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My sister and I share a bathroom. The bathroom has two towel hangers.
Recently my sisters towel hanger broke off and now it needs to be completely replaced. She absolutely refuses to go and buy a replacement and install it.
Instead she has just been using my towel hanger. She will slide mine over so hers can fit too. Which I find gross. It’s been annoying the fuck out of me. So each time she does it I take her towel and put it in her laundry basket.
Now she has started to do the same thing with my towel even though it’s my towel hanger.
Im tired of going into the bathroom only to find my towel in the laundry basket all gross and damp, so today I went and just removed my whole towel rack and hid it. I got some hooks for the back of my bedroom door to use instead.
She got pissed off and came barging into my room to ask why happened to it.
I just said it was gone.
She asked what I meant and what happened to it.
I said I would put it back when she fixed her.
She said I was being childish and if I just shared mine it wouldn’t even be an issue. ###### | NTA. You guys already determined that each of you would have their own separate towel hanger. And I am sure her towel was not drying along with yours. ###### |
Ok...so, my girl and I are sitting on the couch watching some TV. She's on her phone wearing yoga pants and a Tshirt, basically laying on her stomach with her ass right next to me and her legs across my lap. I'm playing my Switch chilling.
Then suddenly she lets rip a massive ass clapping fart, and it smells fucking rotten. I naturally react without even thinking and say, "Goddamn!" and put my hand to my face and get up to go smoke a cigarette. Now, it wasn't my intention to hurt her feelings, but she clearly felt self-conscience and said her feelings were hurt. I apologized, but she says I should have just ignored it. Now, we have been together for a while, and yes we fart in front of each other and even laugh about it. But she basically farted right into my face full force and I just reacted. She thinks I'm a complete asshole, I apologized but said you know maybe don't shoot a fart right into my fucking mouth next time.
I got nothing against farts, but goddamn I did my best not to be a complete dick about it, and going out for a smoke seemed the best choice at the moment to let the air clear.
AITA? ###### | NTA. You get to react to someone farting in your face, regardless of whether they’re embarrassed by it or not. ###### |
(TW: miscarriage) This is my third pregnancy. Multiples run very strongly in my family so I always knew there was the potential for more than one. I was shocked though when my first ultrasound revealed triplets. I wasn’t exactly thrilled as this was to be our last baby and I was going for three kids not five but I came around to the idea. However at the next ultrasound we lost two of the three triplets. Neither my SO or I were really that sad. We still had one baby, it was still very early and we both know if you miscarry there is a reason those babies were not compatible with life so we kinda just moved on. However when it came up with different family members and friends they are absolutely appalled that we are not spiraling into depression. They think it is so weird and AHish that we “don’t care”. We just figured it’s how it was meant to be and there’s nothing we could have done anyways. So AITA? ###### | NTA. You get to feel however you want. It is your life and your process. Just because you feel one way now doesn’t mean that won’t change in the future, and if your feelings stay the same then those are still your feelings - they only exist for you to feel them, not for others to judge. ###### |
So back story, 6 or 7 years again my mom and dad were married. Some friends came over and my mom was all over this guy, and my dad noticed and said something about it. Then she left with him, and monday served my dad with divorce papers. Reason 1 why I dont like him, he should have said no.
Fast forward some, I'm in the military and I get a few calls from my mom, and she tells me that he has laid his hands on her, but dont do anything about it or say anything, this continues until I get home. I get another call, and I'm over there in a flash. Him and I got in a fist fight. But he hasnt laid his hands on my mom again, or at least what I know of. I love my mom, but she has said she only deals with him because his money, she a gold digger.
And that's only part of the reason of why I cant stand him. But now I'm about to be getting married, I have made it very clear that I dont like d-bag and dont want him there, or if he is there, he wont be in the family section. Well for some reason this set something off with my mom, and she went from talking shit on him constantly, to flipping and saying "I HAVE to respect him because he is my stepfather." I told her "he is your husband, that is it, he is nothing to me". Now my mom is mad at me for my decision.
Reddit AMTA? ###### | Nta. You get to decide who you want attending your wedding. I’m not sure, were I you, that I’d even want my mother there. ###### |
I’m a closeted lesbian, since my family is Christian and since I live in an asian country I keep it to myself. I’m not ashamed about who I am but I am afraid of people’s reactions.
Anyway I told one person, a friend (let’s call her Lana).When I told her she was surprised but eventually accepted me.
A few months later I had a work party to celebrate a new employee joining. I invited Lana to join. We were having a good time, then I got up to go to the bathroom. When I returned to the group, I heard her loudly telling my coworkers and my boss that I was a lesbian and she even used the “F word “to describe me. When she saw me walking towards the group she changed the subject.
Not wanting to cause a bigger scene I waited until after the party to confront her. She told me that I was “hearing things” and that I shouldn’t trust my own eyes and ears because I was probably drunk. I wasn’t.
So I stopped talking to her. A few days later she called me and admitted she said it but said that she won’t apologize for telling people the truth.
After that day I reflected on our friendship and realized how toxic she was. And her l
narcissistic tendencies.
But some of our mutual friends that she told the story to said that I overreacted, that I am an asshole for not accepting her “apology”. ###### | NTA. You get to decide who knows and when you tell them. Your safety could be at risk and she is publicly outing you? Cut her off ASAP ###### |
Back story: My 13 year old sister suffers with anxiety and wants my mother to drive her around for hours. We were sharing a car that I bought, the mileage was rapidly increasing, I had to rely on my mother to pick me up as she always had the car. I cut my losses, gave my mother the car and purchased a new car.
Present issue: break light on mother’s car is out and have been like this since March. She’s now using my car to drive my sister around for hours a day. It’s an old car and I’ve asked her not to drive it around this way. They’re messy and leave food and rubbish in there, which I feel is disrespectful.
I’ll need it for travelling to college everyday in September and I’m worried all the unnecessary driving will cause damage that I can’t repair.
When I do need the car, the petrol is below empty, so I need to fill it up for them to just blow through it again.
Mother and sister have been out all day again because my sister is crying and anxious. I empathise with her because I also suffer with anxiety. However, I don’t feel that driving around for hours is going to help her. My mother constantly moans how she cannot cope with driving around all day, yet is doing just that.
I’ve had stern words with my mother today due to her driving my car around again after I’ve filled the petrol tank and after I emphasise yesterday and this morning to please not drive it around. She’s offered to put £10 of petrol in, which is not even half of what they’re using. My mother is furious and I’ve had shitty text messages off my sister. I feel guilty because I know my sister is struggling and once again I’m the bad person for standing my ground. On the other hand I’m so frustrated because I’m not being respected or even listened to.
Am I being the asshole in this situation? ###### | NTA. You gave your mom the first car and that still wasn’t enough for her. She’s taking advantage of you. ###### |
Last year my mom was diagnosed with pretty much a death sentence, ALS. I talked to my ex and he didn’t wanna just let me take our son( now 14). So we agreed to talk to him and let him know what was happening, kinda, I just told him grandma was really sick and I was thinking of moving to help out and he had the choice of coming w me or staying w his dad. It was painful but he choose to stay and I respected it, I just didn’t tell him how bad my mom was idk if that would have changed anything but I didn’t wanna guilt him or anything like that. I have friends who have said I should have let him know the extent of my mom illness and guilted my ex into letting my son move w me but I just can’t do that. He’s a teen and loves me and his dad and comes for the summer and spring break I can’t guilt him into wanting to live w me. It across the country like a 24 hr drive. I feel like an AH for not doing everything to get my son to live w me but I don’t want him to resent me for making him move, so tell me honestly AITA? ###### | Nta. You gave your child a choice and he chose then you respected his decision. Sounds like you need better friends. ###### |
I'll try to keep it short. I was using my boss's personal truck for a 4-month long work project. He's the President of the company. That project ended at the end of January. I got quotes before the end of the project on getting it shipped back to him because I knew he'd put it off and I'd get stuck with his truck and a bunch of work equipment, and I wanted to avoid that.
But he just brushed the quotes off and I got stuck with it anyway. He lives 13 hours away from me btw. 8 weeks go by and due to world events, we can't get any work. I get laid off. During that call when he's laying me off I tell him he needs to make arrangements to get his truck and the equipment back. He says he'll work on it. After another lie about when I'll be receiving my last check (no severance), I had to wait 6 days from being laid off to get the last of my pay and expenses reimbursed. At this point, I've had his truck for 9 weeks, and he's made no attempt to come to get it.
I don't want his truck parked in front of my house anymore. I email him and tell him he has 14 days to get his truck, or arrange for it to be shipped, or I'm going to take it up to the airport, and valet park it so it can be locked and the equipment kept safe, and he can retrieve it when he's ready.
He never emailed me back, but I did see an email he sent another coworker about it, and apparently he doesn't understand why I just won't hold onto his truck and the equipment for a few more months and I've got a bad attitude. and if they got work again he couldn't see bringing me back because he couldn't work with someone in the future who had this kind of attitude.
he's got two days left. but I've not been contacted by him.
so, am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. You gave him lots of warning. You are planning on depositing his truck in a safe place that isn’t in front of your place. ###### |
Writing on mobile. Sorry for the length, but I wanted to include the messages as they were sent without using imgur.
My mum has a habit of taking photos of me and used to post them to the book of faces without asking. I have always been self concious about my apperance, and now that I'm 36 weeks pregnant and huge, my confidence in my apperance is non existant. I sent a photo of my bump to the family chat because she had been begging me too, and added a note that said
"Btw I know I don't need to say it, but please don't share that photo I put up" (directly copied).
She then went on a compete rant which is a bit long, but here's the abridged version.
"I hope that I hv proved to all of un that I respect your privacy Hasn’t I I only post my garden and projects That keeps me restricted from the roof tops what I want to share about my pride of my immediate family I only wish my family would recognise and acknowledge that instead of constantly warning me not to breach that confidentiality As far as I’m aware I hv respected that wish By pretending it’s all about me And I seem to never get there Trusted ! Really? The grave Maybe"
(spelling errors ECT copied directly, sorry, her messages are always hard to translate).
I finished by leaving this;
"It's not about trust mum. I've never liked photos of me, now even less, but you said you wanted to see them and putting them here feels very vulnerable. I'd rather not comment anymore if everything I say is going to cause you offense."
So AITA? Do I need to apologise? ###### | NTA. You gave a simple warning that triggered her because she’s previously disrespected your requests but that is not your fault. ###### |
alright I've been working on a comic book for a bit, and I had used another Reddit page to look for an artist, I found a lot of good ones and I was about to choose them, but then I realized with the number of issues I would need and their prices, there would be no way for me to afford them.
In walks my buddy, who has been like a reviewer for my comic, I've sent him scripts and concept art to give me his opinion on, then two weeks he sends me a text while I'm on vacation and its a drawing of one of the three main characters...well it looked amazing, I was blown away, then last night he sent me two more sketches of other characters that have appeared and I swear it was like looking at a real comic book drawing.
I asked him after the first sketch if he'd want to be my artist for the comic, he said of course and that he while being supportive of me looking for an artist actually wanted to do it himself. so basically we made an agreement.
Well, my girlfriend's sister told me that I was being cheap not using these professional artists and instead was giving my buddy the job, she said these guys probably needed the job more than my friend and that I should tell my friend I changed my mind.
I told her no, and that I feel the comic would work better with two people who genuinely love the comic and not someone who's only gonna draw it on commission.
in my mind, I want like a Jack Kirby to my Stan Lee, Greg Capullo to my Scott Snyder, and Gary Frank to my Geoff Johns (if your not big into comics these are great teams that gave there all to there comics).
I even told her that it's not like my friends drawing for free when we finish the comic and end up selling it, I'm splitting the profit with him 50/50, and if we aren't able to sell I'm still paying him for his work.
But am I the asshole for going with my friend that I know, then an artist I don't? ###### | NTA. You found an artist - your friend. You like their style, they obviously want to work alongside you, you support each other. What more could you want! ###### |
I'm a straight A student and an okay with a B if I know my work clearly reflects it. For this class, I have no grading platform (blackboard, google classroom) to tell me the grades of my assignments. I can partially rely on the professor to return my grades. Now, I've been told that I'm not good with explaining, but bear with me please.
End of semester and I get my final grades, all A's except for one B. This B is in that one class, so I email the professor to ask why I got a B and for advice on how I can do better in future classes. They gave me a break down of my grades and said I didn't turn in a few assignments (Keep in mind that I only know the grades that have been returned). I look through the list and notice they gave me a 0 for an assignment I turned in. It's a grade changer, so I check my emails and bam there it is, emailed to the correct person, turned in on time. I email them back to say I turned in this assignment on this day at this time. They say that they can't take it cause I may have turned it in late. I apologize for bringing this matter up after final grades and reply again with a screenshot and get almost the same answer. I decide to go to the chair to appeal. The chair says if I can provide proof, they can change my grade. I provide proof, they email my professor. Professor emails chair back saying they never got it- checked their spam, trash, everywhere and said some rude comment. Chair declined to change my grade. I debated on whether I should go to the dean of college. After getting some opinions, I email the dean and they decide to change the grade. So now I have an A in the class but I kinda feel like the AH because the professor was very understanding of my situation. I never missed a day in that class and only turned in one assignment late.
I've come up with many situations blaming myself for the B and have learned my lesson.
So AITA? ###### | NTA. You FIGHT for those grades! I've been a pain to a few teachers for stuff like that and yeah you feel a little guilty but your GPA definitely doesn't. ###### |
I'm a straight A student and an okay with a B if I know my work clearly reflects it. For this class, I have no grading platform (blackboard, google classroom) to tell me the grades of my assignments. I can partially rely on the professor to return my grades. Now, I've been told that I'm not good with explaining, but bear with me please.
End of semester and I get my final grades, all A's except for one B. This B is in that one class, so I email the professor to ask why I got a B and for advice on how I can do better in future classes. They gave me a break down of my grades and said I didn't turn in a few assignments (Keep in mind that I only know the grades that have been returned). I look through the list and notice they gave me a 0 for an assignment I turned in. It's a grade changer, so I check my emails and bam there it is, emailed to the correct person, turned in on time. I email them back to say I turned in this assignment on this day at this time. They say that they can't take it cause I may have turned it in late. I apologize for bringing this matter up after final grades and reply again with a screenshot and get almost the same answer. I decide to go to the chair to appeal. The chair says if I can provide proof, they can change my grade. I provide proof, they email my professor. Professor emails chair back saying they never got it- checked their spam, trash, everywhere and said some rude comment. Chair declined to change my grade. I debated on whether I should go to the dean of college. After getting some opinions, I email the dean and they decide to change the grade. So now I have an A in the class but I kinda feel like the AH because the professor was very understanding of my situation. I never missed a day in that class and only turned in one assignment late.
I've come up with many situations blaming myself for the B and have learned my lesson.
So AITA? ###### | NTA. You earned your A fair and square. Your teacher's mistake is not your fault. You have every right to get the grade you earned. ###### |
My brother has a fursuit of some blue furry character, and I'm not sure why exactly, but seeing it makes me uncomfortable. Something about the huge eyes and huge head, in real life, but which are also inanimate while the large limbs are, maybe.
I try not to be a jerk about it or anything, but he thinks I was being a huge jerk about it by looking away from his direction when he wore it during the new year's ball drop on TV with the family a couple years ago.
I think it's fine that some people are furries. Outside of a rare occasion when I'm very obviously joking with other close friends that happen to be furry and *know* I'm joking about it (poking fun at the stereotype or something like that, though I know and acknowledge that not all furries are the stereotype -- and I usually even follow up the joke with a clarification, something like "to be clear, that's a joke"), I don't belittle or dislike furries as people at all.
But for some reason, fursuits just make me uncomfortable. AITA for this? ###### | NTA. You don’t seem to be shaming him in any way. Those kind of suits unnerve me too. Idek why. Disneyland freaked me out massively. ###### |
Woke up this morning to a group text my roommates are trying to kick me out. I want to know if others would think I’m an asshole in this situation or if my roommates are butthurt about what I did.
I live in a house with three other guys (four of us in the house). Last night around 2 am this drunk girl shows up to our house, screaming, banging on windows, banging on doors and crying for one of my roommates, lets call him Aaron. Aaron just ghosted this girl recently.
He goes outside and tries to console her and calm her down, and they start screaming at each other. She’s throwing shit at the windows, and my other two roommates get up to see what is going on. I’m just laying in my bed and staying in my room. I don’t want to deal with it.
They all get the girl to calm down, then they come banging on my door. They want me to pay for a Uber to take her home so that she gets the hell out of there. It’s $25 to get her home.
I’m told them hell no?
They started arguing with me, asking me to just help out so that the situation would be over. They assured me they would pay me back. I brought up the fact that I’m still waiting on $20 back from Aaron. I’m not too sure they could pay me back if they can’t come up with $25 between the three of them them to send her home. I said no, told them to get out of my room, and locked my door.
The screaming continued, and police ended up being called by my neighbors. They were given a noise citation, and arrested the girl. Everything quieted down until this morning.
All my roommates are pissed at me for not helping him get rid of this girl. I told them that it wasn’t my responsibility. I don’t know this girl. They want me to pay part of the noise citation or they want to “vote me out” of the house.
I know I could have made my life a little easier by paying for the Uber, AITA for not doing it? ###### | NTA. You don’t owe them anything, especially if one of the roommates already owes you money. I wouldn’t pay any of the citation costs, either. ###### |
Asking for a friend who does not have Reddit.
My neighbor and I have lived in the same subdivision for over fifteen years. We used to be friendly because our kids were friends, but as they grew apart, so did we. We were never especially close, she’s one of those people who asks for advice and then does what she wants anyway, which can be frustrating and part of why I never wanted to be overly involved in her drama. This all came to a head two years ago, when she asked me to come with her to another neighbor’s kid’s graduation party and neither me nor my kid wanted to go (not only that, but we really hadn’t been invited, except as an afterthought via text the day before). For whatever reason, this really upset her, and we haven’t spoken since.
Out of the blue yesterday, I get a phone call from her husband asking if I would make them all face masks because I’m “so creative”. She then also called me and texted asking if I knew how to pay the homeowners dues (as I said, we’ve all lived here for almost 20 years - how could she not know?) I do sew and I made a few fabric face masks for relatives and a close friend. They’re probably not especially protective or official, but they’re cute and I made them for my friends/family as a gift, because I wanted to. They take a long time to put together, they’re kind of tedious, which is why I’m not going out of my way to make a bunch of them - they’re not really worth donating to hospitals or anything, as I said they’re more for a fun project than anything else.
I haven’t responded to either her or her husband yet, part of me feels guilty and that I should just do it, but another part of me feels like I don’t owe something to a woman who cut me off completely over two years ago. AITA? ###### | NTA. You don’t owe anyone anything. Especially if you two aren’t close. It’s not like you’re making special medical grade equipment, you’re simply enjoying a hobby with your close friends/family and that does not give her the right to intrude upon that. ###### |
22F and 24F
Best friend of 9+ years. I live in NYC and she lives elsewhere.
She wants to move to NYC because she hates her current city and job. She is depressed and her mental health is suffering.
She would need to sign our lease (3 bed) by June 1 to be our third roommate for a Jul 1st move in. The landlord said since she is the 3rd roommate, she doesn’t have to meet income requirements since we both do.
I told her I will not let her live with us unless she has a job. I trust her but that is simply a huge risk. We are about to go into a huge recession and moving to one of the most expensive cities in the country with a few grand in savings and no job is simply reckless.
She is upset with me. AITA for telling my depressed friend she cant be my roommate? ###### | NTA. You don’t move in somewhere you can’t afford to pay for. ###### |
My older sister and I play pranks on each other occasionally. They’re usually minor stuff, like once she gave me ‘ice cream’ but it was frozen mayonnaise and once I taped down the spray tool in the kitchen so when she turned the faucet on it got her wet. Nothing major and nothing dangerous, just normal sibling fooling around.
On Sunday I woke up and my wheelchair wasn’t by my bed. Naturally, I kind of freaked out. I woke up pretty late and I could see my parents car wasn’t in the driveway, so I ended up calling my sister and asking her to come in to my room to see if she was home. She did, and pretended to act really confused.
Apparently her idea for the ‘prank’ was to pretend I’m not disabled. So she came in, I asked where my chair was and she was like “What do you mean? You can walk.” It didn’t take very long to figure out she was joking, but I didn’t find it funny and said so. She was on the verge of laughing the whole time. After asking several times for her to drop it, she didn’t. It was clear she thought it was absolutely hilarious and I didn’t.
I ended up calling my mom, who was out grocery shopping. Now my sister is grounded and she’s mad and says it’s my fault for being a snitch and not having a sense of humor. While it technically is my fault she’s in trouble, idk if I did anything wrong and if I was too sensitive or if she’s overreacting and it was a bad prank. ###### | NTA. You don’t joke [like that] about a disability. Also, if only one person is laughing ... chances are it’s a pretty shitty ‘joke.’
I’m also struggling to see what the outcome she hoped for was in this ‘prank?’ Like, you are in disbelief and actually try to walk .. and fall? And then she’s like ‘haha, gotcha!’
...Yeah I’m really not sure where she was going with this one.
EDIT: Brackets to indicate my original intent - I meant jokes that diminish (rather than address or express) the experiences and realities of disability. Thanks to the commenters for addressing my phrasing. ###### |
I (f26) have always struggled with my identity. I live in Europe and I’m 1/4 black, 3/4 white, but my skin is darker than you would expect for being only 1/4. I found it difficult growing up because even though I am technically more white than black, my skin isn’t white, so I’ve always felt like I didn’t belong to any group and have had some very bad experiences due to my skin colour.
There is a writers workshop that is currently promoting the black community, where people can discuss their experiences. I planned to join this workshop because I have experiences I would like to share, but when I told my bf, he said it was selfish for me to join the group because I’m only 1/4 black and the group isn’t meant for me. He also said the other people in the group won’t like it.
AITA here for still wanting to join? There isn’t a limit to how many people can join this workshop, so I’m not taking anyone’s space. And this raises questions that I have had my whole life but have never been able to talk to anyone about it. What exactly am I supposed to call myself? What is it that decides whether I am one way or the other? My experiences? The literal colour of my skin? Or my genetic makeup? ###### | NTA. You don’t have to pick a race, you’re biracial. ###### |
I run a very successful online business, it started off as a simple hobby but slowly grew to the point that I quit my job to focus on this full-time. I know earn more per month than I was asking per year and I'm really enjoying working.
I've been with my GF for about 3 years now and she never showed interest in either my my job or my business. She never knew how much I earned and never asked because I didn't exactly splash the cash around. She recently lost her job because of the current problem in the world and is struggling to pay her rent so I was forced to pay it for her.
When she asked how I managed to do that I explained that my business had taken off and I was now doing it full-time. As soon as she heard this she begged me to hire her but I said no. Firstly, there's nothing for her to do not would she be able to do anything that I'd need help with.
She's not exactly good with money and has no savings as she spends it nonstop, I suspect she'd just want to get paid for doing nothing. She got angry that I said no and is now giving me the silent treatment. ###### | Nta. You don’t have to hire her just because she is your girlfriend. Sounds like she is trying to use you. ###### |
My mom died when I was 13 years old and
My dad remarried when I was 15
His new wife and stepsons. Was the boss
Anything and everything he will do it
I no longer was his son, or problems
They made fun of me , was always giving everything by my own father. He takes them out to any restaurant and buy them anything
I was the outsider this go on for 3 more years and I left for college and in college every year he will take his new family on vacation and always tell me he paying for your my college.
I'm now 28 years old and have a high paying job plus $640,000 the bank
My father call me in February telling me how he got $30,000 in hospital fee left to pay from his surgery and is having problems paying the it off and said no I don't have the money why don't you ask your stepsons. He said son
Yours stepbrother are 19 and 15 please understand that and you and your wife have jobs and plus your in laws help you a lot with your sons. Please help, I just cut the call
He call me every week and wife and in law
about me helping him
My wife think I'm unreasonable because I got all this money in my account and can't help my dad
I tell her , he made me feel like a outsider and put his new family first and never look back for me and he spends a lot of money on them and I'm not helping him
Am i the Asshole ###### | Nta. You don’t have to help him. It’s your money. ###### |
Quick overview - Been together almost 4 years, he lives in my house, didn’t bring much with him when he moved in, hasn’t contributed much to the home in all the time living here (I replace things that have broken/buy new purchases etc.), he is self employed and doesn’t earn a great deal so only contributes a nominal amount towards bills/food etc. We live in the UK.
Because of the pandemic he’s been unable to work and so he didn’t have to worry about finances, I offered to cover any financial outgoings until he can work again.
Recently he received a letter which he unknowingly dropped on the way to file them away. On finding it, I picked it up to take it to his office. I noticed that it was from our governments tax and revenue department stating they had given him a grant of a few thousand pounds owing to being self employed and unable to work. I handed it to him and didn’t mention anything about it.
Several days have passed and he has not told me about this and I continue paying for everything. Whilst I don’t expect him to tell me everything about his finances, considering the situation one would have expected him to say something, offer a gesture of paying towards the household etc. It’s concerning me as to what he is to do with the money considering he hasn’t mentioned it or spoken to me about it.
Thanks for listening and I look forward to hearing what you think of the situation. ###### | NTA. You don’t have a partner, you have a dependent. He’s lying to you and using you for his own financial gain. ###### |
(On mobile so apologies for spelling and formatting)
I (19F ) have nipple piercings. I keep a simple barbell in them, nothing overly fancy or protruding. Once online classes started I stopped wearing a bra to online lectures. I figure my boobs are stable enough (they don’t really move on their own) and they probably won’t be in frame so what’s the big deal. I don’t wear tight or revealing clothing, just baggy-full sized non-cropped tees or hoodies.
The only class that I have the camera on for regularly is my 30 person advanced math proofs class. Friday, my cat knocked over my camera for less than a minute before I noticed. My piercings were outlined by the drapes (?) of my baggy shirt, but only if you know what you are looking for. I quickly fixed my camera and thought nothing better of it.
After class, my professor emailed me and asked me to “please dress more appropriately for class in the future” and that “my very obvious nipple piercings were distracting while he was trying to teach”. I honestly think this is a.) creepy af and b.) a big ask. Like I’m 600 miles from you, it was a brief thing, and my nipples were not even out. I was fully covered in a baggy, opaque black t-shirt.
I haven’t responded because I want to know if I was being the asshole by not wearing a bra. So Reddit, AITA for not wearing a bra to online lecture?
ETA: if it matters, which I think it did to him, I am the only woman out of this class of 30 ###### | NTA. You don’t ever have to wear a bra. Period. Your teacher has their own issues if they have a problem it. ###### |
My (15M) family wants to make a "family" youtube channel. My 5-year-old sister is a huge fan of these Disney parody channels. I think its called like TotalistTv. Basically they do real-life parodies of disney highschool and superhero things. I at least think it is really cringe, but I get its aimed at kids so whatever. They get crazy amount of veiws and money, and my family wants to do it. They think with the being shut inside, we have the perfect chance to get a good start. The problem is they want the whole family to.
My first thought was hell no, for multiple reasons. 1, I dont want my face all over the internet. 2, I think its kinda dumb. 3, I dont want to give away my freetime for this. I explained this to my parents, they got mad. Haven't been grounded but I can tell they clearly arent happy, AITA? ###### | NTA. You don't want the social backlash that comes with it. If you bomb, you'll never live it down and the rest of HS will be a horror show for you. It's not worth it. How can your parents not have taken this into consideration? ###### |
So back story, 6 or 7 years again my mom and dad were married. Some friends came over and my mom was all over this guy, and my dad noticed and said something about it. Then she left with him, and monday served my dad with divorce papers. Reason 1 why I dont like him, he should have said no.
Fast forward some, I'm in the military and I get a few calls from my mom, and she tells me that he has laid his hands on her, but dont do anything about it or say anything, this continues until I get home. I get another call, and I'm over there in a flash. Him and I got in a fist fight. But he hasnt laid his hands on my mom again, or at least what I know of. I love my mom, but she has said she only deals with him because his money, she a gold digger.
And that's only part of the reason of why I cant stand him. But now I'm about to be getting married, I have made it very clear that I dont like d-bag and dont want him there, or if he is there, he wont be in the family section. Well for some reason this set something off with my mom, and she went from talking shit on him constantly, to flipping and saying "I HAVE to respect him because he is my stepfather." I told her "he is your husband, that is it, he is nothing to me". Now my mom is mad at me for my decision.
Reddit AMTA? ###### | NTA. You don't that man any respect because he hasn't earned it. Your wedding is about your happiness. Don't give in to the pressure.
And congratulations on your upcoming wedding. ###### |
I (21F) had a friend who constantly meets random men online, which is ok but many of the guys she's met have ended up threatening her or stealing from her. We were talking about dating apps when I said the guys she meets make me uncomfortable and I don't really want to be around them. She seemed to understand and was ok with it.
One day later, we were going to hang out and I was going to drive us to another city about an hour away. She showed up with a guy she'd just met online. I was kind of mad because we'd literally just had this conversation and she didn't even tell me she was bringing him. It was kind of a long trip and I'd never met the guy, so I said I didn't want to go with him and we should go another day. She went home and we haven't talked since. If she would have asked me, I might have gone anyway even though I was extremely uncomfortable, but I felt a little disrespected as a friend and afraid for our safety.
AITA? ###### | NTA. You don't show up with a total stranger, especially without any warning. ###### |
So around 4-5 days ago, my (16M) mum got in a nasty argument with my older brother (17M) and as a result, demanded that all of our phones (mine, my younger sister's, 17M and my other older brother's) be confiscated and have the PINs replaced.
(NOTE: She also wanted our fingerprints to be removed as well.)
Although I had nothing to do with their dispute and had no reason to be punished, I didn't say anything and just handed my phone over. My mum was THAT angry. I'd ask my mum to unlock my phone for me to use for a while and that's how things were for the past couple of days.
This morning, I remembered a trick I learnt a while ago to force-reset my phone (no PIN needed) and I decided to pull it off. I forced factory-data reset my phone using the volume up key, lock and home button and after logging back into my Google account and data, I had my phone back - without my mum's PIN on it. I put my phone back in the charger and went to make my own breakfast.
A while later, my mum realised that I had removed her PIN on my phone (I think she might have tried to access it behind my back, but I'm not sure) and she was LIVID. She berated me, saying that this phone is not my money to begin with and going as far as to resetting my phone proves her point of how much of a phone addict I am.
Again, I wanted to bring up the point that she changed our PINs only because of an argument with my brother. But I didn't say anyhing in the hopes of not getting my mum more angry and hoping that everything would blow over (which luckily for me, it did).
Now I'm typing this AITA in secret and I want to get some broad perspective on this. Did I really take things too far? ###### | NTA. You don't punish all the kids cause one pissed you off. And trust is a two way street. She's not earning much, acting like this.... unfortunately... as a kid... short of pleading you case, or paying for your own phone... you're kinda boxed in... ###### |
Mom and dad separated when I (33m) was 3. He was in my life as an occasional weekend dad until my teen years. Started drifting until there was no contact by my late teens. He skipped my high school graduation, said he was "too sleepy". Didn't even invite him to my college graduation.
During grad school he reached out and we began having weekly phone conversations. I was genuinely excited, thought we could have a beer or something as adults After a number of these he asked me for $, I was a broke ass grad student and told him that. He stopped calling.
Fast forward 10ish years to the fall of 2019 and he called me out of nowhere leaving a voicemail saying he wanted to reconnect. I ignored it, I figured that the moment had passed. I asked my 2 older sisters if they wanted to reach out, they also passed. I figured he is either dying and wants absolution or needs $. Didn't want any part of it tbh.
2 weeks ago my mom calls and tells me she heard from a mutual former coworker that my dad had passed. I felt guilty because he had reached out and I just ignored it.
Without any way of confirming, I tracked down a cousin via Facebook and asked. I have no relationship with that side of the family. They cut us out when my parents separated. So it was an awkward "hi, I think I'm your cousin", she informed me that my dad was not only alive but living with her about 4 hours north of me.
Apparently she told people and I got a bunch of messages from cousins that I don't know urging me to reach out. I ended up going camping about an hour away from where they live this past weekend and when I posted a picture the messages went from encouraging to hostile. Calling me cold for not reaching out while being so close, apparently they told him what's going on so he is sad about it.
I am not really interested in having a relationship. I just wanted to know because not knowing is harder. AITA? ###### | NTA. You don't owe someone a relationship when all they've done is hurt you. It sounds like you have healthy boundaries where your dad is concerned. You probably need the same for your cousins. ###### |
So my friend is planning her wedding, she scrapped what they already were planning because of the virus and moved the date. She already has a dress and is planning the theming again, and she asked me if she could wear my necklace because she thinks it goes well with the dress and the other stuff.
Now my necklace was a gift from my husband, he had it custom made by his uncle, and it’s one of those couples necklaces where the fit together, but it’s in a special shape from a project we were doing together while we were engaged. It’s kind of cheesy but I think it’s really sweet that he thought of that and it’s pretty personal to me. I wouldn’t lend it to my friend normally but especially at her wedding, I don’t know it would feel wrong having her wear something my husband had made personally for me.
I told my friend no, and she got annoyed and said what are friends for. I explained my reasoning and she called me silly and that it’s just a necklace and I should just lend it to her for one day, and that it’s not going to kill me. She brought up that I’ve borrowed clothes and jewelry from her in the past, and she’s used mine in the past, but I feel that this specific necklace would be a bit like her wearing my engagement ring during her wedding.
She’s mad at me now, AITA? ###### | NTA. You don't owe it to her to lend something so valuable and personal. She's TA for dismissing the emotional significance it has. ###### |
I was talking to my mom when the topic of kids came up. I am 27 years old Male and she started asking me when I was going to get married. I told her I broke up with my gf and I dont want a relationship for the time being. As a matter of fact I never want kids ever. When I told her this, she accused me of being insensitive. Her argument is "because you were born you also have to bring life in the world and play a part." I told her I will not have kids ever because I love my life the way it is and kids are a big responsibility. AITA ###### | NTA. You don't owe anyone kids. It's your life and your responsibility if you do have them. They just want you to have kids so they can call themselves a grandparent ###### |
So me(13f) and my dad went to the dog park so my dogs could run. I have two 30-40 lb dogs Max and Bell. Then this lady comes in the dog park with 2 husky mixes. They are look like they are 60lbs ish. So my dogs go to smell her dogs butt and then her dog just attacks my dog. Not like a gentle bite but angry and my dog screamed and ran away. I was like woah and grabbed my dogs. She tried calling her dog over to her but it didn't listen to her. I told her she shouldn't be bringing an dog that clearly doesn't like other dogs to a dog park and she kinda got upset and left. I felt bad but at the same time her dog attacked Max just for smelling her. My dad said I shouldn't have said that because Max didn't get hurt. My reasoning was that her dog didn't like other dogs and didn't go to her when she called it, it shouldn't be in a dog park. ###### | NTA. You don't have to let your dog get mauled just to be right. ###### |
A friend(f) of my girlfriend asked if she could borrow my laptop.
I assumed she was gonna check her email or social media or something.
She installed chinese government owned software that became part of the startup process.
And she installed a (chinese government) chrome extension that gave the extension full access to my browsing history and to modify websites that I visit. She clicked 'yes' to give permission for this.
I only discovered that these 2 apps were running in the background weeks later.
I told her in a pretty condescending way that to me it's common sense that:
\- you ask permission to install software on the device of someone else
\- you wanna uninstall it afterwards
She's 27, but i'm talking to her like she's a child.. AITA for that? ###### | NTA. You don't download shit to people's computers without asking. ###### |
I was on a uni trip and spent the day talking to one to the organisers of the trip associated with the company that ran the trip (we met on the trip, I didn’t know him before). It was a bit flirty and we talked a couple times throughout the day and at the pres we talked for probably over/around half an hour. I didn’t hookup with him/kiss or have sex with him because I decided I wasn’t interested in him so just spent the rest of the time with girlfriends dancing, Talking etc. the next day, some friends of mine that I had met fairly recently so we weren’t super close but they were the only people I knew on the trip before I came on the trip, told me that I had hurt his feelings and offended him and he felt I had lead him on. They said that I should check in with him because I hurt his feeling. I thought and told them that I didn’t owe someone an apology or explanation for not being interested in them or talking to them and not following through with something sexual. AITA for not apologising or checking in with him? ###### | Nta. You don't actually owe him anything and I don't see why you should have to apologize for like a day's worth of socialisation followed by nothing. His feelings are valid but like you still don't owe him shit. ###### |
So we’re both vegan and have been for years.
Last year we got a beautiful cat who is the grand baby neither of our parents will ever have.
She’s obviously an obligate carnivore and we’ve been feeding her kibble and wet food.
Unfortunately, where she came from wasn’t a very good situation and she had horrible teeth when we rescued her. It’s not come to a point where if she’s painful she doesn’t want to eat kibble and wet food will just make it worse.
We went on a website for rawfeeding animals and bought her some chicken necks and chicken hearts. According to the vet, this should encourage her to use her teeth as it smell “more appetising” than space nuggets.
We’ve obviously been quite uncomfortable with this as it’s raw meat in our otherwise vegan home but we’d do anything for our little gremlin so it’s worth it.
We’ve since had some friends over who were horrified when we got raw meat out and asked us if we weren’t vegan and we said that we were and still are, but that kitty is not.
They’re now saying we’re fake vegans and that we don’t care about animal welfare if we’re feeding her raw meat.
We don’t see the issue, as these are part of a chicken that humans wouldn’t eat and we are following what our vet told us to keep our baby at optimal health. In our minds, these parts of already slaughtered animals would otherwise just be thrown away.
This has created quite a bit of drama in our friend group as some people are now accusing us of being hypocrites while the other half say that we’re just caring for our cat.
Are we the assholes here?
[cat tax](https://i.imgur.com/QFng2By.jpg) ###### | NTA. You do care about animal welfare. That's why you're taking care of your animal with food that she will actually eat that otherwise would've just been thrown away. ###### |
My roommate and his girlfriend have been on and off for quite some time. When they fight and break up, she gets drunk and messages me about how much she hates him, and he tells me how much he hates her. When I dont respond to her, she gets upset and starts disrespecting me with insults. He has told me that she is very vindictive and has stolen jewelry amongst other things from him, and has even made false reports to the police about him abusing her. I've over heard them arguing before and heard her say things like, "I will ruin your fucking life".
After learning what kind of person she is, I don't feel comfortable being around her. I cannot tell him who he can and cant have over, but if he is not in the apartment, I do not want to be alone with her.
Now that they're back together again, she only comes over on weekends. He sometimes leaves around 330am and she will stay until about 7-8am instead of leaving when he leaves. I have talked to him about this, and he has continued to ignore me and shrug it off. I find it disrespectful.
Recently, he got a second job delivering pizza. He left for his shift about a half an hour ago, leaving his girlfriend here. I told him I do not want her here, but he ignore me again.
Fed up, I told him I was going to have the police remove her, or I would stop paying my part of the rent.
She is gone now.
My friends agree with me, but sometimes I feel like they just agree because we are friends. I need some non bias opinions.
Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. You discussed it with him and you made a smart decision not being around a girl willing to make false reports to ruin people's lives. Dodged a bullet there. ###### |
My older brother volunteered to babysit my 2 nephews while my other brother (his dad) and his wife work. I told them from the beginning I didn’t want to help watch them cause I work 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and the days i have off i wanna rest. Lately the brother who volunteered has been complaining that hes tired and needs help. I told him already I didnt want to cause i need to rest for work. He got mad and said i should help and said i was being lazy. I reminded him he volunteered himself to watch the kids not me so it sounds like a personal problem more or less. Starting tomorrow i work 12 hour shifts until friday covering for someone, my mom called me and asked me to help but i said no. Now my phone is blowing up with texts saying im being an asshole. Am i though? ###### | NTA. You didn’t volunteer for a reason ###### |
So for context, I (20M) came out as gay to my parents in February last year. My mum was very accepting and kind but my stepdad was very much not so. He hates everyone that isn't straight and white, so me coming out as gay made me a disappointment in his eyes.
Fast forward a couple of months and my mum wanted to meet my boyfriend (now ex) so I did the ~300 mile round trip to drive me and my bf to meet my parents. My stepdad decided to send me a list of instructions on how to behave, which in short was basically "no PDA and no signs at all you're dating", which really hurt but we went along with it.
My mental health declined sharply over the next 7-8 months as everything for me went wrong. I broke up with my bf, got hit in a car crash and couldn't take the stress from work anymore. To say the least, my stepdad was not happy about me moving back in after losing my job and being unable to live in another town.
My mental health is improving now, but my relationship with my stepdad is heavily stained. We barely talk and I avoid him as much as I can.
Anyway, on topic - since I'm now living with my parents again I've been forced to spend time with my stepdad, much to both of our annoyance. Since I know he's a massive homophobe and hates me for it I decided to add some colour to my room. I have pinned up a 4×2 ft pride flag on my wall and replaced the strings on my guitar with multi-coloured ones. To say the least, he hates it. He has gotten worse with not just me but my mum and brother. Him and my mum have gotten into arguments over his disapproval of my sexuality and I hate that they are getting into arguments over me.
My mum has said that it was bad of me to put this stuff up as I knew it would annoy him, especially as he has gotten worse for everyone and I am refusing to remove the pride stuff from my room.
Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. You didn’t paint the house or do anything to it which would be unreasonable - it’s their house after all, so if you’d painted it or something, that would cross a line probably. You changed the strings on your guitar and put up a reasonably small flag, the only problem with which is that it’s pride colours.
Your stepdad *sucks*.
I’m sorry they’re arguing but why is she even still with him? He’s openly homophobic and is aiming this at her son. Wtf? ###### |
I was driving down Colfax which is a main Street in Denver the other day and I saw a lady taking pictures of a homeless person that was wearing a winter coat in 75° weather and passed out on their stomach like a starfish at bus stop in front of Sprouts which is a more annoying version of trader joes. It could have been for any number of reasons from alcohol drugs or heat exhaustion. But there was some typical Denver white girl in yoga pants who had an old film camera taking photos of this possibly dying person as some sort of artistic endeavor. I saw this for my car window, rolled the window down and started calling this lady a cunt and telling her what a piece of shit human being she was. I pulled over around to the other side of the street called the police and waited for them to arrive. Am I the asshole for calling somebody out using a clearly in need human being for some sort of black and white artistic experiment? Also, she had no intention of helping, told me to fuck myself and went back to taking pictures of graffiti and other bullshit. The police told me she was crap but didn't do anything illegal. ###### | NTA. You didn’t have to call her a cunt, but she shouldn’t have been doing what she was doing either ###### |
Sorry guys about the poor grammar and format. I'm just shaken up and I really need to vent.
(I am Asian and my bf's family is black)
I have been living at my boyfriends house since quarantine and instead of cleaning or watching TV together we decided to play UNO. I placed a +4 card and he had to add four additional cards to his 20-something deck. I called him "loser-kun" (I don't watch a lot of anime but he is a big weeb. He calls me "apollo-chan" or "something-chan" and says things like "baka" or "nani." He did this since we have been dating in high school.) His dad looked surprised and his mom looked extremely angry. They thought I called him a "loser coon" (I didn't know what that word meant until I looked it up, but it is racist.) She got extremely angry at me and started screaming at me. I told her I didn't understand what I did wrong. She called me a "Ching Chong Yellow Bitch" (lol) and then told me to "Get the f*ck out!" I tried to tell her I don't understand what I did wrong but I'm sorry, but she said "Ching Ching Chong, do you f*cking understand now? Get the f*ck out!" I just left my clothes there and went to my mothers house. My bf called me about a few hours later saying that his mother will let me go back home once """""I"""" apologize. I just hung up. What do I need to apologize for? I tried to explain myself but she just wouldn't listen and started saying racist stuff about me. She said we wouldn't be in this lockdown if it wasn't for "retards like you eating f*cking bats" She was honestly so mean to me. Anytime someone slightly raises there voice at me I wanna cry. I know I should apologize for my boyfriend. But he didn't even stick up for me. Should I call him back and just apologize? I love him but I'm starting to think it isn't worth it. I did say something she thought was racist but she called me so many racist things back. I just don't know what to do. ###### | NTA. You didn’t even say anything racist; they heard it wrong.
They didn’t give you time to explain to it, and they didn’t apologize for the insanely racist things they said to you. If that’s your foreseeable MIL, it’s not worth it at all. ###### |
Just happend a couple of hours ago so I'm still trying to process what just happend. For context, my mother has a history of emotional outbursts. Its even worse when she is drinking. Everytime my parents get into an argument we always suggest getting a divorce because how ugly it gets. Now on to the main issue. I came home from work yesterday with my younger brother telling me that mom hid the car keys(again) and that she was drunk. I walk inside to see my parents arguing. Things were getting pretty heated. A lot of yelling, hitting and throwing things. My dad tried to end the argument by walking away but she just kept following him around the house. The next thing I know is my sister was trying to hide any knives in the house telling me that she was worried that she might hurt herself or others. My dad then tells me to call the police because she was jumping infront of the car parked in our driveway. I rush upstairs to my room to call the police and I stayed there until I knew it was safe. Once I came downstairs I heard screaming and I rushed to see my mom in handcuffs. There was a lot of crying when she was taken away. I felt really gulty feeling like I tore this family apart. My dad bailed her out of jail and is staying at a hotel. She told me that she now has a record for assult and that she hopes I'm happy now. I just feel like I destroyed this family.
AITA? ###### | NTA. You didn’t do anything to destroy the family she did. If you didn’t call the cops, it could have been a lot worse especially if your sister was already hiding objects in the fear she would hurt herself or others. Don’t think it’s your fault OP. ###### |
22F and 24F
Best friend of 9+ years. I live in NYC and she lives elsewhere.
She wants to move to NYC because she hates her current city and job. She is depressed and her mental health is suffering.
She would need to sign our lease (3 bed) by June 1 to be our third roommate for a Jul 1st move in. The landlord said since she is the 3rd roommate, she doesn’t have to meet income requirements since we both do.
I told her I will not let her live with us unless she has a job. I trust her but that is simply a huge risk. We are about to go into a huge recession and moving to one of the most expensive cities in the country with a few grand in savings and no job is simply reckless.
She is upset with me. AITA for telling my depressed friend she cant be my roommate? ###### | NTA. you didn't tell her she can't be your roommate- you just said she needs a job. she can't just expect to live off of you because you CAN afford it- she's 24, ffs. you gave her an adequate timeline and an achievable requirement. i wouldn't accept an unemploymed roommate either.
edit: aww my first award and i didn't even say anything funny. thanks! ###### |
I'm a student who was looking to move to a different room/studio. I found a great place and texted back and forth with the girl who needed to find a new tenant. She told me the room was mine and to send over my info sheet and that the agency would then send me a contract. I sent in my info and qaited for over a week with no response, I kinda concluded that they might have given the contract to someone else.
I look for a new place, found one and signed the contract this Friday. Now the other girl texts me saying it's weird that the agency haven't responded and that she'll swing by their building today. I inform her that I have signed another room since I didn't hear back from the agency. Now her and her sister are acting like I'm the biggest asshole in the world cause they now don't have a tenant for next month. I was always taught that before a contract is signed there is no deal but they seem to think I've broken a promise or something. ###### | NTA. You didn't sign a lease, no contract is no roof over your head. You have every right to shop elsewhere. I understand that she is mad, but she should be mad at the agency, not at you. ###### |
I (18F) and my half-brother (42M) have only really had a relationship for the past 5-6 years. He got married to my SIL (39F) who I'm going to call "Dinah". They recently had a baby and while the relationship was never the best with Dinah (pretty much a narcissist) but my family and myself tried to keep strings attached for the kiddo's sake.
About a few weeks ago, I got some really inappropriate texts from my brother directed at me in a non-brotherly way. I went to my parents immediately when he sent them. They were both shocked and called him up to confront him about it. He tried to dismiss it as a joke or whatever (though it definitely wasn't) and said that I and my parents were being overly dramatic about it.
Then cuts in Dinah raging in over the phone (I guess my brother had us on speaker). She accuses us of reading things into the texts he sent to try and ruin the relationship and that this will "never be fixed because you jumped to conclusions about what he was saying". And that we're missing out on a relationship with their baby.
I've tried to re-read the texts over and over again, and honestly? They were so creepy and not joking at all. I tried every way I could find to not believe he'd send me those things, but he did, and we even sent Dinah screencaps of what he said (and her response was "I can't believe you'd throw away a relationship of 5-6 years because of this"). I feel like absolute garbage sometimes and that maybe I shouldn't have said anything to keep the peace, but I felt that he crossed a line. He was always inappropriate before, but never with me. AITA for breaking up this relationship over a text? ###### | NTA. You didn't break up the family relationship, your brother did by sending creepy, incestuous texts, and Dinah for defending that kind of unacceptable nonsense. ###### |
I'm a white person (20F), although some people have called my country equivalent of the n-word before because i look somewhat racially ambiguous.
Now i was playing games with my friend (22M) when he casually called me the n-word, not in the use of friend, but "you fucking n-word". I asked him to please not call ME that and he went quiet for a bit before he left the call. Then i found out he had wrote to a friend of ours, that was in the call, saying i was policing his speech. Some friends said i'm right and it was a small request to not be called something, and it shouldn't have mattered.
Some friends said that I'm white and therefore shouldn't be uncomfortable with being called it.
Btw for the record, i wasnt a dick about it or got angry the first time he said it, i calmy said "please would you mind not calling me that". ###### | NTA. You didn't ask him not to use the word, you asked him to not direct it at you. ###### |
I’m a 26F, and I’ve recently joined reddit to help me gain insight on some of my current life problems. I will try and keep this short.
I befriended a 32M at work, and we were friends for 3 years. I was transparent with my current boyfriend about our friendship. We never hung out outside of work, but we did play some video games together occasionally.
I sat next to 32M for a long time at our office job, and we became friends due to mere exposure. Everything was fine until the following events happened:
1. Started telling me I was thick, cute, and bad.
2. Started staying late to chat me up, and wouldn’t leave until I did, often following me out to my car.
3. Openly admitted he had an erection one day, making me physically sick.
4. Started talking bad about my relationship
5. Confronted me with his feelings, to which I replied “This makes me very uncomfortable!” After i said that, the next day he put his hand in my face and clenched his fist until it shook....yeah.
I stood up, went to HR and filed a report. They informed me that they wanted to fire him anyways, as he was performing terribly at work,had bad hygiene and insubordination on a regular basis.
I felt relief from hearing that. I didn’t hate him or wish him ill, I just wanted to be safe at work.
The next few weeks they took no action except to disclose my report to him. They started communicating to me through a lawyer. He started behaving erratically and pacing behind my chair constantly.
I told my job I needed to leave, took a weekend to think, and resigned through email.
I felt extreme anxiety and uncomfortability in that environment. But, AITA for leaving without a two week notice? ###### | NTA. You did what you needed to do to feel safe. You should still pursue the case through HR or if you're in the US report to the EEOC or your state's anti discrimination office. HR should have protected you and didn't. That's the definition of a hostile work environment ###### |
So, for backstory, basically my cousin and aunt have come to my house because we'll be going to Florida in a few days. he's sixteen and I'm thirteen. The last time I saw him was three years ago, and we were pretty close.
So, my cousin, who was originally female, came out to me about an hour before he made it to my house, on the phone. I completely support him and his decision, and he's still my cousin no matter what.
So here's what happened. I made macaroni for my family since I love cooking, and we were all just catching up on stuff that happened in the three years. This is how it played out.
Aunt: Cute-Comb this macaroni is delicious! I didn't know you knew how to cook!
Me: thanks! I've gotten really into cooking. I remember when we were little, -cousin- would scarf down any kind of pasta haha. It was crazy how she- I'm sorry he would eat anything, as long as it was pasta.
After this, my cousin started crying at the table about how I didn't accept him as a male, which I totally do, and I apologized again for the mistake.
Now though, my family is mad at me and my cousin isn't talking to me anymore. I even apologized again, but he just ignored me. I only made this mistake once, and I've called him he and him no matter what. AITA? I don't know what to do ###### | NTA. You did the right thing by immediately correcting yourself and just moving on. His reaction could have much more to do with being a teenager than you. ###### |
I have a good friend from high school that I still hang out with (we are 5 years out from high school). We hang out a decent amount but mainly just to drink and smoke and go to raves together. He’s a really nice guy and a lot of time will smoke me out or gives me rides places without me asking. I’d say we hang out at least a few times a week to smoke some weed or whatever. He had been telling me for a while that since high school I had gotten much better looking especially since I have been working out for a few years and started going to expensive barbers to get better hairstyles. I didn’t think much of it because I was aware that he had a girlfriend. The other day he suggested that I sleep over because we had been drinking quite a bit and it would be unsafe for me to drive back to my parents house( which was a very good suggestion on his part). I said ok I’ll grab the couch in the living room and you go sleep in your room. Fast forward to later that night I wake up and this man is grabbing my shoulders completely naked and I freak out saying don’t effin touch me or else I’ll beat you up/call the police. I had told him multiple before when the topic came up that I was not gay at all so I’m unsure why he tried this. He goes back to his room and goes to sleep and ignores me questioning him about what the fuck just happened. I grab my things and drive back to my house and he texts me the next day saying he was blacked out and doesn’t even remember doing anything. I tell him that I don’t think we should hang out anymore because I felt completely repulsed at what had transpired. He tells me that I am being unfair because he had no control over his actions because he was so drunk. Thoughts?
Edit: wanted to clarify I’m a dude not a girl since some of these responses are assuming I’m female sorry didn’t clarify in the post ###### | NTA. you did nothing to warrant him trying to wake you up while he’s naked. that’s not ok on his part. i wouldn’t want to be his friend anymore either. ###### |
It takes 2 people 2 hours to open the store properly. My teammate wasn’t there at 9. I texted him at 9:15 asking if he was on his way. No answer. I went into solo mode in case he didn’t show up. He finally responds almost 2 hours later saying he was distraught over his childhood friend getting killed in a car crash. I told him to take care of himself & I’d see him next week. I’ve dealt with death of a loved one enough to have sympathy, which is why I didn’t fire him on the spot. He’s good at the job & easy to work with. On his next shift I had him sign a write up. He got upset, he shuts down when he’s mad & becomes passive aggressive. I wrote on the sheet that because of his track record I wouldn’t suggest dismissal. I told him it was policy to be fired but since I had authority to waive that, it was just a formality. I just had another employee do a no call/no show because she read the schedule wrong. I also gave her a second chance with just a write up because it inconvenienced no one but me. Different circumstances but I can’t write one up & not the other.
So, Am I the Asshole? He’s been sulky & talking shit about me. In my professional mind I know I had no choice but my heart hurts because of it. ###### | NTA. You did him a favor by not firing and were nice to him when he called. I’m sorry but when my DAD died the first thing I did was call my manager (who was super kind and took care of letting others at work know so they could take care of my responsibilities). We all go through bad stuff, doesn’t mean you get to just blow off work. ###### |
So I bought a pair of shoes that cost £120, when they arrived they had black marks on them (they're red shoes). The shoes normally come with a card that has the shoemaker sign them as a quality control measure. This pair did not come with that so I imagine this process was skipped, or they were shipped hoping no-one would notice.
I emailed the company straight away no response. I emailed them again a few days later. No response. I emailed them the week later again no response. I finally opened a PayPal case. I suggested a further discount to account for the defect. Now they finally replied to my email roughly 3 weeks later and stated that their email system was done. They suggested that they could collect the shoes and offer me a replacement. However this was only if the shoes were still in a salable condition, however I had tried the shoes on a few times in the house and the bottom of the shoes weren't in a salable condition (I've not worn these outside but there were still marks on the sole). Again they stopped replying when I showed them a picture of the sole.
Now fast forward to today, turns out they didn't respond to PayPal either. The case closed in my favour and I got a full refund. No instructions to return the shoes either. Just a full refund. Something I didn't ask for, I only suggested to PayPal that they give a partial refund.
My brother and gf are telling me to keep the shoes and the refund, and say that I shouldnt waste more time in emails etc. I was thinking of emailing the business and returning part of the refund.
WIBTA if I keep the shoes and the refund without trying to give some payment back? ###### | NTA. You did everything right. Both the money and the shoes are now yours. They can't resell the shoes anyway. ###### |
Last year I saved up a ton of money and I decided to buy a tv for my room, snacks, and my sister’s mini fridge (she gave it to me for 50). I redecorated my room and I really love it.
My sisters hadn’t seen my room until earlier this year. They all love it. It was fine in the beginning. I let them come in with my permission, watch tv, and eat the snacks I bought (the ones I’m not the biggest fan of). The two other TV rooms were occupied by our parents so I understood.
But, after about two months, things started to go downhill. I’d wake up to them barging into my room to watch tv, I’d come home from runs and they’d be in there, I’d go to sleep with them still watching tv because they’d refuse to leave at night. They also always leave wrappers, mess up my bed sheets, and move around my bean bag chair.
I asked them to stop doing this multiple times, but they’re all acting like entitled, spoiled brats. Whenever I ask them to leave, they all give excuses like “I used to live here” or “I gave you the fridge” or “You never use it.” I reminded them that they all have iPhone, iPads, and Mac Books, but they say that my room is better. The final straw, however, was two weeks ago. I went for a run, and my sister asked if she could use my tv. I said no because they’d come in unannounced again the day before. I left and when I came back, they were all in there watching tv. I completely flipped out and yelled at them to leave. I asked my dad to fix the lock on my door and he did. But, when they discovered it, they all freaked out. They’re all calling me spoiled, entitled, and an AH (among other things).
AITA for putting the lock on to keep them out? ###### | NTA. You deserve your own privacy. I have two locks on my door because my family will come in uninvited. Boundaries need to be set ###### |
First time poster, standard on mobile disclaimer.
I am not close to my mom. I am the scapegoat child and she dismisses my thoughts as if they don't matter. She is also a fundamentalist Christian, doesn't believe in COVID and thinks the government lies to her all the time.
She told me yesterday she had close contact to a person who got COVID positive results back. We have universal healthcare in my country, but we are having a spike on cases, so lines are to be expected.
She whined and said she left the line and will try to get tested tomorrow, but she has no symptoms... Except for a couch from "eating dry toast this morning" and a headache "for eating chocolate"..., but a friend who lives next door said that she has been coughing since yesterday and went on a drive yesterday to visit friends.
I know my mother. She is incredibly immature and won't stop going out and probably avoid getting tested unless she gets really sick and doesn't care about possibly being asymptomatic and potentially infecting others. I was planning on holding her out to her plan of getting tested and my friend will keep an eye out for her to make sure she does. If she doesn't, I would call the Health Department hotline and put an anonymous tip.
Reddit, WIBTA if I did this? ###### | NTA. You could literally be saving lives by calling and forcing her hand. ###### |
Apologies for my shit English.
My dad is Mongolian, my mom is Polish. I never met my father as he died before I was born. I look entirely Mongolian though I'm basically Polish as I grew up in Poland my entire life and know nothing about Mongolia. My whole life people assumed I didn't know Polish and would speak to me in English and it's fucking annoying as hell. Half hte time I couldn't even understand the English.
I was at a restaurant yesterday and my waiter comes up to me and asks me in English "hello sir can I take your order" and I respond in Polish, "yes I'd like this and this and this" and he asks me in shitty English again "would you like diet or regular coke and fries or surowka" and again i said "listen dude I speak Polish" and he kept speaking English to which i said in Polish "asshole, I've lived here my whole life, I speak Polish better than I speak Polish, Polish is my native language and stop assuming otherwise and take my fucking order in Polish bcause we live in Poland."
He looked shocked, went quiet and then took my order. My girlfriend was fucking pissed and said i should've jsut done it in english but fuck this shit, i've had enough of thsi my whole life and especially since i told him to speak to me in Polish and he kept going in English ###### | NTA. You corrected him twice, started gently and ramping up. He's the one that basically ignored your corrections twice. The only way he's not TA is if he didn't speak Polish, but that doesn't seem to be the case. ###### |
I'll try to keep it short. I was using my boss's personal truck for a 4-month long work project. He's the President of the company. That project ended at the end of January. I got quotes before the end of the project on getting it shipped back to him because I knew he'd put it off and I'd get stuck with his truck and a bunch of work equipment, and I wanted to avoid that.
But he just brushed the quotes off and I got stuck with it anyway. He lives 13 hours away from me btw. 8 weeks go by and due to world events, we can't get any work. I get laid off. During that call when he's laying me off I tell him he needs to make arrangements to get his truck and the equipment back. He says he'll work on it. After another lie about when I'll be receiving my last check (no severance), I had to wait 6 days from being laid off to get the last of my pay and expenses reimbursed. At this point, I've had his truck for 9 weeks, and he's made no attempt to come to get it.
I don't want his truck parked in front of my house anymore. I email him and tell him he has 14 days to get his truck, or arrange for it to be shipped, or I'm going to take it up to the airport, and valet park it so it can be locked and the equipment kept safe, and he can retrieve it when he's ready.
He never emailed me back, but I did see an email he sent another coworker about it, and apparently he doesn't understand why I just won't hold onto his truck and the equipment for a few more months and I've got a bad attitude. and if they got work again he couldn't see bringing me back because he couldn't work with someone in the future who had this kind of attitude.
he's got two days left. but I've not been contacted by him.
so, am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. You communicated the need for him to get his truck back multiple times. Including prior to being laid off. You’ve offered a secure parking option and you’re wise to get his property out of your personal possession since you’re no longer his employee. The fallout of anything were stolen while at your house could be problematic ###### |
Before everyone judges me as an asshole, let me give a little backstory.
My brother in law got me a pair of really awesome boots 3 Christmases ago. I loved them. However, he got me the wrong size. I literally could not fit my foot into them. I asked my husband to ask my brother in law if he could exchange the shoes for the right size...and it just never happened. This pair of shoes has been sitting in my garage for over 3 years now because my brother in law has said he just doesn't have the time or the receipt anymore to get the right size.
So, today, I sold them. Money has been really tight with both my husband and I laid off and not receiving unemployment/stimulus yet. I made a pretty profit too because they are high end shoes that have literally never been worn.
My husband is really angry at me for. Called me ungrateful and that I should be "ashamed of myself" for selling them. Even though now we will be able to pay the light bill and get a few groceries after selling these shoes.
So AITA? I do understand where my husband is coming from - they were a gift, even though I've never been able to wear the shoes. My own BIL told him to chill out when he called BIL up to tell him how "ungrateful" I am. I just didn't see a reason to keep a pair of shoes around that I am never going to wear. :/ ###### | NTA. You can’t wear them, the BIL didn’t get you the right size when you asked, and most importantly they’re yours to do what you wish. ###### |
So for contexts I(26f) watch this elder lady(81f) while her son and daughter in law are at work
So they have a pool that is fenced off so unless you go threw the house or the back gate you can’t get it it. Well while I was watching her these kids came up and asked to go swim and I told them no as I didn’t want to watch them swim and try to keep an eye on the person I’m being paid to watch. Well the mom came over and told me that they had permission to swim whenever they wanted as long as someone was home( the kids were maybe 10 and 14) but the home owners never told me of this so I told the mother that I couldn’t watch the kids.
Well the next day as I was telling the homeowners what happened the day before she told me I was ruining her relationship with her neighbors and I should of just let the kids going swimming.
I’m paid to watch the older lady not the kids and if anything were to happen I know I would be held responsible. ###### | NTA. You can’t take responsibility for random children at a home you don’t own. Drowning is one of the main causes of death for children under 14. You don’t know how well they can swim and I’m guessing you’re not a trained lifeguard/certified in CPR? ###### |
Me and my now ex fiance moved out of our apartment. I took out all of my things, amd she had to rent a uhaul truck for all of her belongings because she owned 95 percent of the things in the apartment. I was not there to help her move because i had to work, and she did not want me up at the apartment while she was there.
So as of now, we are both moved out of the apartment. Today, i received a phone call from my ex asking me for nearly 200 dollars to pay her back for the uhaul. She claimed that i lived in the apartment, so i should help her pay for it, and i should have gone and have helped her move stuff out. I refused by stating that 1, i was not there to help her move because she did not want me at the apartment, and 2, it was her belongings in that apartment, therefore it was her responsibility and not mine.
She is now threatening to take legal action against me for the payments and to take me to court. I feel as though i owe her nothing, but maybe i was being an inconsiderate A-Hole. What do you guys make of this? Thanks. ###### | NTA. You can’t make a contract without all parties agreeing to the terms from the very beginning. If she never talked to you about it beforehand, she can’t make a contract after. ###### |
This happened a while ago, I work at a local pizza place, and it was dinner rush. I manage the phone, counter, and oven because we were understaffed
During rush a lady comes in and orders food, I get everything ready and ask if she wants a bag, she says no. I tell her the usual thank you for coming have a nice night.
I then go to answer the ringing phone to place them on hold so I can service the next person at the counter when she yells out ‘actually can I have a bag?’ Because everyone else is busy getting deliveries or making pizza I grab a bag, open it, and hand it to her over the counter where she’s standing. The store has one of those high glass protection counters, like subway, and she was at the end of it so I just jumped to give it to her when she didn’t move down towards the register.
I again tell her to have a nice night and enjoy her food, when she just stops, stares at me and beings yelling at me telling me I could of come around and placed the food she was holding into the bag, she immediately walked out cursing under her breath, all my coworkers and customers in the store just kind of stopped and looked at her because we were all in shock.
I then go and take the order of the people on hold and the counter when another call comes in, it’s someone requesting to talk to the manager because ‘she received the worse customer service she’s ever had and she will never come back, and she’s been coming here for years and has never come across someone like me with such an attitude, and that I need to be reprimanded by someone’ my manager just gave her a ‘yes, I am sorry and will talk talk to her about it’ I didn’t get reprimanded, everyone just kind of laughed it off, I’m only asking because when I told my mom she said it was rude of me to not walk around and put the ladies food into the bag. ###### | NTA. You can’t expect someone to do so many things at once. It’s not her fault for wanting the bag but it’s her job to put the stuff in the bag after you gave her your full attention. ###### |
My husband and I ended up freezing some embryos years ago due to medical issues. We used them to have our now 4 children, and we now feel that we have enough. At the time of this conversation, we still had three left over, and we had been debating what to do with them.
Her husband is horrible. They got married before my husband and I met. He's done so many horrible things both in general and to her. I've had so many talks with her about how she deserves better and how unacceptable his actions are.
We're all now in our late 30s, and they are now trying to have kids and can't (because they waited too long at HIS insistence). They're now looking at donor material, and she came to me. Absolutely not. This man shouldn't be a father and definitely not to my at least biological children. I was vague and tried to avoid a real answer. But they pushed too hard on why "we deserve to have all those extra embryos" and I lost my temper a little.
I ended up telling him that I/we think he's a terrible person, in no way should he have children, and she would only get my biological help if she "dropped him" like a diseased fish. Honestly, I hate him so much. This whole thing and the knowledge that we would only get more and more requests for them led us to the decision that we needed to use them ourselves. It worked and we had a single pregnancy.
We've been getting some comments from friends and family that we had a child out of spite and we're not better than anyone we have problems with. I don't know that that's true. We just couldn't destroy them and also couldn't trust anyone else. ###### | NTA. You can refuse to give your embryos to anyone regardless of what kind of person they are. It's your embryos. It's nobody but you and your husband's choice alone. Just hope they don't hate that child and treat them badly. ###### |
You've probably seen these books. But it's what it says: a book that is hollowed out to hold something, like an engagement ring, weed, money, etc.
When I was sixteen (I'm twenty-five now), my mom gave me this book called 'The Care and Keeping of Husbands', a self-help book. Yes, my mom is super conservative and into family values and thinks that a woman's place is in the kitchen, etc. And yes she thought this was a good idea for a sixteenth birthday present when my friends were getting cars or nice jewelry or designer bags.
Sometime later, I found tutorial on how to make a "secret compartment book" and decided to use that "Care and Keeping of Husbands" book as a guinea pig. It didn't work, so I hid the mangled book in my backpack so I could dispose it at school. Well, my mom found it while snooping through my backpack, freaked out, and proceeded to ground me for the next month.
We don't talk to each other anymore, but when we did she always brought up how I am an asshole for ruining her birthday present to me and how that book will help me make my future husband happy.
Which would be fine and dandy, but I literally had no other use for that book: I'm asexual and I have no interest getting a husband ever.
But it does boil down to this: AITA for "ruining" my mom's birthday present to me? ###### | NTA. You can do with your possessions as you please. It was a gift, so it was yours.
Sounds like you tried to give it a value, since it's words didn't hold any. ###### |
Basically me and my 4 year gf broke up 3 months ago, I had to keep her at my house because she and her daughter (13) didn’t have a place to go.
Thing is, they didn’t appreciate that, she kept initiating fights and stirring sh*t up and her shitty daughter started cussing at me and screaming every time I saw her because apparently I was piece of shit to her mother or some bs.
I have had enough and gave them a room and told them to keep there and not roam around the house until she gets a job, they weren’t happy and started verbally abusing me and then they broke my tv and ps4. This was the hair that broke the camel’s back.
I kicked them out immediately a week ago , few mutual friends called me and said they are sleeping in parks and are barley surviving. because they don’t have anywhere to go to (she has no family and few friends who won’t take her).
As for the legal part it doesn’t concern me much, because I’m moving out of the US soon to a country where US laws mean nothing
Am I the asshole for not being able to keep up with them? ###### | NTA. You broke up. You still offered them a place to stay and it sounds like they did everything possible to disrespect you and act ungrateful and entitled. It sucks they have to struggle now, but you are absolutely within your rights to have kicked them out. I would have probably had called the cops on them for breaking anything in my home. ###### |
So last year I moved in to a new apartment with two friends. I was the one who provided most of the essentials such a washing machine, tv and (most importantly to the story) a small fridge that wasn't made for 3 person but that we managed to get by with. Shortly after I realized that I had a different lifestyle than one of my friend and so she decided to move out (I however have 0 problem with my other friend). When she left, she found a guy on a facebook page that was looking for a place to stay and since things were going really fast and I was caught up with school I accepted to let him. So things go by and I don't really like the guy, but I have no specific reason to besides the fact that I'm not too comfortable with living with a complete stranger. He's always using my TV and Switch when I'm not on them and while it's not an offence or anything, it just really gets on my nerves. After a while of him living here, he found a bigger fridge from someone at his work and brought it to the apartment, at the time I thought I'd sell my fridge, but decided to keep it in case I wanna move out so I kept in an open corner of the kitchen. Flash forward to a month ago from right now, I wake up, go to the kitchen an see that my small fridge is missing, after asking around I learn that the guy sold it without even telling me! So I get really angry, confront him about it saying that he shouldn't have done it and he instead replies that I'm in the wrong and that I shouldn't accuse him (he's basically saying that since he cleans more than me and since he brought the bigger fridge he was entitled to it.) I finally got him to pay me back, but things have been really cold between us since and the mood in the apartment changed drasticly (especially with the lockdown!) Since he's not on the papers for the apartment, I decided to tell him to move out cause I don't wanna live with him anymore and I gave him a 2 months time to find a new place to move to. Am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA. You bought it, it’s your property. He shouldn’t have done anything with it. Touching people’s things without their permission is wrong. It’s also your house. You have the final say. If you say he’s gone, he’s gone ###### |
AITA for wanting/insisting the new TV (that was supposed to replace the old tv in the living room) to go into the family living room instead of my husband’s man cave? He’s very insistent that we can’t use it to it’s fullest ability and it should go in his man cave but we have a toddler and he’s in school so his free time is maybe 3 hours or less a day (he routinely stays up until 2:30 am and wakes up at 5:30 to play video games.) so it wouldn’t get much use.
However we (toddler son and I) have been using a super old tv that has had color issues (everything is green tinted) for about a year now in the main family room/living room. We spend more time upstairs using that tv during the day.
AITA? He’s acting salty about it which seems ridiculous to me. ###### | NTA. You bought it for family use. The fact that your husband has a straight-up mancave is kinda fuckin' antiquated to begin with, but him wanting to hog this item that's supposed to be for the family is just low. ###### |
Last night we decided that I am going to come to her apartment around 8. When I got up today it was raining and the bus was a bit late so I arrived to her apartment around 8:10. When I knocked on the door she told me through the door that she is just going to take a quick shower. Her showers always take an hour and this was no exception. I was waiting for an hour in the rain, because she wanted to take a shower before opening the door. After she finally opened the door I was horrible. During the day she keeps asking me why I am not joyful as usual. After telling her many times that I had to wait for an hour in the rain she said: "You that I always take a shower first thing in the morning. You should have come at 9". I was defeated and just went back to my place. AITA for acting the way I did? ###### | NTA. You both agreed on 8 for you to arrive. She then waited until you got there to take a long shower. That's extremely inconsiderate.
>she said: "You know that I always take a shower first thing in the morning. You should have come at 9
I'm pretty sure that if you *did* show up at 9 instead, she would have done the same thing.
Her saying that to you is her way of denying any fault and disregarding your feelings.
I had a friend who did this shit. We would agree on a time for me to pick her up, and she wouldn't start getting ready until I showed up. She wouldn't even be dressed! I even purposely showed up half an hour late, and she would *still* wait to get ready until I showed up. And the part that pisses me off the most was that she wouldn't even act like she was hurrying. She would just take her damn time brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, getting dressed etc. ###### |
So this kid I'll call him John called this girl I'll call her Whitney the n word. I don't think calling someone the N word is acceptable nor is it ok. He basically called her that the day before school was cancelled for the the virus during school. The school was informed and is going to punish John obviously. I understand of course if he gets in trouble. He should. But the actions are extreme they want to permanently expell him so basically trying to ruin his education because he made a mistake. If he loses a few friends went to detention and maybe even got suspended for a few days I get that. But ruining his life isn't going to solve anything. Our super intendent of our school doesn't want to expell him permanently unless people agree with it and think it's fair. Everyone is sign-in this petition. I can't even explain how many people. I refused to sign it and I'm getting tormented, shamed and called a racist. I'm not going to support ruining a kid's life because he made a simple mistake when he was in highschool. I feel like I'm being a asshole to the person who got called the n word but also don't know what to feel. AITA? ###### | NTA. You believe that expelling this kid is beyond the scope of what his punishment should be so you don't sign it.
It is so easy to get in the herd mentality and get peer pressured. I congratulate you for sticking with what you believe to be right. ###### |
Preface: I am 27 year old male and i have arthritis in my lumbar spine as well as a bulge in the same area. My only relief is laying down supine on my bed. Every other activity hurts. Walking, sitting, standing, everything. I just finished a year of unsuccessful treatment and being young my doctor said I could be placed on permanent restrictions but not permanent disability.
Main issue:
I'm coming home from picking up my dog from my girlfriends house as she was babysitting. I get home it's like 11:15 pm. There is absolutely no parking and my dad has the driveway because he pays the bills.
I ask my sister and her guests of like 8 people if anyone is parked directly in front of our house. One guy responds and I ask politely " if you don't mind parking somewhere else I really appreciate it. I have back issues and it would really help me out if I didn't have to walk far."
Then my sister chimes in " I don't give a fuck, he doesn't have to move, if you got a problem with it then take it up with dad".
I disregard her. I repeat myself to her guest a simple " I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me out " he obliged and we switched spots. ( The nearest parking spot was about a little less than quarter of a mile upward. Thanks COVID-19 now you have everyone home there's no parking) no harm no foul. Now I hear my sister berating me to her guests about " how I'm such a bitch and an asshole and how I'm faking an injury"
Now I'm not sure if this is relevant but I feel I should mention that our mother passed away unexpectedly on June 29th, 2020 and idk if I should just chalk it up to my sister still being hurt from our mom's passing.
I just believe that since I live here, and given my back problem i was okay in asking him to switch spots with me.
Was I the asshole for doing so? ###### | NTA. You asked politely, he obliged willingly, it's all good. ###### |
My husband and I have been together for more than 10 years. He is an alcoholic that has only recently admitted his problem and stopped drinking.
For years he would not acknowledge the problem. He went to rehab once, one state away. He came home early because he "didn't actually have a problem ". Years of him passing out, puking everywhere, hiding vodka around the house, lying about drinking lead to him spending the night in his car after I kicked him out.
About three months ago, he didn't come home from work. I called and texted and got no response. I grabbed the kids and drove to the store to get dinner, and happened to find him. Dear hubby was parked on the side of the road, car running, passed out in the driver's seat, with 4 bottles of open alcohol in the seat next to him. After waking him up and taking him home, I left to my parents house with the kids.
He started going to AA. He looked into getting a sponsor. He stopped drinking. He apologized. The kids and I moved back home. Coronavirus happened. AA is shut down. He came home from work today, and he smelled (slightly) of alcohol.
I told him he smelled like alcohol and asked why. He began yelling at me. He called me names, told me I was trying to control him. He called me fat, and told me he didn't live me. When I started to cry, he asked if he hurt my feelings and I said yes. He responded "Good. I want you to feel the way I do."
I don't know if ITA. On one hand he has lied to me about 10,000 about drinking, so my question may be justified. On the other hand, he has been doing great with not drinking during isolation. He made it sound like I broke his heart when I asked why he smelled like alcohol. He felt accused and distrusted . I feel terrible for causing him to feel that way, but at the same time, u feel like my question was justified given his history. AITA for not trusting him? ###### | NTA. You asked him why he smelled like alcohol and he immediately escalated the situation to name-calling and accusations, then told you that you deserved it. Just knowing that, you are not the asshole. His history does not help his side of the story either: while is is great that he was able to regain his sobriety, it is also unreasonable to never expect relapses. While he may have felt distrusted, you had solid grounds to question if he had been drinking. ###### |
Gonna keep this short.
My girlfriend called me a "tan" yesterday. She said it in a really joking way, mimicking that John Mulaney line ("that's what I thought you'd say, you fucking tan"), and it quite took me aback, because I knew her friends used words like that but she had mentioned her father found it tasteless so it surprised me that she used it.
When I pulled her up on it, saying I didn't like that word, she justified it by calling it a joke and then said it was ironic I was trying to control the words she used to describe "the oppressor" and then finally said she couldn't help it if "your tannery was so apparent" or something?
It has become something of a recurring thorn in our relationship, given she often justifies not getting along with someone or finding it difficult to talk to them by saying they are "too English" for her to relate to them or labels petty frustrations as "the Brits getting to me". I get that they're jokes, but she just seems so dismissive and irritated towards all things "tan".
I ended up asking her if she needed people to be just like her in order to get along with them, and in the course of our short discussion I ended up saying it sounded like she was a xenophobe. She's brought that up again quite a few times since and I get the impression I quite hurt her feelings, but honestly I think I was justified in what I said given the context and what she had just said. ###### | NTA. You asked her to stop mutiple times and she still continued making them. In my experience people who say rascist or xenophobic stuff "ironically" are just using humour to shield their rascism. As an irish man I find people who treat random British people like they played a part in colonising Ireland very stupid (it's a thing for some people unfortunately) and I am guessing that your girlfriend is Irish given her hate for "Tan". (For those who don't know the black and Tans were the name given to the English army by the Irish during the war of independence in the early 20s. They committed lots of attacks on innocent civilians and were extremely hated by the Irish people) ###### |
Backstory : GF and I have been together for 3 years. We have one child aged about 1 years old.
Our relationship has been rocky for the last month or so.
Anyway. About 1 month ago she started snapchating (snaping?) a guy and mutual friend of ours again, nothing strange about that, i don't mind. Then they start sending bitmojis and not long after that they are snapchating all day every day. She even told me "hey, i'm flirting with this guy, lol " and now for the last few weeks they've been Blowing kisses at eachother etc etc. Something like this : 😂😂😍😘😘 all day everyday. She even stayed awake until 3am snaping this guy when we went to bed at 11 at multiple occasions.
I asked her why she thinks that it's okay to do what she's doing , and she told me that "we're just trolling, why do you care? Don't you trust me?"
I do trust that she doesn't do anything stupid, but when i pointed out that she would hang me for doing the same thing, she just said "yeah, and?"
I find it extremely annoying that she spends so much time texting and flirting with another guy, even if it's playful and " just for fun."
She thinks i'm the asshole in this situation because she thinks i don't trust her and i'm being jealous.
Meanwhile my whole problem in this situation is the obvious double standards.
Additional info: her and the guy has sent nudes to eachother prior to me getting together with her. Don't know if this is relevant info but i feel like it is.
Also non-native english speaker. Please forgive me. ###### | Nta. You asked her to stop because you are uncomfortable with the relationship that is okay. As a female, if my bf was doing that it would be a major problem. And yes, prior sexual contact makes all the difference when speaking to someone. But that is my opinion. I just would like to say you aren't being insecure, just her behavior is making you feel that. ###### |
This happened a couple years ago, but I recently remembered that it happened and can't stop thinking about if I was in the wrong.
I (20F) had just finished work and decided to grab a drink at Starbucks before catching my train home. Two girls (I'm assuming college age) walked in right after me, and as I was waiting in line I noticed that one of the girls was looking at me.
She noticed me look back her at her and she asked "What's your name?"
I was already a little bit uncomfortable with her looking at me and my name is a bit unique - which would make me easier to find online so I instead of answering I asked "Why?"
She started telling me about how I kinda looked like someone in her class at one of the nearby colleges. I explained that I didn't attend that college so it couldn't be me and I thought that would be the end of the conversation.
Instead she started saying I was being rude by not telling her my name and that giving someone your name when they ask is common decency. I told her I was sorry, but continued to not tell her my name. At this point her friend, who had been on the phone the entire time, finished her call and this girl started telling her about how rude I was being.
Meanwhile, it was my turn to order (I ended up using a random name for my order) and I managed to escape with my drink.
So AITA? Was I being rude? ###### | NTA. You aren’t obligated to tell someone your name is you’re not comfortable doing so. This girl was rude. ###### |
I come from a large family. Everyone is going through a tough time right now. In particular my baby sister (29) who has had her hours drastically cut. She was expecting an unemployment check today but didn’t receive it and is too stressed to call to find out why. I get it, anxiety sucks. She says she’s ok for now but one of my other sisters started a group to try to raise money for her. I said I’ll give her money if she asks for it.
The shit hit the fan. How dare I force her to ask, I know how proud she is! I do know, I’ve offered her desperately needed money before and she’s refused. So have other family members, pride runs strong in the family. I don’t feel like doing it again. She (any of them) can ask me for money or just not get money from me.
My husband agrees with me. My entire family is calling me a bitch and kicked me out of the texting group.
AITA here?
ETA I think I wasn’t clear enough. The sister who is leading the charge against me offered my underemployed sister money but she said “no” she didn’t need anything right now. Which is why I’m saying “if you need something, just ask. Let me know and I’ll help.
I said “loans” but I never ask my family to pay me back and I make that clear to them. I call it a loan so they can feel better about it. That pride thing again. ###### | NTA. You aren’t a psychic bank teller. If your sister wants to borrow money, she needs to ask. ###### |
A bit of a background: we've been together for 9 years, living together for 8 years and were engaged after 7.
My SIL got engaged in October, after being in a relationship for 1 year. They are getting married this autumn. We were invited.
The problem is, when we were going to move together, she said she doesn't support our decision, and my man should "keep looking" (for another girl). I was sitting right beside them but didn't say a word, I didn't want to cause any more problems.
When we got engaged, she messaged my SO through Facebook, and said she will never be happy for us, and that he should have asked HIS parent's permission to marry me first. It was very hurtful, but I still did not say a word, I always tried to be kind to her.
We haven't met her boyfriend/fiancé until a few weeks ago she finally introduced him over Skype. My husband was a bit hurt that she never bothered to introduce them before,only months before the wedding. Anyway, after the Skype conversation, she sent another weird message to my hubb, saying that I should apologize for disagreeing with them on certain matters. My husband asked why is it only me who needs to apologise for something he agreed with and wholeheartedly supported too. My SIL said she doesn't consider me a separate person, she wouldn't address ME only the man I belong to.
I was pretty hurt after reading that (husband showed me the whole conversation), and I told him that maybe I don't want to go to his sister's wedding. She said one too many derogatory stuff to me, and I just can't continue to pretend I'm all okay with it.
He said he doesn't want to go either because he's mad at her.
However, I know he's close to his family, and I'm afraid he would regret not going to his sister's wedding. I know I should suck it up and go and take my man with me, but I feel too fed up. He's definitely NOT going without me (so he said).
So WIBTA if I didn't go to the wedding and made my husband to miss out on it too? ###### | NTA. You aren’t “making” your husband not go. He’s choosing not to go because he’s angry with her for mistreating you. Yes, he said he’d go if you do, but that may be because he doesn’t want you to be alone with SIL and not because he really wants to be there. ###### |
OK, this is a throwaway, on mobile, English isn’t my first language, etc.
So I (M20) live with another guy (M19), who I’ll refer to as Red. Red’s autistic, and he’s not a party person. I am. He also is extremely camera-shy, like he’ll go out of his way to hide if someone is taking a photo that he could appear in. That’s perfectly fine, but I still like my parties. So we came up with the Forbidden Room. The Forbidden Room is a small room we have, that we made super comfortable with a fuckton of pillows, a mattress, and noise-cancelling headphones. Whenever a party stresses him out, or people are taking a lot of photos, he locks himself in the Forbidden Room. There’s two keys, one is with me, the other is with him.
I never specified what the Forbidden Room is. I only told people it’s locked, and so they can’t access it. (Which is true — Red unlocks it to enter). The arrangement works great for Red and I. A few days ago, someone in the group WhatsApp casually mentioned Red disappears in parties, so I mentioned the Forbidden Room’s purpose. (Red knew I was telling them.)
My friends are all now mad at me, because that’s not a real reason to lock up a room, and that they like Red, and want to chill more with him, and by doing this, I’m essentially allowing him to remain socially distant from others. They’ve demanded entry next time to the Forbidden Room, and I’ve denied them; and they tried to compromise by saying anyONE can have a downtime in the room, and I’ve refused that.
Red’s argument is, he can’t tolerate being social for very long, and some of my friends have taken pictures and posted them online without his permission, and created a scene when he asked for it to be taken down; and that he doesn’t trust they’ll use the Forbidden Room responsibly, and it doesn’t solve his need to hide in a place on his own.
So, AITA for having a forbidden room that only Red is allowed in? ###### | NTA. You are your roommate have a really nice and considerate setup, and that only works so long as others also extend that consideration. They don't seem to get that wanting to hang out with Red when he intentionally detaches isn't showing that they like him, it's just going to stress him out. ###### |
I'm 17M, I am of African descent and I have thick, curly, kind of messy hair that I love very much (probably around 2.5 inches) unfortunately, my grandmother passed away on the 3rd of July, at age 91, just two weeks after her husband died at 95. On some rare occasions while she was alive, she'd tell me I need a haircut. (maybe like 1/5 of the times, I'd visit her. You'll see why this is something to consider in a bit).
Due to weird cultural tradition in this country, I am often ostracized for my thick hair (mostly only by family members above 45 who think men's hair should always be short) and last Sunday in the family meeting preparing the funeral, my grandma's daughters (my aunts) have been kind of pressuring me into cutting my hair shorter for the funeral, even going as far as insinuating that I should do it because Grandma recommended me to like 2 years ago. They already pressured my cousin (34M) into shaving his beard. They're kind of acting like one of my Grandmother's dying wishes was for me to cut my hair. I don't understand them at all. I guess nothing says respecting a fallen loved one like cutting my hair??
I am perfectly capable of making it look neater and presentable, but they won't even give me that option. I fear once they pass their concerns to my mother I'm going to lose. I also tried to respectfully and politely decline but they continued to push so I said "I'll do something about it." Without necessarily agreeing to cut my hair. On one hand, I am my own person, I am pretty much an adult and I believe I can't let them control me and my choices like this, but on the other hand, this is not something that should be giving me stress while trying to bury a recently deceased loved one.
It's even worse when you see that most men in my family go bald in their 20s, just let me enjoy my locs while I have them, damnit! ###### | NTA. You are your own person. It doesn’t matter what they consider good enough or appropriate for men in your family, or even your grandma. She had her sense of normalcy, but that has long since changed since she was 17. You keep those locks hydrated and set em free, man. ###### |
Ok so before i go into to much detail my boyfriend texted me that he’s looking for a transfer 10 hours away and wants to get an apartment. This aspired with a fight he had with his dad... my boyfriend is always trying to help and his father never appreciates what he dose it is defiantly a toxic environment he should get out of. I just didn’t think it would be 10 hours away.
So now a little background of us we are college sweethearts been together for over 5 years gone on so many adventures together. no we are not engaged lol we are both ok with that. We always talk about the future and when we have our own place what we will do with it. Currently we are both still living with our parents. I personally have a great relationship with my parents and we are very chill with each other my boyfriend can come over when ever he wants however I am not aloud to stay over at his house the parents don’t approve.
So here’s the difference, I pay rent I split the mortgage and house hold bills In half with my parents I pay for my own car and insurance. I have worked in the same field for over 6 years starting as a part-timer and have had a full time job for 2 years. I am now a manager and I feel stable in my life to start something. My boyfriend does not pay bills or rent however he helps his parents out a-lot he cares for them since they are older and more on the frail side. He has not had a full time job for more than 6 months since I’ve known him. The field he wants to work in is very hard to get a job and currently he is an on call during the slow time he works about 15 hours a week.
So here is my question am I the asshole for explaining that before we move in together I’d like him to have a full time job for at lest 6 months to a year? If we are starting our life together I want us both to be stable. And to be honest I think he needs to live on his own for a while to realize what it’s like to own his own place he can control. :/
Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. You are very wise. Uprooting yourself from a stable situation to take a leap of faith across the state by moving in with your boyfriend is ... risky risky risky. I think that your suggestion of having him live on his own is a good one. You don't need to phrase it as an ultimatum - 'Live on your own and learn to manage your own affairs for six months and I'll think about it!'. Tell him he needs to go out and test the waters, get a place, see what he thinks of this new job and this new town. There's no need for both of you to rush off to a new place without knowing what's going to happen! ###### |
This isn't dramatic, or too serious.
We're back in lockdown, and it's been raining so my kids have had no way to run off some energy, so they're extra bratty right now.
​
My son (10) was arguing with his sister (6). He wanted the TV volume at 25, she wanted it at 20. I stepped in and put it at 23. They kept arguing, and he picked up her makeup pallet (just glitter eyeshadow) and threw it across the room. It broke. I made him take $5 from his savings, and pay his sister to replace the broken makeup.
My son is grumpy because I 'stole' his money.
My husband thinks that I'm being harsh because he's been saving for weeks to buy a new game for his Switch, and he's almost saved enough. He thinks we should just replace it, and ground our son from tech for the day.
But my thoughts are, my daughter paid for the make up with her own money. She put a lot of thought into picking it, and waited 3 weeks for delivery. My son knows better than to throw things in anger, and maybe now that he's been 'fined' he'll think before he acts. I'm not making him pay the full price, just the amount that my daughter put in, I paid the rest.
​
AITA? ###### | NTA. You are teaching your son a good lesson about accountability. You didn’t steal his money he ‘stole’ it from his sister when he broke her property. ###### |
Hello!
As many probably already know, there is a strike planned tomorrow in the US for Amazon, Target, and Walmart workers, amongst a few others I'm sure I'm forgetting.
Well this past month I've been volunteering about once a week to shop for and deliver groceries to families in need, all families with children who are not in school right now and are struggling to eat. The local organization that does it takes donations and only shops at Walmart.
The group message I'm a part of sent out a message tonight asking who could volunteer to shop and deliver tomorrow. I felt very conflicted about this, and pointed out that there is a workers strike tomorrow, asking if we could possibly use a different grocery store for tomorrow only. I was met with a little defensiveness about how Walmart had done so much for our community etc. I said that that was understandable, however workers need rights and hazard pay during the pandemic as much as families need groceries.
I went on to say I would be ok with volunteering my time to deliver groceries to the families tomorrow but I just wasn't comfortable stepping foot inside a Walmart during a strike. I feel like I may have upset a few people and they likely view me as overdramatic and/or having messed up priorities. Am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA. You are still volunteering your time while respecting the rights of essential workers to protest. That is admirable especially considering a lot of other people are too busy to volunteer right now. Also, with a protest, it would be hard to deliver groceries anyway. ###### |
So my close friend (Q) & her bf (W) are getting engaged this weekend. They’ve been dating for 4 years but when they announced their intention to marry, Q’s family was completely against it & said some vile things to W, who is a lovely, wonderful guy. It hurt them both deeply, but they’ve decided to proceed anyways.
In the process of planning (& hiding) the engagement, but I’ve told off 2 people (both girls):
1. A, Q’s other friend who is working with me for deco. She said we should get guests to print their pictures with Q, write cute notes & scatter it around the tables. I thought it was a nice idea until I clarified with her if she meant the guests & THE COUPLE. She said either way was fine, but it was better if it’s just the guests & Q. I told her it wasn’t Q’s birthday, and unless Q’s marrying herself, shouldn’t we be celebrating the couple? She FINALLY got it after multiple times of me repeating it & agreed that we should plan it to surprise the couple.
2. B, another friend who blurted out the idea mentioned above in the group chat with W. When I told her it was meant to be a surprise for both Q & W, B said ‘oh it’s okay, engagements are for the girl anyway’. I was LIVID. B knew how Q’s family treated W & how W has been affected. & she’s just disregarding him? I told B the same thing I told A, & it took a while before she got it.
So yes, my bf said I was harsh but I wanted to know what you guys think. Should I have let them completely ignore W on his engagement day? ###### | NTA. You are right, weddings and engagements are for the couple ###### |
(20F) I live with 4 other girls. Due to corona virus, the 4 other girls have chosen to quarantine at either their parents house or with their significant others, which leaves me in the house by myself. We have agreed to split all the base fees for utilities 5 ways, but I am in charge of everything else on top of that. However, base fees don’t cover things like our gardeners using our hose or keeping a refrigerator plugged in at all times or the sensor lights around the front of the house, etc. normally I would pay $60 for utilities a month, but this time, they asked me to pay for $160 of the utilities bill. I understand that because I am living here alone I should be paying for most of the bill, but they haven’t taken into account that there are certain things above the base fees that we would all be paying for if nobody was here. ###### | NTA. You are reasonably willing to pay a larger share due to their lack of use of most of the utilities, but sharing only the base fees isn’t a fair assessment for you. You are not suddenly using $100 more in electricity and hot water just for yourself now that everyone is away. They made the decision to stay elsewhere during quarantine but still have a responsibility to maintain their primary residence. If $100 extra a month is a financial burden for you, decide what is reasonable “extra” for you to pitch in and ask for the difference to be split between your roommates. ###### |
I (31F) live with my husband (28M) for now. Back in December we visited his family for Christmas. Our twins were 1yo. I found them in an unsafe sleeping situation. They were in an indoor dog gate with pillows and a very fluffy blanket. I told him I didn't feel comfortable with that and he asked if I had to be such a "Fucking cunt". I told his grandmother why I was leaving and walked back to his mom's house.
We agreed on a divorce and finally I saved enough money for an apartment. His mom decided to come and visit for the holiday (she lives two states away) so I stayed in order for her to see her grandchildren. After their nap their dad wants to take them to his Aunt's/Uncle's. I just found out I'm no longer allowed in their house. They've never babysat and even got mad at me when I refused to let them in the delivery room.
I told him I'm not leaving my kids for the holiday and he accused me of being spiteful and unamerican (I'm American but grew up overseas), that I prostituted myself to him and got pregnant on purpose (I wasn't suppose to be able to get pregnant), and that I'm being selfish for not letting them go to a 4th of July party without me.
Only problem is, he rarely hangs out with the kids. He'll drink a bottle of vodka or a 12pack of beer in a day. He plays on his computer none stop. He hasn't watched the babies overnight in over a month because he screams at them and throws open doors. I've found him passed randomly on the floor. Found him looking through tinder while at a baby be well appointment. He's screamed at the babies when they were crying because "if they get to make noise I get to make noise too". They don't really like him. Essentially, my kids are always around me and I take care of them 98% of the time.
AITA for not wanting my (18mo) kids to go somewhere where I'm not welcomed? ###### | NTA. You are protecting your children. But make sure he doesn't have a legal custody case he could build over this. You don't want him to take you to court and say you're not letting him have his agreed upon custody. ###### |
Hello,
I am female and 18 years old. Currently I am working part time as a waitress while attending High School. My sister (20) has depression, epilepsy and a trauma which is causion something called dissociation. Because of this she can't go to College or work anymore. She is living with her boyfriend.
My mother and my father (they aren't together) are giving her money monthly.
My mom always tells me to give my sister money because she can't work and has no income.
Maybe I am just the A but I don't want to give her money. I am not one if her parents and not resposible for her. I work for my own money to afford my clothes, sometimes food, going out with friends and stuff I'd like to buy.
My mom is often mad because of this. Her reason is: "You are working and you have money. She can't work so help her."
My dad doesn't know about this.
AITA? ###### | NTA. You are not your sister's keeper. You aren't financially responsible for anyone other than your kids.
Is it NICE to give her money? Charity is something a lot of people find to be nice.
But charity should NEVER be required. ###### |
Alright, so my younger brother is 8, and is still unable to wipe his ass, and my parents don't see it as a problem. My mom went to the store earlier, and my dad was at work. My younger brother calls for me and says he took a shit. I called my mom asking what I should do, and she told me to try to help him, if not do it for him. I really feel uncomfortable touching my brother anywhere down there, or even looking at his privates, so me and my other brothers tried to coach him on how to do it. I might get in trouble if he gets a shit stain in his underwear, too. I've previously gotten into some heat with my dad about this too, as he wanted me to wipe him once, and I refused.
WIBTA for feeling uncomfortable and trying to avoid wiping my elementary aged brother's ass when my parents can't?
EDIT: For those of you asking, my brother has no disabilities, although there has been a rumor here and there about him being really high functioning on the autism spectrum ###### | NTA. You are not the parent, this is not your responsibility. Your parents are the assholes if they expect you or your brothers to do this. ###### |
I'm a high school teacher. I have one student who didn't pass, and now his mom and some of his other teachers want to have a meeting this afternoon talk about how we can make up the work and get him credit for his classes so he doesn't have to retake them.
This kid couldn't be bothered to show up and do the work all year. He was chronically absent and didn't do anything on the rare occasion he did show up to class when school was still in session. After the schools closed, he had months at home with no new material in my class that he could have used to make up the work. Instead, he put it all off until the last week of the semester and then half-assed everything because he didn't pay attention in class when we learned how to do the work. I feel like he's dug his own grave, and I haven't seen any changes in behavior that suggest he'd actually start trying to do well now.
On top of that, my contract ended a couple days ago. Sure the school said they'll pay me extra for working with him, but it's outside of my contractual duties. And I already have a summer job starting next week, so I don't want or need the extra hours. The only thing pushing me to join this meeting is a sense of guilt because I wouldn't feel like I was doing everything possible and going the extra mile if I don't attend the meeting. He *will* have to do summer school or retake the class next year if I don't join the meeting and offer him a customized path to make up his missing work, but doing so will further eat into my time over the next two weeks as I'll have to schedule Zoom meetings with him and take time to grade his work.
And my wife gets off work early today. We'll probably just end up watching a movie or something, but I'd rather spend the time with my wife. I feel a little petty saying this, but spending time with my wife is more important to me than trying one more time to save a student who has spent all year sabotaging himself.
So would I be the asshole if I skip this meeting? ###### | NTA. You are not obligated to help this kid any more than you already have. If people continue to bail him out at the last second to make sure everything goes fine despite him being lazy, he'll never truly have consequences for his actions. Let him repeat the class next year. Enjoy your time off with your wife. ###### |
I live with my Dad, his wife, and my step sister Jade (13). I am 19.
Jade has gotten overweight to the point where her asthma has gotten pretty severe and she has prediabetes. The doctor has told her that she need to lose weight. Unfortunately for Jade, her mother only makes like frozen packaged meals or orders takeout.
When she and my father got married I was 12, and I gained a significant amount of weight. My mother showed me how to cook before she passed away, but my step mother refused to let me get my own fresh food to cook.
I have been cooking my own meals since I got my first job.
My step mother and jade have been trying for around three months to get her to lose weight and it hasn’t been working. In my opinion it is because stepmom refuses to cook.
A while ago while I was making my lunch, my step mom came up to me and asked why I don’t make food for Jade too. I said Jade never really asks me for food, so I never thought to. She then told me that I needed to start making Jade food when I made food to help her control her weight.
I told her I would be willing to show Jade how to make a few healthy meals on her own, but that I was not into cooking meals for her. Jade is pretty picky. I also have a plant based diet that Jade isn’t going to go for. Step mom got angry and told me she would be taking it up with my dad. She says that since I live here rent free (she doesn’t work so she does too tbh) I should help with this.
My dad unfortunately agrees with my step mom. He thinks I’m an ass for not offering to make her food in the first place. I told him that it’s not my problem that step mom can’t cook. She should learn. I’m going to end up cooking separate meals for myself and jade and I don’t think it’s fair.
They have even told Jade that I don’t care about her because I won’t cook her food. Everyone in the house thinks I’m an asshole, am I really an asshole for not cooking her food? ###### | NTA. You are not her parent. She has 2 perfectly good parents that can cook for her. ###### |
Before I start I should go ahead and apologize for any formatting errors because I am on mobile.
Ok so my mom has recently decided to join a Facebook religious cult. She pretty much adds anyone she can on Facebook that is in this group with her. A majority of them are random men from other countries. She has never met any of them. She also has a lot of meth heads on there too. She is a “recovering” meth addict (she claims that she doesn’t so drugs anymore, but her actions speak differently).
Anyways, I recently posted pictures of my daughter on Facebook and tagged her and other family members in them. She is also tagged in older pictures of my children as well. I started getting notifications that these random men were liking and commenting on every single picture of my daughter that my mom is tagged in. They were only commenting and liking pictures of her by herself. They would say that she is the most beautiful girl they have ever seen and that they love her blonde hair and asked my mom to post more pictures of her. She is six years old. I blocked all of them and removed all of the tags of my mom.
This is where I’m not sure if I over reacted or if I was justified in doing this. Because now my mom and grandma are telling me that I am trying to keep my mom out of my daughters life by not tagging her in pictures. My grandma told me that I’m a huge disappointment and that I shouldn’t judge the men just because they said she’s beautiful. So Reddit.... AITA? ###### | NTA. You are looking out for the safety of your daughter and keeping her away from the eyes of these skeevy ass strangers. Your mom and grandma are being naive af about the situation and that's not your fault if they don't understand. ###### |
On April 3rd, our neighbors put up two lawn signs. One says, “Jesus, I just want to thank you for having my mommy keep me.” The other one has a bible verse. I found their signs incredibly insensitive and ordered a pink “I support Planned Parenthood” sign for our lawn.
Our sign was delivered today and my husband is worried that putting it up will cause a “war” with the neighbors. We’re not friends with them. Occasionally, my husband will chat with the husband when they are both grilling. We don’t know the wife or daughter’s name.
I’m active military and we will move in the next year (we rent a house off base) so I don’t care what the neighbors think - but my husband’s support is important to me.
Would I be the asshole for posting a “I support Planned Parenthood” sign in our front lawn? ###### | NTA. You are expressing yourself just as they are. It may come off as a bit passive aggressive to them but honestly who cares. I'd buy 3 more lol ###### |
So, recently I learned just how homophobic my brother is. It turns out he repeats that “gays go to hell and are bad” to his CHILDREN. I am a pan/bi guy, and this shocked me seeing how he was only a little on the “gays are bad” side until now. I have reinforced it in my niece and nephew that what he is saying is not true nor is it good. His blatant homophobia has caused my niece, a usually sweet girl, to call people gay or lesbian as an insult. I, again, have tried to reinforce it to her and telling her that calling someone gay or lesbian as an insult is not very good. All of this has caused me to hate my step-brother and his wife due to this. AITA? ###### | NTA. You are entitled to what you feel but those are ultimately his kids. You can't control how he raises them.
However, if you do want to influence his kids to be more tolerant, reason with them instead of telling them. For example, ask them why do they think gay people are bad? What have they done to deserve being called bad?
Children love to be taken seriously. Having conversations like these may actually help them think and reason for themselves instead of blindly following their father. ###### |
I (21F) recently moved in to a new flat, now I'm living by myself and the cats, which is much better because I was having a hard time with my ex-flatmate. Where I used to live, my boyfriend (M23) had the keys, for a while it was ok but suddenly he started to make some suprise visits and I got really scared it could be someone breaking into my house, apart from the fact that sometimes I need to be alone to study.
I moved to this flat 3 months ago and I made an extra copy to my brother, as sometimes I have to travel, he takes care of my cats.
The """problem""" of my new building is that I have to go all the way down to open the door for guests to come in, and this fact is really bothering my boyfriend! The street I live is dark during the night, so can be quite scary but is not dangerous.
He basically wants the keys because he is afraid of my street and if someday I don't answer my phone to open the door he thinks I will put his life in danger.
Despite from that, he also brings the fact that he had the keys of my old house and is weird he doesn't have of my new one. During a discussion I made an unfortunate comment... I said "we are not married, I am the one that lives here, not you and you don't even pay rent". He was upset and I said that on the heat of the moment but it seems like he can't understand that I enjoy my personal space and having the key or not will not make him stop visiting me. I don't have the key of his house and I couldn't care less. ###### | NTA. You are entitled to personal space. Who gave him keys to your old flat? If it WASN'T you, bring that up. If it WAS you, then you need to make it clear that you gave him those keys as a sign of trust, and he violated that by not giving you any warning when he was coming over. Tell him that surprise visits are unwelcome, and if he can abide by only coming over when you've approved the visit, then he can earn back the privilege of having his own keys, but you have the right to take those keys back if he keeps violating your boundaries.
You are allowed to have boundaries. ###### |
Before you think I’m a horrible person, there is a reason. My cousin, Linda, has the most lovely 3-year old ever. I love her with all my heart and I miss them like crazy.
Linda lives about an hour away from me(26f) and my sisters (14, 23, 28, 29). Since all of this crazy mess happened, if a cousin had a birthday in the area we would all drive by their house, beep, and say Happy Birthday. The cousins we’ve done it with have been 9 and 15. Their parents reached out to us before hand that they would like us to come and do this.
Linda has not asked anyone to come to hers, probably distance being a reason. But Linda’s daughter has been having a hard time with not being able to play with others. She has a 6-month sister, and Linda has constantly been keeping the kids entertained. Linda’s mom and sister live right next door to them, but since her sister is an essential worker, they haven’t been able to go over and play.
Linda told me and my sisters about how said her daughter would get extremely upset when her sister and mom would say hi through the window. After they leave, she would need to be comforted because she would constantly ask “why doesn’t anyone want to play with me”.
When my oldest sister suggested we drive over there to say happy birthday from the car, I said we should ask Linda first. My sister said she would rather have it as a surprise. I kept insisting, saying that I don’t think it’s a good idea and let’s at least ask Linda because while it may be fun for the few minutes we are there, we are not the ones that have to console a sad 3-year old after we leave.
My sister got angry at me and uninvited me to go. I understand that they want to do something nice (Linda’s husband actually put together a video of family singing happy birthday for her along with a special message from a princess) but not at the cost of causing more harm than good. I at the very least would like Linda to know so she can decide if her child can handle it.
So AITA? ###### | NTA. You are completely correct in your reasoning and I really think you should give your cousin a heads up on this. My heart hurts for that little girl. Please tell her I would love to play with her if I could. ###### |
There's actually 2 incidences that lead to this post. Some context: I'm (25F) currently living with my parents due to circumstances & cause I'm doing my PhD. When I'm home, I wear a baggy t-shirt with shorts. My shorts are the sporty type (sorta like jogging shorts), but my t-shirts can cover them cause they're super baggy. When I'm alone or coming out of my room at 1am to get water, sometimes I can't be bothered to wear my shorts.
First incident: my stepmom mentioned quite a number of times that my shorts are too short & I should wear longer shorts around my dad because 'he's still a man'. I asked her if she listened to herself when she said that & she doesn't answer me. She also gets agitated when I'm not wearing my shorts when I come out for 5 mins at 1am to get water. My dad goes to sleep at 9pm, so he's not around when I'm shorts-less.
Second incident: my step aunt was coming over to use our Wifi for work & I'm in my shorts & baggy t-shirt combo. Apparently she was uncomfortable with the way I dress cause I could influence her daughter (my step cousin, who is 14). But the thing is, I'm still clothed. And my shorts aren't so short until you can see my butt cheeks.
My stepmom mentioned my shorts again, but this time I got annoyed & asked her if I should wear jeans. She said no, but that I should wear longer shorts. I told her that my shorts look extra short because I'm wearing a baggy t-shirt, but she still says they're too short. I refuse to buy new shorts just to appease her, but I am wondering if I'm TA.
So reddit, please give me some input. ###### | NTA. You are an adult. Bodies are not inherently sexual. You should be allowed to be comfortable at home. He is your dad. Your step mother sounds gross and sexist. There is just so much assholery going on here, but none of it because of you. ###### |
Im m, 23, and im currently staying with my mom until I can get my own place again. Shes bipolar and on disability, and has been manic off and on for some time. She also has been having some paranoia. For a while, things got so bad that she came into my room 2 or 3 times an hour all night long, for multiple days. She had all kinds of paranoid reasons to justify this, such as a man's face appearing in her phone, people were out to get her, etc. I tried handling it as kindly as possible at first, but I have my own mental health issues and it got to the point where I was literally unable to sleep. So, I grabbed a couple of crutches we had laying around and braced my door shut with them to keep her out. Its literally become my nightly routine. In fact, she just tried coming in a few minutes ago, and it's going on 2 am here. On a Wednesday. Shes insisting that I am making everyone in the house "unsafe" by bracing my door shut, bc I sometimes have my window open and if someone came in through it I would be unable to leave the room quickly, would be silenced, and then everyone in the house would be screwed. I feel like this is paranoid nonsense, and shes just pissed that I stopped her from being able to barge in at all hours of the night whenever she feels like it. AITA? ###### | NTA. You are an adult, not a toddler that needs to be checked up on throughout thr night. ###### |
My mom and I (18F) have always had an extremely close relationship. Basically I have always talked to her about everything and she is someone I look to for guidance. I started dating this guy (18M) at the beginning of college. My mom, being pretty religious, has always made it clear she wants me to wait until marriage to have sex. I agree with her on most things, but not this. I think it is my decision when I want to have sex and with whom.
Anyway, I started taking birth control about a month ago because I planned on having sex with my boyfriend. But we got sent home from college so it never happened. But I’m still taking the birth control because we probably still will.
Anyway, my mom saw my birth control and asked me if I’m having sex. I said no. She then accused me of lying for days. Eventually, we talked and she finally believed me when I told her I’m not yet but am planning to.
Then she said that she would like to know when we do decide to so we can talk before hand, I know it’s just going to be her last attempt at trying to discourage me. I told her it’s my decision and she doesn’t need to know when and now she’s mad. AITA? Since it’s wouldn’t be any trouble for me to just tell her, but I don’t think it’s her business. ###### | NTA. You are an adult so it’s not her business to know. Your body, your choice.
And birth control isn’t always for preventing pregnancies. I take birth control to help with acne. ###### |
So my (f22) bf (m22) mentioned that he and his coworker send weird hentai to each other as a joke. I immediately got annoyed and told him it was inappropriate and I wasn’t comfortable with it. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with it but told me he wouldn’t do it if it made me uncomfortable. He tells me I guess your right. I wasn’t trying to make this about me being right or trying to attack him, I told him I was just trying to get my feelings across. He just responded with I understand and that was it. Now he isn’t texting me. Was I blowing this out of proportion? This all happened over text btw.
Edit: the coworker was female. That’s why I was upset. ###### | NTA. You are allowed to have limits of what you consider comfortable, and sharing sexual texts with a coworker can absolutely be outside of your comfort zone.
He has agreed with you that you are allowed to be uncomfortable, and has agreed to suspend the activity. So I'd give him some time to see if he's just busy, or if he's sulking, or what he's up to. ###### |
My boyfriend is allergic to shellfish. His throat closes up within an few hours if we don’t get to the emergency room on time. He doesn’t need an epipen but he does need to get to the emergency room to take a methyl prednisone pill. I am aware of these allergies and always do my best to accommodate them. I would never want him to be hurt. However, we disagree on the severity of his allergy. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. I have seen him have allergy attacks, but they’ve never been immediate and always took 8-2 hours before bothering him. Recently my boyfriend has had allergy attacks due to him and other people being negligent (never me!), this has caused my boyfriend to be extremely anxious about his allergy. When we first started dating we would go our for Chinese food all the time (my favorite food, yes this is the most important problem we’re having right now). He would tell people he had an allergy and has NEVER had an allergic reaction from these outings. Due to recent events, he doesn’t want to go anymore, which is understandable. However, now he won’t let ME eat it either! Just to be clear, I don’t eat shellfish or anything fried when I order, I always say I have an allergy as well so it’ll be safe, AND I brush my teeth, rinse my mouth, wash my face and wash my hands, sometimes I’ll even change my shirt if I’m worried. Again, he has never had an allergic reaction because of me. I am very careful. Every time I order I also make sure he is in the mood for something I don’t want so he doesn’t feel left out. AITA for wanting to eat Chinese food? ###### | NTA. You are allowed to eat whatever you want. You also respect the fact that he has allergies, and accommodate to him. He should respect that even after you eat it you do everything to can to make sure he is not harmed. ###### |
Bare with me, this will probably be a long one.
Me (31F, no siblings) and my boyfriend (M27) of 8 years are going to hopefully be buying our first home this year. Something I never thought I would be able to do considering my childhood.
My mother (63) has undefined mental health issues (it’s a mixture of being a narcissist and bi polar, at a guess) and is living with my father (66) illegally because she refused to get a job once the government stopped giving her money when I turned 18. My dad pays for everything for her with what little money he has.
My childhood was rough, I lived in poverty and because of my mothers issues she refused to allow me to get an education. My childhood was pretty bad, think no dinners, no friends, not allowed outside the house unless accompanied by her. Not because of money issues (we were poor but we would technically be able to buy food/electricity/clothes/etc), but simply my mother was too lazy/too mentally unwell to do anything about it. In turn I had severe anxiety and depression up until I met my boyfriend and my boyfriend got me out of the apartment I was in. My dad intervening in my education when I was 18 and that was the reason why I managed to be lucky enough to meet my boyfriend.
Now, my dad keeps jokingly saying would there be space for him and/or my mother in my new house. I know he’s half serious. But I really, really do not want to take my mother into my home, if anything happens to my dad my mother may technically be out on the streets and will plead with me to take her in. But I simply cannot do that. I have worked extremely hard to get into the position I am in now to have a normal anxiety free life (I’m now medicated), but I fear my mother will wail and cry asking me how could I do this to her, when my question was how could she do what she did to me as a child?
So, WIBTA if I point blank refuse to allow either of my parents to live in my home? ###### | NTA. You are allowed protect your health and mental health recovery above and beyond anything else after working so hard to get well.
Your parents don’t have the right to expect you to allow them to move in with you and while your mothers potential future homelessness is sad it is not your fault or responsibility.
Have you heard the saying. “You aren’t obliged to set yourself on fire to keep others warm”? ###### |
My [18f] boyfriend [18m] and I have been together for 2 years and are moving out together soon. He sort of wants a roommate to help pay rent and everything, but none of our friends want to do it except one.
I've known this friend longer than I've known my boyfriend, and he has always made me very uncomfortable. He used to be really into me and would just generally be creepy. He's gotten better about it, but I just have this gut feeling that it won't turn out good and it makes me very, very deeply uncomfortable, partially because of some past experiences.
I don't want this to seem like my boyfriend is just being a dick. He is not. His reasoning for this is that it will take a pretty good chunk out of what we have to pay, and he likes said friend. I see how it might be nice, but I've been calculating my ass off and we'd both have a good 4 or 5 hundred or more each month after paying rent, groceries, etc.
It's a good reason, but I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that screams this is an awful idea. I can honestly barely stand to be around this person more than an hour or two, and he makes me deeply uncomfortable. This is stressing me out so much and every time I try to talk to him about it he gets mad, even if he's the one who brings up talking about it. This is to the point where it makes me not want to even live with my boyfriend, but my home life is so draining and stressful that either one sounds awful. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
tl;dr: my friend makes me very deeply uncomfortable but my partner sees it as absolutely necessary that we let him move in. ###### | NTA. You are a member of this house just as much as he is. Any additions need to have a 100 percent backing from both of you. Home is where you need to relax and rest and if this friend of yours can’t allow you to do that, he’s not fit to be your roommate. ###### |
Hello,
First of all, sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my native langage.
Recently, I (20f) had an argument with my boyfriend (25m). We've been together for almost two years now and I've never hidden the fact that I have severe endometriosis. Because of that I had to go under surgery to remove life threatening cysts (my ovaries could have litteraly explod). I want kids, but later, when I can afford to take care of them. Now is my problem, because of the cysts and the disease in general, I'm pratically sterile, and I would have to freeze my last eggs to preserve them and use them when I'll want kids. For that I have to go under treatment for a month, then collect the eggs through another surgery and to be sure I'll have chances to get pregnant I have to go through this 3 or 4 times. (It would cost me nothing, my assurance will pay for 5 tries max)
My parents support me, because my mother went through the same thing, they want grandchildren and my happiness, but my boyfriend disagree. He does not want kids, I never asked him to become a father in our situation but I want to save my chances for later. He thinks that because he does not want kids, I should not try to save my eggs because he won't change his mind. I want to do it for me, nothing tells me he won't change his mind, or that we will still be together when I want kids. I think he's being selfish and inconsiderate of my own choices and body. I never said I wanted to use those eggs right now and force him to be a father, so this has nothing to do with him ? He said that eventually he will leave me if I speak about it again or agree to the treatment.
I don't think it is wrong for me to do something with my body that has nothing to do with him, so do you thing I am? ###### | NTA. You are 20. There is no way to predict what you want and who you’ll be with in 10 or 15 years. It is ridiculous to NOT save your eggs now, when it is free to do so, JUST IN CASE you aren’t with him them. If you marry and stay together forever and still don’t want them, no harm no foul. Many women are now freezing eggs so that they can concentrate on their careers and just have one less thing to worry about... or delay worrying about. Some companies even pay for it!
I am happily child free, but I always assumed I had time to decide. Cue turning 38 and I took some tests to just learn more about my body and I have basically 0 eggs left. Like I’m literally perimenopausal 12 years early. Thank god, I’m ok with that, but if I wasn’t, I’d be shelling out tens of thousands of dollars for donor eggs and ivf. I am also not even close to being with the guy I was with at 20, much less the same mindset. Just do it. He either gets over the fact that you have the ability to one day have kids or he doesn’t. But that’s a “risk” with most women he will date or marry. If he doesn’t, I feel like this is a really good time to know a) how he feels about even the idea of kids and b) how he feels about the concept of bodily autonomy and preventative health care. ###### |
My ex and I broke up last year. We had a very good run and over the years his friends became my friends too. There is a photo on my Instagram of me, him and a friend of ours at one of our other friends' wedding. I think it's a very sweet photo that captured the the memory of that night, so I never deleted that one photo despite having all other photos of my ex removed. Today, my ex texted me asking me to delete said photo. I told him I'm still considering whether I will, as the photo involved another person and I like the time that it represents (i.e. when everything was alright and well).
I'm leaning more towards deleting to be nice, say 65:45. But if I refused to delete the photo, would that make me the asshole? ###### | NTA. You and your ex had experiences. Deleting the photos won't mean those experiences happened. There are no reasons to delete the picture (or any of the pics if you had wanted to keep them). ###### |
For reference I'm 21 years old and currently reside in the north east (US). My parents are mid 50s.
This summer my parents decided to take off and spend the majority of their summer house shopping in Florida, as they're looking to retire soon. I was left home alone for that entire time to take care of the house and dogs. I was working a virtual internship at home and being paid enough to easily support myself living alone (my own food/gas while they still paid the actual bills) in my parents house.
My internship has finished up so my parents want me to fly down to Florida and see the house they just made an offer for. I bought my own round trip ticket (ridiculously cheap cause no one is flying right now) to see my parents and spend the weekend playing golf and hanging out.
Today my dad sprung on me that I should forgo flying home and instead drive with them 5 days later. The drive is about 16 hours and they want to leave 5 days later than I would be on my flight. I don't have much time before returning to school, so I was looking forward to having those last few days to relax at home. Not to mention my school is in the south and I drive, so I'd basically be driving home with them to turn around and drive back the way I came a few days later. After explaining to my dad that I didn't want to drive back with them as that wasn't the original plan, the limited time I have until I return to school, and the fact that I paid for a flight he freaked out calling me entitled, saying that they needed my help to drive back. I refused and said I'll be taking the flights I paid for and then he said "enjoy your flight, don't plan on staying with us if you won't come back with us" and hung up.
AITA here for not wanting to drive 16 hours? ###### | NTA. You already paid for the flight and made other plans. If he wanted your help with the driving he should have asked you earlier. ###### |
I (25F) am currently stuck in my apartment with my 2 other roommates (Dave, 27M; Sarah 24F). We all met through mutual friends and have a good roommate relationship, we aren't close friends but in normal times we do things together occasionally.
Recently we've been sharing food costs and everyday a different roommate does the cooking and we all eat. We each have certain foods we don't like and are allowed to take a pass on that food being cooked. For one of my roommates (24F) she expects meat at every meal and will actively avoid vegetarian or vegan foods. It's not a health thing it's a preference thing and she has told us as much.
Well my one roommate (Dave), went grocery shopping the other day and came back with some Chorizo that I had requested for making Shaksuka. It turned out really good and Sarah expressed interest in having the meal again. She had never had Chirozo before and so she dug the wrapper out of the garbage to see what spices were in it. It's then that we found out Dave had accidentally bought 'soyrizo' rather than the meaty kind. Sarah was livid and starting saying I was trying to trick her into being vegan. (Note: none of us are vegan or vegetarian nor have ever been). Dave and I told her it was an accident but she wouldn't hear it. She's been ignoring us since last night and has since stated she will be cooking her own food and will be taking her pans into her room so that we won't 'contaminate them with tofu'.
I understand her frustration but the whole thing was an accident that I unfortunately can't undo. I think this while thing is just a misunderstanding but it's getting hostile in the apartment and I'm starting to feel like the asshole. AITA? ###### | NTA. You "understand her frustration"? How? What is there to understand? She's insane. And an asshole. ###### |
Title sounds bad but here me out
I have a child who is 18. My daughter knew that my wife was having an affair with another women for 2 years and she had evidence off it stored on her phone. Me and my wife are not able to afford a lot of things I had my suspicions when my wife gave my daughter a 2000 dollar gift on her birthday when we are normally not able to afford it and the money did not came out of our bank accounts. I also had more suspicions that when my wife started giving her more expensive gifts in general.
Today I was checking my daughters phone cause my daughter was caught with porn and that she was also caught bullying people. I found some texts to a random lady that my wife was cheating with and that my daughter said she can't wait to meet her new mother and she can't wait to leave her dirty old father. My daughter also said stuff like Men are gross and disgusting to look at and how they should all be in jail
When my daughter asked for her phone (I paid for it) I refused to give it to her telling her that she could ask her new mom for one. My daughter asked what new mom and showed her text she tried her best to having a poker face but she broke. I told my daughter that from now on I am no longer her father and I don't want nothing to do with her.
I said you have a new mother now your mom's new gf. My daughter asked what about her college that I was supposed to pay for her. I told her I am using that money for vacation eventually and that she can expect her new mom to pay for it. My daughter angrily left and when she sees me she yells at me so aita for not wanting anything to do with my daughter after she betrayed me. ###### | NTA. Yes she is young but she knew exactly what she was doing. You can’t blame this on ignorance ###### |
My provincial government has released a 3.5 million dollar support fund for university students, and a 1.5 million dollar fund for indigenous students.
I couldn’t care less. Having a separate fund for indigenous students (who make up a decent percentage of the university population) will likely result in more money for all of us. So it may work out better for literally every student? At least that’s what I believe.
My mom sent the news article to our family chat, accompanied with “they don’t work and get free school. OP, aren’t you mad about this? You work your butt off to pay for school”. I went up to her in person and said that I already applied for funding so I don’t care, and that it was a really harmful thing to say in front of my 14 year old brother that “natives don’t work”.
She started bitching at me about how lazy they are and I said that she was being a racist and it’s disgusting. She stomped to her room and slammed the door to call my father. I just received an angry text saying that was disrespectful to call my mother a racist and I have no idea what racism is.
AITA for saying she’s racist?? ###### | NTA. Yeah, what she said is racist, plain and simple and your father is enabling it at the very least. ###### |
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