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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How does one exact their revenge?
POST: My friend's phone was stolen and a new phone number appeared in his Lookout app. When it first happened the phone number didn't work and he couldn't trace it without paying money on a reverse phone search. Lookout still can't locate the phone physically. I think the phone is gone for good, but may have the person's phone number. It's been 2 years and the phone number works again. No one answers and it goes to a vm saying you reached that number and not a person's name. What are some good ways to prank someone using just their phone number?
TL;DR: | If you have a deserving person's phone number, what is the worst/best way to exact revenge?! What are some good pranks reddit has heard of? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex-Girlfriend is lying and telling her friends that I was physically and emotionally abusive.
POST: Alright so 2 years ago, I cut it off with my then girlfriend of 3 years. Things were very rocky near the end and we were finding ourselves getting in more fights and the whole things didn't end up the best that it could have. No punches or anything remotely near that were thrown and everything was mainly done over the phone because we became to despise even looking at the other.
Alright.
So 2 years pass and I'm thinking nothing of it. I start talking to my friend, whose sister is friends with my ex, and he tells me that my ex girlfriend has been telling his sister and her other friends that I was physically and emotionally abusive. I'm like wtf? and originally I don't really care because my true friends know who I am and near the end, my ex girlfriends was showing that she was pretty manipulative with me and her friends so I just thought that she was continuing with her old ways. Then a couple months, I drive by a kid who I don't recognize, after I look back at him, he is flicking me off. I realize that he is my ex's now boyfriend. I still don't understand why he is flicking me off after I have done nothing to him, never had said a word to him, and never had anything to do with his girlfriend for over 2 years. I am now suspecting that she is spreading and lying to everyone that I am physically and emotionally abusive.
What do I do?
TL;DR: | Ex girlfriend is telling her friends and maybe her boyfriend, that I physically abused her while dating 2 years ago. These are obvious lies. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22f] am applying to grad schools and I'm afraid that my only option may be to attend a grad school 7 hours away from my boyfriend [24m].
POST: I won't find out if I've been accepted anywhere until this spring, but I'm afraid that the only school that will accept me/give me the best offer financially will be the one that is 7 hours away from my boyfriend. We've only been dating for 4 months but we're pretty serious. We've talked about moving in together after I graduate and we've even talked about marriage (not any time soon, but the idea of it and what we want). I've told him I don't want a 4-6 year long distance relationship and he's said he doesn't want to move.
Part of me feels like what's the point of this relationship if it's just going to end but then the other half of me says there's no way of knowing what will happen so don't try to plan for anything.
I guess I'm seeking advice/opinions on choosing careers over relationships or vice versa. Has anyone ever made that call? If so, do you regret the decision you made?
TL;DR: | Might have to attend grad school 7 hours away from current boyfriend. I don't want a 4-6 long distance relationship. Not sure what to do or think. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Talk some sense into me. I'm [24F] "falling in love" with my best friend & ex [25M]. Broke up 3 years ago, still "date".
POST: We were best friends for 2 years, then our monogamous relationship lasted 4 years. He cheated (one time betrayal) and confessed weeks later before dumping me.
We've never broken contact for more than a month, occasionally have sex and/or go on romantic dates, and spend the holidays together. He sleeps around (even had a short-term lover), while I haven't had much luck with that (sleeping around with people I don't know makes me uncomfortable and any other potential friend-lovers fell through quickly).
My situation in life is such that I can't afford to lose contact with the handful of people I can rely on, including him. This guy makes a disappointing long-term boyfriend, but a great friend.
So, for the last 2 months or so, I've been feeling something I can't deny. It's akin to falling in love, though I could be horribly confused. What ever the reality is, I need you strangers to talk some sense into me.
A real romantic relationship with this guy cannot be. It'd be a disaster. My head knows this through logic and experience. But everytime I tell myself that I only love him as a friend or that our privately sexual or romantic encounters are just momentary fillers... well, I feel like I'm lying to myself.
TL;DR: | Best friend --> boyfriend --> ex --> best friend and occasional lover. It's been years. My heart now wants to officially be with him again, but my head still knows that's fucking stupid. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making a 30-year-old woman cry
POST: Okay, so this happened when I worked for Microsoft. I got a job at MS a couple years back, and this incident happened just last week.
So I'm on the phone with this lady, let's call her Cathy. She calls tech support, and I get put on line to help her. She apparently can't turn on her computer, so I told her the power button was on the top-left corner of the PC. She told me again it wasn't working, so I told her that she needed to press it. She got mad at me for thinking she was dumb enough *not* to press the button, not that the computer wasn't working. So, I called in a friend/colleague (let's call him Albert) and we both got on the call. This is where I fucked up. I told him the story so far, but forgot to turn off my microphone. So when I told Albert the story, I may have exaggerated a bit. And then Albert called Cathy a bitch, which she apparently heard because after an inhuman squeal escaped the receiver, I figured that I forgot to press the mute button. And then she started bawling, saying that I would go to hell for calling her a bitch, even though I tried to explain that it was Albert. So, Albert now got me in trouble with my boss (let's call him Travis) after Cathy filed a complaint, and Travis now has me doing overtime to fix that mistake.
TL;DR: | Got a tech support call from Cathy, forgot to mute the microphone, colleague dissed Cathy, I got in trouble. FML. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Can I contact my first love? F20 M20
POST: My first boyfriend in high school was my first and only love we had something really special. We ended it because we were young I wanted to explore new things.
He is now in a four year relationship and I have not seen him since graduation we are now two years into college. I have waited for him and his girlfriend to break up to ask to see him but it's been so long.
Is it inappropriate for me to contact him and ask to meet up as friends just once to catch up? I would love to see him but I'm not looking to get into a relationship I am not ready for one right now and we now live far apart.
TL;DR: | my first love is now in a four year relationship. Is it inappropriate for me to contact him as friends to just catch up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have a squirrel stuck in my air vent of my office as I type this. How can I safely remove him without killing him / getting bit?
POST: Backstory: We have some workers on the roof repairing the air conditioner. Apparently squirrels had been eating away at the air condition wires, and made a nest in the housing of the air unit on the roof. When the workers removed the housing, the squirrels ran through an open door on the roof into the office area.
Yesterday: I was sitting in my office with about 1 hour of work left, and a co-working runs into my office saying "I just saw a squirrel go into your office". The guy is known to be a prankster, so I brushed it off. Then the maintenance guy comes down and starts asking if anyone saw two squirrels run down the hall. I tell him my co-worker saw one go in my office, and he gets all Bill Murray in Caddy Shack about it and blows up the situation.
I had to get everything out of my office that I needed so he could confront the squirrel with a golf club. About 15 minutes of screaming and crashing in my office resulted in him scarring the squirrel into a corner of my air vents, where is remains stuck after almost 24 hours.
My boss wants to shoot it with the fire extinguisher to flash freeze him and pull him out, but I was wondering if there was a more humane way to go about this. REDDIT HELP!
TL;DR: | A squirrel ran into my office and hid in the vents after our maintenance guy tried killing it with a golf club. Now I need a safe way to get him our or my boss is going to kill him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: This Christmas Eve, my SO told me that she is pregnant, does not believe in abortion, but will get one if I really want. What do I say to her?
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together only for a few months, but have dated off and on for a few years. We just recently got very serious, and things have and are going very well. We're on an I love you basis, but live 100 miles apart.
Recently she changed her birth control pills, and today I was told that she had a positive result on her pregnancy test (though it was a faint second line).
We're both very scared mostly because our relationship is so new, our families are slightly conservative and we're afraid of their reaction to having a baby out of wedlock.
I am 25, currently a full time software engineer, and graduated from college. She is 23, and currently in grad school.
I'd love for her to get the big A since it isn't the ideal time for either of us to have a child. I'm afraid if we have a child now, both her family and mine will be overly judgmental, and that she'll resent me in the future for delaying her graduate degree and career.
How do I best talk to her about getting an abortion, without sounding like i'm trying to escape responsibility? If she absolutely wants to keep the baby I will man up and do everything I can to be a good father, but it isn't ideal. Reddit, what do?
TL;DR: | Short term gf is pregnant, but doesn't want an abortion. I want one. How do I talk to her about this without sounding like a jerk? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [18/m] am in love with this girl (18/f), but she has a boyfriend.
POST: I know some of you don't believe it's real or whatnot, but I can say that without a doubt, I have never cared so much for any human being like I care for this girl.
So here's the story:
Last year I met this girl in class and immediately had an infatuation with her. We became friends, but strictly platonic. I wanted to ask her out, but she just didn't see me as a boyfriend, more of a brother. So, come the fall dance, she was asked, and said yes. She's been with this guy for over a year now (junior into senior year) and the dance has come again. We lost touch a bit during the summer, but I have started talking to her more and more, now that we have a class together. She's still with the same boyfriend and she's going to the dance with him, and I just can't stand to see her with him. Literally whenever I even think about her I get the feeling that is easiest described as love. I no longer have an infatuation with her but now it has evolved into a very strong love. I use the term, love, very sparingly, because I try to be as detached from society as much as possible (I really hate where I live). I can't say I love anyone in my family, except for my grandfather, who is an amazing man. I just wanted to say that to explain that I do not say that I "love" very often at all. So back to this girl: I want her to be happy, but I want her to be happy while being with me. I am guessing she knows I like her, but I doubt she knows to such an extent. I don't want to be "that guy" to come in between her and her boyfriend but I really see no other option at this point. High school will be over soon and I will probably never see her again. I want to spend at least some of my life with this girl, but I have no idea what to do. Please help me reddit!
AMA.
TL;DR: | I love this girl but she has a boyfriend. I want to be with her but I don't want to be "that guy" to break them up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: 3 weeks in, and it seems like I'm plateauing...need help.
POST: Hey r/loseit. First off, I love reading the posts here and this sub reddit is just awesome. Anyways to my problem...
I started my quest to lose weight around 3 and a half weeks ago. I was 240 pounds, and now I'm 215 (lost 25 pounds). I'm 5 feet, 10 inches and 22 years old. My goal is to lose another 30-35 pounds, to get to 180-185 (and around 15% body fat).
I changed my diet completely. Went from eating out a lot, to eating a lot of greens, protein, grilled chicken, tuna, etc. I kind of know what foods are good for me now. I also dropped all soda and juice and only drink water, green tea, and coffee now. I also joined a gym and since I started, have been going about 5 times a week. I have been told that to lose weight, cardio is what I should focus on. When I'm at the gym, I do 45-60 minutes of cardio. I will use the bike or the elliptical (mostly elliptical).
So 5 days ago, I weight myself at 215. Today, I am 216 (actually gained a pound). It was a really bad feeling when I saw that. I'm not sure why it looks like I'm not changing anymore. The first few weeks I was losing weight quickly and it seemed like everyday I was down a pound or two. Now for the last week almost, I haven't lost anything and it has been discouraging.
I am not going to stop, of course. But I want to know what I'm doing wrong. Should I continue doing the 45-60 minutes of cardio every time at the gym, or should I change my workout? Is there anything in my diet I should change?
A friend of mine said that after a while your body gets used to what you are doing. It expects you to do that hour of cardio and eat these healthy foods. He said you need to "shock" the body and change things. This didn't make much sense to me, but I'd like to hear what this more well informed community has to say. Thanks, and appreciate all kinds of help!
TL;DR: | Started 3.5 weeks ago and went from 240-215. Have been at 215 for the last 5 days and haven't changed anything in my plan. Help needed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I'm unhappy. He's unhappy. Now what?
POST: My husband and I have been married almost a year.
He has changed. He seems more reserved and depressed now. I told him that I was worried about him, and asked what I could do to make him happier. He said nothing was wrong.
He hasn't been wanting to have sex/foreplay/anything. I told him that I missed it, and I tried changing it up to get him more interested. Little to no improvement.
I finally told him yesterday that I was lonely, I missed him, and that I have needs that he is not fufiling.
I am a high school teacher. I have really hot 18 year olds try to get with me regularly. I am not a complete idiot, so I know to shoot them down nicely, but I did tell my husband that it sickens me that I love the attention. I should be getting enough attention at home so that I dont crave other men's attention.
Speaking of which, this has been going on for about two months. I met a guy yesterday that I had been talking to online. I know, terrible. I just wanted to be touched again. I wanted someone to flirt with me, to talk to me. Well, we met up, made out, mutual masturbation, but no penetration. Is it cheating? I know I am emotionally... but physically?
Anyway. I don't want to throw away my marriage. I just want him to want me. I want sex, flirting, dating, fun. All with him would be great. I have tried to take us out, make date nights, even do things he enjoys but I hate (with a buyable smile, mind you), but he still pouts too damn much.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | I miss my husband wanting me, what can I do to make him want me again? Is kissing/mm cheating? |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: Anybody with a good heart and basic photo-shop skills fancy helping me out with a quick backdrop?
POST: Hey guys,
so I've made some pretty good progress over the past few months; and a lot of it is down to you guys and the positive force for awesomeness that you all are. But now I want to step it up and have a decent resolution that i can readily picture in my head. So i decided to quickly write it out- all high and mighty- and then set it as a desktop photo.
Except, I forgot I'm using a Chromebook, and it's some really weird os and I don't know if it's even possible to create a custom wallpaper, and whether or not you can only get downloaded backdrops from the internet.
Bummer. Anyway, I was going to quickly ask if anyone new of a way over on r/chromebooks, but then I thought it might be cool if some fellow get-motivated redditor fancied just smacking into on a backdrop instead. Do what you like with it, put it over a generic piece of inspiration, just have it as a scrawl in the corner, have it as a taylor-swift/hitler quote template, whatever. Just something fun, if you're bored for a minute or two. And I swear I'll set it.
Here's the resolution: Warning, it's pretty gay, but It's all true.
"I, Jack, on the 1st January at 21:44, 2014, hereby resolve to:
Make the effort to let more new people become new friends, and make more of an effort to keep in touch with my friends of old.
To spend my time well, and use it helping myself turn into the perfect version of me; a version I know I can become.
To eat well, sleep often, workout regularly, write incessantly, and be consciously aware of those traits to admonish and those to accept; until those worth accepting become my unintentioned habits"
TL;DR: | It's cool if no-one picks up on this, it was kind of nice just to write it all out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my new friend/coworker [23F] 8 months, incredibly toxic towards everyone how to distance myself?
POST: So I recently moved to a new state with my boyfriend for his job. Got a job working for a vet clinic. Very small office only one doctor and 3 techs. I got along great with mostly everyone in the beginning. Especially Kay she's a few months older than me and she was really nice and fun to be around.
Fast forward to about 6 months in and all of a sudden she's constantly complaining about everything. She's rude to costumers and other coworkers. Her attitude is just atrocious in general.
Recently she's been dating a few guys and I'm talking serial dating. Guys after guy no breaks in between. She's always asking for advice, my other coworker who is slightly older than us, her and I get along great. We try to give her advice as I've been in my relationship for 4 years and the other girl has been married for 10 years. Kay snapped. Like full on yelling and screaming that she wouldn't listen to us because we're in a happy relationship... Uh hello?!?
It's getting to the point where nobody wants to be around her. Work isn't any better as you ask her to do anything and she rolls her eyes and huffs and complains that she shouldn't have to. Customer are even complaining about her.
She says she's going to be my maid of honor butnsjen shoots down ALL of my ideas, she won't wear the color I want because she doesn't think its flattering on her and she just shoots down everything I have to say. I don't want her in my wedding party anymore.
Please help, I want to distance myself from her without her blowing up anymore and making work a living hell.
TL;DR: | friend from work of 8months was super friendly in beginning and all of a sudden has become so negative and toxic, want to distance myself from her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Question] Can someone help me grasp the concept of ''I just don't feel that way about you'' without them giving a reason? (♂24+♂24)
POST: I was / am crushing on one of my best friends (we're both gay males) and after 8 months I finally had him tell me ''there will never be an us.'' The best metaphor he could give me was ''it's not that you are not good enough for me, it's just that some people prefer the taste of different foods. That does not mean that they are bad though.''
Though it may be really fucking stupid for me to think that if I could just get him to tell me what is unappealing about me (heh, I am pretty sure I know what it is) that I could work on changing it and maybe within a year if he is single, I am single, maybe we could be something. It's proving to be very hard for me to break this thought pattern. We have not talked in a few days and I still think about him every waking second.
Logically I understand it. He's not into me like I am into him but emotionally I just can't grasp / don't want to accept that I have 0% chance at anything other than a friendship with me. I'm trying to work through those feelings but as soon as I think about it I just break down and cry.
I was just wondering if someone could maybe take a different approach at explaining it so maybe it can click in my mind that we truly will never be anything other than best friends. :/
Thank you for your time. <3
TL;DR: | Help explain ''I just don't feel that way about you'' in a different way so I can emotionally grasp it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What material is this toy frog made out of? It's melted a hole in my TV!
POST: Hey, Reddit. I used to work in a crappy carnival-like place that had a game called "Frog Bog" where you take a hammer and catapult these frogs into moving lily pads. When they decided to get rid of the game, I took one for myself.
**PICS**:
When I first got it, i remember it being moist for at least a couple of months (it was a water game, and they were always drenched). I would keep it in a paper towel for days at a time until I decided to change it out.
After it dried out, I'd leave it on wood surfaces, it would just leave a frog shaped stain on there that's easy to clean off.
But for the past 10 months, I've left it on top of my TV and I've noticed some plastic buildup around the edges of the frog, like usual, but after trying harder than usual to remove it, I uncover this hole!
TL;DR: | Got a frog from a carnie game, placed it atop old TV for nearly a year, plastic of TV has melted and left a hole. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: i feel really bad for my mother
POST: I feel really bad for my mom lately. In the past year her mother(my grandmother who i love very much passed away) and three months later her uncle who we love too died. Those passings really affected her, she really misses them, as do i, she doesnt have many friends except for her cousins and coworkers, all she really does is go to work, and even when she has days off she works around the house. shes never really relaxed. she says all she really cares about is her kids which is kinda true. and now that we are getting older and spending less and less time with her (i dont know what she will do when we move out) im starting to feel really bad for her. she is never very sad shes always in an ok mood or happy, but idk why, her life seems pretty dull to me. What can i do (or get her) to give my mother a happy life?
TL;DR: | my mom has nothing much in her life( its dull and a little depressing) and i want to make her happy in life. what can i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How does one treat an infected nose piercing?
POST: And yes, I did Google it, but I wasn't able to find a definitive answer on treatment as much as prevention. I did notice they suggested antiseptic ointment, but I'm not sure what that is or if I'm allergic to it. Yes, I will be calling my mother to see if I am allergic to it or not in the morning. I've never had an infection I didn't know how to deal with before, but since I kind of have to keep this bit of metal in my nose (no way is it coming out, I paid too much and got too much crap from my parents about it) I don't know how that changes things.
So how should I treat this? It didn't get bad at all until today. Yes, there is drainage. Yes, it is swollen. Yes, it is tender. I've been cleaning it with the sea salt water like I was told after I got it pierced, but what else can I do to help it along? I'm allergic to ALL topical antibiotics (such as Neosporin and whatnot) so those are out of the question, though I'm not even sure they'd be what I need anyways.
Things that I've tried for other infections have been hot compresses and cleaning it with peroxide. Would you suggest either of those?
TL;DR: | I'm allergic to some medicines normally used to treat infections, but my nose is infected and I want to take care of it as best I can. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 male] am falling for a girl [27 f] I met last week who is "crazy". I know these girls are not good for me but I can't help falling for them!
POST: I'm typing this on my phone so please bare with any spelling issues.
So the typical reddit motto is "don't stick your dick in crazy" however I can't seem to help it. I hate to describe someone as crazy but she uses that term to to describe herself and has some pretty glaring red flags. For one she does drugs (coke) and I'm about a year sober (thus the username). She has low self esteem. I met her at last call at a bar for example! She cried for a little bit that night then latched onto me and has been texting me like crazy. Lots of photos too. When I say "falling for" I am ushually kind of emotionally distant about sex. I am actually feeling feelings for this girl and it's scaring me.
I grew up in an abusive household and I wonder if this is just what feels comfortable for me? The chaos. I just feel like I have to fake being "normal" when I date girls who have their shit more together. I've been on the dating scene for like six months after a long relationship and haven't met anyone special. This girl has been on my mind a lot and she is also sending me a lot of texts that make it sound like she is equally interested. Oh and she has a kid as well, which is something that is kinda crazy for me. I've been really careful to avoid having children until I get a better job and find the right person so it's a little scary. What the hell do I do? Dump her even though I want her? Is this how girls who go for the "bad boy" feel? Ahhhh what's happening to me?!
TL;DR: | I'm sticking my Dick in crazy and actually like her. Can someone shake some sense into me or does the heart just want what it wants? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [17M] Been together with my girlfriend (17F) for over a year. Yesterday I made out with someone at a party that I had a thing with a couple of years back. Help!
POST: I'm a 17 year old male, and I've been in a serious relationship with my 17 year old girlfriend for almost 1.5 years.
Before me and her got together, I had a thing going on with a girl I had known for years. We had always been in love with each other, but we never managed to admit it to each other before our ways went different ways. I thought these feelings were gone, but yesterday things changed.
I went to a friends party, and I surprisingly met her there. We got drunk, and talked. We talked about how much we actually liked each other. She started talking about how she would have screamed and cried if I had died, and this all caught me by a surprise. We went down to a room to continue our talk, since we were disrupted when we talked upstairs with other people among us. We then made out, it wasn't for long, but I can't stop thinking about it - it didn't feel bad, and that's the part that's freaking me out.
We've been in a lot of contact today, and we're meeting up in one of the nearest days to sort things up, to get things straight. She's dating another guy too, so me and her really have to get an end to this. We have both told each other that the kiss didn't feel bad, but that it felt good, that we've been waiting for it for years.
I have still not told my girlfriend about this. I have no idea what to do. I'm still young and inexperienced when it comes to love, and I know that I messed up.
TL;DR: | I made out with another girl from my past, and I haven't told my girlfriend. It didn't feel all that bad. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24/F] boyfriend [23/M] regularly likes pictures of another girl on Instagram. Am I overreacting?
POST: My boyfriend and I haven't been dating for very long but we've known each other for about three years.
He's known "Emily" for about two years now. They used to work together and she recently went on a date with very close friend of his a few weeks ago.
My boyfriend doesn't spend a lot of time on social media, but he does have a Facebook and Instagram- Facebook he posts on once a month, Instagram he'll add a picture every week and a half/two weeks.
Emily is a very pretty girl, and many people like her posts. My issue is that my boyfriend usually likes one out of every three of the pictures that she posts- it can be anything really, but if it's a selfie of her, he *definitely* likes it...but he rarely likes any of my photos.
I've read through some previous "my boyfriend likes pictures of girls on Facebook," and none of them are really the same. He's not commenting on them and telling her things that are inappropriate, and Instagram only requires you to double tap a picture twice in order to like it, so there's not much effort involved. I just feel insecure because he never likes any of my pictures, and I feel a little disrespected due to the content and vast number of her pictures that he's liked.
My question is: am I overreacting? I know that if my boyfriend was interested in her that he would just pursue her, but instead he chose me. He's just not overly vocal about his feelings for me and the fact that he likes all of her pictures and none of mine just feeds my preexisting insecurity. I know I can't honestly bring this up because it's *Instagram* and would probably just be a pointless argument. What can I do?
TL;DR: | my boyfriend likes pictures of another girl on Instagram all the time, but never of me. It makes me uncomfortable, but he never comments on them or says anything inappropriate. Am I overreacting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Want to be together but want to find ourselves too [20F] and [20M]
POST: So me and my ex[20M] have been together for 5.5yrs. He's been thinking that in order to find out what he likes to do without me there makes him happy. We used to do everything together and he never complained once. This came out of no where. I asked if he still wanted to be with me and if he still cared about me, he said yes but he feels like he needs to do this for himself. I don't disagree with the fact that we should find out what else is out there in the world that makes us happy other than being together, but I don't see why we can't be together while figuring out who we are along the way. He says he feels like we have two roads to take: marriage or break up, I don't see that. I just want to be with someone who makes me extremely happy and feel loved while finding myself and him finding himself. After hearing him say that, we talked how we're both not ready for the marriage commitment but still love each other and want to continue this. But he doesn't think we can be together and find ourselves at the same time. What do you think?
TL;DR: | He wants to find what makes him happy outside of our 5.5yr relationship but still wants to be with me, just feels like he needs to leave for himself. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Mother [48F] wants to be in charge of all my [18M] expenses and bank accounts.
POST: So I just entered university. I'd really like to be independent but my mother is making it very hard for me to do that. She has always been pretty overprotective, and she wanted me to stay at home and commute to school. I finally managed to get her to realize that I would be moving into the dorms there.
Now, she wants full control over my bank account. I receive money monthly from my father and from work study jobs. She thinks since we are not well off, that we should be pooling our money together and that I should be getting small allowances of 100$ a month to spend at college.
I find this a little unfair and as an adult, would like independence and control over my own bank account. How can I explain this to her? When I tell her this she says that I will likely spend the money on video games and gambling and that I will be broke.
TL;DR: | My mom wants control over my bank account for the reason that I will be irresponsible about my spending; I want independence and freedom over my own account |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I can't stand my friend at times
POST: I know this guy. We're good friends and have been for the last two years through CCF (a form of cadets in the UK) and he's really funny. But he's also arrogant, constantly monopolises conversations or taking a joke too far. Worse, he met a girl at a party and has said to me (while drunk) that he hates her and while drunk two days ago he broke up with her because she hadn't sent him 'any pictures' which he'd assumed she would send. They weren't good for each other, but the next day he pinned the blame on other people at the party and made it out to her that he did like her etc, etc.
I can't stand how manipulative that is - he plays her like a fiddle and it gets on my nerves how bad they are for each other and how arrogant he is too.
TL;DR: | I really like my friend but he manipulates his gf, sometimes bullies others and is quite arrogant (though I think to feeling insecure at times). |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I'm in too deep with my best friend/fuck buddy PRACTICAL advice wanted please
POST: My two best friends from college (let's call them Jane and Oliver) were a couple and we continued our friendship post-college as we lived in the same city. I always knew Jane was a little manipulative and could get a little irrational, but two years ago she completely lost her shit and showed her true colors. She moved to a new city, broke up with Oliver after a long string of bad behaviors and ended our friendship when she perceived that I was spending too much time with Oliver (this is after she begged me to "take care of him" when she moved).
Oliver and I were pretty messed up from losing someone we both relied on so much in such a dramatic way. We quickly and predictably (read:foolishly) sought comfort in one another. In hindsight I would tell him what a bad idea hooking up would be, but the sex was so good initially and I was smitten. I mean, we were friends for that long for good reason.
Now it's two years later; we're still extremely close friends and occasional fuck buddies. I've been in love with him for a while, but I know that he doesn't return my feelings. I am reluctant to talk to him about it because I know it would change everything and I feel pathetically reliant on him and the intimacy I've found in our relationship, even if it's not everything I would want.
I also have the great misfortune of having to deal with the combination of being painfully self-conscious on top of having a high sex drive and a need for physical human interaction. Therefore, I don't want the occasional sex to end either as I don't have any other prospects (likely due to the fact that I am obsessing about him so often... do you see my problem here?).
I'd really appreciate some realistic advice! (cutting off ties with him would not be emotionally realistic for me right now)
TL;DR: | I am in (unrequited) love with my long time friend and fuck buddy of two years and don't know what do to. It hurts. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My gf[18f] of one month, is telling me [22m] about guys that try to get with her/text her
POST: I have been bf/gf with this girl for about a month and she has mentioned guys that try to text her/get with her on occasion. Usually I would just blow it off and tease her about it. She would usually just act like she didnt want them, but tonight really bothered me...
As a bit of background, I have made it absolutely clear that we must communicate and make sure we are on the same page. I am not down to play little mind games, but maybe i didnt make myself clear
She mentions of another guy she met briefly from before that is currently trying to get with her and how he commented on her instagram to text her. She said that they texted and that he called her gorgeous and all that stuff to try and get with her. When I did my routine tease about it and just kind of blow it off, she also did her routine "didn't want any part of him" response.
This is where this situation bothered me....After I was hanging out with her I went back to check her instagram for the comment, and the guys comment was deleted, but her comment was still there which said, "Haha ill text you:)"
I dont know why but this just really bothers me and I dont want to playing these dumb jealousy games with her. Should I just straight up call her out on it? Or am I overeacting to nothing?
We have known each other for about a month and a half and have been bf/gf for about a month.
TL;DR: | Girl keeps telling me about guys trying to get with her, i usually blow it off, but this one is bothering me even more now. what do i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] and my bf [25 M] of 3 1/2years are constantly fighting over his weed addicition ,am I overreacting? Please help!
POST: I'm not 100% if this is where to get help, I tried asking r/leaves, but not much luck. So here it goes:
I'm having an issue with my bf smoking weed; I would say he is addicted to it. Coming from a dad who had drug and alcohol problems, I usually can figure it out if someone has a problem.
Now I'm not against weed, I don't do it though, I tried it once and it just wasn't for me. And I don't have anything against him smoking it once and a while - if he's hanging out with friends or just super bored. *he works the night shift, so often he'll be up all night with no one to hang out with/talk to*
I have an issue with it when he does it when I'm around or we're going out. He's said he needs it so he doesn't get stressed or get anxious; so it's hurtful that he would need to when we're hanging out. To me it's saying "hanging out with you is stressful, so I need to be high for this". *he claims it's not like that, but it looks a lot like that*
This is really the main thing we fight about, we've been having this fight for years at this point - he'll try to quit for me, but it doesn't work because he doesn't want to quit really. * Everything else in our relationship is pretty great though - aside from this issue. *
I don't know what to do, lately I've thought about leaving him because this is so stressful and hurtful, he can't seem to understand why I'm so hurt because he's "not doing anything to me". It's gotten the the point where I'm afraid to bring it up because he'll get defensive and we'll end up fighting with no results.
Am I being a prude? Or does he actually have a problem?
I'm at my wits end, I have no idea how to face this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Bf is addicted to weed, he says it's not my problem and doesn't understand how its hurtful to me. How should I face this issue? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Half-sister lost her daughter after giving birth to her. Need advice.
POST: So my older half-sister had recently lost her daughter , right after giving birth. We live quite far apart and I don't get to see her often, I had given her a call the day after it happened and comforted her with supportive words. Her voice sounded cracked on the phone. I'm gonna go and visit her this Sunday and I'd really like some advice on what I can do to somewhat maybe ease a bit of the pain.
Besides comforting her and providing moral support, should I make a gesture like buying flowers or something to that effect? Really confused and really not sure how to handle this situation. Worried, I might make the wrong move and make things worse, would really appreciate some help on this.
TL;DR: | Half sister lost her daughter right after birth, visiting her this Sunday, need advice on what I can do to maybe lift an inch off the pain. Unsure on how to handle this situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: i [19M] and i have problems when i try to meet people by my own
POST: Hi, im a 19 years boy who has problems making new relationships .
I didnt really make a lot of new relationships since high school and i bearly talk with my old mates, i always had a lot of problems making new friends since i was a child.
the last year i spent most of my time in the computer and feeling bad about myselve without doing something productive, after i finished high school i didnt really know what to do, it was an awful situation for me and practically i lost most of my poor social skills.
fortunately i manage to catch up this year, now i do more activities, i talk more to my relatives and im way more active plus im going to start college soon, so i think im doing fine.
but i feel like my social skills in terms of meeting new people are weak, when i want to get new friends i get nervous and sometimes anxious thinking that im not going to give a good impresion or im not going to keep up in the conversation, it seems weird but its really hard for me to not think in that.
TL;DR: | i spent 1 year doing nothing productive while feeling bad about myselve, i manage to catchup in this year and i want to make new relationships but i have issues with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [early 20's] made an anonymous report about drug use/selling at my old job, and now I feel afraid for my security.
POST: This account is a throwaway for obvious reasons. I'm very, very afraid right now and I would appreciate some advice.
I asked to be fired this week because of the awful work environment. It's a restaurant.
Then after seeing lots and lots of situations of drug use/selling inside the building, and everybody knows that this is strictly forbidden, I decided to report it anonymously to the police, and now I feel very afraid of anyone suspects that I made it.
The problem is: I just called emergency and the policeman wasn't very polite. I kept saying that it was anonymous and that I didn't want any details of myself included. And I didn't give him any. But the number is always recorded when you call, and my voice is easy to recognize and if they manage to get the recording I'm totally screwed.
They have my address because of the admission paperwork, and I confirmed my address when I went to ask to be fired this week.
Even though, everybody knows my car type and it's brand new, and I feel very afraid they could be pissed about the report, suspect that it's me, and could wait for me to show on the area and then put me down.
Just adding as reference: I don't do drugs. Never did.
I'm just very afraid and have no one to talk about it.
Did I do wrong?
Any advice on this situation?
Thank you very much.
TL;DR: | Made an anonymous report about drug selling/use at my old job, they have my address and I'm afraid they could suspect it's me and put me down. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Affordable shoes?
POST: I realize there is a strong correlation between the price of running shoes and the quality of the product. However, I'm a broke recent college grad scraping by on a minimum wage job, and my budget doesn't allow for Asics, Brooks, or Hokas more than once a year. I bought a pair of Brooks Ghost 7's in late February/early March, but they have been hurting my feet recently. They are my running, work, and everyday shoes, and I know it's frowned upon to use your running shoes for things other than running, but I don't have much of a choice right now. I've been doing between 9 and 15 miles a week since January after three years of not running because of college, and I've found that I underpronate/supinate a little bit. The only shoes I've tried on that feel good for my gait are the Asics Gel Nimbus, Brooks Glycerin, and Hoka Odyssey. Granted, I haven't tried on many running shoes living in small-town Mississippi with limited sporting goods stores with specialty running shoes around and even fewer specialty running shoe stores. Bottom line, can anyone suggest a website to get deals on "last year's model" or perhaps quality, lower priced alternatives?
TL;DR: | Broke recent college grad in rural Mississippi needs shoes for minor underpronation; where can I get cheaper alternative quality running shoes or perhaps find deals on "last year's model?" |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I get my [21f] friends to accept my relationship [15m]?
POST: So, I [21f] met my boyfriend [15m] on social networking site over a year ago. He's the guy of my dreams and we're very much in love.
However, my friends are very rude whenever the topic comes up - they condescend the age gap, the way we met, and the fact that we've never been able to see each other in person. The one that keeps coming up is them mentioning "babysitting" whenever we Skype call with each other. Then, when we're talking, they'll wander into my room and basically harass and distract me. I feel like they rub in the fact that they all have boyfriends who live near them because they talk about them all the time.
My mother and his mother both accept the relationship - why can't my friends? I've tried to tell them that he's very mature for his age - he gives great advice, and, for a 15-year-old boy, he's very curious about sex and isn't uncomfortable talking about it. We're both virgins, and that isn't a problem for either of us.
I don't understand why my friends are so opposed to this. It's not like he's tying me down. We've agreed that, because of the distance between us (I'm from New York and he's from Illinois), it's okay for us to date outside of our relationship. (We haven't, but the agreement nullifies their argument that this relationship is preventing me from having a "real college experience."
I've brought their behavior up to them before, but they just kind of laugh it off and continue what they're doing.
He's the love of my life, but they don't seem to understand that, and it's really getting to me AND him. He's getting frustrated just hearing about it , and I'm sure it's hurtful to him too, even though I've refrained from telling him some of their more scathing comments, especially regarding age.
Is there ANYTHING I can say to them to at least get them to treat my relationship with respect?
TL;DR: | My friends are very rude and disrespectful towards my online relationship [21f, 15m] and I don't know how to convince them to at least treat me (and him) with respect |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I'm going to be staying at my girlfriend's parent's house over night for the first time. Any advice?
POST: My girlfriend and I are in a LDR. We're both 25 and like many people our age who have piles of student loans, we both live with our parents.
I've visited twice before, for a total of 8 days. I'm planning a visit for new years day and the following weekend.
Each of my last two visits, I've stayed at nearby hotels, which in this city, even using hotwire/priceline cost me a total of $750. Before my last visit, my gf's mom offered to let me stay with them, but I wasn't really ready for that nor could I get out of my hotel bill.
Anyway, her mom invited me to stay with them this time around. I'll be in the basement, with the dog and the cats who rock, while my GF sleeps in her room on the second floor.
Here's the thing, I'm worried they're all (my gf, gf's mom and dad) concerned about sex. However, we're not really ready for that. I'm her first boyfriend, we've been dating less than a year, we've only spent a total of 8 days together in person and I frankly would like to kiss her well ahead of any sexual activity occurs. (Yes, we haven't kissed.)
Is there anything I should/shouldn't do to dispel the thoughts? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Any protips or advice would be great.
TL;DR: | I'm staying at my GF's parents house for a week, in a separate room and I'm nervous they're worried about sex stuff happening, when it won't. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Injured on a plane. Insurance is seeking subrogation. Do I have a claim?
POST: First, a bit of backstory:
A few months ago I boarded a plane (in Maryland) for the first time. Because of the narrow leg space, my foot got caught on my way to my seat and I heard a crunch in my knee followed by severe pain. During the flight, the attendants were busy with a lady who had a seizure. As I was getting off of the plane in Illinois, the same thing happened. The crunch, the pain, but I could walk so I hoped it was nothing. The attendants hurried everyone off, after helping paramedics get the lady out, and I was on my way.
The next day my knee was very swollen, I couldn't straighten it and walking and standing was difficult. I decided to go to the ER. I told them how it happened and they took an x-ray. They couldn't tell me much other than it might be just a simple strain or it could be something more but I'd have to have an MRI when I got home.
Long story short, MRI confirms that I have a torn meniscus.
Just recently, I got a letter in the mail because my insurance company has turned the original claim over to The Phia Group. They want to determine who is liable for paying the bill.
I didn't realize this was a potential issue against the airline, but I believe this company is opening an investigation for subrogation. Is that something I should look into or is my insurance company just checking all of its bases?
What does subrogation mean for me? Should I contact a lawyer? I'm only asking because this will require surgery at some point and I need my insurance to cover it.
TL;DR: | Tore my meniscus on a plane, my insurance company is seeking subrogation/reimbursement. Do I get a lawyer or let them handle it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: For those of us going to college...
POST: I am a senior in high school, who has had several serious relationships in the past. A little under a month ago, i started dating a guy that I really liked, and things are going amazingly well already. We have great communication, and I am happier when I am with him than I ever have been before. It may seem like this is premature considering it has not been a long relationship, but this is already turning out to be incredibly serious, and I am beginning to worry about what will happen when i move thousands of miles away (literally 1783 miles) to go to college in September. I know this is something that almost everyone goes through, but I don't know how to deal with this overhanging deadline in a relationship that I am so happy with.
TL;DR: | How do you deal with the fact that your relationships are inevitably going to end because you are about to go to college? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the best confession that you have given or heard that was not really necessary?
POST: A few years ago, my mother called me up and said that she had just found a two page confession from my brother about how for the previous two nights he was waiting for her to fall asleep and then taking her SUV to pick up friends and head to the beach. My brother was not known for his high regards of rules (and he did not have his license at the time either), so the act of him doing something like this did not actually come as a shock to anyone.
What actually did surprise any of us was, that for no apparent reason, he actually confessed to it. Since no one actually believed that he had a change of heart at the time, my mother had asked me to try to figure out why he felt he needed to confess to something he had not actually been caught doing.
The obvious first question I asked was if there was anything wrong with the car. Other then it was a little bit dirtier, which she wouldn't have noticed anyways, there was nothing wrong. Of course we started thinking about drugs, or maybe he got some girl pregnant, or run in with cops, but we figured any of that would have been in the confession to go a long with the beach story.
I figured it out once I got in my own car, when remembered that cars have the anti-theft device where the steering wheel will lock and to unlock it you have to turn the wheel to turn the key in the ignition. When I brought this up to my brother, he admitted that when he was getting out of the SUV, he heard a click, and when he tried to turn the car back on, the key wouldn't turn, thus he thought he had broken the car's ignition.
I felt kind of bad for the guy when I told him all he had to do was turn the steering wheel to turn the key, but then I remembered he didn't invite me to the beach.
TL;DR: | brother "borrowed" mom's car without a license to go to beach late at night, thought he broke the ignition because he didnt know you had to turn steering wheel to turn key. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Insurance Settlement - ICBC
POST: Case: I am located in Vancouver, BC, Canada. I was recently involved in a motorcycle accident, I am not at fault. Bike was a write-off. I was injured, missed only a couple of days of work, but required 3 months of physio to heal injured foot. I am mostly healed and back to normal life, physically. Motorcycling was my main hobby and I am experiencing difficulty in enjoying it now.
Situation: ICBC has offered me 5k (in addition to bike value, gear replacement, wages, physio) for a settlement. I stated to them I feel this is not adequate. They have asked for a counter-offer or if I would like to wait an additional month to see what happens to the offer. I am hesitant to seek a lawyer due to past experience and do not wish this to be dragged out for years.
What is my next action?
I have never made a post on Reddit. I apologize for any poor formatting.
TL;DR: | – Motorcycle Accident. ICBC offered 5k. Asking for counter-offer. Lawyers are scary. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [34/F] Living with (36/M) Ready for a change, but don't know where to begin.
POST: Let's start by saying I've had a tumultuous past 2 years. I was married to a bi-polar, abusive alcoholic and drug addict (with whom I have an adorable child that I have full custody of); I lost my job and am still unemployed; and was raped by a former coworker.
In February of this year, I moved several thousand miles away with a really great, loving, family man (36/M). Non-addict, with a sense of humor and similar likes. Since then, I've worked on myself. Letting go of the past, saying positive affirmations every day, thinking positively. Took a Hatha Yoga class, also tried boxing. Trying to figure out who I am again after 7 difficult years of marriage and issues with my former career.
I'm ready for a change, again, now that I've rediscovered myself. I'm ready to start anew with just me, myself, and I. And of course my child. I feel like an idiot wanting to leave this great guy behind. He really is amazing. I just don't want to be in a relationship anymore. I don't want to clean up after him, wash his clothes or dishes, hang out with his friends. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to share a bed with him. I feel like such an idiot about it. I just want to be alone. With my kid.
One of my best friends from high school came to visit recently. I moved away from my hometown in 2001 and no one in my immediate family lives there anymore. I haven't made any friends since moving here 9 months ago and I really miss my hometown for the sense of community it has to offer; my high school friends have kids the same age as mine. I feel like I don't fit here and want to move back home.
So here's the advice I need: How do I tell my super awesome boyfriend that I want to move away without him? How do I tell him that I didn't use him? Is there an easy way to break things off with him and avoid breaking his heart?
TL;DR: | Ready to move forward in life without BF; unhappy, don't know how to tell awesome boyfriend I'm ready to live alone a thousand miles away. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Advice on a Trip to Greece?
POST: Hi Reddit! This summer mark's my mother's 50th birthday and her and my father's 20th year anniversary- and to celebrate my family was going to go to the one place she always wanted to go, Greece (Athens, Santorini and Crete.) However, with all the economic/social turmoil lately, we are starting to worry (we will be there in late June/ early July right after the next set of elections.) Is this worry valid? Is there a chance that we could be stuck there in the midst of a currency change? Will there be continued rioting/ political turmoil (i.e the continued election of ultra nationalists like the Golden Dawn?) Because of the "Grexit" will there be shortages of fuel/other supplies? Thanks in advance Reddit- my family is counting on you!!
TL;DR: | Family has a trip to Greece, will we be there during a major economic/social collapse and should we reschedule our trip? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my gf [23 f] 5 years, broke up with me but wants to stay fwb.
POST: after 5 years being in a relationship, she broke up with me 4 days ago to find herself and see if she can love me the way i love her. but 2 days after she already got together with someone else who straight away headed to her after he found out that she broke up with me to console her. if that was not enough she still wants to be fwb with me and would like to visit me in 2 weeks. i just don't know how to handle/cope here, she broke my heart, i loved her i thought i found the one for me and then this. i would love to stay in contact with her but i doubt i could ever just see her as a friend and not want more from her which if ended in rejection would tear my heart up all over.
please i need advice, i just do not know if should break all ties with her. or if what she is doing is a rebound which wont wont last long and i still have chance of getting her back if/when she visits.
TL;DR: | former gf wants to stay fwb even though she already has a new bf just days after she left me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] of three years, he has invited the girl he was into when he met me to visit us next month.
POST: When my BF met me (3 years ago) he still liked another girl, his older sister's best friend Emily (now 24). Emily had just moved to Tennessee (we live on the East Coast) and BF and her were emailing a lot. I know that Emily liked him too. I don't know if it was love but I know he wanted to be with her.
Well, Emily wasn't there, he met me and fell in love with me and last year we officially moved into an apartment together.
I know it's silly but I've ALWAYS been jealous of Emily and sometimes I think that the only reason my BF and I got together was because she was in Tennessee at the time and he couldn't have her. I've talked to him about this and he denies it and says I'm being silly and that he loves me, but I can't help feeling jealous of her.
My BF is still friends with Emily and because she'll be in the area next month, he invited her to come visit us for a couple days. Boyfriend is having a big party next month (celebrating something work-related) and he's happy she'll be here for it.
On the one hand I'm a little peeved because he did that knowing how I feel about her but on the other hand I know I'm probably being silly and I know they're good friends.
I just get sooo jealous just thinking about her coming and I really don't want to hang out with her, which I'm going to have to do. The girl's never done anything to me and I dislike her for no reason and I feel bad about that but I don't want to spend a bunch of days with her. :/
I guess I need you guys to tell me I'm being stupid and to suck it up?
TL;DR: | BF invited the girl he was still into when he met me, to visit. I dislike her for no other reason than my own jealousy and I don't want to spend time with her but kind of have to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Help me [28M] make a life decision on what to do with my [24F] of 3 years.
POST: Bit about me, I've had 3 serious relationships so far and only ever had sex with these 3 women, I have never 'played the field' so to speak and fear soon I will be too old to do so.
I've been with my 24F GF for 3 years now and she is now starting to want more in terms of marriage and what not, we have lived together for 2 of those 3 years now and it has been great. I still however always have the desire to fuck around but never have done so.
I have just been promoted in my current job and I will be travelling a lot and have a lot of money, also my old uni friends who are successful have decided to move into a massive dream house together and said I am always welcome to move in with them (they are all single and party a lot).
Now it seems is the perfect opportunity for me to live a little but it will crush my gf as we have been happy for a long time. To go from her wanting to marry me to me telling her i am leaving her will kill her. She looks after me very well, we do argue but just like any other couple. I do feel less attracted to her recently as these thoughts cloud my mind and I would be fine letting her go, but will I regret it later?
The thing is, if I was older and done all this already, I could honestly see myself marrying this girl, this is why this decision is the hardest one in my life so far.
What the hell do I do? Am I just having a mid life crisis? Should I stick it out and continue with my GF and just try to ignore the urges to want other women and all the fun I could be having?
TL;DR: | Never had a "single life" and feel I will soon be too old to do so, now perfect chance to do so but in a relationship with a girl who loves me a lot and wants to marry. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26F] have been dating a guy [34F] for a few months, he says he's not ready
POST: I have been dating this guy for two months. He is the one who "pursued" me first, asked me out and made it very clear that he's attracted to me. He was the one who mentioned the possibility of us being serious (asking me what I look for in a relationship, deal breakers, etc, etc.) and even hinted that he wanted to move in with me.
As for me, I was very cautious from the start because he's a typical womanizer. He told me early on that he had cheated on his girlfriends many times in the past, and tells me about his sexual escapades all the time. For this reason he's not someone I see a future with, and at first I thought this would be a short lived fling, but over the past few months I've come to like him a lot. He says that he has never been this honest with anyone and loves the fact that he can tell me anything.
Recently, however, he said he had something he needed to get out that's been killing him and proceeded to tell me that he's confused because he was not ready for a serious relationship when he met me. He says that it's bothering him a lot because he's very much into me, but a thought that he's not ready keeps popping up and he feels confused.
I told him that maybe we should cool off for a little bit, and he agreed. I am very confused myself, about his feelings as well as mine, because no matter how much I like, or possibly love him in the future, I can never marry a guy like him. A part of me desperately wants him to call me, but I know that it's for the best and I should just move on.
So I guess this is not really a question, and if it is, I already know the answer. He's not that into me, and fuck, he's a douche bag that is NOT worth my time. But I just needed to get this story out there and hear it from someone else. Any words would be appreciated. Thank you for reading this!
TL;DR: | Dated a womanizer who just got out of a 7 year on and off relationship several months ago. Says he is confused about his own feelings and mutually agreed to cool off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21M] girlfriend's [19F] best friend's [19F] brother [20M] just drowned and she's taking it really hard, but I never knew him and I don't know how to help her.
POST: Sorry there's a lot of names in the title. Basically, my girlfriend and her best friend have been close for a very long time, since they were little. My girlfriend is white and her best friend is black, and my understanding is that they didn't spend too much time with her friend's family, but they were definitely familiar with each other.
I think the biggest source of pain for my girl is seeing her best friend hurting so badly after losing her brother and knowing she's helpless, meanwhile I feel the same way because I don't know how to help my girlfriend. She called me crying and I only met the young man who died a couple times, so I can't say I was close with him (though he was a good dude). I knew his older brother better, because he was my year in middle/high school and I had a few classes with him, but that's irrelevant.
Anyway I know this is super vague but I don't know what my job is here - how do I offer support for my girlfriend? Like I said I don't think she knew him very well but she cares deeply for her best friend.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend's best friend's brother died, she's taking it really hard, I don't know what to do or how to help. I didn't know him well. What's my next step? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21M] girlfriend of 5 months [21F] is considering moving away for a job, I don't know if I should and how I should be supportive
POST: Background: she's been working at a shitty job for years now and hates the idea that she's working outside of her intended field where she got her bachelor degree.
When she first mentioned the idea, I said it would be awful but I support her. As the night went on I don't know how to feel about everything.
She's in a slump and is impatient and wants to run away thinking her dream (junior position) job can be found somewhere else with barely any effort to look here. With a bachelor's she can't do much and I can't comprehend how it's worth it leave a person behind like that to find a job that isn't even a serious position. It's not fair yo her, but I told her I would never be able to do something like that myself because people are more important to me than some job.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend considers moving away because she's stuck at a shitty job and I can't help but feel like she's being selfish and it's hard to be supportive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does anyone have advice on where to find shoes designed to help with plantar fasciitis?
POST: A few years ago I tore my right achilles tendon. I went under the knife to have a portion of it removed, and replaced with carbon mesh to reattach it to my heel. Prior to that I had been told I had mild plantar fasciitis in both feet, but I didn't really do anything about it. And I continued to work my very physically intensive job.
After the surgery the plantar fasciitis has gotten much worse, and is at times so bad I can barely walk. I went through tons of therapy after the surgery, learned many techniques that do help, but it obviously never goes away. It also doesn't help that my recovery from the surgery did not go well. I developed a pressure ulcer from the cast that was put on. And it took forever for it to heal, which in turn prevented me from starting physical therapy for sometime. I have been all but forced to stop any sort of exercise because of it, and have gained a lot of weight. But I push on as hard as I can.
I have been to plenty of doctors, and all their "solutions" involve far too much down time. And I cannot afford to miss that much work. I thankfully have a much less physically demanding job now, but it still involves tons of walking. Some days it takes everything I have to make through the day.
I know about orthodic shoes, but the good ones are so expensive I don't believe I can afford them. But I also know I may be forced to find a way to afford them, as it might be my only option.
So, does anyone have thoughts, ideas or advice for this? My other trouble is that I wear 13 wide shoes. Not easy to find comfortable shoes in that size...
TL;DR: | Have plantar fasciitis, made worse from achilles surgery. Need comfortable shoes, but hard to find any in size 13 wide. |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: We got our first client today. We did it by creating new problems for ourselves.
POST: Since October of last year, my partner and I started to create, from scratch, nothing but our skills sets and hunger, a service that costs customers $1000 per location per month. The potential of the business is huge. All that being said, the progress languished until recently when my partner heard "Create new problems for yourself to solve, and you'll see progress." That proved to be very true. We were doing things in what seemed like a logical order, but logic and progress do not necessarily go hand in hand.
My partner started reaching out to potential customers last week despite the fact that our platform tools are not finished. The term for this is usually "vaporware" - you sell something that doesn't exist yet. Sound familiar? Are you familiar with the Microsoft story of selling DOS to IBM?
The point is, we would have sat on our asses if we hadn't taken the leap. Stasis is our enemy, and it is your enemy too. Avoid stasis at all costs, even if it means doing something that seems risky. The truth is, we are problem solvers, and adapters. That is the core of what an entrepreneur is, and once this is understood, you will no longer hesitate to create. I hope this helps/motivated someone out there. :)
TL;DR: | Stasis is your enemy. Trust in your ability to solve problems, and go create some to solve to get closer to your goals |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [M30] only hires really pretty girls to work for him. Should I [F27] be concerned?
POST: Sorry, jealous girlfriend post!
My boyfriend of two years is a business owner and has recently taken on a lot more work, which means he's had to hire a few people this past year.
Here's the problem.. He only hires attractive women. Now I could totally understand this if these girls had to deal with the public but that's not the case. They do regular office work. My boyfriend's the only one that deals with the clients. So what's the point of hiring really pretty girls if they're going to be doing paperwork all day?
It's not like he's hiring airheads off the street corner. They're all educated, classy, and pretty. I just feel like maybe he's doing it because he likes the attention. I mean, who wouldn't like hanging out with attractive women all day? But still.
It REALLY bugs me when they call and text him before/after work and on the weekends. Especially when it has nothing to do with work. He says he's become really good friends with all of them and says I have nothing to be concerned about because he loves me.
I visited his office tonight and I left feeling extremely jealous, like I'm not "good enough" for him. He's handsome, smart, extroverted, funny. I'm average looking, introverted, and a little boring. The girls he works with are exactly like him. Honestly, when I walk in the door, they probably wonder what the hell he's doing with me.
Am I being irrational?
How can I talk to my boyfriend about this without ruining our relationship?
TL;DR: | I'm an average girl dating a handsome, funny guy. His employees are women I think he'd normally go for. I feel jealous and I'm afraid I'm not good enough. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Terrified because I think I'm in real Love
POST: I don't have butterflies.
I have that weird feeling that enters you when you go on a carnival ride. (amusement park ride, sport, what-have-you)
Back Story:
I mean, I've known since 2009 that I loved him, but I meant it in the "I really care about you and would do anything for you" way, as one would feel for a friend or relative.
We literally hadn't talked in 9 months, because I discovered a secret of his that felt too fictional for reality. I had to take time to think. Finally I realized I missed him and decided I would just 'man up' and confront him.
He explained everything and apologized for keeping the secret, we had a weekend camping, completely platonic. We got drunk and he confessed his love for me. That he always has but doesn't want to ruin our friendship. (He's told me this once before, in early 2010.)
He hinted at getting physical but I declined and distracted him with talk, as he was drunk. It's not right in my mind to do anything with someone drunk while I was sober. (The next morning he had no recollection of.. trying to get me 'close' to him, he said)
I'm so scared. Its exciting and terrifying. He knows I love him in that friendly way, as stated before.. but goddamnit, for the first time in my life I feel something I never have with any other human being on this earth. Something I've touched briefly on for 4 years and now the floodgates are open and the feeling is overtaking my entire being. It's new, and Its.. weird.
TL;DR: | Guess I'm in love for the first time, feels like I'm stuck on a tilt-a-whirl, and its scary. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit my friend needs insurance advice!
POST: Last summer, my friend and her boyfriend were taking their 3 month old daughter to Tennessee. During the trip their car was rear-ended, which gave their daughter a concussion, but my friend and her boyfriend came out with minor neck pains. They have not asked for any conpensation money from their insurance provider, but a few days ago the insurance company called and offered them $10,000 to both my friend and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend made it very clear that they would not accept the money unless it was being given to their daughter. His reasoning is that taking money from the insurance company is stealing from the little man. (They are in their 20's so we know the money isnt coming from what they have paid in insurance thus far). So my question to you reddit is where does all that money come from? Also, should they take the money even though they had no major injuries?
TL;DR: | My friend and her family were rear-ended on the highway, and their insurance company is offering them $10,000 apiece. Where does the money come from? Should they take it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need perspective. I am 25M. Do I require too much space?
POST: I've dated two girls seriously so far. My first GF I dated for 5-6 years (when I was 18-24 yo, she was the same age), and recently I dated a girl two years younger than me for I'd say 5-6 months. Both broke up with me for the same reason: they wanted more "us" time and I failed to give them that.
Personal background: I go to school, work a part time job (24-40 hours weekly), and I like to play video games and go out with other friends too. I am an introvert and I need to stay home every so often to recharge.
What I gave:
* On average, I would spend 3/7 days of the week with my S/O. About 4 hours per date.
* Consistent daily texting, periodical breaks in-between texts.
* 30 minute phonecalls daily.
What they want:
* Spend 5-7/7 days together.
* Both girls I dated had few hobbies outside of TV watching. I'm not judging, just saying that my presence was probably a big part of their life.
Sorry for making it so "mathematical" but really this is just what I'm comfortable with in a relationship. I know everyone is different and I should look for someone compatible with me, but I just need perspective. Do I need too much space?
Are they justified in saying that if we were in a committed steady relationship, I should spend every free moment I have with them? It's driving me nuts to think that if I want to go steady with a girl, I have to quit my hobbies and give up my alone time to date them!
TL;DR: | My friends tell me my exes were "clingy" and not to worry. I am worried that I require "too much space". What do you think? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by joking about the Jenny story.
POST: This did not happen today. Most of you may not know about the Jenny story...ah who am I kidding, it was on this very subreddit. Anyways, I saw all of these gifs and pictures making it to the front page, and I thought 'Hey, why not grab some free karma?' So then I posted to /r/gifs a gif of Andy, from The Office, crying at a computer screen, with the caption 'Reddit right now'. The comments were mostly 'What? I don't get it?' I tried to explain the context to the commenters, almost none of them knew what I was talking about. I mean, come on, it was all over Reddit.
TL;DR: | Read the Jenny story on /r/Tifu, tried to jump on the karma train, nobody got the joke. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: (m/27) trying to stay out rebound zone with (f/23)
POST: Dear Reddit,
I'm in a bit of a situation. I suppose age doesn't matter, but for reference she's 23 and I'm 27. I'm usually the type to fall for someone very quickly, but since my last relationship 3 years ago, I haven't. I'm quick to write off potential girlfriends now, of course, except for this one. I met her a year ago. I'm a regular at my neighborhood bar and she works there. I've had a huge crush on her, which she knows because I've told her. I suppose I should get to the meat and potatoes of it:
* she just got out of a year and change relationship
* she still lives with the ex who is supposedly moving out in a month
* she's talking to/seeing someone else
* we've had sex 2x and it brought me back to being a teenager, meaning I'm quick to be interested in only one round for the both of us and then wanting to go to sleep. Here, we fool around all night.
* when we do hang out, it's her initiation
* I've tried to get her one on one, but she had to bail because of a busy weekend where she needs her rest
* she keeps saying don't get emotionally attached where she will then proceed to cuddle up against me, stroke my face, kiss me, other general signs of affection
* last time we hung out she said no more kissing because she doesn't want me to get emotionally attached. No problem. As we part ways, she calls me back and plants te biggest kiss on me.
I suppose I'm wondering how I can keep my head above water. I'm worried I might be viewed as a rebound. What signs would she show that she's emotionally attached? How do I stay ahead of the game? I know I don't want to jump into a relationship with her, but I would like it to lead to one. Any advice would be appreciated.
Enjoy your weekend everybody!
TL;DR: | want to stay out of rebound zone and be viewed as a boyfriend by girl a month out of a year and change relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18m] just broke up with my girlfriend [20f] about an hour ago and I'm already drowning in emotion and stress
POST: We started dating when I was 15 and she was 17 and it's been a long road with a lot of bumps but a lot of happy times too. I've been dating her so long its like we grew up together. But now I realized we prioritize getting married very differently. She wanted to do it ASAP and I didn't care either way how long it took. I told her I didn't want to do it till after college and she agreed but it was still hard. The reason why we broke up is irrelevant to me right now. I just need advice on how to handle this. It's killing me. There's so many pictures of her in my house and everything I look at makes me think of her. And I also can't bear to think of her crying still, yet I know this broke her heart.
TL;DR: | I need advice on how to handle myself and get over a long term relationship break up. Especially because I can't even bear to think of her crying and I know she is |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (23) having a hard time telling my sister (21) she cant use my house as her laundromat.
POST: My 21 year old sister moved into an apartment on her own almost a year ago. Her apartment doesnt come with a washer/dryer but it does have hookups. When my sister first moved in, I let her do laundry at my house once a week to help her out a little till she got a washer and dryer.
Well its been almost a year and shes still doing laundry at my house, which wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that my boyfriend and I live together in his house. Shes an LNA and works nights, so shell come to my house whenever she has time during the day to do laundry when my boyfriend and I are both at work. Sell lounge around on my couch and watch my cable and netflix. This gets awkward when my boyfriend comes home on lunch, or will get home from work early and my sister is there lounging on the couch watching TV.
At this point, I feel like shes being extremely rude and my boyfriend is sick of her coming over when ever she wants to use our washer and dryer. I totally understand his frustration, because I would hate it if the roles were reversed. Now let me also point out that she has a very misbehaved badly trained Shepard that shits all over her apartment, and she uses TOWELS to clean it. Guess where she tries to wash those towels...IN MY MACHINES EWWWW. She doesnt think shes being rude, She thinks that because shes my sister I owe it to her and its ok for her to do whatever she pleases. I feel bad, but im at the point where im ready to tell her she needs to start using a laundromat or get her own machines. I know its my house, but What do I say to this girl without sounding like a cold hearted bitch??
TL;DR: | My sister is taking advantage of me and my resources. she will come to my house whenever she wants to do her laundry, and my boyfriend and I are fed up and annoyed at this point. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[19M] I don't know if [19F] likes me or is flirty with me specifically for some odd reason.
POST: I met this girl about a month ago. The first time we met I would say that there was an immediate connection. We stayed up talking to each other until the sun came up. Every other time since then whenever I go to hangout somewhere and she is there we end up talking for pretty much the entire night.
Everyone that knows her thinks that she is interested in me because they haven't seen her talk to a guy like this for this amount of time. So I of course asked her out on a date. She said that she isn't looking for something like that right now.
I talked to my friends and her friends about it and they still say that she is interested in me and that I need to take things really slow. I am obviously really confused at this point and just want to know what the best course of action would be.
TL;DR: | I met a girl and it seems as if she is interested in me. I asked her out on a date she said no. Her friends and my friends still tell me to keep talking to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: (NZ) I have 60K salary with a 45K debt over 6 years. My salary as now increased to 80K, seeking advice about it.
POST: With the total repayments for the debt with a 60K salary, after everything is paid for including rent/utilities etc, I usually have about $250 left per fortnight. This usually covers my day to day expenses but basically leaves nothing to save. I haven't been living frugal but not extravagant either. To give you an idea, if someone saw how I live, they would never suspect I'm in debt and probably have a lot of savings.
But now, my salary has jumped by an extra 20K with no additional expenses going out. I'm trying to look at the bigger picture where in 5 years time I can potentially see myself being married and having children, while the loan is for 6 years.
Till now, the left over money I have I've been trying to save(very tiny amount), and just continue making the normal repayment amount. So while I'm in debt I can still live reasonably, buy the odd thing etc. With potential marriage/children in 5 years time, would it be better to continue 'saving' like I have, or should I make additional repayments to pay off my debt faster?
TL;DR: | Continue just making the regular loan repayment and build up some 'savings', or have no/less savings and pay off my debt faster? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my Female Friend [17 F] Who I Met in University is ONLY Interested in Talking About School
POST: So I'm a freshman and during my first week at University I met a girl whom I have a couple of classes with and I like her. Like like her. Only problem is: when I asked for her number she assumed I was asking so that we could discuss school/assignments together. When I talk to her in class it's all fine, and we'll tell each other funny stories/talk about normal things but I tried texting her the other day and she
1. Didn't respond until 24 hours later and
2. When she did, it was regarding an assignment question.
It was pretty much as if she had never received the text from me. I'm sensing mixed feelings here; I don't know if she's just afraid about texting and so she simply decides to talk about school related stuff or is she just not interested at all and ONLY wants to talk about school related stuff? How can I get her to want to talk about other stuff?
TL;DR: | I met a girl at the university we both started going to and I'm finding myself liking her but she ONLY ever wants to talk about school. How do I get her to want to talk about other stuff? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Manitoba Birth Injury Statute of Limitations?
POST: I've looked into this before and I believe that my case is unfortunately well outside the statute of limitations, but I thought I would ask here just in case I'm wrong.
When I was born I suffered from meconium aspiration, which the attending doctor failed to properly treat. As a result I was in the intensive care unit at another hospital for a month, during which I stopped breath 3 times (one time was in my dad's arms in the elevator immediately after I had been cleared to finally go home).
Obviously I survived, however I was in an incubator for quite a long time, and as a result I am now severely hearing impaired. My parents decided not to sue because "the same thing happened to another baby that ended up dying and the obstetrics unit was closed because of it. We thought that was justice enough and didn't want to cause trouble." I believe [this] is the case my mom is referring to.
So I am 25 now, and about to start the process of buying hearing aids for the first time since my provincial health care coverage expired (no coverage after you turn 18). I've done the math and if I have to buy new hearing aids every 5 years as recommended, that's a cost of around $1500 a year for the rest of my life. All because my parents were too Canadian to sue.
TL;DR: | What's the statute of limitations for birth injury malpractice suits in Manitoba? I read somewhere that I had until 2 years after I turned 18, but not sure if that's correct. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Two Highschoolers with an Urge to Peace Out!
POST: So I suppose I'll begin with a bit of context.. basically a friend of mine and I have begun considering the option of travel for.. well for a period of time to keep it general.. I've had the thought for a while now, and have always just wanted to kind of get away from North America in a non-all-inclusive fashion. Some perspective-attaining experiences if you will. Note that we are both male and Canadian, and both 18 years old.
Also note that by highschoolers I mean that we've both graduated with grades that can get us into whichever schools we'd prefer to attend for the most part, and this is our 12+ year. I guess neither of us are really too certain as to what to do next, and we've never been the types of kids to like to feel enclosed and in our own little shell, which is essentially where we've spent our whole lives (in Canada). I guess that's pretty much it regarding history / current situation... if you want some more details feel free to ask.
As far as the trip itself goes...
Funds: I have no issue with money whatsoever as I've been working for most of my teenage life. He currently has a part-time job but is definitely more stressed than I when it comes to finances... so the main point of this post is something to get us TFO in a semi cost-effective manner.
Duration: However long our funds can support us or until we get tired. Anywhere from several months to half a year or beyond has been discussed. Like I said, we're just trying to figure some shit out.
Location: We have no idea. It will likely be related to funds... but I guess that's mainly why I'm posting here. Not necessarily for inspiration but more for the actual carrying out of the idea.
So everything I've said is pretty general and I realize, but..
TL;DR: | every tip or piece of information / advice to give for 2 18 year old canadian males to GTFO including suggested locations and approximate pricing or where I can go to get said information |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why being rejected never feels better?
POST: I went with the idea of *being rejected multiple times makes it hurt less*, so I kept getting rejected like a champ to realize.. its doesn't feel any better. It hurt as much as the first time.
About two years ago I asked a girl out, it was brutal, it was my first time and she flat out said no. For about a week I was pretty depressed, I really felt depressed.
I read somewhere that the more practice you get, it wont matter to you anymore. Four girls later and four rejections later, its as brutal as before.
Is it that I feel the anticipation of her saying yes and being disappointed that gets me or is it something else?
TL;DR: | Rejection king here, doesn't get better with time. I thought it was supposed to feel better since you have experience with the thing. It hurts as much as it does the first time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Me --M(25), F(18), I'm confused with this girls actions, help!
POST: Hello, I have a serious crush with a girl, she is a classmate, we take the same classes and we hangout with the same small group of friends, I feel confused with the mied signals, here's what happened:
I asked her out a month ago, she said yes but that she would text me when, nothing happened, and in school it felt awkward between both, she would ask me casual stuff but you could tell something was off, then I asked her again a second time 2 weeks later, just because I needed to know, started using lame excuses and told me to ask her the next day.
The next day she told me she was interested in somebody else and that she felt it was unfair for me, that we could go out but as friends, I was speechless and as we had to go because college was done for the day, we took separte ways, I texted her what was on my mind, and she told me that she didn't want to lose me as a friend and stuff, so basically friendzoned me. And I started to forget about her, and mind my own business. But now she started looking for me, trying to get us to hangout and she's been playful.
But it's all pretty strange, because, one weekend she asked me if I could stay after college to help her, I agreed but unexpected things like surprise test made me stay longer at college and she wouldn't stay, so it never happen.
I like being around her, but I suspect I'm deep in the friendzone, I want to be more than friends with her. What do I do?
TL;DR: | got rejected by a girl, she said that we are friends, but now she is playful and looking to hangout. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Niece is having her 12th birthday tomorrow, I want to make something out of it.
POST: A hello from me to you,
So I've got a question for you guys. My niece has her 12th birthday tomorrow and it's a rather sad story. She's a somewhat spoiled kid and can be an annoyance sometime, but I think that's due to her upbringing. She has her nice moments though. I don't think she has many friends at school (doesn't really matter now as she is going to highschool in a few months). Her parents are both gone that day. So that's why my mom said it would be ok if she spent the evening with us and try to make the best of it. Matter is, my parents had other plans that night and can't stay either. That's when my mom asked me entertain her for the night. Normally it would have tried to negotiate and and somehow get someone else to do it, but I think she deserves somewhat of a party.
What does a 12 y/o like doing nowadays? Should we go out to a movie or something?
If you have a good idea the upboats will guide me to it.
TL;DR: | My 12 year old niece has her birthday tomorrow, and I want to try my best at making it memorable, what do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Supposedly have a date tomorrow, but guy never texted to confirm details. Should I assume it's canceled?
POST: I matched with a guy on Tinder late last week, we exchanged a couple of messages with generic small talk and he asked me to get a drink. I said sure and asked him what day he was free. He suggested Wednesday and I said that sounds good to me and gave him my phone number so we could nail down the plans via text. He said thanks — and that's it. He didn't text me with his number, he never said anything about time or place. Now the date supposedly is tomorrow, but it's 11 pm, and I have no idea what time he wants to meet, where he wants to meet, or if he even is still planning on going.
This is extremely annoying because I like to know my plans for after work the night beforehand. I'd like to pick my outfit accordingly if I am going on a date. If I'm not, I'd like to know so I can make other plans with friends. I can't text him because I don't have his number, and at this point, I'm so annoyed that I don't really want to message him on Tinder (we haven't talked since I gave my number). I really don't want to go anymore — I'm normally anti-flake, but at this point, is it reasonable to decline if he does ask me tomorrow? Should I message him tonight and cancel? I hate being rude to people so I'm nervous at the thought of confronting him via message.
TL;DR: | Tinder guy asked me out, I said yes. Date is supposedly tomorrow but it's 11 pm and he never told me the details. Should I assume it's canceled? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [22 F] go see my mom [63 F] in the hospital
POST: My mom is very sick. She got bronchitis a few weeks ago and has been struggling severely with her apetite, causing her to lose a significant amount of weight. Today she was very disoriented and weak, talking nonsense and almost unable to walk. My dad took her to the ER. They checked her blood sugar and discovered it was 1100. Normal blood sugar isn't higher than 100. Above 400 is considered severely dangerous and potentially life-threatening. She is in the ICU now while they try to stabilize her blood sugar, hydrate her, and get some electrolytes into her.
That is all I know. I live 3 hours away. My dad doesn't have a cell phone. I'm so unbelievably scared. This could kill her. The fact that she is in the hospital is good, because it means they have a chance to fix it, but there's no telling what will happen. Her kidneys could shut down. She could have a heart attack or a stroke. She could have permanent brain damage.
The only way for me to get there is to take a shuttle, and the shuttle doesn't run on Sundays. I want to see her, but I know my dad will just tell me everything is fine and tell me to stay here. But I don't know if I can forgive myself if she dies and I don't see her one last time.
My other concern is that I'm not feeling well. My throat has been sore, I've been tired, and the flu is going around. If there's any chance that I'm sick it won't be safe for me to be around her.
I don't know what to do. I can't sleep. I can't get in touch with my dad, and because of confidentiality stuff the hospital can't tell me anything.
I'm not thinking clearly. Should I pack up my stuff and hop on the shuttle first thing in the morning? Should I wait to hear back from my dad?
TL;DR: | My mom is in the ICU three hours away and I don't have a car. Should I attempt to go see her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[18m] think my girlfriends[17f] best friend is a bad influence on her. Not sure how to approach the situation.
POST: My girlfriend and I have a happy relationship and do most things with each other, neither of us are 'troublemakers' by any means, and we don't really like getting into any trouble, going to parties or drinking/getting high. We just kind of avoid it..
While my girlfriend is with me, she claims she hates doing stuff like that, and doesn't want to get involved. But when shes with her best friend, they always end up doing something that she claims she wouldn't do, like getting drunk, etc... She immediately afterwards apologizes to me and claims she regrets it, and doesn't want to get into it again. She seems genuinely serious when she says this and I believe her when she says she honestly doesn't like it.
It seems every time I let her alone with this friend she has, she falls into peer pressure and just does things that she later regrets. She can't seem to break out of the loop.
I'm pretty lost on what to do or say to her. Any thoughts, opinions, comments, concerns advice? All is appreciated. Thanks
TL;DR: | GF falls into doing things she later regrets with her friend. I'm worried about her. Not sure what to say or do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Not sure best way to job search after lengthy employment at first employer.
POST: I have been working for the city I live in as a staff for a special needs day program the last 6 years. Southwest USA. I'm 23.
I was thinking about going to school for Industrial and Organizational Psychology (business psych), and got up to an Associates before finances/life got troublesome.
I think I'm getting burned out what I'm doing, and I could use a full-time at higher pay. Right now I'm at 30h@ 11.5$. If these numbers are embarrassing, I can only say I got complacent. It was easier to stick it out while going to school than hit the job apps. Now that school is up the air, I figure I'd better start climbing the ladder in the mean time.
My plan is to get a job in HR department with my employer. Entry is high school education, 40h@17$. The spot above that is Associates + 3years HR experience 40h@20$. Governmental benefits, since its public sector.
I want this job in particular because its inter-department, in the field of study I want to make a career someday, and I'm more comfortable with administrative desk work than what I'm doing now (hands on recreation). I'm even considering going to school for a Bachelors in Human Resources if thats possible, instead of minimum Masters for IO psychology.
My problem is I dont know how to job search since I've been at this place for 6 years. I worked at a movie theater before this for about 6 months I think. I jumped ship because I got a city job.
Who do I talk to in order to get my foot in the door? Would my supervisors help? Should I talk to someone in HR? We have internal and external job postings, and I set up an email alert when HR spots come up. I dont think its a spot that empties out often, and I don't know how many people are in front of me, if any. I just want them to keep me in mind, or at least know I exist.
I obviously would prefer to stay with my employer for several reasons, but also want to look into any HR position thats a step up from what I'm doing now.
TL;DR: | worked at current job for 6 years. I dont know the best way to get a better position, but I want one. Inter-department if possible, but oh well. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my GF [24 F] long term, Why do I stay?
POST: I have been dating her for three years now, she broke up with me once in between. Back together now, but I feel so trapped and lonely.
I just want to be happy, and I feel this relationship is not making me happy. Sometimes it does, but for the most part I feel either sad/stressed about it. She is so fickle, sometime she shows me affection, but so often she doesn't. I want to feel loved but I don't. I want to feel needed, but I don't. I want to feel like I actually mean something, like I did when we first started dating. I know there is a honeymoon phase, but is it crazy to want to feel loved, and I mean really loved, everyday? Is that too much to ask in a relationship?
I don't know what to believe anymore, is there such a thing as a happy relationship? One where I feel like I can express my emotions without being yelled at. I am insecure sometimes yeah, but anger does not make me feel better. Maybe I am just insecure because you never show me consistent affection!!!! (Sorry I am pretending I am talking to her now). I never know what you want from me, I always feel like I am doing something wrong, I feel like I am never enough!!! I want to be happy and be loved and feel respected.
But I can't bring myself away, maybe I am just so scared of being alone. Maybe its my fault all along. Maybe men who don't respect themselves don't deserve to be in a happy relationship. I wish I just never needed to be needed at all, I wish I could be happy alone, I want so many things.
I am sorry for the patheticness of this. I am emotionally raw, be gentle on me. I just want some support, someone to tell me what I should expect out of a relationship, cause I have no clue.
TL;DR: | Is it possible to feel loved all the time when you are in a relationship? Happy relationships out there, tell me your stories! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my SO [26 M] of 9 mos are going through a tough situation. Have you ever "started over", something like a new beggining of sorts? Is it possible and does it work out? Experience and advice needed
POST: So I've been with my SO for 9 months now. In the begging it was all beyond terrific, everything was close to perfect. But for the last 3 months now, problems from our personal lives have started growing and growing and wearing us out. I moved in his city where I didn't have any friends (I have a few now) or social life, money was pretty tight, my bestest friend who came to live with me in the big city abandonded me and we no longer talk (long story), my mom was diagnosed with a serious condition and pretty much everything went to shit with my life. I have been trying to fix and make better everything I can, so it would stop making me depressed, and wearing my relationship out too. I was doing great.
But then, his problems started. Constant and violent fights with his widowed mother whom he lives with, minor money issues, too much pressure and time at his work, and generally he fell in a deep hole of not being happy and content with anything in his life.
He is currently trying to figure things out, how and if he can make things better and move on.
As you can guess, all this stuff have taken their toll on our relationship, though mostly for him. He has admitted some time ago that he wasn't that willing to wait around for me to try and make it through, even though he loves me, but he still did it. And still trying to figure things out.
So, my questions are the following: How can I help him? What can I say or do to help on how he can figure his life out and put it in order?
And, since we are going to be apart for easter, I was thinking that maybe we could do a new begining/fresh start thing. Does this even work out in real life? How do you do it?
TL;DR: | SO and I are going through a rough time, advice needed on how to help him figure out all that's bothering him and if a fresh start thing works irl and how |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I over reacting? Feeling left out in relationship.
POST: I (26F) am feeling left out. I travel for work and figure that 3 weeks away per month is enough space for anyone, but my SO (25M) (of 1 year) has stopped inviting me over to his parents or out with his friends, even to the point of arranging parties the day before I arrive.
When I'm gone, there's rarely a conversation that Rick will start (via text) and many times my texts will be ignored.
Getting Rick to spend time with my family is extremely hard too. Once I came back early to find Rick getting ready to go out clubbing (with his sisters), and upon telling me about it instantly said that I'm not invited.
I would expect that Rick would want to spend time with me while I'm back.
We talked about it, but he just says that he doesn't want me to feel obligated to visit his parents and that the parties were easier to get people to attend on those dates (I returned on a Saturday afternoon).
I still feel left-out despite these explanations... am I over reacting?
I'm worried that our relationship is just about sex now and there are no real feelings on the other side. Is that wrong?
Any advice?
*Rick is a fake name
TL;DR: | I (26F) travel for work 3 weeks/month and SO (25M) is suddenly avoiding me going out with him and peers/family. I feel left out, is that wrong? . |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my best friend / co-worker [23 F] of 2 years is leaving the job and I can't cope with this feeling of not being able to see her again
POST: She and I have been working together for nearly 2 years now. We became the best of friends and get along like a house on fire. We just connect and know each other inside out. We do everything together and talk for hours and hours on end.
She is happily married, and although I really like her, I want her to be happy in marriage. Her husband recently took a new job and they are moving away from here. Hence she has to leave this job.
I don't what to feel. I can't imagine doing anything without her. I can't cope with this feeling that I will probably never see her again. I have this lump in my throat but still have to put a smile on face and not let anyone know what I'm feeling. I don't want her to go and I can't stop her.
TL;DR: | Best friend / co-worker is leaving the job. I don't want her to go and I can't stop her. I don't know what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I take a Masters of Public Policy at Oxford?
POST: Planning my graduate schools applications for two years from now, and I'm looking seriously at the new MPP programme that has just started at Oxford's Blavatnik School of Government. It's a new programme and hasn't been around forever, but it also is *Oxford*, and there are a number of interesting research centres (such as the Transport Studies Unit, Programme for the Future of Cities, etc.) that are linked up with it that do fascinating work.
Without compromising my identity, I believe I have a good chance of getting in, given that it's a new programme, and that I have good grades (3.7/4), a strong resume (active in athletics for over a decade, medal-winner in international speaking competitions, worked overseas in a development NGO, super active on campus, student gov't, etc.), and several letters of recommendation from some of the bigger-named (i.e., internationally recognised) scholars at my university.
I'm interested in working in urban planning and I've had a few people tell me that with this degree I would be golden, but I'm not fully convinced.
TL;DR: | Strong student, strong resume, could get into Oxford, but the programme is new and I'm wondering if I should apply at more established schools/programmes in my interest area. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I need advice on who to live with! (Semi Long)
POST: Okay so for the information, I'm 18 and currently live with my mum, mum and dad been separated for 5 years now and are still on good terms (still friends). As of late I have decided that university was not for me even though I got good grades all throughout high school and so on, I just was not enjoying university. Ever since then my mum has been a total BITCH. She is clearly unsupportive of my decision and claims it wasn't mine to make (whereas Dad said that he'd support any decision I made and it was up to me). Every little minor thing I do wrong now she blows up about, she normally has a temper but it only comes out if I mess up pretty big (I'm a shy, quiet, good kid so nothing major).
At the moment I can't stand living here and seriously am considering moving in with Dad. However my dilemma is that mum has mentioned before that all she has left to live for is us kids (me and sister who is 14) she doesn't know what she'd do without us. Also the way my mum is I'd lose a lot of the stuff I own although not super important I'd lose ps3, PC, TV, My car and basically anything else she can claim she paid for (the items themselves don't matter it's the monetary value of them).
So what do I do, Do I stay living with mum and be unhappy or risk destroying my mum and ruining in family relationships to live with dad?
-NOTE - I did see a counsellor with this matter probably 6-8 months ago.
TL;DR: | Can't stand living with mum but moving out to live with dad would break families good relationship and destroy mum, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by telling my good vegan friend I value human lives more than animals'
POST: So this person has become my closest friend over the past year. She's been a vegan for a little over 2 years now because she hates the idea of harming animals. Nothing wrong with that I don't like harming animals either, even decided to try being vegetarian and have been for over a month. Well anyways we got on the topic of shampoo and she was telling me how she needs to buy some again. I tell her that mine lasts for about 6 months and was only 10 bucks. She replies that hers lasted for 2 months, and was not tested on animals. I tell her that I simply cannot afford to buy a product like that, she washes her hair much less frequently than I do and spends triple what I do.
She got into how supporting the companies that I do supports animal cruelty and I just told her straight up: "I value human lives way above animals. Yes it's not right to treat animals cruelly and things are changing to where that is slowly phasing out. But I'd rather support a company that provides an affordable product than one that Is ripping people off simply by claiming to be "natural and animal testing-free"." That set her off. So many lashings out of anger like I was killing her. I apologized, looked up sources telling both sides of animal testing for the company I buy my shampoo from, and sent her them along with how I felt happy enough that they were making strides to eliminate animal testing. Didn't help.
I know this won't ruin our friendship but a word of advice to people: Don't ever get into an argument with your friend about something they strongly believe in and you could care less about.
TL;DR: | Told my good vegan friend I don't care that I use a product that was tested on animals and hurt her feelings and possibly our friendship. Now I'm just an ignorant "animal cruelty supporter". |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Weird ex [23/F], I am [23M]. Strange social media interactions. Unfollowed/unfriended a month ago, refollowed on Twitter
POST: Back story: she is not a very good person and did some grievous misdeeds with lying to me and dropping me suddenly. Names aren't real btw.
I have not had any luck dating lately and Boohoo I know, no reason to consider a shitty ex. But I'm curious as to what she's attempting to gain - I just want to see what it could possibly lead to. I wouldn't get back in a serious relationship with this person but I want all the fun times that aren't emotional, just fucking around and etc.
A month ago she messaged me recommending an anime after her relationship with the guy she dropped me for fizzled (for cheap instant gratification I never unfriended her so I could see that. Petty.) And I ignored it. A week later she unfollowed and unfriended me on Twitter and fb respectively. Then comes like two Sundays ago where she refollows me on twitter and favorites some tweets, the week after I drunkenly entertain and acknowledge that and fav some tweets like a dummy.
She messaged me saying "hi waldron, hope all is well :) thanks for liking my tweets! :P" and I messaged back saying "Hi Allie, I'm well. how are you?" No response since that a week ago and I'm just confused. What a strange person
I just wanted to share and I guess ask, what would her end game even be? I expect lots of getting ragged on for entertaining a shitty person - for some reason I want to experience some sort of debauchery and toxicity and she would be a good venue to indulge in that maybe. Idk.
TL;DR: | bad ending ex refollowed on twitter after she unfollowed me and I engaged, no response after I responded to a message of her acknowledging my acknowledgement of her existence. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19 M] First dates keep turning into therapy sessions
POST: Hey folks, I've spent a large portion of my life researching into practical psychology and self improvement due to struggles with many emotional disregulation mental illnesses.
Now, most everyone genuinely interests me and I am a very selectively judgmental person, which I feel leads people to open up to me extremely quickly. All my dates go well from the perspective of the other person ends up liking me-but I feel like people invest in me way too much too quickly because I am very comfortable letting them talk about themselves and their personal struggle, and I think I encourage it as part of a passive savior complex. But I think at least on their side it leads to emotional instability from intimacy founded on sand.
This needless to say, reflects some boundary issues and while I enjoy exploring the mind of strangers-I feel it really screws up dynamics and makes me feel rather uninvested. I've worked on vulnerability and I do feel I share in equal portion to them-but I just don't feel the connection that comes with being on an emotionally equal playing field.
I will note this *doesn't* happen a couple times, and one of those times lead to a snazzy boyfriend, but this is still a chronic habit of mine. It doesn't happen with self assured well adjusted confident people since they don't seek that validation, so maybe this is just a filtering thing and representative that these folks \*probably\* wouldn't work with me anyhow? I have a lot of beliefs and traits that make me interested and willing to hear about peoples struggles, but I think it's suggests poor self respect on my part.
TL;DR: | I struggle with constantly turning dates into me "guiding them" through very personal problems instead of moving forward together. Suggestions on an effective way to proceed given I want to not feel in a position of emotional authority over them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23F] Is it normal to get jealous when other girls talk to my boyfriend? [23M]
POST: We've been together for 6 months and this is my first relationship (I had severe social anxiety throughout my late teens/early 20's and am just starting to overcome it) I think I'm better looking than most girls, I don't feel insecure about other girls being prettier or him wanting to cheat or anything. I just don't like the fact that girls try talking to him even when they know he's my boyfriend. It makes me get like really angry feelings, I've never actually acted on it but I've felt like violent inclinations towards girls who talk to or are friends with him. I've mentioned a bit about the jealousy to my boyfriend but I don't think he knows how angry it makes me, I'm nervous about telling him about violent feelings or anything because I don't want to seem crazy. I read through all his texts/social media and I'm constantly worrying about other girls talking to him. I don't like going out in public with him much because once when we were walkin in a mall this group of girls was by us and they looked at him and that made me really pissed off. Please help. My native language is Spanish, so sorry if my English is not very well =/
TL;DR: | I get extremely jealous of other girls talking to my boyfriend and I even think about being violent towards them. I don't want to get theese feelings anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Cooking
TITLE: Advice for my wife.
POST: Hey guys, I have a question and hopefully you guys have some experience and therefore some advice for me. My wife doesn't like cooking much, but feels like she should. Her solution is to make food all at once and throw it in the fridge to be eaten thought the week. This sounds like an OK idea but food doesn't do very well just sitting in the fridge. So my first question is, do you have any recipes for good food that you can mostly prepare beforehand and then spend like 15 min putting together a few days later?
Next my second issue is that because she doesn't like to cook and really hates following recipes, her food is often less than desirable. It is still edible and not too bad, but sometimes it isn't what I enjoy eating. Because she basically will not follow any recipes, is there any training or such on how to "cook on the fly" / just ingredients (need flour, basil, and rosemary with some olive oil - that is about all she will follow)"? I ask, because as I mentioned above, her dishes are not that great sometimes because she won't follow a recipes . When I criticize any at all she just basically gives up, and it doesn't help that I am a rather picky eater. I'm stuck here. I work during the day and get home between 6 and 730 normally so I can't really cook myself or I would, and she gets rather frustrated when I don't like or eat her food. In addition we have a 2 year old daughter who is not only difficult to feed, she won't stay out of the kitchen with my wife while she cooks, complicating the issue of her cooking at night.
TL;DR: | Need way to help get my wife training on how to make food in advanced and on the fly (no recipe just ingredients) for easy cooking during the week. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Me [20/M] & my girlfriend [29/F] concerned about age gap and future, society and us?
POST: Here's the story...
So I'm 20, soon 21, male.
My girlfriend recently turned 29.
As we've been together for half a year, we've been asking ourselves questions that would come with the "long-term goal" stuff. For instance, will this work out, what to do, etc.
Here's a back story: she's in a field that is forcing her to relocate to a place that's over 2 states away, but within reach nonetheless as her pay will be pretty darn good.
I, however, am still studying and in college for a bachelor's degree.
We've been in a long distance relationship for the duration of the past six months, and have been seeing each other once or twice a month for a long weekend or a week or more.
We are both really in love with each other, and I for one truly feel very strongly for her, but concerns are coming up.
For instance...
- Will she be too old, say, for kids and the likes when I've been established in the workforce and have a decent enough income.
- Will our age gap be too apparent and shamed upon by society?
- On that, will others think it's weird and frown upon this relationship of ours?
- Is it actually wrong to date someone older than you as a guy?
The issue now is that with her moving for two years, our visits won't be as frequent (also considering she only gets 3 weeks off per year).
This isn't to say our feelings will change, in fact I expect they'd grow stronger, but we still both are, plainly put, afraid of what is to come, and basically aren't sure if this is a "good idea" in the first place, but neither of us want to break up... She wouldn't have gone out with me had she not seen that I'm much more mature than people of my age.
What do you guys think?
Is this wrong? Is it fine?
Will she be too old? Am I too young?
TL;DR: | Me (20M) & GF (29F) concerned about how to deal with age gap, whether it's "acceptable", and if we can hope for a future in general. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Men of reddit: What leads you to cheat? (Not what you think)
POST: I know what you're thinking, reddit. I'm some girl that's upset because she just found out that her boyfriend/husband was cheating on her. In this case, I've recently found out that I was the "other woman."
But, it's more than that. This has happened more times than I can count. With the exception of (maybe) three lukewarm dates, any guys that have pursued me have had girlfriends or broken up the day before (usually the former). I'm never aware of this, and wouldn't think of getting involved with someone who wasn't single. And I always find out in a horrible way.
Finding out you're the other woman hurts more than I can say, especially when you really like the guy. It's a mixture of what, I imagine, it's like to be cheated on and shame. Somewhere there's a girl who is going to be hurt if she finds out about this. I always feel dirty and used. At the same time, I have the label of "the other woman," so it seems like my feelings don't matter anymore. I'm just that "slut" fooling around with a girl's guy.
Because this has happened *so many* times that I am beginning to feel this has to be my fault. It's like I have a sign hovering above me that says "Looking to cheat? Use her!" I'm trying to figure out what it is about me that lures these unavailable men. Trying to comfort me, some of my girlfriends say that I'm just too "chill and relaxed" which is appealing to guys if their girlfriend is naggy and/or bitchy.
So, men of reddit, if you've ever cheated on your significant other, what was it about the home-wrecker that drew you in? And what can I do to stop this from happening any more? It just makes me feel like a bad person.
TL;DR: | The only guys interested in me are the ones looking to cheat on their significant other. What's the matter with me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] am 6'3" tall and have never had a girlfriend - or even much attention from women at all.
POST: Gonna keep this short : I'm a 20 year old dude who has never had a girlfriend. I find that generally women tend to ignore me. I'm a university student so theoretically am in the best time to meet new people but it simply isn't happening. Been feeling a little bit lonely over this lately. I've been told before that I am an extremely friendly person, so the fact that my personality isn't too shitty makes me wonder if there's simply something wrong with my appearance (AKA girls find me ugly). I've become very bitter when by myself.
I'm a very tall 6'3" and lanky. I hear a lot of stuff online and elsewhere about how girls supposedly like tall dudes. See for me this is like a curse - I've become very self-conscious about my height, to the point that I wish I was shorter. Honestly feel like being so tall and skinny makes me intimidating to girls. In addition, maybe being a minority (I'm black) also severely limits my dating pool and contributes to people's perception of me as unattractive. Even at this height I absolutely NEVER get 'checked out' by women - not even so much as a smile. Quite the opposite, many girls truly act like they are repulsed be me. At this point I just am starting to think that I'm the complete opposite of what the majority of women find even remotely attractive. Just feel kind of undateable right now.
TL;DR: | What exactly can I do to improve my self-esteem and crazy beliefs about myself, and realize that I AM deserving of a healthy relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my best friends, they forgot my birthday
POST: I don't know if I'm overreacting or just being plain silly. But it was my birthday a week ago, I turned 22. Two of my closest friends, both of whom are overseas, didn't say anything to me - in fact, they haven't spoken to me at all.
I'm kinda peeved at this, I keep in touch with them and we're all quite close with one another. In fact, this isn't the first time it's happened, one of them actually forgot my 20th. I tried talking to one of them today, but she said she wasn't in the mood for a catch up because she was "PMS-ing".
What should I do? Should I just shrug this off or bring it to up them?
TL;DR: | Two of my closest friends forgot my birthday. They haven't said anything about it yet. It feels sucky. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My mom [53F] frequently asking me [20F] for advice on making memes for Facebook pages she runs, gets upset that I'm not interested
POST: I just started my junior year of college and have a very busy schedule. My mom works from home and as part of her job she admins a couple FB pages, plus a few more devoted to political causes she believes in. She always wants to use memes on her pages even though imo this looks unprofessional on her business pages but whatever, the problem is that she feels entitled to ask me to make them for her because I'm younger and "know what's cool and will get attention". I find this annoying and don't even really care for memes at all in the first place which I have told her. Just because I'm 20 doesn't mean I follow this stuff or care.
She will send me at least several messages a week either showing me her attempt at making a meme, asking me to make one if she can't figure out how, or asking me out of a list of ideas for them which one sounds funniest. If I try to change the subject and ask anything else about what she's been up to or tell her anything about my own life, she gets snappy and short with me. If I ignore her she will stop for a few days, but then will either call or send a long email where she talks about how it's disrespectful of me to blow off her messages or not keep in touch with her like other kids do with their parents.
It's all really frustrating. How can I stop this pattern?
TL;DR: | mom always asking for my help in making memes for her FB pages when I don't find this fun or interesting or have the time. If I say so or ignore the messages she gets upset. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: (Not even sure this is the right place for this question.) My cat has a UTI. I have two different antibiotics that are often used to treat humans for UTI's, are either of these okay to give my kitty? If so, which one will be more useful?
POST: So my cat definitely has a UTI. I have a non-prescription gel that I bought from Pet Smart (Just started today). I love him like a child though and want to get this taken care of as quickly as possible. If taking him to the vet is the only sure way for me to get rid of this then I will do so first thing in the morning. But, for now, I have Ciprofloxacin (500) and Azithromycin (250) at my house. I've been reading online that a lot of human antibiotics are safe to give to cats for these kinds of things. Are either of these safe to give him? Also, will they be more effective than the gel I have for him? (GNC Ultra Mega Urinary Tract Support). To all you veterinarian Redditors out there, help me please!
TL;DR: | My cat has a UTI. Is it safe to give him Azithromycin 250 or Ciprofloxacin 500 and if so, will either of them be effective in treating it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[16M] like this girl [16F] but I think I screwed it up
POST: I am super duper shy. There was a girl in my class last year that I liked alot. We had assigned seats and sat right next to each other. I talked to her the first day. I went home added her on fb and then talked to her there. It was all good, normal conversation. But me being beta as fuck was super awkward and didn't know what to say so I didn't talk to her at all. for like the whole time we sat next to eachother until we got new seats. A few weeks later I decided to talk to her on fb again so I said hey and she didn't reply. And for some reason about a month later I messaged her again and still haven't talked to her in real life this whole time. And then in the summer I messaged her again. All times no response. did I already screw everything up? First impression and all that?
TL;DR: | I was super awkward and tried to only talk to a girl I liked on fb even though she sat right next to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: He's just not that into me, right?
POST: I'm 20 (girl) and he's 21; we met in class a while ago (attend the same college) and became friends. We talk nearly every day about all kinds of things (music, movies, things we find annoying, the internets, etc.) - we're absurdly compatible. He's smart, funny, and cute, and while I'd like to think of myself as any combination of those qualities, I find it nearly impossible to act normal around him because of my massive crush.
He gives me few indicators that he has any romantic or sexual inclinations toward me whatsoever, but just as I'm writing him off completely, I'll get a text or IM about something completely random or hilarious and find myself unable to pull away from him. He blushes whenever we talk in person, and seeks my approval on everything from the memes he creates to the sale dvds he buys. He constantly tries to impress me by bragging about success in even the most mundane of areas.
Also, we'll usually contact each other somehow when under any influence, but plans to spend time together or meet up are usually somehow only joked about/lost in the conversation. I know that this is primarily the description of a standard platonic friendship, but he took forever to ask for the most basic contact information and we don't spend much time together (despite talking constantly), which I just find questionable. The things he texts me....how he goes out of his way to make sure I've appreciated something he's done.....his jokes about being forever alone.....he's so hard to read!
Somebody, ANYBODY, preferably multiple people, tell me I just need to move on already. My friends tease me about how weird our relationship is. I would too. ApologiezZz for length.
TL;DR: | I talk all the time to a good friend, and I can't tell if he's completely disinterested or just shy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Student loan in (administrative) forbearance - will this hurt me?
POST: please let me know if any further details or clarifications are needed :)
I received a scholarship in college that had a post-school work requirement. If the requirement was not met (which it was not) it will turn into a loan with interest. A couple days ago I received a statement in the mail. It's not a bill, and I called the lender to verify that it's not a bill and no balance is currently due from me. A loan repayment plan hasn't even been generated for me by the lender but I should be receiving communications about repayment in the near future. and I'm welcome to make payments now if I want to.
Here's where I get concerned: the loan is in forbearance, some sort of administrative forbearance. the scholarship ($6k) was converted to a loan and started accruing interest (8%) on July 25. They are calling this the accrual period begin date. the accrual period end date is Sept 30. the statement says there is an anticipated capitalization amount of $242 and change on Jan 26.
other than the fact that I'm currently accruing interest, will this forbearance status have any negative effect on my credit? I ask because I'm getting ready to lock in for a mortgage in the next couple weeks. when I spoke with the lender, I also asked if this is currently being reported to the credit bureaus and was told it is not because it's not in repayment and there isn't even a repayment plan associated with the loan yet. is this true, or should I call back and get a second opinion from another customer service rep at the lender?
as a general note, since I imagine this will come up in discussion, I'm not prepared to make any payments on this loan any sooner than required by the lender or when the dust settles with mortgage/house initial costs - whichever comes first. however, if this forbearance status is way more harmful than I realize, I will gladly hear reasons why I should start tackling it immediately.
TL;DR: | scholarship turned into a loan and automatically went into forbearance. locking in a mortgage in two weeks. will this loan hurt my credit between now and closing on the house in a little over two months? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [22F] so frustrated with communication styles
POST: I've [22F] come to find from my recent relationship failures, that I'm an emotionally dependent person. I'm trying hard to combat this, but at the end of the day, I feel like this is how I've been programmed. I tend to rely on my significant others and often times that means I want a 30 minute phone call to just talk
The last two relationships that I've been in both ended after two months. It's always been this scenario:
Things start off strong, we're infatuated with each other. We see each other and talk to each other all the time. I'm blissfully happy. Things cool down, slowly they don't want to see me more than once/twice a week. I feel like a pest for asking them to call me once during the weekday to hold me over until the weekend. Their lack of desire to call me during the weekday puts me in a depressive spiral where I feel horrible about myself. Finally it drives me to breaking up with them due to differences in the expected level of communication. They both tell me that they're too busy to communicate as much as I'd like them to.
I'd like to think that I'm a very balanced and logical person in all aspects of my life, but for whatever reason the past two relationships have brought out the worst in me.
I guess my question really is, have I been unreasonable? All I really want is to have a SO that WANTS to see me and WANTS to talk to me. I feel like I'm pulling teeth! Have I just had bad luck in my choice of guys? :(
TL;DR: | Past two relationships failed miserably because I felt like I was making it such a chore for them to talk to me on the phone 1/week or to hang out more during the weekends |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16 F] with my boyfriend [16 M] 7 months, got caught in a lie
POST: I had a previous relationship with a girl. My boyfriend knows about this, but it was a weird topic for a while and I was extremely nervous that letting him know the details would create issues early on in our relationship. Since then, I've come to trust him a heck of a lot more, I could honestly tell him anything with confidence. But today, I made a joke which made him wonder about it, so I told him that I had in fact kissed and made out with my previous girlfriend. This hurt him because he said that I told him point blank earlier in our relationship that I had never kissed her before, and had very strongly kept that assumption up. He says that our relationship doesn't bother him at all, but the fact that I lied to him. Morality is extraordinarily important to him. So my question is, how do I help to make things better?
TL;DR: | I lied to my boyfriend early on in our relationship, the truth just came out. How do I make him feel better and fix our relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm married and I like living vicariously through other people. Please tell me about your most awesomely sweet sexual encounter...slowly...
POST: I was 17 and at my parents house on one of my first dates with my girlfriend. I thought, "I have the best idea to get her to think I'm cute!" and threw in some old VHS home movies.
This was working out great until all of the sudden one of the tapes started playing scrambled porno. Apparently I had taped over the videos with porn off of the Spice channel. Young folks might not realize, but the channels that you didn't pay for (including the porn channels) would come in scrambled (see below) - you'd even get sound most of the time.
Anyway, I was mortified, but it actually seemed to get her in the mood. We ended up making out and I felt her boobies for the first time that night.
10 years later we got married.
TL;DR: | Taped scrambled porn over home videos, watched the videos with girlfriend, was mortified - but it actually got her in the mood (or something like that), felt boobies. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26/m] have been seeing this girl [18/f] for about a month now but she wont add me on facebook?
POST: So I've been seeing this girl for about a month now and things are pretty good. My previous relationship ended with her cheating on me so I am still extremely insecure and catch myself attacking this new girl verbally with some outrageously insinuating accusations of her just using me and being with me because she's "bored." But she has a very healthy way of diffusing the situation.
I recently told her about how my previous relationship ended because my ex has been bothering me quite a bit as of late. (I guess she found out im seeing someone new so she's been calling/emailing and reaching out via social media.) Once she found out that I got cheated on, she said it explained a lot of my actions and thanked me for being so open and that she somewhat figured that's what was going on. She assured me that we will both need to work together on building trust and to get rid of the insecurities and she has helped me feel extremely at ease about all of that.
However, in the last few days, what's been bothering me a bit is that she won't/hasn't added me on Facebook yet. I am not all that active on Facebook but I know she is. We often bring up Facebook in conversation ("I saw this/that on Facebook the other day...") but she won't add me or ask me to add her. I know it's a very minor thing but my insecurities are taking over and I'm starting to think that maybe she's embarrassed to make our relationship public. Her friends all know of me, but don't know much about me because they've never seen me. Could it be that she doesn't want her friends stalking me? Is she embarrassed about our age difference? It's driving me mad... Should I add her? I mean, I could, but what was the reason for her not doing so?
TL;DR: | Her not adding me on Facebook or asking me to add her is driving me a little mad... am I over-thinking? Are my insecurities from my previous relationship holding me back from fully enjoying myself with this new girl? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [33 M] wife [30 F] says she doesn't want to be married
POST: So, after eight years together, two years of marriage, and a new home, my wife says she doesn't think she's supposed to be married.
She says it's not me - that she loves me. But that she just can't stand being accountable to other people when she's making decisions. That she feels like she's under a microscope, that she feels totally overwhelmed with obligations and schedules and family get-togethers.
I think that we're just going through a tough transitional period - it was a difficult move, and buying a new house is stressful. I think that once everything is where it belongs, and we settle into a bit of a groove, things would be easier. We can work on those things, and talk to a counselor, and things will get better.
She says she thinks she's different now, but comparing the weight of a few months of bad feeling to eight years of shared history, I feel like she's just cornered and making decisions on impulse.
She wants to go away, to a hotel, to "rest." I don't want her to leave, I want her to stay and work on this, on us.
I don't know what to do. I can't stop crying.
TL;DR: | My wife is overwhelmed, says she can't be married. I've spent a quarter of my life with her. Any advice would help. Or just sympathy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [19M] Wondering what my next move should [19F]
POST: Background:
I recently started FB messaging a girl I used to have classes with in first semester of college. During the first semester she had a boyfriend. But they broke up and its been a couple months since its happened. When we first started talking again that was one of the first things that she told me.
More recent:
We would talk every so often on FB. Out of the blue a couple days ago she gave me her number and told me to text her instead. So I did. We started talking some more and now we have been meeting up at the school's library. She found out that I have started to workout and is all of a sudden working out now as well. Do you think this a coincidence or is something a foot?
I do like this girl, but Im nervous that I will do something to screw up or push her away. I also find that when I do talk to her I get nervous and run out of things to say..
TL;DR: | Started talking to a girl again that I met in first semester. She Gave me her number, told me she is single. Found out I am working out and is now as well. Not sure how to proceed |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Dog Escapes!
POST: Share your stories about your dog escaping and what you did to get him/her back.
It happened to me today! At the dog park, as you all know, we have a double gate system so dogs cannot simply run out of the dog park into the rest of the park/street/world. Well my shiba inu is an escape artist, and this incompetent couple opened both gates simultaneously for a good 5 seconds. I got up in panic to tell them to close it, but it was too late and my shiba inu bolted (zoomed) out. I ran out and chased for him. He ran around the park and then ran down the hill onto the street. Luckily he sprinted down the sidewalks and into a residential zone, where he ran through a bunch of backyards. Fortunately some residents were in their yard and held him so I could run around and retrieve him. Sigh...a good half-mile chase.
When I got back to the dog park that crap couple left. Other dog owners said when I ran for my dog they quickly rushed off. Assholes.
Sooo what about you guys? I was so freakin' worried he was going to get hit by a car...
BTW, should I be angry at my dog? Like, be all aww he doesn't know any better...or grr he knows better and is fucking with me on purpose!!
TL;DR: | people opened both gates at the dog park and my dog escaped. Caught him far, far away, but asshole people ran away in cowardice. Share your stories! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Advice on helping my friend through a (possible) breakup
POST: Weird situation right now and I [M] need help.
I received a couple messages from my friend [F] 20 minutes ago, and based on that and a couple other things, I think she might have just been dumped by her BF of 3 years
---
**My Reasoning**
* one of her messages said she was "fucking falling apart"
* she also mentioned going out with a mutual friend [F] of ours tonight. Two weeks ago, mutual friend went through a breakup, and they both went out for the night.
* talked about doing something tomorrow because it was better than being home sobbing
* only occurs to me now, but she had mentioned she was having trouble reaching her BF last couple of days.
---
That's my reasoning. After all that, my thoughts were either she was dumped or a family member died.
---
Now here is the thing: provided that I am correct in thinking she was dumped, what can I do (if anything) to help her, and be there for her? Now there are two complicating factors:
1. We just met roughly 2 months ago.
2. I have feelings for her, and she knows I do.
TL;DR: | Girl I have known and been friends with for 2 months may have gotten dumped. What can I [M] do to be there for her, and not come off as having ulterior intentions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] texting a girl [18/f] but im shy af irl
POST: im [18/m] a pretty outgoing guy i can be shy but i tend to get over it after some persuading ive been texting this girl [18/f] for about 2 months before we got "serious" i had no problem speaking to her i would flirt with her as if we were seeing each other and it was all well and good but now im actually talking to her and we both really like each other im really shy around her i text her confidently but in school when i see her my heart just starts racing and i dont know what to do i cant even start a conversation with her cos im too shy and afraid i could fuck it up but with that said since i dont speak to her in school she told her friend she's really angry i dont show her attention and im worried she's gonna stop liking me and i dig this chick (yeah i just said that) please help and how do i over come this, also whenever i got the balls and im feeling to speak to her, she;s always with friends and that really puts me off i just want it to be me and her but i wanna show her i can say all the shit i say to her over text in front of anyone i dont want her thinking im insecure and embrassed of her or anything cos she's told me she been played a few times before
[
TL;DR: | I reallly like this girl not love her or anything been speaking over text for about 2 months im super confident over message but irl im shy af help please] |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M], permanent grass is greener syndrome. Help please.
POST: I will try to keep this short and sweet. I am simply looking for any advice that y'all will give me.
I am a 26M and currently casually dating 24F.
Here lies my problem. I get a lot of attention from girls - a lot. I realize I am attractive as well, so that doesn't help the situation. I constantly feel like there is someone out there better for me. I don't know if this is truly because I'm unhappy with who I am dating, or because I just 'think' I can do better. I have never cheated on anyone I have dated, and honestly, I haven't dated that much anyways. So here's my question: how do I get over the hump of having a big head from constant attention so I can devote my attention fully to who I am currently with?
TL;DR: | I am an attractive male. I don't want to feel like the grass is always greener with current partner. Any advice appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[21 F] went on a date with [25 M] but still not over ex
POST: Went on a date with a nice guy but I'm still not over my ex. How can I tell him I don't really want to date without hurting him?
I thought I could go on a simple date and not have it be a big thing, but allow me to see that I can eventually move on and that I'm not undesirable as the breakup made me feel. Yet, he seems to want way more then what I can emotionally provide now, and probably not for a few more months yet.
TL;DR: | Went on a date with a nice guy but I'm still not over my ex. How can I tell him I don't really want to date without hurting him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My boyfriend [21M] self harms, what can I do to help [21F]?
POST: This past weekend my boyfriend (dating almost three years) and I got into a fight. He eventually told me that he had cut his leg with some gardening tool in several places. He admitted that he self harms and has been for a long time. He also told me that he has never told anyone before and this his first attempt at really dealing with the problem.
He believes he does it as a coping mechanism (anger, sadness) but its also become an addiction since he self injures just for the sake of it.
I love him so much and all I want to do is help him to deal with what he's going through and just be supportive in whatever way he needs. I have done a lot of researching and tried to inform myself of how he might be feeling and what things I should say or not say. He has already agreed to see a counsellor.
So Reddit, please give me any information that might be useful in this situation. How can I help him? What are things I should know? Am I doing the right things so far?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend self harms, I just found out and he is just opening himself up to the idea of dealing with it. What can I do to help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Leaving a job with nothing lined up
POST: Hey guys,
I am from Philadelphia, but moved to Baltimore a year and a half ago for a job. It was exactly what I was looking for after leaving college, but I was apprehensive about leaving home. Fast forward to now and things have not worked out; I'm doing poorly at my job (in my opinion at least - I make a lot of mistakes, I can't seem to keep up, not understanding, etc.), and I haven't made any friends here so I am homesick. On top of everything, I was so stressed over the summer that a medical condition I have started flaring severely and hasn't really calmed down. My parents are encouraging me to quit my job and come back home. They would have no problems with me moving back in, at least for a little while, and I could go on my Dad's insurance as I'm under 26. I don't have a job that I could easily transition into back home, though I have thought about temping or just taking some simple desk job (my ambition has kind of died). I know I want to go home, but I'm not sure if leaving my job next month when my lease ends and simply moving back home is the best idea.
TL;DR: | I want to quit my job and move back home, but am not sure if it's a good idea when I don't have a job lined up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16M] broke up with [16F] girlfriend in concern for the future. She wants to get back together. I don't know what I want.
POST: I've broken up with my girlfriend because we were distant lately and things weren't as they were when we got together. We've matured (got together freshman year, now juniors) and parted ways somewhat. I know what I want to do in life, she doesn't, etc.
I broke up with her for the simple fact I was becoming emotionally dependent and I didn't want all this to be coming up when we graduate and go separate ways and I end up being depressed post breakup (because wow 4 years wasted)
We broke up Monday, now Saturday. She came by Friday to hand me my stuff and we talked and I told her I couldn't get back together for reasons listed above, and we ended up kissing and that's it. It took forever to get her to leave and I couldn't handle it.
Now, I'm posting this while she's texting me saying I'm obsessed with the future and I can't be happy about now. But imo I just want to be happy later down the road, rather than sacrificing all this time for nothing.
I don't know what to do. I see all these couples graduate high school and get married and such, but how do they get past the going to college boundaries and all this other stuff post high school?
TL;DR: | Ex GF says im obsessed with future cause of breakup, she wants back together. I don't want to be depressed later. She says I need to worry about now. |
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