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I have been dealing with the fallout of this since Sunday.
Some backstory:
My mom is a huge animal fan and loves Deer. She has deer mugs, a deer phone case, socks etc. You name it she probably has a deer related item of it.
For Mother's day I got her one of those mounted trophy deer heads to put above the fireplace since she loves deer so much and had been talking about getting something to put above the fireplace since the wall up there is pretty bare.
Upon opening her present, she got really upset and stormed into her room, locked it and now refuses to talk to me. I think I heard her crying in there.
My dad told me she is really upset about it and didn't want to see a dead deer let alone one in her house. He wants me to apologize but I don't really think I did anything wrong. How was I supposed to know she would react like that?
AITA? ###### | YTA. Why would you give a deer lover a dead one? She likes them alive.
I love tigers and sloths. If someone gave me a dead one, I’d be distraught too ###### |
I have been dating this girl for almost a year. It's serious, but it will be awhile before we even discuss marriage. She has her own place, but spends the weekends at my house. She lost her job last month is hurting for money. I have a solid job. I was in need of an office worker and she asked me to hire her.
It will benefit her to get that job, but at a cost to me.
1. I know she is actively looking for another job and will jump ship the minute she finds something better.
2. It's a waste of everyone's time (HR, IT, training) to hire her knowing she will leave.
3. I don't want to see her 24/7 and know she will expect favoritism and attention.
I am seriously thinking about dumping her because whether I say yes or no to hiring her, it will backfire on me. Either she will hate me or my team will resent me, Asking me to hire her is too much. ###### | YTA. Why don't you just say no?? I am not understanding your predicament here. ###### |
My gf has very bad periods. There is very little she can do. She has gone through multiple methods of birth control and they have all had extremely negative consequences on her mental health, inducing psychosis twice. One form put her in the mental hospital. She chose to deal with her periods.
The problem I have is her underwear is always stained with blood. It's gross. Although they are washed thoroughly, she often can't get stains out.
I asked her to buy new underwear. She explained to me that she does, and unless she is extremely careful, she will get blood on her new panties. She tried to compromise and say that she will make sure I do not see them whenever we have sex or she is around me.
I put my foot down and asked her to not wear them around me.
She got upset and argued that they are never dirty.
Was I TA? ###### | YTA. Why do you care so much if her underwear are stained? They're still perfectly clean. What you're demanding is that she spend money just to ruin new ones, and that's just ridiculous. ###### |
I (22M) have been with my girlfriend (22F) for about two and a half years now.
Recently, we were talking about things relating to how we met. I mentioned that before we got together, I had a rather poor impression of her. I’d seen her on snapchat for a while and she seemed like a stereotypical sorority girl, not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just not my type. She’d party half her nights at school instead of just weekends, she was in a very ‘sorority-like sorority’ if that makes sense. (Chi O) She seemed pretty vain.
Anyway, we got closer and I began to see that was not the case. Then we got together, and I began to see her for the amazing, sweet, and kind girl she really is.
So now I just told her that I didn’t necessarily have the best impression of her in the time before we got together. I thought she’d find it amusing, but no she seemed pretty hurt by it. She looked like she was going to cry and asked me why I thought that.
So I tried explaining further, but now she really sad and isn’t talking much. She said I was being mean.
Am I really the asshole? I specifically explained to her that was how I thought of her in the *past* and not now. ###### | YTA. Why did you have her on snap if you didn’t like her much at that point? That’s what I’d be asking if I was her. I’d hate to think my boyfriend only had me on snap to feel superior, which is what it sounds like when you write it.
Please just apologize and think about what you say before you say it from now on. ###### |
I just met my neighbor yesterday officially and we’re talking and we brought up handwriting. I said schools need to stop teaching cursive because it’s beyond outdated and useless. She got offended because she is a graphologist(someone who studies hand writing) she also wrote her dissertation on it. I told her we’re in a digital age and, need to teach typing. She just brought up emotional points like how beautiful it is to write in cursive. “It’s an essential form of communication”. I asked her how is cursive going to help someone get a job. Most of the words we read today is on a screen. After a while I got frustrated. I said,”just because you studied a useless topic doesn’t mean we should keep living in the past”. Her only argument is that I didn’t graduate. I told her my job is actually important(programmer). “There is a reason why I get paid good and my job is in demand”. She stormed off afterwards. AITA ###### | YTA. Why did you even feel the need to be so much of an asshole to someone you just met and who is going to be your neighbour?
> my job is actually important(programmer)
>
> I said schools need to stop teaching cursive because it’s beyond outdated and useless.
Imagine if someone pointed out that we may get to a point where you can be replaced because of machine learning. Ignorant, hurtful statement about your chosen career. That's basically what you did to your neighbour. ###### |
My (34m) girlfriend (25f) has a traumatic brain injury (TBI) that she got when she was 20 from a horse accident. Her skull was fractured in two places, she spent time in the hospital and physical therapy, and months away from work. It was a long road but she is a completely different person now. You can't even tell anything is wrong with her except for a scar above her eyebrow.
​
That being said, the accident left her with a TBI non the less. She has been left with a multitude of issues to work through that her neurologist said may get better with time or not. One of her many issues is memory loss. She had a lot of tough times because of this (friends, family, and when she went back to work). Something she found that worked for her was carrying a small journal with her at all times. It started when she went back to work (vet field) and had to figure out how to remember things the Dr.'s were telling her. She works ER so it's quite hectic and stressful at times and she almost quit before deciding to write everything down.
​
And when I say everything, I mean it. Now that she has that journal she carries it everywhere. Even outside of work. We're joining friends at a bar? Journal. Dinner with my parents? Journal. One of our friends states something? Down in the journal. And she holds onto them . So she has tons of little books with friends and families info, work stuff. I finally asked her to leave the journals to work as it's embarassing to be seen with her constantly writing things down people say to us.
​
She called me an asshole and said she couldn't believe I would ask her to do that. AITA? It's just w/ friends. Not work. ###### | YTA. who are you to say how much her memory suffers? this journaling hurts no one and your "embarrassment" is completely apathetic to what happened to her. let her cope how she chooses, this is completely benign. ###### |
My girlfriend and I are having a baby. She is six months pregnant. She keeps asking me when I'm going to quit and she gets mad when I say I will soon. I was planning on waiting until I took paternity leave to quit but she wants me to quit now. She keeps saying the smoke smell is bad for her and the baby, but my parents smoked all the time and I'm fine. ###### | YTA. While your parents did smoke all the time and you came out fine, repeated studies have shown that 2nd-hand smoke inhalation is dangerous for mother and child even while the baby is in the womb. It also takes time to quit and some people require multiple times. If you really want to quit, there is no time like the present. Putting it off just shows that you will keep finding excuses to not quit. ###### |
I (27M) got engaged recently to my girlfriend of five years (27F) and she was discussing wedding dress plans with me—we don’t have a date yet but she is a big planner. Coincidentally, my older sister (30F) also got engaged within a week of me, this is relevant for the rest of the story.
I was talking with my fiancé and she expressed to me how she’s kind of upset that she’s not close to any of her immediate family (they treated her quite badly) so she will not have any family heirlooms to wear on her wedding day. that’s when I got the idea—my grandmother’s wedding dress has never been worn since her wedding day, and she has always expressed wanting one of her grandkids to wear it (I remember she emphasized that this would be for one time because it would have to be altered and it’s a very delicate dress apparently)
I have no female cousins, and my own sister has always said to me she thought the dress was not modern enough/thought it was, in her own words, “extremely drab”, so I showed a picture to my fiancé and suggested it. My fiancé seemed thrilled at the idea of wearing it because she loves my grandma.
I asked my grandma for her permission—she then says that my sister also asked to wear the dress a day after I did??? Apparently my sister had a change of heart because she doesn’t want to go out shopping for dresses anymore, and decided she can just wear grandma’s dress.
Now Grandma and the rest of my family is in favor of my sister wearing the dress because she’s actually a grandkid, which I said was unfair and cruel. I just don’t see why my sister should wear something she previously was so rude about instead of my appreciate fiancé. AITA? ###### | YTA. While your fiancée is probably a lovely woman, she isn’t your grandmother’s grandchild. The dress goes to whomever your grandmother chooses. Perhaps there is another family heirloom your fiancée can use or wear on the big day as her something borrowed. ###### |
So my mother is quite unhealthy and she has been told by many doctors that she needs to lose weight but she always insists that she is the perfect weight. this happened last thursday when i was eating dinner with my mother. She asked me to make some hamburgers because those are her favorite. But because i am a vegan i do not feel comfortable cooking meat so i decided to instead make veggieburgers. So i made them and we then started eating, my mother noted that the burgers tasted weird but didn't say anything else about them. We then finish eating and she is getting ready to leave so i inform her that i made her veggieburgers instead of hamburgers. She then got very mad saying that i didn't know if she could have a reaction to the food and also that i shouldn't force my eating habits on her. I said that i don't see a problem because she didn't have any kind of bad reaction to the food also it is better for her and she needs to lose weight anyways.
So Reddit AITA ###### | YTA. While you're right that a vegan lifestyle can tend to be more healthy and may even be the difference that your mother needs for a better life, it is not your place to make that decision for other people, regardless of their relation to you or your level of caring for them.
If their making a change means that much to you, it's on you to convince them to do so but it's also on you to respect their right to make their own choices if they tell you to fuck off. Forcing people to accept or trucking people into trying what you (or anyone else, for that matter) believes to be right is a straight up asshole move.
Their life, their choice. Period. ###### |
Getting set up on a date that didn’t work. Was I an Asshole.
So many years ago when I was single and dating. I got set up by friends with a girl for a date
Friends of her,friends of me. They thought we’d click. But I didn’t get that connection.
We didn’t really click. But everyone said just go out for a date or two. So we did.
We had coffee. We had beers. We went for Walks. Etc.
All she did was talk about another guy. Constantly. Like a lot. An awful lot.
We went to a movie premiere. I got us great seats. She started to talk about him again.
Just as the movie just as it started, I asked her if she wanted popcorn.
She said yes...extra butter and a large pop.
I walked to the lobby, exited the cinema and got on a fucking bus home.
The end. ###### | YTA. While it's clear that this wasn't working and was awkward, you should have at least been honest about it. Even a basic "I'm sorry, I've gotta go, this isn't working" is better than realizing your date lied and isn't coming back. You don't owe her anything than that, and maybe a ride home and your part of the bill. But straight up lying? Dick move. ###### |
So I (24M) have two female friends, C (25F) and E (24F), whom I haven't seen since the plague. The three of us started to organize a small get together for the 3 of us. I suggested going to the local pool, should the weather allow it. E told me bluntly and explicitly that she's having her period at that time, but whatever, she'll sunbathe or something.
To this I replied, "wow, girl, TMI", with a few rolling eye emojis and a funny gif to signal obvious exaggeration on my part ( I don't have any problem with periods, I know it's natural, and I think I have a perfectly acceptable and understanding attitude towards it).
The girls FLIPPED. THEIR. SHIT. They started to bombard me with how much of a jerk and letdown I am, how I betrayed their trust (paraphrasing here) and the whole 9 yards. I told them that I think it is a private thing, something that doesn't have anything to do with me. For clarification, I always adjust our programs and everything when my girlfriend is on her period, and I obviously care about HER period and try to help her out whenever she needs it.
My colleague (34M) told me that I should apologize, since E told me because she trusts me, and probably wanted to avoid the awkward explanation on the side of the pool why she can't join us. However, my GF (23F) says that both E and C are drama queens and agrees with me 100%, just like my other, closest female friends (who is coincidentally also E).
In the end, E practically forced me to say sorry (despite I told her that I won't apologize, because I don't think I said anything horrible, or harsh, and I still think they blew it out of proportion), otherwise she would cancel the weekend on her part.
So, AITA for not caring about other girl's periods? ###### | YTA. Where was the 'tmi'? She was simply saying she can't swim due to a normal biological event. What was she supposed to do - pretend she has a headache?! ###### |
So due to this whole pandemic, I’ve urged my girlfriend to only order essential things from amazon. It’s a big risk to be ordering unnecessary stuff that could put us at risk. Anyway so as I was checking our orders I saw my gf ordered some kind of gloves. I clicked on it and they were these compression gloves meant for people with arthritis. 1: I urged her not to order unnecessary stuff and 2: she’s 22, she definitely does not need gloves that are meant for someone with arthritis.
I immediately questioned her about it. She told me she does indeed need it to help her since she’s a freelance artist and even with stretching her hands get sore and she has trouble sleeping over it. I still don’t think she needs it. Aside from the whole pandemic, she is *young* there is no reason she should be buying this instead of an older person who might need it much more than she does. She’s putting us at risk for no reason other than the fact that she can’t deal with a little pain. I cancelled the order before it could ship and she got pissed at me. This of course led to a huge argument. My job has me working my entire body, yet my gf not only wants to complain about a little wrist pain but she also apparently *needs* to put us both at risk because of this. AITA for telling her she does not need these gloves? ###### | YTA. When someone you care about tells you they are in pain, believe them. ###### |
My wife got laid off from her job due to the pandemic. Since I work in an office, I get to work from home. My wife hasn't really been looking for new jobs, she will occasionally apply for a job on linkedin, but she isn't putting in a lot of effort in her job search.
However, almost every day she took the car out to see her friends/her parents/etc in spite of the whole quarantine. This has made me frustrated with her because she seems pretty nonchalant about not having a job. This is especially bad because if I need to use the car to go to the store or just to a park to relax, I have to wait for her to come back with messes up my schedule.
I should note that the car was mine before we got married. I decided to hide the keys to it and we had an argument. I told her she is forbidden from using the car until she starts getting serious about looking for a job. She yelled and told me I was being unfair. So needless to say, she's been pretty passive aggressive around me lately but I think my request is completely reasonable, she doesn't work so she shouldn't have the right to the car until she starts contributing. ###### | YTA. What's with the financially controlling partners today? She doesn't suddenly lose her right to the car because she's not working. Your need to go park it and sit there doesn't override what she wants to use it for. If you're concerned about her job search (though you admit she *is* applying for jobs), talk to her about it instead of punishing her like she's a child and you're a shitty parent. ###### |
Disclaimer: This happened last February. My colleagues have been giving me shit for it ever since.
I am a High School English teacher. Last February, I was teaching mythology. During the test on the subject matter, I caught a student peeking off another student's paper. I took the test from him and he got an automatic "0."
After I taught mythology, we moved on to *The Catcher in the Rye*. I decided to give the class an extra incentive, and for voluntary extra credit, have them write an essay on why *The 39 Steps* was Phoebe's favorite movie.
I saw said cheating student writing the assignment in his planner, to which I tell him "you are ineligible for this assignment."
He confronted me after class for telling him that he was ineligible for the assignment for two reasons:
1. He felt that because he got a "0" on an exam, he "needs the extra credit more than the other students."
2. He did not take kindly to me "humiliating" him in front of the whole class.
I was speaking to other teachers and my department head on the matter, and they thought I was in the wrong. I'm sorry, but if I allow him to take extra credit after he cheated on my exam, that would be giving the whole class the idea that it's ok to cheat on my exams, when it's not. My colleagues thought the "0" was "punishment enough" for cheating and that I didn't have to bar him from extra credit.
Sorry, but I disagree. I'm just trying to prepare him for the real world, especially university, where if he cheats in university, he could be expelled. In the real world, crimes and punishments are very rarely 1:1. ###### | YTA. What you’re really teaching him is that once you make a mistake it’s pointless to try doing better because you will always be defined by them. ###### |
I posted a thread last night about an unrelated issue on AITA and mistakenly dropped this information in the comments. Even though the issue I asked about is completely separate, I'm getting crucified over the fact that I once made a Tinder last year while dating my girlfriend.
Here's the thing, though: I only made it for a confidence boost. I never had any intention of cheating or even messaging these girls. I only got 2 matches anyway and they weren't even that attractive, at least not attractive enough that my girlfriend should have felt threatened by them. My girlfriend was upset about it when she found out. We sat down and I told her how I was feeling unappreciated especially since she never wakes me up with "surprises" anymore. We moved past it and our relationship has been good since then. But the Reddit hivemind is insisting I'm an asshole because I had a Tinder for one week a year ago that didn't lead to any infidelity whatsoever. AITA? ###### | YTA. What the fuck is wrong with you? ###### |
To preface, I’m the father of a beautiful 3 year old girl whose mother and I are no longer together. Although my daughter is my world, I hope to be remarried in the future and have more children because I always saw myself having a lot of kids. The other day, I made a comment while on the phone to my friend which I honestly thought was fairly innocuous.
Growing up, my father and I always played sports together, loved roughhousing with one another, etc. I know that girls can and do enjoy this too, but I have taken psychology classes before and I know that stuff like this is more naturally inclined toward boys. I think it is polite fiction to think that there are absolutely no differences between male and female children.
While I was talking to my friend, I mentioned that if I ever was able to find someone to have another child with, I would of course love them despite their gender, but I would love to have a boy because I would have someone to throw my ball around with.
My friend called me an idiot, and told me that having a gender preference was potentially harmful, and I should rethink my priorities before trying to have another child. Personally I don’t why what I said was so wrong, AITA? ###### | YTA. What psychology classes did you take where they told you you can't throw a ball around with a girl? ###### |
So this past week it was that time of the month again. Sometimes mine are really bad and last more than a week. It was that way this time. Well my husband had been in the bathroom for a really long time. I knocked and he said he’d be out soon. I tried to open the door and to my surprise it was unlocked. I walked in at was a little disgusted at what I saw. He was touching himself. He quickly stopped when I opened up the door. I was shocked and asked him what he was doing. He looked really embarrassed and said “I think you know already.” I told him this was unacceptable and just gross for him to do this, especially behind my back. He assured me that he wasn’t watching porn, and was instead looking at pictures of me while doing it. Nonetheless I still said that I didn’t like him doing this and requested that he stop immediately. He agreed, but has yet to be normal around me since then. He seems to be very embarrassed. In my point of view, I believe what I said and did was completely warranted. But with his reaction, I wanted to see what other people’s opinions were on this. Did I handle this the wrong way? Was I being an asshole? ###### | YTA. What is your problem, exactly? Do you just not like masturbation in general or is it the fact that he was getting off without you? Either way, your viewpoint is controlling and immature. ###### |
So my sister made this peanut butter bread today. She said she saw a really easy recipe and decided to make it, this is when it was already done and out of the oven. She said she was letting it cool for 15 minutes before eating it.
30 minutes later there's no one around the kitchen and the bread is still there, I take a small slice and she comes out when I'm halfway done with it and gets pissed because she wanted to cut it first. She further explained that she *knew* I would do that and she couldn't believe me.
I asked why she didn't tell anyone she wanted to eat it first if she knew it would happen. She said she shouldn't have too.
I really don't see it as that big of a deal especially since I ate the butt end for everyone. And if it's such a big deal why didn't she explain her wishes if she knew what would happen? ###### | YTA. What is so hard to understand that if it isn't yours don't touch it? Sounds like she knew you were rude and selfish and you proved her right. ###### |
So my gf and I have been together 4 months. We're both 27 and were happy. She has been texting her old guy friend recently and it's really starting to bother me. We dont get along with each other and she knows this. Apparently his cousin died but I doubt that and I think it's an excuse to talk to him . While she was asleep I changed her iPhone pin number so she can't get in and when she woke up I denied everything. (Throwaway for obvious reasons) I told her she must have been hacked by her IP. She is devasted because her granddad has cancer and she needs to be on a group chat for his appointment schedule (see who drives him to hospital whatever). I told her she needs to calm down and she can see him another day. She doesn't get paid for 9 days so she can't get her phone fixed by Apple til then
My friends say this is bad and i shouldnt have done this but i think shs shouldnt be texting that dude.But AITA? ###### | YTA. What did did was illegal. Unlock her phone now and tell her the truth. No presents for you this Christmas! Ho Ho Ho! ###### |
Throwaway etc.
We don’t live together but I spend nearly 5 nights a week at his place which is a lot bigger and nicer than mine. I live with roommates so it’s not as convenient for him to come over.
So recently every time he realizes I’m on my period he’ll change ALL of his bed sheets to a much cheaper set of sheets. I asked him why and he said it’s to prevent getting blood on his nice white high count sheets. I was really offended. In the year we’ve been dating I’ve maybe bled on his sheets 4-5 times? That’s four nights out of over 200 nights together.
I told him he’s being insanely rude and that normal women bleed on sheets, it’s inevitable when you’re on your period. He said he doesn’t care and unless I’m ok sleeping on towels he’ll continue to change his sheets. I think he’s being an absolute child and am considering this to be a dealbreaker (it’s pissing me off that badly).
AITA to get pissed off at this? I told him blood isn’t toxic and throwing sheets into the laundry is effective every time. ###### | YTA. What a wild thing to be offended about. "How dare my boyfriend not want my blood staining his nice sheets GRRRR I'M ENTITLED TO RUIN WHATEVER I WANT WITH MY PERIOD BLOOD!" That's what you sound like. ###### |
Hello all. Throwaway b/c I’d rather not have this associated with my main. I have family that lurks on here.
I (30F) am pregnant with my first child, and it’s a girl!!!!💗💗🎀🎀🎀 I’m so excited to meet her. She’s definitely a bright spot in our lives right now. I also have a large, traditional, very Irish-Catholic family. There’s a lot of reusing names—i.e. one cousin is “Rose Elizabeth” while another is “Elizabeth Rose.” So far, it’s worked without too many snafus and a lot of compromise.
Here’s where there might be an issue. My uncle and I have a mutual interest in family genealogy, and we’ve been trying to create a family tree via old letters/documents. As I was going through it, I found what I consider to be the perfect name—for these purposes, I’ll say that it’s “Mabel Josephine”, nn Mae. My husband loves it too, and it’s the first name that we’ve agreed on since we found out she was a girl.
My sister (34F), however, is named Mae Janice. She has a daughter named Mei with her ex-husband as well. When I told her what our plans were, she kind of made a face and said that I needed to choose another nickname. Her reasoning is that there are way too many Mae/Meis in our family already, and that it’s gotten confusing and frustrating. She asked if we would mind using the full name but calling her something else—i.e. ‘Bella.’ I got really mad, and I admit that I said some regrettable things about her family and husband. We aren’t speaking now.
AITA? I want to use this historically significant name for my daughter, every single part of it. My family is mostly on my side, but the other day our brother suggested that I had been a bit too harsh in how I’ve gone about this, and that it would save everyone a lot of drama and confusion if I just chose another goddamn nickname. But at this point, it’s the principle of the thing. ###### | YTA. What 'principle'? You picked a nickname without giving any thought to your sister and niece, then turned to insults when asked a perfectly reasonable question. ###### |
\*posting for my mom. I am not the daughter in question, I am the brother trying to stay out of the middle of this, and suggested Reddit as a neutral arbiter. throwaway so I can share the results with both of them\*
I'm not sure either of us is an asshole here, but I am looking for different perspectives on how my comment came across.
My daughter has always been in the size 12 range. Not thin but also not obese. She's done a couple of diets here and there when her weight has crept up but I would not say she's constantly struggling with her weight or trying to lose more. She has the same general insecurities that many women do but overall is quite confident.
I haven't seen her for the last 5 weeks or so, but we were able to meet up yesterday. She's now 33 weeks and her baby bump has grown quite a bit since I saw her last. She hasn't gained noticeable weight in her face or anywhere else in her body.
When I saw her, I said, "You look great! All the weight you've gained has gone right to your stomach!"
I meant it as a compliment, I later learned she was hurt and offended by my comment.
The remaining piece of context is that because of her starting weight, her doctor had given her a goal of only gaining 15-25 pounds during pregnancy. We've talked about that several times prior to this point, and she is within that range.
So Reddit, was this a really inappropriate and rude thing to say to my daughter, even though I thought I was complimenting her? Am I an unintentional asshole? ###### | YTA. Weird phrasing. You should have said, literally anything but that. ###### |
Yea exactly as the title suggests.
My girlfriend is 8 months pregnant and I talked to her last week how I want to get a 23andme test immediately after he is born because I’m genuinely interested in his ancestors and origins- and making sure he is mine is an extra benefit- she lashes out and tells me I don’t have confidence in her and all that bs and starts crying.
This made me suspicious af, and because of this reaction I’m determined more than ever to get that test.
WITA to do that?
And more importantly say the results are the worst possible scenario, I’m definitely not an asshole for walking away, am I? ###### | YTA. Way to bury the lede bud. This has less to do with your girlfriends ancestry and more about it being a paternity test.
She’s not wrong, if you’re asking for a test it *does* mean you’re not confident in her.
You wanna make sure the kid is yours. At least have the balls to outright admit it, open a mature conversation as to why you have doubts and ask for a proper test. ###### |
We were driving back from the grocery store which is about 25 -30 minutes away from our house we live far from town. On the way back my wife really had to pee, and was wanting to go on the side of the road. Cars kept passing and she would of been seen of ticketed.
I told to just wait 10 more minutes and we’ll be home I’ll get there as quick as I can. She was said she wasn’t sure if she could make it. When we got home I thought she’d rush inside , she ended up just getting out of the car and squatting in the driveway. I ended up apologizing after I saw how much she peed the poor girl peed for like a minute or 2 straight and I guess she started to wet herself when she stood up which is why she went in the driveway.
She’s still mad at me saying her bladder aches, and I apologized for making her wait but said I was concerned about it being illegal. She thinks I’m an asshole am I ?
Edit- I would of stopped somewhere but everything is closed because of quarantine ###### | YTA. Unlike men who can whip it out and pee relatively discretely on the side of the road, I can tell you that squatting down to pee in public is a last resort for most women. Your wife wouldn’t have been asking if it weren’t an absolute emergency and honestly I’d be pissed too if my husband thought he knew better than me about my own bodily functions. ###### |
Me and my ex were together for 5 years and we broke up 3 years ago. It was a really abrupt end to the relationship and I didnt see it coming. I didn't get to say good bye to her family etc and I never really received any closure. Pretty much a month after we broke up I was in a bit of a mess and I started dating, my now wife who I am very much in love with. Shes super chilled out and really understands me but I still feel I never really 100% let go of my ex and still think about her frequently.
6 months ago me and my ex had twins, and like I said is very laid back and let me pick the names. I originally wanted to pick my ex girlfriend and her brothers names but I thought it would be too obvious so I picked her father and mothers names instead. They were both great people to me when I was in their lives and I think it was quite therapeutic to still sort of have them in my life.
Everything was fine until about 6 months ago, my wife put some pics up of me and our kids and a mutual friend of me and my ex pm'd me asking why the kids names were the same as my ex's parents. I panicked and blocked him, he then insta messaged me asking why I blocked him and that its super creepy to name his kids after my ex's parents. I told him its a coincidence and my wife chose the names but I am worried now he is going to inbox my wife and ruin everything for me. WIBTA if I told my wife preemptively that its coincidental and made it into a bit of a joke or just say its a coincidence? ###### | YTA. Unless you tld your wife about WHY you wanted to name your children those names, which is obviously not the case. YTA in a major way. Why did you even get married if you weren't over your ex? You are unhealthy or cruel AF. Maybe both. ###### |
My cousin was a teen mom and had a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome. She didn’t know she was pregnant until later on and her parents made her keep it (she was 17). Now, the entire family loves the baby and my cousin is always posting about how god chose her and how the struggle is worth it. At family dinners, everyone is always telling her what an amazing mom she is and she loves the attention. She goes on about all the baby’s issues and how they make her stronger. I got upset when she said its unfair her daughter will have to struggle with this forever but she believes god knows what he is doing and that she will always be there for her daughter. I straight up said that her daughter wouldn’t have to suffer if she had made better choices. She remained silent and I was quick to add that I was very happy that her daughter was here with us but she shouldn’t blame god or other things for her issues. My aunt quickly stepped in and took my cousin to another room where she cried. I went home soon after because everyone was quiet around me. I made sure to text my aunt that I knew what I said was inappropriate and that I was sorry. I am sorry for being so harsh but I honestly feel like I was in the right. The adults never have anything negative to say but my younger cousins and I all agree that it is getting annoying. My younger cousin even texted me that she agreed with me and thought it was funny that someone finally said it. Getting these mixed responses, even from family, is making me question whether I am the ahole or not. ###### | YTA. Unless she continued to drink after finding out she was pregnant (in which case ESH), this was you being unnecessarily cruel. How was she supposed to ‘make better choices’ for something that she didn’t even know existed? ###### |
So my girlfriend has very little self control when it comes to food. I do all the cooking so I make sure to keep it pretty healthy l. But when we eat she will always go for seconds if there are any, and will almost always complain about being too full afterwards.
Since lockdown I’ve been working from home with her. I’ve been pretty shocked at how much she snacks. She’ll often have 3 or four bowls of cereal a day.
I make sure we are stocked with fresh fruit but she will always ignore them and go looking for something carby.
This afternoon she made herself some crackers and cream cheese and some blue cheese. Then 10 mins after finishing went to get herself some bread as well.
I mentioned that she should give it some time to see if she’s actually hungry or choose some fruit instead.
We just got in a massive argument where she said I was shaming her and treating her like a child.
She’s been putting on quite a lot of weight at the moment and I feel if I don’t say anything it will just spiral out of control. ###### | YTA. Unless she asks, don't comment on what she eats or any weight she's gaining and don't offer advice on how she can lose weight unless asked. ###### |
I’m (19M). My twin sister is (19F). We have little brothers who are (15M) and (13M). We’re all living together at the moment. Pretty much out of the blue yesterday, my (13M) brother asked me who my favorite sibling is. He never asked me this before. I didn’t hesitate to say that my twin sister is my favorite person in the world. We used to hang out with each other all the time and shared a room until we went to college. Bunk beds though people. We’re back home and sharing the same room again. She understands me better than anyone in the world and no one makes me feel happier than her. We both have SO’s now, but still I’m usually happier when I hang out with my sister. This is not to say that I don’t love my girlfriend and other family members. I love all of them. I didn’t say the above explanation to my brother because he knows already. I don’t know why he would ask such a dumb question and I’m one to give straightforward honest replies.
He said that’s understandable. He then walked over to where our sister was at and asked her who her favorite sibling was. She said she likes all of them equally as much and she couldn’t possibly choose. Again, I know deep inside she would choose me, but she likes to spare feelings. However, I feel our brother is too old to be asking this. If he were 5 years younger, I would give the answer our sister gave. Our brother told our sister my answer to the question. She seemed flattered. However, she told me privately later that was an insensitive response. I told her that our brother is too old to be asking that shit. She said age doesn’t matter in this and the correct response to that question is never to choose one person in particular. I asked her if she really loves me the same as she loves our other brothers. She said that’s not the point, but yes, that she does love us the same. I was a little hurt by that. I don’t think she really means it. ###### | YTA. Understandably your twin sister is your favorite person. However, do you not love your brother enough to want to spare his feelings about something so trivial? He didn’t ask you who you would save first from a burning building where you HAVE to pick one person. His question was quite vague and could have been answered in a manner so as to spare his feelings. ###### |
My boyfriend (25m) and me (24m) have been together for 11 months now. The topic of kids has only come up recently. He has said he really wants kids about a month or so ago. I was originally fine with the topic but then I started thinking of all the negative effects (financial, having to give up your freedom, etc) and I don’t really think I want them anymore. Plus our roommate’s 12 year old nephew has been staying over and it’s been really eye-opening actually living with a kid. I really want this relationship to work but feel like if we had kids in the future (4-5 years down the road) it would be entirely for his happiness and pleasure and a burden on me. He wants to foster and adopt an 8-10 year old. So I said maybe we can live together, you can just do everything for the kids and pay for them and we can both have our desired lifestyles. I compared it to if I bought a motorcycle that only I wanted and tried to make him pay for part of it and work on it. Am I in the wrong for suggesting that? I’m trying to come up with a solution that makes us both happy. Plus he has said that if we break up he will just adopt a kid and be a single dad, so technically I’d be helping him out by splitting housing costs, etc, even if I didn’t want to deal with the kid’s crap and costs. ###### | YTA. Totally immature and unrealistic - a kid is not equivalent to buying a motorcycle. Either you're making a life with your partner, and that includes deciding on co-parenting together, or not. Sort out your priorities and be honest and clear with your partner. ###### |
I’m a mom to three kids, 2F, 9M, 14M. A few nights ago, I walked into my teen’s room to put something up. As soon as I walked in, he threw something under his covers. When I asked what he had, he lied and told me he didn’t have anything, I got frustrated and lifted the covers up. I found a stuffed lion that he got when he was little, I thought he had donated it a while ago. I got mad at him for lying to me and took it, I donated it a few days later since he’s too old to be having a stuffed animal in bed with him. It’s been a week and he’s avoided me almost the whole time, he hasn’t talked to me unless it’s about chores. AITA? ###### | YTA. Too old to have stuffed animals? Fuck. Don’t tell the teddy bear I’ve had for 26 years... ###### |
I haven’t done this yet, but i’m seriously considering it. It’s such a dick move in my eyes but i’m losing my mind with this cat.
My husband and I moved into the complex at the end of February with our dog. Since probably mid March our elderly neighbor has been letting her cat out of her house at random times of day. In the beginning the cat would go everywhere around the complex, but as it goes on he literally only hangs around our apartment. He sits on our windowsills, hangs out in our bushes, hops the fence into our backyard, etc. He just stares at my dog and doesn’t move. My dog HATES this cat and always gets very irritated when she sees it. Her hair stands up, she growls and barks, etc. It’s super annoying to constantly have to yell at my dog to stop barking and get down off the windows. She’s already broken our window once when she accidentally sent her paw through the glass jumping to see the cat after it was sitting on our windowsill. I feel bad because this woman is really old and has lived here a long time, but this cat is terrorizing our dog. WIBTA? ###### | YTA. This isn't a "your neighbor's cat" problem, this is a "your dog problem". It's an outdoor cat, it can and will go where it wants. The problem here is that you have a poorly trained dog that can't control itself. The neighbor has done absolutely nothing wrong. Whats more, you're also the asshole for saying your going to the property manager instead of talking to your neighbor like a grown adult. ###### |
My girlfriend is currently deciding on her college and alevels to pick for next year, we've already argued over what college she should go to as she wanted to go to a college which was known to be rough and has alot of knife crime. I just don't want her to get hurt even though that's where she wants to go.
Now she's talking about picking a lvl 3 makeup alevel, I think this is a waste as all the careers she can do with it are already oversaturated and she's never even expressed interest in doing makeup before. She's saying I'm controlling when I just don't want her to throw her life away when she could pick alevels which could help her get a well-paid job.
We both know she isn't the smartest of the most academic person but even then it doesn't mean she shouldn't at least try to do well. AMIA for trying to make her pick different subjects so she doesn't throw her life away? ###### | YTA. This is your girlfriend's future to plan. Not yours. If you're anything but supportive, then you're the asshole.
Also
> We both know she isn't the smartest of the most academic person but even then it doesn't mean she shouldn't at least try to do well.
This is rude af and only cements the fact that you're TA. ###### |
I have a completely platonic, non-sexual friendship with a guy who likes to invite me over to his house when he cooks. He recently confided in me that he has HSV1. He just found out. I’m very picky about where I eat but I always trusted that he was a clean cook and it always tastes great. He’s said things like “it’s no big deal” and “he’s glad it’s not the really bad version” and saying that he doesn’t know if he’ll tell future partners. It’s got me really questioning if he’s as good of a person as I thought so I went and got tested because we’ve eaten together so many times. My results were negative. But now that I know he has it, I’m thinking what if he tastes some food and accidentally puts the spoon or fork back in the pot instead of the sink but doesn’t tell me because he doesn’t think it’s a big deal? We eat together once a month and I’m thinking of bailing on future dinners. Am I the asshole? ###### | YTA. This is ridiculous. HSV1 is responsible for 'cold sores' which approximately 70% of the world has. It is only transmitted via skin to skin contact with a person who has an active sore. Therefore, it'd be extremely unlikely if not impossible to contract the virus from eating someone's cooking. If you truely believe this then never eat at a restaurant again!
For persecutive, there are 8 HHV viruses, with some being extremely common among the human population. ###### |
i want to preface this by saying my boyfriend is not very fond of pranks in the slightest. i have pranked him in the past and he’s never taken them well, so i’ve made sure not to make him the target of my pranks anymore because of this. i respect his wishes and don’t wanna ruin the relationship by pulling stupid pranks.
so my boyfriend and i share the same friend group. i decided to prank a guy in our friend group yesterday since it was april fools. i just sent him a message that [boyfriend] and i broke up. he didn’t open my message for a while so i got carried away doing something and missed two calls from him. my boyfriend messaged me asking if i pranked our friend and i said yes and my bf said he was just going with it and pretending that we had in fact broken up. i called the guy back not even 5 min after i missed his calls and told him it was just a prank and we were still together. he was just relieved it was a joke and we moved on, or at least he made it seem that way.
my boyfriend told me that my prank wasn’t nice and that i shouldn’t have done it. i didn’t prolong it, all i did was just shoot one text saying we broke up, i didn’t milk it and make it believable, so to me it was literally just a dumb and harmless prank. my boyfriend thought otherwise and revealed to me that our friend also thought what i did was messed up and it isn’t something i should’ve joked about. if i had put more effort into making it believable and kept it going for more than 10 minutes then i would agree with them that it is insensitive and that i took it too far, but that isn’t the case.
i genuinely don’t know if i was an asshole for pulling this seemingly innocent prank, so reddit: AITA for pranking a friend telling him my boyfriend and i broke up? ###### | YTA. This doesn't even sound funny. ###### |
My fiancé and I were supposed to get married in 2 weeks. However, I’ve been going through a rough time this month, and today has been one of those days. First, my fiancé broke his leg while at work which required surgery, then he was fired and we were both required to work at Walmart to sustain ourselves. Luckily, we have raised over $25,000 from the generous early donations we received from relatives. This helped us enormously. We were able to pay for my fiancé's medical expenses, for new furniture, and for therapy for both of us after being emotionally damaged.
After having a thoughtful conversation with my mother and fiancé, I decided to cancel my wedding and reschedule it once we regain financial stability. I’m now being attacked by my own family and friends for refusing to give back their money since I did not use it as promised. I am so hurt that they consider using the donations for health reasons as in ‘bad faith’. I understand their anger because most of them had to change their plans to attend my wedding but I am still upset at them for not understanding what I’ve been going through. I promised them that I am going to reschedule my wedding and will re open our money funds for any further gifts since we lost most of the money. I am now being bombarded by calls and hate messages from my own family and friends and don’t know what to do. Do you guys think I am the asshole in this situation? ###### | YTA. They gave you money towards your wedding, you did not use that money towards your wedding.
Also, I love how you have been considerate enough to reassure them that you'll be reopening your money fund so they can give more after you took the first lot, now that is ballsy. ###### |
My older daughter was doxxed by a college classmate for being a sex worker.
I have two daughters- one is graduating this year and heading off to college.
Since they were both toddlers, I was determined to not turn them into the smug upper middle class kids I came across in my childhood.
They didn’t get a car in high school, they didn’t go to private school or get thousands of dollars worth of SAT tutoring. I didn’t buy them clothes or shoes beyond what they needed,and encouraged them to work part time jobs.
I also expected them to invest in their education because they’d work harder with skin in the game.
My daughter has student loans taken out. She told me she had last time employment. However, I now know she’s been dating men for money.
My ex MIL ( their father is deceased) is demanding I pay for both my girls’ college.
But today I told my daughter that I would not let her bad decision making- namely, how she put herself in such a compromised position that the risk of exposure was high- make me change my parenting ways.
I feel like if I don’t stand firm on my resolve both my girls are just going to push me around, or become the spoiled affluent kids I’ve always hated.
So I said emphatically that I would not be footing the bill for college. AITA? ###### | YTA. There’s a line between spoiling children and making the lives of the people you chose to bring in the world a little easier than they would be without you. You seem like you have no interest in helping and supporting your children. ###### |
At the last wedding I went to my daughter was 15. I agreed to let her have a glass of champagne and some wine with us at the reception. Seeing as how she had never had significant alcohol before and she's got a bit of a small body, she did get a little tipsy, but nothing like being unable to walk straight or the puking or acting crazy drunk that teenagers and young adults can be or a big deal, and she fully sobered up by the end of the night. There were far drunker and more obnoxious people there.
My family noticed. My sister actually gave me crap for it, possibly because her (much younger) kids saw. I kind of laughed and was like "like you never drank underage" and she said that wasn't the point and she wasn't 15. The problem though with teenagers drinking and why it's illegal (although it's not like a wedding reception is seriously going to get busted by the police over a teenager's parents serving her wine) is they get very irresponsible and dangerous driving after even a little alcohol (totally moot as she wasn't driving at all that day) and can easily get drunk and to a dangerous level or act up. Also most since I was closely monitoring and limiting her and she didn't. This summer there's another wedding and I totally intend to let my now 16-year old daughter drink there if she wants to (maybe a bit more limited but a non-driver getting slightly tipsy at any age is really not a big deal, and probably even healthy to teach about knowing your limits and not getting blackout drunk in a few years at college.)
Am I off base? ###### | YTA. There's no problem with your kid having a glass of wine with your supervision, the problem is that you did this at a wedding. If the venue staff realized that your daughter was drinking they could have shut off the bar and kicked you two out. You put the married couple at risk for fines and overall headaches. I'm planning my wedding and every venue I toured made a huge deal about underage drinking, some told me they would kick everyone out if they saw a minor take a single drink. Please be cognizant of this and give your daughter a glass of wine at home next time. ###### |
Hi, I’m new to reddit, and only saw it on a YouTube video, so I thought I would give I a try.
My son (15) last year asked about getting a gaming computer. My son has the tendency to really want something for around a week, but then drop it after I say he can’t have it.
He asked about building a computer and we talked about it. We agreed on a budget of around $1000. I told him if he could save up, he could get it.
Fast forward a year later, and he did save up $1000. The only reason I had even talked about budget was to humor him for a while.
He came into me and my husbands room and basically did a presentation on what he was going to buy. I asked him what would the cost be and he said $1100. He does have around $1300 in his account.
I shut it down immediately. He’s 15 and needs to save for a car. Me and my husband both think that 1100 is outrageous. He has a Xbox if he wants to play games. And he also has a chromebook for schoolwork.
He tells me that it’s not that simple. But $1100 is crazy.
I told him that he could spend $500 and now he won’t leave his room because “I lied to him, and got his hopes up.”
I just know that $1100 is way to much. He can get a nice computer for $500.
So reddit, am I the asshole? ###### | YTA. There's a huge difference between a "nice" 500$ computer and an 1100$ gaming computer. It's also his money. ###### |
Throwaway because I have a main account.
I've (20F) been dating my boyfriend (24M) for the last 6 months. We met at the gym when I joined a year ago, where I also know his friend (25M) from. My boyfriend and this friend have known each other for around 3 years, and play on a couple of sports teams together. The friend has a girlfriend (22 or 23F), and I think they've been dating for around 4 years. The girlfriend is very clearly not a sporty person, but she does get invited to things just because everyone feels obliged to invite her if her boyfriend is invited.
I feel like I'm going mad because no one else can see that this girl is a horrible person. She treats everyone like she's part of the group when she clearly isn't, and in my opinion everyone just puts up with her overly sweet nature because her boyfriend is their friend and teammate. My boyfriend also has no issue with her, and I know that they've chatted over the past few years directly, which I feel uncomfortable about. I told her boyfriend when I found out, and he brushed it off saying that she's just a friendly person.
We're planning a big party when everything is back to normal to celebrate life, and I don't want this girl anywhere near it. My boyfriend says that it's not fair to keep one person out of the group because I've taken against her, but this isn't even her group! Am I wrong for wanting one day where I don't have to deal with this annoying girl acting like she's everyone's friend? ###### | YTA. There isn’t one thing you’ve said here that points to this girl being a terrible person. Acting like she’s part of the group? Uh, she is. Overly sweet nature? You don’t like her because she’s nice? I mean, they let an asshole hang out with them, why not someone overly sweet natured? ###### |
So my son wanted to grow his hair out for the past few months now and I would tell him no because I don't like how it looks on men. He would try to convince me other wise but I would tell him no, he asked me again in December and I told him "Look if you can get a non-stop streak of 100's on your tests from now to the end of the school year I'll let you do it" and he agreed, I know this sounds bad but I only made that deal because he is a horrible test taker and I didn't think he could actually do it, but somehow he did. He came up to me yesterday and told me that he had finished his last tests of his school year and I asked him what he meant the school year isn't over yet, and he showed me that his teachers had sent a email saying that they were doing only one online test per class and he had just finished them and got a 100. He also showed me the grades on every other test and quiz and he got 100's, I was happy for him and he said "I can finally grow out my hair" and I stopped for a minute, I had forgot I promised him this. I told him as nicely as I could that I only made that deal because I thought he wouldn't actually do it and that I still won't let him do it, he got mad and said "But you said if I got all 100's I could, you lied to me" I told him "I'm sorry but look you got all 100's on your tests".He got mad and said "No I did all that extra studying and spending weekends doing nothing but studying, I missed my friends birthday trip he invited me on" and I told him "You're supposed to study anyways, I owe you nothing you're supposed to get 100's anyways". He called me a lying snake and went up to his room. He called his dad (we are divorced) and he called me to tell me that I'm a liar and whether or not he is supposed to get all 100's you still made a promise and need to go thew with it. Look I understand I made a promise but to be fair he should have been doing this regardless but AITA? ###### | YTA. There is absolutely no possible scenario that you're not the asshole here. You are seriously can't see why you're 100% the asshole? I hope you become a better parent and learn from this. ###### |
My little brother (21, I'm 29) were watching a show with a deaf character. He said, "As a deaf person, I'm glad they didn't make her look like a helpless burden." I asked him when he lost his hearing, and he said he can still hear. I told him he's not deaf then. He said he can only hear quiet muffled sounds in his right ear, and I told him that doesn't make him deaf.
He went on about how he has to set his phone sound balance almost all the way to the right, how he can't play video games because he doesn't know where the enemy is coming from, how people have to speak into his left ear, and how he has to search the entire house when his cat meows for attention.
I told him that having mild hearing loss doesn't make him deaf. He said, "Hearing people don't get to decide what we identify as. End of discussion." I told him that he literally is a hearing person, and he walked away and called me disrespectful and ableist.
AITA? I feel like I'm just stating basic facts that anybody would know. When I was a kid, deaf was considered severe hearing loss; not having one ear you can only somewhat hear out of. ###### | YTA. There are varying degrees just like blind people don't see all black.
Edit: As someone with good hearing in both ears, having only one ear that somewhat works sounds a lot like severe hearing loss to me. ###### |
I live in a house with 3 other girls, it's a tall old Victorian building and an extension was put in on the top floor. This means we have a flat roof that people can lie on, but it involves going on the balcony and climbing up the roof like the balcony.
Me and 2 of the girls have been going up there in turns to get some sunshine and sunbathe. Our other room-mate however is very very obese, I don't know her weight by going off her size it must be around 200lbs or more. She's been wanting to go onto the roof to sunbathe as well but I told her she can't, we don't know how much weight it can support as it's not a proper roof but just a sort of cover over a dormer.
This led to a big argument where I said "You're too obese to go up, we can't risk you breaking the roof". She said "fuck you" and put a foot on the tiling from the balcony which promptly cracked under he foot. She said "fuck you" again and went to her room and now isn't speaking to us.
AITA here? I weigh around 120 lbs ###### | YTA. There are much kinder ways to word this, if you feel it has to be said. However, if you're concerned that a roof couldn't even hold 200lbs then neither you nor the other girls should be on it. You can't have 3/4 housemates going up and down then refuse the 4th with an excuse like that. If it's unsafe for one, it's unsafe for all.
Also, depending on your roommates height, 200lb is not "very very obese". She's probably already self conscious and you're a shitty friend for being so horrible about it. If you were worried about her weight for health reasons, I could forgive your brashness but it comes across like you just think she's fatter than you and shouldn't enjoy the things you do. ###### |
My brother just finished freshman year of college last month. He's going to community college first to save money and then transfer to a 4 year school. He hadn't decided on a major when he started, but he's picked one now.
I told him a few months ago that I have $5K I'm willing to give him for when he transfers to a 4 year school but my only condition is that his major has to be one that leads to a profitable job. I'm not talking "you have to be a doctor/lawyer" but more like "you need to be able to stand on your own two feet and not ask mom and dad for money".
He was going back and forth between Managerial Economics, Finance, or History. He decided on history.
I've sent him about a million articles showing how a lot of history majors are unemployed after graduating, about how hard it is to get a job, pressures of paying back student loans, etc. I've also talked to him about how much better life is when you have disposable income but he's just not hearing it.
I asked him what his career plan is from a history major, he says "I'll go to grad school for history too and then I'll figure something out"
History is not a major I'm willing to pay for. $5K is a lot for me to spend on a siblings education, I'm only 27, but now he's upset and saying that I'm controlling him. AITA? ###### | YTA. The world NEEDS historians. They safeguard knowledge of the past that tells us who we are, where we came from, what mistakes and triumphs we've made that we can learn from. Historians provide background and perspective to current events.
Also, lots of people are interested in history. Popular history books regularly make best seller lists, people live historical documentaries and podcasts. And in case you've missed it, there's a very popular musical about a HISTORICAL person that everyone is talking about. ###### |
Earlier in the year, my daughter’s fourth grade teacher called me and complained to me that my daughter wanted excessive amounts of attention from her and was always near her. I was extremely upset by this because her teacher probably thought that my husband and I are not teaching her proper social behavior.
I told my daughter that she was behaving inappropriately, to stop acting like that around her teacher, and that she was not her teacher’s boyfriend or husband and consequently did not need to win her heart. My daughter just glared at me and went back to studying for her math test the next day.
After that, I noticed that our relationship had become strained and that she’d take a lot of her anger out on me. So was I the asshole or just being a good parent by telling her the harsh truth? I am just very blunt by nature. ###### | YTA. The way you said this- holy shit. You're telling a *fourth grader* that the teacher isn't a boyfriend? The way you approached this was absolutely garbage. ###### |
Sorry for the format, I’m on mobile.
So this happened a years ago, but it came up again and I wanted to know if I was wrong for how I responded.
So a little background, my family is big on their history, almost everything has been passed down through generations, including names. It’s been impressed upon each generation how “important” all of these pieces are. Furniture, jewelry, even the names. This brings us to the issue at hand, my great great grandmothers engagement ring.
I am the only girl in my generation and before my grandmother passed she said it would come to me and would only be given to me once I had graduated college. I was never allowed to see the ring, but everyone in the family would talk about it. The rarity of the cut the clarity of the diamond. I spent years dreaming of this ring, I was in high school when she died.
So when my graduation was coming up my parents had it appraised and insured. They called to tell me the price so I would understand the importance of it. This is where the issue might have occurred. They tell me the number and it was much lower than I had expected, under $10,000, which is expensive but I responded with “wait... that’s it?” They asked what I meant, and said “I thought it would have been worth way more”, they scoffed and said “Well! Sorry it wasn’t up to your taste queen!”
They got really angry and said I was an ungrateful child and had no sense of value. They “gave” me the ring for graduation in front of the family but then took it back for years saying since I didn’t appreciate it they would keep it. I have it now but not without a lecture of its value and how I still don’t appreciate it. I felt bad because it is a beautiful ring and I would never sell it, but I just felt so underwhelmed. AITA for what I said about the heirloom? ###### | YTA. The price of the ring shouldn’t matter to you if you have no intention of selling it. ###### |
On march 10th my son got expelled from school. I wont get into detail about what happened but he gave his friend a knife. He got expelled from regular school for 1 year and got sent to an academy. I gave him a choice, If he went to the academy for the rest of the year i would let him do online/homeschool for his next year classes.
He agreed and went for 2 weeks but when he left for spring break he did not return because of coronavirus. Now today I get his report card in the mail saying he passed. He asks me if we where going to homeschool him, I told him no because of coronavirus and him not finishing the school year at the academy. He got mad and said he’s not going to talk to me anymore. How do I make him understand that my actions are justified? AITA? ###### | YTA. The only thing he is learning from you is not to trust you. ###### |
so i (f38) am a spinster. I live alone, don't have a husband or kids, and i like it that way. My sister (f34) is different, though. She's very [W.A.S.Py](https://W.A.S.Py) and tries to be perfect. She has a husband and 2 kids, and doesn't work. I have no problem with her lifestyle, until now. Her oldest is 12, and her youngest is 2 years.
So her and her husband got evicted, and since she is my sister i let her stay at my place. It started off fine, but it went sour quicky. Her oldest kid doesn't bother me, he mainly just plays video games on his phone or sleeps, and he's very respectful towards me. But her youngest is the devil in disguise. He constantly screams, tries to ruin or play with my things or just annoys you.
Yesterday, while i was sleeping and my sisters husband was at work (he works at a grocery store, i make money by selling paintings.), i was awoken by the sound of her youngest son just screaming happily and went up to see what the little demon was doing now. He was drawing in one of my books. I have alot of books about witchcraft and feminism from the 1960s-1990s that my aunt gave me that i value alot because she died and they are my only memory of her that aren't in my head or on a picture. I became enraged and started yelling at him. He started crying and ran to the room where his and his brother sleeps. I then spent then entire evening trying to restore the book back to normal. Later, his mom came to me, says he's sad and said i should apologize to him and say that i didn't mean the things i said. I absolutely did and i feel not one bit sorry for the kid, and that damaging property is a vaild reason to be yelled at. She called me a asshole
AITA? ###### | YTA. The kid is 2. If there’s stuff you don’t want him to get, keep it out of his reach. If you’re gonna be living with a toddler maybe google to see what’s typical behavior at that age and how to toddler-proof your home.
Btw I can’t remember the last time I heard someone use the word spinster. Especially for a 38 year old. ###### |
Sorry for the format, I’m on mobile.
So this happened a years ago, but it came up again and I wanted to know if I was wrong for how I responded.
So a little background, my family is big on their history, almost everything has been passed down through generations, including names. It’s been impressed upon each generation how “important” all of these pieces are. Furniture, jewelry, even the names. This brings us to the issue at hand, my great great grandmothers engagement ring.
I am the only girl in my generation and before my grandmother passed she said it would come to me and would only be given to me once I had graduated college. I was never allowed to see the ring, but everyone in the family would talk about it. The rarity of the cut the clarity of the diamond. I spent years dreaming of this ring, I was in high school when she died.
So when my graduation was coming up my parents had it appraised and insured. They called to tell me the price so I would understand the importance of it. This is where the issue might have occurred. They tell me the number and it was much lower than I had expected, under $10,000, which is expensive but I responded with “wait... that’s it?” They asked what I meant, and said “I thought it would have been worth way more”, they scoffed and said “Well! Sorry it wasn’t up to your taste queen!”
They got really angry and said I was an ungrateful child and had no sense of value. They “gave” me the ring for graduation in front of the family but then took it back for years saying since I didn’t appreciate it they would keep it. I have it now but not without a lecture of its value and how I still don’t appreciate it. I felt bad because it is a beautiful ring and I would never sell it, but I just felt so underwhelmed. AITA for what I said about the heirloom? ###### | YTA. The heirloom is clearly priceless to your family, and verbalising that it's not as "valuable" as you thought would clearly hurt their feelings. Also, depending on your family background and because of inflation, $10000 might mean very differently to them as it does to you.
I was going to go with E S H at first because your family did have a bit of a strong reaction for you speaking what you believed to be the truth, but it seems like you still might be underestimating its value - feel free to clarify as the last paragraph is not too clear on this! ###### |
Hello all. Throwaway b/c I’d rather not have this associated with my main. I have family that lurks on here.
I (30F) am pregnant with my first child, and it’s a girl!!!!💗💗🎀🎀🎀 I’m so excited to meet her. She’s definitely a bright spot in our lives right now. I also have a large, traditional, very Irish-Catholic family. There’s a lot of reusing names—i.e. one cousin is “Rose Elizabeth” while another is “Elizabeth Rose.” So far, it’s worked without too many snafus and a lot of compromise.
Here’s where there might be an issue. My uncle and I have a mutual interest in family genealogy, and we’ve been trying to create a family tree via old letters/documents. As I was going through it, I found what I consider to be the perfect name—for these purposes, I’ll say that it’s “Mabel Josephine”, nn Mae. My husband loves it too, and it’s the first name that we’ve agreed on since we found out she was a girl.
My sister (34F), however, is named Mae Janice. She has a daughter named Mei with her ex-husband as well. When I told her what our plans were, she kind of made a face and said that I needed to choose another nickname. Her reasoning is that there are way too many Mae/Meis in our family already, and that it’s gotten confusing and frustrating. She asked if we would mind using the full name but calling her something else—i.e. ‘Bella.’ I got really mad, and I admit that I said some regrettable things about her family and husband. We aren’t speaking now.
AITA? I want to use this historically significant name for my daughter, every single part of it. My family is mostly on my side, but the other day our brother suggested that I had been a bit too harsh in how I’ve gone about this, and that it would save everyone a lot of drama and confusion if I just chose another goddamn nickname. But at this point, it’s the principle of the thing. ###### | YTA. The family tradition isn’t for everyone to be called the same thing, is it? Three Mae’s sounds hella confusing. And I’m also confused about how you managed to escalate this into insulting her and her husband when she made a very reasonable suggestion that you keep the name and do a different nickname. There are tons of names in the world, pick a different one. ###### |
About a week ago one of my sister's friends was kicked out of his house by his mom. The kid is very nice but it is sort of a pain to have another person in the house. The house is now really cramped and it's making me very stir crazy. My parents told me the other day he will be with us for another 3 months. They never asked me if I was fine with it or anything like that. I just came home one day and they just said he'll be staying with us. WIBTA if I complained about this kid staying with us? ###### | YTA. The entitlement, holy. Why should they ask you?
1. This isn’t fostering, it’s providing emergency response care and shows your parents are generous and caring, which apparently hasn’t carried down to you.
2. It’s temporary.
3. You are either a child, in which case you do not have a say, or you’re an adult still living at home, which again, you don’t really have a say unless this dude is bunking with you.
4. While your parents absolutely could have warned you, or sat down after the fact to ask how you feel and how they can help make it comfortable for you, they are absolutely not required to ask you first. Parents don’t ask their kids for permission before they procreate, ffs.
5. They likely didn’t discuss it with you because they are focusing on caring for this kid that got kicked out. You obviously live in a loving, caring home. This kid didn’t. He needs the emotional focus of your parents more than you do at this moment. You’ll be okay.
You’re allowed to feel stir crazy. Hell, you’re even allowed to complain a bit about that. However, this person is probably already uncomfortable by feeling like a burden to your family. Complain to someone you can confide in, but complain about things, like being cramped. Don’t shit on this person for getting thrown out.
But, you are absolutely not allowed to complain about “not being asked first”. Smdh
Edit to add one thing. ###### |
Basically, a few months ago I got kicked out of school. I deserved it, my behaviour was wrong, and I truly do feel bad for what I did. Although I do still feel bad, I was really happy for the clean slate it gave me. I started at a new school, made some new friends, got in with the "right" people and I'm really really happy.
Now, the other night I was talking to a friend on the phone and they mentioned they might be switching to the school I got kicked out of. I told them that I would not remain friends with them if they switched to this school.
My reason for saying what I said is that I hate that school. The teachers, people, everything about it. I am not in contact with anyone from that school, I don't want to be associated with it anymore and I'm afraid if I remain friends with them if they switch to this school, then I'll be associated with it.
My friend says I'm the asshole because I said I wouldn't remain friends with them. They said "switching schools won't change who I am".
Yes, it won't change who they are, but it will change a lot in our friendship if they choose to attend this school.
​
Reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA. That’s pretty ridiculous to end a friendship over a school that the person attends. Sometimes friendships fizzle without proximity, but to actually outright tell your friend that you would end your friendship is hurtful and rude. ###### |
My 14 year old son decided a few days ago that he was going to uninstall Windows on his laptop and install another program called Linux on it instead. I told him that I didn't care either way as long as he can still do his schoolwork on it.
The very next day, our desktop computer as well as his dad's laptop both got infected with a virus, our Dropbox got hacked, and we lost a bunch of our important files. There are no computer repair shops open near us right now, so we became stuck using my daughter's laptop until they open again. I am fairly certain that this is a result of my son installing Linux on his computer, because this happened to *two* of our computers right about the same time he installed Linux on his. I told him this and took away his computer so that he can't do any more damage with it, but he got angry told me that this is impossible.
Today, I looked up online how to reinstall Windows on a computer, followed the instructions, and installed it onto his computer with a flash drive. Once I reached the stage where he needs to input his information, I gave the computer back to him, told him what I did, and told him to never install anything dangerous on his computer again. He completely freaked out, started crying, and said that all of his files and his schoolwork are now gone because I wiped his hard drive. I told him that he should have thought about that before infecting our other computers, and that he should have backed up his files.
I had to do this in order to protect our other computers, but I'm wondering if I should have told him ahead of time before I did it. AITA? ###### | YTA. That’s not how viruses work. Tell your husband to stop visiting shitty porn sites and apologize to your son for lacking the common sense to run a simple google search before you went off blathering like some techno-ignorant banshee. ###### |
Me and my SO have been together for a year and some change. Have talked about long term goals many times like Getting our own place. But we haven't actively looked at apartments together.
For the past 2 months and half I have been staying at his place for the most part. But technically, I still live at home with parents. So today I decided to go to store, asked if I could use his car, he said fine. When I get the store, I was just getting the stuff the essentials. Making a key was a second thought. But then I saw the key machine when walking so I decided to make one then surprise him when I get home.
So when I get home from your store, I surprise him. Least to say he was not happy with it. Told me everything from "I was being sneaky for not telling him", "I want his apartment for free use", "I want to snoop when he's not around", "Not respecting his privacy", & Etc.
It's not like I haven't stayed at his place when he hasn't been home. I told him the key would be for when I need place when his isn't home or when both of us run errands we will both have convenience of having a key. Instead of us sharing one key then picking whoever has the key to do their errands fast for it doesn't cause trouble for other person. He still won't come to his senses, if I was in the wrong tell me. Need another perspective. ###### | YTA. That’s his home and you should’ve gotten permission first. You knew what you were doing was wrong so that’s why you remained secretive about it and avoided telling him ###### |
I live in NYC and my roommate has been quarantining with her parents since March so I have had the apartment all to myself. My boyfriend has been staying over more often (he also lives nearby in NYC) since it's just me in the apartment.
Well the other day the room above mine flooded and my bedroom was directly impacted and is unusable right now.
I told my roommate all about this and she offered me her bedroom to stay in until my room is fixed. I asked her if she was sure, and told her that I could sleep on the couch in the living room, but she insisted that it's fine since she doesn't plan on coming back to NYC until close to the end of the year. All she asked me is that I wash her sheets sometime before she moves back in.
Me and my boyfriend stay in her room together (we don't have s\*x in it because I don't want to be disrespectful so we do it in the living room if we ever want to) when he comes over. One morning she facetimed me and I picked up and she saw my boyfriend in her bed next to me and she acted weird and hung up.
Then she sent me a long text saying that she didn't know that he was also sleeping in her bed and that I should have given her a heads up. I told her we're not having s\*x in her bed or anything but she was adamant that I should've given her a heads up and that she was under the impression that it was just me and that she's not comfortable with both of us being in her bed.
I asked my bf and one of my other friends if I was TA and they both agree that because we don't have s\*x in her bed, it doesn't really matter. I don't really understand why she's even bothered? She's okay with me sleeping in her bed but not someone else? AITA? ###### | YTA. That’s her private space which she didn’t give permission for your boyfriend to be in. Sex or no sex you should have asked. ###### |
Throwaway account.
So, the other day I was doing a group video call with 4 of my friends. One of them adds his girlfriend to the chat, and at one point she comments that she’s been feeling a little rundown lately.
I laughed and joked that she’d probably feel better if she ate normal food instead of bat soup. Everyone else laughed, but she got really quiet and said it wasn’t funny. I tried to explain the joke (she looked Asian, the virus came from wild animal markets, etc etc) but that just made her more upset and she eventually made an excuse and left.
a week later we had another group call and I noticed the girlfriend isn’t there, so I mentioned it to my friend. He kept dodging the topic so eventually I straight up asked if his girlfriend was still upset from last week. Then he got really angry and said that of course she still was, because she was born in Beijing and was hurt that I would make a “racist” joke and not apologize.
Well that made me upset because I’m about as far as you can get from racist, and I told him his girlfriend was blowing things way out of proportion. Its not like I knew she was born in China. If I had to guess I would’ve said she was Japanese or even half Asian/Caucasian mix. And I’m hardly the first person to make a corona joke, so I think it’s unfair for everyone to suddenly be on my case when there’s plenty of other people being applauded for telling the same joke. ###### | YTA. That wasn’t a coronavirus joke, that was a racist joke. ###### |
My family is heavily Christian. I was baptized in the catholic church before I even knew how to walk. Today, I (16F) am not Christian. I'm agnostic and my family seemed to support me for my decision every day of the year, except today
I never liked fish and I probably never will because it reminds me so much of my own allergy to seafood. I said to my family that I was an atheist last year, so this is the first Good Friday that they know they're not allowed to force me to eat fish. I thought they would understand and maybe prepare some red meat for me to eat, but they didn't. I sat on the table today and only saw fish
When I asked my mom if she prepared something for me to eat, my grandmother (who lives with us and is the most fervorous religious person I've ever met) said I was supposed to eat the fish, even if I wasn't a Christian. I responded back saying they were supposed to respect my decision and lack of beliefs and she said they would respect them when I was no longer a minor and I should be a good girl and just eat
I ran off the table and stayed in my room all alone. Half an hour later, my mom came into my room, saying that my grandmother was crying because ***"I didn't respect her like I should have"*** and that ***"I should apologize to her"***
I almost told my mom to fuck off but in the end, I felt bad for my grandmother
Am I the Asshole in this story? ###### | YTA. That was dinner. You could have eaten the sides, you child have made your own meat, you could have made a sandwich.
Sometimes I cook things someone in my family doesn’t love. They figure something else out. ###### |
Hello
So my (25f) boyfriend (29m) was with a Japanese girl through college and up until we met, about two years ago.
Throughout the relationship, he studied Japanese so he would be able to communicate with her family in Japan.
However, even though they've broken up, he is still studying Japanese. I asked him if he could study Spanish, the language MY family speaks, but he said no.
He said that he wasn't interested in it, my family was all bilingual so it wasn't necessary, and that the Japanese was just a habit he wanted to maintain.
The way I see it, he's demonstrating that he was willing to put in a lot more effort for her and her family than he is for me, and that really stings. I want him to stop studying Japanese (and maybe start studying Spanish) so that I know he's truly over her.
AITA? ###### | YTA. That is utterly and completely bananas. He learned a language and wants to maintain it. It has nothing to do with his ex gf anymore and you making it about your jealousy and need to feel superior to her is alarming. Quit it or expect to be single very soon. ###### |
My wife is terminally ill. Because of that, she has been unable to show me any forms of physical affection and the spark in our marriage is nonexistent.
We cannot divorce because the legal logistics would rattle shareholders in our company. Therefore, she agreed I could see others if I kept it away from the family.
I have been dating this woman for about a year. At first we were careful not to show PDA when we went out but over time she told me how much that hurts so we started being affectionate when we were out on dates.
A few months ago, somebody from my daughter’s school took a picture of me kissing my partner and posted it on social media. My daughter ended up throwing a tantrum because it was a topic at her school and she got a bunch of comments and questions.
I explained that it was an agreement that her mom and I had, and I deserve to be happy.
Things have just cooled down, but for my birthday yesterday, my partner ended up sending me a present and a note that said she loved and missed me. She also sent my daughter a card congratulating her on finishing middle school.
My daughter started screaming at me that she wanted this woman out of our lives. My wife also got mad because my daughter was sad, claiming I wasn’t keeping it away from the family and that I let this present thing happen in front of my daughter’s best friend, who she invited over for cake.
However, she forgets that I really wanted to spend time with my girlfriend for my birthday but I abandoned that desire for the sake of the family.
My girlfriend makes me feel loved, and I love her very much. She has given so much to me, and I refuse to let go of my happiness because I feel my daughter would understand if she was older.
AITA? ###### | YTA. That is all I can say because from reading what you wrote, you are either a troll or the most selfish person ever. ###### |
So I was out working in the yard for about 2-hours and I come in for a quick break from the son and catch my breath. As I walk in, my wife and kid wake up from their nap. I take him out of his play pen and shortly after my wife notices he has a dirty diaper. She proceeds to tell my son to come to me so that I can change his diaper. He never crawled to me and I just stayed on the couch relaxing. His diaper didn't get changed.
30-minutes later I see a scowl on my wife's face. I ask her why she is upset. Turns out, she was upset that I didn't change his diaper. AITA for not jumping up to change his diaper? ###### | YTA. Tell you what, put on an adult diaper, take a shit in it, and wear it for a minimum of 30 minutes. Then you'll know what your son's poor little bum experienced.
Why were you choosing to neglect your child? And don't give me the line of "well my wife is at fault too." Her actions do not justify your neglect of a helpless baby. What the fuck is wrong with you? ###### |
My gf has recently got very into skincare stuff. She suffered from pretty bad acne until last year when she went on acutane and it cleared it up. Since then she's been excited about being able to try different products and stuff.
One of her recent favorite products is this moisturizer which has snail slime in it. I find that honestly disgusting. She says it works really well for her skin which is a lot dryer than it used to be because of the acutane but I just do not get why you'd want to smear snail slime on your face. There's plenty of moisturizers that don't have actual snail in them. I absolutely cannot fucking stand the thought of kissing her on the cheek and kissing snail.
So I did some research and a couple weeks ago I found another moisturizer (it took ages, I had no idea there were seven million moisturizers) which has similar positive reviews to the one she uses, but without snail slime. It was expensive too, probably more than her snail one. I checked the ingredients and there's nothing in there that she's allergic to so I bought it. When she was out, I scooped out the snail cream from the pot and replaced it with the stuff I'd bought. I didn't throw away the snail cream but I decanted it into another container because I didn't want to throw away her stuff.
She used the new cream which she thought was snail cream for a few weeks with no issue. Then she found the jar of her actual snail stuff a couple days ago and asked me what it was and I came clean. I told her that the thought of her smearing snail on her face made me gag so I found a really good new one for her. I told her I hadn't told her because I wanted her to see that it worked just as well and she wouldn't give it a fair shot if I just asked her to use a different one. She hit the roof and accused me of tampering with her stuff. Ngl I'm still pretty sure I wasn't that out of order because I picked a great new moisturizer but she's still mad at me so I'll ask the hive mind AITA. ###### | YTA. Tampering with anybody's stuff is pretty immoral. You may have made sure that she wasn't allergic to any of the stuff in the moisturizer but what if she actually had been allergic to something in it and you still replaced the creams? Tampering with her stuff is like betraying her trust. ###### |
My gf and I share 2 cats together. The first one we adopted about 4 years ago and the second one we rescued from the streets one year ago.
However our first cat started getting fat so my girlfriend started starving the cats basically. She feeds them 1/4 cup of food twice a day. If you look at how much 1/4 of dry cat food is, you’ll see it’s next to nothing. For one of the cats bowls it only fills like 1/4th of the entire shallow oval bowl.
The cats wake us up in the morning and try their best to get our attention at night because they’re so hungry. If you walk near their food they’ll run over thinking they’ll get fed. I feel so bad for them. We used to fill their bowls to the top and for a few months we had a gravity feeder. I at least tried to get the GF to go back to at least just filling the bowls normally. She won’t budge.
I’ve tried secretly feeding the cats extra but the GF found out and starts HIDING the food because I’m ruining their diet and feeding schedule.
She’s basically starving the cats. I’ve been contacting rescues on FB to see if they’ll take the cats and I posted their pictures on a local facebook group hoping to find a better fit because I don’t think my gf can properly take care of them anymore and she won’t let me properly feed the cats a good amount. Does this make me an asshole or is it the right thing to do for the welfare of the cats. I don’t think she see’s what she’s doing is wrong and wouldn’t willingly give the cats to a better home or adjust their feeding because one of them just happens to be little fat. ###### | YTA. Take your cats to the vet.
Read the bag of food, they usually have feeding instructions. Don't free feed your cats. Obesity leads to health problems in felines like hyperthyroidism, diabetes, asthma and heart problems.
From a cursory Google search, *"If the cat owner is feeding a good quality dry food, that has a good quality protein, then the indoor cat needs only approximately 1/3 to 1/2 cup of food each day. Most high quality foods have approximately 500 calories per 8 ounce cup of food."*
Also, dry food is generally crap for cats. They have a low water seeking drive. Wet food, even generic wet food is better than dry feeding. Portion control is also very easy, as it's basically premeasured. ###### |
My brother is 40 and to the best of my knowledge has never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I suspect he is gay though. He's never married. He announced last year that he was going to be a father and we were shocked. I thought maybe he got someone pregnant. No. He hired a surrogate and even more weird is that he used a donor sperm and paid for a procedure to select the gender. His son is due in August.
I told him he was incredibly selfish. He has an okay job, but no support system. If something were to happen to him, that child would end up in foster care. Our mother is in her 70s, our other brother doesn't want kids and I am in no position to raise a child. I told him he's treating this baby like it's a pet. ###### | YTA. Surrogacy is expensive, so if he had enough money for that, he probably has a fair amount of money saved up. You worry about a support system, but there are thousands of examples where both parents die at the same time, so him being a single parent really isn't as risky as you seem to think. He's 40 and probably feels like he'll have more energy now for a child than later, and even if you disagree with his choices, as family you have already said your opinion and now you can stop bringing it up and just emotionally support him if you want any hope of your brother staying in your life. ###### |
My girlfriend is 21F and I am 36F.
We live together and because she has no relationship with her controlling, abusive parents, I offered to pay her college tuition.
She’s a sophomore, and right now is taking summer courses. Last weekend, I had a work emergency in another state and was stressed out.
I told my girlfriend I wanted her to come with me. She said no, she needed to study for her exam the next day, and that she can’t focus on planes.
I ended up going on the trip alone and was resentful because I was in Las Vegas of all places and I felt she didn’t even care like a normal partner would that I would be surrounded with so many sources of temptation.
Yesterday, the university posted their bill for next semester. I told her that I didn’t know if I wanted to pay it.
She got super upset, but I reminded her that I didn’t have to pay any of it and that I felt like she obviously not appreciating me like she used to.
Since then, she’s been throwing a mini tantrum which has included raiding the wine cellar and not answering me when I ask why she’s drinking except to say “ I’m sad.”
AITA? ###### | YTA. Stop financially abusing your partner. ###### |
I woke up later than usual today and heard my daughter (16) moving around downstairs. I went down and she was playing a video game. We said good morning, and I asked her how long she’d been up. She said for a couple of hours.
I jokingly said “bet you enjoyed having the house to yourself for a while” because my husband and I are usually are at work all day, and she’s usually home alone.
She said “yeah, actually, it was kinda nice”. I didn’t expect a response like that, and frankly, it hurt my feelings. I said “oh, do I not do enough for you?” She rolled her eyes and said “you know that’s not what I meant” and I said “do you really hate your family that much?” She just ignored me that time.
I gave her a chance to make things right and just drop it, and said “you know I’m not being serious” and she said “no I don’t because you say shit like this all the time”. I don’t tolerate that kind of language in my house, and she didn’t even drop it like she should have. I sent her to her room, and she went.
I discussed it with my husband, and I went up to her room, and told her that from now on, since she can’t appreciate family time, that she may not leave her room until we are up. She got very pouty, and told me that I was being unreasonable.
Thing is, she doesn’t appreciate anything I do. She constantly manipulates me, and doesn’t understand how hard isolation has been for me. Considering how she treats me, I think I am being more than reasonable. AITA? ###### | YTA. Stop baiting your teenager into expressing an opinion and then punishing her for having one. You made this into a fight and you’re overreacting. ###### |
The title pretty much says it all.
I (32F) come from an extremely Catholic family, and my sister (30F) was cut off during her senior year of high school because our cousin found out she had a girlfriend and revealed her to them, and she ended up having to take out loans to pay for her college. When my mom died, my sister was not allowed at the funeral. Even though we were never close, I'm the only person in the family who still talks to her. We're basically on "Christmas card" terms, if you will, but that's about it.
My dad died about a year ago and everything was willed to me - his house, car, and of course all his savings. My sister wanted to contest the will, but her lawyer told her it would be a waste of money since my dad made sure to have his will drafted by another lawyer to prevent her from being able to do so. She asked me why I couldn't have even just helped her pay off her student loans or given her the car, but here's the thing - after doing all the math, I realized that after selling the house and car + my dad's savings, I was able to pay off my house, both cars (including my husband's), and set up a college fund for my kids (6F and 8M). I'm also pregnant, so that's another college fund I need to think about . . .
My sister and I were never close because she was always the favorite (until high school, of course) and she would always blame me for things she did. Even as adults we never got along that well, I'm just nice to her because I don't care that she's gay, and I did attend her wedding. But when it comes to my husband and children, I have to have priorities. My sister cut me off permanently, and while that does make me sad, I feel its worth it to secure my family's financial future.
AITA? ###### | YTA. So, you think it was wrong for your family to cut off your sister for being gay...until it became convenient for you? If you gave a shit about doing the right thing, you'd have shared the wealth that she would have been entitled to if your parents weren't awful. You also chose your bigoted family over her up until now by going to events she was banned from and not standing up for her. This just confirmed for her that you were always just a step away from being as awful as them.
Also, justifying what you did because she acted like a typical sibling in high school is really gross. Own your selfishness. ###### |
I’m going to try to keep this short. I have a 19yo cousin who has never had a job, doesn’t go to school and has severe anxiety. I bring her around my boyfriend and our friends a lot to help with her loneliness. She eventually started talking to my boyfriends band mate. I told calmly told her how I didn’t like that because my boyfriend has been working on music since before he knew me and we should respect his space. I also told her we need boundaries and I don’t want her talking to his friends because they’re a bit older (26-27) My boyfriend told his band mate the same thing and they both agreed to stay friends but they wouldn’t see eachother.
Fast forward a couple months and I find out she created an onlyfans account. The link to it was on her bio on Instagram. She didn’t post any nudes or relatively sexual as the pictures but she’d promote herself on the comments of those pictures. I look at the people she’s added and 1/3 of them were my boyfriends friends. She added 2/4 of my boyfriends band mates.
I think she thinks I’m being a hater but if I’ve expressed my boundaries to her before I think it’s fucked up that she disregards them. I told her she’s a really really pretty girl and she doesn’t need to be crossing my boundaries that she’s agreed to in order to be successful on that site. Needless to say she’s since blocked me from that Instagram but has me on her main one 💀 ###### | YTA. So you take her to you friends to encourage her to make new friends, but not the ones you introduced her to, because you get to dictacte other ppl who they befriend and who not.
Get off your high horse. ###### |
I’ve been having issues with this woman pandering to my son for years (she has known my son since he was 2) but really only took a stand when she moved in and my ex started relying on her to help out with MY kids (like watching them if he is busy, or asleep as he sleeps early for work). HE is the father and it is his responsibility to do things for his kids, not some stranger whom I do not trust at all. Plus my older son has been telling me my four year old calls her mom sometimes. hugs and kisses her, and calls her family which I feel is totally inappropriate.
So I’ve been telling my son that she is NOT his family and she is a stranger. She is only his dad’s family, which is true. He does not have to listen to her, only his dad, which also true. I’ve also asked him to stop hugging and kissing her but mostly because of COVID.
I guess my son reported this to his dad because suddenly my SO is calling me an asshole because he says it’s his GFs house too and if he wants to let her help him with the kids, and if the kids want to bond with her or consider her family it’s their choice and I’m “teaching them to hate like me”. I don’t think I’m teaching them to hate at all as I teach them to respect all people. He also says now my son is acting distant and saying weird things to his GF. I feel like if my son is acting this way that is his choice.
AITA? ###### | YTA. She’s not a stranger, she’s known them for 2.5 years. You don’t have to like her, but unless there’s an actual reason to believe she’d hurt your son, you shouldn’t interfere with her authority as an adult. If she’s watching the son while the ex naps, do you really want him to not listen to her? That could be extremely dangerous. By your logic, kids should just ignore babysitters.
You sound bitter that your ex has moved on. All your doing now is creating a toxic situation with your son caught in the middle. If your ex and her have been together this long, she might be in the picture permanently. ###### |
Okay to start off both my girlfriend and I are expecting a boy and we are 6 months in and we couldn't be more happy about her having her first child and me having my second boy. I love them all very much.
My girlfriend and I started a shouting match because she is barely eating I'd say like a quarter of a meal a day if I'm lucky and barely if any snacks in between. And she will always just shrug me off and tell me I don't know her body (which is true) but barely eating once a day is not healthy and even worse for a pregnant woman. Its been like this throughout all the pregnancy she has been heavily nauseus all the time. I am freaking out because the doctor already told us the baby seemed small and she HAD to gain weight or she'd have to go in the office.
I'm trying to reason with her on my lunch break I tell her like 30 mins before to look for whatever she wants I tell her I could buy her restaurant dishes for breakfast lunch and dinner she just needs to eat but she'll refuse and say the stress I'm inducing is far worse for the baby than not eating, and I've recognized this its been 2 months of me holding my tounge but today I we were having the same argument about how dangerous fasting is for a baby and even fasting has a full meal at the end of the day but my stress is much worse. I told her the baby could die if she didn't eat and if she wasn't prepared to be a mother and work past her comfort she should've had an abortion.
She immediately started to cry and how dare I say that. I told her to not nitpick what I told her and to look at the big picture which is a healthy baby but she didn't want to speak. And I'm expecting now she'll want me to apologize
So AITA for saying how dangerous her actions were and she shouldve had an abortion if she wasn't prepared? ###### | YTA. She’s been prescribed 2 separate medications just to “keep things down.” It’s not her fault she’s not eating, and your comment was way out of line. She is so nauseous and can’t keep food down without meds, no wonder she doesn’t want to eat. She’s not trying to fast, her body is not accepting food normally. ###### |
My daughter (16) has been doing online school. Yesterday, we were going over her grades, and there was a 0 that she “forgot” to tell me about. I have a very low tolerance for lying, so I let her have it.
Today is my birthday, but she also had an AP test today, and she needed plenty of rest. However, this morning, she woke me and my husband up with breakfast. When I looked at the time, it was about 7 in the morning.
I asked her how long she’d been up, and she said since 5 because she made cupcakes as well. That would mean she wasn’t asleep as long as she needed to be. I was furious, but I tried to be as calm as possible.
I said “I thought I told you to sleep”. She said “and I did, just not too long”, we went back and forth for a while and I had run out of patience. I began to yell at her, but before I could even say much, she just slammed the tray onto the floor and went to her room crying.
I understood what this was now — since I’m mad at her “kind gesture”, she gets to play the victim and make ME apologize. It was blatant manipulation, which she always does.
She had to clean up the mess, and now she’s grounded for the whole summer. My husband tells me that I’m overreacting, but she has fucked up time and time again, and her grades are the most important thing right now. Her job is school, and she manages to fuck it up all the time.
AITA? ###### | YTA. She's too old for you to control her sleep schedule. Control your temper. ###### |
I(27M) have been living with my girlfriend (26F) for 2 years. We rent a nice apartment together. I make 3 times more money than she does, so when we moved in together, we agreed on I should pay 70 % and she should pay only 30% of the rent, and she will clean more than I will. She buys more food than I buy too, and she also cooks more(she cooks better than me) Well I slowly realized that since I pay much more money than she does, I should not clean our apartment. So in the last one year she did everything around the house, and I thought she Is okay with it, but today she was upset during cleaning and she told me this is not how things should be. I told her that she should pay more then, but she said she can’t because even though she is working a lot, she buys food too and she can’t save any money. (I don’t believe this) we ended up having a huge fight and she I crying now I think. I think she is dramatic and not equal.
AITA for thinking I am right ? ###### | YTA. She's not your maid. What happens if you buy a house? Does she have to do all the maintenance and mow the lawn and stuff too? Get off your ass and help out, you live there too. ###### |
My adult daughter is living with us to help take care of my husband, her step dad. Her day job is nursing so she’s been quite stressed lately, and I blamed that for how distant she’s been.
Thing is, she’s a plenty affectionate person. She tells her dog that she loves him multiple times a day. Before she leaves for work, when she gets home, when she feeds him, when they’re training, completely at random. Whereas she barely acknowledges me at all. It’s this huge, ugly pound dog who I don’t find lovable at all, but I digress.
The other day she was fawning over him as usual and I snapped. I tried to politely tell her that I’d appreciate some of the same love that she shows to a damn dog. I’m her mother after all. She didn’t react well to that and stormed away, with the dog of course. She called me an ass and my husband says she has a point.
AITA? ###### | YTA. She's caring for your husband, and that's not enough to demonstrate her love? You sound exhausting. ###### |
Ok so I asked her if she wanted to play a game with me sense we can't meetup in person and the only one that fit the criteria was dbx2.
We both start playing around the same time and I get past the tutorial and decide to wait for her to finish. I start doing random story and side missions while I wait, she sits there doing the tutorial. I ask if she needs help she says no so I keep doing missions. 2 hours later she is still on the tutorial, at this point she says I'll try again tommorow and I immediately say I cant believe you wasted time on that instead of just saying you did not want to play it. she says she does and I hang up now she's confused I'm annoyed and we've both gotten no where. ###### | YTA. She was learning something new so you could play together and instead of being grateful for her effort, you got angry.
You wasted *her* time. ###### |
This happened today,
We live in a flat in a big city, as a result, me and my sister are sharing a room together.
I wanted to sleep, but my sister, had an online meeting with her teacher and her classmates, and had everything on her speaker.
I asked her if she could turn it down a notch cause it's bothering me, it didn't change much cause it was still bothering me.
I asked her if she could use some headphones, she said sure bring them over.
Here is where everything happened,
I told her "No we're in a shared room together, so you should always use headphones, since it bothers me".
Now, my sister always puts her tv shows/music/instagram stories on speaker, but i never really say anything, I just plug my earphones in and i'm good, but in this instance I really wanted to sleep and it bothered me.
She told me that if I didnt bring her the earphones/headphones, that she would still use the speakers.
So I replied, that if she didn't turn it off or use headphones, I will cut the internet off.
Fast forward to when I cut the internet off, and I was in my bed.
I heard my mom coming through the door and defending my sister cause "she is studying", so apparently she can BOTHER ME IN MY SLEEP if she's studying.
I did not think that i was fair, i called them out on it, i turned the internet on, and stormed off into my parent's room.
so AITA for cutting the internet off and thinking that my sister should go look for headphones to put on her head, because we share our room? ###### | YTA. She was in the middle of a meeting with her class, and you acted like a brat. If you wanted her to use headphones, considering she probably couldn’t get up and hunt them down, you should’ve gotten them yourself. You’ve never mentioned to her before that it bothered her, so you can’t expect her to know.
Also, what the hell do you think gives you the right to turn of the internet in your MOMS house? You don’t pay for it, so keep your hands off.
Her school comes before your nap time. ###### |
I've been with my GF for 5 years and we recently had an anniversary. We did a huge thing and exchanged a bunch of presents. One of the presents I got her was a silver necklace from a game that I really enjoyed as a child and consider one of my favourite games. The publisher released it with a cubic zirconium piece so I had a jeweller remove it and replace it with a small diamond. All in all it cost me a pretty penny.
My GF loved it when I gave it to her and kept saying how happy she was with it, she'd wear it almost every day. When she was out with her friends one of them remarked "Oh, is that so and so's necklace from that game?". She Googled it and saw it was the same and blew up on me.
I explained what I'd done and how it was set with a diamond now but she was livid that I gave her "your gaming shit" and she now refuses to wear it and said I could do with it what I want.
Edit: This, [FF7, Aerith's necklace](https://store.na.square-enix-games.com/en_US/product/597038/final-fantasy-vii-silver-necklace-aerith-ribbon-ver-jewelry), is what I got her. I'm not really a gamer, I've got one gaming model which is just a plane and that's it. I've got a lot of other hobbies and I mainly just play FIFA or BF1 with friends every now and then.
My GF just reminds of Aerith a lot and I thought it would be a sweet gift. There were a lot of other gifts that were exchanged so this isn't the only thing I got her. ###### | YTA. She thought you bought it because you were thinking of *her* and what *she'd* like, and she found out that you were actually thinking of *yourself* and the thing that *you* like. ###### |
Ok, so my fiancée (21F) and I (24M) have been together for 4 years now. Our relationship has been rocky lately especially being stuck together in quarantine. She moved out here 1000+ miles from her friends and family but hasn’t made an effort to make friends here, so really I’m her only friend. She’s a really sweet, smart girl and I do love her but we just have been butting heads constantly.
I don’t want to go into detail but a few months ago we went through a severe rough patch and I did/said a lot of things I regret. We were both acting shitty to each other and I acknowledged that I was a bad partner during this time. She has held this over my head since.
Today we got into a heated argument about something stupid and she brought it up again and told me how much I hurt her... She then started to have a full on breakdown, crying and hyperventilating and everything.
She started saying shit like “I just want my mom, I want my mommy, I want to go home” which came off extremely pathetic and childish to me. I calmly told her she needs to woman up if this relationship is going to work and she needs to learn how to forgive me. She can’t be crying for her mommy like a 5-year-old child.
This pissed her off and made things worse... Since the fight she has not spoken to me. I love her dearly and I think I was justified in giving her tough love in that moment. It is not normal for an adult woman to cry for her mom like that...
Please help me out Reddit AITA??? ###### | YTA. She needs to go home. ###### |
This is petty but it irritated me and I want some feedback. IDK maybe stay-at-home is getting to us. Girlfriend and I have been watching Jeopardy on Netflix recently as a nightly ritual before bed. I love calling out the answers I know, which is usually quite a lot (I've had multiple people tell me I should try out for the show). She does sometimes but rarely. She has a habit however of the ones I don't know or the ones where nobody on the show knows them she will go "mmm hmmm" when Alex says the answer, like she knew it the whole time. After like so many times of this I paused it and confronted her and asked her why she does that. She explained how she knew the answer on that particular one and to me it was an insinuation that she like knows every single answer every time she goes mmmm hmmm. So I unpaused it and passive-aggressively started mocking her by not answering any of the questions out loud and just going mmm hmmm after every question and she rolled her eyes at me. It was really getting on my nerves so I just turned it off and left the room. We haven't talked since. AITA for being annoyed by this? ###### | YTA. She might be full of shit or she might know the answer, but not able to say it quickly enough. Regardless, you called it out like an asshole. Time to stop watching Jeopardy together if it bothers you that much OR give her the benefit of the doubt and let it go.
A little relationship advice: most of the time, trying to teach someone "a lesson" is the asshole move. You're better off calmly explaining why something bothers you (without assigning blame) and perhaps making a request for some kind of change or compromise. ###### |
My wife always complains about breastfeeding. First her nipples were always hurting, and now she always talks about how she never gets a minute away from the baby because it feels like the baby is glued to her chest.
The other night we got in an argument because she wanted to go to the store and she said there’s milk pumped for the baby if she wakes up and gets hungry. I told her not to worry about it and I’d go. She snapped and said she always has to stay home with the baby and never gets a minute alone. She was saying how she feels lonely and it feels unfair, how I don’t understand how all of her meals are always cold or she has to scarf them down, and how I don’t understand that she always has to wake up with the baby and even if I were to bottle feed the baby, she’d still have to wake up anyways to pump to prevent engorgement.
I got tired of the nagging and told her she needs to just formula feed and stop bitching about breastfeeding. She had the option and she chose to breastfeed, why is that my fault. I told her if she’d just formula feed then I could help more, but she keeps saying that it’s better to breastfeed and that I’m fully capable of helping her with the milk she has stored in the freezer, even though I was under the impression that she was trying to stock up for when she goes back to work.
Once again the excuses started so I said either formula feed or shut up. Now she’s mad at me and she hasn’t talked to me in a few days unless it pertains the baby. I told her I was sorry if I hurt her feelings but I guess that wasn’t enough. ###### | YTA. She literally told you it was cool to use the bottle in the fridge, and you wouldn't. Breastfeeding is something she clearly wants to do even if it's hard, so your job is to support her in that.
Also, why are you saying 'she' should just formula feed and then you can 'help' more? You know that's also your baby, right? You sound miserable to coparent with. ###### |
Before I start, I just want to say my gf is beautiful. Since quarantine, she started working out at home. She also changed her diet. She lost some weight but she’s also been toner. Especially around her ass and wait. I’ve complimented her at first but now she’s getting a bit cocky. All she talks about is working out and eating. She talks about how much she can squat and how good she’s feeling. She does this constantly and it’s getting a bit boring and annoying. I dated a smart girl who spoke way more than her appearance and her fitness stuff. I told her that it’s good that she’s working out but she isn’t as hot as she thinks she is and that it would be better if she went back to her old habits. She always had a nice body. She didn’t need to work out. The results of working out has led to her being annoying so the results of a tad smaller waist isn’t worth this. She sounds like a meat head now. ###### | YTA. She likes the way she looks now, and is feeling confident in herself, and your response is "hey babe, you're actually pretty ugly, so get off your high horse and get back to the books." ###### |
My younger sister just made some completely normal mozzarella sticks that we bought a few weeks ago, and I asked if I could have some of them.
This is where my older sister who has celiac disease jumps in saying that she’s having some too, where I then point out that she definitely shouldn’t be having any, which she is well aware of, but she goes on to say that yes she wants some, so she will have some.
After that I get a bit frustrated and I go on a tiny about 30 second rant about how unfair it is to our mom who’s done so much to make sure that my sister can have whatever kind of flour and whatnot that she needs to make anything she wants really. I feel like it’s kind of an asshole move to my mum who’s spent a lot of money to make sure she has everything she needs. Not to mention the fact that she’s ruining her intestines and preventing them from being able to absorb vitamins and such when she eats gluten.
After this she starts crying and says I have no idea what it’s like to live this this, and that she’d like to see me avoid all of this, and basically just runs upstairs to her room and slams the door.
Like I get that it’s hard to just give up all of these foods that she loves especially since she only found out about it this September, and I’ve been trying really hard to not judge her for slipping up on it because it’s a lot of changes to make all of a sudden, but this whole attitude she got about it just now just made me a bit angry.
I’d also like to say that we’ve been baking a lot more than usual since being stuck in our house for the past couple of weeks, but haven’t once made anything like cakes or anything she couldn’t also eat, and also if she wanted mozzarella sticks we could just find a recipe for making good gluten-free ones, which we’ve talked about doing plenty of times but we just never got around to doing it.
So AITA for lashing out on her? ###### | YTA. She knows what it’s going to do to her and she’s making a conscious choice, it’s up to her.
You obviously care but you went about it the wrong way. ###### |
So i have lived with my friend for 5 months now and we’ve been friends for 13 years. We both have kids she has a 2 year old i have a 1 year old. Just some background if y’all were curious.
So anyway I’m one of the millions of people who got laid off. So i obviously just stay home with my daughter. I do all the chores now too now that I’m not working but i am still paying my half of the bills. My friend is an apartment manager and is still working. And she is getting a stupid amount of perks right now for working like, being about to work from home, a raise, half days off, and paid punches.
This morning i was walking my friend and her daughter to the car and my friend said she’s getting lunch with her boss because of the paid lunches. I said mockingly because you’re essential and she said exactly. I then said you’re not essential. Which she said back at least I’m not sitting home all day of the couch.
I didn’t think i was an asshole for saying she wasn’t essential but now I’m thinking i shouldn’t of been so dismissive of her work.
Amita for saying my friend isn’t essential. ###### | YTA. She is essential worker. And you sound quite jealous of your friend and the "perks" she's getting. Your comment got a well deserved come back from her. ###### |
I live in NYC and my roommate has been quarantining with her parents since March so I have had the apartment all to myself. My boyfriend has been staying over more often (he also lives nearby in NYC) since it's just me in the apartment.
Well the other day the room above mine flooded and my bedroom was directly impacted and is unusable right now.
I told my roommate all about this and she offered me her bedroom to stay in until my room is fixed. I asked her if she was sure, and told her that I could sleep on the couch in the living room, but she insisted that it's fine since she doesn't plan on coming back to NYC until close to the end of the year. All she asked me is that I wash her sheets sometime before she moves back in.
Me and my boyfriend stay in her room together (we don't have s\*x in it because I don't want to be disrespectful so we do it in the living room if we ever want to) when he comes over. One morning she facetimed me and I picked up and she saw my boyfriend in her bed next to me and she acted weird and hung up.
Then she sent me a long text saying that she didn't know that he was also sleeping in her bed and that I should have given her a heads up. I told her we're not having s\*x in her bed or anything but she was adamant that I should've given her a heads up and that she was under the impression that it was just me and that she's not comfortable with both of us being in her bed.
I asked my bf and one of my other friends if I was TA and they both agree that because we don't have s\*x in her bed, it doesn't really matter. I don't really understand why she's even bothered? She's okay with me sleeping in her bed but not someone else? AITA? ###### | YTA. She gave permission for you, not you and your boyfriend. When you were double checking that it was OK, it would have been polite to mention that your boyfriend was staying over as well so she would be aware it wasn't just you.
​
>we don't have s\*x in it because I don't want to be disrespectful so we do it in the living room if we ever want to
This also feels like AH behavior. OK, you're not having sex in her bed but you're having sex in the communal area? Which I'm assuming she also uses when she's home? And also it's probably harder to clean because you can't just throw a couch in the washing machine. ###### |
Throwaway... Also please don't just assume 'YTA' just because of the title.
So I like painting/drawing, it's a great hobby of mine, and I love to do it in my free time.
My gf is a very clumsy girl. She'll trip on air. Which is surprising since she loves to bake. She can bake really good cakes/desserts, tho the clumsiness sometimes makes her drop flour, eggs etc. And she has broken a few glasses, but she has always paid for me to get them back, so it's not really a big issue.
So since we're all staying inside I decided to paint, and I spent like 4+ hours on it (with breaks of course) and the final project was amazing. One of my best artworks. I was ecstatic.
I asked my gf to come and see it to give her opinion and what it looked like. She came in a few minutes and told me it looked amazing, and that I should sell it. She then got up to make some coffee and I decided to add some final touches and stuff.
So then when I was doing it, my g.f comes in, with the hot coffee, and...
*Spills it all over my painting.*
She immediately started saying sorry while saying she'll pay for a new canvas, new supplies, and other things.
I got really mad, and started yelling at her for being clumsy, and told her she couldn't repay me hours of my time and effort, that maybe she should watch where she's going before she ruins something else. And then we didn't really talk, and I came back to a ruined dry, messy canvas.
I went to sleep, and in the morning woke up to her making breakfast and apologizing. The house was all clean, and she made my favorite cake and stuff. I forgived her, tho I'm still a little mad over it. But I feel a little guilty...
So aita for yelling at her reddit? ###### | Yta. She didn’t walk into the room intent on ruining your painting. Screaming at her and putting her down didn’t fix your painting, but it certainly bruised her feelings and your relationship. Was it worth it? ###### |
I am very stressed at the moment. I cannot complete anything, so I turn to baking to feel like I can at least get something done.
All of my kids and my husband are appreciative of it, except for my 16 year old daughter, who has been on this diet she doesn’t need to be on. She will eat cookies occasionally but since I’ve been making more, she has to eat more.
She came up to me earlier today and said she didn’t want to have so many cookies. I was already in a terrible mood, and this just made me snap. I said “fine”, and went to the kitchen and grabbed butter, eggs, anything you use to make cookies and dumped it all in the trash.
My daughter said “you don’t have to stop... I just don’t think I’ll have any more” but I was already in it.
One of my younger kids walked in and asked what I was doing, and I said “throwing away all the cookie ingredients because your sister decided that we don’t get to have any more”.
My daughter raised her voice and said to me “you need to stop shoving words in my mouth, I know you’re in a bad mood right now” I cut her off and said “telling someone they’re in a bad mood doesn’t help”. She rolled her eyes and went to her room.
Perhaps I overreacted. But the teenager does not get to dictate what happens in my house. I am tired of her diet ruling my eating habits, because I’m not going to bust ass to make a special little meal for her every night.
AITA? ###### | YTA. She didn’t try to control what you did, she just said that she wouldn’t be having anymore. If you don’t want to make her special meals, that’s fine. She ‘s old enough to cook on her own. But, all she was saying in that moment, was that she didn’t want anymore cookies. You severely overreacted. ###### |
Me and my girlfriend have different tastes in shows and movies, but we do have some common ground. I like anime a lot more than she does, but we've watched a few different anime together and she's conceded that some of them are actually pretty good. She really enjoys Bollywood movies because of her culture and I'm not a huge Bollywood lover, but we've watched like 3 movies and I thought they were all pretty good. Usually we don't watch the shows she wants to because I'm not interested in her tastes at all, but she still likes anime somewhat, so we compromise and watch it.
Lately, she's started being more selective of the anime we're watching. The last show we were on was really good, but she said she was bothered by the fact that every woman in the show has big breasts and wears skimpy clothes or bunny outfits for no reason. I told her that's just the style, and she's making a big deal for no reason, but eventually I agreed that we would switch to a different one, but she didn't like that one either because there were little to no female characters in it.
After this, she told me that she would only watch anime that a) has female characters in it and b) doesn't inappropriately sexualize them for no reason because in her own words, it was really starting to get to her.
I told her she was being ridiculous with these requirements and she got mad at me. AITA? ###### | YTA. She didn't tell you not to watch them. She said she didn't want to watch objectifying or heavily sexualized anime. And that's a totally reasonable thing for her to decide. ###### |
I am in a group chat with some of my classmates, including a girl with really, really big boobs. She never really talked about them being annoying. She posted on the group chat, “I’m getting a breast reduction! I’m so excited, say bye-bye to the twins!” I said “RIP” and posted a picture of a gravestone. It was intended as a light hearted joke since that’s the tone of the group chat. People got upset at me and basically accused me of being insensitive and sexist, saying I’m implying that the only thing that matters is her boobs. In my opinion it was just a silly joke and fit the tone of her message. AITA? ###### | YTA. She could be very insecure about them and it might’ve hit a nerve. ###### |
I'm going to keep this short. I graduated college last week. I took graduation pictures with my family and friends. I put up a little collage on facebook, twitter etc but I cut out my mum from the pictures before this. I have nothing against my mum but she looks significantly younger for her age and it annoys me. Some people think we're sister and one time someone even though she was younger than me. And people tend to think she's my dad's younger trophy wife (she's only 2 years younger than him). I mean I hope I get her genes but it really annoys me. So to avoid inevitable comments about her I cropped her out of our family picture.
She's hurt that I cut her out but not my brother or my dad. Like she's not part of the family. But really it was a harmless thing and I did thank my "parents" in my post so that includes her.
​
AITA? ###### | YTA. She can't help the way she looks and if you really did care for her as much as you say you do, you wouldn't care. Her relationship should be worth the confusion. I think you take it a bit too hard. If people have some kind of misunderstanding or judgement about your family, you tell them to fuck off. You're just being bratty.
Imagine being in her shoes. She is probably wondering what she did to deserve this and probably thinks you don't love her. You literally erased her from important day photos. Actions speak louder than words.
Flat out disgusting. ###### |
My cousin Luke (fake name) has always been a bit on the feminine side. He changed his gender to become a female last month. He now wants to go by the name Lucy.
Him and his parents came over for lunch and we were all talking. I told them about how my exams were going and how I bought my first car last week. After we all spoke, I asked Luke how he was doing and he told me that he wanted to be called Lucy. Now, most of my extended family were against Luke wanting to transition as they felt that it wasn't normal. I told him that I prefer calling him Luke as it felt weird calling him by a different name.
He got upset and told me that I was being rude to him. My father got involved telling us to behave like men and stop squabbling between eachother. The rest of the family kept quiet. After about 10 minutes, him and his family left. My mum told me that I shouldn't have been rude like that and just called him by his new name just to please him . But at the same time, my father told me that I shouldn't call him by the new name. AITA? ###### | YTA. She asked you to call her Lucy, do it. It's not fucking hard.
Also, coming out as transgender isn't something people just do on a whim and she's not changing her name cause she just likes Lucy better, she's doing it because being born male and everything associated with that causes her dysphoria which can range from being uncomfortable (MUCH more uncomfortable than you are calling her by a new name) to "I would rather die than live this way". Have some fucking respect and compassion for your cousin ###### |
My wife (29F) and I (33M) had our first child at the beginning of 2020. Since my wife was breastfeeding, she always woke up to take care of the nighttime crying as our baby usually would need to be fed. During this time, I discovered that I would usually sleep through any soft crying, only waking up when our baby was actively yelling. Things were rough already, but about a month ago the baby stopped sleeping in the bassinet and started exclusively on mommy's chest. Since that only works if my wife is upright, she's been stuck on the couch every night. I've tried to take her place a couple times, but the baby definitely doesn't sleep as well with me and I have to admit I don't really want to do it except to give my wife a break. The issue is that there's always an easy excuse not to: my beard bothers the baby, I have to work early(wife lost her job due to the troubles), there aren't any bottles clean(we started supplementing with formula). My wife cites these as reasons why she should just do it, but I know it's also because she doesn't trust me to wake up if our baby starts to slide off and, at the end of the day, because I'd honestly rather not have to. My wife typically puts herself last when it comes to...well, most things, but it's hard to get her to change her mind when she fights tooth and nail to accommodate me. AITA for not not forcing her to take the night off? ###### | YTA. Shave the beard, clean the bottles, look into sleep training, talk to your wife. Does she get any sleep? ###### |
Hello all! I'm in a bit of a pickle and am curious about your judgement.
I (M21) recently was drinking with my flatmates, my girlfriend (F20) and a friend of one of my flatmates (let's call him "Ben"). Ben and I began talking-- we shared some great conversation, and after a while I became tired and went to bed with my GF. While we were getting ready for bed I remarked that, had I not been in a relationship, I probably would have hit on Ben a little bit. She was clearly quite hurt by this, told me that it suggested she wasn't enough and gave me the cold shoulder. Even after explaining that it was only a passing thought, I love her dearly, and do not feel anything for anyone else, sje still was deeply bothered by this.
Now, clearly I'm not going to do something like this again-- it makes my gf uncomfortable and it'd be wholly inconsiderate to just ignore that. However, is it a jerk move to tell your partner that you find someone attractive in passing? Is this just an individual boundary to respect? Is she uncomfortable with my bisexuality (something that I've told her about in the past)?
Thanks! ###### | YTA. Saying you are interested in another person while in a relationship is totally inappropriate. ###### |
My girlfriend (29) is a very lively and energetic person. But sometimes her behaviour is really annoying for me (33). She wants me to share her joy for little meaningless things up tp 5 times a day. It's tiring.
Yesterday we went on a hike and she was constantly admiring the nature.
"The grass has reached an impressive height."
"These ducks have babies! Look! Three!"
"Nature is healing my soul. Look at this panorama. Breathtaking."
She was obviously having the time of her life. I get it. There is a duck, there is some green grass and some hills where we were walking. But the hills are not that impressive and you can literally see them everywhere in our area. She made 3 or 4 comments about nature and it always included the imperative to look. But I just wanted to exercise and get the hike done as quick as possible. I know exactly where her behavior comes from. Her family does the same. "Look, James. The tit found a nest in our tree." "Mary, look how beautiful your cake glazing turned out to be. Delicious!"
I am so tired of looking. I don't want to give her that attention and the things she is pointing out dont make me happy. They mean nothing to me. So I guess I was being rude by telling her "Please. Please let me walk in peace and stop asking me to admire all this stuff. I don't want to!" She didn't take it well and we ended up being quiet for the rest of the hike. I didn't want to silcence her. I am sorry and apologized but she was angry and avoiding me in our apartment. She said "So what else am I supposed to talk about?". I think she got me wrong. Am I the Asshole? ###### | YTA. Please don’t ruin a good, wholesome woman. Just leave. I have a lively family member that has been married to a man like you for 40 years who never got the courage to leave after kids. She’s miserable but they’re in their 70s now and it’s too late. ###### |
Throwaway as my brother knows my main reddit account
I have a younger brother who is 20 I am 32. Recently my younger brother accidentally got a girl pregnant. He told me that and told me he is only going to pay child support and that's all he is going to do with the kid. I was mad and I told him he is no longer family to me. I told him he is a horrible person for ditching the girl who he got pregnant and ditching his child. He said he is still going to pay child support. I told him in my eyes he is no longer a man. '
Anyway our mom heard the fight and told me that it's his choice if he wants to be in the child life and that if I disown him for his own choice she will disown me. I told that she is babying my little brother and now he has to man up and be the father. This was at a family gathering. People herd this and started picking sides. Some family member's went with my mom and brother while the others went with me. Since that family gathering people on my brothers side have actively ignored people on my side and vice versa.
Today my younger sister 17 called me and said that I ruined the family. She also said she supports her brother decision and I a bad person. So aita for disowning my younger brother who chose not to raise the child he helped create and then causing the family to become divided ###### | Yta. Personally, I support a woman’s right to choose, but I’d feel like a hypocrite if I didn’t also support a mans right to choose. Now men obviously can’t choose for a girl to abort their child as it’s her body, but I think it’s ridiculous that men are shunned and shamed for not stepping up when they don’t want to or are not ready, even legally forced to pay child support when they’re not financially safe to. If a man does not agree to be a parent in an unplanned pregnancy then that should be their choice, and the one carrying the child should make a personal decision about if they still want to have said child. It’s not right to force women to be parents, and it’s not right to force a man to either. ###### |
So, I'm going to be in high school next year, and I know for a fact my schedule will be extremely, extremely busy: I'm taking 4 APs, playing varsity soccer (tryouts have already happened for next year's fall sports) and year-round competitive club lacrosse, am going to join the debate team, and have an internship with our governor.
​
My goal is eventually to get into a top school like Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, or Georgetown, and I only see my schedule getting busier and busier as the years go on. So I figured I should try to get rid of any distractions that could get in the way of my productivity, and decided to come up with a list. At the top of the list was the TV and the xbox, and I convinced my parents to get rid of them by telling them it would help my productivity.
​
The problem is, this made my older sister pissed at me. She watches a lot of Netflix, and is pissed at me. I literally don't see why-- if she wants to watch Netflix, she can do so on her laptop. But she keeps complaining about how it 'isn't the same' on a smaller screen. I really think she's making too much of big deal over this.
​
AITA? ###### | YTA. Part of being a driven, successful person is learning to manage distractions YOURSELF and self-regulate. Not requiring everyone else around you to alter their lifestyles to help YOU succeed. I guarantee you’ll have to deal with noisy people and distractions in college, even if it’s Harvard. Best get to practicing now. ###### |
I am a college student (21F) who needed a part time job, so applied for and accepted a job offer for a local popular fast food restaurant in my city.
I went in for orientation/training, and quickly realized I did not fit in whatsoever. Besides the general manager, I was the only white employee. I was only there for a few hours, but I had problems fitting in and talking with the other employees. Part of this I’m sure is just getting use to new coworkers, but I can tell part of it is also cultural differences. I have worked in customer service/fast food before and had a much different experience than this.
I feel like a racist asshole for this, but I resigned the next day because I felt extremely uncomfortable in that work environment (although my verbal reason for leaving was “too low of compensation for the demanding and stressful work”). My family says I did the right thing for “trusting my gut” and not putting myself through discomfort if I think I’d have been miserable working there. I can’t stop thinking about my decision and how intolerant to other races and cultures I must truly be based on my behavior in this situation. I never would have even considered myself a racist, but I’m questioning myself now...
So, AITA? ###### | YTA. One day? Non-white people put up with being the only non-white person in various environments ALL THE TIME. IMO you should have waited until you saw whether you liked the job, learned the workplace culture (which takes time at any job), liked the people (who may take more than half a day to get to know), and were getting out of the job whatever you were looking for when you applied for it. ###### |
So I've (25M) lived with my ex (24F) for 5 years, we dated for almost 3 years, this was 2 years ago, she's been with her boyfriend for a while now- they're even planning on moving in with eachother, she's very excited, since breaking up we've just been friends.
I met my girlfriend 5 months ago, dating for 3months.
She knows I've got a roommate, she knows my roommate is a woman and she knows we are friendly.
I didn't think it was necessary.
We were recently talking about exs when I said I'd briefly dated *roommates name* - a silly mistake on my part.
She freaked out, calling me an AH for not telling her first and had she known she wouldn't have been as trusting of *roommates name* and that its something I should've told her.
My roommate agrees I should've told my girlfriend but my girlfriend is overreacting by ignoring me.
AITA? ###### | YTA. Of course you should've told her. And you didn't BRIEFLY date your room mate, 3 years is a long term relationship. ###### |
So I live with my girlfriend and her friend (also female) in a two bedroom apartment. Today while the gf's friend was at work I took a shower. When I got out, I came out to the living room without getting dressed and went to sit on the couch. My girlfriend got upset and asked me what I was doing. She insisted that I go put some pants on. I was confused but I did. When I got back out there I asked her what the problem was and she told me I was being disrespectful to her friend by sitting naked on the couch we all use. I was confused once again. I understand that if I was nasty and sweaty, but I was literally fresh out of the shower. Anyway, I told her that I wouldn't do it anymore but I didn't understand why it was disrespectful. Now she's mad that I don't understand. AITA? ###### | YTA. Nudists apparently carry a towel. At minimum sit on a towel rather than putting your naked butt and genitals on things other people use too. ###### |
So, I’ve been dating H for about six months and everything going great, though if I had to pick on thing to change it would be that she’s a pushover, and can’t say no to anyone. Still when we’re alone or around our friends everything is going really well. The biggest issue is her overly zealous mother, who she was forced to move back in with during the pandemic.
H’s mom doesn’t like me, doesn’t think I’m good enough for her daughter, but at the same time always sucks up to me, because my dad is prominent in our community, and she thinks I’m like her daughter’s golden ticket to money. I’m definitely a jokester, always the life of the party, and honestly a lot of people don’t like that about me.
So, this weekend restrictions eased up, and her uncle invited us over for a little family get together. The mom was sort of rude like she always is, but everyone was having fun. I should mention her mother is a very strict Christian, H went to Catholic school, and he mom actually used to volunteer with some debutante thing where they taught the girls “respectable” behavior, so not the most fun woman.
Anyway, I was teasing H, and she took a dab of frosting from a cupcake and smeared it on my face. She knows me well enough to know I’m competative, and kind of an ass. Now the face just seemed too obvious so I smeared the rest of my cupcake on her cleavage.
She sort of muttered something about I take stuff too far, but she was laughing, and then I saw her mother’s face. Her mother looked pissed, so I said let me get that babe, and licked some of it off. Now H is mad because she had to listen to her mother’s lecture and she said I need to learn to tone it down when I’m with her family, but she says she loves me for me and I was just being my asshole self. I think she needs to learn to stand up to her mom, so AITA for having a little food fight with my girlfriend? ###### | YTA. Now the mom has a real reason to dislike you if you felt it was unjust before. ###### |
Yesterday while I was taking it easy in the backyard with a beer, my son (17) standing by the backdoor and ask what’s for dinner, I didn’t feel like cooking anything. I had got a good price on Boston Butt, so I told him to take that.
Later I noticed that he hadn’t touched it, so I went to his room to ask him. He said that he made a hamburger and fries instead, when I asked why he didn’t reply, so I had to repeat myself. he quietly said “too bloody”.
That’s something he have kept saying ever since he needed five stitches a few years ago, I’m tired of him using that argument whenever he sees a little bit of blood, he even walk away on movie nights if it comes up in a scene. So I told him that he needs to stop using that argument, that the pig is already dead and won’t feel anything. Since he didn’t say anything I asked how long he is going to keep it up. He started to cry so I just left.
The thing is, I told some friends about it and they got angry at me, saying how insensitive I was. But he still eats meat, so I don’t see how he could get so upset about seeing a little bit of blood.
So, am I the asshole? Or do my son need to stop using that argument? ###### | YTA. Not everyone likes their meat bloody. Even if it did not stem from some traumatic experience with stitches, you should still respect that he prefers his meat cooked.
He made himself dinner. Didn't complain. Didn't criticize you for how you like your meat.
I mean..cmon. What's the problem here? Just let him be. ###### |
I am living overseas in a place that has the pandemic under control and want to return to the States having been offered my dream job, which I have worked 15 years to get. The problem is is that I am not willing to take my two small children (1 year and 3 years) with me. I do not mind risking my own health to travel to the States and work but I feel that bringing my children would be impossible right now- I do not have family that can care for them and I do not want to put them in daycare given the current situation. Their father has offered to take care of them during the pandemic so that I can take this job.
The problem is is that I feel like a shit mother if I leave my children behind. I have concerns about how fit their father is to care for them both full time without me there. He is a bit of a man-child (sorry, I know I am going to get burned for this) in the sense that I have to make all the decisions and do all of the cleaning and care giving for the children. He is content to have them eat dry cereal all day, every day and his interactions with the kids involves having them watch him play video games. I feel that if I do leave, even if it is only going to be for six months, they will not be properly cared for. My husband and I are on the verge of divorce over his parenting and other things - so much so that I had me and my childrens' plane tickets purchased to return to the states before the pandemic broke out.
AITA if I leave my children with their father for a short time to pursue my dreams? ###### | YTA. Not because you’re considering temporarily living away from your children for a job. That in and of itself would be a reasonable sacrifice to make to improve all your lives.
But YTA for considering leaving your children—who are far too young to even begin to care for themselves—with someone you know full well would neglect their emotional needs if not also their physical ones. ###### |
I have a 19Yo stepson and since me and my partner moved in together all he's been a nightmare. My step son is a drug dealer, he brings all sort of shady people to our house some of which are now incarcerated and he has been arrested himself. He's never had a job is his life but I still see large quantities of cash in his room as well as all the designer clothes he buys himself. He's been a bad influence on my 13yo daughter who is clearly impressed by the money he has.
Last year my daughter told me she wanted Air pods for Christmas, a present which I thought was way too expensive and not something a 12yo at the time needs to have. Last week my partner and son had to leave due to a family issue. My stepson called me to say he ordered a present for her birthday and had asked me to wrap it for him when it arrives and it was the pair Air Pods.
I already know it's paid for from his drug money and I didn't want to send my daughter the wrong message and because she's already impressed by his lifestyle and I certainly didn't want her to benefit from it as well so I just kept the gift in my room with the intention of giving it back to him when he returns.
She was already a little upset that he couldn't be there and now she currently thinks he couldn't be bothered to get her anything. Today he called me to ask if she was ok, probably wondering why he hasn't got a thanks and I explained to him that I didn't think she needed such an expensive gift when I asked how he got the money for £250 earphones he just ended the call, I haven't got the chance to speak to my partner about this yet. ###### | YTA. Not because you withhold the gift, that is ok for a 13yo. But you lied to your daughter, when she knows the truth, and she will, you will have a serious trust problem. All the negativ feelings she has, because she thinks her step-brother didn't care, will be tenfold centered on you. Also you stepson will never involve you again in his dealings with her. If you partner has a good relationship with his son, he will also be angry.
You could just have said you think it's to expensive for her, and she need to learn to save money. ###### |
So I (22F) decided to start an OnlyFans during quarantine and asked my boyfriend (22M) for his opinion. He said he would feel uncomfortable if I started one and that he didn’t want me to do it.
I asked him why and he said that he was allowed to feel uncomfortable about his girlfriend taking pics of her naked body for strangers. I told him it shouldn’t matter because he knows I love him and only him and if he feels weird about this he’s probably insecure about himself and trying to control me.
He called me an asshole and said he needed some time to himself.
AITA for defending myself about something I am legally allowed to do? ###### | YTA. No, your boyfriend doesn't get to tell you what to do with your body, but you asked for his opinion. He gave it - and he's correct that he's allowed to feel uncomfortable. Feeling uncomfortable doesn't make him an AH, it makes him human.
In response, you lashed out and insulted him in an attempt do devalue his opinion. This isn't about whether or not you're "allowed" to start an OnlyFans, it's about you responding to disrespect when your boyfriend expressed an opinion that you asked for but didn't agree with. ###### |
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