prompt
stringlengths 264
2.01k
| completion
stringlengths 12
4.29k
|
|---|---|
I (22) live in mature student accommodation while I do my Masters. One of my housemates and her husband (early 30s) got pregnant after moving in.
I haven’t slept in weeks and haven’t been able to do my uni work. I am living on this baby’s schedule. I pay a lot to live in this housing and it is against our legal contract to generate noise loud enough to disturb other tenants. I understand that they can’t move out any time soon but I think it’s selfish to have a baby in student housing and they should move out when this is over. WIBTA? ###### | NTA they have those rules for a reason. It stinks for them but there are apartments for families, student housing isn't the place to bring a baby home to. ###### |
13 F here. I've got 4 close friends, all 13. And, like 13 year olds, we like to be play videogames together. The problem is, I'm the only one with a pc, and enough controllers to play all 5.
None of my friends have anything to play on, so they all wanna visit me when we wanna do something together. That's fine, I like them, and I love playing with them. We always have a lot of fun. But every time we're at my place, they screech, scream, yell, curse, and make huge messes. I have a brother, who's room is right next to mine, and he always lends me enough controllers to play, as I only have one. And I repay him with 4 hours of non-stop screaming.
I'm not saying I don't scream too, I'm no better than them. But my parents are beginning to grow tired of it.
On top of the noise, they make huge messes. A girl brings popcorn, and they fight about it until the floors covered. Another girl makes coffee, and there's coffee grounds everywhere. Another girl makes hot chocolate, and she drips chocolate all the way from the machine to the bin. Another girl gets impatient, and begins looking through my stuff, and completely covers my bed with random stuff from my shelves "to look at it"
I spend hours after they leave, my parents give me a lecture about visiting someone else next time, and I ask them to maybe go visit someone else next time?
They all get a no.
I'm just so fucking tired of dealing with this shit like 3 times a month. But I don't want to say no.
WIBTA? ###### | NTA they don't have a right to trash your place. Set ground rules and if they can't follow them they can't be there.
You shouldn't be having anyone over at the moment anyway (though this might depend on location) ###### |
Ok so I'm probably TA but frankly IDGAF and I'm posting this anyways.
Backstory:My parents divorced when I was around 5 and my mom remarried instantly (I think its cause she didn't want to be alone the days I wasn't there). I am an only child but her husband had 4 kids all around my age, so at 5 I now had "siblings" who were 6,5,3 and 2. At first it was alright but as time went on I hated it, they would all gang up on me and it was always a 4v1.
So I spent a lot of time at my mom's and with them, they excluded me a lot saying how I wasn't one of them and it was always tense. Our parents tried to make it work they really did, but the kids wanted no part of it and I didn't want any part of it after the constant fighting and bullying. At 8 or 9 I started playing a lot by myself in my room. At 14 I asked my dad if i could live with him but he had a bad living situation and couldn't afford to have me and he wanted me to at least have a good home which I respected. After years you'd think id see them as siblings but I felt nothing but indifference for all of them cause I can't remember having a single good moment with any of them.
I moved out the second I turned 18 and I split rent with my dad, I got accepted into a GREAT college. I don't want to give out the name but if you watch college football they are one of the 4 teams that made the playoffs this year.
Well now college is shut down and I ended up moving back in with my dad for the time being. I was visiting my mom and I told her about the college, she was proud of me but my step sister (the oldest and 1 year older than me) asked why I didn't tell the rest of the family about me going to a good college. I told her I did tell my family, she got confused and I told her I told my family. She finally got that I meant not her or her siblings/dad. She called me a dick and left the room and my mom said I was being rude and practically kicked me out of the house. ###### | NTA they didn't make you feel apart of their family, you spoke to the reality. Your mum is an ass for kicking you out ###### |
My ex (20) and I (22F) were together for 5 years. In February, they said they wanted to marry me. The past two months (in quarantine), they’ve been talking about how they actually DON’T like me anymore and need some time to think about where this relationship is going. During that time, there were long stints of us “giving each other space” which meant going no contact for a week, two weeks, etc.
I was heartbroken of course. I was devastated, and I took the time they were “taking time for themself” to take time for MYSELF too. I processed my emotions and got really comfortable with the possibility of them leaving me. Well, lo and behold.
Two days ago they dropped the bomb and said they didn’t want to be with me anymore and gave me all the reasons why. I said “You need to know this is permanent. I have no interest in being your friend after we break up and if you leave me like this after five years I’m done.” And they essentially said YUP LATER!
So the next day I changed my relationship status and made a post publicly about how we had decided to end things, it was amicable, etc. just because so many people knew us as a COUPLE (after being together for FIVE YEARS).
Well they had the audacity to text me about how they’re pissed I moved on so fast and how they didn’t WANT to leave me, they HAD to leave me. I told them that’s fine, but they left me so they can’t exactly tell me how to feel and how to move on, especially after I had really been working through the POSSIBLE break up for over a month. They also told they’re pissed I’m advertising myself as single. I said “But I am single? You left me remember?”
What am saying is AITA for “moving on so fast.” This was my first REAL relationship and I genuinely want to know if I’m being an ass here. Thanks everyone! ###### | NTA they can't expect you to pretend you are not single after they broke up with you. ###### |
I (21F) had a tough time in high school. People ignored me or made fun of me for being different. I suspect they knew I wasn't 'normal', but I can't prove it. All I know is they didn't like me and treated me terribly. They called me a freak and the r-word. They told me I'd never make anything of myself, kicked me when I was walking off the bus, and other things like that. I ended up going to college out of my home state to start over. It cost me the last friendships I had. I hoped at least some of them would change and I'd be able to talk to these people as their equal a few years later.
Then last week happened. So a lot of them were posting about how we should be more tolerant and accepting of those that are different from us. I was tagged in some of these posts because it was a social media challenge. I don't do those, but I decided to DM those that tagged me and ask if they really believed it, and if they did, then why didn't they treat me right. I got some mixed responses. Some completely ignored me and others claimed I was lying about being mistreated.
After realizing they hadn't changed, and they probably never will, I went through all my social media accounts and unfollowed everyone I went to high school with. I texted one person from those times that I was doing this since he was the only one that didn't completely cut ties. I told him I wanted to save my mental health, which is more important than any of those so-called friendships. He responded with I was an AH because people in high school loved me, that I'd regret cutting ties with them, and said I was a liar for claiming they'd ever say those things. In his words, they'd never do that because people in my high school were so nice to him! Well, of course they were, he was the class president every year I was in high school! That's what I wanted to say, but I didn't respond and blocked him temporarily until I calmed down. I'm wondering if I was in the wrong for any of this. What say you? ###### | NTA they bullied you for all of Highschool and know their acting like they were nice for their own gain ###### |
I have to sublet my apartment because I just bought a house. I close later in June & don’t want to overlap rent & mortgage so have been trying to get rid of it as quickly as possible. After posting on Craigslist, I got a few messages from people interested. One couple toured last week and told me that they’d get back to me within a few hours but that they were 99% sure they’d take it. 24 hours goes by and I hear nothing. Finally at 11pm the next day (Thursday) I get a response from the guy that they are interested but want to come sign the lease on Monday. Not ideal as they didn’t put down a deposit so I’m leery of “holding it” but I said ok great we can meet Monday. Sunday at 4pm I text and say “Hey hope you’re having a good weekend - just wanted to see what time works to meet tomorrow?” 6 hours later, he texts me “oh sorry I’m out of town so it will need to be Tuesday.” Annoyed but whatever, I say “ok well can we do 11am on Tuesday?” He replies “I’m not sure, I’ll have to let you know tomorrow whether that works for me”. So Monday night he calls and says “hey just wanted to let you know we still definitely want the place but can’t come until Wednesday”. I’m really fed up and let him know I’ve had other interest and that they need to sign. He is like “ok we’ll try really hard to come tomorrow but Wednesday at the latest”. Meanwhile, another woman and her husband who toured over the weekend text me this morning that they’re interested and want to sign today. So I agreed they can have the apartment if they come today and sign before these other guys can come Wednesday since I still haven’t gotten a solid time nailed down. It’s been a week and they’ve dragged their feet without putting down a deposit or anything so I feel justified even though I verbally told them they could have the apartment. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA they are dragging their feeting and taking advantage of your kindness. They are lucky you let them pull you along this long, especially with no deposit to hold the place. First one to sign gets it I say! ###### |
\*my wife has approved this description of events, so it is less biased\*
My wife and I spend a lot of time at her Aunt and Uncle (aged 80+) cabin in Colorado. We come up to help them take care of the house and yard, and we are both pretty handy so we help fix things that inevitably break around the place. We typically spend 3-4 days of the week here during the spring/summer months, and 1-2x/month during the fall/winter (we can both work remotely so no issues there). The small cabin has 2 spare rooms, as well as a loft with no bathroom. There isn't a guest bath that's unattached to a bedroom.
This weekend her parents and sister are coming up to the cabin. They come up rarely, and her sister comes up maybe once year. Her sister is single. She's been told she's selfish in past relationships, and from the outside looking in, I have to agree. We've stayed at her place when visiting her, and she told us to bring our own bedding, towels, food, etc. My wife also had to bring her own cleaning supplies to make the room decent.
We arrived at the cabin last night and slept in the bedroom we always stay in. This afternoon, we got a call from my MIL telling us to move our things up to the loft (which has 2 twin beds and is above/open to the living room) so my SIL can stay in the bedroom. I don't think this is fair given that we come up more often, do more work, are married, and were already here this weekend. There is also not a bathroom to use that doesn't involve us walking into in-laws bedrooms. When my wife told her mother that she didn't think this was completely fair, her mother yelled and told her to deal with it because the sister never comes up and doesn't feel welcome. To be fair, we have always prioritized going there because we know how much help the Aunt/Uncle need.
AITA for not wanting to cater to my SIL? ###### | NTA there’s no reason to bend over backwards for someone who has no better reason or claim to the room. Sounds like MIL wants to avoid a temper tantrum and it’s easier to try and force you guys to move. ###### |
My fiancee and I are scheduled to get married next month, but for obvious reasons that's all in question right now. My state has started the process of reopening, but everything is still up in the air as to when restrictions will be fully lifted.
Now to the problem. We picked a date that has major personal significance to us. It won't occur on a weekend again for another 5 years. So we have a choice to make: give up our date or put off the wedding for another 5 years. Neither of us is keen about either of those options.
I've recently been thinking about option 3: go through with the wedding as planned, just with some changes. Weddings are still allowed to be performed as long as the only people there are the officiant, the couple, and the parents or witnesses. WIBTA if I kept my date but uninvited everyone other than our parents? I've thought about maybe setting up a live stream for everyone else and just having the reception once everything calms down. I'm feeling a lot of conflicting emotions about this whole mess and just need some objectivity. ###### | NTA There’s a fucking global pandemic happening and it’s YOUR wedding. You can have a reception/celebration whenever things open back up. But if I was invited to a wedding that was supposed to happen soon I would 100% anticipate not going. ###### |
Some background: I'm a trans guy. Deadname means the name I do not use anymore.
About a month ago my friend made an Instagram post about how much she misses everyone and dedicated a little section in the comments for specific friends saying what she missed about them.
In my section she puts my deadname in parentheses next to my preferred one. She obviously did not have to do this and her reason behind it was she had a friend with the same name as me so she had to specify. I tried to tell her she could've put my last initial instead.
She has lots of friends/followers who could've seen the post and that makes me very uncomfortable. I don't want people knowing my deadname at all.
She kept telling me no one cares and that most of her friends that saw it were LGBT+ which still does not make it right. ###### | NTA there was no reason to put that and you were uncomfortable ###### |
Hi reddit, I(23m) am a cosplayer, and i attend many local events. Anyway, there was one cosplay that I did where I was a woman(Brazil Escola), and I wore a ton of makeup and a wig. Because i already look pretty feminine, I looked almost like a woman.
I eventually saw my friend(24f), who didn’t recognize me at first, and i didn’t know that she was going to be here today. She told me that cosplaying as a woman was disrespectful and that that I shouldn’t have done that. I told her that she needs to stop being sensitive and i’m not doing anything wrong. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA there is nothing wrong with it, so long as you don't use it afterwards pretending to be funny by pretending to be the stereotypical woman, but I doubt you will. ###### |
So a while ago I hooked up with this girl. She’s pregnant now and her parents kicked her out. Since it might of been my baby I said she could stay with me. But if the paternity tests said I was not the father she would have to move out.
Because of everything going on it took longer than usual to get the results of the paternity test, but we got it back earlier today and I am definitely not the father.
So I told her that she can continue to stay for a few more days, but she has to leave by Saturday. Now she’s freaking out and crying because she says she has no money and nowhere to go and is asking me to let her stay longer.
I do sympathize with her situation, but I just don’t want her to stay anymore. She’s a nice person, but I don’t know her that well and don’t feel comfortable with her around and in my space all the time. More importantly though if she’s still here on Sunday she will have been here for 30 days which would make her legally a resident and then I would have a much harder time getting rid of her and you never know what issues could arise. ###### | NTA The situation is shitty for her, but you have no obligation to allow her to stay. You’ve been kind and given her notice she needs to leave. As you pointed out, after you pass that 30 day mark you will be obligated to follow laws if she refuses to leave.
Has she talked to any fiends or family since she has lived with you? Perhaps she can couch surf until she gets it figured out. ###### |
TL;DR - parents want me to keep the door of my room open while my girlfriend is visiting, insist that I must "earn being treated like an adult" (their words).
I am a 23 year old man. I lived in the dorms for my first three years of college, and moved back in with my parents this semester because I got an internship and my childhood home is closer to it.
During my three years living at college, iet my girlfriend. We're in a committed relationship, see each other every day, will probably get engaged soon -- yada yada yada, haha. We are both accustomed to a environment with privacy. I had a dorm, and she lives with her parents who are pretty lax and have a lot of respect for boundaries.
Since I moved back in, when my girlfriend visits and we are in my room, my mom knocks on the door and tells me to keep it open. It was a bit shocking and frustrating at first, and against my better judgement I chose to just ignore the new rule and hope that they relaxed a little after a while.
Tonight, my mom confronted about it after my girlfriend left. She said that I lived in a "our house, our rules" arrangement, and that I had to "earn being an adult." This last part got me a little heated -- I don't feel as though being an adult is something earned, and if it is, then I have done everything I need to earn it. The rule makes girlfriend feel uncomfortable and not very welcome, and now she's a little hesitant to come over.
I understand that they are doing me a favor by allowing me to live with them, and that the homeowner is entitled to set the rules. It"s just that I think this particular rule is unreasonable and even sort of rude to my girlfriend. And I find the comment about not having earned being an adult disrespectful to me.
Anyway, that was a pretty long post over a pretty simple dispute. Am I the Asshole for not wanting to follow this rule? ###### | NTA the phrase “earn being treated like a adult” rubbed me the complete wrong way. If you have a done steps (like college, job, manage yourself well, able to balance) then you’re a adult. What it sounds like is your mom is one of those people who also see their children as just that, a child and never lets them really grow. ###### |
My husband is trying to make me add his mom on Facebook. I don’t want to. I’ve told him no several times but he just won’t lay off of me about it. I know she’s hounding him about getting me to do it, but I just don’t want her on my page. At first he said she wants to see pictures and videos of the baby and that by not adding her I’m “keeping the baby from her”, but we have a shared album on our phones we both add things to to where she can see them whenever she wants. I also told him that he’s free to send her anything I post related to the baby that he thinks she’ll like. He said that’s not enough. He’s now saying I’m being disrespectful to his mom by not adding her and he doesn’t give a fuck that I don’t like her. I feel it’s disrespectful of him to keep asking me after I say no and trying to force me to add her. AITA here? ###### | NTA the people in here a freakin NUTS. If you don't want to friend someone you don't have to. None of you guys would tell her to be friends in real life with someone she doesn't want to be friends with, so why does that not extend to her social media. Yes, its her MIL, but that really doesn't mean much other than she's her husband's mom.
MIL is an AH for continually pestering and stressing your husband for something she's been told no on. Which in turn is zapping friction in your marriage and household. No means NO.
Your husband is also an AH for not being supportive in your decision to not friend his mom, you said she already has access to media where she can see her grandchild, so at this point there's no argument other than he said so. I'm not saying your husband is toxic, but his response TO this whole thing is toxic. ###### |
So the bf (m 35) and I (f 24) were going to a pool and I have gained a bit of weight since buying most of my suits. I went from an anorexic 95lbs to about 135 in the span of under 2 years. I don’t look bad but I still struggle with my body image a lot. Most of my suits are still Xs and I’m technically a medium now. Anyway long story short I have like 2 mediums and both of them show a lot of my ass. (Ive actually gained weight since I bought them too) He said “well god d*** can’t you wear something that actually covers your ass? There are going to be kids around.” So I went and started trying on the ones that are too small and obviously I’m upset because I look fat in all of them. They cut into my hips and stuff and I look bad. He doesn’t understand why I’m upset with him, even though I explained that the two mediums are the only two that actually fit and that I’m too big for the others. So I just wore one of the bottoms that doesn’t cut in as much but covers more of my ass (kind of). Obviously it’s my own damn fault I gained weight, I’m well aware of that. I plan to go on a diet soon. I haven’t had a ton of money to go buy suits lately so I just got the two mediums cheap on amazon. They are cheeky rather than traditional ones. Am I the asshole for being upset with him? ###### | NTA the only ass you need to get rid of is your future ex.
PS tell your future ex that kids have butts and know what they look like
PPS keep your very slight curves and find a man who drools over them ###### |
My girlfriend (f20) and I (m22) have been together for 3 years. About a year into our relationship, she was diagnosed with ADHD. It made a lot of sense as to what why she did a lot of the things she did, and we agreed that she’d go on medication to make her better. About a month ago, she went off her meds. I tried to be supportive but she’s started doing a lot of things that in all honesty just get on my nerves, the main one being hyperfocusing.
She loved reading as a kid, and is currently doing a Publishing degree but has really struggled since her diagnosis with concentrating whilst reading. Her newest hyperfocusing endeavour is attempting to read 100 books before quarantine finishes. She’s so far read over 50, I’m proud of her, but it is literally ALL she does.
A few days ago I told her that she needed to slow down a bit, not only to give herself a break but to spend more time with me. We ended up in a pretty heated discussion about whether she should go back on her medication, to which she argued she’s doing fine without them, which she clearly isn’t. Her parents have texted me saying I’ve upset her and her friends have said I need to try and understand her and her ADHD more. I do try but it’s difficult when she’s being like this. AITA?? ###### | Nta the nature of mental disorders leads people to not believe they need help for them.
I have adhd. Currently unmedicated and pretty useless.
If one medication gives her bad side effects have her doctor try a different one. Theres multiple choices. If she wants to live her best life she needs balance
Also hyper fixation for those who dont experience it: You forget to eat, you ignore homework, you ignore your bodily needs sometimes.
Its not just reading. Its all she does. If its anything like me you sit down and start something then realize you havent moved in 7 hours. Its not healthy. I once hyper fixated on an art project and spent 9 hours straight on it. I didn't eat or drink or use the bathroom. I hardly even remember the time being spent.
She isnt ok like this. It makes life really really hard.
However you cant shove pills down her throat. Shes in charge of her own body. ###### |
I (21F) had a friend who constantly meets random men online, which is ok but many of the guys she's met have ended up threatening her or stealing from her. We were talking about dating apps when I said the guys she meets make me uncomfortable and I don't really want to be around them. She seemed to understand and was ok with it.
One day later, we were going to hang out and I was going to drive us to another city about an hour away. She showed up with a guy she'd just met online. I was kind of mad because we'd literally just had this conversation and she didn't even tell me she was bringing him. It was kind of a long trip and I'd never met the guy, so I said I didn't want to go with him and we should go another day. She went home and we haven't talked since. If she would have asked me, I might have gone anyway even though I was extremely uncomfortable, but I felt a little disrespected as a friend and afraid for our safety.
AITA? ###### | NTA the LEAST she could’ve done was give you a heads up I’d be uncomfortable too ###### |
My uncle recently died and when we went to discuss the will he left a majority of his belongings to me. I know what your thinking, why would he leave it to me? He never got married and never had children but, me and him were practically best friends what he did have though was a girlfriend. My uncles girlfriend obviously didn't love him and was using him for money. The two of them had a 30 year age gap and she had given birth to a other man's children (twins) while in a relationship with him. My uncle did love the twins dearly so he left them a trust fund the details about that are unknown. Anyways, my Uncle left me A LARGe sum of money and his girlfriend is angry that I am not giving it to her. Since she was his partner. My Uncle also left his house and the majority of his belongings to ME. Due to his age he updated his will frequently so if he wanted to leave his money to her he would have.
My mother is okay with this because his girlfriend was never respectful to the rest of the family, not even my grandmother.so it's not like she would have lasted long. I understand that the children are innocent so I plan on giving her SOME money, but she wants everything, including the house.
Ok so, would I be the asshole for accepting the money
Sorry if I worded it badly ###### | NTA the kids have a trust, they will be fine. He wanted you to have the money so take it. ###### |
For context. In 2006, when I was 8, my dad begun an affair with the mother of my best friend, who we’ll call Alison. My mum found out because of something I had said about them spending time together and filed for divorce some time after. My dad moved in with this woman, and although I still saw him three times a week, i was absolutely devastated because I felt he had left me. 2 years after he left, my dad died, creating a massive rift in my life.
Despite my dads will declaring he wanted to leave everything to me and my brothers, Alison practically demanded she keep everything and because my mum was so wrapped up in her own grief, and mine and my brothers, she gave up fighting it. She also paid off the life insurance on the house my dad and Alison had bought, because Alison asked her too. Also, despite my mum paying for the entire funeral cost, Alison planned the entire thing alone, and went against his wishes, we now have no headstone or grave as a result and that kills me every day. My entire family despises Alison, she stressed my dad out a lot and the doctors believed stress contributed to the heart attack which killed him.
Yesterday I was in the local supermarket and saw her, with her daughters. I tried avoiding eye contact with her as I do every time I see her, but instead of just leaving like she usually does when we run into eachother, she came over and tried to talk to me. I just said “not a chance this is happening” and turned around and walked away.
I do feel bad about the encounter as I never intend on being rude but she taunted me with my dads death for years, and a lot of the trauma I have experienced is because of her so I struggle allowing myself to feel bad.
AITA for ignoring her? ###### | NTA The cut direct - actively snubbing someone socially - is to be reserved only for extreme cases. But in extreme cases, it is considered appropriate to do, and you are in an extreme case. ###### |
I am a full time security guard and a full time college student. I work for a private company, that has a strict no trespassing rule. We have a basketball court on the property and during rounds tonight I found two men (Caucasian males earlier 40’s) and two young boys (maybe around 10yrs old) playing basketball. I told them it was private property and asked them to leave(I’m in the security vehicle at this point). One man seems bummed but is like ok. Then this other man starts screaming at me (5ft female) saying he was a long time resident of the town. I said be that as it may this is private property and you need to leave. Still screaming he says your not gonna let me and my kids play basketball? I said no there’s a strict no trespassing rule. The guy aggressively walks towards my security vehicle and screams “you must really like your job huh”. I laughed and told him “it pays my bills”. He got angrier, and I told him if he didn’t leave now I was going to call the local police dept and have him trespassed. He screams “I heard you the first time you fucking loser”. I followed them off the property to make sure they had left.
Some side information, the strict trespassing rule is because if someone that is not an employee is injured there is concern they could sue the company. If something like that we’re to happen and it was discovered I knew people were there that did not belong there, I would be fired.
So AITA? ###### | NTA The conversation was over at private property. Seems like you were polite enough. ###### |
This has been going on for a while but I think the tipping point happened a couple days ago. She had asked me (22m) if I was circumcised, to which I told her I was not; she proceeded to say things like gross and we’re getting you circumcised in a joking manner...etc.
In that particular situation I could more or less tell se was being serious. And just today she was saying she thinks 7 inches is right right size and anything less would be small,-but here’s the kicker:
She is a virgin and has never stuck a finger in her vagina, whereas I’ve told her I’ve been with plenty of girls that have never commented on my size or uncircumcised penis. (Quite frankly it kinda hurt when she said it would be gross because I take pride in good hygiene downtown)
Initially it was funny and cute but Ive been thinking this is coming from someone who has never even had sex but she has this imaginary expectation of porn penis.
Anyway, would I be the butthurt asshole to confront her and tell her to get more mature? ###### | NTA The commentary about your body is frankly inappropriate and unkind and it would be equally gross for you to do the same to anyone else. Also having an uncircumcised penis is not gross. This is clearly her own anxieties surrounding having sex and it is manifesting in this, but honestly there is no excuse good enough to make these kinds of comments.
If she is otherwise amazing, I would sit her down and say that the comments about you being gross for being uncircumcised need to stop. You don't find them funny, and rather hurtful and you have to assume she doesn't want you to feel like that. Assuming she responds like a normal person (Omg I am so sorry it wasn't my intention to make you feel like that) maybe you can talk about where the comments were coming from. I think it's highly likely they come from a place of anxiety, but that's not a blank check to say shitty things. ###### |
Ill try to make this brief.
My grandma is in her late 60s, was diagnosed with MS 40 years ago. She has difficulty speaking and holding conversations and recently has been showing signs of deterioration.
She had 18 cats when she burned her house down and 13 passed. She had to give up 3 living ones aland was allowed to keep 2 when she moved into government living facilities due to emotional support. This was 15 years ago.
Recently one of her cats passed away and the other has two paws in the grave. Im worried she will be close to follow since she so attached.
Anyhow the neighbor didnt spay the stray they let roam and its having kittens. After running the idea through my mom i decided to get one of the kittens, potty train it and get its shots, introduce it to my cats, and then give it to her.
She was super excited and asked what they looked like. At the time they were days old so all i could tell her was 2 grey and 1 black/white.
Every other day for weeks she has called and changed her mind from grey, to black...to grey...to black. And it takes her a good 10 minutes to spit out the reasons she wants X cat.
Anyways they are 8 weeks ajd the neigbor brought them over. He said i have first dibs, but a young couple wanted the 1 grey and his son really liked the black/white one.
Now this doesnt matter but the available grey one is my favorite. It looks like a little panther. I told him to let whoever wanted specifics to get their choices and i would give my grandma the 3rd one regardless.
I honestly couldn't remember the last color she landed on.
Well my gf got home and i told her and she said "im pretty sure last time she called she wanted the black one"
AITA for leaving it as is and giving her the darker grey one or whichever isnt chosen by the other two interested parties? ###### | NTA the coat of the cat doesnt matter. ###### |
My younger brother doesn't do any of his chores properly. Parents asked him to do the dishes: there were plates in the cabinet with dried on food. They asked him to vacuum: he would just kind of push it in one path, one direction and left all kids of weird track patterns. They asked him to mow the lawn: he purposely broke the mower. When they gave him a manual push mower: he did it like with the vacuum.
Parents do some of the stuff but even I have to clean up after him. Parents say "we cleaned up after you, it's no different than that".
Yesterday this shift happened again and I refused to clean up. My Dad joked about how apparently learning to clean up after somebody else even when it shouldn't be your job is good experience to have before entering the workforce. Bruh wtf. My parents had to get the work done.
AITA for refusing to do chores? ###### | NTA the brother should learn how to do it right godammit ###### |
So a couple of years ago my twin brother Ric and I met his now wife Nikki through mutual friends. I liked Nikki and asked her out, she said yes, we had coffee and a great time. I asked if she wanted to go out again, she apologized and told me that she thinks I’m a great guy that’s why she gave going out with me a shot but for some reason it’s Ric that she’s attracted to (Ric and I are identical twins).
I didn’t expect that but it was fine because it wasn’t as if I fell in love with Nikki at first sight and was already planning the rest of our lives together. I also thought it was cool that there’s this awesome girl who likes my brother because Ric was always the quiet and introverted one and didn’t go out much. So I set them up, they clicked instantly and last month they got married after dating for a few years.
A lot of the wedding guests know how Ric and Nikki got together so I didn’t think it would be an issue when in my best man speech I joked that Nikki knew which twin she wanted from the get go and recounted how her shooting me down during our date led to me setting her and Ric up. Nikki laughed while Ric said that I became his favorite brother after I set them up (we have no other brothers).
However, after the wedding my girlfriend was mad and told me that it was completely unnecessary to bring up that I went out with Nikki. She said it’s disrespectful to everyone and I should’ve just said that I set them up. I think it’s more amusing to know the whole story and that my girlfriend is over reacting (it was one time and literally all Nikki and I did was drink coffee and talk) but I wanna know how people who don’t know us look at this. ###### | NTA the bride and groom were fine with it. It’s their day, and if they’re happy then great! Sounds like a hilarious story, your girlfriend is just upset you spoke about going out with another woman. ###### |
I’m 22F. Boyfriend “Joe” 22M. BF’s brother “Dan” 25M.
I’ve been living with Joe for 2 years now, and we’ve been dating for 4. Dan is Joe’s maternal half brother and he’s been living with their mom for his entire life—he’s never moved out, until now he has to because their mom finally got sick of him and kicked him out.
I don’t dislike Dan, but I know he’s a slob. He’s getting kicked out of their mom’s house because he never does anything for himself or the house (no cooking, no cleaning—not even after himself, no buying groceries, no paying bills, etc.). Basically he just acts like he’s still a kid who has no responsibility to himself or his home and spends all the money he makes at his job on weed and new stuff for himself.
When Joe came to me about possibly renting one of our spare rooms to Dan for awhile, I told him my reasoning above and said I wasn’t okay with it. I thing Dan is nice to hang out with, but I refuse to live with him. I don’t trust him to pay his rent or supplement any of the other expenses in the house like groceries/internet/cable/etc. I don’t trust him to help out around the house or not smoke weed inside. I don’t expect him (or Joe) to cook, because I do all the cooking and I like it, but if he’s not going to help out at all he’s not living with me and eating the food I cook and (mostly) pay for myself.
Joe was upset. He can understand my reasoning, but he thinks we should let Dan move in because he can’t afford to rent a house on his own, and he doesn’t want his brother to be homeless. I still firmly say no and believe Dan should try moving in with his girlfriend or one of his friends.
Joe is now proposing we do a trial run and let Dan move in for a month, and if he doesn’t meet my expectations we have him move out. I told him I’d think about it, but honestly I don’t think it’s worth the hassle because I strongly doubt he’d meet my expectations.
AITA if I say no to Dan moving in, even for a month long “trial run”? ###### | NTA The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior & it doesn't sound like he'll be homeless, he'll just be with roommates who are not family. That might be the best thing for him because then he'll have to pay bills and take care of himself. ###### |
So some back story - I was originally renting a 3bed/2bath house with one other person, we will call them RM1. Total rent was $2700/month. I paid $1400 and they paid $1300 bc I had the larger room. While it was just the two of us RM1 utilized the spare bedroom as a closet and additional storage.
A 3rd roommate eventually moves in to the spare bedroom, call them RM2. I now pay $1000 and they each pay $850.
My SO moves in to share a room with me. This is discussed with RM1 & RM2 prior and they are happy with it bc we are all good friends. RM1 wants a decrease in their rent with another person moving in so we land on my SO and I paying $1100 (collectively) and RM1 & RM2 each paying $800 - RM2 was fine staying at $850. Everyone is happy.
This is where things get complicated. We receive the renewal notification via email and rent has gone up $55/month. No biggie we thought, we will just split it four ways. Nope - RM1 wants me and SO to cover it. When we disagree RM1 then counters and wants us to pay that and her rent to go down an additional $50/month. So our rent would be $1255 and RM1 and RM2 each pay $750. This is not based on anything and is just an arbitrary $50.
A few things to note - me, my SO, and RM2 share a bathroom and RM1 has her own bathroom. I also pay the $35/month dog fee for my dog and RM1’s dog.
They seem to be stuck on the fact that we only pay $550 each and they are paying $800, even though we share a space, closet, etc. I told them that we feel the $300/month to have an extra person in the common area is more than generous so we refused to accept their proposal. AITA?
TL;DR roommate wanted to renegotiate rent after coming to an agreement to which I refused ###### | NTA the $55 increase should be split amongst you, and RM1 should contribute half the pet fee. ###### |
Background. I am a 19 year old female and live with my parents while I go to college. One night I am messing around on my computer in the dinning room. My step-father walks behind me and stops. I look around on he has his face right next to my neck kinda smelling me. I say "stop it" cause it's weird. He walks off saying something like "shut up" in a slightly annoyed tone. I felt some guilt for reacting like that. He then walks outside saying to my mom that I'm in a mood or something. I'm wondering if I was overrating but he know I don't exactly like being touched. We had an issue like this before where after I said I didn't want to be touched he said "get a fucking life." My mum said that I hurt his feelings so I apologized. So am I the asshole, and should I apologize this time? ###### | NTA thats creepy ###### |
He would physically beat me every week at school, I remember once he got scissors and ruined my hair before.
He would fallow me into the bathroom and throw things like heavy books at me, and I would come home with bruises.
But when it came to draft day we were the same age, except I was gay, and barred from military service while he was forced into it.
fast forward to today 4 years after he was drafted he started to post about how awful it was on facebook.
He said something like "how is it fair that women vote on things that can effect millions of young boys lives it isnt fair, it was the worst 2 years of my life"
I left him a comment saying "How did it feel while you were in there, being physically intimidated everyday, knowing it could have all been avoided if you were born different. Thats how you made me feel everyday when we were young, they shaved you, and beat you when you didnt listen, poor diddums you arent against people being mistreated because of the way they are born, you are against you being mistreated because of the way you were born".
"Oh but of course at your little camp there wasnt any "faggots" like me, and Im sure you loved your new haircut you sure loved haircuts when you gave them to me".
I got banned from his group, and he sent me a messenger with homophobic language.
EDIT:sorry if my English is poor its not my first language. ###### | NTA that’s karma at its finest. ###### |
Hello, using a throwaway account and on mobile.
When I was 14 my parents finally bought a house and we were able to move out of our trailer. In the trailer I had my own room because I’m the oldest and my sisters shared a room. The house we moved into had 3 bedrooms and a garage. Before we moved in, my mom asked me if I would be ok sleeping in the garage so that all 3 of us could have our own rooms. I was told that the garage would be converted into a bedroom. I said yes because it seemed cool at the time. So we moved in and at first I shared a room with one of my sisters until we could convert the garage. When we finally did convert the garage, I found out the only thing we were doing was sealing the door shut. I didn’t get an A/C or anything. Since I didn’t have A/C and it was south Texas, I wasn’t allowed to shut my bedroom door all through high school, which led to some awkward moments. Because of the window in the kitchen into my room and my door always being open, I had to go to the bathroom to change. And the laundry room was in there, so people walked through my room at all times of day and night. After a few weeks it stopped being cool and fun and I hated it, but I didn’t get feel like I could say anything at that point. Now I’m in college and every time I come home I have to sleep on the couch because the garage is just storage now. My bed frame broke about 6 months before I left for college and my parents figured I was about to leave, so I just slept on a mattress on the floor. Now I don’t have an actual bed in there, so my parents just converted it back to storage.
AITA if I’m upset that my parents only presented me with the choice to sleep in the garage and made it seem like the best choice and if I’m upset that I spent 4 years living miserably because of my room? ###### | NTA that’s insane that they treat their child like that. I would have an adult talk with them and let them know how much that hurt you ###### |
We've been going out just over 3 years and are 29 and 30.
He makes significantly more than me (3x my wages) And recently got a massive £700 bonus which is more than my regular wages are. (I'm looking for a new job before anyone says) I'm not interested in having any of his money, we split dates 50/50, but there have been things happen where he's displayed kind of odd behaviour which comes across as selfish and something happened last night.
We were hanging out at his, he has a lot of beer in the house (3 crates and lots of other special bottles) I was going to go to the shop to get some and he said, "Nah it's raining, you can buy some off me." And I actually had to pay him £5 for 4 cans of Carling (cheap beer which would have been about £5 in the shop.)
The thing is, if it was the other way around I know I would've just given him beer and not thought about money at all. I would definitely not 'sell' him beer. Even if I was poor. When friends/family come to mine I just give them drinks if they want them. I buy my bf treats too, I bought him a video game this month and have one in mind to buy him when he's finished it. He's bought me stuff in the past but as I said that doesn't matter I don't care about getting stuff, I just thought the drink thing was super stingy. It's not the money it's the notion. For example if he had said nothing and I'd gone to the shop and paid that would have been fine.
AITA for being annoyed that he made me pay for them?
TL:DR: My bf who is on 3x my wages and recently got massive bonus made me give him £5 for a few beers and I know I wouldn't have 'charged' him if it was the other way around. ###### | NTA that’s honestly super fucking bizarre. I cannot imagine the logic in his head to justify this. ###### |
I know the title sounds AWFUL, but hear me out. Throwaway in case she’s on reddit. This story happened before pandemic hit.
My roommate is a sweetheart most of the time, and I like to think that we’re pretty good friends. However, since she was randomly assigned to our apartment, I understand that she has different boundaries than I do which I respect whole-heartedly. She locks her bedroom door when shes not home, and while it does kind of sting that she’d think me or other roommate would do something nefarious, I get it. Our doors have two locks on them; both have a key, but one is flimsy. She stayed the night at her partners house one day, and has a stand alone alarm clock that she uses instead of her phone.
Well, evidently she forgot to turn off the clock and at 7AM it started beeping. I had gotten done working a night shift and was BONE tired. All I wanted was the alarm clock to go off. I called and texted her 3-4x, but she didn’t pick up. So, I went upstairs, picked the bedroom flimsy door lock with my fingernail, and turned the alarm off so I could rest. She came home and was pretty upset asking what I was doing in her room, despite me telling her that the alarm went off for a long time while she was gone. She ended up locking herself in her room and things were tense for a long while after, and I have passed her locking both locks in her room as of recently. At one point she was on the phone upstairs telling her friend how I broke into her room (thin walls). I feel awful.
Was I an asshole for essentially breaking into her room so that I could turn her alarm off? I feel like theres a weird dynamic shift now. ###### | NTA that’s a bullshit move on her part she should be apologizing to you for the disturbance ###### |
This occurred around a month ago and this incident recently came to light.
I (16M) was out with my friend (17F) at a park and these two girls (I'm guessing same age as us) saw me. They were chatting shit about us in Turkish (talking about how foreigners keep on entering their country, trying to guess where we're from and just basically gossiping about me in particular)
I didn't mind and done my best to ignore them, until one of them yelled "Hey chocolate boy!" at me (reference to my skin color, I'm black).
They didn't know that I knew Turkish (I lived here for nearly 2 years now) and I took my opportunity to make a cheeky comment.
I smiled and casually replied back "You like chocolate huh? Wanna try some?" and I gave them a wink. They were surprised that I understood them, but then their expression quickly changed to disgust at my comment. They gave me a dirty look and quickly walked away.
My friend (who doesn't know as much of the language as I do) asked what I said and I told her. She called me immature for doing so and said that my comment was "unwarranted and inappropriate".
In my opinion, I don't think I messed up that bad. They were being racist and I decided to make a joke out of it. But now that I got this story off my chest, I want to see if I'm the asshole because of it. ###### | NTA that's what they get for being rude and racist ###### |
I know this girl who tends to exaggerate a lot of things. I was getting sick of it so when she claimed that she has a black belt in Karate and still regularly practices Karate at a high level I took the opportunity to catch her in a lie.
I knew she was lying because I actually have a bit of martial arts background (a lower level though) and have friends and family who have black belts in various martial arts and some of what she said as well as her coordination and activity levels didn't add up.
My friends scolded me afterward, they said that it was obvious that she was lying but it was also obvious that she was only lying because she's insecure and just wants to impress us.
AITA? ###### | NTA that's the thing about lies they eventually come out. Thing is I don't know much about self defense...yet my favorite memory of 3 rd grade was when I made the 6th grade kicking show off land on is ass. By walking up and grabbing his swinging foot and pushing it up...ah the look on the 6 graders faces that day... ###### |
We are stuck at home and I've been helping my 13F daughter and 11M son work on homework while I work from home. It's just the three of us and our house isn't huge, so there's lots of bickering at this point. Today, my dad asked if the kids could come over and mow their lawn to make some money for treats. I said that as long as they got their homework and chores done, I didn't have a problem with it. Well, the time came around to head over to do it and my daughter hadn't done any of her homework. She already has two Fs from missing assignments from previous weeks that I have been nagging her about (probably overly so). My son finished all of his homework and chores by noon today and then took the dog for a walk. He has straight A's at this point because I've been nagging him just as much as her, if not more. So my son got to go mow the grandparents' yard and get $20 while my daughter didn't. It's almost four hours later and she still hasn't done the assignments that are due today. Am I the Asshole for allowing him to earn money and not her? ###### | NTA that's not favouring the child, btw does she even want to mow a lawn lol ###### |
I a (15M) enjoy cooking and baking and have always wanted a stand mixer since it would make life easier in the kitchen and have told my mom this multiple times and had wanted one for my birthday.
As time goes on my birthday rolls around and my uncle comes to visit use and had brought me a present. I didn't open it until he left as I wanted to spend time with him and not look like a greedy child only wanting the gifts.
When he leaves I open the gift and there it was. A decent looking WHITE stand mixer (that's important for later) and was around £80 in value. I used this multiple times in the kitchen and enjoyed using it as it was a great tool for the kitchen.
A few months later I wanted to make some croissants and asked my mom. She said yes. I went to the kitchen looking for the stand mixer and it was gone. I looked everywhere for it and couldn't find it. I asked my mom where it was and she said she gave it away to charity. I WENT MENTAL
I said a few hateful words saying how stupid she for giving away MY birthday present away for FREE when it wasn't cheap. She said I was in no position to tell her what she can and cant do as it was her kitchen and apparently HER STAND MIXER. I was done at that point and asked why would she even do something like that and her answer was.
It didn't fit in the kitchen since it was white, not black.
I gave up at that point and went to sleep as I had nothing to do. And two weeks later she bought another stand mixer which was almost double the price same brand, same wattage but black. Now, since this wasn't my mixer I was not allowed to use it anymore, so now my mixer is gone and I cant even use the new one anymore
I went on another spree of saying mean words to her and she teared up, my 3 siblings say I over reacted and now I feel guilty
So AITA
(Sorry if this story was too long I had to get a lot of my chest since I was angry)
Edit:cleared up a misconception ###### | NTA That's just straight up theft. You should tell your uncle what she did. ###### |
Last night my partner had a uni exam that went quite late. I cooked dinner and we ate it upstairs in bed.
This morning I saw that he peed into one of the tupperware containers we keep food in after finishing his dinner. I told him it was absolutely repulsive because that's where we keep food. He said it shouldn't matter because it's just salt water and hed wash it out. I told him it was disgusting and he should throw out the container or mark it because I dont want to use it anymore.
He BLEW UP and told me I was overreacting and using anger to get my way. He then scrubbed the container and mixed it in with the other Tupperware so I couldnt mark it.
Now we aren't speaking. He says my reaction was way over the top and all guys do this. I say its gross that he peed in the container and even grosser for trying to hide it from me so that I have to use it.
So internet people, AITA? ###### | NTA that's gross as fuck.
1. He peed in a container used for food.
2. He actively fucked with your ability to choose not to use that container in future.
3. Has he considered wearing diapers since he's apparently not toilet-trained yet?
4. If he's just whipping it out and pissing wherever he likes, how many piss splatter droplets are all over your house that you don't even know about? ###### |
Hear me out.
For reference, my (23f) family is quite large. I was also quite large until I moved out at 18 and lost 65 lbs (29kg). I went from obese my entire life, to having a normal BMI and finally being healthy.
My older sister (27f, also severely obese) has a 2 year old son. He is currently 50 lbs (23kg). He has a hanging stomach and actual fat rolls.
I live in a different country than my family (I moved) so I don't see them often in person, but I see pictures on social media. Every picture it seems he is only getting bigger. Now that it's summer, they're posting pictures of him without a shirt on and you can just see how huge his stomach is and how he has back rolls. It breaks my heart and frustrates me because I know what it's like to grow up obese and how difficult it makes your life.
In almost every picture, he is eating some sort of junk food. Whenever they call me, they're giving him some candy/chips in the background. It seems they just feed him bad foods all day every day. I try to give them advice on nutrition but they don't want to hear it. They embrace the "I'll eat what makes me happy" lifestyle and know almost nothing of nutrition at all.
Finally, I kind of snapped and told them he's fat and they need to pay attention to his health. My mom and sister got so pissed off that they actually blocked me on social media and called me an AH for making fun of a 2 year old. I didn't mean to make fun of him, I just care for his health since I know how the extra weight can bring you down both physically and mentally. Also I of course did not call a 2 year old fat to his face as it's not even his fault that he's obese, it's the adults fault.
What do you guys think? AITA? ###### | NTA that's child abuse. ###### |
I work for a property management company, and today we went to do a cleanout of a house that had been evacuated by the previous tenants. Living there previously was a foster mom with six children.
We opened the garage door, and it was filled floor to ceiling with rotting trash and crap and smelled absolutely foul. We cleared out a pile of mattress and found the carcass of a deer in a tub-I would say based on the decomposition it had been there for about three months. The floor was covered with bits of torn insulation and mice droppings. It took two entire dumpsters to clear out the garage (a neighbor mentioned that once every two years the tenants would rent a dumpster to clean out their home-maybe around the time of scheduled visits?)
The laminated flooring in the living room was so water damaged and moldy that it was coming up with my boots as I walked across it. Every single window screen was broken and the windows were almost too dirty to see through. The entire house reeked like something died inside mixed with disease and unkempt pets; we had to make several trips outside because we couldn't handle being inside for too long. The carpets were extremely stained, matted and filled with food crumbs and the ants that were attracted to them.
I could go on, but I think you get the idea.
Edit: And we haven't BEEN in the basement yet. I'm scared.
I took videos and a lot of pictures, so I can provide evidence.
Honestly I feel like I WBTA if I DON'T report it, but obviously I don't know this woman or her situation, but I just can't handle the thought of those kids living like that. I also feel somewhat conflicted as this is something I learned through access of my job, but I feel like your right to privacy goes out the window when kids are involved. What do you think?
Edit: Just made the call. Social worker will be calling me soon. Thank you for speedy NTAs! ###### | NTA that's appalling, please do report it ###### |
I’m fully aware having sex with any kind of protection isn’t 100% fool proof. But for me I personally don’t want to do birth control. I have terrible memory and it’s expensive- and I have no health insurance or regular medical provider so getting it would be a hassle to begin with.
I prefer condoms + pull out method. I happIly buy the condoms. And for a while my bf seemed to be okay with it. But then he started going soft very easily and attributed it to the condoms. He hates them. Apparently he’s above average in thickness and length and nothing fits him right. He’s persuaded me several times to go raw with just the pull out method and he enjoys it a lot more. But I honestly can’t because in the back of my mind there’s his precum and possible pregnancy around the corner.
We’re both 20 and are in no way in any position to take care of a child. It’s gotten to the point where I’m just... forget having sex. If he has to have it raw... I just can’t do it. I have too many concerns to enjoy it.
AITA..? ###### | NTA that's a major flag. Tell him condom or no sex, if he has a problem tell him don't let the door hit you on your way out ###### |
I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month know. We have gotten very emotionally close and slept together one time.
Last night he texted me that he had something serious to tell me, something he should have told me before. I reassured him that he could trust me, and this exchange went back and forth for about half an hour. My heart was racing because I had no idea what he was going to tell me.
He finally tells me that he was born intersex, and his parents decided for him to have surgery as baby. He said he has felt a lot of insecurity around it and was afraid I wouldn’t accept him. I was surprised and a little hurt that he wouldn’t have told me that before we slept together, but I was very kind and understanding in return because I have a friend who is intersex. It didn’t change how I felt about him.
Finally he asks if he can call me. When he does he asks if he call tell me one more thing, “April fools”. I was pissed and told him that it’s not something funny to joke about. He has apologized in a genuine way, but I’m not over it. I feel like it was tasteless to joke about that, and he really made me have empathy for him and the joke crossed a line(especially since we have slept together). AITA for not getting over his joke? ###### | NTA that's a bad prank. ###### |
My brother and his wife are having a hard time with paying their rent right now, so they asked if they can stay with us for awhile.
After talking it over with my husband we agreed that they could move into our RV and we could hook up the water and electricity from our house. It’s not a huge RV, but it’s got one full size bed and two twin size beds that their kids can sleep on.
My sil is very insulted by the idea of living out in our driveway when we have “plenty” of space inside. My brother was also upset because family would let family stay with them. He also doesn’t like that he would be the one responsible for taking the RV to the nearby rest stop area to drain the black tank.
They both said they would much rather prefer to stay in our living room or that we could put our kids and one of their sons in our sons room and they can share our daughters room with their younger son. Or maybe have some of the kids camp out in the living room.
None of those options appeal to us. With everything how it is and us all being stuck at home my husband, our kids, and I have gotten on each other’s nerves more than a few times. We feel like taking away our kids private spaces would be really disastrous.
As for the living room my husband and I are both working from home, so we need our own separate areas to focus. My husbands job works with other branches in other countries so he’s often working really late at night or really early in the morning in the living room. So having people sleeping in there wouldn’t work out well.
If they were just staying for a few days we probably could make due with them staying in the living room, but they will likely need to stay with us for weeks, if not months. ###### | NTA that was what you were willing to do, they should be grateful. It’s understandable why you need your whole house. ###### |
We are both 25. I'm a fat guy, I have been fat since the start of the relationship. My weight has fluctuated a bit but I'm 10 pounds lighter than when the relationship started and working on losing more.
I wear a 38" waist in jeans and an XL/2XL in tops... for my birthday my girlfriend bought me a bunch of (expensive) new clothes that are WAY too small for me.
She bought me jeans in a 28" waist and tops in a medium.
She told me that I can wear them when I lose weight and hopefully they would motivate me.
I mentioned once to her that when I was around 16/17 I was skinny and wore a 28, but I'm not sure it's feasible to get that skinny again. I'm not sure I even want to, I was borderline underweight. I gained the weight due to giving up sport and extreme depression and binge eating disorder that started at age 21. I don't binge anymore but I'm still fat.
She never consulted me on what I want to look like and I just feel kind of hurt and disrespected. I just feel like she's basically told me "happy birthday you fat fuck" lol..
I think she must be really disgusted by my body to do something like that. It's not her fault, my body really is disgusting, but I guess there's always a part of you that hopes your partner is attracted anyway.
Our sex life is not the best- it was okay at first but now she doesn't initiate much. I never take off my shirt around her.
I tried to act pleased with what she bought but obviously she saw I was upset. She has made comments about my weight before and I can't help feeling like she knew it would hurt me.
Am i the asshole for getting upset at a gift? Was she just trying to help? ###### | NTA that was just a nasty gift. She didn't even get you one thing that you could wear now for your birthday ###### |
Me and my friends are in college. We don't have that much money but it's enough and we aren't exactly poor. One day, we went out to eat and I said I'd pay for their meals because I was having a good day and felt like it. I ordered food for 10 Euros. 2 out of my 3 friends ordered a very expensive fish and together their food cost 80Euros. My other friend just got a burger and a sprite. I didn't really check the price of what they wanted to eat, because we were playing uno and I wasn't really paying attention. When the bill came, and I saw that their food + drinks was really expensive, I refused to pay for their food. I would have had enough money to pay, but I think that it's unacceptable to buy something so expensive when someone else is paying. We weren't even close friends, we met a few weeks ago and talked every 2 days. They ended up paying for their own food and I still payed for my other friends (Burger and a sprite) food. May I add that this was just a normal restaurant, basically everything else was at a normal price.
TLDR: I refused to pay for two friends meals because their food was way to expensive.
AITA? ###### | NTA that was incredibly rude to pick food that was quadruple the price of your food. If these are new friends I’d consider this a red flag regarding continuing these friendships. ###### |
My close friend and I are dating 2 girls that are also close friends.
When it comes to relationships, my friend is a psycho. He made her delete every guy off of her Snapchat, he has her location and her instagram log in and her Snapchat log in. He has 0 trust for her, cusses her out all the time, she can’t do anything without asking his approval first not even going out with her parents, he doesn’t even let her wear shorts outside. She has to filter everything she says because he takes everything the wrong way and cusses her out. She’s been very patient for the past 6 months they were dating, but the entire 6 months they fought a lot every single day.
Of course, I knew about everything because my girl would tell me and my friend would tell me. I’m also friends with my girls close friend too and I care about her.
Basically, her life is hell and she has to censor everything she says and has anxiety 99% of the time because he cusses her out if she doesn’t answer his call right away or doesn’t respond to his text within 2 minutes.
I felt really bad so I had a talk with her and my girl (they came to me for advice I didn’t insert myself) and basically I told her that he’s not going to change and if she can’t handle this for the next 6 months and the 6 months after that, then she should break up with him. And that same night after talking to me, she did break up with him. I feel like shot but I’m happy for her because that relationship was ruining this girl and my friend too he would get really crazy. I just feel bad for helping cause him pain. AITA for breaking bro code? ###### | NTA that was an abusive relationship going nowhere good. Also, the "bro code" is nothing more than a stupid by product of a sit com and it's ridiculous and kinda unrealistic. It almost ruined a group of friends I was involved in and my demand to abolish it saved us. ###### |
This happened about a month ago but I've still been arguing with my family about this. I was babysitting my 11 year old cousin and he had never seen the Lion King before, to my dismay as that was my favorite movie growing up. I thought I was doing him a favor, introducing him to a cultural masterpiece.
Turns out he didnt care less and was playing on the iPad the entire time anyway. But where the problem arose was when I didnt think to skip over Mufasa's death scene??? Never in a million years did I actually think that was even a thing, but alas when his parents come to pick him up and ask what we did and I told them what we watched, they questioned me if I made sure to skip over that scene. I was like "uhh.. huh?"
It caused a huge scene and a big fight that still hasn't been resolved. I really didnt even say anything, it is mostly one sided about how I am so irresponsible and opening up their kid to that sort of violence is going to ruin his life. The most I said was "this generation is going to grow up weird as fuck if you control every aspect of their life like this, what's next he is not allowed to ride bikes with his friends without you driving in your car next to them??".
I obviously would never tell someone how to raise their kid, but he is also 11..I'd understand their position more if he was like 4 or 5, but like he has definitely seen far worse at that age.. right? ###### | NTA that scene is a watershed moment in childhood entertainment. It still fucks me up to this day. Kids absolutely need to see it. Plus the movie makes no sense without is. ###### |
So I work in the ER- and a few weeks ago we had a larger patient in a room close to the nurses station. You can hear everything in that room that is said at the nurses station. The nurse taking care of him was one who I find immature and just an overall bad nurse.
So this patient asked the nurse to be turned in the cart- our Er carts are small and uncomfortable. So the nurse comes out of the room and to the station and proceeds to say “alright I’m gonna need 12 people to help me with big boy down there.” “Alright sir, hold on I’m gonna need a fork lift.” To which I was appalled, at how inappropriate this nurse was. So normally I would tell the charge nurse but she was laughing along! So I texted my manager and they said they would take care of it. The nurse got written up.
Well this week word got out I was the one who reported her and her and her catty friend group have been giving me shit all week.
Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA That poor patient! It's hard enough needing to be a patient at a hospital without being verbally abused while there. ###### |
I (24f) just left an abusive relationship in the end of February. I moved in with my family because I had nowhere else to go. I just found out that I'm pregnant and told my sister (20) and my mom. I haven't told the rest of my family yet because I want to get a doctor's appointment to confirm and to make sure everything is ok first, but today I decided to tell my brother (22). After I told him, he told me that my sister already told him. I super pissed at her because it wasn't her news to tell. I feel like she violated my trust in so many levels, not to mention stealing a special moment from me. She won't tell me who all she has told about my pregnancy and I'm really hurt. I have a very high risk of losing the baby and I feel like the more people know, the more it will hurt when I lose the baby.
Am I the asshole for being angry at my sister?
I apologise for the bag formatting. I'm on my phone and this is one of my first posts. ###### | NTA that kind of information should be assumed private unless told otherwise. Especially with close family. Your sister knew better. ###### |
Since getting engaged, my fiancé and I have been struggling to nail down the basics, including the venue and of course, the date. Our families both have pretty busy schedules and finding a date that suited both families and was in the reasonable future has been quite challenging. Fortunately, finally settled on January 30, 2021 (COVID permitting), one of the very few weekends that both our families are available to travel and attend our wedding.
The only slight conflict with the date is that my grandmother’s birthday is the following Tuesday, on February 2nd. My grandmother lives pretty far from my immediate family and myself, and even when I was growing up we didn’t celebrate her birthday beyond a phone call. However, since the wedding date we picked is so close to her birthday, my mom is insisting that we make our wedding reception a split party between our reception and my grandmother’s birthday party. She wants to have a separate cake for my grandmother beside the wedding cake and everything. I love my grandmother, but our wedding reception will also have my fiancé’s family, our college friends, and work friends in attendance who have never met my grandmother. None of her friends will be there and I feel like it would be weird to celebrate her birthday with a bunch of strangers. Also, not to be self centered, but I kind of want my wedding day to be about me and my fiancé, particularly since we’re the ones paying for the venue, food, and entertainment. I want my grandmother to feel celebrated and loved, but I also want to have my special wedding day.
So, AITA for telling my mother no and that we should celebrate my grandmother separately? I don’t want to be a bridezilla, so I’m willing to negotiate, but I just feel super weird about it. ###### | NTA that is so weird. What does your grandmother think? ###### |
My husband (28M) and I (26F) have been talking about his interest in music and movies and he admits that he think men are better/more interesting in movies and in music. They’re better writers, singers, musicians, etc. He doesn’t think women are incapable of being just as good as men or better, he just says he hasn’t found any female artists that impress him as much as men do. Which is upsetting enough I guess. But he also says the few female artists he does like, he won’t play when I’m around because he doesn’t want me to start playing more female artists all the time since he doesn’t like a majority of them. So obviously I’m pissed. I feel like he’s just manipulating when me he does that. Who’s the asshole here? ###### | NTA That is seriously messed up. Its fine if all his favorite artists are male, but its really dickish to take that 5 steps further to "women aren't as good of artist or writers because I personally haven't found a work by a women I like as much as mans" Thats the exact reason that we know JK Rowling as JK not Joann, and it is bullshit.
And to say he wont play female artists around you just so you don't play the music you like, thats manipulative as hell. If you don't dump his ass I'd just constantly have my phone in my pocket blasting female power anthems every time we hung out. ###### |
My(23F) brother(28) is dating this guy(20). He told me and our parents about it a year ago. I was kinda weirded out about the age difference but they’re both adults so I didn’t say anything.
I visited my brother often and I got close with his boyfriend too, we became good friends. Last time I visited them(this was few months ago before all this stuff was happening by the way),my brother wasn’t home, so me and his boyfriend were hanging out. I was on his laptop and going through the photos, I wasn’t snooping, he was sitting right next to me, doing something.
I came across an old photo of him and my brother. He looked reaally young. I asked him about it and at first he kind of freaked out, but he finally told me that they’ve been dating for longer than they told us. He told me that they have been seeing each other for 6 years. So he was 14 and my brother was 22.
I was really shocked and disgusted. I left, he called me few times but I ignored it. Few hours later my brother started calling me. I answered and told him that I was disgusted with him and I didn’t want to see him anymore. He said that they weren’t even really dating and they started dating when he was 18, basically bullshiting me.
I’ve cut him off completely. Only person who knows the actual reason is my best friend. She says that I’m kinda overreacting and since they’re both adults now there’s no point in having this reaction. ###### | NTA that is really creepy. Think about how that boy's parents would feel if he was dating a 22 year old man. Really sick behavior, even if their relationship turned out to be positive; dont let it fool you, any sort of sexual relationship with a minor (not even a late minor a "just hit puberty" minor) is abusive and disgusting ###### |
Aita for insisting on using my sister's internet for one hour for a big job interview? Backstory: she had already said yes and it was planned and everything, now she just texted me that her boyfriend is going to be home unexpectedly so I basically need to find somewhere else. Her boyfriend and I have never had an argument or anything, he is just really possessive of her. And before you ask, he was like this before the current situation too. If I was over visiting her (rare occasions) I would have to leave before he got home just because he doesn't like other people there. I don't have any other options for internet for my interview since the city library is closed. Aita for telling her boyfriend to suck it up for an hour so I can get a good job? Edit:I also want to note i live in a very small town. No Starbucks or McDonald's or any other source of internet besides the city library which is closed. I would go somewhere else if I could but that would mean going to the next city (about 40 minutes away). I have very very few options here.
Edit edit: wow I wasnt expecting to get this much response so quickly. So I'm going to add some things.
Yes I had bad vibes about their relationship before this but after reading all the input I definitely realize just how bad it is and will be working harder to try to help her with this any way I can. I've already sat down and we had a heart to heart convo. Thank y'all for opening my eyes to just how bad her situation is.
I do have data to occasionally get on internet, like on Reddit, but it isn't a good enough signal to handle an hour long video conference interview. Luckily everything ended up working out okay. ###### | NTA That is extremely unhealthy behavior he has and you should be very worried about your sister. Normal people do not act like that. ###### |
This happened a few months ago, but my brain won't let this one go.
So I was hanging out with some friends. Two guys, one woman. We're all in our early 20s and have had our fair share of romance in life. The topic of sex popped up and we start talking about some of our past experiences. One guy joked about how having sex only made his dick bigger and bigger. We all laughed and he said that he wished that's how it works. My female friend (let's call her Sarah) piped up and said "Yeah, for women, it's the complete opposite. The more sex you have, the bigger your labia gets and the looser you become." There were some chuckles, but then I asked her if she was serious. She said she was.
Now, this is a big myth. I was surprised a woman who has had some experience actually believes that. I basically told her this, and then she started getting annoyed, asking "how me and my dick knows about that". I said the same way I know anything about female anatomy- I've read up on it. The whole "women get looser" thing is something sexist dudes made up to slut-shame women. My other friends were silent on this. She then just said: "Whatever, I'm not in the mood for this kind of mansplaining."
So I'm at a loss here. AITA for explaining something that I feel like people should just know about? ###### | NTA Thank you for trying to bust this myth. ###### |
So my parents and I were talking about my future and I told them how I want to get married and have a few kids and that I already have names picked out. My mom told me ‘good luck’ and how she didn’t even get to name any of us kids that she birthed. She told me she wanted to name me *name* but her MIL was against it and was being sarcastic telling my mom she could just call me that on her own but my name would be what it is now and that it’s tradition for the mans parents to pick a name for your kid. I was annoyed by this but said I wouldn’t let that happen to myself or my kids and if I’m going to be carrying a baby for 9 long hard months and then birthing it out of me then id definitely be the one naming it along with my husband. Also apparently it’s tradition to not know your babies gender but like I said I’ll still know I just won’t tell anyone until it’s born. I’m pretty superstitious when it comes to the evil eye so I told them my pregnancy would be very discreet and lowkey and that no one would know I’m even going into birth until after I’ve had my baby. But they thought me insisting on naming my own child was rude and disrespectful to my future in laws. ###### | NTA Telling you that you can't name your own child is a shitty, disrespectful tradition. ###### |
My parents divorced when I was 5, my dad remarried almost immediately (like within months after the divorce) and my mom remarried when I was 9 or 10 can't really remember. My dad's wife had 4 kids who were at the time 7,5, 3 and 2 while I was 5 when we all moved in together. Now I didn't live full time with them, I was half at my mom's half at their place and they were the same way and were only together for about 2 weeks out of the month. It was not a good situation when we first moved in, everything from the time the youngest could walk was always a 4v1. Every vote was always against mine, every argument with 1 became an argument with all 4, and some other stuff that made me really hate going over to my dad's if they were over. While my mom's husband had a kid my age too I get along with her WAY better than I do the kids at my dad's house.
I was recently talking with my friend's while I'm at my dad's on the phone, my door was slightly open at the time. My friend said something like "I didn't know your brother was on the baseball team". I corrected him and reminded him that he is my step brother not my brother and we dropped the conversation and went on with the rest of the day.
When I was done though, my dad told me to quit it with the step sibling stuff and to just call them my siblings. I told him I'm just being literal in what they are, but he is practically forcing me to call them my brother and sisters now. AITA? ###### | NTA tell your dad if they ever treated you like family then maybe you would speak about them differently. ###### |
So I haven’t worn a bra in like 3 years, I’m only a B cup and I just find them uncomfortable. It’s not like I’m wearing see through shirts or anything but I guess yeah if you look you can see the outline of my nipple.
I’ve been working at this job for almost two years and it’s never been an issue but yesterday an older coworker approached me and asked if I could start wearing a bra to work because she doesn’t like me “throwing my body around”. I basically told her yeah sorry but no, I don’t even own a bra and it’s not part of dress code from what I’ve ever noticed.
She huffed and walked off but now I’m about to head into my shift today and I’m getting anxious on if I’m in the wrong here. AITA for not wearing bras? ###### | NTA tell her to stop looking at your boobs... ###### |
We have a friend who came out openly as a lesbian two years ago (we're all 15 y/o now) and ever since the beginning of the last school semester, she's been touching me.
She was always hugging me from behind, or pinching my butt, or squeezing my breasts. At first it didn't bother me because my friends and I all playfully do this to each other, but then I started to notice that she was doing it more frequently to me than them.
Whenever we sat down, she always found some way to sit next to me, and always found some way to put her hand on my knee.
Our group likes to do "air kisses" - where you kiss the air on each side of someone's cheek - but more than once, she has "accidentally" kissed my actual cheek. But she never "accidentally" kisses any of our other friend's cheeks...
Right before they canceled school, she made a beaded bracelet for everyone in our friend group, but mine and hers were the only ones with hearts on it.
I'm too afraid to tell any of my other friends what she is doing to me because I don't want them to think I'm homophobic. COVID has been a safe haven for me because it gave me an excuse to avoid her for many months.
But we're all supposed to hang out tomorrow and I don't know if I can keep doing this. She's touched me so much that even as I write this I can think forward to tomorrow and already feel her touching me again.
Will I be the asshole if I tell her to stop?
TL;Dr I have a lesbian friend who touched me so mucb that I want to tell her to stop touching me, but our group is a very touchy-feely group and I don't want my friends to accuse me of being homophobic. ###### | NTA tell her to quit sexually harassing you ###### |
About a year or so ago, my wife asked me for advice on how to invest her IRA contributions in the stock market. Note: she was very hesitant to take my advice, and thought investing was like betting, because she thinks it is the same thing as gambling. Without pressuring at all, she took my advice anyways on what to invest in (low to moderate risk stuff). She then proceeded to mention it to me nearly every time the market had a bad day in a very whiny and complaining voice. When I reached my limit in patience after numerous such complaints, I said this is making me feel guilty and responsible, and maybe we shouldn't talk about this, and you do what you want to do with your IRA funds ( i.e. if you want to sell, do what you want.)
She proceeds to get super defensive and say how it "wasn't her intention" to make me feel bad. Fast forward a few months to today, she again raises how she wants some more "tips." I say I don't want to be involved at all. She then proceeds to get angry at me, including for bringing up the past incidents mentioned above, and continues to focus on "I didn't mean to make you feel guilty" as if that's the only thing that matters. I repeatedly say that it's not really about what you intended, it's about how you speak, the context, and how that can make me feel in light of that. Now she's in another room and we aren't talking.
AITA? ###### | NTA tell her to hire a financial advisor ###### |
My cousin had to make a delivery for work—8-10 hour drive or something like that. I told him he could crash at my place on his way back as it was about 4 hours closer than his house. When he got there, I told him to help himself to anything in the kitchen. He slept on the couch(I have a spare bed but that’s where he prefers I guess) and when I woke up the next morning for work he was surrounded by some trash and a few dirty dishes.
I get home from work and there’s even more trash and dirty dishes surrounding him. I go to the kitchen and it’s been pretty much raided. All of my breakfast bowls(I had ) were gone, half the box of hot pockets was empty, both big bags of chips were eaten, 2 litre coke had barely any left, all of my oatmeal pies were gone(I only had 1), my box of protein waffles were gone, he even ate like 3 of my GF’s veggie burgers.
He was only here 1 night and 1 day! He arrived Thursday at around 10pm and left Friday at 5pm. Why did he need to eat that much??
When I called him out he just said “dude what, you said I could eat anything” I said “yeah anything—not everything! I’m trying to limit my grocery store trips now I’ll have to go again this week. Come on dude, what the hell” he offered to give me money but I declined it.
Later his mom called my mom and said when he got to her house he was acting weird when she was asking about me. So my mom called me to ask for the details. I guess I pissed him off but was I really wrong here? ###### | NTA take anything you want means dinner (and breakfast and lunch depending on how long they’re staying) and maybe a couple of snacks. He also broke the unspoken rule of don’t take the last of anything (at the very least ask first) and leave enough for the host/whoever bought he food to have some too (that doesn’t mean 5 drops of soda that means at least 1 glass). ###### |
I (23F) have been dating a 27 year old man for about three months now. The relationship is slow moving but nice- we see each other 1-2 times a week and generally have a great time together. Here's the issue. This dude teases me ALL the time. Constant ribbing kind of stuff, poking fun. I like the banter most of the time, and tend to do it right back. All is fun and games, except for the fact that this dude can dish it out like it's no one's business, but can NOT take it. He pokes fun at everything about me, even to the point where it's made me kind of upset. I've brought it up but it doesn't seem to faze him....but the moment I cross any imaginary perceived line on his side, he goes on like i'm some sort of roast master and that he only teases me in retaliation....which is completely not true, as he usually starts it.
The whole thing is really getting out of hand and is seriously making me question my own actions. For instance, he constantly comments on my outfits (making fun of floral prints, etc.) so when he showed up one day straight from four wheeling, I told him he looked like a barn yard animal and he lost his shit and immediately insulted what I was wearing. When I brought it up, he said he only insults my outfits because I do it to him. Last week we went to a party, and he made me a drink. It was really bitter, and I don't like bitter drinks. I was really tispy, so I apparently kept bringing it up at the table jokingly and asking for sugar. He hasn't talked to me for days and is PISSED that I "purposefully embarrassed him in front of our friends..." coming from the same man who refused to try my cake later that night out of spite. Once I realized I had hurt his feelings by insulting his drink so many times, I apologized a lot and said I would stop the ribbing and watch what I say...but I can't help but feel gaslighted. So what do you think Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA sweetie. Dump this man like the trash he is. If he cant respect you enough to understand his comments have gone too far and then tries to gaslight you into thinking *you* started things, then he doeant deserve to be in a relationship as that's very abusive behaviour. Run from this abusive immature idiot before it's too late! ###### |
I (m,23) have zero tolerance for people who are late. I have been dating a girl (22) for a few months now. She is always late, usually 5-10minutes but sometimes 15-20minutes. It drives me nuts but I dont say much. Yesterday we had a date, she did not show up I was calling her but she was not picking up the phone. After a while I decided to go back home. After 50mins she calls me and says she went to the beauty salon to get her hair done so thats why she was not able to pick up the phone and she was late. She went really mad when told her that I already left. She called me AH, because she spent all the time to look beautiful to me but I did not wait and just left. So, AITA here? ###### | NTA Stop dating this girl, she doesn't respect you or your time. Very selfish. ###### |
I’m my homes Cinderella basically. No, my family isn’t abusive. But all the chores in my house are given to me. Everyone else is exempt from picking up after themselves...I must do it for them. If I’m sick and can’t do it, no one will do it. If I don’t feed the dog, no one will do it. Giant spill on the counter? Whoever did it won’t clean it up. I have to do it.
My sister is the worst out of the 3 people in my family. She will cook something and leave the scraps of food all over the kitchen all day. There’s so much clutter all over the counters there’s no room for anything. Day after day I have to clean it.
I’ve mentioned this to my parents and they don’t give a fuck. My parents are very lazy tbh and if it’s not their problem or if it doesn’t affect them they don’t care. They are so easy on my sister who can do whatever she wants, when she wants. She’s 17 and I’m 22. I’ve asked her to contribute and clean up after herself but she just whines.
So today she made a salad. There’s lettuce all over the counter, chopped tomatoes on the floor, and dirty dishes left all over the table. So I took her mess and her dishes and put it on her room on her floor so she’d finally clean it. She freaked out and asked why it was there and I said “because it’s your mess and if you keep refusing to clean up after yourself, I’ll move the mess to your room so I don’t have to deal with it. It’s ready to be cleaned whenever you are!”
She flipped out and told my parents I messed up her room and they got upset with me saying that I’m causing drama in the house and that my sister is bored being in the house all day and doesn’t need this stress. AITA? ###### | NTA Stop cleaning up after them. I guess you should keep feeding the dog but stop everything else. Everyone else needs to pull their own weight. ###### |
Okay, so some backstory. My parents are pretty well off, and with everything happening have been pretty lucky to have kept their work and consistent pay checks. I (21F) am married, moved out, finished college this semester, and completely financially independent from my parents, although my husband and I still go to their house for dinner about once a week. I have 2 brothers, one older and one younger, and i’m close in age to both of them. Neither are financially independent. My younger brother (20) still lives at home and my older brother (23) still has about a year left in college and my parents pay for his rent and food. They paid for my rent and food until I got married. They paid my tuition all 4 years, and they’ll pay my brothers tuition until he graduates. (we go to a school where tuition is 5-6k/year)
While at their house for dinner, I mentioned that my husband and I got our stimulus checks, and my dad said that we should give him $200 since he would have gotten $500 per kid (or $1500 plus $2400 for he and my mom), to make it “fair”
My husband and I could really use the money, and feel like since i’m not financially dependent on my parents that we shouldn’t have to pay them anything. WIBTA if I told him I won’t pay him?
info: I don’t mean this to sound like I don’t appreciate everything they’ve done for me, because I do and I have told them that. I couldn’t work through college because I had a full course load and my program required 20ish hours/week of unpaid work as a graduation requirement. However, my parents offered to support me through college from the start. ###### | NTA Stimulus checks are to help boost the economy and get out of a tight spot. Not a way to have to pay back a father who wasn't forced to pay for a kids living expenses and tuition past 18. ###### |
I’ll keep it short and sweet. So my friend (I’ll call him Steve) is known as a huge flirt amongst our friends. We call him the bulldog, cause he literally takes every chance he gets to flirt with any female in range, even though he has a girlfriend. From buying girls random stuff to just weird and uncalled for compliments, he’s the ultimate flirt.
So anyway, I was at a small get together with some friends last weekend, and Steve was there, without his girlfriend. Steve was all over my girl, but I let it slide because I trust my girlfriend. (This has nothing to do with her, In not upset with her in the slightest) My girlfriend starts drinking pretty heavily, and begins throwing up halfway through the night. I’m taking care of her, and Steve starts to help as well. At first I was happy for the help, but as soon as I walked away to get some water, Steve swoops in and starts rubbing her back, and holding her neck with his hands. He was REALLY close. I didn’t really care, but it gets weirder. I try to come by her side and hold her hair back, but he kind of blocks me off! He put his arm around her to carry her off to sit in her and my tent.
At this point, I really think there is no point at all for him to be helping. If anything, he’s making it worse for her. I mean if I were puking my guts out I’d rather there be nobody around except for maybe one person. Later that night, my girlfriend told me that Steve kept asking for hugs because he and his girlfriend were not in a good spot and he missed her. What?????!! However, she did say that I shouldn’t be mad and that Steve was genuinely just trying to help out the situation. He CAN be a nice and selfless person, but I was a little too weirded out to tell.
Was he just being nice? Am I just being jealous? ###### | NTA Steve was taking advantage of your girlfriend. It is generally considered good to protect a friend or partner who is not sober from people who might take advantage of them in that state. ###### |
I(16m) have two younger brothers. One is 7. And to put it simply he is addicted to the PS4, specifically fortnite. He hounds our parents for money for Vbucks and has to have the PS4 constantly or he throws a fit. Or he sits in the room when someone else is on it and just trash talks. So basically I’m getting the PS5 when it releases for my good grades/Christmas and because he keeps throwing a fit My mother is considering getting him his own PS4. I’m the only one who doesn’t deal with his crap and he knows it. So when I heard she was considering it my first thought was OMFG you can’t be serious. She hates the fact I don’t want to have anything to do with him because of how he treats me and he has lied to cause issues for me and most of the time she takes his side. Yes she takes the word of the 7 year old over the 16 year old. I just don’t know what to do anymore. AITA? ###### | NTA start recording this stuff and talk to them. Print out signs of gaming addiction show and highlight behaviors that match say your concerned what's happening and that your brother needs help. ###### |
I'm an artist and I found a following online. I'm starting to make some serious cash for what I do and it's been helping me save up so I can finally move out of my parent's place.
Due to the quarentine, this has basically become my full time job which means I spend a large portion of the day in my room. I also work well into the night since there are fewer distractions, so I tend to sleep in until 10 each day.
I don't neglect home responsablilties and I do come down for a few hours each day. However my mom wants me to be down as often as she is and wake up much earlier too. No matter how much I tell her about what I do she doesn't understand that I actually work, and that my success hinges on my output.
She says that I'm just neglecting her feelings. That I'm just using this art thing as an excuse to avoid her and be lazy.
AITA? ###### | NTA Sounds like your mother needs a hobby and some friends. If she needs you for serious reasons like medical needs, you gotta be available for that but other stuff should be able to wait, as if you were actually away from home and not there to do it. ###### |
My cousins "James" and "Lydia" have 9 children. They are a wonderful family, and we spend holidays together. My husband and I suspect that their youngest "Grace" has Down syndrome due to very subtle physical features, motor delays, and her mother's age when she had her, but we haven't said anything to anyone else in the family.
When we were over to their house for Thanksgiving, I was fussing over all the kids like usual, and things went wrong when I got to Grace. I did the whole "Wow, you're so big!" thing and asked Lydia, "Is she walking yet?" Lydia very harshly snapped, "No. But nothing is wrong with her." Honestly, it was a little shocking and I was caught off guard. All I said was "Okay. But if there was, you know we would never love her any less." That was the end of that, and I thought everything was okay. Then, we weren't invited to the family Christmas.
I recently was talking on the phone to James and brought up to him that we had gotten all the kids Christmas gifts. He then told me that Lydia is still very upset that I asked if Grace was walking yet and that she expected an apology before we would be welcome over again. I'm planning on apologizing anyway, but I really don't think I did anything wrong. AITA? ###### | NTA sounds like your cousin is overly sensitive. It’s a normal question which doesn’t need an apology at all. Unless the baby is three years old, asking “are they walking yet, talking yet, sleeping through the night yet” are all normal questions. ###### |
So about 5 weeks ago, this girl and I matched on tinder, and we both really liked each other! From then on, we have been chatting, pretty much nonstop, throughout lockdown over Instagram.
Yesterday, she told me we were too different and she wouldn't be able to date me (crushing). She did say, however, that she really wanted to remain just as close, text as often as we do, and remain friends, to the extent that we hang out irl once lockdown has ended.
Initially, I was quite hurt because I really did like her but accepted that we try and be friends. I did this because I did really like texting her.
However, throughout the day we've been texting just as much and flirting to the same extent. Although I enjoy it, I don't think its sustainable, because I feel like shit texting her, knowing she doesn't want anything other than friendship. I get pits in my stomach texting her when I think about it.
AITA because I'm throwing away this friendship because it's not leading to something romantic (which is why I started it in the first place) ###### | NTA sounds like she's leading you on and keeping you around as a fallback crush. Don't waste your time. ###### |
My father and his family lost their home and had no place to live. He has a teenage son, my half brother, who is 15 and a known smoker. Because they had nowhere else to go, I offered them to stay at our other house we usually rent out to other people. The house is situated within our property, just next to our home.
Prior to my dad moving in, my mother and my sister moved in with us 6 months ago after my stepdad passed away.
We have many spare bedrooms in our home so them moving in wasn't a problem. .
This is where the conflict arises :
I don't charge rent from my mom. I don't let her cook. I cook for 5 people in our home (my husband, my mom, my toddler and my sister). It's just my way of looking out for my mom because that's what she did for me when I was young and struggling. She raised me as a single mother for years..
My dad has a problem with this because I am charging him and his wife the same rent I charge other tenants (it's a well furnished house). He thinks I'm playing favourites between parents because I don't charge my mom any money. He thinks he should pay less rent as compared to other tenants because I'm his daughter.
Apparently, he doesn't like to be reminded of the fact that he charged me rent the one time when I was very sick and had to move in with him and his wife when I was in college. I had a part time job, and struggled to pay my bills with my illness. I wasn't shown any consideration.
He also has a problem because my husband doesn't help him out with his groceries. He is older now, 71 and thinks we should be the one getting him his groceries. We don't think so, his wife is 50 and he has a young son. They can be the ones doing the grocery shopping if he's to fragile to move around.
AITA? ###### | NTA sounds like a case of “you reap what you sow” ###### |
So my brother is a twitch streamer he isnt huge but he averages around 100 to 150 concurrent viewers during stream. He does it full time while going to college. When he streams I(14M) use it as background noise and normally lurk. Today I decided to say something in chat and he ignored it which whatever streamers ignore messages all the time but I talked in chat every couple minutes. Never brought up any affliction with him never said he was my brother I was just acting like a normal viewer. He then went on a bathroom break for the stream and went and knocked on my door telling me to stop talking in his twitch chat. I asked why and he said becuase my mods on my stream know who you are. I asked why that's a problem I am friends with one of his mods none of them said anything about me being there. Well he went back to his room and went back to streaming. I then said something in chat and he muted me for 48 hours. Am I missing something here? I didnt ask for mod. I didnt bring up that I was his brother so people in his chat would pay attention to me I just watching a stream like i would any other stream. ###### | NTA sorry lil dude, idk what the hells up with your brother. If I ever stream I hope my siblings watch but that’s just me. ###### |
So a coworker of mine and I happen to share a lot of the same friends. Today we were talking about some of our friends, and she starts describing this one friend she has. He sounds familiar so I say that he sounds familiar, I have a similar friend and start describing him thinking it might be the same person. I said he was smart, really funny, black, tall, and sporty. She then looks at me funny and said that she didn't know I was racist. I was really confused I said what? She said that since I said my friend is black that makes me racist. I was so confused and flabbergasted so I just went to do other things. I've been thinking and do I just not know what racism is? Is saying someone is black racist? I am still confused ###### | NTA some people are just so scared of being racist they get ridiculous. ###### |
Hello!
My sister said I could use her throwaway account so I didn’t have ties to my personal one. Also on mobile.
My husband’s sister, my SIL, is due to get married next month. The venue is allowing her wedding but they had to heavily adjust the guest list. My daughter was set to be the flower girl and my husband and I would just be attending as a guest. I was cut from the guest list. I understand as I have never been made to feel welcomed in the family and we’re not that close. Why take up a spot when she has plenty of other people she wants around?
Well due to obvious reasons, and my husband’s job banning travel (the only travel he is allowed is a work related trip here in the near future), he told my SIL they would no longer be able to attend. My SIL then decided that I would be the one to bring my daughter to the wedding but I still wouldn’t be a guest. I would just be driving her 12 hours to another state and hanging out at the grandparents home while everyone else is at the wedding.
Here’s where I feel like TA.
I informed her that I would not be sending or traveling with my daughter because 1- am immune compromised, 2- I have school (online) and a work from home job that demand my time as well, and 3- there are family members who my husband is no contact with and he would not want her around these people without one of us present.
This information caused her to massively flip. She said I was salty because I was cut from the guest list, she now no longer has a flower girl, and I’m ruining a very special family picture she has in mind. She was going to have a family photo taken at my MIL’s grave with everyone in wedding attire. I mentioned that my husband wouldn’t even be in the picture because he wouldn’t be able to attend but she just kept blaming me.
I’m honestly starting to overthink this to where I’m feeling like an asshole and maybe I should find a way to get my daughter there.
So Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA So much not the asshole and she so much is the asshole that I worry that you have to ask this, as you seem to have gotten used to a high degree of assholeness from her. ###### |
Some years ago I was driving to work when I was struck by another vehicle who... let’s say the other driver (Jackass) should not have been driving at that time. I’ll always remember him laughing his fat ass off as the ambulance pulled away.
Long hospital stay, multiple surgeries, fired from my job, lots of unkind gossip; and my kids/husband/parents and I suffered.
I managed to claw my way into a good job now but went through a lot of shit first.
Although Jackass has never apologized to me, his pastor (my dad’s stepbrother’s wife’s nephew) reached out to me to express he’s “sorry” and “in a program”. He asked me not to proceed with the lawsuit as it’s not “Biblical”.
Their “church family” harassed and bullied me a ton over the years, to the point that law encirclement & my kids’ schools have had to get involved.
I just settled the lawsuit for max $$ though I have perm scars, PTSD, and physical limitations as a result of my injuries. There are people who refuse to be around me bc of being grossed out by my scars.
Pastor called me again, reiterated Jackass is sorry, and that for his “recovery” I am somehow obligated to forgive him in front of his very large congregation. I told Pastor to go fuck himself and have let everyone know that I’m afraid of Pastor and of Jackass.
Step-uncle (whom I’ve never liked) just called to ask me to reconsider - apparently MY calling the cops and filing the lawsuit has caused both Pastor and Jackass to have trouble at their jobs. Apparently Jackass wants to get his citizenship & Pastor wants to be a foster parent and claim my refusal to forgive blocks both.
Step-uncle’s family never ONCE reached out to see how my family and I were doing. But they organized a meal train and a free lawyer for Jackass.
I maintain that IDGAF, I never heard any compassion or remorse from Jackass or his church; why should I care about their ego now.
Who’s TA here? ###### | NTA so many times.
I'm very sorry for everything you had and have to go through. ###### |
A few days ago, a bunch of people had gotten nudes of my girlfriend. I hadn't found out about it until my friend had showed me that he had gotten one. Obviously, I confronted my girlfriend about this, who seemed pretty upset. Apparently she had been trying to send a picture to someone, misclicked, and accidentally sent the nude instead. The person she sent it to in question ended up sharing it with a bunch of people. At least, that was her reasoning for it.
Obviously, I got really angry. First of all, she needs to be more careful, and second of all, why does she even have nudes of herself on her phone?! She never sends me nudes so I feel like the only real explanation was that she was going to send nudes to other people anyway. Admittedly, I lost my cool a little, and I yelled at her and called her a cheater.
She didn't speak to me for two days, until I confronted her again. She told me that she was really upset that I was so angry over a small "mistake". I don't think my reaction was that unreasonable considering she did send nudes to other people but I'd like a second opinion. ###### | NTA so many people in the comments are turning this into a "you don't own her body she can take nudes of herself as much as she wants" "why aren't you mad at the guy who shared them" *when that clearly isn't the discussion here*. Your girlfriend should file a police report against the guy as it's definitely against the law to share someones naked pictures without their consent.
I find it very VERY suspicious that she accidentally sent a nude to someone, and even more suspicious that that person is a male, and even more suspicious that she didn't tell you right away.
It might be too late now but your first reaction when you found out should have been to tell her to show you the conversation with him. If the messages were flirty then it was obviously on purpose, if the messages were like memes or about work or whatever then maybe not. If she did it on accident then surely the first message after the nude would be something along the lines of “OH MY GOD, I’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO SEND THAT” **The fact that she didn't volunteer to show you her message history with this guy right after she found out you knew tells me she did it on purpose.**
I'm sorry bro but I'm pretty sure she did that shit, and you shouldn't be with someone like that. If you need to be sure then reach out to the guy she sent it to and ask him to screenshot the convo. I know it's fucked up because he's the only 100% established asshole here, but at least you could get some closure.
[EDIT] oh and everyone in this sub, keep this same gullible energy when the next boyfriend is caught sending dick pics to some girl and she exposes him. “babe i swear, it was an accident!!” ###### |
This happened a while ago but I’m still hearing about it in the family group chat.
Couple months ago my sister in law found out she was pregnant and her views on pregnancy and motherhood (as well as other things) are really strange, at least to me. For instance, the shape of a belly (mild) and how boys and girls should be raised (stereotypes all around). Then as her pregnancy progressed she made her views on birthing very clear: anyone who has a c-section is not fit to be a mother.
I was very confused because I was born via c-section and so was my oldest. I asked her why does she think so, she said that it was the easy way out and a mother should feel the pain for her baby, be one with the baby, and all that. My partner (their sibling) reminded her that I went through a c-section and SIL said, “well, my point still stands, doesn’t it? No offense (my name) but you are a bit absent in your oldest’s life. Is your career really that worth it?”
Me not being a stay at home mom has been a bit of a heated argument with this family for a while. My mil and a couple of the other sister/brother (it’s a big family) in laws haven’t been okay with it. My partner has no issue with it and either do some of the other in laws, and now she’s brought it up again!
So I told her the truth about her pregnancy: she doesn’t know who the father is. She keeps seeing her ex despite being with her current boyfriend of about 2 years. There’s not special about either one of them but she claims that she “just can’t quit him,” the other guy. Honestly wanted to barf.
She got super angry with me and threw a wooden spoon at me. She then stormed out and I got the brunt of it from the others. It’s still happening in the group chat and my father in law is asking if I could just apologize and get it over with since her due date is happening soon. I’m not that interested in apologizing but if you guys think I am I’ll do it. It’s much better to hear about it from a non family member ###### | NTA SIL deserves much worse imo. Since the family is pressuring you to apologise, are they also pressuring SIL to apologise? ###### |
My mom and I had a pretty rocky relationship while I was growing up, but the past 5 years or so has been great and we talk on the phone almost every day.
Yesterday at 4 I called her to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, and she was short with me from the beginning. I asked her how she was and she admitted she was sad that she spent all day waiting for me to call. I explained that I had been busy, and I was worried earlier when I had free time that she would be sleeping. I spent about 5 minutes trying to talk with her, but she just kept giving me one word answers or not responding at all. At the very end when I gave up and asked to speak to my dad, she gave me a sarcastic "Oh, of course you want to talk to dad."
I thought things would be okay with a little time, but late last night I realized that I never updated my relationship status on Facebook. I didn't make a big post. I just changed the status, and even though it's viewable to friends, it's not showing up on everyone's timeline so it has gotten minimal attention. We've been married for months (a small ceremony with just us, our pastor, and the couple that mentored us) and all our close family and friends already know, but it's news to old high school and college friends, for example.
I woke up this morning to multiple messages from my mom written in the middle of the night about how could I be so hurtful, why do I have time for Facebook but not her, why couldn't I send her a card or a gift or do something special for one day, why did Mother's Day have to be the day I made the big announcement, etc.. AITA? ###### | NTA shes being ridiculous and is having these lofty exectations. ###### |
I'm 18 years old, and when I tell people my parents are assholes they usually dismiss me as another spoiled bratty college student.
Except over the past two years I've come to realize how toxic they are.
They're the type that turns me into the black sheep of the family whenever I have a different opinion or value from them. They never talk it out, just fight about how childish I am and how they thought I was better than that (Example: My position on abortion).
They constantly use degrading actions and terms to try to get me to do what they want. I'm 167lbs (75kg) and 5'9" and they constantly call me a pig or say nobody would ever date me because they want me to get thinner. I exercise and I try to eat healthy, but once a month a girl wants a freaking chocolate bar and then if they see it it just turns into a 40 minute speech about how gross I am. It also frustrates me that they don't live up to what they preach.
I can never talk to them for more than 10 minutes without them starting a fight or criticizing me which is why I always stay locked in my room.
But here's the thing, financially they sacrificed so much for me. I'm aware that providing financial support doesn't mean that they're good parents, but they've fed me and given me decent life. My mother bought me a trip to Egypt last summer and it was great. My father paid for my braces for 5 years while he had a broken tooth all that time. But having a relationship with them is eating my mind away, specially since I lost my job and they use money as way to control me.
They don't care for themselves and choose to care for me and I don't want to dishonor all they've given me, but they've been one of the main reasond I've had intense panic attacks and developed Depersonalization Disorder. AITA for planning on moving far away from them and then cutting off contact completely? ###### | NTA shelter and food is what they signed up for when they chose to make you,they had to do that, don't let them verbally abuse you for that ###### |
I’m pregnant with my fourth baby. My older sister and her partner who aren’t pregnant yet (not trying yet either) but plan to fall pregnant at some point this yr asked me tonight if I have any baby names. I said not really yet, because I don’t want opinions. My sister jokingly said “yeh ok, you never tell me anything” so I reluctantly said “well I do have a boys name chosen, it’s Henry”
Straight away her fiancé said “no can’t have that one, that’s my dads name” his dad past a few yrs ago. I get it, that name means something to them but I don’t think that means he can tell me I can’t use it. I said “ well sorry it’s the only name we like”
I even said that they can both be Henry. My sister said “don’t worry I think she is having a girl anyway”
I have two boys already. I struggled badly to find names for them- my oldest wasn’t named for two weeks. This time I fell in love with the name Henry almost immediately. I will be finding out my NIPT results in a few days. I feel like I’m likely to have a boy more so than another girl as I have two boys.
After his comment I overheard them talking about it- made me feel so awkward and if I’m honest- pissed off! This is why I didn’t want to tell them names. I also should add that my little sister is also pregnant. She has found out she is having a girl and when she told my older sister that they are thinking they will call her Frankie. My older sister apparently said “oh that’s my name for a girl” she told my little sister that she could “have” the name.
WIBTA if I name my baby Henry? ###### | NTA she’s not even pregnant and they can’t guarantee it’s going to be a boy. Also, that’s very strange how this sister somehow has names picked out that both you and your little sister want to use.... ###### |
So my cousin and I(both 22F) are only 6 months apart and her birthday was in early March. A few days ago in the family group chat she sent her cashapp and asked for family to send their birthday gifts there. 1) once you then 18 in my family it’s very rare to get a birthday gift from everyone. 2) she’s 22 with a job and her birthday was almost 3 months ago. I didn’t respond and she messaged me privately asking why I haven’t sent her anything since I have cashapp. I told her I don’t get a birthday present from that side of the and don’t beg them for it way past my birthday. She then brought up the fact that I get an “extra gift” at Christmas from my uncle. Which yes is true but it’s not actually from him, it’s from my “dad” since my uncle was the one who inherited his estate after he passed. I didn’t respond and she replied that she KNOWS I have enough money to spare to send her a birthday gift. While yes I have received SOME of my inheritance my husband and I are about to close on a house and the money is going towards that and for furniture. I did not receive enough to just go around handing out money. I also know that any money she gets will be spent on drugs. She lives with her boyfriend and his family rent and bill free.
So AITA? I felt bad after it all went down but I feel like it was a low blow bringing up my dads money. ###### | NTA she’s honestly being greedy, asking months later is also petty as fuck. My uncle makes more money than the rest of our family but he gives regular gifts and I’m just grateful for anything I’d never pull a “I know you have cash give me some! You owe me for my birthday” ###### |
My friend "bought" my knock off apple pen for $20, she still hasn't given me the money for it yet. I never used the pen to draw as I thought I would when I bought it from eBay but I used the magnetic cap as a fidget type of stress reliever and really miss it. I have avoided giving her the charger till she pays me but my friend found a charger that works with it. I keep asking her to pay me and now she just keeps saying that I need to wait. If I don't get the money by the end of June will I be a bad person if I ask her mum to get her to give it back to me? Also I'm sorry if this sounds childish I just want to know if I'm in the right or wrong for it. ###### | NTA she’s a theif ###### |
I had no idea she was a single mother. Even still, her snide daily remarks in the office were getting on my nerves, so good riddance. For two years I rode a bicycle to my office. I'm talking full gear, spandex, elbow guards, helmet, just the works. After locking my bike I walk into my office, still in full bike gear, and change clothes in the men's bathroom. A forty nine year old woman with a rat-like swarthy face and cuntish demeanor never misses her morning opportunity to comment on my man buns, which I find enraging but it's impossible to avoid her wrath because her cubicle is adjacent to the hall in which the only men's bathrooms are located. The whole office hears her squawking but because I also have a man bun style of haircut, it was always ambiguous enough not to draw heat since NICE MAN BUNS could be referring to my hair because she also has a stupid foreign accent and a rather fat unshapely bottom herself. Well, since March we've been working remotely for obvious reasons, and she posted a snide comment in our Skype for Office group chat in a team meeting. She outlined that she misses my steaming man buns strutting around the office, still sweaty from my morning bike ride. I instantly sent a screenshot of her words along with the wink 😉 face to the HR department filing a sexual harassment claim, and she was gone from the group chat the next day and I couldn't look her up in the internal Microsoft Outlook company directory, and then someone told me she was terminated and can't find a job, and also that she's a single mother. Woops. Am I an asshole for getting this woman fired for commenting on my ass cheeks? ###### | NTA She’s a grown woman who needs to learn how to conduct herself in the workplace. You didn’t get her fired, she got herself fired. ###### |
For my birthday I wanted to have dinner just with the two of us, no other family members were invited.
So on the night he picks me up and on our way to dinner we get a call from her. She has been out drinking with a friend and wants a ride. She could have asked her friend for a ride home or easily gotten a taxi as it wouldn't have cost much. She then over speaker phone starts saying I was the one who told you to call her (me) and make plans. My dad goes yeah but I was planning on ringing her anyway. She then starts saying about her kids (all of which are adults) that they wouldn't do that to him. Which is false because her kids did that many times when they started dating because they didn't like my dad.
So we arrive to pick her up and I am sitting in the front seat. She opens up the door and tells me to sit in the back. Nothing else was said like happy birthday or even hello. I didn't want to start an argument so I just moved to the backseat.
She then complains about how she told her friend she was out with that she was doing dinner with us and of course she couldn't then ask for a ride home.
This was untrue as he had let her know that it would just be the two of us. Then she turns to me and is all like so what's so wrong with me coming out to dinner with you guys. I repeat that I just want to spend time with my dad as we don't get to see each other very often. She then repeats about her kids and that it is super hurtful that we wouldn't invite her.
On the rest of the drive to drop her off she continues to try guilt us into letting her come with us. Luckily my dad refuses and says that she is not coming.
For context they have been together 3 years and it is a very rocky relationship. Neither myself or my brother (both adults) get on that great with her. She tolerates me but will not even talk about my brother and hates it when my dad talks about him. ###### | NTA she's probably just jealous of your relationship with your dad. ###### |
I (15f) am getting tired of my sister (20) constantly stealing my stuff, mostly my art supplies. My supplies was a couple of pallets and paint brushes, I paid for all of these myself, I don’t have a job yet so it’s hard for me to buy new supplies so I use my supplies cautiously.
It started when I was using my paint supplies on a project that I had to finish. My sister was playing with my niece. I left to go to the bathroom and feed my cat and when I came back, she stole one of my pallets and excessively stacked paint all over it. She was also using my most delicate/expensive paint brushes. I quickly grabbed the paint brush away and I got pissed off and yelled at her for grabbing my stuff. She quickly tried to make me a bad person for “ruining her bonding time” with her niece (even though she was the one painting and not my niece).
I left to go clean up my brushes and when I came back, she started painting that same pallet on top of my project and let my niece use a sheet of paper to paint. This time, she took out her own box of paints and brushes. She used her own brushes for her and my niece, but continued to use my paints.
I took away my stuff and put them in my box and my sister tried to make me the bad person by saying that “niece just wanted paint” and “I wouldn’t let niece use my stuff”.
I would have gladly let them paint with my pallets if they just asked, but they didn’t
Note: my sister has her own money to be able to buy her own stuff and has 3x more supplies than I do. ###### | NTA She's perfectly allowed to share her own art supplies with anybody she wants. She does not get to claim yours are community property. ###### |
My (25M) girlfriend (25F) of a year and a half just moved into my apartment two or three weeks ago.
She usually orders takeout, but last night she decided she wanted to start cooking for herself.
I walk into the kitchen and see she has a piece of raw chicken in the sink, so I ask her not to do that since it'll get bacteria on the sink and anything else that goes in there. Instead of taking it out and using the bowl I sat next to her, she picks it up and turns on the faucet trying to wash it, as I saw my life flashing before my eyes, splashing water all over the place, and I say you're not supposed to wash chicken because it spreads bacteria, as she says "what bacteria?". She then takes one hand off of the chicken and uses it to turn off the faucet, the whole time I'm saying she could have gotten salmonella all over the sink/counter/faucet as she takes the chicken to my cutting board table I use to cut fruit, places the chicken down, and walks over to the fridge (without washing her hands), opens it with her still wet hand, as she starts rummaging through the fruit/vegi drawer. I tell her she's going to have to wash the handle now and any think else she touched because that could become a breeding ground for bacteria as she yells "stop pissing me off and just leave me alone, I guarantee you any chicken you've eating at a restaurant was made the same way ". So I did.
I went to the bedroom and an hour later I hear her eating and talking on facetime when she tells the person how "I went psycho over some f\*cking chicken", "followed her around telling her how to cook her own dinner" and how I "need a reality check".
I feel like ass for bringing it up since she was only trying to cook herself dinner, and I'm not generally a germaphobe, but this is just one of those things.
AITA/a germaphobe psycho who needs to chill? ###### | NTA She's going to get food poisoning or give it to both of you. ###### |
I have a tiny hole in my wall right above my bed. My girlfriend (17, im 18) absent-mindedly was scratching it and i jokingly said "haha don't scratch my wall off" thinking she'd stop. She didn't. She kept scratching it and i said something like "im serious please don't break my wall" as the hole was getting bigger. She kept on doing it though so I was a little upset because like ?? its my wall lol and i directly asked her to stop breaking it. Then she got defensive and completely shut me out and is now sulking on her phone. AITA?
edit: misspelled a word ###### | NTA she's an asshole who doesn't respect you or your home ###### |
My [18M] close friend [18F] is someone I have always found attractive (in addition to being fun to hangout with). I didn't think I had a chance with her and didn't want to ruin the friendship so I hadn't made any moves.
She sent me a picture of herself completely naked on snapchat captioned "I want you". I was stunned and super excited. I took a picture of myself naked. After the picture was taken but before I sent it, I saw she had sent another message to me. I sent the picture before reading the message.
The message said " Omg that was obviously meant for the girl I've been talking to". She then opened my picture. She then called me a pervert saying she didn't want to see that. She said its disrespectful. I explained I thought she wanted me but she said that picture was obviously not meant for me. Now she is mad and is "taking a step back" from the friendship. ###### | NTA she was the one that sent a completely unsolicited nude, you were under the impression from that that that's what you guys were doing ###### |
Alright, context before you guys hate me: my parents are quite wealthy but I (F24) left home when I was 17 because they didn't agree with my career/life choices and I worked a lot to support myself for a few years until they recently accepted my choices and started helping me as I went back to school to pursue my dream degree and only work part time. I still pay for most of my expenses because I have a nice job where I've been for three years but my parents now do give me a small sum of money to cover school expenses. I am aware that I am very privileged but the money my parents give me is only for school things only and everything else I pay with the money I earn myself.
Now, tonight we were at a house party and it was getting late (about 3am) and I decided I'd take a cab home because I was wearing a rather short dress and didn't feel safe walking home although it was only a 20 minute walk to my place. My friend said that I was a spoiled rich b\*tch because I could afford to take a cab home while she had to walk longer to her place.
It did piss me off because she doesn't work although I did already offer her to get a position at my job after she dropped out of university and now pretty much lives of social welfare.
So I told her that if she had a job, she could afford to take a cab home and she got really pissed. A few of our friends also thought I was really rude while some others said I was right but probably shouldn't have said that in front of everyone.
I felt that I was justified as she did try to embarrass me in front of everyone and is constantly criticizing how much money I spend on things every time we got out and complaining about how she can't do the same while she's not even trying to better her life. So, was I the asshole? ###### | NTA she was nasty to you first. Don't dish it if you can't take it. ###### |
My daughter (20F) started a diet a few weeks ago where she doesn’t eat after 7PM. I’ve read mixed things on this, but nothing dangerous. She is active, eats healthy on the regular. So, she’s not starving herself. So, I didn’t say anything on it.
Then she got into a fight with her dad yesterday. This whole “no one can leave the house” is great for relationships I tell you. She’s refused to talk to him or be in the same room as him for days. She took a nap today and woke up at like 6:30 PM. My husband was in the kitchen cooking. Now, I was not downstairs at the time but I guess he stayed in there for an hour cooking dinner. She could’ve easily gone in there and gotten something to eat for herself and gone back to her room (he was using the stove but the microwave and counter space was still available). My husband has also been cordial and trying to work out their fight. He also says he didn’t stay in the kitchen on purpose, he didn’t know she was refusing to go in there because he was. He was simply making dinner for himself, me and our youngest (my daughter never eats what we do, she always eats her own thing by her own choosing).
Anyway, my daughter comes upstairs around 8, whining that she’s “starving” and that it’s her dad’s fault she can’t eat. And how dare he be in the kitchen. I told her that she was being ridiculous. I said she could’ve gone in there while he was or if she really is that averse to him right now, for one night, she can eat after 7. It’s okay. She won’t fall apart. She said I don’t understand dieting. I said maybe not, but this diet sounds stupid if you can’t break it once so you don’t starve. She then got mad and I said she was being childish. She went to her room and hasn’t come out. She texted her little sister, who showed me and apparently I’m an asshole.
So Reddit, am I an asshole here? ###### | NTA she was just hangry. ###### |
This was years ago. I was a server and one of my fellow servers left his book with 100-ish dollars cash in it and forgot about it, pregnant server found it (in front of me) and decided to keep the cash and cut me in. Being friends with the server who left his book, i yanked his chain about "forgetting something" and eventually just told him what happened, and returned the money I had. I also told him about the entire situation. The pregnant server had apparently meant to keep her share for herself, and was promptly fired based on my testimony. I thought it was all in good fun, honestly. Had no intention to steal, was just messing with my friend. I definitely had no intention of having a coworker fired, but I think in some ways this is my fault. AITA? ###### | NTA she stole and there were consequences. You had nothing to do with it. Her pregnancy doesn’t make it your fault ###### |
A little background: I am the scapegoat of my family and it has lead to a lot of self hate and a I’ve been trying to unlearn a lot of it recently. A while ago I had a breakdown and confined in my sister that I always feel like people hate me, specially my family but also strangers and friends and we had a talk about it and I completely forgot we ever had that conversation. Today me and her had an argument about something completely unrelated and she said “well atleast I’m not hated by literally everyone around me” and I instantly felt horrible, not only because this is something that I struggle with so much but also because I trusted her and told her my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in front of the rest of my family (who didn’t disagree lolol), we live in the same house unfortunately but I’ve been avoiding her, we haven’t spoken in maybe a week, she tried talking to me today by asking to watch a movie and I told her I don’t feel comfortable hanging out with her, am I the asshole for wanting to completely isolate myself from her after this incident?
TLDR: told my sister my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in an unrelated argument ###### | Nta she picked the sharpest knife to stab you with. You will struggle to ever be able to open up to her again. ###### |
I'm going on a six month deployment with the military and will be exiting my current lease with roommates. This is something I have been planning so I can save money while I am away and have storage figured out with my family for the items I will be keeping.
​
My girlfriend has been having worries about her roommate moving out as she only comes home maybe once a week. The roommate has been staying at her boyfriends house and only comes home when my girlfriend works a night shift. She has also been pressuring her boyfriend for marriage. This has led her to believe marriage may be soon and the roommate will move out.
​
When I return I would like to have as much money saved as possible and purchase a home. Recently my girlfriend asked what I would do if her roommate moved out. This question caught me off guard and I asked what she meant. The gist of it is that she is unwilling to get another roommate, but would like to stay there by herself. She can't afford rent on her own and asked for me to help pay. The logic is that I will no longer be paying rent so I can help her out.
​
Before I leave I had asked if I could stay at her house for about 3 weeks before my orders begin. Both her and her roommate are fine with this although it will be tight. During this period I've said I would pay my share and contribute any way I could. They both shrugged it off at the time and didn't seem concerned.
​
We've been together 3 years with a breakup after the first year. She is amazing and I would like to help her if possible. If it comes down to it and she can't afford rent then I wouldn't let her go homeless. She has a large savings fund, has the ability to move, and could find another roommate for six months while I'm gone.
​
I think it's unreasonable for her to not make an effort and expect me to pay but AITA? ###### | NTA she needs to work this out herself and live within her means.
Her expecting you to bail her out when there are realistic other options is a red flag and something you should consider moving forward.
Good luck on your deployment. ###### |
So hi Reddit, I already people are gonna hate on me for this and yeah but let's just get to the backstory of the story (and yes I'm on a throwaway).
So I'm 15 and ESS (entitled step-sister) is 10, ESM (Entitled stepmom).
So my little sister loves playing basketball and I was visiting my dad the other day (they live close by, not too far). My little sister has such an attitude that all the other entitled children would cower in fear when she gets to them, she expects everything to be done for her and ONLY for her, she loves making snarky and harsh comments but hates constructive criticisms and hates losing.
That's Where I come in, see in a fat tall kid, not that fit, but I'm tall enough to where I can hold the ball high enough so she cant get it, whenever we play basketball I let her win because I don't wanna deal with a brat crying and ESM raging at me after. So during the visit my ESS wanted to play basketball and gave the usual " I'm gonna beat you so bad you're gonna cry and cry" and me not dealing with this stuff anymore said "sure" with a smirk on my face. we usually go to 20 points (10 baskets) but today I wanted to finally win so I said " I'll do 20 to win and you do 10 baskets okay?" and she lit up thinking she could win again.
Long story short I beat her 40-2
She ran inside and started to cry and ESM came outside and yelled at me until I just told her to shut up and told my dad what really happened, he was on my side but my ESM says that I'm an asshole
​
So Reddit AITA ###### | NTA she needs to learn ###### |
I (18F) live with my mom, dad, eldest sister(26F), her husband (23M) and their three little girls(9,7,1) I have spinal problems due to a stair incident in 7th grade. Blah blah blah pandemic keeps me from doctors blah blah losing mobility in hips down blah blah need cane and constant medication to walk normally. I’m upstairs doing my coursework and my cane is hanging on the chair next to me. My sister comes up to feed the baby and moves my cane. Which usually is, like, whatever, i move it to my lap or on the back of my chair. But this time she moves it a few feet out of reach near the kitchen counter. Still whatever, I just point out that I can’t reach my cane from there and she says ‘well it’s not like your going anywhere anyways’ which, rude, but fair enough I’m working at that moment so it’s whatever. I pause my work and play with the baby. I help feed her, everything is fine, I’m getting tired and my sister takes the baby when she’s done eating. She’s in the kitchen and I need to get up so I can go and rest but my cane’s too far. My sisters husband comes upstairs with a sippy cup and before he passes me I ask ‘Hey (HISNAME), can you pass me my cane? (SISTER) put it too far’. Cue sister getting huffy and her husband rolling eyes asking how I could be blaming her. I’m tired, I just want to nap. He hands me my cane I bid them adieu and leave to take my nap. Sister is offended by this whole interaction. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA She moved it out of reach and got mad at you for pointing it out? Makes no sense. ###### |
So, my mum called me and asked me if I wanted to have some Sparkling/fizzy water from the supermarket. I’d have to go with her since her arm is injured and she isn’t strong enough to carry a sixpack. I told her I’m fine and I don’t need any. She said ok, and then came home from work in a fussy mood. I asked her if she’s ok and she said how she wanted fizzy water. She hardly ever drinks it. I told her that if SHE wanted some, she should have told me since I would have gone to the shop with her to get some. I go to my room, and my mum is still upset. I go to her room like an hour later and ask if everything’s ok. She says “I’m thirsty” , while theres a massive glass of water next to her. I point it out to her. She proceeds to say “it’s not the same”. I again tell her how, if SHE wanted sparkling water, she should just tell me up front “ I would also like some sparkling water” and I’d happily go to the shop with her. Now she is acting like I’m an AH. AITA? ###### | NTA she is being passive aggressive, ignore her.
She is an adult and can express what she wants when she wants it, it she doesn’t too bad. ###### |
My wife and I have been married for 3 years, together for 5. She is currently 20 weeks pregnant with our first child and we have been excited.
My MIL and wife have been always been close, MIL raised my wife as a single mom. MIL was also raised by a single mom. MIL actually didn’t tell my wife’s dad that she existed and to this day, he doesn’t know. My wife has no interest in knowing her dad so she says it’s just not a huge deal. I respect her wishes, but it has lead to issues with the pregnancy. MIL and I had a decent relationship until my wife got pregnant. Even before she got pregnant, MIL would always say, “When (wife) gets pregnant, if you leave, I will be there for her.” And since we told her, it’s been a reoccurring theme. It has been made clear by MIL if I can’t take it and leave her daughter, she will take my place and parent my child. I have no plans on leaving my wife or my child.
And really, the whole thing has driven me crazy. My wife has said “I know you’re not leaving” but she says her mom feels that they know best with pregnancy and child rearing. I am worried about being pushed out of this child’s life and that it’s a wish of MIL that I will just up and leave, so she can swoop in and be the child’s dad. I have told MIL I’ll never leave but she says “you don’t know how hard it’ll be”.
Recently, we were on Zoom and MIL said something to the effect of her being the dad if I left. I told her no, I’m not and she needs to cut it out. She said, I won’t get how hard it is until the baby’s born, etc, etc. I said “yes and that’s just what you want, for your daughter to be abandoned and sad, that’s pretty sadistic.” This offended MIL and apparently my wife too. Apparently I don’t understand that MIL has abandonment issues because her dad left her. I said I sympathize but she cut one man out of knowing his kid (my wife’s dad and her) and now is doing the same. They are painting me as the devil here.
Am I being the asshole? ###### | NTA she is assuming that you are leaving, if this is a recurring pattern. And this is not okay. It undemines your and your wifes thinking. And it doenst matter if she is doing that on purpose or not.
Also what is when the child is born and she will constantly tells the child that she will be there if you are not. Maybe she will go so far to blame you for everything you do wrong with the child. A lot of potential for future drama here ###### |
This is my first time ever asking my mom (or anyone) to babysit. on Friday I asked my mom to watch my 4month old daughter for 2 hours on Saturday so me and hubby could get yard work done, she agreed then an hour later called to inform me she was going for a day trip Saturday with her friend and if the trip didn’t go through she could baby sit for me. Alright I was a little annoyed but left it at that. Saturday evening I talked to her and found out she didn’t actually go but also decided to not babysit. She told me she would come over in the morning, this morning she called to tell me that she was out at her friends until 3am and that she was too tired to babysit so she would come over next Weekend. I told her it’s fine and that Ill just look for someone else to watch her next time. She called me crying ”how could I do that to her” I’m actually pissEd. AITA for not wanting to ask her to babysit again? ###### | NTA She is a liar. You cannot count on her. ###### |
Ok so backstory here
I live with my friend in his house and rent from him, due to lots of previous personal experiences his ex dosen't like me, one bit, she despises me. He and his ex are kinda friends, they hang out every once in awhile while I'm at work. I don't really care, I don't talk to her, I don't associate with her. She is literally insane, broke down when she saw my fish in the living room, insisted I don't belong in the house, etc. My friend had to defend me. She has stalked my social media for months and put together a whole notebook of my posts, she has gone around spreading lies and rumors about me and cost me a lot of close relationships and loved ones who turned on me. I've gotten over all of this through much pain and forgiveness.
So I log onto my switch me and my friend both split half and half, we each paid half for it. I see a new profile with her name. I think "ok whatever", I go to log onto animal crossing to play with my friend for a bit. I see a random new tent, I think it's a new little resident at first. My friend points out it has a mailbox and is pink on the map. I read the username. Its my friends ex who has now set up her tent on my animal crossing island. Neither of them asked me, I bought that game 100% myself.
So I deleted her account off the switch and from my ac game. AITA? I don't want her in my life, I don't want to see her, talk to her or hear about her. My friend can hang out with her if he chooses, it's his life. But I don't need her in mine. ###### | NTA she hates you but is happy to use your things? Also it takes like 1 hour to upgrade from the tent so it's not like you ruined a lot of progress ###### |
Well, this is a long one, but I'll try to make it short. I and my family are dog breeders ( Akita inu) and because of this, we have met many people, who do the same thing or just loves animals all together.
My parents have been doing this for 25+ years, and have made plenty of friends, but one always stuck out. My mom has known her for around 10 years or so. I'll call her friend E.
E is a proper hippie (antivaxx, 5g will kill you , you get the deal) she lives in a huge farm , without running water or electricity ( she willingly chose this)
At first she had 6 akitas, they were all healthy and beautiful, but as the time went on she started to rescue animals. She was telling everyone who was listening how good she is to them, how she uses better methods with them than everyone else and how we should learn from her.
She adopted two parrots from an old lady, they were killed by her cat.
She adopted 10+ stray dogs, who are fighting constantly
She adopted a baby deer, because it was sick, and needed feeding, she left her in the garden and THE DOGS ATE the poor thing.
She had 3 litters despite knowing there was parvo virus in her land and around 20+ puppies died.
The list is endless, you probably get the deal.
Well, today she called us crying, that she forgot to lock her front gate, one of her older akitas, who she loved dearly ran away, and was hit by a car, she died. And I lost it.
I raised my voice tbh. at her , how she is the worst of all pet owners I've ever known in my life, and more animals have died by her hand, than she has saved.
Well, she started crying even more and hung up. My parents want me to apologize to het, but to be honest I feel like I was telling the truth.
So Reddit, was I the asshole here and should I apologize? ###### | NTA she has an animal hoarding problem, you need to call someone to save what's left of those poor animals. She will just keep collecting animals and they'll keep dying in her care. ###### |
Before covid, still a problem.
My daughter (15F) barely misses school, she always goes. She's barely sick, she's very healthy, and she has excellent grades so I'm very lenient and free on whatever she does, and me and her go to the movies a lot when the report cards come out as celebration.
Anyway my husband works and he comes home at night sometines, sometimes early.
When I woke up my daughter that day , she said that she had this big headache and couldn't go. She's never made an excuse like that, and sometimes she has a runny nose or a small headache she still goes so I assumed this was bigger and let her stay home.
We had fun that day, watched movies etc.and after 3 hours she become better. My husband came early and freaked out and asked me why she was here that early, and said that just because she had a headache doesn't mean she can miss out on education and that she probably exaggerated the headache yada, yada.
Then he said that she doesn't get a free pass and we got into a small fight which was later resolved.
Aita? ###### | NTA She had a headache. And even if she was exaggerating, what’s the problem if she hardly misses school? Honestly sometimes I let mine stay home just because they don’t feel going to school that day. Kids need a break sometimes. ###### |
So my younger sister (19) got engaged to her boyfriend on February 20th. This came as a shock to my whole family because they were only dating about two weeks. That event alone caused a lot of drama and my sister was very upset about the lack of support and excitement. I tried being there for her and gave her a gentle nudge to maybe have a long engagement. Now just last week my (24f) boyfriend (25m) of three years proposed. We waited until last night to tell all of our family members over FaceTime and oh man did shit hit the fan. My sister was livid and accused me of trying to take the spotlight away from her. She claimed her boyfriend obviously loved her more since he proposed before mine and that I was just jealous. She was also pissed at my family for being more supportive of my engagement and was posting all over social media about having toxic family. I guess I didn’t really think about how close our announcements were so I can kind of see her point but I wasn’t thinking how she thinks I was. My fiancé and I have been talking about marriage for a year now and apparently he’s had the ring for months.
AITA? Or maybe just insensitive? ###### | NTA she got engaged a month and a half ago. Thats more than enough time to have passed to announce your engagement
Your family isn’t supportive of her relationship because its dumb to get engaged after two weeks together. ###### |
I've (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (23M) for 3 years. She is Muslim, and I am from a Hindu household, but I do not really practice my religion at all. I haven't seen her practice her religion too much, but who am I to ask her about her spirituality but one thing she definitely does abide by is not eating pork. I'm pretty respectful about ordering pork when I'm eating with my girlfriend. Normally is we are eating out, we will always get dishes with no pork, or ask to remove any pork products from our meals. Even if I eat pork when I'm not with her, I will brush my teeth before we hang out (she does know I eat pork when I'm not with her). I'm not super into pork so it's not often and really isn't a big deal for me. However, I do love pepperoni on my pizza. But, if I am eating pizza with her we will not order pepperoni. Recently, we went to MOD pizza where you can customize your pizza with unlimited toppings. We had 2 buy-one-get-one-free coupons, and I suggested we get two pizza each and have a bunch of leftover pizza for the next couple days. She customized two for herself, and I customized two for myself. On one-half of one of my pizzas, I got pepperoni because it's one of my favorite toppings thinking I can eat that half of the pizza when I'm just at home by myself. During dinner, she seemed really off so I asked her what was going on, and she starting calling me an AH for ordering pepperoni while I'm with her. Now she is giving me the cold shoulder and telling me I need to apologize for not respecting her.
AITH for ordering pepperoni on my personal pizza? ###### | NTA she gets to dictate what she eats, not what you eat. You seem very respectful, but she doesn't. Why does it matter if your the one eating it? She should respect your right to make decisions for yourself, just as you have done for her. Also it isn't like you tried to get her to eat it! ###### |
This is a bit of a complicated one I think, but I will accept my judgment.
I love and have always had cats, and I recently got engaged to a wonderful man. We've lived with a roommate who had a cat for a while and my fiance encouraged me to leave when the situation got toxic, telling me we could get a cat when we moved.
We're in the final stages of adopting a cat and his father is upset with us because his older sister is extremely allergic to cats and has a history of allergies and asthma attacks.
She does, however, also have a history of lying about allergic reactions as an excuse to get out of social situations (and lies quite often about her health to get out of other things), so we're not sure how bad her allergies really are.
I guess we're just wondering if it would be wrong to bring an cat into our own home if we take steps to avoid it? We're extremely conflicted. We're not opposed to showering and washing our clothes before seeing her, but she would be extremely offended if we brought cats into our home. She's allergic to most animals so we'd struggle to adopt a dog or bird either..
Idk. Please pass your judgment :(this is hard ###### | NTA she doesnt live with you, adopt a kitty :) ###### |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.