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But I... I just retired all my material. Is Carlin still around? Why is it the best landscaping in the neighborhood is always in a cemetery? Everybody's dead. That's funny. You gonna do that?	저 방금 은퇴했잖아요? 칼린은 아직 안 갔겠죠? 왜 경치 좋은 곳엔 늘 묘지가 있죠? 다 죽었는데 재밌네요, 쓸 거예요?
-Do what? -The bit. Can I do that? Well, that's not a bit. I'm just sayin'. -I'm gonna do that. OK? -You can't do it. It's my bit. If it's a bit, it's anybody's bit who does it.	- 뭘요? - 그 개그 써도 돼요? 이건 개그가 아니라 그냥 그렇다는 거죠 - 내가 쓸게요 - 내 개그예요 네 거 내 거가 어디 있어요?
But I said it first. Come to think of it, I've been doing it for a while anyway. Jerry, Alan King would like to meet you on his territory. He'll guarantee security.	내가 먼저 했어요 생각해보니 내가 전에 했어요 제리 앨런 킹이 자기 영역에서 만나고 싶대요 안전은 보장한다고요
OK. Hey! Hey! Mister, I know this is yours. Don't you want it? Sorry, kid. I don't do this joke anymore. Come on! Look, I'm sorry. It's over. But this is a solid bit! Please!	알았어요 아저씨! 아저씨! 이거 아저씨 것 맞죠? 안 가져요? 미안하다, 꼬마야 이제 이 개그는 안 해 왜요? 미안하지만 인제 더 안 해 이건 진짜 괜찮은 개그라고요! 네?
All right. But I'm telling you for the last time. Ladies and gentlemen, Jerry Seinfeld. Thank you. Thank you. That was very, very nice. Thank you very much. Thank you.	알았어 하지만 이번이 마지막이야 신사 숙녀 여러분 제리 사인펠드입니다 감사합니다 정말 친절하십니다 고마워요 감사합니다
Excuse me? Perfect start, sure. Thank you I know it's not easy for an audience to give a standing ovation. There's always a few people that don't really want to do it.	네? 완벽한 시작이죠 고마워요 기립박수를 치는 게 쉽지 않다는 거 알아요 초 치는 사람이 꼭 있거든요
"Are we doin' this now?" So, anyway, I'm thrilled to be back here in New York. I love how certain things about New York never change. The cabbies and the BO.	'지금 하자고요?' 어쨌든 뉴욕에 와서 정말 기뻐요 언제 와도 변하지 않는 게 있어서 특히 택시기사 몸 냄새요
What is with the BO and these guys? How long are these shifts? Can't we get this man a ten-minute break for a shower? I love it when they put that cherry pop stuff on the dashboard so you get the cherry BO.	택시 기사들은 왜 몸에서 냄새가 나죠? 근무 시간이 대체 얼마나 길어요? 샤워할 시간 10분도 못 줘요? 대시보드에 체리 방향제를 놓으면 좋아요 체리 몸 냄새가 나니까요
I don't know what that's supposed to be. Even fruit showers more often than this. Well, you know, he's driving fast and recklessly... but he's a professional.	그런 게 있나요? 과일도 그보단 자주 씻겠죠 고속으로 난폭하게 운전하지만 프로잖아요
He's got a cab driver's license, I can see it right there. I don't even know what it takes to get a cab driver's license. I think all you need is a face.	택시기사 면허증도 버젓이 보여요 택시기사 면허증 따려면 뭐가 필요하죠? 눈, 코, 입만 있으면 돼요?
This seems to be their big qualification. No blank heads are allowed driving cabs in this town. Also helps to have a name with, like, eight consonants in a row.	그게 첫 번째 조건인가 봐요 '이 도시에서 달걀귀신은 택시를 몰 수 없다' 이름에 자음만 연속으로 8개면 유리하고요
Did you ever see some of the letters in these names? What planet is that from? You need a chart of the elements if you wanna report the guy. ""Yes, officer, his name was Amal and then the symbol for Boron." "No, it's not Manganese. I had the periodic chart with me at the time." But I love to travel. I love it whether it's a car or it's a plane.	그 사람들 이름의 철자 본 적 있어요? 대체 어느 별에서 왔죠? 그 기사 신고하려면 화학 기호표가 필요해요 '네, 경관님 이름에 붕소 기호가 들어가요' '망간이 아니에요 제가 기호표 들고 있거든요' 저는 차로든 비행기로든 여행을 좋아해요
I like to get out there, like to keep it moving. How about this crack squad of savvy, motivated personnel? The way you wanna set up your airport security, is you want the short, heavyset women at the front with the skintight uniform.	나가서 계속 돌아다니는 게 좋죠 유능하고 의욕 넘치는 특수부대도 있고요 공항 보안팀 맨 앞엔 꽉 끼는 제복을 입은 작고 무거운 여성이 있죠
That's your first line of defense. Then you put the bag on the conveyor belt. It goes through the little luggage car wash. Then you have that other genius, down at the other end, looking in the little X-ray TV screen.	그게 제1 방어선이에요 가방을 컨베이어 벨트에 얹으면 세차장 같은 곳으로 들어가죠 그럼 그 끝엔 천재가 앉아서 작은 엑스레이 화면을 봐요
This Einstein has chosen to stand in front of X-rays 14 hours a day... as his profession. Looking in that thing... I have looked in that TV screen. I cannot make out one object.	이 천재는 하루에 14시간씩 엑스레이 앞에 있는 걸 직업으로 선택했어요 쳐다만 봐요 저도 그 화면 봤는데 뭐가 뭔지 하나도 모르겠어요
"You know, we don't wanna hold up the line." What is the story on the sinks in airport bathrooms? That they will not give us a twist-it-on twist-it-off, human-style faucet?	'사람들이 기다려' 세면대는 왜 그렇게 생겼을까요? 틀어서 열고 잠그는 인간적인 수도꼭지가 없어요
Is that too risky for the general population? Too dangerous? We better install the one-handed, spring-loaded, pain-in-the-ass Alcatraz-style faucet.	그게 대중에게 너무 위험한가요? 그렇다면 수도꼭지에 스프링이 들어간 교도소 스타일로 만들지 그래요?
Those ones where you gotta go, "Hey, I got a little water there. "Hey, I got a couple of drops." What is it they think we would do with a faucet?	물이 찔끔찔끔 나오는 그거요 '두 방울 나왔어' 우리가 수전을 어떻게 할까 봐요?
Turn them all on full, run out into the parking lot, laughing, pushing each other into the bushes? ""Come on, the water's on, let's go!" "I turned it on full blast." "Who cares?! Water!" That's how they think we'll behave.	전부 틀어놓고 주차장으로 뛰어나가서 서로를 덤불로 밀치면서 웃어댈까 봐요? '물 나온다! 가자!' '난 끝까지 다 틀었지롱!' '물이다!' 그럴 줄 아나 봐요
Do the people that work in these little shops in the airport have any idea what the prices are every place else in the world? ""Yeah, $14, tuna sandwich. We think that's fair." "That's what we charge in our country." Then you get on the plane. The pilot, of course, always has to come on the PA system.	공항 매점에서 장사하는 사람들은 세상 물정을 모르는 것 같아요 '참치 샌드위치가 14달러면 공정하죠' '우리 나라는 그래요' 비행기에 타면 기장은 늘 방송으로만 인사해요
This guy is so excited about being a pilot, he can't even stand himself. ""Well, I'm gonna take it up to about 20,000." Then I'm gonna make a left by Pittsburg. "I'm gonna make a right by Chicago. Then I'm gonna bring it down to 15,000." He's giving the whole route, all his moves. We're in the back going, "Yeah, fine.	기장이 된 게 너무 신나서 일어서지도 못하죠 '6,000m까지 올라갑니다' '피츠버그에서 좌회전하고' '시카고에서 우회전한 후 4,500m로 내려옵니다' 경로를 일일이 설명해주는데 뒤에 앉은 우린 상관없어요
You know, just do whatever the hell you gotta do. I don't know. Just end up where it says on the ticket, really. That's my only concern. Do I bother him with what I'm doing?	그건 알아서 하셔야지 내가 어떻게 알아요? 목적지에만 데려다주면 돼요 그거면 되거든요 저는 기장을 귀찮게 하지 않아요
Knocking on the cockpit door, "I'm having the peanuts now. Yeah, that's what we're doing back here. I thought I'd keep you posted. I'm not gonna have them all now, I'm just gonna have a few. "I don't wanna finish it because it's such a big bag." Then the stewardesses have to come out. They have to do their little emergency equipment show. That thing they do. One of them reads it, the other one acts it out.	조종석을 두드리며 땅콩 먹는다고 보고하지 않죠 '우린 이런 거 하거든요' '그냥 알려드리는 거예요' '지금 다 먹지는 않고 몇 개만 먹을 거예요' '봉지가 워낙 커서 다 먹기 싫어요' 그런 다음 스튜어디스가 나와서 구명복을 설명해요 하나는 읽고 다른 하나는 행동으로 보여주죠
Hey, we have seat belts and oxygen masks Things for you to use They show you how to use a seat belt, in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.	'안전띠와 산소마스크가 있습니다' '이걸 사용하세요' 안전띠 사용법을 알려줘요 우리가 1965년 이후 차를 못 탄 줄 알아요
""Oh, you lift up on the buckle! Oh!" I was trying to break the metal apart. I thought that's how it works. I was gonna try and tear the fabric part of the belt. "I thought if I could just get it started..." Then they're always pointing out the emergency exits, always with that very vague point though, isn't it?	'아, 버클을 들어서 올리는 거군요?' '난 뜯어버리려고 했죠' '그런 건 줄 알았어요' '난 벨트 천 부분을 뜯으려고 했어요' '이렇게 시작하죠' 비상구도 알려주는데 그게 어딘지 잘 모르겠어요
Where the hell would these places be, would you say? The plane's at a 90-degree angle, your hair is on fire, you're looking for this. How you think you're gonna do there?	여기가 대체 어디예요? 비행기가 90도로 기울고 머리엔 불이 붙었는데 여기는 어디일까요? 찾을 수 있을까요?
She's thinking, "I'm getting out before you're getting out. "You're dead, you're dead, I'm gone." They always have to close that first class curtain, too.	'내가 너보다 먼저 나갈 거야'란 소리겠죠 '너흰 죽고 난 나갈 거야' 그런 다음엔 꼭 일등석 커튼을 닫죠
They always give you that little look. ""Maybe if you had worked a little harder..." "I wouldn't have to do this." It's a whole tiny world on the airplane, isn't it?	이렇게 쳐다보면서요 '그러게 더 열심히 일하지' '그러면 나도 이럴 필요 없잖아' 비행기 속 세상은 정말 작아요
There's always a small problem, gonna be a slight delay, we'll be a little late. I always go in the airplane bathroom, even if I don't have to go, I gotta go in there.	늘 '사소한' 문제로 '조금' 연착하고요 저는 일부러라도 비행기 화장실에 꼭 갔다 와요
It's nice. It's like your own little apartment on the plane, isn't it? You go in there, lock the door, the light comes on after a second. It's like a little surprise party.	비행기 속 나만의 공간 같잖아요 들어가서 문 잠그면 불 켜지는 게 깜짝파티 같죠
But I'm always impressed with the amount of equipment that they have in that place. I mean, it's little, but they got tissues, towels, closets, compartments, tiny slot for used razor blades. They always have that.	놀랍게도 그 작은 공간에 물건이 참 많아요 작은 휴지, 수건, 수납장 다 쓴 면도기를 버리는 쓰레기통까지요 꼭 있더라고요
Who is shaving on the plane? And shaving so much, they're using up razor blades? What, is the Wolf Man flying in there, for Christ's sakes? Who could shave that much?	누가 비행기에서 면도해요? 그것도 면도날을 버려야 할 정도로 많이? 비행기에 늑대인간이 탔나요? 누가 그렇게 면도해요?
So I'm supposed to go down to Florida next week after we're done here. That's where all my relatives live. I don't really wanna go. Florida... a lot of old people down there.	저는 다음 주에 플로리다에 가야 해요 친척들이 사는데 가기 싫어요 플로리다엔 노인이 많아요
They live in those minimum security prisons. That's where they put all the old people. What's with all the security there? With the guard gate, the arm coming down, everybody's got a uniform, guns...	경비가 약한 교도소 같은 곳에 노인들이 살죠 무슨 경비가 그렇게 많아요? 경비 초소에 차량 통제 제복 입고 총 찬 사람...
Are the old people trying to escape? Or are people stealing old people? What is the security problem? I just can't drive around there. You know how these old people drive, they drive slow, they sit low. That is their motto.	노인들이 달아날까 봐요? 노인 대상 도둑이 많나요? 왜 이렇게 경비가 많죠? 거기선 운전도 못 하겠어요 속도가 너무 느리고 사람은 보이지도 않아요 그게 철칙인가 봐요
The state flag of Florida should be just a steering wheel with a hat and two knuckles on it. And that left turn signal on from when they left the house that morning.	운전대에 손 두 개 그려서 플로리다 주 깃발로 삼아요 출발할 때 켠 왼쪽 깜빡이가 아직도 깜빡여요
That's a legal turn in Florida. It's known as an eventual left. You can signal this week, turn any following year of your life. You know how they do that? They just go, "Well, I'm old and I'm coming back. "I survived. Let's see if you can." One thing I do like about being with my older relatives is it makes me feel like a kid again. You know, they're feeding you. You're trying to steal candy.	플로리다에선 좌회전을 언제든지 할 수 있어요 이번 주에 지시등을 켜고 내년에 해도 되죠 이러죠, '난 늙었으니까 안 보고 후진할 거야' '안 죽었네? 너도 해봐' 노인들과 있으면 제가 애가 된 것 같고 맛있는 것도 많이 주셔서 좋아요 저는 사탕 훔치려고 하고요
Candy was my whole life when I was a kid. That was it. Family, friends, school, they were just obstacles in the way of the candy. "Don't go! They'll torture you, they'll kidnap you." "It doesn't matter, he has an Oh Henry! I have to take that chance. Get candy, get candy..." What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy?	저는 어렸을 때 사탕이 최고였어요 가족, 친구, 학교는 사탕으로 가는 장애물일 뿐이고 '따라가지 마 유괴해서 고문할 거야' '내가 좋아하는 사탕이라 어쩔 수 없어, 사탕...' '사탕을 준다고요? 누가 사탕을 줘요?'
Everyone that we know is just giving out candy? Are you kidding me? When is this happening? Where? Why? Take me with you! I gotta be a part of this. I'll do anything that they want. I can wear that. I'll wear anything I have to wear. The first couple of years I made my own costumes which sucked, the ghost, the hobo... no good.	'우리가 아는 모든 사람이 사탕을 그냥 준다고요?' '진짜요? 언제요? 어디요? 왜요? 얼른 가요!' '나도 할래요 뭐든 할게요!' '입을게요' '입으라는 대로 입지, 뭐!' 첫 2년은 제가 의상을 직접 만들어서 엉망이었죠 귀신, 괴물
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, got the Superman Halloween costume, not surprisingly. Cardboard box, cellophane top, mask included.	3년째엔 마침내 부모님을 졸라서 슈퍼맨 핼러윈 의상을 샀어요 다들 그거 알죠? 상자 속엔 반짝이는 의상과 가면까지 들었어요
Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask? That was good for about ten seconds before it snapped out of that cheap little staple they put it in there with.	가면에 달린 고무줄 기억나요? 싸구려 스테이플러로 박은 고무줄이 끊어지기 전까진 아주 좋았어요
It broke. I don't believe it! Wait up, you guys! I gotta fix it! 'Cause when you're little, your life is up, the future is up, everything you want is up.	문 두들길 때 끊어져 버려요 '기다려줘, 얘들아 이것 좀 고치고!' 어렸을 땐 뭐든 받아야 하니까요 누가 줘야 해요
""Wait up, hold up, shut up." "Mama, clean up, let me stay up." For parents, of course, it's just the opposite. I had my little costume, I was physically ready, preparing myself, I did not try on the costume prior to Halloween.	'기다려줘, 잡아줘, 닥쳐줘' '엄마, 청소해줘요 놀게 해줘요' 반대로 부모는 보라고 해요 저는 의상을 사서 입을 준비만 하고 핼러윈까지 입지는 않았어요
Do you remember... This is an obscure one, but... On the side of the box, I remember this from my Superman costume, it actually said, "Do not attempt to fly." They printed that as a warning 'cause kids were putting it on and... going off the roofs.	사람들은 잘 기억하지 못하는데 슈퍼맨 의상 상자 측면엔 이런 경고문이 있었어요 '날려고 하지 마시오' 그런 경고문을 쓴 이유는 애들이 그걸 입고 지붕에서 뛰어내렸기 때문이죠
I love the idea of the kid who's stupid enough to think he actually is Superman, but smart enough to check that box before he goes off the roof. ""Let me see if it says anything about me being Superman." "Oh, wait a second here, I..." So anyway, but, my hopes were up, I was thinking that this is probably the same exact costume that Superman wears himself.	자기가 진짜 슈퍼맨인 줄 아는 바보가 지붕에서 뛰어내리기 전에 경고문을 봐서 다행이에요 '여기 슈퍼맨 관련해서 뭐가 쓰여 있을까?' '아, 잠깐...' 어쨌든 저는 그게 슈퍼맨이 입는 진짜 그 의상인 줄 알았어요
It's all kinda loose and flowing. The neck line kinda comes down about there. Flimsy little ribbon string in the back. Plus, my mother makes me wear my winter coat over the costume anyway.	너무 크고 흐느적거려요 목선은 여기쯤 내려오고... 뒤엔 허접한 끈이 있죠 게다가 엄마 때문에 겨울 외투를 걸쳐야 했어요
I don't recall Superman wearing a jacket. cheap, corduroy, phony fur. So I'm going out, I'm trick-or-treating, but the mask's rubber band keeps breaking and keeps getting shorter. I'm fixing it, it's getting tighter and tighter on my face.	슈퍼맨은 외투를 안 걸치거든요 제 외투는 싸구려 인조모피였죠 사탕 얻으러 나갔는데 고무줄이 자꾸 끊어져서 점점 짧아지고 고칠 때마다 얼굴을 점점 조여요
You know, when it starts slicing into your eyeballs there, and you're trying to breathe through that little hole... getting all sweaty. "I can't see, I can't breathe, but we gotta keep going, get the candy!" And a half an hour into it, you just take that mask. Bing-bong! "Yeah, it's me, give me the candy.	눈알은 패일 것 같고 그 작은 구멍으로 숨 쉬기 힘들죠 진땀이 나요 '안 보이고 숨도 차지만 사탕을 얻어야 해' 30분 후엔 가면을 벗어서 '띵동! 네, 저예요 사탕이나 줘요!'
"Yeah, I'm Superman, look at the pant legs, what do you care?" Still out there, going through the motions. Bing-bong! "Come on, lady, let's go. "Halloween, doorbells, candy, let's pick it up and..." "What are you supposed to be?" ""I'm supposed to be done by now." I got 18 houses on this block, sweetheart.	'이 바지 봐요, 슈퍼맨 맞죠 상관있어요?' 그래도 나가서 동작은 그대로 해요 '띵동! 얼른 나와요, 아줌마' '핼러윈에 초인종 울리면 사탕을 줘야죠' '넌 무슨 의상이니?' '빨리 좀 끝냅시다' '이 블록에서 열여덟 집이나 돌아야 한다고요, 아줌마'
"Just hit the bag, we hit the road. That's the way it works." Sometimes they give you that little white bag twisted on the top. You know that's gonna be some crap candy.	'얼른 주면 얼른 갈게요 다 암시롱' 입구를 비틀어서 막은 하얀 봉지는 싸구려 사탕이에요
Doesn't have the official Halloween markings on it. ""Hold it, lady. Wait a second. What is this?" The orange marshmallow shaped like a big peanut? Do me a favor, you keep that one. We have all the doorstops we need already. Thank you. "We're going for name candy only this year." Food is so complicated as an adult.	핼러윈 공식 마크가 없어요 '잠깐만요, 아줌마' '오렌지 마시멜로가 땅콩 모양이네요?' '이건 아줌마 드세요' '갈 집은 이미 차고도 넘칩니다, 고마워요' '올해는 명품 사탕만 받아요' 어른이 돼도 식품 고르긴 어려워서
You see people in the supermarket, they're just sweating it out. Nobody knows... "What do I eat? The protein, the carbs, the fat content. "Oh, my God, fat content!" We're just walking up to each other.	슈퍼마켓에서 고민하는 사람이 많아요 '뭘 먹지? 단백질? 탄수화물? 지방?' '세상에, 지방이 들었어' 남들에게 묻기도 하죠
"You look good. What are you eating? Maybe I'll eat that." The whole supermarket itself is designed to break down your sense of having any life outside the supermarket.	'몸 좋으시네요 뭘 드시죠? 저도 먹게요' 슈퍼마켓의 전반적 구조를 보면 외부 세상은 존재하지 않는 것 같아요
It's like a casino. There's no clocks, no windows, no easily accessible exits. You ever not buy anything in the supermarket and try and get out of there? It's impossible. There's no way out.	카지노처럼 시계도 창문도 가까운 출구도 없어요 슈퍼마켓에 가서 아무것도 안 산 적 있나요? 불가능해요, 못 나가죠
You can see what happens to people. You see that same person ten minutes later just... ""What aisle is this?" "Why did I come up here?" Always noticing something new.	사람들은 슈퍼마켓에 들어갈 땐 근데 10분 후엔 이렇게 돼요 '여기가 무슨 통로더라?' '내가 여긴 왜 왔지?' 늘 새로운 걸 찾아요
""They got them in mesquite flavor now." What is 'mesquite'? "I wonder if it's made from mosquitoes." Produce section I always find challenging.	'숯불 향이 새로 나왔네?' '숯불 향이 뭐지?' '숯을 갈아 넣었나?' 농산물은 정말 어려워요
There's always some special thing you're supposed to know. You know, about each fruit. "Summertime, make sure your peaches are..." I don't know, whatever it is. You gotta fake it. I'm shaking stuff, holding it up to the light.	각종 과일을 고를 때 알아야 할 게 너무 많죠 '여름 복숭아를 고를 땐' '어쩌고저쩌고' 흔들어보고 불에 비춰보면서 괜히 아는 척하죠
Cantaloupes rolling down the aisle. See the way that's fading left, that one's not ready. I don't want that one. I'm very impressed with this seedless watermelon product that they have for us.	멜론은 바닥에 굴려봐요 왼쪽으로 휘면 덜 익은 거죠 그건 안 사요 저는 요즘 나오는 씨 없는 수박이 참 인상적이에요
They've done it. We now have seedless watermelon. Pretty amazing. What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon, I wonder? The melons aren't humping, are they? They must be planting something.	성공했어요 이젠 수박에 씨가 없어요 놀라워요 씨 없는 수박은 대체 무슨 씨로 심을까요? 뭔가를 심어야 수박이 나올 거 아니에요
How does this work? And what kind of scientists do this type of work? I read this thing was 15 years in development. In the laboratories with gene splicing or whatever they do there, I don't know.	어떻게 된 거죠? 대체 어떤 과학자가 그런 일을 해요? 개발하는 데 15년 걸렸다고 읽었어요 실험실에서 유전자를 쪼개고 뭐 그렇게 했대요
I mean, other scientists are working on AIDS, cancer, heart disease. These guys are going, "No, I'm going to devote myself to melon. I think that's much more important.	어떤 과학자는 에이즈 암, 심장병을 연구하는데 이 사람들은 수박에 일생을 바쳐요 그게 더 중요한가 봐요
Sure, thousands are dying needlessly, but this... that's gotta stop. You ever try and pick up a wet one off the floor? It's almost impossible. "I really think we should devote the money to these studies." You gotta find it, hack your way through all the displays.	씨 뱉다가 죽는 사람이 있다면 당연히 연구해야죠 '뱉은 씨 줍기가 얼마나 힘든지 알아요?' '돈은 이런 연구에 써야죠' 진열된 걸 다 뚫고 찾아내야 해요
"Yeah, there it is. There's the milk." "Do we have any milk?" People are never sure if they have milk. You think you have milk, "We might have milk.	'저기 있다, 우유야!' '집에 우유 있던가?' 사람들은 늘 집에 우유가 있는지 궁금해요 있긴 있는 것 같아요
I know there's a carton in there, I don't know how much is in it. Well, what should we do? 'Cause you wanna be sure. There's nothing worse than thinking you have milk and not having it.	우유갑은 있는데 얼마나 들었는진 몰라요 그럼 어쩌죠? 확실해야 해요 있는 줄 알았는데 없으면 큰일 나죠
You got the bowl set up, the cereal, the spoon, the napkin, the TV, the newspaper, everything's ready to go. You go to lift up the carton and it's too light.	그릇, 시리얼, 숟가락, 냅킨 TV, 신문까지 다 준비하고 우유갑을 들었는데 너무 가벼워요
""Oh, no!" "Too light!" Like many of you are thinking right now. "You know, he's right. Maybe we should pick up some milk." So you pick up some milk on the way home.	'저런!' '너무 가벼워' 지금 그런 분 계시죠? '맞아 우리도 우유 사야 해' 그래서 귀갓길에 사죠
And then you'll discover you already have milk. And now you got way too much milk. That's no good either. Now it's a race against the clock with the expiration date.	근데 집에 가 보니 이미 있었어요 이젠 우유가 너무 많아서 괴로워요 유효기간 전에 없애야 하니까요
That freaky thing. Now you're eating giant punchbowls of cereal, three meals a day. You're washing your face with milk. Bringing cats in from all over the neighborhood.	무시무시해요 거대한 냉면 그릇에 시리얼을 삼시 세끼 먹어요 우유로 세수하고 동네 고양이들을 다 부르죠
""Hurry up and drink it! Come on, it's almost time!" "Get back over here..." How do they know that that is the definite exact day? They don't say like it's in the vicinity, give or take, roughly...	'얼른 와서 먹어 유효기간이 거의 다 됐어!' '어딜 가, 이 녀석아' 그게 정확한 유효기간이란 걸 어떻게 알죠? 대략 그쯤이라고 쓰지 않거든요
They brand it right into the side of the carton. ""That's your goddamn day right there." Oh, don't screw with us. We know what day is the final day. "And then it is so over." You ever had milk the day after the date? Scares the hell out of you, doesn't it?	우유갑 측면에 낙인을 찍어요 '이날이 바로 그날입니다' '우릴 물로 보지 마세요' '최후의 날은 우리가 잘 압니다' '그 이후엔 끝이에요' 유효기간 다음 날 우유를 먹으려면 무서워 죽겠어요
""It's after the day! I'm taking a big chance!" I smelled it, you smelled it, what's it supposed to smell like? "It smelled like milk to me." I don't know how they're so definite, though.	'하루 지났어! 너무 위험한 것 같아' '냄새 맡아봐 냄새가 어때야 하지?' '내가 보기엔 우유 냄새야' 어쩜 그렇게 명확할까요?
Maybe the cows tip them off when they're milking them. "July 3rd." To me the only thing tougher than the supermarket is the drugstore. You're just looking at ingredients. I had a cold a couple of weeks ago. So I go in there and I'm looking, it's like... The entire wall is cold medication.	젖을 짤 때 소가 가르쳐줄까요? '7월 3일' 저는 슈퍼마켓보다 약국이 더 어려워요 성분을 읽을 뿐이죠 얼마 전에 감기에 걸려서 갔는데 한쪽 벽이 전부 감기약이었어요
You can't understand anything so you're just reading ingredients. You ever catch yourself reading ingredients in a drugstore? ""This has .03 tetrahydroziline." "That's a good amount of that." But it's so hard to figure out. Sometimes they have, like, this one's quick acting, this one's long lasting.	하나도 모르겠어요 그냥 성분을 읽었죠 약 성분 읽어본 적 있어요? '테트라하이드로질린 0.03' '딱 좋은 양이야' 이런 것도 헷갈려요 '이건 효과가 빠르고 이건 오래갑니다'
When do I need to feel good? Now or later? I don't know. That's my favorite part, where the guy says, You know this guy. No face, mouth open, this is how drug companies see the public.	언제 완쾌돼야 할까요? 지금? 조금 있다가? 모르겠어요 저는 이게 제일 좋아요 제약 회사 눈에 사람은 얼굴과 벌린 입밖에 없어요
These are the complex inner workings of the human body, I assume. That's pretty much all we know. That's it for today. Don't miss tomorrow. We're gonna practice making people wait in a little room in their underwear... and then you'll all be doctors. "That's all there is to it." They have to show you the pain, that part where they say,	이것이 복잡한 인체의 구조입니다 '이게 우리가 아는 전부예요' '오늘은 여기까지입니다 내일 결석하지 마요' '사람에게 속옷만 입혀서 기다리게 하는 법 배우니까요' '그러면 의사가 돼요' '그것만 알면 되죠' 그런 다음 아픈 곳을 보여줘요
"Here's where you hurt." Sometimes, the whole guy is out of focus. "Have you been in a funhouse mirror at any time?" Then they tell you about the pain-relieving ingredient. There's always gotta be a lot of that. Nobody wants anything less than "extra-strength."	'여기가 아픕니다' 몸 전체가 흐느적거릴 때도 있어요 '유령의 집 거울 속에 들어간 적 있나요?' 그런 다음 통증 해소 성분을 알려줍니다 '강력한 약효' 이하로는 용납하지 않아요
"Extra-strength" is the absolute minimum. ""Give me the 'maximum-strength.'" Give me the maximum allowable human dosage. "Figure out what will kill me and then back it off a little bit." Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else?	'강력한 약효'가 최저죠 '최대 약효로 주세요!' '인간에게 허용된 최대의 약효로요' '어느 정도면 죽는지 찾아내서 그것보다 조금 덜 줘요' 약사는 왜 늘 70cm 정도 높은 곳에 서 있죠?
Who the hell is this guy? ""Clear out, everybody. I'm working with pills up here." I'm taking them from this big bottle, I'm gonna put them in a little bottle. That's my whole job. "I can't be down on the floor with you people." "Yes, I'd like to get this prescription filled, please." ""All right, but you wait down there."	대체 뭔데요? '다 나가요, 여러분 전 이 위에서 약을 다룹니다' '이 큰 병에서 작은 병으로 옮기죠' '그게 다예요' '여러분과 나란히 바닥에 설 순 없어요' '네, 여기 처방전 있습니다' '줄 테니 그 밑에서 기다려요!'
"No one comes up here but me." There's a little bit of arrogance in the medical community, I think we could all live without. Like, when you go to see the doctor, you don't see the actual doctor first.	'여긴 나만 올라올 수 있어요' 의약계의 이런 교만은 없어도 될 것 같습니다 병원에 가서도 의사부터 만나진 못하잖아요
You must wait in the waiting room. There's no chance of not waiting. That's the name of the room. The doctors are all back there. You sit there, you pretend you're reading your little magazine, you're actually looking at the other people.	대기실에서 대기해야 해요 이름이 '대기실'이니 대기를 안 할 수 없죠 뒤에 있는 의사는 그럼 우린 앉아서 잡지를 읽는 척하면서 다른 사람들을 봅니다
""I wonder what he's got." "That guy is a goner." Then they call you. You get very excited when they call you 'cause you think now you're gonna see the doctor. But you're not.	'저 사람은 무슨 병일까?' '저 사람은 죽겠네' 그러다가 내 이름을 부르면 신이 나요 의사를 만나는 줄 알지만 불행히도 아니죠
Now you're going into the next, smaller waiting room. Now you don't even have your magazine. Now you got your pants around your ankles, you're sitting on that butcher paper they pull out over the table.	조금 더 작은 대기실로 옮기고 거긴 잡지도 없어요 바지를 발목까지 내리고 고기 포장하는 종이 위에 앉아야 해요
Sometimes I bring a pickle with me and I put it next to me right there on the table. I don't know... In case the doctor wants to fold the whole thing up for a to-go order.	저는 가끔 피클을 가져가서 옆에 놓아요 누가 알아요? 의사가 전부 포장해서 테이크아웃 해줄지요
"Get your pants off and get in there and I will tell you what I think." Doctors always want your pants off. "Take your pants off. The doctor would like to see you with no pants.	'바지 벗고 들어가시면 진료할게요' 의사는 늘 바지를 벗으래요 '바지 벗어요' 의사는 바지 벗기길 좋아해요
But I hate the extra wait, so I start screwing around with some of his stuff. Maybe I'll turn that thing up a little bit. Whatever the hell that does.	기다리다가 지쳐서 가끔은 장난을 쳐요 이게 뭐 하는 건진 모르지만 살짝 돌려놓아요
Take all the tongue depressors out, lick 'em all, put 'em all back in. Two can play at this waiting game. Just once I would like to say to the doctor, "You know what? I'm not ready for you yet.	혀 누르는 막대에 침 묻혀서 도로 꽂아놓아요 기다리게 하기 놀이는 저도 할 줄 알아요 저도 의사한테 기다리라고 했으면 좋겠어요
Why don't you go back in your little office, I'll be in in a minute. And get your pants off. "Then we'll see what's what." Why does a doctor need that little office for, anyway?	'사무실에서 기다리면 내가 금방 들어갈게요' '바지는 벗고요' '일단 벗고 시작하죠' 의사 사무실은 왜 있어야 하죠?
You know, his books, little stupid aquarium there. Jesus Christ! That was kinda gross. "That wasn't the tube or the circle." A friend of mine is going in for a nose job next week. Guy.	책과 작은 어항이 있어요 '하느님 맙소사' '역겨워' '저건 관일까? 동그라미일까?' 제 친구는 다음 주에 '코뿔소' 하러 갑니다
Nose job. You know what the technical term for a nose job is? Of course you do. It's New York. Everybody... Rhinoplasty! Rhino! Now this guy is aware he has a bit of a problem.	'코뿔소' 하러 가는 게 뭔지 아시죠? 뉴욕에 살면서 그걸 몰라요? 코 성형수술요! 코뿔소라뇨? 이 친구 코에 조금 문제가 있긴 해요
He's obviously sensitive about it, that's why he made the appointment. Do we need to compare him to a rhinoceros? When you go for a hair transplant, they don't say, "We're going to perform a cue-ball-ectomy on you, Mr. Johnson. We feel the chrome-dome-ia has advanced... to a level we term 'skin-head-ia.'	그게 싫어서 성형하기로 했겠죠 그런데 그 친구를 코뿔소에 비교해요? 그럼 모발 이식하려는 사람은 당구공에 비교할까요? '존슨 씨 탈모가 너무 심해서...' ''당구공' 해야 합니다'
"These are all medical terms, if you don't understand." Everybody wants to look their best, we're all out there, everybody wants to look good, guys, gals, sexuality.	'이건 여러분이 잘 모르는 의학용어예요' 사람들은 누구나 멋지게 보이려고 합니다 남자든 여자든 섹시해 보이고 싶죠
I'm a single guy, by the way, there are no other guys attached to me. Thank you very much. - Jerry, I love you. -Thank you. I love you, too. But I do feel the need to see other people.	저는 독신남입니다 딸린 남자가 없어요 감사합니다 - 사랑해요, 제리 - 고마워요 저도 사랑해요 하지만 다른 사람도 좀 만나고 싶어요
I was... I got engaged about ten or so years ago. Didn't wanna get married, that was the closest I got. I was best man at a wedding one time, that was pretty good.	저는 10년 전쯤에 약혼했었죠 결혼은 싫고 약혼까지만 하고 싶었어요 결혼식 들러리를 설 땐 참 좋았어요
Pretty good title, I thought. "Best man." I thought it was a bit much. I thought we'd have the groom and a "pretty good man." That's more than enough.	신랑 들러리를 '베스트 맨'이라고 하는데 신랑이 아닌 들러리를 '베스트 맨'이라고 하는 건 너무 과하지 않나요?
If I am the best man, why is she marrying him? I had to wear the tuxedo which, I am convinced, was invented by a woman. "They're all the same, we might as well dress them all the same." But men and women will never understand each other, we all know that. It's just not gonna happen, just forget it.	내가 최고인데 신부는 왜 신랑이랑 결혼해요? 남자들이 입는 턱시도는 여자가 고안한 게 분명해요 '남자는 다 똑같으니까 똑같이 입히자' 하지만 어차피 남자와 여자는 절대 서로를 이해하지 못할 테니 포기하세요
I know I will not understand women. I'm not spending any more time working on that. I know women don't understand men. I know there are women that are looking at me right now going, "I wonder what goes on in that little brain of his?	저는 여자를 이해하지 못합니다 더는 노력하지 않을래요 여자도 남자를 이해하지 못해요 지금도 여성들은 저를 보면서 제가 무슨 생각을 하는지 궁금하겠죠
I betcha I could manipulate that brain. I betcha you could. I betcha women would like to know what men are really thinking. The truth, the honest truth of what men are really thinking. 'Cause I could tell you. Would you like to know? Yes.	제 생각을 조정할 수 있을 줄 알아요 물론 할 수 있어요 여자들은 남자들의 진심이 궁금하겠죠 남자들이 무슨 생각을 하는지 진짜 알고 싶어요?
All right, I'll tell you. We're not thinking anything. We're just walking around, looking around. This is the only natural inclination of men.	네 그럼 말해드리죠 아무것도 생각하지 않아요 그저 걸으면서 쳐다볼 뿐이죠 이것이 남자의 유일한 타고난 성향입니다
To just kinda check stuff out. We work because they force us to, but other than that, this is really the only thing we wanna do. We like women, we want women. But that's pretty much as far as we've thought.	그냥 살피는 거죠 어쩔 수 없이 일은 하지만 우린 원래 이러고 싶어요 우린 여자를 좋아하고 원하지만 아직 그 이상은 생각하지 않았어요
That's why we're honking car horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we've had so far. Honking the car horn amazes me! This is gotta be...	여자를 보면 경적을 울리고 소리 지르는 건 아직은 거기까지밖에 생각하지 못했기 때문이죠 왜 여자를 보면 자동차 경적을 울리는지 모르겠어요

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