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The title probably screams NTA, but before you judge him hear my story.
I (f24) cook dinner for my boyfriend (m26) almost every night and he does the dishes, so we have a good system going. I usually try to make something that we can both enjoy, but I have one dish that I love eating and used to make a lot before we moved in together, which he doesn't like because it contains a lot of garlic.
It's been a year or so since I last made the dish and I was really craving it. So I told him I would be making it tonight even though I know he doesn't like it. I also told him that if he didn't want any he could make himself an omelet, since I don't really like them and he sometimes wants it for dinner.
However now he has announced that he is going to buy a pizza, and I don't know, I know this is such a petty thing to get annoyed over, but I can't help but feel like my cooking isn't really needed. But I did tell him that it was okay for him to make something else, but I was expecting it to be something I don't enjoy as much.
Link if anyone is curious about the dish: [https://www.bingingwithbabish.com/recipes/2017/5/4/aglioeolio](https://www.bingingwithbabish.com/recipes/2017/5/4/aglioeolio) ######
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YTA
>I can't help but feel like my cooking isn't really needed
It's needed to you because you like the dish you're making.
You know he doesn't like it and so why would you get upset he's getting something different.
How is him getting a pizza different to making an omelette? Because you like pizza? Why does he have to eat something you don't like just because you're eating something he doesn't like? ######
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Ive (25m) just recently moved in with my GF (26f) - I am black, and she is white.
Growing up my parents drummed it into me that white people using fake tan is equivalent to black face, and i thoroughly believed this until I met my GF.
For context my GF was raised by her mum, her dad died after her sister was born, and that side of the family became estranged. My GF and her sister are both white, but their biological dad is a shade of brown. She doesnt know the details of her heritage, and says its too painful to dig into family that dont care about her. I respect this, and i dont push it.
My GF is also not completely devoid of melanin, she had dark curly hair, and the reason she tans is because her skin tone is uneven. Her sister is blonde and white all over, so i often wondered why they looked so different. She let it wear off to show me once, and her stomach and back are brown, but her face and limbs are white. I still think she's beautiful, but i know she is insecure about it.
My mom is talking about us all having a holiday together next year, but honestly im terrified she will see my GFs fake tan in the bathroom or something. So i want to ask her not to do it while we're on holiday.
I want marry this girl one day, and i really want my parents to like her, and I'm so scared finding this out will make them disapprove of our relationship - and i'm scared my GF will be so hurt by my parents views she won't want to be with me. ######
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YTA
>Growing up my parents drummed it into me that white people using fake tan is equivalent to black face
Mainly your parents suck though. ######
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My girlfriend (24F) and I (35M) have been together for almost a year. She comes from a wealthy family. They own several houses and buy my gf everything she wants whenever she wants it. They’re good people, but I think they need to treat her like a woman instead of a child. I worked hard for everything I have, which isn’t much, so it frustrates me to watch her coast through life. They pay all of her bills, including putting her through medical school. All she has to pay for herself are her luxuries, so she is able to build up her savings much more than I am. Who the hell is able to save up while they’re in medical school? Well anyone can become a doctor with the endless opportunities that she has.
So yesterday my girlfriend and I got into a very heated argument. She told me her new laptop had finally come. I asked her what laptop. She said her old one broke a few days ago so she ordered a new one. She got a top of the line MacBook, way more bells and whistles than what she needs. I asked how she paid for it but I knew the answer, her parents bought it. So here’s where I might be the asshole. I was really mad knowing they probably spent 3 months of what could be someone’s rent on a computer that she *doesn’t need*. I finally just asked her if she’s embarrassed that everything she has in life has been handed to her. Naturally she got defensive and we started arguing. After a while I calmly said I think she’s a spoiled brat and her parents are doing a disservice to her. She called me a string of obscenities in return before hanging up on me. We haven’t talked since.
I get that I was harsh on her but I really don’t think I was wrong. She’s an adult who has no concept of what the real world is like. I want the best for her at the end of the day. Reddit, AITA? ######
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YTA
> Well anyone can become a doctor with the endless opportunities that she has.
No, they can't. Even without having to worry about finances, medical school is *hard fuckin' work*. Most people can't cut it.
>I was really mad knowing they probably spent 3 months of what could be someone’s rent on a computer that she *doesn’t need.*
Are you mad at yourself every time you spend enough money to feed a family in the developing world for a month on a video game you *don't need*? Or a Netflix subscription you *don't need*? Or on any other non-necessities?
You sound envious and insecure. It's not wrong for your girlfriend's parents to help her out. Nothing you mentioned would indicate that she's spoiled or a brat.
You, on the other hand, are being a mega brat. ######
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I (F38) and my husband (M42) have 3 daughters. Jessica (14), Samantha (12) and Melissa (4.5).
Both my husband and I work, my youngest attends kindergarten and my daughters are in school.
Melissa is not reaching her milestones as quickly as her sisters. She's very bright, but she's still not fully potty trained (still uses nappies at night) and has trouble sleeping.
Melissa, for the past year and a half, has not been able to fall asleep in a room on her own. We tried a night light but it didn't work. She would not sleep until she was too exhausted to stay awake any longer, and would be exhausted all day at daycare/kinder. Desperate for her to get sleep, my husband and I began staying in the room with her until she falls asleep. This can take anywhere from 45 minutes up to 1.5 hours.
At first it was just my husband and I, but about 8 months ago we started a system where we would involve our daughters, and everyone would alternate days. My daughters had commitments on Fridays and Saturdays respectively, so they would each stay on the night the other was out. This way my husband and I would have a chance to relax together occasionally after dinner.
My daughters have begun complaining that they don't want to stay in the room anymore. Because theres no armchair, and they can't make noise or read, they have to basically lay in a trundle bed next to her and pretend to sleep until Melissa falls asleep. Then they can leave.
They are complaining that this is boring and it's not their job to help Melissa sleep. I see it as like babysitting, which I never otherwise ask them to do for me.
So reddit, AITA? ######
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YTA
> theres no armchair, and they can't make noise or read, they have to basically lay in a trundle bed next to her and pretend to sleep until Melissa falls asleep.
OMG I can't imagine being forced to just lay next to someone until they fall asleep. This is not at all comparable to babysitting for this exact reason. When you babysit, you can either interact with the child or doing something on your own while they entertain themselves. Either way, there is some form of entertainment involved. ######
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To preface this debacle, my wife is 37 weeks pregnant is also very religious, but i'm not. I'm currently on a deployment as well, and have been away from her since 3rd trimester hit. On to the story.
​
My wife is a very emotional person and someone who stresses easily, being 37 weeks just multiplied this by 100 for her. Last week my wife agreed to watch our friend's dog while they go visit family, since their usual sitter was unavailable. Being already under stress from being on her own, trying to do what she can to make this pregnancy go smooth, and now a dog to watch put her on some very very thing ice. A few days go by without an issue, and then 2 or 3 days ago, the dog she watching peed all over the bed, the blanket, her pregnancy pillow and through the sheets. She was about to go to bed when she saw all this, and of course she broke down in hysteria, called me and starting crying more about how she hates the dog, how it's putting her under constant stress, how much her chest is hurting, and how she's done with everything and can't take it anymore. While trying to keep her calm and from just beating the dog, i tell her that it's just sheets, it's not a big deal they can be washed in the morning. She gets more upset by this and says how she wanted the next day to be relaxing and not do a whole lot, but now she needs to do laundry. So while she's crying and complaining to me, I say "Well, it's probably just God testing your strength and wants to see how far you go since he has a plan for you." She stopped crying, and just looked at me confused processing what I just said. Then when she processed it, she started blowing up on me, calling a dick, an asshole, 'inconsiderate goddamn motherfucking jackass who doesn't care about anyone on this planet,' and more. So I don't get it, cuz she always says about how God has a plan for everyone and how he tests people to see if they're worthy of going to heaven or not. So, AITA for this or not? ######
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YTA
> I say "Well, it's probably just God testing your strength and wants to see how far you go since he has a plan for you."
Even if you meant it genuinely (and I question that, I can absolutely see it being a passive aggressive comment) then how is that in any way helpful? No matter what she was going to have to handle all of the mess, all she needed from you was some commiseration. She is heavily pregnant and alone. And you made a shitty moment shittier. ######
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My daughter is 23, mother of two, she’s been driving for a little over a year now.
My daughter loves to speed, her driving honestly terrifies me and I can’t stand being in the car with her despite her claims she drives the speed limit.
Tuesday morning she phoned me, sobbing, claiming a car cut her off and her car is absolutely wrecked as in she can’t go anywhere with it, she needs that for work.
I calmed her down and talked her through it and eventually she calmed down, jokingly I said “Were you speeding again? Maybe now you won’t be a dick on the road again?”
She’s completely healthy, I don’t know about the other car but I assume so.
The kids ( 4 & 6) were at school so they weren’t in the car.
She went off on one about how she drives the limit and she’s shaken basically saying how the fuck dare I.
I told her the truth, she doesn’t like it? Drive better.
She now isn’t talking to me and my wife scolded me for laughing at our traumatised daughter, I didn’t laugh and I wouldn’t have had I not known she was okay.
If facts hurt then it says a lot.
AITA?
Debated on posting this. ######
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YTA
​
When i first read this you i was gonna say ESH as you said it at the wrong time, and she was speeding.
​
However after reading through your comments, she was NOT speeding and she got cut off by a crappy driver, so you saying that after she just survived a serious accident was rude but also not relevant. If you want to talk to her about her speeding then talk about it NOT immediately after a crisis. YTA ######
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I (17m) live with my mom and my little brother (12m). My mom, right before we all got stuck inside, went and bought my brother a bunch of books in this series about cats. I think it’s called Warriors or Survivors, I don’t really know. My brother’s been reading them cover to cover since he got them.
Yesterday I was playing games in he living room, and my brother was sitting next to me reading. I saw the cover (it had this derpy ass cat on the cover) and laughed. I asked him what the book was about, he told me it was about these two cat groups fighting and his favorite character died. He was really upset. I told him that it was just a cat, and that he shouldn’t be so upset.
He got kinda mad at me and told me to shut up, and I also got kinda mad because of that. I told him his books were stupid and that no normal person would read about “fucking kitty cats.” I also asked if he wanted to be a cat.
My brother went and told my mom about it, and I got in a huge amount of trouble for “bullying” my brother. I wasn’t bullying him, I was just telling him my opinion on the books. Apparently he’d been crying because his face was red, and I told him and my mom that he was too sensitive for his own good. My mom told me not to be a dick, and I got my console taken away, and sent to my room. I also have to apologize to my brother, but I don’t think I should.
AITA for “bullying” my brother? ######
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YTA
​
>I was just telling him my opinion on the books.
>
>and his favorite character died. He was really upset.
>
>no normal person would read about "fucking kitty cats"
you were calling him abnormal, called what he was reading stupid, and asked if he wanted to be a cat because he was reading something about warrior cats, my guy, you should apologize to him ######
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Obligatory user on mobile warning:
So I have an anxiety and this rule stems from it.
I only have two rules: be open and honest/don't lie to me
And Don't share bodily fluids
I do not want my boyfriend sharing fluids with anyone, as in, no sharing drinks, cigarettes, food etc
It's been three rule I've had since before I met him 3years ago.
We got in a big fight tonight because he doesn't see what the big deal is, refuses to apologise and wants me not to get mad at him when he chooses to do it occasionally "because it's only 1% of the time that I do it out of the 99% of the times I could do it/would do it before I met you"
He was trying to talk to me calmly and asking if I could please just get over it- I've explained why it's so important to me and I just want to be respected on it so I refused to "just get over it"
AITA for getting mad at bf when he ignores a rule occasionally because he doesn't agree with it and thinks is silly? ######
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YTA
Your boyfriend is right. That’s a ridiculous rule.
I mean... right now under the whole global pandemic thing it’s perfectly reasonable to not want him sharing saliva in any form because of the pandemic.
But in normal times, it simply isn’t a big deal.
And your anxiety doesn’t give you the right to police the behavior of others. Normally I would argue that it wouldn’t be difficult for your bf to follow this rule around you at least but your post clearly indicts that’s not good enough, which is where you become unreasonable.
And to be clear, this has nothing to do with whether or not he respects you. He can respect you and not follow an over the top rule that stems from your issues, not his.
Not respecting you would be him deliberately going out of his way to share fluids with others around you, which doesn’t seem to be the case.
I’m sure some will say everyone sucks because of his get over it comment, which isn’t ideal. But at a certain point, you DO simply need to get over it. It’s not EASY, but it is simple. ######
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I have lived in the same neighborhood for a few years. It's pretty Vanilla here. Recently, someone bought the house across the street. They seem nice enough. I have had no problems with them at all. Another neighbor came by recently and asked me if I had noticed the star. I hadn't. When they moved in, they had turned a mounted star (that was already there when they moved in) upside down. I guess it's a pentagram that way. I do not see them performing any satanic rituals, it's just weird. Then the same neighbor asked if I had noticed the clowns, and I hadn't. I looked closer and noticed there was a silhouette in the window but couldn't make it out. I walked over and looked, and it was a killer clown with an evil face with splattered blood on it. Again, I haven't seen anything happen over there. I feel like these are just some folks wanting to appear Cool by doing something edgy. I really don't know. I DO know that my kids are now afraid of the clown in the window that is always facing us. Would I be the asshole if I went over there and asked them to take the clown out of the window because it is scaring my kids? ######
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YTA
This is a good time to teach your kids not run around the neighborhood looking into people's houses. I bet your neighbors won't have a bunch of other people's kids riding bikes in their driveway or screaming in front of their house. ######
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Using an old throwaway for this. My sister is pregnant and announced the name of her baby on Facebook. She told our family group chat the gender but didn't mention anything about his name.
The problem is that it is the same name of my ex boyfriend who I dated for 4 years. We ended on pretty bad terms and my family saw the worst of it. I called my sister and confronted her about the name. She said it was on her list before I even started dating my ex, and that I should be over him by now.
That's when I started yelling at her and called her a bitch. Typically when we fight, it gets really nasty - the longest fight we had was a month. She then said i am no longer going to be her sons godmother and to not contact her anymore until she gives birth (she is only five months along)
I genuinely think that if she cared about me, she would ask how i felt before announcing it on Facebook. Its not so much the name reminding me of my ex, but the fact that she didn't even ask me beforehand. BTW the name is not very common (a cultural name) so she clearly knew how i would react
So, AITA for overreacting? I know this situation sounds petty but i just don't understand how I can be in the wrong for this. ######
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YTA
Mostly, because my wife's sister pulled almost the exact same sh!t when we were having our daughter. Eventhough, we had had picked out this name years earlier, we had to change it because my SIL had a conniption fit. My daughter is 13, and I'm still irritated about it. I'm glad your sister is standing her ground.
Yeah, it sucks that things ended badly, but you act like the world should retire that name forever? ######
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My husband and I just bought a house. It has a big extra room with its own bathroom. I told my sister that she could move into it, since she could use a leg up. When I mentioned this to my husband (btw it’s something we’ve discussed before) he said that he wanted to move his sister into it, because she needs a place closer to work. I don’t like his sister and plus I already told my sister that she would be moving in, so I said that it was sort of a done deal and I’d already discussed this before with him. He said very snidely, “well, at least my sister can actually pay for rent and food.” Which I kind of resent. He implied that since he paid for the down payment that he can make the final decision, as if this isn’t our house and our marriage and our life. AITA? ######
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YTA
>I told my sister that she could move into it
>I mentioned this to my husband
>I don’t like his sister
>I already told my sister that she would be moving in
>I said that it was sort of a done deal
>as if this isn’t our house and our marriage and our life.
I don't even need to use MY words ######
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My niece usually hang around me when I play video games or watch movies on my computer. Recently I decided to quit smoking so I had a small bowl filled with chewing gums, candies, etc. on my desk. Whenever I felt the urge to smoke I would just grab em.
My niece also enjoys them and I never mind at all.
Today my candy stock was gone and I was planning to refill them in the evening. My niece arrived to watch me play video games and she hand a handful of candies which she got from my Mum. I asked her for a candy and she flatly refused, so I told her, "Go away, I don't want to hang out with a miser". I admit I didn't really meant what I said to her but I was also annoyed. She left and I immediately regret that I told her off. She's just acting like a child after all but I think she's still angry at me during dinner.
AITA? ######
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YTA
"She's just acting like a child", dude, SHE IS A CHILD, she's six. You're the adult, you need to apologize and take responsibility for your actions. She doesn't understand that you quit smoking or what it does to you in terms of mood and you took her anger our on her. ######
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I (20M) live with my large family, and I'm stuck with all of them thanks to the ongoing situation. It's been a tough month, and my mother (47F) has been looking for ways to make money.
She's had some credit card debt. Nothing major, but because her businesses' incomes have dried up, she hasn't had any way to pay her debts off. She's begun making hand sanitizers and face masks to generate some extra income, but she's always on the lookout for more cash to support the family.
A few months ago, she asked me if she could sell my old bike. I agreed, since I don't use it much anymore and it's just rusting in a corner of our storage. It took a while, but today, she was finally able to sell it, as well as my dad's bike.
I helped her to cart it out front and wiped it down before the buyer pulled up and paid for it. After the guy drove off and we went inside, I asked her for my share. She was bemused at first, and asked me who was the one who sold it in the first place. I said it was her, but it is still my bike and my property. She said she'd give me half. I disagreed, and asked her for the full amount as I also need money since I'm saving to move out sooner than later. I didn't mention the moving out part. That's a sore subject for her. She got upset and started ranting about how unreasonable I'm being and how the money would benefit me anyway once she pays off her debt and how she feeds and houses me and how she bought the bike for me as a gift anyway (6-7 years ago) and how I just horde my money (I don't, it's called savings). I sat silently while she went on for about 5-10 minutes and then she stormed off, got the cash and gave it to me, and is now giving me the cold shoulder. She gave me the full amount for my bike.
My family is making me feel bad for asking for the money, and I even tried to give her a portion, but she refuses to take it. AITA? ######
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YTA
" she's always on the lookout for more cash to support the family. "
" how she feeds and houses me "
"rusting in a corner of our storage"
What are YOU doing to help support the current housing and food situation? I mean seriously I get that you don't like it where you are and want to move out... but you're still there, a grown man, shoveling food other people pay for into your gob, using the electricity, taking up space in the storage unit and generally being part of the overcrowding situation in a house other people are paying for. ######
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This is kind of confusing and hard to understand without knowing the layout of our house.
Last night at around 9:00pm, my girlfriend (22) and I (26) had a big fight. She decided to go on a walk and left me with our 1 year old. Before leaving she asked me to stay awake so I could let her in the house when she got back.
My girlfriend is notorious for getting carried away and going on **super** long walks. My daughter started having a screaming fit and by the time she settled down it was 10:00pm and my girlfriend still wasn't back. I was super tired and decided to shower and go to bed. When I got out of the shower it was 10:30 and she *still* wasn't back.
I was watching tv downstairs, about to go to our room to lay down at around 11:00 when I heard the doorbell ring which meant my girlfriend was home. I was tired and still upset with her so I decided not to go open it and just go to upstairs to our room. We have a spare key hidden in the side-yard, which my girlfriend knows about. I assumed that she would be able to find it and if she couldn't, she would call. I completely knocked out so I guess I didn't hear her ringing the doorbell again.
I found out later that her phone had died so she couldn't call me nor could she use her flashlight to find the key meaning she was completely locked out and had to sleep in her car. She said this triggered her first panic attack in 4 years. She knows I heard the first doorbell ring because she saw the lights turn off inside. It was kind of cold outside too so it would've been way worse if the car wasn't unlocked.
I woke up at like 4 am and realised she wasn't in bed but I just assumed she was on the couch or something.
Obviously, if I had known her phone was dead I would've unlocked the door. It was a complete accident but she's not hearing any of it. Am I the asshole? ######
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YTA
*ohmygod*
You heard the doorbell and knew it was her
You couldn't be that lazy that you couldn't unlock the door. You also triggered a panic attack which hasn't happened in 4 years
How could you not be TA?? ######
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When I was zoomin with the boys a little bit ago and we were all adding funny backgrounds. I decided to step it up a notch an found an ISIS flag image that worked as zoom background (it’s harder than you think). Well it was a hit with the boys so I kept it on there.
Well today my fiancée joined a zoom using the IPAD for her aunt’s birthday so there were family members on there too. Well the ISIS flag background showed up automatically. She backed out quickly realizing it was up as she knew beforehand that background was on there. But she’s still a little upset that it was on there. I shared this with the Boys and they think it’s funny, and I do too (it’s a good bit).
So am I the asshole or should she lighten up? ######
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YTA
it's the fact that it's a shared device and what's fine as a joke between your friends may not be the same for her and anyone else she video chats with while using it. ######
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To be clear I dont intend to pick up the phone and just start complaining to him about her. The issue is that he and my MIL think I'm a bad provider for my family because we frequently have money troubles. My wife however ...likes to spend money, as in last year in 7 months she spent 18000 dollars out of budget that I can confirm. So when we fall on hard times (because i can't keep money in savings) she borrows money from her father who is trying to retire and it isn't fair to him. She does this without telling me until after.
I don't really want to cause problems with her and her parents but at this point maybe it'll help her and us if she has to accept responsibility and not just "listen to me overreact"
Additional info: she doesn't work and by my estimate in 8 years she over spent about ...170k-280k dollars. ######
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YTA/ESH. You need to sit your wife down and get her spending under control, not tattle to her father. ######
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So I (16M) once last year found my English teacher(23F) on tinder and she had some freaky bio, I ignored it and went on with my life.
Then at the beginning of this year, she kinda got upset with me and told me to leave the class (in a very rude manner just a step away from cussing)
So being dumb me I told her if she “wasted less time on tinder looking for hookup like sluts, maybe she would teach better” and then I pointed out to something on her tinder profile.
she was so embarrassed she had to dismiss class because everyone was being a dick and laughing and making jokes about it in front of her.
I was expelled for 3 days.
Thing is up until the pandemic stopping schools, whenever she entered a class everyone indirectly said disrespectful stuff about her and joked and during a 45 minute class, she spent like 20 minuets holding back tears and not showing her embarrassment.
Needless to say I felt like shit, I went up to her and apologized, she seemed very hurt and passive and told me “it’s fine but I want you to know you ruined my career at this school, and put me through therapy and antidepressants after I finally beat it 2 years ago, but I forgive you”.
I was crushed, then the pandemic came about and haven’t heard about her ever since as we had a new English teacher for our zoom meetings.
AITA reddit? And if so how can I fix it? ######
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YTA.
You can’t undo the damage now unfortunately ######
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I just met my neighbor yesterday officially and we’re talking and we brought up handwriting. I said schools need to stop teaching cursive because it’s beyond outdated and useless. She got offended because she is a graphologist(someone who studies hand writing) she also wrote her dissertation on it. I told her we’re in a digital age and, need to teach typing. She just brought up emotional points like how beautiful it is to write in cursive. “It’s an essential form of communication”. I asked her how is cursive going to help someone get a job. Most of the words we read today is on a screen. After a while I got frustrated. I said,”just because you studied a useless topic doesn’t mean we should keep living in the past”. Her only argument is that I didn’t graduate. I told her my job is actually important(programmer). “There is a reason why I get paid good and my job is in demand”. She stormed off afterwards. AITA ######
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YTA.
You can disagree and not insult someone. Maybe apologize and say simply that you disagree but respect her choice to study a topic of interest to her...no need to be rude because you have different points of view. ######
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About a month ago a stray cat showed up on my doorstep. She had no identification or microchip. I took her in, fed her, named her Bertha, but I was also actively looking for her owners. I don't have the ability to permanently take care of another pet, but I wanted to do the right thing and make sure she had the best chance of having a good life.
Eventually I found the owner and returned the cat. I missed Bertha but was glad she was back with her owner.
Well Bertha has been back at my door every day since then, meowing for hours until I let her back in. I contacted the owner again and asked her to keep the cat inside. The owner responded that her husband died about a month ago, she's trying to take of her 3 kids during this lockdown, and that Bertha is an indoor outdoor cat. I understand that this must be a hard time for the owner, and I'm giving them slack for not knowing the cat was missing for a month, but at this point they're neglecting her to the point that she doesnt want to go back to them. She's also been reported at all my other neighbor's houses too.
AITA for coming to the conclusion that I have to send the cat to a shelter? I would never want to hurt her, but she's being neglected, and she could possibly be a transmitter of the coronavirus if shes bouncing from house to house all over our neighborhood. ######
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YTA.
First, of course the cat came back. You fed her.
Second, you can't take another person's pet and give to a shelter. How do you even get this idea?
You can contact animal protection services and they can come and see if the cat is really neglected, which maybe isn't even the case as cats like to roam around and beg for as much food as they can even when they're properly fed at home. ######
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I can't believe this trivial issue has exploded into a huge right but here goes. I've been cooking at home almost every meal for the last month. Cooking makes a lot of dishes. I have told my boyfriend several times that he needs to do the dishes since I'm coming the food. Ordering out isn't an option and we need to eat so he needs to share the burden even though he can't cook.
Well earlier today I actually saw my boyfriend doing the dishes after I made lunch. Instinctively I thanked him for doing the dishes but then I remembered that is his responsibility and reminded him of how unfair it was to me for him not to do the dishes every day. I told him I take back my thanks and he should be doing more without me asking.
My boyfriend is now very upset at me and insists that I need to stop "nagging" (typical...) him while he's doing housework but if he was doing it regularly from the start I wouldn't have had to say anything. Am the asshole? ######
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YTA.
At first I was on your side when I saw the title. However, after reading the post and seeing your whole "taking back my thank you", you're seriously TA.
While you don't NEED to thank someone for doing their task, telling them you appreciate it and then pulling what you did is totally immature and I can only imagine how your boyfriend must have felt when you said that. ######
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So my fiancée hates her parents. They were awful people who ended up getting her kicked out of a prestigious university by having her arrested (charges were dropped but the university still wouldn't accept her readmission).
I don't think they're good people but they've recently been trying to make amends but my fiancée won't answer the phone or agree to visit them and they don't want to show up unannounced.
So I've been taking the calls and trying not to completely burn that bridge. Her parents have money and they seem to genuinely want to make amends. They're willing to take culpability and try and let the past be the past.
Me being the eternal softy that I am tries to see the best in everyone so I'm a little biased but it's not like they just want to say they've changed. They've made consistent effort to reach out and apologise and are understanding of why she won't answer their calls.
Anyways our daughter (12) was recently diagnosed with leukemia and we have a lot of medical bills piling up along with student debt and the mortgage. Couple all of that with us both being out of work and not getting enough from unemployment to pay for half of our bills even it's been a difficult time.
So I went to her parents and told them we could use their help. They told me not to worry about a dime and are paying for all of our daughters medical care and have sent us food from one of those meal service plans.
I decided to tell my fiancée that I went to her parents for the help and she freaked out. She wanted me to decline the help! I told her I couldn't do that and if she wanted to tell her parents to stop helping us she had to do that herself because I wouldn't.
I've never seen her more pissed off before in her life and we've been together for 14 years. AITA? ######
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YTA.
Your wife knows her parents have money. She didn't ask them for it because that money comes with strings attached: giving the people who abused her access to her and her child. For her, that risk isn't worth it because it endangers everything, and so she holds them at a distance.
You just sold the security of that separation out from under her. ######
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Disclaimer: This happened last February. My colleagues have been giving me shit for it ever since.
I am a High School English teacher. Last February, I was teaching mythology. During the test on the subject matter, I caught a student peeking off another student's paper. I took the test from him and he got an automatic "0."
After I taught mythology, we moved on to *The Catcher in the Rye*. I decided to give the class an extra incentive, and for voluntary extra credit, have them write an essay on why *The 39 Steps* was Phoebe's favorite movie.
I saw said cheating student writing the assignment in his planner, to which I tell him "you are ineligible for this assignment."
He confronted me after class for telling him that he was ineligible for the assignment for two reasons:
1. He felt that because he got a "0" on an exam, he "needs the extra credit more than the other students."
2. He did not take kindly to me "humiliating" him in front of the whole class.
I was speaking to other teachers and my department head on the matter, and they thought I was in the wrong. I'm sorry, but if I allow him to take extra credit after he cheated on my exam, that would be giving the whole class the idea that it's ok to cheat on my exams, when it's not. My colleagues thought the "0" was "punishment enough" for cheating and that I didn't have to bar him from extra credit.
Sorry, but I disagree. I'm just trying to prepare him for the real world, especially university, where if he cheats in university, he could be expelled. In the real world, crimes and punishments are very rarely 1:1. ######
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YTA.
Your initial reaction was appropriate.
Your second punishment was vindictive. You did this because you wanted to further punish the student, not for any legitimate reason. That is mean, unfair, and inappropriate.
What kind of lesson does this teach this student? That someone with authority can use that authority in any way they want, for any reason. That is a horrible lesson you have just taught that student. ######
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When I was 18 I got pregnant with my boyfriend at the time. He really pushed for an abortion but I had extremely strict parents who were against it, so I had her. She’s now 13, beautiful and very popular. Her father isn’t in her life. I love her, it’s a given I love her, she’s my daughter.
I’ve never been an overly affectionate person, cuddling and verbally showing my daughter affection just isn’t something I feel comfortable doing, and I didn’t think it was much of an issue to her.
Last night at the dinner table, we somehow got onto the topic of affection. She opened up and told me that she was jealous of her friends families who were open with love and displayed lots of affection. She said she wanted to discuss the potential of telling each other we love each other and hugging and stuff. I told her that I don’t feel the need to tell her I love her, and that she should just know that I do because I’m her mom.
She got upset and went upstairs to her room, and I heard her on the phone to her best friend saying that she feels like I don’t love her. I talked to my parents about it and they told me an I’m asshole for not having at least a conversation with her about it. AITA? ######
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YTA.
Your daughter needs you to say three words to her, and give her an occasional hug. ######
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I know I’m sorta in the wrong for making the bet in the first place, but let’s see.
My sister-in-law-to-be announced that she was pregnant two months ago. I was really suspicious about this. I’ve heard rumors of her faking a pregnancy before. Again, I didn’t blurt it out, but that’s what I thought. The timing was too perfect.
I told this to my brother, and we did make a bet. $100 to the person who was right.
It turns out that I was right. She admitted that she had faked her pregnancy, after multiple holes in her plan were exposed.
Their relationship is a bit rocky now, me thinks. So, should I ask him for a hundred bucks?
WIBTA? ######
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YTA.
Your brother probably had really high hopes that he was gonna be a father and betted on it because he had a glimpse of hope that he was going to start his family. Not only did his dreams get crushed but he also realized his wife isn't in the greatest of mental states.
Don't ask him for the money. ######
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My husband and I just bought a house. It has a big extra room with its own bathroom. I told my sister that she could move into it, since she could use a leg up. When I mentioned this to my husband (btw it’s something we’ve discussed before) he said that he wanted to move his sister into it, because she needs a place closer to work. I don’t like his sister and plus I already told my sister that she would be moving in, so I said that it was sort of a done deal and I’d already discussed this before with him. He said very snidely, “well, at least my sister can actually pay for rent and food.” Which I kind of resent. He implied that since he paid for the down payment that he can make the final decision, as if this isn’t our house and our marriage and our life. AITA? ######
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YTA.
You’re mainly the asshole because you are hiding critical details in comments that you omitted from the original post.
Specifically:
1. The previous discussion was for an entirely different house that you did not buy. *That* discussion is not the same as agreeing for *this* house.
2. Your sister is disabled and unable to work. Therefore, you wouldn’t be helping her “get a leg up” (paraphrasing) as you said. That term insinuates it would be a short-term situation. You would actually be adding a long-term dependent, as evidenced by another comment about having your sister in the house while your future children grow up.
3. You’re also already planning to get a dang DOG for this sister, too!
Look, your husband was a jerk, but you absolutely crafted your post seeking validation rather than an objective judgement. ######
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I can’t believe I have to post this but this is getting out of control. Hopefully once I show him that 20+ people disagree with him he will apologize and understand that kids are kids and they will obviously make mistakes.
Yesterday, I went with my 2 children (lets call them Tom\[9M\] and Elise\[8F\]) to my brothers house. I haven’t seen him for a while so I decided to surprise him and come without announcing him. He opened the door and was so happy to see me. We entered and the kids went running to the iPad (we don’t have a tablet at home so they were really excited to get to play with it again) while I went with my brother in the living room. Tom and Elise started arguing because they didn’t want to play the same game. They started taking the iPad from each other hands which caused it to fall on the floor and crack. The crack was honestly not that bad and the tablet is still working fine. He however got mad at my children, started SCREAMING at them, and wants me to pay for his broken iPad. It’s really costly and I in no way can afford to fix it especially as a single mother. I told him ”They are kids, kids always do silly things. But you need to remember that they are children and there is no reason to get mad at them. Forgive them for what they did. Your iPad is still working fine.” I honestly got so disappointed in him that I straight up left with my kids. I told my parents and friends what happened and they are taking my side on this. He shouldn’t have screamed at my children and shouldn’t make me pay for it. The worst part is when he texted me that he is going to sue me if I refuse to repair his tablet. Hopefully showing him this post will change his mind because my parents couldn’t. ######
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YTA.
You’re kidding, right? While I don’t agree with your brother screaming, you **absolutely** owe your brother a repair or a replacement iPad. YOUR children broke his tablet while under YOUR supervision. It doesn’t get much more cut and dry than this. ######
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My girlfriend bought an outfit online. It’s a tube top and a short skirt. The tube top just covers her boobs and the skirt is short enough to where her ass hangs out. I think it’s really hot, but I told her I didn’t feel comfortable for her wearing it in public because I felt like it was too revealing. She told me she didn’t feel that way but she also just bought the outfit. I told her that I should have at least a small say in what she wears out in public because we’ve been dating for over a year but she thinks I’m trying to be controlling. Am I the asshole here? ######
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YTA.
You wouldn't be TA if you said you don't like it and left it like that but you became TA when you said you have a say in what she wears because you guys been together for a while. She wears what she likes, you wear what you like. ######
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I (F38) and my husband (M42) have 3 daughters. Jessica (14), Samantha (12) and Melissa (4.5).
Both my husband and I work, my youngest attends kindergarten and my daughters are in school.
Melissa is not reaching her milestones as quickly as her sisters. She's very bright, but she's still not fully potty trained (still uses nappies at night) and has trouble sleeping.
Melissa, for the past year and a half, has not been able to fall asleep in a room on her own. We tried a night light but it didn't work. She would not sleep until she was too exhausted to stay awake any longer, and would be exhausted all day at daycare/kinder. Desperate for her to get sleep, my husband and I began staying in the room with her until she falls asleep. This can take anywhere from 45 minutes up to 1.5 hours.
At first it was just my husband and I, but about 8 months ago we started a system where we would involve our daughters, and everyone would alternate days. My daughters had commitments on Fridays and Saturdays respectively, so they would each stay on the night the other was out. This way my husband and I would have a chance to relax together occasionally after dinner.
My daughters have begun complaining that they don't want to stay in the room anymore. Because theres no armchair, and they can't make noise or read, they have to basically lay in a trundle bed next to her and pretend to sleep until Melissa falls asleep. Then they can leave.
They are complaining that this is boring and it's not their job to help Melissa sleep. I see it as like babysitting, which I never otherwise ask them to do for me.
So reddit, AITA? ######
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YTA.
You need to speak to y our daughter's pediatrician about her sleep issues.
But on top of that, it is *hugely* damaging to expect your other kids to help you parent. While this wouldn't be an issue once in a while, you cannot ask your daughters to routinely be involved in this. ######
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I (17m) will be moving out soon to go to uni. My sister (12) has made jokes about how she can't wait for me to move out so she can have my room, which is substantially bigger than hers. I said she couldn't have it as I plan to stay with my family a lot and don't want to be kicked out of the room I grew up in. When I said this my mum got angry and said it was selfish but my dads on my side.
I wouldn't mind if they moved house and then I got the smaller room but I don't think it's fair to get kicked out of the room I grew up in when I plan to stay with them a lot.
AITA? ######
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YTA.
You don't own this room. They do.
If they want to give it to your lil sis they can and should.
You've got no claim to this ######
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Ok, so I have a few different properties just all over the place, most of them are empty or I rent them out for next to nothing (I’m not big on the idea of making money being a landlord). Anyway, I had a girlfriend for a short time, and things didn’t work out but I said she could live in an apartment I own for as long as she wants and all she had to do was pay the bills, as she was going through a tough time. So that’s been the case for some time now. Recently I met a man who’s been really affected by the pandemic, and is on the verge of being homeless, whereas my ex gf is making decent money now and doesn’t necessarily need the place. So I told her she has a month to move out, as I’ll be moving in this guy. Some may say, why not offer him another one of my properties to stay or something. Well this apartment happens to be the only one in the state, my other ones are either overseas or out of state (I use them for holiday purposes not rental purposes it’d be redundant to own a bunch of properties in the same area).
My ex says this is unfair of me to do during this time, and that I promised she could stay as long as she liked. Whilst I do feel guilty I ultimately think I made the right decision. ######
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Yta.
You cant evict people in a pandemic. Straight up ta legally and morally. Also housing an ex girlfriend and saying stay as long as you want. Your an idiot. You don't make that promise to someone then renegade and expect it to go well. You should have given a time frame rent free then moved to a contract. The proper way to do this would be to keep her where she is, make her pay rent, then show charity to this other dude and pay for him to stay somewhere with her rent money.
I think you mean well, but at the same time your an ass. ######
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I've \[M29\] known this person \[F32\] since 2004. That would make me 14. We live in different countries, so our friendship has been always via technology. Back at 2004 even the most basic webcam was a luxury and only few had it. Now it's 2020 and videocalls and streaming is within the reach of almost everyone, and hence you can include your loved ones in almost everything, now doubly so in times of corona where nobody can get out of their homes.
She got married last year to her long time partner. Had a long list of local only guests. I asked her if I was invited, if I could be, via anything from a private videocall or maybe something like an Instagram live that only those in CLOSE FRIENDS category could see. I mean, I had known her for what's basically half my entire lifespan.
I was told no. There would be no streaming of the wedding, but there would be pictures I could watch.
I was furious at hearing that. Sure it's her wedding and she's free to choose whatever. But in a world where you can have zoom, Discord, Facebook, Google Meet calls for everything, and for a while I attended nonprofit meetings via videocall because they cared about my presence there, to basically shut out all the options I could be there with, made me feel like a second-class friendship.
I have not spoken one word to her since, for any reason. I have made so many friends via technology, that for me it's a NO BRAINER to include them in a hugely important event in my life, and as such I'd do EVERYTHING I could to accomodate their presence via technology JUST as much as I would local ones.
Her, however? She can have pictures. ######
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YTA.
You are not entitled to an invite in the first place.
You are not entitled for someone to change their wedding and set-up webcams.
Just because she's friends with you, doesn't mean you are entitled to her day. Not even family are entitled to her day.
If this causes you to shun her and think of yourself in a "second-class friendship" then you're not a very good nor understanding friend.
While you may include them in your big day, they don't owe you the same for theirs.
>Sure it's her wedding and she's free to choose whatever.
Exactly.
Congratulate her and move on. ######
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So let me give you some background. My (49M) daughter (19F) came out to me a couple of months ago as bisexual and, I was very supportive of her. I made sure to tell her that i loved her no matter what, The other day, though, she put a post on Facebook telling everyone! I told her that I wished that she would have told me that she was going to do that first, because I would have wanted to let some close friends family members (e.g. her grandparents. Aunts/uncles.)know ahead of time so they wouldn't just find out that very big news while they just scroll through Facebook. The next day, after I had time to gather my thoughts, I sent her a message saying how I was hurt that she didn't give me the consideration of even letting me know before she did this and it was one of the worst things that has ever been done to me. I told her that her childhood friend, G, who has a genetic disorder and is not able to fully comprehend that, had to be woken up by her mom to be told instead of just finding out while she scrolls through Facebook. My wife agrees with me, but my daughter says that I don't have a say about how she does this, even though it affects me. Am I in the wrong here? ######
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YTA.
Why does she need to warn you before telling everyone, again? If she wants her grandparents/aunts/uncles to know ahead of time, she can tell them herself. You're not her agent, or her press manager. You don't get to dictate how she disseminates this information, and to whom, and in what order.
> it was one of the worst things that has ever been done to me
What?
> I told her that her childhood friend, G, who has a genetic disorder and is not able to fully comprehend that, had to be woken up by her mom to be told instead of just finding out while she scrolls through Facebook.
Huh? ######
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So my boyfriend was abused as a child and he has a big fear of putting his face near sinks because his mom used to semi drown him as punishment by putting his head under the kitchen sink. I’m a big believer of washing your face twice a day and while he does wash it in the shower, that means he only washes his face once per day and he breaks out often because of it. I told him today that he has to start washing his face in the sink and that he can just splash water on it to make it easier. He rejected and said he wouldn’t do it at all. I told him that I wouldn’t be going to get groceries with him if he didn’t because I think his fear needs to be dealt with once and for all because Im sure we’re both tired of it. He got really upset and told me to leave for a bit and so I did. He was really rude about it and it hurt. I told my sister and she said I’m the asshole in this but I genuinely did it out of love and want for him to get over his fears. Aita? ######
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YTA.
Unless you’re a fully certified therapist, it’s not your job to use exposure therapy to try to help your BF get over his issues.
More so: why the fuck do you care that he’s only washing his face once a day in the shower? Why do you think you’re right about needing to wash it twice a day? ######
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We've been married for close to 10 years now (I'm 37M and she is 35F). We have two beautiful and amazing boys (7M and 9M).
In spite of this, something has been up with my wife lately. She's been acting very melancholy and distant. Just prior to getting married, there was a pregnancy scare. Honestly I was terrified... I really didn't want a child at that point just yet. I would be ready a year later, but not quite at that stage.
I told her my view, that ideally I'd like her to get an abortion but its ultimately up to her. I spent a lot of time praying that she would get an abortion and come to her senses. Thankfully she decided that she wanted to abort. And then we had our boys soon after.
Now she came forward to me and said she is feeling emotional about that time. I just didn't understand. Why is she bringing up this stuff from the past? Doesn't she care about our two boys? I told her that "I'm very glad that you had that abortion. It was the best thing to happen to me, and now we have our boys. They're our priority. Not what could have been, that's all not real".
This angered her and she stormed off. Since then she confronted me and called me an asshole and dickhead. I said that while I understand she is upset, its unfair to our boys. They're actually real children, whereas her abortion was obviously unborn, she needs to accept this. Our boys are our priority. Idk I am conflicted now AITA? ######
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YTA.
To be clear, you're entitled to feel happy about the fact that your wife had an abortion. And there is a respectful way for you to express your feelings as part of a back and forth conversation.
What struck me about the description you provided is that it is centered in your own experience with no apparent regard for your wife's experience. Just like you are entitled to feel happy that she had an abortion, she is entitled to feel grief, regret, or whatever else that she feels. Just because the abortion was 10+ years ago does not mean she is not entitled to feel those things. And there are any number of reasons that she may be feeling her current feelings now, a decade later. Ideally, a partner would be open to learning more about her current struggle with this and provide empathy.
It should go without saying: your wife's feelings about having an abortion in no way affect her ability to be a parent to the two children you have now. She can both feel whatever feels genuine to her about the abortion and be a fantastic parent to the kids.
Finally, you say that "I told her...I'd like her to get an abortion, but it's ultimately up to her." There is a place for the would-be father to share his feelings about having a child and about abortion when there is an unplanned pregnancy, and you correctly recognize that the choice was not yours to make. But based on your description of her decision to have the abortion as "com[ing] to her senses," I can't help but wonder if she felt pressured into having the abortion. It very well might not be the case. But if so, it may be an underlying part of her struggle with this right now. ######
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On march 10th my son got expelled from school. I wont get into detail about what happened but he gave his friend a knife. He got expelled from regular school for 1 year and got sent to an academy. I gave him a choice, If he went to the academy for the rest of the year i would let him do online/homeschool for his next year classes.
He agreed and went for 2 weeks but when he left for spring break he did not return because of coronavirus. Now today I get his report card in the mail saying he passed. He asks me if we where going to homeschool him, I told him no because of coronavirus and him not finishing the school year at the academy. He got mad and said he’s not going to talk to me anymore. How do I make him understand that my actions are justified? AITA? ######
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YTA.
This was out of his control. He did everything right. You're teaching him that your authority is capricious and inconsistent. ######
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I don’t mind that my girlfriend hasn’t shaved her legs in a few months, because we’ve just been home together, and she has always worked from home so shaving her legs really only happens when we’re going out somewhere nice and she’s wearing a dress and doesn’t want to wear tights or if we’re having a beach trip.
Well since we’re not comfortable going out, it’s been a lot longer since she’s last shaved and her leg hair is getting a little long. Every night she rubs her legs against mine and it just feels weird, and sometimes itchy on my own legs and makes it hard to sleep.
I told her I didn’t care if she shaved or not but if she could put pants on before bed so I could sleep better. She laughed at me thinking I was joking but when she realized I was serious she got pretty annoyed with me and said she isn’t putting pants on when my “hairy legs rub up against her all night”.
I thought I asked for a pretty reasonable request. ######
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YTA.
This is a "you" problem.
Bodies grow hair, we don't choose to.
Your girlfriend gets to choose if she wants to shave her legs.
If you don't shave yours, I also want to point out your legs will itch hers too, but clearly you haven't worn anything to cover them.
If you don't like it, then you get to cover your legs. If you don't want to, then you don't get to dictate what she does because this is your issue, not hers. ######
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My friend just gave birth, and I offered to help out around the house during the day to help lighten her load. She asked me if I could come over and do some dishes- of course I said yes!
When I pull up, I see her husband’s car in the driveway. I text her and ask if she’s home. She says yes.
I turn my ass around and go home. Her husband was home all day and she still asked me to do dishes. Why could he not load the dishwasher? We haven’t spoken since. I am LIVID that she would abuse someone’s kind gesture like that. ######
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YTA.
So let me make sure I understand:
You offer to come over and help.
She accepts your offer and you confirm you're coming over.
You get there, see her husband's car in the driveway, and ask her if he's there. She says he is.
You vanish, never to be heard from again.
You don't know the circumstances. Maybe he just got home. Maybe he's been home all day but they're both exhausted because they were up all night. Maybe he's sick and she's trying to care for a baby and a sick person by herself.
Regardless, you ghosted her. That sucks. Friends don't do that to friends. ######
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My wife (30F) and I (28M) have an 8 month old daughter. Since she was born my wife has not done anything besides go to work, and take care of baby. I, on the other hand, have gone to work, gone skiing, played golf, done yard work, and done other house projects and of course, taken care of baby too.
And before anyone jumps down my throat, I love my wife and my daughter more than anything in the world and love being with them. I also believe I can be a better dad and husband when I have a release and something that brings me joy outside of being with them. To me, my hobbies are therapeutic to my mind and allow me to unplug for a couple hours per week.
The other day I told my wife that she should take up some hobbies. I told her to join a volleyball league (she played in college and was pretty good), she should go for a bike ride, play golf or go skiing - anything to give her an outlet and not just go to work and come home and watch baby. She views being a mom as her job, her passion and her hobby. It is one of the things I admire most about her but I also feel it is important for her to have a hobby outside of being a mom and something that brings her joy, a release and an outlet for the frustrations of being a new parent.
This conversation did not go well and she left the room crying because I stuck to my argument that she needed a hobby and she disagreed and didn't want to be away from baby any more than she had to be. Selfishly, I want her to have a hobby that she can do while I watch baby so I don't have to feel as guilty when I am doing my hobbies and she is watching baby.
AITA for wanting her to have a hobby so I can feel less guilty about mine? ######
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YTA.
She is being a mom. Kid is 8 months not 8 years old.
This is all about you and your guilt.
This isnt about her. ######
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I (28f) have trouble with social interactions. Some time I say things with a tone that sounds really rude without realizing it. I think I'm being playful or helpful given the situation. My husband (30m) has only recently told me that I do this and thats why people get upset with me so often. I was upset that he hadn't told me sooner (we have been together 11 years) but I got over that part and asked him to correct me at the time I do it to help me realize when I am and to apologize for it. He has not been doing it. He tells me after the fact like when we get in the car or get home. The last time we were in Wal-Mart and the cashier seemed New and was having trouble doing something on the register. I have worked for the company for 6 years now so I understand how hard it can be at the register. I thought I was trying to be nice and explained what she was doing wrong after she was getting frustrated. She had gotten mad at me for it. As we were leaving my husband told me I was rude for telling her how to do her job and my tone. I got mad and asked why he didn't tell me at the time. He said he didn't wanna start a scene. Am I the Asshole for yelling at him in the car for not helping me fix my people problem? ######
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YTA.
Maybe you can practice fixing your social interactions with your husband for starters? At the end of the day, there wasnt a need to be yelling at him. ######
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Next year I (f23) will be marrying my future husband (m26). I have had the same group of best friends since we were all four years old. When we were in our early teens we made a circle system so that we would all each get the opportunity to be maids of honour at one of our weddings. This friend, lets call her Grace was assigned to me.
I love Grace to absolute death. She lost her dad as a child and has been through a lot of mental health issues over the last decade, but I cant help but have a massive grudge against her because of something that happened when we were 7. I don't remember all the details but in short she told a teacher I was bullying her, and I got a massive scolding from my dad, I had never seen him more angry. She claims to have absolutely no recollection of this, and says that even if it did happen i should excuse it because a) it was 16 years ago and b) only a month after her dad died and she was going through a lot.
When I met my current fiance, the topic of weddings came up in our best friends group chat. I told Grace then that I wouldn't want her to be my maid of honour, because of what happened when we were kids. I think she thought I was joking as when I recently brought it back up, and asked one of our other best friends to be maid of honour instead, she was really upset claiming that if the only trauma I experienced was my dad telling me off I "got off lightly" and that I need to stop holding such a grudge. I think she's being really unfair. All of our friends have told me I'm an asshole for not allowing her to be maid of honour but at the end of the day its my wedding and I'm not going to change my mind to appease her.
AITA for not wanting her to be my maid of honour? ######
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YTA.
Judging by your replies, I bet my bottom dollar you really did bully Grace when you were seven. ######
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So my gf’s bestfriend usually crushes at ours for weeks, but since quarantine began she has refuged to creating online sexual content, something I’m deeply against, so when my gf told me she was coming over -and she had told me she started creating such content- I told her I wouldn’t allow her in my house and I was sorry, my gf seems upset af ngl.
But I think I’m not an asshole because it’s my house and my rules?what do you guys think? ######
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YTA.
Interesting how it's "our" house when a friend is crashing but "my house" when you decide to be judgemental, BTW. ######
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Throw away for obvious reasons. On Saturday night I (32 F) and my boyfriend (33 M) went to have dinner at his parent’s house. This was a big next step. I hadn’t met anyone in his family yet. We’ve been dating for about 6 months now.
So last week I got sick and have been taking penicillin to get over an infection and been having a lot of symptoms, one of them being gas. Most of the time it’s fine, but others, if I don’t let it out, I’ll be in excruciating pain. Everything was going great at dinner, his mom cooked a beautiful pot roast, we were all laughing and getting along famously.
All of a sudden I started getting the gas cramps so I had no choice but to try to let them out silently and once I started - I couldn’t stop. I didn’t think they smelled that bad, and some were louder than I’d hoped, but I didn’t want to step away from the table as we were in the middle of a conversation, I thought it would be rude.
I got unlucky and let one go during a lull in the conversation, it was noticeably loud, but I didn’t think you could tell it was from me. My boyfriend leaned over and asked “Are you OK? Do you need to use the restroom?” I couldn’t believe he would embarrass me in front of his family like that. The rest of the dinner I was quiet from rage.
The whole stress of the situation made my gas cramps worse. The rest of the dinner was awkward, I could tell the parents knew I was the one passing gas because of my boyfriend’s questions. He dropped me off at my place after when I was supposed to stay the night at his, and he had the audacity to drive with the windows down.
I can’t help that I have a medical condition that is causing me to pass gas. As he’s in the medical profession I thought he’d be more understanding. We haven’t talked much since Saturday and I’m just wondering AITA? ######
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YTA.
If you knew this would be a problem, why didn’t you reschedule? This was your first chance to make an impression on his parents, and your relationship is still very young as well.
How did you process the thought “oh, it would be so rude to leave mid conversation” but never once think “it would be rude to continually pass gas at the table”???
I can understand one or two slipping out. But CONTINUALLY? Come on. Have some dignity. ######
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I very recently had my first daughter, she’s 9 weeks right now.
I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, he has a 10y/o and a 9y/o with an ex - they’re still very much friendly and split custody equally.
I want to move back home, my mother is sick and I want to give her a chance to know the baby- even if we only stay for a few months, I’m hoping once my husband sees how beautiful it is there he’ll want to stay.
It’s about 11hours away from where we live, it requires a ferry so it’s not a simple drive either which is what’s so off putting for my husband.
I don’t expect him to live up there, I want to visit for a few months so my mother can see our baby (him liking it enough to move would be a perk)
He can Skype with the children and they can visit as often as possible.
We told his children’s mother so we can figure something out, custody wise, if we were to move.
She isn’t too happy, calling me an AH for expecting my husband to move away from the children and for expecting her to be ok with it.
AITA?
**We won’t be going ahead with this for a while** ######
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YTA.
If you just wanted to move for a couple of months so that your mum could get to know your kid, I'd say N.A.H. But you obviously have ulterior motives here and are being manipulative.
If you genuinely think it's a good idea to separate your husband from his kids and uprooting their lives, then you're an AH beyond all shadow of a doubt. ######
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To preface, I’m the father of a beautiful 3 year old girl whose mother and I are no longer together. Although my daughter is my world, I hope to be remarried in the future and have more children because I always saw myself having a lot of kids. The other day, I made a comment while on the phone to my friend which I honestly thought was fairly innocuous.
Growing up, my father and I always played sports together, loved roughhousing with one another, etc. I know that girls can and do enjoy this too, but I have taken psychology classes before and I know that stuff like this is more naturally inclined toward boys. I think it is polite fiction to think that there are absolutely no differences between male and female children.
While I was talking to my friend, I mentioned that if I ever was able to find someone to have another child with, I would of course love them despite their gender, but I would love to have a boy because I would have someone to throw my ball around with.
My friend called me an idiot, and told me that having a gender preference was potentially harmful, and I should rethink my priorities before trying to have another child. Personally I don’t why what I said was so wrong, AITA? ######
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YTA.
If you can't throw a ball around with your daughter, or roughhouse with her, that's _your_ inclination to not want to do that. My daughter loves wrestling with me, we play sports when we go outside. ######
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Throwaway cause my girlfriend is on reddit.
​
So my girlfriend and I were out for the dinner tonight and after we both finished my plate was clean and she still had a decent amount of food left. I was still hungry, and we often share food so I asked her if I could have what was left of hers. This happens a lot and she always says yes, but this time she said no and explained she wanted to save it for lunch the next day.
​
I was somewhat surprised by this because it's never happened before, but also I was paying for dinner! I feel that since I was still hungry at that point in time I should get the food I was paying for. I have no problem buying my girlfriend food whenever and I buy her meals pretty frequently, but I just kinda feel entitled to the leftovers if I'm still hungry. Also we're partners, she should care that I'm still hungry and let me have the food. I don't know if I expressed myself very well because when I raised my points my girlfriend said "Just listen to yourself" and still got a to-go box for her food. I was annoyed by this but decided to drop it so things didn't escalate more in public, but I have to admit it's still bugging me hours later. AITA? ######
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YTA.
If you *routinely* are still hungry and need her leftovers, you aren't ordering enough food. Further, it takes 20 minutes to feel full, so sometimes you need to chill.
You're putting her in a hard spot because she may want to keep some for lunch the next day, but she may feel like she can't say she's full because you'll come in like a ravenous wolf to scarf it down.
It's irrelevant that you're paying. ######
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Throw away account because my family is on reddit.
On my cell so please ignore any spelling/grammar
Afternoon Assholes,
Some background, my husband & I decided this January that we were going to try to have our first baby. My sister (who is in a lesbian relationship) has also been trying for a baby for about two years, but in October of 2019 her & her partner got licensed to be foster parents.
The whole family was so happy for them when they got their license and so was I. Now they’ve had about 5 or 6 temporary placements & 1 permanent placement who they’ve had since she was 2 and she’s now 3.
3 weeks ago we found out we were pregnant with our first child! We’ve told our families and they are so so so thrilled! But since we’ve found out my sister has been giving us tons of unnecessary advice & every time It begins with “well we learned with this kid that....” This pregnancy so far has left me very emotional and it irritates the hell out of me when she brings up the past children instead of asking me about my real child.
Well, it came to a head yesterday when she brought me some old bottles without asking if I wanted them. She said “well 3 year old doesn’t use them anymore & we don’t plan on having anymore little little babies since X was placed....” I didn’t want her old *used* bottles & I didn’t want any of the advice she brought with those bottles. So I calmly said to her;
“I’m about to be a REAL mom. I don’t want any of your hand-me-downs”
Apparently she told the whole family that and now I’ve been fielding phone calls from my Mom all day about how selfish that was & how I’m being a brat. But it’s true. She isn’t a real mom & she doesn’t ask or act like she wants to know what my newborn will need once he/she is born.
So am I the asshole for pointing out that my sister doesn’t have any real kids? Or should I just let her give me the old bottles? ######
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YTA.
I’ve got 3 (bio kids, since you seem to think that matters) so I outrank you, since you want to play that game. Listen up:
You are in for a super steep learning curve and you’re going to be eating a lot of crow if you don’t change your attitude fast. I’m not saying you should take what she says as gospel — a lot of people are going to tell you how things will be for you and a lot will be wrong — but at least have the grace to accept attempted help in the spirit in which it’s given. If you disagree, then smile and nod and do what you want.
But if you don’t change, you’re going to alienate the people who can give you the most and best support, and your kid is going to suffer the most for it.
And wtf? Yes she’s a real mom. You “don’t want her old hand-me-downs”? Grow TF up. You’re going to be spending lots of money on that kid; take what you can get for free and be grateful for it.
Change your attitude, apologize now before you dig yourself in deeper, and learn from people who have gone before you. ######
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Throwaway for obvious reasons. Also this is long.
I (35F) married my husband (56 M) 5 years ago and his family has been awful to me and our son (7M) because I was the other woman. His ex-wife dragged him through a two year long contentious divorce and got the house, pretty much everything he owned except his business, and an exorbitant amount of child support.
They had three children together, “Junior” 24M, “Eve” 22F and “Kate” 16F). The older two do not acknowledge me. Kate is not rude because she generally stays with us every other weekend but she will not talk to me if she can avoid it. Our 7 year old “Brady” has cerebral palsy and is non verbal and non mobile, so they use that as an excuse not to develop a relationship with him at all. My husband was very close with Junior before we got together and they used to do typical father-son things. After his parents divorce, Junior grew distant and went away to college, and my son will never be able to do the bonding things my husband wants. Eve is engaged and stated that she does not want my husband to walk her down the aisle because he doesn’t “respect the covenant of marriage.” She’s also made it clear I’m not invited to the wedding.
My husband’s parents and sister are religious and do not approve of the adultery, the divorce or my having his child out of wedlock. When my father in law passed, he left his other grandchildren 6 figure inheritances on top of their college funds and left my son and husband just enough that we couldn’t contest the will. We recently found out that the whole family does zoom nights and exclude us.
We recently had an argument about his family and how they treat my son as less than equal. I said that I’m done with them and his children. I’m tired of watching my husband’s heart break and I want him stop begging his family to forgive him for a choice we made to be happy together. My husband said I was an asshole and he can’t just give up his kids to make me happy. So AITA? ######
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YTA.
I'm not sure why you think you're entitled to any sort of warm-and-fuzzy hug treatment from his children and ex-wife, when you are as you say "the other woman". I wouldn't invite you to my wedding, either.
On the other hand, it's pretty wretched for your son's grandparents to treat him poorly. He's an innocent in all of this. But they're a minority in the story, so I'm not putting down E.S.H.
But this part:
> When my father in law passed, he left his other grandchildren 6 figure inheritances on top of their college funds and left my son and husband just enough that we couldn’t contest the will.
That's just a beggar being a chooser, while looking a gift horse in the mouth, or whatever. ######
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I shared an apartment with 2 other guys. At some point I wanted to have sex so I invited girls over. The website that used host fake accounts. I got scammed and my room mates found out. They objected to me having prostitutes over.
For a little background. I lived with these guys for some time and me living was hardly anything to write about. They dont clean, dont do the dishes. They hardly talked with me. I made food for them invites them to so some fun things and they never did anything in return. After the night I got scammed they talked with me (one of the only times they showed any interest). They talked with me about that they thought I was angry about being scammed(which is was not angry about) and that they cared for me as a friend (in which I got really annoyed because holy shit do people only seem to care about me when they want something)
Another problem that arises is that they cant prove that the women that come by are prostitutes unless they ask. The second argument is that they have no right to intrude on my personal life.
Their arguments are ;is that they dont feel safe with those prostitutes around, which doesnt make sense because the women I have over didnt use bodyguards. They didnt trust them with stealing stuff, which is nonsense because I would let them roam around my house freely.
I just get so fucking frustrated. I need sex, that's a basic need that I want fulfilled. They shouldn't be bothered with me unless they get personally threatened. Which they never had been. ######
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YTA.
I'm going to preface this by saying, I don't care if you fuck prostitutes, that's none of my business
However, both of the points your roommates bring up are valid, and you completely dismiss them out of hand. Whether or not they use bodyguards isn't the point, and of course you're not going to let them roam around, but that still would not prevent them from stealing things if they were so inclined. They could also just be taking note roommate's hypothetical expensive gaming computer to come back later for a burglary.
Regardless of whatever a person's views is on prostitution, you are committing a criminal act in your shared domicile and putting your roommates at a risk they have expressed to you is unacceptable. ######
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So I used to live with my roommate and she had a friend who needed to stay for 2 weeks. I won't go into to much detail but shwas escaping an abusive situation and she had to wait to move in to her new apartment. I never really saw her, she was out most of the time and only came back to sleep but I was still uncomfortable with a stranger living in my apartment. I put my foot down after 1 week and tolf my roommate that she needed to kick her friend out. She looked upset and asked why and that her friend is really quiet and isnt home most of the time. I told her I didn't need to explain myself and she went to bed crying.
The next day she came up to me and told me she was moving out and she's going to live with her friend. I immediately panicked because I couldn't afford to live there by myself but she was adamant and she moved out that day and continued paying rent until the lease was up which was 2 months after she moved out.
I had to move back in with my parents and I messaged her telling her she's a is a huge piece of shit and I did nothing wrong. She sent back a long, angry message about how I was disrespectful to her friend and I need to stop being such an entitled bitch. I blocked her.
I know I was in the right until I messaged her and I am not sure if I was in the wrong for what I said. AITA? ######
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YTA.
I would sympathise somewhat with having a stranger in your house - but they weren't in any way disruptive, and they were there for just two weeks. Also, imagine if you were trying to escape an abusive situation. Have some empathy.
With your roommate moving out, she continued to pay rent so you were fine financially, so what's the issue? In fact you kind of got what you wanted anyway. You didn't need to move in with your parents because of this, and what a disgusting choice of words for someone who was to simply help their friend out who was going through a tough time.
Good for her that you blocked her - now she doesn't need to deal with your bullsh*t. ######
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My daughter is an 8th grader entering 9th grade. All incoming students had to go to a sort of orientation today, where they would get their schedules, IDs, the like. She had planned for my wife to take her.
I am physically disabled from an injury and can’t walk. She didn’t want me to take her because she knew I wouldn’t be able to walk up stairs and I wouldn’t be able to pay her fees for her or sign forms. My wife pretty much forbid me from going, saying we have a puppy with separation anxiety that needs watching at home.
It was painstaking and tedious but I managed to hobble over to my car and drive there. When I got there my wife saw me, got frustrated and drove home, essentially abandoning my daughter there. My daughter was in queue getting her laptop, and needed a parent to come up to the second floor with her. She came out to the parking lot to get her mother and saw me in her place, asked for her mother, and when I told her I sent her home she blew up at me and told me I ruined her day for my own ego.
I only wanted to be involved in her education. Reddit, AITA? ######
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YTA.
I think your daughter hit the nail on the head quite succinctly.
Orientation is not some "event" to be shared and enjoyed. It's a battleground of tedium, paperwork, and getting hundreds of kids various fees paid, pictures taken and IDs made, laptops deployed, locker assignments and books handed out. If you're lucky, there'll be a few teacher meet and greets and maybe one will even make a few gallons of Kool-Aid to make y'all feel welcome and provide a bit of refuge from the throngs of people trying to completely their scavenger hunt of tedious BS.
If this was about anything other than your ego, you'd have contacted the school in advance to make arrangements to accommodate you for your disabilities and ensured you could do all the things even your daughter knew you'd struggle or be outright incapable of doing.
If you wanted to be involved in her education, you would have planned this better than waiting until her and Mom went and then followed by yourself specifically to force yourself.
There are a great many ways to be involved in your kid's education without making an ass of yourself. ######
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Hi - honestly I'm a bit lost and confused here, but please hear me out.
I (25M) started taking dating apps seriously a few months ago. Anyone familiar with these kind of apps will know that it's a lot harder for guys than girls. I know for a fact that several female friends of mine have hundreds of matches whereas I (average attractiveness) was lucky to get a reply back.
A lot of the time it also seems to fall to the guy to make the first move and keep the conversation going. So when an app tells me a girl's interests, I usually try to work them into the conversation if it lulls.
A few weeks ago there was a girl (23F) who I really clicked with. Similar sense of humor, some great photos, and she seemed sweet. After talking some we decided to hang out and see if we worked irl.
I was kinda nervous and because I really wanted this to go well, I looked her up on a few social media platforms. All her profiles were public and so were her likes. I happened to find her profile on a really old site (the picture had to be from at least ten years ago) and I was pretty happy because she liked a page about a video game I love. She even drew fanart.
So we're hanging out and I happen to mention the video game and how cool it is we both enjoy it. She's confused obviously and asks me how I know she's a fan.
When I tell her I saw it online, she completely freaks out on me. She accused me of stalking her, and didn't really listen when I tried to explain I'd just done some googling.
AITA for checking this girl out online before meeting up? ######
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YTA.
I get that your intentions were good, but you lost me at "profile from 10 years ago."
If it was her public Instagram or something, that'd be different. But, if somebody mentioned a band from my Myspace page in high school while I was on a date with them, I'd be a bit unnerved.
I wouldn't call it stalking (it isn't like you followed her to her house and looked in her window) but it does venture way too close to creepy territory.
edit: can't type ######
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My ex and I have split custody of our daughter, I get certain days of the week and he gets the others and we split through weekends.
This year, Father’s Day comes on a day that my daughter stays with me for the weekend up until the week, and I told her that she couldn’t go to his house on Father’s Day because of that and also because it would be too much of a hassle to get her from my house to his back to mine for just one day. My ex texted me today asking why the fuck can’t he just have this one day and I told him straight up. I don’t take any bullshit and I believe it’s only fair. If this happened to me I would let him take her for the day even though it was Mother’s Day. He called me heartless and now my mother is reprimanding me for this. I don’t believe I’m in the wrong because it’s only what the schedule says I can’t help that. AITA? ######
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YTA.
I feel really bad for your daughter.
That part where you say you don't take any bullshit? Apparently you find your daughter having a healthy relationship with both parents to be part of the bullshit.
Little do you realize, you aren't hurting her relationship with him. You're hurting her relationship with you. ######
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I'll try to make this short. I'm (38m) and my wife (33f) have been married for 11 years. When we met I had a 7 year old cat that was my bff I had since he was a kitten. He was literally my whole life as cheesy as that sounds. Well he lived to be 18 and I had to have him put to sleep last summer before the world shut down. The week after I just couldn't take it. I was so heartbroken and needed time alone I booked a trip to Mexico (we live in the USA) and went there for 5 days. I just needed some time alone. I didn't tell my wife until I got there. I acted like I was just going to work for the day, but went to the airport. When I got there I called her and told her where I was. She was really upset I didn't talk to her about my feelings. I just couldn't. I wanted to be alone. It's been almost a year and I still feel bad about it. We don't have kids BTW.
AITA? ######
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YTA.
I feel bad for you, especially because I know the pain of losing a beloved animal friend. But, dude, flying to Mexico without telling your wife? That's nuts. Not because you need permission, but because she's your partner, your friend, the person you are supposed to rely on.
If you really can't show her your grief and sadness, then I think you have to wonder how much of yourself you are sharing with her. Or whether you're putting on an act for the majority of your life. ######
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To start it off, I (39 M) work as an online art critic, and it truly is the love of my life. I have always been incredibly fascinated by art and it's many, many forms. My daughter (11 F) has taken notice of this recently and had put a LOT of dedication in to becoming a good artist. However, the results... were not the best. Whenever she showed a painting/picture to me I tried my best to say it was good, but I just hate lying. I finally broke when she showed a pencil sketch of my face. I basically critiqued it as I would an online piece. I noted how the eyes were too slim, the nose too small, the mole on the wrong side of my face, but that the hair was a good start. My daughter heard this and ran off in tears. About an hour later my wife comes in pretty angry. She basically says that my daughter is trying to connect with me and it is discusting how I treated her. I still feel like I'm in the right because apparently my daughter can't take constructive criticism, and I am just trying to be honest with her. AITA ######
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YTA.
How you don't see that is baffling to me. She's 11, you asshole. If you shit on everything she tries right now, she won't keep trying, and she'll never get better. ######
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I met my (42M) wife (34F) 9 years ago, her son John is 14.
My wife has John 3 weeks of the month.
My wife is due to give birth any day, she was actually due last week, her pregnancy has been extremely stressful and she’s been on bed rest for most of it.
Her son has been extremely difficult lately; saying I’m not his dad and that he’s afraid the baby will grow up to be like me and being disrespectful.
I tolerated it for a week because he’s going through a hard time but I’m fed up.
I asked my wife to send him to his fathers until the baby is born, maybe a week after the baby is born even.
She refused saying that she gets wanting a week after the baby is born and she’ll sort that out but she won’t send him home during her custody time, even though they’ve spent like an hour together the past two weeks.
She believes he’ll link the baby to being sent home, I believe at his attitude he’s old enough to know that we need peace and quiet at this time.
She believes that I’m being out of order, I’d ask her to speak to him but last time she did he lashed out and now she’s pass her due date I don’t want to stress her out more.
He’s too old to be acting like this when we’re both stressed out because of this complicated pregnancy, which he’s aware of.
AITA? ######
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YTA.
He is home.
He's 14.
He's experiencing a MASSIVE change in his surroundings (during a pandemic). Of course, he's gonna be a turd. The kid might want to see a therapist or a family therapist for you all because this sounds like the new baby is coming in to a nightmare.
Sending him away is going to probably gonna reinforce what he's probably feeling...that he's been erased.
You said you want to send him 'home' because it's stressing your wife out...but then in a comment saying they've barely interacted. So, it sounds like the kid is stressing YOU out, not your wife. ######
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So I met this girl through an online video game we both play. We've been talking on and off for about five years now. Here's the thing though, although we've talked for this long, I have only seen maybe a handful of pictures of her. I've reverse image searched the ones I've had and it doesn't return any results, but still very fishy.
Every time I ask to see a picture of her, she tells me no because she has "body dysmorphia". I find that hard to believe, she's legitimately one of the most attractive girls I've ever seen if her pictures are true. I decided to see if she would trust me enough to send more pictures, so I've been asking semi-frequently and every single time has been "no" or some other excuse. I finally had enough and called her a catfish, because that's what I've been lead to believe with all the evidence I have.
She got extremely upset and lashed out on me, saying she wasn't a catfish and I know she has body dysmorphia. She said I was being ridiculous because we aren't dating and I don't send her money or buy her things, so what reasons would she have for catfishing me? I felt like she was once again coming up with excuses and told her I needed proof. She hasn't talked to me since. This still seems fishy though. ######
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YTA.
Have you gone to any of these crazy lengths to check out the guys you play with online? Most likely not. You are being a creep. ######
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This happened a while ago*
A few weeks ago a mutual friend who I don’t know really well hosted a dinner party and invited me and a couple of our mutual friends. I’m just going to throw it out there but I don’t eat vegetables, yes I’m an adult. I’ve never liked them and growing up my parents never forced me to eat any so I never developed the appetite.
Fast forward to the dinner party we are all at the table enjoying the meal and I am eating around the vegetables and admiring my hosts garden and she tells me that she grows all her own vegetables and I tell her how cool that is and she looks me in my eyes and says the following “I use my bath water to water the plants” and then she giggles. Everyone at the table look uncomfortable and I asked her if she was joking and she looked puzzled and said no and went on a little rant about not wasting water. Anyway to cut a long story short I called her disgusting and that I didn’t appreciate being fed her bath water veggies (okay I didn’t eat it but she put them on my plate) and that she’s a unhygienic inconsiderate person and that she can’t be trusted to prepare food for people and then I walked out
Apparently after I left she cried and had a breakdown and my friends stayed over to comfort her and have been bugging me for weeks to apologise but she needs to apologise to me I am still appalled at the little stunt she pulled ######
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YTA.
Firstly, not eating vegetables is not relevant to your story but the way you seem proud of it does give a little insight into your maturity.
Secondly, she is rightly proud of growing her own vegetables and saving water in doing so. You embarrassed her and caused a scene like a baby. You know vegetables have been grown in literal animal shit for millenia, right? ######
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So last July my brother announced he had proposed and the wedding was scheduled for mid 2020 ish (they didn't lock in a date thankfully because they'd have to postpone it due to this lockdown stuff) and the girl seems really nice. A little uptight tbh but definitely someone who can be chill and fun to be around after you get to know her. She's a CPA. So she texted me right about late April asking if I'd like to go to the Bachelorette part (obv. taking place when things reopen) I kinda just said no, but out of guilt I felt the need to get a gift for the occasion. This is what I got her.. [NSFW](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087SHDHQH). When she got it.. I mean when HER DAUGHTER (10) GOT IT OUT OF THE GODDAMN MAIL BOX AND OPENED THE PACKAGE. SHE TEXTED ME AGAIN. Then she called me, yelling about how I couldn't possibly be more inconsiderate and I'm lucky that she isn't calling the authorities (lol?) about this.
I literally just wanted to alleviate my guilt about not caring about her Hen night party and now she thinks I'm actually disturbed in the head. Am I? More importantly reddit, AITA? She won't drop this and we've had a somewhat forced facetime with my brother in the room recently and it was extremely awkward. She claims I might have damaged her kid for life. What. Do. I. DO. AITA?..
TLDR Wiener Book Wrong Place Wrong Time ######
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YTA.
Either you know she wouldn't have found the "gift" funny or you're not close enough that sending a NSFW gift is "appropriate". ######
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Without going into too much detail my job is very stressful right now, I’m on constant meetings and I am constantly having work thrown at me last minute.
I have two children, 2&4, we are also expecting our third child in October.
My wife is an interior designer, she usually works nights since our youngest is always waking up at odd hours and she says it inspires her, which is fine.
I had a 40 minute break yesterday, I decided to take that as me time and watch some tv - when my youngest woke up from her nap and started whining that she wanted to play.
I told her to go get her mummy to play because I wanted to relax, turns out her mother was having a nap because both children were also meant to be sleeping as they’d been awake most of the night.
My eldest woke her up and they played princess or whatever for a few hours and had an early night.
My wife came into the bedroom that night and completely went off on one about how she isn’t a single parent and she just wanted a nap, next time the children are up she’ll get our daughter to wake me up as a guilt trip like I did to her.
I tried to explain that I only had 40minutes, I’d had pressure from my boss and wanted a break- she chooses to work nights.
Now she’s sleeping on the pullout sofa in the girls room.
AITA? ######
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YTA.
Comparing how much sleep each of you gets in average, you are a giant asshole. She gets by your estimate under 5 hours of sleep a day and you get an average of 8 hours of sleep daily.
This doesn't seem...off... to you?
Your *Me time* doesn't get to come at the expense of her sleep time when there is such a large disparity between how much more time you enjoy than she can get. ######
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So I'm 18M and I live with my older sisters(20F/23F) our parents pay all our expenses and we go to college and stuff. Well today we had to go grocery shopping but since only one person can go at a time I was picked to go. When my sister(23F) texted me the list I asked if I can not buy the tampons and someone else can go later. She asked why I said I'm embarrassed to buy tampons. She told me to grow up and just buy the tampons. We augured back and forth till eventually my sister(20F) just went in return I have to clean her bathroom. AITA? ######
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YTA.
Come on. It's just a hygiene product and no one is looking at you or gives a fuck if they happen to see. ######
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My husband works for a corporate company. When the craziness started, he was off of work for almost 2 weeks until they changed protocol. Since then, he's back at work with apparently "nothing" to do all day until he receives certain supplies that he needs to actually work. But he has to stay at work to be paid, so I've been asking him to tough it out and be bored if he has to so we make sure we can pay our bills during this time.
He and the other co worker have not been doing much but playing on phones, listening to music, etc. for most of their time spent at work. I've been taking on a lot of extra commissions just to come up with less money than I was making before things went south with the world: working more and harder for less money just to stay afloat.
He mentioned to me "as soon as things are running normally again I'm taking a week off. I need a break." I asked him what made him feel he was entitled to a week off when everyone around him was dealing with the same thing. He just used up 7 of his vacation days a few months ago to sit at home and play video games. Didn't even do house chores. Just played video games and watched TV the whole time while I worked. So, AITA for telling him that he doesn't deserve a vacation? ######
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YTA.
Being forced to stay in a place with nothing to do for hours on end is mentally taxing.
You are resentful about your situation and taking it out on him. ######
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Me: 30s/F
Brother (Sean): 30/M
His fiancé: (Ashley): 31/F
Ashley’s sister: 33/F (I’ll call her Kate)
My brother Sean has been dating Ashley for 2 years, and they got engaged about two months ago.
Ashley has always been very kind to me and my family. But she isn’t close with her blood siblings. And by not close I mean like... she hasn’t talked to them in years. Not a single word. They don’t even exchange birthday or Christmas cards. I’ve met her parents and they seem fine so I don’t think there’s any big trauma. I on the other hand, am very very close with my brother and sister. I couldn’t bear not contacting them on their birthdays or Christmas.
Ashley is one of those people who can wiggle out of any conversation. Example:
Me: how’s Kate?
Ashley: she’s fine as far as I know.
Me: don’t you want to find out? I’d want to know how my sister is.
Ashley: oh, would you?
Me: yeah, I would. She’s your blood relative.
Ashley: yep she is.
Etc. etc. etc. it’s pretty rude if I’m honest. Recently she and Sean got engaged. I was very curious about her extended family, so I did some social media digging and found her sister Kate. I messaged her, just saying hi and explaining we will be related soon.
Kate seems absolutely fine and like a nice person. I can't understand why Ashley would write her off.
I told Ashlry I connected with Kate, and she got extremely mad, said I had no right to reach out to her. Sean also said I was the asshole, but he was a little gentler.
So AITA? ######
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YTA.
100%
You think it's rude for your future sister in law to evade your questions about her family, with whom she has almost no contact? How is that rude?
You go behind her back, contact the sister, make snap judgments based on nothing, and stick your nose where it doesn't belong.
You are very nosy, strangely entitled, and weirdly judgmental. ######
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Throwaway for reasons. So a few weeks ago the new Animal Crossing came out. I bought it immediately. My best friend is an Animal Crossing super fan, but is pretty poor and didn’t have a switch. She has no cable or TV or anything, and I wanted to do something nice. I tell her if she can come up with half the money for a switch I would pay the rest, she would just have to buy the game. She told me she doesn’t have income right now, and any money she does get has to go to bills. Understandable. I decide to get her the switch anyway. I show up and surprise her and she immediately tells me she can not afford it. I tell her it’s a gift. She’s super thankful and said she has to refund a plane ticket she got for her birthday to visit her family, so she may be able to pay back some of it, but that it wouldn’t be much because she really needs the money for groceries and bills. I tell her not to worry about it but deep down I’m hoping she will pay me back.
Her mom gets her the game for a birthday gift, and she LOVES the game. She is somehow farther than I am, and she always lets me visit her island to trade things. Well a few days ago MY switch breaks. It’s not fixable. So I ask if she ever got that refund, and if I can have my half of the money. She says she did get the refund but used most of it on groceries. I’m kind of annoyed because she should have set aside some money like she said she would. Why say something you’re not gonna do? I thought about it for a while and decided to ask for the switch back. None of her money went into it, so it’s technically not hers. She was really bummed out, but was a good sport about it.
I personally don’t think I did anything wrong because I bought it, but my girlfriend is now telling me I’m a “dick” because we both have decent jobs and easily could have replaced the switch we had. She’s really upset with me, and says if I don’t give our friend the switch back that she’s gonna go buy her one herself. Which I think is stupid. AITA here??? ######
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YTA.
>Why say something you’re not gonna do?
Exactly. YOU are the one who said things you did not follow through on, however, not your friend. She said she “may” pay you back the money, YOU told her the Switch was a gift and not to worry about it.
Your girlfriend is right, you did act inappropriately.
ETA:
>UPDATE: I have just read all of your comments and cannot reply to them all. First of all my girlfriend stole the switch back and brought it back to our friend without me knowing.
“Stole?!” You’re kidding, right?? Your girlfriend gave this person back what YOU stole from HER.
>For everyone asking how I can’t POSSIBLY see that I’m TA I was taught that when someone gives you an expensive gift you’re obligated to pay them back in some way, but I guess not everyone was raised that way.
Actually, many of us were raised to show appreciation and to return the favor when another person gives generously to us. The problem is, while the rest of us seem to understand the WHOLE concept, you appear to have missed the context where ”paying someone back” **does not actually mean compensating the original giver monetarily for the “gift” received**. Paying them back often means paying their generosity forward by being kind and generous to another person when you have the means, a simple and sincere thank you, a note to say how much you appreciated something, or even payment back in the form of a favor later on down the road. Did your parents expect you to pay them back for your birthday presents or risk having your toys taken away as a child?
>Also for everyone saying I shouldn’t buy things I can’t afford. I am not struggling. I could have easily bought another one but why would I when I JUST bought one and it’s perfectly fine? That makes no sense.
Because, while you bought one, you no longer OWN one. And if you wish to own something, you purchase it for yourself - you don’t repossess it from another person. ######
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GF and I were talking and she wants to get on Birth Control to help with her cramps, which I was iffy about because of the effects it can have on her body (hormonal changes, lower libido, lack of natural lubrication, weight gain, etc). I pretty much condensed it down to it's your choice, but consider my input and keep me in the know. To which she argued it's her body and I shouldn't be part of that decision. I told her that if that's her point of view, then by that logic, whether I wear a condom or not should by my choice and she shouldn't have to part in it because it's my body.
Anyways, AITA for wanting to be in the loop?
**Edit:** I'm seeing several interesting points of view, but to clarify, I did look over the positives and negatives of BC although I'm only stating the negatives. She has body image issue (I think she's fine as she is, even if she's pudgy in certain areas, I love her for her), I'm concerned weight gain could make it worse as it is hard enough now and is a constant struggle to get her to accept she's perfect the way she and I stand behind belief despite her being insecure.
And regarding a lower libido, I know it can go the other way and result in a higher one as well (which I have no issue with), I just want her to look at both sides of the coin. Sex affects both of us and is an important part of our relationship (although not a primary focus, it's a small important part).
**Edit 2:** I'll show her this post and see how she feels about it, I just wanted to see other people's take on this, I appreciate the input as I'm sure she will as well. ######
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YTA.
>I told her that if that's her point of view, then by that logic, whether I wear a condom or not should by my choice and she shouldn't have to part in it because it's my body.
It is. It's also her choice to not sleep with you because of that. Likewise, it's your choice not to sleep or otherwise be with her if she goes on birth control.
But being worried about her fuckibility being affected by her taking measures to reduce her pain is not a good look dude. Intentional or not, what you're telling her is "my ability and desire to fuck you takes precedence over your pain." I'm 100% sure you would be upset if you had to take some med with potential negative side effects and she was this flippant about it. ######
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My son (15M) is very social, he has many friends and he talks to me a lot about some problems, school etc.
My husband feels he favours me then him, and I have tried to do something things to set them up. Like fishing, but he hates it, and hates doing it and sometimes the 2 have fights about it. Hunting, my husband likes hunting , son does not, and they even have more fights about how my husband "forces" him to like it.
But for some reason our son was very quiet and sad for a few dags, wouldn't tell me why.
Anyway, my husband was looking for something in my son's room and he found a diary. Me and him were so surprised, since our son has never mentioned this before.
Anyway I did tell him to put it back, but he told me it wouldn't hurt to see anything that would explain his behaviour. I was curious and worried so I let him.
Not going to say what we found out, but it was really big and understandble why our son was sad, so I told my husband not to say anything to him.
Well he didn't listen, and tried to help our son yesterday to deal with and, and he went ballistic. Told us that we shouldn't have done that, called us horrible parents, took it, and now he's treating us like strangers, and isn't the same again. And for the first time in a long time, he has been mad at me for longer than 2 days, no matter what I do. I've done everything, baked him a cake (which he did say thank you but it was obvious he didn't care), gave him space, brought him gifts. Nothing! My husband told him that he was worried, and that we just wantef to help him, but again they had another fight.
I really just wanted to know what happened with his behaviour, I was worried.
Aita? ######
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YTA.
>and now he's treating us like strangers, and isn't the same again
And he may well never be.
Let me share with you a story. My father once did almost exactly this, except that instead of a diary it was Myspace messages.
I don't trust him any more. The end.
Interesting story?
What your husband did, and what you supported, is probably the largest breach of trust your son has ever experienced. He knows that he can no longer count on privacy around you two.
If you even want a *chance* at fixing this, you both need to talk to him, together. You need to explicitly tell him that you were wrong for reading his diary, that you disrespected his privacy, that you understand why what you did was wrong, that you'll never do it again, and that you want him to feel like he can be secure in his personal thoughts and belongings around you. And it wouldn't hurt to go buy him a cheap fireproof safe to which only he has the keys to prove your point. ######
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My son (15M) is very social, he has many friends and he talks to me a lot about some problems, school etc.
My husband feels he favours me then him, and I have tried to do something things to set them up. Like fishing, but he hates it, and hates doing it and sometimes the 2 have fights about it. Hunting, my husband likes hunting , son does not, and they even have more fights about how my husband "forces" him to like it.
But for some reason our son was very quiet and sad for a few dags, wouldn't tell me why.
Anyway, my husband was looking for something in my son's room and he found a diary. Me and him were so surprised, since our son has never mentioned this before.
Anyway I did tell him to put it back, but he told me it wouldn't hurt to see anything that would explain his behaviour. I was curious and worried so I let him.
Not going to say what we found out, but it was really big and understandble why our son was sad, so I told my husband not to say anything to him.
Well he didn't listen, and tried to help our son yesterday to deal with and, and he went ballistic. Told us that we shouldn't have done that, called us horrible parents, took it, and now he's treating us like strangers, and isn't the same again. And for the first time in a long time, he has been mad at me for longer than 2 days, no matter what I do. I've done everything, baked him a cake (which he did say thank you but it was obvious he didn't care), gave him space, brought him gifts. Nothing! My husband told him that he was worried, and that we just wantef to help him, but again they had another fight.
I really just wanted to know what happened with his behaviour, I was worried.
Aita? ######
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YTA.
> I've done everything, baked him a cake (which he did say thank you but it was obvious he didn't care), gave him space, brought him gifts.
I’m sorry, but this is almost comical. You don’t repair broken trust with cake and gifts. Trust takes seconds to break but immense effort and time to rebuild. You are being completely unreasonable to expect him to forgive you in 2 days. I urge you to look up prior posts on Reddit about parents reading their children’s diaries. This is something people hold onto for *years.* ######
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Throw away because my girlfriend is on Reddit and knows my account.
Yesterday, my girlfriend showed me a building she was building in Minecraft. I asked her if I can look around the place, and when she went to the bathroom, I found a lot of TNT in one of the chests and thought it would be funny to prank her by exploding the place.
When she came back and saw it, she got **extremely** upset, almost as upset as one would be if they got their real house burned down. She even cried, and she now won't talk to me.
I thought it was just a game and not worth getting that angry over. I think she's so invested in it to the point that she cares about her Minecraft cat more than actual people in her life. It was meant to be a prank, but she's turning it to big deal. ######
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YTA.
> I think she's so invested in it to the point that she cares about her Minecraft cat more than actual people in her life.
Maybe it's because the people in her life are assholes who destroy things she put a lot of work into? ######
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Some background:
My cousin and my aunt have been staying with my parents and I for a little over a month. She separated from my uncle and had to leave the house .
I live in my parents basement apartment and when I was working and going to school I only saw them briefly. Now that we are home together, I have been taking to them more.
I typically walk my dog a mile or so in the morning and 2 miles in the evening. She has been getting longer walks lately, and last week I asked my cousin if he wanted to come along for a walk with us. We walk at a quick pace but not super fast. As we were walking my cousin started getting very winded. At this point my Fitbit said that we had only walked .6 of a mile.
He doesn’t have asthma or anything, so I was really confused about him being tired. I’m 20 (so only a few years older than him) and I make this walk without even thinking about it daily. I let him rest for a minute then we proceeded walking. About .3 of a mile later he needed to stop again. I live in a hilly neighborhood, but I still think the stopping was a bit excessive for someone his age.
Without thinking I was like, “wow bro you’re really unhealthy.” He got upset and went back home. I continued my walk. When I got back everyone was mad at me, my parents yelled at me, and my mom even instructed me *not to talk to him* which I think is silly.
Now that time has passed, my aunt says that my cousin is developing “food anxiety” and doesn’t want to eat what she prepares for him. I have also noticed that he has been doing things to lose weight like jump roping and stuff.
My parents and my aunt are blaming his anxiety on me, and saying that I’m a bully. They want me to apologize for what I said to him. I do think I was a bit blunt, but am I really the asshole for telling him he’s unhealthy? ######
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YTA.
> I make this walk without even thinking about it daily.
Yeah, but if you'd never done it before? You'd probably need to work up to it at least a little. And something tells me your idea of a "brisk pace" doesn't necessarily match up with what someone who doesn't have a daily routine might be prepared for.
At any rate, regardless of what you might have intended (or didn't stop to consider as a potential long-term consequence), you've clearly triggered something in your cousin that may or may not be a healthy response to the problem. At least check in with him and make sure he's doing it right. ######
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My daughter \[14F\] has been drawing ever since she was 9. Her drawings are really good and I am honestly impressed by how realistic she manages to draw certain things on her iPad. My son \[10M\] also wants to start drawing and hopes to become as good as his sister. I told him to use his sisters cartons and crayons to start practicing and that next week (this Monday) I will buy him too.
Well, yesterday he wasted a lot of his sisters cartons because he kept failing while he was attempting to draw until his sister had enough and told him that this is the last carton she’s giving him. After she gave him the last carton he finally started drawing with attention and probably spent an hour and a half on it. When he was done he came to me and showed me what he did. I honestly couldn’t tell what animal he attempted to draw based on his painting but in the end I assumed it was a dragon since it was breathing fire. He asked me about my opinion and I told him that I honestly think the art was bad and he shouldn’t have wasted all his sisters cartons for it but also not to worry about it because with enough practice he is going to become good at drawing. My husband was mad about my response and told me that I should have just said it was good and encourage him to continue (I did though) and that his art was actually pretty good for a beginner.
I thought my response to my son was reasonable because although I told him his drawing was bad I still encouraged him to keep going and not give up, that was until today when he came to me and told me not to buy him the art supplies because he doesn’t want to draw anymore. I felt bad because I feel like it’s my fault and my husband obviously didn’t lose the opportunity to call me out for it. AITA? ######
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YTA.
You say you're very proud of how hard he's tried.
You say it's beautiful. Because the start of any hobby is.
You don't tell him it's a waste. Now he's going to feel guilty...
Congratulations. You'll only have one artist. ######
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I am a landlord in a relatively small city in New England (less than 15,000 year-round residents). I inherited several rental properties but my company has been steadily growing so that we are now the largest property holders in the city and control roughly 60% of residential rentals. This problem has cropped up over the years and I alway feel very torn about it, as I can see both sides of the argument and thought I would see what the Internet has to say....
I NEVER rent to friends/family. No exceptions. In the beginning of my career I leased an apartment to a friend who wasn’t the most qualified and subsequently lost her job. I gave her way more slack than I would normally give anyone, but at the end she ended up owing almost $8000 in rent and I had to evict her and her family. It obviously destroyed the relationship, hurt my business and I was vilified to mutual friends. Since then, I have never done it again.
The issue is that it is a very tight rental market, our city has a shortage of rentals and we often receive 50+ applications for a 2 bedroom apartment. A few times over the years, I’ve been approached by friends who need a rental, people who are qualified, have good jobs and great history with other landlords in the city, people I would have happily rented to if they weren’t my friends/family. AITA for not renting to them just because I know them? I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I just value my relationships and this dynamic (them owing me $1000+ a month/calling me to chat oh and also their faucet is leaking) would almost certainly change things between us. Let me have it, AITA??? ######
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YTA... it would be different if you owned 3 houses but you’ve kinda got a monopoly on the market here.. ######
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Me and my daughter have been haven’t been getting along so well recently and I feel as though I’ve been under-appreciated because she doesn’t seem to realise how much I really do around the house. I’m a single parent (there’s just us in the house) with disabilities that stop me from doing certain things such as taking clothes upstairs and putting them away or doing the dishes etc... So my daughter does these things; she also vacuums around the house, cleans the bathroom the majority of the time, sweeps in the kitchen, looks after our pets... However, recently, she’s been spending a lot of the time in her room doing school work, which I know she is quite stressed about, and she’s not been keeping up with her chores around the house.
I’ve been spending a lot of the week at my friend’s workplace and helping her with certain things while my daughter has been at home. I was hoping she’d maybe do some jobs while I was out but I’ve been coming home to see the bare minimum, she’d only vacuumed and put washing on the dryer. I’d just given up so I refused to do anything and waited for my daughter to notice.
I’ve seen her become more and more stressed throughout the week. Yesterday, we sat down to watch a film and by the end of it she was annoyed because I was on my phone most of the time and asked her to tell me what happened- she usually doesn’t get annoyed by this and I told her that she used to do it all the time so why shouldn’t I? I’m the adult, not her. The dog has also chewed one of her last pairs of glasses this week, they were her favourite.
I felt like my point was finally getting across so I told her this morning about what I’ve been doing. She seemed shocked and upset but I’ve been dealing with her behaviour for weeks, I told her to put herself in my shoes and she just ignored me. She apologised but I have a feeling she’s still upset.
So, Reddit, am I the a-hole? ######
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YTA...
You treat your daughter like a maid.
Your daughter is under extreme pressure with her exams.
Instead of helping her with the workload, you went to help a friend.
You came home and acted like a spoilt child.
The term parenting means the clue is in the title.
You are her parent. She is not yours.
Grow up. Hire help if you need it. She is not supposed to be your carer, housemaid and daughter all in one.
Stop complaining about the housework and let her focus on her future. Your selfish.
I cant see in this what exactly you do around the home? Seems she does all the work.
Get your friend over to help you.
YTA over and over... ######
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My cousin Luke (fake name) has always been a bit on the feminine side. He changed his gender to become a female last month. He now wants to go by the name Lucy.
Him and his parents came over for lunch and we were all talking. I told them about how my exams were going and how I bought my first car last week. After we all spoke, I asked Luke how he was doing and he told me that he wanted to be called Lucy. Now, most of my extended family were against Luke wanting to transition as they felt that it wasn't normal. I told him that I prefer calling him Luke as it felt weird calling him by a different name.
He got upset and told me that I was being rude to him. My father got involved telling us to behave like men and stop squabbling between eachother. The rest of the family kept quiet. After about 10 minutes, him and his family left. My mum told me that I shouldn't have been rude like that and just called him by his new name just to please him . But at the same time, my father told me that I shouldn't call him by the new name. AITA? ######
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YTA...
Its really saddening that you have to come here to have it spelled out for you.
You don't know what your cousin is going through inside.. the absolute LEAST you can do is call them by their preferred name, especially considering that the rest of the family is clearly not supportive of them. My heart breaks for Lucy, tbh ######
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Me (20f) and my sister (22f) fought yesterday and im not sure if im in the wrong here.
So my sister is already working in another city, but since the lockdown happened she decided to stay here with the family. She recently broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years because she found out he is cheating on her. We all comforted her and stuff. Its been a week now and she has become a very shitty person.
She doesnt have her own room in our house anymore because we turned her old room into an office. I offered my room because i do have a big bed. But she chose to sleep in my mom's tiny bed. (My mom sleeps alone in her tiny bed).
My mom woke me up last night to ask me if she can sleep in my room, i said yes of course. She said she's so sleepy for hours but my sister wont get up in her bed because she's too "depressed"
This morning i was in the shower while my mom slept on my bed, when i got out of the shower my sister is beside her and just moping around while she's trying to sleep. I know my mom is exhausted and just needed a few hours to rest. I became very annoyed at my sister and told her "get the fuck out of my room, you already took mom's bed, why are you here". She cried, left, and slammed the door. My mom woke up and is now doing chores. Im now more upset because she has woken up our mom and i know she just wanted to rest for a few hours.
Me and my mom have been avoiding her for days now because like i said, she has been very annoying lately.
I know its very difficult to break up with someone you loved for seven whole years. But do you really have to be a very crappy person??? We were supportive of her but now nobody in this house talks to her except my brother. Am i the asshole here???? ######
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YTA.. You say that you were "very supportive of her' in one line and then you tell her to F off, avoid her and you think she is a crappy person? Her life has had 3 major upheavals (r/ship, home & COVID) maybe offer her a shoulder to lean on and a bit of support and you might actually improve your relationship and potentially help her out of a dark place ❤❤ She is family after all. I'd love to have a sister! ######
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I didn’t pay for it all me and my brothers chipped into it and helped buy her a new car (which is essential to her right now). My wife doesn’t need a new car right now as much she she might want one. Her car is a little old (2012) and has had some problems but I fixed those issues.
My wife’s angry and bitter right now. She also has her own job, so I don’t think it’s my responsibility to buy her a new car right now. I make more money than her but still, she doesn’t absolutely need one right now.
She told me she can’t believe she’s been asking me for awhile and I “go behind her back” and do this for my mom, like she’s just a stranger.
Who is in the wrong? ######
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YTA..
You didnt bother telling her you were doing it- sneaky or terrible communication?
That's a large amount if money to take from the family without some kind of discussion. Even if you knew for sure it wouldn't hurt anything, its basic courtesy to confirm that everyone is okay with the purchase.
You dismiss your wife's desire for a car. She's an adult and should have some say when she gets a car. It sounds like you are the ruler making that decision by yourself. ######
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So my friends and I \[all 17M\] were talking on discord while playing league of legends. We were about to win but my friend did something stupid causing us all died. I got mad and jokingly cursed my friend's dead mother and hoped he would join her in the grave. When I did this though, he ended the call and fucking exited the game which meant we were 4 against 5 and lost. I texted my friend wtf is wrong with him and why the hell did he exit but he left it seen and then blocked me. Some of my friends said that I overreacted and should apologize but others agreed with me that he overreacted and shouldn't have left the game. None of my other friends get mad when I do these jokes with them. In a way I can sympathize him because his mother died not too long ago and his relationship with his father is horrible so maybe that's why he is this sensible and can't take a joke. I still believe he overreacted though. What do you guys think?
Edit: For the people saying it's just a game and I can just replay it. It doesn't work like that. When you lose a game you lose stuff which makes your division lower and it becomes harder to climb back up. ######
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YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA.
You are absolutely the most massive AH here. I say this with the full authority of someone whose mother has passed. Is it not okay to joke about that. He didn't overreact, you joked about one of the worst moments in his life, in most people's lives. What's even worse is that it happened recently. You don't get to hide being a jerk behind 'it was just a joke'.
He gets to be sensitive about this. You don't get to joke about it. I can't believe any part of you thinks that 'he is being sensitive and can't take a joke'. You don't sound like you apologized either.
I sincerely hope that you're a troll and that people this insensitive don't actually exist. ######
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On my way to bed, I realized I had to send an important email before tomorrow.
While I was writing this email, my wife asked me if the parent of our kid's friend's full name was [redacted]. I told her I didn't know. Then she wanted to know what autodeposit on electronic funds transfer was. I told her it was pretty much what it sounds like. Then she asked whether that meant [redacted] had an account at the same bank as her. I told her I had no idea. At this point I'd completely lost my train of thought with the email, so when she asked me why someone would get autodeposit, I snapped at her and said "what are you trying to do?" She said she was sending [redacted] some money we owed her for some kid-related activity.
I put down my laptop and walked over to her quickly and said something along the lines of "let me see that", looked at her screen was like "if this is the email address you have for [redatcted], then it's probably going to transfer money to [redacted], but if you don't think the name is right, then don't do it." I was very curt with her and stomped back over to my laptop and tried to get back to my email.
Now I feel like an asshole because she told me I hurt her feelings and went off to bed. I could have told her I was in the middle of something. She also could have been a lot more explicit about what she was trying to figure out, instead of interrupting me every few minutes for 10 minutes.
Shit. Pretty sure AITA after reading this. ######
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YTA. Your wife was innocently trying to ask some questions and because you can’t multi task you snapped at her. If you really wanted that time to focus you could have nicely said “I can help you in x minutes I just need to finish this.” and she would have realized that you needed to focus. She can’t read your mind and anticipate that you needed to focus that hard on what you were doing. ######
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My daughter (26F) got married December 2019 to her partner of 6 years.
My daughter came out 13years ago but started dating a boy when she was 14, they dated for 4 years when she got pregnant and things ended between them, he isn’t involved.
My daughter eventually told me her mother had convinced her she wasn’t normal and that’s why she started dating a boy.
When my daughter introduced her then girlfriend to us I’ll admit my wife was a little cold towards her then girlfriend and she’d occasionally try to set my daughter up with men, they spent three years of only arguing.
My wife worked hard while my daughter was growing up, we both did, and it’s one of my many regrets that we weren’t around for our daughter as much as we should’ve been, my wife wasn’t around for many of the big moments in our daughters life (first breakup, first period which I had to teach our daughter about, school plays)
My wife started trying to make up for her behaviour and has educated herself on the topic, they’d been going shopping and spending days together and they seemed closer than ever.
My daughter phoned me requesting I come to the wedding, but not her mother and telling me it wasn’t her call to make.
I asked several times and got told no, when I told my wife she spent an entire week crying in bed.
When I asked my daughter why I got told; we’re not there yet and I may have forgiven her but it’s just not something I think I’ll move on from.
Then why tell her mother she forgave her? I refused to go to the wedding without my wife, we still paid 50% and looked after our granddaughter.
We still talk every day and she’s not bought it up but my sister keeps bringing it up every chance she can and insists I’m the asshole.
AITA? ######
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YTA. Your wife made your daughter's teenage/young adult years quite difficult, those scars will probably take a lifetime to heal. Just because your wife has come around recently doesn't mean the slate is wiped clean. You should always support your child and not prioritize your asshole of a spouse. ######
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One of my sons is in his mid twenties, a recently qualified doctor and has seemingly no regard for his own life. My other son showed me his youtube channel (fake name, face covered etc but it's without question his poorly hidden voice) where he's recorded himself doing idiotic things such as 100mph wheelies on his motorbike at an abandoned airfield 30 miles from my house (which I hated him getting in the first place), pull ups from 20 storey buildings, jumping gaps between buildings etc. I was obviously shocked and terrified for his health, brought it up with him at which point he told me it was none of his business what he did in his spared time and he's only risking his own health. We argued about it for months, which ended in me threatening to tell my countries medical council. He acted unphased by this and since nothing else was getting anywhere with him, I did in the end report him.
He's refused to speak to me since although according to brother it looks like he isn't going to face a permanent ban or anything, just a stern telling off (like I hoped would happen). Wife is on my side but rest of family are staying out of, although I feel as if it goes without saying I'm in the right considering I reported when nothing would get through to him apart from the threat of losing his job. AITA? ######
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YTA. Your son is an adult with a high-pressured job. So he enjoys doing extreme sports. He isn't hurting anyone. It's none of your business and you crossed the line. You were unhappy with him so you called up his work and jeopardise his position. I am surprised if he ever wants to have anything to do with you again. ######
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My 16yo son has always HATED school. He does well, but is bored. His counselor suggested taking short-term elective summer classes. Those classes would count towards his high school credits when he starts his senior year. His counselor also suggested taking community college courses that would satisfied required classes that he would have to take as a junior or senior (i.e. history, poly sci). The community college classes would be free, online and would count towards his college degree. The goal was that by the time he started his senior year, he would only have to take a couple of bullshit classes and stay at school for a couple of hours a day. Literally, he could come to school at 10AM and leave by noon. That really excited him.
After two years of summer school and online community college classes, he has accrued so many credits that he could hypothetically graduate in 2021 instead of 2022. My son really wanted to do this and I said no. My fear is that he will regret it. He doesn't know anyone in the class of 2021 and will miss out socially. Plus , if he were to graduate early then he would resume going to community college full-time on-campus and I don't think he's ready for that sudden change. ######
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YTA. Your son has worked hard to accumulate credits. You're robbing him of the benefits of his hard work. If he graduates early, he can go to college early, get a career started early, etc.
You should be encouraging his work ethic, not throttling it. ######
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About a week ago one of my sister's friends was kicked out of his house by his mom. The kid is very nice but it is sort of a pain to have another person in the house. The house is now really cramped and it's making me very stir crazy. My parents told me the other day he will be with us for another 3 months. They never asked me if I was fine with it or anything like that. I just came home one day and they just said he'll be staying with us. WIBTA if I complained about this kid staying with us? ######
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YTA. Your sister’s friend isn’t a foster kid. She was basically kicked out of her family’s home.
And what were they supposed to do if you said no: “Oh no, we can’t take you in because [OP] doesn’t want another person. Sorry, you’re on your own.”
It’s okay if you’re annoyed and frustrated with an extra person in the house but keep your mouth shut ######
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This has been an ordeal for over a year. My ex-fiancé and I broke up over a year ago. Since then, I have moved in with my bf. I have been trying to get my bed back since fall of last year. After we broke up, I moved out and agreed to give him a few months to look for a new bed. In the fall I asked for my bed, and he complained he hadn’t had the time to look for a bed. So I told him I’d give him a couple months. Then after new year’s I told him I would be sending movers to retrieve the bed. Again, he procrastinated. Now, he’s using the quarantine as another excuse.
I have had it with his delay tactics. I told him I would be sending movers at the end of June. I told him if I don’t get my bed, I would suggest to my bf to fire him. He didn’t take the threat well. He cursed at me, verbally attacked me, and basically said I don’t really need the bed because I am putting it in the guest room. I reminded him that isn’t the point and that it is my bed. I want to get this done asap so I don’t have to contact him ever again.
I don’t understand why he is acting like a child. By refusing to return my property, he is showing his true character and I can’t imagine anyone wanting him on their payroll. ######
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YTA. Your relationship problems have nothing to do with his work. Itd be highly unprofessional of you to mix the two.
If he works for your current boyfriend, your boyfriend should himself get fired if he terminated an employee without legitimate cause, because his girlfriend told him to. ######
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So I’m not very good at cooking, I can make about two dishes, fried eggs, and scrambled eggs. Except the scrambled eggs are bad. I don’t enjoy cooking and I don’t have the time for it either.
My girlfriend loves cooking, it’s one of her favourite hobbies and she is great at it, can even make her own pasta and all.
She cooks almost all the time, and when it is up to me to sort dinner I never cook, I always order take away or get really easy to make microwave meals, although I try to keep it healthy. Recently she started complaining that I don’t do any cooking and that the meals are rarely any good when its my turn, so I offered to pick different places or get different meals but she insists that unless I start learning to cook and cook meals then I’m being a jerk because our relationship is “unbalanced”.
Here is my point, if I were cooking for myself I would do the exact same. I do not expect or demand of her to cook, if she wanted to she could order us takeaway and I would accept that. She is cooking from her own choice, and I don’t believe that that means I should have to cook too. I asked my closest friend and he was torn on this.
So AITA? ######
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YTA. Your posting history, even here in AITA, makes me think that you refuse to cook partially because you view women as subservient — you called a woman “property” in another AITA comment specifically. Learning to cook doesn’t make you effeminate, look at all the cooking shows hosted by men if you need someone to look up to. Your GF can help teach you too. ######
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A just over 3 years ago while I was at work my ex packed up and left with the kids. I had gone to work on the road cause she was always complaining about money. I dont know what her deal was sometimes the bills were late. She was a stay at home mom cause I think kids need a parent at home.
Anyways it was her parents that convinced her to leave. I never liked her dad he never gave me any respect. Always on me to work harder. And didnt like that I smoked weed even though it's legal. I figure cause it was her parents who convinced her to leave they are rich enough they can pay for what ever the kids need. Clearly I wasnt good enough.
I get to see my kids some times. I have an order but I skip sometimes cause I just cant stand my exs dad judging me. They never say much except to tell me if the kids are sick or grumpy. But I can tell they judge me. They did refuse to bring the kids to me once cause some asshole told them I was on something the night before. But I was sober when the kids where due.
I am delay child support as much as possible. I figure if I have to go threw that much work I have paid enough. But my new girlfriend has said I should probably stop being an asshole and pay for my kids. AITA? ######
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YTA. Your kids, your responsibility.
It’s not their fault the adults in their lives have issues to work out. But you all need to figure it out so your kids don’t get caught in the crossfire. ######
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I’m 23, my gf is 20, and we’ve been together for 2.5 years.
I’m in a group chat with a few of my boys and some girls. These particular girls do not like my girlfriend. They’ve never really known each other but my gf caught them talking crap about her so she confronted them and since then, they don’t like her. I wouldn’t consider these girls my friends either but they happen to be in the group and I don’t like starting drama so it is what it is.
Even though my gf doesn’t like them, she hasn’t made a huge fuss about me being in the group chat and she was even cool about me going on a weekend trip to a cabin with all of them.
They started up a game in the group chat where everybody was calling each other out and asking questions. One of the girls said towards me “don’t let your girlfriend influence what you think about other people”. One of my guy friends asked me “out of all the girls you’ve been with, who’s your favorite?” Obviously I said my girlfriend. One of the girls “haha” reacted to my reply. He replied “that’s a cop out lmao”. Another of the girls asked me “why do you act different when you’re with us vs when you’re with her”. I guess she was trying to imply that I pretend to not like them in front of my gf for her sake but that’s not true.
Anyways, I told my gf about all of this and she started crying. She said I don’t bother to defend her and that they shouldn’t be disrespecting her or our relationship and I’m just letting them do it. She thinks my guy friend was sneak dissing by asking which girl is my favorite. I feel like she was overreacting. I don’t say anything because I don’t want to cause any drama. I don’t care what they think about my gf. She was really upset and we ended up talking about it for hours with no resolution. I told her I just really didn’t care and she shouldn’t either. AITA? ######
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YTA. Your gf proved she trusted you by not making a big deal about you going to a cabin with them or talking to them in general. But you didn't show she could trust you when you didn't stick up for her. The girls are clearly trying to drive a wedge between the 2 of you, and your gf knows that but trusted you. You're acting like the girls' feelings are more important than your girlfriends. ######
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Ok so I asked her if she wanted to play a game with me sense we can't meetup in person and the only one that fit the criteria was dbx2.
We both start playing around the same time and I get past the tutorial and decide to wait for her to finish. I start doing random story and side missions while I wait, she sits there doing the tutorial. I ask if she needs help she says no so I keep doing missions. 2 hours later she is still on the tutorial, at this point she says I'll try again tommorow and I immediately say I cant believe you wasted time on that instead of just saying you did not want to play it. she says she does and I hang up now she's confused I'm annoyed and we've both gotten no where. ######
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YTA. Your gf is clearly not comfortable/good at that particular video game. It takes some people a long time to learn and get comfortable with the controls for certain games. You acted like a huge asshole by essentially calling her an idiot for not getting the game with the same ease you do. This is a huge red flag and if you don't shape up and get some more patience, I don't think you'll have a gf for very much longer. ######
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A close friend of mine that I’ve known for a number of years decided to pull me aside and tell me it was yucky to invite my newish gf to a get-together and not grab her bill at the end of the night. His point was that it was a small amount (around 20 bucks per person) and that my gf said she was a student meanwhile I worked full-time with a decent salary. He said I was the one who extended the invitation and it looked tacky when I split the bill.
I told him that I don’t see it that way. It’s not date night. She could’ve declined to come. I also didn’t discuss how I do finances with her yet since this is a relationship in the earlier stages. I do pay more often when it’s date nights, but gatherings should be different. I don’t see my friend overstepping since I know he is just looking out for me, but I fail to see it from his pov.
So Reddit, tell me, AITA? ######
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YTA. Your friend is nosy, but correct. Hanging out with your friends is a little bit a favor she is doing you. Hopefully she gets along with your friends, and it's a favor she enjoys doing. But especially on a student budget, it would be nice if she didn't have to pay to hang out with your friends. ######
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So I used to live with my roommate and she had a friend who needed to stay for 2 weeks. I won't go into to much detail but shwas escaping an abusive situation and she had to wait to move in to her new apartment. I never really saw her, she was out most of the time and only came back to sleep but I was still uncomfortable with a stranger living in my apartment. I put my foot down after 1 week and tolf my roommate that she needed to kick her friend out. She looked upset and asked why and that her friend is really quiet and isnt home most of the time. I told her I didn't need to explain myself and she went to bed crying.
The next day she came up to me and told me she was moving out and she's going to live with her friend. I immediately panicked because I couldn't afford to live there by myself but she was adamant and she moved out that day and continued paying rent until the lease was up which was 2 months after she moved out.
I had to move back in with my parents and I messaged her telling her she's a is a huge piece of shit and I did nothing wrong. She sent back a long, angry message about how I was disrespectful to her friend and I need to stop being such an entitled bitch. I blocked her.
I know I was in the right until I messaged her and I am not sure if I was in the wrong for what I said. AITA? ######
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YTA. Your entire attitude was shitty. There was someone in your apt whom you never even saw and you got this aggressively angry and uncompromising?? You’re a huge asshole for your complete and total lack of communication skills. Quite honestly I think you got exactly what you deserved and you were never in the right. ######
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She’s 6 months away from being 18 so by then it’ll be out of my hands but until then I don’t want her to cut her hair, and I’d rather see her not get it cut for a very long time. She has beautiful long brown hair (down to her hips) and she wants it cut just below her ears but that would mean a lot of hair to be cut off so she’d lose her hair that she’s been growing for years without a cut. She says that it’s gotten too long that it’s high maintenance and gets tangled and messy easily but I think when she handles it, it looks nice and there’s no need to have it cut. I don’t want her hair to ever be cut (or at least for a while) and I rather not allow it but she’s always bringing it up and has even argued once and asked why I get to get my hair cut but not her, but that reason is because my hair needs to be cut because it’s not as healthy as hers since she’s young and I’m an older woman. Not to mention long hair like hers wouldn’t suit me. But since it does in her case, she should not get her hair cut. I want her to keep the long hair. ######
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YTA. Your daughter is not a doll ######
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I have a daughter (16F) and a few weeks ago she sat me down and told me that she was struggling with purging. She said it was due to mental issues going on with school and her friends, and she talked about how she was feeling sad all the time.
In response, I told her to start a journal and think of at least three positive thoughts a day and that would help. However, when I told a friend of mine about it she said I should put her in therapy, as I should not be trying to deal with her mental health issues.
Personally, I do not think this is about mental health. My daughter is always smiling and happy with her friends, and it seems as though she only tells me these things when she wants something (i.e. to be allowed to hang out with her boyfriend). I have a hard time buying that she's actually dealing with mental illness, and I don't want her to be put on medication because she's a minor and it's probably her hormones.
So, AITA? ######
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YTA. Your daughter has literally come to you asking for help and you’re blatantly ignoring her. My parents thought I was a happy kid too until I took a bottle of pills at 13. Then they thought I was fine without therapy until I was 18 and they saw my scars. How would you feel if she hurt herself after asking for help because you thought she just wanted to see her boyfriend? Get her into therapy and if for whatever reason she is fine the therapist will be able to figure that out and work with her on why she was behaving that way however I think you need to believe your kid before you lose her here. ######
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My wife is terminally ill. Because of that, she has been unable to show me any forms of physical affection and the spark in our marriage is nonexistent.
We cannot divorce because the legal logistics would rattle shareholders in our company. Therefore, she agreed I could see others if I kept it away from the family.
I have been dating this woman for about a year. At first we were careful not to show PDA when we went out but over time she told me how much that hurts so we started being affectionate when we were out on dates.
A few months ago, somebody from my daughter’s school took a picture of me kissing my partner and posted it on social media. My daughter ended up throwing a tantrum because it was a topic at her school and she got a bunch of comments and questions.
I explained that it was an agreement that her mom and I had, and I deserve to be happy.
Things have just cooled down, but for my birthday yesterday, my partner ended up sending me a present and a note that said she loved and missed me. She also sent my daughter a card congratulating her on finishing middle school.
My daughter started screaming at me that she wanted this woman out of our lives. My wife also got mad because my daughter was sad, claiming I wasn’t keeping it away from the family and that I let this present thing happen in front of my daughter’s best friend, who she invited over for cake.
However, she forgets that I really wanted to spend time with my girlfriend for my birthday but I abandoned that desire for the sake of the family.
My girlfriend makes me feel loved, and I love her very much. She has given so much to me, and I refuse to let go of my happiness because I feel my daughter would understand if she was older.
AITA? ######
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YTA. Your daughter *isn't* older. She is a young teenager who is about to lose her mother, has been made fun of by classmates because her father is openly involved in an affair, and is now being contacted by her father's mistress. The agreement you made with your wife included you keeping your affairs away from the family, and you're violating that agreement. Also, you are a mega, monster-level asshole for taking your mistress in public so that your *dying wife* also has to deal with the humiliation of being publicly cheated on. Your happiness does not take priority over your child's emotional well-being nor your wife's right to die with dignity and peace knowing that her child will be properly cared for by her father. If your head is too far up your mistress's ass to be able to see what is really important, then you need to cut the mistress loose until you regain proper perspective. ######
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Throwaway I did not want to use my main account
Two years ago my sisters ex boyfriend told us what my sister thinks of my child. My child free sister thinks that my two kids are accidents and she thinks they ruin events and stuff. So after that comment I have stopped going to family events. Recently my mother called and asked me why I don't go to family vacations.
I told her because my sister does not like my kids and says that they ruin family events and my kids make it less fun for her so I stopped coming. I then told my mom if she has a problem with me not coming to family events she can bring it up with my child free sister.
Recently my child free sister came and called me on my phone. She told me she needed me because family members are blaming her for the reason I am not coming to family events and they are spamming her with calls. I told her maybe because they enjoy being around me more and that I did not want to ruin her fun because she hates my children and thinks they destroy family events.
I told her I will start going to family events with two options option a going to events when my sister is not there she makes to every family event or option b my sister learns to live with children aground the family event which will stop famously members from being mad at her. My sister refused and told me to fix this problem because it's my fault I chose to have children. I refused and said no. So AITA for refusing to go to family events because of my child free sister and causing my family members to dislike my sister My childfree sister is mad at me for that ######
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YTA. Your comments keep changing your story, you keep saying "child free sister" like it's disgusting, and you're dragged your whole family in instead of having an adult conversation with her. ######
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I’m 17, and I have a foster sister (16) that’s been with us for around 8 months.
I’m cordial with my foster sister but we don’t really get along. When she first got here I caught her several times trying to wear my clothes, makeup, and trying to use other things that belong to me. We got into big arguments about it, and I feel as if my parents rewarded her by buying her her own stuff sometimes, while not getting new stuff for me.
Yesterday, my friend invited me and foster sister out to their family lake where we were going to hang out with some other friends. Some people in my friend group from school like foster sister, so they wanted her to come. I didn’t, because I find her annoying and I wanted a break from her. Since they messaged her with the invite, I told my parents to check out her messy room. My parents are pretty strict about that so I knew they wouldn’t let her go.
I sent her a text saying I’m sorry she couldn’t go and told her that I’d say hello to everyone. She posted a screenshot of it on her IG telling everyone that it was my fault she couldn’t go. A couple of my friends text me and asked me what my problem was, and others piped up about not letting me come either. Because everyone was getting mad at me, I posted pics that I took of her room, so that I could show the real reason that she couldn’t come.
She must have gotten embarrassed, because she came into my room and immediately started arguing with me.
My parents had to break it up, and she told them what I did. They wouldn’t let me leave either, which I think is completely unfair.
My mom is super mad at me and won’t listen to anything I have to say. I posted the pic because she was trying to make me look like the asshole in front of my friends. She knows my parents like the room kept clean, and if it was done she would have been able to go so I don’t think It’s my fault. My parents aren’t even talking to me, so if feel like maybe I did wrong.
AITA for posting the pic? ######
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YTA. Your attitude sucks. Your parents bought her stuff without buying you stuff? Probably because she didn’t have much when she joined your household. That’s also probably the reason for her borrowing your clothes and makeup etc
Have you tried being welcoming?
Ugh. ######
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I’ve been FWB/best friends with this girl for 7 years, since we were 20. We’re monagomous, stay over at each other’s, emotionally support each other and definitely not the typical arrangement. She just graduated with a PHD and due to covid couldn’t really have a party so she was doing a dinner at her place. I’ve made it clear to her that we have no future together and she can’t really expect me to meet her family members and such. And since her parents were going to be there and I didn’t want awkward questions so I skipped it. She later called me sobbing saying that she feels like I use her and that I ruined her night. I kind of feel like a asshole, but I’ve told her before not to expect me to come to these sort of events. And we’re not really in a sort of commuted relationship so I feel like she can’t really expect me to be there for her all the time. I don’t really want to hurt her feelings any further but I also want to draw some boundaries. ######
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YTA. You’ve been “monogamous” fwb? You’re “best friends”? Buddy you’re IN a relationship even if you don’t want to admit it. Call a spade a spade. ######
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Hi guys,
So my sister said I should share this here. I volunteer with middle school kids doing science type stuff because I am a science major about to go to medical school. Anyways, I went to judge at a science fair and they told us there was this big emphasis on them being able to explain things correctly. One little girl was super nervous and was trying to explain a concept I thought was very difficult for someone in her age group to grasp. I told her "Sweetheart, I'm going to stop you here because I think you are nervous, and so I'm going to explain something to you so that you can explain it to other people better next time." Her mom was there and didn't really seem to mind when I was done explaining polarity to her, her mother even asked her if she thought she could explain it better now, to which she replied yes. I also reassured her that I would not dock her in my judging because I thought the concept was a little high level for her and that her inability to explain it had nothing to do with how good her overall project was (it was decent, not amazing). A bunch of my fellow judges were horrified and said I shouldn't have stopped her. I thought it would be better to correct her on the concept instead of knowingly let her explain it wrong to other judges. Everyone else thought I screwed her for the rest of the day by making her more nervous (although judges who went to her after me DID say they were impressed by her). Anyways this is probably dumb, AITA? ######
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YTA. You’re TA for calling her, “sweetheart”. That’s super condescending. Would you have addressed a male student in the same way? She’s not your sweetheart. She’s a student trying to present her project at a science fair. I used to judge middle school science fairs, too, & speaking to adults whom the student may never have seen before is very difficult for middle schoolers. It’s an intimidating situation for them, & it’s important for the judges to treat them with respect. ######
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So due to recent events, I(20f) am no longer able to live at my college dorms and have moved back in with my parents. My mom has been sick for over 2 weeks now, nothing serious just a pretty bad cold. My dad used to make meals for me and her, but since he has a very strict diet, he was having to make a separate meal for both himself and us every night and it left him with very little free time.
Since my mom is sick, he asked for me to take over making meals. My mom uses hello fresh, so the recipes are fairly easy to follow. But at the same time, I have very little experience with cooking so it often takes me much longer than it would someone with more cooking experience. At first I didn’t mind cooking for us every night, it was good practice, but now it’s almost 3 weeks later and I’m still making dinner almost every night, I only get breaks if we order out.
I feel like maybe my mom is feeling well enough that she should be able to at least make dinner some nights. She’s still coughing some, but at the same time she’s much better than she was a couple weeks ago. Last night she FaceTimed with her friends and was being super rambunctious, she also got absolutely wasted. She also seems fully capable of making herself snacks and treats when she wants them. I just feel like if she’s able to do all that, she should be able to help out with dinners.
I just worry I’ll come across as lazy or selfish if I ask her to start cooking dinners again. So what do you think reddit, WIBTA? ######
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YTA. You’re living at home rent free, you can cook. ######
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Right so here goes - I'm 17 M and I live at home with my parents and my younger sister.
It was my Dad's birthday a few days ago and he turned 55. My mum was joking around about him being old and my Dad said something like "yeah well in two years you'll be 50" as like a joke as well. And that's when it hit me that my mum is 7 years younger than my Dad.
I know it sounds dumb cos like I always knew their ages but I never really put it together, but they're 7 years difference between them. And I know they got together when my mum was young, like 18 or 19 so my dad was like 26 or whatever, which is only a year and a bit older than I am, and the thought of getting with someone in their late 20s is just gross and weird.
So I kinda flipped out and basically said like their relationship was a bit gross and like unusual.
I also feel annoyed because I'm 17 and my Dad is 55 and it's like, my mum chose to get with an older guy and give me an older dad. It's never gotten in the way of anything like he's always been quite active and fit but it annoys me that I could've had a younger Dad like most people.
Anyway my parents are a little upset with me but I feel like I wasn't accusing them of anything, I was more just surprised and think it's a little unusual? I don't know if I should apologise. It's bothering me a lot. Thanks.
AITA ######
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YTA. You’re 17, and they were consenting adults, and things were different 35+ years ago. Different responsibilities meant that perhaps they weren’t necessarily in different stages of their lives and could see eye to eye.
Neither you mom nor your dad seem resentful, angry, sad, or anything of the sort, and they’re still married to this day, so they were both clearly ok with their situation.
I understand where you’re coming from, but yeah. You have no right to say their relationship is gross. And “i have an older dad” is ridiculous. You sound like a brat. ######
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I have an 18 and 21yo boys. My relationship with my 18yo is strained because I do far more for my other son and have no shame about it. The reason is that my 21yo is fiercely independent and rarely asks for help even when he should. He feels uncomfortable asking or getting help from anyone. On the rare times that he does ask for help, he is very good at repaying back whatever the help is in anyway that he can. He doesn't like to feel entitled to anyone. My other son is becoming a mooch and is very give an inch, take a mile. He is very good at manipulating people. I've told him that his act hasn't worked on me since he was 11.
I recently bought my 21yo a nice car and put him on my insurance. My 18yo either walks or takes the bus. I could buy him a car, but he would see that my spoiling him and it will open a whole new can of worms to see what else he can get. Had I gotten him a car, he would probably would have asked for customization or complained about not having a sunroof. He didn't get a car, but his brother did so there is a lot of tension in the house. My 21yo is just happy he doesn't have to walk or take the bus. ######
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YTA. You've told your younger son he's manipulative and spoiled since he was 11, all the while showing clear favouritism for his older brother. You've given your older son gifts and help he didn't ask for, and seem to be waiting for your younger son to get upset about it so you can continue to call him spoiled and entitled.
I hope your younger son gets away from you and into therapy. ######
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While the company I [21F] intern at was preparing to switch to wfh protocol, my boss’s [38?M] wife [3?F] came into the office to help him move his computers and stuff more quickly. I saw her car idling outside the building and stopped to say hello. She snarked back something about telling it to my coworker, who would drunkenly repeat it back to her later. I asked what she meant and she said that only losers hate trophies.
I pretty much knew she was talking about something I said to my coworker about finding my boss attractive. He’s a normal to good looking dude, but so smart and cool and pretty much the perfect catch if he were single. I told my coworker in confidence that he is so great that he didn’t seem like the type to go for a trophy wife.
I know his wife has a good career, but it’s in a female dominated industry that is also both her parents’ profession. She gets raises every year for doing the same thing slightly differently, where my boss is a go getter who is always looking for the next challenge. She can be reactive and kind of rude, like she was to me that day. My boss is laid back and hates to hurt people. All the partners think she’s a riot and grossly tease my boss for “landing” a woman like her, but other interns find her to be a bit sharp. Like I see the obvious attraction but was just surprised a guy like him who is so down to earth and genuine could fall for her looks when they seem so mismatched.
I guess my coworker repeated this to the wife (I guess to curry favor???) because she was so snarky to me. My boss has been short with me over email, where he was once friendly. It’s been long enough now that I can’t ignore the shift in tone and am wondering if it was that big of a deal.
AITA for telling a coworker my thoughts? It’s not like I made a move on him for him to me acting awkward or for his wife to be mad. ######
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YTA. You've gotten a great lesson in the importance of discretion in the workplace. Not only is your boss looking at you differently now, but many other people also probably see you as envious of the wife and as trying to insert yourself into their relationship. You're awfully judgmental of the wife's career in an assholish way, too. Hopefully you've learned: if you must vent these kinds of opinions, vent them to friends you don't work with. Don't put a lot of trust in co-workers who are eager to badmouth others in such a personal way. Hope you weren't relying on them for a good reference. ######
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Happened earlier today. I decided to go for my evening run that I have been conducting everyday for the past couple weeks. On the route I take, there is a particular house that is a little bit worn down and has a small dog that does ape shit crazy every time someone walks by the house. The house is fenced off and the fence comes up to my waist. The small dog has been barking at me for the past three weeks, every time I run past the house. As I was jogging past the house this evening, like clockwork the little shit started barking up a storm. I decided this time around that I was gonna show this little dog who the alpha male was so that it would stop ruining my evening runs. As it was barking at me, I made I contact with the dog, went straight up to the fence and started barking at the dog. The dog got scared and ran into it’s dog house. Just as I thought I had solved my dog problem the owner comes out from behind a bush with gardening gloves on and starts berating me for scaring her dog. I told the lady that she is a shitty dog parent and that if she did a better job socializing her dog it wouldn’t be such a menace to the passerby’s. She freaked out and told me to f*ck off. AITA for barking at the dog? ######
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YTA. You're running PAST the house. Realistically, how long could the dog be barking at you anyway? 30 seconds? What kind of person can't ignore a dog barking in their own yard for 30 seconds? You're behavior was extremely immature. And then to verbally attack the owner after she defended her dog? WTF? Honestly...🤦♀️ ######
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My daughter \[14F\] has been drawing ever since she was 9. Her drawings are really good and I am honestly impressed by how realistic she manages to draw certain things on her iPad. My son \[10M\] also wants to start drawing and hopes to become as good as his sister. I told him to use his sisters cartons and crayons to start practicing and that next week (this Monday) I will buy him too.
Well, yesterday he wasted a lot of his sisters cartons because he kept failing while he was attempting to draw until his sister had enough and told him that this is the last carton she’s giving him. After she gave him the last carton he finally started drawing with attention and probably spent an hour and a half on it. When he was done he came to me and showed me what he did. I honestly couldn’t tell what animal he attempted to draw based on his painting but in the end I assumed it was a dragon since it was breathing fire. He asked me about my opinion and I told him that I honestly think the art was bad and he shouldn’t have wasted all his sisters cartons for it but also not to worry about it because with enough practice he is going to become good at drawing. My husband was mad about my response and told me that I should have just said it was good and encourage him to continue (I did though) and that his art was actually pretty good for a beginner.
I thought my response to my son was reasonable because although I told him his drawing was bad I still encouraged him to keep going and not give up, that was until today when he came to me and told me not to buy him the art supplies because he doesn’t want to draw anymore. I felt bad because I feel like it’s my fault and my husband obviously didn’t lose the opportunity to call me out for it. AITA? ######
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YTA. You're right: his deciding not to pursue drawing is 100% your fault for the discouragement there. Nice job! ######
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