 2 years ago, she's been with her boyfriend for a while now- they're even planning on moving in with eachother, she's very excited, since breaking up we've just been friends.
I met my girlfriend 5 months ago, dating for 3months.
She knows I've got a roommate, she knows my roommate is a woman and she knows we are friendly.
I didn't think it was necessary.
We were recently talking about exs when I said I'd briefly dated *roommates name* - a silly mistake on my part.
She freaked out, calling me an AH for not telling her first and had she known she wouldn't have been as trusting of *roommates name* and that its something I should've told her.
My roommate agrees I should've told my girlfriend but my girlfriend is overreacting by ignoring me.
AITA? ###### | YTA. It was a "silly mistake" to tell her that you "briefly dated"? So you deliberately tried to hide it, that goes beyond not mentioning. And 3 years is not brief at all, what are you talking about? Anyway don't hide things from your girlfriend. ###### |
Some time last year there was a Halloween party for the entire grade 10. Everyone was invited and every kid showed up. This is my first "real" party (alcohol and over 10 people) I've ever been to and I am extremely excited.
So I get to the party, drink some beer, drink some more cause I wasn't feeling drunk (never had alchohol before). Anyways, you proabably see were this is going by now. I get hella drunk, can barely walk, room is spinning, can't focus. I'm kinda scared cause this is all so new to me. Anyways, I start poking people and flirting with everyone, pretty much being a jerk. The guy who's house the party is at kicks me out and calls my dad. My dad is chill but still kinda pissed that I got that drunk. I haven't been invited to another party since.
So, AITA for getting drunk at my first party and acting like an idiot? Personally I see there point but it hurts knowing that there are party's every 2 weeks and I am not invited to any of them because I acted dumb my first time getting drunk. ###### | YTA. It sounds like you not only "acted dumb" but actively harassed people. It will be a while before people are willing to trust you again.
Also, just a heads-up:
*whose
*their point
*parties ###### |
My sister and I are twins (25). She has a husband and now is having a child. I'm in a lesbian relationship and have been with my partner for nearly a year. My sister is borderline homophobic and has never made the effort with my partner. She always refers to her as my friend and that it's not possible to love somebody of the same sex. Anyway she had her baby shower last week and there was most of our family there. After she got most her gifts I proposed to my girlfriend. I've been planning this for around 2 months and decided I wanted to do it at my sisters baby shower as a way to show off my partner and how much I love her. It was an awkward disaster. She said yes btw. Anyway my sister was really rude to me and my parents weren't happy but supported my descion. My sister then texted me and said how disrespectful and fucked I am to marry my "dyke friend" at her baby shower. She still is furious at me but I don't see anything wrong with it. AITA ###### | YTA. It seems like you're just doing it to rub it in her face. Of course it was going to cause tension. This isn't to say I agree with your sisters views at all. But stealing the limelight at someone else's celebration literally never goes well! ###### |
The title says it. My fiance wants to open another account for "safety" when i asked her to give me more details about it she said that in case something happens she has savings.
At first i thought it was weird since we already have plenty of money and we have been saving together for a while now but then i looked it up a bit on the internet and noticed that many women make saving accounts in case of a divorce.
When i confronted her about it she admitted that if something happens at least she has the money and that i could do the same too. She also added that having saved money isn't a bad thing and that i shouldn't be upset with it.
The thing is i'm upset because she doesn't believe in us if she is saving for a potential divorce, what's the point in marrying then ? we got into a fight to which i stopped replying for a few days.
When i came back she said i was an asshole for shutting her down like this, that i purposely don't understand where she's coming from. Now she wants to take a break.
So Am i the asshole ? ###### | YTA. it is wise to have back up savings in case the worst should happen - for example if your fiance turns into a controlling arse who gets upset at you having your own savings for just in case. ###### |
So this happened in March but my wife is still upset about it.
I have three children with my wife, 6,4 and 4months.
We bottle feed the youngest.
Come mothers day my wife is exhausted, I cooked breakfast with my youngest helping while our 4year old did some art work for her.
When my wife went for her nap I thought I'd take the children out, my eldest decided to take a nap with her mother though so it was just the two youngest.
We spent maybe 3 hours with my mother and an hour travelling, when I got back I cooked dinner and I thought everything was OK.
my wife claims I ruined her mothers day, I don't see how since we didn't have plans and she was asleep for at least an hour.
She's still insisting I'm TA for taking the children out.
AITA? ###### | YTA. It honestly didn't occur to you that she might want to spend the day with her family? You decided to give YOUR mother a nice mother's day instead of your wife.
Did you even ask her what she wanted for mother's day? ###### |
My gf has very bad periods. There is very little she can do. She has gone through multiple methods of birth control and they have all had extremely negative consequences on her mental health, inducing psychosis twice. One form put her in the mental hospital. She chose to deal with her periods.
The problem I have is her underwear is always stained with blood. It's gross. Although they are washed thoroughly, she often can't get stains out.
I asked her to buy new underwear. She explained to me that she does, and unless she is extremely careful, she will get blood on her new panties. She tried to compromise and say that she will make sure I do not see them whenever we have sex or she is around me.
I put my foot down and asked her to not wear them around me.
She got upset and argued that they are never dirty.
Was I TA? ###### | YTA. It happens. Even with all of the protection one can use, leaks happen, especially if her periods are bad. And those stains do not come out easily. Even if she only wore dark underwear, some discharge can actually have a bleaching effect on fabric - so sometimes underwear will just be stained. Doesn't mean they are dirty. SEEING the stains offends your delicate sensibilities? Grow up. ###### |
My son and DIL got married this year and they are expecting a little boy in November around Thanksgiving. She has three kids from a previous marriage a set of twins 5, and a 2 1/2 year old. My son has always wanted to have a farm and this April they bought a bunch of animals that they have been taking care of.
Well my son has worked full time at a job and he also has his own business that he works at on his days off. Very hardworking man. His wife used to work at a university but has been laid off since March. Her only income has been child support that she uses to be her kids things and groceries and occasionally the animal feed. She pays for no other bills, my son does. She also is a rather plain Jane as she doesn’t even wear makeup or wear nice clothes just a t shirt and maternity jeans.
Well she was supposed to go back to work next month so I was having dinner with them at their home and asked about childcare for the kids. She then informs me that since they have been fine while she has been off work that she won’t be going back and will be homeschooling the 5 year olds and that the baby was due in November and that my son wants her to stay home and care for the baby instead of a stranger.
My son is sweet man but he is easily manipulated and I feel that’s what she is doing. When my son left the room I told her that she needed to go back to work and pull her own and her kids weight and that my son shouldn’t have to support her and her kids as they weren’t his and for her to stop using him for her own personal gain. She began to cry and went upstairs. My son came down and asked me what I said and he told me that they both talked about this and made a decision and I was out of line. He asked me to leave. His own mother. My husband told me that I need to go over there and apologize but I stand by what I said. AITA? ###### | YTA. It doesn't sound like either of them are being manipulated, and it is their decision to make. If they're happy with the decision - and even if they aren't - it's theirs to discuss and decide on, not yours.
Also, the woman is pregnant, and you're bitching about what she wears? Jeans are perfectly acceptable for anyone, anytime (situationally appropriate, of course). She doesn't owe it to anyone to get dressed up.
Edit: As someone who became a man's daughter through marriage and his parents' granddaughter, I'm appalled by your apparent disregard for the children you obviously don't consider part of your son's family now (and by extension, your family). I was very lucky in that when my Mom and (technically step) Dad got married (I was six), I got two amazing grandparents, a new uncle, and a whole bunch of cousins out of it. ###### |
My daughter’s been faking being sick for months now. She constantly complains about being in pain and feeling sick, but all the doctors she’s seen have said there’s nothing wrong with her. Every test they’ve run has come back normal, and all the images show nothing unusual. There’s nothing wrong with her.
At this point she’s just wasting everyone’s time and money. My wife and I have decided that we’re not going to take it anymore. She’s obviously lying for attention or to feel “special”, and it’s not going to be tolerated any longer. She’s not sick.
We told her today that she needs to stop this, because it’s a waste of time. She’s obviously fine. She threw a fit and screamed at us, and then called her aunt (her mom’s sister) to complain. Now my wife’s family is blowing up on us, calling us horrible people and sociopaths. ###### | YTA. It can take a hell of a long time to get a chronic health disorder diagnosed. Try and think back to when you were your daughter’s age: would you limit yourself from having fun just for attention? ###### |
This happened back in Feb but it’s still an issue which she brought up recently.
The title makes me sound like I’m definitely the asshole, but just let me explain:
So my (25M) girlfriend (25F) was picking up something at my workplace. This is an office job, but it’s very stressful. Anyway, I went down to the lobby to handoff the thing my girlfriend needed. I went back up right after.
Later that night, my girlfriend was telling me how she went to the bathroom in the lobby, and there was this girl quietly crying. My girlfriend said she stayed for a little bit and comforted her.
Now the reason I am really annoyed by this is because that girl had got into a *huge* argument with out boss (she was clearly in the wrong though). She was acting super arrogant about something and basically got chewed out by our boss. He was seriously pissed. Basically what happened was, our boss asked her to get him a tea bag from our coffee station. She thought she was to good for that (this is something that we all have to do from time to time) and they got into a huge argument.
Our boss just told her to go home for the day, and the other bosses (our boss’s peers) didn’t say anything.
Obviously people talk, and pretty much everyone agrees that that girl was in the wrong. Sure none of us *like* having to do that stuff, but it rarely happens.
Anyway so I guess the girl was crying in the lobby and when my girlfriend told me about what happened, I instantly recognized who she was talking about.
I told my girlfriend that I really wish she hadn’t done that because I didn’t want it to somehow seem like I, by relation, was taking sides against my boss, especially considering that this girl was the one who started the whole conflict.
My girlfriend says that regardless, it’s “empathetic” to still try to comfort her then. Even once I’ve explained everything, she still doesn’t think she did anything wrong. She said I’m being really cold about this. Am I the wrong one? ###### | YTA. Is your boss really that preoccupied with who your girlfriend talks to? He’s apparently too busy to get his own tea bag. He shouldn’t have time to care who talks to whom in the lobby.
> Even once I’ve explained everything, she still doesn’t think she did anything wrong.
Of course not. Talk all you want, it doesn’t change the info she had at the time. Be glad you’ve got an emotionally intelligent partner and don’t waste further breath on the subject.
You’re kissing the wrong butt here, dude. ###### |
Basically, a few months ago I got kicked out of school. I deserved it, my behaviour was wrong, and I truly do feel bad for what I did. Although I do still feel bad, I was really happy for the clean slate it gave me. I started at a new school, made some new friends, got in with the "right" people and I'm really really happy.
Now, the other night I was talking to a friend on the phone and they mentioned they might be switching to the school I got kicked out of. I told them that I would not remain friends with them if they switched to this school.
My reason for saying what I said is that I hate that school. The teachers, people, everything about it. I am not in contact with anyone from that school, I don't want to be associated with it anymore and I'm afraid if I remain friends with them if they switch to this school, then I'll be associated with it.
My friend says I'm the asshole because I said I wouldn't remain friends with them. They said "switching schools won't change who I am".
Yes, it won't change who they are, but it will change a lot in our friendship if they choose to attend this school.
​
Reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA. Is this person a minor? You realize your friend may not have a choice, right? Like, his parents may want him to go to your old school. And you said yourself, you deserved to get expelled. So why all the hate? Stop putting this pressure on your friend. It’s not fair. ###### |
My wife and I have been together for five years, married for three. Everything in our relationship is great, she’s the best partner I’ve ever had which makes this situation even harder for me. Since the start we’ve always split everything 50/50. Dates, bills, rent. I’ve never paid for her but she has paid for me sometimes even though I insist she doesn’t.
Since our marriage, things have gotten bad. I make twice as much as her but we still split everything 50/50. Leaving her with way less money than me after everything’s paid for. Because of this, she expects me to start paying fully for miscellaneous things like the Netflix, whenever we go out to movies/dinner, tickets to events. But just because I make more doesn’t mean I should have to pay for those things all by myself. I still expect her to contribute her half.
She even made a diagram showing that since I refuse to change our 50/50 rule, she’s technically contributing way more to the household financially and she cleans and cooks for the most part too so she added on that it would be easier for her mentally and financially to live on her own and pay her own bills then to continue to be with me. She says she’s unhappy and that sometimes in relationships it can’t be 50/50, people have to pick up the slack to make the marriage happier. But why does it have to be me? Aita for not wanting to change our 50/50 rule? She’s asking to pay 30% of the rent and bills instead of 70%. ###### | YTA. Is this a serious question? Your *wife* not only makes substantially less than you do, but does almost all of the housework, and you're not willing to even consider contributing more to the bills? Why? Why are you okay with her contributing so much more of her income than you are of yours?
>I make twice as much as her but we still split everything 50/50. Leaving her with way less money than me after everything’s paid for.
You are the asshole. One of the biggest assholes I've come across, on this sub. She's your wife, not your roommate. ###### |
I (28) have had a strained relationship with my dad (59) since I could remember. we both love one another he just has a drill sergeant approach and doesn't show emotions a lot. he was getting on my case about paying for the car he bought for me, with the expectation of paying him back. we got into a heated argument until he ended it with telling me he aint paying for anymore of my shit and stormed out to rant to my mom. my friend was just coming over. my friend was orphaned pretty young, like 3ish I think and didn't have a dad like figure in her life. she was raised by her aunt. it's irritating how much she whines and brings this up I mean i get it that's rough but she mentions it weekly. Today it was about how she wished she had a dad to help her figure out relationships because she keeps getting caught in crappy ones. because I was still pissed about my own dad I told her that having a dad isn't like the movies and it's not all that cracked up. I told her to take mine for example, he's controlling and doesn't give me relationship advice. I thought I convinced her until later that night another friend messaged me saying I was horrible. Was I? ###### | YTA. imagine having the audacity to complain about your dad in front of a girl who misses hers beyond belief. and will never be able to laugh, love, or cOmplain about because he is DEAD.
#YTA ###### |
My girlfriend and I are having a baby. She is six months pregnant. She keeps asking me when I'm going to quit and she gets mad when I say I will soon. I was planning on waiting until I took paternity leave to quit but she wants me to quit now. She keeps saying the smoke smell is bad for her and the baby, but my parents smoked all the time and I'm fine. ###### | YTA. If you’re smoking near a pregnant woman (much less your girlfriend who has asked you to stop) clearly you didn’t turn out fine. ###### |
I'm from Texas, and am a senior in high school aspiring to study economics, finance, or anything else business-related. I got into UT Austin's business program, which is ranked pretty highly, but I had also gotten into some top schools like Harvard and Yale. I qualify for in-state tuition for UT, and plus have gotten some merit scholarships that bring my tuition down basically to a free ride. Harvard wasn't nearly as generous, since we're fairly well off, and the amount I would have to pay would nearly wipe out all the college savings I have.
I prefer Harvard despite the costs-- it's more prestigious, and it's a change of scenery from Austin, where I've lived all my life. I talked to my parents about this, and they told me that I should chose Harvard, since it's a huge opportunity for me. UT Austin is good, but Harvard is Harvard. They also opposed the idea of having me work part-time, since I should focus on studying, clubs, and internships (which I agree with). My younger brother (16) would have no college funds, but his dream school is UT Austin. They stated that they could easily handle his tuition from their normal paychecks without having to use savings, since we're in-state, so it works out even if we spend the entire fund on me.
So I decided to go to Harvard next year. This pissed off my brother. I asked him, didn't he want to go to UT Austin? I explained that he could still go without having to take out loans or whatever. He agreed, but was still mad, for no apparent reason.
AITA? ###### | YTA. If you want Harvard you should pay for it rather then screwing over your brother. ###### |
My wife and I have been together for five years, married for three. Everything in our relationship is great, she’s the best partner I’ve ever had which makes this situation even harder for me. Since the start we’ve always split everything 50/50. Dates, bills, rent. I’ve never paid for her but she has paid for me sometimes even though I insist she doesn’t.
Since our marriage, things have gotten bad. I make twice as much as her but we still split everything 50/50. Leaving her with way less money than me after everything’s paid for. Because of this, she expects me to start paying fully for miscellaneous things like the Netflix, whenever we go out to movies/dinner, tickets to events. But just because I make more doesn’t mean I should have to pay for those things all by myself. I still expect her to contribute her half.
She even made a diagram showing that since I refuse to change our 50/50 rule, she’s technically contributing way more to the household financially and she cleans and cooks for the most part too so she added on that it would be easier for her mentally and financially to live on her own and pay her own bills then to continue to be with me. She says she’s unhappy and that sometimes in relationships it can’t be 50/50, people have to pick up the slack to make the marriage happier. But why does it have to be me? Aita for not wanting to change our 50/50 rule? She’s asking to pay 30% of the rent and bills instead of 70%. ###### | YTA. If you truly want things to be 50/50, why aren’t you doing half of the housework? You don’t want equality, you want superiority. ###### |
Whenever my roommate and I go grocery shopping together I notice that she just puts stuff in her basket without looking at how much things cost.
We were at Whole Foods earlier today and we were in the fridge section and she randomly was adding some stuff to her basket that she wanted to try. I asked her how much it costed when she came back over to me and she said she didn't know.
I got very annoyed and told her off in front of some people about how she shouldn't act so privileged and that some people have to live off food stamps and don't have the same luxuries that she does or make as money as she does to just be running around buying whatever she wants. I got some dirty looks from the people standing around us but one lady came up to us and she took my side saying that she doesn't take things for granted.
My roommate started to get upset and cried saying that she isn't trying to act privileged and that she just wanted to try the food and figured it wouldn't be too much out of her budget. I was just getting a lot of dirty looks though so I was wondering AITA? ###### | YTA. If you shared finances and she was always short on rent I would understand, but you’re just mad at her for spending the money she worked for. Definitely an asshole ###### |
So I (48M) have a daughter (16F) who spends a lot of time playing video games. She’s often on voice chat with other people, who she’s said were “friends from school”. I’ve always thought it was a bit suspicious because my daughter has complained about not really having friends at school.
I interrupted her doing schoolwork to ask her for a favour (take out the trash), when I saw I weird message pop up on the bottom of the screen. When I asked her who it was, she seemed nervous but just brushed it off as “a friend”. After she left, I decided to check her computer and saw the message was from Discord. I took a brief glance at her messages/servers and I realized these weren’t people she knew. I interrogated her about it and she got defensive because I went onto her computer but then admitted they were online friends. She said most of them were other girls her age, but some were guys and some were older (not that it matters, people can lie).
I’ve always had a strict rule with her online access: no online friends, no talking to people online, and preferably no online multiplayer games. You don’t know who is behind the screen and they could be dangerous. This has been a rule since she was a child.
I’ve decided to ban her from playing games. She’s allowed on her PC to do schoolwork, but during strict times and monitored. My daughter started crying when I told her and said she knew what she was doing and how to be safe, and these were her only friends and it’s q*****tine so she’s isolated. I told her this was for her own protection and she started screaming at me. My daughter hasn’t left her room. My wife has taken my side but I’m wondering if I’m in the right here. AITA? ###### | YTA. If you keep this up your daughter will never speak to you again once she leaves your house. I hope you’re prepared for that. ###### |
The title says it all. My wife has very visible acne scars. Obviously, I love her all the same, and I find her stunningly beautiful - but ofc I'd prefer her without the scars. I never told her that because she can't make them go away and it'd be pointlessly rude, of course.
When we go out, my wife wears some makeup, and we're typically only together at home in the evening, but we're currently both confined at home. I barely notice her scars in the artificial lights of our home, but they're far more visible in the pale light of the sun. In the day with all windows open it looks like that: https://images.app.goo.gl/mvcHphVRiBuFBCf97
Ive taken the habit to keep curtains closed and the lights turned on instead. She loves it and asks for it sometimes because it "feels cozy". I didn't tell her my reasons to do it in the first place, but neither of us minds.
I mentioned it to my sister lately without thinking much of it. She freaked out and said I'm awful and that it means I hate my wife's "true appearance". I think of it as me choosing a flattering light rather than one that makes her less beautiful than what she can look like. What do you think? ###### | YTA. If you have to keep your motivation a secret from your wife, chances are you're not doing it for a good reason.
Aaaand that edit. Damn. You're digging your own grave trying to make yourself sound like some kind of hero for marrying her. Don't try to guilt trip a whole subreddit, dude. ###### |
My son is 17 years old and over the past few months he's been acting very peculiar and we came to blows over this and he spoke back to me saying that they're not his fault and he doesn't know how to do. Here is what I noticed from him
* He's suddenly gone very lethargic very quickly. He'll get up, sit on his chair for about an hour and be that tired that he'll sleep for another 3 or 4 hours but will still be awake all night long. I've suggested for him to go on walks as simple but effective exercise that will tire him out so he'll sleep at least 6 to 8 hours at night. He declines because he's tired
* He's stopped eating. This concerned me, he says that it's because he has zero appetite. I tried to make sure he was eating right when I first noticed this back around last December time. He has obviously thinned out beyond belief (you can see an uncomfortable number of bones). I also believe that this might be why he's tired all day
* He drinks literally all the liquid I buy from my food shop and then some. Like, he'll say he's that thirsty and has a really dry throat when he drinks a two litre bottle of Coke in literally two or three attempts. A literal sip for him is essentially drinking a full pint
* He complains about having to go toilet more often. I told him that this was because of the amount that he drinks. We had to stop twice when I was in the car with him the other day, the distance wasn't even two miles
Is me telling him that he needs to help himself worthy of me being TA? (made a new account for this post) ###### | YTA. If you are reading this reply and you aren't already at the hospital with your son then you may be the biggest asshole on the planet at this moment.
Your son is seriously ill and needs medical attention immediately. Take. Him. To. The. Hospital. NOW. ###### |
Restaurants Just opened in my city where I am, so I wanted to just relax with and talk with my family. We missed times like this so we figured it was the right time.
I told her let's go some where a little nicer than usual. Meaning like upscale place. I wanted to eat good that night. Told her it was a steak house, didn't ask anymore questions so told her nothing else really about it. Figured she would know it cost a little more since I told her it was something nicer. Picked her up and we headed the restaurant.
We get there, she says "STK huh", I said "yeah, have you ever been here", she responded with "nope" told her she in for suprise. We walk up and get seated, I can tell shes impressed by the environment of the place. We get handed our menus, she looks at up at me almost immediately. Didn't even say say anything to me just looked at me. Face of shock. After looking at the menu for the couple's of minutes, she asked on how much we exactly plan on spending. Told her I'm going to get a steak, so I have no idea.
Staters alone are $20 then entrees vary from $40 to $50. I ended up spending $110 that night, she spent $60. We had good conversations throughout dinner but when it was over she told me I wish I told her exactly how expensive it was before. For she could've know how much she planned on spending. ###### | YTA. If you are going to invite someone to a fancy place and not tell them where before hand you should have paid. ###### |
My kid got into college A, which is our local state school. The price is reasonable, has a major related to what she wants to study, and is quite reputable.
However, she just got off the waitlist college B, which is across the country, and most importantly private and more expensive. It is ranked a little better.
Tuition is more expensive, but due to my income, we will not be getting any financial aid. College B will strain my finances a little, although I will be able to make it work quite comfortably.
I am refusing to pay for my daughter's education if she decides to go to college B. She's crying bloody murder, and says I should at least pay the portion that I would have used to pay tuition at college A.
I am firmly opposed to college B, as I see it is a very elitist school, and I don't agree with a lot of it's recent administration choices. I told her she can either go to the state school, or go to the private school on 100% loans. I won't be pitching in a dime to fund a private education system, if she has the choice to go to a perfectly good public school. ###### | YTA. If there's money aside to pay X amount for school, that money should go to whichever school she chooses.
Financially manipulating her into making a choice that will affect *her* whole life based on what *you* want is of course, asshole behavior. ###### |
The other day I commissioned an artist to draw my character. I paid $60 for the full body shaded which is a bit pricy (for me) but I assumed maybe this artist takes a long time like 6-7 hours which is why they price it like that, so I understood why. They sent my a sketch not long after I paid and I approved it expecting to wait a while for the finished art. Well what ended up happening is that they sent me the finished artwork early in the next day and I was like that was fast?? The artist said they work quick and plus I got in early on their queue. Out of curiosity I asked them how long it actually took them for the drawing and they said just under two hours..... I know what you’d may be thinking that I should be happy I got the fast service but hear me out. I felt a little bit scammed because I paid $60 only because I thought this artist probably takes a lot of time, so it is worth it to pay a high price for it. But they didn’t even draw for a full two hours... I asked the artist if I could have a partial refund maybe because it clearly did not take that long. They told me straight up no and seemed kinda annoyed with me. Idk I just feel like the price wasn’t justified. I talked to my friends and like half of them said they understood and the other half said It was a dick move even just for asking. But to be fair the ones that said it was a dick move were also artists so they are biased. AITA? ###### | YTA. If the art is good then why does it matter how long it took? Longer times doesn't mean better quality. ###### |
My girlfriend bought an outfit online. It’s a tube top and a short skirt. The tube top just covers her boobs and the skirt is short enough to where her ass hangs out. I think it’s really hot, but I told her I didn’t feel comfortable for her wearing it in public because I felt like it was too revealing. She told me she didn’t feel that way but she also just bought the outfit. I told her that I should have at least a small say in what she wears out in public because we’ve been dating for over a year but she thinks I’m trying to be controlling. Am I the asshole here? ###### | YTA. if thats what she wants to wear, then she can ###### |
Whenever my roommate and I go grocery shopping together I notice that she just puts stuff in her basket without looking at how much things cost.
We were at Whole Foods earlier today and we were in the fridge section and she randomly was adding some stuff to her basket that she wanted to try. I asked her how much it costed when she came back over to me and she said she didn't know.
I got very annoyed and told her off in front of some people about how she shouldn't act so privileged and that some people have to live off food stamps and don't have the same luxuries that she does or make as money as she does to just be running around buying whatever she wants. I got some dirty looks from the people standing around us but one lady came up to us and she took my side saying that she doesn't take things for granted.
My roommate started to get upset and cried saying that she isn't trying to act privileged and that she just wanted to try the food and figured it wouldn't be too much out of her budget. I was just getting a lot of dirty looks though so I was wondering AITA? ###### | YTA. If she's paying it for herself, like you have said in comments, it is literally none of your business how she chooses to spend her money.
And then to humiliate her in public too.
Geez, if I were her, you'd soon be my ex-roommate. ###### |
My daughter has been doing digital art commissions online for the past 5 years. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m glad that she is able to be completely independent with this and support both herself, and her boyfriend while he attends college. But my problem here is that I feel like she is wasting her life. All of her friends went off to actual colleges and already graduated with degrees that will help get them somewhere big. My daughter? She took like 5 classes in community college, said schools not for her and wanted to “focus on her art” instead. I know this sounds shitty but I *want* to have things I can be proud of her for, I *want* to tell my colleagues and friends how I’m so proud my daughter graduated college! I’ve tried speaking to her and telling her you know life moves on and maybe she likes drawing but she’s almost 23 and it’s time she starts thinking about her future. She’s stuck in the past while her peers are years ahead of her, already graduated and some with jobs already. She *needs* do get up and get a real job at some point. I’m only thinking about her future. Because of this art thing she has no college degree, and ZERO job experience in the last 5 years. She’s basically fucked herself, but I still believe she can make it work. She just got angry with me. She told me to stop trying to tell her what to do with her life and that she’s happy and comfortable now. I’m not trying to dictate anything, but I’m trying to stress that she think about her future for once. She refused to listen to anything I say. What is she just gonna not have a real job or any experiences to back her up for *another* 5 years? I won’t be supporting her then. But I’m willing to now and apparently she doesn’t want that. AITA? ###### | YTA. If it pays the bills, it’s a job. It’s a job that she’s passionate about and makes her happy instead of being miserable and unhappy at a regular 9-5. Just because it’s not a traditional job or it’s not what you would do, it doesn’t make it less valid. Not to mention, digital art is a fast growing industry of which there’s growing demand for. From your post, it seems you’re trying to push you ideas on jobs and careers on her and you’re only focusing on yourself and what you want. Newsflash, your daughter is a different person from you and you have no right to project what you want onto her. ###### |
One time a girl got super intoxicated at a party and started telling her secrets and pretty much making a complete fool out of herself. My friends were recording and laughing so I decided to join in. I started to feel bad the next day but my friends said it’s here fault because if she was an actual adult then she wouldn’t have been the most fucked up at the party. AITA? ###### | YTA. I’m embarrassed for you that you even need to ask. ###### |
Hello, I am writing this because my husband just told me I was the asshole but I strongly disagree.
My son is currently in 8th grade and always tells me about the crazy things students do to each other in his class. While I do believe some were inappropriate, I just took it as they being kids and would hopefully grow out of it once they get older. However, what my son told me happened yesterday was completely different. During his math online test, some students attempted to copy but were later caught by the teacher and ended up getting a failing mark. When his lesson ended, my son was having a conversation with these students and others from his class and the words they used to describe this teacher was honestly horrible and disgusting. I never imagined these children would know this many swear words! This was extremely inappropriate and I contacted the teacher and told her everything that happened and urged her to tell their parents about these students.
I told my husband and son about it and my son got very mad at me and told me they will all think he is the ‘teachers puppet’ and will lose his friends. My husband also agrees I was the asshole and to next time mind my own business. I told him that it is my business that these students have a terrible behavior.
​
Anyways, I would love to hear your thoughts about this. ###### | YTA. I’m a teacher and I’m sure my students talk smack about me when I’ve had to be particularly harsh. They’re kids, they’re venting about something that upset them and I would never take it personally if I heard about it. The teacher is a professional and you have put your son in a position to be bullied by his peers. You should have spoken to your son privately about why talking badly about people in that manner is inappropriate rather than reaching out to the teacher. ###### |
Throwaway for obvious reasons. Also this is long.
I (35F) married my husband (56 M) 5 years ago and his family has been awful to me and our son (7M) because I was the other woman. His ex-wife dragged him through a two year long contentious divorce and got the house, pretty much everything he owned except his business, and an exorbitant amount of child support.
They had three children together, “Junior” 24M, “Eve” 22F and “Kate” 16F). The older two do not acknowledge me. Kate is not rude because she generally stays with us every other weekend but she will not talk to me if she can avoid it. Our 7 year old “Brady” has cerebral palsy and is non verbal and non mobile, so they use that as an excuse not to develop a relationship with him at all. My husband was very close with Junior before we got together and they used to do typical father-son things. After his parents divorce, Junior grew distant and went away to college, and my son will never be able to do the bonding things my husband wants. Eve is engaged and stated that she does not want my husband to walk her down the aisle because he doesn’t “respect the covenant of marriage.” She’s also made it clear I’m not invited to the wedding.
My husband’s parents and sister are religious and do not approve of the adultery, the divorce or my having his child out of wedlock. When my father in law passed, he left his other grandchildren 6 figure inheritances on top of their college funds and left my son and husband just enough that we couldn’t contest the will. We recently found out that the whole family does zoom nights and exclude us.
We recently had an argument about his family and how they treat my son as less than equal. I said that I’m done with them and his children. I’m tired of watching my husband’s heart break and I want him stop begging his family to forgive him for a choice we made to be happy together. My husband said I was an asshole and he can’t just give up his kids to make me happy. So AITA? ###### | YTA. I'm honestly only sorry for your son. You and hubby dearest deserve every bit of the vitriol coming your way. Your husband cheated on his wife, and you were a knowing participant in the ruination of a marriage.
>I want him stop begging his family to forgive him for a choice we made to be happy together.
Have you ever apologized for your role in breaking apart your husband's children's family? Has he? I see a whole lot of wrongdoing from the both of you, but not one ounce of contrition. Pretty hard to forgive someone who isn't remotely sorry. ###### |
My ex-husband and I have been separated for a year now and I had recently seen on facebook that my step daughter had joined the military and was very excited about it.
This confused me because she's been diagnosed with depression and anxiety a couple years ago, and I was under the impression the military did not take people like that in.
I messaged her and asked her if she had disclosed her previous mental illnesses to the military. She said she hadn't because she knew she would not have been let in even though she felt "fine" now.
I called her recruiter and told him that she has a history of mental illness that she did not disclose. I was doing this out of worry for her. If the military finds out she lied, she could go to prison. He told me he would talk to me step daughter about it.
The next day, she calls me and was very upset on the phone. She asked me why would I ever say that and put her future in jeopardy. I told her that SHE was the one putting her future in jeopardy by lying to the US government! She said some very vile things to me and that was the last I've heard of her.
My ex husband called me and told me to "stay the fuck away from me and my family" and then blocked me on everything.
I don't see what I did wrong here. I was only looking out for her. Does she want to sit in prison for a couple years due to a lie? She can go to college like a normal girl her age. ###### | YTA. I'm a veteran, lots of us had depression at one point, but it's very commonly accepted that it is okay not to mention that at MEPPS. As long as she is okay at basic and AIT they're fine.
Anyway she wouldn't go to jail if they had a problem- just be kicked out.
You didn't know that, because you don't know this culture, but you still chose to put your 2 cents in which is an asshole move. ###### |
I know this isn't the practice for all people or couples, but I think it is good hygiene. This is even more true during summer when people sweat more and have more body oil.
In the past when she would spend the night, I never said anything, but now that we are living together and sharing a bed each night, I told her that she can't come home and crawl into bed without taking a shower. She has to take a shower unless she is sick or there's a good reason why.
She has taken this the wrong way and is viewing this as me telling her she is dirty, but it's not unique to her. I do this myself because I also would be gross if I didn't shower before bed. I don't think she is gross at all, and I think she actually would feel better and more relaxed if she took a pre-bed shower. I do.
She thinks I am being too rigid about, but to me this is all common sense and shouldn't be a controversial request.
AITA? ###### | YTA. I would say most people don’t shower before bed every night. Especially if they are showering every day in the morning. Just because you like to do that, doesn’t mean you should force your girlfriend to follow that. It’s not your choice. ###### |
My gf and I share 2 cats together. The first one we adopted about 4 years ago and the second one we rescued from the streets one year ago.
However our first cat started getting fat so my girlfriend started starving the cats basically. She feeds them 1/4 cup of food twice a day. If you look at how much 1/4 of dry cat food is, you’ll see it’s next to nothing. For one of the cats bowls it only fills like 1/4th of the entire shallow oval bowl.
The cats wake us up in the morning and try their best to get our attention at night because they’re so hungry. If you walk near their food they’ll run over thinking they’ll get fed. I feel so bad for them. We used to fill their bowls to the top and for a few months we had a gravity feeder. I at least tried to get the GF to go back to at least just filling the bowls normally. She won’t budge.
I’ve tried secretly feeding the cats extra but the GF found out and starts HIDING the food because I’m ruining their diet and feeding schedule.
She’s basically starving the cats. I’ve been contacting rescues on FB to see if they’ll take the cats and I posted their pictures on a local facebook group hoping to find a better fit because I don’t think my gf can properly take care of them anymore and she won’t let me properly feed the cats a good amount. Does this make me an asshole or is it the right thing to do for the welfare of the cats. I don’t think she see’s what she’s doing is wrong and wouldn’t willingly give the cats to a better home or adjust their feeding because one of them just happens to be little fat. ###### | YTA. I would bet money that you are actually the irresponsible pet owner that made your cats fat.They are cats. They aren't supposed to eat that much. Why don't you educate yourself on how much a cat is supposed to eat instead of undermining your partner? ###### |
Ok. Hear me out. I have a REGULAR name. I just like it pronounced a certain way. It’s literally like the saying “tomato, tomAto” same word but pronounced differently. So let’s say l like my name pronounced “tomato” I always introduce myself as “tomato” and I’ve never once said my name as “tomAto” but for some reason folks prefer to call me “tomAto vs tomato” and it IRKS me! I can’t understand why they can’t get it right.
Welllllllll, during our 70 person staff meeting some one called me “tomAto” and I flipped and stopped the meeting told the person how to pronounce my name and then taught the whole staff a song so they would remember how to pronounce my name correctly. Am I the ass hole?? ###### | YTA. I was 100% on your side at first. If you say your name like tar-a instead of tare-a or lar-ren instead of lor-ren, that IS your name and isn't open to interpretation, and I think it's appropriate to clarify.
But a song?? Really, a song??? ###### |
Me (28F) and my gf (26F) had been planning of getting married (as soon as the quarantine ends), but because of an argument we had these plans are on hold.
First some backstory. My MIL is very homophobic and tries to undermine my marriage every chance she can get. When we are with her, she barely interacts with me, only acting with disgust anytime she does. Even so, my gf still loves MIL for some reason. I tried before suggesting that we should go no contact with MIL, but my gf refused, stating that MIL was a nice person, she just had her faults.
Last night my gf and I got into a massive argument over the fact that my gf wanted MIL to attend the wedding and I did not. For context we were both fairly drunk, earlier we had a glass of wine with supper. We were talking about nothing in particular when we started talking about the wedding. My gf stated how she was looking forward to it, how she could not wait to see MIL on her big day. I, rather rudely I may add, shot her down, telling her that there was no way that I would allow MIL at our wedding. She would just ruin it with one of her homophobic rants. My gf starting to go on one of her dumb speeches, trying to justify MILs homophobic behaviour by saying that deep down MIL is actually a nice person. Now, it might have been the wine speaking, but I had enough. I started to scream at my gf, telling her to shut up, to start trying to justify a homophobe's actions. I was not going to let her misplaced loyalty to her family ruin our wedding. My gf starting ugly crying and ran out of the house, screaming incoherently at me as she got into her car.
Later I tried calling her, but she would not respond. I have heard from others that she is staying at a friend’s house. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to lose her over a stupid argument. Reddit, am I the asshole? ###### | YTA. I understand your concern but trying to force your SO to get no contact isn’t okay. That’s STILL her mom ###### |
I've been married to my wife for the past year three years and dated her for five before that. She's extremely family orientated. She loves family and being with family. Her picture of a refreshing day is spending the day with family members. Since her mother died pretty young, she became really attached to my mother who likes to baby my siblings and I. She feels like the two of them have a special relationship and she loves it.
Problem is, my mother doesn't like her. Nor does my father. I think they're just really hung up on my previous girlfriend who they were really rooting for. They aren't outright rude to her face and try to be friendly but they can be a bit off behind her back. One example would be their nickname for her which is Fiona. Obviously she loves it and sees it as something sentimental but it's actually just a reference to Shrek.
Today I was on a call with them and my mom asked how Fiona was. I shouted at her to stop using that name (spoken about it before) and warned her against calling her that. My wife overheard the conversation and asked me why I was so upset over it. Eventually I told her the truth and she understandably was angry. I gave her space and she called her dad. I didn't want to eavesdrop on the conversation but she did call me an asshole. I understand that she's upset and rightfully so but to be honest I'm struggling to see the wrong in me lying to her about this. She was happy in the ignorance of what was going on, my kids were happy with their grandparents in their lives and I was happy keeping the peace. Aita? ###### | YTA. I understand you're trying not to hurt your wife's feelings but she's an adult and if people are being mean about her behind her back and you're aware of it, you should let her know what's happening while also telling off or even going low contact with those people who are being rude. You can't play it both ways. Your parents need to know their comments are mean and hurtful and they need to face consequences of their actions, if they don't, they won't ever stop. Put an end to this and be more honest with your wife.
EDIT for typos and also to add-- what's going to happen when your kids get older, are they going to join in with their grandparents in making fun of their mom? This is a messed up situation. Tell your wife. ###### |
My fiance and I have been together for 3 years, and yesterday he made dinner, and set up candles, and designed a whole romantic evening for us, and then asked me to marry him. I of course said yes. He got me a tiffany's ring, and its absolutely gorgeous. The stone is huge. It was big enough that I had to ask how much it cost, because I sent him a couple rings that I liked the style of so that he didn't go off into la la land buying a ring I wouldn't like. All of the rings I sent him had modest sized stones.
He told me it cost $20,000. I honestly didn't know what to say. That's just a ridiculous amount to spend on a ring. For him it does fall under the 2 month salary rule, but its just beyond stupid to spend that much on a ring. I'm obvious very happy that he wanted to get me something nice, but that's just irresponsible.
I told him that $20,000 was way too much to spend, and he should take it back and return it, and get something in a similar style that's 1/20 the price. He said he couldn't just return it, and that I should be happy that he was willing to spend that much. Don't get me wrong, I am, but again, its just beyond ridiculous. He's not a billionaire, there are much better things to spend money on. I gave him the ring back and told him to get his money back. Today he's seemed down all day and I suspect it was about the ring, and now I feel like an asshole. AITA? ###### | YTA. I understand where your coming from and I would feel the same, but he spent time and money to try to make this special. If you really have a problem with it, you should’ve said something later. That was supposed to be a beautiful moment and now your questioning about how much he spent. Sometimes just enjoy the moment. ###### |
I have a canary mastiff, Tubs. He's a *big* guy, and I got him because he fits me. I want a dog that will be a guard dog, intimidating to protect against intruders. He's not a puppy and he's not a lap dog.
I don't baby talk him or treat him like a little child. I feed him home cooked meals with fresh meat every day, take him on walks and runs all the time, give him toys to play with for designated play times, but it's usually a practical toy. Not a teddy bear. Point is I take care of him and treat him like a respected adult, like I'm hanging out with another man.
But my roommate Anne thinks he's just a big teddy bear. She's always petting him and giving him kisses, baby talking him, getting him stuffed animals, etc. I've asked her to stop, I don't want Tubs becoming so friendly that he will be nullified as a guard dog. That if she wants to baby talk a dog, get her own, I want mine treated like he's competent.
Anne agreed but I still would catch her baby talking him. The other day I went to get some groceries, came back and saw she had him on her bed watching movies like they were having some sleepover. I called Tubs to me and told Anne to leave him alone, he's not her dog, and she needs to get her own.
She started crying, and for the last couple days she doesn't talk to me. He's my dog and I want him raised my way. Is this such a terrible request? ###### | YTA. I train protection dogs for a living. This is not how you train a dog to guard.
Working dogs need affection. Using baby talk, cuddles, and teddy bears as toys won’t hurt their training. It sounds like you don’t really know what you’re doing, and with a canary mastiff from, that can go horribly wrong. I highly recommend working with a very experienced trainer. ###### |
My daughter is an incoming junior in college. She is stuck between business/data science and medicine as a career path. She's taking an introductory data science course this summer along with a general biology class.
She told me that her biology quizzes are 15 minutes long with 10 questions, and you're not allowed to go back after selecting an answer. There are also penalties for guessing on some questions. Out of 20 points, the mean was 11 and the SD was 3. My daughter got a 14/20, but...I was hoping she got a 17 or 18 out of 20. 14/20 is a 70% and it feels like a C- to me regardless of what the mean and SD were.
When I asked what she got, I started off with 18/20? 17/20? 16/20? And she just glared at me angrily. I don't know why.
And honestly I am her mom and I feel like I know her the best...and deep down I just feel like she is not really smart enough for the medical path, or good enough at science to make it. Her science GPA is a 3.6, and she had to P/NP Organic Chemistry 2 last semester (would have received a B+).
I told her that she needed to be more focused when watching her biology lectures and that she needed to decide whether she was interested in medicine, and do a better job of showing her interest/stop complaining about how the quizzes are given/how hard they are. I do not want her to never commit to anything and be on my husband and I's payroll forever.
I also told her that her aunt (my sister) suggested that she take biology at a community college first since my kid didn't take AP Biology in high school, and my daughter got mad at me and said that she scored an SD above the mean as evidence that she was smart enough to handle the content.
She hasn't really spoken to me after I said all that and so I am wondering if I am the asshole. I felt like I was just being brutally honest. I don't sugarcoat, ever. ###### | YTA. I think if you asked a few working medical professionals what their GPAs were in school you'd be surprised. Your daughter is in college to learn- she doesn't have to be perfect throughout. Quit micromanaging and lay off her. She might have an easier time deciding what she actually wants to do with her life if you were actually supportive and not criticizing every little assignment. ###### |
weird title, and this’ll sound fake, but it’s 100% true. my girlfriend (26F) and i (29M) have been dating for 5 years and have been living together for 1. shes vegan and health conscious and i am too. but here’s where the problem lies.
she really likes proportioned foods. things that are already packaged in small portions to prevent her from over-snacking. that’s normal, but she gets these small apple sauce pouches and these fruit purée pouches, small low calorie snacks that are literally made by Gerber and they’re intended for literal babies.
she likes them bc to her, they taste good, they’re low calorie, and again, they’re already portioned into small servings. but it’s literally childish. it’s for BABIES. there’s plenty of “adult” foods that are small portioned and low calorie. every time we have family or friends over they always comment on that food being in the fridge and some even question if we have a kid or not. it’s just annoying and unnecessary.
so i asked her to stop buying these snacks and get something more “grown up” and she simply said “no”. she even tried to show me on her phone that what she’s doing is common and that so many other adults eat these snacks but i wasn’t buying it so it broke into a whole fight, where i was calling her immature and saying she had to grow up (i know, that was rude) and she was saying that im being a dickhead for getting mad at her for something that she says is harmless.
am i the asshole for wanting her to grow up and eat food that’s actually not intended for infants?? ###### | YTA. I read this 6 times hoping to find a way to side with you cause I had a similar problem in my life where my wife eats the baby snacks. But my problem is we have a baby, and when the baby snacks are gone the baby will dip into my snacks which how dare you baby, how dare you.
It does not matter to you. At all. It does not affect you. At all. Frankly you benefit cause you get to have a happy, physically fit partner all for the low cost of minding your business/not worrying about unimportant things. ###### |
So my boyfriend (26m) and I (24f) have been pretty bored recently. We were on a zoom call when a friend of ours brought up the idea of the "freebie list" - aka the five people you can cheat on your SO with. Obviously, this isn't actually real and I don't think any couple takes it seriously.
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But we were both bored so we decided to have a laugh and create our own freebie lists while both acknowledging that this was just a fantasy and that neither of us would cheat on each other. My freebie list was pretty normal but when I saw his, I noticed a pattern.
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Four of his five were Asian or of Asian descent. I starting thinking about all of his previous girlfriends that I know of from his middle-school girlfriend to the one before me and realized I'm the first white woman he's ever dated (which his friends later confirmed for me). I kind of jokingly called him out on his yellow fever which he got really offended at and he said he's not some "creepy fetishist looking for a submissive Asian wife."
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This started a huge argument where he got really angry and refused to speak to me. This is where I may be a bit of the AH in that I didn't really take it seriously and made jokes about it which just made him angrier. Obviously, I'm not offended that he's had yellow fever in the past - he's dating me now and I'm secure enough to know he's not going to cheat on me.
Instead of my normally awesome boyfriend, he's turned into this sulking mess who refuses to talk to me.
So, AITA? ###### | YTA. I might have gone for ESH but does anybody else feel that her comment about him being Asian changes the context of this argument enormously to make her even more of an AH? ###### |
My son is engaged to his best friend since P6 (Grade 4-5) and his best friend is a male and my Sister (his aunt) is Homophobic and I know she wouldn't approve of the marriage, So I have kept the relationship secret to her until now and she said she wanted an invite to the wedding, I thought this was ridiculous as she has cut contact with me (but not my son or daughter) ever since i came out as Bisexual. But now she approves of this relationship, So I told my son not to invite her and he took a fit saying how *I* cut contact with her as I didn't like that she was against it when that was not the case. My son will no longer speak to me and said I am no longer invited to the wedding.
So Reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA. I mean, you say your sister is a homophobe, but loves your son and his fiance? You realize that these things are either explained by growth or you having a basic misunderstanding of who she was to begin with. Either way, he has a great relationship with his aunt and you don't ever get to dictate who he invites to his wedding. I think you need to apologize to him and ask humbly if he will let you back into his life.
And maybe revisit your relationship with your sister. Hopefully she can accept you for who you are now. It sounds like her heart is bigger than you thought it was. Life is short. ###### |
A lil backstory: I'm 34M, and have never come close to having a SO. And I don't mean I'm one of those people things never got serious with, I mean I've never even had a woman express the tiniest interest or go along if I did. It goes without saying that I'm a virgin, but I've never even had a kiss or held hands with a woman.
Before anyone asks, no, I don't think I'm entitled to those things, or that there's something wrong with women for not being interested in me. I'm not some incel dipshit. I'm just an overweight guy with bad social skills.
And yes I've tried therapy. The therapist told me to lose weight and "get out more". Fat lot of good that advice did me.
Anyways, at my age I'm pretty much the only single guy left in my social circle, and as a result pretty much every gathering involves a large amount of everyone else getting affectionate with their partners.
It's not that I resent them being happy or that I dislike their partners. It's just that it hurts seeing everyone around you holding hands, kissing, sweet-talking, leaning on each other, and stuff all the time, when the closest I've ever come to that (and at this rate probably ever will) was being paired with a girl classmate in school for projects (which, I might add, they quite visibly disliked).
Last Friday we were out at a local pub, and sure enough it was three pairs of people and me. We weren't at our table for long before one of them had their girlfriend leaning into their lap, and another one of my friends was playing with his partner's hair.
I held it together for as long as I could, but when one of them started making innuendo about their (R rated) plans that evening, I kind of lost it. I didn't raise my voice or insult them or anything, but I told them I was sick of them "rubbing each other in my face". From then on dinner was awkward but not hostile.
They acted like I was the worst person ever and haven't really been very nice to me since. Was I the asshole? ###### | YTA. i mean i totally empathize with you and it really sounds sucky what you're going through but people will be in relationships. i don't think you're really an asshole though but in this instance..... people will be affectionate. they're not going to stop hugging and kissing and stuff because it makes you uncomfortable. have you tried the suggestions that your therapist have given you. ###### |
My son and DIL got married this year and they are expecting a little boy in November around Thanksgiving. She has three kids from a previous marriage a set of twins 5, and a 2 1/2 year old. My son has always wanted to have a farm and this April they bought a bunch of animals that they have been taking care of.
Well my son has worked full time at a job and he also has his own business that he works at on his days off. Very hardworking man. His wife used to work at a university but has been laid off since March. Her only income has been child support that she uses to be her kids things and groceries and occasionally the animal feed. She pays for no other bills, my son does. She also is a rather plain Jane as she doesn’t even wear makeup or wear nice clothes just a t shirt and maternity jeans.
Well she was supposed to go back to work next month so I was having dinner with them at their home and asked about childcare for the kids. She then informs me that since they have been fine while she has been off work that she won’t be going back and will be homeschooling the 5 year olds and that the baby was due in November and that my son wants her to stay home and care for the baby instead of a stranger.
My son is sweet man but he is easily manipulated and I feel that’s what she is doing. When my son left the room I told her that she needed to go back to work and pull her own and her kids weight and that my son shouldn’t have to support her and her kids as they weren’t his and for her to stop using him for her own personal gain. She began to cry and went upstairs. My son came down and asked me what I said and he told me that they both talked about this and made a decision and I was out of line. He asked me to leave. His own mother. My husband told me that I need to go over there and apologize but I stand by what I said. AITA? ###### | YTA. I love that you say he's easily manipulate and in the next breath immediately try to manipulate the situation. *chef kiss* Perfection. ###### |
I have been dealing with the fallout of this since Sunday.
Some backstory:
My mom is a huge animal fan and loves Deer. She has deer mugs, a deer phone case, socks etc. You name it she probably has a deer related item of it.
For Mother's day I got her one of those mounted trophy deer heads to put above the fireplace since she loves deer so much and had been talking about getting something to put above the fireplace since the wall up there is pretty bare.
Upon opening her present, she got really upset and stormed into her room, locked it and now refuses to talk to me. I think I heard her crying in there.
My dad told me she is really upset about it and didn't want to see a dead deer let alone one in her house. He wants me to apologize but I don't really think I did anything wrong. How was I supposed to know she would react like that?
AITA? ###### | YTA. I love cats but I sure as fuck don't want a taxidermied cat above my fireplace. You could have gotten her a pair of antlers since those can fall off naturally or a resin cast of a pair. But if she has soooooo much deer merch and loves animals and deer why the hell would you think it was a good idea to get her a mount? ###### |
So I play a lot of video games, and like most gamers, my online friends are all in different time zones. Usually we all get on at around 12:00 am my time, and I stay up untill 4:00 am usually. It has been this way since quarantine.
We usually play games like Gmod TTT which can get heated at times and cause me to talk a bit loud. I play with my door closed and actively try to stay quite, especially late at night, but sometimes a death squeal or two is forced out of me.
Some of my mom's friends had an unfortunate event happen to them two days ago and as a result, have moved in with us (a family of three in a already crowed house). My mom said it's possible they stay with us for up to 6 months, and the last time she said that (about a different family), they ended up staying for 3 years...
I'm also introverted, so the introduction of more people has definitely made my life more uncomfortable, but I haven't complained or said anything about the situation, because I know their in a tight spot.
So today I'm going about my night as usual, playing TTT with my friends at 2 am when my mom walks in and starts telling me off for still being up. She said she's going to talk to me in the morning because I'm keeping our guest up.
Am I wrong in thinking that I shouldn't change the way I live because we graciously invited a family to live with us? It would be a nother story if it was temporary, but I'm not going to quite playing with my friends for 6 months+!
I think they should adapt to the way we live, not the other way around. Especially since their moving in at a unfortunate time (lots of construction is going on in our house which has already causes a lot of chaos and clutter).
Besides, it's not like I can just fix my sleep schedule, at this point it's too far gone. I would need something like school to force me into waking up early again. ###### | YTA. I live with someone who does this and its downright intolerable. At 2-4am, most people are sleeping. And furthermore, it's still your mother's house and her guest, who might be disturbed by you but is doesn't want to inconvenience their hosts.
I've seen some of your comments where you say you try but in your post you add "death squeals". In addition, you could be unaware of whether your own level of volume is loud or not given that I play games myself and can get really engrossed in it.
You could play at a lower volume, so that the shock of jumpscares isn't as strong. You could also quickly cover your mouth for example, to dampen your screams or yells. These are some of things I've done for myself, and may not work for you exactly. But the point is, try and work on it. If you have roommates in the future, I'd doubt they'd tolerate it. ###### |
My roommate and I have been living together for a little over six months. She is a huge inspiration to me. She is gorgeous, I shape, intellectual, etc.
She’s put me on to her lifestyle. With her help I have lost just over 40 pounds since she moved in, i feel better than I have in my whole life, since I’ve been underweight since I was a child. She also introduced me to a lot of different food, movies, music, and other things. She has really helped me come out of my shell and I’m eternally grateful to her.
My roommate came back from a run the other morning, and she looked like she was glowing! I snapped a quick picture of her laughing at something silly that her dog was doing. I posted it to Instagram, and typed out a long caption about how awesome she is and how thankful I am for her help.
Everyone in the comments for the picture was calling her beautiful and congratulating me on my progress. My roommate care to me a couple of hours later and told me to take the picture down because she looked a mess. She told me she didn’t appreciate me posting it. That really hurt my feelings because I was singing her praises and trying to show my gratitude to her.
I told her that she looked amazing in the picture, and that she shouldn’t worry about it. Everyone was saying how beautiful she was. She told me she didn’t care, and wanted the picture taken down. I told her no, she should stop being vain. She tried to get my phone from me and delete it herself, and that’s when we got into an argument. She is trying to report me to Instagram, and publicly calling me a stalker for not taking the picture down.
This is out of character for her, so I’m wondering if I’m really an asshole for trying to show my appreciation to someone. ###### | YTA. I know your intentions are good, but if she doesn’t want a picture of her posted, that’s her prerogative, and you have no right to tell her she’s wrong or dismiss her thoughts/feelings/wants. ###### |
I’m on mobile so I don’t know how to add the spoiler tag, so there’s ish spoilers ahead.
My sister (20F) and I (16F) live together. My sister is a big fan of this famous Spanish show on Netflix. She’s obsessed with it and she binged practically the entire thing in a week. Her absolute favourite character that she was always talking about, died in the last season.
After watching it she ran upstairs to her room and cried for a straight two hours. It’s been two days and she hasn’t left her room and eats all her food inside her room too. It’s getting kind of irritating because whenever she comes downstairs she won’t stop talking about the character who died. Maybe she connected with her especially or related to her, I don’t know but I really feel like she should get over it and this isn’t healthy anyway, grieving a fictitious character that much.
My sister had an abortion two years ago, I don’t know if that’s related to the character at all but she had a son I think. That’s the excuse she’s giving but seriously, she’s mourning like the character is real.
Finally today after she wouldn’t come downstairs for breakfast and sat in her room with the curtains closed, I stomped upstairs and told her to get the fuck over it, she’s not a real character and it’s just a TV show. She started crying and told me to get out.
Honestly I don’t really think I’m the asshole but AITA? ###### | YTA. I know the show you're talking about. There was a big plot point where the character lost her child and had a huge trauma due to that but decided she wants yo move on and get pregnant again after the thing they do. They made her really excited about being a mother again and settling down and becoming happy. Then they killed her off. So obviously this is projecting on your sister's part and this plot point could have been extremely triggering to her. Go apologize, kid. ###### |
My girlfriend (56) and I (51) have been together for about a year. I am divorced and she is a widow. Her husband passed away about three years ago.
She has a wall in her house where she measured her kids height growing up. Her kids are adults now in their 20’s, but they have their heights from when they were really little kids to fully grown. Her former husband is marked on the wall too.
We rented most of our lives so we never really had a wall like this. One day when my kids were over for dinner we decided to measure them on the wall. My girlfriend didn’t seem to mind and was acting like it was cute.
Her kids came over to visit at one point and saw the wall and they were seriously upset about it. They said it was a personal thing for their childhoods that was important to them and we were invading on that. It is just a wall and we didn’t erase theirs, just added ours.
The thing is, they always act like we are in the way of their lives. When we went on vacation with them, they acted like it was their vacation and we were just guests. No matter what we do they’re always angry about something. I think they are just being too sensitive and looking for something to be mad about. ###### | YTA. I initially thought you were at least married and a “one big family,” and maybe I can see that, but you’re merely dating and you were just GUESTS IN HER HOME and you thought that was appropriate?!?! Who goes into basically a friend’s house and starts writing on the walls? While you’re at it, go paste your head onto their dad’s body in family photos and see if she has his wedding ring laying around since no ones using it. ###### |
AITA: so I have a teacher coworker who runs in my circles. We get along on the surface but she is extremely gossipy and starts a lot of problems that I have to deal with. Lately, she has been posting photos of herself dressed up... racy. Nothing nudity wise, but tops that are mostly see through, crop tops, super short shorts, etc. Also, her profile is not private and she has students following her on IG. Now, I know it’s petty and vindictive but also, if you have students and students parents as friends, they can all see that. Aren’t we (as teachers) supposed to be setting a better example? I submitted the photos to HR for them to decide. But now I feel like the Ahole... she’s a tennis coach as well and she peppers her racy photos through there posts about her team and the school. Anyways, I don’t feel like teachers should represent themselves like that, but I could also just be the Ahole who would have a better day without her around. ###### | YTA. I hate the argument about teachers being “held to a higher standard” when we barely pay them livable wages. Teachers don’t get paid enough to have to deal with these extra layers of scrutiny! They need to be good at their jobs and professional with parents and colleagues. That’s it.
You were wrong and need to route this energy toward addressing her actual behavior at work. ###### |
My last experience in this sub was bad but let’s try again. I (27M) have recently start working at a grocery store. My coworker (we’ll call her Kira) is pretty chill and we’ve become friends lately.
Kira loves trying new stuff with her hair and she’s had a lot of free time lately due to obvious reasons. She has been stung, bleaching, and otherwise changing her hair a lot. It’s really fried unfortunately and basically looks like straw. It’s a discolored yellowish green at the moment and she’s really unhappy with it.
She was telling me about it while we were stocking a few days ago and she asked if I think a short hair would suit her. I suggested that she just shave it off and start over given how her hair is extremely damaged and dead. She didn’t react in the moment but I later found out she was hurt. She texted one of our other coworkers about it and he told me I’d hurt Kira’s feelings.
Now I’m a pretty honest guy and usually give it to people straight. I think if a friend asks for advice you’re a bad friend if you are dishonest or sugarcoat the truth. But the thing is, I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. AITA? ###### | YTA. I Get you were well intentioned, but you screwed up.
You basically told her that her hair is so awful she'd look better bald, that's pretty insulting
>I’m a pretty honest guy and usually give it to people straight.
This is what a***holes say
> I think if a friend asks for advice you’re a bad friend if you are dishonest or sugarcoat the truth.
Except, she didn't ask for that advice, you gave unsolicited advice. That's rude. She asked if you think she would suit short hair, not if she should shave it off, nor was she asking for your opinion on the current state of her hair.
All you had to do was say, 'Yes, you would suit short hair.' ###### |
This happened a few minutes ago so it's still fresh on my mind, so I ordered chick fil a for lunch with doordash. So the guy finally arrives and he hands me my bag and instead of my Sprite in the chick fil a cup he hands me a sprite bottle and tells me that when he was driving to my house with my food the top wasn't put on correctly and when he hit a pothole the drink spilled everywhere. He told me he went to a store that was nearby and picked up a bottled sprite, I asked him why didn't you go back and he said he didn't want to be late. I told him that I want a refund for my drink and he said that he bought me another one with his money and I told him I don't care and he went in his pockets and gave me my refund for my drink. I felt like I was in the right but my roommates overheard our conversation and said that I should have just taken the sprite he gave me and leave it at that. So reddit AITA? ###### | YTA. I get the feeling that even if he *did* go back to get another one and be late, you would complain about your food being cold. So, either way, delivery guy was going to lose with you.
You took his money, and probably didn't tip him either. ###### |
I met my (42M) wife (34F) 9 years ago, her son John is 14.
My wife has John 3 weeks of the month.
My wife is due to give birth any day, she was actually due last week, her pregnancy has been extremely stressful and she’s been on bed rest for most of it.
Her son has been extremely difficult lately; saying I’m not his dad and that he’s afraid the baby will grow up to be like me and being disrespectful.
I tolerated it for a week because he’s going through a hard time but I’m fed up.
I asked my wife to send him to his fathers until the baby is born, maybe a week after the baby is born even.
She refused saying that she gets wanting a week after the baby is born and she’ll sort that out but she won’t send him home during her custody time, even though they’ve spent like an hour together the past two weeks.
She believes he’ll link the baby to being sent home, I believe at his attitude he’s old enough to know that we need peace and quiet at this time.
She believes that I’m being out of order, I’d ask her to speak to him but last time she did he lashed out and now she’s pass her due date I don’t want to stress her out more.
He’s too old to be acting like this when we’re both stressed out because of this complicated pregnancy, which he’s aware of.
AITA? ###### | YTA. I feel horrible for this child who you clearly plan to treat as less than your new baby. He *is* home. He is your stepson, not your wife's son. Please change your attitude before you do irreparable damage to this child and your family. ###### |
I (21M) sing in the shower, and I really can't help it. It's just something I do and sometimes I catch myself doing it without even realizing that I'm doing it. Lately though, I've been playing music and singing along with it.
I will admit, I am pretty much tone deaf, and my friends won't let me hear the end of it.
Since the recent worldly problems, I have been living at home with my parents and family again. I really didn't want to come back here, but they begged me to, so here I am.
I have been taking showers every other night at around 8PM, I turn on my music and start singing.
My parents and siblings put up with it for the first few showers, but since then have been getting sick of it.
The other night my bro literally opened up the door and just screamed "SHUT THE FUCK UP" and slammed the door. Holy fuck, that scared the shit out of me. I went to complain to my parents and they both looked at each other and said "you're not exactly the best singer you know". Ok yes, I know but hearing them say it like that really made me mad.
I only take showers for like 10 minutes every other night, so it's not even that big of a deal for me to just enjoy myself for such a short amount of time. I told everyone in the house that I will continue to sing since they were the ones that begged me to stay back at home. My brother rolled his eyes and my parent's said that its inconsiderate. AITA? ###### | YTA. I feel bad saying that, because this is clearly an activity that makes you happy. But you admit to being tone deaf, your friends criticizing your singing, and your family is united against you, so it must be pretty bad. Go on a drive and sing in your car (windows up, please). ###### |
We have been dating for a year and he was showing me old photos from years ago, then photos of him and his ex came up. I said he should probably delete those now considering how serious we are, but then he snapped back saying they are memories and when he gets older he wants to have them to reminisce. AITA for wanting him to delete the photos off the phone or am I being immature for being mad that he wants to keep them? I personally always delete photos of my exs when I’m in a new relationship, but he is calling me crazy for saying he should delete them. ###### | YTA. I don’t know why most comments make a difference between those photos being on a hard drive somewhere or on his phone. Personally, all my photos still fit on my phone (a usual phone comes with several 100GB nowadays), so they are all there. That doesn’t mean I scroll through them daily.
Your phone memory can be the modern equivalent of a photo album. Would you ask him to throw away a photo album of him and his ex ?
If you don’t, I don’t see any conceptual difference between photos on phone or album. If you do, you’re weirdly controlling and YTA. ###### |
GF and I were talking and she wants to get on Birth Control to help with her cramps, which I was iffy about because of the effects it can have on her body (hormonal changes, lower libido, lack of natural lubrication, weight gain, etc). I pretty much condensed it down to it's your choice, but consider my input and keep me in the know. To which she argued it's her body and I shouldn't be part of that decision. I told her that if that's her point of view, then by that logic, whether I wear a condom or not should by my choice and she shouldn't have to part in it because it's my body.
Anyways, AITA for wanting to be in the loop?
**Edit:** I'm seeing several interesting points of view, but to clarify, I did look over the positives and negatives of BC although I'm only stating the negatives. She has body image issue (I think she's fine as she is, even if she's pudgy in certain areas, I love her for her), I'm concerned weight gain could make it worse as it is hard enough now and is a constant struggle to get her to accept she's perfect the way she and I stand behind belief despite her being insecure.
And regarding a lower libido, I know it can go the other way and result in a higher one as well (which I have no issue with), I just want her to look at both sides of the coin. Sex affects both of us and is an important part of our relationship (although not a primary focus, it's a small important part).
**Edit 2:** I'll show her this post and see how she feels about it, I just wanted to see other people's take on this, I appreciate the input as I'm sure she will as well. ###### | YTA. i do think she should inform you if she's on birth control, as a point of being in a sexual relationship, but you sound like an insufferable ass for bringing up side effects that you would find displeasing which are all mitigatable except in rare cases.
when you've experienced a period, then you can have an opinion on whether or not she should try a medication that can help her. until then, stfu about it. ###### |
I'm 38M and my sister is 35F
When my sister was 21 she got pregnant from a one night stand, baby didnt make it unfortunately which devastated my sister but with therapy she moved on.
She met her partner a year later, four years ago she had their first child.
We're currently living with my mother to stay close together.
We got onto the topic of children and while I don't want children (neither does my partner) apparently my sisters partner wants another one so that way their child has a sibling.
She changed subject quickly and we moved on to another subject.
We got speaking about it later and I asked her if she wanted another child, basically she said she didnt believe her son needed a sibling.
I said,, "*well, he technically already has a sibling doesn't he?*"
Apparently her partner overheard and they got into a huge argument because she hadnt told him.
She's upset with me for talking about it at all and for basically telling her husband
And her partner is upset with her, it's all a huge thing.
My mother thinks I should've never mentioned it and believes I'm out of order here.
I think her partner should've known anyway
AITA?
She had a stillbirth for everyone wondering. ###### | YTA. I cannot believe you said "well, he technically already has a sibling doesn't he?"
You win the award for asshole of the week. Even if everyone knew why would you bring up someone's dead child in such a flippant unfeeling way? A miscarriage or dead child (you don't specify which) is not "a sibling"!!! WTF! ###### |
My girlfriend (56) and I (51) have been together for about a year. I am divorced and she is a widow. Her husband passed away about three years ago.
She has a wall in her house where she measured her kids height growing up. Her kids are adults now in their 20’s, but they have their heights from when they were really little kids to fully grown. Her former husband is marked on the wall too.
We rented most of our lives so we never really had a wall like this. One day when my kids were over for dinner we decided to measure them on the wall. My girlfriend didn’t seem to mind and was acting like it was cute.
Her kids came over to visit at one point and saw the wall and they were seriously upset about it. They said it was a personal thing for their childhoods that was important to them and we were invading on that. It is just a wall and we didn’t erase theirs, just added ours.
The thing is, they always act like we are in the way of their lives. When we went on vacation with them, they acted like it was their vacation and we were just guests. No matter what we do they’re always angry about something. I think they are just being too sensitive and looking for something to be mad about. ###### | YTA. I can see why they don’t like you.
My mum was devastated when we had the kitchen remodelled because it means the measurement lines were removed. I can’t begin to imagine how upset her kids are at you imposing yourself onto their childhood memory. ###### |
This happened days ago, but my boyfriend brought it up again. I'm white, he is black. I hurt my eye one day and it left a mark on my cheek, like a really big one. One day we both went out, a police walked by and stopped us and asked if everything was alright, and I said yes. I get extremely nervous around cops for some reason lol (I got caught smoking weed, we live in a country where weed is taboo so I was a bit traumatised), I said yes everything is fine and probably looked terrified or suspicious. He pulled my boyfriend to the side and questioned him while I was standing there. The police officer said they will talk to my BF at the station and I thought fuck they caught him with weed, he smokes as well. I was allowed to stand outside the police office and it took about 10 minutes and then they let him go. My boyfriend was furious and literally just didn't talk to me at all. I asked what happened???? Did they find any weed on you??? He told me everything that happened, they thought he had abused me etc and he said it was because he was black they thought he did something to me. I thought that was stupid and I'm sure they just were worried about me because he is very tall big and im like 5'0 and small, plus I look very young for my age. He said I shouldve done something but I just let it happen and its partly my fault. I dont see it as being my fault.
Today he brought it up again saying how bad of a girlfriend I am for not defending him against racism.
Edit: As I mentioned in my post, I am terrified of cops or anything with authority. I would never just do or say anything that would trigger them, because after all, we do smoke weed and I was not sure if he had anything on him so I didn't want to escalate the situation.
Edit 2: I see a lot of comment about the cop being totally racist. We live in a small little country in europe, it think there is a difference between being black in my little country and in the US because of history.
AITA? ###### | YTA. I can see where the cops are coming from. A woman with a huge bruise acting all skittish, other people would suspect abuse, too. That being said, the fact that you didn't bother to help clear up the misunderstanding is what makes you the asshole. ###### |
My cousin \[30M\] is getting married to his girlfriend of 4 years, \[29F\]. The wedding will be in January 2021 and the invitations arrived 2 days ago. His girlfriend's family is very rich/formal and the invitations reflected that.
My husband and I \[27F\] received the invite in the mail, and they were addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith." I was livid, because they totally erased my name and my identity by referring to me as an extension of my husband. My husband thought it was old fashioned but he didn't think it was offensive.
I called my cousin yesterday night, and told him that I will not be attending because of the wording on the invitation. I said, technically he didn't even invite ME because he never even wrote my own name on the invitation. I mean, I go by my maiden name and I never took my husband's last name when we married.
My cousin apologized, said his girlfriend and her family were mainly responsible for the wedding planning, including the invitations, and he said they didn't know they were addressed like that. He said others received their invites a few days ago and nobody has complained about them so far. I told him that's no excuse for the blatant sexism on his invites and that we will not be attending.
My mother thinks I'm overreacting, she said my aunt is very upset at me and says I'm being a "drama queen". AITA here? ###### | YTA. I am a feminist, but I think you’re choosing the wrong battle here and being a little petty. They addressed the invitations in a formal and traditional way. It’s not really setting feminism back in any way. Don’t be petty. If your cousin is important to you, you should go. ###### |
So daughter lives a few states away from us with her husband so we don’t see them too often. We are currently visiting for the week but things are rocky right now because of what I’m about to explain.
They like to use those Alexa devices. Before we arrived I told her I would not tolerate that she keep them out while we are here. She just told me “no” and said I’m being rude to demand that. I said I don’t care and they better be gone when we get there. I feel like she is extremely stupid and naive to think it’s safe to use those things. I don’t want my every word listened to.
Well of course we get there any she still has them out. so I did what I had to and when she or her husband weren’t looking I unplugged them and tossed them in the trash. I feel like I’m justified because 1: she blankety disrespected my concerns and 2: she needed to learn this lesson at some point, she is stupid to own this stalkerish device, it listens to everything. Once she found out she got so pissed and told me I’m fucking insane. I told her she’s being stupid and naive and she disrespected me. Then she told me I’m being a hypocrite because I have a smartphone that listens to me all the time anyway and by my logic I should throw that away too. Uh yeah no, I don’t even use hey Siri and her mother doesn’t use google assistant. She is blatantly wrong about that. Then she demanded that I get them from the trash. I refused of course and now things are not good right now. She could’ve just put them away like I told her to but Instead she decided to ruin what could’ve been a good trip over a couple of stalking devices. Not just disrespectful but just plain stupid imo. She needs to learn yet refuses to do so. AITA? ###### | YTA. I also hate Alexa & Co and would never buy them for myself or have them in my home—but you weren’t in your home, you were in hers. You had the right to ask (not tell!!) her to remove them, and she had the right to say no. Apologize and offer to pay to replace them. You disrespected HER, and don’t seem to have any concept of that. I hope you can find a way to communicate with your daughter better.
You ruined your visit, not her. ###### |
My sister and I are twins (25). She has a husband and now is having a child. I'm in a lesbian relationship and have been with my partner for nearly a year. My sister is borderline homophobic and has never made the effort with my partner. She always refers to her as my friend and that it's not possible to love somebody of the same sex. Anyway she had her baby shower last week and there was most of our family there. After she got most her gifts I proposed to my girlfriend. I've been planning this for around 2 months and decided I wanted to do it at my sisters baby shower as a way to show off my partner and how much I love her. It was an awkward disaster. She said yes btw. Anyway my sister was really rude to me and my parents weren't happy but supported my descion. My sister then texted me and said how disrespectful and fucked I am to marry my "dyke friend" at her baby shower. She still is furious at me but I don't see anything wrong with it. AITA ###### | YTA. How tacky. Not only that, but you knew your sister was going to react badly because she’s homophobic, so you also took a decent proposal away from your partner. You knew it was going to be a mess and you did it anyway without any regards to how you partner might feel about it. ###### |
My wife is around 3 months pregnant I believe. I went to one appointment with her and she told the doctor she was bleeding. (It was like a few spots) and they had to schedule us for an ultrasound and that made our 30 minute check up turn into a three hour ordeal just for them to tell us the baby was fine and it was probably due to heavy lifting or intercourse.
She’s also complaining all the time that she’s to sick to cook or clean and wants me to pick up the slack. I have a previous son who lives with me full time and she said she’s too sick to give him his bath at night and put him to bed now so I have to do everything. Plus I have two other daughters that I have visitation with and she’s too sick to care for them when they are here now too.
My daughters mother is also expecting again and found out it was a little boy and she told my wife about it and they were talking about how her fiancé treats her like a queen. He’s waiting on her hand and foot. Running her a bath, cooking dinner, getting up with my daughters at night if they get thirsty and tending her to her other child as well. So now my wife has this same expectation for me.
Either one of my kids moms didn’t act like this while we were together and I told my wife she was just milking it for all that it’s worth. AITA? ###### | YTA. How inconvenient for you, that you had to stay with your pregnant wife at her appointment longer than you expected, because she wanted to know if the bleeding/spotting was something to be alarmed about. You know that miscarriage often starts with spotting right?
How inconvenient for you that you have to actually parent your other 3 children and your pregnant wife can't do it for you.
Funny how you say that your exes never acted like this when they were pregnant, while one of your exes is telling your current wife how well her partner is treating her. I bet she's saying the same to him, how her ex never acted like that, and how happy she is that her partner isn't like her ex. ###### |
For reference, I live in Texas.
For april fools, I thought it would be funny if a couple friends and I dressed up, and pranked our friend who’s a DACA recipient. His parents are undocumented despite coming here a long time ago; they also speak only spanish, and very broken english. The timing for this prank was perfect because ICE is doing raids etc.
I got 2 other guys with me, who he doesn’t know, and we dressed up officially with sunglasses etc. We even printed out a fake warrant.
We went over to their apartment at 7, and started banging on their door. We said “This is ICE here, we got a tip off on an undocumented couple living here. We have a warrant signed off by (XYZ). You have the right to remain silent as anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law” etc. We could hear them visibly panicking, and it took everything in us to keep a straight face.
We took the prank to the next level by saying, “do not attempt to run away, as we have law enforcement surrounding the area”. We bang some more, yell OPEN UP etc. Then my friend comes out, and I say April fools, gotcha. And we throw confetti at him. He was LIVID. He unfriended me on EVERYTHING after I tried reaching him. I texted him at 9, then 10, and it’s now almost 1 now. I didn’t think the prank would backfire this badly, as I come from a prankster family. Every year we’d play pranks on each other. I understand i took it too far, but is it really worth ending a friendship of over 16 years because of this?
So, AITA for this prank that backfired badly? ###### | YTA. How can anybody think that shit is funny?
Would probably unfriend you aswell, even after 16 years of friendship. Crossed a line on that one ###### |
I'm a second-year radiology resident in a city in the Pacific Northwest. I'm a decent-looking guy, but a bit short and very socially awkward. So until recently, despite my best efforts, I've never been with anyone in any way at all. I was beginning to think I'd die a virgin without ever having been kissed...until I moved out here to Seattle. There, I found a lot of decently-put-together fairly attractive women that were living on the streets. I decided that was my best chance at sleeping with someone, and so decided to take advantage of the fact that I had a stable living situation to kick-start my romantic life.
I understand that these women are often vulnerable and in a shitty place in life; however, I always try to leave them in a better place than I found them. I buy them food and the supplies they need, leave them with a couple hundred dollars, and buy 'em six months' worth of a UPS mailbox so they can find jobs using the mailbox as a street address. I have a girlfriend, now, who's grateful for a place to live and is now in training to be a certified nurse's assistant. ###### | YTA. Holy shit dude. Being nice to vulnerable, at risk woman because 'it's your best chance to finally sleep with someone' is fucking DISGUSTING.
Maybe you worded it wrong, I want to give you the benefit of doubt. But jesus man. Being nice to a homeless woman just so they SLEEP WITH YOU and then trying to make yourself feel better by saying 'I leave them better than how I found them' is gross. ###### |
Throw away for obvious reasons. On Saturday night I (32 F) and my boyfriend (33 M) went to have dinner at his parent’s house. This was a big next step. I hadn’t met anyone in his family yet. We’ve been dating for about 6 months now.
So last week I got sick and have been taking penicillin to get over an infection and been having a lot of symptoms, one of them being gas. Most of the time it’s fine, but others, if I don’t let it out, I’ll be in excruciating pain. Everything was going great at dinner, his mom cooked a beautiful pot roast, we were all laughing and getting along famously.
All of a sudden I started getting the gas cramps so I had no choice but to try to let them out silently and once I started - I couldn’t stop. I didn’t think they smelled that bad, and some were louder than I’d hoped, but I didn’t want to step away from the table as we were in the middle of a conversation, I thought it would be rude.
I got unlucky and let one go during a lull in the conversation, it was noticeably loud, but I didn’t think you could tell it was from me. My boyfriend leaned over and asked “Are you OK? Do you need to use the restroom?” I couldn’t believe he would embarrass me in front of his family like that. The rest of the dinner I was quiet from rage.
The whole stress of the situation made my gas cramps worse. The rest of the dinner was awkward, I could tell the parents knew I was the one passing gas because of my boyfriend’s questions. He dropped me off at my place after when I was supposed to stay the night at his, and he had the audacity to drive with the windows down.
I can’t help that I have a medical condition that is causing me to pass gas. As he’s in the medical profession I thought he’d be more understanding. We haven’t talked much since Saturday and I’m just wondering AITA? ###### | YTA. His response was actually kind as he seemed concerned for your wellbeing and while a bit blunt that may be indicative of his medical training and being used to talking about these things in a straightforward way. Farting continuously at the table is rude and weird. If you had excused yourself to the restroom due to the issue and then he got mad you were absent or whatever that would give you the right to be mad but not this. ###### |
It made me feel like he doesn’t trust me. We live together and spend most days together and he knows all there is to know about me. I understand that people come from things they don’t like talking about; I was abused for several years of my life (which we’ve discussed in detail). But, it seems like he doesn’t care to share and connect on the same level as I have done.
*****
It’s a quarter shaped scar on the top of his wrist and he’s a rather hairy man so I just saw it today whilst holding his hand in mine and kissing it. It looked like a rough scar and I had just asked out of curiosity what happened. His response was “I don’t want to talk about it.”
I prodded a bit asking if it was something sexual since he has been rather promiscuous in his past, to which he replied “No.” and again stating he didn’t want to talk about it. I haven’t continued asking but told him how I felt on the matter. His response was that of silence initially and then later he came to tell me he loved me.
I feel like I may be in the wrong here for feeling as if he doesn’t trust me with the details of his past. But keep in mind that this is a man that talks about marrying me and our future children and seems wholly committed to all that we are. Am I wrong to believe that if you are into a relationship for the long run that your past doesn’t have to stay hidden? I’m afraid he somehow has negative beliefs about what my my reaction will be to what happened though I try to make him feel safe and comfortable in who he is. Am I failing somehow?
He’s a very loving man that cares for me greatly. I just feel shut out of his life and untrusted at this point. ###### | YTA. Him telling you he doesn’t want to talk about it now doesn’t mean he’s never going to talk to you about it. Give him some time. ###### |
\*posting for my mom. I am not the daughter in question, I am the brother trying to stay out of the middle of this, and suggested Reddit as a neutral arbiter. throwaway so I can share the results with both of them\*
I'm not sure either of us is an asshole here, but I am looking for different perspectives on how my comment came across.
My daughter has always been in the size 12 range. Not thin but also not obese. She's done a couple of diets here and there when her weight has crept up but I would not say she's constantly struggling with her weight or trying to lose more. She has the same general insecurities that many women do but overall is quite confident.
I haven't seen her for the last 5 weeks or so, but we were able to meet up yesterday. She's now 33 weeks and her baby bump has grown quite a bit since I saw her last. She hasn't gained noticeable weight in her face or anywhere else in her body.
When I saw her, I said, "You look great! All the weight you've gained has gone right to your stomach!"
I meant it as a compliment, I later learned she was hurt and offended by my comment.
The remaining piece of context is that because of her starting weight, her doctor had given her a goal of only gaining 15-25 pounds during pregnancy. We've talked about that several times prior to this point, and she is within that range.
So Reddit, was this a really inappropriate and rude thing to say to my daughter, even though I thought I was complimenting her? Am I an unintentional asshole? ###### | YTA. Here's what you say to a pregnant lady: " You look fabulous!" "Look at you, you're glowing." "Oh my God you look amazing!" How hard is it to be nice to your pregnant daughter? And why the fuck would you ever think it was appropriate to comment on her weight? ###### |
So me, my friend nd her boyfriend went out to eat today. My friend's boyfriend is what you'd call Obese, definitely. But he's nice and funny too, so we don't mind hanging out with him. It never really gets in the way. The only real problem is sitting somewhere with booths, the tables in booth's don't move so it's uncomfortable for him.
The place we chose is about 90% booths, the other seats are at the bar type area and a small table beside it, since it's a small diner. He demanded we eat somewhere else because he's "Too fat to fit in the booth". Last time he got stuck.
I told him no, it's her birthday. So we went there, the table was open but my friend wanted to sit in a booth, since she likes to people-watch out the window. So, he jammed his way into a booth and not 5 minutes later, he's complaining about the pain and how he can't breath in the seat.
I told him if he lost weight, this wouldn't be an issue. He told me to just be quiet and got all pissy. After we ate, my friend had to use the restroom but he couldn't get out, he tried pulling on the seat and the table but just couldn't get out, everyone was staring at him and he started crying of embarrassment. He couldn't get out, someone who worked there had to give him a tug to pull him out.
He was humiliated and said it was all my fault for going there. Am i at fault here? ###### | YTa. He’s obese but funny so you don’t mind hanging out with him? Wow. How lucky he is to have friends like you. ###### |
I'm in my third year of college as an international student, and as my contract for student dorms is about to run out and I can't go home, one of my college friends offered for me to move in with him and his family for a while. I was excited about it at first, because I've known this guy since first year and we're really good friends so it should be fun, but today he sent me a message saying he needed to tell me something before I met his family.
Turns out he's a transgender, and his family still use his birth name and call him a she, so he knew he had to tell me before I met them. I was expecting something like "my mom collects creepy dolls". I don't even know how to articulate how I feel about it. I thought this guy was one of my best friends, and I've told him so much about my life and my past that I don't normally talk about, but it turns out I didn't actually know who he was at all. I messaged him back saying that what he'd just told me was huge, and that I didn't think I wanted to live with someone who'd hidden something like that from me.
I just feel like I don't even know him anymore. He's talked to me about his childhood before, and must have been lying through his teeth about it, since he wasn't even a boy in the first place. If he's been lying about this huge thing, what else has he been lying about? I don't feel like I can trust him anymore, and I don't know if I want a friend like that. My sister thinks I'm overreacting about it and just told me to get over myself, but I really thought he was one of my closest friends and in three years he never thought to tell me this. I don't want to live with someone who would lie to me for so long, but she thinks I'm being a dick. AITA? ###### | YTA. He's not LYING about being a boy. He came out to you and offered his home to you. Obviously he ain't a friend to you if you think him not telling you he's trans is him lying about everything.
He never stopped being a boy because he didn't realize til later. ###### |
Me and my SO have been together for a year and some change. Have talked about long term goals many times like Getting our own place. But we haven't actively looked at apartments together.
For the past 2 months and half I have been staying at his place for the most part. But technically, I still live at home with parents. So today I decided to go to store, asked if I could use his car, he said fine. When I get the store, I was just getting the stuff the essentials. Making a key was a second thought. But then I saw the key machine when walking so I decided to make one then surprise him when I get home.
So when I get home from your store, I surprise him. Least to say he was not happy with it. Told me everything from "I was being sneaky for not telling him", "I want his apartment for free use", "I want to snoop when he's not around", "Not respecting his privacy", & Etc.
It's not like I haven't stayed at his place when he hasn't been home. I told him the key would be for when I need place when his isn't home or when both of us run errands we will both have convenience of having a key. Instead of us sharing one key then picking whoever has the key to do their errands fast for it doesn't cause trouble for other person. He still won't come to his senses, if I was in the wrong tell me. Need another perspective. ###### | YTA. He trusted you with his keys, and you showed him that you would take advantage of that trust to force yourself into having access to his house without his permission.
You can ask for a key. He can decide to offer you a key. You can not decide on your own to take someone's key and make a copy. That is a major violation of a person's sense of personal space, boundaries, and safety.
If I were your boyfriend I would be reconsidering how I felt about the relationship.
He's 100% right about you being sneaky, and not respecting his privacy. And he's 100% reasonable to be feeling like you might be using him and want to snoop. ###### |
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