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SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Bought a used projector from previous tenant of home, it broke today.
POST: Backstory:
I moved into my new house on July 24th and the previous tenant had a whole home entertainment system set up that my roommate and I purchased from him. It came with a projector, projector screen, and surround sound for $700, so it was a pretty good deal. Or so we thought. Today the projector made a popping sound and turned off. We were pretty peeved and assumed the lamp just needed to be replaced, so we ordered a new one. The lamp is still on its way and is expected to arrive Thursday, but from everything that I've researched, even if the lamp is broken on this projector it will still show the led lights on the control panel and on the "replace lamp" light. There are no lights on at all and no sound coming from the projector. We unmounted it from the ceiling and took the lamp out to look at it and it looks to be in pristine condition making us curious that the lamp itself is fine, and the power supply failed or the unit overheated. We are also allowing the previous tenant to store some of the stuff he didn't have time to move out in our attic and shed that he said he'll be back for in the winter.
My question:
What are we entitled to in terms of replacement of the projector from the previous tenant since we have only had it for about a month?
TL;DR: | My roommate and I bought a used projector, it broke about a month later, we're still in contact with the seller, what do we do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Getting married in 2 months. I need your help r/loseit
POST: Hi loseit. I really need your help. I'm a 26F getting married in 2 months and I can't seem to lose the weight I wanted to lose for the wedding. It's starting to drive me crazy.
I am 5'2'' and weigh 141. I thought for my height I should be around 115-120 and was really trying to get at least around 130-125 by the wedding, if not better. NOTHING IS WORKING!!!
Since around November 2013, I have been going to the gym around 2-3 times a week doing mainly cardio and doing Barry's boot camp at home on days I don't go to the gym. I have even done some p90x with my fiance a few times.
I have completely changed my diet and have been eating much smaller portions and gotten much healthier. A lot more salads, vegetables, etc. I have even looked up and done a few of these 3 day diets that i found online.
Nothing is working. I have gone from 145 at the start of November to 141 today. I use to eat w/e i wanted and would always stay around the 140 mark. Since the holidays my life has completely changed when it comes to what I'm eating and how much i have been working out. But for what. After losing only 4 pounds in 4 months, its a little upsetting and frustrating because i truly feel i should weigh much less then this. It's upsetting to know that i went from eating whatever i want, to being miserable watching everything i eat all day every day for no reason.
I'm considering Jenny Craig and even considering getting these crave cutting shots someone i know is getting. My Fiance doesn't want me to take any of these things because he says it's not natural. That with diet and exercise i should be fine. But I'm not.
I'm miserable, tired, upset, and only have 2 more months before my wedding. What am i doing wrong???
TL;DR: | Been working out and eating healthy for 4 months only to lose 4 pounds. Wedding is in 2 months. Need help!! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/M] My girlfriend (21/F) has a controlling mother and family. It drives me nuts!
POST: So my girlfriend of a few months (we've been on again off again for the last year due to the below problem) has a really overcontrolling mother and family in general. We are both at college, but she lives at home while I live on my own. Her family doesn't know we are dating. Her mother forces her to work in her nail salon every weekend for essentially no pay, plus my girlfriend has another job. She yells at her for going out (though she has a 4.0 GPA), for being fat (she isn't), for being a bad daughter, dissapointment to the family, etc.
Honestly, it bugs me to no end. I usually try not think about it, but recently my girlfriend mentioned that she can't keep staying the night. She usually would stay over one night a week, or maybe one night every week and a bit. She said she has to do this to appease her mother who hates that she spends the night out of the house (for reference, I have a female housemate who my girlfriend says she is staying with instead of me).
I feel selfish for this bugging me so much that she won't be staying the night really anymore (she's says not really until December or next year). Am I being too selfish? Is this really a big problem in our relationship? Should it be? Should this make me want to breakup with her?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is appeasing her abusive (emotionally) mom and parents by not spending the night at my house. This really bugs me. Makes me kind a want to break up with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: (F/24) confused about the vibe I'm getting from this guy (M/23) I met at school. Advice on how to proceed?
POST: About a month ago I saw a guy I perviously did a school project with in college. We happened to see each other out & about but I wasn't sure who it was - the face just looked familiar - so I didn't approach him & he didn't approach me. Few days pass and he friend requests me on Facebook, so now I know for sure it was him.
We start talking via Facebook chat quite often. Since I don't tend to stay on Facebook for a long time I give him my number so we could text. Texts me awhile after and we talk frequently. It was casual at first and then I notice him getting a little flirtatious - teasing me and calling me cute. I start thinking that I might like to get to know him because he seems cool through text & what I can remember from the project we did in school. So I wait to see if he will ask me to chill with him.
We're still talking often and I drop hints, but nothing. He still flirts with me but never asks me to hang out. He's told me he is single so I know it isn't that he has a girlfriend. I'm getting pretty confused. Am I getting the wrong vibe from him? Like, I might just be delirious or something? haha What should I do? Advice?
TL;DR: | Talking with this guy I knew from college, flirts with me through text quite often but never asks to hang out. He doesn't have a girlfriend, so am I getting the wrong vibe? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my Girlfriend [22 F] of 6 months, was I out of line asking her to do this?
POST: So me and my girlfriend have been together for 6, nearly 7 months. When we decided to become a couple, I knew she used to have a thing for this guy that she went to uni with, before she knew me. The guy was nothing but mean towards her, she liked him, but he didn't like her at all. I think they went to a few parties together, and as a result, they have a few photos and snapchats together. After they hated each other, we got together.
6, nearly 7 months into our relationship, she tells me that she still has his phone number, contact, texts, facebook messages, screenshotted snapchats, and stupid selfie type videos together.
I told her that this made me a bit uncomfortable, and she comes back telling me that they were important to her. It made me think that she hadn't moved on from him, and I asked her if she hadn't. She got really angry, and deleted all of his stuff in front of me.
This had made her really angry with me, and she won't even speak to me now. Was i out of line getting her to delete this stuff?
TL;DR: | Found out girlfriend had messages and photos from guy she liked before meeting me, asked her to delete them, she got angry and now won't speak to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My gf (23) and I (22) have hit some turbulence, looking for guidance moving forward.
POST: I've been with this girl for over a year now. She wasn't my first, though this is my first relationship and she is the first person I'd consider myself having made sweet, passionate love to. We click on so many levels, she's very easy-going and fun to be around.
We used to have sex at least once a day. A few months into our relationship, we agreed to ditch the condoms and she tried birth control. That didn't last long, as it completely messed with her mood and libido - a common enough result from research we did. Since then, though, things have definitely changed. We have sex anywhere from one-three times per week and I've honestly been fine with, though it's on the low end for me. But the last two weeks, things have ground to a halt.
I tried to bring up the seemingly glaring disparity in our libidos once, but didn't pursue it as she started to shut down. I've since given up on trying to initiate anymore, partially because I'm curious to see if she will, but also to avoid the inevitable awkward embarrassment that follows rejection. Am I less attractive to her? Too forward? Psyching her out? Is something bothering her? Am I not treating her right?
It feels like she just doesn't even consider anything I'm feeling as explained here, that she is simply unaware, but she can't be... right? Every day that passes without any sexual contact is another blow to my self-esteem, easily sending me into a spiraling hopelessness that I should fight to save (this part of) our relationship. It's lined up with a short series of disagreements we've had, and I guess I'm starting to question things. She's really great, I know she loves me a lot and could be devastated if I ended things, but I've had to now consider how important sex is for me in a relationship.
Part of this post is maybe just needing a big ol' hug from the r/relationships community before I have the talk that I know we need, but I'd also appreciate some insight, particularly from what her perspective could be, before I go into it. Thanks!
TL;DR: | I love her, but I miss having sex and it's starting to damage my self-esteem to the point where I'm starting to question things. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [38M] with my wife [38F]: asking for a lot of emotional support. I feel like it's too much, she thinks it's what a good husband does.
POST: Right now it's because we are trying for our second child and have not yet succeeded. Friends are having babies all around us. Three this week, three last week, others pending. Each of them puts her into an emotional state. Today she went to visit her friend and their newborn and now she is crying, saying she needs me to come home from work because she is so upset. Not coping. She's all "it's not fair, why can't it be us" and "I know we'll never have another child" etc etc etc etc.
It was OK the first couple of times but now I feel like when I give her sympathy and look after her it's just creating an incentive for her to do it again. Even when there are pictures of babies on TV, off she goes. Each month when she finds out she isn't pregnant there is a full meltdown.
I really hate complaining and moping. And I never know what to say to her. I try validating and saying "I know it's hard for you" etc but I think just encourages her to do more moping and get more sympathy. I try saying "you just have to get over it" and then I become the problem and she calls me a "cruel cold-hearted bastard" etc.
Right now I am at the point of saying "shut the fuck up and stop whining it is driving me insane" which may lead to divorce. But honestly it is so boring, frustrating and depressing listening to someone moan day after day after day. I have way better things to be doing.
The pregnancy thing is the current issue, but she has a long history of doing this about other things and always has at least one crisis going on.
Am I being an asshole?
TL;DR: | Wife often in an emotional state, I am tired of "being there" for her. Difference of opinion over which one of us is being reasonable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23M] boyfriend just found out I [20F] had a "fivesome" and is completely repulsed by me now...
POST: Hi Reddit, I am a 20 yr old female in a relationship with a 23 year old male.
I was at a party with my good friends and my boyfriend of 3 months and we all decided to play drunk truth or dare. A group question came up that asked "have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?" and I answered no for obvious reasons, but it didn't end there. Straight away, my highly drunk friend says "don't you remember that fivesome you had in the toilets last year?" in front of my boyfriend. I was speechless and I could see that my boyfriend was not impressed at me at all. To make matters worse, it confirmed that my "number" was a lie as I told him that I'd only had sex with 3 other guys throughout my life.
Ever since that night (2 days ago), he's hardly said a word to me and claimed to be "too busy" to see me or talk. I've tried to explain that the past is in the past, but he's been very apathetic with his replies (when I actually get them).
/r/relationships, how can I fix this? I really love him, he's responsible, good job and kind hearted but he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me
TL;DR: | Boyfriend found out that I had a fivesome and that I lied about the number of people I've had sex with in my life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25/F] and my boyfriend [25/M] have been dating for about 3 months, and I feel a little insecure because of his past.
POST: We started dating somewhere around October. He had been interested in me for a while, and he showed it. He really made an effort, and now we're happy and in love. He truly is an awesome guy.
Before we started dating, though, we were quite close "friends", so I know A LOT about his past. He was kind of a player, I mean, he wasn't one of those guys who lies to women to use them and deceive them, or any of that... but he did constantly hook up with many women casually, like having a different girl every weekend. Some of them I know. So he has a lot of experience, sexually, and he's been with absolutely GORGEOUS women. He even briefly dated a stripper (which just thinking about it triggers many body image issues that I've had, well, forever).
On the other hand, I've barely slept with 5 guys since I became sexually active. I was with my ex for close to 6 years, though, so that's why I lack some experience. My current boyfriend is the best I've had, sexually (as well as emotionally, since he treats me soooooo much better than my ex/other guys I've been with).
I kinda feel inadequate, ugly and like I'm not good enough. Of course, this is such a petty, dumb issue. He is very complimentary of what I do sexually and about my body, but when I think about how many women he's slept with, and the fact that I know some of them, or that he still has many of them on Facebook, I can't help but feel a little insecure. I feel very average and like a sexual loser.
I'm also scared he'll eventually get bored of being with me and want to go back to his old ways.
Please help... I just want to stop being so dumb about it. He's great, and he's so loving toward me. Even his friends have told me how different he's been with me, and how happy he seems. So I know I'm being dumb. I just need to stop FEELING all this.
TL;DR: | I'm 25/F, and I feel inadequate and insecure because my boyfriend [25/M] has way more experience than me, sexually. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Roommate Trouble
POST: I am a sophomore in college, and last night I had an argument which seems way to consequential to me, so I want /r/relationship_advice's opinion on the matter.
My roommate was on his computer with his headphones in, doing homework. He also had the tv (which is mine) on, on mute. I asked if he was watching, and he said no. I asked him to turn the tv off if he wasn't watching it.
He became stubborn, asking why it mattered. I told him that I think that if you're not using something, you should turn it off, and since the tv is mine, he should observe that rule. He told me I was treating him like a little kid, and the fact that the tv is mine has no bearing on how he uses it, if it's not actively bothering me (ie. too loud while I'm trying to study).
What do you think? Is my roommate being stubborn and disrespectful, or am I being too nitpicky and controlling? I'd appreciate the most honest feedback possible, no need to censor yourself.
TL;DR: | Roommate doesn't turn off my tv when he's done using it, is he being disrespectful or am I obsessing too much? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] do I stay with or leave my girlfriend [17/f]
POST: OK so this is my first post on reddit and I'll try to keep it simple. I've been dating my SO for a year and 9 months now and for the last few months I've been having strong thoughts about breaking up with her, although I still love her very much. She's basically perfect and sometimes I'm not sure why I'd want to break up with her. She has mild idiosyncrasies but everyone does, although Im finding them more annoying as time goes on. However I can't stop myself having the desire to be single again. A few months back we had an argument (very rare) and she starts crying so I hug her and it goes silent, and I remember in that moment thinking, and wanting, her to break up with me. Just so I wouldn't have to struggle with this.
There was another incident more recently of another girl flirting with me and being really cold to my girlfriend, which has led to her being largely ostracised from our social group. Yet I can't stop myself from being excited by it and having my heart race every time I get a message from her. I don't flirt back because I couldn't do that to my SO, but each time I really really want to. I've also noticed acting more like a single guy when I'm with m py friends and a hot girl walks past.
Yet despite all this I can't imagine my life without my SO. She's so kind and sweet and beautiful and even though I currently stand on breaking up to her tomorrow, thinking about it made me cry this evening (not something I do often) which has just made me even more confused. That's why I need some advice, even if I don't get a definitive answer, anything that'll help me figure this out will be massively appreciated. Oh and to make it worse her birthday is next Monday and although I don't want to ruin her birthday I also don't want to spend £100 on something she'll likely throw away if I do it soon after.
TL;DR: | I love my girlfriend but really want to be single again. I'd never cheat on her so that's not an option, but need some advice! Thanks |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: my friend [31 F] of 17 years seems to have cut me [31 F] out of her life. Advice?
POST: I'll try to keep this short and ambiguous because she is a redditor too though the name I knew her as on reddit is deleted now.
I think a friend of mine just broke up with me in a rather painful way and I'm not sure what I did to deserve it. I've tried messaging her over our usual channels (gchat, facebook, text, voicemail) and have had no response. We have a mutual friend who I asked for help but he refused to on the ground that it was unfair to put him in the middle of this (I'm not even sure what this is).
I'm really heartbroken. I don't know what to do or how else I should handle this. I haven't been able to bring myself to write a full email asking what's going on because I think it will mean the end. Should I just let it be and see if she makes contact or try reaching out one more time?
TL;DR: | Long-term friend cut off all communication with no prior warning/reason. Do I continue to try to reach out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: He [23/M] and I [23/F] are in a monogamous, committed, long-term non-relationship.
POST: Met a guy in junior high, fell in love with him in high school. We dated for three years and we've been not-dating for four. He broke up with me because he's emotionally unstable (bipolar) and he doesn't think he's fit to be in a relationship. He's probably right.
Neither of us have dated or been with other people. We spend a lot of our time together and we have a lot of the same friends. We tell people we're best friends, but we're sleeping together and we both say "I love you" whenever we hang up a call. He was away on my birthday but he Skyped to tell me how much he appreciates me; made me cry.
But we're not together. He asks about guy friends sometimes and whether or not I could see myself with them like we're best girl friends. I think he's jealous but I think he would be relieved if I began seeing somebody because then he could stop feeling guilty about holding me back. He says I'm too good for him and sometime it'll occur to me that I've been fooling myself into thinking he's a good person worth caring about. He says if he was going to be with anyone, it would be me, but it's never going to happen, so I should be thinking about my future with other guys. Then other times he kisses my nose and tells me I'm pretty. I couldn't accuse him of sending me mixed signals because he'd never mean to be cruel. It makes it hard to kill the hope.
It's hard to communicate how I feel about this situation and I can't talk to any of my (our) friends about it so I guess I'm just dumping this here to vent a little. I'm tired and frustrated of loving a man who loves me back, and having to acknowledge every single day that that just isn't enough all the time. Feels like it should be. Thanks a lot for reading.
TL;DR: | I love a guy who loves me back, his emotional problems and shitty self-esteem have us trapped in a 4-year non-relationship. I'm frustrated; it hurts and it sucks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I [27F] responsible for his [32M] stolen iPhone?
POST: After two years, I finally broke up with my boyfriend. It was a mutual breakup: I was tired of his cheating and he was tired of hiding it. I asked him to leave, and he asked me for his first month's rent and deposit ($800). I'm really struggling right now but I managed it.
A week ago I decided to move and rented out my apartment. He still had keys so I asked him if he could return them. He said he would during the week, then he stopped responding.
On Saturday, I left home to make arrangements. I received texts from my new 19 year old tenant saying that my ex had let himself in, drank a bottle of crown and passed out on my couch.
When I got back home I found that my ex was totally unconscious. I couldn't wake him for almost twelve hours. When he woke up he realized his brand new iPhone 5S was gone, though he had had it when he came in.
The tenant admitted he had a few friends over that could have stolen it. He called around and asked but obviously no one confessed. My ex started screaming and punching things, but my tenant was able to calm him down.
My ex has been contacting me relentlessly regarding getting him a replacement. He says I am avoiding him because I don't want to pay for it. I had suggested he claim his insurance policy, but he needed the receipt which he had thrown away.
I mentioned that I haven't asked him to repay the $800 and he went ballistic about how he "sees how it is" and "money is all that matters to girls like me." And "nothing good has ever occurred around you."
My side: he wasn't supposed to be there anyway.
His side: the phone was stolen from my property.
He might be legally right. I don't know. Opinions? I thought about telling him to keep the $800 but he seems to want to do both that and keep the phone.
TL;DR: | ex's phone was stolen on my property when he wasn't suppose to be there, should I buy him another one? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F], mainly a rant about how terrible I feel.
POST: So this girl and I have been flirtatious for about 6 months, until recently when we started to be more in an open and physical relationship. The main reason I had for not initiating things earlier was because of the small sized friend group I am in. I didn't want to disrupt the peace. (Just a little background.)
So we were texting a bit and she seemed pretty down so I decided to call her instead of just text. We talked about what was going on in our day and such, and after about 20 minutes I just said
"Alright, I'm going to hang up now."...... .-.
Why the fuck did I do that. It's not even that I didn't want to talk to her, I just decided that was the right thing to do. I guess I thought there was nothing much else to say? I'm just pissed at myself because I have a pattern of being a shitty guy without knowing until seconds after I have a chance to help it. This was mainly a rant because I am really distraught at how I acted. What I said had no connection with what was going on in the conversation, but I said it anyways ughh. The more I think about it the more I feel my soul drifting from my body.
TL;DR: | Embarassing moment where I told my love interest I was "going to hang up now" really abruptly for no apparent reason. Feeling awkward, disgusted with myself, blown away at how stupid I am sometimes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear Reddit, Please help me understand guys...
POST: ok, so I've been talking to this guy for a week now. We would talk on the phone from anywhere between 2-4 hours a night (I am 24, so this is odd for me since I haven't done this since high school). He always calls me first, texts me first. We finally decide to go on a date. We had a good time (not great, but still really good.). It was sort of a blind date. but we had seen each others facebooks, so we knew what each other looked like. We went to a museum to look at a Da Vinci exhibit, and even watch a planetarium show. He bought our tickets ($45.00 total) and bought us some astronaut ice cream(we had talked about loving it). I than bought him and myself a plastic robot that is molded right in front of you. After the museum we went to a pretty expensive restaurant. (I think that guys should not have to pay for every aspect of a date ... especially when it gets up into $100's) So I offered quite a few times to pay for dinner until he finally agreed. $54.00, and throughout dinner I would catch him staring at me. After Dinner we went to a coffee shop and sat for about an hour just talking and playing cards(he paid for coffee). Well, after the 7 and a half hour date (from 1:30pm to 9:00pm) We had done so many things, that we decided to go home. He told me to text him when I got home and I did. He called me and we talked for about 3 hours. He told me how he really liked me, and I him. and Even told me a story about how he was going to hold my hand but was to nervous.
So the next day We text back and fourth briefly. Than he tells me that he is going to call me after his shower... He never calls ... I text him the next day in a totally joking manner "Nice talking to you last night :(" I never got a response.
TL;DR: | Please help me understand. How does a guy go one min. from really liking you and telling his family about you, to the next min. not even talking to you ? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by expressing my opinion.
POST: *Backstory:* I live in an area where post-secondary schools breed like rabbits. There are seminaries, technical/"regular" colleges, universities, "high learning" institutes (high schools you pay/apply for), and regular high school. The one university is jokingly/lovingly referred to as a high school, especially by students from the other university, and those who don't see themselves ever going (I'm the latter).
One of my friends said that the one school had a zamboni driving course, so I used the high school joke, and said that they would have that as a course. When I said this, it was with a smile and a giggle in my voice, showing that it's a joke, and I don't actually believe that. My teacher hears that, and begins railing on me. I don't mean "FMFN, shut up and finish the note." I mean RAILING. He called me rude, ignorant, disrespectful, impulsive, and essentially told me to shut the fuck up because I drove him bat-shit insane and he couldn't stand me to begin with.
Then he brought his kids into it. His daughter is a really good lawyer, and she's bilingual. He credits this to her going to that school (which, by the way doesn't offer law, only pre-requisites for law school.). I credit her for being a hard core student, studying her ass off, and being a talented linguist. His son also studies there.
He basically is yelling to the whole class that his kids are talented as fuck, then tells me "It's a world- renowned university. Maybe next time you insult something, do your research first."
*What he doesn't know:* If he would have let me get a word in edge-wise, he would know that tons of my friends go to that school, including one who is becoming a paralegal; I really don't have a problem with the school, I just don't see myself there; I did consider the school for a while, until I found out it wasn't the best, and even students recommended I go else where; and most importantly I WAS JOKING!
TL;DR: | One of my teachers lost his shit at me because I said that a university wasn't very good. His kids go to that university.* |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [18m], I've barely communicated with another human being over the course of the past 3 years and I may or may not have a date soon
POST: Bit of an obtuse question but this seems like the best place to ask.
When I began Highschool 3 years prior, I entered into a special schooling system that allowed me to come and go as I please and do work on my own time. Which because I'm a teenager turned into "take schoolwork home and show up to hand it in one a week if that". On the off chance that I did go to school some people would try to strike up a conversation with me every now and then but because I wanted to look like a cool and profound lone wolf anime character I'd ignore them or blow them off.
As a result the past 3~ years of my life have been spent in a dimly lit room staring at a screen and I've been to literally no social outings since then. It's hard to tell whether my ability to communicate with people has been completely destroyed but I think that's basically inevitable.
Around the time that I lost my mind a little bit when the combination of desolation and a bad acid trip got to me I decided that living like this was too unhealthy and I've since made efforts to start interacting with other people again.
A few days ago I made a Tinder profile, got matched with somebody, had a relatively easy-going conversation and she's implied that she wants to meet me.
Advice and or guidance on how to make this go smoothly would be greatly appreciated. Language, body-language, what to wear and where to meet would all help.
TL;DR: | I probably have a date after not 3 years of no social contact and I'm concerned about getting across that I'm a genuine human being and sidestepping a deranged serial killer vibe. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: GF's/Wives of Reddit, I am in dire need of your fashion help! (TL;DR at bottom)
POST: Hello everyone, this is one of my first few posts here on Reddit, mostly a lurker but would like to become part of this awesome community, so please excuse me if this isn't the right place to ask this.
My girlfriend of five years is turning the big 21 in almost two weeks. Due to our busy schedules with school we aren't allowed as much time as we would like to bring in enough income to do a lot of fun things or even buy each other something nice for our birthdays. We usually don't do much other than just hang out which is fine, but I really want to make her feel special because the past year and a half of school has put a tremendous amount of stress on her. She's going to school to become a nurse and she holds her GPA at 4.0.
I've been saving up money for a while to get her a nice watch because she has wanted one for quite some time now. This is where I have encountered my problem.
I know the kinds she likes, but in previous attempts to buy her gifts at the beginning of our relationship I bought her a gift that she told me she loved and used it for quite some time only to find out later that she didn't really like it while being to embarrassed to tell me and hurt my feelings.
I know if I spend $200-$300 I have on a watch I want her to LOVE it, but I'm not very good with girls fashion and what not as I'm pretty plain when it comes to fashion.
I've narrowed down my choices to these following watches in no particular order:
She's shown me watches similar to these, I did my best to try and find ones she's shown me previously.
If you're still here with me reading this post, thank you sooooooo much! I can answer any questions you might need to know about her and what she likes. I will be posting a picture of us soon so you can get a better idea of her.
If any of you out here on Reddit could be so kind to take time out of your busy day and help me surprise my wonderful, beautiful girlfriend who very much deserves something nice for herself it would be much appreciated!
TL;DR: | I'm afraid of buying an expensive (for me) watch for my girlfriends 21st birthday that she might not fully like and would be too embarrassed to tell me she doesnt want it while still wearing it anyway. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/M] My mom (55/F) taking advantage of my finances!
POST: So I feel a bit like I'm being taken advantage of financially - my mom asked me to borrow money to pay her credit card bill for the month until the child support from my dad comes in. Fine, my siblings have to eat (it's relevant that I don't live at home and only eat at home when in town for the holidays). Half an hour later, she's talking about how she bought a $175 coat for $75 and calls it a great deal - when I hear that, I instead hear that she's effectively using me as a credit line rather than as true emergency funding. Later on, I get a text message that she just bought a new phone for my little brother, because she didn't bother to get a warranty on it and it died. (Also, he's 18 and in college, let him buy the d*** phone!) I get defiant that she's not borrowing my money for a good reason, and she goes on her old rant of making sacrifices for us (which is true) and that she's being financially sound as possible - seeing her 20k car on a 40k income including child support and the aforementioned purchases, I find that's not the case.
TL;DR: | My mom is using me as an interest-free credit card and got mad when I called her out on it - what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [31 M] may have screwed up my relationships with my fiancee [29 F] by asking for prenup.
POST: I am going to keep this as short as possible and disclose not too much (unless asked). My fiancee and I have been dating for 2.5 years, I proposed to her last december and she said yes. We have been working very hard to save up for our wedding and honeymoon but 2 weeks ago I asked a question about her views on prenup (I have some general understanding on this). Well, she flipped out and said I won't marry someone who doesn't trust me and planning to leave in the future. I explained to her it was not about trust issues with her but to financially protect both of us if we were to diverce or if the marriage didn't work out. Well, she was very emotional about the whole and this did result into a bad drama (she yelled at me a lot but I quietly listened to her, hardly said much). I personally don't want both of us to financially suffer if a divorce happens. I've worked very hard to save up for the future (my savings, Roth IRA, 401Ks, multiple properties, cars) (in addition to family inheritance that will be handed by father and grandfather). I did explain to her once we got married, everything is ours from the day we legally tie the knot. She completely broke down and left (my house).
The drama happened 2.5 weeks ago. Last week, I communicated with her (called) me saying she needs to rethink all this but wants a break. Now, its getting to a point where she's badmouthing me to all her friends (she told them I was emotionally abusing her). I didn't understand the "emotional abuse" but I only calmly communicated about the prenup (I don't know how this is emotional abuse). Even some of my close friends got upset with me (she told them about it). I explained to them this was not the case and told the story. My friends then understood and stood by my decision, her female friends were very upset but I cut contacts with all of them. So based on all this, I may have screwed up my relationship with my fiancee, is it even worth pursuing or should I let it go and move on? (a lot of me thinks I should end it)
TL;DR: | I might've screwed up my relationship with my fiancee because I asked for a prenup. Now she's telling people that I am emotionally abusing her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My best friend since I was 5 moved to the west coast. I have to admit, I miss the bastard already. What are the most memorable memories you've had with your best friends/loved ones? I'll begin..
POST: My friend (Zac) and I used to own a little neighborhood lemonade business to make extra cash when we were 8-9ish. We would employ the young kids in the neighborhood (knowing they were cuter and they would sell more as well as needing less pay) and set up many stands throughout our neighborhood. We would sit inside and watch Zoids and Dragon Ball Z while they would sweat their little gullible faces off all while reaping all the profit. I believe the most money we made was 74 dollars and spent it on Pokemon Saphire and Ruby so we could trade each other version exclusive pokemon while we continued to run the semi-profitable lemonade business..... Damn, those fucking onions. I thought I told you stop cutting them marie.
TL;DR: | When we were 8 or 9 My best friend and I hustled adorably gullible children to run a semi profitable lemonade business to get cash so we could buy Pokemon games, watch t.v. and enjoy air conditioning. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (F30s) sister (40s) never calls, visits, or wants to do things with me. Should I just give up?
POST: She calls about once a year, visits about every five years (about two hours away), and always has an excuse not to visit me when I'm at our parents' place, which is about half an hour from her. I call her every few weeks. If she's not there, I leave a message. She doesn't call back. I like her. I love her. I would like to see her more than twice a year or so. I would like to have a closer relationship with her, not just random Facebook comments and dinner with our parents at Christmas.
For years, she said she was just too busy and tired. I get it; I'm busy and tired too, but seriously wtf. She says she loves me and hates that I act like I'm disappointed in her. I'm not disappointed with her; I don't think her behaviour shows that she values our relationship. She says she has anxiety, and my disappointment with her behaviour is disappointment in her. Ok. I don't want to be a jerk. But she has a job, friends, etc. She isn't an agoraphobic shut-in.
TL;DR: | Should I just give up on trying to see my sister so I don't make her feel guilty about not wanting to do things with me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm a young coach. How do I tell another, more experienced coach that what he's teaching my athletes is wrong?
POST: So basically, I've only been coaching this sport for a few years, although I also competed at the junior level for a few (total involvement of ~14 years). The other coach got a medal at the Olympics (yeah...). Recently this coach got to teach a couple sessions with my athletes (ages 12-15). He's been teaching them advanced technique that I think is a) just plain useless/wrong and b) potentially dangerous for the kids in terms of injury.
If adults want to use that technique at a higher level, I will personally think it is incorrect, but I won't say anything. But when it is MY athletes, I feel like I should do something. But as I said, the other coach is very experienced (although I should mention, he hasn't taught anyone under 18 for many years, so I feel he is out of touch with what technique kids need to know). The other problem is that when they demonstrate this technique in future sessions, I will feel obligated to correct them, so they'll be getting different feedback and it could be confusing for them. I will need to work with this guy for the foreseeable future, but I cannot allow him to continue to undermine my position like this anymore. How do I tell him to stop without burning bridges? (Also, he's from eastern Europe, so his english can kind of suck sometimes).
TL;DR: | I'm a young coach, and the more experienced, Olympian coach is teaching my young athletes technique that I think is wrong. How do I tell him to stop it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: (m) 19 can't tell if something is there
POST: *Some Backstory*
Okay, so there is a this girl at my work (grocery store) she is 17 senior in high school. I am 19 who is attending community college this year so I will still be around the area.
I work with this girl that is kinda known as a flirt. I have been debating if we have a thing or not. We always ALWAYS make eye contact no matter where we see each other. I will be on the other side of the store and we will just instantly click. Everytime she walks past my department we either wave or she stops and talks to me just small talk. We kinda poke fun at each other with our jobs. For instance I never see her at the registers she is always walking past the department I work in. She playfully gives me the finger then always gives me this smile. I have been trying to figure out if she is into me or not. I am really bad at telling. My friend told me that I should just ask for her number and try and find common interest but I don't want to ask because I would have to see her whenever I work if I were to get rejected.
Am I thinking correctly? or am I out of line?
TL;DR: | Work with a girl we kinda 'flirt' but am afraid to make a move because I don't want to make the workplace awkward. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Feelings for a best friend (m18) (F19)
POST: Okay ladies, this is tricky. I've been best friends with this girl for about 5 years. I (18) have always kinda had a thing for her but it's been getting really serious for me this last year. She (19) has always said "we're just friends I don't like him like that" to any one that has questioned our friendship. However lately she's been acting jealous when I talk about/to other girls, she's been using "babe" a lot when talking to me. So our friends have taken notice and they asked her again she says "im starting to get feelings for him, I just can't tell him because I'm afraid that I'll lose those feelings like I have with other guys" she's notorious for pushing her feelings down with nearly every guy, so the fact she even fessed up to liking me is big. My friends told me right away cause they want me to do something about it before it's too late, and honestly, I do too. My question is what the hell do I do about it? She's very reserved about displaying emotions so it's hard to pick up on how she's thinking when we hang out, and of course I have my hesitation. So, what do you guys think? Thank you in advance
TL;DR: | I have feelings for my best friend, she says to mutual friends she does to but is afraid to tell me because it might just be a repeat of her past |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Are roommates expected to become friends with other roommates?
POST: So basically, the housing market where I live is overpriced and grossly overvalued. Because of that fact, the only choice I have in getting somewhere to live is to move into some kind of sublet or roommate situation. I am not a college kid. Yeah, I'm 23, so I'm not exactly old but I've been on my own for a while now and don't plan to go to school until the spring. In addition to that, I have a lot things I trying to fix in my life (getting my credit back up to what it used to be, working, saving up money, getting over a breakup), so I'm really not in a good headspace to want to be or attempt to make friends with anyone, even a roommate. I kind of just want to pay my portion of the rent, and just go to my room kind of thing. Is it fucked up to want that ? Do I have to try and feign interest in having a friendship with someone in order to have a place to live ? Seems kind of plastic to me, and that would really make it hard to feel even remotely at home.
TL;DR: | Do I have to forge a friendship with a roommate or can I just pay my portion of the rent and be a recluse in the room? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit my family is in a financial crisis. Don't know where to turn. Any sound advice helps!
POST: My parents are 1st generation immigrants and we have a hard time with our language, cultural, and generational barriers. My dad is self employed, but for the past few years the business has not been doing well and my mom just lost her job which was the only steady income they had. My dad is not fully transparent with their current financial information. For whatever reason we do not know the extent of their debt, expenses or anything financially related.
Due to previous medical situations my parents have no savings left.
They have maxed out numerous credit cards, a mortgage, and possibly other loans we are not aware of.
They have been rejected for home equity loans and new credit cards which would indicate poor credit.
Their only saving grace is that they are sitting on two properties (one home and one business). The business is fully paid for and the home has maybe 200k left on the mortgage (back from 1997). We have estimated the house to be worth approximately 900K before the housing market collapsed and the business property to be worth approximately 500k before the economy tanked.
It's hard for me to estimate how much debt they actually have, but they have been "getting by" with roughly $2500 a month but they still ask for money every now and then. Now with my mom's job loss they are in a bind and asking for several thousand dollars that we don't feel comfortable just handing over without knowing that they'll be able to make responsible decisions.
My dad does not have a solid background in finance but has been managing the finances his whole life. It is hard for him to relinquish control or believe anyone else can make a better decision than himself. He wants to scrape by with our help until he is eligible for social security (another 5 years).
I whole heartedly believe he is making poor choices, and even with social security they cannot survive with their basic costs of living.
What are the correct steps we need to take to properly evaluate their situation and make a smart choice on how to manage their debt/assets?
TL;DR: | My parents have an unknown amount of debt that is most likely in the six figures, they have no income but have two properties. What are the next steps for help in the right direction? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I'm a teen, in an asian household, and I just broke my diet- feeling like poo
POST: The reason I state that I'm a teen and also in an Asian household is because: 1) The days when my mom is home she always prepares korean food after i come home from school. Today was "kimchi samgyeopsal" which is just kimchi + pork belly. Not the healthiest meal.. On the side she gave me a godfather sandwich.
I really REALLY can't tell her I won't eat the food, so I stuffed it down. Anyways, I know most of you at this point are thinking: "You can eat it just don't overeat." That's where im guilty- I ate (if i estimate very roughly) about let's say 1500-2000 calories.
It's currently 3:02 pm and I feel like complete shit. I was doing so well on my lifestyle change until today. Everything I look at looks appetizing to me but I'm holding it back through water&green tea.
Not to mention I have the urge to workout tonight in an attempt to equalize the amount of calories I ate. But, obviously lifting a few weights won't do shit.
TL;DR: | i messed up & overate, how can i stay on track and not let this tilt me? and, is this detrimental to how i've been eating the past few days? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not sure whether I [19M] should forgive my best friend [19F] (who I dated)
POST: We used to be best friends and then we began dating. At first everything was perfect and I was really happy. She then started saying very hurtful things and then broke up with me (after about 5 months).
A few months later, she told me she said those things because she thought it would be funny. I got really angry at her and distanced myself from her completely.
A few days ago she apologised to me saying that she only did those things because she wasn't ready for a relationship and couldn't handle her emotions. She said she wants another chance at least at being friends and that she was really sad and guilty when I stopped being friends with her.
Although I miss our friendship as well, I don't know whether to try to normalise things or not.
TL;DR: | dated best friend, she became awful and said it was for the lols. Apologised later leaving me confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [M21] confront my SO [F21] about text messages?
POST: Just for some background information, my SO does not currently want to be in a relationship, but I do. She says it would make our relationship worse and she doesn't want to feel the extra pressure of feeling obligated to text or hangout with me in case shes having a tough week. We have been currently been "talking" for 5 months.
My SO has told me about her high school sweetheart and how he was always the one that got away. She snooped threw my phone to find out some things that were going on with my friend that I wasn't suppose to talk about. So in turn, I did it to her as well. I found very inappropriate text messages from him saying things like "I bet you miss my balls hitting the back of you," "If we ever hung out I wouldn't trust myself to not make a move." So I confronted her about it and we had a fight, talked it out and its in the past.
She made me delete an old picture of my ex girlfriend off of Instagram. For some reason I got a bad vibe from it and decided to look at her phone again. There are a lot of guys that call her beautiful, babe, and make flirty comments with her. She doesn't flirt back, but she also doesn't tell them shes with someone.
My SO and her friend have been recently messaging each other about this "really hot guy that comes into her work." My SO has been saying things like how hot he is and how "They would make beautiful babies."
Would you guys confront my SO about this? I want the flirting from guys to stop, and I know this wont stop it 100% but I feel like just being Facebook official is what it takes.
I also feel like I'm being strung along and I was thinking that with the text messages from her high school sweetheart, and the text messages I'm seeing now, that I should give her an ultimatum. Either were Facebook official by the end of the month of that it.
I really need your thoughts and advice, please be as honest as possible.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend doesn't want to be in a official relationship, saw flirty and reoccurring inappropriate text messages. Thinking about giving her an ultimatum |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why do we get a second and third "wind"?
POST: I found myself exhausted yesterday after a normal 18+ hour day of miscellaneous activities like work, family, errands etc.
It's Friday night beginning of a 4 day weekend and contemplating going to bed at 10 pm like usual. At this point I don't want to waste a "night off" and miss out on gaming or reading a book so I decide what the hell I will read for 20 minutes before bed and end up without realizing catching a "second wind".
2 AM rolls by and same scenario but decide man I will play some BOI:WOTL and then hit the hay. I catch a "third wind" and I very surprised realize its 5:30 IN THE MORNING and force myself to sleep much more awake than I was nearly 8 hours ago.
How and why does this happen?!? I never intended to stay up so late because its not how I live my life anymore. I am not one to stay up over 24hrs but this happens to me on occasion and am always surprised. Anyone else get this?
TL;DR: | I don't want to waste the night, end up staying awake over 24hrs. COMPLETELY out of character for me. Am I alone out there? |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: [Discussion] Lacking motivation for martial arts training alone
POST: *A little big of background:* did karate as a kid (5-8 years old approx), TWD at around 12y/o but quit before yellow belt (belts fees, I didnt even learn how to kick properly...). Got back into TWD last year up until September-ish when I had to focus on studies so I stopped as soon as I got my green belt.
First off Id like to say that my issue is nothing tragic, I just want to hear others opinions
*Why Im here:* honestly, I feel down because I love Taekwondo however I can only practice alone. A family friend is a TWD trainer and she got me to my green belt and Im very grateful for her however I find training alone can get really dull sometimes. I really love competition and the bonds that are made in group sports. There are no tournaments nearby either so that is not an option. Tried talking a few friends into taekwondo but they didnt last a few months.
Im out of ideas? Im defenitely going back to taekwondo, its just irritating me that I get a little 'bored' by myself sometimes (I mean, I don't mind being alone most of the time but for TWD I would love some competition and such..). If anyone has any advice to share Id be glad!
TL;DR: | I love taekwondo but have to train alone with instructor (no other option), gets dull because I also love competition (and interacting with different humans?). I would like to know if you have any advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18 M] need help with my girlfriend [20 F], she has been an au-pair for 2 weeks, and is already cancelling our trip to Australia and wanna break up with me need advice
POST: hello reddit
So as the titel claims my girlfriend and i have been together for 9 months now, and she has now gone to Australia for 6 months to be an aupair (we live in Denmark), she has now been there for 2 weeks and today she called to tell me that the trip to Australia we had planned for 4 months had a change of plans, she told me that some people have told me she should go alene to get more out of the trip. This of course saddened me alot and made me ask her if its because she doesnt love me anymore, but she Said that wasnt it. I May have been a little angry talking to her since i thought it was a really weird plan and it came of of nothing. Now she Wong return my calls and doesnt wanna answer my messages even though she Saw them.
Her brother and best friend have told me she just needs some more time to adapt to talking Care of 3 children 24/7 and therefore is really stressed and that she will become "herself" again.
But i just really need some advice from outside people about what i should do. And its probably Worth mentioning that she has had problems with depression a couple of years ago and i suspect that she is starting to feel that Way again.
TL;DR: | girlfriend through 9 months wanna cancel the part where i travel with her for 2 months and i feel like she doesnt love me, some say its because of stress but i just need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] am very happy with my girlfriend [18F], but her history of infidelity makes me worried about the future.
POST: My girlfriend and I met this past August in our Freshman year of college. We hit it off immediately as friends, but always had this weird relationship that teetered back and forth between friends and something more. We finally decided to start dating in February and these past 4 months have been the best of my life. I feel that we are a really good match for one another and can honestly see this relationship reach new heights.
That being said, she had one major boyfriend before me and she dated him for 3 years, but with a couple breakups. She wasn't exactly faithful to him, having cheated on him a few times. What's worse is that he only knew about the first time and decided to forgive her for it. Admittedly, their relationship was strained because he went off to college while she was still in high school, but that doesn't excuse her actions in my opinion.
She tells me that I'm a much better boyfriend than her ex was and that she was unhappy when she cheated on him. But she seems to blame him for her unhappiness at the time and not take responsibility for her actions. She seems ashamed of what she did, but she never admits total responsibility for her actions. This bothers me, because I don't feel like she was really sorry for what she did. We have talked about this before, but I feel like I'm trying to make her feel bad about herself.
The reason this has been bothering me lately is because she has been out of the country on a trip. She tells me that she could never dream about cheating on me because I'm so perfect, but I feel like that isn't the response I want to hear. I'm very conflicted. I completely trust her and feel like I shouldn't worry, but this small part of me is scared. I have strong feelings for her and I am worried that I am going to get too attached before I get my heart broken one day. I feel like a jerk for thinking this, but I don't know how to bring this up to her without making myself sound like I'm trying to control her or that I don't trust her.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has history of cheating on her only major ex-boyfriend. She admits it was a mistake, but blames her ex for her actions instead of herself, makes me worry about our future. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [31M] with my wife [34F] 1 year, can I stay with mutual friends
POST: My wife and I are probably divorcing, after many fights that lasted for days without real resolution. I finally called her out on abusive behaviors that I had put up with since prior to our wedding, and asked for counselling which she denied, because she thinks the problem is me.
Earlier in this particular argument, she threw all of my stuff from our bedroom into our spare bedroom, just scattered around, including furniture. She won't let me sleep on the couch in the spare bedroom (because it belonged to her before we were together), or the bed in our bedroom (same reason), or the couch in our livingroom (because it's a 'shared space'). So my only remaining option is to sleep on the floor in the spare room. Yay for sleeping bags, it's a fun camping adventure.
Why am I putting up with this? I actually have in past arguments, but I refuse to this time. However, she's threatened to destroy my things if I try to sleep on forbidden furniture (I work 9-5 and right now she doesn't every day, so there's a big window where my shit is quite vulnerable). When I tried to sleep on the living room couch, she sat in the dining room watching a show with the volume cranked to max (this is all after 3am, with work the next day for me).
So, I really need a temporary living situation, at least for now. I don't have a lot of close friends nearby, and there's really only one person I would consider asking for the favor. Problem is, his live-in girlfriend is also a long time friend of my wife (not an especially close friend, but they hang out regularly and run in the same broader social circles). As upset and lost as I am right now I don't know if it's fair either to them or to my wife to involve them. Right now they have no idea what's going on with us. I definitely don't want to be manipulative or perceived as alienating her from her friends but I really need somewhere to go.
TL;DR: | Living at home has become impossible. Can I turn to mutual friends for support, or is that being selfish, manipulative, or rude? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20/F] brother [32/M] is having his bachelor party on my 21st birthday
POST: Hi Reddit, I need some advice.
My brother is getting married to his fiancee in July, and I'm a bridesmaid. A while ago his fiancee asked if us bridesmaids could make it to her bachelorette party on the day that happened to be my birthday, and no less in Charleston, South Carolina (we're from NJ). Most of us said no and I thought she and my brother would reschedule their parties to be on some other weekend.
Well, I was wrong. I'm planning for my birthday as it's in 3 weeks and I asked my brother if he could come. He said no because he's having his bachelor's party then and didn't even apologize when I was obviously disappointed.
I'm really upset. I'm his only sibling and he knows my 21st is a big deal to me. It feels like he even forgot it was my birthday or doesn't care that he's missing it. If it were any other birthday, I wouldn't mind, but it's my 21st and he's my fucking brother and my only sibling. What should I do? We're planning something for Mother's Day but frankly I don't really want to see him right now. Should I talk to him about it? Or just deal with it? Our parents are upset with him too and told me not to take it personally because he's bad with planning but I think this is just really rude of him. Am I being selfish?
TL;DR: | brother won't be around for my birthday because he planned his bachelor party for that weekend, of all the weekends he has before the wedding. Hurt and confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My (f/25) sister (f/23) went behind my back and spoke with our boss about one of my clients to gain it as a client for her.
POST: Here is the story, my sis just opened an accounting company ( apart of the family business in which we both work) since it´s new they have little experience and is very small and still very messy ( papers all over out house). She knows I work for a client that needs an accountant 24/7 so she spoke with our boss behind my back ( also a family member) even after I told her more than once that when her company gains experience I´d gladly pitch the idea and help her out. But since they dont have enough experience or employees at the moment that´s not the smartest move for this client since they have had a lot of issues with the IRS in the past and the client is incredibly demanding to the point I mainly only work for them.
Since she would do it for 1/3 of the money currently paid to the accounting firm previously hired the boss agreed with her plan, eventhough she doesnt have a certified accountant at the moment at her firm. I opposed firmly to this since its my main client and my work relies on the good work of an accountant.
Today I decided to quit since I cant be a part of this charede while people´s money is on the hands of someone without the proper certification or experience.
Did I went too far? Am I exagerating by quitting ? Adivice welcomed.
TL;DR: | sister went behind my back and spoke with out boss about a client I manage to fire the accountanting firm they have and hire her personal company eventhough thats not the smartest move. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [31/F] do more nice things for my SO [24/M] when I'm broke?
POST: Using a throwaway because my SO is on Reddit.
We've been together for almost 4 years, and my SO is unbelievably wonderful. He's always supported me emotionally, and for some of our time together (including at present), financially as well. We have a solid relationship, we live together, and we're set to get married. There's no feeling of me owing him anything for everything he's done for me.
I want to do more things to show him how much I love and care about him.
The problem is, he's the sole breadwinner right now (I'm working on a startup right now, so while I'm working, I'm not currently making money), so I don't have my own money to spend on gifts, trips, or other surprises for him. He's the better cook, and though I'm getting better at it, my schedule doesn't always allow me to be home for dinner. He's also the one paying for groceries, so I don't always feel like preparing a nice meal is "something nice", since it comes out of his pocket.
He's a really self-sufficient, independent person. I keep the house clean, do most of the laundry, run errands for him whenever he needs, and do most of the grocery shopping (albeit with his money).
What else can I do for him that doesn't cost money, and doesn't necessarily require a go-ahead from him? I'd love to be able to give him things he doesn't ask for, but I know he would love.
TL;DR: | How can I show my SO how much I love him, when I don't have my own money and I'm not a great cook (yet)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Regifting a good idea?
POST: My (44f) bf's (27m) mother (46f) gave me a pair of Ugg boots for Christmas. I have never cared for Ugg; thus I have never wanted a pair. My daughter (12) has been asking for a pair since she was 8, but I couldn't justify spending that amount of money on still-growing feet. She now wears a 6.5 while I wear a 7. The Uggs are 7's and should fit her. Is it wrong for me to give her these boots, which I will never wear? My bf's mom and I get along great, and I don't want to do anything that would hurt her.
TL;DR: | Is it wrong to give my daughter the Uggs my bf's mom gave me for Christmas since I don't like Uggs? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (29/M), who has a question about his (24/f) ex gf
POST: I will try to make this brief as possible. My ex had the the tendency to set rules, but if I set a rule like no locks on phones she would have a problem with it. In the beginning of the relationship I asked to use her phone and she snatched it back from me saying she didn't want to sew weird pictures of her and her sister which I thought was suspicious, now I'm no angel after her jealously became a problem I started to chat with other women but I had no intentions of ever meeting them. The problem is I don't really have friends so if I'm going through something she was really all I had and if the subject was about her I obviously couldn't discuss it and hold it in. Anyway to get to my main point, we broke up and still tried to work out it, you'd still think we was a couple, so she went on a date and I found out she kissed the guy, that tore me apart especially my ego. Is arguing in a relationship give a person the right to be intimate with someone else? Is my question unreasonable or unrealistic since we technically broke up, I think what pissed me off is she said she "accidentally kissed" the guy and I don't believe that is possible unless she jumped back when he tried to which isn't this the case. I'm willing to except any type of criticism.
And sorry on my phone.
TL;DR: | Ex girlfriend who I tried to work it out with kissed another guy, am I wrong for being pissed off and think what she did was wrong even though we wasn't together (she mentioned that too)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [17M] I have finally gotten over my crush and best friend but am now stuck.
POST: I recently got over a crush I had on one of my best friends. I liked her for the longest time and went back and forth with liking her. Now I don't talk to her much anymore and our friendship isn't really there anymore. I'm not sure what to do anymore with girls and going for anything because of the events I feel like I will always be turned down. I also feel like I can't talk to girls because I just make then feel uncomfortable or I cannot flirt to save my life.
I think I like someone but I just don't know how to go by it. I have never been the most confident person. I am usually insecure about myself so I feel like girls find me unattractive which makes my confidence go down. I guess I'm just in a slump since I feel like I don't know how to talk to women anymore.
TL;DR: | Just got through liking a girl/best friend of mine now I'm in a stuck and have no idea what I should do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Less than 30 seconds after my girlfriend called me racist for voicing my suspicion about two lurking men, they began a mugging spree. What "told-ya-so" moments have been marred by the shitiness of the situation you correctly predicted?
POST: As I was dropping my girlfriend off at her apartment this evening, I noticed two large, darkly dressed, black men *(their race is relevant to explain why my girlfriend called me racist, NOT to explain why I was suspicious)* lurking, across the street from each other near bushes, motioning with their hands to one another.
As she had already gotten out of my car and was crossing the street, I didn't say anything to her, but just rolled down my window and watched. She turned around, came to my window and asked what I was doing, at which point I explained to her that I found these two lurking men suspicious and wanted to make sure she got in alright. She rolled her eyes and told me I was acting racist for suspecting that they were up to no good. After berating me for a minute about my "racism", she walked into her apartment, through the first door that's always unlocked, and through the second door that requires a key. Seeing this, I left.
She called me less than 2 minutes later, telling me that while she was waiting for the elevator, a girl came in the door she had just come through, crying, ran up to her and asked to use her phone to call 911. Two black men, dressed in dark clothes, had converged on her right in front of the entrance to the apartment, both with guns, demanding her purse. 3 more girls were mugged in the next hour before these two dickheads were caught by police dogs about 2 hours after I had dropped her off.
Never before have I wanted to say "told ya so" so badly, but holy fuck, somebody had just been mugged at gunpoint less than 30 seconds after I drove away, and my presence probably saved my girlfriend from being mugged... not exactly something to gloat about.
So, what's your story?
TL;DR: | saw two suspicious looking men outside girlfriend's apartment doors; warned my girlfriend; she calls me a racist for finding them suspicious; next girl to go through the apartment doors is mugged at gunpoint. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: No two weeks. Ive told nobody...
POST: BACKSTORY! I'm a manager at a restaurant where I am paid a decent wage. Recently, however, an opportunity to move across country, make up to quadruple my current pay, and work with my little brother has been presented and it's a no-brainer; I'm just gonna do it.
THE DILEMMA! I'm a (somewhat) respectable guy and I have always given a two weeks notice. This time I'm about to go ahead and fuck my current employer by stopping, dropping, and rolling out with no more than a twelve hour notice. There's a reason for those who care.
MEIN QUESTION! How should I do it? A card with a sweet satirical soliloquy? An apologetic account of my reasoning? Or how? I just don't know. It's eating me bad and I'm quitting Tuesday night before my Wednesday shift. HALP PLZ!
TL;DR: | I've told naught a soul at my job about my recent opportunity to work for better pay and my committed decision to quit without two weeks notice. How do I do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (24/f) am having trouble getting over past events between me and my boyfriend (24/m)
POST: I started dating my boyfriend about 4.5 years ago. He is my first serious boyfriend, and I am his second serious girlfriend. We dated for about a year and a half and were very happy together throughout. Then he met another girl. I had bad feelings about the vibe I was getting from them, and after getting to know each other, they clearly had something going on. We broke up for about a month while they were spending time together. During this break, we were keeping contact throughout. They spent time together but things didn't get intensely physical--no sex was had. It ended up that it didn't work out between the two of them, and he still had feelings for me, so we immediately got back together after that month of hell. We have now been dating for another 2.5 or so years with no breaks. We generally are happy together and have a lot of similar interests, but I find that my emotions from the past often flair up...when I think about the time they spent together, I lose all feelings of closeness towards him and get angry about the events that occurred and how I handled them. I sometimes have times where I can't get the thought of him and her out of my head. These feelings were more intense immediately after we got back together, but they are still bothering me to this day. I want to continue to have a loving relationship with him, but if I can't let the past go, is there a future between us?
TL;DR: | Long-term boyfriend hurt my feelings in the past and it is affecting my relationship to this day, how to move beyond it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Puppy biting and going crazy! Help!
POST: So I just adopted a 12-week old beagle puppy and know very little about its history. I have been working him hard on walks, training, ect and thought I have never directly raised such a young dog before I think he is doing exceptionally well so far. However, he does bite when he is excited and for the past two days at about noon he seems to go into a hyperactive mouthing frenzy. I have tried EVERYTHING to correct this behavior and I am at a loss. I pinned him down today to stop him from biting my mother, and I feel absolutely horrible about it. I have tried yelping when he bites to hard, he starts to nibble but resumes biting hard soon after. I have tried ignoring him when he bites, he just assumes some other naughty behavior. I have exercised him to exhaustion, he calms down but inevitably gets riled up by the cat or some other external force. I really don't want him to be fearful of me or anyone else, and I don't know how to react when he is in these frenzied fits.
TL;DR: | puppy biting and I pinned him because nothing else seems to work. I have read this is not a good tactic and I need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: 12 year old still throwing temper tantrums?
POST: I'm not sure if this is the right place, but I'm desperate.
My younger brother [12] has been getting into a lot of trouble at school and is all around being a terror. I'm in my 20s away at college, so I'm not around that often, and our mother is a single parent (though she gets a lot of help from my grandparents). I know this isn't "normal teenage" behavior and I'm desperate for some advice.
All he does all day is play video games, this I know isn't that far from normal. The last few months, his grades have been slipping, so an hour a day time limit was placed on the game systems. Today, when I wouldn't give him the password so he could play longer (I had already given him a 15 minute extension to save the game) he threw a temper tantrum. Not just being upset and crying, an actual temper tantrum. He started screaming and crying and pounding his fists on the floor and hitting his head like a 5 year old. All because he misjudged the time he had left and I wouldn't give him anymore. This behavior is NOT acceptable. This isn't the first time something like this has happened either.
I'm trying my best to fix his behavior, telling him no at appropriate times, but he just cries and has a fit. I'm meeting a lot of resistance from the rest of my family with the issue, as they see no problem with his behavior and rarely punish him.
Any advice as to what I can do as an older sister to help fix his behavior?
TL;DR: | 12 year old boy throws multiple temper tantrums over meaningless things, older sister is sick of it and doesn't know what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My VGA Output in my computer is broken, what do I do?
POST: I have a laptop(I'm on it now) but that's my gaming computer, and I just bought more parts for it, then the VGA part in it literally FALLS OFF inside the computer, I can't solder it back on and I bought VGA USB cable, before shortly realizing it's to connect a secondary monitor to a laptop, which I have no need for. I've sold some things on ebay to amass enough money to buy a new video card, but in the mean time, until the money is actually available to use to my discretion, is there a temporary way to see what's going on on my computer?
TL;DR: | VGA Slot inside computer broke, any ways to temporarily show whats on my computer, or fix it without soldering? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my GF [30 F] have been together for a year but, I'm not feeling comfortable.
POST: I've been in plenty of medium term relationships (1 to 2 years). Many of them have ended mutually and others not so well, which I guess if normal. I met my current GF [30 F] at a job I was working last year and we clicked almost instantly. She is Cuban and I am American so things we spicy to say the least. We are definitely in love. The sex is amazing and we understand each other perfectly the majority of the time. She is the sweetest and most hard working woman I have ever met. She never ceases to amaze me even when she fears failure. Despite all of this I think there is a problem with me.
This if very difficult for me to explain so, I will try my best.
I want more sex. From different women. Frequently. It's like an itch I can't scratch. I'm always very curious about what is out there and a pit in my stomach tells me that these feelings are VERY wrong.
These urges are so strong I start feeling uncomfortable with myself because, I feel like I'm a bad person for something I cannot help but feel. I fantasize about having sex with no one in particular however, even just the slightest thought of someone else's body other than hers and I feeling feverish.
I want to stress to you ladies and gentlemen that I have not cheated in my relationship but, I also wnat to stress that I don't feel immune to it either.
What is wrong with me? Why am I feeling this way? Is there something wrong with me or the relationship?
TL;DR: | M [22M] with GF [30F] for a year. I want sex from other women but, I'm not sure that the way I feel is right. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [18F] of ten months is breaking up with me [21M] because I can't come visit.
POST: My girlfriend of 10 months and I are currently in different states for summer but during the school year, we spend every day together.
I am moving across the country in 3 weeks and she still has 3 more years of college left. We're going to try long distance and make it work.
But before that we had been planning a weekend, this upcoming one, in VA.
But last Friday I had to rush my mom to the hospital for emergency kidney stone removal. They couldn't get any on the left side so they have to go back next weekend to get those.
Because I feel I should be here for my mom during and after her surgery, I can't go to VA.
And my girlfriend doesn't seem to understand that I need to put my family first. She's threatening to break up with me because she spent a very long time scheduling the weekend (we were going to celebrate my birthday).
We have had a history of trying to make plans, then my mom guilt tripping me for leaving or not being there for her (she's suffering from depression), but I've always actually gone in the end. Even if I was made to feel guilty prior.
I just don't know what to do now and I'd like some thoughts from others to help me rationalize what I should do. Thanks!
TL;DR: | My girlfriend wants to break up because I cannot come to VA because I have to take care of my mom after her surgery. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] literally have no friends after leaving all my friends to get sober. But that was a year and a half ago.
POST: Long story short; in high school I started smoking weed, and by my senior year I switched to a continuation high school (4 hour days, no homework) to be with my friends that all switched there/got expelled to there. I was smoking $20-$40 worth of weed a DAY (stealing from my moms purse to pay for it). I stopped going to school or if I did I would just sit there and do nothing. After trying and failing to quit a few times, I realized I would have to make a complete life change. I couldn't keep hanging out with my friends that would just sit around and smoke weed all day every day. So, I stopped hanging out with them, and actually ended up graduating early.
At that point though, I had pushed away all my sober friends and so I had zero friends at all. It didn't bother me so much because I had plans to join the military, and decided to just make a fresh start there. Another long story short though, that didn't pan out. (I ended up having 5 surgeries in the past year). So, here I am, a 19 Y/O male, who has no friends, isn't going to college (and no plans to. Don't try to convince me to go, I'm not. I have other plans for a career), isn't going to the military, and currently works a job that is filled with other stoners. Don't get me wrong, I get along great with people at my work and elsewhere, it's not like I'm socially incompetent (at least not completely!) but I just don't know where to start building a friend circle again.
TL;DR: | Left group of druggies to be sober. Left me friendless. Plans to join the military failed. Not going to college. So I'm not in an environment to easily make friends. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 F] am still unable to accept my three [24 M | 24 F | 23 M] half-siblings.
POST: Early in my parents marriage my father began having affairs.
I was born about a year into their marriage, and three half siblings shortly followed. I met one while I was in kindercare and that half-sibling has pretty much been a constant in my life since. I didn't meet the other two until four years ago.
I've always put on a nice face in regards to them, as I HATE hurting feelings, but I can't seem to accept ANY of my half siblings. My parents are still married and even had two more kids together but I see how my father's infidelity has affected my mother even as she tries to take the high road, she's mentioned it enough in my lifetime for me to know it bothers her more than she lets on. For me, my half siblings are like a living reminder of both my mother's hurt, and ESPECIALLY my father's infidelity. My dad is always getting us all together for events as if we're one happy, *normal* family and I am tired of it.
I've spoken to therapists about this to no avail. I don't hate my half-siblings but If I could cut all contact without looking like an a-hole I would, I'm in fact actively looking for a way to do that.
Am I wrong for feeling this way after all this time?
TL;DR: | Years into adulthood, I still can't accept my three half-siblings resulting from my father's infidelity. I feel guilty because they aren't responsible here, but would still like to sever contact. Understandable? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 27m. My mum died suddenly yesterday. Everything's moving so fast. Should I approach friends to invite them to the funeral, and if so, how?
POST: Throwaway as some people know me on my main account, I'd rather keep this a little more private.
I think I'm feeling the way they always say you will feel when a parent dies - lost, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, functioning, but with occasional lightening bolts of despair that sneak up without warning. Everything was normal yesterday morning - she gave me a lift into town as I had an exam. Apparently she was feeling tired and weak so she went to lie down in the bedroom, my dad went downstairs to fetch something for her, and all of a sudden he heard a thump. He found her unconscious on the floor. Paramedics were unsuccessful. I had left my phone at home, so I arrived to find the extended family gathered. My dad broke the news. Her sisters and brothers are being really excellent, they are advising and arranging everything, being careful that my dad, my sister and I have the final call on things. The funeral is this Saturday morning.
I'm posting here to ask: how do I tell people I know? I texted my flatmate who is a coworker, he and my other colleagues have been great, they're offering to cover me for as long as I need and my employer has given me some compassionate leave. The death announcement went online today and will be in the paper tomorrow. Do I invite friends? I'm an introvert and a fairly private person; I'm a year out of college and had a sort of falling out with some of my friends from that time, but there are some other people whom I still see once every couple of months, some of whom met my mum briefly. I'm pretty sure none of them know. My sister will have a good few of her school and work friends supporting her at the funeral. Should I call people up, send a text message etc? Should I leave it for people to see the newspaper tomorrow? I don't know how to go about it.
TL;DR: | Mum died yesterday, family really helping. I'm your stereotypical INTJ who doesn't know how to deal with feelings. How do I go about telling my friends, or inviting them to the funeral? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: GF (19F) broke up with me (20M) less than a week ago after dating for 6 months and begging for me to take her back. Looking for opinions
POST: Basically as the title states we were dating for a period since the Fall semester and recently she ended it. Now we had our fights occasionally but things were starting to look up when this happened. The only thing is she ended it so abruptly, without any hesitation. We were drinking at her dorm and she tries saying it was the alcohol but being drunk and doing something isn't something I would accept as an excuse.
It was a minor fight, voices weren't even being raised and then suddenly she just drops a "we're over" and storms out of the room without any explanation or any real provocation. She then texts me not an hour later saying she's coming to get her stuff the next day. All in all it was a cold breakup in my opinion.
However, now she's pretty much begging me to give her another chance. My major concern is if she could do it once so out of nowhere and cold she could pull it again. But I do really like this girl and I'm starting to feel terrible not giving her a second chance but at this point it's just a mess trying to figure out what the best thing to do is.
I honestly don't know what I expect out of this post but it feels good to just vent and any outside opinions are appreciated.
TL;DR: | gf of 6 months ends it suddenly, very coldly, blames alcohol and begs me to take her back. Wat do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My SO (19/f) just cut all contact from me (29/m)
POST: My SO and I have been together for about 6 weeks. No it hasn't been long, but that's besides the point. Last night we were at a small get together having a few drinks, when she randomly took my phone and started reading through my text messages (no this never happens. We actually agreed we would never do that to each other). She saw my ex texted me asking for her stuff back, and I said I would give it back to her. This happened a little around a month ago when we first started dating, and I haven't spoken to her since. She freaked out and told me to get away from her, and left.
A little off, but I also hooked up with two of her friends in the past, and she says she can't handle knowing I did this. It happened much before her and I were ever a thing. She told me "I know you're a good person. I'm just fucked." And that's the last I heard from her. She changed her relationship status on Facebook to single, and never even told me a thing. Am I wrong in this situation? Is there anything I should or shouldn't be doing?
TL;DR: | my SO cut all contact with me in the past 24 hours, changed her relationship status to single without talking to me first, and I still haven't heard from her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Im (21M) in a weird "relationship" with this guy (20M) but have the option for a gay threesome.
POST: Alright so I've been invited to have a threesome with gay couple I'm friends with (25M and 24M) but I am in this weird relationship with this guy sort of. I met him online and its just been hard to schedule anything. we officially dated for about a month before his schedule really made it too hard. We text and stuff every day but I just feel like he's losing interest. My question is if we aren't actually dating or anything should I have this threesome? Should I break it off with this guy? I feel like he takes me for granted sometimes and he hurts me (emotionally. He's not capable of hurting me physically lol, I'm a head taller than him :P)
TL;DR: | ! The opportunity to have a gay threesome but in a weird relationship with this guy. Should I do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [23/M] think my (22/F) is texting a friend of mine.
POST: Hey reddit, i found out that my girlfriend as feelings for a friend of mine, they talked alot on skype and she said the like him and he said the same. I confronted my girlfriend about this and she said she will stop talking to him, this was 3 weeks ago, a 1 week ago i found that my girlfriend still talked to him in a video game chat (league of legends), and again i confronted, know i think she still talk to him in the Viber app, hes is online when shes talking with me and when she goes to sleep he gets offline, i recently found that she installed the app because i saw it on her cellphone (she install and desintall). She said she loves me and say that dont talk to him but i just dont beliave it any more, if she still talks to him she know that i will break up with her. i Dont know what to do, i hate feeling like this.
Sorry my english is very bad.
TL;DR: | Caught my GF talk to other guy ( saying that likes him) 2 times, still think she talks to him on viber. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My step-father (52) is cosigning a loan for my sister's (28) wedding, my mom (45) and I (M 19) are strongly against it.
POST: Just a few minutes ago, my mother had a conversation with me about some financial issues with my sister's upcoming wedding. Here's some background knowledge: my sister, let's call her Susan, works on a farm; her fiance, Nick, is in a small time band. To put it bluntly, they are a pretty poor couple, and they have difficulty keeping up with basic necessities. To make matters worse, financially, they have a baby on the way.
My step-father agreed to cosign a loan for $250,000 to purchase a house. This is not a downpayment, this is for the entire mortgage. From what I understand, my parents will be stuck with the entire mortgage if my sister cannot pay for it (and she won't be able to pay for it).
This was all without my mother's knowledge, and she is losing her mind. She doesn't want to go to the wedding now and she's getting a marriage counselor. She is trying to come up with some other way to work this out, any way she doesn't have to cosign a loan.
My step-father will not back down since Susan claims to have found their "dream house" and it is "perfect for their new family". The thing is that they can't get a loan to purchase a house because their credit is absolutely horrendous due to their lackluster history as debtors.
I really don't know how to resolve this. My mom and I had a really long conversation about what to do, since if my sister misses the payments we'll be screwed. I'm in school right now, and those payments are enough for my family to pay for.
Ultimately, I just want to be able to support my mom right now since I think my step-father is clearly in the wrong here. What's the best way to go about supporting her in this situation without alienating the whole family?
TL;DR: | Step-father about to cosign a massive loan for my sister's wedding without my mom's permission, and now my mom is losing her mind and threatening not to go to the wedding. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: If you could delete any memory from a past experience, what would it be?
POST: I'll start:
For me I would love to forget the drunk driving awareness assemble of my junior year of high school. Not for the content of the assembly but the Q and A session afterwards. When the firefighters asked if they had any questions the entire audience was silent so I decided that I would ask a question; I asked what is responsible for more deaths per year, texting while driving or drinking and driving.
When I was called upon I wanted to make sure that the firefighters understood that I knew both were extremely dangerous, and I would never do either. When he announced my question to the rest of the audience for some reason I kept repeating to him "No that's not what I asked, I know both are very dangerous and would never do either, but which is more dangerous?" and spent about a minute or so trying to explain to him how I wanted him to believe that I was a good kid would never do either. Everyone kept giving me looks like I was very stupid and it is one of those embarrassing memories I can't stop thinking about.
TL;DR: | I kept rephrasing the same question to a firefighter so I would sound . Everyone clearly understood what I was asking at an assembly making fun of myself in front of the entire school. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: [NSV] I ran 4 miles in 47.36 minutes!
POST: Hey LoseIt,
first of all --- Thank you for being an awesome community! I felt like I needed to share my little victory with someone today. I used to hate running, and by hate I mean really, really, really hate it. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to run... ever. Then something changed. I started losing weight back in February 2013 but only became serious about fitness this past fall. I started C25K in December, did it on and off; not really keeping a schedule. After about 2 weeks I eased into it and started enjoying jogging, but I felt bored. I still continued to jog through December, and the beginning of January and incorporated a couple of treadmill workouts from Blogilates (fitness youtuber). It was fun and challenging but I never went past 3 miles.
About two weeks ago I talked to a friend who runs and she told me she usually runs at least 4 miles when she does run, so I decided: next time I'm going, I want to do the same: run 4 miles, start out slow. My times weren't that great at first but I kept improving. Today, I did 4 miles in 47.36 minutes!!! This is definitely the best I've ever done, numbers wise.
Thanks for letting me share!!
TL;DR: | I used to hate running, picked it up in December, and ran 4 miles today and was under 12 mins per mile! |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Help with a constipated newborn kitten
POST: I just took on the responsibility of raising an abandoned kitten my dad found outside his home, as I have a lot of previous experience raising and bottle-feeding newborns. The kitten was, according to him, abandoned for a few days before I got him. This is the third day I've had him, and he seems mostly healthy from what I can tell, except for his constipation. His stools are abnormally hard for a kitten and he is in obvious pain when he strains to get them out. The process of helping him defecate takes forever. I've already reformulated what I'm feeding him to have more water in it, as per what I've found through research of other cat fosterers, but that doesn't help the fact that he's in pain right now. Is there anything I can do to help him pass his stool easier? I'm very worried about him.
TL;DR: | less-than-week-old kitten has hard, painful stools, how can I help aside from watering down formula? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'd [25M] like my girlfriend [27F] to start excercising
POST: So my girlfriend (66kg) and I (58kg) have been dating for 1.5 years. We do not live together. We have great sex, cook for ourselves, have jobs that we're relatively happy with. We're mildly active, we go on road trips, walk around town, stuff that doesn't require strenuous exercise. I can see myself getting married to this wonderful woman and we've even talked about it.
I was fortunate enough during my childhood to be able to do various (almost all) forms of sports and activities.
Her on the other hand, she simply didn't have any interest in it or just never had the opportunity to do the same kind of things I did.
In the future, when we move and live together I'd like to be able to go bicycling around town, go on hikes, ski, play tennis, etc together, as a family.
She's not exactly "in shape" so to say. I find her attractive in every way possible but the fact that I won't be able to do those things is what makes me sad/ponder about this relationship. She knows she is slightly over weight and would like to shave several kilos.
She gets tired pretty easily and doesn't have the best diet. When she has a stressful day or too tired to cook for herself (which is quite often), she buys fast food. She always has snacks at home and probably doesn't go a day where she doesn't snack. She eats biscuits for breakfast.
She's been cooking for herself everyday for the past week though!
All in all this worries me and I don't know how to go about it.
How am I to keep encouraging her to eat healthy?
How exactly do I go about praising her when she's making healthy options?
What can I do to help?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has an unhealthy diet and doesn't exercise. I'd like to be able to do active stuff with her in the future. What can I do to help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: reddit, i need your help
POST: Hey there reddit. My super cool english teacher decided to let us do a fun satire/parody project for our candide unit. The rest of my classmates quickly stole ragecomics and memes, so I decided to stretch the assignment and create some submissions on thatssotrue.com that referenced our school. Last night i created seven submissions and copy and pasted the permalinks to turn in. However, when i tried to revisit these links today i ran into a 'sorry, the submission you are looking for does not exist' page. I decided to moderate posts for a bit and came across one of mine when i compared the link to my old one (that did not work) they appeared identical. Anyways i was hoping someone here with more technical knowledge could help me retreive, or at least understand how i lost my posts. My assignment is due at 1:30 tomorrow, wed Apr 25, so i dont have much time.
TL;DR: | tried to retreive some posts from thatssotrue.com, website couldnt find them, stumbled across one of the "nonexistant" posts and found the link was identical to the non working one |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My gf [23f] and my [25m] views on the world are entirely different. Will we work?
POST: We've been pretty successful so far, the past 6 months. Problem is, people refer to us as House and Cameron. I see the world as gray...I question everyone's actions and consider everyone to have an ulterior motive. She sees the world as being nice, everyone's intentions are innocent and good, and everyone's wholesome. Lately, this has caused some...questions between us.
Example 1: A guy in her class asks her to lunch, and she's excited to meet a new friend. He continues to ask her to lunch/coffee, I'm pretty certain he's asking her out, she thinks he's just being nice and assumes he's just being a good friend.
Example 2: A guy she had a history with calls to catch up. They talk, and he wants to grab coffee. They do, and he now calls regularly, and I get the inkling that he has an ulterior motive. She thinks that they can go back to being friends.
Example 3: We see a homeless person on the side of the road. He asks for some change to feed his kids. I immediately remember that he was here last week asking the same thing. I think he's probably going to go get some booze/drugs, and she thinks that he deserves a chance, so she gives him a few bucks.
The #3 example doesn't bother me as much as #1 and 2 do. We talk about every issue that comes up, but now it's just getting a little tiring. What to do?
TL;DR: | gf is optimistic and sees the world as a happy place, everyone is nice. I see the world as a dark place, where people are generally not that great. Will we work? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Can my ex take 'our' dog away from me?
POST: I've already posted this in r/relationships, but since dog related thought I would try here as well.
We were together 3 years, recently broken up for the third and final time, and he's made it well known that -he- would be taking the dog.
Now I would understand under other circumstances that -if it was before we were together - he would obviously take the dog. But, I gave him 800 $ for the dog, the dog was 775 $ so it did more than pay for him. I put in the effort for training, and exercising the dog. I've bought him all he needs toy/treat wise to keep him busy during the day. Kept the yard clean, maintained his nails and coat. Though my ex was there for some of it, the most he did during this time was take him for an off leash run every 3-5 months, pay for food (which was like pulling teeth, getting him to go 'out of his way'), and vet visits.
I'm the one that the dog listens to the most, the one he gravitates towards (besides my Father, who spoils him), and the one who has
the best chance of keeping him happy through this change.
I'm INCREDIBLY fearful my ex will leave him in a crate all day, won't be able to keep up with his high energy, and my boy will be neglected. I can easily see him being pushed aside for my ex's needs and becoming very destructive/angry.
I don't know what to do to convince/persuade my ex to leave him here with me. I've told him I will let him come get him for a visit when he wasn't working, and that I wouldn't try and keep him from him. To which his response was, 'I'm not treating the dog like a divorce child.'
I really don't want to lose my best friend because we couldn't work out our problems. I really feel as if my ex only wants him to hurt me, and I have no idea what to do.
Sorry for any typos, alternating crying and having my dog try to lick my face.
[A picture of him and I a month or so ago.](
TL;DR: | My ex wants to take 'our' dog, despite the fact that I put in the effort to train him, kept him healthy/happy, and paid for him. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: An aquaintence of mine explicitly told me that he was being abused by his boyfriend, as far as I can tell on facebook, they are still together. I need advice as to whether or not I should try to intervene more...
POST: I believe they are 21/M(abused) and 40's/M(the abuser).
This guy is a closer friend to my housemate, but she's been out of town, and the other night he called me asking if he could store some of his stuff at our house, because he was moving out of his boyfriend's place since he "beats him up." I told him that of course he could, he said he'd call me back when he could get a ride to my house. I never heard back from him, despite texting him and messaging him on facebook.
Today his boyfriend posted this on my friend's facebook:
"I love you and know you love me too.... If you want me to proove it I will scream it to the world. Are you ready...if so give me your ear so I can whisper it in there...you see cause you are my world."
I've been in an abusive situation before, and I know that I can help him get out of this, but it seems that he may not want the help. Should I persist in trying to get him to leave his boyfriend?
TL;DR: | Friend is in an abusive relationship and has reached out to me for help, but is now refusing to reply to me. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Getting first apartment
POST: hey PF!
Well, my girlfriend and I have decided to get our own apartment next may. Now everything seems to be all good, but a few things concern me. A little background first:
We're both 19 years old, been dating for 5 years and have lived together for two years until she moved to uni. I am currently living at home going to community college and bring home about $600 a week after taxes. The only bill I have is $40 a month, so I can save the majority of my money.
Next may, I'm transferring down to uni with my gf to finish college and we plan on getting a apartment together. She has a job, but it doesn't bring home much money. She does get about $3000 back a semester from college though. By the time may rolls around I'll have over 10k in my bank account. The problem is, when applying for apartments, I'm concerned no one will accept us because I won't have employment in that town until I move as I'll have to find another job. (But i'll have money to pay months worth of rent). Do you think We'll have trouble getting accepted into a apartment? The one's we're looking at are about $430 a month.
TL;DR: | moving next year, I have money for rent, but worried about not getting accepted into apartment because I will have no employment status. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: i [16M] have been going out with my girlfriend[17F]. she cheated with her friends boyfriend[18M] me and the friend[18F] found out and she wants revenge
POST: so ive been with my girlfriend for over one year and she has the really close friend that has been with a guy for 2 years, me and her friend (we'll call sarah) just found out that my girlfriend and her boyfriend(we'll call dave) cheated on us together. i knew sarah for a very long time and have always liked her very much. sarah has said before that she shared them feeling for me.
now that we know theyve cheated she wants to break up with him and get with me i dont know if i should take her up on it because i might feel like a rebound or somone just to get back at them but i dont really want to say no to something ive wanted for a very long time, what should i do?
TL;DR: | gf cheated with her friends bf, friend wants revenge and wants to get with me, dont know what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I think my friend has some sort of mental illness.
POST: I love her, dearly. It's always fun to be with her and she is super cute, but the more I listen to her, the more I think she really needs help of some sort - I think she is deeply addicted to some sort of male attention?
She has a boyfriend - another friend of mine - she doesn't love, but he doesn't want her to leave. So she stays. But at the same time whenever we talk, she has found a new soulmate - someone unlike anyone she's ever met before, someone she's deeply bonded with. She always falls in love with them and it's so cute how she talks about them. Her boyfriend hates her talking to other guys (I think secretly he knows), but he's in utter denial and he told me to "stay out of his relationship business forever", so I'm respecting his wishes.
It never works out with those guys (who don't know she's got a boyfriend) for whatever reason, be it they live far away or have/get girlfriends of their own, and immediately, one or two days after "it's over" she has talked to and fallen for another boy. In those phases there is nothing, absolutely nothing we talk about but how much in love she is with those guys, how perfect they are to each other.
I've told her that it sounds a little off, every new boy being "the truly most amazing person she's ever met", but she said, she just laughed about it and then told me she was uncomfortable when I started to steer the conversation to a more serious tone again.
Should I try and talk to her again? Should I leave it alone? Is it common and I'm just a weird person who doesn't fall in love with people? I'm just worried that she's putting her own self so much aside, or that she feels like she can't be without someone who loves or adores her.
TL;DR: | Friend "chain-falls" for guys, in two years she has been utterly in love the entire time with different people. Is this medically worrying? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [26M] bestfriend [27M] has been bothering me since breaking up with his fiancee [24F]. How to proceed?
POST: Typing from a cell phone with a broken screen, sorry for any typos.
My bestfriend and his fiancee recently broke up. There was constant fighting between the two of them over the past 6 months where I tried to be of help to them both. I never picked a side, but it became very clear that he was emotionally abusing her. After their last fight before the breakup, I told them both that I would not be supporting their relationship any longer.
Now that things are over between them, it appears she has gone no contact. He has gone very public with it on Facebook, saying how he doesn't understand what happened and creating lies to make people think he is innocent. This has really been bothering me but I haven't dared to say anything to him in fear that he'll get upset with me.
Just yesterday he has started prying me with questions about if and what his ex and I have been talking about. I told him the truth (the ex and I have talked about half a dozen times, once about their relationship in particular and how shitty breakups can be), which I am starting to regret. He continued to ask me questions and I stopped the conversation telling him that he knows a whole lot more than I do on the situation.
Today my bestfriend has messaged me twice and I have not replied. First he asked me if his ex was online, then if I could forward a message to her (no idea what he wants me to say as I haven't gone into the messenger app to mark them as read for him to see). I do not want to be his messenger or spy, this makes me feel extremely awkward.
How can I politely tell him to back off. I usually react to things like this in a negative way but I don't want to upset him. Over the past month I have also been feeling a lot of resentment towards him over his actions during/after the relationship and have a hard time spending time with him. Am I over reacting?
TL;DR: | Bestfriend is trying to get me to talk to his ex-fiancee for him. How do I tell him politely that I am uncomfortable doing so and stop asking awkward questions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My husband (30/M) feels disrespected by my (30/F) friendship with his friend (27/M)
POST: Had a pretty long talk with my husband last night, about how I make him feel disrespected in our relationship. Part of this is my tone of voice sometimes -- which I can work on but will need help with because honestly sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it --- but another part is that we don't always see eye to eye and generally, I do what I want.
One of his best friends from high school has always been a big part of our lives. He and I hang out with my husband but also alone sometimes. We are collaborating on a project together. We are friends and have our own relationship seperate from what he and my husband have. We didn't always like each other, but we've come around and I genuinely enjoy spending time with him, in a group setting and also one-on-one. We have gotten close and he is one of those people I will call if I need to talk to someone, especially since my husband works really long hours and isn't much of a talker anyway.
All that being said: there is definitely NO attraction on my end, and I don't believe there is any on his end. We are not each other's "type", we know way too much about each other, we have a real sibling kind of dynamic. The thought of us hooking up -- even if my husband was not in the picture -- is pretty revolting to me.
Well, last night my husband made it clear that he needs me to stop hanging out with this friend. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my marriage, and I get why it would initially make him uncomfortable, but the idea that this is somehow my issue and not his, and I need to change my behavior/stop working on this project/find another friend and confidante is really weighing on me. How can I preserve my marriage AND this friendship? Can I?
TL;DR: | My husband dislikes the friendship I have with one of his male friends; should I try to make him see how much it means to me or just accept it and end the friendship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with [21 M]; how to break up if we're not really together?
POST: Met a nice guy on tinder; we're both at the same college, and have been casually dating for about 2 months. We see each other about once a week, cinema/cook together etc., text a bit in between, and we've slept together. However, we've not had a conversation about exclusivity or about being in a relationship, though neither of us have mentioned seeing other people, and I don't think he is.
He seems quite keen and often initiates meeting up - the issue is that, whilst he is a nice guy, I'm just not feeling much connection or like we'd be a good fit for each other. I've decided I want to break things off, but I'm not sure how to without feeling presumptuous about what's going on - if I do it in person I don't want to imply that I thought there was more commitment than there was and make it awkward, but if he does see us as properly dating then over text/fbk seems a bit cowardly? Not sure on the etiquette for this?
TL;DR: | seeing guy for 2 months, ~8 dates (cinema, cooking, staying over), but not "officially" together or exclusive. How do I break things off? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is your best "Stick it to the Man" moment?
POST: Mine is from sophomore year of college. My roommates and I had a microbrew tasting party which was attended only by people from our dorm or on campus. We probably had 30 people total, and even though no one was driving, we had a couple sober people who offered to drive anyone if they needed a ride. By random chance, an RA caught us while she was stopping by a friend's room next door and someone from my apartment opened the door at the precise moment that she walked by. There was no noise complaint or anything like that.
All of the people who lived in the apartment were forced to pay to take an online course about safe drinking as well as meet with a counselor to talk about safe drinking. After looking over the course outline, I began to realize that every single thing that was highlighted as a safe drinking practice was something that we had implemented at the party. No one drove and we had sober people there anyway. Also, we only had a few beers per person, so no one was even able to drink excessively.
I wrote a letter to the dean of student housing, essentially saying that it was ludicrous for us to carry out the punishment, because the punishment would essentially be reinforcing all of the behavior that we were being punished for. He asked to meet with me. I came in and said "Sir, having us take a class on safe drinking as punishment for drinking safely is like punishing a thief by forcing him to take a class on how to steal stuff. No disrespect, but it literally makes no sense at all." He looked at me for a couple seconds and then said "Ok, I really cant argue with that, just write a paper about the dangers of alcohol and we'll call it good."
TL;DR: | Got caught drinking safely on campus (no one drove, we weren't drinking much). Punishment was to take a paid course on safe drinking. Met with dean of housing, got out of it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (F-32) SO (M-33) thinks it's "creepy" that I have to take anti-depressants.
POST: I suffer from depression and have for a very, very long time. I take anti-depressants which have really helped balance me out and bring me into a better frame of mind.
The situation I am facing now is that my SO of four years is pushing for me to stop taking my medication (Celexa). He is incredibly difficult to talk to regarding depression, and he doesn't truly understand the depths that true depression can take you to. I haven't told him that celexa has literally saved my life, and sadly I know he won't make any effort to try to understand and that his level of comprehension on the issue is so incredibly low that this is seemingly becoming an insurmountable problem.
His general attitude and response to me taking anti-depressants is that "it's creepy" and "everyone suffers from depression" - he completely blows me off when I am on the edge of tears trying to relay how real and serious my depression is. I don't want to say he's a dick about it, but he's a dick about it.
I want to know if there is some way that I can explain depression to him so that he will understand and have a little sympathy for my condition. He makes me feel ashamed of what I cannot control and the lack of support is really quite alienating and bothersome to me. Depression has really impacted my life and I feel that if I can't share this with him, there is really no point to even really trying.
I don't want to have to live in silence and shame because he thinks depression is "creepy". How can I get him to understand what I am going through in a way that a MAN'S MAN can comprehend? I'm tired of having to defend my illness like it's my chosen political party or religion. I don't want to dump him or break up with him, I just want him to understand and have some sympathy.
TL;DR: | SO doesn't believe in depression, thinks anti-depressants are stupid - but he's involved with a woman who suffers from depression and takes anti-depressants. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25M] want to know if other girls are like my girlfriend [23F] when it comes to touching in bed
POST: I guess I'm specifically asking the girls:
1. How do you like him to touch you? Do you like him aggressive and groping you constantly, or do you like slow rubs? In between?
2. How do you touch him? My girlfriend loves doing slow rubs and runs her fingernails up and down my back and i love it.
3. I love to feel her up quite heavily and grope her butt and boobs and thighs a lot, as opposed to her slow sensual feels on me. Is it possible for my girlfriend, who likes to do slow rubs and caresses to me, to enjoy my rougher handling of her?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend touches me slow and sensual while i grope her and feel her up pretty fast. Does it work well for her or no? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I[21M] control and stop my possessive and needy behavior? Especially in regards to my [20F] friend.
POST: I(21M) asked my friend and coworker(20F) of about a year out around 3 months ago. Initially she told me that she liked me too, but she told me a week later that she wasn't ready for that kind of relationship because of her past relationship that she had only gotten out of around 4 months ago at that time. That relationship for her was really bad and her ex put a lot of bad things on her, was possessive, and kind of ruined her life. I also got the sense that my friend also figured out that she only saw me as a friend and didn't actually like me how I liked her.
The next month sucked, I had never felt so bad in my life. I realized that I just wanted her to be in my life in some way even if it wasn't romantically. I decided that I would try to be friends with her again and in August I think things got better. We were talking, and Snap Chatting again and acting like friends. Then September came and she started to ignore me, she wouldn't talk to me, seek me out at all, and I couldn't make her laugh or smile anymore. I've been crushed by this because I thought we were good friends, but it hurts knowing that someone that you admire doesn't have that same admiration for you.
I've started getting help for depression, seeing a therapist and taking anti depressants, so I think I will recover from that. But going forward I talked to our mutual friends and I found out that I had been perusing her too much. And because of how bad her previous relationship was she doesn't want to have possessive people in her life. I know that I had put her in an uncomfortable position, and I have my doubts about saving my friendship with her. But I do not want to live as a possessive needy person. I feel bad for how I made her feel and I don't want that anymore. We still work together so I need to be a more well adjusted considerate person.
TL;DR: | My possessive and needy behavior has ruined my friendship with a girl, and I need help figuring out how to stop the behavior because we still work together and I want to be a better person. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: It's my best friend.Please see carefully who is true friend or not
POST: I am Adrienne J.Hurt,29 years old.The day I got engaged,I called my best friend to come to my wedding party,she said of course.And I'm live in GA ,she is living in TX.Actually,my betrothal was decided in last year,so I told her at first,and she gave me a sure answer.That was six months ago I have heard nothing from her .Whatever I gave her a call or sent messages or email,even the email about bridesmaid's gown,she gave no responds. And she never ask me what she is supposed to wear.You know,I got three bridesmaids in Texas ,the other two did not know which clothes were satisfied.They always called me for help.And one even flew to me .For me,the distant is not the question,and before the wedding is now less three months .The key is that she constantly update the state on facebook ,and I received the messages about her was playing stupid games 20 times a day.But she did not have time to pick my phone ,I called her three times last week.If she really disappeared in social media,maybe I would not be so upset.
TL;DR: | How long should I give her before?What should I really do if she still keeps silence?I never meet this before. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by pretending I was drinking a beer on my way home.
POST: In my area (Houston, TX) there is a talk radio host (Michael Berry) that advocates that "A grown ass man or a lesbian woman" should be able to pop a top on the drive home on Friday. He even has paid the open container ticket of several of his listeners. So just for fun, I got an empty Budweiser bottle from the recycle and filled it with Monster. When he rolled his pop a top segment, I began holding it up and cheering at every car that came by. It was really funny to see some of the people's reactions (I'm underage so that made it worse) I was having fun being a dumb ass until I cheered a passing cop on accident. I froze in mid cheer with my fake beer still held aloft like a banner and literally my whole present became one giant
"Ohhhhhhhhhh Shiiiitttt."
Then, the expected quick U-turn and lights go off behind me.
I get out my ID and prepare my story, the cop walks up and I open my mouth to give him the nonchalant, suave story i had been cooking up and this is what I said "It's not really beer, here, try some"
)__(
He stared at me for a second and I launched into a explanation about how I was doing it for a prank and I had never gotten a ticket before and please please please don't call my parents (the usual shit)
He finally took the bottle and told me to never do something that stupid again.
He drove off and I literally sat in shock for 10 minutes before driving off.
TD;LR: (I'm glad everyone got a good laugh out of my
TL;DR: | mess up :P) I filled a beer bottle with monster and cheered people on my drive home. Cheered a cop, got pulled over, Let off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17M] with my GF [17F] 4 months, broke up after she got angry, when I told her If I didn't message her she wouldn't message me. (PS: English isn't my native language, If there are any errors, please forgive me)
POST: This last late Sunday I told my gf If I didn't message her she wouldn't message me (I was in a bad mood), after that she got pretty angry and started saying that she didn't care at all in a sarcastic way. I was really sorry and told her because I didn't mean it, but she ignored me.
The next day (Monday) she decided to break up with me because she said that she had cried many times about nonsense and because of my bad mood. I tried to call her but she wouldn't answer.
On Monday night she told me she couldn't be without out me but she wasn't okay, she told me she was sad(probably meaning: disappointed with me), I told her I also couldn't be without her, and tried to get back with her, but she told me she needed some space. Up 'til that point she seemed sad and not angry during that night.
On Tuesday, I tried to talk to her, and tried to see If she wanted to meet up, but she said she was angry, and she was pretty rude with me when talking, so I gave up.
Since then I've not even tried to contact her, if she wants me back in her life, she has to make a move too. Even though, I want her back in my life, as this last four months have been the best months of my life. She is still in love with me, and I'm still in love with her. How can I fix this?
TL;DR: | GF broke up with me, is now really pissed, and I want her back in my life. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My[20/f] father [~60/m] punishes monetarily. Is this fair and how should I go about this?
POST: My dad doesn't know how else to punish me so he just takes money away from me. Mind you, I work for him so by "taking money away" it really just means I won't get paid.
Recently, my boyfriend went to my house to pick up something that I needed for school (my dad previously said he didn't want him on his property because he doesn't like him) and when my dad found out he said he'd take away $100. This is a full day of work that I'm doing for him and won't get paid for. I wouldn't be working for him if I didn't get paid. I need the money badly this month and the $100 seems like a lot to me. He has done this before where he doesn't like something and takes $100 as punishment.
Reasoning doesn't seem to work with him. He doesn't listen and even if he thought what he was doing wasn't right he still won't fix it. Personally, I think it's a pride thing.
TL;DR: | my dad punishes me by taking $100 of my money which means I work for him for free and that's apparently my punishment. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My best friend [M15] stopped being my best friend [M15]
POST: Hey
I have this best friend, both M by the way, who used to be like my brother. We would litteraly do everything together and we were really good friends and we would go on his boat and just chill and hangout everyday during the summer.
He was the one person who I could trust with most things and relate too.
A little after 10th grade, our little "group" we had kept teasing him and making fun of him about that he was put in this somewhat resource like class, where the work is just easier. He was constantly getting picked on and j never picked on him because A) Best friend and B) stupid reason to make fun of someone for.
After that, he kind of stopped hanging out with our group and even though I preferred to hang out with him and other people, he always left after school and never stayed around. I started talking to him less and I noticed he started hanging out with other people that wernt doing the best of choices. He started doing weed, basically every single day, other stuff and we barely even talked at that point. I'm not saying me and him didnt do stuff, but he was abusing it. We talk sometimes in one of the classes we have but other then that he basically ignores me.
It seems like he's forgotten who his best friend for so long has been and all the good memories. Just gone. This feels good to get off my chest and I do feel really bad about all this because I don't have anyone I wanna hangout with anymore and no one I can trust and chill with. He was the one person that I knew I could trust.
I really don't know what to do at this point. It's been almost half a year like this and it really sucks.
TL;DR: | best friend was my best friend, was made fun of by friends, started hanging out with other people, doesn't really talk to me that much. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: http://costofwar.com/en/ Why does nobody say anything about the cost of a war during an economic crisis?
POST: It's Shit loads of money and they go on about how they're gonna be cutting a few millions from education in derpsville and the price of food and gas and everything just goes up. I get that there's jobs from war that benefit the economy, and I get that there's a need for a badass looking army, but why do the big powers like US and UK feel the need to constantly be at war with someone somewhere just for the sake of it when it costs so much money that could make your society fucking own? I'll gladly change my views if there's a fair reasoning for it (:
TL;DR: | Why are we at wars that we don't need to be in when they're so fucking expensive? Please try to explain it to me! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (21,F) be supportive to my boyfriend (26, M) when he shares how his last relationship ended badly?
POST: My boyfriend (26 M) and I (21 F) have been together since January and have been officially dating for about two months. We have fallen into a really deep and wonderful kind of love, and I love how few walls we have up in our relationship. A couple days ago, his ex girlfriend texted him out of the blue to say that she had seen his mom around town, and then last night, he had a dream that she was in. Apparently, in his dream he was coming to visit me at school, and she came and picked him up from the airport. Then he and I would be spending time together and she would awkwardly be there and not saying anything. Eventually, she left, and he and I made love on the floor of his room very intimately for a long time, and that was how the dream ended.
Obviously, this ended up sparking some conversation about his old relationship. He and his ex broke up 3 years ago, but he hasn't had a serious relationship since then. I asked him about why they broke up, and he rehashed basically their entire five year relationship that was a series of breakups and subsequent makeups that were very painful, until she cheated on him.
It concerns me a little bit that he is still having dreams about his ex after three years, but I think it makes sense considering that I'm the first serious relationship he's been in since then. I just don't really know how to respond appropriately to him sharing this with me. Usually, if a friend told me this story I would just be like "well obviously she sucks." But I feel like as his new girlfriend, bashing his ex-girlfriend is pretty tactless. What is the best way to make him feel supported in this situation?
TL;DR: | my boyfriend had a really messy, painful relationship that he just explained to me. How do I respond to the news? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] Terrified of meeting Girlfriends [22 F] Family..
POST: Family as never played a huge role in my life, because I've never really had any. I was mentally and physically abused as a kid, so I have anxiety, self esteem issues.
I met a really nice girl who means the world to me, she wants me to meet her family and I keep backing out or making excuses because I feel as if I'm not good enough or that they won't like me. She told me her family keep asking to meet me and I'm terrified. I've spoke to her and been honest she knows about my anxiety, but she says she can't keep avoiding her family when with me, which is fair enough.
I don't know what to do? I really don't want to lose her, is it a case of man up ? Would really love some advice.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend wants me to meet her family, I don't think I'm good enough and I'm worried they will turn her against me. I am aware I have mental health issues. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Is she overreacting or am I not seeing the big picture? [29] M and F
POST: A few weeks back, this girl I have known for a few months came over to my place to play some music with me. I was somewhat innocent about it as I had never picked any signs from her. But well, it ended up happening and we had sex. Before we did, however, she made a big deal about that she's not looking for a relationship, and if I'm cool with nothing having anything serious, but just some sex fun.
I agreed, obviously, as I've recently come out of a relationship that I'm still hurting from, but hey, sex's always fun. Then we didn't see each other for a couple of weeks. In the meantime, I ran into a friend of hers who I always found quite hot, and asked her out. She turned me down (as far as I know, she never knew about me and the first girl), which I was fine with, no harm done.
Now earlier today she found out from that friend that I had asked her out, and she (the first girl) says she feels awkward about coming over again (we were trying to set up another sexy fun night). I told her I didn't see any reason to be awkward as nothing ever happened between me and her friend, and that she made a big point that we were never to be serious.
I'm obviously frustrated as I'm missing out on the sex here, but I've kept my cool about this. Still, I can't shake the feeling that she's overreacting here... So thought I'd ask you guys for any insight.
Sorry for the long post, I tend to be longwinded... Thanks!
TL;DR: | Girl and I start NSA sex relationship, but she backs out because I asked her friend out once (and got turned down) |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: My dad said he's calling the cops on me for 'online theft' need help
POST: I have an Amazon account before I lived with my dad and his credit card was attached to the account. Since then I have my own debit card and I pay for stuff myself, and I deleted his payment option off of my account so it's just my debit card on there.
Today he called me saying that I spent 99 dollars on his account and he wants the money back or else he's gonna "press charges" against me. I checked the payment options and it says that I paid under my account. Now he's threatening to call the base police (my mom is military) and say she stole from him.
I'm 17 years old and live in Louisiana.
TL;DR: | My dad got charged for something I bought myself (that's what he says at least) and now he wants to go to the police, help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [F/19] bf [M/20] doesn't understand the importance of networking
POST: We've been dating for a year.
We're college students at a big university. It's hard to get one-on-one time with professors, let alone be recognized by them.
I invite him to come to clubs with me (academic clubs like Physics club or Geology club), and he usually politely declines. Then I'll go, and afterwards he usually says things like "I get really lonely when you go out", which makes me feel guilty about going out at all - whether to network or for fun. I don't think he's intentionally making me feel guilty but it's not a nice feeling either.
What confuses me is that those are clubs related to his major, and are filled with interesting people.
The one time I brought my bf along to an event, he stayed by the wall and ate the free food the entire time. He didn't try to interact with any of the professors or grad students that were there, although he at least enjoyed the food and said he was glad he came (But it seemed it was for the food, not the people).
TL;DR: | What is my role as a girlfriend here? Should I drag him to events and introduce him to people, or do I continue inviting him and getting declined (except when there's free food to be had)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does anyone know the effects of Ritalin if you're Bipolar?
POST: Well... basically to explain the situation, i have a massive paper due in this monday, yet I'm extremely far behind (only 40% done).
So in order to help my concentration (as well being bipolar is never good for concentration) decided it would be great fun to take some Ritalin so i don't fail my degree. Although being the mug i am didn't really look into it, and now I'm experiencing an extreme amount of euphoria, my mind is buzzing and honestly I'm struggling to type this.
I think it has kind of back fired, i understand the science of the situation, i was just wondering if anyone had any experience with this sort of thing... whether it was a bad move, how long this feeling will last etc.
TL;DR: | Big report due for my degree, took some Ritalin, not really doing what i expected/ what i've been told. Any adive? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my SO [21 F] 3.5 years, Question for anyone who is in a non-monogamous/monogamish relationship.
POST: Recently, my SO and I have moved into developing a monogamish relationship, and I do have one question about developing a monogamish relationship. I would like to ask you how it was when you started into a monogamish relationship. I cheated on my girlfriend first, and I know that sex outside of a relationship doesn't have to mean anything. My partner and I have talked through everything and we are on the same page. However, when she tells me about encounters she has had, especially if the guy was good at sex, I will pull back hard emotionally for about an hour while we talk through it and eventually I do get over it and move on. I just want to know if you or your partner ever felt this way when developing a new relationship dynamic.
I don't want to react like this. I know that these encounters, she has, don't mean anything other than the physical fun to her or me. So why do I react like this when she brings it up? Is there some way I can improve this behavior, or will it naturally go away over time as we become more used to the idea of incorporating outside partners?
Thanks for any help!
TL;DR: | Developing a monogamish relationship with my SO. Even though we are on the same page and we both understand each other, I sometimes pull back emotionally when talking about encounters she has had. (Please read the post...) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not sure if it is good idea to get involved with this (32/m) guy... I'm (27/f) so tempted though...
POST: Personally I stay far away from guys who jump from women to women or have cheated on his women at some point. But... There's this one guy that I know.
He have never been secretive about the fact that he date multiple women and sleep around. But he never ever say who he is doing it with or anything and is very secretive about it. Also he's always very upstraight about it. He never beats around the bush or anything. But from what I have seen and heard, he's a lot of fun to be around as he have tons of stories, do many things, have a very exciting life, and is easy to talk to and overall a very sweet and nice person.
Anyway.... This guy just asked me if I want to do something this week. I am rather conflicted about this. On one hand, I'm really curious about him and he have been nothing but respectful and nice to me. But at the same time, I'm not too thrilled that he never really committed to anyone and is just all over the place.
Have anyone went out with this type of person? Is it a bad idea or not? What is it like?
Thanks
TL;DR: | This guy who is known for dating numerous women yet is honest about everything and a very nice guy all around asked me out. Not sure if I should or should not go out with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What was the last thing you heard from your loved one or someone who inspired you that you won't hear from again?
POST: I was fortunate enough to have my close family alive, including my grandparents throughout my short life (college freshman) until last year when my grandpa passed away. He was a English Literature professor in Korea and praised my (honestly poorly-written in hindsight) Hamlet paper. The last conversation I had with him over the phone was about how much he was impressed with my writing. He emphasized how reading classics is very important, and a lot of powerful people (politicians, etc.) are shallow because they don't appreciate such important medium. He told me to always keep reading and understand the classics, and to always keep working hard and become successful. He was truly a wise man and it just absolutely sucks that I don't get to converse with him now that I actually can submerge into Shakespeare and all those grown-up-things he was fluent with.
He also left a message for me on my senior yearbook, which was distributed months after he passed. I broke down in school when I read it.
TL;DR: | My gradpa was really wise and he left me inspiring messages. I'm sad I won't get to talk to him now that I'm somewhat mature enough to understand his messages. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [M/21] do not know if I still want to be with gf [F/20]. Questions about sex and expectations
POST: I've been with my current girlfriend for about 2.5 years. We have had a great relationship and have created memories that I will always cherish. We have some big differences on opinion on some issues but none of them are bigger than the issue of sex. Now, when we started dating, she said she was not ready for sex at the time, and I, not really giving it a second thought, said it was fine as we were both still kind of young. I had been in a previous relationship where there was some but not a lot of sex, as well as a couple random hook ups between relationships, but nothing major.
We have experimented with other kinds of physical affection and that had been fine with me as I respected her wishes to not have sex. The problem is that as of lately, I've been craving sex like crazy, and assumed that after being together for 2.5 years it might be a good time to see if she wanted to have sex. She does not want to have sex because she claims to be deadly afraid of getting pregnant. Of course I've offered to use condoms or any other birth control she felt comfortable with. She still refuses and says she has no idea when she will be ready but says she would feel more comfortable knowing she could financially take care of the baby were she to become pregnant.
All of this and a couple of heated, but respectful discussions have left me wondering if I want to wait until she is ready to be intimate in that way with me. If I had been asked at the beginning of our relationship if we would be having sex by the time we had been together 2.5 years and were both more than halfway done with college, I would have answered yes without a doubt. I feel that we are at different maturity levels and expect different things out of our relationship. I don't want to pressure her into having sex and then having her resent me. Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? What happened? What did you do?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend of 2.5 years doesn't want to have sex. I thought we would be having it by this point in our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [20] and I [21] have been together for 7 months. I feel insecure/too jealous and it's forcing him to hide things and lie. What do I do? Help?
POST: I will just be honest with you, my boyfriend is a 10. He's perfect. He's tall, handsome, smart, talented, athletic, everything you want in a man. I am a 4.
Yesterday, I was looking for his account when I saw his friend's photos of them eating lunch together. The problem is this: He told me he is not able to eat lunch with me because he has to be with his mother. When I saw the photo, I wasn't mad that he spent time with them, I was mad that he lied to me. That he had to make up an excuse just to hang out with his friends.
When I confronted him, he told me that photo was a week ago. When I asked him, how come you are wearing the same shirt you were wearing earlier this morning when we were together, but he said, he just reuses his clothes often since he doesn't have a lot.
I know he lied to me, I could tell. But I cannot blame him after telling me that the reason he lied or that he doesn't tell me anything is because he feels as if he will be punished if he hung out with friends, especially when there are girls. He also feels that I get extremely sad when he is around friends.
Before him, I was in a terrible relationship, which caused me to have a lot of fears about a boyfriend [he was emotionally and verbally abusive] . One fear is a boyfriend that is shady and a liar, and I told my current boyfriend that, and he did the same thing.
I need help. Please help.
I really love him… I want to be with him.. and I want him to be with a better me..
TL;DR: | Any advice on how I could be a better girlfriend, and how I could I show him that he could hang out with friends without hiding it and lying? Any advice on how I could be less jealous and insecure? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What non-controversial yet illogical social stigma makes no sense to you?
POST: Obviously, by controversial I mean things like homophobia or racism. This is in regards to less emotionally charged issues.
Mine is stigma against convenient clothing, such as clip-on ties and velcro shoes. I understand that there's a preconception that only children and the handicapped wear velcro shoes due to the fact that they lack either the coordination or the training to tie laces, but why is there such a stigma about it?
There is no logical benefit to wearing laced shoes over velcro. Velcro shoes hold just fine, velcro is easier to fasten and unfasten, never comes untied, and never breaks while you're trying to fasten it.
If you follow the logic back to its root, the biggest reason we wear laced shoes is just to prove to other people that we know how to tie the laces, because they have no other advantages over velcro.
TL;DR: | Velcro shoes are more logical and sensible than laced shoes, yet there is a stigma against them, so we end up wearing laced shoes just to prove to others that we know how to tie them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is your best prank? Funny, Scary, Gone Wrong? I'll give it a go first.
POST: So, a week ago I posted a comment and some redditor said elaborate. Here's a go at an 'AskReddit'
Elaborated part of prank.
As a child I was often fascinated by creatures who lived off blood and being rather mischievous and able to get into small places. Brother was a bit wary of my pranks by this age so they had to get elaborate. As a teenager he frequented the kitchen being a growing boy and etc. Our parents both worked at the time to help pay off the bills, (I tend to get sick easily and steroids seem to be the only option. Which is questionable considering the homeopathic person my mother is.) so we usually are home alone. He's around 11 and I about 8-9, and he's going to come into the kitchen so I hide... in the pantry. He leaves and goes about his homework thinking I'm outside or reading in a quiet corner as usual. Too afraid to lose this chance, I watch in silence from the pantry for four hours as he completes his homework of writing an essay and some algebra.
Dad comes home early, sends Alex off with a new game to play and comes into the kitchen to make some coffee. I'm still in the pantry. And well, since there is a new plausible target; why not? Though it is impossible to scare my father. He cleans the coffee pot and comes over to retrieve the grounds from the pantry, opening the doors.
"RAWR I'M DRACULA!" I yell, thinking he'll laugh. He screams and bolts for the other door. I stiffly move my legs and ask; "Daddy?" To this day I have no idea why I stood there for so long, back then it was thought that I had ADhD; not anymore though.
TL;DR: | Tried scaring brother, waited for him for a long time in kitchen pantry; scared father instead. Father doesn't get scared often enough to know if he really was. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by asking for organic milk and refusing to drink regular milk
POST: This happened two years ago, but I still think about it at least 2 nights a week. So...after a high school tennis match, my friend's mom asked if I wanted to join them for dinner. Even though I didn't want to, my mom wasn't cooking anything good for dinner anyways so why the hell not. So fast forward to dinner, the dad asked me if I wanted some milk and I asked him "is it organic?", he said no and I said "no thanks". The rest of the dinner felt awkward since the conversation kind of died out, I was the one who was starting all the conversations.
When I got home, my friend told me that his parents were complaining how I'm picky and spoiled that I had to drink organic milk. Maybe I should've told them that I avoid regular milk because I'm having problems with acne.
TL;DR: | At friend's dinner with parents. Refused milk, asked if it was organic. Perceived as spoiled and picky. Regular milk causes acne. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Should I email her again or is it not worth it?
POST: I'm 22 and working at a hospital. I got signed up for a 5 day study testing kinesthetics. The person conducting the study was a girl (maybe 24?) who was part of that lab. She's from England and studied at a prestigious university. I spoke to her from day 1 to day 5 of the study during breaks and such.
We grabbed breakfast together on day 3 and sat and spoke for a good 20 minutes. I asked her out on day 5 (Friday morning) and she gave me her email address. She explained that she would add me on whatsapp and we could work out the details, and also told me to email her my number.
I emailed her with a simple "hey it's Alex. My number is ...." that Friday evening. She did mention that she would be out of town with friends on Sat and Sun. She still hasn't responded (Monday evening). Maybe I'm being expecting a quick response or maybe she's just busy. I'm not sure. Is this a dead end or should I wait a few more days and email her again with a more direct "are you still interested in going out etc"? Thank you.
TL;DR: | English girl gives American guy email address after asking her out, guy emails her but no response for 3 days. Wait longer or just a waste of time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Confused Feelings After Five Years of Relationship
POST: I am 21, male and live in germany. My girlfriend is 19. We met about 5 years ago, on a haloween party and exchanged numbers. She had a crush on my Best friend that time, but he wasn't interested. She also lost interested in him when we learned to know each other. the Feelings grow strong pretty fast, in both of us.
Fast forward to this day. We live in a romantic relationship. We fight over small things like an elderly couple, but we never forget to appreciate us being there for each other. Our love is still strong, and the bed in our room is not only used to sleep in .. i would say that we are happy.
But now this.. A few months ago i was out in the Club with a few friends. They had some girls with them. I am normally not interested in any other girl. No matter how sexy or beautyful - always was faithful.
Tho this day there was this one girl that caught my attention. I don't know how to explain the Feelings but I think a cheesy "love at first sight" will fit it the best.. I was not able to get her out of my head.. up to this day i am thinking of her. It makes me feel guilty towards my girlfriend because it feels like -in my head- i am cheating on her. I am indeed fantasizing about how a relationship with this other girl would be like... We have just so much in common it is crazy!
I don't want to leave my girlfriend.. But I can't leave the other girl to forget her aswell, because she is good friends with most of my new and only friends... I really don't know how to handle the situation im in right now...
TL;DR: | (Male/21) in a relationship with girlfriend(19) for over 5 years. Met a girl that I have got feelings for in an instant. Don't know what to do because I love GF. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 19M confused with 21F's renewed interest
POST: 19 yr old student here. I asked out my friend 21 yr old (lets call her C for ease), and she said no. Here is the sticky part, I asked her out a month ago, and I've tried to move on. Unbeknownst to me, one of her friends likes me and has come on pretty hard to me.
Soon through a mutual male friend of ours C finds out about it and proceeds to question me about it. Although she rejected me, she consistently asks me about my love interests every time I express interests in any girls.
Also, while we were out with a mutual friend (R), I joke with R and I tell her that the girl I like is ugly. C steps in and tells R that I tease her by calling her ugly often.
So, does she still have interest in me or is this all in my head or am I getting led on?
TL;DR: | Girl who rejected me, shows interest in me after rejection, am I being screwed with or just dealing with someone immature? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 21 (F) Just looking for general input but...
POST: So, my boyfriend (20/M) and I have been dating for nine months, and it's been pretty great overall. We're on the same page academically, and have similar goals/wishes for the future. However, there are a few problems in our relationship that have begun to worry me. I'm black and he's white, and his dad (and paternal extended family) doesn't know because the last time he brought it up his dad threatened to stop paying for his schooling. In the beginning I didn't mind avoiding this issue, but now it really worries me that he won't address it because I don't want us to get even more serious while knowing there's still any chance that that could break us up. Secondly, I feel as if sexually we aren't on the same page. We've talked about sex many times before (what we might like, willing to try, everything) but initiation of anything vaguely sexual leads to me being shut down. When I asked if he wanted to have sex (in general anything sexual) he gave me some excuse about needing to do some man prep work. I do plan to talk to him about my feelings, but right now it's as if we've reached a stalemate in solving these problems and I just wanted some input.
TL;DR: | Racial issues with some of his family/possible sexual incompatibility with my SO (20/M) have me considering our future together. |
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