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I’ve lived in this neighborhood for ages now, and we have this cat who wanders around. Thing is, I know that it’s not lost and I know exactly who the cat’s owners are. Almost every day at the same time, when I get off the bus and walk to my house, the cat is waiting there for me and I give it a good scratch and let her snuggle against my feet before I go inside. Sometimes she follows and sometimes show doesn’t. Anyways my gf has become pretty endeared to this feline and has tried to feed it. Idk if it’s the right thing to do to feed it or not, I was always raised not to feed other people’s pets so I’ve stopped her from doing that.
It’s now gotten to the point where my gf is seriously in love with the rascall, even asking me if we should just say fuck it and keep the cat for ourselves and I laughed it off because I thought she was joking. Narrator: *she wasn’t joking*. Next time I saw the cat she had a different collar on and my girlfriend had went out and gotten a collar for “our cat”. I told her to stop being ridiculous as it’s not our cat and she argued that she spends a lot of her time here so she might as well be. I said that’s not our decision to make and told her to put the collar back on the cat and she refused and said she’d already thrown it away. I had to dig through the garbage and get it back and give it a good washing before I exchanged the collar again. Now she’s mad at me because she thinks I’m being controlling but it’s not our goddamn cat. ###### | NTA It's not your cat, no matter how much she wants it to be. If she's that serious about it, she needs to go talk to the owners. My ex had an indoor/outdoor cat, and would be devastated if someone stole him like that. ###### |
I'm 18 and was in the kitchen making a tuna fish sandwich. I was spreading tuna but doing it slowly because I was lost in thought. The sandwich was for myself. My dad came in hovering over me. He started lecturing me on how to spread it faster. I said I don't need help. He started sarcastically ranting about "wooow you know how to make a sandwich at 18". He started trying to show me how to spread it faster and I said I don't want help. He got really mad and was yelling about how its his job to show me the right way and I'm disrespecting him. I yelled to leave me alone and he got super angry at me. ###### | NTA it's his job to let you spread some fucking tuna ###### |
My grandmother was always very sick, and I was the only one who took care of her. Tbh I’m a medical student so it was easier for me to know what she needed, even if I was just cooking her food or massaging her. I have 9 uncles but she decided a few days ago to change her testimony and to give me everything, including her big house. My parents found that to be unfair and my uncles keep pressuring me to tell her to change her mind, but she keep telling them that since I was the only one who took care of her, then she wants to give me everything, tbh it’s a big amount of money, but I am afraid that my uncles will hate me, and they even started to gossip that I always knew about her plan, while I didn’t! I know that this money can be beneficial for me and for my student loans but I am afraid that it will split our family, cause I know that my uncles might need that money as much as me. Does it truly makes me an asshole if I accept take everything? ###### | NTA it's her choice and honestly they seem like douchebags for being mad she is giving it to the person who's helping her ###### |
AITA for cutting off a decade long friendship. I was friends with this guy (“F”) since 9th grade. He was my first high school love because he was such a nice guy even though we never kissed or anything, it took years to get over him. He moved away and I transferred for junior year to another high school but we still kept in touch. I always looked up to him as a nice guy and always told him he’ll find a good woman someday. We used to do this 4-way on the phone with this friend and his girl. The friend (“P”) is in one of the northern states.
Fast forward to now, I’m now 27 and I was jogging and he called. I answered and he was doing a 3-way with P. P has moved to FL. After the convo he says if he can give P my number, I’m hesitant but I say okay, seeing it would be awkward to say no while the guy is on the line. P text me about how’s I’ve been and how I look like now. I wasn’t too sure where he was going but we exchanged a few text and that’s it.
So a few days later, F calls me and tells me, “P was asking me if he had a chance to hook up with you, I told him take his chances.” I felt so disrespected. 1. Lack of respect for me because I never told him I’m searching for someone to hook up with and 2. I had a bf and I felt he was so disrespectful to him and my relationship. I definitely didn’t hold back she gave him a piece of my mind and told him that we are no longer friends.
Now he constantly calls and when I finally picked up, he said I’m in the wrong because he apologized. I’ll never get over it and I’m not even a little bit interested in being friends with him again.
Reddit wise ones, AITA? ###### | NTA it's clear he never saw you as friend only as girl to hook up his friends with. ###### |
First some back story... my sister and I have never been close. I’m a bit older than her but because of life I still love at home with our parents and 2 years ago she moved to the other side of the country with her bf. Because we were never close and now she lives so far are basically just acquaintances at this point. When she does text me most the time she’s being snobby and the few times she’s been home we’ve gotten in huge fights because of her toxic behavior.
Recently I’ve over heard convos she’s had with my mom and she is planning her wedding (she’s not engaged yet but has said they are looking at places and he will propose soon but knowing my sister she is the one pushing the want to get married soon). One of the times they were FaceTime she saw me in the background and told me “One of the dates I’m looking at is your birthday”. Every year since I turned 18 I’ve gone on vacation for my birthday she obviously knows this so I told her “if you do I might not be able to come”. She got mad and my mother told me I’m being selfish and even if she plans her wedding on my birthday I better come. It became a huge fight and she doesn’t even have a date set yet.
Also about my vacation... it is the one time of year I get away. I work 32-40 hours a week on top of taking care of my grandparents. Taking them to the doctor, taking them shopping... etc. and where my sister lives isn’t a place I’d want to vacation.
So am I the asshole for telling her that/ would I be the asshole if it is on my birthday and I don’t go? ###### | NTA it would be petty, deliberate and inconsiderate for her to choose your birthday as her wedding date. That just guarantees that her future anniversaries will take attention away from your bday, as well as the big day causing problems for you this year. What an AH move. ###### |
So a few months ago my Gf had to get a skin lesion cut out. Just removing an infection about the size of a dime then stitching it back up. She asked me about a week before if I would go with her. I told her I don’t think so because I had just started my last semester of college and had class at the time. She said okay, but a few days later made me feel bad for not volunteering to go with her, so I made arrangements to skip class.
Till this day she still shames me for being selfish saying that the fact that I initially didn’t want to skip class is a reflection of my bad character.
AITA ?? ###### | NTA it was a very minor operation, and she really shouldn’t be guilting you over this AT ALL. ###### |
My husband surprised me with a Switch Lite and Animal Crossing. My 11 year old wants to play it also. So I told him I will share it. The first time I played it he hovered over me repeating could he play it. My husband told me to just let him play.
So I did. He has been playing it for the last three days. I asked for it and he said he is busy trying to earn bells. My husband told me to let him play it because he is deep in the game and act like an adult. So I asked my husband to buy him his own game. He said one is enough. He said I can play when he is done and stop being sad over a kids game. Am I the asshole for being sad and mad about not play a silly game ###### | NTA it was a gift for you not your child
However the way you've told the story makes it sound like you are both the children asking dad for time on the game. You are the parent and you need to explain to your child that the game is not his, and set reasonable time restrictions ###### |
I (29f) am pregnant with my first child and due to give birth in November. My BIL and his fiancée have planned to have a wedding during this time (roughly 2 weeks after my due date) and I’m super excited for them!
However they have huge plans in place, with over 100 guests. The argument started when each family member was assigned a certain wedding task. Mine was to ensure the guests walked out with their ‘thank-you’ gifts (which is to be segregated by age & gender). This would involve initiating small talks and bidding adieus to guests, coordinating with the gifting committee etc. I said that there is no way I would be able to do this after giving birth only 2 weeks earlier and this sounded ridiculous. I offered to do the excel work- sorting names, addresses and gifts but this idea was also shot down. In a short while, the argument took another direction and my in-laws went off saying that I’m being an impossible woman and exaggerating my pregnancy woes and that there are thousands of women who give birth everyday and go to work right after and this is an excuse to disrespect the family. I said I won’t be attending the wedding if that’s what they think of me. Honestly, I don’t even know how my body would react 2 weeks after giving birth and I’m worried it’s all about the wedding now and not about my health or the child’s. My husband took their side too and I’ve had it with this family!
AITA for not wanting to attend this wedding although I love my BIL and his fiancée? ###### | NTA It took 4 weeks for me to make enough of a recovery to do any real tasks other than look after our daughter. It took 6 months to make a full recovery.
I was out of hospital 12 hours after she was born and made the stupid decision to have my family come over to see the baby 4 days later. I could hardly walk.
You may be one of the lucky ones who makes a quick recovery however I don't think you wrong here.
You will be exhausted beyond anything you've every felt before and I doubt you'll be in any condition physically or mentally to perform even this simple task.
What if like my daughter, your baby decides to hang in there (my daughter was born a week after she was due) then what?
Your husband and his family need to back off, you've offered an alternative and they dismissed you and your feelings. Seems a little self absorbed and judgemental to me. ###### |
So for context I had to wake up at damn 8 for online school which sucked ass but had to wake up. I struggled to wake up but finally got up at 7.52.
I got out of my room and went to the kitchen and got a banana quickly before the lesson. I noticed that my (37/39) parents’ door was open on the way to the kitchen but I didn’t look insude because that’s an asshole move.
Well when I had gotten the banana and was walking back I couod hear that they were banging. The creaking and heavy breathing made it 100% clear.
I know it’s a bit weird to not just igbore it but it’s also weird to have sex with the door open in the morning when everyone is waking up. I asked them ”What the fuck are you guys doing? It’s not OK to have sex with the door open when everyone is gonna walk by!” My dad told me to just mind my own business and go back to my room.
I did what he said because I was not gonna argue while they were banging so I just thought whatever. Now I’m attending the lesson while writing this. ###### | NTA it sucks to be a parent on occasion, and this is one of them. They should shut the door, it doesn't take that much effort ###### |
So I'm actually torn about this one. I've been dating Mae for two years, and I'm very close to proposing. She's just amazing but blended families always suck. I have a 10 year old daughter and an 8 year old son who she really makes an effort with. My son is much more receptive then my daughter. She was more effected by the divorce and both kids have been in therapy for it. I'd say for the most part my son likes Mae though he has moments of getting upset that she isn't his mom. She doesn't try to parent them, but he still lashes out sometimes and my daughter doesn't like her very much.
Anyway she put some body lotion on before bed and I guess the kids put itching powder in it. They didn't do the best job because I found the empty packet in the trash. Now it's not the end of the world. I have a little bit of an issue because I don't think it was completely done out of fun, but I asked her how she felt and what she wanted me to do. She was pretty understanding and didn't want me to punish them, but she said we should prank them back so I switched out the sunscreen and the lotion and let the kids use it the next day.
We laughed at them a little, but we weren't assholes about it. I explained that they don't get to be mad because they did the same thing to her. My son apologized. My daughter didn't, but since we pranked them back I didn't push it. Anyway I got an irate call from my ex after they went home and she said my daughter was crying and that we are "bullying" the kids. So AITA? ###### | NTA it sounds like your kids learned the age old lesson of what goes around comes around, and it was better than other forms of punishment you could have done. ###### |
Me (19f) and my sister (21f) haven’t gotten along since we were very young, as when she turned 11 she developed an anxiety disorder and couldn’t go to school. She refused to talk to anyone much less me. She got a therapist and started going back to school, but became rude, spoiled and downright abusive at times to my parents due to them not disciplining har as they were afraid this would trigger her anxiety. This means she is extremely messy, insists on eating in her room and not taking her plates down until they get mouldy, and would occasionally throw objects at people if she got angry.
I also have issues with her as she refused to let me see a therapist (even if they were completely different to hers) until she stopped seeing her therapist. This happened when I was around 16 when I was almost immediately diagnosed with clinical depression, and had to be hospitalised at one point. I have no way of knowing if seeing a therapist earlier would have stopped this, however I had known that mentally something was wrong before this, and it has caused feelings of resentment.
Now both me and my sister are going to College and my family want us to share an apartment that they would be willing to pay for. I refused and said that I would pay for my own apartment. My sister started calling me a selfish AH because of this, and my parents didn’t back me up.
AITA? ###### | NTA It sounds like you really need to get away from your sister and your parents for the sake of your mental health. I wish you all the best at university, it's a great experience, join lots of clubs and meet lots of new people, your world will expand so much. ###### |
OK, here I go. It might be long. My wife and I have been together for 15 years, married for 5, and had our first kid 4 years ago. She's pregnant with our third. Shortly after our first kid's birth, she had a burnout, and I effectively became the sole source of income for our family. She has recently made plans to return to work in a complete different career. I'm self-employed (woodworker), and so would she (parental counseling). Now today, she tells me that with everything going on, she's thinking of home-schooling the kids. At first, I'm thinking, sure why not? She has a background in education, was a teacher, has a Master in developmental psychology. So, hey, what the hell.
Now, this is where things went awry. I asked her:
'What about your career plans?'
'Oh, I was thinking you could Monday-Wednesday, leave home early and take care of the kids from 6pm so I can take care of my clients/customers/patients (I have no idea what to call them). Then, Thursday and Friday, you'd work mornings only, and I could use those afternoons as well.'
So we got in a fight. I feel she's pressuring me into doing this her way, and leave a job I like (however physically demanding) and I make OK money with, for a dream of a perfect life she has for herself. All the while the kids are enrolled in a private Montessori school I'm paying for and am perfectly satisfied with.
I told her so. But she says success isn't only measured in hours worked. Sure, but it does pay for everything right now. And I'm afraid it won't be enough if things go her way.
So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to keep things going as they are? ###### | NTA it sounds like she wants you to give up your career or at least cut it back alot so she can both home school the kids and have a full time career herself? Am
I reading that right?
Because that’s extremely unreasonable of her. You’re willing to support her pursuing a new career path or homeschooling your children. Doing both isn’t feasible and expecting you to give up your career so she can do both isn’t fair ###### |
Sounds weird, I know. So this happened a few years ago but it gets brought up once in a while. My wife and I (28 M) were having some financial difficulties. We had a bill due and didn't have the money to pay for it. We were getting a check on the following Monday and didn't want to accrue any late fees or get a ding on our credit.
My sister (20 F) was regularly talking about having extra income, buying stuff. Basically I knew she was fine in the money department. I asked her if we could borrow $50 until Monday. It was Friday when I asked. Her response was "What's in it for me?"
I got really pissed off. I had explained to her the situation and that was her response. I told her to forget it and walked out.
Fast forward about a month. My wife and I were going to the grocery store, my sister asked if she could tag along. Yeah, sure. (We both lived in my mom's house at the time.) She said she didn't need anything, just wanted to hang out.
As we're shopping she kept seeing things she wanted and grabbing them. Pretty soon her arms were pretty full. She asked if she could put them in the shopping cart. Normally I'd have said yeah, but I was still a little pissed about the money thing so I said "Whats in it for me?".
She turned bright red and stormed off. Came back with her own cart and refused to talk to me the rest of the day.
My wife said I was being petty and an ass. I know it was petty, but I was trying to show her how it felt to have someone say that.
So AITA? ###### | NTA it must have taken a lot of courage and swallowing of pride to approach your sister to borrow money and she should have realised that, for her to respond the way she did was an asshole move.
Fast forward and you were right to bring it back up, petty maybe but must have felt good. ###### |
My parents pay for my undergraduate degree and also pay for my brother’s masters. He graduated from his undergraduate 4 years ago, and I’m finishing mine this year, I literally am just missing one more period and I finish my classes. I really want to finish my undergraduate and have my graduation with my friends.
COVID-19 has had an economic impact on my family, fortunately we have everything we need, but it has come to the point where my parents believe they cannot have us both enrolled in university, just one of us. Either way, one of us would have to pause their studies so the other can continue. He wants to continue even though he’s not close to finishing his studies yet and he already has his undergraduate degree. I want to continue because I’m so close to finishing, i just have one more period to go and I’m done.
So, am I the asshole?? ###### | NTA it makes way more sense for you to finish your Bachelor’s next semester while he works, and then switch off after you graduate. ###### |
Hello all, first time poster. Today (well, yesterday 33 minutes ago) was my 29th birthday and my girlfriend of 4 years raised a point I honestly hadn't considered until now. When I was 3, my mother and father divorced and split custody until I was 18, with them both being remarried when I was in 3rd and 5th grade respectively. My dad has since passed on (2010) at 58 and my stepmother remarried again, so my mother and stepfather are the extent of my family (no siblings, distant extended family, all grandparents deceased). Anyhow, when I was 8, my mother and stepfather got remarried and I treated the whole process as normal until I actually started developing a little emotional intelligence and had someone who I trust ask how I felt about it. As a kid and young adult, I was very much a people pleaser and more or less assumed it was just something it was my responsibility to accept. As an adult of 29, it was a little irritating to see my stepfather post endless pictures of his anniversary celebration and I haven't heard from him yet. I know I shouldn't care but it's particularly irritating because I make a point of calling him on his birthday AND father's day every year, in contrast to several years where his own kids from his previous marriage (3, early 40s to late 30s) forgot. Anyhow, I appreciate any input as I process this for the first time in my life. ###### | NTA it is weird af to choose your child’s birthday to remarry... what is wrong with the other 364 days in the year? ###### |
I live by a strict...rule(?) of confidentiality. You tell me something and tell me not to tell anyone I will take it to my grave. I expect the same thing back in any of my relationships with people. Obviously its discussed and the trust is built and what not. If I hear back something I have shared with you from someone else, I don't care how long we've been friends. I'll drop you as a friend. I'm loving, caring, and supporting to my friends, heck to random strangers on the internet on a daily. But that's the one thing that matters more to me than anything. I'm an over sharer, and I excitedly tell people things about myself, often followed by a want of things to be kept between us. I'm told this comes to get me quite often, but it's only to those I truly feel like I can tell.
As you might've assumed I no longer want to be friends with a close friend of mine, and my family isn't supportive of it because their "so good for me" and I "would be crazy" and a "asshole to let go of the friendship". The person told three other people of a big secret I was so scared to tell them, I don't understand why and when asked they said they didnt either. It just doesn't quite make sense to me to continue the friendship, if you could easily slip something like that without feeling bad then I shouldn't feel bad about removing you from my life. My family wants me to rekindle this, but I can't. A secret like that is purposely told. It doesn't slip out of your mouth.
Personally I don't think I'm an asshole at all, reddit? ###### | NTA It is totally up to you who you're friends with. In the future though, it'd probably be good to change from following secrets with an "oh keep that secret please" to beginning with "can I tell you something in confidence?" Just, give people an out to say they don't want to hold your secrets and you'll save everybody some heartbreak ###### |
I’ve been with my girlfriend coming up to 1 year now. Her best friend has been having a 3 month affair with a married man. She knows he is married.
She found out she was pregnant a month back and he has completely disappeared into thin air. He has blocked or deleted her from tinder and she never got his real name (they both went by aliases) and now she is desperately searching for him on Facebook but nothing even in the ballpark has come up.
The guy offered her abortion money and offered to go with her. She refused because she has a 3 y/o and she wants a sibling for her baby.
I can’t say I didn’t see him disappearing. He’s a piece of shit coward for having an affair in the first place and so of course he’s gonna abscond from a pregnancy from his side chick too. From my perspective it’s fairly obvious he was using my girlfriends friend and she should have either known that or have been prepared to deal with the consequences.
My girlfriend is very worried about her friend and keeps talking to me about it and asking what I think even though I’ve made it clear I don’t approve of either of their trashy behavior. I told her ‘well what did she expect?’ She keeps asking me if I think ‘as a man’ is it possible he will come back. I said hell no. Sometimes especially within the context of a couple talking let’s be frank we won’t always be politically correct.
She flipped her shit and said that my attitude towards her pregnant friend is misogynistic and I’m being heartless. I don’t think I am and I feel I’m allowed to have an obvious opinion such as that. ###### | NTA it doesn't take a man to see that he's not coming back. What did she expect him to do? Leave his partner for her when they didn't even tell each other their actual names? I think him offering to pay for an abortion was a clear not very subtle hint that he wants nothing to do with a child and in extension her if she has the child. ###### |
TW; some sensitive topics mentioned!
I considered, briefly not posting but decided to go ahead on a throw away.
My ex’s mother was very controlling, if she didn’t get her way then it was hell, she very often threw it in my ex’s face that he was aggressive (my ex was the calmest man you’d meet, he hated raised voices and would very frequently back down if he saw a fight oncoming)
We moved in together and this made life hell, she’d text him at the early hours drunk out of her mind and tell him nasty manipulative things, about him or his father.
When I found out I was pregnant she said the nastiest thing I could ever imagine, I guess after a while my ex believed her because we buried him not too long after.
I fully believe it was her fault.
Four weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
I guess MIL figured it was around my due date since I haven’t posted anything so she couldn’t have found anything out over social media.
She tells me she’s back on her meds and she broke down sobbing, in the almost 10 years I knew my ex we’ve never seen that woman cry, she asked to at least know the babies name and gender - I refused, told her to ask her son for our babies name and hung up.
I told my mother who claims I was overly harsh and she can’t believe I’d say something like that to someone who is mentally unwell and that it’s just spiteful to not do the bare minimum.
My ex would’ve backed down, so I don’t know what he would’ve wanted.
AITA? ###### | NTA It doesn't sound like she's safe for you to be around & I don't think you should communicate with her at all. From the sound of it you feel like her abuse drove him to his grave & that's more than enough reason to cut ties. ###### |
My sister and I are both staying with our mother, because she’s very sick and needs help, and we both want to be there with her before she passes. We’ve both been here about a month now. My husband and I are here with our daughter and she is here alone.
We’ve been watching a movie every night for the past week or so. Last night we watched John Wick, I guess spoilers if you haven’t seen it. My husband cried a little during the part when they kill his dog, not like full out sobbing, just a little bit. Afterwards he told me it was because he was thinking about living without me, which I thought was really sweet. Anyway, after the movie my husband put our daughter to bed, and did something else. My sister and I were just talking and she made a comment where she said something like: I can’t believe you married that baby. I was pretty annoyed at the comment but gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked what she meant.
She pointed out that he was crying at the beginning of the movie. I asked why that meant he’s a baby and she said crying at a movie, especially when it’s not even sad is childish. I told her that I didn’t appreciate comments like that, and she basically blew me off and said it was a joke.
I didn’t talk to her much today, and she finally around 4 said she was sorry in the most unapologetic, sarcastic tone. I acknowledged it but then skipped the movie tonight. She then told me that I’m overreacting and it was a one joke and to calm down. That we should be friendly with each other before our mom dies. I think that if she wants to be friendly she should apologize for real. AITA? ###### | NTA is she even a human being??? That puppy scene fucking wrecked me, is she joking with "not even sad"? What does she consider sad!?? I shudder to think. Your husband is 100% correct in his reaction to this scenario.
Side note though, even if his emotional reaction to a movie was any of her business, she was rude to comment on it and demean him in such a way. Men are allowed to express emotions other than anger now and again. She can take several seats. I wouldn't necessarily hold out for a sincere apology, as that seems unlikely, but you're not wrong here. ###### |
My [18M] close friend [18F] is someone I have always found attractive (in addition to being fun to hangout with). I didn't think I had a chance with her and didn't want to ruin the friendship so I hadn't made any moves.
She sent me a picture of herself completely naked on snapchat captioned "I want you". I was stunned and super excited. I took a picture of myself naked. After the picture was taken but before I sent it, I saw she had sent another message to me. I sent the picture before reading the message.
The message said " Omg that was obviously meant for the girl I've been talking to". She then opened my picture. She then called me a pervert saying she didn't want to see that. She said its disrespectful. I explained I thought she wanted me but she said that picture was obviously not meant for me. Now she is mad and is "taking a step back" from the friendship. ###### | NTA in this case. You didn't know that it wasn't for you. I mean apparently if she does it it's an oopsie, but if you do it it's disrespectful? It was a mistake both times. ###### |
I recently saw a post on fb about a friend who made a face mask that said “I can’t breathe” and her caption said “I love making these they’re so much fun” AITA for wanting to say something? She gets upset if ppl try to copyright her for some stickers she does but she makes bootleg clothes and now “I can’t breathe” masks in all honesty I wouldn’t profit off a movement or someone’s dying words. If I were to make these I would donate them to protestors. Should I just leave it or be the asshole and say something ###### | NTA in this case. Making things in support of a movement and selling it isn’t always an issue, but holy hell, those masks are in *very* questionable taste.
Putting “I can’t breathe” on a mask seems to be a joke for people complaining about wearing masks, which is a very childish thing to use someones dying words for. ###### |
My mother was no saint. She had her demons like the rest of us but hers put up more of a fight. In her previous marriage she went through a bad drug addiction and did a lot of damage to her ex husband and their kids, Duncan (36M) and John (34M), who were still teenagers at the time.
Long story short she ran off with another addict (my father) and had me. Wasn't an easy childhood but soon enough my mother picked herself up again and started working on being better. When I was 9, she finally built up the strength to leave my and take me with her. We were broke and homeless so she went to ask Duncan and John for help. I remember her going on her knees asking Duncan to take us in and John throwing us out. Calling her a slut and an addict. That night we slept in the streets but still my mother tried another three times to reconcile and mend things but they never cared.
Last year my mother got a heart attack and almost died. She was diagnosed with CAD. I messaged my *brothers* about her condition. Their response? "We're not giving you any money. Stop contacting us". Well she died earlier this year from after a period of rapid heart attacks. I told myself fuck them and I buried my mother at an intimate gathering with her close friends and my wife.
Recently my wife had been asking me to send them a letter so they at least know she's no longer with us. So I did. Well now the both of them have completely lost their shit sending me dozens of messages about how fucked up I am from keeping their mother's death from them and sending threats about how they're going to take 'legal action' against me so I should be prepared. My wife says she wouldn't go as far as calling me an asshole but I probably should have told them sooner. So AITA? ###### | NTA in the least. The last time you contacted them about her health they said,
> "We're not giving you any money. Stop contacting us"
Block them and bid good riddance. I understand they have a completely different history with her than what yours was, but you don't deserve the abuse. ###### |
Throwaway and title sounds bad.
This was last year
I have a 25 year old adult daughter who got pregnant and decided to keep the child. I told her to get an abortion. I am my daughters father. On Christmas last year my daughter called me and told her I have to adopt her child as she can't take care of it because of college. I told her no I don't want to adopt a child and have another 18 years of my life wasted.
My daughter became angry at me for not caring about my grand children. I told her I won't sacrifice my lifestyle because of her mistake. I then told her she can deal with the consequence of having the child herself. My daughter told me she won't talk to me unless I adopt her kid. It's been over a year now and my daughter has not talked to me. So now I am wondering if I am an asshole.
So aita for refusing to adopt my daughter's bio kid because it would sacrifice my new life style ###### | NTA in regards to not adopting the child but Jesus Christ you are for the way you talk to and about your daughter. ###### |
##### First of all, I really don't want to offend or disrespect anyone with this question. English isn't my first language so really doing my best here.
###### Long story short:
I'm 25 years old, I was born in China and adopted by white Canadian parents when I was 7 months old. I've been living in a big city since then. My origins and my adoption have never tormented me, and to be honest, I sometimes forget that I am not Caucasian like most of my friends.
###### The situation:
People often make comments related to my origins. When the comments are disrespectful, I will react. But most of the times, I have the impression that there is no bad intention, just a lack of education. 3 very common examples:
> Clients that I've exchanged many emails with (they know my very "Canadian" name) and talked over the phone who see me physically for the first time will say "ah I didn't expect that" (refering to my looks vs. my very non asian name).
Or
> People who end up saying "it's impressive you don't have an accent" (wondering why I don't have a Mandarin accent).
 
Or
> Other random example just so you understand how insignificant it often is: this weekend at the grocery store, a lady stopped me and asked me which was the best ramen noodles brand while I was walking in the "asian products' aisle.
I am always surprised when I get these types of comments (1-2 x a month), but my first reaction is to feel sorry for people saying that, thinking it's sad they did not get the education I had a chance to have, and that they've never been exposed to diversity and they must be stuck in a very sad world.
###### AITA for not answering these types of comments?
Should I be more offended and say something? Does my lack of intervention makes me part of the whole racism problem? ###### | NTA in my opinion you just seem to be extremely understanding and level headed. Most would fly off the hand but honestly in predominately white areas most are not exposed to diversity and really all it takes is a moment of education to help them understand. Those comment seem to have no malicious intent to me so it’s fine but when you sense disrespect or intentional ignorance you should take the chance to respectfully educate. It’s not your job to educate other about diversity but it can be a big help in fight against racism and ignorance. After you’ve give your 2 cents to the person it’s now on them to further educate themselves. The internet is only a click away. ###### |
So I'm typing this on the hospital and I haven't actually asked him to split the bill yet. We were at a beach earlier and he tackled my when I wasn't looking (basically a boys will be boys incident except it was totally random. I didn't instigate him. I was sober. He was drunk. He tackled me from behind so I didn't have a chance to react. Compound fracture. Surgery tomorrow.
The pain is excruciating and he texted me saying that he was sorry and if there was anything he could do then ask. I have insurance through work but there's a copay that will likely cost $3,700. AITA if I ask him to split the bill? ###### | NTA in my opinion asking for only half is extremely generous. He's liable for all of it surely? ###### |
I have a ten year old dog named Max. I’ve had him since he was a puppy and ever since I got him I’ve called him ‘baby’ when I talk to him. For example when I get home from work I greet him by saying “Where’s my baby?” or if he’s just been from the groomers I tell him “Look at this cute baby” and stuff like that.
Just to make it clear, it’s a term of endearment that I use when talking to him. But I don’t think that Max is equivalent to a human baby and I never thought that I was a mom just because I have him for a pet. When I tell other people about him I say “Max is a shih tzu” or “Max eats potatoes”.
Now I have a one year old daughter, Mia. I never call her ‘baby’ when I talk to her, I usually just use her name. I say “It’s time to eat, Mia” or I tell my husband “Can you get Mia’s shoes?” and not “It’s time to eat, baby” or “Can you get my baby’s shoes”. When other people ask me questions like “How is your baby?” I know that they’re referring to Mia so I tell them “Mia’s doing great”.
At a get together at our house my SIL caught me telling Max “No, baby you can’t eat that” and was horrified that I call my dog ‘baby’, saying it might confuse my actual baby. When I told her that I always call Mia by her name she got upset and said that I am basically telling Mia that I consider Max to be my child more than her and I should think about my parenting before I traumatize her.
As far as I’m concerned I’m not neglecting Mia, I’m taking care of her well and it seems over the top to jump to the conclusion that I will scar her for life just because I don’t call her ‘baby’ and I use that term to refer to Max when talking to him instead. But I know I might be biased because I do love my dog to bits.
Am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA in fact you could look at it completely differently. Your dog gets a pet name, because he's a pet. Your child gets her proper name, because she's a human being deserving of having her proper name used. ###### |
I (25f) have recently gotten engaged to my girlfriend (24f) and both of us are very excited. We have been dating since college and have a house and have adopted a child together. We are both very excited to get married and are planning on doing so as soon a Coronavirus is over. Recently I got some messages on Facebook from my family. Now, I’m not really that close with my family as when they found out that I was a lesbian they kicked me out and pretty much disowned me. They heard that I had gotten engaged from a family friend who I am still close with and messaged me asking why I hadn’t told them about my engagement, who was the lucky man and when was the wedding. I haven’t spoken to them for 6 years so I am very shocked that they reached out to me. I messaged them back saying that I’m engaged to a woman and that they could come as long as they didn’t make a fuss about me marrying a woman. They agreed and at the time I thought the discussion was over. Yesterday my fiancé came crying to me and showed me the messages that she’d gotten. My family had found her on the internet and had sent her hateful messages saying that she’s a whore and she’s going to hell for marrying a woman. Naturally I was furious and immediately messaged them to tell them that they had no right to treat her in that way and that they should get their heads out of their asses and understand that I have every right to marry who I want to. The responses that I got to this were horrible and both me and my fiancé are very upset. I responded to them saying that they’re banned from the wedding until they start treating my fiancé with some respect. I got messages of my aunts and cousins saying that I’m being to harsh here and that I just need to suck it up. All my friends are in agreement with my cousins. AITA here? ###### | NTA in any way. You were kind enough to invite them after what they did when they first found out you were lesbian. They’re T/As because they:
1) assumed you were marrying a man, even though you had already been out as lesbian
2) agreed to not say hateful shit, then turned around and did it. ###### |
This happened last November when we went somewhere very cold and dry for a vacation. It was supposed to be kept a secret but since my brother spilled the beans my mother is now angry at me.
We lived in humid tropical climate so this new environment had our skin having "scales" due to the dryness in the air. That was not the worst, the worst was having our lips dry and chapped so bad that drinking water hurts.
I realized somewhere that applying lip balm helps a lot, brought a small tube of it for the trip. I applied it on my brother's lips after feeling its effects, with his permission ofcourse.
My mother wiped it off him after seeing me applying it for him, saying that boys shouldn't apply anything on his lips, and that he should drink more water instead.
Well, I still applied lip balm on him after that, in secret, after telling him not to tell. He agreed to it because he likes its effect too, since chapped lips were really painful.
We kind of brought this up earlier over some casual conversation and my dear brother probably felt that after such a long time passed, it was okay to tell. Despite being history already, my mother still got angry and said that I shouldn't have challenge her authority like that.
All I know was that the lip balm helped my brother's lips from hurting, isn't it all that matters? Plus it was not like my mother actually noticed that I applied it for him, so AITA? ###### | NTA in any way- your mum literally asked you not to do something that helped your brother ease his pain she's clearly the asshole, especially considering her reason for such was based on sexism and absolutely stupid. You may have questioned her authority but she proved that her authority was questionable ###### |
(Reposted and edited due to previous issues)
Yesterday, while I (19F) was on a walk with my little brother (10M) and I told him that he has ADHD. My parents got him diagnosed last year and while they have been making efforts to help succeed in school, they get mad at him for exhibiting textbook symptoms of ADHD. I moved away for college last fall and haven't seen the full scope of things, but since I've moved back home, my parents have been yelling at my brother for not being able to finish tasks, calling him stupid, and grounding him for weeks over trivial issues. I talked to my brother about it and he's told me that while I'm away the yelling is more frequent. I decided that I would give him an explanation behind what was going on, mainly because I feel like he deserves to know, and it would explain things to him, rather that keep him thinking that "mom and dad hate me and I don't know why". I explained to him that having ADHD doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes your thinking process a bit different.
Fast forward to today, and while I was out on a walk, my brother confided to our parents about what we talked about on our walk yesterday. My dad told me that I was selfish for telling him and undermining their parenting and yelled at me for half an hour, and my mom won't come out of her room to even talk to me. So AITA?
TLDR; I told my brother that he has ADHD after my parents have been mistreating him because of his symptoms. ###### | NTA in any shape, way, or form. What on God’s green Earth is wrong with your parents? Why did they even bother having him tested if they didn’t want to accept the apparently very obvious fact that he has ADHD? ###### |
I’m 25 and have been with my SO for 2 years. I knew she was into polyamory before we started dating but agreed to be monogamous while in the relationship.
Occasionally my SO would ask me what I thought about being poly and I told her I support other people doing it but wasn’t into the idea for us. One month ago she said how it bothered her that we were monogamous and that her being poly is “just who she was.” Eventually I agreed that we could try it in the future.
Before this, she made a new friend and spent a lot of time together. Hanging out at each other’s house and talking and texting on the phone for hours. At first I was happy that she was making a friend not putting 2 and 2 together but last week she revealed that she had feelings for him and vice versa.
I know I agreed to being polyamorous but I can’t help but to feel loss. I feel like my self-defense mechanisms are going to make me stop loving her to deal with the pain of imagining her being embraced by someone else. I was also thinking that if we broke up now we could at least have our memories and be in good terms instead of developing pent up resentment and eventual hatred for an ex. If I could just press a button to be okay with all of this I would. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA in a relationship you shouldn't feel pressured to be something that you aren't, the whole thing with being Poly (I may be wrong) is that everyone in the relationship is comfortable with it. If you aren't comfortable with it and she knows that, she shouldn't be pressuring you into being something that you are not. ###### |
Little back story here. 8 months ago my wife asked if her sister could come stay with us for a week or two. I agreed. Now 8 months later after asking my wife several times When is she leaving? Today was the day.
She does not work, her daughter eats all of my children's food and she never stops crying. I know this was important to my wife and she is furious with me. Am I the asshole for not wanting to support someone else and their child?
Edit: more info.
She enrolled her daughter in school after changing her address to my home with out my knowledge. She does help around the house but there is no financial help. I did consult with my wife before acting. Unfortunately my requests seem to fall on deaf ears...
She will not be homeless she has a place to go. ###### | NTA IMHO, a "week or two" guest is always on the verge of being told to GTFO.
And honestly, she should have left LONG before this. I'm not sure why you and your wife put up with this, but I'm also not sure why this woman thought staying 8 months, not working, etc. with her and her child being supported by you in your home was in any way appropriate without a sit down with you requesting permission to do so and offering rent, grocery money, etc. ###### |
My roommate works late night shifts, so she often sleeps during the day. Me, I am doing online classes, but for various reasons my schedule tends to be unpredictable - sometimes I'm nocturnal, sometimes I'm not. This is well known.
​
My roommate's boyfriend likes to come over while she's sleeping and cuddle with her while she's asleep. She knows it, she's fine with it, it's happened before. She thinks it's romantic.
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Usually, I don't care one way or the other what they do. But the one thing I requested was some warning before he comes over. I've let him in while she's sleeping before, but that's when he texts me first to say he's coming and gives me time to at least make sure I have pants on.
​
A few minutes ago, the buzzer went off. I ignored it because we don't usually let people in without notice and the people down the hall tend to have parties where they ring the wrong door anyway. I didn't realize it was the boyfriend until he starts trying to call me on messenger. I didn't answer, because I'm "asleep." So he keeps buzzing, which is setting the dog off, which is going to wake my roommate, which I think is pretty fucking thoughtless of him since she works at night.
​
I \*could\* have gone to open the door anyway, as it's not his fault my schedule is erratic and I don't wear many clothes in my own room. I could have done it just so she wouldn't be woken up. But all I asked for was warning and I didn't get any warning.
​
AITA for not letting him in? ###### | NTA if your roommates bf wants to come over your roommate can wake up and let him in. ###### |
Recently I have been playing a well known mobile game that, among many other things, allows you to befriend other characters in the game and even marry one of them. This game is played entirely offline - i.e. these are not other people or players that you interact with, just non-playable characters within the game.
Well, when I mentioned this to my spouse, they were quite upset about it - think yelling at me, threatening to take my phone away from me if I continue to play it, telling me that I "should have known" that this would upset them (I did not know this, I swear!), etc. No matter how I tried to explain that it's just a game, it's a non-playable character (not another online player), etc., they were quite adamant - I am not to be playing this game anymore.
The thing is... this game is quite relaxing, as it allows a lot of freedom in what you can do - farming, exploring forests, caves, deserts, and other environments, fishing, etc. With everything that's going on in the world right now, it's nice to have a quiet little game that I can spend a little while playing on my own sometimes. And I should add that it's not like I'm ignoring my spouse to play this game (we spend lots of time together), or playing it to excess (I play it exclusively during downtime like when I'm putting the kids to bed, waiting in a long line, or finishing my coffee when I'm the first one up in the morning).
So I'm still playing the game during those times, but just not telling them about it. AITA? ###### | NTA if your husband is jealous of a NPC character in a video game he needs help that's overly controlling and insane. ###### |
My fiancé’s dad provided for the majority of his life: house, clothes, condo, school, everything he needed. That being said, he was a horrible father. He would beat and abuse my fiancé and restrict him of a lot of freedom growing up. Once he made my fiancé sleep outside their house as a punishment and in turn he got the flu and had to be hospitalized. He even invalidated our relationship for a long time saying that “it will pass and you’ll regret ever getting married.”
Having heard all the stories and witnessed how uncomfortable my fiancé is whenever he’s around his dad, I decided to not invite him to our wedding (with the approval of my fiancé of course.)
As we were setting up the guest list, his mom noticed his dad isn’t there. I didn’t think this would matter because they’ve been separated for a while due to him cheating and housing a “sugar baby” in a condo for years. I thought she’d rather him not be there too, but apparently not because she told me that he’s family and that he should be at his son’s wedding.
She told this to her sisters and they all agreed that my fiancé’s father should be able to see him get married after “raising him to be the man that he is.” That it’s the least we can do for him seeing as he paid for my fiancé’s entire life until he became independent.
They knew this was my initial decision because my fiancé wouldn’t be brave enough to do it so they’re now calling me selfish and not recognizing my reasons for not inviting him. I don’t owe him anything, he will just make my fiancé feel terrible the whole time, and it’s OUR day. But I’m starting to see their point so IDK if I’m an asshole here or what.
AITA? ###### | NTA if your fiance doesn't want him there then that's the end if it!
From what you've said this man was abusive to finance growing up, he was not supportive of your relationship and is an all round A hole.
Who cares what your MIL thinks? It's not her wedding and you're doing the right thing in ensuring that only the family you and your fiance love and care about attend. ###### |
I’m getting married next year. My fiancé and I were chatting about the wedding, and he asked me who my bridesmaids are going to be. So I list them off, and he just stares at me. So I ask what’s the matter and he says “well what about L(his sister)?” And I told him that she wasn’t going to be one. He gets PISSED. And he’s like “well if so and so can be a bridesmaid then L should be too! She’s going to cause a scene if she’s not one!”
Let me give you guys some background. I met this girl maybe a month after my fiancé and I started dating. She’s studying to be a cosmetologist so I was being friendly and offered to let her do my hair and she was so excited. And so she and I are sitting in a room and she’s doing my hair and she goes “it’s crazy that you guys have been together for a month, because there’s been like 10 other girls that come to the house at night, so I figured you guys weren’t serious”. So I’m thinking this girl has no reason to lie to me, and I’m cool with his brother so I ask him. He says that it’s not true and L will lie about anything to stir up some drama. Since that night that girl has lied to me about stuff from crazy nights she’s had to being the one who found my dead cousin (yeah, she’s kinda horrible). But not only is she a liar, but a theif! She steals my stuff all the time and claims that she just found it, which my fiancé believes. And the biggest thing, is she puts me down at every opportunity. She tells me that I look stupid in my new clothes or my haircut is ugly, or my makeup is shitty. Just constantly putting me down. And that’s not the energy I want around me on my big day!
I love her to death bc at the end of the day she’s my sister now. But I don’t trust her, and I don’t like her. But my fiancé is furious that his cousins can be bridesmaids but not his sister. AITA? ###### | NTA If your fiancé really wants her as part of the bridal party then she can stand up with him as his best woman, there’s no law that says you have to have your future in-laws in your wedding party, the same as there’s no rule about having the opposite sex in the bridal party and it’s acceptable and accepted that a male may have a female in his best woman, then same as its acceptable to have a male in a bridal party. ###### |
I work in a supply warehouse and was given the option to buy medical grade masks for personal use. The only restriction is that we were only allowed to buy 1 mask per person living in the same house as you.
I live with my parents, so that meant that I could buy 3 masks. I gave one mask to my dad (who is 65 years old, diabetic and still working full time) one mask to my sister (who works part time buying groceries/picking up prescriptions and provides household assistance for the elderly. She also has an asthmatic son and a diabetic daughter) and kept one mask for myself because I am working full time and have been the person going grocery shopping for our household.
When my mom found out that I didn't have a mask for her, she blew up. Yelling at me for being selfish because I didn't get her a mask. I explained about the limit on how many masks I could buy, and reasoned that since she was laid off and hadn't left the house in 3 weeks, she didn't need a mask. Also I would be able to purchase 3 more masks in 2 weeks, so I would be able to buy her one then.
My dad has sided with my mom, and said that since the limit was for each member of the household, then I shouldn't have given my mom's mask to my sister. ###### | NTA if your father is siding with your mother then he should give his to her if anything. Dont feel guilty you did what you could with a shitty situation. ###### |
So I (F20) currently share an apartment with my brother (M21). My boyfriend (M26) has been staying with me during the pandemic. I've had an apartment with my brother for two years and I'll be moving out in a few days. Over the course of the two years we've lived together, my parents have come up many times and have stayed the night. This wouldn't really bother me if they ever bothered to talk to me about it first. They always discuss coming over with my brother and I'll get told a few days before they arrive if I'm lucky (there have been multiple times I've figured out because my dad has called me telling me to get ready to pack their stuff up to my third floor apartment). At one point I had to start threatening to lock them out for hours until my brother came home to even get told a few days in advance again.
Now my boyfriend tries to get along with my family. Early on my parents decided they didn't like him based on my brother deciding he's "off-putting" before having a conversation with him. My brother had decided that because my boyfriend is the awkward quiet type and he's not usually very confident.
So everytime my parents come over, they expect my boyfriend to go somewhere else (which has caused a lot of unnecessary spending on hotels). Today, my brother and my parents decided they'd be coming up tomorrow and spending a few nights at my apartment and my brother told me that my boyfriend needs to find somewhere to stay while they're up here.
It should be noted that my boyfriend has never spent the night around my family and he wasn't very against staying time at hotels so he didn't have to listen to my dad tell us that he essentially can control what goes on in my apartment as my guarantor (I checked the lease and the law and he has 0 rights). But we don't want to spend more money than we have to since we're trying to start a life together.
So, Reddit, WIBTA if I ignored my family and decided to keep my boyfriend with me at my apartment? ###### | NTA If your bf lives there with you, it's super rude for them to expect him to go rent a hotel last minute for the duration of their stay. If it were me, I'd either insist the bf stay or if he wasn't comfortable with that, I'd go stay with him at the hotel and not visit with the parent while they're there. They need to learn to not be so entitled in your apartment. And not be such a dick to your bf ###### |
So maybe I needn't have been so direct, but we have a really old fence that has significantly misaligned slats. While it's mostly never a problem and they think some bushes near these gaps give them some privacy, I've noticed that if I sit at the far end of my patio, I can not only see comfortably into their backyard, but on one occasion caught an ample glance of his wife tanning nude by their pool. Granted, it's not terrible, but I still felt like they ought to know.
His response? He told me to stop perving on his wife and mind my own business. Now I regret telling him and my wife tells me I should've let her tell his wife. AITA here? I'm just trying to inform them of something that costs them more than it does to us. ###### | NTA if you're telling them as a courtesy. I get the feeling a few people might reply here and say 'then just don't look' but that's missing the point.
Well, you told them which was good, nothing more you can do now except cover your side of the fence so you can't see them as much. Maybe they're okay with not having a ton of privacy ###### |
Last night I (24) did chores for my boyfriend (30). He was cleaning out pens and told me to leave when I was done with chores;after I finished I helped him move a feeder and said goodbye. He told me that he was going to come back to the apartment once he was done.
I woke up at 5 am and he wasn’t back yet. I texted me asking where he was and he said that was just got out of the ER. He flipped over the skid-steer. I first asked him if he was okay and than asked why he didn’t call or text me, or even his mother, and he said because I was sleeping.
I went to do chores at 5:30 and him and his mom just got back. He said I was making a big deal over him not letting me know about going to the ER. I said a simple “hey this happened but I am fine. I’ll call you when I leave” but I didn’t get anything.
Am I the asshole of being upset? Keep in mind he posted a Snapchat story about being in the ER before he told me. ###### | NTA If you're in a relationship, you tell your partner when you go to the hospital. ###### |
My gf moved in with me shortly after the pandemic began for financial reasons mostly
She hates that i let my 2 rabbits free roam my house. She’s a neat freak and she hates the hair, hay, and the fact they occasionally drop a turd out of their litter box (which is picked up by my automated vaccuum quickly)
AITA for wanting them to continue to live their lives as is and not forcing them to give up their freedoms because my gf can’t handle what amounts to a RARE tiny rabbit pellet, some hay near their litter box, and their hair. It is my house afterall. ###### | NTA if you put them in a cage now they'll go crazy. I have an outdoor freeroamer and if she has to be put away for safety reasons, she'll immediately try to escape ###### |
So back in March when schools moved to online, my neighbor (who’s very old fashioned) asked me for my wifi password so her middle school daughter could use it for her schoolwork. She told me she was on a waiting list for charter spectrum and they would get it set up in April. She offered to pay me for the time being, which I declined. Fast forward to July, I figured the daughter doesn’t need it for school anymore since it’s summer and I was experiencing slower speeds. I decided to change the password. That night the mom “randomly” comes over with a gift card and asked if it is ok to still be on the WiFi. I asked her if her daughter already started school again or was taking summer classes and she dodged the question a few times. We ended the conversation pretty awkwardly and I’m not sure what to do now. ###### | NTA if you pay for it, and its slowing your internet down, you have every right to preserve what you pay for ###### |
My neighbors have an active 2 year old who is outside constantly. They often supervise him but he runs away pretty fast and sometimes evade their views. He is constantly playing on my front porch and flower bed. Moving my rocks and flower bed coverings etc. They sometimes catch him quickly enough and move him away but sometimes they also just let him continue playing there. I feel petty because it sounds like not a big deal but there are 3 issues that I have with this.
1) I have a motion doorbell so when he plays in my porch area, it goes off on my alerts constantly. Yes I can turn off the notifications but then I wouldn’t get notifications for when I actually have visitor which is what it’s there for.
2) it riles my dog up like crazy so him to see a little toddler outside playing so close. So my dog ends up barking like crazy for the duration of his play
3) I have a fairly large window well to the basement window which is about 2.5-3ft deep. It is completely uncovered and fully open in the flower bed.
This is my biggest concern that the kid will run into the flower bed and fall in the window well. Now I have no kids and I don’t want to put a grate on it bc it obstructs my view in the basement. And in general, no adults would step in there but since this kid keeps playing in there, I’m worried that I’m liable for any injuries!
So today, he was playing with in the flower bed again with his caregiver watching. I went up to my front window to gesture like what are you doing?? And the caregiver pulled the kid away while looking disgusted at me. Reddit: AITA here?? ###### | NTA if you haven't already, warn them about the danger of the kid falling into the window well. Let them know you have them on camera. Like someone already suggested, tell them you see cats using the flower bed as a litter box. That should work as a good deterrent. ###### |
I just moved to my current apartment about six months ago. It comes with its own covered parking behind the apartments which are all clearly labeled and it's common knowledge that covered parking at apartments is usually reserved.
To be honest, I hadn't used the reserved covered parking for the first two or three months because there are a lot of one way roads and I didn't have the time to try and find my way. Eventually I figured it out and started using my spot. Someone parked there once about two weeks after I started using it so I put a note that said "Please don't park here again. It's reserved." I was able to find other parking and that was it. Lately, though, it's happening more often. I leave a friendly note and go about my day.
Today, I'm pissed. I come home and my spot is taken again. I leave a note saying, "Please don't park here. Covered parking is reserved." My neighborhood is SO congested that there is almost literally nowhere else to legally park. Plus, I pay a stupid amount in rent so I should be able to have my own freaking spot. I grab my dog and we take off to the dog park for about two hours. I come back and the car is still there. The note isn't in the same spot so I know someone read it.
I've emailed my landlord about it and they just brushed it off saying "We're put of the office at 5. There's nothing we can do" but there are signs saying reserved parking your car will be towed.
So, my question. Would I be the asshole if I called to have the person towed who keeps parking in my spot? ###### | NTA if you get it towed. Is it always the same car, or is it different offenders? Either way, the fact that they read the note and didn't correct the behaviour is way more justification than you actually need. Tow away to your heart's content. ###### |
Pretty simple story.
So, we ordered from Dominos for lunch. She said she just wanted those breadstick and wings. I confirmed if that was all she wanted a couple times.
When the pizza came, she asked for a slice. I refused. She already ate probably around 12 wings, and 2 bread sticks. She also specifically said that she didn’t want pizza. She can’t have her cake and eat it too, or I guess eat her cake and have it too!
So, AITA? ###### | NTA if you dont want pizza you arent getting pizza. Some of these replies dont make any sense. They basically want you to be some mind reader and do the opposite of what she says. If anyone thinks the GFs way of communicating is mature and reasonable you should rethink things.
Be an adult and use your words to say what you mean so there is no miscommunication. ###### |
My fiancé (32M) has guardianship of his 13 year old sister. When we get married, we plan for me to have guardianship of her as well. I live with them and parent her for all intents and purposes. I check homework, take her to school (or right now, make sure she’s doing online schooling), make the two of them meals, do her laundry, talk to her about things, etc. Her mom died when she was little and she has said I’m like a mother figure to her.
Recently, we were talking about makeup and such. She brought it up. She asked me if she could get makeup. I didn’t see a big deal in it and got her some neutral lip glosses, lipsticks and mascaras. It was nothing wild and all went with her skin tones. I taught her how to apply it and she seemed to be happy with it.
My fiancé, however, is not happy. He says this wasn’t my choice to make and I should’ve asked him first. I’ve bought stuff for her in the past without asking him and it’s never been an issue. He’s had me deal with “girl stuff” when it comes to her, such as taking her bra and regular clothes shopping, dealing with her first period, etc. I didn’t think makeup would be any different. He says that he can’t tell her to not wear it now,because I already gave it to her. I said it was just lip gloss and some mascara and he was still upset. He said “he’s her guardian, it’s up to her”. To me, I’m more than just the fiancé.
Am I in the wrong here? ###### | NTA if you buy her bras and feminine hygiene products, buying makeup would seem to be a natural extension. ###### |
Girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, living together for 2, she's 20F and I'm 21F
From what I've been told she was raised in a household where it was very "waste not want not"(?) And anything that so much as touched your plate got ate, no matter how full you are.
My girlfriend lives by that, she physically can't help it, I once watched her eat an entire plate of food, despite saying she was full less than half way and then be sick and continue to eat because she didnt want food wasted.
She has been getting counselling for the last 3-4 months but progress takes time.
Her mother recently came to visit us, we told her the issue and what we're doing is very small plates.
So, she insists on cooking and dishing up and every time it's been huge plates.
Her argument is that my girlfriend is an adult, obviously true, but she can't help it.
We've talked and argued several times.
I had enough and asked her to leave, she left after arguing about how my girlfriends an adult etc.
My girlfriend is fine with it, she never had a relationship with her mother anyway.
My mother said I was an AH and said that MIL was right, we should've set boundaries and not let her cook and I shouldn't have been involved.
We tried not to let her cook and it didnt work.
AITA? ###### | NTA if you asked her to stop and she wouldn't. ###### |
My maternal grandmother passed way because of throat cancer when I was in the seventh grade. She left all of her granddaughters a necklace that she has custom made for them (she asked us which was our favorite gem). At the time I was crazy about rubies and she actually got me a custom made necklace with rubies. It was beautiful and something that I wanted to treasure as an heirloom because it was my grandmother's last gift to me.
Fast forward a couple of years, I was in Grade 12 when my eldest cousin sister was getting married. I couldn't attend the wedding cause I live in a different country and it was too close to my final exams. My narcissistic mother however attended. After she came back, and my exams were over. I asked her what she gave my cousin for her wedding present. (I was so stressed about exams that I wasn't involved in the wedding discussions at all). She told me she gave her that ruby necklace.
She gave my cousin sister my ruby necklace without even asking me because according to her it would be a waste of money to buy something when she already had that.
I was devasted. But I couldn't do anything apart from cry and get angry.
It's been years now. And I have been thinking about asking my cousin for the necklace back after explaining the situation.
WIBTA if I demanded the necklace back? ###### | NTA if you asked but YWBTA if you demanded. If you explained and she was understand, she would more than likely gift it back (I know I would and apologise even though it's not her fault for not knowing!). Hopefully it won't come to the point where you have to demand. In this situation, neither of you are in the wrong (yet) and all fault lies with your mum. ###### |
For context, my two friends (20F) and myself (19F) are all queer. This happened a while ago, but it still bothers me.
I’ve only been in two serious relationships and both of them have been with cis men. Still, I identify as a pansexual as their gender doesn’t matter to me.
In my first relationship, I didn’t really notice that my friends were acting any different from when I was single. After a while, things become more obvious. They’d stop talking about girls when I joined the conversation and switch topics. They didn’t want to tell me about their crushes, but I didn’t really mind, it’s up to them whether they want to tell me or not. But then it got more serious, I couldn’t talk about any issues concerning LGBTQ+, because apparently I couldn’t relate to them.
Now on to the main story. Pride is celebrated in my country and it’s a big deal for the community. We’ve wanted to go for years, but there was always a reason we couldn’t go. Except for this year, all three of us were free and I was really excited about it. I had noticed though, that they hadn’t brought it up for a while, so I asked them about it. They didn’t think I intended on going, because ‘I’d been living the straight life’. I told them that I still identified as pan and wanted to be treated that way. They answered that to be treated as pan I should be acting as pan.
That made me so angry. I thought our community was inclusive and I at least expected that from my own friends. I told them they were being biphobic/panphobic and that I didn’t even wanna go with them anymore. Basically they didn’t think you could be biphobic/panphobic when you’re queer. I said that they should be ashamed of themselves and I walked away. We’re still friends, but they still believe that I was an asshole for saying that, but I don’t know, am I? ###### | NTA if you are in a straight cis passing relationship that doesn't make you valid to a lot of lgbt people which is 100 percent wrong... you're still valid as a pan person and I say go without them. They AH. ###### |
My dad is, to put it mildly, pretty selfish when it comes to food. If there are, for example, a pepperoni and a BBQ chicken pizza in the fridge he'll eat the latter purely because he knows it's the one meant for my tea.
More than once I've gone to make myself something to eat, only to realise that my dad has eaten his way through the things we both like and only left the things I _don't_. It's deliberate.
He is, however, differently picky about food than I am. Among other things, he won't eat pasta, spinach, or anything explicitly labelled as vegetarian or vegan.
So to prevent him from eating my food before his own I often buy things I _know_ he doesn't like. Tortellini, spinach and ricotta pizza, veggie chilli, etc. This means I have a stock of "easy" foods, without having to worry if they're going to be eaten before I want them.
He then complains there's nothing to eat. The fridge, freezer, and cupboards can be rammed full...but if everything of mine is stuff he won't eat, then there's "nothing".
AITA for depriving my dad of the ability to eat everything that's meant for my meals? ###### | NTA if you are buying the food yourself and he is eating it. ###### |
For context - I'm back in my hometown, staying with my parents, grandfather and sister in a small apartment which has only two bedrooms. Needless to say, this has led to cabin fever.
Today, my sister came to me with some news related to her job offer (they have delayed the joining date and reduced the salary) and I wasn't properly sympathetic because I was in the middle of some work (total asshole here, I agree).
Later, when talking to her and my mother things got heated because I hadn't displayed proper empathy to my sister. My mother got angry, and when she gets angry she starts screaming. She started telling me off and complaining about how much my sister and I fight.
Now, my parents have a very contentious marriage. I have grown up witnessing bitter fights every day, and my mother's constant complaining of my dad not living up to her expectations.
Back to the situation - I got fed up with my mother's screaming and I said well you shouldn't complain about us, you and dad fight too so how is this different.
Me saying this was unforgivable, and I have no right to comment on their marriage.
AITA? ###### | NTA if this is all there really is to it; it just seems like a really small hill for your mom to die on. If their fighting is so severe then it might just be a particularly sore spot for her. I was leaning a bit N / A / H for that reason but honestly, her getting so offended by that is probably because she was rightfully called out. ###### |
I have a medically fragile kid (genetic condition/feeding tube/just home after 2+ months in the hospital). Our neighbors know all of this. They have always just let their 8 year old walk into our driveway and yard without permission. I asked them nicely via Facebook yesterday if they could keep him out of our space and my son and my medically fragile child deserve to be able to safely go out in our front yard. She told me I was being completely unreasonable and because our houses are fairly close together, it is silly for me to expect her son to not walk through our yard. ###### | NTA if this continues that is considered trespassing. Make sure she knows that
Edit: I suck at grammar sometimes ###### |
They have no yard, and we have a huge one. I guess they feel entitled because of that and that they own while we rent.
So they've always trespassed in our yard the past few years, but it was every once in a while. And we didn't want to ruin a kid enjoying the outdoors. Well, since the quarantine it's been every damn day for hours. Which again, we tried to just put up with. But then the kid starts the death-shrieks. And that is very disturbing. And then they start hitting the house.
So I want to talk with them about not playing in our yard, but thanks to social distancing, a text will have to do. Well, the adult/parent threw an absolute fit and personally attacked me and accused me of damaging their property in the past but they were "too nice to say anything."
I just cannot believe it. They trespass, and we assert our rights....and they say I'm the asshole. So...am I? ###### | NTA if they start hitting the house, take pictures and inform the owner, your landlord. you don’t want to get accused of damage when it’s not your fault. Keep texts as proof and next time, video it! ###### |
I'm an Atheist, only my mother knows this and she hates talking about anything surrounding beliefs or her own, especially since I came out about my beliefs. She keeps her feelings about my beliefs tucked down deep.
Anyhow for context my grandmother is extremely religious, she's very much your typical old age thinking person.
Me and my mother were talking about a conversation i had with my father where he asked if I was fasting this Ramadan and I said no.
After that she told me not to tell my uncle I'm not fasting if he calls me since he lives with his mother (my grandmother) who he would likely tell since it would bother her.
I said no I'm not lying, you know me and who I am, if my grandmother can't handle the fact that I'm not fasting then so be it, that's her problem not mine.
WIBTA? ###### | NTA if they ask and you tell them. No reason to lie for their sensibilities. More of a toss up if you volunteer that information without them asking. You do you though. ###### |
So I took over care of a dog because the owners thought she was too hyper and didn't want her because they didn't know how to train her to not be hyper so my friend suggested me because I am a dog lover and am good at training, they gave me the dog like the dog is mine completely the are never getting her back especially because in my opinion they were abusing her but that's a completely different story.
I tried calling the dog by the name they had given it Peanut, I tried for 3 days to get her to respond to it I couldn't get so much as an ear twitch she just wouldn't respond, so I tried calling her Honey she instantly responded if I called her Honey and asked her to sit she would do it right away if I called her from across the house calling her Honey she would come running. My friend who arranged for me to get the dog is saying that I shouldn't just change her name and that she's had that name for 3 years. As well as saying it's disrespectful to change the dog's name, I'm just at a loss for if I'm being unreasonable? I also asked that my friend please use the name Honey when refering to my dog because thats her name now. So am i the one being an asshole?
Since people keep asking here is Honey
My baby! https://imgur.com/gallery/bn8300N ###### | NTA if she replies to Honey then that’s her name. My dogs name was Howell before I got him and I changed it to Ollie and he instantly took to it. Also - it’s your fricking dog now. Your friend needs to chill. ###### |
My flatmates girlfriend has been living here the past few weeks (not visiting- living here 24/7) and I told him today it's not cool and so he told her to leave. They have only been dating a short while (couple months) and she normally lives with her family.
For context: they don't just stay in their room- they occupy the common areas all the time. It is a small apartment for two people. For example we have a sofa for two people in the living room, when she is over I can't sit down and enjoy the TV as they are in there cuddling all the time.
Currently none of us are working also which exasperated the issue as we were seeing each other 24/7 and I felt like I had no personal space anymore. ###### | NTA if she is not paying she cant live there ###### |
My stepmother (49F), who we'll call Mary, is a conservative, and also does extreme racist things, which I'm not going to delve into right now. She got married to my dad when I was 14, and after she moved in, she used to force me to diet, and tell me that men liked women who did this, and that.
She and my dad moved into my apartment as they lost their house due to the virus. They are not paying any expenses, or chipping in.
Yesterday at dinner, I told them my boyfriend was moving in with us, and she replied with "India? Which state is he from?" and I tell her Kerala. So she tells me that he can't move in with us because he's from Asia, and Kerala is a dirty place where uneducated people live, etc, that he can't move into her house, and that I need to break up with him ASAP.
I told her that she doesn't own my apartment, and if she doesn't like him being in MY apartment, she can move out. Also called her out for her racism and ignorance.
She got up crying and rushed into my bedroom. Heard things being thrown around and breaking, so I went in, and found a ceramic music box my grandpa got me shattered in pieces.
I was furious. My grandpa is dead, and that was one of the only things I had from him. I actually snapped. Told her that she isn't my mother, and she can't go around having tantrums and did some other things I'm not ashamed of, and then kicked her out.
My dad says that I should apologise, and I told him he might as well get out of my house as well.
Boyfriend moved this morning, and my actual mom did too. These are the only two people who think Mary had it coming. My dad called me up an hour ago, and told me that I really hurt her with my comments, especially the one where I told her she was not my mom, and so I blocked him.
My step aunt caught wind of this, and told me I was an ungrateful brat what with her taking care of me my entire childhood when my "failure of a mother couldn't."
So, Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA if NOTHING else she PURPOSELY broke a very special DEAD relatives’ item. Because you wouldn’t immediately break up with someone she irrationally deemed unhygienic.
If she didn’t want to stir the pot she probably shouldn’t have had an entitled temper tantrum where she broke your possessions. SHE can apologize AND she can either replace with monetary value the stuff she broke or she can try to glue it all back together.
Either way you are NOT THE ASS!!! I’m so mad for you!!! ###### |
I’m getting married soon (don’t worry it’s a covid safe option). Everything has been kind of sinking in and while I can’t wait to marry him, I’m feeling a little sad about giving up my “identity” by becoming “Mrs XYZ.” I’m well known within my field and earned a Masters degree with this name, am nationally/globally licensed with this name.
Our names are NOT compatible for hyphenation; it would be like a 20 letter last name.
I asked tonight if he would be upset if I didn’t change my last name. He was not impressed and stated that it’s tradition, and that I must not want to share my kids last name or be a real family with him. I think I just hurt his feelings, but AITA for not feeling great about giving up my name? ###### | NTA If it’s important to him that you all share a last name he could take yours. ###### |
I own a building with three units in it. I live in one of them and rent out the other two. One of the reasons I bought this place because it has a huge garage. The garage was technically made so it could accommodate cars from the three units. I however use the whole space for myself.
Anyway a while ago one of my tenants has asked if they’re boyfriend can move in and be added to the lease. I had no problem with that and we did all the paperwork.
It turns out her boyfriend is disabled and unable to walk long distances. I got a text from her asking if he can have a spot to park in the garage because he’s having a hard time finding parking on the street that close enough.
I reminded her I do not provide parking to any of my tenants and that I am already using all the space.
She said that I have to provide handicapped parking.
Now I have actually looked this up before in case this was an issue and I informed her how legally I only have provide handicapped parking if I provide parking to any of my tenants which I do not and am also not required to provide.
She replied to me saying:
“He’s disabled! He needs the space more than you do. Do you expect him to walk home from blocks away and injure himself”
So I tried to stay neutral in my reply:
“I understand that that parking is an issue for him. If the both of you would like to leave and find a new place to live I can end your lease early after this month”
She said “seriously? You’re not going to accommodate your disabled tenant? And you expect us to move out with everything going on. Wow. He’s going to hurt himself and it’s going to be all your fault”
Look I really do understand that he is disabled and he could injure himself if he is forced to park so far away, but I feel like I always made the parking situation clear with my tenants. ###### | NTA If it's been clear the entire time she's lived there that you do not provide parking for your tenants, it's her own negligence if her boyfriend gets hurt. If it was really important to her boyfriend to have close parking, she should have inquired about it before having him move in. Of course, I'm sympathetic to her boyfriend's struggle, but that doesn't make it your fault that she didn't do her due diligence and put her boyfriend's needs first. You went as far as to offer to let them out of their lease, which I don't think many landlords would do. I think you're in the clear here. ###### |
I don’t know if it’s relevant, but I’m 20 and I live with my parents and my brother (25). On to the story.
We live in a somewhat rural area. My Mom and Dad went for a walk with the dogs. On the walk, my Dad saw an orange on the side of the road. We don’t live in an area where oranges grow, so clearly someone dropped or threw it out of their car. Over the protests of my Mom, he picked it up and brought it home because it’s a “perfectly good” orange. My Mom was upset about this but didn’t want to confront him, instead talked to me about how she’s worried about bugs and fruit flies and also the orange is gross. Which I agreed with. My brother, my Mom, and I all separately talked to him about how the orange is gross, he got angry and said, “that’s a perfectly good orange, if you don’t want it you don’t have to eat it.”
Two days after he picked it up, I walked into the kitchen. And saw it in the fruit bowl with all the good fruit. He keeps picking it up and putting it in the fruit bowl when I remove it. I saw that it was turning brown and I touched it and it was mushy. I couldn’t take it anymore and I threw that fucking thing down the garbage disposal.
I got an earful from my Dad, who was furious. I also got an earful from my Mom and my brother for making him furious when we’re all trapped together, and it’s just an orange.
AITA? ###### | NTA if it was such a good orange, why didn't your Dad eat it? ###### |
today my stepdad refused to let my little sister put makeup on him and when i asked him why, he said it's because men aren't allowed to use makeup. i told him that it's 2020 and dozens of men wear makeup, to which he replied those people weren't "real men". i asked him to elaborate and he said that since they chose to play a feminine role, they weren't men.
i'm a lesbian and while my parents know that, they don't want to believe it and refuse to let me talk about it or properly come out to them. i asked him if me dressing masculine (which is something i do, simply because i like the look on me) makes me less of a woman. he said yes.
i called him out on his bullshit and told him he’s being ignorant. then i left the room. now he acts like i'm being dramatic and should stop ignoring him. am i the asshole? ###### | NTA If I were you I would make him tell you his favourite actors or celebrities and then show him videos of them in a dressing room, WWE fan? All makeup. Reality TV? Makeup. He has a mentality on that which is all kinds if messed up and illogical. ###### |
So before I start I 1000% know I’m petty but I wanna know if I’m TA because she’s now crying and I feel like I’ve gone too far...
So the other day she lost something, we were both looking for it and I was actively searching in front of her for this thing. During the search I got a text from my best friend that he’d been hit by a car while on his bike. Obviously I was crazy worried and other still looking for the thing my mind obviously wasn’t on the task anymore. My mum started to shout at me that I don’t care about her and her stuff. I explained what had happened and why my mind was wondering. Her response was ‘he’s just a friend, I don’t really care right now.’ Obviously this really annoyed me.
Fast forward to right now. I’m currently looking for something of mine, I ask for her help. Not even a minute in she stops completely. I ask what’s up and she says she’s not bothered about my thing right now as she just got a text from her friend. Her friend had just been called a ‘fat cow.’ I said ok. She gave me daggers and I said what do you want me to say? No different to what you did to me the other day? She is now crying and has left the room?
AITA?
TLDR: Mum said she didn’t care about my friend so I said the same. ###### | NTA if I was a parent and my kid casually dismissed their friend getting hit by a car I would be way more concerned about that. ###### |
I’ve got a gaming PC that I’ve built and upgraded over the years, currently (i7 7700k, 1080ti, 16 gigs of ram)
Ever since I graduated I’ve been traveling a lot for work so it doesn’t see as much action as it used to
A cousin of mine ( met them maybe once or twice so far) needs a computer for school and it was suggested he take mine since it’s rarely being used, I flat out refused because
1. I do use it game when I have the time and I’m back home
2. I’m a bit possessive about it.
3. I know that they can’t pay me back if they damage it
I’ve been called selfish and inconsiderate so let’s hear it AITA ###### | NTA if I built it and put money into it I’m keeping it. ###### |
I am a 20yr zoology and environmental science student from the US. I was on a hike with my mom and brother to celebrate the end of the online semester when I saw a honeybee on a dandelion. I looked down to take a picture and started talking about how they are endangered and how cute they are when my 18 yr brother full on stomped on the bee. I yelled at him in surprise and was super pissed that the bee was dead for no reason. He claimed he did it bc he’s scared of bees.
I was mad at him the rest of the day, basically just being curt and not very talkative with him. My parents think I am just being sensitive, which I probably am, but I think its wrong to hurt an endangered species just because you are scared of them. It’s a bee, please just walk away. But in the end I may be acting like an asshole for giving him the cold shoulder. AITA? ###### | NTA If he’s scared of bees he should stay away from them, not approach them closer to stomp on them. Whether he’s afraid of them or not, he was deliberately provoking you. ###### |
Over the months, I've finally had time to paint and so I've made money off painting art commissions. I ordered a Switch and its meant to arrive some ime this week, and so I withdrew some cash so I can pay for it (cash on delivery)
Now the problem is, my family has seen the wad of cash and has gradually borrowed money from it that it went from 12k to 2k. It's fine because I'm tracking the package and it wont be here 'til Monday, so I still have time to withdraw more cash and thankfully, I still have enough even if they don't pay me by then if my tracking is correct. And usually they notify me first and ask nicely.
This morning, my brother just casually dropped he took money from my wallet this morning while I was asleep. I got pissed and said "you people aren't entitled to my money". He got pissed too and said I shouldn't be acting like that, that he has been earning far longer and he never got my selfish attitude, and that he at least said she took it right now because she didn't want to wake me up.
AITA for my attitude over my money? ###### | NTA if he’s been an earning longer he shouldn’t need to take your money over and over. I get helping people out but they can’t keep taking from you. How can you ever have your own money if they do. He pretty much stole from you in your sleep. It’s like they searched for your hidden money since it was packed away. They were already snooping and found it.
~~How can you let people take 10k from you?!~~
~~Also why did you have 12k just lying around the house? Family or not, that’s not the smartest thing. Plus, The switch doesn’t cost that much unless we aren’t taking about dollars $ and the value is different?~~
Edit: If it is Kroner then that’s $1,200 and they took $1k, which makes more sense. ###### |
Context: Me (29f) and husband (32M) have been married for just over 3 months.
My sister bought a Birkin in store a few months ago, and asked me if I wanted to buy it from her. I've always wanted that specific bag, and it's been sold out everywhere so when she offered I jumped.
My husband and I have separate finances except for one joint account for household expenses. We also decided on a percentage of income to save for future baby, retirement etc. I come from a wealthy family, so I do have a bit of money that I did not get from my work. Prior to our marriage we had the same system of mostly separate finances, one joint account. Neither of us kicked up a fuss when we bought expensive things as long as we didn't pay for it using our joint account or dip into the agreed savings.
While this may not be perfect, it worked well for us. I bought the bag and brought it home. My husband saw it and freaked out. He said I shouldn't have bought such an expensive bag without asking him first. I tell him that it was my money and I didn't break any of the aforementioned rules. He replied that it's different since we are married now and that everything I own is his now as well, and that I can't spend on useless things anymore.
I'm just, genuinely confused. I didn't dip into my savings, nor did I use our joint account. This was a system we had for 5 years before we got married and he didn't have an issue with it. ###### | NTA if he wants to change the rules he needs to talk to you about it ###### |
I chose to lock up with my family while my state is on lock down. Mistake. My stepfather is an ass. Man has never once said thank you in his life and will complain about everything and anything. He rides my ass 24/7 and makes me feel about 2 feet tall. Well I decided to make us a nice dinner. Stuffed boneless chicken, herb rice, baked potatos, all the fixens. The works. This man stood over my shoulder and cried and whined the entire time. He wanted cheese rice instead. Why wasn't I stacking the chicken in the stove. I was gonna overcook the chicken it needs to be 150 instead of 165 no one wants overcooked chicken. My potatos were "Wrong. Just wrong". He kept saying that. "Wrong. Just wrong. I cooked in the navy". Finally he kept snapping at me to pull up my "Sorces" on how to cook chicken and I snapped and pulled the tray out of the stove and told him to cook his own f*cking meal then I left and took a shower. I get that that was childish but like half the family has spent days locked in their room to avoid his crying needy whiny bullshit so I don't get why my family is mad at me. I am so sick of playing mommy to a 50 year old man. ###### | NTA if he doesn't like what you're making he can shut his mouth and make his own food. ###### |
I was unloading my groceries and found a devotional booklet and a note from my instacart person encouraging me to find Jesus in these dark times.
My order was otherwise just fine, and I won’t change my tip, but I don’t I don’t know how assholish I would be leaving a low star review for the literature. I don’t want to fuck with anyone’s income, and I’m sure this person thinks they’re being kind, but I find the proselytizing unprofessional and exceedingly unwanted.
So, WIBTA giving low star review with a complaint about the religious literature? ###### | NTA If everyone did what this worker did, going outside would be hell.Not like anyone's leaving "consider not believing in god or burn" pamphlets.
Good on you for being invested enough to leave a review (but maybe don't be to upset about something kinda insignificant, in case you were) ###### |
My fiancé and I were supposed to get married at the end of this month, obviously it’s been moved. We’re now planning on the beginning of January of 2021.
I’m Asian-American, half Chinese half Japanese, but no one in my family has lived in Asia since my maternal grandmother. And she’s the only one. Everyone else directly related to me was born in America and lives here. I don’t follow any Chinese or Japanese customs, I don’t speak the language, I’m completely American. If I was white you wouldn’t be able to tell I had Asian roots. But I’m not white obviously.
My fiancé’s parents have always been a little racist. They’ve made off hand remarks here and there that were a bit suspect, but I tried not to over think them and ignored it. But a few days ago my fiancé was video chatting with them and I sat down with him to say hi. His mom then says “you’re lucky you didn’t catch it from her”. My fiancé mad a bit of a half assed effort to explain that’s not how it works, but he got talked over and then he gave up.
Afterwards I told him he had to confront his parents about it and at least make them stop saying that kind of thing in front of me. They can think whatever the hell they want, but to my face they should at least be trying to be respectful.
He claimed he already tried and nothing came of it, etc etc, but I don’t think he’s ever truly confronted them, just told them how they were wrong. I told him that unless he confronts them they can’t come to the wedding.
He got mad and said that I’m going overboard and it’s unfair to try and pressure him to choose like that. I’m not making him choose, I just want him to talk some sense into him.
AITA? ###### | NTA if can't stand up to obvious racism now he's not magically going to grow a spine and stand up for you and your children later ###### |
My parents split when I was around 6ish, my dad never remarried but my mom remarried almost recently to a guy who had 3 kids who were 8, 5 and 2 and I was 7 at the time. I don't want to fully blame my mom but she rushed things, I wasn't hot on my parents divorcing and then BAM I had a new family just like that and my dad didn't matter other than the 3 days every other week I was at his place.
I never really liked having a new family cause I had a family and it was uprooted and had a brand new one in less than 2 years. The kids felt almost the exact same way cause their dad rushed things just as bad. The "family" didn't blend at all, and when I turned 15 I started spending a lot of my time at my dad's. I hold no grudge against the steps but they aren't my family and if asked they would say the same about me. Only reason I don't live with him full time is cause its pretty bad and is literally lopsided.
I don't know what happened and he's never done this before but when I came over there he started to lecture me about the importance of "family" and that I should try to get to know my "siblings" more. That struck a cord cause it sounds something almost exactly like what my mom would say and I told him that he was sounding like mom and left the house. I spent the night at my friend's house before returning to my mom's. AITA? ###### | NTA if after 8 years you still don't have a bond with them, it's clearly never gonna happen and your mother needs to stay out of your dads business ###### |
A few years ago a friend of mine was given the whole set of a manga collection (around 20 books or so) from a family friend. She wasn't overly interested in manga so decided to gift them to me for my birthday.
I LOVE this series; it's one of my favourites and I was planning on taking this set to university with me in a few months. However earlier today this friend messaged me, in a group chat mind not PM, asking if she could have the books back. She claimed that the original owner wanted them back, so she wanted them back to return to the owner.
To be honest I don't want to give them back; they were originally a present to my friend who gifted them to me, and I feel that both my friend and the original owner are being rude to ask for them back.
WIBTA if I said I want to keep them?
Quick Update: I talked to my friend about it and she had never wanted to ask for them back in the first place. Her family is rather strict and believes that "you should always help your family no matter what". The original owner (her family friend) had been harassing my friend to get the books back, and only asked me to get them to stop nagging her. ###### | NTA if a person gives a gift there is no return even more if it has been years. ###### |
This is an awkward one... so making it short
I am a 22 year old guy living with parents right now. My 84 year old grandmother, after the death of her husband, became depressed and her health declined rapidly. She has become quiet and frail, with the intelligence of a baby, and she cannot even eat or go bathroom without help.
My parents were out for a while and they've asked me to keep an eye on grandma till her caretaker arrives. She was supposed to come by 4.30pm. Grandma was sleeping so it should have been a breeze, or so I thought.
Around 3pm, grandma peed herself. She was not on diapers because she could make noise when she needed to go, but this time she did it on her bed directly.
I cleaned her up. When I say cleaned, I don't think you need more hints. I kind of carried her off the bed, pulled off her pants and you know, wiped her clean and changed her a pair of clean pants. Hey she is an old woman and could not help herself, so I help her, nothing inappropriate, or so I thought.
Both my parents and the caretaker gave me very weird looks after telling them what I did. I wasn't scolded or what, just told that if there were a next time, to call the caretaker instead and she would come sooner. My mother also said that it was incredibly rude and disrespectful to touch my grandmother as a guy, even if she barely had much awareness.
AITA for this? ###### | NTA if a male caretaker did this, would it be weird? You took care of your grandmother! Was it weird when your grandmother changed your diapers as a baby? NO! You're in reversed roles right now, not weird, not inappropriate, and anyone who says otherwise is the one with the problem. Were you supposed to let her sit in urine soaked sheets and clothes for hours?
You're a GREAT grandson. ###### |
My mom has wanted someone to come professionally deep clean our house for a long time. It’s pretty expensive, so I suggested paying my boyfriend to deep clean since he’s very good at cleaning. She agreed and named her price, but later she made a snide comment about how my boyfriend should’ve offered to clean our house for free
I got extremely pissed because my boyfriend never asked to be paid for this. Paying him to clean our house was a conversation between me and my mom. My boyfriend had no idea that we even wanted him to clean her house.
She defended herself saying she would’ve paid him more if he had never asked for money. I kept trying to explain to her that he never asked her to pay him because he didn’t even know we were thinking of hiring him until I told him. My boyfriend would have done this for free if I asked him, but I just don’t feel comfortable asking someone to clean my mom’s house without paying them.
I lost my patience and blew up on her and told her she shouldn’t expect people to do her huge favors for free all the time, even if she pays them as a thank you. I also lectured her about how cleaning your whole house isn’t a normal favor and she shouldn’t have had any expectations my boyfriend would do this for free. ###### | NTA I’ve been reading a lot of r/choosingbeggars and your mom reminds me of some of those people tbh lol ###### |
Hey everyone, long time lurker but first time posting. My bf (23m) and I (21f) have been together almost 2 years now, I fell pregnant pretty early on in the relationship which I understand was hard because we didn’t get much time to just ourselves before our son came along.
I’m unsure how to type this because I’m exhausted as it’s 3am here but I’m just so upset. Since our son has been born my partner has woken up in the morning with him once. Every single day no matter what time and even if I worked the night before I still get up in the mornings. Our son is still exclusively breastfeeding so I do the night wakings as well. Sometimes it can be every hour he wakes especially when he’s teething. My partner gets the sleep through it all, which I understand because our son is breastfeeding but it’s still hard. Most nights my partner stays up playing his games till 2-3am and sleeps until I wake him at 10-11am. I’ve tried waking him earlier but he’s not a morning person and gets mad and tries to ignore me to go back to sleep. So we usually end up fighting. Tonight I woke up to find him awake again and I just snapped because I’m so sick of watching him get to stay up as late as he wants to and sleep in every single day. I’ve tried to speak to him about it multiple times before but nothing has changed, I’m so exhausted all the time and I feel like he doesn’t give a damn. He got pissed off because of my “attitude” towards him. I don’t know what to do but he’s treating me as tho I’m in the wrong for getting mad at him for this. So AITA here? Can anyone suggest a way to talk to him about this without being TA? I’m so tired so I hope this makes sense..
Edit- I should add here that he’s an amazing dad when he’s awake during the day, it’s just this one issue of never actually getting out of bed in the mornings.
Edit 2- my son refuses bottles no matter how hard we try so I can’t express my milk for him to do feedings. ###### | NTA I’m so sorry. He’s not being a responsible dad and partner leaving it all on you. This is not right. You need help and he needs to step up. You’re barely sleeping and he’s playing video games and yelling at you for asking for help
I don’t know if you want to go to a couples counselor or have some family step in to back you up or what but you’re not in the wrong here ###### |
Last year my parents lost almost everything they had, they literally had no money to buy food. They were always nice to me and they paid for my college so I thought it was kind of my duty to support them untill they become financially independent again
I (28m) am making 120k a year, but still since we we were living in the same city I decided to move in with my parents to not to waste money on rent while I help them financially. My dad got his business again, so far it is going well even though there almost no profits. I am hoping that it will soon be profitable.
My brother (32m)also lives with my parents and he is a total failure, he has never had a job. He only had a few failed businesses (my parent gave him the money to start the business). For the last 1 year I have been the sole source of income for the family, I have been paying for the food, utilites and all the other costs. Since my brother has never had a job, he cant get a job right now and my parents no longer have the money to give him to start another failed business, he has been unemployed. And he has ego problem, he cant go work minimum wage jobs. I recently learned that my brother has been taking money from my parents (the money I give them) and spending on going out with his friends. When I learned it I told my parents that he should not get any money, and he should not even eat the food I buy untill he gets a job on his own, even if it is a minimum wage job. My parents told me that I was overreacting and my brother called me the AH. Am I really the asshole here? ###### | NTA I’m so done with siblings at this point ###### |
My Daughter has been in a relationship for 10 months and we really like the kid, he's a great kid, gets good grades and addresses us with "Sir" and "Ma'am" respectively. So, it's not like we disapprove..However, every month it's "Hey mom it's our 1 month can I order us grubhub?" "Its our 2 month, 3 month" ECT. You get the point.
We just moved into a bigger house, so naturally, bills are more. We haven't even received our first round of bills yet and we're apprehensive about blowing money. Everytime she orders it's at least 35 dollars!
So, here's the questionable statement I made. "Guys, I love you both and you know we like having you around boyfriend, so don't take this the wrong way. Not every month is an anniversary and doesn't require spending 30-50 dollars. I know they feel special and that's great but Dad and I can't afford to blow money right now"
There it is..I was met with dagger stares and my daughter exclaimed "Wow mom, thanks for taking a dump on our happiness!" Boyfriend just looked embarrassed and didn't say anything. He's usually the one trying to get her under control. My daughter has a hot head like her Father. Am I the asshole?? I don't feel like I should have to fork out money for food, rides to special locations and go out of my way everytime they make it another month. 14yo daughter btw.
Info: she's paid 200 a month, I had already prepared dinner with more than enough to go around and the questionable statement I made was after 5-6 "but why??" Statements. I shouldn't have down played their day, I was young once and had a first long boyfriend. There will definitely be some family budgeting and personal budgeting talks but I'm hoping this teen parenting thing gets more seamless in 10 years because her 4yo sister is next😂 ###### | NTA I’m a teenage girl, so I feel I have a pretty good stance from her side as well. If she wants to spend a ton of money on her and her boyfriend she could always get a job. Then she could see for herself how hard earning money is and why you don’t want to spend that much every month currently. Also, does the BF chip in at all?! I’m from the Midwest and we either Go Amish or He pays unless the girl makes significantly more. ###### |
My brother (16M) and I (18F) regularly refer to each other as “Dude”, “Boy”, Bro”, “Man”, “My guy”, etc. That’s just how we naturally talk to each other in conversations and my mom hates it because my brother “shouldn’t be using masculine words like dude” to describe me and a “proper lady” shouldn’t use words like “bro” and “dude”, etc. She said that it’s trashy, low class, and “below us”. We’ve tried to change the way we talk around her so we don’t get scolded but she still gives us a funny look when it slips out sometimes.
She also HATES it when she calls our names from far away in the house and sometimes we answer “Yeah?” Instead of “Yes?”. It’s a habit that’s hard to break because we talk to everyone else in my family along with friends like that and they don’t mind it. She’ll always say, “Don’t say “yeah” to me, it’s disrespectful. I’m your mother. Start over.” And she’ll ignore me until we say “yes.” It gets her SO worked up that it’s hard not to laugh sometimes but I don’t want to offend her if it can be taken by others the wrong way.
So am I wrong here? Idk if older adults see it differently but is saying words like “Yeah” and “Dude” offensive or disrespectful? I didn’t mean anything bad by it. ###### | NTA I’ll bet your mom is super fun at parties. ###### |
I (F24) live with my mom and we have a new neighbor (F45+) who moved in about 4 months ago. We do know her before she moved in and my mom is friends with her (they're both about 45+ yrs old) I actually really like her and she's pretty cool.
While we all were in quarantine (I stayed alone at home and my mom stayed with her bf) her son stayed at her place (he's 23)
They would invite me for coffee and if they baked something they would always bring me some (and vice versa) so it was pretty nice. The last neighbours had 3 screaming kids and It drove me insane so having adults that i can sit with and talk to is really nice.
The topic somehow came up and we talked about me being a tattoo artist. Her son got super excited and asked me if I could tattoo him, I said of course but once the quarantine is over. His mom got really upset and asked me not to tattoo him. She actually has 2 small tattoos and he has 1 or 2 that are kind of medium? She hates his tattoo and hers are pretty old and think she doesn't really like them anymore.(I offered her free of charge to fix one of them but she doesn't want to)
Anyway I dropped it.
Now we're here 2 months later and tattoo artists in my country got approval to tattoo again.
Yesterday he texted me he has a birthday tomorrow and he wants to drop by to get a tattoo and that he's also bringing his friends to get tattooed (which is amazing for me because I'm doing not very well financially due the quarantine)
I told him yes but I kind of feel guilty. I don't want his mom being upset with me because I really like her (I also take out her dog almost everyday) and I don't want her to be upset with me for tattooing him.
WIBTA if I tattoo him and without her knowledge? ###### | NTA I’d say you’d be in the clear, he’s 23, he can make his own life decisions. ###### |
I know the title sounds AWFUL, but hear me out. Throwaway in case she’s on reddit. This story happened before pandemic hit.
My roommate is a sweetheart most of the time, and I like to think that we’re pretty good friends. However, since she was randomly assigned to our apartment, I understand that she has different boundaries than I do which I respect whole-heartedly. She locks her bedroom door when shes not home, and while it does kind of sting that she’d think me or other roommate would do something nefarious, I get it. Our doors have two locks on them; both have a key, but one is flimsy. She stayed the night at her partners house one day, and has a stand alone alarm clock that she uses instead of her phone.
Well, evidently she forgot to turn off the clock and at 7AM it started beeping. I had gotten done working a night shift and was BONE tired. All I wanted was the alarm clock to go off. I called and texted her 3-4x, but she didn’t pick up. So, I went upstairs, picked the bedroom flimsy door lock with my fingernail, and turned the alarm off so I could rest. She came home and was pretty upset asking what I was doing in her room, despite me telling her that the alarm went off for a long time while she was gone. She ended up locking herself in her room and things were tense for a long while after, and I have passed her locking both locks in her room as of recently. At one point she was on the phone upstairs telling her friend how I broke into her room (thin walls). I feel awful.
Was I an asshole for essentially breaking into her room so that I could turn her alarm off? I feel like theres a weird dynamic shift now. ###### | NTA I’d be mortified if I left an alarm going that long and I wasn’t there to stop it.
That said, if it happens again, a good way to turn it off would be to turn your main breaker on and off. Then it would kill power to the alarm and you wouldn’t have to go in there! ###### |
I was contacted by a lawyer about a month after my ex died. He informed me of my ex’s death and apologized for contacting me so late. He said he had a hard time finding me. He then explained how I was still listed on his will as his sole beneficiary even though we had been divorced for over 3 years now.
He asked what address I wanted the check for his my ex’s remaining bank balance to be sent to as well as his ashes. He also informed me that my ex’s landlord could only hold onto his things for another two weeks
Since my ex still owed me a lot of money I decided to keep the $4000 that he had in the bank. It was less than what he he owed me ($12,000), but it was all I was ever going to get.
As for his ashes and his stuff I told the lawyer I didn’t want any of it.
But I do know my ex had three kids. When we were together he always refused to talk about them (red flag, I know now) and would see them maybe once a year all on his own. So I didn’t know much about them at all. Other than they lived in Texas.
So I told the lawyer that he had three kids, but I didn’t know their contact info or their last name. Just that they lived in Texas. I told him he could try looking through my ex’s stuff to see if he could find out more about them and see if they wanted any of it.
The lawyer said okay and that he would take care of it and that was pretty much the end of the conversation and I forgot about the whole thing.
It’s been about two months since that call and one of my ex’s daughters contacted me on Facebook yesterday. After a very short introduction herself she called me a bitch for just taking all his money that it should be theirs and that it was messed up leaving all his stuff to be thrown away. She said I could have at least tried to find them and that it’s my fault they now nothing to remember him by and have lost all of their family pictures from when they were little.
And that’s where I am now. ###### | NTA I've had a life insurance policy and will since I was 25. It's my responsibility to make sure in the event of my death my possessions and my family/friends are taken care of. Not theirs. ###### |
Throwaway account; he uses reddit too.
Background:My husband and I are both 27 and have been married for almost 3 years, no kids.
I have suffered with OCD for the majority of my life. I was officially diagnosed when I was 23 and finally got medication. The medication has greatly reduced my panic attacks, but it has also made me tired all the time.
My husband finds some of my OCD tics fascinating, which I don't blame him for, because I can see why he thinks that. I have talked to him about all my weirdest ones: the fact that I can't have my hands in the same position at the same time, the fact that I can't touch the mole on my neck or else I have compulsions to squeeze the skin, etc. (There are many more but those are most relevant.)
Sometimes, my husband induces my OCD to mess with me. Like if he's holding my hands and forces them into the same position to see how I'll react. I've talked to him about it and hes since stopped doing that.
Today, he playfully touched the mole on the back of my neck. I was like "we talked about this; why do you trigger my OCD on purpose?"
He went on about how I need to overcome this anxiety and he was helping with my exposure to it. I told him he's not a licensed therapist and he's just stressing me out. I've gone to therapy. I see a psychiatrist frequently. I let the professionals handle that.
I was crying about how I feel he's disrespectful of my OCD by trying to induce those feeling's on purpose. He said that he's bothered that I'm giving in to irrational fears.
Now I'm crying and trying to remove myself from the situation but he's keeps telling me it's just a mole and I need to act like people treat it in the real world. I KNOW that logically; I try to explain to him that OCD is illogical which is why I treat it with therapy and medication, and why I feel disrespected when he messes with it on purpose for no real reason.
Who's the asshole here? ###### | NTA I'm SO angry on your behalf.
Have you mentioned the word sadistic to him? The fact that he doesn't "get" OCD doesn't excuse his behavior. If you had PTSD from a home invasion, would he sneak up on you wearing a ski mask to help you _get over it_? PTSD isn't "logical" either. UGH!
So he knows enough about you, your life, your experience, psychology, brain chemistry, OCD etc that he can "fix you" simply by badgering, taunting, and tormenting you into mental health? What an ignorant, arrogant, cruel AH.
If he won't stop _torturing_ you, you'd be SO much better alone. ###### |
This is a throwaway account and I sincerely tried to word this correct.
Last year I got really sick and I lost a lot of weight, resulting with me on TPN and a feeding tube. I get 100% of my nutrition from both of these lines. I had to move back home and my mom became qualified to be my caregiver and she is being paid for helping me. When I get eat I get sick 100% of the time but I still want to be able to eat and taste food, and my doctor encourages eating so that I can maintain some function. My doctor knows I get sick and still expects me to eat and I want to eat so I do. My mother thinks I'm selfish because shes my caregiver and she knows I'll just get sick if I eat, which is more stress and anxiety for her. I talked to her over it and I told her that the majority of the time when I get sick I dont make any mess, and if I do I clean it up. She said that it's more than that because when I'm sick it adds a bunch of stress to the family because they are worrying about me instead of doing their own business. I genuinely feel bad about that but also I'm hungry. My TPN and tube bypasses my stomach so I dont get any satisfaction or fullness and I really miss food. My mom thinks I'm TAH for adding extra stress and I dont mean to be. I want to eat without it affecting anyone else but because that's impossible AITA ###### | NTA I'm NJ tube dependent as well and not eating is horrible. I do exactly the same as you. Only worry I have is that when I puke, I could flip my tube into my stomach and organising endoscopies as a single parent is a nightmare.
Surely they would be worried/stressed if you didn't eat anyway. Your body/health isn't there for their convenience. I had the same problem with using a wheelchair but my family just have to deal with it. It's hard though because when they act like that, they make your illness/body about them and add to the humiliation of the whole situation. ###### |
(On mobile so apologies for spelling and formatting)
I (19F ) have nipple piercings. I keep a simple barbell in them, nothing overly fancy or protruding. Once online classes started I stopped wearing a bra to online lectures. I figure my boobs are stable enough (they don’t really move on their own) and they probably won’t be in frame so what’s the big deal. I don’t wear tight or revealing clothing, just baggy-full sized non-cropped tees or hoodies.
The only class that I have the camera on for regularly is my 30 person advanced math proofs class. Friday, my cat knocked over my camera for less than a minute before I noticed. My piercings were outlined by the drapes (?) of my baggy shirt, but only if you know what you are looking for. I quickly fixed my camera and thought nothing better of it.
After class, my professor emailed me and asked me to “please dress more appropriately for class in the future” and that “my very obvious nipple piercings were distracting while he was trying to teach”. I honestly think this is a.) creepy af and b.) a big ask. Like I’m 600 miles from you, it was a brief thing, and my nipples were not even out. I was fully covered in a baggy, opaque black t-shirt.
I haven’t responded because I want to know if I was being the asshole by not wearing a bra. So Reddit, AITA for not wearing a bra to online lecture?
ETA: if it matters, which I think it did to him, I am the only woman out of this class of 30 ###### | NTA I'm my opinion you were dressed appropriately, what wasn't appropriate was him bringing up your "obvious nipple piercing" ###### |
Throwaway because some of my cousins might recognize the situation.
I won't mince words: I'm (22F) the product of an affair. My father comes from a wealthy family and is a businessman in Asia, and my mother used to be a flight attendant in the 90s. My dad has always been there when I was growing up, even if my mom and I live in the US, and has provided for us financially. His “real” family knows about me: he and his wife “Sarah” got married out of business convenience and she’s never resented me or made me feel bad in any way. I’ve always respected her for letting me have a relationship with my older brothers, and letting me come with their family on summer vacations. She even sent our family flowers when my mom got married a few years ago. Sadly Sarah passed away from cancer a few months ago. It’s been rough on my dad and brothers, she was a wonderful, kind woman and I miss her a lot.
Sarah was very, very wealthy and left my brothers a significant inheritance. Apparently she also left me something in her will: a few thousand dollars. I burst into tears when my brothers called me with the news, I didn’t expect her to even acknowledge me in any way as her husband’s bastard child even if we had a good relationship. The problem is my family: my uncles and grandma think that I shouldn’t accept the money because I’m “not family.” My brothers have been saying that over in their country, Sarah’s family is also contesting the will to remove me because I’m not her daughter or related to her in any way. I’ve been feeling pressured to not accept the money even if my dad and brothers say I have every right to accept it. AITA for thinking about taking my inheritance? ###### | NTA I'm glad you had so many wonderful people that loved you. She wanted you to have it and it made her happy yo give it yo you. ###### |
My son is a 3rd grade elementary student going on his 4th week of online classroom due to the covids. Today my wife received a call from the principal saying another parent called reported that my son was a distraction because he was spinning in his chair. I find it creepy that another parent would be watching all the students videos. My son has been doing very good adapting and he has been staying on task with his scheduled daily assignments and online meeting times. I called the teacher after work and the teacher said what my son did was not a big deal. I want to call the principal tomorrow to complain about the parent. ###### | NTA I'm a teacher and if a student is doing something that can disrupt class (even online class) I would talk to that student and, if things didn't change with the parents. As your said, the teacher was not bothered. The other parent is the AH.
Also, it's almost impossible for kids to stay super quiet in school, imagine at home... Your son did nothing wrong.
Edit about my english: english is not my 1st language and I don't live on an english speaking country, so sorry about the bad grammar and typos (: ###### |
A coworker committed insurance fraud and bragged through the office about it. We work for the insurance company. There is an investigation into her conduct. She is saying that we all knew about it and we are just as guilty so we should all be fired too. AITA for telling the investigators all the info they need like when she claimed and how. It was for a mobile phone. She said she left it on the top of her car then drove off. But her husband was still using the phone until the day the replacement arrived and then he sold it to a friend. So they got a new phone, and money for the old one. It was only about $900 but it's still fraud. And she still wanders around the office like she didn't do anything wrong. She is work friend but I would rather have my job than her in my life. AITA?? ###### | NTA I wouldn't just be throwing her under the bus, I'd be the one driving it. Insurance fraud is a good way to fuck up your life and she was an idiot for doing that. The fact that she was trying to drag yall down with her shows what a great friend she was anyways. ###### |
My husband and I (24m and 21f) are expecting a baby boy in August and a lot of the family wants to come visit us once he’s born to see him. One family member is my cousin, Nicky (21f). Nicky and I are close in age and pretty much grew up together. She’s always been a very entitled and mean spirited person because her parents never disciplined her, and we even grew apart as we got older because of it. At our family get together yesterday, Nicky started making rude remarks to her boyfriend and parents. I ignored most of what she said until I heard her say something about how I married an “ugly, fat guy” because I was desperate. I told Nicky that was extremely hurtful to my husband and that her boyfriend was no prize either. She then went off about the baby, saying he was going to be ugly and that she hoped he was going to be born with various disabilities. She even said something about shaking him if she ever got her hands on him. This was the last straw for me and I told her that she’s not allowed anywhere near our baby when he’s born and that she can go ‘F’ herself for saying such a terrible thing. My aunt, Nicky’s mom, said that’s extremely selfish of me and that Nicky was just kidding and deserves a relationship with my son. I refuse to change my mind about this and never want her to see my baby if I can help it. Am I the asshole for deciding this? ###### | NTA I wouldn't have someone like that around my kids either, I'd block her and her mother. ###### |
My sister has been dating this guy for the past year or so, and I really don't like him because he's been arrested, has been caught with drugs, is very loud and obnoxious, and neither do our parents, but she's held strong with this guy and refuses to let anybody separate them.
We have a younger brother who was born deaf who has tried his best to be civil towards the boyfriend, but not long ago, I came across my sister and him talking about how dumb he was and mocking him and just generally being cruel. (He primarily communicates through Sign Language, but has started to make attempts to talk out loud)
Later that day, I brought it up my sister and she said that I shouldn't be so angry about it, but I told her that it wasn't right and that she and her boyfriend were acting like he didn't have a brain. This escalated into a fight that ended with us not speaking and me refusing to talk to her boyfriend.
Recently, my parents allowed my sister to have her boyfriend over and I refused to make the usual small talk. She got angry, he got angry, but I refused. My sister accused me of being angry just for the sake of being angry and that I was being ridiculous. To back me up, I involved our older brother in the fight and he sided with me.
For any needed context, to avoid creating a rift, I didn't tell our younger brother about what my sister had been saying. ###### | NTA I would wait till all of you are in the same room and just casually ask him
"So what other disabilities do you make fun of people for having?"
for when your sister gets mad
"I cant believe you're willing to settle for a guy who insults your deaf brother, you must think very little of yourself if you think you can't do better than that." ###### |
We (30/27) have been together for four years. We've both been laid off due to Corona and have been home for a few months now. The thing is that he's become veeeery lazy during it.
I'm constantly cooking, doing housework, try to go for walks with him or doing ANYTHING, but all he wants is sit on the couch, play PS4, watch TV, listen to music, and drink beer. I'm terribly bored and start to feel like his mum.
Anyway, I went running today and when I came back, I was knackered. I hadn't eaten yet, so when he went to the kitchen to make food for the first time in days, I happily went for a relaxed shower and then waited on the couch for the nicely smelling meal.
Finally, he came out of the kitchen with one bowl. I asked if I was going to have some, too. He just looked at me baffled and said "I thought you didn't want any". I thought he was joking, but he continued to eat his massive bowl right in front of me, knowing I was starving.
I asked if he could make me something, too, which was declined. He wanted to play PS4 now, I would have to wait, he said.
We continued to have an argument which ended in both of us ignoring each other.
Am I the asshole here? I can make my own food, but I thought it was inconsiderate of him to not think of me or even ask (as I always cook for him), especially after I worked out and was obviously hungry. And then get so worked up about me asking for some food. This might be me being hangry, so I'd love some perspective.
Thank you! ###### | NTA i would start just cooking for myself and if he came in expecting food I’d be like well you didn’t ask and now I’m busy so sucks to suck. 🤷🏼♀️ ###### |
I'm(19f) in college and due to some circumstances I got a decent amount of money. My sister(23f) is out of college and living on her own now. She is extremely bothered that I have money. But when she asked for a small amount I gave it to her without another thought even though she still owed me money from a different time.
I decided to build a PC with my money because I have never had a new computer before. I was excited so I talked about it with her but in no way was I doing it immodestly. This was when she told me she didn't like that I had so much money and she didn't want to talk about it or know what I'm doing with it. I told her "ok, that's fair but if you're gonna pretend the money doesnt exist then don't ask for money or borrow money from me". I also told her that I have never had a new computer before where as she has gotten 2 brand new mac books in her lifetime. She said it wasn't comparable because she got into a program in highschool so that's why she got it. She got the other laptop in college. So basically, she is saying I don't deserve new things because I never achieved the same things (that's the way I see it).
AITA for telling my sister that she shouldnt ask for money or to borrow money if she wants to pretend that it doesn't exist? ###### | NTA I would say bringing up the money you gave her previously may have not been the best option for being civil but all you’re trying to do is show you’re happy about this development. Gives her no reason to treat you like you can’t tell them anything at all just because you have a little more money to go around. ###### |
I (25F) have been staying at home with my family for the last two month. My family wanted me to spend quarantine with them, so I have been working from my parents house since.
My mom and dad (50s), sister (12), and I have been going on daily evening walks with our two dogs - one is mine and the other our family dog. This is usually a great and enjoyable time for our family. For the last week, my dad and sister really got into a game called “Poop Tag”, it’s basically where after the dogs poop and the bag is tied they throw the dog poop bag at each other and my mom and I.
I hate this game. I don’t like getting poop, even if it’s in a bag, thrown at me and I don’t find it funny. I told them multiple times I would not walk with them if this continued. I think they thought I was joking, because they would not stop AND added new components to this game - wave poop above my head, pretend to hit me with it with large swings.
Two days ago I refused to go on walks with them anymore and now just walk my dog alone. They’ve since apologized to me and my mom for this game and has asked me to rejoin our family walks. I do miss our family walks and probably want to rejoin, but am still really mad about the poop tag. I want to wait it out for a couple more days to get over this. Am I being unreasonable here? ###### | NTA I would have done the same thing. It's not a 'fun family activity' if one of the family members is having a shit time
Go on another walk and see if they start behaving ###### |
Throwaway I don't want to post on my main account because my girlfriend follows it
My girlfriend is an artist as her hobby she is pretty good. Last year I started drawing as way to cope with a passing of my father. I ended up being decent after a while and I thought I should start improving my art skills and being professional about it. I ended up drawing "famous" manga characters in the sketch book and real life items.
I showed some of the mutual friends between me and my girlfriend and they liked mine a lot. Recently our mutual friends have stopped liking my girlfriends artwork and started liking mine more. I never brag about it to my girlfriend. yesterday a mutual friend was visiting out apartment and told me that my artwork is better than my girlfriends. My girlfriend heard that and became really mad at me and said that I stole the one thing she was better at than me.
So last night my girlfriend told me she got rid of the sketch book because i was spending to much time on it. This sketch book I had since my fathers passing and had my first artwork. She told me that I was not taking care of the dog which is the reason she threw away the art book. I spend at least 2 hours with the dog after work. I explained to her I was upset with what she did with my sketch book.
My girlfriend then told me that she threw it away because I stole her hobby from her. She said it was never really my hobby and it was only her hobby. She said I should not feel bad about throwing the notebook and I should be grateful for her actions. So now I am wondering if I was the asshole for stealing girlfriends hobby and then for being upset she threw out my sketch book. ###### | NTA I would get away from the gf that's pretty crazy also your friends are kinda assholes for comparing you both ###### |
I have a friend who has owed me $2,300 since mid March. Her dog needed emergency surgery, I put it on a credit card since he needed immediate treatment. I am not wealthy and it's a lot of money to me. Things have been tough for her financially and personally lately, so I haven't mentioned it. She just kicked out her boyfriend a couple weeks ago, so she's in a very fragile place.
However, she just got all of her backpay unemployment (finally.) I didn't ask the exact number, but I'm pretty sure it's somewhere around 15k. She's gone on a crazy shopping spree and bought a MacBook, Camera, etc. She's been wanting to start a YouTube channel for a while, and I'm happy she's finally doing it. She needs a hobby.
She hasn't mentioned paying me back yet, and I hate to bring it up. I know she is already having a difficult enough time, and she is a good friend that I don't want to make her life worse, but I have been stressing over this debt for months.
WIBTA If I told her I need to be paid back now? ###### | NTA I would bring it up before she spends it all tbh. You lent the hand and helped out. Now it’s her turn to pay it back. ###### |
Hello
So today I (22m) was at a house/pool party at my cousin's house (restrictions are being lifted here) I didn't know a ton of people there, so I was mostly just drinking soda, people watching, and spending time on my phone lol.
At one point, a kid (1.5ish) toddled past me and headed straight for the pool. I didn't know the kid, nor was I sure if "their adult" was around. I was lounging and he walked past me about three feet away, so not within grabbing distance unless I got up.
I watched as the kid got closer to the pool, and when I realized he wasn't going to stop, I sat up and started saying "uhhh" pretty loud. Before anyone heard me though, he fell into the pool and the pretty loud splash alerted his dad, who quickly jumped in after him.
The kid was fine, just a little spooked, but my cousin screamed at me for not stopping him, when I had seen the kid go past.
But 1. I don't know the kid 2. Wasn't close enough to grab him without getting up 3. I started saying something to alert other people 4. His parents should've kept a closer eye on him
My cousin eventually just asked me to leave, and her fam is mad at me.
Tl:Dr - I watched an unknown toddler head for a pool and didn't grab him
AITA? ###### | NTA I work with kids and I still probably would have had a similar reaction. I don't have fast reflexes outside of my job because I don't want parents to be freaked out by my concern with children since I don't actually have kids. It was a matter of seconds, not minutes where you had tons of time to think - and you didn't know who the parent was or where they were. I assume there were adults all around who could have been mom/dad.
I think your cousin's reaction was strange. Not everyone thinks, "Shit, I should get up and pick up that strange child whose family I don't know!" during an otherwise innocuous event. ###### |
I was having lunch with a friend of mine when the topic of dating came up, I told her I wasn’t dating anyone right now and was keen to get back out there.
She mentioned that she had a friend that she thinks I would be a good match with and was also looking to start dating too. She took out her phone and showed me a picture, I was pleasantly surprised and said set it up. She said she would message her and send a picture of me to her too.
Then she said that it might not be soon as she has trouble finding a babysitter, I said oh, she has a kid? My friend said 2. I was a little disappointed and I think my friend picked up on that and she said if that was a problem? I said yes honestly, I’d prefer to date someone without kids. My friend said but you liked her picture and I said yes, she is really pretty but dating moms aren’t my thing and are more trouble than they are worth.
She looked a little offended and said you’ve told me you wanted kids one day, I said yes my own not someone else’s. She sat and look perplexed and said I was a dick for turning her down for that reason. I told her I’m sure she’s nice, just not for me. Lunch ended quickly after this. I later got a text saying I disappointed her and she would never try and set me up again. I just replied with I’m sorry you feel that way but we all have our standards.
AITA here? ###### | NTA I was a single mom. If you're not into the kids, don't waste her time and money on a sitter. ###### |
Ok ok, first thing first i have nothing against marijuana at all. I think its very beneficial for people who use it to control anxiety and calm them down, zero judgment there.
But my girlfriend is seriously reliant on the stuff. Like, if she ever gets a stomachache, she almost always goes for weed over any other remedy. And now if she doesnt get a smoke in often, her stomach hurts so bad she barley moves. She also smokes before most meals, and has told me in the past that her thoughts are always drifting towards her next hit, even when we're having a great time, or staying with my family.
I think that if she could get this under control it could be more healthy, but some people tell me I'm an asshole for even thinking about interfering with her smoking. And she occasionally guilt trips me when I suggest we help her control it.
AITA for wanting to help her reel back her weed usage? ###### | NTA I used to smoke weed like a crack junkie. Couldn’t eat or do anything without it. I don’t know if it’s inherently addictive but for me (an addict) anything can become addictive and weed was my number 1 drug of choice. I also have NOTHING against weed or people who smoke it. I just cannot smoke it without turning into a junkie over it so I have to abstain completely. That’s just my experience. I also know that no one else could have gotten me to that conclusion. I had to realize on my own that it was a problem. Anyone who criticized my use or tried to get in the way was going to be collateral damage. The only thing you can do is accept that you have zero control over her behavior and it truly sucks but it’s the truth. ###### |
Ok ok, first thing first i have nothing against marijuana at all. I think its very beneficial for people who use it to control anxiety and calm them down, zero judgment there.
But my girlfriend is seriously reliant on the stuff. Like, if she ever gets a stomachache, she almost always goes for weed over any other remedy. And now if she doesnt get a smoke in often, her stomach hurts so bad she barley moves. She also smokes before most meals, and has told me in the past that her thoughts are always drifting towards her next hit, even when we're having a great time, or staying with my family.
I think that if she could get this under control it could be more healthy, but some people tell me I'm an asshole for even thinking about interfering with her smoking. And she occasionally guilt trips me when I suggest we help her control it.
AITA for wanting to help her reel back her weed usage? ###### | NTA I use marijuana daily for pain, but I also stop periodically to make sure I can. Also, it can cause nausea and stomach pain in some people. Her cure may be aggravating her situation ###### |
I live in an apartment. Second floor, covered but outdoor walkway, medium walk from the street. I pay $8-12 from my limited means (I don't have a car, also due to limited means) to have groceries brought to me from walmart.
So here's the issue. Someone always seems to say "Oh could ya come down to the car and get your groceries?" or something of the like. And I think- *no! I checked "contactless delivery." I paid you! I have several good reasons (a bad back and heavy items among them) to pay to have groceries brought to me. Do your job!*
There was at least one time when it was an older woman who complained of hip trouble when telling me to carry them myself. Which I did, cheerfully. But... why are you hiring someone to carry groceries who can't or won't carry groceries? Is it so wrong to just ask for what I paid for? ###### | NTA I understand the delivery person not wanting to carry groceries up stairs, but everyone has parts of their jobs that they don't like doing. You do them anyway, because *it's your job.* You paid for a service and you should receive that service. ###### |
I'm working at home for now and thus doing frequent Zoom meetings. One of my co-workers has started in these meetings whenever she has to state her name and position also stating "my pronouns are she and her" after that. No one really seems to care either way and hasn't acknowledged that, and no one else has started doing so. She also now has them in the signature of her email.
We were recently chatting in the IM app and then she asked me why I or anyone else hasn't done this too. This is likely because we were kind of close in the office. I just told her I don't see a need and everyone already knows I'm a guy and I look like one (I even have a beard.) She got kind of upset and said that's not the point and it's about creating a more inclusive workplace but she's getting frustrated no one else is doing so. She told me it's makes things more inclusive for trans people, but we have no trans employees as far as I can tell and if we do they've transitioned so much and so effectively they are recognizable as such and would probably just want to be treated as normal. So I flat out told her that I won't be stating pronouns anywhere and don't find it necessary. She seemed to take it kind of person and has lately been a bit bitter to me, probably realizing if she can't sway me to it no one else will. I've always found our workplace inclusive and open-minded anyway and don't see how this'll help anyone.
So am I being any type of asshole? ###### | NTA I understand her argument that “saying your pronouns makes those who feel they need to clarify feel less singled out”, but announcing it at the beginning of each meeting feels forced and (from what you describe) unnecessary.
Like, are you meeting with new people each time or is she just constantly reminding her coworkers that already know her? ###### |
My husband wants to go camping with another couple and our one year old this weekend at a park that is 3 1/2 hours away. He wants the both of us to call out of work so we can start driving up there early tomorrow morning. Neither of us have PTO to use so, I told him I don’t want to go unless we go somewhere closer so I can at least go to work. He refuses to compromise so I told him he can just go by himself. We cannot afford to each lose a day of work. We would also have to buy a tent, food, and other things you need while camping. He thinks I am being an asshole but, I feel like I’m being financially responsible.
Am I TA here? ###### | NTA I think you sound like you’re being very reasonable. Also, as someone who has done a lot of camping in her life, I’d say it’s better to pick somewhere close to home for your first trip. Especially with a baby. That way if you forget something, one of you can easily run home and grab it. ###### |
So the way I make toast when I make a full breakfast is a bit weird. I toast it twice on the lowest setting so it's fresh and warm when I've finished with the fry pan. It's just easier to time things that way, and it's how I like to cook.
My SO doesn't understand why I do this, and wants me to change it back to his preferred setting when I'm done, so he doesn't accidentally come up with slightly toasted bread instead of brown.
I maintain that he's a big boy and can change the setting just like I do when I go to use it.
His arguments are that it's weird how I do my toast (he's repeatedly asked me to re-explain because he just doesn't get it) , and when I change the setting its like "putting the kettle setting on 50 degrees and not changing it back".
I feel like this disagreement is so stupid and I have no need to explain why I like to cook the way I do, but it keeps coming up so I'm honestly wondering if I'm going crazy or really being THAT inconsiderate. AITA? ###### | NTA I think the default should be for whoever likes the less brown toast. You can always toast more, but you can’t un-toast. ###### |
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