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What looks like racist but isn't?
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George floyd didn’t deserve to die and he didn’t deserve to be worshipped either
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What should you talk to your barber about?
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His hot daughter.
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If COVID-19 didn't exist and everything was free for a week. What would you like to do?
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cocaine and hookers.
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What do you do when you have 0.00 in your account?
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Finally freedom. Return to my hunter-gatherer lifestyle.
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If you could erase a trait from all 7.8 billion people, what would it be?
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the being alive part.
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What was your 200 IQ move?
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..Surely the move which I din't make, pal.
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How does the the human brain ignore the second " The " ?
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Brain likes to cut corners in order to focus more on patterns.
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What is that one scene in a movie that makes no fucking sense?
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I don't have anything specific but Mel Gibson does this alot
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If you could live in the universe of a book, movie, TV show etc., which would you pick?
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Harry Potter or Throne of Glass.
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Owners of meme pages, how do you handle the fame?
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I don't have fame, but i had a meme profile with 1500 followers, and it wasn't bad, but i can't imagine more followers, it has to be stress all day
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What's a misconception you hope goes away this year?
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That pee is not stored in the balls.
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Why ia it so hard to make friends here?
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It's your grammar
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Sales people, what's your last trick to make someone buy?
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Fake limited promotion.
“If you think you’ll ever need this I think it would be worth to buy now and eventually use it as we’re running a promotion of -blah- -blah-“
Shipping constraints
“With so many vaccines being shipped out, our logistics department is estimating a bit of delay in the mailing system, let’s go ahead and get this for you now so to play it safe”
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For people who find comfort in numbers (being in close proximity to other humans) versus people who don’t... what’s your logic?
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That you think logic is behind this is evidence that you aren't actually human.
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Who are some of your favourite musical artists that more people should know about?
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Khruangbin
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What is the point of flavoured condoms?
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Oral.
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What is the funniest example of karma you've ever seen?
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Someone raped a women. Got raped by a man 3 years laterXD
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If you had to choose one moment in a videogame that everyone should experience, what would it be?
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The beginning of the witcher 3 thank me later
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What is the best anime opening?
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Evangelion's A Cruel Angel's Thesis is still a banger 25 years later.
Cowboy Bebop's TANK! is also a close second for me.
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what was your year-end menu?
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Shrimp in garlic sauce, extra spicy and steamed dumplings. And whiskey. Lots and lots of whiskey.
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[Serious] People who are on the other side of suicide hotlines, what was the most disturbing thing someone has told you over the phone?
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Honestly it’s probably in pretty poor taste to ask someone that. Same way as it would be to ask a combat vet, EMT or Fireman (any first responders really). You’re asking them to recall some of the most horrifying moments they’ve ever been exposed to.
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How do you maintain a friendship with a difficult person?
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Why would you want to?
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Your life is a dream and you wake up, but the whole entire dream was broadcast on national television. What’s your reaction?
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hope they enjoyed whatever wacky shit came out of my brain
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How does one master the art of "not giving a fuck"?
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Honestly, it's not about "not giving a fuck" it's about cultivating a sense of what is important. If you are constantly worried about meaningless stuff, then you aren't going to be able to get anything done. So it will feel like you are drowning in cow shit.
If you just decide to focus on what matters and let the rest slide away, then you are curating your fucks.
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What do you think lies beyond the heat death of the universe?
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Another Universe just like a Matryoshka doll.
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What are some Tv shows you never thought you would watch but ran out of stuff to watch during the pandemic?
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She-ra and Cobra Kai are both surprisingly good
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How has your life changed from a year ago?
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My desk moved 9cm
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Couples who sleep while cuddling. How do you do it?
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Spooning. Either way. Its comfy. I find it hard to sleep not cuddling.
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What's your favorite 90s Cartoon?
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Batman: The animated series
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Have you ever owned a printer that actually worked? What black market did you purchase it from and what body part did you sell for it?
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I spent a bit more on a Brother printer. Best decision I ever made. Not had a single issue with it
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What was the most Dad thing that your dad ever did?
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Just today infact, he went around spreading the joy and happiness of the classic jokes of the form:
*Last time I \_\_\_\_\_ was last year!*
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You can stop time, but it feeds off of how stressed you are(I.e you become less stressed the longer you’re in stopped time). If you become totally relaxed you cannot remain in stopped time. How would you use this power?
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That is my secret, I am never relaxed.
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Children of single fathers, what could your Dad have done better?
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Worn a condom.
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You Just Went Back In Time To High School. What Is The #1 Change You Would Make?
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Less contrarianism. But apart from that, I am too happy with that to change anything.
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You die and have to fight all the people you hated in your life in order to get to heaven, but they’re in child form so how many 6th graders do you think you can take?
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*Activates Lightsaber*
Bring on the younglings!
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If you ever get the chance to time travel and bring only one thing from the current timeline, what is that one thing and would you go back to the past or go ahead to the future?
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Antibiotics
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What is something that people normally do, that is actually very attractive?
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Having a gravitational field.
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What do you listen for in a good song?
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Music
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What is the worst thing to name a chicken?
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Dinner
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You find out that there are aliens in your attic. What will you do?
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Try to figure out how the hell I acquired an attic.
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what will you do if you have the power to create a 99% perfect duplicate of any living organism?
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Absolutely nothing, 99% is probably not good enough for this organism to survive
|
What’s the worst phrase to say when trying to sound sincere?
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"Honestly, __________." is pretty bad, because it immediately makes me wonder what to think about all the stuff that you said before, without the honesty part.
|
thinking ahead: what kinds of things will you be able to do with a 4D printer?
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Bend the fucking rules of time and space idk
|
Whats your favorite Flash internet game ??
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The Impossible Quiz!
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What’s impossible to say without sounding sarcastic?
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‘I love france’
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Isn’t it weird that when we’re in front of a screen we think it’s our whole view when it isn’t?
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Please stop fucking with my eyes when I'm trying to scroll.
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Why can gorillas and other apes grow such large and strong muscles on plant based diets?
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Genetics allows them to, nothing to do with diet.
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People who live with snow, what are some snow related inacuransies you have found in writing?
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I'm not aware that I've ever seen any snow related inaccuracies in writing. Are there some snow related tidbits of information you've seen that you suspect are inaccurate?
edit:spelling
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What is the worst name for a chicken?
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C*ck
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What are the 3 best things which you believe will happen in the upcoming months?
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January: people start returning to work from vaccine
February: cold war resumes with the end of the nuclear treaty
March: lockdown ends, post lockdown orgy starts
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How do y'all stay motivated in college?
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It was kind of a blur and I don't think I had time be like pondering questions of motivation tbh. Oddly enough it's taken up a billion levels in like actual work and career stuff. So, I dunno there OP. Get your shit together is all I can really say and I don't mean to be hostile but, yeah.
|
What movie speaks to your heart more than any other movie?
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Me Before You. It might just be another sad movie to many.
But for me, it is one, the movie I go to if I need a good cry. And two, the movie taught me that sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, you may need to let them go. And that it is okay.
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Let's say you were drunk yesterday and now have a bet with your brother about who can hold on to their shit for the longest time. How would you do it?
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I would shit as I please and just lie to my brother
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Do you think money buys happiness? Why or why not?
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Yes, being broke is miserable.
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Whats the weirdest coincidence you've had?
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When me and an old classmate and friend of mine learned that we had the same crush in our class.
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"Lithobraking maneuver" just meant "came to a stop by hitting the ground". This gem from a NASA report is similar to what phrase from your field or interests?
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"Rubber-hose cryptanalysis" means "beating someone until he gives up his keys".
|
What have you always wanted to ask a middle aged guy from Canada?
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Is maple syrup actually considered a beverage in Canada, or is that just American propaganda?
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What have you learned today?
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That I am very stupid because I mixed up actor and jesus.
|
What is the worst name you've ever seen on a person?
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Mitch McConnell
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If you were offered money to do a high jump. If you clear it you get $1000 per inch, you get one choice of height, no practice beforehand and 3 attempts. What height do you choose?
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3 feet, or 36 inches. There is a ledge at work that is roughly 3 feet high. I often choose to jump up to it instead of taking the stairs because it's faster that way, so I am confident I could clear 3 feet. I could probably clear more, but why gamble all or nothing when I can get a nearly guaranteed 36,000$?
|
What’s a time when science fiction became science fact?
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1984
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What are some helpful websites you have found?
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I dunno if you heard of it, it's called wikipedia
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What are your best money saving/budgeting hacks or advice?
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Read Dave ramsey
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What’s a saying that you always misheard/said wrong?
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I used to think “dog eat dog world” was “doggy dog world” lmao
|
What is the one conspiracy theory you truly believe in?
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That the mega rich aren't worried about societies collapsing or climate change because they already have safe bunkers somewhere for the next 100 years. After 100 years, it won't be their problem anymore.
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What is the thing that a human wants the most in the end?
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Happiness, love, fulfilment
Oh fuck you said one... Sweet ass sunglasses
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You have become the leading voice of guided meditations, millions rely on your relaxing words. You realise you can plant subliminal messages into people’s minds and they act out on it, what do you make them do?
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I tell everyone to just be nice to each other.
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If you were falling from a helicopter what would be your last words?
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Kobe!
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Suppose tomorrows the last day of everyones life and you’ve been asked to fill up your TODIST.What would it include?
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What is todist
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How do you apologize to a friend for disappearing from text, conversation/etc. because of an emotional shutdown related to stress, anxiety or depression?
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Say: "Sorry mate, I know I've been distant recently. Had things on my mind."
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What makes fast talkers more attractive and charming?
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This mf b getting off at auctions
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What’s something you have always wanted to ask a non binary person?
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11010101
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What do women want to be aked by men that men don't ask enough?
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Can I help?
|
What have Karens taught you last year?
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Society is rather safe, if someone has the confidence to go up to someone else and be a despicable person.
Imagine being a Karen in the Middle Ages and just getting fucking jousted tho
|
Why do you think people were upset that Street Fighter V didn't have an arcade mode initially, despite the fact that playing online gives you basically the same result?
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I couldn't play online.
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What Makes You Happy to Wake Up in the Morning?
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Nothing
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What are the funniest rhyming words you ever heard ?
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Awesome possum
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what is short to you?
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Anything 5 feet and under
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Whats the best emotional song you have heard sung by a male vocalist?
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Re; stacks - bob iver
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If animals could talk, which would be the rudest?
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The easy answer is geese or cats, but honestly it would probably be something dumb like chickens or pigeons.
|
The last thing you took a photograph of suddenly explodes into a burst of confetti and candy. Are you happy? Why or why not?
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I'd be ok, but my roommate would be devastated.
Last pic I took was of his dog impatiently waiting for him by the door.
|
If your highschool life is a movie who is the villain and what happens in the final scene?
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I think I am actually. (With my crush being the protagonist). (Or alternatively a villain protagonist (me as the villain protag, of course)).
Graduation.
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What’s something most people care about that you DON’T?
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Football.
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What irks you the most but is considered normal by others?
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Saying “Goodmorning” to everyone in the morning
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When Will We Discover Alien Life? What do you think?
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All alien civs already know each other but they are all collectively avoiding humans because we are the Florida men of the universe
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What feels Illegal but isn't?
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Having sex with miners.
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Why were you born?
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My parents had sex
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What are your plans now that everyone's problems are suddenly solved?
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Masturbate
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What is the most digusting thing a step sibling has done?
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Well, there's a lot of videos about step siblings doing something very inappropriate and very wrong.
|
What are some great 2 person boardgames and/or modern card games you like?
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Battle Line is always fun to break out for a quick duel of wits
|
Has anyone ever died in their dream ? what was it like ?
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I got murdered in a dream. A huge feeling like I was getting hit by a tidal wave, an unavoidable sense of finality, and a rising indescribable feeling which I have never been able to put words to the since the dream.
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What is the correlation between school and intelligence?
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I think it depends on the type of education, also their are some famously smart people who had poor to little education
|
What is the fastest you have ever seen a new co-worker get fired?
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I hired someone at 12:30pm on a Tuesday, then I fired him exactly 47 minutes later. I remember that time specifically because that was my argument to HR for why they should just rip up his paperwork instead of going through the formal dismissal process.
He interviewed well, had all the qualifications I needed, and claimed to have the availability I needed. But while he was supposed to be filling out his new hire paperwork I caught him looking at porn on the company computer. Not even trying to hide it. Then when I confronted him about it he got verbally aggressive and started threatening me. I had to call security to escort him out of the building.
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in 30 years, what will people be nostalgic for?
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cheesecake
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What’s something men think woman care about but they actually don’t?
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Your earning power.
I make more than my husband and I really don't care. He has a good job and he puts in effort, but his field of expertise simply doesn't earn as much as mine.
In the end, it's still *our* money. One pool of income we share.
I think women care more about a man's involvement in the household than his earning power. Unless, of course, the couple has decided to be one-income. Obviously that would impact things, but even then, I know a few stay-at-home moms who are perfectly content to settle for less if it means fulfilling their housewife/mom dream.
There are always going to be shallow people who are looking to land a rich person, but that's true of both genders.
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Who's the most toxic person you know?
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at the moment my ex BFF
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Whats the Shrek of TV?
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Somebody one told me...
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What makes you fucking cry?
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Losing the ability to live independently
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What's the covid situation like right now where you're from and how is it progressing?
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Depends on how you look at it. Cases are through the roof and deaths are climbing, but at the same time we’ve got two approved vaccines and have already started a nationwide rollout.
(I’m in Britain, BTW).
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What show's setting made you wish you could pack up and move there?
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San Fransokyo from Big Hero 6. Too bad it doesn't exist.
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