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6,100 | 6,101 | What is the difference between Coors beer and a ... clitoris? A clitoris only tastes like piss for a second. | [-7.07103452e-03 -4.29440886e-02 -4.30168174e-02 -6.99248314e-02
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6,101 | 6,102 | No Olympian will ever be better at medaling than the gang on Scooby Doo. | [-3.43642198e-02 3.56153771e-02 -9.88428574e-03 -1.00949138e-01
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6,102 | 6,103 | Q: What's a little quicker than a shark? A: The Little Mermaid on her period. | [ 1.55702755e-02 6.07104227e-02 3.63483094e-02 7.35971704e-02
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6,103 | 6,104 | Breaking News: Video has been arrested today & charged with the 1st degree murder of Radio Star. | [ 3.16297337e-02 5.26691694e-03 -1.00344112e-02 3.66342696e-03
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6,104 | 6,105 | I don't watch soccer... If I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 minutes, I would take my friends to the bar. | [ 1.87807996e-02 5.29671572e-02 -2.46069264e-02 -7.87214190e-02
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6,105 | 6,106 | Her: Are you even capable of love? Me: I'm pretty sure I love pancakes. | [-4.74669598e-02 -4.01335731e-02 6.56289980e-02 3.94474110e-03
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6,106 | 6,107 | What is created when you rub two oranges together? Pulp Friction | [-9.07368734e-02 -1.13566548e-01 -4.79353592e-02 1.02012441e-01
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6,107 | 6,108 | "will you be paying with cash or credit?" "Cash" *start playing "ring of fire" on my kazoo *gets tackled by security* | [-8.73381197e-02 7.85234347e-02 -2.70312037e-02 -4.55000326e-02
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6,108 | 6,109 | Spell "attic" without laughing out loud | [ 1.01303436e-01 -5.18333772e-03 -1.91499498e-02 -2.79852860e-02
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6,109 | 6,110 | I too was once a male trapped in a female body... But then my mother gave birth. | [-1.54305920e-02 3.84566598e-02 -4.12143581e-03 1.06252193e-01
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6,110 | 6,111 | Any fountain can be a Fountain of Youth if filled with champagne and you've had 5 glasses. | [ 4.86490950e-02 1.43866404e-03 1.51622696e-02 7.30255386e-03
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6,111 | 6,112 | Why did man invent curling? To convince women sweeping was a sport. | [-1.46016236e-02 9.50574428e-02 2.60794554e-02 -1.46092679e-02
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6,112 | 6,113 | What's the difference between black people and cancer? Cancer got Jobs. | [-7.60795875e-03 6.26542643e-02 -6.51165247e-02 4.95877191e-02
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6,113 | 6,114 | How do you seduce a fat woman? PIece of cake. | [ 2.09499281e-02 5.44486009e-02 -1.48772392e-02 3.45018990e-02
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6,114 | 6,115 | What is the similarity between a projector and an ugly prostitute? Both work better with the lights off. | [-6.52721450e-02 2.11560149e-02 -3.58562395e-02 1.43210040e-02
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6,115 | 6,116 | Why do lesbians shop at Dunham's? Because they don't like Dick's. | [ 4.80129197e-02 -3.34869698e-02 6.86185434e-02 -1.67737324e-02
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6,116 | 6,117 | Play on Words I really want to come up with a play on words but I don't know how it will do in front of an audience. | [ 7.08397180e-02 -8.51220191e-02 8.03915039e-03 -7.89908841e-02
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6,117 | 6,118 | What do you call it when someone resuscitates a person who chokes on alcohol? La chaim-lich maneuver. | [-1.09729785e-02 -2.18750834e-02 -8.95768180e-02 -3.15427477e-03
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6,118 | 6,119 | As a cop, I don't know how to deal with black people... But I guess I'll take a shot at it. | [-8.13171908e-04 9.72712338e-02 -2.55388413e-02 6.43510967e-02
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6,119 | 6,120 | I bet Ryan Gosling doesn't even blow his candles out. He probably just winks at them and they faint. | [ 2.83836126e-02 -2.72591622e-03 2.72418670e-02 1.27920639e-02
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6,120 | 6,121 | *checking out of Hotel California* You can check-out any time you like "Okay yes, now" But you can never leave! "Ugh where's your manager" | [ 1.13359645e-01 -1.45706267e-03 2.43765675e-02 8.45025107e-02
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6,121 | 6,122 | What did Mozart say to the police clerk? "I'll be Bach" hahaha. What do you mean they're different people | [ 1.23751098e-02 9.38260742e-03 9.76024847e-03 -1.10166846e-02
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6,122 | 6,123 | Black humour is like children with cancer.. ..it never gets old | [ 2.86878534e-02 -5.87366223e-02 -5.18725663e-02 5.01634441e-02
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6,123 | 6,124 | Good Girls & Bad Girls! Difference Between Good Girls And Bad Girls Good Girls Open Few Buttons In Hot Atmosphere, But Bad Girls Open All Buttons To Make The Atmosphere Hot! | [ 8.70858133e-03 -1.10511929e-01 1.84160993e-02 5.06436080e-02
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6,124 | 6,125 | What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot. | [ 1.02029048e-01 1.05777800e-01 4.39725220e-02 2.13311147e-02
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6,125 | 6,126 | My friend said I didn't understand irony... Which is ironic because we were standing in a bus stop at the time. | [ 5.76765537e-02 4.23359452e-03 7.20065609e-02 -1.77281238e-02
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6,126 | 6,127 | What is long and hard that women don't have compulsorily? The military service. | [-1.40351430e-02 -2.63891257e-02 2.22594999e-02 8.75498056e-02
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6,127 | 6,128 | What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll up. | [ 1.81270763e-02 1.11953253e-02 -6.21664040e-02 4.74953279e-02
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6,128 | 6,129 | Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? I hear the food is good but there's no atmosphere. | [ 4.92192581e-02 -5.25252782e-02 1.07231796e-01 7.53695816e-02
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6,129 | 6,130 | "Game of Thrones" author George R. R. Martin joined Twitter this week. He already has 80,000 followers and that's just the cast of "Game of Thrones." | [-1.86082907e-02 -5.90315349e-02 -2.16053072e-02 1.75898280e-02
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6,130 | 6,131 | Why is the leaning tower of Pisa in Italy? It's Italicized | [-4.41377908e-02 7.68846646e-02 2.89340112e-02 4.92388122e-02
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6,131 | 6,132 | So ... Helium walks into a bar Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says: "We don't serve noble gasses here." Helium doesn't react. | [-4.16046903e-02 -5.19456714e-03 -1.53998984e-02 9.58607495e-02
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6,132 | 6,133 | My new girlfriend really takes my breath away.... She's inflatable. | [-3.05381455e-02 -5.15196137e-02 6.87807575e-02 -3.61143425e-03
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6,133 | 6,134 | *Mary Poppins voice* Ok, children! Time to go! [15 min later] *Batman voice* I said let's go. | [ 1.14111281e-05 -2.10440047e-02 2.35809777e-02 1.99695886e-03
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6,134 | 6,135 | Why did the owl owl ? Because the woodpecker would peck 'er ! | [ 6.00512065e-02 4.22242954e-02 6.05361573e-02 2.15557795e-02
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6,135 | 6,136 | Comedy legend Joan Rivers passed away. Hundreds of plastic surgeons mourn the loss of their jobs. | [ 4.04653884e-03 3.23304422e-02 -5.29058371e-03 3.28528732e-02
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6,138 | 6,139 | I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said thank you. I said don't mention it. | [ 5.98101923e-03 1.27133012e-01 1.18275091e-01 1.36873582e-02
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6,139 | 6,140 | My new years resolution is the same as last year. 1920x1080 | [ 2.43930891e-02 9.00182966e-03 7.45829120e-02 -3.63628864e-02
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6,140 | 6,141 | So which Gate works at the army? Col.Gate I'll leave now. | [ 6.59351517e-03 -6.70452639e-02 -7.78971836e-02 -1.13610821e-02
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6,141 | 6,142 | Congratulations are in order. I just got the stitches in the roof of my mouth removed from that bowl of Cap'n Crunch I had when I was 13. | [-2.69123539e-02 5.92952929e-02 4.21313457e-02 -1.26617365e-02
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6,142 | 6,143 | Remember, Christmas isn't about how big your tree is, or what's under it. It's about who's around it. | [ 1.21903077e-01 1.07073791e-01 1.52958641e-02 2.49524303e-02
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6,143 | 6,144 | How do you catch a bear? 1. Dig a big hole 2. Fill the hole with ash 3. Place peas all around the hole 4. Finally, when the bear stops to take a pea you kick it in the ash-hole | [ 5.33713549e-02 4.90392111e-02 1.46266490e-01 3.14955376e-02
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6,144 | 6,145 | What's enormous, gray, and unimportant? Irrelephant. | [ 3.58789228e-02 4.16326933e-02 1.61554925e-02 7.34497532e-02
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6,145 | 6,146 | If I'm in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet | [ 3.14125828e-02 -4.15067375e-02 5.71642518e-02 -7.70177618e-02
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6,146 | 6,147 | What kind of bees make milk? Boo-bees | [ 6.42041850e-04 -5.81703410e-02 -2.80183763e-03 4.86977734e-02
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6,147 | 6,148 | I saw Lenin pick his nose the other day... Communists have no class... | [ 4.78779711e-02 2.02397499e-02 -5.27324006e-02 4.45948057e-02
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6,148 | 6,149 | I got invited to a block party recently. I show up, blocks EVERYWHERE. | [-2.83679795e-02 -1.24877710e-02 3.77690047e-02 1.91195533e-02
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6,149 | 6,150 | I lost fifty pounds in two weeks by lying! | [ 2.98204971e-03 8.46288428e-02 3.71316671e-02 1.15311064e-01
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6,150 | 6,151 | What do you call an Asian with a big... NSFW Butt hole? Gay ping! | [ 4.93197441e-02 8.05280581e-02 -3.96495685e-02 4.50316817e-02
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6,151 | 6,152 | A Texas sheriff found a black man who was shot 12 times. He said it was the worst case of suicide he'd ever seen. | [-5.54127898e-03 8.36716890e-02 -6.12631254e-02 5.47581650e-02
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6,152 | 6,153 | I try to live each day like it's my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life? | [-1.00615703e-01 -1.06950924e-02 7.54782259e-02 -2.43108626e-02
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6,153 | 6,154 | What's the difference between a snitch whose been caught and a free-spirited orphan with an Oedipus complex? One's a dead-ass motherfucker. The other's a dead mother ass-fucker. | [-6.47567064e-02 -5.32872602e-02 -1.24687076e-01 9.36966855e-03
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6,154 | 6,155 | BEST vine with nigga - chocolate milk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JZfR4PwIbs | [-5.82982600e-02 -3.95164117e-02 -1.63101070e-02 -2.58392617e-02
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6,155 | 6,156 | Why didn't 2x befriend x^2 ? He had trouble integrating | [ 3.83500233e-02 3.61726172e-02 9.69877020e-02 5.19004054e-02
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6,156 | 6,157 | I, for one... is a roman numeral. | [-5.99368438e-02 5.73227815e-02 3.12302206e-02 -6.09568022e-02
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6,157 | 6,158 | I'm taking up cross-stitch so I can make handmade gifts for all the girls in my life Cause bitches get stitches. (though I won't have as many once this stupid joke gets out.) | [-1.00744687e-01 -2.10717246e-02 4.65814061e-02 4.50516818e-03
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6,158 | 6,159 | The quickest way to find out the time is to order a beer at breakfast with your mother. | [ 4.15089317e-02 1.64977107e-02 -1.04755936e-02 8.61893687e-03
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6,159 | 6,160 | [raises hand during kickboxing lesson] when do we get to kick boxes? [instructor] that's not what we- [me] I just hate boxes so damn much | [ 6.42948449e-02 2.70070843e-02 5.29458420e-03 3.25230329e-04
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6,160 | 6,161 | Two aerials (antennas) meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant. | [-3.08730230e-02 6.91482276e-02 5.36846789e-03 1.03029525e-02
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6,161 | 6,162 | No point I'll go straight to the point, this all sentence is pointless | [ 2.73905639e-02 4.73801345e-02 -4.98096049e-02 2.40941867e-02
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6,162 | 6,163 | Where do stoners keep their money? In a joint account | [ 1.65521856e-02 6.56473041e-02 -3.04307807e-02 -9.32694692e-03
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6,163 | 6,164 | Real friends don't get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive. | [-7.12705404e-03 -5.72547689e-03 3.73385325e-02 1.66707393e-03
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6,164 | 6,165 | I'v been catfishing my best friend Dave for the last 3 weeks. He's gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I'm showing these emails to his wife. | [-7.35014603e-02 8.19444656e-02 7.72804841e-02 -7.10444972e-02
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6,165 | 6,166 | If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk? | [ 2.46274024e-02 5.55445962e-02 -6.32048175e-02 6.71593249e-02
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6,166 | 6,167 | Emails So I had to stop redirecting my emails to the girls in my class. They said I was being too forward. | [-5.54914251e-02 3.39660570e-02 9.35952440e-02 1.26086324e-02
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6,167 | 6,168 | Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed. | [-1.00019149e-01 2.51499936e-02 -3.62265818e-02 6.32457882e-02
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6,168 | 6,169 | Going to a baby shower and I'm real nervous, do they just kind of pour down on you? If you catch one do you have to keep it? | [ 1.33424755e-02 -2.92693339e-02 6.83099106e-02 1.88112371e-02
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6,169 | 6,170 | One problem I had with Catholicism as a child was... all the sexy priests. | [ 3.97634059e-02 7.38877431e-02 9.73055791e-03 3.10826246e-02
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6,170 | 6,171 | Out of all my body parts, my eyes are in the best shape... I roll them at least 489 times a day. | [-4.19202214e-03 -8.84679705e-02 3.20188627e-02 3.24259549e-02
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6,171 | 6,172 | People ask if I saw any 'Red Flags'... Well, I was an anarcho-capitalist and she was a Hoxhaist... | [ 6.71292767e-02 3.61789130e-02 -4.93252501e-02 3.83919440e-02
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6,172 | 6,173 | My girlfriend says I can't visualise things I can't imagine why. | [ 9.19321626e-02 -1.14367671e-01 6.56650215e-02 -1.04089081e-02
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6,173 | 6,174 | What's the best remedy for a sex starved drug addict? A jack and coke. | [ 1.71985030e-02 8.16461910e-03 -2.93170717e-02 5.27142547e-02
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6,174 | 6,175 | Neighbor asked me over for coffee and said 'make yourself comfortable', so I did, I went home. | [ 4.96357493e-02 5.96451201e-02 5.05241342e-02 7.10798502e-02
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6,175 | 6,176 | I know I've had enough to drink when I suddenly know everyone's middle name and it's "Motherfucking." | [-1.50634786e-02 -7.93113336e-02 1.60752591e-02 3.89894703e-03
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6,176 | 6,177 | My work ethic could best be described as "procrastinate as much as possible then frantically scream OH FUCK right before the deadline." | [-3.59444655e-02 3.48615721e-02 9.06745810e-03 4.35087644e-02
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6,177 | 6,178 | Why are frogs happy? Because they eat what bugs them.. Source: 3rd grader told me this joke.. | [ 2.45217718e-02 3.01086679e-02 3.64714041e-02 2.02915203e-02
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6,178 | 6,179 | "It's beautiful today. Let's work outside." *5 mins later* "This was a terrible idea." *more bees disrupt the open heart surgery* | [ 8.10839701e-03 1.50646523e-01 1.24076508e-01 4.85652573e-02
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6,179 | 6,180 | Where does Justin Timberlake go swimming when he's in the Ukraine? The Crimea River | [ 7.27814138e-02 1.08000040e-02 7.72776380e-02 -1.08855106e-02
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6,180 | 6,181 | You know why /r/jokes doesn't allow pictures? thatsthejoke.jpg | [-2.71301009e-02 4.33418341e-02 4.20203917e-02 8.97324178e-03
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6,181 | 6,182 | I think I will start calling my wife "My Customer" since she is always right... | [-9.91694704e-02 -2.03837138e-02 3.18444632e-02 -5.51791601e-02
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6,182 | 6,183 | When the devil buys your soul he makes you sign a contract because even though he is pure evil he has an unshakable respect for tort law. | [-6.89259097e-02 8.36170837e-02 -3.66599821e-02 -4.25512493e-02
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6,183 | 6,184 | What did Sean Connery do when he saw a guy drowning? he started undressing and yelled 'I will shave you' | [-6.99591488e-02 3.92573103e-02 3.36855389e-02 4.11089212e-02
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6,184 | 6,185 | Cars Why do lazy people only drive automatics? Because they're shiftless. | [-1.85889471e-02 2.89731603e-02 7.18365237e-02 6.78478330e-02
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6,185 | 6,186 | I keep getting told I'm a terrible mailman.. Oops I've posted this in the wrong place | [-2.85987090e-02 -1.12295232e-03 5.24801910e-02 1.82150826e-02
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6,186 | 6,187 | My kids are asking to be fed and cared for and stuff. This parenting thing is bullshit. | [-2.07879096e-02 1.12783955e-02 1.04815615e-02 1.11027770e-01
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6,187 | 6,188 | Teacher Johnny: Use the word HARASSMENT in a Sentence... Johnny: I was in Love with a girl and.. Her-ass-meant a lot to me | [-5.99039271e-02 1.07048415e-01 2.81830169e-02 8.46097544e-02
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6,188 | 6,189 | Obesity it's a disease People in America say obesity is a disease. The only thing diseases and obese people have in common is they are both really easy to catch. | [ 6.88449964e-02 6.08295808e-03 7.77003542e-03 8.70333835e-02
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6,189 | 6,190 | I shaved my legs and now my socks keep falling down. Life is hard. | [-5.95155917e-02 -3.10973823e-02 6.52132928e-02 2.52282829e-03
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6,190 | 6,191 | If I've learned one thing from twitter, it's how to get a ton of work done in an hour after wasting 80% of my day tweeting. | [ 2.62417039e-03 1.53697981e-03 1.81914140e-02 5.62555753e-02
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6,193 | 6,194 | Yo mama so fat when she went to Walmart, she tripped on Walgreens, and landed right on target | [-1.15514416e-02 5.11771487e-03 7.74186663e-03 6.07073270e-02
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6,194 | 6,195 | When the cashier asks, "Paper or plastic", I say, "Plastic", then use the bag to suffocate a bird in the parking lot while staring him down. | [-5.52980714e-02 1.14481509e-01 2.38188542e-02 2.56778318e-02
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6,195 | 6,196 | *speaks at high school graduation* Your 12 year free trial has expired. To continue your education please submit your credit card info. | [-2.48924387e-03 6.90260381e-02 3.94715145e-02 -4.90846597e-02
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6,196 | 6,197 | So far my toddler's most impressive defense mechanism is pooping his pants every time anyone rings our doorbell. | [ 2.47610733e-03 4.08606976e-02 -2.27161124e-02 -2.08683237e-02
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6,197 | 6,198 | Told my mom I hit 1200 Twitter followers. She pointed out how my brother owns a house and I'm wanted by several collection agencies. Oh ma! | [ 1.36753796e-02 -9.24242008e-03 -1.45505276e-02 -5.41818212e-04
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6,198 | 6,199 | Never underestimate the power of a woman's INTUITION. Some women can recognize game before you even play it. | [ 3.78242023e-02 -3.27606648e-02 4.37655486e-02 -4.92042489e-02
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6,199 | 6,200 | There are two types of friends: Those that keep your car clean And Julian FUCKING JULIAN | [ 2.24847440e-02 -1.31199099e-02 9.75715742e-02 -2.28820667e-02
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4.05814089e-02 1.93778928e-02 1.93230007e-02 -2.00371463e-02
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