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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I (21/f) handle this with my ?? (20/m) so I don't embarrass myself?
POST: I fell for a guy long distance. We talked for two years until it was apparent we felt strongly about each other so we started making visits to see if a LDR is something we could do. We wanted to get to know each other better in person. We did this for a few months.
Apparently, he kinda couldn't. He started to fade out and seemed a bit detatched. I was getting fed up by his flakiness and broke it off with him. I didn't want to really, but he was making me in a way. I told him how I felt and how I wanted it to work but he said that while he cared for me a lot and wished we could be together, we couldn't because an LDR was just too hard for him.
I understood this and we parted ways. He asked to be friends but I declined. We haven't talked in ~6 months. I decided to check out his Facebook yesterday because one of my friends liked something he posted. I don't know why I did this. We aren't Facebook friends as I deleted him when we went no contact. I saw that he posts a status once a week with quotes and lyrics that are kinda sad. It's definitely about break ups, about wanting to work things out, wishing things were different, and missing someone.
I want to reach out and see if I'm still on his radar. I get he hasn't reached out but I did decline him as a friend. Maybe he's afraid of rejection. It has been a few months. I know we still are long distance, but that just seems so foolish. I mean, I really do think relationships can work when two people want it to. We never had any issues and he seemed to genuinely like me. I don't want to make a fool. I guess the statuses could be about someone new but the way they are worded just sounds like it's someone 'old' if that makes sense. Any suggestions?
TL;DR: | Guy and I didn't work out due to long distance but he's been posting a lot of relevant statuses. Deciding if I should make a move. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Your change, Ma'am.
POST: I work at a sandwich shop in a local shopping center. The kind of shop where people get choose their sandwich fillings and the poor drone behind the counter (i.e. Me) fetches and creates said sandwich. I've had the unfortunate pleasure of dealing with this one rude older woman who speaks English with very strong foreign accent, however she is quite fluent. The old slag and her friend would constantly harangue myself and my fellow drones for not putting enough in their sandwiches, overcharging (when they had a billion things jammed in there), not being able to understand them etc. On top of that there was one time where I gave her her sandwich and she simply walked away without paying. After not seeing her for a while, she came back with her troglodyte friend and ordered a sandwich which my manager made. I jumped in, petty revenge burning in the forefront of my mind, and rang it up on the register. I can't remember how much it was exactly, but her change ended up being about $4 (AUD). I lied and told her we had only small change left and gave her her $4 in 5s, 10s, and 20s (only like... 3 twenties, mind). Australian coins look like [this] Her face was worth it. Enjoy your shrapnel, bitch. Oh, and my manager thought it was hilarious.
TL;DR: | Asshat old lady is a bitch to me at work, so I gave her enough coins to drown a hobo as change. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F] am having trouble with finding a way to communicate to my boyfriend [M](dating for 10 months) my love for him.
POST: So, i would like to start this by saying i love my boyfriend. He is amazing, sweet, kind, understanding, and so much more. We both love each other a lot. However, we have very different love languages.
I love words of reassurance and physical touch and gifts. His is physical touch and words of reassurance, but in a specific way that confuses me. He doesn't like any kind of physical representation of my love for him. Giving him gifts, writing "why i love you" letters, making him things, etc, he has said it doesn't really do anything for him. This really confuses me because he says he likes words of reassurance but if i write them in a letter to him, like i did earlier today by writing '100 reasons why i love you',he doesn't really like it.
What do i do? He only likes it when its in person. I want to be creative in showing my love for him, but it feels very limited and i love making and giving him things that take a lot of time and effort, and although he says he appreciates it, he says it doesn't do anything for him.
It hurts my feelings because if he says he likes words of reassurance and i leave a note on his bathroom mirror or something, he obviously doesn't like it that much,when i thought he would. I love leaving notes and writing poems and other stuff like that for him, but he just doesn't like it. What should i do for him, aside from things i can only actively do in person, ie, tell him things directly, massage him, etc. He is very vague in what he does and doesn't like when i ask him, so what should i do? does anyone have any ideas of ways to express love that aren't a physical representation?
TL;DR: | i dont know how to communicate my love in a way my boyfriend appreciates because he is very vague about what he likes and dislikes and i could really use some ideas. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24M] girlfriend [23F] of 7 months is acting strangely, saying inconsiderate things and being passive-aggressive
POST: I'm in my last year of university, she graduated early. I'm a full time student, about 22 hours in the classroom in a week. I also work 25 hours a week.
My girlfriend works full time (40 hrs/week) and we don't see each other a lot because she lives almost an hour away.
Things were great until I went to Europe with my best friend [22M] in March. Since coming back, my hours at work have been cut due to a new manager and several other factors.
Since coming back, it feels like my girlfriend has been keeping me at arms length. She's been putting words in my mouth, assigning me thoughts I do not think, and is upset I don't spend more time with her.
Additionally, I bought tickets for her and me to go see the ballet (she used to dance) for her birthday. She insists that I "don't want to go" and that I don't take any time for her interests (despite the fact I've taken up yoga to spend more time with her).
TL;DR: | I went to Europe a while back and when I came home my girlfriend is acting like a totally different person. What do I do now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By laughing at someone's accent
POST: Ok, so this actually happened a few years ago in high school. Also, this is my first post, so bear with me.
The group of friends I ate with at lunch were a funny bunch of guys. One of them, who also happened to have a thick accent, came up with a funny word that made everyone laugh when he said it in a specific context. The running joke was funny to everyone for about two days, but he kept saying it the following days for about a week. To humor him, I was the only one who continued to laugh at the joke. Finally, after a week, someone in the group asked why I still laughed at it. I didn't want to hurt the guys feelings, so I came up with the first thing that came to mind other than just to humor him; his accent. He did not take it well; he started tearing up. Meanwhile, I'm feeling awful and everyone is now pissed at me. I figured telling the truth would just make matters worse, so I ended up sitting by myself for the lunch period after they told me to leave. I apologized the next day and still never told him the truth to this day.
I later decided not to associate with that group any longer and hung out with a much more friendly bunch. I figure any group that would cast out a friend over a minor and obviously non-intentional mistake is not something I want to be part of.
TL;DR: | Said a friend's accent was funny when I actually laughed out of pity; ended up getting shut out by "friends" |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17 M] have never had a girlfriend because of my fear of rejection and I don't know how to/ am too afraid to conquer it
POST: Kind of embarrassing, so I created a throwaway. Basically, I'm 17 years old and I have never had a girlfriend, never had a first kiss, etc. I know that this is completely my fault... because I have never approached a girl. I don't know why, but I've always been deathly afraid of rejection. If someone get's mad at me over a little thing I did, it'll stick with me for the rest of the week. I dunno, but I've always been that type of person.
Because of this, I have never had the courage to approach a girl needless to say show interest in one. I don't think I'm *that* unattractive, but I just know that if I did ask a girl out, and if I did get rejected, I'd feel absolutely crushed.
I know that women are just people too, but you guys just seem so scary! I've had a couple of girls show interest in me throughout my school years (I've NEVER been the one to make the first move), but I'm just so paranoid about girls doing it as a prank to ridicule me (I know it's extremely ridiculous) or whatever, that everytime it has happened (it's been a while), I just froze and it never went beyond them showing interest/asking me out. I'd always just act like I didn't know what was going on and I've even rejected them a couple of times. Like I said, it's been a while, but I could imagine myself doing the same thing today because I still haven't changed.
TL;DR: | Have never had a girlfriend because I've never approached due to my fear of rejection. Don't know/afraid to conquer it. I'm a fucking coward. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[23F] have been hiding a big secret from my fiancée [25M] of 3 years, that I think would potentially break us up if he found out.
POST: I can't believe I'm posting here, but this has been weighing on me for the past couple of days.
About 6 months back, I made the ridiculous mistake of shoplifting. I was going through some rough times and I let my impulses get the better of me. But I fixed all that and I paid my fines, etc. I did this all in secret though. I know I did wrong and I deserve pretty much anything. And I feel like a sack of shit for never telling him. I wanted to, several times because I never want to keep secrets.. But every time I backed out of it. I would get so scared that he'd be mad or worse break up with me. So I just shut my mouth and pushed it away.
I know what the obvious answer is..I should tell him but I don't know how. I experienced emotional abuse when I was younger so this is quite possibly one of the hardest things for me. I learned to lie to avoid anger or disappoint. I know that is an excuse but confrontation is so hard for me.
Please help me. I don't want to keep this secret from him anymore. And I know its his full right to leave me, but I really don't want that. I know I broke his trust and I can never forgive myself.
TL;DR: | I had a run in with the law 6 months ago and I never told my fiancée. How, if even possible, can I remedy this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: What should I do next, if anything at all?
POST: I applied to a job a couple of weeks ago and got a call almost immediately thereafter to schedule an interview (my first one as a university graduate). I had the interview last Thursday and it seemed to go fairly well, and we even went over by 15 minutes. It wasn't even with an HR person, but rather the specific person I'd be working for/with.
I got a call later that day from HR saying they "absolutely wanted to move ahead with the hiring process" and that they would fly me down for onsite interviews/meetings. The wording of the whole thing seemed to imply that it was more formality and, by her words, "to make sure that I wasn't lying on my resume." She said they'd contact me early this week with details.
Fast forward to today and I still hadn't heard from them. I'm about ready to email them and ask when I get an email that basically reads as follows:
"Hello kyle,
[Some stuff about sharing application info with the person I interviewed with]. The hiring team has requested interviews with a couple other candidates first. I may have misunderstood the initial direction regarding an interview for you. I am sorry to have created a false expectation for you.
As soon as I know for certain if they will interview you Kyle, I'll be in touch."
I emailed her back saying that I understood and asking her to stay in contact with me regarding any future updates to the status of my application.
What should I do next? Do I just wait? Should I forget about it? Is this just a way of saying they aren't interested? Is it that they want to interview everyone first and *then* schedule an interview?
TL;DR: | had an interview, told I was going to be flown down for another one, got stiffarmed, and am now confused about what I should do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my ___ [21 F] 2 months, some reason I cant get over the break up.
POST: So I have been dating my ex for only 2 months, I know this is nothing like most threads where the relationships have been for like over 2 years, but for some reason I can relate and cant get over the pain.
She recently broke it off with me because I went skinny dipping without her, I assured her that it was with mostly my guy friends and a few other girls that I was trying to set up for my friends. I also told her that while we were playing truth or dare I did not participate because I told them I was in a relationship. Even though I don't believe what I did is hurtful enough to break a relationship I tried my all to apologize to get her back.
Currently she said that she wants to go back to square one and go on dates, but for the past day or so I've recieved no contact from her. I've been told to just give her space, like maybe a week without texting her but i'm afraid that she will find another guy and forget about me.
We were only together for 2 months but every second of the day I think about her and a weird pain in my stomach occurs everytime making me not able to eat because I will then feel sick. And what makes it worse is that it seems that she doesn't think of me at all, or care. Whats the best way to deal with this break up? I do want to get back with her.
TL;DR: | Broke up after 2 months, she wants to go back to square one but has recently started to give no contact, I cant deal with the nc. How do I stay with her but also deal with the nc? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [VA] So two types of black toxic mold were found in my bedroom. Where do I go from here?
POST: In February, my brother contacted our rental's office because of continuous leaks in our kitchen and in my bedroom. He even stated he was concerned about mold. They half-assed the job, and never checked for mold. They had to repair this leak about three times over the next 7 months and the last time we threatened to get a mold test kit. Well this sent them in to action with hygienist and all kinds of crews. Turns out they found extreme levels of toxic mold and about 4 other kinds. They, without notice, changed our locks and barred us from re-entry, we couldn't get any of our stuff out. My brother's bedroom was also picked through and his 9mm was stolen. I am going to the doctors ASAP to get checked out. But we have been living in these conditions for months. Where do I go from here?
TL;DR: | Complained for months about mold, hygienist just found extreme levels of toxic mold in my bedroom. Better yet remediation crews stole my brother's 9 mm. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Opening/starting a conversation with 'You look a lot like [celebrity]' - Yay or nay?
POST: 22M with no dating experience. There's this girl (22F) from my town who goes another college whom I stumbled upon online from mutual friends (Anyone thinking 'get your friends to introduce her'... Nope, because this hasn't worked out too well in the past for me and I'm not particularly close with our common friends). I think she's available. I'm deducing she's coming to town when my college has a football game against hers and I plan to try to bump into her during then.
The problem is we have never met or talked before, and I think I have a particular weakness in approaching total strangers and trying to start a conversation with them. Now, she looks remarkably similar to Emma Stone; her friends share this opinion and she even acknowledges this (source: a bit of 'research' on social networking sites).
I'm not a great conversation starter and I don't want to seem like a cheesy pickup asshat with generic lines. So I'm thinking of opening a conversation with her (if I manage to run into her) with something along the lines of 'Hey I don't usually do this with strangers, but has anyone told you that you look a lot like Emma Stone' and then going with the flow. What do you all think?
TL;DR: | Girl shares an uncanny resemblance to Emma Stone, coming to town next month and I'm thinking of using that to start a conversation with this complete stranger |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what have you had to endure because of either somebody with the same name as you, or somebody who looks just like you? My story inside.
POST: This is a new account because I don't want to associate my identity with my regular username. My name is Aaron Goldstein and I'm a musician and producer in Toronto. A lot of times, part of the reason people call me to play with them is because they've seen me play before and like what I do. And of course, a lot of people see me on youtube, rather than in person.
So a few weeks ago, it was brought to my attention that when searching my name on youtube, the result is no longer a long list of videos of me rocking and/or rolling. No, in fact, another chap by the same name has flooded the place with literally hundreds of videos which seem to cover two bases: having super creepy on-camera conversation/interaction/smooching with his girlfriend, and regaling the benefits of the pyramid scheme he's involved in.
Examples of the mind-blowing tripe you'll find on this guy's channel:
[boyfriend and girlfriend hanging out - Aaron and Emilia](
[Forehead kisses from boyfriend]
(
[love - I get my strength when I touch you baby](
[boyfriend and girlfriend setting up boundaries for their relationship](
[Aaron Goldstein's story - How I became free] - this is an extra super pyramidy one
And it goes on like this. Dozens and dozens of videos. Some of them with tens of thousands of views! It's like a car wreck and I can't peel my eyes away. It's not exactly like he's eating into my business - if people want to find me, they'll do it. It's just a hilarious and definitely unique answer to the question, "Hey, have you ever searched yourself on YouTube?"
TL;DR: | Guy with the same name as me has a youtube channel with a trillion videos of him either acting a creep with his girlfriend or shilling his pyramid scheme |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can anyone help me with a Comcast email problem and Xbox Live?
POST: I just bought a new 250gb Xbox Elite today at Best Buy. It was $100 with the agreement that I would use Xbox Live Gold for 2 years. I believe the sales woman said that Microsoft would send me an email to my account. So I used my Xbox Live account email which is a Comcast account I have. Accessing this account has never been a problem really. I changed the password on the account last year or the year before and had no problems getting onto the account. Now I want to see if I got an email from Microsoft about the new console I just purchased or about the payments for Xbox Live.
I can't log into my Comcast account although I know the password and email address. I keep getting told that my email address and password don't match. I can log onto Xbox's website and change the password for Comcast through there, but I can't to see my email. Is there anyway I can access the Comcast email address to see what I might be missing?
TL;DR: | Comcast says my email address and password don't match when I know they do. I want to know how to log into the account. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M] found on my girlfriend's [20 F] phone that she has been texting other guys and hiding it.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for about 10 months and live together. I just found out the other day that she has been texting some guy from her new job. Looking through the texts it appears to me that she had no intentions of cheating on me but was very fond of the attention. This of course created a huge fight in which I almost threw her out. She showed her remorse and made me come to believe that she was no longer going to talk to him and would never again do something like this.
We were working on getting past that when I saw on her phone that throughout the duration of our relationship that she had also been texting some other guy from her college that she went to the year prior. The text messages included her saying things I wouldn't have said to another girl. Nothing inappropriate but still very wrong. Again I don't think cheating took place but these text messages were absolutely a stab in the heart.
After finding those additional texts I have thrown her out and she is now at her mother's house. This all just happened now and I guess I don't know how to progress. She is very clearly destroyed by all of this and has been begging me to let her come home. I see how hurt she is by what she has done to me but I don't know if that is enough for me to take her back.
So my real question here is "Is it worth throwing this relationship out over the things I've found?" She has admitted how wrong it was and that she didn't realize how toxic some of the stuff she was saying was. So should I move on? Should I give her a chance to prove that she'll never do it again? Do I give her a chance to fix things? What do I do?
I appreciate any feedback.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend has been texting other guys behind my back. She hasn't cheated but should these signals be enough even though she shows clear remorse. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Talked to a girl at a bar, got a #, texted, asked her out and she agreed, gave her schedule then stops responding??
POST: (Both 21)That's the gist of it. Made eye contact with her 5 times before I rescued her from some old guys at the bar, motioned her over after the second guy so she can sit next to me and after 40 minutes we all decided to leave and traded numbers. I texted to make sure she got home safe and she said she had a fun time and thanks for rescuing her, twice. Next day I cut to the chase (via text I(leaving off of the nights text conversation), asked her out, asked her if she is free that night or the weekend, she replies that she is available Monday but then gone for a week.
So I said Monday works for me (Text one in response), I tell her I don't know of any special events(text two) and I offer suggestions and ask for her thoughts(text three)(all within 30 mins of the conversation)
No reply for the past day and a half (so 3pm yesterday, its now 2am so 35~ hours)
I know it seems like 2 stacked texts is weird, but it was a conversation she just left hanging.
I waited 24 hours, so this afternoon, and said "Sorry, to much to fast? I got excited and carried away." (3 stacked texts, two from the conversation and this new one a day later) Thinking, maybe this isn't normal for her lets make her feel comfortable.
It seems weird to get no reply?? Almost like she stopped being interested right away she agreed to see me again and gave me her schedule. Do girls really just cut off after that? Should I be worried (Because I am! She is insanely cute)
Now, if I get not response Sunday to Monday afternoon, do I call her and if she picks up, ask her out (again) that night? OR should I wait until two Mondays from now, maybe she has a lot on her plate if she is gone for a week?
TL;DR: | Girl, Bar, Number, Asked out, She agreed, Never finishes text conversation after telling me her schedule, hasn't responded in two nights. Beyond confused dying for a reply |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My [19/m] FWB turned gf (19/f) wants to be FWB again
POST: Hi all,
A few things before i start - this might get a bit long, so sorry in advance. Also, sorry for any formatting errors. And finally, my grammar might be really terrible at the moment.
Okay so, about 6 months ago i met a girl on Craigslist after i posted an ad looking for a FWB. We got along great and decided we'd become FWB's. After a while i started to really like her and get attached to her, i probably should have ended it or taken a break when feelings got involved but i didn't. Then a bit after that she started seeing someone and that's when i finally told her i liked her and that's when she told me she felt the same. We decided to give something more than FWB a go and it worked for a while **I feel at this point i should mention that a month or 2 before we met, she had just ended a 4 year relationship** I also don't know why i felt the need to put that in bold.
It worked up until a few days ago when she said she can't do "this" anymore and said she doesn't feel close to me anymore and wants to go back to being FWB's for a while. I guess the advice i'm after is whether or not you beautiful people think it's a good idea for me to take her up on the offer of going back to FWB's. I still really, really like her. I get jealous whenever i think of her with someone else so i'm worried that if we do that, i'll just be a jealous mess all the time.
TL;DR: | FWB turned gf wants to go back to being FWB, i really like her and want to keep seeing her but i am worried this might end in me getting hurt, what should i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21/M] was just cheated on by my girlfriend [26/F] and could really use some advice
POST: So, girlfriend and I have been together for just over a year, and the past couple months haven't been too great. We've fought a lot lately but honestly I thought I was going to marry this girl. I also lost my virginity to her so there's a pretty close connection there too.
This whole past week she said she wanted her space because we'd been fighting a lot. And so I gave her the space she wanted. I didn't really talk to her much or see her at all this week.
I was supposed to take her out on a date to this really nice restaurant tonight and we were just going out with our friends on our own last night. So that happened and then she texted me once she got back to her apartment and told me to come over. I went over there at 2am and that's when she proceeded to tell me she had slept with another guy 3 days ago.
I'm so beyond heartbroken. I honestly thought this girl was the one and come to find out that this happened. I don't even know what to do. I've never felt so low or so shitty about something in my entire life. What advice can you give me to help me get through this?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend who I lost my virginity to cheated on me 3 days ago and I just found out last night. I'm so broken right now. What advice can you give me to help me get through this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by attempting to mow the lawn
POST: I am a college student, and I'm home for the summer. Today, my mom asked me if I could mow the lawn. "Sure!" I replied enthusiastically. I proceeded to walk outside in just athletic shorts and shoes, deciding against a shirt due to the southern summer heat. We keep our lawnmower in a small shed behind our house. I pulled out the lawnmower, only to discover that some ants had decided to colonize it. Annoyed, I brushed off as many off as I could, and thanked the Lord that at least they weren't fire ants. I began to push the lawn mower towards the front lawn, when all of a sudden my right shin started to burn. I looked down, and saw about 8-10 bees with their stingers firmly planted in my leg. It dawned on me that I must've rolled over a nest. I quickly scraped the the bees on my leg off with my other foot, and took off running. As luck would have it, a bee decided to plant a stinger in the small of my back, right over my spine. I, being the genius that I am, was of course not wearing a shirt. Now, here I am, starting to doze off because of the Benadryl. I know full well that at the very least, I will have to go retrieve the lawn mower and gas tank from the bee swarm's clutches at some point. Fuck you, insects. Fuck you.
TL;DR: | Tried to mow my lawn, greeted by an ant colony and attacked by a swarm of bees for my troubles. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what's the most obnoxious thing you've done to get back at your roommates?
POST: Some context: I recently moved into an apartment on campus at my university. The school provides us with a roommate agreement form in which my roommates and I all agreed that the quiet hours would be from Midnight through 8am. However, one of my housemates wakes up at 6am to Skype with his girlfriend very loudly every single morning. We've all approached him about it several times asking him to quiet down until at least 8am, yet he continues to wake us all up at 6am every day.
Last night I decided to blast music at 10pm in a passive- aggressive attempt to get back at him. He had the audacity to tell me to turn it down. The way I see it though, if he's going to deprive me of sleep every day, I'm going to do the same to him. I am not a happy camper.
TL;DR: | Blasted music at 10pm last night to get back at my roommate because he talks obnoxiously loud early in the mornings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 32 M with my gf 29 F, 7 years together, i asked her 3 months ago to marry me, but i didn't take a clear answer yet
POST: Hello people
I am 32 and my gf is 29. She is the only child of her family and she lives just with her mother since she was 8. Now i live also with my father and here is my story:
So. We were 6 years together, each in a different city about 160km away. We were meeting 2-3 days per week in my house and it was fine. I had my job there and i was living alone, so we had our space. The rest days we were talking through internet. After a long time i reallised she won't move to my place permantly, because of her job and her mother, so i made a big step and found a job in her city, where my father lives. This happened a year ago. And i did that because i want to marry her.
So were closer now but we were not living together. We talked about living together but she was hesitating. Anyway i thought it was time to propose to her. Maybe this way she could realize that i want to live with her as a normal couple. So 3 months ago i asked her to marry me. Her reaction was a shock! She didnt expecting that. So i told her, ok take your time i know it is a big decision for you. 3 months now we are as always, i try to take an answer but she is still not sure. So a week ago i told her that we should take a break for a while and that i can't move on like this, until she makes it clear what she wants.
I love her and she has proved all these years that she loves me too. So what is wrong with the proposal and cant take a decision? Is it because she is the only child and lives many years just with her mother? Is it normal?
Before the proposal everything seemed just fine. I try to give her time but is reaaly hard for me and i dont know how long i can stand all this.
And i need your opionion
p.s. I know my english is bad, i hope you make sense
TL;DR: | I love her and i asked her to marry me. 3 months now and she didn't make it clear to me if she is YES or NO I CAN'T |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [TX] I was hit by a car while walking across an intersection with right-of-way. What are my options?
POST: Hello /r/legaladvice!
I've never dealt with anything like this, and I'm very much in need of some professional help. I am a 21 year old male, and I was recently hit by a car while walking across an intersection after getting the signal to cross. The driver turned left into me, at about 15-20 MPH. Fortunately, he pulled over and encouraged me to call the police, his excuse being that he was being unobservant. I have a witness who was at the adjacent crosswalk and saw the whole thing, and I have his contact info. The EMS told me that if the driver has car insurance (he does, I have the information), that my ambulance ride is covered by that.
I went to the ER, and got a few stitches in the back of my shoulder, but had no broken bones or head trauma. I was cleaned up and released in a few hours.
What are my options from here? I have very good health insurance, but I do not want to have to pay hundreds in medical bills for this.
Can I take this guy to court for anything? My biggest fear is having shoulder/joint/whatever problems later in life because of this.
I'm not sure what my options are here. I'm currently at university in Indiana as well (I had returned home to Texas for spring break), making things a bit more complicated.
I can post pictures if that would help with the severity of the case.
Again, I don't know how to go about this or even ask about it really, if I didn't include something important, please let me know.
TL;DR: | I was struck by a turning car in broad daylight with right-of-way and a witness. I want to make sure my ER visit and ambulance ride are covered, and even more what exactly my options are from here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Bf [26m] seems inexperienced with relationships and somewhat closed. Is it worth my [21f] time persisting?
POST: As a bit of background, we've been going out about 3 months now. Both weren't looking for a relationship but we had so much in common and enjoyed each others company so became fwb about 2 weeks after meeting, and pretty much dating from that point onwards.
I really like this guy, and in many ways he is absolutely ideal. However, our experience with relationships (even friendships) seem vastly different and this influences our attitude towards the relationship we have. We have both only been in one relationship prior to this (lasting 2 years). I think it would be easier to summarise the main differences in dot points so here goes:
Him:
- Seemed not particularly invested in past relationship, never confided much in the girl, never became particularly close.
- Hasn't had many close friendships, barely any friends til well into college. Relocated to my country and doesn't seem to have any very close friends, although he does have acquaintances and some friends
- Never discussed personal things with friends, confided in people. Prides himself in being independent and as a result doesn't seem emotionally tethered to people.
Me:
- Was best friends with my ex (whilst dating), had very intense relationship and knew each other better than anyone else. (I should add that this relationship wasn't that great in many ways and so I am not seeking to recreate this)
- Has had close friendships throughout my life and retain ties with people that I really connect with.
- Am relatively open and have always considered openness essential in close friendships/relationships.
TL;DR: | Am I correct in thinking that you need to be open with a partner? How do I help him open up to me? Or alternatively, does this indicate that the relationship is not going to work? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: My puppy just got out of surgery and can't sleep or walk around with a cone on her head [help]
POST: Hi there! I just got a dog from a neighbor. She's an 8mo old puppy who had never been to the vet. Yesterday I took her to get spayed and get all her vaccinations and whatnot. She's really out of it now. I have her on what I am assuming are some pretty intense pain meds, because my otherwise extremely high-energy dog is pretty lethargic and depressed seeming, as well as dizzy and nauseated acting. I can't take her on runs for the next week (and therefore can't take her to work -- I don't have a car, so she runs there with me) which I think she realizes and is pretty sad about. So she has to stay at home by herself all day.
The problem is, she's pretty dizzy, and can't really do much with the cone. She keeps running into things, and can't get on or off the couch or the bed when wearing the cone. She also can't eat or drink with it. Finally, she's so uncomfortable with it on that she can't sleep either. But I can't leave her alone without the cone because she absolutely will lick her stitches.
I have the ability to leave work for 45 minutes twice a day (12 hr workday) to go home and let her out to pee, but I'm mostly worried about her sanity.
TL;DR: | Any advice on how to keep her fed/hydrated/mobile/entertained while home alone and wearing a cone? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20F] Bestfriend [21F] Saved Nude Photos of my Boyfriend [20M]
POST: My bestfriend was at my house today and I left my phone in my bedroom while I was in another room, after she left I got an email notification for HER email. So I went to it and she had her account set up on my phone and forgot to remove the account, I saw pictures she sent to herself while she was over here, and they were of my boyfriend. So she went through my photos on my phone, and sent them to her email so she could save them herself.
I've never been this pissed off in my entire life and I don't know how to approach this situation. I don't want comments about sending nudes to each other being stupid, we've been together for over 3 years and we trust each other. What should I do? I think I need to confront her about it, but I don't want to say something in advance that could give her time to prepare for it. I kind of want to go on her computer/phone and see for myself if she has them saved, so I'd want to maybe ideally confront her while I'm at her house on her computer with her? So she doesn't have time to delete the pics/or hide them in some other folder or something. And do I have to tell my boyfriend? What do you think?
TL;DR: | My bestfriend signed into her email on my phone to send nude pictures of my boyfriend from my phone to her email. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: When do I [24F] tell the guy I've been dating [24M] that I have schizophrenia?
POST: I was diagnosed with schizophrenia about a year ago. I was seeing someone at the time and when I was diagnosed he completely ditched me after I told him the news. Since then I've been single and haven't even really thought about dating until I got this under control.
I've been on medication and going to therapy. I've been seeing another guy for a while now since I started and I really really like him. We have absolutely everything in common, and I'm kind of a weirdo so this doesn't happen often to me. We spend a lot of time together considering. But I know in time he'll start to take notice to my antisocial behavior, paranoia, and me just generally not making sense sometimes...
In the past I've had different reactions when I told those I cared about, none of them really positive. Either it makes people so uncomfortable that no one wants to talk about it, it freaks them out so they leave, or they become annoyed of my strange behavior/episodes if they witness it. So yeah, I've had no support on this. If the people that I've built relationships with for years won't support me through this, I can't imagine a romantic partner I've only known a short amount of time will.
I'm conflicted. I talked to a couple friends. One told me I should tell him as soon as possible so he knows what he's getting into or else he might be offended that I hid this for so long, another said I should wait because it's kind of a heavy subject and I shouldn't talk about anything until I'm comfortable with telling him.
I'm just so terrified of losing such a good bond and connection due to something that is not my fault at all. This illness is already so difficult for me as it is. Any advice would be appreciated...
TL;DR: | I have been seeing a guy for a while and I have schizophrenia. Not sure when is the right time to tell him about this. Or when's the right time to come out with this in general when dating someone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] just asked a 19/F out and she said not yet?
POST: So for the past month and a half I've been seeing a girl. Been on a couple of dates and we've been talking every day since. We've known each other for a year now and there has always been a bit of attraction.
However, we were at a Christmas party and she got really drunk and confessed all her feelings towards me. She told me that she had really strong feelings for me and she kept coming onto me. I was talking to her friends as well that night and he friends were just telling me to be careful due to her ex boyfriends having cheated on her and told me to ask her out because she was "crazy about me". I really do like this girl and about 6 months ago I came out of a 2 year relationship and I have been through traumatic relationships as most of my relationships have ended up on me being cheated on so which she knows as we have talked about our exes.
So after talking to her best friend and her convincing me it would definitely happen if I asked her out I decided to take her on another date. So last night we went out on a date and we ended up sitting in my car and talking for a while. She asked me what we were and so I pretty much asked her out and then she said not yet? She wouldn't give me a reason but she just said not yet? I'm now heavily considering cutting my losses and just accepting she actually isn't really that into me but when her friend talked to me this morning she just said I think she's a bit weary about being in a relationship. Any help or ideas would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Have been seeing this girl for the past month and a half and I know she likes me. Asked her out and she said not yet |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Legal Questions Regarding Minors Serving Alcohol (in NY)
POST: My friend is having her college sports team's formal in her apartment. She and her roommate are both under 21, as well is most of the other girls on the team. Normally when we have parties here we don't worry too much about the cops because everyone brings their own alcohol, no one would be held responsible. However, for the formal, a small group of the girls are collecting money and buying alcohol for the group to share.
In order to spread out the blame, another girl (not my friend) is collecting the money, while another girl is buying the alcohol. She also plans on staying completely sober during the party to make sure everything run smoothly.
As far as reasonable suspicion goes, we've never had any noise complains before (the pizzeria below us is plenty loud), but one of the girls on the team is bitter she isn't holding the party herself, which makes us a little worried.
My question is, can my friend be held accountable for serving alcohol in her apartment without a permit?
TL;DR: | My under 21 friend is hosting an alcoholic gathering in her dwelling. Can she be held accountable for serving [to minors] without a license? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18F] parents [50F 60M] are showering me with gifts bc I may die. What should I do?
POST: A couple months ago I found out that I have a cyst/tumor (doctors don't know 100%) on my brain and I may have to undergo surgery sometime next year to remove it. This news has been taking a toll on my parents. They feel like they have to give me whatever I want and then some to prove that they care for me. You'd think that all these gifts would be a blessing, but its come to the point where they're spending so much money on pointless things that I don't need that I feel overwhelmed and have no way in thanking them for it.
I know that they're scared that they may lose their baby girl. It kinda bothers me bc we never talk about the effects that this cyst may cause if it gets bigger (seizures, headaches, blurred vision) or the risks of the surgery I might have to have (cyst is in middle of brain) are so instead they're being the nicest as they can be. My family doesn't really talk about their feelings to one another so this is the only way they see they can show their love.
Obviously I'm scared about this whole situation. And being in and out of multiple neurosurgeon's offices looking for a solution is a little frightening. I don't know what my parents would ever do if I were to pass. What should I do to let them know I don't need gifts from them to prove their love for me?
TL;DR: | Parents are being overbearing with gifts bc I may have to undergo risky surgery. Seeking advice on how to tell them everything is going to be okay. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I'm sick of no one taking me seriously [M20]
POST: I'm sick of everyone laughing at me when I don't hear them properly. I'm sick of them calling me a 'baby' when they just look at me, I literally can't do anything without them calling me 'cute'. Does no one realise how embarrassing and humiliating it is for your 'friends' to call you 'cute' when you show any sign of emotion? If I show any sign of anger they call me sassy, I'm not friggin sassy I'm trying to get my point across that I hate being treated like a baby and that it's my natural face don't insult it by saying I look harmless. Yes I'm physically smaller and relatively skinny but so many people, even strangers, have said I look cute for the sole purpose of embarrassing me.
This is an update thread from this thread. I've tried acting more dominant but it's just not working. No one can take me seriously and everyone's making fun of me because of it. I'm in my first year of university and am hoping to make new friends next year even though I'm living with some of these guys.
TL;DR: | My 'friends' keep calling me cute and oblivious when I don't think they realise how annoyed it makes me feel. How can I stop this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: You're a fool.
POST: After knowing you since freshman year of high school, we've always been close. I've been there for you so many times, and vice versa. A few months ago when we were camping, I realized just how much I liked you. Something just clicked and it all made sense. I had been meaning to come forward and tell you how I felt. I mean, I didn't wanna tell you right away because you has just gotten out of a relationship at the time and I understand that.
But I finally tell you, after months and months, it all comes out. And, you tell me you feel the same way BUT, you're moving...1500 miles away to go live with a guy you met online, next month. I've been your best friend for, almost 5 years now, and you're just now telling me that you're moving away for some guy you've known for two months?
First off, he doesn't even have a job. He doesn't have his own place but will once you get there...because YOU'RE gonna be paying for all of it. Plus the fact that you haven't even Skyped with him or anything. You just text him and IM him on Facebook. S, you're smarter then that. And as much as it hurts to say this...I'm gonna love it when the "I to you so" starts happening.
I wanna tell you all of this, but I know it'll just turn into a big argument. So, I'm gonna let it go, and we're gonna watch a bunch of cheesy horror movies on the projector.
TL;DR: | girl I like a lot, who likes me back is moving 1500 miles away to live with some guy who doesn't even have a job that she's known for two months. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] meeting up with [21 F] for first time and i need advice on how to handle it.
POST: Hi reddit,
This is my most visited subreddit by far coz i love reading a post and the comments to see if i would have handled things the same way as the advice of the top comments say.
Onto Girl [21 F].
I met her 3 weeks ago when a friend who works in the international exchange programme in a university needed someone who speaks both english and the local language to ensure a smooth trasition from airport to student residence.
The group of students arrived individually and the last student was a very attractive tall blonde girl and we hit it off i feel. There was a little flirting (unless i made it all up...). That was that.
A few days later i added her on facebook (had her name from the student checklist haha creeper...)
We talked for a bit and i said we should grab a drink sometime. She said sure! Fast forward a week where i message her to invite her to this house party and asked her if shed like to go and she again says she.
Now, onto my problem.. I suck at dating and reading signals, knowing when do be straight forward, when to do stuff. So should I take the fact that she accepted to come to a party alone where she'd only know me as a clue that shes into me? How should I greet her when we meet up before the party? How should i handle things as the night goes in? I was thinking of asking her to have a drink in a bar before going to the party as it starts pretty late...
What do you think reddit?
TL;DR: | Meeting up with cute girl for first time, shes accepted to come to a party with me where ill be the only person she knows. Is she into me? How should i handl myself? Arrrrrgggg HELP |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What does this girl want in guys? What am I doing wrong that other guys do right?
POST: I am not a perfect guy, I'll admit that before I condescend upon others.
Also, I know the fact that she just doesn't like me is quite possibly all it boils down to however for the sake of this post I am entertaining the idea that it is more than that.
Now, here is what I have to say.
I met this girl a year back and soon fell in love with her. Things were going as expected, good, until I told her my birthday was coming up and she realized I was turning 18. She was a few years younger than me. However I was told this is not the reason. She was just getting over an ex. Which is understandable.
This is where I made a mistake, I remained friends with her. And having a friendship like this has only led me to self-lothing, anxiety, and impossible unfulfillable emotions.
So anyway we were friends for a while and in this while I noticed a pattern of the guys she dated. With one exception.
They are all high school athletes, popular in high school, younger than her, and in my opinion they are assholes. They use women for sex, naked pictures, etc. And when she is with someone like this it pisses me off. Also they have all cheated on her.
Anyway then there is an exception. He was her most serious boyfriend who I consider most like myself. Older (older than me even). He is the only one of her boyfriends I liked because I could tell he actually cared about her. His relationship with her developed through a close friendship, quite unlike how her other relationships began.
Anyway, this is a bit about myself to show how it compares and contrasts to what I have discovered. I am a college student, I am fit, muscular, and in shape, although I do not play sports. I was her best friend, and actually care about her.
I figured her choice in guys stemmed from being young and impressionable by "popularity" and other high school things. The guys she likes are well known, for good and bad.
TL;DR: | My feelings for her were too strong to remain just friends. So for my own benefit I stopped talking to her, seeing her, and essentially ended our friendship. I have learned many things about life through this process. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [25/F] with my ex [24/M] of 3 years, pet custody
POST: Back in October of last year, my boyfriend and I broke up. We had been together for quite a while. We got our husky puppy on my birthday. She's was my present. I had researched and looked online for months and months. I finally found her. She was the most adorable puppy, and I put a deposit on her of 250 dollars. My boyfriend said he would pay the rest (which was 400 dollars), and that she was my birthday present. We picked up the puppy and brought her home. I took her to her vet visits. I made sure she was up to date on all of her shots. I potty trained her. I got her groomed. I taught her to sit, stay, lay down, jump, speak. I even taught her to give me kisses after I fed and watered her. I love this dog like a child. She was AKC, so my boyfriend paid the registration fees, but I registered her in my name.
But as I said, my boyfriend and I broke up. I currently have no where to stay and I'm living with my mother. Unfortunately, her apartment complex does not allow animals, so I'm stuck in this situation until I can get a job. While I am in this situation, my ex has told me I cannot have the dog. That the dog is no longer mine. That I don't deserve anything of his. He will not even give me her papers where I have her registered. He has made it abundantly clear that if I do not get back with him that I will not have my dog. I am heartbroken over this, and I want to work this out. I just don't know what to do at this point. I know I may sound like a crazy person, but this keeps me up most nights. I cry, and I just don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice for me? Or any idea what I can do?
TL;DR: | My ex won't give me my dog or her AKC papers. The dog was my birthday present, and I helped raise this dog. I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Making a move on a guy friend
POST: Known this guy for about a year, when hanging out/watching a movie at a friend's we'd sit together and cuddle/hold hands. Im almost positive he's interested. He hasn't really made any other obvious moves and I think he's shy/doesn't have much experience because he's only had 1 girlfriend and that was 1.5 years ago. So I was planning on going to a secluded place after school (the two of us), smoke a bit, and get close enough to just kiss him. And coyishly say that I really like him (to separate me from a random hookup). So do you think it would work?
TL;DR: | like a close guy friend plan on just going for a kiss when alone with him. He's shown interest within the past week. Will it work/can I do this any better? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: M (28) needs advice on girlfriend (39)
POST: I've been seeing this woman for a while now on and off for about three years. She is divorced and had a pretty disastrous first marriage. We're of different nationalities too.
Initially, I only saw it as casual but slowly she started depending on me and I tried reciprocating and it ended up getting to a point where I felt responsible for her and took care of her.
She had also broken my trust once financially and put me out of a lot of money on a failed deal. But she owed up for it and is making repayments.
Now the thing is that she has asked me to marry her.
I'm not really sure what I want. My gut feeling tells me this is going to be a disaster later on. So I told it to her clear and its broken off. She is taking it pretty badly and I feel guilty and sad about that. And deep inside I think I actually love her but I'm not so sure.
It's just the fear that she might change her colours as she always does.
She is extremely paranoid about other women, I've also cheated on her once, but that was during a time of turbulence and technically we were broken up.
There is a glaring age gap between us. I'm attracted to her but sometimes it falters. It's mostly due to the fact that I am as paranoid as well sometimes. I feel nothing for her sometimes while we have sex but I have this whole lot of love and care other times. I am sure she loves me as well. She is ready to leave behind everything too.
I'm sorry for the confusing recollection but I've been feeling quite low.
TL;DR: | I don't know what to do with my girlfriend. I love her on one hand but I don't trust her enough out of experience. She isn't also doing her part. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (F23) fiancé (M24) (7 years) wants to sleep with other women. I have tried to be open to it, but I just don't think I can do it.
POST: We've been together for 7 years and are planning to get married in the next year or two. Our relationship is great other than this issue. We have fun together, rarely argue, have built a life together and have a bright future ahead. We were each other's first for everything. A problem in our relationship had been that he feels he is missing out by not getting to have sex with other women. He has been having doubts about getting married because of this. I have been trying to be understanding and open about it. We had a threesome a while back and we both loved it. It's something that I'd love to do in the future. After the threesome he told me that the urge to go out and explore was gone, but then he said that it's crept back up on him lately.
I just don't think I could let him go through with it without being hurt. It's got to do with a lot of my own insecurities. I've lost a lot of weight and I'm still losing weight, so that's a big issue. He has also said that he doesn't really find me 'sexy' even though he loves me, enjoys sex, couldn't imagine marrying anyone else, etc. He basically says that he's pretty sure I'm the one that he wants to spend his life with and I don't have to worry about him leaving me for anyone else, but he doesn't think that he would be happy if he couldn't have se with other women. I am trying to believe him, and even though he's never cheated and never given me a reason not to trust him, I'm still scared he'll like someone else better than me.
I don't know how to tell him that I'm not okay with him having sex with anyone else without me. I don't want to make him feel trapped (which he says he does sometimes) and make him ultimately leave me. I don't want to be the crazy, jealous girlfriend. I just want to be enough for him. I don't know how to make him be okay with not having an open relationship.
TL;DR: | Fiancé wants an open relationship despite me being okay with threesomes, I'm uncomfortable with the thought and don't know how to communicate it to him without sounding crazy, jealous, and possessive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 18[M] Afraid to talk to 18[F], who just admitted she loves me
POST: Me and this girl have, over the course of almost 3 years, sent 21,000+ messages to each other, long winding conversations, music we both love and poems we made. It first started before the end of Year 10, I met who I thought was the most beautiful girl at the time. Fast-forward a couple classes, class starts and she walks in to find that the closest available seat to her friends happened to be the one right next to mine. Previously we had to write a report on a role model and I decided to mine on Chris Martin (lead singer of Coldplay, i know what you're thinking but Parachutes was gold). She glances over my page and instantly recognises his name in the heading. I don't know if it was her recognizing my favorite music, the end of year feeling or the summer air but I instantly fell in love with her, that is, until my anxiety kicked in. My friends saw me conversing with her and were eager to surround me and ask, "Do you like ****?". I felt so discouraged and weak, I said "No way!" Being the shitty insecure guy I am, I added her on Facebook and never talked to her face to face again so that way no one would think I like her. For some reason it scares me to admit I like someone, its like I'm committing to them :/ I remember sending her vague love poems which were all just hinting my affection for her, it's only until now, the end of year 12 and 1 lame boyfriend later that she's reciprocating, that she finally understands what the poems meant. She told me she finally understands and essentially wants me through Facebook but I can't tell her I like her back without seeing her in real life and actually talking to her, but I'm too scared. What if I don't really love her? what if people laugh at me? what if I'm a shit boyfriend? I feel so weak and immature that I can't even make up my mind about this girl. She encourages me to do better and be a better person, she could be my life partner, help me get over my insecurities please.
TL;DR: | Girl likes me, I like girl, but I can only talk to her online when no one is around because I'm scared and insecure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] in love with a girl who is "to good for me"
POST: I know a girl who i am completely crazy about. We were together a short while some time ago. Since then i had gotten over her, but now she popped back up in my life and i immediately got strong feelings again. The problem while we were together could probably be summed up by me having some sort of inferiority complex towards her.
It's like i can't imagine why she likes me. She is smarter and more knowledgeable than me. And whilst she is very sympathetic and warm hearted, i believe that those first qualities are something she is looking for in a partner as well.
And i kinda feel like she must think more of me than what is truly there. Almost as if i have her fooled, thinking i'm much more "clever" (for lack of a better term) than i actually am. When i'm with her i try to live up to what i believe to be her expectations. And it creates a lot of tension.
I know she isn't the kind of person to pick her friends based on something like this. But at the same time i can't help but think that i'm bound to disappoint her eventually.
I don't know how to handle this. It's not really something i can talk to her about. I don't have any particular question to the community, but i would love to hear some thoughts.
TL;DR: | Girl i like is really smart. I believe she thinks i'm kinda smart to - but i'm actually not. Disappointment imminent. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: To text, or not to text! That is the question! [Me: 32, Her 25]
POST: I guess I want to use this more as a vote than an analysis but here's the quick and dirty!
Met a girl about a month ago and she's fucking awesome and we immediately start getting along amazingly. Talk every day, always tons of fun, hanging out together is a blast, goes on like this for about 3-4 weeks. The Friday before Thanksgiving, around the 20th, something suddenly changes and she is hardly talking to me and I definitely notice this. I wait until Monday and ask her what's up, she says she's bummed about winter and is feeling 'blah' and it's a real struggle to talk to her at all, I even offer a shoulder to lean on but she's hardly responding so I said hey I understand you're going through some stuff so let me give you some space? She replies "thanks, I'm really crappy." to which I say that you're not crappy and to just hit me up if you ever want to talk again.
I guess maybe it was an empty gesture on my part, because I really wanted to know more, but I made the gesture anyway! Silly me! It's been over a week now and nothing.
Normally I'm willing to let this situation just go, this stuff happens when meeting new people. Thing is I really liked her, she checked off all the right boxes for me! And quite honestly, at my age it's becoming really hard to meet girls that actually align with what I find attractive in a woman.
It's really bizarre to me that we were having such an awesome time together and she suddenly disappeared. Red flag? Probably. But I'm dying to know what happened.
So what do you think, is it pathetic to shoot her a text? Maybe a how's it going? Or a line like so I guess I'm never hearing from you again? I kind of wanted to try something casual and joking but those didn't work so well right before I offered her some space!
You guys the best!
TL;DR: | Met girl. Like lots. Great times together yay. Suddenly no talking, not yay. One last text: Yay or nay? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My mother [46 F] is being very pessimistic and It is maddening me [18 M] to the point where our relationship is failing.
POST: I live my mother in a two small suburban home. We don't have it
easy in the fiance department and that is all I have been hearing
about from her lately. The few minutes of time she has to talk to
me during the week are spent with her venting to me about how
we need to spend less and how everything is going tits up. I'm
trying not to go off on her but it is becoming increasingly difficult.
I really don't know what to do other than avoid her. That is what I did with my step mother before I moved out. My step mother was easy because I had the option to leave. But I don't feel I can leave my biological mother the same way.
What the hell do I do?
TL;DR: | Mother Is Pessimistic about our current living situation (money, house, ect.) and is venting and that bothers me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [me- F22 bf- M26] Is it normal to go through periods of not wanting to talk to or spend time with a S.O.?
POST: I [22f] have been in a relationship with my boyfriend [26m] for three years. I routinely go through periods where I feel mad at him for no apparent reason, feel like he is immature, and where I generally just don't want to spend time with him or talk to him at all. These periods last a couple days and occur maybe once a month. He'll ask to hang out and I just kind of go along with it but I'd rather sit at my home and watch a movie alone or something. I am really introverted and get exhausted after a day of talking to people all day at my job, so that could be the cause. Sometimes I will end up talking with him or visiting him but I just feel annoyed and wish I were alone or asleep.
I feel like in an "ideal" relationship the partners would always be up for spending time together, at least when they're not busy and it's feasible to do so. But sometimes at night I don't even want to respond to his texts and have a general feeling of contempt for him. I can't really decide why I would feel contempt, maybe it's the fact that I am far more motivated and less lazy than him, but that is another story.
Maybe someone can offer insight into this trivial dilemma of mine.
TL;DR: | I go through period where I don't want to talk to or spend time with my bf. Is this abnormal or am I fine? What do you think? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (26F) just found out my boyfriend of one year (or 3 yrs) (32M) has been cheating on me through reddit
POST: We were in a relationship on and off from 2011 and have been in a relationship for a year now.
I knew something was going on in our relationship recently because every weekends he said he was busy with work and family or he is sick because of allergy.
I met him only twice a month for the past two months. Even so, i was so blind and did not even think that he was cheating on me.
And this past weekend, he was totally out of touch for three days (Sat to Mon), so I thought he was breaking up with me.
Then again, on Tuesday, he contacted me saying that he lost his phone for the last three days and went in all details about how he found his phone. But he never answered to my question as to how/when he lost it and why he didn't contact me through different methods.
Next day, I was googling his reddit id and found his post on reddit. He posted pictures with him and a woman looking like a couple. The woman looked older than me (probably 29 or 30) and did not look particularly pretty.
I was so shocked but did not send any message to him yet because my guy friend advised me that going all emotional and ballistic will only make him feel good about himself and feed his ego. I didn't send any message to him since Wed and he hasn't sent any messages to me either.
Question here:
1. Do you think I should talk to him about this? (From my experience with him he always avoids me and ignore me whenever this kind of thing happens.)
2. Has he broken up with me? If so, why did he contact me again saying his phone was lost when he could have just ignored me all allong?
3. What is the best course of action that I should take? I feel so betrayed and don't want to do anything..I can't sleep at night and keep crying out of blue.
I will appreciate any inputs but especially want to hear from guys' perspectives. Thanks.
TL;DR: | i just found out through reddit that my boyfriend has cheated on me and I do not know what to do. I need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [24M] broke up with me [22F] as he wants to travel for four months - what do I do?
POST: I'm hoping for any words of encouragement or wisdom at this rubbish time!
Background: my BF and I have been together for a year (on and off seeing each other for two years before that and friends for 5 years).
A month ago he told me that he wanted to go backpacking with a friend for around four months. It was hard to hear, but I understood that after two years post-uni he felt like he needed to do something outside of his comfort zone.
Back in December we spoke and he said he wanted to stay with me during travelling. However insecurities etc. Have meant the last month has been difficult alongside the fact I've had my exams, he's been working 100+ hour weeks to pay for his travels.
On Monday he said he wanted to talk. I put on a brave face and said that I thought breaking up would be the best solution for both of us, but now I worry I was wrong. He made it clear that he hopes that when he comes back from travelling we can reunite and just be friends in the meanwhile, but I don't see how that will work.
I want to be with him and I love him deeply. I don't see as us breaking up will help our relationship.
Everyone has different views on LDRs but I struggle to see how I will heal during this time of "limbo" that he is suggesting.
TL;DR: | boyfriend and I broke up. Says he wants to get back together after four months travelling. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: How is your irresponsibility my fault?
POST: Context: I live with a married couple in a house on the outskirts of a town where there is lots of wildlife. We have three cats, and one of them is mine. I've been trying to move into a nearby city for several months with very little luck, and this week I've been losing sleep because I'm very close to having a place, but I won't know for several more days if I'm in or not. In spite of the obvious stress it's causing me (insomnia, stomach problems, etc), one of my roommates keep asking me for details about the place, even though I've told her multiple times I'll fill her in once I have all the details.
Yesterday my roommates opened the windows (which have no screens) in our house, and because no one was paying attention, my cat got out. I caught her rather quickly, and closed/locked the window she'd gotten out of.
Today, she got out again, because one of the windows hadn't been closed all the way. No one noticed she was out until I heard her jump the fence from the back yard to the front yard. Again, I spent the next several minutes hunting her down on my own. I would let my cat out regularly, but there are coyotes, foxes, and several birds of prey that would eat her in an instant.
As soon as I had her back inside, the roommate responsible for not shutting the window completely started making jokes about my cat is an escape artist, and wondered out loud how I'm going to keep her under control once I move into the city.
I very nearly came uncorked, but I'm trying to let this go until at least tomorrow; they're celebrating an anniversary and I'm not going to ruin their evening.
TL;DR: | My roommates' irresponsibility has lead to the endangerment of my cat twice in the last two days, adding to an already extremely stressful weekend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Should I bring it up or not?
POST: So I started hooking up (no sex, but everything but) with a girl, lets call her Tracy, a few months ago. I was very forward saying that I didn't want anything serious at the time. A few weeks later I started hooking up with another girl, lets call her Molly. So for about a month I would hook up with both of them pretty regularly. So one night Tracy said she wouldn't fool around that night unless I stopped hooking up with Molly. Of course I was pretty drunk at the time and said sure. Even that night I could tell she didn't believe that I was going to keep my promise. Of course the following week I again hooked up with Molly.
Natural Tracy stopped hooking up with me since then. The thing that I'm concerned about more is that she has pretty much taken to ignoring me even though we used to talk and have fun all of the time. Unfortunately this all happened about 6 weeks ago, and being the dumbass that I am, I just now realized that this incident is probably the reason for our strained communication. I want to talk to Tracy about it, but I don't think she'll be honest about it. Should I bring it up or just let it go?
TL;DR: | I told a girl I'd be with her when I was drunk and broke my promise and she now dislikes me. This was 6 weeks ago and I want to talk to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Current girlfriend[24f] found out about the gifts I[24m] made for my past girlfriends, now she is flipping out.
POST: Over the last 4 years I really got into art. I don't make any money off my work, but I like to do it after a long day of work as a way to relax before I go to bed.
I have drawn family members, friends, and my last two girlfriends. With my girlfriends, for an important relationship event, I would make a sketch for them. For example, after my last girlfriend's father died I drew a picture of her and him when she was little. The other sketch I made was a large portrait for my first girlfriend for our first anniversary.
The thing is, for the big sketches I did for my ex-girlfriends I spent like 40+ hours on it each. And the worst part of it all is that they are no longer in my life anymore. When I initially made the sketches for them, I truly thought the relationships would end in marriage. Now, I feel stupid and used after making the sketches for them. Especially considering how the relationships ended.
Cue current problem. I am now dating a girl and she loves my artistic side, which is great. She wanted me to draw her so she took some pictures with her friends and I ended up making a relatively quick sketch for her. She loved it… then she found out about the sketches I made for my ex-girlfriends…
Since then my relationship pretty much flipped on its head where she starts asking about my ex-girlfriends, as in what made them so special and if I really did love them. I did my best to explain to her exactly what I told you guys here, but she isn't seeing my side.
The way I see it is that I am not going to go out of my way to make extravagant gifts for a girl unless, a). She is my wife, b) she does the same for me. If my girlfriend gives me a $50 Best Buy gift card, I don't really feel compelled to spend weeks on making a sketch for her.
I don't know what else to really say here. I am in no rush to get married, and I don't want our gifts to be trades either. So where exactly do I go from here?
TL;DR: | Made my last two girlfriends really nice gifts, current girlfriend found out about it and is now insanely jealous, and our relationship is coming towards a breaking point. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm an [18m] who is batshit crazy about my sort of ex [17f] in a bad way. Very cringeworthy, but i can't stop
POST: Me and my SO dated for about two years before and we seemed to have a great relationship. She was amazing and put in 100% effort because she was ditsy and in love with me. I, however, was sort of an asshole sometimes and put in maybe 60% of the effort. Things ended in early April this year because I was a stupid guy and just acted on impulses.
Fast forward to these past couple weeks, we began talking again after multiple months of no contact what-so-ever (keep in mind, i was miserable during this time because i realized i fucked up) and we kind of ended up getting back together. Her intent was that we take things extremely slow and see how things turn out in the fall. Things were going well until some drama broke out here in my homelife and its been fucking with my head, and i kind of take it out on her.
She doesn't want her friends to know that we're sort of together yet because she doesn't really know how things are going to work out and i respected that until the drama at home happened and suddenly it just doesn't make sense. I feel as if she is embarrassed or ashamed of me and i keep constantly asking what i can do to make her happy and ditsy like the old her. I feel like now im putting in 150% and she is putting in 70% and i've been going crazy. She just left my house after a long talk and it came down to im being crazy and i need to relax and she is no longer in love with me, she just loves me but is willing to work until i can sweep her off her feet.
TL;DR: | I dated a girl, i ended things because i could, sort of back together, i'm bat shit crazy about her in a bad way. Very cringeworthy |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M18] promised my girlfriend [F19] not to look at porn.
POST: I love my girlfriend a lot. We've been dating for over 5 months. We are perfect for each other. She means the world to me, and we are pretty serious.
But there was this one time before we were going to sleep and we were talking that she asked me--kiddingly--when the last time I had masturbated was. And I didn't want to lie to her, so I told her it had been that weekend, and the fact that it had been the first time in a month. And when I told her this, I could tell she was hurt, and I felt terrible. And for me, there is no sensation that hurts worse than knowing I hurt her feelings. I tried to tell her how she was the only girl I'd ever want to do stuff with, but she still seemed so hurt.
So the next day I promised her that I would never masturbate to porn again, and she responded by saying I could do whatever I want. I realize now that I may have made a mistake because we aren't always able to do sexy things (college) and we will live several hours away from each other for 3 months this summer (also because of college). I've been good so far, I haven't masturbated to porn and it's been over 2 months since. And it's not like I was a porn addict or something, I looked at it once a blue moon. What should I do? I don't want to break my promise, but most importantly I don't want to hurt her feelings.
TL;DR: | I made a promise that I wouldn't masturbate to porn that's hard to keep, but I really don't want to hurt her feelings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The girl I've been with for about a year and a half has had a huge personality change. What do I do?
POST: Basically whats happening is that after a year and a half of us knowing each other, being together, sharing secrets and what I thought was genuine happiness this girl just supposedly stopped.
A few days ago I started seeing her less and less of her. And about two days ago she told me that she just flat out doesn't like me anymore. I don't know what to do because I still have feelings for her. She told me today that she goes after guys who give her attention and make her feel good. I asked her if that's why she stayed with me the whole time or if she actually liked me. She said she didn't give a shit whether or not she really liked me.
This is really freaking me out because everything up until about last Tuesday has been perfectly fine. She has had this huge change in attitude and every time I try to talk to her she shuts me down and goes to do something else.
What do I do reddit? Should I go on the offensive and figure it out or what. I really have no idea what I should do here.
TL;DR: | Girl I knew over a year has had a huge change in who she is and says she doesn't care whether or not she liked me for real. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I screwed up Reddit, help please!
POST: I am a long time lurker, finally asking for some advice. Ill keep this as short as possible. I have been with my SO for 3 years. We are happy, and in love, and get along great for the most part. We have had our bumps in the road like all relationships. About a year ago, we got into some info about our past sexual experiences, and this didn't go down very well. There were some feelings hurt (his) and in the end, I ended up lying to him about one of them. I lied because I didn't want to deal with the fallout. I felt that none of it really mattered because it was my past and not an issue in the here and now. However, in the time since the lie started, I was asked repeatedly about it, and every time I lied, I swore on some serious stuff. (our relationship, our kids, etc) I feel awful for what Ive done.
So last weekend I came clean about it. I told him the truth and that I had been lying. He is obviously hurt, broken hearted, and very angry. I dont expect any less. Also, his manhood was a bit bruised by the info. So because I swore on all of the most important things for so long, he feels he has no way of knowing if I am telling the truth now, because I have no way to prove it to him.
I dont know what to do. I am being open and honest with him now, but he isn't sure that I will be able to regain his trust. Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | I lied for a year about a past sexual experience and swore on our relationship. I came clean but need advice on repairing the trust. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not understanding Snapchat stories
POST: So, this is actually my roommate's fuck-up, but it's too good not to share. At our 4th of July party, it's pretty late and we're all pretty drunk. We've been on a kick of enjoying the [Fuck Her Right In The Pussy guy] recently, and Roommate 1 wanted to make a Snapchat story of Roommate 2 interrupting various "news stories" with the now-famous quote. We spend the next 20-30 minutes recording R2 interrupting people and make a solid Snapchat story, and then continue with our night.
Next morning, we wake up and remember doing this and start laughing about it, and we all go to Snapchat to relive the moment. None of us can find the story, so we ask R1 if he posted it. He responds with yes, but he set it so his 9-year-old cousin wouldn't be able to see it. We then ask him if he's sure he set it so the cousin wouldn't see it, or if he accidentally set it so she was the only one who would see it.
After 5 minutes and a deep dive into Snapchat's settings, he sadly confirms that he made a story of R2 saying "FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY" multiple times and set it so only his 9-year-old cousin could see it.
It's been almost 24 hours and no one from R1's family has called him out on it or anything, so we're hoping he's out of the water...but we've been laughing about it all day and he won't be living it down for a while.
TL;DR: | made a Snapchat story of roommate yelling "FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY" and sent it to 9-year-old cousin only. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Issues with school and where I live. What should I do?
POST: Okay, I will try to keep it as short as possible.
My issues with school are that I am not motivated to attend class. It isn't exactly what I was thinking it would be. I am interested in the subject, but it hasn't lit a fire under me or anything. I don't look forward to attending lectures, completing assignments on time if even at all, etc.
I am one and a half years into a four year program.
My second issue is that I don't like where I live anymore. I grew up in this city and I've just found that as time passes I find myself wanting to leave more and more. I have no friends (literally) in this city and nearly my whole family is estranged from me. The only person that holds me to this place is my boyfriend.
I've had starry eyes for another place entirely. I still want to go to school, but I feel in confident at this time because of my lack of motivation and sort of "lost" feeling. I also don't have a great job so money is always an issue.
So I'm basically seeking advice on what I should do. I haven't invested a lot of time and money (as far as university goes) into school so in my mind I can justify changing programs. As I mentioned money isn't the greatest so I am scared to move away and lastly, I haven't the slightest idea on how to plan for something like this. I don't know where I should look, if I should try to lock down a job, etc.
For terms of scale on the move that I would like to make:
I live in Ontario in Canada. I would like to move to either Alberta or British Columbia. It's like basically going across all of Canada.
Anyways, literally ANY advice will help me. Thank you very much.
TL;DR: | I am not motivated in my program and I want to leave my city. I need advice on what I should do about these issues. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Having A Terrible Time Getting Over My Ex.
POST: I will start with the finer details. I hope it doesn't end up being too long winded. She is about to be 23 and I am about to be 27. Back in November I took this girl on our first date. She slept over that night and so the story begins.
Soon after she had all of her stuff in my apartment. I didn't mind at all because I was/am ready for a serious relationship. She asked me about a week later why I haven't asked her to be exclusive so I did, and it was all down hill from there.
The relationship itself wasn't bad. Sex was amazing, she was a model so obviously attractive. I let her stay with me for free. Bought her everything she needed. Did everything she asked of me. I was what you would call the perfect boyfriend.
But she still had party girl tendencies left in her. I guess it got to her eventually that I wasn't a partier as well. Either way, she wanted to move to Manhattan, which I had no problem with, if she didn't ask if we could split it 80/20. I was sceptical and she took that as me not wanting to move out of my own town. She left me. Every time I tried to talk sense into her she called me crazy and dramatic. It annoyed me to no end that I could do everythign for this person to to have it thrown back into my face.
Fast forward about a month of me missing her, missing the sex, missing sleeping with someone every month. She calls me just to tell me that she is talking to someone. Just as I was starting to feel better, she has to reintroduce herself into my life.
Last night she calls me and tells me basically she misses sex and is tired of mediocre sex with this other dude. Why the HELL would she tell me shes having sex with someone else. Shouldn't it be an unwritted rule to just not say shit like that? Either way, I don't even think of other girls. I just can't get this girl out of my head and it's really starting to get to me.
TL;DR: | I need help getting over a girl who took comlpete advantage of me, made me feel like I was good only for sex and my money. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I don't know if this goes here, but I need some help with this.
POST: Hey AskReddit! I need some help concerning an issue that has recently come up in my life. My father is a Southern Baptist preacher, and I am a agnostic with neo-pagan tendencies. I decided to be what I am instead of pretending to be a Christian when I was 16. Because I was still in high school, my father and I had some rows, but we got through them together and now he fully accepts me for who I am. As you can see, this is not the issue I have difficulties with.
When I was 17, my father's church started struggling, specifically in it's youth (7th to 12th grade) department. The youth "minister" was a dick to all the kids, and some of the elders of the church blamed it on the kids, saying that they weren't responding well to the "minister's" "selfless" services. Being the Good Guy Greg I am, I thought that if he saw that someone in the youth trusted him, he might stop being such an asshole. So, in confidence, I told him about my religious preferences. Nothing changed, and he resigned as the youth minister a few weeks later. However, as soon as he was out of the youth ministry, he began petitions against my father saying that he was unfit for the position of pastor. His reasoning being that if my father could not "raise his kids right, then he will not be able to lead others."
Several months have passed since then, but his petition has grown in strength and my dad is at serious risk of losing his job. Is there anything I can do to help my dad out? Thanks guys. Ya'll are awesome.
TL;DR: | I was naive and told a douche-bag christian about my religious preferences, and now my pastor father may lose his job. What do?* |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Ive been seeing a girl with a boyfriend, need advice please.
POST: The manager and me at my workplace are really flirty and friendly, smacking butts playfully and such and i make her laugh constantly, shes got a great personality. the only thing is she has a boyfriend that also works at our workplace.
Last week i went on a walk with her and told her i liked her, to my surprise she said she liked me too and later that night we talked for hours and were making out for a long time. Since then we have had nights like these three times, the latest involved oral sex for both of us (fucking amazing), we were talking and sharing everything with each other that night aswell.
Getting to know her I realise I love this girl, its killing me that she has a boyfriend. She is currently thinking over her situation on whether or not she stays with her boyfriend or leaves him for me. She is conflicted with bad feelings for cheating, but it seems she likes me enough to forget those feelings.
Its killing me the waiting, does anyone have advice regarding what i could do to win her over? I know that im being a bad person in doing this but i love her so much, please dont hate i just want some advice please. Anything i could do to win her over or if i shouldnt try.
TL;DR: | I love a girl with a boyfriend, she likes me aswell and is contemplating whether to stay with him or date me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] with my friend [21F], just after a break-up.
POST: So she broke up with her bf a bit over a week ago ...she's been emotionally cheating with me for at least 6-8 weeks. About 5 days after she broke it off it just so happens we're making out and doing relationship-y stuff (this has been a long time coming though) however a couple of days later we decide to wait on it so she can be single for a while (she needs to do this for herself).
Anyway she definitely has feelings for me and she's already suggested we watch a movie together, this will be happening in about a week and a half which is approximately how much longer she said she might need for herself. It'll just be me and her at her place, what would be your intentions in this situation? We've talked about how we both don't want this to just be a rebound fling.
TL;DR: | Bit after break up, we're having a movie night at hers? We have a bit of history so it's not just a typical 'rebound' situation. Should I just be there as a friend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to kill a snowman.
POST: I don't know if anyone else does this. My friend and I were on our way home from a long day and a long road trip; needless to say we were delusionaly tired. We turned on a street and there was a snowman in the yard of a guy we know. We both looked at each other and I was like "Dude you want to smash it?" She pulled over and was like "Fuck yeah." So we ran up to it and proceeded to break our legs trying to smash this fucking ice man. So we left. Then I was like "Let's get shovels and go back" Bad fucking idea. We're both enablers so neither of us say no to pretty much anything. So we go back and start hacking it with the shovels. Then all of the sudden I hear a door close and my friend, "DUDE RUN, GET IN THE CAR." So I ran back the car and as fate would have it I slipped and almost fell as this guy was chasing us. So I get up and fumble my way to the car (I'm wearing dress boots with no tread); I literally got one foot in the car and my hand on the handle and she floored it. I thought I was going to die. So the entire time I was like "HOLY FUCK I'M GOING TO FALL OUT OF THE CAR AND DIE." Once I got in the car, we looked at each other and said we're never going to so that again.
TL;DR: | Tried to smash a snowman, turned out to be ice. Got shovels, man chased us, almost literally died. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25/F] constantly worry i'm going to lose my bf [27 M/] of 3 years.
POST: I realise that i'm insecure, i try not to be but i always worry that my bf is going to leave me. He has improved my life massively since meeting him 3 years ago and i feel like if he was to leave me now i wouldn't want to live anymore.
Before he met me he used to travel a lot and i know he's slept with a lot of girls and i worry that he misses being single and working abroad, just last month his friends were talking about going to Spain on a guys holiday and he told me he wasn't going to go because they would be drinking a lot around girls and that it wouldn't be fair to me if he went, which is sweet of him but i know he really wants to go.
My friends don't help my insecurities, one of my friends flirts with him all the time and one night when he dropped her home she invited him into her flat to watch a movie, which i felt was very inappropriate. Another of my friends openly admits that she's attracted to him and always gets dressed up if she knows my boyfriend is going to be around and it makes me uncomfortable cause i knows she's more attractive than me. Also his ex is beautiful and she still messages him occasionally and it seems like she wants him back, she's the only girl apart from me that he's ever loved and i know i could never compete with her looks wise and i worry that he misses her.
How do i get over my insecurities? Part of me wants to get pregnant so he would be less likely to leave me but of course i would never trap him. Do i just accept that my boyfriend will inevitably leave and enjoy being with him for as long as i can?
TL;DR: | I feel that my bf is too good for me and will eventually leave, i think he misses being single and better looking girls than me are interested in him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How can i [19M] tell if my crush [19F] still has some feelings for me?
POST: This has been going on way to long and its been driving me a little crazy but i feel like i either do something now or just walk away.
Ive had a crush on this girl for 5 months. Shes amazing, and we get on really well. we are really similar and ive never felt so close to someone before.
Anyway, about 4 months ago at a party we kissed and then a couple days later we talked and i told her that i liked her, she said that she liked me but there was another guy who she wanted to be with.
I tried moving on, but none of the girls that ive met since have been as cool as her. Also since then we've become really really close friends. Two months ago she broke up with her bf.
I didnt really consider doing anything because i liked having her as a friend and didnt want her out of my life if she rejects me. however my mate was talking to her and she told him some stuff that he said he wouldnt tell me but said that "i was on the right track" if i wanted to go there whatever that means.
Knowing that she might still have some feelings for me, makes me hesistant to walk way from this, because no matter how great it is being friends i also have feelings for her.
How can i tell if she still has feelings for me? any signs or something ahah.
Have no idea really what is should do and need some help making a decision as to what my next move should be, all i can think of is getting my mate drunk and try to get him to tell me what she said haha. any advice would be great.
TL;DR: | Mate said my crush might still have some feelings for me. How can i tell if she does and what should I do in this situation/ |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [21 M/F] of 1 year: She loves me but likes another guy
POST: My job started taking up a lot of my free time. I guess while I was busy my gf made a new friend. They started hanging out a good deal, and then she developed feelings for him. The past few weeks she has seemed really confused, even though she still calls and texts me and wants to hang out with me. Yesterday she came over crying and told me how she felt. She told me she loves me and sees herself with me forever but it isn't fair for her to be with me and like another. She said she needed to figure it out. I told her to take some time to be alone and think, and to call me when shes ready to talk. This situation had been tearing us both up for a couple of weeks now. Both of us were losing sleep.
Is this a situation where our relationship is doomed? Can I do anything about this? I dont want to lose her, and apparently she doesn't want to break up either.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend loves me but likes another, says she can't be with me until she figures it out because its not fair to me |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[15 M]need help motivating my girlfriend[15 F] of 1 year to study/do her work for school
POST: My girlfriend is a very smart person. She's completely capable of taking all the hardest classes and getting A's in all of them. But now she's falling behind in school because she doesn't study or do homework. It's because she thinks it's too late to bring her grade up and she lacks the discipline to not go on the internet or draw. I don't know why she thinks it's too late but I think she lacks discipline because of 2 reasons
1. In middle school even when taking the most difficult classes you never really needed to study and still get an A.
2. Her parents never have been happy for her when she gets an A or does just about anything that would make any one else's parent super excited.
Her grade dropped in 8th grade too but it was just because she didn't do homework not because she didn't study. She was motivated mostly by her very friendly teachers. But sadly while her teachers are good they don't form the same bond with students as they did in 8th grade. When she was motivated though, she was motivated. She always did her work right after school and was always excited to hand it in. I just really want to try to get that back and help her keep it this time.
TL;DR: | GF isn't studying/doing homework and says there's no time left to fix her grade. I really need help motivating her to get back on track. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The gym is my boyfriends [M,31) life, I (F,24) spend most nights by myself (4 yrs) Not sure how to handle this anymore
POST: We have been living together for 6 mo's. I used to work at the gym until 10pm and he usually would be getting there around 8pmand spending most of his night there. It did not bother me the first 2 years of our relationship. The past 2 years I have been working a full-time job 8am-5pm so i prefer to be home at a reasonable time (before 9). He however has not stopped spending all evening at the gym with his guys. They often go out for beer and food afterwards. I do go out a few times a week but I get home at a decent time and he's still gone. When I don't go out I am at home alone for on avg 3-5hrs with his dog. The 1-2 hours I see him at home before he leaves for the night he is busy setting up daily fantasy line ups. I really get no "down time" or quality time with him. Am I being needy or am I a being totally reasonable when I want him to start cutting down time at the gym or going earlier so I can talk about or day/life ect. And yes, we have had this talk and he cares for about 1 day and a day later goes back to spending all his time at the gym/out to eat with the boys. I worry if we ever got married and had children I'd be home all night with the kids while dads busy being in shape and keeping in touch with friends. Does anyone have advice on how to handle this?
TL;DR: | The gym is my boyfriends [M,31) life, I (F,24) spend most nights by myself (4 yrs) Not sure how to handle this anymore |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: F21 Trouble communicating "No" with an SO--not as dramatic as it sounds
POST: First Reddit post, so here goes.
Premise: F21 in relationship with M20. In college, I know I'm stressed which is certainly affecting the mental state.
Problem: This is my first relationship, his second. He keeps wanting to move physically fast. I let him try a few things, but I've finally got it set in my mind that I'm not ready to do what he's asking (I'm open minded and didn't want to immediately say no to everything, which I would have--that isn't fair). I've told him no, and he really shut down and said we'd take it slower.
That lasted less than a week, and he's already back to ramping up the speed again. I'm recovering from some long term anxiety issues, and I already have trouble balancing time for myself, how much he wants to hang out, and my work load. I know it'll be hard for him to go slower after I've given him some leeway, but I can't emotionally handle the physical, if that makes any sense.
TL;DR: | How do I tell him he's moving too fast and we need to slow WAY down without hurting his feelings/completely destroying the relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Can a former employee solicit her competing business to our customers legally?
POST: I live in CT and work for a grooming salon within a corporate pet supply chain.
A former employee of the salon has opened up her own grooming salon up the street (done so purposefully since she has bragged about it) and is now coming into our store and handing out her business cards to any grooming customer she sees.
We've been told by regulars that she has mailed them out coupons. This suggests that she may have taken customer information before leaving the company.
What I'm wondering is if it's legal for her to come into our store and take our customers? She has been caught stealing from us and won't come in when certain managers are around. She also sends her employees to hand out cards as well.
TL;DR: | Former employee is soliciting her business at our store. Openly telling people not to use or grooming services. Is it legal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Me and my 2 sisters had drug and alcohol fuelled sex on vacation.. (NSFW)
POST: my younger sister and I share this account.
One younger, one older. We decided to all pitch in and rent a little cottage out in the middle of nowhere for 1 week and just hang out. then we got bored and just wanted to get drunk or whatever.
But..
We literally did not sleep at all and ate very little for 5 days. I can hardly remember what happened. All I remember is a lot of drugs, drinking and sex. Sex. With my sisters. We're not even the least bit ashamed about it though. It's so weird, we just don't care. I don't even remember how it started or who initiated, but I had sex with both of them individually AT LEAST 15 times each. It couldn't have been any less than that.
There has to be at least 50 photos just on my phone alone and 11 videos of us performing sex acts on each other. And what's weird is, none of us care. We liked it when we were high as fuck on meth and cocaine, and we like it now. I live with my younger sister and we still have sex regularly. My older sister Comes over every weekend to visit us and our mom, and we still have sex. (when my mom isn't there of course)
But the bad part is, we made some into gifs and uploaded them TO THIS WEBSITE lol like /r/gonewild, /r/incest and others.. I forget. But We. Were. Messed. Up. And they're still up online.
TL;DR: | went on a 1 week getaway with my sisters, a drug binge, had copious amounts of sex with them and we're still normal around each other. No awkwardness. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my girl friend [23 F] of 6 months: I somewhat said my major is harder than hers.
POST: We were talking about summer classes, which are notoriously hard. I was talking about how I can't do 12 hours next summer (2 classes in each mini semester) because they are hard. She had taken one summer class for her major (art, it was a upper level drawing class) and said summer classes are a breeze. I said my classes ( upper level business and management) will have more material to cover and that I've heard on every account that summer classes are not a breeze. She then said that I think my classes are harder to which I replied that there is more material to cover basically claiming that yes, they are harder. She is saying that she has worked very hard! I am very aware of that. I told her that I'm sorry for thinking her class was easier, that I don't think her degree is easier, and that I'm sorry if it came off like that.
She is upset with me and thinks that I don't think she works as hard and is taking an easy major. That I hold my self higher. I don't think any of this, I didn't put too much thought in what I was saying.
What do I tell her to make her trust that I do in fact know she works just as hard as me?
TL;DR: | Made a stupid remark saying my business degree is harder than her art degree. I want to retract and her to believe me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27 F] am worried I made the biggest mistake of my life leaving my boyfriend [26 M] of almost 3 years
POST: I broke up with my boyfriend about 3 weeks ago.
We broke up in the past once before. I dumped him because I felt he wasn't motivated enough and didn't do enough in life. I also unfortunately started dabbling in opiates and wasn't sure the break up wasn't influenced by my clouded thinking.
We got back together and I started taking suboxone. The only issue was I couldn't get off of it and have become physically dependent. I started seeing a counselor for a few weeks but ended up not being able to afford it. Although I have been seeing a psychiatrist I started slipping pretty bad. He knows about my past substance abuse and the suboxone.
Initially when we got back together things were really great. We worked hard to keep a clean and orderly home. Listened to each other and compromised. He even went out of his way to make me feel special and started doing little nice things to make me feel appreciated.
But i got really depressed and I started sleeping all the time and not eating. When i wasnt at work I was asleep. This bothered him, I could tell, and he really began to pull away. I felt like a nuisance and I felt unloved. And I broke up with him
It's been three weeks and he is all I think about. He didn't want me to leave and honestly, I don't think I really wanted to either.
I don't know what to do. I know that being depressed can cloud anyone's thinking, but I don't know if I made the right decision. He was my world. And he still is. I just want to vomit this hurts so much.
I'm sorry if this is the wrong sub. I don't have anyone to talk to. I just miss him so much.
TL;DR: | not sure if my depression caused me to break up with my boyfriend or if I made the right decision. I don't know what to do. Should I reach out to him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Does this count as cheating? Need some clarification
POST: Hey everyone,
As on Monday, things between an ex girlfriend and I had ended on what I thought at that point was due to the academic challenges that we would face because of the start of college. Really, the academic excuse seemed very false the next day, as I noticed she left her facebook account on my ipod and had also got a message from a guy she had hung out with on the Friday before the break up rather than even contacting me.
Out of this conversation from the last week of our relationship, one thing stuck out to me the most. First, the guy said he wanted to hook up with her, but said she knew she had a boyfriend (me) and didn't wanna do anything because of it,the ex then went on to say I respect you for that. But then said "Exactly. Lol. But can I be honest with you? At first, before I really knew any of you guys, I was kinda interested in Nate, But now you and I have gotten to be close and I just don't know how I feel about anyone. And I don't wanna do anything rational because tomorrow, I will be single."
From that, I basically got that she was interested in 2 other guys in the span of a week, and even openly told one of them. To be honest, I feel like that is cheating on me in someway, such as an emotional affair or whatever it may be. Regardless, am I right in feeling I was cheated on in some way? I'd just like to know as some clarification.
TL;DR: | Found ex's convo, said she's interested to a new guy on FB in a chat convo during the last week of our relationship, is this cheating? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] waited to long to make a move on [17 F], she's now gone no-contact.
POST: Here's the back story (I have posted parts of this before, you may recognize it).
I've known the girl for about a year or so, but we became a lot closer earlier this year. (she texted me out of the blue one day asking if I wanted to hang out, it snowballed quickly from there). She gave me all the signs that she wanted to date, literally, everything she did around me is like a flag that says 'date me please'.
We've hung out a few times, coffee, book stores, going to eat, even going over to her house for an entire day and watching 12 hours of movies.
To make a long story short, I waited too long to make a move. After she got back from a month long trip overseas, I went over to her house and had a wonderful evening with her family. However, I didn't ask her out.
Shortly after this, she stopped talking to me. This was strange to me as we had been friends for almost a year. I texted her one evening and she eventually told me out of nowhere she has a date lined up.
After my initial shock, I spilled everything and my feelings for her. Turns out she did love me too, but she thought I wasn't interested and "looked elsewhere".
I'm hurt. Broken. And depressed. The girl of my dreams was in my grasp but I let her get through.
This was exactly two weeks ago. I left her flowers and a very nice letter detailing my feelings for her (plus a little gift). I got a text thanking me, and that's it. No contact since.
I was best friends with this person for almost three months, constant texting and talking. Now just nothing. Her birthday is coming up and I'm confused as to what to do, I'm not ready to move on just yet. The guy she went out with is moving 1000 miles north for school in two weeks too -- that relationship won't last.
Confused on what my next steps should be, I don't want to lose her.
TL;DR: | Waited too long to make a move on girl, she moved on to another guy that I know she won't date for long. Wondering what I should do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: The fire/smoke alarm in the apartment below me has been going off for close to 48 hours now, swiftly going from minor inconvenience to major problem. What can I do?
POST: So, for the last 2 days there has been an alarm going off in the apartment below mine. It's the model apartment for the community, so nobody lives there to shut it off. The high pitched continuous tone essentially sounds like an alarm clock and even though I've submitted multiple emergency maintenance requests and spoken to the office/maintenance staff in person they haven't bothered to replace the battery or whatever it is that's causing it to ruin any chance I have of sleeping. So, it's come to this: I can't wear earplugs, as I would not be able to hear MY alarm then, and I don't have noise canceling headphones that will stay on long enough for me to get sleep. Yesterday it was a minor inconvenience, I could at least cover my head with pillows to drown it out and pass out for an hour or two while possible, but at this point it's going to affect my workday. Is there any recourse for this if it keeps going on? Can I go in there looking like Jack and Tyler Durden demanding to be compensated for every hour it has been going off? Or should I just call the cops and tell them there is a fire and they need to come check it out?
TL;DR: | Alarm going off in apartment below mine, no one lives there to shut it off and the office can't/won't. Can I do anything about it besides complain? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex (23f) and I (23M) broke up about 2 months ago
POST: We were dating for about 3 years and for the first 2 and a half years it was amazing.. but we moved in together and it seemed like everything went to hell. We were always fighting and arguing and near the end I was looking forward to going to work because it would get me away from her. I knew the relationship was toxic and bringing me down. It was really a mutual breakup and neither one of us really resented or was mad at the other.
Here comes my dilemma. I recently found out (again, 2 months later) that she is dating someone else now. I have been completely fine for the entire breakup, I go out regularly, hang out with my friends, and have had a romantic partner (but nothing more than sex, no emotion). All of the sudden, since finding out she is with someone else, I miss her to no end and I feel like I want her back.
I can calm myself down by reminding myself how unhappy I was with her at the end and how our relationship actually brought out the worst in both of us. Just looking for some advice on how to sort of get okay with the fact that she is dating someone, and maybe if we should stop talking and communicating all together. We still talk from time to time.
TL;DR: | Broke up with my ex and was fine until I found out she was dating someone else. Now it bothers good. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Girlfriend [34F] got really emotional when I [24M] got enthusiastic about sex, sex toys, exhibitionism, etc.
POST: She's asian and pretty inexperienced sexually. I've spent most of my sex-active life exploring all sorts of stuff - fetishes, munches, toys, positions, etc. We went to a sex shop together - she was pretty comfortable with it and we had a great time looking over stuff and talking about what the toys are for, etc. Lots of giggling and fun.
Then we got to the lingerie section and she suggested having a pajama party with friends to break in our new apartment. I was really surprised and delighted that she would suggest this. So I asked her if she'd ever be ok with having sex in front of other people, just out of curiosity. She then got kind of quiet and closed off, and when we talked about it she got tears in her eyes from the thought that I'd be interested in having people watch us have sex.
I'm having a little trouble understanding why she feels that way (I didn't want to poke and prod at the situation because we JUST got over a pretty low low in our emotional roller-coaster) - so I'm looking for input from anyone else that might be able to shed some light on this response.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is comfortable in the sex shop until I ask if she's into exhibitionism. She got very upset that I would even consider it. Trying to understand why. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 29.9m, 27f, ex 31f, question on ex-etiquette
POST: Current relationship is almost a month old, after 10 of pursuing as friends. Ex relationship was ~2.5 years, ended something like 3 years ago.
It may happen, at some point in the next few months if I had to guess, that my current gf and ex will meet. If it were to happen, it would most likely be planned. The gf has expressed passing interest in it, and the ex and I are on good, just very casual, terms. The ex doesn't know I have a gf.
My question comes from physical attractiveness. The ex is, not to be cruel, probably a 2-4 objectively speaking, while the gf is a 9-10. How do I deal with potential hurt feelings, self-consciousness, etc. of the ex? Or should I just not worry about it (I know, by default, not to bring it up; I'm not completely braindead....)
TL;DR: | New gf is way hotter than ex, don't want ex (or anyone, but I'm less sure how to handle ex) to be self-conscious if/when they meet |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I tell someone I don't like them back.
POST: Name = Person (Age) K = Me (17) A = Girl I like (17) P = Girl that likes me (17)
K and A both like eachother. K and A would both be together but P has liked K for 5 years. K and A are both good friends with P. K isn't supposed to know about this 5 year crush. K and P are going to the movies in 2 days to see Brave. K plans to tell P what is on his mind after the movie. P is also K's ride home. What does K say to P so K and A can both be together?
TL;DR: | K and A like eachother. K is under dibs by P. K needs to tell P he doesn't like P like that. What does K say to P? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my manager [28M], is this illegal or just massively not cool?
POST: I work in a restaurant. Let me start by saying that the turnover rate here is insane. Aside from the manager, Derek, nobody who currently works there has been there longer than 8 months. People get fired and quit constantly because of how this place is run. In fact, every single one of our cooks simultaneously up and quit on Monday.
The owners and management are unprofessional and hostile; I've been cussed out and seen others cussed out in front of customers. My manager constantly puts me down and tries to degrade me in front of the rest of our co-workers. I am very easy to get along with and I bust my ass so hard there, so I'm not sure why he treats me this way, but that is neither here nor there I guess.
The issue: my manager loves write-ups. Even the tiniest mistakes result in a write-up; everyone has at least some on their file, some people have a ton. It sucks but I understand it's important to have as much of that stuff on file as possible for legal reasons.
What I'm not cool with is the new write-up policy Derek announced yesterday. Instead of writing us up, mistakes will now be punished with us not getting any tips. This seems massively unfair. We also pool tips there, so that creates incentive for people to screw each other over or wish write-ups on their co-workers because then their share of tips will increase a shit ton. What kind of work environment is that?
Can he do this?
TL;DR: | Manager at restaurant has replaced write-ups with taking away our tips. I think it's fucked up. Is it even allowed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [29F] be there for my boyfriend [29M] of three years, during the last days of his grandmothers life?
POST: Well my boyfriend and I have a pretty great relationship, we're open with each other and we communicate well enough that we don't have to fight. When we disagree on something it gets resolved before it turns to anger.
His grandmother isn't doing well, she's got some form of dementia and he's just found out today that she's stopped eating/drinking. We know it probably won't be much longer. When he got the phone call from his mom he wouldn't tell me what was going on. He was visibly upset about something, and when I asked if everything was ok he just said "Yeah." I was admittedly being a little self-centered and have since apologized to him about it, but I was hurt that he didn't want to confide in me. He didn't even want to tell me what was going on. He eventually did tell me, and that's how I know now.
I want to be there for him, but he won't talk to me about it. I don't want to force it either so I don't bring it up, but I also don't want it to seem like I don't care that he's hurting by just avoiding the subject.
I just don't know what to do, or if I should do anything at all.
TL;DR: | Normally open and communicative boyfriend shut off communication when he found out his grandmother is at the end of her life, I don't know if I should do anything. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [17/m] don't want to make her [16/f] think I just used her for sex
POST: So, I met this girl on a dating app and I thought I liked her a lot. I hung out with her and had an okay time. We ended up getting really stoned and having sex (my first time). I don't really think a relationship could work because she live kind of far away and she is kind of a mess emotionally. I don't really know how to tell her that I don't really want to be in a relationship with her without sounding like I just used her for sex. I like her as a person, but I don't find her that attractive or really compatible. Advice?
TL;DR: | I had sex with a girl I thought I really liked, now I don't really like her and don't want her to think I just used her for sex. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Did my girlfriend[20F] and I[24 M] define our relationship too soon?
POST: We're both college students that share a class together. We made it official after only 2 weeks of dating. She's been in 2 relationships whereas I've been in none. (I dated two other people before meeting her though). We've made out several times and she has even given me head. However, it hasn't been purely sexual. We spend most of our time on campus together (we have six hour breaks) and have been on two great dates so far.
My best friend says that we're moving too fast, while another one says we aren't. My girlfriend has even expressed reservations about our relationship as she fears that I'm simply infatuated with her. I've reassured her that I'm not.
There's a level of trust, honesty, loyalty and communication between us that simply hasn't been there with other people. She makes me feel comfortable to the point where I feel like I've known her my entire life. She's someone I can confide in as she's an incredibly caring, patient, and understanding person. She's embraced all of my geeky interests instead of judging me.
These are qualities I look for and value in a partner. I'm not a people person. I hate people. I was bullied throughout the majority of my childhood so it has made me incredibly distrustful of people.
Also, she may be 20 but she acts more like someone my age.
TL;DR: | Became boyfriend and girlfriend in about 2 weeks followed by groping and oral sex soon after. Should I be worried that we're moving too fast? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Somewhat of a clean slate, and I have no idea how or where to start.
POST: I will summarize as best I can. I live in California, and Since 2005, my parents have had complete control of me financially. Between 2005-08 four properties (one in Dubai), a couple of large loans, and a car lease were all purchased under my name. Needless to say, due to the economy, everything tanked. Three of the four properties were foreclosed upon, the car lease was repossessed, and debt collectors were calling me 20x a day. During this time, 1/3 of my wages are being garnished for back taxes, and we are buried in debt and bills. Last summer I filed for bankruptcy and it was finally granted at the beginning of this year. I have no bank account, no credit cards, and the only thing I have left under my name is the house we reside in now-and the loan out on it is being refinanced. I can honestly say that I have no idea how or where to start from scratch. I never ever want to find myself in this miserable position again. Financial gurus of Reddit, where do I start? What are the best banks/credit unions I should look into? Should I file for any credit cards? Do I have any limitations because of my bankruptcy? What should I look for, and what should I avoid? Any and all advice is greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | FILED BANKRUPTCY AFTER YEARS OF FINANCIAL RUIN. NO IDEA WHAT TO DO NEXT! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Brink of breakup:My boyfriend and I just had a serious talk about long term or breakup, he said he needed more time to decide
POST: My boyfriend (23M) and I (23F) just had a serious talk 4 days ago. I told him that he either moves to NYC or SF as discussed, or we break up. He said that he needed more time to think about this. I planned the conversation because I'm not sure if our relationship could be long term regarding the different personalities and the distance between us.
Different personality--I'm an outgoing, outdoor and positive person; he enjoys spending time with his own, staying in alone, reading or visiting museums, doesn't like outdoor sports, over-worries about career and life and cant help being upset most of the times
We both agreed that he would try his best to settle a full time in SF, if not, I would apply to a job in NYC. But now, he told me NYC or SF is not the life he wants, and he wants to stay around Minnesota.
He is special to me in a way that he's only person I like who is not a player. I have lots of player friends and dated two players myself, which challenged my values. But this guy makes me believe in real love again.
Redditor, what do you think I should do?
TL;DR: | Brink of breakup:My boyfriend and I just had a serious talk. I told him that he either moves to NYC or SF as discussed, or we break up. He said he needs more time to decides |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (19m)felt like our (19f) relationship was falling apart I thought we should break up and now we are better than ever. Is that normal?
POST: My girlfriend and I had been going strong for about 7 or 8 months when things started to fall apart. We would fight all the time, usually about nothing, and it was just so horrible. I was very unhappy and I was thinking about breaking up with her. I was actually about to end it and I brought up all the issues I had (I had not brought them up like that so obviously before) and we talked about it. It wasn't a pretty argument but in the end she convinced me to stay with her.
It's been about 2 months and I can't recall a single day where I wasn't as happy as ever with her. I feel like I did when I first fell in love with her but better! I am just a little worried about this maybe relapsing again in the near future. Is it common to have such big fights in a relarionship that early on?
TL;DR: | girlfriend and I were having trouble. Tried to break up with her but we decided to give it another shot and now I feel like we are better than ever but I'm afraid of another period where we fight all the time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Friend [23F] with boss [40 M], possibly unprofessional conduct?
POST: Well, a close female friend of mine went to a nice dinner with her boss. She is 23 years old, he is around 40 or so. No, she is a paid intern at a company, and it is not unusual nor completely unexpected for bosses to take their employees out for dinners and lunches as a reward for work well done, or, in this case as a pre holiday break celebration for the end of the year.
now, my friend went to a nice dinner with her boss, and everything seem professional to find. However, at the end of the dinner, the boss mentioned to her that he does not get to have much fun, and that they should do it again. He then kissed her on the cheek. He also sent her a text after the date saying, that he had a good time and that they should do it again.
Unprofessional or...? The girl in question was a little weirded out, I might add.
Just curious on thoughts of potential unprofessional behavior...
TL;DR: | Friend went to dinner with boss, he said he doesn't get to have much fun usually, kissed her on the cheek, and said they should do it again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I need help deciphering my (19f) SO's behaviors (25M) of over a year
POST: We have a great relationship. We started dating early may of 2013, and things have been great. We fight like anyone else, but we always make up and fix things moving forward if there was a problem.
Theres a minor glitch. He can't say he loves me. I have always found this unusual especially considering the duration of our relationship and how we're both major homebodies who are close to each others families and not breaking up any time soon (I think.)
He has expressed when I asked about this that love is really, really, serious. He said when he thinks he's in love, he'd throw a ring on it. So basically, he wont tell me until he thinks he wants to get married. (considering the fact I'm 19 I dont bother asking. I dont want to get married right now.)
I try not to take it to heart, considering when I bring it up and compare myself to others , he always says 'do you think they'll be together in 10 years?' I guess not. He frequently comments how we're getting to know eachother better every day and how he thinks im more beautiful every day.
Am I getting myself in too deep? Is this a long term relationship in disguise?
TL;DR: | relationship with SO is good but the way he acts confuses me. I'm not paranoid or need to know everything that will happen but I have no idea if we're in it for the long run |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Boyfriend [30M] cheated on me [29F] and got girl pregnant. Confused about whether it is any of my business or not.
POST: I need guidance on what I am supposed to feel, not break up/make up advice so I am giving very little background.
My long distance boyfriend has just told me, a month before we were supposed to close the distance with me moving across continents to live with him, that he has been cheating on me with a friend of his who has been living with him for the last three months and that she got pregnant. She is considering an abortion (her own reasons, not because of me) but I don't know how sure that is because he is not sharing his feelings and experience with me. He claims he doesn't want to be in a relationship with her and still wants to be with me, which I am OK with child or not, but I am feeling very confused right now:
Am I selfish to think he should share his feelings, and what he is going through, with me to show that he wants and can let me back into his life or should I keep out of this entirely? If they keep the child, I will need to be included somehow, will that come later or should we discuss it now?
Am I allowed to feel sad and betrayed and in need of comfort when they are going through this huge thing together or should I get over myself already?
TL;DR: | boyfriend got another girl pregnant, she is possibly getting an abortion, I don't know how to deal with conflicting feelings of betrayal and guilt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [27 F] 4 months, she wants to shave her head
POST: The headline says it all I guess. My girlfriend of 4 months decided that she wants to shave her head, just because.
I love her - she's the most amazing person I've ever been with. We have an awesome relationship - stable, loving, generous, great sex, etc.
But I am not even remotely attracted to shaved head. It's not like we've been together for a few years and this is happening, were still in the honeymoon stage. I want to be open minded and sensible but I just cannot imagine being attracted to her in the same way if she looks completely different. And I would hate for that to happen when were just in the start of something that feels so special.
I'm trying, I have spent hours looking at pics of women with shaved heads. I would understand if it was for a cause, or she had done it before and wanted to do it again. But no. She just decided to "try it".
To a certain degree the decision itself also freaks me out. Se admitted that she might not like it, that she'll probably cry a bit, but she'll still just do it.
I don't understand, I don't know how to deal with it, and it's causing me immense anxiety. I love her, I don't want to be rash, I don't want to hurt her, but I also cannot lie to her or myself.
TL;DR: | girlfriend of 4 months plans to shave her head on a whim. I do not find that (or that decision) easy to accept. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Does it impact the ex for you to be polite and forgive?
POST: Just asking because me and my ex are supposed to talk soon after I've request NC for a 3 months. He's [22M] contacted me [22F] twice so far and I've just been polite and brief.
I do want to him realize the weight of his actions and how he's been really shitty. Is the best way to approach it to be nice and forgiving, but tell him I can't be in his life because he's hurt me too much?
I know you might say focus on myself, because I might not be able to affect him at all. Or it would be best for me to move on, which I have been for the most part. I say that because I haven't been tempted to talk to him, and I definitely don't want him back. But I know I haven't made it all the way there yet. And I do forgive him; the only reason why I want to make an emotional impact on him is that he's somewhat selfish and hopefully this can help him realize some of his darkness.
Not possible maybe, but please humor me. It's interesting enough to gain insight in emotional scenarios. It's kind of hard for me to put myself in his shoes.
TL;DR: | When telling someone you don't want them to be in your life anymore, should you be utterly indifferent, angry, or forgiving to have the most possible impact on them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Is it time to give him a little "pressure?"
POST: Ok so I met this guy late October. I am 31 [f] hes 27[m]. A week later we "hooked up". A week after that we had a little issue... irrelevant i believe. Anyway we had a little talk, I gave him 2 options. 1.) we could continue to see eachother but only for one month, and only eachother no one else. Option 2.) Lets end it now no love lost.
He apparently chose the first option because we are still together. In the beginning he told me he really was not ready for a relationship he said too many emotions involved. So ok i understand i respected that as i did not think i was ready for emotional attachment also.
Later i started having "feelings" for him .. so it came out a couple times with thanks to the liquid courage. He said he had never met anyone like me before and really liked me and that i had a great heart .. but! He still wasn't ready for a relationship, said he could not say if that would change in the future but as of now was not ready.
Well we've been together for almost 8 months now. Hes spent about 98% of his free time with me since we got together. We pretty much are in a relationship. I think now I am ready to be with him you know the whole BF/GF with title thing. I wrote him a letter of my feelings since for him and He did read it.. And hes been alot nicer and funny and cute since then, but still he has not told me how he feels... Do you think it is time that I sit him down and ask him face to face what he wants out of this relationship? I mean things are great now... but i do think since we've been together so long that its time we know at least what we are....
TL;DR: | Been with a guy for almost 8 months.. No BF/GF label, now i have feelings for him, he may have them for me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] and my girlfriend of 3 years [19 F] just told me, at a club, that she's been hooking up with one of my childhood friends. Just got home. Can't sleep. How do you guys even deal with this shit?
POST: Wow. I feel like total shit. This girl was, what I think, the love of my life. While our relationship had it's bumps and bends, I thought people had a little bit of decency. He's been one of my good friends since middle school. I've had a gut feeling about this for so long, it's just that she always reassured me nothing would ever happen. Man, do I feel small, and like such an idiot for letting myself get dragged around like this.
My brain is telling me this is good, but the rest of me feels like total shit. I hope I'll never have to feel this again. This fucking sucks. I'm laying here, trying to sleep, think about other things or get over her but I can't. And it seems like most of my friends don't really mind/say anything (me, my ex and "friend" have all been in the same social circle for years now.) How do you guys deal with this stuff?
TL;DR: | Long term girlfriend (ex-girlfriend) told me tonight that she's been hooking up with my childhood friend. Just need a little help coping with the situation. I feel fucking small and alone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[31M] with my girlfrield [31F] for a few months, is it worth it?
POST: I've been dating someone now for a few months. She lives about an hours train ride away, so we only get to see each other at weekends but it's been pretty much all weekend every weekend since we've been together, plus an hour or two on the phone every day, and numerous emails and texts and so on throughout the day. That's all fine.
When things are going good, it is absolutely fantastic. It feels like one of the best relationships I've ever been in. And even though we've only been together a few months, we've already discussed moving in together,and marriage and kids and everything like that. And all of that is really great and I have no problems there.
But then on the other side, we seem to argue an awful lot about a lot of silly things, and it feels like it's been getting more and more often recently. And when we do argue, I end up feeling really awful about upsetting and hurting her, and this then ends up making me feel really miserable about things.
The latest arguments have been around the fact that her parents like a couple of hours away in one direction, and my parents live a couple of hours away in a different direction, and so what happens around Christmas and the like when we'd both want to see the parents but obviously can't manage that because of distances. And this is a really silly thing to be arguing over, because in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter at all but it's been going back and forth for a few hours now...
I've only ever been in one proper relationship before, but that one lasted for about 10 years. However, we've already had more quantity and more extreme arguments in my current one after a few months than I ever did in those 10 years. And I'm just really at a loss as to what things should be like and what to do about it...
TL;DR: | Good times are very good, Bad times are bad, but all over very silly issues that shouldn't matter but seem to keep coming up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [25/f] dating a separated (34/m) with no divorce date.
POST: He has been separated and living apart from his wife for 3 years and has no intention of filing for divorce any time soon. He walked away from the relationship and she really didn't want him too. They have two girls together (11 and 13 years) and have joint custody. They have reached a decent level of civility and have a great co-parenting relationship.
I asked him why he hadn't filed for divorce and he said it was because he didn't want to upset her and ruin the relationship that he had worked really hard to attain for the sake of the girls. She can't take him for any money or assets etc as the laws here won't allow for it in his situation and they already split everything when they separated.
Neither of us are interested in getting married ever but I still don't know how I feel about him still being married to her. I haven't really brought it up with him again and am wondering if I should just accept it as is and move on with life. We have been dating for only 5 months.
What are your thoughts? How would you feel? Should I say something?
TL;DR: | [25/f] dating a separated (34/m) with no divorce date. Should I be ok with this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26M] feel jealous about my wife's [30F] interactions with other men, because I have no one else to talk to. [Together 7 years, married 4]
POST: Ok, so, i want to retain some anonymity here, but... my wife and i recently went through rough times (started with a miscarriage and only got worse before it got to the point we're at now) and while we're slowly moving out of the rough patch I keep relapsing due to trust issues, because she has a bunch of male friends that she talks to everyday and i've seen the conversation turn quite personal and sometimes they attempt to flirt.
My wife says I would probably chill out if i had some people talk to, probably female friends, and even said she would understand some flirting just to boost my confidence a bit. I'm not sure how to go about finding anyone new to talk to, nor do i know if this could be a good idea (it's a trap?). What would be the best way to go about actually getting someone to talk with, what's the best way to approach this without being a creep or weirdo?
TL;DR: | Wife wants me to make female friends to stop jealousy issues, but i'm not sure how and know if it's a good idea... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20 M] best friend [21 F] is acting in an inappropriate way towards me.
POST: My best friend has started acting in a very suspicious manner towards me (shes been acting like this for 2-3 months now). We've been friends for around 3 years now, and we've never had any kind of sexual tension between us. I have acted towards her like I would act towards any male friend. We also have never had anything that could even resemble any romantic relationship. Though I have always considered her attractive, I had already decided the day I met her, that she's friend material. Also note that we sometimes crash at each others places, if we've spend the day together, tough with different covers, and in each our site.
She has been seeing this guy for 2 years now, and it is starting to get serious, she recently told him she loves him, and things are going good between them, and I am super happy about that. Though that does not stop her from acting in a inappropriate way towards me.
Generally it's nothing to serious, but it's things like:
* Slapping my butt. [Often]
* Sexual remarks. [Often]
* Humping. [Rarely]
* Kissing (though not on the lips) [Rarely]
* Last time we slept together she snuggled over to my side, and put her head on my chest, and her leg over my legs.
TL;DR: | Best friend of 3 years starting to act inappropriate towards me, she has a boyfriend. How do I bring it up? Am I in the wrong, is this normal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Buyer's remorse on expensive prescription glasses
POST: I'm an idiot. Despite being quite good at being frugal and investing in the last year, I'm still given to occasional idiotic mistakes.
I just got covered under my company's health insurance, and got vision insurance. Went to the eye doctor's office and somehow got talked into spending $300 on designer glasses. I usually buy the $35 ones from Zenni.
Had store immediate buyer's remorse, called the office and they said they couldn't refund them, as they've already been made.
I can pay for these, but I won't be saving anything this month, and I'll probably have a little bit leftover that I'll still need to pay off next month.
My Mom recommended disputing the charge through my credit card company. How much would this hurt my credit asks how unethical would it be?
TL;DR: | Idiot with new health insurance spent too much on glasses, regrets it, can't get refund. Any hope for him aside from being a not-idiot in the future? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I 22(F) fantasize about a different life without my (22M) boyfriend, after a year together.
POST: Before I get in to this, I want it to be known that I love him, and I deeply care about his happiness. We bicker quite a bit though and recently my bf has become a jealous person.
Now, here's my problem, I'm 22 years old and I can't stop thinking and fantasizing about my life without my SO.
I've recently lost all want for sex with him and I'm wondering if maybe my mind is just wandering?
I'm especially intoxicated with thoughts of a previous fling I had (let's call him P, 25yo) years before I met my bf, although I was still talking to P right before I got with my boyfriend (as friends but with some flirt). And suddenly, I can not stop thinking about him, he even jumps in my mind when I'm masturbating (this brings so much guilt, especially when it's the thoughts of my time with him that makes me reach climax).
I feel incredibly guilty and I know my boyfriend can tell somethings up but I just can't stop thinking of P, or my life if I wasn't with my bf.
It's not just that though, at times I really miss being single and I feel like my life would be filled with more exploring and spontaneity if I wasn't with him.
Has anyone ever felt this? Is this just a thing I'm feeling that will pass? Or am I truly over my relationship?
When I think about my future, I'm afraid that if he's in it I won't do the things I want to do in life. But when I've talked to him about this he assumes it's because I just want to be single and sleep around which I don't, I just want excitement again.
Also, I messed up the title, he's 21.
TL;DR: | I have had fantasies about a life without my boyfriend. Don't know if this is a phase or if it means I'm not happy anymore. Need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (18F) girlfriend hates all drugs due to past abuses and says she can't get over me (18M) doing them or even having a different opinion on them
POST: We have only been together a little over 3 months and I'm afraid this issue will snowball into something much larger in the future. My girlfriend was sexually abused and neglected by her parents who were addicts and she says that drugs indirectly played a role in her traumatic upbringing. Because of this she says she will never do them or want anyone she cares about to do them.
Prior to our relationship I would smoke weed and occasionally drink(I know I'm underage). But since we got to together I gave it up for her because it wasn't a big deal for me, and I thought that would be the end of it. But since we've began to open up to each other more she's told me that it still bothers her that it feels like my choice to be with her is the reason I stopped smoking and not a choice of my own because she told me her story. Our different opinions have been a topic for debate for a long time and we never seem to get anywhere with these arguments and I feel like each time we fight about it the situation only gets worse.
In our fights when she gets very upset she tells me things like she doesn't feel like I care for her enough, or she feels that she puts more effort in to our relationship than I do. These things make me feel awful like I'm really not a good enough boyfriend to her. And in our most recent argument she told me that she felt like I didn't love her enough to change my opinion on drug use. We've made up every time but the problem has never been solved and I just don't feel I can change my opinion by her request. I just don't know to how to proceed with our relationship because I really do care about her more than I thought I could care for anyone else, but I don't want to feel like my feelings are clouding my judgement on the makings of a potentially abusive relationship in the future.
TL;DR: | gf was abused all through childhood and blames drugs for it. I used to do them but stopped for her and she told me she wants me to change my idea on them completely. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Contact lens help
POST: I'm fairly new to contact lenses, and my optometrist is a pretty big advocate of monthly lenses because they're much more exact in their ability to match my prescription (I have astigmastism. an astigmatism? whatever). I love dailies, but I've been trying different types and I keep running into the same problem: later in the night (regardless of whether I use drops to re-moisturize) one will slip out of focus more often and they begin to bug me. Trying monthlies now, they do the same damn thing even though they're supposed to be magic lenses of perfection. Is this because I spend time on the computer/tv in the evenings? I'd really appreciate any input on these because I'm not going to be able to tolerate 35 more trial pair of lenses.
TL;DR: | do contact lenses irritate the shit out of you when watching tv/computer whether you use drops to re-moisturize or not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Messy SAH SO, I'm overwhelmed with housework
POST: My so (m, 22) of 3 years and I (f, 21) just moved back in together. We have lived together for 2 of those years and lived separately from last November until a few weeks ago. We have a one year old daughter together and currently, SO stays home with her while I work full time.
Our daughter absolutely adores him and as far as taking care of her, he does a wonderful job. She is fed, diapered, happy. The problem is the absolute disaster I come home to. Examples: He doesn't wipe off her highchair after feeding her and leaves food crusted to it. Dirty diapers are left on the changing table. Coffee and drinks spilled on the counter will run down the side and congeal there. He does often cook, but makes gigantic messes doing it and does not clean it up.
Today is my day off and I have spent the last four hours cleaning up ants, mopping up mud from his shoes and attempting to conquer the laundry that has piled up in our bedroom. He is outside with his electronic cigarette reading because he needs to relax and it is my day to watch the baby.
I feel completely overwhelmed. I already work full time at a demanding sales job. I feel like I am both responsible for the housekeeping and also putting food on the table. I definitely have higher cleaning standards than he does and I don't want him to feel constantly nagged but I feel like there has to be a better way than we are currently doing things.
How can I get him to help more without being a huge nag?
TL;DR: | My SO is extremely messy and I am not. Working full time and doing most of the housework- how do I get him to help more? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 F] just started seeing someone [23 M] who has recently gotten out of a long term relationship. Should I continue seeing him or should I just give him space? Am I just a rebound?
POST: Long-time lurker on another account, first-time poster.
Anyway, I recently started seeing a guy who I sincerely like and he told me that he has just gotten out of [they broke up a month ago] a very serious relationship with his past girlfriend of over a year. Their break-up was initiated by him and he doesn't seem interested in me just for hook-up purposes. Our dates have been just that, dates! And although we have had some conversations regarding our romantic and sexual pasts, he has never pressured me into disclosing with him anything that I am uncomfortable with.
However, I am apprehensive because I want a more serious relationship and I don't want to pressure him into entering another relationship so soon after a break-up. He has told me that he is being cautious and doesn't want to date seriously too soon but has also been sending me mixed signals. He will constantly plan ahead to future dates where we can spend time together, he wants to wait for us to have sex and we both understand/satisfy each other's emotional/intellectual needs to the point of genuinely liking each other.
My question is, should I continue seeing him or should I just cut him off to allow him space to be single? If I continue seeing him, what tips/advice do you have for dating someone who was in a long-term relationship? I really like the guy and I'm new to dating too [was in a long-term relationship but have been single for the past year] but I don't want to just be a rebound.
TL;DR: | Guy I'm seeing was in a long-term relationship. Don't want to be a rebound because I really like him. Should I keep dating him or let him have time to be single? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20/F] with my husband [28/M] haven't had sex in two years
POST: My husband and I haven't had sex in two years and I'm starting to think it has done irreparable damage to our relationship. He masturbates regularly, so I just don't understand what is going on.
When we first started dating 3 years ago, he was straight up about saying he had a low sex drive. We did a lot of drugs and drank way too much whiskey, so I figured it was related to that. Still, we had sex around once a week. Then I got pregnant. He said it made him uncomfortable thinking about having sex with a pregnant woman. I didn't push him about it. Even on our wedding night, I figured there would be plenty of time for it after our baby was born. Well, our daughter is over a year old now and we still haven't had sex, and not from my lack of trying to initiate it. I have just sort of given up trying after he repeatedly rejected my advances. I just don't even know what to do now. I feel unwanted. I can't help but wonder if he is getting it from someone else. We tried marriage counseling with no success. He refuses to acknowledge it and flips shit if I push the subject.
It's almost like a taboo subject in our house. He claims he doesn't want to talk about it because his "parents relationship was based on sex and they wound up divorced because of it". I have a hard time even feeling attracted to him anymore. My self-esteem is in the gutter because of it. I just don't know what to do or even think. I'm tired of my husband acting like my roommate.
TL;DR: | My husband and I haven't had sex since I gave birth. Any advice on why he is acting this way? What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [34/m], [all Fs] and being good at lying
POST: In a previous life I was in a senior position within one of the large protest movements (NOT Occupy - it was another country) which made international news. I had to manage an intense and serious historic event and navigate between rival groups, claims, etc. This meant I became very good at lying very quickly because lives and political goals were on the line.
Any woman I am involved with who googles me can quickly read about what I did in the movement and always asks: are you good at lying?
My question: how do I respond? I have always said "yes, I had to be" but I can clearly see that it is a problematic answer based on their replies. However, it's the truth. Perhaps there is a better way to say it?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Involved in historic political event, became good at lying. Women always ask about being good at lying and I say yes but it becomes uncomfortable. What to say? |
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