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I f16 and my brother m29 usually get along well but since i was about 10 years old all responability of his daughter f8 has fallen on me. I love my niece so much, shes always been the sweetest kid and i love to play with her, shes like my mini me, but for 2 weeks straight its just like havinv my own kid.
My brother and his ex have split custody and we have my niece 2 weeks out of the month and while shes in i do everything! Getting her ready in the morning, cooking for her, doing her hair, helping her wash her hair in the bath, doing all homework and bedtime reading and playing ALL DAY. I dont mind helping out with her but its expected of me and it can get really Frustrating, especially when i have to stay home from plans and babysit without pay so he can go out. So WITBA if i told him its not my job to raise his child? ######
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NTA. Y'all need to have a serious discussion about how much work he's offloading onto you. ######
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First, my sister and I are twins. We did the SAT during March 14, and we made a deal with each other. Whoever got the lower score would do the other person’s chores for the entire summer break. We both agreed on this, and we asked our mother to enforce it. Obviously minors can’t enter contracts, but our mom is the supreme authority on chores.
It turns out that I barely got higher than her. I have a 1500, while she got a 1480. I still beat her; therefore, I am chore-free for the entire summer. It turns out, she didn’t want to do that. She didn’t do my chores for the entire week, and then she got in trouble for it. She’s semi-grounded until she does all the chores.
I still fold my own laundry, and we all wash our own dishes. She just has to do extra stuff, like mow and fertilize the lawn, etc. She’s very mad at me now, for obvious reasons. She wants me to do my share of the chores. The thing is, we had an agreement. I’m positive that if I got the worse score, then she’d not care that I would’ve to do more chores.
I’m not going to relinquish her of her duty, but I just want to see how wrong I am.
So, AITA? ######
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NTA. Y'all made a deal, and there's no extenuating circumstances. She just doesn't want to do it.
But for the sake of your relationship, consider calling the whole thing off, unless you want to spend the rest of the summer having this argument. ######
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We have been married for 7 years. The first half, at least was pretty rough. He kept several flirtationships hidden. Some went too far. We have worked on things and it’s been pretty quiet but I know I still have some lingering trust issues. A few days ago he started messaging the woman that cuts his hair to see if she would come over to our house to cut his hair. I let him know I wasn’t comfortable with that for a lot of reasons, mostly not having some stranger walking around the house. He took my objection as insecurity and let me know he talks to attractive women all the time. He then told me a funny story about his coworker betting him $20 that he couldn’t get an attractive woman’s name in 1 minute at a place they were working. He got her name, it just took a little longer than a minute. I was thrown off by that and let him know I didn’t think that was ok. He told me” I thought we were past all that”. I personally didn’t think it was a cute story but now he’s made it clear he just won’t tell me so I don’t overreact. AITA for taking issue with his bet? Or objecting to having a random person over at the house? ######
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NTA. Wtf. Your husband has no respect for you. If this is something that you are uncomfortable with, and you have expressed this to him, and he continues to do it, he is not being fair to you at all. This is not normal behavior, and in my opinion, borders on emotional cheating. The fact that he dismisses your concerns as “insecurities” is even worse. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. ######
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Yesterday was my \[24f\] birthday. My boyfriend already said he'd take me out for dinner to celebrate since last week, and I let my family know maybe 3-4 days ago. (for those of you wondering about lockdown, I live in a country where we have had restrictions relaxed as new cases have been in the low digits for a month)
Birthdays have never been big in my family. I haven't received gifts from either of my parents since i turned 15 and the occasion never warranted much except perhaps dinner outside. So to compensate, I suggested yesterday that we celebrate my birthday today instead. Neither of my parents said anything. I made the reservation earlier today, and now we're getting ready to go out.
My mum decides to tell me that my dad is not going because he's mad at me for going out for dinner yesterday with my boyfriend rather than spending it with my family. She said I'm in the wrong for choosing to spend it with my boyfriend, and that she and my dad are not going to dinner today. Obviously, I was confused and mildly pissed. I don't think I'm TA for choosing who to spend my birthday with. It's not like my dad even cares about for birthday for the past 10 years; no cards, no gifts, not even a verbal 'happy birthday' have I ever received. That was the case yesterday too; only my mum wished me happy birthday. So I was perplexed as to why he would suddenly be angry at me for not spending my birthday with him. And there's the dinner today that I already told my family I've made reservations for; he's just making it worse by saying he's not going.
AITA here? ######
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NTA. Wtf? How can they seriously expect you to want to spend your birthday with them when they haven’t cared for the past 10 years? You want to spend it with someone who actually cares about you and that’s completely fine. Plus, you invited them to dinner tonight so I don’t see their problem. Clearly they’re jealous. ######
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When I was still dating my wife I spent a christmas at her place and with her family. They had this bullshit rule that I couldn't see teh family opening up their presents so they told me to wait in the basemnt. I didn't think it would tkae so long but it took 2-3 hours.
My gf's sisters' bfs were down there too. The three of us played pool and one of htem brought a bunch of beers so we actually had a lot of fun. One of them had been in this situation for a previous christmas or two so he came prepared this time with all the beers. We became really good friends after this actually. I normally would've said fuck this but my apartment and my family were in other states so I couldn't. After about 2-3 hours they let us out of the basement and we were a fairly drunk.
Family is pissed off but what did they expect, they ditched us for several hours in the basemnt, that was hella fucked up. Its bullshit that we couldn't be there for that, especially since my girlfriend and some of their family members got me gifts and I brought gifts for 10 people in that room. (basically everyone i knew personally).
we had the christmas lunch/supper or whatever nad when it was time for us to leave they asked me how did i enjoy the Christams party and I said it sucked but hte best part was chilling with the boys down in the basemnt. Girlfriend was kind of pissed and so was the family. I havn't apologized since and my wife is telling me i need to post this here to see who's right. I was still drunk when that happened and honestly i feel bad for getting drunk on christmas, im not sure if that was right and not because of the family, but i feel like that might have been disrespectful to Jesus though im not sure, if any priests/pastors are here , tell me if that was wrong. Anyways i dont think i owe my wife's family na apology cuz what they did was messed up yo ######
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NTA. Wtf kind of rule is that? If that's their tradition then they shouldn't invite non family, or maybe don't do gifts while you have company. They were incredibly rude especially since you and others brought gifts to exchange. What the hell are they getting each other that their guests need to be kept in the dark. ######
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I know it’s a weird title, sorry. Also on mobile so layout might be strange.
So around a year ago I (M15) was diagnosed with Leukemia. Six months later and I was having a life saving bone marrow transplant. I was in the same room for a month, tired and sleeping 6 hours a day and 12 at night. I have now (almost) fully recovered but my muscles have a while to go before I am back to my fully fit self. I can walk and jump but I can’t run or joy without lots of effort and pain in my joints.
Anyway today I went on a dog walk with my mother (44) and my sister (12). My sister has a brain tumour, diagnosed just a few months after me. Unlucky, I know. She has to wear a splint on her leg and has extremely limited movement in her right arm and leg.
Halfway through the walk our dog, who’s an 18 week old puppy runs to see a dog. My mum is holding the lead and lets go, meaning our puppy can now run off to see the other dog. My mum has for some reason come out wearing sandals and therefore can’t run after him. She doesn’t even make the effort. She instantly looks back at me and yells ‘well run then!’ I say back: ‘I can’t!’ I give a desperate attempt to jog but it hurts too much to run. Our puppy at this point is simply wagging his tail 5 feet away and sniffing the other dog. Not moving anywhere. My mum walks up to him and grabs his lead, then looks back at me and says, ‘it’s like I have to babysit for you all the time. You can’t do anything by yourself. It’s like you’re a 5 year old.’ I can’t argue back because she hates being wrong. She doesn’t take a single bit of the blame even though she dropped the lead in the first place. AITA for not trying to run?
TL:DR I had to have a bone marrow transplant and stayed in a bed for ages, meaning it hurts lots to run. On a dog walk and mum let’s go of lead, expects me to run after dog. I try but can’t. She calls me a 5 year old and makes me feel embarrassed and like an asshole. AITA for not running after the dog? ######
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NTA. WTF is wrong with your mom? ######
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Recently we found out some information about my brother in law’s baby momma. The pair is separated, but not divorced, and share custody of their children. My husband’s sister told us that his brother’s baby mama showed up at her house driving drunk, with the children in the car. This woman and his brother have three children together, all under the age of 12. One of the children (6) had also told her that their mom had let them go swimming that day and talked about how she had helped her little sister (4) back onto the steps when she fell off. His sister said that it was none of her business and that she was not going to tell their brother.
Of course, later that night I pressed the issue with my husband. He was extremely uncomfortable about it. I kept telling him that I love those children and that I couldn’t not bear the thought of anything happening to them and that he needed to tell his brother about the incident. Finally, after pressing the issue until the next morning he sent a text to his brother explaining what he had heard.
A few nights ago we also learned that the baby mama had been involuntarily admitted into the hospital for mental health reasons. She told my husband’s brother that she couldn’t pick up the kids because she was “sick”. No one in the family wants to tell him the real reason because it is “not my business”.
I went off on my husband about this. I feel that no one is taking the safety of these kids seriously. I understand that not all mentally ill people are at risk of harming their children, but the father of the children definitely has a right to know. I also don’t understand why his whole family (his sister, his brother, and his mother) are keeping this from him. I told my husband that it is his business if he cares about his nieces and nephews. He told me to not stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. He refuses to tell his brother about what has happened. I have told him that if he doesn’t, then I will.
AITA? ######
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NTA. Wtf is wrong with your husband’s family? It is absolutely their business that their very young relatives are being put in dangerous situations. ######
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Keeping somethings vague because otherwise, they are too identifiable
My husband and I have known each other for 12+ years, married for 7. We have kinky sex lives, and I am not straight (bi), I dated women before him. But we have always had a monogamous relationship. About 2 years ago he started kidding about a threesome (or so I thought), and I laughed it off as sex talk or what you say when you are kinda drunk. Whatever.
I am not actually opposed to the idea, but I think there has to be a larger (sober) conversation about boundaries, expectations, ect .... which we have never had because it wasnt a real possibility to me. He would in the heat of sex talk dirty about how much he would like to see me and another girl, but I thought it was just that, dirty talk.
Fast-forward to now, I find out (because he told me during sex) that not only has he posted pictures of me to reddit without me knowing but that he has been talking to a woman that commented on the picture about setting up a threesome. He set her pictures of me, and sent her a dick pic next to a ruler .... He volunteered all of this, and then later gave me his reddit password like there was nothing wrong .....
For so many reasons I am upset. This is a man I have trusted for 12 years, and I feel like he used me overnight and doesnt see whats wrong with it. I actually havent confronted him yet because I dont know if I am overreacting .... I never actually said no, I thought it was obvious and that we were roleplaying. ######
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NTA. Wtf is wrong with him. Talking dirty is one thing, sending dick pics and nudes of your wife without her permission or knowledge is an entirely different thing. What a douche. ######
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Needless to say, I've bee dating this girl for a month and granted sometimes she likes to dress a little tomboyish every now and then but she lives an hour away and when she gets ready to leave my place to head home, I always find her putting on one of my outfits and trying to wear it when she heads home and I'm not just talking a shirt, I'm talking a shirt, pants, underwear, hat, etc, etc. Just last week she started to put on my belt and when I saw her I told her please not to use my belt because it's $40 and I use it every day because I only have the one. Well, guess what, she still wore it without me knowing and I have yet to see my belt back and he acts like when I bring this up that I'm so inconsiderate and she's going to bring it back and try to make me feel bad for being upset about her wearing my stuff when she shouldn't be touching it at all especially if she hasn't even asked if she can. Like when I found her wearing the whole outfit I kinda snapped and just asked her in what part of the world is it okay to put on someone else clothes without even asking and just start wear it when you leave to head back home and think there's nothing wrong with it and its okay. So when I snapped a little-told her a simple rule that I was taught growing up is #If it's not yours then don't touch it. Especially if you haven't even asked if you could touch/use/borrow the item that's not even yours in the first place." Well after gave her think a small bit of advice she started acting like a smart ass and saying sorry, just sorry for trying to look good for a job interview that I have. Sorry. (The outfit she was wearing what a untuck Buttondown with pink flamingos and levis boot cut khakis. That didn't even look interview worthy) So am I the Asshole. ######
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NTA. Wtf is wrong with her? I thought you were going to say that she wanted to take home one of your sweaters or something (I disagree with even doing that, but I would at least be more sympathetic), but taking whole outfits? That's... weird. Definitely not okay and you are right to be upset. ######
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Okay, so a bit of a backstory here: I’m a teenager, so naturally i still live with my mom (my parents are divorced). I tend to have problems sleeping that result in me staying up until like three am. This doesn’t affect my energy throughout the day or anything, it’s just what I need to do to actually be able to sleep. Sleeping medication doesn’t work for me. So I’m always awake whenever the following occurs.
My mom doesn’t usually have trouble sleeping, but she does sometimes. And when she does, she thinks that the best thing for her to do is to crawl into my bed and try to snuggle with me. This makes me wildly uncomfortable because I dislike being touched like that unless I’m the one initiating. It’s also very uncomfortable for me physically because she tends to have warm skin and I absolutely hate heat when I sleep. I sleep without covers and with the fan on as high as I can set it. It’s also just really weird to me. I’m sixteen, and I feel as if she isn’t respecting my personal space and boundaries. I’ve brought the fact that I dislike this up to her and she still continues to do this. I have no idea why.
Today, I was up late, as I typically am, and she came in to try to get in my bed. I literally scooted as far away from her as I possibly could and kept shaking her off and asking her stuff like “why are you in my bed” and whatnot. She eventually left after a few minutes ( she usually stays for longer ). I know for a fact that in the morning, she’s going to make a comment about how it was rude of me to not let her cuddle with me in bed. But it genuinely makes me so uncomfortable and I hate it, and I’ve brought this up with her.
AITA for not letting her stay in my bed? ######
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NTA. Wow. That is....disturbing levels of breaking boundaries. ######
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So my parents have been having issues for as long as I can remember, but the last few months it has gotten worse. Today my parents called me (F21) and my little brother downstairs to announce they're getting a divorce. My dad was adamant in saying "this is your mom's doing, I don't want this, all the hurt is on her", without ever reflecting on his own wrongdoings in this relationship.
I fully understand that he is hurt in this situation and that he doesn't want to hear from his own daughter that she agrees to a divorce- Basically agreeing to breaking up the family. I tried to explain that I rather see them happy separately and that a house filled with arguments and emotional manipulation isn't a good place for me and my little brother.
He interrupted me saying that he called me down to have his "semi-adult" daughter try to mend their relationship and support them in fixing their marriage- like a mediator. He stood up, pointed his finger in my face, and said: "I'm disappointed, disappointed, disappointed. Here you are siding with your mom to wreck this family.".
I know it wasn't the answer he wanted to hear, but how can he expect me to lie and side with him when I don't agree at all? I have tried in the past to help my parents out- my mom had compromised tremendously and my dad simply can't see what is so frustrating to my mom (the fact that he just can't see his inability to put himself into someone else's shoes and understanding people can have a different opinion without it making him the bad guy).
So, I suppose what I am wondering is: am I the asshole for having said what I said in a very polite way? I've been crying my eyes out for over an hour now. Just hearing my dad say I'm a disappointment so unapologetically really fucking hurts. ######
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NTA. Wow, I am so sorry you had to go through that. Your mother is clearly unhappy in this marriage, and you’re incredibly strong for resisting your father’s attempts to emotionally manipulate his children in an attempt to force her to stay. ######
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I (25f) have recently gotten engaged to my girlfriend (24f) and both of us are very excited. We have been dating since college and have a house and have adopted a child together. We are both very excited to get married and are planning on doing so as soon a Coronavirus is over. Recently I got some messages on Facebook from my family. Now, I’m not really that close with my family as when they found out that I was a lesbian they kicked me out and pretty much disowned me. They heard that I had gotten engaged from a family friend who I am still close with and messaged me asking why I hadn’t told them about my engagement, who was the lucky man and when was the wedding. I haven’t spoken to them for 6 years so I am very shocked that they reached out to me. I messaged them back saying that I’m engaged to a woman and that they could come as long as they didn’t make a fuss about me marrying a woman. They agreed and at the time I thought the discussion was over. Yesterday my fiancé came crying to me and showed me the messages that she’d gotten. My family had found her on the internet and had sent her hateful messages saying that she’s a whore and she’s going to hell for marrying a woman. Naturally I was furious and immediately messaged them to tell them that they had no right to treat her in that way and that they should get their heads out of their asses and understand that I have every right to marry who I want to. The responses that I got to this were horrible and both me and my fiancé are very upset. I responded to them saying that they’re banned from the wedding until they start treating my fiancé with some respect. I got messages of my aunts and cousins saying that I’m being to harsh here and that I just need to suck it up. All my friends are in agreement with my cousins. AITA here? ######
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NTA. Wow there's a lot here. Firstly, congrats on your engagement! Your fiance sounds like a lovely, lucky woman. Secondly, screw your family. They don't get to say awful things to you and the woman you love all the while expecting to party on your dime.
Don't invite them.
Your friends have never encountered such personal hate before, so they don't get a say. ######
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My friend has had a crush on me for years now and knows that I do not reciprocate the feelings and nothing will ever happen between us.
I generally feel uneasy and uncomfortable with people saving my pictures on their phone as I find it really creepy.
A few months ago I found out he did that and even put my picture as his phone wallpaper and even whatsapp wallpaper. We got into a huge fight and he agreed to delete them off his phone and change the wallpaper. Now I found out he has my picture as a “home” wallpaper not the lock screen one. When I got mad about it he got defensive and said its just the lock screen so no one will see it. I know this seems really silly and stupid but from my pov we agreed on this topic awhile ago and its such a boundary issue.
Am i overreacting? Aita? ######
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NTA. WOW that is creepy. You're not overreacting at all. ######
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I spend a lot of time either working from home or running my business from home so my wife and I decided I could use a spare room as my office. I turned it into a sort of library/office over the years and on top of all my bookcases and shelves I've placed models and figurines that I've made and or collected. [These are](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dz4xxb4WwAAavnL.jpg) examples of [some of the things](https://twitter.com/FinalFantasy/status/842760746463387648/photo/3) [that I have displayed](https://www.thewebernets.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/tech_seawater_03.jpg). None of my models of figurines are scantily clad women or dolls before you make that claim. Mostly planes and boats.
I still spend time with my family, I contribute to the household chores and I don't lock myself away in my office. My wife however said that all my models and such are childish and that she gets embarrassed when people come round to stay or visit. I pointed out that she's covered our bedroom in plushies and she said that's not the same. I was told to hide or get rid of the models and figurines, I refused so now she's refusing to talk to me.
We have 2 kids and they each have their own room, she also has a craft room where she does her dress making, sewing and cross-stitch things. ######
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Nta. Would she rather you spend Friday night at home painting models, or out doing body shots with the guys? ######
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Hi all, this is a throwaway and I don’t really know how this works but I’ve been having an issue with my fiancé and her family.
Background: I am a part owner in a pretty upscale American restaurant in the United States. I have been engaged for a little over a year, the virus took a toll in our plans. I have been with my fiancé for a total of 4 years now. She does not have any kids but I have two daughters who live with their mother.
Situation: my fiancé’s sister called my fiancé to tell her that her 17 year old son (I’ll call Chris) was taking a girl on a date for the first time, and said they were gonna go to my restaurant.
The day came and I was working, they showed up and of course I said hello and talked to them and such. then I left them alone to enjoy their meal, I didn’t say anything to them until they were walking out. I just thanked Chris for coming and said it was nice seeing them.
An hour or so went by and I got a text from my fiancé calling me an asshole. I didn’t have time to text and I just told her We can talk when I get home. I got home and she told me she couldn’t believe I didn’t comp the bill for Chris. I said I didn’t know I was supposed to, and she called me a cheapass. She let me know that her sister and mother also thinks I’m an asshole.
She called me out for others I’ve comped meals for, including my ex wife (She’s still the mother of my daughters and we aren’t on bad terms, IMO not a big deal). I apologized and I promised I will next time they come in, but apparently the fact that I had to be told makes me an AH.
Was it really an AH move to not comp Chris’s food? ######
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NTA. Would it have been a nice thing to do? Yeah. Are you in any way obligated to do that? Not really. ######
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So me and my fiancé are doing some work in our backyard, so for the past week or so I’ve had to take our dogs for walks through the neighborhood about 4 times a day, always walking past the same house right across the street from us.
The first few times, i noticed a dog barking when i walked by, but didn’t think much of it. But it happened every single time I walked by, so it started to catch my attention. Listening closer, I can tell that the dog is barking from the neighbors garage - the bark echoes and can clearly be identified as coming from the garage.
If this happened once, I wouldn’t think too much of it, but it’s every time I walk by from about 7am until the last time I take my dogs out around 9pm every night. I think they are keeping this dog in the garage all day most days.
I live in a very warm area approaching summer, and the high temperatures are starting to approach/exceed 90F daily here. I don’t feel like it’s safe to keep a dog in a closed up garage all day in the middle of the summer, but i also don’t want to approach my neighbors myself. The type of people who leave a dog sitting in hot garage all day probably wouldn’t listen to me or would get hostile with me, and then if i did end up calling someone on them they’d know it’s me, which I’d prefer they don’t.
So, WIBTA if I call animal control to check this out? ######
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NTA. Worst case scenario, they find the dog is fine. Otherwise, you save a dog. Ring it in. ######
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this happened last year but it got brought up again recently and opinions are split. more like 'are we the asshole'
context: i grew up in a country where usage of the word 'fag' is very lenient. i also grew up in a family of smokers. this is important because where i live, 'fag' is common slang for a ciggie. i didn't know 'fag' has offensive connotations until i was 11 when someone called me a 'fag' and i asked my mum why they were calling me a ciggie and she explained. all my LGBT friends use it and have no problem with the word when used in the context of a cig.
onto the story: there was this exchange student (Beth) from America who was at our school and she gravitated towards my friend group. one day at lunch a few of my friends had gone for a smoke break and Beth asked where they had gone and i replied 'oh they've gone for a quick fag, they'll be back soon, don't worry'. Beth seemed fine the rest of the day but something was off. the next day she told the group she was leaving because 'certain members are homophobic'. my friends and I knew what she was on about and explained how we meant the word and that we meant no harm. she said fine but didn't want to stay because of the negative connotations so she left the group but we still spoke sometimes in the group chat we had.
a few weeks later she messaged saying she was upset that none of us had apologised to her. we were confused. this is going to sound weird but she didn't seem like she wanted an apology more she just wanted to move on. no one said anything (only I and one other person had 'read' the message) and she got annoyed and left the chat. everyone felt shitty but no one knew what to do so we left it. Beth went back home a few months later and we never heard from her again.
so, AITA?? ######
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NTA. Words have different meanings sometimes to different cultures. Not your place to impose your own interpretation based on your culture when in someone else's. ######
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Am I about to rant over a muffin? Yes! I live in a pretty big household. I have 6 other siblings. So when my sisters made muffins last night, I’d already eaten so I decided I wanted one for the morning. But I knew my siblings would’ve eaten them all by the time I woke up and didn’t feel like risking it. So I hid one with my brothers baby food. Sure enough waking up this morning I was correct, the muffins were all gone but the one I hid was still there. I ate it, and that was that. Like an hour later my step dad came in and asked “do you know who hid a muffin?” And I said it was me, I didn’t see it as that big of a deal. Well, he pulls up a video on his phone of him LICKING THE FUCKING MUFFIN and putting it back, I was disgusted. I then heard him and my mom talking about how that’s what I get for hiding food, which is actually very hypocritical because they have entire cabinet of their own hidden food that we aren’t allowed to touch. It’s not like I took someone’s muffin by hiding it, all my siblings were able to have 2, I just wanted one. Now I’m pissed at my step dad and he doesn’t understand why.
TDLR; I hid a muffin, my stepdad licked it and put it back, and showed me a video of him licking it after I ate it. Now I’m pissed
Side note: I realize the post is stupid, I know it’s stupid situation. But personally, I don’t enjoy eating food that has been touched, licked, or spit on by others. So why not rant about it 😂 ######
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NTA. Why????? Why would he lick a muffin and put it back???? Why would he RECORD IT???? What was there that he could possibly gain, just fucking eat it and get it over with good god ######
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Obviously I know what my diagnoses are now, but I just wanted some other verdicts on this. And for reference, I am 18f.
When I was four years old, I was diagnosed with mosaic Turner Syndrome (TS). I won't get too into this, but basically I knew that I was 'different' because of all the medications I had to take and doctors I had to see. I always asked my parents why I had to do all this extra stuff while my younger siblings didn't, but they always didn't answer me. But when I was 12 years old, my mom sat me down and told me that I had turner syndrome, and what it exactly was, and that explained so much about me.
I had been seeing a psychologist for many years, and one day when I was 13, I was taken in to do this all-day test thing that I didn't know why I was doing it. I do remember that my mom and my psychologist made me go out of the room while they discussed the results. Last night, I was filling out health stuff for college, and as my mom was looking it over, she added non-verbal learning disorder (NVLD) to the list of various health concerns I had. Obviously, that was news to me, and she didn't really say much about it, just gave me my laptop back. After researching stuff, NVLD does explain some aspects of my personality as well as some physical stuff.
I'm just angry that my mom hid all this stuff from me, and I'm wondering if my anger is even justified at all. I haven't lashed out or anything, just silently fuming. I did try asking once why I was kept in the dark for all this time, and they just said that I was too young and wouldn't have understood then. However, many teachers and adults have described me as perceptive and intelligent for my age, and I have met various TS girls who had been told about and understood the condition at a very young age.
So was my mom in the wrong? Or is my anger unjustified? ######
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NTA. Why would your mom hide your diagnoses from you? Even as a minor, you deserve to know what exactly is going on with your body, because it’s your own body. ######
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My(28f) sister(20f) arrived in Canada for her first degree last September with the help of my uncle who gave her about $5500 to take care of her rent and other expenses at least for the first semester. The plan was for her to also get a part time job to support herself because her program consisted of only 4 classes a week ie one class for about 2/3 hours a day. This gives her more than enough time to work and study as well.
Once she arrived here, I tried to help by securing a cheap room near her campus, taking her to value village (It’s like Goodwill) for fall and winter clothes, driving her to grocery shops and fast food places to drop her resume and others. I should add I live in a different town almost 2 hours away from her but I did my best to get her situated.
Unfortunately I have been paying her rent for the 6 out of 8 months she’s been here. This is because she spent all her money on shopping sprees, taking Uber rides instead of the bus to school, ordering food and pizza all the time instead of cooking. My husband and i have adviced her constantly on doing better on several occasions.
She finally got a part time job a month ago and instead of paying off her rent, got an iPhone 10. She’s also on probation at school and has the potential of being withdrawn from the school.
Now my mum won’t stop crying and begging me to pay for my sister’s rent and food and I refuse to do so. I offered to have her stay with us but I’m in a “village” so that’s out of the question. We can’t tell my uncle because he expected her to be able to manage what he gave her and tbh things aren’t as good as they used to be because of the virus. I should add I have a young baby and I haven’t worked in a year. My husband has put his foot down this time and won’t help because of my sister’s lifestyle/decisions so far.
So AITA because I wouldn’t bail out my sister? ######
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NTA. Why would your mom expect you to pay her bills? If she wants to bail her out, that’s on her, but you should never be held responsible for her. ######
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So, basically, for the past month, I've been planning a cross country move back to my college town. I had some plans to stay with friends, and get there on July first so I can move in.
When I told my mom I was moving out, she was somewhat upset with me with how sudden it was, and was upset I didn't give her enough time to make plans for her to take time off work so she could come with me.
So I decided to post pone my move in date to a later date - about a week off. But this also means not staying with some of my friends along the way, and means me sitting around for another week extra while I wait.
I'm considering telling her tomorrow that it might be better if I go earlier and by myself so I can stick to my original plan. I know this is probably going to upset her and she won't like it....but would I really be the asshole? ######
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NTA. Why would she assume she would be going? It's very odd. ######
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We're 28. We're dual citizens of the US and the place we currently live. We both have cushy jobs with a multi-national, but back home I used to drive big rigs and busses, my side job here is a home-call mechanic. Her side job is as a fixed wing medivac pilot.
She might fly planes well, but she can't drive cars. She failed her driving test in the US numerous times before finally getting it. She's had her US license for about a year. Here she had her international permit suspended for a wreck where she was determined to be at fault, then she went through with getting locally licensed - she got suspended once on her probationary license for criminal excedd speed + following too closely. She got it back but then got revoked for another at-fault wreck while unaccompanied as a probationary driver. She has to go back to driving school to try again for a student license (then probationary, then full).
It's monsoon here. We were on a rural 6 lane highway with a 130kph limit. It was pouring rain with next to no visibility and incredibly windy. As your supposed to do, I pulled over to the far right lane. I was matching the speed of the cars distantly infront of me doing about 40kph. We were being passed by cars going the speed limit in the left lanes, and she was freaking out saying we need to go the speed limit. I told her twice that we're okay where we are, the visibility isn't good enough and obviously other people agree since the entire rightmost lane was doing 40kph.
She kept saying we need to speed up. I told her that her license is revoked for a reason, I'm driving, and I'm obeying the law.
She wasn't really happy with me saying that. ######
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NTA. why tf she's so worried about driving faster? Are you guys late? Or does she like living stupidly dangerous? ######
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My gf’s birthday was today and she wanted to do a social distance get together with our friends (With our city having a really low amount of COVID cases they relaxed a lot of restrictions). Our mutual friends consist of us, and two other woman: and we all met in high school. Our one friend, let’s call her M, recently got out of a relationship with someone really toxic, and decided to start dating again. She asked us if she could bring her new boyfriend along to but she didn’t want to tell us who he was so she could surprise us. The only clue we got was that we went to school with him.
Lo and behold we get together in our backyard and in comes my childhood bully with my friend M. While I appreciate that she wanted to surprise us, I think she was unaware who she was bringing along. Tbh I don’t think he even recognized me, but I instantly recognized him. Things got really awkward when he started bragging about his life, etc etc. Suddenly it felt like the purpose of the party was lost. Then he just excused himself to go inside the house, even though we were supposed to be just outside.
I stopped him at the door and told him to leave my property, and I also said he wasn’t welcome here. He was shocked and very defensive saying “he just had to wizz and take a chill pill”. I promptly kicked him off my property, and my friend went with him. I apologized to my gf, and she understood why. However my friend is super angry with my and my other friend is taking her side. ######
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NTA. Why should you have to be around someone who clearly caused you some trauma, honestly those friends should try to understand your perspective on this. Though to play devil's advocate for a moment, did he change? Also did the friend who's dating him know about how he used to bully you? ######
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Today I had someone confront me about my home made face mask. I made a standard face mask with 2 layers of cotton fabric. To make it look cute I added some lace to the front of it. It doesn't affect the functionality of it as far as I know.
I was told that face masks are safety and not for vanity. I was told it's wrong to turn a face mask into a fashion statement and I should reconsider why I'm wearing a face mask. I'm actually embarrassed and I'm considering taking my face mask apart and removing the lace. I made it the way I did because I have made so many of them and I get so bored from how repetitive it is. Adding lace was a way to challenge myself. Maybe I'm selfish for keeping the fanciest one I have made so far.
I already get enough grief from non mask wearing folks. ######
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NTA. Why must practical things look utilitarian? We might as well make masks look good, we’ll be wearing them for a while. ######
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So my girlfriend and I can’t see each other in person so we’ve been doing video chats during dinner and stuff like that. We have a words with friends game going and also she’ll sometimes play me at chess online. The thing is with chess is she’s one of those chess nuts who spends a ton of time practicing and reading moves and stuff. I mean it’s good for her and what she enjoys sure. But it’s not terribly fun for me, because I only know the rules, never practiced, don’t know what a queens gambit is or any of the other ridiculous move sets chess wizzes memorize. I lose completely and totally every time. She doesn’t go easy on me, so I could just press random buttons and do about as well as I do now.
Today I declined her invite to a game and texted her that I’d rather not play chess anymore. She immediately called me a sore loser and asked if I was just scared I’m going to lose. I responded that I’m not scared, I know I’m going to lose and it’s not fun.
She said “aw is the little baby going to cry”. I just didn’t respond to that and didn’t talk to her until dinner. When I called she was mad that I never responded to her. I said she was being rude and it was better that I not respond than she see what my response would have been.
She got mad again and said she’s not the one that declined “bonding time” because I’m afraid of losing. I again said I’m not afraid, but playing a game where moving randomly and trying to win yields the same result isn’t fun. She said it’s because I’m bad that happens, and I just hung up.
She blew up my phone with texts saying that it was rude to hang up in the middle of a conversation. But the way she’s acting is like if I arm wrestled her and when I won I ripped my shirt off and poured Gatorade all over myself. Or if I played basketball with her and then posted her up and dunked every possession.
AITA? ######
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NTA. Why is she your girlfriend if she belittles you this much? She can't be enjoying your chess games for any reason other than that she's kicking your ass. I guess she really likes making it clear how much better than you she is, and when deprived of that opportunity she throws a fit. ######
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I (24M) still live at home, I'm aiming to move out within the next two years.
My sister (18F) usually lives with my dad but has been spending more time with us, shes been with her boyfriend for 3 years, I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2.
My mother is obsessed with the idea of having a grandchild, she wont stop talking about it with me and my girlfriend but we dont want children.
So, she turned the "joke" onto my sister.
She brings it up every chance she can.
We were eating dinner last night when my mother once again said "so when are you giving me a grandson *sisters name*?"
This wouldn't be a problem if she wasnt sending my sisters childrens names and if she was joking, she tries to pass it off as a joke but we can tell shes being serious.
My sister genuinely feels pressured, she doesnt have a backbone though so wont complain.
I snapped at my mother and told her to back tf off, she isnt getting a grandchild from either of us anytime soon and maybe she should focus on parenting her son (10) instead of this BS.
She didnt react but later on we heard her crying about it to our dad.
My father texted me and my sister telling us if we cant take a joke and will be disrespectful we both know where the door is and can leave at anytime, and that we are assholes for being oversesnsitve and that I could've let my sister deal with it (she really doesnt like arguments)
AITA? ######
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NTA. Why is it that some parents feel it’s okay to bully their children into reproducing?
Keep your foot down on this one OP. ######
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My roomate and I aren't the most well off people but I like to save a bit of cash and buy the good stuff. Butter instead of margerine, fresh instead of packaged. It's like the ONE thing I splurge on to try and be healthy.
I asked if it was cool to have our own shelves in the fridge since we often buy similar things and it's easy to forget who's is who's. Also because he used this as a frequent excuse as to why he ate my things. (He will EVENTUALLY replace it but it's always the unhealthy cheap version, not what I actually bought. He agreed.
He keeps putting his stuff on my shelf, and then eating my food saying he "forgot" and that he thought it was his. I reminded him multiple times mentioning "hey man, I'm not rich, I can't feed us both :p " he laughs and agrees.
So the other day a bunch of my stuff was missing again and a bunch of his stuff was on my shelf (probably a prepped setup for the "oh I mistaken the items since it's all mixed!" Excuse) .
Instead of bringing it up I just ate the things he put on my shelf. And he got really upset saying he can't afford that.
I feel bad now, but at the time it felt justified. To be clear I'm not against sharing my stuff, but to be *asked* would be nice. Plus I like my own space to be able to see what I still have / what I need etc. I don't know if I'm overreacting because it's JUST a shelf, but I'm a broke student and it seems like a good way to keep track of my stuff.
Am I the asshole? ######
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NTA. Why is it fine for him to eat your food, but the second the shoes on the other foot he packs a sad? This will hopefully teach him some boundaries! ######
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I know how I might be wrong. Calling my wife out in public, adhering to a sexist stereotype, etc. I know hoe she might be in the wrong, lying and adhering to a sexist stereotype.
So, let’s start the story. Yesterday, a couple of my friends, my wife and I were video chatting. Casually, someone asked who was the breadwinner in our relationship. She full on lies and says that she’s the breadwinner. I think she expected for me to say nothing. I just mentioned that she was lying and that I actually earned more than her
The thing is I wouldn’t’ve cared if she didn’t answer or if she said that was sexist. I honestly wouldn’t’ve. But she falsely said that she did earn more than me. That’s entirely wrong, I earn more than twice than she does.
My wife is pretty mad and won’t talk to me because “I called her out” and “I was being a sexy(st) jerk”
So, AITA? ######
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NTA. Why is her friend asking about her finances and why is she lying about them? ######
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Last summer, I signed a one-year lease on a three-bedroom apartment along with two of my friends. All was well for two weeks until one of these friends accepted a job offer in another city and wanted out of the lease.
Myself and the other friend managed to find another temporary roommate for 8 months but this temporary roommate is now returning home. The friend who bailed on us, whose name is still on the lease (but whose rent was essentially being covered by the temporary roommate) is now claiming he is unable to pay his share of the rent and wants us to pay for him until the lease is up. He has not spoken to me directly but has been pleading with the other friend to a great extent and just tonight, this other friend called me a “bitch” for not having empathy for this guy who bailed. She feels that her and I should indeed cover his rent until the lease is up.
We are looking for another roommate to circumvent this problem but, in the meantime, AITA for taking the stance that neither of us is responsible for his share of the rent? ######
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NTA. Why is he not sympathetic for your side? He caused the problem, it's his problem, he should be solving the problem. ######
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Hi, I had to get this off of my chest because I’m still stewing about it. This happened yesterday.
My state is slowly lifting covid sanctions so my parents decided to drag me and my brother to a plant nursery. Afterward, we stopped by my parents’ friend’s house to drop off some trees we had bought for them. We were only supposed to stay for five minutes but parents never mean it when they say that.
For context, I’m in my twenties and I am lucky enough to live with my parents so I can aggressively pay off my student loans. I have a full time job that is about 14 hours a day and an hour commute one way. I’m writing this before work. So since I get up at 3am and have a long day ahead of me, I’m very strict with my sleep and aim to go to bed around 8pm. If I get less than 7 hours, I crash in the middle of the day.
Basically what it boils down to is my parents were having a great time shooting the shit and getting drunk and I was anxious about everything I had to do the night before work. So when it got to be 6pm and they had been telling me we were leaving soon for the last two hours, and they were pouring more wine I said “please, no more wine, can we go home?”
This turned into a whole thing and I almost called an Uber but they ended up getting motivated to leave at around 6:30. So all the way home, for 30 minutes, I got lectured about how selfish I am and how I can’t make sacrifices for my family. I was so angry because the argument made no sense to me. Yeah, I do think my sleep is more important than you getting drunk with friends, do that on your own time without dragging me and my brother along. And I don’t care that you haven’t seen your friends in months, we’re in a pandemic, no one has seen their friends. But apparently I embarrassed them, ruined the mood, and need to relax about work.
So tell me reddit, which one of us is overreacting? ######
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NTA. Why drag you along and leave you no way to get back when you have to work the next day? They could have dropped you off and returned, rather than keeping you stranded there *for hours*. ######
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So me and a friend rent an apartment together. Her mom recently just came to stay for a little bit because her water is off in her house. Recently I found out that her mom has been using my things.
For example: My spray on deodorant, toothpaste, bodywash, shampoo, towels, loofah, etc.
It grossed me out because I don't know this woman very well and I'm not comfortable with the idea of her using my things. I wasnt trying to start any conflict, so I kindly asked my roommate to buy her mom some of her own stuff to use.
Her response was that since I let her use my stuff sometimes, I should let her mom as well. Plus apparently her mom likes my stuff better since it's more expensive. We went back and forth for a bit until she finally gave in and said she'd tell her mom to stop.
The final straw came when I went into the bathroom yesterday morning and her mom was using my curling iron. After that, I moved all the stuff I paid for into my room. My roommate confronted me, saying her mom was upset because none of the stuff she used was there anymore. I told her until her mom can buy her own stuff to use, I wont be putting any of mine back in the bathroom. We havent talked since.
Was I being too rash with my decision? Or selfish? ######
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NTA. Why does she not have her own stuff to use? That is just weird. ######
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I (16f) found out a few days ago from doing an ancestry kit that my dad isn’t my real dad . That wouldn’t have bothered me that much but it turns out that my biological father was my mother’s ex boyfriend who my mum cheated on with my dad.
Bio dad didn’t know my mum was pregnant until after I was born as she ended it with him when he found out about the affair. She told him he wasn’t the father. She refused to do a dna test because her parents preferred her new boyfriend and I’m pretty sure she tried to get a restraining order.
Aita for getting angry at my mum after my aunt told me the story ? ######
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NTA. Why do parents even lie about this stuff? It's only going to lead to drama down the line... ######
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My f17, Brother in law m37,
He has been violating my privacy lately, :going into my room without my premission, taking my phone without premission, he's been all around bossy and asshole.
When he found out about me posting about him online, he said he'd tell on me to my sister, but he didn't.
After what happened I set a password on my phone, didn't get the chance to get a lock for my door yet.
Today, He was snooping around looking for something, I didn't know what it was cause i didn't ask.
I just secretly followed him, while video recording to show to my sister that he's been walking into my room/taking my stuff without premission.
My door was half open, he walked in and started looking around my desk.
He went through half my drawers.
Mumbling something.
Anyways, I got closer, I basically stood near the door to get this on camera, he turned around and caught me and asked what I was doing.
I told him to get out of my room right then, he walked up to me, snatched my phone and saw That I was video recording him.
He asked "what is this? You're posting a video about me online?"
I told him"no, give me back my phone" he said that this is what it is, and that just cause he let the "shit talking" about him on the internet go, doesn't mean I can go far as to post videos online, he said he was gonna tell my sister this time, and my parents to about this behavior.
I deleted the video quickly, so that he won't have proof and went out to my friend's place.
I'm super worried, he'd make up some story about me doing this to post it online, I was just trying to get proof of him going into my room where he shouldn't. ######
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NTA. Why did you delete the video? You WANTED proof of what he was doing, right?
The antidote to lies is not fear, it is the truth. ######
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I was a vegetarian for 3 years, and since been a vegan short over 3 years. My old sister a vegetarian for around 6 years and my youngest sister a vegetarian for around 4 years.
My parents are divorced and my sisters and I live with my dad and see my mom probably once a week. My dad has been a vegetarian for as long as I know, probably since I was 8, around 12 years but mom still eats meat (which is completely fine).
My youngest sister and I were going to my moms cottage for a week and she meal prepped us some veggie meals to bring because the meals she was planning to eat throughout the week all had meat. Probably on our third or fourth day at the cottage, my mom was making chili for dinner. My sister and I both assumed that my mother was preparing us the meal prepped chili she made us, which she told us she was. As we began eating it, we saw and tasted ground beef. We confronted her causing a huge fight to break out. Since then we haven’t talked to my mom, it’s been about 3 weeks. ######
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NTA. Why are people like this, it’s not cute. ######
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So I sometimes make desserts, majority cakes, but I haven’t really been able to do so in the past few months because of school and work. However, because of the things currently going on in the world, I’m not working at the moment so I’ve had a lot of free time recently. Just two weeks ago, I was finishing decorating a two tier cake i had made when my cousin suddenly showed up at my house. She was instantly amazed at the cake i just made and starting making comments like “hurry up and finish so i can post it on my Instagram.” Well, when I finished she proceeded to take a picture and post it. After that my family and I all ate the cake together and called it a day. Well apparently after she posted the picture, one of her friends responded to it asking if i would be able to make a cake for her sons birthday, which is today. The thing is my cousin not only didn’t ask me before saying yes, but she also didn’t let me know of this whole situation until 9a.m this morning! The boy’s “party” started at 3 today and I absolutely refused to make the cake after my cousin called me frantic on the phone claiming she forgot to tell me. Well because of this the boy didn’t have a cake for his birthday today and my cousin went around telling the whole family I refused to make a cake for a little boy, making me look like the bad guy.
AITA for not making the cake? ######
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NTA. Who volunteers somebody else’s time without even talking to them? And then your cousin has the nerve to badmouth you about it? The level of entitlement here is insane. Your cousin should have realized she messed up not asking you before, and went and bought a cake to fix her own mess. ######
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My brother decided to propose and had me help pick it out. We decided to get her one with a middle stone that was 2.5 carats, with a baguette on each side that was about 1 carat each. Brother proposed she said yes but she was upset, saying she expected a bigger ring since he makes enough to buy her 5k ring, and that she can't handle him acting cheap all the time. He was really upset about this because this ring cost about 40k and was amazing clarity, colour etc. and he researched it excessively and made sure that it was the exact design ring she wanted. He called me and got mad at me because I was the one who said he should get the main stone to be 2.5k because bigger than that looks a little tacky and showy. I told him that this is probably God waving a red flag and giving him a chance to get out. I told him that someone who can't appreciate that 40k (esp since thats how much she makes a year), is a lot to spend on a ring. She didn't care about how hard he tried to please her, just about the money. He thought it over and agreed and broke it off. She called me after he asked her to move out and told me I was a meddling bitch and my brother will never get married when his family is so nosey. I asked my friends about it and they agreed, they said that you only get one engagement ring and she should get the ring she wants. So reddit AITA? ######
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NTA. Who the hell turns their nose up at a 40k ring? Shit. If anything she should have protested that he spent that much!
You just saved him some heartache. ######
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My dad’s friend, “Carla,” recently lost her appartement due to the virus. We had a spare bedroom so my dad asked me (16m) and his girlfriend if Carla could move in and we both said sure. No one had any symptoms but just in case we disinfected the whole house before and after she moved in and she took a shower as soon as she walked in.
At first Carla was really polite and she even bought us gifts for allowing her to stay with us, but after a few days she got kinda pushy. At 10 she would try and tell me to go to bed, even though I don’t have a bed time I just need to be in my room relaxing by 11. Every so often she would barge into my room and demand that I clean it. I admit that my room isn’t the cleanest but most of the mess is just art supplies because I work better in (reasonable) chaos and eventually I do clean up. She also kept demanding that I shower everyday when I’ve explained to her that I can’t do more then every other day because I have dry and sensitive skin and every soap I’ve tried irritates my skin, even the ones marketed to sensitive skin, but she refuses to listen. I’m not a confrontational person so I was just being passive aggressive with her and hoping she would pick up on it. She didn’t.
The thing that made me snap though was when she started calling herself my mother figure. My mom hasn’t always been in the picture (she got involved with drugs) but she’s been trying. Yesterday Carla said she considered herself to be my mom and wanted to treat me like her son, despite only knowing me for a few weeks, when I told her I have a mom she laughed and said I shouldn’t count on her. I don’t remember exactly what I said because I was so angry but I remember calling her a bitch and telling her to fuck off.
My dad scolded me for cussing at a person and says I should’ve talked to her about it before blowing up and that I owe her an apology but I don’t think I need to. I’ll accept my judgement though and apologize if I’m in the wrong. ######
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NTA. Who tf does Carla think she is? ######
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This guy I worked with asked for a ride home after our shift, we both live in the same town, so I said sure. He said after work he had to get somethings at a store close by.
work ends we get in my car and I needed to stop for gas. I get to the gas station and fill my tank, I paid by CC at the pump. After I am done filling my tank I hit the yes button for a receipt and the machine says must go inside for one. I go inside and get my receipt.
I get back in the car and I drive to the store, when I get to the store the co-worker gets out and says he will be a few minutes. After a few minutes of waiting I notice my cup holder of loose changes is empty. I am pissed and think who does he think he is to steal from me after I was doing him a favor. I think screw him, he can find his own way home and I drive off.
Next day at work he confronts me and calls me an asshole for ditching him like that cause he had to wait five hours to get picked up. I say to him, hope the five hour wait was worth the three dollars in change he stole from me.
He ends up telling all our co-workers I ditched him for stealing three dollars from me. The co-workers all gave me crap for it so I ended up quitting the job a week later.
I really don't think I did anything wrong. ######
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NTA. Who steals from someone doing them a favor? Assholes, that's who. ######
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This is another of those super low stakes situations that we both find hilarious but also feel so correct on.
Several years ago (yes years), I was toasting myself a bagel. I asked my wife in the other room if she would like one and she said yes. So I made two. I asked her what she would like on her bagel. She said jam. I put jam on her bagel and brought it. She thought it was disgusting.
The important caveat is that it was an "everything" bagel (with seeds and such). This was the only type of bagel we had at the time. She feels that I should have questioned her choice of jam topping. I feel that if the bagel type was required information to decide her topping then she should have asked. At the time it wasn't a thought out malicious compliance, I just wasn't second guessing her... but given the chance I would totally do it again maliciously.
This is affectionately referred to as "the bagel incident" ######
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NTA. Who knew? I like jam on an everything bagel haha, so frankly my mind is being opened as we speak.
Edit: how on earth did this comment get so many upvotes haha ######
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My MIL (mother in law) is coming in 2 weeks and staying with us for 2 days while she visits the Eye Hospital...which I was completely fine with. However, she called today and wants to bring 3 of the grandchildren and extend her stay for 4 nights. We already have a 15 month old and 2 children from my husband's previous marriage that we will also have the same week. My husband is stoked but I'm not so keen. AITA for saying no? ######
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NTA. Who is supposed to watch the extra kids while MIL is visiting the hospital? Unless the answer is your husband than the other kids can visit another time. ######
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So me and a friend rent an apartment together. Her mom recently just came to stay for a little bit because her water is off in her house. Recently I found out that her mom has been using my things.
For example: My spray on deodorant, toothpaste, bodywash, shampoo, towels, loofah, etc.
It grossed me out because I don't know this woman very well and I'm not comfortable with the idea of her using my things. I wasnt trying to start any conflict, so I kindly asked my roommate to buy her mom some of her own stuff to use.
Her response was that since I let her use my stuff sometimes, I should let her mom as well. Plus apparently her mom likes my stuff better since it's more expensive. We went back and forth for a bit until she finally gave in and said she'd tell her mom to stop.
The final straw came when I went into the bathroom yesterday morning and her mom was using my curling iron. After that, I moved all the stuff I paid for into my room. My roommate confronted me, saying her mom was upset because none of the stuff she used was there anymore. I told her until her mom can buy her own stuff to use, I wont be putting any of mine back in the bathroom. We havent talked since.
Was I being too rash with my decision? Or selfish? ######
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NTA. Who in their right mind uses someone else's towel and loofah?! 🤢 ######
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Me and my husband are trying for a baby right now and his parents know about it. They told my sister in law I guess, we don’t have a bad relationship even tho we live far away, we still talk. She called me and brought up the baby topic, asked me if we were really trying and I told her yes. She asked “why now? There’s a huge pandemic going on and it’s kinda selfish bringing baby into all of this mess”, I told her that we have been trying for months already. She sarcastically asked why couldn’t we wait for a year or two and why was having a baby right now so fucking important. I just told her to kind her own business and hung up.
Of course 2 days later there’s a post on her Facebook about “selfish people not caring about anything other than their stupid wants and needs.” She told her parents about it too and they’re telling me that I was a bit too harsh and I need to apologize. ######
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NTA. Who does she think she is to tell you when you can have YOUR baby? Smh some people. ######
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my partner when they were younger had issues with some older men saying they hoped they shaved their genitals. My partner mentioned something today about how bare female genitals make them uncomfy and said anyone who wants to be with someone who shaves is a creep. I asked what purpose pubic hair served, cause I honestly didnt know, guess its hygenic or somethin' cool. My partner then began to say people shouldnt shave, and it was weird if they did. I argued that if someone wants to do something to themselves like shave they can, its the individuals choice.
This was a bad thing to say. I was being accused of supporting something very gross and accused of being one. I denied and tried to clarify that i simply supported ones choice over their own hair situation and nothing beyond that. This went back and forth for a good while. And my partner asked if i would prefer if they shaved, to which i responded "I dont care, its your choice."
Again the wrong move. I am now disgusting and dont love my partner. They asked why i didnt stand with them on this, i told them it was because theyre advovating for social norms to be that we tell people to NOT shave instead of letting them make their own choice. As of this moment in time thats where we stand.
AITA for not siding with my partner, even though I disagree with what theyre saying? ######
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NTA. While I understand your partners troubles you are not obligated to stand with them. Also I agree that wether you shave or not isn’t anyone’s business but your own. Of course people can have preferences but it remains your choice. ######
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I imagine this is going to be a bit of an ESH, but here's the context:
I have a nonbinary coworker, I'll call Ash, who unfortunately had their deadname printed on our weekly schedule for the first few weeks of their employment. They made it very clear to everyone they don't like to be referred to by it, and go by they/them pronouns. I myself am trans (though not entirely out at work), so I'm pretty sensitive to people using the wrong name/pronouns for someone.
Another coworker (Jessica) thought it was a great joke to annoy Ash by referring to them as their deadname and the wrong pronouns. Ash, as well as some others, had asked her to stop multiple times, she didn't. I got fed up, and started referring to Jessica as he/him and by the wrong name. She was visibly annoyed whenever I did it, but nothing ever came of it and she has since been fired for unrelated reasons.
Thining back on it, I do feel kinda shitty about it as one of my positions is that a person doesn't need to *earn* the right to be referred to by the correct name/pronoun, and I feel like I compromised my ethics on this. ######
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NTA. While I get why you feel guilty about it, it was done to prove a point. And sometimes things like this are the only thing bigots understand. Good for you for standing up! ######
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My sister been addicted to drugs for about 3 years now, she’s addicted to Heroin and Fentanyl and just start using something called Purple down.
She has down a lot of awful things to get her fixed, like steal money from her family and sell her body, she claims now that she got everything under control which I don’t really believe.
Recently I found out that her soon to be husband doesn’t know that she’s an addict, My sister was acting odd when I brought up the monthly cost of it, she nervously laughed and said “you’re such a weirdo talking about that, are you into drugs now” so when her husband left I asked about it and she confessed that he doesn’t know I got super angry at her and told her she needs to tell him especially when you guys are trying for a baby and she said “I got everything under control so he doesn’t need to know” I got so upset that I left because I knew I couldn’t have at productive conversation at that time
A week later, I called my sister and tried to convince her that she should tell her fiancé about her drug problem and she said “I can’t do that, I will get off them soon” and when I asked her if she was gonna go to rehab she said “no” I then asked if she not going to rehab then how will you get off them and she claimed she was gonna do it by herself
Now I heard her claim she was gonna get off the drugs by herself for 2 years now so at this point I was frustrated and decided to call her fiancé and tell him, he was super upset and hurt that she didn’t tell him sooner but my sister was super Angry at me and threatened to disown me and never let me see my future nieces and nephews
AITA for telling my sister Fiancé ######
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NTA. While I dont think rehab is always the solution for addiction, if your sister has been telling you she will quit on her own for this long, it's time for her to face facts and get some help. If her fiance has been blind to her addiction for this long, you did the right thing telling him. It wouldn't be right to let her string him along like that. She may be angry now, but you have to remember that it's not her, it's the addiction. ######
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We had a staff meeting via zoom few hours ago.
One of our coworkers was in the “protests” and was joining the meeting from there, I tried to ignore the loud noises behind him.
Then in the middle of the meeting, he turned off the front camera and switched it to the back camera and started streaming what was going on behind him in the protest.
I told him this was very unprofessional and he will be getting into big trouble and let’s hope he doesn’t lose his job for what he did and then kicked him out.
AITA reddit? ######
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NTA. Whether you agree with the protests or not it's extremely inappropriate to join a meeting in the middle of one. ######
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A couple days ago my wife mentioned that our daughter wanting her ears pierced for her upcoming 7th birthday.
I was caught by surprised with this conversation as my daughter had gotten her ears pierced just the year before. My wife proceeded to clarify that our daughter wanted 3 piercings in each earlobe like herself. What surprised me even more that my wife mentioned that she had already told our daughter she would take her to get them done for her birthday.
I explained to my wife that I did not think it was a good idea for our daughter to have that many piercings so young. My wife disagreed and said she doesn't understand how it is different to getting the first holes which I was o.k with. She said that if I did not want our daughter to get them done then I would have to be the one to tell her no given she doesn't want to rescind on her gift.
I was not pleased with the move my wife pulled and don't see why I have to be the bad guy in all of this by being the one to tell our daughter she can't get her ears pierced when in my opinion it shouldn't have been agreed in the first place. AITA here for saying no or is my reaction warranted? ######
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NTA. Whether or not a 7-year old should have three piercings in each ear isn’t really the issue here. Your wife made a parenting decision, and communicated that decision to a child (thus raising her hopes for her birthday fun) without consulting you first for discussion. So you get no say, and then have to be the bad guy. Lose-lose on your end and a bit messed up. Change up the conversation with your wife to focus on the fact that you weren’t consulted on your child’s birthday wishes, and that you should be making decisions regarding your child’s body together. That’s the crux of the issue here. ######
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So two weeks ago, my husband asked my opinion on cosigning a loan for his sister. I told him that honestly, I didn't like the idea at all and to please not do it, for consideration of our financial future.
His sister had her last car impounded twice for whatever reasons. The prior one to that, she wrecked and was then sued by the finance company for the remainder of the note. She's constantly asking him for money, all the while she has yet to ever pay him back.
She called last week and told me that he had, in fact, cosigned for her. Not only that, but it was a new enough car, she would be getting some sort of rebate check that one of us needed to take to her. I told her if she wanted it, that she was apparently free to drive herself to our house to get it.
I then confronted my husband and asked why he did ask my opinion if it didn't matter. His response was to tell me that he thought I would be okay with it, and when I wasn't, he thought I would get over it. AITA for being upset that he completely disregarded how I felt about this whole thing? ######
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NTA. When you’re married financial decisions should be made together. He asked your opinion and you gave it, then he co-signed the loan anyway, knowing that she has a poor payment history. ######
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To preface this I'm 23 (m) and she's 20 (f), I quit smoking cigarettes for her when we started dating 2 years ago. That was a deal breaker for her and I respected that and chose her over my vice. Fast forward 2 years and now she's coming into her own and finding herself and wants to "go wild instead of being responsible" (her words). She started vaping with nicotine and sneaking alcohol into her parents house and wants to experience all types of drugs and not have restraints or feel obligated to not do stuff because of someone, which is likely me and her parents. We live in Tennessee which has harsh drug laws and I'm staunchly against drug use, which I've made clear.
I told her that her starting vaping upset me because of the stink she made about me smoking and telling me to quit, which I did. I told her about my experiences being addicted to nicotine and how I don't want to see her go through that. She says by all means start smoking again because it wouldn't be fair. However I think she helped me by taking that stand and it really pains me to see her start an addiction (which she admits shes addicted) especially to something that is supposed to help smokers quit. She said sorry, but blew me off. I didn't tell her to quit I just told her how I felt. I've also told her that doing drugs is a deal breaker for me to which she didn't really respond. I've just pretty much told her to do what she wants at this point and whatever happens, happens. I don't want to be the controlling guy or tell her what to do. But deep down I want her to choose me. Am I the asshole in this situation. ######
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NTA. When you’re in a relationship, you’re entitled to expressing your feelings on issues like this. If it’s a dealbreaker for you, so be it. ######
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Hey everyone, I’m a 22 yo girl living in Florida with my parents. I’m the oldest of 3. My parents are very strict asian parents. Lately, my mental health has been slipping from the current events. I find happiness with taking long drives, walking around parks, and being outside in nature. I do so with safety precautions (mask and such). My parents have always made it a rule to announce when and where we are going when we leave the house. Lately, they have been prohibiting me from trying to leave the house. I practically have to fight, scream, and shout to go to a park or drive myself to the grocery store and buy fruits. If I say that I am going anyway, they yell at me, call me names like slut, stupid, bitch. I told them that I wanted to find a job so I can pay my bills and save enough to move out. I’ve sort of rebelled by coming back home in the early mornings for the past few days. They threaten to kick me out for not doing what they want. I’m getting so tired of this. I don’t have a job right now(laid off from covid), but I’m trying to look for one just so I can save enough to move out. My mental health is just plummeting. I have been thinking of joining the army in a few months. They also told me not to go. AITA for all of this? ######
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NTA. When you have strict parents, sometimes the *only* way to live your *own* life is to go low/no contact.
They’ll only get stricter, since you’re no longer a child that they legally have control over.
They’re gonna get stricter because they have to convince you, an adult, that their word is law. ######
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For context : My brother and sister in law have a one year old. I have a one and a half year old. I am a stay at home mom. My husband is doing online nursing classes and the majority of his time is filled with studying. My sister in law is working from home since the lock down (she has a desk job that is primarily done on the computer) and my brother has been staying home for the most part to watch the baby. He still works, but his hours have been cut dramatically.
Today I get a text from my brother asking if I can watch my nephew for an hour at the most while my sister in law works at home. He has a mandatory work meeting he must attend. To me, an hour doesn’t seem like a significant amount of time to watch a toddler and do your work. Lots of people do it on a daily basis. She mainly looks at spreadsheets all day. I used to work along side her so I know what her job entails more or less. Annoyed, I indicated I thought an hour was silly, but that I would watch my nephew if he dropped him off at my house. My brothers route to work requires him to pass right by house anyways. I do not receive a response.
Befor long, my mother calls to tell me my sister in law is throwing a fit and will not allow my brother to drop my nephew off at my house. My brother was fine with it, but she is not. She wants me to come to their house. As a result, my brother misses his mandatory work meeting so that he can stay home and watch the baby while she works from home.
My mom said she feels bad for my brother and since he is family I probably should have just gone over there. My sister in law has always been a very selfish my-way-or-the-highway type of person and I feel I should not have to accommodate her every request. If she really needed me, I offered to watch him at my own house alongside my own child.
So reddit, AITA? ######
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NTA. When someone asks you for a favor it is on your terms. Why should you pack up your own kid twice to watch her kid while she sits right there? Doesn't even make sense. ######
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***Happened in October and recently came up in conversation***
I made a reservation at a nice restaurant for my anniversary. Our reservation was for 8:30 p.m. but the hostess said they were running a little behind. After 20 minutes of waiting, a couple walked in behind us and asked for a table. They didn’t have reservations and the hostess said they were looking at a 45-minute wait. The couple stood behind us discussing options, then five minutes later the hostess said our table was ready. The woman pointed out that she was seven months pregnant and would really appreciate if she could sit before us. I said no because we had a reservation and they did not, then suggested two places across the street that always have seats available. The couple was visibly annoyed and said something under their breath about how rude I was.
Had they made a reservation I would have gladly switched so they could sit a few minutes early, but they were basically asking for our reservation. We were looking at having to wait another 45 minutes.
There were multiple restaurants in the area so there were options. There was also bar seating available and they could have gotten food there. ######
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NTA. When I was pregnant I wouldn't have asked someone to give up a reservation. I wouldn't have expected special treatment for something like that... I don't think I even made a big deal about needing a seat in crowded places. ######
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So to start with, me (20F) and a guy (19M) we'll call him kai, have been dating for a few weeks, but friends for well over a year. Not a full relationship but definitely on the path. For context I've always interpreted the saying "dont threaten me with a good time" as a sarcastic way of saying "that wouldn't be so bad". It isnt only sexual, it can be used in a sarcastic way. If I'm wrong please correct me. So me and kai were on the phone (quarentine and all), and I was referencing a conversation from earlier. I'll paraphrase said conversation, it was with my mum and dad.
MUM - *makes sex joke*
ME- ewww
DAD - well if me and *mum* didnt have sex you wouldnt be here
ME - dont threaten me with a good time (joking that I didnt exist it would be brill)
Kai then proceeds to say that I made a sexual advance on my dad? When I say that's disgusting and explain my understanding of the saying, nd that it was in no way sexual, he hangs up and now isnt talking to me. I dont know if I over reacted by being disgusted, or if my understanding of the saying is wrong. Am I the asshole for being angry at his understanding? Is he the asshole for still hanging up after I explained what I mean? :( ######
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NTA. When I read this, I laughed because I knew you were saying that "Don't threaten me with not being on this earth because I'd gladly take it!". Comedy gold. I can understand the shock value, and him wanting clarification, but after explaining your interpretation and he still hangs up, is a bit childish. You're obviously not making a sexual advance on your father. ######
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So yesterday was my boyfriend's birthday and we had a small lunch celebration with his family. My boyfriend doesn't like chocolate cake while his family and I love it. He likes ube cake, which no one else in his family likes. So I decided to bake two cakes, a larger 10 inch chocolate cake for me and his family and a smaller 6 inch ube cake since he's the only one who's going to eat it.
He didn't say anything when his family was there but after they left he told me that he felt like I cared more about his family than making him feel special on his birthday because the main cake was something that they liked and not what he liked. He also said that for his birthday it wouldn't have hurt for all of us to eat ube cake since we know that it's what he likes instead of making him feel like the odd one out.
I was just trying to please everyone since I knew that his family doesn't like ube cake and they like chocolate cake instead. And I think it was a good compromise to have a smaller lemon cake for him so he can still enjoy the cake he likes while the rest of us eat the cake we like. AITA? ######
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NTA. When I read the title, I thought you ONLY made a cake he wouldn’t like. But you didn’t—you went to the extra effort of making a dessert you knew he liked, and another that you knew others would enjoy as well. I would never expect people to eat food they expressly disliked on my birthday, it’s honestly pretty immature. ######
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So this literally just happened and I personally don't feel I am the asshole but apparently According to everyone else I am.
So here's the story.
My brother has 3 kids all under the age of 5. They have had head lice atleast 4 times, this time I think makes the 5th time they've had it.
We ALL know EXACTLY where it comes from but my brother and his gf refuse to stop sending their kids over there because this is the only person who will baby sit all 3 kids for cheap.
When the 3 youngest kids got head lice the last time me and my mom spent HOURS trying pick their heads clean because they were 2yrs old, hand no idea what was going on, fought, screamed, cried, and we're over all miserable.
After that time I swore I would never do it again because it's so freaking easy for them to prevent their kids getting lice and why should me and my mom be the ones who have to do the clean up of their mess.
Literally EVERY SINGLE TIME they've gotten lice, everyone BUT my brother and his gf have done the clean up. They have never had to do it themselves.
This time was the first time they ever had to, and the rushed it. Because they rushed it they did not get all the lice and the day care called them saying they need to check their heads again.
My mom and brother asked me to come help. I said No. I don't feel is should have to because they finally need to clean up their own damn mess.
But apparently now I'm a bitch because I don't want to and I should help them because my brothers GF is at work and he's the only one working on them.
Tldr: my brothers kids always get lice because they keep sending them back to the source. I refuse to help clear the kids heads because my bro and his gf have never had to do the clean up and I think they should do it on their own. ######
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NTA. What. The. Fuck.
They're assholes for sending their kids to head-lice place.
They're assholes for making someone else clean up.
They're assholes for thinking you're an asshole for not cleaning up for them.
They're mega assholes for sending their kids to head-lice place more than once.
God this is making me angry. Who sends their kids to a place they know has head lice? ######
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My nearly 12yo daughter has developed an interest all things beauty related. She is constantly going on about changing her hair colour, getting her nails done, makeup and even piercings.
At first I was accommodating to her wanting to experiment with her appearance. I allowed her to get blonde highlights done, bought her nail polish and also took her to get her ears pierced on a few occasions. She now has 4 holes on each lobe and any further will be cartilage.
Unfortunately it seems that whatever I allow is never enough. My daughter constantly nags to dye her hair bright colours and wants even more piercings. Not just on her ears but also nose. I have reached my limits and am now saying no. The main reason is that I feel like I am being taken for a ride but also I heard that one of the other parent's at my daughter's school make a comment about my daughter being a bad influence and should put my foot down.
Unfortunately saying no has resulted in tantrums and constant nagging. It got so bad that I actually took away her makeup, nail polish and told her no more piercings until she is 18.
Am I being unreasonable here? Part of me thinks is justified but my daughter seems to think I am a total ass hole for this. ######
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NTA. What you’re doing is parenting and it is your job not to give in to all your daughter’s demands, particularly when they permanently affect her body. You’ve already allowed her to get away with a lot (as is your right) but now you’ve given her a boundary, you need to stick to it.
And who knows, when she is 18 or older, she may regret what she did at 12. You are (IMO) correct to stop her from having more piercings etc right now.
Edited: clarification ######
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For the first time in ages (because of corona) me and my girlfriend went to a VERY nice fancy restaurant. This is important because normally I woudn’t make a fuss but since the food was so nice and very expensive i made an exception.
We go to the restaurant (she is driving). When get there they are about to close, they say we can’t dine, but we can take food away. We order similarly 1 starter, 1 main each. We split the bill 50/50.
We take the food to the car and while she is leaving the car park i check they got our order right. Her starter and main are there. But only my starter is their and my main is missing. I tell her they got the order wrong, while checking to see if they charged for us for the missing main: they did.
I ask her to go back and get my main. Keep in mind we are 1 min drive away from restaurant. Yet she said she can’t be bothered and i should deal with it. We argued for about a minute and then i said ‘ ok but then i get half your main’. She said no and i gave up.
Then when we got home she went for a shower. So i eat my starter and half her main. When she found out she got annoyed and told me to leave her house. I said ok fine, it is late anyway.
Next morning she text ‘how am i going to make it up to her’.
So aita and should i have to make it up to her? ######
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NTA. What the hell, she just wanted you to not have dinner because she couldn't be bothered to turn around? And now she's mad at YOU? Is this a major anomaly or is she always this awful and selfish? ######
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30 years ago my grandfather dug a well. It supplies our home and has a pump to supply water to a mini water tower thing to give our homes water pressure.
Another person built a house nearby and there was an agreement for them to plumb into our fresh water supply for limited domestic use: Cooking, cleaning, toilets etc. This agreement has stood for 10 years without any problems.
So what's been going wrong?
The house next door was sold.
It's now starting to get hot. So the next door neighbour has been filling a swimming pool. I don't see a problem with this. What I do see a problem is they fill the pool and drain it EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Based on my calculations they're wasting close to 400,000 litres of water every single day.
When I told them they can't waste water like this. They told me to f*** myself because the water is free and nobody owns it.
So I gave them a warning showing that the water supply belonged to us and it wasn't free at all. I was told to f*** off again. I watched as they filled their pool again AND drained it again.
I simply turned off their turned off the valve supplying their home which is on our land. They now have no water whatsoever as they tried to fill their pool again this morning.
They're now complaining and whining about not having any water. I told them they can get a tanker to come and fill their pool and supply them.
AITA about this? ######
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NTA. What the heck is the point of filling and emptying the pool? Is this some pool maintenance strategy I’m not aware of? ######
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My (34f) husband (33m) has terrible allergies. This time of year his nose is always running. This is not his fault. However, what he uses to blow his nose blows -my- mind. Bathroom and hand towels (his and mine), kitchen towels, shirts, my sweaters, socks (both clean and used)- anything. And on top of this, he leaves whatever he’s been using laying around because he might need it again later.
After a few nasty surprises and a few instances of having nothing to dry my hands with in the kitchen, I bought him a big pack of handkerchiefs from Amazon, and a big pack of new dish towels. I asked him if he could please just use the new handkerchiefs and the -old- dish towels and spare the other household fabrics, and put the designated nose-blowers in their own spot.
He snapped “You know you can wash all of this stuff right??” and implied I’m being judgy and making him feel bad just because he has allergies. This feels crazy to me but.... AITA? ######
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NTA. What the fuck? Seriously? Wipe your nose in a hanky or a tissue and literally nothing else why did you even need to ask this question? Your husband is disgusting. ######
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Throwaway, because SIL knows my main account.
My (36F) SIL (32F) is an extremely unlikable person.
She often takes advantage of her disability and eating disorders. As in, if you were arguing with her, she would pull that card on you. Or if she was being extremely rude and mean to you, she'd end the conversation with, "I'm disabled and anorexic, you can't be mean to me." Her disability has always been shrouded by her, even if you asked her what it was she'd change the topic.
Also, this will be relevant while you are reading this: I had a miscarriage a week ago, and my belly is still quite swollen.
This has caused me to stop attending any of my husband's family functions, because my SIL, who we'll call Dani, would always be there, and also resulted in me avoiding her everywhere.
But yesterday my husband forced me to partake in a video call with his entire family, including his extended relatives, and his direct family (Dani, my FIL, and my MIL)
Dani was being a bit quiet during the conversation, so I asked her what was wrong and she replied with "you're bloody nosy, no wonder the baby died, it wouldn't have wanted a mother like you."
I was really shocked and sad, and I revealed something that I'm now deeply ashamed of: the fact that Dani cheated on her husband with her 'friend' while she and her now husband were still dating.
Her husband was on the call, and she promptly disconnected.
Now her entire family knows that she was a cheater, and I was feeling really bad, because Dani and her husband apparently got into a huge fight, and are now seperated.
My husband told me that it was a low belt blow, and I should have calmed down, and that she's anorexic and disabled and was having one of her episode where she feels extremely bad.
This has now made me feel kinda bad.
AITA? ######
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NTA. What she said, only a week after your miscarriage, is inexcusable. Also, it’s not b/c she’s anorexic or disabled, it’s because she’s a crap person. If her husband separated from her b/c she cheated, that’s on her for cheating.
Also, what’s up with your husband defending HER after what she said to you (and knowing she betrayed his brother)? ######
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First time poster, standard on mobile disclaimer.
I am not close to my mom. I am the scapegoat child and she dismisses my thoughts as if they don't matter. She is also a fundamentalist Christian, doesn't believe in COVID and thinks the government lies to her all the time.
She told me yesterday she had close contact to a person who got COVID positive results back. We have universal healthcare in my country, but we are having a spike on cases, so lines are to be expected.
She whined and said she left the line and will try to get tested tomorrow, but she has no symptoms... Except for a couch from "eating dry toast this morning" and a headache "for eating chocolate"..., but a friend who lives next door said that she has been coughing since yesterday and went on a drive yesterday to visit friends.
I know my mother. She is incredibly immature and won't stop going out and probably avoid getting tested unless she gets really sick and doesn't care about possibly being asymptomatic and potentially infecting others. I was planning on holding her out to her plan of getting tested and my friend will keep an eye out for her to make sure she does. If she doesn't, I would call the Health Department hotline and put an anonymous tip.
Reddit, WIBTA if I did this? ######
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NTA. What she is doing is dangerous. If she was any simpler, she would be sold in the produce section. ######
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I want to start by saying my sister and I don't have the BEST relationship.
She didn't meet me until she was 18 because my mom had her has a teenager and put her up for adoption. Her adoptive family provided for her but even though her adoption was an open adoption they hate that she has a relationship with her birth family. They are an upper class family that offers to pay for anything she wants if she does exactly what they say, so she often does.
About 3 years ago my sister got engaged to a wonderful man, and she asked me to be a brides maid. I was only 23 at the time, a college student with no money. But I bought the dress, paid for my way for her shower and Bachelorette party, single handedly decorated her entire reception location.... and the day before the wedding her adoptive mom told my sister she didn't want her bio family at the wedding she was paying for. (I also had already booked off work and told my professors I'd be missing a week of school to be the primary care giver for her THREE children while she went on her honeymoon)
So. The day before her wedding, after putting out money I needed for groceries and supporting myself, she uninvited me from her wedding. I am her sister and she removed me with out hesitation or good reason from the most important day in her life. I still watched the kids of course because they were innocent in all her issues.
But now I'm engaged, and planning my wedding, and I don't want to invite her, I don't want to have someone at my wedding that reminds me how disposable I am if she's getting some cash in return. My fiance says I'm not the asshole, but my mother and brother do.
I don't really know what to do and to be honest I'm not sure if I'm the asshole or if she is. Help! ######
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NTA. What she did was pretty shitty. A day before the wedding like seriously?!
I suggest you dont call her at all for your own sanity. She didnt hesitate then why are you hesitating. ######
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This happened some time ago but I haven't mentally resolved this yet, so now I am asking Reddit to hopefully give me some closure!
I (M) once hosted a home party for my best (guy) friend and about five girls that came along. I know all of these people so I was fine with it, But during the party, some of the girls asked me if it was okay for some other friends to come along (people that I didn't know), so I complied since I didn't want to be a buzz kill. Fast forward a few weeks and they're asking me again if we could have a party at my place (they want to party at my place because I own a pretty neat sound system) and I said yeah sure.
Unbeknownst to me, my friend said "yeah two guy friends of mine will also come, you don't know them but they're cool people". That's where I have had enough and told them that it was okay for the girls to come but I do **not** want some strangers coming to my place. I don't want them to have access to my personal belongings and other private things that they have no business knowing about, period. Good for you if you think you can "trust" these people that you met ONCE or twice at a night club, but I certainly don't trust them or anybody for that matter. I don't know who tf those people are and I don't care to find out who they are if the first time I meet them will be at MY place.
So they cancelled on me, saying that I have trust issues and that I am being irrational for not trusting THEM because they wouldn't invite sketchy people, but I stand by my choice. I personally believe they are being petty and narcissistic because they are butthurt that they can't take advantage of me and my sound system. So they hosted the party at one of the girls' place and I wasn't invited.
AITA? ######
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NTA. What kind of jackass thinks he can just invite strangers to a friends house? ######
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My husband and I (24m and 21f) are expecting a baby boy in August and a lot of the family wants to come visit us once he’s born to see him. One family member is my cousin, Nicky (21f). Nicky and I are close in age and pretty much grew up together. She’s always been a very entitled and mean spirited person because her parents never disciplined her, and we even grew apart as we got older because of it. At our family get together yesterday, Nicky started making rude remarks to her boyfriend and parents. I ignored most of what she said until I heard her say something about how I married an “ugly, fat guy” because I was desperate. I told Nicky that was extremely hurtful to my husband and that her boyfriend was no prize either. She then went off about the baby, saying he was going to be ugly and that she hoped he was going to be born with various disabilities. She even said something about shaking him if she ever got her hands on him. This was the last straw for me and I told her that she’s not allowed anywhere near our baby when he’s born and that she can go ‘F’ herself for saying such a terrible thing. My aunt, Nicky’s mom, said that’s extremely selfish of me and that Nicky was just kidding and deserves a relationship with my son. I refuse to change my mind about this and never want her to see my baby if I can help it. Am I the asshole for deciding this? ######
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NTA. What kind of a person threatens to shake an infant? Your family are the AH for tolerating that and saying it was just a joke.
You are doing the right thing. ######
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I'll try to keep this short. Me and my long-time girlfriend live together in Florida. My girlfriend is Irish and I am American. I normally fly an American flag in our lawn because I think it looks nice and ties the house together with a dash of 'murican patriotism. Sometimes I fly the Irish flag below the American flag.
I'm not trying to politicize this post so suffice it to say that recent events have prompted me to think it was a good idea to maybe just fly the Irish flag for a little while. So I did, Irish flag goes up and our neighbor from a few houses down knocks on our door in the late afternoon. He inquires about the lack of American flag on my pole and tell him I just feel a little bit Irish today, trying to keep things lighthearted.
We've had a few minor run-ins before. He's made some questionable comments about having a threesome since me and my girlfriend are both women and we've used the non-emergency line a few times on him when he gets drunk and starts hollering and making a racket in the wee hours of the morning. Minor mutual dislike on both ends here.
Bob (neighbor) tells me that it's disrespectful to fly any other flag on the top of the staff other than the American flag while on American soil. I tell him that this is my property and any flag I like will fly on the top of the staff whilst on my soil. He huffs away. Our neighborhood is nosy so I got 2 other visits from neighbors that day. One lady who accused me of being "insubordinate" and fake-politely asking me to put the American flag back up and one of my friends who decided to come over and tell me how me and my girlfriend were essentially the juicy new gossip. Fantastic.
Honestly I think this is all pretty stupid and I'm surprised it's become as big of a deal as it has. I suspect that our neighbors are getting bored. Obviously me and my girlfriend have one view of the situation but I'm curious to know what Reddit thinks about all this. AITA? ######
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NTA. What happened to land land of the free and freedom of expression. You fly your flag ######
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I'm the middle of three. I have a younger sister (25) and an older brother (30). I'm 27. My parents, over the years, saved up 30k to be split between my sister and I for when we eventually got married, which would be 15k each.
My sister got engaged before me, and they planned their wedding for April 2020. As you can imagine, this couldn't happen. They'd picked an all inclusive venue and spent the entire 15k. Unfortunately, their venue has been horrible, denied any refund. Wedding insurance doesn't cover pandemics and they're now going under anyway. The 15k is just...gone.
My sister now wants to elope, which my parents and other family are absolutely horrified by. She and her fiance say they can't afford to pay for a wedding themselves because of their job situations. The only thing she has from the first wedding that she could take to a second is her wedding dress, which would still need to be altered.
The women in the family have been crying about it in every conversation I've had with them and begging my sister to not elope, they'll figure it out. My parents now want to take the other 15k and give my sister another wedding, obviously at a different venue.
It ended up being a huge fight of accusing me of blaming my sister for causing the pandemic, wanting her to elope and not get "her wedding" because I'm jealous, and why save it when I'm still single and will be for years now anyway. I'm 27! I'm not an old maid. I'm not jealous of my sister, I was happy for her before all this, but it would have been nice to know that when I got married, my parents could help me out too. I'm not saying it's her fault that the first one didn't happen, but factually she would be getting two weddings paid for and I'll be getting zero.
It's probably happening regardless of what I say, but am I wrong to be a little angry about it? ######
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NTA. What happened sucks, but no, you aren’t wrong for being upset about it. Being told that you have $15k waiting for your wedding and then having it taken away would upset most people. ######
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I had two sons from my first marriage that are now teenagers. I’m remarried and 6 months ago we had a baby girl. This baby is my wife’s first. I totally get what it’s like to be a worried first time parent and it’s not like I’m not worried about certain things, but with others, it’s my third time around. I’ve been there. When the baby projectile vomits, I’m not gonna panic. I don’t judge her for being so, but I think it bothers her that I’m not and she worries that I’m not going to do things right.
When the baby was born, she kept reminding me to support the head. I told her I know, don’t worry, she’s okay. Then as she got older, she kept rattling off facts about temperatures for bath water, how to put her to bed, etc. I was really being as patient as possible and listening.
When all this stuff with the world started going on, things got a bit worse. Things came to a head yesterday when I was trying to feed the baby and she was trying to tell me how to make a bottle. I gently turned to her and said “I know why you’re panicked, but I’ve done all this before, I know what I’m doing.” She for really upset and said that I was trying to say I was better at this and undermining her fears, which I’m not. I’m just saying I have parented before,so I know what to do. She then said it was wrong for me to say that because I shouldn’t remind her of my past like that and I should be supportive. Things have been strained since.
Was I wrong here? ######
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NTA. What does she mean you shouldn’t “remind her of your past”? You have two other kids. You’re a grown up. You had a life before her and that’s a fact she has to accept. It sounds like she’s insecure about her own parenting skills and projecting onto you. ######
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Okay, hear me out. I live in a complex that is built in a circle so its like a track. A lot of people use it to run, walk, etc. I've always used it to run/walk as well. I live in Florida so I usually wear leggings and a sports bra or a tank top. I literally only wear it because it's insanely hot here.
This woman always gave me dirty looks when I'd walk by her apartment (she'd be sitting on her porch.) There are a few maintenance guys (not sure if that is the correct title for them - but that is what everyone calls them) that walk and ride around on golf carts throughout the day. I soon realized that the dirty look woman is married to one of the maintenance workers. I am always polite to them, but have never talked to them by any means.
So, yesterday I was working out on the tennis court which is near their apartment. Her and her husband were sitting on the porch. She is giving me the dirtiest looks and is making me pretty uncomfortable but I try to ignore it. Before I leave she says, "Do you like get off on having the maintenance men check you out all day?" To which I replied, "Actually yes it makes me super wet. They are what keeps my sex drive high." She looked shocked and her husband starting laughing and then she smacked him on the arm.
I came back and told my mom this story and she said I should be more sensitive and obviously the woman is insecure. Now I kinda feel bad. AITA? ######
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NTA. What did she expect? Her goal was to make you feel like crap. You don't have to accept that. Good for you. Mayne she'll think twice in the future. ######
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So, I had this big pot with menstrual cups in it on the stove. The pot was sort of covered with a lid and when I left the kitchen for a few minutes my roommates boyfriend (34) apparently walked in and checked what was inside the pot. He gave me a weird look when I returned, but I didn't think anything of it.
Later, roommate (Jade, 28) came up to me and told me not to do that again. I asked 'do what?' and she said 'you know what, dont play dumb, boyfriend was so embrarassed'. When I realised what she was talking about, I sort of laughed and said something like 'he knows what periods are, right? '
She got offended and said i was the one being weird, the cups were like underwear and it was basic courtesy to not have them out where anyone could see them. Also, she isnt 'banning' boiling the cups, but I have to do it in a private space.
I just told her that it was my house too and I can use the kitchen for whatever I need but she didn't take that well and said that I wouldn't understand because I dont have a bf??? Now she's being all cold and only talking to me when she needs something .
I told my sis and she said I needed to grow up and realise that people were weird about certain things and I should humour her because its such a small thing. Which, ok, Jade is generally pretty cool but this seems so ridiculous. Also, I have no idea how I'm supposed to boil the cups in the bathroom? Dont they need to be at boiling temp for a bit?AITA? ######
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NTA. What business has your roommate's boyfriend looking into pots that aren't his? If he can't handle seeing a clean piece of silicone swimming in boiling water, then he shouldn't snoop. ######
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A friend was just complaining that he got an Amber Alert close to 3 in the morning. I just casually showed him that you could switch it off. He thanked me, and I guess he showed it to a bunch of people.
Eventually that spread until my girlfriend found out that I switched off my Amber Alerts and confronted me about it. She said that I didn’t care about little kids being stolen, and that the reason why Amber Alerts work is because the entire community gets them. “It’s the price we pay to live on a society”. Yeah, no, I pay my taxes. My reasoning was that it’s my phone, and I get to modify it however I want. This has caused a big rift in our relationship.
So, AITA? ######
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NTA. What are you supposed to do if you get an alert at 3 AM?
No, the missing person is not in my bedroom. I don't intend to get dressed, get into my car, and drive around aimlessly. Thank you for waking me for no purpose whatsoever. ######
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Okay I know this is weird. Me and my SO just moved into a new 2 bedroom apartment. We planned to make the second smaller room an office. One of our neighbors from the apartment next door introduced herself as we were moving our stuff in. She’s very chatty and outgoing and we hit it off right away.
She says we seem cool and she wants to ask us a favor: if we could make the east bedroom our master bedroom and make the master bedroom our office. She says this is because the walls are super thin and her room is right on the other side and she could always hear the previous tenants having sex. She said she put up with it then but now that we’re new here and haven’t moved anything in yet, it wouldn’t be a big deal for us to use the other bedroom. That way she wouldn’t be bothered and we wouldn’t have to feel like our privacy was being violated by knowing someone can hear. “Win-win,” she said.
But the thing is the master bedroom is obviously larger than the second bedroom and has two closets. In the smaller room we wouldn’t even be able to fit half of our bedroom furniture. But I’m super non-confrontational and i hate feeling like someone would be mad at me, and don’t want to make an enemy out of our neighbor right off the bat. My SO thinks she’s overstepping and should mind her own business.
Would we be assholes if we moved our bedroom into the master bedroom anyway, even though she asked us politely not to? ######
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NTA. What an extremely bizarre request. Why doesn't she move HER room or bed? Or invest in some sound dampening stuff for the wall? Or get a white noise machine? She has a lot of nerve trying to tell you where to sleep and bang in your own apartment. ######
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This happened a couple years ago, but I recently remembered that it happened and can't stop thinking about if I was in the wrong.
I (20F) had just finished work and decided to grab a drink at Starbucks before catching my train home. Two girls (I'm assuming college age) walked in right after me, and as I was waiting in line I noticed that one of the girls was looking at me.
She noticed me look back her at her and she asked "What's your name?"
I was already a little bit uncomfortable with her looking at me and my name is a bit unique - which would make me easier to find online so I instead of answering I asked "Why?"
She started telling me about how I kinda looked like someone in her class at one of the nearby colleges. I explained that I didn't attend that college so it couldn't be me and I thought that would be the end of the conversation.
Instead she started saying I was being rude by not telling her my name and that giving someone your name when they ask is common decency. I told her I was sorry, but continued to not tell her my name. At this point her friend, who had been on the phone the entire time, finished her call and this girl started telling her about how rude I was being.
Meanwhile, it was my turn to order (I ended up using a random name for my order) and I managed to escape with my drink.
So AITA? Was I being rude? ######
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NTA. What a strange encounter! You are definitely not obligated to tell any stranger your name. No is a complete sentence. The only person acting contrary to typical social decorum was HER. ######
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For context, I have tritanopia colorblindness and I've been bullied for it my whole life. I recently told my friend about it and the questions started pouring in - stuff like 'what color is this', 'read this', stuff like that. I have no problem with joking around about it, but they took it too far.
They kept laughing at me and belittling me because of it so I started to ignore them, yet they didn't realize how rude they were being. I called them insensitive and they responded with 'no im not' and sent a sarcastic heart. They kept messaging me and a day later I said 'I want an apology' to which they responded 'we all want things we cant get'. I told them how much of a cunt they were being and called them immature and went offline for the day.
I have been contemplating blocking them on everything because they took it a step too far.
AITA ? ######
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NTA. Weird thing for someone to make fun of and also not okay of them. The best part of having friends is we get to choose who are friends are and it sounds like they’re not much of one. Surround yourself with people who care about you, don’t waste time on those who don’t ######
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Me - (29M) my wife - Laura (26F) old friend - Shawn (31M)
So my wife and I actually got married in December 2016 so this situation is really fucking bizarre.
An old friend of mine recently got in touch with me after we lost contact many years ago and he saw that I’m married. I didn’t tell him this because we weren’t talking at the time and he got really offended that he wasn’t invited to my wedding.
I told him that there wasn’t a wedding. My wife and I were only engaged for 6 months and took our daughter who was 6 months old at that time and eloped. The only people there were us; our kid and our witnesses were the registry office people. We literally got married on our own terms as we didn’t want a huge reception.
Shawn has used the argument that we used to be really close and that I’m an AH for not considering him as a witness even though joke of my family or friends or Laura’s were there. He also said were assholes for just eloping meaning our marriage must be shit. He then brought my now 3 year old daughter into this and I swiftly blocked him.
I’ve recently brought up this bizarre exchange with my mom and she thinks that Laura and I should have had a proper wedding instead of the registry office reception with our daughter that we wanted. A few others have agreed with her but Laura says they’re idiots for dictating what they think a “real wedding” is and her family and our friends are on our side.
Who’s the AH here? ######
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NTA. Weddings are fun and great and I love going to them but they are not about me or anyone who is not one of the people actually getting married! This is your life! You're allowed to do whatever the hell you want! You wanted a quiet and sudden courthouse wedding, you got one. Done and done. ######
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I (16M) and my brother (12M) live with joint custody between my mom (51F) and dad (53M).
My brother used to have a friend (we’ll call him A) in elementary school. They were never super close and I have never liked A because he is really whiny and spoiled because his parents are very rich. A has a college age brother named N but we never really talk because we don’t have a lot to talk about and he is not home a ton.
A year or two ago my brother stopped hanging out with A because of aforementioned reasons. By this time the dad of A (AD) and my dad had become friends. My brother never formally broke off his friendship with A in the interest of maintaining good will.
Unfortunately, A can’t take a hint. My brother has refused to hang out countless times but A still thinks they are on good terms.
Between this and my dads friendship with AD we go over there sometimes
I do not enjoy being with A’s family because I don’t have any friends over there & A acts bratty and spoiled a lot. My brother does not enjoy it either.
AD and my dad have talked about going camping this summer a lot but when I asked my dad he had always dismissed it as speculation. My dad knows very well that me and my brother do not want to go camping with A. We told him many times over the months but he has not listened.
Tonight my dad told us that he KNEW that we didn’t want to go camping with A’s family but we are going anyway for 4 days. Me and my brother put our feet down between disdain for A and concern for getting COVID (my dad has not been taking COVID-19 as seriously as we would like).
This is not something me and my brother have ever done so adamantly before and we are very serious about it.
My dad passive aggressively uninvited us and called us spoiled, bratty, and disrespectful. I think the real issue here is how he ignored our wishes for months and essentially chose AD over us.
So AITA for not just going or was it the right thing to tell our dad no? ######
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Nta. We’re supposed to be social distancing and even if we didn’t have to, why should you have to go camping with people that you don’t like? ######
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My sister is a single mom, and is also unemployed. She has a 1 month old and just before she gave birth she asked to move in with me because she couldn’t pay her rent anymore and her landlord wasn’t going to let her renew her lease. Now I don’t really like my sister, she’s always gotten preferential treatment by our parents, she had her college tuition paid by them, I had to get a loan, they paid her rent until she was 25, I got a job like a normal human being. Now my mother can’t let her move in because when our dad died she moved into one of those assisted living places. She doesn’t need assistance but it’s kind of like a college dorm for old people I guess. But I’m not a monster so I said okay and let her move in, can’t have a newborn living on the street.
But holy hell its so annoying. All he does is cry all day. I’m trying to work in my office and I just hear him crying away. And then whenever I leave to use the bathroom she’s breastfeeding on the sofa. I’m sick of it. I’d kick her out today if she didn’t have a kid.
I told her yesterday to go upstairs when he cries or she’s going to feed him. I don’t want to see her breastfeeding, and I don’t want to hear crying all day. She got mad and said she doesn’t want to lock herself in her bedroom all day, and I reminded her that she’s living in my house rent free. But then today when I called my mom for Mother’s Day she told me off for making her stay upstairs, saying I can’t lock my sister in her room. Apparently my sister complained to her.
AITA?
Edit: I know what newborns do, but that doesn’t mean she has to do it in the main rooms all the time. I didn’t really have a choice letting her move in. ######
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NTA. We pay taxes so that people like your sister have access to women’s shelters. It’s not “my house or she’ll starve on the street” if you live in any country with a social welfare system. She needs to apply for welfare benefits and social housing because this situation is unsustainable and you think you’re helping but you’re not, you’re enabling her. ######
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I know he automatically sounds like TA, but hear me out. I may be TA.
I (30f) found out today my uncle died. My mom was trying to get a hold of him, couldn't, had police do a wellness check, and it appears he died several days ago.
My mom is beyond devastated, and I'm very sad too. My uncle had a hard life, but was a very good man. I won't bore you with the details, but between an evil ex wife and estranged children due to ex wife, he deserved more.
My bf(30 m) has been trying to be kind and supportive-- he even brought me home all my favourite food.
I had gone through facebook seeing if I could find more info on my uncle's death and only came up on my dad's Facebook. My dad died suddenly at 65 back in 2016. I loved him dearly but I hadn't seen him in 3 years as we live in different provinces... So I have a lot of guilt there. My very beloved aunt also died the night of my dad's funeral.it was a long and sad battle with cancer and I was worried she would pass away while I was burying my dad. And she did... I out while I was writing my dad's eulogy... and .It. Broke. My. Heart.
So this evening while i got teary-eyed and upset about my uncle, I said ' first my dad, then my aunt, now my uncle' to remark on the pain that their deaths caused. Other family members have died, but these ones greatly impacted me.
After saying that, my boyfriend says " ya. that's life" a little dismissively.
I snapped and said " uhhh, fucking thank you? I know that's life? But it doesnt make it any less sad".
Needless to say I got pretty short with him and told him he was being insensitive. He told me I snapped at him and he just wont say anything and will stop talking.
Now I'm grieving AND have this arguement on my hands.
AITA?
I should also note-- my bf is normally extremely kind and sweet. He's a very empathetic person. Which is why I'm wondering if IATA or if he kind of sucks for this right now. ######
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NTA. We all handle grief in different ways. He was out of line for dismissing your feelings. Grieve however you need to and for some, the grief never ends; it just gets easier to process. Look up grief button on google and it details really well how grief affects us as an ongoing thing. You’ve had 3 people who you were close to pass on fairly close together. I do think however, it may be worth it to try and talk to your boyfriend about how his statement came off and hurt.
Edit: here’s the [grief button](https://www.mamamia.com.au/ball-in-the-box-grief/) ######
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So I created a throwaway cause Ill be reveling some facts that would me easy to dox if I used my normal reddit account.
Im a Civilian and I work for the US Army in Korea. Recently due to COVID19 I was put under what they call a Public Health Emergency which has placed restrictions on what Im allowed to do. One of those restrictions is Im not allowed to go to any bars. If I do so and get caught I get banned from all US Military bases which translates into me getting fired.
In addition to that the US Military has undercover military police patroling popular areas looking for violators and people are losing their careers over this. To add to this my job involves me working with the military police so Im confident if I broke the rules and someone saw me id be reported.
My girlfriend of 2 yrs is a Korean citizen and also she lives with me. The rules do not apply to her.
She went out drinking with her girlfriends. She got drunk and told me I needed to come pick her up from the bar. She was in a popular area and its very likely undercover police were watching the bar she was at. I didnt think it was a good idea to risk my career to get her. I told her to take a taxi.
Apparently im the asshole for refusing to pick her up. What do you think?
O she wasnt stranded. She ended up getting a taxi home just fine. ######
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NTA. Was she aware about this rule for you? Either way, the taxi seemed to have gotten her home just fine. ######
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My (F23) cousin (F28) got married a few weeks ago. She paid for flights so my parents and I could be there. They were around 200€ each. She decided I could bring a +1 but she wouldn’t pay for their flight. A few months before I got the invite I started dating my girlfriend Maggie. I asked her if she wanted to be my +1 and she agreed. I‘m bisexual and my cousin didn’t know we were dating as we don’t have the best relationship and don’t talk that much.
However, she knows that I‘m bisexual so my +1 could have either been a male or a female. She never made any homophobic comments before but when I told her I would bring Maggie she was upset. My whole family knows about my sexuality and they are very supportive so it wouldn’t be me outing myself at her wedding. She thinks differently and doesn’t want me to steal her spotlight and be the talk of the wedding. Maybe her friends are against same- sex relationships?.
I‘ve decided not to go to the wedding because I was really hurt and I of course I didn’t want to ruin her day. Even though we’re not that close I didn’t want to be the reason she couldn’t enjoy her special day. Luckily we hadn‘t booked a flight for Maggie yet but my cousin had already booked the flight for my parents and I. I didn‘t bring it up to her beforehand that Maggie would be my +1 because I simply thought it wouldn’t be a problem. My cousin was very angry and upset that I wasn‘t coming and wanted me to pay for my flight which I refused.
It caused a huge family drama and I got quite a few messages from my family that I should have just gone to the wedding without my SO or should have paid her back the money. My cousin now demands an apology and still asks for her money. My friends are conflicted because I could have asked my cousin beforehand if she was okay with me bringing a girl, but when I came out to my family she never voiced that she wasn’t okay with this.
AITA for not paying and should just suck it up ?. ######
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NTA. Was fully prepared to call you an asshole but your reason for cancelling is that your cousin is being a biphobic asshole. She invited you with a guest and offered to pay for your flight, then revoked your guest because it was too gay for her. No reason you should pay for the privilege of not attending her wedding because she's decided to be a giant asshole. ######
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I went over to this guys house to hook up. I am 19 years old, female, and live with my parents while I attend college. They are strict Christians. I do not have enough to move out as rent is a minimum of 1k a month where I live and minimum wage is 8 an hour. Anyway I got back and my mother took my car and has grounded me. Which was whatever. My mother said no hookups in her house or some bullshit so it’s whatever. Well, I made the fucking mistake of going to the grocery store with her. And, I forgot I still had a super super faint hickey mark. She screamed at me in the middle of the store and got home and told my fucking dad. I am BEYOND EMBARRASSED right now and extremely angry. I understand their house their rules but my sex life is not their business!! AITA? ######
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NTA. Wait, they grounded you and took your car? Um, no, if the car is in your name they can not take that away from you. Do you have a friend you can stay with to get away from them? Your mother sounds like an absolute asshole though, yelling at you in a store for something that is none of her business. ######
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Two days ago my(22F) dad (52) accidentally found out that I‘m gay. I was listening to music and was on Tinder and didn’t notice that he was in the room. He came up behind me and saw what I was doing. There was no point in denying it (he knows how the app works) and I thought that this might be the time to finally get the truth out.
Judging by the title you can already guess that it didn’t go well. He started yelling that I was throwing my life away, how disgusting same-sex relationships are and the list goes on. He didn’t let me explain myself at all and left me crying in the room but not before calling me a waste of space. That hurt so much I can‘t even explain it. He had made a few homophobic comments before and I wasn’t sure how he would take my coming out. But I guess I’ve always thought he would be somewhat supportive of his own daughter. I called a friend who picked me up that night and she lets me stay at her place for as long as I need. He reached out yesterday and said he wanted to talk and apologized saying he said all that on the spur of the moment. I haven’t answered yet and don’t really feel like talking. My friends say I don’t owe him anything but he‘s practically all the family I have left and maybe he will come around. ######
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NTA. wait until you're ready. ######
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It’s my boyfriends adult sons birthday next week. My boyfriend volunteered me without my permission to clean his entire house. I told him no and he got very mad at me. He has volunteered me to clean other relatives/friends houses too. He said I was being selfish and lazy. I know it’s his birthday, but I’m certain he can clean his house.
***Edit- I live in a country that wasn’t hit hard by the virus so parties under 10 are allowed.*** ######
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NTA. Volunteering someone *else's* time and effort isn't a call anyone but the person themselves should be making so casually. If he was so set on getting the house cleaned for his son's birthday, he should've offered himself or *asked* and gone from there. ######
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I will try to keep this as concise as possible.
My wife and I have been together for going on 27 years. We met at a pretty low point in both of our lives, coming from broken homes and an unhealthy dependency on food. We both probably weighed around 300lbs, and though our weight has fluctuated over the years we both currently sit at around 350lbs and 450lbs respectively, with her being the latter.
I cook all the food that we eat as my wife is unable to be on her feet long enough to make meals. I am completely okay with this, as I’ve really been able to hone in on my cooking skills over the years and can essentially throw down in the kitchen. When my oldest daughter told us she was pregnant a few months back, it really made me reevaluate our lifestyle choices. I wanna be able to run around with my grandkids, but I can’t do that in my current situation. Over the course of several months I’ve been looking into healthier alternatives of our favorite foods and trying to exercise more, slowly implementing both into our lives and my wife was initially on board.
More recently she’s stopped wanting to workout with me which I respected, but I’ve continued to cook healthier meals and she no longer wants to eat them. I’ve stopped buying junk and with a suspended license she can’t drive to get fast food, so I assumed she would just eat what I made like she always has. She feels like I’m forcing a lifestyle into her that she never agreed to, but I’m not pushing her to eat what I’ve made or workout. I suggested she could learn to cook what she wants and I would even help her, but I won’t continue to cook foods I no longer want to eat. Does this make me TA? ######
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NTA. Versions of this scenario are posted here all the time from both sides; judgement is still the same, she’s an adult, she can either get food for herself or eat what the person who is cooking for the house is making. You aren’t obligated to cook something you don’t want just to appease her. ######
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I’m gonna keep this short because I’m getting madder by the second.
So me and my boyfriend plan to move in together after New Years. We both live at home with our families right now and we’re just too old for this and need our privacy. The big problem per the title is that his high school age sister has a dog that she got last year. Now I advised them that she shouldn’t get a dog because she’s always out with friends and will be going to college in 2 years anyways and won’t be able to take him since she’ll be so busy.
Now fast forward to now and he’s telling me in-a-matter-of-fact way that he is going to take over the dog when she leaves for college next year, when we will be living together. I do not want a dog. I don’t want to pay the deposit on having a dog at the apartment. I have had a dog my entire life and I know they cost time and money that we won’t have. Mostly him because he works long hours and all the responsibilities will fall on me. Neither of them are experienced pet owners. He’s a big dog, which I had from experience and I loved them but it kinda sucks. He’s also loud every time someone moves. I’m mad. I’m mad that this was just decided upon and I’m supposed to go along with it. I want to tell him that I don’t want to live with him if he’s bringing this dog that was never my responsibility to begin with. Is that rude?
Like I get it’s his sister’s dog and he doesn’t want the dog to be alone but there’s 3 more people in the house who can take care of him, who currently take care of him! He just volunteered! ######
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NTA. Usually when this topic comes up it's someone wanting their partner to get rid of a preexisting pet to accommodate them. But it sounds like you were planning to move in together prior to him accepting this dog, in which case he definitely should be consulting you and have it be a joint decision. You didn't agree to have a dog when you decided to move in together, it's not fair of him to just expect you to go along with this especially if you'll be the one expected to care for it most of the time. ######
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Last night my partner had a uni exam that went quite late. I cooked dinner and we ate it upstairs in bed.
This morning I saw that he peed into one of the tupperware containers we keep food in after finishing his dinner. I told him it was absolutely repulsive because that's where we keep food. He said it shouldn't matter because it's just salt water and hed wash it out. I told him it was disgusting and he should throw out the container or mark it because I dont want to use it anymore.
He BLEW UP and told me I was overreacting and using anger to get my way. He then scrubbed the container and mixed it in with the other Tupperware so I couldnt mark it.
Now we aren't speaking. He says my reaction was way over the top and all guys do this. I say its gross that he peed in the container and even grosser for trying to hide it from me so that I have to use it.
So internet people, AITA? ######
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NTA. Urinating in food containers was a thing you expressed to be gross, then he mixed the tupperware containers up so you have to perpetually wonder which one's the pisserware? Yikes.
Can he hold his bladder to get to the cold, far-away bathroom, does he have a medical issue or is he a sloth? Good god, what else is he pissing in. What else. Set it all on fire.
Edit: Thanks for the awards and upvotes! ######
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My mom made the decision on her own to allow my aunt (her sister) and my cousin to move in with us after she lost her job, her home, and essentially became homeless. She never mentioned it to me and I'm not heartless.. I understand what's going on, but they have been here for two weeks now and I cannot stand it.
The reasons I am losing my mind is because my aunt doesn't do anything but drink and watch tv in the living room all day, where they sleep, and my cousin who is 29 is literally a couch potato. He has never held a job in his life and has no plans too, on top of that his hygiene is fucking terrible. He refuses to take a shower and it's fucking gross. He wakes up at 7AM and immediately gets on his laptop until 11PM, no joke. While this occurs he demands my aunt to wait on him. He's useless. I almost throw up in my own home because he stinks so bad. My mom ignores this all by locking herself in her room and it's fucked up because it's not just us four. My boyfriend, my brother, his girlfriend, and their baby live here too.
In conclusion we’re all fucking sick of it, but my mom doesn't want to kick her out because it's her sister but I think sometimes even though shit hurts it has to be done. AITA?
TL;DR living in an uncomfortable situation with aunt and cousin, we’re sick of it but nothing’s being done. ######
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NTA. Unplug the internet until he has a shower..If he doesn't like it then simply change the password until he does start to like it. ######
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Basically I went out on my lunch break and left my AirPods on my desk, keep in mind I work in a very small office with 7 other people who I trust.
When I got back to my desk I looked for my AirPods and I was certain I’d left them on my mouse pad as I always do I checked my draws and on the floor in case I’d knocked them down without noticing, meanwhile my co worker walks over and asks if I was okay and I tell them I was just looking for my AirPods and then they walked off.
15 mins later the same coworker comes up to me and puts my AirPods on my desk and says I shouldn’t leave things like that around and says he did it to teach me a lesson.
I snapped and told him not to take my stuff again, I’m not sure if I over reacted but I don’t like my stuff being taken to “teach me a lesson”
AITA ######
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Nta. Unless you work with your father and you’re 15, this person has no business trying to teach you a lesson. ######
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I am not English so sorry for any mistakes or missunderstandings ahead of time. I am 27M if that is relevant and the woman was in her early 20's.
2 days ago on Saturday I woke up at like 2 AM(So technically sunday morning I guess) by what I can only describe as weird moans outside my window. When I looked outside there was a young woman rolling around in my front yard so I figured she must have been hit by a car or something and ran outside to help.
Nope, she was drunk, like really fucking drunk, weird noises, puking, halfnaked it was pretty damn disgusting to be honest.
So I tried to communicate with her and after like 5 minutes she literally tossed her phone in my general direction afterwhich I used her finger to unlock it and called someone marked as "Sister". After several tries she answered with as extremely pissed of voice(2 AM so makes sense lol)
Well I explained the situation and she told me she'd be like 20 minutes and to take her sister inside and put her on the couch or something. I said no because I am not putting someone who is literally laying in her own puke on my couch.
Well after like 15 minutes of me trying to give this girl coffee without her spilling it allover herself her sister arrived and immefiatly begun yelling at me for "Not helping her sister" and "Being an asshole for not putting her inside and cleaning her up asnow her car will be ruined."
I was pretty damn stunned but I got a bit of a temper myself(Mom is Serbian lol) and told her to take her sister and get the F out of here before I call the police on her sorry ass for trespassing, flipped her off and walked back inside.
Now I was pretty sure I was not TA but when I told my girlfriend on the phone the next day she said I was because the girl might have been freezing outside and that it was dangerous to not take her inside. So now I am confused, was I TA? ######
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NTA. Unless you were ankle deep in snow she wasn't freezing any time soon. You did a wonderful thing by getting up and helping her by getting her sister there and making sure she was not actually hit by a car or anything. The sister was awful, I would have been so grateful and apologetic if I was in her shoes. You did good, her being a puking mess isn't your responsibility - keeping her alive and getting help is as a fellow human being. That's what you did and that's fine. ######
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For starters, he uses my car because his is wrecked (not a car accident, he didn't do repairs when needed and eventually everything started failing). I only have my temps because of the lockdown, and I'm giving it another week or so until the lines are short enough for me to be willing to take the driving test. Since I cant drive as much as him, I've been letting him drive mine. Before his car ultimately died, I helped him clean it out. It was like a goddamn hoarder's house it was so disgusting. Moldy food in fast food bags, dozens if not a hundred half empty bottles of drinks, and god knows what embedded in the seat fabric. I had completely vacuumed and deep cleaned every inch of my car when I bought it (2004 grandpa-mobile so it was in need of a good clean, and I treat it like my child because I paid for it by myself as my first vehicle). Within a week of him driving it, there were crumbs on the floor and not a single cupholder was empty. Not only this, but he accidentally left a bag of buns under the seat. I told him to take it out when I found it, he left for work, and I realized it was still there weeks later because he forgot about it again. Moldy af. I had to clean everything again myself, and snapped saying that the next time I find so much as a straw wrapper left in the car he wont be allowed to drive it anymore. He is saving up for a down payment on a nice car so I've been patient with him, but he's starting to make messes again.
WIBTA if I finally stop letting him drive it? He would have to take uber everywhere which would slow down his buildup of savings. ######
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NTA. Unless you want to potentially live with a slob in the future you should make it very clear you won’t tolerate that going forward. ######
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Me and my wife split when our son was around 4ish, I don't want to go in-depth but she got married almost 3 months after our divorce. We split custody 50/50 so I got him 2 weeks every month and summer while she got him for easter and christmas.
My ex's husband brought 4 kids together with my ex and my son, I don't have any other kids so it was just him. My son changed the custody when he was 13 to where he spends summers, christmas and 3 weeks at my place with 1 week at their. I know the divorce was hard and we did put him in therapy but he stopped after awhile cause he didn't feel anything was really changing and he seems better.
He texted me that he was coming over, and my ex called me and she was very mad at me. She said that I am poisoning our son, cause she said that he NEVER talks to his step dad or step siblings. She said thinks like he calls himself an only child, never talks to his step siblings at all, never talks to his dad and said that if he could would live with me full time. She got mad and told me to have a talk with him cause this isn't right or fair to her husband or kids.
I told my ex that if he has having troubles at her house that is her business and not mine. She hung up the second I said that and I didn't bring it up with my son. AITA? ######
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NTA. Unless you are poisoning your son, but it sounds more like he doesn't like his step siblings or step father. You don't have to solve their problems, but it wouldn't hurt to talk to your son about why he doesn't like spending time there. Maybe there are some easily solveable issues that would make things better for him. ######
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I know I'm the asshole for that pun, sorry.
Ok so here's the thing, shortly before the quarantine, there was a situation at work. We have a scent sensitive colleague who'd been around for a few months. Naturally, there was a ban on perfumes and scented creams so she can breathe. I'm fine with this. However, she started telling me I needed to change my laundry detergent.
The problem is, I have an allergy to SOMETHING in most laundry detergents. I honestly don't know exactly what it is, but I can basically only use the one or I break out in hives. And while I could realistically test a few different ones and only wash like one shirt in it, I don't really want to go out there spending 15+$ on detergent I'll likely be allergic to, you know? I did ask her what she used and bought some and it did not end well.
Fortunately, I've been working from home and haven't had to deal with this, but I just got an email from work saying we're scheduled back in two weeks and I'm not looking forward to this starting up again.
WIBTA if I refused to change my detergent? Like, I get that breathing is more important than my epidermis, but I can't be breaking out into hives all the time either. X_x ######
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NTA. Unless the person or workplace wants to reimburse you, you shouldn’t have to come out of your pocket to do trials. They should be sensitive to both of your issues. And if it’s incompatible, maybe assign you to separate spaces. ######
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I’m actually making this post for my mom, because she doesn’t have a reddit account. I’ll show her the results.
Anyways, we went to a Best Buy today to look at TVs because we’re moving, and our TV is ancient and barely works anymore. When we left the store, we heard a dog barking. A dog was left in a car, not running so no AC, with one window barely cracked. It was 85 degrees out today, so the temperature in the car would’ve gotten to 104 after just 10 minutes, 115 after 20. Dogs suffer from heat exhaustion when their body temperature reaches 103 degrees, and are at risk of heat stroke when they reach 106 degrees.
First, my mom when in the store to ask them to page the owner, but the employees refused. My mom then decided to call the police, because we had no way of knowing how long the dog had already been in the car, or how long it would be until the owners got back. My mom didn’t want to risk the dog dying if the owners stayed in the store too long. So she called the police, and waited until they arrived. About 5-10 minutes after we found the dog, the owners got back. My mom let them know that she had called the police, and obviously they were mad at her because of it. They called her “uncaring.” So my mom is doubting herself, thinking maybe she took it too far. What do you think? ######
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NTa. Uncaring? You mean, like leaving a dog in a hot car? ######
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So this is going to be pretty short and simple.
As me and my partner have been starting to plan out the birth of our child I told him I want the two of us to have some time to just bond with the baby. As I have been looking up the rules due to COVID we realised this wouldn’t be a problem. I am allowed one birthing partner which will be my partner, and he is the only one allowed to visit following the rules.
At first my mum tried to insist that she would be there but quickly agreed that if I wanted my partner then that was fine. However the other day I mentioned that because of COVID we won’t be allowed visits either. She kept saying that she didn’t care and she would still be there and would wait outside to meet the baby if she isn’t allowed in. I get that she’s excited but this felt a little too far for me, as if she was expecting me to give birth and instantly go outside so she could meet her grandchild.
I love my mum to bits but this is kind of pushing me towards not telling her when I go into labour and only telling her when my baby is born (she’ll have about an hour and a half drive to get there anyway) just so I can postpone a little bit of stress. I want her to meet the baby as soon as she can, but I don’t want to be giving birth feeling stressed about it.
Will I be the asshole if I don’t tell her when I go into labour? ######
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NTA. Ultimately this is about making sure you have as little stress as you can for giving birth, and without worrying about your babies health etc. Her hurt feelings can be soothed after, a bad labour can cause permanent issues. ######
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Throwaway
I am a 55 year old man and my wife is 56. My wife recently got a job in it building I worked at for the past 5 years. I make more than my wife for the same job and I am in a hire position than her and I work longer hours than my wife. My wife thinks that it's sexist that I get payed more than her for the same job and asked me to quit or complain about the sexist pay.
I refused and told her if I quit my job we won't be able to afford the house and we would be homeless and that we won't be able to get grocery plus I told my wife that I have years more experience than her. My wife yelled at me saying it's sexist and asked me if I am supporting sexism in the work place.
I told her no I am not but I am not quitting my job. My wife became furious and left and is not talking to me.I feel that my wife is right and I am the asshole hear. So I want to know if I am the bad guy who supports sexism ######
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NTA. U have 5 years of experience working for that company, compared to your wife, plus U work longer hours than her. Definitely, you get higher pay, than her. How can it be sexist?! ######
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So I've been at the same place for 15+ years. Kinda toxic environment with no chance of moving up in the company any time soon. Been looking at another job making more money and about the same benefits since January. Submitted my resume, took their aptitude test and now scheduled for an interview. Nothing promised but outlook is good. AITA if I get it and just turn in my 2 weeks notice or should I mention that I'm applying other places? ######
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NTA. Two weeks is standard. You owe them nothing more.
Do not tell them you are looking elsewhere. ######
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So me and my wife (Jessica) have been together for 6 years now married for 1. However throughout that time my MIL (Julia) has always been a little on the distrustful side when it comes to me. For reference my wife is full German and I am a Puerto Rican.
It started off small so I never really cared, comments like “So Jessica how does it feel to have a taste of brown sugar?” Or one day she made some tacos for everyone and said “I hope I made them just like your mom does!” For those who don’t know tacos are a Mexican dish not a Puerto Rican dish. But none of those comments bothered me because the tacos tasted good and she tried, I get that she’s older and whatnot and she always seemed to be happy to see me so whatever.
But then I proposed to my fiancé and things started to get really weird. Like I’m talking “Oh no now our bloodline isn’t gonna be pure!” She said that as a joke but still really really weird right, but still I but my tongue cause her husband hasn’t said anything and also the entire family seems to love me and Julia actually started to try and learn Spanish.
But then me and Jessica buy a house and move in and Julia was giving Jessica some first house buying advice. Except I overhear her say, “Now you know how those people are ok their families are really close, so if they come to move in out of nowhere you have to fight to keep them out this is your space.” So I said, “Well my family isn’t a bunch of animals so how about you please leave we have a bunch of unpacking to do and in the meantime you can go to hell.”
Needless to say Julia is a total mess and went into a screaming match where “She knew i wasn’t the one for my daughter because she could sense there was something wrong with me.” I stayed quiet throughout the whole thing but now when Julia slammed the door behind her my wife turned to me and said “I get that was messed up but did you have to say that go to hell part asshole.” But seriously dealing with casual racism is enough, AITA? ######
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NTA. Tu suegra es una pendeja racista y si sigue con esa mierda no l dejaría entrar a tu casa ni q vea los nietos si deciden tenerlos hasta q deje sus pendejadas. ######
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Growing up, my sister had never been supportive of me. We were never very close. I ended moving out very early because we got into a yelling match about her not picking me up from the airport because she got drunk.
A year ago, I moved to a different state for a job and broke up with my then bf. When she came down to help me move, she told me I was a bitch for not letting my ex move in with me because he "loved me". When she went back home, I learned through said ex that she had invited him to dinner and he was going to go. I texted her and told her I was really disappointed that she did that and as my sister she should be supporting my decision to leave a toxic relationship. She then told me I was a disrespect brat and she couldn't believe how entitled I was and that she was disgusted I would even say something like that to her. She then called me a stuck up bitch for shoving it in her face that I'm more successful than she is... When all I did was tell her I felt disrespected.
I decided to cut ties with her and deleted her off social media. When I come visit, I steer clear of her as much as I can. But when I tell people I don't talk to her, they all tell me I'm a brat and need to keep her in my life and forgive everything she does BECAUSE she's my sister... So AITA for cutting ties with her? ######
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NTA. Truthfully, people think that you need to be friends with family. You do not. It doesnt matter that she's your sister if she disrespects you. You don't deserve that. At least, I dont think so, based off the information provided. Good for you for realizing that you dont need someone that disrespectful in your life. ######
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Background: I dated this guy for 2 almost 3 years. At first everything was fine he is literally the smoothest guy I’ve ever talked to, then all of a sudden something happened with his apartment. He said the lease expired and his landlord was doubling his rent if he renewed it, being 19 at the time I believed him. To make a long story short he drained my bank account, destroyed my car, and left me with PTSD (diagnosed). I now have a restraining order against him. Onto the story.
Approximately a year after we broke up I got an executive chef job at a new restaurant, at this restaurant we had a server who was like a ray of sunshine was personified. Shortly after she turned 18 she started talking about this cool older guy she was hanging out with. She I figured by older she meant 21 or so and just kind of rolled my eyes as she didn’t immediately say anything too alarming.
Then one day she said his name, now his name is really uncommon in the area we’re from, it’s also spelled weird. I asked how it was spelled and she told me, then I asked his age and he was 26 at the time. Finally I asked for a picture and lo and behold it was him.
We were slow so I had one of my line cooks take over and told him to call me if I was busy and same to one of the hosts at the front for her. I went over everything he did to me with her and at the end told her to make her own decisions but he really wasn’t a good guy.
Since that day I’ve had mutual friends of ours and his family (brother, that’s how we met) that I’m friends with tell me that I’m awful.
From their perspective he’s a changed man and I ruined his chance at happiness and I overstepped boundaries. He’s been telling the mutual friends I did it to make him miserable and they’ve been believing him.
From my perspective I was protecting a young girl from making the same mistakes I did.
AITA? ######
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NTA. Truth is truth and you encouraged her to make up her own mind. If he wants a different reputation, let him work on it. ######
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She snapped me late last night. My "friend." She asked if I would get a letter notarized for her. I thought it was a strange request, because I live in Colorado and in this state the signature must match the ID presented.
I asked her to elaborate on the letter. She said the letter said I am the landlord and her boyfriend lives on my property.
First of all, I'm not a landlord and her boyfriend doesn't live on my property because I don't own property.
Backstory: she lives in public housing and the housing authority found out that her boyfriend lives with her. To prevent eviction, she had to submit letter today that stated her boyfriend lives elsewhere.
She basically asked me to perjure myself. I said no.
But if she was a true friend, she would never have asked me this. Am I right?
I'm angry with her. I don't feel sorry for her. And I do hope she gets evicted.
And I feel like the asshole! ######
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NTA. True friends don’t ask their friends to break the law for them and this sounds like something that can very easily be found out. ######
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I'm working at home now taking calls about people's loans. I got a call from some woman asking some info about her payment history and then requested a copy. So I said I'd send her a full payment report. And then *click click* "Done"
Silence for a bit. And the she asked "Are you sending it?"
I told her I just did. And then she got a little irritated. "That's it?" she said in an irritated tone.
"Yes, I already sent it." She then said "what's with your attitude?"
I said everything in a very neutral tone so I was confused. I simply said "Everything is done. Do you have any more questions?"
She then ranted at me a bit about how I was apparently acting cocky because I did that "too quickly" and easily. So I simply explained to her that it takes only a few clicks to email the info she had requested. And then she screamed "that's not the point!" and screamed a bit more and swore at me before hanging up.
All I did was send her the info she requested in a quick manner. I'm confused. So am I an asshole? ######
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NTA. Tone police are garbage people who are offended by anything short of theatrically fake enthusiasm by customer service workers. They do not deserve an extra second of your self doubt. Unfortunately, you are likely to encounter them from time to time in any customer facing role. ######
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