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Due to reasons, I’m staying at my parents’ house till i can go back to my city. Unfortunately since none of my other siblings are home, i’m tasked with caring for my sister. She has autism and down syndrome. She’s also 19, and very very moody. I had to buy groceries, and my mom made her tag along with me.
From the minute we stepped foot in the store, it was non stop bullshit. Random grunts, and mini tantrums over NOTHING. What could’ve been a quick trip, turned into almost 2 hours of agony. Now here’s where things took an even worse turn.
As we were at the checkout, she suddenly throws a tantrum. Starts crying (it sounded fake, no tears) LOUDLY. Starts flailing her arms, gesturing wildly. At this point i’ve had enough, and she wouldn’t budge. So i walked out with everything, got in the car, and circled around the lot a couple of times. I found her at the same spot in front of the store, still crying, which pissed me off even more. We got back home, and she was still crying. I told my mother what happened, and she got pissed. AITA?
Edit: forgot to mention she’s non verbal. ######
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ESH (except your sister). Did your mom actually try to ask your sister if she wanted to go to the store or did she just force her along because she's non-verbal and couldn't dispute it? It doesn't sound like your sister wanted to be at the store in the first place and was overwhelmed and stressed out. It may have seemed like tantrums over "nothing" to you, but you have to understand that someone with autism lives a very different sensory experience from you. When I go to the grocery store, even the fluorescent lights vaguely fluctuating can make me start to panic and I'm """high functioning""" (for all the good that term does). Did you try to calm her down or give her time to relax, or were you dragging her along and ignoring her distress while continuing to put her in noisy situations? Was the store busy?
It doesn't sound like your parents have helped instill a very good communication method for your sister and it seems like she doesn't know how to communicate her distress outside of having these meltdowns. Please, for her and your good, [research ways to communicate with non-verbal individuals](https://autisticadvocacy.org/2014/02/color-communication-badges/) (never look at autismspeaks or the national autistic society) and try out some of these methods with her in the future. Going through the world without being able to express herself must be deeply frustrating for her. ######
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My wife a little while back mentioned to me that she had made a deal with our daughter who just turned 14 that if she gets straight As on her report card she will take her to get her ears pierced again.
I was assuming my wife just meant a 3rd pair of holes as our daughter already had 2 and said it was fine. Well last night at the dinner table our daughter was discussing with her mother about getting her ear pierced all the way up for achieving good grades.
I asked my daughter how many piercings she was planning on getting and was told about 6 more on one ear. Myself just responded back saying that ain't going to happen and then it was revealed that her mother said she could. I told her that I say no and she needs both parents approval.
My wife chatted to me about it later and said she made the deal to motivate our daughter to study but did not think it would actually happen. She told me that she is not happy about the piercings either but can't take back the deal.
I told my wife that I thought the number of piercings were way too much and thought getting them up in the cartilage was not a good idea. My wife acknowledged my concerns but basically said I would look like an Asshole if I tell our daughter she can no longer have the piercings. ######
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ESH (except for the child of course) - your wife should have let you know, and you shouldn't have undermined the kid's mum in front of her. Sounds like the two of you need to communicate more clearly as the kid will feel like she's getting punished now even though she didn't do anything wrong. ######
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Throwaway account for obvious reasons. Here’s a backstory: My brother (16M) and I (18F) have a horrible relationship. We live in the same house with my parents, and we rarely speak to each other. I’ve never ever touched any of his belongings because frankly why would I want to. He has nothing that I want to do with. Lately, he’s been touching my belongings and has went in my room twice to do God knows what. I haven’t noticed anything off in my room, however when we were younger he would tell me how he used to put deodorant (and who knows what else) on my toothbrush if I got on his nerves or made him mad. This resonates with me as he has slammed my bedroom door shut and I’ve seen him leave my room and ignore me when I ask what he wants. I’ve told my parents about this and they talked to him, but he told them I was being annoying and left. They haven’t tried again after that. So recently, I bought a keypad to hook on my door, but I told my parents to pay for it as they can’t seem teach him to respect other people’s belongings and that I shouldn’t have to resort to this if everyone just minds their own. So WIBTA for making them pay for my lock on my door? ######
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ESH - Your brother shouldn't be going into your room and touching your stuff. You're parents also should not be allowing him to do so.
If you wanted your parents to pay for it you should have asked before doing so, you can't just buy something and then demand people give you money for it. You're 18, which means that you're an adult and if you want something, you pay for it. ######
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Throwaway account for obvious reasons. Here’s a backstory: My brother (16M) and I (18F) have a horrible relationship. We live in the same house with my parents, and we rarely speak to each other. I’ve never ever touched any of his belongings because frankly why would I want to. He has nothing that I want to do with. Lately, he’s been touching my belongings and has went in my room twice to do God knows what. I haven’t noticed anything off in my room, however when we were younger he would tell me how he used to put deodorant (and who knows what else) on my toothbrush if I got on his nerves or made him mad. This resonates with me as he has slammed my bedroom door shut and I’ve seen him leave my room and ignore me when I ask what he wants. I’ve told my parents about this and they talked to him, but he told them I was being annoying and left. They haven’t tried again after that. So recently, I bought a keypad to hook on my door, but I told my parents to pay for it as they can’t seem teach him to respect other people’s belongings and that I shouldn’t have to resort to this if everyone just minds their own. So WIBTA for making them pay for my lock on my door? ######
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ESH - your brother shouldn't be going into your room and doing god knows what with your things. However, you bought the keypad and THEN told your parents they would have to pay for it. If you wanted to go this route then you should have spoken to your parents first. ######
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Throwaway for obvious reasons, mandatory apology for the bad formatting.
I (19f) have a friend, lets call him Thomas, basically hes been on a paypig website, ( men will pay money to have women insult them or humiliate them) on this website its mainly anonymous, a fake screen name and a few photos, and there aren't many gay guys he can profit from, that being said hes asked to use my pictures to essentially catfish these guys. At first i didn't have an issue with this, he said we'd split the profit 50/50. He would ask me to send pictures with my finger on my nose, things like that because the guy wanted to know if it was really me etc. No big deal.
Hes made about 2000 dollars since this has started, and we've split it evenly. I asked him to stop using my photos because the requests for photos he'd been asking me for were getting extreme and making me uncomfortable.( pictures of me trying to lick my toes things like that) He agreed and understood.
Im just finding out that hes been getting photos off my snapchat stories, and my instagram to use and send to these guys while still making money. I asked him about it and he said hed send me 100 dllars out of the 1000 he made. I asked for the 500, because A) Its me in the photos and B) because i asked him to stop. He sent me the money and has been really passive aggressive.
AITA? ######
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ESH - you’re both terrible ######
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For context - I'm back in my hometown, staying with my parents, grandfather and sister in a small apartment which has only two bedrooms. Needless to say, this has led to cabin fever.
Today, my sister came to me with some news related to her job offer (they have delayed the joining date and reduced the salary) and I wasn't properly sympathetic because I was in the middle of some work (total asshole here, I agree).
Later, when talking to her and my mother things got heated because I hadn't displayed proper empathy to my sister. My mother got angry, and when she gets angry she starts screaming. She started telling me off and complaining about how much my sister and I fight.
Now, my parents have a very contentious marriage. I have grown up witnessing bitter fights every day, and my mother's constant complaining of my dad not living up to her expectations.
Back to the situation - I got fed up with my mother's screaming and I said well you shouldn't complain about us, you and dad fight too so how is this different.
Me saying this was unforgivable, and I have no right to comment on their marriage.
AITA? ######
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ESH - you don’t win arguments by saying the meanest thing. But obviously, it’s clear where you learnt this behaviour.
If I was you I would focus less on being right in an argument and really work on learning to respectfully communicate. While, so far, in a family who all fights the same toxic way, you probably haven’t seen any real consequences of your behaviour (or anyone else’s behaviour). But in reality, this will greatly impact your ability to have healthy relationships in the future. It won’t be easy because your parents have set a default, but you can do it if you really try to change. Good luck. ######
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so i (f38) am a spinster. I live alone, don't have a husband or kids, and i like it that way. My sister (f34) is different, though. She's very [W.A.S.Py](https://W.A.S.Py) and tries to be perfect. She has a husband and 2 kids, and doesn't work. I have no problem with her lifestyle, until now. Her oldest is 12, and her youngest is 2 years.
So her and her husband got evicted, and since she is my sister i let her stay at my place. It started off fine, but it went sour quicky. Her oldest kid doesn't bother me, he mainly just plays video games on his phone or sleeps, and he's very respectful towards me. But her youngest is the devil in disguise. He constantly screams, tries to ruin or play with my things or just annoys you.
Yesterday, while i was sleeping and my sisters husband was at work (he works at a grocery store, i make money by selling paintings.), i was awoken by the sound of her youngest son just screaming happily and went up to see what the little demon was doing now. He was drawing in one of my books. I have alot of books about witchcraft and feminism from the 1960s-1990s that my aunt gave me that i value alot because she died and they are my only memory of her that aren't in my head or on a picture. I became enraged and started yelling at him. He started crying and ran to the room where his and his brother sleeps. I then spent then entire evening trying to restore the book back to normal. Later, his mom came to me, says he's sad and said i should apologize to him and say that i didn't mean the things i said. I absolutely did and i feel not one bit sorry for the kid, and that damaging property is a vaild reason to be yelled at. She called me a asshole
AITA? ######
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ESH - you could have scolded without cursing out the child. At his age, it isn’t really his fault yet, if he’s a demon child, it’s because your sister condones and allows it. You should have cussed her out, you’re an asshole for yelling at the wrong person. And your sister is a mega asshole. You save her and her children from homelessness, and her thanks is to allow her toddler to vandalize your property. She is neglecting to watch and correct her child, and is being cruel to the sister that saved her ass by allowing your things to be damaged through that neglect. If you want any hope of saving your relationship with her, she needs to leave. The longer she’s there, the more you’ll resent her. And tell her to watch her fuckin kid, Jesus Christ how hard is it not to let your toddler color in heirloom books? (And before anyone gets all up in my shit, I have two daughters, I wasn’t perfect, but books are sacred and they were taught to respect them from a young age. As well as other peoples’ property.) ######
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So my friend wanted to buy a Switch and I told her if she found an extra to lmk and I'd give her the money. She said she found someone through letgo and basically was saying how friendly the guy was and he was sending her pictures and he was trying to get rid of them etc etc. When I told her how much was he asking you she said the price that he paid for because he was trying to get rid of them, when I was telling her how is she paying because he was located about two hours away from us she told me that he was going to be shipping it overnight and he would take cash app or venmo and I was telling her that she should really just do PayPal goods and services in case of anything and I kept telling her this over and over but she was adamant about venmo so I gave her the money and she paid for the guys to switches and then he ghosted her. Would I be the asshole if I made her give me my $325 because she didn't listen to me and got screwed over because of it? ######
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ESH - you both ignored the clear signs that it was a scam, you told her all the reasons it was a bad idea...and then gave her your money to lose. ######
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I am the youngest of 3 and I have 2 older brothers who are 21 and 18 while I am 16, don't get me wrong I love my brothers but I'm just tired of them not taking me seriously cause I'm the young and stupid one. The 21yo has been the worst when it comes to disregarding everything I say, and any opinion gets shot down as "being less than his" and that he is just so much better than me.
Recently I was helping my brother with his homework cause I am really good at chemistry and he is not. We were at the kitchen table and my oldest brother was just watching me help him. I messed up an equation and he just had to run his mouth about how I don't know what I'm doing and tried to push me out of the way. I full on told him to just leave and that I got this. He said that I don't know what I'm doing and to let the big kid handle this. (this is where I might be TA) I said "Oh yeah the big kid? Your the 21yo still living with mom and dad. Your expertise in chemistry really helped you move out huh? Get the fuck out of here I got this." I could see him FUMING but my other brother told him just leave and he did.
Later that day my oldest brother told me that he "demands" me to respect him and that I will NEVER talk to him like that again. I told him to then respect me too then and he brought up how I'm a kid and I don't get respect yet so I went to my room and refused to talk with him. AITA? ######
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ESH - this sounds like siblings arguing and you both sound like kids ######
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I met her 27 years ago. We lived next door to each other for 3 years and she was a very good neighbor to have. Very nice. We reconnected 2 years ago and she's been to several of my parties. But she's really bad about inviting like 20 people to come with her and I'm invaded.
Don't get me wrong! They're super nice people and when they come, they're taking out my garbage, washing dishes, they're great! But it's a little daunting to be expecting maybe 15 people and having 40 turn up.
But that's not the real problem. Even though we were neighbors, I never really understood just how...stupid she is. I mean like verging on brain damaged. She's just really, really dense. I had her over a couple of times last year and it was, just...unbearable. She has a REALLY loud, abrasive HAW HAW HAW!! laugh that just sets my teeth on edge. She constantly interrupts you when you're talking and it takes FOREVER to explain literally ANYTHING more complex than "food tastes good" to her. She also tends to get really, really drunk very quickly. She's also a 'close talker' and cannot seem to modulate the volume of her voice.
If it weren't for this virus, I'd be fielding daily messages, calls and texts from her wanting to come over and hang out. I usually just make excuses or pretend I'm not home. I keep hoping she'll get the hint, but, nope! Like I said, she's just not very bright.
Am I the asshole for ducking her? ######
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ESH - she sucks for being do inconsiderate, but you also kinda suck for hinting and not just telling her you don't want to be friends (gently, without telling her she's a moron). I mean, whats the worst that could happen? She stops liking you? Isn't that the goal? ######
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Throwaway as my sister uses Reddit
I have a 25 year old sister and I am 13. A few years ago my sister moved out and she got her new apartment. I got my own room and got owner ship of the bathroom and closet in the room. Recently my sister has been staying in the guest room off the house as she was evicted.
My sister does not like to use the other two restrooms in the house because it is not private as I have another 10 year old step sister. My sister likes to use my restroom because it is private and I don't like it. She uses up all my shampoo and all the toilet paper leaving me with none.
She takes bath while I am sleeping and studying. So now here is where I might be an asshole. Today I was trying to study and my sister opened up my room and came in and told me she is taking a bath. I refused and told her to fuck off. My sister started screaming at me and telling me to let her use the restroom as I am monopolizing it. I went and blocked the door.
My sister tried getting me out by moving me and started crying. I told her to get out you disgusting bitch. My sister called my mom and told me that I am monopolizing the restroom. My mom agreed that I was right and my sister can use the other restroom as my sister is a guest. My sister yelled at me for being a mysgonstic because I did not let her use my restroom. So aita for calling my sister a disgusting bitch after she tried using my restroom ######
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ESH - She shouldn't be consuming all your toiletries or using it when you are sleeping, but it sounds like you are being petty too so, no offense but i think you need to grow up. Try actually talking to her and meeting in the middle. It's a skill you'll need to learn to use eventually, might as well start now. ######
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First of all, I made my first Reddit account specifically to post this question, so please don't think I'm a troll! This has been bothering me for about a month now.
My BF and I have been together for 2 years and we are starting to talk about possibly getting engaged. He very casually mentioned that he doesn't believe in diamond engagement rings because they're just a ploy for jewelry companies to take all of your money, and it's unfair that the guy has to bear the burden of such an investment. I get that they're expensive, and I kind of see where he's coming from. But I have always wanted a diamond engagement ring! My heart broke a little when he said he didn't believe in them because I have always dreamt of wearing one.
Part of me thinks he's just trying to get out of spending the money. Neither of us are struggling financially. He doesn't buy me a lot of stuff otherwise, and I'm perfectly fine with that because I am able to support myself and buy my own things. But this is really important to me! So, I told him that I would only agree to marry him if there's a ring.
I have never seen him so angry. He screamed at me and called me a spoiled B\*\*\*\*. I told him there are ways to get around the burden of the price. For example, I can take on more of the wedding costs to even it out. I don't want to actually pay for half the ring because that kind of diminishes the gesture, but I'm more than happy to pay for other things until we are square. And it doesn't have to be a huge ring! But he refused to compromise and has been very cold towards me ever since. Suffice to say, we have not (yet?) gotten engaged.
So reddit, AITA for wanting a diamond engagement ring? ######
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ESH - honestly, this is not a ring problem. This is a both of you putting petty ideals over getting along problem.
If he has a problem with the symbolism and expense of diamonds, why would you still feel like a diamond ring he only gave you because you basically threatened to end the relationship over it would be a symbol of anything good?
If you care that much about the symbol, why the hell is he not willing to do it? I get that it's not meaningful to him, but there are plenty of industries I see no value in that I'd spend money on to make my partner happy. Diamonds are expensive and needlessly so but on the scale of wedding expenses they're hardly all that crazy.
If neither of you is willing to compromise, you've both ended a relationship over petty jewelry. No one does that unless there's other issues at play. ######
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My boyfriend (25m) and I (22f) have been together for just over a year.
We have been in a semi long distance relationship for most of that time, as I moved away from our home town to the city for college around 3 months after we got together.
We still see each other at least 3 days a week, as it’s less than two hours drive.
A few weeks ago my boyfriend told me he wanted me to move in with him.
I thought about it for a while and decided that yes, I wanted to live with him and that commuting to college would be manageable especially as we have reduced campus hours currently due to COVID.
Last night though, he mentioned that he was looking forward to being able to put more money towards saving for a house deposit once I had moved in an was covering half the rent.
I had never expected to have to split his rent. My assumption had been that due to the increased cost associated with my travel to college, along with having to leave a fairly well paid part time job in the city and also the amount of time I would be spending commuting, almost 4 hours a day twice a week, that we wouldn’t be splitting the rent “equally”. I’d obviously still split bills and things, but not the rent as all these costs would end up with me financially disadvantaged by moving.
He got really angry when he heard this, saying that he wasn’t just going to have me free load and that we’d always been a partnership.
I agree that we’re a partnership but I’m very firm on this. I won’t be increasing the cost of his rent by moving in so why should I have to cover all the costs of me moving?
AITA for refusing to pay rent? ######
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ESH - He shouldn't clarified all of this before you moved in but you also shouldn't be surprised that you have to pay rent. If y'all can't sort out something basic like this, you're going to have a rough time communicating in the future. ######
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I recently posted this on r/tifu and they made me wonder if I'm TA
My ex's wedding was in February. And like you could guess, I wasn't personally invited nor was I told anything about it from him even though we spoke daily. Well I found out about it from his grandmother (we're close) and she suggested I 'gate crash' and that she would cover for me (think she doesn't like the bride). I was interested in going because I wanted to find some closure since we had broken up rather quickly a few months before and I still wasn't over him. So I said yes.
The day came and his grandmother 'sneaked' me in and we watched the ceremony. It was beautiful. I shed a few tears but it really solidified things. I was ready to leave afterwards but his grandmother pushed me to go to the reception as well and sit next to her at the family table. Pretty awkward but I went. I was still mingling with the family, standing up, when the bride and groom came. They came and greeted and she congratulated me on the pregnancy. I thanked her and said something about how I couldn't wait to co parent with the two of them. Turns out that she didn't know that I was pregnant (5 months at the time) with his child the whole time. She lost her shit and ran out. He tried to run after her but then her dad came and started a scene. Lucky for me, my ex's brother came and helped get me out of there as soon as possible.
My ex still asks for updates but I recently heard from his grandmother they broke up and got an annulment. The 'bride' weirdly still follows me and comments/likes my pictures so I think she's fine with me but still, AITA? ######
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ESH - grandma is a trouble maker, he should have told his fiancée and you knew damn well what you were doing. ######
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So I have a coworker (25/30F) called “Amy”. She’s single with no kids.
My boss (30/35M) called “Jake” is married to my COUSIN and has two kids.
Amy is in love with jake the way a lion is in love with a zebra. She’s always always trying to start anything with him or anyone else for his attention. I’ve done so good at ignoring it or just letting it slide. Amy and I have the same position so at first I thought maybe she just liked him but at some times I will feel like she does it to try and get a raise or promotion. She already has gotten one but from mine and other coworker perspectives not by doing a good job.
The other day on our zoom call (usually we are in an office) Jake was talking to us and one of his kids was yelling in the background. Amy slyly says “cant your wife take care of that? She must not be doing her job very well”. No one laughed. Jake went to go help the child and came back and she goes “dang you’re such a good daddy. “Kelly” (jakes wife) is a lucky girl”.
And those things we all are kinda like ehhh you should stop. Jake either laughs or goes along with it.
But then later when a few people dropped the call and there was about 3 of us on she told Jake “whenever this is over I can’t wait to see you in the office. We are going to need to get coffee to go over some things”
I snapped guys.
I told her in front of everyone she needed to respect his marriage and stop trying to be a home wrecker. I also told her she’s not as pretty as his wife anyways.
She dropped the call and no one has heard from her since. Yes I’m in trouble at work lol ######
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ESH - even if you could make the argument that you would be justified in saying to Amy that it makes you uncomfortable to have Jake's wife talked about like that (because you're her cousin), you didn't say it like that, and you most certainly were not justified in bringing Amy's looks into it. That crossed the line from being unprofessional into just flat-out poor judgment on your part. Pick your battles, pick your moments. ######
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A couple years ago I was in a serious relationship with my then girlfriend. The time came and I bought a nice engagement ring for her. The ring had one big diamond in the middle and then two smaller diamonds on the side. Costed me an arm and a leg but it was the only ring that caught my eye so I bought it. My then girlfriend knew about the ring because of the fitting but she never wore the completed version of it nor did I end up proposing to her. Our relationship ended and I kept the ring because it's still a nice ring.
I met my now fiancée 3 years ago and then proposed to her last year with that ring. She loved the ring and always bragged about it to her friends. Last night we were trying to pull an all nighter watching movies. I don't know if anyone has watched Leap Year here (shitty movie) but we got to the end where Declan proposed and my fiancée couldn't stop analyzing the way he did it, comparing him to me. We started talking about the way I proposed then moved onto the ring. She thanked me and said something about how beautiful it was and I accidentally said something like "I'm just glad I didn't sell it five years ago". She questioned me about what I meant by 5 years and sell so I told her the truth. She went all mad and told me that I was a cheap asshole trying to give her a hand-me-down ring. She took it off, opened the window, tossed it out and locked herself in our bedroom.
I'm still outside now, hours later, trying to look for the bloody ring/giving her space. I don't even knoe what I'm going to do when I find it. Do I give it back or do I keep it for the next girl? (just kidding! It's a joke). I sort of understand where she's coming from but really? It's still a nice ring and I spent months trying to think of a special to engrave on it just for her. Aita? ######
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ESH - dude, I get it for the saving money. But she will never see the ring as something you bought for her. It will ALWAYS be the ring you bought for your ex. That’s the issue. I’d be hurt and wouldn’t be happy wearing a ring someone bought for someone else.
Also she shouldn’t have thrown it out. That’s ridiculous. I hope you find it. ######
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My mother is having mental health issues so I took in my 10yo brother. I'm a single 27yo male and my brother is 25 and married with no kids. Moving in a 10yo and trying to manage a mentally ill person and working full-time is draining and I am doing this with no help. I've asked my brother for help - mainly taking are of our brother on the weekends and he refuses. His weekend is his weekend to spend with his wife or to go golfing or ride their motorcycles. He doesn't want to be bothered. I find that ironic because both he and his wife post a lot about how family is everything. They took a break from social media and I used that opportunity to call them both out, but mainly my brother. On my brother's page, I explained that our mother had a psychotic breakdown and could no longer care for our brother and Kyle (the 25yo) refused to life a finger to help, even just a little for a little time. I left another one on his wife's page saying that my brother became a dick after marrying her but it was cool because they'll eventually eat each other alive.
It took a few days for them to find out about the posts and a lot of people saw it. They thought it was a joke at first. My brother DM'd me eight times and I didn't bother reading them. I know he is mad. ######
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ESH - did airing your family's dirty laundry on social media help? I doubt it. ######
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So my girlfriend has this habit of interrupting as though as soon as she gets a thought she absolutely *has* to share it then, no matter what, I put up with it as one of her quirks and don’t give it much thought.
We met up with some of my friends who we don’t see often lately since the birth of our son and we were mid convo when she interrupted and one of my friends girlfriends loudly spoke, not quite yelling, asking her not to fucking interrupt and my girlfriend apologised but my friends girlfriend called her a rude fucking bitch; my friend called her out for this behaviour.
When we got home my girlfriend burst out crying and hid in our room for a while but now she’s angry that I didn’t defend her.
My friend called out his girlfriends behaviour and it’s only fair that she got annoyed with my girlfriend interrupting, I shouldn’t have to step in.
I did text my friend and we agreed he wouldn’t bring his girlfriend around anymore.
AITA? ######
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ESH - Being rude by interrupting people isn't a quirk and should be something you discuss. If it was literally one time that she did it and the other girl reacted like that, that's unnecessary but just letting her get away with it all the time and interrupting you is disrespectful. Her thoughts are not more important than someone else's in every conversation and she should learn that. ######
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A very well loved resident (nursing home) passed away several months ago. Our normal procedure afterwards is to call EMT to take the body, clean the bed, leave the light on and keep the door open until the family shows up to gather their belongings. Most of the time it's all said and done within a week or so. We do it this way to prevent the room from getting musty and stale plus it helps with the cleaning along with some old folkey bs about "dead air" regardless a rule is a rule.
Due to the way the resident passed and the fact their family lives several states away my coworkers don't want to see the room and it seriously upsets them to even walk past. Our boss keeps putting the whole situation off at first giving the family three months to show up and then taking their sweet time to find a place to donate the belongings to. It's now been over six months and this room is still a problem.
My coworkers all believe in ghosts and they swear the room is "haunted" on top of just being creepy so they keep closing the door so they don't have to see it. I'll come along and re open it since that's the literal rule. This has been going on non stop for months and every time I open it they accuse me of not caring about them and being too hung up on stupid rules and it's lead to some pretty rough arguments our boss breaks apart by reminding us they are "working on it" and a few coworkers are beginning to nag me about dropping the situation and saying how it's not my problem.
I refuse because it makes us look bad. Even if I don't like it and agree it's a dumb rule it's what we've done for years and we can't make an exception because a bunch of grown adults in a field taking care of the elderly are afraid of ghosts. My priority is the ones still living and continuing to do things as written. AITA for failing to see why anyone would change a several year old process to spare the feelings of a few workers? ######
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ESH One, if grown ass adults believe in ghosts, they should probably pick a different field where they aren't going to be driven batshit by daily routine.
You suck, because you're making a petty point, on a petty rule, just because it's "a rule". It's not a rule that has any actual need, reason or logic behind it...any more than your co-workers idiotic belief in ghosts, you opening the door for months on end, in exceptional circumstances because it's a rule (which was never meant to be carried out this long) is just a daft as them wanting the door closed because of ghosts.
Your boss sucks because he should tell you to knock off this shit and mind your place and if 90 percent of people are bothered by the door being open and you're the only one who isn't, suck it up cupcake and close the door. ######
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We casually saw each other for a month and became official a month later, thankfully we never got around to having sex because I have bad experiences with men trying to con their way into my bed only to drop off the face of the Earth later on.
I found out by accident when going through his medicine cabinet looking for aspirin and came across his HIV meds, so I confronted him and he admitted he's been positive since his senior year of high school when he slept with a teacher's assistant. He swore up and down that he's been taking his meds every single day and would never put me at risk but he didn't want to tell me because he knew I would leave him. Fuck yes I would, asshole knew I lost a cousin to aids and don't screw around with that.
So I broke up with him and have been trying to figure out how to be tested because what if he had cuts or open wounds I didn't know about? Now his family had been calling me constantly because he's depressed, I point blank told his dad if he infected me he'll be dead. Silence, his dad had no idea what I was talking about? Apparently he kept it a secret from *everyone* and now he's calling me because everyone doesn't want him touching anything and his sister refuses to let him see his niece and nephew anymore. ######
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ESH
He should've disclosed his status once you guys got serious, but the misinformation, ignorance and shaming is egregious here. Not letting him see his niece and nephew??? No one wants him touching anything? Where do you guys live that this is the prevailing thought upon learning of his condition? I guess we don't have to wonder why he didn't tell his family... ######
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I asked my girlfriend if she could lend me money for weed, £50 and that I would pay her back next when when I get paid. She said no since she is against weed and drugs in general, I asked why and then she said "well I will lend you money if you give me the double amount back, so £100 because I will put an interest rate"
I told her that was ridiculous and a bit petty and that I will just give her back the same amount. I'm desperate for some weed so I agreed to do it but then I went on about how selfish she is. She called me an asshole because I agreed to it and that's just how she "lends" out money especially when it is going to take such a long time to give it back. She literally has enough money in her bank. I got angry at her and told her its stupid that she is trying to make money out of me.... she then went on telling me how much of an asshole I am and that if I don't have money for weed I should wait it out instead OR do it this way.
AITA here? ######
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Definitely YTA she didn’t want to lent you money for drugs, you begged and she offered you a deal which you accepted and now your having a cry about it! Might be time to rethink your budget, habit and also grow up.
Oh and by your replies your definitely need to stand back and look in the mirror, you ask if YTA and then argue why your right like your arguing about the money
Edit to add and fix typos ######
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I was talking with my friend who is very sheltered and didn’t know there were people who weren’t straight or cis. Anyway, we were talking and at some point I said “me and my girlfriend have been dying to see each other again” and she said “I thought you hated when girls referred to there girl-friends as girlfriends?” I said, “I do but I mean she is actually my girlfriend like we are in a relationship” she was very confused and so was I, so the following conversation occurred.
K: why are you dating a girl if you’re a girl? Only males and females can be attracted to each other
Me: well no actually, men can be in romantic relationships with men and women can be in romantic relationships with women
K: that doesn’t make any sense. Why would you date someone you don’t like?
Me: well... you shouldn’t. We do like each other, that’s why we are dating. You can feel romantically attracted to the same gender. You can be gay, or bi, or pan, or poly, or omni.
K: what do all those mean and what are you and your “girl...friend”
*i explain*
2 days later
K: this is K’s parents and apparently you told our daughter about the gays.
Me: yes I did is there a problem?
K: yeah we didn’t want a corrupt gay daughter but now because of you we might not be able to fix her
Me: she isn’t gay, and she isn’t corrupt
K: we will be blocking you off of her phone now please do not speak to her at school
I feel like I did the right thing but I also feel like maybe it wasn’t my place to teach. So AITA ######
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Definitely NTA.
You answered questions from a curious person, and properly. You haven’t ‘corrupted’ her or hurt her in anyway.
Her parents being homophobic is not your fault, so don’t beat yourself up over it. And, unless she tells her parents everything that happens in her day(no teen really does), then I see no problem with talking to her during school.
You may even want to tell her about your parents calling you. ######
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Ok people of reddit I need your help. This situation is weighing heavy on my heart and noggin and I’m completely unsure what to do.
I am dog sitting for an owner and it is very clear to me and others that have seen the dog that this dog is being neglected.
Here is the information/facts I have:
• dog is only fed once a day because owner is at work and doesn’t want to come home to accidents
• dog has no toys, bed, cage or dog treats
• dog’s spine, ribs and hips are visible (there is no fat on the dog’s body)
• dog has ring around neck under collar possibly due to collar being tight and being rubbed raw
• dog is locked in garage/laundry room when dog is “too excited and is overwhelming” by the owner
• dog is hardly walked and doesn’t get much exercise (which is why dog is “overwhelming” because dog doesn’t get energy out)
• dog’s nails are so long that when taken on a walk they drag on the ground
• dog’s teeth are black and breathe smells like poop
I know the dog is in the teens of age but acts like a 2 year old with plenty of love and energy. Very nice dog overall; doesn’t bite, just wants to be by you at all times and is very sweet.
I’m getting mixed responses from family/friends being: “it’s not your place” “you don’t know what health conditions dog has” “you should say something to the owner” “you should report owner”
I personally am an absolute dog lover. It breaks my heart seeing a dog treated like this. I don’t understand why people get pets and then treat it awfully. I feel I need to be the dogs advocate.
Help me out here... should I leave it be or should I report the owner? I feel there’s so much wrong that I can’t just pick one thing to say to the owner. ######
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Definitely NTA.
When it comes to abuse, you have to report it when you see it. It is hard to report someone because we fear the consequences, but you're one of the few people, if not the only one, who can help this dog have a better life. ######
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My 3 year old daughter loves to spend time at my mom's house but my mom has never been the "good" parent, she has always tried hard to be the fun one no matter what. Over the last year or so she ha taught my daughter my daughter many bad habits that have been hard to break. Some notable ones are, she taught her to fight by putting up fists and asking her if she wants to fight. My daughter now will come up to you and say let's fight then punch you in the jaw. She has taught her pee outside because she's little enough to not make it a problem. But now to the point, the last straw. This morning I dropped her off there to play while mom and I worked. When I got there she instantly tried teaching her that "someone stop her she's dancing like a stripper" song. I sternly told her not to teach her that and left it at that. An hour later I got a Snapchat from her of my daughter singing it. I told her again it doesn't matter if you say she can only sing it there. She will sing it in public and I don't want that. I got no response. After work my wife calls me and tells me my mom called her and asked our daughter to sing her the song. Further proving she made her memorize this. Then my mom called my wife a bitch for telling her not to fucking teach her this stuff.
Her calling my wife a bitch was the last straw. I went to her house and told her exactly what I thought. I told her our daughter is not going there any more until she thinks about what she is teaching her. As I was leaving my mom told me if she sees my wife in public she's gonna beat her ass.
At that point I flipped. I screamed at her to act her age and stop being a shitty person.
Now I can't sleep thinking maybe I should have defended my mom even a little. AITA?
Also sorry for the long post. ######
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Definitely NTA. Your mum has zero respect for you or or wife, which she has demonstrated repeatedly. You need to find alternative child care ######
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Some context: I have a strict "no lending" policy on money, I won't let anyone starve, but I'd rather buy you lunch rather than give you the money. It's something my parents taught me and it helps to weed out who's just lying to get a fix of whatever.
Due to lay-offs, we are all struggling, but I have a savings account with some emergency money. I've literally starved to be able to put some money aside every month, and it's not much, but it's something to fall back on.
Last month, one of the guys I work with started sending me texts asking for money. I said no, he asked someone else and got it so I didn't feel too bad about it. This month, as soon as we got paid, he started the texts again, and again, I said no. I know he's good for it, I'm sure by the end of the month he would pay me back and we're friends. I even pay for drinks when we go out because I know he doesn't have much.
Here's the thing though. I work 12/14 hour shifts. I work myself to the bone to be able to save up and I don't spend money on myself, aside for bare necessities. And this guy, even though he's a good worker, doesn't. He misses work half of the week, gets in late and, even though his schedule is always the same, he sends a text everyday asking what time he gets in, even on my days off.
Now, there are a lot of reasons why I shouldn't lend him money, he gets financial aid from the government and wastes it all on weed, he mooches of other people for places to crash, food and alcohol and takes stuff from work to take to his dealer to pay for more weed.
But none of that matters to me. Even if the money was for something important, what really makes this a solid No is the fact that if he just showed up for work he would have money for his stuff. And even though I could lend him some bucks, why should I have to? I do feel bad for him, and in my mind I keep arguing with myself about it, so I want to know, am I being an asshole here? ######
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Definitely NTA. Your money, you earned it, you decide where it goes. The end. ######
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I (17M) program as a hobby. I've been pulling all nighters working on a project with my friends and on my free time I play CSGO and Hypixel Skyblock. My mom recently put locks on my laptop and blocked certain programs that are essential to my hobby (vscode, unity, etc) Luckily for me I found a loophole that allows me to bypass her locks by creating a new windows account using a throwaway email. She's always been like a helicopter parent and I've gotten used to it but it still pisses me off that she treats me like I'm 12. ######
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Definitely NTA. You wouldn't have had to bypass in the first place if she would loosen up ######
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When I say every single time, I mean every single time she does it in front of me and it's becoming a problem with the family because they think I'm being disrespectful and she's old and doesn't get it. Even my husband is like "I agree with you but she won't budge so just let it go"
No I dont think I will.
My son is ftm, he realised he wasnt a girl at age 6, and from there I supported him all the way until he figured it out. He's now 19 and will medically start transitioning in a few years I'm very proud of him. Family outside of us (parents) and siblings thought he was just a tomboy all this time and he only recently made the decision to come out to everyone else. Mother-in-law who always pushed for him to be "a girly girl" and thought something was wrong with him for not being feminine like his sisters is now misgendering him at every turn, texting us and lecturing us and giving unsolicited advice about his identity THE JOURNEY OF WHICH HE CHOSE TO LEAVE HER OUT OF. She also seems to think him being trans is now my fault because since I defend his pronouns so hard, maybe I pushed them which........okay. It's gotten to the point where she'll say things over text like "maybe if you buy her dresses" and I'll say "he doesn't like dresses." Over. And over. And over. And over.
Now she thinks I'm being disrespectful but I don't know what she wants me to do? Let her misgender him? A lot of family is telling me I'm being petty for no reason, but I don't think so??? I don't think I'm being an asshole for DEFENDING MY CHILD but a lot of people seem to think so. My husband thinks straight up blocking her would be an even bigger dick move because she's "just old" but that's where I'm headed. ######
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Definitely NTA. You would be doing your son a disservice not to speak up. ######
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Sorry for anything misspelled or the format being weird I'm on mobile
Ok so I'm a 17(F) I was born on May 9th my sister (Mia 14(F) not her real name) was born on May 13th. Ever since she was born we've shared a birthday party. That includes the cakes and the presents, the cake is usually an issue for me because I cant eat cake it makes me sick so I don't eat it so I've never really had a birthday pastry.
Ok onto the story.
Yesterday me and my cousin we're talking when we got onto the subject of birthdays and she told me how she loves getting presents and eating a big cookie (shes tge same as me and cant eat cake so my mom makes her a big cookie). When this conversation unsued
Me "I don't really like my birthday"
C: "how come?"
Me: "I always hear about how all of you got presents and got to eat cookies and stuff and how the whole day you didn't have to do anything (for birthdays my mom uses the rule that the birthday girl/boy doesnt have to help with ANYTHING this includes my 26 year old sister.) Mom usually makes me clean something then rushes off to go spend time with Mia."
C: "stop being an a**hole! Be grateful you even got presents!"
Me: "I never got presents most of it was either for the whole family of something that Mia broke"
C: "shut up"
Then she walked off and that was that. I was just wondering am I the a**hole for thinking this? Should I really just shut up and be grateful I'm here? I dont know what to think anymore and I'm going to my friends house Friday so we can have a late birthday thing with me and her family.
So Reddit Aita?
Tl;dr my entire birthday is spent with everyone praising my little sister ######
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Definitely NTA. You were born on separate days and so it is appropriate to have separate celebrations.
Have fun at your friend's house at the celebration they're throwing for you! ######
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I am a 22f living at my parents home due to the state of the world. We live in a nice neighborhood out side of city limits. Each house sits on about three acres so there’s a fair amount of room between houses. Growing up the neighborhood was quiet with very few, if any, disagreements. Within the last few years a new family moved in with teenagers and money to burn. They have several golf carts, 4wheelers, and motorized bikes the kids and friends like to race up and down the street. Last fall a kid fell off their golf cart and cracked his head open in our front yard. After that the racing stopped. In the last few weeks it started again. Racing in the dark with out lights, reflective clothes, or even helmets. As the kids are a bit older they’ve added trucks to the mix with kids up and dancing in the bed of the trucks while it’s moving. I have talked to the mom about my concerns, and she said she tells them to stop when she sees it, but she also likes to be a mean girls “cool mom” and allows the kids to basically do whatever. As this is occurring more frequently (at least 3 nights in the last week) I am considering calling the police the next time it happens. I hate to waste the officers time, but I am worried that another kid will wind up severely injured, or worse. If I call the cops, AITA? ######
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Definitely NTA. You have secondary reasons to back yourself up—noise complaints and whatnot. However, the biggest reason is, like others have said, regarding these kids’ safety. One has already seriously been injured. Now it seems the others are getting wilder in spite of it. Please call the next time it happens. It truly would be for the kids’ sake. ######
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I'm due in the fall and where I live, visiting restrictions will probably be lifted so it's caused a rift between me and my MIL.
Title says it all. I just wouldn't be comfortable with my legs spread apart screaming in front of my husband's mother. He's 100% supportive of this and says he's not going to let her come. She's been very vocal about how disrespectful I'm being for not letting her see her grandson's first moments. I've tried to be reasonable with her and calmly explain how stressful it will be for us and even offered to let her visit us first once we're home, but she kept begging to witness the birth.
I've gotten texts from her family echoing this, saying they should be allowed to see my child if they'd like to. I'm having second thoughts now, but I am worried for my family's health if we let them all in. I wouldn't be able to take it well emotionally if they were watching me, and some of his family are nutcases quite frankly... lots of anti-vaxxers and MLM pushers on his side :/. AITA here though? Is it okay if I just want to give birth with him and the doctors? ######
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Definitely NTA. You can have whoever you want in the room, and disallow anyone you want. Make sure to let the medical staff know to restrict access to anyone you don't specifically say is allowed in. ######
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my six year old daughter died a couple months ago and the mourning process is already difficult enough. my ex-best friend keeps texting me about my daughter and he says things such as “it’s a damn shame” and he’s in “pain” but he never even met my daughter! it’s tearing me to pieces so i blocked him! a bunch of our mutual friends say i’m being insensitive but i’m the one who lost my child. AITA? ######
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definitely NTA. there is nothing worse than when someone takes a tragedy that happened to someone else and make it about themselves. i’m sorry for your loss. ######
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So my cousin and I(both 22F) are only 6 months apart and her birthday was in early March. A few days ago in the family group chat she sent her cashapp and asked for family to send their birthday gifts there. 1) once you then 18 in my family it’s very rare to get a birthday gift from everyone. 2) she’s 22 with a job and her birthday was almost 3 months ago. I didn’t respond and she messaged me privately asking why I haven’t sent her anything since I have cashapp. I told her I don’t get a birthday present from that side of the and don’t beg them for it way past my birthday. She then brought up the fact that I get an “extra gift” at Christmas from my uncle. Which yes is true but it’s not actually from him, it’s from my “dad” since my uncle was the one who inherited his estate after he passed. I didn’t respond and she replied that she KNOWS I have enough money to spare to send her a birthday gift. While yes I have received SOME of my inheritance my husband and I are about to close on a house and the money is going towards that and for furniture. I did not receive enough to just go around handing out money. I also know that any money she gets will be spent on drugs. She lives with her boyfriend and his family rent and bill free.
So AITA? I felt bad after it all went down but I feel like it was a low blow bringing up my dads money. ######
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Definitely NTA. She’s super entitled and shouldn’t be asking for money as a gift, and definitely should not be begging for it. I get that there’s a crisis going on, but having a birthday 3 months prior and trying to guilt trip people, especially family, into giving money, is messed up ######
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Throwaway because my parents browse this sub
So today my father set a challenge for me and my mother.
Who ever completed the 5km loop around our house would get anything they wanted( as long as said item was under 100 euros)
So I can do 5k in 27 minutes while it takes my mother 40 ish minutes so I was sure I was gonna win.but my mother has a habit of letting me run off, then calling one of her friends to bring her home after about 1km, so it seems like she is this super fit "model", while she makes me look like a fat lazy bastard.
So we set off and I tailgate my mother so she cant cheat and I tail her for about 4km and then i sprint the last 1km and win, but my mother was fucking furious, she went off at me saying I "belittled her and made her look unfit" and is demanding that my dad gets her a present because "it's not fair to get your son something and not your wife"
So reddit, aita for tailgating my mother? ######
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Definitely NTA. She’s got issues ######
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I live in an apartment that I moved into in September 2019. Since arriving, I have had probably close to 20 packages show up at my door addressed to someone I've never met. Let's say the name is Autumn. The packages all have my address and Autumn's name. Since they're not addressed to me, I just leave them outside and eventually they've all been picked up. I've never seen anyone pick them up, but they're always gone in 2-3 days.
At first I thought it must be the previous tenant who forgot to forward their mail, but I've never gotten a piece of mail addressed to Autumn. I do get mail addressed to previous tenants occasionally, but never a single piece addressed to her. I even mentioned this to my building manager, and she said she's never heard of Autumn. It's possible that she lived at this address with someone else and was just never on the lease, but still, she's never lived here.
My guess is that she has her packages sent here because we have a gate with a code, as opposed to other apartment buildings in my city which are open to the street. Almost all the packages have been marked on the outside as expensive cosmetics brands. I get that she doesn't want her stuff stolen, but it kind of pisses me off that a stranger is using my address as a free PO box. Like, if she can afford to order expensive makeup 2-4 times a month surely she has a little extra cash for a PO box, right?
On top of it all, this means that a stranger who has never officially lived in my building is still using our gate code to gain access to the building frequently. Which is in itself kind of skeevy, right?
I've considered leaving a short "please stop having your packages sent here" note, but haven't acted yet. ######
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Definitely NTA. PUT A STOP TO THAT. You don't know what's in the packages and if it's illegal, you could be an accomplice ######
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I moved to this flat a year ago, like most of the Londoners I rented a room in a house share. We don't have any living room which restricts me socialising as much as I desire. That is the main reason I wanted to move out initially.
Since I moved here, I requested from landlord to change just the bath as it was rusty and you can't clean it as more you try to clean more rusty it gets. Couple of months ago he called me on a Sunday saying, he is refurbishing the toilet and the bathroom whole together. It was nice of him to do some investment in the flat which let's his tenants to have humane environment.
When the work done he decided to extend the job get the kitchen refurbished too and fit another room in the kitchen so that he can rent more rooms.
It was the last drop. I had been looking for flats for couple of months and just before the lock down I found a decent room which is smaller but have a living room and a small garden just 20 pounds more than I am paying now and since I got an increase on my wages I can afford it. And the house hold seems so friendly and nice people. I will be sharing with 2 more people whereas I would share with 4 more people if I stay.
When I agreed with my new landlord, I gave a month notice to my landlord and he flipped out. He said he paid 10k for his house just because I have asked. He said it's not fair of me letting him down. He offered 50 pounds discount as well. He wanted me to extend my notice for 2 more weeks, luckily my new landlord was fine with it so I accepted to extend. I told him that I asked him to change the bath a year ago not to put another room in the kitchen.
I understand him that he did all this investments and there is already an empty room in the house but I think I deserve to live where the heaven I want to live.
AITA for letting down my landlord? ######
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Definitely NTA. Not even close to TA. The rusty bath was always the LL's responsibility from the beginning and the fact he's even trying to lord this over you is laughable. ######
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A little background: I (20) grew up in a family of Christians farmers and handy workers. I was seen as "very smart" so they had high hopes for me. They are really traditional and we are french.
So when I was about 7 I went to my uncle house and didn't want to kiss them ( they thought I was being impolite and rebellious) while my stepbrother did. They screamed at me and kept making me feel guilty for that since I was about 16.
When I was 14, I was diagnosed with school phobia along with social anxiety and saw a therapist. I am now offiacially diagnosed with those, alongside with "high functioning autism" and cptsd which is why I can't stand physical contact.
They said I can't have any of those because they never saw me crying or having a panic attack, and that all autistic poeple are "dumb and drooling everywhere" and I just use that as an excuse because I'm lazy (while forcing me to study subjects i'm not good at).
My mom has a high sense of family and what it means and wants me to texts them (and her) often, to go to their house when I'm not far from home for studies. I am kind of scared of her because she is a huge part in what caused my cptsd.
I'm really lost in what I should do, I was raised to think about family first but that is only one of the traumatic events I went through, being LGBT in this kind of traditional family.
AITA for wanting to cut ties with my family? ######
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Definitely NTA. No one should ever be under any obligation to kiss or hug anyone if they’re not comfortable with it. Your family don’t seem to be very open to recognising your needs so to make yourself more comfortable and make your life your own I would say that if cutting them off will make you happier then do it. ######
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First some back story... my sister and I have never been close. I’m a bit older than her but because of life I still love at home with our parents and 2 years ago she moved to the other side of the country with her bf. Because we were never close and now she lives so far are basically just acquaintances at this point. When she does text me most the time she’s being snobby and the few times she’s been home we’ve gotten in huge fights because of her toxic behavior.
Recently I’ve over heard convos she’s had with my mom and she is planning her wedding (she’s not engaged yet but has said they are looking at places and he will propose soon but knowing my sister she is the one pushing the want to get married soon). One of the times they were FaceTime she saw me in the background and told me “One of the dates I’m looking at is your birthday”. Every year since I turned 18 I’ve gone on vacation for my birthday she obviously knows this so I told her “if you do I might not be able to come”. She got mad and my mother told me I’m being selfish and even if she plans her wedding on my birthday I better come. It became a huge fight and she doesn’t even have a date set yet.
Also about my vacation... it is the one time of year I get away. I work 32-40 hours a week on top of taking care of my grandparents. Taking them to the doctor, taking them shopping... etc. and where my sister lives isn’t a place I’d want to vacation.
So am I the asshole for telling her that/ would I be the asshole if it is on my birthday and I don’t go? ######
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Definitely NTA. Doesn't even really matter what day it is, if you don't want to go then there's no real reason to do so, but especially on your birthday? That's ridiculous and inconsiderate of them. ######
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My step mom has been my step mom since I’ve been 5. We have a decent relationship but it’s been rocky as of lately. I caught her purging after meals for the last few months. I don’t know if it began during quarantine or I just noticed because I’m always home. My step mom has always been critical of my weight and my half sisters. She criticized us for years, but since I was in sports and stuff I was always fit, I didn’t receive it as bad as my sisters. Last night, she screeched at my sister for eating past 8pm and called her fat and that she will never amount to anything because of her lack of “self control.” She started attacking me too because I defended my sister and called me piece of shit and that I looked like a man. I ended saying that she also doesn’t have self control because if she did, she wouldn’t need to throw up after she eats. That caused a big fight between us and my dad got involved and well, I’m in big shit now. ######
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Definitely NTA. Based of this I’d say your step mom is actually pretty abusive. Berating anyone for their weight is disgusting on its own, let alone her hypocrisy. ######
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Throwaway account for privacy reasons. Also, english is not my first language so I want to apologize in advance for any mistakes.
For context, I’m 18F and he’s 20M. We have been together almost a year now, and from time to time we disagree on how frequent we should be having sex. This happens because he has a much higher libido than mine. He wants to do it every day if he can when I’m good with 1-2 times per week.
The issue was this morning. We were sleeping together in my bed, and he wakes up and starts to kiss me, like a shower of kisses! And I was really happy, because that is a nice way to wake up, feeling so so loved. It started taking a turn when he began taking of my shirt, groping me, etc.
I started to feel a little uneasy, because I thought he was just kissing me to show me he loves me, but instead it was to turn me on so we could have sex. So politely, I said to him: “Hey, I haven’t even woken up, I don’t want that”. He told me to relax and lifted my shirt (i was laying on my stomach) and began kissing my back and reallyyyyyy rubbing himself against me.
I tried to relax, because I know if I reacted badly it would really hurt him, so I played along. That was until he asked me if he could make love to me. I told him no, not harshly, just no.
Right then, he laid besides me and looked really sad. At first he started pouting (literally), and after a couple times of Me asking him what was wrong, he told me that I never want it, and that it makes him feel bad because he feels like he’s doing something wrong when we do it and that he feels like he should apologize for even trying.
I told him that that is not true and tried to make him feel better. It didn’t work, he just asked me to take him to the door (we don’t live together) and that was that.
So now I’m wondering if I should have just went along with it or what I could have done to make him feel better. WITA for rejecting him? ######
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Definitely nta! That's awful that he kept trying when you weren't into in and for making you feel bad for saying no. You dont owe him sex and it's sad because all he's going to do it make it so you don't want to kiss him at all because you'll worry it'll just be him trying to have sex and not just being romantic. I think you should warn him of that, his sex drive isn't more important that your feelings ######
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My uncle is a doctor, and makes good money. My Dad told him I needed money for school and asked for 1,000 bucks. He even had me thank him for the money and told everyone how my uncle helped him pay for school.
Turns out it was all a sham, my Dad used that money for drugs. My Mom showed me solid evidence of that, and I am horrified. I knew my Dad was an addict, but it didn’t occur to me that he was ripping off my uncle.
So WIBTA if I told my uncle what happened? Knowing him he probably wouldn’t sweat the 1,000, but I feel really guilty holding onto the knowledge. It might stir up shit between my uncle and my Dad, but I think he deserves to know. ######
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Definitely NTA, Your Uncle needs to know the truth and your Dad needs serious help if he’s doing drugs. It’s not fair that your uncle had his money used to fuel your Dad’s drug addiction ######
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So we have a daughter who turned three in January. Personally, I think she's pretty advanced for her age. She has complex conversations with us and can even read simple words already. She's now home with us all day while we work because of recent events. She's definitely getting more screen time than we would normally allow because we have to work, and she discovered Scooby-Doo. I bought her the first two seasons of the original version of the show that began in 1969. ("Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?") At the time, my wife didn't say anything, even during the early watching. I was pretty excited because this was one of my absolute favorite shows when I was her age, and it kind of still is.
However, my wife has decided that my daughter is no longer allowed to watch Scooby-Doo. She is concerned that the scenes are too anxiety-inducing for a child my daughter's age. I've spoken with my daughter and she seems to clearly understand the monsters are just pretend people in costumes as gets revealed at the end of each episode. She hasn't had any nightmares or anything like that. She's always laughing at Scooby's antics during the episodes. And she likes to pretend now that she's Daphne as she goes around the house.
Now that my wife has said she can't watch Scooby, my daughter is pretty upset. She loves the show and is constantly begging to watch it now. I typically present a united front with my wife, and I've been doing so and not letting her watch the show now. But I have told my daughter that if she can convince Mommy I'll let her watch the show. I'm having a tough time reconciling that there's anything wrong with watching Scooby-Doo and taking ownership for the decision not to let her watch it.
AITA? ######
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Definitely NTA, it seems your daughter understands the show and isn't scared of it or anything. You should try talking to your wife about how she doesn't get nightmares of anything and you don't see the harm in letting her watch. ######
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I (22f) have a prosthetic glass eye. This guy isn't my boyfriend, but we have gone on a few dates.
We were hanging out when this happened. I accidentally rubbed my eye wrong, and my prosthetic fell out. He screeched and jumped away. I didn't take offence - he didn't know and I could imagine being shocked seeing what looked like someone's actual eye fall of it's socket.
I thought that would be the end of it, but he seemed pretty shaken up that I have a fake eye. He asks me why I didn't tell him on our first date, so he wouldn't have wasted his time. Stuff like this freak him out, and he never would have gone on dates with me had he known.
I was pretty hurt, but it wasn't like he was my boyfriend. We weren't even talking about "becoming official". So far, this was just a few casual dates. ######
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Definitely NTA, I get him being surprised but that dude was just being an ass. ######
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Sorry for anything misspelled or the format being weird I'm on mobile
Ok so I'm a 17(F) I was born on May 9th my sister (Mia 14(F) not her real name) was born on May 13th. Ever since she was born we've shared a birthday party. That includes the cakes and the presents, the cake is usually an issue for me because I cant eat cake it makes me sick so I don't eat it so I've never really had a birthday pastry.
Ok onto the story.
Yesterday me and my cousin we're talking when we got onto the subject of birthdays and she told me how she loves getting presents and eating a big cookie (shes tge same as me and cant eat cake so my mom makes her a big cookie). When this conversation unsued
Me "I don't really like my birthday"
C: "how come?"
Me: "I always hear about how all of you got presents and got to eat cookies and stuff and how the whole day you didn't have to do anything (for birthdays my mom uses the rule that the birthday girl/boy doesnt have to help with ANYTHING this includes my 26 year old sister.) Mom usually makes me clean something then rushes off to go spend time with Mia."
C: "stop being an a**hole! Be grateful you even got presents!"
Me: "I never got presents most of it was either for the whole family of something that Mia broke"
C: "shut up"
Then she walked off and that was that. I was just wondering am I the a**hole for thinking this? Should I really just shut up and be grateful I'm here? I dont know what to think anymore and I'm going to my friends house Friday so we can have a late birthday thing with me and her family.
So Reddit Aita?
Tl;dr my entire birthday is spent with everyone praising my little sister ######
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Definitely NTA and your mom seems to be very biased in a negative way towards you.
>(shes tge same as me and cant eat cake so my mom makes her a big cookie).
>for birthdays my mom uses the rule that the birthday girl/boy doesnt have to help with ANYTHING this includes my 26 year old sister.)
Is this something you can raise to your mom at all? Seems like a middle child syndrome! ######
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This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and I'm still pissed from work. I'm a girl.
My new job is a very labor intensive job, moving heavy objects, pushing carts, packing shipping boxes. It's summer in the south on top of that, so it's hell hot. So of course I'm sweating with all the manual labor and the lack of ventilation in a metal sweatshop for 8+ hours a day.
I have a 'normal' type of deodorant, a 24 hours active sense one. Though, due to circumstances I can't get to the store and I ran out. I have a backup, a men's old spice one, I bought it because I like the smell. Very pine woodsy. It's a good cover all, and no matter how much I swear it works wherever my normal one I use when I know I am not going to be sweating alot, because I don't want to force people to smell my body odor of onion bagels.
So because of how much I sweat, I've been using the old spice one. No more B.O! Everything was fine, my male co-workers, I work with mostly teenage boys, never noticed. Until today where do to an absence in the second shift I got to work in the less labor intensive area.
Today I sat down with the girls to unwrap CDs , and one of them commented how it smells like a guys here.
Me: oh yeah, I used old spice. I'd rather you not smell me, lol.
This girl, we'll call her Anna, freaked the fuck out. A few seemed bothered and one of them told me it reminds her of her dad.
Things were said such as 'its unnatural, there's perfectly good girls deodorant!" And " are you gay?" And basically how I was a bitch because normal girls use floral deodorant and things designed for women and men had their own things made for them.
To me, it's fucking deodorant. I've know a few girls to do use ax, so why is this a thing? Still, I can't help but wonder if I'm a minority here.
AITA for using the 'wrong' deodorant? ######
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Definitely NTA and I suggest you up the anti by wearing Axe body spray. Then they’ll beg you to go back to old spice ######
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So this happened a few years ago but I always wonder if I was in the wrong. My brother (21M) and his girlfriend (20F) has been dating less than a year when my fiancé and I started writing our guest list for our wedding. We decided to invite my brother’s girlfriend even though they had only been together for a short time. GF found out I had invited a friend which happened to be a former classmate of hers (this girl was also a fiancée of one my partner’s friends and had been together for 2 years) and asked me to uninvite this girl because this girl was her sworn enemy and apparently she had once been with my brother. I told her that whatever was going on between GF and this girl wasn’t my business and I didn’t want to make things awkward and uninvite her when I didn’t have a problem with her. GF then started accusing me of choosing this girl over her and disrespecting her and although initially my brother didn’t care, he also eventually agreed with his GF and neither of them showed up to my wedding. I was devastated and conflicted on whether I should have just uninvited my friend to keep peace between me, my brother and his GF or whether that would have just been the start of GF making demands and getting her way. ######
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Definitely NTA
it's your wedding' you can invite who you want. It would be bad enough for your brother to ask you to unnvite someone but his girlfriend who you barely know? Ridiculous ######
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Okay, this is kind of of a weird one. I have been dating my girlfriend for 7 months now. I want to preface all of this by saying that I love her and that this post makes her sound worse than she is. She is one of the most genuine, sweetest, and hardworking people I have ever met. But, this whole situation has been so off putting to me and I don’t know what to do about it.
My girlfriend can be a bit clingy in general which, frankly, I have always found a bit cute. But, when she goes to the bathroom she always wants me to join her. At first I thought it was cute she wanted to spend time with me so much but I didn’t realize it was something she was going to expect every time. It started as just sitting on the side of the tub while she peed. Which could be inconvenient depending on if I was in the middle of something but I didn’t mind too much. But, starting a few months ago she started going number two and also dealing with her period stuff in front of me too. I’ve tried to excuse myself because the sights and smells. But, it hurts her feeling when I do and it always ends up in a fight about something unrelated. So, I’ve been dealing with it to keep the peace. She doesn’t mind if I go on my phone or do something else in the bathroom. But, even so, I just don’t want to witness/smell/hear those moments and it’s starting to impact my attraction towards her. I’ve tried talking with her but it seems to be really important to her for whatever reason. WIBTA if I stopped doing this? ######
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Definitely NTA . I'm curious . . . . you both haven't been dating that long. Who was her bathroom buddy before you? Did she just start doing this with you or has she always been this way?
It's pretty neurotic, and also covertly controlling. I'd suggest she see a therapist because, nope. ######
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Earlier today, my aunt and her young (seven year old) daughter came to visit to celebrate my father's birthday, with masks and gloves and all that, and I was wearing a short sleeves shirt because it was hot out. My scars are incredibly noticeable, so I wasn't really surprised when my aunt came to me and demanded that I put on a long sleeves shirt because it was making her uncomfortable and she didn't want her daughter seeing that.
I apologized but said it was too hot for long sleeves, plus that her daughter wasn't even paying attention to me. My aunt then said that I should be "ashamed" of myself for allowing her daughter to see such a thing.
I didn't want to argue so I just walked away at that point. My aunt and her kid left not long afterwards but called my mom to complain about it. Neither of my parents blame me for it and say that she shouldn't have said what she did, but I'm curious as to whether or not she was in the wrong or if I should have just sucked it up. ######
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Definitely NTA - You're scars are a part of you and you shouldn't be shamed into covering them just because it makes other people uncomfortable. ######
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My girlfriend (24F) is a very active person. She does a lot of running, yoga and used to do gymnastics as a teenager. She's very fit and athletic.
Now me (24M), I'm skinny fat but I'm strong. Im about 175lbs at 6 foot 1. I don't do much cardio but I've always had natural strength. I did used to work out at age 16-17 quite a lot at gym but stopped.
Anyway my GF has been trying to do pullups for a while but couldn't quite do one. Well recently she managed to do one for the first time and then really wanted to show me.
So she put the pullup bar on the door frame and showed me she could do 2. I was very impressed and proud of her, however, I was very curious of whether I could do some.
So I tried some and did about 8 very easily. I was surprised. So we put the bar away and I rested for about 10 mins but I felt an urge to do it again. So I asked her to watch this.
I got a backpack and put in a 15kg plate and tried to do a pullup, and I managed to do 2. I was so impressed with myself and overcome with endorphins that I even said "fuck I didn't know I could do that".
She looked pretty low and said "good for you" in a snarky tone. I overheard her on the phone say I was an AH for this. I'm conflicted cos I struggle to see if I did something wrong. Did I? AITA? ######
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YTA— Not for doing more pull-ups, but for taking your girlfriend’s proud moment and making it all about you. You could have taken up doing pull-ups anytime, but decided to do it when your girlfriend wanted to share an important achievement with you. ######
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Two of my daughters are getting married on the same day (I know smh). The older one thought the younger one did it to be malicious, but we've since confirmed that the wedding hall that the younger one wants to get married at only had a limited amount of slots, and that the next available slot is almost a year later unless someone cancels.
On top of that, they're getting married on separate sides of the country!
My husband and I decided we would each go to one of their weddings, but now both of them upset, because my older daughter wants me at *her* wedding, and my younger daughter wants her father to walk her down the aisle.
Okay, fine. We'll switch!
Nope! My younger daughter wants me at *her* wedding, and my older daughter wants her father to walk her down the aisle!
I'm about ready to throw my hands up!
I was on threeway with my daughters this morning, and they were bickering so much I just got fed up and said that I wasn't going to either wedding and hung up!
I felt bad about it a little later, but I honestly think this is the best solution if they can't be adults and decide this amongst themselves reasonably. ######
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YTA
You and your younger daughter are assholes. The fact that you easily accepted her reasoning and didn't push her for another venue or waiting a year knowing that this was the SAME date your older daughter had already chosen; tells me that there's a pattern in your family of younger daughter doing as she pleases at the expense of anyone in her way.
YOU and your husband are now acting like BOTH your daughters are in the wrong.
Again, you are a huge asshole.
Edit:
Thank you kind stranger for the gold award!
My first one ever.
Thank you for the silver!
Edit #2:
Thank you for the multiple awards. ######
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We're from Iowa. Granted nothing ever happened, the weather isn't all that great. She moved to LA to find work behind the scenes on TV. She basically works in an office that reps "social media celebrities" and no one that I've ever heard of. She just talks endlessly about LA-life, the beach, how glamorous it is, etc. In reality she's broke, can barely make ends meet, really doesn't have many friends and there are a lot of ugly people out there. It's just neither interesting nor impressive. It's overrated like the $15 cold pressed juice she can't afford but buys so she can take a picture of it. I guess LA is a good place to live if you are filthy rich but a terrible place if you are broke. I finally told her that and she got mad. The truth is that Australia is a million times better than LA. ######
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YTA
She got out of a no name town, and you’re stuck. Yes, living in LA is difficult, but there’s a certain level of effort that gives satisfaction in return. The cold pressed juice tastes sweeter when you worked your butt off to get it.
Australia isn’t a city, btw. ######
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I have always tried to teach my daughter to be respectful to others and herself. When she was 16 she had wanted a tattoo and I told her that it was her choice but a condition with living in our house was that such a thing is not permitted. I told her that I felt that tattoos were something that I believed were unnecessary and not a good way to treat your body.
My daughter is almost 20 now. A week ago I accidentally walked in on her in the bathroom. I quickly turned away but couldn't help noticing that she had large parts of her body covered in tattoos. I am shocked that I had not noticed them earlier because in the short glimpse I got it looked like her whole back was tattooed as well as many others elsewhere. The only explanation I have is that she must have always had them covered in clothing around me.
I confronted my daughter about the tattoos later and she initially denied them. I told her I know what I saw and she eventually admitted that she had got them and hid them from me because she knows I am against them.
I was deeply hurt by what she had done. The tattoos were hurtful because she knew I was against them but my hurt is not just about the tattoos. She has been living with us without paying board despite working full time and I am also angry that she is wasting her money on tattoos rather trying to pay her way. The reason why we have allowed her to live with us without paying anything is we wanted her to be able to save to buy a house and get a head start in life. I was extremely angry that instead she was blowing her money on something she knew both her parents were against.
I ended up telling my daughter that she needs to move out which of course led to major arguments and drama. I have now cooled down and my husband is saying maybe I was too harsh. He is also angry but thinks kicking our daughter out is an overreach. AITA for my stance on this? ######
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YTA
Imagine having to explain to people you’re estranged from your daughter over some ink ######
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Captain should say it all, I’m the male in this situation and I already have established that I’m paying for the pill (it’s not expensive and money isn’t the issue), but it started the CONVERSATION that I thought it was reasonable to go half on it since we both took preventative measures and a simple mistake happened ######
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YTA
If moneys not the issue then a fair split is? Well plan B causes cramps and sometimes bleeding so id say you have the better end of the deal since you don't have to actually take the pill. ######
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I’m her father.
I have told my daughter(age 15) to stop drawing on herself more than 3 times. She has disobeyed my orders and continued to draw on herself. Mainly on her legs and arms. She draws things like Chinese symbols and doodles and scribbles in marker and it looks trashy and ugly. Today I told her to stop drawing on herself for the 4-5th time, and she back talked and said, “we aren’t going anywhere so nobody is gonna see it”. And, “I like drawing on myself because it’s a way to express myself”.
So I told her, “it’s ugly and I don’t wanna see it”. Then she sassed me and said, “then don’t look at it”.
I immediately got mad at her and yelled at her to stop disrespecting me and told her that she has to obey everything her mother and I say, right when we say it. Then she started crying. I continue on and say that this household is not a democracy and she doesn’t have a choice and she has to do what her parents tell her too. After that I say that I’m tired of her and her siblings arguing on things they can’t have the freedom to decide. Then I walk out of the room to calm down. She is in her room now and I’m wondering now if I was too harsh on her.
So, AITA? ######
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YTA
Great way to ruin a relationship with your kids. Just an excellent hill to die on. ######
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Rather simple problem, I have a 4yo and an 18mo daughter, both of whom like to "draw". Their drawing mostly at this point consists of scribbling, but my 4yo is starting to draw people, houses etc. My wife likes to buy the big boxes of markers crayons, I'm talking the 50 pack of markers, 152 count crayons etc. Then when the girls draw, she gives them ALL of them. As expected, the entire pack of markers get opened, and thrown on the ground and quickly dry up and become unusable, and the crayons get thrown around, and end up under furniture and end up lost. My wife over the years has bought probably 5 boxes of markers, and countless sets of crayons all to replace ones that have been lost.
My preference is to give each of them two different random colors, and they're FINE with that. If either of them ever looked at me and asked for a specific color, I'd give it to them in a heartbeat, but so far, that hasn't happened. I'm fighting with my wife every time I walk into a room and find an entire box of markers/crayons strewn around a room, AITA for getting upset about this? Do I just need to suck it up and admit that I have to buy new markers every couple weeks? ######
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YTA
From a child development standpoint, giving them multiple choices is important. It’s also important to use this time to teach them to clean up and take care of their supplies, not to limit them. When your 4 year old goes to school next year, she’s going to have to be able to handle more than just 2 markers at a time. ######
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My sister is going to turn 18 next year, since she was very young she has felt bothered by her nose. It's big (think Alba Flores's nose but thicker) and doesn't really suit the rest of her face at all. So, our parents told her that she could get a nose job if she didn't change her mind by the time she was 18.
Fast forward to now she's very excited since her birthday is so close and our parents have already set aside most of the money she'll need for the procedure. Since last year though, a couple of family members started to send her some money for the procedure as a way of showing their support and my sister has been overjoyed.
Yesterday, my sister received a couple of bucks from a cousin of ours and after thanking her through a call, my sister started joking about how much I would give her since I'm her favorite sibling (we have a brother). I told her that I wouldn't be giving any money for that because I didn't see the point of it. She got very quiet and that was the end of the conversation.
Well, today our mother came up to me to have a talk. Apparently my sister felt "stupid" about the entire thing and was now feeling insecure because I said I didn't see the point of it. I told our mother that I indeed didn't see the point of it but oh well, I'm not her mother anyways and she can do whatever she wants. I have a right to not participate. Our mother didn't like my response but she didn't push the argument further and moved on. Still, the mood has been awful and both of them are barely speaking to me now. ######
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YTA
Your title is a bit misleading, because based on what you wrote nobody is upset about you not chipping in for it (which would have been a ridiculous expectation) but because you told your sister that didn't see the point of her dream of many years.
You could just have laughed it off when she made her jokes about your contributions. ######
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About a week ago one of my sister's friends was kicked out of his house by his mom. The kid is very nice but it is sort of a pain to have another person in the house. The house is now really cramped and it's making me very stir crazy. My parents told me the other day he will be with us for another 3 months. They never asked me if I was fine with it or anything like that. I just came home one day and they just said he'll be staying with us. WIBTA if I complained about this kid staying with us? ######
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YTA
Your parents are responding to an unexpected, emergency situation. This was not planned and it shows that they have generous hearts and are willing to help in times of need. They did the right thing.
You are reacting in a very entitled and selfish way if you complain about not being consulted. ######
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A lil backstory: I'm 34M, and have never come close to having a SO. And I don't mean I'm one of those people things never got serious with, I mean I've never even had a woman express the tiniest interest or go along if I did. It goes without saying that I'm a virgin, but I've never even had a kiss or held hands with a woman.
Before anyone asks, no, I don't think I'm entitled to those things, or that there's something wrong with women for not being interested in me. I'm not some incel dipshit. I'm just an overweight guy with bad social skills.
And yes I've tried therapy. The therapist told me to lose weight and "get out more". Fat lot of good that advice did me.
Anyways, at my age I'm pretty much the only single guy left in my social circle, and as a result pretty much every gathering involves a large amount of everyone else getting affectionate with their partners.
It's not that I resent them being happy or that I dislike their partners. It's just that it hurts seeing everyone around you holding hands, kissing, sweet-talking, leaning on each other, and stuff all the time, when the closest I've ever come to that (and at this rate probably ever will) was being paired with a girl classmate in school for projects (which, I might add, they quite visibly disliked).
Last Friday we were out at a local pub, and sure enough it was three pairs of people and me. We weren't at our table for long before one of them had their girlfriend leaning into their lap, and another one of my friends was playing with his partner's hair.
I held it together for as long as I could, but when one of them started making innuendo about their (R rated) plans that evening, I kind of lost it. I didn't raise my voice or insult them or anything, but I told them I was sick of them "rubbing each other in my face". From then on dinner was awkward but not hostile.
They acted like I was the worst person ever and haven't really been very nice to me since. Was I the asshole? ######
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YTA
Your insecurities are your problem. Why should everyone around you ignore their partners just so you feel better about yourself? No one is rubbing anything in your face. Jealousy is an ugly color.
Work on yourself. Evaluate why you think women aren’t interested. Build yourself up. Make an effort to meet people. Try dating apps just to get yourself out there and try. Don’t put other couples down because you feel bad. ######
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My girlfriend sells used/vintage clothes on the side for extra money. She found some old Levi’s at a thrift store we both go to but she ended up not buying them because she was on the fence about them for some reason. A few days later I texted her from the same store while she was at work. She asked if i would buy the jeans while i’m there and she’ll pay me back. I found the jeans and they happen to be my size so I tried them on. I liked them a lot and they fit perfectly so i bought them for myself instead. She said i bought them out from under her, it was a selfish thing to do, etc. I argued that they were free game since she didn’t buy them when she was there the first time. AITA for keeping the jeans instead of giving them to my girlfriend so she could sell them? ######
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YTA
Your girlfriend asked you to do her a favor and pick them up for her. And your response was, "No, I won't do that favor for you. Also, I'll rub it in your face by buying them for myself!" ######
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When I was 18 I got pregnant with my boyfriend at the time. He really pushed for an abortion but I had extremely strict parents who were against it, so I had her. She’s now 13, beautiful and very popular. Her father isn’t in her life. I love her, it’s a given I love her, she’s my daughter.
I’ve never been an overly affectionate person, cuddling and verbally showing my daughter affection just isn’t something I feel comfortable doing, and I didn’t think it was much of an issue to her.
Last night at the dinner table, we somehow got onto the topic of affection. She opened up and told me that she was jealous of her friends families who were open with love and displayed lots of affection. She said she wanted to discuss the potential of telling each other we love each other and hugging and stuff. I told her that I don’t feel the need to tell her I love her, and that she should just know that I do because I’m her mom.
She got upset and went upstairs to her room, and I heard her on the phone to her best friend saying that she feels like I don’t love her. I talked to my parents about it and they told me an I’m asshole for not having at least a conversation with her about it. AITA? ######
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YTA
Your daughter is clearly feeling like she isn't loved at home and literally asked for help. Your reaction was to tell her no.
Is it such an imposition to say the words "I love you"? Expression of affection is a big thing for someone who is struggling with their identity (like most teenagers are). They need to hear that they have someone in their corner. Just being her mom is NOT enough for her to know how much you love her. ######
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My son and DIL recently had a baby. They were at our house last night and my wife's God father was there as well. My wife's father was kind of a creep. He had multiple wives and a couple of them were younger than my wife, and this was his best friend so he is a bit of a womanizer, but a very nice man. My children have known him their whole lives.
He commented that it was a shame the baby doesn't look like my wife. I mean it kind of is. My wife is stunning and got a pretty easy ride out of it, but I can understand why a new mother wouldn't want to hear that. He made another comment about it's such a shame the baby didn't get my wife's green eyes because she would have been so beautiful.
DIL said looks don't matter and he kind of laughed it off. He then told a kind of embarrassing story about my wife's modeling days, but she laughed it off. DIL wouldn't let it go and asked why he sees his God daughter in a sexual light and why he cares so much if the baby looks like my wife. My wife told her to let it go and she called him a creep.
I told my son he needs to take his wife and leave because she isn't going to insult a family friend in our home. Now DIL is saying she is stressed about having us around the baby because we didn't shut him down. I mean I don't know what she wanted me to say, but any child would be lucky to look like my wife. ######
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YTA
your "friend" sounds like he is disappointed that your granddaughter is not up to his standards to start grooming. ######
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Hello Reddit!
So our group of friends consists of me (19 F) and 5 guys (20-21 M), one of them being the friend that I will talk about next.
He has a gf about the same age as us, and they've been together for a around a year. The girl is ok, she's ok to have an occasional chat with, but what bothers us is that she has nothing in common us.Most of the times she's out with us she barely talks with us. She is just there, as if she is spectating.
We've informed our friend on many occasions that it would be nice to see him alone from time to time, but he didn't took it very seriously.
A few days ago I couldn't take it anymore and told him straight to the face that it's time he stops bringing her when seeing us, simply because it's not her place, and it's weird for us, as we would sometimes would not be able to talk in our specific way ( a lot of dumb jokes, but they make sense as they are our inside jokes).
He got really mad and started acting childish, and the next time we went out, brought her again.
So, am I the asshole for telling him to stop coming with her? ######
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YTA
You’ve even said that there is nothing wrong with this girl. You just don’t want another female there. And yes, you don’t mind having other gf there every once in a while. That still doesn’t excuse the fact that this is merely about you wanting to be “one of the guys” at the majority of your meetups. ######
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Okay, here is some background info. My wife and I are divorced, and my wife remarried a very wealthy man and I believe they are spoiling our daughter (12 F) and attempting to turn her against me (42 M). I work in a restaurant and am a single father, so I can't afford ridiculous luxuries such as new iPhones and air pods for my daughter every Christmas that she seems to receive over there. I finally had enough when she came to my house with an iPad that is worth half of my rent, and I told her that if she is going to walk around acting wealthy she should at least be able to help with the rent and other necessities. I made her get a job reffing local soccer games which she does all weekend (half of her earnings go to bills, the other half go in savings) and I restricted her from using the fancy tech she gets at her mother's. I feel that this will better prepare her for real life and have her be less spoiled, but her mother got wind of it and said that it was not necessary and is taking away the freedom from her childhood. They are both very angry with me. AITA? ######
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YTA
You’re kidding. You’re a troll, right? Gotta be. No way someone would genuinely think “they’re spoiling her and _turning her against me_!” and believe **taking her electronics away, forcing her to work, and having 50% of her earnings go towards bills** would do anything other than make her resent you.
We’re talking about a **12 year old.** You are both wrenching gifts away from her and using her to make ends meet. I wonder why you and your ex split up.
And yes, while it may be legal depending on where you live, that doesn’t make it morally right. She didn’t _do_ anything to deserve this. Your ex wife is giving your _child_ nice things. If you’d only have more confidence in your ability to raise your daughter, being “spoiled” would be far less of a concern. Material goods be damned.
Edit: your edit is even more damning. Your ex cheating is irrelevant to the situation at hand; I don’t know why you’d add that as if it would excuse what you’re doing to your kid. Again, just sounds like you’re bitter and taking it out on the wrong person. Implying all the commenters are children as you act entitled and petulant. Troll or not, it’s sad in multiple ways. ######
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So I proposed to my fiance around late last year and we are still planning our wedding.However she wanted to do have a big traditional singaporean wedding which could cost upwards of $50,000, and I was against the idea of spending that much money on just one day.So instead of spending a lot of money on the wedding, I bought a nice apartment instead.I am considering just having a reception, so anyway I wanted to surprise her with her an apartment since we both currently live with with our families. I talked to some friends but the reaction was a bit mixed.It is a nice apartment and I have already bought it with my money.I haven't told her about this and wanted to surprise her with it right after our wedding. We have talked about buying an apartment before and she did list everything she wanted, and the apartment that I did buy has all of those requirements. Some say I am going against her back, but I just want to give her a big surprise. ######
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YTA
You've bought her an amazing apartment which would be lovely if not for two important things:
1. You have deliberately spent the money she thought would go on the wedding without talking it through with it.
2. You took away the chance for her to house hunt with you and be a part of the decision making.
Perhaps she is the kind of woman that likes other people making her decisions for her? Perhaps she will love that she no longer gets her dream wedding? Perhaps not. ######
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My niece is a college student who moved into her old grandmother's house by herself for the rest of the semester. She doesn't have a car. Due to the current circumstances in our world, I've been coming by every week or so to go grocery shopping with her. I came by to the house yesterday because a plumber came over to figure out what's wrong with the toilet. I noticed she had lots of food boxes sitting on the kitchen table. They didn't look like they were opened, but the table was flooded by packages of cereal bags of bread, etc There was also flour on the floor near the dishwasher. I told her "Make sure you clean your table off. A lot of these things can go into cabinets. That's gross. That bag of potatoes can go in that cabinet over there. And make sure to clean the floor (due to the flour)." She looked annoyed with me but didn't say anything. I also told her to make sure she puts the fan on when she takes a shower,
There was another time she said she cooked meatloaf. She had bought potatoes to eat with the meatloaf, so I asked her if she fixed mashed potatoes with it. She said "no," I asked, "Why not?" She seemed annoyed and said, "I didn't want to"
We were also in the backyard one day and I noticed there were lots of sticks in the backyard. I started picking them up and she began helping me. As we were picking them up, I mentioned a few times, "There's a lot of sticks" and she didn't say anything. I'm wondering why she never picked them up when she's there by herself and has more time on her hands. Do I sound too nosy? AITA? She seems kinda hurt when I say things to her sometimes. ######
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YTA
You're not necessarily an asshole because of the kitchen thing (like...if it was bad enough to be a health hazard, although the way you describe it it sounds like you were karening out over some mild clutter), but hooooooly fuck the rest of it sounds like you would be.
Whether she does or does not make potatoes is none of your business. Why she doesn't spend time out in the backyard picking up sticks is also none of your business.
"Boy, there sure are a lot of sticks out here, huh? *hint hint*"
*eye rolling intensifies.*
Edit: also, yeah you're nosy. What she does when she showers is...again...none of your business, and presumably most non-idiot 22 year old women know how the fan works.
Edit 2: you edited your post to add that one time she forgot to put the trash cans back? How did you even notice this? How much time do you spend following your niece around and *WHY*?
Lmaoooo just noticed you also added in that it would be "more comfortable" to eat at the table after she cleaned it to your standards. She's not dumb. She knows having an empty table would make it easier to eat off of. She's just not eating off of the table because she's 22 and living alone. *Dinner? Cereal on the couch it is!* ######
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I'm a RN who works in NYC (I commute from a neighboring county, takes about 45 minutes to get to work with no traffic).
I don't need to explain how horrible the situation is right now on my unit, but today at least I saw more dead patients than alive ones. I wrapped more bodies for the morgue than I ever have in my 6 years of being a RN.
After leaving work around 7:30pm, I drove home. The roads were completely empty right after I got out of the city. I guess I was a little hard on the gas (78 in a 65). I really didn't notice since I typically go 5 over, but this was my fourth 12-hour shift, and I was going in tomorrow to help the unit since we are overwhelmed.
After I passed a cutout in the highway (cop almost never sits there), I saw him and braked.. too late. He had pulled out and had his lights on.
He asked where I was going/why I was going so fast and I explained I was a nurse (I had scrubs on) and that I really wanted to get home so I could shower, eat some dinner quick, say goodnight to my kids and fiance (I sleep in a separate room to keep them safe). He then said to hold tight... came back and gave me a ticket.
Now typically I support LEOs, I think they have a tough job and when done right are great people. But here I felt it was so wrong. I said "really?? you're giving me a ticket" and he said "yes maa'am you violated the law and there are consequences for that." I just was at a loss of words and told him he was despicable for doing that, he replied "haha, okay"
Now before everyone says to get off my high-horse, please... I've been given a ticket before while heading to the beach with my girlfriends and I fully accepted it and had no reason to speed. But today, with everything we are facing, I just felt like it was a slap in the face. Especially that the NYPD and FDNY applaud us as we enter/leave work. It felt horrible.
However... now the pre-bed time emotions are hitting me and I feel bad for being nasty to the cop. So , AITA here??? ######
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YTA
You're doing an important job, and if you were rushing to the hospital to save a dying patient, then maybe you'd have a point. But you don't get a pass to arbitrarily break the law just by virtue of being a nurse.
>But today, with everything we are facing, I just felt like it was a slap in the face.
I could equally imagine the cop thinking that a nurse, someone that people are rightly thinking of as heroes, deciding to flaunt the law and verbally abuse him when called out on it was also a "slap in the face". ######
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She has had zero contact with her ex since they broke up years ago. There is no reason for me to feel threatened by this painting or her ex. The painting was a replication commissioned by her ex after she mentioned she really like the original. This painting sits on the kitchen counter in the apartment that I see everyday.
While she says she has no romantic attachment to it, she says she really loves it because it’s her first piece of real artwork that she’s ever owned. I’ve tried to not let it bother me since I found out where it came from, but I hate seeing it because it reminds me of the very romantic gesture from her shitty ex. I myself am an artist, and it’s difficult for me to understand how someone can separate art and emotions. I’ve jokingly referred to it in casual convos, and we finally had a serious, open discussion about it. She’s offered to get rid of it and says our relationship and my feelings are more important than that painting.
And now I just feel stupid for letting it bother me. Am I right in feeling it’s weird that she still has it? Or am I just being insecure and should I just drop it and just swallow the constant reminder that she’s dared to date anyone else before me (/s)? Why does this bother me so much? Am I the asshole? ######
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YTA
You're being insecure and putting far too much stock into a piece of art. She's told you that theres no romantic attachment, she has given valid reasons why she wants it, yet you are still bent out of shape. ######
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My gf is 28 and has a whole shelf of skincare stuff in our bathroom. I have no clue what she's spent on it in the past but it has to be well over $500. She has a routine that she does first thing in the morning and before bed and it has 5 or 6 steps I believe. It's all fancy creams and face masks and whatever an essence is. She enjoys doing it, it makes her happy, she says it's nice especially in the evening to just unwind with it. Cool, no issue. I don't get it and I'm pretty sure it's all just hideously expensive moisturizer, but whatever.
Yesterday she was doing her skincare and I was sat on the edge of the bath, chatting to her as she got ready like we sometimes do in the morning, and she pointed out that she'd just discovered she was getting wrinkles in her forehead. I mean, she's 28 so it's going to happen eventually, I don't know what she was expecting. But she seemed super bummed about it and said "it's all downhill from here" in a sort of sad way. So I tried to find the silver lining and I said "well hey, at least you know all that skincare shit doesn't work, so that's $100 back on our monthly budget." She shot me a look like I'd just murdered our cat in front of her and said "that's not funny" and she's been kind of off with me ever since. I assume she's off with me because of what I said, but was it really that bad? Is she just feeling shitty because she's getting wrinkles? ######
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YTA
You're basically adding insult to injury by saying shes a rube for spending all that money (*her* money, since you dont know how much it costs that suggests it wasnt coming out of your shared budget) thinking it would stop from ever getting wrinkles. Unless she believes in immortality she obviously knew she was going to get wrinkles at *some* point, the creams just delay and minimize the damage.
Pointing this out feels very much like an unwanted and unwarranted 'told ya so' ######
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So due to recent events, I(20f) am no longer able to live at my college dorms and have moved back in with my parents. My mom has been sick for over 2 weeks now, nothing serious just a pretty bad cold. My dad used to make meals for me and her, but since he has a very strict diet, he was having to make a separate meal for both himself and us every night and it left him with very little free time.
Since my mom is sick, he asked for me to take over making meals. My mom uses hello fresh, so the recipes are fairly easy to follow. But at the same time, I have very little experience with cooking so it often takes me much longer than it would someone with more cooking experience. At first I didn’t mind cooking for us every night, it was good practice, but now it’s almost 3 weeks later and I’m still making dinner almost every night, I only get breaks if we order out.
I feel like maybe my mom is feeling well enough that she should be able to at least make dinner some nights. She’s still coughing some, but at the same time she’s much better than she was a couple weeks ago. Last night she FaceTimed with her friends and was being super rambunctious, she also got absolutely wasted. She also seems fully capable of making herself snacks and treats when she wants them. I just feel like if she’s able to do all that, she should be able to help out with dinners.
I just worry I’ll come across as lazy or selfish if I ask her to start cooking dinners again. So what do you think reddit, WIBTA? ######
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YTA
You're 20 years old, you should be able to cook a meal. Your mother did it for you for years without taking a break. Time to repay that. ######
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Me and my ex are good terms still talk to each other frequently. I like to catch up on what's going on in her life and vise versa for her. We've been broken up for 3 years .has been going through a hardship recently, so I invited her over to just chill and talk with me.
My girlfriend is one of those people who thinks you should cut contact with your previous partner. No photos, delete text and whatever, I don't agree. That's why I didn't tell her until like 8 months into our relationship. Her response to that is for another time and place. So I tell my girl, that my ex will be coming over and should find something to do for a couple of hours. "Go for a walk, go hang out with friends just something". I'm the type of person that wants the setting to be intimate. It's personal, no reason for my girl to be here with us. They meet each other once but for a minute at most.
Her response " this seems shady as hell And trying to push me to the side" I responded with she "wouldn't understand because you don't keep a bond with your previous partners".
What ended up happening is, we had food, relaxed & talkedm typical friend stuff. My girl on the other hand, in my opinion went a little over dramatic. Stayed at her parents house all night. Maybe I read the situation wrong, what do you guys think? ######
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YTA
You want to set up an intimate environment to help your ex through a hard time, and push your current SO out of the house to do so, and you don’t see an issue?
Which relationship is more valuable to you, current gf or ex? ######
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Since my last post got so much activity & my husband agrees with me I want to know if you think I’m the asshole here.
I planned my first ultrasound for a Wednesday last week and it was amazing, we got to hear our baby’s heart beat and we will never forget that moment.
Unfortunately, I had to call off of work to take the whole day and be able to see my baby.
A coworker of mine his wife was having some pretty minor surgery and so I got overruled on the calendar for the day off because his was more important. My boss said I could just use my ultrasound as my lunch hour, but I wanted to take the day to embrace that first connection as a family.
So I called out of work that day and apparently it left us very short staff and unable to perform surgeries until my coworker had left his wife resting at home and came in.
My husband agrees that we aren’t assholes, that we deserved to bask in that bliss but my whole office is angry with me and said it’s definitely an asshole move. Nobody told my coworker he was being forced to come in. He volunteered. But tell me reddit, am I the asshole?
Edit to add that we are vet techs in case that helps ######
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YTA
You think basking in the bliss^WTF of your ultrasound is more important than your coworker supporting his wife through surgery, so instead you just dumped everything on your coworkers, and screwed up the schedule for the veterinary practice's surgeries, which will have affected all of the patients and their owners.
God you're lucky you're pregnant, because it makes it much harder to fire you, and that is the kind of shit you deserve to get fired for.
Edit:
Holy hell I've just realised you're the same AH who [said her sister isn't a "real" mother](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gm9qys/aita_for_telling_my_sister_she_isnt_a_real_mom/) because she didn't give birth to her kid... are you trying to win an award for being the worst person on the internet today? ######
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Me - 30 year old man
Her - 26 year old woman
​
Me and my girlfriend has been together for 8 years, and our relationship is nontraditonal. I've taught her about the universe, freedom and i've told her that i think marriage is a trap and having kids is not a good future. We still hang out and make love, but don't talk to eachother in baby voices or walks in the park while kissing.
I personally hate mushy relationships, and have hate on Romantic Comedies. I feel a burning despise when i see young couples kissing like they're making a baby in public.
​
Recently, when we where watching a romance movie that was going on TV, i saw her sighing. There was a scene were a man and a woman were on a romantic picnic. She said "Do you want to go one of those sometime?". I though she was joking, and jokingly said back in a baby-voice "sure, honeybuns."
​
Next day, she wakes me up wearing a sundress and has made tons of sandwitches that she's put in a basket. I've always made fun of romantic people, and i thought she was taking the joke further and started laughing without control.
She got confused and asked me why i was laughing. I understood she wasn't joking and told her it's a little unusual and mushy to do a morning picnic. She got upset.
AITA ######
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YTA
You sound absolutely insufferable and I have no idea why she's lasted this long. ######
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This happened a few minutes ago so it's still fresh on my mind, so I ordered chick fil a for lunch with doordash. So the guy finally arrives and he hands me my bag and instead of my Sprite in the chick fil a cup he hands me a sprite bottle and tells me that when he was driving to my house with my food the top wasn't put on correctly and when he hit a pothole the drink spilled everywhere. He told me he went to a store that was nearby and picked up a bottled sprite, I asked him why didn't you go back and he said he didn't want to be late. I told him that I want a refund for my drink and he said that he bought me another one with his money and I told him I don't care and he went in his pockets and gave me my refund for my drink. I felt like I was in the right but my roommates overheard our conversation and said that I should have just taken the sprite he gave me and leave it at that. So reddit AITA? ######
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YTA
You ordered a Sprite, he brought you a Sprite. I don't see the reason why you need to make this guy's job harder because you can't pull ice out of your freezer. ######
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Basically my (13M) mother cane out as lesbian after 17 years of marriage with my dad.
She filed for divorce and devastated the whole family, she kept trying to convince me everything will be alright and stuff so I called her the stuff I mentioned in the title,
And now I don’t really want to speak to her anymore, how could someone build a life of 17 years on lies? And then suddenly decide they aren’t attracted to that person from the beginning, and on top of that she just bailed on us,
I told her even if the court gives her custody, I won’t be staying with her and there isn’t anything she can do about it, she started crying and stuff.
I’m really overwhelmed and don’t know what I’m doing ######
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YTA
You need therapy. Your whole family probably needs therapy ######
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Me and my SO have been together for a year and some change. Have talked about long term goals many times like Getting our own place. But we haven't actively looked at apartments together.
For the past 2 months and half I have been staying at his place for the most part. But technically, I still live at home with parents. So today I decided to go to store, asked if I could use his car, he said fine. When I get the store, I was just getting the stuff the essentials. Making a key was a second thought. But then I saw the key machine when walking so I decided to make one then surprise him when I get home.
So when I get home from your store, I surprise him. Least to say he was not happy with it. Told me everything from "I was being sneaky for not telling him", "I want his apartment for free use", "I want to snoop when he's not around", "Not respecting his privacy", & Etc.
It's not like I haven't stayed at his place when he hasn't been home. I told him the key would be for when I need place when his isn't home or when both of us run errands we will both have convenience of having a key. Instead of us sharing one key then picking whoever has the key to do their errands fast for it doesn't cause trouble for other person. He still won't come to his senses, if I was in the wrong tell me. Need another perspective. ######
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YTA
You making a copy of a key shouldn't be a second thought that you just surprise him with. It's a big deal to have a key to someone's house. I'd recommend giving him the key and apologizing and use that to start a serious conversation about moving in together. ######
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I’ve been having issues with this woman pandering to my son for years (she has known my son since he was 2) but really only took a stand when she moved in and my ex started relying on her to help out with MY kids (like watching them if he is busy, or asleep as he sleeps early for work). HE is the father and it is his responsibility to do things for his kids, not some stranger whom I do not trust at all. Plus my older son has been telling me my four year old calls her mom sometimes. hugs and kisses her, and calls her family which I feel is totally inappropriate.
So I’ve been telling my son that she is NOT his family and she is a stranger. She is only his dad’s family, which is true. He does not have to listen to her, only his dad, which also true. I’ve also asked him to stop hugging and kissing her but mostly because of COVID.
I guess my son reported this to his dad because suddenly my SO is calling me an asshole because he says it’s his GFs house too and if he wants to let her help him with the kids, and if the kids want to bond with her or consider her family it’s their choice and I’m “teaching them to hate like me”. I don’t think I’m teaching them to hate at all as I teach them to respect all people. He also says now my son is acting distant and saying weird things to his GF. I feel like if my son is acting this way that is his choice.
AITA? ######
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YTA
You literally sound like the stereotype of the bitter, jealous ex who can't let go of a relationship that ended ages ago here. You say she's known your son for two and a half years but call her a "stranger". What kind of mother makes no effort to get to know someone who spends that much time around her child? Apparently the one who never works or sleeps or goes shopping or do anything but stare at her child 24/7 because, honestly, your complaint that he OH MY GOD has someone watch over his young son while he SHOCK, HORROR sleeps is just plain ridiculous.
The more people who love and care for a child, the better. I don't believe you want her to stop showing affection to your son because of COVID, you just want to hurt this woman for the crime of being involved with someone you're not with any more. ######
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So, I’ve been dating H for about six months and everything going great, though if I had to pick on thing to change it would be that she’s a pushover, and can’t say no to anyone. Still when we’re alone or around our friends everything is going really well. The biggest issue is her overly zealous mother, who she was forced to move back in with during the pandemic.
H’s mom doesn’t like me, doesn’t think I’m good enough for her daughter, but at the same time always sucks up to me, because my dad is prominent in our community, and she thinks I’m like her daughter’s golden ticket to money. I’m definitely a jokester, always the life of the party, and honestly a lot of people don’t like that about me.
So, this weekend restrictions eased up, and her uncle invited us over for a little family get together. The mom was sort of rude like she always is, but everyone was having fun. I should mention her mother is a very strict Christian, H went to Catholic school, and he mom actually used to volunteer with some debutante thing where they taught the girls “respectable” behavior, so not the most fun woman.
Anyway, I was teasing H, and she took a dab of frosting from a cupcake and smeared it on my face. She knows me well enough to know I’m competative, and kind of an ass. Now the face just seemed too obvious so I smeared the rest of my cupcake on her cleavage.
She sort of muttered something about I take stuff too far, but she was laughing, and then I saw her mother’s face. Her mother looked pissed, so I said let me get that babe, and licked some of it off. Now H is mad because she had to listen to her mother’s lecture and she said I need to learn to tone it down when I’m with her family, but she says she loves me for me and I was just being my asshole self. I think she needs to learn to stand up to her mom, so AITA for having a little food fight with my girlfriend? ######
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YTA
You licked her chest at a family get together. Where the hell is that ever appropriate? To make matters worse, you know the family’s morals would contradict that action. It’s not the fact you smeared cake. It’s how you proceed after. I wouldn’t expect the family to “like” you any time soon.
You’re also not an “ass” you’re just immature. ######
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So my friend and I have been friends for years. I do appreciate her as a friend but her delusions about herself are extremely frustrating to me. She tells me that she is mistaken for being mixed race, has people ask to photograph her eyes because they're so "blue" and that she has dark skin...
1. I find it to be vain and uncomfortable when people shower themselves with praise.
2. She literally has none of the qualities she claims to have. She looks Irish, she has green/hazel eyes, very fair skin and looks European.
Recently, I did her make-up and told her "I'm using purple for green eyes and the lightest shade to match your skin"... she got really upset with me and said "they're blue, are you colour blind"? and "I'm not pale! I need one of your darkest shades". (she always wears the wrong shade of foundation) AITA? ######
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YTA
You legit have a post two weeks ago about being ashamed of how beautiful you are. Sounds to me like you can’t stand anyone else who likes their own features.
I’m also going to go and guess your really
Pale friend with definitively not blue eyes isn’t anything of the sort. No super pale people think they are really dark, nor do people no know their eye colour. It’s absurd.
You don’t like people being into themselves but you are ASHAMED of your own beauty? And how everyone always compliments you? Something smell fishy here.
Not to mention your whole
Post history is a hot mess. Your best friend died of heroine overdose 120 days ago, but your cousin is still doing a documentary on them shooting up as of two days ago? ######
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I was mates with a guy back high school until he got involved with my sister. I will admit he wasn't the greatest of guys at all and was deep into drugs but yet again he was the one she chose to sleep with and fell pregnant. She dropped out of college and left to stay with our aunt out of the county during the pregnancy. I was just told she left to the UK for a job.
That was 5 years ago and she's married to another guy who I believed was the father (and is acting like it) but after my aunt kind of made it slip to me that she was pregnant when she left I started connecting the dots and realized it was my old mate's son. I messaged her to confirm and she just sent me a message saying I should mind my business. Well he should know so I called him and told him that he has a son and hung up. He called my sister and I don't know what he said but I'm pretty sure he wants to be involved. My sister is hella pissed and is calling me an asshole for telling him after she said I shouldn't.
The family is pretty torn on this so just wondering if I am TA. ######
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YTA
You know she was pregnant when she left, and you know who she was involved with, but you don't know that your connected dots are correct for sure and there may be other aspects to the story you haven't been made aware of because you have no direct connection to it. You don't know who knows what, who has been told what, or even 100% that this guy is your nephew's dad. Imagine how this is going to turn out if it comes out that he isn't.
I'm not saying don't be concerned for your sister, but if there are things she needs to tell people, you need to trust that she'll do that on her own time. You've taken away her privacy and right to be the one the news comes from based on a hunch you haven't even properly confirmed (your sister saying you should mind your business is absolutely not confirmation that your hunch was right). ######
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My friend \[17f\] has a somewhat popular instagram account-- think 10-20k followers. She posts a lot of photography/artsy stuff with a few pics of her in cute outfits. Our high school is in her bio (like how people put the acronym of their school and their graduating year) and her photos are all tagged with location, so it's pretty easy to see where she lives.
Anyhow, she received a DM from a guy who lives in our city-- in fact, I know him since we play on the same club soccer team, but I digress. She showed me the DM, and it wasn't rude or lewd or creepy or something. It was just 'hey, my name is \_\_\_\_\_\_\_, and I think you're pretty cute. Since we're from the same place, would you like to hang out sometime?'. Pretty chill and non-threatening imo.
She isn't really looking for a relationship right now, which is understandable, so she didn't want to. She left his DM on read without responding, which I kind of felt was rude. As a guy who has asked girls out before, I know how hard it is to work up the courage to go up to a girl and say what you're feeling-- even over DM. Getting rejected sucks, ofc, but even a simple let-down isn't as soul-crushing as just being left of read.
She doesn't have an obligation to answer him, but I think it would be nice to, since just leaving him on read would probably do a number on his confidence. So I told her she might want to just send a simple 'sorry, I'm not looking for a relationship right now' type DM back if she wanted to be nice.
This pissed her off, and she went on and on about how she doesn't *have* to. Again, I'm not saying she has to, I just think it's kinda rude to leave him on read. Typing up a simple 'I'm not interested' message wouldn't take long.
AITA for suggesting this? ######
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YTA
You have your answer right there towards the end—
“ She doesn't have an obligation to answer him“
She doesn’t owe him anything just because you know him. He took his shot and part of growing up is that some people are going to literally not respond and that’s ok! Life goes on, more girls to DM! No one owes a stranger a response to a completely unsolicited DM. And you’re going to need to get rid of this idea that women, in order to be “nice”, are required to respond to someone. She doesn’t know him, owes him nothing. ######
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My BF recently lost his dog of 17.5 years. He’s been in mourning and having a horrible time getting over it, so last week I got him a puppy to surprise him.
Well he wasn’t mean but he did tell me off.
He told me dogs shouldn’t be surprises and if I had told him he would have wanted to be apart of the selection process because its the funnest part
He also said he was really looking forward to being able to pick his own puppy when he was over the loss. He also said he doesn’t see himself bonding to this puppy because he dislikes the breed (pug) because “Pugs are extremely unethical ugly and poorly bred animals” and he prefers dogs that can go for hikes and bike rides with him
I told him that he’s just having a hard time adjusting and over time he’ll come to love the puppy. He wants me to give the puppy back to the breeder or keep it for myself as he just really doesn’t want it. I think that’s so hurtful to the puppy who did nothing wrong and I feel like if he tried he’d really love him (the puppy)
AITA? ######
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YTA
You have to be ready for another dog to cone into your life, I would have hated it if someone had sprung a puppy into me when I was grieving the loss of my dog.
Also, I’m kinda with him on the pug thing, I’m not keen either. Sure you didn’t just do this because you wanted a pug? ######
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The title probably screams NTA, but before you judge him hear my story.
I (f24) cook dinner for my boyfriend (m26) almost every night and he does the dishes, so we have a good system going. I usually try to make something that we can both enjoy, but I have one dish that I love eating and used to make a lot before we moved in together, which he doesn't like because it contains a lot of garlic.
It's been a year or so since I last made the dish and I was really craving it. So I told him I would be making it tonight even though I know he doesn't like it. I also told him that if he didn't want any he could make himself an omelet, since I don't really like them and he sometimes wants it for dinner.
However now he has announced that he is going to buy a pizza, and I don't know, I know this is such a petty thing to get annoyed over, but I can't help but feel like my cooking isn't really needed. But I did tell him that it was okay for him to make something else, but I was expecting it to be something I don't enjoy as much.
Link if anyone is curious about the dish: [https://www.bingingwithbabish.com/recipes/2017/5/4/aglioeolio](https://www.bingingwithbabish.com/recipes/2017/5/4/aglioeolio) ######
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YTA
You got something you really wanted, he got something that he really wanted. Why did he have to cook? Getting take out in that scenario is perfectly acceptable ######
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So my step daughter (20) moved in with me, my husband (her father) and our two children (13F & 15M) at the start of lockdown because I don’t know, she wanted to. She’s was adopted by my husband and his ex wife because her biological mom died when she was almost 5, and had been a druggie and things like that. She never had a dad. So it is understandable that she has some mental heath issues because of it. Sometimes she’ll just think too much and cry randomly, and other things. so she’s in therapy. She also sometimes has overreactions to anger and stuff. So here’s the situation. The other day I wanted to go out with my daughter for our daily walk, just mother and daughter. We do this 3-4 times a week. This time, (she has never asked before) my stepdaughter asked if she could come too, she could really do with a walk because of her anxiety and blah blah blah. I don’t think she should’ve asked because she still had chores to do and it was meant to be just me and my daughter. She said she would really like to come, but I said she hadn’t done her chores so she couldn’t come. She looked upset but just went off to her room. When we got back, I was tidying some stuff and went to check if her room was clean and found her crying. Honestly, I thought it was pathetic because it was only a walk and she could have just gone on her own after her walk. I walked back out, told my husband and he called me a massive jerk and went to go and console my stepdaughter. So AITA? ######
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YTA
You go to your mother-daughter walks several times a week and the one time your stepdaughter wanted to join you said no? She clearly wanted to spend time with you and you coldly rejected her. And reading between the lines it seems that your attitude towards her is generally cold. I feel bad for the stepdaughter. ######
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So my wife dyed her hair today. While I normally like dyed hair on other people, I have a hard time enjoying it on her. For some reason I just really don’t like that she had tattoos and that she dyed her hair.
The thought of it makes me visibly upset. She already told me she won’t get any more tattoos, but near the start of our marriage I told her that I didn’t like her with dyed hair.
She likes it though and now that she is allowed to have it dyed at work she went ahead and asked what color she should get. I told her that I didn’t want her to, because I didn’t like her with dyed hair. She got upset and wanted me to be supportive so I helped her choose a color.
She dyed her hair and i guess it looks alright, but I can’t help but get this bad feeling in my gut and my head when I see it.
I just don’t like it. I don’t like seeing it. I want her to look like her. She wants to be able to do things she likes. I want that too, and I want her to be happy, but I just really don’t want her to have dyed hair. I don’t want her to have tattoos either but that’s not much of an option now. ######
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YTA
You don’t have to like it but if it’s affecting your relationship, that’s on you. You should love someone no matter what, but especially when they are happy. If she is happy with dyed hair, and you don’t love her when she is free, happy, and expressing herself, who/what do you really love then? You say you want her to look like herself... Well, that IS herself.
If you are visibly angry when she exists/expresses freely as herself, do her a favor and end the marriage. She can find plenty of other loving men who will love her hair colors and tattoos, love her when she is happy, and celebrate it all. ######
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My 16yo son has always HATED school. He does well, but is bored. His counselor suggested taking short-term elective summer classes. Those classes would count towards his high school credits when he starts his senior year. His counselor also suggested taking community college courses that would satisfied required classes that he would have to take as a junior or senior (i.e. history, poly sci). The community college classes would be free, online and would count towards his college degree. The goal was that by the time he started his senior year, he would only have to take a couple of bullshit classes and stay at school for a couple of hours a day. Literally, he could come to school at 10AM and leave by noon. That really excited him.
After two years of summer school and online community college classes, he has accrued so many credits that he could hypothetically graduate in 2021 instead of 2022. My son really wanted to do this and I said no. My fear is that he will regret it. He doesn't know anyone in the class of 2021 and will miss out socially. Plus , if he were to graduate early then he would resume going to community college full-time on-campus and I don't think he's ready for that sudden change. ######
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YTA
You don't think he is ready? I think you aren't ready. ######
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I know the title makes it sound worse than it is, bear with me. Also throwaway because my partner uses reddit. Obligatory comment re: formatting because I'm on mobile etc.
I (27F) have a mild dairy allergy, it usually manifests as sniffles, I generally have a chronic runny nose or some sort of cough. I get very frequent sinus/chest infections and generally am a bunged-up, sniffly individual. I also have pretty nasty allergies and a few other autoimmune conditions that generally lead to my health not being amazing and I get sick pretty often.
All of this usually goes away during the periods where I eat vegan - I'm vegetarian and eat vegan I'd say 4 days of 7. Sometimes I'll take a notion and go vegan for a couple weeks at a time and during these periods my general sniffly-ness and infections etc go away and I usually feel great. But I love cheese and I love ice cream so here I am, sniffling and coughing away.
Anyway, my partner (29M) whom I live with has asked that I just stick with vegan to stop my sniffling/coughing/general snottiness. We live together and he says he's sick of my sniffling, going through tonnes of tissues and being sick every few weeks. I should maybe include he isn't vegan or vegetarian, but mostly eats that way because I do most of our cooking.
I can admit that I'm probably pretty disgusting and snotty to be around when I'm going through a bad spell. And someone who is sensitive to noise probably couldn't cope with me. But I've been with him 8 years and this is only now becoming an issue. I've been like this my whole life so I personally barely notice anymore, this is just my reality (I say this until I have a sinus infection next week and I'm sick in bed but anyway). Also, cheese.
So, reddit, AITA for not going vegan and stopping my general snottiness? ######
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YTA
You don't have to be this way, but you're choosing it by eating foods your allergic too.
Especially right now with the current crisis, a compromised immune system leaves you as high risk if you catch it, to have terrible complications.
>But I love cheese and I love ice cream so here I am
There is no substitute for cheese, but there are plenty of non dairy ice cream treats you can have!
* Sorbet, which is like Gelato but it contains only syrup or fruit juice and water
* Coconut milk ice cream
* Almond milk ice cream & ice cream bars
* Soy milk ice cream sandwiches and bars
* Fruit juice bars ######
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I'm American, of mostly Irish or German descent i dont know nor do i really give a shit. I went to University in Poland and Lithuania and I speak both languages and know the countries really well since i spent a lot of time there.
I am back in the US at the moment and I was at a work event and everyone had name tags. Someone came over towards us and introduced himself to us, i was with the CEO and and few other higherups and his manager among other people. He says "hi I'm first name Szymczyk and I work in this section, i think we will be working together"
I asked him, I'm sorry what is your last name? I can see that on his name tag its Szymczyk but he pronounced horribly wrong. He's obviuosly Polish American but from like 4 or more generations ago as he pronoucned it completely wrong. He pronounced it like "Zim Zack" when its really pronounced more like "Shim Chick"
I could his name tag and I asked "umm your name tag says Szymczyk (pronounced correctly" and he says no my last name is Szymczyk "zim zack" I know how to pronounce my own last name.He kept saying imrude and im a jackass for telling him how to pronounce his own last name. Everyone else is looking really confused and find it weird. I then told him I lived in Poland and I speak Polish and I have friends with the same last name, i know how its pronounced and I then pulled out google translate and it was pronounced exactly like I said. His manager starts lauging his ass off while most of the other people are at least smiling a bit. He walks away and goes to get a drink
Some of the people said i shouldn't have embarassed him like that and i was an asshole but i dont think so. It defeintly left a very bad impression on his new manager and the CEO who he met for the first time. ######
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YTA
You do realize he learned how to talk and say his name from the people he got his last name from?
Who are you to correct someone on their own name? If anyone knows how to say their own name it's the person that has carried it their entire life. ######
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This happened back in February and I really don't think it was that big a deal, but my gf still brings it up whenever she's annoyed with me.
For my birthday, my gf offered to take me and my best friend out for dinner. She said she would pay for everything, as her treat.
Our city has a very hole-in-the-wall type place that specializes in chicken dishes and is pretty popular, and I really wanted to check it out. At first, my girlfriend was on board, but then she checked the website and Yelp reviews and found out that there was nothing vegetarian on the menu (the only two side dishes were rice and refried beans, which were cooked with chicken broth and lard, respectively). She asked me if I could please choose a restaurant that had a vegetarian option, but I said I really wanted to go to this one.
My gf and I met my friend at the restaurant and had a good time (or so I thought), but when my gf
and I got home she was in a bad mood and said it was really rude of me to pick a restaurant that excluded her. She said she didn't enjoy having to pay to sit there for an hour and watch us eat.
Obviously I wouldn't have chosen this restaurant for a regular date night. But it was my birthday, and I
really don't think it was a big deal to go to a restaurant I wanted to try for a special occasion. It was just one meal! AITA? ######
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YTA
You could have checked that place out literally any night with your friend and without your girlfriend.
How do you think it was acceptable to eat in front of her when there wasn’t even a single side dish she could snack on? She had to watch you assholes eat, pay for your meals and then figure out something else for herself.
You were incredibly inconsiderate. She was nice to still pay for your meals. I would have told you to either pick a place I can eat something or kick rocks. ######
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For some context, my fiance and I live together in a one bedroom apartment. With quarantine, I've been working from home, and he's been working the overnight shift. As a result, we're always together for all but a few hours of the day. This has been really wearing on me.
Today, a package I ordered arrived, and he immediately started pestering me about what it was. Normally, this isn't really an issue, and the item itself isn't anything of note (water flavor drops), but I didn't really want to answer him. Looking back, I just wanted to create a bit of privacy and space. He kept asking and when I wouldn't tell him what it was, he declared that it, "Wasn't funny anymore," and then left the room and gave me the silent treatment until he had to leave for work several hours later.
I know if I had told him, it wouldn't have been a big deal. AITA for not telling him? ######
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YTA
You caused a fight because you didn’t want to take the time to say “it’s water flavor drops” which takes less than two seconds to do. ######
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I’m going to try to keep this short. I have a 19yo cousin who has never had a job, doesn’t go to school and has severe anxiety. I bring her around my boyfriend and our friends a lot to help with her loneliness. She eventually started talking to my boyfriends band mate. I told calmly told her how I didn’t like that because my boyfriend has been working on music since before he knew me and we should respect his space. I also told her we need boundaries and I don’t want her talking to his friends because they’re a bit older (26-27) My boyfriend told his band mate the same thing and they both agreed to stay friends but they wouldn’t see eachother.
Fast forward a couple months and I find out she created an onlyfans account. The link to it was on her bio on Instagram. She didn’t post any nudes or relatively sexual as the pictures but she’d promote herself on the comments of those pictures. I look at the people she’s added and 1/3 of them were my boyfriends friends. She added 2/4 of my boyfriends band mates.
I think she thinks I’m being a hater but if I’ve expressed my boundaries to her before I think it’s fucked up that she disregards them. I told her she’s a really really pretty girl and she doesn’t need to be crossing my boundaries that she’s agreed to in order to be successful on that site. Needless to say she’s since blocked me from that Instagram but has me on her main one 💀 ######
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YTA
You can't set boundaries on someone else's friendship!
Listen to yourself
>I bring her around my boyfriend and our friends a lot to help with her loneliness.
So, originally you encouraged friendship
>She eventually started talking to my boyfriends band mate. I told calmly told her how I didn’t like that because my boyfriend has been working on music since before he knew me and we should respect his space.
???? How do they even equate?
> I’ve expressed my boundaries to her before I think it’s fucked up that she disregards them
Wow. You obviously have a very high opinion of yourself ######
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I had 3 kids before getting married my husband has none. We just had our first child together and I got on birth control soon after birth without telling my husband.
He loves our/my kids but wants more but I don't. He also the sole provider and I'm a stay at home mom. AITA for "trying to conceive" knowing it ain't gone happen. Or should I give him more children? ######
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YTA
You can't just be misleading. You guys have to get on the same page here, and you can't do that if you're lying to him.
You have EVERY RIGHT to take birth control, but pretending to be trying for another kid when you're really not is why you're the asshole.
Again, you DO NOT need his permission to take birth control, your last question makes it sound like you only have two choices: keep lying or start trying, but you can tell the truth AND keep taking your BC ######
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So I am 19 Male. I am away from college but I am still financially dependent on my parents they pay for my college they pay for my car insurance my gas for my car and give me a month spending budget of 600 a month. Well when I found out that I wasn't getting a stimulus check because my mom claimed me on her taxes last year I called her to ask her why. She said because she still pay for everything for me. I tired to explain that I was also 18 at the end of the year. She asked why do I care if I was getting a stimulus check anyways I told my mom going to use to it buy non essentials since I am only allowed to spend the 600 on food clothes and things like that. She said that's not what the stimulus is for. I said it was still my money. When I asked my girlfriend(23F) about it she said I was being a spoiled brat. AITA? ######
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YTA
You can't have the perks of dependency and the perks of independency at the same time. ######
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Our son is 1. Recently he’s stopped sleeping through the night. Previously he’d wake once or twice and was generally easy to drop back off again. We didn’t do any sleep training or anything, he just sort of did it himself.
For the past few weeks this has increased to 4-5 wake ups. We’re exhausted and don’t even have to actually go into work - lockdown etc. He isn’t easy to settle at all and either is breastfed or given a bottle to settle him again. Both methods take time and prolong the wake up.
I’ve started thinking about how on earth we will focus when we have to go into the office and function. Currently we’re both having a late morning/early afternoon lie down because we’re tired. Our relationship is suffering as well - we’re arguing more.
And then tonight, my turn to do the wake ups (whoever does the wake ups, gets the lie in the next day) and it’s 3am, he’s woke up 4 times already. So I just decided enough was enough and to leave him to it. He’s crying, obviously, but he’s also tired so there’s periods where I think he starts to nod off, but then wakes and cries. I’ve been watching the monitor closely to make sure he’s ok. Honestly, he just sounds pissed off but I do think it was working.
However, my husband got really mad and stormed in to give him a bottle. I tried explaining that we’ve never even given him the chance to call asleep independently, it’s either feeding, rocking, taking him for a walk/drive so how is he going to learn. I don’t think he’s actually hungry during the night; he eats masses of food during the day, plenty to drink etc. I think the night feeds are a crutch.
Am I the asshole?
PS; this isn’t a post asking for sleep training tips. I know as a parent you can’t help but share what did/didn’t work for you.
PS; if you MumShame me, I will end you. My son is my world. ######
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YTA
You can't decide in the middle of the night when it's your turn to keep the baby happy and asleep that you aren't going to do that anymore.
Is there anything wrong with letting your kid self soothe ? Of course not but the way you went about it was messed up. ######
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My boyfriend had passed away due to heath complications and I have been crying ever since. My son hasn't really shown any emotion to his passing but I thought that he was just holding it in, so yesterday I called my son downstairs and asked him to talk. I told him that he doesn't have to hold in his emotions about him passing and that it's ok to be sad, and he told me "I'm not sad" I was taken aback because he was like a father figure to my son. I asked him why and he said "I mean it's sad he passed away but I don't really feel affected by it" I told him that he was like a father to him and that he should be very upset and he said that he didn't think of him like a father figure just because he lived in our house. I yelled at him for and said "Is that really all you think of him he would try to be the best father figure for you and you say these disrespectful things, I told him to go to his room and we haven't spoken since then. My friend had called me asking how I was holding up and I told her what happened and she said that she agreed with my son with her saying "He doesn't have to be sad" so reddit AITA? ######
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YTA
You asked, he answered. You can’t tell someone how to feel.
Be careful invalidating this. You will soon teach your son to lie to you about how he’s feeling.
Respect his feelings. ######
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So I (22F) decided to start an OnlyFans during quarantine and asked my boyfriend (22M) for his opinion. He said he would feel uncomfortable if I started one and that he didn’t want me to do it.
I asked him why and he said that he was allowed to feel uncomfortable about his girlfriend taking pics of her naked body for strangers. I told him it shouldn’t matter because he knows I love him and only him and if he feels weird about this he’s probably insecure about himself and trying to control me.
He called me an asshole and said he needed some time to himself.
AITA for defending myself about something I am legally allowed to do? ######
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YTA
You asked his opinion. He told you how he (quite reasonably) felt about it.
Posing nude for strangers may not be a big deal for you, but it may be a relationship dealbreaker for him. That's not him being controlling, or necessarily even being insecure. That's a reasonable standard a lot of people have in relationships. What makes you the asshole is you bulldozing his reservations because it wasn't the answer you wanted to hear. ######
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So I (22F) decided to start an OnlyFans during quarantine and asked my boyfriend (22M) for his opinion. He said he would feel uncomfortable if I started one and that he didn’t want me to do it.
I asked him why and he said that he was allowed to feel uncomfortable about his girlfriend taking pics of her naked body for strangers. I told him it shouldn’t matter because he knows I love him and only him and if he feels weird about this he’s probably insecure about himself and trying to control me.
He called me an asshole and said he needed some time to himself.
AITA for defending myself about something I am legally allowed to do? ######
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YTA
You asked his opinion and now you're berating him for it.
When BF leaves you, know it's your fault. ######
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My daughter's fourth birthday was today and a few of our family members dropped off gifts since we couldn't do a face-to-face celebration. One of the gifts was a Barbie; her first Barbie.
I'm a white dude in his late 20s, I know nothing about Barbie but I have the naive notion that a girl's first Barbie is something special, right? Something for girls to attach to because there's lots of different Barbies: mother Barbie, construction Barbie, lawyer Barbie, etc. I dunno I'm talking on assumptions since this isn't an area of expertise evidently. My daughter would look at this Barbie and think "this is who I'll be and I can be anyone, just like Barbie can".
The Barbie she received was ethnically asian, something my daughter cannot really personify as herself as since she's, well, white. To me at least, an asian Barbie for a white girl is less about empowering and more about "just being a toy".
I decided to hide the gift so I can order her a white Barbie on Amazon, give it to her first, and then give her the asian Barbie after the fact. I want her first Barbie to be special. Then the Barbies can hang out and etc, her Barbie will have a friend.
I'm a widowed dad so I'm trying to do what I think would benefit her the most when she's lacking a strong female presence in her formative years. Am I so far off base? Am I the asshole? ######
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YTA
You are making way to big a deal out of this.
My favorite Barbie was a Hawaiian Barbie. Her black hair was magnificent. I am neither Hawaiian nor black haired. ######
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I always thought my neighbor, we'll call him Dave was a great guy. He's retired even though he's in his fifties and oftentimes when I get home he'll be sitting in a lawn chair in his front yard drinking scotch. We'd usually shoot the shit for a while and he started bringing out an extra glass for me.
Anyway, I knew he was married but I never met his wife until recently, which is kind of strange now that I think about it. Like it seems she never leaves the house. Anyhow, the other day he invited me in for a glass and I gladly obliged. When I met his wife it was kind of a shock, because she was young, like must have been 30 years younger than him.
Not only that, but she looked about 12 years old. I mean, she was under 5 feet and maybe 80 lbs, and she didn't seem to speak hardly any English, which I thought was kind of odd. Dave told me he met her on a trip to Thailand a couple years back. I asked how they communicated and Dave said that he was fluent in Thai. But the whole time he never said anything to her in Thai, just broken little English sentences like you would use with a baby.
The whole thing was awkward as hell and after a few glasses I made an excuse and ducked out. Well, I rescinded Dave's offer to the BBQ I'm having this coming friday via facebook. I have teenage daughters and I just kind of feel he might be a pervert since he's dating someone who literally has a body like my twelve year old.
My wife says I'm overreacting and that Dave is harmless. And that I'm an asshole for revoking his invitation, especially since he'll be right next door. Also, when he asked me why I told him the truth, which my wife called "undiplomatic." So who is in the right here, me or my wife? ######
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YTA
You are assuming he is a pervert because he has a younger Thai wife...
Asian people are on average smaller than Caucasians, so her height and weight aren't indicators here of anything inappropriate. ######
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I (37f) am going through a very nasty divorce with my husband (40m). We have a 13 year old daughter.
2 months ago my husband was at his parents house. I went to a bar and had a one night stand for reasons I wont state here. He found out and immediately filed for a divorce and didn't give me time to explain (which I admit I hold resentment for).
Our daughter does not know about me seeing someone else and her father wont tell her, so she wants to primarily live with me even though we have joint custody. She came home from school one day and told me about a plan to get her father to let her stay at my house full time. She was going to spread a few rumors to get his friends to persuade him that he is wrong. I had no problem as I wanted my daughter to live here.
Soon, half of his friends turned on him and the rest told him to let her stay here which he did. I saw him a couple days later crying at a bar and I felt bad at the moment until I saw him with a hooker next week. Though i really feel bad that some of his friends left him as i know how that feels.
So reddit, AITA for letting my daughter go through with this? I really just wanted to live with my daughter as she is all I have left without my husband.
Edit: I see how I could be the asshole for cheating I will contact the father and if he doesn't tell her the situation (which he doesn't know the full story too) then she can know that way. ######
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YTA
You allowed your 13 year old child spread rumors about her father, causing him to lose friends and joint custody of his daughter. This is beyond an asshole move. This is something very cynical and evil. ######
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I love my wife, I really do. We’ve been married since we were 19, together since we were thirteen and have three children together. Our eldest is a thirteen year old girl, and we have two boys aged 7 and 5. Our sons are pretty much carbon copies of me, whereas our daughter is the carbon copy of her mother.
My wife has pretty severe ADHD, is extremely messy, has a major attitude sometimes and is incredibly forgetful and sporadic. She wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until she was 21, and struggled a lot during her childhood, so we were extra cautious to look for covert signs with our daughter.
The older our daughter gets, the more she is displaying very obvious ADHD traits to me. Whether they are or not, she’s extremely forgetful, unmotivated, messy, has absolutely no coordination. Like it was with my wife in the beginning, I found it endearing. Now I find it extremely frustrating. Our daughter is currently on an ADHD assessment waiting list.
Last night my wife and I were in bed talking about our daughter, as she’s recently told us she’s got a new boyfriend. I ended up saying that I noticed she’s been really forgetful recently, and my wife laughed and said “she’s got that from me” and I said “don’t know why you’re laughing like it’s a good thing, it’s pissing me off”. She stopped laughing and apologised but seemed really upset. I’ve tried to apologise but it’s true, it’s not a good thing. AITA? ######
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YTA
You \*know\* these are not things that are within anyone's control. It's not your wife's fault she has ADHD, or that it took so long for everyone to figure out what was going on with her.
You should be the first person to have \*more\* compassion and patience for your daughter. Instead you are saying she's 'broken' and blaming your wife.
I have no idea why your wife apologized to you. She was making a joke about something she has struggled with, and instead of laughing with her or keeping the mood light - you made it serious and lashed out at her.
How can you say such things about your daughter and have the audacity to blame your wife? I hope posting this story makes you wake up and see how cruel you are being to two people you claim to love. It's also not great that you so openly praise your boys for taking after you...it just makes you look sexist and arrogant. You really think you have no flaws and your boys are angels?
And \*\*OF COURSE\*\* your wife is now upset. You have deeply insulted both her and her daughter. You have fundamentally shifted your dynamic. You are supposed to be the person that loves her, and she probably felt safe with you.
Now she may be questioning that. I'm absolutely serious, if I were in her shoes, and my partner said something so thoughtless and cruel I would be seriously questioning the entire relationship. I would be hyper aware of just how much this unwarranted bias was affecting the children. I would be looking for how this intolerant opinion bleeds into my partner's behavior.
You've damaged your wife's confidence, sense of security, and trust. You may have made your daughter feel 'less than' as well. Parental favoritism is rarely well hidden. ######
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My boyfriend has very long hair. To keep it out of his face while he is at work and to keep comfortable he wears bandannas. to put it simply: he wears them too much. I told him I wanted them to stay in his locker at work or in his truck. He told me that he enjoys wearing them around the house and when he is doing yard work because they are comfortable. But he won’t wear them out in public when we go somewhere together. I wasn’t particularly happy with that but I dealt with it until Friday. I dropped him off and picked him up from work so we could go to fleet farm and pick up some supplies for a project, he wore the bandanna he wore to work on the ride there, in the store, and all the way back home. I took all his bandannas when I woke up and threw them out the next morning. He claims he just didn’t think about it and I should’ve said something. I didn’t think I needed to since this was his compromise. AITA? ######
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YTA
WTF does it matter? Is his comfort not important to you?
You’re controlling and have no right to throw out his stuff. ######
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