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black_mirror_scripts_S1-5

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Okay, now I get it.
No, it's just that actually it turns out we're tired
and I guess we forgot, but now we've remembered, so, sorry.
No, it's fine really.
(Ffion) I'm sorry.
Oh, it's cool, no worries, yeah I've got a backup plan so...
Oh, cool, well, envoke the back up.
Yeah, I will. See you later, Fi.
It's good to meet you, man.
Yeah.
Nice one.
Brilliant, brilliant.
Okay, cool.
Good to meet you, man, yeah.
Listen, Gina, it's a 40 minute wait for a cab,
but if you want I'll have the bed made up in my office, yeah?
Okay, thanks, Fi.
Hey just, you know, use anything,
there's T-shirts and...
Alright, yes, thanks, I'll show myself up.
- Alright, night. - Night, guys.
Night, Gina.
(bling)
(baby cries)
Thank you.
Is he a big part of the gang?
- Who? - Jonas.
I don't know, yeah?
Let me guess, he's spent his time oozing around the girls,
offering back rubs.
Not really.
Circling for an orifice.
Was he always that oily or...
Okay, look...
What?
It's nothing, but...
...you may have noticed a bit of an atmosphere because...
...me and Jonas years ago had a bit of a thing.
You had a thing with oily dude man.
It was just a little thing and I didn't even
know you back then, so...
You slept with oily dude man?
That's hilarious!
We've all got our skeletons, how about you and Gemma?
Well, I told you about Gemma.
Gemma was a nutcase, but you never mentioned Jonas.
I did, I told you I hooked up with someone in Marrakech.
Jonas is Mr. Marrakech?
It was like a month, it was a stupid thing and then...
I thought Mr. Marrakech was some sort of super cool,
well not him.
It was years ago and...
Are you embarrassed by that?
'Cause it's embarrassing.
I'm sorry but, Christ, are you not embarrassed?
It was years ago.
But you dated him for a month?
That's what I said.
'Cause when you told me about Mr. Marrakech, it was a week.
No, I didn't.
(rewinding)
(Liam) What about you?
I don't wanna see our first time right now.
Ssh, ssh, you're about to talk.
(Ffion) I went away and had a little thing that did my head
in for a while with this sort of, this sort
of head-fuck guy in Marrakech.
(Liam) Mr. Marrakech?
Yeah!
(Liam) I'm not, I'm imagining it, a chiller, with a big knob.
(Ffion) No, it's like a dormouse.
Big deal, big heartbreaker?
No, it was just a week.
It was a weird week.
So a weird week or a month?
The point it, it wasn't a big deal.
Well, it was big enough to do your head in.
Jonas, King Dormouse Dick of Marrakech did you head in.
That was a nice night. Used to be.
You're getting obsessed.
I'm not.
We had all this with Dan,
I don't want you going like that again.
He had little, creepy, beady eyes and he was always...
What, acting like he was interested? And you know what?
I think, I think he probably did fancy me, and actually
he wasn't completely hideous, so in another life I
don't know, but nothing happened!
And Jonas...
Oh, he's an old fling! So what? Don't get all fucked up.
Oh, what, I'm fucked up, am I?
No, I mean just...
No, no, that's brilliant, 'cause sometimes you're a bitch.
I didn't mean that.
You're a bitch.
I'd like you to erase that.
You're a bitch.
Also sometimes.
You can't just edit off the word "sometimes".
(door opens, closes)