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What color eyes do you have?
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Had a blind friend who took mushrooms once. He got very excited when it corrected his vision. He told everyone, "This stuff is amazing! I can see! Look at the sun! It's so beautiful!"
Someone had to ruin it by saying, "Dude, it's night out."
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Batman enters your room on 2/1/21. He wanks viciously all over your bedding whilst in a Christian bale voice he says "look at that!" He then leaves in a puff of smoke. What are your thoughts?
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My thought it what is going on inside people’s heads these days
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Congratulations, You Now Have A Sixth Sense of Your Choosing, What Is It?
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Ability to detect lies
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Party people, how do you rave for days on end at a festival or club on consecutive days and why? What is the joy beyond 30 minutes of jumping around?
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Can't explain the joy ... Drum and Bass just makes my soul happy 🥰
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What's the best dipping sauce for just the pizza crust?
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Queso
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Have any of you ever watched an episode of a childhood show you watched when you were six for nostalgia, but you feel guilty about it?
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Why would you feel guilty about it?
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What conspiracy is extremely unlikely to be true but still fun to think about?
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Mattress firm is laundering money
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Without walking away, how do you personally avoid embarrassing yourself in social situations?
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just don’t talk lol
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What are the best subs to visit when its 2AM and you're dreading existence?
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r/gotosleeporyoullbetiredtomorrow
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What would you say is the most underrated song?
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Pretty much everything by Billy Joel deserves more recognition.
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Ladies, or men. You're going to be fisted by either spiderman or Bane, who do you choose and why?
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Spiderman, fuck me bro, Bane is gonna tear my ass up
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Whats the logic behind using they/them to identify yourself as non binary or whatever?
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You don't feel as if you fit with the standards of being a boy or a girl, so you choose to identify as someone without one of those labels, non-binary.
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What little known movie do you always recommend to people?
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Fried green tomatoes
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People that are scared of robots, why?
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No reason to be scared... yet.
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if you been offline for 4 weeks, and a girl sent you"bro... you been gone all this time and you dont say shit", what is the best reply?
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"Hi, wait a moment please. I need to ask strangers on the internet on what to reply to you"
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In what weird way has your height limited you?
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Vertically
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What event in the history fascinate you the most?
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The Philadelphia experiment
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What is your most wholesome holiday story?
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Waching shitposts and memes on holidays
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[Serious] What do you think they will find on Oak Island?
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Absolutely nothing of any importance.
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What was you’re favorite game when you was a child that is now gone?
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Hide & Seek. Outside. With like 20 other kids on the block.
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What's your favorite interaction you've ever had on this app?
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I am sad to not remember
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Where does one find an obituary, can't find a specific one?
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Local newspaper websites are a good place to start. You can also type in the persons name plus the word “obituary” into Google. Sometimes adding a location helps. There’s also a website called Legacy.com, I believe. Unfortunately a lot of sites are behind paywalls.
If the person has not passed terribly recently, you can try findagrave.com. Sometimes they copy/paste obituaries.
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What are some of your favorite dance moves?
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Twerking.
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Congratulations! You are a mob boss, what is the first thing you do?
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Practice my mobster walk and start sayin “AYYYYY” a lot more
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Reditors with mask fetishes, how are you enjoying this pandemic?
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It’s getting kinda hard not to cum so much
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What is it like getting into a fake Uber?
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They all look the same to me
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What is the furthest you or someone you know has gone to spite someone?
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Turned every desk away from where I typically stand. So, I started teaching off a power point I built. Talked about "As you see here, this is what happened." No specifics. Suddenly the desks were turned around and we had a nice laugh.
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Who do you envy the most, and why?
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People who know what they want to do in life.
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What is a skill you wish you had? One that looks easy to others, but blows your mind?
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The ability to sing
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What are your plans for world domination?
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I know what you're trying to do, you sneaky fucker. You're trying to get me to launch into a monologue about my evil plan in an attempt to stall me.
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You see a man taking pictures at a children’s playground, what do you do?
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First I’d try to see whether or not he’s just taking a picture of his own child. If he’s acting ridiculously suspicious though, I’d probably point it out to someone else and get their opinion before trying to get my own kid out of there
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What's the best memory from your childhood?
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Playing with my old friends on Minecraft
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What hobby did you pick up after your 30s that you wish you had sooner?
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Woodworking.
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Change is the one thing people fear as much as they desire. What is a big change you made recently, or want to make but are afraid?
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Been so comfortable with myself for 27 years,
afraid to be in a relationship, I push people away
But I'm sure, it will be a breeze if I find the right person :)
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You are locked in an empty room, with 2 complete strangers you don't know, only you are told the only way you will all be allowed out alive is to start a fight between the 2 strangers. How do you do it without them knowing?
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Throw a brick at the first guy, and tell him the second guy paid me to do it.
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What’s your favorite school story?
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The day it ended, and I left knowing I was going to College.
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What is the most generous someone has ever been to you?
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I was hit by a car and a stranger sat with me until the EMTs arrived. I never got his name. He left before the police got there. I looked for his face in crowds, but never saw him again. He kept me calm. I didn't feel alone.
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What's the best age to get a tattoo in your opinion?
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Never
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What is the most infuriating inconvenience?
|
A slow internet connection.
|
What’s The Best April Fools Joke You’ve Ever Pulled?
|
My roommate freshman year in college had his laptop stolen out of our apartment style dorm. We all were pretty sure who took it, but couldn't prove anything.
In response, he bought a 5-foot-tall safe with one of those big dials, and put it in his closet. He put some valuables, including his brand-new replacement laptop as well as an incredibly expensive saxophone he had just bought.
I had messed with him by leaving a scrap of paper on top with some numbers crossed out, but my friend and I plotted how we could get him for April Fools.
We thought of a lot of options, until it dawned on us:
Steal the safe.
When he was in class on April 1st, we skipped class and found out very quickly how heavy the damn thing is. So we ended up moving it an inch or two at a time, and getting it out of the room, down the hall, and into a different closet no one ever used or looked in.
To complete the aesthetic, we left the room door cracked, and ransacked the place. I also hid some of my valuables, to make it look like we both got robbed.
We watched TV until he got home. He said hey, and went to the room. It was silent for a bit. He walked out and said "I KNOW it was you guys, I KNOW it's April Fools!"
We pretended not to know what he was talking about, and followed him into the room. That's when I started freaking out because ***my*** laptop was missing. Once he saw me freaking out, he started freaking out even more... yelling, and pulling out his cell phone to call the police. We convinced him (twice) not to call 911, and got him to look around the apartment with us to see if "someone pranked us both."
Eventually, he opened the other closet door. He stood there for like a minute. Angry. (he heard us starting to laugh behind him)
Then he turned around and we got his full wrath: throwing things at us, etc.
That's how we stole my roommate's safe.
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How would the world change if humans suddenly had predators on Earth?
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Humans already have predators
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What's your favorite thing?
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Cookies and cream ice cream
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What is your connection to a true crime story?
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Nice try FBI. You'll never find the kids.
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What movie is funnier the second time?
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Deadpool.
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As a kid what “adult” thing did you always want to do, but when you became an adult, you realized it wasn’t that special?
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Stay awake for as long as you like. How I hate myself everytime I do that...
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What is something you wish you knew when you were 18?
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Your friends now will probably not be your friends later. You will change, and they will change, and you'll grow apart. That is okay.
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What do you care about?
|
My dogs and mom.
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In 2077 what makes someone an innocent person?
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Artificial foreskin
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Who would you turn gay/straight for and why?
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I feel like this is ignoring the fact that bi people definitely exist
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What's the worst thing you said/heard during sex?
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Heard...pretty bad fart.
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What are signs of substance abuse, with marijuana?
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Addicts will blame the lack of high for their cuntish attitude
|
Your username determines how your life will go on from now on. What will life be like for you?
|
I guess I’ll be that guy that keeps burning
|
What little thing really triggers your OCD?
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Anytime someone’s making a repetitive sound. It’s fine when I do it but is infuriating if it’s anyone else.
|
What are some date ideas for someone that has social anxiety and is more introverted?
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As an introvert myself I just want to watch jeopardy and see who gets the most right answers, eat food, have a couple glasses of wine and watch horror movies or true crime.
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What’s the worst minor annoyance that happens to our fingers?
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paper cuts suck ass
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What is the smallest thing you did that had the biggest consequences?
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I dated a girl in the 6th grade, we broke up after 2 weeks.
Now we are having a 2nd kid many years later
|
Why did they stop producing the show beavis and butthead? Feel they only scratched the surface of their potential ?
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They did 8 seasons, then Mike Judge went on to do King of the Hill, Office Space and Idiocracy among other projects.
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How do you express yourself?
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By existing
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What tv character do you wish you could punch in the face?
|
Todd Packer.
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What is the most important lesson you have learned in life so far?
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Be careful who you trust, they could stab you in the back later
|
What celebrity do you look like the most?
|
JFK. (Yes, he's dead. That's the point)
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[Serious] What do you think about Social Media and how it affects people?
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I don't think social media is bad. I think the like/dislike (react) thing shouldn't have been invented. I think that's where the bad side effects of social media started
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When is a time you had an ill-timed boner?
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Back in middle school ~~this one time~~ all times.
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How hard is it for a confident average looking guy to find a girl to hook up with every time he goes to a bar/club/party?
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This reeks insecure
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What role would you like to play in a film if you were an actor or actress?
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I'd be a stunt man.
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how did you became a legend in your school?
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There's this special S
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What can you do when fear of something going wrong stops you making any changes in your life?
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Fear of creepy cratures in the realy deap ocean
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If salary were based strictly on individual passion for the job, what career would you pursue?
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I wouldn't br able to get paid my interests shift faster then the bones of a kid caught in a landslide
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What is the most bizarre thing that’s ever happened to you ?
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I was at the bus stop, when an old man walking by stops, looks at me and says: "You like the naughty stuff, don't ya?", and leaves.
I'm a guy.
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What’s your own buzzer-beater story?
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My teammate got the rebound and decided to hold onto the ball and not go up for a shot. I was next to him and ripped the ball out from his arms and literally just beat the buzzer.
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What can you teach in under a minute?
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How to count to 59
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Why has customer service declined in recent years?
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They are just a reflection of the mood of society
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What's an unexpected result you got from taking an Ancestry test and how, if at all, did it effect your family?
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Now insurance companies know whether you have genetic diseases that you didn’t know about. They could deny your coverage saying there was a pre-existing condition.
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Just got shot at, what do now?
|
Yo, you best protect ya neck!
|
What do you think the meaning in life is?
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"The number 42", in reference to The Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
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What is the most popular hobbie in the world?
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Watching videos
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[SERIOUS] People who have been bullied/abused, how did you let go of your anger?
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I hurt myself and it was a terrible idea every time, it was only a temporary solution with permanent scars. If you're thinking about it, don't do it!
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What do you think about democracy nowadays?
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Nice but too easily manipulated
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If drinking a cold glass of milk is weird, than what is the purpose of milk?
|
It’s weird to drink cold milk?....
|
you can detach your head you ceep full control of your body what do you do ?
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Give my self a blow job
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If you could change your voice into another person's for an hour, who would it be and what would you do?
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Batman so I can call my cousin who is obsessed with Batman and make his day
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Who’s taking the new COVID vaccine?
|
If i'm offered one i'll take it, i've got other people's safety to think about besides myself. And if Bill Gates really does want me dead, then fuck it, i don't care.
|
What are some important things to do when moving?
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Pack all the essentials that you need for the first few days in one box and make sure it's easily accessible!!
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What is your worst experience of “the one time I didn’t bring it”?
|
We went to a beach with water jet skiis and I didn't have anything else to wear besides a full length maxi skirt (couldn't strip to undies due to personal reasons- had to keep it on) . They didn't provide any wetsuits either. I really wanted to do it and my family pushed me to do it. It was supposed to be a surprised. Well. I was indeed surprised. As were all the onlookers.
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Supposing that God isn’t real, why do demons/negative spirits react negatively to prayer and holy water ?
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They don’t. None of it is real.
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since how long ago, would you class as 'recently'?
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It's dependent on the topic. Everything Is relative
|
What's the worst place to masturbate?
|
Let me tell you, the folks at Target do NOT appreciate it
|
What are your opinions on Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, Elizabeth Holmes and the tech world/Silicon Valley as a whole ?
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Holmes is a con artist. Musk is a weird one. Jobs is dead.
Tech world is just a new industry. Modern gold rush. It used to be way overpriced and had a bubble.
Now they’ve developed it into the most powerful vehicle for marketing, logistics and evergreen services.
Thus the wealth is real now and it is going to keep growing.
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How do you increase assets without a lot of money?
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Stealing.
You didn't provide any constraints.
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What are people constantly touching that they should not be?
|
Their face
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Hospital ER workers, what is the best way to deal with drug seekers?
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I am a longtime cancer patient who has been hospitalized semi regularly. in the Past 5 or so years there has almost always been at least one drug seeker yelling and begging for painkillers for hours in the ER or even once across the ward from me after a surgery (She kept it up all night). Generally they are ignored and left to shout. Im curious to know if anyone has figured out an effective way to deal with them. Its heartbreaking to hear their suffering and intensely upsetting to other patients like me. We dont hear them every day all day so we cant tune them out. Thanks for your thoughts on this!
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Whats your favorite vidéo game and why?
|
Fallout 3. It was the first fallout game I wasted hours of my life upon
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What’s something about you that sounds really impressive, but isn’t?
|
I graduated law school.
|
Men have you ever tried prostate orgasm? What are your experiences with this?
|
I paired that with edging for about 3 hours and lemme tell ya, talk about a wild ride. Post nut clarity hit hard, didn’t have the urge to wack off for a few days after that one
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Whose the last person you tried to avoid?
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Woman in the shop who wasnt wearing a mask
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They say humor is the best aphrodisiac. What is the funniest line you've ever heard/said during sex or intimacy?
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Cum In me little pogchamp (serious)
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If prices were based solely on cost and nothing else, what would be A LOT cheaper?
|
Cinema popcorn.
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James Earl Jones is the coolest cat in the movies. Who can possibly match his swagger, delivery, and that voice?
|
Morgan Freeman.
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How can anyone make a valid argument that pleasuring yourself is something bad?
|
Stupid religion.
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What was the weirdest thing a babysitter made or made you do?
|
Never had a babysitter. I’m from a poor family
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