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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[23/M] dating [20/F] 3 months, She moved far away, how do I keep her interested without scaring her away
POST: I [23M] began dating a wonderful girl [20f] who peaked my interests in many ways. Wonderful taste in music, beautiful outlook on life, very adventurous and outgoing. She knew how to be a great girlfriend without pushing or rushing into anything.
When we began dating I knew upfront she was leaving but assumed the risk of heartache and kept on seeing her. We both knew it would be really hard to say goodbye but we kept on seeing each other taking short trips to the beach, museums, shows. All of which we both shared interests in so we had a great time anywhere you went.
On top of many common interests our sex life was fiery and we spent most of our time in bed trying new things with each other. This pulled me even close to her as Ive always wanted a girl open to sexual curiosity.
Im trying to keep this short to gain your interests as I will field any questions to help with my dilemma. She just moved back home 800 miles away from me. We both agreed long distance wont work but we want to work on visiting one another and hopefully build into something bigger together. How can I go about keeping this wonderful girl around without pushing her away or losing her completely. I understand life happens and she can move on so can I but I at least don't want to give up on this one.
TL;DR: | We met at school through a friend, fell hard for eachother spent lots of time together, did many things with eachother, and had a lot of great sex. She is now far away but I dont want to lose her |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, there is a huge life decision that I need help with... and it's been bugging me for a few years. People around me aren't being helpful and I am not sure how much it will affect my future. I don't even know whether or not I am exaggerating, but please... help me make my mind about college.
POST: I have seen so many people on this site that have gone through such decisions and are already starting internships, works and so on. I need advice from people around my age. Not adults that remember how they got in college in ancient times.
How much does my first college degree matter anyway? People I know studied to be engineers but ended up politicians. What do degrees prove in the end in the eyes of the HR department?
TL;DR: | Can't choose college at all. It's really a good time to make my mind already, and nobody around me is helping.(My rating of how well I do in subjects at school might help you help me, haha...) |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What do you do when you feel hopeless?
POST: So, I've been single for a long time. Partly due to the fact that I'm a little overweight, mostly due to the fact that I have no confidence at all. Anyway, being single for as long as I have been has made me feel really lonely. Recently, I finally worked up the confidence to ask a girl out. She said "maybe" and that she'd get back to me in a few days. All of my friends were telling me that she'd probably say yes and I got excited because I thought I had a shot at real happiness for the first time in a while. We had a 9 day vacation from school and I didn't hear from her. when we finally got back to school she pulled me aside at the end of the day and told me that the reason it took so long to give me an answer is because she was nervous about saying no. At first I was okay with that. She went home and I hung out with my friends for another hour and I felt fine. When I went home afterwards I started to feel awful. Now it's been three days and I have an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. It feels like I'll never have a chance at happiness again. I keep telling myself that it's not true, but I still can't shake this feeling. Any ideas?
TL;DR: | I asked a girl out, got happy and hopeful that she'd say yes, she ended up saying no. Now I feel like I will never have happiness and I want to change that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (17M) just met a really cool gal (16F) in January and everything seemed to be going amazingly well until this past Monday.
POST: So I met her at a group I'm in that meets once a month. We seemed to really get along well. We started talking outside of the group, we had some video chats, and we went out on what I was sure at the time was a date. (We got milkshakes and went for a walk.)
This Monday our group took a trip and she was acting normal at first, but throughout the day she started acting less and less interested. I backed off thinking I was being annoying. By the end of the day she left without saying goodbye.
Now she takes a lot longer to respond to my messages and when she does the responses sometimes seem pretty curt. It blows my mind though, because everything seemed like it was going great! She even said that she wanted to ask me to prom (too late :( ).
I just don't get it. Sorry if this seems too much like a high school puppy love problem, but it's just been bugging me. I've never had a girlfriend so getting this close and it going wrong is frustrating.
TL;DR: | things were going great, but now, seemingly without reason, they have gone downhill and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23 M] and lost on how to form a quality relationship? Need some advice and feedback
POST: This is kind of a rant but I need to see if anyone else browsing on here has been or is in a similar situation as me.
I just turned 23 and really crawled out of a deep depressing hole over the past couple of years and am feeling better than ever. I lost nearly 100 lbs and gained some serious muscles and a improved physique, got a great full time job and a new car, improved a bad situation with my family and basically just shed a lot of prior hang ups holding me back from a romantic relationship in general.
That being said I can't help but feel the damage has already been done...I have no sexual or romantic experience to speak of and my self esteem is still shaky at best despite my improved health and confidence. I am not nervous or intimated by women however I am not confident in showing interest in women if that makes sense? I live in the suburbs and along with that I work the evening shift with a all male workforce on a daily basis I almost NEVER see women my age other than the drive thru lol.
My hobbies are all quite masculine and extreme so I tend not to see any females doing them either. I enjoy boxing, lifting, gaming, guns, cars and motorcycles and don't frequent many places that I consider negative additions to my life such as bars or clubs or even church for that matter. I'm quite introverted but not shy, confident but distant, and my lifestyle is getting lonely and secluded and it is starting to take it's toll.
So has anyone ever experienced this situation? Give me some advice on where to meet and how to approach some women around my age.
TL;DR: | Inexperienced and confused suburban guy looking for some advice on how to get started forming a quality relationship with a woman. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is passion really so important, or is love and comfort enough?
POST: I am a 27 year old female who has been in a relationship with a man of the same age going on 5 years. He is an amazing friend and takes great care of me, but I rarely feel any passion for him.
We have been trying very hard to work out some past infidelity on my part, and drug abuse on both our parts. (We are clean now). I've been questioning if I really love him, or if I even understand what love is. If I could hurt him so many times...then I just don't know. But he really really wants to stay together.
I do like being with him overall, but I always feel like somethings not right. And it's on my end.
I also have issues with depression, so I don't even know if this is the relationship, or if it is all in my head. I am in counseling. Whenever I bring up my relationship issue with the counselor, he hardly helps. I was hoping reddit might have some thoughts that could.
TL;DR: | Lack of passion for boyfriend, but still love. Past drug issues, infidelity, depression etc. Continually flip flopping on whether to stay or go. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Is it wrong to compliment a strangers appearance at a social gathering?
POST: Bit of background:I went to a social gathering recently and you were required to get dressed up.
I show up just like everybody in required formal wear. I walk in and there is a women standing there in things like a dress, heels, jewelry, hair done, makeup, etc. Very beautiful and stunning. I felt like saying something to her and telling her she looks nice. Not sexual like nice tits or what a great ass you have.
Even though she was very beautiful, I didnt want to make her feel uncomfortable by receiving a compliment from a stranger
Would you be creeped out by being told you are beautiful or look nice at a social event from a stranger?
TL;DR: | Questioning complimenting a woman who was absolutely beautiful at a social event, would it be right, even though they are a stranger technically? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [23 M] sleeping with a [23 F] tinder friend for 5 Months. When are we considered Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
POST: Hi Reddit.
I'm not sure whether or not I'm in a relationship or just a fuck buddy. Personally I'd like to be in the latter, but I'm quite terrible with guaging where the relationship is at so I was hoping to get your feedback.
Met this girl on tinder. Have gone out on very sporatic dates (like dinner).
Usually she just comes over around 9 or 10 PM and we just have sex all night long. She leaves first thing in the morning. That's usually how it works.
Recently though I think I have changed the dynamic of the relationship. She had invited me for a hike and now I get this feeling we are a couple. She kept bringing up the fact we have been hanging out for 5 months and made a crack like "oh your other girlfriends" in a passing statement.
I have never called this girl my girlfriend or discussed our relationship with her beyond us saying we are fuck buddies.
TL;DR: | Fucking a girl for 5 months. Not sure if we're still fuck buddies or actually in a relationship. What do you think? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My (20/f) best friend, who i thought was gay, just told me she has feelings for (21/m)e.
POST: We've been best friends going on two years now, and we have previously had discussions about a future together (Nothing to hint at how much she felt about me, basically just the ol' marriage pact at 40 dealio type thing) but then earlier tonight she sent me the following message:
>"For months now with everything going with mum and the rest of my dramas. From the day I talked to you about how I felt, I have tried so hard to get over it and convince myself that I'm gay. I dressed like a boy, I acted like a boy, I forced myself to fall in love with someone I didn't really like, all because I was petrified about going against what I had portrayed myself to be for so long. Half the reason I broke up with Nicole is because I want to end up with someone else, and that's you, even if you don't feel the same, it wasn't fair on her. I wrapped myself so deep in all my family drama etc to try and distract myself but i can't hide it anymore I don't think. I don't mind if you don't want to be with me but if you have even the slightest small teenie bit of feeling toward me, let me know, because I will wait for a really long time if I have to. Otherwise I need to get over it. You are the only male that has made me swing and I can't see there being another."
I think i always knew there was something more here, but i'm unsure how i feel about her... It's certainly something, and i know i did have feelings for her when we first became friends but I've always pushed them to the side, never believing anything could come from it and moved on. Now im just really confused. Im seeing her tomorrow to talk about it some more but any advice you could offer whether from experience with a similar situation or just anything at all would be a god send. Thanks, Reddit.
TL;DR: | my lesbian best friend has fallen in love with me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me, i used to like her but i got over it and now im really confused about what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I (24f) being paranoid about my BF's (24m) new friend?
POST: So my boyfriend of 7 months has been getting closer to one of his coworkers, we'll call her S. A few weeks ago, they went out to a bar and met up with S's boyfriend, T. I wasn't invited to go, but I had to be up early the next morning, anyway. A few days later, my BF and I are catching up, talking about how each other's weeks have been so far and he tells me how much fun he had with S and T the other night. I've never met them before, but he tells me S is bisexual and hints at the fact that she is in an open relationship with T. Then he starts talking about how S and T were showing him pics of them having sex at the bar, you know.. Because of how open they are with each other. I pause and ask him if he thinks they are interested in him (my BF). He laughs and says no way.. But then tells me that he got too drunk to drive home and ended up staying up until 6am talking and crashing at their place. I tell him that it's kinda strange and that I definitely wouldn't want him sharing sexy pics of us to other people, especially not someone at work. I didn't push it because I didn't want to seem overly paranoid, and maybe it meant nothing? Still weird, though.
Fast forward to last night when I realized I left my work uniform at his place. Crap, I work at 6am.. I need to run over to his apartment, so I call him. No answer. I text him and explain I need to swing by and he replied that he wasn't home. I said oh, ok.. Will you be home anytime soon? He said no. I will admit that I was curious at this point, so I asked where he was. He tells me he's at the bar but his roommate is there, so I can run over and grab my stuff.
When I get to his apartment, his roommate told me that he went to the bar with S. I wonder why he didn't tell me. All of those paranoid feelings come flooding back. Is it wrong of me to feel uncomfortable with this new friendship?
TL;DR: | BF's female friend from work showed him sexual photos of her and her BF. I'm wondering if I should let this bother me or let it go. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Most of my best friends have been gay but I'm not. How do I go about finding straight friends?
POST: Hi there, I'm a straight Asian teenager. I guess you could say I'm attractive although I've had very low self esteem up until recently. For some reason, a lot of my friends have definitely been romantically interested in me, when I talk to them now it becomes blatantly obvious. The real question is, how do I show that I'm not interested in a relationship and go about finding new straight friends? It feels like everyone is attracted to me and being surrounded by these people my whole life has definitely effected the way I act. I don't really know where to begin, being a stoner for these many years has really messed me up. I'm very interested in body language so if there's any tell tale signs that anyone knows! This experience has given me some pretty bad trust issues, almost every single one of my best friends has shown me porn or something else and I just want to have friends who I know are straight as reassurance. It's not that I'm afraid of being gay, I'm pretty sure I'm not but it just kinda makes me feel uncomfortable to think that almost everyone I ever trusted was romantically interested in me at one point and it's really screwed up my perspective on the world and with my logic. So how do I find straight people?
Sorry for spelling mistakes I'm tired and it's been a long day
TL;DR: | Most of my best friends were gay, how do I act uninterested in guys without being rude and find new, straight friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I hate myself for succumbing to Senioritis. Any ideas on how to stay focused in school?
POST: My GPA dropped by half a point already, and it's getting harder and harder to stay focused. I know I'm kidding myself when I say, "it's okay, everyone has senioritis," but I find myself pushing off work as long as possible. I used to get things done right away. I'm the guy who goes home and does his homework (after a quick snack) right away, and then waists time on reddit for the rest of the night. But lately, I play games on my laptop in school, say "fuck that (yao ming face)" to almost ALL of my work, and I haven't exercised in weeks. I've only just realized that I started doing this after I failed my recent chemistry test. I had an A fall term and I'm barely getting a B now. I'm in the same situation with math and biology. But english and spanish are the same (I guess those are the easier classes).
I'm not asking for life-hacks (I still apply many of those daily), just a couple guidelines to get my act together, and buckle down and start being a good student again.
TL;DR: | How do you stay focused during study time? And how do you prevent yourself from procrastinating? (sorry if that's confusing) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (F/21) mother (48) keeps invalidating my experiences by always talking about how she has it worse.
POST: I've been very depressed lately and I'm currently seeing a counsellor at my college. A lot of my depression comes from my dyslexia which some times makes me feel like I'm bad at my studies. Since it is nearing the end of the semester, I have a lot of work due. Whenever I say something to my mother about how I feel tired or stresses, she invalidates my feelings by saying that she has it much harder than me so I should shut up. I just want to know what I can say when she pulls this shit on me. It's so infuriating.
TL;DR: | I'm going through a hard time with my studies and whenever I express my concerns, my mother tells me that she has it much worse than me. What can I say to that will make her be more sensitive? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23m] saw my ex today, got too scared to even say hello yet I can't stop thinking about her...
POST: We dated for 3 months half a year ago (my first gf), she went away on a trip for 2 months, and told me it was over when she came back and moved away for the summer.
Even though it was this long ago I still cant stop thinking about her. I texted her a few weeks ago and she told me we would be going to the same school, and thats where I saw her today. She was looking down when I walked by her and even though I've been hoping for the moment to say somthing I got way too scared to say anything and walked away.
I cant understand why I cant let it go and realize that its over and move on. I work/school full time and go to the gym almost everyday just to keep busy because I know any free moment I have I will think about her.
The first two weeks of school have been hell just knowing that she is here in the same spot as me. At least when she was away I knew there was nothing I could do about it but now all I think about is finding her and trying to talk to her. Does anyone even know what I should say or do to just contact her...
Im starting to think about seeking therapy or somthing now because theres no way this is healthy... I've never even thought it was possible to be this hung up on a girl before...
TL;DR: | Saw my ex and was too scared to say hi, don't know what to do because I cant stop thinking about her and its ruining my life... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 F] with my ex [30 M] of two years, feeling guilty about our breakup
POST: My ex and I broke up in december....and continued on-off for about two months. Honestly it was a super messy break up, with each of us being confused about if it was the right thing.
I wanted to be nice and polite, and even be friends with him someday. But as messy as if was, I said some things I really regret and I don't think I treated him well. I hope I haven't left him wounded or made his life worse. We are now no contact and I feel more sane/grounded, but I'm been thinking and regreting how I treated him.
How do I deal with this guilt/apologize without dragging both of us back into this on-off relationship and emotional rollercoaster?
TL;DR: | Ex and I had an 'emotional rollercoaster' and on-again off-again breakup. I said some things I regret. How do I make amends and make sure he's okay without bringing back our chaotic dynamic? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Want to know if I [21M] have a shot at fixing my relationship with my girlfriend [22F]
POST: I know it's a dumb overasked question but I just wanted a couple candid responses.
So this starts over a year ago. Me and my girlfriend had only been dating for a couple weeks and I was uncertain about how serious I was about it. I end up going to a very ratchet house party and I get very drunk and start dancing with this girl. We make out a little (terrible I know) and then I go home with my friends after we exchange numbers (again, yes, terrible). We text back and forth for a day and she tells me to come over. Me being dumb and horny I agree (I am the worst). We fool around on the couch, but when it comes down to doing the deed, I have a mental freakout. I decide I want to get serious about my girlfriend, so I get the hell out and I don't text her again.
Fast forward to several days ago. I have a separate different female friend who I used to hang out with a lot, but it made my girlfriend uncomfortable so I stopped. She texts me asking if i want to go to her house for a party which I agree to. I did not tell my girlfriend. She finds out and gets angry, but we make up and I think things will be OK.
Then the other day she's looking through my phone. Now I had deleted those text messages, but they were over Google voice, so after backing up my phone a while ago they get restored. She reads them. She's devastated because just when she thought she could trust me this happens.
Now she's blocked me on my phone and facebook. I get that she's completely in the right on this, but I also feel like I'm a completely different person than I was a year ago. Think I have a shot at taking me back, or has too much damage been done?
TL;DR: | I fooled around with a girl when me and my girlfriend first started dating, she finds out a year and a half later, shit unfolds predictably. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23 M] Going from relationships to casual fun
POST: So recently I had to break it off with a girl I was seeing because we wanted different things. I wanted a relationship and she wanted to just have fun. The thing is I've only been in relationships before and never explored the realm of casual sex/ friends with benefits. I don't know how well I could do in that type of relationship (I'd get jealous/pissed if I saw her hooking up with another guy) but the more and more I think about it a serious relationship would be a major strain on my life... but god damn I want to get laid.... Anyone out there have similar experiences? How did it go?
TL;DR: | I've only been in monogamous relationships but want to try friends with benefits...except I know I'm a sensitive and jealous dude. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: How do I stop running away from this woman who likes me?
POST: I'm a 27m, I'm not sure how old she is; probably a year or two younger than I am.
For the sake of anonymity, we'll say I do slam poetry in bars. There's a really gorgeous woman who has started doing slam poetry recently. I think she likes me; she's gone out of her way to talk to me and I've caught her sneaking glances at me.
I have this tendency to play it really cool around women I like. So much so that I usually become friends with them before making any moves. I won't talk to cute girls on the bus, and I've been on a couple of dates with women where it goes nowhere because I probably am just not showing enough interest. On the other hand, I'm petrified of doing this, because I used to fall for girls hard, ask them out point-blank, then alienate them with how eager I was. Also part of my reluctance is seeing how many guys creep on women and I get this feeling of "this woman is probably bothered by men all the time, everywhere she goes. Why does she need one more bugging her?"
So the other night I was talking to this same woman, and I got her number. And then I went home. Right in the middle of the slam poetry event. Things were going fine, but I had to flee. I feel so dumb for this. I think she's a bit out of my league, but she certainly is giving me her attention.
So I guess I need advice in this situation, and just in general when it comes to this. I know I'm pretty good looking, funny, cool, really nice and empathetic.
TL;DR: | I'm too chicken to actually express that I like a woman and clam up when I know I like someone. What are some ways I can sorta test the waters? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18M] with my [18F] friend, developing feelings...
POST: I have known this girl for about 2 months and I feel like I am developing feelings for her. Most of our interactions are online and she recently invited to a weekend event which went great and we spent the entire time together. Even though she seemed nervous at first, her body language was very positive around me and she seemed really open and comfortable around me. She even told me a couple stories about how she went to some 18+ panels and watched hentai around a bunch of grown men which to us is fucking hilarious. We even started to talk about other sexual things.
After attending the weekend event with her she has been acting slightly differently. She seems more playful and teases me alittle bit more (in a good way obviously) and wants to spend more time with me. She is starting to tell me that I should come over to her house multiple times and I should watch certain shows with her.
Awesome, right? All signals are a go except for one red flag. She has a long distance boyfriend (they haven't seen each other in real life in about 6 months). Now here is my dilemma, I wanna tell this girl how I feel but if she doesn't have mutual feelings I don't want our platonic relationship to become awkward. I would say 70% of the time she mention her boyfriend its usually negative. Something along the lines of it doesn't want to do anything or is being hard to deal with.
I honestly don't want to be that guy but I feel like If I don't make a move I'm going to regret it so much. Realistically, I will probably only know this girl for 1 more year before I go off to college and I feel like we can have some really good times in that 1 year.
I guess what I'm asking is should I take the risk and swing for the fences or just be happy with a good platonic relationship with this girl.
TL;DR: | Really clicked with this girl I met around 2 months ago went to a weekend event and really hit it off. Only problem is she has a long distance boyfriend and wondering If I should make a move. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Married couple (M,F, late 20s) trying to help friend (20s M) whose wife left him xPost with r/Advice
POST: Our friend is about the same age. They were married for 2 years, together for about 3 years before that. We found out only after the wife left the husband (about 6 weeks ago) that they've been struggling for at least a year. The husband was incredibly stressed out with work and doesn't have good communication skills and had been taking it out on her, to the point that everyone involved now acknowledges he was verbally abusing her for at least this past year. She left and has no intention of coming back, and wants to speak to him minimally except about logistics of the divorce.
He's already made changes (read multiple books about verbal abuse, started seeing a therapist), and believes if he could just convince her to try that things would be better because he now understands that he was mistreating her. She's fully convinced that she doesn't want to try to fix things and feels relieved to be out of the marriage.
Now that I've spoken with the wife a couple of times, I'm realizing that there's very little hope of reconciliation, and I'm trying to help the husband move on. He's stuck on the fact that she's not willing to try and that she's only talked to him for several hours total about the dissolution of their 5 year relationship. He believes he'll never be happy without her. I don't know how to help him!
My husband and I are the closest friends to them and are the main support system of the husband. We get together with him 1-2 times a week, and a lot of it is spent talking about their relationship (understandably). The other concern here is how to be helpful without also getting myself depressed, because it's been an extremely stressful year for me and I'm having my own struggles with optimism and being the main support system for someone whose life is crashing down around him is leading me to my own internal freakouts (e.g. when I first found out about their impending divorce, I was so affected that I cried a lot the next day and had had to take a personal day from work to deal with my new feelings about the fact that the optimistic beliefs I tend to hold about life might be irrational).
TL;DR: | How do I act as a support system for my friend whose wife left him, and do so without sending myself into a tailwind of depression too? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Student, recently unemployed, in small debt
POST: I know that this is very minor compared to most of the post on here but here is my predicament.
I am student at a major university. I receive financial aid to cover most if my school expenses, but I am responsible for everything my FAFSA doesn't cover. I was basically let-go from my job for this semester due to a lack of available work. I received my last paycheck a few weeks back and I have been living conservatively on that while I have been looking for another part time job. The issue I am having is that I have about $850 in credit-card debt from textbooks and my electricity bills. I have around $250 left to my name in my checking account. I have been searching endlessly for another part-time job, but every interview I have is shot down, due to my limited availability with class. I am taking 18 credit hours, all from about 1-6 daily, and every employer I speak with tell me that my availability is too limited (keep in mind that I am applying for grocery stores, restaurants, clothing stores, etc). I am stressing out over this whole thing I am not sure what to do. Any and all advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you all again.
TL;DR: | $850 in debt.$250 in checking. Recently unemployed. Searching for job. "Schedule is not flexible enough." |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Boyfriend Wants to Move in With Me?
POST: I am 21 F and my boyfriend is also 21. We both are in college and we have been seeing each other for about 5 months.
The other day he said "WE should buy a king-sized bed" (emphasis added) while we were hanging out. Then, the next day, he said, "I'm looking for a one bedroom apartment to move into next semester" out of the blue. Using "we should buy a..." and hinting at what his plans are for living next semester kind of made me think that maybe he wants to move in with me for next semester. Unfortunately, I did not ask him if that is what he meant right then.
As he is out of town this weekend, I have not brought this up with him. When he comes back, I am going to ask him whether or not that is what he meant when he gets back.
If he does want to move in with me, would that completely destroy our relationship? Is less than a year of dating too early to move in together?
TL;DR: | I think my boyfriend wants to move in with me and I don't know how to react if he does want to move in with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My relationship feels like a lie and it's stressing me out and making me sad.
POST: I've been in a long term relationship for the past almost 5 years (got together when she as 18 I was 22). We live together, get along great and she's got the rest of her life planned out with me. I'm not certain my plans are the same and it's eating away at me to the point of mild depression, diminished libido and borderline self destructive behaviour. (which probably doesn't help the first 3 issues)
We both have stable jobs/careers and I've pretty much supported her since we met as far as getting through school and stuff.
We first met at a party I threw to celebrate my last week of classes and I didn't even notice her. She came back the next weekend and ended up in my bedroom. We started hanging out after that, and about a month in she told me she was falling for me and that if I was having any second thoughts that I should tell her right then. I did have some, but I didn't tell her. I didn't want to hurt her feelings and I liked having a girlfriend. Several months later she moved to a nearby city (1.5 hrs or so to drive) with a friend and needed a roommate. I resisted (I'd have to find a new job and I was enjoying the distance from her clinglyness) but eventually relented. Over the years we've become very reliant on each other and have had a ton of good times but there is a deadness inside me, and I don't like it. I see how much she loves me and I feel like a monster for not being able to heartfeltly reciprocate.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to approach breaking up, or even if that's the right thing to do.
TL;DR: | my relationship feels like a lie and it's stressing me out and making me sad. And it's all me. Please ask any questions that might clarify or help you help me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by asking "What for?"
POST: *This happened a few days ago in the evening.*
**CONTEXT**
So I work as a receptionist at an English school for (mainly Latino) adults. It's quite small and I, as the receptionist, have to deal with the customers (translating/retailing the course). I also have to make sure windows are closed and dealing with certain requests (e.g. refilling the sugar/water cups/cashing up - the usual). As we are a small business, I have to keep track of what happens to some items when they go missing and report it to the manager, as well as thinking on the spot for a solution.
**THE FU**
It's break time at the school and a friendly lady asks me where the toilet is. I direct her to the doors and she goes in. A few moments later, she bursts out the toilet to my desk and asks if I have toilet paper. This obviously struck me as quite odd since I assumed the cleaner would've refilled the toilet paper in the afternoon. So I, without thinking, ask her "What for?"
She looks at me perplexed, and at the same time quite angrily and replies in Spanish "too poop, obviously".
My face went all red as I fumbled through the cabinets looking for toilet paper and give it to her whilst muttering "perdon". She snatches it from me and marches towards the toilet.
Yeah... She isn't going to be "a friendly lady" anymore...
TL;DR: | Lady asks for toilet paper, I ask her "what for?" she gets pissed off and I end up realising I just asked someone why they need toilet paper for the toilet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How bad is it to ask your girlfriend to lose weight? I'm 19m she's 18. We've been together 2 years.
POST: She's always getting onto me to get contact lenses, she says I'd look much better with contact lenses. This is kind of insulting.
There's no nice way of saying this but she has let herself go a little bit and I'm all for a girl with more meat on her bones and none of this size zero bollocks but that's not to say I want my girlfriend to put weight on.
Anyway she's always saying I'd look so much better with contact lenses so what's the harm in saying I'd like to see you drop a dress size?
We've been together 2 years.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend says I'd be so much more attractive with contact lenses, so is it so wrong to ask her to drop a bit of weight? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Hey Reddit, I am suffering from all kinds of joint pains that don't seem to go away. Any insight?
POST: I know I should perhaps visit a doctor but I cannot afford to see one right now. :( Also, I apologize for the wall of text.
I have had pretty bad knee pains and neck pains for years. I've learned to manage them, although at times they hinder my ability to function. Unfortunately, over the last 6 months or so, I've developed several more joint pains.
I got bursitis in my right shoulder, which I went to therapy for (using the last of my money). Even though I kept up with the exercises and therapy sessions it never went fully away, and as soon as I ceased therapy (lack of funds) it came back. During therapy I began to notice pain in my left shoulder, asked the therapist and he said it's nothing. A month later today and it hurts just as bad as my right one.
Also, I've developed really bad pains in my elbows. i asked my girlfriend's cousin, a medical student, and she said it was tennis elbow (or golfers, I forgot which). On both elbows.
Meanwhile, I also have pains in my wrists, enough to where my hands go numb. Also, all my joints pop, crack, sometimes with sharp pains. My knee and neck (upper back) pains never went away and now I'm a mess of pain. I'm a 20 year old male. Because of all this (or perhaps another issue) I'm always lacking energy and feeling pretty down.
I used to wrestle in high school, with my knee and neck problems and it was manageable. I also weightlifted and I could handle it. Now I can barely do anything at all without pain, whether it be close a door or empty a grocery bag.
TL;DR: | Developing pains in most of my joints, including tendon/tissue inflammation. I don't know why as I'm not doing anything that would seemingly cause this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I let my girlfriend sleep at another guys house?
POST: So my girlfriend texts me today asking me if I would mind or be jealous if she slept over at her ex-boyfriends house with another guy because "she knows I get jealous easily". She reassures me that she's not interested in her ex-boyfriend (of 7 months) anymore because they broke up 8 months ago and she certainly isn't keen on the other guy because he's her bestfriend.
My friends have mostly told me that I should mind because I'm her boyfriend and her ex-boyfriend seems to still have feelings for her. I'm friends with the 2 guys but not close enough with them to feel comfortable with it.
My girlfriend recently had a fight with her group of girls and they all have sleepovers without her now so I feel mean telling her she can't go sleepover with these guys.
Anyway, my question is should I let/feel comfortable with my girlfriend sleeping over with 2 guys at their house.
TL;DR: | = girlfriend wants to sleepover at ex-boyfriends house with another guy, reassures me she has no feelings for either, asks me if I would be jealous/mind. Should I? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [FINAL UPDATE] My[24F] father in law [67M] does not understand boundaries and is disrespectful
POST: Hey Reddit. This will be my final update to the saga (previous update [here](
I'll try to keep this as short as I can. My father in law wrote back to my husband today and it was an essay full of "you" statements that contained:
- guilt tripping
- more elaborate blaming using my mother in law and brother in law in untrue statements to hurt my husband - eg. your brother used to abuse you and it turned you hostile to me
- saying that he (father in law) has tons of friends and have offended no one else EVER
- everyone else can see that my husband is the only one being rude and disrespectful to him and not the other way around
The whole thing concluded with my father in law saying he is who he is and cannot change and wrote an elaborate goodbye which included "you clearly find me a regrettable burden to your life" and "you reject me as your father". Neither of those things were said nor implied, he is just trying to increase the drama.
I wrote to my mother in law telling her that we would still like to maintain a relationship with her and I explained our point of view (including that her husband was using her name to hurt my husband) just in case he was feeding her another story.
I seriously hope this is the end. I picture my father in law as an octopus, swimming around in an ocean of "I'm always right" and "I have tons of friends" while each of his 8 legs are carrying "Nope, you're wrong" or "I am who I am" and he just flings them at you as fast as he can and occasionally he'll squirt out "your brother abused you" and swim away while you're blinded by shock.
TL;DR: | father in law blames my husband for everything and uses mother in law and brother in law's names in untrue statements to hurt my husband |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my bf [18M]. How do I know he difference between crazy and justified?
POST: This is a general question that can apply to all relationships, but I was just wondering how I know if I'm being crazy or if my feelings are justifiable?
I tend to be a jealous and very paranoid person. Realizing this, I want to know where I should draw the line in what to say and do with my SO. I don't want to alienate him and cause him to think I'm overbearing.
Lately, I've been feeling like he's been paying less attention to me. Even typing this sentence on a throwaway makes me feel silly. I know a boyfriends job isn't to pay constant attention to his SO, but were in an ldr and he's my best friend, and in the city I'm in I have no friends. I try to be understanding and give him his space, but he's the only person I can really talk to. He deserves more than some crazy, desperate bitch making him feel bad for having a life (which I haven't been at all to his face, but the fact that I'm sitting on reddit worrying about my boyfriend makes me feel like a crazy, desperate bitch)
I also wanna know in general how I can realize when I'm being being unfair to him. I love this guy. We're young and I don't wanna scare him so I haven't told him and I don't know if he feels the same, but I think I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, and I don't wanna ruin that just because I occasionally get lonely.
TL;DR: | how can I know the difference between me being demanding and him slacking off? I can't decide whether to suck up my problems or to say something about it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend (29 M) still lives with his parents and follows them around everywhere. Am I (27 F) wasting my time here?
POST: I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 8 months, at first things were great - he was gorgeous and funny and we had great chemistry and that was all I needed at the beginning. However, the more time I spend with him the more I realise he is weirdly attached to his family, especially his mother.
He still lives with both his parents, his mother gives him a lift to work in the morning and she manages his appointments for him, cleans his bathroom, washes his clothes and cooks for him. He doesn't pay any rent (in spite of him having a really well paid job at an investment bank) and instead spends most of his money on weed. His parents have even built an extension at the back of their house solely for he and his brother (both stoners) to smoke in.
He spends a lot of social time with his parents as well and they text each other all day when they're not together, which again I think is sweet but they are SO close that I find it unsettling. They both treat him like a child in spite of the fact that he's almost 30. I've talked to him about his future plans because I really love him and care for him but he's insisting he never wants to leave home! Which makes me seriously wonder if there is any future for us.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend who is almost 30 is overly close to his parents and doesn't want to leave the nest, ever. Am I wasting my time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 F] with my Abusive Ex Husband [35 M] Social media whinging after our breakup, I want to tell my story but I don't want to ruin his reputation forever.
POST: I just got out of a marriage (separated, not yet signed papers) with an emotionally manipulative and physically abusive husband.
We are both sort of public figures who built our reputation as a married couple with 40k+ followers on twitter/insta/fb and after I left, he's been on a self pitying public grieving session. His twitter is full of cryptic tweets that people can imply the fallout of our relationship, but he has yet to call me out directly for anything specific. He posts sad quotes and pictures of sad people (JGL in 500 days of summer, Don Draper Mad Men)
I took a different direction where I basically did not post about the relationship at all and have been performing business as usual on all social media. I feel like this appears like I'm a heartless bitch who dumped him, and has no feelings about it. When the truth is that I just don't feel like it's anyone's business except the people I choose to share that info with.
And I know this is an awful impulse, but I see all the people who are running to him and telling him things will be okay and trying to comfort him and I get sort of angry. He beat me and emotionally abused me for years and I'm protecting his reputation. I could post the pictures of my bruises or even do cryptic tweets back, but I know I shouldn't and it's a bad idea for all involved.
I know I shouldn't do this either, but part of me worries about his next girlfriend. I got with him when I was just 18yo and based on his talent and reputation I have a feeling a naive fangirl is going to try and get with him and suffer.
I guess I just want someone to help me sort out these feelings and emphasize what a BAD IDEA it is to give into these terrible and base desires.
TL;DR: | Ex is having a very public grieving session on social media. I want to post about the abuse I suffered but I don't want to ruin his life. Talk me down reddit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Can women read guys this easily?
POST: Let me apologize beforehand, this might be a bit unorganized and long but I'm just going off the top of my head because this just happened.
Hi gals, I just got done talking with a girl I work with (we're both 21). Let's call her Karen. To preface the question, here's some background information. I have another friend named Aaron[20/M] who likes a girl named Taylor[22/F] at our workplace.
Aaron just told a few of us that he had feelings for this girl, which shocked a lot of us, except Karen(she's the only girl in the group, while Taylor's in a different group). Karen apparently knew from the first day that Aaron had feelings for the other girl because of "the way he directed his conversation to her". That's a direct quote. THE FIRST DAY.
I've made some possible conclusions in my mind already but I would love to hear some feedback
1) Logical - Karen's quite pretty and has a great personality in my opinion so maybe she has more exposure and knowledge of these situations
2) Karen made a guess on the first day and it translated into reality, or this was a fluke. (But she did say she was 100% sure)
3) woman's intuition?
4) Karen's an evil witch with unholy magic.
In my life, I've been in fights and I've been around gunfire, but NOTHING has scared/shocked me more than what I was just told. I'm just really shocked that she could notice something so subtle so fast because nobody else knew.
TL;DR: | To all the women on here, I need help understanding how this works. Can y'all really read a guy that easily? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: How do I get my EIGHT YEAR OLD to sleep in her own bedroom??
POST: I am tearing my hair out right now!!!
Background: Having left my (now) ex husband when my daughter was 18 months old, I had to stay with my mother for a year until I got back on my feet.
A few moves later and we make a habit of just getting a one-bedroom apartment to save money (and we really didn't need the extra room at that time). So my daughter, from age 1.5-7.5 slept with me in my bed about 70% of the time.
Four months ago I finally rented a two-bedroom. She has her own bed, own pretty duvet, etc. For a night or two after having set up her room, she was excited to sleep in it.
Now she's 8. I've been trying without much success to have her sleep in her own room, but EVERY NIGHT is a fight; whining, consequences, etc. Ultimately we both eventually collapse at 2:30 AM, me in my room and she in hers.
I just can't deal with this every night! I'm the type of parent who has always put her foot down and up until she was 7, my daughter has been very amiable... but now EVERYTHING is a fight. I can deal with most of it during the day, but I'm so tempted every night to just give in.
I've tried letting her sleep in my room on the condition that she get no pillow and no cover. Doesn't work. I've talked to her about what we can do to make her room more comfortable, and nothing came of that. I even went as far as to lock my bedroom door, but she ended up having a breakdown and I didn't want her to wake the neighbors.
HELP ME!!!! What are your ideas to help me get this kid to sleep in HER OWN ROOM????
TL;DR: | How do I get my daughter, who is used to sleeping with me, to sleep in her own bed? It's a battle every night! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: There is a brown recluse in my room right now, I'm freaking the fuck out. How can I protect myself and kill it?
POST: 1:30 am now.
About 2 days ago, a brown recluse glided right down with its web string right next to me as I was sitting on my computer chair. I quickly grabbed an object near me as it was still going down before landing on my desk. This object just happens to be a lint roller which isn't that bad of a weapon I thought. As it comes down and lands, I just smash and roll the lint roller around the area where it supposedly lands for about a good 10 seconds while screaming. When I stop, I thought I got it, but there's nothing there, no carcass, no blood, no legs, nothing. I freak out for a bit, knowing that it got away but calm down later.
About 2 hours ago today, I saw something zooming right from behind my laptop to the edge of the desk. It had to be the same spider. By the time I jump up from my chair and look around for it, I see it already on the floor of my room. I hesitate for a bit to grab my cup still with water in it to trap it. I leave my room for a few seconds to grab another container to trap it only for it to be gone again.
So right now, its freaking 1:35am as I type this, I know it's watching me right now.. just somewhere in my room. Possibly under my carpet or printer (on the floor) or even my tables/stands. I plan on cleaning out some of my junk such as shredding old school papers, fold clothes, clean wires, move printer, etc. But I still can't shake this feeling that it won't be enough. I need to find it and kill it.
So Reddit, what should I do?
P.S. I omitted many other parts where I scream like a little girl and yell at the top of my lungs.
TL;DR: | Found brown recluse in bedroom 2 days ago in computer area, saw it again today, now it's running around all over the floor and room. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my Coworkers [~26+/-5 F] Want to ask them to movies, don't know if it would be weird.
POST: A few months back I made plans to see the new Tarantino movie with a couple friends(both guys, totally platonic) They were on a trip up north and bailed on me to watch it then. I would strongly prefer to see it with someone else. I work with 5 people around my age. One I don't talk to much as they are quiet. Another(the one guy of the five) has seen the movie already. I don't know about they other three, but I was going to ask and see. I do like these three girls, and would gladly go on a date with them, and i'm sure they know that. I don't intend this to be a date really. I'm worried if I don't ask them as a group then when one says no they will think I'm just going down the line looking for a date. I'm not really sure what I should think of the situation. Right now I'm thinking I should pick one and ask them on a date and if that fails look elsewhere for someone to go with. I'm confused about the whole thing really and was just hoping to talk it out. I've already asked a few other friends, they have been busy or have already seen it.
TL;DR: | Don't want to go to the movies alone. Afraid of being the creepy coworker with a crush on everyone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (20F) boyfriends roommate is cheating on his girlfriend of 3 months, do I tell?
POST: Ages all the same. Gonna keep this short because there's not much info needed.
My boyfriend told me that he heard his roommate having sex with someone 4 times in the last 24 hours, and said roommate's girlfriend is on holiday so it is definitely not her. I've only met the roommate and his girlfriend 2/3 times. Boyfriend doesn't want to be involved and is happy with whatever decision I make. Do I tell her?
I don't wanna be involved in drama and make my boyfriends flatmates hate me, but also this girl is being cheated on and she deserves to know.
Also if I do tell, which I think I will, how do I do it? She's on holiday, do I ruin her holiday by messaging her? (we're not friend's on FB). Do I wait till she's back? What do I say in the message?
Thanks
TL;DR: | Boyfriend's roommate is cheating on his girlfriend, she's on holiday, do I tell her and how and when? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I suspect that my [28M] girlfriend [24F] is cheating after looking on her phone. Should I break it up / cancel new years plans?
POST: So I have been noticing the disconnect lately between me and my girlfriend. She is going to a different school that is further away. She has been making new friends and has been hanging out with this guy Andy and reassuring me it's no big deal.
I try to be a trusting person but I saw too many of the tell tale signs that she might be cheating such as not showing up to any of the family stuff for Xmas, not answering her phone, saying she is always busy. So I committed the despicable deed of checking her phone. And I see this text thread between Andy and my gf:
Andy: But ya... Dat pussy girl. Soooo fine!
Her: Thanks
Her: Not now but soon
Andy: Not a word.
Andy: And why you got to be such a bad ass!
Her: I woke up like dis. Hit me up later. Muah!
I have an image of the text on the phone but no image posts are allowed so I edited some the contextual stuff out.
It's hard to tell because it is not very clear and maybe out of context but to me this seems like they hooked up and are trying to keep it on the down low until after new years and then she is going to break it off with me for some b.s. reason
Should I just scrap our plans (I have paid about $600 for the hotel and tickets) and break up with her now? Do I come clean about checking her phone?
TL;DR: | Checked my gf's phone and I think she is cheating. Is the evidence enough to cancel plans for new years? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(18f) boyfriend(18M) of 3 years broke things off right before we leave to college.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together since the 10 grade. Before we started dating, he had been my best friend since 7th. He broke up with me out of no where telling me that he "Does't feel the way he used to, he's still in love with me but not enough to pursue a long distance relationship" and he won't change his mind. I honestly right now, feel like something just killed me. I can't eat, I can't breathe at time. I'm afraid to sleep because in my dreams he's always there talking with me. I just came back from my summer semester in college, my FIRST semester in college, so he didn't even have the decency to break up with me in person. He broke up with me 2 days before I came back home.
We never argued in our relationship. We always talked things out the minute they happened. We loved all the same things. He was my best friend and my boyfriend and we would always talk about how we would get married and have children and have puppies. I'm honestly just in shock because all I can think about is why. I can't come to change my relationship status on Facebook because everyone will start asking me what happened especially since we were the couple everyone was "rooting" for. Telling my family has been hard enough because everyone will just start off their sentences with "Where's your other half?" Or "Where the giant bean stock?" Its also important to note that he was my first everything. I lost my virginity to this boy, and also my first kiss, my first "boyfriend".
Please Reddit, help me. I feel like I'm about to go through one of the darkest times in my life.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of 3 years (each others first) dumped me while i wasn't home right before we both embark into our college lives in different states with no warning. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my bf [21 M] 9 months. How do I make him listen to me?
POST: I'll begin at the begining.
Me and my boyfriend met on an internet game, and we hit it off right away. After talking for a few months online and a lot of Skype Calls, we met up. We were living a 4 hours drive away, so couldn't see each other that often. He was a student, and I was out of work due to health problems. He knew about these before we met.
Anyways, a month later we started dating, we would Skype every night and got on like a house on fire.
I went to his once a month for 6 months. Then we decided we would move to a town between us to live together so we could see each other more often.
To begin with it was great, he would help around the house, the sex was great, then everything stopped.
All he does all day is play on his
TL;DR: | How do I talk to him to get him to listen to me? How do I aproach the sex problem? What would you do in my situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [23F] stuck after break up with boyfriend [33M]
POST: My boyfriend and I dated for 2.5 years, and we moved in together at the beginning of this year. We had a nice house, and a puppy and I got comfortable. I work in a nursing home and I'm a senior in college, and both of those stress me out a lot, especially work. I'm surrounded by dying people all day and lazy coworkers who don't give a shit about the residents. It really brings me down. I am a lot less happy than I was before I started working there, but I need this job to get a job when I'm done with college in a few months. He broke up with me because I didn't appreciate him enough and I was snippy, I was basically just a crappy girlfriend. It's been 3 months now, and I can't really get over it. But I don't want to. I'm not depressed, I've been depressed before. I'm just sad but I don't want to go back to normal. I wanted to marry him and he broke up with me because I was a dickhead. I really wish he would have given me another chance after talking to me about this, because it made me more aware of the problem. I want to change and get better, and admittedly part of that is because of him, but it's also because I need to start looking at jobs, and being happy and perky and that's tough to do at the moment, well tough to be sincere about it. I just feel really bad but I don't want to be happy aside from getting a job. I kind of like being miserable because I was a crappy girlfriend to a wonderful man. I honestly wish I never met him because I know I'm always gonna be in love with him and it sucks. Even if I get happy I'm not gonna get over him. We were good together, but I just didn't appreciate it and it's probably done for good now.
TL;DR: | had a good boyfriend but my poor stress management pushed him away, and I don't want to get over it but I need to so I can get a job and feed my puppy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [22/F] of 4 years told me she is no longer attracted to me [24/M] anymore
POST: Hello, this is my first post and since I am hopeless and consider reddit to be full of nice people I would like to ask you for help.
I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years and just recently she told me she was no longer attracted to me - mentally or physically. We live together for 3 years.
To me she is a goddess. I buy her flowers, I hug her and kiss her everyday. I help her with everything. Well, everything one should do when he/she is in love. I do not have to push myself to do it. It just feels right to give her the best of me. We never really fought too much.
She is really smart, nice, inspiring...and I totally love her.
Yesterday she told me that she no longer feels anything towards me. She said she felt really sorry about it, but it was going on like this for a quite long time and she could not take it and had to tell me about it. She is a reasonable person and told me she would like to find a solution, but it is hard since she no longer feels any "spark" when it comes to us. She feels like we are just best friends. We laugh together at the same things and we enjoy many things together. We understand each other, but there no longer is any spark, as she mentioned it. I can feel that we miss something, but do not know what. I think I am doing my best and giving her the best I can.
I feel really upset about it, as I am aware of the situation. I understand it can mean an end to our relationship. I cried for the fist time since my grandma died and it felt really strange. I have realized, that without my girlfriend there would be a huge hole in me. I do not know what to do. It seems stupid to try even harder and impress her with something. Or to ignore her.
Is it because of me? Am I just boring or something like that? What can be the cause of this?
Please give me any advice what to do as I am lost.
TL;DR: | I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years and just recently she told me she is no longer attracted to me - mentally or physically. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Please help, I just adopted a dog and now I'm freaking out. Worried if I can do this.
POST: Its a tale as old as time, yesterday we went to a shelter "just to look" and fell in love. My boyfriend and I both work a lot, so we needed a medium energy dog that could be ok with a dogwalker or daycare during the day. Even though it was a no-kill shelter, they sort of pressured us, saying he was likely to get adopted right away since he's so great. We met him and he was cool as a cucumber, a little bigger than we wanted at 50lbs, but super chill. Then within 20 minutes we were walking out with him and he was going nuts, had obviously never been on a leash before, had TONS of energy- very different than what we thought we were getting into (the shelter doesn't do walk-meetings for some reason). I instantly had a near panic attack- this was way over our heads, and I'm terrified. Flash forward to this morning. He's for the most part great, he's just going to need a lot more training and energy and time than I think we prepared ourselves for. One minute we think we should bring him back-he would get adopted again in a heartbeat. The next we're planning out ways to make it work. We've put ourselves in a terrible position and I can't figure out what to do. Please tell me other owners- did you go through anything like this? Whether you returned the dog or kept it, I would love to know. Thank you
TL;DR: | Adopted a dog and may have bit off more than we chew- should we cut our losses or keep him and figure it out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need advise on my (24, m) relationship.
POST: I've (24,M) been dating my fiance (25,F) for almost 2 years. We've had a few arguments over the past few weeks, but nothing too big. Mostly financial or usual relationship fights.
Lately she's been very hostile towards me saying things like "I'd do anything to make you go away and not come back" or just "I hate you". Whenever I try talking to her she says she's pushing everyone away, but I'm the stubborn one who wont go away. Around this time last year she lost her grandfather (who she was very close to).
I have a 3 year old son, who loves her, and for the past two years we've considered ourselves a little family.
She has Addison's Disease and its gotten so bad that she's had to go to a doctor recently, but I'm not too familiar with the disease to know if its causing her hostility.
Please, guys. I love this community, and I know your advise is usually incredible. Help me know what to do.
TL;DR: | Fiance (F) has recently gotten very hostile towards me and claims she's pushing everyone away to be alone. Not sure if holiday depression or complications from a disease she has. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I'm extremely tired and at work. The combo leaves me with this question.
POST: What should I do? Anything. I'll do it. 23,000 times.
But seriously. I work in a billing department and I don't think people understand me. Not because I have an accent or anything. They just don't understand. I'm not gonna say which company but I will say this: It's a **MAJOR** one. We only work with one state and it's not a very... educated one. I won't say which because I know not ALL people from this state are like that. But usually the people I deal with don't know what the tits is going on. It could be the products and services we sell just attract that demographic. Anyways, what are some of the telecommunications stories you have? Whether you be the customer or the agent, what happened?
TL;DR: | I'm a bored billing agent for a major company and I get extremely strange calls. What calls have you received/made that made you say WTF? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: [Personal] I'm fed up of friends that won't commit.
POST: Hi,
Specific town names etc removed to avoid any risk of someone this concerns reading this.
So, I used to live in a city on the south cost of the UK. I grew up there, school, college and 3 years of working in an office there. I wasn't a lonely person, I had a large group of friends from school/college/work etc.
In 2014, I decided I wanted to go back and study in University and the best offer I got was about 150km away. I accepted it, and I'm now just about to enter my second year. Things are good here, good group of friends etc.
Now, the issue is that my friends back where I used to live - I come back often to see family and try to see them when I could. Unfortunately, family passed away now, so my only reason to go back is to see my old friends. However, whenever I plan to come down, once I've arrived they make excuses and won't even meet up for a coffee.
I'm a student, and I don't exactly have a lot of money. It isn't cheap (almost two weeks of my food budget) to come that far, and it's depressing that I turn up for everyone to let me down.
So, I'd like some advice - what would you recommend? Should I confront them and ask them why they won't take even half hour out to see me? Or should I accept the hints being given, and that I was more a friend of circumstance?
TL;DR: | moved from city a to city b, whenever I return to city a old friends never available to see me. Unsure if bs or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm a 22F with a boyfriend of a similar age. Should I forgive or dump if he ignores me?
POST: So my boyfriend told me to come over to hang out with his friend. I ended up being ignored throughout most of this evening. I felt really hurt by it and even though they kept asking me if I was bored, I didn't want to be rude in front of his guest so I said I was fine and made a comment about what they were talking about. Still, I feel I was treated disrespectfully on my boyfriend's part. I don't mind him having his bro time on his own. I understand wanting to spend time with your long time friends. However, this incident really had me thinking if I was the one being needy, and I don't think I am because I let him hang out and do as he pleases without complaint. I am the type that usually let's people walk all over me so for once I want to not be that person. I know also very well that you can't change a person, so I don't know even if I talk to him about it he would not do it again.
TL;DR: | ! I guess my question is should I dump him or try to talk it through although he might do it (ignore me in front of his friend) again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is my sister in danger from all this medication?
POST: I'll try to explain as concisely as possible. My sister age 14, is diagnosed with asperger's. My mother has always been a little over confident in drugs, she has had my two younger brothers on medication and me as well. The older of my younger brothers, age 24 and myself, 28, no longer take medication and feel we were misdiagnosed and that our mother is a "solve it with a pill" kinda person. I want to know if reddit thinks my sister could be in danger from all the medicine she is taking. See the list of medications and doses below, and thank you for taking the time to read this.
1.Perphenazine 4 mg Dr. A
2.BusPIRone 5mg Dr. A
3.BusPIRone 10 mg Dr. A
4.Lorazepam 1mg Dr. B
5.Desmpressin 0.2 mg (DDAVP) Dr. B
6.Metformin 500 mg Dr. B
7.ProAir HFA (albuterol sulfate) Dr. C
8.EVENING PRIMROSE OIL 500MG (HERBAL) Dr. Mom
TL;DR: | My mom might be crazy with how many drugs she is giving my sister who is diagnosed with Asperger's, an autism spectrum disorder. Her case is mild she functions quite normally. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am [23/m] I asking too much from my girlfriend [22/f]? Advice appreciated.
POST: Our relationship has been going for a little over 9 months. Before we started dating I was in the military and now I'm a civilian going to college. Before I started school in January I had a full-time job. Now that I'm in school I'm working about 3 days per week. The amount of hours I get workd fine for me, it gives me time to work on school work and I'm not hurting for money because I have savings and I receive a housing allowance because of my military service using the GI Bill.
She has no problem with how much I work. But its her family that has a huge problem with it. They feel I should work full time and go to school full time. But Im not doing that. There's no reason to.
Because I don't work enough in their eyes I'm a terrible person and they even go as far as blaming me for the problems their daughter is having. She forgot to do something? My faults. She doesn't know what she wants to do after she finishes college? My fault. Etc. Then they have the nerve to criticize every single thing I do or say. I get no respect from them.
I told her unless she tells them that I want to feel respected and welcomed into their home, I will not be going to her house. She thinks its my responsibility to talk to them about it. Even though if she was in my situation she would expect me to talk to my parents about the problem.
Who should it be that talks to her parents? Am I wrong for taking a stand and not going there if I feel that I'm disrespected? Am I being reasonable in being upset about how they treat me? Much advice is appreciated. Thank you.
TL;DR: | girlfriends parents disrespect me. I asked her to talk to them about how I feel. She feels I should talk to them. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Scum Bag Gym.
POST: I canceled my membership in December, pay the early termination fee, sign papers saying our contract is terminated and I no longer owe them money. FWIW, I paid the termination fee with my debit card, so it's linked to my bank account.
I read the entire contract because I wanted to make sure they won't charge me again. Not only did I talk with the manager on duty, I looked online as well and it states that once you terminate they don't charge anything else. The termination contract is dated and signed but two people (me + manager).
I have two checking accounts: one for bills that I don't touch, one for money I can spend. My bank has text notifications that notify me when my "bills" account is used, so if I don't get the text I can go online and pay whatever bill is due. I get a text yesterday saying that two payments came out, and they were both from the gym: a month's membership, and yearly dues. It's over $300. Not to mention, yearly dues are owed in November and it's a one-time charge that I paid. This is clearly stated in the sign up contract I signed.
I've been unemployed for four months and right now I'm only working part time. I terminated my contract because I can't afford it. This completely fucked my budget up. Now I don't have enough to pay my car payment and I need to ask a few friends if the can spot be a couple hundred or be late on a payment until fuck knows when.
Should I talk to a lawyer? I have a copy of my start up contract, I have a copy of the contract they have when I terminated my membership. I haven't thrown any shit away because I was scared something like this would happen.
Thanks for any advice!!
TL;DR: | Signed a termination contract with a gym, made TRIPLE SURE they would not charge me more after terminating, was charged for two things, should I lawyer up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my BF [26M] of a year. I'm dealing with shadows from a past relationship and it's hurting my bf.
POST: I've been in a relationship for one year. The one before this was long and emotionally toxic. When I met my current bf I hadn't fully gotten over my ex. He was fully aware of this and insisted he still wanted to go ahead with the relationship. I laid out what I was still struggling with and he didn't care.
Since then I've been healing though due to the length of the last relationship and damage I took (sort of speak), I still struggle here and there. I talk about it here and there with my current bf (maybe once a month or something), and although it's been getting better it hurts my bf whenever I talk about it (understandably).
Now I don't really 'rant'. Sometimes he will see I'm sad and if he asks I'll mention if it has something to do with my previous relationship but nothing more. It never leads to a fight or anything. But I know he's hurt. I have no intention of getting back with ex, I don't even talk to him or have any social media with him. I've been told by professionals I may be struggling with Stockholm syndrome-like feelings that a lot of abusive women develop (nothing that requires extensive therapy but I don't know how else to describe it). I'm getting better but I know talking about my ex makes my bf insecure, even if I just harbour resentment for my ex.
Most people will say I'm not ready for a relationship. I agree to a certain degree. But my BF doesn't want to break up. I'm riddled with guilt. Not sure if what I'm doing is right or am I going to destroy the one good thing that's happened to me in so long. I'm very grateful for my bf for putting himself out there and being there for me while I'm recovering. I'm very conflicted.
TL;DR: | Not entirely over ex because of past abuse but bf insists on maintaining relationship. Is it right? How do I make it easier for him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (25M)fell in love with my best friend (24F) and I'm afraid I will lose her if I tell her.
POST: She is the Greatest Person I have ever met in my entire Life and this is what breaks my Heart. She is in a serious Relationship with a good Friend of mine so I can't tell her and because Iam afraid how she reacts but if I don't tell her I'm not sure how long I can keep this up. Everytime she hugs me or our hands touch my damn heart flips and I can't tell her.
What am I supposed to do here ?
I never thought I would ever end up in this kind of Situation. Reddit please this one time I really really need your help. I need an Opinion that tells me the cold truth even if I don't like it because I'm afraid I can't think clearly because of her.
I never thought I'll love someone again after I broke up with my first Girlfriend. Then it happens and of course it is the One Girl that I can't reach.
I hate myself so much right now. Iam very desperate for advice here..
TL;DR: | fell in love with best friend shes in a relationship with a good friend and can't tell her my feelings because I'm afraid to lose her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Need help picking a baby shower present for someone who may hate me.
POST: About a year ago, I made an accusation about my cousin (true or not is irrelevant) that created a huge problem in my family. Basically my side of the family hasn't spoken to her side of the family for about a year. Now my cousin is having a baby and is having a shower pretty soon that I can't attend because of work. Our families have pretty much made up except for me because of one reason or another so they are attending. I would like to send a gift with a sentimental card apologizing and such but I don't know what to send her. Should I get her a gift she has registered for? Or should I go for something nice that would show my interest in fixing our relationship?
TL;DR: | Haven't spoken to my cousin in over a year because of a fight. Don't know what to get her for a baby shower. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Shit, idk what to do with my friend
POST: Alright so this is gonna be kinda long. So i have this friend and she has a brother and i had a crush on him for about a year. I knew him and had a crush on him before i met his sister(she is a year younger than me) and last year i tried to ask him out but he politely declined, but we still remained friends anyways and i acted like it never happened, at the time.
My best friend became friends with his sister and eventually i started hanging out with her too. She ended up being really cool so i slowly became closer to her as friends. Then for a few months things went on as usual with her brother and i even hung out at his house with both of them as i started becoming better friends with his sister. Then in these last few months he started ignoring me (we used to text everyweek, even after he told me no). Now i am really good friends with his sister(we even went to an amusement park together a few weeks ago), but now she is inviting me on a weekend trip with her family and i know her brother is gonna go and idk what to do. Btw he started ignoring me first and i havent talked to him in a month even though we go to the same school, he just avoids me on purpose. He is also socially awkward, but we used to be friends so idk what happened.
TL;DR: | Former crush is best friends brother, now he ignoring me and their family is inviting me on a sleepover trip with them, idk what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do you need to know the reason why your lover breaks up with you? [19M]
POST: My girlfriend broke up with me a 6 months ago. She was my first and I haven't seen anyone else since then. I'm a dorky geek. It still hurts a lot.
My girlfriend broke up with me saying she had this illness, fibromylagia. It was really weird. But we were so happy together and I don't know what happened. It just ended just like that. She told me to let her go. She blocked me.
She told me to leave her alone. That hurt a lot. She said I did nothing wrong. What went wrong? I just wish I knew what happened.
My question is, do you need to know what happened? Do you need to know in order to get closure? I'm guessing no, but does it help? I wish she broke up with me because I was too needy or something. Not because of an illness. Did she lie? Questions like that I think about. It hurts so much sometimes. I'm just so damn curious about what the fuck went wrong, you know? I want to know what happened. I feel like I need to know. I was so happy with her, how could this have happened?
But then like, just move on. I know. That's what you are supposed to do. I will eventually, find another gal and be happy again I guess. But I feel like I will forever wonder about this woman. Like, what exactly happened. I feel like snooping, but that is fucked up. That's called stalking, and gentleman don't do that shit.
I actually went around asking her friends on facebook, and she contacted me telling me to stop. And told me she wished me well but to leave her alone. Why? I thought she loved me, what went wrong? What did I do wrong? She won't say, and I hate thinking because she is sick. I just want to know and get closure so badly.
But I'm guessing...that is just how life works sometimes? Right?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend broke up with me telling me she was sick and I don't know whether she is lying or not, and won't give me the details. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16M] have had some... feelings for a friend [16F] ever since I met her, and I need some help
POST: Hey Reddit, I could use... assistance.
This friend, henceforth known as C, I have known for years. By this I mean most of my life. We both went to the same infants, primary, and highschool (UK education system). I've always *liked* her, as she was the only person nice to me early on in life. To be fair, I was kind of a jerk back then, but I digress. She helped me through a lot.
Over time, I liked her more and more, but she... it's on and off. Every six months or so we'd fluctuate between being friends or being acquaintances, thanks to *my* social anxiety. Currently, we are friends.
Now, the whole school knows that I like her. That is no debate. Everyone, including C herself, knows this. I've had my fair share of crushes over the years, but what I feel for her is... different. I've talked to others about this, and they have told me that what I'm feeling is love. That *terrifies* me.
I would do the whole confession of love thing, but A) I'm not even sure it *is* love, but it's surely stronger than I've felt for anyone else, B) I'm totally incapable in terms of self-confidence, and I'd probably choke, C) I fear that if it goes tits-up, it would ruin my life. We see eachother on a daily basis, and word would get round *fast*. Everyone I know would know about it within a week, and to quote the great Marty McFly, 'I mean, I just don't think I can take that kind of rejection.'
This could make or break my entire life, and it's killing me every time I talk to her. I cannot avoid, I cannot ignore, and I cannot keep on living like this.
Help.
TL;DR: | Socially incompetent teen's crush develops into (possible) love, but can't get courage to do anything about it. Wat do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my "friend" [29 M]- left me heartbroken
POST: A couple of days ago, I made a post in r/needafriend. I received a LOT of responses but there was one person who I got to know that really, really peaked my interest. Not quite in a romantic manner but as a friend. Let's call him Dave. Dave was married and had children with his wife. He was not used to having women as friends because he knew nothing other than his wife.
Dave was also in recovery. I can't share with what because I feel like I would be breaching a level of trust between us. Anyway, he decided to talk to his "mentor" about the relationship between him and I. His mentor had suggested to him that he doesn't feel he
s in a position to be trying to build a friendship with me right now. He took his mentor's advice and said goodbye abruptly to me last night. I am at a loss because I feel like I've never had such a genuine friendship in my life. I feel heartbroken. I know I am usually the person who's giving the advice but I truly don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Had an amazing friendship like nothing I've ever had before and it was ended abruptly due to mentor's advice. What should I do? Should I try to talk to him about it or let it be? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Issues dealing with Amazon refusing to refund a missing order
POST: So i've been dealing with Amazon for over a week not trying to get a refund for an order I placed. I purchased an Olympus EM5II and Olympus 17mm. One item was shipped via On-Trac and the other was shipped via UPS. I didn't receive either shipment and immediately filed claims with Amazon. I've been calling every other day and each rep has tried to give me the run around asking me to check back later and today a supervisor finally told me that Amazon would not be refunding me because of the amount of the order. I've had shipments go missing in the past and have constantly requested signature requirement for all packages and on occasion they do. I'm not always at home and there's a lot of foot traffic around my neighborhood, but at this point i'd rather not blame anybody. I just want to know what my options are now because this is utterly ridiculous and there shouldn't be any way that Amazon can get away with something like this right?
TL;DR: | I'm out about $1400 right now and Amazon has refused to refund me or take responsibility. What do I do now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Whats a good punishment for my irresponsible roomate?
POST: This guy's been one of my good friends for a few years, but he absolutely refuses to grow up, he's like a 5 year old and it wasn't until we moved in together that I realized how bad it was. He leaves his shoes in the middle of the hallway, his room is disgusting and at last count had 24 old fast food bags laying around on his floor along with clothes and other garbage, and my biggest problem is that he leaves the door to the house unlocked every time he leaves, although when he gets home, he locks the front door, and his room door behind him. Well today, for the fourth time, he left the door completely open. I'm sick of this, I've tried asking him, yelling at him, even buying him dinner the one time he locked the door when he left as encouragement, but nothing works and I'm pissed. Whats a good way for me to get back at him for this? I have a lot of valuable items and although I have pictures of them and insurance, I do NOT want my stuff stolen.
TL;DR: | Roomate refuses to grow up, wont lock door when he leaves and has left it wide open 4 times. What's a good way to get back at him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 25/M currently dating 19/F for about four weeks. What's the easiest method of telling her it's not going to work out?
POST: Been dating about four weeks. She seemed mature when we met up, however after noticing many things, which is rapidly turning immature for me.
One instance is: Twitter, I knew she had this and I try my best to respect peoples privacy but when you come across tweets angrily pointed at you (She happily posted them but didn't tell me anything that she was upset about). I don't know what to think.
Anyway, I know normally in all situations text message is the wrong way to tell people things. Which is why I don't want to take that route. However it's going to be difficult otherwise. Is sending a text at this stage okay?
I only get to see her, pretty much Friday for fifteen minutes and that's it. And should I tell her I found her Twitter feed?
TL;DR: | What is the best way for letting her know it's not going to work out? Phone/Text/Meetup? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Me [30M] going through rough times with wife [29F]. Feeling very down and full of despair, can use a pick me up.
POST: My wife and I have been together for almost ten years, married for 7. We've been going through some very difficult relationship struggles for a while now and things are wearing on me. We have a pattern where things will be ok, but then there will be some sort of catalyst (I forget to do something, or she feels angry or upset about something) that gets her very upset with me because I'm unable to really understand her feelings and unable communicate with her in a way that indicates we're both on the same page. I'll say something inadequate, or passive aggressive, or submissive, which then escalates the situation and causes her to get extremely upset, often to the point of tears, anger, etc. I'll be unable to deal with this, causing me to get upset as well and just completely send the situation spiraling out of control.
I'm very down because I know this pattern exists and try as I might I can't seem to break it. We were working on a two week stretch of positive interaction and foundation building when it all blew up in my face again today, stemming from a minor incident (as it always does) where I failed to anticipate the potential disaster (as I always do), and failed to act appropriately to control the situation and keep it from escalating (as I never do).
I don't want to get divorced, I love her dearly and want to make this work. The fundamental issue in our relationship I believe is that I don't know myself and lack confidence, which makes it so I can't truly communicate and relate to her in a real, intimate way.
I know therapy is good and I have one, I'm just having a hard time battling the despair and depression that comes from constant failure. I would appreciate any advice that could be offered towards fighting this sense of failure and despair, so that I can find the energy and heart to keep trying and pull my marriage out of of the gutter. I'm happy to provide more details in the comments.
TL;DR: | marriage failing due to a pattern of disfunction that I can't seem to break out of. Feeling depressed and despair due to constant failure. Need help not sinking into a hole. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [24F] found my boyfriend [26M] sexting a girl [27F] he hooked up with 4 years ago.
POST: I was playing with my bf's phone when I accidentally opened his Facebook messenger. Out of curiosity, I opened the first one, which was a conversation between him and the girl he hooked up with in Thailand when he studied abroad there in 2011. I have no issues about my boyfriend talking to his exes, and it does not threaten me much since this girl is still in Thailand and my boyfriend often makes fun of her. However, it did bother me when I read the stuff he was messaging him, like what he would do to her sexually if he was with her in Thailand or something. I know he is not emotionally cheating, since he doesn't like the girl. But based on the message thread, he was the one who started the dirty talk. I have not confronted him yet and I don't know whether to let this slide or check the messages again when we meet in a couple of weeks then confront him about it. And if I do, I don't know how without making it sound like I snooped through his phone. Any advice?
TL;DR: | saw some dirty messages on bf's phone to this girl he hooked up with four years ago who is a thousand miles away. Should I check again next time and how do I confront him about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it worth it to start talking to her again? [19m, 18f]
POST: My ex [18] and I [19,m] went out [2.5+ year] since high school (her as a sophomore and me a junior) all the way to college (2nd year for me, 1st quarter of her first year). It was a high school sweetheart relationship, her first serious one and my first one.
I went to college before her and we made it work and her turn came and (different colleges, 1.5 hrs apart) she choose to value friend time over making time for me. She would talk less and less to me as the quarter progressed. The day came when she confessed she just didn't feel the same for me anymore, the physical attraction had left. We tried to make it work but in the end it always fails.
We broke up a little over a month ago and I still can't get everything about her out of my thoughts. I know I will move on and find someone else but there is that feeling of hope stuck in the back of my mind. Is it even worth trying to make it work again since winter break just started and we will both be back for 3 weeks? I haven't spoken to her since we broke up.
Any advice/similar stories will be greatly appreciated, thanks!
TL;DR: | After 2.5+ long relationship gf lost attraction to me and we ended breaking up. It's a month later and we are on winter break, is it even worth trying to talk to her and making it work? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by pronouncing a food wrong pretty much my entire life
POST: Okay so I went to my local bakery with a few work colleagues in my break today to get a cheese and onion PASTY. I asked the woman (who was very cute) for a cheese and onion PASTRY and my work colleagues turned around to me and started laughing. I asked them what was so funny and they said it's pronounced pas-tree not pais-tree. They're two complete different things. The woman behind the counter started smiling too and I asked her. She said it was pronounced pas-tree.
All this time I've been ordering a cheese and onion pastry when I wanted a pasty but no one has said anything. And I've been using this for possible the last good couple of years when I started eating them.
TL;DR: | Pronounced pastry as paistree for the better of 20 years of my life. Found out today it's not pronounced like that and they're two complete different things |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 m] and my Fiancée [23 f] for 6 years, want to buy a condo or house
POST: hello everyone. We have been together for 6 years, and we really want to live our own life because we are living with our parents at the moment. We dont want to rent. In my opinion it is a waste of money if it's not coming back to you when you decide to move location.
We are young and already have 35k in a saving account for a future cash down. We want a kid in a couple of year (only one) so we are wondering if it would be a good idea to raise a a child in a condo. Condominium are less expensive and are near everything you need in general. We dont really want to pay 350k for a house when you can have a pretty condo for 220k. We live near Montreal in Canada so a comfy new house is like 400k.
What do you think? Thanks
TL;DR: | Me and my girlfriend are wondering if we should buy a condo if we want to raise a child in a couple of years. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I wish I was born male, but I'm female and it bugs me.
POST: I don't consider myself transgender, because I never felt like I am in fact a man.
I have a really feminine side. I like dresses, boots, stockings and all that. But I always wished to wear them as a man sort of. I'm a huge drag queen fan, tho I have nothing with makeup. But I always admired them.
I do like pretty woman and I consider myself pretty as well. I don't have any self-esteem issues.
But it's just I always, always wanted to be born male. I have nothing against people who go for a sex change, but I would never choose for that.
I don't feel any connection with my own gender. It really feels like I shouldn't be female. I never wanted to have female genitalia or boobs. I never wanted to have a uterus. All this stuff annoys me about myself, because I don't want them myself.
I constantly have the feeling that I shouldn't have those and be male instead.
I have no problem with someone addressing me as female. As I am in fact a female. And I do consider myself female.
I know Reddit is not a doctor or psychologist, but I just want to hear some opinions or maybe different views I haven't considered yet. And also because the friend I talk most with doesn't want to talk about this, which I don't quite understand.
This, to me, has always been my identity problem. Aside from the feminine clothing, I don't do anything feminine. I don't really like makeup on myself, I don't give a single shit about what I'm wearing, I do not spend money on purses/jewellery (the stereotypes, so this is by no means meant as an offence to the girls that also don't like/buy this) aand neither have I a lot of female friends. I can't relate to them in many cases.
The thing that bugs me the most is the lack of connection I feel with my own mental and physical gender. I in fact hate that I am physically female.
TL;DR: | I just really, really hate the fact that I was born female. But I don't consider myself transgender, because Identify myself as female. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Is it me, or is this tacky?
POST: Last week, I spent half a day souring the internet to get mailing addresses for my side of the guest list. I got all my friends and all my family except for my aunt who just moved.
So then I told my fiance to start getting mailing addresses for his part of the guest list.
He set up our wedding as an event on Facebook, put a note on it to PM one of us your home address, and invited everyone on his list who uses Facebook.
Is it just me, or is that really tacky? (Although you have to bear in mind that he is a software engineer.) I'm kinda embarrassed to invite any of my people to the event through Facebook, so I haven't, but alternately, it looks weird that I don't have anyone on it.
TL;DR: | Fiance invited people to our wedding through Facebook to ask for their mailing addresses for real invites. Is that tacky? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I'm a university professor, artist, make some money on my art but mostly lose it. . .help me understand my tax situation.
POST: So I teach at a university and have even paid an accountant to do my taxes but the guy had no clue how to deal with a university professor who needs to 'research' and 'produce' to keep their job. I make about $62K, get a few hundred to a few grand in reimbursed expenses and museum/non profit commission every year, but mostly I spend about $10-15K doing my job being a professional artist.
This means I spend money on supplies, travel for exhibitions, meals when traveling, website and electronics, etc.
What's in my best interest when filing? I'm clueless, help!
TL;DR: | I lose money on my career, but being an exhibiting artist is what helps me keep my teaching job. How does the fed view this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (32m) missing that feeling that I get when I'm with her (27f)
POST: I recently broke up with my long time girlfriend and I miss her so much. I miss sleeping next to her and waking up next to her. I miss watching movies with her. I miss making her laugh. Most of all I just miss being with her.
Our relationship had it's problems. She is the kind of person that blames everything on others and I was her favorite scapegoat. She also cheated on me multiple times. Despite all that though I saw who she was deep down. She can be caring and sweet. She has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen with the exception of our daughter.
I've struggled with depression for years but every since meeting her I've had this profound sense of hope that I'd never felt before. She made me a better person just by being her.
Even with everything that's happened between us, I love her so much. We're trying to remain friends since we have a daughter to raise together. It's tough though because there's still a lot of negative feelings on both sides.
Any tips on how to deal with these feelings?
TL;DR: | Broke up with the love of my life and trying to be friends together. Need advice to deal with lingering feelings of love and longing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: tifu by going into work
POST: So I was honestly thinking of calling off today but my attendance hasn't been good lately and I need the job so I didn't. I really should have though. After working for about three hours my supervisor approaches me and says I need to check on the women's bathroom. As soon as they said this I figured something was badly messed up.
Sure enough in the third stall some disgusting bitch had left her bloody tampon and the packaging for a new tampon in the toilet.
I put gloves on and brought the garbage can as close as I could to the toilet before fishing it out with a toilet brush; still had to hold back wave after wave of nausea.
TL;DR: | felt like calling in, didn't wanna lose my job so I sucked it up, ended up toilet diving for used tampons. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I need help finding a specific kind of job
POST: Note: This is a bit more realistic than my previous posts. I want to make ok money (over 10$ an hour), doesn't require education or experience. I don't mind working hard though, like "I can't get up the next day" hard. All the easy jobs either pay nothing or require education so I figured I'll just get my hands dirty. This is only temporary though as I plan on getting my real estate license. I basically want to save up as much money as possible in say 6 months so I can A. get experience B. buy a car & C. Buy clothes as I only have 3 outfits at the moment. Once I have a car I'll get a job at a dealership. That will help me because if you can sell a car you can sell a house (I think).
TL;DR: | I want a high paying job (at least $10 an hour) & I don't mind busting my ass/getting my hands dirty. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19f] How to Stop Being Jealous in Relationship?
POST: I get jealous every time other girls talk to my boyfriend and it's gotten really bad. He's 17 and our relationship is over a year old and my feelings of jealousy and possessiveness keep getting worse and worse. Yesterday everything blew up. We had a huge argument, and he ended up calling me pscyho and he broke up with me, I basically said he's not allowed leaving me, and I begged him to stay with me and he agreed to but said if I don't start giving him space and stop acting "crazy" then he'll break up with me. I don't think it's fair that he thinks he could break up with me just like that, over an issue that he's NEVER talked to me about before. I didn't even know it bothered him.
I'm happy we're still together but I don't know how to stop. It's gotten to the point where when we go out to eat, if the waitress is good looking I'll order for him and won't even let him because I don't want him and the waitress talking. I've threatened his female friend before just for talking to him, I'm absolutely obsessed with him being mine and noone elses. I don't know hot to get rid of these feelings.
I asked before and just got people telling me to go to therapy, I'm not willing to do that and I'd feel embarrassed talking to someone in person about it, that's kinda why I'm on here. So please give like, your own advice or opinions, based on experience or anything. Thanks
TL;DR: | My boyfriend called me a psycho and broke up with me, we're still together now but I want to stop being so jealous about everything, so then he'll want to stay with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by bringing up a SFW event from the past with my son and unintentionally making it NSFW in a public setting.
POST: Drove with my son [u/-MagicMan-] to go get some pictures of him sipping tea [context] processed. (his mothers idea not mine) Anyways, we to get some fast food and started talking about random stuff.
We sat in those chairs outside he told me about this kid in his high school who chocked on some food and caused a huge scene and destroyed some stuff in the cafeteria, so, i found this story to be more than hilarious and was laughing loudly at this point.
Low and behold, i bring up THE STUPIDEST THING EVER: "hey, hey, -MagicMan-, you remember when you chocked on **my** sausage and you started make gerbil noises HAHAHAHA" (**for context me and my son had pigs in a blanket a few weeks ago and were trying to toss it into each others mout, he chocked, gerbil noises ensued, heimlich maneuvered him, laughed**)
Looking at my sons face, i quickly realize he's no longer laughing, only staring at me. And that a group of girls his age and some other people walking by had stopped what they were doing and now decided to stare at me. I dont really know whay he cares, he has a girlfriend anyways but, oh well.
We hauled ass out of there and in the car, my son broke out with laughter and told me: "Yea, *really* nice timing dad"
We are now returning home with framed pictures of my son and a new story for my wife.
TL;DR: | Brought up the past with son at fast food place about how he 'chocked on sausage'(pigs in a blanket) and got publicly humiliated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think if I tell my SO it will be a deal breaker. But I need to tell him :(
POST: To start off, I *did not cheat*. I realize the title sounds like that. Okay.
Me (f) and bf, 20. Dating 10 months.
He is very religious. He loves his church and it is the most important thing in his life.
I am not. I just don't see why it matters. If I had to label myself, I'd say I'm secular humanist. ( in case anybody is curious/doesn't know).
Now his church has this thing where you're not supposed to be with people outside of it. He assumes I'll join the church at some point (I have told him I'd consider it, but lately I know I never would).
If I tell him I never intend to join I'm pretty sure it'd be a deal breaker and he'd leave me. I love him and don't want to be apart, but should I tell him or just not mention anything? This doesn't affect any other aspects of our relationship.
TL;DR: | Bf is religious wants me to be, but I don't think I ever will be. Tell him or no? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[22M/F] just got engaged to my bf [23/m]. I am terrified that we have moved too fast.
POST: My bf and I have been together for 11 months and it has been amazing so far. We rarely fight and if we do its nothing serious and get resolved quickly. I have had 3 semi serious relationships before and none of them compare to the way I feel about my bf. My friends and his have been joking that we would be the first to get married for months. We have discussed a future together for sometime now.
I guess what I am saying is I shouldnt have been surprised when my bf popped the question. But I was, but also so excited. I knew I didnt want to say No and hurt my boyfriend so I said yes. There was a photographer taking pics of the whole thing and the first thing my bf did was call all his friends and tell them the good news that I said yes. And now all those pics are on facebook and it seem permanent, everyone knows and I'm panicking. I know I need to talk to him about this but obviously I need to be delicate. Does anyone have any advice on how to bring this up, what to say, and how to deal with everyone else if he stop being engaged...?
TL;DR: | bf proposed and said yes because i love him and was excited but now am scarred that we are moving too fast!help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Quick, job ideas for 50-year-old guy needing money fast?
POST: What's the fastest way a 50-year-old guy could find a job in the peninsula of the Bay Area that'd pay enough to afford a low-end 2-BR apartment for me and my teenage kid?
I'm not very personable so would fail at obvious choices like retail, food service, or sales. Also not kind of scrawny and not in great health so construction is out.
I have some arcane tech-related skills, but been out of the game so long I'm a dinosaur. I have a car that sort-of-works but is not Uber-capable.
Kid is here, ex-wife is here, and moving more than 12 miles away is not an option for legal and logistical reasons. Good news is I can move out of the bay completely in a few years after said kid turns 18. So this is only a temporary thing.
TL;DR: | old guy made some very stupid decisions, been divorced for years, now needs to make enough to have a roof over my head and support an almost-grown kid for a few years. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Should I say this in a potentially new LDR?
POST: I have always been very confident in my relationships, so asking the masses for advice is new to me, but this time there is distance involved and text/phone aren't the best mediums to read someone. I'm a 29 M, she's a 31 F and we've spent all of 3 days in person together a month ago. Yesterday on the phone I heard an under-breath quip that she was scared of putting herself out there for fear of being burned. I let it slide at the time, but I am considering texting her the following today.
"Hi. I wanted to take a quick second to address a hesitation I heard in your voice last night about 'putting yourself out there'. I thought you should know that you are not alone in this. I have left myself fully exposed at great peril as well. I also wanted you to know that I am not afraid with you, only excited..."
It seems like a small detail, but this is a very new situation and I don't want to over-reach. We also haven't really discussed our pasts yet.
So, Redditors, should I just let it slide or is it appropriate to address?
TL;DR: | New potential LDR, should I respond to an off-hand concern about putting herself out there, or let it slide. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making an insensitive comment during a Make A Wish foundation visit
POST: So I've been browsing reddit for awhile now but just decided to create an account today to tell you all my fuck up.
This just happened a few hours ago...
So I am a game developer and today we had the incredible pleasure of being hosts to an awesome kid who, through the Make A Wish foundation, made a wish to visit our studio and be a game dev for a day! To think that a sick child's one wish is to be apart of my day to day is a very powerful thought. I told myself any chance I had to make sure this kid gets as much joy out of today as he possibly could, I would make sure to go out of my way to make it happen!
Fast forward to the studio play test where a large group of us, including the child and his parents were playing our game and having a good time. We wanted to make sure the kid had a blast so we may or may not have turned down our skill level a bit in order to make sure we were giving him a fully engaging experience.
Here is where I fuck up... after one of the matches was over, the kid had the top score on his team so I jokingly said "Hey, does your back hurt? you really carried your team". I immediately regretted opening my mouth since the joke was clearly lost in translation and the kid's reply was "Mostly in the morning, but not so much when I'm gaming". My heart sank.
TL;DR: | I jokingly made a comment about a sick child's back hurting in reference to him carrying his team to victory. He didn't understand the joke and proceeded to answering my question in all seriousness. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (30m) am letting my wife (31f) stay overnight with her ex
POST: I'm regretting saying I'm ok with it, but I only agreed to it because I felt like she was challenging how much I trust her.
He's recently broken up with his girlfriend and she said she thought he was getting depressed and wanted to go spend time with him. To do so she'll be travelling for about an hour each way.
I brought up in the past how I was uncomfortable with how close they still were but she played it off as me being jealous. They broke up purely out of circumstances, and she admits that, so in my head they're both still attracted to each other and have no reason not to still have feelings for each other.
TL;DR: | I'm worried my wife has tricked me into giving her a free pass with her good-terms ex so i won't seem like a jealous husband.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my sister [20 F]. She's in a morally interesting relationship, and I don't know how to act around it.
POST: My sister was in a relationship with one guy for 2-3 years, ending long distance, and misery. She's been far more promiscuous and a little like a chameleon for the last year. She doesn't know how to be herself without someone there to appreciate it closely. She's been with a guy for a month now and they get along famously except he's in a long distance relationship with another girl. My sister says it's understandable because they have to know they'll work; he want's to be sure of my sister before he breaks up with his girlfriend.
I love my sister to the moon and back, but I'm afraid she's going to end up with someone who walks all over her. She's all wrapped up a guy who doesn't think enough of her to break up with a girl he dated for a week before college started. Whenever she talks happily about this guy she knows I think poorly of it. She thinks it's bad too but still won't change it. Should I try to talk to her about her life, or should I delete this post and back my nose out of her business?
TL;DR: | I'm worried my sister is setting herself up to be walked all over and it's straining our sisterly bonds. I don't know if I'm too nosy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my dad [51 M] not sure how to feel, should I say something?
POST: My parents have been split up since I was about 3 years old and both have since remarried. After switching programs once I realized I wasn't happy where I was going, I'm finally graduating in the next couple months. One problem however is that there is a limited number of seats available for family members.
Graduates only get two seats, and while we can request more its pretty hard to get any more than 3. So I figured to keep it fair I would get seats for my fiancé, my mom and my dad. After figuring this out I called my dad and when we started talking about it I said if my step mom wants to come she obviously can, but I explained the limitations on the number of seats we can get. But I told him how when my fiancé graduated (same school) they had a separate room set up that televised the graduation that the rest of the family can sit in. My grandparents, fiances mom, step dad and others will be going there!
Almost immediately he started saying how he would just sit with my step mom in that separate room because she won't want to be alone (this is all his words! not hers). Before I go any further I understand that it would be a bit weird, but its not for a whole day...it would probably be for a 1 1/2 hour max.
I can't help but feel a bit upset that even though he will "see" me graduating, he won't actually be there. Not really sure what to do, if I should even bother saying something or if he's completely justified in his thinking.
TL;DR: | Limited number of seats at graduation, dad seems like he would rather sit in televised room with step mom than be in the ceremony room itself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (F28) need advice on houseguests (F19 & M22)
POST: I met a couple about a week ago and we became quick friends. A couple days after I met them, the people they were staying with decided they wanted their house back and kicked them out that night. They are from another state and know no one in the area, and they have a 5 month old son, so my roommate and I agreed to let them stay with us for a couple days. I've helped them call around to shelters in the area and most are full. The one's that have room want paperwork like the baby's birth certificate which is in their home state.
The reason I'm asking for advice is they've become a bit of an inconvenience in the last couple days. They've helped out with food and toilet paper and things like that, but the baby is loud and they argue a lot and have woken up my daughter and my roommate a few times. The part that worries me the most is that he is short with the baby and she hits him a lot (the bf, not the baby). I understand getting frustrated when you're tired and a baby is screaming, but this morning I saw him get loud and speak loudly (not exactly yelling, but almost) to the baby telling him to be quiet, and then he put his hand over the baby's mouth. When the gf woke up, they started fighting and she punched him (I don't remember why), stopped to argue and they both called each other names, then she punched him a few more times, he punched her in the arm a couple times, they stopped to argue some more, then she punched him several more times and he got up and came to sit at the table with me. He said something about how he was tired of her always hitting him and he didn't like being abused, and she mocked him saying "oh yeah, you're SO abused".
Anyways, I'm not sure what to do. They have nowhere to go so I don't want to tell them to just leave, and I don't know how much me talking to them is going to help. What do you suggest?
TL;DR: | Let some friends stay with us, she is abusive towards him and he is not gentle with the baby. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [28/m] I hooked up with my collegue [21/f] over the past year. She got an official bf but we still have feelings for each other.
POST: Ok here is some background.
I'm [28/m] an average looking, shy, reserved person when it comes to relationships, but I'm also a latin dance instructor so I appear to be quite loud, confident, and the life of the party in order to get students pumped up, but really I'm still quite shy and don't initiate or make a move unless I'm absolutely certain the girl is interested in me.
Last year I ended up hooking up with my dance partner around Xmas - which she initiated, just before I had to leave the country for about a month which kinda killed the buzz so the relationship went back to normal. Fast forward another couple months and the same thing happens, we hook up and go for a couple of weeks before she needs to leave for 2 months and that kills it again. I was busy when she came back and in the meantime she ended up getting a bf (which she didn't really tell me about), but since I have to see her quite often, it's clear we still have feelings for each other, and I'm kinda stuck with her for the rest of the year at least, probably longer.
Looking at what's the best way to progress forward since I still have to work with this girl and I am not interested in being the reason for a relationship breakdown. I've had breakups before but they've been clean so it was easy to avoid the person, this is just messy and don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Have history with my dance partner and both of us still have feelings for each other even though she now has a bf. Don't want to be a homewrecker. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My live-in boyfriend [29/M] of 10 months is too poor to take me [33/F] out on dates so we just stay home; he plays video games, I nap or read or watch tv.
POST: I already have depression (I'm on meds for it) and I feel like the isolation isn't helping. All of my friends have moved away, so I don't really have anyone to hang out with besides him. I know I need a life outside of the relationship and I want one, but I don't know how to get one. I work 40+ hours a week.
He pays rent from his savings. He's in school and hopes to start Lyfting soon once he gets his insurance straightened out (he moved from out of state a year ago and is switching everything over to our current state). If I want to go out, I have to plan it and pay. I adore him and feeling like this makes me feel bad about myself; like I'm being selfish. But man, I want him to take me out for drinks, or a picnic, or something romantic.
Help me fix this.
TL;DR: | I have no social life except for my boyfriend who is too poor to take me out so we just stay home and I'm bored and depressed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (21/M) Would this be really creepy?
POST: Story time: I go to a community college in Canada, in one of my class there is this cute girl (imo) that I find myself always looking at. Now she's one of those really quiet types and keeps to herself. But for weeks now, I can't seem to take my mind off her. I am also a socially awkward penguin sadly enough. Not that I studder or can't speak in full sentences - in contrast I've been told I was a great public speaker in all my class presentations, but talking to people on a one on one basis is something I really suck at. Now lets get into the question. For a while I tried looking for her through all the social medias and couldn't find her. Today I realized my mistake, she uses a nickname on her facebook. But after creeping her profile I noticed that she doesn't post anything about herself and is inactive on-line. How do I make something happen? We have different friends, live in different areas, and both really quiet. All in all we are just two people who happened to land in the same boring class (English for professional communications). One day, while driving out of the school parking lot, I saw her waiting for the bus that goes towards the same direction that I also take daily and was going to roll down my window and ask if she wanted a ride. But does she even know I exist? Wouldn't that be extremely creepy? I've worked on in-class questions as a group with her once and tried to strike conversation but she seemed so shy that talking was going to be the death of her. But if I add her on facebook to start chatting with her, would she not wonder how I managed to find her? Since she uses a pseudonym for her name. Oh what to do! I feel like I'm attracted to her like no others before. The last time i've dated was 3 years ago when it all fell apart and made me doubt all relationships, but after seeing her i'm beginning to be able to feel something again. What are my options?
TL;DR: | Is adding someone (on fb) who doesn't know you online really creepy? When you know that she doesn't like to be found by others. Is there any other ways? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (M21) am not sure if I was abused as a child (M5-7)?
POST: fter doing some serious reflecting on my life and looking at some of the patterns of my behavior, I have come to wonder whether or not I was sexuality abused when I was young?
Get ready, reddit, this is gonna be weird.
I have a pee fetish. It's pretty pervasive and I like it more than actual sex. I know it's weird and I am certainly not proud of it. I looking back on my life, there is a lot of evidence suggesting this has been pretty pervasive since I was young. It's gotten to the point where it's actually messed with some of my relationships throughout the years, both with guys and girls.
After doing a lot of soul searching, I think I hit on something. I remember being young, like 5 or 6 when my dad suggested having "lightsaber" fights with our pee streams. As a 5 year old, this didn't strike me as weird, because, well, I was 5. This happened for a few years, and got to the point where some uncles would also have these "lightsaber" fights with me.
This went on for a while, and that's when I began to become viscerally excited by the thought of pee. It started coming out in my drawings and doodles, conversations with people, fantasy stories... You get the idea. Even now, I get excited at the thought of pee. It's weird, and I know it's weird, and it makes me uncomfortable, but I can't help it.
I was also emotionally abused for the next 10 or so years after this started, so I don't know where one timeline ends and the next begins.
So I'm at the point now where I don't know what to think of it all, or if it's normal, or what. I'm looking for your thoughts.
So, reddit, what do you think? Is this abuse?
TL;DR: | Had "lightsaber" fights with pee streams with my dad and a few uncles for a few years. Developed a pervasive and intrusive pee fetish. Is this sexual abuse or am I misinterpreting normal behavior? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'v lost my bestfriend and i don't know why
POST: We'll call her Emily she's 17 and i'm 19, we've been really close best friends for around 5 years, very close to a relationship.
She stopped talking to me for like four days, wouldnt text me back was reading my bbms and just chosing not to respond. I went out on saturday night, got fairly drunk and confronted her about it, and then i kinda told her to f*** off. I apologised the next morning, she had already deleted me off fb and bbm.Im feeling really bad about it, There was this bear figure i had and she always said she wanted it, so i drove to her house about a 30 minute drive, about 6am got up early, left it outside with a little note, about a week later she turns up at my house with the bear
says she dosent want it
but she was really nice.... like we were still best mates, she wanted to hug me, told me she had left kyle (her boyfriend) and said " text me later ok?"
so i waited a bit then text her
no reply
i waited a few more days, text her again
no reply
i text her asking why she said to text her then completley blanks me still, she goes on about how shes really busy (bear in mind shes texting another friend as well, so she isnt "busy")
so i text her again
no reply
blocked me off fb too
I don't understand what iv done to warrant completley cutting me out of her life.
Id really appreciate some help
TL;DR: | seems that best friend for five years has cut me out of her life because i said "f*** off" and has no intention of talking to me again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my friend[19 F] who I am trying to ask out but keeps getting cryptic responses.
POST: Ive been hanging out with this girl for the past couple of months (never alone, always with mutual friends) and it seems like she is into me, but whenever I make a move, I get put down.
For example, this past weekend we went to a Halloween party together. At the end of the night she drove me and a couple of other people to her house so that I our cab could be cheaper. As I was leaving I gave her a hug and said "We should do lunch sometime." She said something like, "sure" and like squeezed my bicep. So the next day I follow up on that lunch offer. This is the transcript...
Me: Come eat lunch with me on Monday.
Her: When?
Me: 12-1
.......... (2 hours later)
Her: I dont have class until 2:30 tho
Me: Lame
........... (8 hours later)
Her: How is that lame??
Me: I got class at 1. You coming or no?
Her: Lol what?
Me: Idk
I have no idea what that means. Is she playing hard to get? Or is she not interested.
FYI: One of her good friends (who happens to be my good friend) told me that he doesnt think she is into me but hasn't talked about it with her.
TL;DR: | Can't tell if a girl is interested. Almost all of my friends tell me she is. I think she is but whenever I ask her to hang out, I get non replies or cryptic responses. Thinking about giving up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the worst way someone has ever taken advantage of you?
POST: A year ago I fell for one of those crappy pyramid schemes.
I was taking time off university (without any real plan of going back) and working a part-time job. My life was moving by slowly, problems at home sucked, I was broke and above all I just wanted a way out.
A 'friend' who I haven't spoken to since sophomore year of high school messages me on facebook to tell me about his 'business' and how I would be such a great addition to it. He played the whole hey buddy, buddy remember the old times bull shit. He came by my place every other day, took me out for beers and finally convinces me to go with him on his 'awesome business trip' to North Carolina and promising that the business would take off afterwards.
Come the day of the trip and I find out it is a 14 hour coach bus ride from Toronto to Charlotte NC, all the food he promised that would be covered wasn't, and him and all his friends shunned me the entire time I was on this trip (they even had me sleep on the floor of the hotel room for 2 days).
We come back from the trip and he stopped making efforts to see me and barely messaged me on facebook. He basically convinced me to spend all this money to sign up for his 'business', took me on some trip then just threw me to the side afterward.
Needless to say I cut him off, I ended up getting my shit together and going back to school (and I'm doing well now), and I am still paying off the $800 dollars that I racked up on my credit card from a year ago.
TL;DR: | guy I knew pulled the good-ol' friend card on me, convinced me to join his 'business' then stopped contacting me after I signed up for it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F], my parents and the guy I've just started dating -- heads up: Culture Conflict
POST: Ok so I'm probably going to get a lot of criticism, people telling me that I'm an adult and I can do whatever I want, blah, blah, blah but please consider that I am only 20 and am still going to be dependent on my parents for the next few years. When I'm under their roof, I have to follow their rules.
Now, I've just started dating this guy and even though we've only been on one date, I like him a lot and I think he likes me because he's already asked me for a second date. He seems like a genuinely good guy and it might get serious.
On the other hand, my parents are Arabic and Roman Catholic. They are extremely conservative and have told me that they do not want to meet any guys until I get my career started by getting into professional school. They are not *at all* open to meeting anyone until that point because they don't want to take it seriously and I guess meeting the parents is a pretty serious milestone. I'm going to be applying everywhere this upcoming school year. My grades and curriculars are great, however, there is always a possibility I may not get in this year and have to wait another year to reapply.
What would you do in my situation? My biggest fear is to keep going and then, once we get to a point where he wants to meet my parents, have to drop all this on him. I want to be honest with him right from the start but I don't want him to think that I'm already taking this too seriously. I'm just being cautious. Girls, what would you do in my situation and guys, what would you want a girl to do if she were in this situation?
TL;DR: | Started dating Guy, might get serious. Parents don't want to meet anyone until I'm in professional school. Possible future heartbreak. Please give me guidance. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: She [20/F] is lonely, wants closer friends. So do I [20/M]. Live in different cities, off for the summer.
POST: I'll try to keep this brief.
I go to university with this girl. We're friends.
I follow her on Tumblr. Every now and again, she'll post things; varying from little rants/vents about her day, to selfies, to personal thoughts. Standard stuff. And every now and again people respond. Some with encouraging words, others – though very few – not so much.
The issue is that I am confused. The messages that she conveys sounds as though she is alone and need friends. I'm not assuming that, either. She explicitly said "I am losing some once good friends," "I feel alone", "I will miss them but they probably won't miss me".
First off, she knows I follow her on Tumblr. But I'm not sure if I should text her and say "Hey, saw your Tumblr post, what's up?" Namely because (I find) texting is a very poor form of communicating deeper stuff. The stuff that is much better said in person. And secondly because I've done that before with her and our text convos tend to be very short.
To make things more difficult, she also lives in a city that is about two hours by train. I don't think that it's really viable to travel all the way there just for a coffee or something. She also has a boyfriend, so throw that in there…
Secondly I feel the same way. I don't have any friends that I can talk to on a regular basis over Facebook, WhatsApp, etc. Moreover, I am seldom invited to anything. That is something I am working on over the summer, but one that I will get to in due course.
She is a good friend. And I want to be better friends. But I feel like I'm getting mixed messages. I don't know what to do. I think I should give her a call and maybe see how that works out, though I rarely call anyone other than my parents tbh.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | Friend lives in a city two hours away and wants closer frineds. I'm in the same boat, but we can't meet this summer. Not sure if I should text, call (etc.) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [27M] did some snooping and found my boyfriend [35M] cheating. How can I verify and confront him with it?
POST: My partner and I have been together for over seven years. Just this year, I took a job outside the country that separated us such that we see each other every three months. It sucks, but we promised we would work hard on our relationship and stay faithful to each other despite the distance. Well, I have been faithful. He on the other hand, not so much. We've had a history of him cheating and me taking him back (I've gotten over it and I guess it's okay if he wants an open-ish relationship), but what gets me every time is how sneaky he tries to be and how he lies to me about it.
I had a hunch that something was weird with him lately, so I signed up for a hookup website and recognized his email. I got his attention with a fake profile, and he sent me a picture of his man-bits. I'm certain it's him, but I feel like if I confront him with this, he's going to just say it isn't him and that I'm crazy. Been there, done that.
The thing is that I would probably forgive him for whatever he's done (and it seems like enough to put most people over the edge). However, if he's not going to hold up his part of the "staying faithful" bargain, then I'm not either. In my mind, that's only fair.
What I'm hoping is that someone can comment whether this is enough "proof" to rub in his face. I don't want to end the relationship really, unless I find something really disturbing, but something needs to be done to either stop his behavior or to change our little arrangment.
TL;DR: | Together for a long time and now doing long-distance. He's cheating but we agreed not to do that. Should I confront and get jiggy with it myself? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my best friend [23 F] I found her boyfriend of 2 years on a dating website
POST: Hey reddit,
I've used online dating off and on for a a couple of years and I know many friends who've met significant others though that. Last night I reactivated my account after a year and a half and while browsing through my matches I saw my best friend's boyfriend was online. I screenshotted his profile and confronted him, demanding an explanation (I wanted to get an answer before going to my friend, also I am friends with her bf). He claimed that the website had emailed him his account was expiring and that I shouldn't be worried and then disabled his account and screenshotted the confirmation page to me.
My best friend is going through some shit right now and I don't want to start trouble if this isn't an issue. Can you show up as online if you haven't been active in a while? I can't imagine he'd try to cheat on her, they've been together for over 2 years and this dude is madly in love with her and told her she is the love of his life (which I know anyone could say). It wouldn't make any sense like he just doesn't seem like that kind of person. I'm hypersensitive to cheating because I've been cheated on in the past so I jumped on this the moment after I found his profile. He told me I was free to tell my friend what happened because he doesn't want to keep things from her. The situation makes me uneasy and I feel like I need to tell her and let her figure out what she wants to do about it. I just feel really bad about adding extra stress to her right now.
TL;DR: | found my best friend's bf on a dating website. Is there any way it's not what it looks like? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Girlfriend of two years found chat log of me talking to another girl.
POST: Yes, I did it. I fucked up, big time. I'm 21 male, my girlfriend is 22. We have been dating for over two years and I fucked up so bad. I was talking to another girl that I almost dated instead of my current girlfriend. (I guess I felt like I wanted to see if I made the choice of picking the right girl?) I have been talking to her since July on facebook saying stupid shit that would hurt me if I read my girlfriend said to another guy. Just stupid shit like I wonder if I made the right choice? Oh how's your sex life. Just disgusting stuff I should of never asked. But like I said, I think I was just trying to see if I made the right choice in picking my girl. I know I made the right choice, but I feel so bad because my girlfriend found everything and is completely devastated. She is still my girlfriend though. She still loves me. It's only been about 3 weeks since she found out. She is telling me she is feeling different though, and her love for me might be changing, she's unsure. I wanna prove to her so bad that I wanna be with her. I seriously know this is the biggest mistake of my life, and I need to win her back. How can I do this?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of two years found chat logs of me talking to another girl about stupid shit basically I cheated on my girlfriend but only verbally. I just feel guilty and her feelings might be changing. I need her back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: I just got dumped over Facebook for standing up for myself..
POST: We're 19 and we've dated for almost 4 years..
Today is this huge St. Paddy's day parade, right? And while I'm at work slaving my butt off he wants to go to this huge field that all the teenagers go to and get trashed, whatever. As long as he behaves himself.
But the problem lies in that he's lied a lot in the past and has acted sketchy so I don't trust him as much as I should. I gave him a simple "Hey, don't do this or that or your going to ruin your last chance with me." And he said "Well might as well leave me now because I know as soon as you see a picture of me with a female friend you're going to flip out.." I told him it would be fine as long as it wasn't all gropey.. like you know a normal friend picture, arm around the shoulder face's touching is fine but I don't want to see his hand virtually on their ass or anything like that. Am I being ridiculous?
And then I remembered something: A while back we were together doing something and I wanted to take a picture together, he refused and got all nervous. And then I realized this has happened before. Sketchy much?.. I decided to test something out, I put every old picture I had of us on facebook and tagged it. It was only 3 so it's not like I spammed his notifications or anything crazy like that. He immediately deleted me off facebook, a cheap way to break up I must say.
Needless to say I am wicked heart broken, hurt, I don't know what to do with myself. I know he was pretty shitty but this was a long time spend with someone. I wasn't trying to be psychotic I was merely standing up for myself because he was being sketchy. I'm crushed..
It doesn't help that this is spring break and all of my friends from university are far away, and all my friends from here AREN'T on spring break so so are they..
I have two concert tickets for two seperate events and no one to go with..
And that
Help me, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself..
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of four years almost dumped me by deleting me off facebook because I stood up to him being sketchy. I'm crushed and lonely.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by taking a shower in the University of Cambridge.
POST: (This happened last evening but I had no WiFi so yeah.)
My school and 5 other schools took a residential trip to the University of Cambridge to see what university life is like and what courses we can take.
So fast forward 5 hours we were going to take showers before going to bed (because it would be easier than to take one in the morning).
So I go get my towel and think, "hmm I could really go for a shit right now." I look around for a place to put my towel. I see a ledge. I place my towel down. *plop*.
"What the hell?" I say as I look down. The fucking toilet roll fell into the toilet. I look around for something that I can use to grab the roll out.
Nothing.
I think to myself "All-right /u/Angry_Budgies, this is no biggie. We won the war. We managed to land people on the moon. England won a world cup. I can do this." So i reach out to grab the molecule of the roll that hasn't touched the water and reach for the bin.
Then I see it.
This bin/trash can is some weird contraption that fell out of the innermost circle of Hell that came to get revenge for someone who wants to put a toilet roll in the bin. It won't fit through the *conventional* hole so I go to lift un the lid but it won't work. Then i see the screw.
This could be it. This could be my salvation.
I turn the plastic screw thing and it opens. YES I have done it! But no, only opens ~5cm and the bog roll won't fit in. So I do what anyone else would've done, and stamp on it until it will fit. After some pushing it finally fits in.
Now if I ever go back to Cambridge, I will be reminded of that incident and will be cringing throughout my whole time there.
TL;DR: | I go to take a shower in the Uni of Cambridge, end up putting a toilet roll in the toilet, can't show my face there ever again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Just ended a long distance relationship. (my first relationship)
POST: I (20, f) just ended my first relationship recently. It had been almost one and a half years, and was long-distance starting in september when I left for college. After going long distance I eventually found it hard to pay attention to him, I always felt busy with school. And for some reason when we did get to meet up I felt very frustrated and would get aggravated by him (I'm not sure why). I also found myself thinking about other guys a lot. We broke up over the phone (I was the one who ended it) but this weekend I will be in the town where he lives for a couple days. Should I just not tell him, or should I see him in real life to talk things out a bit and say goodbye? He was my best friend. Sorry if this all sounds noob, this is my first relationship. To be honest I have been really sad/crying since and I don't understand why, I thought this is what I wanted, I'm so confused. This guy really loved me, and now I feel like a piece of shit. Did I make a mistake. Is it normal to be so sad when you are the one who did the dumping? Any advice.
TL;DR: | I just ended a long distance relationship over the phone, I will be in town this weekend should I tell him, or should I not tell him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Being targeted at work. What to do?
POST: I recently became a cashier at a large box store in New England known for home improvement and DIY. Quickly I realized that a woman who had been employed by my girlfriend was also a cashier at my store (I'll call her Jennifer). My Girlfriend, being the manager of her store, and the Jennifer did not get along (Jennifer having been acting manager before my GF took over. Jennifer also made claims to other employees that she was "going to have my gf fired") and this resulted in Jennifer resigning, narrowly escaping being terminated by the District Manager herself. Now, the first two months working with Jennifer were full of attitude and nastiness, but coming from a generally nasty person with a bad attitude I figured it was par for course and shook off the feeling that her issues with my girlfriend had something to do with me. In this time Jennifer has become a Head Cashier and is now my supervisor. Her attitude towards me is always bad. I still shrugged it off and went about my business happily. Today my mind has changed. Another cashier, who happens to also be my job coach, told me that Jennifer was complaining about me talking to another associate and how I was "wasting company time and money". With the attitude and these comments coming my way I believe that I am being targeted by Jennifer and her goal is to remove me from my employment.
TL;DR: | Woman who works for my GF makes trouble at work and threatens to get her fired. She ends up quitting and now I work with her where she is one of my supervisors and is harassing me and trying to get me fired. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17 M] am having doubts about my relationship with my girlfriend of a year and five months [16 F], but I'm being critical of my reasons for my doubt.
POST: I have been dating my current girlfriend, lets call her Jane, for the
past year and five months, up until the beginning of this month our
relationship was quite stable. Jane suffers from quite persistent
anxiety and panic disorder, along with being somewhat depressed.
These have always been hard on me, but I had been able to handle
it moderately well until recently.
I recently started feeling like my
only role in our relationship was to support her and every aspect
seemed to be focused on her, never on me. I started thinking that
our relationship might be coming to an end, but I wanted to feel it
out move first. Just a few days after I was thinking this we got in a
disagreement and I decided not to completely submit, for fear of
her being upset, like I used to. This disagreement continued to
spiral, and I ended up breaking up with her that night. But the next
day we talked and decided to try more, because we might be able
to fix the issues that were there.
However, I still don't feel much
better, this all happened about three weeks ago, and there have still
been several occasion where I feel like she is using her emotions to
manipulate me and I don't feel the same about her as I used to. A
lot of the problems seem to have gotten a bit better, but I don't feel
better, I still feel distant from her and like I'm just not interested
any more. The main reason I'm so self critical about this doubt is
because I've started feeling something for another girl. I haven't
acted on these feelings at all, but I feel like they could be a large
part of why I feel so doubtful about my relationship, which makes
me feel extremely guilty. I'm just curious to hear others' thoughts
on the situation.
TL;DR: | I'm not as interest in my current girlfriend as I used to be, because I feel like I'm just supporting her. But I feel guilty because I have feelings for another girl. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: He (24/m) wants a DNR, I (27/f) don't like the idea of it
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year and lately his Dad has been going through a lot of medical problems right now and that made him bring up the fact that he wants a "Do not resuscitate." Placed on him, he absolutely refuses to change his mind and will not talk about it.
I have been trying to explain my view but he won't let me. I feel like you should always try, there are so many people who have died and been resuscitated and led a perfectly normal life there after.
I am okay that if he is resuscitated and somehow ends up on life support, I feel like then yes there is a decision to make there about pulling the plug.
I just don't think you should make a decision without trying.
Earlier this year my Dad's heart quit 3 times on the way to the hospital, they revived him and he's now home like normal. He was on a ventilator for a week because he couldn't breath on his own. His lungs started working again and he got taken off the ventilator and got to go home.
I don't think that it always has to be "your time," if your heart stops.
Well, this has been the argument of the week. Some probably think I'm selfish, but wouldn't you always guilt yourself with a "what if?" I know I would. I constantly "what if" myself, and I don't want to live with that guilt.
I also feel like a DNR is something you should discuss with your SO, and not a decision you should make on whelm without ever letting them know.
TL;DR: | He wants a DNR but I feel like you should always let the doctors try because it may not be "your time." |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21] realize her [20] defects are really bothering me and I fear that means the beginning of the end
POST: ** We have been together for two years and I have this feel since five or six months ago. **
**I start to realize her defects are bothering me**. In her intelligence, in her looks, in the tastes we don't share, etc.
I'm looking girls all time, and not only physically but also I think how they could be as couple, in a way to contrast them with my gf, as if I couldn't appreciate her bright side. In other words, I'm seeing women like when I was single.
I find even her less attractive than before and I enjoy sex but It don't blow my mind as the first year, actually I'm interested in how feels sex with other chicks and It makes me feel guilty as fuck. (Anyway I wont cheat her under no circumstances!)
Anyone would say that it clearly means I'm losing my love for her but on the other hand, I can't stand being without her, I really need her, she truly appreciates me and Ican't leave behind that. She is the only who helps me and talks me when I'm feeling sad or alone, and beyond all that I still find unique in a lot of other things.
**Could be this a passing moment and can I appreciate her as the first time again?**
We've talked a lot about this, I always we conclude that It's a selfish argument (wich it's sadly true) and I'm demanding on her with no need. Last week, I said I don't know the future of the relationship and perhaps in the future we've to break up or perhaps not and we'll be aging together, in this moment she sobbed and said *"hopefully..."* and instantaneously after we both started to cry like kids. I'm fucking confused.
TL;DR: | I find my gf so imperfect and I'm thinking in other girls, this could be the begining of the end and it depressesme like no other thing |
Subsets and Splits