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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25M] with my Gf [24f] of nearly 3 years. I want to better myself but she can be really negative.
POST: For most of my life I've been fighting with depression. But for this last year, I've actively been trying to change, I'm sick of feeling this way and I really want to put the effort in to kick this. That's really a whole other story.
Anyways, I've been dating this girl for the past 3 years now (3 years this May) It started off great, I loved everything about her, her laugh, face, eyes, smile, you name it. We moved in together after about 6 months. Everything was still going great, despite how soon it was. We stayed home a lot, I stopped seeing my friends, my parents, all I did was work and hangout with her.
Then I realized how depressed I really was. I wanted to be something more, something that she didn't really care for; friendly and outgoing. Not to say shes a miserable snob or anything, but she would rather make fun of people, and complain about her day. She also seems very dependent on me. She doesn't have her license, I have to ask her to clean up after herself, and make sure she looks after her health. Honestly I feel like I'm the only mature one sometimes.
Another thing is sex. I'm not asking anything out of the ordinary from her, Its just you get kind of tired of only doing two positions over and over (she refuses to wear lingerie as well). I frequently try to go down on her as I love to give oral, but she stops me and tells me its gross down there (which It never has been). She won't reciprocate unless I'm fresh out of the shower and even then it happens once every few months.
Now I have had multiple talks with her about everything posted above, and its great for a month and a bit. But then it just falls right back to how it was before. I'm at my wits end, and I feel like I'm not going to be able to better myself until something changes.
TL;DR: | GF of 3 years is making me feel more like a care taker, then an equal partner in a relationship. I just don't know what to do anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Invasion of Privacy at work among a host of other things.
POST: OK, this may take a bit but, I want to garner some advice for my friend here.
At work she made a friend, (well call him Jeff), after a few months being there. The more she got to know Jeff the more she learned about him and some very disturbing things. Not limited to his view on women as object, the idea that forcing himself on said women was an acceptable idea, and self harm.
There came issues later into the friendship, including tiny aggressive events, such as crushing tissue boxes on her desk and throwing out trash with her initials (important because she deals with trash that, in the event of an oversight, may contain names and medical knowledge leading to HIPAA violations), and the theft of her personal keyboard.
Several times she went to human resources to talk with them regarding these issues. No action was taken to rectify or even address the problems. A most I think they gave Jeff a number for mental health support and told my friend to continue to be his friend and support him.
Skip ahead a bit in time, Jeff has quit, and my friend received an email from a throwaway email with a note basically telling her she needs to send racy photo's of herself or he would post pictures of her all across her job. The attachment on the email was pictures taken from video of her in the restroom of her workplace from several different days.
Her work has taken minimal action in the matter. Given her some time off, and contacted the Sheriffs office only after she did. She is now having panic attacks in public, at home, and is paranoid of going online as there are fake profiles being created trying to friend her co-workers and friends.
I only single out Jeff as he is the primary focus of the Sheriffs investigation and the most likely suspect to be targeting by far.
TL;DR: | I guess, what should she do in the event that her privacy was compromised so badly at work, and the person suspected had been reported to HR several times with mental health issues and fear for her personal safety and that of Jeff? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (27F) boyfriend (36M) always bugs and kisses a stray cat that comes to our house even though it has fleas. I've found fleas in the house but he won't stop. Am I unreasonable?
POST: This may seem like a petty thing to post about but I'm really grossed out by it, so here goes.
A few months ago a cat started appearing in our backyard and it seems like it had been dumped. My BF didn't want us to call the pound cos he didn't want it to be put down so he started buying it food occasionally and feeding it.
About 2 weeks ago I noticed it has fleas and said unless he was prepared to buy flea treatment for it, that I didn't want it in the house. He agreed but when it cries at the door wanting food he picks it up and brings it inside and stands by the door cuddling and kissing it on the head. This completely disgusts me as I've since found fleas on my arm twice.
I feel like I'm being over the top though. What should I do?
TL;DR: | boyfriend keeps hugging and kissing cat with fleas and I found a flea on my arm twice and am grossed out by it and want him to stop, but feel like a crazy lady |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: BF (29/M) obsessed with Instagram models. Am I (27/f) being petty?
POST: On my phone, please forgive grammar and spelling errors.
Alright I can't believe I'm even asking this, I'll make it short. I've been with my boyfriend for a year. We have a great relationship although admittedly I suffer from some body image issues. I think I'm actually fairly attractive, fit, successful, and intelligent - but for some reason I have these feelings of inadequacy because of my bf's perpetual habit of following and liking photos of provocative Instagram models. Sometimes they're famous and sometimes they aren't (i.e. only a couple hundred followers). He's from LA, but he now lives in the Midwest where we met, where I guess you could say people are surrounded by women like that all day.
Every day, in the morning when he wakes up, at work, at night, when he's with friends, when he's next to me, he's always following and liking all of their photos.
It's just Instagram so I try not to care but I can't help it! I feel like he's borderline obsessed. I don't know if my feelings of hurt are warranted.
TL;DR: | bf is obsessed with following IG models and liking their provocative photos. Someone tell me that it's petty and not a big deal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Redditors from outside the United States, how does your country perceive marijuana?
POST: I'm wondering specifically about South America.
I have a friend that's from Peru and he frowns upon Marijuana. He is a certified doctor in Peru, Spain, and the United States. One of the things that he said that really caught my attention is that it effects babies developement pre-Zygote. So basically he states that if you smoke weed it will affect your sperm and cause development issues if you happen to get someone pregnant. My friend has been drinking alcohol since he was 12 and when I told him alcohol kills brain cells and that's part of the reason why you cant drink until you are 21 in the states, he said that the amount of cells that it kills is really small. I had another friend from Peru who never had a reason to not smoke marijuana he just perceived it as bad, but again he also started drinking from a young age. I have another friend from Chile and refuses to try it for no reason, but started drinking at a young age. I have some friends from Argentina & Uruguay and all of them smoke and don't think its bad.
How does your country see Marijuana use and how does it compair to other drugs?
TL;DR: | Friends from Peru & Chile see marijuana as a horrible thing but start drinking at a young age, friends from a different part of South America (Argentina & Uruguay) dont see anything wrong with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19M] crush on online friend [23F], don't know what to do.
POST: So let me give some general information first:
I have known the girl for some time and we have talked a lot, we can talk about ANYTHING it's like there's no boundary of what goes to far, we talked about her past relationships, her past, her sex life, basicly everything. We share the same interests (gaming, watching the same series) and we understand each others humor and just get along very well.
Now I have been developping a crush on her, while she has a friend. As I explained we can talk about anything so I told her fair and square that I liked her when we had a conversation and she asked how I was doing and if I had interest in someone. Her relationship with her friend isn´t the best, it´s actually quite bad, but I do not want to mess with it and lose her as my friend, but I also do not want to never have a chance with her.
So my question:
I'm really confused on what to do, I do not want to risk our friendship, but I have never felt something like this for someone ever before. Although I do not want to, I keep thinking about ways to mess up their relationship on purpose, because deep down I do not want their relationship to work out. But on the other hand I want her to be happy and if that's without me then that is okay.
Also in 1,5 years I'll be done with school and I could go visit her (Money is not a issue to go visit and stay in America) and I would really like a chance with her.
What do I do Reddit? Please help this confused user.
Sorry for bad formatting and/or spell/grammar mistakes.
TL;DR: | I have a crush on a online friend, she is in a relationship to, I am jealous and although there is a big distance between us I want to take my chances or I'm afraid I'll regret not trying. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Tips for making my [19 F] temporarily LDR [22 M, one year] last?
POST: We've been together a year and we've never been apart for more than a week at a time. He's studying abroad this semester, left the day after our one year anniversary, and it's *way* harder than I had imagined it would be. I'm used to texting throughout the day, having a phone call in the evening, and dates a few times a week. His international plan blows, so we can only communicate when he has wifi, which won't be often for the next two or three weeks.
I've reached out to friends to try and make plans more frequently, I have a couple of little road trips planned over a couple of weekends in October, and I'm looking into group classes/clubs to get involved in. I've picked up an extra shift a week to try to keep myself busy. I've created a sticky-note countdown of days until I get to see him when I visit in November.
It's still really hard :( this isn't a trust issue. I trust him completely. I just miss him like crazy. It's a huge change to go from talking all day every day to sending 'missed connection' texts ('hi babe, you're asleep but I'm doing this today' or 'i just woke up but you've already left the hotel for the day, i love you very much'). It feels like we never really get to communicate. I know things will settle down in a few weeks once his classes start up, but I'm still struggling. Any tips?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend went abroad and we barely get to talk anymore. It will be like this for a few weeks. I'm trying to keep busy, but I still feel really sad and lonely a few times a day. Any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M/22] needs advice on how to talk to my girlfriend of 7 months [F/20] about communication
POST: That title is awful and stupid but I hope you'll bear with me.
Ive been seeing this girl for about 7 months, and when we're together I can't stop giggling, everything is great. When we're apart, I just wanna be holding her hand.
I get the impression either she doesn't feel the same way or feels much more muted about it.I'll text her a couple times a day, and I'll usually get one response to each if I'm lucky. I don't think we've had an actual conversation apart since before we were "officially" dating.
This is the first longer than a month relationship either of us have had, so neither of us really have any experience on what to do what we should be doing.
I really really like this girl and want to make this work, but I want companionship and someone to give a shit about me, even when were not next to each other, and either she's not thinking about me or is too nervous to respond or something I've asked her about this before in a really clumsy way, but all I got was "I'm just bad at texting, sorry!" She's really good at sitting on twitter all day though.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend only pays attention to me when we're in the same room and I want to know how to ask her if we can do something about that. "Hey, text me more" isn't it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [28/m] and my [27/f] about to get engaged and discussing a quick civil marriage, then ceremony later.
POST: I [28/m] have been dating my [27/f] gf for just over two years, and we have been living together for just about a year. I've already spoken to her father about proposing (this past October), informed my parents, and she knows it's coming (we both want to get engaged). The ring is arriving this week, and the proposal is likely happening next week.
We're discussing getting civilly married by the end of the month, and then having the formal ceremony, which we really just want to be a celebration/party with family and friends, at the end of the year. My question is if this feels like a bad idea? We've talked about the situation at length, and getting a court house marriage doesn't diminish our idea of being married. Most of what I've read talks about the engagement time period as more of planning time than "making sure you actually want to be married." It just seems that a quick marriage after a proposal is a bit taboo. Would love to get some advice on this.
TL;DR: | Seeking advice on getting civilly married quickly (weeks) after getting engaged, and having the formal ceremony later (12 months) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [31/m] Having issues with my girl friend (30/f) concerning if you love someone you should be allowed to be selfish about it. Whos in the right?
POST: So I had an argument the other night with my girlfriend and this always has been an issue in our relationship ( our relationship going on for about a year and a half now ). She has no family in California, but I do and also have my career and life here. Shes very independent and rather nomadic ( living in various states ) and has warned me that she can't find a job in her career over here and most likely will have to settle for crappy temp jobs in this economy if she continues living here.
She wanted me to tell her to stay here for me and make the sacrifices for our relationship, but I just think that's too selfish of a thing to say. I feel if I make her stay here for our relationship she will always hold that sacrifice over me. To put it in her words, "love is selfish." How do you guys feel on this issue? Whos in the right? Is it wrong for me to want her to stay here?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend wants to move out of state to pursue her career but everything I have is here ( home, family, career ). Is it wrong and selfish for me to tell her to stay for our relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: my [16m] first serious relationship [17f - 2 years] has ended and no matter what i do i cannot get over it
POST: we went through kind of a rough breakup, we both have mental illnesses and honestly were not healthy for each other, about 3 or 4 days after we broke up she asked for me back and i said no, which is one of the hardest things ive ever had to do.
after a few weeks we were texting one day (she was drunk, i was high) and it ended up in us having casual sex for a few weeks. we established that although it was just casual sex, we both still had clear feelings for the other person (GREAT IDEA, RIGHT??? CANT THINK OF ANY WAY THIS WILL END BADLY)
at the start i just missed her and everything reminded me of her. i've been using drugs music and self harm as outlets and it works but not for very long. some girl kissed me on halloween at a party but i just felt guilty about it. about a week after that happened, my ex texts me being mad about that and i decided i dont want to do the casual sex thing any more because it is obviously unhealthy for both of us.
i went back into a cycle of missing her/physical contact so i tried talking to other girls. i hooked up with one and while it was fun at the time, i just feel sad now because it wasn't *the same*
it's only been about 1 and a half months since we broke up but i just dont know what to fucking do
TL;DR: | girlfriend of 2 years and i broke up -> started having sex because we're stupid -> stopped having sex -> i have no idea how to get over her |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, Will you help me? REWARD: Reddit Gold
POST: **Back Story:** My wife was involved in a traffic accident where she was backed into while sitting a stop light. The guy and his wife that backed into her were very nice and the cops showed up shortly after. The cops told my wife that there was no need to fill out a police report. We are in Kansas and it is a "no fault" state. The cop told her that it would be worked out through the insurance companies. My wife asked what information she needed and he told her "just his name and policy number". So they exchanged info and my wife left.
**Problem:** We only have his name and insurance policy number but not the name of his insurance company, his phone number or license plate number.
**Challenge:** To find the correct insurance company that the policy number is attached to.
**Facts:**
* Accident happened in Kansas
* My wife believes that the insurance company listed a St Louis, MO address
* His policy number is in the following format; Policy # "A6-#######" (the format is "A6" a dash (-) and then 7 numbers)
**Reward:** I will donate "Reddit Gold for 2 months" to the first person that can provide the insurance company that this guy uses based off the information available.
**More Info:** I will not put any of his personal info on blast, because he did nothing wrong. He gave my wife all of his info but she only copied down his name and policy number (she feels like an idiot but she was doing what the cop told her). I have extensively searched for any info that my lead me to contact him. My insurance company and the cops have nothing to help me out so far. His vehicle was not damaged so I am guessing that he may not contact his insurance company. I am trying to avoid paying my detectable and having my insurance raised for an accident that is not our fault.
TL;DR: | traffic accident, wife only got guys name and policy number, if you can find the insurance company I will donate reddit gold… |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by wearing too short of a skirt
POST: May not be as big as some of you guy's stories, but I'm here to share. I go to a public school with a kinda strict dress code. Khaki jeans/pants, skirts, or shorts. certain length of coarse. & a white or navy polo shirt. No hoodies/ sweatshirts allowed except the schools, & belts are required. Anyways, I bought a skirt finally to wear to school & as it was too long, I tried to hem it. For my first time, it turned out decent but I cut it too short. Most girls at my school wear them short but mine wasn't acceptable. Dont get me wrong, I looked cute but it was pretty short. I wore a jacket I had to help cover it but without fail, my first hour teacher wrote me up & sent me to the office. The older lady who works there & our discipline instructer made a big deal about it. I told them I knew it was pretty short & I figured this would happen & apologized. Office workers & students (mostly girls) glared at me. I felt uncomfortable to begin with walking around campus but this made it 10x worse. I had to walk back to my classroom to grab my stuff only to find people staring & watching me. I walked back to the office & waited for my stepfather to come pick me up. I grabbed a checkout slip & told the student worker thankyou only to hear her mock me as I walked out the building. I could hear the girls talk about me & I honestly can't get it out of my head. I went to r/hownottogiveafuck & read some stuff there & it is kinda helping me. Ive always been pretty worried about always looking good & not slipping up due to my mother. So, I've always had some anxiety. Over the years though my friends have helped me get better at this so, it is not at as bad. Going to get another skirt today & try again. This time with the right measurements.
TL;DR: | Wore skirt I hemmed too short to strict dress code public school, got talked about & stared at by girl students & office staff. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Asking a guy out
POST: So, I went to a concert last night and met a guy. He's a friend of a friend, we talked, made out, exchanged phone numbers, went our separate ways. Our mutual friend kept texting me to try to get me to go back out with them after the show (I went to a friend's house and then went home). I turned them down, I was tired and had to get up early. So I texted this guy and told him that I wasn't blowing him off, that I was really tired and needed to sleep but that he should call me sometime. He didn't reply. So how long should I wait for him to call before I call him? There's another show Friday and I was thinking about asking if he wanted to go, so should I wait until, say, Wednesday or Thursday and then ask if I haven't heard from him?
We are both mid-thirty's and I've never gone after a guy before, just waited for them to come to me. My friend said this guy is shy around girls, so I have a feeling I'm going to have to be a bit more aggressive than I normally am and have no idea what to do.
TL;DR: | Met a guy, he's shy. Don't know how to peruse him without coming off as a psycho-stalker. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] anxious about meeting GF [23 F] parents for the first time
POST: Her parents are Chinese and very strict. I'm white like all her previous BF have been, which may very well be a deal breaker for her folks. She told me they "prefer" a Chinese boyfriend but I suspect it's not merely a preference. When one of her boyfriends was a good looking engineer and still fell short of whatever impossibly high standards her parents have set, well I have to think they are going to hate me. Yes I'm attractive and my body is like a 10, but I know parents care more about financial prospects and stability for their daughter. My financial analyst career is off to a decent start but I'm no chemical engineer or doctor.
Is there some type of universal gesture to win the hearts of any parent? I'm so worried about this dinner that I've been studying ways to effectively brainwash people. I'm going to always project myself in a positive manner while subtly and inconspicuously repeating my main points several times over the course of a conversation using different phrases that all mean the same thing. I will mention how my career is starting exceptionally strong and the future prospects for advancement are very promising if not definite. I will mirror their body language and explain that having a loving family is my #1 goal and priority in the near future, and that I'm open to raising children based on the cultural preference of my wife. etc.
Any other tips?
TL;DR: | My GF chinese parents always disapprove of her white boyfriends (I'm white) how can I win them over? I'm not above manipulation tactics and brainwashing techniques. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25m] don't feel particularly unhappy, but I feel heart achingly lonely every night and have done for the last 2 years
POST: I'm a 24 year old university student, about to graduate from a degree that I really enjoy. I have a lot of great things in my life. I have close friends, enjoy a lot of hobbies and have had the opportunity to travel frequently. Generally I feel deeply thankful about my life and optimistic about so many aspects of it.
But almost every single night I lay in bed for anywhere from 30 minutes to hours and can almost physically feel my chest aching. I feel so lonely and want a companion to share life with so badly.
I spent from about age 15 - 22 being in and out of pretty long term relationships. The last 2 years feel are I guess the longest amount of time I've spent single for a long time.
I don't know, I know that I could go out and meet people and try to start dating more seriously, but I'm afraid that I'm approaching the situation from an insecurity and looking to avoid this ache of loneliness.
I feel so tired of it, I feel like I'm never going to be a whole person who is comfortable being single and is non needy.
TL;DR: | I have an objectively good life but feel so deeply lonely. I'm scared I'll never be independent, comfortable alone or non needy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Going to break up with my BF of 1.5+ years in a couple days. Need advice/support.
POST: Throwaway because my bf knows my reddit account.
I (19/F) in an open LDR with my boyfriend (19/M) and it isn't working for me.
After my first date with another man, I confessed to him that I was in an open relationship. However, I was unable to articulate to him why it was beneficial for me, and what I personally got out of it in general. I realized that my personality does not mesh with polyamory all that well and that I needed to end my open relationship.
I have therefore decided to break up with my boyfriend upon my return from college.
This is going to really suck for him because he's been thinking about me and missing me for months. He even bought me some sex toys as a "welcome back" gift that he's now going to have to return.
It's also going to really suck for me for four reasons.
1) My boyfriend's a "rational guy." This means that he never gives an emotional justification the same weight as a rational one. I'm going to have to tell him *exactly* why polyamory does not work for me without any qualifications to it. I know already that his first step is going to be to try to deny and invalidate my experiences because he's done it before.
2) He has abusive parents and so he sometimes says things that border on verbal abuse without thinking about it. Since I'm going to be basically giving him and all the time that he spent missing me a giant 'fuck you,' I'm worried that he will not take that well. He could really fuck me up emotionally or perhaps even physically.
3) My best friend is in a relatively stable, monogamous LDR. I can't help but feel like I am weak, or a bad lover, because I have been unable to work out my LDR as well as him.
4) I have never hurt someone before. I'm not kidding. I used to be a total doormat in HS to both my boyfriend and everyone else that I cared about. This is uncharted territory for me.
TL;DR: | Breaking up with my boyfriend because polyamory doesn't work for me. Worried that neither of us will take it well. I need help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, what are some tips for avoiding mistakes as a newbie composer/songwriter?
POST: I'm starting to plan how to propose to my girlfriend, and a long time ago she mentioned that when she was younger she fantasized about having a rock star propose to her in song (was friend-zoned at that point). Now, a couple years (and defriend-zoning) later, one of our inside jokes is a really simple but annoying jingle she made up that often gets stuck in my head. Given that it's catchy, I decided to try to turn it into a song, if it turns out well, I'll see if I can make that little girl fantasy come true.
Now here's the rub, I just started playing piano last year. I'm not terribly good, but I have a decent grasp of how to use the thing. I also took some classes on music theory a long time ago in school, so I have a passing knowledge of how music works, chords, progressions, keys, reading music, etc.
Now, with that said, I am completely new to composing music from scratch, and though I also have a bit of a poetry background from college, I've never written song lyrics either. So, Reddit, I know there must be some of you out there who are good at this sort of thing, and some of you probably even make your living doing this. What are some common and stupid mistakes I should avoid making? What are some things that newbies make? Is there anything I can do to make my end product sound more professional and flawless?
I do have an incredibly talented and knowledgeable music teacher who is helping me out, but I don't get to see them very often, so most of the onus is on me. I really need your help, Reddit!
TL;DR: | I'm writing a song to propose to my girlfriend, and I need your help! Also, read the title. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my Girlfriend [24 F] 8 months, girlfriend overeating because i "look at girls", accusing me of lying.
POST: *
TL;DR: | Girlfriend thinks because I look at other people from time to time it means I don't love her/ Thinks I'm a liar for not telling her |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm a 24-year-old male who finds it near impossible to maintain relationships with....anyone, really...
POST: So I'm hoping this is the right place to put this. More of a general solicitation of advice with what I'd call a combination of persistent avoidance issues and interpersonal anxiety going back as far as I can remember.
For as long as I can remember, I've always had difficulties in starting and maintaining with relationships. My problem isn't exclusively related to romantic relationships either - even when it comes to friends and family, I find it difficult and exhausting to hold up my end of the bargain. I'll avoid answering texts, find any excuse to avoid getting together with people, those sorts of things. It all just feels like a hassle.
And at the same time, I'm alone...and lonely...and I despise that. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place - my desire to have fruitful, long-lasting relationships with people, and my desire to wallow in solitude and binge on Netflix.
To compound my difficulties, I'm a 24-year-old who invests a huge chunk of his life in his job. It's difficult for me to envision a healthy work-life balance, and it's almost impossible for me to picture myself in the future with a happy, loving family and those sorts of things.
So I suppose my general concern is that this issue will never end. I'm posting here asking for any helpful advice, tips, tricks, or whatever that you kind folks might be willing to offer me. Immersion therapy? Stepping out of the comfort zone? Just do it? I don't know, I'm at somewhat of a loss.
Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | I'm a 24-year-old with life-long avoidance issue and I'm hoping for some advice on what I can do to turn things around. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Roommate Issue, What Do I Do?
POST: My roommate and I are both female. I am 18, she is 22, and we have been living together in the college dorms since first semester (it is currently second semester). We are assigned roommates, so I didn't know her beforehand. She is a transfer student from South Korea. We don't talk to each other and usually only in the room at the same time during the night.
So here's the deal: Right now it's extremely hot in our room and I can't sleep. Normally I would turn my fan on and have it blowing on me all night, but this morning I read a facebook status my roommate posted (in Korean) that said that she hated my fan and that it was really noisy and she wanted to break it.
I feel bad so I'm kind of scared to turn my fan on. My bed is lofted but hers is not so it is considerably warmer where I am. We have the window open and I'm wearing tank top and shorts pajamas with my hair tied up in a ponytail so there's not much else I can do to keep cool.
So what should I do? Should I just turn my fan on and deal with the guilt, or leave it off and just suffer the heat wave?
TL;DR: | It's hotter than heck in my room and my roommate hates my fan because it's noisy. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 M] met a girl [21F] this past weekend, and asked her out on a date. I have never experienced such an age gap before and am wondering what to expect.
POST: So this past weekend my family and I had a party to celebrate and watch the big Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight. We had quite a few people over. My best friend and his date brought a friend with them that is 21. During the course of the night we started talking. Eventually the subject of our age came up, and it turns out she just turned 21 a week ago. I'm 26, and am accustomed to dating women either exactly my age or older. It's not that I have a rule or preference when it comes to age, it's simply that the women I meet just happen to be older. I personally don't have a problem with dating someone younger than I.
Since this is new territory for me, I was hoping some of you can enlighten me as to what I should expect with what I believe is a large age gap. In your opinion is this too large of an age gap? Is it weird?
I wish I could give you more details about her, but tomorrow will be our first date, and so I don't really know very much about her yet.
TL;DR: | I'm 26, I met a girl who is 21 and have never dated someone 5 years younger than I. I am curious as to whether this is a weirdly large age gap and what I should expect. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: MY Finacé [26/f] Can't have sex atm, I [27/m] am being offered it elsewhere. Could I ever do this?
POST: 2 Years ago my Fiancé, lets call her Tammy, (together 7 years engaged 2) had an invasive medical procedure. It essentially means penetrative sex is very painful for her and we're having counselling to try and sort it out. There is a solution, but it's taken 2 years to even get her to counselling and who knows how long it'll take. I've always had a high sex drive and we've not had decent sex in almost 3 years now, we talk about it regularly and I've told her it makes me feel ashamed that I have no sex life and it's started to make me feel unhappy. She is very loving and caring and we treat each other well, but tension is obviously present especially with very little in the forms of sexual contact (oral maybe once a week).
To add to my woes a woman, lets say her name is Faye, at my place of work (a rather large organisation I have very little contact with her through my job) started to come on to me, knowing I'm engaged and wants one night of just pure sex, she is very understanding and has told me that it would be one night and she's not interested in doing anything to make my life harder. I haven't confessed my current sex life situation to her. The choice alone is conflicting me and depressing me.
While my morality says it would be out of the question to do such a thing, I am so sexually frustrated I can't stop thinking about the potentially release this would give me, I don't have emotional feelings for Faye as such but would love this opportunity. How patient in waiting for a sex lift is too patient?
What do I do? Do I just ignore it tell her it's not going to happen and continue with the repair of my current relationship? Or would it be good for the relationship to "get it out of my system"?
TL;DR: | My Fiancé and I aren't having meaningful sex, being offered sex from other source, good idea or not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23f] and my ex [26m] had an abusive relationship, now starting to get back together.
POST: My ex and I dated on and off for about 3 years. We had a very rocky relationship complete with alcoholism, cheating, screaming fits, physical and emotional abuse. When things went too far I ended up in the hospital with a broken collarbone.
We took our time apart (complete with the name calling and emotionally abusive speech). As of the fall we took a trip together and ended up having sex, since then I've been at his beckon call. If we wants me to come over I'm there, I bring him food, gifts, and sex of course but only when he wants it.
I can tell that hes changed, ie. He no longer calls me names, puts me down or gets physical with me. Ive made alot of changes to myself too. He tells me he loves me and calls me his pet name, yet he ignores me in public, tells every single one of our friends that nothing is going on and tells me he's "not ready" for a relationship.
I'm not sure whether to wait it out until he is ready or leave. I can't help but feel like he's using me until something better comes along, but when I bring it up I'm just being "silly".
TL;DR: | Previously abusive ex isnt ready for a relationship but is somehow ready with the sex and doting on that comes with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Friend got in situation and is really confused about how to approach it without hurting anyone.
POST: This bomb just got dropped on me today and I've been thinking all day on what to do, but it looks like I may need some help. It involves two of my roommates, PERSON A and PERSON B.
A while back, PERSON A met a girl through mutual friends and they seemed to really hit it off. He took her back to his place, but he was a little too drunk and, although he tried his best, he couldn't get the blood flowin. She said it was fine even though he was really embarrassed.
Recently, PERSON A tried contacting her again to see what was going on, hoping they could get together again that night. They chatted and she said it was only a one time thing but they could still be friends. Now for the fun part. Another housemate of mine, PERSON B (who knew nothing of this whole situation) met her at a party that same night PERSON A chatted with her, and they got together. This time however, she's been messaging him asking for them to meet up again.
PERSON A has no idea what happened with PERSON B and still has feelings for her. PERSON B wants to see her again, but doesn't want to go behind PERSON A's back. She is also a high school friend of another one of my housemates, and is working on a year long project with my fourth housemate, so she will be around often.
How can we make everyone happy without sacrificing friendships / relationships (I will be living with these guys for next few years so I don't want to do anything dumb here.)
TL;DR: | Friend (kinda) got with girl and still really likes her. Other friend got with same girl without knowing first friend did, but still wants to see her again, but doesn't want to upset first friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Running away or just being an idiot?
POST: I [22/F] have been dating [29/M] for a little over a year. It's been a really great but confusing relationship and things have only gotten more complicated. We started off casual and we've stayed, "open" since - as in we've agreed to fool around with other people as long as we use protection and tell the other. I've been too busy/tired to do any dating beyond him, whereas he's fooled around with a friend's roommate and has been super quiet/passive about it since. I think it's helped since he's trying harder. Given enough time, I might have done the same, too. I've met a huge chunk of his family and friends and he keeps wanting to meet mine. I've been holding back and holding back from that - just in time for another problem! He wants to move out of the country. Almost weekly, he'll bring up dreams of moving elsewhere. I still live at home, finishing school but I've traveled abroad; he hasn't but he has the freedom from his job to work & move. I don't know if we should continue since he obviously has one foot out the door. Should I just pull the plug to avoid the discomfort of an awkward, maybe even long distance break up? I don't want to be a dope and expect him to invite me, especially since we've never even discussed moving in together. (I wanted to live with him eventually.) He won't even talk about this hypothetical dream with a hypothetical me in it. I've tried it and he got uncomfortable. I don't want to ruin his openness to talk about these things, especially since I'm pretty uncertain of my future, too.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend dreams of moving away. Is he's trying to subtly let me out... like a cat... Or should I just see where this goes? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my ex [21 M] of one year has threatened to take legal action against me
POST: My ex and I have been broken up for nearly three years but we still kept our joint bank account and phone numbers. The account has his car insurance and payments deducted from it on a monthly basis. I have recently changed my phone company and switched numbers.
Last year he went out of the country for a couple of months and asked me to help him cover for the payments, and that he'd pay me back within a few days. I ended up paying for four months of car stuffs and phone bills. Since then he repeatedly ignores my messages and kept giving excuses for why he can't return the money. It's been five months. He recently contacted me saying that he will return it soon and that he wants to meet with me and spend the night together. I declined saying that I don't want that sort of relationship.
Yesterday I saw that the account had funds transferred in our joint, and I withdrew his owed amount to my personal account. He later found out and withdrew the rest. I then immediately went to close the account. He's been contacting me saying that the bank has gave him all my information and he is going to take legal action against me. He gave me his new phone number and told me to call him to work this out. Apparently his parents are going to give him more money soon and right now he needs to pay bills. I have not responded at all. If it matters the bank is TD Canada.
I know that keeping ties is not a good thing and I want to end it completely. Our relationship was emotionally abusive and very devastating for the both of us. I wanted to stay in touch in the beginning for the sake of having a friend and later because he owed me money. Now that I've severed all ties I definitely don't want this person back in my life. I realized how toxic our relationship is. The fact that he has always wanted to get back with me has caused him resentment.
TL;DR: | Ex owes me money. I took it back from our joint bank account and closed it. He is now threatening legal action. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: When, if ever, should I (~24/f) tell my guy (25/m) about some of the more deranged fantasies I have?
POST: I have some very messed up fantasies to the point I don't think I enjoy sexual things very much unless some element of control, humiliation, power-play, rage, "force"-play, gender-bending or BDSM is involved. I'm not into piss/crap/anal/period stuff, but beyond that I like the darker aspects of sensuality. One strong fantasy (that isn't as terrible as some others) is dressing as a man in a suit and having him dress as a girl (but in a way where he still looks masculine) and doing a power-play RP. I have no desire to penetrate him or anything but I like the contrast of sub male (with "powerful" sex organ) and dom female (with "weaker" sex organ). This is more pronounced by the fact that I am almost 100 lbs and over a foot smaller than my man.
TL;DR: | i have messed up fantasies/fetishes that i'd ideally want my man to be apart of but i highly suspect he would not be open to them. should i keep them to myself or tell him and risk freaking him out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: This girl drives me wild, but damn does she piss me off.
POST: So I've been talking to this girl for about a month. She is freaking amazing. We share a bunch of nerdy interests and she is really attractive. I love spending time with her and talking, but she really pisses me off sometimes.
Every time I've tried to set something up, like where we would hang out or her come to one of my games she would bag out. This happened maybe four times. Normally I would take this as a sign that she's not interested, but she when we do hang out at lunch she's really sweet and wants to hold hands or hold my arm ore something. Sometimes we would sect and just last week she moved my hand into her bra (this is big because I'm still a kissless virgin at 17)
So fast forward to thanksgiving break. We had plans to go to a movie on the first Saturday of the break, but I had to bail this time because my family was going on vacation. During vacation the Ferguson bomb hit and we had a big argument about that. This wasn't like other arguments though and she was really upset that I didn't agree with her. She threatened to stop the relationship so I had to appease her for the time being. Later that day things were fine, but there was still the fallout.
Anyways ever since then the amount of texting we do has fallen a lot and the majority of her replies are one word texts. It pisses me the fuck off because I'm basically texting myself. She's always done this, but now its literally almost every text that is just 1-3 words.
So we didn't see each other all break and tomorrow I was supposed to see her at school. She told me tonight that she has to spend her lunch in the yearbook room so that's not happening. My fear is that she's done with this and is trying to avoid me. I'd be fine with not talking to her anymore, I just don't want to get strung around. I'm probably just being paranoid though. Idk really. This girl is super awesome, I just wish she would stop making me over think things.
TL;DR: | this girl is super amazing, but she has become kinda distant and boring lately. I'm afraid I'm gonna get strung around. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20 M] girlfriend [19 F] of 2 years, has no idea what she wants to do in life (career wise), how important is knowing your goals for a relationship to last?
POST: I realize we are still young and we are both in college, but she has no idea what type of career she wants, and doesn't like the sound of any that get suggested based off her majors (she has changed majors a few times).
It bothers me since I'm kinda close to graduating and know exactly what kind of job I want, what I want my life to be like, and things like that. Where it seems like she just thinks a job will show up when she graduates and everything will be good. And I don't think I would have a good enough job to support both of us and even think about having kids (we both know we would want kids WAY in the future)
I'm wondering from the view point of older people how important is it for a SO to know what they want in the long run?
TL;DR: | How important is it for a couple to know what they individually want in life and to see if their goals are compatible? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by messing with Murphy
POST: For the past few weeks, I've been taking my stash of money with me everywhere I went, in the hopes that I'd buy a Vita with it in case I came across a GameStop or whatever sold it. My parents do not approve of such gaming, so I can't simply ask them to buy it for me and I'll pay them back.
Well, yesterday I struck out again so I decided to not take my money with me today. Now, my aunt who's visiting knows a nice little family restaurant out in the middle of nowhere in my state, so off we went.
We dined, and thus came time to pay. The adults whipped out their credit and debit cards when the owner simply stated, "Sorry, we don't accept cards anymore."
The adults fumbled around in their bags for cash. No luck. They turned to me...
...and now I'm sitting here, typing this, being left at the restaurant as collateral, while they go to the nearest atm machine. Google Maps says it's 30 minutes away.
TL;DR: | And I wouldn't be stuck in the middle of nowhere too, if it weren't for that meddling Murphy's Law. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Filing quarterly taxes - worried I'm getting screwed...
POST: Regular on r/pf, throwaway due to lots of financial information.
For the past few years, my taxes have been a bit weird/different and I've had my parent's accountant help me file my taxes. She's given me advice that I've found to be wrong before, and the most recent numbers that she's given me I think are way off.
I had some stock options that cashed out last year that were a significant sum. I had no investments prior to that, and thus have no real good sense of how quarterly taxes should work before this big windfall. I think I'm paying way too much, and she isn't taking into account what else I'm paying in taxes when telling me how much I should pay. She likes to pay an estimated amount for the whole year in January, so I don't have to file quarterly (which I'm fine with, if her guesses are relatively close to actual, which they haven't been in the past).
Here's all the info:
Dec 2011 - first disbursment of options = $92,069.81
Jan 2012 - paid $14,000 in taxes for 4th quarter 2011 ($9K fed, $5K state)
April 2012 - paid $1286 in fed taxes for potential cap gains 2012
Dec 2012 - 2nd disbursment = $6,797.61
Jan 2013 - recommended I pay $500 in fed, $200 in state
In 2012, earned $3.04 in interest, $54.33 in long term cap gains, and $1529.70 in dividends in my investment account (all taxable).
I earned ~$30K in 2012 (only worked half the year, was grad student before) and paid $5K in Fed taxes, $1,500 in State.
I know there's probably some important details I'm leaving out, but I feel like I should be getting a federal refund for this year, so I'm confused about why I'm paying more cap gains when I'm still owed from what I paid last year as estimated.
TL;DR: | I don't know enough to check my accountant's math, but it doesn't seem right to me. help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by dropping some wooden boxes
POST: This happened in 2006 but I figured it was bad enough to be included.
Back when I was at 6th form college I was part of the theatre set building team, the college had an old hall that was used as a theatre and they had just employed a new stage manager, after the last show in our spring season we all decided we would clear the stage and re-organize it so it looked neater etc,
The stage manager said that was ok. At the back of the hall was a pile of boxes that were about 1.5mx1.5m and about 50cm tall, so they were hefty units, all stacked up.
We decided it was best to kick them off the top as they were piled so high it wouldnt be safe for a load of 17 year olds to get up on ladders etc and get them down.
We set up a ladder either side of the boxes so we could pick them up and just drop them, we thought this was the safest way of doing it. So me and my friend pick up one of these huge boxes and after shouting "ALL CLEAR" to our friend whose job it was to make sure nobody was on stage except us, he shouted "YES, ALL CLEAR". So we dropped the box.
As soon as it left our hands he went "NO NO NO NO WAIT"
We paniced as it was mid flight and there was nothing we could do,
Down the box crashed onto a poor unsuspecting plastic tub of red paint.
SPLAT. This paint went everywhere, it went all our friend at the other end of the stage, all over a box of costumes waiting to be returned and worst of all, all over a hired lighting desk and a hired sound desk.
So I spent the remainder of that day with alcohol wipes cleaning out the lighting desk and sound desk whilst the other 2 lads cleaned the floor. We had to go and see the head of performing arts, head teacher and head of 6th form an explain our mistake. Luckily they were pretty understanding and said it was obviously an accident and that we should be more careful.
TL;DR: | Dropped a huge wooden box onto a tub of paint, nearly destroyed up to £4000 worth of hired gear and costumes |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Having an odd problem and looking for some guidance from my favorite weight loss community
POST: So here's the skinny... Or maybe the not so skinny:
I started my weight loss journey about a month ago. I lost 7 pounds so far. My process is to eat around 1,000 calories a day and exercise (cardio machines at the gym or C25K) every other day or so for 30-60 minutes just depending on my schedule. My foods are typically clean only (as in no fast food as much as I can avoid it, and when I have fast food I just get grilled chicken sandwiches and remove the bun). For a frame of reference, I'm F/19/5'4 and 168lbs.
The issues I am having:
1. I have already plateaud for a week. I don't know why I would plateau so early in the game because I have a lot of fat to lose.
2. (This is the big one) I found out about a week ago that my gallbladder is not functioning and it has to be removed. This is part of why my caloric intake is pretty low. Even if I wanted to eat more calories, I can't. I try so hard to reach 1,000 a day but my gallbladder is making me so sick that I can't keep much down. Surgery is next week, but even during recovery I am to expect the same issues for some time. Is it possible that this low intake is causing my body to go into "starvation mode" or something like that? Also, anyone who has some experience in either gallbladder issues OR weight loss process during surgery recovery, could you guys shed some light on what I can do to increase my intake after initial recovery, how I can build back up to getting good exercise, and how I can combat the side effects of the surgery (mainly the nausea).
I know this is long, but I really want some input from you guys because I watch so many people here give outstanding support to one another and this is one of the few times I've felt compelled enough to ask for help myself. I would appreciate anything anyone can tell me to help me continue on a healthy track.
TL;DR: | Plateauing very early in my weight loss journey; eating very low calorie due to gallbladder dysfunction; looking for help on any end of these issues that anyone can give. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Ever been attacked by a stray dog/coyote/wolf? How did you handle it?
POST: On the way to school when I was younger (about 13) I got bit in the leg by a medium sized dog. After getting bit I pushed him off with my backpack where luckily he then lost interest in me.
Another time (more recently) me and a friend were walking home from a house party when a pack of 3 large coyotes started following us from about a km down the road. We climbed on top of a large semi parked off to the side of the road and started yelling loud to try and scare them away, which kind of worked because they did cross to the other side off the road (away from us).
Now last night I saw a large stray dog was creeping around my house as I pulled up to my house in my jeep. I scared him off by turning my car off and then restarting it (it was too late to honk the horn, people were sleeping lol). I found my self wondering what I would have done if I hadn't seen that dog when I pulled up and went to go open my front door only to get attacked. Of course the usual kicking and screaming like a little girl comes to mind, but is there some kind of technique to stop or restrain a animal that is large? Doggie sleeper hold or something?
**T
TL;DR: | Had a couple of encounters with strays, wondering what the best way to handle a stray is if it attacks you. Thanks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (Advice) I (M21) don't feel like I'm good enough for my (F20) girlfriend. What can I do?
POST: Been in a relationship with my gf for about 5 months. And I've been having issues getting her to orgasm etc etc, the sex is fine but I feel like I'm useless as I'm not exactly hung like a horse, she says "it does the job" to satisfy her but never makes her orgasm from piv sex, but being at best 6 inches I think she's not telling me the whole truth as I know her past and she's had guys with bigger ones than me. Anywho, is there anything I can do to be a better lover/work what I've got better/tips tricks etc?
I'm still new to the whole relationship and sex thing as my previous gf was a starfish in bed, and we'll I got nothing out of her really. My new gf is really experienced and I feel like I'm way out of my depth.
Any feedback positive negative tips whatever will be extremely helpful.
TL;DR: | need tips/help for my sex life as I feel 6 inches doesn't satisfy her and I don't have much experience. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26m] have evidence of some shady behavior of my gf[26], and I need a fresh perspective/advice.
POST: I will try to keep this (complex) story as simple as possible, yet detailed.
My girlfriend of almost 3 years has been gone for about 5months out of a country for work. It was rough, ups and downs, missing each other, frustration with her bad internet connection and so on.
She got back. Long story short; she forgot to log out of facebook and I'm not proud of snooping in, but the temptation was too strong (I know I will get shit for this).
There was a 1000+ messages with some guy. I have the entire conversation saved and it hurts my guts every time i go through it. Basically, he started hitting on her early on, and each time he did it she did not respond with approval or flat out rejected him, but tried to avoid the topic or stir it in another direction. She was polite, yet flirty. She tried to friendzone him, still accepting to meet him and stuff. He tried to kiss her, she rejected, and there was a whole mess about it later on, him writing pathetic emotional messages to her (some quiet disturbing for me), she basically trying to tell him to be friends (but not explicitly enough if you ask me) and not wanting to cheat her bf (verbatim: not because of him, but I don't want to feel bad). I am confused as he is mentioning her lips in another conversation later on, so I'm not 100% sure a kiss didn't happen. After that she didn't stop seeing him, and the whole thing with pathetic messages continued until she got back home. She seemed pretty annoyed at him towards the end (or rather found his messages lame), but again, she didn't outright rejected this assertiveness.
I am on the fence and pretty much confused of my next step. There are many other things to be added to this story, but I didn't want to make it more complicated than necessary. If you need to ask anything, please do. I'd like to hear would you do in my situation.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend was messing around with some guy while abroad, a kiss may have occurred, and I am confused what to do next. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by peeing in the shower
POST: Oh boy, what a morning I had..
So a little backstory for my story is as follows. I (25 m) travel a lot for work and am constantly in hotel rooms and hotel bars and usually I am alone. This week I was lucky in the fact that I had a young female co-worker from a different country come work on a project we had. So as you can imagine, we were 2 young people drinking in a hotel thousands of miles from home and one thing led to another and we started to hook up. It was fun and awesome and before we knew it we were sleeping in the same bed every night. One day (this morning) we had sex and I went to go take a shower before we headed in to the office. This is where things headed south.
I went ahead and closed the door (I didn't lock it.. who would?) and ran the shower. Hopped into the shower and really needed to have my post-sex pee session so I said 'Fuck it' and started to unleash this massive stream of the yellowest most powerful piss I had ever had in my life. What happened next you ask?
SHE RAN IN TO THE SHOWER TO JOIN ME. She jumped into the shower and hugged me while I continued to piss. She stood in my puddle of the darkest most potent piss I think I had ever taken. She got a little on her legs because I couldn't stop myself fast enough.
ONCE SHE REALIZED WHAT HAPPENED it was over. She started to freak out, she called me nasty, disgusting, saying "what is wrong with you???!!!" , the works and ran out of the bathroom.
So I finished my shower, got dressed, and now i'm sitting here at the office just waiting for her to walk in and give me the most disgusted look of "I stepped in your piss and got some on my leg and now we have to work together".
Thankfully I fly back home to NY today and hopefully won't have to work with her for quite some time (or ever again.)
TL;DR: | Sex with co-worker, went to shower, didn't lock door, started to pee in shower, co-worker joined me by surprise, peed on her leg. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: A classmate of mine from elementary school was recently killed. His mom has requested to meet me (22f) over Xmas. What should I do/say?
POST: Hi r/relationships, I wish I was coming for advice in a better situation
Earlier today I spoke with my dad who informed me of the death of a classmate from elementary and junior high. He was apparently murdered a few months and I don't think the person responsible has been arrested yet. I'm not sure if the details and there isn't anything online besides an obituary.
My dad heard about this from my classmates mom. She asked my dad if I would be willing to visit her at some point over Christmas break. Her son apparently had a crush on me throughout the years that we knew each other and she just wants to talk and reminisce.
I'm planning on going and bringing any old pictures that I have. Is there anything else I should do or say that would bring her comfort? I haven't lost too many people close to me and I'm not sure of the best way to handle this.
TL;DR: | a friend/classmate from childhood who liked me was recently killed. His mom wants to meet me. Advice and words of wisdom appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24f] boyfriend [27m] may have just broken up with me?
POST: I've [24f] known for a few months that my boyfriend, [27m] of 3 years, has been depressed. I, myself, have been on antidepressants for a while. I made him an appointment at our doctor when I first found out he was depressed, hoping maybe she could refer him to a therapist and/or give him some antidepressants as well (fyi his appointment is in a few days).
Since then I've tried to be almost annoyingly supportive and understanding. He doesn't really want to go anywhere or talk to anyone or even do anything around the house, so I do everything for him. I get all the groceries, I cook all the food, I do all the laundry, I clean the house often, I walk the dogs, I take his clothes out in the morning for him, I get up early to make him breakfast every morning and other things like that. He's really emotional and every time he cries I hold him and try to comfort him as best I can. I know this isn't going to make him any better, but I do it so that he doesn't have to worry about them.
Yesterday he said he's had something on his mind that he's been wanting to tell me for a little while. After some coddling he finally admitted that he's had to force himself not to make me leave him so that he can be depressed by himself. When he told me this I didn't know what to say and then he immediately said he'd never break up with me.
I didn't really respond to him. I told him that I needed to process everything, but I honestly have no idea what to do. He has to force himself to make me leave, but he'd never break up with me? I'm so confused.
TL;DR: | My [24f] depressed boyfriend [27m] of 3 years just told me he has to force himself not to make me leave him so that he can be depressed by himself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: my [16 F] crush told me she loves my best friend [18m]. Me [18m]
POST: For clarity, here are the fake names il be using: Me: John, My best friend: Alex, Her: Kim.
Also. 16 is the legal age in my country, and hers. Kim lives 2 countries away
So I met kim while playing an online game called League of legends. I added Kim (without knowing anything about her, or that is was a girl either). We start chatting and find out we have alot in common. Ie, we both play the same videogames, like the same shows, books and such. After a few days of chatting I get the feeling that Kim is a girl. so I ask Kim, and she confirms it.
After another week of constant chatting, playing together (With Alex aswell) I start to like kim. And I get the feeling is mutual (it **looks** like she is dropping hints on it).
As we keep on chatting, I start to like kim more and more.
After about 4 weeks of constant chatting, Im thinking of a way to confess to kim. but then I get the dreadful message that she is in love with Alex, and that his feelings is mutual. This absolutely broke me. I didnt even know they were chatting at all outside of when we were playing together.
At this point im at a loss for what to do, I feel completely heart broken. I stuggle to sleep, I cant get kim out of my head at all. even at work.
What should I do? Should I confess? try and forget? I just dont know what to do at this point.
TL;DR: | Met girl playing league, we really hit it off, lots on interests, but when im about to confess, she says shes in love with my best friend, and that their feelings are mutual. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Apartment-mate advice
POST: Hi Reddit.
I live w/ my fiance and two other guys. The two guys share a room. Guy 1 made these dumplings that smelled like rotting meat or moldy cheese. It smelled so bad I left the common area to go to the room I share w/ my fiance, and almost puked. The whole area outside our room still smells, and he cooked 2 hours ago. I have no idea what was in it, but my fiance asked and Guy 1 said chicken and veggies. Any idea why it smelled so rancid? He said it tasted fine... or any idea on how to get rid of the stink? Febreeze won't do anything, and the fan has been on and windows open for awhile now...
Guy 2 (we think) also pees on the floor in front of the toilet and we don't know how to politely approach that topic. Any ideas?
We talked to Guy 1 about the food and stuff, but the pee puddle was a lot larger tonight (size of a desert plate, previously quarter sized) and it was the first time it was confirmed as pee. Just looking for a way to say hey, stop pissing on the floor (since I'm the only girl, and it isn't my fiance).
TL;DR: | how to get rid of extremely pungent rancid meat smell? how to politely tell guys to stop peeing on the bathroom floor/what to avoid when discussing this so roommates don't get mad? |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: "Here are some pics from my trip" [50 total.] I love seeing travel pics, but less is more--give 5 highlight pics first and another link to the rest
POST: I thought this was just me who felt this way, but after talking with a couple of other people, I realized it's not, so I thought I'd say something here.
I love people's travel pics. Don't get me wrong. But it seems like the tendency here is moving toward "here are a few pics I took on my trip to ____," and then there's an album with 30+ pictures. I've seen people post albums of 60+. Frankly, unless the first two or three are incredibly spectacular, I'm not going to look at all of those. I'd like to see maybe 10-20, but when someone posts a large album, chances are it's not carefully curated.
**Remember, you want to tell a story with your pics, but your readers may not want the whole novel at once!**
What will get me to look at people's photos:
1) 1-5 excellent "teaser pics" (preferably with a link in a post to a full gallery)
2) Specific title (not just "here are some pics from my trip to Europe." Europe is an entire continent. Where in Europe did you go?)
3) Not necessary, but really nice: how many photos are in your album
4) Keep your albums smallish--around 20 pics seems to be good. More than that and the "am I still scrolling?" starts to set in.
TL;DR: | Less is more. Give us a few highlights and a link to more pics, or at least write the number of pics in your gallery in the title of the post. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Just have a question about older twenty yr. old guy dating habits
POST: Hi there, I'll try to make this short. I've had absolutely terrible dating luck in my 20 years, so I joined some dating sites. On the newest site I joined, I got a message from a guy (I'm female) and we started talking. Quite honestly, he seemed a little boring, so when he asked to meet up for coffee on Monday, I was hesitant. I sucked it up and I went. It turned out to be the absolute best dating experience I've ever had. We sat at the coffee shop for a couple hours, decided to go to the movies, which turned out to be closed, then we made out for a minute or two ( he was very sweet about it, and non-aggressive), and he held my hand when he drove me back to my car. While holding hands, I asked him if this meant that he was interested in going out again, and he said, "Absolutely!" Since I'm getting my wisdom teeth out this coming week, and he has drill this weekend, we decided to meet this coming weekend. Now, he is 28, and as I stated, he is very dull while texting, that is if he even replies. I know that we're getting along great and we're both looking forward to meeting again, but it secretly bothers me in the back of my mind. Is it normal for older guys to not be into texting so much? He asked me to call him when we exchanged numbers, which I replied with, that I'm not really into phone calls with new people. So I'm hoping he's just better with calling than texting, and that he's not just blowing me off. I'm just used to friends/dates texting like crazy. I'm completely overreacting, and I know it! I just need some reassurance, I want this to work out so badly!
Turned out long and not short.
TL;DR: | Went on date with 28 yr. old guy, I am 20. Hit it off, and are both looking forward to meeting again. He appears to not be into texting, is this normal for older guys? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: We (20f and 21m) broke up 2 and half weeks ago. He already slept with another. I am pretty upset.
POST: We were dating for 2 years and a few months. We started a regular relationship but around an year and half into it, he moved to Germany to study, so we were long distance until our break up. I went to see him in November, and that was the last time we were together physically.
We broke up a couple of weeks ago, because the distance was pretty hard, mainly for him. It was an amicable break up, so much that we still speak everyday.
Yesterday, we were talking and he "told" (he didnt say, but I got the message) that he had sex with another girl. I was devastated.
I cried a lot and am still pretty heartbroken.
I can't stop thinking "*how could he be with another after only 2 weeks of your breakup?*", "*how could he fuck another woman in the same bed we slept together and made love together?*" and how I always loved him more than he loved me.
Granted, I already kissed another man, but I would not be able (emotionally speaking) to sleep with someone else without thinking about us.
I am still pretty upset... I know we are not together anymore, but really, I can not stop the thought that I loved him much, much more than he loved me.
What can you say to help me get over this?
TL;DR: | My bf and I broke up a couple of weeks ago. He already slept with another woman and I am really heartbroken about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: r/TIFU by finding out my boyfriend's father had an affair
POST: I live with my boyfriend (M24) and his parents while we are saving for our own place. I was looking for an envelope in the storage room and came across a notebook. Being nosy, I opened it and began reading the first random page it was opened to. I realized about 10 seconds in that it was his mother's diary from 2001. In the particular entry I read she wrote about how she is struggling to cope since finding out about her husband's affair. She went into details about the "much younger woman" and the "year of lies". I feel so bad for reading it and I know it was personal and none of my business but I can't un-read it and the damage has been done. His parents are still married and together and now I can't help but feel differently about his father. I know if my boyfriend found out he would be devastated so obviously I won't tell him.
TL;DR: | Read boyfriend's mother's diary from 14 years ago and found out boyfriend's father had a year-long affair with a much younger woman. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (23f) losing sexual attraction to my bf (23m) or 5 years and I want it back.
POST: To keep it short- we have tons in common, get along great, have fun together, live together, etc. but I can't get past this.
I started losing interest in sex gradually after we had been dating for about 6 months, which I thought was normal because our honeymoon phase was ending. After about 9 months, I gained about 20 lbs and I thought my lack of interest in sex was because I felt so un-sexy. I got off of birth control in case that was causing it (had been on it since age 16) and I lost the weight (now I feel sexy again) but I just couldn't get the physical attraction back. Then, more recently, I thought it was because I didnt feel as close to him, we weren't being romantic, and I had some issues with him being irresponsible, which was a turn off, but those issues have all been addressed and resolved and we basically have the perfect relationship but I still can't get turned on by him.
He is still crazy about me and I know I turn him on. The problem is, it's gotten to the point where I almost want to push him away when we kiss/have sex. It doesn't feel right, but I want so desperately to get it back. For the first six months we were dating we couldn't keep our hands off of each other and had a great sex life but that has gradually dwindled to close to nothing.
I am not on any medication, I'm healthy and I exercise and eat right, and I still want sex/masturbate, and I have recently noticed my eyes wandering and other people turning me on (I feel terrible about this and would never act on it) but I just can't find that attraction to him anymore.
Everything else in our relationship is perfect and I love this man with all of my being. I'm just not attracted to him sexually, despite how much I want to.
TL;DR: | Perfect relationship, but I have almost completely lost sexual attraction. I want to know how to get it back, or is this the end of the road for us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How to cope with a out-of-the-blue "break"? [20/F] & [20/M]
POST: Backstory, we started dating in high school and we made it through our first year of college. He [20/M] ended up going to a school 100 miles away but we made the distance work. We saw each other every 3rd week, face timed every so often, etc. Everything really has seemed fine. We have had our usually arguments, nothing too bad though. Lately he's been pulling away and I confronted him about it. Things had seemed to get better but last night I had gotten upset about him lying to me (it was something trivial, shouldn't have even brought it up honestly). I had started crying on our FaceTime call, and he just sat there and did nothing. Which made it worse.. obviously. Then he got off the call and fell asleep before I could say goodnight.
I ended up venting a little bit in text when he was asleep about how I wish he would try to comfort me when I was upset (probably could've avoided that too). But today he kept acting like he's the worst boyfriend ever, how he doesn't treat me properly, and that he knows I'm "not" happy. (I really and truthfully am with him, I'm just overly emotional and college has stressed me out beyond belief and made me much moodier). But when I asked him if he was happy, he avoided the question and I knew something was up. We talked on the phone for an hour and he told me "he wasn't ready to settle down".. which was a complete shock to me because this whole relationship he always told me how much he couldn't wait for "our lives together after college" and we made future plans for this and that. He told me things aren't looking good and we need a break.
I'm just too in shock to be logical and can't think clearly. Any advice on how to cope?
TL;DR: | My [20/F] boyfriend [20/M] of 1.5 years decided he wasn't ready to settle down and called for a "break" out-of-the-blue. Any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: a question for fellow guys, kinda NSFW text
POST: So im a pretty normal sized guy downstairs, but one day, a "good friend" of mine and I start messing around, and when i pulled out my dick, it seriously surprised me.It was bigger both in length and girth. At first i thought it was just all in my head (haha), but before i even said anything about it, the "friend" said it was the largest she'd seen me before.
im just asking, is it normal get larger depending on certain factors? i mean, ive messed around with this girl plenty of times before, so its not like anything was new, but shoot, if i could get my dick that large every time, it'd add some more fun to the bedroom. Thanks
TL;DR: | messed around with a girl, dick got noticeably larger than normal, is there something that some guys can do to get bigger? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: This girl [25F] thinks her and I [24M] are dating. How do I let her down easy?
POST: Met her on OKCupid. I didn't really like her profile or anything but as a 24 year old guy I want to meet as many people as possible to build some perspective and experience.
On our first date we met in a coffee shop, I could tell she really liked me (couldn't keep eye contact, gigantic smiles, kept kicking me etc.) but I didn't find her interesting or pretty. About 30 minutes in she decided to sit next to me, I let her do it, then she initiated more physical contact which I should've stopped but didn't because I know that it would make her feel like shit if I stopped her from leaning on my shoulder and stuff. After that, we met once more at another coffee shop and pretty much same thing happened. I try to be a gentleman and even when I'm not attracted to someone I treat them very nicely, but I think I sent the wrong message. Another mistake I made would be that she kept asking me why I don't have a girlfriend yet, accusing me of being a player with a lot of girls... and I denied that because it simply isn't true. But she took it as sort of confirmation that she is only girl in my life. Fuck my life.
She keeps texting me about making plans and wants to meet like 3 times a week. Not only that, she keeps demanding stuff from me (like making her food, taking her out to places, calling her everyday etc.) She also says she'll kill me if she sees me with another girl, I'm lucky to have her, how she showed pictures of me to her sisters and they spent hours talking about me etc. So my guess is that she thinks we're dating.
Similar things happened before in my life and I would just cut all contacts, but I don't want to do that anymore because it really hurts the girl's feelings. I can't say I have the guts to do it in person, but I would like to do it in person, so some advice regarding how to approach this situation would be very helpful. Thank you!
TL;DR: | After two dates a girl thinks we're already dating but I'm not interested. I need an advice on how to let her down easily. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[17f] can't control my temper with my sister[12f] and often end up emotionally hurting her...help?
POST: I honestly am sick of myself, I've never had issues with controlling my temper before, It's only with her. She is very hard-headed like me and when we get into arguments neither of us back down. I think she is an amazing girl and I consider her to be my world, but It's like I can't help but argue with her. I've just gotten out of a extremley bad experience with depression and I'm still dealing with anxiety, and I feel like I'm messing her up too with how I treat her. I always say stuff I never mean and the other day we were in the middle of arguing and I said "Stop acting like such a self absorbed brat, just because you don't get your way doesn't mean you should hate them. Just be glad they aren't abusive." Then she said, "Well that doesn't matter when I have an abusive sister!"
and I realized she is right. I'm horribly abusive to her emotionally. I recognize that and I really *really* **really** don't want to be, but it always seems like I can't control my temper. I'd ask to go to anger management, but I've put my family through enough with all the depression counseling....
I also feel like I've brought down her self esteem. She used to be so bright and always happy and was everything I wanted to be, but I feel like I destroyed that. I've tried to blame it on her becoming a teenager, but I know it's me.
Can anyone give me advice on to how to make our relationship work, and make her feel like I love her again?
Is there some type of counseling I can do online?
TL;DR: | I emotionally abuse my sister in arguments and I feel like I made her develope a form of depression. how do I fix it and control my anger? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by attacking the leader of the drum line with cymbals
POST: So a few years ago, as a freshman, I had to do something called "Pep Band". It was a requirement for all band students where you just go to a school basketball game and play music with the rest of the band. There was this brass kid that would always screw with the percussion instruments for no damn reason. As a percussionist, I felt it was my responsibility to stop him every time he did this. I usually did this by poking him with a stick, or just hitting him with whatever I currently had in my hand. So one time at pep band I saw someone who looked like the previous mentioned kid grabbing some cymbals. So I went up to him, said "back off" and whacked him with my cymbals. He slowly turned around and said in a stern voce "What. The. Fuck". I then realized that it was the leader of the drum line, who already hated me. So I dropped my cymbals and hauled ass.
TL;DR: | I attacked a well known senior as a freshman because I mistaked him for an annoying dickbutt. I then ended up being the annoying dickbutt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [M18] attracted to my friend's [M18] girlfriend [F18]
POST: I have a friend who has been dating a girl for about a year. Before they started dating, I was friends with both of them, and I was happy for them.
It has become apparent, however, that he doesn't really seem to care about the relationship. He cheated on her 6 months ago (she still doesn't know), was going to break up with her to hook up with one of his female friends before deciding against it, and is generally not open with her.
I have become frustrated at this because I really do like this girl. We have a similar sense of humor, she's pretty, and there are a lot of little things about her I like. She also tends to act somewhat flirty with me, which makes it worse.
What do I do? Wait until they break up? Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: | I'm attracted to my friend's girlfriend. He's not a good boyfriend and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear reddit all of my closest friends have rekindled friendships with my ex who I hate after years of no contact. I don't want to loose my friends, but I don't want to share them with that bitch either. What can I do?
POST: We split up like 5 years ago after a 6.5 year relationship. The last time I remember seeing her she tried fucking someone I thought was a friend on the couch at my birthday party when they thought everyone was passed out. Then shit hit the fan and holes got punched in walls.
After that I kept my core group of like 4 friends and broke off contact with almost everyone else. As far as I know my friends had no more contact with her than chance encounters in public places. Then some time in the last year she started creeping back in. Having dinner with their families and various activities. Then the other night she had a birthday party and they all went. None of my friends sees the double standard here because every one of them would be pissed if I started hanging out with their ex's.
I don't want to loose my friends, but I would rather start over in that regard than have that bitch back in my world with only one degree of separation. I don't know how to handle this. Help me.
TL;DR: | My friends are being hypocrites by hanging with my ex and I cannot accept them being friends with her. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [16/M] mother [40+/F] slapped me over communication issues
POST: My mother got angry today morning that I wasn't communicating properly with her.
I agree that I was not being the best at communicating and was not really talking to her all that much this week because I had a lot of other plans but she got really angry today because I didn't tell her that I was going to the beach and only told them I was "going out".
She then blew her top and slapped me on nose really hard and it almost bled. We've had a lot of breakdowns like this over the past year and this one is no different.
From the time I left the house, she kept messaging me and calling me, saying that if I leave, it is my loss and it is for my good that I should stay with her and keep our relationship. My father also tried to say that she was acting up and that I should try to move on. It has been more than 5 years since either of my parents raised their hands on me and I was very stunned that my mother had done it today.
What do I do? I am not very interested in keeping a relationship with my mother so how do I slowly distance myself from her?
TL;DR: | Mother hit me today for the first time in years over a small issue. Parents have been trying to get me to forgive and forget. How do I distance myself slowly? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what are some mind games and tricks you like to play on people? Examples inside.
POST: There's a game that requires one partner to play in order to fuck with peoples' minds. It's called "cahoots." You start by asking your partner if you're in cahoots. Your partner will tell you yes. The point of the game is for them to guess which item YOU are thinking about. You start by listing items. "Is it the computer?" No. "Is it that pencil?" No. "Is it your pants?" No. "Is it my pants?" YES. Your partner will know what item it is you chose because of a code word or code system you set up before you played. In this case the code word is any PERSONAL pronoun. Your, my, his, her, their, our. They will know the next item you pick is going to be right item and their answer should be YES.
This is a lot of fun when there's a 3rd party around and they pick the item and the person saying YES or NO is supposed to figure it out. The game is meant to be played around people who don't understand the game. It's a troll game but there should be a rhyme and reason to it so other people watching can pick it up and figure it out.
Another game in the same vain is called spoons. Get a group of people and it goes like this "There's a spoon here, here, a spoon here, a spoon in his glasses, a spoon on your nose and a spoon in my shoe. OK?" You stop and make it seem like a casual question. Just to see if they're following with how many spoons you've pointed out so far. You can continue doing this for as long as you want, but you have to keep in mind how many times you stopped and asked if they understood.
In this case the answer is only one spoon because you stopped and said "OK?" one time. Every time you stop and say something like "all right?" "ok?" "good?" They should count one. A lot of people don't get this and try counting spoons for a long, long time. Your OKs should be subtle. They might think there are 47 spoons but the spoons are the number of times you say "ok?" or "all right?"
TL;DR: | Reddit, what mind games, brain games, or verbal puzzle games do you know and like to play, and confuse and aggravate people with? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Love at first sight, she says
POST: So I met a girl, she asked me out, I'm 17 (m) years old and I recently asked her if she wanted to be my girl and she said yes. one super mega socially akward first-kiss later, I am typing this.
I have a feeling that its going too fast, and I also have a feeling that she isn't too enthusiastic about seeing me. though that might also be because I'm paranoid around relation ships (longer story than you could imagine). she recently (I think??) broke up with her ex-boyfriend, though I don't know much about that, some people seemed to be confused about me being her new boyfriend aswell.
how do I know she really loves me? I also feel like everything I do is the wrong thing to do, since with 'love at first sight' it seems as if she believes/believed* I am perfect, which I am far from. I don't want to mess this up since I never got such an opportunity :/
TL;DR: | girl says it was love at first sight, I'm not sure if its going too fast and I have a feeling that I disappoint her with every step I take. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What the thing your body does that annoys you the most? I'll go first...
POST: If im in a hurry and need to take a shit, ill decide to pull the trigger on it depending on the importance of where im headed, and varying degrees of comfort. But sometimes holding it is impossible thus I have to go right away. Why is it almost every time this happens I'll shit and it will take 5 minutes, and a half a roll of toilet paper to get my asshole clean? When im not in a hurry and im just laying around the house ill shit and wipe and nothing will come off on the paper. One and done. If by chance I am home and I know its gonna take half a roll ill just hop in the shower and clean up. Nothing worse than continuing your day with a raw ass.
TL;DR: | Why when I take a shit when something important is going on does it takes half a roll, but when nothing is going on ill wipe and nothing will come off on the paper. This annoys the fuck out of me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[33F] best friend[31F] is lying to the guy she is seeing[30sM] and I want to tell him.
POST: So long story short my friend used to be married to a real asshole and she stuck it out way longer than she should have. During the breakdown of her marriage she met another guy and they started as friends but pretty quickly she let it slip she was having feelings for this guy. She finally filed for divorce, and then her and the new guy started dating officially. But the new guy doesn't know that she was married when they first met – she told him she was already divorced. When in truth, the papers weren't filed until after her and the guy were dating, she was only separated.
This guy is really sweet, and I know that I would not be able to forgive a person who lied about that. I have asked my friend and all she says is it's her decision and she isn't sure she's serious with this guy and she sort of insinuates it's none of my business. But it is. This is going to be my best friend's boyfriend and so part of my life, and I feel he should know. And I think what she's doing to him is plain wrong and I can't imagine sitting in a room with them knowing what I know, when he doesn't.
TL;DR: | My best friend is lying to her new guy and I think it's wrong; should I tell him and how do I tell him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Missed a potential job offer call earlier today. Already called and left a message hours ago. No call back yet. What do I do?
POST: I had an interview yesterday and they told me they'd update me by the end of the day today. I got a call from an out of state number before my lunch around 11:25 am that I couldn't answer. The interviewer left a voicemail saying to call her back when I had a chance. I called back about 25 minutes later saying sorry for missing her again and to give me a call when she could as well. It's been nearly 5 hours since then and it's almost 5 pm here. Is it OK for me to call again before the end of the day?
TL;DR: | Missed call with update about a job I interviewed for. Returned call and left a message. No word back after 5 hours. Should I call again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Does anyone have any GOOD experiences after being broken up with; with SO wanting to stay friends?
POST: I'm[22m] just curious, I'm kind of in the end-zone of healing from a break-up (which you can find in my posts, if you're curious)... she[19f] left me for the sake of wanting to spend more time with her friends (reasonable, considering the school load + work + co-op coming for her... or straight up lie, who the hell knows).
I've only had brutal past relationship break-ups that resulted in me being angry for about 2 months, then spiraling out into self-hatred, alcohol then a good depression (good times, sigh). This time was different...
We've been NC for roughly 3 weeks+ now and I've been fighting every urge to message her.
Have any of you waited about a month+ after a similar break-up situation to try and start a friendship? If so, were you fooling yourself into trying to not fall for your ex-SO again?
TL;DR: | I've never had a healthy break-up until this one and just ended up rage-NCing previous girls, burning the fucking bridge. I can't help but wonder if she's worth keeping as a friend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my friend [20 F]. Do I give time?
POST: So recently I've been falling for one of my very good friends. I haven't connected with a girl like this before. She recently got out of a long term relationship however. We drunkenly made out about a week ago and she said it felt weird after being in a relationship so long. I discussed the idea of us and she said wait a few days to give her time to think.
So we meet up a few days later to discuss things. Chatting to her was as awesome as ever but when it turned to us it turned very awkward. She basically said we go back to college in a week, lets wait until summer (a month or so).
At the time I agreed. Maybe she still needs time after breaking up with her boyfriend. But since then I've been thinking, I'm basically waiting for this girl with no idea if she's interested or not. I can't stop thinking about her and if she goes off to college and comes back with another guy it would crush me. I'd rather she tell me now whether anything could happen so I can move on if necessary.
So my question is, do I ask her outright now or do I give her time to process everything and get over her bf?
TL;DR: | Long term friend suggests waiting over a relationship with me. Can't tell if she needs time or is just putting off a rejection |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I don't know where to go with this relationship, and i don't want to screw up a friendship
POST: I work with a girl, she just turned 24 not to long ago, and i m 20, soon to be 21. We hangout together all the time and we have been on multiple unofficial dates (hangout, i buy dinner, watch movies) except because we work together and have known each other for a while i don't want to screw up the relationship! we have talked about going on a vacation and concerts, and I am not sure how to find out what she thinks about this relationship.. I plan on cooking dinner for her soon, just the two of us, at my place, what would be the best way to either make a move or approach this in conversation without screwing over the entire relationship, if we are not dating, i still want to be friends.
TL;DR: | A girl [24F] that I [20M] am friends with is giving some signs of liking me but we also work together and i want to see if she likes me without screwing up the relationship we currently have. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M] got recently broken up with by GF [21 F] and am struggling
POST: I know some of of you may read the title and go, 7 months? Try 5 years kid! But truth be told is that I loved this girl so dearly. She loved me back. It's just the balance with a serious relationship weighed on her, and with school, friends, etc. it was just too much for her. At least that's what she told me.
I am also feeling some guilt myself, that my insecurities and anxieties could have led to this. We didn't hang out with her side of friends that much, which is why she requested this time spread out. I couldn't help it, my insecurities were so deep I was scared her friends would be like, oh god that's the guy she chose. And it kills me now saying this, because I should've done what was right and not give into the fear. But she assured me that she didn't hold me accountable for this.
Before present day now, she was on a long break. Part of me thinks this time away she rekindled this idea of being free and not being tied down in a relationship. Who knows, she told me how she felt and that's what's on the table.
It sucks. It truly does. But I guess moping about it all day isn't going to solve much. I have to be my own person, and I'll try to be as supportive as I can to her.
TL;DR: | gf of 7 months ended it with me, needed a rebalance in life, wasn't ready for a serious relationship. i'm bummin. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 F] found some underage pictures on boyfriend's [26 M] [6 yrs] computer, not sure how to feel about it.
POST: So my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years now, been living together for almost 4. I admit to having trust issues from things he's done in the past. I used to snoop through his computer/phone a lot and just get upset because I'd always find something. (About 6 months after he moved in with me I caught him texting half naked pictures back and forth with an old female friend he knew from high school, which sort of explains my trust issues.) I quit snooping for the most part the last year since I know he knows how to hide it anyway (terrible reason I know) and I've finally come to accept that him looking at porn is fine and has nothing to do with me being good enough for him. Ridiculous shit, I know.
So anyways, to my point. I recently found a bunch of underage pictures on his computer and I find it pretty disturbing. They weren't fully naked, but in like revealing bikinis and ballet outfits, like 11-15 year old girls (just guessing an age range, definitely prepubescent though). He obviously didn't take them, but this is the first time I've found anything like this and I feel like wanting to download stuff like this isn't okay. I deleted them, but I don't know if I should say something to him about it.
I know he won't bring it up to me even if he knows I saw them. I've just been trying to act like I'm not upset, I didn't want to bring it up to him right before Thanksgiving and fuck up our trip we had planned. I get that some people have kinky fetishes or whatever but I just find this to be creepy and a big turn off.
Why would I want to have a daughter with someone who gets off to this sort of thing? I'm just curious if this is more normal than I think / am I over-reacting? Should I let it go? or is it worth bringing it up and get into a fight about it because I know I'll be in the wrong for snooping in the first place.
TL;DR: | Found some underage pictures on boyfriends computer. I feel really weirded out by it, not sure what to do or how I should bring it up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Going in to negotiate for my first "executive" position... what should I ask for?
POST: A 10 month-old start-up is looking at bringing me on as "Director of IT", aka "The only geek on staff". I've developed several programs for them already (for which I need to [figure out the license](
To come on board, I'm giving up a -really- sweet gig teaching at a private university. For a while at least, the pay will be lower than teaching and I'll be working crazy hours in "start-up mode". My concern is that one of the partners is notoriously tight-fisted, and after I do a bunch of development work he may look at me and decide I'm too expensive to keep on staff.
What kind of arrangements do people put into contracts for situations like this? "You can't fire me without cause" seems ineffective, and wouldn't work in my state anyways. "If I leave, I take everything I developed with me" would rock, but they'd be idiots to sign it.
Maybe some kind of equity arrangement with a vesting schedule? I doubt they're in the mood to part with any of the company, but is there a way to put a lock on future revenues as long as they use my systems?
TL;DR: | I'm terrified that I'm about to put a ton of hours into a new job and get sacked as soon as all their systems work. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I (F 24) break up with my partner (M 22) of 3 years because over the last 6 months he has acted violently towards me?
POST: Today we were having an argument. I was yelling and he forcefully pushed me in the stomach. Not enough to put me on the floor but enough to make me stop arguing and cry.
Last month he was extremely drunk, when I suggested we leave he shoved me in the chest in front of his friend.
Earlier in the year he headbutted me to end another argument - which had me in tears with a terrible margarine.
These are three incidents over what has been a 3 year happy non-violent r/ship. Afterwards he always apologizes and says it won't happen again.
Should I stay with him or are things only going to gt worse?
TL;DR: | Is it valid to end a 3 year relationship because recently my partner becomes somewhat violent when we are arguing/disagreeing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: College student (18) moving out and becoming financially independent by summer 2014. Where do I start?
POST: I wish I could say it was by choice, but either way, I have to get something figured out. I grew up in an abusive household, an environment I'm still in, but it has been decided for me that I need to leave.
I'm looking to be going to UCF or Valencia College in Orlando, and will start saving up now to move out there. I have about $500 in savings, and I work 30 hours a week at $10/hr. I have a family member who has offered to help by sending a little bit money monthly to help me get on my feet.
Very soon I will have to pay $250/mo for car insurance, and $65 for phone (will most likely change plans from family). I am most likely going to take a second job alongside going to school full time for the spring semester in order to help expedite the process.
My first step will be to open a savings and checkings that is out of my parents' reach (my mother cosigned on my current checkings, and regularly takes money out). Any advice which bank?
And any advice on how to handle the situation will be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | 6 months to become financially independent and move to Orlando to continue school. Advice/direction needed. Also, any advice on schooling (scholarships, grants I could use, ect.) would be great as well. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by being greedy
POST: This actually happened 30 minutes ago.
I'm a (cigarettes) smoker and live in a country where cigarettes are expensive as hell. As I often travel to Asia for business I often bring back a few cartons (allowance is one). Since I'm the business travel type of suit-wearing dude I never get checked at border control so this has become a habit.
Until today, that is. So I land after a hemorrhoid-inducing 13 hour flight and hurry to grab by bag so I can go have a smoke. On to the belt where I see my luggage arriving and immediately notice a large crack in the casing.
So I go to the baggage investigations desk and file a complaint. In order to do this however I have to pass next to the border control.
At the baggage desk we fill out all forms and they take me to a back room where I can take a new trolley. I give the girl there my nicest smile and am very polite so she offers me any trolley I like from the same brand. Even though they have my exact model, I choose a classier one which also happens to be bigger. After all, size matters. I quickly move my sh!t from the old trolley to the new one, manage to also fit my laptop bag in and leave.
This is where the FU happens. When passing border control again, I get immediately pulled aside as they noticed my different bag. I show them the papers from the baggage desk but they decide to search my bag anyway.
Had 3 cartons, 2 got confiscated and had to pay a fine. Fuck you, karma.
TL;DR: | brought more smokes than allowed, 2/3 got confiscated and I got fined for being greedy when choosing a replacement trolley for damaged one. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why is it called the Middle East?
POST: Iran, Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Turkmenistan, Turkey, Jordan, Israel, Palestine, Egypt, Oman, Yemen, UAE, Qatar, etc.
All countries above are apart of the Middle East, a part of Asia which is located in the Eastern Hemisphere. Now, why is it called that/is it an oxymoron?
If we apply the ME to the EH, than geographically it would be incorrect. Asia starts at Russia/Turkey, and extends all the way to Japan and Indonesia. The borders of the Middle East are Turkey - Afghanistan. Neither start or end are "middle" of the EH. 'Middle of the EH' would be more suited for India, Nepal, Vietnam, Cambodia, etc.
And even as words, Middle East sounds like an oxymoron. How can something be middle, but also east? It would be like calling Spain "Eastern West".
TL;DR: | why is it called the Middle East when not only is it not 'middle of the eastern hemisphere' but also an oxymoron? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Was this a jerk move?
POST: I was running 12 miles with a pack of 5 over the weekend as part of a club training program. We are all in the same pace group and we were supposed to run the same moderate pace throughout. By that I mean the program head recommended a pace and advises us not to go faster to not hurt ourselves, but I usually don't listen if I'm feeling good that day (yeah I know, I should listen). So, after the turn-around point, I was feeling really good so I broke off from the group and ran ahead the remaining 6 miles at a much faster pace. My question: is it a jerk move to break off from a group of people and run ahead?
Background info: I only knew 1 guy in the group (acquaintances - the rest I had never met before) and he seemed fine staying with those people.
In retrospect, I guess the correct protocol is:
1) Ask the people I am running with if they want to go faster with me (I couldn't do it in this case cuz they were supposed to be running that pace)
2) If the answer is no, ask them if its ok if I break away
3) If the answer is no, then stay with them. (Understandable in creepy, unknown places). If the answer is yes, then fly away.
Excuse all the rambling.
TL;DR: | Do you guys ever break away from your running buddies? (Assuming your running abilities are the around the same) Do they understand? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Stray Kitten at Home. Want to Adopt. Need help.
POST: Y'see, there's this cute tiny stray kitten at home. She likes to stay under my mom's ice cream freezer. Mom doesn't like her under there. Another problem is that there's one other adult stray cat - I once gave a fish head to the kitten and the older cat wanted to get it. I was there while the kitten was eating so I made the big cat go away. And mom has a big dog who tends to be quite the jealous type (so my that she was actually biting her puppies, but that's another story) I want to take the kitten up to my room but I can't have her running around the place. I have random food and who knows how many tiny sharp things. Can I just have her inside a huge box? I know she'll eventually learn to jump out or claw out, but maybe by then I have cleaned my room and she has learned to use the litterbox.
TL;DR: | stray kitten, need to relocate cat, but need to confine cat to tiny space. and how do i train her to use a litterbox? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (25/F) am selfish in bed...but only when I sleep.
POST: Relationships, I have a weird dilemma on my hands, that is 25 years in the making.
I am an asshole in bed. The queen of assholes. It all started when I was a kid, about 7 years old and 40lbs soaking wet. My mom never liked sharing a bed with me because of all my flailing/moving around/blanket hogging. I thought I was well past this, but my current partner has informed me that this is not the case.
My partner is a cuddler in bed; I am not. I can't sleep with someone holding on to me. I wake up pretty frequently to him snuggling me, and it generally results in me tossing and turning a lot throughout the night. On top of that, I had a very embarassing (yet somewhat hilarious) incident happen last week involving this.
I went to bed early before him. I remember waking up to him trying to cuddle me, and me going "Nooooooooooo". Think of the "Stuart" voice from MadTV in the 90s. He told me I also said "no snuggles!", and that I then "fought" with him over the comforter by holding on to one corner for dear life as he tried to tuck himself in. I woke up later on to him curled up with another comforter, and me hoarding/wrapped like a burrito in the oversized comforter intended for the two of us. Me (not knowing what had happened), tucked him back in, and went back to sleep.
Is there anything I can do in regards to this? I've been single for quite a while before him, so I don't know if I'm just so used to having "me" space in bed (and a blanket to myself) that is causing this. I know there's not much I can do if I'm deep in sleep, but does anyone have any suggestions for this weird predicament? I also sleep talk and sometimes sleep walk as well; this has been happening more frequently lately, but I've also been under a lot of stress, which may explain this cropping up more.
TL;DR: | I am the worst person to share a bed with, and I am the queen of assholes when it comes to personal space and sharing blankets when I sleep. Halp. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [32/f] My boyfriend [38/m] only says I love you during sex (a little NSFW)
POST: Sorry in advance for the long back story but think it might help understand the situation. I met my boyfriend about 2 months ago. He lives across the country and we recently met up and totally hit it off. I think he is the one and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. So about a month after we met, I was visiting and while we were having sex he looked at me and said that I was it for him and that he loved me. I didn't say it back because I felt scared for some reason (commitment issues). So about a week later he is visiting me and he asks me (during sex) how much I like him. And basically asks me if I love him and I say yes. Then, the next night we are laying in bed and he is getting emotional about leaving and says "I love you". And I said "I love you too". And it was nice. That time actually we weren't having sex when he said it. So last night we were on the phone getting into sex talk (phone sex) and he says "How much do you like me?" and for some reason I just can't say I love you that easily yet, so he asks me if I still love him and I say yes. And it TOTALLY turns him on! I understand that that level of intimacy for some people is a huge turn on but I'm concerned that he doesn't really love me and just says it as a way to get himself turned on when we are having sex. And the truth is that I do love him, very, very much. Even though we have only known each other a short time I know this is it for me. So, I guess the advice I am looking for is should I believe him when he says "I love you" since it is only during sex and not other times? Why not during romantic times when we are on the beach or after a nice dinner? Either way, it doesn't change the way I feel about him, I am totally smitten. Thanks in advance!
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TL;DR: | ] Boyfriend only says I love you during sex and I'm concerned he is using it to turn himself on and isn't being sincere. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] have a huge crush on my friend [26M] but am in no way attracted to him physically.
POST: My boyfriend of 6 years died 11 months ago and I without entirely knowing what was happening I entered into a downward spiral of depression. After finally getting on antidepressants a month ago I am starting to feel like myself again.
I recently (6 months ago) met a new group of friends and started hanging out with them a lot. One of the guys in the group is an absolute sweetheart and is genuinely the funniest person I have ever met. After being depressed for so long, he cheers me up by just being who he is. Our personalities are absolutely perfect for each other.
The only problem is that I am in no way sexually attracted to him but I am so attracted to his personality. I know that he likes me so I don't want to lead him on but at the same time I just want to make an emotional connection with someone. Our group of friends went camping this weekend and we spent the majority of the weekend just hanging out together, being drunk, and holding hands. It just felt good to do that but I don't want to mislead him into thinking this could actually turn into a relationship. Should I just cut this off to be fair to him or is there another solution?
TL;DR: | I [24F] have a huge crush on my friend [26M] but am in no way attracted to him physically. Should I just let it go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: How to position a LinkedIn profile after being laid off?
POST: Long story short - Was working remotely full-time for a Bay Area startup. Missed a round of funding, and in order to float the company for a few more months and to finish important product development updates, had to do a bunch of layoffs. My position (digital marketing manager) was one of them. So it goes.
My question is - now that I'm actively applying and interviewing with companies, how should I position my LinkedIn profile so that it shows I'm interested in new opportunities, but that I didn't get fired/quit for no reason at the startup? I put "open to new opportunities" on my Angel List profile, but am not sure how well that would fly on LI. I have one written endorsement for my position there from my boss and am working on getting one more. Just not sure how to approach it. Do I update the position to show that I no longer work there and am currently unemployed? I've never been in a situation like this.
TL;DR: | Startup going under, got laid off, trying to figure out how I should show on my LinkedIn that I'm interested in new opportunities and that I wasn't fired from said startup. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [20M] really like this girl [19F] who has a boyfriend but flirts with me constantly.
POST: I met her on a trip with our school's math club last semester and we really hit it off. She brought up her boyfriend a couple times not long after we met, but it was only to complain about how he was treating her. I found out she had a boyfriend in the first place because we were trying to figure out sleeping arrangements on the trip and one of the people we were rooming with got all weird about me and her sleeping in the same bed bc of her boyfriend. She didn't care at all though, considering the guy's girlfriend was really sick that night so he needed to be with her.
Anyways, she last brought him up in May. Haven't heard anything about him since then. The only reason I know they're still together is because every now and then she'll tag him in a Facebook post. I saw her again the other day for the first time since April (she spent the summer in Italy), and it was just nonstop flirting from both of us, still no mention of her boyfriend or anything.
I honestly don't know what to do. We have a few plans for the coming months that most people (my friends, at least) would consider dates. I don't want to be a home wrecker, but I also don't want to lose her, as a friend or anything more that might develop. What should I do?
TL;DR: | I really, really like this girl, but she has a boyfriend, but she doesn't seem happy with him on the rare occasion that she actually mentions him, and she flirts with me constantly. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Declawing advice!
POST: I have a 1 yr old polydactyl cat that has 9 toes on one front paw, 8 on the other and 10 on each back foot. We've had her about 9 months.
Her little monster paws have issues with ingrown claws. We clip her twice a week but they still turn in and the vet said it would be best for her to get rid of the ones that are constantly growing back in. Also, she has minor walking issues probably due to the pain of the claws.
Which leads me to our dilemma...she's going under for 3 claws to be removed, should we remove the rest? She is a terror and rips up everything but could that be the pain from the claws?
Also we have BARELY gotten her to start using the litter box as she is a very difficult cat. If we get her declawed, does that mean that she'll start having litter box issues again?
TL;DR: | poly cat has medical need for 3 claws to be removed, should we do rest while she's under and what are consequences typically behaviorally? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, I'm thinking about adopting a cat and need some advice first.
POST: Background information: My fiance's dad has become really sick and can no longer take care of their cat. Unfortunately her roommate is allergic to cats, and so is everyone in my family, therefore I am the only option left for this cat. I rent an apartment closer to my school but usually leave Friday afternoon and don't come back till Sunday evening. Is it okay for me to leave enough food and water out for those two days or will this be harmful to the cat? I will be at the apartment for the other 5 days of the week, but just won't be there for 48 hours. Should I get two water and food bowls for the weekend?
TL;DR: | Adopting a cat, is it okay for me to leave enough food and water out for two days or will this be harmful to the cat? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [18 M] I'm worried about a type of personal problem I have with dating
POST: I'm not new to relationships, I've had quite a few. And I've liked them a lot. I've even been in love with a girl or so before. But there is an issue.
My first few highschool relationships were definitely bad. I was played, screwed over, lots of simple stupid bad stuff. Later on I noticed that in a couple of my relationships, I had a weird thing happen. Such as mid way through a relationship I just go blank. I lose all feeling for that person. I like them. I KNOW I do. But it's very confusing.
It would ultimately end up ruining the relationship because I had no idea what I felt, or thought at all.
Then there's these other times,
Where I've found a girl, and slowly over time, I would absolutely *lose my mind* thinking about this girl. It was almost like a full on love.
I believe I do love everyone, and that may be what I feel. But It gets to the point where I will panic and stress out hard at the most simple things. Id look into every. single. Detail. And think it was something bad. And worry.
Right now, I'm curious.
I haven't had a relationship in 6 months. Last one was a relationship similar to the latter I described. I'm horrible at dealing with either. Would anyone have any advice on what exactly would cause me to
-Lose all emotion or feeling to a person
Or
-Gain a crazy amount of attraction and emotion to a girl.
TL;DR: | Halfway into a relationship I'll lose all feelings I have for a person. No matter how strong. It worried me It may happen again or I may not experience a real, meaningful long lasting relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 F] with my ex [18 F] of 2 months, she can't move on from me
POST: I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 months. I broke up with her because I became depressed and lost interest and motivation in her. I have already moved on, but she believes we still have something.
She still texts me everyday telling me she still loves me, begging me to try to make things work again, etc. She knows I was depressed and tells me she'll help me get out of it and stuff.
I tell her to move on and let go, and that I have lost interest.
Am I being too nice with her? Is this just her way of coping?
TL;DR: | Broke up with my girlfriend because I was depressed, I have moved on but she still texts me begging me to come back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22M) cheated on my girlfriend (22F) and am desperate to repair it.
POST: We were dating for about 3 months when she left for a trip to study abroad for 4 months. We said before she left that we were going to stick it out and stay together. While she was gone for about two weeks, I made out with a friend. Somehow she had a suspicion that something happened even from thousands of miles away and we didn't speak for a few days. The next weekend I got with the same friend, went back to her house and basically did everything but sex. My girlfriend found out about it last weekend, 9 months later. I tried to lie but eventually broke down. It was the worst feeling in the world to see her so heartbroken and devastated because of me. It was a drunken mistake that I ended before she came home and would do anything to take back. After my whole story came out, she admitted that while she was away she had an emotional connection with a guy lasting for two months. This happened because I was not taking care of her needs and just being a shitty boyfriend (complaining to her on the phone about my day, not asking her anything about her day, not sending her a valentines day gift, etc). She turned to this guy because he was fulfilling her needs and making her feel special like I should have been. Their relationship never turned physical but she did admit that she was thinking about breaking up with me because she enjoyed talking to him more. What she did isn't right either but I'm trying to be understanding. I messed up the best thing I've ever had in my life. She has decided to go one month without any contact whatsoever and I plan on spending all that time working on myself for her, but I feel like her mind is already made up. I am desperate to correct it. I am starting to go to therapy on Monday but in the meantime I need help sorting this out.
TL;DR: | Was a terrible boyfriend to the best girl in the world and now I want to do everything I can to start new and fix it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] been with my GF [21 F] 10 months, GF is moving to another city soon, big decision to make
POST: GF and I have been dating for about 10 months with a good chunk of that in an LDR as she has been studying abroad. She will be moving to NYC when she finishes undergrad (for her job and family proximity) in december while I live in Baltimore. I do want to move to a new, bigger city in the near future, but never wanted to go to NYC because of how crazy expensive it is. I also just started a new job a few months ago and the earliest I could move career-wise would be roughly a year from now.
She has thrown out the possibility of moving in together in NYC as a way of cutting the cost down. However, I think moving to a city I don't otherwise want to be in and immediately moving in together is generally a bad idea, especially when we have not been dating that long. But I really couldn't afford to move there on my own and I hate the idea of spending most of my money on rent.
I love her, and I'd like to find a way to make things work, but I am having trouble finding a way to make moving to NYC a smart/reasonable decision. We could just delay the decision until December and see how we are feeling then, but I am not sure what could change before then to make this easier/better. It would suck to miss out on the next 5 months of being together, especially when she is finally getting back from being abroad, but I also don't want to just delay the inevitable.
Any advice on what I should do? Am I being selfish/irrational?
TL;DR: | GF will be moving in a few months to a city I can't afford. She offered to move in together when it happens. I think its too soon, but can't think of another option, don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [21m] feeling excluded by my roommates/friends
POST: I've known my roommates for almost 2 years now. We are all in college and met when we were sophomores and living on campus. We've been living together since August, and I feel left out. When they go and do stuff, they won't invite me. They'll literally make plans right in front of me and get ready then go without even saying "see ya later" or anything. We get along fine, we talk and hang out in each other's rooms and there's no domestic discord. The same thing is happening with the extended group of friends that they have introduced me to. Their friend Tyler and his fiance and his fiance's friends come over once a week to play poker and chill, and I join them and it's all fine but just the other day we were all in the living room and after getting a text and reading it, one roommate said "Hey Jimmy and Erik, Pattie (Tyler's fiance) wants us to come over tonight for poker" and they got up and left without even saying a word to me.
The thing is, everybody in this group (including the extended group of friends) have been best friends since high school (they ALL went to the same high school, all 6 of them) but I feel as if I have broken into the group pretty well. None of them dislike me, the extended group of friends have all requested to be my friends on Facebook and I can't imagine that they would do that if they didn't like me somewhat. I'm just getting a little down on myself because I feel excluded and everybody knows that it's impolite to invite yourself to social gatherings.
All of my other friends work all the time so I see them maybe once every other week so I just end up sitting at home and watching Netflix all the time. What should I do about this?
TL;DR: | Roommates are making plans to go out right in front of me and then not even bothering to invite me, feeling excluded. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Weighing the options of getting some clarity. One week broken up.
POST: My ex and I were dating about two months. At the beginning she was always saying how lucky she felt. I felt lucky too, but I didn't always say it. Didn't feel I needed to say it. Things feel great. Going well. We have plans last week for the following day. I had a particularly tough day and ask if I can come by to her place. She agrees. When I get there, she says those dreaded words, "We need to talk." She says she's not excited as she thinks she should be at this point in the relationship. She says she's been thinking about for a bit. I'm deer in the headlights. I get my stuff and we part.
Over the past week, my wheels have been turning. Just can't see what was off. I want to send an email. Ask if we can talk. As much as I tell myself that it's for closure, I can't deny that part of me wants to rekindle it.
Do I not contact and go on, not knowing what happened? Contact and bite my tongue at the right spots? Hoping for a little post break-up advice. Thanks to everyone in advance.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of two months broke up with me a week ago seemingly out of the blue. Trying to figure out if and how I should contact for clarity. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: G/F and I broke up and IDK how to deal with it.
POST: M24 F20
I just broke up with my girlfriend and I feel hopelessly depressed. I wish there was a way to feel better. I don't know how I'm supposed to do anything when all I feel like doing is crying. She left for the summer last week and doesn't have a cell phone and I missed her so much. I waited all weekend long to hear from her hoping to chat with her on the computer for a little to catch up but I never did so I kind of lost my cool. Is it unrealistic for me to think that if she really wanted to keep in touch with me she would have?
She told me she doesn't have wifi in her dorm so thats why she can never chat with me. I never even have received so much as a phone call since she's been gone. I just find it hard to believe that there's no where with a phone she could use or a pay phone or a wifi signal that she couldn't have used to keep in touch. How is a long distance relationship supposed to work if there is zero communication. We got in a big fight and I said some things that I shouldn't have. Am I in the wrong for expecting a little more effort in the communication department.
I was waiting by my computer just waiting to hear from her. Things have been a little rocky lately and there was a part of my head telling me I need to move on but I can't always trust my brain. I basically sent her a message saying that I needed a breather and I was enjoying the freedom. Now that it's too late I feel like I shouldn't have said it. She told me she doesn't want me to talk to her at all anymore :( I still love this girl very much and I miss her so much. What the fuck am I supposed to do here. My head feels really messed up right now and I could use some outside advice.
TL;DR: | Started long distance relationship last week. Almost zero communication since. Lost my cool and got in fight. Now we are broken up and I'm feeling fucked up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [22/F] Met an awesome guy (22/m) when drunk, said I was French because I thought I would never see him again. Now he wants to go on a date!
POST: First off, I'm fluent in French and all of my friends are French. I lived in France for two years, was a French linguistics major, and I had just been with all of my french friends immediately before meeting him.
We started chatting and I told him I was French because why the fuck not, I'm drunk and can pull it off. But then we hit it off and I ended up giving him my number. I didn't expect him to really call me! Two days later, he called me.
What is the best way to break it to him that I'm not really French?
TL;DR: | Met a guy at a bar, hit it off with him but I lied when I first met him and said I was French thinking I would never see him again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I am a high school varsity soccer player (football for you nerds in foreign lands), I have doubts about my motivation. HELP ME D:
POST: Okay, so to start things off this is not the first time I have had motivation/ambition issues. Last year (as a freshman, I am a sophomore now) I was offered a varsity spot but declined. Not due to concern over riding the bench, but over concern over whether I wanted to play varsity with strangers, or JV with my friends. My school soccer program is not very good, and I just do not know if I even want to play, let alone varsity. It is the 2nd week of our season, practices are insanely tough, and the coach wants me. I hate to toot my own horn but I am one of the top 3 players on our team. Do I lead my team on, and take a starting spot without being motivated to keep it and play to win, or do I quit and get ridiculed like I did last year when I didnt want to play varsity? My parents also would probably not support me quitting either. I have 36 hours from now to decide.
TL;DR: | idk if motivated to play varsity soccer, do i lead team on being unmotivated, or quit and get ridiculed and anger my parents? 36 hours from now I must decide. hit me |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [18/M] suddenly obsessed with Tinder, seeming to base my happiness off of it?
POST: So I recently became obsessed with tinder after getting out of a relationship, and I'm honestly just looking for some hookups to help me get over it.
I get a decent amount of matches [F], about several every day, and I do manage to strike up conversation with them. However, for whatever reason they will stop responding in the middle of the conversation and it really bothers me. I've gotten to the point where if I check my phone and dont have a new tinder message/match I get pissed off.
I'm truly obsessed with this app, and devote so much effort and thought into it, and I think my very happiness is starting to be based off of it. I really can't live like this anymore, but it's at the point where I don't want a hookup, I need one. Help!!! What do I do?
TL;DR: | I'm obsessed with Tinder, but don't have a whole lot of luck using it. Starting to base my happiness on tinder messages/matches. Help!!! |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Dog Park Skateboard Justice
POST: I was leaving the dog park this afternoon, at about dust, with my dog on his leash. The entrance to the park is a pretty decent size hill with a few twists and turns, so visibility isn't that great.
All of the sudden, this ~15 year old kid comes FLYING down around a corner on his long-board and screams WATCH OUT. My dog freaks out and spins me around, in the process running into a tree, thus freaking him out even more. As my dog spun around I see this kid ride into the grass and take the meanest digger I have seen in a long time. I'm talking about full out face slide in the dirt.
My initial response was yelling, "dude, what the f, You gotta call it out when you come down the mountain. Make some f'ing noise". Taking a closer look, his face was a little bit bloodied up. I asked him if he was alright, to which he responded, "yeah".
So I'm sitting on the path trying to calm my dog down, who has his tail so far between his legs that its touching his front legs. Two seconds later I see this lady come down and start talking to the kid, presumably his mother. I calmed my pup down some more, checked out his limb functionality, and we came home.
Luckily, my dog is walking fine and isn't showing any signs of damage from the tree (he SLAMMED into it). I checked his pupil dilation, which is OK. Playing with him, he seems very responsive. It doesn't seem like he is concussed in any way, which makes me feel better.
TL;DR: | Stupid skateboarding kid flies recklessly down winding trail at a dog park and his skills can't stop him from taking a huge digger. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [24M] "succeed" at being single.
POST: I am, and always have been, a serial monogamist. I got into my first relationship in freshman year of HS, was with her for 18 months. Then dated another girl for half a year, then was with my first long-term SO for 7 years. We broke up in February and I spent a very difficult 6 months being single and I just got out of a 9 month relationship that started last November. Cumulatively, I've probably been single for less than a year since I was 14.
I'm really good at being a boyfriend, I love it. I thrive on being another person's part. When I'm single, I can't shake this instinct to fall for the next person I have my eye on. Now, I'm struggling to cope with my increasingly mounting attraction to one of my co-workers (not single).
My question is: what do you do to be happy and content while you're single when you're so used to being in a relationship?
TL;DR: | Serial monogamist wants to be happy single and curb an inconvenient and growing attraction for a non-single co-worker. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my colleague [29 M] that I have a crush on, problem: My father is our boss.
POST: As the title says.. I have a problem.
I have a crush on this guy that works for my dad, since I first saw him about a year ago. I started working for my dad back in November and I always blushed whenever I saw, lets call him J. We work somewhat closely together, see each other every day and talk everyday. In february, we started emailing each other a few times a day. This developed into emailing each other whenever we had time for it. About two weeks ago he asked me out and I gave him my number. It just felt right, he makes me nervous and smily. We haven't been out yet but text every day all day. He gives me butterflies and he is the first guy in years that I really really like.
We are just getting to know each other and we're on the same page with everything so far. I feel like I hit the jackpot and Im so ready for something serious! But the problem is, that
1. what if it doesnt work out.
2. What will happen if my dad finds out we're interested in each other (he has quite a temper - then again he did mention before that J is a good guy and single - my dad is jokingly looking for potential sons in law because he thinks I've been single for too long) and
3. what if for whatever reason J gets fired (or leaves) because of how our relationship might develop.
He is very very good at his job, so it would be a loss for the entire company if he were to leave.
This is the very early stage but I'm already so worried about what could happen.
Am I overthinking this? He asked me before if I'm okay with texting him so much or if I'm worried. He also said that he thinks its unprofessional but that he cares more about getting to know an interesting person than his job.
Should I stop this or just see how things go?
TL;DR: | I have feelings for my colleague and can see myself with him but my father is our boss and Im scared of might happen. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Facing disciplinary action for my partners plagiarism... thoughts?
POST: I'll try and keep this short...
Had a lengthy report due for my college writing class that was a partner project worked on throughout the semester. After turning it in my partner and I receive emails from the instructor about her concerns with two specific sections that I definitely was NOT responsible for and she would like to discuss them. I call her and after a discussion and resending of my sections with citations she says "Great, I'll grade this and I'm not going to go forward with any action towards you."
Fast forward a week and a half and I receive an email from Dean of Students requesting a meeting. At this meeting he informs me that although the teacher did request no action be pursued against me he feels that with my name on the paper and a unclear account of who sections are whos he will most likely punish both my partner and I. My partner says he though I wrote the section in question and although I obviously didn't because of the subject matter, and the instructor agrees with me, it looks like I'm going to get punished too.
Thoughts? Advice?
TL;DR: | Partner on a final term paper plagiarized, won't own up. Instructor doesn't want me punished... probably will be anyways. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by leaving my blanket outside.
POST: So, I went to bed last night with the intention of doing laundry once I woke up. Well, when I woke up I didn't have the energy to get out of bed so I ended up falling asleep again. Fast forward an hour and I'm on my way out the door because I'm going to be late for school. Before I left I decided to take my blanket outside and hang it on our fence to air out, since I could no longer wash it.
Fast forward once more, I got home from school about an hour ago and grab my blanket. I bring it inside and place it on my bed. An hour goes by and I feel something crawling on my leg, I look down and it's a mother fucking cankerworm ( ) So I throw it off my leg and get off my bed as fast as I could. I look down on my blanket and there has to be at least seven of these things.
TL;DR: | woke up late, put my blanket outside, brought it inside after many hours, didn't check it properly. It had a family of worms on it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Does anyone have any advice for dating someone who has a child when you are childless?
POST: Here's a quick backstory. I have been single for a year since my last relationship which was three years long. We were planning on getting married but she dumped me and it was a bad breakup. I wanted to take some time to work on myself and I now am ready to give a relationship a go again.
I recently met this girl that I was immediately attracted to but was hesitant since she has an infant child. I am 22 while she is 21. I tried not to pursue anything but I really can't help it. We have so much in common and I love hanging out with her. I do eventually want to get married and have children but I'm not sure if I am in over my head with her having a child.
The father is involved and they do have joint custody so she does have a lot of free time. Basically everything is telling me I shouldn't get involved but I haven't felt so strongly towards someone in a long time and is it fair to disregard someone just because they have a child?
TL;DR: | I am falling for someone who has a child while I am childless and am worried I am in over my head. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Ladies of Reddit, what do you want to happen when you constantly make awkward eye contact with a younger guy at a party?
POST: Tonight I went with my older friend to a party with his friends. I'm only 19 and the people at this house had to have all been at least 24+. I'm a nervous guy with an anxiety disorder, and kept making eye contact with this woman. She was the most absolutely beautiful, human being I've ever had the privilege to lay my eyes on. The whole night she kept undressing me with her eyes, I could feel her watching me. I'm entirely too shy, and only have confidence after a drink. But unfortunately I was at a party where anyone under 21 could not drink. (Not really unfortunate, I'm glad they were responsible.) Basically, I'm drunk, and just want to know how I should have handled this, like what may have possibly been on her mind. What do women want the man to do in this situation?
TL;DR: | I'm a pussy, what do women want young shy men to say when they know they should go talk to them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making a cop's wife think her life was in danger
POST: As with so many TIFUs, it wasn't today, but when I was a young, innocent, stupid middle schooler. My father had just returned from a business trip and brought me something that was shortly going to catch on in a big way: a laser pointer! Why he thought a 13-year old needed a laser pointer is unclear, he probably just assumed I was going to play with the cat with it. And I did! But then I thought to myself, if I can get a cat to chase this, how will people react? I waited until dusk and then decided to find out. I lived in a townhouse, and there was a fair amount of foot traffic past our house. Most people seemed confused, and my favorite was when I got an old man to walk in circles chasing the little red dot. It was hilarious for me, and dusk soon turned to dark. My neighbor across the street, the wife of a police officer, came home, her arms full of groceries. I pointed my laser on the door at about eye level. She stared at it for a while, then quickly went inside. Not much later, her husband, the cop shows up at the door, and he is *pissed*. What I thought was a funny prank was interpreted as the laser sight of a gun. She had spent the time from my prank to the arrival of her husband terrified and hiding in her house, certain she was about to be murdered because of her husband's profession, and he had to leave work to make sure she wasn't. I got a lecture from him and had to promise not to do that any more, but essentially got off scot-free. My parents didn't take away my laser.
TL;DR: | Middle school me playing with a laser pointer accidentally made a cop's wife think her murder was imminent and made her husband rush home to save her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By going to work on time
POST: So I work as a low level manager at a pharmacy chain and I go to work regularly on Saturdays from 2-10. Usually I come in late because I am friends with the manager that works the morning shift and they don't mind that I am a bit late now and again. Today I decided that I was going to be on time and left 30 mins early drove through chick fil a and got to work about 5 minutes early. I soon find out that the store is in chaos mode, way more customers then usual, the cashier hasn't gotten her 30 minute break, and there is no one in the pharmacy so the other cashier has to work the pharmacy registers. After giving the cashier their break and enduring the horde of angry customers the chaos dies down only to get a phone call from my mother. For background I live in a suburban neighborhood were nothing has ever happened in 21 years of living there. Apparently the crazy guy that lives across from me decided that today was the day he was going to hold his wife hostage via gunpoint. So my entire street is blocked off and a real life episode of Law and Order is occurring on my front lawn (house of crazy guy is directly across from mine) and I get to sit here asking people if they got their flu shot or not.
TL;DR: | Went to work early store is in chaos and if I hadn't gone would have witness hostage situation in my front lawn. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: In honour of reaching the 10lbs lost mark, I made a flowchart with my very own super-advanced patented (not really) strategy for not eating.
POST: [DrDerpberg's super-awesome Procrastineating Strategy^TM !](
This flowchart is somewhere between my typical daily eating strategy (namely, delaying the bulk of my eating for as long as possible so that I can stuff my face without going over my limit) and an "emergency" decision tree when you are having trouble getting your cravings under control (i.e.: it's the middle of the afternoon and you want to eat, but you already had lunch, supper's in 2 hours, and you still want space for that bed time snack). I find that what works best for me is to **delay** eating as much as possible, give into cravings with food I should be eating anyway, and to eat filler foods or low-calorie foods instead of crap if I really can't resist eating but there isn't much space left in my intake budget.
Anyway, let me know what you think. I won't claim this is the end-all diet strategy (despite the catchy title which I know is worth millions, so don't try to lowball me if you try to buy it off me >:-[ ), but this works for me and if it helps people get started that would be awesome. I didn't succeed in losing any weight until I started to work with my own habits rather than against them.
TL;DR: | Hungry? Try doing stuff -> drink stuff -> eat good stuff -> lift stuff (exercise) -> eat bad stuff in extremely limited quantities and only within your budget. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] and my (now ex) girlfriend [19 F] live in different cities for summer, found out she's been lying
POST: So, I had a girlfriend for 6 months at university, but we live in different cities over the summer. We agreed it'd be best if we broke up over the summer, since it's 4 months apart, but decided to stay friends. We broke up at the start of May.
After we break up, we transition into being friends nicely. About a month after the breakup (this morning), she tells me a guy at her job, has been flirting with her. I give her some advice about how to deal with it. Just as the conversation is coming to an end, she tells me, "oh, also, I had sex with him last week."
So of course I'm taken aback, since that's not really something that's ever okay, and I didn't even ask to hear about it.
The worst part is, that very weekend she was upset at me for "seeming as if I moved on", which made me feel like total shit. When realistically, she was already fucking some other guy.
We were always very open with each other, but at this point I'm starting to feel like she's just trying to make sure I don't see other people, while she goes around hooking up with strangers.
My question is, what do I do in this situation? I thought we were good friends, but now it just makes me question everything. I'm more upset with that she lied to make me feel bad when she was banging another guy, and having never been in this position before, I don't know what to do.
Finally, I'm a group leader with her for something in September when school starts up again, and I don't know how I'm going to be able to face her. Please help!
TL;DR: | broke up with girlfriend, she got pissed at me for seeming like I moved on, turns out she was fucking some guy all along. Help with how to deal with this. |
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