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6,200 | 6,201 | I tried to set our Computers Password to "MyDick" But was disappointed when it said "Error: Not Long Enough" | [-5.17321490e-02 -1.96178593e-02 -1.85060203e-02 -9.51972976e-02
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6,201 | 6,202 | my last girlfriend broke up wth me after she went through my phone and i refused to tell her why i searched for goth grandpas | [-6.05657659e-02 3.11356653e-02 1.06616519e-01 -3.42333280e-02
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6,202 | 6,203 | What's a pirate's favorite letter? The P. If the P was taken away, he would be irate | [-3.56145613e-02 9.71219018e-02 2.96118949e-02 -1.87004078e-02
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6,203 | 6,204 | The Galactic Empire, after the destruction of the Death Star, has taken to bowling during the interim. The Empire Strikes Back, they call it. | [ 2.22358340e-03 -4.04753499e-02 -5.22833038e-03 -2.53776796e-02
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6,204 | 6,205 | How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eye | [-5.71044907e-03 2.19258498e-02 -2.47857198e-02 4.05333042e-02
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6,207 | 6,208 | Why isnt Hitler invited to any BBQs? Cuhs he burns all the franks! Friend told me this, so im sorry if this has already been posted. | [ 7.63539523e-02 4.25141826e-02 -1.86816268e-02 9.72984210e-02
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6,208 | 6,209 | There are no absolutes in this world. Except vodka. | [-3.90078127e-02 -3.09482422e-02 -6.46259040e-02 4.68420275e-02
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6,209 | 6,210 | Hey geese crossing the road, u can fly. | [-1.45954676e-02 -5.75347953e-02 -1.97832147e-03 5.36621176e-02
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6,210 | 6,211 | So I saw that Princess Diana is trending on tumblr. She's all over the dashboard! | [-1.38469378e-03 -7.34728947e-02 4.28298898e-02 -1.75804049e-02
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6,211 | 6,212 | Thought of this joke a few years ago and thought id share it with you beautiful people Why cant bulimics be pitchers in baseball? Because they always throw up | [ 5.30134998e-02 3.95996161e-02 1.59335751e-02 -2.61283554e-02
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6,212 | 6,213 | What's the difference between pussy and mashed potatoes Mashed potatoes don't make their own gravy | [ 2.89290585e-02 -1.12448841e-01 -9.74037945e-02 -1.53880045e-02
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6,213 | 6,214 | It was when I stabbed a Capri Sun perfectly the first time, right in that grey circle, that I knew I wanted to be an assassin. | [ 1.05056362e-02 6.75575361e-02 -2.47060740e-03 7.99217150e-02
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6,214 | 6,215 | Piers Morgan has taken a very strong stance against guns, and who can blame him? If you had a gun, you'd shoot him too. | [ 4.29081358e-02 1.85120013e-02 4.57397476e-02 1.24012334e-02
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6,215 | 6,216 | If an object falls at 500ft/s how far must Mohammed run to escape the blast? | [ 4.32483777e-02 1.33142561e-01 -5.90036400e-02 2.76535400e-03
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6,216 | 6,217 | What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock? Barns and no-bulls. (This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.) | [ 4.52101640e-02 1.76326744e-02 -2.48105656e-02 5.71280345e-02
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6,217 | 6,218 | My son will never know the thrill of illegally downloading Thong Song on napster and waiting 1h39m for it to download | [-5.11812046e-03 6.15499876e-02 -3.93900760e-02 -1.31897494e-01
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6,218 | 6,219 | How many potatos do you need to kill an Irishman? None. | [ 8.23860019e-02 -1.83823064e-03 -1.35973603e-01 -7.26320967e-02
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6,219 | 6,220 | Its stupid of Apple to include Health apps with their products... ...Everybody knows that people with one Kidney are not supposed to run. | [ 5.71698649e-03 -1.99441779e-02 8.86670873e-02 -5.92644513e-02
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6,220 | 6,221 | We never knew he was always drunk... ...until he showed up to work sober. | [ 3.24855670e-02 2.14657206e-02 -8.71014502e-03 9.41687599e-02
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6,221 | 6,222 | Did you hear about the Woodstock Killer? He was charged for murder within tents. | [ 3.61423567e-02 1.06503919e-01 -2.52445582e-02 9.27387085e-03
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6,222 | 6,223 | When my kids are bad I take them out to the woodshed and tell them a bunch of boring stories about the people at my work | [-3.32926097e-03 5.51535822e-02 4.45990823e-02 8.43448490e-02
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6,223 | 6,224 | so I painted my computer black the other day... I thought it would run faster. Turns out it stopped working. | [ 1.18250819e-02 1.63641032e-02 5.59087656e-03 8.19546287e-04
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6,224 | 6,225 | It's hunting season and fox like you shouldnt be out in the open! | [ 5.52493334e-02 -4.70385998e-02 3.01514305e-02 5.15639372e-02
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6,225 | 6,226 | What is the difference between a 5 and a 2? 3. | [-2.81128269e-02 -7.51142725e-02 6.77451119e-02 -1.13956667e-02
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6,226 | 6,227 | [Commercial] *Camera focuses on a man choking on a whole apple* Narrator: "If only there was a better way?" [On Screen Caption] TEETH | [-2.92917415e-02 5.29538020e-02 8.87017325e-03 -6.69771582e-02
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6,227 | 6,228 | Mommy mommy what happened to all your scabs ...[NSFL] Shut up and eat your corn flakes! | [ 2.81857457e-02 -7.88322762e-02 1.42703466e-02 3.19581106e-02
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6,228 | 6,229 | A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers, please." | [-6.52921721e-02 1.62210241e-02 2.57653370e-02 9.44637414e-03
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6,229 | 6,230 | My girlfriend is in Mexico for vacation and if she has a Juan night stand while she's down there, her and I are totally done. | [ 9.91455466e-03 9.39007774e-02 3.98057662e-02 4.09420803e-02
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6,230 | 6,231 | During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. | [ 9.72456578e-03 -8.93512089e-03 6.45043282e-03 -2.90057119e-02
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6,231 | 6,232 | I was suffering from constipation the other day but I really didn't care In fact, I didn't even give a shit. | [ 5.37866578e-02 -7.82165304e-02 7.45237991e-02 5.25529496e-02
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6,232 | 6,233 | What do you give the guy who has everything? Penicillin | [-2.89770495e-02 1.13757424e-01 2.44481885e-03 -4.28750925e-02
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6,233 | 6,234 | Bring an urn speed dating. Whenever a prospective match asks a question, whisper to urn, "I don't know, Mom: should I tell him?" | [ 1.42510189e-02 3.07024326e-02 2.65397057e-02 -2.76412014e-02
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6,234 | 6,235 | Sorry if you already know this one A Hipster, a vegan and a feminist walk into a bar... How do I know? They have already told everybody about 6 times in 5 minutes | [ 7.29569867e-02 -8.44353586e-02 9.90950223e-03 3.41296680e-02
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6,235 | 6,236 | Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity? | [ 6.52829483e-02 -3.41862254e-02 6.58510700e-02 5.98090421e-03
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6,236 | 6,237 | You people remind me of lemons.... You're sour, some people like you, and your juices can be squeezed out for money. | [-4.83515523e-02 -1.46930534e-02 1.76053252e-02 6.43020645e-02
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6,237 | 6,238 | A guy walks into a bar "Ow," he says. | [-3.73840630e-02 3.29729840e-02 -8.91742855e-03 3.76757383e-02
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6,238 | 6,239 | I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn't do anything except send me notices that there's a new version of itself. | [-8.25364608e-03 -7.03518540e-02 7.61062056e-02 -9.25239995e-02
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6,239 | 6,240 | Me: *crawls in window* Him: What are you doing?! Me: You're my boyfriend now? Him: I'm calling the cops Me: But you retweeted me?? | [ 1.01307509e-02 4.81019355e-02 3.99251804e-02 1.99880358e-02
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6,240 | 6,241 | What's the difference between Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump? Reagan helped tear down a wall. | [ 4.18804400e-02 9.48706567e-02 1.02252243e-02 -1.45262890e-02
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6,241 | 6,242 | I like my slave like I like my frees Coffee. | [-1.05024777e-01 2.55422443e-02 4.35550921e-02 3.41159441e-02
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6,242 | 6,243 | TEIAM - problem solved fuckers | [-4.44308594e-02 1.48791417e-01 -5.83466887e-02 -1.01326723e-02
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6,243 | 6,244 | And the Oscar goes to.................................... Court for killing his girlfriend. | [-9.55147203e-03 8.45362321e-02 -7.11403117e-02 -3.70686501e-02
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6,244 | 6,245 | Judge: Guilty Me: Sayyoudidwhat. Judge: What did you say? Me: Judge? Did you just reverse my sentence? *Stage dives into cheering jury* | [ 3.87316123e-02 1.13699034e-01 3.19912918e-02 -5.40810749e-02
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6,245 | 6,246 | Murderer: IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU Me: wow your hands are so soft Murderer: omg really Me: [caresses his hands] what moisturizer do you use | [-3.77956480e-02 3.12931463e-02 -2.35790573e-03 2.67487857e-02
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6,246 | 6,247 | Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a keyboard? They're all paws. | [ 4.58139889e-02 -7.50035718e-02 9.29164067e-02 1.60907805e-02
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6,247 | 6,248 | Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face. | [ 6.19513132e-02 5.25366366e-02 5.12455292e-02 6.08663298e-02
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6,248 | 6,249 | I was pleased with the first day of The World Cup, and even more pleased that it didn't turn into "2 Girls, 1 World Cup" as I had feared. | [ 3.30988728e-02 3.60699371e-02 3.13991234e-02 2.71490421e-02
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6,249 | 6,250 | What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious | [-1.25313280e-02 -8.36546905e-03 -4.65201065e-02 4.42344956e-02
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6,250 | 6,251 | A Priest a Rabbi and a Nun walk into a bar The bartender looks up and says, "What is this some kind of joke?" | [-3.73557582e-02 1.95359271e-02 -7.46392831e-02 5.10541536e-02
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6,251 | 6,252 | What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you pick up anything with that? | [-7.15257227e-02 1.47783473e-01 4.31761928e-02 8.87539685e-02
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6,252 | 6,253 | Which is more stable, a hamburger or a steak? Hamburger, it's in the ground state. | [ 9.05254297e-03 -4.33694422e-02 -3.83959077e-02 2.62261014e-02
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6,253 | 6,254 | I was really ticked at my woman tonight, so I stapled her fun bags together. If ya can't lick 'em, join 'em. | [ 9.23702214e-03 -6.77902251e-02 1.32981106e-03 -5.45007214e-02
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6,254 | 6,255 | on fire The chief of the fire department walks into the room where the other firemen wait and says: "Take it easy boys, the Tax Office is on fire." | [-1.02478385e-01 5.38502410e-02 -1.80140254e-03 2.97087375e-02
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6,255 | 6,256 | I got a haircut recently. I thought it was too short at first, but it's started to grow on me. | [-1.41675882e-02 4.99590077e-02 6.18644729e-02 -9.35463142e-03
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6,256 | 6,257 | There's nothing worse than when you tell someone it's a long story and they reply with "I have time." | [-9.05994326e-03 3.14923339e-02 8.06416571e-02 7.73115754e-02
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6,257 | 6,258 | My son wants a bb gun for Christmas I told him I'l give it my best shot | [-2.67828833e-02 1.21507861e-01 -6.30773008e-02 -5.22131734e-02
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6,258 | 6,259 | I don't understand hair It's just over my head. | [ 1.36506697e-02 1.09812841e-02 5.49853966e-02 -1.43120000e-02
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6,259 | 6,260 | I'm so old... ...my organs are harpsichords. | [ 5.85358143e-02 -5.62676191e-02 4.26149890e-02 -2.74714734e-02
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6,262 | 6,263 | What's the difference between a stripper and a hooker? Usually about $40 | [-2.34526210e-02 -1.29016545e-02 -8.48490521e-02 3.69283520e-02
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6,263 | 6,264 | I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon. -Emo Philips | [ 5.71046397e-03 2.48731673e-02 5.31905331e-02 -7.07900003e-02
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6,264 | 6,265 | What's the difference between a Therapist and The Rapist? Just a little space | [-5.06003313e-02 1.70910735e-05 -1.11625850e-01 5.16827814e-02
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6,265 | 6,266 | Just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am. | [ 6.57448918e-02 -5.82628064e-02 -1.41797373e-02 1.10427933e-02
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6,266 | 6,267 | I told a joke to my Jewish friends about kosher food, but they didn't like it at all... they said it was too ham-fisted. | [ 3.40891033e-02 6.12205192e-02 -1.36218453e-02 5.53415250e-03
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6,267 | 6,268 | Me: Alexa, did you hear what Siri just said about you?! Alexa: Hold my beer!!! | [-1.74717791e-03 -8.84410366e-03 4.54896428e-02 -3.29541825e-02
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6,268 | 6,269 | LGBT Girl Scout Leader Arrested She was thrown in jail for eating Brownies. | [-2.35742163e-02 1.12553658e-02 1.05974237e-02 6.52780458e-02
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6,269 | 6,270 | The best things in life are free. Who let them out?! I PAID GOOD MONEY TO IMPRISON THEM | [-6.45510778e-02 1.03753954e-01 1.47038167e-02 8.24131351e-03
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6,270 | 6,271 | My ex and I broke up because she said she couldn't be with someone who wanted her to change. I just wanted her to stop sleeping with my friends. | [-2.61623319e-02 3.81270126e-02 3.52035947e-02 1.25411460e-02
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6,271 | 6,272 | At my funeral, I want a homie to adjust my junk one last time. I'm not gonna rest peacefully if my balls are pinched between my legs. | [ 3.85104008e-02 7.24914446e-02 2.38106009e-02 -2.13613547e-02
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6,272 | 6,273 | What kind of book did Frankenstein's monster like to read? One with a cemetery plot. | [-2.93298718e-02 3.49609591e-02 -1.29096368e-02 6.60165772e-02
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6,273 | 6,274 | My mother always told me never to listen to Rumours. Consequently my copy of Tusk is completely worn out. | [-2.83572022e-02 1.88246742e-02 6.62170872e-02 1.19221304e-02
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6,274 | 6,275 | "A smile is like tight underwear...it makes your cheeks go up. | [-8.59707966e-02 5.74405156e-02 8.80390592e-03 4.76565883e-02
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6,275 | 6,276 | I went to the zoo today but when I arrived, there was only a dog there It was a shitzu | [ 5.25261983e-02 -1.30867516e-03 8.47164169e-02 5.03218137e-02
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6,276 | 6,277 | My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks. So I have to sit when I pee now. | [-3.17402333e-02 -4.10197936e-02 2.06440464e-02 7.37479031e-02
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6,277 | 6,278 | My grandpa would always tell me "You're my favorite granddaughter" I was his only granddaughter. | [-5.09502329e-02 8.11744407e-02 4.10109386e-02 -4.76481840e-02
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6,278 | 6,279 | A line for cops who pull over attractive drunk models If I could put you in the alphabet, I would go D U I and that's why I'm a writer, I look forward to your hatred of bad jokes | [-9.51912031e-02 -3.32900509e-02 3.74434106e-02 6.76225498e-03
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6,279 | 6,280 | What country uses the most foul language? Turkey | [ 1.18804000e-01 9.34423762e-04 -1.77514106e-02 -2.97891516e-02
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6,280 | 6,281 | My doctor told me that I have to stop masturbating! Because otherwise he can't do his medical examination. | [ 5.64085618e-02 3.50477956e-02 1.31360134e-02 2.50404924e-02
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6,281 | 6,282 | My girlfriend and i are quite similar They're both imaginary | [-5.09597920e-02 -7.37001151e-02 5.07199112e-03 -4.99366932e-02
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6,282 | 6,283 | I don't ever have to worry about getting sex... Because I'm married, so I already know I won't. Takes all the guesswork right out of it. | [ 1.08818109e-04 -8.91524460e-03 5.40541345e-03 5.31820692e-02
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6,283 | 6,284 | What do naked fish play with ? Bare-a-cudas ! | [-3.75080407e-02 3.46810669e-02 -4.21483777e-02 -2.03159619e-02
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6,284 | 6,285 | A penis lives a hard life His neighbor's nuts, he lives accross from an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, everyone calls him a dick, and his owner beats him. | [-2.03851168e-03 -3.18161882e-02 -1.25369253e-02 1.61874052e-02
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6,285 | 6,286 | Right before our Grandpa died we covered his back in butter. He went downhill pretty quickly after that. | [ 8.63149110e-03 3.14387195e-02 2.39186659e-02 5.11957332e-02
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6,286 | 6,287 | What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags it's tail, while the other tags a whale | [-4.01517376e-02 1.37911374e-02 4.78516407e-02 4.58279289e-02
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6,287 | 6,288 | If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? | [ 2.95205251e-03 -8.62462074e-02 -9.42192078e-02 5.40812388e-02
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6,288 | 6,289 | I just left my job... Me: I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me. Friend: What did he say? Me: "You're fired". | [-7.24227503e-02 1.15971319e-01 5.51151391e-03 3.48753743e-02
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6,289 | 6,290 | A magician was driving down the road when suddenly... He turned into a driveway! | [ 7.10305152e-03 4.91200536e-02 -2.53780559e-02 1.76038332e-02
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6,290 | 6,291 | I've never smoked weed before but the frequency with which I pass out, hand in a bag of snack chips, leads me to believe I'd be good at it. | [ 5.89361340e-02 -3.50396335e-02 -4.23775688e-02 3.00893579e-02
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6,291 | 6,292 | What are a redneck's last two words before dying ? WATCH THIS ! | [ 1.57000609e-02 -4.09464985e-02 -3.25591825e-02 6.49301186e-02
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6,292 | 6,293 | Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he was feeling a little funny. He had testicular cancer. | [ 4.60375007e-03 6.72367662e-02 -1.99286882e-02 1.45544372e-02
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6,293 | 6,294 | Yo mama so fat.. I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing. | [-8.18494055e-03 2.14588381e-02 -1.20200710e-02 5.41945435e-02
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6,294 | 6,295 | The phrase "watching paint dry" should be replaced with "listening to people talk about brewing their own beer." | [ 1.34229735e-02 -2.50402950e-02 1.20743914e-02 -2.70981081e-02
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6,295 | 6,296 | Let's do them. What do you call a group that only wants a Ninja? Goad-diggers. | [-8.52069333e-02 2.74739247e-02 -1.01559907e-01 2.53084563e-02
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6,296 | 6,297 | How does Professor Charles Xavier Apologise? He says "Cerebro" | [-3.23259793e-02 1.41239567e-02 8.31826627e-02 -3.13499980e-02
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6,297 | 6,298 | I'm not afraid that the world is going to end.... I'm afraid that it isn't going to change.... | [ 2.25032354e-03 -1.88600663e-02 6.21984079e-02 -1.78373419e-02
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6,298 | 6,299 | My corn tortillas want me to like them on Facebook. Fuck the future. | [-9.07883197e-02 -2.67445482e-03 -1.04163084e-02 -1.72671583e-03
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6,299 | 6,300 | If I had a dollar for every time I think about you, I'd start thinking about you. | [-7.79805556e-02 5.94048016e-03 2.24483926e-02 -5.08310013e-02
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1.35037918e-02 5.67960441e-02 6.92958534e-02 -1.47062922e-02
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6.19443730e-02 -9.17835683e-02 -1.28999025e-01 -4.39281054e-02] |
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