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Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen [Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.] Ross: Hey! What are you guys looking at? Joey: Oh, it’s a poster for that World wr I movie that I’m in, check it out. Ross: Yeah? Wow! It looks really violent! Joey: Uh-huh! I know. I’m coming soon to a theater near you! I’m in THX! I’m unsuitable for children! Ross: Now I cannot wait to see this. Joey: Yeah, yeah, it’s already generating Oscar buzz. Phoebe: I started that! Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and you’re all invited! (They all gasp.) Monica: Are we gonna take a limo? Joey: Sure! Why not?! Monica: Oh I love taking limos when nobody died! Rachel: Well obviously I won’t be able to come, for those of you who haven’t checked their calendars today is my due date. Well y’know, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great you’ve been during this time. I really couldn’t have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant. [Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, and Rachel is entering still pregnant.] Rachel: That’s right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room! Ross: Uh sweetie, maybe you’d be more comfortable here? (Gets up from the green armchair.) Rachel: You. Like you haven’t done enough. Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses it’s the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, I’d be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.) (Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room they’ve made with his arm and decides it’s not enough and they all move over again.) Rachel: God. (Sits down.) I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life! Phoebe: Oh I know, I’ve been there. I remember toward the end… Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, that’s a great story. Can you tell it to me when you’re getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!! Chandler: Let’s. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.) Opening Credits [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.] Chandler: Hey! Did you have the baby yet? Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? ‘Cause I’ll do it. Monica: What are you doing here so early? Rachel: They sent me home from work. They were like, "Start your maternity leave now! Just rest, get ready for the baby." Well y’know what? Screw ‘em! If they don’t want me there, I’ll just hang out with you guys. Phoebe: Or you can do volunteer work. (Joey’s cell phone rings and he answers it.) Joey: Hello? Estelle: Joey! It’s Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere. Joey: One guest? You told me I can have six tickets! Estelle: Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. You’ll be sitting next to HotGuy372. Joey: Oh my God. So that’s it?! I only get to bring one guest? Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello? Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross. Rachel: (overhearing that) What-what about me? Joey: You said you didn’t want to go. Rachel: I don’t. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because I’m pregnant you think I’m invisible. Joey: Definitely not invisible. Monica: Well, well Ross didn’t care enough to be here, so I think he’s out. You snooze you lose. Chandler: He’s not snoozing, he’s teaching a class. Monica: Well then somebody’s snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.) Chandler: I haven’t seen this dress. Monica: Star in a movie. Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe. Joey: Well uh…I think I want to take Chandler. Phoebe: (still mimicking a heartbeat, only faster) Phoebe-Phoebe-Phoebe-Phoebe—Burrrrr! (Mimics the sound of a cardiac monitor going off.) Chandler: You really want to take me? Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean I’m sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but y’know Chandler always supported my career. He’s paid for acting classes and head shts and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back. Chandler: So you’re never actually going to pay me back? Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shts you’re gonna take him? Joey, I don’t think you’re comprehending just how slutty this dress is! Joey: It’s not just the stuff he paid for, I mean it’s-it’s everything. Y’know? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didn’t get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didn’t believe in myself. Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. I’m so proud of you. Joey: Thanks. That means a lot to me. (They look at each other and smile for a while.) Phoebe: Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress. Joey: (in a manly voice) I’m gonna go shave. (Gets up.) Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, I’m gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.) Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I don’t come out in five minutes it’s because I’ve choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.) Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, I’ll blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her. Monica: She’s over a week late! She gotta have it today, right? Phoebe: I don’t know. I-I think it’s still gonna be a while. Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? I’ll bet you that she’ll have it by this time tomorrow. Phoebe: You’re on! Monica: Okay, how much? Phoebe: One hundred thousand dollars! Monica: How about fifty bucks? Phoebe: Fine! I’ll call Zurich and move some money around. Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, who’s turn is it to help me get up! (They both look at each other, then Phoebe gets an idea.) Phoebe: No one’s here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit! [Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.] Chandler: This is so exciting! It’s so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look? Joey: A little tall. Chandler: What? Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.) Chandler: It’s just so glamorous. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is entering, still pregnant.] Phoebe: Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, you’re still pregnant. Oh, I’m sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. Y’know what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks. Rachel: Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. (Goes to the bathroom.) Monica: Damnit! Damnit!! Here’s your fifty bucks! (Pays Phoebe.) Phoebe: It’s interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose? Monica: Now stop it! Double or nothing that she has it by tomorrow! Phoebe: Fine! You’re on! Monica: Okay. Phoebe: Until then, General Grant, why don’t you set up camp (She puts the bill in her bra) right there. Ross: (entering) Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctor’s appointment. Monica: She’s in the bathroom. Ross: Rach, we gotta go. Rachel: In a minute!!! Ross: People ask me why we’re not together, I just don’t know what to tell them. Rachel: (entering) All right, all right. Let’s go! Ross: Uh, do you wanna go change first? The doctor’s keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry… Rachel: No, I’m fine. Ross: Really? You don’t think that’s a little inappropriate. (She’s wearing a tnk top and has her belly sticking out.) Phoebe: Good God man don’t anger it. Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable. Ross: Fine! Fine! Y’know what? Whatever you want. Okay? You’re the mommy. Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Don’t call me mommy! It’s bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.) Monica: I’m actually with her on this one. [Scene: Inside Joey’s Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.] Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along." Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. It’s my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that he’s asleep.) [Scene: Dr. Long’s Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.] Rachel: Ross. Ross: Yeah? Rachel: Can I ask you something? Ross: Uh-huh. Rachel: When Carol was pregnant with Ben… Ross: Mmm? Rachel: …were you this irritating? Ross: Wow! Rachel: Excuse me?! Ross: Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, you’ve been a little short with me lately. I’m not trying to irritate you. Rachel: Well then you just must have a natural talent for it. Ross: Y’know what? The doctor will be in soon, why don’t we not speak until then. Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! That’s great! Ross: Y’know we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that’s half human and half pure evil! (Dr. Long enters.) Rachel: Hi Dr. Long, how are you? Ross: (to Rachel) Oh, you’re nice to her. Rachel: She has the drugs! Dr. Long: We’ll do a quick check. Rachel: Okay. (Rachel lies back.) Dr. Long: So, eight days late huh? Rachel: Yeah. Dr. Long: You must be a little uncomfortable. Rachel: Eh, just a tad. Dr. Long: You’re about 80 percent effaced, so you’re on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If you’re anxious there are a few ways to help things along. Ross: Do them!! Dr. Long: Actually, they’re things you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience I’ve found that some of them are quite effective. Rachel: Well, we are ready to try anything. Dr. Long: Okay, there’s an herbal tea you can drink. Rachel: Okay. Dr. Long: You can take some caster oil, there’s eating spicy foods… Rachel: Great! We will do all of those. Dr. Long: …taking a long walk, and then there’s the one that’s proved most effective: sex. (Rachel turns and looks at Ross.) Ross: You’ve got to be kidding me! Commercial Break [Scene: Joey’s Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.] Chandler: Good job Joe! Well done! Top notch! Joey: You liked it? You really liked it? Chandler: Oh-ho-ho, yeah! Joey: Which part exactly? Chandler: The whole thing! Can we go? Joey: Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics. Chandler: I love the specifics, the specifics were the best part! Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part? Chandler: I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World wr I epic. Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didn’t take any of my suggestions! That’s for coming buddy. I’ll see you later. (Starts to walk out.) Chandler: Don’t go! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! (Sees another guy who is still asleep.) Look! This guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! (Looks at him more closely.) Or, call an ambulance. [Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Rachel are there as Phoebe and Monica enter.] Monica: Hey! Ross: Hey. Rachel: Hi! Monica: What did the doctor say? Any news on when the baby will come? Rachel: No. But she did give us some ideas on how to induce labor. Ross: Yeah, we tried them all. We went for a walk, uh we tried a special tea, caster oil, spicy food nothing has worked. Rachel: Well, there is one thing that we haven’t tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Ross) "That will open up a can of worms." Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If it’s gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it. Ross: It’s sex. Monica: Do it! Ross: Monica! Monica: I’m just saying it’s been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours! Phoebe: Oh I-I don’t know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic. Monica: All right, let’s be practical, if Ross isn’t willing to do it, he’s not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow Chandler—Chandler is good! Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you? Monica: Nothing. I just want the baby to be born today. Rachel: Why? Why today? Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that you’re gonna have the baby and I don’t want to lose again! Ross: What?! While she’s been going through this hell, you’ve been making money?! You’re betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.) Rachel: I’ll take that bet. Ross: What?! Rachel: Well, I’m miserable here! I might as well make some money out it! Ross: Can I get some of that action? Monica: Wait a minute! Now I’m betting against all three of you? Rachel: Oh honey, don’t worry. I really do feel like tomorrow’s the day. Monica: Oh, okay! (Rachel turns her head to Ross and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.") [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.] Joey: Hey! Sleeping beauty! Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad! Joey: (in a baby voice) Oh no, were you upset? Did you lose sleep? Chandler: I’m so sorry. Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? You’ve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you? Chandler: What?! Joey: Give me a number, I don’t want to owe you anything! Chandler: You don’t owe me anything, I don’t want you money… Joey: Ah-ah-ah! We’re doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shts. Right, how much were those? Chandler: I don’t know, five hundred dollars? Joey: Okay, five hundred dollars. What else? Chandler: Well then there was the second set, the infamous booger head sh*ts. Joey: Okay, so that’s another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, that’s… (Pauses to figure it out.) Chandler: Do you want a calculator? Joey: Please! Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.) Joey: All right, what else? Chandler: Well uh, there was acting classes, stage combat classes, tap classes… Joey: Which we’re still keeping under our hats! Chandler: Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican. Joey: What the hell are you talking about, (in a Jamaican accent) "The south will rise again man." Chandler: Yes, money well spent! Joey: Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent! Chandler: Okay, two, three years of rent, utilities, food… Joey: Okay. Okay, so I’m writing you a check for…So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing? [Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are trying the home remedies again.] Ross: Come on, finish your enchilada. Rachel: Ross I—We tried all the spicy food. It’s not working. Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha… Oh God! So…so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my—(Laughs.) By the way, you don’t want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye. Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you. Ross: Stop it. Rachel: Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know what’s gonna work! It’s doctor recommended! Ross: I’m sorry, but we have to have some boundaries! My God, I’m dying. Rachel: Oh come on Ross, we’ve done it before we’ll do it again, it’ll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy. Ross: This is insane, I’m not gonna make love to you just so that you’ll go into labor. Rachel: Make love? What are you a girl? Ross: Always a great way to get in a man’s pants. Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, y’know you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out. Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me. Rachel: Oh, I know it. You’re right. That’s not sexy. Oh…Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but can’t quite seem to make it.) Oh God! Ross: Okay enough! This is, this is not going to happen. Rachel: Come on Ross! I’m miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me. Ross: Y’know what? Rachel: What?! Ross: Forget it. Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross you’re not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean you’d think the damn jalepeno would’ve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! That’s not enough… (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?! Ross: I’m getting that baby out of you! (They kiss again.) Rachel: (breaking the kiss) Oh God! Ross: Oh, I know. Rachel: Oh no. No-no! I think my water just broke. Ross: I am good. Okay! Okay! Uh, I got the pillow! I got the bag! You got the keys? Rachel: Okay! I got the keys! Okay! Okay! Ross: Hey! Rachel: Yeah. Ross: We’re having a baby. (They hug and then kiss one more time.) Rachel: I didn’t uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to… Ross: Not so much. Rachel: Okay. Closing Credits [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is paying Phoebe.] Monica: Two hundred. Phoebe: Thank you! Monica: That’s it. I’m done. I don’t care when the baby comes, no more betting. Phoebe: Okay. (The phone rings and Monica answers it.) Monica: Hello? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up.) I guess we can bet one more time. Phoebe: Is Rachel having the baby? Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joey’s apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! It’s time! Phoebe: They’re at the coffeehouse. Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isn’t interested.) I bet you it has hair. (She’s still not interested.) I bet you it’s a girl. Phoebe: We know it’s a girl! (Exits.) Monica: (following her) I’ll give you really good odds. End	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "08x22 - The One Where Rachel Is Late"}	foreverdreaming
Part I Written by: Scott Silveri Part II Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Parts I & II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen [Scene: The Hospital, Ross and Rachel, who’s in a wheelchair, are arriving in the waiting room for the maternity ward.] Ross: All right! (Checking his watch) Yes!! From home to the hospital in under seven minutes! We did it!! Rachel: (deadpan) Yes, the hard part is truly over. Ross: No, but come on, we’re off to a great start aren’t we? I knew I’d get you here fast, but this has got to be some kind of a record! (Phoebe and Monica walk in from getting some coffee.) Phoebe: Oh you made it! Rachel: Hi! (Ross is stunned.) Monica: How are you doing? Ross: Wait a minute! How-how the hell did you bat us here? Monica: We took a cab. Did you guys walk? Ross: N… No! We took a cab too, but I did test runs! (Chandler and Joey enter from the vending machines carrying sodas.) Chandler: Hi! Joey: Hey! You made it! Ross: Okay is there…some kind of magic tunnel to this hospital?! Rachel: Ross, you stay here and talk, I’m gonna go have a baby. Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. I’m Ross Geller. We-we called from the car. Nurse: Right! We have a semi-private labor room waiting for you. So in just a minute… Rachel: (interrupting her) Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I’m sorry, semi-private? We (Laughs), we asked for a private room. Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we can’t guarantee a private room and currently they’re all unavailable. Chandler: Man, if only you’d gotten here sooner. (Ross turns and glares at him.) Nurse: I’m sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have. Rachel: Okay. Just give us a second. Ross! (They walk away from the desk.) Ross: Yeah? Rachel: Give her some money. Ross: I really think they’re out of rooms. Rachel: They’re not!! Ross, they’re just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?! Ross: Well then we’d be in a lot of trouble, you don’t know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm… Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up? Nurse: This is a hospital. Rachel: (standing up) Okay. Y’know what? I’d have to say I really don’t care for your tone. And this is not the only hospital in this city and we have no problem to—Whoa! (She starts a contraction) Oh gosh! Whoa! Ross: What-what? Rachel: Ow! Ow! Contraction. (Sits back down.) Ow-ow! Ow-ow! (Starts breathing heavily.) Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room? Rachel: Yeah, it couldn’t hurt to look. Opening Credits [Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Rachel is in bed, Ross is fooling around, and Dr. Long is checking on Rachel.] Dr. Long: Well you’re only two centimeters dilated and we need to get to ten. It’ll be a while. Rachel: Oh, okay. Dr. Long: I’ll be back in an hour to check you again. Ross: Thank you. Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kll. Ross: Yeah, guess so. Whew! Check these out! (He’s looking at the stirrups on the other bed in the room and Rachel groans. Ross then hops into the bed and puts his legs into the stirrups.) Never done this before. Rachel: Yeah well it looks great! (A nurse shows another couple into the room.) Man: Thank you very much. Woman: Thanks. (They stop when they see Ross who has to struggle to get out of the bed.) Ross: Hi! Hi, I’m uh Ross. I’m here to ruin this magical day for you. Man: Oh no-no, not at all. Woman: Don’t worry about it. Man: Marc Coreger, this is my wife Julie. Ross: Hi Julie. Julie: Hi. Ross: This is Rachel. (Points at her.) Rachel: Hi! Marc: Oh hi Rachel. Rachel: How are you? Julie: Hi. Is this your first? Rachel: Yeah it is. Julie: Well, little Jamie here is our third. So, if you have questions or you need anything at all, just holler. Rachel: That’s so sweet. Ross: Yeah. Rachel: Oh. Ross: Umm say, I-I opened this earlier (The privacy screen) but let me give you guys some privacy. Marc: No nonsense! We’re all in this together. Julie: Yeah, we are going to share every moment of this with you. And I think we’re gonna have some fun. Marc: Yeah. Ross: Oh, okay. Marc: Hey! Smile! (Points his camera at Ross and Rachel.) Rachel: Oh no, I really don’t want any—(He takes the picture)—Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross… Ross: What? Rachel: Here comes another contraction. Ross: Oh. Okay, just breathe. Julie: Oh honey, I think I’m having one too! (During the mutual contraction Julie takes a moment to point out they’re having a contraction at the same time.) Marc: Look at this! (Takes another picture) There we go! [Scene: The Waiting Room, the rest of the gng is lounging around.] Phoebe: (looking at the clock) Oh wow, three hours and still no baby. Ugh, the miracle of birth sure is a snooze fest. Monica: Hey, you wanna see something? Phoebe: Sure! What? Monica: Umm, this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey? Chandler: Yeah? Monica: Listen uh, I-I’ve been doing some thinking, and I don’t know whether it’s because we’re here or Rachel’s giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby. Chandler: Okay. Monica: (freaking out) What-what-what’s that now?! Chandler: Okay. I’ve been thinking about it too, and I, I think we’re ready. Monica: What?! Are you kidding me?! You-you-you think we’re ready to have a baby now?! Phoebe: Oh, this is fun. Joey: You’re ready to have a baby? My boy’s all grown up! Chandler: But you said you were ready too. Monica: Yeah but I was just screwing with you to try to get your voice all high and weird like mine is now! Chandler: Yes, but haven’t you wanted a kid like forever? Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) ‘Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father. Joey: (voice all high and weird) What?! Are you crazy?! Monica: That’s it! Right there! Is all I wanted! [Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, time lapse, Ross is massaging out a cramp on Rachel’s hip as Marc opens up the privacy screen.] Marc: I am so sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam. Rachel: Oh, that’s very—Really very-very okay. Marc: Julie’s cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, that’s about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself. Julie: Have you felt Rachel’s cervix Ross? Rachel: (simultaneously as Ross) No, I don’t think we’ll be doing that. Ross: (simultaneously as Rachel) We’re not gonna do that. Julie: Well, if you like you can feel Rachel’s and then feel mine to compare. Mrs. Geller: (entering) Am I interrupting? Ross: Uh yes! Thank you. Rachel: Oh. Oh wait no. Ross: Later. Rachel: No-no-don’t! Don’t leave me here with these people. Ross: Oh uh, I’m sorry. (Runs out.) Rachel: No Ross! Ross! Ross! My child has no father! [Scene: The Hallway, Ross comes out and hugs Mrs. Geller.] Ross: Hi! I’m so glad you’re here, but it’s gonna be a while. I-I wished you’d called first. Mrs. Geller: Oh that’s all right, I’m coming back later with your father. Ross: Oh good. Mrs. Geller: I actually needed to talk to you before the birth. Ross: Okay, what’s up? Mrs. Geller: I brought something that I want to give you, assuming of course that you want it. (She holds up an engagement ring.) Ross: Ma, you’re asking me to marry you? Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmother’s engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel. Ross: Mom no, come on! Thank you. Mrs. Geller: Just hear me out! Ross: N-no! Okay? We’ve been through this! We’re not gonna get married just because she’s pregnant, okay? Mrs. Geller: Honestly! Ross, this isn’t just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family. Ross: Mom, y’know what? I-I can’t deal with this right now. I’m sorry… Mrs. Geller: Just…think about it. If you don’t, I’ll talk more about humping. Ross: Gimmie! (Takes the ring and puts it in his coat pocket as Rachel enters the hallway.) Rachel: Hi! Mrs. Geller: Oh hi dear! Rachel: Oh, thank you so much for coming. Ross, get in here! (Mrs. Geller leaves as Ross re-enters the room.) [Scene: The Waiting Room, Ross is explaining to the gng what happened with his mother.] Ross: …she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why I’m not with Rachel. Phoebe: Yeah. (Pause) Why aren’t you with Rachel? Ross: Are you kidding? Look, we’re not gonna be together just because we’re having a baby. Okay? Phoebe: But y’know what? It just seems that you two belong together. Ross: Okay, stop it! I can’t deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby. Phoebe: Right. And with who again? (Ross exits.) Joey: God. He’s crazy! Why doesn’t he want to be with Rachel? Phoebe: I know! Joey: I mean seriously, she’s like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadn’t and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and… (Realizes everyone is staring.) I haven’t bummed you guys out like this in a while have I? [Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Ross is returning to find another couple has taken the place of Marc and Julie.] Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Who’s that? Rachel: New people. Ross: What happened to the Disgustingtons? Rachel: They’re having their baby! It’s not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy sht of little Jamie just crowning away. Ross: Wow! Sorry. So uh, how are the new people? Rachel: Well they have uh, some unusual pet names for each other. Including umm, evil bitch and uh, sick bastard. Oh God oh! Contraction! Ross: Yeah? Okay. Rachel: Ooh! Ow!! Evil Bitch: Are you looking at her?! Sick Bastard: No! Evil Bitch: Don’t you look at her you sick bastard! Sick Bastard: Honey I swear! I wasn’t looking at her! Evil Bitch: She’s in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch! Ross: Umm. Umm, I’m-I’m just gonna—(Closes the privacy screen.) Evil Bitch: See? See? It was because you were looking fat pervert! Ross: No-no, I’m…I’m sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy. (He closes the screen and stares wide-eyed at Rachel.) Evil Bitch: You miss your girlfriend? Ross: Just ignore them. (Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.) Rachel: Ross. Ross: What? What? Rachel: He’s looking at me. Ross: (to him) Hey! You wanna live to see your baby?! Evil Bitch: Don’t you talk to my husband like that you stupid bastard! (Ross shrugs his shoulders to Rachel and Sick Bastard closes the screen all the way.) [Scene: Outside the Nursery, Chandler is looking at the babies as Monica walks up.] Monica: Oh good God! If you want a baby so bad just go steal it! (The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.) Monica: What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies? Chandler: I’m not crazy about babies. I’m crazy about us. Monica: What? Chandler: Look, we’ve always talked about having babies someday. I’m not saying it has to be right now, but I’m starting to think that we can handle it. We’re good. We’re really good. Monica: We are pretty good. Chandler: But nothing has to happen until your ready. Monica: Well maybe I’m ready now. I mean, it’s a little scary, but maybe it’s right. Chandler: What?! It’s not right! We’re not ready to have a kid now!! Monica: What?!! Chandler: I’m kidding. This is going to be fun. Monica: So we’re gonna try? I mean, are we trying? Chandler: We’re trying to get pregnant. (They start kissing, but Chandler stops it.) Y’know I’m not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies. So, when do you want to start trying? Monica: Okay, hold on a sec. Chandler: Period math? Monica: Yeah. Chandler: Yeah. Monica: Well, we could start trying. Now. Chandler: Right here? Monica: No, not here. Maybe here. Chandler: Wait a minute, it’s perfect. We got a lot of time to kll and we’re in a building that’s full of beds! Monica: And it’s so clean!! (They run off in search of a bed.) Commercial Break [Scene: The Vending Machines, Phoebe is buying a soda and Joey is shaking the candy machine.] Joey: Come on you stupid machine! Come on! Phoebe: Oh, it ate your money? Joey: (looking at her) No. Phoebe: All right, I’ll see you downstairs then. Joey: All right. Phoebe: All right. Joey: Hey I got one! I got one! [Cut to the elevator lobby, Phoebe walks up and sees a man in a wheelchair with his broken leg extended.] Man: Hi! Phoebe: Hi. Man: Oh uh, up or down? Phoebe: Oh down please. (The guy tries to reach the button, but can’t.) I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? (She pushes the button.) Man: Could you press up too please? Phoebe: Sure! I feel so bad for you; I broke my leg once too. Man: Oh yeah? How’d yours happen? Phoebe: Well, it’s a long story. It’s kind of embarrassing. Let’s just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. (The guy laughs.) How about you? Man: Car accident. Phoebe: Oh. Man: Oh, let me guess some idiot on a cell phone wasn’t paying attention? Man: Yeah. Me. (The elevator door opens.) Oh hey, that’s me. (Rolls onto the elevator.) Hey uh, I take it you’re just visiting someone. Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah. Man: Well umm, if you have sometime y’know and maybe you might want to visit someone else… Phoebe: Oh yeah! I-I would like that. Man: I’m in the middle… (The elevator door closes, cutting him off.) Phoebe: Wait! What?! No!! Elevator!! No! Joey: (standing behind her) Uh, you gotta press the button. (Does so.) [Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.] Ross: The nurse said they’re bringing in another woman. Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesn’t need to be; she’ll still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.) Ross: That’s it. That’s it. (The next couple enters.) Woman: Oooh, that sounded like a bad one. Rachel: Yeah it was. Woman: Mine haven’t been so bad. Oh! Here comes one now. (Hums then squeals a little bit.) Oh, that was a big one! (Rachel motions for Ross to close the privacy screen, which he does.) [Scene: Another Waiting Room, Phoebe and Joey are trying to find out where the guy with the broken leg is.] Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient I’m looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, he’s like early to mid-thirties, very attractive. Nurse: I think I know who you’re talking about. Phoebe: Oh yay! Great! Okay, what room number is he in? Nurse: I’m sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff… Joey: (walks up) Uh, she’s with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray. Nurse: Dr. Drake who? Joey: Remoray. It’s Portuguese. We need that information; I’m a doctor. Nurse: A doctor at this hospital? Joey: Damnit woman we’re losing precious time! Now do you want this man’s blood on your head? Phoebe: Hands. Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. He’s a patient of mine, I’ve been treating him for years! Nurse: He’s in room 816. Joey: 816, thank you! Phoebe: Thank you. (Starts to exit.) (Joey starts to leave, but stops.) Joey: And what is his name? Phoebe: (coming back for Joey) No! (Grabs Joey and drags him away.) [Scene: An Empty Hospital Room, Chandler and Monica enter.] Monica: I think we found a place. Chandler: Okay. (They start kissing.) Monica: Umm, wait! Do you want to set the mood a little? Chandler: Okay. Uh, we’ll dim the lights, dim the lights. (He goes to the light switch and finds it’s not a dimmer switch when he flips the lights off.) Or turn them out all together. Uh, no scented candles. Okay here. Here we go. (He sprays an aerosol air freshener above her.) Monica: Okay! Okay! Make me sterile, but okay. (He hops onto the bed and they start making out.) Monica: Okay. Let’s hurry—Oh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.) Chandler: Yes, 98.6. You’re gonna be fine. [Scene: Outside Room 816, Phoebe and Joey are approaching.] Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, that’s him! That’s him! Joey: Great! Go get him. Phoebe: Wait a second, or maybe you can go in first. Joey: (looks in the window) He’s not really my type. Phoebe: No not you, Dr. Drake Remoray. You can ask him questions and see what’s he like. People tell doctors everything. Joey: But you said he was this great guy! Phoebe: But lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first, then they turn out to be the biggest jerks. Joey: You do attract some stinkers. [Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Dr. Long is checking on Rachel again.] Rachel: Dr. Long, I’ve been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine? Dr. Long: Three. Ross: Just three?! I’m dilated three! Dr. Long: We are moving along, just slowly. (Rachel lies back and sighs.) Don’t worry, you’re doing great. I’ll be back soon. (Exits.) Rachel: Hey, y’know what? I’m not waiting! I’m gonna push this baby out! I’m doing it! I mean it’s what? Three centimeters? That’s gotta be like this! (Holds her hands a couple inches apart.) Ross: Actually it’s more like this. (Pushes her hands to less than an inch apart.) Rachel: Oh stupid metric system! (Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.) Doctor: Oh my. We’re gonna need to take you straight to the delivery room. Rachel: Oh for the love of God! Woman Giving Birth: (yelling from the hallway) It’s coming! It’s coming! Doctor: And here it is! (The baby cries.) Rachel: Oh come on!! [Scene: Room 816, Dr. Drake Remoray is entering.] Joey: Hi! I’m Dr. Drake Remoray and I have a few routine questions I need to ask you. Man: Really? I’ve been dealing with Dr. Wells. Joey: I know, but I’m a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me. Man: Dr. Wells is a woman. Joey: That was a test. Good response. All right, full name. Man: Clifford Burnett. Joey: Date of birth? Cliff: November 16th, 1968. Joey: Age? Cliff: Can’t you figure that out based on my date of birth? Joey: I’m a doctor Cliff, not a mathematician. Cliff: I’m 33. Joey: Okay. And uh, are you married. Cliff: No. Joey: Oh really? So, 33 and still single, would you say you have commitment issues? Cliff: Are all the questions this personal? Joey: (checking the list) Yes. Cliff: Well uh if you must know I’m a widower. Joey: Oh that’s terrible. I’m-I’m really sorry. Cliff: Yeah. Joey: Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again? Cliff: No. Joey: Excellent! Excellent! And uh, finally, are you into any weird stuff y’know, sexually? Cliff: No! Joey: Oooh, wrong answer. (Exits.) [Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, they’re brining in yet another woman.] Nurse: (calling to the woman) This room’s available. Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, that’s four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! I’m next! It’s my turn! It’s only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me I’m going to sue you! Not this hospital, I’m going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) he’s a lawyer! Ross: Uh Rach… Rachel: Go get back on that case honey! Nurse: I don’t think the next patient is very far along. Rachel: Okay, well then bring her in. (Another nurse wheels the next pregnant woman in.) Woman: OH….MY….GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, it’s Janice.) (Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.) Commercial Break [Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, continued from earlier.] Janice: I….can’t….believe this! Ross: And yet somehow it’s true! Janice: I mean this is so great! We’re gonna be baby buddies! (Does the laugh.) Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the baby’s ears! Man: (entering, carrying a pillow) Hi sweetie! Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I don’t think you’ve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologist’s office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.) Sid: I still can’t believe it! I’m the luckiest guy in the world! Ross: (softly) Really? Sid: (To Janice) What’d he say? Janice: Oh y’know what? You have to speak very loudly when you’re talking to Sid, because he’s almost completely deaf. Rachel: Oh! Ross: Oh there you go! Rachel: I get it! Janice: So? Congratulations you two, I didn’t even know you got married. Rachel: Oh we-we didn’t. Ross: No-no. We… Janice: What?! Ross: Um uh…We’re-we’re just having this baby together but uh, uh that’s all. Janice: Why?!! Ross: Uh well umm…we’re just not in that place, y’know? But we’re very excited about this. Janice: Oh. Well then shut me up. (Does the laugh.) Rachel: Just tell me how. Janice: Uh-oh, I feel another one coming. (She makes a sound like a goose during the contraction.) Ross: Sid you lucky deaf bastard. [Scene: Outside Room 816, Joey is briefing Phoebe on Cliff.] Phoebe: What else? What else? Joey: Uh, well he’s 33. Phoebe: Oh. Ah-uh. Joey: A widower. Phoebe: Oh. Joey: He seemed like a stand up guy. Oh, and he’s not into anything weird sexually. Phoebe: Enter Pheebs. [Scene: Another Hospital Room, Chandler and Monica enter and start making out.] Chandler: Should we tell Rachel there’s an empty private room right next door to hers? Monica: We could, or we can have sex in it. Chandler: Well let me think about that, while I remove my pants! (They start making out again.) Monica: (lying down on the bed) Okay mister! Fertilize me! (Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.) Monica: Does that sound like Janice? Chandler: If it’s not, then there’s two of them. And that would mean it’s the end of the world! [Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.] Monica: Hey! Ross: Hey! Chandler: Hi. Rachel: Oh hi. Monica: I can’t believe this is taking so long. How are you doing? Rachel: Oh not bad. Do you know that feeling when you’re trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass? Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear—(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)—Mother of God it’s true! Janice: Chandler Bing! Chandler: Jan-Janice! Ross: Not just Janice, Janice in labor, contracting and everything. Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler. Chandler: Janice I didn’t even know you were pregnant! Who’s the unwitting human who’s essence you’ve stolen? Janice: It’s you. This is yours. Chandler: What?! Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We haven’t slept together in years! (Laughs again.) Chandler: That’s funny. Does it-does it hurt? Does the labor hurt? [Scene: Room 816, Phoebe is making her move on Cliff.] Phoebe: Okay I’ve got one for you, if you had too which one would you rather eat, a seeing eye dog or a talking gorilla? Cliff: I’d have to say…the talking gorilla, because at least I can explain to him that you’re making me eat him. Phoebe: Somebody went to college. Wow. (Cliff gets uncomfortable) What is it? I’m sorry. (She moves her arm, which was resting on the same pillow his leg is.) Cliff: No, I’m sorry. It’s just my foot itches like crazy. Phoebe: Oh, I’ll get it. (She gets up and grabs a spoon.) Cliff: Wow! I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me. Phoebe: Relax, it’s not like we’re forking. [Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.] Rachel: Oh that’s five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesn’t she want to come out? Ross: Y’know what I think it is? I think you’ve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesn’t want to leave. Rachel: Oh. Look at you making up crap for me. Oh God! (Starts another contraction as Dr. Long enters.) Dr. Long: Twenty-one hours, you’re a hero. Rachel: Doctor you gotta do something! I think you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fre up in there and just smoke it out. Dr. Long: Actually, I think you’re ready to go to the delivery room. Rachel: What? Dr. Long: Ten centimeters, you’re about to become a mom. Rachel: My God. Okay. (Another woman enters.) Ha-ha-ha bat ya! Sucker! [Scene: Room 816, Phoebe and Cliff are eating some pudding with spoons.] Cliff: Is this the same spoon that was in my cast? (Smells it.) Phoebe: Y’know what? This one is. (Eats another spoonful of pudding as Cliff sees something on TV.) Cliff: Oh my God! That’s the doctor who was in my room before! Phoebe: Huh. Okay, Mr. Perkazet. Cliff: I’m telling you! The guy from that show was here in my room, asking me all these weird questions! Phoebe: Cliff, do you really believe that a character from a TV show was here in your room? Joey: (entering) Rachel’s having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, I’m a neurologist. Cliff: That-that’s him! You know him? Phoebe: Okay. Okay. I—Okay umm…this…I-I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you. Umm y’know, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than I’m coming off right now. Cliff: I don’t believe this. You got him to pretend he was some fake doctor? Joey: Fake? Excuse me? Hello? (Taps the TV screen.) Cliff: And then you tried to make me think that I was crazy. Phoebe: You’re right, that was wrong. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over? Cliff: I don’t think so. Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brother’s triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do prn! Phoebe: Uh Joey, we’re trying to dial down the crazy. Joey: Right! Phoebe: Umm, look we don’t, we don’t really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I don’t know about you but that doesn’t happen to me a lot. Cliff: It doesn’t happen to me either. Joey: Me neither. [Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is finally giving birth.] Dr. Long: Push. Push. Come on push for five seconds. 5…4… Rachel: 3-2-1 oh!! Dr. Long: Okay, the next contraction should be in about twenty seconds. Rachel: I can’t. I can’t push anymore, I can’t. Ross: Sweetie you’re doing great. Rachel: Oh God twenty seconds my ass!! Dr. Long: Here we go! Okay, keep pushing! Wait! I see something. Ross: What? You do? You do? (Looks) Oh my God! Rachel: Don’t say, "Oh my God!" Oh my God what? Ross: What is that? Dr. Long: It’s the baby’s buttock, she’s breech. Ross: Oh thank God, I thought she had two heads. Rachel: Oh God. Is she gonna be okay? Dr. Long: She’s gonna be fine. Okay, she’s in a more difficult position so you’re gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push! Ross: Go! Dr. Long: Rachel you’re gonna have to push even harder, nothing’s happening! Rachel: I’m sorry, I can’t! Ross: Yes you can! Rachel: I can’t! Ross: Hey! Hey! Come on! You can! I know you can do this! Let’s go! Rachel: I can’t. Please, you do it for me. Ross: No! Come on let’s—One more time! One final push! Ready? 1…2…3! (Rachel pushes so hard her head snaps up head-butting Ross and knocking him down.) Dr. Long: Good! Ross: (from the floor) Keep pushing! Rachel: Are you okay? Ross: You have no idea how much this hurts. (All of the women in the room turn and glare at him.) Keep going! Keep going! Dr. Long: Here we go! Ross: Oh! Oh! She’s upside down but she’s coming! She’s coming! Rachel: Oh God! Ross: Oh! Oh my God oh! Oh my God she’s here. (The newest friend cries.) Ross: Oh she’s…she’s perfect. Rachel: Oh, she’s so tiny. (Starts crying) Where’d she go? Ross: Oh it’s okay. They’re just-they’re just wrapping her up. Rachel: Okay. Well be careful with her, she’s really tiny. Dr. Long: Here she is! (Dr. Long hands her to Rachel.) Rachel: Oh hey you. Thanks for coming out of me. (The baby cries.) I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, she’s looking at me. Hi! I know you. Dr. Long: Do we have a name yet? Rachel: No, not yet. Dr. Long: That’s fine, for now we’ll just call her Baby Girl Green. Rachel: Oh no, Baby Girl Geller-Green. (Ross and Rachel look into each other’s eyes and kiss.) Rachel: Hello baby girl. Commercial Break [Scene: The Recovery Room, Ross is taking pictures of Rachel holding the baby as the rest of the gng enters.] Phoebe: Can we come in? Ross: Oh, come in. Phoebe: Hi! Joey: There she is! Phoebe: Oh, she’s so beautiful. Rachel: Here. (Hands her to Monica.) Monica: Oh my God! She’s amazing. Oh, oh I’m so glad you guys got drunk and had sex! Chandler: It’s incredible, I mean one minute she’s inside you and then 47 hours later here she is. Joey: (taking the baby) She looks so real! (The g*ng looks at him.) Y’know what I mean! She’s this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and…uh-oh. Rachel: What? Joey: Oh no-no, no for I second there I counted six fingers, but one was from the other hand so we’re good. Phoebe: Okay, my turn. My turn. (Joey hands her to Phoebe.) Oh! You’re so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! (Pause) I won’t. (Rachel starts crying again.) Monica: What’s the matter? Rachel: Oh nothing I… Sorry, I just can’t stop crying. Ross: The doctor says it’s completely normal with all the hormones. Plus, you-you’re sleep deprived. Rachel: So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I don’t see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. (Starts to cry harder.) Joey: What’s the matter now? Rachel: I was reliving it. Phoebe: Ohhh. (Hands her back to Rachel.) Chandler: So, do you know what you’re gonna call her yet? Phoebe: Oh, wait a minute it’s not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original! Ross: Uh actually, we-we’ve narrowed it down to two names. Rachel: Yeah, and y’know what? I love them both, so why don’t you just pick one and that’ll be it. Ross: Wow! Umm, okay uh…everyone…this…is Isabella. (Rachel starts crying.) What? Rachel: That’s not her name! I’m sorry, she just doesn’t feel like an Isabella. Chandler: So then I guess Ferdinad is out. Joey: What was the other one Ross? Ross: Umm, Delilah. Rachel: Oh great! Suddenly she sounds like a biblical whore. Ross: So I guess we’re back to uh, Baby Girl. Phoebe: Yay! Rachel: Well what are we going to do? Monica: It’s okay honey, you’ll find a name. Ross: Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are going to be. Chandler: You do? Monica: Yeah, I’ve had them picked out since I was fourteen. Chandler: Oh no, it’s gonna be named after some snack or baked good isn’t it? Rachel: Well tell us! What are they? Monica: Umm, okay. If it’s a boy it’s Daniel. Rachel: And if it’s a girl? Monica: I don’t want to say. Rachel: Oh, just tell us! We’re not gonna want it! Monica: Okay. It’s Emma. Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I don’t want it. Monica: Take it. Rachel: What? Monica: It’s clearly an Emma. Rachel: Oh honey, but you love that name. Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides y’know, nothing goes with Bing. So I’m screwed. I mean… (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, that’s you. You’re our little Em. Oh what’s that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?! [Scene: A Janitorial Closet, Monica and Chandler are emerging slowly.] Chandler: That was amazing. Monica: I know. Hey, do you realize we may have just changed our lives forever? We may have just started a family. Nine months from now we can be here, having our own baby. Chandler: And if not, we got to do it on a bucket. [Scene: The Recovery Room, Rachel is putting Emma down for a nap.] Janice: (entering) Yoo-hoo! Aaron Litman-Neurolic would like to say hello to his future bride. Rachel: Ohhh! (Looks at Aaron and recoils in horror.) Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesn’t he? Janice: He’s a keeper. How are you feeling? Rachel: Oh, I’m fine. (Gasps in pain as she sits down.) Janice: Can I just say, I really admire what you’re doing. Just raising her all alone. Rachel: Oh, I’m not doing it alone. I have Ross. Janice: Oh, sure. Now. But what happens when he meets somebody else and gets married? Rachel: Well then he gets a divorce, it’s Ross! Janice: I’m telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say they’re gonna be there until they start their real family. Rachel: Well I—That’s never gonna happen with Ross. Janice: Oh well that’s what I thought about my first husband, now I’m lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs. Rachel: Really? Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own. Rachel: Well… That’s…y’know—That’s—We’ve been alone for the last twenty minutes we’re doing okay. Besides y’know what? I-I—Maybe we won’t be alone, ‘cause lately I-I—things have been happening between me and Ross, y’know? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Y’know? So it might be the…the beginning of something. Ross: (entering) Hey Janice! Janice: Oh hi! Ross: Who’s this little guy? (Gasps when he sees Aaron.) Janice: Say hello to Aaron, your future son-in-law. Ross: No-no. No. Janice: I’m gonna leave the three of you alone. Ross: Okay. Janice: Bye. (Exits.) Ross: Man! Did you see the kid on that nose? Rachel: Uh-huh. (Ross takes off his coat and sets in on a chair.) Y’know what I was, I was thinking about? Ross: Huh? Rachel: Umm…that kiss before we left the apartment. That was some-something huh? Ross: Yeah. Yeah, it really was. But we…we gotta be careful. We…we can’t let that happen again, y’know? Rachel: (pause) Right. Ross: I mean we don’t want to go down that road do we? Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. That’s why I brought it up. (Pause) They didn’t have any sodas? Ross: Oh my God! I’m sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot. Rachel: That’s all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins. [Scene: Outside the Nursery, Ross is looking at Emma as Phoebe walks up.] Phoebe: Is she in there? Ross: Yeah. She’s putting her down now, that’s her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.) Phoebe: Oh! Ross: Look at Emma! Phoebe: I just can’t decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel? Ross: Oh what are you kidding? She’s gorgeous, it’s all Rachel. (Pause) Phoebe: I’m sorry, for the last time, why aren’t you two together again? (Silence from Ross.) No, I know. I know, because you’re not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are. Ross: It’s…it’s complicated okay? Phoebe: Yeah that’s true. Yeah, you love her. You always have. You have a child together. There is no right answer. Ross: Look, we’ve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) It’s just if-if we got together again and it didn’t work out…I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything—(Starts to cry.) Oh that’s…now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I we’re doing really, we’re doing really well right now. Phoebe: I know. I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it. Ross: Yeah, exactly. Phoebe: Right. (Pause) Or you might get everything you’ve wanted since you were fifteen. [Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is in bed as Joey enters.] Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices she’s wiping her eyes.) What’s the matter? Rachel: Nothing. Joey: What is it? Hey! Rachel: Really it’s nothing. I’m just… Joey: Rach come on, what? Rachel: I’ve just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone. Joey: What are you talking about alone? What about Ross? Rachel: Oh please, he’ll be with his real family, the twins and little miss new boobs. Joey: Okay, how long was I watching that woman? Rachel: I’m just saying that y’know, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and…he’s gonna have his own life. Right? Joey: Yeah, I guess so. Rachel: I just never thought I would raise this baby all by myself. Pretty dumb huh? Joey: Hey, listen to me, listen to me…you are never ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise that’s not gonna happen. Rachel: Joey. Honey what would I do without you? (They hug.) Joey: You don’t have to worry about that okay? (Pause) Rachel: Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? They’re right on that chair under Ross’s coat. Joey: Sure. Rachel: Okay. (He moves Ross’s coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that it’s an engagement ring.) Joey: My God. Rachel: Joey. (He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.) Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay. (Joey is stunned.) [Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachel’s room.] [Fade to black.] Closing Credits	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "08x23 - 08x24 - The One Where Rachel Has A Baby"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Sherry Bilsing-Graham & Ellen Plummer Transcribed by: Eric Aasen -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Scene: Rachel’s Room, Joey moves Ross’s coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that it’s an engagement ring.] Rachel: Joey. (He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.) Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay. (Joey is stunned.) [Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachel’s room.] [Cut back into Rachel’s room.] Rachel: So uh…I guess we should…make it official huh? Joey: Uh… Look Rach…(Ross enters.) Hey Ross is here! Hey look! It’s my good friend Ross. Hey Ross. Ross: Hey Joey. (To Rachel) Hey you. Rachel: Hey you. Joey: Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but I’m really more of a candy guy. (Laughs.) Ross: You’re weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something. Rachel: Uh yeah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too. Ross: Uh Joey, can you give us just a minute? Joey: No. Ross: What? Joey: Oh, I’m sorry. I meant no. Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look who’s here! Mr. Geller: Where’s my granddaughter? I’ve been practicing my magic tricks. Chandler: He pulled a quarter out of my ear! Ross: Hey, where’s uh, where’s mom? Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy. Monica: Oh, Aunt Liddy’s coming? That means we get five dollars each! Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.) Chandler: Okay. Wow. Ross: Uh Dad, Emma’s in the nursery. I’ll take you now. If you want, but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you. Rachel: I know, I still need to talk to you. Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you. Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh and I need to talk to you. Monica: About what? Phoebe: To see if know what these guys are talking about. Opening Credits [Scene: Outside the Nursery, everyone but Rachel is standing and looking into the window.] Monica: Isn’t she beautiful? Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild. Ross: What about Ben? Mr. Geller: Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. (To Monica, mouths) Wow. Phoebe: (taking Ross aside) Have umm, have you thought anymore about you and Rachel? Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room. Phoebe: Yay! It’s so exciting! Wow, you could’ve done that with us there. Ross: Yeah right. Phoebe: Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you can’t talk to Rachel. Ross: What?! When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys? Phoebe: Oh please! Just before when you were asleep in the lounge! That Armenian family was watching you instead of the TV. Oh, that reminds me. That Mr. Hasmeje still has my Gameboy. Joey: (taking Chandler aside) Hey Chandler, can I talk to you for a second? Chandler: Sure. Joey: Dude I just did something terrible. Chandler: That was you?! I thought it was Jack! Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me! Chandler: What?! Why does she think that? Joey: Because it kinda looked like I did. Chandler: Again, what?! Joey: Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand… Chandler: As we all are at some point during the day. Joey: It wasn’t my ring! It fell out of Ross’s jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing! Chandler: Ross had a ring?! And he was gonna propose? Joey: I guess. Chandler: And you did it first?! This is gonna kll him! You know how much he loves to propose! Joey: I know! I know it’s awful. Chandler: Well, what did she say? Joey: (happily) She said yes. Chandler: Does Ross know? Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him? Chandler: Well maybe you don’t have to tell him anything. Joey: Oh, I like that. Yeah… Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass! Joey: (laughs) Now let’s not get carried away. (He walks away as Monica comes over and hugs Chandler from behind.) Monica: I want a baby. Chandler: Honey, we’ve been over this. I need to be facing the other way. Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again it’ll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closet’s still available? Chandler: I’m so tired. (She starts kissing him.) Yeah okay, but no foreplay. Monica: Deal! [Back in front of the nursery window.] Ross: Dad seriously! Y’know you really should see someone about that! Mr. Geller: Noted. Ross: I wanna go talk to Rachel for a minute, are you gonna be okay alone for a bit? Mr. Geller: Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever. Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm… (He turns Mr. Geller’s head to look at Emma.) [Scene: Rachel’s Room, Phoebe is entering.] Phoebe: Hey! Rachel: Hi. Phoebe: Are you all right? Rachel: Uhh… I think I just got engaged. Phoebe: Oh my God! He did it? Rachel: Well…did you know he was gonna ask me? Phoebe: Are you kidding? I’m like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group. Rachel: And you really think this is a good idea? Phoebe: I just talked him into it, don’t tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people. Rachel: I just don’t know! It just doesn’t feel right. Phoebe: Why?! You two are so meant to be together, everybody thinks so. Rachel: Really?! Even Ross? Phoebe: Especially Ross! Joey: (entering) Oh uh, hey Pheebs. Uh y’know what? I’ll-I’ll come back later. (He goes to leave but runs into Ross who’s entering.) Ross: Wow! Kind of uh, kind of a full house here. I’ll guess just…I’ll come back. (Ross exits followed by Joey.) Phoebe: There he goes, your fiancée. Rachel: I guess so. Phoebe: Although he does play with himself in his sleep. Rachel: I can’t say that I’m surprised. [Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitor’s closet door.] Ross: Dad, what are you doing? Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex. (Ross turns to look at Joey.) Joey: It can’t be me, I’m standing right here. Mr. Geller: Wanna peek? Ross: No! Mr. Geller: Come on! Ross: Y’know what? I don’t like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (Walks away.) Joey: (To Ross) We’re not peeking? (Follows him.) Mr. Geller: Well I’m peeking. (He peeks.) Oh my God! Chandler: Hello sir, you know Monica. [Scene: Rachel’s Room, she is taking the ring out of Ross’s jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.] Joey: Hey uh, is it okay to come in? Rachel: Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I…it’s beautiful I love it! Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, there’s something I gotta tell ya. (There’s a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.) Rachel: Hey! Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again? Rachel: Yeah! Hi Emma. Hey, why do you think she won’t take my breast? Nurse: It’s all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but don’t worry. It’ll happen. Joey: (watching) Yowsa! (Looks away.) Rachel: Okay sweetie, you can do it. Just open up and put it in your mouth. Joey: Dear Lord. Rachel: I’m sorry honey, what were you saying? Joey: Oh uh-uh yeah, I think that… Rachel: Oh look, she’s pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesn’t she look scared? Joey: Y’know, I don’t really know her. Nurse: Why don’t we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.) Joey: (To God) Are you kidding me?! Rachel: It’s just so frustrating! Why doesn’t she want my breast?! Joey: I don’t know! Maybe she’s crazy! (Storms out.) [Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.] Phoebe: Oh hey! Wait up! Ross: Hi! Phoebe: Congratulations! I didn’t want to say anything in front of Joey ‘cause I didn’t know if he knew yet. Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on let’s give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier. Phoebe: No! No, that you and Rachel are engaged! Ross: What? Phoebe: Oh, it’s a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We haven’t done the secret thing in a long time. Ross: Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didn’t propose. Phoebe: Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us that you were a doctor? Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Y’know what? I’m just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself. Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that she’s sleeping.) Should we wake her up? Ross: No! No, come on let her sleep! She’s so exhausted. Phoebe: And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is wearing.) Ross: What? (Motions for Phoebe to go outside with him.) Oh my God! She-she thinks we’re engaged! Why? Why? Why would she think we’re engaged?! Phoebe: Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? Y’know Ross doctors are supposed to be smart. Ross: I didn’t give her that ring! Phoebe: Really? Ross: No! Phoebe: So whose ring is it? Ross: It’s mine. Phoebe: Is it an engagement ring? Ross: Yes! Phoebe: But you didn’t give it to her? Ross: No! Phoebe: But you were going to propose? Ross: No!! Phoebe: Huh, I might be losing interest in this. Ross: Look. Look, my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to propose to Rachel, but all I wanted to do is if she maybe…kinda…wanted ah…start…things up again. Phoebe: Oh, what beautiful lukewarm sentiment. Ross: Look, I didn’t want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didn’t want to either. But I don’t, I don’t understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people? Phoebe: No! No, she said you actually proposed to her. Ross: Well I didn’t! I didn’t propose! (Pause) Unless uh… (Pause) Did I? I haven’t slept in forty hours and…it does sound like something I would do. Commercial Break [Scene: The Janitor’s Closet, Chandler and Monica are trying to figure out what to do now.] Chandler: Look, we can’t stay in here forever. Monica: Oh, I still can’t believe my dad saw us having sex! He didn’t make it to one of piano recitals, but this he sees! Chandler: This is okay. We’re all adults here; there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Now, let’s put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.) Monica: Hi Dad! I can still call you that right? Mr. Geller: Of course. I’ll always be your dad. Chandler: I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there, that wasn’t for fun. Monica: It wasn’t fun?! Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would you—Wh-why… (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just don’t want you to think that we’re animals who do it whenever we want. Mr. Geller: Oh, I don’t think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time. Monica: The truth is, Dad, we’re-we’re trying. Mr. Geller: What? Monica: Yeah, we’re trying to get pregnant. Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) I’ll guard the door! Monica: Well, that’s okay dad, we-we can wait until later. Mr. Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! I don’t think so! Aren’t you ovulating? Monica: Daddy?! Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. That’s how I got my bad hip. Chandler: That’s funny, this conversation’s how I got the bllet hole in my head. Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was… Monica: Daddy! I don’t think we need to hear about the specific positions you and mom had sex. Mr. Geller: You’re right, you’re right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good. Monica: I don’t feel good right now. Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor? Chandler: Seriously sir, my brains? All over the wall. [Scene: Rachel’s Room, Monica is entering.] Monica: Hey. Rachel: Hey. I need to tell you something. Monica: Well, now’s a good time. I’m on my way to have my ears cut off. Rachel: Joey asked me marry him. Monica: What? Rachel: Joey proposed to me. Monica: Is he crazy?! You just had Ross’s baby! Rachel: Well, I-I said yes. Monica: What?! Are you crazy? You just had Ross’s baby! It’s-it’s so inappropriate. No, it’s worse than that. It’s wrong. It’s… It is bigger than mine! (Rachel’s engagement ring.) Rachel: I know. Days of Our Lives, thank you very much. Monica: You can’t marry him! Rachel: Why not? I don’t want to do this alone! And he’s such a sweet guy and he loves me so much. Monica: Well do you love him? Rachel: Sure. Monica: Sure? Rachel: Yeah, I mean whatever. Monica: Honey, the question is…do you really want to marry Joey? Rachel: No. No, I don’t. Could you be a dear and go tell him? [Scene: A Hallway, Chandler is following Joey.] Chandler: You still haven’t told Rachel you weren’t really proposing? Joey: No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she took her breast out. Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her what’s going on! And what did it look like?! Joey: I didn’t look at it. Stupid baby’s head was blocking most of it. Chandler: Go and tell Rachel right now before Ross finds out. Joey: Look, it’s not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I don’t want to hurt her. Chandler: Okay, look, just do it gently. Joey: You’re right. You’re right. I-I’ll go tell her now before Ross finds out and I’ll be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out. [Scene: Rachel’s Room, Ross is entering.] Ross: Hey. Rachel: Hey. Ross: Listen, I um… I heard about the engagement. Rachel: Surprised? Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um…I didn’t propose to you. Rachel: I know. Ross: I don’t think you do. Rachel: You didn’t propose to me. Joey did. Ross: Poor baby, you’re so tired. Rach, I didn’t propose to you, Joey didn’t propose to you, and Chandler didn’t propose to you. Rachel: Uh… You didn’t propose to me, Chandler didn’t propose to me, but Joey did. (Joey enters.) Ross: Joey proposed to you? Joey: I can come back. Ross: Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her? Joey: No. Rachel: Yes you did! Joey: Actually, technically, I didn’t. Rachel: Well then why did you give me a ring? Ross: Wait! Whoa-whoa, you…you gave her the ring? Joey: No! No, and I did not ask her to marry me! Rachel: Yes, you did! Joey: No, I didn’t! Rachel: Yes, you did! Joey: No, I didn’t! Rachel: Yes, you did! And don’t you say, "No, I didn’t!" Joey: Ahhh! Rachel: He was right there. He got down on one knee and proposed. Ross: Whoa! You were down on one knee? Joey: Yeah. Yeah, that looks bad. But I didn’t…I didn’t propose! Ross: Then what did happen? Rachel: Yeah, what did happen? Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing. Rachel: Yeah, but you said, "Will you marry me?" Joey: No, I didn’t! Rachel: Yes, you did! Joey: No, I didn’t! Rachel: Yes, you did—Oh my God you didn’t! (Screams) Well then why didn’t you tell me that before?! Joey: Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your breast out! Ross: Whoa! Hey! Whoa-whoa-whoa, you saw her breast?! Joey: (To Ross) I’ll tell you about it later. Be cool. Rachel: Well then Joey, what the hell were you doing with an engagement ring?! Joey: It wasn’t my ring! It’s Ross’s ring! That’s why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose. Ross: What?! Rachel: You were gonna propose to me? Ross: Uhh… No. (An awkward silence follows.) Joey: Well, this is awkward. {See? I told you so.} Ross: But I-I was going to see if y’know, maybe you uh, start dating again but that—I mean that-that was all, Rach. Joey: Dude, step up! I proposed. Ross: No, you didn’t! Joey: Oh that’s right. There’s a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier. (There’s a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.) Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! She’s hungry. Why don’t we give this another try? Rachel: Okay. Ross: (To Joey) I can’t believe you told her I was going to propose! Joey: I can’t believe you’re not going to propose! Ross: Hey, I’m not going to rush into anything! Joey: Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down! Rachel: Oh my God! Ross: What? Rachel: She’s doing it Look, she’s breast-feeding look! Joey: (looking at the ceiling) Ah, it’s beautiful. Nurse: I’ll come back for her later. Rachel: Okay. Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.) Rachel: Oh wow, this feels weird. Ross: Good weird? Rachel: Wonderful weird. Joey: Y’know what you guys? I’m uh, I’m gonna go too. And uh, I’m sorry about everything. Rachel: Honey don’t worry, it was my mistake. Joey: No, Rach, I should’ve told you sooner. It’s just that…Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.) Rachel: She’s perfect. Ross: We’re so lucky. Rachel: We really are. Ross: Look, I-I know it’s not a proposal and I don’t know where you are, but with everything that’s been going on and with Emma and…I’ve been feeling… Rachel: I know. I know. I’ve feeling… Ross: Yeah? Rachel: Yeah. (Laughs nervously) Ross: Okay, well, that… Wow, okay, well, umm…then maybe, at least we can, we can talk about us again. Rachel: Yeah, maybe. Ross: Well good, okay. I-I, kind of think y’know if we…if… You’re wearing the ring. (Pause.) Rachel: Wh-what’s that? Ross: And you told Phoebe you were engaged. Rachel: I’m sorry, what? Ross: When you thought Joey proposed did…did you say yes? Closing Credits [Scene: Outside the Janitor’s Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.] Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.) Monica: (walking by with Chandler.) Hey dad! Chandler: Hey. Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you. End	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x01 - The One Where No One Proposes"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Dana Klein Borkow Transcribed by: Eric Aasen -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Scene: Rachel’s Hospital Room, Ross is sitting next to Rachel.] Ross: You said you’d marry Joey? Rachel: Okay you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional, I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time you and I got married! (Pause) I’m not helping. Ross: So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby? Rachel: That is right and traditionally the daddy is supposed to give the mummy a present but I am prepared to let that go. Ross: So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again, you were engaged to my best friend. Rachel: Well—Really? I thought Chandler was your best friend. Ross: Well, Chandler’s my oldest friend, but Joey’s my—No! Ah! (points at Rachel) Rachel: Ooooo! Joey: (Enters) Hey you guys I’m gonna take off. I just wanted to let you guys know, say goodbye. Ross: Rachel said she’d marry you?! Joey: (He looks around the room) This isn’t the right room, sorry folks. (leaves) Opening Credits [Scene: Ross and Rachel’s, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "It’s a Boy!"] Monica: Ok, I don’t wanna be negative so I’ll say that most of the signs you bought are good. Phoebe: No they ran out of "It’s a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between it’s and a) See? Monica: (looking at Chandler sleeping with a balloon in his mouth) So sexy. (Waking him up.) Honey. Chandler: Yea yea. (Pulls the balloon out of his mouth) Monica: Honey why don’t you go lie down. Chandler: No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office (Pulls another balloon out of his mouth) Am I producing them? Joey: Why’re you so tired? Chandler: Couldn’t sleep last night you know, then I started worrying about this big divisional meeting that I have later today, the more I worried about it the more I couldn’t sleep. Y’know? I was like, if I fall asleep now I’ll get six hours sleep, but if I fall asleep now I’ll get five hours sleep. Not matter what I did I couldn’t fall asleep. Joey: You know what you should’ve done, you should have told yourself that little story. Rachel: (enters with Emma) Hi! Everyone: Hi, welcome home! Monica: Phoebe did the signs! Rachel: Oh you guys thanks for doing this. Phoebe: Look at all the stuff people sent! Rachel: Oh Ah! (Sees a big stuffed gorilla) Oh my gosh there’s something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think… (Reads the card) Oh you guys I love it. Joey: Hey so where’s Ross? Rachel: He’s downstairs getting the rest of the stuff out of the cab. Joey: Is he still mad at us? Rachel: Well, you more then me, but he can’t stay to mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby. Joey: That’s not fair! I can’t do that. Rachel: Yeah, I’m not so sure you should be here when he comes up. Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didn’t think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said he’d be over it by now. Chandler: Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla. [Scene: A Boardroom, Chandler keeps drifting off to sleep at his meeting.] Ms. McKenna: The numbers we are seeing New York, Chicago, and London are consistently solid, but many of our officers have reported disappointing fields. (Chandler drifts off and his arm slips off the table and he wakes back up.) Ms. McKenna: Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you I’ll go straight to my forty two point plan. (Chandler leans over to fall asleep on the man’s shoulder next to him, only the man catches his attempt.) Chandler: Walter (nods). [Scene: Ross and Rachel’s, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.] Phoebe: She’s just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy. Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket. Ross: (enters from the bed room) Okay I put most of the stuff away. Rachel: Oh great, the pacifiers? Ross: In the closet. Rachel: The burping clogs? Ross: Linen closet. Rachel: The diapers? Ross: In the hospital. Phoebe: Wow you guys got a hospital? Fancy! Ross: No I left the diapers at the hospital! There’s some in the bag but I’ll run out and get some more. Rachel: Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin? Ross: Sure what kind? Rachel: Umm let me think...What do I want, what d-o I w-a-n-t... Ross: Please take your time, it’s an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin. Rachel: Blueberry. Ross: Blueberry it is. Rachel: Thanks. Monica: Wow, he’s really not letting this go, is he? Rachel: God how long do you think that’s gonna last? Phoebe: I dunno, well he got over the "We were on a break" thing really quickly. Rachel: Y’know I can’t even worry about that right now, cause I got the cutie little baby, oh I can’t believe how much I love her, I can’t get enough of her, like right now I miss her. I actually miss her. Phoebe: You know that’s… that’s her. Rachel: Oh god look at her sleeping. Oh, I love her so much! Oh, I think I’m gonna wake her up. Phoebe: Oh no, Rach, no no, you know you’re never supposed to wake a sleeping baby. Rachel: Well I can do whatever I want! I made her! (Waking Emma up.) Come on little girl, hi! (Emma starts crying) Phoebe: I can say I told you so but she’s kinda doing that for me. Rachel: Oh I’m sorry mummy’s so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep. Shh. Shhh! Go back to sleep (Emma continues crying in the background) Monica: Breaks your heart doesn’t it Phoebe: It really does… how long do you think we have to stay? [Scene: A Boardroom, Chandler’s meeting continues.] Ms. McKenna: Ok if everyone’s on board, it’s settled, Chandler, (Walter puts his hand on Chandlers hand, Chandler sleeping puts his hand on top of his, he then wakes up and pulls his hand away) Chandler? Chandler: Yep. Ms. McKenna: Are you on board? Chandler: (not knowing what he’s saying yes to) Yes. Ms. McKenna: Then, problem solved. Chandler will be running our office in Tulsa. You’re gonna love Oklahoma. (Chandler smiles and nods then realizes what he’s agreed to.) [Scene: Ross and Rachel’s, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.] Phoebe: Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe! Monica: Alright here’s something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side. Rachel: Ok. (Starts swinging Emma rapidly and she stops crying) Monica: It worked! Rachel: Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it won’t stop crying. Monica: Umm, she Rach, not it, she. Rachel: Yeah, I’m not so sure. Monica: Oh my god, I am losing my mind. Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross! [Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Rachel’s muffin.] Ross: Hey gn, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.) gn: Diapers huh? Ross: Yep. gn: So I guess Rachel had you baby? Ross: Yep, can you believe it? gn: Nope! I still can’t believe she slept with you in the first place. Ross: Huh? Ooh (laughs) you mean like a… Huh? Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing it’s Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know you’re pissed at me, but we have to talk about this. Ross: Ah actually we don’t. (Ross walks off) Joey: Fine, fine okay. But I gotta say technically, I didn’t even do anything wrong. Ross: (turns back) What! (Angrily) You didn’t do anything wrong?! Joey: I said I didn’t technically. Ross: Okay let’s put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel. Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I don’t really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying? Ross: And I can even understand that you couldn’t tell Rachel, but why couldn’t you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didn’t. Joey: I know I should’ve. (Makes quote marks again.) "I’m sorry." Ross: Not using it right, Joe. (He brings his hands in closer to his face then does it again.) Ross: I’m gonna go. Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he can’t leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this. Ross: Give me the bag. Joey: No, look, I don’t know what else to do. I said I’m sorry! Ross: Joey! Joey: You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or ht me. Ross: I’m not gonna ht you. Joey: Why not? You’ll feel better! I’ll feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes. Ross: No I don’t. Joey: A little bit. Ross: No. Joey: Little bit. Ross: No! Joey: (excited) A little bit more. Ross: Give me the bag. Joey: No, ht me Ross: Give me the bag. Joey: ht me. Ross: Joey, give me the bag. Joey: ht me! Ross: Joe I’m not kidding… Joey: (interrupting) ht me, ht me. Ross: No! Joey: (shouts) ht me! ht me! (Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to gn, and gn has a huge smile on his face.) Ross: You ducked!! Joey: I’m sorry! It was a reflex! Ross: Oh my god, this really hurts!!! Joey: I couldn’t help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesn’t and Joey punches Ross. gn is amused.) Ross: What is the matter with you?!? Joey: You were supposed to duck!!! Why didn’t you duck? Ross: Why don’t we talk about this on the way to the hospital? Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while we’re there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops." Commercial Break [Scene: Ross and Rachel’s, Emma is still crying.] Monica: Try feeding her again. Rachel: I already fed her. Monica: I know, that’s why I said again! Phoebe: Alright you guys, we can’t turn on each other, Okay? That’s just what she wants. Chandler: (enters) Hey. Monica: Hey. Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute? Rachel: Oh no, you guys, just stay here, I’m gonna go check her diaper, Pheebs you wanna come? Phoebe: Oh I’m kinda part of this. Chandler: Actually Pheebs its more of a husband and wife kinda thing Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler. (Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.) Monica: Okay what’s up Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux? Monica: Oh yeah (smiles). Chandler: Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma? Monica: What? Who says that? Chandler: People who’ve never ever been to Paris. Monica: What’s going on? Chandler: We’re moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face) Monica: Excuse me? Chandler: Okay, Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss, she asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there, and I was sleeping and apparently, said yes. Monica: (stands up angry) Tulsa, Oklahoma! Chandler: The Sooner State, whatever that is. Monica: Chandler, I don’t even wanna see the musical Oklahoma! Chandler: Really? Oh What A Beautiful Morning! Surrey With A Fringe On Top. Monica: Are you trying to tell me that we’re moving to Oklahoma, or that you’re gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise? Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monica’s not impressed.) I’ll get out of it. Monica: Thank you. Chandler: (hears Emma crying) What is wrong with Emma? Monica: Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was moving to Tulsa. [Scene: Ms. McKenna’s Office, Chandler enters.] Chandler: Umm ma’am, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I don’t think I can move to Tulsa. Ms. McKenna: What? Chandler: It’s a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said I’d move to Tulsa, I didn’t really know what I was saying. Ms. McKenna: You fell asleep? Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, ain’t that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, here’s the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she won’t go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is Italy—Please don’t make me go there! Ms. McKenna: Chandler, I… Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) That’s a picture of your daughter, isn’t it, well she’s lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. I’ll call you from Tulsa. (Exits.) [Scene: The Hospital, Joey is sitting in the lobby as Ross enters.] Joey: Hey, so how is it? Ross: I broke my thumb. Joey: Your thumb? That’s weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure you’re punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible. Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but can’t) Joey: You, you want me to help you with that? Ross: Why, does it look like I’m having trouble with my misshapen claw? (He hands Joey the form) Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but what’s it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher. Ross: Just Ross! Joey: It’s pretty, Okay date of birth? Ross: You know my birthday. Joey: Sure, May...tember. Ross: October 18th. Joey: Occupation? Dinosaurs. Ross: Actually I’m a palian… Dinosaurs is fine… the drawing is not. Joey: Alright, who do you want as your emergency contact? Ross: Ah, Rachel I guess. Joey: Okay, relationship, boy this could take a while. Ross: Just ah… just put roommate. Joey: Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, you’re gonna get together right? Ross: I don’t think that we are. Joey: But you two were supposed to be together. Ross: Well, I thought so too, but then she said she’d marry you. Joey: Come on, Ross, that didn’t mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody. Ross: Yeah that’s what she said. Joey: So? Ross: So I don’t wanna be just anybody. Joey: Wow. Ross: You know what, it’s, it’s better this way anyway. I mean I don’t know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. It’s just much easier if we’re just friends who have a kid. Joey: Really? Ross: Yeah. Joey: And you’re Okay with that? Ross: Yes. I mean, it’s what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. That’s why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) I’m fine. Joey: Hey, for what it’s worth, with Rachel I don’t think you’ll ever be just (Makes quote marks.) "anybody." Ross: Hey there you go! (Smiles because Joey used it correctly) Joey: (makes quote marks) "Thanks." (Ross looks away, not bothering) [Scene: Ross and Rachel’s, Emma continues to cry.] Rachel: Oh my God! How long has she been crying? Monica: About a week and a half. Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so I’m just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.) Monica: Rach, try holding her a different way. Rachel: You guys, I’m doing the best I can, anyone else is welcome to try. Phoebe: Alright, I’ll try, fine! Yes, Okay! Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe) Phoebe: Shh! Nothing works with this child! (Hands her back.) Rachel: Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I can’t even comfort my own baby! I’m the worst mother ever! Monica: You’re just new at this, it’ll get better, think about your first day at work. I mean, that couldn’t have been easy but you figured that out. Rachel: Yeah I don’t think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her. Monica: Okay I’ll take her, here. (Takes Emma) Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom) Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow) Monica: (To Emma) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Emma stops crying and falls asleep) Phoebe: (entering) Have I gone deaf? Monica: It worked! Ooh baby baby baby, ooh baby baby baby! Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed. Monica: I can’t believe it! She’s asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers! Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) I’m kidding. (She smiles wickedly.) Rachel: Oh my God! You got her to stop crying! Monica: Yes I did, I’m Monica, Super Aunt Rachel: You are the official baby crier stopper! Monica: Yes I am!! Rachel: You’re never leaving the apartment! Monica: Say what? Rachel: That’s your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here. Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no! Phoebe: Thankfully you don’t need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel let’s give it six to eight months (she leaves). Rachel: Okay so listen I’m gonna go lay down. Monica: What? Rachel: You know the book says that whenever she’s sleeping I should be sleeping so… (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down) Chandler: (entering, loudly) Hey! Monica: Shhh! We just got her to go to sleep Chandler: Oh so there can’t be any yelling. Monica: No. Chandler: We’re moving to Tulsa Monica: (loudly) What!? Chandler: Shhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! (Walks backwards towards the door) I can’t, I can’t hear you. (He runs out) [Scene: Ross and Rachel’s, Ross enters.] Ross: Hey. Rachel: Heeeeey, where have you been? (He shows her his thumb) What happened to you? Ross: Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him. Rachel: Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. (He sits) You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay? Ross: Okay. Rachel: You know what I really really want? Ross: What, Rach? Rachel: I wanna sleep, I wanna eat, I wanna take a shower, I mean before she wakes up and we gotta do this all over again. Ross: (smiles) Right. Rachel: I mean I got news for you mister, Emma? Not easy. Ross: Well, that’s what I’m here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that? Rachel: No its really okay… Monica! Monica: (comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Closing Credits [Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are sitting at one of the high tables.] Joey: You know, ah, I’ve been thinking about this and I gotta tell ya, it’s not my fault. It’s a natural instinct. Chandler: (enters) Hey, what you guys talking about? Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.) End	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x02 - The One Where Emma Cries"}	foreverdreaming
WRITTEN BY: Brian Buckner and Sebastian Jones DIRECTED BY: Roger Christiansen TRANSCRIBED BY: Ane B. J. [SCENE: Chandler and Monica's apartment] (Ross and Rachel enter) Rachel: Hi! Ross: Hey! So what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for? Chandler: Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa , so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated. Ross: Oh my God! Phoebe: What?! Rachel: What?! Ross: Monday?! Joey: How long do you have to go for? Chandler: They said it could be up to a year. Joey: A year?! Rachel: (To Monica) Do you have to go? Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.) Chandler: There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh? Joey: Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week. Chandler: I'm sorry buddy, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it. Joey: We were gonna go see the Jets! Ross: You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together! Chandler: Really? Ross: Not you. Joey: I can't believe you guys are moving. Phoebe: I call their apartment!!! Everyone: No!!! Ah!! Ahh!!! [INTRO] [SCENE: Central Perk] Joey: Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee) Rachel: Thank you Joey. You know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine. Ross: I went thru this with Ben and Carol. One cup of coffee won't affect your milk. Rachel: Yeah. Just to be sure I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener. Joey: (Laughs) Rachel: Every time? (She takes up her cell phone and starts dialing.) Joey: Uhuh. Ross: Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this. Rachel: All right, I trust you. (Continues to dial) Ross: Rachel, I can see you dialing! I don't understand why... Rachel: I'm on the phone! (On the phone) Dr. Wiener? (Ross and Rachel walk away) Joey: (Laughs) Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up. Joey: I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs) Phoebe: Look at you all grown up. Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot. Phoebe: You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date! Joey: I can do that, yeah. How is Friday? Phoebe: Done. Oh good, really? Joey: Yeah! Phoebe: Let's see! (Opens her address book.) Oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poophack. Joey: (Laughs) Poophack... (Laughs) Phoebe: Yeah... All right, well that rules out Lana Titweiller Joey: (Laughs) [SCENE: Chandler and Monica's apartment] Chandler: (Enters) Hey! Monica: Hey! Chandler: I've got good news! Monica: You got out of the whole Tulsa thing? Chandler: Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job. Monica: It's great! How? Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you. Monica: So you're gonna be gone four days a week? (Thinks about it.) No. Chandler: I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that? Monica: No. I can't be away from you for that long. Chandler: Really? Monica: Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year. Chandler: That's fast math! We could use you in Tulsa. Monica: Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you. Chandler: Hey, you said that without gagging! Monica: I know! (They high-five.) [SCENE: Ross and Rachel's apartment] Rachel: (On the phone) Excuse me? Oh yeah? Well, up yours too! (Hangs up) Ross: (Enters from his bedroom)Who the hell was that?! Rachel: Dr. Wiener. Ross: Rach, you can't call people at three in the morning. Rachel: Oh you know what, you sound just like his wife! Ross: Was there anything you did wrong with Emma? Rachel: Yes, of course there is! Okay? I'm not insane! Ross: Well, what was it? Rachel: Hiccups. Ross: Rach, I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up. Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name? Ross: Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dad. Rachel: Argh! Why does everything happen to me?! Ross: Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well. Rachel: What? What, do you mean you're not feeling well? What do you have? Is it Rubella? Because don't go near Emma, she has not had that sht. Ross: You know? Come to think of it, it does feel Rubella-like! (Walks back into his room.) Rachel: (Grabs the phone and stars dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!! Ross: (Comes back into the living room) Rachel!!! Rachel: Great! Now he's gonna know it was me! [SCENE: Joey's apartment] Phoebe: (Enters) Hey! Joey: Hey! Phoebe: So how is this for our big double date tonight? (She is all dressed up) Joey: (Realizes that he has forgotten all about the double date) Oh my God! Phoebe: Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for. Joey: Yeah, so you found someone for me. You didn't forget? Phoebe: Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she' not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy. Joey: No. Phoebe: Come on, give me something. What's his name? Joey: Mike. Phoebe: Mike? Okay! What's his last name? Joey: Damnit! Is there no mystery left in romance anymore!? Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours. Joey and Phoebe: (Ad-lib good-byes) (Phoebe leaves) Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there! [SCENE: Chandler and Monica's apartment] Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee? Monica: Excuse me? Chandler: I know what she's talking about. Rachel: We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it. Monica: Why don't you go see Dr. Gettleman? Rachel: Ross said he died. Monica: He didn't die. I saw his daughter last week. Said he was fine. Her on the other hand, botched Botox. Rachel: Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died. Monica: Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist. Chandler: He saw a therapist? Monica: Yeah, he used to have this recurring nightmare, just really freaked him out. Rachel: Why? What was it? Monica: That I was going to eat him. [SCENE: Central Perk] (Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe) Joey: MIKE!!! Mike: Yeah? Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him) [SCENE: Restaurant] Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks. Joey: Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike. Mike: I am Mike. Joey: Atta boy! (Phoebe and Mary Ellen enter.) Joey: Okay, look... Everyone: (Ad-lib hellos) Phoebe: Joey, this is Mary Ellen Jenkins. So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other anyway? Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that. Joey: (Laughs) From school. Mike: Yeah, we met in college. (Off Joey's look) I mean, high school. Phoebe: Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days? Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer. Joey: Mike, 'attorney at law'! Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice. Joey: What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me. Mike: I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will. Phoebe: Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so... Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike. Mary Ellen: I thought you thought he was still a lawyer. Joey: No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail. [SCENE: Chandler and Monica's apartment] (Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop) Monica: Hey! Chandler: Hey! Monica: What are you doing? Chandler: Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa. Monica: That's so sweet. Find anything? Chandler: Slim Pickings. Monica: Nothing, huh? Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite. Monica: 'Slim Pickings'...That is so cheesy. Chandler: 'So Cheesy' also has an opening. Monica: Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something. Chandler: Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa. Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!' [SCENE: Pediatrician's office] Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma. Receptionist: Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient, he should be out shortly. Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep. Ross: Thanks doctor. Dr. Gettleman: Would you like a lollypop? Ross: You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive! [SCENE: Restaurant] Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you. Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike ht my mom with a car. Mike: No, I didn't. Joey: That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great! Mary Ellen Wait, is your mom okay? Joey: Please, we're trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Mary Ellen.) Mary Ellen: Wow, you're a lot nicer on 'Days of Our Lives'. Mike: 'Days of Our Lives'! That's why you look so familiar! Phoebe: What?! Mike: What?! Joey: What?! Phoebe: Do you not know each other? Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?! Phoebe: Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have? Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six! Joey: What are you doing? I said seven! (Holds up six fingers.) (Realizes his mistake) Argh!!! Phoebe: Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger? Joey: Because I forgot about our date, I'm so sorry. Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't ht his mother with a car. Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose. Mary Ellen: Hey! Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating! Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!! Phoebe: I'm out of here (She leaves) Mike: It was nice meeting you! Joey: (To Mary Ellen) You're leaving too? Mary Ellen: I'll stay if you can tell me my name. Joey: Good night! [SCENE: Chandler and Monica's apartment] Chandler: Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do. Monica: You're right. (Pause) Maybe I shouldn't go. Chandler: What? Monica: So Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant, Javo (sp?). It's just a little outside of Tulsa. Chandler: How far outside? Monica: Manhattan. Chandler: And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job. Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Chandler: What happened to 'you can't live without me four days a week'? Monica: Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend. Chandler: I think you should take the job. Monica: Really? Chandler: Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey. Monica: That's the nicest anyone has ever said to me! (Ross and Rachel enter with Emma.) Ross: Hey! Monica: How was the pediatrician? Rachel: Oh, I really liked him. (Looks at Ross) Yeah, it was really, really, really good. Ross: You promised you wouldn't say anything. Rachel: I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care! Monica: Are you serious? You still see Dr. Gettleman? Ross: He's a brilliant diagnostician! Chandler: Diagnostician or boo-boo fixer? Rachel: Ross, seriously! You've gotta go to an appropriate doctor. Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!' Chandler: Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your touchy? Ross: Hey, I seem to remember someone bringing his security blanket to college! Chandler: That was not a security blanket! That was a wall-hanging! Ross: It didn't spend much time on the wall!!! [SCENE: Central Perk] Mike: Excuse me, hi. I was hoping I would run into you. Can we talk? Phoebe: Sure. Mike: I'm sorry, really, I'm so embarrassed. Really, I'm a pretty nice guy. Just ask my parole officer...Apparently I'm not a funny guy. Phoebe: Why did you go along with that? Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did. Phoebe: That's true. (Pause) Well, is anything you told me about yourself true? Mike: My name in Mike, and I do play piano. Phoebe: Prove it. Mike: There isn't a piano here. Phoebe: That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist. Mike: (Plays 'air piano') Phoebe: You are really good! I play a little guitar myself. Mike: Really? Phoebe: Uhuh. Mike: That's great. What kind of music do you play? Phoebe: Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers. Mike: Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could... Phoebe: It's okay. Go ahead, ask me out. Mike: Okay. Do you think maybe sometime I could take you out? Joey: (Walks In) Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice. Joey: Look at this. My two best friends! (Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.) [SCENE: Pediatrician's office] Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me. Receptionist: The doctor will be right with you sir. Girl: (Reading a book) Mommy, I can't find Waldo. Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant. Woman: Wow, so your child is a big fan of the Waldo books too? Ross: Yeah, that's how I know. I'm Ross by the way. Sally: Hi, I'm Sally. So, no ring. Can I assume you are also a single parent? Ross: I am a single parent. Sally: It's hard isn't it? There's almost no time for a social life. I mean, where are you gonna meet someone? Ross: Well, let's say, I don't know, you met someone in the pediatrician's office. Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you. Ross: Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in. Boy: Mommy (He walks over to Sally.) Girl: Mommy, what's wrong with that man? Ross: Hey, I helped you find Waldo! [SCENE: Chandler and Monica's apartment] Ross: (Enters) Oh good, you haven't left yet. Monica: Where have you been? Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out. Chandler: Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug) Ross: Oh man. Monica: Promise to call me when you land. Chandler: Of course I will call you. I love you. Monica: I love you too. (They kiss) Rachel: Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here. Phoebe: Bye Chandler. Chandler: Awww. (They hug) Bye! Rachel: Bye honey. (They hug) Chandler: (Tries to hug Joey but J. moves away) What's the matter Joe? Joey: I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase. Chandler: Any chance you are trying to pick a fight to make all this easier? Joey: Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.) Chandler: Well, bye Mon, bye Ross, Rachel, bye Emma! Phoebe: Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door) Monica: (Runs out to the hallway) Chandler, wait. It goes: Old job, (Raises her hand) new job, (Raises her hand really high) you. This is just something I have to do. Chandler: I know. Monica: I love you so much. Chandler: I know that too. (They kiss) (Joey opens the door and takes Chandler's suitcase into his own apartment.) [SCENE: Airport] Chandler: (On cell phone) Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it. Yes it will be the same. Because I know, that's how. I promise. CUT TO: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land. Monica: Can I talk now? Joey: Okay, bye. (He hangs up the phone.) Monica: Joey? Joey: He had to board.	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x03 - The One With The Pediatrician"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen [Scene: Ross is in Central Perk. Phoebe comes in.] Phoebe: Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up? Ross: sure. Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me? Ross: people (shakes head, they sit) so why you all dressed up. Phoebe: oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date. Ross: oh yea now um how is that going, is it getting serious? Phoebe: oh I dunno I dunno, you know I mean I like him but am I ready to take my grade a loins off the meat market. Ross: you know I really admire your whole dating attitude, it's so healthy I'm always like is this moving to fast? Is this moving to slow? Where's this going? Phoebe: yea you know you are a bit of a drama queen. Ross: but you, your so much better off you just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terns into anything serious. Phoebe: I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone. Ross: There isn't that's what I'm saying. (All happy) Phoebe: Oh my god you're right. Ross: I know and yet here you are all ready for the next date. Phoebe: I can't believe I never realized this before, I'm in my thirty's and never been in a long-term relationship oh my god (starts crying) what's wrong with me. Ross: no, no, no there's nothing wrong with you I mean you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway. Phoebe: I wanna get married (grabs a tissue) Ross: please don't cry because of me pheebs I don't know what I'm talking about, I've been divorced three times. Phoebe: least you've been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna trade lives with Ross (cries more) Mike: Phoebe (comes in smiling then sees Phoebe crying) what's wrong? Phoebe: nothing, I'm excited about our date, Mike this is Ross Geller this is Mike Haaaaa (starts crying) Ross: I'm sorry I didn't catch. Mike: its Mike Hanagen Ross: Oh Ross Geller Mike: Hey, so are you sure your ready to go. Phoebe: uh huh (terns to Ross) how do I look (all her make up has gone everywhere) Ross: do you have a compact in your purse? Phoebe: (goes to cry) No Ross: you look great. (Opening Credits) [Scene: Monica enters Central Perk.] Monica:: hey Joey Joey: Hey, this girl won't turn around and I can't tell whether she's hot or not, what do you think? Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you (looks at the woman) but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma. Joey: Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler? Monica:: yeah he has to stay in Tulsa this weekend Joey: how come? Monica:: he has to work, there's some rush on the big (pause, thinks) ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job. Joey: oh why don't you fly out there and surprise him. Monica:: maybe I will go (thinks) yea will have a second honeymoon at the Tulsa romana. Joey: oh and you know what you should bring the black see-through teddy with the attached garters. (Nods) Monica:: how do you know I have one of those? Joey: didn't till just now. (Monica goes to the back and Joey looks at the girl) Joey: hot not hot (she turns around) Hot! Hayley: excuse me? Joey: I said I think you're hot and now I'm embarrassed. Hayley: oh I thought you said Hi. Joey: that would've been better, I'll try that Hi I'm Joey. Hayley: I'm Hayley. Joey: look I don't usually ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses gn: HA! Joey: (turns round) gesundheit Hayley: I would love to go out with you. Joey: really, great, did I actually ask you? Hayley: no that's just where you were going I just figured that I'd help you out, you don't seem like the kind of guy that does this very a lot. gn: HA! Joey: (turns round again) seriously gn you should see someone about that cold, if it gets much worse you could DIE! (gn looks scared) [Scene: Ross is at Phoebe's.] Ross: so how'd the date go? Phoebe: well it was awful every time I thought about what you said I started crying. Ross: So he hasn't called? Phoebe: would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing Ross: now I feel terrible this is all my fault. Phoebe: well you not what you should feel terrible about, this could have been my serious guy he was sweet and smart and funny. Do you know how hard it is to meet a guy like that? Ross: We are a rare breed. [Scene: Joey is back at Hayleys apartment.] Hayley: what a great dinner. Joey: yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant. Hayley: (laughs) your welcome again, I'm gonna make some coffee can I get you anything? Joey: do you have any cake? (Hayley laughs and goes into the kitchen thinking it's a joke, Joey doesn't see what's so funny about it) >>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine) Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. (Walks over to a painting on the wall) Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. (Looks around) You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before (it's a cactus and he touch's it) AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place. Joey: (bends down to see and the cactus pricks him in the ass) AWCH! That's why. [Scene: Ross goes to see Mike to explain about Phoebe.] Ross: (He knocks at the door, Mike opens it) Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in? Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you? Ross: I'm Ross, Phoebe's friend from the coffeehouse. Mike: Oh. Ross: yeah I really, really need to talk to you about something. Mike: Ok, unless you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you? Ross: (laughs) No Mike: oh it's just you have that look (shuts the front door) Ross: Damn super cuts! Mike: what's up is Phoebe ok? Ross: oh no yeah, no Phoebe is great, but umm I'm an idiot look right before you guys went out I accidentally got her all upset. Mike: that's why she was weird. Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off. Mike: I'm not blwing her off, I actually just got off the phone with her, were going out tomorrow night, I mean I hope that's ok with you stranger from the coffee house. Ross: well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered. Mike: hey wait wait wait wait wait! Is that true what you said Phoebe's never had a serious relationship? Ross: of course she has. if she'd never had a serious relationship I'd go round broadcasting it like some unstoppable moron. Mike: but you did say it Ross: yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis-�-vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum. Mike: Vicrum? Ross: WHAT THAT'S A REAL NAME! [Scene: Chandler arrives home from work.] Chandler: (enters singing) Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plane, STOP IT! Why couldn't they have sent me to Texas? 7 o clock maybe I'll ht the gym (sits down) who am I kidding pay-per-view prn. -Cuts to Monica (She's just arrived outside his room she fixes a bent photo hanging on the wall then sprays mint in her mouth and enter) Chandler: DO NOT DISTURB DO NOT DISTURB! Monica: (smiles) Monica:: is everything all right? Chandler: everything's great, just watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. (She hugs him, and she knows what he was doing so she looks at the TV and sees sharks swimming around thinking Chandler was giving himself a treat to sharks.) Monica:: I'm gonna go freshen up ok Chandler: Ok honey. that was close. -Cut to Rachel (Phone ringing) Rachel: Hello Monica:: Hey Rach its me ok I just got the Chandler's room and I caught him molesting himself. Rachel: Oh that couldn't have been pretty. but you know guys do that. Monica:: yea well the weird part is... he was getting off to a shark attck show! Rachel: Nooooooooo! Monica:: Yes! Chandler Watches Shark prn! (Commercial Break) [Scene: Rachel is at Monica's, talking about Chandler & him watching "Shark prn".] Rachel: well watching sharks? Are you sure that's what he was doing? Monica:: do you know how many times I've seen him jump up like that, believe me I know what he was doing. Rachel: man sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what. Monica:: what means if he gets like a disease or kills someone. not if he gets his jollys to jaws! Rachel: Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice. Monica:: Eww are you talking about my bother. Rachel: yeah I didn't disguise that very well did i. Joey: (enters) Hey Rachel: (sits down) Hi Joey: listen to this... I went out with this girl last night and half way through our date I realized I already slept with her. (Monica makes a strange face and sits down) Rachel: so basically you've slept with all the woman in New York and now you're just going around again. Joey: well that's not even the weird part. I don't think she remembered sleeping with me. Monica:: But you don't remember sleeping with her. Joey: yeah but she should remember sleeping with me I am very memorable, you guys know. Rachel: what, how do we know, we never slept with you. Joey: and who's fault is that. Monica:: what's the big deal, you forgot, she forgot, maybe you were having an off night Joey: HEY! I never have an off night ok although sometimes when I'm a little bloated I don't feel very sexy BUT EVEN THEN I'M BETTER THEN MOST! Monica:: Honey why don't you just let it go and ask her out again. Rachel: yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other. Joey: Interesting. all right I'll go out with her again and try to get past it (reaches for the chips) OH SALT BLOATY! Monica:: Joey, Joey. Joey: What? Monica:: you don't think sharks are sexy do you? Joey: No. (Pause) wait a minute what was the little mermaid? (Monica just looks at him, and Rachel wants to laugh) [Scene: Phoebe's at her apartment waiting for Mike Ross comes over.] Phoebe: It's open. Ross: Hey! Phoebe: HEY! Mike called were going out again! YAY! YAY! (She dances around with happiness) Ross: YAY! (He continues the happiness with her by dancing around) quick thing, I went to talk to Mike. Phoebe: What? Wha-wha-wha-did you do ROSS! Ross: oh boy you got mad at that part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and I ended up telling him that. Phoebe: WHAT! Ross: umm. that you had a six year long relationship with a guy named Vicrum. Phoebe: WHAT! WHY? Ross: well he seemed to bum hard that you'd never been in a serious relationship. Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW! Ross: well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he used to date Oprah. (He makes another wow face) Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him. Ross: Good yeah just be honest with him. Phoebe: yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door) Ross: I'll get it Phoebe: ok Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth) Phoebe: Uh huh yeah (stands up) there's just something umm, there's something you should know (Pause) Vicrum just called. [Scene: Joey is back at Hayley's place after there date.] Hayley: so it was kind of a shock after 25 years of marriage my parents, a perfect couple getting divorced, I kinda took it the hardest cause I was the youngest. Joey: Uh huh, sure, yeah. How can you not remember me? Hayley: What? Joey: How could you not remember that we slept together? Hayley: What! When? Joey: I dunno! Hayley: I really, really think I would remember sleeping with you Joey: come on, come on, search your brain all right. it was (thinks) a certain amount of time ago, I was here you were here, we had sex (starts pointing out the places) here, here, here NOT there. Anything? Hayley: no it's not ringing any bells. Joey: my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this? Hayley's roommate: Hey Hayley you've really gotta fix that doorknob. Joey! Joey: Ooooooooooh, I slept with you! And you obviously remember me Hey! I still got it. (Turns back to Hayley) so were good. (She just glares at him) I'll let myself out. [Scene: Phoebe is sitting with Mike, explaining about Vicrum.] Phoebe: .and I said Vicrum you can't just call every time you get lonely you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel. Mike: But Rachel I thought she just had a baby with Ross Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee. Mike: that is so wrong and on top of that his a glue sniffer. Phoebe: I know but he call's and my heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth talking free lance kite designer. Mike: I just think there's somebody better out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me. Phoebe: Oh. Mike: and you don't have to worry about glue sniffing with me. although I do smell the occasional magic marker, yeah ah anyway I just think I can make you happy. Phoebe: ok I can't do this. Mike: what's wrong? Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me. Mike: uh huh Phoebe: so you don't think I'm a total freak Mike: No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you. Phoebe: I guess so, can I. can I think it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again (they get closer to kiss and Phoebe pulls back) and umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers. Mike: Definitely Ross: (They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum. [Scene: Chandler arrives home and Monica's got a video of Sharks ready for Chandler.] Chandler: Hi honey I'm home! Monica:: Hi, how was your flight? (She hugs him) Chandler: oh it was great. Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you. Chandler: well, well, well it must be five in Tulsa because it's six o clock IN NY.C! Monica:: Ok (sits down next to him) This is how much I love you. (She presses play then puts her arm around Chandler's neck.) Chandler: (Chandler looking confused) Honey why am I watching a bunch of sharks swimming around. Monica:: Is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier. Chandler: no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all. Monica:: Oh well this is the only one they had at our video store, but they did have something called crocodile Kllers. Or does it always have to be sharks? Chandler: does what always have to be sharks. Monica:: Honey look we can do something else, do you want me to get into the tub and thrash. Chandler: What's going on? Monica:: sweetie it's ok, I still love you, let me be a part of this. Chandler: let ME be a part of this! Monica:: I saw what you were doing in Tulsa. angry sharks turn you on! Chandler: no they don't Monica:: then why were you watching them and giving YOURSELF a treat. Chandler: OH MY GOD! When you came in I switched the channel, I was just watching regular prn Monica:: really? Chandler: yeah just some good old fashion girl on girl American action. Monica:: I cannot tell you how happy that makes me! (They hug) Chandler: You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that. Monica:: Im very, very drunk right now. (They hug, Scene fades to black) [Scene: Phoebe is in central-perk with Joey telling him what Ross said t her at the beginning.] Joey: (looks at a girl walk in) see ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her? Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious. Joey: your right! I love my life! (He gets up to go and speak to the girl and he turns back and sits down) I actually did sleep with her.	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x04 - The One With The Sharks"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Scott Silveri Directed by: David Schwimmer Transcribed by: Christoph Päper [Scene: Central Perk. All except Chandler, plus Emma.] Phoebe: Oh hey you guys, I couldn't get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead. Joey: Thursday? But that's Halloween. Phoebe: So? Joey: [It's just] So spooky, that's all. Ross: So, so, is Mike coming to dinner? Phoebe: No! It's my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think it's a little to soon to show my true colors. Rachel: Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (to Ross:) Which one of us should go to dinner? Phoebe: Oh, Rachel! Ross: Actually, um, I was thinking maybe both of us could go. Phoebe: Oh, yay! Ross: Thanks, I put a lot of extra thoughts on your gift. Phoebe: Alright, okay, so we can all go now. That is fun. Hey, you know what? We all haven't been together the six of us in such a long time. Monica: What are you talking about? We're all together right now. Rachel: Um, Mon, Chandler's not here. Monica: Oh, dear god! Opening Credits [Scene: Tulsa, a conference room. Chandler is chairing a group of eight people.] Chandler: Good morning everyone, it's nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it? Ken: That's right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to? Chandler: (laughs) Well, don't believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that's true. Alright, let's get started, by take a look at last quarter's figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards heRoss:) Ah, Claudia, aren't you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses' ass? Claudia: I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you? Chandler: No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can't remember why. (to everyone:) You're not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right? Claudia: Yes, in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. (passing the pack) Would you like one? Chandler: Alright, lo...look. I don't smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it's fine. (everyone lights) So you all smoke then? That's almost rude, that I'm not. Ken: That's not true. If you don't wanna smoke ... Chandler: (loud) Ken, please! No, I can't, I can't smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kll me. Ken: I'm sorry, but isn't your wife back in New York? Chandler: I always liked you, Ken. (takes a cig) [Scene: The Bings'. Monica in bathrobe, merely covered. Someone's knocking at the door.] Phoebe: (from outside) Trick or treat! (It's obviously Halloween eve, the night of her birthday dinner.) Monica: (opening the door) Hey! Phoebe: Ooh, and treat it is. (Monica's breasts.) Monica: Hmhmm. (ties up) Phoebe: Wow, so glad I changed. Almost weared my ??? outfit that can't contain my breasts. Monica: This is not, what I'm wearing. I'm ovulating and Chandler's gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner. Phoebe: Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys won't be late for my dinner, will you? Monica: Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We'll probably be the first ones there. Phoebe: 'kay, see you there. Happy humping! (outside meeting Chandler.) Hey...hey! Oh, wow, somebody smoked out here? Oh my god, don't people know, you're not allowed to smoke in public spaces? Chandler: Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all commune areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people. Phoebe: You smoked! Chandler: No! I just happened t'do a lot trivia's about smoking in different states. For example, in Hawaii cigarettes are called Leyhallalookoos. Phoebe: (smells at him) Chandler, you stink of cigarettes. Chandler: Uch, do you think, Monica is gonna be able smell it? Phoebe: Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound ... and the breasts of a great goddess. Chandler: Pheebs? Phoebe: (embarrassed) I'm gonna go. (leaves to stairs) Chandler: (getting in) Okay, something to cover the smell ... Oven cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented! Monica: (naughty in doorway) Welcome home. I've missed you. join me in the bedroom? Chandler: No thanks, I'm good. Monica: (comes over) O-kay, so you wanna play it that way, do you? Chandler: (shrinks back) Right. You know what? Actually I just get off the plane, so I'm feeling kinda gross. Maybe I should just take a shower. Monica: You don't need a shower. Chandler: (still backs away) Alright, the truth is, I soiled myself during some turbulence's. Monica: What do I smell? (sniffs him) I smell smoke. Huh--did you smoke? Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack...a...a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigs are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But it's over, I made a decision, I'm not gonna smoke anymore. Monica: (gets a pack out of his jacket) Chandler: But, those are for you. [Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.] Ross: Alright, we'll just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. (hangs up) Huh, that was my mom, she's stuck in terrible traffic. Rachel: Okay, well that's now the third sign that I should not leave Emma. Ross: Oh, what were the other two? Rachel: Well, let's see. The first one is: I don't want to. And, you know, I'm not going. Ross: I know, it's the first time, we're leaving the baby and ... hey, I know how hard it is for you, but ... but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She's great with kids. Rachel: She is? Ross: Ya. Rachel: What about (?) Monica. Ross: Hey, you only heard Monica's side of that. That little fatso was a terror. Rachel: Ish. I just don't think I can bear it. Ross: Rachel, I know that you can. And you should. Rachel: Uch. Ross: Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why don't you, why don't you go ahead to the restaurant and I will wait for my mom and then I'll meet you there. Rachel: Oh-A. Ross: No, no, really. You should go. Just go! Go! Go out! Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up the heels. Paint the town red. (Slang right?) Rachel: You need to learn some new slang. Ross: I'm serious. C'mon, you should go. Here. (shoves her outside, while she tries to stay) No, uh-uh, just go. Rachel: What ... Oh! (points inside) Ross: No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You [can't get in there] (?), the baby's fine, now scram. Yeah, [I told you a\|Tell your] story walking. (?) Rachel: I was just going to say that I left my keys. Ross: Oh, (door is locked) holy moly are we in a pickle now. [Scene: The restaurant. Phoebe and Joey are sitting alone at a table for six.] Phoebe: Where is everyone? They're forty minutes late. Joey: I know, u-uch. Phoebe: I'm starving. I know we were coming here tonight, I ate nothing all day. Joey: What about me, he? Only had one lunch today. Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly? Phoebe: Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah, yeah um, their arrival is in the offing. Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable. Joey: No, they're comin', we're waitin' right here. Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn't worry, they shan't be long. Waiter: It's just that we do have some large parties waiting. Phoebe: One really does have a stick up one's ass. Doesn't one? [Scene: The Bings'.] Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it's chilling. Chandler: I messed up, it was a meeting, everybody was smoking. Monica: So what? Don't you have any will power? Chandler: Will power? I've watch home movies of you eating ding-dongs (?) without taking the tin foil off. Monica: You said that was sexy! Chandler: 'kay, look: Can we just drop this? I'm not gonna smoke again. Monica: That's right, because I forbid you to smoke again. Chandler: You forbid me? Monica: Mhmm. Chandler: You know, I flew a long way t see my loving wife? Is she here by the way? Monica: Don't joke (?) with me, okay? I'm very, very upset right now. Chandler: Oh, would you say this was the most upset you could be? Monica: Yes. Chandler: Then, I might as well ... (grabs the cigs) do this (lights one, exhales). Not really sure what to do now. Monica: Well, I'll tell you what we're gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe's birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we're gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex. Chandler: Fine. What!? Monica: Sex! This is the last day I'm ovulating, and when we don't do it now, we'll have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom) Chandler: You serious? (follows) Monica: Oh yeah! Chandler: Right, fine, I'll do it, but no talking. Monica: Huh, and no cuddling. Chandler: And no kissing your neck. Monica: Oh good, I hate it when you do that Chandler: And lots of kissing your neck. [Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel's.] Ross: Okay, well the ??? is not home. Rachel: No. Uch. Ross: Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys. Rachel: Alright, I can't, I can't wait that long. You have to do something--knock that door down! Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, y...you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby's sleeping. Rachel: What if she jumped out the basinet? Ross: Can't hold her own head up, but yeah jumped. Rachel: Oh my god, I left the water running. Ross: Rach you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay? Rachel: Ah, did I leave the stove on? Ross: You never cooked since 1996. (Actually Rachel cooked in "609 - TOW Ross Got High", first aired 1999-11-25.) Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there's a window open, a bird could fly in there. Ross: Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you're right. I think .. listen, listen! Rachel: Ubb. Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fre. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment. Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true. [Scene: The restaurant with still just Phoebe and Joey.] Waiter: Hello. Phoebe & Joey: Hey. Waiter: It's been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table. Joey: Maybe we should just eat now. Waiter: You can't order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy. Joey: Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there's still some food left on their place, okay, what's the restaurant's policy about people eatin' that? Waiter: Estrangement (?). Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I'm gotta go to the bathroom. Phoebe: No, you can't go. No-no-no, I can't hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave. Joey: If you ask me to stay, I'll pee. (leaves) Maitre D': Good evening, Miss. (Phoebe turns her head away) Miss? (from the opposite side) Miss? (ahe turns again) Miss! Phoebe: Okay, fine, I'll move. Alright, you don't have to manhandle me. (gets up) Where? (he points at a smaller table) Okay. Thank you. Watch. Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe's chair) Pheebs, who the hell--uhuhh! [Scene: The Bings' bedroom, Chandler is undressing, Monica in bed already.] Monica: Spend more time with the tie. That'll make a baby. Chandler: Look, I can't do this. I can't make love to you while we're fighting this way. Monica: Oh sure, now you're Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle's funeral Chandler: That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, I'm not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be conceived? Monica: No, you're right. Mnya, we shouldn't do it like this. Huch. For what it's worth, I'm, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world. Chandler: Mean it? Monica: Yah. Chandler: You are incredible. Unless, I...I'm not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. (they kiss) Monica: D'you want to? Chandler: Yeah, let's celebrate life! Monica: 'kay. [Scene: Ms. Geller, Rachel and Ross storm into the apartment.] Rachel: Och, god. (seeing Emma) Oh, thank god, you're okay. I'm so sorry we left you. Mom never gonna leave you again. Never ever ever again. Uch. Ross: Great. So let's get going? Rachel: Oh no. I mean it. After what just happened, I'm never leaving her again. Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: "Mommy, I'm a girl, take me with you." Ross: Somehow over time it got easier to be apart from you. [Scene: Bings in bed, finished.] Chandler: Uhh. You are welcome. Monica: You know what? Let's not talk. Chandler: What? Monica: Uch. I am still so mad at you for smoking. Chandler: But you said you forgave me. It was just a couple of cigarettes--no big deal. Monica: Oh, blablablabaybaybay. Chandler: Leave it. Monica: I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said you wouldn't have sex with me while we're fighting. Chandler: You tricked me to get me into bed? Monica: That's right, I got mine. Chandler: I feel so used. [Scene: Restaurant, still just the not-couple.] Phoebe: Well, I guess they're not coming. You wanna just order? Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! 'alright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep Phoebe: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanderelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, I kept up.) Waiter: Er--does not. Phoebe: Tomato tart and which of the pastas would you recommend? Waiter: Oh, they're both exclus... Phoebe: Both it is, thank you. Joey: Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you bring everything as soon as it's ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don't care. Ross & Rachel: (entering) Hey, hi, hi! Waiter: I'll just wait to put your order in. Phoebe: You guys are over an hour late. What happened to you two? Ross: I'm so sorry ... Rachel: We got locked out of the apartment, we ... Joey: That's a great story--can I eat it? Ross: And then Rachel wasn't sure she could leave the baby. Rachel: N-it wasn't easy, but it's your birthday and I did what I got to do. Phoebe: And that's Judy over there at the bar with Emma? Rachel: Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I'm not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she's doing at home and I'm being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up! Ross: What? Rachel: She spit up. Judy! She spi...Judy! Look alive, Judy! (they sit down) Thank you. Ross: Thanks. Oh. Rachel: Oh, ooh, everything looks delicious. What should I ha-ave? What should I have? Joey: (mumbling) Never ht a woman. Never ht a woman. Ross: Y'know this ??? is incredible. Joey: Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach. Ross: Okay, I'll have the fixed salad and the duck. Rachel: Yah, I'll have the soup and the salmon. Joey: And remember whatever comes up first. Okay? And hurry, because .. Monica: (entering with husband) Happy birthday! Joey: Son of a bitch! Phoebe: Wher-where have you been? Monica: Well, we had a little fight. Chandler: I would never lie to get someone into bed. Monica: You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. (being sat down) Ooh, uh, thanks. Wow, little tight, isn't it? How d'you get a bigger table? You-you had a big table, but they made you move. Huh-huh, shut up Monica. Whoo, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck. Chandler: I suppose that Monica will have the ... manipulative shrew. Waiter: I'll give you another minute. Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter) Ross: Rach, c'mon, Emma is fine. You're turning into an obsessive mother. Okay, you need to stop. Rachel: Y'guys ever heard the story about when Ross's mom went to the beauty salon? Chandler: You mean the lully story? Ross: (childish) Huh-huh, they already know it. Phoebe: You guys, we've been waiting for you for a long time, maybe you should order. Joey: (returned) No, no, it's okay, I already told the waiter what they want. Monica: Why would you do that? Joey: Chandler, control your woman! Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast ... to Phoebe. She dropped her sock. Phoebe: Aw ... what? Rachel: N-no, Emma dropped her sock. Monica: Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town. Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground. Phoebe: 's a good toast. Rachel: (to Ross) Could you please get her attention? Ross: W-oa ... Mommy! (gestures to his not understanding mother) Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god's sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I'm sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn't even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it's too late now. Ross: Well, ??? think that's us? Phoebe: well, this is, this is, this is not over! (on phone) Hello? Joey: (to Chandler and Monica) Well, what is going on with you two? Monica: Uch, you see, I'm ovulating. Chandler: Oh yeah, that's what she says. But maybe you're not ovulating at all, maybe it's just a clever ruse to get me into bed. Monica: Yes smokie, that is what it was. I just can't get enough. Chandler: (to Joey) You not gonna believe this: She lied! She tricked me into having sex with her. Joey: So? Did have sex, right? Chandler: What's the matter with me? Why I'm such a girl? Phoebe: (returns) Okay, that was Mike. Rachel: Phoebe, hi, we're so sorry. You're totally right. We are here one hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your birthday celebration. Phoebe: Mhuh, guys, that means the world to me. Huh, mkay, I'm gonna take off. Rachel: What? Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I'm not t--not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye. Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe's going, can we please take Emma home? Ross: You know, I think that's a good idea--our babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnay. (both get up) Bye, y'guys. Monica: Bye. Joey: See ya. Well, this is just us. Monica & Chandler: Mhum. Monica: So, I'm, I'm probably still ovulating. Do you want to give it another try? Chandler: So you never had sex with a Kennedy, have you? Joey: Do, do you gonna do it now? Monica: We don't have much time. Once the egg decended the oviduct ... Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes) Maitre D': I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning. Joey: Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special. Closing Credits [Scene: continues, Joey finished everything] Waiter: How was everything, sir? Joey: Excellent. The shrew in particular was exclusive. Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left. Waiters: (with birthday cake, singing) Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear ... Joey: Joey! Joey. Waiters: ... Joey, happy birthday to you. Joey: That's the best birthday ever. End	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x05 - The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Coffee Mug Russian to Roman alphabet: Gabriela Horber Dedicated to the great work of Eric Aasen, Guineapig and many, many more -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Scene: Chandler's hotel room in Tulsa. He's fast asleep when the telephone rings.] Chandler: (picking up the telephone, answering it with a frog in his throat) Hello? (he clears his throat, but he still has the same frog in his throat when he speaks again) Hello? Monica: (in her apartment, screaming) I LOVE MY NEW JOB! Chandler: Honey, you're screaming. Monica: YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM! I just had the best first day ever! The kitchen: twice as big as Allessandro's. Chandler: (yawning) Oh, that's great. Monica: Yeah, a-a-and clean. Not just health department clean... Monica clean. Chandler: (clearly not so interested) Awesome. Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.) OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.] Mike: This is nice. Phoebe: I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.) Mike: You need both hands for that? Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.) Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd ht me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar) Phoebe: I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation. Mike: Is it? Phoebe: (in a flash she answers) Maybe not, is it? Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there... Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging? Mike: Oh, sorry. (He digs in again and finally finds what he's been looking for. A key.) Phoebe: Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars. Mike: It's to my apartment. Phoebe: (really surprised) Oh wow, ooh! Ooh, big step for Phoebe and Mike. Mike: Yeah, look, and I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key just because... Phoebe: Oh no, I want to. Mike: Oh, thank God. (he laughs nervously, and Phoebe gets her keychain from her bag.) Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.) Mike: Is this cool, huh? Phoebe: It really is. Joey: (sitting at his table) Oh, I know it... It is amazing these little things open doors... huh! (mimes opening a door with his own keys, Phoebe looks at him in a "yeah, yeah, yeah" way.) [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.] Rachel: So I don't go back to work for another four weeks, but we would like our nanny to start right away, so that Emma could get a chance to know her. Prospective nanny: (in a sweet, caring voice) I think that's really smart. The easier we can make the transition for her, the better. (Ross and Rachel seem pleased with the answer.) Rachel: That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us? Prospective nanny: Not really. Rachel: Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing up and make their way to the door) Ross: Thank you. Rachel: Really nice to meet you... and we'll call you. Prospective nanny: Oh, you know, wait. I do have one question. (she starts playing with her hair) Do you guys do random drug testing? Ross: Boy, we uhm... hadn't really thought of that. Prospective nanny: That's cool. But... but if you do, I'm gonna need three days notice. Rachel: Okidoki! (and she slams the door in the nanny's face while Ross crumples up the application form) Wow! We're never gonna find a nanny. Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with. Rachel: (indignant) What, the blonde with no bra? Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years. Rachel: Okay... (Ross opens the door.) Sandy: (a guy) Hi... I'm Sandy. Ross: And she's a little mannish... [Scene: Phoebe's apartment. There's a knock on the door, and Phoebe opens it.] Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! David! David: Hi! I-i-is this a bad time? Phoebe: (excited) No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk? David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing. Phoebe: Who cares, it got you here. David: Well, it got me to New York anyway, and then I got on a cab at the airport, and the guy said where to? and I just... gave him your address I... I... I didn't even think about it. Phoebe: Wow. Where is your luggage? (David thinks for a while) David: Damn it! Phoebe: A-Allright, well... I'll call the cab company. David: Wa... wa... wait! We can... call them later. Can you just... just stand there f-f-for a moment? Boy! There's an old Russian expression, uhm... it goes: Schto ya ztez vigul... ui! Roughly translated that means uhm... This thing that I'm looking at: wow! Phoebe: Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good. David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said) Phoebe: No... [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica sits on the couch and Phoebe is pacing up and down the room.] Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike? Monica: Maybe he didn't give you a chance. Phoebe: He said: Are you seeing someone? And I said no... Monica: Oh, well... That had been your window. Phoebe: Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking: Oh my God! It's David. David's here. He's just, he's so irresistible. Monica: Really? The scientist guy? Phoebe: Really? Chandler? Monica: Continue... Phoebe: Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night. Monica: Phoebe! Phoebe: I know! (points at herself) Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God! Monica: Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys? Phoebe: (sarcastically) Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony, you can imagine how happy I am. Monica: What are you gonna do? Phoebe: I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong... Monica: You have to tell David! Phoebe: Okay, I knew I should have had this conversation with Joey. [Scene: The hallway between the two apartments. Chandler comes home.] Chandler: (angry) Funniest guy she's ever met! (to the door) I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... (laughs about himself, but then gets determined again) Save it for inside! (he enters) Monica: Heeeeeey! Chandler: Hey! Phoebe: Hey! Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch. Monica: (Doesn't believe what she's hearing) Was your cabin pressurised? Chandler: (laughs, but then moves to Phoebe) And don't get me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk. Phoebe: Okay. (and she walks away) Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right? Monica: No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right? Chandler: Yeah, he came up... Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh) Chandler: (to Phoebe) Were you there? Phoebe: No, but it sounds like it was fricken funny... [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. They're interviewing Sandy.] Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional) Rachel: Sandy, that's exactly what it is... Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way) Rachel: Ross! Sandy: It's okay. I get that a lot doing what I do. But I am straight. I-I'm engaged actually. Rachel: Oh! Sandy: Her name is Deliah. Rachel: Oh, that's pretty. Ross: (skeptic) So you're just like a... guy who's a nanny? Sandy: I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child. Ross: (on a yeah, right tone) Okay. Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him) Ross: Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.) Rachel: Oh God, she mu... she must need her diaper changed. Sandy: Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want... Rachel: Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him... Ross: Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy! Rachel: So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out. Ross: Because, it's weird! Rachel: Why? Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be... Rachel: (she's got that "yeah, try to say it" look on her face) Yes? Ross: King? Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile) Rachel: (whispering and begging) Please? (Ross makes a "whatever" gesture) YES! Sandy you're hired. Sandy: That's great! (He gets emotional again and waves his hand in front of his face in a feminine way, like trying to dry his tears) I'm sorry. It's just... such an emotional thing when you're welcomed into a new family... Rachel: Oooh... I really can't hear what she says* come here. Ross: You gotta be at least bi... COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is reading a 'Busty Ladies' magazine when Chandler enters.] Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fre trucks. Joey: Ooh. I-I don't know Chan. I'm not so good with remembering lines. Chandler: (Can't believe what he hears) Well, thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it. Joey: I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this? Chandler: Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met. Joey: Seriously? She actually said that? Chandler: Yes! Am I crazy to be this upset? Joey: Nooooo! Being funny is your thing! Chandler: Yeah! Joey: Without that, you just got "lame with women". Chandler: Ye.... (stops because he realises what Joey just said, and stares at him. At this moment Monica enters) Monica: Hi! There you are. Joey: (sees Monica) fre trucks! (Chandlers eyes double in size and he turns to Monica who doesn't understand what's happening. Then he turns back to Joey, who says "you're welcome" without a sound) [Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe just let David in who brought a bottle of wine.] David: Wow, you look even... more beautiful than you did yesterday. Phoebe: Oof... David: In fact, ehm... I going to kiss you now. (David holds Phoebe and wants to kiss her.) Phoebe: Oh, wait, wait! David: Yeah, I-I don't, I can't get away with stuff like that. I-I-It sounded sexy in my head, so I... Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike. David: Oh... oh... Phoebe: Yeah, I should have told you. David: No... well, yeah. Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. David: Well, i-it's okay. I-I-I understand... Well, s... well, are you happy with this guy? Phoebe: I am happy. David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go... Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. David: Well... just so you know... hearing it wasn't exactly a Vladnik carnival either... Can we at least hug goodbye? Phoebe: Of course, yeah.(they hug and Phoebe sighs... a little after that also David sighs and makes his way to the door) You know, a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate... David: No... no... Phoebe: I mean... (David kisses Phoebe on the cheek, makes his way to the door and turns around again) David: In Minsk... Phoebe: Yeah? David: ...it's uhm... i-it's two on each cheek and uhm... and one on the lips. Phoebe: Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately and cannot seem to stop.) [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Sandy sit on the couch. Sandy holds Emma. Ross enters the apartment. Sandy and Rachel wipe their tears away with handkerchiefs] Rachel: (in a tearful voice) Oh... Oh boy... (she turns around and sees Ross) Hi... Ross: (very worried) Is everything allright? Rachel: Oh yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Sandy was just... was just telling me about how he proposed to his fiancée and it was just sooo beautiful. Sandy: Well, her favourite flower is the camellia. From the poem... Rachel: I can't... I can't hear it again. Sandy: You know, I can't tell it again... (wipes his tears again) Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec? Rachel: Yeah! (to Sandy) Excuse me... (She walks to the kitchen with Ross and sighs) Ross: Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in. Rachel: Look, Ross, he's just... Sandy is just sensitive, that's all. Ross: (picks up a cookie) Okay, okay, see... that... that is the problem. He is too sensitive. (takes a bite from the cookie) Rachel: What...? Too sensitive to take care of our baby? Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing! Rachel: Sandy made Madeleines. Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie) Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle. Ross: Hey... there's sensitive... and there is too sensitive. Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.) [Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She and David are still kissing each other in the living room.] Phoebe: Hmmm... No, no... No, I can't do this. It's bad. David: But... I-I-It's nice... A-a-and... nice is good. A-a-and good is not bad, ergo, w-w-we should keep kissing. Phoebe: No, no. No. David: But... ergo... Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him... David: Uhm... uhm... Goodbye... Uh... Schto ya ztez vigul... ui... (David holds his hands gently on the back of Phoebe's neck. There's a sound of a a bunch of keys rattling, and the door opens... It's Mike) Mike: Well... hey, the key works...! (he looks as if he doesn't want to believe what's happening) Phoebe: (points to David) And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen and Ross enters.] Ross: Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny? Monica: Yeah! I think that's great! Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines? Monica: Oh... How are they? Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters) Joey: Hey! Ross: Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny. Joey: (looks surprised) Really...? Guys do that...? That's... weird... Ross: Thank you! Joey: That's like a woman wanting to be a... Ross: ...a what? A what? What's the end of that sentence? Monica: Yes... What is the end of that sentence? Joey: Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met? Monica: Yeah, so? Ross: Wow! Joey: Really? Do you not know Chandler? Monica: Is that why he's acting so weird...? He's jealous...? Oh my God, that is crazy. It's not like I'm attracted to Geoffrey... Joey: So what? Being funny is Chandler's thing... You know, like Ross's thing is... (he can't come up with anything) Ross: Science...? Academia...? Being a good father...? Joey: ...No... (he just can't seem to grasp it) Monica: I can't believe he's that upset about this... Joey: Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... (the door opens and Chandler walks in with a pizza) Chandler: Hey! Joey: Heeeyy! Hey! Chandler: What are you guys talking about? Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?") Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.) Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before) Monica: Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister! Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh) Monica: Okay, okay... Chandler you... you stop it! (Monica wipes away tears) Chandler: What is so funny about that? (they realise it wasn't a joke) Monica: Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey) Chandler: Did you tell her what we talked about? (Joey starts laughing hysterically, but then gets serious again...) Joey: Yeah.... Chandler: So those were pity laughs? PITY LAUGHS? (Joey and Ross walk away from the kitchen) Monica: Honey, listen... You have nothing to worry about with Geoffrey. Chandler: Oh yeah? Is he funnier than me? Monica: Well, you're... you're different funny... I mean, you're... you're more sarcastic a-a-and... well, he does... bits... and impressions... and... and limericks... Chandler: I do limericks... uhm... There once was a man named Chandler, whose wife made him die inside. Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me. Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?) Joey: Not knowing when to shut up... Ross: Yep! That's my thing... COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Phoebe's apartment. David is still there. Mike closes the door.] Mike: So... how many guys have your key? Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend. Mike: Your lipstick's on his mouth. David: Oh, uh... we just uh... happen to wear the same shade. Phoebe: No, uhm... David and I did use to go out... but years ago, and he lives in Minsk. He's only... he's only in town for a couple of days. Mike: Did you uhm... Phoebe: No, no... Mike: ...kiss him? Phoebe: Oh, well, yeah... David: Yes, but uhm... You should know... she really likes you. I-In fact I-I-I don't think you realise j-just how lucky you are fella. (he points at Mike) Mike: Don't point your finger at me. David: Why? Wh-What are you going to do about it? Mike: Well... I'll... just show you what I'm gonna do about it... (he hits David's finger with his finger and they start to finger-fight using their fingers as swords saying all kinds of macho crap) Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go. David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out. Mike: Well, if I ever goto Minsk, you'd better watch out. David: Oh, you're going to Minsk? Mike: Well, I might. David: Really? Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there. Phoebe: Okay, well... guys? David: Right... Goodbye Phoebe. (Makes a move to kiss her.) Mike: Hey, what are you kidding me? David: Right-o, right-o... (to Mike) Take good care of her. (and he leaves) Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand. Mike: It's never gonna happen again right? Phoebe: Right! Never! Never! I swear! (They kiss... The door opens and David comes in again.) David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again) [Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.] Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns. Ross: Really? Sounded like Three Blind Mice. Joey: Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... (he puts his fingers in position on the recorder) Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock) Sandy: Who's up for puppets? Joey: Me! I'm up for puppets! Sandy: Well, please welcome... The Snufflebumps... Who wants to be mr. Wigglemunch and who's gonna be the Grumpus? Ross: Okay, okay... How exactly is a two month old supposed to appreciate puppets? Sandy: Actually studies have shown that the movement and colours help their cerebral development... The whimsical characters are just for us. (He winks to Joey and Rachel. Ross's face says he disapproves. Joey sees that and kind of angrily says...) Joey: I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. (and makes a "there" nod to Ross) Ross: (shakes his head) Oh my God! Sandy: Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus... (Ross goes to the kitchen) [Scene: Ross and Rachel's kitchen. Ross got a beer from the refrigerator and opens the bottle. Rachel now also enters the kitchen.] Rachel: That was kind of rude! Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me. Rachel: You know, he was just doing his job... Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this. Rachel: Oh, come on Ross... Ross: No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with... Rachel: (sighs) Oh... That's true. Ross: Thank you! Rachel: Well, you're the one who wants to fre him, so you're gonna have to do it. (Ross walks to the living room determined to fre Sandy) [Scene: Living room. Joey and Sandy are talking with the Snufflebumps.] Sandy: (In a puppet voice) So you see Wigglemunch, that's why it's important to shaaaaaaare... Joey: (kind of emotional) I am learning so much from you. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Joey are sitting at the dinner table. Chandler comes from the bedroom with his suitcase.] Chandler: Well, I'm off to Tulsa, so if your Maitre D. friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes, tell him to e-mail me at http://www.hahanotsomuch.com/. Monica: Honey, you can relax. Last night at work, Geoffrey told this really sexist joke. After that, not so funny anymore. Chandler: Really...? See... that's the thing: you gotta keep it smart, people! Monica: Okay, don't miss that flight. You know I love you. Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.) Joey: Allright. See you later! Chandler: See ya! (he leaves the apartment) Joey: (to Monica) Did that guy really make that joke? Monica: Naaaa... He still kills me. Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear... a little pee came out. [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Sandy is knitting baby clothes. Ross and Rachel walk into the living room.] Ross: Here goes... Rachel: I can't watch. It's like fring Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits) Ross: Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out. Sandy: (surprised) Oh... Ross: Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel... Rachel: (from behind the bedroom door) YOU! You feel! Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation... Sandy: Oh, no, no, no... That's okay. I got a lot of offers from other families. I just picked you guys because... I liked you the best. Rachel: (from bedroom) Oh, damn you Geller! Ross: Anyway, uhm...Well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings. Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future. Ross: No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue. Sandy: What is it...? (Ross hesitates) Please...? (he tilts his head) Ross: You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you. Sandy: That's fair... Although, can I ask... why do you think that is? Ross: Why... I... I don't know. (Sandy tilts his head again) Uhm... errrr... maybe... maybe because of my father? Sandy: hmmm... (and shakes his head) Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now. Rachel: (from the bedroom) Huh ha ha! Ross: I play squash...! Anyway, uhm... I uhm... I always get the feeling he thought I was too sensitive. Sandy: That must have been hard. Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy? Sandy: But you are a real boy! Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tnk top? Sandy: It's allright! Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out. Ross: Here come some more... COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Sandy are sitting at the kitchen counter. Joey is holding mr. Wigglemunch, and Sandy holds the Grumpus.] Sandy/Grumpus: And what's the one kind of boat that can never, ever sink? Joey/Wigglemunch: What kind? Sandy/Grumpus: A friend-ship... Joey: Wow! You blow my mind... Sandy: Oh, I gotta go. Joey: Aaahh... How much do I owe you? Sandy: Twenty bucks. Joey: It's like the cheapest college ever. END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x06 - The One With The Male Nanny (200th episode)"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Robert Carlock Transcribed by: Coffee Mug DEDICATED TO THE GREAT WORK OF... Eric Aasen ----------------------------------------------------- [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.] Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father! OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Central Perk. Joey sits at a table and Chandler and Monica enter.] Chandler: Hi! Joey: Hey... hey listen... What do you guys know about investments? Chandler: How come? Joey: Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking... I should probably do something with it. Monica: What do you do with your money now? Joey: Well, I just tape it to the back of my toilet tnk. (realises that anyone could have overheard that) I didn't say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots! Chandler: Do you have any ideas? Joey: Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus... Monica: Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat. Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...) Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff! Joey: Real estate, huh? Hmmm... Monica: (very excited) Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard! Chandler: (imitating Monica) Oh, and you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica! Monica: My dad told me. They play golf together. Chandler: Oh, well... Maybe I'll join them some time. I just hope the club doesn't slip out of my hand and bat the moustache off his face. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.] Phoebe: Hi! Rachel and Monica: Hey! Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps) Monica: Wow, the boyfriend's parents! That's a big step. Phoebe: (sarcastically) Really? That hadn't occurred to me. Monica: They just gonna love you, just be yourself. Phoebe: They live on the upper east side on Park Avenue! Rachel: Oh yeah, she can't be herself. Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither". Rachel and Monica: Oh God, neither! Monica: I'm sorry honey, but we're gonna take you shopping. It's gonna be fine. Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..." Monica: You went out with Wallis Pincer? Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me. Monica: I knew you didn't get a 1400! Rachel: Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean... Phoebe: So... now... What about with Mike's mom? Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had. Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT? Phoebe: (speaking louder and articulating) That's she's like the daughter she never had. (Phoebe points at her ears) Listen! (Monica looks at Phoebe in a duh! way) [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel enters the apartment.] Rachel: Hi. Ross: Hi. Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet! Ross: Guess what? I made Emma laugh today. Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie? Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy. Rachel: Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? (excited) Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry) Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses? Ross: But you know what, if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy uhm... body image... because... even big butts or uhm... juicy doubles. Rachel: (disgusted) owwwww... Ross: Please don't take her away from me! [Scene: Richard's apartment. There's a knock on the door.The listing agent opens the door for Chandler and Joey.] Catherine: Oh hi, come on in. I'm Catherine, the listing agent. Joey: Hi I'm Joey. This is Chandler. Chandler: So how come Richard's selling the place? Went bankrupt? Medical malpractice? Choked on his own moustache? Catherine: Actually, he is buying a much bigger place. It's got a great view of Central Pa..... Chandler: mmm That's enough about you! Joey: Is there anything we should know about the apartment? Catherine: All the appliances are included. There is a lot of light, a new kitchen... I think you guys would be very happy here... (Joey and Chandler both realise what she's assuming and start laughing.) Chandler: No, no, no, no, no, NO! No, no... we're not together. We're not a couple. We're definately not a couple. Catherine: Oh... Okay, sorry! Joey: Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around) Joey: You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah, I could see it. Chandler: (Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God! Joey: What? Chandler: There's a tape here with Monica's name on it. Joey: Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more) Chandler: Get there faster! (Joey gasps and finally understands...) [Scene: Mike's parents building. Phoebe gets out of the classy elevator, looking all dressed up like an older woman, and very un-Phoebe. She walks to the door and rings the doorbell.] Mike: Wow! You look like... like my mom. Phoebe: I'm wearing pantyhose! Mike: Great! Come on in! (Mike kisses her on the cheek. A butler walks in and takes Phoebe's coat.) Phoebe: Oh, thank you! Oh... Oh my God, you're RICH! Mike: No, my parents are rich. Phoebe: Yeah, so... They gotta die someday. (Mike's parents walk in) HELLO! Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy. Phoebe: (in a very posh accent) Theodore... Bitsy... What a delight! Bitsy: It's so nice to finally meet you! Phoebe: And you... Your home is lovely. Bitsy: Well thank you, I'll give you a tour later. It's actually three floors. Phoebe: Holy crap! Bitsy: Phoebe, why don't you come in the living room and meet our friends? Phoebe: Oh, try and stop me! Mike: Hey... Wh... What are you doing? Phoebe: (no accent) I'm trying to get your parents to like me. Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe... Phoebe: (accent) Got it! It... It's hard to stop... Mike: Well, come on... Theodore: Phoebe, these are our friends, Tom and Sue Angle. Bitsy: Phoebe, come sit. Tell us a little bit about yourself... So where are you from? Phoebe: (no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom klled herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a brned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer? COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Mike's parents house again.] Phoebe: God! God! This is not going well. Mike: No, no, no, you're doing fine, really... Why don't you go talk to my dad? Phoebe: Okay, okay, okay, okay... Still sure about me being myself? Mike: Absolutely! Or maybe just a little less pimp spit. Phoebe: So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from... Theodore: Oh... Well... Phoebe: Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time... Theodore: Oh no, not all the time... I do the best I can... Phoebe: Yeah I bet! Look out! (Phoebe punches Theodore right in the stomach) Theodore: OH! OWWWWW! (Theodore grabs his stomach in agony) Phoebe: Oh my God, are you okay? Theodore: I recently had surgery. Phoebe: I'm so sorry! Theodore: No, I'll be fine... I just should check the stitches... Phoebe: I really, really am sorry. Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe) Mike: Uhm... Did you just ht my dad? Phoebe: Yes... I'm sorry, I've never met a boyfriends parents before... Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom? Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her. Mike: Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding. (Mike walks away and Bitsy walks in the same direction.) Phoebe: Yeah... Oh Bitsy, hi. Uhm... listen I just wanted to thank you again for having me here tonight. Bitsy: Well, not at all... Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is. Bitsy: Thank you, I think so too. Phoebe: Well, and you know, it really is a testament to how he was raised. Especially to you. Because he's very respectful of women. Bitsy: Is he really? Phoebe: Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and... you know I think... you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover. Bitsy: E-e-excuse me? Phoebe: (Mike now enters and stands behind Phoebe) Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong. No, he's not in like a sissy way. No, no, no... when he gets going, he can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave... Bitsy: That's... my boy. (Bitsy walks away) Mike: Awesome! [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Only Chandler is there with the videotape in his hands, standing in front of the TV set.] Chandler: I'm not gonna watch it... I don't NEED to watch it... I mean, what good could possibly come from watching? (sighs) Well, we know I'm gonna watch it. (Chandler moves to put the tape in the VCR and Joey enters the apartment) Joey: Hey dude, what's up? Chandler: Don't judge me, I'm only human! Joey: Did you take that tape? Chandler: I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it? Joey: I don't know. Who'm I'm married to? Chandler: Some girl...!? Joey: She hot? Chandler: Yeah...!? Joey: How did she get me to settle down? Chandler: Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it? Joey: Guess I don't know. My experience: if a girl says yes to being taped... She doesn't say no to much else, I tell ya... Chandler: Then you're gonna have to watch it for me. Joey: (backs off) What? Whoo... What? Chandler: Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please? Joey: All right, fine... But if I enjoy this, you have only yourself to blame... (Chandler turns his back to the TV. Joey puts the tape in the VCR, switches it on and watches what's on the tape... It's clearly a american football match, with the referee's whistle blwing, the crowds cheering...) Chandler: Why am I hearing cheering? Joey: Well it's okay, its like... its just a football game. Chandler: Football? Just football? Joey: Yeah, see... you were all worried for nothing. Chandler: It's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... (Chandler walks to the fridge, his back turned to the TV and a moaning sound replaces the cheering of the crowd... Joey's eyes double in size...) What the... (Chandler turns around, but Joey already took a sprint for Chandler, jumps, and floors Chandler in the open space in front of the apartment door...) What are you doing? Joey: You don't wanna see what I just saw! (at this moment Monica comes home, and sees Chandler flat on his back on the floor and Joey pinning him down) Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.) [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.] Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters) Ross: Hey! Rachel: Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that... Ross: Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what'd you do to get her to laugh? Rachel: Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider... Ross: You sang Baby Got Back didn't you? Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass... [Scene: Mike's parents house, the dining room. Mike, Phoebe, Mike's parents and the Angles are there.] Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes. Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved? Phoebe: Oh, Pervert Parade? Mike: (sighs) No... Phoebe: Oh, Ode To A Pubic Hair? Mike: Stop! (The butler serves dinner) Phoebe: Oh God! Is that veal? Mike: Mom, I thought I told you... Phoebe's a vegetarian. Bitsy: Oh! Phoebe: Oh no, no, no, no... That's okay, that's okay... I mean, I'm... I am a vegetarian... except for veal... Yeah no, veal I love... Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat... Phoebe: No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat...) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.) Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica switches off the VCR. Joey and Chandler are behind the couch.] Monica: So you stole that tape from Richard's apartment? Chandler: Whoho ho... Listen to the judgement from the prn star! Monica: That tape was never meant to be seen by... (pauses) Joey I would feel more comfortable if I was having this conversation in private. Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out) Monica: Why in the world would you take this tape and and why would you watch it? Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches. Monica: Is all this about you not being able to grow a moustache? Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants. Monica: Isn't that sad? I mean, can you see how pathetic that is? You shouldn't be jealous. You should feel bad for him. Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache! Monica: Chandler, this is not our problem. We've got each other. That's all that matters. Chandler: Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air... Monica: Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again) Chandler: Oh, good, good. Play more, 'cause I wanna see how it ends. Monica: THAT'S NOT ME! Chandler: What...? That's not you! Life is good again! Ride 'em cowgirl! Monica: That bastard taped over me! (Chandler's expression changes) Chandler: Is that a problem? Monica: I-It's just so insulting! Big spring for a new blank tape, Doctor! [Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.] Theodore: I can't imagine what he sees in her. Bitsy: She actually makes me miss that pill-popping ex-wife of his. (Mike walks in) Oh, hello dear... Mike: Hey, what's going on? Bitsy: We were just chit-chatting. How's your friend? Mike: A little better. Bitsy: By the way, do you know who's moving back into town? Tom and Sue's daughter Jen. Theodore: You remember her Michael, she's lovely and... well behaved and... single. Mike: I'm not interested. Bitsy: Oh, please darling, let's be honest. You can have all the... sailor fun you want with that one, but... let's be real... Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are... Bitsy: Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth! (Phoebe almost enters the room, but she hears the discussion and waits and evesdrops next to the door-opening.) Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love... Bitsy: The woman you what? (Phoebe overheard what Michael said and now enters the room) Phoebe: Yeah... The woman you what? Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life... Phoebe: I love you too... Mike: You do? Phoebe: YEAH...! How great is this...? (they kiss) Mike: Wanna get out of here? Phoebe: Okay. Mike: Mom, dad, thanks for dinner. Phoebe: I had a great time. (accent) It was really top drawer. And here's something rich: thirteen bathrooms in this place... I threw up in the coat closet... Ta taaa... COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.] Ross: She sweat, wet. got it going like a turbo 'vette. Rachel: So fellas Ross: Yeah! Rachel: fellas Ross: Yeah! Rachel: has your girlfriend got the butt? Ross: Hell yeah! Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the bat) Ross: Shake it! Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in) Ross: Shake it! Rachel: Shake that nasty butt... Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway) Rachel: One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the g*ng) Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate! END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x07 - The One With Ross's Inappropriate Song"}	foreverdreaming
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment.] Monica: Hey Hon, could you help me get the plates down? Chandler: Yeah. Hey, here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china today? Monica: No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over. Chandler: Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint. Monica: What if something gets broken, they're so expensive. Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them? Monica: Ok, but if something gets broken, and then the Queen comes over.. Chandler: I will explain it to her. Monica: <laughs> Oh yeah, like I'm going to let you talk to the queen. Joey: wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap. TV announcer: Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, OK. Chandler: Muskogee! That's like four hours from Tulsa. Woo hoo! TV announcer: And heres the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives . <Joey's eyes become large and he stands up> Joey: Oh my God! Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives? Joey: Yeah! I totally forgot I'm supposed to be there. I can't believe I forgot. I usually write stuff like this on my arm. <Chandler grabs Joey's left arm and pushes the sleeve up> <Joey looks> Oh! Stupid long sleeves. Chandler: What are you going to do? Joey: I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani." Like.. like I was some kind of idiot. Chandler: Well you proved them wrong. Joey nods: Yeah. <Chandler nods and his eyes get big like he's saying 'what the hell'> Opening Credits Ross and Rachels Apartment <Ross and Rachel are putting baby stuff together like they're going to be going somewhere.> Rachel to Emma: Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies. Ross: A lot of people are thankful for those. < knock on door> Woman at door: Hello? Rachel? Rachel: Who is it? Woman at door: It's your favorite sister. Ross and Rachel while looking at each other surprised and shocked: Jill? Woman at door in a sing song voice: Amy. Rachel: Hide my rings. <Ross goes into Rachel's room> Rachel: Oh. <opens door preparing herself and then happily says> Amy! Happy Thanksgiving. Amy: Do you have a hair straightener? Rachel: Um... hi. Amy: oh... hi.. <goes to Rachel with open arms> Rachel: Aw. <Amy grabs her arms> Amy: Hair Straightener? Rachel: I haven't seen you in like.. a year. Amy: Oh, I know, I know. I've just been crazed. Rachel: Oh well yeah me too. Um.. I had a baby. Amy: I decorated Dad's office. Rachel: Oh.. yeah? Well unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, <shakes head no> not the same thing. Amy: Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house. <Amy bending over fiddling with her purse when Emma cries and she hears Emma> Amy: Oh my God! Rachel: mh hmm.. Amy: Is this Emmett? <pointing to EMMA> Rachel: Uh.... its Emma. Amy: Its a girl? <Ross comes out of the bedrooms> Ross: Hey Amy. Rachel: Oh Amy, you remember Ross. Amy: Not really. But you are much cuter then that geeky guy she used to date. Ross: That was me. Amy: No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her since like the ninth grade. Ross with a look of wondering how long this is going to go on on his face: Still me. Amy: No, I'm not talking about you. <to Rachel> It was your fat friends brother with that bad afro, do you remember? Ross starts talking over her 'do you remember' line: Amy. I'm going to save you some time, ok. <spins finger around in circle> All me. Monica and Chandler's Apartment. <Joey is walking around looking worried. > Monica: Careful. <hands Chandler a china plate> Careful. CAREFUL! <Chandler is startled and nearly drops the plates.> Sorry. Chandler: I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise. <looks at china> hey wait a minute this isn't the china we picked out.. Monica: I know, after you left the store, I chose different ones. Chandler: Why? Monica: well no offense honey, but your taste is a little feminine for me. Chandler: Oh suddenly, flowers are feminine? < Phoebe comes in> Phoebe: Hey, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving! Joey: Hey happy Thanksgiving.. Pheebs! <motions her to come over> Phoebe: Hey, what's going on Joe? Joey: I.. I.. I need a good lie. Phoebe: Oh okay. How about the whole "man walking on the moon" thing. You know? You. you could. You could see the strings people! Joey: No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today. Phoebe: Ooh, honey. You stink at lying. Joey: I do not. Phoebe: Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it? Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do? Phoebe: Don't worry, don't worry. We'll come up with a good lie. I'll help you practice it. Joey: Oh great, that'd be great. Thank you. Phoebe: Sure, what.. what was the work thing? Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks> Phoebe: "Pick up grandma at the airport"? Joey: Oh.. man.. Ross and Rachel's Apartment. Amy with straight hair: Oh she's precious. Do you ever worry she's going to get your real nose? Rachel: Amy! <pause> Yes I do.. I really do. <grabs Ross' hand for support> <Amy's cell phone rings> Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs? Ross: Sure, we don't live there but... Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor. Rachel: Yeah, no. Ross has a PhD. Amy: Ew. <walks into Rachel's room, I'm guessing> Rachel: God she is unbelievable. Ross: I know, I mean a PhD is just as good as an MD. Rachel: Oh sure Ross, yeah. If I have a heart attck in a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush. Amy storms out: Stupid Thanksgiving. Rachel: What? What happened? Amy: My boyfriend canceled on me. I mean.. I I finally find a real relationship. I mean, someone that I can spend this day with and then his wife comes back into town. I swear, its almost not worth dating married guys. Ross: Don't say that. Amy: Oh. I was so looking forward to this. It was going to be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. We were going to have sushi. Rachel: Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um.. Ross, could I talk to you in private? Ross: Sure, you want to go upstairs? <Ross and Rachel go in the kitchen> Rachel: Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving. Ross: You know, I think thats a great idea. It'll be like the pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis. Rachel: Look I know she's a little tough to take. She has no where else to go, and she's my sister. Alright, she's Emma's aunt. And I would like them to bond. Ross: Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job. Rachel: Ross, you know what? She may need one..We're just going to have to make our peace with that! <Rachel grabs Ross' hand for support and starts to cry a little> Monica and Chandler's apartment Rachel opens their door: Hi. Everyone there says: Hi, hey. Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon. Everyone: Hi. Amy: Oh my god. You're on Days of Our Lives. Joey laughs: Yeah. Amy: wow. They must put a lot of makeup on you. Joey looks rejected: Hap.. Hap.. Happy Thanksgiving. <Joey turns away and Chandler reassuringly pats him on the back> Ross to Monica: Hi. Monica to Ross: Hi. <they hug and kiss on check> Monica to Emma: Hey you. Monica to Amy: So. Welcome. Is this your first time you're seeing Emma? Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma. Phoebe shakes her hand and says: Phoe-Be. Amy: Oh. That's a funny noise. <Monica and Amy turn away and walk into the living room towards the secret closet> Joey: Pheebs, I still need some help here Phoebe: Oh right, ok um. Ok so its not just the lie you tell. but its the way you tell it. . For example if you look down at the ground when you're talking, people know you're lying. Joey: Oh.. I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know.. I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor. Phoebe looks down: You are a terrific actor. <Joey realizes what she's doing> Amy coming out of the bathroom: Hey. Hey where's the baby? Rachel: Oh we just put her down for a nap. Amy: Oh I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died. Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy. Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married. Phoebe: Thats a great movie. <she claps> <Joey nods in agreement> Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dad. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here] Ross: Emma. Amy turns around to Phoebe: Emma, Ross wants you. Phoebe: PHOE-BE. Amy turns to Ross and Rachel: Why does she keep making that noise? Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby. Amy: Well who would? Ross: Well we haven't offically asked them yet, but we would want Monica and Chandler. Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma. Monica: yeah oh my god, I'm so moved. Amy: I don't believe this, hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby? Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby. Amy: Connected? I mean.. to what? She's.. she's a lump. Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry> Amy: <points to Chandler> This guy? Seriously? Later in the day. Monica: Okay! It's time for dinner. Everyone we're using our fancy china.. um and its very expensive so please be careful. Ross starts playing with a plate: Woah. Woah... <nearly really drops the plate and more seriously> Woah. Monica: Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be well recieved. <pinches Ross' arm> Ross makes some sort of sound to let us know it hurt. Joey: Hey! How come my plate's less fancy then everyone else's? Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? Monica: No, honey, its. thats a special plate. See its a game, whoever gets that plate wins. Joey: I can't believe I won. Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me. Rachel: Monica is Ross' sister. Amy: No, Ross' sister was really fat. Monica: That was me. Amy: No, she was this really dorky girl in high school that used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog. Rachel: Hey. Amy. You've got to stop doing that. <Amy gets pissed and starts cutting food on the fancy plate very harshly, you can hear the silveware scraping the fancy plate> Monica about to have a heart attck: Okay, listen I know you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates. I mean, I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut their food like this. <Monica holds a turkey leg up in the air over the plate trying to cut meat off with a Knfe> Monica: Now see, this way you protect the plate.. and lets face it you have fun. Amy: Okay, how about this, you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby? Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right? <Ross and Rachel pause and ponder this> Rachel: Well actually... Chandler: Actually what? Ross: well.. its just. its just in that case, then um. Emma would go to my parents. Chandler: What? Amy: Hurts, doesn't it? <Chandler gives a look that says "Yeah!"> Joey raises his hand: Uh.. who has to die for me to get her? <Everyone is looking around and at Joey with looks of 'what?' on their faces> Commercial Break. Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma? Ross looks down: No, that that is not what we're saying. Joey: Yeah he's lying. He looked down. <Joey looks to Phoebe and she nods in agreement> Chandler: Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that klled the three of you! Rachel: Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We think you're going to be a wonderful parent. It's just.. you're more the fun parent. Ross: Yeah and we'd want to make sure Emma has someone like Monica who is more uh. uh discliplinarin.. someone who can be firm and strict. Monica: Thats not how you see me, is it? Phoebe while cutting a sweet potatoe in the air: No you're all about the fun. Chandler: Look, I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable? Ross: No, you both are equally capable. Its just.. you're strongest when.. when you're together. Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up. Ross: Sure, Monica would have to give her up. Joey: I lie better then that, right? Chandler: So.. let me get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me? Phoebe: There's your movie! <claps> Later on. Monica opens her front door. Chandler is sitting in the hallway. Monica: Hey. There you are. You disappeared after dinner. Chandler: Oh? Did somebody miss me? Is there a child to raise poorly? Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom. Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be. Monica: No you learn these things. You grow into it. Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it. Monica: I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts. Chandler: Oh yeah, well can you picture me saying "Go to your room! You're grounded"? Monica: Can you hear me say "You're grounded"? Chandler: You said that to me last week. Monica: How hard is it? No shoes on the furniture. Back to Monica and Chandler's apartment. Amy is sitting on a chair by the bay window looking mad. Joey groans and gets off the phone: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me.. <whiny voice> And they all got to meet Santa! Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency. Joey: Oh, I like that, yeah. Wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency. Phoebe: Ooh, what happened? Joey all nervous and looking down and fiddling with his ear: Oh.. My sister's raccoon. Phoebe: No! Nothing with a raccoon. Joey: Arg... Alright, I'll take care of it. <throws hands out in the air> Monica and Chandler come through the front door. Monica: Oh wait.. What are you doing? Joey: Setting the table. Phoebe: Yeah we thought it would be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too. Monica: Oh how nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress. Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler. Ross: Hey dude, you okay? Sorry about before. Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey. Ross walks away with a face of yeah ok. Amy walks over to the couch and sits down next to Rachel: Ucch. <pauses> Uchh <louder this time> In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you. Rachel: UCHH! <much louder and longer then Amy's> Amy: You know.. this.. this is classic Rachel. Rachel: Yeah.. yeah right.. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby? Amy: This might be my one chance to have a baby Rachel. I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my carrer. Rachel: What? What carrer? Amy: Um.. I'm a decorator. Rachel: Ok. You decorate dad's office and so now you're a decorator. Okay! I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear. Amy: Why can't you ever be supportive? Rachel: Sup.. You want to talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby. Amy: Oh. Yeah. Well.. You didn't come see me when I was in the hospital when I was getting my lips done. Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you. Ross: Emma. Rachel turns to Ross: Oh whose side are you on? <back to Amy> I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child. Amy: How hard could it be? You do it. Joey: ooh oooh.. Amy: Do you want to know why you don't want me to have the baby? Rachel: uh huh. Amy: Because you don't want me to be happy. You.. you have always been jealous of me. Rachel: Jealous of what? Of your lack of responsiblity? You, your immaturity? Your total disregard of other people's feelings? Amy: Uh.. To name a few. You know.. You know.. You've just always been like this. You just have to have everything. And I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me? Rachel: Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with him! Amy: Oh come on, that was 20 years ago. Get over it. Rachel: I cannot, I cannot believe that I invited you here today. Amy: Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe. That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail. Rachel: ah ha ha. ah ha ha. <evil meancing laughter> It's forty five. Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute. <everyone sucks their breath in, in shock> Ross walks over: Too far, Amy. Too far. Rachel: You take that back. Amy: No. Rachel: Take it back! Amy: No! What are you going to do? Make me? Rachel: Heey man, I work out. <Ross nods his head and points at her, in a yes manner> Amy: So do I. Rachel: I do pilates. Amy: I do yoga. Rachel: Bring it on! <Amy pushes Rachel and Monica goes berserk and runs around the table> Monica: Put the plates in the boxes!! Put the plates in the boxes! Rachel: Did you just push me? Amy: Uh, yeah I think I did. Rachel: Alright. Thats it! <Pushes Amy back> Monica screaming at Ross: Forget the bubblewrap! There isn't time! <Rachel and Amy 'fighting'.. They're really just trying to slap each other and just keep slapping their hands> Rachel starts messing up Amy's hair: Frizzy frizzy frizzy frizzy!! <They go back to fighting and then it really gets on> Phoebe: Oh my god! Shouldn't we stop this? Joey: What? Are you out of your mind? Lets throw some jello on them. <Amy starts spitting on Rachel's hand and Rachel is saying ew and pushes her away> Rachel: Ew! Gross. <Amy runs towards Rachel and Rachel puts her arm out, hand on Amy's head and Amy starts trying to ht her but is missing, Rachel is moving backwards towards the table when her hand swipes the one plate left on the table on to the floor> <Everyone is shocked and Monica faints and Ross catches her> Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now. Amy: I'm sorry. Rachel: Mon, I'm so sorry. Chandler: Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it. Amy and Rachel at same time: Sorry. Chandler: By the way, that fight was totally arousing. Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma. Chandler: Oh yeah? Well thanks. Ross: So, so now do I get Joey? Chandler: Okay, but you should know he eats five times a day and shoves pennies up his nose. <Ross ponders that and walks away> Rachel: Are you okay Mon? Monica: uh huh.. I mean these things happen. Its' just a plate. Its not like somebody died. Phoebe: It's all right. You can mourn. Monica starts crying: Thank you. It was so beautiful. <gets up and walks towards the front door> I'm going to go to Joeys and get the pies. Joey: Actually its not pies, its just pie. Monica: I don't care. <pauses and realizes...> Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold. Rachel: Look Amy, it got a little of control..Um.. and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh.. if it really means that much to you.. Amy: So you're going to give me the baby? Rachel: Uh. No.. I was going to let you use my Ralph Lauren discount. Amy starting to cry: You are not going to regret this. <they hug and Rachel has this disgusted look on her face and then Emma starts crying> Rachel: She needs changing. Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first. COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.] Phoebe: Hey, does Monica know about her broken plates yet? Chandler: Nope... Phoebe: Broke them all, huh? Chandler: Yep... Phoebe: You gonna tell her? Chandler: Nope... (Monica walks in) Hey... so I'm gonna... put the plates back. You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a looong time. Monica: Like only if the queen comes? Chandler: Maybe not even then. (Joey walks in) Joey: Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Pheebs. Phoebe: No problem! Next week: stealing... (Chandler walks away to store the box of broken china.) Monica: Bye plates! Joey: Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh? (Chandler walks back, looking angrily at Joey) Monica: What? Something happened with the plates? Joey: Uhm... (looks down) Yeah... this uhm... raccoon came in...	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x08 - The One With Rachel's Other Sister"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Mark Kunerth Directed by: Ben Weiss Transcribed by: Andy Ellis [Scene: Chandler’s Office, Tulsa] Assistant: This kitty is Mittens, this one is Fitzhugh, and this little guy in the cat condo is Jinkys. Chandler: Yeah. That’s a lot of cats, Jolene. Single, are ya? [Phone rings – Chandler answers] Chandler: Chandler Bing. Joey: [On phone] Hey. How come you’re answering your own phone? Where’s your crazy assistant? [Chandler jumps up to turn the speaker phone off by lifting the receiver. The Assistant looks shocked, then storms off] Chandler: What’s up, Joe? [Joey’s apartment. Conversation switches between the two scenes when each person speaks] Joey: Okay. What have we wanted to always do together? Chandler: Braid each other’s hair then ride horseback on the beach? Joey: No, no, no. When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are gonna be at the Wizards – Knicks game courtside! Chandler: Courtside? Oh my god!! Joey: Yeah, maybe Michael Jordan will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee! Chandler: That is so cool. I’ll let Monica know. [Monica’s apartment. Phone rings] Monica: Hello? [Chandler’s office, Tulsa – Conversation switches between the two scenes when the people are talking] Chandler: Joey just called. He’s got courtside Knicks tickets for me and him tomorrow night. Monica: Really? But tomorrow night’s the only one I get off from the restaurant. If you go to the game then we won’t have another night together for a week. Chandler: But-t it’s courtside! The cheerleaders are gonna be right in … [mouths last words so Monica does not hear them]. That’s not the way to convince you. Monica: Look. I don’t want to be one of those wives that says “You can’t go to the game”, “you have to spend time with me”, so, if you just realize it on your own? Chandler: I…I…I know. You’re right. I wanna see you too. I’ve just got to figure out a way to tell Joey. He’s really looking forward to this. Monica: [On phone] Tell him you haven’t seen your wife in a long time. [In apartment] Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult. Tell him that…what little time that we have is precious. Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll think of something. [Monica hangs up, looking exasperated] [Starting credits] [Scene: Ross + Rachel’s apartment. Ross is tending to Emma. Rachel walks in from back. She comes over to tend to Emma] Ross: Wow! You look…er…hm……I mean, it’s just the…er…that, that dress! Er… Rachel: I hope the ends of these sentences are good! [Ross laughs] Ross: No, no…they’re good. It’s just been so long since I’ve seen you like this. You clean up good! [Ross stares at Rachel] Rachel: Ahh. [Looks down] Well, thank you! Ha-ha! [Ross continues to stare at Rachel] Okay – stop looking at me like that. The last time that happened [pointing towards Ross’s crotch] that happened [pointing at Emma] Ross: Oh, right! [Looking away] [Awkward silence] Ross: So, are you. Ah! Are you excited about your…er…first night away from Emma? Rachel: Yeah! Phoebe and I are gonna have so much fun! Thank you for watching the baby, by the way. Ross: Oh, it’s fine. Actually, I…I invited Mike over Rachel: Phoebe’s Mike? Ross: Yeah. Rachel: I didn’t know that you guys hung out. Ross: We don’t. But, I thought that it would be nice to get to know him. You know? We have a little dinner, drinks, conversation. Rachel: Awww. That’s so cute! Ross and Mike’s first date! [bat] Is that going to be awkward? What are you guys gonna talk about? Ross: Well, but, you know, we have a lot in common, you know, erm…he plays the piano, I played keyboards in college, or, he’s been divorced, I have…some…experience in that area [Rachel nods her head in agreement. Door knocks] Rachel: Yeah? [Door opens, Phoebe and Mike enter] Phoebe: Hi! Ross, Rachel: Hi! Phoebe: Ooh. You’re first night out, indeed! Rachel: Okay, So now I think Emma is properly down for the night but if you need anything Ross…[pointing finger into his chest] Ross: Rach, Rach, Rach: we’ll be fine. You go have fun. Rachel: Okay. You too. And I hope you score. [Rachel picks up her bag and Phoebe and her start to leave] Rachel: Bye [to Mike] Mike: Bye [Shuts door] Ross: So, welcome! Mike: I’ve got beer Ross: I’ve got bottled breast milk. [bat] Mike: Ahhh. Why don’t we start with the beer? Ross: Okay [Mike puts beer (6-pack of Fosters) on the table and takes his coat off. Ross and mike sit on the sofa] Ross: So, Phoebe tells me you, er, play the piano? Mike: Yeah? Ross: You, you know? I used to play the keyboards in college. Mike: Yah, do you have one here? [Ross swigs his beer] Ross: No Mike: Okay [nervous laugh] [‘Clink’ each other’s bottle of Foster’s together. Each take a swig] Mike: Ahhh. [Long, awkward silence] Ross: Erm, you know, I’m divorced. Er, Phoebe said you’ve been divorced. Mike: Yeah. [bat] I’m sorry. I don’t really like to talk about it. Ross: [Lost for words] Yeah, er… that’s okay. We’ll talk about something else. [They take another swig of beer] Mike: So, you’re a palaeontologist, right? Ross: Yeah. Mike: My cousin’s a palaeontologist. Ross: Ah! [Silence] Ross: Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about. [Scene: Monica and Chandler’s apartment. Monica has a bottle of red wine on the table, along with two filled glasses. Chandler bursts through the door quickly, pulling his suitcase along with him] Monica: Hi! [Surprised] Chandler: Hey! Monica: Welcome home. Chandler: Oh, well, look at you! [Chandler closes and locks the door] Monica: What do you think? Chandler: Well, it’s great, well, I’m just wearing the same thing underneath! Look at you. [Monica and Chandler hug and kiss. Loud bang outside] Joey: Ooh. Hey, how come you door’s locked? Monica: Just a second. Chandler: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Joey can’t know that I am here. Monica: Why not? Chandler: Because I didn’t know how to tell him that I couldn’t go to the Knicks game, so I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa. Monica: So you lied to him? Chandler: Eh, it is always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion. [Monica glares at him] Except with you! [Rattling of the doorknob] Joey: Hey! Open the door! What’s going on? [Knock. Monica opens the door slightly. Chandler sneaks behind it] Monica: Hi! Joey: Why are you dressed like that? Monica: [Nervous giggle] Because I, erm, well, Chandler’s gonna be home in a couple of days, so I thought that I would just, er, practice the art of seduction. Joey: I thought I heard a man’s voice before? Monica: I was just doing Chandler’s side of the conversation, y’know like “Hi”, “How do I look” [In Chandler’s voice] “Really sexy”, “Could I be any more turned on?” [Chandler slaps Monica on the shoulder. Monica slaps him back. It hurts Chandler] Joey: Woah, woah, woah. Why are there two glasses of wine out? Monica: Because, one of them is for you! [Monica goes to get a glass. Chandler looks at Joey through the peep-hole and Chandler ducks. Monica comes back to the door with the two glasses of red wine. Gives one to Joey. ‘Clinks’ the glasses together] Okay, bye, bye! [Shuts door] Chandler: You know, it’s funny. I’ve been practising the art of seduction as well! Hya! [Does a wiggle] Monica: You might wanna keep practising. Chandler: Yeah. [Chandler’s phone goes off] It’s Joey. Monica: What? [Chandler presses a button on the phone and puts the phone up to his ear to listen. Monica puts her ear by it too.] Chandler: Hey, Joe! [Joey’s apartment. Scenes change when the different people speak] Joey: Dude, come home! Chandler: What? Why? Joey: Come home! Chandler: Look, I can’t. What’s going on? Joey: I don’t know how to tell you this, but I think that Monica’s cheating on ya! I told you that you shouldn’t have married someone much hotter than you! Chandler looks at Monica. They nod then put their ears back to the phone. Joey walks out of his apartment and up to Monica’s door] Right, look. If you can’t come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna… Chandler: [Loudly] No! Joey: I just heard him! Chandler: [Quiet] Can you hear him now? Joey: No. Right, I’m going in! Chandler: [Loudly] No! Wait! Joey: I heard him again! [Chandler starts to freak out on the spot] Chandler: Right. Just stay there. I'm coming home. Joey: Great. I’ll see you when you get here. I’m gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out. Chandler: Is that really necessary? Joey: Absolutely. You’d do it for me! Not that you’d ever have to, ‘cos I know how to keep my women completely satisfied. [Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment. Both Ross and Mike are sat on the sofa, with Fosters in their hands. Mike is blwing across the top of his bottle] Ross: Shouldn’t the pizza be here by now? They said 30 minutes or less. How long has it been? Mike: [Looks at watch] Eleven minutes. [Still looking at watch] And now twelve. [Picks up bottle] Do you like the beer? Ross: I do. I do. Although it is actually a lager. Mike: Oh. What’s the difference between a beer and a lager? Ross: I don’t know. We can look it up. Mike: Things are about to get wild! [Scene: A bar. Phoebe and Rachel are carrying drinks] Phoebe: Oh, god. Do you remember the girls’ nights that we used to have? Sitting around, talking about you and Ross? Rachel: Oh, god. It seems like forever ago. Phoebe: I know. [Both sit down] Phoebe: So what’s going on with you and Ross? Rachel: Well, um, I don’t know. I mean, for a long time, nothing. You know, actually, right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a little thing. Phoebe: Woah! Oh my god! I love things! What happened? Rachel: Well, um, first he told me that he liked how I looked, and then, erm, we had a little, erm, eye contact. Phoebe: Eye contact? Rachel: Uh huh. Phoebe: I hope you were using protection. [A waiter comes over with two drinks on his tray. He places them on the table] Waiter: Excuse me, um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar. [The waiter leaves. Phoebe and Rachel look to see who it is] Phoebe: Should we send them something back? Yes, let’s do! Let’s send them mashed potatoes!! Rachel: No, wait, don’t do that! It’s gonna make them think that they can come over here! Phoebe: So, what if they do? Rachel: We’re not here to meet guys. You have a boyfriend. I have a…baby and a Ross. Phoebe: Yeah, but, um, nothing has to happen. Just having fun. You know, not everything has to go as far as ‘eye contact’. [Scene: Monica and Chandler’s apartment] Monica: Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you are not in Tulsa. Chandler: Don’t you think it’s better for him to think that you’re cheating on me than for him to think that I'm cheating on him? [Silence] I heard it! Monica: I don’t want him to think that I'm having an affair. Chandler: Alright. I’ve got a plan. I’ll go down the fre escape… Monica: Yes. Because all good plans start with “I’ll just go down the fre escape…” Chandler: Hear me out, woman! I’ll go down the fre escape, then I’ll wait for a while. Then, when I come back up the stairs, it’ll just be like I got back from Tulsa. Then, Joey and I will come in here and see that there is no guy in here. Monica: Aren’t you afraid that Joey’s going to figure all this out? [Silence] I heard it! [Chandler goes to the window, opens it, looks out, then comes back in] Chandler: Just gonna wait for a little while. Monica: Scary pigeon’s back? Chandler: It’s huge! [Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment. There is a nearly-empty pizza box on the table. Mike and Ross have swapped positions on the couch. Mike still has a bottle of Foster’s in his hand. He is making funny noises. Ross looks bored. Mike stops making the noise, looks at Ross, looks back at the bottle and continues to make the noise. Ross looks exasperated] [Scene: Bar. Phoebe and Rachel are talking to the two men that sent the drinks over to them] Rachel: Oh my god! I can’t believe you live in that building! My grandmother lives in that building, Ida Green? No sense of personal space? Kinda smells of chicken? Looks like a potato?!? Bill: Spuds is your grandmother? Rachel: Yeah! That’s my muppy! Kevin: So, we’re on our way to a couple of parties. Maybe we can get your numbers and give you a call when we find something fun. Phoebe: Yeah, I’m sorry. We weren’t really looking for anything to happen with you guys. I-I have a boyfriend. Kevin: Alright. That’s no big deal. [Kevin and Bill get up] Bill: So, she has a boyfriend. [To Rachel] What is your situation? Rachel: Oh, it’s complicated. I don’t actually have a boyfriend, but, erm… Bill: Can I have your number? Rachel: I’m sorry, no. Bill: Okay [They start to leave] Rachel: Oh, sure! [Reaches into her handbag] Phoebe: Oh my god! You’re giving your real number! Bill: Okay, thanks. I’ll give you a call later tonight. Rachel: Great. [Gives thumbs up] Bill: Bye [Leaves] Rachel, Phoebe: Bye Phoebe: Wow. So that's great. You, Bill, Ross and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking? Rachel: I don’t know. He was cute and he liked me. It was an impulse. Phoebe: But what about Ross? What about your moment? Don’t you want to talk to Ross about it? Rachel: No, no, ‘cos I know exactly how the conversation is going to go. “Hey Ross”, “You know, I think that we had a moment before” [As Ross] “Yeah, um, me too” [As herself] “Well, but I’m not sure I really wanna do anything about it!” [As Ross] “Yeah, um, me, um, neither.” [As herself] “Ross, should we just continue to live together and not really tell each other how we’re really feeling?” [As Ross] “Yeah, that works for me, um, um.” Phoebe: Yeah, I see what you mean. By the way, nice Ross imitation. But your Rachel was not whiney enough. Rachel: Hey! Phoebe: Better! [Phoebe reaches for her drink] Rachel: The point is: maybe I should stop waiting around, waiting for moments with Ross. I should just move on with my life. Phoebe: So, really? Are you moving on from Ross? Rachel: Dunno, do I have to decide right now? Phoebe: You kinda just did. That guy’s gonna call you tonight. Ross is going to pick up the phone. That’s a pretty clear message. Rachel: Oh my god! Ross!! Ross is gonna pick up the phone! Ah, I have to get my number back! Oh my god! He’s gone! Phoebe: [As Rachel] “Ah, I have to get my number back!”, “Oh my god! He’s gone!” dad on! [Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment. Ross and Mile look bored out of their heads] Mike: Passst. I’m gonna take off. Ross: So soon? Mike: Yeah. Ross: Okay. Thanks, er, for the beer. Mike: You mean lager. Ross: Ah, yeah, good times. [Ross opens door. Mike steps out through door. Ross closes door] Mike: Ohh. [Relieved to be out of there] Ross: Ohh. [Relieved that Mike has gone] [Mike’s mobile phone rings] Mike: Hello? [Bar. Phoebe is on the other end of the phone. Scenes switch with the conversation] Phoebe: Hey Mike, it’s me. Listen: Is Ross near you? Mike: Uh no, I just left. Phoebe: Well, you have to go back in. Mike: What? Go back? To the land where time stands still? Phoebe: I’m so sorry, honey, but, okay. Rachel gave this guy her number, and, erm, she does not want Ross to answer the phone, so you have to intercept all of his calls. Mike: I can’t do that. Phoebe: [To Rachel] He says that he can’t do that Rachel: Oh, give me. [Rachel takes the phone of Phoebe] Hi, Mike! Hi, listen, I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what. If you do this, ah, Phoebe will do anything you want. Seriously, I’m talking dirty stuff. Phoebe: Alright, give it here. [Phoebe takes the phone] Hello? I'm sorry about her, but, she wasn’t wrong about the dirty stuff. Mike: Alright, I’ll do it. [Phoebe sticks her thumb up to Rachel] Really, though, how much dirtier can it get? Phoebe: Oh, oh, Mike! Bye. [Hangs up] [Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment. Knock at the door. Ross opens the door. Mike is there.] Mike: Hey, buddy! Ross: Hi! Mike: Can I come back in? Ross: W-Why? [Blocking route of entry] Mike: Well, [negotiating an entrance] I was just thinking of how muck more we have to talk about. Ross: [Exasperated] But, you left! [Scene: Hallway between Monica/Chandler’s apartment and Joey’s apartment. Joey is sat on a stool, holding a baseball bat. Chandler runs up the stairs] Joey: Wow, that didn’t take long. I thought you said Tulsa was a three-hour flight? Chandler: Well,… you’re forgetting about the time difference. [Joey looks puzzled for a second, then smiles and points at Chandler. Chandler smiles and points back. Chandler opens the door to his apartment and enters. Joey follows.] Monica: Huh, Chandler – you’re home! Chandler: That’s right. Your husband’s home, so now the sex can stop. [Monica looks stunned] Monica: What are you saying? Chandler: Joey said that you’re in here with another man! Monica: There's no man in here! How dare you accuse me of that? [Slaps Chandler] Joey: Alright, alright. Then maybe you won’t mind if me and my friend takes a look around then. Huh! Where you at? [Joey goes into Monica and Chandler’s bedroom. Banging can be heard] Chandler: What’s he doing? Monica: I arranged some pillows on the bed to make it look like a guy! [Both laugh. Joey enters] Joey: Bedroom’s clear, although you might need some new pillows. Chandler: Alright, well, I’ll check the guest bedroom. [Chandler heads off to guest bedroom. Joey walks up to Monica and starts sniffing loudly and heavily] Joey: Why do I smell men’s cologne? [Monica smells Joey] Monica: I think that's you. [Joey smells himself] Joey: Oh yeah, I rubbed a magazine on myself earlier. [Chandler re-enters] Chandler: Nobody here, Joe. Joey: I guess not. Monica: I can’t believe you thought I was cheating. You owe me an apology. Joey: You’re right, Monica. I’m so sorry. Monica: It’s an honest mistake. It can happen to anybody. Alright, see ya. [Monica pushes Joey towards the door. Joey sees Chandler’s cases] Joey: Wait, wait, wait a minute. If you’ve just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase bat you here? [Chandler looks at Monica] Chandler: I climb down the fre escape, and you can’t put that in the closet? [Joey looks shocked] [Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment. Ross and Mike are sat on the sofa. Mike is reading out of a book] Mike: So, with the exception of the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing. Fascinating, isn’t it? Ross: [Looking bored] Maybe you should look up fascinating. [Phone rings] Mike: I’ll get it [Jumps across Ross and grabs the phone. Ross looks shocked] Hello? Ross’ place, Mike speaking. [Passing phone to Ross] It’s for you. [Ross takes phone] Ross: I don’t understand what just happened here. [Scene: Monica and Chandler’s apartment. As before] Joey: What’s going on? Chandler: I’m sorry. I told you that I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I didn’t…didn’t know…didn’t think you’d understand. Joey: What? You think I’m too dumb to know that a husband needs to be with his wife? Uh? You think I’m like, duhhh! [Taps head with baseball bat – it hurts him] Monica: Joey? Joey: Yeah? Monica: I don’t know what to say. We shouldn’t have lied to you. Chandler: I feel so bad. Is there, is there anything I can do to make it up to you? Joey: You could go to the game with me, even though I know you said you couldn’t, but then you lied to me, tricked me and gave me a bump on the head. Chandler: I’m sorry. That’s the one thing I can’t do. I promised that I’d be with Monica. Joey: [Looking sad] Alright. Monica: You can go. Chandler: [Turning around] What? Monica: You should go to the game. It’s okay, I want you to. Chandler: Really? Are you going to be okay? Monica: Yeah, it’ll be fine. Y’know, maybe I’ll stay and practice the art of seduction. Chandler: You’re gonna put sweats on and clean, aren’t ya? Monica: That’s gonna be so hot! [Monica and Chandler hug] Joey: Thanks, here’s ya ticket. Chandler: Thanks. Listen, I’m never gonna lie to you again. Joey: Okay. Chandler: And I want you to know that no-one thinks that you are stupid. Joey: Thanks, man. [They walk down the hall. Chandler looks at his ticket. Turns around and heads back to his apartment.] Where ya going? Chandler: Game’s tomorrow night, Joe. [Enters apartment] [Joey looks at his ticket and makes a ‘whoops’ expression] [Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment. Rachel and Phoebe enter through the door] Rachel, Phoebe: Hey! Ross, Mike: Hi! [Ross jumps up out of his seat, runs and hugs Rachel. Mike walks up to Phoebe] Mike: So glad you’re back [Hugs Phoebe] Rachel: So, what did you guys do? Ross: You know, we just drank some beer…Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct… Mike: It’s true, I did. Phoebe: Well, goodbye! Ross, Rachel: Bye! Mike: Bye! Rachel: Have fun, Pheebs! See ya guys. [Phoebe and Mike leave] Ross: Rachel, lock the door, lock the door, seriously! Rachel: Oh sh**t, I forgot to pay Phoebe for the drinks! [Goes outside into the hallway] Wait, wait. So, did he call? Did that guy call? Mike: No, just his mom. Rachel: Oh, around 8:30? Mike: Yeah. Rachel: Then again at 9? Mike: Uh huh. Rachel: Yeah… [Inside apartment. Phone rings. Ross picks up the phone] Ross: Hello? Oh no, she’s not here right now. Can I take a message? Bill from the bar? Okay…Bill from the bar. I’ll make sure she gets your number. [Ross hangs up the phone. He re-reads the message. Rachel re-enters and goes to tend to the baby] Rachel: Ahhh. Ross: So, er, so how was it? Have you guys, you guys, had a good time? Rachel: Oh, it’s so much fun. It’s so good to be out. [Ross picks up the note] Ross: Ah, Rach? Rachel: Yeah? [Ross puts note into his pocket] Ross: Never mind. [End credits] [Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are sat on the sofa. Ross enters] Ross: Hey, you guys! Phoebe, Mike: Hi! [Ross sits down] Ross: Ah. Phoebe: I’ll be right back. I just have to go to the bathroom. [Phoebe gets up and heads for the bathroom] [Uneasy silence] Mike: Stout. That’s a kind of beer. [Ross gets up and leaves] [The End]	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x09 - The One With Rachel\u2019s Phone Number"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Doty Abrams Directed by: Kevin S. Bright Transcribed by: Stephan Hoffmeister -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Scene: Monica & Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there. Phoebe recites the last verse of "The Night Before Christmas", written in 1822 by Clement Clarke Moore (1779-1863), to Joey.] Phoebe: ...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle; and away they all flew like the down of a thistle; but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!" Joey: (impressed) Wow, that was great! You really wrote that? Phoebe: (smiling) Uh-huh. Chandler: (coming from the bedroom) Say goodbye elves, I'm off to Tulsa. Monica: I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas. Ross: You're really not coming back? Chandler: Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired. Monica: It's so unfair, you don't even like your job! Chandler: So, who does? (The following responses are overlapping:) Phoebe: Oh, I like my job. Joey: I love my job. Rachel: Yeah, I can't wait to go back to work. Ross: I can't get enough dinosaurs! Chandler: I'm sorry I won't be here. Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand. Chandler: Thanks. (they kiss) I'll see you new year's day. Monica: (shocked) You're not gonna be here new year's eve?? Chandler: Did I not mention that? Monica: No! Chandler: (thinks for a second, then waves his arms, exclaiming:) ...AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (and runs out of the apartment) --- Opening Credits --- [Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room. Chandler's staff/co-workers are sitting round the table; Chandler is walking around, when he notices a piece of paper attached to the back of his chair.] Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas eve and you'd rather be with your familys, but there's no call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler. (Wendy enters the conference room, carrying a cardboard box.) Wendy: Hey! Others: Hey. Chandler: Hey. Where've you been? Wendy: I was, uh, checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three, oh, it was really beautiful, they have all these decorations and this huge tree and I just, uh... to hell with them, we have to work. -- So I stole ther ham. (She turns the cardboard box upside down over the conference table, a big piece of ham falls out.) Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your familys, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here. Claudia: My kid's in a play right now. Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order. Nick: (reading off his card) "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet". Chandler: Well, that's like money in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks! Wendy: Now it feels like Christmas. Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your familys tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to. Nick: You can come to my house! Chandler: Haha, no thanks! Wendy: That was a nice pep-talk. Chandler: Oh, thanks! I'm... actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker. Wendy: So, if you were home right now, what would you be doing? Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional... [Flashback to 410 - TOW The Girl From Poughkeepsie] [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holiday song.] Phoebe: So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. No, don't sing along. Monica, Moncia, have a happy Hanukkah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!" Happy holidays, everybody! [Flashback to 610 - TOW The Routine] [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.] Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet. Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I'm right here. Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you. Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica. Chandler: What? That's terrible! Phoebe: No-no, we do it every year! Chandler: Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible. Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us, that wily... minx. Rachel: Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK? Chandler: No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents! Phoebe: Oh no, we have to! Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too. Phoebe: Well then, you should look with us. Chandler: Why? Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas? Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her. Phoebe: Oh, that's it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea! Oh yeah. Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why? Chandler: If I help, we can find 'em faster! Rachel: That's right! (Phoebe looks under the couch) Phoebe: Ooh ooh, we have a live one! Rachel: Oh, it's a Macy's bag! (Phoebe tips it upside down, and a shoe falls out) Rachel: Oh. Phoebe: Ooh, who's it for? Rachel: (Reading from a tag that's attached to the shoe) "Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.: Chandler, I knew they'd break you." [Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.] Joey: Rach, these are for you. Rachel: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car. Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do. Chandler: OK, Pheebs, your turn. Phoebe: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas? Joey: Uh-huh. Phoebe: You guuuyys. Joey: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth. Ross: You got me a cola drink? Chandler: And, a lemon lime. Ross: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater. Chandler: And last but not least. (Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.) Joey: They're ribbed for your pleasure. [Flashback to 710 - TOW The Holiday Armadillo] [Scene: Monica, Chandler and Phoebe's, Ross is costumed as an Armadillo.] Ross: Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights? Ben: Cool! Ross: Yeah! Monica: Come on Ben. (Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.) Ross: Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees... Chandler: (entering in a Santa costume) Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him) Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.) Ross: What are you doing here, Santa? Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man? Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember? Chandler: What? Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say. (They walk to the kitchen; everyone is lowering their voices) Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing? Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work! Ross: Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave. Chandler: Why? Ross: Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-you're wrecking it. Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly. Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me. Chandler: Fine, I'll give the suit back. (Ross turns around and walks back to Ben.) Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.) Chandler: Santa? Really? Monica: Yeah, is that okay? Chandler: Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa? Monica: No. Chandler: Then it's okaaay! (They kiss.) [Scene: Back in the conference room in Tulsa.] Chandler: You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your familys. It's bad enough that we're working new year's eve. (All others are looking up, surprised) Did I not tell anyone about new year's eve? -- Alright, look, go! Go home, okay? Merry Christmas! Go. (All are leaving, wishing each other a merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.) Chandler: Good, God's speed, good people! (he starts to close the door, turns around and sees Wendy) You're not gonna go? Wendy: Naah... I couldn't leave you alone. Chandler: Ah. Thanks. Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some pissed off insurance people looking for that ham. Chandler: Ah. (The phone rings; he answers it) Chandler Bing. [Scene change back an forth: Mondler's Apartment, Monica's on the other end of the line. The phone's speaker is turned on, so the rest of the gng, sitting around the phone, can hear Chandler.] Monica: Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a merry Christmas. Others: (simultaneously) Merry Christmas! (except for Phoebe...) Phoebe: (simultaneous to the others) Ble-blah-blar Blargh! (All the others look at her, stunned/incredulous) Chandler: Ahh, merry Christmas; I miss you guys! Monica: So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard? Chandler: Ah, well no, it's just uh, me and Wendy. Monica: Wendy? -- That sounds like a girl's name. Chandler: It is. Did I... not tell you about her? Monica: Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about new year's eve. Where is everybody else? Chandler: I send them home. Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty? Chandler: Uhh, uh... Ross: (in a low voice) Answer faster, answer faster! Chandler: I don't know! Ross: (in the same low voice) Answer better, answer better! Chandler: I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague. Monica: What does she do there? Chandler: Oh, she's regional Vice President; She's... just below me. Monica: She did WHAT? Chandler: BE-LOW me! Joey: Ahh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma? Monica: What?? Chandler: Well, she... she didn't win... Monica: Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work. Chandler: Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably... Rachel: (interrupting him) Oh Chandler, stop talking! Chandler: Honey, there's really nothing to worry about. Monica: Okay. Chandler: I'm serious! Monica: Okay! Chandler: Merry Christmas. Monica: Merry Christmas. Chandler: Merry Christmas, you guys! Others: (simultaneously) Yeah, Merry... Christmas. (again, Phoebe...) Phoebe: (simultaneous to the others) Blah blargah, blar-blab. (Again the others just look at her, silent, puzzled.) [Scene: back in the conference room in Tulsa] Chandler: (hanging up the phone) The wife says "Hi!". Wendy: Ah. Fun conversation? Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen. Wendy: Huh? Really? -- Hm, that'd be so terrible? (She gets hold of Chandler's tie, slowly moving her hands upwards on the tie, getting closer and closer to him, seductive.) Chandler: This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but... you're getting ham on my only tie. (She's getting closer to him, the scene fades to black.) [Scene: The conference room in Tulsa again, Chandler is trying to evade Wendy] Chandler: Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.) Wendy: (laughs) ...Missy? Chandler: I don't know; I'm not used to girls making passes at me! ... (She lets go of his tie) Wait a minute... am I sexy in Oklahoma? Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his waist/chest.) Chandler: (flattered) No,... no... (realizing) NO! (He quickly gets several steps away from her.) Look, I'm, I'm married! Wendy: So? I'm married. (Showing him the ring on her finger.) Chandler: I'm happily married. Wendy: Oh. What's that like? Chandler: Right. So, I'm sorry... Wendy: Seriously? Happily married. So that phone call before, that was ... happy? Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us. Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me? (Chandler starts to think about it...) [Flashback to 716 - TOW The Truth About London] [Scene: London, Chandler's hotel room. He was getting ready for bed when Monica pays him a visit and they started talking] Chandler: I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight! Monica: Really? Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out? Monica: Well, not anymore. Chandler: But we don't do that. Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun. Chandler: How drunk are you? Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage. Chandler: (thinks) That's the perfect amount! Monica: Okay! (They run to the bed, sit down, and start making out again.) Monica: (breaking the kiss) Y'know what's weird? Chandler: What? Monica: This doesn't feel weird! Chandler: I know. Monica: You're a really good kisser. Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers? Monica: Hm-hmm! Chandler: Okay! (They do so and they take off their clothes.) Monica: Wow! You are really fast! Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you. Monica: We're gonna see each other naked. Chandler: Yep! Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time? Chandler: Count of three? Monica: One! Chandler: Two! Monica: Two! Both: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.) Chandler: Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined. Monica: Eh, we weren't that close anyway! Chandler: Eh! (They start making out again) [Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.] Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man? Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him. Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this. Monica: I think you're better than you think you are. Chandler: Really? Okay, so... Monica: (interrupting) Know when to stop. Chandler: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay? Monica: Yeah. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around:) Don't do the dance. Chandler: Right! [Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.] Monica: I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. Chandler: Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new. Monica: You're so efficient. I love you! Chandler: Let's go! (Starts to leave.) Monica: No-no-no, wait! We need something old! Chandler: Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve. Monica: That'll work! Chandler: I don't think so. Monica: Okay, now we just need something borrowed! Chandler: (looks around) Here just...take this. (Hands her the sweater.) Monica: That's stealing! Chandler: No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress. (She does so and it makes her look pregnant.) Monica: Ohh. (Rubs her fake stomach.) Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.) [Flashback to 702 - TOW Rachel's Book] [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.] Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that. Chandler: Ehh. Monica: Eh, you work for that. Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding. Monica: You do?! Chandler: Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do. Monica: Oh, you're so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff? Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college. Monica: You thought about that? Chandler: Yeah. Monica: How many kids were we gonna have? Chandler: Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy. Monica: What else did you think about? Chandler: Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old. Monica: (laughs) Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding. Chandler: Sure you do. Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage. Chandler: You sure? Monica: Uh-hmm. Chandler: I love you so much. Monica: I love you. (They kiss.) [Scene: Mondler's Apartment, everyone except Chandler is there; they're opening their presents] Rachel: (opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it! Ross: Really? You're not gonna return it? Rachel: Well, not (the\|this) second! Phoebe: (at the window) Hey look, you guys, it's snowing! (The others all get up and go to the window.) Rachel: Oh wow, it's so beautiful... Ross: Wow, it really is! (They all stand a moment in silence, staring out of the window.) Monica: "Wendy" is a fat girl name. Phoebe: Aren't we done with that? Monica: Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine? (Shortly after that, Chandler enters.) Chandler: Hey! (Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.) Ross: Oh my god... Joey: Hey-heeyyy - Look at that, it's a Christmas miracle! Monica: What are you doing here? Chandler: I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much. Joey: Hey, hey, uh, who did you miss the most? Chandler: Monica. Joey: Got ya. (blinks an eye) Chandler: I never want to leave you again! Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired. Chandler: Turns out they can't fre me. Because I quit. Monica: What? Ross: What, you, you really quit your job? Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he really* wants to do? Rachel: What do you really want to do? Chandler: (realizing) I have not thought this through! Monica: Oh my god! Chandler: I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it. Monica: No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great! Chandler: Thanks! Phoebe: Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined. Chandler: (flattered) Ahh... Phoebe: Now give me my real gift. (Chandler hands Phoebe an envelope, and some more to Monica) Phoebe: (to Chandler) Thank you. Chandler: (to Monica) Here, pass these, will ya.. (points to the others) (Monica passes the Envelopes on to Ross, Joey and Rachel.) Ross: Oh, hey... (They all open their envelopes.) Ross: (reading off his card) "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet." -- How did you know? Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this. Chandler: I... thought it was a timely start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys. Joey: Mine's is to Lilian Myers. Chandler: I don't have a job! --- Closing Credits --- [Scene: Mondler's Apartment, Monica is cleaning up, Chandler is sitting on the couch, checking the Job offers in a Newspaper.] Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. You are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man! Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow? (Chandler looks at the bill, thinking... then looks at the offer in the Newspaper and makes some dancing moves to see if he's up for the job...) --- End --- 1	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x10 - The One With Christmas In Tulsa"}	foreverdreaming
Teleplay by: Peter Tibbals Story by: Judd Rubin Directed by: Gary Halvorson -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Scene: Chandler and Monica's] Chandler: Hey! Monica: Good morning, Tiger! I'm making you a nice big breakfast so you can keep up your strength for tonight. You're gonna get me good and pregnant. Chandler: I've got nowhere to go this morning. I'm unemployed! I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life. Monica: Well, I just lost my erection. Chandler: I mean, what am I supposed to do with myself? Monica: You're supposed to find your passion in life. You can be whatever you wanna be now. It's exciting. Chandler: But it's all so overwhelming. I don't know where to start. Monica: Hey, wait a second. I can help you with this. You just need to be organized. We can make a list of your qualifications, and categorize jobs by industry. There could be folders and files! Chandler: Hey! This is where your hyper-organized-pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off! Monica: I know!!! My erection is back! Opening Titles [Scene: Central Perk] Joey: (To gn who comes over with coffee and a muffin) Thank you! Phoebe: Joey, can I have a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin? Joey: Okay. Phoebe Thank you. (Pours his coffee in a thermos and puts his muffin in her purse.) Thank you! Joey:: Pheebs, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian? Phoebe: I'm sorry, it's just, I'm a little short on cash. Joey: If you want I could loan you some money? Phoebe: Oh no, no, no. I learned never to borrow money from friends. No, that's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore. Joey: Oh, hey, how about this? Wanna be an extra on my show? Phoebe: You could do that? Joey: Yeah, yeah. The pay is pretty good and you could do it for as long as you need. Phoebe: Oh my god, I'm gonna be on TV! Joey: Okay, now. I gotta tell you, being on TV isn't as glamorous and exciting as you think. Phoebe: Oh, really? Joey: No it is awesome! (Rachel and Ross enter with Emma) Ross: Hi guys. All: (Adlib hellos) Phoebe: Wow! Hey, why are you all dressed up? Ross: Rachel and I are bringing Emma to Ralph Lauren today to introduce her to everyone. Doesn't she look cute? Joey: She sure does. Why does she have a pink bow taped to her head? Rachel: Well, because if one more person says "what a cute little boy" I'm gonna whip them with a car antenna! Ross: I think she's gonna be the ht of the office, huh? She's gonna be hotter than peasant blouses and A-line skirts. Can I get a blue bow? [Scene: Chandler and Monica's] Monica: (Flipping through bunch of folders as Chandler enters from bathroom) Okay, I have looked through a bunch of career guides, photocopied and highlighted key passages and put them into alphabetical folders so you can make an informed decision. Chandler: How long was I in there? Monica: Okay. Let us start with the A's. Advertising. Chandler: Wait. Advertising! That's a great idea! Monica: Don't you want to look through the rest? Chandler: I don't think I have to hear the rest. Advertising makes perfect sense. Sorry you had to waste all this time, though. Monica: You call eight hours alone with my label maker wasted time? Ooh, now I get to use my shredder! Chandler: I mean, I can write slogans. I mean, how hard can it be, right? "Cheese. It's milk that you chew." "Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy." "A grape. Because who can get a water melon in your mouth?" Monica: I got one. "Socks. Because your family's feet deserve the best." Chandler: Honey? Leave it to the pros. Monica: I actually know someone in advertising. I grew up with this guy who is a vice president at a big agency. Maybe I can get him to meet you? Give me the phone. Chandler: "The phone. Bringing you closer to people...who have phones." Monica: "Marriage. It's not for everybody." [Scene: Ralph Lauren] Rachel: That went well. Almost everybody knew that she was a girl. Ross: Yeah, after you punched that one guy who got it wrong, word spread. Rachel: I'm just gonna go in my office and pick up some stuff . (To the guy behind her desk) Who the hell are you!? Guy: Who the hell are you? Rachel: I'm the hell person whose office this is! Ross: Good one, Rach. Guy: I'm Gavin Mitchell, the person who's taken over your job. Rachel: Excuse me? Gavin: Oh, your baby's so cute. Why did you put a pink bow on a boy? [Scene: DOOL set] Phoebe: Joey, look at me! I'm a nurse! Joey: Yes you are. I think it may be time for my sponge bath. Sorry, I'm just so used to hitting on the extras. So, are you excited about your scene? Phoebe: Yeah! But I'm a little shaky and nervous. Joey: Oh, relax. Don't be. You'll be fine, you'll be fine. They'll probably just make you stand in the back. Director: Okay, okay, okay! (To Phoebe) You. Here, come here, here. You're gonna take this tray, you're gonna stay on this yellow mark. You're gonna move on "action!" You're gonna walk over to the operating table. You're gonna stop on that blue mark, you're gonna put the tray down. Don't walk too fast! But don't doddle. Phoebe: Okay, now. What? Director: And...Action!! (Phoebe starts walking toward the operating table. Her hands are shaking like crazy, causing the tray to rattle.) Director: Cut! Cut! Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just a little nervous. Director: Well, don't be. Phoebe: Okay, that helps. Director: And...Action! (Phoebe starts walking towards the table again. She's even more shaky than before and almost drops the tray.) Director: Cut! Joey: Hey, you know what? Don't worry, Pheebs! It usually takes me three takes too! (Off the director's look) Alright, eight. Director: And...Action! (Ok, here we go again. Phoebe starts walking toward the operating table, but stops every time the tray starts to rattle. She eventually drops it on the floor, but finishes the scene anyway by putting the now non-existent tray on the table.) [Scene: Central Perk] Interviewer: So, do you have any other question about advertising? Chandler: No, no. But let me show you what I can do. "Bagels and donuts. Round food for every mood." Interviewer: Monica warned me you might do that. I actually think we might have something for you at the agency. Chandler: Really? That's great! Interviewer: It's an unpaid internship. Chandler: It's funny. When you said "unpaid" it sounded like you said "unpaid." Interviewer: Come on now. Monica has a good job. And it's not like you have a family to support. Chandler: Actually, we're trying, and I don't think Monica's gonna wanna postpone it. We're supposed to have sex tonight. Actually, she's probably at home naked right now. I tend to keep talking until somebody stops me. I can just picture her on the bed right now. Interviewer: Stop! Interviewer: Okay. [Scene: Ralph Lauren] Rachel: Wait a minute! What do you mean, you're taking over my job? Gavin: Well, while you were on your baby vacation I was doing your job. Rachel: A vacation? My idea of a vacation does not involve something sucking on my nipples until they are raw. Gavin: Clearly you've never been to Sandles Paradise Island. Rachel: Alright! Don't get too comfortable there, because I'm back in two weeks! And I want everything back to the way it was. I can't say that I care too much for the way you've rearranged my office. Gavin: I can't say I care too much for that smell you've brought in with you. Rachel: Excuse me? Ross: Rach we have a code brown situation. Rachel: Can you please, please take care of it for me? Ross: Alright, but you have to do one sometime. Rachel: Let me just get this straight! So I go have a baby and they send some guy in to do my job? Gavin: Well, there was talk of shutting down Ralph Lauren all together. Rachel: That's right. You're very cheeky for a temp. Gavin: I'm not a temp. I was transferred here from another department. Rachel: Oh yeah, what department was that? The Jerk department? Gavin: Oh, they didn't tell me about your quick wit. Rachel: Did they mention that I'm rubber and you're glue? Mr. Zelner: (Enters) Gavin, Ralph loved your ideas. Rachel: Oh, hi Mr. Zelner. Mr. Zelner: Rachel, I see you've met Gavin. I must say, when you left us we weren't sure what we were gonna do. But then, Gavin to the rescue. Super Gavin! Rachel: That's great. So now, Super Gavin, when I come back where are you planning on flying off to? Gavin: Well, that's up to Mr. Zelner. I'm sure he will make the right decision. Rachel: (To herself) Oh, wow. Super ass-kissing power. Mr. Zelner: Incidentally, when are you coming back? Rachel: Today. Gavin: You said two weeks. Rachel: No, I said today! See, for a superhero, not so much with the listening. [Scene: DOOL set] Joey: Hey. Phoebe: Hey. So, what did he say? Joey: Well, he can be a little rough around the edges, so I'm gonna replace a word he used a lot, with the word "puppy." Okay, so he said: "If your puppy friend doesn't get her puppy act together, I'm gonna fre her mother-puppy ass." Phoebe: I'm sorry, I can't do this. I'm not an actor. Joey: That's right, you're not. You're a nurse. You're Nurse With Tray. Phoebe: Joey. Joey: No, no. Nurse With Tray doesn't know Joey, she doesn't have time for friends. She gets in that operating room and she carries that tray to the doctor, because if she doesn't, people die! Phoebe: Who dies? Joey: (Points to man on operating table) Man With Eye Patch! You get in there and you do your job. Phoebe: Yes, doctor. Joey: Okay. Director: Okay, let's try this one more time. Phoebe: Hang in there, Man With Eye Patch, your tray is coming! Director: And...Action! Phoebe: (Does the scene) Yes, I did it!!! I nailed it!!! Yay! What's next? Director: The rest of the scene. Phoebe: Okay, from the top, people! [Scene: Ralph Lauren] Rachel: Listen. Sudden change of plans. My maternity leave just ended. They told me that if I didn't come back today, they were gonna fre me. Ross: What? No, that's illegal. I'm gonna have the labor department down her so fast they won't even... Rachel: Alright, alright. Calm down Norma Rae. They didn't actually say that. I'm just afraid if I don't come back right now this guy's gonna try to squeeze me out. Ross: What about Emma? We don't have a nanny. Rachel: I know. You know, we're just gonna have to figure out a plan tonight. Can you please just take care of her for today? Ross: Absolutely. Just give me your breast and we'll be on our way. Rachel: Come on, I don't know what else to do. Ross: Fine, fine. (To Emma) We'll have fun, won't we? Yes, we will, yes we will. (Gives her a kiss, and the pink bow tapes itself to his head.) Rachel: Ross? Ross: Huh? Rachel: You're pretty. [Scene: Chandler and Monica's] Chandler: Whatever I decide to do, I'm gonna be starting a career from scratch. It's gonna be a while before I make a living at it. Maybe now is not the right time to be starting a family. Ross: So you have to tell Monica you don't want to have a baby right now? Chandler: Yeah. Ross: (Hugs Chandler) Good-bye. Monica: (Enters) Okay, it's baby time. Pants off Bing. (Sees Ross) Didn't see you there Geller. Chandler: Yeah, Ross is here so... Ross: Yeah, and I was really hoping that I could hang out. What do you feel like doing? Monica: We're gonna have sex. Ross: I don't feel like having sex. Maybe we can watch a movie or something. Monica: Let me put it this way. We're having sex whether you're here or not. Ross: Pants off Bing! [Scene: Ralph Lauren] Rachel: Alright. Now that I'm back, why don't you just fill me in on what you've been up to? Gavin: Well, I've changed your screensaver from that picture of Nsync. Rachel: Hey, they were popular when I left! Gavin: Also, I've just been working on this big presentation for tomorrow. Rachel: Well, I should be involved in that, so why don't you get me up to speed? Gavin: That's gonna take weeks. Why don't just let me take care of the presentation? Rachel: Oh, no no no no. I see what you're doing here, alright, listen, this is my job buddy. Okay, I've had it for five years, and I know how it works, so why don't you just catch me up! Gavin: Fine. Rachel: (Sits down in her chair) Oh god. You've totally messed with the back support of my chair. How do you fix this? Gavin: Hey, you've been here five years, you figure it out. Rachel: Fine, I will. (Pushes that button thing on the chair that makes it "collapse") Alright, fill me in! [Scene: Chandler and Monica's] Ross: Hey. Chandler: Hey. Ross: You have a blue tie that would go with this? Emma spit up on mine. Chandler: Oh, yeah. But you have to give it back if I get a job. Of course, by that time in the future ties will be obsolete and we'll all be wearing silver jump suits. Monica: (Enters from the bedroom) Hi, good morning lover. I gotta say after last night, I'm a little weak in the knees. Ross: Here's an idea. You walk into a room...take a quick scan! Monica: (To Ross) Sorry. (To Chandler) But I kind of have this feeling that we may have made a baby last night. Chandler: Oh god, I have to tell you something. You're not pregnant. Monica: What are you talking about? Chandler: That thing that I have to do to make a baby. I faked it. Monica: What!? You faked it? Ross: You know what? I don't need a tie. I mean, it's better, open collar. You know, it's more casual (He leaves.) [Scene: DOOL set] Phoebe: Joey, listen. I can't do this, it doesn't make any sense. Yesterday I was a nurse, and today I'm a waitress at a cafe? Joey: Oh, sometimes we use the same extras for different parts. It's okay. Phoebe: Well, it's not okay, because I gave a very memorable performance as the nurse. And now suddenly I'm the waitress? That's gonna confuse my fans. Joey: Maybe you are a nurse, but you moonlight as a waitress. Phoebe: Uhuh. Because I'm a single mother, supporting my two children. Joey: Nice. Phoebe: Wait a minute. Dr. Drake Ramoray and I work at the same hospital. Wouldn't I come over to say hi to him? Joey: No, no. See, you and Drake are having a fight. Phoebe: About what? Joey: He slept with you and then never called you. Phoebe: And I just wanted a new daddy for Davy and Becky. Director: Okay, okay, from the top. And...Action! Man: So, I'm surprised you agreed to have lunch with me. Joey/Drake: I'm surprised to, but yet here I am. (Phoebe walks by and slaps him.) Director: Cut, cut! What are you doing!? Phoebe: Yeah, well, I'm very angry at him, because he slept with me and never called me back. Extra: Me too! Another extra: Me too! Joey: Oh, calm down! She means on the show! We need some new extras around here! [Scene: Chandler and Monica's] Gavin: (Enters) Wow, you're here already. Rachel: Yes. Emma and I came in a little early to do research on the presentation. I actually made a few changes, but I think I'm caught up on everything. So ask me anything! Gavin: How do you fix the chair. Rachel: Except that! (Mr. Zelner enters) Oh, hello, Mr. Zelner. We're all ready for our presentation this afternoon. Mr. Zelner: Good, because it's in ten minutes. Rachel: What? I can't do that! I have the baby, and Ross is not gonna pick her up for another hour. Mr. Zelner: Well, then Gavin can give the presentation, okay, we have to do it now. Ralph needs to leave early today. He's going helicopter shopping. Rachel: Well, there you go. You win, you win. You get to do the presentation, you'll knock 'em dad, no one will ever remember that I worked here, and then Ralph will buy his helicopter, and Super Gavin will just fly right along side of him! Gavin: You can do the presentation. Rachel: No, I can't, I have a baby. Gavin: I'll watch her. Rachel: Why would you do that? Gavin: Because you've worked really hard, and it's your job, and you're a little crazy. Rachel: That's really nice. Gavin: I should tell you that crying women make me very uncomfortable. Rachel: Then you're not gonna like what's coming. (Starts crying) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Thank you, thank you. Gavin: I'm really fine, don't worry, I'm great with children. (To Emma) Gavin Mitchell. Pleased to meet you. [Scene: DOOL set] Joey: Please don't fre my friend. Just let me talk to her. Director: Okay, okay. But this is her last chance. Joey: Thank you, thank you. How about I do something for you? Tomorrow, I'll bring you a hat, cover up the bald? Joey: Hey, listen Pheebs. I was just talking to the director, and he was thinking, maybe this time you don't ht Drake, you just wait on the tables? Phoebe: I can't do that. I'm an actor. I have a process. Joey: You're a masseuse. You have a table with a hole in it. Phoebe: Wait a minute, I see what's happening here. You're thrat. Joey: What? Phoebe: Yeah, I'm so good in this scene that I'm stealing focus from you. Well, rise to the challenge Tribianni 'cause I just raised the bar. Come join me up here! Joey: (To the director) Yeah, you can fre her, but I would call security, she won't go easy. [Scene: Chandler and Monica's] Monica: You faked it? You couldn't have faked it! Chandler: Oh yes you can. You just make the faces and the noises. Monica: Guys can fake it? Unbelievable. The one thing that's ours! Besides, why would you fake it when we're trying to have a baby? Chandler: That's actually why. Look, I'm starting a whole new career now, and I'm not saying that I don't want to have a baby, I'm just saying maybe we could wait a little while. Monica: Like a month? Chandler: Or a year? Monica: Really, you want to wait a year? Chandler: It could be less than a year. I mean, you've heard my stuff. "Pants. Like shorts, but longer." (Pause) It'll probably be more than a year. Monica: I really wanna have a baby. Chandler: Yeah, me too. Look, I'll just get my old job back. Monica: No, I want you to have a job that you love. Not statistical analysis and data reconfiguration. Chandler: I quit and you learn what I do? Monica: It's just, I think, there's never gonna be a right time to have a baby. I mean, now you're unemployed and in a little while you'll find a new job that'll keep you really busy. There's always gonna be a reason not to do this, but I think once the baby comes, forget about all those reasons. Chandler: I guess. It's always gonna be scary when we have a baby. Monica: It's gonna be really scary. I mean, god. When we have a baby, there's gonna be so much that we're not able to control. I mean, the apartment's gonna be a mess, I won't have time to clean it. What if the baby gets into the ribbon drawer? Messes up all the ribbons?! What if there's no room for a ribbon drawer, because the baby's stuff takes up all the space!? Where will all the ribbons go!?! Chandler: Should we go make a baby right now before you change your mind? Monica: Yes, please! Chandler: Oh, and I promise, I will not fake it this time. Monica: I wish I could say the same. I'm a little shook up! Closing credits [Scene: DOOL set] Joey/Drake: I know you botched that operation on purpose. I can't prove it yet, but when I do, you'll be going to jail for m*rder. I don't care if you are my brother. Man: I'm not your brother. Phoebe/Waitress: What about my children Drake?! Huh!? (She starts running around on the set with a security guy chasing her) No!! No!! No! God! END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x11 - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work"}	foreverdreaming
Aired: 16/1/2003 Teleplay by: Brian Buckner and Sebastian Jones Directed by: Ben Weiss Transcribed by: Roni Raab [Scene: Coffee place, Joey is there, Chandler is entering] Chandler: Hey Joey: Hey. So where's Mon? Chandler: Oh, she's at home, putting up decorations for Rachel's birthday party tonight. Joey: And you're not helping? Chandler: I tried, but apparantly singing "I will survive" in a helium voice - not helping. (Ross and Rachel enter with Emma in Rachel's hands) Ross: Hey you guys! Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ... Rachel: Shhh don't say that loud, gn's gonna want to hug me. Ross: Uh, good news everyone, we finally found a nanny. This is Molly (points to Molly). Molly, Chandler, Joey. Joey and Chandler: Hi. Molly: Hi. (Emma starts to cry) Ross: Ooh, somebody's getting a little fussy. Joey: You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes. Rachel: Ok, you know what, I'm just gonna take her outside. Molly: No, you stay, I'll do it (takes Emma from Rachel). Rachel: OK, thank you. Molly: Nice to meet you guys (to Chandler and Joey). Joey: Yeah, you too. (Molly leaves) Rachel: Oh, wow, Molly is just great! Ross: Yeah. Chandler: Yes, Bravo on the hot nanny. Rachel: What? You really think she's hot? Chandler: Are you kidding? If I wasn't married she'd be rejecting me right now. Rachel: And Joey? Joey: How do you think she's doing? Rachel: Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross? Ross: Eh, I mean, I mena she's not unattractive but hot? I .... Rachel: Thank you! (goes to get coffee) Chandler: Now that Rachel's gone? Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands) OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Mike and Phoebe in Phoebe's place, Phoebe is doing a crossword puzzle] Phoebe: Hey Mike, what's the capital of Peru? Mike: Lima. Phoebe: No. It starts with a "v" and ends with an "x". Helpfully with a "to" in the middle. Mike: You know, kinda think of it, the capital of Peru IS "vtox". (opens the kitchen cabinet) Oh god! Oh! Phoebe: What? Mike: OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard. Phoebe: (relived) Oh, whew, no, that's Bob. Mike: What, is he your pet rat? Phoebe: Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies. Mike: You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus. Phoebe: What are those? Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it! Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob. Mike: Thank you. Phoebe: So weird, you think he's so gross and you're willing to eat his crackers. (Mike throws out everything in his mouth) [Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel comes in and Gavin is there] Rachel: Hello. Gavin: Hello Rachel: Gavin, I just wanted to say thank you again for watching Emma yesterday during the presentation. I really owe you an appology. Gavin: For what? Rachel: Well, when we first met, you know, I thought you were pompous and arrogant and obnoxious ... Gavin: Is this your first appology? Rachel: No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything. And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you. (Heather walks in) Heather: Good morning! Rachel: Hello. (to Gavin) But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... (sees Gavin staring at Heather) I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished. Gavin: What? Rachel: I was giving you an appology and you were totally checking her out! Gavin: I wasn't checking her out. I'm in fashion, I was looking at her skirt. Or was it pants? I didn't really see what happened below the ass area. Rachel: Oh wow, you are really, you're really a creep. Gavin: Why do you even care if I was looking at her? Are you jealous? Rachel: Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". (Gavin starts looking) Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate. Gavin: I thought it was ok when you slept with your old assistant Tag. Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap meaningful relationship. Gavin: Huh. What's Tag's last name? Rachel: It was ... (can't remember) oh my god. He didn't have a last name. It was just "Tag". You know, like Cher, or, you know, Moses. Gavin: But it was a deap meaningful relationship. Rachel: Oh, you know what - my first impression of you was absolutely right. You are arrogant, you are pompous ... Morgan! Morgan! Tag's last name was Morgan! Huh! Gavin: It was Jones. Rachel: Yeah well what are you, his boyfriend? [Scene: Coffee place, Molly holding Emma and talking to Joey] Joey: Man, I wish I had a nanny like you. Molly: You mean, when you were a baby. Joey: Sure. (Chandler is staring at Molly) Monica: Would you stop staring at her? Chandler: I wasn't staring. I was leering. Monica: What's the big deal with her? Maybe she's attractive in an obvious kind of way. Ross: Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I earned it. Chandler: Looks like Joey is doing allright with her. Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once. Molly: (to Ross) I'm gonna take her back to the appartment. Ross: Ok, I'll be home right after work. Ok, by Emma-Wemma-Demma, I love you - wovyou dovyou ... Molly: Bye Monica: They've elected me to talk to you about the baby talk - it's not so good. Molly: I think it's sweet. (goes to leave) Ross, Joey and Chandler: Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma. Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her. Joey: Why not? Rachel: Because it took us months to find a good nanny and I wouldn't want anything to, you know, drive her away. Joey: So, what, you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable? (thinks about it) Yeah, sounds about right. Ross: Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits. Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more! Ross: What are you, a child? Joey: Yes! Ross: Joey, come on now, for me! Please, just-just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else. Joey: Fine. (looks around, then focuses on Monica) Monica: (to Chandler) Take me home! (they quickly leave) [Scene: Phoebe's place, Phoebe and Mike are there] Phoebe: Hey Mikey Mike: Hey P Phoebe: What are you doing? Mike: Setting rat traps. Phoebe: To kll Bob?? Mike: No, no, to test his neck strength. Phoebe: No, Mike, I don't want to kll him! I thought we were just gonna capture him and, and you know, set him free in the country side where he can maybe meet a friendly possom and a wisecracking owl. Mike: Ok, ok, I'll throw away the traps. Phoebe: I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? (starts looking) Bob! Robert! (looks at cabinet under sink) Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh - Oh my god! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom! Mike: Better think of a new name for him. Phoebe: I don't know, I kinda like Bob for a girl. Mike: I don't know, I mean I'm not sure (they hear cracking voice from somewhere else in the kitchen, probably a rat caught in a trap) ... Phoebe: Oh my god, we klled Bob! Mike: Maybe it wasn't Bob, maybe it was a mouse. Phoebe: Suzie? (Runs over there to check) [Scene: Mon and Chan's, Ross enters] Ross: Whazzup?? Chandler: Seriously dude, 3 years ago. Ross: Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly? Chandler: You don't trust him? Ross: Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny". Chandler: Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now. Ross: You do appear right on the cusp of something. Come on man, I'm sure he'll lose interest in a week or two, but for now can you please just do this for me? Chandler: Allright, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it. Ross: Well we gotta do something, ok? Nannies like her don't grow on trees. (pause) Chandler: Picturing that tree? Ross: I am, yes. [Scene: Hallway, Joey get out of his appartment and Chandler jumps out of his] Chandler: Where you going, Joe? (Joey falls on floor and gets up) Joey: For a walk. Chandler: Oh. You mind if I join you? Joey: Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts. Chandler: Your thoughts? Plural? Joey: Allright, fine, I only have one thought! It's about the hot nanny, I gotta see her! Chandler: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Joe. Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are klling me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the sab boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there? Chandler: Yes, as a matter of fact he did, so I can't let you go. Joey: Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles. Hot nanny and me against the world. This is the kind of stuff great novels are made of. Chandler: Great novels? Joey: Fine ... mediocre prn [Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel and Gavin there, phone rings, Gavin picks it up] Gavin: Gavin Mitchelle's office. Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin) Gavin: Hey Mom! No, that's just my secretary. (Rachel is upset) Rachel: Um, excuse me Gavin, I have a question I need to ask you. Gavin: Mom, I'll call you later. Yeah. (hangs up) (to Rachel) Yes? Rachel: If you like looking at butts so much why don't you just go look at a mirror? Gavin: Thank god you finally said that, I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago. (Rachel throws away that paper) Man, I really bug you, don't I? Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now. (door knock, Monica enters) Monica: Hey Rach! Rachel: Hi! Monica: Ready for your birthday lunch? Rachel: Yeah I am, I am! Oh, but first of all, Monica, I would like to introduce you to my very talented colleage and more importantly my wonderful friend Gavin Mitchelle. Gavin: Pleased to meet you. Monica: Pleased to meet you. So you're coming to Rachel's party tonight? Rachel: Oh no no no no no, Gavin can't, he already has plans, most likely with his mother. Gavin: Well I don't mind, I'll cancel. I would never miss my secretary's birthday. (leaves) Rachel: Why did you invite him?? I can't stand that guy! Monica: You were just being so nice to him! Rachel: I was faking it! Can't you tell when I'm being fake? (A man walks by) Rachel: Hey, Mr Philips, nice suit! Monica: Right there! That was so fake! Rachel: Shh! [Scene: Rachel's birthday party] Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see. Monica: Oh, you're welcome for the party. I'm glad you're having a good time. Rachel: God, I hope he doesn't show up. Of course he's not gonna show up, the guy hates me. Monica: Does he? Rachel: What? Monica: Maybe he's bothering you so much because he likes you. It's like in first grade when Skippy Langwild always pushed me on the playground because he secretly had a crush on me? Rachel: Oh, Monica, you think Skippy liked you? Honey, all those buys had a bet to see if he can knock you over. Molly: (with Emma in a basinet) She's out, I'm gonna take her home. Rachel: Oh, ok, thank you. (Molly leaves) (to Monica) Do you see what all the guys see in her? Monica: Wouldn't kick her out of bed. No more Vodka for me! (put her glass down) (Joey comes over) Joey: Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now? Rachel: Yeah, sure! Joey: Oh ... (Starts to sing) Happy birth ... (sees Molly leaving) oh, see you later (runs after Molly) Monica: Hey Rach, somebody got you shoes! Rachel: Oh, give me! (opens the box happily, then gets freaked and throws away the box, she and Mon jump up the sofa) Phoebe: Be careful, be careful! These are my rat babies! Mike: Yeah. We have rat babies now. Rachel: Ahhhh , you brought rats to my birthday party? Monica: So this is what a stroke feels like. Phoebe: I had to bring them! We klled their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother. Rachel: Are you comparing my daughter to a rat? Phoebe: No! Seven rats! I think we should take them home, we need feed them. Rachel: whhh wait, you're gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats? Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave) (Ross gets out of the bathroom, sees Chandler) Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them. Chandler: (In a helium voice, holding a balloon) I'm sorry, I got a little occupied. Ross: We have to stop them before something happens! Chandler: (still helium voice) Right behind you, big guy! (they both head for the door) [Scene: Ross's place, Molly and Joey are talking on the couch] Joey: So you see, Molly, what people don't understand is that acting is a discipline. It takes a lot of hard work. Molly: So where did you study? Joey: Oh, I didn't go to college. Molly: No, where did you study acting? Joey: Molly ... people don't study acting ... (Ross and Chandler walk in, Joey looks disappointed) Ross: Molly, ah, do you mind giving us just a minute? Molly: Sure, I'll go check on Emma. Ross: Thanx. (Molly gets up and walks away) Joey: (upset) Will the sab boy never get the princess?? Ross: What do you think you're gonna do, have sex with her right here on my couch? Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again. (pause) Ross and Chandler: Come on! Joe! Joey: Ok (admits) (knock on door, Ross opens, it's a woman) Woman: Hi, is Molly here? Ross: Yeah, come on in. Molly? Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow. Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem. Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the sab boy and the lesbian! [Scene: Phoebe's place, Phoebe and Mike enter] Phoebe: Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed. Mike: Hey, when did we become one of those couples whose lives revolve around their rats? Phoebe: Well, you know what, they're our responsibility now. Mike: Ok, fine, these rats are our responsibility. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds of them? Phoebe: Mate? They're all brothers and sisters. Mike: Yeah - not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animals. Phoebe: No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do? Mike: Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but, we could not let the box of rats ruin our lives. Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites. Mike: It's gonna be ok. Phoebe: You must think I'm crazy. Mike: No, I think you're sweet. Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I? [Scene: Rachel's party, Rachel is on the balcony, Monica goes there also] Monica: Hey! Rachel: Hi. Thanks for the party, honey. Should I help you clean up? Monica: No way! You had your party, now I have mine! Is everything alright? Rachel: Yeah, I just get a little bummed when my birthday's over. Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows). Rachel: Mmm hmm. Gavin: Yeah, hey. (comes in to the balcony) Monica: Oh, we weren't talking about you. No, no way to recover. Rachel: No. (Monica goes back inside) Gavin: Nice party. Rachel: Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn't showed up at (looks at his watch) ... 9:30?? God! Oh, this party was lame ... Monica: (from inside) Again, you're welcome. Gavin: Look, I'll just give you this and go. Rachel: Oh, you bought me a present! Why? Gavin: Well, let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents, and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person. Ok, I ... got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you earlier. Rachel: Aww. Well, ok, well that's very nice. And you wrote a card (opens the card). "From Gavin" Gavin: I really mean it. Rachel: (opens the present, it's a green scarf) Awww, awww, it's beautiful. Gavin: You don't mind? (puts it around her neck) Well, what do you know, it fits! Rachel: See, Gavin, you're capable of being a nice guy. Why did you give me such a hard time? Gavin: I'm not sure. Rachel: Well Monica seems to think it's because you have feelings for me. Gavin: I do have feelings for you. Rachel: You do? Gavin: Yes, I feel that you are a little annoying. Rachel: See? Why, Gavin, why? Right when I'm about to change my opinion of you, you go and you ... (he kisses her) and you do that ... (they kiss again) [cut to Ross from his appartment, holding baby toys and is shocked to see them kissing] ENDING CREDITS Chandler: (sings in a helium voice) First I was afraid, I was petrified (very happy) Phoebe: (walks in) Hey Chandler: (normal voice) Hi Phoebe: Listen, I think I've left something here. Chandler: Oh, well someone left this (shows a green jacket). This is yours? Phoebe: (likes the jacket) No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies. Chandler: Oh, uh, well, I haven't seem it but if I do I'll let you know. Monica: Ohmygod! Rat baby! Rat baby! Rat baby! (screams from another room) Phoebe: (realizes) Ooh, maybe that's him! End	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x12 - The One With Phoebe's Rats"}	foreverdreaming
Aired: 30/01/2003 Written by: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer Directed by: Gary Halvorson Transcribed by: PHDB ([email protected]) and Sebastiano ([email protected]) [Scene: Chandler and Monica's] Chandler: Hey! Ross: Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we...can we talk about what happened here last night? Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who ever did something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!! Ross: OK you...you really don't know what I am talking about? Chandler: No! Ross: OK! Last night after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony. Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said "No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will" Ross: Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony, even though there were NO LIGHTS ! Chandler: So are you gonna...talk to her? Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine! Chandler: You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone yells it and spits! Ross: No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care but...at least she could have told me. You know I...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if she wants to go out there kissing guys she barely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah! Chandler: No no no. Good. So you're moving on? Do you have any idea where you're moving? Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me. And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand. Chandler: Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life! Ross: Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmental Potluck dinner. Chandler: Why did I get married?! [Opening Credits] [Scene: Central Perk] Joey: Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow right and the photographer said she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy? Phoebe: Well it depends. Joey: On...? Phoebe: On how far along he's in the sex change process! Monica: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to, your eyebrows are... Joey: Ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out! Phoebe: Your knuckles are kinda hairy too... Joey: Oh man! I have to get those done too?! Phoebe: Wow! Talking about high maintenance Joey: Hey hey! You dye your hair! Phoebe: I'm a woman! Joey: Arghhh! Double standards! Phoebe: Oh before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight? Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing. Phoebe: But everybody sings. It's so much fun! Last time this adorable old man got out there, forgot all of the words, flipped out and everyone booed him off the stage. So funny. Monica: It's just, I'm not good at singing. Phoebe: Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? You're afraid I'm a better singer? You're afraid I'm gonna bat you at singing? Monica: No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up! Phoebe: OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing. Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others? Phoebe: While drinking... Monica: I'm there! Rachel: Hi guys! Listen I really need your help. I think I did something really stupid. Phoebe: Well yes Rachel but you got something so beautiful out there Rachel: No not that. I kissed Gavin last night. Phoebe: Oh my god. Monica: You kissed him? Rachel: Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and... Monica: Wait wait wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I missed that? Phoebe: It was the end of the party, you were probably ironing wrapping paper. Monica: Oh yeah...So how did you end up kissing? Rachel: You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf... Monica: I thought you hated him? Rachel: You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf! Monica: So are you thinking of starting up something with this guy? Rachel: I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don't know what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes. Monica: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross Rachel: Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all... Phoebe: Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four days, kiss a co-worker, call in sick, they are lucky to have you!! [Scene: Beauty salon] Salon girl: Hi Joey: Hey. I'm here for my eyebrow appointment. Salon girl: Name? Joey: Chandler Bing. Salon girl: Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you. Joey: OK Thanks. (Joey touches the hot wax). I touched the stuff Sonia: I'll take care of it Joey: Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here? Sonia: Oh absolutely. Joey: Oh good... Sonia: Are you looking to meet somebody? Joey: All right let's just do this. Sonia: We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit... Joey: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right! Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK (He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow! [Scene: Central Perk] Chandler: Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going? Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants. Chandler: Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times, two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself.... Ross: That's funny...Do you think you'll ever work again? Chandler: What are doing? You know I can only dish it out! Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me Chandler: Maybe she didn't move on, you know...maybe that kiss was just an impulsive one-time birthday thing Ross: No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar. Chandler: Did she go out with him? Ross: No. When he called, I...I threw the message away. Chandler: Ah! The high road... Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there! Hey come with me! Chandler: Are you trying to get everybody divorced? Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break the ice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, so they'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one... Chandler: I thought I had to make the jokes! Ross: Don't you have to be at work? Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!! Ross: Hum...So...hum...Oh hey I noticed you were reading the paper...another flood in Europe? Here’s a question: "Would you... would you rather drown or be burnt alive?" Blonde girl: Sorry...we were just leaving Chandler: We still got it! [Scene: Ross'] Rachel: Who is it? Gavin: Gavin! I brought you some soup. Rachel: Why? Gavin: I heard you were sick... Rachel: Oh! Right! Yeah! Hold on, I'll be just clean up in here a little bit! Hello Gavin Gavin: I missed you at work today. How are you feeling? Rachel: I a not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick Gavin: Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I thought you called in sick to avoid me. Rachel: Oh no no no Gavin: So I had fun last night Rachel: So did I Gavin: Exactly how contagious is this thing you have? I mean is it a cold for standing on the balcony or did a monkey bite you? Rachel: It's just a cold Gavin: Do you have fever? Let me see. Hum... Rachel: What? What's the matter? Gavin: What's Ross doing to you on that picture? Rachel: Oh he's dusting me with a fossil brush. He thought it would be funny. Gavin: Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything Rachel: Oh you're not. You're not gonna get in the middle of anything, don't worry about Ross really, really. (She hears the noise of the key in the lock) Oh! Hide! That's Ross! Hide! Hide! Gavin: Yeah! But you said not to worry about... Rachel: I lied! And I'm not sick! Just stay behind the curtain! Molly: Hi! Rachel: Oh! Molly! You're not Ross. Molly: No I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember? Rachel: Right, right, yes! Molly: Don't panic! Rachel: What? Molly: There is a man behind your curtain. I have a mace in my purse. Rachel: No! That's OK! That's OK! That's OK! No no no no! This is my business associate Gavin. He's just being silly. Gavin come out from behind that curtain! Gavin: Hi! Gavin! Please to meet you. It was my idea to stand there. Molly: Hello! I just go and get Emma. Rachel: OK. Gavin: So hum...Why did I have to hide? Rachel: I thought it was Ross. Gavin: So what if it was? I thought there was nothing going on between you two... Rachel: There isn't. There is totally isn't. Gavin: You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be a rodeo clown. Rachel: All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not in any relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live together and plus there is just so much history...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the place. Gavin: It's OK. I know it's probably not my place but can I give you a piece of advice? Rachel: Yes Gavin: I think you should talk to Ross about all this. Rachel: People keep saying that. Oh I'm sorry Gavin Gavin: Don't be. It's just bad timing. Rachel: So seriously...rodeo clown? Gavin: One of the best, ma'am, one of the best... [Scene: Mike's piano bar] Phoebe: "No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world...!" Thank you! (Mike kisses Phoebe) Mike: Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kenneth singing "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge! Phoebe: Hi hi...Oh you have got to sing. Monica: No I told you I can't. Phoebe: But you would have so much fun and you have a really nice voice. Monica: What have you heard me sing? Phoebe: All the time when you're cooking. Monica: What? Phoebe: Yeah you're always singing "Yummy yummy yummy, I've got love in my tummy" Monica: Yeah I do rock that one. Phoebe: OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there? Monica: Just a little but...it's just so scary! I don't even know what I would sing... Mike: Well I've got a book around... Monica: "Delta Dawn" [Scene: Central Perk] Ross: Hi! I could help not notice, but that's an unusual necklace Woman: You already ht on me an hour ago Ross: Right, so that's a firm "no". I cannot believe this, I just keep striking out. Chandler: I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be k*lled Ross: This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the one she wants and I'm gonna die alone. Chandler: By drowning or...?! Michelle: Why would he break up with me? Her friend: I don't know sweetie. Michelle: All I ever wanted was just love him and have him love me back. I mean, am I so unlovable? Chandler: Well... Ross: I know! (he stands) [Scene: Piano bar] Mike: All right, that was Kenneth with his much too literal rendition of "I touch myself". Coming up next we've got Monica singing "Delta Dawn". Monica: Wait wait! I can't sing in front of all these people. Phoebe: Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyone anyway. Monica: Hi! I'm Monica and I'm gonna be singing "Delta Dawn" "Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? ..." Phoebe: Can you totally see through her shirt ? Mike: Like an X-Ray. Bad day not to wear a bra. Monica: "To take you to his mansion in the sky-y?" [Scene: Monica and Chandler's] Joey: Hey, I need your help. Chandler: Wow, it seems serious. What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd? Joey: Look, I'll get new headshot taken, all right, so I want to get my eyebrows shaped Chandler: I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please! Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do one eyebrow and now... they don’t match! Chandler: It’s like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama! Joey: All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one so I don’t look stupid for my pictures. Chandler: Ok. First of all, this is green! Joey: What the hell am I supposed to do! Chandler: All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you. Joey: What, what. Chandler: Ok, you know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage, well I earned mine by plucking the eyebrows of my father and his “business” partners. Joey: Oh my God! Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess you don’t need my help Victor Victoria! Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don’t know if I can take anymore plucking. It hurts so bad! Chandler: Oh, not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe Vera and my gentle self-loathing touch. [Scene: Piano Bar] Monica: "Take me to the mansion in the sky-y". I am sorry, the song is over. Did you see me out there? Phoebe: Every little bit of you! Monica: I can’t believe I did this. I can’t believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear that one shouting “look at those tips”! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips? Mike: Sure. Phoebe: Mon', not that you didn’t sound good, but... Monica: Good? Didn’t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That’s is the best gift ever. Mike: Also a good gift? Underwear. [Scene: Ross'] Michelle: Thank you so much for letting me do this. Public bathrooms freak me out, I can't even pee, let alone do anything else. Ross: But, what’s great is that you don’t mind talking about it. Michelle: It’s so amazing I met you the same day that Eric broke up with me, because it’s like you lose a boyfriend, you get a boyfriend. Ross: Uh-ah! Michelle: No don’t worry, this is not some rebound thing. I am totally over Eric. Ross: (pfew). Good choice Ross. Rachel: Oh, hey! Hi, there you are, I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Ross: Oh, yeah, hello, well, now, here I am. Rachel: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o’ clock. So I was hoping you and I could have a chance to kind of talk… somebody here? Ross: Oh, yeah, yeah that’s Michelle. Rachel: Who? Ross: Oh, just this woman I’ve been seeing. Rachel: You’ve being seeing someone? Ross: Yeah, didn’t I mention that? Yeah, I mean, we haven’t being going out for too long, but rather there is this amazing connection between us. I-I mean, in fact just before you came in she called me her boyfriend. I thought it was a little too soon, but it was also, you know, it was kinda nice. Michelle: What are you taking amoxicillin for? Ross: How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that’s my roommate, Rachel. Rachel: Hi, and I am also Emma’s mother. Michelle: Ah, who is Emma? Ross: I told you about my daughter. Michelle: This is your daughter? I can be your new mummy! [Scene: Monica and Chandler's] Chandler: And done! Joey: Oh my God! I didn’t feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles around that sadistic bitch at the saloon Chandler: Thanks. You wanna see what it looks like? Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, they totally match! They look great! They look great! How you doing! Chandler: Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was uncovering a birthmark right about there, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate. Joey: Thank you so much. Chandler: No problem. Joey: Listen that’s a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should add some manly make up for it. Chandler: Yeah. Joey: Comb my eyelashes. [Scene: Piano Bar] Monica: Ok, for my next song I think I’ll sing something a little more upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the Pointer Sisters “I am so excited”. And make it bouncy! Phoebe: Oh you’ll probably take care of that on your hands. Chandler: I am sorry I am late. You’ll understand when you’ll see Joey. Monica: Honey, you’re just in time, I’m about to sing another song! Chandler: Really? In front of all this people? Monica: And they love me! Chandler: Oh my God! Phoebe: Yes, she gives the people what they want. Monica: All right, watch! Monica: "Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen, tonight we'll put all other things aside. Give in this time and show me some affection..." Chandler: Are those my wife’s nipples? Phoebe: Oh? Isn’t that funny? I didn't see that before, I wouldn't have let her go up again. Chandler: I gotta stop this. Monica: Oh, who cares, they still love me! "I am so excited..." Chandler: You, touching yourself, out! [Scene: Ross’] Rachel: Wow. She does that a lot! Michelle: Ross, you didn’t tell me you were a doctor! Rachel: What, what, wait a minute! You haven’t even told her you were a doctor, yet? How long have you known her, like an hour? Michelle: Actually about an hour and a half. Ross: I told you it wasn’t long, but there is an amazing connection between us. Michelle: You feel that too? Oh, I thought that was just me! Ross: Are you kidding? Michelle: Hey, do you want to go away this weekend? Ross: We’ll see. Rachel: Ok, Ross, what’s going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now? Ross: I don’t know, are we just kissing guys on balconies? Rachel: How do you know about that? Ross: Through the magic of sight! I was here, putting our child to sleep... Michelle: Emma. Ross: When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week? Rachel: Oh, that’s what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me? Michelle: No, actually, see I had to pee, ‘cause I can’t use public bathrooms because the doodie parasites. Ross: Ok, Michelle, it’s time to go. Michelle: Well, call me! Ross: Ok. Michelle: No, wait, you don’t have my phone number! Ross: You know, if it’s meant to be, I’ll guess it. Bye, bye. Rachel: Score. Ross: Oh, I am sorry, did you not like her, because I was hoping that we could come to one of your kissing parties on the balcony. Rachel: Oh God, I can’t believe you’re making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time! Ross: Oh, really! Rachel: Yeah. Ross: Oh, really! Rachel: Oh yeah. Ross: What about the guy from the bar? Rachel: What? Who? Ross: The guy you gave your number to. Rachel: Whoa, how do you know about that? Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don’t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing, ok? You’ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn’t even have the courtesy to tell me. Rachel: Why didn’t I get that message? Ross: What? Rachel: From the guy in the bar, why didn’t I get that message? Ross: Because I folded it up and put in my pants pocket. Do you...do you not look there? Rachel: Ross? Ross: I never gave it to you. Rachel: Why? Ross: I don’t know. Rachel: Oh God. You know what? Who you think you are? Who are you to decide what messages I should or should not get? Ross: Who am I? Rachel: Yes. Ross: I am the guy who’s taking care of our baby while you’re out at bars meeting guys! Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with you About us! But I can’t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment! Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That’s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the one Who moved on and didn’t tell anyone! Rachel: Oh, Ross, this is just so messed up! What’s wrong with us? You know when people hear about our situation they Always ask, “what, you live together but you’re not a couple? And you have a baby, isn’t that weird?» And I say “No. You know what, it’s not, because it works for us!» But you know this doesn’t work. In fact this is the opposite of working! Ross: Uh, clearly. Rachel: And you know, we said that we would, we would live together as long as this makes sense. An maybe this, you know, Just doesn’t make sense anymore. Ross: Yeah, maybe not. So what you wanna do? [Scene: Joey's] Joey: Hey! Rachel: Hi. Can Emma and I live here for a while? Joey: Ha, oh, of course. Rachel: Thank you. Joey: Your eyebrows look weird. [Ending Credits] Chandler: “Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine, never understood a single word he said, but I helped him drink his wine.” So you just touch yourself for anything? END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x13 - The One Where Monica Sings"}	foreverdreaming
Written by Sherry Bilsing-Graham & Ellen Plummer Transcribed by Marita Bakken [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is in the kitchen as Joey enters from his bedroom.] Joey: Morning, roomie! Rachel: Hey! You remembered to put clothes on this morning. Joey: Fifth day's a charm. Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma. Joey: Hey, it's great having you back. You know, stay as long as you want, and when does she stop crying all night? (Ross enters.) Ross: Hey, you're not naked! So hey, Rach, when will we expect to see you tonight? Rachel: Well, I'll probably be back to pick her up around six, but she's in the bedroom all ready to go. But she did actually fall back to sleep, so... Joey: She's probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night. Rachel: Bye! (She leaves.) Ross: Bye! Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you. Joey: No, hey, it's been great. Ross: Yeah? Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump... Ross: Yeah, that'll do it. Joey: Wow! So, how are you? Ross: I'm, I'm okay. Joey: Really? Ross: Sure, I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out? Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce. Joey: Well, actually it... Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people. Joey: Wow, really? Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me... Joey: Sure, I know lots of girls. Ross: Yeah? Any names come to mind? Joey: Ooh, names? Opening credits. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.] Phoebe: Hey. Joey: Hey. I was just gonna get something to eat. You want something? Phoebe: What you got? Joey (checks the refrigerator): Okay, let's see, we got strained peas, strained carrots... Ooh! Strained plums. We haven't tried that yet. Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food. Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody. Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too. Joey: Why are they doing this? Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy. Joey: You know what's crazy? These jars. What is it, like two bites in here? Phoebe: I just wish they'd realise they should be together. Joey: I know, I know. And when they moved back in together, I figured y'know, that's where things were headed. Phoebe: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children. Joey: Yes, and they should name one of their kids Joey. I may not have kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name. Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other. Joey: Yeah, because it is slim pickings. I had this date last night: Yuck! But we should probably keep it down; she's still in the bedroom. Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people? Joey: I know; that just pushes them further and further apart. Phoebe: Yeah. (bat) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together. Joey: Ooh, that's a great plan! Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.) (They both start laughing really loudly.) Joey: Shhh! Not so loud, we don't wanna wake up, uh... (He looks at his bedroom door, but he can't remember the name of the girl.) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.] Rachel: Hey! Monica: Hey! Rachel: You guys aren't doing anything tonight, are you? Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries. Rachel: I was just asking 'cause I need someone to watch Emma tonight. Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to? Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date. Monica: Oh my god. Chandler: Wow. Rachel: Why? What's the big deal? Monica: Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are... Rachel: What, slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set. Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood! Monica: You want a job? Turn off "Oprah," and send out a resume! Rachel: So I'll bring her by around seven? Is that okay? Monica: Oh, it's perfect. Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody mrder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun! Chandler (reading the newspaper): Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name. [Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.] Phoebe: Ooh, Joey. Joey: Hey. Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight. Joey: All right! Who is he? Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me. Joey (gives a thumbs up sign): Okay, okay. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross. Phoebe: Oh, yeah. (They sit down on the couch.) Joey: She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher! Phoebe: A teacher? Joey: Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies... And oh, oh, she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles? Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman! Joey: Oh my god, you're right! Phoebe: Yeah. Joey: She even reads for pleasure! Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that? Joey: What? I'm not allowed to know smart women? Phoebe: Joey. Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee. Phoebe: So now what do we do? Joey: Well, okay, I'll - I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else. Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up! Joey: Ooh...I hear that's bad. Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together. Joey: Ah, yes, The Plan! (Laughs loudly again, but he sounds more like Santa Claus.) Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... (Laughs the real "plan-laugh.") (They both start laughing again.) Joey: Yeah, you know, it's not that fun. Phoebe: No, I think we klled it. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma is there in her playpen, while Chandler is behind the couch.] Chandler: Emma? Emma? Look at me! Well, I think I'll go downstairs for a while. (He does the ancient trick of going downstairs while behind the couch. As soon as he's out of sight, Emma starts crying.) Chandler: No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! It's okay, it's okay. I didn't go. Don't cry, it's just a bit! I'm your uncle Chandler; funny is all I have! (Monica enters from their bedroom with a calendar.) Monica: Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours. Chandler: I don't do that. (Monica looks at him.) Chandler: I'll try to stop. Wait, did you say until the sixth? Monica: Yeah. Chandler: Today is the sixth. Monica: No, it's not. (Points at the calendar.) Chandler: Yes, it's also 2003. Monica: Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant. Chandler: It's okay. Go take the test and see if we're okay. Monica: Okay. (She runs to the bathroom, while Chandler starts acting like a chicken in front of Emma. Emma is silent, however.) Chandler: Tough crib. Monica: Hey, where are all my ovulation-sticks? There's only one here. Chandler: I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times. Monica: Chandler! Chandler: I am not working. There's not much to do around here! [Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.] Ross: Excuse me, is there a woman waiting at the bar? Someone average height, dark hair, perhaps doing a puzzle? Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy. Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me. Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine? Ross: Nah, I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I go home alone. Waiter: Got stood up, huh? Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date. Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left? Ross: No! (The waiter leaves.) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica emerges from the bathroom.] Monica: We're okay. I'm still ovulating. Chandler: Oh, good, because as of four o'clock this afternoon, I am not. Monica: So, let's do this. Chandler: I - I don't think I can. Monica: Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute. Chandler: Because of Emma. Monica: Oh my god, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here. Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone. Chandler: Sorry. Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age? Chandler: Well, she's aware when we leave the room. She may notice if we start... canoodling in it. Monica: Canoodling? Chandler: Well, I can't say "hump" or "screw" in front of the B-A-B-Y. Monica: I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so... Chandler: Horrifying? Scarring? Something people go to jail for? Monica: I guess you're right. Chandler: You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window. Monica: But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer? [Scene: Another restaurant. Rachel is studying the menu together with her date, Steve. Steve is the stoned restaurateur from 115 TOW the Stoned Guy.] Rachel: Wow, everything looks so good! I think I'm gonna have the chicken. Steve (staring at Rachel): I - I just have to say this; you're really beautiful. Rachel: Oh, well, that's - that's very sweet. Thank you. Steve: I'm kind of funny looking. Rachel: What? Steve: Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it. Bet that guy over there's probably saying, "ooh, why she out with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not! Rachel (feeling awkward): So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken. Steve: I'm not funny either. So, if you were thinking, "well, he's not that good-looking, but maybe we'll have some laughs"... That ain't gonna happen. Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive. Steve: I lost it. To drugs. (Steve makes a face as if his mouth is too dry.) Steve: I silk-screen t-shirts now. Rachel: Really? What's that like? Steve: It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money. That's right. I have no money, I'm not funny, I live in a studio apartment with two other guys, and I'm pretty sure I'm infertile. Rachel (awkward chuckle): Now, come on, come on, Steve. There must be something that you like about yourself. Steve: I do like my hair. Rachel: Really? [Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.] Phoebe: Hello? (Rachel is still at the restaurant, but Steve is gone.) Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kll you! Phoebe: Hey, Rach! Rachel: This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep? Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends. Rachel: I don't care! This guy is a nightmare! Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned. Rachel: He's not stoned. Phoebe: Did he go out for a cigarette? Rachel: Yeah, four times. Phoebe: My dear, sweet Rach. (Rachel hangs up in disgust.) Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone. Joey: Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together. Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (bat) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.] Monica: She's asleep. Chandler? (Chandler wakes up and looks a bit confused when he finds that he has a pacifier in his mouth.) Monica: What are you doing? Chandler: Emma was doing it! Monica: She's asleep. Chandler: Ooh, she's asleep, that means we can... Monica: Yes, but we have to be fast. Chandler (laughs): Okay, I'll try. And you can't make any noise. Monica (laughs): Okay, I'll try. (They run to the bedroom and close the door carefully just as Joey enters.) Joey: Hello? (Emma starts making noises, and Joey walks over to her playpen.) Joey: Emma? Hey! Hi! (He picks her up.) Joey: How are ya? How are ya? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why's the bedroom door closed? (He walks over, but just before he knocks on the door, he hears some moans and looks shocked.) Joey: You can't have S-E-X, when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E! (He walks out quickly with Emma in his arms.) [Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.] Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left. Ross: Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be. Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house. Ross: Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight. Waiter: Ooh... (Ross sees the waiter looking at him.) Ross: Just the crab cakes. (Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.) Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that. Waiter: Just get out of here, okay? Ross: What's - what's going on? Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home. Ross: What? You - you're making money off my misery? Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am. Ross: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.] Monica: Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast. Chandler: I think we may have really done it this time. Monica: Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test. Chandler: You may wanna get some more of those too. (They walk over to the playpen.) Chandler: Where's Emma? Monica: Oh my god, where's Emma? Where's Emma? Chandler: Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you! Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell. Chandler: Okay. (Runs out.) Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel. [Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Steve are walking home from their date. Steve is sobbing.] Steve (sobbing): I - I can't believe I’m crying in front of you. You must think I'm so pathetic. Rachel: No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry. Steve: Really? (He puts his hand on her shoulder.) Rachel: Don't touch my coat! (Her cell phone rings.) Rachel: Oh, sorry, it's my phone. Hello? Monica (on phone): Hey, Rach, how's it going? Rachel: Oh my god, this is the worst date ever! (Steve starts crying loudly.) Rachel (to Steve): Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? (To Monica.) What's up? Monica: Hey, did you stop by here? Rachel: No. Monica: Oh my god, then... (Joey and Chandler enter with Emma.) Monica: Oh, thank god! Emma, there you are! Rachel: What? What do you mean, "there you are"? Where was she? Monica: Oh, we were playing "peek-a-boo." She just – she loves it when I'm dramatic. (Monica hangs up, and Rachel looks at her phone.) Monica (to Joey): Why the hell did you take her? Joey: Because you two were having sex! Monica: No, we weren't! Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once? Chandler: All right, all right, we were. We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating. Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this. (Joey starts to leave.) Chandler: No, no, no. Monica: No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kll us! Joey: Hey, I gotta! Unless... Monica: Unless what? Joey: Unless you name your firstborn child Joey. Chandler: What? Why? Joey: Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name. Chandler: Your family name is Tribbiani. Joey: (b*at) (Laughs.) You almost had me. (He leaves.) [Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Steve and Rachel are still there.] Rachel: Well, uh... Steve: Look, I think I know the answer to this question, but... Would you like to make love to me? Rachel: Really, really not. Steve: Eh, it's just as well. Doesn't work anyway. Rachel: All right, well that's good to know. Good night, Steve. (She walks over to Central Perk and enters to find Ross sitting on the couch, eating crab cakes. She takes off her coat while groaning and shuddering.) Ross: Hey, what's wrong? Rachel: I just had a rough night. Ross: Oh. Crab cake? Rachel: Eww! Ross: Well, what happened? Rachel: Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but... Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date. Rachel: Yeah. Ross: I did, too. Rachel: Oh. Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up? Rachel: Oh, oh no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left? Ross: Why does everyone keep saying that? Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up. Ross: That bad? Rachel: Well, he makes t-shirts for a living, and he thought it would be appropriate to give me this. (She holds up a black t-shirt with "FBI - Female Body Inspector" on the front.) Ross: Female body inspector? What size is that? [Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.] Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey? Joey: Uh-huh. Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me? Joey: It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex. Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes. (Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.) Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working. (Joey does the "plan-laugh.") Phoebe: Don't, don't do the plan-laugh. [Cut to inside Central Perk.] Ross: The first date we've had in months, and they were both such disasters. Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show. Ross: Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid. [Cut to outside Central Perk.] Joey: We're geniuses! Yeah, look at them, look at them, they're really bonding. Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again. (Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.) Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run! Joey: Where? Phoebe: Mexico! (They run down the street with Ross and Rachel following right behind them.) End credits. [Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.] Joey: Can you believe they're still not here? Ross: I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances? Joey: I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now? Waiter: What? Joey: We've been stood up. (sniffles) And we want our free crab cakes. Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry. (He points at Steve who's sitting at another table. He's staring at his hands.) Steve: I have such fat hands! (He starts crying.)	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x14 - The One With the Blind Dates"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: unknown yet Transcribed by: Johannes Pohl [Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, Monica and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters] Chandler: (excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what… Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica: (shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment. Phoebe: What's your news? Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers) Monica: (hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe: (inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people… (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her) Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the same except… less sex with you. (Joey nods) Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe: (enthusiastic) That's great. Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating (At the same time, gn puts down a cup of coffee in front of Chandler) Chandler: (grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble! (gn sht a nasty look at him while leaving) Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross: Yes, I did, I did! (He turns to Joey, disappointed) I should have written it down! Opening Credits [Scene: Monica and Chandler's Aparment, Monica sits at the table] Joey: (entering) Hey! Monica: Hey! Joey: Where's Chandler? I wanna wish him good luck on his first day. (Monica smiles) ... and I smelled bacon. (taking some) Monica: He just left. Joey: (puzzled) Who did? (Monica looks bewildered) Rachel: (entering) Joey! You never gonna believe it: she called. Joey: (standing up, surprised) She did? Rachel: (enthusiastic) You got it! Joey: (still surprised) I did? Monica: What is she talking about? Joey: I don't know, but it sounds great. Rachel: Your agent called. You got that audition. Joey: With Lennart Haze? Rachel: Yes. Joey: Oh my god, that is great! That is * for a play on broadway… and in a real theatre, not that little one underneath the dally like last time. Monica: Is it a good play? Joey: Well, it must be, because I read and I didn't understand a singe word. Rachel: Yeah, and Lennart Haze is starring in it… Joey: Yeah, yeah, and directing. Monica: (sighs) He was so good in that movie of MacBeth. Rachel: (disbelieving) You saw that? Monica: No, but… I saw the previews. They played it right before Jackass. Rachel and Joey: (pointing at Monica, a look of recognition in their faces) Ah! Joey: Yeah, he's done some amazing works. Rachel: Oh, yeah. Oh, I loved him in those cell phone commercials. Joey: (almost laughing) I know. When the monkey hits him in the face with that giant rubber phone. (They all laugh) Monica: Hey! Maybe the monkey will be at the audition! Joey: (sitting down) Don't make me more nervous than I already am! [Scene: Chandler's new workplace, his fellow interns are already seated around a table] Chandler: (entering) Good morning, everybody. Intern: Can I get you a cup of coffee, Sir? Chandler: Oh, no, no, I'm an intern, just like you guys… except for the tie, the briefcase… and the fact that I can rent a car. Intern: Seriously, you're an intern? Chandler: Yeah, well, I'm kinda heading into a new career direction and, you know, you gotta start at the bottom. Intern: (shaking his head disbelievingly) Dude! Chandler: Right. Look, I know I'm a little bit older than you guys, but it's not like I'm Bob Hope (he sits down) (Everybody gives him an inquiring look) Chandler: The comedian? USO?! Intern: (correcting him) Uhm, it's USA, sir. (Chandler desperately covers his head in his hands) [Scene: Audition room, Joey is lead into the room by a receptionist in a fancy dress] Receptionist: This is Joey Tribbiani. Joey, these are the producers and, as you probably already know, this is Lennart Haze. (Lennart Haze turns around in his chair to face Joey) Joey: It is so amazing to meet you. (They are shaking hands) I'm such a big fan of your work. Lennart: Well, I've… I've been blessed with a… a lot of great roles. Joey: Tell me about it! "Unlimited nights and weekends!" Lennart: You making fun of me? Because I am not a sell-out. (He stands up and walks menacingly towards Joey) I didn't do that for the money, I believe in those phones. I almost lost a cousin because of bad wireless service. Joey: No, I-I-I wasn't making fun of you, honestly, I-I think you were great in those commercials. Lennart: Really? Joey: Yeah. Lennart: Well, I do bring a certain credibility to the role. Joey: (regaining confidence) Are you kiddin'? When they sh*t you out of that cannon… Lennart: Peeeeeooooooooch (He mimes flying out of the cannon) "Hang up that phone!" One take! Joey: Wow! Lennart: So, shall we read? Joey: Oh, yah, sure. Lennart: Top of act two. This is my entrance. You got it? (Joey nods whereupon Lennart acts as if he is entering a room) Lennart: "What the hell are you still doing here"? (Joey stares at him, fascinated by his performance) Joey: Err, "I think you know". Lennart: "Bastard"! Joey: "I am what you made me. You know what? I could go right now." Lennart: "Go, go!" Joey: "I can't. Oh, I want to, long pause, but I can't." Lennart: I'm sorry, sorry. You're not supposed to say "long pause" Joey: (understandingly) Oh, oh, I thought that was your character's name, you know, I thought you were like an Indian or something, you know with a… (He mimes wearing a feather on his head) Lennart: No. Thank you so much for coming in. We appreciate it, thank you. Joey: Ah, y-y-you're sure you don't want me to do it again? I could do it with an accent, you know, Southern (He speaks in what he believes is a Southern accent) "I could go right now, maaan!" Lennart: (stunned, muttering) My god in heaven. (The producers stand up) Producer #1: Joey, hang on for a second. Lennart, can we talk to you for a moment? (They stand aside, talking) Lennart: You, you gotta be kidding. See, h-he, he can't act. (Joey hears that and his disappointment is reflected in his facial expression). (Producer #1 whispers something) Lennart: Hey! I-I-I don't care if he's hot, you know. If you want to sleep with him, do it on your own time. (Joey smiles smugly at this) This is a play. No, listen: if you insist on this, I will call my agent so fast on a cell phone that has a connection that is so clear he's gonna think I'm next door. (Joey approaches them) Joey: (interrupting their conversation) Ah, hi, ah. Thank you so much for whispering for my benefit, but, ah, look, if you just tell me what I did wrong, I'd just love to work on it and come back and try it again for you. And, and also: (to Producer #1) 'How you doing?' (to Lennart again) You should, please, just gimme another chance. I really wanna get better, please. Lennart: Well, if you wanna come back at the end of the day today, here are my notes. Ready? Joey: Yeah. Lennart: Uhm, you're in your head. You-you're thinking way too much. Joey: I really doubt that. Lennart: (explaining to Joey, who nods fervently) No, no, no. It's that you're not connected with anything in your body. There's no urgency. The scene is a struggle, uhm, it's a race. Also, what you did was horizontal. Don't be afraid to explore the vertical. And don't learn the words. Let the words learn you. (Joey ponders on this for a while) Joey: (suggesting) Couldn't I just sleep with the producer? [Scene: Backstreet, Ross and Phoebe walking] Phoebe: Hey, do you wanna go to dinner tonight? Ross: Oh, I can't. I've got a date with that waitress, Katy, yeah, I know we've been only going out like twice, but I have a really good feeling about her. Phoebe: Oh, I hear divorce bells. (A mugger, his face hidden by a cap, approaches them from behind) Mugger: Alright. Just give me your wallets and there won't be a problem. Ross: (taken aback) What? Mugger: I have a gn (It looks like he has a gn under his coat) Ross: O-ok. Just relax, Phoene, just stay calm. (He searches his coat and freaks out). Oh my god, I can't find my wallet. (He finally finds the wallet and hands it to the mugger) Mugger: Alright, lady, now give me your purse! Phoebe: No. Ross: (still in a high-pitched voice) What do you mean "no"? I knew you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay. (A sign of recognition runs across Phoebe's face) Phoebe: Lowell, is that you? Lowell: Phoebe? (He lifts his cap) Oh my god! Phoebe: (simultaneously) Oh my god! (They hug and scream) Phoebe: (excited) I'm sorry, Ross, this is my old friend Lowell from the streets. Lowell, Ross. Lowell: Ross, nice to meet you. (He stretches his hand out to him) Ross: Yeah, a real pleasure. Phoebe: Ah, it's been so long, so long. (They hug again) I can't believe you're still doing this! Lowell: Ough, I know, but I quit smoking! Phoebe: Good for you! Lowell: So you look like you're doing really well! I guess you're mugging days are behind you? Phoebe: Ouh… (she nods) Ross: (shocked) Oh my god. Phoebe, you used to mug people? Phoebe: Excuse me, Ross, old friends catching up… [Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica sits on the couch as Joey enters] Monica: Hey, how did the audition go? Joey: Well, they wanna see me again this afternoon, but, err, well, Lennart Haze did not like me. (He sits down) Monica: What happened? Joey: Well, he said I wasn't urgent enough, you know, and that everything I did was horizontal and I should be more vertical. Oh, and he said that I should think less. Monica: So far so good! (Joey nods) Chandler: (entering, carrying a large box) Honey, I'm old! Monica: (standing up, walking towards him) What's wrong? Chandler: I am so much older than these other interns. I can't compete with them. Monica: So you're a little older. Try to look at the positive: You have all this life experience. Chandler: Yes, but I don't think life experience with these. (He opens the box and takes an inline skate-like sneaker out) Joey: Wooooooooow (He takes the sneaker) It's like they're on fre! Monica: What are they? (They sit down again) Chandler: They're these prototype sneakers and come up with ideas on how to sell them which I can't do because no self-respecting adult would ever where these. Joey: (determined) I give you $ 500 for them! Chandler: What am I supposed to do with these? Monica: Ah, come on, sneakers are easy. You wear sneakers all the time. Chandler: Well, first of all, they're not called "sneakers" anymore. Apparently, they're called "kicks" or "skids" and I think I heard somebody say "slorps". (He takes a sneaker) And here, look: they've got these wheels to pop out from the bottom so you can roll around 'cause, apparently, walking is too much exercise. Kids, kids, roll your way to childhood obesity! (to Monica) Would you help me try to sell these? Monica: Okay, have you considered using a girl with huge knockers? Chandler: No, I don't think that's the kinda thing they're looking for. Joey: Hey, that'd work on me! Why did I get to buy Mrs. Butterwords? [Scene: Central Perk, Monica sits on the couch as Phoebe and Ross enter] All: Hey, hey! Ross: Hey, you'll never guess what just happened… Phoebe and I got mugged! Monica: You okay?! Ross: (sitting down) Yah, because Phoebe knew the mugger! Monica: (bewildered) How do you know a mugger? Phoebe: I'm sorry I have friends outside the six of us. Ross: You wanna know how she knew him? (He points at Phoebe) Because Phoebe used to mug people. Monica: (shocked) Seriously? Phoebe: Well, I'm not proud of it, but, you know… sometimes when I was living on the street and I needed money for food and stuff I… Monica: (disapproving) Phoebe, that is awful! Phoebe: Well, ok, I wasn't rich like you guys, ok, I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony… I had a hard life, my mother was klled by a drug dealer… Monica: You're mother klled herself! Phoebe: She was a drug dealer! Ross: Well, anyway, it was a good thing Phoebe knew the knew him, because (menacingly) I was about to do some serious damage! Phoebe: (laughing) Okay… Monica: Well, this must've brought back some really bad memories for you, Ross. Phoebe: Why? Monica: Well, Ross was mugged as a kid. Phoebe: (worried) You were? Ross: Yeah, it was pretty traumatic. I was outside St. Marc's Comics… you know, I-I-I was just there minding my own business, you know, seeing what kinda trouble got into that week- Monica: (coughing) Wonderwoman! Ross: Anyway, I was heading towards this bakery, you know, to pick up a couple of dozen Linzer torts for someone… (He looks at Monica) … when outta nowhere this *** with a pipe jumps out and says: "Gimme your money, punk!" Phoebe: (shocked) Oh my god… Ross: I know! And-and the worst part was they took my backpack which had all the original artwork I had done for my own comic book: "Science Boy" Monica: Oh yeah! What was his superpower again? Ross: A superhuman thirst for knowledge. Monica: That's it. Ross: Well, I-I better get to class (He stands up) Are there any more of your friends I should look out for on my way, Phoebe? Phoebe: No… actually, you might wanna stay away from Jane street… that's where sab Joe works. (Ross leaves Central Perk) Phoebe: Okay, I think we have a problem here. Monica: What? Phoebe: Well, uhm, back in my mugging days, you know, I, uhm, I worked St. Marc's Comics. Monica: Yeah? Phoebe: Well, a pipe was my wapon of choice and, uhm, pre-teen comic book nerds were my meat. Monica: So? Phoebe: Well, there was this one kid who had a sticker on his backpack that said- Phoebe and Monica: "Geology rocks!" Monica: Oh my god! Phoebe: I know… I mugged Ross! [Scene: Audition room, the producers and Lennart are waiting for Joey] Receptionist: You're late! Joey: (entering) I know, I'm sorry, but can I just have a quick second to run to the bathroom? Receptionist: No, Lennart doesn't wait! Joey: But I'm bursting with u-hu! Lennart: (spotting Joey) Joey! Here we go. Let's go very quickly! Joey: Actually, I really need… Lennart: (interrupting) We must go now, quickly, please. Joey: Yes… ahahaaa (He seems to be in pain) Lennart: Ready? "What the hell are you still doing here?" Joey: (walking on the spot) "I think you know!" Lennart: "Oh, you sick bastard!" Joey: "I am what you made me! You know what?" Lennart: "What?" Joey: "I could go right now." Lennart: "Then go, go!" Joey: (urgent) "I, oh, I can't. I want to, but I can't!" Lennart: Cut! That was good. (He turns to the producers) That was very good. You did everything I asked for. Joey: (disbelieving) I did? Lennart: Yes. Plus… what you've got that… I don't know what you've got going… this squirmy quality that you bring into the character that I couldn't've even imagined. Wow, hey, here's what we gonna do: come back tomorrow for the final callbacks with the **, do all of this what you've got going now, but – you know what? – more, more. Can you do that? Joey: Sure, yeah. I don't have time to say thank you because I really gotta go. (He grabs his jacket and limps out of the room) Lennart: (watching Joey leave) Look at that: still in character, I like it… I plant seeds I can't explain. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Chander sits on the couch as Monica and Rachel enter] Monica: Hey! Chandler: Hey! Monica: What are you doing? Chandler: Putting on the sneakers… thought I'd get into a younger mindset, you know, to see if it sparked anything… Rachel: Oh, anything yet? Chandler: Yes, how's this: They're so uncomfortable it's like getting kicked in the nuts for your feet! (At that moment, Joey opens the door) Joey: (entering) Hey! All: Hey! (Joey heads straight for the fridge, takes all the beverage cans and is about to leave the apartment) Joey: Probably wanna know what I'm doing…? Monica: No, that seems about right. Joey: Yesterday at my audition, I really had to pee, and apparently, having to pee makes me a really good actor. I got a call-back, so I'm drinking everything. Oh, by the way, that egg nog in our fridge was great! Rachel: Joey, that was formula. Joey: We gotta get more of that. (He leaves the apartment) Chandler: (sitting on the couch) You know what… these aren't half-bad! (to Rachel) You should suggest something like these to Ralph Lauren. Rachel: Okay, first of all, that's stupid and second of all, I'm not allowed to talk to Ralph. Chandler: Alright (He stands wearing the sneakers on) I feel younger already! (He trips and falls hard on his back) Chandler: (on the floor) Yah, I think I broke my hip. [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there drinking coffee and Ross is about to enter] Phoebe: (spotting Ross) Hey, you! Ross: Hey! Phoebe: Hey, how was class? Ross: No one ever asked me that, what's wrong? Phoebe: Nothing, I really wanna know. Ross: Oh… (He looks positively surprised) Well, uhm, there was actually a rather lively discussion about the Pleistocene… Phoebe: (interrupting) Alright, nothing is worth this. Uhm, I have a confession to make… uhm, okay, you know, that girl that mugged you when you were a kid… Ross: (disbelieving) Wh-What are you talking about? It wasn't a girl. It was this huge dude. Phoebe: You don't have to lie anymore, Ross, I know that it was a fourteen year-old girl. Ross: No, it wasn't. Phoebe: Yes, it was. Ross: No, it wasn't. You don't think I would've defended myself against a fourteen year-old… Phoebe: (interrupting, pinching his year) "Gimme your money, punk!" Ross: (shocked) Oh my god, it was you! I can't believe it, you… you mugged me? Phoebe: (apologetic) Yeah, and I'm so, so sorry, Ross, I'm sorry, but, you know, if you think about it, it's kinda neat. (She smiles at him, but he doesn't understand) I mean, well, it's just that I I've always felt kinda like an outsider, you know, the rest of you have these connections that go way back and, you know, now, you and I have… have a great one! Ross: It's not the best! Phoebe: I know, I'm sorry, please forgive me. I don't know what to say… Ross: (indignant) There's nothing you can say. That was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me. Phoebe: Really? Even more humiliating than… Ross: (interrupting) Hey, let's not do this! (He picks up his briefcase and walks out of the door, leaving Phoebe behind) [Scene: Chandler's new workplace, we are witnessing a presentation of a fellow intern] Intern: … and then, at the end of the commercial, the girls get out of the hut tub and start making out with each other! Boss: (ironic) That's interesting! Just one thought: You didn't mention the shoes. Who's next? (Chandler raises his hand) Chander… Chandler: Okay… (He stands up) You start on the image of a guy putting on the shoes. He's about my age… Intern: (snorting) Your age? Chandler: A-huh. So he's rolling down the street and he starts to lose control, you know… maybe he falls… maybe hurts himself. Just then, a kid comes flying by wearing the shoes. He jumps over the old guy and laughs, and the line reads: "Not suitable for adults!" Boss: Chandler, that's great! Chandler: Oh, thank you, sir… or man-who's-two-years-younger-than-me (He sits down again) Boss: You see? That has a clear selling point. It appeals to our key demographic, it's…. (enthusiastic) You did you come up with that? Chandler: (over-enthusiastic) I don't know, I don' I don' know! I was just trying to get into a young mindset, you know, and it just started to flow. Boss: That is great. Good work! Chandler. Thank you. Boss: See all of you tomorrow. (He leaves) (Chandler stands up and walks out the room with a cane) Chandler: The cold weather hurts my hip! [Scene: Central Perk, Ross sits in a chair as Phoebe enters] Phoebe: Hey, Ross! (He lowers his newspaper and scowls at her) I know you're still mad at me, but can I just talk to you for a second? Ross: Sure, go ahead. Whoops, sorry, sure, go ahead. (He raises his hands as if being mugged) Phoebe: I just really wanted to apologize again and… and also show you something I think you'll find very exciting. (She puts a box on her lap, labelled "crap from the street") Ross: (faking enthusiasm) Oh my god, crap from the street? (She smiles excitedly, but Ross just turns back to his newspaper) Phoebe: Look, Ross, in this box are all the things I got from mugging that I thought were too special to sell… or smoke. (Ross looks at her in astonishment) Anyway, I was looking through it and I found "Science Boy" (She holds up some sheets of paper and hands them to Ross) Ross: Oh my god. (He sighs) I never thought I'd see this again. (He browses trough the pages) It's all here. What made you save it all these years? Phoebe: I can't say, I just thought it was really good… and… maybe would be worth something some day. Ross: You really thought "Science Boy" was worth saving! Phoebe: Yeah… but you should know, I also have a jar of vaseline and a cat skull in here. Ross: Still… this is amazing… Oh my god, thank you, Phoebe. Phoebe: You're welcome. And thank you for "Science Boy". I learned a lot from him Ross: You're welcome. [Scene: Audition room, Joey and Lennart are rehearsing] Joey: (hoping frantically on the spot, screaming) "I need an answer!" Lennart: "I-I-I can't tell you somethin' I don't know." Joey: "You know!" Lennart: "I don't know!" Joey: "I need an answer now!" Lennart: "Alright, here, you want an answer… the answer… is…" (He pauses while Joey struggles to avoid wetting his pants) Joey: (screaming) Oh! Lennart: "She never loved me, she only loved you." Joey: "You knew this all along and you never told me? You never told me? I can never forgive you, I can never forgive myself, I have nothing to live for – Bang – End Scene!" Lennart: Absolutely amazing! (The producers applaud Joey) The part is yours. Joey: (in pain) Oh thanks, thanks! Now, I really have to get… Lennart: Wa-wa-wa-wait! Congratulations! You did it! You did it! (He hugs Joey) You can relax now. Yeah. (Joey relaxes and wets his pants while hugging Lennart) Closing Credits [Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica sits at the table reading the mail] Monica: Wow, that's a big cable bill! Huh, you don't have a job, but you have no problem ordering prn… on a Saturday afternoon?! (shocked) I was in the house! Ross: (entering) Hey, uhm, Phoebe didn't by any chance mention that… Monica: … that she was the huge guy that mugged you? Yah. Ross: I see. You didn't happen to tell… Monica: … everybody we know? Yeah. Ross: Great. Thanks! (He leaves) End	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x15 - The One With The Mugging"}	foreverdreaming
Transcribed by: r3v3LaT1oN with corrections and additional information by Keith Owen [Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler and Monica are looking through some papers.] Chandler: Did you see our bank statement? Can this be right? Monica: I know...God. I haven't seen my savings take a ht like this since I was a kid and they came up with double-stuffed Oreos. What happened to all our money? Chandler: I'm not sure what they did, but I'm inclined to blame Enron. Monica: I guess with you doing the internship, we're just spending more than we're bringing in. Chandler: Maybe I should quit and get a job that pays. Monica: Oh, But you're finally doing something that you love! I can't ask you to give that up. Though it'd be nice if the thing that you love was y'know... finding gold. Chandler: You know what? You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this. ok? So we pay our bills a little late this month and maybe next month we cut back on a few things. And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refrigerator for a change. You're chef... what can you make out of backing soda and beer? Monica: Ok worse case scenario is...we borrow some money from my parents. Chandler: No! We're not borrowing money. Monica: Why not? Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was... well to always knock before going into the pool house... but the other thing was never borrow money. Monica: Wow! I Had no idea you had this much pride. Chandler: That's right! I do! And I'm your man. And I'm going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard. Opening Credits [Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.] Mike: I'm gonna go. (He kisses Phoebe on the cheek) Phoebe: Why?? Mike: I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get some more clothes. Phoebe: Oh...you don't have to go, I have something that will fit you. Mike: I put that tube top on as a joke. Phoebe: I want you to stay. Mike: I want to stay too but I've gone as bad as much use out of these boxers as I can.. Phoebe: Why don't you turn them inside ou... Mike: Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued) I'll be back in a couple of hours. Phoebe: I'll miss you. Mike: Me too. (He leaves. A few moments later, he enters again.) You know what? I just realised something. I don't wanna go home. Phoebe: Great! Ok...I'll go get the tube top. Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together? Phoebe: Wow, Mike Hannigan...You sure know how to make a girl say "Hell yeah!" Mike: So we're doing it? Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together! Mike: Yeah! Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun! [Scene: Joey's apartment. Monica enters.] Monica: Hey Joey! Joey: Hey! Monica: Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler. (Joey frowns...then looks as if he understands) Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good...(He winks)...But wrong. Monica: (Looks exasperated) Ok first of all...It would be great. But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. I need to borrow some money. Joey: Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake. Monica: But Chandler lent you money! Joey: And I think he would tell you it was a mistake. Monica: Come on...I just need it for some rent and..and some other bills. Joey: Oh...how much? Monica: Two thousand dollars? Joey: Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!? Monica: Yeah... Joey: That's right I am! (Opens drawer and rummages through it. Rachel enters) Rachel: Hi you guys! Joey & Monica: Hey! Joey: Oo...what's in the bag? Rachel: Oh er... well you know Emma started crawling? I realised that this place, is very unsafe for a baby. So I went to the store and got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment. Joey: Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er.. "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh! Monica: Anyway erm, are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff? Rachel: No. I was just going to do this myself. (Joey makes a sarcastic laugh.) Joey: You're gonna do it? Rachel: Yeah, Why? You don't think a woman can do this? Joey: Oh, women can. You can't. Rachel: Monica...would you please tell Joey that he is a pig? Monica: You're a pig. And you can't do this. Rachel: Wha!? What!? Come on! I found the hardware store all by myself! Joey: The hardware store is right down the street. Rachel: There is a hardware store right down the street? [Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.] Phoebe: Hey you guys! Ok, we've got great news. Mike: Phoebe and I are moving in together. Monica, Chandler, Ross: Congratulations!/Good for you!/Great! Phoebe: I know it's so exciting! You know I've never lived with a guy before. Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler) Chandler: Yeah.... she's not so cute. Mike: I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Phoebe: Okay, well you put down the toilet seat. Mike: Yes dear. Monica: Is that a bit you guys do? Phoebe: Uh huh...we're playing you two. Monica: We don't do that! Tell her we don't do that! Chandler: Yes dear. Ross: I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's, that's great! I mean...I'm happy for you guys.. Monica: I hear wedding bells. Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do. Ross: Phoebe, I had no idea you were so conventional. Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom! Mike: You ready to go? Phoebe: Yeah! You bet roomy! Monica: Don't you mean..groomy? Mike: What are you talking about? Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back) Phoebe: China patterns!!!!! [Scene: Joey's apartment. Rachel is fiddling with the drawer.] Rachel: This is easy...Can't do this! (Moves away...and finds her sweater sleeve stuck to the drawer) Oh! Wow! Seriously I can't do this. (Fiddles more) [Scene: Central Perk. Chandler sits on the couch. Joey sits at the round table] Chandler: Hey Joe! Joey: Hey! Chandler: Listen er..I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it. Joey: I thought you didn't have secrets from Monica. Chandler: And that would have made the official party line. (Joey nods) Monica and I are having a little financial trouble. Joey: Yeah, I know. Chandler: What? What do you mean you know? Joey: Err... I just figured it out! You know, I mean you're not working and the economy is bad. Chandler: Oh! Right. Joey: (to himself) That's the fastest I have ever thought! Chandler: Anyway, err... I need to borrow some money. Joey: Oh! Sure! How much? Two thousand dollars? Chandler: Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How do you know that! (Joey begins writing a cheque) Joey: Err...Well I...Know how much you used to make and I know how much your rent is. (shrugs) Chandler: Oh ok. Joey: (To himself) I am on fre! Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you? Joey: Err... Kind of. Chandler: I can't believe her! Did she tell you we were having money problems? Joey: Oh no no no no no... It wasn't... It wasn't because of your money problems, it was for something for her. Chandler: What? Joey: Something personal. Chandler: What would she get for herself for two thousand dollars that she wouldn't tell me about? (Woman with huge breasts cuts across them. Takes Joey's coffee) Woman: Excuse me. Joey: Boob job. Monica: I don't want her to get a boob job! That's crazy! Joey: Well it's...It's not that crazy okay? Making them smaller, that would be crazy. [Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe and Mike are packing stuff.] Mike: Well hey, I wanna ask you about Monica's little "groomy" joke. Phoebe: Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomy. Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right? Phoebe: Oh no! No no! Not at all. We're just moving in right now. See where it goes. Mike: Yeah well, that's the thing. For me it's as far as it can ever go. Phoebe: What do you mean? Mike: Look. Phoebe, I-I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again. Phoebe: Oh. Wow. Mike: It's just my first marriage was, you know such a disaster. I kind of lost faith in the whole idea. Phoebe: Was it really that bad? Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated..... Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean. Mike: Look it's not about who I would marry. And I was certain the first time I got married it would last forever. And I was totally wrong! Phoebe: But it's just... Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again. Phoebe: Oh! Mike: I'm sorry. Are you ok with that? Cause if not...maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea. Phoebe: No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in and you start changing your mind there's gonna be hell to pay mister! Mike: Trust me, I will never... Phoebe: Yeah I get that. [Scene: Joey's apartment. Rachel is flipping through magazines. Handyman is installing things. Monica enters.] Rachel: Hi! Monica: So you gave in and decided to call someone? Rachel: Yeah, I don't know who I was kidding. I can barely use chopsticks. Handyman: You're all set. (picks up his bag and starts to leave) Rachel: Oh thank you so much. (Picks up the guy's spirit level) Oh oh wait! You forgot your erm...Your game. (hands it to him) Handyman: Thanks..... (Chandler enters) Chandler: Hey Rach! There she is...My perfectly proportioned wife. Rachel: Don't look at me I never get his jokes. Monica: Thank you? Chandler: Oh no..don't thank me. Thank you. You know there's not one thing I would change about you? Not one single thing! And definitely not... two... single things. Monica: Ok, you're being wierd. Do you want sex or did you do something bad? Chandler: No no! I just love the way you look, I am warm, for your form. Monica: Ok..You know the old classics you know,You look nice? They're still ok. Chandler: Well yes yes... You look nice can mean that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your body. I mean..I wouldn't change it. At all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger. Monica: Okay... Chandler: I mean, You wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger would you? Don't answer that. (He leaves) Rachel: Just when you thought that dude couldn't get any wierder. Monica: I know why do you think he was so worried about me getting bigger? Rachel: I don't know! I mean, what brought that on? Monica: Oh my god. We're trying to get pregnant so he's probably starting to freak out about the fact that my body is going to change. Rachel: No you really think that's what it is? Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler. Rachel: Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger, your ass is gonna get bigger, you're gonna lose bladder control. (she starts sobbing) God! It's just such a magical time! [Scene:Ross's apartment. Phoebe is at the door.] Phoebe: Hi Ross: Hey! Phoebe: Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage. Ross: Oh great now you're seeking me out to make jokes? I mean I can see for all hanging out but to come to my home! Phoebe: No...I really wanted to know how you feel about it. Ross: Why? Phoebe: Mike doesn't ever wanna get married. Ross: Never? Phoebe: Never. Ross: wow, are you still going to move in with him? Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks! Ross: Yeah, marriage... stinks! I mean if you wanna see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving? Get them married. Phoebe: That's not how you really feel is it? Ross: No, I'm sorry. Look I don't think that's what you wanna hear right now but I can't help it. I love marriage. Phoebe: Seriously? You divorce-o? Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry. Phoebe: It's ok that's how you feel. Ross: But come on! I mean living together will be great! I mean you guys have so much fun and you love Mike. Phoebe: I do love Mike. Ross: Yeah see? And you are so excited about moving in together before, and you know what? You should be. It's a big deal! Phoebe: Yeah I guess you're right. Yeah thanks. This helped. Thanks. Ross: The Divorcer, to the rescue! Phoebe: It's not cooler. Ross: Yeah I just hurt it. [Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey enters carrying a tub of ice cream. He sets it on the table, takes off his jacket and struggles with the drawer. It cannot be opened.] Joey: Rach?! (He walks over to the fridge to put it in, but it cannot be opened either) Rachel!!!!? (He walks to the bathroom and tries to lift the toilet seat cover. It won't come up.) So I can't do anything I like???? [Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler enters. Rachel and monica are seated at the table.] Chandler: Hey Rach! Ah........ Perfection. (kisses monica) Wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing. Monica: Honey? Chandler: Yeah? Monica: About that? Erm...I'm going to change. Chandler: But honey you don't have to. Monica: I'm going to get bigger! Chandler: Honey I... I love your breasts the way they are! Rachel: Argh. fascist Monica: Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too. Chandler: your ass?!?!? Rachel: Man, don't be surprised if her hands and her feet get bigger too! Chandler: They...do that? Monica: It's kind of a package deal! Chandler: God why why would you want to do that to yourself!? Monica: I thought I was something that we both wanted! Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet? Rachel: Oh my god Chandler! If you can't handle this, what are you going to be like in the hospital? With the blood and the screaming and the little present that's sh**ting out of her!? Chandler: (sedated) What? [Scene: Joey's apartment. He's prying open the drawer with a crowbar to no avail. Monica, Rachel and Chandler enter.] Rachel: Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job? Joey: Because she is! Monica: Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money. Joey: Mmmm hmm! For your boob job! Monica, Rachel, Chandler: It's over/Joe! Joey: OK so I'm out four thousand dollars and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger? [Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Ross is helping with the packing, Phoebe and Mike are also there.] Ross: Hey! What do you guys think about this. "Ross: The Divorce-Force". Phoebe: Better. Mike: Very cool. Ross: Hey Pheebs, you know I'm i'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful. Phoebe: Oh yeah you were helpful! Yeah, no, thanks you. Ross: Good, good. Yeah coz the more I thought about it, the more I realised I don't think marriage is neccessarily the right path for you. Phoebe: What do you mean? Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo? Phoebe: They are awfully boxy... Ross: I don't know you'd be so bored with marriage. I mean it's so... normal. Phoebe: Uh huh. (Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door) Ross: Hey hey, can I help? Chandler: Well! We er..climbed up four flights of stairs, manueveored a narrow hallway, dodged a rabid pitbul... but these last three feet are where it gets really tricky. Ross: You know sometimes your words... they hurt. Joey: Hey uh, where do you guys want this? Rachel: Yeah, seriously coz this is really heavy. (She suddenly lets go) I mean not for me because i'm only pretending to hold this, but for these guys. Phoebe: Just one last time erm... the marriage thing... there's no wiggle room? None at all? Mike: No but... You don't want to get married either right? Phoebe: Right. Except that I do want to get married. Joey: (voice strained) Couldn't have this conversation down at the truck huh? Mike: You wanna get married? Phoebe: Someday. Chandler: Aaaaand....... hernia. Phoebe: I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt I was missing out on anything but it just feels that now it's my turn some of the regular stuff. Mike: But if you wanna get married why didn't you say something before? Phoebe: Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it. And I love you, and I wanted to live with you. Mike: I want to live with you too! Let's do that! Phoebe: But I don't think I can! it was ok to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen. Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage. Phoebe: Are you gonna change yours? Mike: No. Phoebe: Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want. Mike: But I don't want this to end. Phoebe: I don't want it to end either. Mike: I can't believe this is gonna end. I guess I'll have my stuff packed up. Phoebe: Yeah. Mike: Ok... so...(They hug) Goodbye. Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now! Rachel: I'm so sorry Pheebs. Monica: We're all sorry... (They have a group hug) Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. (they hug again) Ending Credits [Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is struggling with the fridge. He finally gets it open and falls on the floor] Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again! End	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x16 - The One With The Boob Job"}	foreverdreaming
Aired: 3/13/2003 Teleplay by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones Story by: Robert Carlock Directed by: Gary Halvorson Transcribed by: Eleonora, Pheeboh and Vanessa [Scene: Ross' apartment , Chandler and Joey enter] Chandler: Hey! Ready to go? Ross: Oh yeah, let me just finish this. Joey: Hey Ross, check this out! (he tries to spin a basketball on his fingertip but he throws it against a table) yeah, I can't do that! Chandler: What are you doin'? Ross: Have you seen this? It's a new alumni website for college! It's cool! You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to. Chandler: Great, a faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless . Ross: It's actually kinda interesting to find out what people are doing... remember Andrea Rich? Chandler: The tall girl who wouldn't sleep with you? Ross: Uh uh... well, her Internet Company went under and she lost an ear in a boating accident... Chandler: Bet she'd sleep with you now... Ross: No... I already e-mailed her. Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " (pause) You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest! Ross: You know what? I'm gonna finish this later, ok? Let me just grab my coat. Joey: Hey! (he throws the basketball against a table again) Ross: (he picks up the ball) What do you think you learnt how to do in the last two minutes?? (he enters another room) Chandler: Maybe we finish this for him! (he sits down on the sofa and he start typing on Ross' computer) "Also I cloned a dinosaur in my lab. She's now my girlfriend. I don't care what society says. It's the best sex I've ever had"... aaand SEND! Joey: (he stops Chandler from posting the message) No, no, no... what do... you can't do that to him! Ross: (he comes back) Alright, let's go! Joey: Dude! (he opens his arms to receive the ball from Ross' hands) Ross: I think you made it clear you cannot be trusted with the ball inside the house! Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button) Opening credits [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment] Rachel: Hey! How was basketball? Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye! Rachel: Oh, no! Who did that? Joey: Chandler... hey... (he goes towards his room but he stops near Emma's cot) Rach... what's Hugsy doin' in the crib with Emma? (he looks puzzled) Rachel: She was just crawling around and she found him, so I just let her sleep with him. That's all right? Isn't it? Joey: (still very puzzled) Oh, yeah... of course... yeah... it's a stuffed animal... you know... it's for kids... not for adults... I know that! Rachel: Joey... are you sure? I mean, I know how much you love him! Joey: Rachel... let's be clear on this, ok? I do not love Hugsy. I like him a normal amount... Rachel: All right... Oh, Emma loves him! Joey: Why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person! [Scene: Central Perk] Phoebe: Hi. Monica: Hey Phoebe... how you doin'? You feelin' better? Phoebe: Breaking up sucks! Oh, I really miss Mike! Chandler: Oh, I'm so sorry! Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this... Chandler: You're not gonna need my help? Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you. Chandler: Oh good, 'cause I've already thought of 3... 4! I've just thought of a fourth (he goes towards the counter) Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that. Monica: Ok, you got it! Phoebe: (after a pause) Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said. Monica: Really? If that's what you want... Phoebe: That was a test and you just failed. Monica: Damn it! Rookie mistake! (Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter) Ross: (yelling at Chandler) I have sex with dinosaurs?? Chandler: I believe I read that somewhere! Ross: That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... (pause) It's not funny!! Chandler: I respectfully disagree. Ross: I can't believe you put that on my alumni page! Chandler: Who cares? Nobody reads those things Ross: You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today. Chandler: I don't have a page. Ross: Oh oh oh! I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE!! [Scene: Rachel's room. Rachel and Emma are sleeping; Joey sneaks in and approaches the crib] Joey: Look at you, all sweet and innocent, sleeping like an angel... with Emma's chubby little hands wrapped around ya. (he picks up Hugsy) It's okay, Emma, you stay asleep. (Emma cries) Rachel: (thrat Joey with a scrunchy): Step away from the crib, I have a wapon! Joey: It's okay, it's okay Rach, it's me. Put down the scrunchy. Rachel: What are you doing? Joey: Well, I heard Emma stirring, so I came to make sure she could reach Hugsy. Rachel: Oh, oh thanks. Alright well, now that I'm up I'm going to go to the bathroom. Joey: (placing Hugsy back in the crib) There you go sweetie... (to Emma) This isn't over. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.] Monica: Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... (reads from the screen) "gay as the day is long"? Chandler: Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs. Monica: But that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true. (Phone rings) Chandler: Would you get that please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day. Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge. Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something). Monica: What are you doing? Chandler: Oh, you'll see my friend. [Time lapse, still Chandler and Monica's, but only Chandler is there. Enter Ross] Ross: (visibly upset) I'm dad? Chandler: (faking sympathy) And so young. Ross: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny. Chandler: Well, how you died was funny. Ross: Oh please, ht by a blimp? Chandler: It kills over one americans every year. Ross: Unbelievable, my classmates are gonna think I'm dad, my professors, my... my parents are gonna get phone calls. You're messing with people's feelings here. Chandler: You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West! Ross: You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay prn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic. [Scene: Phoebe's apartment] Phoebe: God, I wish Mike were here. Monica: Okay if Mike were here what would the two of you be doing? (Phoebe gives her a meaningful look) Monica: What are you, animals? It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon! Phoebe: I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that. Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone. Phoebe: Here. Monica: And now your cell. Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica) Monica: This is your cellphone? Phoebe: Yes. Monica: This is your current cellphone? Phoebe: Yes, it reminds me of a simpler time. Monica: Phoebe, where's your purse? (They run for Phoebe's purse, Phoebe gets there first and takes the cell. Monica tries to take it away from her) Monica: No, no! Give it to me! Phoebe: You can't have it. Monica: Give it to me! Phoebe: No (tucks it in her pants) Monica: I'll go in there. Phoebe: (disbelievingly) Oh yeah. Monica: Phoebe come here (they fight a little, the phone falls and Monica picks it up) Monica: Haha! Phoebe: Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing! [Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Enter Joey] Joey: Hey, look who's here! It's Joey, and he brought home a friend. Rachel: Joey, Emma's right here! You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore. Joey: No, no, it's not a girl, it's... a brand new Hugsy! Rachel: Oh that's so great, now Emma has two Hugsy's. Joey: No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back. Rachel: Oh you know what? When I was a little girl I had a little pink pony named Cotton. Oh I loved her so much, I took her everywhere, I would braid her tail... Joey: Make the transfer! (She does so) Rachel: Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Hugsy and I can't find it? Joey: Oh, no don't worry about that, I swallowed that years ago. (Emma cries) Rachel: Oh, I don't think she likes the new Hugsy. Joey: But he's the same. Rachel: Yeah, I think she wants the old one back. Joey: But he's the same. Rachel: Joey, come on! Joey: He's the same! (they exchange Hugsy's). Joey: (to the new Hugsy) You're not the same! [Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Enter Monica] Monica: Haha! Phoebe: You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building. Monica: So Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door. Phoebe: Those are my shoes. Monica: Oh, when you get over this breakup we need to go shopping. Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now. (Someone knocks on the door) Monica: Who's that? (goes to open door) Phoebe: I ordered Chinese food. (Monica opens the door and Mike is standing at the doorway) Phoebe: What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!? Monica: (To Mike) What are you doing here? Mike: Phoebe called me. Monica: Phoebe! Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him. Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him? Phoebe: There is a speakerphone on the base unit... Monica: Base Unit! Think Monica! Think! Mike: Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see... Monica: (to Mike) This doesn't concern you!! Mike: Oh! Sorry, I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name! Monica: Look, guys, you can't do this, it's just going to make getting over each other, that much harder. Phoebe: Not if nothing happens. Why can't... why can't we just hang out as friends? Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical). Phoebe: Sit down. (Phoebe and Mike sit next to each other) Monica: Oh wow wow wow!! Make room for your friend! (sits herself down between them) Mike: (to Phoebe) So how've you been? Monica: I've been pretty good! Mike: (to Phoebe) You look really beautiful. Phoebe: Thanks, you look good too. Monica: Oh no no no no... this is dangerous territory. Keep it clean! Phoebe: So how's the piano playing going? Mike: Actually I've been playing a lot of love songs lately. I've missed you. Phoebe: I've missed you too. (Silence) Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it! [Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in] Chandler: Hey, Ross, I just wanted to apologize... (looks at laptop screen)..don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me? Ross: uhu uhu, check this out. (Chandler sits down and looks at laptop screen) Chandler: Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out... and was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually going to send these out are ya? Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dad" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dad. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dad!? Chandler: No, come on, you know that's not true. Ross: What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dad! Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dad community. Ross: I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner? And I carried that guy! (gets up from his sofa) Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dad .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief. Ross: You're right. There isn't a decent outlet. Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come. Ross: Exactly!! (sits back down at his laptop and starts typing) Chandler: Ross, what're you... what're you... what are you doing? (looks at laptop screen)You're having a memorial service for yourself!? Ross: No! That would be stupid! You're having it for me! Chandler: Ross, don't press send, don't press se... ! Ross: oh, too late, too late! It's sent... oops sorry and so is the picture of you and the police man... [Scene: Joey's room: Joey is sitting on his bed reading DooL transcript when Rachel walks in] Rachel: I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap, have you seen Hugsy? Joey: Original or crappy? Rachel: Original. Joey: No, sorry haven't seen him. Rachel: Then what's that big lump under your covers? Joey: It's Monica, ok? Rachel: That's not Monica! Joey: Alright!! Fine! It's original Hugsy! No, now I know that Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him.. Rachel: (to herself) Oh God. Joey: ... she's being unreasonable! Rachel: (yelling) Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much (Joey covers Hugsy's ears) Oh don't cover its ears! (stops yelling) It's because it reminds her of her uncle Joey! Joey: It does? Rachel: Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much. Joey: Really? She... she loves me? Rachel: Oh yeah! But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry. Emma will totally understand. I won't... but whatever (She leaves the room). Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him. Rachel: Oooh... you're sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up. (Turns to face Emma in the the playpen) Look Emma, look who's baaack! Joey: Look forget it forget it... I can't do it. Rachel: Are you gonna... you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child? Joey: How do you think I got him in the first place? [Scene: Phoebe's apartment: Phoebe, Monica and Mike sitting on the couch] (Monica is getting up from the couch) Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it. Mike: I've missed you so much! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want different things, but just to be with you one more night. Phoebe: I know, I want that too, but IS that going to make it too hard? Mike: It can't be any harder than this... I mean, If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I... I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time... I never would have stopped. Monica: (running back into the room) Kiss him, you fool!! Phoebe: What? Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will! Phoebe: Oh, I missed you so much! (she kisses Mike) Strange man: (he bounds into the house) I knew you'd be here! Mike: Oh, crap! Phoebe: Who is this? Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you. Monica: Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe! Manny: Well, you are not doing a very good job! Monica: Excuse me? Manny: What's with the kissing? Monica: Hey, at least I knew where my guy was. Manny: Oh yeah yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing! Monica: You didn't hear the speech! Manny: I've heard the speech: (in a mocking voice) "if he knew it was gonna be the last time he saw her... " Monica: Hey, it was very moving! You're just heartless! Manny: You're weak! Monica: You're... weird! Manny: Your pants are undone! Monica: Oh (realizes her pants are undone and zips them up)! Manny: (looking at the sofa) Where did they go? Monica: Damn it! Manny: Oh we blew it. I blame myself. Monica: And I blame you too. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment] Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted! (someone knocks on the door) Chandler: There you go! Someone came! Ross: Ok, ok! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner! (he hides in the bedroom and closes the door) (Chandler and Monica go open the door) Monica: Hi, glad you could come. Chandler: (in a mournful voice) Please, come in. Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class. Chandler: Oh yes, yes... let me... take your coat. Tom: Thanks... uh... I'm so sorry about Ross, it's... Chandler: At least he died doing what he loved... watching blimps (he goes in the bedroom) Ross: Who is he? Chandler: Some guy, Tom Gordon. Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door) Monica: So, did you know Ross well? Tom: Oh, actually I barely knew him. Yeah, I came because I heard Chandler's news. D'you know if he's seeing anyone? Monica: (a bit surprised) Yes, he is. Me. Tom: What? You... You... Oh! Can I ask you a personal question? Ho-how do you shave your beard so close? Chandler: (entering, very upset) Ok Tommy, that's enough mourning for you! Here we go, bye bye!! (he shoves him out the door) Tom: (before leaving) Hey, listen. Call me. Chandler: Ok! (shuts the door behind Tom) Ross: (coming in) I'm dad and no one cares? Monica: I look like a man?? Chandler: Please, one ridiculous problem at a time! Ross: It isn't ridiculous, look around! No one's here! Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand! Ross: Yes, you're right. Still somebody must have seen it... I mean, I went to that school for 4 years, I didn't have an impact on anyone? Chandler: Oh, that's not true. You had an impact on me, I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends. Doesn't that count for something? Ross: (sceptical) Yeah... (someone knocks on the door) Oh, great. More party boys for Chandler! Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide. (Ross hides in the bedroom again) (Chandlers opens the door. A beautiful woman stands at the doorway.) Kori: Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service. Chandler: Kori? Kori Weston? Kori: Yeah... Chandler: Wow! You look amazing! Kori: And you are... Chandler: Chandler, Chandler Bing. I'm not gay, I'm not gay at all. Monica: You are married though. Chandler: Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood! (lets her in) Kori: I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad. Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close. Kori: We weren't but we had one class together. He was such a great guy and he talked so passionately about science. I always remembered him. Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently. Kori: I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance. Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people! Kori: You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! (she leaves and slams the door behind her) Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!! Ending Credits [Scene: Ross' apartment] Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dad. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x17 - The One With The Memorial Service"}	foreverdreaming
Teleplay: Sherry Bilsing - Graham & Ellen Plummer Story: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones Directed by: Gary Halvorson Transcribed by: Eleonora, Pheeboh, Roni & Vanessa [Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters] Joey: Monica, hey, can I borrow the Porsche? Monica: Ok. Joey: Alright! Monica: But ehm...what is it not? Joey: (abashed) A place to entertain my lady friends. Monica: And what else is it not? Joey: (even more abashed) A place to eat spaghetti. Monica: Very good! (Gives him the keys) What do you need it for anyway? Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so... Rachel: Oh! So you're driving up to Connecticut? Joey: (hesitates for a moment)Yeah Connecticut...Not West Virginia. Monica: Hey, maybe I'll drive you up there! I'd like to buy some tickets myself! Joey: Uh! Monica: Yeah with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars. Chandler: Yeah, because if I was at my old job we'd say 300 million? No thank you! Phoebe: Hey will you get me tickets too? Rachel: Yeah me too. oh! I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it! Everyone almost simultaneously except Ross: yeah thats a great idea! Ross: No thanks! Phoebe: You don't wanna win the lottery? Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart. Chandler: Still on Amelia Earhart? Ross: The woman just vanished! Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this? Ross: No! Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery? I...I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times. Chandler: Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times. Joey: I like those odds! Ross: Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki. Chandler: (looking around at the others)I'll ask. (To Ross) Boohaki? Ross: Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her. Rachel: Yeah so get ready to hear alot of ehm...boohaki, goshdarnit and brotherpucker. Monica: How do you know she's gonna start talking? Rachel: Well when I talk to her I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying. Chandler: Kinda like Joey. Joey: (who wasn't paying attention)What's that now? Opening credits [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen] Monica: God! Look at all these tickets! It's so exciting! You know I haven't won anything since the sixth grade. Chandler: Pie eating contest? Monica: Oh! You assume because I was heavy that's the only way I could win something? Chandler: No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries. Monica: (smiling)That was a good day! (Suddenly Ross comes running into the apartment) Ross: (yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!! Monica: I'm parked in a garage on Morton! Ross: (panting)They're towing a car. And I am seeing...spots. Joey: (sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!? Rachel: Joey relax! My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there! Joey: (not yelling anymore)I was? Racel: Yes and you talked to her... Joey: I did? Rachel: She dropped off a casserole? Joey: Oh yeah! The casserole lady. Monica: (to Ross)So, did you come by to watch us win the big bucks? Ross: Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it! (phone starts ringing and Chandler comes running out of the bathroom) Chandler: (hysterical)Don't touch the phone! I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it!! (picks up the phone) Ross: (to Monica)Think he washed his hands? Chandler: (into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know? Rachel: (to Monica)What's going on? Monica: Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three. Joey: Ooh! Tough odds! Ross: (mockingly)Yeah if only it were a sure thing like your 24 state lottery! Joey: (smiling)Look who's coming around! Chandler: (still on the phone)Damnit. Alright call me when you know more. Joey: (excited)Did you get it? Chandler: One of the slots got filled. Joey: (Still excited)By you!? Chandler: Sense the tone! No that kid Nate got it. Monica: Oh! I hate that guy! I mean come on kid! Pull up your pants! Chandler: Yeah I know. Rachel: Well, there's two spots left right? Chandler: Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie. (Phoebe enters) Phoebe: (excited)Hey you guys! Ok, you're not going to believe this! I just saw my psychic and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight! Monica: Hey that reminds me, I thought we could use some extra luck so I brought a wishbone home from work. Ross: (mockingly)A psychic AND a wishbone? Guys! Give someone else a chance! Monica: Alright, who wants to do it? Phoebe: Oh can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair either! You know, just because we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses! Monica: Ok, hey Rach? Rachel: Oh no, I'm good, I don't wanna get that turkey smell all over my hands. Joey: I'll do it!! It'll get the casserole stink off of mine. (Phoebe and Joey both grab one side of the wishbone) Phoebe: I hope I win! Monica: Well, it doesn't really matter ... you're both wishing for the same thing, right? Joey: I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! Else...you know...won't come true! Monica: Right! .. but we "know" what you're wishing for! Joey: Can't really say! Monica: I understand, but you're wishing for what we think you're wishing for, aren't you? Joey: (slightly irritated)I'm not really comfortable with these questions! Rachel, Chandler and Monica: Please, just do it! Phoebe: One, two, three! (they break the wishbone) Joey: I won, hey! Ross: You know what, I'm sure your wish is gonna come true, but, you guys - just in case, maybe a genie will come out if we rub this lamp! (rubs lamp, stops because it's very hot) Ah!! That thing gets hot!! Rachel: You know, Ross, just keep making your jokes. How are you gonna feel if we actually do win? Ross: Uh, you're not gonna win. Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai" Ross: Ok, I've heard myself on tape and I sound nothing like that. Chandler: I can see the headline now: "Lottery winners' friend filled with regret eats own arm". Ross: Why would I eat my own arm? Chandler: Well you wouldn't, but we own the paper, we can print whatever we want. Monica: You know what, Ross? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you. Ross: Why? Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this. Ross: You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here (they kiss and hug) Phoebe: Get a room! Chandler: Ok, so now that you're in, what are you gonna do if we win? Ross: I don't know, probably just invest it. Chandler: Ooh! Calm down ... Joey: Seriously, that's your fantasy? To invest it? Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased) Joey: Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks! Rachel: I don't really care about the Knicks. Joey: Oh, you will when I pick you as starting forward. Rachel: (touched) You would do that? I never get picked! Chandler: You know, I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go. Joey: You're not gonna let me buy the Knicks?? I can't believe you're taking this away from me! Chandler: You're right, it has been you dream for over 15 seconds. Ross: (to Rachel) Uh, how long until they announce the numbers, Mommy? (pause) Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy? Ross: Oh, I've gotten into the habit of calling Rachel "Mommy" when we're around Emma. Which I now realize we are not ... Rachel: I'm hoping that if she hears it enough it will be her first word. Ross: Although if we're gonna do that, we should probably call me "Daddy" too. Phoebe: Oooh, I like that, "daddy" (in a sexy tone) Ross: I ... I was just talking about Rachel. Phoebe: (still in sexy tone) Oooh, is daddy getting angry? Is daddy gonna spank me? Ross: (tries to be sexy too) Well that depends ... have you been a baaad gi .. (stops) no I can't. (Phone rings, Chandler picks up) Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up) Joey: Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right? Chandler: Well no, Charlie's gonna get that. Monica: Hey, don't say that! You got just as good a chance as anybody else of getting that job! Chandler: He's the boss's son. Monica: Come on, lottery!! (everybody cheers) Rachel: Ooh, you guys, it starts in like 20 minutes. Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first. Rachel: Ooh, I have another idea! Monica: I'm sorry, idea time is over. Phoebe: Ok, well, are all the tickets in the bowl? Monica: Yeah. Chandler: What about the ones you have on the nightstand? Monica: There are no tickets on the nightstand! Chandler: Yes there are, I just saw them a few minutes ago. (Rachel get suspicious) Monica: Un, no you didn't! You must be mistaken! Chandler: Honey, there are like 20 tickets on the nightstand! Monica: Chandler, sense the tone!! (Rachel comes out of their bedroom waving tickets) Rachel: Well, well, well, look what mommy found!! (everyone's shocked) Monica: Ok, fine!! I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler. Phoebe: Uh! The psychic also said that I would be betrayed. Ross: I can't believe this, I thought we were all in this together! Monica: Hey, you just got in 5 minutes ago! Ross: 3 minutes ago!!! I don't know why that's important ... Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those? Monica: When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic! Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how. Rachel: Ok, well Monica, suppose one of your "special" tickets win? How are you gonna feel when you win the lottery and you lose all your friends? Monica: Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days! Rachel: Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong? Chandler: (to Mon) She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ... Monica: Ahhh! (shocked) Chandler: Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel) Monica: There's the man I married!! Rachel: All right, believe me.If you win the lottery, it's the last you're gonna hear from us! Monica: Fine! Don't be my friends! I'll buy new friends! Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they'd look just like you! Rachel: (surprised) OH! Alright, you know what? That's it! I want my share of the tickets (picks up the bowl)! Joey: Yeah, I want my tickets too (takes the bowl from Rachel)! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah! Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond. Phoebe: Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together (takes the bowl from Ross and puts it on the table) Monica: No, no! We should divide them up (picks up the bowl) and I should get extra because we used my card to buy them! Joey: Hey, if anybody gets extra tickets, it should be me! This all thing was my idea! (takes the bowl from Monica) Chandler: Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery! Rachel: Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! (she tries to snatch the bowl from Joey's hands but she can't, so she pinches his nipple and she manages to take it) Joey: (in pain) Oh! Phoebe: (she takes the bowl from Rachel's hands and she starts running around the room and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH! Ross: (trying to stop her) Hey, hey!! Phoebe: (keeping on running and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH! (she stops) Fine, I can't take it anymore! I'm putting an end to this! (she goes out to the balcony) Rachel: Oh, if she jumps, I get her tickets. Joey: No, no! (they all go towards the balcony but they get jammed in the window) Phoebe: If we are not doing it together, we're not doing it at all! So, say goodbye to your tickets! (She holds out the bowl, and makes as to drop the tickets on the street). Everyone: NO!! Phoebe: Don't come any closer! Chandler: Can I come a little bit closer, valuable things are getting squished... Phoebe: No, what's more important, your friends or money? Everyone but Monica: Friends! Monica: Money! (they all look at her) Friends... Phoebe: Hey Monica, what about your extra tickets? Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)... Ross: Monica! Phoebe: Ok, good! (pause) You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this...(a pigeon swoops down, scaring Phoebe who drops the bowl on the street) Oh God, no! (pause) I think I broke your bowl. Ross: Go, go, go!! [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment.] (All are returning from the street after picking up dropped lottery tickets) Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun. Monica: Phoebe, we lost half of them. Phoebe: So, what? Monica, we have the winning ticket! My psychic said I was gonna win, remember? Ross: Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon... Phoebe: As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. (pause ) So, excuse me for being a little skittish. Chandler: (looking at the answering machine) Hey, there's two messages. These could be from work! Monica: Oh, play them! Chandler: Ok, here we go! (he pushes the play button) Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo." (they all keep staring at Phoebe) Phoebe: Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do. Second message: "Hey Chandler, it's Charlie" Chandler: This is..shhh! Second Message: "Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want." Monica: Oh God, I am so sorry honey... All: Oh, so sorry man! Sorry! Rachel: Oh, it is so unfair. It's like that time they promoted Sandra over me at work. Chandler: Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren? Rachel: No, she was just much better at job than me! Phoebe: Guys, the drawing is about to start! Rachel: (To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down. Ross: Oh yeah, it's a good idea! Monica: (she hugs Chandler) Honey, you've been really strong about this, I know how badly you wanted that job. Chandler: Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. (pause) But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right? Monica: (she draws out a ticket from a pocket of her pants) 131! (they kiss) Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel) Rachel: Hi mum, put her back on! Joey: (sitting on the sofa in front of the tv) Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers! My God, I can already feel myself changing. TV: "Here we are, the official Powerball numbers! We have 53" Chandler: I got that! Ross: Oh, we have one too!! Monica: We are on a roll, people!! Ross: (calling Rachel) Come on!! Rachel: (on the phone) Mum, please!I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you! Would you, please, just let me say goodnight to my daughter? TV: "And number 29! Here we go! The Powerball is 7" Monica: Check your numbers! Make me rich! Rachel: (she goes towards the others and she's very excited) Guys, you're not gonna believe this! I was just saying goodnight to Emma and she said her first words!! All: Wow! Joey: And what did she say? Rachel: She said "gleba"!! (she celebrates) (they just look at her for a moment; then they go back to checking the tickets) Monica: Make me rich!! Rachel: (to Ross) Isn't that amazing? Ross: Oh yeah, no no no...that's great! Rachel: Why-why aren't you more excited? Ross: Oh, Rach...oh..."gleba" is not a word. Rachel: Oh, but of course it is! Ross: Okay, what does it mean? Rachel: I don't know all the words. Ross: I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words (goes back to checking the tickets). Ross: Yes you did, gleba is a word! Ross: Ok, use it in a sentence. Rachel: Ok... "Emma just said gleba"! Ross: It's not a word! Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, fine, I'm gonna look it up (she goes and picks up the dictionary). Ross: Oh, oh, ok, great. You know what, while you're at it she said another word the other day, why don't you, why don't you look up: pbbqqt.... (Rachel glares at him) Rachel: (searching the dictionary) Alright, okay, okay, gleba, gleba... (excited) Gleba! Ha! Here it is: the fleshy, spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi. (Rachel shows Ross the definition on the dictionary, giving him a smug look; then she squints at the dictionary, as though unsure what to make out of it) Ross: She's gonna be a scientist! (kisses Rachel on the head, very moved) Joey: (checking the last ticket) Damnit! anybody got anything? Chandler: No. Phoebe: I'm still looking through mine... Monica: Just double checking (does so)...no, no, no...(takes off a shoe and takes a ticket out of it) No! (phone rings) Monica: (answering phone) Hello? Hold on. It's your boss. Chandler: Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call. I'm not used to getting it from guys. (on the phone, getting up from the sofa) Hey, Steve. Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant. Chandler: Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not too mature... farts, boobies, butt cracks! Steve: Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter. Chandler: Me, that guy who just said butt cracks? Steve: Yes, that's right. We're excited about the level of sophistication you'll be bringing to the job. Chandler: Ok well, thanks, you won't regret it. I'll see you tomorrow (hangs up). (he idly goes to the sofa, starts browsing a magazine. Everybody stares at him) Chandler: What? (pause) Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a junior copywriter. Everybody: (excited) Oh my God, congratulations! Monica: Oh sweetie, I'm so proud of you! Chandler: Does that mean I get the good loving tonight? Monica: You bet! No TV or anything! (she gets up from the sofa and goes to the kitchen area) Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job. Chandler: Thanks, man. Joey: And I like to think I had a little something to do with it. Chandler: Really? What? Joey: Well, before, with the wishbone... I didn't wish we would win the lottery, I wished you'd get the job. Chandler: (smiling, surprised) Oh yeah? (looks towards the kitchen, worried) Listen, don't tell Monica, she'll rip your heart right out. Joey: Oh yeah. Rachel: You know what? There is a little part of me that really thought we were gonna win. Ross: Me too. So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park. Phoebe: You guys, what was the Powerball number again? Monica and Ross: Seven. Phoebe: We won. Rachel: What? Phoebe: We won! Monica: Let me see! (they all jump up excitedly and try to see the ticket) Phoebe: Don't tear it. Ross: Phoebe, you don't have any of the first five numbers. Phoebe: I know that, but look, we've got the Powerball number, we've won 3 dollars! Chandler: Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout. Phoebe: (still very excited) I don't care, I've never won anything before, I can't believe this! Rachel: So Pheebs, what are you going to do with your $3? Phoebe: It's not all mine. We all get 50 cents. Monica: You know what? You can have mine. Chandler: Me too. Joey: Me too. Rachel: Me too. (they all look at Ross) Ross: I guess if everybody else is... Closing credits [Scene: Central Perk. They're all sitting there as usual, except Joey. gn is serving a nearby table.] (Joey comes in from the back of the coffee house) Joey: (sitting in a chair) Hey guys, so I just called the Powerball hotline, can you believe it? Nobody won. Phoebe: I beg to differ (shows him her cup of coffee and her plate of cookies). gn: Maybe nobody won the jackpot, but there was this guy in here earlier, and he found the ticket on the street, right outside, and won $10,000 (goes to the counter). (They all glare evilly at Phoebe) Phoebe: (hides her mouth behind the cup and speaks in the "pigeon voice" from before) Coo, again. Don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon, coo! (pause) Seriously, stop staring at her. (Joey stares around dumbly looking for the "talking pigeon")	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x18 - The One With The Lottery"}	foreverdreaming
Teleplay: Mark Kunerth Story: Dana Klein Directed by: Terry Hughes Transcribed by: Eleonora, Pheeboh, Sebastiano & Vanessa [Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment] Joey: (talking to a pineapple in his hand) God, you're beautiful...why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do. (Rachel comes out of her room and starts staring at him unseen) Joey: I want you.I need you.Let me make love to you. Rachel: I don't wanna stand in the way of true love or anything, but I think a canelope might hurt less. Joey: Oh, ehm...I'm...I'm rehearsing my lines.They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good! Rachel: Woow!I haven't seen you this worked up since you did that dog food commercial and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog! Joey: Yeah, that was a disappointment...(pause) Oh, hey!D'you want to come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing ok? Rachel: (excited) Are you serious? Joey: Yeah!Hey, you just have to promise not to get yourself thrown out again. Rachel: Hey, that was an honest mistake! Joey: Right!(he starts to ape her)"Oh my God, is this the men's room? Oh, I feel so foolish, have you always known you wanted to be an actor?" (he inclines his head as if to look at a man's private parts) Rachel: Yeah, that was an awesome day! Opening credits [Scene: Central Perk] Monica: Hey! Phoebe: Hey! Ross: Hi! Monica: So, do you guys wanna come and eat dinner at the restaurant sometime in the next few weeks? Phoebe: Sure! Ross: I'd love to! Monica: Well you can't! We're booked solid for the next month! Phoebe: Well, I can't give you a massage, because my licence has been revoked again! Ross: Phoebe, what happened? Phoebe: Well, it was an accident...You know, it's a lot of oil and sometimes the hand just slips! (Chandler enters) Chandler: (To Monica) Have I got a surprise for you? Pack your bags! Phoebe: Oh no!You guys aren't supposed to get divorced for 7 years! Chandler: What? No, I'm taking Monica to a romantic inn in Vermont (shows them a brochure)! Phoebe: Oh, good!Ok, good for you!Try to recapture the magic! Chandler: So, what do you say? Can you get out of work? Monica: Oh, honey!I can't. I was just telling these guys that things are crazy at the restaurant! Chandler: Are you really that busy? Monica: Yeah, I'm sorry. I really am. Chandler: Oh, that's ok.I'll just try and reschedule. (on the phone) "Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it (pause) Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? (pause) Oh, can't you make an exception?" Monica: Tell them I'm a chef in a big New York restaurant! Phoebe: And tell them that in 2 weeks I will once again be a masseuse in good standing! Chandler: (on the phone) "Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok?" (pause) "Oh, thank you very much!" (hangs up) Yeah, I'm going to Vermont... Ross: Oh, don't worry about it! Just use your travel insurance. Chandler: I don't have travel insurance. Ross: Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge! Monica: Why don't you take Ross? Ross: Uh, don't you think that would be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn... Monica: No, not if their room has two beds! Ross: (browsing the brochure) I guess...It still seems a little...(enthusiastically) moonlight boat ride!! [Scene: Days of Our Lives' Studios] Rachel: Hey Joey, is this the bed where Olivia lost her virginity? Joey: I don't know, but one of the extras sure did! (pause) Hey, listen Rach. Thanks again for coming down to watch my scenes! Rachel: Oh, please!Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm...OH MY GOD!Is that Christian Sanders?He's so gorgeous! Joey: Also so gay! Rachel: Oh, in my head he's done some pretty "not-gay-stuff"! Joey: Well, at the Christmas party him and Santa did some definitely gay stuff! Director: Joey, Joey! We're ready for you! Joey: Oh, wish me luck! Rachel: Ok, not that you need it but good...GOD!Is that Chase Lassiter?He's straight, right? Joey: Rach, I gotta say...if you weren't here wondering if these guys were gay I don't know if I could do this! Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry, you're right.I'm sorry, good luck! (they hug) Director: On a bell please! Quietly.. and ACTION! (the scene starts.Joey enters and there's a girl wearing a wedding dress near a bed) Actress/Olivia: Drake! What are you doing in here? Joey/Drake: Stopping you from marrying the wrong man and making the biggest mistake of your life. Actress/Olivia: Get out! Joey/Drake: You don't love him! Actress/Olivia: What do you know about love? Joey/Drake: I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge. Actress/Olivia: That kiss never happened. Joey/Drake: Oh, what about this one. (the actress slaps him) Rachel: (watching a television where the scene is shown, startled) OH! Actress/Olivia: No, I told you...get out! Joey/Drake: Fine. I'll go. But let me ask you one question... Chase Lassiter: (talking to Rachel) You look familiar, have we... Rachel: SSSHHHHTTT!!He's asking her a question!! Joey/Drake: Can you really live the rest of your life never knowing what we could have been? Actress/Olivia: I don't have a choice... Joey/Drake: Yes, you do.Yes...you do. I'm the one who doesn't have a choice because I...because I can't stop loving you. Actress/Olivia: Don't say that... Joey/Drake: Tell me to stop, just...tell me to stop. (he's about to kiss her) Director: CUT! Rachel: NO! (pause) Or, cut!You know, that's your call! [Scene: Monica's restaurant] 1st Customer: Everything was delicious! Monica: Thank you! 2nd Customer: It was. The duck in particular was superb. Monica: Thank you!(she looks at the 3rd customer waiting for a compliment) You haven't said anything... 3rd Customer: Actually I do have one small complaint. Monica: Oh..please!I-I welcome criticism. 3rd Customer: The musician right outside the restaurant...it's kind of a mood-kller! Monica: What musician? [Scene: Outside the restaurant] Phoebe: (playing guitar and singing) And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Olè! Monica: What are you doing here! Phoebe: Well, you said that you had customers lined up in the street, so I am here to entertain! Monica: Great! Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home". Monica: Listen Phoebe... Phoebe: Yeah. Monica: You know how much I love listening to your music, you know, but... Phoebe: But what? Monica: This is kind of a classy place. Phoebe: (pause) Ok, say no more. [Time lapse: Phoebe in front of restaurant again] Phoebe: (with a fancy dress, still playing and singing): It wasn't just that she was fat, the woman smelled like garbage! Everyone! It wasn't just that she was fat the woman smelled like garbaaaaaage! (to Monica, showing her dress) Classy, uh? (Monica covers her face with her hands) [Scene: hall of the romantic inn in Vermont] Chandler: Hi, Chandler Bing, I have a reservation. Receptionist: Welcome to the Chestnut Inn Mr. Bing, so where are you joining from? Chandler: New York. Ross: (in a strange voice and eating candies) The big apple! Chandler: I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up, we had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here. Ross: Yeah, I ate all my gifts for everybody. Receptionist: I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer. Chandler: Well, that's impossible, can you check again, please? Ross: (high pitched voice) Check again please! Receptionist: I'm sorry, it's not here. Ross: Not there. Chandler: Let me get this straight. I called yesterday trying to cancel my reservation and I was told it was not refundable, then we drove six hours all the way up here and now you tell me that we don't have a reservation? Receptionist: I don't know what to say. Ross: (mumbling) She doesn't know what to say! Chandler: Just give us the cheapest room you have. Receptionist: Unfortunatly the only thing we have available is our deluxe suite, the rate is six hundred dollars. Chandler: That's insane! Ross: Totally insane. Dude, let's drive home, we'll ht all the maple candy stores on the way back and if...if they're closed maybe we'll tap a tree and make some ourselves. Chandler: Does that room have a closet I can lock him in? (pause) We'll take it. Receptionist: Great. Chandler: (aside, to Ross) What!? They are totally ripping us off! Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six! Chandler: Great, at a hundred dollars an apple, we're there! Ross: C'mon, you get the idea, ow-ow-ow we'll make our money back in no time! Chandler: Dude, you're shaking! Ross: I think it's the sugar, could you hold the apple? [Scene: Joey's apartment] Rachel: Hi! Joey: Hey! Rachel: Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing! Joey: Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me! Rachel: God, you have to tell me what happens tomorrow! Joey: Ow, I'm just going over the script now! You wanna read lines with me? Rachel: Me? Oh, no, I am not an actress. Joey: Oh, all right, I can ask Monica. Rachel: Oh screw her, that part is mine! Joey: Right... (pause) ok, so just from the top of the page, right here. Rachel: Okay. (pause).(acting) Hello Drake, I'm surprised to see you here. Joey/Drake: I can't believe you married him. Rachel/actress: But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon! Joey/Drake: So what about us? Everything we feel for each other. Rachel/actress: It's over! You have to accept that. Joey/Drake: How can I? Knowing I'll never hold you in my arms again, or touch your skin, or feel your lips, knowing I'll never make love to you? How can I accept that... I can never kiss you again when it's all I can do not to kiss you right now. Rachel: (pause) Kiss me. Joey: What? Rachel: Kiss me. Joey: Ah, Rach, it doesn't say that! Rachel: No, I'm saying... Joey: but, but.. Rachel: just... don't talk... (she kisses him) [Scene: Rachel's bedroom] Rachel: (waking up) Ehhh, aw! (pause). Well, that's new! [Scene: Hotel's room] Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons. (Chandler enters the room) Ross: What did you get? Chandler: USA Today Ross: Nice, put it with the others. Chandler: And I also got... two more apples. Ross: We are four short of a bush-o (pause). God I feel so alive, I love being in the country! Chandler: I also got this great salt and pepper shaker from the restaurant. Ross: Oh, that's not cool. Chandlers: Dude, none of this is cool. Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through. Chandler: I think I know what you mean though...the lamp is the hotel's, but the bulbs (goes to take the bulb)...oh, you already got that. Ross: Not my first time in a hotel, my friend. Chandler: Ok, how about this (picks up the remote control)? Ross: No, no, no, you can't take the remote control! Chandler: Yes, but the batteries... (Ross claps his hands) Chandler: Thank you, thank you very much! Ross: Let's celebrate with some maple candy! Chandler: No! Ross: At least tell me where you hid it. [Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the sofa] Rachel: Can I ask you a question? Monica: Yeah. Rachel: Have you ever had any weird romantic dreams? Monica: Let me think. Oh, when I was younger I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese, and on our wedding night I ate his head. Rachel: Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey. Monica: Wow, do you mean like kiss him-kiss him? Rachel: Oh yeah! I mean, that was pretty intense. Monica: What do you think brought than on? Rachel: I don't know! I mean, maybe that's something to do with the fact that I saw him do a love scene yesterday. Monica: A love scene? With who? Rachel: Olivia. Monica: Olivia? I thought she was marrying Connor! (pause) Oh right, real life more important. Rachel: So do you think that my dream means anything? Monica: I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake. Rachel: Ah! Well it was Joey reading Drake's lines in the dream... Monica: Of course it was! Trust me, when it comes to psychology I know what I'm talking about. I took two psych classes in college. Rachel: You took the same class twice. Monica: It was hard! (Phoebe comes in) Phoebe: Hey! Rachel and Monica: Hi. Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man. Monica: Oh...Phoebe? Maybe I wasn't clear before. I really love listening to your music here, but my restaurant is sort of an upscale place. Phoebe: Right, yeah, ok, I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault. Monica: Phoebe, it's not what you wear. It's sort of your songs... I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore. Phoebe: Oh, ok. Fine, I'll just, I'll take the hat back (she puts the hat in a bag and she crushes it angrily on the floor with her foot). (silence) Rachel: Hey, so you guys, the funniest thing happened, at work... Phoebe: My songs aren't good enough for your restaurant? Rachel: Ok, we're still on that. Monica: I didn't say your songs were not good enough. Phoebe: Then what's wrong with them? Would they not go with your tiny portions of pretentious food? Monica: Tiny portions? Phoebe: Yeah well, "excuse me, I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but (peering through her spectacles) I can't see it, I can't see it"! Monica: Phoebe, it's not about quantity. Phoebe: Well...it's not about quality. Monica: Oh really, you want to talk about quality? Have you heard of a key? It's what some people sing in. Phoebe: Well at least all my songs don't taste like garlic. Yeah, there are other ingredients Monica. Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs. Phoebe: Ear plugs, or cloves of garlic? Monica: You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy. Phoebe: What are people having, the garlic Martini? [Scene: Hotel's reception] Receptionist: Here's your copy of the bill, we hope you enjoyed your stay. Chandler: Oh we did, and you still have all your lamps. (the receptions is puzzled. She goes in the back.) Chandler: Oh, I didn't factor in the room tax. Ross: Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game. (they make as if to go, but Ross notices something) Ross: Oh my god. Chandler: What? Ross: There's something new in the bowl. Chandler: Look, we have enough, just walk away. Ross: No, but I want...I want the pinecones! Chandler: There's a forest right outside. Ross: It's not the same. Chandler: Ok, go quick! (Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops) Ross: (to the receptionist) Thank you for a delightful stay. (he picks up the suitcase, which falls open, revealing all the stuff they have taken from the hotel. The receptionist just looks at them.) Ross: Oh, my maple candy! [Scene: In front of Monica's restaurant. Phoebe is playing] Phoebe: (singing) Food here at 'Javu'..will kll you..the food here at 'Javu' ...will kll you.. (Monica comes out) Monica: Thank god, it's just you! I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall. Phoebe: You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic is not gonna overuse itself. Monica: Ok, you have to stop playing now. Phoebe: Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you! Monica: Oh yeah? Ok, let's settle this, come on! Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me! Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands) Phoebe: Ok, ok, how many of you enjoyed the music outside? (a few people raise their hands) Ha! Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again). Phoebe: Ok, well, who identified the tone of this restaurant as pretentious comma garlicky? Monica: Ok who thinks the food is delicious and a little pretention never hurt anyone? (a few raise their hands) Phoebe: Ok, well, alright, who thinks the food is fine, the music was fine, but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll taking? (all raise their hands). Monica: Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand) Phoebe: Oh...Who was so stupid and stubborn that she lashed out against her friend's cooking which she actually thinks is pretty great! (raises her hand) Monica: I'm sorry... Phoebe: I'm sorry too... (they hug) Monica: ooohh... hey! Wanna stick around and I'll whip you up some dinner? Phoebe: Yeah! As long as it's free! Food here is ridiculously over-p... (Monica seems to take it amiss) Phoebe: (smiling, raising her hand) Who's hoping the hand raising thing is still cute enough that you won't hate me? [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Rachel walks in] Rachel: Hey! Joey: Hey! Rachel: Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head? Joey: (Touches the back of his head and licks his fingers) Oh man! I thought I got it all! Rachel: (looks puzzled) How...how...? Joey: I was making a peanut butter smoothy, right? Rachel: uh-huh Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very! Rachel: (to herself) Wow...definitely just Drake... Joey: What? Rachel: What...how is it going with Drake? Joey: Oh...I don't think it's going very well... Rachel: What...that scene I saw was so good! Joey: Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we are sh*ting tomorrow... Rachel: Joey, is this that thing that you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment? Joey: A little. Yeah no, I really am worried, you know, I mean I have to make it convincing that I'm in love with Olivia. Rachel: So? Joey: So...I've never played that! Rachel: Ooh! Honey, it can't be that hard, I mean, you've been in love before? Joey: Uh...well...just once...with you... Rachel: Ok...this could be a little awkward...I'm just going to blow past it... well can't you just use that method actor thing where you use your real life memories to help you in your performance? Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about?? Rachel: (shakes her head) Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene. Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was klling me. Rachel: (looks touched) Joey, you never..you never talked about that before... Joey: Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? (In a romantic voice) And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she...is... beautiful... (Rachel looks very moved) and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you (pauses, while looking at her with sentiment) but it was worth it just to be there looking at you. (Joey and Rachel continue to look at each other in silence for a while) Joey: (excited) Thanks dude!!!This is GREAT!! (leaves Rachel very touched on the couch and goes into his room) Closing credits [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartement, Monica is at the kitchen table writing something and Chandler enters kitchen area] Chandler: I got you something from Vermont! (Sits down at the table) Monica: (without looking up from what she's doing) Besides tampons and salt? (Then looks) Ooh! My God! Maple candy! That's so sweet of you. (Opens the box) That's weird...it's empty! (Then Ross enters) Ross: (sounds excited) Hi you guys! what's going on, you... you guys wanna hang out...or...? (Looks around the room nervously) do you...do you guys hear a buzzing?	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x19 - The One With Rachel's Dream"}	foreverdreaming
Teleplay: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Story: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Directed by: Sheldon Epps Transcribed by: Eleonora, Pheeboh, Sebastiano & Vanessa [Scene: Monica's apartment] Joey: (enters the room) Hey, you guys, what are you doing tomorrow night? Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Well, let me see... I-I believe I'm... yes, falling asleep in front of the TV. Joey: Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play. Chandler: I could fall asleep at a play. Phoebe: What is it? Joey: It's a one-woman play called "Why don't you like me: a bitter woman's journey through life". Monica: It sounds interesting! Ross: Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett... (Ross starts snoring, faking to fall asleep) Phoebe: I know, I know, we can drive, we can vote, we can work, what more do these broads want? Joey: You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise! Ross: What? How come that you don't have to go! Joey: I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want. Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Uh, let's see, who do I hate? Rachel: (gets up from the sofa and moves to the kitchen but Joey blocks her way) Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry. Joey: (lifts Rachel up and moves her behind him so she can walk on) Hey, here you go. Rachel: Ooh... oooh... (pause) (Rachel is all bah-jiggity about Joey) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question? Monica: Yeah. Rachel: Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around and... and not have it be a big deal? Monica: No, I don't think it ever works. Why? Rachel: No reason. Monica: No, no, Rachel? Rachel: Yeah Monica: Who do you wanna fool around with? Rachel: (with high pitched voice) Nobody, forget it! (Monica points at Joey, Rachel turns and sees him) Rachel: (giggling and whispering) Maybe. Monica: (whispering) You can't! Rachel: (whispering) Why? (Monica gesticulates mumbling something that starts with "because") Seriously I did not understand a word that you said. Monica: In the hall. [Scene: In the hall] Monica: You wanna fool around with Joey? Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time! Monica: Who? Who do you know that are friends that just fool around? Rachel: Ok, off the top of my head... Don and Janet. Monica: Who, who are they? Rachel: I know them from work. Monica: Both of them? Rachel: No, one of them... Monica: Which one? Rachel: I don't know, what were the names I just said? Monica: Rachel, things can get incredibly complicated. Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment) Monica: What the hell are you cooking! Opening credits [Scene: Central Perk, Ross enters] Ross: Hey! Monica: Hey! Chandler: Hey! Ross: Hey, you guys won't believe what I have to do for work today. Chandler: Yes, but, Ross you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs. Ross: (covering with his hand Chandler's face, like pretending he's not there) (to Monica) There're these two professors who are joining my department and I have to meet them here and show them around campus. Monica: What's so bad about that? Ross: It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches. Monica: (fingering her elbow): Ross? Ross: (looking his elbow, where there's a patch) These aren't suede. (a woman walks in) Charlie: (to gn) Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller? gn: No. Ross: Hi, hi, I'm Ross Geller. Charlie: Oh, hi. I'm professor Wealer. Ross: Oh, oh, that's, that's, that's nice. Charlie: It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so much for taking the time out to show me around. Ross: Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out. Monica: (to Chandler) Is he gonna introduce us? Chandler: (to Monica) No, I think we're just blurry shapes to him now. Charlie: And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis. Ross: Oh, ha, I wrote that in one minute. Monica: (to chandler) Twenty bucks says they're married within the month. Ross: (hitting Monica with his suitcase) (to Charlie) We should probably get going, you know, we got a lot of ground to cover. Charlie: Oh, ah, isn't there another professor that is supposed to come with us? Ross: I don't think so. Charlie: I'm pretty sure, professor Spafford from Cornell? Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we? Charlie: You don't think we should wait for him? Ross: You know what, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll find us, ok? Professor Spafford: Professor Geller? Ross: Oh, damn it! [Scene: Joey's apartment] (Rachel enters the room and checks the answering machine) Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye. Joey: (entering the room) Hey! Rachel: Hey! Joey: What's happenin'? Rachel: Yeah, it's a real shame you can't make it to that one-woman show tonight. Joey: Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first Rachel: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah... (she plays the answering machine) Message: "Hi Joey, it's Jane Rogers can't wait for your party tonight" (Joey's upset and stops it) Joey: (yelling) Stupid Jane Rogers!! Rachel: (angry) You are having a party tonight?? Joey: Kinda have a... a thing for the Days Of Our Life's people. Rachel: And you weren't going to tell us? How did you think you were gonna get away with that? Joey: I do it every year. Rachel: You do that every year?? Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!! Rachel: Oh, that's why you got these tickets to that play, to get rid of us?? Joey: Yeah... Rachel: And last year is that why you sent us to that medieval times restaurant? Joey: Yeah... Rachel: OH! And the year before that, when you set up that nighttime tour of that button factory? Joey: (Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one! Rachel: Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties? Joey: You're fine, ok? But everyone else acts like an idiot around famous people! Rachel: Well, then so you just invite me...! Joey: (speaking aloud) Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one! Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please... Joey: Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8. Rachel: (yelling and jumping like a child) OH, a soap opera roof party!! I'm going to a soap opera roof party!! Oh my God, oh my God!! (realizing how she's behaving) And it's out of my system! [Scene: Ross, Charlie and Professor Spafford are sitting at the table in a restaurant] Professor Spafford: (speaking very slowly) And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish. Ross: (very bored, he tries to avoid the conversation speaking to Charlie) So, where did you get your undergraduate degree? Professor Spafford: And that's not all I'm allergic to. Ross: (to Charlie) Oh, it's not over! Professor Spafford: I'm also allergic to peanuts, and cashews, and almonds, and filberts... Ross: So basically all nuts? Professor Spafford: Interestingly... no. Charlie: Kinda playing fast and loose with the word "interesting". Professor Spafford: If you'll excuse me I'm going to use the restroom. (he goes away) Charlie: Oh my God!! Ross: I've lost the will to live. Charlie: Let's ditch him! Ross: What? Charlie: Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you! Ross: Oh... ok, fine. But... ehm... I just have one question for you, ehm... (aping Professor Spafford) When we exit should we walk, or run, or prance, or stroll... Charlie: Stop it, stop it! He talks slow but he might pee fast! Ok, let's go!! (they run outside) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment] Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica. Phoebe: Hi! Ross: Yeah, Charlie is gonna be joining my department. Phoebe: Oh, you're a paleonthologist, too! (pause) Oh, ok, now, what do you think of Ranion's new theory of species' variegation in segmented arthopods? Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas... Phoebe: Ah, ah. Charlie: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take this. Excuse me. (she cuts herself off for a moment) Ross: (to Phoebe) Ranion's theory of species variegation? Phoebe: Yeah, I saw the article on your coffee table and I memorized the title to freak you out! Monica: (to Ross) So, did you two have fun? Ross: Oh my God, she's great! I mean, we-we have so much in common and she's just cool, and funny... Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI! Rachel: (she enters wearing a bath-robe) Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feeling really well. I think I can't get out for the play. Ross: Really? Wh-what's wrong? Rachel: I don't know! I think it's kind of serious! Oh, you know... I was watching this thing on TV this morning about... Newcastle disease... and I think I might have it!! Charlie: Oh, Newcastle disease is a secretion borne virus that only affects chickens and... other poultry. Rachel: ... Ok, who is this? Ross: I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue. Rachel: Oh, hi! I would check your hand but... I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease! Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec? Rachel: Sure! (Monica takes her apart) Oh... Monica: You're not sick! Rachel: What? Yes, I am! Monica: Ok, then, why are you... (she opens her robe revealing a nice black dress) all dressed up?? Rachel: When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better! (she closes her robe) Monica: You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey! Rachel: Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is! Monica: Ok, what is this? Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you! Monica: (aloud) WHAT? Ross: (looking at them) Wh-what's going on? Monica: Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof! Rachel: And he didn't want you guys to know about it but I came over here to tell you!! Charlie: I thought you came to say you were sick. Rachel: Ok professor or detective? Phoebe: Joey's having a party and he wasn't gonna invite us? Rachel: Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory! Phoebe: And that horrible museum tour! Ross: No, I arranged that... (Joey enters, wearing a bathrobe) Joey: (sounds tired) Hey you guys, I'm turning in. Have fun. Phoebe: We know about your party Joey. Joey: What party? Monica: The game's over! Take off your robe! Joey: (looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean... Everyone: No!! Cover it up!! Joey: (to Charlie after covering himself up again) Nice to meet ya! (Charlie waves hesitantly and Joey leaves) [Scene: The Roof] Joey: (To some people) Hey! Hey alright! Hey, glad you could make it (Shakes a man's hand) Thanks for coming. Monica: Oh my God! Kyle Lowder! Kyle Lowder: (to Monica) Hi. (walks on) Monica: (Yells after him) I love you! Joey: Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something... Monica: Oh yeah that's what you want - my inhibitions lowered. Phoebe: Hey! Monica: (Excited) Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself. Phoebe: Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? (Looks around) Monica: (Shocked) Oh my God! Chandler! [Scene: The theater. Chandler is sitting in the otherwise empty front row, looking around nervously] Chandler: Where the hell is everybody? (The lights dim and Chandler tries to get away but as the bitter lady comes on stage and starts yelling he promptly changes his mind and sits down) Bitter lady: (yelling) Why don't you like me?! Chapter One: My first period. [Scene: The Roof, Rachel is talking to a guy who hands her a tissue with something written on it] Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love". Rachel: Ok actually Mon, Matthew was just giving me his phone number. Monica: Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married! Matthew Ashford: It was nice to meet you Rachel. Rachel: Nice to meet you. Matthew Ashford: Call me. Rachel: Ok (Matthew leaves) Monica: (yelling after him) We will!! Monica: (to Rachel) Look at you with all the guys! Rachel: Yeah! Monica: I guess you have forgotten all about Joey? Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler! Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather) (cut to Ross and Charlie) Ross: (to Charlie) So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh? Charlie: Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone. Ross: Ooh... so sad... Still, it can't be easy for you to leave Harvard? Especially after working alongside a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer? Charlie: Actually, Alby is the guy I broke up with. Ross: You... you dated Albert Wintermeyer? Charlie: Yeah... Ross: ... And you called him Alby!? (laughs) I mean that's like... like calling Albert Einstein... er... Alby... Charlie: Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man. Ross: Eh, you think? I mean, you went out with a guy who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10! Charlie: Yes! And while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend, he had a lot of issues... Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood". Charlie: Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him. Ross: Who is intimidating to a guy who won the Nobel Prize? Charlie: A guy who won two. Ross: (a little suprised) Two? Wha...? Don't tell me you dated Benjamin Hobart Charlie: Yeah... for three years. Ross: Oh my God! Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who hasn't won the Nobel Prize? Charlie: (smiling and thinks for a moment)... no... bu but there was my first boyfriend Billy. Ross: Oh yeah? no, no Nobel Prizes for him? Charlie: No, but he did just win the McArthur genius grant. Ross: Huh... huh... what a loser! Some more wine? (takes the half-full glasses and goes to the counter) Phoebe: Hey Ross! Rache: How is it going with Charlie? Ross: (sarcastically) Oh Great! After I finish my wine I'm going to blow my... eh. average-sized brains out. Phoebe: Oh, What's the matter? Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth. Rachel: I always loved that!! Ross: Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God! Phoebe: Worse? Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that? Phoebe: (still laughing) No. (points to Rachel who stuck two straws in her mouth to look like a mammoth's tusks) Ross: What? (turns around to look at Rachel) Rachel: Come on! I think this is funny! (Ross leaves) [Scene: Chandler in the theater] Bitter lady: Well, I bet you are all thinkin' "Now would be a really great time for an intermission", huh? Chandler: (To himself) oh yes, God yes!! Bitter lady: (now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?! Chandler: I... I don't know... you seem lovely. [Scene: The roof, Joey is walking towards Ross with a guy] Joey: Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. (To Dirk) Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. (Ross and Dirk shake hands) Ross: Nice to meet you. Dirk: Hey! So what show are you on? Ross: Oh, I'm no actor, I'm a professor of palaeontology. (Dirk is confused) Joey: It's a science. Dirk: Oh! Hey well listen, I play a scientist on "Days". And my character has just won the Nobel prize. (Ross looks annoyed hearing that even Dirk's character won a Nobel prize) Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or... Ross: Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys. Dirk: Hey, I got a 690 on my SATs. Ross: I'd lead with that. (Cut to Monica holding up her shirt, revealing her bra. An actor stands beside her, holding a pen in his hand.) Monica: That's it, just sign right on the bra (the actor does so). Joey: Monica! Monica: Don't worry Joe, I won't come next year! (Joey, resigned, walks to Rachel's table) Joey: (To Rachel) What have you got there? Ross: Just some boys gave me their phone numbers. Joey: Ah, let me see! (she hands him a pile of tissues) Damn, that's a lot of guys! Are you a little slutty? Rachel: (drunken voice) I think I am. Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different. (Rachel is puzzled) Joey: (discarding all the remaining tissues one by one) Pass, pass, oh, pass, double-pass, pass... Rachel: (picking up the tissues) Why, why, what's wrong with these guys? Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best. Rachel: Joey, you're so sweet. Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight. Rachel: Who (looks around)? (Joey motions for Rachel to lean in. She does so.) Joey: Me. Rachel: (surprised) What? (with a nervous smile) Really? Joey: Yes, 'cause we live together, that's a joke! Rachel: Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! (they high-five) Joey: Gotcha. Rachel: Oh, Very funny... Joey. (Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.) (Chandler walks in) Chandler: (to Monica) So, how did you enjoy the play? Monica: Oh my god, honey, I'm so so so so so sorry. Chandler: Well you should be. You missed the most powerful three hours in the history of the theater. Monica: You really liked it? Chandler: Oh yeah! I mean at first I hated it, but why wouldn't I, because as a man I've been trained (bitter woman's tone) not to listen! (pause) But after chapter 16: "fat, single and ready to mingle", I was uplifted. Monica: Oh really! Chandler: Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period! Monica: No! Chandler: Did somebody sign your bra? Monica: So I got it when I was 13... [Scene: At the counter. Ross is sitting there, drinking. Phoebe approaches him.] Phoebe: Hey Ross! So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl, are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel prizes scare you off? What is that, come on, a piece of paper? Ross: It's actually a 1,000,000$ prize. Phoebe: Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd. Ross: Yeah, maybe. I do have my whole career in front of me. I mean, I can still win a Nobel prize. Although the last two papers I've written were widely discredited. Phoebe: You're so much more than just brains! You're sweet, and kind, and funny... Ross: And sexy. Phoebe: Ok well give her a chance to see all of that! Ross: Yeah, you're right, thanks Pheebs, I'm gonna go find her. Phoebe: Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch! Ross: Stop going through my stuff (walks away)! (Rachel approaches Monica) Rachel: (to Monica) Hey! Monica: Hey! Rachel: I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey. Monica: No, you can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea. Rachel: Please, what about you and Chandler? Monica: That's different! I was drunk and stupid! Rachel: Well hello (points to herself)! Monica: What about all the guys that you've got the phone numbers from? Why don't you just kiss one of them? Rachel: I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey! Monica: Alright (shrugs). I think it's a big mistake but it's your decision. Rachel: (pause) I'm gonna do it. Monica: And I can't stop you. Rachel: No. (Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.) Ross: (to Rachel) Hey Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere? (Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.) Ross: I'm smarter than him! Closing credits [Scene: The theater. Monica, Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the first line] Phoebe: Hey, thank you so much for these tickets, Chandler. Chandler: Oh well, this was a really important experience for me, and I wanted to share it with you. Monica: Oh, you're so wonderful. Bitter woman: Why don't you like me! Chapter one: my first period. Chandler: Can't believe you guys bought that, enjoy your slow death (runs away).	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x20 - The One With The Soap Opera Party"}	foreverdreaming
Teleplay: Robert Carlock Story: Scott Silveri Directed by: Gary Halvorson Transcribed by: Eleonora, Pheeboh, Sebastiano & Vanessa [Scene: Central Perk] Monica: It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie. Ross: Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE! Chandler: I missed most of the party (pause) Charlie's a girl, right? Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss. Rachel: I don't know why Joey had to kiss her! I mean, of all the girls at the party, GOD! Ross: Why do you care so much? Monica: Yes Rachel, why do you care so much? Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common. Ross: Oh, I don't know, they seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils... Phoebe: Wow, Joey and a professor! Can you imagine if they had kids and if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism... Oh, those nerds will get laaaaaid! Rachel: All right, so... Ross, you're ok with all this? I mean... Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. I mean, I just met her and I'm fine with it... (Joey and Charlie enter. Ross looks at her) Ross: Oh, God. I forgot how hot she was! Joey: Hey! All: Hi! Ross: I'm gonna get some more coffee. Charlie: Oh, you know what? I'll come with you! Ross: Ok. (they both go) Chandler: (to Joey) So, a professor, uh? Joey: Yeah! She is cool, and she's so smart! Her mind is totally acrimonious (which, being Joey, he mispronounces "amonious"). (pause) That's not how she used it...? Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me. Ross: Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people. Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral... Ross: Yeah, I know the type. Joey: Hey, if you wanna grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close? Opening credits [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment] Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Monica: Hey! Phoebe: Hey you guys! Look what I just got. (she shows them a pair of slippers) Rachel: Oh, OH! Wow, I love those! Where did you get them? Phoebe: I bought them off Ebay! They used to belong to the late Shania Twain. Rachel: (after a pause) Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive! Phoebe: Oh... then I overpaid. (she goes to the bathroom) Monica: Hey, what's this? Rachel: Oh, it's a gift certificate to this new SPA in SOHO. Monica: Oh, you can't show Phoebe this! She hates those corporate massage chains. Rachel: Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting... Monica: Do you wanna go hunting? Rachel: Well, I would like to have the option!! Phoebe: (coming back from the bathroom) What's up? (she sees the gift certificate in Rachel's hands) Hey, Rachel!! Rachel: Oh! Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business! Monica: And she wants to go hunting, too!! Rachel: Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing away a hundred bucks! Phoebe: Ok, this is not about the MONEY, ok? It's about... it's about corporate greed destroying our hearts and leaving us... the hollow shells. Rachel: I don't care about any of that!! Phoebe: Well, do you care about friendship? Rachel: Oh! Phoebe: I feel really strongly about this, Rachel. Please, don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend. Rachel: Oh, not as a friend, Phoebe!! Fine, I won't use it! Phoebe: Promise? Rachel: I promise. Phoebe: Thank you. (she tears up the gift certificate) Rachel: But I am going hunting!! [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment] Monica: (entering) Hey honey! I missed you today! Chandler: Oh, yeah? Monica: Yeah. (they kiss) What d'you wanna do tonight? Chandler: Oh, well... Maybe we could... (he sweeps the stuff off the table and wordlessly invites Monica to have sex on it) Monica: Ok, trying to turn me on by making a mess? Know your audience! Besides, tomorrow we're doing those fertility tests and until then you need to keep your tadpoles in the tnk. Chandler: We really need to take those tests? Monica: Honey, we've been trying to have a baby for over a year. I think it's a good idea to find out if everything's ok. Just a few routine tests. Chandler: But I don't wanna do it in a cup! Monica: What is the big deal? Chandler: It's weird! In a doctor's office? Monica: It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell? Chandler: (embarrassed) I cannot believe Ross told you that! (pause) And in my defense, it was a Wendy's! Monica: Look, I don't wanna do this test either, but I really do think it's a good idea! Chandler: Yeah, ok. I'm sure that doctor's office can't be worst than on a class trip to the Hershey's factory! Monica: (really embarrassed) OH! Chandler: Oh, yeah! RACHEL TALKS TOO! [Scene: Joey's apartment] Joey: (sipping red wine from a glass) Who says that wine has to cost more than milk! (somebody knocks the door, Joey opens and it's Charlie) Joey: Heeey! Charlie: Hi! Joey: Come on in, how are ya? Charlie: I'm good! Joey: Can I offer you a drink? Charlie: Please, I've been crazed all day! I had a meeting with the Dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the Foreword for a friend's book... Joey: Uh-oh. I hade a pretty hectic day at work too, today I had to open a door and go (looking scared) ohhhh! Charlie: So I am just so excited to be here. And I can't wait to start exploring the city! Joey: Hey, if you need a tour guide... (point to himself) Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun! Joey: Yeah, definitely, definitely. Ok, what do you wanna see first? Charlie: Oh, well, we can go see the Chronos Quartet at the Avery Fisher Hall. Joey: (looking puzzled and nodding) Ok! Charlie: And there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library. Joey: I know, yeah! Charlie: And first, I have to see the MET! Joey: Ok, let me stop you right there. The Mets suck, ok? You wanna see the Yankees. Charlie: No, no, no, not the Mets, the MET, singular! Joey: Which one, they all suck! Charlie: The museum! Joey: (looking puzzled) I don't think so. [Scene: SPA massage center, Rachel enters] Rachel: (to the receptionist) Hi there! Receptionist: (in an affected tone) Hello, welcome to Lavender Day Spa SPA. How may I help you? Rachel: Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate. Receptionist: This has been torn up. Rachel: And... taped back together. Receptionist: Ok well, I'll call you as soon as your massage therapist is ready. Rachel: Ok Receptionist: Have a seat through the glass doors. Rachel: (imitating the receptionist's tone) through the glass doors. Receptionist: Through the glass doors. Rachel: Alright-y then. (Phoebe enters the hall) Receptionist: Phoebe, your next client's in the waiting room. Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me? Receptionist: Sorry, everyone is booked! Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are. Receptionist: Then why you work here? Phoebe: 'Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine! Receptionist: Well, I think this is a great place to work! Phoebe: (watching around and whispering) Ok, are they listening? [Scene: Central Perk] (Joey walks in and moves towards Ross, who's sitting of the sofa) Joey: Ross! Ross: Hi! Joey: I need to talk to you about Charlie. Ross: (annoyed) Oh, do you, do you really? Joey: Yeah, I'm... I'm kind of having a little problem. Ross: Look, if you don't know what the word "acrimonious" means, just don't use it! Joey: No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo... Ross: Get to the problem! Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid! Ross: (looking down) Are you wearing two belts? Joey: (checking) EH, what do you know! Ross: You were saying you didn't want to seem stupid. Joey: Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out! Ross: You know, I really don't want to get involved in you guy's relationship. Joey: Please, c'mon, you're the smartest person I know and I really like this girl, ok, I don't wanna lose her. Ross: (after a short hesitation) Fine. Joey: Thanks. Ross: Ok. Let's see. Oh, you should take her to the MET! Joey: The Metsss! Ross: Oh, no! The MET! The Metropolitan Museum of Art. Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion! Ross: Yeah, most of it it's a place packed with confused angry baseball fans! Joey: Ok, all right, so I'll take her to the MET. Ross: Yeah, uh, uh, ok, there's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue. You know what? She loves architecture, you know what you should do? You should take a walk down fifth to the Saint Patrick's Cathedral and there there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love. Joey: Geez, sounds like you should be going on this date! Ross: But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food... Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, you go way too fast. Ok? Just go back to the MET, ok? Ross: Ok. Joey: You got to tell me exactly what to do there. Ross: Ok, when you walk in the museum, take the right, that's the antiquities wing. Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire. Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right (and he bends his arm to the left. Ross then bends Joey's arm to the right and Joey nods) [Scene: doctor's waiting room] Chandler: I have a weird feeling about this place. (pause) How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet. Monica: Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that. (a nurse walks in) Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container. Chandler: Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it. Monica: Hey, honey, my test is down the hall, are you sure you're going to be ok? Chandler: Yeah, I guess! Monica: I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares! No one here even knows you! Janice: OH MY GOD!! Chandler: Oh, Come on! Commercial Break Janice: Ah ahahahhahaa! How great is this! Monica: Hey, we're probably fertile, let's go home! Chandler: Why are you here? Janice: Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently we... Chandler: (to Heaven) No no no... I mean, why? why is she here?? Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand). Chandler: What!? (Janice does her "Janice Laugh") Monica: This was fun! But I've got an invasive vaginal exam to get to! (leaves) Chandler: I'd love to stay, but I have eh... (points at the cup) got a hot date... (starts to leave) Janice: Please... go! (Then shouts after him) Just let me know if you need a hand! Chandler: (disgusted) I think it just fell off. (Leaves) [Scene: At the Spa, Phoebe is at the half-opened door] Phoebe: (In a strange heavy accent) Hello "ja", it's time for your massage, ja! Put your face in the hole. Rachel: Wow, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person. (Puts her head in the hole and Phoebe enters) Phoebe: Okay, then I'm Swedish... Monica: So, what's your name? Phoebe: It's a normal Swedish name... Ikea... Rachel: Oh... what an interesting name. Phoebe: Ja! Rachel: You know I... (lifts her head and tries to look in Phoebe's direction) Phoebe: (pushes her head back down) Time for your scalp massage! Rachel: (Sees Phoebe's slippers through the hole) Wow... I really love your... (startled as she realizes those are Phoebe's slippers) Phoebe: Is something wrong? Rachel: No, it's just that uhm... it feels so good... Ikea... (pause) Yeah, say hey, you'll know this, what's the capital of Sweden? Phoebe: (Thinks for a few moments) Uhm... Stockholm. Rachel: Damn! I wish I knew if that was right! [Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Ross in the living room, rehearsing what Joey will say to Charlie in the Museum] Joey: (gesturing at an imaginary painting) Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas. Monet painted quickly and usually outdoors as his elusive subject was light itself. Ross: Now, do you have any idea what you just said? Joey: (shaking his head as if to say: of course not!) No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks! Ross: Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you. Joey: Phonetically? (Looks confused) Ross: Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this. Joey: Ok. Ross: Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly! Joey: Ah! I'm an actor! I can memorize anything! Last week on "Days" I had to say "Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy". Ross: Wow. What does that mean? Joey: No idea! But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so I guess it means "you're gonna get eaten by a bear". Ross: Ok! So let's move on to the Renaissance? Joey: Ok, Caravaggio uses chiaroscuro here to highlight the anguish of the central figure. Touch it, it's really bumpy! (Reaches out to touch the imaginary painting). Ross: Nah ah! Nah ah! (stops him form doing so) No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings. Joey: Come on! you... (reaches out to touch the imaginary painting again) Ross: No! (Slaps his hand) [Scene: The Fertility Clinic; Chandler walks out one of the rooms] Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone? Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow prn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit? Chandler: Yeah! yeah... The hard part is over! Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results? Chandler: I haven't... I haven't even thought about the results yet... I just assumed that everything was gonna be ok. Janice: Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is. Chandler: (Slightly panicky) Yeah, but what if it's not? What if there is a reason why we can't have a baby? Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine. Chandler: (smiling again) oh, oh, yeah, ok, thanks. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. I guess I was just so worried about having to... come here and do... 'that'... Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office? Chandler: (stares at her intently, then yells) It was a "Wendy's!! " [Scene: Phoebe and Rachel at the Spa. Phoebe is still massaging Rachel] Phoebe: (Singing) "Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! " And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! (looks annoyed) Rachel: Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse. Phoebe: Oh, Ja! Ja! Rachel: Yah! She's... uhm... not very good though... (Phoebe looks devastated) Phoebe: Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is? Rachel: I don't know... maybe it's because she has got such callousy fingers from playing crummy guitar... Phoebe: Or... maybe she has trouble loosening your knots because you're such a high maintenance tight ass! Rachel: (now lifts her head) Phoebe!! Phoebe: You know it's me? Rachel: For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden! Phoebe: How can you come here? Rachel: How could you not tell me you worked here? Phoebe: I don't have to tell you everything! Rachel: Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage! Phoebe: Tips not included. Rachel: Oh! Phoebe, why did you lie to me about working here? Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes! Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any! Phoebe: You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back! Rachel: Good for you Pheebs! Phoebe: Ok. Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you. [Scene: Central Perk. Ross is playing some sh*t'em up game on his laptop] Ross: Haha! Got ya! Die, die, die! (Charlie walks in.) Ross: (recovers his composure and starts typing) Respectfully, professor R. Geller. (hits <return>, closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey! Charlie: Hi! Ross: Hey, how was the Met? Charlie: The museum was amazing! Ross: Yeah? Joey really knows his art, huh? Charlie: Not so much, no. He had clearly memorized all the stuff to say, and some of it didn't even make any sense. Ross: What do you mean? Charlie: Well, for one, he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around. Ross: (perplexed for a moment) Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right? Charlie: No, we went to the left. Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together. Charlie: Yeah, it's fun (hesitating). Ross: What? Charlie: Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird. Ross: What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on. Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean? Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else. Charlie: Yeah, I guess that's true. Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is. Charlie: He is very sweet. Plus he's hot! Ross: That was going to be my next argument. (Joey walks in) Joey: Hey! Ross: Hey! Charlie: Hey! Joey: (to Charlie) You're ready? Charlie: Yeah, let's go. (stands up and kisses Joey) (to Ross) Thanks Ross. Joey: (aside, to Ross) Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up. Ross: Glad I could help man. Joey: Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... (confidently) I made it work. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is sitting on the sofa, reading the newspaper.] Chandler: (picking up a plastic cup similar to the one he deposited his specimen in) It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now. (phone rings) Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up) (Monica walks in) Monica: Hey sweetie. Chandler: Doctor Connelly just called. Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you? Chandler: Actually it's both of us. Monica: What? Chandler: Apparently my sperm have low motility and you have an inhospitable environment. Monica: Oh... what does that mean? Chandler: It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kll the ones that do. (pause) It means... Monica: Chandler? Chandler: (seriously) It means that we can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for us. Monica: (weeping) Oh my God! Chandler: I'm sorry. Monica: I'm sorry too. (they hug) Chandler: Well, we're gonna... we're gonna figure this out. Monica: (still weeping) I know. Closing credits [Scene: The Spa Reception. Phoebe walks in] Receptionist: Good morning Phoebe. Phoebe: (imitating the receptionist's tone) Good morning receptionist. Receptionist: Here's your schedule for the day. Your first client is in room No. 1. Phoebe: Rachel Green? (angrily) Son of a bitch, she came back? (Phoebe walks to the door and half-opens it) Phoebe: (through the door, with a Scottish accent) Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassy. End	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x21 - The One With The Fertility Test"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Directed by: Ben Weiss Transcribed by: Eleonora, Pheeboh, Sebastiano & Vanessa [Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches] Charlie: (while Joey's giving her a massage) Oh! That feels sooo good! Rachel: (speaking to herself and reading Cosmopolitan) Oh, lucky me! Coffee and a live sex show! Charlie: I'm sorry, what? Rachel: Oh... Oh, I'm sorry! I'm not... I was just-I was just reading to Emma. Charlie: From... Cosmo?? Rachel: Yeah, yeah... It's... "climax your way to better skin". Charlie: (to Joey) So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes! Joey: So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good. Rachel: (hiding herself behind the magazine and whispering) Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me! Joey: Oh hey Rach! Rachel: Yeah... Joey: Maybe you could take Charlie shopping. Rachel: Oh, well... Charlie: I'm sure you have better things to do. Joey: Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes. Charlie: If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help. Rachel: Ok, uh-uh... Let's-Let's shop!! Joey: (to Charlie) Ok, you're gonna come back with some very classy clothes... (aside to Rachel)... and some slutty lingerie, SLUTTY! Phoebe: (entering and talking on mobile phone) Ok, great! All right, bye! (she hangs up) Pain in the ass!! (she looks at the others, then back at the phone) That's off, right? Joey: What's the matter, Pheebs? Phoebe: Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him! Rachel: Which you're not, because you've totally hung up on him! Phoebe: Exactly! Rachel: And you're gonna want him to eat his heart out so you're gonna have to look fabulous! Phoebe: (after a short pause) I didn't even think about that! (pause) Aaargh, sexual politics!! Rachel: Hey Pheebs, I'm-I'm taking Charlie shopping, why don't you come and I'll help you find something. Phoebe: Ok, that'll be great! Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together. Rachel: That's not what we're gonna do! Joey: Why would you ruin it, who was that hurtin'? Opening credits [Scene: Doctor Connelly's office] Chandler: (looking at the picture of the female reproductive system) Wow! Fortunately she has a very pretty face! Monica: Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess! Chandler: Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!! Doctor Connelly: (entering) Hi there. Chandler: Hi. Monica: Hi. Doctor Connelly: I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your test last week but I wanted to talk to you about your options. Monica: Ok. Doctor Connelly: Above all, even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great, you never know! So, keep having sex on a regular basis. Chandler: Oh, DAMN IT! (Dr. Connelly glares at Chandler) Monica: Don't worry, after a while he'll tune it out. Doctor Connelly: Ok, given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success would be surrogacy, or insemination using a sperm donor. Monica: (long pause) Ok. Doctor Connelly: And, of course, if you feel that neither of those is right for you, you can always adopt. Chandler: Is that a hint? Because we love you Doctor Connelly but we don't think we'd want you to be our child! (Dr. Connelly glares at him) Wow, talking about an inhospitable environment! [Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Charlie on the couch. Rachel enters] Rachel: Hi! Ok, you're ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping? Charlie: Oh, yeah! Let's do it! Joey: (to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss) Rachel: Not gonna find any clothes in there! Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys! Rachel: Hi. Ross: Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference? Charlie: Umh... Kurts Baley? Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing? Joey: Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah! Charlie: So you're up for keynote speaker! Who's making the decisions? Ross: Professor Sherman, yeah. I've a meeting with him today. Charlie: He's a pretty tough guy to impress. Ross: Yeah, well... I think I know how to dazzle him. Rachel: Oh... you're not gonna do a magic trick, are ya? Ross: Tsz... NO! (he goes to sit down, dropping a multicoloured silk streamer off his sleeve). Chandler: (entering) Hey guys! Ross: Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me. Chandler: I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work stuff and/or are sick. Ross: It's in Barbados. Chandler: But you come first! Rachel: I'm there! Charlie: We'll see you, guys! (she goes) Joey: Bye. Rachel: Bye, see ya. (she goes) Chandler: (sitting down on the couch) Ok. Joey: All right, so. How did it go at the fertility clinic? Chandler: Not as much fun as last time. Apparently you only get prn if you're giving a sperm sample. Ross: So-so what did the doctor say? Chandler: Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her. Joey: So you're ruling out surrogacy? Chandler: Yeah. Joey: So, I don't have to learn what that means? Chandler: Aside from adoption the only other choice is insemination, so... we're talking about sperm donors. Joey: Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs? Chandler: (stopping Joey) ah-ha! Ross: How do you feel about all this? Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one. Joey: Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it! Ross: (puzzled) What? (Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear) Ross: (looking astonished) What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben! [Scene: Professor Sherman's office, Ross is relating to Professor Sherman] Ross: The data we are receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing of these fossils are - are staggering. Professor Sherman: Mmm-mm. Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles! (Turns to look at Professor Sherman, only to discover that he is sleeping) Ross: Oh, that's not what you want... [Scene: Shop, Rachel, Charlie and Phoebe walk in] Shop assistant: (to a girl) Incentive For Men? Phoebe: Oh, I'll take some of that. Rachel: Pheebs, that's for men! Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah. (The shop assistant sprays the perfume on Phoebe's neck) Phoebe: Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant). Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets! Charlie: (to Rachel) So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be? Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here. Charlie: See, I told you I needed someone! Oh, you know, by the way, as a "thank you", I would really love to take you out. Rachel: Really? Charlie: Yeah! Actually Joey and I are going to the movies tonight, wanna come? Rachel: Oh, I can't. Because I-I've seen them. Charlie: You've seen all the movies... Rachel: Yeah! I'm a big fan! Of the movies, you know. Motion pictures. The Talkies! Phoebe: (picks up a dress) Hey Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room? Rachel: Sure! Phoebe: Ok! Charlie: Wha, you know, maybe we can do something else! Rachel: You know that depends on what it is! I've done a lot of stuff. (Phoebe and Rachel go off to the dressing rooms. They enter one and close the curtain.) Phoebe: So what were you doing out there, do you not like Charlie? Rachel: She's ok, I just don't get a really good vibe from her! Phoebe: Why? Rachel: I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance! Phoebe: Who else? Rachel: Anybody! You, me, you know, Monica's mom... Phoebe: You like Joey? Rachel: Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him. Phoebe: (whispering) Oh my God! Rachel: It's just physical and I have it totally under control! Ok? It's just, when I see them together, sometimes I just get a little jealous! Phoebe: Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him? Rachel: (annoyed) Oh, I get it! Phoebe: Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right. Rachel: I know, I know, so it is just not a big deal. Phoebe: Yeah. Rachel: So can we keep this between us? Phoebe: Sure! Rachel: Ok, great, because I gotta get out of here, the smell of beets is klling me! Phoebe: Oh. (Rachel opens the curtains and sees Charlie coming out from the dressing room just next to theirs) Phoebe: Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin? [Scene: Monica's apartment, Chandler walks in with a friend of his while Monica is putting fruit in a bowl.] Monica: Hi honey! Chandler: Hey! Look I brought a friend for dinner, this is Zack, from work! Monica: Oh, of course, it's so nice to see you again, Zack! Zack: (shaking Monica's hand) You too. Chandler: You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! (pause) Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer. Monica: I got it. Zack: Thanks. Chandler: (to Mon) So, Zack's pretty nice, uh? Monica: Yeah, I guess. Chandler: So, how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his! Monica: (turns around and she's quite shocked) Excuse me? Chandler: Well, we're talking about sperm donors and Zack may be the guy! I mean, look, he's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic, I mean, he is "spermtastic"! Monica: Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"! Chandler: No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out. Monica: Chandler! Chandler: I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go! Monica: I'm not going to be a part of this! You can't just bring some random guy at home and expect him to be our sperm donor! Chandler: Ok! Monica: Uh! Chandler: (bringing the beer to Zack) Zack! Zack: Thanks! Do you have a coaster? I don't wanna make a ring. (Monica hears that and is suddenly very interested in Zack) Monica: Tell me about yourself, Zack! [Scene: Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are talking in front of the dressing room] Rachel: Oh, God, do you think she heard? It would be so bad if she heard! Phoebe: Well, maybe she didn't hear! Ok I'm gonna go into that dressing room, you stay in here and I'll talk and see if you can hear me. Rachel: Ok, great! (Phoebe moves in the dressing room from which Charlie went out) Rachel: Oh, thank God I can't hear a word that you're saying! Phoebe: (sticks her head out) I didn't say anything yet! Rachel: (sticks her head out too) Well, get back in there and talk! Phoebe: (goes back in) I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends. Rachel: (comes out again) What!? Phoebe: (comes out too) Well, some things are just hard to say to your face. Rachel: Ok well, I heard that! Which means that she heard it too! Phoebe: Ooh! We have a problem. Rachel: Oh! What are we gonna do? (A strange woman sticks her head out from a third changing cubicle to the far right) Stranger: Just be honest with her. Rachel: Oh my God! Stranger: And it is annoying when parents put their baby on the phone... Rachel: (yelling at the stranger) Alright! Enough out of you! [Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is sitting on his bed and the phone rings] Joey: Hello? Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there? Joey: No. no... eh... she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up? Ross: I'm meeting with professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker... Joey: Oh! How's it going? Ross: It could be better! He, uhm... he fell asleep! Joey: What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda! Ross: Barbados. Joey: Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job! Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder. Joey: Well, just wake him up! Ross: I can't! If he realizes that I'm the one that put him to sleep, I won't get the job! Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!? [Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartement. Chandler and the guest are in the living room, Monica in the kitchen] Monica: Hey guys! Dinner's ready! Zack: Oh! I'm gonna go wash up first. (Chandler points him the bathroom) Thanks! Chandler: So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones! Monica: Ok, there's enthusiastic and there's just plain gay!! Chandler: You don't like him. Monica: I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information. Chandler: Alright! Just follow my lead! (Zack comes out of the bathroom. They all sit down at the table.) Zack: You guys have such a great place here. Chandler: Oh! Thanks, I'm crazy about our place. Hey! speaking of crazy... do you have a history of mental illness in the family? Zack: Uhm... no. Although I did have an uncle who voted for Ducokus. Chandler: (very seriously) That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack. Zack: (looking very puzzled) Okaaay... so eh... so tell me, how did you guys meet. Monica: Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story. I've got a better question for you: Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes? Zack: (after a pause, very confused) No... Monica: Eh... Heart Disease, Alzheimers, gout? Zack: You guys don't have people for dinner a lot, huh? Monica: We're just making conversation. (Chandler makes an agreeing-sound) Zack: Ok. I heard a joke today. It's pretty funny... Chandler: You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign) Zack: Ok listen, you guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight and I'm flattered and... and quite frankly a little frightened. Can we just talk about something else? Monica & Chandler: Sure! Alright... Zack: Ravioli's delicious! Chandler: I noticed you were enjoying that Ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth. Did you have braces as a child? Zack: No I didn't. Monica: Yess!! (M & C high-five and Zack looks confused again) Chandler: (Proceeding with his dinner) We're teeth people Zack! [Scene: In the store. Rachel and Phoebe returning from the changing rooms] Rachel: Alright! Let's just do it. Let's just go over there and see if she heard. Phoebe: Good plan. Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going? Phoebe: Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can b*at Mike at "who's more over who"! (at which she walks away) Rachel: (to Charlie) Hey, hi! Hey, where've you been? Charlie: Oh! trying on clothes. Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world! Charlie: (smiling) Rachel... I heard you guys whispering. Rachel: Oh God. You did. You heard. Ok, listen, let me explain. Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey. Rachel: (after a pause) Yeah. Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...? Rachel: Yeah! That's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all! It's like she's a nympho! Charlie: Wow! Rachel: Yeah... Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person. Rachel: (Looks ashamed) I try... [Scene: Prof. Sherman's office. Sherman is still asleep on his chair, blocking the door.] (Ross takes his suitcase and tries to get out but ends up falling on Prof. Sherman's laps, thereby waking him up) Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap) Prof. Sherman: (confused) You're welcome. (Ross hugs him again) [Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting on the sofa, eating a cookie.] (Phoebe walks in wearing a fancy, revealing dress, and stands before Joey) Joey: (impressed) Wow! You look... (drops the cookie)... stop-eating hot! Which is like the highest level of hotness! Phoebe: Are you sure? Because I'm really dreading going to this party. Joey: Then don't go! Phoebe: Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture. Joey: Alright, then you go to that party and you pretend to be over Mike. And afterward you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk! Phoebe: You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room. (Joey gives Phoebe a thumbs up. Phoebe walks out) [Scene: Outside Central Perk.] Phoebe: David? (David the scientist guy is standing at the news-stand) David: Phoebe! Hi! Phoebe: Oh my God! (they hug) David: Wow, you look unbelievable. Phoebe: Yeah. What-what are you doing here? David: Well, I'm back from Minsk... permanently. Phoebe: What happened? David: Well, remember how I was trying to achieve the positronic distillation of subatomic particles? Phoebe: Yeah? David: Well, after eight years of research I discovered that it can't be done. Phoebe: Well, it's great that you're back! How are you? David: Good, good, life is good... Phoebe: Good! David: Ah well, I-I'm seeing someone. Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh, good for you. David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that". Phoebe: Mike and I broke up. David: You're kidding me. Because I'm not seeing anybody, I've just totally made that up. Phoebe: Really? David: Yeah, I don't know why, I'm sorry, I guess I just didn't want to lose face. Phoebe: I understand. Yeah. Ok so then ok, so we're both living in New York, not seeing anyone. That's so not like us! David: Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now? Phoebe: Well... (pause) no. David: Do you wanna get a drink? Phoebe: I'd love to. David: Great. Phoebe: Ok. (they walk away together) David: Do you smell beets? Phoebe: Oh, got it, stay upwind of me. (Charlie and Rachel arrive. They see David and Phoebe leave) Charlie: Hey, there's Phoebe! Is that Mike she's with? Rachel: No, that's David. Charlie: There's a third guy? Rachel: (disapprovingly) Tip of the iceberg. [Cut to Monica and Chandler's] Zack: I'm gonna take off now. You're gonna let me go home, aren't you? Chandler: You sure you don't wanna stick around a little longer? Zack: No, no, I should get home, I'm kinda tired. Chandler: Are you just tired now or are you always tired, 'cause that could be a sign of clinical depression. Zack: No it's just tiring having to figure out the age at which all my grandparents died. I'll see you tomorrow. Chandler: Ok. (Zack leaves) Chandler: I think we've found our sperm! Monica: Does seem pretty perfect. Chandler: Yeah, you think so, well? Should I ask him? Monica: (pause) No. Chandler: Why not, just because his great-grandmother was obese, our kids are gonna get that from you anyway! Monica: No, that's not it. It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before, I just... I just realized I don't care if he's the most perfect guy in the world... he's not you. Chandler: Yeah, he's better! Monica: No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else. Chandler: Really? Are you sure? Monica: Yeah, I'm sure. Chandler: (sighs with relief) Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either. You know, I was just doing because I thought that was what you wanted to do. You know, I'm the husband, I'm supposed to... bring the sperm. Monica: That is so sweet. I love you. (they kiss) Chandler: So you know this leaves us with... Monica: Adoption. Chandler: How do you feel about that? Monica: I think I feel ok about it. Actually I think I feel really good about it. Chandler: Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way. Monica: So this is it, we're really gonna adopt? Chandler: (smiling) Yeah. Monica: (excitedly) Oh my God, we're gonna be parents! Chandler: We are gonna be great parents. Monica: And it could be soon. I mean, think about it: right now, somewhere out there (they go look through the window) our baby could be being conceived. Chandler: Wait, if we're lucky, and we're really really really quiet, we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking! (they hug) Closing credits [Scene: Zack's office] Chandler: Hey, Zack! Zack: (hardly enthusiastic) Hey Chandler. Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable. Zack: No you didn't. Chandler: Really? Zack: No you did. Chandler: My wife and I have some boundary issues, you know, sometimes we ask inappropriate questions. We're working on it. (Zack's pregnant secretary, Jeanette, walks in) Jeanette: (to Zack) Here are the boards for Friday's pitch (hands him something). Zack: Oh, thank you. (Jeanette walks out) Chandler: You wouldn't know if Jeanette's planning on keeping her baby, would ya? End	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x22 - The One With The Donor"}	foreverdreaming
Part 1 written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri Part 2 written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Directed by: Kevin S. Bright Transcribed by: Andreina, Eleonora, Pheeboh, Sebastiano & Vanessa [Scene: Central Perk] Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm all packed and ready to go! Ross: Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right? Joey: Mmh-mmh. Ross: (to Emma) Can you say Barbados? Joey: Barbados! Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars. Rachel: Do you have anything that would... get us out of them? Chandler: Yeah Ross, I mean... we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're gonna wanna do, you know, "island's stuff". Phoebe: I think David would probably wanna hear a few lectures. Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist! Phoebe: No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die. Ross: Ok, we gotta go, yeah? So, we'll see you guys tomorrow. Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally. Ross: It's a blanket Joe, not a cloak of invisibility! Opening credits [Scene: Paradise Hotel lounge in Barbados] Charlie: Wow! This place is beautiful! Ross: (very excited) Look at all these paleontologists!! Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them) Woman: Oh my God, I can't believe you're here! Joey: (to Charlie) I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time! Woman: Doctor Geller, I'm such a huge fan! Joey: That... never happens... Woman: I've been following your career for years, I-I can't wait for your keynote speech. Ross: Wow! This is very flattering, uh... Woman: I would love your autograph. (hands him a notepad) Ross: Uh, uh... Sure! Um... "Dear..." (he takes the notepad) Woman: Sarah. Ross: "... Sarah. I dig you", Uh? "Doctor Ross Geller". Sarah: Thank you so much! Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani. Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist? Joey: No, God, no! No! No no, I'm an actor. You'd probably recognize me from a little show called "The Days of Our Lives". Ross: Dude, it's just "Days of Our Lives"... there's no the. Joey: (thinking he's kidding) Ok, Ross! It's... It's fun, yeah! No, I-I play Doctor Drake Ramoray. Sarah: I'm sorry, I don't own a TV. Joey: You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at?? [Scene: Central Perk] Monica: David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air. David: Oh, certainly. That's a combination of Bernoulli's principle and Newton's third law of motion. Monica: (to Chandler) See? Chandler: Yeah, that's the same as "it has something to do with wind". Monica: Alright, I'm gonna go pick up a few things for the trip. Phoebe: Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there. (Everyone looks at her) Phoebe: Mike?? Who's Mike? David: Mike is your ex... uh... boyfriend! Phoebe: That's right! Oh, yeah... Well, I've totally forgotten about im! AH! That's-That's... a blast from the past! David: It's ok. Ho-honest mistake. Phoebe: Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time! Chandler: (upset) She does? Monica: (pinching her) Let's get you out of here!! (they go outside) (Outside the Central Perk) Monica: At least you took me down with you! Phoebe: I'm sooo sorry!! I just... I keep thinking about Mike! I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together. Why-Why do I miss Mike? That's-that's gonna go away, right? Monica: I guess, in time. Phoebe: Yeah. Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone. Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone! [Scene: Inside Central Perk] David: (to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh? Chandler: I wouldn't read too much into it. David: Still you know, a girl calls you by your ex-boyfriend's name, that-that's not a good thing, right? Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee. David: Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe... Chandler: Seriously, we're gonna do this? David: I'm sorry, uh... I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already, you know... Why did Phoebe and Mike break up? Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage? David: That's great! That's great! I-I'll propose to her! Chandler: What? David: Well, I was probably going to do it at some point. Chandler: I didn't mean now... David: Why not? It's brilliant! (talking to an imaginary Mike) Goodbye Mike, we'll see you at the wedding, fella! (pause) well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding... (to Chandler) Thank you, Chandler. Sincerely. Chandler: Well, you're welcome! Glad I could help. David: (after a while) How do you think I should propose? Chandler: David, I'm pretending to read here!! [Scene: Joey in his hotel in room in Barbados] (Trying on a hat and talking to his own reflection in the mirror) Joey: Yeah! How you doin'? Yeah alright! (Charlie comes out the bathroom) Joey: Hey, hey! You said you're gonna wear a thong, where's the thong? Charlie: (laughing) I didn't mean a thong... I meant thongs... Joey: You really should have been more clear about that! (Someone knocks the door, Joey goes to open it and Ross is on the other side) Ross: Hey! Joey: Hey! Ross: (Excited) You're never going to guess who I just saw downstairs! Joey: Oh! ah! eh... Britney Spears!? Ross: Yeah, she never misses these conferences! (then to Charlie) No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz! Charlie: Oh my God! Did you talk to him? Ross: Yeah... what am I going to say to Kenneth Schwartz? Joey: You could say: "Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?" (looks at Ross matter-of-factly) Ross: (to Charlie) Ready to go? Charlie: Yeah! Joey: Wha...? You're gonna go now? I thought we could hang out? Charlie: Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech. Ross: Yeah. Charlie: But maybe we can have dinner later? On the balcony? Will be romantic. Joey: (smiling) Will you wear a thong? Charlie: I will if you will. Joey: Oh... you got yourself a very weird deal! Ross: (a little embarassed by their conversation) I'm good, I have dinner plans (moves away from them). Charlie: So you'll be ok? Joey: Yeah, yeah. I've got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna ht the beach, go swimming... Ross: Uh, Joe, have you looked outside? Joey: No, why? (Ross goes to the window and opens the curtains revealing that it's raining outside) Joey: Oh man! Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees) Joey: I wasn't gonna swim, I was gonna dig a hole! (removes a small plastic spade used by children to play on the beach from his backpack) [Scene: Back in New York, Monica and Chandler in Central Perk on the couch] Monica: Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David. Chandler: (smiling cheekily) I do! Want a hint? huh? "I do" (Monica looks confused, so Chandler repeats) "I do". Monica: Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee. Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe. Monica: What? (looks very shocked) Why? Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could bat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married. Monica: Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke? Chandler: I did! A penis one! Look, just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said? Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again. Chandler: Man, that's some bad advice! [Scene: Barbados, hotel lounge. David, Phoebe and Rachel have just arrived.] (Joey spots them and walks towards them) Joey: Oh! Hey! Thank God you guys are here! Rachel: Hey! Hey what's going on? Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous! (Rachel turns around and sees Chandler and Monica arriving) Rachel: Alright, I don't wanna alarm anybody, but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed! (Monica and Chandler reach the group) Monica: Ok! When I go places with high humidity, it gets a little extra body, ok?! Chandler: That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross! Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave) Monica: (to Chandler) Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed! Phoebe: (shouts after David) Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling! Monica: (shouts to Chandler) And make sure our room isn't next to theirs (points to Phoebe). Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy. Phoebe: Not Joey. Rachel: Not Joey, no, I was just lusting after Chandler. Monica: Yeah, right! [Cut to the guys] David: So, um... I'm proposing to Phoebe tonight. (Removes a ring box from his pocket and opens it to show Chandler the ring) Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is! David: Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's um... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is um... is quite poor. Chandler: (slaps him on the shoulder) Nice! (goes to Monica) Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel) Monica: Ok! Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight! Monica: See what happens when you give people advice? I hope you told him not to? Chandler: That would be advice!! Monica: Ok fine. I'll handle this. (goes to Phoebe who's talking to Rachel) Phoebe? Phoebe: Yeah? Monica: (looking very serious) I need to talk to you. Phoebe: Are you leaving "The Supremes"? (Monica and Phoebe go to one side) MOnica: Ok, my husband just gave your boyfriend some very bad advice. Look, David is going to propose to you tonight. Phoebe: Wow? Really? That's fantastic! Monica: What are you serious? You wanna marry him? Wha... What about Mike? Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream! Monica: Do you really think marrying someone else is the right answer? Phoebe: Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna! [Scene: Ross's hotel room. Ross and is reading his keynote speech to Charlie from his laptop] Ross: By using CT scans and computer imaging we can in a very real way, bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. Charlie: It's great. You're gonna be the ht of the conference. Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler). Joey: Hey guys! Ross: The chocolates aren't here yet. Joey: Damnit! Charlie: Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic! Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...? Ross: If you want to check your email, just ask! (Chandler tries to look offended) Chandler: (offended) What? (pause) May I? Rachel: (looking out the window) What's with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for Dino Week, nobody said anything about it being monsoon season. Charlie: Actually the wet season is June to December. Rachel: It's not the time Charlie. Chandler: (at the laptop) Oh, no, no, no dear God, no! Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot? Chandler: Your computer, I don't know wha... everything's gone! Ross: Wha... what do you mean? (Goes to the laptop) Chandler: It must be a virus. I think it erased your hard drive. Ross: What, oh my God. What did you do? Chandler: Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it. Ross: Why, why would you open it? Chandler: Well, it didn't say "This is a virus"!! Ross: What did it say? Chandler: Nude... (Ross looks at him)... pictures of Anna Kournikova. I'm so sorry. Ross: What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler! Chandler: It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right? Ross: NO! I don't!! Chandler: Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now...! [Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up] Joey: It's really gone? Ross: Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career! Chandler: I just feel awful. Ross: Yeah, well you should! I mean, nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? I mean, she's never even won a major tournament! Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kll you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross) Ross: Get out! (Chandler runs out) Rachel: You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work. Ross: Well, what do you do? Rachel: Well, I usually go... play Tetris on somebody else's computer. Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say? Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions. Ross: I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe! Charlie: Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night! Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that? Charlie: Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner (Looks at Joey). Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can. Rachel: Ugh. Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Um, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... um, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic. Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave). [Scene: Mike's apartment. His phone rings and he picks up] Mike: Hello? Monica: Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up! Mike: Who is this? Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you! Mike: (sounds shocked and sits down) He... he's gonna propose? Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain) Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you. Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit! (Chandler walks in) Monica: (sarcastically) Well, I hope you're happy! Chandler: (pretending not to sense the tone) Oooh! I hope you're happy too, honey! Monica: Phoebe is going to say "Yes" to David. See, that's what happens when you meddle in people's lives! Chandler: Phoebe is going to say "yes"? That's, that's great! Monica: No it's not, b'cause she's still in love with Mike! Chandler: And there's not chance that will work? Monica: No, I called him. It's not gonna happen. Chandler: (pointing at her) Oooooooh! Meddler! Meddler! Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place! Chandler: This vacation sucks!! [Scene: The hall, full of paleontologists. Rachel and Joey are walking around] Joey: I'm so bored! Stupid rain, we... we can't do anything. Rachel: Well, I've brought some books. We could read. Joey: Hey, it hasn't come to that yet. (A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray) Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do! Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away) Joey: Hey Rach, do you feel like going to a convention? Rachel: We can't. We're not pharmacists! Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba... Rachel: (picking up another random badge) Kate Miller? Joey: Kate Miller it is. (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast) Rachel: And... that's the most sex I'm gonna have this weekend. Joey: In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it) Rachel: Thank you. (they walk away) [Scene: Ross's room. Charlie is sitting on the bed, while Ross is walking up and down nervously] Charlie: And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century. Ross: Yeah, that's it? Charlie: Yeah. Ross: Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly) Charlie: Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech. Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace. Charlie: Thank you. Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne) Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you. Ross: Oh my God, I love you. Charlie: Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation? Ross: That's Ben, my son from my first marriage. Charlie: Your first marriage? Ross: Yeah. Charlie: You're married more than once? Ross: No. (they clink glasses and drink) Charlie: So, why did you break up? Ross: (embarassed) Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay. Charlie: Oh my God, this is so cool! Ross: Ok, odd thing to get excited about! Charlie: No, it's just... I was enganged to a guy who turned out to be gay! Ross: Hey! High-five! (they high-five) Charlie: Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner. Ross: My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. She didn't get any fitter. Charlie: Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: "Oh, I knew all along" Ross: I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay" Charlie: I know! Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome? Charlie: I didn't do that. Ross: (embarassed) Me neither. [Scene: the Pharmacist convention. Joey and Rachel are walking out of it, drinking cocktails] Joey: Well, who knew? Pharmacists are fun. Rachel: I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home. Joey: Not enough pills in the world, Rach. What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like? Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts... Joey: But what about back home, anything going on there? Anybody you like? Rachel: (takes a sip from her drink, embarassed) No. Joey: There it is, you're blushing! Rachel: No, I'm not blushing, I'm sunburnt! From, you know, the rain. Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little) Rachel: No. Joey: Tell me who it is. Rachel: Joey! (she walks away; Joey goes after her teasing and tickling her) Joey: Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who? Rachel: Joey, come on! It doesn't matter, you know, it's not like anything's gonna happen. Joey: What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get? Rachel: Oh! (pause) Ok. Ok, you really wanna know who it is? Joey: (eagerly) Yeah, who is that? Rachel: Do ya? Joey: Yeah. (Ross and Charlie walk into the hall from Ross's room) Ross and Charlie: Hey! (Joey smiles at them. Rachel looks annoyed) Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner. Joey: Right, of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech? Ross: Yep, we got it, we got it. (To Charlie) Thank you so much. Charlie: I had a great time. Joey: Alright, hey look, and this isn't over, because I really wanna know who... Rachel: Later! La... Charlie: So, shall we? Joey: Yeah. (they leave) Rachel: Ok. See you, bye. Charlie: Bye. Ross: Good night. Joey: Night. (Ross and Rachel watch them walk away and sigh. They look at each other, embarassed.) Ross and Rachel: Ok, good night! [Scene: The restaurant. Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table] (Phoebe and David walk in) Monica: I can't believe she's gonna say yes to David. She's clearly in love with Mike. Chandler: You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that. (David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's) David: Uh, Phoebe, uh, I have... something I wanna say. Monica: Oh my God, he's gonna do it now. Please, I cannot watch this, let's go. Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David! David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help! Phoebe: Sure, ok, yeah. David: But well, now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart. So, to that end... (David produces the ring. At the same time, Mike walks in, behind David) Phoebe: Oh my God, Mike! David: It's David, actually! Phoebe: No, Mike's here. David: (turns around) Hi Mike! Mike: Hi David. Chandler. Monica... (Looks at Monica, checking her big hair, aghast) Oh! Monica: IT'S THE HUMIDITY! Mike: Hi Phoebe. Phoebe: What are you, what are you doing here? Mike: I have a question I need to ask you. David: I have a question I was kinda gonna ask her myself. Mike: Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this. David: (annoyed) Ok, would you care for my seat as well? Mike: Actually yeah, that'll be great. David: That's fair, you've had a long trip. (he leaves his seat to Mike, and stands there looking for a chair. He finally goes to Monica and Chandler's table) Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you. David: Kinda stepped on the toes of what I was going to say. Mike: Sorry David, but she really has to know this. David: Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. If the rain stops. Monica: You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I don't actually have a ring... David: I have a ring. Chandler: I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy. David: Phoebe, will you marry me? Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No! David: Um... Ha ha! Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future. Mike: We can have any future you want. (they hold their hands, gazing at each other) David: Ok, I'm gonna take off. Phoebe: David, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. David: Just so I know, if I had asked first... Phoebe: Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong. David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves) Mike: Is it ok if I hug you now? Phoebe: Yes! (they hug) Monica: (to everybody) BECAUSE OF OUR MEDDLING! Alright? [Scene: Monica and Chandler's room. Monica and Chandler are in bed.] Chandler: Oh, ain't this nice? It's so quiet, I could just lie here all day. Monica: I know (she snuggles to him) (Rachel runs in) Rachel: (walking in hurriedly) Open your drapes! Open your drapes! Chandler: I'm so glad we've got adjoining rooms! (Rachel opens the drapes) Monica: The sun is out! Chandler: Hey! Remember when I had corneas? Monica: Ok listen, you go down to the pool and reserve the chairs, and I'll get the magazines and the lotion. Chandler: Ladies? Ross's speech is in 45 minutes. Rachel: Nooo! Monica: Damn it! Ross: (from across the wall) Walls are pretty thin, guys! [Scene: Conference room. Ross is making his keynote speech] Ross: Then we have to await the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing which call into question information gathered from years of simple carbon dating. Rachel: Look at that woman sitting by the pool getting tan... so leathery and wrinkled, I'm so jealous! Ross: Finally, factoring the profusion of new species recently discovered: Gigantosaurus, Argentinasaurus... Chandler: (to a paleontologist sitting next to him) Not to mention the cold sores. (the paleontologist glares at Chandler) Ross: And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even gonna discuss the carnivores, their heads are already too big. Which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development. (all the paleontologists laugh) Chandler: (to the one sitting next to him) Really? Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that hm ergaster is now thought to be a separate species from hm erectus... (Joey laughs) Charlie: What? Joey: He said "erectus"! Charlie: You're... you're kidding, right? Joey: No, he really said it. Ross: ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of hm erectus... (Rachel laughs) Joey: Erectus? Rachel: hm. [Scene: the hotel conference room] Ross: (concluding his speech)... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. (pauses) Thank you! (Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him) Ross: Oh, thanks guys! Man with a bow tie: (shaking hands with Ross) I thought... it was wonderful! Ross: Oh! Man with a bow tie: Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. (sighs) I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... (sighs again and smiles at Ross blissfully). Ross: (with a frozen smile on his face, realizing something's wrong with Jarvis) Ok... now... now we're just holding hands! (pulls his hand away) Rachel: All right! Well, uh... (to Monica) we're gonna ht the beach? Monica: Yeah! Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great! Ross: Oh, thank you so much! Joey: Yeah, and so funny! Rachel: Oh! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica) Ross: (puzzled) Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! (to Phoebe) Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here! Mike: (popping by, smiling) You're kidding, we wouldn't have missed it! (Ross is dumbfounded to see Mike instead of David) Mike: Oh... I'm back! Ross: (skating over, embarrassed) Ok!... Uh... excuse me? Yeah? Phoebe & Mike: Yeah! (they leave) (Ross goes towards Charlie, who's conversing with a fellow paleontologist, and touches her shoulder to get her attention) Ross: Hey! (she turns to him) Well...? (in expectation) Charlie: You were incredible! Ross: Yeah? Charlie: You blew them away! Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me? Charlie: (smiling broadly) I was not! Ross: No, it's ok! Made me feel like a rock star! Charlie: Oh my God! (pauses) I'm your groupie! Ross: (joking) I'd better not found you naked in my hotel room! (Ross giggles, but Charlie isn't amused at all.) Ross: (realizing his joke wasn't so good, but still giggling) Look, I took it too far! [Scene: the hotel lobby. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in from the outside.] Monica: (her hair bigger then before) I can't believe it's raining again! Oh, it's so unfair!!! (They approach the buffet, where a couple of paleontologists are sipping their drinks) Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on! (Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk away, sipping their drinks) Monica: So, what are we gonna do today? Mike: They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff. Monica: (pleasantly surprised) Ping pong? (to Chandler) Honey, they have ping pong! Let's play! Chandler: I don't think so! Monica: (disappointed) Why not? Chandler: Because you know how competitive you get and well, I say it's cute, others disagree, and I'm lying! Monica: I'm not always that bad! Chandler: Oh, yeah? What happened when we played last time? Monica: (hesitatingly) I punched you...? Chandler: And...? Monica: ... Phoebe...? Phoebe: ... and...? Monica: I clunked your heads together! (Chandler turns to Mike and gives him a "See what I mean?" look) [Scene: Joey and Charlie's room] (Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself) Charlie: (walking in) Hey! There you are! Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic) Charlie: I'm sorry, I can't! I'm running a discussion group all afternoon. Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you... Charlie: You know... I feel so bad! I haven't seen you this whole trip and (pauses) especially last night... Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face) Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun! Joey: (bewildered) Oh! Oh, well! At least we're both having fun! Charlie: Yeah... (There's an awkward moment of silence) Charlie: ... is it weird that it's not with each other? Joey: Yeah! A little bit, yeah... Charlie: (sitting down on the bed) I think we need to talk...! (pause) Joey: Yeah... I think we do... (sighs, with folded arms)... about what? [Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in] Monica: C'mon guys, it'll be fun! Phoebe: All right, all right... I'll play if we don't keep score! Monica: But then how do we know who wins? Phoebe: Nobody wins! Monica: So, we're just four losers... SUPER! Chandler: I'm not playing with you. Phoebe: Yeah, I'm out. Mike: I'll play ya! Monica: (smiling) OK! Phoebe: Mike, you don't know, you don't know what you're doing! Chandler: She gets crazy! This scar (points to his forehead) is from Pictionary! (Monica rolls her eyes) Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve? Monica: Sure! Got to! (Monica and Mike start to play ping pong. Mike scores) Monica: Aww! Mike: Oh, by the way... I'm awesome!! Chandler: (nearly whispering) Oh dear God, there's two of them! Mike: You're ready to play? Monica: Hell, yeah! Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him? Phoebe: No idea! I though he was soft like you! Mike: Wanna make it more interesting? Monica: How much were you thinking? Mike: Ten bucks a game? Monica: Make it fifty! Mike: I'll make it a hundred! Monica: (nearly shouting) One thousand... Chandler: (interrupting her) OK! Mike: To see who goes first, you got a quarter? Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter? Chandler: Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him! Phoebe: (picks up a coin from her bra) Monica, you call it. Monica: Heads! No, Tails! He-he-heads! Phoebe: Tails! Monica: (angry) Ow, what are the chances! (They start playing again) Monica: Ha! My point! Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point. Phoebe: (smiling proudly) He was a lawyer! [Scene: Rachel's hotel room. She is watching the Weather Channel on TV.] Alexandra Steele: (meteorologist) (pointing to the East Coast)... all these coasts having beautiful weather. In New York, it's 72 and sunny! Rachel: Oh! Weather bitch! (turns the TV off) (Someone knocks on the door) Rachel: It's open! (Joey walks in) Hi, Joe! Joey: (downhearted) Hey... Rachel: (worried) What, is everything ok? Joey: Uh... Charlie and I broke up. Rachel: Nooooo, why? Joey: Oh well, she said we have nothing in common. Rachel: (laughing) Oh, that's crazy! Joey: No, it's not, we have nothing in common! Rachel: ... yeah, it's true. Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull! Rachel: (pretending to be offended) What, hey! Joey: (laughing sarcastically) Ok, Rach! (He punches her on her shoulder mockingly, then goes and sits down on her bed) Joey: I feel so stupid, you know? Why... why do I keep going after the wrong girls? Rachel: W-What are you, what are you talking about? Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed) Rachel: Ok... uh... maybe you're not always going after the wrong girl... Joey: (sitting up again) I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me! Rachel: Yeah, I'm not talking about her... Joey: But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? (gives her a meaningful look) Rachel: You know? Forget it! Joey: (stands up) No-no-no-no, no! Who, who were you talking about? Rachel: No, I-I-I-I don't, I actually don't know who I'm talking about! So! Joey: Ok! All right, well... I'm gonna see if I can get a room for the night and I'll... I'll see you later! Rachel: Yeah, sure! (Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed) [Scene: Rachel's hotel room. Joey is standing at the door, facing Rachel] Joey: You like me? (shuts the door) Rachel: (nearly whispering) Ok, let's not make a big thing about this! Joey: (shocked) That's a huge thing! Rachel: Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will! Joey: What... for how long? Rachel: Only like a month! Joey: (outraged) A MONTH?? Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little! Joey: (stands up) I just have one question! Rachel: sht! Joey: (desperate) What the hell are you doin'??? Rachel: I don't know, I'm not trying to do anything, it's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know... I mean, aren't you just a... little curious... (insinuating) what that would be like?... Joey: Uh, am I curious? I mean, I am as curious as... as... George!! Rachel: (puzzled) Who...? Joey: CURIOUS GEORGE! You know, the monkey, and the guy with the yellow hat! Rachel: Oh yes, of course, I remember him! Joey: Yeah, he had a paper route. Rachel: Yeah, he did! (smiling) Oh, see, this is what I'm talking about! Joey: No, I know, yeah I know we're great but Rach no... this... this can't happen! Rachel: But can it... just... happen a little bit? Joey: (charmed, but then recoiling) NO, NO! It can't happen at all! Rachel: But why, why not? Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross! Rachel: But that wasn't gonna stop you before! Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...! Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything! Joey: NO! No-no-no-no-no-no! Hey! Hey, we'll be fine! Li... hey, like you said: no big deal! Rachel: It's not a big deal! Joey: NO BIG DEAL! Rachel: It's so not a big deal! Joey: Yeah! I'll see ya later! Yeah! Rachel: Ok! (They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door) Rachel: Ok, I... (Joey falls backwards into the room) Rachel: AAAHHHH! (Joey hurriedly stands up, arms akimbo, gives her an embarrassed look and walks away) [Scene: the hotel game room. Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong] Monica: Ooh! I'm sorry! I think, I THINK, that may have missed the table! Mike: Do you? Monica: Ah, yeah! Mike: Do you? Monica: Ah, yeaaah! Mike: DO YOU? Monica: AH YEAAAAH! Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him? Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now? (Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits) Chandler: I think this is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one. Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can bat her! Knock that dog off her head! (Mike scores) Monica: Oh, damn it! Phoebe: (pointing at Mike and shouting) I sleep with him! Mike: (boasting) Game, point! Monica: (thrat) Don't get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl? Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that. (they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game) Monica: NO, NO, NOOO! Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him) Chandler: Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner. Monica: Best out of three? Mike: That's what I'm thinking. Chandler: Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil? Monica: (to Mike) Serve the ball, chump! Mike: (doing Monica and mumbling): Serve the ball, chump. Phoebe: (to Mike) Ok Mike, better come back Mike, better come back. [Scene: hotel's bar, Ross and Mr. Oberblau are talking] Mr. Oberblau: I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks. If you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be (pause) just nifty! Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles) Woman: Jarvis? Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy. Ross: Get Out! (Charlie walks by) Charlie: Ross, can I talk to you for a minute? Ross: Yes, please! (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, what's going on? Charlie: Uh, well... Joey and I broke up. Ross: Oh my God, wh-what happened? Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at hm* erectus! Ross: I knew that was him! Charlie: Anyway I just, uh, I think it's for the best. Ross: (holding her hand) Hey, you ok? Charlie: I guess. There was um... (she breathes deeply) there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else. (some paleontologists interrupt them) Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker. Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here. Charlie: Yeah, can you guys just throw him in the pool later? Professore Clerk: Or we could throw you both in now! Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them) [Scene: game room, Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong] (Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica scores and laughs) Mike: Ok, so it's a tie again, 41 to 41. Chandler: (exhausted) Ok, look! Enough is enough! Monica: No, I have just to have two more points to bat him! Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head! Monica: I can't just walk away! I've put in four hours! Chandler: But... Monica: Look! You knew this about me when you married me! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Well, this is my sickness! Chandler: What about the obsessive cleaning? Monica: That's just good sense! (they start playing again; suddenly Monica hits the table with her hand) Monica: (in pain) Aww! (she holds her hand, moaning like she's biting back a scream) Chandler: You ok? Monica: No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! (she shakes the wrist and it's more painful) Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! (pause) Oh my God! I can't play! Mike: So you forfeit? Phoebe: Mike wins? Monica: I can't believe it! (pause) I lost! Chandler: No, you didn't. Monica: What? Chandler: Because I'm gonna play for ya. Phoebe: You can't do that! Mike: Oh, that's ok. I don't care which of them I bat. Phoebe: Ok, we're taking that paddle home, mister. Monica: (to Chandler) Honey, you don't have to do this. Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you. Monica: But... you suck! Chandler: (Still in a loving voice) You're welcome, sweetheart. (Chandler prepares to play) Chandler: All right Mike, let's get this over with. Sudden death. Whoever wins this point, wins. Mike: Ok! (They start playing and Chandler does not suck at all) Monica: Oh my God! You're good! Phoebe: It's like watching p*rn! (Chandler scores and wins the match) Chandler: And that's... how... it's done! Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking? Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was! Monica: Why? Chandler: I don't know. Monica: This is so great! Now we can enter into doubles tournaments! Chandler: That's why! [Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant] Charlie: Thanks! Ross: Hi. Charlie: Are they still looking for us? Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest. (Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen) Ross: I don't think they saw us. Charlie: I don't think they did. (They realize that they are hugging closely and he draws back) Charlie: Um, so, I started to say you something earlier, um... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else. Ross: (apparently unruffled) Oh. Can I... can I ask who? Charlie: I think you know. Ross: I think I know too but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so... (Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back) Ross: I'm sorry... we... we can't. Charlie: All right, all right. Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately) (Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens) Rachel: What? (Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.) End	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "09x23 - 09x24 - The One In Barbados"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Transcribed by: Coffee Mug [Scene: Barbados, Monica and Chandler's Room. They both enter from Ross's room. Monica still has her big, frizzy hair.] Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest) Chandler: You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired. Monica: I'll put a pillowcase over my head. Chandler: You're on! (they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room) Phoebe: Hey! Monica: What's up? Phoebe: Well, okay, Mike's taking a shower, which by the way there's no law against. And then we're gonna grab some food, so if you want... (there's a door slamming in Ross's room, and some indistinct murmuring) Ross: ... finally... Phoebe: Is that Ross? Monica: Yeah, you can hear everything through these stupid walls. Phoebe: Sounds like he's with someone. Chandler: He could be alone. This morning I heard him do push-ups, and then talk to his triceps. Monica: Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right. You know I hear someone else in there with him. (they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.) Charlie: Ooh... Dr. Geller! Ross: God, you're amazing... I didn't even have to ask you to call me that. Monica: Oh my God, that's Charlie! Chandler: She's cheating on Joey with Ross! Phoebe: Oh that tart... floozy... giant... Monica: I'm not sure about this. Phoebe: Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business. Monica: No I'm not sure that it's the best way to hear everything. Someone get me a glass! Phoebe: Oh, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend. Rachel: (through wall) Ooh... I love Barbados! (Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.) Joey: Ooh... I can't believe I'm kissing you. I'm kissing Rachel! Rachel: I know, I'm her! (they start to kiss again, and Phoebe turns to Chandler and Monica) Phoebe: (whispering) Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!!! Monica: What? Phoebe: Get over here! (Chandler and Monica take a sprint to the other wall) Rachel: ooh... Chandler: Wow! Monica: (in her Monica-excited-way... TOO LOUD!) Oh my God, I love how thin these walls are! (In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.) Monica: (muffled) Thank you. OPENING CREDITS (Rachel and Joey's) Rachel: Hey, you know, before you said that nothing could happen between us? What changed? Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie... Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk? (Chandler and Monica's) Monica: I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey? Chandler: How about the dinosaur twins in the other room? No-one is manning that wall! Monica: I'm on it! Chandler: Anything? Monica: I think I hear curtains closing... Phoebe: We've got shoes being kicked off over here. Monica: Bedsprings, unmistakable! Chandler: You do realise that's your brother? Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with. Chandler: That's not true. I came with Monica and I'm leaving with Weird Al. Monica: Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, I'm going to the salon. Chandler: Okay Buckwheat! Phoebe: You gotta hear this, it's great... It's like free prn! (Chandler eagerly rushes over) (Ross and Charlie's) Ross: Weh...sigh* Charlie: uhm... Is everything okay? Ross: Yeah, It's just... I don't think I can do this... Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just... Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it. Charlie: I uhm... I completely understand. Ross: Alright, I'm gonna go find them... (twitches a bit, looks down) I just need a... need a before I can... you know. (gestures standing up... they sit and wait for a while) Grandma... grandma... grandma... (he tries to concentrate...) Okay, I see you later. Charlie: Okay... (Chandler and Monica's, all three of them are listening at the wall to Ross and Charlie's) Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone... Chandler: And she's... turning on the TV... and watching... Miss Congeniality! Monica: Honey, if you know it through a wall, you know it too well! (They are still listening at the wall, when Ross enters their room) Ross: Hey, what are you guys doing? Phoebe: Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. (hugs the wall) I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... (she walks away from the wall) Monica: (also hugs the wall) Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! (walks to Phoebe) Chandler: (caresses the wall with his finger) Bye! Ross: Okay, uhm... Hey, you guys seen Joey anywhere? Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica) Ross: Well, if you see him could you please tell him I'm looking for him? Chandler: You got it! Ross: Thanks! (walks out of the room and starts hugging the wall) Thank you! (closes the door) Monica: Other wall, people! Other wall! (they rush to the wall to Rachel and Joey's, and we move to that room) Ross: (knocks on door) Rach, you there? (Joey and Rachel both get up from the bed) Joey: Oh my God, it's Ross. What are we gonna do? Rachel: Oh, ju-ju-just stay calm. Just be calm. For all he knows we're just hanging out together. Right? Just be nonchalant. (Joey like stands at attention with his chest forward and his hands on his sides, looking up at the ceiling with his lips pouted.) That's not nonchalant! Joey: No idea what it means. Rachel: Oh... okay, just hide! Ross: (knocks) Rach? Rachel: Coming! Try under the bed, try under the bed! (When Rachel starts to look under the bed if Joey would fit under there, Chandler opens the door inbetween the rooms, grabs Joey by his shirt and drags him to his room, and closes the door again) Rachel: There's no room under the bed. (looks around because she can't find Joey anymore) Ross: Is everything okay? Rachel: Yeah... (still looking to see where Joey went, and opens the door) Ross: Hey. Rachel: Hi... Ross: You know where Joey is? Rachel: ...I really don't... (looks around again) Ross: Can I talk to you for a minute? Rachel: Yeah, sure... (looks outside into the corridor if Joey is there) (Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them) Joey: I don't believe this... Have you guys been... Phoebe: Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall. (Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.) Ross: And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me. Rachel: (clearly not listening and still trying to find out where Joey went) Uh-huh... right... yeah... Ross: And you know I wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her. Rachel: (still searching) Oh, I know... I know it's been really hard for you. Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be? Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say. Ross: You know, I gotta go find him. He's gotta be here someplace. Rachel: You would think! (Ross leaves the room) Rachel: Joey! Joey: Is he gone? Rachel: (still can't find him) How are you doing this? (Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.) Joey: Pssst... Rachel: How... wha... Hey! What are you... What is this? Have you guys been listening this entire time? Monica, Chandler and Phoebe: YE-AH! Phoebe: Now, what is this? Rachel: Ah, what is this? Well, lets see, we kissed for ten minutes and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade! Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross? Joey: Well, he's with Charlie now. Monica: Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her. And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you? Joey: (long pause and he twitches a bit) You're a pain in my ass, Geller! Rachel: All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it... Chandler: Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you? Rachel: Sure... Chandler: Enunciate! Rachel: Get out! (They leave and Rachel locks the door.) Rachel: Are they right? Joey: Probably, yeah... I mean, maybe we should... hold off until we talk to Ross. Rachel: Yeah... Yeah, we can wait, we don't have to do anything tonight. Joey: Yeah, I think that'd be best... So, so I'm gonna... I'm gonna take off... Rachel: (Joey walks to the door) Although... Joey: (turns around very fast) I like although! Rachel: I mean, you know... Ross and I haven't dated in like... six years... Joey: Six years? Wow... It's almost as long as highschool... Rachel: Plus, you know, he is with Charlie now. Joey: Absolutely! He's not thinking about you. Rachel: No... Joey: I'm thinking about you... Rachel: Yeah... Joey: Let's forget about Ross... Rachel: Forgotten. (They want to kiss, but just before their lips touch, Rachel pulls back quickly, gasping) Joey: What's wrong? Rachel: Nothing... Joey's voice, but she sees Ross: Seriously... What is it? Rachel: Nothing... It's really... It's nothing... Come here, come here... (again, just before their lips touch, she pulls back, gasping) Joey's voice/Ross: What's wrong? Rachel: Sorry, I just uhm... I can't seem to get Ross out of my head... Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away) Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...) Joey: Yeah... we really need to talk to Ross... Both: Yeah COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Chandler and Monica's room. Chandler is packing when Ross knocks on the door and enters...] Ross: Hey! Chandler: Hey! Ross: You guys ready to go? Chandler: Not quite. Monica's still at the salon, and I'm just finishing packing. Ross: Dude! You're not taking your Bible? Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it? Ross: Learn about Jesus... (Charlie now also enters the room, Chandler walks to the bathroom) Ross: Hey! Charlie: So, did you talk to Joey? Ross: Uh, no... no. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane. Charlie: Yeah, sounds like a good idea... Dr. Geller! Ross: Stop it! Charlie: PHD Ross: You're filthy! (Phoebe enters) Phoebe: Hey, have you guys seen Monica? Ross: Uh, actually I think she went to the salon. Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright... (Monica enters, with her hair braided and little shells at the end) Monica: Check it out! Phoebe: Who's day just got better? CHANDLER! (Chandler enters from the bathroom) Chandler: Hey!... aaaaaahhhh! Monica: What do you think? Chandler: I think.... I think I can see your scalp. Monica: Don't you just love it? Ross: Ye... Yeah... Yeah... You got shellfish in your head. Charlie: It's so... something... You go girlfriend! Ross: You've never said that in your life, have you? Charlie: Not once. Ross: I thought so. Monica: And listen to this... (shakes her body so the shells tingle) Chandler: What d'ya know... It's a treat for the eyes and the ears. [Scene: Boarding the plane.] Joey: Whoo, whoo. Wow, it's uhm... kinda weird that I'm sitting next to Charlie after we broke up. Chandler: Yeah, it's almost if Air Barbados doesn't care about your social life. Joey: Look, does someone mind switching to sit with Charlie? Ross: Oh, I uh, I mean, I... dude, I spent the whole conference with Charlie. Joey: I understand... Ross: No, I'll do it. (he quickly grabs Joey's boarding pass and gives Joey his one.) Chandler: Wish I could switch with someone. I really don't wanna sit with Allen Iverson over there. (Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing) Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin... Mike: You should be careful when checking your overhead bins, 'cause items may shift during... Phoebe: Aaah... you're not good at this... Mike: You don't have to go home tonight, do you? Phoebe: No, I think I can come over. It's Saturday, right? Mike: Oh... Phoebe: What? Mike: Uhm... I can't do anything tonight. Phoebe: Why not? Mike: I have a date. Phoebe: You have a... You have a date? With who? Mike: Oh, it's... my girlfriend. Phoebe: (lets go of his hand) You have... have a girlfriend? Mike: Yeah... Well, when... you and I broke up I started seeing someone. Phoebe: For how long? Mike: Three months. Phoebe: Three months? Okay... This is probably none of my business, but uhm, how long do you think you're gonna keep seeing her? Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise. Phoebe: Oh, okay... good. You do that. And then when you get home, maybe there'll be a special delivery package waiting for you. Mike: Maybe I'll sign for it. Tear it open. Pull out the packing material... Phoebe: You know what, we're gonna have sex. Let's just leave it there. (cut to Charlie and Ross) Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free". Charlie: Okay... Good luck. (Ross gets up and gestures to Rachel, we cut to Joey and Rachel) Rachel: Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him. Joey: I guess so. I'm just... really nervous. Rachel: Okay, well keep in mind that by the time you're done, they'll probably be serving dinner. Joey: Ooh... Rachel: Still nervous? Joey: I'm gonna get the lasagna. Ross: Hey Rach... Rachel: Yeah! Ross: Do you mind if I sit here for a sec.? Rachel: Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat) Ross: Hey! Joey: Hey! Ross: So, I uhm... kinda need to talk to you about Charlie. Joey: Yeah? Ross: Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well... Joey: You kissed. Ross: Wha... (gasps) What? What would give you that idea? Joey: I saw you. Ross: Yeah, we kissed, but... nothing else... nothing else happened, okay. Joey: Ross, Ross, Ross... It's okay. Ross: What? Joey: It's okay. You know, I totally understand, alright? You guys, make way more sense than her and I ever did, you know. And... I want you to be happy. Ross: Are you serious? Joey: Yeah... Now I have something... Ross: I am speachless... I mean the fact that you would put my happiness first like that. I mean, you're an incredible friend, you know that? Joey: Oh... uh... look... before you... Ross: No, I mean it. You are so loyal man, and selfless, and generous... Joey: I am those things, yeah. Ross: You know what? I know Chandler longer, so I always think of him as my best friend, but now... I may have to rethink some stuff... Joey: Dude! Ross: Hey, if there is ever, anything I can do for you... Joey: I can't think of anything. (They both hug, and Rachel, who was in the back of the plane, sees this and smiles.) Ross: Thanks! Joey: Yeah. (Ross walks to the back of the plane, where Rachel is.) Rachel: So hi! Ross: Hi! Rachel: So you eh, you talked to Joey? Ross: Ah, yeah. We had a really good talk. Rachel: Oh! That's great! Ross: Yeah! Rachel: Oh, so everything's okay? Ross: Oh, no, it's great. It's great. He is... He is an amazing guy. Rachel: Ah... Well, obviously I think so too. Ross: Well, I'm so excited about this. Rachel: Really? Excited? Ross: Are you kidding? I have had some very dirty dreams about this... Rachel: Excuse me! (and she walks back to Joey, who is still looking very impressed about what Ross said to him. Rachel looks at him and hits him.) You didn't tell him, did you? Joey: I couldn't. He was saying all these really nice things about me. I didn't want him to get mad and take 'em all back. I'm on a edge on Chandler. Rachel: Oh God! Alright, fine. You know what Joey, forget it. When we go back to New York, I will tell him. Joey: Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that. (Chandler walks by and Joey lets out an evil "muhahaho".) COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Mike's apartment. Phoebe's there and the phone rings.] Phoebe: Hi, Mike's place. Mike: Hey, it's Mike. Phoebe: Ooh, that was fast. Mike: Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone... Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I. Mike: One more thing... There... might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table. Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound? Mike: Anyway, I just wanna give you a heads up. Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone) (there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens) Precious: Hi, I'm Precious, who are you? Phoebe: (stunned) I... I'm Phoebe. Precious: Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe? Phoebe: Enchanté (she holds out her hand, and they shake hands) [Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's carrying the laundry hamper to their coffee table.] Monica: Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these... (plays with her hair to make the shells tingle again) Ow! Chandler: You go back to work tomorrow night, right? Monica: Yeah! Chandler: So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn? Monica: Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this. (she pushes Chandler on the couch and brushes her hair and shells against Chandler's chest) You like that, right? (again, she brushes her hair against his chest and hums...) Chandler: What are you singing? Monica: It's "Bolero" from "10". Chandler: It's "Ride of the Valkyries" from "Apocalypse Now"... See, here's the thing: The corn rose were really a solution to your frizzy hair problem. And now that we're home, we don't have that problem anymore, so if you think about it... I hate them! Monica: You what? You said you liked them. Chandler: Did I? Let's refresh. I believe what I said was that I could see your scalp. Monica: Fine, so you don't like them. Everybody else does. Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different. Monica: You know what? I don't care. I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it. You're just jealous because your hair can't do this... (and she shakes her head more violently) OUCH! Chandler: ht yourself in the tooth? Monica: And the eye! [Scene: Ross's apartment.Someone's knocking on the door. Ross rushes to the door and it's Rachel with Emma.] Ross: (gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel) Rachel: That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams. Ross: Ooh hey, Emma, daddy has some presents for you okay? Okay? I want you to wait right here. Come here sweetie. Rachel: Aaah... Ross, actually there's something that I really need to talk to you about. Ross: (unpacking his bag) Okay, sht! Rachel: Okay, uhm... alright, here's the deal. Ross: (gasps) OH NO! Rachel: What? What is it? Ross: Oh, major shampoo explsi*n! Rachel: Uh, look Ross, this really isn't easy. Ross: Oh, it's all over everything. Why? Why me? (looks up) Rachel: Because you took three hundred bottles of shampoo? Ross: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You were saying? Rachel: Well, yeah... Okay, look it's about me and... Ross: Oh, not another one! Oh my G... And this is moisturiser. It's even harder to clean! Why? Why do bad things happen to good people? Rachel: Wow! Well, clearly this is not a good time. Ross: Duh, you think? (enters the kitchen) [Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.] Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off. Precious: I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's going on here. I mean, are you guys getting back together or something? Phoebe: Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie? Precious: My name is Precious. Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours. Precious: I just can't believe this... Why? Phoebe: Well, I don't... Precious: Oh, why would he do this? I mean, what's wrong with me? Phoebe: Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you. Precious: I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do now? Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God. (Precious starts crying) Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love. Precious: I just can't believe that Mike didn't give me any warning. Phoebe: But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me... Precious: He proposed to you? This is the worst birthday ever. (she starts to cry again) Phoebe: Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend. Precious: Oh, my God, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need him. I deserve to be treated with respect. (Mike enters the apartment.) Precious: Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell. (she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.) Phoebe: You're welcome! [Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.] Chandler: Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay? Monica: Not really. (Chandler enters the bathroom, and Monica is standing there in a towel, with her hair stuck in the shower curtain.) Monica: I have a problem. Chandler: Really? What happened? Monica: Well, I was dancing around, and singing "No Woman, No Cry" and I got stuck. Chandler: You can't move at all? Monica: Oh, well, I can move... (she moves back and forth the shower curtain rail, opening and closing the shower curtain with her hair as she goes) Chandler: If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose? Monica: (looking disappointed) I guess so... Chandler: (trying to untangle her) Some of these look a little frayed. Monica: Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free. [Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Joey enters.] Joey: Hey! Rachel: Hi! Joey: So, did you err... did you tell Ross? Rachel: Well, I tried, but then he had a shampoo related emergency. So I guess now it's your turn again. Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side) Rachel: Yeah, 'cause that's what we do. Joey: Alright, alright, okay, uhm... How 'bout this, how about this? Tomorrow... tomorrow we'll both go and we'll tell him together. Rachel: Okay, that sounds fair. It just means that once again we can't... Joey: I know, I know..., but that's okay. I mean, we can control ourselves, we're not animals. Rachel: No! Of course we can wait. Alright, so I guess that means good night then? Joey: Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while) Rachel: Goo--ood night! Joey: Good night! (they give each other a kiss again, but this time it lasts longer) Rachel: Seriously, good night! Joey: Stop saying good night. Rachel: Okay. (Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.) COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica walks in with one of those knitted Rasta hats.] Monica: Look what I found in the drawer... (Chandler looks up from his book.) And you said I'd never wear this... Chandler: Now that I untangled you, how 'bout you doing a little something for me? Monica: Sure, what do you have in mind? Chandler: I think you know. Monica: Really? I don't really feel like it. Chandler: This is what I want to do. Monica: Okay, I just don't get why you like it so much. Chandler: (Picks up the "Miss Congeniality" DVD) She's an FBI agent, posing as a beauty contestant. THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x01 - The One After Joey And Rachel Kiss"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Sherry Bilsing-Graham & Ellen Plummer Directed by: Ben Weiss Transcribed by: Kreidy [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.] Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay? Rachel: We weren't doing anything! Joey: Rach, he just saw us. Rachel: Shhh. Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss. Rachel: No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados. Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie. Rachel: Yeah, you started it! I've got to chill. Joey: Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but.. Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross. Joey: Yeah, but it did happen, so... (Ross looks shocked and says nothing.) Joey: Ross? Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door? OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Continued from earlier.] Rachel: Ross, say something. Anything. Ross: So you two are..? Joey and Rachel: Yeah. Ross: And have you .. ed? Joey: No, no, no! Rachel: No, no, no! Ross: But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..? Joey: Probably. (Rachel looks at him.) Joey: No, no! Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts. Ross: I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts? Rachel: No, but you know what I mean. Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine! Joey: Really? Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this. Joey: Ross.. Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do? Rachel: Calm ourselves? Ross: No. We should all have dinner. Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night. I'll cook!! Joey: Look, don't you think that will be a little weird? Ross: Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.) Joey: I do like fajitas. [Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.] Monica: God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives. Chandler: There's a hair in my coffee. (Phoebe enters.) Phoebe: Hey guys! Monica: Hey. Phoebe: Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets. Chandler: You know, it's funny. Every time you say "triplets," I immediately think of three hot blonde 19-year olds. (Monica glares at him.) Monica: That's sweet. Drink your hair. Phoebe: Hey, what's all this stuff? Monica: Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies. Phoebe: Ooh, babies! Oh, this one is so cute, get this one! Monica: That's not really how it works. Phoebe: Oh, how does it work? Monica: I don't know! Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you. Monica: Thanks, that would be great. Hey, honey, wouldn't that be great? (Chandler looks like he did the time he swallowed the toy in 605 TOW Joey's Porsche. It's the hair in his coffee.) (Frank Jr. and the triplets enter.) Frank Jr.: Alright, alright, alright. Remember what we talked about. When we're in a public place, there are certain rules. (The triplets scream and run amok in the coffeehouse.) Frank Jr.: That's not what we talked about!! Phoebe: Hey! Frank Jr.: Hey. Phoebe: Good to see you. Frank Jr.: Good to see you, too. Monica: Hi Frank. Frank Jr.: Hi, how you doin'? Monica: Oh, my goodness, they've all gotten so big! (Little Chandler is pulling Chandler's sweater, while Leslie is throwing bagels at him.) Monica: Which one is which again? Frank Jr.: Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him. Monica (reads a form in her lap): "Willing to adopt triplets?" No! [Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.] Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date. Rachel: Well, what would we be doing? Joey: I'd take you out for a romantic night. Some champagne, fancy dinner, feel you up on the carriage ride home... Rachel: Feel me up? Joey: In a carriage! (Charlie walks up to them.) Joey: Hey, Charlie! Rachel: Hey. Charlie: Hi, hi. So.. Dreading this? Rachel: Oh, you bet. (Joey sees that she's carrying a small red bag.) Joey: So, did you bring a little something for Ross? Charlie: Actually.. It's stuff you left at my apartment. Joey: Oh. Oh, thanks. Charlie: And you know, you can just give me my stuff whenever you want. Joey: Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out.. (They enter Ross's apartment. Ross is already quite hyper.) Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in. Rachel: Okay, well, we brought you some wine. Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.) Joey: Uh, actually, that's.. Ross: Underwear, a toothbrush, and Van Halen CD. I can use all these things!! Charlie: Gosh, Ross, you know, you seem a little... Ross: What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine? Joey: Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink. Ross: You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas. (Does a Mexican dancing-thing before going to the kitchen.) [Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. The triplets are now sleeping on top of each other on the couch.] Phoebe: Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels. Frank Jr.: Yeah, I really cherish these moments, 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again. Phoebe: Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute. Frank Jr.: Yeah. Phoebe: Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing.. Frank Jr.: I haven't slept in four years! Phoebe: That's a, that's a long time. Frank Jr.: You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three! Phoebe: Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area. Frank Jr.: Sometimes I think that.. Oh, no, no, no, I can't say it, it's too horrible. No. Phoebe: What? Frank Jr.: No, I can't. Phoebe: Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them! Frank Jr.: Oh, no! I would never do that. No. I just was thinking that, you know, maybe you could take one. Phoebe: What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one? [Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler and Monica enter.] Monica: Thank you so much for seeing us. Phoebe has told us such great things about you guys. Colleen: Oh, please, we're happy to help. Bill: We went through the same thing when we were adopting. Chandler: So, a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees and hoo-hoos in this room, huh? (Bill and Colleen look shocked.) Chandler: I mean, you have a lovely home. Monica: Well, we appreciate anything you can tell us. Colleen: Well, actually, I think this might help. (She gives Monica a big binder that's perfectly in order.) Colleen: It's pretty much all the information you need. Monica: Oh my god! Colleen: Everything is broken down into categories, and then cross-referenced, and then colour-coded to correspond with the forms in the back. Monica: Thank you. (To Chandler.) I think I just had a tiny orgasm. Bill: I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it. Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us. Chandler: That's great. (To Monica.) Can I see the book? (Monica looks at him.) Chandler: You want me to wash my hands first, don't you? Monica: It's.. It's just so pretty and white. Colleen: The bathroom is down the hall, to your left. (Chandler leaves.) Colleen: I would have told him to do it too. Monica: Can I adopt you? (Cut to the hall. Owen is wearing his scout-uniform and is looking through a box when Chandler walks up to him.) Chandler: Hey, you must be Owen. Owen: Yeah. Chandler: I'm Chandler. Hey, I was in the scouts too. Owen: You were? Chandler: Yeah, in fact my father was a den-mother. Owen: Huh? Chandler: You know how to use a compass? Owen: I have a badge in it. Chandler: You do? That's fantastic! Owen: You wanna see it? Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you. Owen: What?!? Chandler: What? Owen: I'm adopted? (Chandler tries to come up with a good answer.) Chandler: I got nothing. [Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is totally wasted, but he's still drinking all the margaritas.] Ross: The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood. Rachel: Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some. Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'. Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready? Ross: I'm fine! Hey, I'm great! I'm just.. I'm just proud of us. There's no weirdness, no tension. Rachel: No awareness. Ross: We make a great foursome. We should do more stuff together. Ooh! Let's take a trip. Okay, where do you think we - we can go? (The oven timer pings in the kitchen.) Ross: My fajitas!! (He runs off to the kitchen.) Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this. Charlie: Oh, you know what? This is nothing. My father is a raging alcoholic. (Joey and Rachel don't know how to respond to that.) Charlie: Oh, I'm sorry, have I made this evening uncomfortable? (Ross enters carrying a frying pan with fajitas - without any oven mitts.) Ross: Fajitas! Be careful, very hot plate, very hot plate!! Rachel: Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on! (Ross laughs.) Ross: That is gonna hurt tomorrow! [Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. Continued from earlier.] Phoebe: Okay, well, this is crazy. Can't seriously be talking about me taking one of your kids, can we? Frank Jr.: No, of course we're not. Phoebe: Insane. Frank Jr.: I know. Phoebe: Alice would never go for it, right? Frank Jr.: Oh, I don't know, she's pretty tired, too, I think we've got her onboard. Phoebe: Well, just you know, for argument's sake, you know, hypothetically. Which one would you be willing to give up? Frank Jr.: Huh. Phoebe: Frank Jr.Jr.? Frank Jr.: Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke. Phoebe: Uh-huh. Frank Jr.: What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! (Laughs.) Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny. Phoebe: Well, alright, that's fine. What about Leslie? Frank Jr.: Oh, no, no. Not Leslie. No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet. Phoebe: Alright, so that leaves Chandler. Frank Jr.: Oh, no, no, you can't have Chandler, no. No, no. She's my little genius. I got big hopes for her. She's gonna be a doctor or a realtor.. Phoebe: Wow, Frank. I think we just ran out of kids. Frank Jr.: Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies. Phoebe: I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there. Frank Jr.: How about tomorrow? Phoebe: Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. You and Alice just take the whole day together. Frank Jr.: You'd do that for us? Phoebe: Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for. Frank Jr. (looks at the triplets): Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. (Strokes Leslie's hair, and she moves a little.) Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up! [Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler comes running into the living room. Monica is the only one there.] Chandler: Where are Bill and Colleen? Monica: They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are? Chandler: We have to leave!! Monica: Why? What did you do in the bathroom? Chandler: I didn't get to the bathroom. I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted. And there's a slight chance I may have told him. Monica: Oh my god, where's my purse? No, you know what? I can replace everything in there. Get that binder, and let's go! (Bill and Colleen enter.) Colleen: Hey. Bill: Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen. Colleen: I'll go get him in a second. By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet. Chandler: But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows? (Owen comes running in.) Owen: I'm adopted?! Chandler: See? Intuitive! Bill: What? Where did you hear that? Owen: He told me! And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell. Chandler: Which technically now you should give back! Colleen: You told him he's adopted? Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real." Owen: He isn't?! Chandler (to Monica): We have to get out of here, baby! [Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.] Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey. Rachel: Ooy. Ross: And to love. Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love? Rachel: Oh my god, are we supposed to answer? Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own. (Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.) Joey: Dude, are you okay? Ross: Totally. Rachel: Ross, you don't seem okay. Ross (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan. Charlie: Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off. Ross: No! Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely. Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel. Charlie: You're on f*re! I'll call you in the morning, okay? Ross: Okay. Charlie: Alright. (Ross goes to the kitchen.) Charlie: God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so.. Rachel: Oh, that's okay, girls tend not to like me. Charlie: Bye. (Ross enters from the kitchen with three plates with flan.) Ross: Okay, I guess it's just flan for three! Hey, hey, that rhymed! Rachel: You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too. Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone. Rachel: No, no, it's just that it's getting late... Ross: Hey, hey, it's fine. It's totally fine. We've got plenty of margaritas. It's all good. (The oven timer pings again.) Ross: I don't even know what that's for. (He goes back to the kitchen.) Joey: You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay. Rachel: Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning. Rachel: Uh-huh. Okay. You know what, Joey, I don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this. Joey: It doesn't look good, does it? (They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.) [Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.] Joey: Morning. Here you go. Ross: Thanks. Did you stay here all night? Joey: Yeah. Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes? Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen. Ross: What do you mean? Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly.. Ross: Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine! Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel. Ross: Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long? Joey: That's what I hear, yeah. Ross: This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel? Joey: Come on, I mean, you know me, you know... Ross: Joey. Joey: I'm crazy about her. Ross: And she feels the same way? Joey: I think so. Ross: Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on. Joey: Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it. Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she? Joey: No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. Are you sure about this? Ross: Yeah, I'm sure. Joey: And we're okay? (Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.) ENDING CREDITS [Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter to find Phoebe there with the triplets.] Monica: Hey, Phoebs Phoebe: Hey. Monica: Uhm, we just wanna give you a heads-up. Bill and Colleen hate us. Chandler: Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him. Monica: What? Phoebe: Still, he had to find out sometime. Chandler: Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them? (The triplets stare at him.) Chandler: I'm gonna go tell Emma she was an accident. (Runs off.) THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x02 - The One Where Ross Is Fine"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Brian Buckner Produced by: Robert Carlock and Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment] Chandler: So, you and Rachel tonight, uh? Joey: Yeah. It's actually our first official date Chandler: Wow! So tonight may be the night! You're nervous? Joey: Naa, no. This is the part I'm actually good at. Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing. Joey: (pause) It's OK! Chandler: How can you be so confident? Joey: Well, I... I know exactly what I'm gonna do! Chandler: Really? Like you have a routine? Joey: No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different.You have to appreciate their uniqueness. Chandler: Really? Joey: No, I do six things! First, I look deep in her eyes. Then, I kiss her. Next I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh. Chandler: You mean like this? (he starts touching his thigh in a funny and awkard way) Joey: NO! Not like that, no no. No, like this. (He starts lightly grazing Chandler's thigh) Chandler: Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. (They look at each other, both embarassed) Joey: More foosball? Chandler: ...and beer!! OPENING CREDITS [Scene:Central Perk. Ross and Chandler are on the couch] Monica: (entering) Hey! Ross and Chandler: Hey! Monica: (to Chandler) Hey sweetie! (they kiss) Ross: (looking at Monica's legs) WOW! Chandler: Hey! Stop staring at my wife's legs! No no! Stop staring at your sister's legs! Ross: I'm sorry, it's just... how did you get so tan? Chandler: She went on one of those spray-on tan places. Ross: Eh, you got a spray-on tan? Monica: Chandler gets pedicures! Ross: (laughing) Why, why you do, like with the-the toe separators? Chandler: (To Monica) Why...why? Ross: Still, I can't believe that's sprayed on... I mean, it looks really good. I wonder if I should get one! Chandler: Sure, then you should get a mini skirt so you can really show it off. Ross: So, do you get colours or just French tips? Monica: There. Here's their card. Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away) (Phoebe enters) Phoebe: Hey! Chandler: Hey Pheebs! Monica: Hey Phoebe! Phoebe: Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town. Monica: I know, Amanda! Ah! She called me too! She's the worst! Chandler: Who's Amanda? Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!" Chandler: Are you trying to do a British accent? Monica: (pause) (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures! Chandler: Just so I know, how many more of those can I expect? Phoebe: You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!" Monica: I know, and she's always bragging about all the famous people she's met. Phoebe: Oh, I know! "Oh...I slept with Billy Joel". All right, who hasn't? Monica: Oh, what are we gonna do! I don't wanna see her!! Phoebe: Ugh, Let's just cut her out! Monica: What? Phoebe: Cut her out of our lives! Just ignore her calls and dodge her 'till she gets the point! Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that? Chandler: No, had it done to me though. Feels good ! [Scene: At the tanning salon. Ross and a male assistant are walking through a hall] Assistant: Alright Mr. Geller! Right this way! So, how dark do you wanna be? We have one, two or three. Ross: Well... I like how you look, what are you? Assistant: Puerto Rican. Ross: Two, I think a two. Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it? Ross: Spray, count, pat, then turn, spray, count and pat. Assistant: Wow, you catch on quick. Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso) Ross: One Mississipi, two Mississipi, Three Mis...(the sprayer starts again, spraying him in the face and torso again) WAIT! WAIT! I'm not-I've not finished counting!! (he leaves the booth) (the assistant enters the room) Ross: You sprayed my front twice! Assistant: You've never turned? Ross: No, I barely even got to three Mississippi. Assistant: Mississippi? I said count to five'! Ross: Mississippilesly? (pause) Well, how bad is it? Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours. Ross: So, how dark is it gonna get? Assistant: You got sprayed with two two' s and... Ross: I'm a four? Assistant: Yeah, but you're back's a zero. You're gonna wanna even that out. Ross: (sarcastically) Really! Assistant: You might wanna get back in there. Ross: (annoyed) Ok! (The assistant leaves and Ross goes back in the spray-on tan booth and turns his back to the spray nozzles, facing the back wall) Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again! Assistant: You got two more twos? Ross: (hysterically) I'm an eight! [Scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel enter the room] Rachel: Thanks for dinner. Joey: I thought you paid. (Rachel does not answer and seems puzzled) Ha, guess we won’t be going back there! Rachel: So. Joey: Yeah. (Joey and Rachel start kissing) Joey: Hey what do you say, we move this onto the likes of the couch? Rachel: I say ‘cheesy line’, but ok. (They move on the couch and start kissing again. Joey does his grazing on Rachel’s thigh and she slaps his hand) Joey: What’s the matter? Rachel: I am sorry, I don’t know, I am sorry, I don’t know why I did that! Joey and Rachel: Okay Rachel: Ok, so sorry. (They start kissing again and, when Joey grazes her thigh, she slaps him on his hand again) Rachel: I am sorry! Again... I don't know, I don’t know what happened, I must be nervous! Joey: I don’t get it, Chandler loved it! Rachel: Ok, ok, ok. I promise, I promise, I promise, I won’t do it again. I really do. I promise. This is gonna be great. Joey: Ok. (They start kissing again and when Joey grazes, she slaps him three times, on the hand, and on both cheeks) Joey: (a little giddy) Uh, was that good for you? [Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up] Monica: (to Phoebe) No, no, don’t get it. Let the machine pick up. Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Could be Rachel asking if someone could baby-sit again. Monica: It could be Amanda! Phoebe: Oh, you’re right! I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting is a gas! (The machine picks up the phone) Amanda: Hello Monica. It’s Amanda calling again. I am in the neighborhood hoping I can pop by your flat! Monica: You're from Yonkers! Your last name is Buffo-Martisis! Amanda: Let’s see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile. Phoebe: Ok, don’t hold thy breath! (Sound of dialing numbers is heard from the speaker of the machine) Chandler: Hello? Is someone on the line? Amanda: Yes, I was looking for Monica. Chandler: Hang on, she’s right here. (he enters the living room and hands the phone to Monica) Someone's on the phone, for ya. Monica: We weren’t picking up, it’s Amanda! Chandler: (to Amanda) I get pedicures! Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then! Phoebe: Why, why, why didn’t you just say no! Monica: Well, I said 'no' to her coming over now! I couldn’t say 'no' twice! I get this uncontrollable need to please people! Phoebe: (leaving) Fine, fine! You would not hold up well under t*rture! Monica: And you would? Phoebe: I did! [scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting on the couch] Joey: Rach, you sure you wanna do this? Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it’s just a little weird, it’s you, and it’s me, it's just gonna take some getting used to. Joey: Ok. Well, how, how can we make it easier? Rachel: Ok, let’s work from the top down! (Joey nods, but then puzzled because he does not get it) Just work the bra, Joe! Joey: Ok, yeah, got it. Rachel and Joey: Okay. (They start kissing and Joey starts to undo her bra, but fails completely) Joey: This thing welded shut?! Rachel: Okay. Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing. Rachel: Oh! (Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.) Rachel: Ow! Joey: Sorry! Rachel: Well this is romantic! Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra! Rachel: It’s a standard issue bra clasp! Joey: Then I blame you! Yeah! That's right! You threw me off with all your slapping! Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra? Joey: (contemplates for a few moments what Rachel just said) NAH! I don't have another level!! [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment] (Chandler is at the table reading; Monica puts some food for him on the table. Ross walks in looking very tanned. Chandler and Monica look up at him smiling.) Chandler: Hold on! There is something different. Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested. Chandler: Was that place... The Sun? Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.) Chandler: Oh My God! You can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself! Monica: How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!! Ross: (looks at her suspiciously) How do you count to five? Monica: One Two Three... Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing) Rachel: (laughing) oooh! Oh oh! Ross: (Still yelling) I Know! Rachel: oh oh! What is up with Miss Hawaiian Tropic? Chandler: How was your date with Joey? Rachel: Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away! Chandler: You didn't like that? Rachel: Well, it wasn't just me, alright? He freaked out too! He couldn't even undo my bra! Monica: Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open. (Chandler starts looking at her bra) Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me. Monica: Well, you guys have been friends forever. Remember the first time that you kissed Ross? How weird that was? You couldn't stop laughing? You got through that. Rachel: (looking thoughtful) Ok, that's true. That's true, we can do this. You're right, you're right, we can do this. We're just gonna power through! (Joey walks in) Joey: Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second (points to the hall). Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment). (Chandler resumes staring at Monica's bra) Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open! Chandler: (without taking his eyes off the bra) You don't know! (Monica just smiles) [Scene: Central Perk.] (Phoebe is sitting on the couch. Monica walks in.) Monica: Hey Phoebe! Phoebe: Hey! Monica: Is Amanda here yet? Phoebe: No. Monica: (sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency. Phoebe: Oh! Well, what kind of emergency that gets us both out of here? Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident? Phoebe: (makes a face) Are you kidding, I love it! (A blonde woman walks in. Supposedly Amanda) Phoebe: Hi! Monica: Hi! Amanda: Hi! (Phoebe and Amanda hug) Amanda: (To Monica) Hello! (Monica holds her hands out for a hug, but instead of hugging her, Amanda hangs her purse on one of Monica's extended arms.) Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married! Monica: (beaming) Yeah! Yeah! His name is Chandler and... Amanda: (To Phoebe) Smell my neck! (Phoebe does so) It's not perfume! It's me! It's my natural scent! (Monica looks shocked) Phoebe: Musty! Amanda: Oh! Gosh! This is brilliant. Gosh, it's just like old times. I'm so happy you two are friends again! Monica: When were we not friends? Amanda: Well, it was 1992, and I remember because that was the year I had sex with Evil Knievel (She starts laughing very proudly). Monica: Ehm, we were friends in 1992. Amanda: (to Phoebe) No I distinctly remember you were dodging her (points at Monica) calls and trying to avoid seeing her. Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out? Phoebe: Well...kinda. Monica: Oh My God! Amanda: Oh! Bugger. Should I not have said that? I feel like a perfect arse! Phoebe: Yeah well, in America you're just an "ass". (Monica's mobile starts ringing. She picks it up.) Monica: (Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up) Phoebe: (Also gets up and starts taking her purse) Oh my God. Was Mike with him? Monica: Nope! (She turns and leaves) [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment.] (Joey comes running in.) Joey: (To Rachel) Hey! Rachel: Hey! Got champagne? Joey: Yes ma'am, ready to Power through! Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)... Joey: Uh! (When she's done she throws her bra at him) Rachel: Ok (starts to light some candles) Sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. (Claps her hands and jumps at Joey, clearly very excited) Alright! Lets do it! Joey: Ok, you're scaring me a little bit. Rachel: Oh! Get over it soldier, we've gotta do this! (She pulls him towards her and throws him onto the barcalounger) Ok. Aha! You like that huh? Joey: Oh! yeah! Rachel: You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.) Joey: uh uh! Rachel: Yeah baby, I'll show you how we do it! Joey: No, no, no! You kneed me in my misters! Rachel: What? Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Joey? Are you ok? Joey: (He just sits there, legs very close together with a painful look on his face) Soldier down! [Monica and Chandlers apartment.] (Chandler is sitting on the couch reading. Monica walks in.) Monica: We are not friends with Phoebe anymore. Chandler: If she asks, I protested a little, but ok! (Phoebe and Amanda walk in) Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute? Monica: I have nothing to say to you. Amanda: (announces more to herself than anyone else) Wow, my flat is twice this size! Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall? (They both walk to the door and enter the hallway.) Amanda: Ooh, that accident must have been terrible. You look positively ghastly. Chandler: Well, aren't you a treat. [Scene: The hallway] Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why? Phoebe: It was right after we were living together and you were driving me crazy, okay? You were really controlling and compulsive and shrill. Monica: I'm still all those things! Phoebe: You're also so generous and kind and scrappy! Monica: (starts smiling) I am scrappy. Phoebe: Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in. Monica: It's because I'm scrappy. Phoebe: Yeah, you are. And I'm so glad that you fought your way back in, because I don't know what I would do without you. Monica: I won't know what I would do without you. (They hug) Monica: Well, I guess we should go back in. When you gave me another chance, I guess we should do the same for Amanda. Phoebe: Yeah, I guess you're right. (They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it) Amanda: Can you believe it. I've never had any professional dance training. (Monica and Phoebe look at each other and leave the apartment again) [Scene: A different spray-on tan center] (Glenda, who works here, and Ross are walking to the room with the spray-on tan booth.) Glenda: Now, let me explain how this works. You go into the booth, and... Ross: I'm gonna stop you right there, Glenda. Okay? Does it look like this is my first time, huh? Now I want 4 two's... and I want them all on my back. Glenda: (quietly) Okay... (Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall) Ross: Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it? (He turns around frantically from side to side.) Ross: Which... which... which... Which one is it? (He then stops turning, facing one of the nozzles, which starts spraying in this face and front again.) Ross: OH! SON OF A BITCH! (He now turns to the other side, which also starts spraying his face and front.) [Scene: Joey and Rachel's] (Joey and Rachel are both sitting on the couch. Joey keeping his knees pressed against each other) Rachel: What is the matter with us? Joey: Well, I know what's the matter with me. Rachel: No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult? Joey: I don't know. (Chandler enters the apartment) Chandler: That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance... Hey! Rachel: Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that? Chandler: Kinda... you know, sneaking around, having to hide from you guys... Rachel: No, no, no... No, I mean... se-x-u-ally... Joey: Yeah, was there a part of you that... felt like it was... really wrong? Chandler: Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time. (Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them) Chandler: I can tell from your expressions that that's the good news you were hoping for... Well, I'm gonna go continue to... spread the joy.(Chandler leaves the apartment. Joey sighs) Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us. Joey: Yeah, yeah... Absolutely. I mean, just because something's difficult doesn't mean that you quit. Rachel: Right, totally. Joey: Yeah, so we just keep trying and trying until we... do it. Rachel: Yeah, and if doesn't work, then we'll be just one of those couples that never have sex. Joey: That's a... pla-an. (They both stare for a while, and then look at each other) Joey: (sighs) Wow... I did not see this coming. Rachel: I know. Joey: I don't get it. I mean, I was so sure this was what I wanted. Rachel: Hmmm... Me too... (She puts her head on Joey's shoulder and Joey kisses her on her head.) Rachel: I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it? Joey: I guess they weren't as good friends as we are. (Lifts her head from Joey's shoulder) Rachel: Aah... I bet you're right. (They look at each other for a while) Joey: So... Rachel: Yeah. Joey: I love ya. Rachel: Love you too... Alright, I'm going to bed. Joey: Yeah, me too. (Rachel gets up, and Joey tries to get up, but halfway up he sits down again.) Joey: Ooh, yeah, I'm not going anywhere for a while. (Joey takes the ice-bucket with the champagne bottle in it and puts it on his sore spot) ENDING CREDITS [Scene: Ross's apartment.] (Ross is reading a National Geographic on his sofa when Chandler knocks on the door.) Chandler: Dude, it's Chandler. Let me in. (Ross's face is now a VERY dark shade of brown.) Ross: Go away! I don't want to see anybody. Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in. Ross: Really? Did you count Mississipily? (Ross walks to the door and opens it.) Ross: Dude, you're not tanned. Chandler: No, I just had to get a picture of this. (Chandler holds up a camera and takes Ross's picture.) Chandler: I see you later! (Ross closes the door) end	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x03 - The One With Ross' Tan"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Dana Klein Produced by: Robert Carlock and Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa [Scene: Central Perk] Monica: (she enters) Hey guys! Ross, Rachel and Chandler: Hey! Chandler: Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend. Monica: That place in Vermont? You can take a hint! Rachel: Wait, you can't go away this weekend! It's Emma's birthday! Ross: Yeah! Rachel: We're having a party. Monica: Well, can't you just have the party when we get back? Ross: No. Rachel: No, that day... that won't be her real birthday! Chandler: Gee if only she were one and had no idea what the hell a birthday was! Ross: C'mon you guys, this is really important to us. Monica: Well, I'm sorry, but Chandler and I could really use a weekend away. You know, to reconnect... emotionally. Chandler: There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim... Rachel: Well, can't you just go to Vermont the next day? Ross: Yeah, we want everyone to be there. As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister. Rachel: And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle! Monica: All right, we'll stay. We can just drive up after the party. Chandler: Fine, but if we end up not doing this Maxim thing because of this party... Monica: Believe me, that is not why we won't be doing that! OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment] Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all. Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food! Ross: (he enters) Hey guys! Rachel and Phoebe: Hi! Ross: Hey, I brought the camera for Emma's video. Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18. Phoebe: Oh, COOL!! Wow, it's like a time capsule! Ross: Yeah! Phoebe: Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people! Ross: That's the hope! So, is Emma awake yet? Rachel: Oh no, it's still nap time. But she'll be up soon. Ross: Ah, and where is Joey? Rachel: I said it's still nap time. (Joey comes out from his room, yawning) Ross: (taping Joey with the cam) Hey, there is uncle Joey! Joey: Hey! Ross: Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday! Joey: 18, uh? (starts to prepare himself to say his "How You Doin'" line) Ross: Joey, NO! Joey: What, what!? it's for her hot friends! Ross: When they see this you'll be 52! Joey: And starting to think about settling down! Rachel: Hey Joey, will you please set this up for people to put Emma's presents on? Joey: I'd love to! Yeah! Joey: (To Phoebe) We were supposed to bring presents? Phoebe: Yeah! I wrote Emma a song. Joey: Oh, yeah! How was I supposed to know? Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup! (Monica and Chandler enter) Monica: Hey! Chandler: Hey hey! Where's the birthday girl? Rachel: Oh, she's still napping Chandler: Oh, sure, she was probably up all night, excited about the party she knows is happening. Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again. Monica: All right... you're right. We're sorry. Now let's wake up Emma and get the fun time started! Rachel: No really, she didn't sleep well last night, so we can't wake her up. Monica: Are you freaking kidding me, Green? (someone knocks on the door. Rachel goes to open it) Jack and Judy: HI! Ross: (points the camcorder towards them to record their entrance) Hey! Monica: So glad you came! Jack: I can't believe Emma is already one! Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad! Joey: Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that. Jack: Thank you! Joey: Oh man, this is great, uh? The three of us together again! You know what would be fun? If we gave this present to Emma from all of us! Jack: Which one are you? (Time lapse) Monica: I can't believe Emma is still asleep! Chandler: I know, what are we gonna do? Monica: I've got a plan. I've got a plan. I'm going to ram this platter really hard into your ribs. You're gonna scream out and that'll wake her up! Chandler: I'm not going to Vermont with this Monica! Joey: Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents! Phoebe: So you’re gonna... ht on her? Joey: No, no, no! My talents as an actor! Phoebe: Oh! Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books! Phoebe: Or you could stick a fork in an apple! Joey: Hey, I think Emma might like it! Rachel: Oh! Emma might like what? Joey: Um, my present! Rachel: What did you get her? Joey: Actually we prepared performances. Phoebe: Separate performances. Joey: But equally real! Rachel: Well, this sounds like fun! Well, you know what? Actually? People are getting a little antsy waiting Emma to wake up from her nap, so would you mind performing them once now? Phoebe: Sure, yeah! Joey: (unconfidently) O K. Rachel: (to everybody) All right, let’s get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us. Ross: Oh, great! Phoebe: (to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared? Joey: Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting! Rachel: So, Joey, what are you gonna do for us? Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books. Rachel: Oh, ok, which one? Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. Rachel: (crying) Wow! That was amazing! Ross: Thank you so much for that gift! Chandler (nearly weeping): I was not ready for this today! Ross: Amazing... amazing. Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well. Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma! Rachel: Is that it? Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot. Everybody: No, no, no, no, no! [Scene: Joey’s Apartment. Ross is filming his parents ] Judy: Hello Emma. Happy eighteenth birthday. Jack: Right now that seems so far away, seventeen years. Judy: Yes, you’ll be all grown up by then. We’ll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here. Jack: That’s true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma! Judy: After all, my parents died very young. Jack: And my cholesterol’s off the charts! Judy: Remember, Emma, heart disease kills women too! Ross (stops recording): Ok, cut! Great. That was... that was just... yeah! Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a sht of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge. Ross: Sure. Rachel: Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino’s. Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid. Rachel: Well, anyway, they make these great novelty cakes, in all different shapes, and if you give them a photo, they’ll copy it in icing! Monica: Oh, did you do a picture of Emma? Rachel: Yes! On a cake shaped like a bunny. Ross: Uh, Rach? Does this bakery by any chance also bake erotic cakes? Say for bachelorette parties? Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis! Phoebe (sees the cake): oh! Now it’s a party! Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself! Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious? Judy:(to Jack) Jack, look at this. Jack: I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny! Ross: I am this close to tugging on my testicles again. Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now! Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence! Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!! Joey: I'm so confused! Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts! Chandler: To be fair this one does have nuts. (Time lapse) (Ross, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen area) Ross: Hey Mon, that was really nice of you to loan Rachel your car so she could go and get the cake. Monica: Oh. So nice of her to pull my hair, 'till I dropped the key! Ross: Well, you know what? While we're waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? (takes the camcorder and points it at Monica and Chandler) Ok! Chandler: Hi Emma! It's the year 2020. Are you still enjoying your nap? Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years! Chandler: We used to be married, but then we missed a weekend away together and things kind of unraveled. Because of you! Happy Birthday. (Ross looks disappointed and switches the camcorder off) Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour. Phoebe: And you know, I have a massage client soon. Ross: You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh? Monica: Alright, 5 more minutes. (The phone rings, Ross picks up) Ross: (Into receiver) Hello? (listens) Oh no! What happened? (listens some more) Ok ok, where are you? (Grabs a pen and starts writing). Ok, I'll be right there. (Puts the phone down) Chandler: Was that Emma? Is she up? Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her. Phoebe: Well, if you're leaving, I'm definitely gonna go. Monica: No! Wait! If anybody gets to go.. it's us (Points at herself and Chandler) We've been complaining the longest! Ross: No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone? Chandler: I don't know! You'll tell us on Monday! Ross: Joey! You're in charge, ok? You make sure nobody leaves! (leaves) Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going? Chandler: To the bathroom! Joey: Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there! Phoebe: Oh no! He's not getting away that easy! (Phoebe and Joey run towards the bathroom and enter) Chandler: (Yelling) What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! (Phoebe and Joey come out looking shocked) Joey: Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it. Phoebe: No, it did not. Joey: No. Judy: Well, we better get going, it's late. Jack's not allowed to drive at night anymore. He has trouble staying in his lane. Jack: Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime. Judy: Anyway, it was lovely seeing you. Joey: Ok! (Opens the door for them) Judy: Bye... Bye dear. Joey: Nighty-night! Judy: Nighty-night! Joey: Bye, bye. Phoebe: Joey? How could you just let them leave? Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey! I'm not gonna mess with Jack, he's a great man, he fought for our country. Monica: No, he didn't! He pretended to be a Quaker to get out of Korea. Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it) Chandler: You do know, I can just turn them the other way around, right? Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here! (The phone rings, Joey picks up) Joey: Hello? Estelle: (on the other side of the line) Joey! It's Estelle! Joey: Hey! (smiles) Estelle: So, how did your audition go today? Joey: (smile fades) What audition? Estelle: The one I told you about last week? Joey: What? You never said anything about an audition! Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared. Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off! Phoebe: Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute! Monica: Yeah, and we've paid for a room, that we're supposed to be in right now! Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go! Monica: No! no! Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying. Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first. Monica: (She gives Joey a you-are-so-stupid-look) Ok, ten. Joey: Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else? Phoebe: No, lets just draw straws. Joey: Or.. we could flip a coin, and then multiply the.. Chandler: I'm begging you stop. Joey: Right. Monica: Ok, how about this: We got wind up toys for Emma for her birthday. We can make them race, and whoever comes in last, stays! Phoebe: (Visibly excited) Yeah!! Let's do that! Chandler: (Also very excited) That sounds more fun than the thing we were going to do in Vermont! Monica: Everybody get your toys! (They all run toward the table with toys) Phoebe: Ok! I want the dolphin! Chandler: Thats a bear. Phoebe: I'm too excited! Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays! Joey: Ok, ladies and gentlemen, wind your toys! (they do so) Chandler: Ok, on your mark... Get set... GO!!! (Monica, Phoebe and Joey release their wind-up toys.) Phoebe: Go! Go! Joey: Come on robot! (Phoebe's bear takes the lead, followed by Joey's robot, and far behind is Chandler and Monica's dog, which walks a few paces, stops and starts barking, sits, walks again, and so on... ) Monica: (to the dog) What are you barking at? (While Phoebe's bear is still in the lead, it is now closely followed by Joey's robot. Chandler and Monica's dog however, sits down, barking... and does a backflip.) Monica: Wha... How the hell is that gonna help? Chandler: I bought you. How did I forget that that's all you do? (Meanwhile the race has been won by Phoebe's bear, followed by Joey's robot) Joey: Way to go robot! Phoebe: Good job Alan! Joey: Hey, good race you guys. Phoebe: Yeah, see you later! (Joey and Phoebe leave for the door) Monica: No! No, no... wait! We didn't lose. (turns to Chandler) The rules clearly stated that the last one to cross the finish line was the loser. Well, our dog never crossed the finish line, so technically... Chandler: They left. (Monica turns to see the closed door.) [ Scene: The freeway. Rachel is driving Monica's Porsche, while using her mobile phone. Ross is sitting next to her.] Rachel: (into the phone) No, there isn't time to go to the bakery. We're just gonna come home... Everybody left? Alright, well just tell Emma we're gonna be there as soon as we can. (emotionally) Bye... (She hangs up, closes her phone, turns around and puts it in her bag which is in the back of the car. While doing this and not looking at the road, she turns the steering wheel by accident, which makes the car swerve.) Ross: RACHEL! Rachel: OOH! God! Sorry! Ross: (sarcastically) I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver. (Ross fastens his seat belt.) Rachel: Emma's awake. Ross: Yeah? Rachel: I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake. Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box) Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me. Ross: Rach, she's not going to remember this. Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn! Ross: (looks back at the cake) Hey! Rachel: What? Ross: It's not bad. Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that? Ross: Well, I just made these two things uhm... cheeks. And then I split this to make ears. Rachel: Well, I'm very impressed. Ross: Some can sing, some can dance. I apparently can turn phallic cakes into woodland creatures. [ Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Chandler, Monica and Emma are sitting on the floor, and Emma's stuffed animals are lined up in front of them.] Monica: Now another way to organise your stuffed animals, is by size. Chandler: I'm sorry, is this a game for Emma or for Monica? Monica: Game? Chandler: Emma, you even know it's your birthday today? You're one! One-year-old, that's little. (With his index finger he shows her how old she is. Emma also points her finger and babbles...) Chandler: Ooh! That's my girl! Monica: That's how old you are. Chandler: Did I teach her that? Did I just... impart wisdom? Monica: (embraces Emma tightly) Ooh, I want one... Chandler: Me too... (There's a couple of seconds of silence. Then Chandler looks around...) Chandler: There's no-one around. Why don't we just take this one? Monica: ...and head to Canada! Chandler: I was kidding. Monica: I wasn't. Let's get going! (Phoebe enters the apartment again.) Phoebe: Hey, are Ross and Rachel back? Chandler: No, not yet. Phoebe: Oh good, I didn't miss the party. Monica: What about your massage client? Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright. (Joey comes running into the apartment, out of breath.) Joey: Okay, if Ross and Rachel ask, I've been here the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME! (Ross and Rachel enter.) Joey: (to Ross and Rachel) I've been here the whole time! Ross: Joey, we just saw you come in. You ran past us on the stairs. Rachel: I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys! Chandler: Hey, guys! Come on! You gotta see what Emma just did. Rachel: What? Chandler: Emma, how old are you? How old are you today? (holds up his index finger again) Emma: Wo-ish. (and holds up her finger) (Ross and Rachel gasp) Rachel: Oh! Emma, that's right! You're that many! Ross: Oh my God! Our daughter's a genius! Rach, this means... Rachel: (angrily) NO, no science camp! Ross: Damnit! I'll put a candle on the cake. Rachel: Oh!... Oh and Emma, look at your stuffed animals lined up so neatly! Monica: Thanks! Ross: Okay, here we go! Emma's first birthday cake... Well hey... well, blow out the candle. Come on Emma. Chandler: Let's do it, come on! (Rachel wipes away some tears.) Ross: What's wrong? Are you okay? Rachel: Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted. Phoebe: (pointing at cake) Hey, you made it into a bunny. Joey: What is wrong with me. It looked more delicious when it was a penis. ENDING CREDITS [Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. It's just Ross and Rachel. They put the camera on a tripod in the kitchen and they are standing in front of the camera.] Rachel: Okay. Ross: Okay, you ready? Rachel: Yeah. Ross: A-a-and... record. Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really... (There's a lot of yelling and screaming coming from the hallway, and they get up to look at what's the noise all about. In the hallway, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe are having another wind-up animal race, yelling and screaming fanatically.) Phoebe: (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard! end	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x04 - The One With The Cake"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Dana Klein Produced by: Robert Carlock and Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa [Scene: Central Perk] Rachel: You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie. Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time! Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you? Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can! Monica: Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us. Rachel: Of course, I'd be honored! Chandler: Thanks! Monica: Thank you! (Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision) Joey: U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight. Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested. Monica: Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words". Joey: Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!! Monica: Clearly we were wrong. Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one. Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it. Joey: Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..." Chandler: So excited about your letter! (Phoebe enters) Phoebe: Hey! All: Hey Phoebe! Joey: Hey! Monica: Wow! Don't you look nice?! Phoebe: Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary. Rachel: OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex... Phoebe: YEAH! Chandler: So you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate? Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ehm, a Knicks game. Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed? Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room. Monica: You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom! Chandler: That's where people make number two!! OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.] Charlie: Hey! (They kiss and cuddle a little) Ross: Hey... Charlie: So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to... Ross: (surprised) Oh... (he pauses) (sounds disappointed) Ohh... I'd love to but I really have to grade these papers. Charlie: Fine, it's fine... (she whispers) I'll just shower by myself... Ross: (Writing on the papers) B, B, B, B, B! Charlie: Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue. Ross: Well, it had some good ideas, take off your shirt. (they start kissing but someone knocks at the door) Ross: Damnit! Amy: (yelling from outside) Rachel!! Open up!! It's your sister!! (she knocks on the door again) I have to talk to you!! Ross: (he opens the door) Hi Amy! Amy: You're not Rachel. Ross: Still sharp as a tack! Amy: Um... Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie. Charlie: Hi! Amy: Hi! Charlie: Nice to meet you. Amy: H-Hi!!(to Ross) And you are...? Ross: (pause) Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister! Amy: (looks confused) N-no... uhm... did I buy a falafel from you yesterday? Ross: (gives up) Yes, yes, you did. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment] (Ross enters the apartment with Amy) Ross: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants! Rachel: Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! (they hug) Wow! You remember Joey? Amy: Yeah! Hey, sure! The "Days of Our Lives" guy! Joey: That's right, yeah. Amy: You're not good! Joey: Always nice to meet a fan! Rachel: So now, what are you doing here? Amy: Well, I have huge news. Rachel: (Emma starts crying in the other room) Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby! Amy: Wait, this is important! Can Ella wait? (Rachel goes to Emma) Ross: Ehm... Her name is Emma. Amy: Why did you change it, Ella was so much prettier! Ross: What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart! Amy: Hey, your English is getting better!! Ross: (to Joey) Oh my God! Joey: I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated. Ross: What... what you working on? Joey: (using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so... Ross: Why don't you use your Thesaurus? Joey: What did I just say? Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest. Joey: Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... (he uses the Thesaurus) "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!! [Scene: Rachel's room. Rachel is attending to Emma. Amy is standing behind her.] Rachel: God! Amy: So beautiful. Rachel: Oh, I know, isn't she? Amy: No, I was talking about your bedding. Rachel: All right. What's your news, Amy? Amy: Oh! Um... Well... I'm getting married. Rachel: What? Oh my God! To who? Amy: This guy! He has a kller apartment. Rachel: A-And?? Amy: A-And it's on Fifth. And the elevator opens up right into the living room. Rachel: No, what's he like? Amy: Oh! He's ok. Do you remember my old boyfriend Mark? Rachel: Yeah. Amy: It's his dad. Rachel: Huh... wow, so he's gotta be... Amy: Old? Yeah! But he travels a lot, so he's hardly ever there. Rachel: Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like... Amy: Myron. Hmm... I told you he was old! Rachel: Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn’t love. Do you remember Barry? Amy: Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep. Rachel: Sometimes just nodding is ok. (pause) Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about! Amy: (thinks about it) You’re right, you’re right! I’m gonna do it! Rachel: Ok. Amy: I’m gonna marry Myron and keep looking for Mr Right. Rachel: Ok, let’s keep talking. [Scene: Madison Square Garden. Mike and Phoebe are walking to their seats.] Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year! Mike: I know. This has been the best year... (the crowd starts cheering so he starts yelling) THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE! Phoebe: ME TOO! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH! Mike: I FEEL THE SAME WAY! Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY! Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. (on the screen there’s written ‘Julie, will you marry me?’ and goes on to show a guy kneeling down in front of a girl holding out a ring to her) Phoebe: Oh how lame... oh, it’s so tacky, and impersonal. Mike: Really? Phoebe: Oh, it’s the worst way to propose! Mike: (looks strangely shocked) Excuse me... (he leaves, then Phoebe realizes what she did). [Scene: Monica’s apartment. Joey enters the room] Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at prn. Chandler: (reading) I don’t... uh... understand. Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya? Monica: (also reading it) It doesn’t make any sense. Joey: Of course it does! It’s smart! I used the the-saurus! Chandler: On every word? Joey: Yep! Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey) Joey: Oh, ‘They are warm, nice, people with big hearts’. Chandler: And that became ‘they are humid prepossessing hm Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...? Joey: Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude. Monica: Hey Joey, I don’t think we can use this. Joey: Why not? Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what’s-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don’t you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself! Chandler: You know what? You don’t need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump. [Scene: The corridor. Amy knocks Joey’s door and Rachel opens the door.] Rachel: Amy, hi! Amy: I took your advice, I left Myron. Rachel: Oh, good for you! Amy: I know! I'm Erin Brockovich! Rachel: Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you! Amy: Thank you! So, can I stay with you? Rachel: But Erin Brockovich had her own house. (Joey comes out of Monica’s apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags) Joey: Ah, look who’s back! (he sees the bags) Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS? Amy: Well, I’m staying with you guys! Joey: What? Amy: We’re gonna be roomies! (she snaps her finger and points at Joey, snaps her fingers again and points to the bags) Come on! [Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel is in the living room and Joey comes out of his room.] Joey: You slept out here? Rachel: Yeah... Amy kept kicking me in her sleep yelling ‘Myron, get off!’ Joey: But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we’re getting rid of her. Rachel: Joey, I can’t do that! Joey: Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said (aping Amy badly) "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don’t need that kind of talk in my house! Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here. Joey: 'Cause we will appreciate it more when she’s gone? Rachel: No, it's just... look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me. Joey: Yeah, Monica made us! Rachel: Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don’t think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn’t for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it’s gonna take patience, but that’s ok. Amy: Good morning. Joey: Yeaah. Rachel: Amy, that’s what I was supposed to wear today, that’s why I hung it on the door. Amy: Oh, sweety, you can’t pull this off. Rachel: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future. Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that? Joey: (yelling at her) I’M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT! [Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room] Phoebe: Hi. I just had the worst anniversary ever. Chandler: I doubt that! Tell her about us last year. Monica: Oh, well, I bought Chandler a five hundred dollar watch and he wrote me a rap song. Ross: Seriously? Chandler: Word! Phoebe: Well, mine was worse than that. Rachel: Well, what happened? Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing... Rachel: Oh, that is so tacky. Phoebe: Well, that’s what I said, but it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night! Monica: Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose? Rachel: Phoebe, that’s huge! Ross: Well, do you wanna marry him? Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this! Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..? Monica: Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him! Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate? Monica: I proposed to Chandler! (Phoebe stops herself from laughing) Alright, moving on... Chandler: Oh, I don't think it was desperate, I think it was amazing! Monica: Thank you. Phoebe: (To Rachel and Ross) Well, do you think I should propose? Rachel: I think it could be kind of great! Ross: Absolutely! You'll love the feeling! There's nothing like it! Phoebe: Ok, ok, so how should I do it? Monica: How about at a game, on the big screen? Rachel: (Sarcastically) Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker? (claps her hands together, faking excitement) Monica: What? what? He obviously thinks that's a nice way to be proposed to, plus he'd never suspect it! Phoebe: Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two (points to Ross and Chandler) like that? Chandler: Sounds good to me... but what would a guy think? (Amy walks in carrying a phone handset) Amy: (To Rachel) Nana is on the phone (Hands the phone over to Rachel) Rachel: (Takes the phone) Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!! Amy: She did? Who got her condo in Boca? Rachel: (Into the phone) Hello? (announces to Amy) Oh, it's our nanny! (goes back to the phone conversation) Hi! Oh... God! I hope you feel better! Ok, bye! (Hangs up) (To Ross) That's Molly, she's sick. Can you watch Emma today? Ross: No, I can't. I have back-to-back classes. Did Molly say what she had? Because my throat's been hurting? Rachel: Menstrual cramps. Ross: I don't think that's what this is. Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma? Monica: No, sorry sweety.. Phoebe: No, I've got work and then I'm proposing.. Rachel: (To Ross) Great, sh*t, what are we gonna do? Amy: Well, I can do it. Rachel: (Thinks for a moment) Well, actually... Ross: (He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.? Rachel: Yeah. Ross: Um, I do not want her baby-sitting our child. Rachel: Why not? Ross: Well, for one thing, she keeps calling her Ella! Rachel: (Defends Amy) Wha.. well, Ella's a nice name! Ross: Fine, we'll call the next one Ella. Rachel: (Shocked) Wha... the next one? Ross: (a little confused) Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby. Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!! Ross: I... I don't know.. Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world? (Amy approaches from behind) Amy: um... listen, I couldn't help but overhear... 'cause I was trying to... Listen, let me do this alright? I really wanna help you guys out, and plus Rachel's been so wonderful to me... (looks at hem pleadingly) (Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently) Rachel: Absolutely. Amy: (very excited) Oh! Great! So how much does it pay? (Ross just gives up and leaves) [Scene: Central Perk. Joey is inside, Chandler and Monica walk in.] Chandler: Hey Joe! How's the second draft of the letter coming? Joey: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency. (Chandler and Monica look shocked) Monica: You dropped it off? Joey: Yeah. Chandler: Can we read it? Can you print out another copy? Joey: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked) Monica: You hand-wrote it? Joey: Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later! (Leaves) Monica: Oh my God, oh my God, that letter is gonna go in our file! We're never gonna get a kid. No, we're gonna be one of those old couples that collects orchids or has a lot of birds! Chandler: It's ok, it's ok. You know what? (Takes out his mobile) I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. (starts dialing) Monica: Okay good. Chandler: (on the phone) Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and.. (listens) Uh-huh... Uh-huh... okay... thank you. Good-bye. (hangs up looking very confused). Monica: Ugh, we're screwed, aren't we? You know what? Just tell me on the way to the bird store. Chandler: (Still looks confused) They loved it. Monica: What? Chandler: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter. Monica: (surprised) They thought Joey was a child? Chandler: She guessed 8, 9, based on his drawings. (Amy comes in with Emma in a stroller) Amy: Hi! Monica: Hey, what did you guys do today? Amy: Ella wanted to go out, so we went shopping and got some sushi. Chandler: That sounds like fun. Amy: Yeah, not really. Babies are dull. (Rachel comes in, sees Amy and Emma) Rachel: (To Emma) Hey! Hi, how's my girl? Amy: I'm fine! And, I got you a present for letting me stay with you. Ready? Rachel: (sounds excited) Yeah! (Amy takes off Emma's hat) Amy: Ta-daaa! (Rachel looks at Emma) Rachel: (not excited anymore) You pierced her ears!? Amy: (Very excited about it) Doesn't it make her nose look smaller? (Rachel looks very shocked) COMMERCIAL BREAK Rachel: You pierced her ears? How could you do this without telling me? Amy: Well, if I had told you, then it wouldn't have been surprise, now would it? Chandler: I think she looks cute. (Rachel turns around and stares at him angrily) ... but I am wrong! Rachel: Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out. Amy: Why, did something happen to his falafel cart? Rachel: Ugh. (takes the hat and covers Emma's head and half her face with it) (Ross enters) Ross: Hey guys. Monica and Chandler: Hi Ross. Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him). Rachel: Nah, I don't really want her to see. Ross: Why not? Monica: Because there are so many terrible sights in this world. Chandler: Like wr. Or that thing in Joey's refrigerator. Remember? It was in a milk carton but it looked like meat? Ross: Come here (Removes Emma's hat) Oh! There she is! Hi! (Rachel looks worried) Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What? Rachel: Nothing. Ross: (Back to Emma) Hi! (Looks at her) What... (Moves the stroller away from him so he can get a better look at her. He looks at her confused. Finally he realizes the difference and gasps). Please tell me those are clip-ons. Rachel: Oh, they're real! Ross: Did she (points at Amy) do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her! Rachel: I know, I know, and you were right Ross. (To Amy) You are soo irresponsible I am never letting you baby-sit ever again! Amy: Hey you know what, this kid needs me, okay? She needs to have a cool fun aunt! Monica: I'm a cool, fun aunt! Amy: (Sarcastically) O-Okay! Chandler: Hey! Monica can be cool and fun at organized indoor projects! Rachel: I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me? Amy: Well, I don't need you to help me, because I already know what I'm going to do with my life. Rachel: Oh yeah? Since when? Amy: Since today... I am going to be a baby stylist. Rachel: (looks at Ross and then at Amy again in disbelief) What? Ross: That's not a thing! Amy: Well, it should be. I'm gonna help babies learn how to accessorize, what colors to wear, what clothes are slimming... Rachel: (shouting) Babies don't care if they're slim. Amy: Enter Amy! Ross: (very angry) Amy, I ju... I just... I just wanna... Amy: What? What are you gonna do? Ross: (pointing at Amy, shouting) No more falafel for you! (Amy looks at Ross, angrily. Rachel clearly doesn't understand what he meant and looks at Ross who gestures "later".) [Scene: Madison Square Garden. Phoebe and Mike are watching the game. There's cheering, but Phoebe seems distracted.] Mike: Great game, huh? Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh... (seems distracted) Mike: Why do you keep looking at the screen? Phoebe: I'm not. I'm praying. (looking up) Please let the Knicks win... Thank you Thor! (Mike is standing up) Where... where are you going? Mike: Going go to the bathroom. Phoebe: Well, I think you should wait. Mike: Why? Phoebe: Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients. Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask. (We see the screen where it says: "Mike will you marry me?" and then we see Phoebe and Mike on the screen. Phoebe stands up and kneels in front of Mike.) Phoebe: Mike Hannigan... will you marry me? (Mike looks bewildered) Announcer: Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered) Phoebe: That's not very enlightened! (There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him) Phoebe: Hey, hey! (shouting) Boo us? Boo you! [Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey is in the kitchen and the telephone rings.] Joey: (picks up the phone) Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani... Oh, hi! Well, I'm glad you liked my letter... No my mommy and daddy aren't home right now... (looks puzzled) Okay, bye bye. (hangs up) (to himself) She was nice! (Rachel and Amy enter) Rachel: Joey, get Amy's bags, she is moving out! Joey: Whoo-hoo! (and leaves for Rachel's room) Amy: You're kicking me out? Rachel: You put holes in my baby's ears! Amy: Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl! Rachel: (gasps) I can't believe I ever even tried to help you. You are so beyond help. Amy: You know what? Ever since I got here, you have been nothing but negative. Rachel: Excuse me? Amy: You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws (frantically pointing at her nose) And suddenly I am the bad guy? Rachel: (yelling) Joey, where are those bags? Joey: (Yelling from Rachel's room) She has a lot of crap! Amy: You know what? When I moved in here I thought: This is gonna be so great. Just us sisters, back together again like when we were kids, except without that stupid Jill... Oh! Who has gotten fat by the way... Rachel: (doesn't believe what she's hearing) Seriously? Amy: hm-mmm... Mom said she gained like fifteen pounds. Rachel: Hips or thighs? Amy: Ass and face. Rachel: (gasps) Oh! Oh my God! I thought she was on Atkins. Amy: She was. Carbs found her... See, this is what I wanted. Two sisters, talking about real stuff. Rachel: (embarrassed) Oh, I can give you that. Amy: You can? Rachel: Yeah. I just, I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're... you're already a pretty perfect version of what you are. Amy: (touched) Thank you. I've got to admit, Emma does look cute. Rachel: Did you just say Emma? Amy: Ugh, I'm sorry... Ella. [Scene: Mike and Phoebe at a restaurant.] Phoebe: That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls. Mike: But please, let's just forget the whole thing. Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake. (Mike's face changes from happy to sad, and he looks at the cake, disappointed.) Phoebe: It's in the cake, isn't it? Mike: (puts on a fake smile) Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? (he takes the ring from the cake, and cleans it with a napkin) Phoebe: What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. (Phoebe has this weird, anxious, nervous look on her face) Mike: I'm gonna do this now. Phoebe: Oh my God! (Mike starts to kneel in front of Phoebe.) Mike: Phoebe, I... Phoebe: Wait! Oh wait! (she takes off a ring that was already on her left ring finger. After that Mike starts to kneel again, but then...) Oh no! (She was wearing rings on all her fingers and her thumb, and takes all of these off.) Mike: Ready? Phoebe: Uh-huh! (and now Mike kneels properly) Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me? Phoebe: Yes! (Mike puts the ring on her finger) Mike: I love you! Phoebe: I love you more! Mike: Not possible! (they kiss, and then Mike says proudly...) She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls. (They kiss again, and Phoebe looks at the ring.) COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Amy are walking on the sidewalk.] Rachel: So how is the uhm... baby styling business going? Amy: Not that great. It's almost if people don't want to hear that their babies are ugly. Rachel: That's shocking! Amy: Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! (She says hey to the guy at the falafel stand, whose only similarity with Ross would be his black hair.) Hello-oo Ross! (to Rachel) He's rude! THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x05 - The One Where Rachel's Sister Baby-sits"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Sebastian Jones Produced by: Robert Carlock and Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Final check by Kim [Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there] Phoebe: (she enters) Hey... All: Hey! Rachel: Hi! Ross: Pheebs, what's wrong? Phoebe: Oh, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this... (she shows her ring) HUGE engagement ring! All: OH! Rachel: My God! Joey: Hey! Rachel: Congratulations! Wow!! Ross: So, did he get on one knee, did he have a speech prepared, or (in a tender way) did he cry? (the guys look at him) Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals! Phoebe: Well, it was really sweet, and like the most romantic thing ever. Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike! All: Whoo! Phoebe: Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you! Rachel: Mmh-mmh! Phoebe: It's, yes, my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated. Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends? Phoebe: I would, but you're the last one. Rachel: (angrily) GIVE ME THE BOOK! (she takes it and start reading) Pablo Diaz, Brady Smith, huh, "Guy-in-van"? Phoebe: Oh, my first love! Rachel: Oh! Monica: What does the red X next to Bob Greenmore's name mean? Phoebe: dad. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach. Chandler: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it. Rachel: Phoebe, isn't Jethro Tull a band? Phoebe: (proud of herself) Oh yes, they are. OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment] Chandler: (he enters) Hey honey! Joey: (Looking inside the fridge, and we only see his back. Then he closes the door, and we see it's Joey.) Hi sweetie! Chandler: Is Monica not here? Joey: No. Chandler: Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial! Joey: Cool! Chandler: Yeah, and I don't wanna brag but a lot of the ideas were mine! (silence) Hell, you weren't there? All the ideas were mine!!! Joey: That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it? Chandler: Oh... I don't know, I really don't think you're right for the part. Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do? Chandler: First of all. Bravo. Uh, but I really don't think you're right for this. The part calls for a stuffy college professor. Joey: I can do that! (in a deeper voice) "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use..." Oh, what's the product? Chandler: Software that facilitates inter-business networking e-solutions? Joey: (after a long pause he starts miming again) I'm cold! [Scene: Central Perk. Charlie is sitting on the couch and Ross enters.] Ross: (to Charlie) Hey! Charlie: Hey! Ross: Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you. Charlie: Ah, well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt, I'm gonna say congratulations! Ross: Oh, I'm so excited, I mean, apparently I bat out hundreds of other applicants, included five guys I went to graduate school with. Not that I'm keeping score or anything... five! Charlie: Wow, that's great! So, tell me about the grant! Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work! Charlie: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant? Ross: Yeah. Why? Charlie: Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant. Ross: Your ex-boyfriend? Charlie: Yeah. Ross: So, your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed! Charlie: No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you. Ross: Well, if you think it would help. Charlie: Yes, absolutely. I'll call him. Ross: Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes? Charlie: Mmh... he does have a pretty serious latex fetish. Ross: We'll see how dinner goes. [Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She is packing a few tings into boxes.] Phoebe: (looking at Monica entering) Hey! Monica: Hey, you wanna go to see a movie? Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in. Monica: Oh, right. Phoebe: Yeah. Monica: Oh, well. Now that I'm here I might as well help you with the cleaning and organizing! Just happen to have my label maker! Phoebe: Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together? Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys. Monica: Who's Gladys? (Phoebe shows her a horrific painting with a half-a-body girl dummy coming out of the frame. Monica's frightened and she gasps.) Oh! What a tragic loss! Phoebe: Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her! Monica: (faking happiness) Well, I-I-I-I... I don't know... Phoebe: Why, you don't like her? Monica: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her! Phoebe: Really? You think? Monica: Absolutely! Yes, you say to him "I'm sorry Mike I can't live without her, she means too much to me!" Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her. Monica: Damn it, I did not think this through! [Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Joey and Emma are there.] Chandler: Hey you guys. Rachel: Hi! Joey: Oh! Any word on casting yet? Chandler: Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part. Joey: What do you mean? Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from? Rachel: I'm sorry, this sounds like something I'm never gonna be interested in. Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in. Chandler: Joe... Joey: Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses! Chandler: Fine! Joey: Thank you. (he sits down) Chandler: Work, Joe! Joey: Damn it! (he leaves) Chandler (to Rachel): What am I gonna do now? Joey: Just pass it to your boss! Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own! Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys. Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away). [Scene: A restaurant. Ross and Charlie are waiting for her ex-boyfriend, Benjamin Hobart] Ross: I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite to my fantasy dinner party. Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO? Charlie: (glances over Ross' shoulder) Sorry, looks like it's just him. Benjamin: Charlie! My God, you look absolutely stunning! Ross: Well, I... I am having a good hair day. Benjamin: So good to see you. Charlie: Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop) Ross: I'm ok. Charlie: I'm sorry... (introduces them to each other) Ross Geller... Benjamin Hobart. Ross: It's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long I've been an admirer of your work, I mean, that Nobel prize, (he thumbs up) whoooo! I mean, I have to tell you that, you're one of the reasons I got into the field. Benjamin: Oh, well, likewise. Actually, not likewise. I've never heard of you until this morning, but, it's nice to be nice! Charlie: Shall we? (they sit down and Benjamin takes Ross' chair). Benjamin: (to Ross) Thank you! (to Charlie). I can't believe that you chose this restaurant! Do you remember the night? Charlie: Oh my God, I completely forgot! (they laugh) Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! (they laugh more, and Ross start laughing too). Benjamin (to Ross): You weren't there! Ross: No, but, it's, you know, it's just a funny image, you know, the two of you, in this restaurant, with... (laughs nervously)tzz-zzz, mmm. Charlie: Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal, while I go to the ladies room? Benjamin: So, tell me about it. Ross: Ok well, I would like to do a dig in the painted desert. Benjamin: M-m. Ross: See, there are still several areas that haven't been fully excavated. Benjamin: Break up with Charlie! Ross: What? Benjamin: What? Ross: Did you just say "break up with Charlie"? Benjamin: Well, yes, and now. Yes I did say it, and no, I didn't not say it. Ross: Kind of inappropriate, don't you think? Benjamin: I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her. Ross: Are you serious? Benjamin: If you say yes then I'm serious, if you say no then I'm joking! Ross: No! Benjamin: Joking it is! [Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters the room.] Phoebe: Hi! Sorry, I'm late. Monica: Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting? Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours! Monica: Wow, what's the bad news! Rachel: Who's Gladys? Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame. Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, and Monica gets to keep her? In her house? I am so jealous! Phoebe: Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too! Monica: Huh! Rachel: Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so... Monica: You know, I would give her up, for you. Rachel: No, I couldn't let you do that. Monica: But I want to. Rachel: But I don't want you to. Monica: But I insist! Rachel: But I insist harder! Phoebe: Girls, girls, stop, ok? We'll flip a coin. Heads, she's Rachel's, tails she's Monica's. (she flips the coin). Tails! Monica, she's yours! Monica: No, that landed in your food! Rachel: (sarcastic) No, no, that's ok. You won fair and square. I'm so sad! [Scene: Chandler walks into Joey's apartment] Chandler: Hey Joe! Joey: What's up? Chandler: Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested. Joey: (sounds disappointed) Oh. Chandler: (Hands the tape back to him) I'm sorry man. Joey: (looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape? Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches! Joey: (sounds confident) You didn't watch the tape. Chandler: (looks surprised) What!? Of course I did! Joey: Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me? Chandler: I'm not lying to you, I watched it! Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation) Chandler: I watched it! Joey: Keep going Pinocchio! Chandler: (now yelling) (pretending to look shocked) I did! Joey: (yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room) Chandler: (following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face) Rachel: Did you watch the tape? Chandler:(In a sarcastic "of course not"!-tone) No! [Scene: Interview room. Ross and two other professors (one man, one woman) are sitting on one side of a long desk. Benjamin Hobart is sitting on the other side] Benjamin: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem? Dr. Li: Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there. Benjamin: (nods) Interesting. Ross: (Rolls his eyes) I guess! Benjamin: Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some field work. Where might that take place? Dr. Biely: Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota. Benjamin: Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday? Ross: (shocked and confused by the question) What? I... I... (Benjamin looks at him as if to say "What's wrong? Answer the question") Benjamin: Care to venture a guess? Ross: (annoyed) May 12th? Benjamin: (looks surprised and un-impressed) That's not even kinda close! (Ross looks around confused) Dr. Li, how many graduate students you'd be needing? Dr. Li: Half a dozen. Benjamin: I see, and Dr. Biely? Dr. Biely: Three for excavation and two for analysis. Benjamin: Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles h*t was later covered by a popular British invasion band? Ross: (even more shocked) Wha..? I need 6 graduate students. Benjamin: No! I'm sorry, we were looking for "Baby It's You". Baby It's You. Ross: Wha...? Wait, wait, wait, just a minute. None of my questions have anything to do with Paleontology. Benjamin: You're right, I apologize. Scratch the last question. Spell "Boscodictiasaur". Ross: (annoyed) um... I've never heard of a "Boscodictiasaur". Benjamin: Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it. Ross: (stares at him angrily) Ok. (determined to spell it correctly) B - O - S ... Benjamin: No, it starts with a silent "M". Ross: Oh come on!! [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Rachel are talking.] Chandler: I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar! Rachel: But you are a liar. Chandler: What did I just say? (Joey comes out of his room) Joey: You still here? Chandler: Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something... Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying! Chandler: Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape? Joey: (very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room) Rachel: Well, this is going well. (Chandler looks worried) Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins) (The commercial: Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.) Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door). (Silence) Chandler: He really is a chameleon. [Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters carrying the horrific 'painting' of Gladys. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.] Phoebe: (smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting') Monica: (faking happiness) Oh, my! Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot) Monica: (sounds desperate, knowing what Rachel is trying to do) I haven't really settled on a spot yet! Rachel: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door! Phoebe: (genuinely excited about it) Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster. Monica: (offended) I like that poster! Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom? Rachel: (jumps at the chance to make that happen) Oh! There's nothing above your bed!! Monica: (Impatient with Rachel) Are you still here? [Scene: Ross' office. Ross is pacing and Benjamin enters] Ross: Oh hi! Hello! Uh, have you come to ask me some more paleontology related questions? Uhm... your grandmother's nickname, perhaps? (Now yelling) Aunt Margaret's pants size? Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process. Ross: (Sarcastic) No! Stop! Benjamin: Anyway, I've decided to offer you the grant. Ross: (Skeptical) Really? Benjamin: Well... there is just one small... stipulation... Ross: I have to break up with Charlie? Benjamin: Hey, you got one right! (Ross shakes his head) Ross: You're crazy. Benjamin: Crazy, or... romantic? Ross: Crazy! Benjamin: Ooor... Ross: (Yelling) Get out! (Benjamin leaves) [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment.] (Rachel enters, checking the mail, then looks up and sees Gladys placed on the barcalounger.) Rachel: O-oh my God! Joey: (enters from his bedroom) What? Rachel: Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here? Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price. Rachel: Joey, we're not keeping this! Joey: But it's an original Buffay... Rachel: Alright, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted. Joey: Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!? Rachel: Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep. (Joey's eyes are twice their size now, and looks nervously from Rachel to Gladys and back.) Rachel: She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. (in a spooky, slow voice) And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob. Joey: GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE! (Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.) Monica: Hey! I sold that to Joey. Rachel: Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. (gives Gladys to Monica) Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel) Rachel: Yes I can! (pushes her back again) Monica: No you can't. She's yours! Rachel: She's yours! Monica: SHE'S YOURS! Rachel: She's yours! (While they are both pushing the painting towards each other, Phoebe enters) Phoebe: Hey! (there's a pause) Rachel: She's mine! Monica: She's m-i-i-ne! Rachel: She's mine! Monica: She's mine! Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.) Rachel: I want Gladys! Monica: She's mine! Rachel: She's mine! Monica: She's mine! Rachel: She's mine! [Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey's home alone, reading a Sports Illustrated magazine when Chandler enters.] Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not. Joey: That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied. Chandler: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me? [Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch.] Monica: Oh my God! (we see Joey and Chandler standing there, and Chandler is wearing the blue Ichiban lipstick!) Rachel: Excellent! Joey: Now, what do you say? Chandler: Lying is wrong! Joey: And?... AND? Chandler: I'm a pretty little girl. Phoebe: I knew it! [Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.] Ross: Your ex-boyfriend is insane. Charlie: Did you get the grant? Ross: No I didn't, and you want to know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you. Charlie: What? Ross: Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up. Charlie: Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. And besides, he's a very ethical man. Ross: Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"? Charlie: I'm sure he was just joking, Ross. Ross: If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question. Charlie: Seriously? Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, no. He did ask me one. Uhm... How do you spell Mboscodictiosaur? Charlie: Well, if it's like the lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O... Ross: Damnit! [Scene: Benjamin's office. Ross and Charlie are entering.] Benjamin: Dr. Geller...? Charlie... What are you... what are you doing here? Ross: I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog! Benjamin: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia. Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth. Charlie: Benji? Benjamin: Alright, it's true. I behaved horribly. But it's only because I still love you. And I would do anything to have you back in my life. Ross: Too little, too late, Benji! Charlie: I can't believe this. Benjamin: I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me? Ross: (indignant) No! Charlie: Yes! Ross: What? Charlie: I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so.... romantic. Ross: or... Benjamin: Listen, I know, I may be way out of bounds here, but is there any chance you will take me back? Charlie: Maybe... Ross: Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable. Charlie: Oh God! I am so sorry, but... (she puts her hand on Ross's cheek) I mean it's... there's so much history between us, you know... Benjamin: (puts his hand on Ross's other cheek) I'm sorry too... (Charlie and Benji both let their hands slide down Ross's face, until their hands meet, and they hold hands.) Benjamin: I love you! Charlie: I love you too! (and they start to kiss) Ross: Okay, that's it. WE ARE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE! COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Joey's bedroom. Joey's asleep with Hugsy, the penguin right next to him.] (There are scratching and squeaking noises coming from the living room, and Joey wakes up, terrified. He pulls his blanket higher. The doorknob is turning.) Joey: Gladys? (The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.) Rachel: Ha ha ha, third time this week. Man, this does not get old. Joey: You're mean! Rachel: Oh, don't be such a baby! (She closes his door again, and turns around. Then she starts screaming, terrified. There is Glynnis... And Monica holding her up, laughing.) end	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x06 - The One With Ross' Grant"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Mark Kunerth Produced by: Robert Carlock and Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Final check by Kim [Scene: Central Perk] (Joey and Ross enter. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.) Ross: Hey you guys! Phoebe: Hey! Ross: Hey, what are you doing? Mike: Oh, figuring out our wedding plans. Chandler: That's funny, we were doing the same thing! Ross: Yeah! Phoebe: It's really crazy! The hall, the dress, the food... I-I had no idea how expensive this stuff was! Chandler: Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers. Phoebe: So what did you two do about it? Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell. Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money. Mike: I heard that weddings are like a 40 billion dollar a year industry. Ross: Yeah, and I'm responsible for just like half of that. Phoebe: But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use? Mike: Are you serious? Phoebe: Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and we just got married at City Hall? Mike: I think it would make me wanna marry you even more. (he kisses her) Ross: I've got to say you guys, that's an incredible gesture! Chandler: (to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married! Ross: No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. [pause] But maybe the time after that! Opening Credits [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment] (Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.) Joey: Hey! Chandler: Hey! Joey: What's going on? Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment. Monica: (sarcastically) We? Chandler: You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways! Joey: Hey, is this person who decides whether or not you... get a baby? Chandler: Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live. Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state. Joey: Hey, maybe I should stop by! She could be a soap opera fan! It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity. Chandler: (pointing at himself) Little people? Joey: (pointing at himself) Celebrity. Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... prn or cigarettes? Chandler: What...? NO! Monica: Chandler? Chandler: (he stands up and he feels very offended) I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation! Monica: Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tnk, or a filthy video in the VCR? Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine. Monica: It isn't mine! Joey: (going out with the VCR in his hand) Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is! [Scene: The New York City Children's fund hallway.] Charity guy: May I help you? Phoebe: Yes. We're here to make a rather sizeable donation to the children. Charity guy: Well, any contribution, large or small, is always appreciated. Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check) Charity guy: Well, this is very generous! Phoebe: And we don't want any recognition. This is completely anonymous. Mike: Completely anonymous. From two kind strangers. Phoebe: Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay. Charity guy: Well if you like, we can include your names in our newsletter. Mike: Not necessary. Phoebe: Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y. Mike: And "X" is spelled uhm... "Mike Hannigan". Charity guy: Right. Well, on behalf of the children: thank you both very much. Phoebe: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good! Mike: It does. It feels really good! Phoebe: Oh, look! And we get these free t-shirts! (she takes a t-shirt which was on the counter) Charity guy: Oh, actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym. Phoebe: Mhm... it's moist. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment.] Ross: (he enters) Hi! Rachel: Hi! Emma will be up in a minute! Ross: Oh, good! Rachel: Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry. Ross: Oh, that's OK. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there. Rachel: Absolutely. Ross: There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge! Rachel: So, uhm... what are you gonna do today? Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground! Rachel: Oh my God, what!? Ross: Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fre! Rachel: Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground. Ross: Be-caaauuuse... Rachel: (upset) All right, well, if you must know... I had a traumatic... swing incident... when I was little. Ross: Seriously? Rachel: Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! (crying) And it was uneven for weeks! Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie! Rachel: Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes. Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see! Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth! Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when you’ll see the look on Emma’s face, I swear you won’t regret it. Rachel: All right! Ross: Good, you don’t want to be one of those mothers who pass on their irrational fears on their children, do you? Rachel: Irrational, huh? All right, well, I’ll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment! Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings! [Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door] Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early! Chandler: Ok, ok, here we go. Monica: Ok. Chandler: Here we go. Stand up straight. (smiling) Big smile. (opens the door and both are smiling exaggeratedly) Phoebe: Hello, is this the creepy residence? Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but… Phoebe: Awe, this is so sweet of you! But you know what? I won’t be needing a veil, I actually won’t be wearing a dress at all! Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding! Phoebe: No, no, no, we’re not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate them to the children charity. Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that! Phoebe: We, you know, we’re different! We don’t care about having a huge party. (She picks up the veil) This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? (she puts it on) And, ow, I look (she looks her reflex image on a toaster), why, well, radiant. (pause) All right, well, who cares, I don’t need a pretty veil and a fancy dress. Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it? Phoebe: City Hall. Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up! Phoebe: It’s ok, it’s ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding (she covers her mouth) Monica: Yay! Chandler: But you already gave all your money to charity! Phoebe: Well, I’ll just ask for it back! Chandler: I don’t think you can do that! Monica: Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids! Chandler: That’s sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption Lady. [Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they’re ready to play] Rachel: Ok, careful. Ross: Ok. Rachel: Careful, watch her hair. WATCH HER HAIR! Ross: Rach, she’s got like three hairs! Rachel: I know (she touches Emma’s head) but they’re just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out. Ross: I promise you she’s safe! No watch how much she loves this. Rachel: Ok. Ross (to Emma): Ready sweety? Rachel: Ok. Ross: Here we go! (He starts pushing Emma) Rachel: Ok, careful, ok. (Emma giggles) Oh, she’s smiling! Oh my God, she does like it! Ross: See, I told you! Rachel: Awe! (Emma laughs) Oh my God! Looks, she’s a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push? Ross: Oh, absolutely! Rachel: Ok. Oh God. (To Ross) Get the camera, it’s in the diaper bag. Ross: Ok! (he takes the camera and walks backwards to take a sht) See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly (a swinging boy knocks him down) Ow! [Scene: The New York City Children's fund ] Mike: We’re seriously asking for our money back? Phoebe: It’s for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting. Charity guy: Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don’t think that that’s ever happened before. Phoebe (to Mike): Gay, go. Mike (to the charity guy): Oh my God, I love your shirt! Phoebe: The donation we made earlier, we k…, we w…, we want it back. Charity guy: Excuse me? Phoebe: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn’t want, but it turns out we do. Charity guy: So you’re asking us to refund your donation to the children? Mike: Yeah! This feels really good. Phoebe: I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me. Charity guy: Hey, it’s not my business, (he takes their check from a drawer) besides it’s probably a good thing. We really would have been spoiling the children, all those food, and warm clothing… Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kll me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out) Mike: She could have been talking about either one of us. [Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door] Laura: Hi, I am Laura, I am here for your adoption interview. Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in. Laura: Thank you! Monica: Would you like something to drink? Laura: Oh, water would be fine. Monica: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We’re really excited about getting this process started. Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law. Laura: Your place is just lovely. Monica: Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it. Laura: You know, I... I feel like I've been here before. Are any other couples in the building adopting? Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked) Chandler: But other than that... wholesome, wholesome building. Laura: Oh... Chandler: What? Laura: I just realized why I remember this place. Monica: Really? What is it? Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well. Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani? Laura: Yes! Chandler: Of course it was! Laura: Yeah, we had a really great night and in the morning he promised he would call me and he didn't. Chandler: RAT BASTARD! Laura: So you're not friends with him? Monica and Chandler: OH GOD NO! Nope, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! (finally Monica concludes) No! Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door) Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW! Laura: What was that? Chandler: Oh, it's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here. He's great with kids though. [Scene: Ross and Rachel are at the playground with Emma. Rachel in putting her back in the stroller and Ross is tending to his wound] Rachel: Oh, oh Ross, oh my God, are you okay? Ross: SON OF A BITCH! (turns to his right to see three kids staring at him) (To the kids) Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word! (They go away) Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life. Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice. Rachel: Ross, c'mon, please. Can we just get out of here, before somebody else gets hurt? Ross: No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of. Rachel: (looks at him suspiciously) I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair. Ross: Look, I just think you're an adult, okay? And you should get over your silly fears. Rachel: Alright fine. I'll do it. Ross: Good. Rachel: If you hold a spider. Ross: (He freaks out and starts jumping around brushing his sweater) WHAT? WHERE? WHERE? Rachel: IF you hold a spider. Ross: I know. (Rachel bends down to Emma and Ross looks over his shoulder again, afraid) [Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler is still leaning against the door, keeping Joey out, who is still banging and shouting on the other side.] Joey: Guys? Everything ok? It's me, Joe... Chandler: (Screams to interrupt Joey) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......AAAaaa-doption!! Laura: What's going on? Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again) Joey: Guys!? Monica: Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today! Joey: What's going on? Chandler: WE'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, BERT. EVERYTHNG'S FINE!! (cut to Joey on the other side, who finally leaves the door and goes to his apartment) Joey: Everything doesn't sound fine! Laura: Is he alright out there by himself? Chandler: Oh yeah! He has a caretaker. His older brother... Ernie. Laura: Bert and Ernie! Chandler: (nervous smile) You can't make this stuff up! [Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike enter] Mike: You never told me about that guy on your sweet sixteen. Oh, ugh. I'm sorry about that. Phoebe: (Lightly) Oh! It ended okay. One of my friends sht him. Mike: Well, hey, at least you're getting a proper wedding. I mean, you really deserve that. Phoebe: Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. (thinks for a few seconds) Just like the kids I took the money from. Mike: No! No, no. I see where this is going. Don't make me go back there. Phoebe: Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted. Mike: Alright, fine. We'll give the money back. Phoebe: And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't sht anyone in a really long time. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other. Laura: Well, I must say, this seems like a lovely environment to raise a child in. Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any prn or cigarettes under there! Laura: Oh! Well, actually, before we look around, let me make sure I have everything I need up to here... (She starts checking her form. Chandler sees movement near the window from the corner of his eye and when he looks he spots Joey climbing up the f*re escape and onto their balcony. He warns Monica silently.) Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room? (Joey enters through the side window and jogs towards the kitchen holding a baseball bat) Chandler: What the hell are you doing? Joey: Well, you wouldn't let me in, so I thought you were in trouble. Chandler: Well, we're not. Joey: But you called me 'Bert'!? That's our code word for danger! Chandler: We don't have a code word. Joey: We don't? We really should. From now on, 'Bert' will be our code word for danger. (Monica talks loudly in the baby's room) Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler) Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next? Chandler: Any room that isn't behind this couch! (laughs nervously) Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom). (Joey gets up and look annoyed) Joey: (quivering with anger) I did not care for that! Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you. Joey: Ok, ok! (He leaves) Chandler: Ok! (Joey leaves and closes the door behind him. Chandler walks towards the living room, but then Joey enters again.) Chandler: What? Joey: I forgot my bat. (He picks up his bat and holds it up, but then Monica and Laura enter the living room again. When Laura sees Joey, she freezes...) Laura: Oh my God! Chandler: And for the last time, we do not want to be friends with you! And we don't want to buy your bat! (Joey lowers his bat) Laura: What are you doing here? Joey: (to Chandler) Bert! Bert! Bert! Bert! Laura: Are you friends with him? Chandler: I can explain... Joey... Joey: Uhm... ok... uhm... Well, yeah... You have got some nerve, coming back here. I can't believe you never called me. Laura: Excuse me? Joey: Oh... yeah... Probably you don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way. And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it... lady. Yeah! I waited weeks for you to call me. Laura: I gave you my number, you never called me. Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do. Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number. Joey: Really? Think about it. Come on! You're a beautiful woman, smart, funny, we had a really good time, huh? If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you? Laura: I don't know... Well, maybe I'm wrong... I'm sorry... Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies... ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? (and he leaves the apartment, leaving her shocked) Laura: Joey, wait! Joey: (acting sad) NO! I waited a long time, I can't wait anymore... (and closes the door behind him) Laura: (laughing nervously) I'm sorry that you had to see that. I'm so embarrassed... Chandler: Oh, that's really ok. Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard. Laura: Boy, you people are nice... And I've got to say... I think you're going to make excellent parents. (Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.) Joey: LAURA! (and points to her, very confident) [Scene: The New York City Children's Fund building. Phoebe and Mike are entering.] Phoebe: (to the Charity guy) We're back! Charity guy: Are you here to take more money? Because, I think what you're looking for is an ATM. Mike: No, no, we're here to give the money back. Phoebe: Yeah, because you know what, it's... it's all about the children. (the Charity guy smiles wanting to take the check, but Phoebe pulls it back again. His smile fades.) Phoebe: Although... it's also about the wedding... Ugh, alright... here. (she gives the check and pulls it back again) No... Oh God... Oh! Charity guy: If I haven't said so already sir, (sarcastically pointing to Phoebe) congratulations! Mike: (takes the check from Phoebe) Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. (thinking) Now... what do you think we should do? Charity guy: You know what? It's not your decision anymore. Mike: What? Charity guy: On behalf of the Children of New York, I reject your money. Phoebe: But... but... but we're giving you this! Charity guy: Yeah... And I'm giving it back to you... Come on! Consider it a contribution. (gives the check to Phoebe) Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous! Charity guy: Please, take the check, go have a great wedding and a wonderful life together. Mike: Well, I mean... It sounds good to me. And that way we can save up, come back in a few years and make an even bigger donation. Charity guy: Absolutely! And when you do, make sure you ask for Brian. Phoebe: Oh, is that you? Charity guy: No! [Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are sitting in their living room when the phone rings.] Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up) Chandler: Wrong number? Monica: It was Laura... She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list. Chandler: That's great! Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh... (Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.) Chandler: Hello...? Have you seen Joey's bat? COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: The playground. Ross, Rachel and Emma are still there. Rachel comes walking to Ross and Emma with something between her hands.] Rachel: Ok... I got a spider. There were two, I picked the bigger one. Ross: (nervously) Ok... Rachel: Ok... (and passes the spider to Ross who holds it in between his hands) Ross: (Gasps and speaks at a higher pitch) This feels perfectly normal. Ok, get on the swing! Rachel: (reluctantly) Ok... O-k... (She slowly grabs the chains of the swing, swings her hair back, and sits down.) Rachel: (more confident) Ok... (She slowly walks forward and backward, to gain speed...) Rachel: whoo... ok... wow... ok... OH! Ross: See? Rachel: A-alright! I can do this. Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore. Rachel: That's because he's on your neck. Ross: Well... (realizes, screaming like a little girl, trying to get rid of the spider) Whaa... aaah... aaahhh... (Ross is now preoccupied with the spider, and forgets that Rachel is still using the swing. While trying to get rid of the spider, he stands in front of Rachel, who bumps into him, throwing him on the ground again.) Rachel: ROSS! (Rachel tries to stop mid-swing, and the swing starts to turn from side to side) end	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x07 - The One With The Home Study"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Final check by Kim [Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter, the others are sitting on the couch.] Monica: Hey guys! Rachel: Hi! Phoebe: Hey! Monica: We need to talk to you about something. Chandler: Yeah. We don't feel like we can host Thanksgiving this year. All: What? Phoebe: Hey! Ross: Are you kidding? Chandler: Well, it's just with uhm, work and the stress of adoption, we just don't feel like we have the energy. Plus, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us. Ross: (skeptical) That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking! Chandler: No, no! We made this decision together. Ross: She's putting words in your mouth! Joey: Don't you put words in people's mouths, you put turkey in people's mouths! Rachel: I can't believe this! This is Emma's first Thanksgiving! Monica: No, it's not! Rachel: It's not? (whispering to Ross) When was she born? Phoebe: Well, personally I think it's great you're giving yourself a break. Monica: Thank you, Pheebs! Phoebe: Sure. It's just as well... I mean, last year wasn't very good. I think she's losing her touch. Monica: What? You are way off, lady! Phoebe: Am I? Really? Am I? Well, why don't you cook Thanksgiving dinner and prove me wrong! Well, think about it, think about it, you'll be trying to top than you did last year. You'd be in competition... with yourself. Monica: That's my favourite kind! Okay, we are doing this! Chandler: Don't let yourself get manipulated this way! Monica: Hey, stay out of this, Chandler! This is between me... and ME! Chandler: We are supposed to make these decisions together! Did you not watch the Doctor Phil I taped for you? OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Monica are in there, and Phoebe enters] Phoebe: Hey! Rachel: Hi! Happy Thanksgiving! Phoebe: Oh, yeah, happy needless-turkey-mrder day. Monica: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me? Phoebe: You're not making the pies yourself? Monica: No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick. Rachel: Did you at least win the contest? Monica: 2 minutes, 12 pies and a part of one tin! Okay, I see you guys at 4. Rachel: Can't wait! Monica: This dinner is gonna be so great! In your face, last year "me"! (Monica leaves) Phoebe: Hey Rach. Rachel: Yeah. Phoebe: What's Emma doing today? Rachel: Well, let's see... uh... I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer and then she has to make a very big poop. Why? Phoebe: Well, I wanna enter her in a baby beauty pageant. Rachel: Oh my God! That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard! Phoebe: Okay, but, well, before you say no, my friend Susanne is entering her kid and compared to Emma she's a real dog! Rachel: Oh! Phoebe, all babies are beautiful! Phoebe: (sarcastic) Oh... okay. Rachel: Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another, I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy... Rachel: And a thousand dollars. Rachel: ...is something I'm very interested in! Oh please, do not tell Ross. He still believes that (in a deep voice, mocking Ross) what's in the inside is important... Phoebe: Okay, oh, and Emma needs a cowgirl outfit for the competition. Rachel: Where am I gonna get a cowgirl outfit on Thanksgiving? Phoebe: Well, I was thinking... Rachel: Oh, take the clothes of Joey's Cabbage Patch Kid. Phoebe: Yeah! [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is watching TV and Monica is cooking] Monica: (Chandler's laughing) Did someone drop the baton again? Chandler: Why come all the way from Kansas to do that? Monica: (she tastes what she has cooked) I don't get older. I just get better! Chandler: You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon! Monica: You don't know that. Chandler: Somebody is gonna pick us. Monica: Yeah, but we haven't heard a thing from the adoption agency and it has been weeks! Chandler: I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. (pause) What, he's my favourite author! Monica: Name one of his books. Chandler: (after a long pause) "The Firm"? Monica: Ok, let's see... uhm, okay, the turkey is in the oven, the stuffing is ready... Chandler: You know, you always cook this meal all by yourself. Let me help this year. Monica: Oh, Chandler, that's sweet. But you don't have to do everything Doctor Phil tells you to do. Chandler: I'm serious, let me do something, just not the turkey or the stuffing, nothing "high profile". Monica: Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it. Chandler: Tell me more. Monica: Okay, I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these (she gives Chandler a bowl with cranberries. Then, while she's going outside, she sees him with a bottle of soap in his hands) Not with soap!! (she leaves) Chandler: You obviously haven't tasted my Palmolive potatoes! (Ross and Joey enter) Ross: Hey! Hey, guess what Joey has! Joey: Three tickets to today's Rangers game!! Ross: Dude, I wanted him to guess. Joey: Oh. Chandler: Oh my God! Joey: Yeah, they're great seats too! Ross: Guess where they are? Joey: Center ice. Ross: Did I do something to you? Chandler: Hmm, the game's at one. Ross: So? Chandler: Dinner is at four, we'll never gonna make it back. Joey: So we'll leave before it's over, we'll be back in time. Chandler: You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up. Joey: Dude, two times that happened! Chandler: Look, Monica has been working hard all day, she didn't wanna host this thing in the first place, we shouldn't go! Ross: He's right, man. Joey: Right, I guess. Alright, so see you at four. Chandler: Okay. (pause) And get ready to taste my very special cranberries. Or should I say... chanberries! Joey: That's some gentle comedy, dude. (he and Ross leave) Ross: We're still going at the game, right? Joey: Yeah! Ross: Yeah. [Scene: Baby beauty contest] Host: This is contestant number sixteen, Rebecca... Phoebe: Hey. Rachel: Oh Phoebe, listen. Well, I think we gotta go. This place is really freaking me out. I've been watching this guy over there, I don't think he came with a kid! Phoebe: We can't leave now! There was this one baby, Haley, who was favourite to win and she got croup, so she had to stay home! This competition just blew wide open, folks! Rachel: Phoebe, I think... It's just too weird, I just saw a one year old running around with pantyhose on! Phoebe: Oh, I know, we should have been more prepared. (she looks around) It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron. Oh my God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms! Hello Michelin Man. Rachel: Oh, Phoebe! Come on! You know what, it's already three o'clock and they haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We gotta go, we got dinner! Phoebe: (panicking) But Emma's got what it takes, she could go all the way! Rachel: Phoebe, you have to calm down. Phoebe: Okay. Rachel, the hottest babies in the Tri-State Area are in this room right now! I overheard one of the judges say that not one of them holds a candle to Emma! Rachel: Really? Phoebe: Yeah! Rachel: You heard them say that? Phoebe: Yeah! Rachel: All right, okay. Alright, let's give to these babies something to cry about! Phoebe: Good! Oh yay! Let's get down to business! Emma needs some makeup! Rachel: No, what? Phoebe: Well, she's gonna look all washed out next to the other contestants! Rachel: No Phoebe, I am not letting you put makeup on my baby! Phoebe: Why not! Rachel: Because I already did! [Scene: Madison Square Garden] (there's a lot of shouting and yelling) Joey: Oh, Bob, get off the guy! Ross: Oh! What a game, huh? Joey: I know, yeah. Ross: I can't believe Chandler is missing this! Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair. Ross: Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away. Joey: Ohhhh! These seats are great! Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner! Joey: (looks at the time) Wow, hey, we'd better get going. If we don't leave right now, we'll be late for dinner. Ross: Oh, but it's a kind game! So we're a little late, you know, the girls will be there, let's stay just for one more goal. Joey: I don't know... Ross: One more fight! Joey: Okay. Ross: Okay. [Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment.] Monica: Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late! Chandler: I can't believe they are not here! I slve and I slve for what? They've ruined cranberry day! [Scene: The corridor. Ross and Joey have just arrived.] Joey: How late are we? Ross: Forty-five minutes. Joey: Wow (He opens his apartment door and throws their stuff in.) Ross: (handing him his coat) Here! Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger) Ross: You may want to lose the foam finger! Joey: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand! (Rachel, Phoebe and Emma arrive) Ross: Hey! Phoebe: Oh! Joey: You are not at Thanksgiving? Rachel: No... Phoebe: No, we're late! Rachel: What are you doing here! Ross: We're late too! (Rachel screams) Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls) Phoebe: Don't point that thing at me, Tribbiani! Ross: So, nobody's here? Monica's gonna kll us! Joey: Yeah, where were you! Ross: Yeah, yeah, what's with the trophy! Phoebe: Uh, we were at the Spelling Bee! Rachel: And I won! Ross: You won an adult Thanksgiving day spelling bee. Rachel: Yes! (spells it) Y-E-S. Yes! Ross: Let me see this... (he takes the trophy from Rachel's hands) Grand Supreme Little Darling, New York Division. Rachel: Yeah. That's me! Ross: You entered Emma into a Beauty Pageant? Phoebe: And it looks like she put makeup on her! Joey: Wait a second, wait a second, where have I seen that cowgirl outfit before... Ross: I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable! Rachel: She won a thousand dollars! Ross: So this is an annual thing? Joey: (realizing) Oh! That's Alicia Mae Emory's outfit! Phoebe: You guys, there are people in there who are not getting any happier! Ross: Yeah. What are we gonna do? Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap. Joey: All right. Hey Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia Mae. Phoebe: Alright, what are we gonna say? Ross: Ooh, we'll say that we were mugged! You can't get mad at someone who's been mugged! Phoebe: Oh, good, that's good, but you don't look like you were mugged! Joey: No. Here (he tears off the pocket from Ross' shirt, and tears off everything below that as well.) Ross: (to Joey) HEY! [Scene: Monica's apartment.] Monica: Do you hear something? (Chandlers stands up and goes to the door to look out from the peephole) Chandler: (peeping) They're out there! Monica: Ohhh! Let me see! Oh God, I can't believe this! They're an hour late and they're just staying out there, talking! Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game! Monica: (gasps) Oooh! They are in for a world of pain! Chandler: (looking through the peephole again) Ross' shirt is torn. Monica: Oh! They're late and they're sloppy! [Cut to the hall] (Rachel comes out of her apartment} Rachel: Alright, Emma is napping... (then to Ross) what happened to your shirt? Ross: I got mugged. And they stole my pocket. Phoebe: We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! (Others start to agree but she continues) OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her. Ross: (sarcastic) That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around. Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud) Ross: (Reading the note) We know you're out there. (Rachel gasps) Joey: (whispering) Who do you think its from? [time lapse – they are still in the hall] Rachel: Oh, God. This is bad. This is so bad. Ross: Well, let's just go in there and face them. Phoebe: Well, I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy. Joey: I hate that thing, it's like a... bolt of lightning. Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused). Joey: (smiling from ear to ear) Ah-haah! I win!! Ross: What is that? Joey: That's fre. Beats everything. Phoebe: Oh, really? Does it bat water balloon? (She places her hand over his "fre" and mimics a bursting water balloon, thus putting the fre out). Joey: Ooh! Well played, Phoebe Buffay, well played. Rachel: Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let's just all go in at the same time. All: Alright, okay. (Phoebe reaches for the door, and tries to open it but it's locked) Phoebe: It's locked. Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy". Rachel: Alright, come on... (starts to knock on the door) Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together. [cut to Monica and Chandler] Monica: No! Everything's cold. The turkey's dried out and the... the stuffing is all soggy. Chandler: Yeah, and there's a bowl of cranberry sauce that... (speaking lower to Monica) what happens to cranberry sauce? Monica: (Rolling her eyes) Nothing. It's fine. Chandler: (relieved) Oh thank God! [cut to the hall] Ross: Come on you guys, we're sorry, alri...? Our subway broke down. Chandler: (looking through the peephole) That's a lie, you went to the game, I can see Joey's hand. Ross: (to Joey, who is wearing a blue, 3 foot hand) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! (takes it off his hand and throws it on the floor) Rachel: You guys, come on, it doesn't matter why we're late. We're all here now, please let us in so we can have some of your delicious turkey. (A slice of turkey on a piece of aluminum foil is slid under door) Joey: I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that. (Ross picks it up) [cut to Monica and Chandler] Monica: That's all the turkey you're gonna get. [cut to the hall] Ross: How are we gonna decide who gets this? Joey: (holds his fist up) WATER BALLOON! (he stuffs the slice in is mouth and gives the foil back to Ross) Phoebe: What are we gonna do? I'm starving. Rachel: (gasps) Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning. Phoebe: Oh yeah! [cut to Monica and Chandler] Monica: Hey, you touch that and you will be sorry. Chandler: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler) [cut to the hall] (Rachel comes out of the apartment holding a pot. Joey holds in anticipation and Rachel opens it) Rachel: Huh... OH MY GOD IT'S BRUSSELS SPROUTS. (they all look appalled) Ross: That's worse than no food. [cut to Monica and Chandler] (Monica looks insulted) Chandler: HA-HA! All you got was Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts! Monica: Stinky?! Chandler: Please let me stay on this side of the door. [cut to hall] Rachel: Oh, I know... I still have my old key! (She goes in to get it and comes back with her keys) We can just unlock the door. Phoebe: Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us. Rachel: You know what? I don't want to be with them either, but it's Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together. (Goes to unlock the door) Joey: (to Ross) Just get in there and make a face to face apology, you know? Look them in the eye. I know I can get them to forgive us. Ross: I don't know... Joey: I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it. Ross: (Staring back, and then breaks off) (To Phoebe and Rachel) Yeah, he can do it! (Rachel finally manages to open the door, but the door chain is on.) Rachel: Oh! (Joey sticks his head through the gap. Monica and Chandler are now sitting at the dinner table. There is another smaller table full of food standing in front of the front door) (Monica and Chandler do not look amused by Joeys head in the door) Joey: Oh! It all looks so beautiful: the turkey, the stuffing... (Monica is now smiling) Chandler: The cranberries...? Monica: Oh! Enough! A monkey could have made 'em! Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible. Chandler: He's doing that weird eye contact thing. Don't look at him, don't look at him! (They both look away) Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys? (Ross head appears above Joey's, Rachel's below Joey's and Phoebe's at the bottom) Ross: I feel terrible. Phoebe and Rachel: So, so sorry. Joey: (smiling) Now let's not ruin this day. You worked so hard. Let's move past this and try to have a nice meal all together, huh? Chandler: The floating heads do make a good point. Monica: Yeah, they do seem to feel pretty bad. Rachel: So bad. Ross : So bad. Phoebe: So bad. Monica: (Gets up) Okay, okay. You two (to Phoebe and Rachel) go get the dessert. And I'll let you in. Rachel: Dessert? Monica: Yeah, I asked you and Phoebe to pick up the pies. You did remember, right? Phoebe: Pies, oh, we thought you said priiiize (goes to the hall and comes back with Emma's trophy in her hand). Here! (gives it to Monica). (Monica takes it and reads the label) Monica: Grand Supreme Little Darling? Rachel: Congratulatioooons! Monica: Oh my God! YOU FORGOT THE PIES? Well, I cannot believe this. You force me to make dinner, then you're an hour late and you forget the one little thing that I asked you to do. Ross: Really girls, not cool. Chandler: Well, you manheads aren't any better. You lied about going to the game. You knew it would make you late, and you still went anyway. Joey: Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this okay? We said we're sorry. It's Thanksgiving for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness! Ross: It's a day to be thankful. Joey: (to Ross, mouthing) Don't make me come up there! Monica: It's too late for apologies. Joey: Fine! Let's just go. I don't need your stupid dinner. Chandler: That would be a lot more convincing if you weren't drooling. Rachel: Ewww, is that what that is? Joey: Sorry! Phoebe: Come on you guys, let's just do our own Thanksgiving. Rachel: Yeah! I'll cook! Ross: Yeah! Let's go out. Rachel: Hey! Joey: Yeah! You three have a nice Thanksgiving. Monica: The three of us? Joey: Yeah! You, Chan, and the vein! (Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads) Joey: Ha! (When Joey tries to pull back his head, he notices he is stuck) Joey: Oh-oh! I'm stuck! Monica: Joey, that is not gonna work. Joey: No seriously... I'm really wedged in here. Phoebe: I'll pull you through. Ross: Okay. Joey: (in agony) aaw-ahhh-aaahhh STOP! STOP! I'm worried about damaging my head. Chandler: A little late for that. Joey: Alright, hurry up, you gotta do something. Monica: Alright, well, this does not change anything. (to Chandler) Okay, we need to get something to grease the sides of his face. Chandler: Uhm, we've got turkey grease. Monica: Bring it. Joey: I just wanna say that I'm sorry I referred to the vein as a seperate person... (Chandler gives Monica a footlong "eye dropper" with the turkey grease in it) Monica: Here you go! (She squirts some of the grease along Joey's face.) Joey: Oh, that smells good! (And he starts licking the grease which trickles down his face. Monica also squirts some on the other side of his face, and his tongue follows her movements.) Joey: Okay. Monica: Okay, try it. (Joey tries to pull back at all his might.) Joey: It isn't working. Monica: Alright, we're gonna have to unscrew the chain. Joey: Well hurry, I can't feel my ears! Chandler: Can you ever feel your ears? Joey: Interesting... Monica: Chandler, where are your tools? Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools! Monica: I do, but Rachel borrowed them. Rachel: I lent them to Ross. Ross: I gave them to Joey. Joey: I left them at the park. Monica: Oh! Ross: (looking at Joey's butt) I'm finding it really hard not to mess with him. Phoebe: I've already stuffed a bunch of Brussel sprouts down his pants. Ross: Nice! (The phone rings in Chandler and Monica's apartment) Monica: Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken. Joey: It's really starting to hurt. Chandler: Okay, look, I'm gonna pull on the door and you guys push as hard as you can. Maybe we can get enough room to wiggle him out, okay? Okay, so PUSH! Phoebe: Just a sec., we're kind in the middle of something here. (Rachel, Ross and Phoebe have their hands full and are stuffing all kinds of things down Joeys pants.) Joey: Ooh! Stop putting things down my pants! Chandler: Come on guys, PUSH! Joey: Yeah! Come on! Joey and Chandler: PUSH! PUSH! PUSH! (The chain breaks loose from the wall, and because Joey was pushing with all his might, he propells into the kitchen, towards the table with all the food. This table has wheels underneath it, and when Joey falls on this table, he rides into the living room, with all the food falling off, until finally Joey also falls off... Joey gets up quickly, a bit agitated, and acting as nothing happened. He is covered in food stains.) Chandler: My cranberries! Joey: (looking at himself) Man, I've got food all over me. (He licks his fingers, liking it. He offers Chandler a taste.) Chandler: Argh! I can't believe what you did. Monica's gonna k*ll you! (Monica enters from the spare bedroom.) Chandler: (to Monica) Look! Look! Look what the... Look what... Look what the floating heads did! Monica: (very emotional) I don't care. (Chandler can't believe what he's hearing. He looks at Monica, then at the others, then back at Monica.) Chandler: What's going on? Monica: That was the adoption agency... Chandler: And? Monica: WE'RE GETTING A BABY! Chandler: Are you serious? (they hug) Monica: There's a pregnant woman in Ohio, and she picked us! (They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him) Rachel: I'm so happy for you! Monica: This Thanksgiving kicks last Thanksgiving's ass! (They all cheer and hug again, but Joey's eating the food off his shirt) COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.] Rachel: To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio. Ross: I'm just so happy you guys are finally getting a kid. Phoebe: I know. Have you considered pageanting? Monica: I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby. (she kisses Chandler) Joey: Oh, I know how you feel... (Monica and Chandler are looking curiously at Joey.) Rachel: Really? Joey: Sure. I went through the exact same thing with Alicia Mae Emory... The waiting, the wandering... Then one day... I get that call from Toys "R" Us... She was in stock! Chandler: That is the exact same thing. THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x08 - The One With The Late Thanksgiving"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Scott Silveri Produced by: Robert Carlock and Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Final check by Kim [Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch.Monica and Chandler enter] Chandler: Hi! Ross: Hey! Monica: Hey! Chandler: We're just here to say goodbye, we're off to Ohio. Phoebe: Oh, right! Your adoption interview! Monica: Yep, we're gonna meet the lady who could be carrying our baby. Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird! Chandler: And so incorrect! Monica: She's only a couple of months pregnant. She liked our application but who knows if she's gonna like us. Ross: Come on, she's gonna love you guys! Chandler: Uhm, thank you, but we're really trying not to get our hopes up. Monica: And a lot could still get in our way. Chandler: Yeah. I mean, this girl could decide against adoption or she could like another couple better.. Phoebe: What are you gonna name the baby? Chandler: I can develop a condition in which I talk and talk and no one hears a word. Joey: But just think, ok? What if everything goes right? What if this woman does pick you guys? Monica: Oh my God. She's gonna pick us! Chandler: So we're standing firm on the 'not getting our hopes up'? Monica: You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby! Chandler: Yes, but... Monica: Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and (to Chandler) you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me... A BABY! {she leaves) Chandler: Oh, screw it, I'm gonna be a daddy!! OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's speaking to a girl.] Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, who's Phoebe with? Joey: I'm gonna say someone I'm gonna have sex with. (the girl leaves and Phoebe goes toward the couch) (to Phoebe) Hey! Phoebe: Hey! Joey: So... who's your friend? Phoebe: Oh, that's Sarah. No, no. Don't you get any ideas, ok? No, I'm not setting you up with any more of my friends! Joey: OW, why, why, why? Phoebe: Because you'll date her once, sleep with her and then forget she exists! Joey: Oh, name one friend of yours that I did that with. Phoebe: Mandy. Joey: Mandy, uh? Uh... really hot blonde, big boobs? Phoebe: No. Joey: I know why I don't remember her, huh? (he winks at Rachel) Rachel: Do you think I'm someone else? Joey: Ok, I may not have treated your friends well in the past, but I have grown up a lot, really. Honest, Rach? Rachel: Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else! Joey: (pointing at himself) Growth! Phoebe: Fine, I'll give you her number. Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy. Phoebe: SARAH! Joey: Saraaah. Ross: (entering) Hey! Rachel: Hi! Ross: Hey you guys, I need some fashion advice. Rachel: Oh! Ross: (he takes a baby blue beret out of a shopping box and puts it on) How does this look? Rachel: Well, it's a little low... pick up a little... (Ross picks it up) a little bit more... (he picks it up again) a little bit more... (he takes it off) There you go! (pause) Now throw it away! Ross: C'mon! This looks good! Rachel: Ross, please, trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month. Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that... NATO guy is, but I do know that you have to get as far away as you can from that hat. Ross: Damnit! I have this date tomorrow night and I have to look cool! Phoebe: Well, you know, if you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow. You're more than welcome to come with us, right? Ross: Really? That would be great. I mean, I have to do something, she kinda teased me about how I dress. Joey: I can see why, nice shirt! Ross: You're wearing the same shirt. Joey: Stupid Gap on every corner! [Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are entering with a man.] Agency guy: Please, make yourself comfortable and I will back in a moment with Erica. Monica: Ok, thank you.(the man leaves) Uh, well this is it. Are you OK? Chandler: Yeah. Just weird, you know. It's like: "Hi, I'm Chandler. May I have the human growing inside you?" Monica: Uh, we're gonna be great. Chandler: You're gonna be great. Monica: Well... obviously! Agency guy: (he enters with Erica) Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica. Monica: Hi. It is so, so nice to meet you. Erica: (whispering) Hi... Chandler: Thank you so much for agreeing to see us. Erica: Hi. Agency guy: I'll let you get acquainted. Chandler: Ok. Erica: So, it's Monica and Chandler. I only know you as file 0W33815-D. Chandler: That's what our friends call us. Erica: Gosh, you know, you're just such an amazing couple. It's... kind of intimidating. Monica: I don't know about that. Erica: You're kidding me? I mean, it's enough that you are a doctor. But on top of it, you're married to a reverend? Chandler: (astonished) I don't think that's exactly... Monica: (overlapping) Let her finish, doctor. [Scene: Central Perk] Phoebe: Hey! Joey: Hey. Phoebe: Oh, my friend Sarah had a great time last night. Joey: Well... Phoebe: Yeah! So you're gonna call this one back? Joey: Nope. Phoebe: What are you talking about? Sarah's great! Joey: Oh, really? You know what your great friend did? We're out to dinner, ok? (he starts talking about the date and we can see what happened through a flashback video) We're getting along, having a really nice time. I was thinking she was really cool. And then, out of nowhere... (Sarah picks up some fries from Joey’s plate and Joey looks very angry. Then we’re back to Central Perk and Joey does a you-see-what-I-mean look to Phoebe) Phoebe: That’s it? That’s why you won’t go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal! Joey: Hey, hey, look! It’s not about a few fries... it’s about what the fries represent. Phoebe: What? Joey: ALL FOOD! Phoebe: I’m sorry, I can’t believe I set you up with such a MONSTER! Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look. I take a girl out, she can order whatever she wants! The more, the better! All right? Just don’t order a Garden salad and then eat my food! That’s a good way to lose some fingers! (Rachel enters from the main door) Phoebe: (to Rachel) Oh Rachel: Hi Phoebe: Thank God you’re here. Listen to this! Rachel: what? Phoebe: Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries... Rachel: Oh! Oh, no! (Joey looks satisfied) Phoebe: What? You know about the plate thing? Rachel: Oh, yeah. Joey doesn’t share food. I mean, just last week we were having breakfast and he had a couple of grapes on his plate and ... Phoebe: (to Joey) You wouldn’t let her have a grape? Rachel: Oh no! Not me! Emma! (Phoebe looks horrified and she turns to watch Joey) Joey: (mad and pointing a finger to himself) JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD! Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table! Joey: (he thinks a little, considering the option and seems to be quite satisfied) I like that! A sharing buffer! Yeah! I’ll order some extra fries! Maybe a plate of onion rings. Yeah. And a shrimp cocktail. And some buffalo wings. Maybe an individual pizza, uh? And some mozzarella sticks. (he looks absorbed in his food thoughts) What were we talking about? [Scene: A clothes store. Ross and Phoebe are shopping] Phoebe: (to Ross) This place is awesome! Ross: You know, we should just go, I’m not gonna find anything here! This stuff is ridiculous! (Rachel arrives with a lot of clothes) Rachel: Ah, this place is great! Phoebe: Wow! Ross: Rach, come on, I’m not gonna wear any of this! (he picks up a shirt) Nothing silver. (Rachel sighs). Ok? Nothing with hair! (Rachel sighs again) And nothing with padlocks on it! (Rachel heaves a long disappointing sigh). Rachel: Ross, look, I know that some of this stuff is out there, but I mean, come on, look at this, look at this sweater! (she picks up a blue sweater). I mean, this is just beautiful! Ross: (feeling the fabric) Wow, this is really soft (he looks the price). Three hundred and fifty dollars? Rachel: Yeah, down from seven hundred, you are saving like two hundred bucks! Ross: Both logic and math are taking a serious h*t today. Phoebe (walking to Ross carrying a black leather jacket): Hey, check this out! It’s totally you! Ross: Wow! Phoebe: Yeah! (Ross wears the jackets and look at himself in the mirror) Ross: Actually this looks like pretty good! Yeah!(he turns and watches his back and there’s a sign on the back of the jacket, “boys will be boys”) Boys will be boys? Phoebe: What? They will be! Ross: All right, that’s it, I’m getting out of here. Rachel: No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there’s other stuff. Here’s a nice shirt, look at these nice pants... Ross: Uh, actually these might look pretty good on me. Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you. Ross: Really? Rachel: Yes! And I know what looks sexy on guys. Please, just wear what I suggest, and she’s gonna go nuts for you. Ross: So, you’re saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers? Rachel: (to Phoebe) Why do men keep talking to me like this? [Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are still talking with Erica.] Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you? Erica: Yeah, I read some great applications, but then I thought “who better then a minister to raise a child!” Monica: Amen. Chandler: Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor! Monica: Uh, good hands. (she holds Chandler hands) Healing hands. Erica: Reverend, can I ask? Does the bible say anything about adoption? Monica: It says “Do it!”. And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good. Erica: Wow. Chandler: Yeah, wow. Erica: I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. (to Monica) Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock? Monica: Oh, you know, my flock is good, I mean, yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves at this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock. Erica: (to Chandler) Being a doctor must take up a lot of time. Chandler: No-ot for me it doesn’t. (The agency guy enters the room) Agency guy: So, how’s everything going in here? Erica: We’re great, I think I may have asked all my questions. Agency guy: Do you have any question for Erica? Chandler: Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us? Agency guy: Yes, our system assures total anonimity. We’re very proud of it. Chandler: You should be. You’re really on top of stuff.. Agency guy: (to Erica) Well, then if there’s nothing else, then the two of us should talk. Erica: Actually, I don’t think we have to. Monica: We don’t? Erica: Yeah, when I read about you two, I was pretty sure I wanted you, but I just thought we should meet face to face. (to the agency guy). I've made my decision. I choose them. Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that? Chandler: Yeah, I did. Monica: (to Erica) Hey, thank you. Thank you so much. (they hugs). You are SO going to Heaven! [Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel and Phoebe walk in, loaded with bags.] Rachel: We got some really great stuff! Phoebe: Yeah, yeah but I am not sure about some of the bra's I got. Rachel: Oh! Really? Do you wanna try some of them on for me? Phoebe: Oh! okay. Wait, are we in Joey's imagination? Rachel: (looking into one of her shopping bags) Oh no! I took one of Ross' bags by mistake, and one of mine is missing. Phoebe: oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later. [Scene: Ross walks into Central Perk, wearing a pink and white ladies shirt. Joey is on the couch] Ross: (to Joey) So? What do you think? (Shows himself - Joey observes him with a strange look on his face.) Joey: I think were not wearing the same shirt anymore!! Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here. Joey: (now laughing a little) Dude, I really don't think you should be wearing that. Ross: Oh, I see, somebody is afraid of a little competition with the ladies? Joey: (looking a little agitated now) Looks like someone IS the ladies!! Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME! [Scene: Monica and Chandler's hotel room. They enter.] Chandler: We are NOT signing those papers. Monica: Why not? Chandler: It's wrong. They made a mistake. They think we're somebody else. Monica: God works in mysterious ways. Chandler: You have gotta stop! Monica: But she liked us. Chandler: She likes Doctor Chandler and Reverend Monica. Monica: Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor. (looks very convinced about what she just said) Chandler: Your Veal Chop is $34,95! Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now. Chandler: But we are not the one she chose! How can you feel okay about this? Monica: (very emotional) Because... We may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us. Chandler: I know.. Monica: I mean, who knows how long it's gonna take for someone else to give us a baby? What if, what if no one ever picks us? Chandler: oh, honey.. Monica: (Almost crying) Please.. please, we are so close. Chandler: Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to. Monica: (realizes Chandler is right. She's almost crying) okay, right. (They hug) Chandler: So, we'll tell the truth and who knows, maybe she'll like us for us. Monica: (sniffing) Maybe she will. Uh! Why couldn't I have been a Reverend? Chandler: You're Jewish. Monica: Technicality! [Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.] Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down) Joey: Oh, that looks great! Good ordering! Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy! Sarah: Mmmh, those fries look delicious. Joey: oh, I didn't know you liked French fries. Help yourself! What's mine is yours. (Sarah reaches over and takes a few fries) Sarah: (looks over at Joey's platter) Oh wow, are those stuffed clams? Joey: Uuuh.. yes, they are my stuffed clams. (Sarah, is grinning and starts to reach over to Joey's plate to take a few clams) Joey: How about those fries though, huh? (Holds the plate between Sarah’s fingers and his plate, thus blocking her from reaching his) Sarah: They are delicious (takes a few from the plate, puts one in her mouth and places the rest on her plate, then starts to reach over to Joey's platter again) Joey: (Spotting her movements takes her hand into his own) You are beautiful, you know that? Sarah: Oh, that is so sweet.. Joey: Oh (grinning, trying to hold in his impatience with her) okay.. (she takes her hand back) (Then she reaches over again and Joey moves his plate a little to the left, and she misses, then she reaches out again, and he moves his plate to the right , so she misses again. She tries a third time and this time, Joey pushes his plate so far to the left, it drops off the edge of the table) Joey: (Visibly annoyed) NOW look what you did!! Sarah: What? what is the matter with you? Joey: I don't like it when people take food off of my plate, okay? Sarah: But you just said "What's mine is yours"? Joey: WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT! Sarah: Fine, I'm sorry, I didn't think it was that big a deal. Joey: I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean (bends down and with his plate and his hands, scrapes the dropped dinner back onto the plate and puts it back on the table) There are things you do..and you now, things.. (takes something from the plate and blows it a little) that you don't do (He takes a bite from it). (Sarah looks a little disgusted) [Scene: Ross and his date walk into a lobby. They are both wearing their jackets] Girl: Wow, this place looks great. Ross: Oh! You are gonna love it! (The girl is looking in the other direction as Ross is taking off his own coat, revealing the pink and white ladies shirt) and I'm so glad, we're finally doing this. Girl: Me too! (starts to take her coat off) Ross: Here (gets behind her to help. When the coat comes off we see she is wearing the exact same shirt Ross is wearing. They look at each other, shocked. They abruptly put their coat back on) So this was fun! (They leave the room and head into opposite directions) [Scene: Back at the restaurant with Joey and Sarah. Joey is holding Sarah's hands] Joey: I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you. Sarah: Sure (smiling) Just not as much as clams. Joey: (Jokingly) Well, stuffed clams. (The waiter arrives with their deserts) Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman. Joey: Uh, excuse me sir, there seems to be some sort of red crap on my cheesecake. Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule. Joey: (More to himself than anyone else) So stupid, ordering cheesecake, trying to be healthy. (pushes it aside) Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey) Joey: Oh, all right, I'll just have what she's having instead. Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece. Sarah: Mmmm! Mmm! (Sarah's beeper starts bleeping) Sarah: Oh, no! This is work. I should call in. Can you excuse me? Joey: Oh yeah, sure. No problem. (Joey's looking at Sarah's dessert, and takes her plate.) Sarah: What are you doing? I thought you don't share food. Joey: Sure I do. (holding up his own dessert) Coule? Sarah: (laughing) No. If I can't have your clams, you can't have my dessert. This is a two way street. Joey: (laughing) Really? Sarah: Really! Now this all better be here when I come back. (puts her plate back at her side of the table) Joey: Yeah, of course. I can control myself. (laughs uneasily and Sarah leaves the room) (Joey sits sideways on his chair, looking at Sarah's chocolate torte, and then looking away from it, nervously playing with his fork, drumming with it on the table every now and then.) Joey: (to the torte) Stop staring at me! (He then straightens himself, and looks at the torte) Joey: Why, just a tiny little... (He takes a little piece of Sarah's dessert. At first he doesn't think it's that special, but then...) Joey: Oh-oh! TIME LAPSE (Sarah enters the room again, and stops when she sees her dessert is missing. Joey has emptied her plate, and has a chocolate covered mouth, just like a kid.) Joey: I'm not even sorry. [Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are entering.] Erica: Hi! Adoption Agency guy: Hey. Chandler: Hey. Agency guy: So, these are the preliminary forms for an open adoption. There's a lot to go over, but I'll explain everything as we go through it. Monica: (pointing to a picture on the table) I-Is... Is that a picture? Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. (gives it to Monica, who looks at it for a long time, and then shows it to Chandler) Monica: Look, doctor! (Chandler takes Monica's hand, and gets serious) Look, before we sign anything we really have to talk...(pause) We're not who you think we are. Agency guy: I don't understand. Chandler: The agency must have made some mistake. My wife is not a reverend and I'm not a doctor. Erica: What? Agency guy: That's impossible. Chandler: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like. Agency guy: I'll go check your file. Excuse me. Erica: So who are you? Chandler: Well, our names really are Monica and Chandler. We're from New York. Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. (holds up the sonogram) Erica: So you lied to me before? Monica: Well, we... (makes quotation signs in the air) "bore false witness"... See I could be a reverend. Erica: I can't believe this. Monica: But we were hoping that since we told you the truth that you still might consider... Erica: Giving you my baby? You think I'd give you my child after this? Monica: Well, you don't have to decide right now, but if you could just look at our file... Erica: I don't want to look at your file! This is over. (She leaves the room, but Chandler runs after her. They meet in the hallway.) Chandler: Erica wait! Erica: I've nothing to say to you. (walks a few paces) Chandler: You have every reason to be upset. We did lie. But only because we've been waiting and trying to have a baby for so long. Now we don't know how long it's gonna be before we can get another chance again. Erica: Why don't you ask the reverend to pray on it? Chandler: Erica, please. Just consider us. Ask them to see our file. Our last name's Bing. My wife's a chef and I'm in advertising. Erica: Oh yeah. I actually liked you guys. But it doesn't matter, because what you did was wrong. (walks away again, but Chandler catches up with her again) Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please? (They look at each other. We switch back to Monica. Chandler opens the door and she turns to look at him.) Chandler: You still want that baby? (Monica plays those words back in her mind and then smiles and runs to Chandler, who is twisting with joy. They hug.) Monica: God bless you Chandler Bing! COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Central Perk. Joey's on the couch when Ross walks to him, with his jacket closed.] Ross: Turns out this sweater is made for a woman. Joey: (nods) So, why are you still wearing it? Ross: Because it's soft... Hey, so how was your date? Joey: Ooh... Not so good. Ross: Well, looks like it's just the two of us tonight, huh old buddy? Joey: Yeah, and you know what? We could do a lot worse. (they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.) Joey: (shouting to Ross) JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD! (Ross puts the piece back on the plate) end	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x09 - The One With The Birth Mother"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Doty Abrams Produced by: Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Flashback clips transcribed by: Guineapig, Dan Silverstein, Ruth Curran, Eric Aasen and Mindy Mattingly Phillips, and compiled by Eleonora. Final check by Kim [Scene: Central Perk. Everybody's sitting on the couch and Monica is eating a chunk of cake.] Monica: (really excited) Mmh... this cake is amazing! Rachel: My God, get a room! Monica: I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time! Phoebe: If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex? Monica: (with no hesitation) Sex! Chandler: (looking at her) Seriously, answer faster! Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"! Chandler: (to Phoebe) It's like a giant hug. Phoebe: Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food? Ross: Food. Phoebe: Ok, how about... uhm... sex or dinosaurs? Ross: Oh my God. It's like Sophie's Choice. Rachel: Oh God. What about you, Joe? What would you give up, sex or food? Joey: Uhm... oh... I don't know, it's too hard. Rachel: No, you gotta pick one! Joey: Oh... food. No, sex. Food! Sex! Food! Se-I don't know! Good God, I don't know, I want girls on bread! OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.] Rachel: You gotta see these latest pictures of Emma. Phoebe: Oh, how cute! Rachel: Yeah. Phoebe: Oh, she looks just like a little doll! Rachel: Oh, no, no. That is a doll. Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman) Rachel: Oh. Who is the blonde, she's pretty. Phoebe: OH! He's having an affair. Rachel: He's not having an affair! Phoebe: You know, I'm always right about these things. Rachel: No, you're not! Last week you thought Ross was trying to kll you! Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her! Rachel: Oh, that doesn't mean anything. Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler) Chandler: (picking up the phone) Hello. Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel. Chandler: Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day. Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember". Chandler: Those are all really old! Phoebe: Ok, then maybe it'll be, uhm... Rachel: (whispering) "Dude, Where's My Car?" Phoebe: (glancing at her) What? Rachel: They're in a caaar... Phoebe: (to Chandler at the phone) Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye. Rachel: Geez! Phoebe: Ok. Quick. We gotta find a cab and follow them. Rachel: Oh, yeah, ok. Let me just grab my night vision goggles and my stun gn. Phoebe: (patting her bag) I got them! [Scene: Monica’s apartment. Chandler enters the door.] Chandler: Hi! Monica: Hey! You smell like perfume and cigarettes. Chandler: I was in the car with Nancy all day. Monica: Nancy doesn’t smoke! Chandler: Well, at least the perfume is not mine, be thankful for that! Monica: So? What do you think of the house? Chandler: It’s perfect. It’s everything we’ve been looking for. Monica: Isn’t it? Then what about the amazing wainscotting and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic? Chandler: And the wiggle wharms and the zip zorps? (pause) What were the things you said? Monica: Don’t you love the huge yard? Chandler: And the fireplace in the bedroom. Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents! Chandler: This is bringing out a lovely color in you! Monica: So? Do you think we should get it? Chandler: I don’t know. What do you think? Monica: I think we should. Chandler: I do too. Monica: This is huge! Chandler: I know. Monica: How bad you wanna smoke, right now. Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day. Monica: Gotcha. When do we tell them about this? Chandler: We don’t. Not until it's a hundred percent. I mean, why upset everybody over nothing. Monica: Okay. Right. Oh my God that is gonna be so hard. Chandler: I know. Gooooood luck with it. [Scene: Joey’s apartment. Everybody except Monica and Chandler is there.] Ross: I just can’t see Chandler cheating! Rachel: I’m telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy! Joey: Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right. I just can’t believe he would do this to Monica! Ross: I know, and with the baby coming? Phoebe: So, should we tell her? Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you? Phoebe: Why? Who’d you seen him with? Ross: No one, I’m just saying if... (Phoebe starts pinching him in his neck) Phoebe: TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW! Ross: (yelling in pain) I know nothing! Mike’s a great guy, it was hypothetical! Phoebe: All right. (she releases him). He is a good guy. You’re right, he wouldn’t cheat. Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there’s no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again) Phoebe : WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH? [Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica is cleaning with a vacuum and then she cleans it with a dust buster. The guys enter the room.] Rachel: Oh, look at her, so happy! Monica: If only there were a smaller one to clean this one! Joey: Hey, is uhm... is Chandler here? Monica: No, he’s picking up dinner, why, what’s up? Phoebe: Well, look, whatever happens, we’re here for you and we love you. Monica (puzzled): All right... Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair. Monica: What? Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester. Phoebe: They went in together. So sorry. Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God that’s awful! What did you think of the house? (they all look confused and sorry for her) Phoebe: What? Joey: (walking towards her to hold her and support her) Monica, you understand what we are saying, right? Monica: Yeah, sure... uhm, I'm devastated, obviously... (to the rest) Did you think the neighborhood was homey? (Chandler enters) Chandler: Hey! Joey: (to Chandler) You son of a bitch! Chandler: Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here? Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair. Rachel: Who's Nancy? Ross: What's going on? Monica: (turns to them) Ok, alright, you guys, you'd better sit down, this is pretty big. Chandler: Yeah (motions them to sit and they do) I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor. Joey: I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!! Phoebe: Why do you have a realtor? Monica: Uhm, she has been showing us houses outside of the city. Joey: (clearly shocked) What? Rachel: Are you serious? Monica: When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city. Phoebe: So you're gonna move? Ross: Oh my God. Joey: Shouldn't we all vote on stuff like this?! Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it! Monica: And that's great for you guys, but we want a lawn and a swingset... Chandler: ...and a street where our kids can ride their bikes and maybe an ice-cream truck can go by. Ross: (sarcastic) So you wanna buy a house in the 50's? Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door? Ross: You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's okay. Joey: No, no, it's not, don't listen to him! (to Ross) I'm gonna thump you! (points his fist at him) Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be. (pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words) Chandler: Actually, we already found a house we love. Ross: What? Monica: And about an hour ago, we made an offer. (All the friends looked shocked and confused. There is a long silence.) Chandler: Bet you wish I was having an affair now, huh? TIME LAPSE Ross: You put an offer on a house? Monica: (smiling) It's so sweet. It really is. It has this big yard that leads down to this stream and then there's these old maple trees... (gets cut off) Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers? Chandler: I know this is really hard and we're really sorry. Joey: Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? (Walks towards the fridge) Because I can stop doing that, (looks at the fridge) I really, really think I can! Chandler: (goes towards Joey) You know that's not the reason Joe. (Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth. He goes back to where he was standing before) Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it? Rachel: Yeah it is. Joey: What the hell are you doin'? Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live! Phoebe: Yeah, but so is this. Ross: Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place? [We fade to some flashback scenes.] (from 1.01 - "The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate - The Pilot") Rachel: (talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy! Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble. Rachel: Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica. Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica... (from 1.18 - "The One With All the Poker") Ross: That money is mine, Green! Rachel: You're fly is open, Geller! Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence? Chandler: Hey, that's...'joincidence' with a 'C'! (from 1.07 - "The One With The Blackout") Phoebe: [looking outside the window] Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles. [They all look at the window, grossed out, then flinch in pain.] Rachel: Ow, that had to hurt! (from 3.09 - "The One With All the Football") Phoebe: Hey, it’s your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help. The Guys: We will. (they don’t move) Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmallows in concentric circles. Rachel: No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this. (Rachel sticks a marshmallow into Monica’s nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blwing.) Monica: Every year. (from 5.08 - "The One With the Thanksgiving Flashbacks") Joey: (he has a turkey on his head) It's stuck!!! Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on? Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler! Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out! Joey: It smells really bad in here. Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass! (They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.) Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that? Joey: It's Joey. (from 4.12 - "The one With the Embryos") Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster? Rachel: Oooohh that’s interesting. Chandler: If you win, we give up the birds. Joey: (shocked) Dah!! (Chandler motions for him to calm down.) Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment. Joey: Oooooh! Monica: Deal! TIME LAPSE Ross: What was Monica’s nickname when she was a field hockey goalie? Joey: Big fat goalie. Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie… Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons. Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is... Joey: Weekend at Bernie’s. Ross: Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there? (They both confer) Joey: Everyday use. Chandler: Fancy. Joey: Guest. Chandler: Fancy guest. Ross: Two seconds... Joey: Uhh, 11! Ross: 11, unbelievable, 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) Ross: (to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl’s breast? Rachel: 14? Ross: No, 19. Chandler: Thanks man. Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was? Monica: Maurice. Ross: Correct, his profession was? Rachel: Space cowboy! Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing’s job? (The girls are stumped) Rachel: Ow...Oh Gosh! Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game. Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding. Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, he’s a transponce—transpondster! Monica: That’s not even a word! (Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.) Monica: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! TIME LAPSE (The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph) Rachel: Y’know what, you are mean boys, who are just being mean! Joey: Hey, don’t get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes! Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me! Monica: Hey, we would still be living here if hadn’t gotten the question wrong! Rachel: Well it stupid, unfair question! Ross: Don’t blame the questions! Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us! (from 5.15 - "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey") Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here! Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window) Monica: (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro? (Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.) Ross: What the hell are doing?!! Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?! Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica. Joey: (panicking) Dude! He's right there! Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this! Chandler: Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her. Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but iit-t's true, I love him too. (There's a brief pause.) Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.) (from 6.06 - "The One On The Last Night") Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I’m just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?" Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler. Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore. Monica and Rachel: What?! Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you! Rachel: Well, Phoebe that’s fine because I’m not moving. Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y’know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y’know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she’ll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I’d like. Phoebe: What else? Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror. Rachel: Yeah, I do. I-I do, do that. Phoebe: That’s nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom. Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket. Rachel: Well y’know, I don’t want you to be cold. Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.) TIME LAPSE (Monica closes the door and slowly walks into Rachel’s old and now empty room.) Chandler: (entering) Hey. Monica: She really left. Chandler: I know. (He kisses her.) Monica: Thank you. Chandler: No problem roomie. (She turns around and hugs him.) Monica: Can I ask you a question? Chandler: Sure! Monica: What the hell is that dog doing here?! (She notices the dog sitting in the living room.) (from 1.09 - "The One Where Underdog Gets Away") Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked. All: That's so sweet. Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas. Rachel: And a crappy New Year. Chandler: Here, here! [Scene: We're back to the present. Chandler and Monica's. They're all still at the kitchen table.] Rachel: You can't move. You just... you just can't. Joey: Rachel's right. This is where you guys belong. Phoebe: Yeah, you don't wanna live in Westchester. That's like the worst of the Chesters. Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back) Rachel: Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... (nods towards Ross) maybe close your blinds at night. (The phone rings and Chandler goes to get it) Chandler: Hello? It's Nancy, they responded to our offer. Monica: And? (Chandler listens to what Nancy says) Chandler: (to Nancy) Okay, thanks... (to Monica) They passed. They said they wouldn't go a penny under the asking price. Monica: We can't afford that. Chandler: I know. Monica: Well, there you go. (Chandler and Monica hug) Joey: I'm really sorry you guys. Ross: Yeah. I'm sorry too. I'm even more sorry that that phone call didn't come before I told you about looking through the window. Rachel: Yeah, we're gonna let you be alone. Phoebe: (to Monica) You're gonna be okay? Monica: Yeah, we'll be okay. Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.) Joey: You know, I'm really sorry I wasn't more supportive before. Chandler: That's okay, we understand. Joey: And about this Nancy thing... If you're not sleeping with her, should I? (Chandler gives Joey her business card, which he eagerly grabs and he leaves.) Monica: I know there'll be other houses, but it's just so... I love that one so much. Chandler: Yeah... Well, it's a good thing we got it then. Monica: What? Chandler: We got the house. Monica: Oh my God! Chandler: I just didn't want to tell you in front of them. Monica: Oh my God! My God! We've got the house !? Chandler: We're getting the house. (they hug) We're getting the house. Monica: And a baby... Chandler: We're growing up. Monica: We sure are. Chandler: So who's gonna tell them? Monica: (quickly) Not it! Chandler: Not it! Damn it! COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Central Perk. The entire gng is there, and Chandler and Monica are handing out presents.] Monica: Rachel, this is yours. Rachel: Aah! Why? What are these for? Chandler: You'll see. Monica: All right, everybody open them! (they all tear off the wrapping paper) Rachel: Ooh! Oh wow this is so beautiful. (she got a scarf) Phoebe: Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store. (she got earrings) Monica: I know. Ross: I love this. (he got a sweater) Joey: A meatball Sub? Thanks! (he got a meatball sandwich) Ross: Seriously you guys, what's going on? What are these for? Chandler: Well, I didn't know how to tell you before, but... We got the house. Monica: Enjoy! (they both run off, leaving Ross, Phoebe and Rachel stunned.) Joey: (speaking with his mouth full, enjoying his sandwich) What did they say? THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x10 - The One Where Chandler Gets Caught"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Final check by Kim [Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch. Monica and Joey enter.] Joey: Hey guys! Monica: Hey, let me tell them! Joey: Sure. Monica: Joey is gonna be a celebrity guest on a game show! Phoebe: Great! Ross: Really? Which one? Monica: (stopping Joey from answering) Ohh! Fish, seaweed, a sunken ship. Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!! Monica: Oh, that was our favourite game show ever! Ross: Except for "Match game"... Monica: Or "Win, Lose or Draw". Chandler: What did I marry into? Joey: Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show? Monica: Oh, I can't. We're throwing Phoebe a bachelorette party. Phoebe: Yeah, sorry boys, this ride's closing. Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond. Joey: Seriously? Ross: (very excited) Yeah-uh! Monica: Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie. Chandler: You guys just keep getting cooler and cooler! Monica: Yeah, we used to perform for our family and friends. Rachel: Oh God, that's right. I blocked that out. Monica: (singing) "I'm a little bit country"... Ross: (singing) "...and I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll"! Chandler: (to Monica) I'm leaving you. OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross and Chandler enter.] Ross: So weird to see all these people again... Oh my God, look, there's Geoffrey Cleric. Chandler: Who? Ross: He was roommates with John Rosoff. He went out with Andrea Tamburino. She dumped him for Michael Skloff. Chandler: (looking around) Did I go to this school? Ross: Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her. Chandler: (looks over at her) Sure, nice. Ross: Dude. You're married to my sister. Chandler: You're right, by saying "nice" I'm virtually licking her. Ross: Hey, I hear she's single again, d'you think I should ask her out? Chandler: Are you asking permission to break the pact? Ross: Yes please. [Flashback, year 1987. Chandler enters the school's corridor. Ross is hanging some flyers on the wall. Both have a funny 80s hair and clothes.] Ross: Hey. Hey, check out the flyers for the band. I made 'em on a Macintosh in the computer room! Chandler: Awesome, the name really stands out. Ross: Thanks to a little something called "Helvetica Bold 24 point"! Chandler: Man, we're gonna rock that Asian student union! Missy: Hey guys! Chandler: Hey! Ross: Hey, Missy... Chandler: You know, our band is playing on Friday. Ross: Yeah, yeah. You should come check us out. We're called "Way! No Way!". Missy: No way! Chandler and Ross: Way! Missy: Right. I'll be there. (she leaves) Chandler: Fresh! Ross: Boss! Chandler: Mint! Ross: She's gone. Chandler: I know it. You know, I'm totally gonna ask her out. Ross: Dude, I was gonna ask her out. Chandler: I said it first, bro. Ross: Well, I thought it first, Holmes. Chandler: (angrily) Look, if you did... Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want. Chandler: Totally. I had sex in High school... Ross: Me too. I'm good at it. Chandler: All right, I'd say we make a pact. Neither of us will go out with Missy Goldberg. Ross: You got it. Chandler: All right, so that's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald, who neither of us can go out with. Ross: Those are the pacts! Chandler: Oh, and Sheena Easton. But we probably couldn't get her anyway. Ross: Oh, oh... maybe not you! [We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.] Chandler: Well, I officially give you permission to break the pact. Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college? Chandler: Your hands are shaking. Ross: I know, and I can't stop sweating. (he walks towards Missy) [Scene: The "Pyramid" Studio.] Voice: Five! Four! Three! Applause! Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him) Joey: (to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer. Donny: ...should be playing with the star of "General Hospital" Leslie Charleson. (applause) Welcome everybody. Good luck to all of you. Let's play Pyramid. All right? Now... we flipped a coin before the show, Gene, you won the toss, so you're gonna start. Which category would you like? Gene: I'll take "You crossed the line". Donny: You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go! Joey: (on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my... Gene: Diary. Joey: Noo, (whispering) more like a notebook... Damn it! (next word appears: "blueprint") Oh, if I'm building an house, the plan isn't called the 'shmoo-print'... Can't say that either? Woha... hey... (the last word is "Football field" and there are 5 seconds left) In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the... Gene: Cafeteria. Joey: Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. (time's finished) OOOH! [Scene: Monica's apartment, where Phoebe's bachelorette party is taking place.] Phoebe: (to Rachel) Thank you so much for this. Rachel: Oh, d'you like it? Phoebe: Oh my God, it's all so elegant! When's the dirty stuff starting? Rachel: What? Phoebe: You know, the strippers, and the guys dancing, and you know, pee-pee's flying about. Rachel: Pheebs, I... there isn't gonna be any flying about! We actually thought we were a little too mature for stuff like that. Phoebe: Oh, ok. I see what you're doing, that's fine. This is all there is, just tea, uh, ok. (she drinks her tea) Hmmmm... raunchy! Rachel: Seriously Pheebs, it's not gonna be that kind of a party. Phoebe: Really? So this is... this is my big send off in the married life? Rachel this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have! I've got a big wad of ones in my purse! Really? I mean, really? It's just tea? Rachel: Nooo! Phoebe, of course there is more! I mean, I'll just go and talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pee's! [Scene: Joey's at the game show "Pyramid" with host Donny Osmond.] Donny: Now Gene I must remind you, you need all six of these to stay in the game, all right? Describe for Joey things you find in your refrigerator. Joey: Ahaha, he might as well just give us the points. Donny: Give me twenty seconds on the clock. Ready? Go! (the first word is cream) Gene: You put this in your coffee. Joey: A spoon. Your hands. Your face! Gene: It's white! Joey: Paper, snow, a ghost! Gene: It's heavier then milk! Joey: A rock, a dog, the earth. Gene: Pass! (the second word is mayonnaise) Gene: You put this on a sandwich. Joey: Salami, anchovies, jam! Gene: It's white! Joey: Paper, snow, a ghost! Gene: It's made from eggs! Joey: Chickens? Gene: Pass! Joey: Oh! (The third word is ketchup) Gene: You put this on a hamburger! Joey: Ketchup! Gene: Yes! (The fourth word is soda) Joey: Relish! Gene: Stop! Joey: Oh. Donny: Oh, time's up! Joey! You were, uh, almost on a roll there... Joey: Yeah... Donny: Uh, Gene, you're gonna have a chance to go to the winner circle in the second half. But right now Henrietta you are going to the winner circle to try your luck for ten thousand dollars, right after this, don't go away. Stage Manager : And we're out! Joey: Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right? Gene: Hey! I got a kid starting college. I've to get surgery on my knee, you just lost me ten grand! Joey: Oh, wow! I'm so sorry, ok? I promise, we'll do better next time! Gene: Well, I will, because I won't be playing with you. Joey: Hey, you know, some of those are pretty hard! Like why would there be a ghost in my fridge? (pause). Yeah! [Scene: College reunion party. Ross is talking to Missy.] Ross: So, Saturday night! Missy: I'd love to! Ross: Great! Missy: So how come it took you so long to ask me out? Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing? Missy: Sure, he was in your "band"? (she air quotes band) Ross: It's been sixteen years but the air quotes still hurt. Missy: Sorry. Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out! Missy: Really? Ross: Yeah, why? Missy: Well, Chandler and I used to make out! A lot! Ross: You did? Missy: Yeah. We'd go to the science lab after hours! Ross: (angrily) AND ON MY TURF? [Scene: Monica's apartment. The bachelorette party.] Monica: (to Rachel) Hey, where is this guy, it's been over an hour! Rachel: Well, he's coming from Jersey, he said he would get here as fast as he could! (someone knocks at the door) Monica: Who is it? Man: It's the police! Rachel: (pretends to be shocked) Uh! The police! Phoebe: (Excited, running back to her seat) Oh! Man: That's right, it's officer Goodbody. Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted) Roy, the male stripper: (coughs) Whoo, that's a lot of stairs! COMMERCIAL BREAK Roy: Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch. Monica: Are you gonna be ok, officer, uhm,... Roy: Goodbody! Monica: ...If-you-say-so. Roy: So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take (he shakes his hips) downtown! (Monica points Phoebe) Phoebe: Oh, God! Roy: All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! (he thrusts his pelvis towards Phoebe) Whaaaa... (walks back to plug in his cd player) Here? All right. Phoebe: Rachel? Rachel: Yeah? Phoebe: Are you kidding? Rachel: All right, look, we did not know that you wanted a stripper so we went to the phonebook and we got the first name we could find! Phoebe: How old is your phonebook? Monica: Oh my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment! Phoebe: Oh God no, I don't wanna see him take his clothes off! Roy: Are you talking about me? Monica: Oh, no! I mean, obviously we want to see you take your clothes off! You big piece of eye candy! Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed wapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing! (he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.) Roy: Whoa, whoa, whoa (he turn off the music). She cringed! Phoebe: This is how I look when I'm turned on! Roy: You were talking about me before! Look, I don't need this! I'm outta here! Where's my hat? (goes to get it) Look, I've been in this business for a long time! Phoebe: Shocking! Roy: Now if you just pay me my three hundred dollars, I'll be on my way! Phoebe: Three hundred dollars, are you kidding? Rachel: No, that's ok, let's me just get my check book! Phoebe: No, you're not gonna pay him, he didn't do anything! Roy: Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed ... I dunno... like a billion stairs... It's not like I can take them two at a time! Phoebe: I don't care. We're not paying you 300 dollars for this. Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory. Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper) Roy: I may have borrowed this from my nephew, but let me assure you, what's underneath (points at his groin)... is all man. Phoebe: I'm sorry, did you say all man or old man? Roy: (making a crying face) Oh, you're mean! Monica: (walks towards Phoebe and the stripper) Uh, look, officer... uhm Sir... Roy: Damnit. OH! (To Phoebe) Big surprise! The hunk of beef has feelings! [Scene: At Pyramid. Joey is with the woman now.] Donny: Ok Henrietta, you've picked Jack and Jill went up the hill. Joey: (To Henrietta) My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! (makes a thumbs up sign) Donny: Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. (Joey goes form looking very confident to looking very shocked the instant the word congress is said) Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go! (Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen) Joey: Oh, .. uh... uh... pass. (Next word: "Rotunda") Pass. (Next word: "Filibuster" stares at it a moment) Pass. (Henrietta is looking very confused) (Next word: "Addendum" 4 seconds remaining) Okay, the little thing that hangs down at the back of your throat. Henrietta: Uvula! Joey: Oh, then pass. (Next word: "Joint session", but time's up, Joey acts very disappointed) Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly) [Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross is walking angrily towards Chandler, who is talking to two other guys.] Ross: (To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me? (Chandler looks at the other two guys, embarrassed) Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all! Ross: You broke the pact! Chandler: Ross, that was 16 years ago! Ross: That doesn't matter! We're talking about the foundation of our friendship. Chandler: I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. (Ross just stares at him) All right, look, if we're really gonna do this... it's not like you never broke one of the pacts. Ross: I didn't. Chandler: Oh really? Ross: No. Chandler: Oh really!? Ross: NO! Chandler: ADRIENNE TURNER!! (A girl behind them turns around) Adrienne: Yes? Chandler and Ross: Hey! Hey Adrienne. (They move away from her) Ross: I never did anything with Adrienne Turner. Chandler: Oh please, and you knew how much I liked her. Ross: I don't know what... you're talking about. Chandler: Really? [Flashback scene: 80's College party.] Present Chandler's voice: Remember that big party? Freshman year? A week before Christmas vacation? I do. You had some visitors. (An 80's Rachel and fat Monica walk into the party room. Both with funny hair-do's and clothes) Monica: I can't believe we are at a real college party! (Rachel laughs excitedly) I have to pee so bad! Rachel: This is so awesome! College guys are so cute! Monica: Hey, you've got a boyfriend! Rachel: I know. But if some guy who looks like Corey Haim wants to kiss me tonight, I'm sooo gonna let them! (They spot Chandler) Monica: Look, there's Chandler. You knew, that stupid friend of Ross'. Said I'm fat. You know I've already lost 4 pounds! Rachel: It... You can so totally tell. Monica: I KNOW! Rachel: Well lets see. Maybe he knows where Ross is. (They walk towards Chandler) Hey, how's it going (tries to look as un-interested in him as possible - checking out her nails). Chandler: Aren't you...? Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do). Chandler: (smiling at Monica) Right. (to Rachel) So how're you doing? Rachel: Bitchin' Chandler: Hi Monica. Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed) Chandler: O-kay. I'll see if I can find Ross. (Goes off to find Ross.) Monica: Oh my God Rach. Bean bag chairs. Rachel: Oh. Monica: Do NOT let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days. (Cut to Chandler. He's walking around looking for Ross. He sees him kissing a girl next to a vending machine) Ross: Listen Adrienne, you can't tell Chandler about this. Adrienne: Oh believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this. Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked) [Scene: We cut back to the present. The reunion where Chandler and Ross are talking.] Ross: I didn't know you knew about that. Chandler: Well, I did and it hurt. (they walk towards the bar) That's when I wrote the song: "Betrayal In The Common Room". Ross: (looks disappointed in himself) Man... I... I'm sorry. Chandler: Look (hands him a drink) it was a lo-o-ong time ago. Ross: So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even. Chandler: (smiling a little nervously) Hmm mmmhm.. Ross: We are even, right? Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody? Ross: (thinks about it for a few seconds) What did you do to my mom? Chandler: Not her! [Flashback scene: We cut back to the 80's party. Rachel and Monica are "dancing".] Rachel: I am sooo drunk. Monica: That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and I don't feel anything at all. (Chandler approaches) Chandler: Soo... you girls having fun? Monica: For your information, ass munch, I've lost four pounds. Maybe even five with all the dancing. (A guy enters holding a pizza box) Pizza guy: SOMEBODY ORDER A PIZZA? Monica: Oh THATS ME! (she runs to the pizza guy) Rachel: (finishing the last of her drink) I am soo not going to do good on my SATs tomorrow. Chandler: Well maybe if you go to school here next year we can totally hang out. Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh yeah. There is a plan! Why don't I just start taking my smart pills now? Chandler: Well, maybe you can get in on a beauty scholarship. Rachel: (blushing) Oh, what a line. (walks towards the drinks table with her back towards Chandler and whispers "Oh my God!") Chandler: So where are you applying to? Rachel: Oh well, You know, I think it's kinda really important that I go somewhere where there's sun, so I'm sort of... (Chandler leans in an kisses her) (She pulls away) Hey! Chandler: I'm in college and I'm in a band. Rachel: (She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again) [Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him] Roy: What's the matter? You never saw a 50 year old stripper cry before? Phoebe: You know, it's fine. We'll pay you. Roy: No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding? I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago. What am I gonna do? I mean, this has been my life for thirty two years. Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know. Rachel: No, wait. No there's gotta be something else that you can do. I mean, what skills do you have? Roy: I don't know... I can make my pecs dance... I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks... I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame. Rachel: So maybe something in an office. Phoebe: Or you could teach stripping. You know, share your gift, pass the torch. Roy: You know, actually that's not a bad idea. I can do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind. Phoebe: There you go. Okay, do you think you're gonna be okay? Roy: Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is so weird. I mean, you never know when it's gonna be your last dance. And I didn't even get a chance to finish it. Phoebe: (after a pause) Finish it! Roy: What? Phoebe: Your last dance. Do it for us. Roy: Really? Rachel: (to Phoebe) Really? Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. He deserves to do the thing he loves one last time. Roy: Okay, all right... Get ready ladies! (they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.) Phoebe: Oh this is so ho-o-ot! (Roy then sits on Phoebe's lap, looking exhausted) Phoebe: Oh no, no, no, don't stop! Roy: (out of breath) Have to... [Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.] Donny: Well, welcome to the Winner Circle. Joey and Gene, you guys ready? Joey: (nervously) Yeah... Gene: (irritable) Sure. (Joey gets even more nervous) Donny: Okay. Give me sixty seconds on the clock please... Ready, GO! (runs off) (the screen says "6 to win" and "types of trees") Gene: Oak, maple, elm, birch... Joey: I-I-I don't know. Types of trees? (Joey hears the bell which means his answer is correct and is surprised. The screen now says "5 to win" and "Spanish words") Gene: Uhm... Buenos días, enchilada, por favor... Joey: (sympathetic) Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know any Spanish words. (There's the next bell, and the correct answer. The screen changes to "4 to win" and "things that burn". Gene now realizes that he got two correct answers and gets up in his seat.) Gene: A match, a candle... Joey: Things that go "tssst" when you put them out. Gene: A torch, a bonfire... (Joey seems lost) uhm, your pee... Joey: Things that burn. (and another bell for the correct answer. "3 to win" and "What a dog might say") Gene: "I'd like to go for a walk", uhm "scratch my belly". Joey: Dude, dude! I think you're losing it. Gene: Uhm, "I have fur", "I like to bark". Joey: Oh, oh, oh... What a dog says. (the bell sounds again, "2 to win" and "pizza toppings") Gene: Pepperoni... Joey: (instantly) Pizza toppings, next! (there's 10 seconds left, "1 to win" and "Supermodels") Gene: Cindy Crawford, Christie Brinkley, Heidi Klum, Claudia Schiffer... Joey: Oh, oh, oh... (5 seconds left) Gene: Christie Turlington, Kate Moss... Joey: Girls Chandler could never get? Gene: (irritated) Supermodels! Joey: Where? (looking around) [Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's there and Ross and Chandler walk in.] Ross: Hey, where's Rachel? Monica: She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital. Ross: Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel? Monica: What? When was this? Ross: Nineteen Eighty Seven. The weekend you guys visited me at school. Monica: Oh my God! That's wild! Chandler: Yeah, but it was like a million years ago, so it doesn't matter. Ross: Well, it matters to me. Chandler: Why? Ross: Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time. Chandler: You kissed her that night too? Monica: Two guys in one night? Wow, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed. Chandler: Seriously, where did this happen? Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first. Chandler: Oh wait... What bed did you say she was on? Ross: Mine. Chandler: I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed. Ross: No, she was definitely on my bed. Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl, and then put her on your bed? Ross: Well, then who was on my bed? Monica: (screeching) OH! Oh, oh! (holding her hand in front of her mouth) Ross: (realizing) NO! No, no! Monica: YES! (Chandler gets an "oh no!" look on his face) Ross: You were under the pile of coats? Monica: I was the pile of coats! Ross: OH MY GOD! Monica: You were my Midnight Mystery Kisser? Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel? Monica: You were my first kiss ever? Chandler: What did I marry into? COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Back at the party in 1987. People are dancing to "Disco Inferno" by The Trammps.] (Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in bat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.) Monica: Oh, crap! THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x11 - The One Where The Stripper Cries"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Robert Carlock & Dana Klein Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa [Scene: Central Perk. Joey's sitting on the couch and Phoebe enters.] Phoebe: Oh, hey Joey. Joey: Uh, hey. Phoebe: Listen, I need to ask you something. Ok, you know how my step dad's in prison. Joey: (afraid) Yeah. Phoebe: Yeah. Well, uhm... listen he was supposed to get a weekend furlough, so he'd come to the wedding tomorrow, but he just called and... uhm... well, apparently sab Iceman in the exercise yard just couldn't wait till Monday. Joey: So he can't come? Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it. Joey: Seriously? Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom... Joey: I am pretty wisdomous. Phoebe: So... what do you say? Joey: Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored. (they hug) Phoebe: Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me. Joey: (takes her hand) Listen, I hope... that you know... (has difficulty saying it) I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM! OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.] Phoebe: Oh. Joey: Oh no, no, no, let your dad get this. Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me! Monica: (she enters with a headset on and she's speaking into the microphone) Well, it matters to me! Phoebe: Well, I don't care, so you pick! Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours. Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ok. What time is that. Monica: You don't know military time? Phoebe: Why, I must have been in mssile training the day they taught that. Monica: Just subtract twelve. Phoebe: Ok, so... 1800 minus twelve is... one thousand, seven hundred and... Monica: (screaming) Six o'clock! Phoebe: Ok. Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture? Phoebe: Ice sculpture? That sounds really fancy! I told you I just want a simple wedding. Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white. Phoebe: What harpist? My friend Marjorie is playing the steel drums. Monica: Ooh... she backed out. Phoebe: She did? Why? Monica: I made her. (Phoebe looks shocked) Steel drums don't really say "elegant wedding". Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent. Phoebe: (looking angry) Hey! She will shower when Tibet is free. [Scene: The wedding rehearsal dinner.] Chandler: Hey! Phoebe: Hey! Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them. Phoebe: Okay, what did we say was your one gift to us? Chandler: No stupid jokes. I thought that was for the actual wedding. Phoebe: Rehearse it! Ross: Hi! (he kisses Phoebe) Mike: Thanks for coming you guys. Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake. Mike: Is that why your hand is pressed against my crotch? Ross: That is why! Mike: Yeah. Phoebe: So Rach. Rachel: Yeah. Phoebe: Where is Emma? Rachel: Oh, Monica made me send her to my mother's. Apparently babies and weddings don't mix. Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off) Joey: Hey, you're Mike's parents, right? Mike's mother: Yes, we are. Joey: Ah, our little ones are growing up fast, uh? Mike's father: How's that? Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go. Mike's father: Who in God's name are you? Joey: Hey, I'm not that fond of you either, ok buddy? But I'm just trying to be nice for the kids! (cut to Ross, Chandler and Rachel) Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow. Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid? Rachel: Uh... November? Ross: I wanna say it's not looking good. Rachel: Hey Pheebs... Phoebe: What's up? Rachel: Uhm... you haven't told these guys what they're doing in the wedding yet. Chandler: Heh. Phoebe: Uhm... well, they're not in the wedding. Ross: What? (Ross and Chandler don't know what to say, so there's an embarrassing long pause) Rachel: Well, this is really awkward (staring at the floor) Oh, and I can leave! Phoebe: I'm sorry you guys but, you know, Mike's got his brother and his friends from school so... you know, you were-you were... if it helps you, you were next in line, you just-you just missed the cut. Ross: Oh, man! Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me! Ross: FOOTBALL! Chandler: Thank you. Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it. Phoebe: Oh! I though the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian! Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it! Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine. Monica: Ah, well then there are gonna be a few surprises! Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding. Chandler: I know, I hate being left out of things. Ross: And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it... Mike: Hey guys, how is it going? Chandler: Fine. We're just sitting here. Alone. Doing nothing. It's our rehearsal for tomorrow. Mike: Yeah look, about tomorrow, I... I've got a question for ya. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't make it. Chandler: What happened? Ross: Who cares, AND? Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up) Ross: I'll do it! Chandler: (standing up too) M-Me-me-me! Mike: You both wanna do it? Uhm... there's only room for one. Chandler: Pick me, I look great in a tux and I will not steal focus. Ross: No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! (he mimics the groommens way of walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid) Huh? Mike: You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose. (he leaves) Ross: (to Chandler) Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman. Chandler: Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror... as he is me! Ross: Please, you're going down! Chandler: You are going downer! Ross: Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team? Chandler: (almost crying) I wouldn't know, I didn't make it! (they hug) [Scene: Wedding rehearsal dinner. Joey and Mike are talking.] Joey: So, you know I'm filling in for Phoebe's step dad, tomorrow, right? Mike: Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that. Joey: Oh, hey, my pleasure. (he suddenly becomes very serious) So what are your intentions with my Phoebe? Mike: I intend to marry her. Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable? Mike: No more so than acting. Joey: Strike two! Mike: You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad? Joey: Strike three! You only get one more, Mike! (Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.) Ross: So, what did you decide? Phoebe: I decided to pee. Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out. Phoebe: Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so much! Chandler: Just not enough to put us in the original wedding party. Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today. Rachel: (excited and clapping her hands in front of her face) Goody, what is it! Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that. Rachel: What, what, what, no, I don't wanna do that. Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid. Ross: I'll do it! (Monica approaches) Monica: Ok, it's 2100 hours. (to Phoebe) Time for your toast. (Mike appears) Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom? Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out! Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler? Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up) Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here... Monica (rolling her eyes): oh God. Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done. Monica: What? Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him and he puts down his glass.) [Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey's having breakfast; Phoebe enters the room carrying her wedding dress.] Phoebe: Hey! Rachel: Happy wedding day! Phoebe: Oh, happy my wedding day to you! Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages. Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages! (Monica enters the room) Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back. Phoebe: Oh, well that's ok. I think you and I will do much better if you're just... here as a bridesmaid. Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return) Phoebe: Wow, this is a lot! Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine. Phoebe: You won awards? Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer. (Ross enters the room) Ross: Hey! Monica: Hi. Ross: Where's Rach? Monica: She's in her room, why? Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking! Rachel: What d'you want? Ross: You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you? Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is! Ross: I'm not! I'm making it easier! Pick me! Rachel: Well, Chandler said that it's really important to him too! Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time! Rachel: Oh, you are the lesser of two evils! Ross: (waving his fist in the air in triumph) YES, YES! [Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is talking at the phone, Monica is listening amused.] Phoebe: Sven I don't understand what you're saying! What is wrong with the flowers? Lorkins? What the hell are lorkins? Monica: I know. (Mike enters the room). Mike: Hey. Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be? Mike: (thinks a moment) Orchids? Phoebe: Right there! That's why I'm marrying you! (Joey comes out from his room) Joey: (to Mike) Hello Michael. Mike: Joseph. Joey: May I have a word with you, please? Mike: (looking around the room) This is... great... Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this. Mike: (not amused) Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie? Joey: More back talk. And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for "Family Honor 2: Thissa Time Itsa Personal." Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want? Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her. Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her. Joey: (very satisfied and smiling) That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family. Mike: That must have been one lousy movie. Joey: (almost crying) That was ME! [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is pacing and Rachel walks in.] Rachel: Hi Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy! Rachel: Even so, I think I'm gonna pick Ross. Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back. Rachel: All right fine, I pick you. Chandler: (Getting up and raising his fist in victory) Y-Y-YEEESSS! Make "groom" for Chandler. Rachel: (not amused by his pun but forcing a smile anyway) Oh my... [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is on the phone and Monica is nonchalantly "minding her own business".] Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches calls) Hello? (Mike and Joey come out of Joey's room) Joey: I'm glad we had this little talk. Mike: Yes. Yeah and thanks for all the wedding night advice. (walks away) That didn't make me uncomfortable at all! Alright, so I'll see everybody tonight? Phoebe: Okay. Monica: Bye. (Mike opens the door and there is a gigantic ice sculpture standing in the doorway) Mike: Uhm, did you guys know that there is a giant ice sculpture in the hall? Phoebe: Oh my God, what's it doing here? Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle. Phoebe: (starting to panic) Oh my God, everything is such a mess. Why is this happening to me? Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him) [Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee at the counter. Chandler walks in.] Chandler: How's it going? Ross: (smiling to himself) Good. I'm just getting some coffee. So I'm alert for the wedding. Chandler: (smiling to himself too) That's what I was doing too. Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight. Chandler: You too. Ross: Oh, I will. Chandler: Me too. (They walk passed each other, Ross towards the door, Chandler towards the counter, suddenly they turn around to face each other) Ross: Wait a minute, I know why I'm being such an ass, why are you? Chandler: I'm not supposed to tell you. Ross: I'm not supposed to tell you! (Cut to Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Ross storm in looking very unhappy) Chandler: You told us both we could be in the wedding? (they both stare at Rachel) Rachel: Well, in my defense, you were not supposed to tell each other. Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted) Chandler: Rach, Rach, knock knock. Rachel: Who's there? Chandler: I'll tell you at the wedding. Rachel: Uh. (Mike walks in.) Mike: Hey, I forgot my scarf. Rachel: You know what, I can't do this. I don't know which one of you guys to pick. Mike: Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy. Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose. (all eyes turn to Rachel) Rachel: (sarcastic) Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog. (Ross and Chandler look shocked) (Cut to Phoebe who is in the living room, still on the phone.) Phoebe: Alright, wait, so what you're saying is that the chef is at the Hamilton Club, but the food is not and the drinks are there, but the bartender is not? Are you, are you FREAKING KIDDING ME!? Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going? Phoebe: (to Monica) Help me. Monica: What? Phoebe: I want you to be Crazy Bitch again. Monica: (Sounds moved) Really? Phoebe: (Nearly in tears) Please? Monica: You really want me to come back? Phoebe: More than I wanna get married. Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything. (Joey walks in) Joey: Hey, what are you guys gonna do? Phoebe: (sounds scared already) About what? Joey: The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. (Opens the curtains to reveal a snow storm outside) Monica: Ooh! But the band and the photographer are coming all the way in from New Jersey! Joey: I don't think they are. Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs. [Scene: Monica's apartment. They are all sitting around.] Monica: (Putting down her phone) Well, the club lost it's power. Joey: Yeah according to the news, most of the city did. Rachel: Since when do you watch the news? Joey: Uh, for your information, since they hired a very hot weather girl. Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today. Phoebe: I know. Rachel: Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street? Phoebe: What? Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted! Phoebe: (Turning to Mike) What do you think? Mike: I think I wanna get married to you today. Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it? Monica: (thinking) AFFIRMATIVE! [Scene: Outside. They are a bunch of people arranging chairs, shoveling snow and making other preparations.] Monica: (walking around with her headset still on) OK LET'S GET THESE CHAIRS OUT HERE! gn, ht the Christmas lights. (He does so and the lights above the chairs light up. Monica looks satisfied) Okay, who left the ice sculpture (picks up a piece of ice from the ground) ON THE STEAM GRATE? (nobody answers) Mike's mom: Michael! Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of... Mike's mom: No... It's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look at them forever. Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart. Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle. Chandler: So technically, would this person be in the wedding? Mike: I guess. Chandler and Ross: I'll do it! Ross: No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs? Chandler: I'm not scared. (moves towards Mike and Chappy) I'll just take little Chappy and... (he backs out) HE CAN SENSE MY FEAR. MY THROAT IS EXPOSED. Ross: (takes Chappy from Mike) Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... (smells Chappy) He stinks! Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it. Mike: Oh, no! Joey: Oh hey, don't worry. I'm still ordained from your wedding. Monica: Really? Joey: Yeah, you'd think I'd give up being a minister and start paying to ride the subway? Huhuh... Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free. Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do. Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle. Chandler: (quickly) I'll do it. Ross: I'll... Chandler: (to Ross) Na ha ha... (to Chappy) Ne he he... (Ross moves Chappy to Chandler, who quickly backs away) Ah ah... Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.) (Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.) Monica: Okay, Joey's doing the ceremony and Chandler's giving you away. Phoebe: Oh, okay. Hi new dad. (Chandler waves) Monica: So, you're ready to do this? Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh... Oh my God! This is really happening. Rachel: Oh Phoebe, I'm so happy for you honey. (she gives her a kiss) Phoebe: Oh, thank you. Monica: I love you. (Phoebe leans in to kiss her.) Oh, wait, wait, wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell. (the girls hug) Phoebe: I love you guys. Rachel and Monica: I love you. Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road. Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight? Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours. Chandler: Oh yeah! (Monica walks outside) Monica: Okay Marjorie, h*t it. (A woman with a steel drum and a guy with a xylophone start playing an instrumental version of "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Elvis Presley. A bridesmaid and a groomsman walk down the isle. Next are Rachel and Ross, who carries Chappy in his arms.) Rachel: Geez Ross, you could have showered. Ross: It's the dog. (we cut to Monica) Monica: Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? (into microphone) We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! (realizes) Oh, that's me. (She walks down the aisle with the groomsman. We cut to inside Central Perk, where Phoebe and Chandler are waiting.) Chandler: Ready? Phoebe: (nervously) Okay. Chandler: Okay. Phoebe: Oh wait, oh no. Wait. (She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.) Chandler: Wow! Aren't you gonna be cold? Phoebe: I don't care... I'll be my something blue. Chandler: You look beautiful. Phoebe: Thank you. (They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.) Mike: My God! Aren't you freezing? Phoebe: Na-ah. (the music ends) Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings? (one of the groomsmen gives the rings to Joey) Joey: (whispering to Phoebe) Okay... Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger) Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.) Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes. Mike: I love you too. Ross: Uh Joey... Joey: Yeah? Ross: Chappy's heart rate has slowed way down. Joey: Oh, okay. Phoebe, do you take this man to be your husband? Phoebe: I do. (Joey has a "Yeah you do" smile on his face) Joey: Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife? Mike: I do. Joey: I now pronounce you... husband and wife. (Phoebe and Mike kiss) Phoebe: I got married! (everyone applauds) Could someone get me a coat, I'm freaking freezing. (Mike takes off his coat to give to Phoebe and the steel band plays "The Wedding Song") COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: The hallway between the two apartments. Chandler and Joey are walking up the stairs.] Chandler: That really was an incredible wedding. Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage? Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had. Joey: Nice. Oh hey, what about Ross? Chandler: I don't know. Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he was talking to. (cut to the street in front of Central Perk where Ross is walking Chappy. He has a plastic bag in his hand.) Ross: Come on Chappy, do your business. MAKE! MA-AKE! I did not sign on for this. THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x12 - The One With Phoebe's Wedding"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Sherry Bilding-Graham & Ellen Plummer Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa [Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch and Phoebe enters.] Phoebe: Hi All: Hey! Hi! Rachel: How was the honeymoon? Phoebe; Oh, incredible! Oh! Champagne, candle-lit dinners, moonlight walks on the beach, it was sooo ro-man-tic! Rachel: Oh! Chandler: So, where's Mike? Phoebe: Oh, he's at the doctor, he didn't poop the whole time we were there! Joey: Well anyway, I'm glad you're back, I really need your help. Phoebe: Oh, why? What's up? Joey: I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in. Ross: Joey, you shouldn't lie on your résumé. Monica: Yeah, you really shouldn't. (to Ross, sarcastically) By the way, how was that year-long dig in Cairo? Ross: (whispering) It was ok... Rachel: I did not know you spoke French. Phoebe: Oui, bien sur je parle Français! Qu'est-ce que tu penses alors? Rachel: Oh... you're so sexy! Joey: Well, so, will you help me? I really wanna be in this play. Phoebe: Sure! Tout le plaisir est pour moi, mon ami. Rachel: Seriously stop it, or I'm gonna jump on ya. OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment.] Chandler: Hey. Monica: Hey. Chandler: Why are you wearing my apron? Monica: I'm making cookies for Erica. And oh, by the way, we have to leave for the airport soon, her plane comes in about an hour. Chandler: Oh, hey, when she gets here, is it ok if I introduce you two as "my wife" and "the woman who's carrying my child"? (she's not amused) No? Divorce? Ross: (he enters) Hey. Monica: Hey. Ross: You guys know where Rachel is? Monica: No, we haven't seen her since this morning. Ross: So unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma. (he tries to take a cookie but Monica slaps his hand) Monica: Hey! Ross: Hey! Monica: These are for Erica! Ross: What? She's gonna eat all those cookies? Monica: Well, I want he baby to come out all cute and fat! Ross: So, why is Erica coming to visit? Monica: Well, because we want to get to know her better and she's never been to New York so she wants to see all the tourists' spots... you know, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building... Chandler: Oh, those places! There's always so many people, their being corralled like cattle, and... you know, there's always some idiot who goes "Mooooo"! Monica: Well, if it annoys you so much, then why do you do it? Ross: (looking at Rachel entering with Emma) Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late! Rachel: Ross... Ross: No, no, no, I'm sure you have a great excuse, wh-was it a hair appointment, a mani-pedi or was there a sale at Barney's? Rachel: My father had an heart attck... (crying) ...while I was at Barney’s. Ross: Oh my God. Monica: Honey. Chandler: I'm so sorry... Ross: Is-is he ok? Rachel: Yeah, they said he's gonna be fine, but he's still heavily sedated. Ross: Ok, ok. I'm gonna come out to Long Island with you, I mean, you can't be alone right now. Rachel: No, come on, I'm totally ok. (hugging him) I don't need you to come! I can totally handle this on my own. Ross: Still-still, let me come... for me. Rachel: Ok. If you really need to. Ross: I bet someone could use one of Monica's freshly baked cookies. Rachel: Oh, I really could. Ross: Oh! Rachel: Ohh... (Ross mouths HA-HA at Monica and takes two cookies and she looks at him angrily) [Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.] Phoebe: All right, it seems pretty simple. Your first line is "My name is Claude", so, just repeat after me. "Je m'appelle Claude". Joey: Je de coup Clow. Phoebe: Well, just... let's try it again. Joey: Ok. Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude. Joey: Je depli mblue. Phoebe: Uh. It's not... quite what I'm saying. Joey: Really? It sounds exactly the same to me. Phoebe: It does, really? Joey: Yeah. Phoebe: All right, let just try it again. Really listen. Joey: Got it. Phoebe: (slowly) Je m'appelle Claude. Joey: Je te flouppe Fli. Phoebe: Oh, mon Dieu! Joey: Oh, de fuff! Monica: (entering with Erica and Chandler) Hey you guys. Phoebe: Hi! Joey: Hey. Monica: I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby! Phoebe: Oh! Monica: Joey. Erica, baby! Joey: Hi. Monica: Everyone. Erica, baby! Chandler: Monica. Calm, self. Erica: Thank you. It's really nice to meet you guys, I can't believe I'm here! Joey: Welcome to New York City! Or should I say "ghe deu flooff New York City"? Chandler: Why would you say that? Phoebe: Ok. What are you gonna be doing today? Erica: I wanna see everything! Times Square, Coney Island, Rockefeller Center... Joey: Oh, you know what you should do? You should walk all the way at the top of Statue of Liberty. Erica: Oh yeah, let's do that! Chandler: Great! (to Monica) This baby'd better to be really good. [Scene: Hospital.] Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green. Ross: And I'm Doctor Ross Geller. Rachel: Ross, please, this is a hospital, ok? That actually means something here. Rachel: Can somebody please go in? Nurse: Absolutely. Ross: Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here, because my throat is feeling a little scratchy, I don't want to infect him. Rachel: Ross, please, don't be so scared of him! Ross: I'm not scared of him, I'm really sick! Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out. Ross: I'm feeling better. Rachel: Oh! (They enter. Rachel sees his father, lying on a bed, with tubes, drip and everything) Oh! Oh my God! Ohhh, ohhh, wow, that ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain, huh? Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him. Rachel: Oh, great, Are you gonna be ok? Ross: He's unconscious, I think we'll be just fine! Rachel (leaving): Ok. (Ross goes into the room where Dr. Green is laying unconscious. He turns on the TV, puts his feet on the bed and starts watching a dinosaur movie where the dinosaur is caught by two cowboys. Dr. Geller awakes.) Ross: Did the TV wake you? Dr. Green: No, when you put your feet up in my bed, you tugged on my catheter. Ross: Ouchy. Dr. Green: What are you doing here, Geller? Ross: Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second! (pause) So what's new? Dr. Green: Ooh, I have a little heart attck. Ross: Right, is it painful? Dr. Green: What, the heart attck or sitting here talking to you? Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here. Dr. Green: So what's new with you, uh, knocked up any more of my daughters lately? Ross: Nope, just the one. RACH! [Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French.] Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude. Joey: Je do call blue! Phoebe: Noooo! Ok, maybe if we just break it down. Ok, let's try at one syllable at a time. Ok? So repeat after me. "je". Joey: je. Phoebe: m'ap Joey: mah Phoebe: pelle Joey: pel. Phoebe: Great, ok faster! "je" Joey: je. Phoebe: m'ap Joey: mah Phoebe: pelle Joey: pel. Phoebe: Je m'appelle! Joey: Me pooh pooh! Phoebe: Ok, it's too hard, I can't teach you! Joey: What are you doing? Phoebe: I, I have to go before I put your head through a wall. (she leaves) Joey: (he goes out calling her) Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! (he gives up). Pooh. [Scene: Green's mansion. Rachel's Room. Rachel's is combing her hair; Ross's coming into the room] Ross: Hey! Rachel: Hi! Ross: I was gonna make us some dinner but all I found in your dad's fridge was bacon and heavy cream. (pause) I think we solved the mystery of the heart attck. Rachel: Uh. (pause) Did you call your parents? Ross: Oh, yeah. Emma's doing great. Rachel: Oh good. Ross: Wow. Rachel: What? Ross: Just can't believe I'm in Rachel Green's room. Rachel: What do you mean? You've been in my room before! Ross: Yeah, sure, right! Like I've ever been in Rachel Green's room. Rachel: Ok I gotta tell ya, it's really weird when you use my whole name. Ross: Sorry. (Rachel sits on her bed). You ok? Rachel: Yeah. Ross: You had a rough day, uh? Rachel: Yeah, just so weird seeing him like that, you know? I mean he is a doctor, you don't expect doctors to get sick! Ross: But we do! (pause) It's gonna be ok, Rach! Rachel: (she's sad) Ow. I don't want him to wake up alone! I should go to the hospital! Ross: What? No, no! Hey, hey, hey look... Rachel: What? Ross: They gave him a lot of medication, ok? He wouldn't even know if you were there. Look, we'll go see him first thing in the morning, ok? Rachel: Really, I shouldn't feel guilty? Ross: No, God! Hey, Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, ok? Right now you just need to get some rest. Rachel: Ok, maybe you're right. Ross: (he kisses her on her forehead) Good night. Rachel: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Would you stay here with me for a little while? Ross: Sure! Rachel: Ok. (She sits on the bed and Ross sits near her) Thank you for coming with me today. Ross: Oh, of course... Rachel: Rachel Green is very happy you're in her room! Ross: Me too. Come here. (They hug) Rachel: I just don't want to be alone tonight. Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea. Rachel: Wait, we won't know that until we do it, will we? Ross: No, look, uh. You are upset about your father and you're feeling vulnerable and I just don't feel it would be right, I'd feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you. Rachel: Taking advantage? I'm giving you the advantage, enjoy! Ross: Look, I'm sure it would be great, but I-I think one of us has to be thinking clearly, so, I'm gonna go! Rachel: Wow. Ok. Ross: I'll see you in the morning (he leaves). Rachel: Mhm-mh! Ross: (outside her room, talking by himself) Haven't had sex in four months, I should get a medal for that! [Scene: Monica's apartment. Monica and Erica have just arrived.] Erica: Thanks so much for taking me to all those places. I had a great time. Monica: Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming. Chandler: (enters the room wearing an "I love New York" t-shirt, a "Statue of Liberty" hat and carrying bags) New York is awesome! Monica: What is with you? Chandler: Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know. Monica: Yeah, you miss alot, when you're moo-ing. Erica: Thanks so much for showing me around. Monica: Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you. Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other) Chandler: Oh, uhm, okay, uhm, do you mind if we ask you some questions about the father? Erica: Oh, sure. Yeah, well, he was my high school boyfriend. Captain of the football team, really cute and he got a scholarship and went off to college. (Monica and Chandler are smiling from ear to ear) Chandler: That's great. Erica: Yeah... it's almost definitely him. (Monica and Chandler look confused now) Monica: How's that now? Erica: Well, there is a chance it's another guy. I mean, I have only ever been with two guys, but they sorta overlapped. Chandler: So, what does the other guy do? Does he go to college too? Erica: No, he's in prison. (More shocked looks from Monica and Chandler) Monica: Was he falsely accused of something? (They look hopeful) Erica: No... he klled his father with a shovel. (Monica and Chandler's jaws drop) But other than that, he's a great guy. Chandler: I'll bet his dad doesn't think so. (Time lapse. Chandler and Monica are in bed now) Monica: Are you awake? Chandler: Of course I'm awake. Assume from now on that I'm always awake! (He turns the light on) Monica: Alright, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy. Chandler: Honey, it's us. Of course it's the shovel-kller. Monica: Alright, lets say that it is him, would we not want the baby? No! Would we treat him any differently? Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is. Monica: How? Chandler: I dunno, aren't there tests for these things, right? Monica: Yeah, but maybe we're just over-reacting. Chandler: Pff, easy for you to say, he's a father kller. He probably loves him mommy. He's probably got a tattoo that says "mom" on his shovel-wielding arm! [Scene: Joey's apartment. He is sitting on the barcalounger holding a French study book and listening to a French learning tape.] Tape: We will now count from one to five. Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq. Joey: Huh, un, blu, bla, flu, flenk! Tape: Good job. Joey: Thank you. (Phoebe enters) Phoebe: Hey Joey. Joey: Hey! Phoebe: Listen, I feel really badly about yesterday and I thought about it a lot and, and I know, I was too impatient. SO lets try it again. Joey: Oh, no, that's okay, I don't need your help. I worked on it myself and I gotta say, I am pretty good! Phoebe: Really, can I hear some of it. Joey: Sure, sure. Ok, (clears his throat and starts to read from his script. He starts talking in a fake French accent, making gestures with his hands) "Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu" (Phoebe looks astonished, annoyed and disgusted, Joey seems very proud though) See? Phoebe: Well, you're not, (she tries to smile and contain her anger, but loses it) You're not... you're not... again, you're not SPEAKING FRENCH! Joey: (offended) Oh well I think I am, yeah and I think I'm definitely gonna get the part. Phoebe: How could you possibly think that? Joey: For one thing, the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job! [Scene: The hospital. Rachel is pouring her self a cup of coffee. Ross approaches from behind.] Ross: Hey Rach, can you grab me a cup of coffee? Rachel: (She turns around very slowly, looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee) Sure. (She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him) Ross: You've been quiet all morning. Is everything okay? Rachel: Hmm-hmm. (starts to pour herself a cup of coffee, never looking at Ross) Ross: You sure you're alright? Rachel: (coldly) Yep. Ross: (knowing she's not alright) O-kay. Well, I'm gonna go grab us some breakfast. (He starts to leave) Rachel: FYI.. Ross: (knew this was coming) There it is... (he comes back) Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex... just do it. (she smiles fakely at him) Ross: (half amused) Wait, wait, (looks around a little) You're mad at me about last night? I was just trying to do the right thing. Rachel: (sarcastically) Really? Well, it seems to me if you'd done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed, I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied! Ross: (acknowledging the last part of her sentence) Well... Rachel: Oh stop that! Ross: I can't believe this. I was just being a good guy. I treated you with respect and understanding. Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, that is so hot. She walks around him to the other side) Ross: Hey, I was looking out for you. Rachel: Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me. Ross: I gotta say, I have not had sex a lot of times before, this is the worst ever. Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms) Ross: Hey you know what? You know what? To avoid this little thing in the future, let's just say, you and me, never having sex again. Rachel: What? Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Erica enter, Chandler is in the kitchen.] Chandler: Hey! How was lunch? Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife) Chandler: (struggling) Oh, really? Erica: No! (To Monica) You we're right, that was fun! I'm gonna go finish packing. Chandler: O-okay. (steps closer to Monica and speaks softly) So, is she gonna take the test? Monica: Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is. Chandler: Oh God. It's shovely-Joe, isn't it? Monica: (smiling) No it's not. Chandler: How do you know? Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way. Chandler: Oh God! What was it? The thing that we hardly ever do or the thing we never do? Monica: The thing we never do. Chandler: (nods in appreciation) Shovely Joe! [Scene: The theatre where Joey is auditioning. Phoebe enters when Joey's on stage and she sits down. He hasn't seen her.] Director: Whenever you're ready Joey. Joey: Right. (clears his throat) Dja bu bu Claude. Uh, c'est la pu les la lu blah bloo. Casting assistant: I'm sorry, what's going on? Joey: Dude, come on! French it u-up! Director: Joey, do you speak French? Joey: Toutes la smore! Bu blu-ay bloo blah ooh! Pfoof! Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.) Phoebe: (in a French accent) Uh, excuse me. Uh, I am Reginé Philange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of Estée Lauder. Director: You really think this man is speaking French? Joey: Sa-sa-saw! Phoebe: Écoutez, je vais vous dire la vérité. C'est mon petit frère. Il est un peu retrd. (Translation: Listen, I will tell you the truth. He's my little bother. He's a bit ret*rd.) (The director looks at Joey and he nods.) Phoebe: Alors, si vous pouviez jouer le jeu avec lui... (Translation: So, would you please just humor him?) Director: (to Joey) Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part. Joey: Ah. All right. But my French was good? Director: It was great. Joey: (to Phoebe) Oh-hoh! Ha-hah! See! Phoebe: (to the director) Merci. Au revoir. (Translation: Thanks, goodbye.) Joey: Yeah-hah. Toute-de-le-fruit. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen counter and Ross enters from Rachel and Emma's room.] Ross: Emma's down for the night. Rachel: Oh, good. Ross: So uh... I guess I wanna take off. Rachel: Okay... Hey listen, just before you go I-I again, I just wanna say "thank you" for coming with me. Ross: Oh, no problem. Rachel: And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again. Ross: Thank you. I'm glad you agree. Rachel: It's a shame though, I mean, when we did it, it was pretty good. Ross: Yeah... Yeah, that's true. Rachel: Hey uhm, do you remember that one really great time...? Ross: Oh, ye-ah! Rachel: You know it was you're uhm... birthday... Ross: ...Valentine's day... Both: (long pause, they realize) Oh yeah! Rachel: Well, I guess that's all in the past, now. Ross: Hmmm-mmmm. Rachel: (after a pause) Not even one more time? Ross: Not even once. Rachel: No matter how much we want it. Ross: Even if we want it really bad. Rachel: That's what we decided. Ross: Uhm, right! Rachel: ...It's kinda hard though! Ross: Yeah. Rachel: You know, when two people have a connection, you know, that's... just seems like such a... waste. Ross: ...I hate waste. Rachel: ...Ross? Ross: Yes? Rachel: Just so you know... With us... it's never off the table. (she enters her room and closes the door.) Ross: Damn it. It's never off the table. (he leaves the apartment) COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Joey are "updating" Joey's resumé.] Phoebe: Okay, can you really tapdance? Joey: No. Phoebe: It's off the resumé. (she strikes it through with a pencil) Phoebe: Archery? Joey: No. Phoebe: Horseback riding? Joey: Would fall off a lot. Phoebe: You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds? Joey: That I can do. Phoebe: Come on! You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds? Joey: All right, watch me! (he takes a full container of milk from the fridge) Okay, you time me. Ready? Phoebe: Ready... GO! (Joey takes the plastic container to his mouth and starts to drink. Most of the milk gushes from the bottle down his chin and over his clothes to the floor. He keeps "drinking" and all of a sudden he lifts it up and half the bottle of milk pours out in an instant. He then continues to drink the rest. He then puts the empty container down on the counter.) Phoebe: (checking her watch) You did it! THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x13 - The One Where Joey Speaks French"}	foreverdreaming
Teleplay by: Tracy Reilly Story by: Robert Carlock Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Final check by Kim [Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are having a diner party with Phoebe and Mike.] Mike: (raising his glass) Thank you guys for having us over. Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night. Chandler: Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often. Monica: Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away. Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. (she shrugs) Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys... I have great news. Monica: Ross, we're kind of in the middle of diner here. Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today... Chandler: A dinosaur died a million years ago? Ross: Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good. Phoebe: Wow! Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid. Rachel: (while entering) Hi you guys. All: Hey. Rachel: Ooh, Italian! (she also grabs a plate) Monica: No one wanted seconds, right? Ross: No, no. I-I'm good. Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me. Ross: I'm up for tenure. Rachel: Congratulations! Ross: You too! What are the odds? Rachel: Ooh! (they hug) Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth. Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for... Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey) OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler on their couch.] Phoebe: Hey Mon? Was it weird changing your name to Geller-Bing? Monica: No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this. (pats Chandler on his leg) Phoebe: Where did you go to do it? Monica: Uhm the... the ministry... of names... bureau... Chandler: YOU NEVER DID IT! Monica: I'm sorry. It's just the idea of being an official Bing. Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me. Mike: (walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go. Phoebe: Thanks! Honey, would you want me to take your name? Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it. Phoebe: All right, let's see, call me mrs Hannigan. Chandler: Mrs Hannigan? Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it. Joey: (enters) Hey guys. Chandler: Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us? Joey: No, thank you. Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house. Chandler: Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city. Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map. Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us. Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. gn! Chandler: Damn it. Monica: See you guys later. Phoebe: Okay! Monica: (to Joey) I'll pick you up at eleven. So glad you're coming. Phoebe: Good for you. That was really mature. Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here. Mike: You're a strange kind of grown-up. Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just... Mike: Woo-wo-hey-hey-hey... Can we not talk about that right now? Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here. Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it? (Phoebe whispers something in Joey's ear, but after hearing it he jumps up, shocked) Joey: I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU DO THAT! Goodbye! (he leaves) [Scene: A restaurant. Rachel enters.] Rachel: (to maitre d') Hi, I'm here to see mr Campbell... with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like Gukki, which could be confusing. Maitre d': Mr Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table. (They walk to the table, but Rachel suddenly gasps. Sitting there is mr Zellner, her boss from her current job at Ralph Lauren.) Rachel: Oh my God! That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else. Maitre d': I'm sorry. That's always mr Campbell's table. Rachel: But my... but my boss cannot see me. I'm interviewing for another job. Maitre d': I know. With Gukki Rachel: Sssshhhh! Mr Zellner: Rachel? Rachel: Hi... I'm on a date... Mr Zellner: (confused) That's great! Rachel: Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom, career... You gotta get out there. Mr Zellner: Well, you got uhm... good energy. Rachel: Oh. Mr Campbell: Rachel? Rachel: Yes, hi! Mr Campbell: James Campbell... Rachel: Hi! (to mr Zellner) Excuse us. Mr Campbell: Please... (shows her to sit) Rachel: Okay. Oh, yeah... (whispering to mr Zellner) Oh he's cute! Mr Campbell: So... your resumé is quite impressive. (Mr Zellner who sits behind Rachel shrugs) Rachel: Wha... My resumé? I wouldn't... I wouldn't call my online dating profile a resumé. Mr Campbell: Dating profile? I-I-I'm talking about the work resumé. Rachel: (starts singing la la la la) Whatever happened to just singing for no reason? Huh? Mr Campbell: Maybe people... found it weird.... So, why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren? Rachel: What? I-I don't. Mr Campbell: You don't? Rachel: No, I-I-I love it there. Mr Campbell: Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch? (Rachel mimes and mouths to mr Campbell "That is my boss", pointing to mr Zellner) Mr Campbell: What? (Rachel now silently whispers "That's my boss".) Mr Campbell: That's Hugo Boss? (Rachel holds her hand in order to support her head. Mr Zellner obviously overheard the conversation.) [Scene: A counter at a government building. Phoebe's waiting in line.] Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kll myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't. Clerk: How can I help you? Phoebe: I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. (the clerk shows no change in expression whatsoever) You're fun. Clerk: You need to fill out this form. (motions for the next person in line) Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay? Clerk: It can be anything you want. Phoebe: Well, not anything, I mean... Clerk: Yeah... anything. Phoebe: Oh, this could take a while. Clerk: Get out of my line. Phoebe: Okay. [Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Monica are there when Phoebe enters.] Phoebe: Hey! Monica: Hey Pheebs. Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today. Monica: Oh, I'm sorry, mrs Hannigan. Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock. Chandler: That's what we were gonna name the baby. Monica: Phoebe! Phoebe: Uh! Princess Consuela. Monica: You seriously changed your name to that? Phoebe: Uh-huh! Monica: Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela? Phoebe: Uhm, no. I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie. (Rachel enters, looking depressed) Chandler: Hey, how'd the interview go? Rachel: Oh! It's not good. Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think. Rachel: Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren. Chandler: That is a bad interview. Phoebe: What are you, what are you talking about? How did this happen? Rachel: Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true. Monica: Oh God. I'm so sorry. (Ross enters with a bottle in his hand) Ross: Hey! Wha-hoo! What's this? (showing the bottle) Well it's a, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here? Phoebe: Ross... Ross: I guess it's here because I GOT TENURE! All (except Rachel): Congratulations! (Rachel looks devastated) Ross: This is the single greatest day of my professional career. gn, six glasses! gn: Six? You want me to join you? Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (gn leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow. Chandler: Ooh! Israeli champagne. And it's vanilla! Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go? Rachel: Oh it... good! Yeah, but I'm not gonna hear from that for a couple of days. Ross: Oh, you know what? You're gonna get it. I-I-I-I can feel it. Phoebe: Can you? Rachel: Ah, all right. Here's to Ross! Ross: And-and to years of hard work finally paying off. Phoebe: And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. (Rachel mouths "aah") Ross: But also knowing it means a lot. Monica: But more importantly to full well-rounded lives. Ross: ...that center around work. Chandler: To Ross! All (except Rachel): Ross! (they all drink from the champagne, but clearly dislike the taste of it) Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired. Phoebe: Oh God! Ross: No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. (Rachel starts crying) Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me. Rachel: (crying) No, it's not that. I got fired today. And I didn't get the other job. Ross: Rach, I'm so sorry. Rachel: Oh! Ross: Great. I feel like an idiot. Rachel: No, it's okay, you didn't know. Ross: Oh... (to the others) Little heads-up would have been nice. [Scene: Chandler and Monica's future house. They enter the living room with the realtor and Joey.] Monica: Thank you for letting us see the house again. Chandler: And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means... I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you. Realtor: Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through. (she leaves the room) Monica: Ah, so glad you decided to come. Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus. Chandler: What? Joey: Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it. Monica: No it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything. Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason. Monica: Maybe because it's you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here. Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. (starts feeling around him like he's in a completely dark room, touching Chandler, who backs out and hits him) Monica: No it's not! Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner! Chandler: When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't ht a mailbox, did it? Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter. Monica: Oh Joey, look, we know you're having a hard time with this, but we really, we love it here. Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Monica: Joey, we know that's you. Joey: no... hmmmmm... it's not... hmmmmmmmmmm [Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.] Mike: Hey (He kisses Phoebe) Phoebe: Welcome back! Mike: Ah! I missed you Phoebe: Oh, me too! Mike: So, what's new? Phoebe: Well, I'm no longer Phoebe Buffay. Mike: That's great! You changed you name? Phoebe: Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! (She smiles from ear to ear) Mike: (afraid) You're kidding right? Phoebe: Nope. Mike: You really did that? Phoebe: Yep. Mike: Yeah, but you can't do that. Phoebe: Why? It's fun, it's different, no-one else has a name like it. Mike: (looks at her astonished) Alright, then I'm gonna change my name. Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to? Mike: Crap Bag. Phoebe:(not amused) Mike Crap Bag? Mike: No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag. Phoebe: You're not serious, right? Mike: Yeah, I'm serious. (sarcastic) It's fun, it's different and no-one else has a name like that! Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it. Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela. Phoebe: And I love Crap. [Scene: Joey is in Monica and Chandler's future house, sitting in a child's bedroom, looking at a quiz card which has "5+10=" printed on one side.] Joey: (turns the card around, obviously had the wrong answer) Ow! (A young girl enters) Girl: Who are you? Joey: Oh, hi, I'm Joey. My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you? Girl: I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house. Joey: (understanding) Oh. Mackenzie: (sighs) I hate my parents. Joey: I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening. Mackenzie: Like what? Joey: (thinking) Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted! Mackenzie: What are you? Eight? Joey: Woah, uh! Okay, let's hear your great idea. Mackenzie: I don't have any great ideas. I am eight. Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean? Mackenzie: I really don't. Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends. Mackenzie: My parents say I'm gonna make new friends. Joey: Oh, yeah, sure, easy for you, you're young. Me, I'm set in my ways. Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right? Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess. Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it? Joey: (having difficulty admitting it) Yeah, maybe. Mackenzie: Then you gotta let them go. Joey: (In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart? Mackenzie: I read a lot. Joey: (his mood changes instantly) Just when I thought we could be friends. (he leaves the room) [Scene: Outside Ralph Lauren building. Rachel just walked out carrying a box of her stuff, and a strange man approaches her.] Man: Hey Rach, I just heard. I'm so sorry. Rachel: Oh, thank you... (looks at his face trying to remember his name) Man: You still don't know my name, do you? Rachel: (Is embarrassed for a moment, but it quickly passes) Well, now I don't have to. (The man leaves instantly) (In the meantime, Ross is trying to squeeze and push a rather large chair through the revolving doors of the Ralph Lauren building.) Rachel: (annoyed) Ross, what is taking you so long? Ross: (stares at her through the door and starts pushing the chair harder, looking very annoyed. He finally manages) (sarcastic) I'm sorry, it's almost as if this wasn't built for a quick getaway! (Mark, approaches from behind and recognizes her) Mark: Rachel? Rachel: (turns around) Mark? Oh my God! (puts the box on the chair and they hug each other) Mark: How've you been? Rachel: I'm fantastic. You remember Ross? Mark: Sure, sure. (To Ross) What's with the chair. (Rachel signals him not to mention she's been fired) Ross: Uh, you know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so... (laughs stupidly) Mark: Clever. (back to Rachel) So how are you? Rachel: Oh, well, (looks at her box and chair) you're not catching me on my best day. Mark: Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff doesn't exactly say big promotion. Rachel: No, but it's good, you know, I'm gonna take some time off and do some charity work. Mark: Are you sure, because we may have something at Louis Vuitton. Rachel: Well, screw charity work. What've you got? Mark: Why don't we have dinner tonight and talk about it? Rachel: Great! I'll call ya! Mark: (shakes Ross' hand) Nice to see you. Ross: Yeah! yeah, I got tenure! (Mark looks at him strangely and walks off) Rachel: (very excited) Oh my God! Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before? Rachel: Ross! That's Mark. From Bloomingdales? You were insanely jealous of him. Ross: (realizing) That is Mark? Rachel: Yes. Ross: I hate that guy. Rachel: Oh. Ross: No, no, NO, you cannot go to dinner with him. Rachel: What? You don't want me to get a job? Ross: Oh yeah, I'm sure he's gonna give you a job. Maybe make you his SEXretary. Rachel: Ugh. Ross: I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay? Rachel: Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away) [Scene: Chandler and Monica's new house. Sitting near the window, they look at the neighborhood.] Monica: Oh, I love this street. The trees, the big front yards, the actual picket fences. Chandler: Man, those two dogs are going at it! Joey: (entering) Hey! Chandler: Hey. Monica: Hey, where have you been? Joey: Oh, just er... you know, looking around. But you know what? This house... is great. Chandler: Really? What changed your mind? Joey: Oh well, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago. (Joey's eyes double in size) Joey: (frightened) What? Chandler: Ha! I'm just messing with you. Joey: That's not funny! You know I'm afraid of little girl ghosts! Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room? Joey: What? I get my own room? Chandler: You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room do you? Joey: Oh my God! (they all hug) Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing? Chandler and Monica: No! Joey: Why not? I'll keep the t*nk clean. [Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are leaving.] Mike: After you, miss Banana Hammock. Phoebe: Thank you, mister Bag. (a woman enters and recognizes Phoebe) Woman: Oh hey, how are you? Phoebe: Oh hi Rita! Good! (to Mike) Oh, Rita's a massage client. Mike: Oh! Why don't you introduce me? Phoebe: (shrugs) Er, Rita, this is my husband. Rita: Oh! (they shake hands) Phoebe: Yeah. Mike: Why don't you tell her my name? Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag. Rita: Crap Bag? Mike: If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap. Rita: Okay. Excuse me... Phoebe: Yeah... Ogh... Okay, fine. You made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again? Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay. Phoebe: How about uhm... How about Buffay-Hannigan? Mike: Really? Phoebe: Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan Banana Hammock. Mike: Do you even know what a banana hammock is? Phoebe: It's a funny word. Mike: It's a Speedo. Phoebe: ...Oh crap! [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross enters.] Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Monica: No. Ross: She's still at dinner? Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with? Ross: That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her. Chandler: It's seven years ago. (he looks surprised) My time machine works! Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants. Monica: So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute. Chandler: Excuse me? Monica: Oh please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time. Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents. Monica: Oh, sorry! (She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.) Rachel: (entering) Hi you guys! Ross: Hey, so uhm... How was dinner? Rachel: Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet. Ross: (speaking without pause, agitated) Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want? Rachel: Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins. Ross: Should we send something? Chandler: How did the job stuff go? Rachel: He offered me one. Chandler: That's great! Ross: Congratulations! Rachel: I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great... Ross: Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest. Rachel: The job is in Paris. (they all stare at each other) COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey's on the phone.] Joey: I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies? Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear) Joey: Hey bear, I need some career advice. THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x14 - The One With Princess Consuela"}	foreverdreaming
Teleplay by: Tracy Reilly Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Sebastiano & Vanessa [Flashback scene from last week, Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there.] Jennifer: Previously on Friends... Chandler: How did the job stuff go? Rachel: He offered me one. Ross: (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest. Rachel: The job is in Paris. (we see Ross stare in disbelief) FADE OUT Rachel: Oh, God! Please, somebody say something. Ross: So if you take this job you'll be moving to Paris? Chandler: Or facing a bitch of a commute. Rachel: I know, it's huge, and it's scary, and it's... really far, far away from you guys, but this is such an incredible opportunity for me. And I've already talked to them about our situation with Emma, and they said they'll do whatever we need to make us feel comfortable. Ross: Okay. Rachel: I mean, I'll fly back and forth, they'll fly you out... Anything we want. Chandler: My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. (Monica looks at him and can't really place what he just said) Ross: All right, we'll work it out. Rachel: Thank you! Thank you! Ross: Yeah, yeah! (they hug) You sure this is what you want? Rachel: I think it is. (Ross looks very sad. Phoebe and Joey enter.) Phoebe: Ooh, what's going on? Rachel: I got a really incredible job offer. Joey: Hey, great! All right! Phoebe: Good for you! Rachel: It's in Paris. Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs... Monica: Hey, this afternoon you said you'd be supportive... Joey: Well, it comes and goes. I wouldn't trust it. Rachel: Look, you guys... this is really, really important to me. And it means a lot if you could try to get on board. Phoebe: Of course we can. Congratulations. (they hug, but Joey shakes his head.) Yay! (she gestures Joey to come and join in) Joey... Joey: No, no, no. My hugs are reserved for people STAYING IN AMERICA. Rachel: (walking towards Joey) Joey, it would mean so... Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him) Rachel: Joey... Phoebe: You okay with this? Chandler: Well, it makes me feel sad, but... Phoebe: Talking to Ross. Chandler: I see. Ross: Well, Rachel moving to another country? Not being able to see her every day. How can I be okay with this? Monica: I know, but what are we gonna do? She really needs this job. Ross: Do you think if the Ralph Lauren people offered her her old job back, she would take it? Monica: How is that gonna happen? Chandler: Is this the best way to use one of your three magic wishes? Ross: I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really ht it off. Monica: You mean the guy who kept calling you Ron? Ross: I didn't say we were brothers. OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's reading a newspaper. Chandler and Monica walk in.] Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't. Chandler: We close escrow tomorrow, so seeing another house can only confuse us, and we're easily confused. We're not very bright. Monica: But what if it is better than ours? Should we at least look? Chandler: What do you think Pheebs? Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard? Chandler: Yeah. Phoebe: She died. Chandler: You're kidding! Monica: That's terrible! Phoebe: Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. (Chandler and Monica look puzzled) Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one. Chandler: Oh yeah? Phoebe: Yeah, she was just an agent. Monica: Joey's gonna be so* upset. Chandler: I know. He always wanted to be the first black man to cross the Atlantic. Phoebe: Well, we cannot tell Joey about this. He's already flipping out about everything that's changing. This will push him over the edge. Monica: Seriously, you don't think we should tell him? Phoebe: Well, not for a little while. Let's just give him a few days to get used to everything else. Monica: What if he reads it in the paper? Chandler: Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay. [Scene: Ralph Lauren. Mr Zelner's office. Ross knocks on the door and enters.] Mr Zelner: May I help you? Ross: Yeah, I'm a friend of Rachel Green's. Uhm, actually we met at the Christmas party about two years ago. Mr Zelner: Oh right, uhm, Don? Ross: Close. Ron. (shakes hands) Mr Zelner: Uh... What can I do for you? Ross: Uhm, well... I'm here to see if you'll give Rachel her job back. Mr Zelner: Ah, did she ask you to come here and do this? Ross: Oh, no. At first I have to get you to agree. Then we'll see if she wants to come back. Mr Zelner: Wow, that is tempting. Ross: Look, she loved her job here. And let's face it: you're not gonna find anyone who did it as well as she did it. Isn't that true? Mr Zelner: She is good! Ross: (surprised) Huh, I took a sht there. Mr Zelner: But I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do... Ah, it's not true, there is... nothing I want to do. Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son? Mr Zelner: Yeah, his name is Ross. (Ross looks very surprised) What? Ross: Oh, nothing, it’s just, it’s close to Ron. Does he.. Does little Ross like dinosaurs by any chance? Mr Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about, why? Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils! Mr Zelner: You can really arrange that? Ross: You let Rachel come back, and it’s done. Mr Zelner: Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life. Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs. Ross: He’ll be fine. [Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe’s reading, Joey has just entered the room] Joey: Hey Phoebe. Phoebe: Hey. Everything ok? Joey: I’m just mad at my agent. Phoebe: Estelle? Why? Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason. Phoebe: I’m guessing she does. Joey: Well (taking his cell phone out of a pocket) I’m wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this. Phoebe: Well, no, no, wait, wait, wait. All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her. Joey: Ok. Why? Phoebe: Because a promise between friends means never having to give a reason. (she leaves) Joey: I love that saying! (Phoebe is outside, taking her cell phone out of her bag and making a call. Joey is inside, and his mobile phone starts ringing). Joey: Hello? Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle. Joey: I was just gonna call you! That’s weird. Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie. Joey: Yeah, actually I am! Phoebe-Estelle: I guess I dropped the ball there. Whoopsie! Joey: That’s it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball. Phoebe-Estelle: Don’t take that tone with me. Who you think you are? Alan Lemond, the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic? Joey: No, no, look. All I’m saying is that you’re my agent, ok? And you’re not getting me into any auditions and I’m tired of it. Phoebe-Estelle: What are you saying? Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone). Phoebe: Man, tough week for Estelle! [Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel’s there and Ross enters the room with a stuffed dinosaur] Ross: Hi. Rachel: Hi. Ross: Emma left her stuffed t-rex at my house. You know she can’t sleep without it. Rachel: Oh, well, she’s asleep now. Stop forcing that thing on her. Ross: Ok. Rachel: Oh, you’re not gonna believe what happened to me today! Ralph Lauren called, and gave me my job back! Ross: Nooo! Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me. Ross: So, you’re not going to Paris. Rachel: No, I’m still going. Ross: Wh… wh…what? Rachel: When the Louis Vuitton people found out that Ralph Lauren wanted me back, the offered me more money! Isn’t that great? Ross: Yeeeah! (They high-five) [Scene: house next to the one the Bings are moving into. Chandler and Monica knock, a lady opens the door.] Monica: Hi. We’re buying the house next door, and we were wondering if we could just take a look around. Lady: Oh, sure. I’m showing it to someone else right now, but please, look around. Monica: Thanks. Chandler: It feels like we’re cheating on our house. And if we’re gonna cheat, shouldn’t it be with like a hot, younger house, that does stuff that our house won’t do? Monica: Ours is so much better! This living room is smaller, the dining room looks like a cave! What a hole! Lady: So? What do you think? Monica: Love it! Lady: Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one. Monica: They could be our neighbors, what are they like? Lady: Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she… Janice: Oh my God! (Chandler and Monica are speechless). Chandler (to Monica): Sure. [Scene: Joey’s apartment. He’s there and Phoebe comes in.] Phoebe: Hey Joey, want come with me to… are you ok? Joey: Yeah, I just… I just feel bad about fring Estelle. This is got to be klling her. Phoebe: No, that wouldn’t kll her. Ordinary embolism might. Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again. Phoebe: No, no, no! Don't call her! You wait for her to call you (Joey considers it) Joey: Why? Phoebe: Because patience is the road to understanding (she thinks) which ... is the key... to a happy heart. Joey: (impressed) You blow me away. Phoebe: (picking up her bag) All right, so promise you're gonna wait for her to call you? Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves) [Scene: The house Monica and Chandler are viewing. Janice comes down the stairs.] Janice: What a small world! Chandler: And yet I never run into Beyonce! Realtor: You two know each other? Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding wr? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her) Chandler: (at Janice's punching) Don't, don't! (looks disgusted) Monica: No, actually, we're buying the house next door. (Janice gasps) Chandler: (To Monica and with bulging eyes) Why!? Monica: (looks confused and scared) I don't know why. Janice: Ooh, that decides it then. I was on the fence. But knowing that you two would be our neighbors? Ah! now we have to get it! (Chandler and Monica are utterly shocked) Ellen, we're going to talk numbers. (Grabs Ellen by her elbow and pulls her outside) Chandler: This can not be happening! Monica: Okay, the realtor said another couple made an offer. Maybe the Janice's won't get it! Maybe the other couple will. Chandler: The only way that that is going to happen, is if the other couple are the Hitlers. Monica: (Thinks a little more) Okay, Okay, (clapping her hands) All right. What if we got both houses? Huh? We can turn this house into a guest house. Chandler: That is a great idea! And by the way, I don't mean to sound distasteful, but when did you start crapping money!? Monica: Okay, you come up with an idea. Chandler: Alright alright, we still have three hours till escrow closes on our house. We can still get out. Monica: But we love our house. Chandler: Will we love it so much with her next door? And she's gonna be louder out here too. Just the crickets and (apes Janice's voice) "Oh My God"! Monica: Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. (She shows this with her index finger, mimicking it pushing something up) Chandler: (looks afraid, but at the same time, knows she's right) Well, we have to do something. We can't have her living next door. (Janice's laughs loudly outside) Oh, that does it too. (Motions with his index finger like Monica did) [Scene: Mr. Zellner's office. There is a knock on the door.] r Zelner: Who is it? Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back. Mr Zelner: This may surprise you, but re-hiring fired employees, is not my main job. Ross: Just hear me out. How would you feel about offering her a raise? (looks hopeful) Mr Zelner: (obviously amused) Not good, Ron. Ross: Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this (Takes a huge egg out of his back) genuine pterodactyl egg (whispers) replica. Mr Zelner: (Takes a long look at the egg while he considers it) Wow, that's pretty cool (Takes the egg from Ross) Ross: Huh? So? We have a deal? Mr Zelner: Okay, you got it. Ross: Yes! yes! Mr Zelner: This is gonna make me very popular. Ross: Oh, (grins) Believe me, the ladies, they love it! Mr Zelner: (looks at Ross, for a long moment, confused) I meant with my son. Ross: Good, 'cause the ladies, not so much. (shakes his head, give him a thumbs up and leaves) [Scene: Joey's apartment. He walks in reading his mail, and plays back his messages on the answering machine] Answering machine: Joey, this is Al T. Booker, (Looks annoyed that he called him) the guy who eats paper. I'm sure you've heard that Estelle passed away. (Looks shocked) I wanted to let you know there's a memorial for her at the Westside chapel, tomorrow at ten. Hope you can make it. Joey: Oh my God. (Still in shock when his mobile rings, he picks it up) Hello? Phoebe: (on the other side of the line, still pretending to be Estelle) Joey, it's Estelle. (Joey's eyes bulge up, he looks afraid) Joey: Estelle? Phoebe: Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for fring me. Joey: (still scared) Ok-ay. I just, I can't believe you're calling me? Phoebe: Well, I didn't think I should just drop by... Joey: No, no, no! (Starts looking around the room, terrified) Don't drop by, don't drop by! Phoebe: Anyway, you did what you had to do. I'm okay. Joey: Can I ask you something? Uhm, what's it like there? Phoebe: (Looks around) It's alright. Look kiddo, I gotta go. Good luck with the career. You're gonna be huge. Joey: Thanks for everything Estelle. Bye. (Hangs up and reads the phone display) "out of area". Boy, I'll say. [Scene: The house next door to Chandler and Monica's new house. Chandler is pacing worriedly through the living room when Janice enters.] Janice: Well... I just talked to Sid, we are definitely putting in an offer on the house... a-a-and I'll bet we get it. Chandler: The Hitlers will be so disappointed. Janice: All right, I got to run. Tell Monica I say goodbye. And... I'll see you later, neighbor. (Janice laugh) Chandler: Wait! I just want you to know that... I'm so happy you're going to be here. Janice: Oh, me too... (laughs) Chandler: Because... that way... we can pick up where we left off. Janice: Huh? Chandler: I never stopped loving you. Janice: Oh... my... Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein. Janice: Chandler, what are you talking about? Chandler: Now that you live next door, we can be together every day. Sid and Monica never have to know a thing. Janice: I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us. Chandler: (stunned) Obviously. Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now. Chandler: Don't say that. Don't tangle the dream and take it away. Janice: Chandler, one of us has got to be strong. Chandler: I understand. Janice: Although, maybe just... one last moment of weakness... (she kisses Chandler flat on the mouth. Chandler squirms. When she's finished, he looks at her lovingly but uneasily.) Goodbye Chandler Bing. (She leaves) Chandler: (speaking as in pain) They're never coming down now. [Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is working on his laptop when Rachel enters with Emma.] Rachel: Hi! Ross: Hey! Rachel: You are never going to believe what happened to me today. Ross: What? Rachel: Ralph Lauren called again and they offered me more money. Ross: They did? Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in. Ross: So, what are you gonna do? Rachel: Well, I took it. Ross: That's great! So you're staying in New York! Both: YAY! WHOO! YAY! Ross: You're excited, right? Rachel: (hesitant) Ye-ah. Yeah! You know, the money's great. It's certainly the easier choice... Ross: Right! Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example) Ross: Uhm, I hadn't no you... I had no idea you were so excited about Paris. Uhm, I mean, you said you were scared. Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around) Ross: (after a long pause) You should go. Rachel: What? Ross: It's what you want. You should go. Rachel: You really think so? Ross: I really do. Rachel: But I already told Zelner that I would come back... Ross: (picks up a skull of some carnivore from his side table and puts it in the same bag in which he brought the pterodactyl egg to Zelner) I'm sure he'll understand. Rachel: All right. ALL RIGHT! I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go to Paris. Ross: Yeah... Rachel: Yeah! I'm going to Paris. Thank you, Ross! Ross: Yeah, yeah, oh! (They hug) Rachel: Oh! Oh, I'm so happy. Ross: Then I'm happy too. (They're still hugging - fade out) COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Estelle's memorial service. Joey is giving a speech. Next to him is a blown op photograph of Estelle behind her desk and there's a man standing next to him.] Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.) THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x15 - The One Where Estelle Dies"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa Final check by Kim [Scene: Joey's place. Rachel and Joey are talking] Joey: All right, all right, all right, let's play one more time, ok? And remember, if I win you do not move to Paris. Rachel: Ok! Can't believe I'm risking this again, but you're on! All right Joe, you remember the rules! Heads I win, tails you lose. Joey: Just flip! Rachel (she flips the coin): Ha, tails! Joey: Damnit! (Chandler and Monica enter the room) Chandler: Hey! Joey: Hey! Chandler: So we thought we'd throw you little going away party around seven. Rachel: Oh, that sounds good! Monica: Hey, Rach, you're leaving tomorrow, shouldn't you be packing? Rachel: It's all done! Monica: Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it. Rachel: I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane... Monica: Ok, so you've done some good work! (pause) What about your carry-ons? Rachel: Oh, well. Everything that I need (she takes her bag) is in here and my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them. Monica: Oh my God! I have nothing left to teach you! (they hug) Chandler: Where's your passport? Rachel: It should be right next to my plane ticket. Chandler: Well, it's not. Rachel: What? Maybe I put it in here (she opens her bag). Oh, oh, it's not in there! Oh, no! I must have packed it in one of these boxes! Monica: Here, let me help you. (they both start opening boxes) Rachel: sh*t. Oh, I can't believe I did this! Chandler (to Joey): At what point did it stop being funny that I took her passport? OPENING SEQUENCE [Scene: Monica's apartment. Monica and Erica are talking about the baby, and Monica is rubbing Erica's tummy.] Monica: Oh, wow, can you believe you're like three weeks away? Erica: I know. Monica: You don't mind me touching your belly, do you? Erica: No, I don't mind you touching my belly, but right now your hand is kind of blocking the part where the baby is gonna come out. (She takes her hand off Erica. Ross enters the room) Ross: Hey! Erica: Hi. Ross: Hey Erica, welcome back to town! (pause) Wow, look how big you've gotten. Erica: That's because I'm pregnant! Ross: Right, no, I understand. Erica: Oh, ok. I'm just always afraid that people think I'm just fat with big breasts. Ross: No, no, I knew (he stares at her breasts). Monica (to Ross): Okay, well, stop staring at them. Ross: She brought them up! (pause) I didn't realize you were coming back so soon! Erica: Hey, well, in a couple of weeks I won't be able to travel. Monica: Yeah, and I wanted her to get to know the doctors and get settled into the hotel. Ross: Hotel? Why isn't she staying with you guys? Monica: Because we're moving in a couple of days and it just didn't make sense. Erica: Plus hotels are fun! My room has this little fridge full of free snacks! Ross: Erica, those things aren't free. In fact they have one of the highest mark-ups of any consumer product... Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants. Erica (standing up): I'll be right back. Ross: Oh man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place. Monica: Oh, I know. I know. Hey, you know, you can take it if you want! The lease is still in Nana's name. Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey? Monica: Yeah, it takes two incomes. Ross: Hey, is Chandler here? We talked about catching a movie. Monica: Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room. Ross: Mhm, (he balance things) packing - sexy cheerleader comedy. Monica: Mhm, helpful brother - creepy loner at teen movie. (Ross takes the tape roll she's handing him and walks to the guest room while mocking Monica's voice) [Scene: Guest room. Joey has his head wrapped in bubbled wrap and Chandler is punching him. Ross enters the room.] Ross: What are you guys doing? Joey: Try it, I can't feel a thing! (Ross starts punching him too) Monica (enters the room): Are, are you kidding? This is packing? Chandler: We're taking a break! Monica: From? Chandler: Jumping on the bed? Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos! Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him! Chandler: No, no, no, guys. She's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey you pack 'em and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs. (Joey takes the bubble wrap off his head) Joey: You guys hear a ringing? Chandler: (holding a pair of furry handcuffs) What the hell is this? Joey: Hey! Handcuffs! And fur line, nice! I didn't know you guys had it in ya! Ross: Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out. Chandler: I didn't know Monica had these! Joey: Mhm, maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard! Chandler: Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky! I once did a naked dance for her... with scarves! Ross: Bumming hard, guys, bumming hard. [Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.] Phoebe: Hey! Monica: Hey! Where's Mike? Phoebe: Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig. Ross: Yeah? Yeah, where is it? Phoebe: Oh, he's playing organ for a children's roller-skating party. Ross: Rock on! Phoebe (watching the food on the table): Wow, this is quite a spread! (pause) What is all this stuff? Monica: Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoke oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange. Joey: (entering the room) Hey. Chandler: Hey. Ross: Hey, where's Rach? Joey: Oh, she's putting Emma down, she'll be over in a second. Ross: Great. Joey: Now it just ht her that she's leaving and she's kind of emotional so no one say anything to set her off, ok? Monica: Yeah. (Rachel enters the room) Everybody: Hey Rach, hey you. Ross: Here she is! Rachel (crying): Hi you guys! Joey: What did I just say? Rachel: No, no, no. It's ok. I'm gonna be fine. Monica: Come here, I'll make you a drink. Ross: Oh, man! I can't believe she's actually leaving. How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel? Chandler: I know, she's been such a big part of my life. And it feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled. (Ross and Joey looks puzzled) I mean... oh, forget it. I miss Melrose Place! Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too! Ross: Yeah? Joey: Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. (he stops and starts realizing something) Wait a minute... Chandler: Yes, Joe? Joey: I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning! Phoebe (to Rachel): You doing ok? Rachel: Well, I've been better. Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Rachel: You guys are gonna come and visit me, right? Phoebe: Yes! You know, in six months the Statute of Limitations runs out and I can travel internationally again! Rachel: I'm gonna miss you so much. Phoebe: I know. Rachel: You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here (they go into the guest room). Ross: Hey, what do you think they're doing in there? Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching. [Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.] Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, I don't even know where to start. Phoebe: Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, (she takes something out from her pocket) but I do have something for you. Rachel: Oh, oh. (she's holding the present, a transparent bag with a white stick in it). What is this? Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs! Rachel: I'm gonna throw this away, but thank you so much for the gesture! [Scene: Monica's apartment. The living room.] Monica: Chandler? I was just in our bedroom and I found these (she holds the furry handcuffs) on my pillow. Chandler: Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play! Monica: What are you talking about? These aren't mine. Chandler: Oh yeah, right! Good luck getting another scarf dance from me! Monica: That would be a terrible punishment. But, I'm serious, I've never seen these before. Chandler: Really? Then what are they doing in our guestroom? Monica: Rachel used to live in that room. Chandler: Rachel... with handcuffs! Interesting! (he looks excited) Monica: Joey's bare ass! Chandler: (he doesn't look excited anymore). Well played. (Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.) Rachel: I love you Phoebe. Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again) Rachel: All right. Well, if I gonna do this, I'd better keep going. Phoebe: Ok. Rachel: Ok. Monica? Monica: Yeah? Rachel: Can you come here with me for a minute? Monica: Sure. Phoebe: (to Monica) Are you wearing waterproof mascara? Monica: No. Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room) Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about? Phoebe: She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually. Ross: Are you kidding? Oh my God... Phoebe: Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying. Ross: Oh, man, I'm not going to be able to handle this. (pause) Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year. And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations. [Scene: The guest bedroom. Rachel and Monica are talking to each other.] Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me... Monica: I know what you mean. You're like a sister to me too. Rachel: (starts crying and speaking at the same time, making it almost impossible to understand what she's saying) I wouldn't know what I'm gonna do without you... Monica: (having the same problem) You're the best friend I ever had. Rachel: (says something that cannot be understood) Monica: What? Rachel: I... I... I... (again saying something that cannot be understood) Monica: That is so sweet. (they hug) [Scene: Back to the living room. Monica and Rachel enter and hug each other. The guys see this.] Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing. Chandler: Uh, Rach? Ross: Well it's okay. Chandler is talking to her. Joey: I really made you think about that thing uh? Chandler: (to Rachel) Uh, Rach... I think I have something that belongs to you. (shows her the cuffs) Rachel: (laughs) Oh, I'm sure gonna miss pretending to laugh at your weird jokes that I don't get. Chandler: No, no, no... They're really yours. We... found them in your old room. Rachel: Well, these aren't mine. Maybe Monica used to use them with... Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they? Rachel: Well, I think you're forgetting the kinkiest former resident of that room. Chandler: Pheebs! Phoebe: (from the other side of the room) Yeah! Chandler: I think these are yours. Phoebe: These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice. Rachel: (to Chandler) Can I talk to you alone for a minute? Chandler: Sure. (to Phoebe) You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you? Phoebe: Where do you think Mike really is? (she giggles, Chandler looks aghast) [Scene: The guest bedroom. Chandler and Rachel.] Rachel: Oh honey... Chandler: Let me just say something... Because once we get into this, I'm gonna get all uncomfortable and probably make some stupid joke... I just want to say that I... I love you... And, I'm gonna miss you. And I'm so sad that you're leaving. Rachel: (all mushy) Oh, you know what? Let's not say anything else. I love you. (they hug) Chandler: Ooh, not so tight... (blows raspberry, and the hug ends) I'm sorry, just give me one more chance. Rachel: Okay. Oh... (Chandler blows raspberry again) Rachel: Oh! Chandler: I'm sor... Just go. Just go. I can't, I can't. [Scene: Monica's living room. We look outside to the balcony where Rachel is saying goodbye to Joey.] Monica: (to Ross) So, I guess you're next. You're ready? Ross: I don't think so. Chandler: Oh, you're definately not. I haven't cried like that in years. Monica: You cried yesterday at the six o'clock news. Chandler: That old woman was being scammed by her mechanic. Ross: God! I can't believe she saved me for last. (looking out to the balcony) Why are they taking so long? Phoebe: I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well. (Rachel and Joey hug, and Rachel turns to enter the apartment through the side window again. At that moment Joey tries to climb over the edge of the balcony.) All: No, no, no, no! (Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.) Ross: Okay, here we go... Rachel: Oh... (holding Ross's shoulder) Well... Ross: Yeah... Rachel: I think I'm gonna take off. (pats Ross on his back, but he looks very surprised) Ross: Huh? Rachel: Oh, you guys. This was an amazing night. Thank you so much. I love you. Good night. (She leaves the apartment and they all stare at Ross) Ross: What? I don't get a goodbye? Joey: (still very emotional) Lucky bastard! [Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.] Ross: Unbelievable. She says goodbye to everyone but me. Monica: Well, maybe she thought that with all of your history it could be, you know, implicit. Ross: Well, it needs to be plicit. Joey: All right, let's think about this. I mean, there's got to be an explanation. Uh... did you do anything to make her mad? Ross: No, I don't think so. Phoebe: You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk. It was pretty intense. Monica: Yeah. Mine too. Chandler: Mine was a humdinger Ross: (annoyed) O-kay... I mean, don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug? (Joey gives Ross a hug) NOT FROM YOU! (Joey lets go) Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her. Monica: And say what? "You owe me a goodbye", I mean, he's got more pride than that. Ross: THE HELL I DO! (Ross takes big steps leaving for Joey and Rachel's apartment, where Rachel is going through her papers.) Ross: I don't get a goodbye? Rachel: What? Ross: (talking agitated and angry) Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What have I got to do to get a goodbye, huh? Be best friends with you? Uh, go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things. Rachel: Ross... Ross: Oh no, maybe it's me, I'm just not giving you enough credit. Uh, I mean it is difficult to say goodbye to five people. Uh, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, good... (makes choking noises) IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. You know what? After all we've been through, I can't believe this is how you want to leave things between us. Have a, have a good time in Paris. (He leaves the apartment. Rachel looks kind of desperate.) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. The others are still there.] Monica: I hope Ross isn't too upset. Joey: I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am. Phoebe: Tell me about it. Chandler: Well, you can't say we don't know how to throw a party. Phoebe: All right, I think I'm gonna head out. Monica: Uh, where do you think you're going? Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here. Monica: We're moving in a couple of days and we've got a lot of packing to do. It would be great if you guys could pitch in. Chandler: Joey and I can finish up in the guest room. Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, good idea. (he mimes hitting his head with his fist) Monica: Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here. Chandler: (to Joey) You couldn't be cool. (he goes to the guest bedroom) Monica: Okay, we're gonna start in the kitchen. Plates get put into plate protectors and stacked ten to a box. The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped. Got it? Phoebe and Joey: Yeah. Monica: Good! Now I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you are doing it wrong. Chandler: Hey Mon, I think I figured out whose handcuffs they are. Monica: You did? How? Chandler: Well, I was cleaning out the closet and I found some pictures of them... being used. Monica: Oh my God! Let me see. (they all look at the pictures) Joey: Who's that dirty old lady? Chandler: Monica's grandmother. Monica: Nana liked it rough! (Erica, the pregnant girl, enters) Erica: Hi! All: Hey! Joey: Come on here, have a seat. Phoebe: How was your night? Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers. Monica: Erica, are you okay? Erica: Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach aches. They come and go like every few minutes. Monica: Oh my God! Chandler: Relax! We just get her some antacids. Monica: She doesn't have a stomach ache, she's in labor. Chandler: Oh my God! Phoebe: Yeah, you got to get to the hospital. Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating) Chandler: Honey, it's gonna be okay. Erica: You can do this. Just breathe. Monica: Okay, okay... Okay, I feel a little better. Erica: (in pain) Ooh! Are you sure? Monica: Oh... Yes, I'm sure. Oh honey, let's go. Okay bye everyone. (there's a lot of supportive cheers from all. Erica, Monica and Chandler leave.) Joey: Chandler, wait, wait, wait... Chandler: What? Joey: If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger. [Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel bursts in.] Rachel: You really think I didn't say goodbye to you because I don't care? Ross: That's what it seemed like. Rachel: I cannot believe that after ten years, you do not know ONE thing about me. Ross: Fine, then why didn't you say something? Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh! Ross: Rach! Rachel: What? Ross: You keep, you keep... You can't... Rachel: WHAT? (Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.) COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment.] Joey: A little more. Phoebe: Okay. (she starts to stuff styrofoam peanuts down the front of Joey's pants.) Joey: A little more, a little more. (she stuffs some more down his pants and Joey's assesses the how many there already are in there.) A little more... All right. Okay, all right, let's do this. Phoebe: All right, ready? Joey: Yeah. All right, now give me your best sh*t. Phoebe: All right, here it goes... (she knees him in the crotch. He jumps up a bit) Joey: (in pain) Doesn't work... (he falls down on on his knees with his head on the floor) THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x16 - The One With Rachel's Going Away Party"}	foreverdreaming
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Directed by: Kevin Bright Transcribed by: Kreidy [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. It's a scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.] Jennifer Aniston (V.O.): Previously on Friends. Monica: Erica, are you okay? Erica: Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach-aches. They come and go like every few minutes. Monica: Oh my God! Chandler: Relax! We'll just get her some antacids. Monica: She doesn't have a stomach-ache. She's in labor! Chandler: Oh my God! [Cut to Ross's apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. It's another scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.] Rachel: So if you think I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. Ross: Rach! Rachel: What?! (He walks over and kisses her. They pull back, Rachel looks at him, and they kiss again.) [Scene: Ross's bedroom. Rachel is putting on her shoes as Ross shows up from underneath the covers.] Ross: Hey. Rachel: Shh.. Go back to sleep. I have to go home. Ross: Oh. This was amazing. Rachel: It really was. You've learned some new moves! Ross: Yeah, well, this guy at work gave me "Sex for Dummies" as a joke. Rachel: Ah. Ross: Who's laughing now? Rachel: I know! (They kiss.) OPENING CREDITS [Scene: The delivery room at the hospital. Monica, Chandler and Erica are there. Erica is in labor, and she is breathing heavily.] Monica: Breathe, breathe, breathe... Good. Chandler: Next time, can I say breathe? Monica: No, last time you said it like Dracula, and it scared her! Can I get you anything? You want some more ice chips? Erica: No, I'm okay. Monica: Alright, I'll be right back. Chandler: Where are you going? Monica: To use the bathroom. Chandler: You can't leave me alone with her. Monica: What? Chandler: This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with! Monica: What kind of social situation are you comfortable with? Chandler: It's just that we've never spent any time, you know, alone together. Monica: You'll be fine. Nah, you won't, but I'll be back in two minutes. Chandler: Okay. (Monica leaves, and Chandler closes the door. Erica just looks at him.) Chandler: So, ah... Any plans for the summer? Erica: I don't know. Maybe church-camp? Chandler: Hah. May not wanna mention this. So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts? Erica: What? Chandler: Well, it's just interesting. You know, because no one will ever know, because no one can experience both. (Erica just looks at him like he's crazy.) Chandler: One of life's great, unanswerable questions. I mean, who knows? Maybe there's something even more painful than those things? Like this. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.] Phoebe: Morning. Joey: Hey! Phoebe: What's that? Joey: It's my house-warming present for Monica and Chandler. Phoebe: It's a baby chick and duck! Joey: Uh-huh. And I named them Chick Jr. and Duck Jr. Phoebe: I did not see that coming. Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to. Phoebe: Yes. Joey: Yeah. It's a shame people can't visit there. Phoebe: That is the rule, though. (Ross enters.) Phoebe: Guess what? You're almost an uncle! Ross: What? Joey: Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now! Ross: Oh my God! Phoebe: Yeah, and I have a definite feeling it's gonna be a girl. Ross: Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl. Phoebe: Have you seen him throw a ball? Ross: Is Rachel here? Joey: Uh, I think she's still asleep. Hey, hey, how did it go with you guys last night? She seemed pretty pissed at you. Ross: Uh, we, y'know, we worked things out. Phoebe: What's that smile? Did something happen with you two? Ross: Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it! Joey: Oh my God. You and Rachel? Ross: I know, it's pretty great. Joey: So what does that mean? Are you guys getting back together? Ross: Oh, I.. I don't know. We didn't really get to talk. Phoebe: But do you wanna get back together? Ross: I don't know. It was incredible. I mean, it just felt so right. When I was holding her, I mean, I never wanted to let her go. You know what? Yeah, I do. I wanna be together. Phoebe: (screaming) YAY! Ross: Shhh! Phoebe: (quietly) Yay! Joey: So, so is she still going to Paris? Ross: Wow, I hadn't thought of that. I hope not. Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..." (Rachel enters from her room.) Rachel: Morning! Phoebe: Guess we'll never know how it ends. Joey: Okay. Ross: Hey. Rachel: Hey. Ross: Hey. How did you sleep? Rachel: Good. You? Ross: Good. Joey: I bet you did! Ross: Uh. Would you guys mind giving us a minute? Joey: Sure, yeah. Will you just keep an eye on the chick and the duck? Rachel: Chick and the duck? Didn't they die... Phoebe: (interrupting) Dive. Yeah, they dove head-first into fun on the farm. (Joey and Phoebe leave.) Ross: So... (He kisses her.) Ross: Morning. Rachel: You too. Last night was just wonderful. Ross: It really was. Rachel: I woke up today with the biggest smile on my face. Ross: I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be. Rachel: Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. (She hugs him, and Ross looks crushed.) [Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.] Monica: It's just a little bit more, honey. Erica: Help me! This hurts! Chandler: Is it really that bad? Erica: Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse! (Monica gives Chandler a look.) Doctor: The baby's head is crowning. (Monica walks down to Erica's legs to watch the birth.) Monica: Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this! (Chandler is standing by Erica's head.) Chandler: I'm okay. Monica: Chandler, you don't wanna miss this. This is the birth of your child! It's the miracle of life! Chandler: Alright. Wow, that is one disgusting miracle. Doctor: Start pushing. Here we go. Here come the shoulders... (The baby starts crying, and the doctor holds it up.) Monica: It's a... It's a boy! Chandler: Wow! Erica: Is he okay? Doctor: He's just fine. Monica: Oh, you did it! Chandler: (emotional) It's a baby! A beautiful little baby! And some other stuff I'm gonna pretend I don't see. Doctor: Would you like to cut the umbilical cord? (A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.) Chandler: Well, that's spongy. Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky! Chandler: I know. He has your eyes. (Monica looks at him.) Chandler: I mean, I know that's not possible, but he does. Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit. (The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.) Chandler: Okay. Monica: (To Erica) Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much. Erica: I'm really happy for you guys. Chandler: How do you feel? Erica: I'm tired! Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute. (Chandler stares at the doctor, completely shocked. Monica just freezes and turns around slowly.) Monica: I... I'm sorry, who should be along in a what now? Doctor: The next baby should be along in a minute. Monica: We only ordered one! Doctor: You know it's twins, right? Chandler: Oh, yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know! COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: The hospital. Continued from earlier.] Doctor: I can't believe you didn't know it's twins! This has never happened before. Chandler: Well, gosh. That makes me feel so special and good. Monica: (to the doctor) Wait, did you know it was twins? Doctor: Yeah, it's here in the paperwork we got from the clinic in Ohio. Monica: (to Erica) Anybody tell you? Erica: I don't think so. Although, they did mention something about two heartbeats. But I thought that was just mine and the baby's. They kept saying both heartbeats are really strong, and I thought well, that's good 'cause I'm having a baby. Monica: This is unbelievable. Erica: Twins actually run in my family. Chandler: Interesting! (To Monica) Can I see you for a second? (They walk over to the door.) Chandler: What do we do? Monica: What do you mean "what do we do"? Chandler: (panicking) Twins! Twins!! Monica: Chandler, you're panicking! Chandler: Uh-huh! Join me, won't you?! Okay, what do you say we keep one, and then just like have an option on the other one? Monica: We can't split them up! Chandler: Why not? We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later, they'll find each other and be reunited. I mean, that's a great day for everybody. Monica: Okay, what if the person who adopts the other one is horrible? Chandler: What if they're not? What if it's adopted by a king? Monica: Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt. Chandler: Monica, we are not ready to have two babies! Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children! Chandler: (smiles) Okay. Shhh... (He hugs her.) Chandler: Okay. Monica: Okay! Chandler: Okay! Doctor: It looks like we're about ready over here. (Monica and Chandler run back to Erica's bed.) Doctor: Come on, Erica, start pushing again now. Erica: Ow! (Erica screams.) Doctor: Here she comes! Chandler: (shocked) She? It's a girl? Doctor: Yeah. Chandler: (To Monica) Well, now we have one of each! (To the doctor) And that's enough! [Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.] Ross: And then she said it was the perfect way to say goodbye. Joey: Oh my God! What did you say? Ross: Nothing! What do you say to that? Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel! Ross: No way! Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do? Ross: What? Joey: Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language. Phoebe: Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go. Ross: You really think so? Phoebe: I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. (Singing) "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..." (Rachel enters and interrupts Phoebe's song.) Rachel: Hi! Phoebe: Can't a girl finish a song around here? Joey: Hey! Rachel: Hi! So I just dropped Emma off at my mom's. Ross: Okay. Joey: Oh, you're not taking her with you tonight? Rachel: No, we decided that I would go ahead and set up first, and then my mom would bring Emma to Paris on Sunday. Phoebe: Wow, eight hour flight with a one-year old? Good luck, mom. Rachel: Are you kidding? Eight hours with my mother talking about Atkins? Good luck, Emma! (Rachel walks up to the counter.) Ross: Alright, you know what? You're right. I should at least tell her how I feel. (He stands up.) Joey: Ross, wait! Ross: What? What? Joey: Could you get me a muffin? (Ross walks up to Rachel, but gn gets there first.) gn: Rachel? Rachel: Yeah? gn: I... I know you're leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you. I love you. (Ross is shocked.) gn: I... I don't know if that changes your plans at all, but I thought you should know. Rachel: (touched) gn... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw. (She kisses him on the cheek and looks over at the others.) Rachel: Oh... Bye guys. (Rachel leaves.) Ross: Oh my God! Phoebe: Unbelievable! Joey: Hey, you know what might help? Ross: I'm not getting you a muffin! [Scene: The hospital. Monica and Chandler are holding the twins, while two nurses are taking care of Erica.] Monica: Do you think they recognize each other from in there? Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet. Nurse: We're going to take Erica to recovery now. Monica: There's something that we wanna tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Erica. Erica: Oh my God, that's just like my name! Monica: Son of a gn, it is! Erica: Anyway, I'm gonna go and get some rest. I'm really glad I picked you guys. You're gonna make great parents. Even Chandler. Monica: Okay, well, bye! Erica: Bye! Chandler: Bye! Monica: We'll call you! Erica: Okay. Chandler: Have fun at church-camp! (The nurses take Erica to the recovery room. Monica and Chandler smile at each other.) Monica: Oh, look at these little bunnies! Chandler: I know! You ready to trade? Monica: Okay. Chandler: Okay. Monica: Alright, let's see.. (They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.) Chandler: We could trade later. Monica: Yeah, I'm good. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.] Phoebe: Hey, what are you working on? Joey: It's a... It's a "welcome home" sign for the baby. (He holds up a white poster with huge red letters. It reads, "Welcome Home Baby." There is also a huge red stain on the left of the poster.) Phoebe: How sweet! Oh, is that the baby? (She points at the stain.) Joey: No, I sat in the paint. (Ross enters with a gift for the baby.) Ross: Hey. Phoebe: Hey. So, did you talk to Rachel? Ross: No, and I'm not going to. Phoebe: What? Joey: Why not? Ross: Because she's just going to sh*t me down. You guys saw what happened with gn. That did not look like fun. Phoebe: How can you compare yourself to gn? I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way. You have a relationship with her, you slept together last night. Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is. Joey: Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, sometimes... (He sits down in the wet paint again.) Phoebe: Uh, Joe? Joey: Damn it! Ross: Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time. Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of gn! (Mike enters with a roll of paper in his hand.) Mike: Hey! Phoebe: Hey! What do you have there? Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but.. (He shows them a beautiful banner he has made. It reads, "Welcome to the World, Baby Bing.") Ross: Oh my God! You did that yourself? Phoebe: Honey, that's gorgeous! Joey: You know, the baby can't read, Mike! (Rachel enters.) Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby! Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise. Phoebe: Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny, tiny beard. (Monica enters carrying her son.) Rachel: Oh my God! Ross: Oh my God! (They all walk over to see the baby.) Rachel: Hi! Oh my gosh! (Chandler enters carrying his daughter.) Chandler: Hey. (Everybody turns around.) Phoebe, Ross, Rachel: Hey. (They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.) Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise? Rachel: Oh. (Joey stares at Chandler and Monica and finally puts two and two together. He gasps.) Ross: Oh my God! Rachel: What... What... Ross: Okay, okay, awkward question. The hospital knows you took two, right? Monica: Yes, it's twins! Ross: Oh my God. Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they? Monica: (points at the baby she's holding) This is a boy, (points at the baby Chandler is holding) and that's a girl. Chandler: Her name is Erica. Rachel: Aw.. Joey: Hey, that pregnant girl's name was Erica. Chandler: Yeah. It's a shame you two didn't get to spend more time together. Monica: Yeah, we named the boy Jack after dad. Ross: Aw, he's gonna be so happy. Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!" (Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.) Rachel: Oh my gosh. Wow, so beautiful. Mike: (To Phoebe) I want one. Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, tell me which one, and I'll try slip it in my coat. Mike: Seriously. Wanna make one of those? Phoebe: One? How about a whole bunch? Mike: Really? Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the nzi. Although that sounds kinda dull. Rachel: Oh, you guys, I can't believe this. But I'll leave now, or I'm gonna miss my plane. Monica: I'm just so glad you got to see the babies. (They hug.) Rachel: Me too. Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much. Monica: I love you. Chandler: I love you. Monica: Call us when you get there. Rachel: I will. Ross, come here. (She pulls him over to the door.) Rachel: I just want you to know.. Last night.. I'll never forget it. Ross: Neither will I. (They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.) Rachel: Alright, now I really have to go. Okay. Au revoir! Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there. (She leaves.) Phoebe: So, you just let her go? Ross: Yeah. Joey: Hey, maybe that's for the best. Ross: Yeah? Joey: Yeah. You know? You just... Look, you gotta... You gotta think about last night the way she does, okay? Maybe, maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye? Phoebe: But now she'll never know how he feels! Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right? (Phoebe nods.) Joey: Maybe now you can actually do it. You know? You can finally get over her. Ross: Yeah, that's true. Except I don't wanna get over her. Joey: What? Ross: I don't! I wanna be with her. Joey: Really? Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna go after her. Joey: Yeah, you are! Phoebe: Woo! (Monica and Chandler look shocked as Ross goes to leave.) Phoebe: Wait, wait! Get your coat! Get your coat! Ross: My coat... Joey: This is so cool! Chandler: I have no idea what's going on, but I am excited! Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say? Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she sht me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?! Phoebe: You didn't bring one! My cab's downstairs, I'll drive you to the airport. Ross: Okay, guys, wish me luck. Phoebe: Hurry! Joey: Good luck, good luck! (Phoebe and Ross leave.) [Scene: The street right in front of Central Perk. Phoebe's cab is there. Ross and Phoebe run over and jump in.] Ross: There's no seatbelt! Phoebe: That's okay. If - if we ht anything, the engine will explode, so you know, it's better if you're thrown from the car. (Ross looks terrified.) Ross: Alright, alright, let's do this! Phoebe: Okay! (A guy comes up and gets into the backseat of the cab.) Ross: Hey! Man: 18th and East End. Phoebe: I - I don't take passengers. Man: Hey! The law says you have to accept any fare. Ross: No, you don't understand. This isn't a real cab. Man: Alright, I gotta report you. What's your medallion number? Phoebe: My medallion number is, "Get out of the cab!" Man: What? Ross: (screaming) Get out of the cab! Phoebe: Get out of the cab! (The man jumps out, obviously a little scared. Phoebe drives off.) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there, packing the last boxes.] Joey: Oh, hey, hey, can I give you guys your house-warming present now? Monica: Now, that you can do. Joey: Alright! (Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.) Joey: Ah... Chick Jr.? Duck Jr.? Don't hide from mama! [Scene: Phoebe's cab. Phoebe is driving very fast, and a terrified Ross has closed his eyes.] Phoebe: You can open your eyes now. Ross: Are we off the bridge? Phoebe: Yes. Ross: Is the old woman on the bicycle still alive? Phoebe: Yes, she jumped right back up. (Ross opens his eyes.) Ross: Oh my God, Phoebe, slow down! Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time? Ross: Yes, but I don't wanna die in your cab! Phoebe: You should have thought of that before you got in! (They drive up to a toll-booth.) Phoebe: Toll-booth. Ross: What? Phoebe: (screaming) Toll-booth! Four bucks. There are quarters in the glove compartment. (Ross tries to open a plastic bag filled with quarters, but he's quite slow.) Phoebe: Hurry! Ross: Okay! Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe tries to throw some quarters out the window, but she has forgotten to open the window, and she and Ross scream.) Phoebe: Damn, that window is clean. [Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is still looking for the birds.] Joey: Quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, tweet, quack... (Monica and Chandler enter.) Chandler: We were wondering what was taking so long with the gift, but now we understand you were doing this. Joey: Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck! (Chandler grins, while Monica is less enthusiastic.) Chandler: Really? You got us a chick and a duck? Monica: Oh, great! Just what you want for a new house with infants. Bird feces. Joey: Yeah, yeah, they must have jumped off the table, 'cause now they're gone! Chandler: Oh, don't worry, we'll find them. Monica: Actually, I'm gonna go check on the twins. Chandler: Alright. (Monica turns around and is about to leave when she steps on something.) Monica: Oh God! What did I just step on? Joey: Oh! Chandler: It's okay, it's just an egg roll. Monica: Oh.. Joey: You stepped on my egg roll? Monica: I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor. Joey: Just put it on a plate and leave. (She does so.) Chandler: Okay, let's find these birds. Joey: Alright. (Suddenly, they hear the birds.) Joey: Wait, wait. Do you hear that? (They realise that the birds are in the foosball table.) Joey: Oh! They're in the table! Chandler: Well, that can't be good! Joey: We gotta get them out of there! Chandler: How? Joey: Oh, oh! Maybe we can lure them out. You know any birdcalls? Chandler: Oh, tons, I'm quite the woodsman. Joey: Well, maybe we can just tip the table a little. Chandler: Joey, wait! The ball! Joey: Oh! (The ball rolls into one of the goals, and Chandler and Joey listen in horror as the ball makes its way inside the table. Finally, they can hear the birds again.) Joey: Oh God! So what do we do? Chandler: I don't know. Maybe we can open this up somehow. Joey: Okay. Chandler: No... It's all glued together. Joey: Does that mean we have to bust it open? Chandler: I don't know. Maybe. Joey: Oh my God! Chandler: I know! It's.. It's the foosball table. Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine." Chandler: Did that movie ever get made? Joey: It did not. [Scene: The airport. Ross and Phoebe run in.] Phoebe: Ross, where are you going? Ross: To talk to Rachel, isn't that why we took a ride in the death-cab? Phoebe: What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before? Ross: Not since my cop-show got cancelled. Phoebe: You have to get a ticket to get past security. Ross: What? We're never gonna make it! Phoebe: Not with that attitude! Now, haul ass! (They run to the ticket counter, but they get stuck behind a group of old people who are walking very slowly.) Ross: Okay, if you could all walk slower, that'd be great. [Scene: The gate. Rachel walks up to the man at the gate and gives him her passport.] Gate attendant #1: (with a French accent) Madame, your passport please? Rachel: Oh my God! I was so afraid I wasn't gonna remember any of my high-school French, but I understood every word you just said! Gate attendant #1: Your boarding pass, please. Rachel: Oh. (She starts looking through her purse, but she can't find it.) Rachel: Oh, sht. I had it. Oh, I can't believe this. Gate attendant #1: Madame, if you don't have your boarding pass... Rachel: I have it, I have it, I have it. Oh, okay, I can't find it, but I remember that I was in seat 32C, because that's my bra-size. Gate attendant #1: Madame, you must have your boarding pass.. Rachel: Okay, fine! But you know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem. [Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe come running.] Ross: Hey, I need a ticket. Phoebe: Just one? I drive you all the way down here, and I don't get to see how it works out? Ross: Fine, two tickets, I need two tickets. Phoebe: We're on our honeymoon. Ticket agent: And the destination? Ross: I don't care. Whatever is the cheapest. Phoebe: I'm so lucky I married you. [Scene: The gate. Rachel is still searching for her boarding pass.] Rachel: Oh! sht! Damn it! Where is it? Oh! Oh! I found it! I found it! (She runs up to the gate and the gate attendant standing there.) Rachel: Hah! I found it! I told you I would find it! In your face! You're a different person. [Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.] Ross: Okay, flight 421 to Paris. I don't see it, do you see it? Phoebe: No, did we miss it? Ross: No, no, no. That's impossible. It doesn't leave for another 20 minutes. Phoebe: Maybe we have the flight-number wrong. God. (Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.) Monica: Hello. Phoebe: Hey, it's me. Here's Ross. Ross: What? Hey, hey, listen.. (Monica is standing by the crib, and she's looking at her babies.) Monica: Oh my God! Ross, you wouldn't believe the cute little noises the twins are making. Listen. (She holds the phone down to the twins.) Ross: Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..? Monica: Oh, I'm sorry. sh*t, they were doing it before. Ross: That's alright. Listen, listen. Monica: Oh, wait, wait, wait! Here they go again. (She holds down the phone to the twins again.) Ross: Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..? Monica: Isn't that cute? Ross: That is precious! Listen! I need Rachel's flight information. Monica: Oh, okay. Alright, it's flight 421. Leaves at 8:40. Ross: Yes, that's what I have. It's not on the board. Monica: That's what it says here. Flight 421, leaves at 8:40, Newark airport. Ross: What? Monica: Newark airport. Why, where are you? Ross: JFK. (Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.) [Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Chandler are still trying to get the birds out of the foosball-table.] Joey: (yelling) Don't worry, you guys, we're gonna get you out of there. Chandler: And we're also gonna buy you tiny, bird hearing-aids. (Joey picks up a hammer and a crowbar and gets ready to destroy the table.) Joey: Okay. Here goes. Chandler: What's the matter? Joey: I need to say goodbye to the table first. Chandler: I understand. Joey: Okay. Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys. What can I say? You guys make us look good. You wanna say anything? Chandler: I don't know. Except that, for one last time... (he touches the players as he says the following) Good game, good game, good game, good game, good game, good game, good game. Joey: Okay, here we go. I can't do it. Chandler: Well, I can't do it either. (Monica enters.) Monica: Hey! Did you find them? Joey: Yeah, they're stuck inside the table! Chandler: We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it! Monica: Oh, well sure. This gotta be so hard. I'll do it. Gimme! (Monica grabs the hammer and the crowbar and gets ready to bust it open.) [Scene: Phoebe's cab. She's driving faster than ever before.] Ross: Phoebe! Wow! No, no, no! (Phoebe screams.) Phoebe: Well, I've never gone this fast before. Ross: Phoebe, forget it, okay? Newark is - is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time. Phoebe: She's got her cell, you could call her. Ross: I am not doing this over the phone. Phoebe: You don't have any other choice! (She lets go of the steering wheel to get her cell-phone from her purse. Ross screams and reaches over in order to hold onto the wheel. Cut to the plane. Rachel is sitting in her seat when her cell-phone rings.) Rachel: Hello? Phoebe: Rachel? Oh, good. Hey, by the way, did you just get on the plane? Rachel: Yeah. Phoebe: (To Ross) For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport. Ross: Yay. Phoebe: Uh, Rach, hang on. (Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.") Rachel: Phoebe? Is everything okay? Phoebe: Uhm, actually no. No, you've... You have to get off the plane. Rachel: What? Why? Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange. Rachel: Oh, honey, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the plane. (The passenger in the seat next to Rachel looks at her and seems a little nervous.) Rachel: Alright, look, I have to go. I love you, and I will call you the minute I get to Paris. (Rachel hangs up.) Passenger #1: Uhm, what was that? Rachel: Oh, that was just my crazy friend. She told me I should get off the plane, because she had a feeling that there was something wrong with the left Philange. Passenger #1: Okay, that doesn't sound good. Rachel: I wouldn't worry about it. She's always coming up with stuff like this, and you know what? She's almost never right. Passenger #1: But she is sometimes. Rachel: Well... (The passenger stands up and gets his suitcase from the overhead compartment.) Rachel: Wait, what are you doing? Passenger #1: Well, I can't take this plane now. Air stewardess: Excuse me, sir, where are you going? Passenger #1: I have to get off this plane, okay? Her friend has a feeling something's wrong with the left Philange. Rachel: Could I get some peanuts? Passenger #2: What's wrong with the plane? Air stewardess: There's nothing wrong with the plane. Passenger #1: Yeah! The left Philange! Air stewardess: There is no Philange! Passenger #1: Oh my God. This plane doesn't even have a Philange! Passenger #2: I'm not flying on it! Air stewardess: Ma'am, please sit down! Passenger #3: What's going on? Passenger #1: We're all getting off. There is no Philange! (Everybody walks out of the plane.) Rachel: This is ridiculous! I... (She notices that everybody is leaving.) Rachel: Yeah, okay. (Rachel leaves as well.) [Scene: Joey's apartment. Monica has completely destroyed the foosball-table, and Chandler and Joey are holding the birds.] Monica: Alright. My job here is done. Chandler: That was... Impressive. Joey: Yeah, you didn't even use the tools for most of it! Monica: Yeah, they were just slowing me down. Alright, I have to get back to the babies. I'll see you girls later. (Monica leaves.) Chandler: Sorry about the table, man. Joey: Yeah. Chandler: You gonna buy a new one? Joey: Probably not. Nah. I don't know how much I'm gonna wanna play after you go. Chandler: Well, at least we got these little guys out. Joey: Yeah. Chandler: Aww, we were worried about you! Hm. I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh? Joey: I'm gonna miss these little guys. It was nice having birds around again. Chandler: Hey, you know what? Maybe we should keep them here with you. Joey: What? Chandler: Yeah, I mean we've got a lot going on right now. And, plus, here they'd have their own room. Joey: I could get a goose! Chandler: You know, I - I think you're set with the poultry. Joey: Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit. Chandler: I think there may be another reason. So, awkward hug or lame cool guy handshake? Joey: Uh, lame cool guy handshake, yeah. (They do the lame cool guy handshake. They look at each other, and then they hug.) [Scene: The gate at the airport. The passengers are standing in line, and they're about to board the plane again.] Gate attendant #2: Ma'am, I assure you, the plane is fine. Passenger #2: And you fixed the Philange? Gate attendant #2: Yes, the Philange is fixed. As a matter of fact, we put a whole lot of extra Philanges onboard, just in case. (Rachel walks up to the gate. Cut to Ross and Phoebe who come running up to the gate.) Ross: Where is she? Phoebe: I don't see her. Ross: Rachel! Rachel Green! Phoebe: There she is! Ross: Rachel! Rachel! Gate attendant #2: Wow, excuse me, sir, do you have a boarding pass? Ross: No, no, I just have to talk to someone. Gate attendant #2: I'm sorry, you cannot go any further without a boarding pass. Ross: No, no, no, but... Phoebe: (screaming) RACHEL!! (Rachel comes back to the gate.) Rachel: Oh my God... What.. What are you guys doing here? Phoebe: Okay, you're on. Rachel: What? What? Ross, you're scaring me. What's going on? Ross: Okay, the thing is.. Rachel: Yeah? Ross: Don't go. Rachel: What? Ross: Please, please stay with me. I am so in love with you. Please, don't go. Rachel: Oh my God. Ross: I know, I know. I shouldn't have waited 'till now to say it, but I'm.. That was stupid, okay? I'm sorry, but I'm telling you now. I love you. Do not get on this plane. Gate attendant #2: Miss? Are you boarding the plane? Ross: Hey, hey. I know you love me. I know you do. Gate attendant #2: Miss? Rachel: I - I have to get on the plane. Ross: No, you don't. Rachel: Yes, I do. Ross: No, you don't. Rachel: They're waiting for me, Ross. I can't do this right now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Ross: Rachel? Rachel: I'm so sorry. (She boards the plane.) Ross: I really thought she'd stay. Phoebe: I'm sorry. (Phoebe hugs Ross.) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey, Chandler, Monica and the twins are there. Everything has been put into boxes.] Monica: Well, that's it. Everything's packed. Chandler: Wow, this is weird. Monica: I know. Joey: Yeah. Uh, does this mean there's nothing to eat? Monica: I put three lasagnas in your freezer. Joey: I love you! (He hugs her. Phoebe enters.) Joey: Hey! Phoebe: Hey. Joey: So did you guys make it in time? Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, he talked to her, but she got on the plane anyway. Chandler: Where's Ross? Phoebe: He went home. He didn't want to see anybody. [Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross enters and checks his messages.] Rachel: (on the answering machine) Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane. Ross: Oh my God! Rachel: (on the answering machine) Excuse me? Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) Miss? Please, sit down! Rachel: (on the answering machine) I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I need to get off the plane, okay? I need to tell someone that I love love them. Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) Miss, I can't let you off the plane. Ross: Let her off the plane! Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat. Rachel: (on the answering machine) Oh, please, miss, you don't understand! Ross: Try to understand! Rachel: (on the answering machine) Oh, come on, miss, isn't there any way that you can just let me off... (The message is finished. Ross jumps over to the answering machine.) Ross: No! No! Oh my God. Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane? Rachel: I got off the plane. Ross: You got off the plane. (He walks over and kisses her.) Rachel: I do love you. Ross: I love you too, and I'm never letting you go again. Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again. Ross: Me neither, okay? We are - we're done being stupid. Rachel: Okay. You and me, alright? This is it. Ross: This is it. Unless we're on a break. (Rachel gives him a look.) Ross: Don't make jokes now. (They kiss again.) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.] Monica: Okay, please be careful with that. It was my grandmother's. Be careful. (Two other men are rolling the big white dog out of the apartment.) Monica: If that falls off the truck, it wouldn't be the worst thing. (She slips them some money.) Ross: Wow. Rachel: I know. It seems smaller somehow. Joey: Has it always been purple? Chandler: (to his children) Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal! (Monica and Chandler put Jack and Erica in their stroller.) Phoebe: Hey, do you realise that at one time or another we all lived in this apartment? Monica: Oh, yeah, that's true. Ross: Uh, I haven't. Monica: Wait a minute. What about that summer during college that you lived with grandma, and you tried to make it as a dancer? Ross: Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up? Monica: Oh, honey, I forgot. I promised Treeger that we'd leave our keys. Chandler: Oh, okay. (Chandler and Monica walk over to the kitchen-counter and leave their keys. Then the other four pick out their keys and leave them as well.) Phoebe: So, I guess this is it. Joey: Yeah. I guess so. Monica: (crying) This is harder than I thought it would be. Chandler: Oh, it's gonna be okay. (Chandler hugs her. Monica hugs Ross and Rachel as Chandler gets the stroller with the twins.) Rachel: (crying) Do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time? Monica: We got some time. Rachel: Okay, should we get some coffee? Chandler: Sure. Where? (They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final sht is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.) THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "FRIENDS", "episode": "10x17 - 10x18 - The Last One (Finale)"}	foreverdreaming
Clifftop. An older German couple, Thomas and Elsie Kramer, are having a picnic. Thomas: Don't move. Elsie: What? Thomas: Wait. He brings out a camera. Elsie: Oh, don't. I look terrible. Thomas: You look... beautiful. As he takes several photographs of her, a ship can be seen in the background. Passing by on his bicycle, ARP Warden Eric Stephens pauses to watch them for a moment, then moves on. CAPTION: ENGLAND, MAY 1940 Kramer household. Thomas is listening to a young boy, William, play piano. Thomas: That's much better, William. That was very good. William: Thank you, Mr Kramer. Thomas: Now I want you to practice this section down to G for next week. And the scales, yes? William: Right. Later. Outside the house, Elsie is hanging washing. Eric Stephens passes by on his bike again and stops to watch her. She goes back in to join Thomas where he's playing the piano. Night. A group of men with torches approach the house. At a knock on the door, the Kramers both sit up in bed. Thomas gets up to answer it and a policeman shines a torch in his face. Policeman: Thomas Kramer? Thomas: Yes? Policeman: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to come with us. Thomas: What? Where? Elsie joins him at the door. Elsie: Thomas, what is it? Policeman: You're being interned as enemy aliens under the Defence Regulations and Aliens Order Act of 1920. Cell block. The Kramers are escorted in. Interrogator 1 (voiceover): You came to England in 1938. You have a B registration - restricted movement. Elsie is separated from her husband and taken off in a different direction. Elsie: Thomas! Thomas: Elsie! Interrogator 1 (voiceover): You have relatives in Germany. Intercut between the Kramers being questioned in separate interrogation rooms. Thomas: Yes. Interrogator 1: You're aware, Mr Kramer, that B registration forbids the possession and use of a camera? Elsie: It wasn't our camera. It belongs to my nephew. His name is Mark Andrews. He's in the army. He's stationed in Aldershot. Interrogator 2: Where did you get that information? Elsie: He told us. Thomas: I was not photographing a ship. I was photographing my wife. Interrogator 1: We have the film, Mr Kramer. There's definitely a ship. Thomas: I didn't see it. Interrogator 2: When do you put out your washing, Mrs Kramer? Clothes on a washing line. The first sighting made by an enemy aircraft approaching from the south. Are you making a signal? Interrogator 1: Can you explain this? Thomas: I sent this to my friend in Boston in America. How did you get it? Interrogator 1: What are those symbols? Thomas: They're chess symbols. I play chess. Elsie: I want to speak to my husband. Thomas: I am a professor of music. I am not a spy. I was sponsored in this country by the Society for the Protection of Science and Learning. And now I want to go home. Internment camp. A crowd of people are escorted out of a lorry and into a building by soldiers. Guard (offscreen): Head to the left. Turn to the right. The Kramers enter the building together. Guard (offscreen): Come on, then. Move along! Man: I didn't do anything. A soldier separates Elsie from Thomas. He tries to go after her and is restrained by guards. Thomas: Elsie! Elsie: Thomas! Guard (offscreen): This way, please. Thomas is forced to leave his wife behind and go on to the men's area. Elsie stumbles on a short way with the other women, then begins to gasp. She clutches her chest and collapses to the floor. OPENING CREDITS Foyle gets out of a taxi in front of an ornate building and pays the driver. Driver: Thank you, sir. Foyle enters the building and speaks to the man on the front desk before heading upstairs to the office of Assistant Commissioner R.F. Summers. Summers: The answer is no, Foyle, and this time it's final. This is, what, your fourth request? Foyle: I just feel that in the circumstances, I could be doing something a little more relevant to the wr effort. Summers: Yes, yes, very commendable. Foyle: Not even as if I'm doing my actual job any more. Pen-pushing, blackouts, traffic patrols - you don't need me for that. Summers: Look. I need you where you are, Foyle. You're a first-class police officer. Foyle: Crime rate has just about halved. Summers: That may be the case in Hastings, but per head of population, it's rising. Larceny, breaking and entering, civil offenses, and mrder. Has it crossed your mind that we're training half the country how to kll? Huh? What's the effect of that gonna be? Foyle: Warsaw, Prague - there are mrder every day. Summers: That doesn't concern you or me. Foyle: Even if there was a mrder to be investigated, I haven't got the men to cover it. Most of them have enlisted. My sergeant, for example, is somewhere in the North Sea. Summers: It's the same for all of us. Last month alone, we lost three chief constables - all enlisted men. Foyle: I'm wasting my time on the south coast. I want to be transferred. Summers: Request refused. He rubber-stamps a document. Foyle: Thank you for seeing me. He immediately gets up to leave. Summers: Sit down, Foyle. I haven't finished yet. So, what are you working on at the moment? Foyle: Something for the, er, Ministry of Labour. Summers: Well, the only item of relevance that's come out of this conversation, as far as I can see, is that there's a shortage of personnel. We need to find you a new sergeant. I'll make that a priority. Oh, and I understand you don't drive. I've never heard of a Chief Superintendent who can't drive, but still, I've managed to arrange a personal driver for you. Name of Stewart. Pulled out of the MTC. It's a bit unorthodox, I know, but it's the best we could do. Foyle: Thank you. Summers: That's all. And I don't want to see any more of these requests. You know, Foyle, if you weren't so damned obstinate, you'd see that I'm actually on your side. You do a good job. No telling where you might be once the wr's over. Foyle: It'll depend on who wins, I suppose. He leaves. Beaumont family estate. Mark Andrews approaches the front door and rings the bell. A maid lets him in. Cut to Andrews speaking with Henry Beaumont in the study. Andrews: He's my uncle, sir. His name is Thomas Kramer. He come to this country two years ago. He was the leader of the philharmonic orchestra in Vienna. Henry: Really? Andrews: He had to leave because he spoke out against what they're doing over there, you know - the Jewish musicians and Jewish composers forced out of work and all that. Henry: It's a very unfortunate situation, yes. Andrews: They've put him in a camp. It's not even a camp. It's a converted factory. They've put him in with out-and-out nzi, the very people he came to escape from. Henry: Andrews, I'm not quite certain what you think I can do for you. Andrews: Well, sir, seeing as how I worked for you, and you being the local magistrate, well... you must know people. Henry: No, I'm afraid not. There are proper authorities, you see, to deal with this sort of thing, and I have nothing to do with them. Your uncle and aunt have been categorised as enemy aliens, and that's how it has to be. On the other hand, I'm sure they'll be very well-treated. Andrews: My aunt is dad, sir. She was 63, and she had a heart attck. They let her die. Henry: I'm so sorry, but as I've already explained, there's nothing I can do. Andrews: Nothing? Henry: I'm afraid not. I'm sorry. Andrews: But your wife is German. Henry looks up sharply. Henry: What? Andrews: It's true, isn't it? Henry: My wife is from the Sudetenland, but that has got nothing to do with you. Andrews: And why wasn't she interned? Henry: I'll thank you to leave my wife out of this. How dare you come here and put these questions to me in this fashion? Andrews: I just want to get my uncle home. Henry: There's nothing I can do, and that's all there is to it. Now I think you'd better go. As Andrews leaves the house, he passes Greta Beaumont arranging flowers and gives her a hard stare. A car approaches the house, driving past Sarah Beaumont where she's out pruning flowers. As the horn honks she looks up and smiles, then stands up. The car stops in front of the house as Andrews is walking away. Sarah comes round the corner and greets Michael Turner as he gets out of the car. Sarah: Michael. Turner: Hello, darling. They share a kiss. Sarah: Mmm. Turner: Mmm. How's my gorgeous girl? Sarah: Oh, much better now you're here. How was the drive? Turner: Oh, long. But worth it. How are M and P? Sarah: Oh, pretty grisly. Have you checked into the Bell? Turner: No, not yet. I don't suppose there's any chance...? Sarah: You know what Daddy's like. Henry's study. He looks up as Greta enters. Greta: Who was that? Henry: What? Greta: The young soldier I saw just now. Henry: That was Mark Andrews. Underkeeper here, or used to be. Greta: He looked angry. Henry: Yes. I wasn't able to help him. Greta: Help him what? Henry: Oh, it doesn't matter. Did I hear someone arrive? Greta: Michael's here. Henry: Good. Then we can have lunch. The family at lunch in the dining room. Turner: Mmm. It's hell in London. Everyone's blaming everyone else about Norway. They say Churchill misjudged the whole thing. Henry: Oh, do they? Tell me, how long are you able to stay down here? Turner: They've given me a couple of days. Henry: Oh, good, good. Greta: Are you staying at the Bell? Turner: Yeah. Sarah: Does he really have to, Daddy? Henry: Oh, Sarah, don't start that again. Turner: I'm perfectly happy at the Bell. Really, I am. Greta: So... What have you been doing in London, Michael? In your free time? Turner: Well, I don't get a lot of free time, Greta. Greta: No? Sarah: Why are you always picking on him? Michael's working as hard as anybody. Greta: I wasn't picking on him. Sarah: Well, you're always insinuating something. Greta: Sarah! Sarah: At least someone in this house is doing something for the wr effort. Greta: What did I say? Did I say anything? Turner: It's all right. Henry: No. It's not all right. I won't have you talking to Greta like that. Sarah: Well, I just wish if she had something against Michael, she could come out and say it. Or is this about the money again? Henry: That's enough! Sarah: You always take her side. Henry: I'm not taking sides. I just expect a little civilised behaviour. When this is your house, you may do as you like, but until then... Oh, circulate the wine, will you? Foyle's office. Foyle is working at his typewriter. There's a knock at the door. Foyle: Come in. Sam Stewart enters in her MTC uniform. Sam: Chief Superintendent Foyle? Foyle: Yes. She steps up to the desk and salutes. Sam: I've been assigned to you as your new driver. Foyle looks taken aback. Foyle: Oh. Er, S- Stewart? Sam: Samantha Stewart, sir. You can call me Sam. They leave the office and walk through the police station. Sam: Erm, I, I was hoping to get into the WAAF, but I ended up in the MTC. Foyle: Ah. Sam: The Mechanised Transport Corps. I was assigned to the Ministry of Aircraft Production, but then they said they were looking for someone with a knowledge of the South Downs. Foyle: Hmm. I see. And, er, you, you have a knowledge of the, er, South Downs? Sam: Oh, yes. Yes. Um, I was born in Lyminster, just outside Arundel. My father is actually the vicar at St. Stephen's. Do you know it? Foyle: Er, no. No. Sam: No, I don't suppose there's any reason why you should. Anyway, it's not much fun being the vicar's daughter - on your best behavior all the time. Personally, I couldn't wait for the wr to come along. Chance to get out. Foyle signs out at the front desk. Foyle: It's, er... very unusual for, um, a ranking officer to be assigned a, a driver outside the force. Sam: Yes. Yes. That's what I said when they told me, but they said they couldn't get anyone else, so... Desk Sergeant: Thank you, sir. Sam: Here I am. Foyle: Right. Sam drives Foyle through Hastings. Sam: So what are you investigating? I hope it's something juicy - a spy ring or a nice grisly mrder. Foyle: I think we should get something straight right from the very beginning. You don't ask me what I'm doing. You don't ask me what I'm investigating. You simply take me to where I want to go. Is that understood? Sam: Whatever you say. Foyle: Good. They arrive at some dilapidated wooden buildings close to the seafront. Foyle: If you just wait here. Thank you. Sam: How long will you be? Are you meeting someone? Foyle: Excuse me. Did you not understand what I've just been, er... Sam: What? Foyle: Never mind. Just, er, wait here, will you? He gets out of the car and walks around behind the buildings, where Bob Keegan is waiting. Keegan: Mr Foyle? Foyle: That's right. Keegan: Do you have the money? Foyle: £150. Keegan: You know, I should have thought you were a bit old to worry about being called up. Foyle: Well, it's not me. It's my son. Keegan: Ah. Foyle: He's, er, 23. I don't want him to go. Keegan: He doesn't have to. Foyle: Good. Er, so... how does it work? Keegan: You give me his particulars, and his call-up papers get mislaid. After that, he doesn't exist. There's no comeback. That's the way the system works. Foyle: I see. And, um, I understand you're a civil servant? Keegan: Perhaps I am. Foyle: And I, er, I don't know your name. Keegan: Why do you want to know? Foyle: Well, £150 is a lot of money. Um, how do I know I'm ever gonna see you again? Keegan: My name's Keegan. You can check me out at the Brighton office, all right? Foyle: Yeah. Well, um, my name's Foyle, Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle, and I'm placing you under arrest for, uh- Keegan: Hell! Keegan shoves at Foyle and runs. Foyle chases after him, some distance behind. Keegan: Aah! Keegan is struck in the face and falls backwards. Foyle arrives to see Sam standing over him with a metal dustbin lid. She drops it to the ground next to Keegan. Foyle: Sam? Sam: Yes, sir. Foyle adjusts his tie. Foyle: Thank you. Sam smiles to herself a little. Foyle house. Piano music is playing inside as a taxi arrives and Andrew gets out and goes to unlock the door. Inside, Foyle is working on making a fishing fly with the aid of a magnifying lens. He's too focused to notice Andrew's arrival. Andrew: A black gnat. Foyle looks up, surprised, and Andrew raises his eyebrows. Foyle: Not even close. It's a classic iron blue. It was a complete waste of time teaching you any of this, wasn't it, really? Andrew: How are you, Dad? Kitchen. Andrew opens the larder to have a look inside. Andrew: Ah. There's bugger all in the larder. Foyle: Well, there was bugger all indication, Andrew, that you were coming home. How long are you gonna be here? Andrew: A couple of days. Eurgh! When did you get this? He picks up a loaf of bread to inspect. Foyle: Andrew, don't- look. We can eat out if you want. Andrew: No. I've been stuck on buses and trains all day. It's good to be home. Foyle: Good. Later. The two of them are sitting down to dinner. Foyle: And how's Oxford? Andrew: Mmm. It's not the same. The town's crawling with refugees, evacuees, and all the rest of it. And the colleges are empty. They're dumping a maternity hospital in Ruskin. Now, that's something to look forward to - lots of pretty nurses. At least... it would be if I was still there. Foyle: You've left? You're not going back? Andrew: I've had my orders. Foyle: Ah. Andrew: You know I've been flying weekends with the volunteer reserve. Pretty old crates, but... it's been fun. Well, now it's the real thing. Foyle: I see. Right. Andrew: I should have told you. I was going to write. Then I was going to call. In the end, I came down to tell you myself. Foyle: And where are you gonna be based? Andrew: I'm not allowed to tell you. Foyle gives him a look. Andrew: It's a drome just outside some godawful place you never heard of up in Russia. Foyle: Scotland. Andrew: Three months' training. Then I suppose I'll be flying ops. I'm sorry, Dad. Foyle: No, no. I, er... you shouldn't be. I'm proud of you, I really am, but, um... So when do you have to leave? Andrew: Saturday. There's a two o'clock train. Foyle: Oh, that's all right, then. Then we can, er, go down to the river, then, eh? He gets up to start clearing the table. Andrew: Ha. You and the iron blue? Foyle: Absolutely. Andrew: I'd like that. Foyle: Well, you're a bloody liar, but you'll come anyway. Foyle picks up a tray and starts to head back to the kitchen. Andrew: Dad. Foyle: Yeah? Andrew: Good to see you. Foyle smiles a little and looks down. Foyle: Mmm. Police interview room. Foyle walks in and sits down across from Keegan. Foyle: Right. I want a complete list of everyone you had dealings with, all the papers you managed to mislay, and since you obviously weren't working alone, a list of all the people who were working with you. Keegan remains silent, head turned away. Foyle: Well, I take it you weren't advertising in the local Gazette. So, er, how did you find your clients, Mr Keegan? (pause) Well, how did people find out about you and about what you could do for anyone who didn't want to be called up? Keegan still remains silent, breathing heavily. Foyle: Right, you don't want to say anything? That's absolutely fine. Now I just hand your file over to the military police. They can deal with you. Treason in a time of wr. They'll hang you. He goes to leave the room. Keegan: There's a man called Judd. Ian Judd. The Bell pub. Michael Turner's car pulls up outside. Cut to Judd behind the bar inside. Man on radio: I have had German friends in the past, and I hope that I may live to have a German friend or two again one day. Mark Andrews is sitting at the bar alongside Ray Pritchard. Barmaid Tracey Stephens brings some glasses back to the bar, and Judd hands her a sandwich on a plate. Judd: Over there, Tracey. Tracey: Right, Mr Judd. Radio: And I hate to have to say it, but say it I will. Be careful at this moment how you put complete trust in any person of German or Austrian connections. If you should know any people of this kind who are still at large... Andrews: Oh, turn it off! Radio: Keep your eye on them. Andrews: They don't know what they're talking about, the bastards. They don't know a bloody thing! Tracey: Language. Judd: They've got it right, if you ask me. We don't want that lot over here. Andrews: What? Judd: Germans. Fifth column - that's what they call them. Ray: That's just what happened in Norway, innit? Judd: That's right. They sit here all nice and quiet, pretending to be our friends, but when their real mates march in... Andrews: So if a German walked in here, you wouldn't serve them? Tracey: I'd show them the door. Andrews: And what if it was Mrs Beaumont... From the manor? Tracey: She's different. Andrews: Well, she's German. Judd: What point you trying to make? Andrews: She's German, but no one complains about her. If she come in here, you'd serve her a drink and kowtow like the rest of them. But for all you know, she could be signalling her friends in Berlin right now. Ray: She's Mr Beaumont's wife. Andrews: She's still a bloody German! I'll have another one. Tracey: I think you've had enough. Judd: Go on. Better get home. Andrews gets up. Andrews: You wait and see. When the bmb start falling, we'll see who the real enemy is. He leaves the pub. Tracey: Don't forget I've got to go home early today, Mr Judd. Judd: Do the blackout first. I don't want your dad giving us a fight. Michael Turner walks in and Judd goes over to meet him. Judd: Nice to see you again, Mr Turner. Room for the night, is it? Turner: Two nights. Judd: Same room as usual? Turner: Any room will do. Judd: That's, er, seven shillings a night. Plus you owe me for a couple of weeks. Turner hands him the money. Turner: You know, Judd, one day you're gonna push me too far. Judd: Oh, just rendering a service, Mr Turner. Turner: Thank you. Outside, Tracey starts wheeling her bike away from the pub. Ray intercepts her. Ray: Terry. Tracey: Ray! Ray: Um... Can I- can I walk you home? Tracey: Yeah. If you want. All right. They start walking together. Ray: I'm thinking about joining up. Tracey: Are you? Ray: Mmm. Dad doesn't want me to. He says he needs me in the shop. Tracey: You'll get called up anyway. Ray: Ah. I want to join now. Look. Would you miss me? You know, if I went? Tracey: Course I would. What sort of question is that? Ray: Terry, would you miss me? Tracey: You know I would. Ray: Ha ha ha! I'd miss you. Tracey: Ray, what you going on about? Ray: You know how I feel about you. Tracey: Oh. I've got to go. Ray: No. Wait. He's about to kiss here when Eric Stephens interrupts. Stephens: What's going on here? Tracey: It's all right, dad. It's only Ray. Stephens: What about my tea, then? Tracey: All right. I'll see you tomorrow, then. Ray: Right. Stephens: Come on. Ray smiles after her before turning to walk away. Beaumont estate. A groom helps Greta climb onto a horse in front of the house while Henry watches. Greta: I'll be back in one hour. Henry: You be careful. Greta giggles. Greta: Tell that to the horse. As Greta rides away, a car is pulling up. Greta: Good morning, doctor. Henry waits to meet Doctor Groves as he gets out of the car. Henry: Groves? Groves: Do you think that's wise? Henry: What? Groves: Her riding round the country like that. She's supposed to be ill. Henry: I think Greta can look after herself. Groves: That wasn't what you said to me once, and it wasn't just me. I wasn't the only one to stick my neck out. Greta rides her horse through the countryside. Mark Andrews stops behind a fallen tree to watch, then moves to follow. The Bell pub. Sam and Foyle arrive in the car and park in front. Sam: Er, may I come in? Foyle looks incredulous. Sam: I need to... powder my nose. She gets out of the car. Foyle enters the pub and approaches the bar. Foyle: Afternoon. Mr Judd? Judd: Who wants to know? Foyle: The name's Foyle. I'm a police officer. Judd: Oh, yeah? Foyle: I wouldn't mind a word if you've got a minute. Judd: Hold on. Tracey, we're out of the mild. Tracey: Yes, Mr Judd. She goes off to the pub's back room. Foyle: I understand you know a man called Robert Keegan? Judd: Bob. Yeah, met him once or twice. What about him? Foyle: Er, you're in business together? Judd: No. He drinks here. I've pulled him a pint. That's the only business we've ever had. Foyle: Oh. That's not quite what he says. An air-raid siren sounds and everybody in the pub looks up. Sam comes rushing up to the bar. Sam: Sir! It's got to be a false alarm. Hasn't it? Outside in the village people stop to look up, including Eric Stephens riding along on his bike. Ray emerges from the shop to look. A plane is visible in the sky. Stephens: German! Get under cover! Can't you hear? People start to scream. Ray: Come on. He beckons a man into the shop. Overhead, the plane is seen to drop a bmb. Man (offscreen): There's a bmb! Ray retreats into the shop. Inside the pub, the sound of the falling bmb can be heard. Foyle: Get down! He starts to duck down himself and grabs Sam to pull her with him. The bmb hits the roof on one side of the Bell the explsin engulfing a car outside and blasting debris through the pub. Inside, Foyle and Sam lay sprawled face-down in the dust. Foyle pushes himself up. Foyle: Ohh. Oh, God. He surveys the wrecked interior where several people lie unmoving in the dust. Foyle: Ohh. Argh. Ah. Later. Firemen rush about to contain the ongoing blaze outside and help people out of the pub. There are indistinct shouts in the background. Inside. Tracey Stephens lies dad on a stretcher on the pub floor. Foyle covers her face. Foyle: Poor girl. All right. She's carried away on the stretcher. Behind the bar, Judd knocks back a gulp of a drink. Doctor Groves, tending to one of the people on the ground, watches Tracey being carried out. Judd: I hope you're pleased with yourself. If you hadn't come here asking bloody questions, I wouldn't have needed to send Tracey outside. Foyle: Can I take that? Thank you. Foyle takes the glass from him without waiting for permission and hands it to an old woman. Foyle: Here we are, look. Have a sip of that. The woman nods. Sam is kneeling beside her, having bandaged up her leg. Sam: It's all right. It's not broken. This will just stop the bleeding. Foyle: That's a very good job. Sam: They taught us basic first aid in the MTC. My instructor always said he'd rather bleed to death than be bandaged by me. Foyle: Oh. He smiles. Sam: Was it a raid? Foyle: No, a single plane, evidently, maybe lost on its way home. Ray rushes into the pub. Ray: Where is she? Judd: Ray! Ray, you can't come in here. Not now. Judd hurries to intercept him and tries to steer him back out. Ray struggles against him. Ray: Where is she? Judd: Not now. Ray: I want to see her! Where is she? Groves: Stop it. Ray, stop it! Stop it. Ray, she's not here. I'm afraid she's dad. Ray: What? Groves: She was klled by the bmb. Ray: Terry? Judd: Sorry, Ray. Ray: Oh, don't you give me that. She shouldn't even have been here, and you knew! You bloody knew that! He grabs hold of Judd. Judd: Ray! Ray: The loss is on you, Mr Judd. I know all about you, and I told her. I told her. Foyle moves to break them up. Foyle: All right. That's enough. That's enough. It's okay. Ray: She's my best girl. Foyle: Yeah. We're very sorry. Where do you live? Ray: In the village. Foyle: Well, I think you should be at home. Take him home, Sam. I think that's the best place for you right now. Sam: Come on. Stephens household. People have gathered around Eric Stephens where he sits at the table. Stephens: I don't understand it. I just don't understand it. If they're gonna drop a bmb, I mean, why here? And my Tracey... Ray: I'm sorry, Mr Stephens. I'm so sorry. They said it was just one plane - just one plane. Stephens: Those Germans. Those bloody, bloody Germans. Ray: I hate them, too. Stephens: If I could get my hands on them, if I could get my hands on just one of them... Greta Beaumont walks through the village with a shopping basket over her arm. The people in the street all give her dirty looks. Internment camp. Mark Andrews is let in to see Thomas. Andrews: I went to see Beaumont. Henry Beaumont. I used to work for him and I thought he would help. Thomas: Why would he help? Andrews: His wife is German. Thomas: I haven't seen her here. Andrews: She wasn't interned. Thomas: They've interned everyone between the ages of sixteen and 60 living within a five-mile radius of the coast. Is she... 61? Andrews: I don't think so. Thomas: Elsie was 63. Andrews: I shouldn't have left my camera. Thomas: We weren't allowed to have a camera. He chuckles bitterly. Andrews: I'm sorry. Thomas: They say that I can petition the appeals tribunal and they may release me, but they also say there's a long waiting list, five or six months. Andrews: They're bastards! It makes me wonder which side I'm fighting for. Thomas: Mark, Mark, Mark! You're fighting for the right side. All this - it's because of the wr. It's not their fault. Andrews: And Elsie? Thomas: It happened. And worse things will happen. This is only the very start. Andrews: Are you gonna be all right? Thomas: They're treating me well. The food is good. We have a chess club, our own newspaper. You have no idea how many intellectuals they have locked up here. Poets, writers, artists. Andrews: And nzi. Thomas: And those, too. Andrews: It's still not right. Well, you've done nothing wrong. You shouldn't be here. Thomas: Mark, there's nothing you can do. Andrews: We'll see about that. Foyle household. Foyle joins Andrew in the front room with a bottle of alcohol. Foyle: I wouldn't be doing this for just anybody, you know? Andrew: What is it? Foyle: Glenlivet. The last bottle. I mean, you can still get it in shops, but it's very expensive now. Andrew: What will you do, Dad? Foyle: What will I do? Andrew: Well, I was just thinking about you on your own in this place. It's a pretty big house to be rattling around in. Foyle: No, I'll be all right. I mean, the way things are, they'll probably send me a family. They can have your room. Andrew: Yeah, but I'll be home on leave. Foyle: Well, you can share. Andrew: Ha. Foyle: A pilot, eh? Your mum would be proud. Andrew: She'd have been worried sick. Foyle: And I won't be? Andrew: You're not serious. Foyle: Well, you're right. I don't see why I should worry about you. It was me that got bmb. Andrew: Hmm. Foyle: A reminder, I suppose, if I needed reminding, of how important this is, what you're doing. I mean, this wr, it- Andrew: Well, it'll be over by Christmas. Foyle: Well, maybe once they know you're in the air, htler'll run for cover. Andrew: Hmm. Foyle: Saturday? Still on for Saturday? Andrew: The river. Foyle: The river. Well, you complained about the larder. You can help me fill it. Beaumont house. The family are sitting down to dinner. A maid sets a plate in front of Henry. Henry: Thank you. Greta: Thank you, Natalie. The maid leaves the room. Greta: She has asked to leave. Henry: Oh, no. Why? Greta: She didn't say. She just doesn't want to work here anymore. Turner: She joining up? Greta: I don't think so. Henry: This is very good. What- what is it? Greta: Turbot. Henry: Rather exotic. Greta: Yes, but you try to get cod or haddock. There is nothing in the shops, and if there is, twelve ounces of sugar, four ounces of butter. Henry: You've done very well. Greta: I went into the village, but it was as if nobody wanted to serve me at all. Sarah: No. Well, they wouldn't, would they? There's an awkward moment of silence. Turner: Er, there's a rumour they're putting up petrol again another penny, ha'penny. Bad enough with beer and cigarettes. It looks like we're all gonna have to start tightening our belts. Greta: What did you mean by that, Sarah? Sarah: Nothing. Greta: Tell me. Sarah: Well, the village was bmb today, or didn't anyone tell you? Greta: They told me. Of course I know, but that has nothing to do for me. Sarah: "With" me. Nothing to do with me. Henry: Hold on, hold on. Greta: Why do you always have to fight with me, always? Sarah: Why do I fight with you? Well, Greta, haven't you noticed we all are? You're the enemy. Greta storms out and Henry stands up. Henry: You go and apologise. Damn you. Do it now. Greta is sitting on the sofa, sniffling, when Sarah comes in. Sarah: I'm sorry. Greta: You don't understand me. Why have you never understood me? Is it because I am not English? Sarah: No. Greta: Or because I married your father? I care for him, Sarah. I care for both of you. Sarah: Then why are you doing everything you can to spoil my happiness? Greta: I have done nothing. Sarah: What about Michael? Greta: Oh. Sarah: If you do have something against him, I just wish you'd tell me what it is. Greta: I... don't trust him. I don't think he's right for you. Sarah: You think he's after my money? Greta: Yes. Sarah: Well, perhaps that makes two of you. Greta scoffs. Sarah: In three weeks, the two of us are getting married, and that's an end of it. Greta: No, Sarah. That will not happen, I promise you. The door opens and Turner enters. Greta: I will not let you marry that man. Foyle house. Foyle is reading the Daily Herald in the kitchen. The doorbell rings and he goes to answer it, setting the newspaper down. There's an article on the pub bmb, and one titled OUR TRONDHEIM HERO RETURNS with a photo of Sergeant Paul Milner in military uniform. Foyle opens the door, revealing Sam outside. Foyle: Sam, come in. I'll get my coat. Sam steps into the hallway and admires a pair of landscape paintings on the wall while he fetches his coat. Foyle: Right. Sam: These are very good, sir. They yours? Foyle: No. My, er, my wife painted them. Ready? Sam: Present and correct. Where to? Foyle: The hospital. St Mary's Hospital. Foyle walks through the corridors with a doctor. Doctor: Paul Milner. He was corporal with the Terriers at Trondheim. Foyle: He was a detective sergeant when I knew him. Doctor: In peacetime, you mean? Foyle: Mm. How bad is he? Doctor: He more or less took a direct ht, lost the lower part of his left leg, and there were other complications. Foyle: I was hoping to talk to him. Doctor: I'm afraid that may not be possible. It's not just his physical injuries that are the problem. They enter the ward where Milner is lying asleep. Doctor: Corporal Milner. Corporal? The doctor goes to try and wake him. Foyle: No. Just, um... Just let me know when he's ready. They leave. Countryside. Greta Beaumont is out riding on her horse. She approaches a pair of trees where someone in gloves is in the process of tying a length of piano wire. She rides right into it and the wire cuts across her neck, knocking her from the horse. Beaumont estate. The riderless horse returns to the house, its back covered in blood. As a groom hurries to catch it, a woman scrubbing the front step sees the blood and begins to scream. Back in the woods, Greta lies bleeding, eyes staring up at the sky. Henry Beaumont's study. Henry: Foyle, Christopher Foyle. Yes, the name's familiar to me. Foyle: Well, we met once or twice in court. Henry: Oh, yes, of course. It's very good of you to take charge of this. Foyle: Well, you telephoned the Assistant Commissioner- Henry: Oh, Summers. Yes. He's an old friend. Foyle: And, er, he telephoned me. Henry: It's just an accident, I'm sure. It's got to be. And, and the blood, I mean, we don't know that it's hers. Foyle: Well, we, we are looking for her. Henry: Yes. Foyle: Mrs Beaumont is your second wife? Henry: Yes. My first wife Claire died in a motor accident twelve years ago. I met Greta on a tour of Czechoslovakia in, er, '38, just a couple of months before Munich. She was at Prague University working in the archives. Foyle: Yes. And, er, her, her maiden name? Henry: Why on Earth do you want to know? Foyle: Well, there are always forms, I'm afraid, to fill in. Henry: Oh. Greta Anna Hauptmann. Not the sort of name one wants to bandy about the British countryside just at the moment. Foyle: No. I was in the village the other day. I imagine feelings are running very high. Henry: Yes. That was very unfortunate. Of course, I heard about the girl who got klled, but that has nothing to do with Greta. Nobody in their right mind could possibly imagine... What, what I'm trying to say is that if anybody has a grudge against Greta, they, they simply don't know her. Greta never had any time for htler or the nzi. Foyle: And her classification? Henry: Why do you ask? Foyle: Well, same reason. Forms. Henry: She went before a tribunal in February. It was an extremely unpleasant experience for both of us. Not, of course, that there was anything to worry about. They quite rightly gave her C status, which means, as you're probably well aware, that she was not considered dangerous to anyone. They, practically speaking, left her alone. She was also, incidentally, classified as a refugee from nzi oppression, in case you have any doubts about her right to be in this country. Foyle: Well, even so, living as close to the coast as you do, I'm surprised she wasn't moved earlier this month. Henry: Moved? Foyle: Well, the Security Executive moved all non-interned enemy aliens from coastal areas, the only exemptions being for those under sixteen and over 60. Henry: Yes. I am aware of the home office directives, Foyle. My wife was exempted because she is ill. Foyle: Ah. Right. Henry: She has, er, severe angina, heart disease, you know. Foyle: Ah. Not the, um- not the wisest thing for her to be out riding then, I wouldn't have thought. Henry: No. Perhaps not, but she has an extremely strong will. She never listens to me or her doctor. Foyle: Mm-hmm. There's a knock on the door. Henry: Yes? A policeman enters, looking solemn. Policeman: Sir. Countryside. Foyle walks up to where a police constable is standing over Greta's body. Foyle: Who found her? Policeman: Constable Meadows, sir. Spewed his guts out. Foyle uncovers the body, then looks around. He sees a swastika has been carved into the tree the piano wire was strung from. Beaumont house. Foyle is standing in the front room and turns at the sound of a door opening behind him. Sarah Beaumont enters. Foyle: How is he? Sarah: Well, he's very shocked. He's lying down. I've asked Natalie to take up some tea for him. Foyle: And how are you? Sarah: I'm fine. And, of course, I'm very upset. God. I can't imagine why anyone would want to do such a terrible thing. Poor Greta. Foyle: Did you see her leave? Sarah: No. I went out quite early walking the dog, and I'm afraid I went quite the other way. I didn't go anywhere near Park Bottom. Foyle: And, um, how do you know where it happened? Sarah: Well, I assumed. I mean, Greta always rode the same bridle paths. She went over through the copse and down past the old barn. All I meant was that I didn't go that way. You don't think I had anything to do with it, do you? Foyle: Do you mind if I sit down? Sarah: Look. It's no secret that Greta and I didn't get on. Anyone will tell you that. Foyle: Oh. Why was that? Sarah: I didn't like her. And she didn't like me. Michael Turner bursts into the room. Turner: Sarah, is it true? Sarah: Michael, this is Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle. Turner: My God! Then it is. Natalie told me. It's unbelievable. Are you all right? Sarah: Yes, except that Mr Foyle here has as good as accused me of having had a hand in it, ha. Turner: That's absurd! Foyle: Well, I'm accusing no one of anything. I'm sorry. You're, um...? Sarah: This is Michael Turner. Michael used to be the family solicitor. He and I are engaged to be married. Foyle: Ah, and what do you do now? Turner: I joined OIC, Operational Intelligence Centre at the Admiralty. I'm in London. Foyle: Oh, and what sort of work is that? Turner: I'm sorry. It's classified. Foyle: Ah. Are you, er- you staying here? Turner: No. Mr Beaumont doesn't approve of my being under the same roof as Sarah before wedlock. Sarah: My father's a very old-fashioned man. Turner: I'm staying at the Bell, or what's left of it. I was there this morning. All morning, in case you're wondering. Foyle: On your own? Sarah: Oh, what do you need, Mr Foyle, a signed witness statement? Foyle: Well, your stepmother was klled in a particularly cruel way, Miss Beaumont. Her head was almost completely taken off by a piano wire which stretched across the route which somebody obviously knew she was going to take. Er, she was alive when she ht the ground, but then she bled to death, so forgive me if I don't treat this in quite the flippant sort of manner that you seem to want to. Were you on your own? Turner: I went out for a short stroll about nine o'clock. Nobody saw me. Then I went back to my room, and I did some work. Foyle: Um, did you and Mrs Beaumont get along? Turner: Not well. Sarah: That wasn't your fault. Turner: I don't know why, but she seemed to take against me from the moment that Sarah and I got engaged. Foyle: And how did you meet? Sarah: Funnily enough, Greta introduced us. Turner: Mrs Beaumont came to London. She was interested in the family trust. This house and quite a large sum of money are entrusted to Sarah until she marries. She didn't like that. Sarah: You see, it would have cut her out. Turner: She asked me to look into it, and that was when I met Sarah. It was love at first sight. Sarah: Look. This has got nothing to do with the trust. There was nothing Greta could do about it anyway. If you ask me, it's absolutely obvious, it's the bmb. I mean, it's someone from the village. It's got to be revenge. Turner: What about that chap who was here earlier? Er, from the village. I don't know his name. He was a soldier. Sarah: Oh. That was Mark Andrews. He used to be underkeeper on the estate before he enlisted. Sam drives Foyle along a country lane. They stop outside the Kramer house where Mark Andrews is chopping wood. Foyle: I'll be a couple of minutes. Sam: Can I come in? He gives her a look. Foyle: No. He gets out and approaches Andrews. Foyle: Mark Andrews? Andrews: Are you the police? Foyle: Yes. Andrews: This is about her, isn't it, the woman who was klled? Foyle: Yes. Andrews: You'd better come in. Cut to the two of them inside. Andrews: My uncle and aunt were living here in this house. Elsie wasn't even German. She was a nurse. She went to Wiesbaden back in 1918 helping out after the blockade, and now she's dad. And my uncle, they're gonna send him to the bloody Isle of Man, which I'd say is the next best thing. And do you know why? Foyle: They were interned. Andrews: One law for the rich and one for the poor. Nothing ever changes, does it? My people are jailed. Greta Beaumont just swans around horseriding and all the rest of it. C registration. Wonder how much that cost. Foyle: Well, she was seen by a tribunal like everyone else. Andrews: But Henry Beaumont was a magistrate, wasn't he? Not like everyone else. Friends in high places. Foyle: She was allowed to stay at the manor because she was very ill. Andrews: Says who? Foyle: Did you go to see him, er, to ask for his help? Andrews: Yeah. And he told me to sod off. "There's nothing I can do." So I left, and I didn't go back. Been here all day packing up. I've got to go back to Aldershot, to my unit. Foyle: Might not be possible. Andrews: Well, I don't think you can stop me. Now, if you don't mind, I've got to finish my work. Sam and Foyle are driving along another lane. Sam: Sir, can I ask you something? Do you think she was kll because of what happened in the village? You know, the bmb? The swastika, carved into the tree? Foyle: Well, that could have been done on purpose as a distraction, or indeed, someone could have come upon the body and done it afterwards. Sam: What a dreadful way to kll someone. Foyle: Yes. Piano wire across the road is something they teach the local defence volunteers if the Germans ever invde. They pull up outside the village shop. Sam: The girl who was klled, isn't her father in the ARP? Foyle: Yes, and according to the files, he's the same one, it seems, who first reported Elsie and Thomas Kramer to the authorities. Small world. Foyle gets out. Inside the shop Ray is at work. He approaches Foyle as he enters. Ray: Yes? Foyle: Afternoon. I'm a police officer. The name's Foyle. I was in the pub the other day when it was bmb. I'm very sorry about your friend. Ray: So what you gonna do, arrest the Luftwaffe? Foyle: Oh. Well, I'm not here about her. I'm, um, investigating the mrder of, um, Mrs Greta Beaumont. Ray: Yes? Foyle: I was, first of all, wondering if, um, you'd seen her this morning? Ray: No. No, I've been working here all day. I'm sorry. I can't help you. Foyle: And, er, also, there was something you said in the pub the other day to the landlord. Um, er, "I know all about you. I know what goes on here." Ray: Ian Judd. Foyle: What's all that about? Ray: Terry was seventeen, underage. She shouldn't have been working for him. I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. He's a crook. Everyone knows. And while you're at it, you ask him why he was getting all that money from that chap up at the manor. Foyle: Henry Beaumont? Ray: Er, no. Michael Turner. The la-di-da solicitor from London. I saw it with my own eyes, a great pile of cash. That was never bed and breakfast. Foyle: Hmm. Well, again, I'm very sorry about Terry. Ray: Why are you wasting your time on this investigation? Greta Beaumont was a German woman who got klled. One more dad German. Who gives a damn? Beaumont house. Henry drains a glass of alcohol where he's lying back on a sofa. Henry: Thank you. What's happened to the world? Eh? htler. If only we'd stood firm back in '38, this wr would never have happened. It's revealed that he's talking to Doctor Groves. Groves: Henry, I have to talk to you about her. About Greta. Henry: Who would do that to her? Who would do it? She never hurt anybody. She wasn't- Groves: Listen to me, Henry. I have a friend at county police HQ. He's a doctor. I was talking to him just now, and he told me that Foyle has ordered a full postmortem on Greta. Henry: Well, what do you want me to do? Groves: You know what you have to do. We cannot afford to have this man breathing down our necks. Henry? Henry: I don't know. I don't know. Just leave me alone. Outside the Bell. Michael Turner goes out to his car just as Foyle and Sam pull up outside. Turner: Good afternoon, Detective Chief Superintendent. Foyle: Good afternoon. You off back to London then? Turner: Yup. Got to get to it. Foyle: Well, not quite yet. Can I have a word? Turner: Certainly. Working on repairs outside, Judd watches the two of them head inside. Pub interior. Turner: All right. I'll tell you the truth, but I'd be grateful if it didn't go any further. I was seeing someone, here. A lady. I must have been out of my mind. I'm in love with Sarah, head over heels, madly in love. She's- she's beautiful. She's rich. She's perfect, but the thing is, Foyle, I'm a man like any other, and being banned from the house... Foyle: You brought her here? Turner: Mm. Eh, not her. That's the hell of it. It was the girl behind the bar. Tracey Stephens. Foyle: The, er, the girl who was klled? Turner: Yeah. Yeah. It was awful. But, yeah, she and I were... That was nothing serious. I gave her ten bob every now and again, and she seemed to like me, but- oh! I know this sounds bad, but Trace and me, we were happy with the arrangement. Foyle: And, er, how long had this been going on for? Turner: Oh, er, since the start of the year. February, March? It was just casual. It wasn't regular. Foyle: And Judd found out? Turner: Mm. Mm. Foyle: And he was blackmailing you? Turner: No. I wouldn't go as far as that. He didn't thrat to tell anyone, Sarah or Henry. Foyle: But, er, what were you paying him money for, then? Turner: Yeah. I, I'm just saying that, that it wasn't blackmail. Look. I paid him for a double room, all right? Double room, no questions asked. That's all I'm saying is, is that when he found out about Tracey, the price went up. Outside the pub, Foyle watches Turner drive away. Judd approaches him. Judd: Foyle. About Bob Keegan, I, er, just want to set the record straight. Foyle: No, no, no, no, er, tell me about Tracey Stephens. Judd: What you want to know? She was a nice girl. Very honest, reliable. Foyle: And underage? Judd: There's girls of sixteen or seventeen working in bars up and down this country. These days, you just turn a blind eye. Foyle: Michael Turner? Judd: Well. If she was earning a few extra bob, where's the harm in it? Of course, he should be ashamed of himself, but it's none of my business. Foyle: Well, I thought that's exactly what it was. Judd: I've done nothing wrong. Foyle: So how did you find out about them? Judd: Saw the two of them one evening. Must have been, ooh, start of March. He'd be hanging around outside the pub in his car, and that, well, sort of puzzled me, so I started to keep an eye out. And then one night about, oh, ten o'clock, I saw her get in with him. Our Tracey. She got in with him, in the back seat. Foyle's office. He sits contemplating. There's a knock. Foyle: Yes? Sam: It's, er, 6:30, sir. Do you mind if I go home? Foyle: No, no, no, no. Sam: You all right to get back? Foyle: Yes. I'll walk. Sam: Good night, sir. Foyle: Good night. Sam leaves, and Foyle picks up the phone to make a call. Foyle: Whitehall 2127. Richard, Christopher. Yeah, fine. Um, need a favour. Your files on enemy aliens. Do you have anything on a Greta Anna Hauptmann? Two ns. Yes, um, from the Sudetenland. No. Well, I'd do the same for you. Yeah. Thank you. He hangs up the phone and inserts a fresh sheet of paper into his typewriter, starting to type out 'Greta Anna Hauptmann.' St Mary's Hospital. A nurse adjusts Milner's pillow for him. Nurse: There you are. Comfortable? Milner: I think. She moves on and Foyle approaches, clearing his throat. Foyle: Sergeant Milner. Milner: Detective Superintendent Foyle. You asked me to work with you once. Foyle: Yeah. Milner: I said no. Foyle: Yes. How are you? Milner: Been better. It still itches. My leg. I get this itching in my foot, and I reach down to scratch it, and, of course, it's not there. Foyle: You've been through a lot. I'm sorry. Milner: You've no idea. 13,000 of us. Just 2,000 of them. We thought it was gonna be a pushover. Then they started the bmb. We weren't trained. We had no supplies. The only support we were getting - biplanes. Gloster Gladiator fighters. Old bangers that looked like they'd been left over from the Great wr. The last thing I remember... Well, I don't remember much any more. Foyle: Well, the doctors seem to think you're doing very well. Milner: They're getting me a prosthetic. It's like getting measured for a suit. Savile Row. Foyle: Well, I'm here to... ask you again if you'd work for me. Milner: Me? Foyle: I need an assistant. Milner: I'm sorry, sir. I'm not quite myself any more. I don't think I'd be of much good to you. Foyle: Well, I think I should be the judge of that. Unless, of course, you've got other plans. I mean, if you intend to spend the rest of the wr in bed weaving raffia baskets, it's- Milner: I haven't thought about the rest of the wr. Foyle: I think you should. I want you to take a look at this. He hands over a file. Milner: What is it? Foyle: Case notes for something I'm working on. I'd appreciate another point of view. A wealthy woman, mrder, and those are photographs of the scene of the crime. Milner: A swastika. Foyle: Yes. She was German. Er, the village she lived in was bmb. Um, it may, of course, just be revenge, but I'm not so sure. There are many other reasons, family, marriage, money, and, er, these. I've typed up the interviews so far. I'd like you to look at them and let me know what you think. Milner: You typed these yourself? Foyle: Well, as I said, I'm short-staffed. Milner: Well, I've nothing else to do. Foyle: Good. Outside the Bell pub, night. Judd leaves and starts walking along the road. A car engine starts up and the headlights appear. Judd sees it coming up behind him and begins to run. He's struck from behind and falls to the ground. As he lies groaning, the car stops and footsteps approach him. The river. Foyle casts a fishing line while Andrew stands in the water nearby with a net. Andrew: You know, never did quite work out the attraction of spending half the day, ankle-deep in mud, in pursuit of a fish too stupid to even come near us. Foyle: Andrew, just never underestimate the intelligence of a trout, and they can hear you from 40 feet away, so do be quiet. Andrew: They must have heard me coming because I've been here two hours and haven't seen a thing. Something tugs on the line. Foyle: Oh! Andrew: Oh, at last. Foyle: Whoa. What did I tell you? See? What have we got here? Whoa! Here we go. He reels his catch in and Andrew scoops it up in the net. Foyle: Got that? Andrew: What is it, Dad? A starter? Foyle: You're very difficult to please, Andrew. It's a main course. It's perfect. He takes hold of the fish, but it wriggles out of his hand and falls back into the net. Foyle: Where did it go? They both laugh. Foyle house. A taxi waits outside. Andrew walks into the front room and Foyle turns to look at him. Foyle: Oh, right. Erm, got everything? Andrew: Yes. I think so. Foyle: Good. Well, then, you'd better not keep the taxi waiting. Andrew: I'll write. Foyle: Well, you said that when you went off to Oxford. Andrew: This time, I mean it. Foyle hands him a wad of notes. Foyle: Look. Bit of spending money. Andrew: Dad. Foyle: No. A round in the officer's mess. Andrew: I'll miss you. Foyle: Yeah. Look after yourself. Andrew gets in the taxi and waves to Foyle on the doorstep as it drives away. Foyle is just about to go inside as Sam comes driving up. Sam: Sir. There's been another mrder. The village. Sam and Foyle are standing over Judd's covered body. Foyle crouches down to pull back the blanket. Sam: It's Judd. How was he klled? Foyle: He's been ht by something. A rock, a car? He covers the body back up and they walk towards the pub. Sam: He lived over the pub. He had rooms. These are his keys. She holds out a set of keys. Foyle: Where'd you get those? Sam: Out of his pocket. Foyle: Oh, well done. He takes the keys from her. Judd's rooms. Sam looks around while Foyle searches the place. Sam: He didn't have much of a life, by the look of it- no wife, no children, no photographs. What are we looking for? Foyle: We're looking for the reason he was klled. Sam: Well, he was blackmailing Michael Turner. Foyle: Well, no. I mean, blackmailers get kll when the people they're blackmailing either can't or won't pay, but Turner was happy to pay, so he says. Maybe it was a business arrangement. Sam: Well, maybe he was lying. Foyle: Well, maybe he was. Maybe he hated Judd. The point is, we knew all about this affair with Tracey Stephens. It was no secret. So why kll him now? Sam: But if it wasn't him, who was it? Foyle: Well, the man was a crook. Got to assume he had enemies. He was working with Keegan, was extorting money from Turner. He was profiteering. He was in ration book fraud, underage drinking. Foyle reaches up into the fireplace and finds a tin concealed inside. Foyle: Uh-oh. Sam: What is it? She turns to look as Foyle opens the tin. Sam: Money? Foyle: Over £200 here. Outside the Bell. Foyle and Sam are walking back towards the car. Sam: How could he have earned as much as that? Foyle: Well, certainly not by ration book fraud, that's for sure. As she gets into the car, Sam spots an envelope on the dashboard. Sam: Oh, Lord. Foyle: What? Sam: I forgot to give you this. Foyle: Sam! He takes the envelope and opens it. Sam: I'm sorry, sir. My dad always said I had a memory like a sieve. Foyle: Don't sigh, you get- Look, this is important. Sam: Sorry. Beaumont estate. Sam and Foyle drive up just as Groves is coming out of the house. Foyle: Doctor Groves. Groves: I'm afraid I'm just leaving. They're burying the Stephens girl. I thought I ought to be there. Foyle: Well, I won't keep you a minute. Er, you were Greta Beaumont's doctor? Groves: Yes. Foyle: She was registered with the local police, C registration, virtually unrestricted. Even so, she should have been moved when the home office started the rearrest of aliens in all coastal districts earlier this month, and yet she wasn't, was she? She was exempted. Apparently, she had a heart condition? Groves: I can't comment on that. Foyle: Oh, it wasn't you who diagnosed severe angina in Mrs Beaumont? The, er, postmortem has shown that she was as healthy as you and me. She didn't have angina at all, which means the medical report was false, er, but it wasn't you who wrote the report? Groves: I think you're trespassing on doctor/patient confidentiality. Foyle: Ah. Well, I can have a copy of the report with the name of the doctor who signed it in 24 hours. Groves: Then that's what you'll have to do. I have nothing to say. Churchyard. Tracey Stephens' funeral procession. Vicar: "He that believeth in me, though he were dad, yet shall he live, and whosoever..." Sam (voiceover): It could have been us. That's her father. Eric Stephens follows the pallbearers, along with other mourners including Ray, Groves and Mark Andrews. Sam: You don't think... Sam and Foyle are revealed to be watching from a short distance away. Sam: Well, if there was anyone in the village with a grudge against the Germans... Vicar: "We brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we shall carry nothing out. The lord gave, and the lord hath taken away." Wake. Stephens is talking with the vicar among the crowd of mourners. Foyle approaches him, Sam hanging back behind him. Foyle: Mr Stephens, er, forgive me. I'm a police officer and was in the pub the other day when it was ht. I met your daughter very briefly. I'm very sorry. Stephens: Seventeen years old. Foyle: Yes. Stephens: You're gonna tell me she shouldn't have been working there. I know that. She was saving up the money, her and Ray. They'd have been married within a year... Foyle: Oh, no. Stephens: And now? I hate the Germans. I hate the bloody Germans. That's why you're here, isn't it? You're looking into the death of that German woman. Well, she got what's coming to her. She didn't belong here and out flouting the law as much as she liked. Riding, driving her car, doing as she pleased. You saw what they did to my Tracey. I'm glad someone did for her. He moves off, and Foyle walks back over to Sam. Foyle: She drove. Beaumont estate. Foyle approaches the house and heads into the garage. He walks around a car parked inside to see that there's a noticeable dent in the front. Sarah Beaumont walks in. Sarah: What are you doing? Oh, it's you, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Was this, this your stepmother's? Sarah: No, actually. It's daddy's. Foyle: Ah. Sarah: Not that we ever use it anymore. It hasn't been out of the garage for about three months. Foyle points out tyre tracks on the floor. Foyle: Oh, these look a little more recent than that, don't you think? Sarah: Oh, it's the gardener. He takes it out to clean it. Foyle: Ah. Sarah: Why are you here? Cut to the pair of them in house's front room. Foyle: You mentioned a family trust. Sarah: Yes. It's very simple. This house, the land, and all the money that goes with it passes down to the first in line on their marriage. Been that way for centuries. Foyle: And the first in line is...? Sarah: Me. So when Michael and I get married, it's all ours. Foyle: So what would have happened to your father and, er, and Greta? Sarah: We hadn't really talked about it. They could've stayed here, or there are plenty of cottages on the estate. Greta wasn't at all happy with the arrangements, so last year, she went up to London to the solicitor's, and funnily enough, that's how I met Michael because she brought him down here working on the entails and the codicils and all that sort of stuff. Foyle: Ah. So you first, um, started going out together in- Sarah: In spring. Foyle: In the spring. Sarah: Greta was horrified, but of course she knew she'd lose control of the manor as soon as I was married. Obviously, that's what she had against him. Foyle: Love at first sight? Sarah: That's what Michael said, and he's right. We're perfectly suited. Henry Beaumont walks into the room with some paperwork. Henry: Er... He spots Foyle. Henry: What are you doing here? Do you know who klled her? Foyle: Not yet, no. Er, but I'm afraid there was, er, another death in the village last night, a ht-and-run victim, it seems. Ian Judd? Henry: Judd? Sarah: He was the landlord at the Bell. Henry: Greta knew him. Couldn't stand the man. Sarah: Was he mrder? Foyle: I'm afraid so. Thank you for your time. He turns and leaves. Henry: Useless. Sarah: I think he's doing his best. Henry: He doesn't know anything. Time he moved on. Foyle's kitchen. Foyle is frying his fish and just about to serve it up when the telephone rings. AC Summers' office. Summers is pouring himself a drink as Foyle takes a seat. Summers: You don't give up, do you, Foyle? Despite what I told you, you still persist in these transfer requests. Half a dozen more the very day you left this office. I saw you posting them from the window. Well, it looks as if, on this occasion, you may, in fact, have got your own way. You still want to be involved in the wr effort? Well, I don't like losing you, but after due reflection, I've decided that if you're so damn determined, as it happens, something that's come up might just suit you. It's a senior position in the cabinet office reporting directly to General Ismay. Foyle: You've put me forward? Summers: Ismay wants you to report to him in Whitehall at 0900 hours tomorrow morning. Foyle: I can't do that. Summers: What? Foyle: I can't start yet. Summers: Foyle, am I getting through to you? This is the cabinet office. They won't shilly-shally around just to suit you. Foyle: Well, I'm investigating a mrder. Summers: The German woman? Just get your case notes typed up and send them to me. Foyle: No. I'm sorry. I can't stop now. Summers: What are you talking about? I'm offering you exactly what you requested here in this office and in almost a dozen letters. You said it yourself. What does it matter, one mrder? Foyle: Two, actually, almost certainly connected. Summers: You want me to tell General Ismay you're busy? Foyle: I'd like you to ask him to wait. Summers: I doubt that is a possibility. Foyle: Then I'm sorry. He gets up to leave. Summers: Foyle, if you walk out of that door, you will remain a policeman not just for the duration of the wr, but until the day you retire. You won't get a second chance. Foyle: The German woman was protected by, er, influential friends, and it's still possible that it was those friends who wanted her dad. She was as fit as, er, you or me, and yet the family doctor lied about an angina condition on her medical report to prevent her from being interned. Summers: So have you arrested him, this doctor? Foyle: No, because he was only part of it. Summers: Are you suggesting there was a conspiracy? Foyle: I'm suggesting that Henry Beaumont, her husband, is rich and influential and would, I imagine, find it very easy to expect favours. Greta Beaumont went before a tribunal last February. She was given C registration and was classified as a refugee from nzi oppression. Greta Anna Hauptmann, her maiden name, isn't exactly your classic refugee. For a start, she has two brothers still in Germany. One of them served under Von Falkenhorst in Norway, and the other is a ranking officer in the Abwehr in Berlin, which should have led to her being interned immediately, and the committee that gave her C registration must have been blind, idiotic, corrupt, or all three. But, of course, you know all of this, don't you? Because you were the chairman of the committee. Summers: Foyle, we can work this out. Foyle: Well, I don't think so. He leaves and closes the door behind him. Internment camp. Sam and Foyle arrive and Foyle gets out of the car. Foyle: Wait here, will you? Thomas is brought to a meeting arena by guards, where Foyle is waiting for him. Foyle: Mr Kramer. Thomas: I don't know you. Foyle: I'm a police officer. The name's Foyle. Thomas: You have no uniform? Foyle: I'm a detective. Would you like to sit down? Thomas sits. Foyle: I, er, met your nephew Mark. Thomas: Is he in trouble? Foyle: No, but he brought my attention to what's happened to you, and I'm here to help. Thomas: How? Foyle: I've arranged a special dispensation for you. You don't have to stay here any longer. You can go home. Thomas: Why do you want to do this for me, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Well, what happened to you and to your wife was wrong, and I'm very sorry. Thomas: You don't think that it's, perhaps, too late? Foyle: Well, Mr Kramer, we're at wr, and, er, there are going to be casualties, and some of them are going to be innocent like your wife. I couldn't do anything to help her, but I can do something to help you. Do you want to leave, or don't you? Thomas: I want to leave. Sam and Foyle are driving along a country lane. Foyle: Do you know, Sam, I think we got it wrong. Sam: The case? Foyle: No. Enemy aliens. Sam: I was reading the Mail. They were saying that Norway would never have fallen if it hadn't been for the Germans and their friends inside the country. Quisling and people like that. Foyle: The Mail. Hmph. Sam: It makes you think, doesn't it? Foyle: Well, Fleet Street would rather you didn't think. That's the whole point. I mean, these people have fled their own country, a step ahead of concentration camps and God knows what. They've had to give up everything, their homes, their possessions, and if getting out of a country is hard enough, getting into another one is even worse. They have to be sponsored. There's the British Consul, port immigration, tribunals, the local police. And when they finally do settle down, what do we do? We arrest them and lock them up again. Sam: Would you have helped Greta Beaumont? Foyle: Well, I wouldn't have broken the law. St Mary's Hospital. Sam and Foyle arrive outside. Hospital ward. Milner is reading a copy of Tappan's Burro. Foyle eyes it as he arrives and Milner huffs out a laugh. Milner: There's not a lot of choice in the hospital library. Foyle: Oh, I see. Have you tried, um, Graham Greene? Brighton Rock's very good. You'd like that. I'd bring it in. Milner: Thank you. My wife said she'd bring something in. She came yesterday, but she forgot the book. Today she forgot to come at all. Foyle: Oh. Did you read the notes? Milner: Yes. I read those. Foyle: And? Milner: I prefer your prose style. Foyle: Oh, right. Well, anything occur to you? Milner: Why are you doing this, sir? Do you really need my help, or do you just feel sorry for me? Foyle: Well, I'm trying to find a kller, Milner. I don't have time for charity. I've explained to you why I'm here. You either want to help or you don't. Milner: What I don't understand is, what did Mrs Beaumont have against Michael Turner? If there was something she didn't like about him, why didn't she come out and say what it was? Foyle: Good question. Milner: Or was it all about money, the family trust? Sarah gets married, Henry and Greta lose. But that doesn't add up. From what you say, Henry Beaumont was the one that ruled the roost, and he was happy for the wedding to go ahead, anyway. No. The key to this is Greta and Michael Turner. What did she know that she wasn't saying? What was it that made her afraid? Foyle: Any ideas? Milner: Er, just one. Ian Judd. Foyle: Yes. Greta had something against him, too, according to Henry. Milner: How did she even know him? Judd saw Turner with Tracey Stephens. That was when he started blackmailing him. Maybe Judd went to Greta with what he knew, what he'd seen outside the pub. By the way, was there a moon that night? Foyle: Another good question. Well done. Thank you. Beaumont estate. Sam waits outside with the car. Henry (voiceover): Why are you back here again? Do you know who klled my wife? He and Foyle are talking in the study. Foyle: I, I'd just like, er, one or two more details about the family trust. Henry: What about it? Foyle: It's the reason your wife went to London. Sarah: She couldn't bear the idea of my inheriting. Henry: That's not true. She was meddling, yes, but I knew she wouldn't get anywhere. These things are written in stone. Foyle: And when did she start, um, making these inquiries? Henry: About, oh, um, October, November last year. Foyle: Would you say she, er, became obsessive about it? Henry: I would say that she spent a devil of a lot of time on it. Foyle: Mm-hmm. And Michael Turner was the solicitor responsible for answering her questions. Sarah: Until he joined the Admiralty. Henry: Yes. Foyle: Er, did your wife, um, and yourself have separate banking arrangements? Henry: I don't see what damn business that is of yours. Sarah: Daddy, I- Foyle: Did you give her an allowance? Henry: She had a personal allowance and a separate allowance for the housekeeping, yes. Foyle: And did she ask for any money in excess of that? Henry: When? Foyle: Recently, in the weeks before her death. Henry: Once or twice, a few times, but prices now, food, petrol, you have to pay. Foyle: Right. Thank you. Henry: Uh-huh. Foyle goes as if to leave, and then turns back. Foyle: How did you get Doctor Groves to lie about your wife? Henry: I paid him, pure and simple. Foyle: And Summers? Henry: Oh, we go back a long way. Foyle: And did you know about Greta's family? Henry: The brothers? Foyle: Yes. Henry: Yes. Of course I knew, but that's not the point. I knew her. That's why I was prepared to lie for her, to break the law for her. She wasn't the enemy. I loved her, Detective Chief Superintendent. I'd do it again. Foyle approaches the building where he met with Summers. Later. Foyle sits waiting on a sofa in the lobby. Michael Turner comes out to meet him in his Admiralty uniform. Turner: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Ah. Turner: Good to see you. Sorry to have kept you waiting. Foyle: Not at all. Perfectly all right. Turner: How can I help? Foyle: Is there somewhere we can speak? They enter an office and Foyle closes the door behind them. Turner: So, what can I do for you? Foyle: Um... Well, you could tell me the truth. Turner: I thought I already had. Foyle: No. You were lying. Turner: Well... Yes. All right. I'll come clean. Judd was blackmailing me. Is that what you wanted to hear? Yeah. I was willing to pay. I mean, he wasn't asking that much, but now that he's dad, well, might as well call a spade a spade. Foyle: How did you know he was dad? Turner: Sarah told me. Foyle: Oh. No. You're, you're still lying. Um... Judd saw you and Tracey Stephens together, and you paid him to keep silent isn't true. Turner: That is true. He told you himself. Foyle: Oh, well, he was lying as well. We see a flashback to outside the Bell pub at night. Judd is looking out of a window at Turner's car. Judd (voiceover): Saw the two of them one evening. Must have been, oh, start of March. He'd been hanging around outside the pub in his car. A woman in heels approaches the car. Judd (voiceover): That, well, sort of puzzled me, so I started to keep an eye out, and then one night about, oh, ten o'clock, I saw her get in with him, our Tracey. That's who he'd been waiting for. She got in with him, the back seat. The woman gets in and Turner follows her into the back seat. Foyle (voiceover): It was pitch-black. Cut back to Foyle and Turner in the office. Foyle: There was a blackout. There wasn't a moon. He wasn't able to see you and Tracey Stephens. Turner: Of course he saw us. How else would he have known about it? Foyle: It wasn't even Tracey Stephens you were with. You didn't even know her. All you knew was that she'd been klled by the bmb and couldn't answer for herself, and you used her. A flashback shows Tracey in the pub and with Ray. Foyle (voiceover): She wasn't the sort of girl who'd leap into bed with just anybody for ten bob. She was saving up to get married. She was going to marry her sweetheart from the greengrocer's. I met her parents. They weren't the sort of people who'd let their daughter behave like that. Everything you said about her was a desecration. The office. Turner: Judd saw us. Foyle: No. You told Judd to say he'd seen her, and he agreed to keep you on the hook because after you'd married Sarah Beaumont, you'd be very wealthy, and then he'd really start making you pay because he knew who you'd really met in the car park... A flashback to the Turner and the woman in the car reveals her to be Greta. Foyle (voiceover): Greta. Turner (voiceover): My mother-in-law? The office. Foyle: Well, she wasn't your prospective mother-in-law when you first met in October, five whole months before you met Sarah, which is why you were so very keen to interrupt her when she tried to tell me about it. Flashback to the earlier scene of Foyle questioning Sarah and Turner. Sarah: Funnily enough, Greta introduced us- Turner: Mrs Beaumont came to London. She was interested in the family trust. The office. Foyle: You didn't want me to know it was Greta who'd introduced you, and no wonder she didn't want the marriage to go ahead, and of course she couldn't tell her husband why not. She knew you for the, er- for the sort of person that you really are. You start coming to the house. You're still seeing Greta at the Bell, but the next thing she knows, you've dumped her. You've taken the money, the stepdaughter, the lot. Flashback to the piano wire trap being set and Greta riding into it. Foyle (voiceover): And in the end, you had to kll her because she thrat you once too often. Maybe she cared more for Sarah than anybody thought. Maybe she was prepared to destroy her own marriage to keep Sarah from you. So, you got rid of her. This time we see that it's Turner behind the tree. He carves a swastika into the wood. Foyle (voiceover): Leaving the swastika behind as a diversion. Flashback switches to Judd being pursued by the car. Foyle (voiceover): And Judd was blackmailing Greta as well as you, but of course you weren't going to spend the rest of your life paying him off. So, he had to go, too. The office. Turner is silent a few moments, then takes a breath. Turner: All right. Foyle: Is that a confession? Turner: Why not? You seem to have it all worked out. But listen to me, Foyle. There are 36 of us working here at OIC. Right now we're putting together a cryptanalysis service for the royal Navy. Do you have any idea how vital it may be? Right now we have no cryptanalysis. We're using antiquated manual cipher tables. We have no air reconnaissance and no RDF. We failed in Norway because we had no advance warning of German fleet movements. Even worse, now they can knock our ships out one by one. There's nothing we can do about it because although they're intercepting all our operational and administrative ciphers, we haven't the faintest idea where they are. Foyle: What's this got to do with Greta Beaumont? Turner: Everything. He's silent for a few moments as he approaches Foyle. Turner: Yes, I admit I klled her. It was just like you said. I fell for her. We began an affair. Then I met Sarah. But have you any idea how important I am to the work we're doing here? Six months' work. I'm actually leading the team here. Ask Rear Admiral Clayton. Ask Sir Norman Denning. What good is it gonna do, taking me out of here and throwing me in prison? What good is it gonna do hanging me? It would set back our work here months. And that could cost us another ship. Hundreds of lives. Are you ready to have that on your conscience, Detective Chief Superintendent? Is it really worth the price? She was only a German woman. She was the enemy. Foyle: Judd? Turner: Blackmailer, just like you said. So, you have to take the wider view. This is wr. St Mary's Hospital. Sam and Foyle are approaching in the car. Sam: Are they gonna hang him? Foyle: Probably. Sam: Do you mind if I ask you a question? Weren't you tempted to let him go? Foyle: Yes. Yes, I was. Hanging him is, is not gonna do anybody much good, and he had a point, I suppose, but, um... I'm a policeman. I'm here to do a job. Simple as that. If I start bending the rules, I might as well pack it in. He gets out of the car, and Sam follows. Sam: Yes, but she was a German. Foyle: Well, the wr doesn't make any difference at all. She's a human being. She was mrder. mrder is mrder. You stop believing that, and we might as well not be fighting a wr because you end up like the n*zi. Milner emerges from the hospital on crutches and in his military uniform. Sam nods Foyle in his direction. Sam: Sir. Foyle: Morning, sergeant. Milner: Sir. Foyle: Thought you might like a lift. The three of them head towards the car together and get in.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "01x01 - The German Woman"}	foreverdreaming
Countryside. Edith Johnstone is bicycling along a country lane. She stops by a telegraph pole and climbs up to the top of the pole. She cuts the wire then starts to climb back down. Meeting hall. A poster outside announces an event called "Whose wr? A meeting of the Friday Club". Two men in suits are waiting on the front steps as several people walk in past them. Thunder rolls in the background. CAPTION: LONDON, MAY 1940. Milner makes his way along the street on crutches. As he's passing the steps into the meeting hall, a car pulls up in front. The two men from the steps walk down to meet it and open the door for the occupant. Man: Sir. Guy Spencer gets out of the car. Spencer: Thank you. He nods to Milner in passing. Spencer: Good evening. You coming in? Milner: I wasn't planning to. Spencer: Oh. Milner: I'm on my way back to my hotel. Spencer: Is it far? Milner: Gloucester Road. Spencer: Far enough. There's another roll of thunder. Spencer: Looks like it's going to bucket down. Why don't you come in? I'm Guy Spencer. I'm speaking here tonight. Milner: "Whose wr"? They start up the steps together. Spencer: Are you a casualty? Milner: Yes. Spencer: Well, it clearly wasn't yours. The two of them enter the hall together. Milner: Friday Club. What is that? Are you pacifists? Spencer: Nobody wanted this wr. Did you? Milner: I wouldn't have said I had much choice. Spencer: My point exactly. Alan He approaches his assistant Alan Fleming. Fleming: Evening, Guy. Spencer: How is everything? Fleming: Not a great turnout, I'm afraid. There's about twenty. People are getting scared to come. Spencer: Well, that's to be expected, I suppose. This is a young friend of mine. Milner: Paul Milner. We met outside. Fleming: Alan Fleming. Spencer: Well, let's get on with it. You will stay? Milner nods. Spencer walks off with Fleming. Spencer: (Useful.) Later. Spencer is speaking on stage with Fleming sitting beside him. Spencer: Some people say that htler is mad. Well, they should ask themselves this. Is it a madman who has been able in seven years to restore Germany to its position as one of the foremost nations of the world? Is it a madman who has led his forces across Europe and who is even now knocking at our door? Let me ask you a question. Who are the real benefactors of this wr, hmm? He points out Milner in the crowd. Spencer: Here's a young soldier. Just back from Norway. A true hero who served his country and has been crippled and cast aside. Has he benefited or has he been used as cannon fodder in a wr we should never have gn? Outside. Isaac Wolf is walking along and sees the sign for the meeting. Isaac: Why can't you people find somewhere else for your filthy rabble-rousing? He spits on the ground. The two men on the steps exchange a look and then follow him. Spencer (voiceover): Who is the real enemy? The Bolshevik and the Jew. Cut to back inside the hall. Spencer: They were the enemies of Germany, and they are our enemies now. And because I hold this belief I am called a fascist, a sympathiser, an agitator. Well, believe me. I am not a violent man. Intercut between Spencer's speech and the two men beating Isaac up in a back alley. Spencer: This organization, the Friday Club, does not believe in volence. I think of myself as a patriot, who will do anything to serve the country that he loves. Isaac is left unconscious on the ground. Inside, Spencer concludes his speech. Spencer: But this is an unnecessary wr and not our wr. And that is the truth that the British government is determined to hide. The crowd rise to their feet and applaud. Milner stays seated, watching the people around him but not joining the applause. OPENING CREDITS Hastings police station. The reception area is crowded with a lot of people all talking at once. Foyle enters and walks through to where Hugh Reid is behind the desk. Hugh: Ah, Christopher, have you got a moment? Foyle: It's like Piccadilly Circus in here. Hugh: Yes, these new defence regulations - evacuation, lighting, use of firearms. It's causing disaffection among members of his majesty's forces. Foyle: You're a bit overstretched, aren't you? They head into the back together. Hugh: Whole thing's ridiculous. Apparently, in Eastbourne the other day, a young couple parked in one of these regulated areas, and just as they were leaving, a constable pulled them over and told the driver he'd been in a prohibited area. Young girl next to him went bright red, said, "Don't worry, officer. I didn't let him go anywhere near it." He chuckles at his own joke as they arrive at Foyle's office. Hugh: Now everyone's panicking. The whole country's gone mad. They're seeing German parachutists everywhere. Clouds, flying geese, ack-ack fre. Ever since Brussels fell, everybody's been waiting for this invasion to happen, and now they've gn to imagine that it already has. Foyle: Well, the Germans are on the coast South of Boulogne, which puts them only, what, 30 miles from here. Our forces have got nowhere to go. North of Boulogne, Calais, Ostend? They're cornered. Hugh: So what will happen? Foyle: Well, I don't know. It's a little bit worrying, though, isn't it, when the king feels it necessary to tell everyone to get on their knees for a national day of prayer? Hugh: Oh, well, let's hope it works. Anyway, I wanted to ask you a favour. Are you busy? Foyle: Hmm. Hugh: Silly question. I've got a young girl here, name of Edith Johnstone. She works as a chambermaid up at the White Feather. It's a hotel. Foyle: I know it. Hugh: She's been caught cutting telephone wires just outside Crowhurst. Foyle: Not good. Hugh: No, and it gets worse. There's a military camp half a mile up the road. Foyle: Want me to talk to her? Hugh: Would you mind? Foyle: Where is she? Hugh: Downstairs. Foyle: Right. Hugh goes to leave the office. Foyle: You're still on for Sunday afternoon? Hugh: Sunday afternoon? Absolutely. Foyle: Good. 'Cause we're, um, praying Sunday morning, aren't we? Hugh chuckles as he leaves. Interview room. Edith sits at the table. She looks up as Foyle walks in. Foyle: Hello. How are you? Got everything you want? Edith: I'd like a cigarette. Foyle: Ah, well, I'm afraid I don't smoke. Er, my name's Foyle. I'm a police officer. And, um, you're in an awful lot of trouble. I mean, what on Earth did you think you were doing? Edith shrugs slightly. Foyle: I mean, did your, um- I mean, where, where do your parents live? He sits down. Edith: They don't care about me. Foyle: That's not quite what I asked, is it? Edith: I don't know where my father is. My mum lives in Norfolk. Hunstanton. Do you know where that is? Foyle: Yes. Edith: Don't matter. She don't give a damn. Foyle: It seems very strange that a young girl like you, cutting telephone wires. I mean, that's bad enough, but there's a military camp half a mile away. Did you know there was a camp there? Edith: Yes. Foyle: What on earth made you do it, then? I mean, do you want to help the Germans? Is that it? You must be very committed to risk your life because that's what you've done, I'm afraid. Edith: I don't think so. They'll be here soon anyway. Another few days. Foyle: Who? Edith: The Germans. They've smashed the Dutch, the Belgians, and the French. We ain't got a hope. Any day now, they'll invde, and you'll be out of a job. You'll be the one who's in jail. And I'll be the one who's laughing. Foyle: All right. So that's what you think? Edith: That's what I know. Heil htler. She raises her hand in a nzi salute, but mispronounces 'heil'. Milner's office. Sam pushes a drawer closed. Sam: Where do you want these? Milner: Don't know. Sam: Actually, I'm not sure there's anywhere to put them. Are these all unsolved cases? She's looking at a hefty stack of files in boxes. Milner: No. Sam: Oh. Sorry. Well, er, if it's not important, we could move them up here. Out of sight, out of mind. She puts the files on top of a cabinet. Foyle walks in. Foyle: Settling in all right? Milner: Yes, sir. Foyle: Need anything? Sam: We could do with some more space. Milner: I'm all right. Foyle: Well, I want you to find out what you can about an Edith Johnstone of Hunstanton, Norfolk. Parents, background, schooling, political affiliations. And also whatever we've got on, er, a hotel called the White Feather. Milner: Right. Sam and Foyle are driving along. Sam: The White Feather? I thought that's what they gave people for cowardice in the last wr. Foyle: It is. Sam: Do you think they'll hang her? Sabotage in a time of wr, that's treason, isn't it? Foyle: Well, it's not actually been confirmed. Sam: I wonder why she did it. You have any idea? Foyle: Sam. Sam: Sorry. They pull up in front of the White Feather. Hotel lobby. Foyle approaches the desk. Margaret Ellis comes down the stairs to meet him. Margaret: Can I help you? Foyle: Good morning. Erm, my name's Foyle. I'm a police officer. Margaret: Ah, yes. Foyle: Are you the owner? Margaret: Margaret Ellis. Yes, my husband and I run this hotel. Foyle: I understand you employ an Edith Johnstone. Margaret: Edith. She's not in any trouble, is she? She's been with us now for five or six months. She's always seemed quite reliable. Foyle: And where did you find her? Margaret: She was working in a smaller hotel near Hastings before she came here. The Crescent. Foyle: She have references? Margaret: Excellent references. It's almost impossible to find good staff at the moment. May I ask what it is she's done? Foyle: Well, yes, you can, but I'm not at liberty to tell you at the moment. Margaret: Oh, I quite understand. Foyle: Did she ever express, er, any sort of political opinion? Margaret: Political? Foyle: Well, um, the way things are going. Um, events in Germany, for example. Margaret: Well, I really couldn't say, Mr Foyle. It's never been my habit to hobnob with the staff. Arthur Ellis comes through the door behind her. Margaret: Ah, this is my husband, Arthur. This is Mr Foyle, a police officer. Foyle: Morning. Arthur: Really? Why? Er, I mean- Margaret: He's been making inquiries about Edith Johnstone. Arthur: Edith? Where is she? What's she done? Margaret: Well, she hasn't done anything as far as I know, and I'm afraid Mr Foyle is refusing to enlighten me. Foyle: Er, she ever tell you, um where she came from? Arthur: Yes. Came from Norfolk. Foyle: Yes, yes. That's right. Well, thank you for your time. He leaves Arthur: Why was he asking about Edith? Margaret: It doesn't matter. It's nothing to do with us. Arthur: Having the police here, now? Margaret: We've got nothing to be afraid of. We have nothing to hide. Arthur: We're breaking the law. Margaret: Margaret: Arthur, we've been through all this, and I have told you, a week from now, there will be no law. Alan Fleming enters the lobby through another door. Fleming: Who was that, just now? Margaret: Oh, it was nothing, Mr Fleming. A police officer. Fleming goes to look out of the window. Fleming: What did he want? Margaret: He was just making inquiries about one of our staff. Nothing important. Fleming: Good. Hotel dining room. Sam is sitting at a table with Foyle, having tea and sandwiches. Sam: This is very decent of you, sir. Foyle: That's perfectly all right, Sam. Sam: I've never been particularly fond of sandwiches. Seem to have been brought up on them. Too many tea parties. These are very good, though. My father says you should always eat four times a day. He says it's healthier. Foyle: He's a vicar, isn't he, didn't you say? Sam: Mm. But he cycles and swims. He's very fit. Foyle: And how's Milner settling in? Sam: Oh, he seems all right, sir. I think he's glad to have the new leg, although the doctor says he wasn't supposed to wear it for another six weeks. He seemed very determined. The waitress, Dot, brings a plate over to their table. Dot: There we are. Foyle: Miss, excuse me. I wonder if you could help me. Dot: I'm Dorothy. Everyone calls me Dot. Foyle: Dorothy, do you, by any chance, remember an Edith Johnstone who used to work here? Dot: Edie, yeah. Why do you want to know? You're not her dad, are you? Foyle: Er, no. I'm a police officer. Dot: Is she in trouble? Foyle: Er, no. How well did you know her? Dot: Not that well, really. She'd been working in London. Then she came down here, but she said they weren't paying her enough, so she moved. Foyle: Ah. Lots of friends? Dot: I couldn't say. There was a man she used to walk out with. Foyle: And, er, what was his name? Dot: I don't know. I, I don't know anything about him. Sam: They're a bit like that, aren't they? Dot: What? Sam: Boyfriends. Here today, gone tomorrow. And it's over so quickly, you hardly get to know what they're called. Dot: He wasn't like that. Sam: Was he a soldier? Dot: I don't know what he was. He was a nice boy. Edie was crazy about him. David. That was his name, if you really want to know. David Lane. Foyle: Right. Thank you. Well done, Sam. Sam: That's all right. Is that the last lemon curd? Foyle: Yes. Sam: Do you mind? Foyle: Not at all. Hotel lounge. Margaret brings a tray of drinks over to an older couple, Ernest and Caroline Bannerman. Margaret: Here we are, Sir Ernest. It's always such a pleasure to have you and Lady Bannerman here. Ernest: It's a pleasure to come. Margaret: And, of course, you're staying for tomorrow. Ernest: Absolutely. Caroline: That's why we're here. Margaret looks around and spots someone else coming in. Margaret: Oh, can I introduce Miss Harwood? Miss Harwood enters room, followed by Alan Fleming. Margaret: She's come all the way down from London. She works in Whitehall. All very hush-hush, but I'm sure you'll be able to wheedle a few secrets out of her. Ernest: How do you do? Hardwood: It's very nice to meet you, Sir Ernest. I've heard a lot about you. And I've heard you speak out in Parliament. I think you're very brave. Ernest: Well, somebody has to face up to the facts. Harwood: I agree. Margaret: Excuse me. She leaves. Ernest: When's Guy coming down? Fleming: Tomorrow. Ernest: Ah. Hotel lobby. Robert Wolf is signing the guestbook. Arthur: I'm afraid I'll have to ask you for your identity card, Mr Woolton. Wolf: Of course. He takes it out and hands it to Arthur. Arthur: Thank you. And it's for two nights? Wolf: At least two nights, yes. Margaret comes through from the back. Margaret: Can I help you? Arthur: It's all right, dear. Margaret: Are you staying here? Wolf: Yes. My secretary made a reservation. Arthur: This is Mr Woolton, dear. Wolf: I must point out it is the policy of this hotel not to take Jewish guests. Arthur: I have his identity card. Wolf: I am not of the Hebrew faith. Margaret: Good. Stanley Ellis enters the lobby. Margaret: Oh, this is my son. He'll take your bags for you. Arthur hand Stanley the room key. Arthur: Room six. Margaret: Oh, and, Mr Woolton, I'm afraid the main lounge of the dining room will be closed tomorrow night. We have a private function. Wolf: I see. He leaves and follows Stanley up the stairs. Milner house. Jane: So how did you get on today, then? Milner: It was all right. Jane: You haven't told me anything about it. Milner: There's not much to say. Jane brings the kettle over from the stove to the table where Milner is seated. Jane: Did you catch any criminals? Milner: It's not like that. You know that. It's just paperwork. Jane: Well, I suppose that's all you can manage. Milner: What does that mean? Jane: Nothing. Milner: So, what's for tea? Jane: Shepherd's pie. She gets up to get it out of the oven. Milner: Here. Let me help. Jane: Not with the leg. You stay where you are. Milner: It's aluminium. Invented by a man called Desoutter. He was a pilot. He lost his own leg in a plane crash. Jane: Why do you think I want to know that? Milner: I thought you might be interested. It's part of me now. He clasps her hand, but she pulls away and hurries back to the oven. Jane: I don't want to know. And I don't want to see it. At night when you're not wearing it, I don't want it in the room. Milner: Jane. Jane: A few months from now, we may be able to pretend it's not there. She looks down at the food. Jane: That's too hot. Um, let it cool down. Milner: Where are you going? Jane: Just next door. Get a cigarette. She leaves the room. Hotel, room six. Wolf takes a revolver out of a case and aims it, practising pulling the trigger while the gn is unloaded. Foyle house. Foyle is finishing getting dressed, adjusting his tie and putting his suit jacket on. He picks up a hat from on top of a folded copy of the Daily Herald. Hotel dining. Margaret Ellis is reading a copy of the same newspaper aloud to the guests. Margaret: "Boulogne falls. The thrat to this island grows nearer and nearer. While the people of Britain wait anxiously for news of their soldiers over the channel, they must prepare for the onslaught which may come upon their soil." Milner house. Milner is reading a pamphlet titled "The Jewish World Problem". He looks up as he hears footsteps approaching. Milner: We don't have to leave yet, do we? Jane: It'll take us a while to get there. It's not as if you can drive. Milner sighs. A street in Hastings. Foyle and Sam are walking along together. Foyle: Good of you to come, Sam. Sam: Oh, it's a pleasure, sir. Anyway, national day of prayer, I'm only obeying orders, really. Foyle: Oh, I see. Sam: I just hope the sermon's shorter than one of my father's. They arrive at the church and walk in along with a group of other people. Church interior. The vicar speaks at the pulpit. Vicar: It is not wrong to be afraid. Our enemies are close and might appear almost unstoppable. We fear for our soldiers in northern France and Belgium. This wr, this terrible wr, seems to have fallen upon us like a great darkness, and it is hard to find the light. But on this, this national day of prayer, I do not think we congregate here simply to ask God to help us to win, but to help us to find the courage to face whatever the future may bring, because it is in that courage, in that determination that we will find the strength to overcome. Church exterior. The vicar is shaking hands as people emerge. A small boy snatches the hat of the girl next to him. Boy: Got it. Girl: Hey, that's my hat! Milner and Jane emerge, followed by Foyle and Sam. Girl: Give it back. Foyle: Morning, Milner. Milner: Morning, sir. I don't think you've met my wife, Jane. Foyle: How do you do? Pleased to meet you. He shakes hands with Jane. Jane: Paul has told me a lot about you, Mr Foyle. It was very kind of you to take him on. Foyle: Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that. Jane: I thought he was finished with the police force. We both did. Strange how things work out. There's a moment of slightly awkward silence. Sam: I used to think I was going to become a nun. Jane: Oh, really? Sam: But here I am, too. Just goes to show. Jane: Yes. More awkward silence, then Milner takes some folded pages from his inner pocket. Milner: By the way, sir, I wanted to give you these. Background on Edith Johnstone. Foyle: Oh, right. Milner: And I think I've found your David Lane. Traced him through the Department of Labour. He's a fisherman registered in Hastings. Foyle: Only one David Lane? Milner: No, actually, there are two. But the other one's 85. Foyle: Oh, right. Well, good. Thank you. Nice to meet you. He shakes hands with Jane again. Jane: Mm-hmm. Foyle: Bye. He and Sam start to walk away. Foyle: Are you busy now, Sam? Sam: No. You're not going to invite me to lunch? Foyle: No, I'm not going to invite you to lunch. But the boat's coming in now, and I thought that, um- Sam: David Lane. Foyle: Yes. Sam: Working Sundays? Foyle: There's a wr on, Sam. Sam: Yes, sir. Hastings beach. A small fishing boat is approaching the shore as Foyle and Sam drive up. Foyle gets out of the car and speaks to a man stacking fishing gear, who points him in the right direction. Ian Lane jumps down from his boat as Foyle approaches. Foyle: Looking for David Lane. Ian: Oh, yeah? Who are you? Foyle: I'm a police officer. The name's Foyle. Ian: What's he done? Foyle: Well, nothing, as far as I know. Ian: Coming down here on a Sunday. I don't suppose you want to ask him the time of day. Foyle: No, I want to ask him about somebody he knows. Ian calls up to David on the boat. Ian: David! He turns back to Foyle. Ian: I'm Ian Lane. I'm his father. Foyle: How do you do? David: Yes, Dad? Ian: This is a policeman. He wants to talk to you. David: What about? Foyle: Edith Johnstone. Later. Ian is cleaning fish while David talks to Foyle nearby. David: She used to work at the Crescent, you know? That's where I met her, and we walked out together. The only girl I ever met who didn't mind the smell of fish. She and me, we were talking about, you know, one day... Ian comes over to join them. Ian: After the wr? David: It was just talk, Dad. She felt she wasn't earning enough. She had to rent a room and all that, so she got a job up at the hotel, the White Feather. A bit more money and somewhere to stay. It seemed like a good idea. Ian: What's she done, anyway? Why are you asking questions about her? Foyle: I'm afraid she's under arrest. David: What? Foyle: For sabotage. She was found cutting telephone wires near a military camp. David: You've made a mistake. Foyle: Oh, it doesn't appear so. David: I said, you've made a mistake. She wouldn't do a thing like that. Sabotage? That's rubbish! He grab at Foyle aggressively. Ian ushers him back. Ian: David! David: No, I, I want to see her. Ian: That's enough. Let him go. Foyle: Mr Lane, I'm not the one who placed her under arrest. In fact, I'm actually trying to help her. David: Oh, yes? Foyle: And I can't help her unless you help me. I mean, was she not very happy? David: She was afraid. That's what I thought, anyway. And when I first met her, she was a laugh, but later... Foyle: She, um, talk to you about how she felt about the wr? David: Well, she talked, yes. But it wasn't her words that came out of her mouth. Look, she said lots of things. There were meetings, rich people coming from London. She wanted to tell me, but I never listened. I'm not interested in all that. She changed. That's all that mattered to me. She wasn't the same. Foyle: You felt that she was being thrat, maybe? David: No. I don't know, but I can't explain it to you. It was more like, I mean, she was ill. Ian: We stopped seeing her. She came here less and less. David: It was that bitch up there, Mrs Ellis. She poisoned her mind against us. That's what she did. I'd have gone up there and sorted her out myself if- Ian: If I hadn't stopped you. David: Yeah, maybe I still should. Ian: Now, then, that's enough of that. Foyle: I don't think there's anything to be gained by going back to the hotel. David: What are you gonna do? You're the one who's got her under arrest. Hotel. Guy Spencer's car arrives and Fleming goes out to meet him. Fleming: Hello, Guy. Spencer: Alan. Fleming: How was the journey? Spencer: Bloody. How's everything here? Fleming: The beds are lumpy. The food's atrocious. Spencer: I wasn't asking about the accommodation. Fleming: The Bannermans arrived yesterday. The honourable John Mowbray and his wife came this morning, and the Gilberts are here. Spencer: Hmm. What about Miss Harwood? Fleming: Yesterday evening. Why the interest in her? Spencer: And how about our host, Mrs Ellis? Fleming: She hasn't said anything. Spencer: I see. Margaret: Guy! She comes out to meet him, followed by Stanley. Margaret: Oh, my dear Guy. How very good to see you. Spencer: And you. Margaret: Stanley, the bags. You're just in time for lunch. Spencer: Oh, good. They head inside, followed by Fleming, while Stanley fetches the bags from the car. Margaret: Now, tell me, how are things in London? Spencer: Rather too cosmopolitan at the moment, I'm afraid. Having a lot of refugees being forced on us right, left, and centre, Dutch, Belgians, but also Slavs, Latins, and all the rest of it. There are streets in Paddington and Bloomsbury that you would hardly recognise. Margaret: Oh, you'll soon put that right. Spencer: Absolutely, with your help, Margaret. She chuckles. River. Foyle is casting his fishing line as Hugh Reid comes over to join him. Foyle: Oh. Oh, hang on. He's managed to hook a fish, and crouches to reel it in. Hugh: I don't know how you do it, Christopher. What's that, your fourth? Foyle: Yeah. Hugh: If I don't take something home for tea, I'll be sht. Foyle: Well, you can have one or two of these. Hugh: That's cheating. Foyle: Oh. Well, I've caught enough now. You come and fish here. Hugh: What do you think would happen if there was an invasion? Foyle: Well, the likes of us will be, um, lined up against the wall and sht, I suppose. Hugh: That's comforting. Foyle: Incidentally, I met the, er, the owners of the hotel. Hugh: Oh, the White Feather? Foyle: Yeah. I don't know quite what we're uncovering there, but I come away feeling distinctly unclean. I mean, Edith Johnstone, there. She obviously went in as a sweet, charming young thing, and, I don't know, something happened to her in there. Hugh: Do you think you can help her? Foyle: Well, I'll try. I mean, if they hang her, that's a- what a complete waste of a life. Police station. David: I want to see her. Desk Sergeant: You could be her best friend, her father, and the king of England, but it wouldn't make no difference. She's not seeing anyone. David: She didn't know what she was doing. She- I mean, she didn't mean to hurt anyone. All right, I'll show you who's... I'll show you. He turns to leave. Hotel, evening. Mr Wolf enters from outside and heads for the stairs. Fleming steps out. Fleming: I'm afraid the hotel is closed this evening. Wolf: I'm staying here. I have a room. Fleming: Oh, yes? Wolf: Room six. Fleming: Well, I'm afraid the, er, public rooms are closed. Wolf: I was told. A private function? Fleming: An evening lecture. Wolf: And what's the subject? Fleming: The wr effort. Wolf: Very commendable, I'm sure. Hotel back office. Spencer is reading Margaret Ellis's will. Spencer: So, um... There. He indicates a spot for Margaret to sign. Margaret: Mm-hmm. She signs and Spencer blots the ink for her. Margaret: We'll need to have it witnessed. Spencer: Yes. I'll find Fleming. You're a true patriot, Margaret. He leaves with the will. The Ellis's rooms in the hotel. Arthur is tying his bow tie when Stanley enters. Arthur: What do you want? Stanley: I was looking for you. Arthur: Why? Stanley: Can I ask you something, father? Arthur: Yup. Stanley: Do you enjoy having these people here? Arthur: What do you mean? They're guests. Stanley: Always have to dodge the question, don't you? Arthur: Oh, Stanley. Stanley: It's mother, isn't it? She's the one that wants them here, not you. They're sick. Arthur: You shouldn't talk like that. Stanley: Why not? Arthur: You don't understand. They'll come, they'll go. They won't do any harm. Stanley: I'm not so sure of that. Arthur: Why do you say that? Stanley: I was in room six just now. Mr Woolton's room. Arthur: What were you doing there? Stanley: Guess what I found. Arthur: What? What did you find? Tell me. Hotel exterior. Fleming is lighting a cigarette in the window and spots a figure approaching the hotel in the darkness. It's David Lane. Hotel room. Rosemary Harwood is getting ready at her dressing table. She opens her jewellery box and lifts the jewellery in the top layer aside to reveal a folded letter. She stands up and tucks it into her purse. Hotel staircase. A couple, John Mowbray and his wife, are heading downstairs as Wolf is coming up. Wolf: Good evening. Once they're gone, he takes his key from his pocket and heads back to his room. Once he's gone in, Arthur is revealed to be nearby. He takes a few nervous steps forward. Hotel lounge. Guests share polite laughter while a pianist plays. Spencer is standing talking with Margaret. Spencer: I'm afraid the days are long gone when you can believe anything put out by the BBC. Margaret: Oh, yes, the whole thing's a complete fiction. Rosemary Harwood is standing with some other young women. Woman: Of course, London isn't the same anymore. Full of refu-Jews. They laugh. Nearby, Spencer listens in on the various conversations, smiling to himself. Caroline: We stayed at the metropolitan. It was full of Jews. Simply ghastly. You don't know what Ernest said. Ernest: There aren't enough foreskins here to cover a threepenny piece. Laughter. Harwood: Dodging the call-up, queue-jumping, profiteering. They're the worst offenders. It's a fact. Margaret: Well, I've stopped buying the Express. Spencer: It's completely obvious, of course, that the press is very largely under Jewish control. Margaret: Yes. Harwood: What's happening in Germany they brought it on themselves. They've only got themselves to blame. Mowbray (imitating Jewish accent): The army wants blankets, so now I make blankets. The pianist launches into an upbeat jaunty tune and begins to sing: ♪ As I go rolling down the strand ♪ I see them strolling hand in hand ♪ And I really don't ♪ I just don't understand ♪ Why are there so many Jews around in London? ♪ Why can't the Jews just simply disappear? Outside the lounge. Stanley can hear this going on while he sits trying to read a book on Psychopathology. ♪ htler's got them on the run in Germany ♪ Why can't we do the same thing over here? Man (offscreen): Hear, hear. Hotel fuse box. One of the fuses starts to throw off sparks. Outside the lounge. Stanley sees the lights overhead flicker. ♪ They're everywhere in London ♪ why can't the Jews just simply disappear? Others of the group start to sing along with the pianist. ♪ htler's got them on the run in Germany ♪ Why can't we do the same thing over here? Ernest: Hear, hear! Later. The party guests along with Arthur and Margaret Ellis sit listening to Spencer speak. Spencer: It's quite possible that the wr is already over. Good news for those of us who said it should never have happened in the first place. The British army is outnumbered, surrounded, and will soon be destroyed. I take no pleasure in so many young lives being sacrificed on the altar of politicians. But I say it again. This was an unnecessary wr. The British government has misled its people for long enough. The lights spark and go out. Spencer: What's going on? Margaret: Oh, I'm so sorry. It's a fuse. Do sit down. Arthur? Arthur: It's all right, dear. There's the sound of the door opening. Fleming: Who was that? Margaret: Oh, don't worry. This will only take a minute. There are gn. People scream and scramble to get down on the ground. Woman: Oh my God! Ernest: My God. What's happening? Keep down! The lights come back up. Fleming checks on Spencer next to him. Fleming: Guy. Spencer: I'm all right. As people start to get up, Arthur walks towards his wife. Arthur: Margaret! She's slumped back on the sofa, unmoving. Sam and Foyle are driving along a country lane. Foyle: Guy Spencer? Sam: Was he one of the guests? Foyle: Guest speaker, it would seem. Do you know who Guy Spencer is? Sam: No. Foyle: Friday Club? He's one of those Mosleyites, pro-nzi, anti-wr, antisemitic. Sam: It's a shame someone didn't sht him. Foyle: Perhaps they tried. Hotel exterior. Sam paces around waiting by the car. There are policemen stationed at the hotel entrance. Lounge. Foyle studies a chair with two bllet holes in it. He takes a pinch of ash from the ashtray on the coffee table next to it and sniffs his fingers. Spencer enters the room, followed by Fleming. Spencer: Mr Foyle? I'm Guy Spencer. This is my colleague and assistant, Alan Fleming. I gather you're handling the investigation. Foyle: That's right. Spencer: Good. I'm very glad to see you. Margaret Ellis was a fine, intelligent woman and a close personal friend. Fleming: You were here the other day. I saw you leaving. Foyle: Yes. Um, forgive me. You, er, assist Mr Spencer how exactly? Fleming: Well, I organise his diary, I set up meetings. Foyle: Right. And, er, a meeting, that's why you were here? Spencer: This was an informal meeting of friends. We were here to discuss the wr and the likely direction it might take. I'd get a move on with this investigation if I were you. You could be out of a job in a week. Foyle: Oh, if the, um, the Germans invde, you mean? Fleming: Guy's not really being serious. Spencer: It's certainly a possibility. Foyle: And would I be right in thinking it's, er, something you'd approve of? Spencer: I don't care what you think, Mr Foyle, of me or of my politics. I was here in a private capacity. I was not breaking the law. But last night, someone took a sht at me. Three shts, to be precise. And like it or not, it is your job to find out who. Foyle: So you, um, don't think it was, er, Mrs Ellis that was the intended target? Fleming: Guy's had death thrat before. Spencer: I was standing here. Mrs Ellis was sitting there, and her husband, Arthur, was on the other side. Foyle: Her husband? He was a member of the group? Spencer: Association. No. I don't think he's entirely in sympathy with our views. He was fiddling with his pipe all the time I was talking. Foyle: And, er, who else was here, then? Spencer: A Miss Harwood. She's a secretary from London. She was there. The Gilberts. Sir Ernest and Lady Caroline Bannerman were there. The right honourable John Mowbray and his wife, Lady Helen. John is the son of Lord Mowbray. Foyle: An elevated association. Spencer: The Duke of Westminster is one of our loyal supporters. You could say that our influence extends as far as the palace. Foyle: So it could well be the case that it was one of your loyal supporters who took a sht at you? Spencer: The shts came from the door. Fleming: It was, er, pitch-black in here when the lights went out, but I heard the door open just before the shts were fired. Spencer: Someone coming in. Foyle: Or going out. Right. He moves to leave. Spencer: On the subject of which, when can we leave? I have work to do in London. I would like to be gone by lunch. Foyle: Well, not possible, I'm afraid, Mr Spencer. Um, just need everybody to be here for the time being. Spencer: I see. Can I ask you a question, Mr Foyle? Foyle turns back to look at him. Spencer: Are you, by any chance, Jewish? Foyle gives no visible reaction, and after a moment turns to leave without answering him. Outside. Sam is still waiting by the car. The Bannermans emerge from the hotel, followed by Miss Harwood. Ernest: You! He points his cane at Sam. Ernest: Yes, you. Young woman. I want to speak to your commanding officer. Sam: You mean Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle, sir. Ernest: I don't care what his name is. I want to leave this hotel. Sam: Er, I'm afraid that's not possible. He gave strict orders that everyone- Ernest: Do you know who I am? Sam: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't got the faintest idea. Ernest: I am Sir Ernest Bannerman. Caroline: Sir Ernest is the MP for this constituency. Ernest: You have no right whatsoever to keep me here. And this Lady, er, Miss, er, Harwood, she has important work in Whitehall. Harwood: I have to be in London. I'm at the Foreign Office. I'll be missed. Ernest: Now, you're a driver. He moves to open the back door of the car. Ernest: You can take me and my wife home and then take Miss Harwood to the station. Come along. Sam: Er, I'm afraid you'll have to ask Mr Foyle, sir. Ernest: What? Are you defying me? Sam: Yes. It looks as if I am. Ellis bedroom. Arthur is lying on the bed. Arthur: I can't believe it happened. It's a terrible thing. I was right beside her when the lights went out. Inches away. Stanley: Maybe they were fring at you. He's standing nearby with his face turned away. Foyle observes the two of them. Foyle: Were you due to speak at this meeting, Mr Ellis? Arthur: No, certainly not. Foyle: Did you not, um, share your wife's political opinions? Arthur: Didn't say that. Stanley: Neither of us did. We did what we were told. Foyle: Um, so what happened, um, after the lights went out, then? Arthur: I got up. She told me to mend the fuse. Foyle: So you left the room? Arthur: It was too dark. Foyle: Well, evidently, somebody did because Fleming said that he heard the door open, um, before the shts were fired. Stanley: That was Rosemary Harwood. Foyle: Ah. How did you know that? Stanley: I was just outside. Foyle: But, er, how did you know it was her if you couldn't see her because it was, it was too dark to see anything? Stanley: I smelt her. She, um, she wears lavender water. Foyle: Ah. Stanley: Er, I'd say she wears it by the bucket. Foyle: Right. Stanley: It was definitely her. Later. Stanley is escorting Foyle back down the stairs. Stanley: I don't think Miss Harwood could have sht Mother, if that's what you're thinking. They all adored her. Ate out of her hand. Foyle: You don't appear to be very moved by your mother's death. They reach the front desk. Stanley: Do you find that shocking? Foyle: Well... Stanley: Sorry. I, I believe in honesty. Foyle: So, you were, um- Stanley: Yes, I was sat just there. Er, at first, the lights started flickering, er, and then went out. It was the fuse, by the way. I replaced it. Foyle: Does that happen often? Stanley: Yes, all the time. It's overload. The, the electrics can't take it. Anyway, it was pitch-black, what with the blackouts and everything, so I, I didn't see anything. Foyle: And, er, did you hear anything of, er, what was being said? Stanley: No. I heard the gn. At the time, I assumed someone had taken a potshot at Spencer, and I wasn't surprised. Foyle: Why's that? Room six. Stanley: The case was on the bed here, and the gn was in the case. Foyle: And, er, you saw the gn how? The case was open? Stanley: Yes. Foyle: It was open already or did you open it? Stanley: Er, I opened it. Foyle: Oh. Why would you do that? Stanley: I'm curious about people. Foyle: Well, so am I, but I don't feel the need to go through their belongings. Stanley: I study psychoanalysis. Freud. That's what I do. Foyle: Who turns down the beds? Stanley: Um, I do. Though Father did last night. Foyle: And you say his name was- Stanley: Robert Woolton. I think he must have left during the night. Father saw his identity card. There's an address in London, I think. Foyle: Um... You must be what, 22? 23? I'm surprised you haven't been called up. Stanley: 22. It's because of my eyes. Foyle: Ah. So you saw the gn in the case, and, er, what did you do then? Stanley: I told my father, and, of course, he didn't want to know, so I told Mother. Foyle: What did she do? Stanley: I suppose we'll never know. Hotel exterior. Foyle walks out to the car where Sam is waiting. Sam: Everything all right, sir? Fleming: Mr Foyle. Foyle turns to see Fleming following him out. Fleming: I'm very sorry if Guy rubbed you up the wrong way just now. He does that sometimes. Foyle: I'm sure. Fleming: Um, there's something I forgot to mention. Last night, there was somebody in the garden. I saw them just before dinner. He was about twenty years old, well-built, fair hair. I'd have said he was a labourer of some kind. I had the idea he was trying to break in. He was definitely trying not to be seen. Foyle: Right. Thank you. Fleming: Um, there's something else you ought to know. Spencer: Fleming? Spencer is standing in the doorway. Foyle: And what's that? Fleming: It doesn't matter. Never mind. Goodbye. He follows Spencer back in. Police station, Foyle's office. Foyle: So we can't even be certain who was meant to be the victim here, Margaret Ellis or Spencer. But the bllts were grouped very close together. One ht Margaret Ellis, one ht the wall behind her, the other ht her chair. Milner and Sam are both in the room with him. Sam: Suggesting that she was the target. Foyle: Other people who were there? Milner: Um, well, the Bannermans you know about, and I've run a check on Rosemary Harwood. She is with the Foreign Office, very senior. Reports directly to Lord Halifax. Sam: Is that possible, sir? I mean, if she's with the Friday Club? Foyle: Well, it's not a crime. Yet. Milner: Actually, sir, I should have mentioned to you. I met Guy Spencer when I was in London. Foyle: Oh, yes? Milner: I wandered into one of his meetings. Foyle: Right. Milner: Er, here's not much to say. There was a lot of talk about the wr. About why we're fighting. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Milner: He's got some very original ideas. Sam exchanges a look with Foyle. Milner takes a breath and pushes on. Milner: Um, the man that calls himself Robert Woolton. The address he gave the hotel, 37 Dormerville road, doesn't exist. It was probably a false identity card. Foyle: Er, he made two telephone calls from the hotel? Milner: I'm already looking into it. Sam: What about the man that was seen outside? Fair hair, in his twenties. What was he doing? Milner: David Lane? Foyle: We're going to ask him, and in the meantime, I want the hotel searched, and the grounds. If it is Woolton's gn, we've got to be sure that, um, he didn't take it with him. Hotel lounge. Harwood and Spencer are watching the police search outside through the window. Harwood: What are they doing? Spencer: Searching for the gn, I suppose. Harwood: How much longer can he keep us here, this Mr Foyle? Spencer: Yes, it is irritating, isn't it? Being pushed around by a provincial policeman with ideas above his station. Harwood: They're not looking for the letter? Spencer: No. No, they know nothing about that. You've done us a great service, miss Harwood. It won't be overlooked. Harwood: I think you should destroy it. They're everywhere. Spencer: Yes, but they know nothing. Now, don't worry. They won't find it. I'll keep it safe. He pats her arm. Outside. One of the policemen finds the gn beneath some plants. He holds it up. Policeman: Hey! Hastings beach. Foyle and Milner are standing on the beach as David Lane climbs down from his boat. Milner: You were there. David: No, I wasn't. Milner: You're lying. You were seen. David: Well, you ask my dad. Foyle: You told me you were going, David, because you blamed her, Margaret Ellis, for what had happened. David: I never hurt her. Milner: So you admit you were there. David: No. I didn't say that. Milner: But you were. You're gonna have to come with us. David: I'm not going anywhere! He runs. Foyle chases after him, leaving Milner behind on his crutches. David runs through a shed and emerges from another door near where Sam is standing with the car. Foyle follows him out and rounds the car to get in. Foyle: Sam, get in the car. Sam: Right. David flees along an alley and out into the road, running in front of a woman with a bicycle who barely manages to brake to avoid the collision. Woman: Oh! Horns honk as David flees up the road, pursued by Sam and Foyle in the car. They chase him through the streets, but have to stop when he runs down some steps. They both get out of the car to look down the steps. Foyle: Well. Lost him. Foyle house. A postman walks up to the front door and pushes something through the letterbox. Inside, Foyle, in the middle of eating some toast, picks up two letters from the mat. Andrew (voiceover): Dear Dad, well, here I am in you know where. If I mention the name, someone will only cut it out. So I'll say I had haggis for lunch today, and it was revolting. We're well into training now. Lectures all day and not nearly enough time in the air. Foyle walks over to take a seat in the armchair as he reads. A framed photo of Andrew in RAF uniform stands on a table nearby. Andrew (voiceover): We're flying Lysanders. Great, fat beasts that grumble all the way down the runway. But at least they're reliable once they're up and almost impossible to stall. I got a wonderful view of the coast last night just as the sun was coming down. Sometimes it's hard to believe what this is all about, that there's a wr, and the news from France not so good. Anyway, I'm eating well. Drinking far too well. It's a good crowd here, optimistic and all determined to get out there and do our bit. How's Hastings? Strange to think of you so far away and on your own. But hopefully, I'll get a bit of leave before my wings exam, and we can go out and catch a trout or two. Look after yourself, Dad. As always, Andrew. Foyle sets the letter down next to Andrew's photo. He looks at it for a moment, then stands up with a sigh. Milner house. Jane is sitting at the table reading the paper. She looks up at the sound of Milner's footsteps approaching. Jane: It's terrible about the Belgians. The papers are full of it. King Leopold giving up like that. I think he's a coward. They say the government will go on fighting anyway without him. Our king would never behave like that. Milner: Jane. You won't even look at me. Jane: I'm reading the paper. Milner: I'm going to work. He moves to leave. Jane: This mrder investigation, how's it going? Milner: I don't know. It's, it's complicated. We found the fisherman. Jane: Who? Milner: The man who ran away, David Lane. He was picked up by two policemen trying to get on a train for London. Jane: And now you can go and interrogate him or whatever it is you do. Milner: Things are going to be how they were, Jane. Jane: Really? Milner: I promise. Wolf's Electrical. Sam and Foyle pull up outside the shop in the car. Sam: That's it, there. Foyle: Right. Sam: Can I- Foyle: Nope. He gets out. Sam: I just thought I'd ask. Foyle: Won't be long. He shuts the car door. Sam sighs to herself and picks up a newspaper. Another car pulls up across the road. The occupants watch Foyle as he walks into the shop. Inside the car, Baddeley turns to speak to the person next to him. Baddeley: That's him. Inside the shop, a woman is just leaving. Foyle closes the door behind her and approaches the counter. Robert Wolf stands behind it. Wolf: Can I help you? Foyle: Mr Woolton? Wolf: My name's Wolf. Foyle: Well, quite possibly, but, er, you used the name Woolton on your false identity card when you checked into the White Feather hotel. Wolf: How did you find me? Foyle: You made two telephone calls from the hotel to the number at this address. Wolf: You are? Foyle: I'm a police officer. He takes his ID out to show to Wolf. Wolf: I see. Wolf switches the shop sign to closed. Wolf: I didn't sh*t anybody. It wasn't me. Foyle: But you, er, took a gn to the hotel. This one. Is this your gn? He takes the gn out of his pocket and unwraps the cloth covering it. Wolf: It's mine. Look. I admit I went to the White Feather to kll Guy Spencer. I took a gn. That gn. But imagining something and doing it are two very different things. Anyway, I never had a chance. I was in my room. The lights went out. I heard three shts. I didn't know what was happening. But as soon as the lights came back on, I looked in my case and the gn wasn't there. I swear to you that's the truth. Foyle: Why did you want to kll Spencer? Wolf: Come upstairs. Upstairs room. An older woman is tending to the badly injured Isaac Wolf. Wolf: It's all right. Get some rest. Woman: Thank you. She leaves. Wolf: This is my nephew. His name is Isaac Wolf. Isaac, this man's a police officer. Isaac groans. Isaac: He's come a little late. Wolf: He isn't interested in you. Nobody was interested in what happened to him. Foyle: What has happened to him? Wolf: He was beaten up by members of the Friday Club. He almost died. He still can't walk. They left him in the street. Isaac: I can feel my legs. It's an improvement. Foyle: Isaac's family is still in Germany. They're in a concentration camp. If I had sht Spencer, I wouldn't have done it in the dark. I would have wanted to see his eyes. Hotel lounge. Spencer: It's quite a coincidence, you and I meeting again like this, wouldn't you say, Milner? Milner is sitting opposite him with a notebook out. Milner: Yes, I suppose it is. Spencer: Did you manage to read any of that material I gave you? Milner: Some of it. Spencer: And? Milner: I don't know what to think. Spencer: You have to think for yourself, sergeant. That's the whole point. That's why you need the facts. This is another book I was going to lend you. Here. Protocols of the Elders of Zion. It traces the Jewish conspiracy all the way back to the time of Solomon. I think you'll find it interesting. Milner: I don't know. Spencer: Hmm, have a read of it. And if you can't manage to give it back to me personally, then you can pop it in the post. Is that it? Milner: Yes, sir. Spencer: Mm. You're a good chap, Milner. This business here, it's an embarrassment, of course, but we'll get through it. And when the wr's over, which could be soon, believe me, it's going to be very important to have the right friends. He gets up to leave and Milner watches him go. Outside Wolf Electrical. As Foyle leaves the shop the car that was parked opposite pulls up in front and Tom Baddeley gets out. Baddeley: Mr Foyle... I wonder if you'd mind coming with me, sir. He takes out an ID and shows it to Foyle. Foyle: Where's my driver? Baddeley: Please, sir. The car drives up to a building with military guards outside. Foyle gets out of the car and Baddeley comes round to meet him. Baddeley: This way, sir. They enter the building and Baddeley shows his ID to the guard on the desk. A large conference room. Lawson is waiting inside for the two men. Lawson: Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle, do come in. Take a pew. Tea? Foyle: Er, no, thank you. Lawson: My name is Lawson. Military Intelligence. You've already met my colleague, Tom Baddeley. Baddeley: I do hope you'll forgive the slightly rough ride, sir. Lawson: Yes, I'm sorry to drag you here like this, but you see, this investigation of yours, this mrder, I'm afraid it's got tangled up with one of our own operations. Foyle: Oh, dear. I am sorry. Lawson: Are you sure you won't have tea? Foyle: Perfectly. Lawson: Well, I will. Would you mind, Tom? He and Foyle sit down while Baddeley pours the tea. Foyle: One of your operations being, er, the Friday Club? Lawson: Yes, the Friday Club. British Vigil, the British Union of Fascists - they're all much of a muchness. Antisemites and aristocrats. Guy Spencer, though, is a bit more of a nuisance. He's more active than the rest of them, and he's certainly more persuasive. Foyle: Why hasn't he been arrested? Lawson: He soon might be. You know, of course, that we arrested Mosley. Baddeley: And Ramsay. Lawson: But sometimes it's better to keep these people at-large, provided we can keep an eye on them. Baddeley hands him his tea. Lawson: Mm. Thank you. We have an undercover agent in the Friday Club. He rang us yesterday. That's how we knew about you. Foyle: Alan Fleming? Baddeley: How did you know? Foyle: Well, perhaps a little too helpful. I'd prefer it if his cover wasn't blown. Lawson: That's why we had to get you up here so quickly. Foyle: Does he, er, know anything about the death of Margaret Ellis? Lawson: Oh, I doubt it. To be honest, the shting of that woman was both annoying and irrelevant. Foyle: To you, perhaps. Lawson: We need your help, Mr Foyle. It goes without saying that all this is extremely confidential. Five days ago, a letter went missing from the Foreign Office. The letter was written by a senior member of Lord Halifax's staff and was addressed to Giuseppe Bastianini, the Italian ambassador here in London. In very broad terms, the letter was examining the possibility of the Italian government mediating between us and htler; in other words, coming to a negotiated peace. The position of the government, of course, is that we fight on. So I'm sure I don't need to tell you what a catastrophic effect on morale it could have if it was believed that any minister at any level was seeking a way out of this wr. Foyle: Rosemary Harwood works in Lord Halifax's office. Lawson stands up. Lawson: We believe that she may have taken the letter. She's been active with the Friday Club for a while now. We think she took it down to the White Feather to pass it on to Guy Spencer, who has all the right connections to make sure it reaches the German authorities. Foyle: And, er, why haven't you arrested her? Lawson: Maybe we should have, but we can't now, not without the letter. Foyle: Oh. We couldn't go in and search the hotel without compromising our man, which we'd rather not do. Lawson: But you and your officers, you have every reason to go over the place. Foyle: Well, we've already done that and found, er, the gn that we were looking for. Lawson: I'm sure you could find a reason to do it again. Hotel grounds. A police vehicle drives past where Sam and and Foyle are standing next to the car. Sam: I thought we'd already searched this place once. Foyle: Yes, we have. They start walking towards the hotel. Sam: What are you looking for now? Foyle: A letter. Sam: To whom? Foyle: To Giuseppe Bastianini. Sam: Who's he? Foyle: He's the Italian ambassador. Sam: Is he a suspect? Foyle gives her a look. Sam: I only asked. The Bannermans' room. A pair of policemen are searching. Ernest: This is an outrage. I'm warning you. I have powerful friends in London. You'll hear more of this. Hotel corridors. Stanley walks through into the back office while more policemen move around. Miss Harwood's room. Foyle is in the room along with the office searching. Harwood: You're going through a lady's room. No gentleman would behave this way. Foyle: No, you're right. But then again, mrder isn't a very gentlemanly business, Miss Harwood. Harwood: I can't imagine what you hope to find. Foyle: It seems on the night of the mrder, you left the room before the shts were fired. Harwood: Who told you that? I have nothing to hide. I hate the dark, I always have. It's like claustrophobia. As soon as the lights went out, I had to get back here. Foyle: In the dark? Harwood: I told you. I wasn't thinking. I just had to get out. Spencer's room. Spencer stops one of the policemen. Spencer: Just a minute. Then he spots Foyle coming through the door. Fleming walks up to join them. Spencer: Foyle, is this the way your men amuse themselves? Fleming: I've had enough of this. I'm not gonna be pushed around by some bloody stuffed shirt. I want to leave. Foyle: Still not possible, I'm afraid. Fleming: I said, I want to go! He grabs Foyle by the front of his jacket. Foyle: Officer, arrest this man. Thank you. Fleming: What? Spencer watches as Fleming is led out. Police station. Foyle and Fleming are walking down a staircase together. Fleming: Thank you for that. I take it you didn't find anything. Foyle: No sign of it, I'm afraid. She might, of course, have panicked and got rid of it. Fleming: Oh, I doubt it. It's too valuable, and taking the letter in the first place was too much of a risk. Foyle: I'm surprised Spencer hasn't, um - let's go in here - hasn't mentioned it to you. He still trusts you, doesn't he? They walk into an interview room together. Fleming: Well, he's told me he's got it. He's just not saying what he's done with it. He likes to play these things close to his chest. Foyle: Well, it's certainly not in the hotel. Fleming: We'll just have to keep looking. So, what about the shting? You think Margaret Ellis was the target? Foyle: Do you? Fleming: There was nobody in the room who had any reason to kll her. Except Arthur Ellis, perhaps. He didn't have it in him. Foyle: The son? Fleming: Perhaps. He could have opened the door. But how would he have been able to see to take aim? I'll tell you one thing, though. I happen to know for a fact that Mrs Ellis changed her will hours before she died. She added a codicil leaving half her money, and that includes half the hotel, to the Friday Club. All for the cause. Foyle: Spencer persuaded her, do you think? Fleming: He's good at that sort of thing. It's not the first time either. He was arrested five years ago. Intimidation, embezzlement. He's got his hooks into your sergeant, too, for that matter. I'd watch out, if I were you. Foyle: Well, they certainly met in London. Fleming: Rather more than that. They had dinner together after the meeting. Spencer's taken him very much under his wing. The wall telephone rings. Foyle: Excuse me. He picks it up to answer it. Hastings beach. Ian Lane is standing on the beach near the pier. Foyle walks down to meet him. Foyle: Mr Lane. Ian: You've got my boy locked up. Foyle: Well, he ran away. He was off to London. Ian: He was afraid of you! He's no criminal. Foyle: Well, asault, drunk and disorderly, skipped bail, did Borstal August-November last year. Ian: That was then. It hasn't been easy for him living on his own with me. He lost his mother when he was nine. She ran off. It's just been two of us. And yes, he mixed with the wrong set and came a cropper with the law. You people never forget. Won't let him forget neither. Foyle: Well, it's a bit more than that, isn't it? I mean, he was seen at the hotel on the night of the mrder, which means he could easily have been the one who took the gn and sht Mrs Ellis. Ian: He never sht anyone. All right, he shouldn't have gone up there. He hasn't got it in him. You take it from me. I want him back. Foyle: Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to wait. Ian: No, you don't understand. I need him now. They're asking for boats. Fishing boats, ferries, clippers, you name it. We're going across where the army's stuck with the Germans bmb them and tnk moving in and God knows what. They've put together a whole fleet of boats. And we're going over there, and we're going to bring back our boys. It's already gn. They say there were nearly 30,000 of them saved yesterday, and there's going to be 30,000 more today. I can pick up twenty men in my boat. Drop in the ocean, you'd say? But there's hundreds of boats all along the coast doing the same. Hundreds and hundreds of them. Only I can't do it without David. Lady Rose is too much for me to handle on my own. So you have to let him go so we can leave together. You let my boy out, and I promise you, I swear on everything I hold sacred I'll bring him back to you. I won't let him run away. We'll do this journey. We'll go there, we'll come back, and then you can keep him for as long as you need. As long as it takes you to realise that he's innocent. As innocent as you or me. Later. Men are heaving the Lady Rose into the sea. Milner, Sam and Foyle stand watching as the boat heads out. Sam: Dunkirk. Do you think you'll ever see him again? Foyle: Yes. He'll be back. He turns and walks away. Sam and Milner watch a while longer. Sam salutes the boat as a foghorn blows. It makes its way over the choppy sea. Hotel dining room. The Bannermans sit around a card table with Miss Harwood and John Mowbray. Spencer is reading a newspaper in a chair behind them. Caroline: Two diamonds. Harwood: Two, no trumps. Ernest: Three spades. Mowbray: Pass. Caroline: Pass. Harwood: Pass. Ernest: Three spades it is, then. Caroline: I can't help you much, I'm afraid. Caroline: For God's sake. How much longer can they keep us here? Spencer stands up from his chair. Spencer: Till after tea, anyway. Arthur and Stanley Ellis are setting things out for tea. Spencer: Arthur, do you think you should be working after everything that's happened? Arthur: No, no. I have to keep busy. Spencer: Yes, of course. You and I have business to discuss about your late wife's affairs. Arthur: What? Behind them, Stanley straightens up to listen. Spencer: Seems we're going to be in partnership. Arthur: That's not- Spencer: Oh, when the Germans arrive, the High Command, we'll be able to put them up here at the hotel. We're near enough to the coast. Stanley: They won't arrive. I don't know why you're kidding yourselves. The Jewish plot? Everyone knows it's not true. Arthur: Stanley. Stanley: No, Dad. I'm fed up with it. I'm fed up with the lot of them. If the Germans were going to invde, they'd have been here days ago. Spencer: You do know that the Belgians have capitulated? Stanley: Yes. But we'll fight on. That's what Mr Churchill says, and I believe him. I think you must be insane, Father, if you believe what these people say. They're sick. And they don't know a thing. He storms out and slams the door. Milner's office. Foyle is reading a file. Foyle: These, um, notes are very good. Very thorough, Milner. Milner: Thank you, sir. I'm afraid they don't tell us the one thing that we need to know. Who fired the shts? Foyle: Or why they were fired in the dark. And if Spencer was the actual target... Milner: That's very likely. Foyle: Why wait for an after-dinner meeting when everyone's around? Easier, less risky to wait until he's left or leaving the hotel or even go up to his room and sh*t him while he's asleep. Milner: Yes, I know. I wondered about that. Foyle: Why wait for the exact moment when the lights go out? Milner: Because you can't be seen. Foyle: Well, you can't see either. How do you know you're hitting the right target? Milner: You spoke to Woolton? Foyle: Yes. It was his gn, but I don't believe for a second he fired it. I mean, it was thrown away, wasn't it? He'd have taken it with him. Milner: How about David Lane, sir? He could have taken the gn, made his way through the hotel. Maybe the lights went out just as he was about to fre. Foyle: They were all in the room. The room was blacked out, the door was closed. Stanley was sitting right outside. Milner: Then he'd have seen him. Foyle: Exactly. Milner: What about Stanley Ellis? He wasn't exactly fond of his mother. Foyle: What's the opposite of an Oedipus complex, do you think? Milner: Sir? Foyle: He was reading Freud, who said the aim of all life is death. Matricide. Could he really have klled his mother? These, um, background notes on Spencer. Well-connected, journalism, treasurer for the Friends of National Spain. No criminal convictions? Milner: No. None that I could find. Foyle: What do you make of him? Milner: I'm not sure. I'd say a man has to be quite brave to hold the opinions he does, especially at a time like this. Foyle: You admire him? Milner: I don't think he's a fool. Foyle: I mean, you read the medical report of, er, Isaac Wolf, the man who got beaten up? Milner: I don't think you can blame Spencer for that, sir. He knew nothing about it. Foyle: How do you know? Milner: He told me, and I believe him. Foyle: Margaret Ellis's will - he had the most to gain from it. Milner: I still think that Spencer was the likely target, sir. He moves a file, revealing the book that Spencer gave him underneath. Foyle looks down at it and Milner follows his gaze. There's a moment of silence as Foyle looks at Milner. Foyle: Right. He turns to leave. Ellis bedroom. Stanley throws the curtains open. Looking back towards the bed, he warily approaches his father where he's lying fully dressed atop the covers. There's an empty glass close to his hand. Sam and Foyle are driving along. Sam: Arthur Ellis. Who'd want to kll him? Foyle: I don't know, but you probably do. Sam: My guess is, he probably saw something. That's what always happens. He sees something, then the kller has to silence him before he can say what he knows. They arrive in front of the hotel. Arthur is being carried out to an ambulance on a stretcher. Foyle approaches the doctor on scene. Foyle: How is he? Doctor: His heart had stopped. It was touch and go for a while, but we managed to revive him. We're just getting him to hospital. Foyle: And what was it? Doctor: Veronal, I'd say. Some sort of sleeping draught, anyway, in his whiskey. Foyle: Who found him? Doctor: His son. Foyle: Right. Ellis bedroom. Stanley: My father was late coming down to breakfast, so I went to call him. I found him lying on the bed fully dressed, and at first, I thought he must have had some sort of heart attck. I don't know. Foyle: Did he, er, often have whiskey before bedtime? Stanley: I don't know. Foyle: This your dad's? Foyle picks up a pipe and sniffs the bowl. Stanley: Yes. He didn't smoke it much. Foyle: And, um... And you say you haven't touched anything? Foyle goes over to the dresser and lays his hand on a stack of hotel notepaper with a pen lying atop it. Stanley: No. I thought he was dad. I called the police. Foyle: Well, for someone whose mother's been mrder and father's been poisoned, you seem remarkably unaffected. Stanley: What would you like me to do, cry? I never liked my parents. My mother was cruel and stupid. What she said about the nzi and the rest made me sick. My father was scared of her, totally under her thumb. It's her place, you see. No, you have no idea what it was like living here. It's always the same. If you had read Freud, you'd know how much damage your parents do to you. It starts even before you're born. Foyle: Ah, yes, you read, er... Stanley: Yes. I wanted to study psychoanalysis. I wanted to go to university. They wouldn't let me. Foyle: Well, Stanley, lying is, is never very clever, but lying to a police officer is a very serious offense. Stanley: I'm not lying. Everything I've told you is the truth. Hospital. Foyle walks into a ward where Arthur Ellis is lying on one of the beds and speaks to a nurse. Foyle: Mr Ellis? Nurse: Yes. She points towards the right bed and Foyle approaches. Foyle: How are you feeling, Mr Ellis? Can you tell me what happened? Arthur: You don't know? Foyle: Well, you didn't leave a note. Arthur: No. Foyle: I mean, whiskey and a sleeping draught - it's fairly evident you tried to take your own life. Why was that? Arthur: Isn't it obvious? Foyle: Not to me. Arthur: People had the wrong impression about Peggy. She was a strong woman, opinionated. But they don't understand. I'd been married to her for 22 years. She was everything to me. Everything. Foyle: Stanley's 22. Arthur: Yes. We were courting when Peggy found she was expecting, so, yes, I did the decent thing. But that doesn't change anything. I'd have married her anyway. I loved her, always did. Foyle: Were you aware of the changes your wife made to her will? Arthur: Spencer's a swine. I tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn't listen to me, and so now... Half the hotel. How do you expect me to go on living when everything I care about has been taken away from me? Foyle turns as if to go, then turns back. Foyle: Do you, er, cure your own meat at the hotel? Arthur: What's that got to do with anything? Foyle: Er, would I be right in thinking that? Arthur: I don't know. Yes. Margaret was in charge of the kitchen. Foyle: Thank you. He leaves. Police station. Hugh Reid is just coming out of the records room when he spots Foyle. Hugh: Ah, Christopher. I'm afraid I've got some bad news. Sir Ernest Bannerman, the MP at the White Feather, he's managed to pull rank. He's made some phone calls, and the long and the short of it is I had to release the lot. Foyle: Right. Okay. They've all gone? Hugh: Yes, they went this morning. Er, except Spencer. He's here, and he wants to talk to you. Foyle: Right. Interview room. Spencer is pacing as Foyle enters. Foyle: How can I help you, Mr Spencer? Spencer: You're holding my assistant, and unless you're going to charge him, I'd like to have him back. Milner enters the room and stands beside Foyle. Foyle: You're very welcome to him. He turns to leave. Spencer: Just a minute. I haven't finished yet. Are you any closer to finding out who klled Margaret Ellis, or, for that matter, who tried to kll her husband, Arthur? I want you to know that I shall be making an official complaint. Arresting Fleming, keeping me detained for three full days. I think you've acted well beyond your authority, Mr Foyle. Milner: Sorry, sir. It was normal procedure. Spencer: Normal or not, it was unnecessary. And inconvenient. Foyle: Have you finished now, Mr Spencer? Spencer: I'm a politician, Mr Foyle. And the way you've treated me, I think you've forgotten that I am the leader of a legitimate organization with legitimate views, even if you don't agree with them. But I'd like you to know that I am just as much a patriot as you are. I love our country. But it is possible to believe that this wr with htler is misguided. Poles and Czechs, they're Jewish interests, not British. Foyle: I know what you believe. Spencer: I don't think you do. I doubt that you know, for example, that the first two British pilots sht down over Germany were blackshirts. The Kiel raid at the end of last year, they were both Mosley's men. Sir Ernest Bannerman, MP. I suppose you would call him a crank and a traitor. Well, he served in the first wr. He was a member of the North Russian relief force in 1919. Right now, he has a son serving in northern France. You have a son serving with the RAF. Are you prepared to lose him? To see him slaughtered simply because htler invde Poland? Milner: I'll take you to Mr Fleming. Spencer: Thank you, Milner. He steps closer to Foyle. Spencer: You see, we're not so different, you and I. We would both welcome an end to this wr. He speaks to Milner on his way out. Spencer: By the way, you will let me have that book back if you've finished with it, won't you? As the two men leave, Sam enters the room. Sam: Sir? He follows her out. Hastings beach. Ian Lane stares into the distance, hearing sounds of gn and shouts. The beach is full of injured soldiers, with nurses helping them. An army officer with a clipboard takes down men's details. Officer: Take your unit number? More injured are being helped down from the boat. Covered bodies are carried off on stretchers and laid down on the beach. Officer: I need your name, rank, and regiment. Sam and Foyle drive up and park near the beach. They both get out of the car. Sam: I'll see if I can help, sir, if that's all right. Foyle: Go ahead. Sam heads towards a tent where men are being given instructors. A nurse stops her and gives her directions and she kneels down to speak to man with a bandaged head. Ian Lane is climbing down from his boat as another body is carried off. Foyle makes his way over to him. Ian: I didn't expect to see you here. Foyle: Well, they told me you were back. Ian: And you thought you'd come for David before he scarpered. Foyle: No, I've come to tell you that I know he had nothing to do with the mrder. Ian: We picked up fifteen of our boys. Fifteen. And there were thousands of them there. You've never seen anything like it. White sands stretching out for miles. Ships everywhere. Hundreds of them. Motorboats, trawlers. Picking up fifteen here and fifteen there. You know, we're gonna get the army out of there. We're gonna do it. There were bodies. You saw them on the beaches. And as we went in there, the Germans were coming after us. Stukas, Dorniers. I was lucky, though. There was some sort of refinery burning and the smoke, it protected us for a while. Foyle: Where is David? Ian: I told you I'd bring him back to you. He walks over to lift the covering blanket from one of the bodies, revealing it's his son. Foyle closes his eyes. Ian: Here he is. He waded in the water to help someone out. Sam arrives and stands by silently. Ian: He was helping them onto the boat. They're here. They made it home. But he took a bllet. It came out of I don't know where, and... He was as near to me as you are, and I saw the light go out of his eyes. But I said I'd bring him back, and I brought him back, even though it meant taking up space that could have been used by someone else. Here he is. He breaks down crying. Watching him, Sam sheds a tear of her own. Police interview room. Edith: dad? Foyle: Yes. I'm very sorry. Edith: But why? He weren't a soldier. The wr was nothing to do with him. Why did he have to go? Foyle: Well, he believed it was right. Edith, whatever Margaret Ellis has told you, there isn't going to be a German invasion now. Not today, not tomorrow, perhaps not ever. How did she frighten you into cutting the wires? Edith: She didn't. Foyle: What did she say was going to happen to you when the Germans came? Edith: Nothing. Foyle: She knew, didn't she? She knew that your grandmother is Jewish? Edith sits down. Edith: She said I wouldn't be allowed to work anymore. She said I'd be put in a camp. She starts to sob. Edith: That she wanted to look after me, but first, I'd have to prove myself. Do something to show I was on her side. I didn't think it'd matter that much. I knew it was wrong. I thought someone would find them and mend them. I didn't think I was being a traitor. I was just so scared. What will happen to me? Will they hang me? Will I go to prison? Foyle: No. Don't have a case to answer. You're free to go. She stands up to walk out, but stops beside him. Edith: Well, thank you. Foyle: It's okay. You're not going to forget David, are you? Edith: No. Foyle: 'Cause he was right, wasn't he? Edith: Yep. She leaves. Hotel dining room. Foyle: Well, you should understand, Stanley, that you could go to prison. Stanley: But I haven't done anything. Foyle: Well, yes, you have. You've lied to me, a police officer, and obstructed the course of justice. Stanley: No, I didn't. Foyle: You told me you hadn't touched anything when you went into your father's room, which isn't true, is it? You took your father's su1c1de note. Stanley: No. Foyle: There was pen and paper up there on the desk. And when I visited him in hospital, he was as surprised as I was that the note hadn't been found. What did you do with it? Stanley: I destroyed it. Foyle: Why? Stanley: Um, to, to protect him. Er, su1c1de's against the law. Foyle: Well, that's another lie, isn't it? I mean, what did it say? Stanley: I won't tell you. I can't. Hospital. Arthur is sitting up in bed doing a newspaper crossword as Foyle arrives. Foyle: Arthur. You feeling any better? Arthur: Yes. Thanks. Foyle: Arthur, I'm sorry to have to tell you that I'm here to arrest you for the mrder of your wife. Arthur: That's absurd! Foyle: Well, the husband who, er, loves his wife so much that he'd rather kll himself than live without her is a little way off the truth, isn't it? Arthur: It's true! Peggy was the backbone of my life. Foyle: Arthur. Arthur, you hated her. Your son knew it. Everyone knew it. Probably often dreamed of kll her, didn't you? But you never had the nerve, because everyone also knew that you were terrified of her. And, er, as the coward at the White Feather, you rather resented being something of a local joke until, of course, you began to believe that the world was about to change. Arthur: What do you mean? Foyle: That a nzi invasion of England would cause so very much disruption that there'd be no effective police force and no law, as such. There'd be no reason and nobody to investigate a, an insignificant little mrder at a countryside hotel. Spencer believed in the invasion, your wife believed in the invasion, and, ironically, as it turned out, she convinced you. And, um, it was the, er, night of Spencer's talk, wasn't it, that Stanley told you about the gn, didn't he? Flashback to their earlier conversation. Stanley: I was in room six just now, Mr Woolton's room. Arthur: What were you doing there? Stanley: Guess what I found. Arthur: What? What did you find? Tell me. Foyle: You thought you could make it look as if Spencer was the actual target, and your wife had been ht accidentally, which is why you arranged for it to happen in the dark, by leaving all the lights on in all the rooms as you turned down the beds, which overloaded the fuse box. But then you had to be sure that you could actually ht your wife and not Spencer. Flashback to Spencer making his speech. Spencer: I take no pleasure in so many young lives being sacrificed... Foyle (voiceover): Spencer said that during his speech, you were fiddling with your pipe, but, you see, um, Stanley told me that you hardly ever smoked. Flashback to Foyle sniffing the pipe. Foyle: It was, er, potassium nitrate that you used in the pipe, saltpetre, which is used, of course, in gn, but it's also used to cure meat, which is why you had a supply of it in the hotel. And it acted as an oxidizing agent, and it added to the tobacco and made it glow. Flashback to Arthur striking a match to light his pipe. Foyle (voiceover): You lit the pipe while Spencer was making his speech. Spencer: I take no pleasure in so many young lives being sacrificed on the altar of politics. The British government has misled us long enough. The fuse blows and the lights go out. Spencer: What's going on? Margaret: Oh, I'm so sorry, everyone. It's a fuse. Do sit down. Arthur? Arthur places his pipe in the ashtray. The bowl is glowing faintly. Foyle (voiceover): And when the lights went out, you put it directly in front of Margaret so you could use the glow as the target. Arthur sh*t Margaret as the group scream. Foyle (voiceover): You got rid of the gn as quickly as you could. It wasn't yours anyway. And after that, you were biding your time until... Arthur: The invasion. But it never came. Flashback to Stanley in the dining room. Stanley: I don't know why you're kidding yourselves. The Jewish plot? Everyone knows it's not true. Arthur: Stanley. Stanley: No, Dad. I'm fed up with it. I'm fed up with the lot of them. If the Germans were going to invde, they'd have been here days ago. Foyle: No invasion, and you panicked. You were going to be found out after all, and you decided to take the easy way out. Arthur: Yes. I wanted to kll myself. Foyle: And Stanley destroyed your su1c1de note, understandably. Fascist for a mother, kller for a father. Not shining examples of parental guidance. No wonder he was reading Freud. Arthur: What will happen to me? Foyle: You'll be tried for mrder, Arthur. He stands up to leave. Arthur: I loathed her, you know. And the scum she brought to the hotel. Foyle: Didn't give you the right to kll her. Arthur: Please tell Stanley I'm sorry. Tell him... I wish I'd been a better father. Foyle: I think he knows. Outside Foyle's office. Milner knocks on the door. Foyle (through the door): Yes. Milner enters the room. Foyle: Milner, sit down. Milner: Congratulations on the arrest. Ellis has signed a full confession, so I suppose that's that. Foyle: Why didn't you, er, tell me about your association with Spencer? Milner: I told you we'd met. Foyle: Well, you told me you'd wandered into one of his meetings. You didn't tell me you then went and had dinner with him. Milner: I didn't think it was relevant. Foyle: Principal suspect in a mrder inquiry, of course it was relevant. Milner: He didn't commit the mrder. Foyle: Well, we didn't know that then. In your notes about him, there's no mention of his arrest for embezzlement. Was that irrelevant, too? Milner: He was acquitted. Foyle: That's by the way. But more than this, more even than your apology to him in front of me, and something that I take to be a personal betrayal, is that you talked to him about me. He knew I had a son in the RAF, and he could have only got that from you, isn't that right? Milner: I did speak to him, yes. And I'm sorry if I betrayed any confidences. But I never said anything lacking in respect. Foyle: Well, speaking to him at all, Milner, was a lack of respect and a lack of judgment. I'm astonished you can't see beyond the front of these people. Do you really believe what these people, Spencer and the Friday Club, have to say? Milner: No! You don't have any idea what's it's been like since Norway, how I feel. I'm not asking for any special favours, and I, I don't want your sympathy. But I don't understand why it happened, and I don't understand what it was for. At least Spencer made me feel like he was on my side and that I'm not to blame for it all. Foyle: He had a reason. There was a reason, Milner. Milner: What do you mean? I don't agree with his views, but Guy Spencer is a good man. Foyle: Milner, I'm sorry to have to disillusion you, but... He holds up the book Spencer gave Milner. Foyle: This the book he lent you? "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. How the Jews plan to overthrow Christianity and conquer the world." Have you read it? Milner: No. Foyle: Are you antisemitic? Milner: No! Foyle: Is htler right doing what he's doing to the Jews? Milner: No! You don't understand. I just wanted the facts. Foyle: Spencer gave them to you? There's a moment of silence, then Foyle sits forward. Foyle: While he was at the hotel, Spencer took possession of a letter smuggled out of Whitehall and given to him by a traitor, Rosemary Harwood, and given to him in the hope that he'd pass it on to the enemy. After the mrder, Spencer was trapped. He had the letter, but he didn't know what to do with it. Foyle opens the book, revealing a slit in the endpaper where the letter has been tucked in to conceal it. Foyle: He gave it to you because you were the one person at the hotel we wouldn't dream of searching. After the investigation, you'd send it back to him, and he'd pass it on to the Germans. Milner: Do you want my resignation? Foyle: No, I don't want your resignation. That's the last thing I want. I can't do this bloody godforsaken job on my own. What I want is to forget all of this happened and, more importantly, for you, starting now, to be with me one hundred percent. In spite of whatever problems you're going through, it's important that you and me, and Sam, are able to trust each other and we're on the same side. Is that understood? Milner: Yes, sir. Understood. Foyle: Good. He shakes hands with Milner. Foyle: That's all. Government building. Rosemary Harwood is being escorted by a pair of military police. London street. Guy Spencer is being taken out of a building handcuffs. Foyle watches as he's loaded into the back of a police van. Foyle house. The radio is on in the background as Foyle pours himself a cup of tea. Radio: We've known them and laughed at them, these fussy little steamers, all our lives. We've called them the "shilling sicks." We've watched them load and unload their crowds of holiday passengers, the gents full of high spirits and bottled beer, the ladies eating pork pies, the children sticky with peppermint rock. Foyle turns his wireless set up and sits down to listen. Radio: But now, look. This little steamer, like all her brave and battered sisters, is immortal. A steamer sets off out to sea. Radio (voiceover): She'll go sailing proudly down the years in the epic of Dunkirk. Sam arrives outside Foyle's house to collect him. Radio (voiceover): And our great grandchildren, when they learn how we began this wr by snatching glory out of defeat and then swept on to victory... Funeral. Ian Lane stands by as the pallbearers carry David's coffin into the church. Radio (voiceover): ...may also learn how the little holiday steamers made an excursion to hell and came back glorious. Foyle approaches. Vicar (offscreen): I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth, and though after my skin, worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh, shall I see God. And I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold... Ian notices Foyle and steps towards him. Foyle: I've got a son the same age. Ian nods. Foyle takes his hat off and joins the mourners heading into the church.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "01x02 - The White Feather"}	foreverdreaming
Courtroom. David Beale is speaking to a panel of four men which includes Lawrence Gascoigne. David's wife Florence watches from the gallery. David: I don't believe in wr. I don't believe it solves anything. wr is evil. It's irrational. And if history has taught us anything, it's that wr only leads to more wr, more klling, bigger armies. And you want me to join up? What you're asking me to do is to take a lesson in mrder. That's really all it is. And I stand here today because that is a lesson I refuse to take. Lawrence: Thank you very much, Mr Beale. Very eloquently put. I understand you have quite a reputation as a writer. David: Yes. Lawrence: Unfortunately, it is not your literary abilities that we are here to examine. If you came upon a child injured in an air raid, what would you do? David: Sorry? Lawrence: Well, it's a fairly simple question. You come upon a young girl injured in an air raid. Would you help her? David: Yes. Of course. Lawrence: Even though that could be construed as helping the wr effort? David: No, that's not the same thing. Lawrence: Do you obey the blackout regulations? David: Yes. Lawrence: You have no moral objections? David: No. Why, why should I? Lawrence: Because you claim to object to the wr. Although it would now seem that you object to only some aspects of it. David: That's not true. Lawrence: One moment, Mr Beale. He turns to speak with the other men in low whispers. Lawrence: We are not satisfied that there is a conscientious objection within the meaning of the act in this case. David: Wait a minute. Lawrence: Your application is therefore refused. David: You haven't listened to a word I've said. Lawrence: Mr Beale... David: You'd made up your mind before I even arrived here. I mean, this is a travesty! Lawrence: Will you be quiet? David: No! I came here because I want to be heard! Lawrence: That is enough! David: I do not recognise the authority of this tribunal. Lawrence: Restrain him. David: This is exactly what I'm trying to say! A pair of police officers step forward to restrain David. Officer: Come on, you. David: Even if a country is at wr, an individual still has a right to choose! Lawrence: Officers, will you please arrest this man? Officer: Come on! David struggles against them as they haul him away. David: I have a right to be heard! He's dragged to the ground. Florence: David! Police station. The officers haul a still-struggling David up to the front desk. Bill Ferris is on duty behind it. Ferris: Who's this? Officer: Conscientious objector, sir. Beale. Arrested for breach of the peace and causing an affray. They bring him round and shove him up against the mesh that Ferris stands behind. Ferris: A conchie, eh? Well, we have a special welcome for people like you. Police cell. David is crouched naked in the corner while a group of police officers spray him with a hose. Ferris: I had a brother wounded at Dunkirk! A lot of his mates didn't make it. Of course, if they was all like you, htler would already be here! Laughter from the policeman. Front desk. Florence Beale is waiting and turns as she sees Hugh Reid approaching. Florence: I'd like to see my husband. Hugh: Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs, um...? Ferris is sitting at a typewriter behind the desk. Ferris: Beale, sir. Florence: You have him in your cells. Hugh: Yes, I'm sure that's the case, but there are official visiting hours. Look, I'm just on my way home, or I'd take you down to see him myself, but he'll be all right. Why don't you come back in the morning? Police station stairs. One of the officers who arrested Beale is bringing a meal tray down. As he arrives in front of the cell, he sees David Beale's naked legs dangling above the floor. Officer 2: Bloody hell. He drops the tray and turns away to run for help. Officer 2: Sergeant! Sergeant Ferris! Two other officers stand outside the cell looking up at the hanging Beale. OPENING CREDITS Outside Hastings Town Hall. Men are working on taking down signs and removing railings. Raymond Brooks' car is parked in front of the building. Sam and Foyle drive past it and stop nearby. Foyle: This may take a while, Sam. Wait for me back at the station, hmm? Sam: Right, sir. Outside, Brooks is just getting out of his car as Lawrence Gascoigne walks past. Brooks: Lawrence, I've got an exercise planned for the defence volunteers. We'll be doing it out here. Lawrence: Well, keep it short. Brooks leans over to speak to his driver. Brooks: Wait for me here. Lawrence is heading into the building as Foyle walks up. Lawrence: Afternoon, Foyle. Foyle: Afternoon. They walk in together. Town hall. Lawrence and Foyle are listing to Brooks speak. Brooks: No, Mr Foyle. I'm sorry, but I don't agree. As I understand it, Hastings has been designated a nodal point, class A. Now, that means that we're expected to hold out for a full seven days in the event of a German invasion. CAPTION: JUNE 1940 Foyle: Yes, that's right. Brooks: All right. Now, I have 200 men under my command in the local defence volunteers. Are you saying I shouldn't let them know what's expected of them? Foyle: No, Mr Brooks. I'm saying that, er, we needn't be too specific about what may or may not happen. We can prepare for the worst without painting too vivid a picture of it. Brooks: Well, I'm sorry, but I disagree. Foyle: Preventing panic is a large part of our job. The railway stations, tnk traps, road signs coming down - people are obviously aware that something is happening. Lawrence: But we don't have to lay it on the line. I agree with Foyle. It's also getting rather late, and I think we've covered everything exhaustively. Brooks: Whatever you say. He goes to leave. Outside, a police officer is wearing a gas mask while a woman rolls bandages. Policeman: Liven up! Come on! Lie down! Lie down, he'll be here in a minute. Have you done that now? Brooks emerges from the building. Brooks: All right. Let's see what you've got. Inside, Lawrence and Foyle are walking down the stairs together. Lawrence: Raymond Brooks is a good man, but he feels left out this time round. He was in France last time, won the DSO at Ypres. That's the trouble with these wr heroes. They want to win this wr, too. Outside. Brooks is supervising the exercise. In front of his parked car, a nurse in a gas mask is leaning over a simulated casualty. Brooks: Excellent work. Well done. Um, I think you'd better move. His driver starts the car. Lawrence and Foyle emerge from the building, where the exercise is still going on. Foyle: Oh. What's going on here? Lawrence: That's Brooks for you. Gas attck rehearsal. Well, I daresay I'll see you in court. Good day. He walks off. Police station front desk. Ferris is at the typewriter. Sam and Milner walk out from the back offices. Sam: I say, Milner, how much longer do you think he's going to be? Milner: I don't know, but I'm going home. Sam: It's only an invasion committee. What have they got to talk about? Milner: The invasion. Sam: I wish the Germans would invde. Least I'd get some tea. Foyle arrives, heading into the back. Milner: Good evening, sir. I was just on my way home. Foyle: That's fine, Milner. Good night. He spots Sam. Foyle: You're still here? Sam: Er, You asked me to wait for you, sir. Foyle: Oh, did I? I need something out of the office, and we'll be off. They pass Hugh Reid in the corridor. Hugh: Christopher, we still on for tomorrow? Foyle: Yes, 11:30. Hugh: Good. Sam: Another committee? Foyle: Golf. Sam: Oh. Am I driving you home? Foyle: Er, no. I can't bear the thought of cooking for myself again. I'm, er, going to go to Carlo's, just around the corner from me. Sam: Oh, I've driven past there a couple of times. Er, I've often thought I might give it a try. Foyle: Ah. The two of them drive along a Hastings street. Sam: Where I'm staying, the landlady doesn't allow cooking after six o'clock. Foyle: Oh, doesn't she? Sam: What is the time, sir? Foyle: It's half past seven. Sam: Is it really, sir? Foyle looks amused. They pull up outside Carlo's Sam: Here we are. Foyle: Come on. He gets out of the car. Sam: Thank you very much, sir. That's very kind of you. She follows him out. As they enter the restaurant, the owner Carlo Lucciano looks up from behind the front desk. Foyle: Carlo? Carlo: Christopher. How are you? They shake hands. Foyle: I'm fine, thank you. Carlo: It's good to see you. Foyle: And you. Carlo: Thank you. You're not eating alone tonight? Foyle: Er, apparently not. No, this is my driver, Sam Stewart. Sam: Hello. Carlo: Hello. So they finally got you one, eh? Foyle: Yeah, finally. Carlo: Now, you look after him. He works too hard. Foyle: Okay. Carlo: What do you want to eat? Foyle: I'll have the lasagne. Carlo: Er, no, not the lasagne. Foyle: Not the lasagne? Carlo: No. Meat supplies aren't so good, and I know what went into it. Foyle: Oh, right. Carlo: I have some very nice pork arrostita with herbs and vegetables. Foyle: Fine. Sam: I'll have the same. Carlo: Good choice. Er, I'll get Tony to bring some chianti. Excuse me. Er, follow me. He takes them through to the tables in the back. Woman: Carlo, ciao. Carlo: Please, er, sit down. Foyle: Thank you. Carlo: I haven't seen, er, Andrew for quite a while. What have you done with him? Foyle: I haven't done anything with him. He's with the RAF. Carlo: A pilot? Foyle: Training. Carlo: Did he tell you? Foyle: Well, no, not until after he'd joined. Carlo: Hmm. Yeah, these young people. Where they are, what they're doing, they never tell you anything. He claps Foyle on the shoulder on his way out of the room. Sam: You must be very proud of him. Foyle: Of Andrew? Yes. Sam: I think it's jolly good that everyone does their bit. Foyle: Yes, I do, too. Sam: Where's he based? Foyle: Scotland. Sam: Oh. Poor him. I went to Edinburgh. Nearly died of cold. My father took me on an ecumenical tour. All I remember is lots of drunken old men drinking too much whiskey and arguing about the Book of Revelations. Tony Lucciano comes in with a jug of chianti Tony: Buona sera, signor Foyle. Foyle: Buona sera, Tony. Tony: Que Bella signora! He says something to Sam in Italian. Sam: I'm sorry? Tony starts pouring her a drink. Carlo arrives and flaps at him with a towel. Carlo: Tony, what the hell do you think you're doing? Ignore him. It's the only Italian he speaks, and he uses it on all the girls. Tony: Dad. Carlo: Eh? This is Sam Stewart, my driver. Tony: I haven't seen you here before. Sam: I haven't been here before. Tony: Well, I'm Antonio. Everyone calls me Tony. You haven't ordered the lasagne? Sam: No. Tony: Good. He heads back out. Foyle pours himself a drink. Foyle: He was, um, born in Bermondsey, and he's never been out the country. Sam giggles. Foyle raises his glass in a toast. Foyle: Here's how. They clink glasses. Gascoigne house. Eleven-year-old evacuee Joe hurries down the grand staircase, carrying an exercise book. He sees Lawrence and his daughter Susan in the front room and dashes off in the opposite direction, into Lawrence's study. He opens his exercise book and starts going through the drawers of the desk. As he writes something in the book, Lawrence's wife Emily appears in the doorway. Emily: What do you think you're doing? You know you're not allowed in here. As Joe hastily moves away, his notebook catches a vase of flowers and sends it crashing to the floor. Emily: Now look what you've done! Wretched boy! Joe runs off through the lounge where the rest of the family are sitting. Lawrence: Steady. He passes Emily outside the room. Emily: Don't run! Joe ignores her and runs on to a door leading out into the grounds. Emily: Oh! Joe heads away across the gravel, running at a slight crouch. Emily joins the others in the lounge. Emily: That child is quite ungovernable. Lawrence: What is it this time? Emily: He was in your study, going through your desk. Lawrence: Was he pilfering? Susan: Daddy! Emily: He's always poking and prying. Lawrence: It was a foolish idea having him here in the first place. Susan: Of course it was a foolish idea. It was my idea. Lawrence: I know you acted for the best, but you have to agree, Joe's been a disaster from the very start. Susan: No, I don't agree. Lawrence: Table manners out of the zoo. Susan: Well, you'll be glad to hear that he's going. Lawrence: Is he? Susan: His parents want him back. And it's not as if there've been any bmb in London. Lawrence stands up to head over to the sideboard. Lawrence: You didn't tell me the parents have been in touch. Emily: Yes. They telephoned this morning. Lawrence: Oh, that's good news. Susan: It's the only thing this family has done to help the wr effort, taking in an 11-year-old child, and you can't wait to see the back of him. Emily: Your father has done a great deal to help the wr effort. Susan: Well done, Daddy. I'm going to find Joe. She heads out of the room. Carlo's. Carlo is just escorting Sam and Foyle out. Carlo: Pleasure to meet you. Sam: You, too, sir. Carlo: Thank you. Eh, see you soon, Christopher. He shake hands with Foyle again. Foyle: I hope so. Carlo: Ciao. Foyle: Bye. As they leave, Tony hurries after them, carrying some flowers. Foyle and Sam head towards the car. Sam: Thank you, sir. Foyle: It's a pleasure. Sam: Shall I run you home? Tony opens the restaurant door behind them. Tony: Miss Stewart. These are for you. He gives her the flowers. Sam: Thank you. Tony: Look, I was wondering. This Friday... Sam: What? Tony: Would you like to come to the Palais? It's just I really want to go, but I've got no one to go with. Sam: I'd love to. Er, I love dancing. Tony: Would you? Sam: Yes. Tony: Well, that's great. Great. He heads back into the restaurant. Foyle: I'm going to walk home. Gascoigne house. Susan walks through the house to Joe's room, where he's lying underneath the bed in his pyjamas, wrapped in a blanket. Susan: Joe. She ducks down to join him. Susan: (What are you doing? Why aren't you in bed?) Joe: Go away. Susan: Joe, your father's coming for you. He's going to be here soon. He just thought you'd be safer here, that's all. Come on, Joe. Get into bed. Joe: No. Not until you've gone. Susan: All right. I'm going now. Sorry, Joe, I only wanted to help. She leaves the room. Joe grabs his notebook and begins to write. Night. Jack Winters approaches Carlo's and lets himself inside. He walks through into the back where Tony is sweeping the floor. Jack: Tony. Tony: Jack. Jack laughs. Tony: What are you doing here? Jack: Don't worry. I haven't done a bunk. They let us all out. Everyone with three months or less to serve. Seems they need the Borstal for all those fifth columnists running around the country. Yeah, they're filling it with Jerries and Jews. Hey, can I stay here? Tony: Um, I'll, I'll have to ask Dad. Jack: Tony, you'd be- Tony: I'm, I'm sure it'll be okay. Jack: You're a real mate, you know that? Tony: So, what are you going to do? Jack: Well, I might start by paying a visit to that bastard judge. First offense, and he had me birched and thrown into that hellhole. I've been thinking about him a lot. Tony: What'll you do to him? Jack: I'll think of something. Can I have a drink? Tony: Yeah. Yeah, of course, yeah. Jack: And something to eat? I'm starved. He sits down at a table. Golf course. Hugh holds the flag while Foyle takes a putt. Foyle: D'you know, the more I play this game, the worse I seem to get? Hugh: Yes, it's probably your age. Foyle: Thank you. He takes another sht. Foyle: Downhill putts. Go on forever. Least I managed to thrash Andrew the last time I played him. His third sht finally goes in. Foyle: Better. Hugh: How is he? Foyle: Well... Hugh knocks his own ball in and retrieves Foyles to hand back to him. Foyle: I haven't heard from him, so he obviously doesn't need any money. The two of them walk across the golf course together. Hugh: Actually, Christopher, there was an ulterior motive, inviting you out here. Foyle: Well, there always is, Hugh. Hugh: Yes. I wanted to talk to you about that man who died in custody. I realise this probably isn't the place, but, um, well, I thought it better to do it outside the station. Foyle: It was, um, su1c1de, wasn't it? Hugh: Yes. Well, at least everything points to that. He hanged himself. Name of Beale. David Beale. Conscientious objector. He'd just had his application turned down, so I suppose that could have been the reason. Anyway, I've spoken to all the officers on duty that night, and they're all very unforthcoming. He sets down his golf ball to take a sht at the next hole. Hugh: They're backing one other up to the hilt. Foyle: Probably means they're lying. Hugh takes a sht. Foyle: sht. Hugh: Yes. Well, that's what I'm afraid of. But I don't want to push too hard, whereas, um, well, if you come in from the outside. Foyle: See what I can do. He takes his own sht, and looks disappointed. Foyle: Hmm. Hugh: Ah, sorry. Bad time to bring it up. Foyle: Hmph. A busy farm with lots of people at work. Theo Howard strides through and knocks on the door of one of the buildings. Dining room, inside. Theo: I came as soon as I heard. Florence Beale is sitting at the table. Florence: There's nothing you could have done, Theo. There was nothing any of us could do. Theo: I'm so sorry. I should have been here. Florence: You know what David was like. She stands up and heads through into the kitchen. Florence: How's the book going? Theo: Who was the head of the tribunal? Florence: Lawrence Gascoigne. Why do you want to know? Theo: I'd like to meet him. Florence: Why? It wouldn't do any good. Theo: He kills David, and we do nothing? Because we're pacifists. That's what we do. Florence: There's nothing we can do. Theo: I wonder. Foyle's office. Foyle: David Beale, taken into custody a week ago. Milner: Yes, I heard. He died in his cell. Foyle: Duty officer was a man called Ferris. There were at least three other men on that night. A few discreet enquiries. Keep it informal. Milner: Sir. Foyle: And a bit more about Beale himself, maybe? His wife, background, that sort of thing. Milner: Right-o. Foyle: Good. Thank you. Gascoigne house, night. Joe lies on the floor under his bed, scribbling away at a drawing in his notebook. Main bedroom. Lawrence sits up in bed and turns a lamp on. Lawrence: There's somebody downstairs. Emily (blearily): What time is it? Lawrence: Erm, quarter past one. Oh, it's probably Joe again. Wait here. He gets out of bed. In his bedroom, Joe is still working on his drawing. Staircase. The lights go on Lawrence and makes his way down. Main bedroom. Emily sits up in bed, chilled, and wraps herself in the covers. Joe's bedroom. He's still drawing. Then he hears the sound of glass smashing and moves to get up. Main bedroom. Emily: Lawrence? Joe dashes out of his bedroom. Staircase. Emily hurries down the stairs, followed by Susan. Joe watches from up above. Emily: Lawrence? Susan: Daddy, what is it? Daddy, what's going on? They hurry to join Lawrence where he's standing in front of a big window, the curtains partially opened. Lawrence: There was someone outside, and he threw something through the window. He stoops to pick it up from the floor. Emily: A note. Lawrence opens it out to read, then shows it to the two women. There are words cut out from a newspaper pasted on. Emily: "You, too, will receive justice"? Lawrence? Joe is still watching from up above. Gascoigne estate, day. Joe runs around the house to peer in through the window and see what's going on in the front room. Foyle is there along with Lawrence and Emily. Lawrence: It's probably just nonsense, but Emily insisted. Foyle: Get anything like this before? Lawrence: Every judge gets thrat from time to time. Normally, it's just an outburst in the dock. Emily: This is quite different. Foyle: Well, it's odd in that it's, um, certainly a very considered thrat, but if they really wanted to harm you, why are they telling you about it? Lawrence: Quite. A brick through a window. Cut-out letters. It's really rather crude. Foyle: And neither of you heard anything? Emily: I was asleep. I suddenly woke up. I, I was shivering. It was terribly cold. I don't know why. Foyle: Could this be, er, related to your work, do you think? Lawrence: Not really. The last couple of months, I've been dealing with civil matters mainly. Requisitions, conscientious objectors, usual county court work. Foyle: David Beale was one of yours, wasn't he? Lawrence: Beale? Oh, yes. Of course, I can't comment on past cases. Foyle: No, of course not. Right. They all move to leave the room. Foyle: Beautiful house, Mrs Gascoigne. Outside, Joe hurries away from the window. Emily (voiceover): Thank you. I was born here. It's been in my family for generations. Lawrence (voiceover): It's a rambling place. In fact, we only use half of it. Front hall. Lawrence: Sometimes we talk about moving somewhere a bit more manageable. Emily: Of course, I would never do that. This is my home. This is where I belong. Outside, Joe hurries up a set of steps. Sam is standing waiting by the car. Joe: Who are you? Sam: I'm Sam. Joe: That's a man's name. Sam: Well, it, it's short for Samantha. Who are you? And what are you doing? Joe: Taking your number plate. He peers into the car through the rolled-down window. Foyle approaches from behind him. Sam: I'd watch out if I were you. There's a policeman standing behind you. Joe turns around, sees Foyle and runs away. Foyle: Who was that? Sam: I don't know, but he's got our number. She gets into the car. The two of them are driving along. Sam: Poison-pen letter? Foyle: Well, not exactly. It wasn't written, was it? The words were cut out of magazines and newspapers. Sam: Perhaps you could trace them, see which papers they came from. That might tell you something about the person who sent them. Foyle: Well, that had occurred to me, you know. She chuckles a little. Sam: Sorry. As the car drives onward, Peter Buckingham darts across the road behind it. He stops next to a tree to take a handwritten letter out of an envelope and look at it for a moment. Then he hurries on through the trees. Foyle's office. Foyle enters, followed by Milner. Milner: There were four officers on duty the night that Beale died. I've talked to them all informally. They could all be involved, but I think William Ferris is the one you should see. The men are a bit in awe of him. And he has a brother, wounded at Dunkirk. I thought it might be relevant, Beale being a conscientious objector. Foyle: Hmm, no, good point. Milner: One other thing, sir. I spoke to the medical officer who examined Beale, and apparently his hair was wet and his clothes were damp, as if he'd showered and then got dressed in a hurry. And his shirt buttons were done up the wrong way. Foyle: Get onto this, would you? Delivered by brick through the window of a judge called Lawrence Gascoigne last night. He hands the note to Milner. Milner: He was on Beale's tribunal. Foyle: And if you don't know what to do with it, ask Sam. Beale's cell. Foyle looks around. As he emerges from the cell, he sees the hose mounted on the wall outside. He touches the nozzle to see if it's wet. Interview room. Ferris is sitting at the desk. Foyle enters. Ferris: Permission to smoke, sir? Foyle: Yeah, go ahead. You understand why I'm here? Ferris: Look, sir, if it's about what happened, I had nothing to do with that. He came in, got into a funk, and he hanged himself. Foyle: Why'd he do that, do you think? Ferris: Maybe he was scared of the dark. Foyle: Well, I can't put that in the report, you see, and that's what all this is about, reports. You see, a man dies in police custody, we've got to investigate, even a man like Beale. This is a waste of my time, it's a waste of your time, but- Ferris: You don't like conchies? Foyle sits down. Foyle: I've got a lad in the RAF. I've got a sergeant who lost a leg at Trondheim. Ferris: My brother was wounded at Dunkirk. Foyle: Well, there you are, then. Is he all right? Ferris: Can't wait to get back out again. Foyle: Hmm. Ferris: Look, you want to know what happened, off the record? Foyle: See, off the record, I think I probably know. I just need a few details, fill in the blanks. For example, was it you who dressed him again after he was found? Ferris: Yeah, it was me. How'd you know? Foyle: It's quite difficult dressing a dad man. I mean, the buttons were done up wrong, and his hair was wet. Was that because, um, you sprayed him down with that hose? Ferris: Look, sir, it was just a joke. Foyle: Yeah, yeah. But your idea, though? Ferris: Yeah, but I didn't know he was going to top himself. Foyle: Not that it's any great loss. Ferris: I'm with you on that one, sir. One dad conchie. Who cares? Foyle: Yeah. He starts writing. Ferris: What are you going to put in your report? Foyle: Well, I thought I'd start with your arrest for aggravated asault, which resulted in this man's su1c1de. Ferris: What? Foyle: And finish off with, er, your dismissal from the police force. Gascoigne house. Susan hurries down the stairs. Checking around to see if she's being observed, she leaves the house. Summerhouse. Peter Buckingham is pacing, waiting. He sighs. Susan makes her way over to the summerhouse and lets herself in. Peter whirls around at the sound of the door. Peter: So you got my note. Susan: You shouldn't be here. Peter: You mean I should have used the tradesman's entrance? Susan: I told you what would happen if my father found you here again, and he did find you here. And now he's absolutely forbidden me to see you again. Peter: He found me here because I can't bear not being with you. Susan: And now we won't be able to see each other anymore. Peter: Well, why do you listen to him? Your father's a bloody snob! Everything's changing. Susan: I know that. Peter: You told me you love me. Susan: I do, but if he found you here again, there's no telling what he would do. Peter: What have you got to lose? You don't need a house that's too big for you, a life that belongs to last century. You're not happy here. Susan: Please, Peter- Peter: I don't understand you. I would give everything, everything, just to be with you. Why can't you feel the same way? He leaves the summerhouse. Outside, Joe is up a tree with his notebook. He watches Peter go and write something down. Milner's office. He carefully removes one of the cut-out words from the note Foyle gave him and compares it against a newspaper. Then he writes something down. Farm. Foyle and Sam drive up along a rough dirt track. They park and both get out. A man, Mr Szyszko, hails them as they approach. Foyle: Morning. I'm looking for Mrs Beale? Man: Ah. He says something indistinct and points Foyle through a doorway. Sam lingers outside to watch another man sorting vegetables as Szyszko and Foyle head inside. Schoolroom. Florence Beale is talking to a group of children who are doing some painting. Florence: When you finish that, you just fold it over, and you have your butterfly. Szyszko stops in front of the doorway and points Foyle through it. Foyle: Mrs Beale? Florence: Yes? Foyle: Er, my name's Foyle. I'm a police officer. I wondered if I might have a word with you. Florence: Go on. I don't think the children will mind, and Mr Szyszko doesn't speak any English. Foyle: I'd like to speak to you about your husband. Florence: Mr Szyszko. She says something to him in Polish and he nods. Szyszko stays with the children while Florence heads out and Florence follows. Foyle (voiceover): You certainly seem to have quite a community here. Florence (voiceover): We've become quite a centre. The two of them walk through the grounds outside together. Florence: Full of refugees of one sort or another. Friends come with their children, pacifists. Mr Szyszko is Polish. You wanted to talk to me about my husband. They stop in the entrance to a barn. Foyle: Yes. I wanted you to know that I'm very sorry about what happened. It was wrong. I can promise you that the people involved will be punished, and if it's any consolation, nothing like this will happen again. She raises her voice to call over Foyle's shoulder. Florence: Theo? This is Mr Foyle. He's a policeman. Theo is pitchforking hay in the back. Florence: Theo was at Cambridge with David, and when we were married, he was our best man. Theo: What is it this time? Florence: Mr Foyle has come to apologise. Foyle: You mean to assuage his guilt. Foyle: I'm not here out of guilt, Mr Howard. I'm here because I feel it's the right thing to do. Theo: David was a writer, you know? A promising one. He was published in Horizon. Eliot read his work and praised it. Then, I don't suppose you know much about poetry. Foyle: I've read, er, "Ash Wednesday", "The Hollow Men." Florence: David thought the world of him. Theo: Why don't you investigate Lawrence Gascoigne? Foyle: Why would I do that? Theo: I've been looking at his record. He's presided over five tribunals in the last month. He dismissed four of the appeals, including David. But there was one, just one hearing, where he turned a strangely sympathetic ear. Stephen Brooks. He's now an official conscientious objector, a conchie. He's never been here. None of us have ever met him. And none of us ever will because now he's working in Dorset with the Forestry Commission, nicely out of harm's way. Foyle: And? Theo: Stephen's father is Raymond Brooks. I think you know him - rich, influential. Gascoigne certainly does. They club together. Foyle: Well, whatever it is you're trying to suggest, there's, um- you don't have any evidence for. Theo: What evidence do I need? David said from the start that Gascoigne was corrupt, and now David's dad, and you're here, trying to keep a lid on things. Florence: Theo, that's not fair. Foyle: "You, too, will receive justice"? Theo: What does that mean? Foyle: It was a note wrapped around the brick that went through Gascoigne's window last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that, do you? Theo: No. But I'll tell you something, someone's got the right idea. Sam and Foyle drive away from the farm. Florence watches them go. Woman: Hey, Florence. Farmhouse dining room. Florence: You shouldn't have said that. Theo: "Do not go into that dark place. Fear it. Fear the embrace that awaits you, for you must know it touches once and then will not let go." Florence: David wrote that. Theo: The wr. All the hatred. I thought I could escape it with you, in this house. Florence: You can. We have to stand by what we believe. Milner's office. He continues working on the note. Once all the pasted words have been removed, he lifts the paper up. There's a transparent patch like a grease stain. Foyle's office. Milner: The individual words aren't going to tell us a great deal, but I've managed to identify a couple of them. Illustrated and the Daily Express. I'd say that's the work of someone not out of the top drawer. Foyle: Or maybe they want us to think that. What's this? He indicates the stain. Milner: Machine oil, I think. And there are traces of it on some of the cuttings, too. Foyle: That's a bit clumsy. Milner: A brick through the window. It's not particularly subtle. Foyle checks his watch. Foyle: Right. Leave this with me, and you get off home, yeah? Milner: Thank you, sir. Street. Milner makes his way back home, walking with a cane. Milner kitchen. Jane is taking something out of the oven. Front hall. As Milner comes in, he sees a suitcase standing in the hall. He heads through into the kitchen. Milner: Hello. Jane: I didn't hear you come in. He kisses her on the cheek. Jane: Not now, Paul. Got the oven on and the table to lay. There's a beer in the cupboard if you want. Milner: Thank you. Jane: They've finished taking down the signposts, and the postman delivered a whole lot of these leaflets this morning. She holds up a batch of leaflets to show him. Milner: What do they say? Jane continues to bustle about setting the table. Jane: Hide your food. Hide your maps. Lock up your bicycles. Don't leave anything for the Germans. Makes you nervous to go out. Nothing is the same anymore. Milner: I saw your case in the hall. Jane: I thought I'd go away for a while. Milner: Oh? Jane: Kate's. Milner: Wales? Jane: Ever since Owen was called up, she's finding it hard to cope. It'll do me good to get away for a while. Milner: What about me? Jane: There's plenty of food in the pantry. I'll only be gone a couple of weeks. You don't mind, do you? Milner: I suppose not. When are you leaving? Jane: There's a train at eleven. She sits down at the table, and Milner sits opposite her. Milner: This is all very sudden. Jane: Well, Kate needs me, and I don't want to hang around. Milner: I'll miss you. Jane: I'll write. She starts to eat. Police station staircase. Sam comes down the stairs. She's wearing a dress and has her hair down. Foyle spots her as he comes along the corridor. Foyle: Sam? Sam: Good evening, sir. Foyle: Well, you're looking, er... He smiles. Sam: You, you said you didn't need me this evening, so I changed in the lavatory. Foyle: Right. Sam: I'm going to a dance. Foyle: Oh, yes, with, um- Sam: Tony. Foyle: Mm. Sam: To be honest, he's not really my type, but, er, I thought, in the circumstances, I didn't want to let him down. Foyle: Well, you won't do that. Have a good time. She nods and walks off. Foyle raises his eyebrows to himself as he turns away. Foyle's office. He's still at work. He sits down to read a file on the tribunal of Stephen Brooks. Dance hall. A live band is playing an instrumental tune while couples dance. Peter Buckingham sits at one of the tables. Sam and Tony are among the dancing couples. Tony: You look great, out of uniform. Sam: Thank you. In the background, Jack Winters is just paying his fee to enter the hall. Tony: So, have you been driving for him long, then, Mr Foyle? Sam: Er, only a few months. Do you know him well? Tony: Not really. Dad made the cake for his wedding, that's how they met. Sam: That's nice. The song comes to an end and Sam and Tony join the applause for the band. Peter Buckingham stands up from his table. Tony: Do you want a drink? Sam: Yes. Thank you. He leads her off the dancefloor as a new song starts up. They sit down at one of the tables. There's a bit of an awkward silence. Tony: Dad came over about twenty years ago. Used to run his own bakery. Sam: Does he live over the restaurant? Tony: Yeah. He gets up at five every morning to bake his own bread. Sam laughs a little. Sam: Sounds like his hours are even worse than mine. Another lull in the conversation. Sam: Have you ever been to Italy? Tony: No. Dad's from Naples and one day I want to go. Maybe on my honeymoon. When, when I meet the right girl. More silence. Sam: You were going to get me a drink. Tony: I'll be, I'll be right back. He gets up. Peter is standing on the dancefloor when he spots Susan Gascoigne coming in. He waves to her and she approaches him with a smile. Peter: I was beginning to think you weren't coming. Susan: I wasn't going to. I shouldn't really be here, but... Peter: But what? Susan: But I am. So will you dance with me? They both laugh, and then begin to dance. Jack Winters makes his way through the crowd and cuts in on a dancing couple. Jack: Excuse me. Do you mind if I ask for a dance? Hey, sweetheart. Peter and Susan are still dancing. Peter: Relax. Susan: I am. Peter: No, you're not, you're scared. Susan: You don't- you don't understand my father. Sometimes I wish... Peter: What? Susan: Nothing. Tony brings a pair of pint classes over to Sam at the table. Tony: There you go. Sam: Thank you. Jack: Excuse me, miss. Jack breaks away from his dancing partner and walks up to Sam and Tony's table. Jack: Hello, hello. What's going on here? You didn't tell me that you were seeing a lady. Tony: Hello, Jack. This is Jack Winters. He's a mate of mine. Jack: You've been keeping secrets, and a very pretty one. Do you mind if I join you? Sam: As a matter of fact, I do. But thank you for asking. She gets up and heads back to the dance floor. Jack: So it's like that, then, is it? Tony: Come on, Jack. Chuck it. Jack: Yeah. See you later, Tony. We were going to meet up tonight, remember? Tony: Quiet. He rejoins Sam for another dance, Tony: Er, I, I'm sorry about that. Sam: Are you working tonight? Tony: No, no, no. It's just Jack. Forget it. Sam: All right. The band break into a more upbeat tune and the couples keep dancing. Gascoigne estate, night. A figure creeps through the grounds and into the summerhouse. Gloved hands wire the pin of a grenade to the doorhandle. The next day. A phone is heard ringing inside the house. Emily and Joe at the breakfast table in the conservatory. Joe is slurping tea from his mug. Emily: There's no need to make that noise. Joe! Susan is pouring tea nearby as Lawrence comes down the stairs to join them. Emily: Who was it on the telephone? Lawrence: He didn't say. Emily: Well, what did he want? Lawrence: He told me to go to the summerhouse. Susan: What? Lawrence: Said he'd left something for me in the summerhouse, and he rang off. He sits down at the table, looking puzzled. Emily: Isn't that rather strange? Lawrence: Of course it's strange. Susan: Well, aren't you going to see what it is? Lawrence: Not now, no. I'm having breakfast. Joe: I'll go. Lawrence: No, you won't. Thank you, Joe. Emily: Do as you're told. You're not to go in there. Police station. Sam comes rushing in and hurries through the Foyle's office, knocking on the open door. Sam: I'm sorry I'm late, sir. Foyle: What happened? Sam: I overslept. Foyle: Good time? Sam: Yes, I'm afraid I was out rather late last night. Won't happen again, sir. Foyle: Cup of tea? Sam: Mm-hmm. Gascoigne estate. Joe sneaks through the grounds, running past the window where the others are having breakfast. He reaches the summerhouse and looks around to make sure he's not being watched. Then he turns the handle and opens the door. The pin is pulled from the grenade. Closing the door behind him, Joe just has time to see the grenade before the summerhouse explodes. In the conservatory opposite, Susan sees the explsin from the window. Susan: Joe! The Gascoignes hurry out towards the summerhouse. Later. Joe's covered body is being taken out on a stretcher. Foyle and Sam are both inside the summerhouse. Foyle: Why don't you go back to the car? She nods and hurries away. Milner steps up and bends down to pick up the remains of the wire from the floor. Milner: This was tied to the door handle. The grenade. Open the door and, er... There's a moment of silence. Milner: At least he wouldn't have felt anything. Foyle: Well, some mercy in that, I suppose. Milner: This was meant for Gascoigne. Foyle turns to leave the summerhouse, and Milner follows him out. Sam stands near the parked police cars, watching Joe's body be loaded into the ambulance. She's crying quietly. Foyle (voiceover): Do all the family use the summer house? Conservatory. Lawrence leads the way up the steps, Foyle and Milner following. Lawrence: No, I had it built as a retreat. When I'm trying a particularly difficult case, I go there to think. I suppose that's why it was chosen. Emily is waiting for them at the top of the stairs. Emily: Joe should never have come into this house. Lawrence: That's true. I was against it from the start. Foyle: It's very commendable, taking in an evacuee, sir. Lawrence: Well, it was a good idea in principle, but, ha, as it's turned out- oh, it's a horrible business. I feel personally responsible. Milner: You mentioned that his father is coming today, sir. Lawrence: Yes. His name is Pearson. Eric Pearson. Foyle, I don't suppose you could meet him? I don't think I can face it. Foyle: Er, did Joe have his own room here? Lawrence: Oh, yes. Foyle: Would you mind if I saw it? Emily: Why? This has nothing to do with Joe. It was Lawrence who was the target. Foyle: Well, that's true, Mrs Gascoigne, but it was Joe who died. Lawrence: I'll take you there myself. Foyle: Thank you. Lawrence leads him and Milner up the stairs. Once they're gone, Emily starts to sob. Upstairs landing. Lawrence: This business of evacuees, thousands of children needlessly sent all over the country. It's been very badly handled. Foyle: Better than doing nothing at all. Joe's bedroom. Lawrence: Joe had never slept in a bed before he came here. He thought sheets were for dad people. Oh, God, I wish he'd never come. Foyle stoops down and picks up Joe's notebook from the floor beside the bed. Foyle: Did he have any friends? Lawrence: No, not that I know of. Oh, that's his exercise book. He carried it everywhere. Foyle opens it and sees pages of annotated drawings. Lawrence: He was eleven, but he had the level of a six-year-old. Foyle shows him one of the drawings. Foyle: I'd say that was you, wouldn't you? Mind if I keep this? Lawrence: Of course. Whatever you want. They head out of the room to go back downstairs. Foyle: Would you make a list of trials and tribunals you've presided over? Lawrence: Yes, of course. Milner: And, sir, is there anyone you can think of who might want to hurt you? Lawrence: No. Well... Milner: Yes? Lawrence: I did recently have a set-to with a man called Peter Buckingham. Oh, he wouldn't try anything like this. Milner: A set-to? Lawrence: Well, it's a very personal matter. He stops at the house's front door. Foyle: Well, a bmb in a summer house is a rather personal statement, wouldn't you say? Lawrence: Yes. Quite. Peter Buckingham was forcing his attentions on my daughter. He's a machine operator. He works at the factory. Milner: Which factory? Lawrence: Oh, it's next to the house on what used to be a farm. It's a plant, making munitions. Susan met this fellow in the village and began this- well, it was ridiculous. And in the end, I had to step in. Foyle: Did he thrat you? Lawrence: Not specifically. Foyle: Could he have been the man on the phone? Lawrence: I don't know. Foyle: Right. I'm going to put two or three men outside here, Mr Gascoigne, if that's all right. Lawrence: Is that necessary? Foyle: Er, well, they missed this time. They may try again. He leaves. Emily is arranging flowers in another room. Emily: I hate these people in here. Lawrence: We don't really have a choice. Emily: In my father's day, they'd never be allowed in the house. Outside, Foyle's car is leaving. Lawrence: Oh, that's exactly the point. In your father's day, they wouldn't have been allowed past the third footman. It was a different age, Emily. I wish you could see that. Hastings train station. Foyle waits on the platform as the train arrives. Eric Pearson gets off and starts to walk along the platform. Foyle: Excuse me. Mr Pearson? Pearson: Yeah? Foyle: I wonder if I might have a word with you. Pearson: Who are you? Foyle: Er, the name's Foyle. I'm a police officer. Pearson: Why? What's the matter? Something wrong with Joe? A room inside the railway station. Rain is pouring outside. Pearson: You know, I never wanted Joe to leave London. I never wanted him to go. But they said it would be better for him. They said there'd be air raids and there weren't enough shelters. And, you know, Mr Foyle, even the missis said he'd be safer in the country. She said all the boys and girls were going. She said he'd be safe. And I took him to the station myself. And you've never seen so many kids. You could hardly see the platforms. And all luggage everywhere, mothers crying. Little boys and girls, all with those labels round their necks, you know, all being packed off. Thunder rolls outside. Pearson: But Joe... Joe didn't want to go. Joe held onto my leg. And in the end, they took him away, and they packed him off in a carriage with hundreds of them. And walking home... That was the strange thing, Mr Foyle, because the streets were empty. Nobody laughing, nobody crying, nobody shouting, nobody kicking a ball. I've never heard anything like it before in my life, Mr Foyle. It was a city with no kids, but I didn't mind. Because they said he'd be safe, and that's all that mattered to me. You know, he was safe. And for months and months, I've been sitting there in London, and not a single bmb has fallen! And you're telling me now... That my son has been klled here, with strangers, because he just got in the way! He takes a few gasping breaths. Pearson: Now, where's this Gascoigne? I want to see him face to face. Where is he? Foyle: Mr Pearson, there is nothing you can do here. You should go back. Pearson: Yeah, no, no. No, Mr Foyle. I'm staying. And, er, I'm not leaving without my boy. Foyle: Right. We'll find you a room. But there's no point in confronting him with this. Pearson: I'm staying. Farm. Theo strides through a pigpen. Florence comes riding up on her bicycle. She calls out as she stops next the buildings. Florence: Theo! Theo is working on screwing together a wooden frame as Florence comes hurrying up. Florence: Theo. Where did you go last night? Theo: What? Florence: You went out. Where were you? Theo: Why? Florence: I've just come from the village, and they're saying that someone tried to kll Lawrence Gascoigne. Theo: What are you talking about? Why are you asking me? Florence: You know why. Theo: Do I? Florence, for God's sake, we've marched together. We've been to meetings. All my life, like you and David, I've been against klling. Now are you telling me-? Florence: I don't know. And after what you said... And you weren't here last night. Theo: You said someone tried to kll Lawrence Gascoigne. Did they succeed? Florence: No. Theo: Shame. Police station lobby. Tony is there, taking a few breaths to psych himself up. Sam comes through from the back. Sam: Tony? What are you doing here? Tony: Er, I had to see you again. Sam: Not here. Tony: I, I, I, I need to talk to you. Sam: You're going to get me sht. Tony: It's just... I had such a great night last night. And, and you enjoyed it, too? Sam: It was fun. Tony: Will you come out again tonight? Sam: Well, I- Tony: We, we can- we can go and have a drink, maybe. I, I really need to talk to you about something. Sam: Is it about your friend? Tony: No, no. It's nothing to do with that, but, um, it's important. Please? Sam: All right. Well, I, I finish at six, so I'll meet you outside. Tony: Six. Sam: Now, go. Go on. He leaves. Foyle's office. Foyle: Now we should put somebody inside Gascoigne's house, you know. Three men outside isn't enough. Milner: Who do you have in mind? Foyle: Well, um, having arrested four of our own men, we're a bit bloody short-staffed, aren't we? Milner: I could do it, sir. Foyle: Mm. Didn't like to ask. What about your wife? Milner: Oh, she's had to go to her sister's in Wales. Foyle: Right. Thank you. There's a knock on the door. Foyle: Yes? Sam comes in. Foyle: Sam, won't be a minute. Where have you put Pearson? Sam: He's in the Crescent, sir. Foyle: Good. And we must get round to these. He taps a stack of papers on the desk as he goes over to get his coat. Foyle: Do you recognise any of those names? Milner takes a look. Milner: No. Sam: What are these? Milner: Gascoigne's cases over the last six months. Sam: Jack Winters. I know him. I met him at the dance last night. Milner: Could be the same man. Gascoigne sent him down for burglary and asault. He was birched and given six months. Sam: Oh, he didn't mention any of that. Foyle: Well, he wouldn't, would he? You get over there. I'll make sure he knows. Milner: Sir. Foyle: Sam? He heads out of the office, Sam following. Sam and Foyle are driving along a rough dirt track. Sam: Yes, he turned up at the dance. I can't say I took a great shine to him. To be honest, I think Tony's a little in awe of him. Foyle: Did he say anything at all? Sam: No, sir. Foyle: Oh. Sam: Sorry. Do you want me to ask Tony about him? Foyle: No, better not. There's a warning sign beside the road that reads 'No members of the public permitted beyond this point'. A soldier approaches their car. Sam: Ah. I think this is as far as we can go. Foyle: Looks like it. Gascoigne house. Lawrence meets Milner at the front door. Lawrence: Ah, sergeant. Now, I can't pretend I'm entirely happy with this situation, but I suppose needs must. Milner: That's what Mr Foyle said, sir. Lawrence: Are you armed? Milner: Yes. Lawrence: Well, try to think of yourself as a house guest while you're here. I don't know how long this is supposed to go on, but still. Oh, this is my daughter Susan. She's sitting nearby. Lawrence: Susan, this is Sergeant Milner. Milner: Good day, miss. She stands up. Susan: Good afternoon. Lawrence: Perhaps you could show him to his room. Susan: Yes, of course. It's through here. Factory grounds. A soldier opens the gate. The foreman, Hawkins, stands on the other side. Hawkins: Can I help you? Foyle: I hope so. Who are you? Hawkins: I'm the foreman here, Hawkins. Foyle: I'm a police officer. I'd like to speak to a Peter Buckingham who I understand works here. Hawkins: Er, I'm afraid I can't allow you in. Foyle: Why is that? Hawkins: We work for the wr Office. If you want to come in here, you'll have to talk to them. Foyle: Right. Er, what is it you do here? Hawkins: Produce munitions. Foyle: Right. Er, is Peter Buckingham here? Hawkins: You can talk to him if you like, but you can't go into the factory, and he can't discuss his work. Just wait here, and I'll get him. Foyle: Right. Later. Peter has arrived. They stand just inside the gates with Hawkins waiting nearby. Peter: It seems you know everything. Not that it's any of your business, like. Well, I met Susan in the village. I didn't know who she was then. We began to see each other. Foyle: Where did you see each other? Peter: We went walking. In the fields and woods and that. But that wasn't enough for me, so I started coming to the house. There's this summerhouse that- Foyle: Ah, you went there, did you? Peter: Lots of times. Till we went there once too often, and her dad turned up. He saw us together, and that was it. Foyle: Been back to the summer house? Peter: No. No, er, I'm not seeing Susan anymore. Look. I never thrat Gascoigne. He thrat me. If he found me on his property again, it'd be the police, prison and God knows what. Now, is that all? I've got to get back to my work. Foyle: Yes, of course. What is it you do? Peter: I'm a machine operator. Foyle: Oh, right. Well, thanks for your time. Very pleased to meet you. He shakes hands with Peter. Peter: Right. Foyle heads back out, Hawkins closing the gates behind him. Foyle starts walking back to the car with Sam. Foyle: It's a bit odd, isn't it? Sam: What is, sir? Foyle: A metalworker, machine operator- with clean hands? Sam: Maybe he washed them. Foyle: Hmm, maybe. They're supposed to be making munitions here. Sam: Yes? Foyle: Well, would you want to transport explsives along tracks like these? Look at them. And metalworking, hardening steel, you'd need furnaces, lots of heat, wouldn't you? Sam: I suppose so. Foyle: Well... There's no chimneys. Sam turns to look back at the factory building as Foyle gets into the car. Gascoigne estate. Milner stands just outside the door, surveying the surrounding landscape. Susan comes out of the house behind him. Susan: Hello, Sergeant Milner. Milner: Miss Gascoigne. Susan Oh, please, you can call me Susan. Daddy doesn't like me smoking in the house. Actually, he doesn't like me smoking at all. You won't tell him, will you? Milner: No. Course not. She lights a cigarette. Susan: I can't stop thinking about poor Joe. Milner: Were you close to him? Susan: I tried to be, but he hated being here. You could see it in his eyes. The nzi were never the enemy as far as he was concerned. We were. Milner: I'm sure that's not true. Susan: I can understand it. Coming from the East End, this place must have seemed like another planet. Milner: It's a big house. Susan: We don't even use half of it. What's the point of having servant's quarters when you can hardly even afford servants? Milner: It was good of you, taking in an evacuee. Susan: Well, just for once, I was determined to have my own way. I went to the station, and there were all these children lined up, hundreds of them, all labelled with their suitcases. The good-looking ones went first, and then the strong ones who might be able to help around the house. Joe was one of the last, and I chose him because he reminded me of me. She's starting to tear up. Milner: Of you? Susan: Left out. I had all sorts of ideas, like he might be like the little brother that I never had. But it didn't work out like that. Lawrence (offscreen): Susan? Milner: Here, quick. He takes her cigarette. Lawrence appears in the doorway. Lawrence: Ah, there you are. Susan: We were just talking, Daddy. Milner: I hope you don't mind my smoking, sir. Lawrence: So long as you don't do it in the house. Come inside, Susan. Don't want you catching cold. As Susan follows him in she mouths a thank you to Milner. Carlo's. Foyle and Carlo are sitting at one of the tables. Carlo: How many years you been coming here now? Foyle: Too many. Carlo: I still remember the first day you came, you and Mrs Foyle. Foyle: Well, we weren't actually married then. And do you know... think that was the worst meal we ever had. Carlo: The chef was sick. Foyle: I'm surprised we ever came back, you know? Carlo: And the world's not the same anymore. Mussolini. He and htler. He's crazy enough to declare wr. It could happen any day now, and what then, eh? What happens to my family and me? Foyle: Italy might still stay neutral. Carlo: I don't think so. Everyone's afraid. You know, there's a restaurant called the Casa Alberta. They're changing their name to Le Chateau d'Or. Suddenly it's French. New name, new menu, same owner. Foyle: You might have to do the same. Carlo: And then there's Tony. Oh, he's a good boy. He works hard. But his heart, hmm? It's not in the business. I worry about him. Foyle: The name, um, Jack winters mean anything to you? Carlo: Yeah. That's a friend of his. Jack Winters. The two of them were at school together. I don't like him. He smiles, he's very charming, but he's no good. Foyle: He was at Borstal. Carlo: You think he's mixed up in something? Foyle: Probably not. Carlo: You'd tell me if Tony was getting himself involved. Foyle: Well, the only thing, um, Tony's involved with at the moment, Carlo, is my driver. Towpath. Tony and Sam, now in civilian dress, are walking beside the river. Tony: Thanks for coming out again. Sam: It's a pleasure. Tony: You see, there's something I wanted to talk to you about. Sam: Is it about Jack? Tony: No. No, no. He's all right, Jack. I, I, I mean, I'm sorry about him turning up the other night. No, no. I wanted to talk about you and me. Sam: Oh. Really? Tony: Look, Sam. The thing is... I've joined up. Any day now, I'm going to be in uniform. Sam: That's wonderful, Tony. Tony: I'm not sure Dad's going to see it that way. But I can't spend the wr as a waiter in a little restaurant. Sam: When are you going to tell him? Tony: I don't know. Soon. But the thing is... When I think about fighting and shting and all the rest of it, I really get the heavies, you know? I'm scared. And the other thing is- look, I shouldn't be saying this. I've never really had a girlfriend, not a real one, and I wish... It would be easier if there was someone I could write to. Someone who could write to me. You know? I shouldn't ask. I, I hardly know you. Sam: Course I'll write to you, Tony. I'll even send you cigarettes and socks if you like. Tony: You'll be my girl back home? Sam: Keep the home fires burning. She gives him a brief kiss. A grand office building. Foyle comes in and heads up the stairs. Brooks (voiceover): Mr Foyle, how nice to see you. A woman holds the door open to let Foyle into a large, spacious office. Brooks: Do come in. Has somebody offered you a cup of tea? Foyle: Er, not for me, thanks. Brooks: That'll be all, then, Evelyn. Make sure we're not disturbed. Evelyn: Yes, sir. She leaves. Brooks: Please, sit down. Foyle takes a seat. Foyle: You certainly have, um, extensive business interests, Mr Brooks. Brooks: Well, I was lucky. My father owned tin mines. Now we make everything from tin cans to shell cases, and I think we're going to be making an awful lot more of those in the days to come. Foyle: In your factories in Southampton? Brooks: Yes, yes. That's right. Investigating me? Foyle: Er, no, not at all. This is, er, something involving Lawrence Gascoigne. Um, you have a close association with him. Brooks: Yes. We've been working together on the defence committee. Foyle: But beyond that, you, er, you have other connections. Brooks: What makes you say that? Foyle gives a slight shrug. Brooks: Yes, We see each other from time to time socially. I've been to his house. Foyle: Just recently? Brooks: Yeah. Confidential matter. Foyle: To do with your son? Brooks turns and paces away from him. Foyle: Er, you have a son, Stephen, er, who's in Dorset, is that right? Brooks: I prefer not to speak about Stephen. We're not on speaking terms. I'm not very proud of what I did, Mr Foyle, but, yes, I did go and see Lawrence Gascoigne, and I'm gonna tell you why. You may know that I, I fought in the wr. I came out of it unscathed. Foyle: And decorated? Brooks: That, too. And when this second wr came, I had every expectation that Stephen would do the same, but I was wrong. He told me he had no intention of fighting. He came out with some half-baked nonsense about peace and democracy and civilised values, as if he couldn't see that the nzi were going to burn and plunder their way across Europe if someone didn't stand in their way. Well, we had a bitter argument. To be honest, we've hardly spoken since. Anyway, the next thing I heard was that Stephen was going up before a tribunal as a self-professed conscientious objector. And by coincidence, the judge was going to be Lawrence Gascoigne. So I decided to go and see him. I wanted to tell him what I believed and what I believe to this day. That Stephen was afraid to fight. That he was no more a conscientious objector than you or I. You may say that what I did was wrong. It was a matter of pride for me. Foyle: And so what happened? Brooks: Gascoigne barely heard me out. I'd hardly mentioned Stephen's name before the conversation was over. He was very angry that I'd gone there at all. Foyle: And so were you surprised that your son's name was added to the register of conscientious objectors? Brooks: No, I wasn't surprised. I suppose Gascoigne did what he had to do, but, er... I no longer have anything to do with Stephen. As far as I'm concerned, I no longer have a son. Farm building. Theo opens a box and pulls out a revolver. He tucks it into his waistband. Florence (offscreen): Theo? Florence arrives at the doorway of the building where Theo is crouched. Florence: Theo. What are you doing? He stands up to leave. Florence: Where are you going? Theo: I'm sorry. I can't explain. There's something I have to do. Florence: What? Theo: Florence, forgive me. I'll be back soon. He strides away. She looks back into the building he came from. Foyle's office. Foyle is on the phone. Foyle: It's just called the factory. I don't know anything more about it except they claim to have some link with the wr Office. Hugh Reid enters the room. Foyle: I... Let me know. Thank you. He hangs up the phone. Foyle: Anything? Hugh: No. But I do know that this man Peter Buckingham is no metalworker. He's a carpenter by trade. Foyle: This is a notebook kept by the, um, boy that the Gascoignes took in, the evacuee. Fancies himself as a bit of a policeman, I think. This, what do you make of it? He hands the book across to Hugh. Writing at the top of the page reads 'FAC RAY 345 PAY SOOO'. Hugh: "Facray". He shakes his head. Foyle: Could he have meant "factory", do you think? The factory was next door, and it's shrouded in secrecy. The gates are bolted. Just the sort of thing he'd have been curious about. Hugh: Well, what about these other words? "Pay sooo". Foyle: Don't know. Could be anything. Hugh: What, you think that the boy was the real target and not Gascoigne? Foyle: I don't really see how he could have been. It was Gascoigne who got the phone call that told him to go to the summerhouse. Hugh: Well, I suppose there's one way you'll find out. If someone has another go. Gascoigne estate. Susan sits on the steps outside the house. Susan: Are you really going to stand here keeping watch? Milner: That's what I'm here for. Susan: Do you have a gn? Milner: I feel like James Cagney with it shoved into my waistband. He chuckles. Then he stiffens as he spots something in the underbrush, and raises a finger to his lips. Susan turns to follow his gaze. Susan: What is it? Milner: There's someone down there. Wait here. A figure is lurking beneath the trees. Milner draws his gn and starts down the steps. Susan leans out to watch. Milner arrives at the trees to see someone running away. A uniformed policeman comes running up. Milner: Quick, this way. Go straight ahead. Through the woods. Policeman: Roger. He and another officer take off after the running man, whistles blwing. The man is revealed to be Theo, holding the gn in his hand. He pants as he comes to a halt amid the trees. Night. Susan is outside the house with a cigarette. She hides it quickly at the sound of the door. Milner emerges from the house. Susan: (Oh. it's you.) Milner: You shouldn't really be out here, Miss Gascoigne. He could come back. Susan: Why, are you afraid I'll get sht? Milner: Actually, you're breaking the blackout. Your cigarette. She laughs. Susan: I'll put it out. She takes another drag, then stubs it out. They both go back inside to the lounge. Susan: Can I ask you something? Are you married? Milner: Yes. Susan: Are you very much in love? Sorry. I shouldn't be asking these questions. It's... I've got nobody to turn to. Milner: Miss Gascoigne- Susan: There's somebody I've met, and he's asked me to marry him, and I want to. I love him. But my father won't hear of it. He won't even- Milner: I'm on duty here. Susan: How much does the world have to change before people like us can behave how we want to and not how we're expected to? Milner: You shouldn't be talking to me like this. Susan: It's just that you're the only person I've had to talk to. She's starting to get upset. Milner: It's all right. He puts a comforting arm around her shoulders. Susan: Why can't I marry the man I love? Why does my father have to stop me? Milner: I'm sure he just wants what's best for you. The door opens and Lawrence comes into the room. Lawrence: What on Earth do you think you're doing? Susan: Daddy, it, it's, it's not what you think. Emily comes into the room after Lawrence. Lawrence: Oh, take her to her room. Emily: I beg your pardon? Lawrence: You heard me. Take her upstairs. Susan: He wasn't doing anything! She huffs and stalks out past Emily. Emily: What? Confused, she looks at Milner then moves after Milner. Milner: Sir- Lawrence: I want you out of my house! Milner: Believe me, sir- Lawrence: I saw what you were doing. Milner: She was upset. Lawrence: You will leave this instant. Milner: No, sir. I'm here to protect you. Lawrence: Get out! Carlo's. Tony is putting on his coat while Carlo counts the money in the till. Carlo: You going out? Tony: We're just about finished here, ain't we? Carlo: Where are you going? Tony: Just out. Carlo: Antonio. Please, I worry about you. Tony: Why? Carlo: You're going to see Jack Winters, right? Tony: Dad, when are you going to realise I'm not a little boy anymore? I can look after myself. Carlo: The police know about him. He's trouble. Tony: Dad, I need to talk to you about something. Now, I've made a decision. Carlo: If it's to do with Jack Winters, I don't want to know. Tony: I tell you what, doesn't matter. Don't wait up. He walks away. Gascoigne estate, night. A gn is heard from inside the house. Grounds. Two men run away from the house and into the trees, pursued by a trio of policemen. Policeman: No- One of them tackles one of the men to the ground. It's Tony. Tony: I'm sorry! Policeman 2: Let go! Policeman 3: Hold it! Hold it! Policeman: I got him. I got him. Come on. Policeman 2: That's enough of that, all right? Policeman 3: That's it. Hang on. He restrains the other man against a tree. It's Jack Winters. Gascoigne house, lounge. Lawrence lies dad on the floor, the ambulance officers just in the process of covering the body. Milner: It looks as if he was the target, sir. He and Foyle are standing by watching. Foyle: Yes. Looks like it. There's no sign of any wapon? Milner: No. Foyle: And all the doors were locked? Milner: Yes. Foyle: And all the windows were locked? Milner: And nothing's been tampered with. Foyle: Right. Milner: I should have been here, sir. Foyle: No, that's all right. Milner: He completely misunderstood. I- Foyle: No. I just wonder why, er, if he really thought his life was in danger, why he should choose to, um, lose his police bodyguard? Emily and Susan enter the room. Emily sinks down to sit on the sofa. Foyle: Mrs Gascoigne, what can you, um, tell me about last night? She doesn't say anything. Foyle: I mean, your, your husband and Susan had an argument, is that right? Emily: Yes. He was very angry. He came downstairs. He wanted to be alone. Foyle: And then what? Did you hear anything? Emily: I heard a sht. Foyle: D'you keep a gn in the house, Mrs Gascoigne? Susan: My father kept a gn in the top drawer of his desk. He was worried about the invasion. Foyle points towards the desk. Susan: It's the top right-hand drawer. Foyle: Top right-hand drawer? He opens it, and then the other drawer. Foyle: It's not here. Foyle's office. He's sitting at his desk. there's a knock at the door. Foyle: Yes? Sam: Sir? Foyle: Sam. Sam: Is it true they've arrested Tony? Foyle: And Jack Winters, yes. She sits down opposite Foyle. Sam: I really don't think he had anything to do with Gascoigne's death. Foyle: Well, except that he was at the house when it happened. Sam: I don't think he wanted to be there. Foyle: He's responsible for his own actions. Sam: I just think you ought to know that he's just joined up. He didn't want anyone to know. I just don't think he had it in him to hurt anyone, sir. Police interview room. Tony sits behind the table. Tony: I don't know what to say to you, Mr Foyle. Foyle: What the hell did you think you were doing, Tony? Tony: It was Jack's idea. Wanted to get his own back. Foyle: By sh*ting him? Tony: No. He was just going to break in, make a mess. I tried to talk him out of it, I swear. Foyle: You're joining up, is that right? Tony: Sam told you. Foyle: Why haven't you told your dad? Tony: I was going to, Mr Foyle, but after this... They won't have me, I don't suppose. Foyle: They'll have you, Tony. You've not been arrested... yet. Tell your father. He leaves the room. Another interview room. Milner is interviewing Jack Winters. Milner: You were caught in the grounds of Lawrence Gascoigne's house. Jack: I didn't go anywhere near the house. I wasn't doing nothing wrong. Milner: You were trespassing. Jack: Trespassing? Ooh. Milner: You were planning to break in. Jack: Says you. Milner: We found a bag and a crowbar. Jack: Those were Tony's. Milner: You still have two months of your sentence left to serve. Isn't that right? We can arrange for you to go back. Jack: And what about Tony? He gets off scot-free because your boss knows his dad? Police station lobby. Carlo hurries up as Foyle is coming out from the back. Carlo: Christopher. Foyle: Carlo. Carlo: Please tell me it isn't true. You told me Tony wasn't involved, and now they tell me that he's mixed up in a mrder. Where is he? Foyle: He's downstairs. He's all right. Come in here. Carlo: You've spoken to him? Foyle: I've spoken to him. Of course I've spoken to him. Carlo: He's not involved. You know that. Foyle: Carlo, for heaven's sake, how long have I known him? Really. I'm going to tell you this, but believe me, he will tell you. You ought to know that he's joined up. Carlo: He's done what? Foyle: He's joined up, and he's not telling you because you're angry with him. Carlo: This makes me proud of him, Christopher. In Italy, in Germany, we have to fight fascism. Foyle sees Tony being escorted out from the back. Foyle: Well, will you tell him that? He's free to go. Take him home. Carlo: Thank you, Christopher. Foyle: It's a pleasure. Sam is standing by as Carlo rounds the corner and sees Tony. He spreads his arms and gives Tony a hug. Foyle: Sam. He beckons her away. Sam and Foyle are driving along. Sam: Are we going back to Gascoigne's place? Foyle: No, we're not. Right here. He points. Sam: To the factory? Foyle: Yes. The car pulls up to the factory gates. Hawkins stands in the gateway. Hawkins: I'm sorry, Mr Foyle. I've already told you. Foyle: Mr Hawkins, the wr Office has disavowed any knowledge of you and this factory. You're not working for them, and you're not producing munitions here, either. An eleven-year-old child has died, quite possibly as a result of what's going on here. Now, you either tell me what that is, or I arrest you for obstruction. Hawkins: All right, Mr Foyle, but I'll be reporting back on this. He looks towards the solider on gate duty. Hawkins: Open the gate. Foyle walks in after him. Sam gets back in the car to drive it inside before getting out to follow. Inside the factory. The three of them walk through to a big open room. Hawkins: Now maybe you'll understand why this place is off-limits. Those are my orders from the Ministry of Health. Sam: But why? Hawkins: They're preparing. They know what's coming. The Luftwaffe, the most powerful air force in the world. Around the room, men are at work on building a large quantity of coffins. Hawkins: Eh, here's been a few bmb down in the southeast, but that was just a taster. Soon they'll target London, and there's going to be more bodies than you can imagine. And they're going to need coffins. Someone has to make them. Sam: Yeah. But... Hawkins: Nobody's meant to know. They're worried about morale. He chuckles. Hawkins: And with good reason. Have you seen enough? Foyle: Yes, thank you. He and Sam leaves. The camera pans up to show the true scale of the coffin-making operation. Brooks' office building. Foyle enters and heads up the stairs. Brooks (voiceover): Nice to see you again, Mr Foyle. What can I do for you? Brooks' office. Foyle: I was wondering what, er, access the defence volunteers have to wapon. Brooks: Getting any sort of wapon is almost impossible. Foyle: No rfles? No grenades? Brooks: Molotov cocktails is more the mark. At the moment, I have about one rfle for every fifteen men in the unit. The situation's absurd. We're doing valuable work, defending vital installations. How we're supposed to do that without proper support is beyond me. Foyle: Lawrence Gascoigne, um, ever visit the unit? Brooks: Er, yes. Once. Gascoigne's dad. You were supposed to protect him. Foyle: Well, I couldn't protect him, Mr Brooks, because he was lying to me in much the same way as you have been. Brooks: What are you saying? Foyle: I'm saying that you haven't been telling me the truth about your visit to Gascoigne, or, indeed, about your son. Brooks: I thought I had. Foyle: So did I. This, amongst other things, is a record of comings and goings and observations, um, by the eleven-year-old evacuee that the Gascoigne family took in. This, for example, is a note about my visit to the house. And, er, this is a note about my car registration number. He shows Brooks the notebook, open to the page he was looking at before. Foyle: And this over here is a note about your visit to the house. This word, for example, "facray". I thought it was probably a misspelling of the word "factory" because there was a factory, er, next door to the house. Brooks: Isn't it? Foyle: No. In fact, it's your car registration number, FAC 345. This is your name, and this here, in the same way that he got, er, his 'S's the wrong way round, he got his twos the wrong way round, and so, in fact, his twos look like 'S's, and this is, in fact, the amount, £2,000, that you paid to Gascoigne to make sure that your son wouldn't have to fight, which does, in fact, correspond with the amount that was withdrawn from your private account the day before you met. If you remember, the last time I was here and you told me that you weren't speaking to your son, but, in fact, you phoned his Dorset number from this number, er, a dozen times since then. £2,000, was it? That's an awful lot of money. Brooks: I did bribe Gascoigne. I wasn't the first. Gascoigne lived way beyond his means, and word got around that, from time to time, he could be bought. Foyle: I don't understand why. Brooks: You have no idea. What I saw in the wr. Passchendaele... was a stinking quagmire. I saw men step off the duckboards and drown in mud. I saw men... blown apart. What did we achieve? Here we are at wr again, the same enemy. We achieved nothing. I wasn't going to let that happen to Stephen. I love him too much. Foyle nods. Train station ticket office. Theo is paying for a ticket. Florence stands beside him. Ticker Seller: Thank you, sir. Theo: Thank you for coming with me. Florence: I still can't believe you're joining up. Theo: Can you forgive me? Florence: There's nothing to forgive. David and I never tried to force what we thought on anyone. Theo: I know that. The leave the office, heading down a set of stairs. Florence: But I wish I understood. The two of them re-emerge from the stairs on the other side of the platform. Theo: I loved David, you know. He was so talented. He was funny. He was kind. He was my best friend. And the fact is that Lawrence Gascoigne klled him. I know he didn't tie the noose, but it came down to the same thing. Florence: You went round to his house, didn't you? And you had a gn. Theo: Hadn't been touched since the last wr. I don't even know if it works. Florence: Did you find out? Theo: No, of course not. I didn't get anywhere near. There were police all over the place. But it made me realise I wanted to kll him. I really did. Oh, I was in the grip of some sort of... some sort of madness. Hatred. I've never felt anything like it. It was totally overpowering. David used to talk about the wr as a lesson in mrder. He was right. I still believe in pacifism, Florence. That hasn't changed, but I'm as capable of klling as the next man. So I might as well use that capability and do my bit to save civilization. I can fight, so I should. The train approaches the station. Other platform. Pearson steps out from the ticket office. Foyle follows him through. Foyle: I'm very pleased you've decided to go back, Mr Pearson. Pearson: I don't want to be here. Foyle: I understand. Pearson: Thank you, Mr Foyle. I know you tried to do your best. They head down the stairs together. Opposite platform. Theo is about to board the train. Theo: Well, I suppose this is goodbye. Will you write to me? Florence: Of course I'll write to you, Theo. And I'll still be here when you come back. Theo: I'm sorry. Florence: Oh, don't. Just look after yourself. They hug. Behind them, Pearson and Foyle are coming up the steps. Pearson: Joe used to send me picture postcards. I don't read too well. I come down a couple of times. Used to get a special rate on the railways. I used to take him out for tea. The, er, Gascoignes didn't want me up at the house. They, er, what is it they said? Would've been far too hard for Joe. Ha. He boards the train. Foyle speaks to him through the open window. Foyle: Joe knew you were coming? Pearson: I telephoned him, yeah. Foyle: Did he say anything? Pearson: Well, he was pleased, you know. Said he had a lot to tell me. The train whistle blows. Foyle: I bet he did. Pearson: Do you know who klled him, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Yes. Pearson: Yeah. God rot 'em, whoever it is, eh? Foyle: Mmm. The train pulls away. Gascoigne house, lounge. Foyle and Milner stand facing a politely smiling Emily. Foyle: Mrs Gascoigne. I'm here to arrest you for the mrder of your husband. Emily: Yes. Yes, yes. Er, have I time to pack a few things? Foyle: You just need your coat. Emily: I understand. She walks out and they follow her. Hallway. Susan comes down the staircase as a policeman is escorting her mother out. Susan: Mr Milner, what's going on? Milner: I'm sorry, Miss Gascoigne. Emily, still composed, walks out to get in the police car. Susan (offscreen): Where are you taking my mother? Foyle (offscreen): Miss Gascoigne, I'm afraid I've got some rather bad news for you. Lounge. Foyle sits opposite Susan and Peter Buckingham. Foyle: See, Joe was about to return to his parents in London. Flashback to Susan in Joe's bedroom. Susan: Joe, your father's coming for you. Foyle: And the timing just couldn't have been worse as far as your father was concerned because it was only a little while before that he'd discovered that Joe had either seen him or overheard him accepting a £2,000 bribe from a businessman. Susan: And Joe was going to tell? Foyle: If he had, er, your father would have lost everything. A judge taking bribes on that sort of scale. It wouldn't just have meant the end of his career. He'd most certainly have gone to jail. Susan: What about the death thrat? Foyle: The death thrat weren't real because your father made them himself. Flashback to Lawrence pasting cut out words onto a sheet of paper. Foyle (voiceover): To make it seem that he and not Joe was the intended victim. Susan looks incredulous. Foyle: The brick through the window. Flashback to Lawrence throwing the brick through from outside. Foyle: He threw it himself. And the note. Intercut with a flashback to Emily reading the note. Emily: "You, too, will receive justice"? Foyle: He prepared that himself. Emily: Lawrence? Foyle: And he even went as far as trying to settle another score by implicating you. Intercut with a flashback to Lawrence talking to Foyle and Milner. Lawrence: I did recently have a set-to. Foyle: The only person he mentioned was you. Lawrence: Peter Buckingham was forcing his attentions on my daughter. Foyle: So, in the letter... He nods to Milner, who leans forward to pick up the cut-out words on the table in front of them. Milner: He used cuttings from the kind of paper he imagined you read, and then he added a few smears of machine oil. Foyle: Because he'd bought the story that you were a machine operator in a factory producing armaments, which wasn't, of course, the case, and the oil was... Flashback to Milner examining the letter. Foyle (voiceover): A detail too many. Lounge. Foyle: So I'm afraid it was your father who took the grenade from the defence volunteers. Flashback to Lawrence setting the grenade trap. Foyle (voiceover): It was your father who set up the device in the summerhouse. Susan: I can't believe this. Foyle: And it was your father who, the following morning, faked the telephone call. Intercut with a flashback to the morning of the explsin. Lawrence: He said he'd left something for me in the summer house. Joe: I'll go. Foyle: The strange phone call... Lawrence: He rang off. Foyle: The secret parcel and telling Joe not to go into the summerhouse was, in fact, the very best way of making sure he did exactly that. Flashback to Joe setting off the grenade and Susan seeing the explsin. Susan: Soe! Foyle: So it seemed as if Joe had been klled accidentally, and your father thought his secret was safe. Susan: I can't believe this. I can't believe my father could have done this. Foyle: It's a very great deal for you to take in. Susan: But my father was klled. Foyle: Yes. Susan is silent for a long moment, looking to Milner, then Foyle. Susan: My mother. Foyle: Yes. Peter: How do you know? Foyle: Well, because the house was locked. Flashback to Lawrence's body being covered. Foyle (voiceover): He was klled with his own gn, and only he, you, and your mother knew it was there. Lounge. Foyle: And, er, it wasn't you. Susan nods slowly to herself. Susan: Some family. Police interview room. Emily: I knew that something was wrong. Foyle and Milner stand opposite her. Emily: That business with the brick through the window, for example. Flashback to Lawrence throwing the brick, then Foyle questioning the Gascoignes about it. Foyle: And neither of you heard anything? Emily: Well, I, I was asleep. Er, I suddenly woke up. I, I was shivering. It was terribly cold. I don't know why. Interview room. Emily: Lawrence had opened the front door. He'd let in the cold air. That was what made me shiver. Do you see? He had to go outside in order to throw the brick. Milner: Did you know all along? Emily: No, I didn't know. That's when I confronted him. That's when he told me. Flashback to Lawrence at his desk, drinking. Lawrence: All right! I klled him! Emily: Lawrence, no. Lawrence: He was nothing. A guttersnipe! The little vermin should never have come here in the first place. Always snooping around, poking and prying. He thrat me, for heaven's sake! Emily: What? He was a child. Lawrence: He was here when Brooks came. He heard the whole thing. Emily: You... klled a child. Lawrence: We klled him, Emily! He stands up forcefully. Emily: No. Lawrence: Keeping up appearances! That's the reason I needed the money in the first place. Ever since I married into your bloody family... Emily: How dare you bring my family into this? Lawrence: And moved into this bloody house, I've been scrimping and saving. Do you think I was going to let the whole pack of cards come crumbling down because of some East End brat? Emily: I won't be part of this! Lawrence: Well, you are part of it! You're the reason it happened! Emily: No! She strides towards his desk and opens the drawer. Lawrence: What are you doing? She pulls the gn out from the drawer. Emily: You, too, will receive justice! She aims it at Lawrence. Lawrence: What are you doing with that? Put it down! She fires three times and he collapses to the floor. She pants for breath, looking down at him. Interview room. Emily: That moment, I think I hated him more than anyone. More than I'd hated anyone ever before. But I didn't kll him for that reason. I klled him because it was the right thing to do. Foyle's office. He sits behind his desk with the office door open. Hugh Reid comes walking up. Hugh: Burning the midnight oil? Foyle: Case notes. What's the time? Hugh: After ten. I heard about Emily Gascoigne. Nasty business. Foyle: Evil times. Hugh: And getting worse. You haven't heard the wireless? Foyle: No. Hugh: Italy's declared wr. It was on the news. So now we really are up against it. There've been riots in London, apparently, fires in the East End. Goodnight. Foyle: Goodnight. Street outside Carlo's, night. An angry mob has formed, shouting and carrying flaming torches. People start smashing up the outside of the restaurant and breaking windows. Woman: Get out! One man lights a Molotov cocktail. Man: Get away! He runs up and hurls it through the front of the restaurant. As the downstairs of the restaurant bursts into flames, the crowd shout and wave their torches. Next day. Sam and Foyle come driving up and get out of the car. Tony is sitting on a bench in front of the brned-out restaurant. Sam kneels beside him while Foyle inspects the damage. Foyle: Where is he? It's obvious now that Tony's been crying. Tony: He's dad. We were both asleep. There was smoke and, and flames. The firemen got me out. Dad didn't make it. Sam's starting to cry too. They're all silent for a moment. Sam: I'm so sorry, Tony. Tony stands up from the bench and walks over to stand beside Foyle in front of the restaurant. Tony: What sort of a world is this, Mr Foyle? Foyle just nods. Tony starts to walk away, and Sam calls after him. Sam: Tony. He walks off without looking back and Sam returns to Foyle. Sam: I don't know what to say. Foyle: Neither do I. Sam turns to walk back to the car.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "01x03 - A Lesson In m*rder"}	foreverdreaming
Hastings, night. Air-raid sirens howl and bmb are dropping. One of them strikes a row of houses. Daylight. ARP Warden Willis and other wardens and police move around the wreckage of the bmb site. CAPTION: AUGUST 1940 Willis: We've got a gas leak! Get it plugged! A body is being carried away on a stretcher. Man (offscreen): Help! Man (offscreen): All right. Man (offscreen): Got it? Man (offscreen): Yeah. Joyce Davies arrives on the scene carrying bags and stops as she sees the devastation. Joyce: Oh my God. She runs forward. Joyce: Oh! A policeman, PC Fisher, stops her. Fisher: Sorry. You can't come through. Joyce: No, you don't understand. I live here. Fisher: What's your name? Joyce: Joyce Davies. This is my house. Fisher: All right, love. You'd better come with me. He takes her over to Willis. Fisher: This lady says she lives here. Joyce: My house. I don't believe it. Willis: Sorry, love. It caught one. You'll be all right, though. Someone get her a cup of tea! Man (offscreen): All right! Willis pulls an intact chair from the wreckage. Willis: Here. Sit down. Joyce: My chair. My kitchen chair! Willis: Not much left of your kitchen, I'm afraid. So where were you last night, then? Down the local shelter? Joyce: No. No, I wasn't. Willis: Was the house empty? Joyce: No. My husband. Oh, Graham! She runs forward and the two men stop her. Willis: Any children? Joyce: No. Graham, is he in there? Willis: We're looking now. He pats her on the shoulder and moves off. Fisher guides her to sit down. Fisher: Have you got somewhere to go? Someone to look after you? Joyce; Bloody Germans. Dropped a bmb on my house. Bloody cowards! Fisher: Don't you worry. Our boys'll be doing the same to them, and worse. Warden (offscreen): Hey! Willis points at Joyce before going to investigate. Willis: You stay there. He joins the warden who called out to him. Willis: Ah. Poor sod. Come on, let's get him out of there. Hey, take care. I've got his wife over there. They clear debris off the body of Graham Davies. As the warden turns him onto his back, they see a Knfe sticking out of his chest. Willis: Bloody hell. Fisher and Joyce both stare at the body. OPENING CREDITS Street outside the Foyle house. Bruce Leighton-Morris drives up to the house. Andrew Foyle is in the passenger seat in his RAF uniform. Andrew: Bruce, you must let me pay my share of the petrol. Bruce: Oh, forget it. I was coming down anyway. Andrew: Thanks, Bruce. He gets out of the car. Bruce: Give me a call. Let's have lunch, yes? Andrew: Righty-o. Bruce: Good luck. He drives away. Foyle's bedroom. Still in bed, he's roused by a loud thump from below. Heading downstairs in his dressing gown, he follows clattering noises to the kitchen. Foyle: Andrew? Andrew: Hello, Dad. Foyle: What the hell are you doing? Andrew: I was trying not to wake you. Foyle: You're trying not to- you're making such a bloody racket. Andrew: Sorry. I don't suppose you've got any food, have you? I left too early for breakfast. Foyle: Food? Yes, there's food. There's... There's some eggs. Andrew: Great. Foyle: That's about it, though. Got some leave? Andrew: No, I've been posted. Foyle: Right. Well, you put something together. I'll have mine scrambled. I'll get changed. Andrew: All right. Foyle: Uniform suits you. Andrew: Thanks. Wish I could say the same for your dressing gown. Foyle: Hmph. Dining room, later. Foyle brings the teapot over to Andrew at the table. Andrew: Knew him up at Oxford and bumped into him again in London. He put me up last night and drove me down today. You sure you don't remember him? Foyle: What was his name again? Andrew: Bruce. Bruce Leighton-Morris. Foyle: No. Andrew: He's recceing for the Crown Film Unit. Foyle: Right. So you've finished your training then, have you? Andrew: Mm-hmm. Foyle: Are you attached to a squadron now? Andrew: No, and I don't know why not. Most of the chaps I was with have already gone operational. bmb, coastal command. But Calder - he was our CO - sent me here. Some sort of cloak-and-dagger show. "Don't breathe a word to a soul," that sort of thing. Foyle: Does that include me? Andrew: Absolutely. Foyle: I understand. Well, good to have you home anyway. Andrew: You never talk about the last wr. Foyle: Ooh. Well, not if I can help it. Andrew: Well, you were in it. Foyle: Yeah, worst three years of my life. Andrew: So you were conscripted? Foyle: No. Conscription didn't start until 1916. I volunteered. Andrew: And? Foyle: Well, um, went in as a private, er, got sent to France, er, came out as, er, what they called a "temporary officer and gentleman" only because there was nobody else left. Andrew: Did you ever kll anyone? Foyle: What, are you worried about maybe having to? Andrew: I suppose I have gn to think about it. Well, did you? Foyle hesitates before answering. There's a knock on the door, and he lets out a huff. Foyle: Yes. Yeah, I did. And all I can say is, you get through it. Andrew: Hell or high water. There's another knock. Foyle: Get that, would you? It's my driver. Andrew: Course. They both stand up. Andrew goes to answer to the door. Sam: Oh, hello. Andrew: Hello. Are you...? Sam: You must be Andrew. I'm Samantha Stewart. I'm your father's driver. Andrew: Oh. Come in. Um, he never told me he had a... Sam: What? Andrew: Well, um, a girl. Especially such a pretty one. Sam: I see you don't hold back. Obviously been well trained by the RAF. Andrew: Have you met many pilots? Sam: No. I tend to mix more with policemen. Just as well, really. Andrew: Look, I didn't mean to offend you. We've got plenty of WAAF drivers. I just didn't expect to meet one driving my dad. Sam: Well, I was hoping to cook or knit balaclavas for His Majesty's Forces, but here I am. Foyle comes through from the next room, straightening his tie. Foyle: Hmm. You two met, then? Sam: Yes. Foyle turns to Andrew. Foyle: You here this evening? Andrew: Er, they haven't told me where I'm being billeted, but I expect so. Foyle: Right. We'll eat out, yeah? Andrew: Right. Foyle: Good. Sam? They head out and Andrew closes the door behind them. Sam and Foyle drive along the street outside. Foyle: What's on your mind, Sam? Sam: My father called me last night. He's coming down to Hastings. Foyle: Well, that's a nice surprise, isn't it? Sam: It's a surprise, certainly. He wants me to have dinner with him tomorrow night. Foyle: So what's the problem? Sam: He is. He never wanted me to join the MTC, and I don't suppose he'll think the police are any better. He's probably come to check up on me. Foyle: Well, I'm sure you'll be able to persuade him you're doing a worthwhile job. Sam: You don't know my father. Foyle: Oh. Police station. Milner comes through from the back with a file as Sam and Foyle arrive. Milner: Morning, sir. Foyle: Milner. Milner: A man's body's been found. A house on Henley Terrace, bmb last night. Foyle: Oh, yeah? Sam: So he was klled by Jerry? Milner: No, not unless they're dropping kitchen knives. He was sab. bmb site. Foyle and Milner are talking with one of the wardens. Willis: It was a lone raider, sir. Came in just before dawn. Dropped six high explsives and some incendiaries. We've got casualties in Bexleigh Avenue, Maze Hill, and Ecclesbourne Glen. This was the worst ht. As you can see. He wouldn't have stood a chance. He lifts the covering blanket off of Graham Davies' body. Foyle: Except he was dad already. Spotting something, he crouches down to retrieve a locket necklace held in Davies' hand. Milner: Worn by the kller, torn off as the Knfe went in? Foyle: Perhaps. Milner: A young girl? Foyle: A young girl... with a kitchen Knfe? He gives the locket to Milner to examine. Foyle: What do you know about him? Willis: Graham Davies. Er, 42, a driver. Not in the forces. Local deliveries, removals, that sort of thing. Married, no children. Foyle: Where's his wife? Willis: Oh, we put her in the pub round the corner. Thought she could do with a drink after all this. Foyle: Yeah. Me too. The pub. Joyce Davies takes a drink. Joyce: I should have been there. That's what I can't get over. I should have been there. Sam is sitting opposite her. Sam: I, I don't think there's anything you could have done. Joyce: Who'd want to kll my Graham? Sam: Well, we were hoping you'd tell us that. Joyce: It doesn't make any sense. The door opens and Foyle and Milner come in. Sam gets up to meet them. Sam: (She's, er, still a bit, um...) Foyle: Sure. Okay, thank you. He approaches Joyce. Foyle: Good morning. Joyce: Who are you? Foyle: I'm a police officer. I'm investigating your husband's death. He and Milner both sit down. Joyce: There's nothing I can tell you. I don't know anything about it. Milner: Your husband drove a lorry for a living, is that right? Joyce: He came back from Wales last night. Milner: What was he carrying? Joyce: Er, it was art stuff, um, paintings, that sort of thing. He'd been in London. That's where he had to collect it from. Milner: And do you know which gallery? Joyce: Oh, he did tell me. I can't remember. The Wilson, the Winstone, something like that. Foyle: And you were in Brighton last night, is that right? Joyce: Well, yes. Foyle: And who were you with? Joyce: I, I was with a friend. Foyle: Do you mind telling us, erm, your friend's name? She hesitates, upset. Joyce: I did love Graham. He wasn't a bad man. We never had enough money. We never did anything. His name's Trevor Thompson. He's the cinema manager. The Astoria. Foyle: And your husband didn't know about this? Joyce: Oh, he'd have died if he'd found out. He never knew. I didn't want to hurt him. Foyle shows her the locket. Foyle: Is this yours? Joyce: No. Foyle: You recognise it? Joyce: No. I, I've never seen it before. Foyle: Okay. Willis is talking with an elderly member of the Home Guard, Frank Watson. Foyle (offscreen): You realise, um, you're gonna have to search what's left of this place. Milner (offscreen): I was afraid you were going to say that. Foyle (offscreen): Well, the reason he was klled might still be in there. Willis and Frank approach the two of them as they walk up with Sam. Willis: Excuse me, sir. Er, there's a witness wants to talk to you. His name is Frank Watson, and he was on patrol in this area last night. Foyle: Mr Watson? Frank: There's not much to tell you, sir. I was on my way home. It was about half past ten, and this man came up to me. Milner: What did he look like? Frank: What? Milner (louder): What did he look like? Frank: I couldn't see, I told you. It was a blackout. He looks Foyle up and down. Frank: About as tall as you, he was. About 50, I don't know. Foyle: And what did he want? Frank: He asked me the way to Henley terrace, and I told him - past the corner, second on the right. And then I thought, "What's he doing creeping round the streets this time of night? He's not from round here. Could be a German spy. Could be anyone." And then when I heard about the mrder... Foyle: Right. Well, thank you. Frank: Pardon? Willis leads Frank away while the other three get in the car. A manor in the countryside. A military vehicle drives up to the front door. Keller (voiceover): Good morning, Foyle. My name is Wing Commander Keller. Welcome to the manor. Keller's office. Andrew stands before his desk. Andrew: Sir. Keller: I have your, er, instructor's report. He says a lot of good things about you. Andrew: Thank you, sir. Keller: I just hope it's true. You flew under the Forth Bridge? Andrew: We had a bit of a bet. Foyle: Risking your own neck and, more to the point, a valuable aircraft. Still, it seems you have an aptitude for low-level flying, and that's why you're here. I imagine you were disappointed not to be posted to a squadron. Andrew: Yes, sir. If you want the truth, I was. Keller: Well, this is much, much more important. He heads out of the office, and Andrew follows him through the rooms of the manor. Keller: What I'm about to show you is probably the biggest, the most important secret of the wr. This goes no further. You don't even whisper a word to your mother. Andrew: Actually, sir, my mother's dad. Keller: Security is my responsibility, and if you step out of line, I'll come down on you like a ton of bricks. Is that understood? Andrew: Absolutely, sir. Keller: Good. Right. Well, let me introduce you to the three most important letters you'll hear in your life. RDF. Radio direction finding. Also known as radar. He opens the outer door, heading for the car outside. Keller: How do you think htler made such easy work of Poland, Belgium, and the Netherlands? It was because he was able to take out their entire air forces before they got off the ground. Thanks to radar, that's not gonna happen here. They both get into the car. Keller: Now, how are you on science? Andrew: It was never my strong suit, I'm afraid, sir. The car drives away from the manor. Keller (voiceover): Well, put simply, radar allows us to determine the position of a distant point by means of reflected radio waves. It means that we can spot enemy aircraft at night, in cloud, long before they even reach the coast. Spot them, intercept them, and, of course, destroy them. We have CH stations - chain home, that's what they're called - all along the coast. You've probably noticed the masts. Andrew (voiceover): Yes, sir, I have, and so will Jerry, won't they? Keller: Well, they haven't appreciated their significance, thank God. Maybe they're not quite the master race that they think. The radar stations are the eyes. They're directly connected to Fighter Command HQ, which is in north London. That in turn is connected to sector control rooms in different parts of the country that control our defences. The car stops at a roadblock. Guard: Sir, can I see your pass? Keller shows his. Guard: Sir. He calls to the other guard on duty. Guard: Open up. Keller: Thank you, Corporal. Cliffs overlooking the sea. Andrew (voiceover): What's my part in all this, sir? The car heads up the cliffs. Keller (voiceover): I'm about to introduce you to a Group Captain Graeme. He's a brilliant man, science background. Runs this station and more or less built it. Car interior. Keller: He trained the people that work here, and he's put together a formidable team. The car approaches a series of masts on the clifftop. Keller (voiceover): He'll introduce you. You'll be based at the manor, but this is where the vital work will be done. That's why you're here. The car passes through another guarded barrier, and Keller and Andrew get out to head into the building. Inside. The two of them stand in Graeme's office. Graeme: Very good to meet you, Foyle. Very good indeed. He shakes hands with Andrew. Graeme: I don't go in for too much formality here, unlike Keller. "kller Keller", that's what we call him. Ha! Would you like some tea? Andrew: No, thank you, sir. Graeme: It's very good of you to help us out. Er, the Wing Commander's put you in the picture, I hope. Andrew: To a certain extent, sir, yes. Graeme: Well, at the moment we're fine-tuning. Calibrating the system. It's a bit late, some might say, but that's where you come in. Keller: Low flying. Graeme: Low flying, night flying, yes. Andrew: You're going to track me? Graeme: Find you, track you, everything. Except sht you down. Ha! Er, make sure you turn on your IFF, by the way. It's only one little switch, and you'd be amazed how many pilots forget it. Keller: Nobody knows about these exercises, and if you don't identify yourself with an IFF signal, you'll have every gn on the south coast fring at you. Andrew: I won't forget, sir. Graeme: I can't tell you how important all this is to us, Foyle. We recently lost one of our plotters - most unfortunate - and we have to get the new team up to scratch. Andrew: Plotters? Graeme: I'll show you round. He leads the way out of the office. Plotters' office. Women in headsets and WAAF uniforms man phones and watch radar signals. Woman: Sector 3A. Graeme leads Andrew and Keller inside in. Graeme: At ease, everyone. This is Pilot Officer Foyle, our very own hedge-hopper. We'll be tracking him as of tomorrow. Corporal Howes, Sergeant Roberts, Corporal Holdsworth. Andrew: Hello. Holdsworth: How do you do? Graeme: Er, you'll get a chance to meet up at the manor. That's where they're billeted. A home away from home, isn't it, ladies? Roberts: Damp, drafts, and dreadful food? Not my idea of home. Graeme: Oh, don't put him off. Ha! Er, now, this is what I want to show you, Foyle. This is what is going to win us the wr. On screen, a radar signal detects several blips. Foyle's office. Foyle is studying the locket. There's a knock on the door and Milner enters. Milner (offscreen): Trevor Thompson, sir. Foyle: Yes? Milner: He was with Joyce Davies last night. He backs up her story. Foyle: Would a mrder really have to ask the way to his victim's house, do you think? Milner: The man Frank Watson saw? Foyle: Mm-hmm. Milner: Hmm. It's a bit unlikely. But it was pitch-black, and they've taken down half the signposts, so it's easy to get confused. Foyle: This has been repaired quite recently. See? He hands the locket over for Milner to look at. Milner: That might help us. There can't be that many jewellers in Hastings. Foyle: Exactly. You get onto that while I'm in London. Milner: Sir? Foyle: At the Whittington Gallery, who have a collection of priceless French impressionist paintings and drawings. Davies used to work for them. Milner: Might have got him klled. Foyle: It might well have. A street in Eastbourne. Harold Smith rides his bike home and hurries inside with a newspaper. In the kitchen, his wife Enid is rolling dough. Harold (offscreen): Enid! Enid: What is it? Harold: Listen. Enid: Harold? Harold: The paper. "Police are investigating the mrder of 42-year-old Graham Davies, a lorry driver who was found sab in the wreckage of his house shortly after last night's air raid." He hands the paper over for her to read for herself. Enid: My God, Harold. Oh my God! Harold: What we gonna do? Airfield. Andrew heads toward his Spitfire, being checked over by a pair of mechanics. Andrew: Good morning. Mechanic: Good morning, sir. Andrew: Everything in order? Mechanic: Everything's fine. Ready to go. Andrew climbs aboard and starts the take-off sequence. Keller watches the plane take off from a window. Plotters' office. Holdsworth has a phone to her ear. Holdsworth: The target Spitfire's taken off, sir. Graeme: All right. He'll head inland 30 Miles and then turn. We have nine minutes until the exercise starts. Roberts: Standing by, sir. Spitfire cockpit. Andrew: I've completed my circle, and I'm coming in. Over and out. The Spitfire dips. Plotters' office. Graeme and the plotters watch the radar. Spitfire. Andrew brings the plane in low. Plotters' office. Graeme: Haven't you got him yet? Roberts: Nothing, sir. Just a blank screen. Her radar shows a blip. Roberts: Wait a minute. There's something. No, that's just ground reflection. Graeme: Come on, Roberts. This is not good enough. He'll be here in seven minutes, and if he was the enemy, we'd need to see him by now. Spitfire. Andrew flies down low over a river. Plotters' office. Roberts: Still nothing, sir. Graeme: All right, try a different modulation. She adjusts some dials. Spitfire. Andrew flies the plane beneath a bridge. Andrew: Yes! Plotters' office. Graeme: Three minutes and counting. He's right on top of us. Roberts: He's not there, sir. He's not anywhere. Holdsworth: I've picked up an echo from his IFF, sir. Graeme: He's out there. Where is he? They hear Andrew over the radio. Andrew: This is target Spitfire to base. I've just dropped a bmb. You're all goners. He flies past the masts, laughing to himself. Keller's office. Keller watches the plane from the window. Keller: Well, thank you very much for bringing this to my attention, Mr Henderson. Henderson: I imagined you'd want to know, sir. Keller: And this friend of his... Henderson: His name is Bruce Leighton-Morris, sir. A wealthy family. Keller: They drove down together? Henderson: Yes, sir, from London. Keller: And are you planning to arrest him? Henderson: Not yet, sir, but if we do... Keller: You'll let me know. Henderson: Oh, yes, sir. We'll keep you informed. Manor house mess. Andrew stands holding his plate and looks around. He spots Roberts at one of the tables and heads over to her. Andrew: Hello there. May I join you? Roberts: Please do. Andrew: Thanks. He sits down. Andrew: How was it you described this place? Damp, dismal, dreadful food? Well, you were right about the food, anyway. Roberts: I'm Anne. Roberts. I have to say, what you did this morning, we all thought it was tremendous. I've still got no idea how you managed to sneak up on us. Andrew: Well, I suppose I was lucky. Roberts: Oh, now that's something you don't meet every day, a modest pilot. Andrew: No, actually, you're right. Was a damn good piece of flying. Roberts: We'll just have to try harder next time. This radar work. Every day there are more raids and soon. It's so important. Andrew: How long have you been a WAAF? Roberts: I started with the VADs, but then I heard they were looking for people who could work nights and weren't scared of being bmb. Andrew: And you aren't? Roberts: Well, of course I am, but I suppose they meant people who could keep their heads in a raid. I'm not the sort who goes off in a flap, so I thought it might be me. Anyway, I applied, and I was accepted, and they sent me to Bawdsey, where I was trained. That was in April. And then I was sent here. Andrew: So you live here? Roberts: Actually, I've got an aunt living in Hastings. She runs a flower shop. I see her some weekends, but most of the time I'm here. We've got rooms in the old sab block. Andrew: The three of you? Roberts: The plotters, yes. Andrew: Must be quite a team. She smiles bashfully. Andrew inspects his food. Andrew: Hmm. Listen, when are you back on duty? Roberts: Not until three. Andrew: Then let's go out for lunch. He stands up. Roberts: What? Andrew: I know the perfect place. Come on. A country field. Andrew and Roberts sit with a picnic basket. He hands her a sandwich on a plate. Andrew: Here. Roberts: Thank you. This is lovely. Andrew: Yes, isn't it? You could almost forget there's a wr on. Roberts: Oh, no. I mean, well, the wr's all we ever think about here, day and night. Andrew: The people who run this show, they seem pretty tough. Roberts: They're all right, really. Group Captain Graeme can be a bit short-tempered. He was a pilot, you know, in the last wr, and then he flew in Persia. He won lots of medals. And Wing Commander Keller, he's... not very friendly, but that's not why any of us are here. Andrew: Hmm. Are all the operators girls? Roberts: Most of them are, I think. They say men are too ham-fisted. Andrew snorts. Roberts: Men peel potatoes, but women scrape them. That's the difference. At least, that's what they say. We've got the right hands for the job. Andrew: I think you've got perfect hands. Roberts: You should stop flirting like that. How do you know I haven't got a boyfriend? Andrew: I don't. She laughs. Andrew: Have you? Roberts: That's none of your business. Andrew: Oh, I see. It's like everything else in this place - top secret. Here. He holds out a glass bottle. Roberts: That's not beer, is it? You'll get me sht. Andrew: It's ginger beer. Don't drink it too fast. He gets another bottle for himself. Roberts: Cheers. Andrew: Cheers. Outside the Whittington Gallery. Sam and Foyle drive up and stop in front. Sam: How long are you going to be, sir? Foyle: I have no idea, Sam. Sam: It's just that, um, Bond Street is just round the corner, and I was thinking about getting my hair done. For, for tonight. My father. Foyle: Oh. Um, I'll be an hour. He gets out and Sam drives away. Inside the gallery. Foyle is at the reception desk. Curator Austin Carmichael comes down the staircase behind him. Receptionist: Ah, here he is. Carmichael: Good morning. Mr Foyle, isn't it? He shakes Foyle's hand. Foyle: Yeah. Carmichael: I'm Austin Carmichael, curator here. How can I help you? Foyle: Er, didn't the sergeant explain on the phone? Carmichael: Yes, you say a driver's been sab? Foyle: That's right. Carmichael: Extremely unpleasant business. Why don't we walk to my office, and you can tell me what it is you want? He leads the way up the stairs. Carmichael: Do you know the collection, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Er, no. I've never been here. Carmichael: The collection was acquired by Dorothy Whittington, an American living in Paris at the turn of the century. She moved to London just before the last wr. Foyle: Yeah, she bought paintings and drawings, mainly, er, French impressionists like Berault and Matisse. Carmichael: That's right, yes, but she was also surprisingly avant-garde. They arrive in a gallery full of bare display stands. Carmichael: She met Picasso several times. She also bought Braque, de Chirico, and Marcel Duchamp. Foyle: She must be quite old now? Carmichael: Oh, she's well into her nineties and in poor health. You might like to know that she's bequeathed this gallery and all its contents to the British people. A remarkable gift. Foyle: Where are the contents? Carmichael: In Wales. Foyle: Ah. Carmichael: After you. Foyle: Thank you. Carmichael's office. Carmichael waves Foyle towards the desk. Carmichael: Do, er, please sit down. As you know, all the main London galleries, including the National, moved their treasures out of the city last year. We've decided to follow suit. The building itself will remain open for lunchtime concerts and evening lectures, but the works are being housed in a disused mine in Wales, and that's where they'll stay until the end of the wr. Foyle: And Graham Davies transported them for you? Carmichael: Yes. Poor man. But if you're thinking he light-fingered some sketches on the way, you can put that right out of your mind. Foyle: I'm not suggesting anything of the sort. Carmichael: I chose Davies myself. He was thoroughly checked. Besides, there was a security procedure which was flawless. Foyle: Would you explain that to me? Carmichael: With pleasure. Flashback to the artworks being moved out. Carmichael (voiceover): The removal was supervised by an independent witness from our board of governors. In fact, Mrs Whittington's niece. Every picture in the collection was numbered and briefly described in a ledger. This was signed by me and countersigned by Miss Whittington before it left the gallery in a sealed crate. There are a number of sketches and drawings which are not on permanent display in the gallery, but these too were numbered and described. There were about 80 in all. Everything was loaded into the gallery's own lorry, which was parked in our own grounds next to the entrance. Before it left London, the lorry was locked with a key which remained in my possession throughout. He holds up the key to show Foyle. Carmichael: This is the key here. The second key was at our facility in Wales, so the lorry couldn't be opened until it got there. At which point, of course, the entire procedure was reversed, with every picture being checked off against the ledger, its number and description verified. Foyle: This the ledger over there? Carmichael: Mm-hmm. Foyle: Would you mind? Carmichael: No, not at all. He hands Foyle the ledger and Foyle flips through the pages. Foyle: "Georges Rouault, Clouds and Horses, 1910, W." What does the W mean? Carmichael: It's a little shorthand I introduced. W is woodcut, L is lithograph, S sketch, D drawing and so on. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Carmichael: 1910 is the date it was excuted. Foyle: Mm. It's all very thorough. Carmichael: I am the custodian of Mrs Whittington's bequest, Detective Chief Superintendent. I'm very sensible of my responsibilities. Foyle: Good. Manor house mess. Andrew and Roberts walk back in together. Roberts: Arundel was the best. I was sent there while I was waiting to start training, and it was enormous fun. Arundel castle, we were actually waited on by a Butler, and the food was marvellous. Andrew: Like here? She chuckles as he hands her a cup of tea. Roberts: There were twelve of us billeted in a sort of circular tower. The Duke and Duchess of Norfolk used to invite us to Red Cross dances. Andrew: Really? Roberts: But then I was sent to Bawdsey, and that was where I met Lucy, and the two of us were transferred here. Andrew: Lucy? Roberts: Oh, she isn't here anymore. Andrew: So, what happened to her? They head over to a table to sit down. Roberts: I... shouldn't have mentioned it. She died. Andrew: Oh. I'm sorry. Was it a raid? Roberts: No, it was nothing like that at all. Keller approaches the tea urn next to their table. Keller: Foyle. Are you settling in? Andrew: Yes, thank you, sir. Keller: Been given a billet? Andrew: Not yet, sir. I was rather holding out for the sab block, actually. Keller: No, that's just for the girls. Andrew: Too bad. I suppose I can stay at home. My father lives in Hastings. Keller: Oh. Home Guard? Andrew: No. Actually, he's a police officer. A Detective Chief Superintendent. Keller: Well, you'd better stay with him, then. Andrew: Right. Keller: Sergeant Roberts, you should be getting back to your position. He walks away and Roberts gets up to leave. Foyle's office. Milner is looking at the gallery ledger. Milner: Does seem pretty foolproof. Foyle: Yes, I agree. So. What other reason could there be for klling Davies? Milner: His wife was having an affair. Foyle: Yeah, but she could have left him. She didn't have to kll him. But these paintings are worth a fortune. The owner's an old lady who could well be dad by the end of the wr, and Davies was the driver. Any luck at the jewellers? He takes the ledger back from Milner. Milner: I visited five today. Nothing so far. Foyle: Oh, well. Keep at it. Where's Sam, by the way? Milner: She left to see her father. Foyle: Oh, of course she did. Er, she's driving me to Wales tomorrow. Wish me luck. Milner: Good luck. Foyle: Thank you. A street in Hastings. Sam, still in uniform, stops to take a breath then heads into the Royal Victoria hotel. Hotel restaurant. Iain Stewart stands up from one of the tables as Sam walks in. Iain: Oh, Samantha, my dear. He goes over to embrace her. Sam: Hello, Dad. They exchange kisses on the cheek. Iain: Quite a shock, seeing you in uniform. Sam: Don't you think it suits me? I would have changed, but I came straight from work. Iain: You look very smart. Please sit down. You are going to join me for supper? Sam: Rather. Iain: There's, er, no menu, I'm afraid. They say it's fishcakes. Sam: Oh, I love fishcakes. Iain: Just as well. Sam: How's Mother? Iain: Much the same. Waitress: Ready, sir? Iain nods to the waitress. Iain: She sends you her love. She worries about you. We both do. Sam: Well, I'm all right. It's only Hastings. It's not as if it's the other side of the world. Iain: Yeah, well, even so, we hear so much about young women these days, in uniform, in the forces. Of course, I know we're out of touch. Lyminster's such a quiet place. But even if half of what we hear is true, you know, young women in the WAAF, in the ATS, the Navy! Sam: "Up with the lark, to bed with a Wren." That's what they say. Iain looks taken a back. Sam: I'm sorry, Dad. It's just a joke. The waitress comes over with their plates. Waitress: There you are, miss. Iain: Well, that's my point, Samantha. Waitress: Sir. Iain: I don't think it is a joke. I meet a great many parents whose daughters have got into difficulties. It's my job to offer them pastoral care. And I have to say, it's my opinion that any sort of morality has been sht to pieces by this dreadful wr. I read some of the bulletins put out by the Association for Moral Hygiene, for example, and quite frankly, I'm appalled. Sam: Yes, but you needn't worry about me. There's no chance of me getting PWP. Iain: I'm sorry? Sam: "Pregnant without permission". Anyway, I'm not in the forces. You should be grateful they moved me to the police. It's not the same thing at all. Iain: Yes, I know they moved you. In fact, that's what made it easier for your mother and me to come to our decision. Sam: What decision? Iain: I'm here, Samantha, because I want you to come home. Sam: What? Iain: Immediately. Your mother still isn't well. We both need you. And we'd feel more comfortable knowing where you are. Sam: But I can't. Iain: It would be different if you were doing something important for the wr effort, that's how you talked us into letting you go in the first place, but what is this job of yours? Driving a policeman round the country? Getting involved in mrder and Lord knows what else. Sam: Mr Foyle needs me, and I do more than drive him. You don't understand. Iain: I'm sorry, Samantha. My mind is made up. I want you to come home. Radar base. Graeme and Keller head towards Graeme's office. Keller: Andrew Foyle. Graeme: What about him? Keller: Did you know that his father is a police officer? Detective chief superintendent Christopher Foyle. You may know the name. Keller closes the office door behind them. Graeme: No. Keller: He's in Hastings. He has something of a reputation. Graeme: Really, Martin, I don't see- Keller: Andrew Foyle had lunch with Sergeant Roberts today. Graeme: These flyboys, they don't waste any time. Keller: I overheard them. They were talking about Smith. Graeme: Are you sure? Keller: He was asking questions. Graeme: It was very unfortunate. Poor Miss Smith. But everyone here was aware of the strain she had been under, and I thought we'd decided to draw a line under the whole thing. Keller: Well, maybe you should tell Foyle that. Graeme: I'm sure I don't need to. Keller: I just thought you ought to know, sir, that's all. Graeme: Thank you, Martin. Now I do. Keller leaves the office. Foyle house. Foyle brings Andrew a drink in the front room. Foyle: So you can't tell me anything at all? Andrew: No, Dad, I can't. Foyle: Everything's classified, is it? Andrew: Well... They gave me a new Spit. Foyle: Oh, well. He moves to sit down opposite Andrew. Andrew: I've never flown anything like it. When you get in, it, it's a bit of a squeeze. The canopy's only about an, an inch away from your head, and when you breathe... I wasn't sure at first. I mean, it's a beautiful thing, but it doesn't taxi well. If you ask me, the brakes are too sensitive, and if you push too hard, you go belly over. But the moment I was in the air... Well, it's, it's hard to describe. It was as if I'd become part of the plane. I didn't have to think about the controls, I just thought where I wanted to go, and I went. Wizard. 20,000 feet in no time at all. 350 Miles per hour. That's at least 50 more than the Hurricane. Turning, landing - there's just nothing like it. Foyle: So you can tell me what you flew but not where you flew it? Andrew: I didn't leave England. It was a test flight. I'm not actually going into combat, Dad, so you don't have to worry about me. Not yet, anyway. Foyle: Good crowd? Andrew: Yeah, they seem all right. Wing Commander's a bit of a cold fish. There's this girl... Foyle: There always is. Andrew: Anne. Damn pretty. Blue eyes, nice smile. The sort of girl you want to run out and buy flowers for. Except her aunt runs a flower shop here in Hastings, so she probably can't stand the sight of them. Foyle: Don't think there's any such thing as a girl who can't stand the sight of flowers, is there? Andrew gives an amused snort. Andrew: Aren't there times when you think of... Foyle: Think of what? Andrew: Well, you know. Marrying again? Foyle: Here we go. Andrew: Is there someone else? Foyle: What, you think I'd tell you? Andrew: Come on, Dad. It's been eight years. Foyle: Andrew, I don't really think this is quite the right time for this, you know. He stands up from his chair. Andrew: I don't see that the wr makes any difference. Life still goes on. Foyle: Well, I sincerely hope so. He turns away from Andrew, rustling some papers. Foyle: What time are you leaving tomorrow? Andrew: Late, and I won't be in for dinner. Foyle: Hmm. Anne? Andrew: Ooh, I should be so lucky. No, I've got a night op. Foyle: Right. Andrew: Sleep well, Dad. Foyle: And you. Andrew walks away. Foyle looks down and is quiet for a moment. Foyle: (Take care.) bmb site. Police officers are searching the wreckage. One finds a broken statuette and hands it to another. Policeman: All right. He huffs and adds the pieces to a pile of other items recovered from the ruins. Evidence lock-up. Foyle is looking at the collection of recovered items. Milner speaks to him through the cage around the lock-up as he approaches. Milner: Sir, good news. Jeweller, does a lot of repairs. Tiny place in Mount Pleasant. He remembered it straight away. He's holding the locket. Milner: He keeps a note of all his business. And you were right. Mended it six months ago. Foyle: He give you a name? Milner: Yes, he did. Smith household, Eastbourne. Foyle's car is parked outside. Harold (voiceover): I never thought I'd see it again. The Smiths are in their front room with Foyle and Milner. Harold: It was taken from the house. Ooh, it must be a couple of weeks ago now, wasn't it, Enid? Enid: Couple of weeks, yes. Harold: We never lock the door. Someone came in and took it off the sideboard in the front room. Enid: They took other things, too. Harold: A few things of Enid's. Foyle: Did you report it? Harold: Didn't seem any point. Nothing they took was worth very much. Enid: Except sentimental value. Foyle: Is it yours? Harold: No, it was my daughter's. She died. Foyle: Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that. How? Harold: There was an accident. She fell under a train. I bought her that locket for her birthday, just before she died. Enid: I'm just so glad to have it back. I can't thank you enough. Milner: Does the name Graham Davies mean anything to you? The Smiths exchange a look. Harold: Graham Davies? He shakes his head. Harold: Who's he? Milner: He worked as a driver for the Whittington art gallery in London. Harold: Never heard of him. Enid: D-did he have it? W-was, was he the one who stole it? Milner: Graham Davies was kll in an air raid a few days ago. When his body was found, he had the locket in his hand. Enid: Well, maybe he, he bought it from someone. Harold: We don't care who had it. Like Enid said, we're just glad to have it back. Foyle: What do you do for a living, Mr Smith? Harold: I sell ice cream. "Stop me and buy one." Well, least I did. Had to pack it in when they took away my refrigeration machine. Enid: They needed it to transport blood. Harold: Not that it'd be any use to me now. Well, there's no ice cream anymore. Enid: Harold's joined the Home Guard. Foyle: What, here in Eastbourne? Harold: Where else? Foyle: Well, not Hastings? Harold: No. Enid and I have lived here for over 30 years. We're on our own now. We don't get out much. Keep ourselves to ourselves. Hastings seafront. Bruce and Andrew are walking together. Bruce: So, how are you getting on, then? Andrew: Pretty well. I'd have thought you'd have gone back to London by now. Bruce: Oh, can't wait. I don't know how you can stick it down here. Andrew: I was born here. Bruce: Huh. It must be inbred, then. Andrew snorts. Bruce: No, I'm still stuck here for a couple more days. Andrew: You should come to supper, meet my father. Bruce: Why did he never come up to Oxford? Andrew: I don't know. Suppose he was too busy. Outdoor seating area of a seafront café. Andrew is smoking a cigarette after he and Bruce have finished their meal. Andrew: So, are you still scouting locations for this epic of yours, then? Bruce: Don't knock it, Andrew. We may not be glory boys like you, but the CFU Will come out of this wr with its head held high. Andrew: The Crown Film Unit? I can't see you making propaganda. Bruce: It's not propaganda. It's art. In the background, a man in a suit strolls around the edge of the seating area, seemingly taking in the sea view. Bruce: Well, actually, it's neither, it's a two-reeler about the need to conserve fuel. Andrew: Why Hastings? Bruce: Well, why not? This is where it's all happening. What is happening, by the way? You said you had no idea what you were going to be doing down here. I presume you found out. Andrew: I, I can't really talk about it. Bruce: What? Andrew: Seriously. I'm on active service now and- Bruce: Are you doing something hush-hush? Andrew: No. Bruce: Well, come on, I'm interested. Andrew: Look, Bruce, I, I ought to be going. He stubs out his cigarette and checks his watch. Bruce: Frightened you off, have I? Andrew: Let's go halves on the lunch. Bruce: Oh, forget it, this one's on me. Andrew: I'm sorry, Bruce. I didn't mean to sound pompous. Bruce: No, I understand. Careless talk and all that. The man in the background is revealed to be Henderson, watching the two of them as Bruce takes the money out of his wallet. Bruce: Now, let's see... Countryside. Sam and Foyle are driving along through the woods. Foyle: You're disturbingly quiet, Sam. Sam: Yes, sir. There's something I've been meaning to say. I'm afraid I can't drive you any more. I'm going to have to offer my resignation. Foyle: Well, this is a bit sudden. Sam: Effective immediately. Foyle: What, you're going to leave me here? She laughs. Sam: No. I mean... effective as soon as I've taken you back. Foyle: Does this have anything to do with your father? Sam: Everything to do with my father. He wants me to come home. He's taking me with him two days from now. Foyle: Ah. Right. Sam: I did try to reason with him, but he's decided that I'm not doing anything useful anyway and I'm to pack it in. Foyle: Well, I'm sorry to hear it. Sam: There is just one chance, sir. I wonder if you could talk to him? Foyle: Would he want to talk to me? Sam: Well, I, I did ask him, and he agreed. I hope you don't mind. It's just I, I really don't want to shove off just at the moment. And I, I know you could easily get another driver, but I really would appreciate it. Foyle: Well, I'll do what I can. Sam: Where are these paintings? Foyle: They're in some sort of mine. Looks like we're here. They pull up in front of a set of barbed-wire gates with a sign that says 'Danger, Keep Out'. Foyle gets out of the car and walks up to the gate. Art storage room inside the mine. A man, Creavey, shows Foyle around the collection. Creavey: Rubens, Rembrandt, Michelangelo, Da Vinci, we've got them all. There's more art in Wales right now than there's been in a thousand years. Nobody's gonna see it. It's a crying shame. Francois Berault. That's one of his later works. Foyle looks at a pair of sketches of ballerinas. Creavey: He only started drawing young women just before he lost his sight. Foyle: So, er, you were here when Graham Davies arrived? Creavey: I was. Foyle: And the van was locked when it arrived? Creavey: That lock hadn't been tampered with. I had the only other key. Foyle: And you were here all the time the van was being unloaded? Creavey: I supervised the whole thing, Mr Foyle. 342 items came out, and 342 went in. I checked every one of them against the entries in Mr Carmichael's ledger. What makes you so sure that something was taken? Foyle: Oh, no, I'm not, but, er, just wanted to be sure it was all here. Creavey: It's a funny way to spend the wr, wet-nursing a bunch of Old Masters. Can't even look at most of them, but they're all here. All accounted for. Foyle: Good. Creavey: Was your Mr Davies a magician? Foyle: I don't think so. Creavey: Then he couldn't have spirited anything away. Andrew's Spitfire in flight. Plotters' office. Roberts studies the radar screen. Roberts: I think I've got him, sir. Graeme: Range? Roberts: 30 Miles, bearing 2-4-0, height 600. Graeme: Right, lock onto him. Roberts: There. Graeme: Well done, Roberts. She smiles. Airfield. The Spitfire comes in to land. Later. Roberts is watching the mechanics check the plane. Andrew (offscreen): Hello again. Roberts: Oh, it's you. You startled me. Andrew: Is it my imagination, or is everyone a bit jumpy around here? Roberts: We're all on edge, it's true, but then, there's so much at stake. Some people say the Luftwaffe's finished, that they're no match for our boys. And I want to believe it, but I don't think it's true. I can feel them out there like a great big shadow getting nearer every day, and I just wonder how we're ever going to stand up to them. Andrew: You sighted me today. Roberts: We're getting there. Andrew: I'll make it more difficult for you tonight. Roberts: It's wonderful, the way you're helping us. I bet you can't wait to join a squadron, though. Andrew: I want to get out there, yes, but I'll get my chance. Roberts: I think you're very brave. They start walking back together. Roberts: Is it true what you said, your father being a policeman? Andrew: Yes. Why do you ask? Roberts: Just wondered, that's all. Andrew: Just wondered? Roberts: Yes. Andrew: There wasn't something you wanted to tell me, was there? We were interrupted at lunch. Roberts: No. Andrew: Oh, for heaven's sake, Anne, what is it? Why are you so afraid? Roberts: I'm not. Andrew: I can feel it here. Everyone seems to be so nervous. And it isn't just Jerry. You were telling me about your friend. Lucy, wasn't it? Roberts: Yes. Andrews: You didn't tell me how she died. Roberts: Well... Well, it was horrible. She committed su1c1de. Andrew: Here? Roberts: In Brighton. She was my best friend. I felt terrible when it happened. It was all so wrong. Andrew: Wrong? Roberts: The way she was bullied and pushed and... I shouldn't talk about it. It doesn't matter. Andrew: Of course it matters. What do you mean about her being pushed? Roberts: It was just a manner of speaking. Andrew: You were asking me about my father. Is there something you want me to say to him, something he ought to know? Roberts: No. I was just interested, that's all. Lucy hated it here. The work was too much for her, and the waiting. In the end, she cracked. We're not meant to talk about it. I shouldn't have mentioned it at all. She notices Keller watching them from the window. Roberts: I'm sorry. I have to go. She hurries back in, leaving Andrew out on the airfield. Keller (voiceover): You were talking about her, weren't you, Sergeant Roberts? Roberts stands to attention in front of Keller's desk. Keller: I saw the two of you together for a second time. I'll be talking to Foyle later, so you might as well tell me the truth. Roberts: We did mention her, sir. Keller: Why? Roberts: He asked me about her. Keller: And what did you say? Roberts: I didn't say anything. That's the truth, sir. Keller: At ease, sergeant. He stands up and comes around the desk. Keller: Look, we all felt as bad about Lucy as you did, but you have to see it in context. I told you at the time, we cannot allow anything to get in the way of our work or, more importantly, our working as a team. Ever since Lucy did what she did, morale has been sht to pieces, and to be frank, it's been reflected in our results. That's the main reason why Pilot Officer Foyle is here. If we keep going over old ground, it'll just make things worse. Roberts: I do know that, sir. Keller: Look, I know it's been tough on you. You were the closest to her. And that's why I've come to a decision which I hope will help you get over it. Roberts: What decision? Keller: I've had a request from Ventnor. He goes back round to sit behind the desk again. Keller: They're one man short, and they need an experienced plotter. I've recommended you. You're to be transferred with immediate effect from tomorrow. Roberts: Ventnor? Keller: The Isle of Wight. Very much the front line. Roberts: But, sir, I'm happy here. Keller: No, I don't think you are. I think a change of scene will do you good. Roberts: Are you moving me because you're afraid I'll talk? Keller: That's all, sergeant. I'm moving you for the reasons I've just told you. Dismissed. Roberts: Yes, sir. She leaves the office. Evidence lock-up. Hugh Reid studies the damaged statuette. Hugh: What's this, then? Holding a sale of bric-a-brac? Foyle: Er, no, it's out of Davies's house, or what's left of it. Hugh: What, you think you're going to find the reason he was mrder here? Foyle: I'm beginning to think not. It seems the, um, the gallery has nothing whatsoever to do with it. Hugh: You sound tired. Foyle: It's 'cause I am. Just back from Wales, and I'm, er, gonna lose Sam, you know. He heads out of the lock-up and Hugh follows him. Hugh: What, your driver? Foyle: Yeah. Her father wants her back home. Hugh: Oh, lock up your daughters, eh? Suppose you can't blame him. I look at my own girls, and I'm only glad they're not old enough to serve. Foyle: You worried about it? Hugh: There are all sorts of horror stories doing the rounds. They arrive at Foyle's office. Hugh: Take the ATS. You know what they call the women? Foyle: Officers' groundsheets. He looks at the paperwork in a file on his desk. Hugh: Well, illegitimate births are up, and arrests of teenaged girls this year have sht up. Foyle: Yeah, well, I'm sure Sam is gonna be as safe as houses in Lyminster. Hugh: Yes, I'm sorry. Foyle rubs his forehead. Foyle: D'you know, I've had enough of this. I'm going home. I'm not getting anywhere with it. Hugh: Is Andrew at home tonight? Foyle: No. He's on some sort of operation or other. Hugh: Then why not come out for a drink? I'm buying. Foyle: Oh. Make a nice change, Hugh. Hugh chuckles. Hugh: Liquid inspiration. Foyle: All right. Good idea. They leave the office. Night. The Spitfire soars into the sky. Plotters' office. Holdsworth watches the radar. Holdsworth: Bearings 3-0-0, range 28 Miles. Andrew continues flying. Plotter's office. Holdsworth: Sir, I'm not getting any IFF response. Graeme: What? Holdsworth: There's no trace, sir. Graeme: If his IFF isn't switched on, he'll be sht out of the sky. He turns to Roberts behind him. Graeme: See if you can get him on the radio. Roberts: Base to target Spitfire. Base to target Spitfire. Do you read me? Over. Spitfire cockpit. Andrew: This is target Spitfire to base- whoa! Jesus! There are flashes of gn around the plane. Plotters' office. Andrew (radio): Base, what the hell's going on? I'm coming under fre. Graeme: Foyle, you're not transmitting an IFF signal. Put your bloody parrot on. Over! Holdsworth: Sir, he's losing height. Spitfire cockpit. Andrew: Spitfire to base. IFF is on. Confirm! Base? Holdsworth Height 600 feet. Graeme: We still have no signal, Foyle. Over. Spitfire cockpit. More gn bursts around the plane. Andrew: Jesus. The plane goes into a dive. Plotters' office. Holdsworth: I've lost him, sir. Graeme: Base to target Spitfire. Base to target Spitfire. Come in, please. Do you read me? Over. Radio static. Graeme: Base to target Spitfire. Base to target Spitfire. Come in, please. Do you read me? Over. Still only radio static. Holdsworth: I'm sorry, sir. He's gone. He's not there anymore. The radar screen is blank. Daylight. A vehicle carrying logs drives up to the manor. Andrew is sitting in the back. Graeme (voiceover): All in all, I'd say you were very fortunate, Foyle. At least you're still in one piece. Keller's office. Andrew: I don't quite see it that way, sir. What happened to my IFF? Graeme: It malfunctioned. These things happen. I'm very sorry. Engine vibration probably broke up some of the carbon elements in the unit with the result that we didn't receive an identifying pulse. Nor did anyone else, so naturally it was assumed you were an enemy aircraft, and you came under fre. Andrew: They bloody nearly sht me down. Graeme: The fact they didn't does you credit. Andrew: Yes, sir. Well, as soon as the ack-ack fre started, I realised I had to get down as fast as I could. I was lucky there was a bit of a moon. I put down in a farm about six Miles away. Keller: How come you lost radio contact? Andrew: I knocked myself out. Someone had put a haystack in the field. Graeme: But you're unhurt? Andrew: I bruised my head, but otherwise I'm okay. Graeme: You did very, very well. No one could have done better. If you ask me, you deserve a spot of leave. 48 hours. Andrew: I'm still puzzled, sir. The parrot was working when I took off. It had been fine throughout the day. Graeme: Well, I've explained. Andrew: You don't think it might have been... tampered with? Keller: What are you suggesting, Foyle? Graeme: Who would want to do a thing like that? Andrew: I don't know. It was just a thought. Graeme: A crazy one. Maybe that bump on the head has affected you more than you think. Keller: All right, Foyle, that's enough. You're dismissed. Andrew: Sir. Graeme: You get some rest. Andrew heads out through the manor. He spots Holdsworth passing by. Andrew: Excuse me. You're Jane, aren't you? Holdsworth: Yes. Andrew: Have you seen Anne? Holdsworth: She's gone. Andrew: Gone where? Holdsworth: I don't know. She's been transferred. Andrew: You mean she's gone permanently? Holdsworth: I suppose so. Andrew: When did this happen? Holdsworth: It was all very sudden. She was packing her bags yesterday evening just before you took off. Andrew: Thanks. Holdsworth walks on. Andrew glances back towards Keller's office, the moves on. Royal Victoria hotel. Foyle (voiceover): You wanted to see me about your daughter, Mr Stewart? He and Iain Stewart stand by one of the tables in the hotel restaurant. Iain: Er, it was Samantha who wanted me to talk to you, Mr Foyle. I really have nothing to say. Foyle: Oh. Well, I, er, I've come over here because Samantha hoped I might, er, be able to change your mind. But if I'm wasting your time- Iain: No, I'm sorry. I spoke rather rudely just now. Please, sit down. Foyle: Thank you. Iain: Will you...? He offers Foyle tea. Foyle: No. Iain: So, how has Samantha been getting on? Foyle: Oh, she's doing very well. She's very popular. Iain: Well, I do appreciate that she does seem to have taken rather a liking to her work with you, though I did say to her it does seem rather an odd field of activity in which to find herself. Foyle: Police work? Iain: I don't mean to cause offense. Foyle: None taken. No, I couldn't agree more. People are being kll in bmb raids every day of the week, and we spend all our time trying to solve small domestic mrder. Er, you're absolutely right. In fact, it's why I keep asking to be transferred. But on the other hand, should we be ignoring innocent victims simply because we're in the middle of a wr? Iain: Oh, no, of course not. Foyle: And, um, as for your daughter being involved, um, it wasn't my choice. Er, nor in fact was it hers. In fact, she was transferred from the MTC, er, simply because I was short-staffed. Iain: Oh, I understand completely. But at the same time, I do need her with me. Her mother's not well. I'm very much on my own. I'm more in demand than I ever was, and people seem to turn to the church more in a time of wr. And if I'm to be honest, it's my personal feeling that Samantha would be better off at home. Foyle: Well, I'd rather my son were at home too, Mr Stewart, so I understand as well. But, er, I'm not going to argue with you when I can see very well that you've made up your mind. Iain: Mr Foyle? Where is your son? Foyle: My son is, er, with the RAF. He's a pilot. Police station. Andrew hurries up to the front desk and rings the bell. Milner is just coming down the staircase behind him. Milner: Hello? Can I help you? Andrew: I'm looking for DCS Foyle. Milner: You're Andrew? Andrew: Yes. Milner: I thought you might be. I'm Paul Milner. I work with your father. You've got your wings. Congratulations. Andrew: Thanks. Milner: I wish I could be in your shoes. Andrew: Not at the moment. Milner: Why, is something wrong? Andrew: Apart from someone trying to kll me, no, I'm fine. Milner: I'm sorry? Andrew: Look, I shouldn't have said that. I just need to talk to my father. Do you have any idea when he'll be in? Milner: Well, it could be any time. Er, you're welcome to wait for him here. Andrew: No. I'm going home. Tell him he can find me there, will you? He heads back out. Milner: Yes. Are you sure I can't help? Andrew: No. Thanks. Milner: Er, I'll see you again. Andrew: I hope so. As Andrew is leaving the police station, a car pulls up and Henderson gets out. Henderson: Pilot Officer Foyle? Andrew: Yes? Henderson: Er, my name's Henderson. I'm with Special Branch. Could you get in the car, please? Andrew: Why? Henderson: I'd prefer not to talk here, sir. If you could just get in. Andrew: Er, no, sorry. I'm meeting my father. Henderson: Well, we'll contact your father in due course, Mr Foyle. Will you please get in the car? Andrew: No, I won't. Henderson: Andrew Foyle, you're suspected of conspiring to assist the enemy in contravention of the defence regulations, and I'm placing you under arrest. Now get in. Andrew gets into the car. Police station. Foyle and Sam are just on their way in. Milner: Sir, your son was here just a few minutes ago. Foyle: Why was he here? Henderson: He wants to see you, and I think it's urgent. He's waiting for you at home. Sam: Sir, last drive? Foyle: Thank you, Sam. He and Sam head back out. Foyle house. The front door is standing open as Sam and Foyle arrive in the car. Foyle gets out and heads in to find Henderson and his associates searching the place. Foyle: Who are you? What are you doing in my house? Henderson: I have a warrant to search the house, Mr Foyle. Henderson, Special Branch. Foyle: Where's my son? Henderson: Your son is currently being held under arrest, sir. Foyle: What for? Henderson: Your son is suspected of being in possession of certain documents of such a nature that their dissemination would be a breach of the defence regulations. Foyle: Total rubbish. I want to see him. Henderson: I'm afraid that won't be possible, sir, until we've had a chance to question him. Foyle: Where is he? Henderson: That information is classified. I don't need to tell you, sir, how serious, how extremely serious this offense is. I'll report back just as soon as there's anything to say. Foyle's office. Foyle is on the phone. Foyle: Richard, Richard, all he told me was that he's involved in some test on the south coast. Yes, well, of course it's secret. If it wasn't secret, I wouldn't be calling you, would I? You're in Whitehall! You must know. Milner comes into the room. Foyle: I just want to know where he is. Look, my son in possession of secret documents is obviously ridiculous. This is obviously a mistake. Please do. Thank you. He hangs the phone up. Milner: I can't find anyone who knows anything about a Henderson at Special Branch, although these days that's not surprising, they've got so many different divisions. I've got a friend at Scotland Yard, and, er, I'll get onto him, see if he can dig anything up. Foyle: Yeah, thank you. Er, you shouldn't get involved in any of this. Listen, I'm obviously not gonna be around for a couple of days, so you should take over this Davies business. Er, this gallery has obviously got something to do with it, and for what it's worth, I don't like the curator. Milner: A kller? Foyle: Thief, maybe. Are you finished at the Davies house? Milner: Yes, sir. We've got all the bits and pieces here. If there was a painting or a drawing hidden somewhere, it was probably destroyed in the fre. Foyle: Yeah. This, erm, this ice-cream seller. Milner: Harold Smith. Foyle: Yeah. Didn't believe him, did you? Milner: About the break-in and the locket being stolen? No. Foyle: No. He seemed to be more worried about the fact we'd found it rather than being pleased to see it. Milner: Perhaps there's a link between him and Davies that we don't know about. Foyle: Yeah, quite possibly. And the daughter, did we get her name? Milner: No, just that she fell under a train. Foyle: Yeah, well, did she fall, or was she pushed? And, er, could she possibly have been having an affair with Davies, do you think? Milner: Well, could explain how he got hold of the locket. Foyle: But not why he had it in his hand when he opened the door. We need to find out more about her and how she died. Milner: Yes, sir. And, er, if I hear anything about Henderson, I'll let you know. Foyle: Thank you. Hugh Reid approaches Foyle as he's leaving the office. Hugh: Christopher, any news? Foyle: Not a thing. Hugh: Same here. I called the Commissioner. I asked a couple of questions, and the world caved in on my head. He said it was none of my damn business and more or less read me the entire Official Secrets Act. Foyle: Well, thank you for trying. Hugh: Now, Andrew definitely said somebody tried to kll him? He's young. He could be imagining it. Foyle: He's not that imaginative. Hugh: Well, he'll turn up in due course. Whatever he's supposed to have done, they can't keep him locked up for good. I don't think there's much more we can do. Foyle: He mentioned a girl. Hugh: A girl? Foyle: Name is Anne, has an aunt with a flower shop. Hugh: That's not much to go on. Foyle: In Hastings. Hugh: Ah, well, there's something. I'll get somebody onto it. Foyle: Thank you. Hugh: And just be careful. I don't want you arrested as well. Foyle: Yes, yes. Yeah. He leaves the station. The manor. Andrew (voiceover): This is ridiculous. The whole thing is completely crazy. He's seated in a barred cell opposite Henderson. Keller paces back and forth. Keller: Have you any idea of the seriousness of the charges against you? Andrew: Yes. Mr Henderson has told me. Keller: We could be talking treason! Andrew: We're talking nonsense! Henderson: These documents were discovered missing at 0600 hours this morning. Andrew: Yes? Henderson: They contain a detailed analysis of the most recent tests made on the radar system at this station. They could give the enemy vital information about the strengths and weaknesses of our entire coastal defence. Andrew: I didn't take them. Henderson: They were found in your locker. Andrew: Well, somebody must have put them there. Keller: And who would do that? Andrew: You tell me. Henderson: Tell us about Bruce Leighton-Morris, Mr Foyle. Andrew: What? Henderson: Bruce Leighton-Morris. Your friend from Oxford. Andrew: Why do you want to know? Henderson: When did you last see him? Andrew: A couple of days ago. He drove me down here. Er, and we had lunch. What's Bruce got to do with this? He's down here to make a film about fuel conservation. Henderson: Why did he give you money? Andrew: He didn't. Henderson: I was watching, Mr Foyle. Mr Leighton-Morris has been under surveillance for some time now. You met him. He produced his wallet. Andrew: Well, he paid for lunch. He took out his wallet and paid for lunch! Henderson: Don't play the innocent with us, Mr Foyle. Communist Party of Great Britain. That's where you met him. You were in the Communist Party at Oxford. You joined in the summer of 1938. Andrew: For heaven's sake, it was nothing. It was... It was like a club. After Spain, a lot of us felt... The communists were fighting the nzi before we were! Anyway, I only went to half a dozen meetings. I lost interest. Keller: You kept your membership. Andrew: I'd forgotten all about it. Henderson: We hadn't. Andrew: Look, you can't keep me here. I want to speak to my father or at least to my commanding officer. This is crazy. Henderson: You're not seeing anyone, Mr Foyle, until you start answering some questions. Andrew: This has got nothing to do with me! He knows! He looks at Keller. Keller: I'll tell you what I know, Foyle. A number of extremely sensitive documents have gone missing and have been found in your possession. You turn out to be a self-confessed member of the Communist Party and are seen taking money from a prominent communist agitator who has since disappeared. Henderson: Now, let's start from the beginning, shall we? Street outside Foyle's house. Anne Roberts walks up and knocks on the front door. Foyle answers it. Roberts: Excuse me. Foyle: Yes? Roberts: I wanted to see... Is Andrew here? Andrew Foyle? Foyle: No, I'm afraid he isn't. Roberts: Oh. Right. I shouldn't really have come anyway. I'm sorry. Foyle: Er, you're Anne, aren't you? I'm sorry. I don't know your surname. He works with you? He's mentioned you. Roberts: I really can't stay. Foyle: Please, listen. I think he's in trouble, and I need some help to find him. Would you please come in? Please. She comes into the house and closes the door. Front room. Roberts: I can't tell you anything. You must understand, I signed the Official Secrets Act. If they found out I was even here I could be sent to prison. Foyle: Well, when did you last see him? Roberts: Two days ago. Foyle: And did you know what had happened to him? Roberts: I only met him a couple of times. I hardly know him. If he's been arrested, well, there must be a reason. Foyle: Well, why have you come here? Roberts: I wanted to see him. I wanted to say goodbye. Foyle: Oh, you're leaving? Roberts: They've made me. Foyle: And why is that? Roberts: I can't tell you. I can't tell you anything. If they knew it was me... Foyle: Yeah, I don't- I don't understand why you're so frightened. Roberts: It's not the work, it's something that happened before Andrew came. Foyle: Look, it's clear you know something, so I don't want you to just leave here without at least helping me in the next step of the way. Roberts: Andrew's commanding officer is a man called Graeme, Group Captain Alastair Graeme. He lives here in Hastings. He shouldn't be hard to find. But please, I never gave you his name. Foyle: No, of course. Um, where are they sending you? Can you tell me that? Roberts: No. But, er, when you find Andrew, tell him- well, just say good luck from me. She leaves. Sam and Foyle are parked on a street watching a row of houses. Sam: Why don't we just go in? Foyle: We can't. Well, he hasn't done anything. And if I was to ask him about Andrew, he wouldn't tell me anyway. Why should he? Sam: Well, we could follow him back to where he's based. Foyle: We'd get arrested as spies. Sam: I'm gonna miss all this. Foyle: Are you? Sam: I've enjoyed working with you, sir. I'm sorry I've been... Foyle: Been what? Sam: You know. Foyle: Yep. She gives him a sidelong look. Foyle: No, you've been fine, Sam. Sam: Is that him there? Graeme comes out of one of the doors. Foyle: Could be. Looks like it. Here we go. Sam starts the engine. Sam and Foyle followed Graeme round a corner close to the Lower Red Lion pub. Sam: Isn't this the pub where we interviewed Joyce Davies? Foyle: Yes. Henley Terrace is just around the corner. You wait here? Sam: Sir, why don't you let me do it? Isn't there more chance he'd talk to a girl? Foyle: You think so? Sam: Well, if I can catch him alone having a drink, he might give me a clue. Foyle: All right. Be careful. She smiles and salutes before getting out of the car. Foyle smiles and raises his eyebrows a little, clearing his throat as he sits back to wait. Pub interior. A barmaid is pouring a pint as Graeme lights a cigarette. Barmaid: There we are, sir. Graeme: Thanks awfully. Sam approaches the bar. Barmaid: What'll it be, miss? Sam: Er, I'll have a, a glass of sherry, please. Graeme: Let me get you that. Sam: I'm sorry? Graeme: On your own? Sam: Yes. Graeme: I hate to see a lady buying herself a drink. Sam: Oh. Thank you very much, sir. Very kind. Graeme: Cigarette? Sam: Mmm. She takes one from his cigarette case and he lights it for her. Graeme: You ATS? Sam: No, MTC. Barmaid Your sherry, miss. Sam: How about you? Well, RAF, obviously, but which bit? Graeme: My name's Alastair. Sam: I'm Samantha, but everyone calls me Sam. Graeme: Cheers. She clinks glasses with him. Graeme: I didn't know there were any MTC sections round here. Sam: Well, actually, I'm on leave. I only got home today. Graeme: Meeting someone? Sam: No, there is no one, Just me. Graeme: I find that very surprising. Sam: Do you fly? Graeme: I used to. Sam: Well, you don't look like a pilot. You look too important. Graeme: Ha! I'll take that as a compliment. Sam: You're a Group Captain? Graeme: Why do you want to know? Sam: Well, it's just I'd love to get in the WAAF. I mean, the MTC is fine, but the work is a bit grubby. Mostly it's just form-filling. Graeme: Well, we're all making our own contributions. I'm sure yours is as valuable as anyone else's. Sam: Hmm. Yes, but I'd, I'd love to be near planes and all that. Where are you based? Graeme: What was your name again? Sam: Samantha Stewart. Graeme: MTC. He moves to put an arm around Sam's shoulders. Graeme: You know, my dear, when a good-looking, well-developed young girl like you comes into a bar on her own, well, that's one thing. But when she starts asking questions, name, rank, serial number, that's when a chap has to start asking himself, "What's her game?" Sam: I- Graeme: Especially when that girl seems to have deliberately followed him in. Sam: I did no such thing. Graeme: I'm sure you didn't, but that's a loose tongue you have. A very loose tongue, and I think you should be careful what you do with it. So, it was very nice to meet you, and I hope you enjoyed the drink, but I think it's time you were on your way. He drops his hand from her shoulder and Sam yelps in shock. She gasps and turns to look at him indignantly before heading out of the pub. Sam returns to the car and gets in. Foyle: What happened? Sam: I didn't get anything out of him, sir. He rumbled me straight away. Foyle: What is it? You all right? Sam: Actually, he... pinched me. Foyle: He did what? Sam: You know. Quite hard. It really hurt. Foyle moves to get out of the car. Foyle: I'll have a word with him. Sam: No, no, no. It'd only confirm his suspicions. Maybe Dad was right. Perhaps I ought to write to the Association of Moral Hygiene. She starts the car and they drive off. Lower Red Lion, night. Graeme emerges and heads home. As he goes into the house, someone is standing out on the street watching him. Graeme house. Graeme puts his hat down. His wife Elizabeth is sitting doing needlework. Elizabeth: You were a long time. Graeme: Not really. Elizabeth: It's a shame you have to go out so much. I see little enough of you as it is. Graeme: Really, Elizabeth, I was only an hour. Elizabeth: Two. What do you think? She shows him her needlework. Graeme: Very nice. He sits back in the armchair opposite. Elizabeth: It's going to be a raffle prize. You know, with all the other activities, we'll soon have made enough to buy our own Spitfire. Graeme: Hmm. Elizabeth: Oh, and did I tell you? Kate has asked me to help her set up a local housewives' group. Graeme: No, you didn't say. Elizabeth: Kate is marvellous. She's indefatigable. The doorbell rings. Graeme: Who's that at this hour? Elizabeth: I'll go, if you like. Graeme: No, you stay here. A classical tune comes on the wireless. Elizabeth: Oh, I know this. There's the sound of the front door opening. Graeme (offscreen): I don't know you. What do you want? What? Elizabeth: Alastair, who is it? Graeme takes a gasping breath and there's a faint thump. Elizabeth gets up to go to the door. Elizabeth: Alastair? She sees him lying on the floor, clutching at a Knfe stuck through his chest. She screams as his head sags backwards. Police station. Iain Stewart approaches the front desk. Iain: Er, excuse me. Desk Officer: Sir? Iain: I've come to pick up my daughter. Samantha Stewart? Milner approaches the desk. Milner: Hello, sir. I'm Sergeant Milner. I work with Sam. Iain: How do you do? They shake hands. Milner: She isn't in yet, I'm afraid. Um, would you like to come through? Milner's office. He opens the door to let Iain inside. Milner: You're welcome to wait in my office. She should be along soon. We're going to miss her. Iain: I'm sure. Oh, what's all this? He sees the items recovered from the Davies house on Milner's desk. Milner: Oh, it's from a house that was just bmb. It's all junk. Iain: What? Excuse me, er, Sergeant Milner. He picks up the broken statuette. Iain: This statuette is by Francois Berault. Milner: I'm sorry, sir? Iain: It's a tragedy. It's been broken, I presume in the bmb, but this is wonderful. It's a Berault. Milner picks up a small booklet and reads something. Milner: The French impressionist. He did sketches and drawings. Iain: That's right, but he was also a sculptor - figures, horses. This is a petite danseuse. It's about 1880. Milner: How do you know, sir? Iain: Well, I studied art at university before I found my vocation. I've always maintained an interest. Milner: And you're sure that this is by Berault? Iain: Yes. Yes. I, I actually saw it once, or something very like it in London, in the- in the Whittington collection. Milner: Mr Stewart, how much do you think a figure like this would be worth? Iain: Well, it's broken, but many thousands of pounds, I should imagine. Sam arrives in the office doorway. Sam: Dad. What are you doing? Iain: Well, I've come to collect you. Foyle steps up behind her in the doorway. Foyle: Oh, I'm afraid you can't have her yet, sir. She's needed. Sam, follow me. He moves off again and Sam follows. Sam and Foyle drive through Hastings. Elizabeth (voiceover): They were playing Schubert on the wireless. Foyle is seated in an armchair in her front room. Elizabeth: We went to a concert in Venice on our honeymoon, and it was the same piece. Foyle: You were married a long time? Elizabeth: Er, 21 years. Foyle: Children? Elizabeth: Two sons, both in the RAF. Foyle: I understand your husband was a serving officer. Lot of responsibility? Elizabeth: I can't talk about that! Foyle: But, um, was it the case? Elizabeth: I- I can't discuss his work. Foyle: Mrs Graeme, I'm sure you'd like to help us find your husband's kller. Elizabeth: Well, of course I want to help. Of course I do, but... But you must understand that I can't tell you anything about what he was doing. I'm not allowed to. No. His people will come here. I'll talk to them. Foyle leaves the house, shaking his head. Foyle: Nothing. Sam is waiting by the car. A military vehicle pulls up behind her. Keller and another man in RAF uniform get out. Sam: Sir, couldn't it have been a woman who did this? I mean, after what happened last night in the pub, I wouldn't be surprised if there were one or two who wouldn't gladly stick a Knfe in him. Keller: Are you Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle? Foyle: Yes. Keller: My name's Keller. Wing Commander Martin Keller. I was working with Group Captain Graeme, and his mrder falls under the jurisdiction of the RAF Police. Foyle: You've got my son. Keller: Who told you that? Foyle: I want to see him. Keller: Well, that's not possible. Anyway, I'm afraid this takes priority. Foyle: You don't feel they're connected? Keller: Well, I'll be taking over this investigation, so it's my job to find out. Foyle: Well, you're a bit late. I already know who klled him and why he was klled. Keller: Tell me. Foyle: Not until I've seen my son. Andrew's cell at the manor. He's sitting on the bed. Footsteps approach and a guard unlocks it. Foyle (offscreen): Andrew? Andrew: Dad? Foyle: How are you? Andrew: All right. I'm glad you're here. Foyle enters the cell and the guard closes the door behind him. Foyle: Well, this is a complete bloody mess, isn't it? Andrew: You're telling me. Foyle: Well, you never mentioned your Communist Party membership to me. Andrew: I'm not. I mean, I was, but I'm not ashamed of it. Foyle: When were you ever interested in politics? Andrew: After Franco. Foyle: Oh, yeah? Andrew: Well, all right. Wasn't quite as simple as that. You see, there was this girl... Foyle rolls his eyes. Foyle: I see. Another one. Andrew: I didn't take those documents, Dad. Foyle: I know you didn't take the documents, but somebody's taken the documents, and they've put them in your locker, haven't they? Andrew: Yeah. But a lot of strange things have been going on around here even before I got posted. A girl klled herself. Lucy. Whittington Gallery. Milner (voiceover): You have a lorry. It was driven by a man called Graham Davies, and I believe it's still here. I'd like to see it, please. A garage door opens to reveal the lorry. Two men open the doors at the back of the lorry for Milner to look inside. Milner (voiceover): We haven't met before, sir. My name is Milner. Sergeant Milner. You spoke to my senior officer, DCS Foyle. Milner finds a compartment under one of the seats in the back of the lorry. Milner (voiceover): I'd like you to come with me to Westminster police station. Carmichael's office. Carmichael: What for? Milner: Because I'm arresting you for theft. Carmichael: Theft? Milner: A priceless work of art from this collection. Carmichael: I'm sorry, Mr Milner. I think you must be mistaken. There's nothing missing. Milner: Yes, that's what it looks like, but we've recovered a statuette belonging to this gallery from the wreckage of Graham Davies' house. Carmichael: Ah. Milner: It was Davies who stole it, but he couldn't have done it without your help. I assume you were paying him and that he would have returned it to you had he not been klled. Everything you told DCS Foyle was true, except that your security arrangements weren't quite as foolproof as you made out. The shorthand, for example: S for sketch. It could also mean S for statuette, couldn't it? Carmichael: You tell me. Flashback to the artworks being packed away. Milner (voiceover): There was a sketch that showed three dancers on a single sheet of paper. There was also a statuette of a dancer made by Berault in his old age. Graham Davies shows the statuette to Carmichael and gets a subtle nod. Then he takes it out to the van. Milner (voiceover): Graham Davies was the only one who actually climbed into the van. The first Berault, the statuette, went into a compartment underneath the seat. Davies packs the statuette into a box inside the compartment. Milner (voiceover): The next Berault was the sketch. A man brings a cardboard folder out to Davies in the van. Milner (voiceover): Unlike the paintings, the drawings and the sketches weren't crated up, perhaps deliberately. Davies pulls a curtain across to cover the inside of the van and takes the sketch out of its protective folder. Milner (voiceover): Once again, Davies chose his moment well. Davies lays the sketch down. On one side of the paper is a pair of ballerinas, on the other side a third. He uses a ruler and Knfe to divide it into two separate pictures. Milner (voiceover): The single sketch became two sketches. I'd say that was an act of wanton vandalism. Carmichael's office: Milner: So. Two dancers by Berault went into the lorry, and two dancers by Berault came out of it at the other end. It was as if the statuette had never existed. And then what? You'd wait until the wr was over. Dorothy Whittington would probably be dad. Who would notice that one of her masterpieces was missing? According to the records, nothing would be missing. And then you'd sell it. Carmichael: Oh, no, sergeant, I wouldn't sell it. You can't sell a masterpiece by Francois Berault without people noticing. Milner: What, then? Carmichael: You wouldn't understand. Just to have it. That would be enough. You can't imagine what it would be like to own something so beautiful. Milner: Well, it isn't beautiful any more, sir. Thanks to you, it was destroyed. Shall we go? Royal Victoria hotel. Sam and her father walk out of the hotel together, Sam carrying a suitcase. Sam: You're quite sure about this, Dad? Iain: Oh, yes, I think so. Sam speaks to the driver of a taxi waiting out in front. Sam: Station, please. She puts the suitcases in the back. Sam: It's good to see you. Iain: You take care of yourself, my dear. I don't doubt you're in safe hands with Mr Foyle, but even so, these are unhealthy times. Sam: Absolutely. But don't worry, I'll take care. He mouths the words "All right." Iain: Goodbye. He kisses her on the cheek. Sam: Send my love to Mother. Iain gets into the taxi and Sam watches it drive away. Foyle's office. Foyle: Excellent, Milner. Milner: Thank you, sir. Foyle: Confession? Milner: Carmichael's at Westminster police station doing just that. Someone will have to tell Mrs Whittington about her figurine, though. Foyle: Well, another casualty of the wr. Milner: Hmm. Foyle: Harold Smith? Milner: They were lying about their daughter Lucy. She didn't fall under a train. Foyle: She jumped. Milner: Exactly. There's a knock on the office door. Foyle: Yes? Sam walks in, smiling. Sam: Hello. Foyle: You're still here? Sam: I'm afraid it's not quite that easy to get rid of me. My father's changed his mind. Foyle: So you persuaded him? Sam: Er, no, sir. In fact, um, it was you and Sergeant Milner. He was so excited to have helped solve a crime, it revised his opinion of the whole thing, and he decided that perhaps after all I was doing an important job and that I, I should stay. Foyle: Well, that's wonderful. We don't have to walk. Sam and Milner laugh. Their car pulls up in front of Smith house. Harold (voiceover): I thought I'd be seeing you again, Mr Foyle. Foyle and Milner are in the Smiths' front room. Foyle: You know why I'm here? Harold: To arrest me. Foyle: And you probably know why. Harold: I'm not gonna deny it. Enid: Harold... Harold: There, there, come on. I said it might end like this. Foyle: With the mrder of an innocent man. Harold: Graeme deserved to die. My Lucy was nineteen when she went to work for that man. Just nineteen years old. And she was so proud, you know, to be helping our boys. And you know what he did? Enid: She didn't know what she was doing. She didn't know anything about... that sort of thing. Harold: He forced himself on her. She was young enough to be his daughter, for God's sake. He forced himself on her, and he made her have relations with him up against the wall. You know why? He told her she wouldn't get pregnant that way. The worst of it... The worst of it was, she couldn't tell us anything. Not about her work, not about what was happening, because they made her sign the Official Secrets Act. It was all too important, too secret. And he knew that too, of course. When he found out she was pregnant, that she was carrying his child, he put the fear of God into her. Enid managed to wheedle some of it out of her, enough for the two of us to work it out. By then it was too late. Lucy couldn't bear the shame. She decided to put an end to it. Her and the baby. She threw herself in front of that train. There's nothing innocent about a man like that. Foyle: Mr Smith, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the first person you mrder, who may have been a petty crook, but as far as your daughter's concerned, he was totally innocent. Harold: That was a mistake. I never meant that to happen, Mr Foyle. That was a dreadful, dreadful mistake. Foyle: I know. Harold: I decided to have my revenge on Group Captain Graeme. Flashback to Harold taking Lucy's necklace and putting it around his neck. Harold (voiceover): I didn't see it as mrder. It was punishment. A man like that, what he'd done, he deserved to die. Enid stands behind him and lays a hand on his shoulder. Hastings, night. Harold makes his way along a darkened street. Harold (voiceover): The road signs had been taken down. I didn't know Hastings anyway. The blackout made it difficult to see anything, so I had to ask the way. Frank (voiceover): I was on my way home. It was half past ten, and this man came up to me. He asked the way to Henley Terrace, and I told him. Harold (voiceover): I knew I'd got the right number, number 10. I could see that. He knocks. Harold (voiceover): A man came to the door. Graham Davies opens the door. Davies: Yes? Harold: You Graeme? Davies: Yes. What do you want? Harold: Want you to have this, you bastard. He sab Davies. Davies clutches at him as he falls, and pulls the locket from his neck. Harold hurries away. Smith house. Harold: I've never met Alastair Graeme. I don't know what he looked like. He said he was Graeme. Milner: He was Graham, Mr Smith, but he was Graham Davies, not Group Captain Alastair Graeme. And while you knew that Alastair Graeme lived at number 10 Henley Crescent, Graham Davies lived at number 10 Henley Terrace, which is where you were directed to. Harold: I said Henley Crescent. I didn't know there was a Henley Terrace. Milner: Yes. We met the man you asked. He's very hard of hearing. Because he didn't hear what you said, he sent you to the wrong address. Foyle: How did you know Graeme's address in the first place? Enid: He wrote to us after our daughter's funeral. A note of condolence. It was on that. Foyle: But in spite of all of this, you still went back and tried again. Harold: I knew as soon as you found the locket, it was only a matter of time before you caught up with me. So yes, I had to get to him before you got to me. I know I'll be hanged. I deserve it. Enid: Oh! Harold: And I'm ashamed of it, and it'll be Graham Davies I'll be thinking of when they hang me. Enid: Harold, don't. Harold: I'm not ashamed about Alastair Graeme. I had to do it. I'm glad I did it. I don't see it as mrder. It's punishment. I just wish he'd suffered more. Enid: Harold, please. Harold: This was entirely my idea. Enid had nothing to do with it. Just leave her alone. Enid: No, Harold. I want to come with you. It's over. It was over the day Lucy died. Keller's office. Foyle: I'm here to collect my son. Is he still here? Keller: Yes. Yes, he's still here. Look, Mr Foyle, whatever you may think, I swear to you I've done absolutely nothing wrong. Foyle: Well, not entirely the case. You know exactly why Lucy Smith klled herself. You helped cover the whole thing up. Keller: You have to put this into context, Mr Foyle. Whatever his personal failings, Alastair Graeme was a first-class CO. He had a brilliant, scientific mind. I don't know anyone in the country who understood radar better than him. And remember, Mr Foyle, my first job, my first responsibility was to keep him in his rightful position, in command of this station. Foyle: By planting stolen documents in my son's locker? Keller: That wasn't me. Foyle: No, it was Graeme, but you allowed it to happen. He was terrified it was all going to come out, and he used the investigation to keep my son out of the way. Keller: I was against it. I was against the whole idea. Foyle: And what he did to Lucy Smith might not have been perhaps strictly criminal, but it was immoral, improper, and downright disgusting and would have cost him his job, not to mention his marriage. Keller: I'm not telling you again, Mr Foyle. I had no part in any of it. I was simply doing what I thought was best for the wr. Foyle: I'm sure a great many nzi are going to be saying exactly the same thing when this wr is over. I want Andrew released, and not a word of this is to go on his record. Andrew's cell. The guard unlocks the door. Andrew: Dad? Foyle: Come on. Andrew gets up and walks out of the cell. Andrew: You are brilliant, Dad, you know that? Foyle: Yep. Outside. Foyle and Andrew walk across the base together. Andrew: So you think I was imagining it? Foyle: Well, maybe. Andrew: I felt like Graeme was trying to kll me. Foyle: Well, I'm sure. Andrew: If it was him who planted the documents, surely it was him who sabotaged the IFF in my Spitfire? Foyle: No, I don't think it was sabotage. He didn't have access to the plane. He didn't want to kll you. He just wanted you out of the way. Andrew: So I sort of overreacted? Foyle: Well, wouldn't be the first time. Andrew: So what do we do now? Foyle: I don't know about you, but I'm going to have some lunch. There's the sound of planes approaching. As they both look round, the air-raid siren begins to sound. Andrew: Bloody hell, Dad. They're German! There are explsin as bmb ht the base nearby, and they start running. Man (offscreen): Run for cover! Andrew: Come on, Dad! In here! Man (offscreen): Get in the shelters! Andrew leads his father to a doorway covered by camouflage netting. They crouch down in the dark as the sound of further bmb continues above. Foyle: What's that smell? There's a close explsin outside. Foyle: You all right? Andrew lights a match so they can see. By its light, they can read the words 'Aviation Fuel, highly flammable' on a barrel nearby. Foyle: Blow it out, would you? Andrew blows the match out. There's another close explsin. Foyle: Why have you brought us to shelter in a fuel dump, Andrew? The bmb stop. Foyle and Andrew emerge from the fuel dump. A bell is ringing and someone is shouting instructions in the background. Foyle: Let's go. Through the smoke, a car can be seen approaching. Andrew: Dad, wait. Foyle: Here comes the cavalry. Sam drives up with Milner in the front seat. He opens the door so they can speak to Foyle. Sam: I was getting worried about you, sir. You all right? Foyle: Well, no thanks to this one. Andrew gets into the back of the car. Milner: Sir? Foyle: No, we'll go in the back. He gets in and the four of them drive away.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "01x04 - Eagle Day"}	foreverdreaming
Elms Road. Sam is bicycling along in her uniform. Moonlight Sonata plays in the background. She nods to an old woman in the front garden of one of the houses she passes. Neighbour: Hello, Sam. Sam gets off her bike at the next gate and wheels it towards the house. CAPTION: SEPTEMBER 1940 Inside. Sam closes the front door behind her and picks up the post as she comes in. She glances through a doorway to the front room where the piano playing is coming from. Sam: That's nice. A young woman, Jenny Wentworth, is at the piano. Jenny: Actually I was only playing it to annoy Mrs Harrison. The Moonlight Sonata. She says it's German music. Night. An air-raid siren sounds. Sam reluctantly rolls over in bed. Sam: Oh, no. The bedroom door opens and Jenny comes in with a candle. Jenny: Come on, Sam. We're going down to the cellar. Sam: Can't you just tell Jerry to come back later? Jenny sighs and heads back out. There's the whistle of a bmb and Jenny screams as it explodes. The window of Sam's bedroom is blown out and she falls out of bed. Outside. The house is on fre. A fre engine bell rings as Henry Jamieson's truck pulls up with members of the Auxiliary fre Service on board. Jamieson: Come on, lads, quickly. Lives to save. An ambulance is parked nearby. Doctor Redmund approaches the house owner, Mrs Harrison, where she stands clutching her pet tortoise. Harrison: Oh! Redmund: Oh, dear. Dear, dear, dear. What's your name? Harrison: Ha-Ha-Ha-Harrison. Redmund: Harrison. Harrison: M-Mrs Esther Harrison. My tortoise was... Redmund: No, no, he tortoise is fine. He's fine. You've got a few cuts and bruises. Why don't you come along to the hospital with me? Here we are. Harrison: Oh! Redmund: Oh, so sorry. He guides her away. Photographer Colin Morton approaches a warden. Morton: How many klled? Warden: Who are you? Morton: My name is Colin Morton. I'm with The Chronicle. Warden: One. They're carrying her out now. Two men are carrying a stretcher with a covered body. Morton takes a photograph. Jamieson stops near the warden. Jamieson: Anyone inside? Warden: Nope, we got 'em all out. Jamieson: Don't let anyone come in. Man: Mind your head! Morton takes more photographs of the scene as Jamieson heads into the house. Inside. Jamieson and another firefighter, Kenny Hunter, shine torches around the smoky interior. Jamieson: In here looks likely. Ken, stand on guard. Keep your eyes peeled. Kenny stays by the door. Jamieson looks around and spots a wooden box on the ground. Jamieson: Ah. He opens the box. Seeing that it's full of coins, he shovels them into his satchel and grins at Ken. OPENING CREDITS Crown Court, Hastings. Foyle walks through the corridors. One of the barristers, Arthur Lewes, calls out to him as he passes. Arthur: Christopher? I thought it was you. Arthur Lewes. Remember me? Foyle: Arthur, of course. What are you doing in Hastings? They shake hands. Arthur: Oh, I live here now. Er, bought a house a year ago. Romney Point. I was hoping I'd bump into you. In fact, I was talking about you only the other night. I don't suppose you've heard of a man called Howard Paige? Foyle: American. Something to do with cars. Arthur: Yes. He invented the synchro-mesh gear system. Made himself a fortune. He's coming to stay. Foyle: And you're gonna tell me he needs police protection? Arthur laughs. Arthur: No, no, nothing like that. He'll be in the house and I am throwing a dinner for him. Would you come? It's been suggested to me that he might like to meet a few of the local VIPs. Foyle: Can't imagine why you're inviting me, then. Arthur laughs. Arthur: I thought you'd say that. I want to give him an idea of what life's really like down here on the south coast. Um, actually, it's quite important. He's going back to Washington at the end of a week and, well, I don't need to tell you, the Americans are quite keen to know what's going on over here. I really would appreciate it, and I know Elizabeth would be more than happy to see you. Foyle: Yeah. Erm, how is she? Arthur: Oh, well, you can ask her yourself. She'll be here in a minute. Would eight o'clock be all right? Foyle: Yes, all right. Arthur: Oh, black tie, I'm afraid. Foyle: Yes, well, if I can find it. Arthur: Good man. Oh, here she is. Elizabeth Lewes approaches the two of them. Elizabeth: Christopher. Foyle: Elizabeth. He tips his hat. Elizabeth: Oh, this is a surprise. Arthur: He's agreed to join us for dinner tonight. Elizabeth: Oh, that's excellent. I'm afraid entertaining rich Americans isn't quite my forte. Arthur: Oh, nonsense. You'll be splendid. Elizabeth: So, how are you, Christopher? It's been a long time. Foyle: Hasn't it? I thought you were still in London. Elizabeth: Er, well, I never really took to London. Erm, but, of course, I'm glad we're not there now. Arthur: Yes, it's pretty bad. You know the palace took a ht? Foyle: Yes, I heard. Elizabeth: Well, they say the King was actually grateful to the Germans. Put him on the same level as everyone else. Arthur laughs. Arthur: A propaganda coup. Elizabeth: Well, I'm just happy to be back in Hastings. Arthur: Well, um, until tonight. Foyle: Yes, eight o'clock. Bye. He tips his hat at Elizabeth again. Elizabeth: Bye. As Foyle walks away, Milner comes up behind him. Milner: Sir. I thought I should come and find you. It's Sam. Elms Road. The house is a brned-out shell. A man is nailing up a sign warning of punishments for looting. The neighbour who greeted Sam is talking to another woman. Neighbour: Terrible, isn't it? Foyle and Milner approach Sam where she's sitting on some of the recovered furniture in the front garden. She's wearing a jacket over her nightdress. Foyle kneels in front of her. Foyle: Sam, are you all right? Sam: Oh, sir. Sorry I didn't report in for duty this morning, sir. She starts to stand and Foyle stands with her. Foyle: Couldn't matter less. Do sit down. She sits back down and he kneels down again. Milner: Are you all right? Sam: I'm all right. Foyle: You sure? Sam: I shouldn't be. I was lying in bed. They say it was a flying pencil. Foyle: Anybody hurt? Sam: Jenny Wentworth. I'm afraid she was klled. It's so unfair. She was a driver with the ambulance service. She only moved in here a couple of weeks ago. She was standing right outside my door. She was only a year older than me. 23. Foyle: Get her to the station, would you? Milner: Yes, sir. Sam: Actually, sir, I, I'd rather stay. Would you mind talking to Mrs Harrison? She was my landlady. This is her house. Mrs Harrison comes up to them clutching the wooden box. Her right arm is now in a sling. Harrison: Are you the policeman? Are you Mr Foyle? Foyle: Yes. Harrison: I want you to do something. My husband's coin collection - my late husband - he, he was a sub-editor on the Eastbourne Chronicle and a keen collector all his life. Milner: Are you saying the coins have been taken? Harrison: That's exactly what I'm saying. I kept them in a box on the mantelpiece. This is the box. She hands it to Foyle. Harrison: I found it on the floor, intact and empty. And the coins aren't the only thing that's gone missing, I assure you. There, there are some pieces of jewellery. A beautiful pearl necklace that belonged to my mother, a, a solid silver brooch. Foyle: Had these been valued? Harrison: No. But there were coins in there that dated back to the Normans. Jack always said it would be a nice nest egg for me. Foyle: And you kept them in the box? Harrison: It was his box. It was where he left them. Foyle: I'm very sorry about your house, Mrs Harrison. Harrison: We're at wr. It's to be expected. But this? The idea that somebody went in there looting last night... That I find hard to forgive. Foyle's office. Sam is now cleaned up and back in uniform. Foyle: What about finding somewhere else to live? Sam: I'll find something, sir. Milner comes into the room carrying a glass of some kind of alcohol. Foyle: And presumably there was a warden posted, wasn't there? Milner: Yes, sir. He had the house boarded up. He sets the glass down next to Sam. Foyle: And who actually went in, er, after the explsin? Sam: Just about the whole street was in at one time or another. It was total chaos. The ambulance service came first. Poor Jenny. Then there was a doctor. Doctor Redmund. He gave me a check-up. Foyle: Anybody else? Sam: The AFS. There were four of them. Then there was a photographer who turned up out of the blue. Foyle: Get a name? Sam: No. He was from The Chronicle, though. Milner: Harrison worked as a sub-editor there. Sam: Yes. Funny, I never knew that. I never knew anything about Mrs Harrison. She was just the landlady. I always thought she was a bit of a dragon. AFS station. Tom Fairweather is spinning a coin on the table. He reads the writing on it. Tom: Edward IV. Who's that? Bob Fraser sitting at the back. Jamieson comes over to join Tom and Ken at the central table. Jamieson: Edward the Fourth, you idiot. And I want that. Tom: I bet you do. Jamieson: It goes with the rest, like we agreed. Tom: I never agreed. Jamieson: Well, I did and that's all that matters. Tom? Tom tosses him the coin and he pockets it. Tom: Where'd you put it all, anyway? Jamieson: Somewhere nobody will ever find it. What's the matter with you, Kenny? Cat got your tongue? Kenny stands up. Kenny: I'm going home. As he goes to leave, Tom and Bob both move to block him, and Jamieson grabs his arm. Jamieson: Now that's not very friendly, is it, Kenny? Kenny: Leave off. My dad'll want to know where I've been. Jamieson: He worry about you, then, does he, your dad? Kenny: Look, we're taking too much. We're going to get caught. I heard this geezer talking in the pub. What we're doing, we could get hanged. Jamieson: That's rubbish. Kenny: It's true. They've got new regulations. I don't want to be a part of this any more. Jamieson: You are part of it, Kenny. You're in it up to your neck. Kenny leaves. Bob: What are you going to do about him? Tom: And his dad? Bob: You leave them to me. Richard Hunter's shop. Richard turns the sign in the window from open to closed. His wife Valery is in the kitchen behind. Valery: Richard. He heads through into the dining table. Richard: What is it? Valery: Salmon. And don't complain. It's the last of the tins. I don't know what we're going to do. There's nothing in the house. As they sit down at the table, Kenny comes in. Richard: Where have you been? Kenny: Where'd you think? Valery: That's no way to talk to your father. Sit down. I'm just serving tea. Kenny joins them at the table. Kenny: Dad, I want to talk to you. Richard: What about? Kenny: Well, you know what about, De Havilland's. Richard: Forget it, Ken. You're not going to Hatfield. The answer's no. Kenny: I've worked it out. You see, I just need... Richard: And I can't help you. I haven't got it. There's nothing I can do. Kenny: Well, I'm wasting my time here. Valery: You could help out in the shop a bit more. Kenny: The shop? Selling bolts and washers at ha'penny a time? Richard: It's a living. Kenny: It's nothing of the sort and you know it. Oh, come on, Dad, you know how much it means to me. I've got the place. Richard: I haven't got the money to pay for it. Kenny: Well, maybe I can find the money another way. Richard: What, with that lot of yours? I know what you're up to. You think I don't but I do. And I'm going to put a stop to it. Kenny: Really. You haven't done anything for twenty years. Why start now? Valery: Stop it. Kenny: You're all talk, and that's all you've ever been. Richard: To hell with this. I don't listen to this, not in my own house. He stands up from the table. Valery: Where are you going? Richard: To the pub. He leaves. Valery: Now look what you've done! The pub. Richard sits hunched over his beer, smoking. A man reading a paper at one of the barstools stands up to leave and offers the paper to Richard. Richard takes it but just puts it down, until something on the front page catches his eye. It's an article with the headline HOWARD PAIGE VISITS HASTINGS. Richard stares at the photo of Paige, then grabs his hat and puts it on to leave. Lewes house. A car drives up to the house and Howard Paige gets out of the back. Arthur: Howard. Welcome to Hastings. He approaches the car and they shake hands. Paige: Ah, Arthur. You look terrific. You've hardly changed at all. Arthur: Oh, if only that was true. So how was your journey? How was London? Paige: It's been quite a week. Oh, by the way, they've given me my own Man Friday. Arthur: Oh, okay. The driver of the car joins them. Paige: This is John Bishop. Bishop: How do you do, sir? Arthur: Oh. Please, come in. He and Paige head inside while Bishop goes to open the boot of the car. Lounge. Arthur is shaking a cocktail shaker while Paige looks around. Arthur: So, how did the talks go? Paige: Oh, it's just about signed and sealed. Now all we have to do is see it delivered. Arthur: You've done tremendous work. I must say, I don't know what we'd do without you. He brings Paige a drink. Paige: I'll tell you what you'd do without us, Arthur. You'd lose the gddmn wr. Arthur scoffs. He turns as Elizabeth enters the room. Arthur: Ah! Elizabeth. Howard's here. This is my wife. Elizabeth: How do you do, Mr Paige? She shakes his hand. Paige: Delighted to meet you. And, please, make that Howard. Elizabeth: Oh. Arthur: Drink? Elizabeth: Oh, yes, please. She and Howard sit down on the sofa. Elizabeth: So, Arthur's told me a lot about your days together at Oxford. Paige: Oh, twenty years ago. Another world. You know, I came here, I didn't know anything about anything. Luckily, I found myself rooming with Arthur's family. I'd never have been able to look after myself. Elizabeth: They loved having you. Paige: And they're well? Arthur: Oh, still in Oxford, yes. I think they find the world an increasingly difficult place to understand. Paige: It's good versus evil, Arthur. It's all it boils down to. Nothing difficult about that. Arthur: Well, it's good to have you on the right side. Happy days. They all clink glasses. Elizabeth: Yes, happy days. Outside the room, Bishop listens in on their muffled conversation for a moment, then heads up the stairs with the suitcases. Redmund House. Doctor Redmund is getting dressed in his office. Redmund: Oh, these damn cufflinks. I... I, I can't get the, the, the thing to go through the thing! His wife Eve comes over. Eve: Let me do it for you. Redmund: Oh... Eve: Relax. Redmund: Well... Eve: You get yourself in such a state. Redmund: Yes, yes. Eve: You don't really want to go, do you? Redmund: Yeah? What gave you that idea? Eve: You don't like Americans. Redmund: They were late arrivals in the last wr and it's looking increasingly likely they won't show up for this one at all. Oh, no, no. I'll be interested to hear what this, er, this man Paige has got to say for himself. Eve: Alan, you're not going to get into an argument? Redmund: I don't remember asking your opinion. Eve: Sorry. It's done. Redmund: Thank you. Ah, the Americans think we've lost this wr. That's the truth of it. But what's even worse is... they don't care. Lewes house, evening. Richard Hunter stands in the entrance hall. A maid brings Elizabeth out to meet him. Elizabeth: Mr Hunter. How can I help you? Richard: Good evening, Mrs Lewes. Um, I'd like to see Howard Paige. Elizabeth: I'm sorry? Richard: I read in the paper he's staying here. Elizabeth: I'm sorry. We're just about to have dinner. And I'm not sure Mr Paige is seeing anyone. Richard: I think he'll see me. Elizabeth: Well, if you'd like to wait here a moment I'll ask him. She goes back in. Sam and Foyle are driving along. Sam: Do you think it was the warden, sir? Mrs Harrison's jewellery. He was the last one in the house. Foyle: Well... Sam: They say it's much worse in London. I heard this story the other day. A woman got bmb on her way home. She was knocked out, and when she came to, she found someone was fiddling with her hand. It was a policeman. At first she thought he was trying to help her. But then she realised he was actually pinching her rings. A policeman! Foyle: I don't think it was the warden. Sam: No. So, who are you having dinner with? Foyle: A man called Arthur Lewes. He's a barrister. He's very good barrister. I knew him years ago. Sam: You never mentioned him. Foyle: No. He looks away. Ahead of them, Richard Hunter is walking away from the Lewes house. As the car approaches down the lane in the dark Sam has to screech to a halt, narrowly avoiding hitting him. He hurries on without stopping. Sam: Was that him? Foyle: No. No, it wasn't. Sam: Well, I hope it wasn't the cook. She drives the rest of the way up to the house. Lewes entrance hall. The maid takes Foyle's coat and hat. Foyle: Thank you. Elizabeth (offscreen): Christopher. She comes to meet him at the door. Foyle: Elizabeth, hello. You're looking well. Elizabeth: I'm glad you agreed to come. So are you. Er, how's Andrew? Foyle: Andrew is, er, is very well. And you've got two sons, is that right? Elizabeth: Yes, yes. Er, Jack's in London at the MOI. And, um, my other son Christopher is still at school, thank God. Foyle: Right. Christopher? Elizabeth: Yes. Arthur Lewes comes out to join them. Arthur: Christopher. He laughs. Arthur: Why is Elizabeth keeping you out in the hall? Please, come in. They shake hands. Elizabeth: This way. Outside the house. Bishop is removing cases from Paige's car. Rustling in the trees draws his attention and he spots somebody moving. He draws a gn and stands on guard for a moment before putting it away again and heading inside. Romney Point. Someone flashes a torch out over the water, signalling. A U-boat surfaces and someone begins to signal back. Lewes dining room. The group are all around the dinner table. Paige: There's very little support for Herr htler in America but, er, the question we're asking ourselves now is this. Should we join you now and fight against a common enemy or consider this country the last frontier between nzi Germany and ourselves? Redmund: What, you mean wait until we've lost the wr and then decide what to do? Arthur: That's probably putting it a little strongly, Doctor Redmund. Redmund: If America doesn't enter the wr, at, at the very least helping us with arms and supplies, maybe we will lose. Paige: And we've seen what happened in France. We send you wapon now, how do we know they won't end up in German hands in a few months' time? Redmund: Is that what you think? Paige: It's what many Americans think. And they're afraid. As a nation we don't want to go to wr. There are those who say we were hoodwinked last time around. And this is an election year. Mr Roosevelt has to be very careful how he proceeds. Arthur: Howard is very much a friend of this country, Doctor Redmund. He set up the committee, the American Allies of England. Paige: We've been active in Washington. We've spent hundreds of dollars in the national press. We're gradually changing public opinion, but, er, give us time. Redmund: You think we have time? Paige: Well, I hope so. I really do. Arthur clears his throat. Paige: Well, I understand you have a son in the services, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Er, yes, er, he's in the RAF. Paige: Ah. Must be worried sick about him. Foyle: Mmm. Elizabeth: Andrew was at Oxford, the same college as you. Paige: Oh. Is that a fact? Elizabeth: Mr Paige was a Rhodes scholar. Foyle: Oh, right. Paige: So, Oxford, the RAF... no chance of your son following in his father's footsteps, then, and joining the police? Foyle: We've never discussed it. Arthur: Your father was a policeman, wasn't he, Christopher? Foyle: Yes, he was a sergeant. Paige: What, he, he talked you into this line of work? Foyle: We never discussed it. It was, er, always assumed that I'd follow in my father's footsteps, as you put it, just as I've assumed my son won't. Paige: I have sons, too. Foyle: Do you? They listen to you? Paige: Oh, sure they do. And then they do the exact opposite of what I say. Foyle: Yes. The group all laugh apart from Doctor Redmund. Police station. Sam sits at a desk on the phone. Sam: Yes. All right. Thank you very much. Milner arrives in the doorway as she puts the phone down. Sam: I thought you'd gone home. Milner: Not yet. Have you managed to find anywhere yet? Sam: No. I've been ringing round hotels and guest houses but, um, amazing. They all seem to be full. Milner: How many have you tried? Sam: About a dozen. Milner: What will you do if you can't find anywhere? Sam: I don't know. I suppose I'll have to stay here. Maybe someone will give me a cell. Funny. My father always said I'd end up behind bars. Milner: You can't do that, Sam. You could come and stay with me, if you like. Sam: Really? Milner: Just for a few days, I mean. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. But my wife is away with her sister, in Wales, and I have a spare room at the back of the house. Sam: Oh. Well, that would be really tickety-boo. Are you sure? Milner: Yes. There is one thing, though. I don't think we should mention this to Mr Foyle. Sam: No. I think you're right. I don't think he'd approve. This is very, very kind of you. Milner: Don't mention it. Lewes entrance hall. Elizabeth is seeing Foyle out. Elizabeth: I'm glad you came, anyway. Can't understand, here we both are, living in Hastings and yet I never see anything of you. I'm afraid Mr Paige was rather tactless. Foyle: Well, he's, um, he's American. Be nice to know why he's really here. Elizabeth: He's involved in some sort of talks up in Whitehall. All very hush-hush. Foyle: Right. Well, an interesting evening. Thank you. He moves to leave and Elizabeth follows him. Elizabeth: Christopher. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Elizabeth: Could we meet? I could call on you tomorrow afternoon. Foyle: Why? I mean, is there really anything to be said? Elizabeth: Yes. So much. I'd like to see you. Could I? Would you be there? Arthur (offscreen): Elizabeth? Foyle: (Yeah.) Elizabeth: Thank you. Arthur comes out to join them. Foyle: Good night. He leaves. Romney Point. The U-boat is still visible above the waves. Onshore, Richard Hunter stands holding a revolver. He checks his watch. A church bell rings in the distance. Wood Lane. A car pulls up and parks in the lane. Colin Morton gets out of the driver's seat and gets into the back, lying down with a blanket. Richard Hunter checks his watch again. The bells are still ringing. Out on the water, the U-boat begins to descend as a man rows towards the shore in a small boat. Outside the Redmund house. The Redmunds have just reached their front gate. Doctor Redmund opens it for his wife but stays outside. Redmund: You go in. Eve: What is it? Redmund: I want to go for a walk. The rowing boat continues to approach the shore. There's a gn and the sound of shattering glass. The man rowing ducks and looks around. Morton's parked car. Lying down in the back, he's disturbed by someone running past. He sits up to look out of the window. Daylight. Sam and Foyle are driving along. Foyle: Well, you seem a lot better today, Sam. Sam: Just glad to be alive, I suppose, sir. Foyle: Yeah. Did you find somewhere to stay? Sam: Mmm. I'm being put up by a friend. Foyle: Good. Police station. Valery Hunter is talking to the man behind the desk, Sergeant Rivers. Valery: His name's Richard Hunter. Aren't you going to write this down? Rivers: I am writing it down, all right? Now, you say he didn't come home last night? Valery: He's never stayed out before. Not all night. He wasn't there this morning. Rivers: Do you know where he was going? He didn't say. Foyle walks up behind Valery. Valery: Morning, sir. Foyle: Morning. He and Sam walk on by. Rivers: All right, then. So, let's start with his age. Police station hallway. Milner calls out to Foyle as he passes by. Milner: Sir, this looting business. Foyle: Yeah. Milner: I started with the AFS called out to Mrs Harrison two nights ago. They're from Station 41E, which is out on the Tideswell Road. Foyle: Mm-hmm. They arrive at Foyle's office. Milner: And then there was the photographer. His name is Colin Morton. The Eastbourne Chronicle have confirmed he is one of theirs. He seems to have specialised in bmb raids. Foyle: Er, any of these been involved in lootings before? Milner: Well, there have only been half a dozen cases reported in the last two months. Foyle: Well, fortunately there haven't been too many bmb. Milner: But Colin Morton has turned up at no fewer than four of them, and this has to be more than a coincidence - station 41E, five out of six. The station officer is a man called Henry Jamieson. Works as a lorry driver. No police record that I can find but I'm still checking. Foyle: We'll pay him a visit. Milner: And I haven't had time to look into the others. Foyle: And this, er, photographer, Colin Morton. Milner: Who specialises in bmb raids. Foyle: Maybe he, um, takes more than photographs. AFS station. Jamieson sits reading a newspaper. Foyle (offscreen): Mr Jamieson? Jamieson: Yes? He looks up and then stands as he sees Foyle and Milner. Foyle: Er, the name's Foyle. I'm a police officer. Er, can you spare a minute? Jamieson: I can spare all day, providing the Moaning Minnies don't go off. Foyle: Well, it's quiet at the moment. Jamieson: Thankfully, yes. Foyle: Er, I understand you were called out the other night. Jamieson: Was I? Milner: Elms Road. The home of a Mrs Esther Harrison. Jamieson: Elms Road. Yes, I remember that. Er, the house copped the HE. Foyle: Yes. Jamieson: A young girl got klled. Foyle: That's right. Jamieson: Tea? Foyle: Er, no, thank you. Jamieson: So, how can I help you? Foyle: Oh, well, Mrs Harrison claims some property belonging to her late husband has gone missing. Jamieson: And you think, what, you're calling me a thief? Foyle: Oh, no, not at all, Mr Jamieson. I simply wondered if either you or your men had spotted anything. Jamieson: Oh, you think one of my men might have taken something? Let me tell you something, Mr... Foyle, was it? Foyle: Yes. Jamieson: Me and my lads, we do a tough bloody job. 48 hours on, 24 hours off. No one else does those sort of hours, and I bet you don't. Foyle: No. Jamieson: And it's a stinking job. The real firemen hate us because we're prepared to do the same work as them at a fraction of the price. To the public we're 50-bob-a-week call-up dodgers, but we do it, 'cause we like to think we're doing our bit to help the wr effort. Foyle: Well, that's very commendable. Jamieson: Well, it doesn't make things any easier when people like you start coming round here and accusing my boys of looting. Look at 'em. He indicates the three men standing out by the fre engine. Jamieson: Bob Fraser, Tom Fairweather, Ken Hunter, risking their lives night in, night out. They're good lads. You should be ashamed for thinking otherwise. Foyle: Oh, I've made it perfectly clear. I'm not accusing anybody of anything. Er, just, er, making enquiries. Jamieson: Look, you're not find anything here. You can search the whole place if you like. Foyle: Oh, thank you. Milner, get them in. Milner (offscreen): Yes, sir. A group of uniformed officers enter the building. Jamieson heads outside to join his men. Jamieson: Back to work. Kenny: They know it was us. Jamieson: They don't know anything. They're not going to find anything. Just relax. Eastbourne Chronicle, editor's office. The editor, Mr Dunning, is speaking with Foyle. Dunning: I'm sorry. Colin's out for the day. Went over to Wish Road. They got ht by a U-boat, would you believe it? fring from somewhere off of Cuckmere Haven. Bloody Germans. I ask you, what's the point in hitting a residential street? That's not wr, that's just cowardice. Foyle: Colin Morton always cover blast damage, that sort of thing? Dunning: Not really. Evacuees, Spitfire fund. You name it he's done it. Foyle: Can I see the photographs he took the other night? Dunning: When they come back from the Ministry of Information. Had to send them in for the censors. Look, Come on, Chief Superintendent, do me a favour. Tell me what this is about. Foyle: Wish I could. Dunning: We've always done you favours. Put you on the front page when you make an arrest. Nice pictures. Foyle: Yeah. Ask him to give me a call when he gets back in, would you? He leaves. Foyle's office. Milner and Foyle are both back at the station. Milner: Absolutely nothing, sir. We searched the place from top to bottom. But I've put together an inventory of everything that went missing from the houses where Jamieson was involved. Coins, a necklace, silver thimbles, medals, cutlery. It's more or less what you'd expect, but they're leaving certain things behind. A fur coat, an antique pocket watch, a stamp collection, another watch with a gold bracelet. Foyle: That's very selective. Sergeant Rivers knocks on the open door. Rivers: Sorry to bother you, sir. I've got something, and with Mr Reid away I'm, I'm not sure what to do. Foyle: Go on. Rivers: We've had a call from a Mr Letwin. Colonel Letwin, Home Guard. I know it sounds barmy, sir, but he says he's arrested a Jerry spy. Home Guard base. Sam and Foyle get out of the car outside. Colonel Letwin approaches the two of them. Letwin: Thank you for coming so promptly, Detective Chief Superintendent. I wasn't quite sure who to call. They shake hands. Foyle: Sorry, you're, um...? Letwin: Er, Letwin. Commanding Officer, No. 1 Platoon, 58th Sussex Battalion Home Guard. Foyle: Jolly good. Letwin: I suppose you must be getting quite a few spy scares at the moment. Foyle: Oh, well. Nervous times. Letwin: Er, quite. Actually, we've been on alert all morning. I had one of my men report to me this morning. He assured me he'd seen signals being made last night. A flashing torch. Foyle: Reliable man? Letwin: Oh, yes, a retired headmaster. Not one to stir things up. He was walking the dog and swore he saw lights coming from Romney Point, signalling out to sea. Foyle: Romney Point. Is he sure about that? Letwin: Well, that's what he said. Anyway, I raised an alert, and the next thing I know, we get a call from the landlord of the Dog and Duck. He's got someone in there trying to buy a pint of beer at ten o'clock in the morning. Foyle: Right. No knowledge of the licensing laws. Letwin: Exactly. Foyle: And what did you do? Letwin: We went round there and arrested him and brought him here. And by the way, he has no means of identification. That's why we called you. Foyle: And you've spoken to him? Letwin: He doesn't seem in the mood for conversation. We gave him a cup of tea but that's about it. Inside. Hans Maier sits at a table, being watched by one of the Home Guard armed with a rfle. Foyle walks in, followed by a second member of the Home Guard. Foyle: Good morning. Speak English? Maier: Of course. Foyle: But you're not English. Are you German? Scandinavian? Maier: I, er, I have nothing to say to you. Foyle: Right, that's fine. Nothing to do with me, anyway. You'll, um, be handed over to Special Branch. He moves to leave. Maier: So who are you? Foyle: Er, my name's Foyle. I'm a policeman. Who are you? Maier: My name is Hans Maier. Yeah, erm, I'm from Holland. I'm Dutch. Foyle: Oh. How'd you get here? Maier: I came by boat, from France. Foyle: On your own? Maier: Yes. Foyle: I find that very hard to believe. Maier: Even so, it, er, it happens to be true. Foyle: You were that desperate to escape the German occupation? Maier: Yes. Foyle: Mmm. Well, it's my information that, um, you got a signal from the coast, which would sort of imply that, um, you didn't act alone. Maier: There was no signal. Foyle: Where's the boat you came in? Maier: I don't know. I, I left it on the beach. Foyle: Well, Mr Maier, as I said, there's nothing I can do for you, but if you're a genuine refugee then, er, you'll be taken care of. But that's for other people to decide. He moves to leave. Maier: So you are a policeman. Foyle: Yes. Maier: You investigate mrder in a time of wr? Foyle: When I have to. Maier nods a little, but doesn't say anything else. Foyle emerges from the building. Letwin: Well, Detective Chief Superintendent? Foyle: Er, well, he claims to be a Dutch refugee. Letwin: But do you think he's a German spy? Foyle: Well, if he is, he's ill prepared, ill-equipped and his entire mission seems to have been put together without any knowledge or understanding of this country whatsoever. Let's hope they're all like that. Letwin: The military police are on their way. Foyle: Yeah. He claims to have, er, come across by boat and says he's left it somewhere on the beach. I don't want to tell you your job- Letwin: I've already given the order, Mr Foyle. They've been out for the past hour. Romney Point. The Home Guard are searching the beach. Home Guard: Hey, lads. Over here. They make their way over to the body of Richard Hunter, lying on the beach with his gn in his hand. Foyle's Office. Foyle is looking at photographs of the body. Foyle: I've seen him before. Milner: A Mrs Richard Hunter reported her husband missing this morning. Richard Hunter mean anything? Foyle: Not the name, but I know the face. Milner: Found with a gn in his hand, two bllts missing from the chamber, one in his head. Looks like a su1c1de. Foyle: Anything in his pockets? Milner: No identification. Just, er, cigarettes, matches, a few coins. And this. He holds out a key with gear attached to it as a keyring. Milner: No serial number, and there are no markings on the key at all. It's an old-fashioned design so we may have trouble finding out what it opens. Foyle: And on top of all this we've got this, erm, German spy business, if that's what he is. Milner: Have they found his boat yet, sir? Foyle: Yes, but not on the same beach. He points out Romney Point on a map. Foyle: That's, er, Romney Point. That's the Redmund House, the Lewes house. This is where the body was found. That's where the boat was found. Milner: How did they know it was his boat, sir? Foyle: Found a suitcase with a compass, maps, spare clothes... I know where I've seen him. He goes back to take another look at the photographs. Foyle: It was at the house. Milner: Which house, sir? Foyle: Arthur Lewes's house. Where I was having dinner. Lewes house. Foyle and Milner join Elizabeth and Arthur and their guests in the lounge. Foyle: Well, the, um, the problem is, er, er, a body has been found on the beach. Apparent su1c1de. Er, a man called Richard Hunter? Arthur: Richard Hunter? Elizabeth: He was here last night. He's not dad, is he? Foyle: Yes. His, um, wife identified the body, er, a short while ago. Elizabeth: Oh, poor man. Foyle: How do you know him? Elizabeth: Well, er, he used to come here from time to time. He did odd jobs for us, the plumbing, things like that. Foyle: Right. And last night he was here for? Paige: Oh, that was to see me. Er, yeah, it was just before you arrived. About seven o'clock, I think. Um, Elizabeth told me he was at the front door and I went out to meet him. Foyle: Oh. What did he want? Paige: Well, he, he asked me for money. Arthur: Money? Paige: 'Fraid so. Something I'm fairly used to, I'm afraid. Doesn't matter if it's old friends or complete strangers, people know I'm wealthy and assume, because I'm American I've got to be generous too. Foyle: And how much did he want? Paige: Well, we, we never got as far as figures. Er, I just told him to get lost. Well, I, I didn't even know why he was here, how he found out that I'm here. Arthur: That's my fault, I'm afraid. There was a story in the local paper. Paige: Did, did you say that, er, he committed su1c1de? Foyle: Erm, yes. It does seem to be the case. Paige: Well, maybe I can enlighten you there a little. Um, you know, this was a very desperate guy. He had some kind of trouble. It was a problem with his son, he said. Yeah, he needed the money for his son, and not for himself. Gee, you know, I, I'd hate to think that what I said to him drove him to take his own life. Elizabeth: Oh, my goodness. Foyle: The beach where the body was found is this beach, below the house here. Arthur: Well, there's a- there's a path down the side of the cliff but it's, it's too dangerous. You get to it by the lane. Elizabeth: Wood Lane. Arthur: Yes. It cuts through, through the woods by Doctor Redmund's house. It's only a ten-minute walk to the sea. Outside. Foyle and Milner are heading back to where Sam is waiting in the car. Bishop follows them out. Bishop: Er, Mr Foyle? I just wanted to mention to you that Mr Paige is here as a guest of the British Government. Foyle: Oh. Jolly good. Should that be of interest to me? Bishop: Well, it's my job to look after him, Mr Foyle. Mr Paige has been involved in negotiations at the highest level and will be returning to the United States shortly. In the meantime, I must ask you not to harass him. Foyle: What, in the same sort of way you're harassing me? I'll do my best. He and Milner get into the car and they drive away. Hunter dining room. Milner and Foyle are there with Valery and Kenny. Valery: He wouldn't kll himself. He couldn't kll himself. He had things on his mind, I know. He was moody. But we've been married for so long. If he was going to do anything like that he would have told me. Milner: Mrs Hunter, did your husband own a gn? Valery: Yes. It, it was his dad's, from the wr. Milner unwraps a revolver. Milner: Is this his? Valery sobs at the sight of it. Kenny: That's his, yeah. Milner: I'm sorry. Foyle: Did he say, um, anything about going up to Romney Point last night? Valery: No. He, he used to do jobs there but he never said anything. He said he was going to the pub. He, he went out but then he came back half an hour later. Foyle: Speak to him? Valery: No. He was only in the house for a minute, then he went out again. Milner: Did he ever mention a Mr Howard Paige? Valery: I've never even heard of him. He was upset. He and Kenny had been arguing. Foyle: Ah. About what? Kenny: Money. That's all we ever argued about. I've been offered a place. De Havilland's. They run an aeronautical school up in, in Hatfield. It's like college but it's all planes. It's all I want to do. Foyle: And, um, how long have you been living in Hastings, Mrs Hunter? Valery: We, we moved down here, er, when Kenny was still small. Richard got a job at Lower Meads. There's a factory there, making engineering components, cars, things like that. And then he got ill. And after that he set up on his own. Milner: He opened the shop. Valery: Yes, and he did odd jobs. Foyle: He got sick. Was he very ill? Valery: It was his nerves. You can speak to his doctor, Doctor Redmund. I can give you his address, if you like. Foyle brings out the key with the gear attached. Foyle: Is this his? Valery: He carried that with him everywhere. Never let it out of his sight. Foyle: And what does- er, what does this open? Valery: There's a shed in the garden. Shed. Foyle and Milner enter to look around, along with Kenny. Kenny: I used to come down here with him when I was a kid. I thought it was an Aladdin's cave back then. We were gonna invent stuff. Death rays and rockets. My dad. I was very proud of him. Milner: So why did you want to leave? Kenny: Because it was all lies. He never did anything down here, he drank. He kept a bottle under the table. Gin, whisky, whatever he could get hold of. He sat here and he drank and he dreamed and he never did anything. And in the end I couldn't wait to get away from him. Foyle: Why did, erm, your dad worry about you being in the AFS? Kenny: Maybe he thought I was going to get my fingers burnt, I dunno. What does it matter now, anyway? He's klled himself, that's it. Eastbourne Chronicle offices. Colin Morton is cleaning his camera when Dunning comes in. Dunning: Ah, Morton. I've been looking for you. Morton: What is it, Mr Dunning? Dunning: I've had the police in here asking for you. Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle, no less. Morton: What did he want? Dunning: He didn't tell me. I'm only the editor. Nobody tells me anything. Maybe it's something to do with this. He hands Morton a part-finished newspaper layout with the headline MAN'S BODY FOUND ON BEACH. Romney Point. Foyle and Milner stand looking out to sea. Foyle: It's quite a view. Milner: On a clear day you can see France. Foyle: And send a signal, if you feel inclined. Milner: Could it have been someone from the house, sir? Foyle: It could have been someone from the house. On the other hand, this is not private land. Anybody could have driven up here. They leave. Redmund house. Foyle is speaking with Redmund in his office. Redmund: I'm afraid I can't tell you a great deal about Richard Hunter, Mr Foyle. I was treating him for a nervous condition. He was in and out of the surgery over the years. He was an alcoholic. And that's not easy these days, with spirits harder to come by. Foyle: And he wasn't from here originally? Redmund: No, he, he was from the north, I think. Er, York. Er, or was it Leeds? He mentioned once that his father worked for a confectionary firm. Um, both parents are dad. I'm afraid that's about it. The door opens and Eve comes in. Eve: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company. Oh! Mr Foyle. Foyle: Mrs Redmund. Eve: This is a surprise. Redmund: Mr Foyle's here on police business, my dear. Eve: What business? Foyle: It was something that happened last night. Eve: Oh. You mean... the signals? Redmund: No. No, he's not here about that. Foyle: What makes you think I might be, Mrs Redmund? Eve: Well, people were talking this morning. Redmund: Signals in the night. It's a load of nonsense. Home Guard don't know what they're talking about. Foyle: Well, as a matter of fact, um, they've caught a man who looks as if he came into the country last night by boat. Redmund: Really? Eve: What incident were you actually referring to, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you, Mrs Redmund, that, um, a man has been found sht dad on the beach. Eve: Oh. Redmund: He sht himself? Foyle: Seems so, yes. Redmund: Hmm. Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Richard Hunter was a wreck of a human being. I don't think I've ever met anyone who had less reason to be alive. Foyle: Did you speak to him last night? Redmund: He was at the house? Foyle: Briefly, yes, before dinner. Redmund: It's not my habit to chat with patients, Mr Foyle, particularly ones like Richard Hunter. I mean, he, he made a complete mess of his life. Well, it's all the more of a pity when you consider he'd been up at Oxford. Foyle: Had he really? Redmund: Mmm. Well, so he claimed. Wouldn't think it, would you? No, he, er, he told me once that he got a bursary or a grant or something from the confectionary firm that employed his father. Well, they were wasting their money, because nothing came of it. Foyle: Would he have known Howard Paige, do you think? Redmund: Oh, I very much doubt it. No, Oxford University back in the '20s? People like Paige and Hunter didn't mix. People knew their place, if you know what I mean? I mean, these days, of course, everything's changed. You can call me old-fashioned if you like, but I don't think it's a change for the better. Foyle: I imagine you're rather careful about the company you keep, Doctor Redmund. Redmund: You're right. Foyle: And what did you make of Howard Paige last night? Redmund: Brash, opinionated. But you were there, Mr Foyle. Why do you need to ask me? Police station. Colin Morton is at the front desk. Rivers: I'm sorry. I'm afraid Mr Foyle isn't here. Morton: He asked to see me. My name is Colin Morton. I'm a photographer with the Eastbourne Chronicle. Rivers: Well, he didn't say anything to me. Morton: Look, it's important. It just happens I was in Wood Lane last night in my car. Rivers: So where were you going, then? Morton: I wasn't driving. It's not easy to explain, but I was sitting there and the point is I think I saw something. Rivers: And what was that? Morton: I'd prefer to talk to Mr Foyle. Rivers: I've just told you, sir, he's not here, but I can pass on anything you want to say. Morton: No, it, it's too important. He knows where to find me. Ask him to call. Rivers: If that's what you want, all right. I'll, er, I'll put a note on his desk. Morton: Thank you. He leaves. Rivers writes something down. Milner house. Sam and Milner are eating together, music playing on the wireless in the background. Milner: Mmm. This is really good, Sam. You're not such a bad cook after all. Sam: It's one of my father's recipes. Coq-au-vin without the vin. He's a teetotaller. Milner: So what is in it? Sam: Um, chicken, vegetables, and I used all the rest of the bacon, I'm afraid. Milner: What, all of it? That was the last of my ration. Sam: Sorry. Milner: Never mind. Sam: So, how's the case going? You are lucky, you know, getting to rummage around all those dad bodies. Milner: Well, we're fairly sure it wasn't su1c1de, but then that leaves the question who would want to kll Richard Hunter, and why? Sam: If his son was in the AFS and they were the ones doing the looting... Milner: Well, you see, that's another mystery. Henry Jamieson. He's guilty, I'm certain of it. But at your landlady's house, he took her coins and her necklace and so on, but he left behind a valuable pocket watch. Why? Sam: Maybe Richard Hunter knew the answer, he was going to tell and that's why he had to be silenced. Milner: Have you managed to find anywhere yet? Sam: You're not kicking me out? Milner: No, no, not at all. Actually, I, I like having you here. Sam: Mr Foyle would have a fit if he found out! He chuckles. Milner: Yes, I don't think he'd be entirely happy. Sam: Well, I am looking. The music on the wireless changes to a more upbeat jazz number. Sam: I love this one. She goes over to turn it up, starting to dance. Sam: Will you dance with me? Milner: No. Sam: Dance with me! Milner: No. Sam: Don't be such a cold fish. I've been bmb, I've lost my house and just about all of my possessions, and here I am, stuck with you. Milner: Well, thank you. Sam: Just one little dance, that's all. Milner stands up. Out in the hall, the door closes as Jane Milner arrives with her suitcase. Milner (offscreen): All right, I'll have a go. But I'm warning you, I was never much of a dancer, even with the leg. Sam: That's just an excuse. Jane listens to them from out in the hall. Milner (offscreen): No, it's true, really. Sam laughs. Sam: I used to love going to dance halls. As a trainee, we'd to go up to London. Mayfair, Grosvenor... Jane comes into the room. Milner: Jane. Jane: What are you doing? Milner: Jane, this isn't what you think. She leaves the room and Milner goes after her. Milner: Jane. Police station, night. Rivers leaves the front desk to go into the break room, where there's a comedy show playing on the wireless. Woman (radio): Oh, sir, you are a caution. Foyle's office. A torch shines through the window of the office from outside. Man (radio): Now, you'll have to be quick, Mrs B. I'm due at a wedding ceremony at 11:30. Woman (radio): Very good, sir. Man (radio): My wife and I had a very quiet wedding, you know. The vicar had laryngitis. Break room. Rivers pours himself a cup of tea. Foyle's office. The window is opened from outside. Man (radio): Hmm. Now, tell me, whatever happened to that vicar from Bristol? Break room. Rivers continues making tea. Man (radio): Used to do fre-watch duty at the depot. Woman (radio): Couldn't cope with the hours, sir. One minute he'd be needing the dough, next he was flat as a pancake. Foyle's office. Two men with torches rfle through the office as the wireless show continues faintly in the background. One spots and the note about Colin Morton's visit on the desk. Break room. Rivers leaves the room with his tea. Woman (radio): You don't know what I've been through. The two men retreat into the corners of Foyle's office as Rivers passes by in the corridor outside. Then they climb back out of the window. Wood Lane. Colin Morton's car is parked again. Another car pulls up behind it. Men with torches get out and shine them in on Morton asleep in the back. One of them opens the door. Man: Mr Morton? Morton: Yeah? Man: Come with me. Morton: Why? Who are you? Man: Take him. They drag him bodily out of his car and towards theirs. Oxford University. Foyle is approached where he's standing in the hallway by Professor Phillips. Phillips: How d'you do, Mr Foyle? How very good to meet you. I tutored your son, you know. Andrew. How is he? Foyle: Well, thank you. Phillips: Oh. Last I heard, he was in Scotland. Foyle: Er, no, he was posted to the south coast, not too far from me. They start walking together. Phillips: Oh, well, there's some mercy in that, I suppose. I heard him speak once, in a debate. "Modern patriotism is a false emotion." He was very persuasive. And then the moment the wr began, he was gone. Him and so many others. Just boys. Laughing boys. Turned into men. Foyle: Yeah. Phillips: I'm sorry. You're not here because of him. Foyle: Well, the, um, the registrar told me that, er, you also tutored, er, a boy called Richard Hunter. Phillips: Hunter? Foyle: He was here in '22 on a bursary. Studied physics, left with a First. Phillips: Yes, of course. Hunter. Working-class boy from Yorkshire. Harrogate, I think. Yeah, we didn't get too many of them. Not back in the '20s, anyway. Foyle: Anything else you can tell me about him? Phillips: Oh, he was quiet, diligent, smoked a pipe. Foyle: Possible link with a Rhodes Scholar here at the same time, Howard Paige? Phillips: Ooh, yes, of course. Hunter and Paige. Hunter and Paige! You should have mentioned him in the first place. Most unlikely couple, but the two of them were involved in a minor scandal. A four-seater Austin Seven. They borrowed it from another student, and between them they took the whole thing apart, piece by piece. You, you have to remember that, er, this was the time when cars were, were quite a rarity. Foyle: Mm-hmm. And it was, er, done as a joke? Phillips: No, no, no. They put it back together again. Er, good as new. No, they just wanted to look at it, see how it functioned. Foyle: Ah. Phillips: The owner wasn't too pleased, though. There was a quite a contretemps. He laughs. Foyle: So, they were close friends? Phillips: No, I wouldn't say that. The American boy was only here for a, a short time. But, but that's one incident I certainly remember. Lewes house. Foyle stands waiting in the entrance hall. Paige's room. He's shaving when Bishop comes in. Bishop: Mr Foyle is here again. He wants to have another word with you. Paige: Frankly, I'm getting tired of this. Do I have to talk to him? Bishop: I think it would probably be for the best. Paige: Goddammit, Bishop, I thought it was your job to protect me? Bishop: Do I need to protect you, Mr Paige? Paige: Oh, no, no. Of course not. Just, um, getting tired of the way the guy's hounding me. You know why I'm here. You know the stakes we're playing. Bishop: Yes. Paige: Well, maybe it's time somebody told him. Bishop leaves and he goes back to shaving. Entrance hall, later. Paige comes down the stairs. Paige: Ah, Mr Foyle. You, er, come to wish me bon voyage? Foyle: Well, um, not exactly. Paige chuckles. Paige: I leave tomorrow, so maybe you should. Is this still, um, about the dad man on the beach? Foyle: Oh. That's an odd thing to say. Paige: Well, that's what he is. Foyle: Well, yeah, I mean it's, er, an odd way to describe, um, someone it turns out you knew. You were at Oxford together. Paige: Oh, yeah, I, I didn't mention Oxford. Didn't seem relevant, but, er, I did tell you I knew him. Foyle: Ah. No recollection of that. Paige: Yeah. We were, um, we were in the other room there, talking, Arthur and Elizabeth were there. Let's see. I, I was talking about, well, Richard, how he'd asked me for money and I said, I told you, I was often approached by old friends. Foyle: Ah, right. Yes, I remember you saying you were, um, approached by, er, old friends and, er, complete strangers. You didn't specify which of the two he was, though. Paige: Well, um, I can only apologise. I surely didn't intend to, er, mislead you, Mr Foyle. Not that I think it makes an iota of difference. Foyle: No? Paige: Oh, come on. I haven't been in England for twenty years. Not since I was a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford. Sure, I knew Richard then. Yeah, we got on, we had a good time. But it was, er, was a casual friendship. Foyle: There was something about a, a four-seater Austin Seven? Paige: Oh, boy. Oh, no. Don't tell me the law's finally caught up with me on that. Yep, we stole the car. It was a joke. We, we took it apart, put it all back together again. Foyle: Why? Paige: Why? He chuckles. Paige: To prove we could. Look, Mr Foyle, the man I saw on that doorstep was a complete stranger to me. I hadn't seen or heard from him for, what, quarter of a century? I'm, I'm sorry I didn't make my connection with him clearer, but, er, I can assure you that it wasn't intentional. Sam and Foyle are driving along. Sam: Howard Paige can't have had anything to do with the death, can he, sir? Foyle: Why is that? Sam: Well, he's not English. I mean, he hasn't been in England for ages, has he? What reason could he possibly have? She yawns. Foyle: Tired? Sam: I, I didn't get much sleep last night, sir. Foyle: Still at your friend's? Sam: I don't think so. Foyle: If you manage to stay awake just till we get there, I'd be grateful. She snorts. AFS station. Kenny is scrubbing something in a bucket when Foyle walks in behind him. Foyle: Kenneth. Kenny: Mr Foyle. There's no one here. Foyle: No, no, no. It's, erm, it's you I wanted to talk to. How are you? Kenny: I'm fine. Foyle: Must have been very hard, losing your dad like that. Do you think he sht himself? Kenny: I don't know. Foyle: You see, if he didn't sht himself, then, er, somebody else did. And, er, there'd be a reason for that. And it did cross my mind that it might have been you. Kenny: What? Foyle: I mean, why was he so very worried about you? Kenny: I already told you I don't know. Foyle: The very last thing he did in his life was try to find the money to get you to aeronautical school, which might have been the reason he died. See, I know you were disappointed in him, but there must have been a part of him you were fond of. Kenny: Maybe. Foyle: What do you know, that you're not telling me? Kenny is silent for a moment, then stands up. Kenny: If I talk to you, then maybe I'll end up like my dad, with a bllet in my head! I don't know anything about anything, all right? Sam comes in through the door behind him. Kenny: And you shouldn't come round here. If you've got any questions, you should talk to Henry. He leaves. Sam: Do you want me to go after him, sir? Foyle: No, there's no point. I mean, he's quite frightened. Sam: Frightened? What of? Foyle pauses, contemplating the water running out of a pipe for a moment, then leaves. Police station break room. Milner stands reading a paper. Sam comes in behind him. Sam: I'm sorry about last night. Milner: Oh, Sam, don't worry. It wasn't your fault. I invited you. Sam: Did your wife understand my situation? Milner: Yes. Eventually. Where did you go? Sam: Oh, I found somewhere. Milner: Good. Foyle's office. Foyle has just arrived, setting his hat down. He studies the desk as Sam approaches along the corridor outside, speaking to Rivers in passing. Foyle: There's something odd here. Sam: What? Foyle: It's different. Sergeant! Rivers looks in through the doorway. Rivers: Sir? Foyle: Anybody been in here? Rivers: No one would come in without your say-so, Mr Foyle. Except I did look in while you were away, left a note on your desk. Nothing wrong, is there? Foyle: Where's the note? Eastbourne Chronicle, editor's office. Dunning is talking to Foyle. Dunning: No, I haven't seen him. And before you ask, he isn't at home. I sent someone round. I need him. I've got a local platoon of Home Guard demonstrating their prowess on roller skates, would you believe it? Fancy themselves as despatch racers. I wouldn't have minded a picture. Would have been good for a laugh. Why do you want him? Foyle: Er, well, he came to the station to see me. I wasn't there. Um, said he had something important to tell me. Dunning: He should have told me first. Foyle: Well, he told the duty officer he, er, may have seen something. Mentioned he'd been parked in Wood Lane. Mean anything? Dunning: Colin told you that? Foyle: Any idea why he'd have been parked in the middle of nowhere in the blackout? Dunning: As a matter of fact, I have. Oh, there's plenty of them. Coming out of London, Bristol, all the big cities. They drive out every evening and sleep in the open. Away from built-up areas. Scared of the bmb. Foyle: He's a trekker? Dunning: Yes. He isn't a coward. Colin's a good man. But... Oh, for heaven's sake, he was out 24 hours a day, photographing bmb-out houses. People on the streets, stretchers, corpses. Is it any wonder it got to him in the end? Foyle: Do you have his car registration number? Wood Lane. Sam and Foyle are studying Morton's abandoned car. Sam: Well, he certainly seems to have left in a hurry. Foyle: And not of his own free will, it would seem. Sam: Why do you say that, sir? Foyle: Well, you tell me. Sam sighs and looks around, then shrugs a little. Foyle nods for her to look at the ground. Sam: Oh. I see. He was dragged. These are his footmarks, perhaps. Foyle: Mmm. Sam: But why? Foyle: Well, why do you think? Sam: Morton knew something and somebody didn't want him to tell you. Foyle: This leads down to the beach where Richard Hunter was found. Sam: Do you think this has got something to do with the German spy? He landed here the same night. Foyle: Yeah, but that was a mile and a half away. How far to Romney House, do you think? Sam: About ten minutes on foot, I'd say. D'you think that's where they sent the signals from? Foyle: Well, there are only two houses up here at Romney Point. It seems possible that they might have come from one of them. Sam nods. A taxi pulls up outside Foyle's house. Inside. Foyle leads Elizabeth through to the front room. Foyle: Can I offer you anything? Elizabeth: No. No, thank you. You, you said I could come and see you. Foyle: Yes. Elizabeth: It seems so strange, seeing so much of you suddenly, after such a long time. How's the investigation? Foyle: Oh, it's coming along. Elizabeth: You don't think Mr Hunter klled himself, do you? Do you think Mr Paige had something to do with it? Foyle: Oh, well, it's, erm, not impossible. Elizabeth: If America does come into the wr, it'll be at least partly due to him. He's terribly important, Arthur says. Foyle: Have you told, erm, Arthur that, er, you're here? Elizabeth: No. Um, he's in London. In chambers. You know who klled that poor man, don't you? Foyle: Is this, er, why you've come here, to talk about this case? Elizabeth: No. No, of course not. I, I, I, came to see you. She sits down. Elizabeth: I, I felt so wretched, sitting at the dinner table, talking about the wr and America, and, well, that peculiar doctor going on about supplies. When all I wanted, really, was to be alone with you. He moves away to sit down opposite. Foyle: Elizabeth. Elizabeth: How are you, Christopher? I mean, are you happy? Foyle: Well, er... we're at wr. And, er, I do worry about Andrew. Elizabeth: I'm not happy. I've been married to Arthur for twenty years. It was our wedding anniversary a week ago. He's been very kind to me. He, he's a very kind man. But I, I've never loved him. Not even for a day. Not the way I loved you. There, I've said it. Oh, I'm sorry, I feel... I sound like something out of Noel Coward. Foyle: And, er, you never did like his plays, did you? Elizabeth: I was so sorry when I heard about Rosalind, really I was. I wanted to write. I, I tried, but all the time I kept thinking, after she died, um, maybe you and I- I, I hoped... Foyle: Shouldn't be doing this. It was all far too long ago. It was very different then. Elizabeth: Well, everything's different now. He stands up. Foyle: This is a mistake, Elizabeth. She stands up too. Elizabeth: No. I made the mistake years ago. I know that now. Can you forgive me? Foyle: There's nothing to forgive. Er, we were both very different people. Elizabeth: You asked me to marry you. Foyle: And when your father refused permission for you to marry me and you married Arthur instead, I understood the very difficult position you'd been placed in. Elizabeth: Well, he, he gave me no choice. You don't understand. Foyle: Well, your father understood perfectly well that a policeman's son was clearly not good enough and I should never have asked. Elizabeth: I couldn't go against him, Christopher. You knew that. Foyle: I never said you should. Elizabeth: You've grown very hard. Was it Rosalind dying that did that? Foyle: No. Losing her changed nothing. Marrying her changed everything. But you've got a good husband and two wonderful sons. But the truth is we should leave this exactly the way it is, and I'm sorry. Elizabeth: I'm the one who's sorry. You're right, I shouldn't have come. I am so sorry, Christopher. I want you to know that barely a day has gone by, in all these years, when I haven't been sorry. She leaves. Foyle looks over at a framed photo of his wife that stands nearby. Police station break room. Foyle is reading the paper while he pours himself some tea. He goes over to pick up a teaspoon and knocks a packet of tea into the washing up bowl in the sink. He rescues it and goes to move away, then stops to look at the tea leaves floating in the water. AFS station. Water is still trickling from the pipe Foyle noticed before. Jamieson: Why don't you leave us alone, Mr Foyle? You've searched the place once already. You found nothing. He, Tom and Bob stand facing Foyle, Milner and Sam as they arrive with uniformed officers. Foyle: Absolutely right, Mr Jamieson, which is precisely the reason why we're going to search it again. A policeman climbs a ladder to look into the water tnk that the pipe is attached to. Foyle: You were right about them being selective about what they took, Milner. All the things that were stolen had the same thing in common. The policeman pulls a sack out of the tnk. Policeman: Sir! Milner: And what was that, sir? Foyle: They were waterproof. Policeman: I've got it! He lowers the sack down and Milner opens it, tipping out the stolen valuables. Jamieson and his men make a run for it. As Milner and the other police restrain Tom and Bob, Foyle knocks Jamieson down with a punch to the face. He steps back to join Sam. Foyle: You know, I quite enjoyed that. She laughs. Police interview room. Jamieson sits behind the table. Milner, Foyle and another officer are there. Jamieson: I haven't got anything to say to you. Foyle: Yeah, well, that doesn't surprise me. You know, I regularly wonder why I do this job. And then I come across somebody like you. We are living in such evil times and the whole world seems to be sinking into some sort of mire, and as if htler wasn't enough, we've got the likes of you. Who capitalise on other people's misery, who hurt them, make things worse for them when they're at their weakest. And it's with the likes of you that this mire begins. And it's some small consolation to know that I've helped to clean up just a little bit of it. Milner: You'll be charged under Defence Regulations 38A. And I should warn you that you could be facing the death penalty. Jamieson: What? Milner: Malicious damage and larceny in wr-damaged areas. Jamieson: No. No, you can't hang me. I mean, I wasn't doing nothing that anyone else isn't doing. I mean... (Oh, Jeez.) Foyle and Milner leave the room. Milner's office, later. Milner calls out as Foyle passed the doorway. Milner: Sir! I think I might have something for you. Foyle: Yeah? Milner: I've been looking at the winds and currents the night that Hunter died. Foyle: Mmm. Milner: This is Romney Point. Romney House here and Wood Lane running down here. And this is the beach, about a mile and a half away, where the rowing boat was found. Now, the Germans drop off a boat, and the nearest landing point is this beach here. Foyle: Where the body was found. Milner: Yes, but there was a strong current that night, heading west. And from what I've been told, a boat would have had trouble getting into the coast anywhere. Especially if there was just one man. Foyle: And no one else has been caught. Milner: So it would have been hard work. He'd have been swept somewhere out to the west. Foyle: Which is where he landed. Milner: See, I wonder whether the German spy, Maier, might have had something to do with Hunter's death. Foyle: Well, I don't know about that, but if he's sitting in the boat off the coast, we might at least have a witness. Detention centre. Sam and Foyle pull up outside in the car. Foyle gets out and Sam calls to him through the car window. Sam: Good luck, sir. What do we do if they don't let you out again? Foyle: Well, you can take over. Foyle is escorted up by a soldier to see the commander, Simmons, in his office. Simmons: I'm sorry, Mr Foyle, but what you're asking is quite out of the question. There's absolutely no way I can allow you to see Maier without the necessary authorisation. Foyle: Oh. How long are you going to keep him here? Simmons: Until Military Intelligence decide what to do with him. Foyle: And what are the options? Simmons: Well, it's possible they'll turn him and try to use him against the Germans. Foyle: Or sht him? Simmons: I'm afraid that's much more likely to be the case. Do you... really believe that this man may have been witness to a mrder? Foyle: Well, yes. Very possible. Simmons: Look, Mr Foyle, even if I were to turn a blind eye and let you in, what on Earth makes you think Maier would even consider cooperating? I mean, he's an enemy agent, for heaven's sake. Foyle: Richard Hunter was not a casualty of wr. Maier and I have met before. Simmons: And? Foyle: Well, enemy agent or whatever, he did strike me as being reasonably civilised. Simmons: Meaning what, exactly? Well, he's risked his life for his country. He was simply doing his duty as he saw it. Simmons: And now he's got nothing left to lose. Foyle: Well, precisely, but more importantly, at the end of our first meeting, he asked me if I investigated mrder in a time of wr. Which didn't mean very much to me at the time, but then, of course, we hadn't found the body. Simmons: Yes. Odd. Foyle: Ten minutes alone with him? Simmons: This is totally contrary to regulations. Foyle gives him an expectant look. Simmons: All right. Ten minutes. Maier's cell. He's standing by the window and looks round when Foyle is let in. Foyle: Remember me? Maier: Of course I remember you. It is Mr Foyle, is it not? The policeman. Foyle: They treating you well? Maier laughs. Maier: I know they are going to kll me. Foyle: I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do to help you. Maier: Then why are you here? Foyle: Because I hoped you could help me. Maier: You want me to help you? Foyle: Yes. Maier: Er, there's an expression that you use... Um... I'm lost for words. How do you imagine I could possibly help you? Foyle: Well, it concerns what you saw the night you arrived in England. Maier: And what makes you think I would wish to help you? Foyle: That's a very good question. Maier: You have a very good answer? Foyle: No. I do know that you arrived by U-boat, and that you're German and not Dutch, and as such we are enemies, and so I quite understand why you'd feel unwilling to help. I certainly don't expect it. But what you saw, what I believe you saw, is nothing to do with our countries being at wr. It's mrder. Maier: Maybe we can help each other. They both sit down at the table. Maier: You will be one of the last people to see me alive. I would like you to get a message to my family. Foyle: What message is that? Maier: What sort of message can a man in my position give? Only that... I said goodbye, and that I was thinking of them at the end. My mother is 80 years old. She may not even survive the wr. And it will not be easy to find her. But I will accept your word that you will try. Foyle: How will I find her? Maier: We live in Alfeld. It's a town south of Hanover. My mother's family name is Hartman. Foyle: Hartman? Maier: It may help you find her. Foyle: Right. Maier: And now... I will tell you what I heard and what I saw. Flashback to Maier rowing in to the shore from the U-boat. Maier (voiceover): I had to work hard to reach the shore. There was a tide and it was taking me to the west. Nobody had warned me of this. And after about five minutes, I heard a sht. Maier ducks and looks round at the sound of the gn. Maier (voiceover): It was a single sht, fired from a gn. I also heard breaking glass. My, my first thought was that someone was fring at me, but then I realised this was not the case. I heard a man. There's a pained cry from where two figures stand near the shore. Maier (voiceover): He was far away but the night was still and the sound carried. It seemed to me the man had been sht. He was in pain. Cut back to the cell. Maier: He was... sobbing. I could see very little in the darkness but there were two men there, on the beach. Flashback to the shore. One of the men is now down on his knees. Maier (voiceover): One man was standing, the other was kneeling. And then there was a second sht. The standing figure aims and fires at the kneeling one, who tumbles down onto the beach below. Maier (voiceover): The man who was standing had sht the man who was kneeling. He then ran away. By this time, my boat had drifted some distance and I began again to row. Cut back to Maier's cell. Foyle: How long between the two shts? Maier: Less than one minute. And that is all I can tell you, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Thank you. Maier: And you will speak one day with my family? Foyle: I will. Maier: Thank you. Foyle goes to leave. Maier: Auf wiedersehen. Foyle looks back at him and nods slightly before leaving. Police station cells. Sam is sitting on one of the beds. She unbuttons her uniform jacket and takes off her belt, which she drops into a suitcase on the floor. Sergeant Rivers comes in with a blanket. Rivers: I hope you realise I could be sht for this. This isn't a hotel, you know. Sam: It's very kind of you, sergeant. Rivers: Just so long as you don't mention it to Mr Foyle. He'd ht the bloody roof. Sam: I'm quite good at keeping my living arrangements a secret from Mr Foyle. Rivers: So, you want the door locked, then? She laughs. Sam: No, thank you. Rivers hands her the blanket. Rivers: Just get yourself a billet. And the sooner, the better. He leaves, closing the door. Sam lies down, covering herself with the blanket. Redmund house. Doctor Redmund is just showing Foyle into the lounge, where Eve is sitting in one of the armchairs. Foyle: Thank you. He and Redmund both sit. Foyle: The, er, the man arrested as a spy on the coast the other night is a German called Hans Maier. He raises his eyebrows expectantly at the Redmunds. Redmund: Yes? Foyle: I met him today. He waits again for a response. Redmund: Yes? Foyle: He's a very brave man, in many ways. He's acutely aware of the situation he's in. And of what's likely to happen to him. Eve: What will happen to him? Foyle: He'll very probably be excuted, Mrs Redmund. He asked me to get a message to his family. To say goodbye and to tell them that he loved them and that he was thinking of them at the end. Redmund: Yes. I, I don't understand why you're telling us all this. Foyle: Don't you? He looks at Eve. Foyle: Do you? To make sure that I was able to find his mother, to deliver the message, he told me that she lived in Alfeld and that her maiden name was Hartman. It's probably just as well that I'm the only person with this information. Eve: What do you mean, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Well, your maiden name is Hartman, Mrs Redmund. Your father's sister emigrated to Germany just before the last wr. So you and Hans are cousins. Redmund: Eve? Eve: Yes. I haven't seen the family for many years. Hans and I used to play together. I had no knowledge that he was coming to this country. I knew nothing. Foyle: Just a coincidence, then, that of all the miles of British coastline he could have chosen he landed just along the beach from the house from which the Home Guard saw the signal being made and where you were having dinner. Redmund: Mr Foyle, I, I, I, I think you should be very careful what you're saying. If you're implying that my wife- Foyle: No. No, not at all. As a matter of fact, I have absolutely no evidence whatsoever that you did slip out of the Lewes's house and made the signal to the submarine. Now, if I did, I'd have to arrest you. Eve: You have my name. Foyle: Circumstantial. As I said, he's a very brave man and I'm very grateful to him for the information he's given me regarding the death of Richard Hunter. Er, he's in jail. He was arrested too quickly to do anyone any harm, and as far as I'm concerned, how he got here and who helped him is none of my business. He stands up, and the Redmunds do too. Foyle: I hope you're able to pass the message on to his mother. I'll see myself out. He leaves. Redmund turns to face his wife. Redmund: I knew. Eve: What? Redmund: I knew it was you. Eve: No. Redmund: Yes. It was just before dinner was served. You disappeared. You were gone for about ten minutes. I wondered, at the time. Then, later, I retraced your steps to the edge of the cliff. I knew it was you. Did, um, Hans contact you? Tell me the truth. Eve: It wasn't Hans. It was just a voice on the telephone. They told me he was coming and what they wanted me to do. Oh, I didn't know what to do, Alan. I just wanted him to arrive safely. Redmund: You just wanted him to arrive safely? Do you know what you are? Do you know what that makes you? Eve: Oh, he's my family! Redmund: You're a traitor! Eve: No! Redmund: Yes! That man is a spy! He should have arrested you! I should call him back! Eve: Oh, well, why don't you? Redmund: Because you're my wife! He backhands her across the face and she cries out at she falls back into the armchair. Redmund: I will never speak to you again. I don't care if you stay or if you go, but as far as I'm concerned, you don't exist. If I come into a room, I want you to leave it. If you try to speak to me, I'll walk out. You can sleep in the spare room. You can prepare your own meals, and you can eat them alone. I want nothing more to do with you. Now get out. Eve: Alan... He turns away to go, leaving her sobbing in the chair. Romney Point. Foyle looks out over the water, then turns to survey the scene. Maier (voiceover): It was a single sht, fired from a gn. I also heard breaking glass. Foyle's gaze falls on a boathouse with a broken window. He lets himself in, studying the wall opposite the window. He spots a bllet embedded in the wood and digs it out with a Knfe. Foyle's office. He's at work at his typewriter. Sam comes in, her hair rather dishevelled. Sam: Sir? Foyle: Sam. Oh, you're looking, er... tired. Are you not sleeping? She brushes her hair back. Sam: Not a great deal. I've got a rather hard bed. Foyle: You all right to drive? Sam: Absolutely. Foyle: Well, sit down. I've just got to finish this. Sam: What is it? Foyle: An arrest report. Sam sits down opposite him and picks up the key with the gear attached. Sam: Where'd you get this from? Foyle: It, um, was found in Richard Hunter's pocket. It's the key to his garden shed. Sam: Was he a mechanic? Foyle: Yes. Why do you ask? Sam: This fob. It's, er, a cone from a gearbox, isn't it? Foyle: Is it? Sam: There's an inner cone and an outer cone, and they sort of connect together on the gearwheel and that's what changes the speed. When I was in the MTC we used to have to strip down engines all the time. The trouble was I could never put them back together again, but I did learn all about the synchro-mesh gearbox. Foyle: The synchro-mesh gearbox. Bishop and Paige are driving along. Bishop: Your flight leaves at 1900 hours from here to Lisbon and over to Washington. I'm afraid it's going to be a bumpy ride. Paige: Oh. Weather? Bishop: Storms over the Atlantic. Paige: I don't care about that. I just want to get home. They're approaching a roadblock, Foyle's car parked in front of it. Paige: What the hell is...? Bishop: It's Foyle. They come to a halt and Foyle approaches the car as Paige gets out. Paige: Mr Foyle. You have a habit of turning up at unexpected times. I'm afraid I can't stop for a chat. If you don't mind, I have a plane to catch. Foyle: There's no rush, Mr Paige. The, er, plane's not going anywhere, and, as a matter of fact, neither are you. Paige: Why's that? Foyle: Because I'm arresting you for the mrder of Richard Hunter. Bishop gets out of the car too. Bishop: You're not being serious, are you? Foyle: And quite possibly you as well, Mr Bishop, if that's your name, as an accessory. Paige: The hell's going on here? Just tell him to get out of the way. Foyle: Well, does your jurisdiction go as far as that? Paige: Bishop! Bishop: Let's hear what he has to say. The three of them walk into a meeting hall. Paige: This is... unbelievable. Have you forgotten who I am, Mr Foyle? I think you know why I'm here. Foyle: Oh, it's no longer relevant, Mr Paige. Paige: What, so, er, I klled Richard Hunter? Why? Foyle: Because about twenty years ago, he invented a system of cones on a gear wheel. A revolutionary idea, which formed the basis of what became known as the synchro-mesh gear system. He invented it, you stole it. You patented it in America two years later and made a fortune out of it. D'you want me to go on? Paige: No. No, no, not really. Bishop: I'd like to hear the rest of it. Foyle: Richard Hunter was a brilliant first-class honours student with a bursary from a highly-respected British company. Stealing his idea from him reduced him to a broken alcoholic failure. You klled him twice, Mr Paige. Paige: I did not kll Richard Hunter. If you want the truth, it was Hunter that wanted to kll me. Foyle: Absolutely true, which is why he had the gn with him when he came to the house. He'd always imagined there was nothing he could do. You were in America, multimillionaire on the other side of the world. When he saw your name in the newspaper and realised you were actually here in Hastings, he knew exactly what he was gonna do. He wasn't gonna sht himself. He was gonna try and get money out of you and sht you if he couldn't. Must have been quite a shock for you, wasn't it, setting eyes on him again? Especially in this place. Paige: Yeah, that was certainly true. Foyle: But what wasn't true is that you refused to meet him. You arranged to see him on the beach, after dinner. Flashback to Sam and Foyle braking to avoid hitting Richard. Foyle (voiceover): I saw him leaving the house. Cut back to the meeting hall. Foyle: He thrat you, didn't he? Flashback to Richard Hunter waiting with the gn. Paige arrives to meet him. Richard: You know what I want. I want money. It was my idea and you took it from me. Paige: Come on, Richard. You know that's not true. You helped me, sure. But I'm the one had to make it work. Richard: No, no, no, no, no, no. No, that's not true, either. If it hadn't been for me, you'd have been nothing. Paige: Well, forgive me, but I'd have said you're the one who's nothing. Richard: Yeah, but, I mean, my son could be something. With your money, he could get an apprenticeship. He could have his chance. You owe me. Paige: I don't owe you anything. Richard aims the gn at him. Richard: It was my idea. You took it from me. You said you were gonna get the backing, the support. You never answered my letters. You pretended I didn't exist. Paige: Put the gn down. Foyle (voiceover): He had the gn. Paige: You're not going to use it. Foyle (voiceover): But you're a risk-taker, Mr Paige. You knew he couldn't kll. Paige: Put it down. Foyle (voiceover): And you were right. Richard lets out an anguished cry and fires off to the right, breaking the boathouse window. Out on the water, Maier witnesses events as Richard sinks to his knees, letting go of the gn. Richard: I'm gonna do for you, Paige. I'm gonna tell everybody. I should have told everybody years ago. I'm gonna tell the whole world what you did to me. Paige grabs the gn from the ground and Richard cries out in fear as Paige takes aim at him. Paige sh*t and Richard falls. Paige looks around, then kneels by the body. Foyle (voiceover): He couldn't kll, but you could. Cut back to the meeting hall. Foyle: You knew exactly what it would look like. A wreck of a man, found dad on a deserted beach with his own gn? A risk to sh*t him, yes. A bigger one to let him live? I don't think so, Mr Paige. He couldn't have been any trouble to you. You took the wrong one. Paige: You have a fine imagination, Mr Foyle. But if you'll forgive me for pointing this out, you can't prove a single word you've said. Foyle: Well, as a matter of fact, I can. You see, wrong again. Er, there's a witness. In fact, there are two. Paige: Two witnesses? Foyle: One was in a boat off the coast, the other was in a car in Wood Lane, the track you took from Romney House. He looks over at Bishop. Foyle: You know about him, don't you? Paige: What? Foyle: Colin Morton. Flashback to Wood Lane. Paige runs past Morton's car, disturbing his sleep. Morton sits up to look out of the car window. Paige lingers a moment, checking to see if anyone's following him, before moving on. Foyle (voiceover): He's what's known as a trekker. Trekkers sleep in their cars away from built-up areas to escape the bmb. He saw you. Cut back to the meeting hall. Foyle: And he'll testify against you. He looks at Bishop again. Foyle: And it was you who abducted him. Bishop: I arrested him, yes. Foyle: And you're, what, Military Intelligence? Paige: Doesn't matter what he is. And I don't give a damn about your deductions, Mr Foyle. You can't arrest me. Tell him. Bishop: Yes, I'm afraid Mr Paige is right. I outrank you, Mr Foyle. May I ask you to come with me? Foyle looks at Paige, who smiles. A pair of RAF officers escort Paige out of the hall. Bishop and Foyle walk across the RAF base together. Bishop: Yes, I'm very sorry I can't let you arrest him. Foyle: Why? Bishop: Because of 50 ships, Mr Foyle. Out-of-date rusting ships, with appalling armaments and accommodation. Ships we may never actually use. Foyle: American ships? Bishop: Yes. They enter another building together. Out on the airfield, a plane is being made ready Bishop (voiceover): We need the Americans, Mr Foyle. They're the best friends we have. Cut back to Foyle and Bishop. Bishop: If we can't persuade them to provide us with arms, food, ammniton and all the rest of it, we will not survive. Foyle sits down opposite him. Foyle: Why do we need Howard Paige? Bishop: Whatever else he may be, Paige has been a great supporter of this country. The American Allies of England have made a huge difference. They've managed to broker a deal that will almost certainly be the start of many more. They've created a lifeline that could last the entire wr. Foyle: Starting with 50 ships? Bishop: Well, the ships are largely symbolic. You have to be Americans to understand their real significance. Paige enters an office and is given a file marked TOP SECRET by an RAF officer. Bishop (voiceover): They get very emotional about it, giving away a piece of their navy to a foreign country. They even had to change their own laws to make it possible. But the point is, it opens the floodgates. By this one commitment, they'll show the world whose side they're really on. Paige looks at the file, then puts it in a case and goes to leave. Bishop (voiceover): America will become the arsenal of democracy, Mr Foyle. Nothing less. Cut back to Foyle and Bishop. Foyle: And arresting him is gonna compromise all this? Bishop: It would destroy it. The American Allies of England would lose all credibility. The scandal would have repercussions you can't begin to imagine. The ships might not even sail. Mr Foyle, this isn't the first time you've crossed paths with Military Intelligence, and I very much hope you understand that the actions I've taken have been forced on me and not taken lightly. Foyle: What, you mean, er, protecting him, lying on his behalf, er, searching my office, arresting Colin Morton because he happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? Bishop: Mr Morton is in Whitehall being interviewed. Foyle: And you'll go on interviewing him, presumably until Paige is safely out of the country. Bishop: I don't like this any more than you do, Mr Foyle. The man is a kller and he should be hanged. But right now, you can draw a direct line between Howard Paige and the outcome of this wr. Paige walks out onto the airfield where a plane is waiting. Cut back to Foyle and Bishop. Foyle: You planning to arrest me? Bishop: I hope you won't make that necessary. Foyle: And, er, what am I gonna to tell Richard Hunter's widow? What am I gonna tell his son? Bishop: You could tell them that he was a casualty of the wr. Foyle: And if I don't go along with all this? Bishop: You're an intelligent and capable man, Mr Foyle. I am sure in this instance you will bring yourself to see things from our point of view. Foyle: I want to see him. He stands up. Bishop: Why? Foyle: Well, I'd love to say goodbye. Airfield. Paige is heading towards the plane when Foyle calls out to him. Foyle (offscreen): Mr Paige. Paige: Mr Foyle. I really hope this is a final goodbye. Foyle and Bishop walk up. Foyle: Oh, well, not at all. Only temporary. Paige: You sound like a sore loser. You know what the French say? C'est la guerre. Foyle: Precisely, Mr Paige. It's the wr. And no wr has lasted forever and neither will this. A year, maybe ten, but it will end. And when it does, Mr Paige, you will still be a thief, a liar, and a m*rder, and I will not have forgotten. And wherever you are, I will find you. He holds up Richard Hunter's workshop key with the gear attached. Foyle: You're not escaping justice, merely postponing it. Au revoir. He walks away with Bishop. Paige gets on board the plane and it prepares takes off. Foyle stops and looks back to watch it leave. Police station. Foyle is walking past the cells when he spots Sam lying down in one of them with a book. Foyle: Sam? Sam: Sir. She sits up. Foyle: What are you doing here? Sam: Well, it's a long story, really. You'd be amazed how many guesthouses and hotels are full. I've spoken to the billeting officer, and although I should take priority, there just isn't anything. Foyle: What, you haven't found anywhere else to live? Sam: The long and short of it is I've ended up here. Foyle: You can't sleep here. Sam: It's not too bad. I mean, the mattress is a bit hard. It's not really a mattress, it's more of a sort of... plank. Foyle: Oh, for God's sake. Really? Sam's silent for a moment. Foyle: Look. Won't bother me if it doesn't bother you, but you can use the back room at my house. Andrew isn't there. Just until you get yourself sorted - if you like. Sam: Could I, sir? Are you sure? Foyle: Yes, yes. Yeah. But, um, look, do me a favour, will you? Don't mention it to the others. They really wouldn't approve, you know? Sam: No. I can be very discreet. Foyle: Good. Come on. She picks up her suitcase and they walk out through the station together. Sam: Have you had dinner, sir? Foyle: No. Why? Sam: Well, I could cook for you, if you like. Foyle: Well, that's very decent of you. Sam: I don't mind. Do you like coq-au-vin? The doors swing shut behind them.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "02x01 - Fifty Ships"}	foreverdreaming
A trio of Spitfires are flying low. Foyle looks up as he comes out of Hastings Town Hall. Sam is waiting outside by the car. CAPTION: SEPTEMBER 1940 Sam: How was it, sir? Foyle: Well, 26 revisions to the Police wr Instructions, a briefing from the regional commissioner's office, "brief" not being the word. Sam: Ready to go, then? Foyle: I was ready shortly after we got here, you know. He gets into the car. A pair of Spitfires are in flight. Rex (voiceover): This is Red Leader. Angels 1-5 heading 0-95. Andrew Foyle is in the cockpit of one of the planes. Andrew: Roger, Red Leader. I'm right behind you. Rex Talbot glances over at him from the cockpit of the other. Rex: See if you can keep up this time, Foyle. Don't want to leave you behind. Andrew: That's France straight ahead, Red Leader. Try not to get lost. They fly out over the sea. Sam and Foyle are driving along. Foyle: You see, the trouble with wr is committees. And the trouble with committees is people who take half an hour to say what you or I could in a couple of minutes. Sam: Mmm. I had an MTC instructor we called "Chloroform", because when he'd finished talking there'd be nobody left awake. Foyle: What did he teach? Sam: Road safety. Foyle gives her a look. Foyle: Now you tell me. The car approaches a roadblock where two members of the Home Guard are sharing a thermos. Home Guard: There you are, mate. Least it's warm and wet, eh? Foyle: Looks like we're not in a hurry. Sam: They seem to be everywhere, sir. I don't think the Home Guard have got anything better to do. Home Guard: Can I see your identity cards, please? Sam: This is Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle. Foyle: Thank you, Sam. I'll look after it. He gets out of the car and takes his ID out. Foyle: What's going on? Home Guard: We've had reports of a boat landing near St Leonard's. He takes Foyle's ID to look at it. A lorry carrying barrels drives up behind their car. Home Guard: That's all in order, sir. Foyle: Nothing yet? Home Guard: No, sir. Thank you. Foyle: Thank you. The lorry driver, Fred Pierce, spots Foyle and suddenly swerves out onto the other side of the road. Home Guard: What the- The lorry accelerates towards the barrier across the road. Home Guard: Where the heck is he going? The lorry crashes right through the barrier. Foyle gets back into the car and Sam takes off after the lorry. Foyle: You up for this? Sam: You bet I am! Sam honks the horn repeatedly as she drives after the lorry. Pierce grabs a pstol and sht at the two of them. Sam and Foyle duck as bllts ricochet off the front of the car. Pierce turns back to face forward and screeches around a corner. He starts to lose control of the lorry and goes off into a ditch. Barrels tumble off the back. Sam brakes and stops some way back. Inside the lorry, Pierce clutches his head. Petrol is pouring from the damaged barrels. Just as Foyle starts to gets out of the car, the lorry bursts into flames. Sam gasps and Foyle sits back down for a moment. When the explsin is over, he gets out. Foyle: Wait here. Sam: Be careful, sir. There are papers scattered all over the road as Foyle walks round to look into the cab of the still-burning lorry. He sees that Pierce is dad. OPENING CREDITS The wreck of the lorry, now extinguished, is still sizzling. Pierce's body is being carried away on a stretcher. Man (offscreen): Have you got him? Milner (offscreen): The van was privately owned, sir. It was registered to a man called- He and Foyle walk around the lorry together, followed by Sam. Foyle: Fred Pierce? Milner: Yes. Foyle: Yeah, I recognised him. Milner: Burglary and asault, six years ago. Foyle: Yep. I arrested him. Sam: Where was he going to, sir? Why didn't he stop? Foyle: Well, he recognised me and must have thought I was part of the roadblock. Milner: And he panicked. Sam: What about? A photographer takes a sht of the brned-out lorry. Foyle: Well, I'd say he was carrying a heck of a lot of fuel, wouldn't you? Couldn't you smell it? Sam: Went up like the Crystal Palace, Milner. Milner picks up some of the scraps of paper from the roadside. Milner: Mmm. Really. You'd have thought he'd have used some sort of metal tnk, sir, not wooden barrels. Foyle: Yeah, he was also, er, carrying enough petrol coupons to fuel half of Sussex. Milner looks at a coupon he's picked up. Milner: NNV. Private cars and goods vehicles. Stolen or forged? Sam: Where did he get the petrol from, sir? Foyle: That's the question. Petroleum Board building. Evans (voiceover): In June, the entire south coast became what we called a pink area. You see, we'd learnt from the mistakes of France. Leonard Evans walks up a staircase with Foyle and Milner. Evans: In particular, the ease with which the invde were able to collect supplies of fuel. We at the Petroleum Board cut the number of pump sites by 40% and reduced stocks. If by any chance the Germans do land in England, they'll find only the very minimum supplies of petrol available. The three men walk into a conference room with maps on the walls. Evans: There's now only one fuel depot in the immediate area. Here, at Bexhill. He points it out on the map. Evans: The general manager's a man called Michael Bennett. Foyle: Has he reported, er, any irregularities? Evans: We went 3% down last month, but that was down to a leaking underground tnk. We're having new tnk built now. Milner: 3%. How much fuel is that? Evans: Too much. Fuel supply is of paramount importance, I need hardly tell you. The entire wr effort depends on it. I think we should launch an immediate investigation into the procedures at Bexhill. Foyle: Mmm. Possibility that might just, er, frighten them off, do you think? Evans: Well, what do you suggest? Foyle: I was wondering perhaps, um, planting somebody in there. Might tell us something. Evans: Undercover? Foyle: As a driver, perhaps. Andrew and Rex's Spitfires come in to land at an airfield. Rex shakes his head at Andrew as they stop. They walk across the airfield together. Rex: I could have had him, I know I could. Andrew: He was coming straight at you. Rex: But I had the advantage. He was right in my sights. Another pilot, Douglas Wright, stands up from a folding chair on the grass as they approach. Douglas: You two been in a scrap? I thought it was just a recce. Andrew: Stray 109. I saved his bacon. Foyle sits down in another of the seats. Rex: Oh, yeah, listen to the bloody line sh*t! Had a perfectly good fix on him, then Foyle came screaming out of the sun and snatched him out of my teeth. Douglas: Did you down him? Andrew: I don't know. He was limping back in low cloud the last I saw. Douglas: You didn't go after him? Andrew: We were nearly out of fuel. Rex: Well, you should have left him to me. I'd have seen to it. Andrew: If I'd left him to you we'd be pulling you out of the drink right now. Rex: Like hell! Andrew: If we could find you. A honking horn draws their attention to a fuel tnk approaching. The driver, Connie Dewar, waves from the cab. Rex: Excuse me, chaps. He goes over to meet her. Douglas sits back down with Andrew. Douglas: I don't think he's too pleased. That would have been his tenth kll. Andrew: He'll get his chance. Connie leans out of the tnk window as Rex approaches. Connie: I've missed you, darling. They share a slow kiss. Connie: I've been thinking of you every minute. Every time I hear a plane, I jump out of my skin. Rex: You don't seriously think Jerry's going to catch me, do you? Connie: Am I going to see you tomorrow at the Flamingo? Rex: Eight o'clock. Connie: I love you. They kiss again, and Rex steps back as Connie drives on. Foyle's office. Sam knocks on the half-open door. Foyle (offscreen): Yeah? She enters to find him pacing as he studies a document. Sam: Tea, sir? Foyle: Thanks. He continues studying the document as she puts it down on the desk. Sam: Is there a problem, sir? Foyle: Erm... Yeah, there is, a bit. He takes a breath as if to speak, but then Milner arrives in the doorway. Milner: Sir, I've just spoken to Freddie Pierce's widow. She couldn't tell me what he was doing or where he was going with the lorry, but she did tell me who he was working for. Foyle: Yeah? Milner: Frank Gannon. Foyle: Oh, well. No surprise there. Sam: Who's Frank Gannon? Milner: He has a club here in Hastings called the Flamingo. A couple of bars and a hotel. He even has his own brewery. Foyle sits down behind his desk. Sam: Is he a racketeer? Milner: Calls himself a businessman. He goes to look over Foyle's shoulder at the desk. Milner: Who's it going to be, sir? Foyle: I've no idea, Milner. Milner: It is a problem, isn't it? Foyle: Yep. Sam: What is? Foyle: We're just trying to think who we can put into this Bexhill fuel depot. Still seriously short of men. Sam: Yes, I know what you mean. Does it have to be a man? I've driven a tractor on my uncle's farm. Even a three-tonner during training. Only on fields, mind. Foyle: Mmm, well, thank you, but I, I don't- Sam: Any racketeer worth his salt would spot a policeman a mile off. No one would suspect me. Milner: She does have a point, sir. Sam: I'd be completely invisible! Like a sort of... secret agent. Foyle: Erm, I'll think about it. Bexhill fuel depot. A tnk drives up to the entrance. Guard: Let her through. It's Connie Dewar driving. Connie: Righto! Thanks. She pulls in at the depot. Sean O'Halloran comes walking up as she gets out. O'Halloran (singing): Sweet Connie, sweet Connie, sweet Connie, my own. Connie: Not now, Sean. O'Halloran: Have you had a bad day? Connie: I'm not feeling well. I just want to get home and have a bath. O'Halloran: Will we be seeing you at the weekend? Connie: Are you buying? O'Halloran: I don't know about that, then. Connie: The amount you're earning, you should be. Violet Davies dashes past. Violet: Twenty minutes! Connie: I'll meet you at the gate! O'Halloran: Now there's a pretty girl. Connie: You keep your eyes off her, Sean. She's spoken for. Bennett (voiceover): I know, Mr Elliott. I know it should have been with you, but, er, you have to speak to the Petroleum Board. Violet arrives in the depot office, where Michael Bennett is on the phone, and waits for him to finish. Bennett: It's all controlled out of London now. Tomorrow. Latest. Goodbye. He hangs the phone up and Violet clears her throat as she steps forward. Bennett: Yes? Violet: It's Friday, Mr Bennett. I came for my wages. Bennett: And what are you doing this weekend? He gets up from his chair. Violet: I'm going out with some of the girls, Mr Bennett. We're going to the Flamingo. He brings a tray of wage packets from under the desk. Bennett: Dancing, eh? I might go down there myself. Fancy a bit of a dance. Violet: I'm meeting my young man. He pulls an envelope out from the tray. Bennett: All you young girls! You're all at it, aren't you? She laughs. Violet: I don't know what you mean, Mr Bennett. Bennett: Come on, then. Come over here. And sign for your wages. He puts an arm round her shoulders as he guides her over to the desk. Pamela Bennett walks in and sees the two of them. Pamela: Violet! Violet: I came for my wages, Mrs Bennett. Bennett: That's right. It's none of your business. She was just signing for them. Violet: Thank you. She signs for the wages. Pamela: Miss Davies, if you don't mind, I have a letter for the tnk Tonnage Committee. I'm afraid it has to go out tonight. Can you type it for me, please? Violet: Yes, Mrs Bennett. She takes the letter. Pamela: That's all, thank you! Violet: Right. She leaves. Pamela gives Michael a look. Bennett: What's wrong with you? Pamela: Nothing, dear. She leaves the office. Bennett glances out of the window and sees Connie cleaning her tnk with a hose outside. He peers through the blinds to admire the view of her bending over. Foyle house. Andrew is sitting in an armchair while Foyle pours a drink at the table. Foyle: Quiet tonight. Andrew: I'm sorry. Foyle: Oh, don't be. Bad week? No, not really. Foyle: How's the bike? Andrew: Goes like a dream. Foyle: Yeah, well. It's a death-trap, isn't it? Andrew: What, a Spitfire isn't? Foyle goes to sit down in the armchair opposite. Andrew: I had a bit of a set-to with Rex this morning. Foyle: Who? Andrew: Rex Talbot. We were at school together, do you remember? Foyle: Dark-haired lad, freckles, played conkers. Andrew: Yeah, that's right. We never dreamed we'd end up together in all this. Now he's number one in the squadron. In fact, he lives for flying. Foyle: And you don't? Andrew: Oh, I'd rather be where I am than square-bashing in the army or stuck inside a ship. I hate the waiting, that's all. That's when it can get to you. Foyle: What was the argument about? Women? Andrew: No, nothing like that. It's nothing, really. Rex and me, we look out for each other. Foyle: Flying a lot? Andrew: Not at the moment. We're being pulled out of the front line for a week. Gives the new blood a chance to come up to scratch. Foyle: New recruits? Andrew: Yes, it's marvellous now. We're no longer alone. Poles, Czechs, Belgians, Free French. They're good chaps, most of them. But not many flying hours. Foyle: Whereas, er, you're an old hand. Andrew: You don't see it. I'm an experienced pilot now. Foyle: At 22. Andrew: You sit there as if nothing's happened. It's not conkers any more. It's a different world. There's Rex, Douglas and myself, and we're the three oldest. Foyle: Well, of course you are. You're the only ones left. He takes a drink. Foyle's office. Foyle hands various documents to Sam, who's dressed in a uniform for the fuel depot. Foyle: Lorry driver's licence. Training board papers. References from the Ipswich depot. Sam: Thank you, sir. Foyle: And you're to report to a Mr Bennett, depot manager, at ten o'clock, and you've got to make contact at least once every 24 hours with Milner. Sam exchanges nods with Milner, who's standing beside Foyle. Foyle: Understood? Sam: Yes, sir. I just wanted to say how grateful I am to you for letting me have this chance, sir. Foyle: And I just want to say, um... please don't let me regret it. Sam: No. Foyle: And if you feel yourself at any time to be in any danger whatsoever, you just get out of there. Bexhill fuel depot. Sam rides up to the entrance on a bicycle. Guard: Can I see your papers, miss? Sam: Yes, of course. She gets them out of the bike basket to show him. Guard: That should be all right. Take it up, Geoff. He gestures for another guard to raise the barrier. Guard: Very good. Sam cycles on through. Bennett (voiceover): Well, this all seems to be in order, Miss, er... Sam: Stewart. She's standing before him in the depot office. Bennett: Stewart. I have to say, Ipswich speak very highly of you. They don't say why they're transferring you. Sam: I requested it. I wanted to be near my mother. She's getting on a bit. Bennett: I see. Do you know the roads? Sam: Absolutely. My uncle has a removals firm near here. I learned to drive in one of his vans. Bennett: Really? What's his name? Sam: Rogers. Gary Rogers. Bennett: Can't say I know him. Well, I'll send you out as, er, Connie Dewar's mate for a couple of days to learn the route. There are no maps. No signposts. And, er, I'll dock your wages for lateness, so you don't want to get lost. Right! Let's get you started. He leads Sam out into the yard where Connie is checking her tnk over. Bennett: Miss Dewar! I've got a new mate for you. Samantha Stewart, transferred from Ipswich. Sam: Hello. Connie Welcome aboard. They shake hands. Bennett: I want you to take her out with you. Make sure she memorises the delivery routes by the end of the week. Connie: Thinking of replacing me? He chuckles. Bennett: Well, er, I'll leave you two together. I look forward to seeing more of you, Miss Stewart. Connie: So, you can drive one of these, can you? Sam: I think so. Connie: You think so? Well, we'll find out. You can park it for me. Reverse it over there. Outside the Flamingo. Foyle and Milner get out of a police car. Foyle: Thank you, Sergeant. The sergeant gets out to stand by the car as the two of them walk up a set of steps. Milner: He's not quite as fast as Sam. Foyle: No. But he doesn't talk as much. They enter the club. It's currently empty aside from the bartender, Jack. Foyle: Been here before? Milner: No, sir. We used to go up to the Cafe Anglais before the wr. Harry Roy and his band. Don't think you'd find him playing here. Foyle: Frank Gannon? Jack: Upstairs. Foyle: Thank you. Gannon's office. Gannon: It's a pleasure to see you, Mr Foyle. How's tricks? Foyle: Frederick Pierce. You know him? Gannon: I know Freddie. Course I do. He runs errands for me. Deliveries, that sort of thing. I hope he's not in any trouble. Foyle: Well, he's not. He's dad. Gannon: You don't say. Milner: He failed to stop at a roadblock. He lost control of his vehicle and died in the crash. Gannon: Well... I'm flabbergasted. Poor old Freddie. Erm, I don't know what to say. Where did this happen? Milner: Channel View Road. Gannon: Channel View? That's way outside of town. I can't imagine what he was doing there. Certainly nothing to do with me. Foyle: He was carrying petrol. Gannon: Petrol. Look, I know what you're thinking, Mr Foyle. We've had our run-ins in the past, but I'm a businessman now. Hotels, pubs, the club. I've grown up, moved on. Learnt the error of my ways. Milner: You've never been offered petrol from illegal sources? Gannon: Of course I have. Who hasn't? But I'm not gonna pay six shillings a gallon. Anyway, it's not just about money, is it? I wouldn't touch it. I'm a patriot. Milner and Foyle leave the club. Milner: He was laughing at us, sir. Foyle: Well, nothing we can do. Milner: We could search the premises. Foyle: Waste of time, I think. I don't think he'd keep anything there. No, it's best if, er, we start the other end with the suppliers, and they might just lead us back to him. Milner: Yes, sir. Let's hope Sam comes up with something soon. Sean O'Halloran's house. A man, Carter, is waiting for him there as he walks in. O'Halloran: And what are you doing here? Carter: We may have to bring our plans forward a few days, Mr O'Halloran. O'Halloran: A few days? Carter: We just want to be sure you're ready. O'Halloran: I'm ready. I'm fine. Just waiting for the word. Carter: Do you have it? O'Halloran: Do you want to see it? Carter nods. O'Halloran: It's right here. He brings out a suitcase and opens it to reveal it contains a bmb. O'Halloran: Now, don't worry, Mr Carter. It's sleeping like a baby. And won't wake up till it hears the alarm. Carter: And then? O'Halloran: It'll wake up most of Bexhill too. He closes the case. Depot yard. Sam is spraying down the front of the tnk. Bennett comes up behind her. Bennett: Settling in, Miss Stewart? Sam: Pretty well, I think, sir. I'd say I'm ready to go out on my own. Bennett: Ooh, I think I'll be the judge of that, thank you very much. We're not gonna let just anyone drive out of here with 500 gallons of fuel. Oh, do carry on. He stands behind and watches her bend over to scrub the front of the tnk. A rider in an RAF uniform arrives on a motorbike. Sam: I see you have a lot of women drivers. Bennett: When I was a boy, you never saw women doing work like this. The wr's changed everything. Sam: It must seem very strange. Bennett: Oh, no, I approve. Andrew (offscreen): Sam! Sam straightens up to see Andrew standing there. Andrew: Well, don't you remember me? I'm Andrew Foyle. Bennett: Do you two know each other? Andrew: Yes. Sam: Yes, we stepped out together. Bennett: What? Sam: When I was working in my uncle's removals firm. She nods pointedly at Andrew. Bennett: You shouldn't be here. You're not authorised. Andrew: Actually, I brought over a requisition slip. There it is. He hands Bennett the slip. Bennett: That's still against procedure. O'Halloran comes up. O'Halloran: Good morning to you, Mr Bennett. Bennett walks off with him. Sam: You mustn't tell anyone who I am. Andrew: Why? You're not working undercover or anything, are you? Sam: What's so funny about that? Andrew: Oh, well, nothing. Sam: Look, I can't tell you anything. Except that someone's stealing petrol, lots of it, and I'm here to have a nose around. Andrew: So my father put you in here? Sam: I volunteered. Andrew: Oh. Well, I, I won't say a word. Violet comes out and sees the two of them standing close together. Andrew: In fact, you could give my bike a wash while you're at it. Violet: Andrew! What are you doing here? Andrew: Oh, aren't you pleased to see me? Sam heads back over to the tnk. Violet: Of course I am. Of course I am. Don't say that. She and Andrew kiss. Andrew: I talked one of the erks into letting me bring over some paperwork. Make me a cup of tea before I go, will you? Violet: All right. Mr Bennett told me you two know each other. They walk towards Sam at the tnk. Andrew: Yes, er, she was my best girl. Violet: When? Andrew: Oh, it was a long time ago, and it's all over now. Isn't it, Sam? Sam: Totally. He takes Violet's hand. Andrew: Do you want to come dancing? I've got a twelve-hour pass. Violet: Love to. They walk off together. Fuel depot office. Bennett hands the requisition slip to Pamela. Bennett: Here. Pamela: This is a big order. Why was it brought in by a pilot officer? Bennett: Don't ask me. Anyway, it's got nothing to do with you. Pamela: Well, it's just it's hush-hush, isn't it? Bennett: What? Pamela: This information. Well, if they're laying in all these extra supplies, it must mean there's a big operation coming up. Foyle's office. There's a knock on the door. Foyle (offscreen): Yep? Milner comes in, followed by Sam in her undercover uniform. Foyle: Sam. How are you getting on? Sam: I think I'm fitting in, sir. Milner: Well, you really look the part. Foyle: Tell me about the others. Sam: Well, I have to say they seem a nice bunch. I don't really like having to spy on them. Anyway, I don't think any of them could be involved. Milner: What makes you think that? Sam: Well, you have to understand the system really. It does seem pretty above board. Foyle: Go on. Sam: Well, no fuel goes out without a requisition order from the customer. A dispatch rider arrives at the depot entrance. Sam (voiceover): The requisition orders are usually brought in by dispatch riders. The depot is serving army and air bases, hospitals, the fre service, commercial garages. Just about everyone. The driver hands a requisition slip to Pamela Bennett. Sam (voiceover): Mrs Bennett takes delivery. She does the office work and checks the administration. Depot office. Pamela hands the slip over to her husband. Sam (voiceover): But it's her husband, Michael Bennett, who oversees the movement of the fuel. He's the one in charge. Depot yard. Bennett checks on the depot fuel tnk with a clipboard. Sam (voiceover): Bennett is always there when the tnk are filled, and he always checks the figures. Bennett walks round to where Connie is climbing down from her tnk. Sam (voiceover): The main tnk have gauges which show exactly how much fuel has been taken. And there are gauges on the tnk too. Bennett hands the clipboard over to Connie for her to sign. Sam (voiceover): Bennett gets the driver to sign his ledgers, so no one can argue about how much has left the compound. The tnk drives away and another pulls up behind it. Sam (voiceover): There are about twenty deliveries a day and the process is always the same. RAF base. Connie walks around her parked tnk. Sam (voiceover): When the fuel reaches the delivery point, the same thing happens again. An RAF officer signs a record book, then hands it to Connie for her to do the same. Sam (voiceover): The customer has a copy of his original requisition order and signs for the fuel he receives. It's all very simple, really. Depot office. Pamela puts a stack of books into the safe with Bennett standing by. Sam (voiceover): At the end of the day, all the signed paperwork is kept in a safe in the main office. It's checked once a month by the Petroleum Board. They send someone round. Cut back to Foyle's office. Sam: I've been thinking, sir. Bennett couldn't possibly be stealing fuel. Milner: He'd have to have the tnk driver on his side. And then the customer at the other end too. Sam: That's right. And his wife would have to know too. Milner: But there's still 3% missing. Sam: Bennett puts that down to a leak in the pipes. Milner: So, are you getting on with the other drivers? Sam: Yes. They're taking me out tonight. Foyle: Really? Where you going? Sam: There's a club they all go to. The Flamingo. Foyle and Milner exchange a look. Foyle: Oh, right. Well, have a very nice time, be in touch with same time Milner tomorrow, and don't do anything daft. Sam: Yes, sir. She goes to leave, then stops. Sam: Oh, I forgot to mention I met your son. Foyle: What, at the depot? Sam: Yes. Foyle: Did he recognise you? Sam: Yes he did, sir, but, um, he didn't say anything. Foyle: What was he doing there? Sam: He didn't say. Foyle: Oh. He looks at his watch. Foyle: I'll ask him. Restaurant. Foyle is sitting at a table with Andrew and Rex. Rex: Well, this is very kind of you, sir. Foyle: Not at all. Andrew's been talking about you. I thought it was about time we met. Rex: We already have, sir. Foyle: Well, yes, I know, but- Rex: Actually, I have a slight confession to make. I was the kid who kicked the football through your greenhouse window. Foyle: Oh, right. He looks over at Andrew. Foyle: Well, you got the blame for that, didn't you? Andrew: Yeah. Not the detective you think you are, Dad. Rex volunteered straight from school. He's been down here nearly six months. Rex: Five. Don't forget I had a month off. Andrew: Ah. Rex: I, er, joined the Caterpillar Club, sir. Andrew: He got sht down and had to use his chute. Rex: Yeah, that was six months ago. Couple of Messerschmitts got the better of me. Andrew: Ah, I should have been there. Rex: I wish you had been. I was 12,000 feet up. I was lucky I had my hood open. I was totally out of control. Spinning round all over the place. I was more or less sucked out of the cockpit. Somehow got the parachute open and the next thing I knew, splosh! I was in the sea off the coast of France. Foyle: How'd you get back? Rex: I was picked up by a fishing boat. Unfortunately, I got a bit bust up. Whole month in hospital. And meanwhile Andrew here was usurping my place in as number one in the squadron. Andrew snorts. Andrew: Hardly! A waiter brings their meals over. Waiter: Pâté, sir? Rex: That looks a lot better than the food they serve in the mess. Andrew: I'll say! Foyle: Passes out a bit of a rarity, are they? Rex: No, it's not too bad, sir. As a matter of fact, I've got a twelve-hour. Taking my girl out tonight. Foyle: Oh. Good. Rex looks at Andrew. Rex: Are you coming? You and Violet? Andrew: Yeah. Foyle: Violet? Andrew: Yep. She's, er, just a friend, Dad. Foyle: Doesn't, um, doesn't work at the fuel depot by any chance, does she? Rex: I'm sorry, I haven't spoken out of turn, have I? Foyle: No, no, no. Not at all. No secrets between Andrew and me. Are there, son? Andrew sighs a little. Connie and Violet's flat. Sam (voiceover): Tell me, Connie, how did you become a tnk driver? The two of them are getting ready for their night out in Connie's bedroom. Connie: You don't want to know. Sam: No, I do. I'm interested. Connie: There's not much to tell. I left school when I was sixteen and got a job over at Bristol, waxing the inside of barrels. It was bloody horrible. Thirteen hours a day, two quid a week. And then I had to help load up the bogeys. Not much fun, I can tell you. Sam: Bogeys? Connie: Trucks. Thought you worked in a removals firm. Sam: Yes, that's right. So then what happened? Connie: One of the drivers got sick, and I persuaded the boss to let me take his place. Soon as I was trained up, I scarpered and came over here. Violet comes into the room. Violet: You got any spare stockings? Connie: You've got to be kidding. Here. Help yourself. She tosses Violet a bottle from the dressing table. Violet: What is it? Connie: Stockings in a bottle. Violet laughs. Violet: What will they think of next? Connie: Help yourself to some lipstick if you want, Sam. Sam: Oh, thanks. Connie: Those pilots aren't going to believe their luck when they see you. Violet: Just make sure you find one of your own. Sam: How long have you and Andrew been going steady? Connie: Long enough. He and Vi are going to get married as soon as the wr's over. Sam: Really? Violet: A double wedding. Connie: Him and Vi and Rex and me. And we'll have a fly-past. All the other pilots in their Spits. Sam: Wow. Connie: It'll be lovely. All right. I'm ready. She stands up, then clutches her back. Connie: Ooh. Violet: Connie, are you all right? Connie: Yes. Violet: Are you sure? Connie: I'm just tired. Violet: You should see the quack. You've been like this all week. Connie: I'm fine. Come on, Vi. We're going to be late. Airfield, evening. Andrew and Rex are walking together. Rex: Sorry about lunch. Didn't mean to blab about you and Vi. Andrew: Well, fools rush in. Rex: You should have warned me. Andrew: I knew I shouldn't have invited you. Rex: You've nothing to be shamed of. Vi's a corker. Andrew: Well, you keep your hands off her, all right! They reach a car where Douglas and another RAF office are waiting. Douglas: Come on, tail-end Charlies! Wing Commander Turner walks by as they get in. Andrew: Sir! Turner: Heading into Hastings? Andrew: Yes, sir. Turner: Well, don't do anything that involves alcohol, loose women or dancing. Douglas: How about all three, sir? Turner: That's perfectly all right. They laugh as Turner walks off, and start driving. Andrew: Maybe tonight's your night, Douglas. About time, huh? They laugh and chatter as they drive off-base. The Flamingo. Music is playing and the club is doing a lively trade. O'Halloran walks through with a cigarette and a beer. The three girls from the depot have a table together. Sam: No, I won't be dancing tonight. Violet: No? Sam: Two left feet. Connie: Really? Sam: Really. Connie: Things are looking up, girls. Look who's arrived! The group of RAF officers arrive. Rex gives Connie a kiss. Rex: You look ravishing. Connie: Is that all? Rex: Oh. Delightful. Delicious. Delovely. Violet: Why don't you ever say nice things like that to me? Andrew looks rather awkward. Violet: Mmm? Douglas approaches Sam at the table. Douglas: I don't think we've met. Sam: Sam Stewart. Douglas: Douglas Wright. They shake hands. Douglas: Can I buy you a drink? Sam: I already have one. Douglas: Then why don't you buy me one and I can join you? She chuckles. Sam: Brylcreem boys. Connie: Rex, darling, come and dance with me. She leads him to the dancefloor. Violet: Shall we go and dance? Andrew: Mmm, okay. Violet: All right. Rex claps Andrew on the shoulder in passing. Rex: I'll have a pint. Andrew: Come on. Violet: Okay! Rex and Andrew are dancing with their partners while Douglas and Sam sit and watch. Douglas: How about that drink? Come on. They get up. Frank Gannon enters the club and goes over to the bar. Gannon: A good night. Jack: Could get livelier. Gannon: Tell them to keep it this way. They'll drink more. Gannon moves on through the club, stopping for a moment to watch the dancing couples before moving on. Sam is at the bar. O'Halloran walks up behind her. O'Halloran: Now here's a face I haven't seen before. I'm Sean O'Halloran. How do you do? Sam: Hello. I'm Samantha Stewart. I've seen you. O'Halloran: You have? Sam: Building the new tnk. O'Halloran: Me and my boys. Sam: That's right. I heard you were losing fuel. Something to do with leaky pipes. O'Halloran: And where did you hear a thing like that? Sam: I don't know. Mr Bennett, I suppose. So, how long have you been at Bexhill? O'Halloran: I'm in and out. Sam: And where do you come from? Ireland originally, of course. O'Halloran: I'm from Tullamore in County Offaly. Sam: Beautiful. O'Halloran: It is. And why do you want to know? Sam: I'm just interested. O'Halloran: You seem to be interested in a lot of things. Rex and Connie sit down together. Connie: When d'you have to be back tonight? Rex: Not till later. Connie: Why don't we go back to my flat? Rex: What about Violet? Connie: We drew straws. I have you all to myself for once. Just you and me. They kiss. Rex looks down for a moment. Rex: I'll, um, I'll go and get some more drinks. Violet and Andrew are dancing together to a slower number. Violet: So, were you going to tell me about her, then? Andrew: Who? Violet: Sam Stewart. When did you know her? Andrew: Oh, ages ago. You're not jealous, are you? She chuckles. Violet: So what are you doing tonight? Andrew: What? You mean... later? Violet: I wondered if you were going to invite me home. Andrew: That may not be so easy. Um... Violet: Well, I promised Connie I'd give her the run of the flat. And you live in Hastings. Andrew: Not alone, I'm afraid. Violet: What about a hotel? She puts her arms around his neck, and he smiles. O'Halloran: So, you were at Ipswich, were you? He and Sam are still over by the bar. Sam: Yes. O'Halloran: How long were you there? Sam: Couple of months. O'Halloran: Let me tell you. There's something about working with fuel. It gets under your skin. Under your nails. You can scrub all you like. But in the end, it's part of you. He grabs Sam by the arm. O'Halloran: Now, why is it you don't have a tnk driver's hands? Andrew comes into the bar area behind them and then stops. Sam (offscreen): Gloves. O'Halloran: You seem to have a lot of curiosity in you. Sam: Could you let go of my hand? You're really hurting my wrist. She tries to pull away, but he doesn't let her. Andrew: What's happening here? O'Halloran: Mr Foyle, isn't it? Andrew: Was he hurting you? Sam: I'm fine. O'Halloran lets her go and turns back to the bar as she cradles her wrist. Andrew: Why don't you get the hell out of here, O'Halloran? Nobody invited you. Across the room, Douglas and the fourth member of their group from the base turn to look. O'Halloran: And there was me thinking this place was open to everyone. Andrew: Well, you were wrong. We don't want you here. Douglas: You or your mates. RAF Officer: Bloody bog-dwellers. Violet walks into the bar area. O'Halloran: You think you're too good for us, do you? Andrew: We're the ones fighting this wr. You're just getting rich watching from the side! Sam: Andrew, It's all right. Violet: Andrew, what's going on? Andrew: I said, why don't you get out of here? O'Halloran: Why don't you make me. Andrew: Maybe I will! O'Halloran: I'm waiting. Andrew moves as if to turn away, then punches him in the face. It immediately turns into a big fight, with the other RAF officers wading in. Rex stands up from the table he's sharing with Connie, taking his jacket off as he heads towards the fight. Connie: Rex, please! Rex: I'm sorry. Look after this for me, will you? He tosses the jacket to her. By the time he reaches the bar area, the fight has spread. Rex grabs O'Halloran and punches him. Connie stands watching. Jack brushes past her and hurries in to the back bar area. Jack: Not again! He hurries off. At the bar area, Sam stands back, trying to keep out the way of the fight. Outside the Flamingo. Connie hurries down the steps and dashes off, sobbing. An army vehicle screeches up and Military Police rush out. MP: Let's be having you. This is it! Here. They run towards the club. MP: Right, you lot! MP: Oh, give up. MP: Come on, then! Connie and Violet's flat. Connie runs up the stairs to her room, crying. She throws herself onto the bed, then picks up the framed photo of Rex on the nightstand. Throwing it to the floor, she buries her face in the pillow and sobs. Wing Commander Turner's office, daylight. Andrew is standing to attention. Turner: So, what do you have to say for yourself? Andrew: I didn't start it, sir. Turner: Not what I heard. I may be wrong, Foyle, but I thought we were fighting the Germans, not the Irish. Andrew: Well, everyone knows whose side the Irish are really on. Turner: Last time I looked in the newspapers, they were neutral. Andrew: Which is why German U-boat crews can walk into areas and buy their cigarettes. Turner: That is total nonsense. Andrew: How many ships have we lost in the Atlantic this month, sir? The fact that we can't use the bases on the south and west coast of Ireland has been a total disaster. Even Mr Churchill has said as much. Turner: Go on. Andrew: We're protecting the Irish. If it wasn't for our convoys, they'd have no food. But they've given us nothing in return, and they don't even care who wins this wr. Turner: Is that what you believe? Andrew: A lot of us do, sir. Turner: Well, how do you square that with the thousands of Irishmen now fighting for Britain? Andrew: O'Halloran isn't one of them. Turner: Or the men at sea. Merchant marines, the Royal Navy. Irish volunteers out there facing the U-boats while you sit here sniping at them and their country. Andrew: I was just- Turner: Now, listen to me, Foyle. We need Irish labour. With manpower shortages the way they are, we couldn't manage without them. And whatever your political views, your performance last night was pig-headed and deplorable, to say the least. Andrew: Sorry, sir. Turner: Now get out. If you weren't such a damn good pilot, you, Talbot and Wright, I'd put all three of you on a charge. Andrew puts his cap back on and salutes. Andrew: Sir. Police station. Milner and Foyle are walking through the corridors together. Milner: And I have something on the man who approached Sam at the Flamingo. He's called Sean O'Halloran. He's from Tullamore in County Offaly. He's been at the depot for the last six months. He and the men are building the bunds, sir. They're meant to protect the fuel tnk from bmb blasts. Foyle: Has he got a record? Milner: No, not as such. But Special Branch interviewed him twice last year. Once in London, the 28th of July, and then again in Coventry at the end of August. They reach Foyle's office. Foyle: Coventry, August. There was a bmb. Milner: Yes, sir. klled five people, injured twelve more. Went off in a busy marketplace. A bmb also went off in London. It was in the left-luggage office at King's Cross station. One man was klled, fourteen injured. Foyle: You telling me he's, um, IRA? Milner: Nothing was ever proven. He was interviewed and them released both times. Foyle: Hmm. Erm, what happened with this, um, fight at the club, exactly? Milner: It was started by your son, sir. Foyle: Oh. Milner: But Sam is adamant that he came to her defence. Foyle: Right. Milner: Do you think we should tell Sam about O'Halloran? Foyle: Er, no, wouldn't help. She's far too imaginative. But any sign of any more trouble, get her right out. Milner: Yes, sir. He leaves. Fuel depot office. Michael Bennett paces, lecturing Sam, while his wife opens the safe. Bennett: And I will not have my girls, any of my girls, involved in barroom brawls. Do you understand that? Sam: I wasn't actually involved, Mr Bennett. Bennett: You were there. Sam: There were quite a few of us there, really. Sam watches Pamela Bennett as she enters the combination to open the safe. Bennett: Have you memorised the routes? Sam: Yes. I think so. Bennett: Good. This is your last day with Connie. Tomorrow, you can take the tnk out on your own. Sam: Right. Pamela: What are you looking at? Sam: Nothing, Mrs Bennett. Bennett: All right, you can go. Sam leaves the office. Pamela: I don't like that girl. Bennett: You don't like any of the girls. Pamela: Is it any wonder? "My girls"! She sits at the desk and sighs. Pamela: Why do you call them that? Bennett: What is the matter with you? I had to bend the rules to let you work here, you know. Pamela: What else could I do? The WVS? The knitting circle? I do what you tell me to do. That's all I've ever done. And I can't stand it. Andrew and Violet are walking along a street. Violet: I just don't understand you. What was all that about the other night? Andrew: Look, I've already been carpeted by the Wing Co. Don't you start. Violet: I don't like fighting. Andrew: Nor do I. Violet: Well, you didn't show it. Connie's not talking to Rex, I can tell you that. Andrew: Oh, so you're not going to forgive me either? She stops and swings round to face him. Violet: Well, why should I? Andrew: Because you know I'm crazy about you. Violet: Are you? You haven't even taken me home with you yet. Andrew: I can't take you home. I live with my father. Violet: Can't I meet him? Andrew: You don't want to meet him. Violet: Why not? What's wrong with him? Andrew: Well, nothing, but... Do you want to come out for a snifter tonight? We can go back to the Flamingo and... Violet: I thought you'd have all been banned from there by now. Andrew: We're their best customers! Most of the time. Violet: You're not having me on, are you, Andrew? You and I are going to be together after the wr? Andrew: Of course we are. She kisses him. Andrew looks up at the sound of an engine, and sees Sam drive past in a tnk. Then he turns back to Violet and smiles at her before kissing her again. Fuel depot. Sam drives the tnk back in with Connie in the passenger seat. Depot yard. Sam is filling one of the on-site fuel tnk from the tnk while Connie stands down below. Sam: Mr Bennett said I could go out on my own tomorrow. Connie: Bully for you. Sam: You're not still upset about last night, are you? How long have you and Rex been together? Connie: I don't want to talk about him. Sam: Connie, it wasn't his fault. I mean, if anyone started the fight, it was Andrew, and he only got involved because of me. Connie: Bloody Andrew Foyle. He's Rex's best friend, did you know that? Sam: No. Connie: He had to come rushing in like the knight in shining armour, didn't he? You said you walked out with him. Sam: Yes, a long time ago. Connie: Before he met Rex? Sam: Why do you want to know? Connie: Pilots. They're all liars. They don't care about anybody except themselves. She looks at the fuel gauge as the needle goes down to 200 gallons. Sam: Connie. Connie: That's it. 300 gallons. She takes the hose back from Sam and Sam climbs down from the storage tnk. Sam: Hang on a minute, there's something wrong. She points at the tnk. Connie: What? Sam: Look at the gauge. There's 200 gallons left in the tnk. Connie: We're empty. She smacks the gauge. Connie: Sometimes it gets stuck. She heads round to the front of the tnk. The two of them are driving along a country lane, Sam in the passenger seat. Connie: I can drop you off, if you like. Sam: What? Connie: Get off early. There's no need to come all the way back to Bexhill. Sam: Don't I have to sign myself out? Connie: I'll do that for you. Nobody ever checks. I'm doing you a favour, Sam. There's no need to thank me. She pulls to a halt and Sam gets out. Connie: You can get a bus. Sam: Connie! Connie: I'll see you tomorrow. She drives off, leaving Sam behind. Connie drives on through the woods. She stops in front of a lorry loaded with barrels. Carter gets out of the driver's seat. Carter: How are you, Connie? Connie: Just get on with it, Carter. I don't need to talk to you. He grabs her by the arm as she goes to walk past him. Carter: What's wrong with you all of a sudden? You all right? Connie: No, I'm sick. I'm sick of you and the whole thing. Carter: Well, I've got a message to pass on to you. We're doubling our order. Connie: What? You've got to be kidding. Someone will notice! Carter: We may have to move on, Connie, any day now, so we're just making the most of it while we can. This is not like you. You're not usually so moody. Connie: I wish I'd never started with all this. I should never have got involved in the first place. Carter: But you are involved, Connie. And you'll be leaving the depot soon. We'll start again someplace else. Connie: What if I don't want to? Carter: I'd be very careful what you say, if I was you. You're in. Getting out isn't so easy. Connie: Are you thrat me? Carter: Never said a word. Connie: Well, you tell him from me, I'm not going anywhere. And if he doesn't like it, there are stories I could tell. And that is a thrat. Now, let's get this stuff unloaded. She heads round to the side of the tnk. Foyle's office. Sam is reporting in to him and Milner. Sam: She was lying. There were at least 200 gallons left in the tnk. I saw the gauge. Milner: What time was it? Sam pulls a note from her pocket. Milner: Half past four. See? I made a note of all the times and deliveries. Milner: And where was this? Sam: She dropped me off at a bus stop. Well, it was more in the middle of nowhere, really. Then I think she went into the woods, where she could have transferred the fuel to another tnk. Milner: Or a lorry. Could quite easily have gone into more of Frank Gannon's barrels. Sam: But that would be frightfully dangerous. Foyle: Where was the, er, delivery made? Sam: At the works out at Silverhill. Foyle: They requisition it? Sam: Yes, sir. Foyle: Then they requested and should have received a specific quantity. The same quantity that left Bexhill, and if she's held onto 200 gallons, why wasn't it noticed? Sam: Perhaps they're involved in it too. Milner: Could there be a link between Bennett and Gannon? Sam: Quite possibly. If only there was something more I could do. Doctor Henderson's office. Connie: What? Henderson: There's no doubt about it. You're pregnant. Did you really have no idea? Connie: No. I, I haven't been feeling well, but... How was I to know? Henderson: Well... Connie: Oh, Lord. She sits down. Henderson: I take it you're unmarried. Connie: Of course I'm unmarried. How many months? Henderson: You're about four months pregnant, Miss Dewar. The, er, father? Connie: What about him? Henderson: Are you still seeing him? Connie: I see him all the time. Henderson: You'll have to tell him. Connie: Of course I'll tell him. Henderson: Is he in a position to... Connie: I don't know. I don't know what he's going to say. Oh, Lord! Petroleum Board building. Leonard Evans leads Foyle up the stairs. Evans: Your officer is still working inside the Bexhill depot? Foyle: Yes. Evans: It was a Miss Stewart, as I recall. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Evans: That was the name on her papers. Has she found anything amiss? Foyle: Well, as a matter of fact, yes, er, links between the depot and, er, a well-known crook. Gannon's office at The Flamingo. Connie is sobbing as he pours a drink. Gannon: Come on, Connie. You tell me all about it. Take your time. His hand is on her shoulder. An office at the Petroleum board. Foyle: He has the resources to move petrol around on a very large scale, and there's evidence of at least one driver being involved. Evans: Well, I'm afraid from what you say, Mr Foyle, this is not just a police matter. I'll have to order an immediate audit. Foyle: Which would mean what? Evans: Closing down Bexhill completely. Going over every fuel movement of the past twelve months at least. Foyle: Well, if you move in before we make arrests, we won't have heard the last of it. There are other depots, other drivers. It won't stop. Evans: Another 48 hours. Foyle: Thank you. He moves to leave. The Flamingo. Rex is drinking at a table with Douglas. Andrew and O'Halloran come face to face in front of the bar, and then O'Halloran moves on. Andrew looks after him for a moment, then approaches Jack behind the bar. Jack: What do you want? Andrew: Well, a pint of best, if you don't mind. Jack: Maybe I do. What makes you think you're still welcome here? Andrew: Oh, come on, Jack. You're not going to let a little scrap spoil an old friendship, are you? Jack: What friendship? He moves to get Andrew his drink. Violet has joined Rex and Douglas at their table. Violet: I don't know. Douglas: No, don't know. Violet sits up as she spots Gannon escorting Connie into the room. Violet: Here's Connie! Rex: Connie! Where've you been? I've been looking for you! He hurries over to her. Rex: You all right? She's still teary. Connie: Am I all right? No, Rex. I'm not all right! Rex: Have you been drinking? Connie: Get away from me! Rex: Connie! Connie: I don't want to see you! Violet comes over, taking her by the arm. Violet: Oh, Connie, what is it? Douglas: I think someone should take her home. Rex: I will. Connie: No, I'm not going with you. Rex: Darling! Connie: Don't call me that! I'm tired of it! I'm tired of it all! Being used, being pushed around. I've had enough! Michael and Pamela Bennett are also in the club, and look round at her raised voice. Connie: I know something. D'you know what I know? I've got a little secret! Maybe it's time I started sharing it around! Andrew has joined the group, standing with Violet. Andrew: I've got my bike outside. I'll see her home. Violet: Andrew. Andrew: Well, come on, Vi. She won't go with Rex and someone's got to take her. Connie steps away as he moves towards her. Connie: I know what you want! Andrew: I don't want anything. I think you should be in bed. He takes her by the arm. Violet: Go on, then. Andrew: Come on, Connie. She sobs as he leads her out. Andrew: It's all right. Connie: I'm going to tell! I'm going to tell everyone! The Bennetts watch her leave. Violet stands watching them go with Rex and Douglas. Douglas: I think you really upset her that night. Rex: When a romantic evening turns into a punch-up, what do you expect? It was bloody Foyle's fault. Violet: Language! Rex: Sorry. Pamela: I told you we shouldn't have come here. Bennett: You don't want to stay? Pamela: No. I don't. Bennett: Right! He goes to leave. Violet: Well, thanks a lot, boys. Another lovely evening. She walks off. Connie and Violet's flat, night. Andrew and Connie pull up on his motorbike. She gets off the back. Connie: Thank you, Andrew. Andrew: That's all right. Are you feeling any better? Connie: I just want to go to bed. Andrew: D'you want me to come in with you? Connie: No. I'll be all right. Andrew: I'll just see you in. All right? He walks her in through the main door of the block of flats. Depot yard, morning. Sam pulls up into the yard in a tnk and Bennett comes up to her. Bennett: Miss Dewar not here yet? Sam: No, Mr Bennett. Bennett: She's an hour late. Where is she? Sam: I don't know sir. O'Halloran speaks from behind them. O'Halloran: She had a skinful last night. I doubt you'll see her today. Bennett checks his watch then turns back to Sam. Bennett: Do you know where she lives? Sam: Yes. Bennett: Right. Take my car. Go round and collect her. Don't let her tell you she's not well enough to work, and don't come back without her. He strides away. Sam: Right, sir. Sam pulls up outside the block of flats in Bennett's car. She gets out and calls up at the window of the flat. Sam: Connie? She goes over and rings the doorbell of the outer door. There's no response, and she knocks as well, then bends down and gets the spare key from behind a brick to let herself in. Sam hurries up the stairs inside. Sam: Connie? She stops as she sees Connie lying at the corner of the staircase, dad. Outside the block of flats, later. Police officers are going back and forth. Sam leans against one of the cars. Inside, Milner is inspecting the body. Milner: Her neck is broken, sir. Foyle: Could have fallen. What d'you think? She'd been drinking, hadn't she? Milner: Yes, sir, but look. He indicates her bruises wrist. Milner: Bruises. Some sort of fight? Foyle: Maybe. Milner: If she was involved in this petrol racket, perhaps she fell out with whoever was employing her. Foyle: Maybe. What a waste. He stands up and looks up the stairs. Foyle: Her room's up here, is that right? Milner: Yes, sir. Top of the stairs. Connie and Violet's flat. Foyle looks around and Milner follows him in. Milner: Connie shared with a girl called Violet Davies. She also works at the Bexhill depot. Foyle: Violet Davies. Well, well, well. Milner: Sir? Foyle: Which bed is which? He looks in a handbag hanging from the end of one bed and finds an identity card. Foyle: This is Connie Dewar. Milner finds the smashed photo frame of Rex beside the bed, and shows it Foyle. Milner: Boyfriend? I'll find out who it is. Foyle goes over to pick it up. Foyle: I know who it is. Milner: Sir? Foyle: This is, um, a friend of Andrew's. Rex Talbot. Milner: Really. They start searching the room. Foyle: Who else is in the building? Milner: The landlady is a Mrs Sutton. She's away at the moment. He picks up a small tin from the dressing table. Milner: This is an odd thing to have on your dressing table. Bicarbonate of soda. My wife's taking that. Foyle: Ask her about it. Milner: Yes, sir. Foyle spots something under Connie's pillow. He pulls out a diary. Foyle: Wouldn't you know it? I've got her diary here. Flipping through the entries, he finds a photograph of Andrew in his RAF uniform. Outside. Foyle and Milner emerge and go over to where Sam is waiting. Sam: Is it mrder, sir? Foyle: Looks like it. Sam: You don't think she could have... thrown herself down the stairs? Foyle: Why? Sam: She was so miserable yesterday. Foyle: Was she? Sam: It was to do with Rex. This pilot she was seeing. She got very angry with him for getting involved in a fight. Foyle: No, it wasn't su1c1de. Sam: This is all about petrol, isn't it, sir? Foyle: Well, maybe. You're sure it was, erm, Rex Talbot she was seeing, yes? Sam: Yes. Foyle: What about the other girl? Sam: Violet? Foyle: Was she seeing anyone? Sam: I don't really know. Foyle: You don't really know? Sam: Well, er... Foyle: Oh, look, for God's sake, just tell me the truth. Think I'm an idiot? Really. Don't keep anything from me just because it involves my son, all right? She was seeing Andrew, wasn't she? Sam: Yes, sir. Foyle: Why didn't you tell me before? Sam: I didn't want to say. I know he's not involved in this, sir. Foyle: Well, of course he's involved. It's quite obvious he's involved, and it's mrder, and that means nobody is protected, not even him. You understand? Sam: Yes, sir. He walks off, and after a moment, Milner follows him. Police station canteen. Milner is interviewing Violet. Milner: I'm sorry. This must be very difficult for you, Miss Davies. Violet: Connie was a good friend to me. We looked after each other. Milner: How long had you shared a room? Violet: Since the start of the year. Er, we joined the depot at about the same time and sort of took a liking to each other. Milner: Were you close? Violet: Yes. After Connie met Rex, she didn't confide in me as much as she used to. She was so in love with him. But... I, I sometimes thought he upset her. Like the other night. The stupid fight. It had to be O'Halloran. He's trouble. Foyle enters the room and walks up to join them. Violet: But Connie had been looking forward to that evening. It shouldn't have had to end like that. Milner: This is Mr Foyle. Foyle: Hi. He sits down at a nearby table to listen. Violet: Hello. Milner: How long had she and Rex been walking out? Violet: A long time. They ht it off right from the start. Six, er, seven months. Milner: And was he her only boyfriend? Violet: Yes. Yes, she was in love with him. Milner: She wasn't seeing anybody else? Violet: No. She hesitates, catching Foyle's attention. Violet: Well, maybe. I don't know. Foyle: Tell us what happened last night. Violet: Connie had been drinking. She was upset. She said something that was very strange. Foyle: What was that? Violet: She said she was tired of being used. And that she knew something. She said she had a secret. Foyle: What, she was talking to you? Violet: No. She was in such a state, she could have been talking to anyone. Anyway, after that, she went home. And that was the last time I saw her. Foyle: But you weren't at home last night? Violet: No. I was at a hotel. I was with my boyfriend. Look, I'm not that sort of a girl. We've never done that sort of thing before. But he's more than a boyfriend. He's my fiancé. We're going to get married. Foyle: Well, then, you left together? Violet: Yes. He drove Connie home first and then came back for me. We left at about ten. His name is Andrew Foyle. And he's the most wonderful man I've ever met, and... Foyle. He's got the same name as you. Foyle: Mmm. That's because, erm, I'm his father. Fuel depot. Foyle and Milner leave the building and cross the yard together. Foyle rubs his face. Milner: I understand this puts you in a difficult position, sir. O'Halloran spots the two of them walking by. Foyle: That's a bloody understatement, Milner. Milner: I'm sure Andrew is above suspicion. Foyle: Is he? He's not above mine. They get into their car and the sergeant drives them away. Michael Bennett watches them go, and O'Halloran approaches him. O'Halloran: Mr Bennett, sir. Those men that were just here. Bennett: The police. O'Halloran: What happened? Bennett: You haven't heard? Connie Dewar was kll last night. Someone pushed her down the stairs. O'Halloran: What? Bennett: It's terrible, I know. It beggars belief. I don't know what the Board's going to make of this! RAF base. Milner and Foyle arrive in their car. Wing Commander Turner's office. He shakes hands with Foyle as the two of them enter. Turner: Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle, it's a pleasure to meet you. You must be very proud of your son. I have to say he's a credit to you. Foyle: Thank you. Um, I'm here, I'm afraid, though, in an official capacity. Turner: And that is? Foyle: Um, a young woman has been found dad. Er, she used to deliver fuel here. Connie Dewar? Turner: The name doesn't mean anything to me. Foyle: No? She may well have been involved, er, in some way with two of your pilots. One of them being my son. Turner: I see. And the other? Foyle: Rex Talbot. Turner: And you've come here, what, to interrogate them? Foyle: Well, we'd like to speak to them, er, with your permission. Turner: Well, I'm not sure I like the idea. I'm sorry. How did she die? Milner: She was mrder. She was pushed down a flight of stairs and she broke her neck. Turner: And it couldn't have been an accident? Milner: No. Indications suggest otherwise. Turner: Indications. You see, the morale of my men is my first and my only concern in this matter, Mr Foyle. As I'm sure you're aware, we've sustained enormous losses, and although they may not show it, they're living on a Knfe-edge right now. Your coming in here and throwing a barrage of questions at my two best pilots could be the last thing we need. Foyle: Well, I quite understand that. I can't say I'm particularly eager to discuss this with my son. I'd much rather not be here at all, quite frankly, but the girl is dad, we need to know how and why. I'm here, er, as a courtesy. I could arrange for them to be taken to the station, if you'd prefer? Turner: No. Of course you can see them here. I just wanted to be sure you appreciated the situation. Foyle: I do. Mess tent on the RAF base. Rex enters. Rex: Mr Foyle! Sir, this is a surprise. You're the last person I expected to see. Foyle and Milner stand waiting for him. Foyle: Rex, afraid I've got some rather bad news. Rex: What? Foyle: I understand you know a young woman called, um, Connie Dewar? Rex: Nothing's happened, has it? Is she all right? Foyle: I'm afraid she's dad. Rex slowly sits down. Foyle: I'm sorry. Rex: How? Milner: She fell and broke her neck. It could have been an accident. Rex: Could have been? Milner: She may have been involved in a struggle. Rex: Er, well, have you spoken to Violet? I mean, Violet must have been there. They live together. She must have seen what happened. Foyle: Violet, um, wasn't there. Er, when was the last time you saw Connie? Rex: Er, at the Flamingo. She, she wasn't very pleased with me. We had an argument a few nights ago. Stupid, really. There's a lot of bad feeling about the Irish here, but it shouldn't have happened. Then last night, I, I didn't expect to see her there. She came down from the office. She'd been drinking. She wouldn't come with me, so Andrew took her home. Does he know? Foyle: Er, not spoken to him yet. Rex: Poor Connie. Poor girl. God, what a waste! Milner: How close were you? Had you talked about getting married? Rex: Sometimes, yes. But these aren't the right times. We, we took it one day at a time, really. I loved her. Connie was loyal. Funny. She was wonderful. Foyle: She ever mention her work at the depot? Rex: Not really, no. Day-to-day stuff. She seemed very happy there. Foyle: Sure? Rex: Yes. Ha. My RAF friends are buying it every day. You never know who's going to be next. But Connie...? Airfield. Andrew and Foyle are walking together. Andrew: I can't believe it. I suppose that means you're here officially. Have you told Rex? Foyle: I've just seen him. Andrew: He'll be shattered. He adored her. You don't think he had anything to do with it? Foyle: Well, er... Andrew: Oh, come on, Dad, that's absurd! I mean, Rex and Connie were... You've known him since he was twelve, for heaven's sake! A man like that isn't going to throw his girlfriend down some stairs! Even if he has a reason, which Rex didn't. They stop inside an storage shed. Foyle: Andrew... Andrew: The man's a hero, Dad. Everyone here admires him. I have to tell you it's not going to go down well, interrogating him. Foyle: Well, I have to tell you I don't have any choice. And if it was anybody but the two of you, they'd be down at the station right now. Andrew: Me? Are you telling me I'm a suspect as well? Foyle: It's obviously escaped your attention, but until proved otherwise, you are the last person to have seen her alive. But no, you're not a suspect. Andrew: Well, yeah, I, I drove her home. What of it? Foyle: Then what? Andrew: Nothing! I dropped her off and went back to the club! All right? Foyle brings out the photograph of Andrew. Foyle: Remember this? Andrew: Yeah, this was taken when I got my wings. I gave you a copy. Is this it? Foyle: No, it's not. I found this in her diary. I found her diary, under her pillow. Andrew: What? Foyle: Did you give it to her? Andrew: No. Foyle: How did she get it, then? Andrew: Well, I've no idea. Foyle: Did you give one to anyone else? Andrew: What do you think, Dad? Do you think I paper them around town? I gave one to you because it was something special. How can you even think that? Foyle: You did not give a copy of this photograph to Connie Dewar? Andrew: No, I did not! Foyle: Well, did Violet? Who you were with last night. Andrew: Did she tell you that? Foyle: Yep. Andrew: Did she say anything else? Foyle: Yep. I know the name of the hotel, the number of the room. Andrew huffs and turns away. Foyle: Well, listen, for God's sake, I mean, we've got a dad girl here, last heard making thrat. You make it your business to drive her home. You're one of the last people to see her alive, your photograph's found in her diary- Andrew: Have you been investigating me? You send Sam in to spy on me and on my friends? And what's more, you've been digging up the dirt on Violet and me! Foyle: Well, why couldn't you tell me? How, how do you think I feel, finding out you've been sneaking off to some godforsaken place with some girl and I'm the last person to know about it. Andrew: Well, what, would you rather I'd taken her home? Foyle: Do you love this girl? Andrew: She's not this girl! Her name is Violet. And it's none of your business! You know, Dad, I don't think you know me at all. I don't think you have any idea what goes on in my head. You come here, of all places, and you ask these questions as if anybody really gives a damn. Connie's dad! I had nothing to do with it. Rex had nothing to do with it! So just chuck it! He storms off. Foyle's office. He sits going through Connie's diary. There's a knock on the door. Foyle: Yep. Milner enters the office. Milner: I've just seen the medical report, sir. Foyle: Yeah. Yes, um, she was four months pregnant, wasn't she? Milner: Yes, sir. Foyle: In here, she says she's, er, not been feeling well for a while. Um, and the last entry is about still feeling bad. "Appointment with DH." Milner: DH? Foyle: There's a lot of shorthand. Could be a doctor. Milner: Does she name the father? Foyle: Unfortunately not. Milner: Rex Talbot would be the obvious choice. Foyle: Well, there's a lot about him. Does or doesn't he love me? Um, is he seeing anyone else? There's something about a planned double wedding. Milner: Double wedding? Foyle: Her and Talbot and, er, Violet Davies and, um... my son. Milner: Does she mention the fuel deliveries or any involvement in the petrol racket? Foyle: A couple of oblique references. Um... A sort of record of payments. "£10 from MB. £5 from MB." Milner: MB. Michael Bennett. Foyle: Mmm. She's, she's, she's being paid almost weekly. I mean, this must be a heck of a lot of fuel we're talking about. Milner: Enough to make an arrest? Foyle: Well, it's still not clear if she was klled, why she was klled, and what she was doing with a photograph of, er, my son. Milner: That's not mentioned in the diary? Foyle: No, it's not. Since it seems either of them could be the father, wouldn't it be a good idea to find out if either of them knew she was pregnant? Milner: Yes, sir. Foyle: And while we're at it, we'll get Sam out of the depot. Leave that to me. Milner: Yes, sir. He moves to leave. Foyle: Listen, the, er, bicarbonate of soda. It turns out Connie Dewar might have taken it for, um, morning sickness. Spoken to your wife? Milner: N-no, sir. Foyle: I should. Milner: Yes. Street. Sam's tnk is parked behind Foyle's car. The two of them walk round it together. Sam: So you want me to leave. Foyle: Well, you've done as much as you can, and after what's happened, it's too big a risk now. And: But nobody knows anything about me. Foyle: How do you know? Can't take the chance. She sighs. Sam: All right. I'll hand in my notice. Foyle: Take the rest of the day off. Pick me up usual time tomorrow? Sam: Yes, sir. Whatever you say. She goes to get back into the tnk. Doctor Henderson's office. Henderson: Yes, Connie Dewar was a patient of mine. She came to see me a couple of days ago. Foyle: And you told her that, um, she was expecting a child? Henderson: You'd have thought it'd be self-evident. She was four months gone, but in fact she had no idea. Foyle: Was she pleased? Henderson: She was shocked. That was the overriding emotion. Foyle: I don't suppose she, er, told you the name of the father. Henderson: No, I'm afraid not. She did say she was still seeing him. She said she was going to tell him the news after she left me. Foyle: Right. Thank you. He stands up to go. Henderson: Out of interest, Mr Foyle, how did you find me? Foyle: Well, she kept a diary and, er, made a reference to a DH, and we simply looked for local doctors with those initials. Henderson: I see. Only my Christian name's Graham. Foyle: Yeah, it confused us a bit, but, um, eventually, we decided that the D just must have stood for doctor. Henderson: Oh. And now she's dad. I'm very sorry to hear it. What a terrible waste of a young life. Foyle: Mmm. Two. Henderson: Indeed. Depot office. Sam arrives and knocks on the open door. Michael Bennett looks up as she arrives. Pamela is working in the background. Bennett: Ah! Miss Stewart, I'm glad to see you. Sam: Mr Bennett, I've got some rather bad news. Bennett: We've got a rush on deliveries! This business with Miss Dewar! Sam: Actually, sir... Bennett: Mrs Bennett and I have to meet the girl's parents. We won't be here. Just leave the paperwork on my desk, do you understand? Sam: Yes, sir. Bennett: What was it you were going to say? Bad news? Sam: No, nothing. Er, I'll, I'll tell you tomorrow. Bennett: Right. Sam leaves the office and Bennett turns to his wife. Bennett: Come on! Wing Commander Turner's office. Rex is standing to attention. Turner: How are you bearing up, Rex? Rex: I'm all right. Thank you, sir. Turner: I was so sorry to hear about your girl. Are you ready to fly? Rex: To be honest, sir, I, I can't wait to get back in the air. Turner: Good man. We've been lucky, in a way. As most of the action has been to the east of us in Kent, it's given us a chance to get the new chaps up to scratch. However, all that's about to change. Rex: We're back on ops? Turner: Any day now, yes. Things are about to get very tight. You know how much I depend on you. I wanted to be sure you were ready. Rex: Very much so, sir. Turner: Good. Turner sees the police car pull up outside the window. Turner: The police have come back. You don't have to talk to them if you don't want to, you know? Rex: I don't mind, sir. I think I owe it to her. Turner: All right. Dismissed. Rex salutes and leaves. Mess tent. Rex enters with Milner. Rex: Well? How can I help you? Milner: Were you aware Miss Dewar was pregnant? Rex: Pregnant? Milner: She didn't tell you? Rex: No. Milner: Were you the father? Rex: What? Yes, of course I was the father. Who else could have been? Milner: That's what I'm asking you. Rex: God, how dare you talk about Connie like that! She's only been dad a day and you're treating her like some kind of... I was the father, yes. Milner: Then why didn't she tell you? Rex: Because... I suppose she didn't want to put any pressure on me. Milner: To marry her? Rex: I told you the last time we met, we talked about marriage, but not yet. Not until after the duration. Milner: Could you have married her? Rex: What do you mean? Milner: What would your family have thought? Rex: My father's dad. My mother... I don't know. Milner: But if she was expecting your child... Rex: Oh, what are you saying now? That I klled her because I didn't want to be dragged into a marriage that was beneath me? That's not true. I'm not a snob. I loved her. And anyway, I've already said. She didn't tell me. I didn't know! When was it due? Milner: She'd been pregnant four months. Rex: She didn't tell me. But it was mine, Sergeant Milner. Maybe I didn't want a child. I, I don't know what to think. But it was definitely mine. Outside the Flamingo. Foyle walks in. Gannon's office. Gannon: How's your investigation going, Mr Foyle? This petrol business. Foyle: Connie Dewar. You know her? Gannon: What gives you that idea? Foyle: She used to wax barrels in your brewery. Gannon: Well, I'm not denying it. Yes, Connie worked for me. Foyle: D'you know she's dad? Gannon: I heard. Tragic. Yes, death seems to follow you around, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Quite the opposite. I follow it. Did you know she was pregnant? Did you know you were the father? Gannon: Did she tell you that? Foyle: The doctor told her she was pregnant. She was going to tell the father as soon as she left the surgery. She came straight here to your office. Three hours later, she's dad. Gannon is silent for a moment and sits down. Gannon: I was very fond of Connie. I looked after her. And when her boyfriend got sht down, well, of course, she came to me. He'd been in hospital for about, er, three weeks or so, and I had to comfort her. I suppose one thing led to another. I know it doesn't sound so good, Frank Gannon having his wicked way while the ace boyfriend is giving his all for king and country. It didn't have to be me. Could have been Rex. For all I know it could have been anyone. Foyle: You're married, I believe. Gannon: Yes. And a baby would have been an embarrassment, but speaking off the record, Mr Foyle, she didn't have to have it. I know the law. But I also know people who respect the law less than me. And I could have found someone to... help her. A country field. Violet and Andrew are walking hand in hand. Andrew: So you met my father. Violet: Did he tell you? Andrew: He interrogated me. Violet: Why? He doesn't think you've got anything to do with Connie, does he? Andrew: Apparently, he does. Violet: That's daft! Andrew: Well, I took her home. And... she had a photograph of me under her pillow. Violet: What? Andrew: He found it. Violet: Connie had your picture? Andrew: I don't know how she got it. She lets go of his hand. Violet: Are you saying she... Were you and her...? Andrew: Oh, no. Violet: Then why did she have your picture? Andrew: That's what I'm asking. Violet: Why did you take her home, anyway? I don't understand you sometimes. First of all it was you and that new girl Sam Stewart. Now, you and Connie! I thought we were going to get married! Andrew: Is that what you told my father? Violet: Yes. Andrew: I wish you hadn't. Violet: Why not? It's true, isn't it? Andrew? Andrew: Er, I mean, I... It's not the right time to be talking about it. Violet: Well, it was the right time when you were trying to get me into bed with you. Andrew: Violet? Violet: You're all the same, you airmen. You think you're God's gift! Well, I've got news for you, Mr Foyle, you're not. Andrew: What are you trying to say? Violet: I've had enough of you. Connie always said you can never trust a pilot. And she was right! She walks away. Depot yard. Sam parks the tnk and gets out. There's no one around and she heads through into the office, closing the door. Outside. A man, his face unseen, walks past the tnk. Office. Sam crouches down by the safe and enters the combination. She gets it open and starts going through the paperwork, then hears a door slam somewhere in the corridor. She shoves the papers back in and closes the safe. As footsteps approach, she hides under the desk. The man comes in and places the suitcase with the bmb on the desk. He arms it, starting it ticking, and then leaves, padlocking the office door behind him. Inside the office. Sam crawls back out from under the desk and looks at the ticking suitcase. She opens it and sees the bmb. Sam presses up against the office door, looking through the window. Sam: Hello? Is there anybody there? Could you let me out? Hello? Help! She tugs at the door, but can't open it. Sam: Hello? She runs over to look at the timer on the bmb. It has about ten minutes to go. Sam runs to the window. Sam: Hello? Help! Hello! She runs over to the office phone and begins to dial. Foyle's office. He's on the way out of the door when the phone rings. Foyle: (God.) He goes back and sits down to answer it. Foyle: Yes? Sam (over phone): Sir, it's Sam. Foyle: Sam, what is it? Cut back and forth between the depot and Foyle's office. Sam: I'm at the depot. In the Bennetts' office. Foyle: What are you doing there? Sam: It's a long story. The point is there's, there's a bmb. Foyle: There's a what? Sam: It's in a suitcase. Someone left it here. I couldn't see who it was, I'm afraid. But I've sort of got stuck in this office. Foyle stands up from his desk. Foyle: What do you mean, you're stuck in the office? Sam: I'm locked in and it looks as if it's going to go off pretty soon. Foyle: Soon? How soon? Sam: Ten minutes, I'd say, sir. Foyle: Well, get out of a window. Break a window! Sam: I'll try. Foyle: And if you can't do that, you get behind something solid. Lie flat behind a desk or a table or something. On my way. He hangs up. Depot office. Sam turns a table on its side and gets down on the floor behind it. A police car drive through the streets with bells ringing, Foyle's car following. The timer on the bmb continues to tick down. Seven minutes left, then three. Then it passes the hour mark, and keeps ticking. Sam peers up at it for a moment, then ducks back down. Depot yard. Cars screech to a halt, bells still ringing. As Foyle gets out, a military vehicle arrives behind them. Man (offscreen): I'll take the door. Man (offscreen): Yeah. Foyle leads the way inside. Policeman: This way now. Up the stairs. Office. The timer has now reached several minutes past the hour mark. Sam is still behind the desk. Corridor outside. Someone breaks through the padlock with a fre axe. Foyle is the first in through the door, followed by two men from the bmb squad. Foyle: Sam? She crawls out from behind the table. Sam: Sir! It's over there! Foyle: Oh, hell. He and Sam leave while the bmb disposal officers run over to the bmb. Officer: Okay, steady now. The bmb is still ticking. Then it stops. Depot yard. Sam is standing in front of the bmb disposal vehicle. Foyle: I mean, what on Earth did you think you were doing? Really? Sam: I just wanted to get these. She pulls the paperwork from the safe out of her overalls. Foyle: These? What are they? Sam: Requisition orders. They were in the safe. Foyle: You were just totally irresponsible. I mean, you could have got yourself klled. Sam: Well, whoever it was didn't know I was in there, sir. Foyle: And you didn't see anything at all? Sam: I'm afraid not. One of the bmb disposal officers arrives with the suitcase. Officer: It's all right, sir. It's safe. You were very lucky, miss. Not very cleverly put together. He opens the case to show them. Officer: It should have gone off ten minutes ago. Foyle: Right. Thank you. Officer: I don't know what the aim was, sir, but there's enough explsive there to blow this whole place to kingdom come. Foyle: O'Halloran? Sam: Do you think so, sir? I can't be sure. Could the IRA have anything to do with it? Foyle: Well... Sam: But how are you gonna prove it? Foyle: Mmm. Anyway, are you all right? Sam: I think so, sir. Look, I'm really sorry. Foyle: Well, not as sorry as I'd have been if you'd been klled. I mean, the sergeant's a terrible driver. They head back to the car. The bmb disposal officer hands the case to a policeman. Officer: Right you are, sir. O'Halloran's house. He's packing a suitcase when a policeman bursts in, followed by Foyle and Milner. O'Halloran: What the... Foyle: Are you off back to Ireland, Mr O'Halloran? O'Halloran: Who are you? Foyle: I thought I ought to return this. He holds up the case with the bmb. O'Halloran: Jesus! Foyle: Right, so you know what it is. Milner: You're under arrest for attempted mrder. I have to caution you that you're not obliged to say anything, but anything you do say will be taken down and used in evidence against you. O'Halloran: mrder? I didn't try to mrder anyone! Gannon's office. He's sitting down with Carter when the door opens. A pair of policemen enter, followed by Foyle and Milner. Gannon: What is this? Foyle: Well, this is, er, an arrest, Mr Gannon. Gannon: I don't think I've done anything wrong, Mr Foyle. Milner: The bmb. It didn't go off, and O'Halloran talked. Foyle: Is your name Carter? Carter: Yeah. Foyle: Right. Milner: You're under arrest too. Carter: On what charge? Foyle: Er, purloining of petrol, conspiracy to commit sabotage. And for your outstanding contribution to the wr effort, it gives me great pleasure to know that you're going to spend a very long time doing hard labour. One of the policemen hauls Carter away. The other stands by Gannon. After a moment, Gannon stands up. Foyle (voiceover): And the, er, three of them have now been arrested. Fuel depot office. Foyle and Milner are there talking to Michael Bennett while Leonard Evans goes over the paperwork. Foyle: It's difficult to know how much, er, fuel has been involved, but we have to be talking about thousands of gallons. Evan: It's unbelievable. Bennett: I knew nothing about it, Mr Evans. I swear to you on my soul! Behind him Pamela is watching all this. Bennett: I, I'm not a racketeer! I never even met this man, Gannon. Evan: I've said this already, but I've never had any reason to doubt this man's honesty. Bennett: May well be the case, but, um, Connie Dewar was certainly involved. Milner: Yes, we have her diary, and it records several payments to her by an MB. Evan: Michael Bennett. Milner: We now know how the thefts were achieved. Sam gave us a very good idea of the working practice here. Pamela: Sam who? Milner: Sam Stewart. Pamela: Samantha Stewart was working for you? Foyle: Yes. Sorry to have, er, kept it from you. Milner: From what she told us, the system seemed pretty cut and dried. Requisition orders were made. Copies were kept at both ends. Everything seemed above board. Evans: Well, I designed the system myself. Milner: Yes, I understand. But all the requisitions were brought here by dispatch riders. Flashback to a dispatch rider arriving and handing the requisition slip to Pamela. Milner (voiceover): But it was interesting that it was Mrs Bennett who nearly always met them. But suppose she exchanged the real requisition order for a fake one. Pamela tucks the order slip into her inside pocket, and pulls another out of a different pocket. Milner (voiceover): Nobody would know. Flashback to Pamela bringing the slip to Michael Bennett. Milner (voiceover): A customer demands 300 gallons. Mrs Bennett changes the order to 500. Flashback to Connie climbing down from the tnk and being met by Bennett. Milner (voiceover): And that's what Connie Dewar takes from the depot. Flashback to Sam and Connie emptying fuel from the tnk. Milner (voiceover): She then delivers the 300 gallons to the customer. Flashback to Connie driving through the woods. Milner (voiceover): Leaving 200 to be handed over to Frank Gannon. All the figures seem to add up. And it will be months if not years before anyone realises anything is wrong. Depot office. Bennett turns to look at his wife. Bennett: Pamela? Pamela: I don't know what you're talking about. I make no decisions here. My husband's in charge. Bennett: Yeah, she's absolutely right. I mean, I can't believe what you're saying! My wife couldn't possibly- Foyle: Do you know, er, who recruited Connie Dewar? Bennett: Um... Foyle: Were you aware that she'd worked for Frank Gannon before she came here? Bennett: No! Foyle: He had met your wife and recruited her, and your wife recruited Connie Dewar. Evan: But in the diary, you said the initials of the man who was paying Miss Dewar were MB. Milner: Yes. Connie used, er, an irregular shorthand. DH, for example, was Dr Henderson. So it's quite possible that MB could have stood for Mrs Bennett. Bennett: No, no, no, no, no, you're wrong! You're quite wrong. Not Pamela. She couldn't. Pamela: Of course I could! Bennett: What? Pamela: Have you no idea what you put me through? Watching you strut around this depot like... htler. So full of yourself! You treat me like dirt. I work for you. You don't even give me any money of my own! I have to watch you with the other girls. The way you run your eyes over them. Even when I'm there. For heaven's sake! You humiliate me every day. Foyle: And Gannon? Pamela: He offered me a way out. Money. Independence. A chance to live my own life after the wr. And nobody would know it was me. That was the beauty of it. I'd get all the money. He'd get all the blame. Connie understood. We were laughing at you. That was the best part! It made us feel good. Depot yard. Pamela is lead out to a car by a policeman. Policeman: Here you are, sarge. She's all yours. Evans, Foyle and Milner come out of the building behind her. Evans: There's one thing I don't understand. The bmb. Foyle: It was intended to destroy any records, any evidence in the main office here of how much fuel had really been taken and any links it might have had with Gannon. Evans: And O'Halloran? Milner: He was a hired hand. And a clever choice. We might have believed there was a political motive for the explsin. The IRA, for example. But in fact the bmb was there just to cover up a petty crime. Evans: What about the girl, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Yeah? Evans: Do you know who klled her? Foyle: Maybe. He and Milner get into the car. RAF base. Sam waits by the car. Rex (voiceover): Hello, sir. Foyle: Hello, Rex. Rex: I rather thought I'd be seeing you again. Foyle: Hmm. So you'd know why. Rex: I knew you'd work it out. Andrew's spoken so much about the way you work. How did you know? Foyle: Well, you gave yourself away rather early, you know. Rex: Did I? Foyle: Remember the first time we came here to let you know that Connie had been found dad? And you said, er, "Have you spoken to Violet? Violet must have been there. They lived together. She must have seen what happened." So you knew it happened at the flat. Just as you knew that, er, in fact, Violet hadn't been there because, er, you were. Rex: It was because of the baby. I knew she was pregnant. I knew she was going to have a child. She would have forced me to marry her. It was out of the question. My mother wouldn't hear of it. Foyle: Well, the baby wasn't yours. Rex: What? Foyle: Well, you know perfectly well the baby wasn't yours. It was conceived when you were in hospital after you'd been sht down. Rex: What, what are you saying? Foyle: I'm saying that you tried to use the baby to hide the truth, just as you used Connie to hide the truth. Rex: Please, sir. Foyle: See, I couldn't find a reason why, um, Connie would have had a photograph of Andrew. But you see, then I'd assumed it was her photograph when in fact, it was yours, wasn't it? Rex: Yes. Flashback to the fight at the Flamingo. Rex stands up to join the others. Connie: Rex, please! Rex: Sorry. Look after this for me, will you? He tosses her his jacket and his wallet falls out. Rex (voiceover): I'd asked her to hold my jacket. Connie sees the edge of the photo of Andrew sticking out and draws it out. Rex (voiceover): My wallet must have fallen out of my pocket. Foyle: (voiceover): It's all in the diary. Mess tent. Foyle: She was confused about your feelings for her. The lack of anything physical. And the photograph explained everything. Um, you're not interested in women, are you, Rex? Rex: No, sir. The truth is I- the truth is, I had feelings- Foyle: Andrew. Rex: Yes. I disgust you. Foyle: Not at all. Rex: I wish I could believe that. Foyle: It's true. Rex: I couldn't let the other chaps know the truth about me. You don't understand the spirit of this place. Friendships. It was more than that. They wouldn't have let me fly any more. They'd have kicked me out. I couldn't let that happen. Foyle: I think you do them an injustice. Rex: I couldn't risk it. Connie guessed the truth. She thrat to expose me. Flashback to Connie in the Flamingo. Connie: I know something! D'you know what I know? I've got a little secret! And maybe it's about time I started sharing it around! Flashback to Rex and Connie on the landing at the block of flats. Rex: Connie, listen to me. You mustn't tell anyone! Connie: Why not? You used me! You never loved me! You only pretended! You said you were going to marry me! You wouldn't marry me! You, you didn't even want to touch me! He takes hold of her arms. Rex: Oh, Connie! I am... I'm fond of you. I- Connie: You just used me so that nobody would know what you really are! Rex: I had to! If you tell them, they won't let me fly. Connie: I don't care! I hate you! I wish I'd never met you! You make me sick! She struggles to pull away from him. Rex: Please! She manages to yank away from him and crashes into the wall, tumbling down the staircase. Rex: Connie! He looks down at her where she lies below. Rex (voiceover): I didn't push her. She fell. Mess tent. Foyle: Why were there bruises on her wrists? Rex: Oh, does it really matter, sir? Does any of it really matter? And it was an accident. Does it have to go any further? A bell begins to ring. Rex: That's the call to scramble. You're right, of course, Mr Foyle. I, I have to answer for Connie. Manslaughter, mrder, whatever you want to call it. But surely it can wait until I get back. Foyle: I can't let you leave. Rex: I have to, sir! You don't understand. I'm flying number one in first section. It'll jeopardise the op if I suddenly duck out. I'm not going to run away. I've nowhere to go. For the others, sir, I beg you. Let me fly this one last time. Foyle looks down for a moment, then gives him a nod. Rex: Thank you. He moves to leave, then stops. Rex: There was one other thing. I would so much prefer it if Andrew didn't know. We can just say it was because of the baby. I think I can bear any shame. But not that. Foyle nods again. Outside. A line of Spitfires ready to take off. Equipment shed. The pilots are getting into their flying gear. Rex arrives to join them. Andrew: Ah, there you are, Talbot. I thought you were going to sit this one out. Rex: As if anyone would let you go out without me there to hold your hand. Douglas: Your tenth kll, Rex. Rex: Yes. Well, if Foyle doesn't snatch it away. Andrew: I'm not coming near you. Wing Commander Turner enters. Turner: Come on, chaps. Get a move on. Man (offscreen): Yes, sir! Passed the go, sir. Come on, chaps, get out there! Come on. Andrew and Rex are the last two left. Rex claps him on the arm. Rex: Good luck, Andrew. Proud to fly with you. Always have been. He leaves and Andrew moves to follow. Outside. Sam stands watching as the Spitfires take off. Foyle emerges from Turner's office behind her. Sam: Home, sir? Foyle: Home, Sam. He stands for a moment to watch the Spitfires fly away. Foyle house, night. Foyle paces with a drink, the wireless playing a comedy show in the background. He hears the noise of the front door and moves to turn it off. The door to the front room opens and Andrew comes in. Andrew: Dad. Foyle: Andrew. Andrew: I'm sorry we argued. Foyle: So am I. My fault. Andrew: Rex is dad. Dog-fight, over the Channel. There were about twenty of them, 109s. We intercepted them at 12,000 feet. They came at us like a swarm. I was in Rex's flight, as always. And he... I've never seen flying like that. He must have bagged at least half a dozen of them. More. Then suddenly, there were two of them on his tail. I thought he'd come out. I kept on waiting to see him come out on his chute. And there I was to protect him. The plane was spinning. It was on fre. I suppose he must have been knocked out. I watched it go all the way down. Foyle: I'm sorry. Andrew: I, I don't know how I'll be able to carry on, Dad. He was my best friend. Foyle: He was a good man. So... Carry on for him. Andrew nods. Andrew: A good man. He steps forward to hug his father. Foyle pats him on the back. Foyle: He was one of the best.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "02x02 - Among The Few"}	foreverdreaming
Empire & European Foods office building. CAPTION: OCTOBER 1940 A Rolls-Royce arrives and the doorman opens the door of the car for Sir Reginald Walker to get out. Doorman: Morning, sir. Reginald: Good morning. Reginald walks through the lobby and takes the lift right up to the top, the 18th floor. As the lift door opens, Philby is waiting for him. Philby: Good morning, Sir Reginald. I was wondering- Reginald: Not now, Philby. Office. Secretary Agnes Browne is organising paper when Reginald walks in through the door behind her. Reginald: Are they all here, Miss Browne? Agnes: Yes, Sir Reginald. She takes his hat and coat for him. Reginald: Simon? Agnes: He came back from the airport just a little while ago, sir. Reginald: Good. I'll need to see him immediately. Agnes: He's in his office. Reginald: Right. Miss Browne, I'd like you to take the minutes of this morning's board meeting. Agnes: What about Miss Patterson? Reginald: No. Just you. Agnes: Yes, Sir Reginald. He leaves and she takes her glasses off. Boardroom. Reginald: The minutes of this meeting must be kept to a minimum. An aide memoire to be deposited with our solicitors. The board members, including Simon Walker and Philby, sit around a conference table. Agnes is behind them taking the minutes. Reginald: I'd be happier to see nothing in writing. There may come a time after the wr when we need to demonstrate that there was a consensus on our European operations, which I am sure is the case. I had to think carefully about which board members should be here. Some I felt were not in tune with our thinking. Simon gives Philby a look. Reginald: I don't need to remind you that what is said here must go no further. The usual caveats about walls and ears. Now I'll hand you over to my son, Simon. Simon returned from Switzerland this morning, not an easy journey these days. Simon. Simon: I've brought home a letter, and unlike the one Mr Chamberlain brought from Munich this one is worth the paper it's written on. He holds up a document written in German. Simon: Put simply, the agreement I've reached will make Empire & European Foods the largest processor of non-mineral fats and oils in Europe both during the wr and after it. It doesn't even matter who wins. We can't lose. The board members all clap, Philby rather weakly. Behind them, Agnes closes her notebook. Office. Agnes hurries in closing the pebbled glass doors behind her. She takes her glasses off and picks up the phone. Agnes: Could I have Hastings 1456, please? She gasps and looks round nervously, then turns a fan on beside her. Agnes: This is Agnes. I can't talk, but he came back from Switzerland this morning and it's just like you said. He's brought back a letter. It's visible through the pebbled glass behind her that someone has stopped outside the room. Agnes: And I think I can get it, but we'll have to be quick. Tonight? At eight o'clock. The usual place. The door silently opens behind her. Agnes turns round fearfully as someone approaches her. Outside. Agnes screams as she falls from the eighteenth floor. People rush over to crowd around her body. OPENING CREDITS Courtroom. Foyle sits listening as barrister Stephen Beck questions Milner. Beck: Sergeant Milner, you made the arrest? Milner: I did, yes. Beck: Can you describe how you found the dad man? Milner: He was lying on the floor in the locker room of the pottery where they both worked. There was a belt around his neck, and he'd been strangled. Beck: And can you tell me very briefly on what grounds you arrested my client? Milner: He'd argued violently with the dad man. He'd also thrat him. Beck: Rather tenuous evidence, I would have said. Can I have the belt, please? The court official, Arthur Browne, brings a belt over to him. Beck: This is the belt that was used? Milner: Yes. Beck: And you of course checked it for fingerprints, but you found no fingerprints belonging to my client. I put it to you, Sergeant Milner, this is not a mrder at all. A man climbs onto a chair and hangs himself from a belt. Any belt that he finds in the locker room. He falls, and the chair beneath him topples. Milner: He had grazes on his knuckles. Beck: The body was in the room for three days before it was found. It attracted rats, I believe. Milner: Yes. Beck: Could not the rats have been responsible for the grazes, Sergeant Milner? Could they not in fact have been bites? Milner: No. That would have looked quite different. Beck: Are you a qualified medical officer, Sergeant Milner? Milner: No. Beck: No further questions. Milner (voiceover): He made a fool out of me. Foyle and Milner are heading down the stairs. Foyle: No, I think you held your own, and it's not over yet. Browne passes them on the stairs. Browne: Good afternoon, sir. Foyle: Good afternoon. Milner: I know he's guilty. Foyle: I'm sure the jury will agree. Milner: I'd like to get my hands on that barrister, though. Foyle: Well, here's your chance. Beck approaches them as they reach the bottom of the stairs. Beck: Ah, Christopher. Foyle: Stephen. Not lost your touch, then. Beck: I'll take that as a compliment. Foyle: And, er, you two have already met of course. Beck: I hope you'll forgive me. Milner: Let's wait for the verdict, shall we, sir? Beck: Ah. Yes. Fishing this weekend, Christopher? Foyle: Well, there's precious little in the shops. Beck: Well, maybe we can get some for ourselves. Foyle: Certainly. Bye. Beck leaves. Milner: I didn't realise that, er- Foyle: No, I'm sorry I didn't mention it. Wouldn't have helped if I had. Police station. A group of children, led by Brian, are speaking with Sergeant Rivers at the front desk. Rivers: Here he comes now. You can ask him yourself. Foyle, Sam and Milner walk in through the door behind. Brian: Afternoon, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Oh, hello, Brian. Brian: It's paper day. Foyle: Yes, sorry. I've gone and forgotten again, haven't I? The children have a pram full of salvaged scrap with them. Brian: One envelope makes 50 cartridge bottoms, Mr Foyle. Foyle: I do know that, Brian. One of the boys, Tim, seizes on a fre bucket hanging on a hook nearby. Tim: Do you need this? Sam: Ah. Hands off, Tim. Brian: But it's aluminium. We always take aluminium for Spitfires. River: You take that and what do we do if the police station catches fre? Tim: We need more salvage because of the prize. There's chocolate. Brian: And because of winning the wr. Sam: Why don't you come back tomorrow? We could have gathered up more paper for you by then. Brian picks up a notebook to write it down. Brian: After breakfast? Ten o'clock okay? Sam: It's a date. Brian: Good. The group of children head out of the station. Foyle: Bye, then. Milner: Bye. Brian: Bye-bye, Mr Foyle. Foyle, Milner and Sam start walking through into the back. Foyle: I think that's the second salvage collection I've missed. They've got me down as a fifth columnist. Rivers comes round from behind the desk to give Foyle a letter. Rivers: Letter came for you, sir. Hand-delivered by a Home Guard from Brigadier Harcourt, Home Guard Liaison Committee. Foyle: Yeah. I've been roped into some sort of exercise. Sam: wr games? Foyle: The regular army's involved. There's a couple of hundred men taking shts at each other in the woods round Hastings. Sam: Are they asking you to join up? Foyle: No, I'm the referee. Which means I'm not in court tomorrow, Milner. Milner: That's all right, sir. Foyle: I'm sure you'll manage. Beehives outside a small farming cottage. Wearing a veil and gloves, Lucy Markham lifts one of the wooden frames out to inspect the honeycomb. Her brother Harry comes out of the cottage behind. Harry: Lucy. Lucy, Yeah. I'm just coming. Inside. Harry sits at the table with a letter. Lucy comes in, lifting off her veil. Lucy: Least there's honey for breakfast. Harry: Another letter from the bank. Lucy: Just put it with the others. Harry: We can't keep ignoring them. Lucy: Well, there's not much else we can do. Look, they won't bother with us. We're just too small for them to worry about. Harry opens another letter. Harry: CWAEC. Lucy: What's that? Harry: wr Agricultural Committee. A ploughing up order for the top field. Lucy: Well, they did warn us it would come. Harry: What was Dad thinking of? Bloody fool! Lucy: Come on. It's not as bad as that. Harry: There've got to be easier ways to earn a living. Lucy: You are not going back to that. Harry: No, Lucy, that's not what I meant. Lucy: I know you, Harry. I know what you're thinking. Harry: I'm not gonna leave. Lucy: If anything klled Dad it was that, you going to prison. Harry: What klled Dad was pneumonia. And he got pneumonia because he was out cutting kale at six o'clock in the morning in the coldest winter we ever had. And if we hang around much longer we'll probably join him. Lucy: We can make a go of it. Home Guard headquarters. Members of Home Guard are preparing equipment while Brigadier Harcourt addresses a group of people round a table, including Foyle. Philby is also there, in a Home Guard uniform, taking notes. Harcourt: Now, the object of the exercise is for the Home Guard to hold up the advance of the enemy for as long as possible. The assumption is they would have landed at several points on the coast. These points will not be known until the exercise has gn. I shall refer to the enemy as Red. Blue is the Home Guard. And on the day we will wear flashes of the appropriate colour. You'll be White, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Right. Harcourt: Neutral. The enemy will consist of regular troops, so we'll have quite a fight on our hands. Their CO should be here at any moment. Philby: When we get the information about the enemy beachheads, are we meant to attck them, sir? Harcourt: No, Philby. No. Our job is to obstruct. Philby will be acting as my second in command. He's also our main liaison with Sir Reginald Walker. Philby: Part of the exercise will be taking place on Sir Reginald's estate. Foyle: Right. Harcourt: Luckily Philby here knows the man. Philby: I'm a director with Empire & European Foods. Foyle: Right. Er, as I understand it the game starts with only a limited number of enemy soldiers at these so-called beachheads. Harcourt: It's no game. Foyle: Well, I'll still need a clear understanding of the rules. If troop movements are to allow for roads and bridges falling into enemy hands, um, this presumably is going to involve the military police? Philby: We've spoken to them, yes. Foyle: Are you using, er, live ammniton? Harcourt: In a few designated areas, otherwise it'll be blanks. Foyle: Well, again, er, the military police will have to patrol the boundaries. I mean, we need absolute clarity on that for everybody's sake. Harcourt: The maps are drawn, Mr Foyle. I can foresee no problems at all. What I don't want are any unnecessary hold-ups in the movement of Home Guard forces. We can't have civilian traffic clogging us up. Foyle: Well, if we're trying to create invasion conditions, there's little point in keeping the roads absolutely clear. A real invasion'd see all the roads north of Hastings clogged with refugees, and in reality you'd have to deal with that somehow. Harcourt: You're here as a referee, Mr Foyle. I think you can leave the military planning to me. Foyle: Oh, right. Army officer Captain Devlin enters. Harcourt: Ah. Here's the regular army. Not before time, if I may say so. Mr Foyle, this is Captain Devlin. Foyle: Devlin, how are you? Devlin: Good to see you again, sir. Foyle: Yes, and you. They shake hands. Harcourt: You two know each other? Foyle: We've met. Later. Devlin and Foyle leave the HQ together. Foyle: So you're stationed near here, are you? Devlin: Actually, I've been stuck at a desk job since I was shipped back from France. Caught a bit of shrapnel. Nothing to worry about, but, er, took a while to heal. Should be, er, rejoining the chaps any day now. Foyle: Good. Devlin: Didn't expect to find you caught up in all this, though. Foyle: Well, nor me. Devlin: They give you a new sergeant? Foyle: Yeah, he's a good man. You'll probably meet him. Devlin: How's Andrew? Foyle: He's very well, thank you. He's, er, with a squadron on the south coast. Devlin: Oh, good for him. They, er, didn't let you transfer, then? I heard a rumour you were going to work with General Ismay. Foyle: No, it didn't work out. Devlin: You're damn good at your job. Foyle: Well, if that's the case, what am I still doing here, I wonder? Devlin: Well, I'd better get this lot sorted out. Prepare for battle. Foyle: Right. Markham farm. Lucy is wheeling her bike down to the gate. Stephen Beck sits in a car in the lane outside. Once she's gone, he approaches an outbuilding where Harry is forking hay. Beck: Markham? Harry: Mr Beck. Beck: I wondered if I might have a word. Harry: Come inside. Inside. Harry takes a drag on a cigarette and shakes his head. Harry: I can't believe you're asking me to do this. You of all people! You know I've been out of trouble for two months. Beck: You've been out of prison for two months. I had something to do with that. Harry: I know. I know what I owe you. Beck: I wouldn't have come to you if it hadn't been important, Harry. Harry: Important? Beck: Much more than that. Harry: I don't know. It just seems mad. I can't believe you're talking to me this way. Beck: It's a mad world. We all have to adjust. Harry: Why can't you go to the police? Beck sighs. Harry: Sir Reginald Walker. You know he's my landlord? Beck: Oh, I, I didn't know. Harry: Rented this land to my dad. It was my dad who had the bright idea to switch from arable to dairy. Now you get 45 shillings a quarter guaranteed for wheat, but milk... He died while I was in prison. Beck: I'm sorry. Harry: Lucy thinks it was my fault. She thinks he died of shame, but that's not true. Working here that klled him! Beck: Will you do it? Harry: There's a safe? Beck: A big one. American. Harry: They'll know it was me. Beck: The crime won't even be reported, my friend. Harry: Why not? Beck: Trust me. Harry: Can I think about it? Beck: I have very little time. I'm leaving England quite soon now. Harry: Leaving to go where? Beck: It doesn't matter. Here is my telephone number. You can call me. He gives Beck a slip of paper. Harry: Sir Reginald Walker is extremely wealthy. He owns this farm and many others. You're paying him to work here, which makes him even wealthier. That is also... mad. Call me. He leaves. Outside. As Beck's car is driving away, Lucy returns with her bike. Inside. Harry is tucking the slip of paper away in a book as Lucy comes in. Lucy: Forgot my ration book. Who was that? Harry: No one. Lucy: Harry, who was that? Harry: They were lost. They were asking the way. Greenwood Hall, home of the Walker family. Alice Walker is coming down the stairs, and sees Simon just closing and locking the cellar door. Alice: Simon? Simon: Alice. Alice: What are you doing? Simon: Just checking on the wine. Alice: So why do you lock the cellar? Simon: Well, we've got some stuff down there worth £20 a bottle. You can never be too careful. Shall we? He offers her his arm. Lounge. Reginald walker is just pouring a drink as they come in. Reginald: Ah. There you are, my dear. Drink? Alice: Mmm, thank you. Mmm, lovely. Now, Reginald, I want to talk to you about the dining room. Reginald: Oh, yes? Alice: I was thinking of having it redecorated. I feel the wallpaper is rather musty and old-fashioned. We could do with new curtains, too. Simon: That's a shame. Mother loved the dining room. Reginald: Simon! This is your house now, Alice, and you must have it how you like. I'll get someone in. Alice: No, don't worry. I'll see to it myself. I know how busy you are. Reginald: Better wait a few days until these exercises are out of the way. Alice: Mmm. The Home Guard. Simon: Pretty ghastly if you ask me, having the whole world and his wife tramping over the estate. Reginald: It's only 24 hours. Anyway, Alice, better not leave the house, and tell the groundsmen to stay out of the lower woods. They may be using live ammniton. Alice: Whatever you say, dear. Reginald: We don't want anyone getting sht. Night. Harry Markham climbs over the wall around the estate. A pair of guard dogs run towards him, barking. He reaches into his bag and pulls out some meat which he throws to the dogs. Master bedroom. Reginald and Alice lie sleeping. Faint barks can be heard in the distance. Outside. Harry watches as the dogs flop down onto the grass and go to sleep. He creeps towards the house and carefully removes a small pane of glass from a window. Reaching in, he opens it with a creak. Bedroom. Alice snaps awake at the sound. Downstairs study. Harry shines a torch around and spots the safe under a desk. He puts his ear to it as he starts turning the tumblers. Finally, he opens it with a clunk. Bedroom. Alice sits up, clapping a hand over her mouth. Alice: (Reggie! Reggie!) She shakes Reginald. Reginald: Oh, Lord. What is it? Alice: I think there's someone downstairs. He sits up too. Downstairs. Harry goes through the contents of the safe, shining his torch on the papers. He finds the letter of agreement in German. He also finds a decorated gold box. Then there's the sound of a door opening. Harry stuffs the box into his bag and runs. Staircase. Reginald is on his way down, followed by Simon. Reginald: (God. There's a burglar.) Simon: Right. He dashes ahead and opens a cupboard door to grab a gn. Outside. Harry runs across the grass. Simon steps out of the door behind him holding the gn. Simon: Stop! Thief! Harry glances back and sees the gn. Harry: Oh! Simon sht and Harry cries out in pain, clutching his arm. Simon sht again. Harry makes it over the wall, dropping down outside. A motorbike is coming along the nearby road. Estate grounds. Reginald: Did you get him? Simon: Tickled him. Road. The motorbike honks its horn as Harry runs across the road. Daylight. Sam, Foyle and Milner are driving along a country lane. Milner: Sir Reginald Walker. Isn't he the chairman of Empire & European Foods? Foyle: Yeah, that's right. This Home Guard exercise is, er, taking place on his land here. Milner: The break-in was reported by a warden on his way home. He heard a sht, and saw someone climb over the wall. But Sir Reginald never actually reported the crime himself. We contacted him. Foyle: That's unusual. The car pulls up outside Greenwood Hall. Reginald (voiceover): I didn't like to trouble you. The Walkers are gathered in the study with Milner and Foyle. Reginald: These are difficult times and it seems to me that the police have enough on their plate already. Simon: It's not as if anything was taken. Milner: Are you quite sure of that, sir? Simon: Well, we've looked around and there doesn't seem to be anything missing. Foyle: But he did get into the safe, is that right? Simon: Yes. The door was open, but I suppose I managed to chase him off before he could rfle the contents. Reginald: Not that he'd have found anything anyway. I only keep business papers in there. Alice: Yes. I keep my jewellery upstairs. Foyle: Is the safe, um- He points towards it. Reginald: Yes. It's American. Way ahead of its time. Manipulation-proof. Lever tumbler lock. Over ten million combinations. Simon: I'd say you're looking for a real professional, Mr Foyle. Foyle: I'd say you were right, Mr Walker. Simon: Any names spring to mind? Er, any known felons, that sort of thing? Foyle: Is this the window he came through? Reginald: Yes. Drugged both the dogs first. Foyle: And you took a sht at him as he left, is that right? Reginald: My son fired into the air, Mr Foyle. Simon: A warning sht. Didn't want to ht anyone. Reginald: Look, in retrospect I can see that we should have reported this, but since no one was hurt and nothing was taken, I don't think we should waste any more time. Foyle: Right. Outside. Sam is waiting by the car as Foyle and Milner emerge. Foyle: Never met anybody quite so cheerful about being burgled. Milner: No. And his son said he fired a warning sht. You don't try and warn someone by fring at them. Not if they're already running away. They get in the car. Foyle: A man called Harry Markham. He's the only one round here capable of getting into a safe like that. Milner: And not taking anything? Foyle: Yeah. Came out of prison two months ago. Devlin arrested him. It was the last case he handled before he joined up. Milner: Markham? Foyle: Yeah, before your time. You wouldn't know him. You should go and introduce yourself. Inside. Reginald and Simon are watching them leave from the windows. Reginald: I want it back. Simon: Of course you want it back, Pa. It's worth a bloody fortune. Reginald: It's worth more than that, Simon, and do you know, sometimes I worry about your ability to see the wider canvas. Simon: Whoever has it will try to sell it. Reginald: We have to find it before that. We have to think like this man Foyle. He said it was a professional job, so he'll be looking for a professional. We must have friends at the police. What about Cade? He's at Scotland Yard. Simon: I'll get onto it. Alice comes into the room as Simon is leaving. Reginald: I'm sorry about this, my dear. An unpleasant business. Alice: I still don't understand. Why didn't you call the police? Reginald: I didn't need to, did I? They came anyway. Alice: Was something taken? Reginald: Of course not! You don't think I'd lie, do you? Don't you worry about it. Just a little unpleasantness. Now, let's have some lunch. Markham cottage. Lucy: I don't understand you, Harry. You said that was all behind you. Harry: It is. Lucy: Then where were you last night? What were you doing? Harry: It's not what you think. Lucy: I know what I think! Harry: Lucy, please! Ah! He winces. Lucy: Are you hurt? Harry: I'm fine. Lucy: Let me see. Harry: Don't fuss. Lucy: Let me see. She comes round and pulls at his collar. Harry: Please just- ah! Lucy: Oh, Harry! What is this? Harry: Lucky I was 30 yards away. Lucy: Sit down. Harry: What, you- Lucy: Well, I can hardly call for a doctor, can I? He starts to unbutton his shirt. Harry: Look, it was a favour for a friend. That's all. A favour that went wrong. Lucy: You broke into a house. Harry: I wasn't going to steal anything! I didn't mean to, but... Lucy, supposing I found something that could get us out of here? Give us enough money. Look for a new life. Lucy: We have a life here. Harry: We don't! Lucy: You sit down. He sits, and she sees the damage from the gn blast. Lucy: Oh, Harry, look at you! (God!) What is it, this thing you've got? Harry: I can't tell you. Lucy: Oh, where is it? Harry: I've got some looking after it. What friends? Lucy: Busy ones. And I can trust 'em, too. Harry: You just talk a load of nonsense, Harry. But you listen to me. You go back to thieving, I'll throw you out of here. Do you hear me? Harry: I'm sorry, Lucy. Lucy: Sorry as you're gonna be. She starts to dig the gn pellets out of his back. Harry: Ah! Lucy: Shh. He groans in pain. River. Foyle and Beck are fishing. Beck: I hope your Mr Milner has forgiven me. Foyle: Well, I wouldn't underestimate him if I were you. Beck: I haven't, and I didn't. Foyle: Saw Jack Devlin the other day. Beck: Sergeant Devlin? Foyle: Well, he's a captain now. Um, Seventh Armoured Division. Beck: Yes. I remember him well. An interesting young man. Foyle: No, they're not feeding, are they? Beck: Ah, sometimes I prefer it that way. If the fish bite you only have to do something about it. Foyle: What are you using? Beck: Medium olive nymph. Foyle: Been reading Skues? He chuckles. Beck: The Way of the Trout with the Fly. My wife bought me that on our first wedding anniversary. Foyle: You were still in Germany then, weren't you? Beck: Yes. We had to send to London for it. We didn't leave till '35. We saw what was coming. I love this sport, but sometimes I think it is the greatest waste of time anyone ever invented. Foyle: You know, you're right. Pint? Beck: A pint, the fishing. The evening light. There are things about this country I'd always miss if I had to leave. He turns to go. Foyle looks thoughtful. Court building. Beck is coming down the stairs in his court robes and meets Harry Markham. Harry: Mr Beck. Beck: Not here, Markham. Back stairs. Half an hour. He walks on. Back stairs. Harry smokes, waiting. Beck arrives, now back in a suit. Beck: You got it? Harry: No. I'm sorry, Mr Beck. It didn't work out. Beck: What happened? Harry: I managed to get in some of the way, but they must have been light sleepers. I heard them coming down the stairs, and I had to get out fast. Beck: You got nothing? Harry: Didn't have time to open the safe. I am sorry, Mr Beck. I didn't mean to let you down. Beck: You're lying to me. Harry: No! Beck: I've been a barrister for 30 years. You think I don't know a liar when I hear one? Harry: I had to get out of there. They sht at me! Beck: But you had something. Harry: I had nothing. Beck: Let me tell you something, my friend. You don't know me. You don't know anything about me. The people I work with. What I am capable of. Harry: Honestly, Mr Beck, I would never do anything to- Beck grabs hold of him. Beck: You were in the study. Harry: Yes. Beck: You opened the safe. Harry: No. Beck: What did you take? Harry: Nothing. Beck: I'll give you a little time, Markham. We'll meet again. And if I were you, I would think very carefully. He heads off down the stairs. Foyle's office. There's a knock on the door and Sam opens it. Sam: Sir. Foyle: Yeah. Sam: There's been another break-in, I'm afraid. Only this time we've got the culprits. They're outside. Would you mind having a word? Rivers is at the front desk, keeping an eye on the culprits. Foyle and Sam come out from the back. Foyle: So, what you got to say for yourselves? It's Brian and Tim. Brian: We were doing our duty. Tim: It's what the lady on the wireless told us to do. Sam: Lady Reading, sir. WVS. Foyle: You broke into your school, is that right? Looking for what? Brian: Salvage. Foyle: Such as? Brian: Paper. Tim: Saucepans. Brian: Or frying pans. Tim: Coathangers. Brian: Soap boxes. Tim: Shoe trees. Brian: Vacuum cleaner tubes. Tim: They can all be used. The lady said so. Brian: Did you know that a single chop bone can make the cordite for two cartridges? Foyle: Right. Well, I've heard of children breaking out of school, but breaking in! And how did you get in? Over the railings? Brian: No. Someone's already taken them. Foyle: Now, look, what you're doing is very commendable, but you can't just go breaking into buildings, all right? Rivers: D'you want me to lock 'em up, sir? Tim: What? Rivers: Six months hard labour on bread and water? That should teach 'em. Foyle: Well, perhaps not this time, Sergeant. But listen, um, better stick to paper from now on, all right? Sam: Leave the chop bones to the professionals. Foyle: Yeah, maybe you need a new commanding officer, keep you out of trouble. Captain Stewart. Sam: Sir. Foyle: You've just been promoted. Keep an eye on them. He leaves. Sam: Right, troops, quick march. She leads them out of the station. Sam: And get your hands out your pockets. Markham farm. Lucy is at work in the fields as Milner arrives at the gate. Milner: Miss Markham? Lucy: Yes. Milner: Sergeant Milner, Hastings Police. I'm looking for your brother. Lucy: Hastings? You work for Mr Foyle? Milner: Yes. Lucy: Sending you to do his dirty work for him this time, is he? Milner: I don't know what you mean. Lucy: You tell Mr Foyle from me Harry hasn't done anything, and he can just leave him alone. Milner: Where is he? Lucy: He's with his platoon. Milner: He's joined up? Lucy: Home Guard. They've got a big exercise. Milner: That starts tomorrow. Lucy: I haven't seen him today. Milner: Well, um, when he comes home would you let him know we'd like to speak to him? He goes to leave, and spots Harry's bloody shirt in the dustbin. Milner: Somebody hurt? Lucy: Yeah, that was Harry. He just cut his hand on a fence. Milner: He's lucky he has you to look after him. He leaves. Pub. One of the Home Guard, Clarke, arrives outside on a bicycle. He's carrying a newspaper. Inside. Another Home Guard, Connor, sits with a beer. Clarke sits down opposite him. Clarke: Thought I'd find you here. Connor: What d'you want? Clarke drops the newspaper in front of him. Clarke: Look at this. Connor: What is it? Clarke: The local rag. Connor: I can see that. What's so important? Clarke: Read it. Connor: You read it. Clarke picks it up to read. Clarke: Attempted burglary at Greenwood Hall, home of Sir Reginald and Lady Walker. Says the thief managed to get into the safe, and it was a big one. American. Connor: That's Harry. Clarke: It's gotta be, innit? Connor: I thought he'd taken early retirement. Clarke: Yeah, well, that's what he told us. Maybe he's decided to go solo. Connor: On our patch. Clarke: Double-crossing bastard! Shall we go round to his place? Connor: No need to. We'll see him tomorrow, won't we, at the wr games. Clarke: Yeah. We not gonna be able to do much with all that going on. Connor: Get him alone in the woods. We'll do plenty. Give me that. He looks at the article. Connor: Yeah. That's Harry. Walker study. Simon is on the phone while Reginald paces behind him. Simon: Thank you, Mr Cade. My father will be very grateful. Yes. I'm sure you can expect to hear from him. Goodbye. He hangs the phone up. Reginald: Well? Simon: He's given me a name. Harry Markham. Reginald: Markham? There was an Eric Markham I used to know. One of my tenant farmers. Simon: Eric's the father, Harry's the son. Just got out of prison. Did three months for breaking and entering. Reginald: Three months? That's a very short sentence. Simon: Well, the judge must have been very impressed with him. Reginald: How sure are we he's our man? Simon: Cade says there are only half a dozen people in the country who could break into a safe like ours, and Markham is local. He stands up and goes over to his father. Simon: What are we going to do? Reginald: Don't rush in, Simon. Whatever you do, don't rush in. Simon: Pa- Reginald: Just let me think. Church. Beck is playing Jesu, Joy Of Man's Desiring on the organ. The vicar comes in and walks up behind him. Vicar: I thought it must be you. Beck stops playing. Beck: You don't mind, I hope, Vicar. Vicar: Not at all, no. When did you ever need to ask? Beck: It still surprises me. Such a fine instrument for such a small church. A woman with a cane, Hilda Pierce, walks out from the back of the church. Vicar: Most of it is the player. Please, carry on. Don't mind me. Beck starts playing again. Vicar: Good evening. The vicar walks on, passing Pierce in the aisle. Once he's gone, Pierce slowly approaches Beck. He sees her in the mirror in front of him and stops playing. Pierce: German music? Beck: The greatest music in the world. Graveyard. Pierce and Beck are walking along together. Pierce: Time for you to leave, Mr Beck. Beck: So soon? Pierce: We told you to be ready. Beck: I am. When? Pierce: Three days from now. Beck: You could have given me more warning. Pierce: Oh, I'm sure we could have rearranged the wr to suit your needs. Beck: Point taken. But I'm not ready to go. Not quite yet. Pierce: I'm sorry? Beck: I'm in the middle of something. Pierce: Then you'll have to leave it. Beck: I can't. I'm sorry. Not now. Pierce: Are you going to tell me? Beck: Are you going to pretend you don't already know? Pierce: She was 36 years old. Unmarried. You knew her father. He worked here in Hastings. She worked in London. She was a personal secretary at Empire & European Foods. Her name was Agnes Browne. Beck: You never disappoint me, Miss Pearce. Pierce: You feel responsible. Beck: Yes. I do. That's the reason I can't oblige you until this business is finished. Pierce: You know you're disobeying orders? Beck: I also know there's nothing much you can do about it. Pierce: Be careful, Mr Beck. Beck: I'll keep my eyes open for you, Miss Pearce. Outside Home Guard headquarters. Sam is marching her troop of children, all wearing tin helmets, round a group of army vehicles. Sam: Left. Left. Left. Left. Brian (singing): wr is driving htler back but here's one way to win it. Just give the salvage boys the sack- Children (singing): And see there's plenty in it. Sam: All right, squad. Attention! They come to a halt. Sam: Right. Now I'm sure you'll all agree salvage collection is just as hard work as Home Guard manoeuvres. Brian: It's harder. Sam: Absolutely, Brian. And that we're just as entitled to buns and lemonade. Right. Fall out. They head over to a refreshment table where drinks and buns have been set out. Brian: Pass me one. Tim: Okay. Sam takes a bun as well. Sam: Mmm. Milner stands in Foyle's office. Foyle (offscreen): Did you find him? Milner: No, sir. But I spoke to his sister Lucy. She asked after you. Foyle: Oh, did she? Not very flattering, I bet. I was involved in his arrest. Milner: Yes, I looked at his record. I'm surprised his sentence was so short. Foyle: Yeah, well, Stephen Beck defended him. Almost took the case apart. Milner: Almost, but not quite. Foyle: Well, there was definitely a sympathy vote from the judge. Foyle gets up from his desk. Milner: Three months? Foyle: Mmm. Anyway, where we gonna to find him? Milner: Actually, you'll see him later. He's with the Home Guard. Foyle: Oh, right. I'll look out for him. They leave the office together. Milner: And would you let me know if he's got a cut on his hand? Foyle: A cut? Rivers intercepts them. Rivers: Ah, Mr Foyle, sir. Brigadier Harcourt's compliments. He's sent you a driver. Foyle: What's happened to Sam? Rivers: Oh, she's gone off with those young salvage collectors. Devlin steps out to meet them. Devlin: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Devlin. Er, Devlin, this is Milner. Milner, Captain Devlin. They shake hands. Milner: How do you do? I've heard a lot about you. Devlin: You've got my old office, I understand. Milner: Yes. Devlin: I miss it. Brigadier Harcourt suggested I might pick you up, sir. I take it you still don't drive. Foyle: Well, that's right. Devlin: Good to meet you, erm, Milner. They shake hands again. Devlin and Foyle are driving along through the trees. Devlin: You working on anything at the moment, sir? Foyle: Well, not very much if the truth be known. A burglary a couple of days ago at the Walker place. Devlin: Did they take very much? Foyle: Well, apparently not. They were frightened off before they could steal anything, but they managed to, er, drug a couple of dogs and open a pretty sophisticated American safe. Er, remind you of anybody? Devlin: Harry Markham. Foyle: Mmm. Devlin: He's out, isn't he? Foyle: He is. Devlin: Why'd he only get three months, sir? Judge got it wrong. Couldn't believe it when I heard. That lawyer of his. Not even English. Foyle: Well, that lawyer of his is a friend of mine, Devlin. Devlin: Sorry, sir, no disrespect, but, er, he made fools of us. They both did. Foyle: Well, it could have been worse. Devlin: I know, but, er, it makes you think. Harry Markham was a nasty piece of work to start with, but when you've been lying in a field hospital with your face in bandages, you can't see, don't know if you'll ever see. People like Markham should be sht. Foyle: Right. Devlin: Never mind, er, nearly there. Home Guard headquarters. Foyle sits at the table while others bustle around. Harcourt: Where's the replacement radio? The number eighteen set from Ringford platoon. Ah, Philby. Not on your way yet? Philby: Just about to leave now, sir. Harcourt: You should be on your way to Chawleigh Camp. Philby: Yes, I know, sir. Simon Walker enters by a door in the background. Harcourt: By the way, I had a call from the military police. Running out of personnel, would you believe it? They need you to set a couple of men on the lower wood on the Greenwood Estate. Foyle spots Simon, who hasn't noticed him yet. Philby: Sir. Harcourt: It's to keep the public away. We can't have people wandering about where there's live ammniton. Philby: Right, sir. Simon moves after Harcourt and Philby, then notices Foyle. Simon: Oh, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Mr Walker. Simon: I was told you were here so I came to see you. I think I owe you an apology. Foyle: What for? Simon: Well, Father and I were talking and we realise we were wrong not have contacted you about what happened at the hall, and, well, really just to say that we're certain that nothing was taken. Foyle: Well, I'm very pleased to hear it. Simon turns and spots Philby coming back. Simon: Hello, Philby. Philby: Oh. Hello, Simon. Simon: How's it going? Philby: I'm just about to join my men. Harcourt: Philby! This is temporary headquarters of Home Guard Defending Forces. I really don't think it should be open to civilians. Simon: Hello, I'm Simon Walker. You're on my father's land. He offers his hand, but Harcourt doesn't shake it. Harcourt: Ah, but this is temporarily my land, Mr Walker. And you are trespassing. Simon: Right. (Sorry.) He leaves. Home Guard tent. Harry is smoking when Connor and Clarke come in. Connor: Hello, Harry. Harry: Connor. What do you want? Connor: What d'you think? Harry: I don't know. Connor: We've been looking for you, Harry. You've been avoiding us. Harry: Why would I do that? Connor: You tell me. Harry: I haven't been avoiding you. He goes to leave the tent and the two of them step in front of him. Connor: Been reading about you, Harry. Harry: What? Connor: In the newspaper. Greenwood Hall. Someone broke in there a couple of days ago. Wonder who that could have been. Harry: Nothing to do with me. Connor: No? Bloody great safe, that's what we heard. Clarke: Drugged the dogs, eh? Put 'em nicely to sleep. Always did have a soft spot, didn't you, Harry? See, if that had been Mike and me, dogs'd be dad. Connor: Have you had the police round, then? They must know it was you. Harry: I tell you, I don't know what you're talking about. He tries to leave again and Connor pushes him back. Connor: What I'm talking about, an agreement we had, the three of us had. Clarke: An agreement, yeah. Connor: We work as a team. Harry: We weren't a team when I was being sent down. Connor: Yeah, well, that's your tough luck! Clarke: You're the one who got caught. Harry: Yeah, that's right. I got caught. I went down, and now I'm finished with it. I'm not interested any more. Connor: Yeah, that's what you told us, Harry. And we told you that was fine by us. But if you changed your mind, d'you remember? All for one. One for all. That's what we said. Clarke: See, I think he's forgotten. Connor: Yeah. I do, too. So, if you have changed your mind, Harry, you know what that means. It means it's just like the old days. Clarke: Three-way split. Connor: So why don't you tell us what you took from Greenwood Hall, and where you've got it stashed. Harry: You've got it all wrong. I had nothing to do with it. I never went near the place. Connor: You never were a good liar, Harry. He kicks Harry in the guts and Harry doubles over. Harry: Ah! Ah! Clarke grabs hold of Harry to hold him back. Connor: You're with us, or you're against us. It's as simple as that. Harry: Oh, get away from me! He struggles against Clarke. Connor: I don't think you're listening! Connor hits him, and Clarke shoves him into a folding table, which collapses. Harry: Argh! Clarke: Where is it, Harry? He slams Harry's head against the ground. Philby (offscreen): What's going on here? He's entered the tent behind them. Connor and Clarke pull Harry back to his feet. Philby: Connor, Clarke, what do you think you're doing? Connor: Just a small disagreement, sir. Nothing serious. Philby: Well, I'm not going to have you scrapping like this. Not in uniform. Get round the front and join the others. He ducks back out of the tent. Connor: I'd watch out if I was you. Get very lonely in the woods all on your own. Lot of live ammniton around. He claps Harry on the back before he and Clarke leave. A van drives through the woods, carrying a group of Home Guard with rfles, including Harry, Connor and Clarke. It comes to a stop and Philby gets out from the passenger seat as they climb down. Philby: All right. Gather round. The idea is to set up an observation post behind Chawleigh Camp looking down at the enemy from the ridge. We see everything they do. The camp is the Reds' bridgehead. So when the regulars move out, the brigadier knows when they're going and where. Got it? Clarke: Yes, sir. Connor is watching Harry. Connor: We're right behind you. Sir. Philby: We're the eyes and ears. If there ever is an invasion, it's a vital role. All right, everyone. Form up. Single file. Hand signals only. Not you, Markham. I've got a special assignment. He leads Harry off with him. Walker lounge. Alice is arranging flowers as Reginald comes in. Alice: Are you going out? Reginald: Yes. Alice: But you said it was safer to stay in the house. Reginald: Safer for you. I thought I might keep an eye on things. It is my land. Alice: Would you like me to come? Reginald: No, no, no. I'll take the dogs. Alice: Is there something you're not telling me? Reginald: What? Alice: Well, ever since Simon got back you've been behaving so strangely. Is it something to do with your business? Reginald: I never discuss my business. You know that. Alice: But your business is your life! If you exclude me from that you exclude me from everything. Reginald: That's nonsense. Alice: Were you like this with Joyce? Reginald: Don't ask me about Joyce. Alice: Why not? I know how much she meant to you. I know how you must have felt, losing her. Reginald: I don't think you do. Alice: I know you'll never love me the way you loved her. Reginald opens the door to bring the dogs in. Alice: I hate it here. I feel like I'm living in her shadow, and the worst thing is you never talk about her. You and Simon, you, you live in your own private world, and no matter what I do I'm not allowed in. Why can't we go back to London? We've got the flat. We were so, so happy there. Reginald: These are difficult times, Alice. Don't ask questions. Just trust me. Enjoy what we have. I'm going out. He kisses her on the check. Countryside. Philby is leading his men along a dirt track through trees. Connor and Clarke leave the group and head off into the trees just before Philby stops and turns round. Philby: Right-o. Now listen. We've got to get out of those trees onto the ridge. We're gonna need snper cover, so Connor and Clarke... Where the hell are they? Oh, well, I suppose they'll catch up. Snell. You can provide cover. Come on. They head out across a field. They've barely left the road behind when Captain Delvin pops up from behind cover. Devlin: At last! Thought you'd never get here, Mr Philby. His men stand up behind him, aiming their rfles. Philby: What? Devlin: Don't know whether I'm meant to say 'bang' or 'hands up', but consider it said. Now, would you mind taking off your clothes? Home Guard HQ. One of the men is fiddling with a radio. Harcourt: Still not working? For heaven's sake, man, get on with it! This is completely hopeless. Have to get a message to Divisional HQ. I don't suppose you've any ideas, Foyle? He turns to Foyle. Foyle: Er, well, I don't have ideas, Brigadier. I'm only the referee. Field. One of Devlin's men, Prentice, stands guard over the group of captured Home Guard, now stripped of their uniforms aside from Philby. Philby: How much longer do you propose to keep us here? I am a captain in the Home Guard, and you have no right. Outside the Home Guard HQ. One of the men is trying to fix the engine of one of the vehicles. Harcourt: First the radio, now this! I don't know what the blue pencil's going on. Come on, private, we can't spend the whole exercise twiddling our thumbs here. I have to be at Divisional HQ. Foyle and Sam walk by behind him. Foyle: Can we offer you a lift? Harcourt: You've got a car? Foyle: Follow me. A short distance away, Stephen Beck sits watching this from his car. He drives away. Boundary point. Harry is on guard duty by the gate. He sets his rfle and tin hat down. Sam and Foyle are driving along with Harcourt in the back. Harcourt: Faulty equipment everywhere. And where's the ammniton? Chaps are lucky if they go out on a dusk-to-dawn patrol with a dozen rounds. They come to a halt at a Home Guard roadblock in front of a pub. Foyle: Found the front, anyway. Harcourt: We're miles from the front. I say, what's this? Oh, splendid show. Taking no chances, eh? Real gumption. He gets out of the car. Harcourt: Ah. Excellent work. What's your platoon? Devlin comes out from behind the trees as the men manning the roadblock all raise their rfles. Devlin: Sorry to inform you, Brigadier Harcourt, you've just been captured by the enemy. He goes over to Foyle's car. Devlin: Mind getting out, please? Foyle: This your idea, Devlin? Foyle opens the door to get out. Devlin: Don't worry, Brigadier, we'll inform your HQ. Harcourt: But your, your men are wearing Home Guard uniforms, Captain Devlin! Damn it, man, you're behind our lines. This is not in the plan. Devlin: Well, if Jerry does come, let's hope he remembers to bring the plan with him, right? Harcourt: What's the point of the exercise if you don't play by the rules? Devlin: The point is to teach the Home Guard how to deal with the Germans. Lesson number one, don't believe everything you see. Harcourt: I hope your men realise that in the field the enemy would be entitled to sh*t them for wearing its uniforms. Devlin: Lesson number two, in this wr it's the winners who'll decide who gets sht. Harcourt: Foyle, you're the referee. Tell him he can't do this. Foyle: Er, looks as if he already has. Devlin: We'll try to make this brief incarceration as pleasant as possible, sir. Landlord here pulls a good pint. Foyle: Look, er, I'm going to leave you to it, if you don't mind. Harcourt: No, Foyle, you can't leave. Foyle: Well, if I stay I'd only have to arrest you. This pub should have closed an hour ago, you know? He gets back in the car. Devlin: Take Brigadier Harcourt inside, will you, and, er, look after him. Be right back. Boundary point. Harry sits smoking. He turns around at the sound of a twig snapping, but doesn't see anyone. Field. Philby and his group are still under the watch of Devlin's man, Prentice. There's the sound of a gn in the difference. Philby: What's your name? Prentice: Prentice, sir. Philby: Did you hear that? That was a sht. There shouldn't be any shting in this zone. There's a second gn. Philby: For heaven's sake, Prentice. Whatever your captain's planning he'll, he'll have done it by now. I think we should find out where that shting's coming from. The game is over. Will you please let us go? Boundary point. Someone fires a revolve, shting Harry through the forehead. Markham farm. Lucy walks through the cottage. Lucy: Harry? Boundary point. Foyle and Milner stand over Harry's body, while Sam waits by the car. Philby and Prentice are there too. Milner: Single bllet through the head. Went right through. An accident? Foyle: Plenty of gn about, but this was the demarcation point. There shouldn't have been any live ammniton here. How many shts did he say? Milner: Three. Foyle: What happened to the other two, then? Milner: And how did the kller miss twice? Look at the burn marks. He must have been right on top of him. Why didn't he make a run for it? He turns to Philby and Prentice. Milner: You definitely heard three shts? Philby: Yes. About half a minute apart. I knew there was something wrong straight away, but by the time I'd got here... Poor boy. I gave him the order to guard the perimeter. Well, you were there when the brigadier requested it. This was my fault. Devlin arrives to join them. Devlin: Sir, I've just heard. Can't believe it. We were only just talking about him. Almost seems like fate. Foyle: Yes, doesn't it? Devlin: Mind I take a look at the body? Foyle: Well, I'd rather you didn't. Devlin: Well, I only want to help, sir. Foyle: Well, you could help by telling me what you did after you left the brigadier. Devlin: What? You don't think I could have had anything to do with all this? Foyle: Well, you know I have to ask. Devlin: I was heading over to Divisional HQ to make my report. Foyle: By car? Devlin: No, sir. I thought I could make it on foot. Then I heard about the accident, so I turned round. Came straight back here. Foyle: Well, whatever it is, it's not an accident. Devlin: No, sir. I can see that now. Foyle: Right. Thank you. Devlin: Sir. He leaves. Milner: Do you want me to check his story, sir? Foyle: I should. He heads back over to Sam by the car. Sam: Where to, sir? Foyle: Greenwood Farm. Markham cottage. Lucy is in tears at the table. Lucy: You don't care about Harry, Mr Foyle, because all you ever wanted was to see him in jail. You even lied in court and you knew what was going on, and you didn't have any evidence against him. You had no real evidence, so you just had to cheat! Foyle: Your brother served three months for a crime he committed. Lucy: I suppose the end justifies the means. Is that it? Foyle: I've never believed that. Lucy: I don't know what I'm going to do now without him. I don't know what I'm going to do! Foyle: I'd like to help. Lucy: How can you help me? Foyle: Well, finding out who klled him would be a good start. Did you know that he'd started burglary again? Lucy: No. He told me he'd stopped. Foyle: But you did know that he'd broken into Greenwood Hall? Lucy: Yes, I knew. I knew. God, he promised me he was going to give up thieving, Mr Foyle. And then to think that- God, whatever he was doing at the hall, I know he was doing it for someone else because a man came to the house. It was- it was the same day of the break-in. Foyle: Did you see him? Lucy: No, but, oh, but he left this. She goes over to get the slip of paper Harry tucked into the book. Foyle unfolds it and is silent a moment. Foyle: Any idea what he did with, er, whatever it was he took? Lucy: He told me it was being looked after by friends. Foyle: Is that all he said? Lucy: Oh, something about them being busy, but he could trust them. Foyle: Which friends might these be? Lucy: Oh, there were these two people that he used to see all the time before he went to prison. Foyle: And who are they? Lucy: Connor. Michael Connor and Albert Clarke. Police interview room. Milner is questioning Connor and Clarke. Connor: We had nothing to do with it. Milner: You have three convictions. Burglary and asault. Is that how you knew him? You worked together? According to your platoon commander, Mr Philby, you disappeared in the wood, and that was just a few minutes before Harry Markham was sht dad. Connor: Yeah, we disappeared. Well, what d'you think we're gonna do? Go traipsing around the south coast on some stupid wr game? Clarke: But we never saw him. We never went near him. Milner: You'd already given him a beating. Connor: It was a gentleman's disagreement. Milner: Did you want to work with him? Connor: Well, yeah. We discussed it. He didn't want any part of it. He said he'd had enough. Milner: And you didn't believe him. Connor: Oh, come on, you know as well as I do that he burgled Sir Reginald Walker's place. Clarke: Had to be him, it's obvious. Connor: Look, we had nothing to do with it. And you have got nothing on us. So, what you gonna do, eh? Why don't you plant some more false evidence and hope this time a judge doesn't notice? Milner leaves. Empire & European Foods office building. There's the sound of a knock. Reginald Walker's office. Philby: Sir Reginald, I have to speak to you. Reginald: I'm very busy, Philby. What do you want? Philby: I have to talk to you about this man Harold Markham. Reginald: What about him? Philby: He was klled. He was klled in your grounds. I ordered him to stay on guard. Reginald: Somebody accidentally let off a gn and klled him. Philby: That's not what the police say. Reginald: You know, Philby, maybe you should get away for a while. I've noticed recently you seem to have been under a lot of strain. Philby: Well, this business in Switzerland. Reginald: Of course. But we've broken no laws. We've done nothing wrong. Philby: So you say. Reginald: And you think otherwise? Philby hesitates for a moment. Philby: No. Reginald: You're a good man, Philby, and after the wr you'll be a very wealthy one. But you need to concentrate more on the wider canvas. As it happens I have just the assignment for you. He picks up the phone. Reginald: Miss Patterson, could you book a call to our New York office? Patterson (over phone): Yes, sir. Stephen Beck's office. He packs away his court wig. Court building staircase. Foyle heads up the stairs. Beck's office. Foyle enters. Beck: Christopher. Foyle: Stephen. Beck: Er, can I help? Foyle: You remember Harry Markham? Beck: Markham. He chuckles. Beck: I remember him well, of course. I, I'm sure we both do. Foyle: When did you last see him? Beck: Oh, about three or four days ago. I... visited him at his farm. Foyle: Why was that? Beck: You need to ask me that after what happened? Foyle: Well, I'm not talking about what happened last year. I'm talking about, er, now and the events leading up to his death. Beck: This is a mrder investigation? Foyle: It is. Beck: I... was interested in Markham because I was concerned about him. After he came out of prison I saw him... occasionally. Foyle: You'd be surprised to learn, then, that on the same day you went to the farm, he broke into the house of a local industrialist? Beck: Yes. I would be very surprised. Foyle: And I'd be very offended if I thought that you of all people would imagine that I wouldn't know when you weren't telling me the truth. After a moment, Beck nods. Beck: All right. Markham was working for me. Churchyard. Beck and Foyle sit on a bench under a tree. Beck: I left Germany in February '35, but what you may not know is that if I had stayed, I would almost certainly have been klled because I had been speaking out against the nzi, and in the end I was denounced. Since then I have tried to fight my own wr. I'm collecting information about English businessmen who are cosy with the nzi. In particular, Sir Reginald Walker of Empire & European Foods. You know what they do? Foyle: They make margarine. Beck: Yes, amongst other things, but let's stick with margarine for the moment. Germany has lost access to all sorts of food resources. Edible oils and fats are in short supply, and without them you can't make a whole range of foods. You can't cook. You can't make soap or detergent. You can't even make margarine. So if the food system breaks down, it all breaks down. You won't win a wr if you can't feed your people. Now, a week ago Simon Walker was in Geneva dealing directly with an SS officer working for the Reichs Kommissariat. Foyle: Right. Well, if they and the company are still dealing with the Germans, then they're contravening the Trading With the Enemy Act and they face prison. Beck: But you would need evidence. Foyle: Which you sent Markham to get? Beck: Yes. Foyle: And the evidence is what? Beck: There was a letter Simon Walker brought with him from Switzerland. It was an agreement between Empire & European Foods and, and the Reichs Kommissariat. It was, in essence, a trading agreement between Sir Reginald Walker and the Third Reich. Foyle: How do you know about that? Beck: It doesn't matter. Let me show you something. He gets up from the bench and leads Foyle to the gravestone of Anna Beck, died 12 March 1936. Beck: My dear wife Anna did not live long after she came home. I've never spoken to you of my son. He would be the same age as your son, but we left him in Germany. We... lost him to the nzi. Foyle: I'm sorry. Beck: I don't ask for your pity, Christopher, just your understanding. Don't be surprised if my sense of morality is a little frayed at the edges. Foyle: This, er, letter would have been enough, do you think? Beck: I believe so. Foyle: Is this what he found in the safe? Beck: Certainly Markham found something. Whatever it was I believe they klled him to get it back. They walk away. Reginald Walker's office. Foyle stands before his desk. Reginald: Are you really sure it's mrder? There were manoeuvres in progress. Plenty of room for error. Foyle: Well, er, the evidence suggests it's highly unlikely to have been an accident. Reginald: I don't suppose it has anything to do with me. Foyle: Oh, well, on the contrary, it, er, might have a great deal to do with you, since we believe it, er, was Markham who broke into your house. Reginald: Really? Foyle: And the sht wounds we found in his shoulder and on his back, er, rather give the lie to your son's claim to have fired in the air. Reginald: It was pitch dark. Nobody knew quite what had happened. I think you should be careful what you say, Chief Superintendent. My son did not lie. Foyle: Still rather puzzled why you, er, didn't want to report the break-in. Reginald: I've already explained. Foyle: Wasn't, erm, anything to do with, er, certain papers that might have been taken from the safe? Reginald: Papers? Foyle: Relating to your son's visit to Switzerland. Reginald: Nothing was taken. I told you that. He stands up from his desk. Reginald: Let me tell you something, Mr Foyle. You may be at wr, but I'm not because business is bigger than wr. I can give you a dozen British companies, household names, that are involved in Germany. Petrol, food, automobiles. Do you know, since the nzi marched into Paris sales of cars in France have actually increased? And why not? The bmb that are falling on London now are being dropped by planes which were designed by our so-called friends. wr doesn't matter. You and I don't matter. Business will go on. Foyle: Well, thank you for that fascinating insight. One of your directors, er, Philby, erm, he was with the Home Guard. How do I get to speak to him? Reginald: I'm very sorry. He left just a little while ago. You've missed him. Foyle leaves. Greenwood Hall. The four child salvage collectors are standing on their pram to see over the wall. There's smoke coming from around the side of the house. Brian: We have to go round the back. Tim: Why? Brian: I dunno. It's just what happens when people have these great big houses. You just go round the back. Tim: You know what Miss Stewart said. Brian: What? Tim: We're not meant to respass. Brian: Respass? Tim: Trespass, I dunno. Brian: We're not trespassing. Anyway, look at their stuff they're burning. It's a waste! Look, if we don't collect salvage, we're never gonna win the prize. Come on, then. The three boys climb over, leaving the girl with them behind. Brian: Keep watch. They run towards the smoke. Reginald's study. He and Simon bring out stacks of paperwork to add to the bundles on the desk. Simon: Are you sure about this, Pa? Reginald: I would always have preferred to have kept nothing in writing. Simon: What about after the wr? Reginald: There are copies in Switzerland. All this must go. Simon: You're not panicking? Reginald: Not panicking, no, but there are certain pressures on us. This man Foyle. The death of Markham. You don't know anything about that, do you? Simon: No, of course not. I needed him alive. Reginald: Exactly. We both did. Alice comes into the room. Alice: What are you two up to? Reginald: Nothing. Simon walks past her with a stack of papers. Outside. Simon adds the papers to the blaze burning in a metal bin. There are more bundles on the ground around it. As he heads back to the house, the boys peer out from the bushes. They run out and start grabbing papers to carry off. Study. Simon enters. Simon: How much more? Reginald: We're almost done. Alice is looking out of the window. Alice: You seem to have invited some children to your bonfire party. Reginald: What? Reginald hurries over to join her and sees the boys. Reginald: Simon, you bloody fool! Simon: What? Reginald: Stop them! Simon: How? Reginald: Set the dogs on them! Alice: You can't be serious! They're children, for God's sake! Reginald: They're thieves, Alice, and I'm protecting my property. Alice: But you can't, not like this. Reginald: You don't understand. Simon heads out of the study. Alice: No, I don't! What's so important about these papers? Reginald: I've already told you, you stupid woman, it's my business! Outside. The boys are running along carrying papers. Brian: Come on, quickly. Tim: I'm coming. Brian: No, you're not! Behind them, Simon lets the dogs out through the front door. Simon: Go on! Brian: Faster! Hurry up. Tim: I'm coming. Brian: No, you're not. Hurry up. Tim: I'm trying as hard as I can. The dogs run across the grass towards them as they run back to the wall. Brian: Just get to the wall. Tim: I'm trying. Girl: Watch out for the dogs! At the back of the trio, Tim looks back at the dogs. Brian: Get over the wall. They toss their papers over. Tim: Okay. Brian: Well, quickly, then. Tim: I am! Brian and the other boy are over the wall, but Tim is still on the other side. Brian: Quickly, get up. The dogs catch up and Tim cries out in pain. Tim: The papers. Brian: Forget 'em. Brian helps him over the wall. Tim: Ow. Ooh. Ooh. Ow. The other two boys lower him to the ground. Brian: You all right? Tim's left leg is covered in blood where he's been badly bitten. Tim: Ooh. Ah! My leg. At the top of the bundle of documents beside him is the letter of agreement. Library. Beck and Pierce are separately reading papers. The librarian gets up to leave the room, and Beck moves to stand closer to Pierce. They talk without looking up at each other. Pierce: I can't give you any more time, Mr Beck. Beck: I have a feeling my business in England may already be over. When am I leaving? Pierce: Saturday night. If I could rearrange the wr to suit your own schedule, I would gladly do it, but I'm afraid it's not as simple as that. Beck: It isn't just about a schedule, Miss Pierce. Sir Reginald Walker and his son have rearranged my entire life. Pierce: And now there are other people's lives at stake. People who will fly you to Germany, the people who will meet you. The people who have agreed to help you. Beck: Yes. There's the sound of the door, and they look up to see the librarian returns. Pierce: We can't wait any longer. Beck: Just promise me one thing. This business with the Walkers. You won't give up! Pierce: There's a Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle working on the case. Beck: Yes. Pierce: He won't give up. Foyle's office. Foyle is looking at newspaper clippings. Milner knocks on the open door. Milner: Sir? Foyle: You finished? Milner: Yes, sir. I spoke to the Home Guard about Devlin's movements before the shts were fired. Foyle: And? Milner: There are still about ten minutes unaccounted for. He could have made his way to Divisional HQ as he said, but he could have doubled back. Foyle: Right. See this? He shows Milner one of the clippings. Milner: London secretary falls to her death. Foyle: Yeah, but she fell from the Empire & European Foods building. Dig out what you can about it, will you? Milner: Yes, sir. It says her father lives in Hastings. Foyle: Good place to start. Sam is driving along. She spots the four salvage collectors and stops nearby. Tim is laying in the pram with the papers. Brian: You're okay. It's not that bad. Okay? Sam gets out of the car. Sam: Oh, crikey. Let me see. She looks at Tim's wound and hisses. Sam: Ooh! Wounded in action. Tim: Yes, miss. Sam: You were salvaging paper. Where? Brian: We were at this hall, at Sir Reginald Walker's place. He set his dogs on us. They were German dogs. Tim: Roverman. Sam: Roverman? I think you mean Doberman. Tim, we're gonna have to drive you to hospital. Have you told his parents? Brian: No. If you think that's bad, you should see what his dad would do. Sam: He's gonna have to know sometime. Come on. Help me get him into the car. Brian: Here we go. Greenwood Hall. Alice is on her way up the stairs and meets Reginald coming down. Reginald: I just want to say that I'm extremely sorry that I spoke to you in the way that I did. I will of course see that the child is all right, and give some sort of compensation if necessary. It was a complete loss of control. It will never happen again. Alice: It wasn't control that you lost. It was the pretence. Reginald: I'm sorry? Alice: That you're a civilised man. She continues on past him up the stairs. Courtroom. Arthur Browne is setting out papers. Milner (offscreen): Mr Browne? Browne: Yes? Sergeant Milner, isn't it? Milner: Yes, sir. Browne: I never forget a witness. The pottery workers. One strangled the other with a belt. Milner: I've come to talk to you about your daughter, Agnes. I'm sorry about your loss. Browne: I've got nothing to say about Agnes. Milner: She worked as a secretary at Empire & European Foods in London. Browne: Yes. Milner: And there was an accident. Browne: That's what they said, yes. Milner: Did you not believe them? Browne: I've spent my whole life working for justice. Well, the police investigated, and they say she fell. And that's the justice that I got. My Agnes would never have fallen out of a window. She was scared of heights. If the window had been open, she wouldn't have gone near. Milner: Did you tell the police this? Browne: Of course I told them. But it's a big company. Big business. Sir Reginald Walker. They didn't want any scandal. Milner: You didn't talk to anyone? Browne: I talked to Mr Beck. Of course, he felt bad about it. If it wasn't for him she wouldn't have been there. He said there was nothing I could do. There was no evidence. No witnesses. And he'd know, wouldn't he? Milner: Stephen Beck knew your daughter? Browne: Got her the job. He saw it advertised and gave her a reference. They were very close, the two of them. Friends. It wasn't his fault. But I wish she'd never met him. If it wasn't for Mr Beck she'd still be here. Milner: Thank you. He leaves. Foyle's office. He's at his desk as Sam comes rushing in. Sam: Sorry I'm late, sir. Foyle: Where have you been? Sam: I've been at the hospital. Foyle: You all right? Sam: Yes. I was visiting a friend. Tim Howard. One of the salvage boys. He was at Greenwood Hall yesterday evening, and you wouldn't believe it, but Sir Reginald Walker set his dogs on them. Tim had been badly bitten. Foyle: What were they up to? Sam: They were collecting paper. Sir Reginald was burning it by the ton, so they took some and he went berserk. D'you know what they took? D'you know where it is? Sam: Yes. The four kids are pushing their pram full of salvage along. Tim is now walking with a crutch. They stop outside a shed. Sam, Foyle and Milner drive up behind them and get out of the car. Sam: I'm afraid there's quite a bit of it. The children have been bringing their stuff over for months. Foyle: Hello, Brian. Brian: Good morning, sir. Foyle: Been busy? Brian: Tim nearly lost his leg. It was eaten by dogs. Foyle: Yeah. So I heard. So, we need to find one or two of the papers that you took from the big house. Know where they are? Brian: No. Tim: There's loads. Foyle: Any of it, er, been collected yet? Brian: No. We need to keep them till we get the prize for collecting the most salvage. If we don't, they'll never know how much we got. Foyle: All right. Would you know where you've put it? Brian: Yeah. I'll show you. Through here. Sam: How's the leg, Tim? Tim: Getting better. The boys move some wood and corrugated iron from in front of the doorway to the shed. Inside is a vast heap of papers along with various other types of scrap. Foyle: Right. Let's get started. Brian climbs atop the heap of papers. Brian: We're definitely gonna win this prize. Tim: And the chocolate! Milner and Foyle start looking at papers. Markham farm. Lucy is arranging vegetables in a basket when Simon comes through the gate behind her. Simon: Lucy. Lucy: Mr Walker. Simon: Just wanted to say how sorry I was to hear about your brother. Lucy: Thank you. Simon: First your father and now him. You must feel very much on your own. Lucy: Well, you know- Simon: Look, if there's anything I can do to help. Now, there are some things we have to discuss. Lucy: Can I offer you some tea? Simon: Mmm. Thank you. Cottage kitchen. Lucy pours them both cups of tea. Simon: I realise it's very difficult, but I do have to talk to you about the matter of the rent. Your brother left you six months behind. Lucy: I'm not planning to stay. I'm gonna move on. Simon: Well, that doesn't help with the debt. Now, the last thing I want to do is put you under pressure, especially at a time like this. Lucy: Mr Walker, I don't know what I can do, because I don't have any money. Simon: I want to help. Now, I don't suppose you ever... Lucy: What? Simon: I don't suppose you ever saw anything in your brother's possession that didn't belong to him? Lucy: No. Simon: I'm talking about a box. About this big. It's not very valuable, but it belonged to my mother before she died, and it was taken from the house. Lucy: You don't know it was Harry that broke in. She turns away and sits down at the table with her back to him. Simon: Well, no, we don't know that for certain, but it does seem more than likely. Lucy: I never saw anything. Simon: Lucy, I want to help you. He sets his tea down and starts massaging her shoulders, leaning close. Simon: You're not helping me. We can forget about the debt. I can help you start again. Lucy: (Thank you.) He puts his hands around her neck as if to strangle her, and she struggles against him. Simon: But I want it back, and if you try to sell it, I promise you you'll end up just like Harry. He kisses her, then lets her go and moves to leave. Simon: Thanks for the tea. Greenwood Hall. Reginald is coming down the stairs, and sees the cellar door standing open. He hurries over to it and goes down into the cellar. Reginald: Simon? He steps through into another section of the cellar, where Simon stands gazing at a collection of nzi paraphernalia. Reginald: What are you doing down here? Simon: Passing the time. Reginald: You shouldn't be down here. You left the door open. Simon: You worried about your new wife? Is that it? You needn't be. She's left you. There's a letter on your desk. I put her in a taxi. He walks around, looking at the collection. Simon: We should have spent more time in Germany. Mummy loved it there, didn't she? All those holidays before the wr when we were a family. Reginald: Simon- Simon: No. People like us, people like who you used to be, we're the strong ones. We're the ones who will make the new England. Reginald backs out and leaves. Beck's office. He's packing books into a bag as Foyle arrives. Foyle: You're leaving? Beck: I'm afraid so. Foyle: Is this, er, what you wanted? He holds out the letter of agreement and Beck takes it. He starts to read, then looks up at Foyle. Beck: You know what this says? Foyle: Well, my German's, er, not quite up to it. Beck: And it is agreed, in return for full cooperation, the development of new food products, all property and assets previously seized will be returned to Empire & European Foods by the German Reich subsequent to... et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It is unambiguous. Foyle: Would seem to be. Beck: How did you get this? Foyle: With difficulty. Beck: Thank you. Foyle: Well. Thank you. He takes the letter back from Beck and tucks it into a pocket. Foyle: If I'm to do my job, how can I let you leave? Beck: Mmm. I'm sorry? Foyle: Well, you've instigated a burglary, which is against the law. The man you, er, recruited to commit the burglary has been mrder. Beck: You think I klled him? Foyle: Well, I think you're responsible for his death in much the same way as you're responsible for the death of Agnes Browne, the woman you put into Empire & European Foods. A lot of people seem to, er, lose their lives in close proximity to you. Beck: I told you. I'm fighting a wr. Foyle: Which, er, makes your behaviour ethically acceptable? The nzi might claim the same. Beck: I do what I have to. Foyle: Help me understand why you shouldn't pay for this in exactly the same way that anyone else might have to. Beck: You're right. I will try and help you if I can. Please. Come with me. An office full of books. Pierce stands by the window. Beck: This lady is, er, Hilda Pierce. Huh! At least that's what she calls herself. I now work for her. Pierce: Mr Foyle. Beck: Can we tell him? Pierce: No. Beck: But I think we will, anyway. Miss Pierce represents an organisation which is quite new to this country, but it can be briefly described as overseas intelligence. They are sending me back to Germany because I still have contacts with the Communist and Socialist groups, and my job is to help form a resistance. Pierce: Mr Beck leaves tomorrow night. Beck: It's extremely unlikely that I will return. Agents such as myself do not last long. Foyle: What about the letter? Beck: Miss Pierce will deal with that. I have every faith in her. There is one other thing you should know. I once told you that I had been denounced, and that was the reason why I had to leave. It was my son who denounced me. There was a boy he had met. An English boy, who was even more fanatical and anti-Semitic than the nzi. His name, this boy, was Simon Walker. Now do you understand? You've been a good friend to me, Christopher. I will miss our fishing trips together. I will miss you. He leaves. Foyle puts the letter down for Pierce. Foyle: Don't let him down. He leaves as well. Foyle's office. Devlin is there to speak with him. Devlin: I'm rejoining my unit. We're being sent to North Africa. Foyle: Well, good luck. Devlin: Thank you. Sir, I, I want to say... I'm sorry about Markham. Foyle: Sorry that he's dad, or sorry about what happened six months ago? Devlin: Would I need to apologise for that? Foyle: Well, you tell me. Devlin: He was guilty, sir. Foyle: Well, yes, he was found guilty of breaking and entering, but, er, the theft charge had to be dropped. Devlin: Did it? Foyle: Yes. Devlin: Why, sir? Foyle: The necklace that we submitted as primary evidence had to be withdrawn. Devlin: Who withdrew it? Foyle: I did. Devlin: Why? Foyle: Because, Devlin, it turned out to be you who took the necklace from the house he'd broken into. It was you who planted it in Markham's own house. You were so determined to see the man jailed that you wrecked the case against him to the point the judge almost set him free. You perverted the course of justice. And what's more, he might still be alive if it hadn't been for your unforgivable interference. Devlin: Even though I was in France when the case came to court... why didn't you tell me what had happened? Foyle: Because I chose not to disclose these details to the court or to you. He was guilty. He was guilty despite the evidence, not because of it. You had chosen to fight for your country and were no longer around. It seemed to serve no purpose. Devlin: You could have had me charged. Foyle: Yeah. Devlin: You still could. Foyle: Yeah. I think you should go, don't you? Devlin salutes before leaving. Devlin: Sir. Church. The organ is playing. The salvage collectors singing in the congregation, along with Sam, Milner and Foyle, and Hilda Pierce. ♪ No hobgoblin nor foul fiend ♪ Can daunt his spirit ♪ He knows he at the end ♪ Shall life inherit Foyle is watching Pierce in the row ahead of him. ♪ Then fancies fly away ♪ He'll fear not what men say ♪ He'll labour night and day to be a pilgrim ♪ A-men Vicar: I want to dedicate today's service to Stephen Beck, who played the organ here on many occasions, but who was forced to leave our community quite suddenly due to an illness in his family. He will be missed. Outside. The congregation file out past the vicar. Vicar: Thank you for all your hard work. Maybe we can get together, er, perhaps Wednesday night, to work out the fine details? I'll see you then. Woman: See you then. Milner: I understand that Devlin has rejoined his unit, sir. Foyle: Yes, that's right. Milner: He's not a suspect? Foyle: No, I think we can safely rule him out of the picture. So your job's safe. The group of salvage collectors have reached the vicar. Vicar: So, you won the competition. Sam: Yes, that's right. It was chocolate all round. Brian: I've eaten mine. Vicar: It was well-deserved. Sam: Yes. They've been busy little bees, haven't you? Tim: Yeah. Behind them, Foyle looks thoughtful. Sam: Come on, then. Tim: Bye. Brian: Bye. Sam: Bye. Vicar: Goodbye. Man: Bye. The vicar shakes hands with Foyle. Vicar: Good morning. Foyle: Good morning. Pierce walks up behind him as the vicar heads back into the church. Pierce: Mr Foyle. I thought I should give you the bad news. Foyle: Beck? Pierce: No, no, he's all right as far as we know. About the letter. Foyle: What about it? Pierce: Didn't work. Should have. Under normal circumstances it would have, but Sir Reginald Walker has been more clever than we thought. Of course he's making huge profits out of the nzi, but at the same time, he's managed to persuade the British government he can use his contacts to their advantage. He passes on low-grade information. They turn a blind eye. Believe me, I made sure the letter went to the right people. They just didn't want to know. Foyle: So he's, um, trading with the enemy with the Government's unofficial blessing, is he? Pierce: Well, elements within the government, anyway. At the end of the day, it's just a piece of paper. That's what they say. It isn't enough. Foyle: What more do they want? Pierce: They didn't say. But I'm afraid, in the absence of any further evidence, Sir Reginald Walker is in the clear. Foyle: Well, I appreciate your telling me. Thank you for taking the trouble. Pierce: I thought I owed it to Stephen Beck. And it occurred to me that you might not want to give up. Walker has his supporters, but there are plenty of people who dislike him as much as you and I. Markham farm. Foyle and Sam stand watching as Lucy opens up the beehive. Lucy: There is something. She lifts out the box, wrapped up in a scarf, and brings it over to Foyle. Lucy: How did you know it would be there? Foyle: Well, I didn't. It's my driver who knows about these things. Sam: Do I, sir? Foyle: Yep. But your brother told you. Lucy: Did he? No. He told me it was being looked after by friends. Foyle: Yeah, friends who were... Lucy: Oh, busy bees! Greenwood Hall. Lucy unwraps the box to show Simon and Reginald. Simon: Where did you find it? Lucy: It was in the beehive. I was just telling the bees about Harry, 'cause you, you have to do that when there's been a death, and, yeah, that was where it was. Simon: You didn't tell anyone? Lucy: No. You sure it's not valuable? It's so beautiful. Reginald: It has sentimental value. Thank you for returning it to us. Lucy: I'll see myself out. She leaves. Simon follows her as far as the doorway, then turns back. Simon: There you are, Pa, we got it back. We're in the clear. Outside. Foyle and Milner stand talking next to a police van. Foyle: Chances are it will work. Milner: No reason why not. Oh, sir. Here she comes. Lucy comes out of the house and nods to them. Inside. Reginald looks up at the sound of the door. Foyle and Milner walk in. Reginald: Mr Foyle. I didn't hear you announced. What are you doing here? Foyle: Well, I'm, er, here to confirm your property has been safely returned to you. And, er, to arrest your son for the mrder of Harry Markham and Agnes Browne. Reginald: I beg your pardon! Simon: What are you talking about? Reginald: That's complete nonsense! Simon: I didn't kll Markham. I had every reason to want him alive. Foyle: Well, that's right, erm, because he'd stolen that. Simon: Where's your proof? Foyle: Well, you are. On the day of the mrder, for example, it wasn't me you were looking for at, er, the Home Guard headquarters, it was him. Flashback to Simon arriving at the HQ. Harcourt: Running short of personnel, would you believe it? They need you to place a couple of men on the outskirts of the lower wood on the Greenwood Estate. Philby: Sir. Harcourt: It's to keep the public away. We can't have people wandering about where there's live ammniton. Philby: Right, sir. Simon: Oh, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Mr Walker. Simon: I was told you were here so I came to see you. I think I owe you an apology. Foyle (voiceover): I mean, you didn't even know I'd be there, which is why you were very surprised to see me, even though you tried to pretend you weren't. Er, you were looking for Markham Harcourt (offscreen): Mr Foyle. Foyle (voiceover): And Philby. Simon (offscreen): Philby! Foyle (voiceover): You persuaded Philby to put Markham on guard duty on your estate, so that you'd know exactly where he was, and that he'd be on his own. Philby: I'm just about to join my men. Foyle (voiceover): And, er, as an employee of yours, er, Philby felt obliged to do it. Greenwood Hall. Foyle: And since he's the one man who can implicate you in the death, erm, it's probably the reason he's not around at the moment. Where have you posted him? Reginald: He's at our American office. Simon: Markham was a thief. He stole from us, but I had no reason to kll him. Foyle: Well, and you didn't intend to, did you? Lots of games going on that afternoon. There were blanks and live ammniton used in the Home Guard exercise, and you used blanks and live ammniton in the game that, er, you were playing with Markham. Flashback to Harry smoking at the boundary point. Simon emerges from the trees and sh*t a blank towards him, making him flinch. Simon: Hello, Harry. Harry: Mr Walker. He goes for his rfle where he's left it propped up. Simon: I wouldn't do that if I were you. The last sht I fired at you was a blank. This one's real. Harry: What are you doing, Mr Walker? Simon: Russian roulette. That gives you a one in six chance. He fires another blank at Harry from close up. Harry yells and ducks away. Simon: Lucky. Harry: Bloody hell! Simon: The box you stole from my father's safe. I want to know where it is, and you're not gonna have too many chances to tell the truth. Harry: You're making a mistake. It wasn't me. Simon: This next bllet could be the one. Not just a bang, but the one. Harry: You won't do it. I never went anywhere near. You're making a mistake. Simon: Gambling man, are you, Harry? Harry: Ah, you're mad. Simon: Well, let's try again. He spins the chamber. Harry: Simon, please. Simon sh*t him through the head, then jerks back in surprise. Foyle (voiceover): You didn't mean to kll him, did you? He got the live round before you got the information. You'd rather have known where he'd hidden the box. Greenwood Hall. Foyle: Three shts, half a minute apart. Only one bllet hole because there was only one live bllet. The other two were blanks which produced the scorch marks on his face. Reginald turns to look at Simon. Reginald: Simon. Simon: I'm afraid it's true, Pa. Reginald: You klled him. Simon: It happened like he said. I didn't mean to. But I'm strong. I don't care what happens to me. The business will go on, and when the Germans win the wr we'll be remembered as heroes. Foyle: And it was also you who mrder Agnes Browne. Reginald: I will not listen to any more of this. Simon: Yes, I klled her. Flashback to Agnes in the office. Simon (voiceover): I heard her on the telephone, and, well, you know what happened. Agnes falls, screaming. Simon (voiceover): You see, that's what I learnt in Germany. Greenwood Hall. Simon: When someone gets in your way you have to act. That's the genius of htler. In a way, that makes him the greatest businessman of all. Foyle looks at Milner and nods him towards Simon. Milner: Mr Walker. He leads Simon out. Reginald: (Simon!) My God! He sits down. Foyle: Where's your wife? Reginald: She's left me. Foyle: Not much of a day for you, is it? Your wife. Your son. Your business. Reginald: My business? Foyle: D'you know what this is? Foyle looks over at the gold box. Reginald: It's a gift. Foyle: But do you know what it is? Reginald: It's solid gold, and it's a gift given to my company in recognition of successful trade relations. Foyle: A gift from whom? Reginald: The Office for Trade. Foyle: The German Office for Trade? Reginald: Yes. Foyle: And you didn't disclose the theft of it because? Reginald: Because my son did not declare it. It- he smuggled it into this country from Switzerland a few weeks ago. Foyle: Well, you're right. It is, er, solid gold. It hasn't been declared. Er, it certainly only came into the country recently. And it might well have come from the trade office, Sir Reginald, but it's first of all come through a department of the Third Reich called the Firmenverkehrsstelle, the property transfer office, which deals with and processes property acquired, er, by the nzi. Flashback to Foyle examining the box with a magnifying glass. Foyle (voiceover): Ah, this is a Jewish artefact, made in Frankfurt in the 18th Century by Jeremiah Sobel. Foyle walks along carrying the box. He brings it to a Jewish expert, who unwraps it. Foyle (voiceover): And until six weeks ago, it belonged to a family called the Rothenbergs, who used it as a prayer book holder. The expert speaks with Foyle. Foyle (voiceover): The family, all four of them, were sht. Greenwood Hall. Foyle: And their home looted by the nzi. And once it's generally known you're a beneficiary of this nzi reallocation of property, how long do you think you and your company have got? One or two things bigger than business, wouldn't you say? He turns to leave. Reginald: Aren't you going to arrest me? Foyle: Well, on behalf of a very dear friend of mine, I'd say it was no longer necessary. He leaves. Outside. Milner escorts a cuffed Simon into the back of the van as Foyle emerges from the house behind them. There's a g*n from inside the house. Foyle keeps on walking without looking back. Simon turns to try and get back out of the van, and Milner taps a policeman in passing as he heads back into the house. Milner: Hold onto him. Policeman: Sir. Simon: Father! Simon struggles to get back to the house. Policeman: In you get. Simon: Get your hands off of me. The van door slams. Foyle shakes his head a little, still without looking back. Simon (offscreen): Get your hands off of me. Father! Foyle nods to Sam and they both get into the car.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "02x03 - w*r Games"}	foreverdreaming
Outside Hailsham food depot, night. CAPTION: HAILSHAM OCTOBER 1940 Three men, Dan Parker, Len Holmes and Matthew Farley, are loading boxes into the back of a van. Len: Matthew. Dan: How many more? Matthew: We've got enough. Len: There's still more room in the van. Matthew: Forget it, Len, we've got plenty. I say we get out of here. Len: Are you scared? Matthew: Too bloody right, I'm scared. Dan: He's right, Len. We can come back. Len: One more load. Home Guard (offscreen): Halt! Who goes there? Matthew: Hell. Len: Move it! They shut the back doors of the van. As they run round to the front, a pair of Home Guards with rfles challenge them. Home Guard: Stop! Don't move. We're armed. Len: Come on! He opens the van door to get into the driver's seat. Home Guard: Stay where you are! He takes a sht at them and hits Matthew. Matthew: Ah! Dan! Dan reaches out from the passenger side to pull Matthew in. Len screeches away before he's even fully inside. Dan: Len! The Home Guard sh*t again, shattering the windscreen. Dan: Matthew! Len drives at the two Home Guards and they dive out of the way. Home Guard: Oi, move. Dan: He's been ht. Len: Shut up! He drives through a pair of wooden gates that aren't fully open, breaking them off at the hinges. The Home Guards watch them go. Home Guard 2: I think you ht him. The van screeches away. London. Air-raid sirens howl and bells ring as the bmb fall. CAPTION: LONDON - LATER THAT NIGHT Public shelter. People scream and duck as they hear bmb. Man: Oh! Oh. Children scream. Fowler (offscreen): It's madness. Colin Fowler sits, hunched over, talking half to himself. Fowler: It's madness. Nobody cares about us. 400 klled last night. 400 in the flames and the fre. Did you hear any ack-ack? He looks at the woman opposite, Deidre Simms, who's clutching her two children. Simms: Mh. Fowler: No, there wasn't any. They don't care. Another bmb hits somewhere close and people scream as brick dust rains down. Fowler: They're not down here, are they? Churchill and the rest of 'em. It's their wr but we're the ones who have to put up with it night after night after night. Simms: Come on, love. It's not that bad. There's another explsin and she ducks her head. Simms: Oh! Fowler: We're not going to win this wr. They pushed us out of Norway and France, now they're in Romania. Nobody can stop them. If we don't have a negotiated peace, we'll be crushed. We'll be destroyed. Woman: Oh, shut up! What do you know about it, anyway? Fowler: I do know. I'm with the police. I know what's happening. Simms: You could get into trouble talking like that. Man (offscreen): He's talking sedition. Simms: He doesn't mean it. Fowler: The Jerries have won and we might as well pack up. Woman (offscreen): Talk like that's not gonna help anyone. Fowler: I'm telling you. They don't want you to know but we've already lost. There's another bmb blast, and people scream. OPENING CREDITS Milner's office. Sam is searching in various drawers and filing cabinets as Milner enters. Milner: Have you found it yet? Sam: No. It must be in here somewhere. Milner: Sam? Is this what you're looking for? He holds up the distributor cap from the car. She rushes over to take it. Sam: Oh, where was it? Milner: In the kitchen in a biscuit tin. Sam: Of course. Thanks. She hurries out. A road in Hastings. Foyle is on board a coach. Sam screeches up behind the coach and overtakes it. Foyle spots her as she's passing them. Around the next corner Sam stops and parks the car. The coach pulls up behind it just as she's getting out. Foyle gets out of the coach with a suitcase. Foyle: Been here long? Sam: A few minutes, sir. He gives her a sidelong look as he approaches the car. Sam: It was the car. It was immobilised. Foyle: You mean you immobilised it? Sam: Well... yes. Following regulations. I left in a hurry last night and I'm afraid I forgot where I'd hidden the distributor cap. Sorry. Foyle: Least you got here. The two of them drive through the streets of Hastings. Sam: Bad luck about the train, sir. Foyle: Well, at least while they're bmb the railways they're sparing the houses. Sam: Mmm. So how was London? Foyle: Well, a quarter of a million homeless, er, civil administration almost non-existent, no builders, no materials for repairs. Rest centres are overcrowded, not enough mobile canteens and in the shelters there's anything up to 300 people using as little as two latrines. Sam: What about the voluntary services? Foyle: Well, they're doing a great job, but if you've got 500 tons of bmb being dropped per night there's only a certain amount they can do. There's too many dad and dying. Sam: Do you think it's going to get as bad as that down here, sir? Foyle: God forbid. Barn. The van from the robbery is parked inside. Dan leans over the injured Matthew where he's lying on a pile of hay. Dan: It's all right, Matthew. Matthew: Where's Len? Dan: I don't know. He said he'd be here. Matthew: I want a doctor. His shirt is soaked with blood and he's shivering. Dan: And he'll get you a doctor. How is it? Matthew: I can't feel anything. Dan: That's good. That's good, isn't it? You don't really want to feel any pain. D'you want something to eat? We've got, er, tinned salmon, tinned peaches, chocolate. You wouldn't believe half the stuff we've got in here. There's 50 quid's worth of sugar. Len said we'd get 100 quid for it, 200 even. It's like Ali Baba's cave. Matthew: I want a doctor. Dan: And he's going to get you a doctor. Hey, look at me. You're gonna be fine. Okay? Police station. A phone is ringing as Foyle and Sam walk through the lobby. Milner joins them. Milner: Hello, sir. Foyle: Milner. Milner: Good to have you back. Foyle: Thank you. Busy? Milner: Not a lot going on, sir. bmb fell on a cemetery in Upperton. Nobody klled but a few dad bodies. Foyle: Old ones are always the best, eh? Milner: And there was a break-in at a food depot just outside Hailsham yesterday. A Home Guard opened fre on three men in a van. May have ht one of them. They pass a couple of men being escorted out by a uniformed officer. Foyle: Who are they? Milner: Bird-watchers. Came over from Bristol looking for rare birds. Sam: Twitchers? Why were they arresting them? Milner: They were selling them as meat. They arrive at Foyle's office. Foyle: Business as usual, then. Milner: Yes, sir. There is something else. Er, there's a Kate Farley here, says her son has gone missing. Police interview room. Foyle and Milner are talking to Kate Farley. Kate: It's not like him. Not to stop out all night. I mean, he'd let me know and... and when he didn't come home this morning, I... Foyle: When did he go out? Kate: I couldn't tell you. I'm at the factory all hours. Sometimes I don't get home until after ten. Foyle: Well, listen, your son's, er, been missing less than 24 hours. Why are you worried about him so soon? Kate: He's been keeping the wrong kind of company. He's got this friend. Two of as are thick as thieves. Now Daniel's a bit of no good. I knew something bad would happen. I told Matthew, but... Foyle: Daniel...? Kate: Parker. The two of them do odd jobs together at Brookfield Court. You heard of it? Foyle: Remind me. Kate: Everyone in the village knows about Brookfield Court. It's a big place and they've turned it into a sort of guesthouse. Guests is one word for it. Foyle: What's another? Kate: It's not for me to say but... I wish my boy had never set foot in that place. Police station corridors. Foyle and Milner are walking along. Foyle: You gonna look into this? Milner: Yes, sir. I'll start with Brookfield Court. Foyle: I should. Let me know. Milner: Sir. Brookfield Court. Two men, Blake Hardiman and Max Joseph, are playing tennis. Max: Ha! Blake: Here. Max: Argh! He runs up to the net and drops to the grass. Blake laughs. Max: Too old for this. Blake: Oh, nonsense. Not at all. No. You were, er, you were unlucky. Max: What's the score? Blake: 30-40. They look up as a group of Spitfires fly overhead. Blake: Right. Your serve. Yep, come on. As they continue playing, Amanda Reece crosses the grass hugging a stack of books. A dog barks and runs towards her. His owner, Jane Hardiman, follows. Jane: Charlie. Come here. Come to heel. The dog ignores her, running up to Reece barking. Reece: Oh, go away. Go on, go away. Ugh! Have I told you I loathe dogs? Jane: Yes, Miss Reece. Many times. Reece: One of the few animals in creation for which there appears to be no apparent reason. If I'd known Mrs Powell took dogs, I'd have thought twice before coming. Jane: I wish you had, Miss Reece. There's the sound of a car approaching. The gardener, Peter, looks over as he wheels his barrow away. Sam and Milner arrive and park nearby. Sam: I hope you're not going to leave me by the car. Mr Foyle always does. Milner gets out and she follows. Sam: Quite a place. Milner: How the other half live! You wouldn't think there's a wr on. Inside. Frank Vaudrey is making a tower of cards as Milner enters through the front door. Milner: Excuse me, sir. Vaudrey: Shh. He carefully lets go of the cards. Vaudrey: Who are you? Milner: The name's Milner. I'm a detective sergeant with Hastings Police. Vaudrey: Police? Why? What do you want? Milner: I'm looking for the owner. Vaudrey: Mrs Powell, through there. Milner: Thank you. Outside, Sam approaches the summerhouse. Reece is at work on a typewriter inside. Sam knocks on the open door. Sam: Hello. Writing? Reece: Yes, that's what it would look like, wouldn't it? Or trying to. Sam: Oh. Sorry. Are you a novelist? Reece: I'm a journalist. I write articles for magazines. Sam: I wouldn't have thought there was much to write about here. Reece: Well, you'd be wrong. She goes back to her writing and Sam leaves. Kitchen. Milner is speaking with Wendy Powell as she shells peas. Wendy: I haven't seen Matthew Farley for a couple of days now, Mr Milner. Or Daniel Parker. I have to say, though, they're very close so if you find one, you'll probably find the other. Milner: They both work here? Wendy: Occasionally. Parker works in the kitchen. Odd jobs, that sort of thing. Matthew helps out in the garden. Milner: You have two gardeners? Wendy: It's a big garden. Er, Matthew lives with his mother in Hastings. If you want to talk to Parker, I suggest you try the village. He has a room above the shop. A bell rings in another room. Malcolm (offscreen): Edith? Wendy: Oh, will you excuse me? That's my husband. Lounge. Malcolm sits at a side table in his wheelchair. Malcolm: Who is it? Wendy: It's a police officer, Malcolm. He's with me now. Milner: Detective Sergeant Milner, sir. Hastings Police. Malcolm: What do you want? Milner: Er, we're looking for a young man, Matthew Farley. He's been reported missing. Wendy: Dan Parker's friend. Malcolm: Well, Parker is a good-for-nothing, and his friend is a layabout. Wendy: We don't have a great deal of choice. Getting help of any sort isn't very easy these days. Milner: How many guests do you have staying here, Mrs Powell? Wendy: Er, we have six. Mr and Mrs Joseph, Mr and Mrs Hardiman. Er, Amanda Reece, she's a writer, and Mr Vaudrey is our most recent arrival. Milner: And are they staying long? Wendy: All our guests are... here for the duration. Milner: Well, would you let me know if either Matthew or his friend come back? Malcolm: They're both louts. That's the generation we fought the wr for. It was waste of time. Don't know why we bothered. Outside. Wendy leads Milner out into the grounds. Wendy: My husband lost his sight in the wr. It was a mustard gas attck at Ypres. Milner: I'm sorry. Wendy: It was the wr to end all wars, that's what we thought and... now here we are again. Gardens. Sam approaches Peter where he's digging in a flowerbed. Sam: Hello. Do you work here? Peter: Yes, that's right. Sam: Weeding. Peter: That's what it looks like. Who are you? Sam: Sam Stewart. I'm with the police. Peter: What are you doing here? Sam: We're looking for someone. He's gone missing. Peter: Gone missing from where? Sam: Home, I suppose. Name of Matthew Farley, do you know him? Peter: No. Never heard of him. Sam: Well, that's funny, because he works here too. Peter: Well, I keep myself to myself. I prefer it that way. Sam: Mmm. Pentstemon. Peter: What? Sam: That plant you've just dug up. It's a pentstemon. It's a flower not a weed. My father does a lot of gardening. He's a vicar. Peter: Bully for him. He goes back to his digging. The two tennis players are walking back from the court. Blake approaches Milner. Blake: I heard an interesting rumour that you're a police officer. Milner: Who told you that, sir? Blake: Ah, well, you can't sneeze in this place without somebody noticing. Milner: Saw you playing tennis just now. Blake: Oh, yes, yes. With, um, Max Joseph. Well, he's a Jew but, um, not a bad sort. Are you, er... Are you here for any reason in particular? Milner: Yes. I'm looking for Matthew Farley. Blake: Oh. The odd-job boy. Yes, I haven't seen him recently. Erm, but listen, if you've got a moment or two you might want to check out Frank Vaudrey. Mmm. Have you got that? R-E-Y. Came down from London recently. Milner: Check him out for what, sir? Blake: Well, don't ask me to do your job for you, old boy. I'm only trying to help. He walks away. Milner rejoins Sam at the car. Sam: Friendly sort, aren't they? Milner: Just get me out of here, would you, Sam? Sam: With pleasure. Hardiman bedroom. Jane: Well, how was tennis? Blake: Three sets to none. Jane: You really should let him win now and then. Blake: Goes against the grain. I've just been speaking to the police. Jane: Yes, I heard they were here. Blake: I told them to check up on our friend Vaudrey. Jane: Did you? Blake: Mmm. Interesting to see what they come up with. Jane: I'm not sure that was a good idea. Blake: What, a fiver out of your purse? And those cufflinks were Cartier. Jane: You don't know it was him. Blake: He doesn't fit in here. Besides, it only started after he arrived. Jane: You're such a snob. Blake: What, and you aren't? Foyle's office. Milner and Sam have returned to report in. Foyle: What do you think? Milner: It's a funk hole, sir. Foyle: I'd agree with you. Sam: What's a funk hole? Foyle: It's, um, a sort of hiding place for, er, people with more money than conscience who want to buy their way out of the wr. There are hotels and guesthouses just like Brookfield Court tucked away all over the country. Some were taking reservations, erm, on the day that the Germans invde Poland. Brookfield Court is advertising in the local press. He hands her a newspaper. Sam: Brookfield Court. A haven for the sensitive and artistic seeking comfort in a secluded and quiet location. Milner: Out of harm's way. Sam: Cowards. They can't do that, can they? Foyle: Nobody to stop them. D'you find anything? Milner: Er, no sign of Farley or Parker, sir. But one of the guests suggested I look into a man called Frank Vaudrey who's also staying there. Foyle: Did he say why? Milner: No, but I've sent a routine enquiry up to Scotland Yard. Sam: Oh, and you should ask about the gardener while you're at it. Foyle's phone starts to ring. Foyle: Why's that? Sam: Well, he knew nothing about gardening, I can tell you that. Foyle: Well, anyway, listen, er, Matthew Farley might well have turned up by now. Get on to his mother again, would you? Milner: Yes, sir. He leaves and Foyle answers the phone. Foyle: Yes. He stands up. Foyle: Where is he? I'll be there right away. He hangs up. Foyle: Sam. He moves to leave. Sam and Foyle are driving along. Sam: How bad is it, sir? Foyle: They didn't say. Sam: Well, at least he's still in one piece. Foyle: They didn't say that either. They arrive at Hastings Royal Infirmary. Foyle opens the door before Sam's finished parking and hurries up the steps. Hospital ward. Andrew Foyle is sitting in a wheelchair with his right arm in a sling, the right side of his face badly grazed. Foyle arrives. Foyle: Andrew. Andrew: Dad. Foyle: You all right? Andrew: Not too bad. Foyle: Shouldn't you be in bed? Andrew: I couldn't stand being cooped up. Have you seen the quack? Foyle: No, I saw one of the nurses. How bad is it? Andrew: Well, I've hurt my arm and... a few cuts and bruises, but I'll live. Foyle sits down. Foyle: What happened? Andrew: It was fog. Couple of hundred feet of it. Couldn't see the ground. Foyle: I thought you'd been sht down. Andrew: No. Couldn't find the aerodrome so I tried to find a field. But they all had poles stuck in or ditches, you know, anti-invasion. In the end I ran out of fuel so I had to come down in the drink. The plane flipped over and... this happened. In a way I was lucky. Thought I'd bought it. Foyle: What happens now then? Andrew: I get a week's crash leave. So it looks like I can come home. Police headquarters, London. Collier (voiceover): Thank you for agreeing to see me, sir. Rose: You're talking about Foyle, for heaven's sake. Christopher Foyle. Chief Inspector James Collier is walking through the building with Assistant Commissioner Rose. Collier: Yes, sir. Rose: Are you sure there's no mistake? Collier: Well, that was my first assumption, sir, of course. That's why I double-checked everything before I came to you. Rose: Have you spoken to anyone else? Collier: No, sir. Rose: Quite right. The two of them enter Rose's office. Rose: Foyle's a first-class detective who's running the entire south coast. If there's any truth in this, it'd be nothing short of catastrophic. Collier: Are you saying... Are you saying you want me to bury the investigation, sir? Rose: No, no, of course not, we can't do that. But was he in London? Collier: He came up for a conference. Directorate of Emergency Works. Rose: Oh, yeah, I was there. I didn't meet him. Collier: No, he stayed near St Paul's, sir. That's less than a mile from where the incident took place. Rose: This was a public shelter. Collier: We have witness statements. Er, they all gave accurate descriptions. One of them even confirmed his name. Rose: No, this is madness. I don't believe this. I don't believe any of it. Collier: Sir, if I may... Rose: Go on. Collier: I don't think this is as serious as it seems. wr does different things to different people. It's almost impossible to know how anyone's going to react. Now, DCS Foyle, he's a good man, but he's had absolutely no experience of what the Germans have been throwing at us in the capital. I'd have said it would have been perfectly understandable if he'd been caught up in his first major raid and panicked. Rose: Panicked? That's not what we're talking about, Collier, you know that. Collier: But, sir- Rose: We're talking about sedition. Spreading alarm and despondency is a very serious breach of defence regulations. Only last week there was a woman, GPO telephone operator, fined £25 for spreading the rumour that German parachutists had landed in Kent. This is worse. Much, much worse. Collier: What do you want me to do, sir? Rose: I want him suspended from duties and an investigation launched. Collier: With respect, sir, I don't think that's fair. Rose: Fair? Collier: There may be extenuating circumstances. Rose: No, no, we can't make exceptions, Collier. You know that as well as I do. Collier: But in this case, sir, I suggest we do. Let me go down to Hastings and sort this out. Rose: We must do this by the book. Collier: Yes, sir. Barn. Dan returns to the building. Dan: Matt, I've brought you some... He stops as he sees Matthew lying still and staring sightlessly. He runs back out of the building. Foyle house, morning. Andrew is at the table, arm still in a sling. Foyle watches him struggle to butter a slice of toast one-handed. Foyle: Want me to do that? Been a while since I did. Andrew: No, thanks. Actually, I'm not very hungry. Sorry. Foyle: Don't be. What you gonna to do today? Andrew: Haven't really thought. Foyle: Well, erm, sitting around, erm, moping on your own isn't going to do a lot of good, is it? Andrew: I'll be all right. I've got the wireless. I can read. Foyle: Arm all right? Andrew: Not too bad. Foyle: Why don't you get somebody over? That, um, Douglas fellow? Andrew: He died. Foyle: (Right.) Andrew: Went down in the Channel. Foyle: Sorry. Andrew: Douglas, Rex... I don't really have many friends left. Foyle: Listen- Andrew: Don't worry about me, Dad. I'm just feeling sorry for myself. If you want the truth, the arm hurts like... Foyle: Well, look, I don't have to go in. I could take the day off. We could do something. Andrew: You haven't taken a day off in twenty years. Foyle: Always a first time. Andrew: No. I'll be all right. I'll be fine. Sam and Foyle are driving along. Sam: Everything all right, sir? Foyle: Yes, thanks. No, not really. Er, just wondering if, um... you doing anything this evening? Sam: You asking me out, sir? Foyle: Steady on, Miss Stewart. Certainly not. No. I'm just thinking about, erm, Andrew. Er... Sam: Is he all right? Foyle: No. Well, I don't know. Er, I'm just a bit worried about him. He's not himself at the moment because of this accident, and I thought... maybe, erm, do him a bit of good to get out a bit. Sam: You mean... with me? Foyle: Well, no, no, no. Well, no, I, er, er- Sam: A drive in the countryside, something like that? Foyle: Perfect. Yes, er... Sam: Although you know we shouldn't use up too much fuel, sir. Foyle: No, no. No, of course not. I mean, not too far. I mean, just, erm, a breath of fresh air, change of scenery. Sam: Be a pleasure, sir. Foyle: Thank you. Collier's car arrives outside a fancy hotel and the doorman opens the car door for him. Collier hands some money to his driver. Collier: Thanks. He heads inside. Hotel lobby. Collier approaches the receptionist. Collier: Good afternoon. Receptionist: Good afternoon, sir. Collier: My name's James Collier. I telephoned from London. Hotel room. Collier tips the bellhop for bringing his suitcase in for him. Collier: Thanks very much. Bellhop: Thank you, sir. He leaves. Collier opens his suitcase. The first thing he takes out is a photo of two women that he sets on his nightstand. Foyle's office. Foyle: Er, this break-in in Hailsham. The place is less than a mile from Brookfield Court. Milner is sitting across from him. Milner: Just the other side of the wood. Foyle: Coincidence? Three men, one of them sht, and a van. Milner: Still no sign of Matthew Farley. I spoke to his mother this morning. Foyle: Both he and Daniel Parker work at Brookfield Court, right? Milner: Mmm. Foyle: And you say Daniel Parker's got a room with... Milner: Leonard Holmes, who runs the village shop. Foyle: Right. And, er, with everybody buying under the counter these days... Milner: If you want to distribute stolen food... Foyle: Exactly. Leonard Holmes's shop. Len comes out from the back in a butcher's apron. Wendy Powell is at the head of a long queue of shoppers, which also includes Kate Farley. Len: All right, ladies, wait your turn. I'll be with you in a moment. You are in luck, Mrs Powell. Nice bit of liver. Last of the meat. Want me to wrap it up for you to take home? Wendy: You can't deliver, Mr Holmes? Len: Not at the moment. Trouble with the van. Kate steps forward. Kate: Excuse me. Len: Mrs Farley. Kate: Is there no more meat? Len: Sorry, Mrs, you should've got here earlier. Kate: Well, I've been queuing for half an hour. Wendy goes to leave. Wendy: Excuse me. Kate: It's not fair. I've lived in this village all my life and so's my son, and then you come and you take everything for people who aren't even from round here. Wendy: I haven't not done any wrong. All my guests are registered at this shop. Len nods. Kate: Guests? That's one word for them. Len: Ooh, come on now, ladies. Kate: Well, they're cowards, all of them. They're just hiding from the wr just 'cause they can afford it. And, you, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Making money out of 'em. Len: Look, I might have a couple of sausages out the back. Kate: Oh, why don't you give her the sausages and leave us with the food we want to eat? Wendy: Please, let me pass. I want to go home. Kate: That's it. Go back to your rotten funk hole, then. Our men are fighting this wr and if they knew it was for people like you they wouldn't bother. Dan enters the shop through the back door. Dan: Len. Len: What d'you want? Barn. Len checks Matthew's body for a pulse. Dan: Is he? Len stands up. Len: Course he is, you daft sod. He's dad as mutton. Dan: God! Len: Pull yourself together, Dan, all right? This wasn't our fault. We didn't sh*t him. Dan: No. But we were there. Len: Nobody knows that. There's nothing to connect either of us with him. Dan: Okay, what do we do? Len: We've got to get him out of here, that's for sure. We'll bury him in the wood. Dan: What? Len: What else can we do? You want to call out the local vicar and ask for a Christian burial? Dan: What about his mother? She doesn't even know. Len: We've got no choice. We'll put him in the wood. Dan: You never said anyone was gonna get hurt, Len. Len: How was I to know? Now, you, pull yourself together! Go and get a spade. Dan turns to go. Police interview room. Home Guard: There's not much more I can tell you, sir. It's all in my report. There were three of them. I challenged them to stop. They refused, so I opened fre. Milner and Foyle are both there to question him. Foyle: D'you see any of them? Home Guard: No. Not clearly. Foyle: But you're fairly certain you, er, ht one of them? Home Guard: Yes, sir, I'm afraid so. I feel bad about that. Foyle: No, not at all. Just doing your duty. Home Guard: Yes, sir, I know. Foyle: Well, what makes you, er, so sure you ht him? Home Guard: He shouted out, sir. Milner: What did he say? Home Guard: I think he swore, sir. "Damn!" or something. Milner: Damn? "Dan", perhaps? Someone's name? Home Guard: Well, I couldn't be sure, sir. Brookfield Court. Wendy is coming back on her bicycle. Peter, working in the gardens, takes his hat off and approaches her, but she moves on without speaking to him. Kitchen. Dan Parker is cleaning the oven as Wendy comes in. Wendy: Parker? What are you doing here? Dan: I thought you wanted the stove cleaned, Mrs Powell. Wendy: That was three days ago. Where have you been? Dan: In and out. Wendy: Well, that's not true. The police were looking for you. Dan: And what did you tell them? Wendy: I told them I hadn't seen you. Dan: But I was here on Wednesday evening. Wendy: No, you weren't. Dan: You see, I think your memory's playing you false again, Mrs Powell, 'cause I was definitely here. You and me, we look out for each other, don't we? Wendy: I don't know what you're talking about. Dan: You know, since I've worked here, I've got to know one or two things, haven't I? But I keep my mouth shut and I get on with my job, just like I was doing on Wednesday evening. Do you know what I mean? Foyle house. There's a knock on the front door and Andrew goes to answer it. Andrew: Sam. Sam: Hello. Andrew: Dad not with you? Sam: No. He's working late. Andrew: So, what are you... Sam: Well, er, he mentioned you were on your own at home and I was, erm, I'm just on my way to have tea and I was wondering if you wanted to join me. Andrew: For tea? Sam: Yes. I've, I've got the car. Andrew: Um, that's very kind of you, Sam, but I'm not hungry. Sam: Oh. Well, you can sit and watch me eat because I'm absolutely starving. Andrew: Come on, Andrew. I'm likely to get a decent portion if I'm seen with an airman. Anyway, I hate eating on my own. Seafront café. Andrew is sitting with Sam as she eats. Sam: Don't you want a sandwich? Andrew: I'm not hungry. Sam: I'm always hungry. Don't know that I'm going to do if the rationing gets any worse. I'm having to put treacle in my tea. It tastes quite disgusting, and it goes sort of black so it looks disgusting too. What's the food like in the RAF? Andrew: So-so. Sam: It's frightful bad luck coming down the way you did. Andrew: I don't know. I got a week's leave. Sam: That's true. Funny. We've never really got a chance to sit down together. What happened to that girl you were seeing? Andrew: We broke up. Sam: Oh. I'm sorry to hear it. So you're all on your own. Are you sure you won't have one? Andrew: No. Sam: These sandwiches would be an awful lot better if they put something inside them. You must be having an awful time. Andrew: What makes you say that? Sam: I've seen the dogfights over the Channel. And, of course, I listen to the wireless. I can't imagine what it must be like. You've no idea how proud we all are of you. Andrew: Is that why you invited me out to tea? Sam: No. I just didn't like the idea of you moping in the house on your own. Andrew: Moping? Sam: Yes. Andrew: That's the word my father used. Sam: Is it? Andrew: Did he put you up to this? Sam: No. Not exactly. Andrew: He's worried about me so he sends a girl along to cheer me up. Sam: I'm not a girl. I am, but I'm not just a girl. Andrew: You're a police driver doing what she's been told to do. Sam: No. Andrew: I can't believe my father. Treating me like a child. And what makes you think you've got the right to play with me as though I've hurt my arm and need cheering up? Sam: That's not fair. Andrew: "You've no idea how proud we all are of you." Well, you don't have to be proud of us, Sam. Because it's bloody. And it's horrible. We're only doing it for the same reason as everyone else, because we have to. But the simple fact is I just want to be left on my own. And if Dad thinks he can just use you like some sort of nanny, you can tell him to forget it. Sam: That's not how it is. That's a horrid thing to say. Andrew stands up. Andrew: Here. Let me pay for tea. He drops some money on the table. Andrew: Forgive me if I don't join you but, as I already said, I'm not hungry. I'll make my own way home. Brookfield Court. Wendy is walking through the hallway and runs into Vaudrey. Vaudrey: Mrs Powell. I wonder if I might have a word with you. Wendy: Yes, Mr Vaudrey. Vaudrey: Well, it's, it's, it's about the rations. I don't like to complain but... lunch today. Wendy: We are doing what we can, Mr Vaudrey. Vaudrey: I'm beginning to wonder, frankly, if some guests aren't benefitting at the expense of others. Wendy: I can assure you, Mr Vaudrey, that all the food is scrupulously portioned. Vaudrey: Well, I have some experience of administration and I have to say I question that. Wendy: All I can say, Mr Vaudrey, is if you don't like it here, you can always leave. Now, if you will excuse me. She walks on. Lounge. Blake brings Max Joseph a drink. Blake: Voila. Max: Mmm. Blake: Ah. Well, chin-chin. They clink glasses. Max: Cheers. Blake: Mmm. Ah. Have you, er, have you thought any more about my proposition? Max: I don't know. Blake: Well, we don't want to leave it too late. I mean, erm, who's to say how much longer the wr will go on? Max: Could be years. Blake: Could be weeks. Look, take my word for it, Max. There are weaving mills all over the country going under. It's shortage of men. We buy them cheap, we keep them ticking over. At the end of the wr we'll make a fortune. Max: I need to think a bit more. Blake: Fine, you think all you like. But textiles are my business. It's your finance, my expertise. Nothing can stop us. Ah. Kitchen. Wendy is preparing vegetables when Peter comes in. Wendy: You shouldn't be here. Peter: I had to see you. Wendy: No. Peter: I had to. I can't just... work out there, pretending I- Wendy: This is wrong. Peter: You want me to leave? Wendy: No. Someone saw us together. Peter: Who? Wendy: Daniel Parker. He saw us and he tried to thrat me. Peter: I can deal with him. Wendy: How? Peter: I don't know, I'll- Wendy: How did I get myself into this? Peter: I've made things more difficult for you, haven't I? Look, I should never have come here. Wendy: No, I can't bear to lose you. I can't bear being so close to you and having to pretend. The two of them hug. The door opens and Malcolm comes in. Malcolm: Wendy? Wendy and Peter let go of each other and hold still. Malcolm: Who were you talking to? Wendy: Nobody. Malcolm: Thought I heard someone. Wendy: No one. I, I, I'm just preparing dinner. He backs out and leaves. Outside, Jane Hardiman is walking her dog. Jane: Come on, Charlie. Ten minutes before supper. Charlie. Go on. She lets him off the lead and he runs on ahead. Jane: Charlie! Vaudrey watches her from the window. Summerhouse. Amanda Reece is reread her article aloud. Reece: "The child had terrible burns. The building that had once been his home was still burning behind him. I held his hand. The doctor..." Terrible burns... Terrible injuries. Dreadful injuries. She makes an alteration to the manuscript. Jane (offscreen): Charlie! Outside. Jane has reached the trees at the edge of the wood. She looks around, and then goes over to one of the trees. She pulls down a bag hidden up in the branches, looks at the contents and smiles. Then she goes back to looking for the dog. Jane: Charlie! Where are you? Up above, Vaudrey is still watching her from the window. Woods. Charlie runs down a bank, barking. Jane: Charlie. Charlie digs at the earth, growling. Jane: Charlie! She heads down the bank after him. Down below, Charlie's digging uncovers a human hand. Jane catches up and sees the body. Police station. Milner comes out of his office as Foyle is walking past. Foyle: You hear a body's been found in the woods near Brookfield Court? Milner: Farley? Foyle: A bllet in the back as far as they can see. You should, um, see Mrs Farley, prepare her for the worst. They step through into the reception area. Collier is waiting by the front desk. Collier: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Yeah. I know you, don't I? Collier: We have met. Foyle: Yeah. Collier. Inspector, Scotland Yard? Collier: Chief Inspector now. Foyle: Erm... Sergeant Milner. Collier: How do you do? Milner: How do you do, sir? Foyle: Er, got us at a bad moment, I'm afraid. We're in the middle of something, just about to leave. Collier: I'm afraid not, Mr Foyle. I'm suspending you from duty, pending investigation under Section 39A of the Defence and Regulations Act. It's "causing disaffection or influencing public opinion". Foyle: What are you talking about? Collier: Well, er, can we, erm... Can we not discuss this, erm, somewhere private? Foyle: You can say what you've got to say here. Collier: You were in London two days ago. Foyle: Yes. Collier: The offence took place at a public air-raid shelter on Whitechapel Road. Foyle: Nowhere near the Whitechapel Road. Milner: With respect, sir, this is ridiculous. Foyle: Yeah, can't this wait? Collier: No, Mr Foyle, I'm afraid it can't. Police interview room. Collier sits at the table listening to Foyle. Foyle: This is rubbish. You know it and I know it. Yes, I was in London. I was there on police business, but I was not in any public air-raid shelter, and the suggestion I'd do anything against Defence regulations is ridiculous. Collier: I want to believe you. but there are witness descriptions, statements, the works. Foyle: Can I see them? Collier: If I'd had my way we'd have done all this quietly. A quick investigation, in and out, clear you and be done with it. But the Assistant Commissioner insisted. Foyle: Rose, is it? Took over from Summers? Collier: Yes. He's on secondment to the Home Office and the Ministry of Home Security and he wants this done by the book. Foyle: Yeah, I bet. Collier: Confined to Hastings and there's to be no further communication between you and this station until the investigation's completed. Foyle: Right. Well, there's a dad man and about £500 worth of stolen food out there. What do you suggest I do about that? Collier: Well, I'm sure that your sergeant is perfectly capable. And, and I know it's a little, er, unorthodox but I persuaded Rose to let me stand in for the next few days. So, er, what's his name, Milner, er, can report directly to me. Foyle: A few days? Collier: As long as it takes. Sam and Milner are driving along. Sam: They can't really arrest Mr Foyle, can they? Milner: Well, they're suspending him from duty while they investigate. Sam: Spreading sedition in London? Never heard anything so ridiculous. After a moment she looks over at Milner. Sam: What exactly is sedition? Woods. Milner lifts the sheet covering Matthew's body. Sam is there along with a uniformed officer and the Home Guard from the depot. Milner: A single sht to the back. Home Guard: I didn't know it was just a boy. I warned him. I said I was going to fre but he didn't listen. Milner: Has his mother identified him? Home Guard: Yes, sir. Milner heads over to where Kate Farley is standing nearby, in tears. Kate: Nineteen years of age. What am I going to tell his father? All over Europe, young men laying down their lives. This wr. Matthew gets himself sht in the back for stealing. Daniel Parker put him up to this. Matthew was a good boy. You talk to Parker. He's the one what ruined my boy. Leonard Holmes's shop. Milner's there speaking to Len. Len: Dan? He's not here. He's at work. Ha. Not in any trouble, is he? Milner: Can you tell me anything about a friend of his, Matthew Farley? Len: Matthew? Yes, I met him a couple of times. Dan's got a room here and, er, Matthew used to come round now and then. Quiet sort of lad. Never said very much. Milner: I'd be interested to know why you're talking about him in the past tense, Mr Holmes. Len: Because it's been a couple of weeks since I last saw him. Well, that's the past, isn't it? Why? Are you saying something's happened to him? Milner: He's been sht. Len: That's bad luck. Milner: You must do a lot of deliveries. Is that your bike outside? Len: Yes. Yes, it is. Milner: You don't have a van? Len: I do have a van. What I don't have is petrol. Milner: Dan Parker's at work, you say? Len: Brookfield Court. He left about an hour ago. Milner: Thank you. He leaves. Brookfield Court. Dan is chopping logs in the grounds when Milner arrives. Milner: Daniel Parker? Dan: That's me. Milner: Sergeant Milner, Hastings Police. I was here a couple of days ago. I wanted to speak to you. Dan: Here I am. You can speak to me now. Milner: You know Matthew Farley? Dan: Uh-huh. Haven't seen him in a while though, how is he? Milner: He's dad. Dan: Is he? Milner: You don't seem very upset. Dan: A lot of people are dying these days, you get used to it. Milner: Why haven't you been called up? Dan: Flat feet. How about you? Milner: When was the last time you saw Matthew? Dan: Er, a couple of weeks ago. Milner: That's not what his mother says. Dan: Then you should speak to his mother. He goes to walk away and Milner grabs him by the front of his shirt. Milner: I'm talking to you, Parker. We'll find out where you hid the food you stole and we'll find out who you were with, and you'll end up in jail doing hard labour. In fact, it was a Ministry of Food warehouse you broke into, so we might even be able to get you hanged. Think about it. He leaves and Dan picks up his axe again. Street outside Foyle's house. Andrew is walking back with a newspaper. A uniformed police officer walks past the front door, watching him as he lets himself in. Inside. Andrew sees his father going through some papers. He's dressed in more casual clothes than he wears to work. Andrew: Dad, what are you doing home? Foyle: Yeah, well. Some imbecile's got the wrong end of the stick. I've been suspended from duty. Andrew: What are you meant to have done? Foyle: Seditious behaviour in an air-raid shelter, would you believe? Total rubbish, of course. Anyway, couple of Scotland Yard officers made a complete cockup of things. Andrew: Well, are you under house arrest? Foyle: Not exactly. Andrew: Well, I saw a constable lurking outside. Foyle: Oh, he's still there, is he? Andrew: Yeah. So, looks like we'll be stuck here together. Foyle: Yeah. Sorry about that. Andrew: That's all right. Glad to have you here. Foyle: Oh, really? Well, I heard about your meeting with Sam. Andrew: Yes, well, if you don't mind my saying, Dad, it was a bit presumptuous of you to set that up. Foyle: Presumptuous? All I did was ask her to get you out of the house 'cause I thought the change'd do you good. She drives, I don't. Tea was her idea. Andrew: I don't need anyone's pity. Foyle: Well, that's abundantly clear. Anyway, I thought it was very nice of her and now she's really upset. And God knows I know what you've been through and how you're feeling at the moment, but it's absolutely no excuse for being thoroughly boorish and totally bloody rude, frankly. Andrew: What? I didn't mean to upset her. Was she really... Foyle: Yes, she really was. Andrew: Well, I'm sorry. Maybe I wasn't thinking straight. Foyle: Well, wouldn't be the first time. Foyle's office. Collier is reading a report. Collier: It's a very thorough report, Sergeant Milner. Milner: Thank you, sir. I think we should arrest Holmes and Parker. Collier: Well, I'm not sure that you've got enough evidence for that. Milner: The bllet that klled Farley was from a Lee-Enfield, which is what the Home Guard were carrying. And we believe that he shouted out, "Dan!" when he was sht. Collier: Dan, as in Dan Parker? Milner: Yes. Collier: Could have been, "Damn!" Could have been an oath. Sorry, Sergeant, it's very intuitive. Don't think it's enough. Right. He stands up. Collier: It's late. I'm going back to my hotel. Care for a drink? Milner: Yes. The two of them walk along the seafront together Collier: It's so quiet down here. He chuckles. Collier: Very different. Milner: To London? Collier: Well, the Germans come night after night and there are whole areas... You wouldn't believe the damage. Of course, they've targeted the docks, but they've also ht the zoo, the Tower of London, Madame Tussauds. We had bits of waxwork all over Baker Street. The BBC a couple of times. And last week it was the Natural History Museum. You never know what's going to be next. But I'll tell you the interesting thing. Doesn't matter what they throw at us, people are still up for work the next morning. Climbing over the rubble if need be. Milner: Do you have family in London, sir? Collier: No. You were in the army? Milner: Yes. Norway. Collier: You know, I sometimes think the worst thing about this wr is that it's never really going to be over. Because even when the fighting stops, people won't be the same. How can we go through all this klling and destruction and not come out of it different? How can we pretend we haven't changed? Hotel lounge. Collier brings back beers for him and Milner. Milner: This is very kind of you, sir. Collier: No, I appreciate your joining me. I'm well aware this situation can't be easy for you. Cheers. Milner: Cheers. They clink glasses. Milner: You don't really believe that Mr Foyle is guilty of the charge, do you, sir? Collier: I don't want to believe it, of course not. Milner: He wouldn't say anything out of line. Collier: Your loyalty does you credit, but you can't know because you weren't there. Milner: I know him. Collier: wr does different things to different people. Now, tell me about Brookfield Court. Milner: Sir? Collier: Well, the body was found more or less in the grounds, it's near the depot where the food was stolen, Dan Parker works there and you made an inquiry about one of the guests. A London county councillor, Frank Vaudrey. Milner: Yes, one of the other guests was suspicious about him. Collier: Well, that... He chuckles. Collier: It seems to me Brookfield Court should be right at the heart of your investigation. Why don't we pay it a visit tomorrow? Take a look around. Milner: Yes, sir. Collier: Good. Brookfield Court. Blake catches up to Vaudrey on the landing. Blake: Vaudrey! Have you been in my room? Vaudrey: What are you talking about? Jane comes out of the room behind Blake. Blake: Well, I'm talking about a gold cigarette case which I left on my dresser and it's not there now. Jane: Blake, darling! Blake: You were the last one down to breakfast. Vaudrey: I think you should be careful what you're saying. Blake: Cufflinks, money and now the cigarette case, mmm? This only started after you arrived. Vaudrey: Mr Hardiman, I know what sort of man you are and I know what sort of business you and your friend Mr Joseph are in. And I know about your little game too. Jane: What do you mean? Vaudrey: I suppose it was you who called the police. Blake: What? Vaudrey: Maybe I should talk to them first. Maybe I will. Through the window, two police cars are visible arriving. Milner and Collier get out. Lounge. Collier is questioning the Powells. Collier: When did you decide to turn your home into a guesthouse, Mrs Powell? Wendy: About two months ago. It was just after Dunkirk, Mr Collier. I read that other country homes had been put to such use. Malcolm: Funk holes. Wendy: It was a financial necessity. It was not something we'd have chosen. Collier: Was it just you and your husband here? Wendy: We have a son. Collier: In the Forces? Wendy: In North Africa. Malcolm: Yes, he wasn't conscripted, he joined up. We're very proud of him. Behind Collier, Milner goes over to look at the photos on the nearby table. They're all of Wendy and Malcolm together. Collier: And I understand you have six guests here at present. Wendy: A Mr and Mrs Joseph, Mr and Mrs Hardiman, Miss Reece and Mr Vaudrey. Collier: Vaudrey's the most recent? Wendy: Yes, he's been here for a couple of weeks. Collier: Who buys the food for the house? Wendy: I do. Collier: And you go into the village, presumably. There's a grocer's shop run by a man called Leonard Holmes. Is that right, Mrs Powell? Wendy: Yes. I have all the guests' ration cards. We pool the supplies. Collier: Do you ever buy under the counter? Wendy: Certainly not! Malcolm: That's an outrageous suggestion, Mr Collier. Collier: Oh, I don't think so. Unlawful trading's rife in London. I don't see why it should be any different down here. Wendy: Well, I've never been offered or bought anything under the counter, as you put it, Chief Inspector. But you are more than welcome to search the entire house if you wish. Collier: Thank you, Mrs Powell. That's exactly what I intend to do. Later. Uniformed officers examine the food in the pantry. Hardiman bedroom. They watch as the police search. Blake: You have no right to do this. Right, I want to speak to your superior officer. Kitchen. Collier finds a plate of meat that's been coloured green. Wendy: It's horsemeat for Mrs Hardiman's dog. It's sprayed green before it's sold to show it's not fit for human consumption. The Josephs come out of their room, passing more police along the way. Milner and Collier descend the staircase together. Collier: Where's the writer woman, Miss Reece? Milner: Oh, she may be in the summerhouse. That's where she works. Collier: Ah. As they head for the front door, they pass Vaudrey making another house of cards. Collier: You are...? Vaudrey: Vaudrey. Frank Vaudrey. Look, why are you searching the house? Collier: We're looking for misappropriated food, Mr Vaudrey. I wonder if you'd know anything about that? Vaudrey: Certainly not. Collier: I believe that you're the most recent arrival here. From London. Vaudrey: Yes. Collier: London address? Vaudrey: 13 Goddard Road, the City. Collier: Do you have your ration books? Vaudrey: No, I gave them to Mrs Powell. Collier: How long do you plan to stay here? Vaudrey: I haven't decided. Collier: That's very good. Thank you. As they're about to leave, one of the police searchers arrives with the bag Jane Hardiman took from the tree. Policeman: Sir! Kitchen. Collier tips a collection of tins out of the bag in front of the Hardimans. Milner and several police officers stand by. Collier: Can you explain how these came to be concealed in your bedroom? Jane: They weren't concealed. They were just in the cupboard. They're Charlie's. Milner: Your dog? Jane: Yes. Collier: I'm sorry. You're feeding ham, tinned ham, to your dog? Where did you get it? Blake: Er, we, er, we brought it down with us from London. Collier: I think you're lying. I think you bought it from Leonard Holmes. Blake: How dare you! Collier: I'm doing my job, Mr Hardiman, and you're obstructing me. Maybe I should arrest you. Maybe I will. Another police officer arrives. Collier: Did you find anything else? Policeman: No, sir. Collier: Well, look again! Policeman: Sir. He leaves again. Outside. Sam is waiting by the cars. Milner comes out to join her. Sam: Has he found anything yet? Milner: Don't think so. Sam: Not how Mr Foyle would have done it. Milner: Sam. Collier arrives to join them. Milner: Anything upstairs, sir? Collier: No. Nothing. Sam: Bad luck, sir. Seems the whole thing's been a bit of a disaster. Collier: Is that what you think, Miss... Sam: Stewart. Collier: Stewart, that's it. Yes. That's what you think. Well, you're probably right. Why are you wearing that uniform? Sam: This one, sir? Collier: You've got it. Sam: Well, I'm, er, part of the MTC. Collier: Mechanised Transport Corps. Oh, so you're not a police driver. Sam: No, not exactly. I, I was transferred to drive Mr Foyle. Collier: It's highly irregular, isn't it? Sam: Well, it is the wr, sir. Collier: So, where were you before then? Sam: I was posted in Hastings. Had a frightful area officer. Name of Bradley. Collier: Hmm. Sam: Quite honestly, I was pleased to get out. Collier: Yeah. Well, I'm afraid I'm going to send you back again. Sam: What? Collier: It's nothing personal, Miss Stewart, but you see, I don't need a driver. Certainly not one from outside the police force. Sam: But I- Collier: I'm relieving you of your duties as of now. I mean, you can drive us back to the station, of course, and then, er, I'll arrange for your return to the MTC. That's all. He goes around to get back in the car, and after a moment, the others follow. MTC garage. Sam stands to attention before her office, Edith Bradley. Bradley: Can't say I was expecting to see you again, Stewart! Sam: I wasn't expecting to be back, ma'am. Bradley: I didn't give you permission to speak. You always were a loose cannon, Stewart. I can't say I was sorry when you were transferred. In fact, you were the most insubordinate woman under my command, and I can't imagine that your brief sojourn with the police will have made much difference. So, they've decided they can get along without you. Sam: I'm sure this is a temporary assignment, ma'am. The officer I was in charge of driving, Mr Foyle, has- Bradley: I'm your commanding officer now. And this time I'll be the one who decides who stays and who leaves. I hope, at least, you haven't forgotten your basic training. Sam: I'm sure I haven't forgotten all of it, ma'am. Street outside Foyle's house. Collier knocks and Foyle answers the door. Collier: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Mr Collier. Collier: Do you mind if I come in? Foyle: Well, d'you know, I do, rather? Collier: Then, perhaps you'd like to come out. Foyle: Because...? Collier: Well, I thought we should talk. I'm trying to be pleasant, Mr Foyle. Foyle picks up his keys. The two of them walk through the gates of a park. Collier: The doorman at St Paul's Hotel remembers you leaving at seven o'clock. That's an hour before the air raid. Foyle: The doorman's wrong. Collier: He clearly identified you. Foyle: Well, he's either mistaken or he's making a false statement. Collier: You're suggesting, what, somebody's got it in for you? Foyle: It crossed my mind. Collier: Rose? Foyle: Well, I wouldn't describe Rose and myself as close, exactly. I mean, he's a friend of Summers and Summers was sacked because of me. Collier: It wasn't Rose who came to me. I went to Rose. I'm afraid I started all this. Foyle: Oh, well, thanks very much. Collier: Well, what was I supposed to do? I had the witness statements. A report of a man of your description talking about the end of the wr, German victory, all the rest of it. Foyle: But you know it wasn't me. Collier: I don't know it, but I want to believe it. Just give me time. I'm doing what I can. Foyle: Let me look at the case notes. Collier: You know I can't do that. I seem to remember you have a son. RAF. Foyle: Yes. Collier: Susannah and I never had children. She was always sorry about it. I'm glad. Too many children being klled in this wr. He's, erm, he's a bmb pilot, isn't he? Foyle: Spitfire. Collier: I sometimes wonder how they can do it, these German pilots. They're so young. And they come here, they fly over London, press a button, kll so many people indiscriminately. What kind of a world are we coming to? Foyle: Are you trying to tell me something? Collier: If it was you in that shelter, if you did speak out against it, I understand. I'm with you. Foyle: Well, thank you, but I didn't. MTC garage. Sam is working down in a pit beneath a car. It drips oil on her. Sam: Ugh! Urgh! Urgh. As she comes out from under the car, Andrew walks up. Andrew: Sam. She sighs heavily. Sam: Oh, hello. Andrew: I went to look for you at the station. Sergeant Milner said I'd find you here. Sam: Yes. A sort of sideways promotion. What do you want? Andrew: I want to apologise. I behaved very badly last time we met. Sam: Oh, that's all right. Andrew: No, it isn't. You were very kind to me and... I behaved like an absolute pig. Sam: A pig or a prig? Andrew: Well, both. How did you end up in this dump? Sam: It's a long story. Andrew: Listen, I don't suppose I could make it up to you, could I? A flick tonight? They're showing Gone With The Wind. Although you've probably already seen it. Sam: Actually, I never did. Andrew: Well, what time do you finish here? Sam: No idea. Presumably when here finishes with me. Andrew: Well, how about the six o'clock showing? Sam: All right. Andrew: Thanks, Sam. He leaves. Brookfield Court. Peter is at work in the garden. Malcolm (voiceover): What is it you're not telling me? He and Wendy are both in the lounge together. Wendy: What? Malcolm: You think just because I can't see I don't know when you're lying to me. Wendy: Malcolm, I don't know what you're talking about. Malcolm: The other day when I came into the kitchen you said no one was there, but there was. I could sense it. Wendy: Oh, I don't know. I don't remember. Parker, maybe. Malcolm: Not Parker! Parker smells like a rat. Someone else. I sit here and I wait for you, and sometimes I think if you ever left me, if you ever went away, that's all I would ever do. Sit and wait. She comes over and clasps his arm. Wendy: I'd never do anything to hurt you. Malcolm: Then why don't you tell me? The telephone rings and Wendy gets up to answer it. Wendy: Hailsham 2378. Vaudrey is working on his house of cards nearby. Wendy: Good morning. Will you hold on a moment, please? Mr Vaudrey, there's a telephone call for you. Vaudrey: For me? Wendy: Yes. Vaudrey: Who is it? Wendy: They didn't say. As he sets a card down, his house of cards collapses. He leaves it and goes over to pick up the phone. Vaudrey: This is Frank Vaudrey speaking. Police interview room. Milner reads one of Amanda Reece's articles out loud to her. Milner: "I was on duty when the bmb fell, and I felt the whole street rise and fall with the shrapnel dancing off the cobbles. 'Come on, Amanda,' Eliza said, and without another thought the two of us were off, steering the ambulance through the swirling smoke." You claim to be an ambulance driver in London, but you're not even anywhere near. Reece: I don't claim to be anything, Sergeant Milner. I think you're missing the point. Milner: I'm only reading what you wrote in the summerhouse at Brookfield Court. Reece: And you smell the whiff of hypocrisy. Please, spare me your blushes. I'm giving my readers what they want, heroism and self-sacrifice during the worst of the Blitz. Doesn't mean that I actually have to experience it, any more than Victor Hugo had to climb up and ring the bells of Notre Dame or dear Agatha Christie has to go out and commit mrder. Milner: How long have you been staying there? Reece: Two rather miserable months and I'm beginning to think I prefer the Blitz. Milner: You know that we're investigating the discovery of a body. Reece Yes. Oh, I'd love to write about it, but I can't, because officially I'm not here. I'm in London. There is a certain irony in that, I suppose. Hoisted by my own petard. Milner: And what could you tell me about Brookfield Court? Reece: What could you want to know? Milner: Well, we believe the death may be connected to the theft of food. Reece: Ah! Misappropriated food. If I were you I'd start with Mrs Powell, a decidedly untrustworthy person. Milner: And what makes you say that? Reece: Well, what do you call a woman with an invalided husband, a blind husband, who is conducting an affair with a man half her age under his very nose? Brookfield Court, kitchen. Dan is washing dishes. Jane (offscreen): Charlie! Wendy looks in through the kitchen doorway. Wendy: Daniel, have you seen Mrs Hardiman's dog? Dan: Well, he's not in here, Mrs Powell. Wendy: Obviously not. He slipped out this morning and she's in a terrible state. Dan: Well, I've been in here. I haven't seen him. She leaves. Outside. Jane stands calling. Jane: Charlie! Wendy arrives to join her. Jane: You haven't seen him, Mrs Powell? Wendy: No I haven't, Mrs Hardiman. Have you tried the summerhouse? Jane: No. He wouldn't go down there on his own. Wendy: I'll have a look. Jane: Come on, Charlie! Inside. Blake runs into Max by the open front door. He gestures towards Jane outside. Blake: The wife. Do you know, she worries more about that hound than she does about me. Max laughs and starts to walk away. Blake: Seriously. Oh, er, listen, I've been meaning to ask you, actually... He follows Max. Nearby, Vaudrey's house of cards still stands in its fallen state from before the phone call. Outside. Wendy makes her way to the summerhouse and opens the door. Wendy: Mr Vaudrey! She rushes in to where he lies collapsed on the floor. Wendy: Mr Vaudrey! What's happened? Vaudrey: Woolton. He's struggling to speak and there's evidence of some substance around his mouth. Wendy: What? Vaudrey: W-Woolton... should've...stopped them. He falls back and lies still. Wendy: Mr Vaudrey. Outside. The police have arrived. A pair of stretcher bearers are taking the covered body to an ambulance as Collier and Milner come round the side of the house. Collier: Would you wait a moment, please? Stretcher-Bearer: Sir? Collier: Just put him down for a moment, will you? They set the body down and Collier uncovers it. Collier: What do you think happened here, Milner? Milner: I'd say he was poisoned, sir. Collier: Was poisoned or took poison, let's not jump to any conclusions. Milner: Cyanide, perhaps. Smell of almonds and there's a discoloration of the lips. And it looks as if someone's ht him. Collier: It's possible. Thank you, gentlemen. He covers the body again. Stretcher-Bearer: Yes, sir. Collier: Or he's, he's sitting there, he takes pills or something, and then he pitches forward and hits his head on the ground. Milner: It's unusual to find a su1c1de without a note. Collier: Well, we haven't looked yet, have we? Lounge. The two of them are there with the Powells. Wendy: I thought he must be ill. He seemed to have fallen. Collier: Quite. I'm sure all of this must be very distressing for you, Mrs Powell. Wendy: Yes. Collier: But we do need to know if he was able to say anything. Wendy: He did speak, yes. Collier: And...? Wendy: "Woolton... should've stopped them." That's all he said. Collier: Woolton? Milner: Lord Woolton? Collier: Yes. Yes, that's, erm... Well, that would make sense. A theft of food in the area, the house is being searched. Vaudrey must have been involved in some way. Milner: But why would he talk about Lord Woolton? Collier: He's Food Minister. Milner: Yes, I know that, sir, but- Malcolm: Vaudrey had only been here a couple of weeks. Never spoke to anyone. Just sat in the hall building his damn card houses. I don't think he was involved in anything. Wendy: He certainly was very solitary. There was one thing. He took a telephone call. Collier: When was that? Wendy: This morning. I was very surprised. Nobody had called him before. Collier: Who took the call? Wendy: I did. It was a man's voice. I can't tell you anything else. He asked for Vaudrey, I gave him the receiver. I don't know what they said. Milner: Miss Reece uses the summerhouse to write. How often is she there? Wendy: Most days. Sometimes most of the day. Milner: And did Vaudrey ever go there? Wendy: I don't think so. Collier: What are you getting at, Milner? Milner: Well, sir, if he committed su1c1de, why did he choose the summerhouse? Collier: We suspect that Mr Vaudrey may have taken cyanide. Wendy: Cyanide? Collier: Does that mean something to you? Wendy: I think you better speak to Mr Hardiman. Hardiman bedroom. Blake in through a side door to join Collier, Milner and Jane. Blake: It's gone. Collier: The pill was... Blake: It was a su1c1de pill. Er, we heard this rumour that, erm... Well, Harold Nicholson at the MOI and his writer wife have them in case of German invasion. So I had one too. Collier: And it, it was in a- in a box, was it, or...? Blake: Oh, yep, absolutely. "Danger, poison." Skull and crossbones. No, I don't see how anyone could have taken it accidentally. Milner: May not have been taken accidentally, sir. It might have been stolen. Collier: Who knew about the pill, sir? Blake: Erm, nobody. I didn't tell anybody. Jane: Well, Mrs Powell. Blake: Yes, I, I might have mentioned it to Mrs Powell once. Jane: We've had lots of thefts. Blake lost, erm- Blake: My cufflinks- Jane: A cigarette case and money. Blake: Money. Milner: While you've been staying here? Blake: Yeah, well, it happened pretty much the same time Vaudrey arrived, actually. We had, er, quite a set-to about it, didn't we? I mean, that's why I spoke to you. Milner: Mrs Hardiman, do you realise we may now be investigating a mrder? Is there anything else you'd like to tell us about the tins we found, here in your room? Jane: Yes. I'm very sorry, Sergeant Milner, I'm afraid I lied to you. Blake: Jane- Jane: But nobody cares about the animals in this wr! Thousands of dogs have been put down since it began. There are mass grave. 80,000 dad animals buried in secret and thousands more have been left to starve. They've made it illegal now to give milk to dogs and tinned food is, it's even harder to find than real meat. Collier: Who did you buy your dog food from, Mrs Hardiman? Jane: He left them for me near the summerhouse. That's why, with Mr Vaudrey, I have to tell you. Collier: Who? Jane: Leonard Holmes. Police interview room. Len has been brought in. Collier: Mrs Hardiman has admitted that you've been providing her with a wide range of illegal food supplies. Len: A few tins of ham? I was helping her! Collier: At three times the regulated price? Len: She came to me. Collier: You make me sick. Physically sick. Have you any idea what's happening out there? People are hurt, people are dying. People are losing everything that matters to them. And a rat, like you, all you can think about is profit. Len: It was just for her dog. Collier: Doesn't make any difference! Where did you get it? And where's the rest of it? Milner (voiceover): This is your last chance, Parker! He has Dan in his office with him. Milner: You were involved in the break-in at Hailsham. Dan: Says who? Milner: Vaudrey knew about you and Holmes, didn't he? And now he's dad. Dan: That's nothing to do with it. Milner: Really? We don't know that. Did you kll him? Dan: No! Milner: Two people are dad. Frank Vaudrey and Matthew Farley. And if that isn't enough- He tips out a bag full of stolen valuables. Milner: We found these in your room. Now, I think it's about time you talked. Cinema. Sam and Andrew come out together. Sam: I did enjoy it. Andrew: You cried the whole way through the second half. Sam: I know. She sniffs. Sam: My make-up must look dreadful. Andrew: You look fine. So, did you bring the car? Oh, I'm sorry. Sam: I wonder why Mr Collier would do that to me. Just because he didn't need me. And just because I criticised him. Mrs Bradley's a dragon of the worst sort. Your father better come and rescue me soon, that's all I can say. Andrew: I'll walk you home. They walk along a back street together. Andrew: Poor Dad. He hates being stuck at home. Sam: What about you? How's the arm? Andrew: Oh, feels better already. Be a few days before I can fly again, though. Sam: That's a good thing, isn't it? Andrew: Yes, I suppose. Sam: Aren't you frightened? Andrew: Sometimes. Maybe my luck's running out. I've had two close shaves now. Last time I really thought it was all over. Sam: Must have been horrible. Andrew: I can't help thinking about all the things I'd miss out on. Getting married, having children, Dad's cooking. Sam: Your father worries about you. He'd never say as much but I can tell. Andrew: It was bad enough for him losing Mum. Sam: How old were you when she died? Andrew: Eight. He never talks about her. I think they were very happy. He misses her. So do I. It's a bloody awful world, isn't it, Sam? htler, the nzi. Sometimes I wonder if this will ever end. Sam: You shouldn't talk like this, it'll spoil the evening. Andrew: Yes, you're right. What did Scarlett O'Hara say? "Tomorrow is another day." Sam: You'll get through it all right. I know you will. Andrew: I hope so. Anyway, I've really enjoyed this evening. Sam: Me too. Thanks for inviting me. Andrew: Thanks for coming. Sam... They stop and turn to face each other. Sam: Yes? Andrew: Would you mind if I kissed you? Sam: No. They share a kiss. Street outside Foyle's house. The constable is still on patrol. Milner arrives and knocks on the door. Foyle answers it. Foyle: Milner! Milner: I hope you don't mind me calling, sir. Foyle: Well, of course not. You been seen? He nods towards the patrolling constable. Milner: Yes, I think so. Foyle: You're in big trouble with Collier, then. Come in. Milner comes into the hall and Foyle closes the front door. Foyle: Well, good to see you. Milner: Thank you, sir. How are you? Foyle: Well, how do you think? Sit down. Milner: No, I won't stay, thank you, sir. I just thought I'd let you know that I managed to get a full confession out of Daniel Parker and we've recovered the Hailsham food supplies. Foyle: Good. Milner: Leonard Holmes was selling them to, er, a network of customers. Anyone willing to pay over the odds. But the only customers he had at Brookfield Court were Mrs Hardiman and her dog. Foyle: Not Vaudrey? Milner: No, sir. He wasn't buying food. But he might have known something about it. There is one that thing puzzles me. His last words were, "Woolton should've stopped them." Foyle: Lord Woolton, Minister of Food. Milner: Yes. Foyle: Yeah, odd. Local crime, nothing to do with politics as far as we can see. Sure it wasn't su1c1de? Milner: Well, he definitely took poison, but there are three inconsistencies. Foyle: Did he leave a note? Milner: Four inconsistencies. We don't know how he found out about Hardiman's pills. Apart from Mrs Powell, nobody else knew. The medical officer can't be sure that the bruising to the face happened when he fell. But most importantly, if Vaudrey committed su1c1de or even if he was mrder, why the summerhouse? Everybody knew that the writer, Amanda Reece, worked there almost all the time. Foyle: Where was Vaudrey before he came here? Milner: He lived at Goddard Road, near St Paul's in London. Foyle: Right. Milner: One last thing, sir. He pulls an envelope out of his inner pocket. Milner: I thought you might like these. I happened upon Collier's case notes about you. I copied as much as I could. Foyle opens the envelope. Foyle: You know, there, erm, are going to be two of us suspended at this rate, Milner. Milner: I'll be happy to join you, sir. Foyle: Thank you. Milner: I'll let myself out. He goes to leave. Foyle: If the, erm, writer wasn't writing away in the summerhouse, where was she? Milner: She was with me, sir, at the station. I was interviewing her. Foyle: Right. Rules her out, then. Milner leaves. Brookfield Court, hallway. Reece finishes writing a cheque and hands it to Wendy. Reece: There you are. My cheque. Wendy: Thank you, Miss Reece. I'm sorry you've decided to leave us. Reece: I'm afraid I'm not, Mrs Powell. I can't work here with all this disruption. There's a hotel in Shropshire that has a room available. Wendy: I'm sure it'll be much quieter there. Reece: I hope so. You know... if I may say so, there is an atmosphere in this house. I noticed it the moment I came here. Wendy: You may be right, Miss Reece, but it's not the house. It's the people in it. Reece leaves. Foyle house. Andrew goes over to look out of the front window. Foyle comes down the stairs behind him. He's changed out of his casual clothes into a smarter suit and is just doing up his tie. Foyle: Still there? Andrew: Mm-hmm. Foyle: How are we going to do this? Andrew: Why do you have to go to London, anyway? Foyle: I'll tell you later. Um... He checks his watch and frowns. Andrew: Hey, what not use my room. Out the window, down the tree and into the next garden. Foyle: Beg your pardon? Andrew: Well, how do you think I used to bunk off when I was meant to be doing homework? Foyle: Yeah, but you were how old? Andrew: Aren't you up to it? Foyle: I see. Your room. He heads out. Andrew snickers and follows. Foyle's office. Milner stands before the desk. Collier: You went to see DCS Foyle. Milner: Yes, sir. Collier: Even though I expressively forbade him to have any further contact with this station or vice versa. Milner: I'm sorry, sir. Collier: Are you? I have to say, Milner, I'm disappointed by your lack of faith. I assume you kept him informed of progress at Brookfield Court. Milner: Yes, sir. Collier: And you must realise that I wouldn't be acting out of my authority if I were to strip you of your rank and recommend your immediate transfer. No, you've, erm, you've really disappointed me. Now, I admire loyalty, but for the moment I'm your commanding officer and I might have expected just a little of that loyalty to rub off on me. D'you think I've treated Mr Foyle unfairly? Milner: I don't think he should have been suspended from duty. Collier: Wasn't my decision. That was the Assistant Commissioner and if I reported you to him now, you'd be out of here by the end of the week. As it is, I'm the one who's leaving. Milner: Are the charges against Mr Foyle being dropped? Collier: No. The investigation's going to continue in London. Milner: What about the mrder at Brookfield Court? Collier: There was no mrder. Vaudrey took his own life. I think I can leave it to you to find out why. London air-raid shelter. Foyle walks through the empty shelter, looking around. There are phantom sounds of bmb falling. Fowler (voiceover): It's madness. It's madness. Man (voiceover): He's talking sedition. A busy London street. Women are doing laundry, operating out of the back of a van, and there are a group of people waiting. Foyle makes his way through the crowd and approaches Deidre Simms among the women doing laundry. Foyle: Excuse me, Mrs Simms? Simms: That's me. Foyle: Can I have a word? Simms: I don't know you, do I? Foyle: No, I'm a police officer. Simms: Oh. Dolly? Dolly: Yeah? Simms: Can you take over for me? Dolly: Right you are. Simms: You're not local, are you? Foyle: Er, no, I'm not. Simms: I can tell. Foyle: I understand, um, you were in, erm, erm, a, a, a shelter. Simms: Oh, not that again. Look, I've already told your lot everything I know. Thought that would be the end of it. I mean, he didn't mean anything by it, poor old sod. After what he'd been through, it's not surprising he sht his mouth off. You should leave him alone. Foyle: So you knew him? Simms: Course I know him. We all know each other round here. Foyle: And his name is, um...? Simms: Fowler. Colin Fowler. Foyle: Fowler. Simms: Yeah. Foyle: Not... Foyle? Simms: No. You're not going to bother him any more, are you? Foyle: Erm, what did you mean? What had- what had he been through? Simms: In the school. Over in West Ham. Foyle walks along a residential street. Fowler (voiceover): It's the authorities, they don't really know what they're doing. Fowler's house. There are photos of his wife and sons. Fowler: They didn't know what to expect. They tell me nearly half the houses in Stepney have been damaged or destroyed, and what are they gonna do with all those people? Public Assistance Committees, they're useless. There aren't enough feeding stations, it's all a mess. Foyle (offscreen): What about the school? Fowler: We were put in there, me and my wife, my two boys. There was hundreds of us in there. Too many. They said it'd only be for a while, till the coaches arrived. Three nights we were there. There was no blankets, nowhere to wash, nowhere to sit down. You know what they had for toilets? Buckets and coal scuttles and there weren't even enough of them. They kept us penned in there like animals. Coaches never did turn up, but Jerry did. On the third night we were bmb. And the next day, the... There's bodies everywhere. I've never seen so many bodies. I never found my wife, but I found my two sons. They were lying together, holding hands. Turns out we'd been forgotten. Somebody mislaid the paperwork, I don't know. And now I'm on my own. Outside. Foyle is leaving house. Fowler: Not gonna lock me up, then? Foyle: No, I don't think you'll be, um, troubled any more, Mr Fowler. Fowler: Doesn't make any difference to me. Not any more. He looks up at something above their heads. Fowler: There's Bevin up again. Bloody useless! There's a barrage balloon anchored above the houses. Fowler: They all are. He goes back into the house and shuts the door. Foyle looks up at the balloon. Rose's office at police headquarters. Rose: I'd no idea you were coming here, Foyle. And I don't like having you barge into my office unannounced. Foyle: Well, if I'd told you I was coming, you wouldn't have seen me. Rose: Shouldn't even be talking to you. Now while you're under investigation. Foyle: Well, it's not me you should be investigating. Someone's decided, erm, to mistake me for a Colin Fowler, the person you should be looking into, because they've decided for whatever reason that our names are similar and that he's a policeman. Rose: Colin Fowler? Foyle: Whereas the only thing we've got in common is our initials. He once spent a year in the Police Auxiliary Messenger Service, but he's not a policeman, he's a joiner by trade. And for what it's worth, he's no more guilty than I am. Rose: And have you seen the man? Foyle: Yes, of course. I'd rather like to know which idiot suspended me? Rose: Actually, Foyle, the decision was mine. Foyle: Well, what a surprise. And Collier? Rose: Well, he was trying to help. Out of respect for you he decided to handle the case personally. Look, what is all this? You're not the only fish in the sea, Foyle. Plenty of other things on my desk. Foyle: There's a mrder inquiry on mine. I'm just trying to find out why I was taken off in the middle of it. Rose: mrder? But Collier said the chap committed su1c1de. Foyle: Collier's wrong. Rose: So that's why you're here, to complain about Collier, hmm? Foyle: No. I'm here for information regarding, er, a West Ham school that was bmb two months ago. Brookfield Court. Milner is in the lounge with the Powells. Milner: Mrs Powell, when I interviewed Miss Reece, she made certain allegations about you. Wendy: Yes. Peter is there behind Milner, facing away from the three of them. Milner: She said you were involved in an improper relationship with your gardener. Wendy: She said I was having an affair? Milner: Those were the words she used, yes. Malcolm: That's a lie. I don't believe it for a minute. Milner: I don't believe it either, sir, but I do believe that your wife may have been deceiving you. He turns to face Peter. Milner: Is there anything you'd like to say? Peter: No. I- I've nothing to say. Malcolm: Peter? Is that you? Peter: Yes, Dad. I'm sorry. Malcolm: Why? Wendy: How did you find out, sergeant? Milner: Well, he knows nothing about gardening, for a start. And you said he was serving overseas, and yet there isn't a single photograph of him anywhere. Plenty of you and your husband, but none of him. Wendy: No, I hid the photographs in case someone saw him and recognised him. Malcolm: Wendy, you... knew about this? Wendy: I couldn't tell you, my dear. I knew you'd want to send him back. Peter: No, it wasn't Mum's fault. I'm sorry. I deserted. I left my unit just before we were due to embark for overseas. The first she knew about it was when I arrived here. Malcolm: You deserted? Peter: I'd had enough. I couldn't take it any more. You don't understand. Malcolm: Of course I understand. You didn't want to end up like me. Wendy: What are you going to do? Milner: Going absent without leave and deserting are treated in two different ways. If your son returns to his unit and gives himself up voluntarily, he'll be treated more leniently. Malcolm: He'll be there. I promise you. Peter. He holds out a hand, and Peter steps forward to embrace him. Peter: Sorry. Milner heads back along the hallway. Jane Hardiman is carrying her dog up the staircase as he passes. Jane: Bedtime, Charlie. Milner leaves the house and walks through the grounds. Blake and Max are playing tennis in the background. Blake: Yep. There you go. That's the one. That's the one. Ah! Seafront. Andrew and Sam walk along by the beach. Andrew: You're not going to get into any trouble, are you, bunking off and meeting me? Sam: I couldn't be in any more trouble than I already am. Mrs Bradley's got me fixing her car. An old beast of a thing. Andrew: Mrs Bradley or the car? Sam: I don't know for how much longer I can stick it. Maybe I should pack it all in and move back home to Dad. Andrew: Oh, don't do that. I'm sure my father will work things out. You know he was in London? He sneaked out. Climbed a tree. He laughs. Andrew: I don't think I've ever seen anything so bizarre. Dad in his best suit and hat, swinging down into next door's garden. Sam: Did he find anything out? Andrew: He didn't say. Sam: He never does. Andrew: God, I love it here. He stops to look out over the view. Andrew: How could I ever leave here, with the English sky so blue? Could I turn from the trees as they bend in the breeze, or forsake the evening dew? Sam: That's nice. Andrew: I just made it up. Sam: A poet. Andrew: klling time in the dispersal hut. Sam: You're going back, aren't you? Andrew: It seems they can't manage without me. Sam: But you can't fly. Andrew: The arm's healing. Sam: Maybe I should break the other one. Andrew: Just keep your spanner away from me, all right? They start walking again. Sam: I'm going to worry about you now. The whole time! Andrew: You said I was gonna come through all right. You were sure of it. Sam: That was before. Andrew: I didn't think you liked me. Sam: I can see it now. I'll be the one sitting at home, listening to the wireless, writing you letters every day. I'll probably go grey. Andrew: Sam, I'm not gonna be very far away. Sam: I hate this stupid wr. I wish htler would just... drown. Andrew: There is something I wanted to say. Sam: About your father. Andrew: Well, you know how he is. Likes to keep everything in separate boxes. Sam: Mmm. I'm sure he'd pack me off to Lyminster the moment he found out. You will take care of yourself, won't you? Promise me. He kisses her. Andrew: I promise. Police station front desk. Foyle arrives as the duty officer hands some paperwork to Milner. Duty Officer: There you are. Foyle: Morning, Milner. Milner: Sir, good morning. Foyle: Where's Sam? Milner: Transferred, sir. Collier sent her back to the MTC. Foyle: Right. Um, telephone Andrew, would you? Get him over here. Milner: Yes, sir. Foyle walks through to his office, where Collier is sitting behind the desk. Foyle: Morning. Collier: Good morning, Mr Foyle. Foyle closes the door behind him. Collier: I imagine you'd like your desk back. Foyle: Well, there's, er, no rush. Collier: The, er, the Assistant Commissioner telephoned me this morning. I just want to say I'm delighted that the allegations proved to be groundless and I'm going to be reviewing this whole business as soon as I get back to London. Foyle: That's very kind of you. Thank you. Collier: Now, I was, er, I, I was just finishing my case notes on Frank Vaudrey. Foyle: And, er, what's the conclusion? Collier: Well, he was implicated in the illegal distribution of food supplies. Um, quite why he klled himself is still a matter of conjecture. I mean, I've... made some suggestions which I'm sure you'll follow up, but, er, we may never know. Foyle: Sure it was su1c1de? Collier: Oh, I think so, yes. Foyle: I'm not. Collier: Yes. Well, I'm, I'm aware that Sergeant Milner's been keeping you informed but, er, even so, I'd be surprised that you could come to any conclusions without even visiting Brookfield Court. Foyle: Well, I came to, um, whatever conclusions were necessary in London. Collier: London? Foyle: Er, where all this sort of, erm, began with the, erm, request that Milner put in to Scotland Yard for information about Vaudrey because one of the a hotel guests, er, was suspicious about him pilfering. Flashback to Milner typing up the request. Foyle: Er, which in fact turned out to be Daniel Parker, though Milner didn't know that at the time. Flashback to Collier picking up the request from an in-tray. Foyle (voiceover): His request, er, went up to Scotland Yard where, I think, it was, er, you who came across it. Office. Collier: That's right. I did. Foyle: Vaudrey not being the most common of names, you, not unreasonably, concluded it was the same Frank Vaudrey that you were looking for? Collier: And why would I be looking for him? Foyle: Because he was the, er, London councillor who left 200 homeless people sheltering in a school with, er, inadequate provisions. He failed to get them to safety and as a result, er, more than 100 of them died in an air raid, which, er, destroyed the building. Er, among the dad were two voluntary workers, er, from the WVS, Rosemary and Susan Collier, who were your...? Collier: Mother and sister. Foyle hands him a police report with the list of casualties. Collier slowly sits back down at the desk. Foyle sits down opposite. Foyle: So, you knew where he was. You knew exactly what you wanted to do to him. Colin Fowler you already knew was another of the victims of the bmb. He lost his wife and two sons. You, erm, very effectively used the tenuous similarity of our names and a suggestion that he'd been in the police, er, to accuse me of sedition. And in the huge distraction that you created, erm, took my place. You walked into Brookfield Court. You found the su1c1de pill as you searched the Hardimans' bathroom, and you arranged for Milner to interview Amanda Reece at the station to be sure there'd be no one was in the summerhouse. Don't really need to, er, go on, do I? Collier: Not really. I came down here to kll Vaudrey. It's exactly what I did. Vaudrey (voiceover): It wasn't my fault! Flashback to Vaudrey and Collier in the summerhouse. Vaudrey: You don't understand. It was all so muddled. All the paperwork, the regional committee, the wardens, the ARP. Collier: It was your responsibility. Vaudrey: I didn't mean to leave them there. It was the pressure of work. Collier: You let them die. And then you just left. You dumped your work and you slithered away and you came down here to hide. Vaudrey sits down. Vaudrey: I'm not well. My nerves are sht to pieces. I don't sleep. You don't know how I feel. Collier: How you feel? My mother and my sister were in that school. They're dad. And you want me to worry about how you feel? Vaudrey: Look, I said I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry! I'm sorry! What more do you want me to do? Collier: Yes. Yes, er, that's what we're here for, isn't it? He looks out of the window of the summerhouse. Collier: I'll tell you what I want you to do. He shakes a capsule marked 'poison'. Collier: It's a cyanide pill. Vaudrey: What? Collier draws a gn and points it at Vaudrey. Collier: I want you to kll yourself. Swallow the pill or I'll sht you. Vaudrey: No. You wouldn't. Collier backhands him across the face and he falls to the ground. Collier crouches over him, holding the gn close to his head. Collier: Now, I'm offering you a choice, Mr Vaudrey. You can take the pill and go quietly, or I'll sh*t you in the legs and the arms and the stomach and you'll lie here and writhe in pain you cannot imagine. Believe me, I'm a police officer, I've seen it. I'll sit here and watch you die in agony or you can go to sleep. He holds up the capsule, and then cocks the pstol. Collier: Which is it to be? Collier (voiceover): He took the poison, of course. Foyle's office. Collier: But, er, it didn't kll him as quickly as I'd hoped. It was amazing, really, he was alive when they found him. Flashback to Wendy finding Vaudrey. Wendy: Mr Vaudrey! What's happened? Vaudrey: W-Woolton... should've...stopped them. Foyle's office. Collier: Woolton. D'you know what he meant? Foyle: Fowler referred to a barrage balloon in London as Bevin, the Minister of Labour. Er, it seems Londoners have named barrage balloons after politicians. So, it, er, may be of some comfort to you that he died expressing some sort of remorse. Er, Woolton was the name of the, er, barrage balloon near the school. Er, and, of course, It should've prevented the bmb by forcing the Germans to fly higher or go another way. Collier: It didn't. My mother, my sister, all the others. Foyle: Yeah, I'm sorry. Terrible tragedy. But no justification for the course of action you've taken. Collier: Oh, I have no regrets at all, Mr Foyle. I lost my entire family. So stupidly. So unnecessarily. And all because one man forgot to sign a piece of paper. That's what I've said from the start. w*r does different things to different people. Look what it's done to me. MTC garage. Bradley comes up to where Sam is working on her car. Bradley: Ready yet, Stewart? Sam: Be a few minutes yet, ma'am. Bradley: I need it now. Foyle (offscreen): Sam! Sam: Good morning, sir. Foyle: What on Earth are you doing here? Gross dereliction of duty. Sam: It wasn't my idea, sir. Foyle: Yeah, I know. You don't want to be here. Sam: Certainly not. Foyle: Got a car outside needs a driver. You're being transferred. Come on. He leaves. Sam goes back to Bradley's car, loosens something, then closes the bonnet. Outside. Foyle and Milner get in the car. Andrew holds the driver's door open for Sam. Then he gets in the back. Garage. Bradley: Stewart? Where the devil is she going? She gets into her car and starts it. A cloud of steam immediately hisses out from the bonnet. Outside, Sam drives away. Behind her, Bradley gets out of her car as two other MTC members come running. Bradley can only watch Sam leave.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "02x04 - The Funk Hole"}	foreverdreaming
A parachute drops at night. French Agent (offscreen): C'est l'Anglais. Two French agents with bicycles are watching the parachute descend. French Agent: Merde! Il est alle trop loin. They grab their bikes. The parachutist, Facteur, drops to the ground. CAPTION: NORTHERN FRANCE, FEBRUARY 1941 He reels in his parachute. The two French agents are riding along through the woods. Facteur frees himself from the parachute. He checks his compass and a map with a torch, then sets off through the woods. The French agents are now riding along a dirt road. Facteur checks his compass again, then leaves the trees to head out across open ground. A mine blows up under his feet. Back on the road the two French agents come to a halt. They see the evidence of the explsin up ahead. French Agent: Putain! OPENING CREDITS A London street. Foyle enters the Admiralty building. He approaches the receptionist. Foyle: Good morning. Here to see, er, Commander Howard? Receptionist: Mr Foyle? Foyle: Yes. Receptionist: The Commander sends his apologies. He's still in a meeting. Would you like to take a seat? Foyle: Right. Thank you. He walks over to the waiting area. Conference room. A group of officers are having a meeting, including Lieutenant Colonel James Wintringham, Admiral Francis, Sir Giles Messinger and Commander Charles Howard. Wintringham: We need a ship. I don't care what sort of ship, but how else am I to get my agents into Brittany? Francis: Well, I would thought that have air drops would have been more effective, Colonel Wintringham. Wintringham: Yes, but just about all the Special Duty flights are reserved by the Secret Intelligence Services. Sir Giles: We were here first. And why should we give any more flights, any more fuel, any more men, when after seven months you've absolutely nothing to show for it? Wintringham: If you didn't block every single one of our operations, Sir Giles, perhaps we would have made more progress. Sir Giles: My view of the so-called Special Operations Executive has been clear from the start. A bunch of upstarts and amateurs wasting valuable time and resources. Francis: We are aware of your views, Sir Giles. Sir Giles: Requests for ships, planes, receiving stations and all the rest of it are simply deplorable, given the total lack of results. Wintringham: We've had results. We made contact with the Polish Home Army. Sir Giles: And lost it again. Your two agents have vanished. Wintringham: Who told you that? Sir Giles: Two agents lost in Poland, another in Czechoslovakia. Wintringham: You're spying on us. You have absolutely no right. Francis: Gentlemen, please, this is going nowhere. Commander Howard? Howard: We have a French training ship that might fit the bill, sir. A 60-foot yawl. She's lying idle in Portsmouth. Francis: Send me the details and I'll pass them on. Sir Giles? Sir Giles: One more mistake, I'll prove they should have listened to me in the first place. Reception area. Foyle is pacing as Howard comes down the stairs. Howard: Christopher. Come on up. I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting. Foyle: Charles. They shake hands. Howard: It's been a bloody day. Departmental infighting. You wouldn't believe it. Sometimes it's hard to believe we're all on the same side. How's Andrew? Foyle: He's very well, thank God. Howard: I keep meaning to write to him, see him, drop him a fiver in the post or something, I don't know. I'm not much of an uncle. Foyle: Only one he's got. They reach the top of the stairs. Howard: Here. Howard's office. Howard: I may be able to help you. I've been putting the word out and I may have something for you. Foyle: Go on. Howard: It would mean moving to Liverpool. Foyle: Go on. Howard: Reporting to Admiral Sir Percy Noble. And he's a good man. Popular, clever. Heading up this Western Approaches Command Centre down on the docks. He's got a huge intelligence operation up there. Foyle: And he'll see me? Howard: With my recommendation. Foyle: Thank you. Howard: And it couldn't be more important, I can tell you that. Well, if we lose much more shipping, we'll all starve to death. Foyle: Well, I want to help. Howard: I know, but there is one thing I, I have to ask you this. You're doing a bloody good job where you are. Everyone speaks very highly of you. Why are you still so determined to leave? Foyle: Andrew flies Spitfires. I know the work you're doing here. This morning, I arrest a man for speculating in breach of the 1939 Prices Of Goods Act, selling batteries at ten pence ha'penny a time. Howard: I'd better speak to Sir Percy. Foyle: Thank you. Sam and Foyle are driving along a street. Sam: Everything all right, sir? Foyle: I think so. Sam: You're not really planning to leave, are you? Foyle: Where did you get that from? Sam: You can't leave the Force, sir. I mean, what would I do without you? Foyle: You'd easily find another job. Sam: It wouldn't be the same. You could take me with you, make me an honorary Wren. Foyle: Listen, nothing's been decided yet. Just keep all this under your hat, you understand? Sam: Mum's the word. St Mary's church, Levenham. The vicar, Aubrey Stewart, is greeting people as they arrive. Man: Morning. Morning. Aubrey: How are you? Well? Man: Fine, thank you. Aubrey: Good. Mrs Hollingworth. Hollingworth: Hello. Aubrey: How's your son? Hollingworth: My son's fine. Aubrey: Good. Good. Hello. Man: Morning. Man: Hello. Good morning. Aubrey: Welcome. Welcome to St Mary's. Hello. How do you do? Hello. Nice to see you. How are the family? Are they well? Later. Hilda Pierce walks at head of a large group of people approaching the church, some in unform. Aubrey (offscreen): Welcome one and all, both to the old... Lieutenant Colonel Wintringham comes up behind Pierce. Wintringham: I need to talk to you, but not now. Aubrey (offscreen): And to those new faces who have recently come amongst us. Welcome. St Mary's is a very old church and a draughty one, but we hope you feel at home. We will start with our usual hymn. The organ begins playing inside the church. Out in the churchyard, a bald man stands writing something in a notebook, then walks away. He passes the freshly dug grave of an Edward Harper. Later. The congregation are filing out of the church. Aubrey: Well, it's been very nice to see you again. I hope you'll soon be better. Yes, indeed. Thank you. See you soon. Goodbye, Mrs Hooper. Hello, Captain. Afternoon. Wintringham: Very good sermon. Aubrey: Nice of you to say so, Colonel. Perhaps we'll see you again next Sunday. Pierce catches up to Wintringham outside the church. Wintringham: We've had some news from France. Pierce: When? Wintringham: Last night. Pierce: Facteur? Wintringham: He's dad. She stops walking. Pierce: What happened? Wintringham: It doesn't matter. All that matters is we keep this to ourselves. If Sir Giles hears so much as a word of it- Pierce: Yes, yes, of course. So, what are we going to do? They start walking again. Wintringham: I have an idea. Pierce: You have too many ideas. Do they know? She eyes other people in their group. Wintringham: Unfortunately, yes. But they only know he was klled, nothing more. Pierce: For the time being. Wintringham: We have a snake in the grass. Sir Giles virtually boasted of it when I was in London. But which one of them is it? Maccoby? Nicholson? Dumont? That's your job, Hilda. I have to know which one of them it is. She nods. Police interview room. Jack Fenner lights a cigarette while Milner sit silently watching him. Fenner: So? How much longer are you going to keep me here? Milner: I don't know about you, Mr Fenner, but I've got all day. Fenner: Well. Well, I've got a shop to run. Milner: Yes, the shop on Alberry Street. It's getting to be well-known. Fenner: Yes, well, I like to do my best by my customers. Milner: That's certainly true. Batteries. Razor blades. Spare parts for radios. Even Thermos flasks. Fenner: Oh, one Thermos flask, and she had a special permit. Milner: Providing, of course, you're willing to pay. Fenner: Oh, look, what is this? It's a penny here and tuppence there. I mean, things come my way and I pass 'em on. Milner: At a profit. Fenner: Well, so, who's counting? Frankly, Sergeant Milner, I'm surprised you haven't got something better to do. Milner stands up. Milner: I'm doing my job, Mr Fenner. There are men losing their lives every day to keep the supply lines open. "A penny here"? "Tuppence there"? Is that all you think they're worth? Fenner: Look, if you want to put me up in front of the magistrate, I shall get a £5 fine and be sent home again. So, if that's what you want to do, then do it, but just don't waste my time. Police station entrance. Sergeant Rivers is behind the desk as Sam and Foyle come in. Rivers: Morning, sir. Foyle: Sergeant. Anything? Rivers: Er, not really, sir, except you haven't bought your raffle tickets. Foyle: How much are they? Rivers: Tuppence, sir. Proceeds to the WVS. Foyle: What do I win? Rivers: This. He brings out a large onion from under the desk. Foyle: That's quite a beauty. I'll have a bob's worth. Rivers: Very good, sir. I'll make a note of it. Milner comes out from the back. Milner: Sir. Foyle: Any luck? Milner: No, sir. Fenner's a rat, but until I can find out who's supplying him, there's not much I can do. Foyle: Right. Let him go. Milner: Yes, sir. He starts to head off into the back. Foyle: You all right? Milner: Yes, sir. He leaves, and after a moment Foyle does too. Sam: Could I have a smell? Rivers: What? Sam: The onion. I haven't seen one since Christmas. She picks it up and sniffs it. Sam: Mmm! Rivers: That'll cost you a penny. Alberry Street. Fenner comes out of his shop and locks the door behind him. He lifts some boxes into the back of his van and goes round to get in, but stops at the sound of an engine. A car pulls up next to the book repository at the corner of the street. Fenner moves closer to take a look. Two men get out of the car and lift what looks like a wrapped body out of the boot. Man: Get the door open, will you? As Fenner stands watching them, a third man comes up behind him and whacks him across the back of the neck. Police station. Sam is just on her way out when she hears a noise from Milner's office and goes to investigate. Sam: You still here? Milner's at his desk. He checks his watch. Milner: I thought you'd gone. Sam: I've just dropped Mr Foyle home. I'm leaving the car here tonight. D'you want to buy me a drink? Milner gets up. Pub. The two of them are sitting at a table together. Milner: Just wasn't working. So she's gone back to Wales. Sam sighs. Sam: It's all the wr. You try and go on as normal and you just can't. It's mucking us all up. I don't know what will happen if it goes on much longer. Milner: There's something else. I'm thinking of leaving Hastings. Sam: Oh, not you, too? Milner: Who else? Sam: Er, nobody. Why do you want to leave? Milner: A fresh start, I suppose. Sam: Mr Foyle will be very disappointed in you. Milner: Well, don't mention it to him. Not yet. Sam: I won't. I wouldn't dream of it. D'you know what you two need? Something to take your mind off things. A jolly good mrder. That'd do it. Alberry Street. A warden patrols the dark street. As he's passing the book repository, it explodes, and he's thrown to the ground. Daylight. A police cordon has been set up around the scene. A uniformed officer lifts it to let Foyle and Sam through. Policeman: Sir. Milner meets them on the other side. Milner: An explsin last night, sir. A warden got caught in the blast. Foyle: Is he all right? Milner: Er, he's in hospital. Minor injuries. Which is more than you can say for the man who was inside. We haven't moved him. I'm afraid it isn't very pleasant. Sam: Don't worry, sir. I'm staying outside. Foyle and Milner enter the building. Foyle uncovers what's left of the body. Milner: The MO says he was a young man. There's not much more he can add. Foyle: Not much of him left. Milner: It looks like a grenade, sir. He must have been holding it right up to his head. Incidentally, both doors were locked and the key was in his pocket. And the warden said he didn't see anybody else around. So it looks like it might have been su1c1de. Foyle: Anything else? Identity card? Ration book? Milner: No, sir. Just this. It was in the same pocket as the key. He unwraps and hands Foyle a gold pocket watch. Foyle: It's gold. Milner: Plate? Foyle: Solid, I'd say. Milner: There's an inscription on the inside. Foyle: "WRM. Congratulations. April the 5th, 1938." Congratulations on what? The two of them leave the building and head towards the car, parked in front of Fenner's shop. Foyle: Strange place to do away with yourself. Milner: It's been closed for a while. He nods at the sign for Fenner's shop. Milner: Sir. Jack Fenner, bang opposite. That's his van, apparently. He points over at where a policeman is peering into the van. Foyle: Right. Worth having another word with him, then. Release the, erm, date and the initials on this to the press. Say it was an accident for the time being. See if we get a response. Milner: Yes, sir. I'll find out if it was bought locally. Foyle: Good idea. Jeweller's shop. The watchmaker is showing the watch to Milner. Watchmaker: You can see. It's signed and numbered. Milner: Swiss? Watchmaker: Mm-hmm. This is a very nice gold pocket watch. Keyless gilt-bar movement. Arabic numerals. Milner: Expensive? Watchmaker: Mmm. Undoubtedly. Ah! I see it's been engraved. 1938? That's strange. Milner: Why is that, sir? Watchmaker: Well, I don't quite understand. The watch has obviously been heavily used. There are quite a few scratches. And it's been repeatedly taken in and out of the pocket. Look here, you see? It wears smooth after a time. And another thing... It needs a clean. Milner: So, it's an old watch? Watchmaker: That's what I mean. It looks like an old watch, but this is a very recent model. Milner: How recent? Watchmaker: A year? I would certainly say it was made after 1938. Foyle's office. Sam reads aloud from a newspaper. Sam: "An explsin two nights ago in Alberry Street. The police have removed the body of a man in his mid-twenties, following what appears to have been a tragic accident. A Swiss pocket watch was recovered from the scene with the initials WRM." She lowers the paper to look at Foyle where he's sitting at his desk. Sam: I thought he committed su1c1de. Foyle: Perhaps. Sam: Can't believe anything you read in the papers these days. If it's not the Ministry of Information cutting everything out, it's all just propaganda. She sighs. Sam: Won't you miss it, sir? Foyle: The Chronicle? Sam: All this. Police work. The phone rings and he picks it up. Sam: I mean, if you join Naval Intelligence it's all just paperwork. He holds up a finger for silence while he answers the phone. Foyle: Yes. Right. Thank you. On our way. He hangs up the phone as he stands up. Sam: I mean, you see what I mean? Here we go ahead. You never know what's round the corner in this job. Foyle: That's enough. End of conversation. The subject's off limits. Thank you. Sam and Foyle drive along. dke (voiceover): William Messinger. That's it. That's his name. Milner and Foyle are interviewing landlady Mrs dke at her house. dke: And he had a gold watch. I saw him with it. That's what made me think it must be William. Milner: And is this it? dke: Yes. It's lovely, innit? Valuable, I'd have said. Milner: So, what can you tell us about him, Mrs dke? dke: Well, not a lot, I'm afraid. He only started renting a room here six months ago. Milner: Do you know what he was doing in Hastings? dke: He didn't say. He kept himself to himself, really. I think his parents live in the town. He certainly mentioned he had family here somewhere. Foyle: If, erm, he had a family, why would he need the room, do you think? dke: Ah, now, I can tell you that. Would you care to sit down? Foyle: No, thanks. She takes a seat on the sofa. dke: There was a young lady he was seeing. A nice girl. I imagine he didn't want to take her home. Foyle: D'you know her name? dke: Erm... Now... Greenwood, that's it. Marion Greenwood. I only saw her two or three times. Foyle: How long have you lived in Hastings, Mrs dke? dke: Oh, a long time. I lived here with my husband, Ernest. He died last year. He was only 63. Foyle: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Was he a Hastings man? dke: Born and bred, yeah. Foyle: Was he at school here? dke: Yes, yes. Foyle: Where was that, then? dke: What d'you want to know that for? What's that got to do with anything? I thought you wanted to know about Mr Messinger. Foyle: Yes. Er, would you mind if we, er, took a look at his room? Upstairs bedroom. Mrs dke opens the door for them. Milner picks up an identity card from the nightstand. There's a framed photo of a young woman there as well. Milner: Identity card. Money. He seems to have left everything behind. He picks up an envelope addressed to Marion. dke: Sir. "Marion, my darling, by the time you read this, I will have made my choice. I told you I can't live without you. Now you will know that I meant what I said." He hands the letter to Foyle, who reads it then shows it to dke. Foyle: This his handwriting? dke: Yes. It is. Foyle: How d'you know? dke: He used to leave me notes. Street. Foyle and Milner are walking along together. Milner: You don't think it was su1c1de, do you? Foyle: Don't I? What do you think? Milner: Well, a man locks himself in a room with the key in his pocket, blows himself up with a hand grenade, he has a motive, he's just bust up with his girl, and he leaves behind a su1c1de note in his own handwriting. No, I don't think so, either. Foyle smiles. Hill House, Levenham. Pierce bursts into Wintringham's office. Pierce: So, you- He's on the phone and holds up a hand for silence. Wintringham: Hampstead. He puts the phone down. Pierce: You went ahead with this plan of yours against my advice and without further consultation. Wintringham: I think you should remember, Miss Pierce, you may run this section, but I am Director of Operations and I don't think I need to come asking permission from you. Pierce: It's sheer madness. You can't believe it'll work. Wintringham: Why not? It's exactly the sort of operation we were put in place to achieve. If we win, we survive. If we lose, we don't deserve to. Pierce: Well, you may already have a problem. Have you seen this? She sets a newspaper in front of him. Wintringham: Yes. Pierce: You've been very unlucky. The case is being investigated by a man called Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle. Wintringham: Do you know him? Pierce: Met him last September. He is not the provincial policeman you expected, Colonel Wintringham. He won't leave this alone and he may even find his way to you. Wintringham: I rather doubt it. Pierce: I'm telling you, he's dangerous. Wintringham: This whole situation is dangerous, Miss Pierce. That's why I took the action I did in the first place. "Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle, Hastings Constabulary." He drops the newspaper into a wastepaper basket. Wintringham: Forget him. Police station. Milner and Foyle arrive together Foyle: You speak to Fenner? Milner: No, sir. It's rather strange. I went to his home last night and spoke to his wife. She thought he was still with us. Foyle: Where's he gone, then? Milner: I don't know, but he wasn't at home, and he didn't open the shop, either. As they walk through into the back Sergeant Rivers stops them. Rivers: Mr Foyle, sir. There's a young lady been waiting to see you. Says her name is Marion Greenwood. The woman from the photograph on a chair outside Foyle's office. Foyle: Right. Rivers hands some raffle tickets to Milner. Rivers: Your raffle tickets. Marion stands up as Foyle approaches her. Marion: Um, you're the policeman investigating the death... well, the explsin in Alberry Street? Foyle: Yes. Come in. He leads her into the office. Foyle: Sit down. Milner follows them in and closes the door as they both sit down. Marion: Are you sure it's William? Foyle: Not exactly. Er, because I'm afraid whoever it was has suffered rather extensive injuries. Marion: Yes. Foyle: In fact, all we've got to go on is a watch. Marion: A gold watch? Milner takes it out of an envelope and shows it to her. Marion: It's W- it's William's. Milner: Do you know where he got it? Marion: No. He always had it. I think it was a birthday present. Milner: We also found a letter addressed to you in the room he was renting. He gives her the letter. She reads it. Marion: Oh, God. But this is so stupid. He's telling me he klled himself because of me. What, what am I meant to do? Am I meant to feel guilty? Is that what he wanted? It isn't fair. It wasn't like that between us. Foyle: How did you meet? Marion: Erm... I was working in a bookshop. Well, it was more of a book depository, if you know what I mean. It's closed now. Milner: The one on Alberry Street? Marion: Yes. We bumped into each other one lunchtime and just sort of clicked. Foyle: What was his job? Marion: No idea. Erm, he was in London a lot of the time. It was all very hush-hush. Foyle: Did you ever meet the family? Marion: No. No, his father is a major general or something. Sir Giles Messinger. Um, they've got a mansion somewhere outside Hastings, but I was never allowed anywhere near. Not good enough, I suppose. Foyle: So, what exactly were things like between you? Marion: We were friends. Well... We were more than that. We used to meet at the bookshop. It was the only place we could get any privacy. Foyle: He had a key? Marion: Mmm. Yes, we both did. I had copies made. Look, I know what you must be thinking, but it was all just a game, really. I liked him, but I didn't love him. And then I met someone else, who's... Milner: And you told him? Marion: He was terribly upset. He couldn't live without me. He said that. Oh, I didn't believe him. I thought it was all just words. I never thought he'd... She starts to cry. Foyle watches her. Later. Foyle and Milner walk through the hallways of the police station. Milner: Who is Sir Giles Messinger, sir? Foyle: He's fairly big in Whitehall. Ministry For Economic Warfare, something like that, but also rumoured to be associated with Military Intelligence. Milner: Like father like son, perhaps. Both in the cloak-and-dagger business? Foyle: Quite possibly. Messinger estate. Sam paces outside the house, smoking while she waits. Lounge. Foyle and Milner are with Sir Giles and his wife Anne. Foyle: And I'm very sorry to have had to be the one to break this to you, sir. Sir Giles: It can't be. He sits down beside his wife and clasps her hands. Sir Giles: Are you sure there's no mistake? You... You said there was a, a problem of identification. Foyle: Yes, but a pocket watch was, er, found on the body. Sir Giles: My son had no pocket watch, not that I knew of. Foyle: With his initials and a date, the 5th of April, 1938. Anne: That was his birthday. His 21st. Foyle: Look, we can, er, We can come back another time, if you'd rather? Sir Giles: No. No. Let's get this over and done with. Foyle: Is this, er, his handwriting? Milner brings out the letter and Messinger puts his glasses on to read. Sir Giles: Yes. What is this? Foyle: It's a letter he seems to have written to a young woman he was apparently seeing. Anne: What was her name? Sir Giles: Marion. Milner: Marion Greenwood. Anne: He never mentioned her. We never met. He never brought her here. Foyle: When did you last see him? Sir Giles: Hmm? Oh, about two weeks ago. He came for luncheon. He was in a strange mood. Excitable. He never talked about any girl. We didn't, er... We didn't really see as much of him as we would have liked to. Er, we weren't close. Particularly recently. Both had our work. Foyle: What was it that he did? Sir Giles: I'm afraid I can't discuss that. Anne: Giles. Sir Giles: It's classified, Anne. You know that. I will, of course, report his death to his superiors. Seems fairly clear that it's got nothing to do with his work. Foyle: Can we be sure of that? Sir Giles: Well, you, you told me yourself. It's all because of some girl. Oh, I, I take it you have spoken to her? Milner: Yes, sir. Sir Giles: Beggars belief. Look, erm, if you have nothing more to ask me, I'd prefer it if you left. Foyle: Yes, of course, but, er, your son's death isn't as clear to us as it seems to be to you and, er, I'm afraid there may be, er, more to ask you. He and Milner leave. Outside. The two of them emerge from the house. Milner: Well, they raised more questions than they answered. They didn't know his girlfriend, and if they didn't give him the watch for his 21st, who did? Anne comes out of the side gate to intercept them. Anne: Mr Foyle! I shouldn't be speaking to you, but there's something I think you should know. William was here two weeks ago, as Giles said. He was excitable, it's true, but it was more than that. I thought he was afraid. Foyle: Of what? Anne: I don't know. He and his father talked about the wr and what they were doing, but they never included me. He was here with a young man, a Pole by the name of Jan Komorowski. Er, it, it was clear they were working together, in a place called Hill House in Levenham. Um, I shouldn't know this, but I heard them talking when I was in the kitchen. Messinger (offscreen): Anne? Foyle: Levenham? Anne: I can't tell you any more, but, please, Mr Foyle, if something did happen to William, if things aren't as they seem, you will let me know? She heads back through the gate, and meets Giles coming out. Sir Giles: What did you tell them? Anne: Nothing. There's the sound of the car driving away. Sir Giles: This was all my fault, you know. Anne: No. Sir Giles: Yes. I was never a good father to him. He was determined to spite me. Anne: No, Giles. Sir Giles: Oh, God, poor William. Yes, I drove him to it. It's my fault. Howard (voiceover): Well, it's good news, Christopher. Foyle and Charles Howard are sharing a restaurant table. Howard: It's completely unorthodox, you know. Normally, they'd be looking inside the Navy, but times are hard, beggars can't be choosers. Foyle: Oh, thanks for that. Howard: What I mean is, to hell with the protocol. They need a first-class mind and it might as well be yours. Foyle: Well, Charles, thank you. I appreciate it. There's something I want to ask you. Howard: Go ahead. You're paying for lunch. You might as well get your money's worth. Foyle: What can you tell me about Giles Messinger? Howard: Sir Giles Messinger? Not much. Not without getting sht. He's SIS. Secret Intelligence Service. Very senior, very influential. He used to run Section D, but they took half his men away from him and since then he's been like a- like a wounded tiger, mauling anyone who gets in his way. If you want a word of advice, you'll steer well clear of him. Foyle: Bit late for that. I was there this morning. Howard: Why? No, don't tell me. I don't think I want to know. But I'm serious, Christopher. Be careful. You don't want to get on the wrong side of a man like Messinger, not unless you want to spend the rest of your career back on the bat. Foyle's office. He's speaking with Milner. Foyle: And Messinger was working with a man called Jan Komorowski in Levenham somewhere. Sam steps into the room. Sam: Levenham? In Hampshire? Foyle: Which is where you and I are off to. Sam: Well, that's where my uncle lives. He's the vicar at St Mary's. She points out Levenham on the wall map. Milner: The same as your father? Sam: Yes. We've got quite a few vicars in the family. My grandfather was a bishop. Foyle (offscreen): You carry on here, Milner. Milner: Yes, sir. Foyle: Get back to the landlady. See if, erm- see how long she's really been living in Hastings, er, and somehow find out where her husband went to school, though she doesn't really seem to want to tell us, does she? Milner: No, and she identified this pocket watch without so much as glancing at it, and we still don't know where it's from. Foyle: Have another word with the, um, the girl as well. Marion Greenwood. Has Fenner turned up yet? Milner: Er, we're still looking. Foyle: Well, keep at it. Milner: How long will you be gone, sir? Foyle: Day or two. They all leave the office. Messinger estate. A military vehicle is parked outside. Wintringham: I felt I should see you as soon as I heard the news, Sir Giles. He's in the lounge with the Messingers. Giles has his back turned, looking away out of the window. Wintringham: I know you and I have had our differences, but this is a tragedy. I can't tell you how sorry I am. Anne: When did you last see our son? Wintringham: Last week. He'd been pulled out of an operation and he was disappointed. I gave him a few days' leave to get over it. I assumed he'd come here. Anne: We didn't see him. We didn't even know he'd taken a room in Hastings. Wintringham: He was a first-class member of my team, Lady Messinger. You have all our condolences. None of us could have seen this coming. Sir Giles: We had a policeman here this morning. A man called Foyle. Wintringham: Oh, yes? Sir Giles: He was implying there are some loose ends, concerning my son's death. Wintringham: Loose ends? Sir Giles: He wasn't very specific, but his whole approach suggested some sort of criminal investigation. Wintringham: I'm afraid Mr Foyle is something of a troublemaker, sir. He has quite a reputation for... how can I put it? Extending his authority into places where it has no right to be. Anne: He seemed a very honest man to me. Sir Giles: I want you to know something, Colonel Wintringham. I don't need to tell you my views of your organisation, and if Churchill had listened to me, you'd never even have had a chance. Wintringham: Sir Giles, I don't think- Sir Giles: That my own son chose to defy me and join you is still a matter of profound disappointment. But if I find that you were, in any way, responsible for his death, if, in some way, you drove him to take his own life... I will destroy you. I want you to know that. Wintringham: Yes, sir. I understand. Sir Giles: Now I'd ask you to leave. Wintringham gets up and straightens his uniform before leaving. Prison cell. A German officer is shouting at Jan Komorowski, who sits on a bed with his hands bound. Interrogator: Aufstehen! Mark Nicholson, previously seen in the group with Pierce at the church and now also dressed in German uniform, pulls Komorowski up and manhandles him out into the corridor. Interrogator: Vorwarts! Nicholson: Mach schon! They bring Komorowski into a larger room and force him down into a chair. There's a bathtub full of water behind him. Another German officer sits watching from a chair. Interrogator: Hinsetzen. Du heisst Jan Komorowski. Komorowski: Nein. Interrogator: Du bist ein Spion. Komorowski: Nein. Meine Name ist Franz- Interrogator: Nein! Nein. Lug mich nicht an. Jetzt bekommen wir die Wahrheit. Pack ihn an! The two men drag him up and hold his head under the water in the bathtub for several seconds. Interrogator: Halt! They let him come up for air. German Officer: Noch mal. Interrogator: Unter! They hold his head under again. Later. Nicholson and the interrogator emerge from the cell block and head up some stairs into a large manor house. They stop in front of a window overlooking an asault course in the grounds, and both light cigarettes. Nicholson: I think that went rather well, don't you? His accent now sounds entirely English. Country road. Sam and Foyle are driving along. Foyle: Is Milner all right? Sam: Sir? Foyle: Always in early, last to leave, seems very quiet. Anything the matter? Sam: Not that I know of, sir. Nothing I'd care to repeat. Foyle: Oh, I see. Sam: We're nearly there, sir. That's Old Parkin's farm. I used to go scrumping there when I was visiting Uncle Aubrey. Old Parkin once chased me for a quarter of a mile. Foyle: What, around the orchard? Sam: No, I was nowhere near the orchard. Used to chase me everywhere. Oh, there's the church! She points. The car pulls up outside St Mary's church. Aubrey, working in the garden, comes over to meet them as they get out. Aubrey: Samantha, my dear, what a treat. It's been far too long. How are you? They embrace and he kisses her on both cheeks. Sam: Uncle Aubrey. Aubrey: And you must be Mr Foyle. Iain's told me all about you. A pleasure. They shake hands. Foyle: Mr Stewart. Aubrey: Oh, Aubrey, please. Er, come in, have a glass of wine. Er, I make it myself. Greengage this year. Particularly good, even though I say it myself. Er, are you going to stay? Foyle: Well, it- Aubrey: No, no, I insist on it. There's plenty of room. And, er, in any case, it's strange you should be here. Divine providence, one might almost say. Come. Come in. Come in. He leads the way into the church. Aubrey: Samantha, take Mr Foyle's coat, would you? Ah. So, what brings you to this neck of the woods? Sam: You know that place Hill House, Uncle? Aubrey: Ah. Yeah, I had a feeling you were going to ask me about that. Yes, it's less than a mile away. It used to be a sanatorium, but it was requisitioned. Foyle: Who by? Aubrey: Oh, the military. Ministry of Information, propaganda, that sort of thing. Nobody really knows. There you are. He gestures for them to take seats in the lounge. Aubrey: Er, we see quite a few of them in the church from time to time, but it's best not to ask too many questions. Foyle: Nothing else you can tell us about the place? Aubrey: Well, yes, there might be. Hmm. As a matter of fact, there is, yes. Look... I, I suppose it's nothing worth investigating, but... I've been growing increasingly uneasy about these new people. Sam: The Hill House lot? Aubrey picks up a bottle of wine to pour the three of them glasses Aubrey: Yes. There was a rumour going around the whole lot of them were German spies. Some of them certainly behave that way. One chap in particular. He's always loitering around the place. And then... there have been incidents. Couple of nights ago, I was called out to one of my parishioners. Mrs Richards. She's very elderly. There you are. He hands Foyle a wineglass. Foyle: Thank you. He gives one to Sam as well. Aubrey: There you are, darling. The caller claimed to be her son. He said she was dying. So, of course, I set off at once. Even though, God knows, it meant cycling six and a half miles, in the dark, most of it uphill. Sam: Cycling? Aubrey: Yes, yes. We don't get petrol coupons for that sort of thing, Sam. Cheers! The three of them drink. Aubrey: Hmm. So, when I got there, it was a hoax. Mrs Richards was already in bed when I arrived. I mean, she was perfectly well. Her son's in Africa. So we had a cup of tea together and I cycled all the way back home again. How's the wine? Foyle: It's, erm- Sam: Very... green. Aubrey chuckles. Aubrey: Yes. Foyle: What else has happened, then? He sets his glass down on the side table. Aubrey: Well, the next day, someone smashed a vase on one of the graves. What makes it worse, the grave was only one or two days old. Sam: Who died? Aubrey: Oh, Jenny Harper's boy, Ted. Sam: Ted Harper? Aubrey: He was a young man, a builder. Fell off a roof, broke his neck. Sam: Oh. I liked him. That's, that's terrible. Foyle: And the vase? Aubrey: Scattered over the grass in the graveyard. A wanton act of vandalism. Foyle: And you think all of this is connected to Hill House? Aubrey: I don't know, it might be, it's just that I have a feeling. I may be quite wrong, but this sort of thing never happened before they arrived. Foyle: Well, I'm going up there later. I'll do my best to find out. Aubrey: You're actually going there, to Hill House? Well, that's marvellous. Mind you, I doubt they'll let you in. Sam and Foyle are driving towards a roadblock. Sam: What I don't understand, sir, if William Messinger klled himself because of a girl in Hastings, what makes you think it's got anything to do with whatever's going on here? Foyle: Well, I don't know yet. That's why we're here. Just curious. They stop at the roadblock and Foyle gets out. Foyle: Afternoon. Guard: I'm afraid there's no entry here, sir, not without authorisation. Foyle: Oh, right. I'm a policeman, er, looking into the death of someone who may have worked here. Guard: And who might that have been, then? Foyle: A man called William Messinger. Guard: Don't know anyone by that name, sir. Foyle: Right. What about a Pole called Jan Komorowski? Guard: No one here by that name either, sir. Foyle: No? Anyone here who might be able to help me with this? Someone, er, more superior, less obstructive, maybe? Guard: And what's your name, then? Foyle brings out his ID to hand the guard. Guard: Wait here. He goes into the guard hut and dials the phone. Wintringham's office. He puts the phone down. Pierce is standing in front of his desk. Wintringham: It's him. Pierce: I told you he'd find us. Wintringham: I can't see how. The Messingers. William's parents. Pierce: He saw them? Well, Sir Giles won't have said anything. Wintringham: Then how? Pierce: I told you. He's clever. Wintringham: Maybe we can find out. Maybe we should ask him. He stands up. Pierce: You're not going to let him in? He goes over to the window to look out. Wintringham: Why not? You know what they say about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. Pierce: Yeah, well, I'm not sure he's either. Wintringham: If we bring him in here, we can control him. Official secrets and all that. Outside, he's a loose cannon. Pierce: We've still got an agent working against us. Wintringham: Messinger's man, you mean? What about him? Well, he may tell him that Foyle was here. Wintringham: That's too bad. More to the point, we still don't know who he is. Maybe your Mr Foyle can help us. He goes over and picks up the phone. Pierce: James, if you'll take one piece of advice from me, it will be not to invite him in. Wintringham: Advice rejected. He speaks into the phone. Wintringham: Send him up. Mrs dke's house. There's a knock at the front door. dke hurries to answer it, carrying a suitcase. dke: Oh. Mr Milner. Milner: Mrs dke. dke: Come in. Milner: Thank you. He enters the hall and sees her suitcases. Milner: Are you going somewhere? dke: Yes. I have a sister in Slough. I'm going there for the weekend. How can I help you, Mr Milner? I've told you everything I know. Milner: Well, there are still a couple of questions. dke: Oh, yes? Milner: About your husband. dke: Ernest? What's he got to do with anything? Milner: You didn't mention which school he went to. dke: What? Milner: Just for the record. dke: It was St Anthony's in the Hillborough Road. You know, Mr Milner, I have to say I don't understand this. You're treating me like a common criminal. Milner: I'm not treating you like a criminal, Mrs dke, but I would like to know why you're lying to me. dke: I beg your pardon? Milner: There's no record of an Ernest dke ever having lived or died in Hastings. And you said that you've lived here a long time. This house was rented by a local solicitor's office just one year ago. dke: I didn't say I'd lived here a long time, you misunderstood me. I've lived in Hastings twenty years. That's what I meant. Milner: How long do you plan to be away? dke: I told you, two days. Milner: Make sure it isn't any longer. I will need to speak to you again. He leaves. Hill House. Foyle sits in a large office, waiting. Pierce enters. Pierce: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Miss Pierce. What a surprise. They shake hands. Pierce: Not for me. I rather expected I'd see you again. Foyle: Did you? Still with the, um, the same organisation, the Special Operations...? Pierce: Executive. Foyle: Executive. Pierce: Yes. Foyle: Oh. You based here? Pierce: This is one of many houses we use. Foyle: Mmm. What do you do here, then? Pierce: Well, I'll tell you. With great reluctance. You understand this information is classified? No one in the country knows who we are. No one knows what we do. We were created as a final resort, Mr Foyle. At present, the way things are going, we may be all that stands between England and defeat. We are what you might call the Department of Dirty Tricks. We're here to break all the rules of wr as they were known. We've only one aim. To win. Follow me. She leads him through the building. Pierce: The SOE was created last July to coordinate subversion and sabotage against the enemy overseas. The arts of ungentlemanly warfare. That's what we teach here. Foyle: William Messinger was one of your, um, agents? Pierce: He was one of our students, yes. The SOE has a number of finishing schools across the country. Foyle: Oh, is that what you call them? Pierce: Well, they're training centres where we teach Morse, demolition, resistance to interrogation. Silent killings. We deal in mrder as well, Mr Foyle. They enter a classroom where Leo Maccoby is lecturing a group of students. Maccoby: You have to know how to make people work for you. We've looked at patriotism, religious and/or political motivation, personal sympathy, greed. He stops as he spots Pierce and Foyle. Pierce: Oh, please excuse us, er, Mr Maccoby. Do carry on. Maccoby: I want to move on now to open and covert bribery, but always remember the first lesson. A man that can be bribed, by his very nature, is untrustworthy. He and Foyle eye each other as Pierce leads Foyle through the room. The two of them emerge into the grounds. Foyle: Where d'you get your instructors from? Pierce: From many places. Stafford (offscreen): The reason we do this is quite simple. Major Eric Stafford holds a gn on another man in uniform as he speaks to a group of others. Stafford: It's to kll. See, one sht may kll him, but it's always better to make absolutely certain with two. Good day, Miss Pierce. Pierce: Major Stafford. Do carry on. Stafford: When you put one sht into a man, it's rare that it drops him immediately. His nervous system doesn't collapse for several seconds. So two shts in quick succession is the answer. Bang. Bang. Pierce and Foyle head back into the building and approach a staircase leading up. Pierce: Major Eric Stafford. He's quite a remarkable man. He was a policeman, like yourself. Foyle: Was he? Pierce: Yeah. Spent ten years with the Municipal Police in Shanghai. Foyle: Well, William Messinger is the, er, the reason I'm here. Pierce: Let me introduce you to my commanding officer. Wintringham (voiceover): We were all shocked to hear of the death of poor William. He stands in his office, looking out of the window. Wintringham: And by his own hand. What a terrible waste. He was bright, he was intelligent, deeply committed to the SOE. I can't think of any student more determined to succeed. Foyle sits listening while Pierce stands in the corner of the room. Foyle: Strange he should have taken his own life, then, don't you think? Wintringham heads back towards the desk. Wintringham: Well, there was another side to him. He was immature. He was passionate, sometimes even foolhardy. An unhappy love affair. I agree with you. It's a waste. It may also have been that he was disappointed. We were about to send him on a mission overseas. Foyle: Where was that? Wintringham: That's not relevant. William was keen to prove himself, but, in the end, I decided he wasn't ready. Another agent from another station went in his place. Maybe that's what threw him. Even so, klling himself like that? I find it hard to believe. Foyle: Jan Komorowski I understand was a friend of his. Is he here with you? Wintringham: I'd be interested to know how you've come by that name. Foyle: Not relevant. Wintringham chuckles briefly. Wintringham: He's from Warsaw. Fought with the Polish Resistance. Good man. We have quite a few Poles here. Also French, Canadian, even one or two Germans. Would you like to meet them? Foyle: Thank you. Wintringham: Miss Pierce will be delighted to arrange it. Aubrey Stewart's house. Sam is attempting to glue the pieces of a broken glass vase together. Aubrey enters the room. Aubrey: Samantha, my dear, what are you doing? Sam: This is the vase from Ted Harper's grave. I'm fixing it. Aubrey: Why? Sam: Well, I was thinking about what you were saying about all the strange things that have been happening here and I thought maybe I could help. Aubrey: Ah, yes. You always did want to be a detective, didn't you? Even when you were a little girl. I remember you always reading those terrible books by Edgar Wallace. Sam: Well, I am a detective now. I've been with the police a whole year now, you know. Aubrey: Mmm. Why the vase? Sam: Well, I have a theory. It occurred to me that your hoax telephone caller must have wanted to get you out of the way, which means he must have been looking for something. Aubrey: Yes? Sam: Something valuable. Like this vase, for example. Maybe he tried to steal it and he dropped it, and I'm trying to fix it so I can figure out if it's worth anything. I mean, it, it could be an antique. Aubrey: Yes, of course. The trouble is, actually it came from Woolworths. Sam: Did it? Aubrey: Yes. Sam: How do you know? Aubrey: Mrs Harper told me, erm, Ted's mother. Sam: Oh, I see. Aubrey: Sorry. She puts the pieces of the vase back down and sighs. Sam: Uncle Aubrey, you mentioned something about a loiterer, a man. in connection with a German spy. Aubrey: Oh, I didn't exactly mean that. It's just that I noticed him around the church. I don't think he's from Hill House. He, he always seems to be watching from the side. Sam: Well, what does he look like? Aubrey: Well, he's as bald as a billiard ball, he's mid-forties, rather thin. Sam: And he's from the village? Aubrey: Well, I've seen him around quite a few times, yes. Sam: I don't suppose you know where? Aubrey: No. Hill House grounds. Wintringham, Pierce and Foyle are walking along. Wintringham: I do want to make one thing clear, Mr Foyle. This house, these grounds, they come under my jurisdiction and, while you're here, so do you. Foyle: What would that mean, exactly? Wintringham: You don't ask my men about... Someone aims a rfle at the three of them from a window up above. Wintringham: You'll restrict your investigation to Messinger, and before you leave, you'll report back directly to me. Is that clear? Foyle: Certainly is. Wintringham: You'll join us for dinner, I hope. I'll get you a bed for the night. Miss Pierce will arrange for your things to be sent on. Up above, Leo Maccoby looks through the rfle sight. He aims at Foyle, lightly drawing back the trigger, but lowers the rfle without shting. Police station, evening. Sergeant Rivers sits typing and looks round as he sees Milner come in, heading for his office. Rivers: Mr Milner! Milner: Sergeant? Rivers: It's bad news, I'm afraid. Mrs dke. Milner: You lost her. Rivers: I had two of my men follow her, like you said, Sykes and Hodges. They're good lads, they've got their heads screwed on the right way. Milner: What happened? Rivers: She went into the railway station, went into the ladies' convenience. That's one place they couldn't follow. They waited outside, but, er, she never came out. In the end they got the supervisor to take them in, but there was no one there. Milner: "The Lady Vanishes." Rivers: It was a bit like that. That's what they said. Milner: There was no Ernest dke at St Anthony's, either. Rivers: Who's he? The husband? Milner: Deceased. Did your men check which trains were leaving at that time? Rivers: There were two. The main train to London, and one heading west, calling at Brighton and Levenham. Milner: Levenham? Rivers: I've got one bit of good news, though. Your Mr Fenner has turned up again. Hospital ward. Milner is there questioning Fenner, who lies in a bed with a bandaged head and neck brace. Fenner: You want to know about crime? What happened to me, that's a crime. It's an asault. Milner: Can you tell me what happened, Mr Fenner? Fenner: Somebody ht me. Milner: A customer? Fenner: From behind. I didn't see who it was. It was like a bloody tree coming down on the back of my neck. Then I woke up in here. Milner: Did you see anything at all? Fenner: Listen, a car pulled up outside the bookshop and three men got out. They were carrying something. Milner: What? Fenner: A sack of potatoes? I don't know. It was heavy. It took three of them to manage it. Milner: They were carrying it into the bookshop? Fenner: Well, I didn't find out, did I? 'Cause somebody crept up behind me. Doctor said I was lucky not to have my neck broken. Milner: Thank you, Mr Fenner. He stands up. Fenner: Hey! Hey, I hope you're gonna do something about this. I'm in pain, you know. I can hardly move. Hill House. Night. In a large shared lounge, someone sets a gramophone playing Maurice Chevalier's La Mer, while a woman sets out plates on a dining table. Maccoby is at a chess board in the corner. Wintringham enters with Foyle. Wintringham: Gentlemen! Let me introduce you. This is Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle. Jan Komorowski. Major Stafford. Jacques Dumont. Leo Maccoby. Maccoby: We've already met. Wintringham: Mark Nicholson. I've leave the others to introduce themselves. Mr Foyle is here investigating the death of William Messinger. He has my full authority in this matter. Please. He gestures Foyle forward. Foyle: Thank you. Wintringham: I'll leave you to it. Nicholson: A glass of wine, Mr Foyle? We're not actually used to company here, or perhaps you don't drink when you're on duty? Stafford: Don't be such a fool, Nicholson. Cigarette? He stands up, approaching Foyle. Foyle: No, thanks. I don't. Stafford: You really here about Messinger? Foyle: Why else would I be? Stafford: They don't tell us the truth here. As for Messinger, a waste of time. Komorowski: You shouldn't speak about him like that. Stafford: All that work, that training and he wastes it by klling himself. Foyle: Did they tell you that? Stafford snorts and turns away. Foyle: Er, Mr Komorowski, I was told that, erm, you and he were friends. Nicholson: Oh, we're all friends here. Nicholson brings Foyle a glass of wine. Maccoby: Some more friendly than others. Foyle looks over at Maccoby before taking the wine. Foyle: Thank you. There's a writer called Mark Nicholson. Are you Mark Nicholson the writer? Nicholson: Oh, you flatter me. In another life, I used to write crime stories. Did you read them? Foyle: Er, one or two. Nicholson: Yeah, I suppose it'd be a waste of time for you. You'd always guess the ending. Stafford: If you bothered to get that far. Nicholson: To hell with you, Stafford. Anyway, there you are. I've given up mrder and intrigue. Traded it for the real thing. Dumont: I do not believe you are really a police officer. Komorowski: If he's not a policeman, who is he? Dumont: This is a test. Komorowski: Oh. It's true, there are always tests. You meet a girl. She makes eyes to you. You feel lonely. You want to talk with her. She asks you what you do, where you're from. And you tell her. Nicholson: But she's an agent. The next thing you know, you're out. Happens all the time. Have you, er, you seen the bar? You'll find it unusually well stocked. Dumont: Yeah, that, too, is a test. Nicholson: They watch how much you drink. You can't do anything without somebody watching. Maccoby: Oh, he's who he says he is, all right. Mr Foyle and I know each other. You know, I hoped I'd never see you again. Foyle: The feeling's entirely mutual. Nicholson: Oh, this all sounds very intriguing. Are you going to tell us what, er, passed between you? Maccoby: You're a bloody nancy boy, Nicholson. You can forget it. Komorowski: So, Mr Foyle, would you care to join us for dinner? Dumont: Oh, I wouldn't recommend it. The food here is disgusting. Stafford: Prefer the cuisine in Paris, do you? Dumont: Of course. Stafford: Well, we'll have to see if we can, er, drop you on Maxim's, eh. Without a parachute. Nicholson: Don't worry about us, Mr Foyle. We may seem like we hate each other's guts, but actually we're a perfect team. Stafford: And I'm a monkey's uncle. Nicholson: Oh, don't bring your relations into this, old chap. Wintringham's office. He brings Pierce a drink where she's sitting at his desk. Wintringham: Oh, I got a letter this morning. From Admiral Francis. He's finally come through on his promise. We've got a ship. We can start thinking about Brittany. He shows her the letter. Pierce: I think we should wait. Wintringham sighs. Pierce: Have you already forgotten Facteur? Wintringham: Of course not. Pierce: We klled him, you know. If you'd only waited for the right information, it never would have happened. Wintringham: We had the transport. We had no choice. Pierce: We should have waited. Wintringham: The transport wouldn't wait. You know, I sometimes wonder how long you and I can carry on working together like this. Pierce: So do I. Perhaps we should let London decide. Staircase. Maccoby comes down as Foyle is passing. Maccoby: Oh, you never give up, do you, Mr Foyle? A man blows himself up in Hastings and you follow the pieces all the way here. Foyle: What are you doing here, Mason? Maccoby: They need me. And it's Maccoby now. Foyle: Well, you can change the name, but you can't change the man. They really need a brothel owner? Maccoby: I don't care what you think about me, I was providing a service and I never did anybody any harm, and you put me away for seven years. Foyle: Well, according to my reckoning you should still be in there, shouldn't you? Maccoby: They got me out. I know about people, you see. I understand them, their weaknesses. The Germans are just the same as us. You want to know all their secrets, wait till they're in bed. The wr's changed everything. I'm useful now. I do my bit. You're the one who's redundant. Foyle moves to go and Maccoby stops her. Maccoby: Er, I'd watch my step, if I were you, Mr Foyle. You could get hurt here. You could get klled here. There are hundreds of ways to kll a man and we know them all. Foyle: One of them used on William Messinger? Maccoby laughs. Maccoby: He klled himself. Nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with anyone. Just one of those things. Foyle walks on. Village. Sam is riding along on a bicycle. As she approaches the Red Lion pub, the publican Cooper comes out. Cooper: Samantha! What are you doing down here? Sam: How are you, Mr Cooper? Cooper: Getting by. I heard you were working with the police over in Hastings. Sam: Actually, I'm on an inquiry right now. Uncle said you might have someone staying here. Cooper: No, I've no one in at the moment. He turns to speak to a man unloading crates from a lorry. Cooper: There's two more of those. Then he turns back to Sam. Cooper: What name were you looking for? Sam: We don't have a name, but I can give you a description, though. He's a completely bald man, in his forties, rather thin. He may have something to do with Hill House. Cooper: Nope, I've no one in. You could try Parkin's place. Sam: Farmer Parkin? Cooper: He's got a lodger. Came about the same time as the rest of them. I've seen him a couple of times, and he hasn't got much on top. What are you after him for, then? Sam: I'm afraid it's hush-hush. Cooper: I'm sure old Parkin'll be pleased to see you. Always had a soft spot for you. Sam: Don't I know it. Thanks, then. She wheels her bike onwards. Cooper: Bye, Sam. Hill House library. Nicholson is shuffling cards as Foyle walks by his table. Nicholson: Name a card. Any card. He spreads the deck out on the tabletop. Foyle: Queen of spades. Nicholson picks it out from the deck. Foyle: Do anything else here apart from card tricks, Mr Nicholson? Nicholson: Let me show you something. He brings out a coin. Nicholson: A thrupenny piece. He makes it disappear. Nicholson: Gone. Foyle: Well, if we can't bat the Germans, we can always, erm, entertain them. Nicholson chuckles a little. Nicholson: The, er, the move I just showed you is called "The French Drop". See how the coin drops? He demonstrates how he seems to take the coin from his left hand into his right, when in fact it just falls into his left palm. Nicholson: But it's the movement of the right hand that draws the eye. Classic misdirection. Bit like you and this business with William Messinger, perhaps. Foyle: What does that mean? Nicholson: The only reason anyone would make a... such a fuss about William is because of his father. Is he the one who sent you? Foyle sits down opposite Nicholson, but says nothing. Nicholson: Sir Giles Messinger. I worked for him briefly at Section D, before I was recruited here. And that's the whole point, you see. We've stolen his turf. He feels undermined and now he'll do anything he can to see us shut down, just to ease his own wounded vanity. Foyle: His son ever talk about him? Nicholson: William, er, didn't really get on with his father. And you, er, you can see why, can't you? William klled himself because of some girl, and now Sir Giles is trying to use his death, trying to pin the blame on us. I take it that's why you're here. Foyle: Well, I've told you why I'm here. Nicholson: Then maybe I do you a disservice. But I'll tell you one thing. All this may just seem like party tricks to you. Misdirection, sleight of hand. But think what would happen, if we can make the Germans think there are 100 Spitfires in a field when, in fact, there are none. Suppose we can make an advancing army look like an empty street? Outside. Stafford is giving another demonstration, showing his group a bmb. Stafford: Battery, explsives, timer. Remember colour-coding. Blue, ten minutes. Now, I think the ten minutes are just about up. Here comes the train. He points at a cordoned-off area. There's a small explsin, and then a slightly larger one. Stafford: Now, if we come across one of our German friends, you can always offer him your pencil. Foyle stands in the background, watching this from a distance. Komorowski approaches him. Komorowski: Mr Foyle? Foyle: Yes? Komorowski: Can I have a word? Foyle: Yeah. They move away together as Stafford tucks a pencil into the pocket of a cloth dummy. Stafford: Let's stand well back. He takes a few paces away, and the pencil explodes. Foyle and Komorowski walk along a path through the grounds. Komorowski: Why did you say that about William? Is there any doubt about his su1c1de? Foyle: What do you think? Komorowski: I don't know. He would have said something to me. I was his friend. They sit down on a bench overlooking a pond. Foyle: Did you meet his girlfriend? Komorowski: No. He never spoke of a girl. Foyle: Met his parents. You went to his home. His mother said he was, erm, in a state about something. What was that? Komorowski: He was excited about going to Rouen, in Northern France. But, in the end, he didn't go. The Colonel said he wasn't ready. At the last minute, he changed his mind. If William klled himself, it was because of that, not because of any girl. Anyway, it would have made no difference. Foyle: Meaning? Komorowski: They sent another person in his place, someone from another station. An agent called, erm, Facteur. But I hear that the mission was not a success. The agent was klled. So, see what I'm saying, Mr Foyle? If William had not taken his life, he would still have died. Maybe it was his time. Village. The bald man is walking along. Sam wheels her bike along slowly behind him, watching. He goes into a telephone box and picks up the phone. Sam stops to watch him for a moment, then moves on. Hill House lounge. Dumont is doing a newspaper crossword at the breakfast table. He looks up and puts his pen away when he sees Foyle coming, stacking his pile of books on top of the paper. Foyle: Morning. Dumont: Good morning, Mr Foyle. Foyle picks up a cup to pour himself some tea. Foyle: Are you missing home? Whereabouts in France are you from? Dumont: Er, Paris. Foyle: Oh, really? Which part? Dumont: Er, Montparnasse. Do excuse me, Mr Foyle. I have a class in a minute. He gets up, picking up his stack of books but leaving the newspaper behind. Foyle: Monsieur Dumont. Paper? He indicates the newspaper. Dumont: Thank you. Foyle: Did you, um, did you know William Messinger? Dumont: I met him a few times, yes, but, er, no, I can't say that I knew him. Foyle: Knew he was going to France? Dumont: Well, I heard he had a mission, yes, but, er, it was cancelled at the last second. Foyle: Was he angry about that? Dumont: Angry? No. He was, er, he, he was upset. He thought he was ready, but, er, well, it seems he was not. I'm sorry, Mr Foyle, there's not much I can tell you. I really didn't know him so well. Foyle: Why did you, erm, throw your cap into the ring, so to speak? Dumont: I'm sorry, my "cap into the ring"? Foyle: Erm, to be a part of this. Dumont: Ah! Well, that's easy. You ask any Frenchman what he believes, he will tell you the same. To see htler and his nzi parading in the heart of Paris, it is disgusting. Treading their filthy boots all over our culture, the Louvre, Notre Dame, can you imagine? And now, er, Le Stade De Colombes. I remember, Mr Foyle, when we bat you there at, er, football, maybe ten year ago. Foyle: 5-2. Yeah, I remember that. That hurt. Dumont: Well, no apologies. Foyle: Thank you for your time. Dumont: Oh, it's my pleasure. Foyle: I hope it's not long before you see Paris Montparnasse play again. Dumont: Yes. I hope so, too. Outside. A woman, Evelyn Cresswell, approaches the building. Inside, Foyle and Wintringham are walking along together. Foyle: I understand, er, Giles Messinger wanted to close you down, is that right? Wintringham: Someone's been speaking out of turn. Foyle: Recruiting his son, er, would seem odd on the face of it, then, wouldn't it? Wintringham: It was William who came to us. Of course, he may have been trying to spite his father. I couldn't say. Why d'you ask? Foyle: Just curious. Wintringham: You know, Mr Foyle, it occurs to me you would fit in very well here. I understand you're looking to do more for the wr effort. Foyle: Where d'you get that from? Wintringham: Why end up pen-pushing for Sir Percy Noble when we can use you here? I don't suppose you speak French? Foyle: D'you know, I have a feeling I wouldn't get on with the sort of people you employ here. Evelyn Cresswell enters the hallway behind them. Wintringham: Oh? You mean Leo Maccoby. Foyle: I know him as Leo Mason. Wintringham: You put him in prison. Waste of a good man. Foyle: Oh, you think so? He's a pimp. He was, er, employing girls of fifteen. Wintringham: A waste of a bad man, then. Cresswell catches up to them. Wintringham: Miss Cresswell. I wasn't expecting you so soon. It's the landlady, dke, though she's completely changed her mode of dress and way of speaking. Cresswell: I'm early, sir. Wintringham: This is Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle. Miss Evelyn Cresswell. Cresswell: How do you do? Wintringham: My secretary. Foyle: We've met. Cresswell: No, sir. I don't think so. Wintringham: Miss Cresswell, I have some letters ready to be typed. Cresswell: Yes, sir. She leaves. Wintringham: And we must call you your driver. Foyle: Thank you. Hastings police station. Rivers hurries to Milner's office. Rivers: Mr Milner! She's on the move. Milner: Marion Greenwood? Rivers: She took a taxi to Hastings station. She's waiting for the Brighton train. Milner: Same train as Mrs dke. What time does it leave? Rivers: Twenty minutes. I've got a car for you at the front. Aubrey Stewart's house. Sam (voiceover): I think I'm on to something. She's sitting at the breakfast table as Aubrey clears away dishes. Sam: The bald man. Aubrey: Don't tell me you've found him? Sam: He's got a room at Farmer Parkin's place. I followed him this morning. Aubrey: I think you should be very careful, my dear. Sam: He didn't do anything dangerous. He just made a call from a telephone box in Beeches Lane and then he went home to bed or something. I was hoping he'd come out again, but he never did. Aubrey: Well, at least you know where he lives. Sam: It's a start. Aubrey: Did you say Beeches Lane? Sam nods. Aubrey: Well, he couldn't have made the call from there. The telephone box is broken. Sam: I saw him. Aubrey: No, it's been down for weeks now. The- some soldiers cut through it on a training exercise. I'm sure it hasn't been repaired. Sam: Hmm. Hill House storages area. Maccoby takes a canister of powder from a shelf and opens it. Stafford passes by and sees him. Stafford: Maccoby? What are you doing in there? Maccoby: Nothing. Stafford: You shouldn't be in there. Maccoby: Get lost, Stafford. I don't take orders from you. Stafford: He's got you rattled, hasn't he, Mr Foyle? Maccoby: No. Stafford: Past catching up with you? Maccoby: He's nothing to me. Nothing. He leaves and Stafford closes the doors of the storage area behind him. Beeches Lane. There's a man in the telephone box with the phone to his ear. Sam wheels her bike along slowly, watching him. He puts the phone down and leaves. She waits a moment to make sure he's gone. Phone box. Sam enters and picks up the phone. There's no dialling tone. She searches the box, feeling around above eye level and looking in between the telephone directories. Then she opens the pull-out drawer in the base of the telephone. Inside is an envelope stamped 'Official' and 'Private & Confidential'. Hill House reception area. Stafford sits at the reception desk in the corner as Foyle comes in with a travel bag and sets it down, turning to go back out. Stafford: Mr Foyle! I hear you're leaving us today. Foyle: That's right, yeah. Stafford: I'm sorry we didn't get more of a chance to talk. Foyle: Oh, well. You, erm, you were a policeman, too, I believe, is that right? Stafford: Yeah, Municipal Police, Shanghai. A tough crowd, the Chinese. kll you as soon as look at you. Foyle: So, you know a lot about klling, then? Stafford: That's what we do here. Foyle: Enjoy it? Stafford: These people may seem mad to you. And when I first came here, that's how they seemed to me, but hundred years from now, people won't believe some of the things they came up with. Hidden radios. Exploding rats. Perfect forgeries of letters and IDs. Itching powder. It's true. They're going to put it in the nzi's underwear. I mean, maybe they are mad, but you can't blame them for trying. Foyle: Did you train, er, William Messinger? Stafford: You know they've got a powder that can make a car's wheels lock? They've invented that, too. Foyle: I'm sorry? Stafford: I'm not going to talk about poor William. I was a policeman and you're a policeman, but we're from different worlds, really. And the honest truth is you don't belong here. Foyle scoffs. Foyle: I'd agree with that. Stafford: Leave us alone, Mr Foyle. Don't tar us all with the same brush. Staircase. Maccoby stands up from a desk at the bottom as Wintringham is coming down. Maccoby: Why did you invite him here? Wintringham: I presume you're talking about Mr Foyle. Apparently, the two of you had a run-in in the past. Maccoby: He robbed me of seven years. Wintringham: Four years. We got you out. Maccoby: You shouldn't have had him here, Colonel Wintringham. He's been asking questions about William Messinger. He's gonna find you out. Wintringham: I have nothing to hide. Maccoby: No? Well, tell me this. Little William klled himself because of some girl? That's what we heard. But I knew him. He wasn't that sort. He didn't like girls. You know what I mean? Maybe I should have a word with Foyle about that. Wintringham: Maccoby, you- Maccoby: Or maybe... we should just get rid of him. Get him out of here. Permanently. You think about that. He walks away. Outside. Sam is waiting as Foyle comes down the steps. Sam: Good afternoon, sir! Foyle: Glad to see you. Sam: I was rather worried they weren't going to let you out. Foyle: So was I. They reach the car. Sam: So, what do they actually do here? Foyle: You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Sam: Are you going to? Foyle: Nope. They get into the car. Sam: Well, I won't ask, then. As they drive away, Pierce watches them from the balcony above. Sam and Foyle are driving along. Foyle: Did you speak to Milner? Sam: No, sir. I'm sorry, I've been rather busy. Foyle: Oh, yeah? Sam: Trying to help my uncle work out what's been going on. As a matter of fact, I may have found something. It was hidden in a telephone box. A letter, with a map. Someone must have left it there to be picked up and I took it. Foyle: And where is it now? Sam: I've got it with me. Sam veers left to avoid a car coming the other way along the narrow road. Marion Greenwood is in the back. Sam: Sir, wasn't that- Foyle: Marion Greenwood. Yes, it was. Sam: D'you want me to turn round and go after her? Foyle: No. Keep going. Sam struggles with the steering wheel. Sam: D'you know, there's something wrong. Er, sir, it's... sir- Foyle: Sam. Sam: The, the wheel, it- the steering, I can't- Foyle: What's going on? Sam: I can't get it to... Foyle: Right. Sam: Oh. A lorry coming the other way honks at them and Sam wrenches the wheel to the right. Sam: Oh! Oh, damn! They go off the road and crash into a wooden shed. Sam: Ah. The lorry drives on past without stopping. Inside the car, Sam takes her hat off. She's bleeding from a small cut above her right eye. Foyle: You all right? Sam: Yes, sir. He opens his door. Sam: I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. Foyle: Hmm. We should get out. Can you manage? Sam: Mmm. She follows him out through the passenger-side door. Aubrey Stewart's house. He brings a cup of tea over to Sam where she sits in an armchair. Aubrey: There you are. Feeling any better? Sam: Much better. Thank you. She looks up at someone behind him. Sam: When did you get here, Milner? Aubrey: Sergeant Milner arrived about half an hour before you. Milner: I came down by train. And I wasn't alone. I was following Marion Greenwood. Foyle is sitting opposite. Foyle: Know where she went? Milner: She jumped in a taxi at the station, and guess where it took her. Foyle: Hill House? Milner: Yeah. Sam: Is this any help, sir? She holds out a map of Rouen. Foyle: Yes. Sam: A map of Rouen. Foyle: Well, it seems it's a copy of a map of Rouen, used by an agent, according to this letter. Sam: "101040". That's a map reference, isn't it? Foyle: Is it? Did you see who left this? Sam: Erm, I didn't see his face, but it wasn't the bald man. Aubrey: This is all Hill House, isn't it? That's what it all comes down to. Foyle: That and your church, sir. Aubrey: I'm sorry? Foyle: The young builder who died. Aubrey: Ted Harper. Foyle: I'm very sorry to have to do this, but I'm afraid, erm, we're going to have to disturb the peace and quiet of your churchyard. He stands up. Churchyard. The four of them stand and watch as a man digs up Ted's grave. Aubrey: Poor Ted. I christened him, you know. I remember seeing him play hide-and-seek out here with the other boys, ducking behind the gravestones. Couple of weeks ago, he came to see me. He was going to marry his girl, Mary Thompson. Do you remember her, Samantha? Sam: Oh, yes. She used to work at the village shop. Aubrey: He was going to get married, start his own family. Then he has a stupid accident, falls off a roof and breaks his neck. Sometimes, you really have to ask what he's thinking of up there. The gravedigger sets his spade aside and reaches for a crowbar. Milner: Sir! Aubrey: Mr Foyle, you haven't told me what you expect to find. I don't expect we'll find anything. The gravedigger lifts the lid of the coffin. It's empty. Hill House. Foyle walks across the grounds to the house. Inside. Maccoby is being led away by military police. Maccoby: You bloody bastard, Foyle. Damn you to hell for this! Foyle: Nice to see you again, Mr Mason. Bye. Foyle reaches the reception area, where Stafford is talking with the receptionist. Foyle: Major Stafford. Stafford: Mr Foyle. Foyle: "A powder that can make a car's wheels lock"? Stafford: Carborundum powder. That's the technical name for it. Foyle: You knew, didn't you? Stafford: A man like Leo Maccoby or Mason or whatever his name his has no place here. I mean, there's dirty tricks and dirty tricks, but you have to decide how dirty you want to be. Foyle: Well, thank you, if you were trying to warn me. I just wish you'd been less covert about it. He walks on. Wintringham's office. He's looking at a map together with Dumont, Nicholson and a man in uniform. Wintringham: Now, how well do you know the area around Caen? Dumont: Er, not personally, but I have many friends I can reach. Wintringham: Good. The door opens. Foyle (offscreen): Good morning. Wintringham: Mr Foyle. I'm afraid this isn't a very good moment. Foyle approaches the map table, passing Pierce where she sits at another desk. Foyle: Well, not for you, perhaps. Perfectly good one for me. Wintringham: What can I do for you? Foyle: Er, you can start by apologising for wasting my time and perhaps explain how you manage to achieve the, er, levels of incompetence you regularly do. Pierce joins the group at the table. Wintringham: I think we'd like to hear you explain yourself. Incompetent? How? Foyle: Er, you are, firstly, directly responsible for the failure of the organisation's recent operation in France. Wintringham: Firstly, really? How? Foyle: You sent an agent, er, who was klled as a result of being supplied with out-of-date information. Wintringham: What is that? Foyle: It's a map of Rouen and environs, dated the, er, 10th October last year, which gives no indication of current local occupied territory and which led to him being dropped into an area mined by the Germans. Wintringham: And secondly? Foyle: Secondly, even assuming, er, you must know that there's a spy in your midst... He pauses for a brief moment, and Nicholson looks over at Wintringham. Foyle: Allowing him to, erm, leak this sort of information is peculiar, to say the least. Wintringham: A spy? Foyle: Well, apparently MI6, since he left the map and this letter, which gives classified information pointing directly to MI6, er, lying about in a disused phone box, presumably to be collected. You're as bad as each other. Wintringham: And would you feel able to go so far as to reveal the identity of this spy? Foyle: Well, it's not part of my brief and, since you've wasted my time, I don't see why I should be helping you with yours, particularly. But, since you ask, if I were you, I'd be looking for someone, erm, posing as a Frenchman, with a passable accent, who is an accomplished Times crossword solver and yet claims not to understand basic English idioms, and who believes that, er, Paris Montparnasse is a football team and not a railway station. You dropped these. He gives Dumont the papers from the phone box. Dumont looks at them for a moment, then speaks in an English accent. Dumont: Well, that rather puts paid to it, doesn't it? Amazed I was able to get away with it as long as I did, actually. Wintringham nods to the uniformed man and he stands up, as does Pierce. Pierce: Who are you? Dumont: I'm afraid, Miss Pierce, you'll have to address any questions to my commanding officer. Wintringham: Giles Messinger. Dumont: Yes. My apologies, Colonel, nothing personal. Wintringham: Nicholson, escort whoever this is to the security wing and don't let him out of the building. The uniformed man has returned with a group of military police. Dumont: Excuse me, My Foyle. I'd like to have heard some more, but I'm sure you understand. Foyle: Perfectly. Dumont leaves along with Nicholson and the military police. Wintringham looks at the papers from the phone box. Foyle: It would seem he doesn't know. Wintringham: Doesn't know what, Mr Foyle? Foyle: As much as you think he might, Colonel. Wintringham: And how much do you know? More than him, apparently. Foyle: Well, he knows, at least as much as we talked about and as much as anyone else here might know, that the agent Facteur, who died as a result of the map, was a, er, replacement for William Messinger. He sits down at the table. Foyle: I know that Messinger wasn't replaced, that Facteur, French for "postman", everybody's messenger, was, in fact, William Messinger, who did not commit su1c1de in Hastings, but died in France, in a German minefield. Pierce: Tell him. Wintringham: No. Pierce: If you don't, I will. You're right, Mr Foyle. We had a Special Duty flight, but we had no up-to-date information about the area around Rouen. All the same, Colonel Wintringham decided to go ahead. We dropped him in a wood, near a village called St-Etienne. Flashback to Facteur making his landing and checking the map, then the explsin. Pierce (voiceover): He was klled almost at once, before even making contact with the French. Wintringham's office. Pierce: Sir Giles Messinger was waiting for us to make one last mistake and we dropped his son in a minefield. How were we going to tell him that? Foyle: Why send him in the first place, him of all people? Wintringham: He wanted to go. He persuaded me. If he came back a hero, his father would have to change his opinion of us. He'd have been neutralised. It was a high-risk strategy, but it might have worked. Pierce: If he'd come back. Foyle: Well, look, I don't care about your inter-departmental squabbles, but leaving aside the moral issue, what I have to care about, not least because I'm paid to, is the law. Wintringham: Nothing illegal. Nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing we can't justify. Foyle: Desecration of a grave, illegal. Flashback to the opening of the empty coffin. Foyle: How would you like to justify that? Flashback to Wintringham's men removing the vase from the grave and throwing it aside to smash against a tombstone. Foyle (voiceover): If whoever you got to do this hadn't broken a vase, nobody would even have known you'd been there. Foyle: The body you stole to substitute for Messinger blown out of all recognition by a grenade. Flashback to the book repository explsin. Foyle: How would you like to justify that? A whole history fabricated. Flashback to the watchmaker examining the watch. Foyle (voiceover): The watch. Watchmaker: That's what I mean. It looks like an old watch, but this is a very recent model. Foyle: The rented room. The Hastings landlady who never lived in Hastings. Flashback to Mrs dke's house. dke: Yes. It's lovely, innit? Valuable, I'd have said. He never went anywhere without it. Flashback to Foyle meeting her again as Evelyn Cresswell. Wintringham: Miss Evelyn Cresswell. Cresswell: How do you do? Wintringham: My secretary. Foyle: We've met. Cresswell: No, sir. I don't think so. Wintringham's office. Foyle: Professional actress or just a versatile secretary? Whatever she was, she wasted police time. The su1c1de letter, forged. Flashback to Marion being shown the letter. Foyle (voiceover): The girlfriend, Marion Greenwood works for you and perverted the course of justice. Wintringham's office. Foyle: Added to which, one of your men tried to kll me. Flashback to the car going off the road and crashing. Foyle: Illegal. All morally unacceptable. How would you like to justify it? Wintringham: Necessities of wr, Mr Foyle, in which there is no morality. You fail to grasp this. In truth, I don't like it any more than you do, but it's part of our existence. It's what we're for. Outside. Foyle and Pierce walk through the grounds together. Pierce: Mr Foyle, may I plead with you? Colonel Wintringham... how can I put this? He, he overreaches himself, and he will not survive in this position for long, that I promise you. Nor, perhaps, will I, but we don't matter. This organisation does. You may doubt many things, but not the courage of these people, what they're prepared to do for their country. It was a mad scheme. We should never have considered it. But at the end of the day have we done any great harm? Foyle: You don't feel the Messingers have a right to know how their son died? Pierce: You think it would make them happier to know he died as the result of a stupid mistake? Foyle: Well, they might like to remember him as a wr hero rather than a su1c1de. Pierce: Well, tell them. But not yet. Wait until the wr's over. Give us our chance. Until now we've been fighting this w*r using conventional methods and we're losing, Mr Foyle. But I swear to you, one day, we will make a difference. Foyle: I won't lie for you. Pierce: I'm not asking you to do that. I'm asking you to wait before you reveal the truth. A car pulls up on the drive and the Messingers get out. Foyle: Did you know they were coming? Pierce: I invited them. They've come to collect William's things. Sir Giles? Sir Giles: Ah, Miss Pierce. Ah, Mr Foyle. What are you doing here? Foyle: I was just leaving, sir. Sir Giles: Er, when you visited my house, you led me to believe there were certain circumstances surrounding my son's death. Foyle: That's right. Anne: Is it true? Have you found something? Foyle: It seems I was misinformed. Sir Giles: You haven't heard the last of this, Foyle. It seems to me you've grossly exceeded the limits of your authority. Percy Noble at the Admiralty was speaking to me about you. You may put any idea of joining the service out of your mind. He turns and walks away. Foyle exchanges a look with Pierce. Sam and Milner wait beside the car. Sam: You know, you can't really leave. Milner: What d'you mean? Sam: Hastings. I mean, what will we do without you? Milner: I don't know. Sam: We're a team, aren't we? All for one and one for all or whatever. Milner: Oh, I almost forgot. I have something for you. He opens the back of the car and brings out an onion. Sam: Where did you get it? Milner chuckles. Milner: I won the raffle. Sam: Mr Rivers? Milner: Mm-hmm. I thought we'd have half each. He hands her the onion, and she tosses it up in the air and then kisses it. Sam: What a corker! You are a dream. He chuckles as she gives him a kiss on the cheek. Milner: Thanks. Aubrey (voiceover): So, it looks as if you won't be leaving the police force, after all. He and Foyle walk through the churchyard. Foyle: Seems so. Aubrey: I'm very glad to have met you, Mr Foyle. Good luck. They shake hands. Foyle: Thank you. He reaches the car where Sam and Milner are waiting. Foyle: Let's go. Long way back. Sam: Bye, Uncle Aubrey. They all get in the car. Aubrey: Bye, Samantha. Take care. Sam: See you at Easter. He nods and then waves as they drive away.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "03x01 - The French Drop"}	foreverdreaming
Digby Manor, a country vast estate in Hastings. CAPTION: FEBRUARY 1941 Dining room. Sir Michael Waterford sits alone at the head of a large table. His housekeeper, Mrs Roecastle, brings a teapot round to serve him. Roecastle: Brought you a pot of fresh tea, Sir Michael. Sir Michael: Thank you, Mrs Roecastle. Roecastle: We got a couple of eggs from the chickens last night, sir. Do you fancy one? Sir Michael: No, I don't think so. Thank you. Roecastle: I'm sure it'll all be all right, sir. I'll still be looking after you. Sir Michael: I'm sure of it. I know I can depend on you. Roecastle: Oh, that you can, sir. Sir Michael: Better get moving, I suppose. Roecastle: Hmm. Sir Michael: They'll be here any time now. Beddows ready with the car? Roecastle: He's waiting at the front, sir. Sir Michael: Tell him I'll be with him soon. Roecastle: Yes, sir. She leaves. He gazes around the room. Later. A procession of military medical vehicles drive towards the manor house and park in the grounds. Patrick Jamieson gets out of his car. Jamieson: Well! Here we are, Brian, Digby Manor. What do you think? Doctor Brian Wrenn is looking around. Wrenn: It's, er, it's big. Jamieson: It's perfect. Fresh air, plenty of room, sound plumbing. Not often in this bloody wr you get exactly what you ask for. Wrenn: Yeah. If we can hang on to it. Jamieson: Well, that sounds a wee bit like doom and gloom, and I'm afraid that's not allowed. Now, here. You do the honours. He hands Wrenn some paperwork, then starts directing the men unloading a nearby lorry. Jamieson: Ah, baths, etc, into the long gallery, next to the boiler room, and Matron! Matron, nurses, let me show you the wards. They're going to be the finest you've ever seen. He chuckles as they enter the manor. Wrenn fixes a RAF requisition order to the outside of the building. Inside. Jamieson walks through with the Matron, Grace Petrie, as nurses bustle about setting things up. Jamieson: Nurses' quarters, this floor, Matron. Wards, downstairs, of course. Petrie: Mr Jamieson, this house is quite impossible. I mean, it's filthy. There must be at least ten years of accumulated dust. Jamieson: Oh, yes. Yes. Petrie: And some of the corridors aren't wide enough for trolleys. You're going to have to knock down walls. Jamieson: Absolutely. Petrie: And what about the operating theatre? You're gonna have to start from scratch. Jamieson: Matron, we have a whole week before the first patients arrive. What are you worrying about? Eh? There's the sound of a car horn outside. Jamieson and looks out of a window to see Group Captain Smythe getting out of his car outside. Jamieson: Oh-ho, looks like the flyboys have arrived. Outside. Smythe: I see you're moving in, then. Wrenn: Mr Jamieson didn't want to waste time. Jamieson comes out to meet them. Smythe: Well, that's good. Any problems with the residents? Wrenn: The house was empty when we arrived. Jamieson shakes hands with Smythe. Jamieson: Good morning, Group Captain! Good journey down from the Ministry? Smythe: Very good, thank you, Mr Jamieson. I see you're busy. Jamieson: Yes, yes. Yes, let me show you around. Smythe: Looks a little like organised chaos around here. Jamieson laughs. Jamieson: Oh, not at all, not a- nothing organised about it. He shows Smythe around the inside. Jamieson: Right. Now, this is going to be the main ward. Smythe: It's a good space. Jamieson: Yes, more or less perfect. A little bit of a journey to the baths, I'm afraid, but can't get around that. Smythe: You'll need to get this piano removed. Jamieson: Oh, I hardly think so. It's only just arrived! A workman wheels in a keg of beer. Workman: Where d'you want this, sir? Jamieson: I don't know. Erm, just leave it there just now. Thanks. Smythe: Beer? Jamieson: Wee bit early for me, Group Captain. You help yourself. A cottage on the grounds of the estate. Roecastle (voiceover): Would you like me to unpack for you, Sir Michael? Inside. She sets a suitcase down. Sir Michael: No. No, thank you, Mrs Roecastle. I can manage. Roecastle: Right. Well, I'll go back to the house, then, sir. Sir Michael: They're letting you stay there? Roecastle: I've offered to clean for them, sir. It, it seemed the best way. Wouldn't be right and proper to stay here. Sir Michael: No, of course not. Roecastle: I'll be back at lunchtime, sir, and, er, if there's anything else? Sir Michael: Thank you. She heads out. Sir Michael sets his bag down on a table. He pulls out a revolver and checks the chamber. Mrs Roecastle pauses in the doorway to watch him. He snaps the chamber back into place decisively. OPENING CREDITS Graveyard. Foyle stands by a grave with a bunch of flowers. The name on the gravestone is Rosalind Foyle. After a few moments he walks away. Sam is waiting on a bench nearby. She stands up as he approaches. Foyle: Thanks for waiting. Sam: That's all right, sir. When did she die? Foyle: Nine years ago today. Sam: That's a very long time. Foyle: Well... not very. I'm just gonna hang on a second or two longer. He turns back towards the grave. Sam: What was she like? You never talk about her. D'you mind me asking? Foyle: No, no, no. Of course not. Well, she was, erm, she was highly thought of and, er, much loved, and, er, you'd have liked her. Sam: You must miss her terribly. Foyle: (Yeah.) He turns away from her and takes a few steps back towards the grave, then checks his watch and turns back again. Foyle: No, er, we should go. Airfield. A pair of Spitfires comes in to land. Andrew Foyle is in the cockpit of one. The engine stops and he tries to open the canopy, but finds it stuck. One of the ground crew comes over to help. Aircraftsman: Hang on a minute, sir. He slides the canopy back and Andrew gets out. Andrew: Where's Drake? Gordon Drake. Andrew strides across the airfield towards mechanic Gordon Drake. Andrew: Drake! Drake: Mr Foyle! Good to see you back safe and sound, sir. Andrew: No thanks to you, damn you. Drake: Oh, you're not still having trouble? Andrew: The slide is sticking. I reported it. You've done nothing. Drake: That's not true. I put a new seal on it, lubricated it... Andrew: You're lying. I'm expected to fly sortie after sortie and if I can't trust my own kite. Drake: Got a bit rattled, did you, sir? Andrew: I got nothing of the sort. How dare you speak to me like that. Drake: And how am I supposed to speak to you, Mr Foyle? Andrew: I don't know why we bother fighting the Germans when we've got you on our side. Drake: I did the work, Mr Foyle. If you want to complain about me, talk to the Wing Co. Andrew: Maybe I will. Drake: Oh, fine! Andrew: Do you have any idea what's going on up there? No. You don't care, do you? This wr - just a stroll in the park for you, isn't it? Another pilot, Greville Woods, steps up to intervene. Greville: He's not worth it, Andrew. Come on, I'll buy you a pint. Andrew turns away. Greville: See to the slide. Drake: All right, I'll do it again. Sir! Police station. Rivers is reading a newspaper at the front desk as ARP warden Peter Preston walks through from the back. Preston: I'm turning in, then. He stops to fill in some paperwork behind the desk. Rivers: Busy night? Preston: Nope. Quiet, thank goodness. Even managed to get a few hours' kip. Rivers: You should keep quiet about that, Mr Preston. Jerry finds your sleeping on the job, he's sure come calling. Preston: Cheerio. Rivers: Bye. Preston leaves the building just as Foyle is arriving. Preston: Oh, morning, sir. Foyle: Morning. They shake hands. Preston: Peter Preston. Thought I'd introduce myself. I'm gonna be based here for the time being, then I've got a post at the Kings Arms. Foyle: Right. Well, you'd much rather be at a pub than a police station, wouldn't you? Preston: Don't even drink, sir. He walks on and Foyle heads into the station. Front desk. Doctor Wrenn approaches Rivers. Rivers: Good morning, sir. Wrenn: Morning. Er, I wonder if there's somebody senior I could speak to. Rivers: Can you tell me what it's about? Wrenn: Well, it's rather complicated. See, we've- Milner steps through from the back. Milner: Doctor Wrenn? Wrenn: Yes. Milner: It's Milner. You operated on me last year. Wrenn: Oh, God, I'm sorry. Milner: St Luke's, er, after Trondheim. My leg. Wrenn: Left leg. An inch below the tibial tuberosity. Yes, of course. I'm sorry, you'll have to forgive me, I'm terrible at faces. Milner: Not at all. Wrenn: How is it? Milner: It healed very well, thank you. Wrenn: Well, it's good to see you, Mr Milner. Milner: And you. Erm, can I help? Wrenn: Well, it's, it's rather awkward. Milner: Why don't I introduce you to my senior officer, DCS Foyle? Foyle's office. The three of them sit around Foyle's desk. Wrenn: Mr Jamieson is a genius, there's no two ways about it. I mean, he studied with Archibald McIndoe. I'm sure you know who I mean. Foyle: I know of him, yeah. Wrenn: Between them, they have completely revolutionised reconstructive surgery and the treatment of burns. I mean, I don't need to tell you how many young pilots there are coming down horribly brned. Foyle: No, you don't. Wrenn: Well, it started about six months ago. Somebody noticed that, er, pilots who crashed into the Channel healed quicker. And nobody could understand why, but McIndoe worked it out. It was the salt in the water. That's all there was to it. So, he, he developed a treatment using saline baths, and that's what we're doing here in Hastings. Foyle: So, er, how can we help? Wrenn: Well, somebody's trying to sabotage us. We requisitioned an old house, Digby Manor. That was about two weeks ago. But since then, there's been this whole series of... accidents. That's what they look like. Milner: And what makes you think that they're not? Wrenn: Well, because I'm careful. And nobody could have as many accidents as that. I mean, we've had paperwork's gone missing. We've had disinfectant mixed in with the milk. I mean, sheets torn, I mean, oh, all sorts of petty little things. Foyle: Suspects? Wrenn: Yes, one. The chap who used to own the house, a Sir Michael Waterford. Foyle: He's sort of a local hero, isn't he? Injured in the last wr? Wrenn: That may well be but we turfed him out of his house. And now he's living in a cottage on the estate. Now, I think you should talk to him. Foyle: It's a bit difficult. Wrenn: Why? Foyle: Well, it's a bit difficult to justify questioning a man like just that on the strength of your suspicions alone. Wrenn: Oh. Well, you, you're saying you don't believe me? Foyle: No, not at all. Wrenn: So, you're just going to wait until something worse happens, yeah? Maybe until somebody gets klled? Well, thank you very much. I'm sorry I've wasted your time. He storms out. Milner follows him out along the corridor. Milner: Doctor Wrenn? I think you were a little unfair on us, sir. Obviously, we'll do what we can, but what you call sabotage could have been a series of practical jokes. Wrenn: Yes. I'm sorry, Milner. Milner: Well, next time something happens, put in an official report and we'll come down and see what we can do. Wrenn: Yes. Thank you, Milner. Airfield. Turner (voiceover): What the hell was going on? Andrew stands before Wing Commander Turner in his office. Turner: Foyle! Andrew: I'm not happy with some of the maintenance work being done on my Spit, sir. I had trouble with the coop. I asked for it to be seen to and it wasn't. Turner: Aircraftsman Gordon Drake? Andrew: Yes, sir. Turner: Well, do you want him put on a charge? Andrew: No, sir. Turner: Then leave him alone, Foyle. What do you think it will do for morale, seeing you of all people rowing with the maintenance crew? I run this squadron, so in future, if you've got any problems, you come to me. Andrew: Whatever you say, sir. Turner: How many ops have you flown this week? Andrew: I don't know, sir, about twelve. Or fifteen. Turner: Right. You need a rest. Take the weekend, go home, try and get some decent shuteye. You off drinking tonight? Andrew: Yes, sir. Heading off with Woods and some of the other chaps. Turner: Good. Well, don't come back. Not until Monday. You know, Woods admires you a great deal. All of the younger pilots do. So, don't let them down. Andrew: Sir. He goes to leave. Turner: Don't let yourself down. Police station, evening. Sam is just heading out, dressed up in civilian clothes and wearing lipstick. Foyle comes out of his office behind her. Foyle: You out tonight? Sam: Yes, sir. Foyle: You're looking very, erm... Sam: Thank you, sir. You won't be needing me any more tonight, sir? Foyle: No, I'll walk. Sam: You sure? Foyle: Yes, of course. Have a good time. She leaves and he watches her go. A street in Hastings, night. Gordon Drake knocks on a door. It's opened by Mary Wrenn. Drake: You called and here I am. Help is at hand. Mary: Come in. He goes in. Further up the street, Peter Preston watches him go in. Inside. Drake is looking at the fuses while Mary holds a candle up for him. Drake: Ah. There's your trouble. Someone fused the ring main with a three-amp fuse. All blew when the bulb went. Mary: It was my last bulb. Drake: Well, I'll if I can get you a couple, then. Mary: Is there anything you can't get hold of, Gordon? Drake: That's the sort of man I am. Get my hands on anything. Mary: I'm sure. Drake: Shame your husband's not up to it. Mary: He's not up to anything much. Drake: Now, now. Mary: He's never here. Drake: Well, if I was a man with a wife like you, I wouldn't leave her on her own. Mary: All he ever thinks about is his work. He fixes the fuse and the lights come on. Drake: There we are. Mary: Wonderful. Drake: Here. Got something for you. He shows her a package of stockings. Drake: They're from France, pure silk. Mary: I couldn't! Drake: Yeah, course you could. Why not? Mary: What will I say if he sees me with them on? Drake: Hmm. Tell him you got 'em from a friend. Mary: He wouldn't believe me. Drake: Only wear them for me, then. As he goes to kiss her, there's a thump on the door. Preston (offscreen): Put that light out! Drake: Bloody hell! Mary: It's the ARP. Drake: No, worse than that. Listen, I'd better not be found here. Is there a back way? Preston keeps knocking. Mary: You know there is. Through the kitchen. They kiss passionately, then Drake moves to leave. Drake: I'll be seeing you. He kisses her again, then heads off through the kitchen. Preston (offscreen): Open up, please. Mary wipes her mouth. Preston (offscreen): Open up! Mary: I'm coming. Outside. Preston is still knocking. She opens the door for him. Preston: You're showing a light. Mary: I've done the blackout. Preston: Must be a crack. He walks past her into the house. Preston: You realise you can see it all down the street. Mary: I'm sorry. She adjusts the curtains. Preston: You on your own here? Mary: Yes. Preston: Oh. I just saw a man come in. Mary: He left. Preston: Who, your husband? Mary: None of your business. Yes, all right, it was my husband. Preston: Are you on the household register, then? Mary: No, we haven't been here long. He takes a notebook out of his pocket. Preston: I'll need to ask you some questions, starting with your name, how many people there are resident here, where they sleep, next of kin and so on. Do you mind if I...? Mary: Do what you have to do. Preston: Thank you. They sit down together. A busy club, packed with RAF officers. Greville Woods sits at a table with his girlfriend, Anne Bolton. Wood: Here, I've, um, I've got something for you. He opens his hands to reveal an orange. Anne: An orange! Where did you get it? There aren't any in the shops. Greville: I'll fly to Seville and get you a whole crate. Anne: You can get me some apples while you're at it. A shilling a pound! The whole world's going mad. Sam and Andrew sit at the bar behind them. Andrew: Look at them. She works in an aircraft factory. Sam: I know. She told me. I like her. Andrew: Greville's talking about getting married when the wr's over. Sam: What's so wrong with that? Andrew: Making plans? Nothing, I suppose. Sam: Oh, I hate it when you're in this sort of mood, Andrew. Andrew: You're right, I'm bloody awful company. I'm pushing off. Sam: Home? Andrew: Wing Co wants me to take a long weekend. Thinks I've got battle fatigue. Sam: Maybe you have. Andrew: I'm sorry, Sam. Sam: D'you want me to drive you? Andrew: No, best not. He stands up to get his coat. Andrew: God, I feel quite drunk. The amount of water they put in the beer, must have got through plenty. I'll see you, Sam. He kisses her on the cheek. Sam: Tomorrow. Foyle house. Foyle is sitting up by the fre as Andrew comes in. Foyle: Andrew? Andrew: Are you still up? Foyle: This is unexpected. Andrew: Weekend pass. He has a lipstick mark on his cheek. Foyle: Well, good to see you. Andrew: You're up very late. Foyle: Yep. He takes a drink. Andrew: Oh, God. Dad, I'm so sorry. I should have been there with you. Foyle: No, not at all. Wasn't expecting you. Andrew: I've let you down, haven't I? Foyle: No, you've not let me down. Andrew: I seem to be letting everyone down at the moment. The, the thing is, Dad, I forgot. I just forgot. Foyle: Andrew, doesn't matter. Andrew: No. Nothing much matters any more. Better be... He moves to go upstairs. Foyle: Is that lipstick? On your cheek? Andrew rubs his check and looks at his hand. Andrew: Is it? Evening out. Foyle: Oh. Colour suits you. Operating theatre. Jamieson and a nurse are preparing to remove a dressing from a patient's hand. Jamieson: Good. Now, this shouldn't hurt too much, Mr Hayden. Well, actually, it'll hurt like blazes, but we've pumped you so full of morphine, we hope you won't notice. Now, what I'm going to do here is I'm just going to remove this flavine pad and then we can have a butcher's at what's happening with this Thiersch graft. That's it. We'll see how it's coming along. He removes the dressing to reveal the grafted skin. Jamieson: I think we can say it's taking very well. Yeah. I would say that that was 80%, hmm? Doctor Wrenn, watching, nods. Jamieson: Which is excellent. Wrenn: You'll soon be playing the piano. Jamieson: That's all the more remarkable, since you couldn't play it before. The lights in the room go out and the group sigh in annoyance. Jamieson: Good God and Highlanders. Wrenn: Not again! Jamieson: This is beyond a joke here, Brian. Nurse, forget the forceps. Let's get out the torches and the candles. Later. Jamieson is just changing back into his suit when Wrenn comes in. Jamieson: Was it a fuse? Wrenn: No, somebody turned off the mains. Jamieson: What is going on here, Brian? I have a feeling somebody has it in for us here. Wrenn: Oh, that reminds me, I've got some more bad news. Smythe wants to see you. Jamieson: Oh, yes. It was only a matter of time. Where is he? Wrenn: Oh, I dunno, probably on patrol. Hospital ward. One of the patients pours himself a beer from a keg. Smythe walks through, looking at the patient charts. One of the patients, Johnny Bridges, speaks to Matron Petrie. Bridges: Another week and I'll be out of here. Petrie: We'll be glad to see the back of you. Bridges: You're looking at the back of me right now. That butcher you call a surgeon used it to rebuild my face. Petrie: I'm sure it's an improvement on what was there before. Bridges chuckles. Smythe takes his patient chart from Petrie. Smythe: Flight Lieutenant Bridges? Bridges: Sir? Smythe: I think you might sit to attention when I'm in the room. Bridges: I'm, I'm awfully sorry, sir. He sits up. Smythe: Thank you. And Matron, with the greatest respect, would you please get rid of those? Petrie: The beer barrels, sir? Sure, they're not empty yet. Smythe: Whether or not they are empty is beside the point. They shouldn't be there. Manor estate. Gordon Drake makes his way across the grounds to Sir Michael's cottage. He knocks and enters the room where Sir Michael is having breakfast. Drake: Good morning, sir. How are you today? Sir Michael: Morning, Drake. Drake: Your leg not causing you too much bother with this damp weather, sir? Sir Michael: No. Thank you. Drake: I'm afraid I've come to see you about the rent, sir. Sir Michael: It doesn't matter about the rent. Drake: That's good, because I'm afraid we're not gonna be able to manage it again. In fact, I need a bit of money from you. Sir Michael: How much this time? Drake: 50 bob should cover it. Ah, it's the roof, sir. Lost a lot of tiles last month with the bad weather. Sir Michael: I don't have the money, Drake. Drake: I, I don't mean right now. Any time to suit you. Sir Michael: Right. Jamieson's office. He and Smythe enter. Smythe: I feel a discussion between the two of us is long overdue. Jamieson: If this is about tomorrow night's show, I'm afraid the clog-dancing troupe is full up. Smythe: It has nothing to do with your review. Jamieson: Ah, well, fre away. Smythe: Well, I want to start by saying that my admiration for your work comes second to none. Jamieson: Thank you. Smythe: However, I do find some of your methods highly unorthodox. Jamieson: Such as? Smythe: Well, ignoring the shenanigans tomorrow night, let's start with the dispensation of alcoholic beverages in the wards. Jamieson: Beer? You mean I let the men drink beer? Smythe: On duty. Jamieson: You don't think these men have done their duty? You don't think you can let them relax a little? Smythe: Not while they are part of the RAF, no, and I don't need you to give me lectures about duty, sir. Why are the men not properly dressed? Jamieson: The conscious ones, you're talking about? Smythe: Again, you are being facetious. I met a flight lieutenant just now, half in uniform, half out of it. He was a disgrace. Jamieson: I wonder who you mean. Smythe: Bridges. Jamieson: Oh, yes, Bridges, yes. Yes, his Wellington was sht to pieces over Gelsenkirchen. They were bmb German oil installations. He managed to fly back, saving his entire crew before crash-landing. He was brned from head to toe, and this is the man you're saying was a disgrace? Smythe: Not the man, Jamieson, his lack of correct hospital uniform. Jamieson: He can't wear correct hospital uniform, Group Captain, because I destroyed them all. Smythe: What? Jamieson: The uniforms were horrible. Blue overalls with red ties. They made the men look like prisoners. They made them feel like prisoners, too. Smythe: You destroyed them? Jamieson: Whatever genius thought them up had forgotten that a lot of these men don't have the use of their fingers. They can't even do up their bloody fly buttons. Yes, I destroyed them. Now, what are you gonna do about that? Smythe: I'm going to make a report. Jamieson: Right. You do just that. Smythe leaves the office. Mrs Roecastle is vacuuming at the foot of the staircase outside. Outdoors. Petrie watches from an upper window as Smythe leaves the building. He passes an RAF officer on guard at the front door. Smythe: Tell the drivers' pool I need a car at once. Guard: Sir! Elsewhere in the grounds. Sir Michael makes his way to a gate marked 'private'. A car arrives in front of the building for Smythe. He checks his watch. Smythe: Thank you. Er, take me to Hastings, please. Up above, a stone statue of a lion tumbles from the battlements of the manor. Driver: Look out! The statue crashes onto the bonnet of the car, narrowly missing Smythe and the guard. Airfield, Turner's office. Andrew takes a seat in front of his desk. Turner: I wanted a word with you. I have an op line here straight down from Air Officer Commanding. Andrew: AOC? Turner: Yes. They're in a hell of a flap. They've got the German U-boat fleet sinking around 40,000 tons of our shipping a month. Andrew: I didn't know it was as bad as that, sir. Turner: You're not meant to know. Top brass are keeping it under their hats. The thing is, the Admiralty suspect that the U-boats are operating out of a new facility at Le Havre. They want someone to take a shufty... tonight. Andrew: A night op, sir? Turner: The Air Ministry has a newfangled camera that photographs heat, but they need a very slow pass. Andrew: It's a bit risky, sir. The Spit's Merlin will be lit up like a Christmas tree. Turner: Yes, I know. What do you think of Greville Woods for the job? Andrew: Sir, I'm capable of flying this op. Turner: I don't want an argument, Foyle, I just want an opinion. Do you think he's up to it? Andrew: Well, there's no doubt he's a good flyer, sir. But his Spit's in dock. Turner: Well, he can take yours. Digby Manor. Foyle is up on the roof with Doctor Wrenn. Foyle: So, apart from Sir Michael, who I assume had a key to the roof, who else might have had one? Wrenn: Well, then there's his housekeeper, Mrs Roecastle. Er, she still lives in the manor. She helps with the laundry and the cleaning. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Anyone else? Milner is up on the roof with them too, inspecting the point where the statue fell from. Wrenn: Well, I have a full set. Er, I imagine that's about it. Milner: A lion and a unicorn? Wrenn: Yes. It appears on the old boy's coat of arms. I told you. His family have owned this place since the Magna Carta. Milner: Sir, this stone's almost completely corroded. Foyle: So, it, er, could just have been an accident. Wrenn scoffs. Wrenn: This was no accident. Milner: Wouldn't take a great deal to push this one over the edge. Foyle: More sabotage, then, you think? Wrenn: Well, what else could it be? Foyle: Well, it seems, erm, Smythe isn't the most popular of people. Er, attempted mrder? Jamieson's office. Foyle and Wrenn are both there. Jamieson: For heaven's sake, don't put that thought into his head, Mr Foyle. Foyle and Wrenn are both there. Jamieson: He's self-important enough as it is. God knows what it'll do to him if he starts thinking that he's actually worth assassinating. Foyle: It seems he, er, has the authority to get you out of here, and you'd argued with him just before the incident. Is that right: Jamieson: You're not saying you suspect me? I'm a surgeon! I save lives, I don't take them. Mind you, in Smythe's case, I might make an exception. Wrenn: Patrick. Jamieson: It was an accident! Just another accident. God knows we've had enough of them lately. And let me ask you this one thing, Mr Foyle - whose side are you on? Foyle: Well, nobody's. Jamieson: Yeah, well, it may well be that there's somebody has it in their mind to close this place down, and with this latest incident and a police investigation and someone like yourself with your suspicions, well, it might be enough to help them succeed. Sir Michael's cottage. Milner (voiceover): Sir Michael, you were at the manor house this morning. The two of them are sitting in the living room. Sir Michael: Who told you that? Milner: One of the nurses saw you go in just before the statue fell. Sir Michael: I go in and out all the time, keep an eye on things. Are you accusing me? Milner: No, sir. Certainly not. Sir Michael: You think I ran up the stairs and onto the roof? These days I can barely walk. Milner: Were you injured in the last wr? Sir Michael: June 1917, the Messines Ridge, 11th Kent Fusiliers. Milner: It must be very difficult for you, sir, losing your home like this. Sir Michael: Well, I thought I'd be left in peace. That was all I wanted. You wouldn't think it was too much to ask, would you? There's the sound of the front door and Mrs Roecastle comes in. Roecastle: I brought you lunch, Sir Michael. Oh, I am sorry, sir. I didn't realise you had company. Sir Michael: Oh, no, no. This gentleman's a police officer. Er, Mrs Roecastle, my housekeeper. When I had a house. Milner: Good afternoon, Mrs Roecastle. Were you at the manor this morning? Roecastle: I was. But I was cleaning on the first floor, sir. Er, I didn't see anything. But I heard the crash and I looked out of the window and there was Group Captain Smythe. Then I heard Doctor Wrenn come running downstairs. Milner: Downstairs? Roecastle: I think so, sir. Maybe I'm wrong. He'd certainly run from somewhere. Manor grounds. Sam stands waiting by the car. Bridges approaches her. Bridges: Hello. Don't tell me you're with the rozzers, you're far too pretty. Sam: I'm afraid I am. Sort of. Bridges: I'm Johnny Bridges. Sam: Sam Stewart. Bridges: Well, then, Sam Stewart, you wouldn't have a cigarette, would you? I'm dying for a smoke. She gets her cigarette case out of her pocket. Bridges: It's the one thing Grace Petrie won't allow. The Matron. She thinks it's a fre risk, and, what with one thing and another, that's a little ironic, don't you think? Sam: Here you are. He takes the cigarette from her. Bridges: Thanks. I'm afraid you're gonna have to light it for me. Jamieson's done wonders but there's not a lot he can do about these. He holds up his bent fingers. Sam lights the cigarette for him. Sam: You a pilot? Bridges: Was, I think you should say. Definitely past tense. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I think modelling and film work are definitely out of the question. Sam: You shouldn't joke like that. Bridges: Whyever not? As a matter of fact, we're putting on a show tomorrow night. You should come along. Sam: I don't think they'd let me. Bridges: Of course, the, er, investigation. Did somebody really try and kll Group Captain Smythe? Sam: I don't know. Bridges: Well, it certainly wasn't me. Wouldn't have missed. Sam chuckles. Bridges: Thanks for the cigarette. He walks away. Airfield, evening. Greville (voiceover): It's really good of you to let me fly your Spit, Andrew. Andrew (voiceover): Just make sure you bring it back in one piece, all right? Greville (voiceover): Yes. The two of them are walking along together. Greville: You know, I'm really grateful to you. I mean, I, I know without your say-so the Wing Co wouldn't have trusted me with this, and, well, I want you to know it means a lot to me. Andrew: You can outfly anyone in the squadron, Greville. I didn't do anything. Greville: And if anything does go wrong, you'll tell Anne I was thinking of her and all that? Andrew: Nothing will go wrong. Greville: I know. You're a decent sort, Andrew. A good friend. The two of them shake hands. Greville climbs into the Spitfire cockpit. Andrew stands and watches him fly away. Street outside the Wrenns' house. Doctor Wrenn is walking home. Preston stands waiting. Preston: Doctor Wrenn? Wrenn: Yes? Preston: Sorry to bother you, sir. Do you live here? Wrenn: Yes. Is, is there a problem? Preston: No, not exactly, sir, but... Look, it's none of my business, but I wonder if you've got a couple of minutes? Wrenn: What? Preston: I think we should have a word. Drake's house. His wife Beryl brings him a plate where he sits at the dinner table. He grabs her by the arm as she moves to take her chair. Drake: What's this, then? Beryl: Corned beef with cabbage. There was nothing else in the house. She sits down. Drake: It's disgusting. You want to tune in to the Kitchen Front and buck up your ideas. Beryl: So, that's where you go out nights, is it, then? Found someone to cook for you? Drake: Turn it off, will you? Beryl: How d'you expect me to buy decent food with the amount of money you give me? Drake: Oh, here we go again. Beryl: Everything my dad gave me, you went through that fast enough. Drake: Pennies. Beryl: You never gave me anything, not since the day I married you. Drake: I got you this house, didn't I? Beryl: I don't want to know about that. It makes me sick, you and Waterford. Don't think I don't know what's going on. Drake: Don't talk about Waterford. You don't meddle in things that have got nothing to do with you. Beryl: Yeah, well maybe I could tell a story or two. Drake: Yeah, maybe you could, but maybe you'd be wiser not to! He punches her in the face and she falls to the floor. He takes his belt off. Drake: I think it's about time I taught you a lesson, Beryl. Beryl: No, please. Don't! He starts to whip her with the belt. Wrenn house. The two of them are eating dinner in silence. Mary: You're very quiet. Wrenn: Tell me about Gordon Drake. Mary: Who? Wrenn: You know who I mean. He used to work at the garage. He's a mechanic, the RAF. Has he- has he been here? Mary: Yes. But he just... Wrenn: What? Mary: The lights were broken. He mended the fuse. Wrenn: If I thought... If I thought for one minute... She gets up. Mary: What would you do, Brian? Stick one of your knives in him? As she comes round to his side of the table, he grabs her arm. Wrenn: You don't know me. You don't understand my feelings. He kisses her, and she pulls away. Mary: You don't have feelings. Not any more, not for me. She hurries out of the room. Foyle house. He and Andrew are playing chess in front of the fre. Foyle: Check. Andrew makes a move. Foyle: Well, if you do that, that's checkmate. He makes his own countermove. Foyle: You're not concentrating. Andrew sighs and tips over his king. Andrew: You're too good for me. Foyle: Far from it. What's the problem? Andrew: Nothing. You know I'm not flying at the moment. Foyle: I can't say I'm sorry. It's good to have you home. Andrew: Well, that's just it. I've been top dog in the squadron for the last few months. But today, the Wing Co stood me down. It was a very important op. Six months ago, I'd have given anything to have done it. Foyle: A lot's happened in six months. Andrew: The truth is, Dad, I was actually relieved. I didn't want to fly. Didn't want to go anywhere near it. I even handed over my own plane. Foyle: And you feel guilty about that? Andrew: Yes, I suppose I do. And I wonder, what happens now? What happens next? Foyle: Well, personally speaking, I'd rather you never flew again, but both of us know that's not going to happen, 'cause you'll have to. So until we're on the other side of this, we're gonna have to live day-to-day and hope for the best. Andrew: The best? Foyle: That we at least get through it. A Spitfire descends towards the darkened airfield, trailing smoke. It crash lands on the grass and the nose of the plane bursts into flames. Trapped in the cockpit, Greville Woods bangs on the inside of the canopy. Greville: I can't get out! Get me out! Aircraftsman: It's Greville Woods! Two of the ground crew run towards the burning plane. Greville: Get me out of here! Scottish Aircraftsman: Hey! Get him out. Greville screams. The flames have reached the cockpit. The two men struggle to open the canopy as Greville keeps banging on the inside and screaming. Man: The slide is stuck! Jesus! This whole thing is going to blow! Scottish Aircraftsman: Just do it! Give me a hand. Hurry up! Just do it. They manage to haul Greville out of the burning plane. His clothes are on fre. Aircraftsman: Come out, get out. Move. They roll him on the ground to try and extinguish the flames. Aircraftsman: Turn him over. The two of them bat at the flames. Aircraftsman: Get away! Get away from it, it's going to blow! More ground crew run over to help. Scottish Aircraftsman: Get him up. Aircraftsman: It's gonna go up! Get away! They haul Greville, still screaming, further away from the plane. It explodes behind them and they huddle on the ground. Aircraftsman: Bloody hell. Morning. Foyle is just arriving at the police station. Milner meets him as he heads through into the back. Milner: Sir. I've found something that might be of interest. Foyle: What's that? Milner: Gordon Drake, posted here with the RAF. Foyle: What's he do? Milner: He's an erk. He's billeted on the drome, but he also rents a cottage on the estate at Digby Manor. Lives there with his wife. They arrive at Foyle's office. Milner: And he has a police record - demanding money with menaces, asault. He did eighteen months. And while I can't see he'd have any reason personally for sabotage, if Sir Michael wanted these people out of his house... Foyle: He might employ somebody like Drake. Eighteen months? Milner: With hard labour. Foyle: Right. Sir Michael's cottage. Foyle and Milner are both there. Sir Michael: Drake? What is it you want to know about him? Foyle: Well, he rents a cottage here, is that right? Sir Michael: Yeah. I knew his father in the wr. Martin Drake. As a matter of fact, he was my batman. Eighteen years old. Foyle: Was that in the, er, Fusiliers? Sir Michael: The 11th Kent Fusiliers, till I was wounded. Milner: At Messines. Sir Michael: Got a bllet in the leg. Drake helped me. Got me out of there. Out of the bloody trench. Foyle: What happened to him? Sir Michael: Died. Car accident. Son turned up here, needed somewhere to live, it was the least I could do. Foyle: So, er, what, he, erm, lives here for nothing? Sir Michael: No, no, no. He pays his rent. Sometimes. Drake cottage. Foyle and Milner approach the front door. Beryl Drake answers it. Foyle: Mrs Drake? Beryl: That's right. Her face is badly bruised. Foyle: Oh, what's happened to you? Beryl: It's nothing, I... fell. Foyle: Er, is your husband in? Beryl: He won't be home until tonight. He only comes home when he has leave, and then I have to wait until the pubs are shut. Foyle: He's, er, in the Air Force, isn't he? Beryl: I'm not supposed to tell you. Foyle: Right. Erm, ground crew, is that right? She nods. Foyle: Right. Thank you. Have you had somebody look at that? Beryl: It's all right, thank you. I don't need any help. Manor estate. Andrew rides his motorbike towards the hospital. Sam is talking to a nurse outside as he arrives. Sam: Andrew! Andrew: Not now, Sam. He hurries past her into the building. Patient: Thanks for everything. Petrie: Thank you, nurse. Andrew approaches Petrie. Andrew: Excuse me. Er, you have a pilot here. His name is Greville Woods. Petrie: Yes. And who are you? Andrew: I'm a friend. Petrie: Well, I'm afraid he can't see you. Andrew: Well, I'm a close friend. Um, we're in the same squadron. Petrie: I'm sorry. Andrew: Please? Petrie: He can't see you. He can't see anyone. He's been very badly brned. His hands and his face. At the moment hiss eyes are bandaged and we don't yet know about his sight. Andrew: Well, erm, can I just look in for a minute? Please. I, I won't try to talk to him or anything. Look... he was flying my plane. Petrie: Well, just for a moment. She leads him through into the ward. Bridges is helping set up the gramophone for another patient. Bridges: Wouldn't stay here too long if I were you, old chap. Andrew: What? Bridges: They'll have your arse off before you can blink and use it to patch up some other unfortunate blighter. The patient with him chuckles. Petrie: That's enough, thank you, Mr Bridges. Bridges starts the gramophone playing The Sun Has Got His Hat On. Hospital saline baths. Greville is in one of the baths with his eyes bandaged. Jamieson: Are you happy with the saline level, doctor? Doctor: Yes, Mr Jamieson. Jamieson bends over Greville in the bath. Jamieson: Good. Now... I'm gonna have a little butcher's here. I want to just- I'm gonna take that left hand, that's it, very gently. Andrew arrives in the doorway with Petrie. Jamieson: I'm going to just immerse that very gently into the saline. And down, and down, and just you should feel a little touch, but that's it. He looks up and sees Andrew. Jamieson: Hey, what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here. Matron. Matron, will you- will you take this man away, please. Andrew and Petrie leave. Jamieson: Sorry, Greville. We'll just dip that very gently into the saline. Outside the manor. Andrew emerges from the building and walks over to Sam. Sam: Andrew, what's going on? Andrew: It's Woods. He's brned. He can't see. Sam: Oh, no. I'm so sorry. Andrew: It was in my Spit. The cockpit didn't open. Sam: Andrew. Look, your father's here. I don't know what to say. Andrew: I'm going to find Drake. He heads back to his motorbike. Sam: What? Andrew: Go and get Anne, will you? He's asking for her. Tell her what's happened. Tell her she needs to be here. He rides away. Manor grounds. Foyle (voiceover): It's quite a place. Milner (voiceover): Certainly is. Foyle (voiceover): Or rather, it has been. I can imagine how he feels. The two of them are walking through a hallway on one of the upper floors. Milner: Sir Michael? Foyle: Mmm. And this is the only way up to the roof, is that right? They reach a narrow staircase leading up. Milner: Er, yes, sir. Foyle: Right. Must remember to get my attic stairs carpeted. They pass the staircase and head back downstairs. Jamieson is coming out of his office as they pass. Jamieson: Ah, Mr Foyle. Found anything yet? Foyle: Er, no. Anything else happened? Jamieson: No, thank God. Right now that's the last thing we need. Smythe is already started to write his report. He's decided the whole place is a death trap and the men would be safer in a gn turret of a Wellington over Düsseldorf. And having you chaps here doesn't help, either. The police investigating the RAF, not the done thing, old bean. Foyle: Would you rather we left? Jamieson: No, absolutely not. Matter of fact, we're having our party tonight. It's a bit of concert party. I want you to be there. Foyle: Well... Jamieson: I'm sorry, refusals aren't allowed! And, er, you can bring that pretty driver of yours. Attractive women in uniform, that's what makes the wr worth fighting, eh? Aircraft factory. Sam (voiceover): Anne, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to be the one to tell you. Anne (voiceover): How bad is it? The two of them walk through a factory constructing Spitfires. Sam: I haven't seen him but I spoke to Andrew and one of the nurses. I'm afraid you're going to have to be very brave. Anne: Tell me. Sam: His face has been brned. He's going to have to have surgery. And they don't yet know whether... Anne: Tell me. What? Sam: Whether he can see. Anne: Oh, don't. Oh, please, don't. Not Greville. He's nineteen years old. How did it happen? sht down? Sam: The canopy wouldn't open. Anne: What? Sam: Andrew told me. Anne: It's that mechanic, isn't it? Drake. Sam: I don't know. Anne: Yes, you do. Greville told me about him. Andrew had the same problem with his plane. It was Andrew's plane he was flying. Sam: Oh, Anne, I'm so sorry. Anne: It wasn't your fault. It wasn't Andrew's fault. It was Drake. Sam: Greville's been asking for you. I can drive you there if you like. Anne: No. I don't want to see him. Not yet. Please don't ask me. Sam: But you love him. Anne: I loved him the way that he was but I don't want to see him now, not how he is. I can't. She starts to cry. Digby Manor, night. Energetic piano music is playing and the audience applauds. The concert is taking place in one of the wards where some of the patients can watch from their beds as well as the seated crowd. Sir Michael and Smythe are in the front row with Jamieson, with Foyle, Sam and Milner seated behind. Out in front of the crowd, two patients are playing the roles of "Foyle", dressed up like Sherlock Holmes, and "Jamieson", a stereotypical kilted Scotsman. Jamieson Actor: Mr Foyle, Mr Foyle! I need your help. I understand you're a bit of a sleuth. Foyle Actor: Which bit did you have in mind? The crowd laughs. Jamieson Actor: My name is Jamieson and I need someone with a nose for crime. Foyle Actor: Well, I'm sorry, Mr Jamieson, my nose stays where it is. More laughter. Brian and Mary Wrenn are watching from the back row. Jamieson Actor: Pity. Well, listen to me, something terrible has happened. Someone has dropped a statue on Group Captain Smythe. Foyle Actor: That is terrible. Jamieson Actor: You're telling me. They missed! Smythe doesn't look amused. The rest of the crowd laugh and clap as the piano music starts up again. Wrenn leans over to speak to his wife. Wrenn: I'll be right back. He gets up to leave. Estate grounds. Gordon Drake is on his way home on a bicycle. Drake cottage. Beryl sits at the table in the dark, looking grim. Concert party. Petrie and Bridges are doing a routine to piano accompaniment. Bridges begins to sing: ♪ Paris without the Eiffel Tower ♪ ♪ Spring without an April shower ♪ ♪ Sherlock Holmes without a single clue ♪ ♪ Imagine it, I just about can ♪ ♪ I'll agree to Hirohito without Japan ♪ ♪ I just can't imagine ♪ ♪ What the world would be like without you ♪ Foyle turns to smile at Sam, and notices Wrenn's empty seat behind him. Outside. Anne stands out in the grounds. The piano is audible from inside. Concert party. Bridges and Petrie are dancing. Then Petrie begins to sing: ♪ London without Trafalgar Square ♪ ♪ Ginger without Fred Astaire ♪ ♪ A rainbow that's insane for it has no blue ♪ ♪ Imagine it, I'd try if I could ♪ ♪ I could see the trees but without the wood ♪ Drake cottage. Drake wheels his bike along the road. Beryl lifts her head at the sound of it. ♪ I simply can't imagine ♪ ♪ What the world would be like without you ♪ Outside. Drake looks around for a few moments. Drake: Is someone there? There's a rustling in the bushes. Then someone whacks him over the back of the head. He falls to the ground near a water trough. Concert party. As Bridges and Petrie dance, Wrenn returns to his seat. Wrenn: Sorry. Mary: You're muddy. Wrenn: Shh! Bridges and Petrie sing together: ♪ Imagine it ♪ ♪ I'll try if you ask me ♪ ♪ But a world without you would be simply too ghastly ♪ ♪ I could never do it ♪ ♪ So don't put me through it ♪ ♪ I just can't imagine ♪ ♪ What the world would be like without you ♪ The crowd applauds and there are shouts of "Bravo!" as Bridges bows. Even Smythe is smiling slightly. Estate grounds. Drake lies on the grass, eyes open, unmoving. Concert party. Jamieson: Bravo! Morning. The police have arrived at the scene of Drake's death. A uniformed officer uncovers the body for Foyle and Milner to look at. Sam watches them from a distance. Foyle: Who found him? Milner: His wife, sir. She's, she's inside. One of Drake's shoes has come off his foot. Foyle: Anything in that? Milner: Yeah, possibly. Foyle: You spoken to her? Milner: Just briefly. Foyle: Um, upset? Milner: Not very, but you saw her bruises. Foyle: Could she have done this? What do you think? Milner: It could have been her. Foyle: We'll have another word with her, then. Milner: There is one peculiarity, though, sir. Cause of death. The medical officer thinks he may have drowned. Beryl (voiceover): I'm not sad that he's dad. I'm not. She's seated in the living room inside. Beryl: That's a wicked thing to say, isn't it? Foyle: D'you really get those injuries in a fall, Mrs Drake? Beryl: I said that but it wasn't true. He was a bully. All smiles when I first met him. But that's when I still had money. My dad had left me with some. Milner: Do you have any idea who might have wanted to kll your husband? Beryl: No one, apart from half the husbands in Hastings. And maybe you should talk to Sir Michael. Foyle: Oh, why? Beryl: Gordon was always getting money from him. A tenner here, a fiver there. And we got this house for nothing. Foyle picks up a picture frame. Foyle: Who is this? Is this your father? She nods. Beryl: It was taken the year before he died. Foyle: Oh, I'm sorry. Er, you got this house for nothing. Why was that, do you think? Beryl: He never told me. It was something to do with his dad. He served with Sir Michael in the wr. Foyle: He was his batman. Beryl: I never met him. But if he was anything like his son... Foyle: Anyone, um, who can look after you, Mrs Drake? Beryl: I suppose I'll telephone Pip. Foyle: Who's Pip? Beryl: My brother, Pip. He's... in London. I haven't seen him for a while, but maybe he'll come down. Outside. Foyle and Milner walk back towards the car. Milner: D'you think she klled him, sir? Foyle: No. Do you? Milner: No. Although God knows she'd have every reason to. How can any man treat a woman like that? Sam: Sir, that man, Gordon Drake. It's a bit embarrassing, but sort of I know who he is. Foyle: Yes? Sam: I believe he works at the same airfield as, as your son. I have a friend, Anne Bolton. She's walking out with a pilot, Greville Woods. Foyle: Yeah, he's a friend of Andrew's. Sam: He's staying here at Digby Manor. He's been hurt. But what happened to Woods may have been partly his fault. Foyle: What, so you mean Woods is in the burns unit? Digby Manor. Jamieson enters his office, where Foyle is waiting. Foyle: I'm very sorry to trouble you again, Mr Jamieson. I- Jamieson: Do me a favour, Mr Foyle, get this investigation over with as soon as possible and then get out of here. Foyle: There are still one or two questions to be asked, I'm afraid. Jamieson: I have a patient waiting through there, a young pilot. He has burns to his hands and face and he may lose the use of his eyes. Now, do you want me to stand here answering your questions or go through there and get on with his treatment? Foyle: Well, the young pilot you were talking about is a very close friend of my son, who is also a young pilot. I'm fully aware that the, er, work you're doing here is considerably more important than Drake's mrder or who did it, and quite bloody frankly I'd much rather not be here either, but, erm, should Drake's life not matter because he was, er, less of a man than the, er, men you're treating? Jamieson: Well, I'm, I'm sorry. I will answer your questions, yes. Foyle: Thank you. Well, there aren't any. Not for you. I had one or two more for Doctor Wrenn, who's speaking with my sergeant now. I thought it only a courtesy, er, just to let you know that that was happening, and my apologies for keeping you from Greville Woods' treatment. Jamieson: Doctor Wrenn is a suspect? He was at the concert party with us last night. Foyle: Er, not all the time. Outside. Milner: and Wrenn walk through the grounds together. Wrenn: Yes, I was feeling exhausted. I needed some air. So, er, I, I came out of that door there and, er, I strolled for a couple of minutes only. Milner: Forgive me, sir, but it was longer than that. Wrenn: Well, five minutes, tops. Milner: When you went back in, you had mud on your clothes. Wrenn: I slipped. I don't know how you can interrogate me this way, Milner. I helped you. You wouldn't even be working for the police if it wasn't for me. Milner: Did you notice anything when you came out here? Wrenn: Er, yes. Erm, well, not Drake. There was a girl. Milner: Can you describe her? Wrenn: Er, slim, no more than twenty years old, quite pretty. Er, she was over there. I hadn't seen her before. Police station. Foyle and Sam are walking in together. Foyle: So, you've met Woods? Sam: Er, yes, sir. Foyle: How many times? Sam: Er, a few. Foyle: Well, if you've met him, then you must have seen Andrew? Sam: Yes, I've seen him there, once or twice. Foyle: There? Where's there? Sam: Wherever. Foyle: No idea you had such a wide social circle. Sam: Social circle? It, it was just drinks, really. Sergeant Rivers steps out as they pass the front desk. Rivers: Excuse me, sir. There's an ARP warden, Peter Preston, I think you know him. Foyle: Yeah. Sam leaves while they're talking. Rivers: He'd like to have a word with you, sir. He says it's urgent. Foyle: Right. He looks around and sees that Sam has gone. Foyle's office. Preston: It was stupid of me, sir. It was none of my business. Foyle: What were you doing there in the first place? Preston: Blackout infringement, sir. She was showing a light. Foyle: And why did you feel you needed to tell him? Preston: Just didn't seem right to me, sir, a woman having men in the house while her husband's at work. Foyle: Did you know the man you saw there? Preston: I knew of him. Everyone knew Gordon Drake. Bit of a dodgy customer. Foyle: Make a practice of involving yourself in the private lives of the people on your rounds? Preston: No, sir. I've never done it before, and that's why I've come to you now. I feel awful. He's dad and I may be to blame. Wrenn house. Mary: I knew him when he worked at the garage on Fawcett Road. He was always very polite, very friendly. Foyle: And was he here often? Mary: Yes. He cared. At least he paid me some attention. It's not too much to ask, is it? Foyle: And he was here the night the warden came round, is that right? Mary: He, er, came to fix the lights. There was a fuse or something. And of course, he stayed. He gave me stockings. Real ones. He made me feel good. Brian was never here. Someone told him and, of course, he ht the roof. The usual dramatics. He even told me he'd kll Gordon Drake. But do you think he did it? I tell you, he didn't. I know Brian and he doesn't have it in him. Airfield. Wing Commander Turner comes out of his office building. Turner: Any sign of Andrew Foyle yet? RAF Officer: No, sir. Digby Manor. Petrie walks past a medicine store, and then turns back and goes inside. A cabinet has been left open, the top shelf emptied. She looks around the rest of the room and then hurries back out. She spots Mrs Roecastle dusting a room nearby. Petrie: Mrs Roecastle, have you seen anyone come this way? Roecastle: No, Matron. Petrie: How long have you been here? Roecastle: Just a few minutes. Petrie leaves and Roecastle goes on with her dusting. Jamieson (voiceover): How much is missing? Petrie: All of it, Mr Jamieson. Smythe steps forward from where he's been listening. Smythe: What are we talking about here? Several pounds of morphine? Petrie: Diamorphine hydrochloride in powder and in pills. Mrs Roecastle was right outside and she didn't see anything. Smythe: Has it occurred to any of you to keep the pharmacy locked? Jamieson: It was locked. Petrie: We have to order more supplies immediately. We have patients who need their evening doses. Smythe: It's another mess, Mr Jamieson. Another complete mess. A road in Hastings. Sam wheels her bicycle back towards her lodgings. Andrew is lurking behind a car outside the building. Andrew: Sam. Sam: Andrew! What on Earth are you doing here? Andrew: I have to see you. Sam: Shouldn't you be at...? You'd better come inside. Living room. Andrew sits warming his hands in front of the gas fre. Sam brings him a cup of tea. Sam: Here, have some tea. I wish I had some whiskey or something, but it's all I've got. Andrew: I had to see you. Sam: If my landlady comes in here and finds us, we're both for the high jump. I thought you were on duty. Andrew: Sam... I've gone AWOL. Sam: What? Why? Andrew: I can't go back. I don't care what happens to me. Sam: But you must. They'll come looking for you. Andrew, what is it? Andrew: I'm so tired. For weeks now. I don't sleep, I can't eat, I feel sick. Sometimes I can't stand it because you're not with me. But at other times, I don't care if I ever see you again. I know that's a horrible things to say. I don't want it to be true, but it's as if you don't exist for me. As if we never met. Sam: You're tired, that's all. Andrew: I'm not just tired, Sam! When I saw Greville and, and the others in that place... Sam: You don't need to think about them. Because it's not going to happen to you. Andrew: It will happen to me, I know. He was in my plane, Sam. He flew my op. It should have been me. Sam: You can't stay here, Andrew. You've got to go back. Andrew: I can't. Sam: They'll find you. You can't run away from them forever. He starts to cry, shaking his head. Andrew: Don't make me go back. Sam: (Oh, darling.) Andrew: Don't make me go back. She pulls him into a hug as he sobs. River. Foyle is out fishing downstream from a bridge. He notices a number of dad fish floating in the water and sets his fishing rod aside to scoop one up in a net. Foyle (voiceover): Medical officer in? He sets a basket full of fish on the front desk at the police station. Rivers: He's downstairs, sir. Ooh, a very lucky morning for you, sir. Foyle: Yeah, if only. Rivers: Are these for lunch, then, sir? Foyle: Not this time, I'm afraid. Get him to take a look at them, would you? Rivers: Why, what's the matter with them? Foyle: Well, hopefully, we'll find out. Milner leans in through the doorway. Milner: Sir? Doctor Wrenn's here. Interview room. Wrenn: I'm not lying to you. Everything I've told you is the truth. Both Foyle and Milner are there to question him. Foyle: And you've never met Gordon Drake, is that right? Wrenn: Yes, I've never met him. Er, well, I knew who he was. Foyle: Even though he was having an affair with your wife? Wrenn: I knew- I knew she was seeing someone. Drake! Foyle: Did you kll him? Wrenn: I'm a doctor! Milner, for heaven's sake. Milner: This is the shirt you were wearing on the night of the review. He drops it on the desk and slides it towards Wrenn. There's a bloodstain on the cuff. Wrenn: Where did you get that? Milner: There's blood on the sleeve. Can you explain it? Wrenn: It's easy to explain. It's my work! One way or another, I'm in contact with blood almost every day of my life. Foyle's office. He and Milner walk in together. Milner: I don't think he klled Drake, sir. Foyle: Oh, why's that? Milner: Because I know him and I don't think he's capable of mrder. Foyle: Possible your relationship might be affecting your judgment? Milner: Yes, perhaps. He was a dedicated man and a brilliant doctor. When I came back to England, I wasn't good for anything much. Foyle: Yeah, I remember. Milner: It wasn't just that he helped patch me up. When you asked me to work with you, he helped persuade me. Foyle: I didn't know that. Well, if he didn't do it, somebody did. Spoken to Anne Bolton? Milner: No, she wasn't at work yesterday. Foyle: She might be today. There's a knock on the office door. Foyle: Yeah? Rivers enters with a report. Rivers: Compliments of the MO, sir. He says you should definitely change your fishing technique. Foyle: Oh, did he, really? He opens the report. Digby Manor. Foyle (voiceover): How much is missing? He's in the medicine store with Smythe and Jamieson. Jamieson: Half a dozen bottles, large ones, and four bags of diamorphine hydrochloride, about this size. He holds his hands a little under a foot apart. Foyle: You keep an inventory? Jamieson: Of course. Smythe: It seems impossible this could happen in broad daylight. Jamieson: Yes, the thief would have to have made several journeys, or else carry it out in one very large bag. Smythe: Through the middle of the hospital. Jamieson: Absolutely. Bound to have been seen. Smythe: What do you think, Mr Foyle? I imagine a haul like this would be worth a ransom to one of these London gangs. Foyle: Anybody in the corridor when this happened? Smythe: Only Mrs, um, Roecastle. She was cleaning. Jamieson: Well, she couldn't have taken it. She could hardly manage one of the bottles. Foyle: And, er, who found all this, then? Jamieson: Grace Petrie. Outside. Petrie is escorting Bridges, now in uniform, to a taxi. Bridges: Well, goodbye, Matron. Petrie: Goodbye, Mr Bridges. I can't say I'll miss you. You've been one of my worst patients and a very bad influence on the ward. Bridges: And you've been a complete tyrant who's made my life almost unbearable. Petrie: Well, seems we understand each other perfectly. Bridges: I think we always did. He gets into the taxi and she watches it drive away. Then she turns and heads back in. Aircraft factory. Milner: Miss Bolton? Were you at Digby Manor the night before last? Anne: Do you think I klled Gordon Drake? Milner: Do you blame him for what happened to your fiancé? Anne: Yes. But I didn't kll him. I was there, though. I arrived at about nine o'clock. There was music coming from inside the hospital. But I didn't see anything. So there's nothing I can tell you. Milner: And why were you there? Anne: Sam told me Greville had been hurt. She told me I should visit him. But it was only when I was there, I realised I didn't want to. Does that sound very cruel to you, Sergeant Milner? I can't see him. I don't want to see him. I want the Greville Woods I was in love with, the Greville I was going to marry. I tried to make myself visit him. That's why I was there that night. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't face him. Milner: Thank you, Miss Bolton. He stands to leave. Anne: You think I'm disgusting. Milner: No. But I will speak out of turn, if you don't mind. He pats his left leg. Milner: This is fake. It's aluminium. I lost most of my leg at Trondheim last year. I was a mess when they carried me home. Maybe not as bad as your fiancé, but there was massive scarring everywhere. Anne: I'm sorry. Milner: You shouldn't be. I'm the man I was before. I haven't changed. Anne: And what are you saying? That Greville is still the same? Milner: He won't be if you leave him. He walks away. Sir Michael's cottage. Foyle is there, speaking with Sir Michael and Mrs Roecastle. Foyle: And it's, er, been fairly obvious from the beginning that somebody has taken great exception to the manor's use as a burns centre and, er, has done everything to get Mr Jamieson and his team out. Sir Michael: Do you know who this person is, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Sir Michael, it is your house. It's you who's been turned out of it and forced to live here. Sir Michael: It's the wr. Foyle: Which is why sabotage is a particularly serious crime and why with great regret, I now have to arrest you. Roecastle: No. No, no, no! You're wrong! Foyle: And with the, er, possible charge of attempted mrder, I, er, feel it only fair to warn you a very long prison sentence may be involved. Roecastle: No! It wasn't him. Foyle: Who was it, then, Mrs Roecastle? Roecastle: It was me. Foyle: Thank you. Sorry to have put you through that, sir. Sir Michael: Mrs Roecastle, is this true? Roecastle: Yes, sir. I didn't mean to hurt anybody, but I had to get them out. Foyle: Perhaps, erm, the way you began, with, erm, stolen papers, torn sheets, er, was forgivable but not the degree to which it escalated. Sir Michael: How, escalated? Foyle: Well, you told us, for example, that, erm, you heard Doctor Wrenn coming down the stairs from the roof, when in fact nobody can hear anything on those carpeted stairs through that door. It was you, wasn't it, who pushed the statue? Flashback to Smythe getting into the car. Driver: Look out! The lion statue crashes down onto the car bonnet, and Mrs Roecastle looks down from the battlements. Cottage. Sir Michael: And all those stolen drugs? Was that you? Flashback to Petrie finding the shelf empty. Back at the cottage, Roecastle nods. Foyle: You don't have the drugs, do you? You dumped them in the river. Flashback to Foyle scooping up the dad fish. Foyle (voiceover): And the diamorphine klled the fish. Cottage. Mrs Roecastle sobs. Sir Michael: How did you get them out of the house? Flashback to Mrs Roecastle doing her dusting, her vacuum cleaner next to her. Foyle (voiceover): You, er, put them in the, erm, bag of the vacuum cleaner you were using outside the pharmacy, didn't you? Cottage. Mrs Roecastle nods. Sir Michael: Those drugs were needed. Why did you do this? Roecastle: For you, sir. I knew they were breaking your heart, taking over the manor house. I, I could see what they were doing to you. Sir Michael: No, no, no! He stands up, banging his cane for emphasis. Sir Michael: I don't mind. Those poor young men, so terribly hurt, I'm glad they're here. Roecastle: But you had a gn, sir! You were going to use it on yourself. I know you were. Sir Michael: Mrs Roecastle, you've done a terrible, wicked thing. And you haven't understood me at all. You've no idea. Roecastle: I did it for you, sir. Outside. Uniformed officers lead Mrs Roecastle away. She looks back at Sir Michael where he stands with Foyle. Sir Michael: Well, I did think sometimes... often... of taking my own life. Foyle: Why? Sir Michael: Because I know what I am. Because I know I'm a fake. Sometimes living with myself is hard. The two of them walk through the grounds together. Sir Michael: I was at Messines Ridge in the summer of 1917, Battle of Ypres. For God's sake, I was their commanding officer. My batman was a man called Martin Drake, Gordon's father. Foyle: Yes, you told me. Sir Michael: What I didn't tell you was, it was hell. They were strafing us with gas shells. You could hear them whining as they came in overhead. Gas and the shrapnel and the shells, and, and the mud and the blood, and the rfles and the machine gn, the atillery, the noise! And the endlessness of it. I did think it would never end until I was dad, until I was ripped to pieces. Some of the wounds I saw, young men with their entrails hanging out. I'd had enough. I took out my gn and I sht myself in the leg. I had to get out of there, it was the only way. That's what I did. Drake saw. He carried me to the field hospital. And as far as I knew, he never told anyone. And he wrote about it to his son. Gordon turned up here and showed me the letter. He knew it would ruin me. He made me pay. I've been paying ever since. In the end, I expect he'd have taken everything I have. Except my self-respect. Lost that 25 years ago. Foyle: You could work in the hospital here, lots you could do there. Sir Michael: But these men are so... brave. We call them "the few" but who could have thought this country could have produced so many of them? Foyle: My son's one of them. Sir Michael: Then you're a very fortunate man. Foyle says nothing. Hospital ward. Jamieson leans over Greville Woods in his hospital bed. His eyes are still bandaged. Jamieson: Right. Let's have these off and we'll have a look at the damage. Petrie enters the room, followed by Anne. Petrie: Now. Anne: I'd like to come in. I'm his fiancée. Greville: Anne? Jamieson: Absolutely, sit down. The first thing he should see when these things come off is a pretty face like yours. She sits down and takes Greville's hand. Greville: I thought you weren't going to come. Anne: I'm here. I'll never leave you. Jamieson moves to start removing the bandages. Greville: Will I see? Jamieson: Well, let's find out. Greville: Where have you been? Anne: I should have come. But I couldn't bear it. I was afraid. Jamieson removes the gauze from over Greville's eyes. He blinks and looks at Anne. Greville: I can see you. I'm so pleased you're here. Petrie and Jamieson share a smile. Outside Drake's house. Foyle stands studying the water trough. Police station. Wing Commander Turner is at the front desk. Rivers points towards the door. Rivers: Oh, sir... Turner: Ah, Mr Foyle. He approaches Foyle as he and Sam enter. Foyle: Wing Commander. Turner: I wonder if I might have a word. Foyle: Certainly. He leads the way to his office. Turner: I shouldn't be here, Mr Foyle. It goes against every rule in the book. He closes the door behind him. The two of them sit down at the desk. Foyle: What's the problem? Turner: I'm afraid that Andrew is absent without leave and I was hoping you might be able to help me find him. Foyle: So you can do what, exactly? Turner: For the moment, he's been gone less than 48 hours, but even so, I should have reported his absence to the RAF police. You know, too many of the top brass at Command and Group still think that human error and human weakness is all a question of morale. And they're too ready to throw the book at anyone who steps out of line. LMF, they call it. "Lack of moral fibre". Foyle: What do you call it? Turner: Well, I see the truth of it. These young men, we ask so much of them. It's not just the number of ops they fly and the mental strain, it's, it's lack of sleep. No wonder they get ill. Flying stress, combat fatigue, shell shock, even. There are many names, there just aren't enough of us prepared to recognise it. Foyle: Well, he's certainly not been himself recently but I've not seen him for a day or two. Turner: In that case, there's nothing I can do. He'll be charged with desertion. He stands up. Foyle: Erm... how long has he got? Turner: I can give him until two o'clock this afternoon. No longer than that. He leaves the office, passing Sam standing outside. Foyle cocks an eyebrow at her expectantly. Sam's lodgings. Foyle approaches the front door and knocks. Andrew answers it. Andrew: Dad. Foyle: Andrew. Andrew: How did you know I was here? Foyle: How do you think? Get your coat. A quiet pub. Andrew sits at one of the tables as Foyle him a drink. Foyle: Thank you. He brings it over to the table. Andrew: Thanks. So, you know about me and Sam. Foyle: I do. Andrew: Sorry. Foyle: For what? Andrew: Well, she is your driver. Foyle: Well, yeah, she's my, erm, very attractive driver and it's perfectly understandable. Andrew: Anyway, I've let everyone down, haven't I? Foyle: No, not at all. That's not the case. Turner came to see me. Andrew: Did he? Foyle: He wants you back. Andrew: For the court martial. Foyle: Well, no. Well, as long as you're back by two, that is. No, he's, um... See, I met a man the other day who fought in the last wr. He was in the thick of it and, erm, reached the point where rather than fight, he chose to sh*t himself in the leg. See, 25 years ago that was cowardice and he'd have been sht, er, if he'd been found out. But nowadays, see, men like Turner have a better understanding of the limit to how much you can ask of people, and he seems to think, er, you've got a kind of combat fatigue. Sort of like another way of getting brned. Andrew: So, so, he asked you to find me? Foyle: Well, no, but he gave me the opportunity. Sam helped. And, er, all three of us have your best interests at heart because we, er, care about you. Andrew: Dad, I know who, who klled Gordon Drake. Foyle: Yeah, so do I. Andrew: No, I was there when it happened. I was waiting for him at his house. Foyle: Well, what were you doing there? Andrew: I don't know. I, I was gonna confront him. It was his fault that Greville was brned. Maybe I'd have klled him myself. Flashback to Drake wheeling his bike back home. Andrew looks out from behind a tree. Drake stops and looks around. Drake: Is someone there? Wrenn (offscreen): Drake! Drake: What? Wrenn: You leave my wife alone. He whacks Drake across the head, then hurries away. Andrew (voiceover): It was Wrenn, one of the doctors at the hospital. Cut back to the pub. Foyle: Yeah, well, he's, um, he's in custody, which is, er, where you're gonna be if you don't get back to the airfield. Sam will drive you. Andrew: Oh, it's all right, I'll, I'll go on my own. Foyle: No, Sam'll drive you. You haven't got time. She'll drop you outside the base, you can walk in on your own. Andrew nods and finishes his drink. Digby Manor. Jamieson and Smythe emerge from the building together. Jamieson: You're going straight back to the Ministry, then, Group Captain? Smythe: Yes, Mr Jamieson. Now that this business of the sabotage has been taken care of, there doesn't seem to be any reason for me to stay. Jamieson: And you'll be putting in your report? Smythe: I already have. Jamieson: And? Jamieson: I've pointed out that you are arrogant, ill-disciplined, disrespectful, that you run this place entirely as a law unto yourself. He goes over to his car and one of the RAF officers takes his suitcase for him. RAF Officer: Sir. Smythe: I have also made it clear that you get results and that the patients here have a great deal to be thankful for. I have therefore recommended that just you be allowed to get on with things without interference from people such as myself. Jamieson: Thank you. Smythe gets into his car. Smythe: Good luck. Jamieson waves as the car drives away, then bounds back into the building. Police station. Milner meets Foyle as he arrives in the reception area. Milner: Sir, Doctor Wrenn has asked to see you. Foyle: Right. Sergeant. Rivers: Sir? Foyle: Have you seen Preston? Rivers: Preston? I think he's in the canteen, sir. Foyle: Have you got the household registry form he filled in for the Wrenns' place? Rivers: It'll be in the Wrenn file, sir. Foyle: Thank you. He comes around behind the front desk. Foyle: It's, um, Peter Preston, isn't it? Rivers: Yes, sir. He hands Foyle the file. Foyle: Yeah. He opens the file and takes a brief look, then turns back to Rivers. Foyle: Right. Ask him to, er, pop in if he's got a second, would you? Rivers: Sir. Interview room. Wrenn: Mr Foyle, I haven't told you the truth. Foyle: Well, we, erm... we sort of spotted that. He sits down next to Milner opposite Wrenn. Foyle: Will you be telling us the truth now? Wrenn: Yes. You were right. I klled Gordon Drake. I, I didn't plan to, not, not exactly. He was seeing my wife. He was a worthless piece of trash and I couldn't stand it any more. I slipped out of the concert. I was- I was just gonna confront him, that's all, but then I saw him and I just lost control. I picked up a stone. I never meant to kll him. I just- I just wanted to hurt him, just knock him down. Milner: And is that all that you did? Wrenn: Yes. But he was- he was still breathing, when- I could have sworn. But, I don't know. I was ashamed and I just ran off and left him. Foyle: Well, I'm glad you've, erm, chosen to tell us because, in fact, you were seen. Wrenn: Who? Foyle: Well, it seems half of Hastings had, er, decided to do away with him at more or less the same time. It just so happened that you managed to get there first. Wrenn starts to cry. Wrenn: I'm so sorry. I st- I still can't believe it. It's madness. Foyle: How do you imagine he died? Wrenn: Er... well, I just assumed I'd fractured his skull. Foyle: He drowned. Wrenn: What? Milner: The blow to the head wasn't fatal. His lungs were full of water. Wrenn: Water? Milner: There's a trough beside the house. Wrenn: Yes. Is that, that, er- I remember it, but he was nowhere near it when he fell. I'm, I'm sure of it. Wh... If you're- if you're saying that he drowned in the trough, then that means... Foyle: You're off the hook! Well, you could still be charged with common asault or even attempted mrder. Wrenn: Well, I never- I never intended to kll him. Foyle: Well, I believe you. I also believe that, er, I'm in your debt since it seems I wouldn't have Milner here if, er, if it hadn't been for you. Wrenn: You- you're gonna let me go? Foyle: See Doctor Wrenn out, will you? Milner: Yes, sir. I'd be glad to. Foyle leaves the two of them alone. Wrenn sits at the table sobbing. Airfield. Turner (voiceover): I'm very glad to see you, Foyle. Andrew stands to attention in his office. Andrew: Thank you, sir. Turner: You'll be pleased to hear that I spoke to Greville Woods this morning. He's gonna be all right. Andrew: That is good news, sir. Turner: At least he still has his sight and they'll be able to patch him up again. His girl's standing by him, which is good. But as for you, Foyle, you've come to the end of the road. You're being posted to an OTU to instruct. You're gonna be giving the young blood some fresh ideas. Er, I'd already come to this decision before you took a couple of days' unofficial leave. You're no longer on ops, Foyle. You've done enough, more than enough. Andrew: Sir... Turner: I want you to know how happy I am for you. You were a cheeky young sod when you first came here, but you're a damn fine fighter pilot. And you've grown, and strengthened in stature, and I'm glad that you've made it through. I'll miss you. You've done a bloody good job. Andrew: Thank you, sir. Turner: You can fly up to Debden tomorrow morning, 605 Squadron. And you're also being promoted. Flight lieutenant. Good luck, Foyle. Andrew: Sir. He salutes. Foyle's office. Peter Preston knocks on the door. Foyle (offscreen): Yeah? He and Milner are both inside. Preston: Sorry. Er, you asked to see me, sir. Foyle: Yes, have you got a moment? Preston: Yes, of course. Foyle: Come in. Sit down. Preston: Is this about Doctor Wrenn, sir? Foyle: Well, yes, in a way. Preston: Obviously, I should never have told Doctor Wrenn about Drake and his wife. Foyle: Well, yes, there's that, and, um, your involvement in the mrder. Preston: mrder? Foyle: Drake's mrder. Preston: Sorry, beg your pardon? Foyle: You're responsible, correct? Preston: I... Foyle: Care to tell us why? Preston: I didn't even know the man. Foyle: Well, of course you did. Preston: Well, yes, I knew of him, but no, I'd never met him. Foyle: He's your brother-in-law. I mean, you're Pip, aren't you? Preston: My name's Peter. Foyle: Well, that's right. He picks the file with the details that Preston filled out on the Wrenns. Foyle: Peter Ian Preston and known within your family, especially by Beryl, er, by your initials. I mean, she's your sister, correct? He shows Preston the form, headed with his full name. Foyle: Her maiden name was Preston, both grew up in the Forest of Dean. Not much of your accent left but you're the spitting image of your father. Flashback to Foyle picking up the framed photo at Beryl's house. Foyle: Who is this? Is this your father? Beryl: It was taken the year before he died. Foyle (voiceover): Your sister didn't land you in it, by the way. Cut back to the office. Foyle: Or rather, she didn't intentionally. However, she did mention a brother, Pip, but seemed nervous about it having done so and, er, made out he was living in London. Preston: She's my sister, yes. Milner: Tell us what happened the night of the concert. Preston: The night of the concert, I was going round to see her. I didn't know he'd be there. Flashback to Preston approaching the Drake house. He hears Drake crying out and groaning in pain, and finds him on the ground by the trough, clutching his head. Drake: Ah! Help! Preston: What happened? Drake: Ah! Wrenn. Argh! Preston looks around, then bends down to lift him up. Preston: Come on, come on. He drags him backwards, Drake's shoe coming off. Drake: Wrenn! Preston abruptly turns him over and shoves his face into the water in the trough. Milner (voiceover): It couldn't have worked out better for you. All you had to do was drag him to the trough and force his head into the water. You hoped, correctly, that Doctor Wrenn would take the blame. Drake goes still. Cut back to the office. Milner: As long as nobody knew the connection between you and Beryl, you'd be in the clear. Foyle: If you'd left him underwater and put his shoe back on, you might have got away with it. Preston: You should have seen the way he treated her. He was a bully, he was a wife-beater. I had to protect her. I had to... put him down. And I don't care what happens to me. I'm glad. I did it. Airfield. Foyle walks with Andrew towards a Spitfire. Foyle: You'll write, then? Andrew: Of course I will. Foyle: I wonder. Andrew laughs. Foyle: You got cash? Andrew: Yeah, I'm fine, Dad. Foyle: And how do you feel? Andrew: It's hard to say. I can't believe it's all over. I can't imagine there'll be anything like it in my life ever again. Foyle: Well, at least you've got the chance of a life now, assuming we get through all this. Sam is pacing by the Spitfire. Foyle: Seems there's a queue to say goodbye to you. Andrew: See you, Dad. He hugs his father, then Foyle walks away. Andrew goes over to meet Sam. Sam: I hate goodbyes. Andrew: Oh, come on, Sam. It's only Debden. It's not that far. Sam: I know. Andrew: We'll write. Sam sniffles. Andrew: And there are always weekends. Sam: Oh. Please don't try to cheer me up any more, Andrew. Andrew: Well, you look after Dad for me. Sam: We'll look after each other. Andrew: Good luck, Sam. Sam: And you. They kiss, and then Andrew climbs into the cockpit. He smiles down at her again, and then she goes back to join Foyle by the car, wiping her eyes. Behind her, a member of the ground crew finishes checking Andrew's plane over and walks away. Aircraftsman: Good luck. Foyle: You all right? Sam: Yes, sir. All present and correct. Foyle: Well, I'll miss him. Will you? Sam: Yes, sir. I'm sorry, I, I didn't mean to become involved. Well, I did, but... Foyle laughs. Foyle: Well, the Foyles, you know, always have been hard to resist. Sam laughs. Sam: Absolutely, sir. The Spitfire's engine starts, and they both stand and watch as Andrew flies away.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "03x02 - Enemy f*re"}	foreverdreaming
An air-raid in progress. bmb fall and bells ring. CAPTION: APRIL 1941 German aircraft. One of the crew, Sabartovski, is reading a radar screen. Sabartovski: Feindliche Flugkraefte, 260 Grad. Schimmel looks back at him from the co-pilot's seat. Schimmel: Welche Hoehe? Sabartovski: Schwer zu sagen. The aircraft is ht by flak. One of the crew, Gottlieb, is ht, falling back with a cry of pain. Schimmel: Scheisse! Es ist getroffen! Sabartovski: Gottlieb! The pilot, Kraus, looks back. Kraus: Sie gehen unter. Ich kann es nicht lenken mehr. Sabartovski: Gottlieb ist tot. Kraus gets up from his seat. Kraus: Wir muessen springen. Schimmel: Ich kann die Maschine nicht beherrschen. Sabartovski: Wir sind verloren. He grabs his parachute. Kraus speaks into the radio. Kraus: Wir gehen unter. Unsere Position ist 46 Grad Nord, vier Grad Sued. Schimmel: Aus! The three surviving crew jump out, but only two parachutes are seen to descend. OPENING CREDITS Countryside. A land girl, Rose Henshall, steers a horse-drawn plough. Rose: Walk on. Whoa! Whoa, boys. That's it. Good boys. A group of cows emerge from their barn, being herded by another land girl, Joan Dillon. Joan: Come on, girls. The farmer, Hugh Jackson, stands watching. An older woman, Barbara Hicks, emerges from the building behind, wearing a land girl uniform and a red coat. Joan: Come on. Come on. Barbara collects her bicycle and nods to the farmer before riding away. Joan gathers up the last of the cows. Joan: Good girls. That's it. Behind her, Jackson heads back indoors. A country road. Sam is driving along with Foyle and Milner in the car. Sam: Hard to believe it's spring, sir, what with the air-raids. Milner: Plane crashes. Foyle: Road blocks. How many have we been through? Milner: Six, sir. Sam: bmb last night, and lambs are being born this morning! Milner: Spring. And the smell of cordite in the air. Sam: Doesn't make any sense, does it, sir? Foyle: I agree. They come to a halt amid open fields, where a Home Guard Captain and one of his stand over a body. The captain walks over to meet them by the road. Captain: Much appreciated, Chief Superintendent. We're stretched pretty thin. Three of their planes down, well, that we've counted, and one of ours. As they start towards the body, he stops Sam from following. Captain: Er, no, I, I shouldn't look, miss. The chute didn't open. He's a bit of a mess. She reluctantly returns to the car as the others go to look at the body. Foyle crouches down to inspect the parachute. Milner: Has that been cut? Foyle: Looks like it. Captain: Er, two more of them landed safely across the valley there. We found the chutes, but the Jerries had hopped it. The dogs picked up their scent. He pulls out a map to show them. Captain: Now, it seems they were heading that way. Foyle: Back towards the plane? Captain: Yes. Yes, looks like it. Foyle: We should take a look. Milner nods. Ford outside the Jackson farm. Hugh Jackson stands watching as a lorry drives through the water. It's hauling something large covered by a tarpaulin. The two land girls spot it and hurry over to look. Joan: Oh! Jackson greets one of the deliverymen with a smile. Jackson: All right? Barbara arrives on her bike as the deliverymen are removing the tarpaulin from a new John Deere tractor. The girls both gasp and laugh in delight at the sight of it. Barbara: God bless America, eh? Jackson: We paid for it. Yanks are making money hand over fist from this wr, just like anyone else. He spits on the ground. Barbara: Why do you have to be so rude? Jackson: Why d'you have to stay here and not in the hostel like the other women? Barbara: Because the Land Army billeted me. Rose and Joan stay here. Rose: We have cows to milk at five in the morning. Joan: Yeah, d'you wanna help us? Barbara turns and wheels her bike away. The two girls giggle and hug each other. As the tractor is unloaded, the neighbouring farmer, Curling, marches up to Jackson. Curling: How the hell d'you pull that one off? I put in for one of them fourteen months ago. Joan: Yeah, but you won't need one if they took your farm. Curling points accusingly at Jackson. Curling: If you and you pals on the committee even consider thrat me and my farm, if you even set foot on it, I'll blow your bloody heads off! Jackson: You step out of my yard, Curling! He gives Curling a shove, and the two of them tussle. Joan: I warned you! Rose: Careful! Curling punches Jackson. Rose: Oi! Get off him! Jackson hits him back and shoves him away. Jackson: Oi, get out of it! Get off my land, boy! The scene of the plane crash. The soldier on guard meets Foyle and Milner as they approach. Soldier: A Dornier, I'd say, sir, from the tail. Er, three crew. One of them's still in there. He points out a body under the wreckage. Soldier: I managed to fish out some bits and pieces. Foyle: Three crew? Soldier: Yes, sir. They look at the damaged equipment salvaged from the plane. Foyle: I don't understand why the two that landed safely would be heading back to this. I'd make for the coast, wouldn't you? Milner: That would make sense. Foyle: We should take a look for them. Would you come? He nods to the soldier. Soldier: Yes, sir. Woods. The surviving German crewmembers, Sabartovski and Schimmel, run through the trees. Sabartovski trips and falls and Schimmel goes back for him. Schimmel: Um Gottes Willen halten Sie mit. Jackson farm. Jackson rides the new tractor around as the two land girls watch. Joan approaches him as he comes to a halt. Joan: Tom's home day after tomorrow. Jackson: That's of no interest to you. You think you're going to snare my boy? Joan: Yeah, why shouldn't I? Jackson: You shan't get my son and you shan't get the farm. Joan: Yeah, well, I have worked hard to make it- Rose gives her a nudge. Rose: If you don't like it, you can always go back to London, Joanie. Woods. The two Germans keep running. Milner, Foyle and the soldier make their way through the trees nearby. Milner stops and points as he spots the Germans. Milner: Sir, through there. A ploughed field. The two land girls heft heavy baskets and dig with trowels to plant potatoes. Jackson rides behind on his tractor. Joan: My back's klling me. I'll leave you with lover boy. She goes over to sit on a nearby bank as Jackson gets down from the tractor. She can faintly hear Rose and Jackson arguing at the other side of the field. Rose: Why do you just go off like this? I know, I've tried. She tries to stop him from walking away, glancing back over towards Joan. Rose: Don't make a scene. Wait! Wait a minute. He shoves her away from him and she falls to the ground. Joan sits up, watching. Jackson: For God's sake, Rose! Oh! She grabs at him to try and stop him as he walks away. Woods. As the two Germans run between the trees, there are two gn from behind them. Soldier: Halt! He, Foyle and Milner emerge from a gate behind. The Germans come to a stop and Schimmel grabs for his gn. The soldier fires a warning sht above their heads. Schimmel gives up on going for the gn. Milner walks up and takes it from the holster, then pats him down. Milner: That's all. He moves on to do the same to Sabartovski. Milner: He's not armed. Later. The group have rejoined Sam at the car. The two Germans sit on the grass in front of the car, with the soldier keeping watch over them. Schimmel: Stellen Sie sich nicht so an. Sabartovski has unbuttoned his flight suit to look at his injured shoulder. Sabartovski: The parachute has nearly broke my arms. Foyle: You both speak English? Schimmel: Yes. It is normal. Foyle: The other airman who jumped with you didn't make it, I'm afraid. Erm, the cord to his parachute seemed to have been cut for some reason. The Germans look at each other and Schimmel nods. As Foyle moves towards the car they start to talk to each other. Sabartovski: Der defekte Fallschirm wr fur mich gemeint. Schimmel: Wovon sprechen Sie, denn? Sabartovski: Ich weiss zu viel uber das Funkmessegerat. Schimmel: Seien Sie still! Sabartovski: Sie wollten das ich dass nicht überlebe. Sie haben mir den defekten Fallschirm gegeben, nur hatte Kraus ihn bekomme. Schimmel: Verdammt! Seien Sie still. Foyle: What are your names? Schimmel stands up and gives the nzi salute. Schimmel: Oberleutnant Schimmel. Foyle: And yours? Sabartovski stands. Sabartovski: Sabartovski. A military vehicle is approaching them. Foyle: Right. The, erm, plane you arrived in needs only a crew of three, it seems, yet there were four of you. One dad on the plane, one in the valley, and you two. I, er, was wondering if you'd... He turns as Major Cornwall and Private Tom Jackson get out of the car. Tom: Right. Hande hoch. Hande hoch! Cornwall: Private Jackson, stop that. Treat them with the respect they deserve. He salutes the two Germans, and Schimmel salutes back. Cornwall: Major Cornwall, Prisoner of wr Interrogation Service. He shakes hands with both of them. Cornwall: You're very welcome, gentlemen. Private Jackson. Tom: If you wouldn't mind? He leads them towards the car. Foyle: Er, can I have a word? Cornwall: Yes, of course. Foyle: Er, having spoken to these two, er, not everything's quite as it should be. Cornwall: Well, thank you for the tip-off. He turns to go. Foyle: Well, Major, the point is- Cornwall: We're very grateful for your help, but we would really prefer as a general rule if people didn't speak to enemy prisoners and left them to us. We are the experts. We run a very sophisticated show. Amateur sleuthing is, of course, understandable, but, um, unhelpful. Foyle: Right. Cornwall: Thank you. He goes round to get in the car, and Milner and Foyle exchange a look. Jackson farm, night. Another air-raid is going on some distance away. Curling is out with his gn. Farm cottage. Barbara lies awake. At the sound of a gn blast, she gets up and goes to look out of the window. She sees Curling out in the field blasting away repeatedly with his gn. Barbara: (Oh. Oh, God.) In the bunk beds opposite, the two land girls also lie awake. The gn blasts go on. Outside. Barbara leaves the building and gets on her bike. Jackson watches her from a window. Road. Barbara is riding along in the darkness. A man on a bike is heading the other way and clips her with his shoulder in passing. Barbara: Whoa! She turns to look after him, but he doesn't stop. Farmhouse. Tom Jackson arrives on a bike, and Joan meets him at the door. Joan: Hello, lover boy. Tom: Hey! She greets him with a kiss. Farmhouse sitting room. Rose enters the room, where Jackson is waiting. Rose: She's gone out. That Barbara. And Tom's here. Jackson: I know. He goes over to open a drawer and pulls out a revolver. Jackson: Let's do it, then. Rose nods, and they go to leave. Curling's field. Curling picks up a dad rabbit from the grass. He hears a single gn and looks round, then checks his pocket watch. Jackson farm. Rose and Joan ride along on the tractor in the dark. Jackson watches them go, carrying a whiskey bottle. Ford. A lorry drives through in the darkness, heading away from the farm. Later. Jackson, staggering drunk, sits down on a grassy bank. Jackson: Oh. He takes a swig from his whiskey bottle. Then he spots something and stands up, staring. He drops the bottle, clapping a hand over his mouth. Daylight. Sam drives Foyle to the Jackson farm. Milner walks up to meet them as Tom and the women watch. Milner: Morning, sir. Foyle: Morning. They walk towards the building as Sam gets out of the car and looks around. The land girls and Barbara all stare at her, looking unimpressed. Farmhouse sitting room. Jackson is sitting dad in an armchair. Foyle (offscreen): This how you found him? Milner (offscreen): Yes, sir. Foyle (offscreen): Why wouldn't it be su1c1de, then? Milner (offscreen): There's no note, and, when they use a gn don't they normally blow their heads off? The gn is tucked under Jackson's arm. Foyle takes a look around the room. Foyle: Recently fired? Milner: Recently fired, sir. Foyle: Recently drunk as well, wouldn't you say? Milner: Scotch? Foyle: Mmm. Is there a wife? Milner: No, sir, but there's a son, Thomas. He found the body. Outside. Milner and Foyle question Tom where he's standing by the parked tractor. Tom: Well, it was about 6am, 'cause I'd just arrived from barracks. 24-hour pass, on my bike. There's Dad just dad in his chair. Foyle: Why would he have klled himself, do you think? Tom: I don't know. The cows in the stalls opposite are mooing. Joan gets up from where the three women are sitting beside them and marches over. Joan: Oi! Can't you hear them cows? Your little friend won't let us get on and milk 'em. Their titties are going to explode if we don't! Foyle: Well, do. Go ahead. Joan: Oh, well, thank you very much. She gestures towards Tom. Joan: We'll take him too, if you can spare him. Foyle: Yep, certainly. Barbara stands up to leave. Foyle: Are you not with them? Barbara: No. I don't work here. Foyle: Oh, right. But you're Land Army, yeah? Barbara: No. I'm wearing this for a dare. I'm a pole selector. I select poles. I survey woodland to find trees suitable for felling for pit props, for roadblocks, and poles. Foyle: Right. Did you, er, know Mr Jackson? Barbara: Not really. I've only been here a few days. Foyle: Right. First impressions? Barbara: That he was not too different from most men. Rude, lazy, lascivious, and ignorant. Foyle: Right. I see. Thank you very much. Erm, well, don't let me keep you. But if you'd, er, let us know where you'll be, I'd appreciate it. She'd nods and walks away. Barn. Foyle stands talking to Rose as she milks one of the cows. Foyle: So, er, you don't live at the hostel? Rose: Sometimes we do, but with the early start, sometimes we stay here. Foyle: In the house? Joan walks over to join them. Tom is also in the barn with them, shifting hay. Joan: In the cottage. Foyle: Right. Sorry, it's Joan...? Joan: Joan Dillon. Foyle: Joan Dillon. And Rose...? Rose: Rose Henshall. Foyle: Henshall. Thank you. And, erm, Mr Jackson lived alone in the house? Joan: Yeah. Foyle: I suppose, erm, with the air-raid it would have been impossible to hear anything like gn? Joan: Ha! We heard plenty. Foyle: Did you? Joan: Curling was rabbiting. Tom: Curling farms the land just beside here. Foyle: Oh, right. Joan: shting all night he was. Rose: Right close, an' all. Stupid man! He was angry with Hugh. Mr Jackson. Foyle: Oh. Why was that? Rose: You'd better ask him. Foyle: Right. He moves away. Rose gets up from her milking stall, rubbing her back. Then Foyle turns back. Foyle: Where's, erm... Mrs Jackson? Rose: What d'you mean? Foyle: Thomas's mother. Rose: She pushed off with a farm labourer ten or twelve years ago. Foyle: Ah. Fine. Thank you. POW camp. Sabartovski sits alone in an interrogation room. Then Major Cornwall enters the room. Cornwall: Ah. Leutnant Sabartovski. Wie ich sehe, haben Sie etwas Trockenes zum Anziehen bekommen. Sabartovski: Yes. Thank you, Major. Cornwall: Now, the relevant authorities have been notified you're alive and well. Sabartovski: Thank you, sir. Cornwall: I have to ask you some routine questions. You're a Luftwaffe navigator? Sabartovski: Yes, sir. Cornwall: And you're part of the crew of the Dornier? Sabartovski: I would like to help, Herr Major, but my duty is only to tell you my name, my rank- Cornwall: Oh, absolutely, yes. Don't you worry. We play it right by the book here. Geneva Convention, 1929. He sits down opposite Sabartovski. Cornwall: It's your duty to tell me nothing. And it's my duty to ask you to tell me everything. Later. Sabartovski is released into the yard, where he meets Schimmel. Schimmel: Und? Sabartovski: Ging gut. Farmhouse sitting room. Jackson's body has been removed from the chair, leaving a bloodstain and a single bllet hole through the back of the chair. Foyle looks at it, then studies the door behind. He takes out a pocket Knfe and digs at something embedded in the wood. Milner comes into the room. Milner: No sign of the whiskey bottle, sir. Foyle: No? Milner: No. What's that? Foyle digs the bllet out of the door. Foyle: It's a bllet. It's covered in blood. It's from a pstol. What do you think? Fired from here, passes through Jackson into the door, finished off with a gn and make it look like su1c1de? Clever. But not, er, clever enough to fool us, eh, Milner? Milner: Being the amateur sleuths we are. Foyle: Well, quite. But as far as everybody else is concerned, we'll stick with the su1c1de story, shall we? Until someone tells us otherwise. Foyle: Yeah, that sort of thing. Sam enters the room. Sam: Sir! Um, you'd better come. Barbara Hicks has found a German. The three of them and Barbara Hicks drive out to a field, followed by a police car. Curling stands aiming his gn at the German, Raimund Weiser, who hangs apparently unconscious from a parachute caught in a tree. Curling: Put your hands up, you mrder Hun! Put your hands up or I'll sht your bleeding head off! Foyle and Milner get out of the car. Foyle: Sir? Curling swings to aim the gn at them as Barbara gets out from the car behind them. Curling: And you. Foyle: Is this your land? Curling: It should be. Who are you? Foyle: Well, we're the police. Erm, thank you for your help. I think we can manage this now, though. Curling: Yeah. He lowers the gn and starts walking away. Foyle: Are you Mr Curling? Curling: Yes. He keeps walking. Two uniformed officers are freeing Weiser from the parachute. Foyle comes over to assist. Foyle: Can you get him out? Policeman: Yeah. Policeman 2: Yep. They lower Weiser to the ground. Foyle: Right. Pulse? One of the policemen checks. Policeman: Steady, sir. Foyle checks Weiser's holster and finds it empty. Foyle: Hmm. Where's that gone? Luftwaffe lieutenant. See if he's got any more ID. Policeman: Sir. Foyle moves away to join Milner by the car. Barbara Hicks stands watching the policeman searching Weiser. Foyle: A bllet from a pstol klled Jackson, didn't it? Milner: And this man obviously had a pstol at some point. Foyle: Yeah, but rather limited opportunity on the face of it. I'd say a bit short on motive, too. German High Command identifies farmer as vital to British wr effort, drops man with pinpoint accuracy into tree at Jackson Farm. Man assassinates target, then returns to hang from tree. Milner: So perhaps not our main suspect, then. Foyle: Maybe not. Milner: Someone could have taken his pstol while he was hanging half-conscious from the tree, and then used it to kll Jackson. Foyle: Yep. Milner: Miss Hicks for instance? Foyle: Yep. Get him into the car. I'll have a word. Milner: Sir. He approaches the two policemen. Milner: Found anything? Policeman: No, sir. Foyle approaches Barbara. Barbara: I didn't see him come down. I assume it happened during the raid. Foyle: And directly you, er, found him you came to the farm? Barbara: Of course! I wasn't going to get him down on my own. English men are bad enough without getting tangled up with Germans. But even if he did come down during the raid, he wasn't here at 4am. Foyle: Oh, how d'you know that? Barbara: Because I was here at 4am. I came to get a glimpse of the badgers. There's a sett at the edge of the meadow. Foyle: Right. The raid was over by 4am, wasn't it? Barbara: Yes. Foyle: And you were here and you didn't see him? Barbara: I didn't see him because he was not here to be seen. Foyle: And you'd be sure of that because, um...? Barbara: Because this is Quercus Robar. Just as beautiful in the dark. Foyle: Erm, difficult to, um, distinguish a pstol sht in the middle of an air-raid, er, so difficult to be precise about when Mr Jackson died, and, er, unless you know different, nobody else seems to know. Barbara: Well, I'm sure the others told you we were treated to a night of gn. Some from the raid, but mostly from the... inbred moron who lives next door. Foyle: Er, Mr Curling? Barbara: Yes. Foyle: Thank you. Where d'you get your opinion of men? Barbara: Experience. He nods, then after a moment turns and walks away. She smiles. Back at the car, Sam is helping Weiser to drink from a canteen. Weiser: Danke. Sam: He's rallying. Seems very shaken, though. May be a bit concussed. He must have fallen out of the tree with an almighty wallop. Foyle: Get him out of the farmhouse. See what he's got to say when he comes round. Milner: Should I let Cornwall know we've landed another airman? Foyle: Yeah, but no rush. He checks his watch. Foyle: This is going to go into tomorrow, isn't it? See if you can't get us somewhere local for the night. Sam: That'd save petrol, sir. Foyle: I'm gonna go over to Curling, see what he's got to say. Sam: That'd save even more. Foyle: Wouldn't it. Milner: Shall we give Miss Hicks a lift back to the farm? Foyle: Yes, do. Good luck. Curling's farm. He's butchering the rabbits that he sht. Curling: Everything in the Garden of Eden was tickety-boo until the women showed up. Them girls. Hugh Jackson was sitting there drunk, watching the weeds grow. Then in the Autumn of '39, he got the girls in. Well, I was offered an' all, but I didn't think they'd be much cop. I never fancied a woman could do it. But them two? Look at 'em. Joan and Rose are out planting potatoes again. Curling: Them's a miracle, and that's that. Foyle: You and, er, Jackson didn't get on. What was the problem there? Curling: He got on the local committee. The wr Ag. Well, two years back I was ready to buy some of his land. And then now he's on the committee. He gets grants. He's gone up the queue for a tractor. And now he's trying to get the committee to evict me for not putting more of my land under the plough. Well, they done that to a family over Newnham way. Kicked 'em off. Well, they told me to, to grow flax, hoping I'd fail, give them some excuse. Well, it's far too temperamental a crop. You have to pull it up by hand and we just haven't got the drainage, whereas he has got that bottom meadow as would be perfect. Well, you never see the committee forcing him to plough that up. Foyle: Why would he kll himself, then, do you think? Curling: His wife. He never got over that. She just pushed off with this farmhand, Andy Neame. Just left Jackson with the boy. But that's when he took to the drink, to be fair to him. Farmhouse. Weiser sits up propped against a haystack. He's alert now, but when he hears a vehicle arriving he slumps back down. Milner and a uniformed officer stand on guard. Cornwall and another soldier get out of a military vehicle. Cornwall: This the chap, then? Milner: Yes. We're waiting to interview him. Cornwall: Major Cornwall. Prisoner of wr Interrogation Service. You're very welcome. He shakes hands with Weiser. Cornwall: Is he hurt? Milner: He was concussed, but he's come round. Cornwall: Good. Put him in the car. Milner: Sir, I'm not sure you understand. Cornwall: Excuse me! I'm not sure you understand. Milner: Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle. He nods towards Foyle behind Cornwall. Cornwall: Detective? Foyle arrives with another uniform. Foyle: Afternoon. Cornwall: I thought you said you were a farmer. Foyle: Did I? I don't remember that. Er, no, I'm not a farmer, I'm a policeman. Perfectly understandable error. It's possible, I'm afraid, there's been a mrder here, and this man might be able to help. Cornwall: I don't give a damn. This chap's coming with us now. Foyle: Well, if you could give us twenty minutes- Cornwall: We have all the authority we need. Two of his men help Weiser up. Cornwall: Take care of him. He has concussion. Weiser takes a brief glance back at Foyle before getting into the car. Jackson's bedroom. Foyle enters the room and looks around. He spots a bra that's been left on Jackson's bed. Sam leans in through the doorway. Sam: Just to let you know I'm back, sir. Foyle: Thank you. She spots the bra. Sam: Ooh! Silk. Foyle: Mr Jackson's? Sam snorts. Foyle: Or was he surprisingly popular with the land girls? Sam: Well, Rose or Barbara's, I'd say. Too large for Joan. Foyle: Think so? Sam: Nice, though. D'you want me to find out about it, sir? He nods and she tucks it in her pocket. Sam: Have you had enough for today? Foyle: Haven't you? Sam: Certainly. Hostel. Sam parks the car in front of the building and she, Foyle and Milner get out. Foyle: What is this? Sam: The hotels and pubs are full, sir, billeting troops. Milner: But what is this? Sam leads the way into the building. Sam: It's basic, but clean, and there's hot water. And the food's tip-top. Foyle: But what is it? Sam: It's the Women's Land Army hostel. She leads the way into a room where a large group of women are eating at a long table. They're approached by an older woman, Ellen McGee. McGee: Mr Foyle. You're very welcome. Ellen McGee. They shake hands. Foyle: How do you do? McGee: There's a separate little bit for you boys to sleep in. Foyle: Well, very kind of you. Thank you. McGee: Needs must. There's a wr on. And it's perfect timing for dinner. Please. Woman: Can I take your coats? Foyle: Thank you. Sam sits down at the table. Sam: Roast beef! Roast potatoes! Yorkshire. You'll never guess what's for pudding. The others sit down beside her. Milner: What? Sam: Apple crumble. Milner: With custard? Sam: Mm-hmm. And there's bacon for breakfast. POW camp. Schimmel watches from the yard as Cornwall's car arrives. Cornwall opens the door for Weiser. Cornwall: Es tut mir leid wegen die Polizei. Take him to the sanatorium. Make sure he's comfortable. Alles gut. Sabartovski is also watching through the wire as the men help Weiser out. Weiser: Ah! Ah. He spots Schimmel watching him. Weiser: Heil htler. Schimmel salutes. Schimmel: Heil htler. Weiser spots Sabartovski, and smirks. Woods. Joan, Rose and Tom are carrying forks and shovels. Joan points to a spot on the ground. Joan: There. Rose: Joan, don't you just think we should speak to that Mr Foyle-? Joan: God, don't make me laugh! Rose: But, Joan- Joan: Just dig. Tom? She beckons him over to join them, then looks over at Rose again. Joan: Dig, or I'll put you in there an' all. Hostel. Foyle comes out of his room and crosses the hall to the bathroom, just as Barbara Hicks is coming out. She gasps in shock. Barbara: What are you doing? Foyle: I'm sorry. Er, just trying to use the bathroom. Barbara: No, what are you doing here? Men aren't allowed in the hostel. Foyle: No, you're absolutely right. They, er, just decided to make an exception last night. But you stay at the farm, don't you? What are you doing here? Barbara: You expect me to be staying at a place where someone was mrder? I didn't feel safe. Foyle: Right. He was mrder, was he? Barbara: Well, if it were simple su1c1de, why would some as lofty as yourself be spending so much time on it? He raises his eyebrows and blinks, and turns to watch her as she walks away. Post office. Sam pulls up outside with Foyle and Milner in the car. Inside. The postmistress is on a phone plugged in to the local telephone exchange. Postmistress: And he may be in the Holy Land, but managing to get his wife pregnant from 1,000 miles away is a miracle that even our Lord is... She sees that Foyle and Milner have come in and waves a hand at them. Postmistress: Just one moment. Hello? Katherine, I'd better dash. She hands up and stands up. Postmistress: Good morning, gentlemen. Sorry to keep you. Foyle: No, good morning, sorry to trouble you. I wonder if you can help us? We're police, looking into the incident at the Jackson- Postmistress: Jackson's farm. Oh, terrible thing, that. Foyle: Yes. Wasn't it? Yeah. I understand, erm, you took a call from there, er, the morning he died? Postmistress: Yes. Tom rang in, reporting that he'd found his father. Foyle: Right. And that was what time? Postmistress: At six. Foyle: Six. And that was it? Just the one call? Postmistress: Oh, no, there was another one, about 30 minutes earlier. Foyle: From the farm? Postmistress: Well, I can't be sure it was from the farm, because rang off before I got there. Foyle: Perfectly understandable. Well, that's all we need to know. Thank you for your help. We appreciate it. Postmistress: No, thank you. Curling enters the post office with his rabbits. Postmistress: Oh, Mr Curling! They are beautiful! Foyle: Mr Curling, er, do forgive me. Forgot to ask you, er, the other day. Would you have heard any, er, shts from the Jackson farm the morning he died at all? Curling: Yes. One at, er, five o'clock, then two more maybe half an hour later. Foyle: Right. Thank you. Curling: Anything else you forgot to ask? Foyle: Er, well, as, er, soon as I remember I'll let you know. He and Milner leave. As they get into the car a bus pulls up opposite. A raggedly dressed man, Andrew Neame, gets out. Jackson farm. Tom and the land girls are out in the field with the tractor. They hear the sound of the car approaching the ford. Rose: Here they come again. Joan: You keep your nerve. You hear me? The pair of you. Bridge over the river. Foyle and Milner look down over the water. Foyle: We should get this dragged. Milner: Right, sir. Foyle: And see if, erm, any of the three girls has got a record, and get a lead on the missing wife and the chap she ran off with of you can. Milner: Yes, sir. Is that all? Foyle: No, not quite. Get over to the camp. Find out what the Major's got to say about Tom Jackson, and what the chances are of getting to speak to the chap that we pulled out of the tree. You might also see if he's got any idea that one of the other two we picked up, the young lad, is not an airman at all. They arrive at the car where Sam is waiting. Foyle: Did you speak to the girls? Sam: Not yet, sir. Foyle: Do. Let me know how you get on. Farmyard. Sam approaches Rose as she parks the tractor. Sam: Rose, can I have a word? Rose: Yeah. Sam: Erm, is this yours? She shows her the silk bra. Rose: No. No, it isn't. It's not. Anyway, who are you to be asking? Sam: True. Right. Thank you. She walks away. A large shed at the farm, with hanging meat hooks. Foyle walks around, taking a look. He crouches down and sticks his finger in a crack in the concrete floor. There's blood left in the crack. Sam (offscreen): No joy, I'm afraid, sir. She enters, still holding the bra. Sam: She said it wasn't hers. But I suspect she wasn't telling the truth, although it is quite an expensive item for Rose. Barbara Hicks arrives in the building. Barbara: Mr Foyle, I've remembered something. I'm sorry I didn't say before, but I've only just remembered. When I left the farm at around four on the morning Jackson died, I nearly bumped into a man on a bicycle just at the end of the lane. I couldn't describe him. Foyle: Well, never mind. Barbara: Anyway, he had a rucksack on his back. Foyle: Well, thank you. Barbara notices the bra that Sam is holding. Barbara: Where did you get that? Sam: This? I, um, it's... Barbara: It's mine. What are you doing with it? Foyle: Oh, well, we, erm, we were just trying to decide, erm, what it was doing in Hugh Jackson's bedroom. Barbara: Well, when you've decided would you let me know? May I take it? Or is it Exhibit A? Foyle: Well, yes, it is, er, but do feel free to take it. We'll let you know when we need it. Sam hands it back and Barbara leaves. POW camp. Milner is in Cornwall's office. Cornwall: I'm sorry, no. Leutnant Weiser is a prisoner of wr and has his rights. He's also in no fit state. Milner: Well, perhaps we could speak to him when he's feeling better. Cornwall: Perhaps. Milner: You have a Private Tom Jackson here. It was his father who was sht. Cornwall: I know, that's why he's on compassionate leave. If you want to talk to him, surely he's at home? Milner: No, I wondered if you could tell us anything about him. Cornwall: Funnily enough, I can. Within hours of his father's death he has submitted that he now has responsibility for his father's farm, and has asked for Reserved Occupation status. When he was first called up, he also tried to dodge the column by claiming Reserved Occupation. He said he was vital to his father's farm. His father told us otherwise. Cornwall hands Milner a note signed by Hugh Jackson. Milner: His father reported him! Cornwall: Mm-hmm. Shed. Foyle stands where he found the blood, talking to the two land girls. Foyle: How often is this place cleaned? Joan: Well, the parlour and the shed are cleaned thoroughly morning and night after milking. Foyle: You kll animals here? Joan: Well, not since we've been here. Foyle: Well, this blood on the floor here. Would you know anything about that? Joan: No, I don't. Rose: No, I don't. Foyle: No? Hugh Jackson a violent man? Rose: No, he wasn't a violent man. Foyle: Hmm? Evidently, um, Curling heard shts coming from this farm the night Jackson died, about five, five thirty. Would you have heard them? Rose: From five I was out on the tractor. Foyle: Oh. Doing what? Rose: Harrowing. Foyle: Oh. What, in the dark? Rose: Yeah. It's not that hard. You put lamps at either end of the field and you steer by them, like a ship. There aren't enough hours of daylight to do everything here. Joan: Yeah, and I was with her. I was moving the lamps. Foyle: Right. So you wouldn't have heard, er, the shts, then? No? Joan: No. Foyle: Right. Well, thank you. The girls turn to leave. Foyle: Listen, did you ever spot, erm, anything going on between, er, Hugh Jackson and Barbara Hicks? Joan laughs. Joan: The dirty old bugger! Foyle: No, no, no, I didn't say, er, there was, I was just asking. Joan: Well, why was you asking if there wasn't something? The two girls leave. Foyle: Right. Farmyard. The girls emerge from the milking parlour and spot Sam waiting by the car. Joan: Lady Muck keeping her eye on the sodbusters, is she? Sam: Listen, I don't know what I've done- Joan: Why don't the old man drive hisself? Sam: He's not an old man. Joan: Don't you know there's a wr on? Us breaking our backs, and here's you, all spick-and-span, with your barnet done up like a Cornish pasty, hanging around- Sam: Look, I was drafted in from the MTC to drive Mr Foyle. Joan: Is he giving you one? Rose: Joanie. Joan: Is that it? What, are you his fancy woman? Is that how it works? Rose: Joanie, just leave it. Come on. She ushers Joan away. Woods. Neame makes his way through the trees. Policeman (offscreen): Sir. At the nearby river, two uniformed officers have found a bicycle. They wheel it up the bank as Foyle and Milner come over to look. Behind them, Joan comes over the bridge, followed by Sam. Milner: Well, there's no rust. He touches the chain. Milner: And the oil is fresh. Can't have been in there more than two days at most. Joan comes over to look. Milner: D'you know whose bicycle this is? Joan: Well, we've all got bikes, but that ain't one of ours. Foyle: Right. Thank you. Thanks. Milner: So, who would need a bicycle, and then need to throw it away? They back over the bridge. Sam: Can I do anything to help, sir? Foyle: Not for the moment. Thank you. Sam stands with her arms folded as they and the uniformed officers walk away. In the woods, Neame is watching all of this from between the trees. Farmhouse. Foyle climbs the stairs and enters one of the bedrooms. He looks at a picture of young Tom and his mother on the nightstand, and then some old wooden toy figures still set up on a table. Milner (voiceover): There was a lot of noise with the air battle and Curling shting. Outside. Milner is speaking to Tom as he shifts crates around. Milner: Did Curling stop shting before the air battle had ended, or did he go on a little while after the planes had left? Tom: After. The air battle stopped about four. Then he stopped. Milner: That's right, at five o'clock. An hour before you say you got back to the farm. You left the barracks at midnight. You can't have taken six hours, it's a four-hour ride tops. Tom: Well, it was dark. And roadblocks. And I got lost. Milner: Why are you lying? Joan watches the two of them from a distance. Tom: I didn't kll him. Milner: I didn't say you did. Can't have been easy for him, raising you alone after your mother had left. Tom: Well, maybe if he'd have behaved better she'd have stayed. Upstairs. Foyle is still looking at the wooden toys. Milner arrives to join him. Milner: Been busy? Foyle: Yep. All work, no play. Milner: Tom Jackson's story doesn't add up, so there's no explanation for where he was. The two of them leave the farmhouse and head back to the car, joined by Sam. Tom watches them as they get in the car and drive away. Foyle: What do you think? Tom Jackson hated his father and by klling him stood to inherit a valuable farm. Milner: So improving his chances of getting Joan to marry him. Foyle: And Reserved Occupation status to get out of the Army. Joan stood to inherit the farm by getting Hugh Jackson out of the way by marrying Tom. Rose seems to have been afraid of Jackson for some reason, and is certainly hiding something. Milner: And the German? Foyle: Yep. How did the gn get to the farm? And who's the man with the rucksack seen by Barbara Hicks? Ahead of them, Barbara is kneeling by the side of the road, trying to fix her bike. Milner: Speak of the devil. They pull up beside her. Sam: Got a puncture? Foyle: Would you like a lift? Barbara: Oh, thank you. Milner gets out to help. Milner: I can put your bicycle in the back. Barbara: That's very kind of you. Milner: Not at all. It's all part of the service. Barbara gets into the car as Milner puts her bike in the boot. Sam: How was your day, Miss Hicks? Barbara: Oh, pretty good, thank you. I found my quota of long, straight suitable softwoods. "Poles manufactured for the purpose of." Walking through the woods, Neame spots their car and stops. Barbara: But I also found wood anemones, and celandines, and bluebells. I just love the woods this time of year. Sam: So do I. Milner gets in and they drive away. Neame watches them go, then turns to look at the farm building through the trees. POW camp. Schimmel is walking around in the yard, and spots Major Cornwall. Schimmel: Oh, excuse me, Herr Major. Cornwall: Ah. Oberleutnant Schimmel. Wie geht es Ihnen? Schimmel: I'm doing well. Thank you. Cornwall: Good. Schimmel: Um, there was a man yesterday came into the camp. Um, tall- Cornwall: Leutnant Weiser. Schimmel: Jawohl, Herr Major. Cornwall: What about him? Schimmel: Er, he's an old comrade. Cornwall: Ah. Schimmel: Um, I wondered where he was. Cornwall: In the sanatorium. Er, bit of concussion, I'm afraid. But he'll be fine. Getting the best of care. Schimmel: Oh, good. And he will be coming in here with us? Cornwall: Day after tomorrow. Er, yes, that's what the quack says. Schimmel: Thank you. Cornwall: You're very welcome. Outside the hostel. Sam paces around, waiting by the car. Foyle comes out of the building to join her. Foyle: Morning. Sam: Morning, sir. Foyle: You all right? She nods and they both get in the car. They drive along. Sam: Sir. Foyle: Sam. Sam: Do you think I do enough for the wr effort, sir? I mean, shouldn't I be doing more than just driving you around? Foyle: Is that all you do? Sam: No, I- I... also spend a lot of time hanging around while you're working. Foyle: What's brought this on? Sam: Well, I was thinking about the girls on the farm, sir, how hard they work. And right at the minute with the potatoes, I think they could do with an extra pair of hands. Foyle: Well, go ahead. Sam: Really? Foyle: You want to help them out today? Sam: What will you do, sir? Foyle: Well, we're at the farm all day. If I'm really in trouble I'll let you know. Sam: Thank you, sir. Foyle: It's a pleasure. They arrive at the farm and get out of the car. Rose and Joan are watching from in front of the milking parlour. Milner (offscreen): Check the barn. Policeman (offscreen): Yes, sir. Sam goes round to the back of the car and takes a bag and a bundle of clothes out of the boot. Sam: Just some rough clothes, sir. I borrowed them from the girls at the hostel. Just in case you... Foyle: I see. Rose: What's she doing? Sam heads towards the land girls with the clothes. Woods. Barbara paces away from a tree to gauge the height. She hears a twig in the woods and turns to look. In the distance, Neame is still lurking near the farm buildings. Barbara watches as he runs away. Farmhouse sitting room. Foyle is going through drawers, and finds one with a compartment at the back. There's a revolver wrapped in cloth inside. Milner enters the room behind him, holding a pstol. Milner: Sir. A Luger. Hidden in some logs at the front of the house. Foyle shows him the other gn. Milner: Oh, I see. Jackson's? Foyle: Mm-hmm. Three shts. Three gn. He sniffs the revolver. Milner: Recently fired? Foyle: Recently fired. He nods at the Luger. Foyle: Well, we know who that belongs to. I think I should return it, don't you? The two of them leave the farmhouse together. Sam is out working in the field with Rose and Joan. Foyle: Listen, Sam wants to do her bit for the wr effort. Get one of the chaps to drive me to the camp, will you? Milner: Yes, sir. In the field, Sam and Rose are both planting potatoes. Rose suddenly turns away and vomits. Sam: You all right, Rose? Rose: Mmm. Sam straightens up with a groan. She notices the car driving away through the ford. Sam: Hey. Hey! Blast it. Joan: Ah. Lover boy run off without you? Sam: Shut up, will you? Joan: You wanna make me? Rose: Put a sock in it, Joan! She tries and fails to start the tractor. Rose: Bleeding Yank rubbish! Sam: Here. You're flooding it. She comes over and gets it started. Joan: I suppose Daddy has a fleet of these on his estate. Sam: No. My cousin does. POW camp. Sabartovski is talking with Tom in the yard. Foyle watches them through the blinds of Cornwall's office. Pacing around, he spots a decorated box in a half-open drawer. That prompts him to open the cigar case on the desk and take a look at the cigars inside. Cornwall arrives a few moments later. Cornwall: Sorry to keep you waiting. Foyle: Not at all. Cornwall: Erm, please. He offers Foyle a seat. Foyle: Er, no, I won't, thank you. I'm simply here to speak to Raimund Weiser. Cornwall: I'm afraid that won't be possible. Foyle: Ah. Well, two or three attempts have been made to speak to a man, er, likely to be able to help in a mrder enquiry, all of which have been rejected- Cornwall: Look, it's a general rule at the Prisoner of wr Interrogation Service- Foyle: So I may find myself having to look into the extent to which you're involved with, er, black market cigars. Cornwall: Right. I see. He closes the desk drawer. Cornwall: Very well. But I shall be present. I'm not having you ruin all the hard work we've been putting in. The debriefing of enemy flyers is a delicate science. Foyle: You, er, get anything useful from the first two airmen? Cornwall: I'm sure very few of our boys sht down over there blab their mouths out the moment they're caught, so I'm not surprised to find the Germans don't blab to use. It's a slow process. If one tries to intimidate them they clam up. We, however, try to baffle them with kindness. To very good effect I might add. You wouldn't believe the results we get. Foyle: Er, Sabartovski, the unarmed one not in uniform- Cornwall: He had a flying suit, and many of them aren't armed. If you want to speak to Herr Weiser, I'll arrange it. But don't try to take over my job, Detective Chief Superintendent. This way. He leads the way out of the office. Camp sanatorium. Weise is lying in one of the beds. He turns to look as Cornwall and Foyle enter. Cornwall: Guten Morgen. Wie geht es Ihnen? Weiser: Besser, danke. Cornwall: Hier ist Hauptkommissar Foyle von der Polizei. Foyle: Morning. Weiser: Guten Morgen. Ich kenne ihn. Wir kennen uns. Cornwall: I'll translate for you. His English is non-existent. Foyle: Right. Erm, I'm, well, I'm wondering if he remembers the night he was sht down. Cornwall: Die Nacht, als Sie niedergeschossen wurden? Foyle: Erm, he came down into the trees? Cornwall: Sie landenten im Wald? Weiser: Ich, ich, ich, ich wr bewusstlos. Ich hab ein Schlag auf den Kopf gegangt. Cornwall: He was, er, unconscious. He banged his head. Foyle: Right. Um, this, erm, pstol... He unwraps the Luger, and Foyle sits up at the sight of it. Weiser: Wo hat er denn meine pstol her? Foyle: D'you know how you lost it? Weiser: Als ich im Baum steckte. Ich wr- ich wr kaum bei Sinnen, dann kam diese Frau und hat sie genommen. Foyle: He says a woman came and took it when he was hanging from the tree, erm, but he was barely conscious. Weiser: Und ich kann mich daran erinnern, sie, sie trug eine rote Jacke. Cornwall: She had a, a, a red jacket on. Weiser: Blondes Haar. Und, ja, sie wr attraktiv. Cornwall: Blonde hair, was, was very attractive. Jackson farm. Sam is sitting on the bank where Jackson went to drink. Joan arrives with her lunch and sees her there. Joan: Oh. Sam: It's all right. I think there's room for two. She picks up her bag to start eating her own lunch. Joan: Why are you always so nice? Just given you a right slagging back there. Is that what they teach you in posh school, how to not show how you feel? Sam: Yes, I suppose it is. Joan: Yeah, well, I will sit down as it happens. She sits. Joan: This here's my spot, see. It's called Poppy Bank. Though I ain't never seen no poppies. D'you grow up in the country? Sam: Yes, I did. Joan: I could tell. The way you cracked on up there. I never. Sam: You never what? Joan: Never grew up in the country. Poplar, East London. Don't think I'd never seen the country till I come here. I hated it at first. Be sad to leave it now. Sam: D'you think you will leave? Joan spots something on the ground. Joan: Hugh. Messy bugger! She picks up an empty whiskey bottle. Joan: D'you know, he loved this spot. Loved a spot of that an' all. D'you know, he loved this meadow so that much when we got our quota we had to turn all of that over. Pull it all back from undergrowth and brambles. Anything so we didn't have to plough up his precious field. Rose walks over to join them. Joan: Generous he was... with our sweat. Rose: Well, if you two get off your arses, we'll have it done by dark. Thanks to you. She nods at Sam. Joan: Yeah. Thanks to you. Sam lies back on the grass. Post office. Foyle's car is parked outside, and his driver paces. Postmistress: Hugh Jackson's wife ran off with the farmhand eleven years ago. Inside. Foyle is there to question the postmistress again. Postmistress: His name was Andrew Neame. Foyle: Any idea where they went? Postmistress: Hmm. Oh, King's North Farm, Faversham in Kent. Nothing ever came for them, mind. Nothing came in the other direction either. Not a birthday card for the little lad. Not a dickie bird. Foyle: Well, that's a shame. Postmistress: But then she was French. Foyle: Right. D'you mind if I, er, made a call? Postmistress: No. Woods. Barbara leads Foyle and Milner through the trees. Barbara: I don't know who he was, but he was watching the farm, and he seems to be living in the woods. I saw him yesterday while I was working. Foyle: And how would a pstol help you in your work? The German parachutist has described you as the woman that took the pstol from his holster while he was hanging from the tree. Milner heads off into the trees as Foyle and Barbara stop. Barbara: Are you suggesting I took this German's gn and sht Hugh Jackson, a man I barely knew anyway? Foyle: No, not at all. It was suggested to me that you, erm, simply took the gn. She starts walking again and he follows her. Barbara: Even if I did take it I couldn't have sht Jackson with it, because I didn't come across the German until after he was dad. Foyle: So you said. Barbara: There you go again. You don't believe me, you'd rather believe him. Foyle: No, not at all. I was simply doing my job. Barbara: Why are you so sure it was me he described? She comes to a halt again. Foyle: Well, red jacket. Blonde hair. Very attractive. She looks taken aback. Foyle: Sad eyes. Milner (offscreen): Sir! He's found a patch of disturbed earth. Milner: Over here. The other two join him. Barbara: What is it? Milner: Looks like a grave. Freshly dug. There's the sound of a twig snapping somewhere off in the woods. They head in that direction, and find a campsite. Foyle nods at Milner, who goes around to approach it from the opposite side. Neame, coming back to his campsite, spots Foyle and Barbara. Foyle: Sir? Neame drops the branch he's using as a walking stick and turns to run, but meets Milner. As he goes to run again, Milner tackles him to the ground. Neame: Ah! Ah! Barbara picks up the branch and brandishes it at Neame. Neame: Ah! He stops struggling. Milner: Thank you, Miss Hicks. He gets up. Foyle looks down at Neame. Foyle: Mr Neame? Farmyard. They've brought Neame back with them to question him. Milner: So what are you doing living in the woods, Mr Neame? Neame: Heard Hugh Jackson topped hisself. Is that right, boy? Foyle: No, it's not. He was mrder. Neame: Was he? What about Genevieve? Where's she? Mrs Jackson. Foyle: Mrs Jackson not with you? Neame: Only in my dreams, boy. Foyle: When did you last see her? Neame: Eleven year ago. May 2nd, 1930. Milner exchanges a look with Foyle. Woods. Foyle and Milner return to the gravesite where two uniformed officers are digging. Milner: If Mrs Jackson didn't run off with Neame and she hasn't been seen at the farm for eleven years, you have to wonder. Foyle: You do. Milner: What did the people at the farm in Faversham have to say about him? Foyle: Well, they confirmed, er, he moved there eleven years ago, and had lived alone. Evidently he went off the rails a bit and hasn't been seen for a couple of years. The policemen digging uncover something. Policeman: Sir. They pull out a pig carcass. POW Camp. A lorry backs towards a group of POWs who are standing in front of some dustbins. Man (offscreen): Halt! Load it up. In the sanatorium, Weiser hears the noise and gets out of bed to watch. As POWs load dustbins into the back of the lorry, Schimmel and Sabartovski crawl towards it. Schimmel: (Kommen Sie schon.) Sabartovski: (Warum denn?) Schimmel: (Sie sind in Gefahr. Wir mussen hier raus.) Sabartovski: (Sie werden uns erschiessen.) Scimmel: (Komm!) They crawl under the lorry and cling on to the bottom. The back of the lorry goes up and it begins to drive away, passing through a group of POWs playing football. Tom Jackson is on duty at the gate. The lorry stops beside him and he leans in to talk to the driver. From the sanatorium window, Weiser watches. The guards move to open the gate. Beneath the lorry, Sabartovski loses his grip and drops to the ground. Spotting him, Tom bangs on the side of the lorry. Tom: Hey, stop the wagon! He points his rfle at Sabartovski. Sabartovski: Please! Don't sh*t me, please! Tom laughs. Tom: You're all right, mate. Bernard, check under there. Schimmel lets go of the lorry and drops to the ground. Bernard: Come on out, you. The two POWs stand up. Schimmel shrugs at Tom, then spots Weiser in the window. Weiser smiles and wags a finger at him. Jackson farm. Sam and the land girls are planting potatoes at the very edge of the ploughed area. Sam reaches the end of her row and turns to look back over the field. Joan: That's it. That's the field done. Sam raises her trowel into the air. Sam: Dig for victory! Rose laughs. She sits down on the ground. Rose: This was all brambles. Hawthorns, sycamore. We cleared it by hand, Joan and me. Through the winter of '39. Coldest in living memory. Birds froze to death as they flew through the air. And we was out here in our gumboots. They asked us for fifteen new acres under cultivation. We gave 'em twenty. We had to break the ground with a pick. This year we'll get 30 tons of spuds out of it. Sam: Why did you join the Women's Land Army? Rose: I wanted to do my bit. My two brothers are away in the Army. I wanted to... to help 'em. To help bring 'em back alive. She spots something behind Sam, and the other girls turn to look. Two uniformed police officers are making their way towards the three of them. Police interview room. Foyle is questioning Joan. Foyle: The sht at 5am that Curling heard, was that the pig being klled? Half taken away to be sold, the rest hung at the back of the milking parlour to be dealt with later, but, er, we all turned up that day, so you decided maybe you should bury it in the woods? Joan: Says you. Foyle: Well, you see, everywhere people are tightening their belts. They're making sacrifices for their country, and the law is taking a very dim view of the black market. Joan: Don't give me "tightening the belt"! We ain't even been paid for two months. Every penny has gone towards that tractor. Hugh came up with the pig as a way to make the last payment. It was nothing to do with me. I warned him against it. Foyle: Very easy to blame a man who can't defend himself. Joan: I can't help that! Look, all I know is I didn't want nothing to do with the whole pig thing. Even Tom didn't. But Hugh said that we had to. What with that Barbara hanging around, he needed help to get it out of the way as quick as possible. And Rose, you know, she just saw him sht the pig, was sick, and then went out and ploughed. What crime that is is beyond me. Foyle: Well, whether we like it or not, profiteering is against the law, and even though you may not have taken part in it you knew all about it, and it ought to have been reported. Joan: You're only picking on me 'cause I've got a record. You know, that's why I run away from London, to start again, but you won't let me. I didn't want a life of crime. I wanted something different. And I found that here. My family don't know where I am. Even my mum don't. You know, for two years I've been my own person. Later. Foyle is questioning Rose. Rose: They done a big list of all the farms. How many workers, buildings, how many livestock. The government. They called it the Second Domesday Book. Hugh never told 'em all his pigs. Or his sheep. And there was more sheep, because they evacuated over 100,000 off of Romney Marsh, and... he copped some of them as they went by. All the farmers around here did. Foyle: Joan organise that? Rose: No. She was against it. Said you always get caught, and she was right. It was Hugh. He said all the farmers around here do it. And he was right. You enjoyed your food at the hostel. Foyle nods. Rose: Oh, yeah! All our beef. And the pork, and the eggs, and the lamb. Suppose you'll have to arrest yourself for receiving stolen goods. Foyle sits down opposite her. Foyle: Are you feeling any better? Rose: What? Foyle: Sam and Joan told me you've, er, not been very well a couple of times just recently. Rose: I'm fine. Thank you. Foyle: Good. Would that have, erm, had anything to do with Hugh? Would, erm... stealing other people's underwear to wear for him mean that you were very much in love with him, or that you were afraid he wasn't with you? Rose: I thought it'd make him love me more. He wasn't an easy man to love. His heart was... What with his wife pushing off he... But there was a good man underneath. A man who could feel love. I think. Foyle: But not enough to want you to keep the child you're carrying. Rose: No. No! She starts to cry. Later. Now Neame is in the interview room. Neame: We was in love, see? She wanted to get away. We'd arranged it. Ten past twelve to London. I waited for her. At the station. She never come. I waited till the next one. One after that. She wanted to come, boy. I knew that. But the boy. I feared it'd break her heart to leave him. Even though she said she could bear it. She couldn't bring him with her, see? We'd always know that one day Jackson would find us. I understood in the end why she didn't come. Thought better of her for it. If you understand what I mean. Foyle: I do. What are you doing back here, then? Neame: Heard Jackson had done himself in. Saw it in the paper. Was over Tenterden way on piecework. I saw this. He gets out a folded newspaper article and gives it Foyle. Foyle unfolds it to see it's the Tenterden Times and has a small paragraph about Jackson's death. Foyle's office. Foyle is there with Milner and Sam. Foyle: He's not going to have nipped over to Tenterden to pick up a paper then back to the farm to wait to get caught. Milner: Yes, sir, but he's not the full shilling. Foyle: Well, I think that's more to do with a broken heart. No, he's telling the truth. I don't think Mrs Jackson ever left the farm. Sam: Sir. Foyle: Yeah? Sam: I think I know where she might be. Poppy bank. Uniformed officers are digging while Sam, Milner and Foyle watch. Sam: They call it Poppy Bank. Poppies grow where untouched ground has been disturbed after many years. Evidently they grew where the land had been shelled during the last wr. Isn't that right, sir? Foyle: Mmm. Sam: Anyway, Jackson wouldn't hear of the meadow being ploughed up. This is where he used to sit. This is where he sat and drank whiskey the night he died. Off in the woods, a flock of birds take off from the trees, disturbed by something. Barbara (indistinct shout in the distance): Why? Foyle turns to look in that direction. Further off in the woods, Barbara is standing at the base of a tree, sobbing. Foyle approaches her and stands silently by. She collects herself, sniffing. Barbara: The dog, the woman, and the walnut tree, the more you bat them the better they be, isn't that what they say? Foyle: What is it? Barbara: It's so wonderful working here in these woods. You're so busy, there's so much to do, there's so much going on that you can't think. That's what's so lovely about it. But then sometimes it just sneaks up on you. Foyle: What happened to you? Barbara: There was a man. There was a marriage. Not a nice one. But there was a son. A beautiful son. And my son... my beautiful son... I lost at Dunkirk. She starts to sob. After a few moments, Foyle steps up and puts his arms around her. She cries against his shoulder. Barbara: Men! wr! This filthy, blasted, bloody wr! Sam (offscreen): Sir! They step apart as she comes through the trees. Sam: Sir! Foyle looks at Barbara, who gives him a slight nod. He goes off after Sam. Poppy Bank. Foyle, Sam and Milner watch as one of the policemen brushes mud away from a human skull. POW camp. Sabartovski attaches a wire to the fence metal fence. Weiser watches him from the sanatorium window. Guard hut. Tom and another guard sit by the wireless as Sabartovski comes in. Tom: That's better. Getting something now. Sabartovski: Try this. He fiddles with one of the knobs on the wireless. A man's voice speaking in a West Indian accent is heard. Radio: Well- Tom: Wait. Stop! Did you hear? Radio: The only way to get him out is to continue with this tactic of probing at the leg stump. Tom: Did you hear? Radio: I think that's where his weakness lies. And now we have him coming up to bowl again. Sabartovski: What is it? Tom: Shh. Radio: There we go. Fooled there by the variable bounce. And they're appealing. The umpires are conferring. Sabartovski: Is it some sort of- Tom: Shh! Radio: And he's given him! Leg before! Tom: He's given him! Bowled him leg stump there. Must be the one that kept straight. This is- this is just mad! We've had no cricket for two years. Where's it coming from? Sabartovski: Also, I don't know exactly. It might- He looks up at the sound of the door as Milner enters. Milner and Tom leave the camp and get into a car. Foyle (voiceover): Cricket? Tom (voiceover): Yeah. Mad, innit? He's sitting in Foyle's office. Tom: From the West Indies or something, it must be. See, with them Jerries we've got radio operators and all that. They are clever blokes all right! I hope our chaps are as clever. Foyle: We found the pig. Where was your father when you left? Tom: He was off drinking. I didn't sht him. Why would I? Foyle: Well, he... reported you to the army authorities. He didn't like your girlfriend much. And, erm... Tell me about what happened to your mother. Tom: She left when I was young with a bloke who worked on the farm. Foyle: You ever hear from her after she left? Tom: No. Foyle: You ever try to get in touch with them? Tom: No. Foyle: Why would that be? Tom: I suppose... she wouldn't want me. She wouldn't want me to, would she? Foyle: Wouldn't she? They're both silent for a moment. Foyle: Tom, I'm afraid she's dad. She didn't run off with anybody. In fact, she never left the farm. Tom: She did! She did, I remember her saying goodbye. I was there playing with my farm animals and she came in. She said she was going away for a while. And I wanted her to get on with it 'cause I wanted to get on playing with my farm. I just thought she was going shopping or something. And then she never came back. Foyle: I think maybe she... intended to leave. But your father didn't want her to go. And I'm afraid it was him who klled her. Tom: Must have really loved her, mustn't he? Joanie always said I should forgive him 'cause he had a broken heart. When you think about it she must be right. Interview room. Rose and Joan are both sitting at the table as Foyle and Sam enter. Joan: Oh, big man, you gonna charge us now? Foyle: No. Free to go. Joan: You're having me on. Foyle: No. Rose: Joanie, just shut up and say thank you. Joan: Thank you. Foyle: Pleasure. Joan: So how we gonna get back? Foyle: A police escort. Come on. He gestures for them to follow him and Sam. The car pulls up outside the hostel. Sam: Coming in, sir? Foyle: You go ahead. I'll be there in a minute. Inside the tables are laid out for a party. Woman: Here she comes! Here she comes! Rose steers Joan into the room. There's a banner on the wall that says "Happy 21st Birthday". Crowd: Surprise! Rose: And many happy returns! Tom and Sam follow them in. One of the women starts playing the piano. The group all start to clap along and sing: ♪ For she's a jolly good fellow ♪ ♪ For she's a jolly good fellow ♪ ♪ For she's a jolly good fellow ♪ ♪ And so say all of us ♪ ♪ And so say all of us ♪ ♪ And so say all of us... ♪ Outside. Foyle sits on a bench in front of the church opposite. The group's singing can be heard in the distance. ♪ For she's a jolly good fellow ♪ ♪ And so say all of us ♪ Barbara approaches Foyle, holding two glasses. Foyle: Hello. Barbara: Brought you this. Foyle: Well, that's kind of you. Barbara: Ginger beer. Foyle: Well, thank you. Barbara: Best they can do. Foyle: That's a nice dress. Barbara: D'you think so? Foyle: Mmm. Barbara: It's silk. From the parachute. Foyle: The German's parachute? Barbara: I dyed it. I got this one, one for Joan, and six others out of it. Foyle: Right. Erm, not badly damaged, then? Barbara: Mmm. Barely at all. Looked like a new one. Foyle: Right. Barbara: Are you going in? Foyle: In a moment, yeah. She sits down beside him on the bench. Barbara: Tom proposed, and Joan accepted. Foyle: Oh. That's good. Barbara: Is it? Foyle: Yes. Barbara: But for how long? Foyle: Well. Things the way they are, good for the time being is perhaps enough. They exchange a look. Both are silent for a moment. Barbara: What happened to you, then? Foyle: What happened to me? There was a woman. A marriage. A good marriage. And a beautiful son. My beautiful son is alive, thank God. But, er, I lost my wife. So I have a vastly higher opinion of women than, er, you do of men. Barbara: Everything's so very difficult, isn't it? Foyle: Yeah. Barbara: To Tom and Joan. He smiles and raises his glass. They both drink. Foyle's office. Milner brings in Weiser's things and drops them on the desk in front of Foyle. Milner: This is all Weiser's kit. They pull things out to examine. Foyle studies some of the straps. Foyle: Flax. Flax stretches under tension. This flax isn't stretched, would you agree? Milner: It's pristine. Foyle rubs at Weiser's flight suit, then licks his finger. Foyle: Salt. They exchange a look. POW camp. Weiser is let out into the yard. Cornwall (offscreen): Leutnant Weiser! Weiser: Herr Cornwall. Cornwall: Wie geht es Ihnen? Weiser: Gut, danke. Cornwall: Well, I trust you'll be comfortable with the other prisoners. Viel Gluck. Foyle, Sam and Milner arrive in the car as Cornwall and Weiser shake hands. Weiser: Danke schon. Foyle gets out of the car. Foyle: Major, don't let him in there. Weiser quickly starts across the yard as Cornwall approaches the fence. Cornwall: Who the hell do you think you are, barging in like this? Foyle: You must not let him in there. He's not who he says he is. He's here to kll Sabartovski. Weiser looks back at them as the guards let him through another gate. He breaks into a run. Cornwall (offscreen): Explain yourself. Intercut between Foyle at the gate and Weiser running through the grounds. Foyle: The sort of plane Sabartovski came in needs a crew of three. There were four on board. He's not an airman. He's a technician. He has information valuable enough that the Germans want him dad before we get it from him. There's already been one attempt on his life. There's about to be another. We lose him, we lose the information. We've already tried to help you with this and you've resisted. You resist again, you've a lot of explaining to do. Cornwall: Open the gate. Weiser dashes along a corridor. Outside. Cornwall, Foyle and Milner stride across the yard. Guard: Right, Corporal, close those gates! Weiser enters the bunk rooms. Outside. Cornwall peaks to a couple of POWs. Cornwall: Wo ist Sabartovski? They shrug. Bunk room. Weiser spots Schimmel sitting on a bunk. Schimmel stands up. Weiser: Wo ist er? Schimmel is silent, but looks off to the left. Weiser heads off in that direction. There are people calling out his name in the distance as he closes the door to the toilet block and puts the chain on behind him. In one of the cubicles, Sabartovski is fixing the flush mechanism. He looks round and backs away into the corner. Cornwall (offscreen): Weiser? Cornwall arrives in the bunk room and spots Schimmel. Cornwall: Schimmel? Schimmel immediately points off after Weiser. Schimmel: Over there. Cornwall heads in that direction as Foyle and Milner arrive after him. Cornwall: Weiser! Toilet block. Weiser is in the process of choking Sabartovski with the toilet chain. Cornwall rounds a corner. Cornwall: Weiser! He tries to open the door to the toilet block and the chain stops it. Weiser looks up at the noise, but continues choking Sabartovski. Cornwall shouts through the door. Cornwall: Aufmachen! Halten Sie! He rams the door with his shoulder. Cornwall: Aufmachen! He breaks through the door and runs in, followed by Milner and Foyle. He and Milner wrestle Weiser away. Foyle punches him in the gut and then bends to pull the toilet chain away from Sabartovski's throat. Cornwall subdues Weiser with another punch and he and Milner look over at Sabartovski. Foyle slaps his cheek, but it fails to roue him. Interrogation room. Weiser sits in a chair with his hands cuffed behind him. Cornwall and Foyle stand waiting opposite. Milner enters the room to join them. Milner: Sabartovski died. A few minutes ago. He never regained consciousness. Cornwall: Why was he klled? Foyle: He was klled because he survived the plane crash. As long as the plane flew he was fine. As soon as it didn't, he had to die because he knew too much about what was on it. One of the airmen, erm, died as a result of using a parachute that had been sabotaged. When I explained this to Sabartovski, he became very distressed when he realised it had been intended for him. Cornwall: Why would he tell you this? Foyle: He didn't. He told Schimmel. Cornwall: In English? Foyle: In German. Flashback to Sabartovski and Schimmel talking. Sabartovski: Der defekte Fallschirm wr fur mich gemeint. Schimmel: Wovon sprechen Sie, denn? Sabartovski: Ich weiss zu viel uber das Funkmessegerat. Schimmel: Seien Sie still! Sabartovski: Sie wollten das ich dass nicht überlebe. Sie haben mir den defekten Fallschirm gegeben, nur hatte Kraus ihn bekomme. Schimmel: Verdammt! Seien Sie still. Interrogation room. Foyle: He said that they hadn't wanted him to survive any crash, so he'd been issued with a defective parachute which Kraus had picked up by mistake. Cornwall: Why didn't you tell me you speak German? Foyle: Well, frankly, major, there became less and less point in telling you anything, and it's only, er, whatever I managed to pick up in Germany during the last wr. It's not that good. Well, it's as good as his English. Cornwall: No, he doesn't speak English at all. Foyle looks at Weiser. Foyle: You're fairly fluent, aren't you? You understood, er, one of my questions without it being translated when I came over here last time. And you understood every word we said, er, when we first picked you up. Flashback to Weiser being lowered down from the tree. Foyle (voiceover): You heard us talking about, er, the woman that was with us that day being a possible mrder suspect, and you described her later as the, er, person you claim took your gn, er, when you were hanging from the tree. Weiser (voiceover): Blondes Haar, und attraktiv. Interrogation room. Cornwall: What information did Sabartovski have that was so important? Foyle: He- He looks over at Weiser. Foyle: D'you want to answer that question? No? It seems from what he said to Schimmel that he was, er, an expert in RDF, what you'd know as Funkmess or radar. Flashback to the crew aboard the plane. Foyle (voiceover): And it looked like there'd been perhaps a new system onboard, er, which is why they tried to get back to it. To make sure it was destroyed, or get rid of it if it wasn't. Interrogation room. Foyle looks at Weiser. Foyle: How am I doing? He was sent for the same reason. To, erm, make sure the equipment was destroyed and Sabartovski as well. And, er, he came prepared to fake a situation in which he'd be caught, and most likely taken to the same holding camp as Sabartovski, and, erm, get rid of him here. Weiser: If I faked the parachute drop, how did I get here? Foyle: Ooh. Perfect English. Weiser snorts in amusement. Foyle: Boat. There were saltwater stains on your trousers. And, er, no marks at all from a parachute and a harness that had never been used before. Weiser: Good. He laughs. Weiser: Beach landing from a U-boat. Foyle: Oh. We know why you klled Sabartovski. What we don't know is why you klled the farmer. Weiser: How do you know I did? Flashback to Weiser riding a bicycle towards the farm. Foyle (voiceover): You were seen arriving at the farm. He bumps into Barbara going the other way. Foyle (voiceover): You came up from the coast by bike to the area where the plane came down. Weiser sees a lorry approaching the ford, and wheels the bike away to duck down out of sight. Foyle (voiceover): But there was so much going on that night you were afraid you were going to be found out. You gave up the idea of tracing the plane. You dumped the bike. Weiser throws the bike into the water. Later. Weiser is now dressed up in his parachute gear. Foyle (voiceover): And found somewhere to deploy the fake parachute drop. Weiser shakes the parachute open. On the bank opposite, Hugh Jackson stands up with his whiskey bottle. Foyle (voiceover): Except Hugh Jackson saw you. Weiser: Hello? Jackson drops the bottle and claps his hands over his mouth. Weiser: Hello? Flashback to Weiser entering the farmhouse sitting room. Foyle (voiceover): You got to the farmhouse as he was putting through a call. Jackson is dialling the phone, but puts it down as Weiser enters. Foyle (voiceover): You sht him. Weiser sh*t Jackson and he falls back into the chair. Foyle (voiceover): And replaced the telephone receiver. Weiser puts the receiver back in the cradle. Foyle (voiceover): A man who'd drunk that much might have been thought to have klled himself, so you used his gn to fake the su1c1de. Weiser sht Jackson in the chest with the gn. Cut to Weiser leaving the farmhouse. Foyle (voiceover): You left the farmhouse, and made your next mistake. You tried to get rid of the gn. Weiser drops the Luger into a woodpile and runs. Interrogation room. Weiser: Yes. That was a mistake. Foyle: So we know you did it. It's just a question of why. Perhaps being spotted faking the parachute drop didn't suit your purposes so you had to destroy the witness. Why else would you do it? Weiser: He was English. Cornwall: You'll hang for this. Outside. Cornwall and Foyle walk through the yard of the POW camp together. Cornwall: I owe you an apology, Detective Chief Superintendent. I feel I've let the side down. Foyle: Well... Cornwall: I've always tried to see the best in people. And we've had good results with the prisoners. Quite a number have, er, already opened up to us. You see, I spent a year at university in Heidelberg before the wr. I always found the Germans to be a civilised and gracious race. Foyle: Ah. You ever play football against them? Cornwall: Football? No. Cricket's my game. There's a disappointing dearth of cricket pitches in Heidelberg. Foyle: I was in a police team that, erm, played in Germany in '36. Er, the German team that met us were very smart, hospitable. Very gracious. Very civilised. Er, wonderful night. They wined and dined us and, er, we all left the bierkeller at dawn, and we staggered onto the pitch later that day, er, badly hungover. Erm, but the German team that ran on to play us were eleven totally different men, who'd, er, been in bed before ten, not touched a drop and we got a complete stuffing. They use different rules. Er, but if we don't want to lose this w*r I think, er, first of all we've even got to be sure about what game they're playing. And you're right. It's not cricket. He walks away. Jackson farm. Sam walks out of the farmhouse, followed by the two land girls. Sam: No "For Sale" signs? Rose: After all the work we put into the place? Foyle and Tom follows them out. Joan: Now when it needs to support our increasing family? She pats Rose's belly. Rose: Come on! Work to do. Joan: See you, Sam. Sam: Joanie. Sam gives her a salute before heading back to the car. Foyle: Excuse me. Any of you seen, erm, Barbara Hicks? She's not been seen at the hostel. Tom: Ah. I totally forgot. Yeah. She passed by yesterday. He pulls an envelope out of his pocket. Tom: She's moved on to a new area. Official secret. Left this for you. Foyle takes the note. Foyle: Right. Tom: All right. Foyle: Thank you. The car drives over the ford. In the front seat, Foyle opens the envelope to read Barbara's note. Barbara (voiceover): I've been moved on. I can't say where, but I'm sorry. I didn't think my view of men could change. But you changed it. Barbara. Foyle sighs. The car continues driving away from the farm.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "03x03 - They Fought In the Fields"}	foreverdreaming
King's Head pub. Jack Archer sits at the bar wearing a Royal Engineers uniform. CAPTION: JUNE 1941 Jack drains what's left of his pint of beer as a man in a suit, Derek Woodgate, watches. Jack: Same again, then? Derek: I dunno, Jack. Jack: Come on, mate. It's only half past nine. Derek: And I have to be up at six. Jack: Bloody shipyard! You sit on your backside all day. What have you got to worry about? Ted, same again. He signals the bartender, Ted Roberts. Ted: Come on, gentlemen. You've had enough to drink. Time you were getting home, mmm? Derek: He's right, Jack. Come on. I'll walk you home. He lays a hand on Jack's shoulder. Jack: Get off me! Jack throws him off aggressively, tossing his pint glass down to shatter on the floor. It startles a group of girls. Sam is sitting among them, in civilian dress. Sam: Oh! Derek: Jack. Jack: I don't need you to walk me home. I'm not a girl. I'm not a child. Derek: Jack, that's not what I meant. Jack jumps to his feet. Jack: What? You think I'm scared of the dark, then? Eh? He gives Derek a shove. Ted: I'll have no fighting in here. You leave quiet, or I'll call the law. Jack: Yeah? I'm not scared of them. I'm not scared of nothing! Derek: Come on, Jack. Let's just go. Jack: Get off me. He shoves Derek back again and pulls a pstol out to point at him. Ted: Bloody hell! Jack: You don't know what's like to be scared, Derek. You got a nice, cushy number. Shop steward. Suppose someone put a bllet right between your eyes. Ted: (Fetch a copper.) A woman behind the bar with Ted hurries off. Derek: Where the hell did you get that from, Jack? Come on. Put it down. Jack: Ticking clock, Derek. Sam stands up from her table. Jack: Now you know what it feels like. Ten, nine, eight- Derek: Stop it, Jack. Sam comes over to the two of them. Sam: Excuse me. Jack: Scram. Sam: I'm with the police, actually. Ted: Police? Sam: Well, sort of. I was having a drink, and I really think you should put that down. Jack: Why don't you make me? He swings the gn around to point at Sam. Sam: You're not going to sht anybody. We're all on the same side. So why don't you put the gn down and we'll all sit and talk it through over another beer? Ted: He is not having any more. Sam: Come on. You don't want to get in any more trouble, do you? Give me the gn. Derek: Do as she says, Jack. Come on. Jack: I'm just trying to make a point. That's all. Sam: Yes, I think, I think you've made your point. She takes the gn and everyone sighs in relief. At that moment, the pub door opens. Ted: That's him. He was waving a gn. A uniformed policeman takes hold of Jack. Policeman: You'd better come with me. Derek: He didn't mean anything. Policeman: What's your name? Derek: His name's Jack Archer. Policeman: REs are you? Come on, then. Derek: I'll come, too. Policeman: And who are you? Derek: I'm his mate. Woodgate. Derek Woodgate. Ted: That was very brave of you, miss. Taking him on like that! Sam: Not really. I think he was just showing off. She picks up the gn. Sam: And I don't even think it's loaded. She points it away and pulls the trigger. A bllet shatters a lamp. Sam: Er... Oh. She sets the gn back down and lets out a breath. OPENING CREDITS Police station. Assistant Commissioner Rose approaches Sergeant Rivers at the front desk. Rose: Good morning. Assistant Commissioner Rose for Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle. Rivers: Is he expecting you, sir? Rose: Whether he's expecting me or not is neither here nor there. Can you show me to his office? Rivers: Right this way, sir. He leads Rose through and knocks on Foyle's door, then opens it. Rose: Foyle. Foyle: Commissioner. Rose: I hope I'm not interrupting. Foyle: Er, well, um, since you mention it there are better moments, but- Rose: Oh, it's busy? Foyle: Yes. Rose: What with? Foyle: Well, erm, there's a group, er, operating along the coast here, stealing anything from tyres to, er, steel and timber, and selling it on to private contractors. Rose: Oh, nothing too important. I can't see the wr effort being harmed by the loss of a few tyres. Foyle: Wouldn't exactly agree, sir. Rose: Wouldn't you? Foyle: Er, no, I wouldn't. Atlantic convoys, for example, are suffering, er, since shipyards can't patch up vessels, er, when welding plates have gone missing. Trains carrying troops and supplies, er, can't run when there are no materials for basic repairs. Petty crime, perhaps, but it's, erm, it's having a very significant effect on the wr effort. Rose: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. All right. What are you gonna do about it, mmm? Foyle: Er, well, we've managed to set up a company of builder's merchants, erm, operated by ourselves. Er, it's taken us three months to do it. Rose: I'm sure you can delegate. Something else has come up and I want you to take charge of it personally. He sits down and pulls a document out of a folder. Rose: Have you heard of the People's Convention? Foyle sits down too. Foyle: Er, left-wing intellectuals, erm, based in London... Rose: There's nothing intellectual about them. They're group of Communist agitators, eh, stirring up trouble for no reason at all. They're talking about people's government, people's peace. Dangerous Fifth Column nonsense. Foyle: Though not exactly illegal as far as I'm aware. Rose: One of their leaders is a man called Raymond Carter. Now, I've had word he's coming down this way. He's booked into the Regency Hotel here in Hastings with his fiancée. I want you to keep an eye on him. Foyle: Bit short on time, sir. It's, erm- Rose: I'm the one who decides what you do with your time. Carter's talking to trade unionists, local councillors. Look here, you're the one talking about railway lines and shipyards. He's, he's a Bolshie firebrand. He could do untold damage, disrupting day-to-day work with his ideas. Foyle: Well, I can't stop him having meetings. Rose: Well, you... you can arrest him on sedition if the need arises. Foyle: I remember the need arising to arrest me on sedition not so very long ago. Rose: Yes. Well... it was a misunderstanding, eh? Foyle: Isn't this? Rose: That's what I want you to look into. Keep an eye on him. See who he meets. That sort of thing. Then you can report back. Foyle: And, er, what do you that suggest I do with everything else? Rose: This comes first. Builder's yard. Milner comes out of a building dressed in civilian clothes. Another undercover office is loading a van. Undercover Officer: Paul. He nods Milner towards a man, William Mason, sitting on the steps opposite. Milner approaches him. Milner: Can I help you? Mason: You're the guvnor, right? Milner: That's right. Mason: I got word I might be able to help you out. Milner: I'm sorry, I don't have any vacancies. Mason: I'm not looking for a job. Milner: Then how can you help me? Mason: Are you looking for materials? Milner: Everyone's looking for materials. Mason: Well, not everyone's looking in the right place. Milner takes him through into a workshop. Mason: What are you after? Milner glances at a clipboard. Milner: I've got a job over in Eastbourne. Private air-raid shelter. We've dug the hole, but we need to shore it up, put the roof on. Bits and bobs. Have a look. He gives Mason the clipboard. Mason: I can get all of this. Milner: Where from? Mason: Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. That's how the song goes. Milner takes a box out of a drawer. Milner: All right. How much? Mason: That's better. £15 up front. And £15 more when I deliver. Milner: £15 is a lot of money to give somebody I've never met before. How do I know that I can trust you? Mason: Now you're asking silly questions again. Milner: All right. Give me your name. You know my name. I think it should work both ways. Mason: My name's Kimble. Ian Kimble. Milner gives him the money. Milner: How long will it take? Mason: We can do it tonight. You'll need a lorry. After work. Eight o'clock, all right? The old transformer factory at the end of Blackwood Lane. Milner: Yep, I'll know. I'll be there. Mason: Bring the rest of the money, and I don't want to see anyone with you. Milner: I'll need someone to help me carry the stuff. Mason: One man. One lorry. That's all you'll need. Mason leaves. Milner nods to the undercover officer. Milner: See where he goes. Talbot Brothers shipyard. A factory siren blows and people file out. Mason stands speaking with a couple of sailors. The undercover officer watches as he heads into one of the buildings. Police station. Sam walks in to the reception area and Rivers calls out to her as she passes the front desk. Rivers: Miss Stewart. I wonder if I could have a word? Sam: Don't tell me. I've parked in front of the entrance again. Rivers: No, it's nothing like that. No, it's about that business the other night at The King's Head. Sam: What? Rivers: Young lad with a gn. Sam: Oh. How did you hear about that? Rivers: Didn't you get the invitation? Jack Archer. Sam: He's the one marrying Gwen? Rivers: Yes. Sam: I've had his name on my mantelpiece. I didn't realise it was that Jack Archer. Rivers: They were at school together. They've always been sweethearts. Sam: Oh, dear. It's a bit embarrassing, isn't it? Rivers: You can say that again. Sam: Well... he was bit drunk, that's all. Rivers: I know that. He's a good lad really. And that's why I was wondering if you'd be prepared to put in a word for him. You were there. You know he wasn't really gonna hurt anyone. Sam: You want me to go to court? Rivers: I just thought if you went up before the magistrate, you know, as a witness... Sam: I'd be glad to. How is Gwen? I haven't seen her for a while. Rivers: Oh, she's been working. That's why. What with this wedding! Sam: He's a sapper. I suppose that must put him under a lot of pressure. Rivers: Oh, yes. It certainly does. Playground. A sign has been set up saying "Keep Clear, Unexploded bmb". In a pit down in the ground, Jack is hammering a wooden barrier in place around the bmb, while Captain Ralph Hammond bends over it. Jack: It's a fifteen. Hammond: Mm-hmm. Jack: You done the ring? Hammond: Yep. Jack: It's a straight Crabtree, then. Hammond: Yes. Jack: And it's sunny side up. Bit of luck that. Hammond: Yes, Jack. This is a really marvellously lucky day. I'm stuck in the mud in a big bloody hole with you and a bmb when I could be really unlucky and be taking Margaret Lockwood out to tea. Up above, another sapper, Ernie Jones, is leaning on their car in front of the gathered crowd. An air-raid warden comes up behind him. Warden: Looks like a bad one. What is it, then? 2,000lbs? Ernie doesn't respond. Pit. Jack is still hammering at the wooden barrier. Hammond: Have you finished? Jack: Yep. Hammond: Then why don't you get the hell out of here and leave me to get on with it? Jack: Right, sir. Jack climbs a ladder back out of the pit. He stops at the top and looks down at Hammond before jogging away. By the car, the warden is still standing with Ernie. Warden: Want me to move these people back a bit? I can do that if you want. Jack arrives to join them. Warden: Everything all right, then? Jack: What? Warden: Got the fuse out yet? Jack lights Ernie's cigarette for him. Jack: Ernie, get the char up. Ernie looks up at him, and Jack makes a drinking motion. Ernie nods and moves away. Warden: He doesn't talk much. Jack: That's 'cause he doesn't hear much. That's why. He heads around to the back of the car where Ernie is making the tea, and the warden walks round the other side. A group of other sappers are waiting in the back of a lorry behind the car. Warden: Typical bloody Jerry, dropping a bmb in a children's playground. Woman: Have you finished, then? Warden: I bet they meant it as well. How long will this take? Jack shrugs. Pit. Hammond is struggling to twist a ring that forms part of the bmb mechanism. He goes to a bag hanging nearby and takes out a hammer and chisel. With gentle blows of the chisel he manages to loosen it. He slots a tool into some notches in the ring, and this time manages to get it to turn. He pulls the ring out and sets it aside, then screws a clamp onto the cylinder beneath. He checks his watch, then wipes sweat from his face. Regency Hotel. Raymond Carter and his fiancée Lucinda Sheridan are just getting out of their car in front of the hotel. The bellboy goes to take their cases. Carter: Oh, no, no, no, thank you. That's very kind of you, but I can manage it myself. He starts up the steps with the suitcases. Lucinda: Raymond, really! Carter: I think I can carry my own cases, darling. I certainly don't need the help of a fourteen-year-old boy. Lucinda: You do have to make a point about everything. Carter: Of course. They enter the hotel. Hotel reception area. Foyle is speaking with the receptionist at the front desk. Receptionist: Oh, yes. A Mr and Mrs Carter. They telephoned this morning. But they've not arrived yet. Foyle: I see. Thank you. He goes to leave just as Carter and Lucinda reach the front desk. Carter: Good afternoon. My name's Raymond Carter. I made a reservation. Receptionist: Oh, yes, sir. This gentleman was just asking for you. Carter: Oh, yes? Foyle: Yes, how do you do. The name's Foyle. Erm, but, er, this can wait. Carter: I don't think we've met. Foyle: No. You're right. We haven't. Lucinda: He's a policeman, I think. Foyle: That's right. Carter: Ah. Here to check up on me already. That's very quick. Foyle: No. I was just, erm, making sure you'd arrived safely. Carter: Well, I think you were just making sure I'd arrived. Not quite the same thing. I hope you don't mind if I don't talk to you right now. We've had a rather beastly journey. I need a wash and brush-up, as does my wife. Foyle: Of course. He looks at Lucinda's hand and sees she's not wearing a wedding ring. Lucinda: Why don't you join us for lunch tomorrow, Mr Foyle? I'm sure you'll want to know what we're up to, and we'll be very glad to tell you all. Carter: That's a splendid idea. Shall we say one o'clock? Foyle: Kind of you. Thank you. He turns to leave. Playground. The crowd murmur among themselves. Down in the pit, Hammond ties a string to the clamp that he just fixed in place. He climbs a few steps up the ladder then slowly hauls the string in, pulling the cylinder out. Up above, a woman reassures her young daughter. Mother: (Look up at me. Yeah? Okay.) The girl nods. Pit. Hammond carefully picks up the cylinder and unscrews the fuse from it. He catches the fuse and lets out a relieved breath. Up above, the crowd watch as Hammond comes up the ladder. Sapper: There he is, look. Woman: Oh! Sapper: He's got it. Sapper 2: Well done, sir! Hammond: Over to you, chaps. He rounds the back of the van and hands the cylinder to Jack. Hammond: There she is. Jack: All right. Warden: Got the fuse, then? Hammond: Yep. He gives Jack the fuse as well. Warden: The gaine. Hammond: That's what it's called. He turns to the group of sappers. Hammond: Right. You can pull her out now. Warden: Hope you're not gonna forget my clearance certificate. Hammond: No. Glad you mentioned it. Completely slipped my mind. He pulls out a pen and taps Ernie on the back, making a writing gesture. Ernie hands him the certificate in Hammond leans on his back to write. Hammond: Thank you. An old woman, Brenda Wilson, approaches them from the crowd. Brenda: Excuse me. Hammond: Yes. Brenda: My name's Brenda Wilson. I live here. Hammond: Mm-hmm. Brenda: Just down the road. And I want you to know I think what you do really is the tops. Hammond: Thanks. Brenda: Er, me and the others we've had a whip round. Just to show we're grateful. Hold your hand out. She tips some money from her purse into his palm. Brenda: Ah. Here we are. You have a drink on us. Hammond: Thank you. We'll do that. The crowd all clap. Warden: Are you allowed to keep that, then? Hammond: Nope. All money received has to be paid into the Royal Engineers Association bank. I'll send you the receipt. He and Jack head back round to the front of the car. Hammond: Twerp! Jack laughs as they get in. Police station. Foyle is heading back to his office. Milner steps out of his own office as he approaches. Milner: Sir, I think our luck's finally changed. A man called Ian Kimble came to see me this afternoon. He hasn't got a record, but I had him followed and went back to Talbot's yard. Foyle: Well, plenty of stuff there to get his hands on. They head into Foyle's office. Milner: I got the impression that, er, he was working on his own, though. I don't think he's part of a gng. Foyle: Is he on their payroll? Milner: I didn't want to check him out just in case he found out that we were onto him. Foyle: Right. Milner: We're meeting this evening. Foyle: Can you, erm, handle this? Milner: Yes, sir. I don't see why not. Foyle: Right. I'll be at home if you need me. Milner: I'm sure we won't, sir. Street corner. Jack and Gwen Rivers are walking hand-in-hand. Jack: It was a thousand kilos underneath the playground off the high street. Gwen: Why hadn't it gone off? Jack: Dunno. Probably too low, or it could have been a dodgy fuse. Bloody Jerries! They call themselves the master race and they can't even make a decent bmb. Gwen: I wish you didn't have to do it. Jack: If I had a quid for every time you said that. Gwen: You should transfer. Jack: Look, they won't even consider it for another month. Till then there's only one way out. At least it's quick and painless. Gwen: Don't say that! Don't ever say that. Jack: Maybe they'll lock me up. Mr Hammond says that's what I'm hoping for. Gwen: Why did you do it, Jack? And why were you carrying a gn? They stop in front of the steps up to Gwen's house. Jack: A mate gave it to me. He got it off a German NCO at Dunkirk. He said it'd bring me luck. Gwen: It's done nothing of the sort. Jack: I'm still in one piece, aren't I? Sergeant Rivers arrives, wheeling his bicycle. Rivers: Evening, Jack. Jack: Mr Rivers. Rivers: You coming in for tea, then? Jack: Er, no, sir. Thanks all the same. Rivers: You're not going out boozing? Gwen: Dad! Jack: No. I'm gonna go home and get an early night. Jack: Will you be at court tomorrow? Gwen: Course I'll be there. Rivers: You taking time off work? Gwen: They gave me the morning off, Dad. I'm not going to let him be there on his own. Rivers: Oh, right. Oh. See you inside, then. Night, Jack. Jack: Night, sir. Gwen: I told them it was my time of the month. Jack: Well, I'll see you, then. Gwen: I don't know how you could do it. Pulling out a gn? Jack: Well, it was a mascot. Didn't even know it was loaded. Gwen: You're an idiot, Jack Archer. Jack: Yeah? They kiss, then Jack looks up the steps to check if Rivers is watching. Blackwood Lane. Milner and the other undercover officer drive up to the old factory in the their builder's van. Milner enters the factory. Mason watches from the mezzanine level above for a few moments. Mason: How many of you are there? Milner: Just me and the driver. Mason: I wanna see both of you. The same undercover officer as before walks in from outside. Mason starts down the stairs. Mason: I've got everything you want. Wood. Steel. Girders. Joists. The lot. Milner: You bring it here by yourself? Mason: What's it matter to you? Where's the dosh? Milner: I'm afraid I don't have the money, Mr Kimble. We're police officers and you're under arrest. Mason: What? You lousy bleeder! He pulls out a gn and aims it at Milner. Mason: You stay where you are. Milner: fre that and you'll hang. Mason: Back off! Milner: Put it down. Mason fires, grazing Milner's left arm. He drops to the ground and the driver checks on him as Mason runs back up the stairs. Undercover Officer: Get after him! Uniformed officers run into the factory and chase after Mason. He runs through the factory and down another set of stairs. Mason leaves the stairwell by a door at the bottom. A policeman arrives a few moments later, but heads off in the wrong direction. Sam and Foyle drive up to the entrance to the Talbot yard. A sailor on guard duty approaches their car. Sam: This is Chief Superintendent Foyle for Mr Talbot. He checks a list then heads back towards the gate, calling out to his fellow guard. Sailor: Alf! Alf: Righto. They open the gate and the car drives through. Talbot Brothers' office. Foyle enters the office, where brothers Mark and Peter Talbot are waiting. Mark: Very nice to meet you again, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Yes. It was, erm- Mark: It was Sibley Rotary Group, and, er, you spoke to us just before Christmas. Foyle: Right. Mark: Er, this is my brother Peter. Now, Peter heads up the Community Service Committee, and- oh, please, won't you sit down, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Thank you. Mark: Yes, er, we raised £50 partly thanks to you, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Oh, good. He and Foyle head through to a seating area at the back while Peter stays over by the desk. Mark: Yes, for Coventry. What's left of it. Yeah, I, I, I was there in January. Terrible what the Germans have done. Foyle: Yeah. Mark: Beautiful cathedral. I was married there, you know. Foyle: Are you, er, from the Midlands? Mark: No, no, no. We were born and brought up in Saltfleet, so we've been around ships just about all our lives. Foyle: And how long have you been here now? Mark: This used to be the Hannaford Shipyard and we bought it when old John Hannaford died. Peter: '37. Mark: Never expected to end up at the coalface, but, er, well, the wr wasn't part of our business plan. Peter: (Bloody wr. Bloody waste of time.) Mark: Sorry, Peter? Peter: Bloody waste of time. What did the Poles ever mean to us? Mark: Yes, well, Peter and I don't agree on everything, but let's not go into that now. So, erm, how can I help you, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Oh, I was wondering if you've got a man working here called Ian Kimble? Mark: Kimble. No, that doesn't ring any bells. Does it? Peter: We've got 400 men working here. We can't know them all. Mark: Hey, we've got 400 men and women. Yes, we've got women riveters. We've got painters. We've- even welders. Eh, everything's changed. Peter: We'll be into prefabrication soon. We've got the Yanks to thank for that. Mark: Ian Kimble. Now, maybe I can help you, Mr Foyle. He goes over and picks up the telephone. Mark: Er... Yes, hello. Could you bring in the wages book please, Miss Hargreaves? Thank you. He puts the phone down. Mark: You see, if he's on the payroll, then he'll be in the book. Foyle: Right. Is that a destroyer I saw out there? Mark: Aye, she's in for repairs. Yeah. We only work for the Admiralty and the Ministry of Shipping now. It makes life easier, but we're still working hell for leather most of the time. Peter: Round the clock! Mark: The way these ships get beaten up in the North Atlantic. We have to get 'em out again. Tomorrow isn't soon enough. Peter: We've got people out there working fourteen-hour days. Mark stands up as Miss Hargreaves enters with the wages book. Mark: When the unions let us. Thank you, Miss Hargreaves. He takes the book from her. Mark: Thank you. Er, right, let's have a look. Er, please, Mr Foyle, come and see. Foyle: Yeah. He gets up to join him at the table. Mark: So that's... would be into 1-19, and, yeah, Keane, Kettle, Killick. There we are. Kimble. Aye. Er, yes. He works in the storeroom. Would you like me to call him up? Foyle: Er, no. Not necessary. Erm, got an address for him? Mark: Yes. Er, 37 Orchard Street. Foyle: Right. Thank you. Mark: May I ask what he's done, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Well, it, erm... have a problem with stock, er, going missing at all here? Mark: No. No, no, no we keep an inventory of everything. We run a very tight ship, don't we? No, there's no way anything goes out from here without our knowing about it. Foyle: Right. Thank you very much. He shakes Marks hand. Mark: Thank you. Any, er, way that we can be of help, you just, er, give us a call. Foyle: Thank you. Goodbye. He shakes hands with Peter as well. Mark: Miss Hargreaves will see you out, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Thank you, sir. Courtroom. Jack stands in the dock as Hammond speaks in his defence. Hammond: Corporal Archer is an exemplary member of my squad. I'd like to mention that since he joined me, he's been involved in 28 UXBs, one of which exploded, klling an officer and wounding several others. His behaviour at the King's Head was completely out of character. Magistrate: He was intoxicated. Hammond: Well, yes, ma'am, but, um, if you'd been sitting in a hole with 1,000 kilograms of high explsive and a ticking fuse between your legs, you might need a drink, too. Magistrate: Thank you. Hammond steps down. Magistrate: I understand there's a further witness here. A Miss Stewart? Sam enters the courtroom. Gwen Rivers and Ted Roberts are both sitting watching. Sam goes up to place her hand on the Bible. Sam: I hereby swear by almighty God to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Magistrate: You're with the police? Sam: Yes, ma'am. I'm a police driver. Magistrate: And you were at the public house on the night in question? Sam: Yes. Er, but I have to tell you, er, Jack Archer didn't mean anything by it. Magistrate: He was aiming a loaded pstol at another man's head. Sam: Yes, but he didn't know it was loaded. And he wasn't really aiming. Ted stands up. Ted: That is not true! Magistrate: Thank you, Mr Roberts. Miss Stewart, you're contradicting everything we've been told. Sam: Well, what I mean is... he, he was waving the gn at everyone and everywhere, but, um, well, he certainly didn't aim it at me. Ted: What? Sam: Well, he pointed the gn at me when he gave it to me, but, um, he had no intention of, of fring it. Erm, and may I say, ma'am, that, er, Corporal Archer is a hero. And, er, what he's doing is quite marvellous. And I would be quite ready to go to prison in his place. Magistrate: I beg your pardon? Sam: Well, I was the one who fired the gn in the end. Magistrate: You fired the gn? Sam: Accidentally. Er, nobody was hurt. Magistrate: Thank you, Miss Stewart. Sam nods and steps down. Magistrate: Corporal Archer, you have committed a very grave breach of the peace. And the fact you were carrying a firearm is particularly serious. In normal circumstances you would be facing a jail sentence. However, we accept that you have been working under severe mental strain. And in this instance one of the witnesses may have done more damage than yourself. The wapon has been surrendered? Jack: Yes, ma'am. Magistrate: Then we are dismissing you with a caution. Jack sighs in relief. Magistrate: You may resume your duties. The magistrate rises and everyone else does to. Man: All right, son. Jack leaves the dock and Gwen goes over to join him. Later. Gwen and Jack are coming down the stairs, holding hands. Gwen: Don't you get yourself in any more trouble, Jack Archer. Jack: What about you? They'll dock you a day's pay. Gwen: Oh, I don't mind. I wasn't going to let you be here on your own. They go to kick, but Hammond comes up behind them and clears his throat. Hammond: Sorry to interrupt you, Corporal, but, erm, what was it now? Oh, yes, of course, There's a wr on. Come on. Jack gives her a quick kiss on the cheek. Jack: I'll see you soon. Gwen: Bye-bye. As he leaves, Sam comes up to join Gwen. Sam: Hello, Gwen. How are you? Gwen: Sam. Better now, thanks to you. Thank you for what you said. Sam: I was glad to help. And congratulations! Gwen: Oh, the wedding. Thanks. Are you coming? Sam: Am I coming? Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Gwen: Listen, I don't suppose you fancy a cup of tea and a sandwich or something? We're only round the corner. Sam: As long as your father doesn't report me to Mr Foyle. Gwen: I'm absent without leave, too. Come on. This way. The two of them walk along the street together. Sam: I was at the yard where you work today. Gwen: An investigation? Sam: Stolen supplies. Don't suppose you know a man called Ian Kimble, do you? Gwen: No. But there's loads of people there, though. Sam: What exactly do you do? Gwen: Promise you won't laugh. I'm a welder. Sam: Why would I laugh? That's marvellous. Gwen: Well, I quite enjoy it. It's better- more fun than my last job. Better paid. I still get less than the men, though. Sam: Yeah, I bet. Gwen: Mmm. It's not fair really. I'm just as good as them. Sam: Mmm. They heads up the steps to Gwen's house. Gwen: I learnt about it in my last job. Sam: The cake shop? Gwen: Yeah. Sam: I don't see the connection. Gwen: Well, welding's a bit like icing cakes. Though I shouldn't be talking about cakes right now. Sam: Oh, yes. The wedding. Gwen: Yep. Two weeks away. I don't know what we're gonna do. She opens the door and they go in. Regency Hotel. Derek Woodgate walks towards the reception area with Raymond Carter. Derek: Well, it's good to see you. Carter: And you. Derek: And, er, next time you'll come to the yard, eh? Carter: You think I'll be welcome? Derek: Like I was telling you, Mr Carter, there's a lot of us who believe in what you're saying. And, er, well, things will change. They shake hands. Carter: Good luck. Derek: Thank you. Foyle is arriving just as Derek leaves. Carter: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Yes. Carter: I've booked a table in the hotel restaurant. Foyle: Right. They follow an older couple in. Man: I'm looking forward to this. Woman: Jolly good idea. Back garden at the Rivers house. Gwen is pouring Sam some tea at an outdoor table. Gwen: We can't have a cake for the wedding. Well, we can, but we're not allowed icing. There's a Sugar Order, would you believe it! We can have chocolate, but it's not the same. Sam offers to pour her some milk. Gwen: Mmm. Can't get confetti either, so I've got the girls in the office saving up the little bits of paper you get from punches. Paper punches. We've had to fight to get film for the photographs. Sam: Why didn't you wait until after the wr's over? Gwen: That's what Dad says. I can't wait for Jack. You know the work he does, and if we wait, and... we might... never... Oh, I'm sorry. I love him. I, I've always loved him. I just- I just want... Sam: I'm sorry, Gwen. I didn't mean to upset you. Here. Have a hanky. I'm sure you'll get through it all right. There were fewer bmb last week. Maybe the Germans are running out. Gwen: Haven't even got a maid of honour. Jenny's in America. She can't come over. Sam: Why don't you ask one of the welders? In fact you could have a whole bunch of them standing outside the church, wielding their welding rods. Gwen: It's a registry office. Sam: You don't need a cake. You don't need anything. As long as you have each other. Gwen: I don't suppose... Er, well, I suppose I should have thought of you in the first place really, but would you be my maid of honour? If it weren't for you, Jack might not even be free to get married. Sam: Of course. I'd be delighted. Gwen: Really? Sam: Yes. Why not? I love weddings. My father's a vicar. Gwen: Well, I know Jack'd be pleased. He was grateful for you turning up the way you did. Sam: There's only one problem. Maid of honour. How am I going to get a dress? Hotel restaurant. Foyle sits at the table with Carter and Lucinda. Lucinda: I'm very glad you agreed to join us, Mr Foyle. If you're going to investigate us, this is the more civilised way. Foyle: How did you know, by the way, that I was a policeman, Miss, erm...? Lucinda: Sheridan. But please call me Lucinda. And it was a lucky guess really. Although you could say I know a thing or two about authority figures. Foyle: Lucinda Sheridan the artist? Lucinda: You know my work? Foyle: I do. My wife was a watercolourist. Carter: Are you investigating us? Foyle: Er, no. No, I'm just, er, interested, er, in why you're here. Carter: Well, er, we're holding a series of meetings. Informal. Foyle: The People's Convention? Carter: We want improved living standards, improved air-raid shelters. I don't see any crime in that. Foyle: Well, there isn't. Er, but you're also demanding, er, self-determination for the colonies, erm, restoration of trade union rights, friendship with the USSR. Carter: You've been doing your homework. Foyle: And, er, at a time like this, in a defence area like this, erm, political activity such as this could be construed as provocative. Carter: The government's been throwing the rulebook at us. Regulation 2D. They used it to close down The Daily Worker. The one paper that really supported us. Lucinda: Artists and writers are being banned by the BBC. Carter: Alan Bush, one of our sympathisers. They even tossed out JB Priestley. Lucinda: They're running scared. Carter: This wr is a mess. They know it. They got us into it. And we're all suffering as a result of it. Foyle: Of course, you're perfectly entitled to your opinion, and far be it for me to try to stop you. Carter: Oh, so, um, why are you here, then? Come on, Mr Foyle. You think I don't see it. Getting friendly with us so you can what? Arrest us in the middle of the night? You're just a small cog in the government machine. Lucinda: Raymond. Carter: The real wr that's going on at the moment is a class wr. The people who are getting slaughtered in France and Africa are being sent there by officers who owe their rank simply to the public schools they attended. We're all being kept in our place. That's why you're here. Foyle: Listen. Thank you for the invitation. Erm, but I've a feeling you'd enjoy your lunch a little better without me. He stands up. Carter: Afraid to be seen with me. Well, you wouldn't be the first. Foyle: Mr Carter. Miss Sheridan. As he leaves the restaurant, Lucinda gets up to follow, and Carter sighs in annoyance. Lucinda catches up to Foyle in the reception area outside. Lucinda: Mr Foyle. Mr Foyle, I wanted to apologise to you. Raymond was very offensive just now. He believes passionately in The People's Convention. Sometimes he gets carried away. But he's a good man. He's as much against the nzi as anyone. Foyle: I'm sure. Lucinda: People have written horrible things about him. He was a journalist, but nobody will publish what he writes any more. They call him a defeatist. A Communist. But we went to Coventry together. We saw what had happened there. The suffering of the people. We can't bear the thought that it'll happen again. Maybe here. Foyle: You think I don't feel the same? Lucinda: Of course not. Raymond shouldn't have spoken to you like that. Foyle: Certainly, erm, make my life a lot easier if you and Mr Carter felt able, er, to return to London at your earliest convenience. Lucinda: Is that a warning? Foyle: No, no, no. Just, er, a suggestion. Police station. Sam is walking towards the records office with two cups of tea. Foyle (offscreen): Sam. She stops and looks back. Sam: Sir. Foyle: How d'you get on? Sam: Oh. Fine, sir. They let him off. Foyle: Well done. He walks past Milner's office, where Milner is at his desk with his left arm in a sling. Milner: Sir. He gets up to meet Foyle. Foyle: How's the arm? Milner: Oh. Hardly notice it. I don't know why I've got all this. Ian Kimble. Nothing from the Department of Labour. He hasn't been issued with an identity card or ration books. Foyle: And the address he gave doesn't exist. Milner: Oh. But I did finally find an Ian Kimble. I checked with Somerset House. He's a local man. Born in 1920. Foyle: And? Milner: Died when he was seventeen. He's buried at St Mark's. Foyle: Right. Talbot shipyard. The Talbot brothers meet Foyle at the edge of a dry dock. Mark: I didn't expect to see you again quite so soon, Mr Foyle. Not that you're not very welcome. Anything we can do to help? Peter: Er, we're already checking the main inventory. I checked it myself this afternoon. There's nothing astray. Foyle: Good. Mark: So, er, what can we do for you? Foyle: Well, it's this man Ian Kimble. Mark: Ah, now, he didn't clock in this morning. Foyle: Well, I'm not surprised. He's been dad for four years. Mark: Sorry? Foyle: Whoever you've got here is just using the name. I'd like to speak to anybody who works with him. Mark: Well, you, you, you're more than welcome to try, Mr Foyle, but, er, it seems that nobody here knows him very well. Foyle: What sort of identification did he give when you employed him? Mark: Er, well, the usual papers. I dunno. Suppose they could have been false. Foyle: And how was he paid? Mark: Cash in an envelope at the end of the week. He'd have had to sign for it, but- An air-raid siren begins to go off. Mark: Listen, I suggest we continue this conversation in the shelter, Mr Foyle. Peter: (Never bloody ends!) Woman: Come on, Reggie, shift yourself! The shipyard's klaxon blares and workers hurry out of the building, a warden pointing them towards the shelter. Parked out in front, Sam and Milner get out of the car and look around. Milner, no longer wearing his sling, points towards the shelter and Sam starts heading that way. Milner: Sam! He heads back to grab the bags with their gas masks from the car. He catches up to Sam and they head into the shelter. The warden guides more people in after them. Warden: Everyone through here. The Talbot brothers and Foyle come up the street behind him. Warden (offscreen): This way, now. Come on. This way. Quick as you can! Foyle follows the others into the shelter. Inside, the warden walks along, counting people. Foyle and Mark stand opposite Peter. There's the whistle and explsin of a bmb blast close by, and the shelter shakes. Child: I don't like it. Those shakes. There's another whistle and the sound of shattering glass, but no explsin. Sapper headquarters. The phone rings and Hammond goes over to answer it. Hammond: Captain Hammond here. Right. Thank you so much. He puts the phone down and walks out to start grabbing equipment, passing a table where Ernie and Jack sit playing cards. Hammond: Jack, Ernie, terribly sorry to interrupt your tea break, but we've had a call out, category A1. They both get up to follow him out. Jack: Where? Hammond: The shipyard. Talbot's. Ernie, can you get the lads? Ernie turns around and heads back through into an area to the rear. Street outside Talbot's. Milner, Foyle and Sam are standing by the car as the sappers' lorry arrives. Sam: It's the bmb squad, sir. Hasn't the bmb gone off yet? Foyle: Doesn't look like it. The Talbot bothers are standing by the entrance to a run-down warehouse marked "No Unauthorized Entry". Peter: Mark and I had better go in and check the damage. Foyle: Is that a good idea? I mean, what is this place? Mark: Ah, don't worry, it's just part of the old shipyard. It hasn't been used for years. It's been derelict since- Foyle: Shouldn't we clear this area, then? Mark: Yes, yes. We will see to that. Foyle: Mm-hmm. The three sappers get out of the lorry. Sam: It's Jack Archer, sir. Hammond: Who's in charge here? Sam: The man with the gn in the pub. Mark: This is our shipyard. Hammond: You can help me move these people back at least 100 yards. Mark: Why, are you going in there? Hammond: Well, since you've got a UXB in there, it would seem to be a good idea. Peter: There is no UXB. It went off. Hammond: You think so? Peter: Well, you can see for yourself. Warden: Right back. Right, lads? Hammond: If the bmb had gone off, all the windows would be blown out. No scorch marks. No splinter damage. What's inside? Peters: Old boats. Hulls. Relics. Nothing of any value. Hammond: Right we'll take a look. Will you move back? Please. You two, with me. He gestures to Jack and Ernie, and the three of them enter the warehouse. Inside. Hammond looks around, and then points at a gap smashed through the roof beams. Hammond: (There.) They make their way through the junk-filled warehouse until they find the bmb, sticking tail-up out of a pile of a scrap. Jack: It's a Herman. Hammond approaches to get a closer look. Ernie sets his toolbox down, and spots the corner of a banknote sticking out of a wooden box. He goes over and opens it, to find it full of paper packages of money. Hammond: Least it's sunny side up. Makes life a little easier. Ernie: Jack, look at this. Jack: Not now, Ernie. Hammond: No. Take a look. Jack comes over and sees the money. Jack: Bloody hell! Ernie: Pssst! Hammond: The bmb's over here, chaps. Jack gestures for him to come over and look. Ernie laughs. Ernie: How much d'you reckon? Jack: Dunno. A grand, ten grand maybe? Ernie: Fifty, more like. Hammond comes over and sees the money. Outside. The Talbot brothers stand with Foyle and Milner Mark: Well, I have to say, Mr Foyle, this does put things into perspective, doesn't it? Foyle: What do you mean? Mark: Well, this was no accident, this bmb falling here. We're obviously the target. Makes you think. We're in the front line. So, er, an attck like this, it's, er, life and death. Makes a few missing supplies seem like small beer by comparison, doesn't it? Foyle: Well, I couldn't agree more. On the other hand, didn't you just tell me there aren't any missing supplies? But, erm, there's a better time for this. I'll be back. Foyle and Milner walk over to where Sam is driving up in the car. Foyle: You've got men posted at bus and railway stations looking for Kimble, yeah? Milner: Yes, sir. And there are roadblocks on all the main roads. Foyle: We should get a list of everyone working in the storeroom. Milner: Yes, sir. They get into the car and drive away. Back at the warehouse, Hammond and Ernie are just emerging. Mark: So, did you find anything? Hammond: Yes, sir. Quite a big thing as a matter of fact. A Herman. Not hard to spot. Peter: And what's a Herman? Hammond: A 1,000 kilogram bmb. Can't think how it got there. It might just have fallen through the roof. Mark: So, can you defuse it? Hammond: It's a tricky one. 28A fuse. Anti-disturbance. The slightest vibration could set it off. So, nobody cough. Mark: What's your name, Captain? Hammond: Ralph Hammond. Mark: You seem to take this all very lightly. Jack comes out of the warehouse behind them. Hammond: Well, it's all in a day's work, isn't it? Corporal, we're gonna need the quilter key. Jack and Ernie jog off towards the lorry. Mark: What's that? Hammond: It's a tool designed to unlock the cap, which gives us access to the fuse. And if it works, we can all go home for tea. Mark: And if it doesn't? Hammond: I'd appreciate it if you'd go away, sir. Far away. Peter: Captain Hammond. Mark: All right. Come along, Peter. Peter: Whatever you say. William Mason's house. He's sitting at the table, but jumps up when someone comes in. It's his wife, Joanne. He sighs in relief. Mason: What you doing home this time? Joanne: Didn't you hear? There was a raid. We were sent home early. Mason: Did you cop one? Joanne: Yeah, but it didn't go off. You been in here all day? Mason: Where else am I gonna go? I've been thinking. Joanne: Oh, yeah? Mason: London. That's the answer. Joanne: London? How are you even gonna get out of Hastings? I was down the station. There were police everywhere. Mason: I'll go by bus. Joanne: They're stopping the buses. They're stopping all the cars. I told you, you should never have got yourself mixed up in all this. Mason: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joanne: What you gonna do if you even get there? You've got nowhere to go. Mason: I'll go to Aunt Dot's. She'll put me up. Joanne: You won't get to London. You won't get anywhere near. You've got to turn yourself in. It's only a load of wood. Mason: I can't turn myself in. Joanne: It's six months. You've been inside before. Turn yourself in, maybe they'll go easy on you. Mason: Forget it! I sht a copper. Joanne: What? Mason: I didn't know what I was doing. It was self-defence. Joanne: Bill, I don't believe this. Did you kll him? Mason: I dunno. Joanne: Well, somebody had bloody better find out. Mason: I wasn't thinking. Joanne: You can say that again! What we gonna do? Mason: Like I said. Joanne: You're not going anywhere. They won't find you. They don't know who you are. But we need to know about the copper. Mason: Do you think they're gonna put it in the newspapers? Joanne: No. But I know someone. She'll tell me. Warehouse. Ernie walks out, followed by a man driving a motorised cart with the bmb on the back. Jack is sitting on the bmb. Hammond and the Talbot brothers watch them pass. Warden: He's sitting on that. Woman: Look at that! He's sitting on it. Hammond nods to the Talbots and walks off after the group with the bmb. Peter moves as if to go into the warehouse, but Mark stops him. They walk away along the street inside. Rivers house. Sam is eating with Gwen and Sergeant Rivers. Gwen: I'm so glad you're gonna be there, Sam. Sam: I still don't know what I'm going to wear with all this rationing. Eleven coupons for a dress! Gwen: Oh, they still take margarine coupons. Sam: Mmm. I haven't got any left. Gwen: I'll get Mum to run you up something if you like? She's making me a dress out of butter muslin. Sam: I'm not sure I'd look my best in butter muslin. They say, er, Reed & Pettigrew will turn a blind eye. Although if they did, I'm sure your father would have to arrest them. Rivers: We're not having any of that. Gwen: Well, at least we'll have a proper spread. I went down to the Food Office today to get permits for the extra food. Rivers: Half a pound of butter for twenty guests. That won't go far. Gwen: Stop grumbling, Dad. You don't want me to get married because you won't have me looking after you any more. Rivers: So, where is he, then, that young man of yours? I thought you were seeing him this evening. Gwen: Didn't turn up. Rivers: That's not like him. Gwen: Mmm. Maybe he was embarrassed after what happened. Rivers: I'm not surprised. Gwen: Well, I'm surprised he didn't call. Sam: I saw him at the dockyard just after the bmb fell. Gwen: Mmm. I heard he was down there. I didn't dare go and look. Rivers: So, where is he? Gwen: I don't know, Dad. I'm sure he'll turn up. King's Head pub. The three sappers sit at a table together with their beers. Jack: It's wrong. Hammond: Yes, Jack, I think we've got the message. Jack: No, what I'm saying is- Hammond: I know what you're saying. But it's too late. We decided, the three of us. Jack: It's wrong. Ernie: I'm going back to the billet. He abruptly stands up. Hammond: You haven't finished- Ernie: I've had enough of this. I'm off. Jack: You should go after him. Hammond: Why? You're the one I'm worried about, Jack. This sudden attck of conscience. For Pete's sake, you're getting married in a week. Cheer up. Outside. Ernie leaves the pub and walks along the darkened street. As he reaches a side street, he almost walks right into a car that suddenly pulls out. The car stops, and a man with a cosh whacks Ernie over the head. He and the driver bundle Ernie into the back. As the car drives off, a woman in a nurse's uniform, Jenny Wright, wheels her bike along and stares after them. Talbot shipyard. Rose (voiceover): Foyle? He was here already? Peter (voiceover): Twice. He was here yesterday. Assistant Commissioner Rose is sitting with the Talbot brothers at the table in their office. Rose: He was here about Raymond Carter? Mark: Raymond Carter? No. No, I haven't heard of him. Peter: He was asking about stolen materials, petty pilfering. Rose: I see. Mmm, of course. Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm, I'm afraid we're at cross purposes. That's not why I'm here. The secretary brings them all tea. Mark: Oh. Glad to hear it. I thought Mr Foyle was wasting his time. Peter: And ours. The secretary set a cup down by Mark. Mark: Thank you. So, um, why are you here? Is it, er, something about this man that you mentioned? The secretary sets another cup down next to Peter. Peter: (Thank you.) Mark: This man you that mentioned, Carter. Rose: He's a left-wing agitator. He's a member of an organisation calling itself the People's Convention. Mark: No, I'm afraid I haven't heard of them either. Peter: We keep our heads down. We're working 24 hours in 24. We've no time for politics. Rose: So, you haven't noticed any upsurge in what I might loosely describe as industrial unrest? Mark: Well, as a matter of fact there have been certain developments recently. Well, yes, I had a meeting with one of our shop stewards, a man called Derek Woodgate. Peter: He's a troublemaker. Mark: By and large we've had no problems with the unions. I mean, they support the wr. Good for them, Mr Rose. But, er, it's certain individuals among the rank and file that give us the biggest headaches. Rose: Oh, you mean strikes? Mark: Well, strikes have been illegal since Order 1305 last year, but it doesn't stop them. Peter: One-day strikes and lock-outs. You have no idea how many man-hours we've lost, and nobody does anything about it. There's never been any prosecutions. Rose: This man, Woodgate, has he thrat you with strike action? Mark: Oh, no. No, no. Not in- not in so many words, but now he wants to set up what he calls a works committee. Peter: No need to say who'll be at its head. Mark: I mean, we met with him in this very office, and there was something about the way he spoke to us. Rose: Yeah. I mean, you think he's been got at? Mark: No doubt about it. Even his language. It was socialism, the class wr, the proletariat. Er, now, this, um, man that you were asking about, Raymond Carter. Is he in Hastings? Rose: I'm afraid so. Mark: Well, a man like Woodgate, given the right ammniton, could do us much damage to us as the whole of the Luftwaffe. Peter: We had a raid only yesterday. Mark: And quite frankly, your Mr Foyle seems to have his head buried in the sand. And we are fighting a wr. All he was interested in was a handful of missing supplies. Police station. Jenny Wright sits in an office drinking a cup of tea. Wright: There were two men. One driving. They must have been waiting outside the pub. When the other man came out, they ht him on the head and dragged him in the car. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was like something out of those Hollywood films. Foyle is listening to this. Wright: You know, Jimmy Cagney. "You dirty rat!" Foyle: Did you get a look at the, er, registration plate? Wright: No. I'm sorry. I just wanted to get home. And I didn't see anything very much. Foyle: The King's Head? Wright: We all go in there after work sometimes. It's just down the road. Foyle: Right. Thank you, Miss Wright. He gets up to open the door for her. Wright: I thought it was some sort of joke. But I had to tell someone about it. Foyle: Thank you. Wright: I mean, in Hastings of all places! Whatever next? Foyle: This way. King's Head. Milner is there to question Ted Roberts. Ted: There were three of them. Er, Archer, Hammond, and Jonesy. I had a right go at him. Expecting me to give him change of a fiver! Milner: He gave you a £5 note? Ted: Yeah. His old aunt. Must have left him the yacht and the castle an' all. It wasn't that so much. He looked really upset about something. I reckon they had a barney. Then he got up and left. Never even finished his pint. Milner: Thank you. Talbot shipyard. Joanne Mason is doing some welding alongside another woman. Gwen Rivers walks past with her welding mask up and catches a spark in the eye. Gwen: Ow! She passes behind Joanne. Gwen: Sorry. Joanne sets her welding torch down and goes after her. Joanne: You okay? Gwen: Yeah. Just a spark. She dabs at her eye with a handkerchief. Joanne: You need to bathe it. D'you want me to go and get you some cold tea? Gwen: No. I'm all right. I'm all right. Gwen goes over to sit down, and Joanne takes the handkerchief from her. Joanne: No. Let me. She spits on it and dabs at Gwen's eye. Joanne: I hate all these new compound welds. Gwen: It's all in the cooling. Joanne: I know. I always leave it too late and the metal gets all lumpy. Is that better? Gwen: Yeah. Cheers. Joanne sits down beside her. Joanne: Hardly worth it, though, is it? Not even three quid a week! Gwen: No. Joanne offers her a cigarette. Gwen: Oh, no, I don't. Thanks. Joanne: I forgot. So, did you hear anything about that business, then? Gwen: What? Joanne: The stuff that was pinched. It was taken from the storeroom. Gwen: Where d'you hear about that? Joanne: Mmm. I dunno. I heard someone saying. They say a policeman was sht. Gwen: Never! Joanne: Your dad's a police sergeant, in't he? Thought you'd know all about it. Gwen: Well, he never talks about his work. Joanne: So you don't know if he's all right, then? Gwen: Who? Joanne: The policeman. Gwen: I didn't even know anyone was sht. Why you asking? Joanne: Just gossip. I hate this place. I was happier at the foundry. Gwen: So, how d'you end up here? Joanne: Like a BF I volunteered. Is your eye all right, then? Gwen: Yeah. Thanks. Joanne: Better get back, then. She goes back to her work. Yard outside sapper headquarters. Foyle and Milner walk along with Hammond. Foyle: You're in one piece. Hammond: Luck of the devil. When I started out in bmb disposal we had an average life of seven weeks. That was nine months ago. Foyle: And you volunteered? Hammond: It may surprise you, but I did. I was in the Nancy Elsie, the Non-Combatant Labour Corps. I was a pacifist. Suppose I still am. But I was a civil engineer before the wr. It occurred to me this was about the only work I could do without compromising what I believed in. The three of them head into the building and up a flight of stairs. Foyle: And what about Jones? Hammond: He fell into it by accident. He wanted to join the Royal Engineers because he thought it would be safe. Mending bridges, that sort of a thing. Nasty surprise when they transferred him here. Milner: And do you have any idea where he might be? Hammond: None at all. Milner: Where does he live? Hammond: He's billeted here. His bed wasn't slept in. Milner: And, er, does he have another address? Is there a wife, or, er, parents? Hammond: His parents are in Cumbria I think. He has no lady friend. Poor Ernest got banged about a bit. He's not very sociable. Foyle: Meaning? The three of them enter the bunk room. Hammond: Well, he and another sapper, a chap called McClaren, were digging up a bmb buried in an allotment just the other side of Hastings. Ernest went to get a glass of water, and just as he walked away, there was one hell of a bang, and he was thrown about twelve feet into the air. We don't know how it happened. He wasn't hurt except for his eardrums. He can still hardly hear, but I suppose he was lucky. We never found anything of McClaren. Foyle: Two men were seen dragging, er, Jones into a car last night. Hammond: I don't believe it. Milner: There was a witness. It happened just outside The King's Head. Hammond: Why Ernest? There couldn't be any reason. I'm sure you've got the wrong man. He's probably out walking on the beach or something. He'll show up. Police station. Gwen is at the front desk. Sergeant Rivers comes out from the back. Rivers: Gwen! What are you doing here? Gwen: Hello, Dad. Rivers: Everything all right? Gwen: Yeah. Um, I was wondering if Sam was around. Rivers: You shouldn't be bringing private matters into the station. Gwen: It's nothing to do with the wedding. Rivers: Have you seen Jack? Gwen: No. Look, I think I might be able to help. This business down at the shipyard. Rivers: What do you know about that? Gwen: What Sam told me. Rivers: Then she's been talking out of turn. Gwen: Dad- Sam (offscreen): Gwen! Gwen turns round to see Sam arriving with Foyle and Milner. Gwen: Sam, thank goodness you're here. The two of them hug. Rivers: Excuse me, sir. This is my daughter Gwendoline. Foyle: Ah. Getting married, is that right? Gwen: Yes. Foyle: Congratulations. Gwen: Thank you, Mr Foyle. I'm a bit nervous. Foyle: I'm not surprised. Gwen: Um, I wonder if I could have a word? Foyle: Yes, of course. Foyle's office. Gwen sits in the office with Foyle, Milner and Sam. Gwen: Her name's Joanne Mason. She never really speaks to me, but this time she was being really pally, asking me questions. She was asking me about that policeman who was sht. Foyle gestures to Milner. Foyle: This is him. Gwen: Oh. Are you all right? Milner: I was lucky. Gwen: Oh. Well, she didn't know that. Well, she was asking me questions about Dad, if he knew anything. Sam had told me you were after someone who'd been thieving, but it's funny, because Joanne knew the stuff had come from the storeroom. Well, I didn't know that. No one did. So that set me thinking. How could she know? Foyle: She have, erm, a husband or boyfriend working at the yard? Gwen: Hmm. I don't really know her that well. But I have seen her with a man a couple of times. Milner: Can you describe him? Gwen: Medium height. Quite dark skin. Greying hair. He's got a sort of crooked nose. Foyle looks at Milner, who nods. Foyle: Right. Thank you. Street outside the Mason house. Sam, Foyle and Milner pull up outside in the car. Milner: So, real name William Mason. Three months hard labour for aggravated burglary and asault. Two spells in Borstal. He's been in and out of trouble all his life. Foyle: You should stay in the car, don't you think? Sam: Yes, sir. Foyle and Milner get out. Foyle knocks on the front door. Inside. Joanne approaches the door as they knock again. Mason hides away in the walk-in larder. Outside. Joanne opens the door. Foyle: Mrs Mason? Joanne: Yes. Foyle: Can I have a word with your husband, please? Joanne: He's not here. Who are you? Foyle: Erm, the name's Foyle. I'm a policeman. Joanne: I haven't seen Bill for a while. He's gone away. Inside, Mason loses his nerves and bolts out of the larder. Milner rushes past Joanne into the house. Joanne: No! You leave him alone! Mason goes out the back door and runs along behind the houses. As he reaches the gate at the end, his path is blocked by a uniformed policeman. Mason throws a dustbin into his path and runs back the other way. Policeman: Oh, blast! As Mason reaches the gate at the other end, he's grabbed by Milner. The two of them wrestle for a moment, but Milner manages to pin him down. Police station. Mason is brought in, handcuffed, followed by Joanne. A policeman shoves him in the back. Policeman: Move! As they walk through into the back, Foyle and Milner arrive at the front desk. Rivers: Everything all right, sir? Foyle: Certainly is, Rivers. Rivers: Well, I'm sorry to spoil it for you, sir, but, er, you've got a visitor. Assistant Commissioner Rose, sir. He's back. Foyle: Right. Thank you. Foyle's office. Rose is sitting at the desk reading a newspaper as Foyle enters. Rose: Ah. There you are, Foyle. Foyle: Back again, sir? What can I do for you? Rose: It's clear you have completely disregarded my direct orders. Foyle: Have I? Rose: I asked you to investigate Raymond Carter. Foyle: I have. Rose: From I hear you had a cosy lunch with him. That's not the same thing. Foyle: Well, nothing to investigate. Rose: I beg to differ. I've just visited the Talbot brothers. Foyle: Oh, have you? Yes, I've seen them a couple of times, too. Rose: What you saw them about, Foyle, is neither here nor there. While you've been rummaging about in their store cupboards they're facing up to a series of strikes which could paralyse their shipyard! A shop steward called Derek Woodgate has been in talks with Carter. Their combined Bolshie efforts could bring a, a vital industry to a virtual standstill. Foyle: They have that much influence? Rose: Just remember, please, the Communists are just as much our enemies as the nzi. Now, I want you to drop whatever it is you're doing and deal with this man. Find out about his associates. And while you're about it, search his room. Foyle: His hotel room? Rose: Where else? Foyle: Why? Rose: We have to find the evidence. Regulation 18B. Detention without charge. Foyle: I'm aware of the regulation. Rose: Well, use it! He goes to leave just as Sam arrives at the door. Sam: Oh! Rose: Who are you? Sam: Samantha Stewart, sir. Mr Foyle's driver. Rose: Ridiculous. He leaves. Sam: Sorry to interrupt, sir. Foyle: Not at all. Glad you did. Sam: I brought you the information on the British watercolourists. Foyle: Right. Thank you. She leaves. Run-down warehouse. Milner looks up at the hole the bmb left in the roof. He spots some balls of plastic explsive and offcuts of wire left behind by the sappers and goes over to look. He picks up some of the plastic explsive and gives it a sniff. Regent Hotel. Foyle is in a lounge off the reception area with Carter and two uniformed policemen. Foyle: I wonder if you'd mind telling me what you'd be doing with these? Carter: What are they? Foyle: They're photographs of Talbot's Shipyard. Carter: What has this got to do with me? Foyle: Well, we just found them in your room. Carter: You searched my room? Foyle: Mmm. Carter: This sort of work does you no credit at all, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Well, I'd agree with you. Carter: I've never seen these in my life. Foyle: I see. Erm, being in possession of, er, photographs like these in normal circumstances would lead to an arrest. Carter: That why you placed them there? Foyle: Er, but as it is I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Carter: You're not going to arrest me? Foyle: No. Thank you. He and the policemen leave. Outside the Talbot shipyard. Derek Woodgate stands speaking to a group of men. Derek: They've got pits production committees in the mines, haven't they? Man: That's true. Derek: Then why not yard committees here? Just because there's a wr on doesn't mean you can't have a voice. No, it's because of the wr, isn't it, that the management doesn't want to listen. There are murmurs of agreement from the crowd. Derek: Let me tell you something. We're gonna have a committee. We're going to have one here. Foyle stands a short distance back, listening. Derek: And they're going to listen! Man: That's right! Crowd: Yeah! Derek: Thank you very much. Foyle waits for Derek as the crowd disperses. Foyle: Derek Woodgate? Derek: Yes. Foyle: How d'you do? The name's Foyle. I'm a policeman. Derek: I saw you at the hotel, didn't I? Foyle: Yeah, that's right. You were with, er, Raymond Carter. Derek: That's right. What can I do for you? Foyle: Er, would you have given him any, um, photographs? Photographs of this dockyard? Derek: And why would I do that, Mr Foyle? It was a personal meeting. Foyle: Was the meeting related to, erm, your work at all here? Derek: Not really. I went to see him because I admire what he does. Foyle: You a member of the People's Convention? Derek: Yes. Foyle: I understand you're a shop steward here? Derek: That's right. Foyle: Yeah. How many, um, union members have you got here, then? Derek: In the shipyard? 143. Foyle: So what, about half the workforce? Derek: Your maths isn't up to very much, Mr Foyle. There are just over 200 people at Talbot's. 70% are with me. Foyle: Right. Does the name, um, Ian Kimble mean anything to you? Derek: No. Foyle: William Mason? Derek: Yeah. I've heard of him. He's in Supplies. Foyle: What about these? He gives Derek a sheet of paper. Derek: Er... Mark Kelly. Des Parker. I know both of those. Never heard of the others. Why? Foyle: Right. No, that's it. Thank you. He turns to go. Derek: Oh, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Yep. Derek: Are you paid to do this? Foyle: Yep. Derek: So are we. So are the Talbots. They might pretend they're doing it for the wr, but they're raking it in. They make us work all hours. They bring women in to do the same jobs as us at half the rate. They got orders coming in left and right. But they're not doing it for the wr. Oh, no. They're doing it to get rich. You should remember that, Mr Foyle. Foyle: I will. Derek: Good day to you. They both walk away. Gwen and Jack stand together in a park. Gwen: What? Jack: Look, there's something I want to talk to you about. It's awkward. I can't go into details. Gwen: You've changed your mind. You don't want to go ahead with it. Jack: No! Gwen: Well, what, then? Jack: I haven't changed my mind. I still love you. It's just... we're gonna have to think about postponing it. Gwen: The wedding? You're not serious. We can't! Jack: Look, something's happened. Something good. I mean, I did it for you, and if it works out you and me will be set up for life. Gwen: You're not making any sense, Jack. Jack: I'm not supposed to talk about it. Gwen: Says who? Jack: Captain Hammond. Still haven't found Ernest. Gwen: Didn't know he'd scarpered. Jack: He hasn't. He's disappeared. Gwen: When? Jack: Look, I just want you to think about it, that's all, postponing. Gwen: I won't think about it. Jack: We may have to. I want to be with you, Gwen, you know I do. It's just... right now it's out of my hands. Gwen: Jack, you're frightening me. Jack: It'll be fine. I love you. It'll work out in the end. He draws her into a hug. Sapper headquarters. Two men walk through the yard and lift the cloth covering the back of a lorry. Inside, Ernie's dad body hangs suspended from a hook. There's a cigarette burn on the side of his face. Sapper: Bloody hell! Mr Hammond, sir! The two of them run towards the building. Police station. Foyle walks towards his office with Milner. Foyle: You sure Mason worked on his own? Milner: Yes, sir. Certainly looks like that. Foyle: And his wife? Milner: You know, she was working at Talbot's as well. Foyle: Yeah, well, that, er, does seem that's where everything begins and ends. Milner: Yes, sir. They enter Foyle's office and Milner closes the door. Milner: And I went back to the warehouse. Foyle: Yep? Milner: There was nothing in there. Mark Talbot was telling the truth. But I found these next to the crater. He tips the balls of plastic explsive out from an envelope. Foyle: It's explsive. Milner: Mmm. That's what I thought. I presume it's German. Just seems strange to me. Foyle: That the Engineers should have left it behind? Milner: Mmm. It's a bit clumsy. And it means they must have dismantled the bmb when they were there. I thought they just removed the fuse and blew it up later. Foyle: Hmm. There's a knock on the door. Foyle: Yes? Sergeant Rivers enters. Rivers: Sir... Sapper headquarters. Foyle and Milner enter the bunk room, where Ernie's body has been laid out a bunk. Hammond and a uniformed policeman stand by. Foyle examines the body, which has more cigarette burns on the hands and chest. Milner: Cigarette burns. Foyle: Looks like it. The two of them and Hammond walk out together. Hammond: I can't understand it. Poor Ernest. Foyle: Who'd want to do that to him, do you think? Hammond: I really don't know. Maybe he was gambling. Maybe he was seeing somebody's wife. There are a dozen men here. He was just one of them. Foyle: Tell me about the bmb at the dockyard. The three of them emerge into the yard outside. Hammond: It was a Herman. We give them names. Fritz is 1,400 kilograms. Herman is 1,000. Had a single fuse, and probably wasn't meant to blow up at once. The Jerries do it on purpose now. They've realised that a UXB causes more havoc and disruption than a simple bang, plus there's the uncertainty of it. Undermining civilian morale. A pair of sappers step aside to let them past. Sapper: Sir. Hammond: A wr of nerves. Foyle: You defused it? Hammond: We had no choice. It was A1 category. Immediate disposal essential. Detonation of the bmb in situ unacceptable in any terms. Foyle: But you opened it up. Hammond: What makes you say that? Milner holds up the plastic explsive and Hammond takes it. Hammond: You've been back. The shell casing had split. This probably leaked out. He hands it back. Foyle: Where is it now? Hammond: We blew it up. Few miles down the coast. He walks away. Sam, Foyle and Milner drive away. Hammond waves at the car as they go, then turns back. He finds Jack waiting in the shadows behind him. Jack: So what you gonna do? You have to tell them. Hammond: I'm afraid it's rather too late for that, Jack. You know that as well as I do. We're just going to have to do what we do best. Keep our nerve. Rivers house. Gwen sits at the table with Sam. Gwen: I don't know what's wrong with him. He's never been like that before. Sam: It was probably last-minute nerves. Gwen: What, postponing the wedding? Sam: Maybe it had something to do with Sapper Jones. Gwen: Ernest? What about him? Sam: Of course, you haven't heard. Gwen: What? Sam: I'm afraid he was klled. Gwen: What? Sam: It happened last night, I think. Gwen: A bmb? Sam: No. It was rather worse than that. Mr Foyle is having to investigate. It looks as though he may have been mrder. Gwen: Jack knew something was wrong. That's what he was trying to tell me. Sam: D'you think Jack could be involved? Gwen: Sam, you must promise me you mustn't say anything to Mr Foyle or to my dad. Sam: I don't know, Gwen. Gwen: I've known Jack all my life. He would never do anything wrong. Sam: I don't know what's going on, Gwen. I really don't. But I hope you're right. The door opens and Sam stands up as Rivers enters. Sam: Mr Rivers. Rivers: You've heard, then? I don't understand it. People klling each other in wartime! Doesn't make any sense. And to do that to a man who's a blinking hero! Well, don't you worry, my love. We'll find whoever did it. Mr Foyle will. I can promise you that. Talbot shipyard. Peter (offscreen): Where is it? Hammond (offscreen): You klled Ernest Jones. He and the Talbot brothers are walking along together. Mark: We did nothing of the sort. Peter (offscreen): Where is it? Hammond: I should tell you now, if I'm not back in my barracks unharmed in exactly twenty minutes from now your money goes up in flames. Mark: So where is the money? Hammond: Where did you get it? What was it doing there? Peter: That's our business. Hammond: You're thieves. Mark: There is only one thief round here, Captain Hammond. Hammond: All right, let's get to the point, shall we? I appreciate now I shouldn't have taken the money. I'm prepared even to give it back. Mark: Very sensible. Hammond: But I have to be sure I won't end up like Jones. Mark: Why should we want to harm you? We just want what's ours. Hammond: All right. I'll return it to you. Minus £250. £100 for me. £100 for Archer. £50 for Jones's mother. Something to bury him with. Mark: Sorry. Why should we pay you anything? Hammond: It buys my silence. At least I get something out of this. And there's so much there you're not going to notice it. Mark: All right. Agreed. So where is the money? Hammond: I'll call you tomorrow. I'll take the money somewhere safe. It'll just be me and a suitcase. Fair enough. Mark: Right. Hammond: Right. Better go. Archer's waiting for me. He walks away, and the Talbots watch him go. Mark: Hmm. Foyle's office. Rose looks round as the door opens. Rose: Foyle. Foyle (offscreen): Sir. Rose: Progress? Foyle: Er, yes. I'm now in the middle of a mrder enquiry. Rose: I'm talking about progress into the Carter investigation. Foyle: Well, his, um, business, his politics, his whereabouts are of no interest to me. Neither is your involvement with him. Rose: How dare you speak to me like that. Foyle: I don't like my time being wasted and I don't like my staff being manipulated, especially when in this case it's, er, for your own personal ends. Rose: What the hell are you talking about? Foyle: When you asked me to look into this, er, his presence here you, um, you first of all knew a heck of a lot more than you were telling me. Rose: I often know more than I tell you, Foyle. Foyle: And vice versa, Commissioner. You told me he'd booked into the Regency with his fiancée Lucinda Sheridan. Rose: Which he had. Foyle: They hadn't. They didn't make a reservation till the following day, and, er, though in fact Miss Sheridan and he are not yet in fact married, the reservation was made in the names of Mr and Mrs Carter. Miss Sheridan also, er, already knew I was a policeman. Would she have got that from you? Rose: How would she get that from me? Foyle: Well, she's your daughter. Although, er, according to her CV she paints under the name of Sheridan, her actual name is in fact Lucinda Rose. And I would imagine that her marriage to this man is, erm, something you wouldn't necessarily approve of. Rose sits down. Rose: Well, that's entirely irrelevant. Foyle: Is it? I won't ask how the, er, photographs of the shipyard came to be in his room. Rose: What are you implying? Foyle: If he's in jail, he can't marry your daughter. Rose: I asked you to investigate Raymond Carter for pre- for precisely the reasons I told you. The man's a, a genuine danger to the wr effort. It's quite wrong of you to think otherwise. I admit there is a... a personal connection which perhaps I should have mentioned. My daughter can be very wayward. And I, I genuinely believe that this... this man will lead her further astray. Foyle: She seems very happy with him. Rose: Well, that's none of your business. Foyle: Well, precisely my feeling, which is where I think we came in. Rose stands up to go. Rose: My daughter no longer speaks to me, Foyle. She, she changed her name because she didn't want to have anything to do with me. But I still care about her. Still worry about her. You have a son? Foyle: Yes. Rose: How would you feel if he wanted to marry a traitor? He raises his eyebrow, and Foyle nods. Sapper headquarters, bunk room. Jack walks out to join Hammond, who's just closing a suitcase. Jack: Captain Hammond, sir, you shouldn't go. Hammond: You're absolutely right there, Jack. I shouldn't. But thinking it through I can't come up with any alternative. Jack: You could go to the police. Hammond: I could, of course. But I don't fancy spending the rest of the wr on the treadmill at Reading Jail. Don't suppose you're familiar with the work of Oscar Wilde? Jack: What? Hammond: Never mind. It's, er... Look, if this works, you have nothing to worry about. In fact, even if it doesn't work, you shouldn't have too much of a problem. You can always say I ordered you. He heads off with the suitcase. Jack: Captain! Hammond: Forget it, Jack. And remember, keep mum, least for the next few hours. 2:30 it will all be over. Jack: We shouldn't have done it, sir. Hammond stops walking. Jack: We should never have done it. Hammond: Yes. The joys of hindsight. We should never have done it, you're right. But it was one of those once-in-a-lifetime moments, wasn't it? I have no family, no wife. It's not so bad for me. But poor Ernest. And you. He leaves the building. Foyle's office. Foyle is at his desk, contemplating the balls of plastic explsive. There's a knock at the door and Milner enters. Milner: Sir. The two men who supposedly worked in the storeroom at Talbot's, John Richards and Tim Wilcox. Now I know why nobody knew them. Foyle: Because they're dad? Milner: They both died as children. Foyle: Right. I think... we've got to pay another visit to Captain Hammond. Sappers headquarters. Foyle and Milner are in the yard, where Jack is working on one of the vehicles. Foyle: Where's Captain Hammond? Jack: He's not here. Foyle: That's not what I asked. Jack: I dunno where he is. He left about an hour ago. Foyle: You're getting married soon, aren't you? Jack: Yeah. Next week. Foyle: It would be nice if you were there, wouldn't it? See, there's not gonna be any wedding if you don't do a little better than this, 'cause we're gonna have to arrest you for withholding information, and that's a probable prison sentence. Jack: I haven't done anything. Foyle: Well, good. Where's Captain Hammond? Jack: I've got nothing to say to you, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Right. Well, I'm sorry. Milner: Jack Archer, you're under arrest. Come on. They lead him back to the car where Sam stands waiting. Police station interview room. Foyle: Where's the money? Jack sits silent at the table. Foyle: Where's the money? Jack: What money? Foyle: The money you stole from the shipyard. Jack stays silent. Foyle glances at Milner, who's also observing. Foyle: See, the people whose money it is now want it back, understandably. Ernest Jones has been klled because presumably he wouldn't tell them where it was. You and Hammond are next on the list, so wouldn't it be sensible to tell us first so we can get to them before they get to you? Where's Captain Hammond? Where's Captain Hammond? Is he with the Talbots? Front desk. Sam sits smoking alongside Rivers. Foyle walks in. Foyle: Sergeant. Rivers: Mr Foyle, sir, I can't believe this has happened. Sir, Jack wouldn't get mixed up in something like this. He doesn't think straight sometimes. No lads do these days, but his heart's in the right place. Sam: Are you sure you're not mistaken, sir? Foyle: Yes, I am. Listen, I know this is a very difficult situation for you. Rivers: No. Foyle: But would we have a better chance of getting anything out of him if your daughter came over and had a word with him? What do you think? Rivers: He might listen to her, sir, but I'm not sure she'd listen to me. I, I can ask her. Sam: Er, I know here pretty well. Why don't I have a word with her? Foyle: Good idea. Off you go. Sam leaves and Rivers picks up the telephone. A country lane. Hammond is driving along with the suitcase in the back of the car. Talbot shipyard. Gwen shuts off her welding torch. Gwen: You've arrested him? Sam: Not me, Mr Foyle! Gwen: You promised me you weren't gonna tell him what I told you Sam: I didn't! Gwen: So why have they arrested him? Sam: Gwen, Jack knows something. We have to find out what it is. Gwen: Is he going to prison? Sam: I don't know. But it'll be worse for him if he doesn't help. Gwen: And you think I can persuade him? Sam: We think he'll listen to you. Come on. Gwen: Right, I'll talk to him, but after this is over, Sam, I never want to see you again. I thought you were my friend. She walks off and Sam chases after her. Sam: Gwen! Gwen! Wait. Police station. Sam holds the door open for Gwen to enter the reception area. Rivers stands up as she arrives. Rivers: Gwen. Gwen: It doesn't matter, Dad. Foyle steps out from the back. Foyle: Thanks for coming. He's through here. He leads her into the back. Rivers exchanges a look with Sam. Interview room. Gwen sits with Jack while Milner and Foyle wait outside. Jack: You shouldn't have come here. Gwen: I had to, Jack. You've got to tell them want they want to know. Jack: I can't. Gwen: They're gonna put you in prison. Do you understand that? Forget what Captain Hammond told you. You've got to think of you and me. Please, Jack. Country lane. Hammond is still driving. Interview room. Jack is speaking to Foyle and Milner as Gwen looks on. Jack: All right. There was part of this building. A machine shop. It's condemned. "Dangerous Structure, Keep Out!" All that. And it was in there. Gwen: What was? Jack: Money. More money than you'd believe. Enough money to set us up for life. It was easy. We opened up the bmb, took the explsive out, stuffed the notes inside and carried it out under everyone's noses. Foyle: So, where's the explsive now? Hammond said you, er, detonated it along the coast somewhere. Is that not the case? Jack: We never detonate nothing. He's got the bmb. He's got the money. He's gone to see the Talbots, hasn't he? Foyle: Where? Farmyard. A fancy car sits parked in the muddy yard. Hammond drives up and parks beside it. Country lane. Sam, Foyle and Milner are driving along. Sam: But where did the money come from, sir? Foyle: Well, the Talbots have been claiming wages for about 400 people from the Ministry for Shipping, when in fact they've only got about half that number working for them. Sam: What? Hammond: They've been embezzling hundreds of pounds. That's what Jack Archer and his friends found in the warehouse. Sam: What will they do with him, sir? Will they put him in jail? Foyle: Depend on the circumstances. Farm. Hammond makes his way through a group of abandoned buildings with the suitcase. He enters a barn where Mark Talbot sits waiting for him on a bale of hay. Peter steps out of the shadows. Mark: Is that the money? Hammond: No, I thought I'd bring along my dirty washing. Thought you might like to clean it for me. Peter: I don't think you should be funny with us. Hammond: Why not? The way this wr's been going, we all need a sense of humour, wouldn't you say? Mark: Show us. Hammond: All in good time. He sets the suitcase down. Hammond: I'm not a dishonest man. Least, I used not to be. But I thought why not? You see, you've gotta see this from my point of view. My men and I, we've been cannon fodder. Precious little training. No support. In the early days we even had to hitch lifts in civilian cars. And how do we find out how the Germans make their bmb? We wait till one of us gets blown up. Tells us all we need to know. I'll tell you something that may surprise you. Man who invented the electric fuse was a Jerry called Ruhlemann, and he was in London just before the wr. He even went to an air show and was shown plane factories. He was probably sizing them up. He was a guest of honour. And we're mincemeat. That's how it is. So why not help ourselves? The opportunity of a lifetime, that's how I saw it. My lifetime. Probably wasn't going to be all that long. Mark: I think we've listened to you for long enough, Captain Hammond. He stands up. Peter: Give us the money. Hammond looks round as two more men enter. Hammond: I thought we were meeting alone. Which one of you klled Ernie Jones? One of the men glances towards his partner, who raises a gn. Hammond: Then I'm very glad you're here. He turns to look at the Talbots. Hammond: You were lying to me. You never were just gonna just take back the money, were you? Mark: Well, what would you have done, Captain Hammond? Hammond: That's what I thought. The man with the gn sht him from behind and he collapses over the suitcase. Outside. Sam, Foyle and Milner are just arriving in the car. As Foyle and Milner get out, they hear the sound of the gn. Inside. Hammond looks up, blood leaking from his mouth. Hammond: Aren't you gonna count it? Peter walks up and undoes the suitcase. The barn explodes. Outside, Foyle, Sam and Milner watch it go up in flames. Regency Hotel lounge. Foyle brings Sam and Milner drinks. Sam: This is very kind of you, sir. Foyle: Well, I thought so. She laughs. Sam: Oh. I've been meaning to ask you something, sir. Um, the money. It wasn't blown up, was it? Milner: No. Hammond had it in his quarters. Sam: So what did you do with it? Foyle: We sent it back. Sam: To the government? Foyle: What would you have done with it? Sam: Well, I might have kept some. Gwen could have used it for her wedding. Foyle: Well, not ours to keep exactly. Milner: And she's lucky she's still getting married. Sam: I suppose so. D'you know, I was crossed off the guest list? Carter and Lucinda hurry down the staircase behind them. Carter: Mr Foyle. What brings you here? Not me, I hope. Foyle: No, no, no. Um, malt whisky, getting harder and harder to find. Carter: Er, forgive me interrupting. I just wanted to say goodbye. Foyle: Well, I'm not surprised you're leaving. Lucinda: It's wonderful news. Foyle: Isn't it? Sam: What? What happened? Milner: The Germans have invde Russia. Sam: Have they? Carter: It was on the wireless this morning. Churchill has promised to help the Russian people, so it seems we're on the same side. Lucinda: It's a turning point. They say Stalin has over seven million men. Carter: htler's overreached himself. I promise you, the wr can't last much longer. We're going back to London. Good luck to you. He shakes hands with Foyle. Foyle: And to you. Lucinda: Goodbye. Sam: Bye. Carter and Lucinda leave. Sam: Can it be possible? The end of the wr? Foyle: Be nice to think so. Sam: Well, I'm going to drink to it anyway. Over by Christmas? Milner: They said that last Christmas. Sam: All right, then. New Year. Foyle: New Year. The three of them clink their glasses together.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "03x04 - A w*r Of Nerves"}	foreverdreaming
Wheatsheaf pub, Hilton village. Doctor Mark Rogers and another man sit in silence with their beers, reading. CAPTION: MARCH 1942 Outside. The village is quiet. An old woman walks to the cemetery carrying a bunch of flowers. A little boy sits on the kerb, playing with the straw and fallen leaves at the edge of the road. He looks up at the sound of engines. A convoy of US military vehicles approach, led by a Jeep containing Captain John Kieffer, Sergeant Jack O'Connor, and two privates, Joe Farnetti and James Taylor. The little boy stands up and runs. Boy: The Jerries are here! The Jerries are here! The lead Jeep comes to a halt as the old woman with the flowers crosses the road in front of it. Farnetti: How you doin', ma'am? It's okay. We're here to bat the Krauts. She steps out of the way and they drive on. A young woman, Susan Davies, watches them approaching. The lead Jeep stops beside her. Kieffer: Er, excuse me, miss, we're lost. Could you tell us the way to Hawthorn Cross, please? Susan: Well, you can't get through that way. You'll have to go back the way you came. Kieffer: Thank you, miss. Turn her around, will you? We've gotta go back. Taylor stands up to point at Susan. Farnetti wolf-whistles as they make the turn. Kieffer: Ah, knock it off, you guys, will you? We're meant to be guests here. Susan watches the convoy drive off, then heads into the Wheatsheaf. Doctor Rogers is still sitting reading, and another man, Harold Grayson, is at the bar. The landlord, Alan Carter, steps out from the back. Carter: Susan? Where have you been, then? You're late. Susan: Haven't you seen? The doughboys are here. Carter: What? Susan: Just now, outside. Didn't you hear 'em? Carter: Doughboys? Rogers: They'll be on their way up to Hawthorn Cross. So it's true, then? Susan: What? Rogers: The airfield. Susan: What airfield? Rogers: Ah, you'll see soon enough. Harold: Americans. Late for the last one, late joining this one. I'll have another. Hawthorn Cross. Farnetti hits a baseball. GI (offscreen): Good sht, Farnetti! Farnetti: Oh-ho! Sergeant O'Connor leans against the Jeep as Kieffer surveys the site Kieffer: There it is. What do you think? O'Connor: Mud. Kieffer: That all you got to say? O'Connor: What else is there to say? We're how many feet above sea level? You tell me, Captain. Kieffer: So? O'Connor: Oh, come on. It's been raining for three weeks. Drainage? You forget about it. You try to land a Ford here, it'll disappear. Farnetti: Captain? He points at something behind Kieffer. Barrett (offscreen): You're on my land. This is my land. Farmer David Barrett approaches them with a gn. Kieffer: Hi. I'm John Kieffer, 215th Engineers. Barrett: You're on my land. Kieffer: Now get back in that... whatever you want to call it and get off my land! Barrett: Sir, er, this is Hawthorn Cross, right? I'm afraid we have a requisition order. You should have received the papers. Barrett: I've received nothing. Now, I shan't tell you a third time. Farnetti: Can't you tell this guy we're on the same side? Kieffer: Stow it, Joe. With all due respect, sir, I really don't think you should be thrat us like this. Barrett sh*t out the windscreen of the Jeep. Kieffer: Okay, okay, we're leaving. Farnetti: Yeah, all right, okay. Kieffer: But, er, you shouldn't have done that. We'll be back. OPENING CREDITS Wheatsheaf pub, night. Milner sits at a table with Will Grayson. Will: I thought you were a goner at Trondheim. Milner: It was close. Will: It was a mess. Milner: If it wasn't for you... Will: Forget it. You're well out of it, mate. Believe me. I just wish I could join you. After Trondheim there was Namsos. Then France, now Africa. It's never gonna bloody end. Milner: How's Perry? Will: Jack Perry? You didn't hear? He went west. Milner: No. I didn't hear. Will: Benghazi, poor sod. Come on. Have another one. They both stand up. Milner: No. Will: I've got to go. I've had enough of this beer. How about a Scotch? Milner: You'll be lucky. Will: Things are that bad? Milner: I'll walk home with you. Will: No, I'm staying. I'll see you around. Milner: It's been good to see you. Milner leaves and Will approaches Susan at the bar. Will: I'll have another. Susan looks around and then moves closer. Susan: Were you wanting Scotch? Grayson house. Harold Grayson sits dozing in a chair by the fre. He sits up at the sound of the door. Harold: Will? Will: Dad. You still up? Harold: I waited up for you. Will: Well, I'm here. Harold: Been boozing? Will: Yes. Harold: That's the third night in a row. Will: I was down at the Wheatsheaf. I saw Paul Milner. Harold: Do I know him? Will: I was with him in Norway. He's a policeman now. I'm off to kip. Harold: You're only here for a week. I've hardly seen you. Will: I'm here tomorrow. You'll see me then. Davies house. Susan wheels her bike back and goes in. Her father, Stan Davies, is waiting in the kitchen. Susan: Dad! What you doing up this late? Stan: What do you think I'm doing? I'm waiting for you. Susan: I'm all right. Stan: You shouldn't be out this late, not on your own. You know how your mother and me worry about you. Susan: Dad, I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Stan: Working all the hours down that pub. You should never have left Benson's. Susan: Dad... The telephone rings. Stan: What's that now? He answers the phone. Stan: Hello. Stan Davies speaking. His wife Mary comes down the stairs. Mary: Stan, who is it? Stan: Shh. Yep. Right. Yeah, I know it, yeah. All right, I'm on my way. He hangs the phone up. Mary: What's happened? Stan: There's a fre in Market Street. I've got to go over. Mary: At this time of night? It's not a raid, is it? He starts getting into his warden's uniform. Stan: Now, come on, love, these things don't happen by the clock. I have to go. You go back to bed. And Susan, you get in yours. You need to rest yourself. Susan: I'm on my way. Night, Dad. Stan: Goodnight, and don't wait up. He leaves. Mary: You're very late. Susan: Oh, don't start on me, Mum. Mary: I never know what you're up to any more. Susan: What makes you think I'm up to anything? Here. Take this. No need to tell Dad. Just, er, go out and get yourself something nice. She gives her mother some money. Mary: This is ten bob. Where d'you get this? Susan: Er, tips. She kisses her mother on the cheek. Mary gives a pleased laugh. They both go up the stairs. Police station. Sergeant Ian Brooke waits at the front desk. He turns at the sound of the door opening. Brooke: Good morning, sir. Foyle and Sam enter. Foyle: Morning. Sergeant Brooke? Brooke: Yes, sir. You must be Mr Foyle. Foyle: That's right. They shake hands. Brooke: Very good to meet you, sir. Er, I've just been transferred from London. Deptford Green. Er, I wasn't too keen to be sent here, to be honest. Foyle: Oh? Brooke: It's a bit out in the sticks. Sam: I'm Sam Stewart. Brooke: Nice to meet you, miss. They shake hands. Foyle: Anything else? Brooke: Not really, sir. Oh, actually, sir, there was a fre last night in, erm, in Hilton Village. Nothing suspicious, though. Local lads say it was started by a spark from the fireplace. Your sergeant, Mr Milner, he's gone over there. Foyle: Has he? Brooke: Yes, and there's a gentleman waiting for you, sir. I didn't know what to do with him, so I put him in your office. Name of Kieffer. Captain. He's a Yank. Sam: Have the Americans arrived in Hastings? Foyle: Er, looks like one of them has. Sam: D'you know, I've never actually seen an American. Except in the films. Brooke: Jimmy Cagney! All cowboys or gangsters. Sam: I was thinking more of Clark Gable. Foyle raises his eyebrows. Brooke: Oh, yeah? Foyle's office. Brooke: Erm, you've, er, had a problem or two at, er, Hawthorn Cross, is that right? Kieffer: Ah, look, Mr Foyle, I don't want to get the guy into any trouble. I mean, er, you know, if I go to my people they're gonna come down on him like gangbusters. So, I thought if I came to someone local... Foyle: And who are we talking about? Kieffer: Er, this, er, farmer, Barrett. David Barrett. Well, you know, I can understand why he's upset. You know his family have owned that place since, gee, I don't know, Queen Whoever. But I'm beginning to feel he could be a danger to my men. Foyle: And why's that? Kieffer: Well, first time we went up there he had a gn. Took a pot-sht at one of the Jeeps. And there've been other incidents. Blocking our path with his tractor, snooping around. He won't talk to us. Foyle: And, er, you're building an airfield, is that right? Kieffer: Well, it's on his land. It was requisitioned. Foyle: Well, the, er, the least I can do is talk to him. Kieffer: Thank you very much. Foyle: Is that it? Kieffer: Well, as a matter of fact, er, they've given us this, er, old school as a base. Er, it's a hell of a place. Damp, draughty and stuck in the middle of nowhere and, well, that's my point. I want someone to come and give us a talk. Foyle: A talk on what? Kieffer: The English. None of my boys has ever been out of the States before, and frankly, for some of them, they feel they've landed on another planet. I need someone to come out and tell us what goes on around here. Foyle: Well, like whom? Kieffer: Well, I don't know. A teacher, priest, er, whoever. I don't get a chance to get out and meet many British people. Say, I, I don't suppose, er, you, you'd be interested, would you? Foyle: No. No, no, no. It's, erm- you're right. Not my territory, you know. Kieffer: Okay. Well, listen, er, if you think of anyone, would you let me know? Foyle: I will. Kieffer: You know, until, er, two weeks ago, er, I didn't even know what a kipper was. We need help. Foyle: I can see that. They leave the office. Reception area. Sam is walking through, and draws the attention of Joe Farnetti, standing at the front desk. He dings the bell. Farnetti: Hey, sugar. Sam: I'm sorry, are you talking to me? Farnetti: Well, I don't see anyone else around. Sam: Well, my name's not Sugar. Farnetti: Well, what is it, then? Sam: Can I help you? Farnetti: I'm, er, Joe Farnetti. I'm here to pick up my captain. Sam: Oh. She moves to leave. Farnetti: Are you a cop? Sam: Er, no, not really. Farnetti: Well, you still haven't told me your name. Sam: It's Stewart. Sam Stewart. Farnetti: Sam. As in Samantha? Sam: Yes. Farnetti: Well, how would you like to see a movie with me tonight, Sam Stewart? Sam chuckles. Sam: With you? Farnetti: That's the general idea. Sam: I don't even know you. Farnetti: Well, here's your chance to find out. Sam: And you don't know me, either. Are all you Americans like this? Farnetti: I can't speak for the others. Sam: I'm afraid I'm busy tonight. Farnetti: How about tomorrow night? Kieffer and Foyle arrive in the reception area. Sam: Even busier. Farnetti: Well, I'm here for a lot of nights. Foyle: Everything all right? Sam: Mm-hmm. Kieffer: Mr Foyle, thank you for everything. Let me know how you get on. He shakes hands with Foyle. Foyle: I will. Kieffer: Farnetti. Farnetti: Captain. As Kieffer leaves, Farnetti he turns to wink at Sam Farnetti: I'll be seeing you. He follows Kieffer out and Foyle turns to Sam. Foyle: Clark Gable? Sam shrugs and smiles. Barrett farmhouse. Foyle's car is parked outside. Barrett (voiceover): What do you think I am, Mr Foyle? He's in the dining room with Foyle. Barrett: What are you gonna do, arrest me? Foyle: No, of course not. No. I mean, er, that's the last thing we want. Barrett goes to look out of the window. Barrett: The Yanks. Nobody invited them to come over here. We can win the wr without them. Foyle: Can we? Barrett: They come marching onto my land without so much as a by-your-leave. Foyle: Well, your land, I'm afraid, has been requisitioned by the wr Office, not the Americans, so if you've got any argument, you should take it up with them. Barrett: Oh. So they've got you on their side, then? All right, I, er, took a sht at them. I was wrong to do that, but I've got a temper on me and sometimes I act off the top of my head. I'll pay for the damage if that's what you want. Foyle: No, no, no. Erm, but you should just, erm, leave them alone. Barrett: Oh, that's what I should do, is it? Right, let me show you something. They walk through the fields together. Barrett: My family have been on this land for a hundred years. My dad farmed here and his dad before him. You go back to the Domesday Book, there was a farm here at Hawthorn Cross. Now this. There's gonna be a runway here, petrol dump over there. Water towers, fre stations. I've seen their plans. 120,000 cubic yards of concrete. 400,000 feet of wire. By the time they finish here, well... gonna be nothing left. Foyle: Hastings is in the front line. We can't expect nothing to change. Barrett: I don't expect anything. But let me tell you this. We're worried about htler invading. What's the point? The invasion's happened. They take our land right from under our noses, and you say we can't do nothing about it? We just have to stand there and watch? Well, doesn't make any sense. He turns to walk back towards the farm. Market Street. Stan Davies is still on the scene, along with uniformed police. The fre has been put out and brned furniture brought out into the street. Man: All sorted out yet? Policeman: Right out. Will take some time, though. The roof and upstairs window of the Grayson house is badly blackened. Man: What about the back? Man: Hold on. Policeman: This way, please. A police car drives out and Milner gets out. Milner: Paul Milner. Are you in charge? He shakes hand with Stan Davies. Stan: Stan Davies. Milner: It was a spark from the fre? Stan: That's what they're saying. Caught the bedclothes. The whole lot went up like Crystal Palace. You came over from Hastings? Milner: Yeah. Stan: It's a long way for a little house fre. Milner: I knew the son. Stan: William Grayson. Er, he didn't make it, then? Milner: He died this morning. Stan: I'm sorry. I knew it was bad. Milner: You were here last night? Stan: Yeah. When I arrived it was almost over. Yeah, started in his bedroom. See, the bed is close to the fireplace and the, the blanket must have caught. The door was locked from the inside. We found the key by the bed. He never got to it. Er, I don't know why. There was nothing we could do. Have you spoken to his old man? Milner: Not yet. Er, is it safe to go up? Stan: Yeah, yeah. Just, er, watch yourself on the stairs. Milner heads into the house, passing two policemen at the door. Policeman: Sir. Man (offscreen): You're going up, are you? Stan goes over to the two policemen. Policeman: He's Hastings force. Inside. Milner enters the fre-damaged bedroom, still dripping with water. He sees the keys on the nightstand right next to the bed. He looks at the fireplace, then turns to leave. Foyle's office. Foyle: According to this the fre was, er, started by the bedclothes catching light. I mean, nothing untoward. Milner: I know, sir, but I'd still like to look into it. Over the weekend, in my own time. Foyle: Because...? Milner: At Trondheim when I was wounded he carried me out. And I hadn't seen him since then. I can't believe that he came home and he died like this. Foyle: Well, wr, you know, people die in the strangest circumstances, even heroes. Milner: Yes, but I don't understand why he didn't get out. He'd locked himself in but he could have opened the door. There was a key right beside the bed. Foyle: And why was it locked in the first place? All right. Look into it. Hospital room. Milner sits by Harold Grayson's bedside. Milner: Did you hear him come in? Harold: I saw him. I waited up for him. He'd been drinking. Milner: He'd been drinking with me at the Wheatsheaf. Harold: He'd been drinking every night. It was getting to him, the wr. He, he wasn't himself. Milner: Was he very drunk? Harold: He could barely stand up. What were you drinking? Milner: Just bitter. Harold: Well, he must have had plenty of it. Milner: Why did he lock the door? Harold: I don't know. He had nothing to hide. He'd never locked it before. Milner: So what happened? Harold: Well, I was woken up about an hour later. Twelve-something. I knew something was wrong straight away. Milner: Was it the smoke? Harold: Yeah. I smelled it before I saw it. The whole top floor was alight. When I got up the stairs I tried to open his door. Milner: Wasn't he awake? Harold: Yeah, I banged on the door and he heard me. He shouted to me, "I can't see!" And that's all he said. Then the ceiling in the corridor come down and that's all I remember. They dragged me out but they couldn't get to Will. They couldn't get to him. Briant Brothers, a shop selling fishing tackle. Foyle is approaching the shop just as Kieffer comes out in civilian clothes, holding a fishing rod. Kieffer: Oh, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Good morning, how are you? Kieffer: I'm good, how are you? Foyle: I'm very well. Do you, um...? He gestures towards the shop. Kieffer: Ah, you bet. Er, you too? Foyle: I do. They looking after you in there? Kieffer: Oh, they couldn't have been more helpful. I was dropping in to get some new line. Foyle: You brought this over with you? He gestures to Kieffer's fishing rod. Kieffer: Sure as hell wouldn't leave it behind. Brand new tournament rod. Reuben Leonard. Reverse guard grips. Hooded silver nickel butt cap. Weighs in at four ounces. How about you? Foyle: Well, nothing as grand as that. Hardy Houghton classic split cane. Kieffer: Ten foot? Foyle: Nine-six. Kieffer: Heavy. Foyle: Well, it keeps the bait on the move. Kieffer: Still old-fashioned, though. Foyle: Mmm. Kieffer: How d'you feel about having a go on mine? Foyle: Well, I'd feel very privileged. Kieffer: Well, good. Then maybe we can go up to the river together and, er, I'll swap with you. Mind you, I'd, er, want something in return. Foyle: Oh, yeah? Kieffer: Remember that little talk I mentioned? Still haven't found anyone. Foyle: Oh, really? Kieffer: Brand new Reuben Leonard. Best rod on the market. Foyle: How long would this talk have to be? Kieffer: Well, as long as you'd like it to be. Maybe we could have some dinner afterwards? How about tomorrow night? Foyle: All right. Kieffer: I could send a car. Foyle: No need. I'll get there. He heads into the shop. Kieffer: Hooked. Wheatsheaf. Milner is questioning landlord Alan Carter. Milner: I left Will here. How much more did he have to drink? Carter: I don't know. A couple of pints. He was sober enough when he left. Milner: He was after whiskey. Carter: There is no whiskey. We ran out. Milner: That's what I don't understand. I had a few drinks with him, and with all due respect, the beer here isn't gonna knock anybody out. Carter: I serve a good pint. Milner: But according to his father, he could barely stand when he got home a couple of hours later. Carter: Might have gone somewhere else. There's the King's Head or the Red Lion just down the road. Milner: What time did he leave? Carter: Don't know. Didn't notice. Milner: There was a barmaid working here. Carter: Yeah. Susan. She'll be in this evening. Milner: D'you know where I could find her? Carter: I doubt if she can tell you anything. Milner: I'd still like to speak to her. Carter: I'll get you her address. Hay barn. Taylor (offscreen): Come on... Susan is lying in the hay with Private Taylor, wrestling to get something he's hiding behind his back. She giggles. Susan: What is it? She manages get the package off of him, both of them laughing. Susan: Stockings! I haven't seen a pair of real stockings since, oh, the Christmas before last! Taylor: Christmas before last? I was still in college. Susan: In New York? Oh, tell me about New York. I can't wait to see it. Taylor: Ah, you won't believe it. Susan: Skyscrapers so tall they touch the clouds. Taylor: That's why they're called skyscrapers. Susan: Fifth Avenue. Taylor: Central Park. There's the sound of a gn. Taylor: Shh. Susan: What is it? Another gn. Taylor: It's probably Farmer Giles and his blunderbuss. She laughs, then gives him a kiss. Susan: I love you, James. I love you so much. You're gonna show me everything. And I'm gonna go shopping in Manhattan, I'm gonna see a show on Broadway... Taylor: Whoa. Hold your horses. We got a wr to fight first. No need to be in such a rush. Susan: You weren't exactly slow, Private Taylor. Taylor: Well, a girl like you, I was just lucky to get to you first. Susan: And anyway... We may have less time than you think. Taylor: What do you mean? Susan: What do you think? Taylor: Well, what? Susan: You know... Taylor: No. Tell me. Susan: James, why are you looking at me like that? Taylor: Tell me. Susan: Has anyone told you you've got beautiful hazel eyes? Taylor: Tell me! Susan: Well... Barnett house. Hearing the sound of a door outside, Barnett looks out of the window. He sees Taylor hurrying away from the barn. Susan (offscreen): Jimmy! She stands in front of the barn calling after him. Susan: Jimmy! He leaves and Susan sighs and turns away. Country lane. Sam and Foyle are driving along. Foyle: Well, thanks for giving up your evening. Sam: It's a pleasure, sir. But do I really have to stay? Foyle: I thought you wanted to get to know the Americans? Sam: Well, if the one I met was anything to go by... Foyle: Forward? Sam: Fresh. Foyle: Well, they're a long way from home, fighting a wr they thought had nothing to do with them. It's not any big surprise, is it? They pull up at a barrier in front of the American base. The guard walks over to their car. Sam: DCS Foyle to see Captain Kieffer. She sits back to wait for them to open the barrier. Sam: Have you heard from Andrew, sir? Foyle: No. Sam: Sorry to ask. I just haven't heard any news for a while. Foyle: Well, I'm not sure he's, er, enjoying being an instructor. The guard lifts the barrier and they drive up to the school building. Sam: Missing his Spit. Foyle: Hmm. Sam: Still, I, I'd have thought he'd have written. Foyle: No, er, not recently, but he's due some leave. Kieffer meets them on the front steps as they get out of the car. Kieffer: Hi, I'm John Kieffer. Follow me. They walk into the entrance hall and head up a staircase. Kieffer: Welcome to Saint Preserve Us. Well, that's what some of the guys call this place, anyway. St Mary's All Saints. That the original name of the place, wasn't it? Foyle: Yes, it was a school. Kieffer: Uh-huh. They must have been teaching survival. So, a one-hour talk in the hall then I hope you'll both stay for something to eat. Davies house. Barrett stands in the doorway as Mary does laundry and Stan drinks a cup of tea. The radio is on in the background. Mary: I'll bring these up tomorrow. As long as it doesn't rain. Barrett: Thank you, Mary. Stan: You should get married again. Barrett chuckles. Barrett: I had enough the first time. Stan: I don't know what I'd do without her and that's the truth. Mary: You'd manage perfectly well. Stan: You gonna stop for a cuppa? Barrett: No, no, I'd, I'd best get back. By the way, I've got some news. Ben's on his way. He pulls an envelope out of his pocket. Stan: What? Mary: Why didn't you tell us? Barrett: Well, I only got the telegram this morning. Mary: He's back from Iceland? Barrett: He's in Greenock. Mary: But that's Scotland. Stan: When's he coming? Barrett: Well, he doesn't say. Just says, er, "Arrived safely, coming soon." Mary: Susan'll be thrilled! Barrett: Think so? Mary: Course she will. Barrett: She ever talk about him? Mary: You know how it is with young people these days. The parents are the last to know. Stan: I wish the two of them would get a move on and set a date, give us something to look forward to. Lord Haw-Haw (radio): The Americans never wanted to be part of this wr. And although they're now arriving in Britain, they don't want to be there. They are paid more than the British. They eat more than the British. Barrett: He's right, you know. Stan: What? Lord Haw-Haw? Mary: You're not serious? Stan: I don't even know why we have it on. Barrett: I know he's a traitor, but he's right about the Yanks. It's all a joke to them. They don't give a damn. And if it hadn't have been for Pearl Harbour they wouldn't have come over here at all. But now they're here, they think they own the place. They're taking everything we've got. Stan: Oh, come on, Dave. Barrett: You ask that girl of yours if you don't believe me. Mary: What? Stan: What you talking about? Barrett: No, no. I've said enough. Thanks for the washing. I'll see you in the week. He leaves and Stan and Mary exchange a glance. St Mary's school hall. The crowd of GIs chuckle at Foyle's talk. Foyle: And I really do appreciate that. Then, of course, er, there are gonna be a lot more things that you won't understand about us. GI: Yeah, warm beer. GI: Tea. Farnetti: And broads in uniform. Sam gives him a sidelong look. Foyle: Well, yes, even so, I, erm, I think you'll find there are a lot more things we have in common than, er, you'd imagine. It might perhaps help to remember that, er, for over two years now while the Germans have, erm, bmb us, they've tried to starve us. Erm, we've been on our own and, er, we might look, er, a little shabby. A little rough at the edges, a bit quiet, perhaps, but the fact of the matter is... we're very pleased to see you, even though, er, some might say you took your time getting here. Crowd: Hey! Ooh. Foyle: But now, erm, now you've arrived it's our job to make you welcome and to, er, look after you and as long as you don't criticise the King and Queen and, er- GI (offscreen): No, sir. Foyle: Remember to drive on the right side of the road, that is to say, the left side of the road, er, you've got every chance of seeing the wr out. Thank you very much. The crowd applaud. As Foyle takes a seat, Kieffer stands up. Kieffer: Okay, everybody, that's about it. Before you go for chow, does anyone have any questions? Farnetti stands up. Farnetti: Yeah. Mr Foyle. Foyle: Yes? Farnetti: There's, er, something I don't understand. Er, this girl came up to me in the post office the other day and asked me if I could lend her a rubber. The GIs laugh. Farnetti: So I was wondering, er, did she ask me to take her out? GI: Stow it, Farnetti. Rubbers don't mean the same thing over here. Farnetti: So, er, if you wanna go to the john, Mr Foyle, how do you say that in English? Foyle: Well, er, I'm old enough, er, not to have to ask, Mr Farnetti, but, erm, if you need help, you'll find there are lots here who'll be happy to oblige. There's laughter and more applause from the crowd, and the group start to file out. Wheatsheaf, evening. Susan is behind the bar with Carter. Susan: What? Carter: I've had a copper in here. He was looking for you. Susan: Why? Carter: Someone got klled. Harold Grayson's boy, Will. There was a fre. Susan: Yeah, I know. What's that got to do with me? Carter: What's it got to do with you? He was in here the night it happened. Susan: So? Carter: The copper said he was drunk. Susan: I don't know what he did after he left. If he was klled in a fre I can't be held responsible, can I? Carter: No, but listen, did you serve him any- Man (offscreen): Alan! Carter: We've got to talk about this. We've got to decide what to do. St Mary's school dining hall. A buffet table has been laid out with all kinds of food, including doughnuts, hot dogs, waffles and more. Kieffer (offscreen): Two boys, six and nine. Here's my wife, Ellie. He shows Foyle a family photo in his wallet. Foyle: Miss them? Kieffer: Oh, yes, I surely do. How about you? You have kids? Foyle: Er, yeah, I, I have a son. Kieffer: You know, I've been thinking. Maybe inviting some of the people from the village up here for a dance, get to know us a little better. What do you think? Foyle: Very good idea. Kieffer: Fill up. Foyle: I will, thank you. Across the room, Farnetti is talking to Taylor, who leans against the wall with a beer bottle. Farnetti: What's wrong with you, Taylor? Taylor: Forget it, Farnetti. He looks in a mirror on the wall and spots Sam studying the buffet table. Farnetti: Forgot. Excuse me. He adjusts his hair and approaches Sam. Farnetti: You're not eating? Sam: I haven't seen so much food in ages. I don't know where to begin. Farnetti: So, um, thought again about my offer? Sam: What? Farnetti: Movies. Sam: Oh. Um, yes I have thought again and I've decided to say no for a second time. Farnetti: Got a boyfriend? Sam: Actually, I do. Farnetti: Well, forgive me. I was just trying to be friendly. Across the room, Kieffer approaches Sergeant O'Connor. Kieffer: Ah, excuse me, sergeant. Oh, yeah, you two haven't met, have you? Er, this is, er, Sergeant Jack O'Connor. Foyle: How do you do. He and O'Connor shake hands. O'Connor: Was a good attempt, Mr Foyle, papering over the cracks. Foyle: I beg your pardon? O'Connor: Them and us. You need us, so be nice to us. Foyle: I, er, take it you're not very, er, happy to be here, then? O'Connor: You tried sucking up to htler, that didn't work, so you went to wr with him. You almost lost that by yourself and now you've dragged us in. No, I'm not crazy to be here. He walks off. Kieffer: Sorry about that. He had no right to speak to you in that way. Foyle: Oh, not at all. No need to apologise. One of the GIs approaches Taylor. GI: You want another beer? Taylor: Yeah, why not? Farnetti is still talking to Sam. Farnetti: So, um, I guess there's no chance you'll come to the dance with me? Captain wants to have a dance. You ever tried the jitterbug? Sam: I, I don't know what that is. Farnetti: Look, look, I promise. Like, no hands, right? I'm just... I'm 5,000 miles away from home and I don't wanna dance with Taylor. Sam: I'm sure he looks good in a dress. Farnetti: Oh, he does. He chuckles. Across the room, Foyle speaks to Kieffer. Foyle: Listen, I really should be going now. Sam! He jerks his head for her to follow him as he heads towards the door. Sam: But I haven't had anything to eat yet. Farnetti: Here, take these. He offers her a plate of doughnuts. Sam: I couldn't. I just can't. Farnetti: I'll send them over. Across the room. Kieffer: Listen, thanks once again for coming. Foyle: No, well, now, look, er, it's a great pleasure helping out and all that, but there's the, er, little matter of the arrangement we had. Kieffer: The arrangement? Foyle: The arrangement. Kieffer: What arrangement? The Reuben Leonard. He chuckles. Foyle: Well, er, let me see. The day after tomorrow? Kieffer: I'd be delighted. Foyle: And you'll bring the-? Kieffer: That was the deal. Foyle: That was the deal. Thank you. They head out of the room, and Sam follows. Farnetti (offscreen): I'll mail them to you. He waves the doughnuts. Farnetti: Or post them. Whatever. She smiles and leaves. Sam's lodgings, night. She walks up to the door and lets herself in. As she turns a light on, it illuminates a photo of Andrew Foyle. She lights a cigarette and goes through a stack of letters, opening one as she starts up the stairs. Andrew (voiceover): Dear Sam, I know it's been a long time since I've written and I'm sorry. I'm sorrier still to have to write this. Sam stops and sits down on the stairs. Andrew (voiceover): I can't say I've had a good time at Debden. Lots of reasons and of course I was missing you. I never seem to get any leave. Sam, there's no easy way to write this, but I've met someone else. I can't explain it and I feel wretched, but I was going mad on my own, without you, I mean, and it just sort of happened. The last thing I want to do is to hurt you, but I thought I should make a clean breast of it. And, well, there you are. God knows when I'll be home. And you probably wouldn't want to see me anyway. But at the very least you can begin again. Good luck, Sam. Don't think too badly of me. Andrew. Sniffing back tears, Sam screws the letter up in her palm. Davies house, daylight. A police car is parked outside. Stan (voiceover): I'm sorry, Mr Milner. She's not here. Milner (voiceover): D'you know where she is? Mary is ironing in the kitchen as Stan takes a seat at the table with Milner. Stan: She went to see Doctor Rogers. Er, she wasn't feeling too well. Mary (offscreen): She works too hard! Stan: Why d'you wanna see her? Milner: I'm investigating the death of Will Grayson. Mary: She hasn't got anything to do with that. She hardly even knew him. Milner: Well, she may have been the last person to see him before he went home. Um, just like to know if he said anything, if there was anything on his mind. Stan: You think he did himself in? Milner: Perhaps you could ask her to look in. It's important. He stands up to leave. Mary: Susan's a good girl, you know. She'd never get mixed up in anything that wasn't right. Milner: How long has she been working at the Wheatsheaf? Stan: About a year. Mary: She used to work at Benson's over at Bexhill. Milner: Benson's? Mary: They make chemicals. Stan: They started taking on girls back at the start of the wr. Girls doing men's jobs. Mary: Yeah. Stan: Susan thought it'd be an opportunity. Mary: She's always been ambitious. Milner: So what happened? Stan: Ah, she didn't like it. Chemicals were getting up her nose, so she packed it in. Mary: That's when she started at the Wheatsheaf. Stan: She had her head screwed on the right way, girl like that, eh? She could do better than that, that's what I told her. Milner: Do you know the landlord there? Stan: Alan Carter? Yeah, he's all right. Mary: She'll be there later. If you want her, that's where she'll be. Milner: Thank you. Stan shows him out. Shed. Susan is working at a still, pouring something from a bottle into a funnel. Carter enters behind her. She gasps as she realises he's there. Susan: Oh. You shouldn't creep up on me like that. Nearly spilled the whole lot. Carter: I want to talk to you. Susan: What about? Carter: All this. Look, a man is dad. We are responsible. Could be mrder, manslaughter, I don't know. I should never have listened to you in the first place. But now you're gonna listen to me. He grabs her arm Susan: What? Carter: This has got to go. The whole lot of it. Susan: We can't stop now. Carter: Why not? Susan: I need the money. Carter: Can't you see this isn't about money any more? Susan: It is for me. I need to get out of here. Carter: What are you talking about? Susan: We're not stopping. You can't make me. Carter: We'll see about that. Susan: Oh, yeah? And what if I told the police about your little business? I could tell them you made me help you. I'm half your age. Who do you think they'd believe? Carter: You wouldn't do that. Susan: Wouldn't I? At the start you were all over me. Weren't you, Alan? Well, we're not stopping. And if I go down, you go down. Just remember that. She leaves the shed. Hawthorn Cross. Kieffer and O'Connor look at plans. O'Connor: We're gonna have the pumping stations here and here. Kieffer: Past the parachute stores? O'Connor: Exactly. Kieffer: What about water supply? O'Connor: It's crazy, isn't it? We're still pumping water out. This place is a swamp. When we've finished it, we're gonna have to find a way how to pump it back in again. 120,000 gallons a day. A Jeep drives up and parks nearby. Kieffer: Can you do it? O'Connor: I'll work something out. Farnetti gets out of the Jeep. Farnetti: Hey, captain. You mind if I go into Hastings? Got some things to do. Kieffer: Sure, Farnetti, you got chow time like everyone else. O'Connor (offscreen): What's her name, Farnetti? Farnetti bumps shoulders with Taylor as he walks back. Taylor: Hey, Farnetti, why don't you look where you're going? Farnetti: Relax, Taylor, all right? I'm sorry. Kieffer: What's eating you, Taylor? Taylor: Nothing, captain. Sergeant, can I have a word with you? O'Connor: Go ahead. Taylor: In private? He and O'Connor walk away. Later. The two of them stand between a couple of parked vehicles. O'Connor: Pregnant? Taylor: That's what she says. O'Connor: And it's yours? Taylor: She says. O'Connor: Jesus, Mary, that's what I call FUBB for sure. Taylor: What am I gonna do? O'Connor: She wants you to marry her? Taylor: I've only known her a few weeks. I can't marry her, for Christ's sake! I'm 23 years old. I don't want to be a dad, you know? O'Connor: It's a bit late to think about that, don't you think? Taylor: Well, can't they...? You know, don't they, over here...? O'Connor: You don't get it do you, Taylor. Taylor: She had her claws in you the first moment she saw you. She's nothing but a gold-digger. She was just waiting for someone like you to come along. O'Connor: My parents will kll me. Taylor: You're a fast operator, I'll give you that. How long have you known her? O'Connor: Five, six weeks. And you believe her about the baby? Taylor: I don't know. I guess so. O'Connor: Well, unless she has some kind of accident, looks like you're stuck with her. Taylor: Accident? O'Connor: It's a wr, Taylor. Accidents happen. Police station. Sam walks into the reception area. Brooke: Good morning, Miss Stewart. Sam: Good morning, sergeant. Brooke: Oh, call me Brookie. Everyone does. Sam: Brookie. Brooke: There's, er, someone to see you, miss. Sam: Oh? She walks over to where Farnetti sits waiting in an office with a box of food. Sam: Private Farnetti? Farnetti: Miss Stewart. Er, You didn't get much of a chance to eat anything last night so I said I'd bring some stuff over. Sam: Thanks very much. Farnetti: Yes, there's, er, there's some coffee, oranges, some cookies. You know, that kind of stuff. Sam: Aren't you going to get into trouble? Farnetti: Hell, no, no. We got plenty. Er, yeah. This, er- I just wanted to apologise, you know, for, er, maybe coming on a bit strong. You know? I should have listened to your Mr Foyle. You know, them and us. It's just where I come from, people are really... Sam: I, I, I noticed. Farnetti: Yeah. So, um, well, anyway. Enjoy it. Sam: Thanks. Farnetti: And, er, I'll see you around. He goes to leave and Sam steps after him. Sam: Private Farnetti. Farnetti: Yeah? Sam: This dance, jitterbug? Farnetti: Tomorrow night. Sam: I, I was wondering if the invitation was still open? I'd love to come. Farnetti: Really? Er, what about, um, your boyfriend? Sam: Er, I don't think he'll mind. Farnetti: Swell. That's swell! He leaves. Hilton village. Mary rides her bike out into the rod and narrowly avoids being ht by a honking Jeep. Barrett farmhouse. He's carrying his plates away from the table as Mary brings his laundry in. Mary: Just put it down here, then. Barrett: Thanks, Mary. I'll take it up later. Mary: You gonna stay up here? Barrett: I've got nowhere else to go. Mary: Must be impossible for you, this. There's men everywhere. What did you mean the other day about Susan? Barrett: What about her? Mary: Susan and Ben. You seemed to think there was something wrong. Barrett: No, no. I was talking out of turn. Mary: You don't know how much it means to me, this wedding. I just want her to settle down. You know what sort of girl she is. She gets ideas. But, er, her and Ben, they've known each other a long time now. They'll be very happy together. Barrett: I wonder if any of us will ever be happy again with this wr. Have you seen what they're doing over there? Mary: I know. Barrett: If I complain they'll only get the police on to it. There's nothing I can do. They've sent Ben up to Iceland. Susan left on her own down here. Ah, we're all changed, all of us. I don't think we'll ever be the same again. Mary: Is there something you're not telling me? Barrett: No, no. Don't you worry, Mary. Ben'll soon be home. Everything'll be all right. Promise. Mary: You're a shirt short, I'll pick it up later. Barrett: All right. She leaves. River. A fish thrashes in the water. Kieffer (offscreen): Come here, you little beauty. Foyle: How many's that? Kieffer: Three. Foyle: Same fly? Kieffer: Yep. Foyle: Well, that's my fly. Kieffer: Huh. I know. Foyle: Whoa. Kieffer: You got it? Foyle scoops the fish out of the water with a net. Foyle: What do you think? Kieffer: Two-pounder. He takes the net and they walk away from the riverbank. Kieffer: So, how d'you get on with my rod? Foyle: Well, it's beautiful, it's just that I'm not catching anything. Kieffer: Oh, it's a poor workman who blames his tools. Foyle: Thank you. I'll keep trying. He goes back to the river with the fishing rod. Kieffer: Been a cop for long? Foyle: Too long. Kieffer: I was an engineer plodding along in a little place called North Bridge, Massachusetts. Foyle: This all must have, er, come as quite a shock to you. Kieffer: Pearl Harbour was a wake-up call. You know, Christopher, I could never understand how many of my countrymen were against this wr. The isolationists. Foyle: So when did you sign up? Kieffer: Last November. A month before Pearl. I had a kid brother whose name was Brian. He was 25 years old, serving in the US Navy. Destroyer. The Reuben James. They were on convoy duty in the Atlantic. At the end of October they were torpedoed and sunk. German U-Boat. 115 people lost their lives. Brian was among them. You know what? No one noticed. No one said anything. You see, nobody wanted to go to wr. They wanted to pretend it hadn't happened. Foyle: Sorry. Kieffer: I volunteered the next day. Foyle: I've got a feeling I'd be better off with my old split cane, you know. Kieffer: That's something I'm learning about you Brits. If it's old, it's got to be good. Foyle: And you lot think that what's good needs improving. Kieffer: Hey, I'm the one who caught the fish. Foyle: Well, you're the one with my rod. Kieffer: Well, tell you what, let's call it even and go get a drink. Foyle: Warm beer? Kieffer: Sounds perfect. St Mary's school hall. A band is setting up as GIs make preparations for the dance. Davies house. Susan pauses at the top of the stairs to smooth out a wrinkle in her stockings. Her mother stands below. Mary: You look nice. Susan: Oh, thanks, Mum. Mary: Those aren't new stockings, are they? Where did you get them? Susan: Oh, I've had them ages. I was keeping them for a special occasion. Mary: Now, don't you be out too late. Susan: Mum. Mary: What did Doctor Rogers say? Susan: Oh, I'm just a bit run down. I'm fine. Mary: Oh, I haven't told you. Ben's coming home! Susan: Ben? Mary: He sent a telegram from Scotland. Susan: When's he coming? Mary: Well, he should be here any time now. Susan: Why didn't you tell me? Mary: I haven't seen you. David only told me the other day. Aren't you pleased? Susan: Course I am. It's just... I don't want to see him at the moment. Not now. Mary: You know how he feels about you. Susan: Mum, we haven't seen each other for months. Mary: It's not his fault. Susan: You should have told me. Mary: I have told you. He's a good boy. He'll look after you. You were both so happy. The two of you. At school together. It'll be just like old times, you'll see. Susan kisses her on the cheek. Susan: Don't wait up, Mum. She leaves. St Mary's school hall. The band is playing as three young women walk in. GI: Ladies, welcome. They chatter among themselves. GI 2: Come on in, girls. Girl: Hello. GI 2: Want a drink? Girl: Oh, thank you. A couple dance a frenetic jitterbug. Sam's lodgings. She comes out of the house dressed up for a night out and starts down the road. Wheatsheaf. Alan Carter comes out of the pub and locks up behind him. There's a sign up saying that the pub is closed tonight. St Mary's school. A couple spills out of the hall into a back corridor before heading back in. Further along the corridor, Taylor sits at the foot of a staircase, drinking alone in the dark from an unmarked bottle. Hilton village. A coach pulls up. David Barrett is waiting by the side of the road and waves as it stops. Several people get off. Woman: Hello, David. Night, night. Thank you, driver. Ben Barrett gets off of the bus in a navy uniform, carrying his kitbag. Ben: Uncle David. He grips his uncle's hand. Barrett: Ben. Oh. You're looking well. You've lost weight. Ben: Navy grub. Barrett: So how come it took you so long? Ben: No trains. Troop movements. Barrett: Oh. Well, I can hardly believe you're here. I've, er, missed you. Ben: You on your own? Barrett: Who else were you expecting? Ben: You know. Where is she? Barrett: Come on, let's, let's get home. Ben: Yeah. Where is she? Barrett: Well, she's not here, is she? Ben: I can see that. Barrett: Oh, I can't tell you what's been going on here. It's, um... everything's changed. Ben: What? Barrett: Come on, let's, let's get home. They walk along the road together. Outside St Mary's. As Sam arrives, she sees Foyle there, just paying his taxi driver. Sam: Sir! Foyle: What are you doing here? Sam: Wasn't gonna come but I changed my mind. Foyle: Well, good for you. He takes his change from the taxi driver and they head inside. Sam: Not the sort of place I'd expect to see you. Foyle: Well, I'm just doing my bit for Anglo-American relations. Sam: Absolutely. They have wonderful doughnuts. He chuckles as they head inside. Hall. Kieffer is talking with O'Connor as Foyle and Sam arrive and meet up with Milner behind him. Kieffer: You know what I'm talking about, Jack? See you later. O'Connor moves off and Kieffer approaches Foyle. Kieffer: Christopher! Foyle: John. Kieffer: I'm so pleased you could make it. Thank you. This is a colleague of mine, Paul Milner. Kieffer: Hello, Paul, welcome. Welcome. Milner: Thank you. Kieffer: Hey. Go grab some chow. Make yourself at home. Have a drink. Foyle: Thank you. The three of them enter and head over to the food table. On the edge of the party, Taylor is drinking from a beer bottle. Doctor Rogers sits at a table nearby. Taylor starts looking woozy and goes to put the bottle down on a nearby table, but collapses to the ground. O'Connor comes over to him. O'Connor: Are you okay? Taylor: No, I'm sick. O'Connor: What is it? Foyle watches from across the room. Rogers approaches O'Connor and Taylor. Rogers: Are you all right? O'Connor: Yeah, we're fine, thanks. Rogers: I'm a doctor. Look, can I help? Taylor: It's something I ate. Rogers: Looks, let's get him into another room, have a good look at him. O'Connor: Can you get up? Just take it easy. Nice and slow. He and Rogers help Taylor out of the room. GI: Take it easy, Jimmy. Woman: He doesn't look so clever. As the three of them leave the hall, Susan is just arriving. She passes Carter on her way into the hall, but ignores him. He watches her go from the corridor. In the hall, the band are coming to the end of a tune. GI (offscreen): Hey. Woman (offscreen): Oh. GI (offscreen): Let's dance. People applaud. GI (offscreen): Come on, one more. The band strike up a new slow tune. Sam is standing in a corner having a drink. Farnetti approaches her. Farnetti: Hello. Sam: Hello. Farnetti: I didn't think you'd come. Sam: I said I would, didn't I? Farnetti: Well, you said you would and you said you wouldn't. I'm glad you did. Across the room, Kieffer and Milner are talking and drinking beer. Elsewhere, Foyle stands alone, watching the room. Susan enters and looks around. She spots O'Connor at the food table and approaches him as the tune comes to an end and there's more applause. Susan: Where's Jimmy? O'Connor: Jimmy? Susan: James. Taylor. O'Connor: He's not coming. He's sick. Susan: You're lying. O'Connor: I just left him. A minute ago. With the doc. Susan: What's wrong with him? O'Connor: Maybe he heard you were coming. She walks off and leaves the hall. Outside. The band can be heard striking up a more upbeat tune. David Barrett walks up to the building. Hall. Farnetti is still standing with Sam. Farnetti: So, you wanna dance? Sam: Er, you'll have to show me. Farnetti: My pleasure. Across the room, Doctor Rogers is just returning, passing Foyle and Milner where they stand talking to another man. Sam dances with Farnetti, tentatively at first but soon getting into the swing of it. Foyle glances over and sees the two of them before going back to his conversation. Darkened corridor. Susan struggle in vain against a man who has his hands around her throat. Hall. Sam and Farnetti continue dancing until the tune comes to an end. Corridor. Susan goes still and slumps. Her attacker lays her down on the ground. Hall. Foyle and Milner join the applause for the band. Foyle glances over again in Sam's direction. Corridor. Susan lies dad on the tiles, her neck visibly bruised. Milner (offscreen): Susan Davies. He and Foyle are both studying the body while a uniformed policeman stands guard outside the door. Milner: Her parents live in the village. I spoke to them yesterday. About Will Grayson's death. I wanted to speak to her but she was proving difficult to track down. Foyle: Was she involved? Milner: Yes, sir. I'm sure of it. Foyle steps out to look around the adjoining hallway. He spots that a room with beds at the end and goes over to investigate. He reads the names listed on the door: Farnetti, Taylor, Adams and Caffrey. Milner is looking at Susan's stockings. Milner: Nylons. Foyle: Yeah. I wonder where she got those? He sees that Susan's holding a set of dog tags in her hands. He takes them, reads the name, and exchanges a look with Milner. Kieffer's office. Kieffer: You don't think she could have involved with any of my men? He and O'Connor are both there with Foyle and Milner. Foyle: Well, erm, you have a soldier here, name of Taylor? O'Connor: James Taylor. He's a private. Foyle: Possible to have a word with him, would you mind? Kieffer: Christopher, you're putting me in a very difficult position. If you're suggesting Taylor or any of my men could have been responsible for this...? Foyle: Does seem a possibility. Kieffer: I'd hate to obstruct you in any way but I have to tell you my first responsibility is to my men. Foyle: Well, of course. Kieffer: I'm not even sure I can let you speak to them. This is an American base. Theoretically, you are on American soil. Foyle: Meaning? Kieffer: All I'm saying is that a mrder here could have ramifications beyond you and me. Maybe we should let the MPs handle this. Foyle: You asking us to leave? Kieffer: Hell, hell, no. No, I'm just saying this could be more complicated than it seems. Foyle: Well, a girl is dad. It's my job to find out how it happened. Seems pretty straightforward to me. Kieffer: We should both tread carefully. Hall. The decorations for the dance are still set up. Milner and Foyle are questioning Taylor. Taylor: Some local doc saw me, and I went to lie down. After that, I, I guess I fell asleep. Foyle: Went to lie down where? Taylor: Um, in my quarters. Foyle: You didn't see the girl? Taylor: No. I, er, I doubt I would have even recognised her if I had. Foyle: Your quarters, er, lead on to the corridor where she was found. Taylor: I was- I was asleep. I, I didn't see anyone. Foyle: Door closed, do you remember? Taylor: It was- it was open. Flashback to the sleeping quarters. Taylor (voiceover): I was er... I was half, half awake, half asleep. Taylor lies on a mattress just inside the door, twitching. Taylor (voiceover): But, but I heard her out in the corridor. Susan (offscreen): I don't want to see you now. You shouldn't even have come here. Just leave me alone. Cut back to the hall. Foyle: Was that all? Taylor: There was, um, there was something else. She said something like, er, she was still working and, er, and he, he could see her later. That was it. Foyle: He? Taylor: Whoever. Um, I tried to get up but I, I couldn't move and, um, so I think I fell asleep again. Foyle: Right. Er, you wear, um, identity discs, don't you? Taylor: Dog tags, sure. Yeah, we all do. Foyle: Would you mind if I had a look at yours? Taylor goes to pull them out and realises he's not wearing them. Taylor: They're, they're gone. Milner takes them out of his pocket and shows them to Taylor. Davies house, night. Stan (voiceover): She was engaged. Foyle and Milner are with Stan and Mary in the dining room. Mary: He won't know. We're, we're going to have to tell him. Milner: Who's that? Stan: His name's Ben Barrett. He used to have a job down at the baker's before the wr. The two of them met at school. Milner: Barrett? Stan: His uncle farms up at Hawthorn Cross. Mary: He joined up. They sent him to Iceland. He's coming home on leave. Milner: Where are his parents? Stan: They were klled two years ago. bmb in London. Foyle: D'you mind if we, er, take a look at your daughter's room? Stan stands up and leads Foyle and Milner upstairs. Susan's room. Foyle looks around and sees a framed photo of Ben and Susan. Foyle: Is this Ben? Stan: Yeah, that's him. That was taken about a year ago. Foyle: Being apart must have been hard for them. Stan: It's hard for us all, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Well, yes. Did he ever write? Stan: No, he was never much of a one with words. Milner picks up a small black book. Foyle (offscreen): Presents, gifts, did he send anything? Stan (offscreen): No. No. Foyle picks up another picture of Susan. Foyle: Where was that taken? Stan: That was taken outside the chemical works. Foyle: Benson's? Stan: Yeah. Milner: Sir. Foyle: In Bexhill? Stan: Yeah. Milner hands Foyle the book. Stan: Susan's diary. She always kept one. I don't think she wrote much in it, though. Foyle flicks through. Foyle: So. Would that be, erm, somebody's birthday, maybe? The date of January 10th is circled. Stan: No, her birthday's the 13th. Well, it was the 13th. Foyle: Right. Milner: Mr Davies, we'll find who did this to her. Stan: Yes. She had so many dreams, that girl. She wasn't just gonna sit around this village for the rest of her life. She wanted to be someone. Now that's all over. Sam is driving along with Foyle in the passenger seat. Foyle: You enjoy yourself last night? Sam: Yes, sir. Er, I did. Until... Yes. Foyle: Did you see anything? Sam: Susan Davies for example? Foyle: Yes. Sam: I saw her arrive. I saw her talking with O'Connor. He wasn't being very friendly. Foyle: Well, is he ever? Nothing after that? Sam: No, sir. I was dancing. Foyle: Yes, I saw. They pull up outside Doctor Rogers' house and they and Milner get out. Rogers (voiceover): Well, I, I didn't see anything. Foyle and Milner are interviewing him in the library. Rogers: And I was there. Poor girl. Foyle: I gather you, er, had to treat one of the Americans. Rogers: A private, yes. Er, James Taylor was his name. Foyle: What was wrong with him? Rogers: A nasty attck of gastritis. Can be really crippling. He was in a lot of pain, poor chap. Foyle: What could have brought that on, do you think? Rogers: Something he'd eaten, perhaps. Mind you, he'd been drinking too. Anyway, I got him to bed. That was the best place for him. Foyle: And the dad girl was a patient of yours? Rogers: Well, everyone in Hilton's a patient of mine. It's a small village and I'm the only doctor. Foyle: And she came to see you recently? Rogers: Er, yes. Foyle: Because she was pregnant? Rogers: How did you know that? Foyle: It was in our doctor's report. Did she say who the father was? Rogers: No. It wasn't Ben Barrett, that's for sure. I rather fear it was one of our American friends. Well, they do have an eye for the main chance. And, er, it must be said that some of the girls round here have had a bit of a spring in their step since they've arrived. Foyle: Right, but she didn't give you a name? Rogers: No. But I'll tell you this, she couldn't have been happier about it. She thought this new baby was going to give her a whole new life. Oh, it's very sad. Hawthorn Cross. O'Connor, Kieffer, Taylor and Farnetti are meeting in one of the old farm buildings. O'Connor: And you're just gonna let him walk in and pin it on us? Kieffer: Think I can do anything about it? O'Connor: Yes, sir, you probably can. Kieffer: Are you hiding something? O'Connor: No. I'd seen her around the village, sure. But I didn't even know her name. Kieffer: What about you, James? Did you know her? Taylor: Er, no. No, sir. I spoke to her once or twice in the village but... O'Connor: We talk to a lot of Jills. Taylor: I mean, she liked to hang around. I can't tell you much more than that. Kieffer: What's the story with the dog tags? Taylor: I don't know, sir. I had them round my neck at the start of the evening. I was sick, I was out of it. Kieffer: What was it you were drinking? Taylor: I don't know. Some, some strong... strong stuff. Kieffer: Are you saying someone took the dog tags while you were asleep? Is that it? Taylor: I guess they must have. Kieffer: What about any of the others? Anyone else seen hanging around with this girl? Farnetti: I can ask around, sir, if you think it'll help. Kieffer: No, that won't be necessary. But when Foyle comes back, which he will, we're gonna have to work with him, okay? O'Connor: I don't see that it's his business, sir. This is a US base. We should leave it to the Snowdrops. Kieffer: It was an English girl. O'Connor: I don't care who she was. He's gonna come in here and try and pin her death on one of us. Kieffer: That's all. Dismissed. He leaves. As Taylor leaves the building after him, Farnetti chases after him. Farnetti: Jimmy. Jimmy! Taylor: What is it? Farnetti: What you said in there. Taylor: What about it? Farnetti: That you didn't know her. That you only spoke to her now and then in the village. Taylor: So? Farnetti: That's not true. Taylor: What difference does it make? Farnetti: She's dad, man. Someone klled her, man. Taylor: What, you think it was me? He walks off. As O'Connor comes out behind them, Farnetti approaches him. Farnetti: O'Connor. O'Connor: What do you want, Farnetti? Farnetti: We should have told him. O'Connor: What do you mean? There's nothing to tell. Farnetti: What about her and Taylor? What about... What about you giving her money? O'Connor: You got a big mouth. He heads back into the building. Farnetti: Sergeant, we can't just walk away from this. We gotta tell them what we know. O'Connor comes back out again. O'Connor: It's none of your goddamned business, private. She was a girl. She got klled. That's the end of it. Barrett farm. Sam paces by the car. Barrett: How did it happen? If you're here, if you're asking these questions, are you saying someone, someone klled her? Foyle and Milner are there to question him in the farmhouse. Barrett: Is that what you're telling me? Milner: She was strangled. Barrett turns his head away, looking upset. Foyle: Is your nephew here, Mr Barrett? Barrett: Ben. Well, you're not gonna tell me you think he's got anything to do with it? Foyle: Is he here? Barrett: Now, listen to me. You don't have to be a bloody detective to know who did this. It's staring you in the face. The Yanks. They were all there drinking and dancing. It could be any one of them. Foyle: Right. She was, er, klled at the dance, then, was she? Barrett: Wasn't she? I, I presume she went to the dance because the whole village was going. Everyone went. Foyle: And you? Barrett: No. Foyle: But you were seen. Barrett: I was outside the building, that's true, but I never went inside. Foyle: So you did go? Barrett: I went, but when I got there I changed my mind. Taking their food like that. I don't know. I'd enjoy it more if I'd known it had come from htler. So I turned around and... came home. Foyle: Did your nephew go? Barrett: No. Ben, he was here. Foyle: Er, his fiancée was there, wasn't she? I mean, did he not know she was there? Barrett: Well, yes. Foyle: And it was his first day back on leave, wasn't it? Barrett: Well, of course he wanted to see her. He was going to go. But he was dog-tired. He'd come all the way down from Iceland then Greenock then here. And then had his supper and went to bed. Foyle: So where is he now, then? Barrett: Couldn't say. Foyle: Right. Well, if he shows up, erm, would you ask him to be in touch with us? Barrett: He'll want to see you. We all will. We all want to know who's done this. Foyle and Milner head outside. Milner: Did you believe him? Foyle: Did you? Milner: No. He isn't very fond of Americans, is he? If Susan Davies was having an affair with an American, perhaps he knew? Or maybe Ben Barrett found out? He comes home on leave, finds his girlfriend pregnant by another man. D'you think I should put out an alert? Foyle: No, we should give him the benefit of the doubt for the time being. Farmhouse. David Barrett looks at a framed photo of Ben and Susan, then deliberately knocks it to the floor. The glass smashes. Later. Barrett: Well, then, what are you going to do? Ben (offscreen): I think I'll go to London. I wish I'd never come. Barrett: You can't just leave. The police were here. Want to see you. Ben: I've got nothing to say to them. She's nothing to me any more. Barrett: Ben. Ben: I've only got a week's leave. I'm sorry. Do you really think I wanna spend any more of it here after all this? He walks off and Barrett follows him through the building. Barrett: You've got to see them. They were asking questions about you. Now you listen to me. You can't tell them. Ben: What? Barrett: You can't tell them about her. Ben: Why not? Barrett: I know I shouldn't have told you. That's why not. If you tell them that you knew about her and this Taylor you know what they're gonna think. Ben: What do you think? Barrett: Where were you last night? Ben: I told you. You want me to lie to them? What do you want me to do? I should leave. Police station. Sam arrives in the reception area and sees Foyle sitting on one of the benches. Foyle: Where have you been? Sam: Actually, sir, I've been having tea. I'm sorry. Foyle: At eleven o'clock? Sam: With Joe Farnetti, an American from the base. Foyle: That the one you were dancing with? Sam: Yes, sir. Foyle: Tell me in the car. He leaves and Sam follows. The two of them are driving along. Sam: I wouldn't normally take time off, sir. He said it was about the case. He knows something. He didn't tell me what. He did say that a, a lot of the men knew Susan Davies. They were getting stuff from her. Foyle: Stuff? Sam: That's all he said. They arrive at St Mary's school. Foyle gets out of the car, and after a moment, Sam opens the door to follow him. Sam: Sir. I know this isn't the right place or the right time. There's something I've been meaning to tell you. I, I got a letter from Andrew the other day. And... he's sort of... thrown me over, I'm afraid. He's met someone else. Foyle: I didn't know that. Sam: No, there's, there's no reason why you should. I, I didn't want to mention it on duty but, erm... He was very nice about it. Very honest. And it's absolutely true that with him in Debden and me over here it wasn't really- wasn't going to work. But there we are. Um, I just thought you should know. Foyle: Thank you. He turns to head towards the building. Kieffer's office. Kieffer stands behind the desk as Foyle walks in. Kieffer: I had a feeling you'd be back. Foyle: It's my job. Kieffer: Want to speak to one of my men? Foyle: Yep. Kieffer: James Taylor? Foyle: Yes. Kieffer: You've seen him once already. Foyle: That's right. Kieffer picks up the phone. Kieffer: Would you have Taylor come up to my office, please. Right away. There you are. Foyle nods in acknowledgement. There's a knock on the door and Taylor comes in. Taylor: Sir. Mr Foyle. Foyle: Mr Taylor. Kieffer: Mr Foyle has some more questions to ask you. Foyle: Well, just one. Taylor: I don't have any more to tell you. Foyle: Erm, before, er, you became ill what had you been drinking? Taylor: Some sort of British stuff. Foyle: What exactly? Taylor: Liquor. I don't know exactly what it was. Foyle: Where d'you get it? Kieffer: Answer him, Taylor. Taylor: Sir. Kieffer: Just do it. Taylor: O'Connor gave it to me, but there was nothing wrong with it. I had too much. Foyle: Where did he get it? Taylor hesitates. Foyle: Susan Davies? Wheatsheaf. Sam, Foyle and Milner arrive along with two other police cars. Inside, Foyle and Milner question Carter. Carter: I don't know what you're talking about. Milner: A man is dad. You may have klled him. And Susan Davies has been mrder. You were there. Carter: That wasn't me. I swear to you, that was nothing to do with me. Milner: Where is it? Carter: Where's what? Milner: The still. A uniformed policeman enters from the back. Policeman: Sir... Milner heads out that way, ushering Carter before him. The policeman leads the way through a gate to the shed. Policeman: This way, sir. Milner heads into the shed. Another uniformed officer shoves Carter after. Inside. Milner looks at Susan's still setup, and picks up one of the bottles. He uncorks it to sniff the contents, then jerks his head back. He turns to look at Carter. Milner: Cuff him. The two policemen handcuff Carter. Milner: Give us a minute, would you? Not you, Carter. Sit down. Carter sits down. Milner suddenly grabs him by the nose, forcing his mouth open. Carter: Ah! Ow! Milner starts to force the alcohol into his mouth, then one of the policemen comes back in. Policeman: Sarge... Milner: Get him out of here. Milner shoves Carter out, then throws one of the bottles down on the ground to smash it. Police interview room. Carter: I was gonna get rid of it. I was getting rid of it all. Milner is sitting across from him. Foyle enters the room to join them. Carter: It was never my idea. It was hers. She picked up the know-how when she was at Benson's. She talked me into it. She said it would be a bit of a laugh, that's all. Wouldn't do anybody any harm. Foyle: Industrial strength alcohol, however you disguise it, can cause asphyxia, insanity, blindness, death. Carter: No. Milner: Will Grayson is dad because of you. Carter: It wasn't my fault. Milner: He didn't want his father to know what he was doing so he locked the door and drank a bottle of it. The room caught fre but he was blind. Blind drunk. That's what your moonshine had done to him. He called out to his father, "I can't see." But it wasn't the fre. It wasn't the smoke. It was you. Carter: No. Milner: There was a key right beside the bed. But he couldn't see it to let himself out. You klled him, Mr Carter. Carter: No, I told you. It was never my idea. It was the girl. I have stopped. I was going to destroy it. But she thrat me. She said she was gonna tell you I made her do it but it wasn't like that, it was her. She wanted the money. She had these plans. America. Foyle is studying him as he talks. Foyle: How d'you get that? Carter: What? Foyle: The thing on your neck. There's a scratch just above his collar. Carter: Oh, er, I was clearing some brambles in the garden. What are you thinking? I never laid a hand on her. I swear to you. I never went anywhere near her. Reception area. Barrett enters and approaches Brooke at the front desk. Barrett: Excuse me, I want to see Mr Foyle. Brooke: I'm afraid he's not available at the moment, sir. Barrett: Well, can you tell him David Barrett is here to see him. And can you tell him... I did it. I klled Susan Davies. And can you tell him I want to confess. Brooke picks up the phone as Barrett sits down on one of the benches. Interview room. Foyle and Milner stand listening to Barrett. Barrett: I lied to you the last time we spoke. I went to the party like I told you. But I didn't leave. I went inside. And I went in to find her, because of what she'd done. Not, not to me. To my boy. I never had any children. Ben was like a son to me. And when I think of him up there in the cold, fighting for his King and country while she was... seeing someone. A Yank. I told you it'd be one of them. And I was right, wasn't I? I saw him with her. Coming out of the barn. I should have told Ben. Of course I should have told him, but... I couldn't bring myself to do it. He was asleep like I told you and... then I decided that I'd deal with it. Foyle: By klling her? Barrett: No, no, not to kll her. Just to see her, to, to plead with her. Oh, I don't know. I don't know what was going on in my head. Flashback to Barrett entering the school building. Barrett (voiceover): I went in the back way. And I ran across her in the corridor. He makes his way along the corridor. Barrett (voiceover): We didn't talk much. Didn't want to see me. Cut back to the interview room. Barrett: And then... well, then I just lost my temper. That's all there is to it. There's... nothing else to say. Foyle: Do you know that, erm, you could hang for this? Barrett: I feel sorry for Stan and Mary. I mean, they'd no idea she was like that. They just thought the best of her. I just wish they didn't have to find out. Foyle: You know the, erm, name of the American that Susan was seeing? Barrett: Taylor. Foyle: Thank you. Hawthorn Cross. Foyle and Milner are there to question Taylor. Foyle: Any feelings at all for this girl? Taylor: No, sir. Sir, I didn't. I was just so lonely. You know, I got a girl back home. I was missing her so much. And Susan... at first she seemed so, so friendly, and one thing led to another. She wanted me to marry her. That wasn't going to happen. My parents would have klled me. Anyway, I told you, I didn't love her. I know how that sounds. Foyle: Well, you could have told us all this at the beginning. You could have told us the night she was klled. 'Cause the person who did this is still out there, so you haven't helped, have you? Taylor: I'm sorry, sir. I was, er, I was scared. I was- I was ashamed. Barrett farm. Foyle and Milner approach the building and find Ben sitting outside, taking a break from chopping wood. Foyle: Mr Barrett? Ben: Who are you? Foyle: We're the police. Er, we've been expecting you to be in touch with us. Ben: Yeah? Foyle: Can we have a word? Ben: Please yourself. Inside. Ben: I don't care what he said. He didn't kll anyone. He wouldn't have hurt Susan. He'd known her her whole life. Her mum and dad are his friends. I'm telling you, he didn't do it. Foyle: Why is he telling us he did, then? Ben: I don't know. You tell me. Foyle: You've just come back from Iceland, haven't you? Ben: Yes. Foyle: Convoys, is that right? Ben: I can't talk about that. Foyle: Can you talk to us about, er, Susan? Ben: What? Foyle: Susan. Ben: We met at school. Foyle: Yeah, so I gather. I understand, er, you're engaged? Ben: We were. Foyle: Er, were you aware of the, erm, relationship she was having with, er, one of the Americans? Ben: Yes. My uncle told me. Foyle: Did he? He says he didn't. Ben: Uncle David doesn't know what he's saying. Foyle: Finding that out after being away for so long, er, must have been quite a shock. Ben: Wasn't a shock. She was always that way if you want the truth, Mr Foyle. Dreaming. Never happy with what she had. Even at school she wanted to travel, see the world. Often wondered if she'd ever really settle down. And if she did, would it be with me? Foyle: So, erm, then what did you do? Ben: I went to the pub. Foyle: Which pub was that? Ben: The Royal Oak, Hastings. Milner: Your uncle told us that you went to bed. Ben: Well, he's lying again. He thinks I klled her. Don't you see? He's protecting me because he thinks I did it. Well, I didn't and neither did he. So the two of you are wasting your time. You might as well leave. Police interview room. Barrett sits at the table, and looks up as Foyle and Milner enter. Foyle: Mr Barrett. You can go. Barrett: What? Foyle: You can leave. I've spoken to your nephew. Barrett: What are you saying? Foyle: I'm saying that you're free to... free to go. Making a false confession is, er, construed as wasting police time and obstructing the course of justice, but I understand why you did it, so you're free to go. Barrett: What about Ben? Foyle: What about him? Barrett: Well, didn't he...? Foyle: No. Barrett: I thought that he'd klled Susan and I- and I thought it was my fault. Milner: But you did tell him about it, didn't you? Barrett: I did more than that. I wanted him to be angry. I don't know how I could have done that, Mr Foyle, but I, I wanted him to... Flashback to Ben and Barrett walking back to the farm together. Barrett (voiceover): I just don't know how I could do that. Barrett: There's someone else, Ben. He's taken her. He's sweet-talking her. And now... she doesn't want to know you. Barrett takes Ben into the bar where Susan and Taylor had their assignation. Barrett (voiceover): I told him about her and Taylor. And so God help me, I didn't spare any details. I wanted to make him angry. Flashback to Barrett talking with Ben in the farmhouse. Barrett: He's one of these Yanks. They come over here and they don't give a damn about our boys out there fighting the wr. They earn twice as much as you do. They've got food, they've got everything. But that's not enough. James Taylor. That's his name. And you should do something about it. Interview room. Milner: So you tried to get him to go to the dance to pick a fight with Taylor? Barrett: I did. And that's where I thought he'd gone. Foyle: Not at all what happened though, is it? Barrett: No. Flashback to Barrett walking through the school. He sees Susan lying dad in the corridor and hurries over to her. Barrett: Susan? Susan! Susan? He takes her pulse. Barrett (voiceover): I thought it must have been Ben. I thought he must have come across her. Cut back to the interview room. Barrett: It was my fault. Foyle: And you took the identity discs? Barrett: How do you know that? Foyle: Well, somebody did and it certainly wasn't her. The string wasn't broken so it would have come over Taylor's head, not quite the sort of thing you're able to do while you're being strangled, perhaps? Flashback to Barrett in the corridor. Barrett (voiceover): I was going to leave. Then I heard some men calling out his name. GI (offscreen): Yeah, but he's out here. Taylor, come on! Barrett drags Susan's body further away from the sound of the voices. GI 2 (offscreen): Come on, Taylor. GI (offscreen): What is he doing in there? Three drunk GIs head through into Taylor's quarters, laughing. GI 2: Private First Class Taylor, where are you? GI 3: First-class what? GI: Private First Class Taylor! GI 2 (offscreen): Ah, he's half full. GI 3 (offscreen): Taylor! GI (offscreen): Oh. Aw, you're so sweet! GI 3 (offscreen): He's a mess. Barrett listens from an adjoining corridor as they break into drunken singing. GIs (offscreen): There once was a soldier named Taylor, who suddenly looked much paler. He fell asleep in his bunk and he's drunk as a skunk! They laugh. Flashback to Barrett looking down at the sleeping Taylor. Barrett: Taylor? Barrett (voiceover): I didn't even think about it, actually. It just seemed the, well, the right thing to do. I wanted to punish him and protect Ben. Barrett takes the dog-tags. Barrett (voiceover): I know it wasn't right. It was a wicked thing to do. And to be honest with you, I... oh, I don't know how I could. Cut back to the interview room. Barrett stands up. Barrett: Who did kll her, Mr Foyle? D'you know? Other interview room. Carter sits at the table. Foyle and Milner enter. Foyle: Mr Carter? Carter: Yeah? Milner: We're arresting you for the mrder of Susan Davies. You don't have to say anything- Carter: No. Milner: But anything you do say- Carter stands up. Carter: You cannot pin that on me. I had nothing to do with it. Milner: Sit down. Carter: You're wrong. Foyle: You were heard. Carter: Who, who was? Flashback to Taylor's quarters. Foyle (voiceover): Yourself and Susan Davies. Carter (voiceover): Who by? Foyle (voiceover): One of the Americans. Milner (voiceover): He was in a room next to the corridor where you klled her. Taylor lies on the mattress half awake. Susan (offscreen): I don't want to see you now. You shouldn't even have come here. Carter (offscreen): Please- Susan (offscreen): Just leave me alone. Carter (offscreen): Listen. Susan (offscreen): Stop following me. We're gonna keep the still working, d'you understand? Interview room. Carter: So what sort of evidence do you call that? Is that a reason to kll her? Foyle: Well, no, but he misheard, didn't he? It was nothing to do with her still working but very much to do with keeping your illegal still working. Which was the reason you klled her. Blood was found under her fingernails. Carter: What's that got to do with me? Foyle: From that. He points at the scratch on Carter's neck. Carter: Look, that's not... I told you where I got that. Foyle: Your blood. Carter slumps. Carter: I had to. I had to make her stop. But she wouldn't listen to me. I, I, I, I couldn't make her listen, and a man had died. Flashback to Carter and Susan in the corridor. Susan: I don't want to see you now. You shouldn't even have come here. Carter: Listen. Susan: Just leave me alone. He chases after her, grabbing her by the shoulders to stop her leaving. Susan: I'm going to keep the still working, d'you understand? What are you doing, get off me! Carter: No! Susan: Get your hands off me! He shoves her up against the wall and starts to strangle her. She scratches his neck in the struggle before going still. He lays her down on the ground Carter (voiceover): I never meant to hurt her. Back in the interview room, he lays his head down on the table. Later. Foyle is just leaving his office as Sam comes out of Milner's ahead of him. Foyle: Sam? Sam: Sir? Foyle: Listen, I should apologise. I've made, um, judgements about you and your personal life which I had absolutely no right to do and as a result I, er, I might have spoken out of turn. Sam: That's quite all right, sir. I should have said something earlier. Foyle: Well... I'm sorry about Andrew. Sam: It's the wr, isn't it? Foyle: Suppose so. Sam: Can I give you a lift home? Foyle: No. I'll walk. Um, you get an early night. Sam: Thank you. Foyle: And, er, have a very good time. Sam: Thank you. He heads out of the station. Sam: Goodnight. A street in Hastings. As Foyle is walking along, Kieffer pulls up beside him in a Jeep. Kieffer: Christopher! I just missed you at the station. So you've finally caught the kller, eh? Foyle: Yep. Kieffer: And it wasn't the wicked American? Foyle: It wasn't. Kieffer: I guess Lord Haw-Haw will be sorry about that. Foyle chuckles. Kieffer: Look. He turns off the engine and gets out of the Jeep. Kieffer: I might as well come straight out with it. I wanna say I'm sorry, okay? This business about the girl. I'm new here. I know how you British are always mrder each other but I didn't expect to get caught up in it like that, so, er, maybe I behaved like a jerk. Foyle: Well, you did what you thought was right. Kieffer: Can we put all this behind us? Foyle: Of course. Kieffer: Good. And in the interests of furthering British-US friendship, I happen to have a quart of Jack Daniels in the back. Don't suppose you'd care to come back to base and help me in drinking it, would you? Foyle: To, er, help the wr effort? Kieffer: Exactly. Foyle: Don't see why not. Kieffer: Climb aboard. They get into the Jeep and drive away. Foyle: By the way, what's a jerk? Kieffer: Let me explain. Foyle: Nothing to do with dried meat? Kieffer: Nothing to do with dried meat! That's jerky. Foyle: That's jerky. Kieffer: Okay, look, a jerk is someone who- it- The Jeep drives off around the corner.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "04x01 - Invasion"}	foreverdreaming
Countryside. An armed soldier herds a flock of sheep across the hillside. CAPTION: AUGUST 1942 Military base. Soldiers patrol both inside and outside the fence. Base infirmary. Mark Wilcox, dressed in a civilian suit, walks along the corridor to the room where Simon Higgins sits up in bed, his eyes bandaged. He turns his head as he hears the door opening. Mark: Simon? Simon: Good morning, Mark. Mark: How are you? Simon: Just missed the quack. No change, I'm afraid. Mark: But you are going to be all right? Simon: Apart from being blind, you mean? Mark: You shouldn't have done it. Simon: It's only temporary, Mark. I'll be fine. What about the new test? Mark: We're going ahead now. Simon: Halliday in charge? Mark: Yes. Simon: He's got no bloody idea what he's doing. Do be careful, won't you? Mark: You're a fine one to speak. Simon: Just keep an eye on him. Mark leaves. Test site. Men in protective suits and masks set up a canister atop a raised metal frame on a beach. Captain George Halliday watches them through binoculars from a distance. Mark Wilcox stands beside wearing one of the protective suits. Halliday: Wind direction? Mark: South-southeast. Halliday: That's perfect, then. Let's get on with it. Mark: Captain, I really think this is not- Halliday: I have my orders, Wilcox. So do you. He walks off. Mark holds up a red flag to signal the men on the beach. Man: It's the red flag! One of the men makes a final adjustment to the canister, then climbs down from the framework. Another raises a red flag to return the signal. Mark goes to join Halliday in a protective pillbox. Halliday: Are you going to do the honours? Mark attaches a wire to a detonator and raises the plunger. Mark: Ready? Halliday nods and puts a gas mask on. Mark puts his own on, checks the men are clear of the test site, then pushes the plunger. The canister explodes. A cloud of white smoke spreads, passing over enclosures where sheep are held in individual pens. Later. A lorry drives along a road through the woods. As it screeches through a turn, a dad sheep falls off of the back and lands in the road. The driver keeps going, oblivious. OPENING CREDITS Hastings beach. Sam and Farnetti walk along the edge of the water. Sam: So, how's your new billet? Farnetti: Well, it's better than the old one. We're staying in this duke's place. Never seen any place so big in my life. Or so damp. Sam: It rained a lot last month. Farnetti: Yeah? Well, it looks like it rained a lot for the last thousand years. I have to tell you, I can't wait to get back to California. Sam: Do you mean that? Farnetti: Well, wr can't last for ever. I mean, especially now that we're here. You know, everything that's happening in France and things aren't looking too good for Rommel in Africa, and looks like things might work out in Dieppe. I'm telling you, it's not going to last much longer. Sam: And then you'll shove off home, I suppose? Farnetti: You bet! Aw, man, I'm on the first boat out of here. Provided, that is, that you come with me. Sam: Me? Farnetti: Come on, Sam. You know how I feel about you. Sam: You've only known me a short while. Farnetti: Well, the best while of my life. Sam: Come on. You've been cold and damp and miserable. Farnetti: Yeah. Cold and damp and miserable, and more than a little grateful to the Jerries 'cause without them, I'd never have met you. Sam: Joe. Farnetti: I mean it. He grasps her hands. Farnetti: I want you to marry me. I want you to come home with me. I want you to meet my family. You got to meet my mom. She's gonna love you. I want you to have kids with me. And I want to never let you go. Sam: Is this a proposal? Farnetti: Well, I suppose- I suppose it is. You want me to do it properly? Sam: No. Farnetti: Oh, well, it's too late. He goes down on one knee. Sam covers her face with her hand. Sam: Oh, God. Farnetti: Will you marry me, Sam? He stands up, patting his pockets. Farnetti: Wait, wait, wait. I don't have a ring. He grabs a shell from the beach nearby. Farnetti: Okay. This sea shell will have to do, right? He gets back down on one knee. Sam laughs. Farnetti: You're the most beautiful girl I ever met and I want to marry you. What do you say? Sam: Get up, Joe! Farnetti: No. Not until you give me an answer. Is that a yes or a no? Police station. Foyle enters the reception area to find Sergeant Brooke up a stepladder removing a lightbulb. Brooke: Morning, sir. Foyle: Morning. What, um...? A woman, Edith Ashford, is sitting on one of the benches in the waiting area. Brooke: Ah. Orders from the Assistant Commissioner, sir. Forget the spivs, the racketeers and all the rest of it. What really matters is these new fuel targets. Light bulbs. Foyle: I see. Brooke: Well, you won't for much longer. Meant to be taking out half the lights in the building. So far, we're up to 40. Foyle: Couldn't we just, um, not turn them on? Brooke: Need the bulbs, sir. Foyle: Oh, right. Right. Er, tried my office? Brooke: Wouldn't go in without your say-so, sir. But if you can help... Foyle: I'll take a look. Brooke: Afraid that's not the end of it, sir. From now, the canteen will only be serving hot food three times a week. So we can look forward to Spam sandwiches all round. Foyle: Wonderful. He heads through into the back. A moment later, Milner arrives. Brooke: Mr Milner. Young lady to see you. Edith stands up from the bench. Edith: Paul. Milner: Edie. Edith Ashford. Edith: Yes. Milner: You are still Miss Ashford? Edith: Yes, I'm not married. Milner: Gosh. I haven't seen you for what? Eight years? Edith: Nearly ten, I think. I heard you were in the forces. Milner: Yes, I was. Edith: And then you came here. You always said you wanted to be a detective. Milner: I did. Edith: I... didn't know whether to come or not, but the truth is I didn't have anyone else to turn to. Milner: Why, are you in trouble? Edith: No. Not me. My brother. Milner: Martin. Edith: I didn't know if you'd remember him. Milner: Of course I would. He was the smallest boy in school. He was only, what? Six or seven? He was just starting when I left. Edith: You were very kind to him. That's one of the reasons I thought of you. Milner: Why? What's happened to him? Edith: He's been arrested. He's been accused of mrder. Foyle's office. Edith sits in front of the desk as Milner and Foyle listen to her story. Edith: My brother would never hurt anyone. I mean, that's one of the reasons he refused to fight. He's a Quaker. A conscientious objector. That hasn't stopped him doing his bit. He's done firewatching, and ambulance driving. Now he's helping down at Foxhall Farm. Foyle: Well, I'm not entirely, er, familiar with the circumstances here, but I gather it's this wr hero that your brother's accused of mrder? Is that right? Edith: Tom Jenkins. Milner: Royal Navy. Serving on the Navarino. Part of the convoy was sunk last month. Edith: Martin didn't kll him. Foyle: I understand he was arrested, er, very shortly afterwards? Edith: Wrongfully arrested. Foyle: Have you spoken to him? Edith: That's the trouble. He won't talk to me. He won't talk to anyone. Foyle: Which, er, might suggest he's not quite as innocent as you believe him to be? Edith: I know Martin didn't do it. He's three years younger than me. I've looked after him all my life. There's nothing I wouldn't do for him. I know him. And I know he wouldn't do this. I'm begging you to help. Would you talk to him? Foyle: Well, if he's not talking to anyone, what makes you think he'll talk to us? Milner: Well, he knew Paul. I mean, Mr Milner. We were close once. The two of us. And he knew... Foyle: Well, this, er, might not be quite as easy as you think. Um... Milner: Martin was arrested further down the coast, at Hythe. That's not in our jurisdiction. Edith: But you must know people. There's a policeman called Fielding. DCS Fielding. Can't you talk to him? Please. I've got no one else to turn to. Please, tell me at least you'll try. Cartwright house. Leonard Cartwright, a young man with a scar across his right eye, fills the teapot and takes it over to the breakfast table. His father Ted walks in. Ted: I'm leaving, then. Leonard: Where are you going? Ted: I had a call from Brian Jones. Something's wrong with his cattle, so I'm getting down to Foxhall. He opens and checks his case of veterinary equipment. One of the tools is missing from its place. Ted: You could come if you like. Leonard: No. Ted: So what are you gonna do? Leonard: I don't know, Dad. Ted: You just going to mope around here all day? Leonard: I don't know, Dad. Maybe I'll go out for a walk. Don't worry about me. Ted: I'll see you, then. Foxhall Farm. Ted drives up and parks in front of the farmhouse. The farmer, Brian Jones, walks over to meet him as he gets out. Ted: Morning, Brian. Brian: You made it, then. Ted: I said ten o'clock, didn't I? So, where are they? Brian: This way. Cowshed. Ted examines one of the cows while Brian watches. Ted: Hmm. Come on, love. Come on, girl. Gotcha. Get here. He urges the cow into position. Brian: So what is it, then? Ted: I'm not sure. Brian: Well, that's not very good. Ted: I'd say it's some sort of flu. Brian: Not flu. Ted: Well, we don't know that. Brian: We don't know anything very much, Ted. Ted: Mmm. And you said they all got it at the same time? Brian: Within 24 hours. Ted: It's unusual, a whole herd being affected like this. Brian: A herd? There are only six of them. Ted: Well, let me look at the samples, and I'll get back to you. Brian: All right. Ted: You haven't had any other animals here, have you? No one passing through, anything like that? Brian: Visitors? Ted: Mmm. She's very sick. Brian: I can see that. Country lane. Sam, Foyle and Milner are driving along. Foyle: You're unusually quiet. Sam: Yes, sir. Foyle: Does that mean you're thinking? Sam: Yes, sir. Foyle: Need any help? Sam: No, thank you. I just have to make up my mind about something, and it's, it's rather awkward. I feel as though I've come to a crossroads and I'm afraid of making the wrong turn. Foyle: Well, we just have. He points back over his shoulder. Foyle: We should have gone that way. Hythe is left. Sam: Oh. Sorry. She puts the car in reverse. Woods. A large group of police are at a site where a body has been dug up, under the direction of DCS David Fielding. Fielding: Someone get a stretcher, for heaven's sake. Why isn't it here? Policeman: Yes, sir. Fielding turns and spots Foyle and Milner approaching. Fielding: Foyle. What are you doing here? Foyle: Er, well, they, er, told me over at the station this was where I'd find you. Fielding: Who'd you speak to? Henderson? And he suggested you walk into the middle of a mrder investigation without so much as a by-your-leave? Foyle: When did you find her? Fielding: Ten minutes ago. Foyle: Well, then he wouldn't have known what he was sending me into, would he? Fielding: You know her? Foyle: Who is she? Fielding: Her name's Joan Chaplin. prosttute. She works down the docks in Dover. Or used to. Stupid bloody waste of life. The stretcher-bearers arrive. Fielding: All right. Get her out of there. Where the hell have you been? He turns back to Foyle and Milner. Fielding: Well, if you're not interested in her, what can I do for you? Foyle: Martin Ashford? Fielding: Oh, another mrder case, yeah. Local lad. Lives up your way. klling took place down here. What d'you want him for? Foyle: I don't. It's just there's a personal connection. The sergeant here knows his sister. Fielding: Oh. What's your name? Milner: Milner, sir. Fielding: I see, Milner. So you know his sister. Are you close? Milner: We were childhood friends. She came to me because she believes Martin is innocent. Fielding: You want to reinvestigate the case? Foyle: Well, I wouldn't put it like that exactly. Fielding: Have you nothing better to do than to come down here and rake over old ground? Foyle: Well, far from it. I just wanted your opinion. I wondered if Milner's connection here might be useful, if only to reassure the sister, but if you don't want us under your feet, I quite understand. Fielding coughs. Fielding: It's getting a bit nippy. The wind gets on my chest. Er, do you mind if we talk inside? Milner moves to join them. Fielding: Just the two of us. Fielding gets into his car and takes a drink from his flask. Foyle gets in to join him. Fielding: What the hell you do think you're doing? I haven't seen you for the best part of two years, and you, you walk in here and show me up in front of my own men. Foyle: I haven't done anything of the sort. Fielding: Look, I spoke to Edith Ashford not once, but several times. She gave me all that stuff about her brother's innocence. Well, I didn't trust her. I didn't believe her, and frankly I'm surprised that you do. Now, let me give you the facts. Thomas Jenkins and Martin Ashford argued publicly and violently, and then they arranged to meet that evening on the beach to settle their differences. That's where Jenkins was klled. We know that Ashford was there. He claims that he came upon the body, that Jenkins had been sab by some sort of Knfe. It took us a while to find it, and the MO's still trying to work out what it is, but I'll tell you where we found it. It was half buried in woodland not 200 yards from where Martin Ashford lived. Foyle: Seems pretty straightforward. Fielding: We didn't find any fingerprints. It had been wiped clean. But we did find blood stains on Ashford's clothing and it matched those of the dad man. He didn't confess. He hasn't denied it either, which more or less adds up to the same thing. So, there you have it. Pretty straightforward, I agree. Now, would you tell me what gives you the right to drive over here and question my judgement? Foyle: Not my intention. Fielding: No? Foyle: No. I told you I don't know anything about this apart from what the sister has told me. I came over here to ask if you, as a friend, would mind me speaking to the man, to put her mind at rest, even if it meant explaining to her that, er, you're right and he's guilty. But as you say, at the same time, he hasn't confessed, so it's possible I could help. Fielding: As a friend? Foyle: As a friend. Police interview room, Hythe. Martin Ashford sits at the table. Milner sits down opposite him. Foyle stands watching in the background. Milner: D'you remember me, Martin? Martin: No. Milner: Paul Milner. We were at school together. Ten years ago. Martin is silent. Milner: Your sister Edith came to see us. Martin: Why? Milner: Because she wants us to help you. Martin: You can't help me. Milner: Martin, did you kll Tom Jenkins? Martin: No. Milner: But you were there with him on the beach? Why won't you talk to us? Martin: I've got nothing to say. Milner: Your sister thinks you're innocent. She believes in you. I'd say at the very least you owe it to her to talk to us. Martin: What rank are you, Milner? Milner: I'm a sergeant. Martin: Well, Sergeant Milner, I don't care what Edith thinks, and I don't know why you're here, but I've just told you, I've got nothing to say. Foyle: Someone perhaps that you're... protecting? Some argument with, er, Jenkins? What was that about? Martin: The wr. Foyle: You're a pacifist, aren't you? Martin: That's not what he called me. Foyle: What did he call you? Well, whatever it was, no good reason to kll him, as far as I'm concerned. Martin: I didn't kll him. Foyle: D'you know who did? Martin doesn't answer. Foyle: You're working on a farm, is that right? Martin: Why are you asking me? It's all in the report. Foyle: Well, your sister doesn't believe the report. Martin: She doesn't know anything. Neither do you. I just want you to leave me alone. Foxhall Farm. Brian Jones heads to the cowshed with a bucket of water. He calls his dog to him. Brian: Hey! Hey, come here. Come on. He enters the cowshed, and finds it empty of cows. He throws the bucket down with a splash. Hospital. Edith comes down the front steps and sees Milner waiting for her. Milner: Edith. Edith: Paul! Have you seen him? Have you seen Martin? Milner: Yes. We spoke to him earlier. Edith: And? Milner: I'm afraid he didn't have very much to say. But we're still looking into it. Edith: How did you find me here? Milner: I saw where you worked. It's in the report. And I thought it would be nice to speak to you again after all this time. Edith: Well, I'm absolutely famished. You can take me out for tea. Café. Edith and Milner are at a table together. Edith: The Russians are losing, aren't they? The Germans have taken Sebastopol and that other place. I can never remember the names. They say Stalingrad will be next. Looks as if Joe's finished. Milner: I'm sure it's not all bad news. Africa's going our way. Edith: I just want the wr to be over. It's so awful. We get a lot of sailors in, and merchant seamen. They're brned and they're half-drowned. It's horrible, the things that have happened to them. Milner: When did you become a nurse? Edith: Before the wr. My mother was sister-in-charge at the same hospital. Milner: Yes, I remember. Edith: And you went straight into the police? Milner: More or less, yeah. Edith: I remember you after school. You were always playing Bulldog Drummond. Sniffing around in people's back gardens. The Lindens at number 27. You were convinced they were Bolsheviks. Milner: Was I? And Martin used to keep lookout for me. Edith: He didn't do it, Paul. You believe me, don't you? Milner: Mr Foyle thinks he might be protecting someone. Edie? Can you tell me? Is there anyone he might be involved with? Edith: No. Milner: Are you sure? Edith: Of course I am. Milner: Then why won't he talk? Edith: Is that why you asked me out? To question me? Milner: No. I wanted to see you again. Seaside promenade. Sam and Farnetti walk along hand-in-hand. Sam: Tell me about California. I've no idea what it's like. Farnetti: What do you think? Sam: I don't know. Oranges and movie stars? He laughs. Sam: Everybody in huge cars. Farnetti: Sure. Even Lassie has his own limousine. Sam: Tell me about the street where you live. Farnetti: No. I don't wanna talk about it. I haven't been home in nine months. Sam: Why so long? Farnetti: Er, they trained us at Fort Benning, Virginia, and they shipped us out here. Sam: Have you spoken to your parents? Farnetti: They give us six minutes a week. wr is hell, right? Hey, let's get an iced soda. Sam: You'll be lucky. We haven't had ice cream here since 1940. And none of the pubs are open, so don't ask for a beer. Farnetti: I love this country, you know? Everything about it is so... Sam: What? Farnetti: Impossible. She laughs. Farnetti: So have you thought about what I asked? Sam: Of course I have. I haven't thought about anything else. Farnetti: And? Sam: You know I'm very fond of you, Joe. But I hardly know you. My mother would have a fit if I just upped and left without even introducing you first. Farnetti: Well, we, we, we could get a horse and buggy and have a dance and invite all the neighbours. She laughs. Sam: You've been reading too much Jane Austen. Farnetti: Yeah, well. I would be exceedingly obliged, Miss Stewart, if you would be the next Mrs Farnetti. Sam: Stop it. Farnetti: Well, is it a yes or a no? Sam: I don't know. You'll have to give me more time, I'm afraid. Farnetti: Well, you can have all the time you want. Sam: Good. Foyle's office. Milner knocks on the door. Foyle (offscreen): Yeah? Milner enters to find Foyle standing on the desk unscrewing a lightbulb. Milner: Sir. Foyle: Is he after yours as well? He climbs down. Milner: Yes, sir. He's got two of mine. Foyle: What does he do with them? Milner: I have no idea. Foyle spots the file Milner's carrying. Foyle: Read that? Milner: Yes, sir. Last night. Foyle: And? Milner: I have to admit DCS Fielding is right. It does look pretty cut and dried. Thomas Stephen Jenkins, aged 26. He was a fisherman before the wr. He joined the navy and was a petty officer on convoy duty on the Navarino when it was sunk just off the Kola Peninsula. He was awarded the DSM. He managed to break down a burning door. Flashback to burning wreckage floating in the water. Milner (voiceover): sht the hinges off, got twelve men to safety. They would have died if it wasn't for him. Jenkins huddles on a piece of floating debris, shivering with cold. Milner (voiceover): After that, he jumped overboard and spent six hours in freezing water. He only survived because he managed to cling to a piece of wreckage. If you ask me, he deserved a medal for that alone. Flashback to Jenkins walking out arm-in-arm with his wife Elsie, a medal pinned to his coat. Milner (voiceover): He's married, and his wife is Elsie Jenkins, aged 23. They have one child, a boy of eighteen months. Foyle (voiceover): What about, er, Martin Ashford? Flashback to Martin drinking a beer in the King's Arms pub. Milner (voiceover): Single. Unattached as far as we know. He used to work with Jenkins before the wr. The two of them argued the evening Jenkins got back from the palace. Jenkins is standing amid a group of people that includes his wife and Edith Ashford, wearing his medal. Jenkins: Not gonna join us? Milner (voiceover): To be fair to Jenkins, he was drunk. Jenkins: See that, Martin? That was given to me by the King. Now. Are you gonna buy me a drink? Martin: You've had enough. Jenkins: Are you ashamed to drink with me? I understand that. I mean, what have you ever done for the wr? Huh. Bloody conchie. Elsie: Leave him, Tom. Jenkins: Leave him? Why should I leave him? You know, all those years I knew you, I never put you down as a coward. Martin: You're drunk. Jenkins: And in the morning I'll be sober and you'll still be a bloody coward. Martin: You don't know anything about me. Jenkins rushes over and grabs him by the front of his jumper. Jenkins: Half of my friends are dad. They drowned. They brned. You, you're skulking away up at Foxhall Farm as if the wr's nothing to do with you. If everyone was like you, Jerry'd been here years ago. Elsie: Tom! She pulls him away from Martin. Edith hurries over. Edith: Come on, Martin. Let's go home. Martin: You may have a medal, Tom Jenkins, but I know you for what you are. I don't give a damn about you. Jenkins: You wanna step outside? Martin stands up. Martin: I'll meet you any time, anywhere. I'm not afraid of you. Jenkins: All right, then. Midnight tonight. Down by the boat on the beach. You and me. Edith: Don't be silly. You don't have any reason to fight. Jenkins: Getting your big sister to look after you? That's brave. Martin: I'll meet you. Edith: No. Martin: You heard what he called me. Edith: It doesn't matter. Martin: I'm not a coward. Elsie: Just forget it, Tom. Come and have another drink. Jenkins: I'm waiting for an answer. Martin: You want someone to take you down to size, I'll do it. I'm fed up with you, Jenkins. We all are. Foyle's office. Milner: "I'm fed up with you, Jenkins. We all are." Half a dozen people heard him say it. Foyle: Not exactly proof of his guilt, though, is it? Milner: No. I agree. Foyle: Jenkins regularly accuse him of cowardice, or did this argument come out of nothing? Milner: Well, sir, they were both very drunk. Foyle: So they met? Milner: Yes. Flashback to Martin leaving Foxhall Farm in the dark. Milner (voiceover): Martin Ashford left Foxhall Farm just after eleven o'clock. He was carrying something. Martin pulls some kind of thin object out of his inner pocket. Milner (voiceover): It may have been a Knfe. He was seen leaving by the farmer. Brian watches Martin go. Milner (voiceover): A man called Brian Jones. He happens to be Thomas Jenkins' father-in-law. Elsie Jenkins is his daughter. Flashback to Jenkins waiting on the beach. Milner (voiceover): We know that Thomas Jenkins was on the beach at about 11:15. He was seen by a warden on his way home. As to what happened next... A figure in a dark coat approaches the beach. Jenkins: Well, well, well. So you turned up. Now there's a surprise. The figure sab Jenkins in the chest with some kind of sharp tool, then turns and runs, leaving the wapon sticking out of him. Foyle's office. Milner: According to the police doctor, the Knfe, whatever it was, entered between the third and fourth rib, slanting upwards into the heart. Foyle: That's very precise. Milner: Could have been someone with medical knowledge. Foyle: And the evidence, er, against Ashford, again, in a nutshell, is...? Milner: He was seen running away from the beach. Jenkins' blood was found later on his clothes. And the wapon was found in the woodland at Foxhall Farm. Foyle: Right. Milner: It doesn't look too good, does it, sir? Foyle: No. Sure you want to go on with this? Milner: Yes, sir. There's a knock on the door and Brooke enters. Brooke: Sorry to disturb you, gentlemen, but I, er, thought you might like to look at this. He hands Foyle a theft report. Brooke: When they said they were moving me out of London, I never expected anything like it. It's like something out of the Wild West. Cattle rustling. Er, six animals were taken while the farmer was in Hastings. Do you want me to send someone up there? Foyle: Er, no, we'll, um, we'll look into it. Thank you. Brooke: Whatever you say, sir. He spots the lightbulbs on the desk. Brooke: Are they for me? Foyle: Certainly are. Brooke: Ah. Well done, sir. He leaves with the bulbs. Foyle: What's he do with them? Milner is looking at the theft report. Milner: Foxhall Farm. Foyle nods. Foyle: Where's Sam? Foxhall Farm. A couple of chickens are on top of the parked car. Sam tries without much success to get them to get down. Sam: Get off! Come on, off! Go on. Shoo! Shoo! Farmhouse. Brian Jones leads Foyle in. Brian: You took your time. Foyle: I'm sorry? Brian: I was in Hastings yesterday and I couldn't have been there more than a few hours, and here's something you need to know. There was a car parked as I left. There were two men in it. Now I get to thinking about it, I get the feeling they were watching me. They were waiting for me to leave. Foyle: Mr Jones, I'm sorry, I'm not here about your livestock. Brian: I thought you were the police. Foyle: Yes, er, this is about, er, the death of Mr Jenkins. Brian: What, you're here about Ashford? Foyle: That's right. Er, he worked here? Brian: He helped out. He had a room. What more do you want to know? He was quiet, he was a very good worker. He kept himself to himself, really. Foyle: You saw him leaving that night with, er, some Knfe or other, apparently? Brian: He was carrying something long and narrow. I don't know what it was, it was dark. Foyle: Right. About, um, Thomas Jenkins? Er, your son-in-law, is that right? Brian: Yes. Foyle: Did you get on with him? Brian: Look, I've just had six head of cattle lifted from me in broad daylight. Jenkins is dad, Ashford's in jail. What more d'you need? Foyle: Did you get on with him? Brian: Of course I got on with him. He was married to my daughter. Foyle: Don't seem, erm, very affected by the, er, death of your son-in-law, if you don't mind me saying. Brian: You don't know what I feel, Mr Foyle, and I'm not going to tell you. Jenkins died out there on that beach. I suppose because somebody had a grudge against him. That's all there is to it. Now, what I'd like to know is, what are you going to do about my cows? Police station, Hythe. Leonard Cartwright paces in a waiting room. DCS Fielding enters. Fielding: Who are you? What do you want? Leonard: My name is Leonard Cartwright. Fielding: Cartwright, yes. The desk sergeant told me. Leonard: I served with Tom Jenkins on the Navarino. Fielding: Well, that's very nice for you, Mr Cartwright, but have you brought me any new information? Leonard: Are you the officer in charge of the investigation? Fielding: Yes. Leonard: Well, you're the one who arrested Martin Ashford. Fielding: Yeah. Leonard: Well, you've made a mistake. Fielding: Have I? Leonard: Please, Mr Fielding, hear me out. I owe my life to Tom Jenkins. You know he was decorated for bravery? I was- I was one of the people that he saved. Fielding: Go on. Leonard: I was floating in the water after, er, we'd been torpedoed and he, he helped me onto a raft. If he hadn't have done that, I'd have frozen to death. Fielding: I'd imagine, then, that you'd have every interest in wanting his kller brought to justice. Leonard: Well, that's exactly the point, yes, of course, but the thing is, you see, I know Martin Ashford. I mean, Hythe is a small place. Everyone knows everyone, and I know he couldn't possibly have committed this crime. Fielding: Were you with him at midnight on August the 5th? Leonard: No. Fielding: Well, were you on the beach? Did you see who did it? Leonard: No! Ashford and I are both Quakers. We went to the same meeting house. Fielding: You fought? Leonard: Yes, I gave up my religion when the wr began. With what was happening in the world, it just didn't seem relevant any more. Fielding: But he didn't. Leonard: He's a pacifist. Surely you can see what that means. He doesn't have it in him to kll. Fielding: Thank you for coming in, Mr Cartwright. Leonard: You haven't listened to me. It doesn't matter what I just said. Fielding: I have listened to you. You're wasting my time. He leaves. Foxhall Farm. Sam giggles as she makes a fuss of a goat through the barbed-wire fence. Sam: Hello, you. The barbed-wire twangs as she catches her right wrist on it. Sam: Ow! She stands up, inspecting the injury. Brian (offscreen): Six calves gone, disappeared into thin air. No one cares! I think it's a disgrace. He and Foyle come round the side of one of the buildings. Brian: There's a wr on. They're not just cattle, they're a vital resource. Foyle: I understand. This place certainly attracts a lot of traffic. Brian: What? What are you talking about? Foyle: Do you know who that is? Brian: Who? There's a car visible around the side of a building. Foyle (offscreen): Is that the car you've been talking about? Brian (offscreen): It might be. Foyle: Thank you. He approaches Sam. Foyle: Can you see that number? The car starts to drive way. Sam: BKR 721, sir. Foyle: Well done. Sam: Oh. it could have been 712, I'm not sure. Foyle: That's helpful. Check them both. You all right? What have you done? She's still holding her injured wrist. Sam: It's just a scratch, sir. It's nothing. She takes another look at the wound as they get in the car, then starts the engine. Test base. Marks Wilcox walks along a corridor. Mark (voiceover): Thank you for seeing me. He stands in front of the desk in Halliday's office. Halliday: My door's always open, Wilcox. How's Higgins? Mark: No change, I'm afraid. Halliday: So, what can I do for you? Mark: Well, Captain Halliday, it's about this business at Foxhall Farm. Halliday: Oh, yeah. Yes, I've seen the results of the test. Four of the animals were infected. Mark: Four out of the six, yes. Halliday: That's unfortunate. Mark: It's a little more than that, I think. Halliday: So, what have you done with them? Mark: We brned them. Halliday: Good. Mark: But the farm may still be infected. Halliday: Well, he had only the six cattle. Mark: He had chickens, dogs, God knows what else, but that's not the point. There are people there, too. I think we need to warn them. Halliday: No, you know that's out of the question, unless you want to start a flap across the entire south coast. Mark: You don't think that will happen anyway? Halliday: The situation's under control, Wilcox. That's all that matters for the moment. Mark: I'm sorry, sir, I don't agree. This thing only started because of complete incompetence right at the beginning. Halliday: I think you should be careful what you say. I am your commanding officer. Look, there's no need for us to fall out over this. We're on the same side. We both have the same aims. We're keeping an eye on Foxhall. And although I grant you we may have made a mistake, it looks as if we got away with it. Terrible about Higgins. Is he going to be all right? Mark: I'll let you know. Sir. He leaves. Jenkins house. Foyle walks up to knock on the front door. Elsie Jenkins answers it, a cardigan wrapped around her shoulders. Foyle: Mrs Jenkins? Elsie: Yes. Foyle: I'm a police officer. Could I have a word? She nods and lets him in. Sitting room. Elsie takes a seat, speaking rather haltingly. Elsie: You'll have to excuse me, Mr Foyle. I'm not feeling at all myself. I think I've picked up a summer cold. She coughs. Foyle: Are you on your own here? Elsie: I've sent Danny away. He's my son. He's staying with my mum. She stifles another cough. Foyle: Have you seen the doctor? Elsie: No, it'll pass. How can I help you? This is about Tom, isn't it? Foyle: Er, it is, yes. Elsie: Have you found the man who did it? Foyle: Well, a man's been arrested. Elsie: Martin Ashford didn't kll my husband. I told the other policeman that. I know him. His sister's a friend of mine, a good friend. I've known her all my life. Look, I was there when they had that stupid row in the King's Arms. It was all Tom's fault. He'd had a bit too much to drink, and he could be like that sometimes. Foyle: Didn't, er, Ashford thrat him? Elsie: Not really. If anything it was the other way round. But neither of them meant anything by it, that's what I'm trying to tell you. It was all just talk. Foyle: Tell me about, er, your husband. Elsie: He was very good to me. Kind. Generous. Foyle: Did you go to the Palace with him? Elsie: Of course I did. They say that twelve men were saved, thanks to him. I'm- I was very proud. She coughs again. Elsie: I'm sorry, Mr Foyle, I think I need to lie down. Foyle: Yes, I understand. You should see a doctor. Police station reception area, Hastings. Brooke is speaking on the phone as Foyle walks in. Brooke: Thank you. Bye. He puts the phone down. Brooke: Mr Foyle, you have Chief Superintendent Fielding waiting for you, sir. I put him in your office. Foyle: Thank you. Brooke: Not the most friendly of chaps, I wouldn't have said. Foyle: Well, neither am I. Brooke: Just tipping you the wink, sir, if you catch my drift. Foyle: I understand. Foyle walks on. As he passes Milner's office, Milner calls out to him. Milner: Sir. The car you saw outside Foxhall Farm belongs to a man called Henry Styles. Foyle: Anything on him? Milner: Nothing on record, but there might be a government connection. There aren't many private cars around now they've abolished the basic petrol ration. Foyle: You get an address? Milner: He's here in Hastings. Foyle: Good. He walks on and enters his office, where Fielding stands waiting. Foyle: Evening. Fielding: Haven't been here for a very long time. Foyle: No, you, um, used to drop in a lot more often. Drink? Fielding: What have you got? Foyle: Well, half an inch of Scotch. Fielding: I'll take it. Foyle: Thought you might. Fielding: I wanted to know how the investigation's going. Do you still think I've got the wrong man? Foyle: Did I say that? No, I told you exactly how I got involved and, erm, quite frankly, I'm beginning to regret it. Fielding: Why? Foyle: Well, it's clearly irritated you. Fielding: You still haven't answered the question. Foyle: Do I still think you've got the wrong man? Well... He gives Fielding his drink. Foyle: Let's sit down. There are certainly, erm, one or two things about it that struck me as odd. Fielding: Yes? Foyle: No one seems to give a damn about the mrder wr hero. They're all far too concerned about it, er, not being Martin Ashford who did it. Fielding: That's true. Foyle: The father-in-law, the wife. Fielding: They said the same when I spoke to them. Foyle: I was with the wife earlier, Jenkins's wife. Erm, not a photograph of her husband to be seen. Fielding: Well, it's too painful. She can't bear to see him. Foyle: Perhaps. Fielding: Are you going to stick with it? Foyle: Would you rather I stopped? Fielding: I'm retiring, you know. Foyle: I didn't know. Fielding: End of the year. I'm fed up with it, if you want the truth. Fed up with the whole thing. He coughs and takes a drink. Fielding: I've been in this job too long. Twenty-odd years, same as you. I don't see the point any more. So, it's time to go. I thought you might like this. He takes the mrder wapon out of an envelope. Fielding: It's the mrder wapon. It's called a trocar. Vets use them on cattle. Foyle takes it. Foyle: Do we know any vets? Fielding: I had a visit earlier today from a young man called Leonard Cartwright. He served with Jenkins on the Navarino and he's saying exactly the same thing. Jenkins was a good man, but Ashford didn't kll him, I've got it wrong. Foyle: And...? Fielding: His father's a vet. Foyle takes a look at the evidence tag on the trocar. Police reception area. Farnetti sits waiting on one of the benches. He gets up and goes over to look through the doors. He turns away, then turns back as Foyle comes out. Farnetti: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Good evening. You waiting for Sam? Farnetti: Yes, sir. We're supposed to be seeing a movie, but we're gonna be late. Foyle: What you gonna see? Farnetti: Er, Saboteur. I would have preferred a comedy but, er, Sam likes a good mystery. Foyle: Mmm, yeah, I've noticed. Sam comes in through the side door, looking tired. Sam: Joe. Farnetti: Hey! Er, we're going to be late. Foyle: You all right? Sam: Um, no, I'm not. Erm, Joe, I'm sorry, I'm going to have to stand you up, but I feel rotten. I think I've got flu. Farnetti: Let me- let me walk you home. Sam: It's all right, I'll... drive Mr Foyle home, then I'll drive myself. Foyle: You all right to drive? Sam: Absolutely. Foyle: Well, then drive yourself home and go to bed. I'll walk. Sam: Are you sure, sir? Foyle: Of course. Sam: Joe- Farnetti: It's okay, don't worry about it. Erm, I'll see you tomorrow. Sam leaves. Foyle: Which way are you going? A street in Hastings. Foyle and Farnetti walk along together. Farnetti: We're making good progress now, with the weather clearing up. It helps that the locals have stopped sh*ting at us. Foyle: So, you getting used to the English? Farnetti: Oh, I don't know if I'll ever do that, sir. You know, one of these days I'll come back here and open a business selling, er, heating and plumbing appliances. I think I'll make a fortune. Foyle: People being kind to you? Farnetti: Yes, very kind they are, sir. I should tell you, sir, my intentions towards Miss Stewart are completely honourable. Foyle: Well, you don't need to tell me that. Her father might be interested, though. Farnetti: The way she talks about you sometimes, you could almost be her father. Foyle: Well... Farnetti: She very much admires you, sir. Foyle: Yeah... So, you've been seeing a lot of each other, yeah? Farnetti: I've asked her to marry me. Foyle: Right. The crossroads! Farnetti: She hasn't given me an answer, but... Foyle stops outside his house. Foyle: Well, the very best to both of you, whatever she decides. Farnetti: Thank you, sir. Foyle: This is me. Farnetti: I'd better get back to base. Foyle: Right. Farnetti: Goodbye, sir. Foyle: Goodbye. Farnetti heads off across the road and Foyle climbs the steps to unlock the front door. A man passing by greets him. Man: Oh, good evening, Christopher. Foyle: Good evening. Farnetti: Did you get the book? Foyle: I did, thank you. Hospital. Doctor Brindley is walking through the corridors when Edith Ashford approaches, in her nursing uniform. Edith: Doctor. How is Mrs Jenkins? Brindley: You know her? Edith: She's a friend of mine. Brindley: She is not at all well, I'm afraid. Edith: She didn't look well when I saw her this morning. She said she had a cold. What's wrong? Brindley: At this stage I can't be sure. Emphysema, perhaps. I'll examine her again in the morning. Edith: Has her father been to see her? Brindley: He spent an hour with her this afternoon. He's worried sick, poor man. I can't blame him. I wish I knew what was wrong with her but I've never seen anything like it before. Edith: Can I see her? Brindley: Two minutes. No more. Edith walks into the ward and speaks to another nurse. Edith: (I've come to see Mrs Jenkins.) She approaches Elsie's bed. Edith: Elsie. Can you hear me? Elsie: Edie... Edith: They only told me just now you were here. Elsie: Have you seen him? Edith: Who? Elsie: Martin. Edith: Oh, don't worry about him, Elsie, not now. Where's Danny? Elsie: With my mum. I'm so ill. I, I don't know... I can't breathe. Edith: You're going to be fine. I've spoken to the doctor. He's gonna have another look at you tomorrow. Elsie: I'm frightened. Edith: Don't be. I'll stay with you. Elsie: What is it, Edie? What's wrong with me? Edith: It's flu. It's nothing. It's nothing serious. But as she clasps Elsie's hand, she notices dark blisters have formed all up Elsie's arm. A country lane. Brooke is driving Foyle along. Brooke: Miss Stewart didn't sound at all good this morning, sir. Very under the weather. I told her not to worry about anything. Suits me to get out from behind a desk once in a while. Foyle: Settling in? Brooke: Not really. It's, er, it's a bit too quiet down here, if you want the truth. But there you go. Foyle: Next left. Cartwright house. Ted (voiceover): Er, yes, of course I heard about the death of Tom Jenkins. It's a dreadful business He and Foyle are in the dining room. Ted: But I'm not sure how I can help you. Foyle takes the trocar out and unwraps it, setting it down on the table. Foyle: You recognise this? Ted: Why, yes, of course, it's, er, it's a trocar. Hang on. He picks it up. Ted: It's mine. Or it damn well looks like it. I lost it weeks ago. Where did you find it? Foyle: Well, I'm afraid it was used to, er, kll Tom Jenkins. Ted: No? Foyle: Where did you last see it? Ted: I don't know. Erm, I suppose it would have been Foxhall Farm, Brian Jones's place. One of his cows had bloat. A few days later I noticed it wasn't in my bag. The door opens and Leonard walks in. Ted: Len. This is a police officer. He's asking questions about Tom. This is my son. Foyle: How do you do? Leonard: Hello. Foyle: You, er, were on the Navarino together, I gather. Leonard: Yes. Who told you? Foyle: Is that how you got that? Leonard reaches up to touch his scar. Leonard: Er, yes, it, er, it happened when we went down. Foyle: How did it happen? Leonard: Uh... a piece of shrapnel, I think. I, I, I don't really know. It was all a bit of a mess. Ted: Len. You don't have to talk about it. Leonard: No, it's, it's all right, Dad. I, I want to. Um, we'd set off from Iceland, heading north. We were on damage duty, assigned to, er, protect merchant ships. 30 ships. Convoy PQ17. We were, um, we were heading for Murmansk, but the... well, the Jerries were at us more or less at once. There are phantom sounds from the battle as he tells his tale. Leonard: And erm... we managed to keep them off for a while but... on the third day they, they ht us. A Yank ship, the Christopher Newport, was, was one of the first to go down. I, er, I saw it. I didn't realise that we'd be next. It was, er, it was late in the day and a, well, a whole bunch of planes just came at us, fring God knows how many torpedoes, one of which ht the Navarino. I, I managed to make my way onto the deck. Tom, Tom had been on the bridge, and, er... and the next thing I knew I was- I was in the water and it was... it was dark and it was cold. Ice. Ice-cold. I've, I've never been so cold. They say that you could last half an hour in the water if... well, if you weren't pulled out after that, you'd, you'd freeze to death. Erm... And Tom, Tom found me. He managed to get me onto a life-raft and, er, well, that was that. Foyle: You mention that to the police? Leonard: Oh, yes, to Superintendent Fielding. Foyle: Mmm. Leonard: We, we wanna know who klled Tom, we all do. But at the same time, I know it can't have been Martin. I mean, it, it just doesn't make sense. Hospital. Mark Wilcox walks in and stops Doctor Brindley as he sees him passing. Mark: Excuse me, I understand you have a patient here, a young woman from Foxhall Farm? Brindley: I don't- Mark: Elsie Jenkins. Brindley: Oh, yes, she works on a farm, I believe. She lives in Hythe. Mark: I wonder if I might be able see her. Brindley: Are you a relative? Mark: A friend. Brindley: I'm afraid she's not well enough to see anyone at the moment. Mark: Can I at least look in on her for a moment? It is very important. Brindley: I'm sorry, I've just explained. Mrs Jenkins is too ill to see anyone. He walks away. Henry Styles's house. Brooke, Foyle and Milner pull up outside in the car. Brooke: Here we are, sir. They all get out. Foyle: He rents this place, does he? Milner: Yes, sir, just the ground floor. Foyle knocks and Henry Styles answers. Foyle: Good morning. Mr Styles? Styles: Yes? Foyle: Wonder if we could have a word? We're from the police. Styles immediately slams the door. Brooke: Check the back, sir? Foyle: Yeah. Brooke runs around the back after Styles. Brooke: Hold on, you! He manages to grab the back of his jacket, but Styles knocks him away and punches him before running on. Foyle and Milner arrive round the corner as Brooke is straightening up. Milner: What happened? Brooke points at where Styles is running off. Brooke: He got away. Wasn't expecting him to- Milner chases short way, but gives up. Foyle: Are you hurt? Milner: Just my pride, sir. Sorry, I'm a bit off my patch. Foyle: Hmm. Yes, it's a bit quiet here, isn't it? Where did he come from? Brooke: The back door. Inside. Foyle flips through one of several notebooks next to a typewriter. Foyle: A writer. A journalist, perhaps? Milner is looking at the bookshelves across the room. Milner: I'll check the local papers. Scientist, maybe? "Science and wr". "Science and World Order". I wonder what he was so afraid of. Well, he won't get far. Foyle finds a Quaker meeting calendar being used as a bookmark in one of the notebooks. Foyle: The same meeting house as... Milner: Martin Ashford? They're both Quakers. Styles was watching the farm where Ashford lived. He may have been there when the cows were stolen. Foyle examines a set of typewritten pages. Milner: German. Foyle: "Luft Gas Angriff". We should find this man. Hospital ward. Elsie wheezes, struggling to breathe. Edith leans over her. Elsie: dad... Edith: Elsie. Elsie: dad! dad in the... Edith: It's all right. Elsie: In the road. Edith: What's in the road? Elsie: The sheep. Edith: Don't talk. Elsie: dad in... Elsie goes into a seizure. Edith lays her flat on her back and runs out of the ward. Edith: Doctor Brindley! Elsie continues to seize. Milner office. Foyle stops in the doorway to talk to Milner. Foyle: Any word? Milner: From Sam, sir? No. Foyle: Right, I'm getting worried now. Get somebody over there, check she's all right, would you? Milner nods. Brooke (offscreen): Sir? He arrives with a note. Brooke: Er, I found this out the front. It's addressed to you. Foyle: See who, um, delivered it? He sniffs the envelope before opening it. Brooke: No, sir. Was slipped under the door. Foyle: Right. Thank you. Brooke walks away. Foyle sniffs the letter again, then shows it to Milner. Foyle: What d'you make of that? Milner: "I saw Tom Jenkins die. It was a tall man on the beach, blond hair. He had a Knfe." Foyle: Not exactly a description of Martin Ashford. Milner sniffs the letter. Milner: And there's some sort of chemical. Ether, perhaps? Could be from a hospital. Foyle: Edith's a nurse, isn't she? Milner nods. Foyle leaves. Hospital. Edith is in the hallway talking to another nurse, and turns as she sees Milner arrive. Milner: Edie, is there somewhere we can talk? Hospital office. Edith: I didn't send this. Why would I have sent it? Milner: Well, if it's true, it exonerates your brother. Edith: Why can't it be true? Maybe it is. Milner: I'd like to think so. Edith: But? Milner: The description. Tall, blond hair. The exact opposite of Martin. It's as if someone was deliberately trying to throw us off-track. Edith: You think it was me? Milner: The paper's been in contact with some sort of chemical. Ether. She sniffs it. Edith: It's not just hospitals that use ether. Milner: Edie, when you first came to me you said that you'd do anything for Martin. Edith: It's true, I would. Milner: Then why don't you tell me the truth? Edith: I have! Milner: No, you haven't. I asked you if Martin was involved with anyone and you said he wasn't. Edith: Are you calling me a liar? Milner: Yes, I am. I could tell, Edie. People lie to me all the time, it's part of my job. Edith: You've changed. Milner: You came to me for help. You knew how I felt about you and you used me. Edith: No! Milner: Was Elsie Jenkins having an affair with your brother? The way that Tom and Martin argued at the King's Arms, there was no reason for it. It just sprang up out of nowhere and suddenly there they were, thrat each other. There had to be something else, some other animosity between them. It's the only way to make sense of what happened. Edith: Yes. Milner: For how long? Edith: A year. While Tom was away. Milner: And why didn't you tell me? Edith: I thought... I thought you'd think that was why Martin klled him. Milner: Did you write this? Edith: No. I promise you. Milner: That's all I need to know. He goes to leave. Edith: Where will you go now? Milner: I have to speak to Elsie Jenkins. Edith: You can't. I thought you knew. I assumed that was why you were here. Milner: Knew what? Edith: Elsie was ill. She had some kind of pneumonia. She came in last night. And this morning... she died. Milner walks along the corridor with Doctor Brindley. Milner: What did she die of? Brindley: We still don't know. It was a respiratory illness, pulmonary fever, perhaps. But there were also blisters on the skin which I didn't recognise. Woolsorter's disease is a possibility. There'll have to be a full inquest. Milner: There've been no other cases? Brindley: No, thank God. Milner: Can you tell me anything she might have said that would tell you how she contracted it? Brindley: No. Right at the end, she was saying something about a sheep. That's what made me think of woolsorter's disease. Her father has a farm, I believe. Milner: Can you tell me exactly what she said? Brindley: Oh, was nothing exact about it. She mentioned a sheep in the road. She said she tried to lift it, I think. That's about all there was to it. Milner: Right. Thank you. Police interview room, Hythe. Foyle is there to speak to Martin. Foyle: I have some very bad news for you. Elsie Jenkins, er, I understand you were close. She became very ill and was admitted to hospital. She died this morning. Martin: What? Foyle: And I'm sorry. Martin: What happened to her? Foyle: They don't know. Martin: dad? Foyle: They did what they could. Martin: Elsie. Foyle: When did your affair begin? Your sister told us. Martin: A year ago in the summer. Foyle: Starting an affair with a woman whose husband's away fighting a wr is not exactly the sort of behaviour that endears people to pacifists, is it? Martin: I knew the truth about Tom Jenkins. I knew what he was doing to Elsie. He was a brute. He drank. He was a bully. He bat her. Even when she was expecting his baby. Foyle: It is his? Martin: Yes. She's not really dad? You're lying to me. This is some sort of trick. Foyle: Listen, we don't have to talk about this now. I can come back. Martin: No. I've been sat in this stinking room long enough. I'll tell you. She didn't want me to fight. She tried to stop me. Flashback to the two of them at the King's Head. Elsie: Don't go to the beach. He's just looking for the excuse. Martin: We can't go on like this. We've got to have it out. Elsie: Please, Martin. I'm begging you. I know him. I know what he's like. If you fight him, you won't walk away. Martin: I can look after myself. Elsie: He'll kll you. Martin: He can try. Elsie: Oh, God. Why did I have to meet him? How could I let myself- Martin kisses her. Martin (voiceover): I went back to Foxhall Farm and got a torch. Flashback to Martin leaving the farm. Martin (voiceover): I didn't want to go there in the dark. He arrives at the beach. Martin (voiceover): It must have been about twenty past eleven when I arrived. I started making my way over to the boat and I heard someone running away. There's the sound of running feet and Martin points the torch. Martin: Jenkins! He shines the torch around and sees Jenkins lying bleeding on the beach. Jenkins: Elsie. Jenkins falls back, dad. Interview room. Martin: "Elsie". That was all he said. Foyle: So, you thought she'd klled him. Martin: He spoke her name. Foyle: And you took the Knfe? Martin: Yes. I wanted to protect her. Foyle: Is that how you got the blood on your clothes? Martin: Yes. Foyle: And you hid it? Martin: At Foxhall Farm. Foyle: Leonard Cartwright, um, know him? Martin: Yes, of course I know him. He went to the same meeting house. But then he left. He joined up. Foyle: Still friends? Martin: Yes. We had different beliefs, that's all. Foyle: Henry Styles mean anything to you? Martin: I remember seeing him. I don't think we ever spoke. Listen, can I see her? Foyle: Well... you've been obstructing a police enquiry, but I'll see what I can do. Martin: I wasn't gonna let them arrest her. Foyle: I'm sorry. He leaves. Henry Styles is driving along through the woods, and comes to a halt at a Home Guard roadblock. Home Guard: So, where are you going, sir? Styles: To London. Home Guard: On what business? Styles: Er, it, it's private. Home Guard: I'm afraid that's not good enough, sir. Can I see your identity papers? Styles: Er, er, no, you don't understand. I, I can't stay here. Home Guard: Sir, could you get out of the car? Styles throws the car into reverse and starts to drive away. The two Home Guards aim their rfles at him and he stops. Hospital. Sam staggers in through the entrance in civilian clothes, panting for breath. Edith approaches her. Edith: Are you all right? Sam: I think I need to see a... doctor. She grabs onto Edith for support, and Edith helps guide her down to the ground. Sam: (Sorry.) As another nurse rushes over to join them, Edith sees that Sam has the same kind of blisters on her hand that Elsie had. Brooke drives Foyle to the hospital. They screech to a halt outside and Foyle gets out almost before the car stops, hurrying up the steps. Brindley (voiceover): She's very seriously ill, I'm afraid. He and Foyle stand in the hospital corridor. Brindley: I should warn you that we had another young woman in here just 24 hours ago, seemingly with the same condition, and I'm afraid she didn't make it. Hospital ward. Sam is lying in bed. She turns her head as Foyle arrives. Sam: Oh, hello, sir. She starts to try and sit up. Foyle: Don't. Don't. Don't move. How are you? Sam: I think I'm going to need a couple of days off work, sir. Foyle: What, as many as that? Sam: I think I've got flu. I don't know about these, though. She looks at the blisters on right her arm. Foyle sees the cut on her wrist. Foyle: Do you remember doing that? Sam: At Foxhall Farm. Foyle: How did you do it? Sam: I cut my wrist on some barbed wire. Do you think I've got an infection? Foyle: Well, just rest and, erm, let these people look after you, hmm? Sam: Righto, sir. Foyle: Couple of days, no more, all right? He turns to leave the ward. Hospital corridor. Farnetti rushes in and hurries over to Foyle. Farnetti: I only just got word. Now, where is Sam? Foyle: Well, I've just been with her. She's, erm... Farnetti: And? Foyle: Well, she's very ill. Speak to the doctor. Farnetti: What's wrong with her? Foyle: Er, they don't seem to know. Farnetti: Mr Foyle? Am I gonna lose her? Foyle: Speak to the doctor. He leaves. Outside. Milner is just getting out of a car as Foyle comes down the steps. Milner: Sir, they found Styles. He was trying to leave Hastings. Picked up by the Home Guard. Foyle: Where is he? Milner: He's at the station. The two of them get into Foyle's car and Sergeant Brooke drives them away. Police interview room, Hastings. Styles is sitting at the table as Foyle walks in. Foyle: Need your help. Styles: I'm not saying anything. Foyle: There's a young woman very ill in a hospital in Hastings, and I think you know what's wrong with her. She's very ill as a result of cutting herself on barbed wire at Foxhall Farm. She's got a fever, she has difficulty breathing, and I need your help because another woman at the same hospital with the same symptoms has just died. Styles: This is some sort of ploy to get me to talk. Foyle: No, it's not. Styles: I know who you are. You want me to disappear. I know why you came to my house. Foyle: I came to your house because a man had been mrder, and although this has nothing to do with you, we believe you could well know the person arrested for it. You're a Quaker, aren't you? We think you use the same meeting house as this person. Martin Ashford. Look, whether you did or you didn't, it's irrelevant. The only reason you're here is because we need your help. Styles: How did you know where I lived? Foyle: I saw your car at Foxhall Farm. We got your address from the registration number. Styles: What were you doing there? Foyle: I was there for the same reason I was at your house. Martin Ashford. He was having an affair with a woman who worked there. The same woman that has just died from the same condition contracted at the same farm as this woman who now needs your help. Styles hesitates for a while. Styles: Erm... does she, er, have black sores on her face or her arms? Foyle: Yes. Styles: anthrx. Foyle: anthrx? Styles: It's a living bacterium. A spore-forming microbe found in the soil. It, it can be cultivated and then used. It's an invde. Erm, you put it into a hostile environment and it curls itself up into a little ball and protects itself. It, it develops an outer skin. It's very sab. Heat and, er, light can't hurt it. It survives for years. Also, it kills. That's why they want it. Foyle: Who? Styles: They wanted me to work for them but I said no. I wasn't having any of it. What's the world coming to if we allow such things, hmm? Death by disease and invisible Kllers. It's less than human. It makes us worse than the nzi. Foyle: These two women have been infected at the same farm. Could they have a, a laboratory? Some sort of base nearby? Styles: I've been watching them. I followed them up to that farm. They, they can't even control the infection. They're incompetent. Foyle: Where do I find them? A roadblock, manned by members of the regular army. A car pulls up in front and Foyle gets out. Guard: I'm sorry. There's no admittance beyond this point. Foyle: You have a commanding officer here, name of Halliday. I want to speak to him. Guard: I'm afraid that's not possible, sir. Foyle: Well, there's been an outbreak of anthrx in Hastings and he's responsible for it. If I'm not in his office within the next two minutes, I'll be back with the army, the police, the Home Guard and the press. D'you feel able to convey this to him at your earliest opportunity? Guard: Sir. Halliday's office. Foyle is there with him and Mark Wilcox. Halliday: I don't need to tell you that if you repeat anything you hear, the world will fall in on you from a very great height. Foyle: Will it? Halliday: No, no. You don't understand. This is not just classified. It's not just another secret of the wr. Not even the Prime Minister knows what we're doing here. It's true. They haven't told him yet. Hopefully they'll never have to. Foyle: Right, well, what you don't understand is that I don't care what falls on me from a very great height. Neither do I care who doesn't know what. I know that you're responsible for the death of one young woman and the potential death of another and unless you tell me exactly what's happened, everybody's going to know at least as much as I do. Mark: There was an accident. We were experimenting with a flock of sheep. Foyle: What does that mean, exactly? Mark: We klled them. We were then asked to send the carcasses to another establishment for testing. I was against it from the start. Halliday: Hardly relevant. Mark: One of them fell off the lorry. We knew at once what had happened when a count was made, but by then the infected animal had been taken to a farm. We kept the farm under observation and when the cattle fell ill, we moved in and removed them. We wanted to stop the infection spreading. Foyle: And what infection is this? Mark: We're talking about a toxin that goes by the name of anthrx. If you breathe it in, you're 99% certain to die almost at once. Cutaneous infection, through the skin, is less rapid. Foyle: But still fatal? Mark: That depends. Foyle: On what? Mark: We're not sure. The general health and fitness of the victim can make all the difference. Foyle: And this stuff is being developed for what? For the wr? Halliday: The French were developing it before us. When the Germans invde France, all their expertise fell into nzi hands. Mark: The Germans were experimenting with bacteriological wapon on the Paris Metro and London Underground systems almost ten years ago. At least, that's what we believe. Halliday: Retaliation, Mr Foyle. They do it to us, we must be prepared to do it to them. Foyle: Right. You've, er, developed this stuff. What's the cure? Mark: Higgins may be able to help you. Foyle: Who's he? Mark: Simon Higgins. He's an epidemiologist. He knows more about this than almost anyone. Foyle: Is he here? Halliday: You're not speaking to Higgins, not without my authority. Foyle: Oh, I see. Why would that be? Halliday: And let you go ploughing in with your damn fool questions and moral outrage? Maybe you should try and understand us a bit more. The Germans bmb London. They bmb London for months and months. They smashed buildings, churches, hospitals, totally indiscriminate and what about the victims? If they weren't klled immediately, they lay there in the wreckage burnt, limbs missing, in terrible pain and what of course happened to them? The sewage and water systems were smashed up and not surprisingly, a great many of them got blood poisoning. Foyle: The point being what? Halliday: Why not go straight to the blood poisoning? Easier all round. Less expensive. Less long-term damage. I think if people knew what we were trying to do here, they might be grateful. Foyle is silent for a long moment. Foyle: Where's Higgins? Base infirmary. Foyle and Mark stand by Simon in his hospital bed. Simon: Streptomycin. Foyle: What's that? Simon: If there are any traces of anthrx left on her skin, it'll kll her. She should be washed, thoroughly washed and she needs a large dose of streptomycin. It's not by any means infallible but it has just occasionally done the trick. Foyle: They gonna have this stuff at the hospital? Simon: Maybe not. We keep supplies here. Mark? Mark: I'll be right back. He leaves. Simon: Mr Foyle? Foyle: Yes. Simon: I'm very sorry. This is all MY fault. Foyle: Is it? Simon: Well, I'm team leader here. But I was a little careless. I was testing a new compound, what we call organophosphate. Nerve gas. Foyle: What, on yourself? Simon: Yes. Ten minutes in the gas chamber. But I must have been in there a couple of minutes too long, 'cause I seem to have blinded myself. Temporarily, I think. Although it has been two weeks now. Anyway, it means I wasn't on hand to oversee the anthrx trials. Halliday is a complete BF. The carcasses should never have left the area. Are you going to try and expose us, Mr Foyle? We tried to recruit Styles. He was with us at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine. But it drove him mad. I expect they'll make him disappear in the end. I wouldn't want them to do the same to you. Mark returns. Mark: Here you are. He hands Foyle a bottle of streptomycin. Mark: It's fairly straightforward. The doctors will know what to do. Simon: I hope your friend's all right. It's a nasty world, isn't it? But we are doing this for our country, you know. The same as everyone else. Mark: I'll show you out. Foyle: Thank you. He and Mark leave. Hospital. Brooke waits by the car outside. Inside, Foyle walks along with Doctor Brindley. Brindley: I've already given her a sht of streptomycin. Where did you get it, by the way? Foyle: And how long before we know whether it's worked? Brindley: I'll wait a few hours then give her another one. I'll double the dose if I have to. Foyle: And then? Brindley: Well, there's nothing more I can do. I've got to be honest with you, Mr Foyle, at this point it could go either way. Either the fever will break and she'll begin to breathe properly, or... Hospital ward. Foyle stands watching by Sam's bedside as her laboured breathing goes on. A road through the woods. Brooke drives Foyle and Milner along. Milner: It doesn't seem to be the sort of thing we should be doing, given the circumstances, sir. Foyle: Well, we might as well. There's little else we can do. Milner: I can't believe she might die. She'll pull through, won't she, sir? Cartwright house. Leonard turns at the sound of the door. Ted (offscreen): Please come in. Foyle: Thank you. Afternoon. He enters, followed by Milner. Leonard: Afternoon. Foyle: Er, you know why I'm here? Ted: No. No, I've no idea. Foyle and Milner both turn to look at Leonard. Leonard: Is this about Tom Jenkins? Foyle: Amongst other things, yes. We wondered why you wouldn't have bothered to have, erm, signed this. He takes out the note that was slipped under the station door. Foyle: I mean, perfectly reasonable information. He hands it to Leonard. Milner: Tall man on a beach. Blond hair. Leonard: I- Foyle: Just couldn't understand why you wouldn't want to take credit for that. Leonard: That's not... Foyle: It's yours, isn't it? Leonard: How can you be so sure? Foyle: Well, you sent it to me. Ted takes the note from Leonard. Foyle: Only very few people know that I'm, er, connected with this investigation and it wasn't any of them unless, of course, it was... He looks at Ted. Ted: No, no, it's not. Milner: There are also traces of ether on it, which we assumed meant it had come from a hospital. Ted sniffs the note. Milner: But we understand you, as a vet, use ether regularly. Foyle: One good reason, of course, for not, er, signing it is because, um, you didn't give this information to the police at Hythe, isn't that right? Leonard: Look, all right, I wrote that letter but- Foyle: Why did you go to see them in the first place? Leonard: Well, Martin Ashford being arrested was all wrong. He wouldn't kll anyone. I, I, I just knew that they'd got the wrong man. Foyle: How could you be sure of that? Because you're the right one? Why did, er... Jenkins try to kll you? Leonard: Did he? Foyle: Well, he tried to sht you, didn't he? When you were both on board the Navarino? That's how you got that, isn't it? Leonard: I told you that this was, erm, this was shrapnel. Foyle: Well, I think we both know what a shrapnel wound looks like. It's not a shrapnel wound. There's a moment of silence. Leonard: How do you know it was him? Foyle: Because he was the only one on board with a gn. I mean, no one on board merchant vessels, including Royal Navy officers on DEMS duty, is permitted to carry firearms. Only one small firearm is, er, kept on the bridge which is where, as you said, he was on duty. I mean, he sht, er, hinges off a door with it, he got a medal for using it and he tried to kll you with it, didn't he? Leonard: Yes. Foyle: Is that why you klled him? Leonard: Yes. Ted: Len. Leonard: It's all right, Dad. This has gone on long enough. He sits down. Leonard: Jenkins was a bastard. He was a bully and a coward and he nearly klled me when the Navarino went down. All he wanted was to save his own skin. Ted: But they gave him a medal. Leonard: He used his gn to sht down a door. He wouldn't have done it if he hadn't been trying to save himself. And it was worse than that. You have no idea. After the ship went down, it was... oh, it was hell. Flashback to Leonard in the sea amid the flaming debris. Leonard (voiceover): I suddenly found myself in the water and it was- it was cold. It was ice. I could feel myself freezing. And then I- and then I saw him. Jenkins lies atop a piece of floating wood nearby. Leonard (voiceover): He was out of the water. You, you had to be out of the water if you were gonna survive. Leonard swims towards him. Leonard: Jenkins! Help me! Jenkins: I can't. I can't move. It's gonna overturn. He shoves Leonard away as he tries to climb aboard. Jenkins: Go away. Leonard: Give me a hand, for God's sakes, man! Help me! Jenkins: Move! It's going to overturn. He keeps trying to kick Leonard off. Leonard: Get me out of the water! Jenkins: Get away. Leonard: Please, help me! Jenkins: Get off me! Get off me! He draws his gn and takes a sht at Leonard. Leonard goes under, and Jenkins continues to cling to the wreckage. Cartwright house. Leonard: That's the last thing I remember. I should have died. I don't know why I didn't. Someone pulled me into a lifeboat and that's how I made it home. Ted: He did that? Leonard: Yes, Dad. Ted: Well, why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you go to the authorities? Leonard: It was his word against mine. No one else saw. Ted: Well, you could have told me. Leonard: I wanted to, Dad, but I couldn't. You thought the world of him, just like everyone else. The DSM, Buckingham Palace. Oh, everyone pretending when they knew all along he was a swine. Ted: So, you klled him? Leonard: Yes, Dad. Flashback to Leonard taking the trocar from his father's case. Leonard (voiceover): I took a Knfe, the trocar, out of your bag. Erm, I didn't even care if you found out it was me. I... Flashback to Jenkins waiting on the beach. Leonard (voiceover): I knew where he drank and I followed him when he came out. Leonard approaches, trocar in hand. Jenkins: You. Leonard: You bastard! He sab Jenkins and Jenkins collapses to the ground. Leonard runs away just as Martin in arriving. Martin: Jenkins! He spots Jenkins and runs over to shine his torch on him. Leonard (voiceover): Of course, I couldn't let another man hang for what I'd done. Cut back to Cartwright house. Leonard: Especially not Martin. That's, erm, why I went to see Fielding and that's why I wrote you that letter. Ted: Len... Leonard: Dad. Please, don't make this any harder. He turns to Foyle and Milner. Leonard: I'm, I'm ready to go with you. Milner: There's a car waiting outside. Milner heads him out. Ted: Mr Foyle. They gave the medal to the wrong man. My son was serving his country. He was nearly klled in action. And this man, this... this Jenkins. If there's any man on this planet who got what he deserved, it was him. Foyle: Perhaps. Ted: So what's the point in arresting him? He's had his orders. He's meant to report to his new ship in two days' time. What good is it going to do, locking him up when his country needs him? Foyle: None at all. None at all, Mr Cartwright. He turns to leave. Police station. Milner comes out of his office just as Brooke walks through into the back. Brooke: Any news about Miss Stewart? Milner: Still no change. Brooke: Are you seeing her this weekend? Milner: Tomorrow. Brooke: Say hello from me. As Milner steps out into the reception area, Edith walks in. Edith: Paul. Milner: Edie. Edith: I hoped I'd find you. Can I have a word? Milner: Of course. The two of them walk through the streets together. Edith: They've released Martin. Milner: Good. I'm glad. Edith: What will happen to him, the man who really did it? Milner: I can't say. But I don't think he'll be hanged. Edith: Tom Jenkins was a horrible man. I know what he did to poor Elsie. Milner: Why didn't you tell me? Edith: I don't know. Maybe because you're with the police. Maybe I was afraid to. I mean, he was a hero. Anyway, that's why I've come to see you now. To apologise. And not just for that. There's something else I wanted to say. I wanted to tell you at the hospital, but... we got it wrong, didn't we, all those years ago? Milner: Don't. Edith: Why not? I knew Jane was wrong for you. I didn't understand why you went with her. But I didn't say anything because I was too young, and I was shy... and I watched you walk away from me. But I'm not going to let you leave me again. She lays a hand on his jacket, and he covers it with his. They kiss. Pub. Fielding brings a drink over to Foyle. Fielding: There you go. Thank you for coming. I owe you an apology. Foyle: Do you? Fielding: Yeah. I arrested the wrong man. And when you turned up I treated you like you were the one who didn't know what he was doing. Foyle: Well. Fielding: You know, there's one thing I couldn't understand. Why did Jenkins say his wife's name when he died? Foyle: Did he? Fielding: Yeah. Well, it seems... odd. There was no love lost between them, and yet his dying words were "Elsie". Foyle: Elsie, or... LC? Fielding: LC. Leonard Cartwright, of course! Foyle: Well, it's just a thought. Fielding: Yes. How long ago was it when I met you? How old were we? 21? 22? Young soldiers off to the wr. It was a different world then. Course, we... we didn't know what we were going to go through. Foyle: Well, we got through it. Fielding: You may have. Not me. I never told you. April, 1915. Ypres. I was there with a bunch of Canadians. It was just a day like any other, which is to say, pretty hellish at the best of times. Then I saw it coming towards us. A cloud, green. Almost... luminescent. It was completely silent, moving as if it had a life of its own. We didn't run. Nobody even moved. We'd no idea what it was. And then the pain. There were people screaming. Coughing blood, tearing at their own faces. Blind. Nobody knew what was happening. I mean, how could we? You see, that was the first time. The Bosch released 170 tons of chlorine gas. Do you know what the operation was called? Disinfection. Well, they disinfected us, all right. I was one of the lucky ones. I still feel it inside now. Still burning inside me. Foyle: But we won. And we came through it. Fielding: Did we? Look around you, Christopher. There's so much evil, so much bad blood. Humanity stinks. I just want to go somewhere quiet and watch the sunset. You'll go on fighting, I know you will, but I've had enough. Hospital, night. Farnetti sits on a seat in a darkened corridor. Foyle arrives. Foyle: Joe. Farnetti stands up. Farnetti: Mr Foyle, sir. Foyle: How long have you been here? Farnetti: A while. Foyle: You seen her? Farnetti: Er, no. I've been in a few times, but she's been asleep. Er, sir, I really can't stay any more. I gotta get back to base. Foyle: No, that's all right. Go. I'll stay with her. Farnetti leaves and Foyle heads into Sam's ward. Ward. Foyle approaches Sam's hospital bed. She's no longer struggling to breathe, and seems to be asleep. As he turns to go, she lifts her head. Sam: Hello. Foyle: Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. Sam: I wasn't asleep. Foyle: Oh. Well, um... Joe's out here. He just left. Do you want me to, um...? Sam: No. He's been so kind and, and everything but... I really can't see him just now. Foyle: Right. How you feeling? Sam: Pretty awful, actually. Foyle: Well, the doctors seem to think you're on the mend. Sam: Really? Foyle: Mmm. Sam: Good. Because... I've been thinking, sir. Foyle: What, again? You should try and resist, you know. You can see where it gets you. Sam: Yes. Perhaps. He sits down beside the bed. Sam: But, um, no, really, I, I have been thinking. About whether... Foyle: Crossroads? Sam: Yes. That's right. Would you say I'm... sort of... well, quite a useful sort of person to have on the team, sir? Foyle: I would. Sam: Would you? Foyle: Yes. I'd go as far as to say you were, um... you were an invaluable part of the team. Sam: You think so? Foyle: I do. Sam: Good. 'Cause in that case I think it's better that I go straight through the crossroads and don't take any turns at all. Foyle: Right. Well, I'm pleased. Sam: So, you here to take me back to work, then? Foyle: Absolutely. Sam: Good. Foyle: Can't go anywhere without you. Sam: Jolly good.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "04x02 - Bad Blood"}	foreverdreaming
An alarm clock rings. Grace Phillips reaches over from the bed to shut it off. She sits up and turns the lamp on. Her boyfriend Harry Osborne stirs as she starts getting dressed. Harry: What time is it? Grace: Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to wake you up. Harry: I'm cold. Come back to bed. Grace: I can't. It's half six. Harry: Give us a kiss. She gives him a quick kiss that turns into a longer one, then pulls away from him. Grace: I can't. I told you. Harry: So this is what it's going to be like, is it, when me and you is married? Grace: I won't work. Not after the wr. Harry: This bleedin' wr. Can't end bloody soon enough. He sits up to give her another kiss. Harry: You're a wonderful girl, you know that, Grace. Couldn't live without you. You're my best girl. She continues getting dressed. Grace: Harry... Harry: What? Grace: We need to talk. Harry: What about? Grace: You know what about. Harry: Oh, we've already talked about that. Grace: I know, but I just- Harry: Not now, Gracie. You've got to get to work. Go on. Hop it. She goes to get her coat. Harry: Oi! Grace: What? Harry: You forgetting something? Grace: Oh. I'd forget me own head if it wasn't screwed onto me shoulders. Harry: You heard what the quack said. You gotta look after yourself. Grace tips some powder from an envelope into a glass and pours water onto it. Harry: I tell you what, how about you and me meet for tea at the Corner House after work? Grace drinks the mixture. Grace: Can you afford it? Harry: You can pay. Grace: Harry! Don't let Mr Johnson see you on your way out. Outside. Grace rides her bicycle amid a group of other workers. She looks a little queasy as she rides. CAPTION: DECEMBER 1942 Munitions factory. Workers are arriving for the day. A coach pulls up outside, and an older woman, Hilda Greenwood, is among those getting off. Hilda: Thanks, Stan. Have a nice day. Ooh, it's cold. Ooh. Bye-bye. Factory changing rooms. Women swap their outdoor clothes for their work overalls. Hilda: Ooh, here they are. I thought you'd taken them again. I know you. Grace is getting changed next to Hilda. Hilda: Down in the dumps? Grace: Yeah. Hilda: Cheer up, love. It's not as bad as all that down in this dump, eh? Don't tell me old Adolf's had another go at you. Grace: Oh, I haven't seen him, not yet. Hilda: Someone ought to tell him he's on the wrong side. I reckon he'd go down a treat in Berlin. Another young woman, Phyllis Law, is on Grace's other side. Phyllis: The trouble with Eddie is he was wearing the wrong jersey when the whistle went. Grace sits down on the bench. Hilda: You all right, dear? You're looking a bit peaky. Grace: Just tired, I think. Phyllis: Come on, Grace. You're gonna make us late. Grace stands up and pulls her overalls on. Factory floor. Hilda operates machinery. A woman wheels a batch of shells along on a trolley. Women file in, raising their arms and turning for a man to inspect them. Phyllis makes her turn and goes to walk on, but is stopped by the man doing the inspections. Inspector: Sir. Works manager Eddie Baker comes over. He pulls a pin from Phyllis's hair. Baker: So what's this, then? Phyllis: It looks like a hairpin. Baker: It doesn't look like a hairpin. It is a hairpin. What's it doing here? Phyllis: I'm sorry, Mr Baker, I missed it, all right? Baker: No. It's not all right, Miss Law. You want this to fall into a machine and make a spark? You want to blow yourself and the rest of us to smithereens? Phyllis: It's one hairpin. I didn't see it. I'm sorry. Baker: Next time I find one of these, I'm gonna dock you five shillings. Now, get in there. Phyllis moves on. Behind her, Grace stands with her head sagging. Baker: Come on, Grace. Wakey, wakey. All right? Grace passes the inspection and moves on. Shell-filling room. Grace and Phyllis are working at adjacent stations. Grace unscrews a shell casing and inserts an explsive pellet. She's sweating and a little clumsy. Beside her, Phyllis gets up. Phyllis: Grace, I might as well get that other one now. She leaves. Grace is still sweating and beginning to look faint. She drops the shell casing in her hand and it falls onto an explsive pellet. Her workstation explodes. Factory floor. There are screams, and Hilda looks round at the sound. Woman (offscreen): Oh, not again! Not again! The workers all go running. OPENING CREDITS Milner and Edith Ashford are walking along a street hand-in-hand. Edith: I was wondering. We all go to my parents' in Haslemere. My sisters'll be there, and Martin of course. I was wondering if you'd like to come. Milner: Edie. Edith: Well, you haven't got any family, have you? Milner: No. Edith: Well, you don't want to be on your own at Christmas. I've spoken to Mother and she'd love to see you again. And you'd just be there as a friend of the family. Milner: I'd love to. Edith: Would you? Milner: Yes. Edith: Then that's settled, then. You can leave me here. Milner: No. I'll wait. Edith: You don't want to be late. Did you say you're meeting Mr Foyle for lunch? Milner: Not exactly. Edith: You go on. I'll see you tonight. They kiss and Milner walks away. Outside the Captain's Table restaurant. Foyle walks towards the restaurant. Inside. The owner, Brian Tremayne, and his staff set out tables. Tremayne looks up as the door opens. Foyle: Good morning. Tremayne: I'm afraid we're not open yet, sir. Foyle: No, I do understand. I was, erm, hoping to be able to make a reservation for Christmas. Tremayne: We're fully booked, I'm afraid. Foyle: Oh, dear. Are you, um, Mr Tremayne? Tremayne: Yes, that's right. Foyle: Jack said I should mention his name. Tremayne: Jack? Foyle: Jack Bentley. Tremayne: Ah, Jack. Foyle: He recommended you. Tremayne: Ah. So you know Jack? Foyle: I do know Jack. Er, mainly socially, but we do a bit of business now and again. Tremayne: Is that so, Mr...? Foyle: Black. Tremayne: And what is your business, Mr Black? Foyle: Well, bit of this, bit of that. Got to stay on your feet. You know how it is? Tremayne: That's true enough. Where did you see him exactly? Foyle: Smithfield. Tremayne: Smithfield's a big place. Foyle: The Hind. Tremayne: Ah. Yes, he's always in there, isn't he? Foyle: He's always in there, isn't he? Suggested I, er, should ask you about your special menu. Tremayne: Did he give you a price? Foyle: Well, five bob's, er, meant to be the limit, isn't it? Tremayne: Not for what we're offering. There's a seven and six cover charge, plus an extra three bob for the cloakroom. Foyle: Well, you'd be offering something very special for that, then, wouldn't you? Tremayne: We've got something you won't find anywhere else. Foyle: Is that right? Tremayne: Would you like to take a look? Foyle: I'd love to take a look. Tremayne: Frank. One of the waiters comes over. Frank: Yes? Tremayne: Bring that package off the counter. He turns back to Foyle. Tremayne: Have I seen you in here before? Foyle: No, I used to come in, but not since you've been here. Er, how long has that been? Tremayne: Oh, I came down this year. London, you don't wanna know! Now, you take a look at this. Frank brings over a trussed, unplucked turkey. Foyle: Well, that's very special, isn't it? Tremayne: See what I mean? Foyle: I do. Good old Jack. Tremayne: So I take it you're interested, then? Foyle: I certainly am. Tremayne: So, do we have a deal? Foyle: We do, yup. He heads towards the doors, where Milner and some uniformed officers are visible through the glass. Tremayne: How many of you will there be? Foyle: Oh, there's, erm, half a dozen of us. I'll introduce you. He opens the door and the police walk in. Outside. Milner watches as Tremayne is escorted to a police car. Foyle walks up behind him. Foyle: Happy to clear up here? Milner: Yes, sir. And what about the, er, evidence? Foyle: Bring it all back. Milner heads back into the building. Restaurant kitchen. A group of uniformed officers are going through the food in the kitchens. Constable Peters pushes a trolley in, humming God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman, and starts singing: ♪ God rest ye merry gentlemen ♪ ♪ Let nothing ye dismay ♪ ♪ I think I'll have this chicken here and carry it away! ♪ He takes a bite of a chicken drumstick as the others chuckle. ♪ Tidings of comfort and joy... ♪ Milner walks in. Milner: What are you doing? Peters: It looks like Christmas has come early this year. Milner: What do you mean? Peter: Well, Mr Tremayne won't be needing it now. The others laugh. Milner: Put that back! Peters: What? Milner: You heard me. Put that back now! Peters: Come on. We're closing this place down. No one's gonna want this. He holds up two more drumsticks. Milner: That's not the point. What you are doing is theft. It's exactly the same reason we arrested Tremayne. The other policemen start putting the food back down. Peters: We arrested him for racketeering. We're just cleaning up. Milner: Oh, is that what you call it? Peter: What's the matter with you, Mr Milner? You was never like this before they made you sergeant. Milner: How dare you speak to me like that, constable! You can consider yourself cautioned. And if one more item of food goes missing from this kitchen, you'll be spending Christmas behind bars. Do you understand? He walks out. Peters drops the chicken drumsticks back on the pile. Police station. Hilda Greenwood is waiting in the reception area. As Foyle walks in, Sergeant Brooke calls out to him from the front desk. Brooke: Sir. There's a lady here to see you. Hilda: You in charge? Foyle: I'm never sure. Hilda: Oh, it's just that I've been here an hour and I've only got the afternoon off. I want a word, if you don't mind. Foyle: All right. Hilda: Erm, Hilda Greenwood. You're Mr Foyle? Foyle: I am. Hilda: You're the one I want to see. Somewhere private. It's important. Foyle: This way. As he leads her through into the back, two uniformed officers return from the restaurant, the man in the lead carrying the turkey. The second holds the door for Sam to follow them in. Sam: Brookie, am I dreaming or is that a...? Brooke: It's a turkey, Miss Stewart. Sam: It's an absolute whopper. Brooke: About 15lb, I should say. Sam: I haven't seen a turkey like that since before the wr. Brooke: Mmm. Sam: Where did they get it? Brooke: I've got a feeling it came from Smithfield Market. Sam: Your old stomping ground? Brooke: Mmm. Well, you can't move up there now for spivs. They've even got tic-tac men out, warn 'em if anyone's coming. He taps his nose. Sam: What will happen to it? Brooke: I'm locking it up until there's a trial. Sam: Why? It hasn't done anything. Brooke: Evidence, Miss Stewart. I, I thought it safest to put it behind bars. We wouldn't want it flying away, now, would we? Constable Peters walks in. Brooke: Peters! I want a word with you. Police interview room. Milner is questioning Tremayne. Tremayne: I bought it fair and square. I've read the Poultry Order. There's nothing to stop anybody buying or selling turkeys. Milner: For breeding. Tremayne: I was going to breed, but it died. What else was I meant to do? Milner: Who did you buy it from? Tremayne: I've told you. At the market. He's a registered breeder. Milner: Really? This is the bill, with a fake signature. He slides a piece of paper across the table. Tremayne: How was I meant to know that? Milner: It's signed "W Churchill". Tremayne: I didn't look at it. Milner: Mr Tremayne, men are dying to bring food into this country. You know what's happening. Do you think they're doing it so people like you can make a quick profit? Tremayne: I was only thinking about my customers. Milner: Well, maybe you should be thinking of fourteen years. Tremayne: What? Foyle's office. Hilda sits in front of his desk. Hilda: But this is just between you and me and these four walls. Right? Foyle: Yep. Hilda: I hadn't know Grace Phillips long. But she was a nice girl. Used to work in a hairdresser's before she came over to us. She'd only been with us a couple of months and she seemed so happy at the start. But then she changed. I could tell she'd got something on her mind. And then about a week ago, I caught her on her own in the ladies' room crying her eyes out. I asked her, "What on earth's the matter?" But she wasn't very coherent. It was all just tears, you know. But she did say something to me. "It's wrong to steal." That's what she said. Her exact words. Now, what d'you think she meant by that? Foyle: Well, you tell me. Hilda: I've got no idea. But a week later there's this "accident", and that's the end of it. Now, I'm not saying anything, Mr Foyle, but you tell me. A girl who's been perfectly happy suddenly changes overnight. She's scared. She won't talk to anyone. And then she makes a mistake, and suddenly she's dad. Now, they're all saying it's an accident, but I just think someone ought to take a look. That's all. Factory canteen. Eddie Baker is going round collecting money. Baker: For Grace. There's the clink coins. Baker: Thank you. Ladies. Phyllis: We've got ten more minutes, Mr Baker. Baker: All right, all right, keep your hair on. I'm just passing the hat round. For Grace. Phyllis: Grace? Poor Grace. Not going to be needing it now, is she? Baker: No need to be like that. She's got a mother. Thank you. 70 years old. Thank you. All on her own. I just thought some of us might like to do something for her. If you're not interested, I'm not gonna force you. Phyllis: I didn't mean it like that. Here. She adds some coins to the collection box. Baker: That's very generous of you. I take it you're not going to the funeral. Phyllis: You'll dock me half a day's wages if I do. Baker: I don't make the rules. Phyllis: You're all heart, Mr Baker. Baker: You've got five minutes, not ten. Enjoy your tea. He offers the collection box to another table. Baker: It's for Grace. Johnson Garage. A man with a horse walks past in front of the building, greeting a passer-by. Man: Morning. Passer-by: How do? A young man, Eric Clayton, approaches the building, stopping to take a quick look at a motorbike propped up outside. As he arrives, Harry Osborne is just coming out, wearing mechanic's overalls. Eric: Harry? Harry: What is it? He goes over to the motorbike. Eric: I, I didn't expect to see you here. Not after what happened. I, I mean, you know. Grace. Harry: What else am I meant to do? Stay at home? I just think of her. Does no good sitting on me own, does it? Might as well be here. Eric: Of course, Harry. That's, that's right. I'm glad to see you. So how's it going, then? Harry: Oh, it's no bloody good. These are all cracked. And the ignition harness is useless. Eric: Waste of bloody time, if you ask me. Harry: Yeah. Well, not for much longer. Eric: You're still going ahead, then? Harry: Not me. We, Eric. We're still going ahead, right? Eric: I, I just thought what with Grace and everything. Harry: Grace doesn't make any difference. Three days. That's when we're going to do it. Eric: Right. Harry: Er, you are still with me? Eric: Of course I am. Harry: 'Cause I wouldn't like to think you've turned against me. Eric: I'm with you, Harry, all the way. Harry: All the way. I like that! The garage owner, Neville Johnson, comes out of the building behind them. Johnson: You still working on that bike? Harry: What do you mean, Mr Johnson? Johnson: You know what I mean. That bike's been here since Monday, and you've hardly started on it. Eric: We've got a problem with the ignition cables. Johnson: I know there's a problem with the cables, Eric. That's what it's here for. Harry: Er, I'm not in tomorrow, Mr Johnson. I've got the funeral. Johnson: Oh, yeah. Course. I'm, er, sorry about Grace, Harry. Er, what, what happened to her, it was awful. Well, we've still got work to do. Since you're here, you'd, you'd best get on with it. He heads back into the building. Harry: He never cared about Grace. He doesn't care about anyone except himself. Old bastard. "You might as well get on with it." Get on with what? This pile of junk's going nowhere. He sab a tool into the bike's tyre and air starts hissing out. Eric: Now, now, now look what you've done, Harry. That's really done it. Harry: Johnson: Just shut up, Eric. Just shut up, all right? Police evidence room. The turkey sits on a shelf amid other seized evidence. Sam stands gazing at it through the mesh-covered window in the door, and sighs. Sergeant Brooke comes up behind her. Brooke: Miss Stewart? Sam: Brookie. I was just looking at- Brooke: Mmm. It's a real shame, isn't it? Sam: It'll go off, won't it, just sitting there? Brooke: In a couple of weeks, I suppose so. Sam: When will the trial be? Brooke: Well, the way things are at the moment, not before the end of January. Sam: Seems a terrible waste. Brooke: Yeah. Er, sorry, Mr Foyle's ready to go home. Sam: Oh. Gosh. Right. She hurries off. Brooke takes a look through the window himself. Milner's office. He's sitting writing at his desk. Foyle clears his throat as he passes by outside. Foyle: How'd you get on? Milner: Well, once he started, he just wouldn't stop. Foyle: Good. Sam hurries up, out of breath. Sam: Sir. Foyle: Ready? Sam: Yes, sir. Foyle: Good night. Milner: Good night, sir. Sam: Bye! Milner: Night, Sam. Foyle and Sam leave and Milner goes back to writing. Later. Milner leaves his office, turning the light out. He heads out into the reception area. Jane (offscreen): Paul. Milner: Jane! His estranged wife Jane approaches him. Jane: They told me you were still working here. You've got a new desk sergeant. Milner: What are you doing here? Jane: In Hastings? Milner: No. Here. Jane: I've come to see you. Milner: Why? Jane: I want to come home, Paul. I want to come back to you. Milner: Jane. Stop. It's been two and a half years. Jane: I know. But we're still married. I'm still your wife. I know I was stupid. I know I made mistakes. But I want you to take me back. Munitions factory. Sam and Foyle drive towards the building. Sam: Would you mind if I got myself a cup of tea while I waited, sir? Foyle: Oh, go ahead. Just, er, try to avoid getting recruited. She laughs. Sam: Don't worry, sir. Workers' Playtime is definitely not for me. She parks and they get out of the car. Factory floor. Managing Director Godfrey Watson makes his way through the workers and machinery. Watson: Mr Foyle. Very good to meet you. Foyle: How do you do? They shake hands. Watson: Come this way. I'm Godfrey Watson, Managing Director here. He leads Foyle up a flight of stairs. Foyle: Used to be an engineering firm, didn't it? Watson: In happier times, yes. It was converted in 1940. Now it's high-explsive shells, 20,000 of them a week. Do come in. He leads the way into the office at the top of the steps, where Baker is looking at some paperwork. Watson: This is Edward Baker, my works manager. Please take a seat. Foyle: Thank you. Watson: Would you like some tea? Foyle: I won't, thank you very much. Lot of women employed here. Watson: Yes. We've about 40% of our workers here are women. Couldn't do without them. Now we've trained up a whole second army of women on centre lathes, hand-millers, routers, tapping machines. And they're very good at it. Some would say better than the men. Foyle: Cause problems? Watson: Well, there's a certain amount of rivalry, yes. Baker: What is it you're investigating, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Well, I'm not investigating anything as such. Er, just wondered how much you can tell me about a woman who worked here, Grace Phillips? Watson: Ah, yes. Her funeral's this afternoon. It's, er, it's very sad. Foyle: Mmm. Many accidents? Baker: One last year. Two the year before. It's dangerous work. Everybody knows that. Watson: The slightest vibration can cause an explsin. Friction. A spark, anything. Even so, we've had only four fatalities in three years. Well below the national average. Baker: We certainly don't expect to find ourselves at the receiving end of a police enquiry. Foyle: Could I see where she worked? Watson: Yes, of course. The three of them head down the stairs. Foyle: Was she, erm, a reliable sort of girl? Watson: I didn't really get to know her. Mr Baker? Baker: She was a good worker, although she hadn't been here that long. Two or three months, maybe. She was a bit highly strung. Poor health record. Saw the MO a couple of times. Foyle: Oh, why was that? Baker: I couldn't tell you. Watson: We can easily find out, though. A lot of the girls come down with minor complaints. Nervous debility is the main cause of sickness here, as you'd imagine. Erm, we get respiratory, digestive disorders and skin ailments too, of course. Foyle: Is that right? Baker: Girls like Grace Phillips are handling a lot of poisonous materials. Tetryl. Cordite. Trinitrotoluene. Watson: TNT. Baker: They can get a yellow discolouration of the skin. Particularly the ones in the pellet and powder sections of the factory. Foyle: I see. Watson: We could let you have her personal file, if that would help. Foyle: It would, thank you. They go through a door into another section of the factory. Baker goes to remove the chain roping off the shell-filling room. Baker: We've had to close off the entire area. There was a lot of chemicals around when the blast occurred. It'll take us a few more days to clean it up. We may lose a whole week of production. They reach the site of the explsin. Watson: Poor girl. I have to say, Mr Foyle, if there's anything you know about Miss Phillips that you're not telling us, then perhaps you should. Foyle: Well, no, I know absolutely nothing. That's why I'm here. Baker: She was a very ordinary girl. One of hundreds. Factory canteen. Phyllis takes a cup of tea and slice of Swiss roll over to the table where Sam is sitting. Phyllis: Mind if I join you? Sam: No. Go ahead. Phyllis: Look at that. Penny ha'penny for a little bit of Swiss roll. Profiteering, I call it. That your car outside? Sam: My boss's, yes. Phyllis: Who's he, then? Sam: Well, he's a police officer. Phyllis: You're with the police? Sam: Mmm. In a way. I'm a police driver. Phyllis: You're here about Grace? I was there when it happened. Sam: You work in the shell-filling room? Phyllis: The su1c1de squad. I'm a fully paid-up member. Sam: So, what happened? Phyllis: I don't know, I didn't see anything. I expect she dropped a fuse. Mind you, I wasn't surprised. Grace wasn't at all well that morning. Half asleep on her feet. You ask me, they should never have let her in. Sam: But, but you weren't hurt? Phyllis: No. I was lucky. Just stepped out to fetch some more fuses. Sam: I wouldn't like to do your job. Phyllis: Wouldn't mind doing yours. Nice way to lady it through the wr. Sam: So what's it like here? Phyllis: It's a man's job, isn't it? But we do it just as well as them and they resent us because of it. They pay us half as much as the men too. Three pounds, three shillings a week. Sam: You'd think they'd be glad to have you. Phyllis: They're always picking holes in what we do. I can't tell you how often I've thought about packing it in. Sam: Oh, so why don't you? Phyllis: Because I'm an idiot. No, it's not that. I've got my Billy out in Libya. He's a gn. I like to think that what I'm making here, he'll get to use out there. Know what I mean? Makes me feel part of it. Sam: Is it long hours? Phyllis: They've given us two hours off this afternoon. That's down to Grace. Sam: The funeral. Phyllis: Yeah. The foreman doesn't like to give us time off, normally. He's organised a whip-round for her mum and a few of us thought we ought to be there. That tells you a bit about our work, doesn't it? Going to a funeral is the high point of my week. Factory floor. Foyle is just leaving. Watson and Baker head back up the stairs. Watson: Is anything wrong, Mr Baker? Baker: No, sir. Watson: You seemed a little off-hand with Mr Foyle. Baker: Was I? I didn't mean to be. Watson: Oh, I'm giving two of the girls who knew her best some time off to go to the funeral. Baker: Are you sure that's a good idea, sir? Watson: Everyone's upset by what's happen. It'll be good for morale. Production's been affected anyway. Baker: Well, even so. Watson: I'm going myself and I think you should be there too. Sam and Foyle are driving along. Sam: Sir, there's something I wanted to talk to you about. Foyle: What's that? Sam: Well, actually, it's this turkey. I know it's none of my business. Foyle: That's right. Sam: But I was wondering if you were just going to let it sit in the evidence room until it rots. Foyle: Where would you like me to put it? Sam: No, what I mean is, do you really need it for the court? Foyle: Yep, 'fraid so. Sam: It's Christmas soon, sir. Sardine pancakes are all very well and good, but they're not exactly festive, are they? Foyle: Well... Sam: You don't think the judge would mind if it were missing the drumsticks? Foyle: You mean, eat the evidence? Sam: Not all of it. Just a leg or two. Foyle: No, what do you think the judge is gonna have to say about that? No. It- nothing we can do. End of subject. Sam: You know, sir, quite soon, it will begin to smell. Police station. Foyle and Sam walk through into the back corridor. Milner spots them from his office. Milner: Sir! Sorry to ask, but could I have some time off this afternoon? It's a personal matter, but it's important. Foyle: Of course. Milner: Thank you. Foyle: Everything all right? Milner: Yes, sir. Foyle: Good. He walks to towards his office. Foyle: Sam? Sam (offscreen): Sir. She follows him into the office. Foyle: You could do something for me. Sam: Yes, sir? Foyle: This funeral this afternoon, Grace Phillips's. I wonder if you'd mind, erm...? Sam: Not at all. I'd be glad to. Foyle: Well, find out what you can, see who's there. Have a word with the mother if possible. She takes a piece of paper from him. Sam: St Paul's Church and cemetery. Foyle: Yeah. Don't mind going? Sam: Not at all. I'll see what I can dig up. Foyle: Jolly good. Then he registers what she said and gives her a look. Sam turns and leaves. Munitions factory. Hilda and Phyllis are just leaving the building. Phyllis: Only way to get a couple of hours off in this place, a funeral. Hilda: We should have more of 'em. She looks around and sees Watson and Baker behind them. Hilda: (Wouldn't mind going to his, for a start.) Johnson garage. Harry and Eric are outside in their funeral suits. Harry: (Just go in and get him. You go and get Mr Johnson. Just go in and get him.) Eric holds up his hands reluctantly and gestures towards the building. Harry: (Just watch this.) Harry heads into the back of the garage. Harry: Mr Johnson. Mr Johnson! Johnson steps out. Harry: Not going, Mr Johnson? Johnson: Er, no. I didn't think it was right for me to be there. Harry: Why's that? Johnson: Well, I didn't really know her. Harry: You rented the room to her. She used to say that you were like a father to her. Johnson: When'd she say that, then? Harry: She said it often. But you please yourself. Johnson: I rented out a room. That's all. Eric: Come on, Harry. Johnson: Get on with you. And I'll see you back here first thing tomorrow! Harry and Eric leave. Spread Eagle Hotel tearoom. Jane and Milner sit at a table together. A waitress brings over their tea. Waitress: Pastries? Jane: Yes, please- Milner: No, thank you. Jane: When you came back from Norway, I know I was beastly to you. It wasn't just your injury. Please believe that. We'd had so many plans together, and everything had suddenly changed. Milner: You'd changed. Jane: And I was wrong. I see that now. But I've learnt so much being away from you. The one thing I know is that I still love you and I want to be with you. Milner: I've met somebody else. Jane: What? Who? Milner: Does it matter? Jane: Well, yes. I'd like to know. Milner: It's Edith. Jane: Edith Ashford? She always did give you the glad eye, even when we were at school. She living with you? She in our house? Milner: It's not our house, Jane. It's mine. No, she isn't. Not yet. Jane: But you've asked her to? Milner: It's none of your business. Jane: Aren't you forgetting something? We're not actually divorced. Milner: It's been over two years. Jane: But it's three years, isn't it? The Matrimonial Causes Act, 1937. I can come back if I want to, and I do. My sister doesn't want me in Wales. I've got nowhere else to go, so you can tell Edith- People start to look round at the raised voices. Milner: You stay away from me, Jane. He stands up. Milner: And you stay away from Edith. I'm warning you. Jane: What? Milner: It's over between us. You're not part of my life. So just keep away. Or else! He walks out. Grace's funeral. Vicar: As we contemplate this young life, brought to so sudden and premature an end, we have to remember that Grace Phillips gave her life for her country in exactly the same way as so many of our young men are doing overseas. We must salute her courage and the courage of all the men and women who worked with her, supporting our troops. Harry: (Grace.) Vicar: You wanted to say a few words? Harry: Yes, sir. Grace was my best girl. We was gonna be married. We was gonna spend the rest of our lives with each other. Vicar: I'm, I'm sorry. Harry: But this is my fault. Erm... the thing about Grace was... she was happy where she was. Then I had to go and put my foot in it and tell her she could be doing her bit. Doing something more. And she believed me, 'cause that's the sort of girl she was. I thought you'd look after her. She was ill that last day. You know that, and you still made her do it. Baker: Wait a minute. Harry: Why didn't you just send her home? My lovely girl blown to bits and me left on my own. What am I gonna do? Watson: We didn't know she was ill. We did everything we could to keep her safe. Vicar: Gentlemen, this is neither the time nor the place. Eric comes up behind Harry. Eric: Harry. Come on. Let's drown our sorrows, eh? Harry: Yeah. I don't want to be here. Not with them. The two of them leave. Vicar: Shall we say the Lord's Prayer together? All: Our father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day... Sam watches from a short distance away. High Street. Jane buys a newspaper from a man selling them on the corner. She unfolds it and then stops, staring at the headline LOCAL GIRL klled IN MUNITIONS BLAST. There's a photo of Grace included. She hurries past the Southern Bank on the corner and into the ladies' hairdresser's next door. The shop bell rings as she enters, and the owner, Mollie Summersgill, looks up from where she's taking care of a customer. Mollie: Oh, Jane, dear, if you're going up, pop the kettle on. I'm only going to be about ten... Jane draws her away to show her the newspaper. Jane: Mollie. Did you know about Grace? Mollie: Yes, it's terrible. Jane: You didn't tell me. Mollie: Well, I didn't know whether to or not. I mean, you've got so much on your mind, I didn't want to worry you. Are you all right? Jane: Yes... Not really, no. Mollie: Did you see him? Jane: Mollie, I have to go back out. Mollie: But you've only just come in. Jane: I'm sorry. I have to see Paul. Mollie: What, again? Jane leaves and Mollie goes back to my customer. Mollie: Oh. She used to be one of my best cutters. Jane Milner. Police station. Jane is talking to Brooke at the front desk. Brooke: I'm sorry, ma'am. He's not here. Jane: Do you know where he is? Brooke: I imagine he's gone home. Jane: Could you tell him I was here and I want to see him? Brooke: Certainly, ma'am. Jane leaves. Brooke turns to approach Foyle as he's on his way out from the back. Brooke: Lovely, isn't it, sir? Foyle: Is it? Brooke: The smell. Fresh turkey, sir. Foyle: Ah. Brooke: I haven't seen a bird like that for two years. Foyle: Been talking to Sam? He leaves. Brooke: Miss Stewart, sir? Not recently. Foyle: Good night. Brooke: Night, sir. Street, night. Edith and Milner are walking arm-in-arm. Milner: It's only been three months. Edith: Three months, three weeks and two days. Milner: It's just sometimes you talk as if... Edith: As if we're going to be together for ever? Of course we are. We're going to muddle on until htler throws in the towel, and then we're going to get married. We'll have as much milk as we want and oranges and bananas and sweets and all the other things we can't get, and we'll have a proper life. Milner: You really think that? Edith: Paul. I've told you. I'm not gonna let you go. Hairdresser's. The sign has been flipped to closed. Mollie goes to the window and looks out, then pulls the blackout blind down. She turns off all the lights and heads into the back. Alleyway, night. An older, Sam Bradshawe, with a fre Guard armband, is walking along. Up ahead, Jane Milner is coming the other way, arguing with a man walking behind her. Jane: I certainly do not. What do you mean? What are you trying to...? Bradshawe passes Jane and her pursuer. Jane: Why are you following me? What do you want? What are you doing? This is ridiculous. Bradshawe pauses and looks back, but can't see anything. Jane: Get off me! What are you doing? Further back along the alley, Jane is struggling with her assailant. Jane: No! She wrenches free and hurries on. The man behind her grabs a brick from the ground and cracks her over the back of the head. At the far end of the alley, Bradshawe still stands looking back, but there's nothing more to hear. After a moment, he turns and walks on. Foyle house. Foyle steps out through the front door, joining Sam on the doorstep. Foyle: How'd you get on yesterday? Sam: The funeral, sir? Foyle: Yep. Sam: Well, strange, really. Foyle: Was it? Sam: Well, there weren't many people there. Only people she worked with. Some of her family, but not her mother, though. They head down the front steps and towards the car. Foyle: Why was that, d'you think? Sam: I don't know. Perhaps she couldn't face it. Anyway, they had a collection for her at the factory. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Boyfriend? Sam: There was a young man. Good-looking. He made a speech at the grave. He said Grace should never have been at work when they knew she was ill. I'm afraid it wasn't much fun. They get into the car. Foyle: Well, it's a funeral. Sam: No, I mean... there was something about him. It was as if... This is a horrible thing to say, but it was as if he was putting the whole thing on. Like a performance. Foyle: Well, thanks for going. Sam: You know me, sir. Always glad to be of service. Funeral service included. Police station. Brooke hurries over to the front desk as Foyle and Sam arrive. Brooke: Sir. Bad news, I'm afraid. They found a young woman dad in an alleyway just off the parade. Was klled some time last night, beaten around the head. Foyle: We know who it is? Brooke: Yes, sir. Er, I've tried to keep it quiet, but word gets around. It's Mrs Milner, sir. Sam: What? Jane Milner? Brooke: Yeah, his wife. Er, his ex-wife, I mean. I understand they were divorced. Sam: But that's not possible. She's in Wales. Brooke: There's no doubt about it, I'm afraid, Miss Stewart. But she was here yesterday evening, as a matter of fact, asking for Mr Milner. I saw her myself. Foyle: What time was that? Brooke: 6:30 exactly, sir. I made an entry in the book. Foyle walks through, and sees that Milner's office is empty. Foyle: Where's he? Brooke: He's not in yet, sir. It's the first time I've ever known him to be late for work. Foyle turns around to head back out. Alleyway. Constable Peter's lowers the blanket covering Jane's body. Peters: klled at around ten o'clock last night, they think. It appears that's the mrder wapon. He indicates a brick with a smear of blood and hair on the corner. Foyle nods. Peters: You just missed the MO, sir. He's been called to Hove. He, er, asked me to give you this. He gives Foyle a file. Foyle: Thank you. Who found her? Peters: A couple of young ladies, sir. Er, they work in, er, Hardcastle's, the drapery shop. On their way to work. Foyle: Right. He bends down to pick up an envelope addressed to Jane that's lying on the ground. Peters: That's empty, sir. Foyle: Not a word about this to anybody for the time being. Peters: Don't you worry, sir. You can count on me. Foyle turns to walk away. Police station. Milner heads through into the back and sees the offices are all empty. A moment later Brooke comes out from behind the front desk. Brooke: Sergeant Milner. Milner: Where is everyone? Brooke: Er, there's been an incident in town. Milner: What sort of incident? Brooke: I, I couldn't tell you, sir. He looks towards the double doors onto the reception area, where Foyle is just arriving. He steps through and approaches Milner. Factory canteen. Phyllis looks in through the window, then walks in. Baker sits at a table in the otherwise empty room having a cup of tea. Baker: What are you doing here, Miss Law? I don't believe it's time for your morning break. Phyllis: They told me you were here, Mr Baker. Baker: If you want to see me, you should come to my office. Phyllis: I thought you might like to see me more informally. You see, the thing is, what with Christmas coming up, I was thinking of taking some time off. Baker: The factory doesn't close for Christmas. You know that. You'll get a day and a half off like everybody else. Phyllis: I'd like three days. Baker: I'm sorry? Phyllis: I think you heard me, Mr Baker. She sits down opposite him. Phyllis: Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Is that too much to ask? Baker: Why are you asking me this now? It's out of the question. Phyllis: And you might like to think about a Christmas bonus too. Baker: Miss Law. Phyllis: Or... I might start talking about Grace Phillips. Baker: What are you talking about? Phyllis: I was at the funeral yesterday. Remember? I got chatting to someone. Turns out he was her cousin. He had a lot to say. Baker: What are you talking about? Phyllis: Well, he told me about Grace. And about her poor old mum. Is it true the police were here, Mr Baker? Asking questions, were they? Baker: They were making routine enquiries. Phyllis: Well, they might not be so routine when I talk to 'em. Baker: I can't do what you ask. Phyllis: You're in charge of the roster, and when it comes to pay, they'll do what you recommend. Baker: You're blackmailing me. Phyllis: I'm not doing nothing of the sort. I do a good job here. I just want to get a bit more like what I deserve. Baker: I'll think about it. Phyllis: You do that. She stands up and goes to leave. Baker: I'd be careful if I was you, Miss Law. Place like this. And you with your husband away, all on your own. Phyllis: What are you saying? Baker: I know all about you. I know where you live. You try and put the finger on me. You don't know me, Miss Law. You don't know anything about me. You don't know what I might do. She leaves. Foyle's office. Milner is sitting in front of the desk. Milner: You're sure it's her? Foyle nods silently. Milner: Can I see her? Then he shakes his head. Foyle: You knew she was here? Milner: Yes, sir. I saw her yesterday. How was she...? Foyle: She was, erm, attcked with a brick. Milner: When? Foyle: Last night, about ten o'clock. What can you tell me? Milner: I had tea with her yesterday afternoon at the Spread Eagle. That was the last time I saw her. Foyle: What did she want? Milner: Er, it's difficult to explain. Foyle: Well, I hate to ask, but in the circumstances... Milner: Sir, I told you that we were divorced. That wasn't true. It would have been, er, in a few months. She was the one who left me. But it turns out that wasn't what she wanted. She asked me to take her back. Foyle: Did she know about your, erm, current circumstances? Milner: Edith. He shakes his head. Milner: I told her. She was upset, angry. She asked me if she could move back into the house, and I said that that wasn't possible now. Foyle: Where was she staying? Milner: There's a hairdresser's on the High Street. She used to work there before we were married. Foyle: And, um, Last night? Milner: I was on my own. I left Edith around nine. Sir, I know how this must look. You have every right to treat me as a suspect. Foyle: Well, look, I mean, I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that you had nothing to do with this, but if we're not seen to be doing it by the book... Milner: I understand. He stands up. Milner: Are you suspending me? Foyle: No, no, no, no, no. Er, but, erm, obviously, you can't be involved with the, er, investigation. And, er, we're going to have to take a look at your home and your office, I'm afraid. Milner nods. Foyle: (Good.) Milner moves to leave and Foyle stands up. Foyle: I do wonder why you, er, felt it necessary to lie about the divorce. Milner: I suppose it was just easier. After she left, I did write to her suggesting we divorce, but she, um, never replied, so... I just pretended that we were. And the more I said it, the more I believed it. Foyle: Tell Edith? Milner: No, I lied to her. I just... I just wanted Jane out of my life. Foyle: She is now. Spread Eagle Hotel. Sam and Foyle pull up outside in the car. Sam: Sir, you can't think for a single minute that Mr Milner had anything to do with the death of his wife. Foyle: What makes you think I'll be answering this question? Haven't I made it clear that cases are not for discussion? Sam: Yes, sir. Foyle: Do we discuss cases? Sam: No, sir. Foyle: Will we be discussing this one? Sam: No, sir. Foyle: Right. He gets out. Milner's office. Uniformed officers are going through the drawers. Brooke arrives in the doorway. Brooke: I want everything put back exactly where it was. If you find anything that so much as raises an eyebrow, come straight to me. Policeman 1: Yes, Sarge. Policeman 2: Sarge. High Street. Foyle walks over to the hairdresser's and lets himself in. Milner house. Peters is looking around. Two other policemen pass behind him, laughing. They're trying on some of Milner's hats. Peters: Oi. I don't want anyone larking around with Sergeant Milner's things. You two back downstairs. They take the hats off and head downstairs, leaving Peters alone on the upper floor. Policeman (offscreen): Let's go. Peters walks towards a shirt that's hanging up and studies it. Hairdresser's. Foyle brings Mollie a glass of water. Mollie: Thank you. Foyle: I know this is difficult, but if you felt able to answer a few questions I'd appreciate it. Mollie: Yes. Just give me a minute. I'll be all right in a minute. Foyle: Of course. Mollie: Jane... Er, Jane was staying with me. I couldn't understand why she didn't come back last night. I was very worried about her. Foyle: You know where she went? Mollie: Yes. I do. She went to see her husband. But of course you knew that. He works for you. He did this, didn't he? Have you arrested him? Jane didn't have an enemy in the world, apart from him. He didn't treat her well. Foyle: Did she tell you that? Mollie: Why are you asking all these questions? She came back yesterday. She'd seen him. She was very upset. She said she was going to go out and see him again. And that was the last time I saw her. I know he's your friend and you're trying to protect him. But he klled her. He klled her! Johnson Garage. Harry is at work inside. Eric comes in. Eric: Have you heard? Harry: What's that, then, Eric? Eric: The bogies are all over Hastings. They found some bird been mrder down near the parade. Harry: Well, that's terrible. I tell you, nobody's safe these days. Eric: What, so, so you don't know nothing about it? Harry: Why should I know anything? Eric: I just thought you might have heard. That's all. Harry: No. It's all news to me. Eric: You, you want a cup of tea? Harry: Yeah, if you're making a brew. Eric: So who was that woman who came here last night? Harry: That was my wife. Eric: What? Harry: It's a joke, Eric. "Who was that lady I saw you with last night?" "That was no lady. That was my wife!" Eric: Oh. Harry: What's the matter with you today? What's made you so jumpy? Eric: I don't know. You know, I was just thinking, Harry. What with all this business, the police and everything, maybe it's not the best time, you know? Harry: You getting cold feet? Eric: No, no, no. Um... Harry: The right time, Eric. Everything's set. Eric: Look, I know. Harry: And what with the rozzers chasing after whoever bashed in this poor woman, they won't have any time for us, will they? Eric: Right. How did you know she was bashed in? Harry: You told me. Eric: Did I? Harry: Well, I don't know. I must have heard. Come on. You really think I had something to do with it? I don't know her. I don't even know who she is. She's got nothing to do with me. Police station. Sam runs into Milner in the corridor. Sam: I'm so sorry about Jane. Milner: Thank you, Sam. Sam: I can't believe it's happened. There always seems to be someone dying somewhere, but you never expect it to be someone you know. If there's anything I can do to help, you will tell me, won't you? Milner: Of course. Thank you, Sam. He walks on and Sam watches him go. Foyle's office. Milner knocks and enters. Foyle looks at him for a moment. Foyle: Sit down. Milner: Have you found anything, sir? Foyle: Well, I spoke to the woman at the hairdresser's. Milner: Mrs Summersgill. Foyle: Mmm. Milner: Was she helpful? Foyle: I wouldn't say so. Er, we did find this. This was with your wife when we found her. Wondered if you recognised the handwriting. He gives Milner the empty envelope. Milner: No, sir. It's postmarked Hastings. Foyle: Sent about a week ago. Milner: Was there no letter with it? Foyle: There wasn't. Milner: Could this be the reason that she was klled? He gives the envelope back. Foyle: Unfortunately, we, erm, we also found this. He gives Milner an evidence envelope. Milner opens it to find the shirt Peters was looking at back at his house. Milner: This is my shirt. Foyle: Taken from your house. Milner: Why? Milner sees blood on the cuff. Foyle: Well, why do you think? Milner: Is this where I'm supposed to say, I cut myself shaving? Foyle: Well, I'm very glad you didn't, 'cause it's not your blood, it's your wife's. Milner: That's ridiculous. It must be a mistake. There's no explanation. Of course. That's not true. There can be only one explanation, can't there? Foyle: Also, er, went to the hotel where you and your wife were last seen. A few people there who, um... Milner: Heard us arguing. Foyle: Well, "arguing violently" is how it was described. Milner: No, it was- it was heated. It wasn't violent. Foyle: Well, whatever it was, erm, you thrat her? Milner: No. Not in so many words. Foyle: How many words do you need? Milner: Sir, I don't deny the argument, and I can't explain the shirt. What are you going to do? Outside Foyle's house. Edith make to the front door and rings the bell. Foyle answers it. Edith: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Yeah. Edith: I, I know I shouldn't be here, but I wonder if I might come in. Foyle considers for a moment. Foyle: Yes. Edith walks through into the front room. Edith: I... I understand you've suspended Paul. Foyle: Um... have you seen him? Edith: I spoke to him yesterday, but only briefly. You can't really suspect him of klling his wife, can you? You know that would be absurd. I know. You're going to tell me you can't discuss it with me. But how can you be so cruel? He's been with you for more than two years. He's totally loyal to you. He'd do anything for you! Foyle: Listen, I'm very sorry, but I, erm, I do think you should leave. Edith: No. Wait. I'm sorry. I had no cause to speak to you like that. And that wasn't why I came here. The truth is... I'm desperately worried about him. You see, he, he told me about the shirt. You found blood on it. Her blood. That's what he said. Foyle: Yes. Edith: They met, you know. He never denied that. Maybe it got there... somehow... She falls silent and sits down. Foyle: Did you know that they had, er, never divorced? Edith: I didn't know. Not until last night. He told me then. Foyle: Come as a shock? Edith: Paul lied to himself. I don't think he lied to me. Foyle: He still lied. Edith: You're right. I shouldn't have come here. She stands up to go. Foyle: You know that in, er, any other circumstances, he'd have been arrested, suspended, erm, quite possibly put into jail. Edith: I know. You're doing what you can. Foyle: No, I'm doing what I believe is right. And I'm sorry I can't tell you what you want to hear. Edith: You really think he's guilty? Foyle: No, I don't. I think you do. She leaves. Police station. Sam is outside the evidence room again. Peters comes up behind her. Peters: Terrible, isn't it, miss? Sam: What is? Peters: Waste of good food, and at a time like this, you know. It won't be long before it starts to rot. Sam: I wasn't even thinking about it. She moves away and Peters walks after her. Peters: Oh, I suppose not. This whole place is rotten, if you ask me. What they're saying about Sergeant Milner, it's tripe. Sam: I'm sure Mr Foyle will get to the bottom of it. Peters: Well, I hope so. We all do. By the way, for what it's worth... I do have the key. Sam: What for? Peters: The evidence room. Just thought you'd like to know. He chuckles as he walks away. Sam rounds the corner, passing Brooke. Brooke: Everything all right, Miss Stewart? Sam: Yes, thank you, Brookie. No. Not really. It really is a bleak midwinter, isn't it? Brooke: Well, we've just had some news that might cheer you up. There was a witness. Sam: What? Brooke: When Mrs Milner was klled. There was someone there, and he's just been on the blower. A cobbled yard behind the headquarters of the local fre Guard. Foyle watches Bradshawe as he walks inside to make himself some tea. Bradshawe: In a way, I'm quite grateful to Herr htler. Him and his wr have given me something to do. Oh, yes, I saw her. I was on my way home. There are twelve of us fre guards in this district. Foyle: Responsible job. Bradshawe: Yes. Mind you, we haven't had a raid for a while. It's all reports, really. Weekly meetings. I've never actually seen a fre. I drink a lot of tea. D'you want some? Foyle: Er, no, I won't. No thank you. Would you, erm, be kind enough to explain to me again, er, what exactly it was you saw? Bradshawe comes back out with his cup of tea. Bradshawe: I thought I already told you. Foyle: Well, you told me that, er, yes, you saw a young woman and somebody was following her. Bradshawe: Oh, yes. He was definitely following her. I heard her calling out to him. "Why are you following me?" That's what she said. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Did he say anything? Bradshawe: I can't really remember. I don't think so. If he did, I'd have heard his voice. And I didn't know he was going to kll her. I only read about that in the paper this morning. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Bradshawe: I thought it was one of those, you know, one of those husband and wife arguments. Foyle: Did you see him? Bradshawe: Oh, yes, I saw him, but of course it was dark. Foyle: Would you recognise him if you saw him again? Bradshawe: I wouldn't want to see him again. Foyle: But if you did? Bradshawe: Er, yeah, I, I suppose so. Er, I'd have to see him again to be sure. Foyle: Well, if we organised an identity parade, er, at the station, would you be kind enough to come down? Bradshawe: I don't mind. He stands up. Foyle: Well, I don't mean now, but, er, I'll send a car to collect you. Bradshawe: Oh. Thank you. Foyle: Thank you. He heads back to the car where Sam stands waiting with a newspaper. Foyle: Ready? Sam: Ready, sir. Foyle: Sorry to interrupt. Sam: Sorry, I just get a bit bored standing around. There's something in here about Grace Phillips. Front page. She hands him the newspaper. Foyle: Is that her? It's the same article Jane was looking at. Sam: Yes. Poor girl. She was only twenty. Foyle: I've seen her before. They get into the car. Hairdresser's. There's a framed photograph of Grace modelling a haircut on the wall. Foyle: This is Grace, isn't it? Mollie: Yes. That was taken before the wr. She changed her hair. These days, it's all Victory cuts from America. It's easier to wash and curl. All the girls want to look like Veronica Lake. Foyle: You ever meet her boyfriend? Mollie: Well, not properly. But I did see him a couple of times going in and out of the bank next door, but he didn't come in here. Foyle: Jane and Grace were friends, isn't that right? Mollie: Yes, well, they were more than that. They were cutters together, but Grace had been orphaned when she was young and she was all on her own. She used to look upon Jane as her big sister. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Jane ever mention her when she was staying with you? Mollie: Yes. Well, she saw the story in the newspapers about Grace being klled and she was terribly upset. Foyle: Recognise this handwriting? He shows her the envelope. Mollie: Well, yes. That's Grace's. Mr Foyle, what has this got to do with anything? Grace was klled in an accident and you said that Jane was mrder. I mean, two completely different things. Sam and Foyle are driving along. She looks over at him. Sam: You've found something, haven't you, sir? Foyle: Have I? Sam: I can always tell. You have a look. A sort of "Cry havoc, and let loose the dogs of wr." That's Julius Caesar. Foyle: "Slip". Sam: What? Foyle: It's, "Let slip the dogs of wr." Sam: Is it really? Foyle: Yep. Yes, it is. Keep your eyes on the road, will you? The car radiator begins to hiss. Sam sits forward to try and see. Sam: Oh... hell! Steam boils out of the front of the car. They come to a halt and both get out. Sam: Oh, my gosh. Ugh. Foyle: Radiator? Sam: Radiator. Foyle: Is this as far as we go, then? Sam: Seems so, sir. Foyle: Can you get this as far as a garage? Sam: I hope so. Foyle: Well, do your best. Sam: I'm sorry, sir. Foyle: I'll walk. Munitions factory office. Watson leads Foyle into the room where Baker is at work. Watson: You'll forgive me for saying so, Mr Foyle, but this isn't a very good time. We're just putting out the Christmas payroll. Foyle: Well, I'm sorry, Mr Watson, it's, er, a little difficult arranging a mrder enquiry around your wages schedule. Baker: mrder? What you talking about? Watson: Well, I'm afraid, er, another woman has been klled. A woman called Jane Milner. Does that mean anything to you? Baker: No. Foyle: A friend of Grace Phillips? Watson: No. Foyle: It seems on the, er, morning Grace died, she hadn't been feeling particularly well, is that right? Baker: Who told you that? Er, it's true, yes. She did seem half asleep that morning. Watson: You never told me this, Mr Baker. Baker: Well, no, sir. I didn't want to trouble you with the details. Watson: If she was so tired, should she have been at work? Baker: That was my decision, sir. And I stand by it. It's easy enough to make judgments in hindsight. Foyle: Anaemic evidently. Er, taking a supplement for iron deficiency. Baker: Yes, she was tired. Yes, she was under a great deal of stress. But that's all there is to it. She made a mistake. Watson: It does happen, Mr Foyle. There are munitions workers all over the country missing fingers and worse. Baker: There's no way this could be anything more than a terrible accident. Foyle: She also mentioned something about a theft. Baker: What theft? First it's mrder. Now it's theft. There is no theft in this factory, Mr Foyle. All the girls are searched for anything metallic - hairpins, safety pins, anything that might cause a spark. Cigarettes, lighters, matches too. On the way in and on the way out. Watson: They're watched throughout the day. We have passers, over-lookers and inspectors. Foyle: So, no idea what she meant? Baker: Absolutely not. Foyle: Possible to speak to a Hilda Greenwood? Watson exchanges a look with Baker, who leads Foyle out. Factory floor. Hilda is holding the envelope. Hilda: Oh, that was her handwriting. What was inside it? Foyle: It was empty. Hilda: "Jane Milner". She was the woman- Foyle: That's right. Hilda: Oh, Lord! Foyle: Well, they were friends evidently and, er, she got this just before she died. Hilda: I don't understand what you're saying, Mr Foyle. I don't think I want to understand. Foyle: You thought Grace had been klled deliberately. Hilda: I never said that. Foyle: Isn't that why you came to see me? She was frightened. Erm, isn't that what you said? Hilda: Yes. Foyle: About some stealing going on here. Hilda: That's what she said. But that's all she said. Oh, I wish I'd spent more time with her now, but you know how it is. You're either late for your shift or you want to get out of here as soon as you can. I've told you everything I know. Foyle: Right. You ever meet her boyfriend? Hilda: No. Foyle: Er, so, did she say anything about him? Hilda: Er, she thought he was going to marry her, silly little minx. One born every minute, isn't there? Er, she used to say he was like that actor in all those films. You know, whatshisname. Jimmy someone. Foyle: Stewart? Hilda: Cagney. Foyle: Oh. Hilda: Yes, he hero-worships him. That's what she said. Showed me his photo once. Handsome enough devil. He was the one who persuaded her to come here, the wr effort. Foyle: Right. Hilda: All right for him. He wasn't the one who got blown up. Foyle: He was at the funeral, wasn't he? Hilda: Yes, that's the only time I ever saw him, really. I didn't like him. There was something about him that gave me the creeps. Foyle: Don't suppose you know where I can find him? Hilda: No. All she ever told me was his name. And not even his full name. Harry. Johnson garage. Harry heats a metal rod in the brazier and begins to hammer it. Sam pulls up outside in the car, still spewing steam. She walks around to the entrance. Sam: Hello! I'm sorry to bother you but it's my car. I wonder if you can help. Um, it seems I have a split radiator. Harry: Oh, sorry. I can't do nothing for you. This is a private garage and we're full. Sam: Well, if you could seal it, even briefly. You see this is a police vehicle, so it sort of takes priority. Harry: You the police? Sam: Yes. Do I know you from somewhere? I do, don't I? You were at the funeral. You're Grace Phillips's friend. Harry: What of it? Sam: Well, you seemed so obviously upset. You were going to be married. Harry: Maybe. Sam: I'm sorry. Harry: Why was you there? Sam: Well, it is difficult to explain. Harry: You was there, and now you're here. What's your game? He walks towards her, and she edges away from him. Sam: Nothing. I told you. My car's broken down. Harry: Nice and convenient. Sam: Look, I was near here and I saw your garage first, but if you're too busy to mend it, I quite understand. I'll just take it elsewhere. Harry: You're not going anywhere. Sam: Now, wait a minute. Eric walks in. Eric: Harry, Harry. What's going on? Harry: We got trouble. Eric: What? Harry: She's a copper. She's been following me. Sam: No. I'm not, really. I haven't, I promise you. Not at all. Harry: She's been asking questions. Sam: I just wanted to get my car mended. Eric: Harry, come on. She's got nothing to do with us. Just let her go. Harry: We can't risk it. Eric: What you talking about? Harry: Oh, just shut your face! Sam grabs a coal shovel and tosses hot coals at him. Harry: Argh! He flinches away. Eric moves to intercept him as Sam runs. Eric: Get, get out! Get out! Go, go! Harry grabs a screwdriver. Harry: Out of my way! Out! Get out! As Sam runs off, he sab Eric with the screwdriver. Eric looks down at it sticking out of his abdomen. Eric: Harry, what you done? You bloody fool, Harry. Harry: You, you shouldn't have got in the way. You shouldn't have got in the way. Eric collapses to his knees. Eric: You've hurt me. You've hurt me. A street in Hastings. Edith and Milner are walking along. Edith: You know, I, I went to see Mr Foyle. Milner: Why? Edie, you shouldn't have. Edith: I thought- I can't see why he's doing this. He knows you. He can't possibly think you- Milner: He's only doing what he has to. I'd do the same. Edith: How do you think...? I mean, do you have any idea how that blood got onto your shirt? Milner: I don't know. It has to be a mistake. Edith: Paul... Only that if you had klled her, I could try to understand. I mean... Milner: No, Edie. You must never say that. Edith: Why? Milner: Because mrder is mrder. I've met men like that, and you must never believe, even for a minute, that I'm capable of, of that. Edith: I'm sorry. He walks away. Police station. Foyle walks through into the back, passing Sergeant Brooke. Brooke: Sir. Foyle: Is Sam back? Brooke: No, sir. But, er, Sergeant Milner's here, and Mr Bradshawe's standing by. Foyle: Right. Foyle walks up to Milner where he stands in front of his office. Foyle: Ready for this? Milner: If you think it'll help. Foyle: Well, I think it'll sort it out, don't you? Unless you'd rather...? Milner: No, sir. No, I want to do it. Foyle: Good. Back yard behind the police station. An identity parade has been set up. Peters is taking to Bradshawe. Peters: Just take your time. Bradshawe: Yes. Just take as long as I like. Peters nods. Bradshawe: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Foyle emerges from the building and watches for a moment, then walks up to Bradshawe. Foyle: Mr Bradshawe, hello. You understand what you've got to do? Bradshawe: Yes. Yes, I understand. Foyle: Good. Take your time. Bradshawe: I understand what to do. Foyle: Good. Bradshawe walks along and studies the men in the identity parade. He moves past Milner, then moves back to him. Then he goes to Foyle. Bradshawe: (This is the man.) Peters looks from him to Milner. Foyle: This is the man you saw in the alley? Bradshawe: Yeah. He was there. Foyle: This is the man you saw with the woman Jane Milner? Bradshawe: I'm sure it was him. Foyle: Well, thank you, Mr Bradshawe. Er, thank you. He nods towards some of the uniformed officers. Foyle: Would you be kind enough to see Mr Bradshawe home? Thank you. The members of the identity parade file in. Peters lingers a moment before following him. Milner: He couldn't have seen me, sir. I wasn't there. Police station front desk. Brooke watches as Milner is escorted out by a policeman. Foyle walks after him. Brooke: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Yeah? Brooke: Well, pardon my saying it, sir, but you must have it wrong. Foyle: Oh, yeah? Brooke: Well, I haven't known Sergeant Milner all that long, but, er, a man less likely to mrder his wife is hard to imagine. Foyle: Well, that's very helpful. Anything else you want to say before I get you transferred? Brooke: No, sir. Foyle: Who did pick up Mr Bradshawe from his home? Brooke: Constable Peters, sir. As you asked. Foyle: I want to see him. Brooke: Right away, sir. He hurries off. Foyle's office. Foyle: Know why you're here? Peters: No, sir. Foyle: Well, it looks like I'm going to need a new sergeant. Peters: Yes, sir. I suppose so. Foyle: I understand, erm, you and Milner trained together at Brighton. Joined the force about the same time. He got promoted, you didn't. Peters: That's about right, sir. Foyle: Mmm. Well, it's never too late. Interested? He sits down and Peters joins him at the desk. Peters: To work with you, sir? Anyone would, er, jump at the opportunity. Foyle: Get the impression that, erm, you never liked Milner much, anyway. Is that right? Peters: You want the truth, sir? Foyle: Generally, find it helps. Peters: I, I thought he was a bit hoity-toity. Foyle: Yeah, could be a bit unreasonable sometimes, don't you think? I mean that business at the, er, restaurant, for example. Peters: I did think he came down on me and the lads a bit much, sir. Foyle: You were only stealing food. Peters: It was there for the taking. Foyle: Yep. And he disciplined you and, erm, you thought you'd get your own back? Peters: What do you mean, sir? Foyle: Well, what I mean is, erm, you picked Mr Bradshawe up, old, unreliable Mr Bradshawe. Bags of opportunity to describe Milner to him, even perhaps help to point him out. Peters: No, sir. Foyle: And it seems to me, there are only two ways that, er, Milner's wife's blood could have finished up on his shirt. A, if he'd mrder her. Peters: Well, that's what- Peters: And, B, if somebody had put it there. Foyle: You brought the body in. Peters: Not on my own, sir. Foyle: You... searched his room. Peters: Look... I never meant it to go this far. Foyle: Well, how far did you mean it to go? The hanging? Peters: No, no, no, no. It started as a prank. That's all. He got at me, so I thought I'd have one back on him. It was just a stupid joke. I just wanted to see him sweat a bit. But once it'd gn, I couldn't stop it. I wasn't going to let him hang. Of course I wasn't. What you gonna do with me, sir? Foyle: You'll be charged with obstruction and perverting the course of justice, for starters. Would you be kind enough to leave now, please? Police station reception area. Sam rushes through the doors into the back, out of breath, her hair dishevelled. Sam: Sergeant Brooke! Brooke turns to shout down the corridor. Brooke: Mr Foyle, sir! Sam: He's mad. He's quite mad. Brooke comes back to sit beside her. Johnson garage. Eric's dad body lies on the floor. There are police cars parked outside. Neville Johnson comes running towards the building and approaches the policeman on guard at the door. Policeman: Sir. Foyle is standing looking at the body. Johnson comes in and sees Eric's body. Johnson: Oh, my God. Oh my God. Oh God. Who are you? Foyle: Well, I'm a policeman. Who are you? Johnson: This is my garage. I'm Neville Johnson. W-was he like that when you found him? That's a screwdriver. Foyle: You know him? Johnson: Of course I know him. That's Eric. Eric Clayton. He worked for me. This is- this is Harry done this, didn't he? He did this to him. Foyle: Did he? Johnson: I should have known. I never should have employed the little bastard. Foyle: Why's that? Johnson: I always knew there was something wrong with him. Sick in the head. A nasty piece of work. Foyle: That have, erm, anything to do with why he hadn't been called up? Johnson: No, he- he said he was asthmatic. That's what he told me. I think... I think the forces probably just took one look at him, and decided they could manage without him. I don't believe this. I just don't believe this. Foyle: Where is he now? Johnson: Harry? Well, he gave me an address on Helm Street, but he was never there. Spent most of his time with his friend. Foyle: Friend? Johnson: That girl, Grace Philips. Of course, er, they were more than just friends. He, he thought I didn't know, but I had a good idea what was going on in there. Foyle: In where? Johnson: There's a flat at the back, over the sab. I mentioned to him and Eric that I wanted to rent it out, and the next thing I know, she appears out of nowhere. A munitions worker. Nice girl. That's what I thought. Was only later on that I realised that they were together. Of course, by then it was too late. Foyle: But you, er, let her stay? Johnson: She paid the rent. On the dot every week. There was nothing wrong with her, except she, she managed to fall in with him. Foyle: Can I see the flat? Johnson: Er, yeah. Yeah, of course. He leads the way. Grace's flat. Johnson: This is more or less how she left it. I didn't quite know what to do after she... thought a relation, someone might come for her stuff. Foyle goes over to the nightstand and picks up the prescription envelope for Grace's supplement. Johnson: What's that? Medicine? I never knew she was ill. Foyle sniffs the envelope. Foyle: It's, erm, a supplement for an iron deficiency. He sniffs the glass as well. Then he goes over to open the wardrobe. Johnson: That's his clobber. Disgusting, innit? Young people nowadays, they've got no sense of decency. Foyle: Well, I think, er, she thought he was gonna marry her, didn't she? Johnson: Well, I suppose he could turn on the charm when he wanted to. After all, he fooled me. When he first started work, I thought he was, you know, just a good-looking boy. Foyle pulls a box on from the bottom of the wardrobe. Johnson: What's that you've got there? The box contains wire and various components, as well as a package of Durex condoms. Johnson: Oh, well. That just goes to show you. That's exactly what I was talking about. Foyle: I don't think they were going to be used for what, er, you think they were, Mr Johnson. Hairdresser's. Mollie is sorting through some magazines when Harry knocks on the door. Mollie opens it. Mollie: I'm sorry. We're closed. Harry: Yes, I, I, I, I know. Um, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to bother you. He edges his way in. Harry: I, I just wondered whether I could... He closes the door behind him. Harry: Erm, well, er, the thing is... He shoves Mollie backwards and she screams. Factory floor. Foyle is walking along with Watson and Baker. Baker: I've already told you, Mr Foyle, the last time you were here. All the workers are searched as a matter of course. They're also scrutinised every minute of the day. Why do you need to ask again? Foyle: Well, the last time I was here, I wasn't aware she was involved with a safebreaker. Watson: Really? Foyle: They shared a room together. We found wires, buttons, tamping sticks, prophylactics. Watson: Condoms? Foyle: Condoms are filled with explsives and placed, er, between the back of the door plate and the front of the lock cap. What he was short of were the explsives. Watson: You think they came from here? Foyle: Er, e do, through Grace. He might even have been responsible for her death. Baker: He klled her? How? He couldn't have got through the gate. Foyle: He wouldn't have needed to. They walk through into the shell-filling room. Foyle: What chemicals did she have access to? Baker: Mainly cordite and TNT. Brought from the storeroom over there. Everything measured and recorded. Foyle: Nothing else? Baker: We store a very small amount of nitroglycerine. Watson: It's unstable. Horrible stuff. Baker: And that's putting it mildly. Even assuming she could have got her hands on it, she couldn't have smuggled it out of here without blwing herself to pieces. Watson: Possible she could have used sab it with methadone. Baker: Still too dangerous. Foyle: Right, well, thank you. They walk out through a set of double doors. Foyle: Incidentally, Grace Phillips's mother? Baker: Yes? Foyle: The mother you took a collection for. Baker: What about her? Foyle: She's been dad fifteen years. Watson: Is that true? Foyle: How much did you collect? Watson: Answer the question. Baker: About £18. Watson: And you kept it? Foyle: Well, thanks again. I'll leave you with that one. He turns to go. High Street. There are police cars outside the Southern Bank next to the hairdresser's. Milner gets out of one. A uniformed officer lifts the police barrier to let Sam and Foyle drive through and Foyle gets out of the car. Milner: Sir, we got a call saying banging had been heard coming from the bank. I can't get hold of the manager. Incidentally, this is the bank that handles the munitions factory payroll. Foyle: A call from whom? Milner: Er, the solicitors at the back. Foyle: Not the hairdresser? Milner: No, sir. Foyle: Have you been in there? Milner: Er, no, sir, not yet. Foyle: Is it open? Milner: Erm, I don't think so. Doesn't seem to be anybody there. Foyle: What, not even Mrs, erm...? Milner: Mrs Summersgill. No. Sam walks over to join them. Foyle: Do we know where, er, Harry Osborne is? Milner: No, sir, we don't. Foyle: Thinking what I'm thinking? Sam: Isn't this the place where your wife used to work? Milner: And Grace. Sam: This is to do with the explsives, isn't it, sir? Foyle: Possibly. Well, we should take a look. Milner: I don't mind going in, sir. Foyle: Well, neither do I, and, er, perhaps this isn't the best time for you and Mrs, erm- Milner: Summersgill. Foyle: Mmm. Milner: True. Sir, if he is in there, why don't we wait until he's finished what he's doing, and arrest him when he comes out? Foyle: Well, that'd be fine, if we knew for a fact that she wasn't in there. He walks towards the hairdresser's. Inside. The front room is empty. Foyle walks towards a door leading into the back. A bottle has been knocked onto the floor and is dripping its contents down the basement stairs. Foyle goes the steps and sees a hole has been knocked through into the basement of the bank next door. He climbs through it and walks through the basement, where he sees Mollie, tied up and gagged. She nods him onward and he rounds the next corner to find Harry wiring a mechanism up to the vault door. Harry: Who the hell are you? Foyle: I'm a policeman. Harry: How'd you find me? Foyle: I came through that hole in the wall. Harry: Has Eric bought it? Foyle: He has. Harry: Then they'll hang me, won't they? Foyle: Perhaps. Harry: You on your tod? He goes to look. Foyle: Well... you like gangster films, don't you? Isn't that right? Harry: Yeah. Foyle: Well, you probably know the answer to that question, then. Harry (American accent): You've, er, got the place surrounded. Foyle: Yep. Harry: You think I'm going to give myself up? There's just you. You going to make me or do you think you can talk me out, make me see reason? Well, you're wrong. D'you know what this is? He picks up a flash of yellowish liquid. Foyle: Tell me. Harry: It's nitroglycerine. I smash this, we all die. What d'you say about that, copper? Foyle: Did Grace get that for you? Harry: That's right. Foyle: How did she do that? Harry: Oh, it was easy. They thought they were so clever at the factory with all their narks. She said she'd never be able to do it, but in the end she just walked into the storeroom in her lunch break. No one was there. Foyle: Well, she'd have been searched, wouldn't she? Harry shakes the flask a little. Harry: She sewed a little pocket in her dress. In the hem. Foyle: Right. Harry: Nobody looked there. It was easy! Around the next corner, Mollie starts to whimper. Harry: Shut up! They will hang me, won't they? Yeah, they will. This is faster. We all go together. And it's fun! I take a copper with me. Foyle: There's something I'd quite like to know. Harry: You would like to know. What would you like to know? Foyle: How you klled her. Harry: Gracie? Foyle: Mmm. You put something in her medicine, didn't you? Strychnine, wasn't it? Harry: Who told you that? Foyle: Well, you left it in the glass. Harry: Well, yeah. That's right, Mr Policeman. But it was rat poison. Foyle: Right. So, er, you got her to steal this stuff? Harry: Yeah. Foyle: And she got frightened? Harry: She got cold feet. "Oh, don't do it, Harry. You mustn't do it. We don't need the money." But I wanted to do it, so I made her get me the stuff. I mean, why d'you think I was walking out with her in the first place? Foyle: Right. What, so she, er, she stole it and then, er, had second thoughts? Harry: Yeah, she asked me to give it back or get rid of it. I knew she was gonna tell someone. I did it like you said. I poisoned her. I, I thought she'd have croaked it before she even got to the factory, but... that wasn't how it happened, was it? He laughs. Flashback to Grace dropping the shell casing and the explsin. Harry (voiceover): You must admit it's the perfect mrder. She blew herself up. Cut back to the bank basement. Harry: I couldn't believe it when I heard. All the evidence gone. No dad body for you to poke around with. Nothing. But then that was Gracie for you. She was always very considerate. Foyle: But she wrote the letter. Harry: You like it all neat, don't you? Dot the Is and cross the Ts. How long have you been a copper? Yeah. Some old friend of hers. I didn't know that until that interfering bitch came up to me the garage. She had a letter and she knew all about me, and then suddenly Grace is dad, and she thinks I've got something to do with it. She thrat me. You know what? Flashback to Harry striking Jane in the alley. Harry (voiceover): I followed her into town and then I ht her with a brick. I klled her. Harry takes the envelope from Jane's handbag and removes the letter from it. He drops the envelope on the ground and looks at the letter for a moment before pocketing it. Harry (voiceover): I took the letter and that was that, you know. Grace shouldn't have written to her, you know? It was stupid of her. Bank basement. Harry: If it- if hadn't been for Grace, then I wouldn't have had to touch her. He shakes the flask. Harry: Is there, er, anything else you want to know? Foyle: No, I think that about covers it. Harry: Yeah. I think you're right. You know, that's funny, really. When your friends come in, they're not going to know which is you and which is me and which is her. He points at Mollie. Harry: There's just going to be pieces, and in the end, they'll have to bury us together. For ever and ever. He throws the flask on the ground. It smashes and the liquid spills. He looks up at Foyle. Harry: Grace. Oh, Grace. You lying bitch. Foyle: Nice sense of humour, though. Later. A uniformed officer takes the gag off Mollie and helps her up. Mollie: Oh, thank you. Thank you. Hairdresser's. Milner watches as Harry is led up the basement stairs and out. Foyle follows him up. Milner: So it was just glycerine. Foyle: It was, coloured. Nothing nitro about it. Milner: And did you know that? Foyle: Well, she couldn't have got the real stuff out of the factory, A because the searches were too rigorous and, B, if she had, she'd have blown herself up. Milner: But she had to give him something to keep him sweet. Foyle: And as soon as she did she knew she was in trouble, and that's perhaps when she, er, wrote to your wife. Milner: And he klled her. Foyle: I'm sorry. Sam joins the two of them. Sam: This whole thing, trying to rob the bank, all the klling. He was completely off his rocker. Milner leaves. Foyle: Seems so, anyway. Thank you. Sam: For what? Foyle: For finding him. Sam: Well, it was just an accident. Foyle: Well, your accidents are very helpful. Sam: Are they, sir? I'll have to arrange some more, then. Foyle: And you also helped confirm that Grace's mother was dad. Sam: Did I? Well, all I knew that she wasn't at the funeral. Foyle: Well, surviving mothers tend to turn up to their daughters' funerals, don't they? Sam: Yes Foyle: Mmm. He goes to leave and she follows him out. Sam: Of course they do. Outside. Milner goes over to join Edith where she's standing behind the crowd barrier. A policeman lifts it to let out. Edith: Is it true? Is it over? Milner nods. Edith: Thank God. You know I would have stood by you. Whatever. Milner: I know. They kiss and then walk on together. Police station. Sam walks along the corridor, then goes to take another peek through the evidence room window. The turkey has been removed, a photograph of it propped up in its place. Sam: Brookie! She hurries back to the front desk. Sam: The turkey! Brooke: I know, Miss Stewart. Sam: What happened to it? Brooke: Oh, I wish I could tell you. But Mr Foyle's gone up the wall, and he was asking for you. Sam: Well, he doesn't think I took it, does he? Brooke: Well, I wouldn't like to say. But I can tell you, he had steam coming out of his ears. Sam: And he's looking for me? Brooke: He said you were to see him the moment you came in. He smiles as he watches her walk office. Foyle's office. Sam walks in and hurries up to his desk. Sam: Sir. Foyle: Yeah. Sam: I just want you to know that I had nothing whatsoever to do with the disappearance of the turkey. Foyle: I know. Sam: I don't know who took it, and I've no idea why they left a photograph. You know? Foyle: The photograph is the evidence. Sam: I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand. Foyle: Well, in the circumstances I thought, much as you did, what a waste of a turkey. So I rang the local magistrate. Sam: And he said we could eat it? Foyle: No, he didn't say we could eat it. He did say he'd give us special dispensation to use the photograph as evidence. Sam: So who is going to eat it? Foyle: Well, I thought we'd offer it to the children, the local evacuees. Sam: That's a terribly good idea, sir. Foyle: Well, I'm glad you think so. The magistrate seemed to. Would you mind driving it round? Sam: Not at all. There's a knock at the door. Foyle: Yep. You manage that? Brooke enters with the plucked turkey. Sam: Absolutely. Brooke: Here we are, sir. All plucked and ready for the oven. My mum's old recipe. Foyle: Right. Brooke: Though it was a bit tricky stuffing it without any onions. Foyle: They, um, also hoped you'd, er, be able to join them. Sam: When? Foyle: Tomorrow, lunch? Sam: Well, that would be wonderful, sir. Brooke hands her the turkey. Sam: The evacuees. Erm, I had them in mind, really. All the time. She backs out with the turkey. Foyle: Ah. She and Brooke leave. An open square in Hastings. Foyle is walking along. An ARP warden, Perkins, is coming the other way. The bells of a nearby church start ringing, and everyone stops to look. Perkins: You hear that? They're ringing the bells again. It's all over for h*tler. He's finished! Happy Christmas. Foyle: And you. They go their separate ways. The church bells keep ringing.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "05x01 - Bleak Midwinter"}	foreverdreaming
Beach, night. Teenage brothers Frank and Terry Morgan walk along, Frank carrying a coil of rope and Terry a bag. CAPTION: HASTINGS, MARCH 1943 Frank: Bloody rope. Terry: What? What, is it too heavy for you? Terry jostles Frank. Frank: Ah! They laugh. Later. The two of them are leaving a hut on the beach. Frank: Come on. Terry: I'm coming. Frank: Got the torch? Terry: Yeah. Frank: Trust me. Come on. Woods. The brothers walk through the trees and come to a house wall. Frank: Right, this is the place. Terry: You sure? Frank: I told you, there's no one there. Terry: Okey-dokey. Frank: Up. Come on. Hurry up. Terry climbs over the gate and Frank follows. They cross the grounds of the house. Frank: I love the wr. The blackout. No cars on the street. It just makes life so easy. Terry: You sure there's no one here? Frank: No. Hand it over. Terry pulls a crowbar out of his coat and gives it to Frank. Frank: Trust me, mate. This'll do it. Inside. A room with a grand crystal chandelier and fancy décor. There's the sound of shattering glass, and then the door opens and the boys walk in. Terry shines a torch around. Frank: Cor, look at this place. It's like a bloody museum. They enter a grand hall with pillars and statues. Frank: This stuff must be worth a fortune. Terry: No bloody use to us. Frank: Look, we can find the smaller stuff. A light clicks on up on the staircase behind them. They turn to see the house owner, Jose De Perez, wearing a smoking jacket and holding a revolver. De Perez: Who are you? What are you doing here? Terry: Frank? Frank: We got the wrong house. We thought a friend lived here. De Perez: You are thieves. I heard you break the door. Frank: No. No, you got it wrong, mate. He hides the crowbar behind his back. De Perez: Tell me your names. If you do not tell me, I will sht you where you stand. I will start with him. He cocks the gn and points it at Frank. Frank: Frank Morgan. That's my brother, Terry. De Perez: You are... burglars. Terry: We didn't mean anything, mister. We're sorry. We'll scram. De Perez: You will stay exactly where you are. Do you know what this place is? Do you know who I am? Frank: No, we just... De Perez: Shh-shh! He chuckles and descends the stairs to approach them. De Perez: This could be the very worst night of your life or it could be the best. It could make you very rich because it just so happens I am looking for someone just like you. Terry: What do you mean? De Perez backhands him across the face, keeping the gn pointed at Frank. Terry: Ah! De Perez: From now on, you speak only when you are spoken to. From now on, you work for me. OPENING CREDITS Foyle house. A young woman, Lydia Nicholson, looks up at the house from outside. Her son James is sitting on the front steps alongside some suitcases. Foyle comes around the corner behind her. Lydia turns and hurries over to him. Lydia: Don't you recognise me? Foyle: Lydia? Lydia: Was afraid you wouldn't. Foyle: You been here long? Lydia: No, no, no. Not long. We came on the coach. Foyle: Is this, erm...? She takes James by the arm and brings him down the steps to present him. Lydia: This is James. This is my son. Well, may we come in? Foyle: Well, of course. Yes, erm... Lydia: Come on, James. Pick your bag up. He unlocks the door and they walk through into the room. Foyle (offscreen): Here were are. Come on through. Lydia: In you go. James looks around as they walk through into the front room. Lydia: Sit down. Foyle: Right. Lydia: So, here I am. Foyle: Yes, well... looking very well. Lydia: I am well. I don't know what you must think of me, turning up like this. Foyle: Well, I was very sorry not to see you at the funeral. Lydia: Oh. Yeah, I wanted to go but they wouldn't have wanted me there. I'm sorry. I, I know how close you and Daddy were. Foyle looks at James, who sits on the sofa, ignoring them both. Lydia: My husband's in Tripoli. He's, erm, he's a staff sergeant in the 11th Hussars. Foyle: Right. You married him? Lydia: Yes. I'm Lydia Nicholson now. Foyle: Mmm. Lydia: Erm, I'm sorry you never met him. You know, you'd like him. Foyle: And, er, well, have you had something to eat? Lydia: No. Foyle: No? Lydia: No, we haven't had anything. Foyle: Would you like something What would you like? He looks at James, who doesn't look up. Lydia: He won't talk to you. He won't talk to anyone. He was, er, at Sibford Street School. Foyle: Ah. Right. Research centre, Melton Road. A car with an MTC driver is parked outside the building. Boothroyd (voiceover): It's a very simple question, Professor Townsend. A navy captain, Boothroyd, walks around a large mechanical device, speaking to Professor Henry Townsend. Boothroyd: Is it or isn't it going to work? Townsend: Well, the question may be simple, Captain Boothroyd, but I'm afraid the answer is rather less so. Boothroyd: We need to know. We've got the test tomorrow and the actual operation itself is planned for just one month from now. Townsend's assistant, Hans Lindemann, walks up to join them. Boothroyd: Now, we're only going to get one crack at this. We have to know. Hans: There's nothing wrong with the machine. It works. Townsend: Thank you, Hans. It's not just the machine. There are all sorts of elements we need to factor in. Initial velocity, underbody turbulence, speed and height, of course. And then there's the question of weight. Secretary Evelyn Richards approaches him. Evelyn: These are the latest figures we've received, professor. They're reducing both the size and weight. He takes a document from her and puts his glasses on. Townsend: Mmm. Well, may make a difference. I don't know. And then there's still the question of the framework. Boothroyd: I'm sorry? Townsend: These wooden slats that will encase the central sphere. Hans: That's the problem. They won't hold. Townsend: Well, we don't know, of course, but it's what we believe. Anyway, tomorrow's tests will tell us one way or another. Boothroyd: Well, maybe we should cancel the test. Townsend: Absolutely not. There's a whole world of difference between theory and practice. We need to see this in action. Boothroyd: Professor Townsend, I think you're forgetting the reason why this unit was set up. Mr Tizard wants facts, not assumptions. He will not continue to support this project without your assurance that it will actually work. Townsend: And I think I've explained to you, I cannot give him that... yet. Boothroyd: Well, I hope for your sake that this test is a success. You're running out of time. We all are. He leaves. Melton Road. Frank and Terry crouch down in the underbrush outside the research centre. Frank consults a photograph of the building. Frank: Looks like a bit of a dump. Boothroyd leaves the building in front of them, and they duck down further. He goes over to get in his car. Frank: Just as long as we get paid. We're doing all right out of this, and when the wr ends, we're going to be well set up. Boothroyd's car drive away. Terry: So what we gonna do this time? Frank: What do you think? He takes out a cigarette lighter and burns the photograph. Foyle house. James eats a slice of bread and jam, ignoring the adults as they talk. Lydia: There was just one bmb. They say it was a thousand-pounder. I don't suppose the pilot knew he'd targeted a school. The teachers had heard the plane and they were leading the children down when they- when it ht. 38 of them were klled. And six teachers. When I got there, it was... Well, you can imagine. Those tiny bodies. Some of them six years old. And nobody crying. Nobody screaming. Some of the older children were searching through the rubble, "Can I help, Miss?" James wasn't hurt. Not even a scratch. But he hasn't spoken since. He won't say anything. He's like this all the time. I'm not even sure he knows I'm there. Foyle: Does his father know? Lydia: I told him about the bmb and that James wasn't hurt. That's all. Robert is a wonderful father. I wasn't wrong about him, you know, no matter what everyone said. Foyle: Why have you come here? Lydia: What? You want us to go? Foyle: No, no, no. No, I didn't say that. I just, erm, well, we haven't seen each other for ten years, er, we haven't been in touch. Er, all of a sudden you're here and... Lydia: I'd nowhere else to go. Things have been rather difficult for me. I have a job. I'm, erm... I'm an OWL operator. You know, operator, wireless and line. It's with the Army and it's very important work and, well, having James like this, it makes it completely impossible. Well, the MO said maybe what he needed was a, a change of scenery, a bit of fresh air and when he mentioned the seaside, well, I thought of you. I, I thought, maybe if we could stay with you just, just for a few days, you know, maybe...? She falls silent. Foyle watches James. Richards house. Michael Richards peers out of the window at Evelyn as she walks along with Hans, who is wheeling a bike. Evelyn: Thank you for walking home with me, Hans. Hans: Good night. As she starts up the steps, Michael hurries away from the window. Hans wheels his bike away across the road. Front room. Evelyn closes the door, and turns to see Michael, now standing casually leafing through a book. Michael: Ah. You're home early. Evelyn: Well, yes. Michael: I haven't started the tea yet, erm... Evelyn: I'll do it. Michael: Oh, will you? Oh, no, no, no. That's my job. You sit down. You must be tired. Did you... walk home, erm, by yourself? Evelyn: No, Hans came with me. You were watching. Michael: Hans. And how is Hans? Evelyn: Please don't start this again, Michael. We do this all the time. Round and round in circles. Michael: You're the one in the circle. Evelyn: I'll make the tea. And why don't we go out this evening, the two of us? We can go to the pub. Michael: Don't patronise me, Evelyn. I'm already going out. I'm seeing some friends. He leaves the room. Foyle house. Sam knocks on the door. James opens it. Sam: Oh! Hello. I'm Sam. Is Mr Foyle in? I'm his driver. Lydia: James! Oh. I- I'm sorry. I, I, I didn't see him open the door. Sam: That's all right. I'll wait here. Lydia: All right. She heads back into the house. Front room. Foyle gets his hat and coat. Foyle: You going to be all right? Lydia: Oh, yes. I, er, I'm going to take him down to the sea. Foyle: Well, erm... get yourself some lunch. He hands her some money. Foyle: Er, the British Restaurant is as good as any. Lydia: I do appreciate this. Foyle: See you this evening. He leaves. Outside. Foyle and Sam walk round the corner to the car. Sam: Isn't it absolutely wonderful what the Russians are doing, sir? Have you read the papers? Good old Uncle Joe, that's what I say. Foyle: Her name is Lydia. I'm her godfather. James is her son. Sam: Thank you. I wasn't gonna ask. Foyle: Well, of course you weren't. Sam: You haven't mentioned her before. Foyle: I haven't seen them for a very long time. I knew her parents. Er, her father was my commanding officer. They were both klled in the Blitz. Sam: Oh, I'm sorry. Well, what are you going to do with them? Foyle: I'm not at all sure, but if you'd keep quiet about this for the moment, I'd appreciate it. Sam: I'll keep mum. You know me. Foyle: Yeah... They get into the car. Foyle's office. Assistant Commissioner Henry Parkins paces around the room, waiting. Police station reception area. Foyle enters and Sergeant Brooke calls out to him from behind the desk. Brooke: Mr Foyle. Morning, sir. Foyle: Good morning. Brooke: I was expecting you half an hour ago, sir. Foyle: Yeah. Brooke: Er, Mr Parkins is here, sir. The new Assistant Commissioner. He arrived early so I, I put him in your office. Foyle: Thanks. He walks into the office and closes the door behind him. Parkins: You must be Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle. Brooke: That's right. They shake hands. Parkins: Not a good start, if I may say so. I don't like being kept waiting. Foyle: Well, it's nine o'clock, sir. We were told to expect you at eleven. Parkins: No matter. I take it you received my letter. Foyle: I did. Erm, this is something about gambling, isn't it? Parkins: From the tone of your voice, I take it you don't consider it to be a matter of importance. Well, it is, I can assure you. In fact, I've received instructions at the very highest level. Foyle: Er, what instructions exactly? Parkins: To crack down, Foyle! Look, we've got these pontoon schools everywhere, not just in Pall Mall and Chelsea. Sometimes £10,000 changes hands in one night. They're in shipyards, factories, air-raid shelters, and some workers are losing a month's wages in one throw. Marked cards, impossible odds. What you're talking about here is nothing short of organised crime. Foyle: We do have a sergeant looking into it. Parkins: Just one man? Foyle: He's a very capable man. Parkins: I don't think it's good enough. Foyle: Perhaps you should wait to see the report. Parkins: I take it you're too busy to look into this matter yourself. Foyle: Well, I am as a matter of fact. Parkins: Anything you care to share with me? Foyle: Well, you're very welcome to see the file. He slides a file across the desk for Parkins to read. Parkins: Sabotage? Foyle: That's right. Parkins: And? Foyle: Well, there's been a, a fre at the munitions works. Another at, er, the docks. Telephone lines have been brought down and all by the same people, as far as we can see. Parkins: What makes you think that? Foyle: Just a feeling. Parkins: A gng of saboteurs working their way along the coast. That could be a serious business. Foyle: Not quite as serious as the gambling perhaps but, erm... Parkins: I should warn you, Foyle. I've been told about you. You get results. You're a good worker. But you're also insubordinate. You seem to forget that you're part of a chain of command that stretches all the way back to London. Well, I'm here to remind you that you're not indispensable. Foyle: Well, I'm very pleased to hear it. Parkins: I shall be here for a week. I shall be visiting other stations. I've booked in at the Regency Hotel. May I borrow your driver? Foyle: Er, please do. Parkins leaves and walks through to the reception area. Brooke (offscreen): It was a UXB. Scared the life out of him, he choked on a chicken bone. Sam: I've not seen one. Parkins: I need Mr Foyle's driver to take me to the Regency Hotel. Where is he? Sam: Oh, that's me, sir. Parkins: What? Sam: I'm Mr Foyle's driver. Parkins: But that's not a police uniform. Sam: Well, no. I was, erm, transferred from the MTC. I know it's irregular but what with the wr and everything, there was no one else. Parkins: It's more than irregular. A transfer from the MTC? That's unheard of. How long has this been going on for? Sam: About three years. I don't mind, really! Parkins: It's not you I'm thinking of. It's police procedure. Brooke: Would you rather walk, sir? Parkins: I'd thank you not to be insolent, Sergeant. How far is it? Sam: About half an hour. Uphill. Parkins: Where's the car? Sam: This way, sir. She leads him out. Milner's office. He's going through the filing cabinet as Foyle walks past the door. Foyle: Any luck? Milner: Oh, yes, sir. I've managed to join a game tonight. Foyle: Where's that? Milner: Er, they're meeting at a warehouse. Foyle: They? Milner: No names yet, but they're a London-based gng. They run games in the docks. Foyle: What sort of games? Milner: Dice. Crown and Anchor. Looks fair enough on the face of it but as soon as you start betting on doubles and triples, the odds are stacked against you. Foyle: Need any help? Milner: Er, I don't think so, sir. I'll get some names and then I'll make the arrest. Foyle: Right. Milner: And get the Assistant Commissioner off your back. Foyle: Thank you. Beach. Townsend looks out over the water through binoculars. Boothroyd stands beside him, while another man is filming the events on a camera. Townsend: Here it comes. A plane flies low over the water and drops and explsive. Boothroyd: What happened? Townsend lowers his binoculars. Boothroyd: I didn't see. What happened? Townsend just turns and walks back to his car. Warehouse, north wharf, night. Hendry (voiceover): Come on, gentlemen, come on. Money down. Inside, a group of men stand around the dice table. Hendry: All right. Come on, then, last throw of the evening, I'm in a generous mood. Michael Richards is in the crowd. Hendry: I'm offering 4-1 on triples. 3-1 on doubles. Evens all the rest. The Morgan brothers are there too. Hendry's associates Howarth and Riley stand by watching. Frank: Three crowns. Here's a quid. Milner stands in the background, watching. Man: Doubles on hearts. Man 2: Diamonds the same. Michael hurriedly approaches Hendry. Michael: Will you take an IOU? Henry: Mr Richards, unless I'm very much mistaken you're already... Howarth: 30 bob. Henry: 30 shillings down. Michael: Come on, Hendry, you know I'm good for it. Hendry: What you betting? Michael: Five bob on spades. Hendry: All right. Put him down. Frank: What's all this chat about? Get on with it. Hendry: Young man in an 'urry, eh? All right. Any more bets? Men: We're out. Milner shakes his head. Henry rolls the dice and there are disappointed groans. Hendry: Three anchors but no takers. Pay out on one heart, one crown and one club. And, gentlemen, that is the last throw of the evening. Thank you very much. Frank: Look, wait a minute. One more throw. Hendry: You've lost enough. Frank: No, I've got plenty of money. I'll put two nicker on crowns. Terry: Frank. Henry: Three crowns? Terry stands up. Terry: Let's go, Frank. Hendry: This is just for you. Hendry rolls the dice and there are groans. Hendry: And this- People pat Frank on the back. Man: Oh, bad luck, mate. Bad luck. Hendry: Is just for me. He scoops up the money. Michael Richards goes to leave, but is blocked by Riley. Riley: That's 35 shillings, Mr Richards. Michael: Yes, of course. Erm, Well, I'll, I'll make it up to you. I just need a bit of time. Riley: How much time? Michael: Riley, let him go. Henry: Mr Richards, you've got 24 hours. Then we come calling. Milner: Mr Hendry? I was wondering, when can I get another game? Hendry: I don't think I know you. Milner: No. Paul Milner. Hendry: I ain't seen you here before. Milner: Well, I haven't been here long. You from the Smoke? Hendry: Why d'you want to know? Milner: No reason. Hendry: I didn't see you put too much money on the table. Milner: Oh, well this was just a warm-up. Hendry: Pretty lukewarm, you ask me. Milner: You be here tomorrow night? Hendry: Maybe. Milner: All right. I'll see you, then. Hendry: Sure. As Milner leaves, Hendry jerks his head for Riley to follow him. Outside. As Milner walks along, Howarth and Riley emerge from the warehouse behind him. Terry (offscreen): So, how much did we lose? He's sitting on a wall nearby while Frank counts their money. Frank: I don't know how they do it. Every bloody time. Riley: Oi, copper. Oi! Milner looks round, laughing a little. Milner: Are you talking to me? Howarth: You think we can't see through you? Asking questions. Sniffing around. We can smell you. Riley pushes Milner. Milner: Hey! You've made a mistake. Riley grabs him by the front of his coat. Riley: Yeah? It's you who's made a mistake. Come on. He holds Milner back as Howarth punches him in the gut. Riley: And again! Terry jumps down from the wall. Terry: Frank. Riley: Get him! Howarth is still punching Milner. The Morgan brothers run over. Riley: And again! Milner falls to the ground. Frank: Hey, what are you doing? Riley: You get away from here, you nancies. It's none of your business. Frank: Yeah? The two boys grab Howarth and pull him away from Milner. They start wrestling with the two men. Milner gets up. Terry: Come on! ht him! Milner joins the fight and the two men run off. Frank: Yeah, you bloody cowards! Milner: Thanks. Frank: Hey, don't mention it, mate. Come on, Terry. Milner: Hey, wait! Milner stands clutching his head as the two boys leave. Foyle house. Foyle is at the table having tea. Lydia comes through from the hall carrying some bundled sheets. Foyle: Oh, morning. Lydia: Sorry. James has wet the bed. He, he does it quite often. Foyle stands up. Foyle: Oh, right. Well, um, is he all right? Lydia: Oh, yes, he's fine. Foyle: Yeah. Lydia: Shall I just take them through? Foyle: Yes, er, put them in there. She takes the sheets through into the next room. Foyle sighs. She comes back in. Foyle: Erm, breakfast? Lydia: Erm, not just yet, thanks. Foyle: Listen, not really any of my business but, erm, it seems to me perhaps you should be thinking about getting some help. Lydia: For me? Foyle: No, no, for James. Lydia: Well, what help is there? I've been to doctors, and they- well, they all say the same. He's still in shock because of what happened with the bmb. I'm hoping being here will help. Erm, how long can we stay here? Foyle: Well, how long were you thinking of? Lydia: Oh, I don't know. I've got nothing to get back to in London. It wasn't my fault, you know. I fell in love. Daddy didn't want to see me again. After James was born, it was as if I didn't exist. Foyle: Well, I don't know. I wasn't there but, erm, I was with your father in very difficult circumstances and the man you're describing is, er, frankly, nothing to do with the man I knew. Lydia: Well, it's as you say. You weren't there. He hurt me. Well, you all did. I was in love and I chose a life for myself with Robert. You didn't even try to understand. Foyle: I wrote to you. Lydia: Did you? Foyle: You didn't get the letter I wrote to you? Lydia: No. There's a knock at the door. Lydia: It's your driver. Foyle: Yes. Erm, well, listen. These people, erm, might be able to help. He writes something down on a piece of paper and hands it to her. Foyle: Try them. Lydia: Melanie Klein and Anna Freud? Foyle: Yeah, they've, they've been very helpful for, for some children. Lydia: They're Germans? Foyle: Erm, Jewish refugees, I believe. Lydia: You do realise if I wasn't here, James would have no one. Foyle: There's his father. Lydia: He had a father. A wonderful father. But, erm, I haven't heard from Robert in a long while and who knows where he is right now? Foyle leaves. Richards house. Michael is flicking through a book with a pen. Evelyn walks by. Evelyn: I'll see you, then. I've done the washing up and your lunch is in the pantry. Michael: Thank you. Evelyn: I- I may be home late. Michael: Oh, really? Evelyn: It's a big day. There was a test last night. Michael: A test? Evelyn: Don't ask me to talk about it, Michael. You know I can't. Michael: Whatever made you think I was going to ask you about it? It's nothing to do with me. Evelyn: So how much did you lose last night? Michael: What? Evelyn: I take it that's where you were. What was it? Chuck-a-luck? Pontoon? How much? Michael: A few bob. I've got to have something to do with my time. Evelyn: Well, don't go looking in my purse. There's nothing there. You've gone through the housekeeping. Michael: I've got my own money. Evelyn: You got through that weeks ago. Even the local shop won't take our credit. Michael: Well, that's all right for you, isn't it? What with your cushy little number. "Working late..." Evelyn: What's that meant to mean? Michael: You think I don't know what's going on? You think I'm just going to stand here and put up with it? Evelyn: What are you going to do, Michael? Are you going to be cruel to me? Are you going to start drinking? Are you going to hurt me? You've done it all already. I won't even notice. She walks out and he throws his book to the ground in frustration. Milner's office. Sam is dabbing at his head injury. Sam: Hold still. He hisses. Sam: Sorry. Does it hurt anywhere else? Milner: Everywhere. Sam: You should have had somebody else with you. Milner: Sam... Sam: Well, it could have been a lot worse. Foyle walks in. Foyle: Are you all right? Milner: Yes, sir, thank you. Sam: First aid training in the MTC. I always knew it would come in handy. Foyle: Are they, er, likely to be back? Milner: I doubt it. My guess is they'll move the game further down the coast. Foyle: Well, that's a result of a sort. Milner: Not the one the Assistant Commissioner wanted. Sam: Is it my imagination, sir, or is the new Assistant Commissioner even worse than the old one? Foyle: That's enough, thank you. Milner: Sir? Foyle: Yep. Milner: The two lads that helped me, Terry and Frank, I'd say they're brothers. The eldest couldn't have been more than eighteen, but they had plenty of cash and they were throwing it away. Foyle: Wealthy family? Milner: No, I don't think so. They didn't seem the sort. Foyle: Know where to find them? Milner: No, I don't but I'd like to have a go. Foyle: Do. He leaves. Sam: If it hadn't been for them, who knows what would have happened? Milner: Well, if I find them, I'll thank them. Beach. Lydia sits on the wooden breakwater as James throws stones into the sea. Lydia: Maybe if we're lucky, we'll see a destroyer or a Spitfire. Hey? You'd like that, wouldn't you? James just keeps throwing stones. Lydia: James, you've got to talk to me. You've got to talk to Mummy, because if you don't tell me what you're thinking, how can I help you? I'm so sorry. God, I have tried so hard. And it's all gone wrong, hasn't it? But I'm gonna make it better for you. That's all that matters. And one day, you'll understand. James? Huh? I'm doing it for you. That's all you need to know. De Perez house. Frank stands before De Perez in a vast lounge full of paintings. De Perez has a briefcase in front of him. De Perez: You have located the building? Frank: Yeah. What do they do there? De Perez: Nothing of great consequence, my friend. You are concerned? Frank: This stuff we're doing for you... De Perez: It is, I am sure, preferable to many years with hard labour. Frank: We don't wanna do it any more. De Perez: Hmm, it is a little too late for that now. I have told you, Frank, I am a pacifist. I wish harm to no one. What I am doing only is to show that the wr is wrong. Frank: Yeah, but it's not you doing it. It's Terry and me. De Perez: And you are being well paid for it. This time I will pay you double. It is only because I am pleased with the work you have done. He holds out some money, and after a moment Frank takes it. Frank: Another fre? De Perez: No. This time I have something more dramatic in mind. He opens the case. De Perez: It is very safe and simple to use. He attaches a wire to the mechanism of a bmb. Research centre. Townsend and Hans stand in front of a blackboard. Townsend: Now on the face of it, the test was a complete fiasco. The wooden cladding shattered on impact. Evelyn walks up with a file. Hans: As we predicted. Townsend: Yes, well, we don't gain any points for nay-saying, Hans. Evelyn: But the steel core held. Townsend: Yes! Hans: Were they using our figures? Evelyn: The back spin was 500 revs per minute. The package was dropped from 60 feet at 240 miles per hour. Hans: But then it works. Townsend: It works. Tizard has persuaded the RAF to move ahead with a full-scale operational version. Hans: That's wonderful! Townsend: Yes, but we're going to have to go over everything again. I mean, the pilots are going to have to go in so low that it's almost suicidal anyway. Plus the fact that they'll have almost 6,000 pounds of high explsive spinning in the middle of their fuselage. Now, let's make sure that they don't blow up before they arrive. Foyle house. Guest bedroom. James sits on the bed reading a comic. Lydia brings in a tray of food. Lydia: I brought you some lunch, darling. It's a Spam sandwich and a glass of milk. She sets it down on the nightstand. There's no response from James. She sits down on the bed. Lydia: I have to go away for a little while. She kisses him on the forehead. Lydia: You're to wait here for your Uncle Christopher to come home. She leaves. There's still no response from James. Street. Lydia hurries along, carrying an envelope. She drops into a postbox and then turns to walk back. Richards house. Michael Richards is teaching a small group of schoolboys from a blackboard set up in the front room. Michael: We know AB and CD are parallel. So, what can anyone tell me about this angle here at AEF? One of the boys, Nicholas, raises a hand. Michael: Yes, Nicholas? Nicholas: It's the same as EFD? Michael: Spot on. He steps back and looks at drawing one of the boys is snickering over. Michael: Is that meant to be me? Not very flattering, is it? Come on, concentrate. Yes, so if EFD is 45 degrees and we know that the total has to add up to a 180 degrees, therefore, this angle here is... Nicholas raises his hand again. Michael: Yes, Nicholas? Nicholas: 45 degrees. Michael: 45 degrees, well done, well done. Later. Michael opens the front door to find Milner on the doorstep. Milner: Mr Richards? Michael: Yes. The boys start filing out past him. Boy: I want to play football. Milner: Er, I wonder if I might have a word? Nicholas: Bye, sir. Boy: Bye, sir. Michael: Er, do I know who you are? Boy: Bye! Michael: Bye-bye, see you Tuesday. Milner shows his warrant card as he enters. Milner: I was there last night. Michael closes the door behind him. Milner spots the blackboard. Milner: Geometry? Not my strong suit. Michael: I used to be at St Edmund's. It's a rescue party depot now. Requisitioned in '41. Milner: Yes, I know it. Michael: St Jude's is an ambulance station. And Mill Road closed down as a short-term rest centre and never opened again. They say that truth is the first casualty of wr but it isn't, you know. Education is. Milner: You take classes here? Michael: I do what I can. I was teaching when the wr began. 20,000 teachers went into the forces. I sometimes think it won't matter who wins. Either way we'll have a whole generation who won't know a thing. You were at the game. I remember you now. Have you come to arrest me for taking part? Milner: No, that's not why I'm here. Michael: Well, how can I help you? Milner: I'm looking for two lads that were at the game. You might have noticed them. They were about eighteen. Plenty of cash. Michael: I noticed them. They were hard to miss. They were losing more than I did. Milner: Well, their first names are Frank and Terry. Do you know anything more about them? Michael: Well, I don't know their surnames. I find these dice games aren't exactly sociable. Milner: True. Do you know where I might find them? Michael: Would you like to tell me why? Milner pauses as he spots Riley and Howarth outside the window, looking in from across the street. Milner: You expecting visitors? Michael: No. Lessons are over for the day. The two men move away. Milner: So, Frank and Terry... Michael: Well, I don't know where they live. I, I don't know anything much about them. They were young. They have money. I'd seen them a few times. That's it. Milner: Mr Richards, can I give you some advice? Stay away from any further games. Michael: Oh, and why is that? Milner: Well, I've just seen two of Hendry's men outside. And, as you say, I can't imagine they were here to be sociable. If you owe them money, they will make you pay, one way or another. He leaves. Later. Michael takes a bottle of spirits from a drawer and drinks directly from the bottle. Foyle house. Sam and Foyle drive up and park outside and Foyle gets out. Foyle: Good night. Sam: Night, sir. Ooh. I wondered if you'd noticed that The Wizard of Oz is playing at the Palais, sir? Foyle: I can't say I have. Sam: I was just thinking... Foyle: Right. Thank you. Inside. Foyle walks through into the front room. Foyle: Lydia? James's room. Foyle enters and finds James lying on the bed reading his comic. Foyle: Where's your mother? James looks up at his voice, then goes back to his comic. After a moment Foyle turns and leaves. Melton Road, night. An old man, George Woodridge, is walking his dog past the research centre building. Woodridge: Hold on. There's the sound of a gn from inside the building. He turns to look at the door, then hurries on. Woodridge: Come on, come on. Police station. Woodbridge is talking to Brooke at the front desk. Woodridge: A single sht. I heard it clear as day. It came from the inside. Brooke: And this is on the Melton Road? Woodridge: Yeah, that place there. It used to be a supply dump or something. I think it's an office now. Brooke yawns. Brooke: And what time was this, sir? Woodridge: Oh, only half an hour ago. I came straight here. Brooke: Well, thank you, sir. I'll make a report. Woodridge: Is that all? Brooke: Well, I haven't got any men here. I shouldn't be here myself except the night officer's off sick, so... Woodridge: Well, you can't have people sh*ting each other in the middle of the night. It's not right. Brooke: No, sir. Erm, where can we find you if we need to ask any more questions? Woodridge: Oh, I have a shop on the parade. You'll see my name. Brooke: Thank you, Mr Woodridge. We'll look into it. Beach hut, night. Terry (voiceover): No, Frank. Frank (voiceover): Terry! The two of them sit inside with the suitcase bmb open between them. Terry: I said no. Frank: Why not? Terry: Cutting wires and setting fre to stuff is one thing. But this is different. This is a bmb! Frank: I know what it is. Terry: Just tell him we've had enough. Frank: Look, I can't. He'll turn us in. Terry: Then let him. He's a bloody dago, for God's sake. What we're doing, it could be treason. Frank: He's Spanish. They're not in the wr. They're nothing to do with it. Terry: No. Frank: Look, if we don't do what he says, he'll come after us. He's got friends. They'll find us. They'll kll us, Terry. Terry: It's not that. You don't believe that. You just want the money. Frank: Listen. We'll make this the last one. We'll just do this and then we'll tell him we've got to stop. Melton Road. Townsend hurries back to the building in the dark. He opens the door and heads inside. outside. Frank and Terry are coming along the road with the suitcase. They saw the door open. Terry: Get down. They hide behind the bushes and watch as Hans and Townsend carry out what looks like a body in a blanket. Terry: What is it? Frank: Shh! Frank gets up to move closer. Terry: Wait. What are they doing? Terry: Come on, Terry. We'll follow them. Foyle house. Sam drives up and stops outside. She heads up the steps, but Foyle opens the door before she gets there. Foyle: Sam. Sam: Sir. Foyle: Would you mind coming in a moment, please? Upstairs. James is sitting on his bed half-heartedly playing with a ball. Downstairs. Foyle follows Sam into the front room. Foyle: Look, erm, she's gone. Sam: Gone, sir? Foyle: Yes. Sam: Lydia? Foyle: Yes. Sam: With James? Foyle: No, he's upstairs. Sam: Well, that's rather strange. D'you think she's in trouble? Foyle: Possible. Always was a bit wayward. Fell in love with an insurance salesman, and to cut a long story short they eloped. Sam: And the parents are dad now. Did they ever forgive her? Foyle: Well, not a case of forgiveness. Erm, some reason or another, they never saw her again. Neither did I until she showed up here. Sam: Where's James's father? Foyle: North Africa, evidently, according to her. Sam: He doesn't talk very much, does he? Foyle: Well, not least because he was at the, er, the Sibford Street School. Sam: The school that was... Oh, poor little boy. Well, sir, if you want me to look after him while you're looking for Lydia, I'm more than happy to. Foyle: Thank you. Sam: Make a nice change from hanging around outside mrder. Foyle: Listen, erm, get him some, er, tea, cake, that sort of thing. He puts some money down on a side table. Sam: There's a toy shop on the parade. Foyle: Good, good. He moves to leave. Sam: Oh, I wonder if he's seen The Wizard of Oz. Police station. Milner walks into the reception area. Brooke: Sergeant Milner. Wonder if you'd like to look into this? He hands Milner a file. Brooke: sht was heard on the Melton Road. An elderly gentleman came in last night. Milner: Where's Mr Foyle? Brooke: He's, er, he's not in yet. It's the second time he's been late this week. Milner: I wouldn't have said that was any of your business, sergeant. Brooke: I was just making an observation, sergeant. Milner turns as Foyle arrives. Milner: Morning, sir. Someone heard a gn last night, I thought I'd look into it. Foyle: Do. He walks around behind the desk. Foyle: Need to get a search organised for a 28-year-old woman, name of Lydia Nicholson, or she might be using Lydia Wallace. Brooke: What's she done, sir? Foyle: Nothing apart from going missing. Er, she's from Clapton. Brooke: Ah, that's my old stamping ground. Foyle: Er, she could well have gone back there. Get a description put in the coach and the railway stations, erm, using this photograph. He hands Brooke a picture of Lydia. Brooke: She's very attractive. Foyle: Yeah. He turns to leave. Research centre. Milner is talking with Townsend while Hans watches. Townsend: A gn? What time would this have been? Milner: About nine o'clock. Townsend: Can't help you, I'm afraid. I left at six. Hans? Hans: Ten minutes after you, professor. Milner: And you are...? Hans: Oh, Hans Lindemann. He goes over to shake hands with Milner. Milner: And in case you're wondering, I'm Danish. Townsend: Hans was studying under me at Cambridge when the Germans invde Denmark. Hans: And I decided to stay. Milner: And were there just the two of you here last night? Townsend: No, I, I have a secretarial assistant. Evelyn Richards. Er, you've just missed her, I'm afraid. I sent her home. Milner: What sort of work do you do here, Professor? Townsend: Oh, we're a branch of the National Physical Laboratory at Teddington, but we report to the Admiralty in London. Can't tell you any more, I'm afraid. Our work is classified. Milner: All right. And yet you have no security, no Home Guard? Townsend: Oh, we keep a, a low profile, Mr Milner. Nobody really knows we're here, so that's all the security we need. Milner: And there was no sign of any disturbance this morning when you arrived? Townsend: No, absolutely not. Everything was as normal. Look, I, I know nothing about this gn but I, I can assure you it didn't happen here. Hans: Maybe somewhere nearby. Milner: Thank you. Er, we'll have a look. Townsend: Oh, I- can I just ask, Mr Milner, who is your superior officer? Milner: Of course. It's Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle. Townsend: Ah. Yes, I thought it might be. I know him well. Please give him my regards. Milner nods to the two of them and leaves the building. He speaks to a group of uniformed officers outside. Milner: Right, let's take a look around. Search the woods and the side of the road. Two of you have a look round the back of the building. Policeman: Yes, sir. Policeman 2: Sir. Woods. The police are searching. One of them points. Policeman: What's that? Over there! Get Sergeant Milner. They hurry over to a body partly concealed under the leaves. It's Michael Richards. Foyle house. Sam and James sit on the sofa, Sam reading aloud to him from his comic, putting on voices. Sam: I'll drop this explsive egg on htler's palace. That night over Germany... Look, Goering. I'm sick of this. Half a sausage between us? My patience is exhausted. Bring me an egg! Now where shall I put it? Ha, I'll take that fine big egg for Adolf's breakfast. Ach, what a fine big egg, at last I will have the good breakfast. She looks at James. Sam: Oh. You're not really enjoying this, are you? How about a puzzle? I've an old blackout book here. We could try that. James turns away from her. Woods. Foyle and Milner walk through the trees. Foyle: Do we know who he is? Milner: Well, he had no wallet on him, no identity card, no ration book, but as a matter of fact I do, sir. A pair of stretcher-bearers arrive to pick up the body. Milner: I spoke to him yesterday at his house. His name is Michael Richards. He was at the dice game. He lost a fair amount of money. He may well be in debt because two of Hendry's men paid him a visit while I was there. They saw me and walked off. Looks like I might have to go after Hendry after all. There's a Professor Townsend here at the Research Centre. Says he knows you. Foyle: Townsend. Mmm, that's right. Milner: He also said that he has a secretarial assistant called Richards. Foyle: Did he? Well, if he was sht because he owed money, why here, do you think? He nods to the stretcher-bearers and they bend down take the body away. Foyle: Okay. Dressed up for something. Milner: He's a lot smarter than the last time I saw him. Research centre. Foyle and Milner are there with Townshend and Hans. Townshend: Foyle, I, I can't believe we're meeting under such circumstances. Foyle: That's right. Townshend: Michael Richards. This man with the dog, he, he must have been mistaken. I mean, Mr Richards may have been klled nearby but it certainly wasn't in here. Foyle: Right. And, er, who would have been first here this morning? Han: I was. I came at seven o'clock. Foyle: Oh, right. Come far? Han: Mmm. Bexhill. I have a room there. Foyle: Uh-huh. Hans: Everything was just the way you see it now. Foyle: Right. Townshend: Somebody should talk to Evelyn. She, she needs to be told. Foyle: And, er, how long has she been here? Townshend: Two years. An invaluable member of staff. Very efficient, I mean. Accurate. Discreet. Street, Hastings. Foyle and Milner are walking along together. Milner: How do you know Professor Townsend, sir? Foyle: He's a neighbour. Milner: He said he was attached to the Admiralty. Involved in something hush-hush. Foyle: Wouldn't surprise me. He, er, taught physics at Cambridge. Highly regarded, published several books. Milner: Wonder why he was lying to us. Foyle: Same reason everybody else does. Richards house. Foyle and Milner are there with Evelyn. Evelyn: I don't know where to begin. There's not much to tell. I, I went to bed early. I was so tired. I've been working very hard recently. Michael wasn't in the house when I got in. I thought I heard him come in later, but obviously I was wrong. Er, we sleep in separate rooms. I might as well be straight with you. Things haven't been very easy between us for some time. Michael resented my going to work. He lost his own job when they closed St Edmund's. Milner: He gave lessons here, didn't he? Evelyn: Yes, home-school. Foyle notices a physics book with Townsend's name on the cover on the desk. Foyle: Townsend. Is this yours? Evelyn: No, it's my husband's. I, I just type and keep files. Michael understood more about Professor Townsend's work than I ever did. It was the main reason for the tension between us. I was there, and he was here. Foyle: So would this be...? Evelyn: This is his desk. I, I, I can't see why you're asking all these questions, Mr Foyle. I know perfectly well who klled my husband. He was a compulsive gambler. He had fallen in with a bad lot and he owed them money. He used to steal from the housekeeping and from my purse. I, I know he was afraid of them. Foyle: And, erm, why would he have gone to the research centre last night? Evelyn: I've no idea. Foyle: But you didn't, erm, you didn't part on very good terms? Evelyn: No. I suppose I'll have to live with that. But he wasn't the man I married. She picks up a photo from the desk of Michael in a graduation gown. Evelyn: This was the man I married. He was young. An idealist. He loved his work and he had a career. But the wr changed all that. And the man who was klled, the man you're telling me about, in the end I hardly knew him. Foyle house. Sam lays out square of playing cards on the carpet. Sam: All right, then. Here's another one. It's called A New Deal for nzi. James is sitting on an armchair nearby, but he's not watching. Sam: And what you have to do is put four cards to form a swastika inside the frame. Now, I don't think that's possible, do you? There's the sound of the door closing. Sam looks up as Foyle walks in. Sam: Oh, hello, sir. Foyle: How's everything? Sam: All present and correct. Mmm. We haven't made much progress, I'm afraid. I don't suppose there's any news of... Foyle: No. Erm, you'd better get home. Sam stands up. Sam: Right. I thought I'd take James out for a picnic in Taybury Woods tomorrow. I baked a cake. Powdered eggs. Foyle: That's very kind. Sam: All right, then, James. I'll see you tomorrow. TTFN. Foyle: Thank you. She nods and leaves. Beach hut. Frank takes an identity card out of a wallet. Frank: Michael Richards? I remember who he is now. I knew I'd seen him before. Terry comes over and takes the card from him to look at. Terry: Who is he? Frank snatches it back. Frank: He was that geezer from the game. Kept on losing. Terry: You were the one who kept on losing. Frank: Yeah, but he couldn't afford it. That's who he is. Terry: That's who he was. Frank: Well, yeah. Look, I'd, I'd say there's money to be made out of this, Terry. Er, if we're smart. Terry: What you talking about? Frank: Well, we saw what we saw, didn't we in the woods? Terry: Yeah. Frank: Yeah, well, I reckon they'd pay us plenty to keep our mouths shut. Terry: So what about the dago? Frank: He's never here. He's in London. We'll make the money and vamoose. He'll never find us. Terry: Yeah, and what about this? He opens the suitcase with the bmb. Frank: We'll get rid of it. Terry: How? Dump it in the sea? Frank: I'm not going in no boat with it. Rough seas and all the rest. No. We'll blow it up. Terry: Where? Frank: Taybury Wood. Tomorrow. And then we'll go and see the boffin and see what he has to say. An isolated stretch of stony beach. Lydia (voiceover): God, I've tried so hard. It's all gone wrong, hasn't it? But I'm gonna make it better for you. Lydia is lying unmoving among the stones. Lydia (voiceover): That's all that matters. And one day you'll understand. Police station front desk. Sam is dealing out the cards to show Brooke the card puzzle. Brooke (offscreen): Four cards? Sam: That's right. Inside the frame to form a swastika. Brooke: Can they overlap? Sam: I don't know, Brookie. It doesn't say. Brooke: That doesn't seem doable to me. Where did this come from? Sam: The Brighter Blackout Book. Brooke: Let's have a look. Okay... He makes an attempt at arranging the cards. Brooke: No. Don't see it. Foyle walks in through the doors opposite. Sam: Neither do I. I was up all night thinking about it. Hardly got a wink of sleep. Brooke: Aren't the answers in the back? Sam: Well, they should be, but it's missing a page. Foyle walks through into the back with James. Foyle: Morning. Sam: Morning, sir. Foyle: What's going on? Sam: It's a puzzle. Brooke: Miss Stewart was just showing it to me, sir. Foyle: Solved it? Brooke: We're working on it. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Sam: Can I go, sir? Foyle: Yep, here he is. Sam: Ready? She puts an arm round James's shoulders and leads him out. Sam: Now, young man. I hope you like very slightly burnt walnut cake. Foyle: Have a good time. He turns to Brooke. Foyle: Any news? Brooke: Oh, er, nothing so far, sir. I had her description circulated at the coach and the train station. I've been onto the Home Guard. Er, we did manage to find an address for her in Clapton but there's no one there. Foyle: Keep trying. Brooke: Sir. Foyle's office. Milner opens the door and walks in. Milner: Morning, sir. Good news. Foyle: What's that? Milner: Just had a tip-off about a dice game being played at over Hythe. Don't know if it's Hendry but it's the same game. Foyle: When? Milner: Er, lunchtime. Foyle: You gonna take anybody with you this time? Milner: Er, yes, sir. Foyle: What a good idea. Milner leaves. Foyle starts reading a handwritten letter. Lydia (voiceover): Dear Uncle Christopher, everything has been so difficult for me for so long and I've often wondered how I can carry on. Please forgive me writing to you like this but I can't take James with me so I have decided to leave him with the one person I can trust, someone who has always been kind to me and who will understand what it is that I have to do. Foyle closes his eyes. Underpass. A group of kids are kicking a ball around a bridge. Boy: Goal! Boy: Oh, come on. Nicholas: Are you really a 'tec? He's walking along a pipe that runs under the bridge, talking to Milner. Milner: Yes, I am. Nicholas: Can I see your warrant card? Milner hands it to him. He peers at him. Nicholas: Hmm. He hands it back. Nicholas: How did you find me here? Milner: Your mother told me where you were. Nicholas: Oh. I thought it would be something more clever than that. Milner: Oh, sorry to disappoint you. Nicholas: Are you investigating Mr Richards? Milner: Yes, that's right. Nicholas: He was sht by gangsters. Everyone knows that. Milner: You were having a lesson with him, weren't you, when I came to see him? Nicholas: Yes. Geometry. Milner: So, how was he? Nicholas: Mr Richards? Milner: Mmm. Was he nervous? Nicholas: No. He was usually grumpy but he was all right. He had a phone call. Milner: During the lesson? Nicholas: Yes. It cheered him up. He was tickety-boo after that. Milner: Right. Nicholas: Maybe it was the Kllers. They tricked him into going to a meeting and then they done him in. Milner: You've been reading too much Sexton Blake. Nicholas: I prefer Just William. Milner: Do you play here a lot? Nicholas: Most days. We found a piece of shrapnel once. I hope the wr never ends! Boy: Come on! Come on! Nicholas: Yep! Boy: Yippee! Nicholas goes to join the ball game as Milner leaves. Police station. Foyle walks through to speak to Brooke behind the front desk. Foyle: Listen, this search. You'd better start checking the local hospitals, call the coastguard. See if they found anybody over the, um- Brooke: You don't think she... Foyle: It's worth checking. Brooke: Sir. Foyle: Thank you. Brooke picks up the phone. Back street. Townshend is walking along with Foyle. Townshend: I feel rather awkward coming to you, but I felt I should. Foyle: Why's that? Townshend: It's Michael Richards. Foyle: Yeah? Townshend: It's just that what's happened couldn't have come at a worse time as far as we're concerned. Foyle: Well, probably not a very good one for him either, I wouldn't have thought. Townshend: No, of course not. It's just that there are things happening that I can't explain to you. I'm not allowed to. But, erm, as you and I have met on several occasions, I... I thought you might understand. Foyle: Understand what? Townshend: Well, that my team and I are on the brink of something momentous. I'm not exaggerating when I say that it could change the course of the wr. Foyle: The team being? Townshend: Myself and Hans Lindemann, I mean. Foyle: Mrs Richards? Townshend: Well, she's part of it, yes. Foyle: So, er, you're saying what? Townshend: Well, a lot of awkward questions are the last thing that we need just now. Michael Richards was an alcoholic. He was a violent, unattractive man. Foyle: Unintelligent? Townshend: Yes. Foyle: Great reader of your books, evidently, according to her. Townshend: Look, I've come to tell you that his death, in the proximity of where I am working, well, it cannot be allowed to get in the way of what's happening. Foyle: Well, looks as if it already has, you know. He walks on. Shopping parade. Sam leads James to the window of Mr Woodridge's toy shop. Sam: Now, do you see anything you like, James? Shall we go inside? They walk in. Later. Woodridge: How about a model plane? I could sell you a kit for four shillings or a made-up one for eight shillings and ninepence. Sam: Actually, we were looking for something less about the wr. James is looking at some toy soldiers in a glass case while they talk. Woodridge: That's not easy these days. Erm, how about a jigsaw? Sam: Oh, that might be fun. He goes to fetch the box. Woodridge: Erm, I have a jigsaw here and it has 200 pieces. RAF Reconnaissance Planes bat off German Fighters. Sam: Well, that's still a bit wr-like. Woodridge: Well, er, what have you in mind? Sam: Have you anything soft and cuddly, like a teddy bear? Woodridge: Oh, you won't find any teddy bears here. I heard that there were some in Harrods in London at ten shillings a time, but they'll have gone long ago. Sam: Well, if you don't mind my saying so, for a toy shop you don't have many toys. Woodridge: Well, that's not my fault. All the toy factories have closed down, or switched over to wr production. You, as a mother, should know that. Sam: Oh, I'm not his mother. I just don't want anything to do with the wr. Have you any board games? Woodridge: Yes, we have board games. He brings picks up some boxes. Woodridge: Let's see. Submarine Hunt, Sky Battle and Ocean wr. All at two bob. Sam: James? He looks up at her voice, then goes back to the toy soldiers. Research centre. Townsend's driver brings him to the building. He gets out and hurries in. Inside, Frank and Terry Morgan are waiting for him. Hans and Evelyn are both nearby. Townshend: What's the matter? What's going on here? Frank: You're Mr Townsend. Townshend: I'm Professor Townsend, yes. Who are you? Frank: I'm Frank. This is my brother Terry. Townshend: What are you doing here? Frank: Well, it just so happens we were passing the other night, professor. And we saw things, didn't we, Terry? Terry: Yeah, that's right. Frank: Seems to me we could have a pretty story to tell if we went to the police. You wouldn't like that, would you? Townshend: What do you want? Frank: 50 quid. We need to leave Hastings. We're gonna need living expenses. Townshend: 50 pounds? I don't have that sort of money! Terry: Each. Townshend: This is madness. Hans: Professor, this is more important. Townshend: Say nothing, Hans. Young man, you are wasting your time. We're not going to pay you anything. Frank: I think you are. I'll tell you what, I'll give you 24 hours to think about it. Talk it over with your friends. He and Terry leave. Abandoned factory, Hythe. A group of men are around Hendry's gambling table. Man: Give it a good throw. Man: This one's going my way. Man: Go, on, give it a good throw. Man: It's gonna go my way. Hendry rolls the dice. There are some groans. Man: Yes! Hendry: Now there's a lucky throw for you. I'm paying out on three crowns. Wish you'd bet more now, don't you? Who says the odds are with the house? I'm paying out more than you lot earn in a week. There's a crash as uniformed police burst in. The crowd scatters. Milner walks in behind the rest of the police. Policeman: Shut the doors! Man: Go for it! Scarper! Man: Go on, get outta here! Policeman: No, you don't. No, you don't. As the police wrestle with the gamblers, Hendry hurries to pick up all the money. Policeman: I've got him! Policeman: Hold him over there! Come on. Milner walks up to Hendry. Milner: Nice to see you again, Mr Hendry. Police interview room. Milner stands over Hendry. Foyle watches from the background. Hendry: You're talking nonsense, Mr Milner. I mean, what do you take me for? Milner: I know what you are, Mr Hendry. Hendry: Listen to me. He owed us 35 bob. Now do I look like someone that's gonna put a bllet in someone's head for 35 bob? Milner: I saw your men outside his house. Hendry: They saw you too. They were there to put the wind up him, that's all. Milner: For 35 bob? Hendry: I can't have people welching on me. It's bad for business. Word gets around. Five bob, 35 bob. If you don't pay up, you're gonna get slapped around a bit. I mean, I got a reputation. Milner: So, you're admitting to conspiracy to cause actual bodily harm? Hendry: I'm admitting to thinking about it but thinking ain't a crime, is it? Foyle: No, but illegal gaming is. Hendry: So? Foyle: And you attcked an officer in the course of his duty, so if I offered you evens on a £500 fine and a year in jail... Hendry: A year? Foyle: What do you think? Milner: I think that's a safe bet, sir. Foyle: Yeah, I'd say so. They leave. Stony beach. Lydia still lies on the rocks. A member of the Home Guard approaches and gestures to another behind him. Home Guard: Quick! Over here! They run over to Lydia. Police station front desk. Brooke has other people trying to solve the card puzzle. Policeman 1: I know. I know. Policeman 2: No. It's not right. Brooke: No! You have to use four cards inside the square. A swastika. Policeman 2: What? Only four? Brooke: Yes. Policeman 1: Can't be done. Brooke: I know. It bat the hell out of me. The phone rings and Brooke goes to pick it up. Brooke: Hastings Constabulary, Sergeant Brooke. Yes, sir. Thank you. Yeah, I will. He hangs up. Brooke: Put those away. I've got to speak to Mr Foyle. The men collect up the cards. The Royal Hospital, Hastings. A police driver brings Foyle to the building. He gets out of the car and heads up the steps, passing a nun on her way out. Hospital ward. Lydia lies in one of the beds. Foyle stands a short distance away with the Mother Superior of the hospital. Mother Superior: When they brought her here, they thought she was going to die. The doctor says she's come through the worst of it. They said she walked into the sea with her pockets full of stones. A mortal sin. I can't imagine what drove her to it. And attempted su1c1de, I believe, is a crime. Is that why you're here? Foyle: No, I'm her godfather and she has a son. Mother Superior: That makes her sin even harder to forgive. Where is her child? Foyle: He's being looked after. Mother Superior: Come back tomorrow. She'll be able to speak to you then. Foyle: I will, thank you. He leaves. Taybury Woods. Sam walks through the trees with a picnic basket, followed by James. Sam: You know, James, a picnic in the wood might be more fun if you would actually talk to me. Let's see if we can find somewhere nice to sit. Elsewhere in the woods. Frank, carrying the suitcase bmb, walks along with Terry. Frank: Why are you so down in the dumps? Terry: We're out of our depth, Frank. We should just chuck it. Frank: What and risk someone getting hurt? Don't tell me you're scared of loud noises? Terry: I'm scared of getting into more trouble. Frank: No, we're getting out of trouble. That's what all this is about. Elsewhere. James is walking through the trees. Sam (offscreen): When I was your age, my father made me learn the name of every tree in the wood. She points at one. Sam: That's a beech. Or is it a chestnut? This over here, this one is an ash. She and James walk on down a slope. Nearby. Frank and Terry are on the same hill. Frank: Over here. He sets the suitcase down in a clear space and opens it. Sam and James walk by in the background. Frank arms the bmb and it starts ticking. Frank: Let's get out of here. They run off to take shelter behind a couple of tree stumps. Behind them, Sam and James are approaching the suitcase. Terry: There's someone coming. Frank: What? Clearing. Sam: These definitely are beeches. You can tell by the nuts, look. Tree stumps. Terry: You've got to warn them. Frank: No, it's, it's too late. Terry (shouting): Watch out, there- The suitcase explodes a short distance from Sam and James. They both tumble to the ground. Terry (offscreen): Frank! Frank: Run, Terry. The two of them run away from the scene. Behind them, James lies face-down on the ground. There's the phantom sound of bmb dropping/ Flashback to James in class photo. Woods. James rolls onto his back. The phantom bmb noises go on. The treetop spin. Flashback to other children and the teacher in the class photo, to accompaniment of phantom screams and the bell of a fre engine. James (distorted): Mrs Dukes! Foyle house. Sam sits on the sofa, her hair dishevelled. Foyle brings her over a drink. Sam: I have to say, it was the last thing I was expecting. Do you realise it's the third time I've been blown up? Frank: Can't say I was counting. Sam: Well, first of all, there was the pub and then Jerry dropped a bmb on my house. And now this! I was only going for a walk in the woods. Seems nowhere's safe these days. Foyle sits down in the armchair. Foyle: And you saw what? Sam: Two youths. They were both about eighteen, I'd say. One was tall, had dark hair and his name was Terry. I heard the other one call out to him. Foyle: The other wasn't called Frank by any chance? Sam: Do you know, I think that might have been his name. How did you know? Foyle: They're the same men who helped Milner when he got into trouble the other night. Sam: Well, that's nice of them. Rescue Milner and then try to kll me. I wish they'd get their priorities sorted out. Foyle: Gonna be all right? Sam: Absolutely. I feel tip-top. And thank you for the whiskey. Foyle: Pleasure. Where is he? Sam: He's upstairs. They both stand up. Sam: I think you'll find he's completely changed. In a way, it's a sort of a miracle. When the bmb went off, he started calling for a Mrs Dukes. Foyle: Mary Dukes was, erm, a teacher who was klled. Sam: In a way, it sort of unlocked everything. Did you find his mother? Foyle: I did. Sam: Where? Foyle: She's somewhere safe. Sam: Good. All right then, sir. I'll see you tomorrow and good luck with James. Foyle: Thank you. Sam: I mean... Jimmy. Foyle: Ah. Later. Foyle walks back through into the front room. James comes running along the hall and into the room. James: I don't like it here! Where's my mum? I wanna go home. Foyle: Well, at least we're finally talking. James: What have you done with my mum? Foyle: I haven't done anything with your mum, James. James: Jimmy! Everyone calls me Jimmy except her. Foyle: Jimmy. She's not very well, I'm afraid and we're still trying to get in touch with your father. James: I haven't got a father. He's dad! Foyle: Not according to your mother. James: She's lying. She always lies. Foyle: Right... It looks as if we're going to, er, have to spend a couple more days together at least. James: Why? I don't like you. You're a copper. Foyle: Yeah, that's right. Have you ever been to prison? Police interview room. Milner stands over Hendry. Milner: The names. Hendry: I don't know any names. They're punters. Milner: Mr Hendry, this is now a mrder investigation and I saw your men, acting under your orders, at the victim's house just hours before he was klled. Hendry: That had nothing to do with me. You can't pin that on me. They exchange looks for a moment. Then Hendry looks away. Hendry: Frank and Terry Morgan. They're fishermen. They've got one of them huts down the beach. Brothers. Look... I'm cooperating with you. Maybe you can do something for me. Milner: No dice. He leaves. Beach hut. Uniformed police are escorting Frank and Terry into a car. Fisherman 1 (offscreen): I see the two lads are in trouble again. Four coppers. Fisherman 2: Four coppers. Fisherman 1: Tell you what, they're gonna miss home. The car engine starts. Police station front desk. Brooke is doing paperwork and looks over his shoulder. When he sees that he's alone, he lifts the book in front of him the reveal the playing cards still set up. He goes back to trying to solve the puzzle. Police interview room. Foyle: How old are you? The Morgan brothers are both being questioned together. Frank: I'm eighteen. Terry: I'm sixteen. Milner is there observing as well. Foyle: Where are your parents? You on your own? Frank: Yeah. Terry: Dad's away. Convoy duty. Foyle: Mother? Terry: She died. Foyle: Well, it seems as if you've got yourselves in an awful lot of trouble. Frank: No, we haven't done nothing. Foyle: Haven't you? How do you account for the money you've been chucking about at dice games? How d'you get your hands on explsives device which nearly klled a woman and child, incidentally? What about the mrder you're involved with? Frank: What? Milner takes a wallet out of an evidence envelope. Milner: We found this in your hut on the beach. It belonged to Michael Richards. You knew him from the card game. He opens the wallet. Milner: This is his identity card. His ration book. Foyle: He was sht two nights ago. What d'you know about that? Frank points at Milner. Frank: Look, we looked out for him, for your oppo, didn't we? What, and this is what we get in return? Foyle: No, I'm very grateful, which is why we will do what we can for you, but you've got to tell us the truth. Frank: We can't tell you. Terry: Frank! Frank: Terry, just shut up! Terry: No. I've had enough of it. Frank, please. Frank is silent for a moment. Frank: I don't even know where to start. De Perez house. De Perez (voiceover): I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr Foyle. Foyle and Milner stand in the lounge with him. De Perez: Can I offer you, er, some refreshment? A small sherry, perhaps? Foyle: We won't, thank you. De Perez: Then how can I help you? Foyle: You are... De Perez: Jose Oliviera De Perez. Is your sergeant going to write it down? I will be very happy to spell it for you. Milner: No, thank you. De Perez: I am a Special Observer for the Spanish Institute of Political Studies. I am attached to the Spanish embassy, but I find it expedient to keep a house down here by the coast also. Foyle: Expedient in that it allows you to sabotage coastal installations? De Perez: That is a very grave accusation, Mr Foyle. I wonder what evidence you might have to support it. Milner: We've arrested two delinquents. Frank and Terry Morgan. According to their testimony, they broke into this house five weeks ago on the of 17th March. De Perez: Interesting. I was unaware of any break-ins. Milner: They claim you discovered them and that you effectively coerced them into undertaking several acts of sabotage on your behalf. Er, these include a fre at Hythe docks, a munitions work just outside Bexhill, the cutting of telephone wires in various locations, and most recently, a plan to blow up a research centre here in Hastings. De Perez: And this is your evidence? The word of, how did you put it, two delinquents? Milner: They can describe you and this house. De Perez: So can my cleaner. So can many other people, I am sure. Milner: So, you're denying the charges, sir? De Perez: I am neither denying them nor confirming them, Sergeant Milner. I think you perhaps failed to hear when we first spoke. I am attached to the Spanish embassy and, as such, I come under their protection. I am not required to answer any of your questions and, more to the point, this house is also theirs. I am sorry to tell you this, gentlemen, but in effect, you are on Spanish soil. Your law does not extend here. In which instance, therefore, I will wish you both a very good day, gentlemen. Foyle: Thank you for your time. De Perez: I only wish I had more of it to share with you. Foyle: I'm sure you will next time. De Perez: We will see. He holds the door for them as they leave. Research centre. Townshend: I was going to come back and see you again, Foyle. Foyle and Milner are both there, as are Evelyn and Hans. Foyle: Before or after the Morgans tried to blackmail you? Townshend: I was never very happy about our attempts to lie about what happened here but I persuaded myself that it was in the national interest. But there was no crime. Foyle: A man was klled. Townshend: It was self-defence. More than that. He was thrat to destroy our work. Foyle: Please just tell me what happened. Foyle looks at Evelyn expectantly. Evelyn: I, I was working late. There had been a test the previous evening. I can't give you any of the details but I had to type up the results. Michael wasn't happy about it. Flashback to Michael walking through the woods. He's dressed up and carrying a bunch of flowers. Evelyn (voiceover): I already told you he resented my being here, and that night he decided, now I don't know why- Michael reaches the door of the research centre. Cut back to the present. Evelyn: He'd been drinking. He came round. I was astonished to see him, but there was nothing I could do. Flashback to Michael entering the dark centre and looking around. Michael: Evelyn? Present day. Evelyn: I told him to leave and we argued. We'd argued before, often, but this was different. He became angry, then violent... Hans: He was always like that. He was a brute. Evelyn: He, he didn't try to hurt me this time. It was the machine. It was our work. Townshend: I, er, I can't tell you what it does. But, er, it's taken us months to get it right. Evelyn: He tried to destroy it. I think he was mad. I'd never seen him like it before. He picked up a spanner and that's when I did it. I knew I had no choice. Flashback to Evelyn sh*ting Michael. Flashback to Mr Woodridge outside with his dog. Woodridge: Come on. Present day. Evelyn: I sht him to protect our work. I didn't mean to kll him. I just wanted to stop him. Hans: You did the right thing. Evelyn: No. I never hated him. Despite everything, I, I never meant to hurt him. Foyle: I see. Where did you get the gn? Townshend: It's mine. I kept it here because... Well, all these instances of sabotage. Bexhill. Hythe. I thought it might be sensible to have it on hand, to protect ourselves if needs be. Foyle: And what happened afterwards? Evelyn: Er, I, I didn't know what to do. I telephoned Professor Townsend. Flashback to Townsend hurrying back to the building. Evelyn (voiceover): I thought he'd know what to do and he had to know what had happened. He said he'd come straight round. Present day. Evelyn: I, I didn't even know if he was dad. I tried to find a pulse. It was horrible and I was so scared. Foyle: And then what? Evelyn: Er, well, then I telephoned Lindemann. I couldn't stand being on my own. Townshend: Mrs Richards was very upset when I arrived. Lindemann was comforting her but she was beside herself. Foyle: And, er, so, what? Then, you decided to, erm, carry the body out into the woods and pretend somebody else had done it? Flashback to Hans and Townshend carrying the body out. Hans (voiceover): What difference did it make? Cut back to the present. Hans: He had no rights to come here and, Evelyn, Mrs Richards, she did the right thing to stop him. Townshend: It's all right, Hans. I, erm, I take full responsibility for the decision, Foyle. But I, I have to say that what was foremost in our minds was our work here. If you knew what, what, what we're doing, if I could only tell you, I'm, I'm sure you'd understand. Foyle: Are we still pretending that, erm, Mrs Richards here is just a secretary? The three researchers exchange looks. Foyle: Er, the books in your house, er, are yours, not your husband's. Flashback to the book on the desk and Evelyn picking up the photo. Foyle (voiceover): Your desk. Not his. Am I right? Present day. Evelyn: How did you know? Foyle: Well, it's just odd, erm, for him to keep a photograph of himself on his desk. Erm, more likely to be one of you, I'd have thought. Townshend: Mrs Richards is, erm... is much more than a secretary. She, erm, she has an astonishing mind. I mean this is her work. He gestures to the machine. Townshend: The Admiralty are completely blinkered. I mean, they wouldn't think of having a woman involved at this level. And so we've, we've always had to keep up with the pretence. Foyle: Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you that, erm, astonishing or not, er, still one or two questions for, erm, Mrs Richards here so, erm... Milner: I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to come with us, Mrs Richards. Hans stands up. Hans: Er, you can't do that! Townshend: Please. I thought I'd explained to you. This work that we're part of... Foyle: Will have to wait, I'm afraid. Townshend: It can't. Foyle walks out. Milner and Evelyn follow. Hans: Er, Professor... He points after them in disbelief. Townshend: It's all right, Hans. As Hans sighs, Townshend goes over to pick up the telephone. Police station. Brooke is just headed back to the front desk with two cups of tea, one of which he gives to Sam. Brooke: Here's your- oh. He spots Parkins about to come through the doors and they both move out of the way. Foyle is just coming out from the direction of his office as Parkins walks in, followed by Captain Boothroyd. Parkins: Foyle. Foyle: Well, that didn't take long. Afternoon, sir. Parkins: This is Captain Boothroyd from the Admiralty. Foyle: I see. Afternoon. Parkins: You're holding a Mrs Evelyn Richards here at this station. Is that right? Foyle: It is. Parkins: I want you to release her immediately. Foyle: Shall we, er, talk about this in my office? Sam and Brooke watch the three of them go. Foyle's office. Foyle closes the door behind them. Foyle: Released on whose authority? Boothroyd: It's all right, Assistant Commissioner. I can assure you this comes right from the top. Parkins: I've been acquainted with all the facts at the highest level. The Admiralty has also given me access to further, restricted information. Foyle: Well, that's kind of them. Parkins: It means that I do have the full picture here. Boothroyd: Mrs Richards was defending the work of her colleagues against a man who was drunk and demented. She has no case to answer. Parkins: I'm not asking you to close the book on this one, Foyle. No need for that. At the same time, I see no reason why Mrs Richards shouldn't remain at liberty, and at work, while you tie up the loose ends. Foyle: Well, just, erm, two problems with that, as far as I can see. Parkins: What are they? Foyle: Oh, well, firstly, we'd have to accept she's in fact telling the truth. Boothroyd: She's confessed to the shting. I don't see what possible explanation there could be. Foyle: Well, I can think of one or two. And we'd also have to accept that, er, police procedure, British law, British justice are irrelevant if any old uniform can turn up here and decide who can or can't be detained. Parkins: Look, I'm the one making the decisions here, Mr Foyle. You can continue your investigation, if you must, but I see no reason to keep Mrs Richards behind bars. He and Boothroyd leave. Street outside the Richards house. Evelyn is walking back home. Hans steps out from around a corner. Hans: Did they let you go? Evelyn: Yes. Hans: Then we did it. We got away with it. The two of them kiss, then head back into the house. From further up the street, Milner watches them go in. The Royal Hospital. The Mother Superior meets Foyle and James in the hallway. James is carrying a suitcase. Mother Superior: So, this is young James, is it? James: Jimmy. Mother Superior: We can look after him for a few days. Foyle: That's a relief. You will find him a little, erm, lively? Mother Superior: Affliction is good for the soul. Lydia wants to see you now. Foyle: Thank you. He exchanges a look with James. Foyle: See you soon. Mother Superior: This way, Jimmy. She leads him off in the opposite direction to Foyle. James: Why are you dressed like that? Mother Superior: It's my habit. James: You look stupid. Mother Superior: Not as stupid as you'll look when you're feeling the back of my hand. Hospital ward. Lydia is sitting up in bed as Foyle walks in. He comes over and takes a seat at her bedside. Lydia: I've been so unhappy. I didn't know what to do. And after what happened with James... well, I felt so useless, I just couldn't cope any more. Foyle: Should have said something. Lydia: It was too late. Foyle: You should have said something ten years ago. Lydia: I did get that letter you sent me. You were very kind. But after what happened with Robert, I couldn't go back home. My parents didn't want to see me. Foyle: They did. They'd have taken you back in an instant. They didn't want to see you go in the first place. Lydia: Are you saying it was my fault? Foyle: You never gave them a chance to accept what had happened. Lydia: Go on. Foyle: Well, erm, none of my business, all too long ago, but it did seem to me that... you wanted to be hurt. I mean, they tried to get in touch with you several times. You never replied. You never replied to me. Lydia: I was in love. Foyle: Is that an excuse? Lydia: No, but it explains it and now it's too late. You might as well know, I'm... I'm not an OWL operator. I'm not doing anything for the wr effort. I have a couple of rooms in Clapton and I... earn a living charring and taking in laundry. What d'you think my parents would say to that? The truth is that... Robert left a few months after James was born. I don't- he's not in Africa. I don't know where he is. He just shoved off and disappeared. I have a little money. What am I to do? Foyle stands up. Foyle: You should, er, stay a little longer. Lydia: The sisters have been very kind, but I'm not sure they'd let me. Foyle: No, I mean with me, both of you. For the time being. Lydia: Are you sure? Foyle: No. But somebody's got to look after you. Lydia: What about your work? Foyle: Well, I've got a feeling there's gonna be, erm, less of it from now on. I'll be back. He leaves. Hospital corridor. Townshend is standing waiting. Foyle walks over to join him. Townshend: Your desk sergeant told me I would find you here. I wondered if we could talk. Later. The two of them sit on a bench in a quiet part of the hospital. Townshend: I feel terrible about all this business. I've known you, er, I don't know how many years. And lying to the police! It's not something I would normally contemplate. But you, erm, you must understand what I've been trying to tell you. My work is classified. Now, I've spoken with Captain Boothroyd and he has sought clearance at the highest level to enable me to tell you what we've been working on. I, I feel I owe it to you. Foyle: Too kind. Townshend: Very soon, the RAF are going to bmb a series of dams in Germany's industrial heartland, the Ruhr Valley. Now, if we can knock those dams out, we will do vast damage to their wr machine. Factories, power stations, roads, bridges, farmland. We'll put them all under hundreds of millions of gallons of water. But it's going to need a... He falls silent as a nurse walks past. Townshend: It's going to take a very special bmb. Flashback to the filming of the test down on the beach. Townshend (voiceover): A bmb that bounces along the surface of the water. Film footage of the bouncing bmb. Townshend (voiceover): Now, nothing like this has ever been attempted before. The bmb has to be sent spinning before it's released and my team have helped to develop a machine that does precisely that. Hospital corridor. Townshend: And that was the machine that Michael Richards would have destroyed if Evelyn hadn't stopped him. Foyle: And that's why you, er, you protected her? Townshend: Well, she was protecting us. Foyle: And that's worth... perverting the course of justice? Townshend: I thought so. Foyle: Poor decision, Professor, because, apart from betraying our friendship, you've also made yourself an accessory to premeditated mrder. Townshend: Evelyn Richards said that she acted in self-defence. Foyle: She lied. She lied to you and to us. Townshend: Lied? Lied about what? Foyle: Well, amongst other things, erm, about what happened. Flashback to Evelyn's confession. Evelyn: Er, I, I didn't know what to do. I telephoned Professor Townsend. I thought he'd know what to do and he had to know what had happened. He said he'd come straight round. Then I telephoned Lindemann. I couldn't stand being on my own. Hospital corridor. Foyle: You live, er, less than a mile away from the research centre. Townshend: Yes. Foyle: Lindemann's rooms are eight miles away in Bexhill. Townshend: Yes, they are. Foyle: If she called you first, erm, how come he was already there when you arrived? Townshend is silent for a moment. Townshend: Well, she... she must have made a mistake. Foyle: If you say so. He gets up and walks away. Townshend sits back against the bench and sighs. Police station front desk. Milner is attempting the card puzzle while Brooke and Sam watch. Milner: Well, I don't get it. Brooke: Join the club. I even got that chap Hendry to have a go at it. Well, him being a gambler an' all. Milner: Are you sure you got it right? Sam: Absolutely. It's in the book. Foyle walks in. Foyle: Ready? Sam: Yes, sir. Milner: Yes, sir. Foyle: Still at it? Brooke: Beaten everyone, sir. Why don't you have a go? Foyle: No. It's, er, not quite my sort of thing. Sam: Oh, go on, sir. Help us out. It's very simple. Foyle: Is it? Sam: Well, at least it should be. What you have to do is make a swastika inside the frame using- Brooke: Using four cards. Sam: Four cards. Foyle comes over to look. Foyle: Mmm. Anybody got close? Brooke: Nowhere near. Milner: It's called A New Deal For the nzi. Foyle: Well, you know, sometimes it helps to erm... look behind the cards, maybe. Sam: What d'you mean, sir? Foyle: Well, I was just thinking about... shapes, you know, but, no, frankly I don't see it. Sam: Well, if it's foxed you, what hope is there for the rest of us? Foyle: Well, that's enough from you. Come on, this is getting us nowhere. We're gonna to be late. Milner. Milner: Yes, sir. He looks at Brooke. Milner: Good luck. Brooke: (Yeah.) Milner leaves. Brooke: Behind the cards. He picks up one of the cards and looks at the other side. Later. Brooke is still struggling with the puzzle. He sighs and puts a card down. Then something clicks. Brooke: Oh! He laughs. Brooke: There it is! He arranges the four cards so that the blank space inside the square forms the swastika shape. Brooke: I've got it. I've got it. I've done it! Regency Hotel. Sam and Foyle pull up in front of the building in the car. Foyle: Right, this won't take long. Back soon. He gets out of the car and walks into the building. Foyle's office. Brooke walks in with an envelope and sets it on his desk. Then he spots something. Brooke: Crafty old fox. He turns to leave. On the desk, Foyle has the solution to the card trick set out. Regency Hotel lobby. Foyle waits at the foot of the staircase as Parkins makes his way down. Parkins: Morning. I've finished my investigation of the south coast. I have to get back to London. Foyle: Well, absolutely no intention of keeping you. Hotel dining room. Parkins and Foyle sit alone at a table, the others in the room covered and not in use. Foyle: Well, I'm primarily here to find out about the De Perez situation. Parkins: I'm afraid I can't help you. He's attached to the embassy, as he told you, and, as such, he's beyond our reach. Spain declared their neutrality back in September '39. However, many of their diplomats, the consular service, the police and the coastguard work for the Germans. I got this from a friend in Whitehall. He suggested we pass on what we know about De Perez to the security services. Foyle: And what will they do? Parkins: I doubt they'll do anything. They know who he is and what he is. Doubtless they have their own reasons for keeping him at large. Foyle: And so he goes free. Well, that's marvellous. They all go free. Parkins: Who do you mean? Foyle: Well, him, Evelyn Richards. Lindemann. Parkins: Lindemann? Foyle: Lindemann. Parkins: You're not saying he was involved, are you? Foyle: I am. Parkins: What on earth are you suggesting? Foyle: On the day he dies, how does Michael Richards, sir, in such an extremely good mood as a result of taking a phone call, come to be so very angry and violent so very shortly afterwards? If he goes to the research centre with the intention of doing as much damage as possible, why does he need his best suit and a bunch of flowers to do it? How does a woman with no experience of firearms manage to sh*t her drunk, violent husband so very precisely between the eyes in such a very premeditated fashion? I'm suggesting that she made the call to her husband, inviting him to the centre with the prospect of a- an improvement in their relationship where he was sht by Lindemann. Parkins: And why would they do this? Foyle: Because they're having an affair. For which we do have proof. Parkins: It's not enough. Foyle: Right. Well, it certainly is for me. He stands up. Parkins: Foyle. Foyle: No, with this sort of thing, erm, virtually condoned for the sake of the wr effort, a man guilty of, er, coercion and sabotage can't be touched, while two boys, guilty of nothing more than slipping off the rails because of a lack of parental control will get several years with hard labour. Assistant Commissioners doing their very best to undermine me in front of my staff, yep, I'd say I'd had enough. Parkins: Look. I, I, I know you and I got off to a bad start, Foyle. It was my fault and I apologise for it. But it's not too late. We can have another look at Mrs Richards and I'll tell you what. He looks at some paperwork in front of him. Parkins: You know a young woman. Lydia Nicholson. Foyle: Mmm. Parkins: I have here a report concerning an attempted su1c1de. A recommendation to prosecute. He tears it in half. Parkins: You see? Justice can sometimes be manipulated to help the individual. Foyle: Well. Your justice, perhaps. Not mine. He takes an envelope out of his pocket and tosses it on the table in front of Parkins, then goes to leave. Parkins: Look, you can't do this. Foyle leaves the room. Parkins: Damn it. He picks up the envelope and opens it. Foyle (voiceover): Assistant Commissioner Parkins. I've suggested to you that maintaining the law in a time of wr is all but impossible. Seafront. Foyle walks out to join Sam and Milner. Foyle (voiceover): I have now reached the conclusion that I am no longer up to the task and it would seem, therefore, that there can be no useful purpose in me remaining in my position. Foyle reaches the other two. He speaks with them, the words unheard. Later. The three of them walk back together. Foyle (voiceover): I am, therefore, offering you my resignation, effective as of now. I remain, sir, your obedient servant, Christopher Foyle.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "05x02 - Casualties Of w*r"}	foreverdreaming
St Jude's church. Henry Scott sits alone in the empty pews, holding a rosary as he whispers the Hail Mary prayer to himself. Later. Henry is in the confessional with Father Martin Keppler. Henry: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. Keppler: How long since your last confession? Henry: Two weeks. Keppler: Tell me your sins. Henry: I... have broken the Sixth Commandment. Keppler: Thou shalt not kll? Henry: I have klled. I have committed mrder. A Pathe Gazette news film titled Great US Air asault, showing footage of aeroplanes. Newsreader: It's certainly chocks away- Henry sits in the cinema, wringing his hands as he watches the film. Newsreader: As American bmb leave Britain on one of their longest missions yet. More than 1,500 aircraft have been waiting for the weather to turn. It did, and off they went. Their targets, aircraft factories at in Marienberg in East Prussia and Posen in Poland. Henry watches the footage of bmb falling. Newsreader: A round trip of 1,600 miles. With German losses mounting, the message is clear - unconditional surrender. And there's just one question. How much more can htler take? A motorbike carrying a pair of document tubes speeds along a country road through trees. CAPTION: APRIL 1944 Beverley Lodge. WAAF Jane Hudson hurries down the staircase, rushing past several other people. Jane: Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry. Guard post. The dispatch rider pulls up on his motorbike. Guard: Hello, there. Can I see your papers? Photo-processing room. Jane dashes into the room. Jane: Adam. Where is it? Adam Everitt is working at a drawing board. Adam: Keep your hair on, old girl. We've got plenty of time. Jane: The wing commander asked for it half an hour ago. bmb Command are already here! Adam: Well, they can wait. Jane: Adam! Across the room, Henry Scott, now in a RAF uniform heads over to the door. He looks over as Jane snatches a document from Adam. Adam: There it is. Jane: Where's Henry? Behind them, Henry leaves the room. Adam: Who can say? He watches Jane leave. Adam: Anyone would think there was a wr on. Outside. The dispatch rider pulls up in front of the building. Henry watches from a ground-floor window as the rider heads inside with his document tubes. Inside. A man holds the door for the rider behind him. Dispatch Rider: Ta. Wing Commander Stephen Forster's office. Forster is on the phone. Forster: I'm sorry, sir, but you'll just have to bear with us a moment longer. There's a knock on the door and he turns. Forster: Come. Jane hurries in with an envelope marked Top Secret. Forster: Is that it? Jane: Yes, sir. He speaks into the phone. Forster: We've got it. It's on its way now. Right. He hangs up. Forster: Well, where was it? Jane: Everitt had it, sir. Forster: Everitt! Not again! Well, don't just stand there, take it to the dispatch rider. Jane: Yes, sir. She walks out through the building. As she reaches the doors where the dispatch rider is waiting, Henry hurries up to her. Henry: Jane... Jane: Just a moment. She gives the envelope to the rider. Jane: Here it is. Dispatch Rider: Thank you. Henry turns away and walks off. Jane looks after him. Jane: Henry? Victoria Hammond's boarding house, night. Hammond (voiceover): Mr Scott, you've left your supper. Inside. Landlady Victoria Hammond heads up the staircase. Hammond: Mr Scott? She sighs and goes up to knock on his bedroom door. Hammond: Mr Scott? Inside. A glass of water sits on the nightstand with a number of pills tipped out in front of it. Hammond (offscreen): Mr Scott? Mr Scott? Henry? Henry? Henry lies on the bed, still in his uniform. Flashback to the falling bmb in the news footage. Bedroom. Though he lies unmoving, it's visible that Henry is still breathing. OPENING CREDITS Police station. DCS John Meredith walks into the station, where Sergeant Brooke is on duty at the front desk. Brooke (offscreen): Morning, sir. Meredith: Morning, sergeant. Is Milner in yet? Brooke: Yeah. He got here an hour ago, sir. He's in the interrogation room. You know he got Burton? Meredith: Burton? Brooke: Bill Burton. The lorries man. Meredith: Oh, yeah. Very good. Er, tell Milner I want to have a word. Brooke: Yes, sir. Meredith's office, the room that used to be Foyle's. Meredith stands looking a photo on the mantelpiece of two young men in uniform. Then he goes over to sit down at his desk, where there's another photo of them with his wife. He looks at it a moment, then takes a document from the in-tray. Front desk. Brooke turns as Milner comes through from the back. Brooke: Milner, the DCS would, er, like a word. Milner: Thank you. Brooke: Another of his balls-ups he wants you to sort out. Milner: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. He heads back the other way. Brooke turns to another uniformed officer beside him. Brooke: It was never like this a year ago. Never thought I'd hear myself say it - in the good old days. Milner walks in to Meredith's office. Meredith: Brooke tells me you've made an arrest. Milner: Yes, sir. Bill Burton. We're holding him now. He has a haulage operation. I've been working with the Special Investigations branch of the army. Falsified transport accounts. Meredith: Someone was paying him? Milner: About £1,200 in the last year. For lorry trips that were never made. Meredith: Which barracks? Milner: Brighton, Eastbourne. That was only last year, so this could go back a lot further. Meredith: Well, he must have had people on the inside. Milner: That's what I'm trying to find out. Meredith: Yes. Well, you'd better get on with it, then. Milner: Yes, sir. Foyle house. There's the sound of a typewriter. Foyle sits at the table, dictating slowly. Foyle: And the amalgamation... was the cause of a lot of local... prickliness. Am I going too fast for you? Sam is the one doing the typing. Sam: No, sir. It's, it's, um, it's not me, it's the typewriter. Foyle: Oh. Sam: It keeps jamming. Foyle: Ah. Doesn't when I use it. I mean, if you can do shorthand, why aren't we using your shorthand? Sam: Well, I can write it. I, I can't read it. Foyle: Right. Sam: Is there a Y in "prickliness"? Foyle: Um... two Is, I think. Mmm. Sam: Is this going to be a very long book? Foyle: Well, it looks like it. Are you trying to tell me something? Sam: No, sir. Foyle: Are we wasting our time, is that what you're saying? Sam: No, I'm sure lots of people will be interested in the subject. You might think of a better title, though. "The History of the Hastings Constabulary in the Wartime Years". Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it? Foyle: Well, it's not intended for the public at large. Sam: Well, who is it for? Foyle: Well, there's gonna be a lot of stories about the wr, and, erm, the police along the south coast are as much a part of that story as any others. Sam: Absolutely. I agree. Maybe I'll get a mention. Foyle: Mmm. Sam: D'you miss police work, sir? Foyle: Nope. Sam: Nor do I. She sighs. Sam: Right. Once more into the fray. Foyle: Hastings in 1942... Police interview room. Milner and Brooke are there with Bill Burton. Burton: You're making a mistake. Milner: I don't think so. These bills are forgeries. The registration numbers listed here don't exist. Burton: You don't understand, Sergeant Milner, I'm saying you're making a mistake. Milner: Then why don't you help me out, Mr Burton? Burton: I don't think you know who I am. I have friends. A great many of them. They're not gonna take kindly to all this. They might come calling. Milner: Are you thrat me? Burton: Look, I'm in here. Nothing I can do. But I'd, er, I'd watch my step if I was you, that's all. Milner: You witnessed all that, sergeant? Brooke: I did, Mr Milner. Milner: Then you can add obstruction and thrat a police officer to the charge sheet. Let's see what your friends think about that. He leaves. Photo-processing room, Beverley Lodge. Henry is comparing an aerial photo to a map held by Richard Waterlow. Henry: There's a bridge over the river just here. Waterlow: According to the old maps, the river didn't even run this way. Henry: The library will have weather charts going back over the last five years. Heavy rain. It may have burst its banks. And I think we should have another look at this here. Waterlow: Er, looks like a barn. Henry: Well, if you looked at it under the stereoscope, you'd see that it was too high. There's some sort of installation on the roof, possibly an aerial mast. Waterlow: Any local intelligence? Henry: Waterlow! Where did you say you came from again? Waterlow: The wr Agricultural Executive Committee. Henry: They sent you here? Waterlow: I applied. I wanted to make maps. Jane (offscreen): Henry? They both look up. She's standing just inside the door. Jane: Could I have a word? He gets up to go with her. Waterlow sits down in Henry's chair and looks at the photos through the stereoscope. Reception area. The receptionist is just handing a stack of boxes to a man as Jane and Henry come through. Receptionist: And that's the lot. Man: Thank you. He leaves. Jane draws Henry aside. Jane: I heard you were... ill? Henry: I was. I'm back. Jane: I was worried about you. Henry: Were you? You didn't visit me. Jane: I didn't think you'd want to see me. Henry: Right. Jane: Henry... She falls silent as a woman walks past. Jane: Can't we go back to the way things were? Henry: That's not possible, is it? You see, if you drop a glass, it breaks. You can try and glue it back together, but it will still have cracks. Jane: I made a mistake. I know that, but what about forgiveness? I thought that was important to us. Henry: I have forgiven you, Jane. Doesn't make me want to see you. He leaves. Adam (offscreen): Oh, dear. He come down the staircase behind her. Jane: What are you doing here? Adam: A summons from the Wing Co. What was all that about? Jane: It's none of your business. She goes to walk away and he chases after her. Adam: But you're going to tell me, anyway. Jane: No, I'm not. Adam: Are you doing anything tonight? Jane: Going to church. Choir practice. Adam: Oh, of course. Yeah, it's a Tuesday. Jane: What do you want, Adam? Adam: You know what I want, Jane. The trouble is, you want it, too. He leaves. Forster's office. Forster: bmb Command at Laverton aren't happy. Adam: When were they ever? Forster: The raid over Marienberg. There were errors on the map. Adam: There are always errors. We can't help that. Anyway, what does it matter? The raid was a success. Forster shows him a map. Forster: This cross-hatching here. That's not woods. There was a railway terminal and two gn emplacements here. It's as plain as a pikestaff. Adam: I'm very sorry, sir, it won't happen again. Forster: It's already happened too often. Your work is slapdash. People are asking why you're still here. Adam: Are they? We'd neither of us want that, would we? Forster: Do you understand what's going on out there? This stage of the wr? Victory depends on getting it right. It's critical and you just... maybe I should just move you to the printing section. Adam laughs. Adam: Not for me, thanks all the same. I'll try harder. He gets up to leave. Forster: Everitt! I'm still in charge of this unit. I'm your commanding officer. Adam: Sir. He salutes and leaves. St Jude's church. The choir are singing Mozart's Ave Verum Corpus to the accompaniment of the organ. ♪ Esto nobis praegustatum ♪ Jane, Henry and Waterlow are all part of the choir. ♪ In mortis examine ♪ ♪ In mor-or-or-or-or-or-ortis examine ♪ Father Martin Keppler conducts them through the final notes. Keppler: Thank you. I need to hear that last phrase again, please. Particularly sopranos in, in bar 40. I need to hear the C Sharp. So, can we go again from bar 37? Thank you. The organist plays a note and the choir sings again: ♪ In mor-or-or-or-or-or-ortis examine ♪ Keppler: Thank you. That was very good. Much better. Thank you for your hard work. I will see you all again on Sunday. Woman: Thank you. Woman: God bless. Man: Well, at least Henry's in. The choir starts to disperse. Waterlow: Jane! Are you going back? Jane: Um, not just yet, no. Waterlow: Well, I'll wait and walk back with you, if you like. Jane: No, no. Thank you, that's very kind, but, um, I'm waiting for Henry. Henry is sitting waiting and gets up as Keppler approaches. Henry: Father, can I talk to you? Keppler: Of course, Henry, of course. Let us sit. They sit down. Keppler: How are you? You are- you're fully recovered? Henry: Yes. Keppler: I hope you've not had any further temptation? Henry: No. It was stupid. Keppler: No, it was- it was much more than that. But we will not speak of it again. And, er, and your work, are you feeling happy? Henry: How can I feel happy? With my pens and paint brushes, I'm klling people I don't even know. Keppler: Henry, Henry, you must not see it like that. Henry: I don't know how you can want me to stay there. You of all people. Keppler: Why? Because I'm a priest? Or because I am German? Henry: Both. Keppler: I want this wr to be over. I, I want to go home. But that can never happen until htler is finished. No. You are using your skills to help bring that day closer. Henry: They are bmb towns. And villages. They're not going to stop. Unconditional surrender. Keppler: I know. It is not easy, but, but we must try to see the greater good. The light at the end of the tunnel. Henry: It's a very long tunnel. Keppler: Things are, are stepping up? Henry: More and more raids. Keppler: Germany? East Prussia? Henry is silent for a moment. Henry: I'm not meant to tell you. Keppler: And I'm not meant to ask. But, you know, I can't help it. For you, it's just a, a diagram on a piece of paper. For me, it's, it's home. Henry: They want to have a crack at htler himself. They think they can ht Berchtesgaden. Keppler: Well, that would be wonderful! That, that would finish the wr. Henry: Yeah, but it is still mrder. Keppler sighs. Keppler: You should come to this conference at Cranville. Bishop Francis Wood will be there. He will be speaking. He, too, like you, believes in moral absolutes, even in wr. I will see you on Sunday, hmm? Try to be at peace. Henry: I always feel better, talking to you. Outside. Jane is waiting as Henry comes out. Jane: Will you walk me home? Henry: Why are you doing this? Jane: We work together. We come here together. We can't pretend we don't know each other. Waterford comes out of the church behind them. He veers to the side to avoid interrupting them. Henry: Well, I thought I knew you. But I know Adam Everitt very well. In fact, I know more about him than you do. Jane: What are you talking about? Henry: Why don't you ask him about his Uncle Bill and the nice little arrangement that he's got? And I may just start talking about what I know. You can tell him that, too. The Plume of Feathers pub, night. Milner and Foyle are having beers together at one of the tables. Milner: Things have been going downhill since you left, if you want the truth, sir. We had a bad year last year. Lost a lot of men to the forces. Three cases still unsolved. You've heard they're closing the station down? Foyle: I have. Milner: Morale's at rock bottom. No, maybe it's just the wr. I know things are going well in Russia, but there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. And then there's DCS Meredith. Foyle: Ah. Is there? Milner: I don't understand him, sir. Foyle: Why might that be? Milner: Well, you know I'd never speak badly of a superior officer, and I, I do respect him. But he's perhaps the reason I'm thinking of leaving. And I just wondered if there was anything that you could tell me about him that might help? Foyle: Well, I don't know him. I do know that he was at Reigate for quite a while, that he's well spoken of, gets results, but, er, apart from that, I can't really say. Milner: Then you think I should stay? Meredith house. Meredith and his wife Joyce are at the dinner table. They're silent as Meredith finishes his meal. Meredith: So, what did you do today? Joyce: I was in the garden. Meredith: I see the tulips are out. Joyce: Yes. Meredith: Earlier, this year. Joyce: Not especially. Meredith: Well, they're beautiful. Joyce: Yes. Meredith: Are you sure you won't have a drink? Joyce: Not for me, thank you. Meredith: We arrested a man today. A chap called Burton. Some scheme with lorries. He's taken £1,200 off the government. Joyce: I'm sorry, I'm not interested, John. Actually, er, I have a slight headache. Would you mind if I go up? Meredith: No, you go ahead. I'll clear up. She leaves and he pours himself another drink. Plume of Feathers. Foyle and Milner are just leaving the building. Milner: How's Sam, sir? Foyle: Oh, she's fine. Erm, her typing's not what it should be, but, er, she's the same as ever. Milner: And how's the book? Foyle: Slow. Milner: Am I in it? Foyle: Oh, she asked that. Might get a mention in the final chapter. Good night. He walks away. Milner: Good night, sir. Thank you. Foyle: A pleasure. Milner walks off in a different direction to Foyle. A car engine starts up behind him and it drives towards him. He turns at the sound and has to dive out of the way to avoid being ht. Foyle house. Sam stands in the front room with Foyle. Sam: I know it's a bit of a cheek, but, er, d'you remember my Uncle Aubrey? Foyle: Yeah, the vicar. Sam: Well, all my uncles are vicars, but that's right. He's coming to Hastings later today and he has a special dispensation to come here. He's coming for the church conference. Anyway, he sent me a telegram saying his hotel has let him down. As you know, all the hotels in Hastings are jammed at the moment, what with all the troop movements, and I can't find anywhere to put him up. Foyle: Oh, I see. Sam: It would only be for a couple of nights and he did let us stay with him, so... Foyle: No, fine. I'll be happy to. Sam: Thank you. His bus gets in at ten to three. Foyle: Does it? Sam: And I don't get off work till six so... Foyle: Don't you? She smiles hopefully. Foyle: It's all right, I'll stroll down. She sighs in relief. Sam: Thank you very, very much, sir. Foyle: Not at all. She walks out into the hall. Sam: Oh, how's the book going? Foyle: It's much as you left it. Just looked over the chapter on horse racing and illegal rambling. Sam: Don't you mean gambling? Foyle: I do. Not quite what you typed. Sam: Ah. Better be on my way. Thanks again. Meredith's office. Milner sits in front of his desk. Milner: I don't think they were trying to kll me, sir. Just making a point. Meredith: You think they were working for Burton? Milner: Yes, sir. He's scared. I think I'll let him sit tight a while. I'm sure he'll give me what I need. Meredith: Then you should come along with me to Cranville College. I've had a message from London. Have you heard of Francis Wood, Bishop of Cirencester? We've got a whole clutch of them down here. Some sort of ecumenical conference. It's hard to know why they're having it here when the coast's off limits. Milner: It is ten miles inland, sir. Meredith: Oh. Just when it looks as if we're going to bmb the Jerries out of existence, Bishop Wood wants us all to forgive and forget. Milner: You think he'll bring trouble? Meredith: I think he is trouble. Milner nods. Beverley Lodge. Jane is coming out of the building. Adam (offscreen): That's not a reason to leave. He chuckles. He's standing smoking and talking to a woman by a parked lorry. Jane hurries over. Jane: I want to talk to you. Adam: (Uh-oh.) Well, that makes a change. Woman: Bye, then. Adam: See you. Jane: There's something you're not telling me. Adam: There's all sorts of things I'm not telling you, Jane. For example, how crazy I am about you. Jane: Stop it. Adam: No, I mean it. Who'd have thought I'd have found love in a godforsaken dump like this, but I'm quite serious. I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Jane: You talk a lot of tommyrot. Adam: Well, what about the weekend, then? What do you say? Why don't we just slip away? Just the two of us. Like last time. He starts heading back towards the building. Jane: Who is your Uncle Bill? Adam: What are you talking about? Jane: Who is he? Adam: Who gave you that name? Was this Henry? What's he been saying about me? Tell me. I want to know. Street outside the Plume of Feathers. A bus is approaching, and Foyle walks across the street to meet it as it comes to a halt in front of the pub. Passengers start getting off. Woman: Cheerio. Nice to see you. Aubrey Stewart appears in the doorway. Aubrey: Ah, my dear Mr Foyle. How very good to see you. Foyle: And you. Aubrey: I take it Samantha spoke to you? Foyle: She did. Aubrey: And I can stay? Foyle: You can. It'll be a pleasure. Shall I take that? He takes one of Aubrey's suitcases. Aubrey: Thank you. Foyle: Good trip? Aubrey: Oh, stop and start. Never seen so many troops on the move. It really feels like the big push and all that. How are you? I hear you're, er, no longer with the police. Foyle: Well, that's right. Aubrey: Hmm. Well, you must tell all. Perhaps over a cup of tea. I'm absolutely parched. Photo-processing room, Beverley Lodge. Henry is examining a pair of photos under a stereoscope. Waterlow is at work at a nearby desk. Henry: I don't understand. This can't be right. Waterlow: Can I help? Henry: Go to the library and get me anything you can on this area here. He shows Waterlow a map. Waterlow: North of Stuttgart. Henry: North and northwest. This map was made in '31. It can't be right. Get me any up-to-date information. I need to know if there have been any raids that might have changed the landscape. Adam Everitt approaches as Waterlow as leaving. Adam: I want a word. Henry: Not now. Adam: Yes, now, Henry, damn you. Henry is still focused on the photographs. Henry: No, no, no. Adam: I said I want to talk to you. Henry: Oh, go to hell, Everitt! He snatches up one of the pair of photos and leaves with it. Reception area. Jane is just coming down the stairs as Henry comes through, putting his coat on. Jane: Henry? What is it? What's the matter? Henry: It's not there. Jane: What isn't there? Where are you going? Henry: The church! He leaves. Foyle house. Aubrey and Foyle are drinking tea at the table. Aubrey: It's this question of total and unconditional surrender. Everyone knows the Germans have lost the wr. It's just a question of how many more innocent people have to die before they accept it. Take the bmb of Hamburg, for example. Hundreds klled. Do we condone it? Can we condone it? "Thou shalt not kll." The Bible makes it pretty clear. He takes a sip of his tea. Aubrey: Do you have any sugar? Foyle snorts. Foyle: Afraid not. Aubrey: And, of course, if you're sticking to moral absolutes, you come to "love your enemy". And that's where we are now. Except we're not loving them. We're bmb the hell out of them. Foyle: And where do you stand? Aubrey: I'm behind Francis Wood, Bishop of Cirencester. He'll be at Cranville. And what he's preaching is reconciliation and forgiveness. A negotiated peace. Foyle: Is this the right time? Aubrey: He won't worry about that. You know he tried to set up a Famine Relief Committee for children across Europe? Can you imagine? It would have meant breaking our own blockade. Course, it didn't get very far. Anyway, look, you don't want to talk about all this. How are you? How's Sam? Foyle: Well, she's fine. You'll see her later. Aubrey: By the way, I've got something for you. I brought it up from the country. He picks up one of his cases and opens it. Aubrey: A bottle of my home-made wine. He presents the bottle to Foyle, who takes a moment to find the right words. Foyle: Very kind of you. Thank you. Cranville college. The college bells rings. A police driver brings Meredith and Milner to the main door and they get out. Later. The two of them are walking along with Bishop Francis Wood. Wood: Well, it's very reassuring to have a police presence, Detective Chief Superintendent. But I think, er, hardly necessary. Meredith: Yes, well, I think we'll be the best judge of that. Wood: Yes, of course. Meredith: When you spoke in London, you caused a riot. Wood: No. Not at all. A few dissenting voices. Milner: Are you planning on speaking in public while you're here, sir? Wood: This is a church conference, but any members of the public will be welcome. Meredith: I hardly need tell you that sedition is still an offence. Wood: Sedition? Meredith: "The night bmb of German cities, a degradation of the spirit for all who take part in it, thrat the roots of civilisation..." Wood: You heard my address. Meredith: I read it. Let me tell you this, Bishop Wood, you say those things down here, and I'll throw the book at you. Come on, Milner. He walks off and Milner follows. Victoria Hammond's boarding house. Henry sits on the stairs clutching his head. Hammond (offscreen): Mr Scott? What are you doing at home at this time of the day? She's standing at the foot of the stairs. Hammond: Is something the matter? Henry: I'm just trying to think. Hammond: Are you all right? Henry: No. Hammond: Would you like me to call the doctor? Henry: No, I don't need the doctor. He suddenly gets up and heads for the door. Hammond: Where are you going? Henry: Out. Phone box. Henry stands talking on the phone. Henry: Yes. Yes. Look, I need to talk to you. No, it is urgent. No, I know. Yeah, I, I know. No, it can't wait. Beverley Lodge. Wing Commander Forster is walking back towards his office. He sees Waterlow just closing the office door behind him. Forster: Waterlow? What were you doing in my office? Waterlow: I was looking for you, sir. Forster: Why? Waterlow: I'm worried about Scott. He's gone. Forster: Gone? Gone where? Waterlow: I don't know. He asked me to get a reference on the area round Stuttgart, and when I got back, he wasn't at his desk. I've spoken to the sentries. They say he's left the building. And I think he may have taken a photograph with him. There were two photographs under the stereoscope. I saw them just now. One of them's gone. I didn't see the name. Forster: Do you think Scott took it? That's against all regulations. We must find him. Waterlow: He's billeted in Birchwood Lane. He told me that. Would you like me to go round? Forster: Er, no. No. Thank you, Waterlow. This is my responsibility. I'll deal with it. Waterlow: Sir. Garton Wood. Two women are walking through the trees together. Woman: I'm hoping John's gonna go. Woman 2: Oh, okay. Well, hopefully my Billy comes back at the weekend. Woman: Ah! Woman 2: So we can go too. A short distance away, Henry Scott's body is hanging from a tree. Woman: Oh, God! Meredith's office. Meredith: What news on Burton? Milner brings him a sheet of paper. Milner: This is a list of contracts he's had over the past four years that I think we need to investigate. Meredith: Army, Air Force, RASC, NFS. It's endless. Are you saying he was defrauding the whole lot of them? Milner: He'd have had to have had people inside on every one of these, sir. It's the only way it would've worked. I'm still trying to get a list of names off him. There's a knock at the door and Brooke enters. Brooke: Sorry to break in on you, sir, but we've had a report. A man found hanged in Garton Wood. A couple of land girls came across him swinging in the breeze. Meredith: Yes, well, I don't see why you need to bother us with it, sergeant. There are plenty of miserable people out there. We've got better things to do than to go out mopping up after them. You deal with it. Brooke: Oh, I wouldn't have troubled you, sir, except the MO found a photograph in his pocket. Taken from a plane. It's a place called Hoch Feldhausen. It's marked on the back. Well, I'd say that sounds German, wouldn't you, sir? Meredith looks at Milner. Garton Wood. The three of them walk through the trees while uniformed officers question two the land girls in the background. Meredith: Any idea who he was? Brooke: His name was Henry Scott. Er, he was carrying his identity card. They reach the body and Milner lifts the blanket covering it. There's a ladder propped up against the tree he was found hanging from. Milner: How long had he been here? Brooke: Only about an hour or so, sir, according to the doc. Meredith: Very young. Brooke: You, erm, you don't suppose he was a Jerry spy, do you, sir? Well, all the troop movements around here, it wouldn't surprise me. Milner: Why would a German spy carry a photograph of one of his own towns? It would incriminate him. Brooke: Homesick? Milner looks up at the tree. Milner: Sergeant, do you mind climbing the ladder? Brooke: Right you are, sir. Milner: Tell me what you see. Brooke: Well, it's a lovely view up here, Mr Milner. There's lots of trees... Milner: I'm not interested in the view. Look at the branch. Can you see where the rope was? Brooke: Yes, it's, er, it's cut a groove into the branch. Milner: How deep is it? Brooke: Oh, it's quite deep. It's deeper than I would have imagined. Milner: Doesn't go all the way round? Brooke: No, sir, about halfway. Meredith: What are you going on about, Milner? Milner: Well, look at the rope, sir. There's a green stain all the way down where it's rubbed against the branch. Meredith: Well, what of it? Milner: If you were going to hang yourself, you'd throw the rope over the branch and tie it. Or you might climb up and tie it. Meredith: Yeah. Milner: But this rope has been dragged over the branch with something heavy attached to the other end. It's made, a deep groove, and a whole length of it has been stained green. Meredith takes a look at the rope. Later. The three of them are walking back through the trees. Milner: I also noticed extensive bruising at the back of the victim's head. I suppose he could have ht the branch as he fell, but I don't think so. Meredith: You think he was knocked out? Milner: Yes, sir. Knocked out and then dragged into the air. I think he was mrder. The Plume of Feathers pub, night. Aubrey, Sam and Foyle are having drinks together. Aubrey: It was a fascinating afternoon. I met Francis Wood. Very impressive. And, er, were you aware you have a German priest here in Hastings? Sam: A Jerry? He's probably spying on us. Aubrey: No, not at all. He's a friend of Bonhoeffer. Sam: Who's he? Aubrey: Bonhoeffer. You know who I'm talking about? Foyle: Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Aubrey: Mmm, German Protestant. Spoke out against htler. Foyle: He did here in 1933. Aubrey: Well, you'll be sorry to hear that he insisted on returning to Germany and the Gestapo arrested him. He's in prison. But you must come out with me tomorrow. There are some public forums and you can meet Father Keppler. He's in Hastings. From St Jude's. Sam: I can't imagine anything more dreary. Aubrey: That's because you're a wicked girl and a severe disappointment to your parents and all your uncles. So why don't you tell us what you're doing with yourself now you've been thrown out of the police? Sam: I wasn't thrown out, I resigned. Anyway, I can't tell you anything except I'm making a vital contribution to the wr effort. Aubrey: I'll drink to that. Sam: It's not the same, you know, sir. You should have stayed. Foyle: Really? Sam: Well, if you're writing a wartime history of the Hastings police, you should stay till the last chapter. Foyle: No, no, no. Belongs to somebody else. Sam: DCS Meredith, you mean. He was the one who fired me. Aubrey: I thought you said you resigned? Sam: Well, I would have, given the chance. Oh. I've got to go, I'm afraid. I've a seven o'clock start. She gets up to get her coat. Aubrey: Keeping you on your toes, then, at Secret Intelligence? Sam: It's a very boring job, Uncle Aubrey. Worse than that. It's a long way away and I miss the car. She kisses him on the cheek and leaves. Daylight. Sam cycles along the road to Beverley Lodge. She comes to a halt at the guard post. Sam: Morning, Bob. Bob: Morning. He takes her pass and consults his clipboard. Sam: Reporting for duty. Later. Sam cycles the rest of the way up to the building stops. Victoria Hammond's boarding house. A police car pulls up outside and Milner gets out. Milner: I won't be long. He rings the bell. Inside. Hammond: So he's dad. Well, it's very sad but I can't say I'm completely surprised. Milner: What makes you say that, Mrs Hammond? Hammond: He's tried twice before. su1c1de. You wouldn't think that, would you? A good Catholic boy. Milner: He was religious? Hammond: Bible before bed every night. Milner: Erm, what else can you tell me about him? Hammond: I can tell you I wish he'd never moved in. You don't know what it was like having a person like that in the house. I never knew what was gonna happen next. And now this! Milner: Can you tell me where he worked? Hammond: The Air Ministry. They were the ones who billeted him here. But I, I, I can't tell you what he did. He, he wasn't allowed to talk about it. Milner: And, er, when did you last see him? Hammond: Erm, he, he came in about three o'clock or a few minutes before. I could see he was in a state. He didn't stay long and he went out again almost immediately. Milner: Did he say where he was going? Hammond: No. "Just out." That's all he said. You should go and visit, er, Father Keppler. Oh, I know he's a Jerry but he's a good chap. He's the priest at St Jude's. I told you. Mr Scott was devout. When he wasn't trying to do himself in. But they were very close, the two of them. St Jude's church. Milner walks into the empty church. Milner: Hello? Churchyard. Milner walks back over to join Brooke. Brooke: No one at home? Milner: Seems not. Brooke: Been no one home for a while. God's on holiday if you ask me. How else do you explain Herr htler? Cranville College. Keppler is walking round the edge of the quadrangle. He passes two other men talking. Keppler: Good morning. Man: Morning. He rounds the corner to where Aubrey and Foyle are standing. Aubrey: Ah, Father Keppler. Good morning. They shake hands. Aubrey: Christopher, this is the man I was telling you about. Er, Martin Keppler, Christopher Foyle. Keppler: Er, it's a great pleasure. Foyle: How do you do? They shake hands. Aubrey: Mr Foyle used to be in charge of the police in Hastings. Keppler: You are joining us today? Foyle: Oh, I thought I might look in, yes. They start walking along together. Keppler: Ah. Er, you have left the police? Foyle: I have. Keppler: What I always find strange is that anyone would wish to commit crime in a time of wr. Foyle: Well, irrepressible human nature, I suppose. Keppler: Ah. And human nature cannot be defined by nationality. Foyle: Probably know a little more about that than I do. Keppler: I have to believe it, in my profession. Foyle: How long have you been here? Keppler: I came here two years before the wr. I could see the direction my country was taking. I could not go with it, so I left. I had no choice. I had spoken out in public. That was a great mistake. The Gestapo had started to search for me. Foyle: Very difficult, I imagine, for you to, er, to be in England at this time? Keppler: What is difficult for me is that I, I did not have the courage to stay in Germany. Police station reception area. Wing Commander Forster is pacing in the waiting area, and turns when he hears the door. He approaches Milner as he enters. Forster: Excuse me. Are you Sergeant Milner? Milner: Yes, sir. Forster: I'm Wing Commander Stephen Forster. I'm here about the man who was found hanging in the woods, Henry Scott. Meredith's office. Forster is there with him and Milner. Forster: Look, I really don't think any police investigation is needed. Milner: With respect, sir, that's not for you to decide. Forster: I just don't want you wasting your time. Or mine. Henry Scott was a mess. He hated his job. He hated the wr. He'd tried to do away with himself at least twice before. Meredith: Was this ever reported, Wing Commander? Forster: No. Of course, it should have been. But Scott was superb at his work, and we decided to look after him ourselves. Meredith: Did he have any enemies? Forster: No. None that I know of. Meredith: Well, I must say, Milner, this does look a bit like a blind alley. Milner: You still haven't told us what his work was, sir. Forster: I can't. Not without clearance from the Air Ministry, and frankly, I don't think they'll give it. Our work is highly classified. Milner: And we still have a man who is dad, sir. Forster: A man who klled himself. Meredith: Look, this isn't getting us very far. We'll apply to the Air Ministry and see what they have to say. Forster: Fine. Meredith: I take it you are on the telephone? And that we can get in touch with you? Forster: Of course. By the way, did Scott have a photograph with him? Meredith: Yes. What was the name on it, Milner? Milner: Hoch Feldhausen, sir. Meredith: That's right. Forster: I need it back. Milner: I'm sorry, sir. I can't do that. It's police evidence. Forster: It's actually very important to us right now. Beverley Lodge. Jane is climbing the stairs. She passes Adam coming down. Jane: Have you heard about Henry? Adam: Everyone's heard about poor Henry. Jane: You don't care, do you? Adam: Give me one reason why I should. Jane: Because we needed him here. He was good at his job. He was the best. Adam: I imagine there are Henries beavering away in drawing offices all over the country. They'll find a replacement. Jane: He was my friend. Adam: Oh, was he? Jane: You know how I felt about him. Adam: Rather better than you, Jane. You felt sorry for him, that's all. Jane: You're a cad. Adam: It's the truth, Jane, and you know it. You had no relationship with Henry Scott- Sam is coming along the upper level towards the staircase with some rolled papers, and stops when she sees them talking on the stairs. Adam: Beyond some Hansel and Gretel thing, which, in the absence of any gingerbread cottages, was going nowhere. And now that he's gone, you're trying to pretend there was more to it than that. Jane: You're glad he's dad. Adam: Not really. Jane: Yes, you are. Because he knew something about you. You wanted him out of the way. Adam looks up and notices Sam. Adam: Have you been eavesdropping? Sam: No. Not really. I was just sent up here to get some maps. She starts moving again. Adam moves closer to Jane. Adam: Listen, we shouldn't talk here. Why don't you come out for a drink tonight. Jane: You never give up, do you? She walks off up the stairs. Sam passes behind Adam, heading down. Adam: You're Stewart, is that right? Sam: Yes. Samantha Stewart. They shake hands. Adam: Adam Everitt. Are you new here? Sam: Actually, I've been here about six months. Adam: Well, er, the maps. Sam: Yes, I've got them here. Adam: Maybe you'd better take them down. Sam: Right. Cranville college. Bishop Wood is talking with a group of a dozen seated around a conference table. Aubrey and Keppler are among them. Wood: Germany is being demolished. Town by town, village by village, night after night. Civilians are dying. Monuments are being destroyed. The bmb have no real plan of attck, because in the darkness, bmb is blind. This is not the way of a civilised society. Milner enters the room behind him, escorted by a priest who approaches the table. Wood: This is nothing more than revenge and we have to tell people that it is wrong. The priest whispers something to Wood. Wood: Father Keppler. I'm very sorry, but I've been asked to tell you there's a police officer here who wishes to see you. Keppler: Will you excuse me, gentlemen? He leaves the table. Wood: The historic centres of the great German cities are being destroyed. Outside. Keppler and Milner are walking along together. Keppler: You interrupted a very important meeting. What is it that concerns you? Milner: I understand you know a man called Henry Scott? Keppler: Henry? Yes, I know him well. Milner: Did you see him yesterday afternoon? Keppler: No. I, I was here most of the afternoon. Then I, I went home. Why do you ask? Milner: I'm sorry to have to tell you that he was found dad yesterday afternoon. In Garton Wood. Not far from here. Keppler: Um, may, may I ask you, Sergeant, had he taken his own life? Milner: Yes, it appeared that way. Keppler rubs his face for a moment. Keppler: Forgive me. I, I thought all this was behind him. I thought- I shall pray for his soul. He was a very troubled young man, but to take your own life is a great sin. Milner: What did trouble him, sir? Keppler: The wr. His part in it. The loss of innocent life. He, he felt responsible. Milner: Why? What was his occupation? Keppler: You don't know? Milner: No. Keppler: Then I'm afraid I'm unable to tell you, Sergeant. Henry told me about certain aspects of his work, but in very strict confidence. You understand I speak here of the trust between a priest and a supplicant? So I am sorry, Sergeant, but, in this case, I have to answer to a higher authority than yours. Milner: And I still have to investigate his death. Keppler: Of course. But if he took his own life, I, I don't see why. Milner: I said it appeared that way. Keppler: But you can't think he... How was he found? Milner: He was hanging from a tree. Keppler: Only a few weeks ago, it was pills. Milner: You should have reported it. Keppler: A crime against the state? Perhaps, but for me, it was more a crime against his own faith. Milner: Did you try to help him? Keppler: Of course. And I failed. I will have to live with that. But let me assure you, Sergeant, Henry had no enemies. There was- there was nobody who would wish him dad. Milner: I don't believe it was su1c1de. Keppler: Well, then I will help you in any way I can. Although within those boundaries I've already explained to you. Milner: Thank you. I don't suppose you've heard of a place called Hoch Feldhausen? Keppler: Why do you ask? Milner: Have you? Keppler: Feldhausen. It's a common name. Er, there was a Feldhausen, I think, outside Berlin. But Hoch Feldhausen? No, I don't think so. Milner: When did you come to England, sir? Keppler: Er, before the wr, in '37. Milner: And where were you before that? Keppler: I was in Munich, the church of St Nicholas. Milner: Thank you. We'll talk again. Keppler: I, I'm an easy man to find. My door is always open. Milner walks away. Beverley Lodge, night. Sam heads over to collect her bike from outside the building. As she wheels it away, Adam walks up behind her. Adam: Miss Stewart. Sam: Yes? Adam: I'd just like to say, about this afternoon, it's not good to eavesdrop, especially in a place like this. Sam: I don't know what you're talking about. Adam: Well, listening in on things that have nothing to do with you. I'd be careful if I were you. Sam: Are you thrat me? Adam: I'm just advising you not to repeat things that you shouldn't have heard in the first place. Sam: It's Mr Everitt, isn't it? Adam: That's right. Sam: Well, I'd forgotten all about it, if you really want to know. Adam: I'm glad. Sam: But since you're so worried about it that you've come out here to bully me, I'm going to mention it to everyone I can. She gets on her bike and rides away. Meredith's office. Meredith: These priests and vicars aren't going to say anything to you. He and Milner are heading out of the office together. Meredith: And I'm not sure we can make them. As for the Air Ministry, I doubt we're going to hear from them. Milner: We can approach Wing Commander Forster again, sir. Meredith: Well, we can always try, I suppose. Perhaps we should reconsider the whole thing. I mean, are we sure we are dealing with mrder here? Milner: I have a gut feeling, sir. Meredith: Not much else. I mean, this man Scott was suicidal. And it seems an awful lot of trouble to lug him up into a tree. Milner: Unless it was to make it look like he klled himself. They pass through the reception area where Brooke is at the front desk. Meredith: Good night, Sergeant. Brooke: Night, sir. Outside. Meredith and Milner walk out of the building together. Meredith: Now, you do what you think is best. Milner: Thank you, sir. Meredith: I don't suppose you'd care for a drink before you get home? Milner: Er, no, sir. A short distance away, someone aims a rfle at the two of them. Milner: That's very kind of you, but, er, my wife will be waiting for me. The rfle scope moves between the two of them. Meredith: Okay. Damn! I've left my fountain pen inside. He turns to go back into the building. The rfle scope is focused on Milner. Then Meredith walks in front of him. The rfle fires. Meredith groans in pain and clutches his chest, collapsing. Milner rushes over to him. As he helps Meredith to the ground, Milner sees that his hand is covered in blood. Meredith: Charlie! Brooke hurries out of the building. Brooke: Milner? Milner: Brooke, call for an ambulance! Meredith: I've missed you, Charlie. Milner: Sir, try to keep still. Meredith: I'm glad you're here. His eyes roll back. Daylight. A car is driving along with Assistant Commissioner Henry Parkins in the back. It approaches Cranville College. Outside the college building. Aubrey and Foyle are walking along together. Aubrey: You sure you don't want to join us today? Foyle: No, I won't, thank you, if it's all the same to you. Aubrey: We have a fascinating debate this morning. Parkins' car pulls up nearby. Aubrey: The question is, how do we get the message across? The English church, the German church, one family. Looking beyond the wr to the future. Coming together again. Foyle: It would happen in time, wouldn't it? The two of them are walking in the direction of the car as Parkins gets out. Aubrey: No, Christopher. That's the whole point. It has to happen now. Parkins: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Uh-oh. Aubrey: What is it? Foyle: Trouble. Aubrey: Oh. I'll leave you to it. Foyle: Oh, will you. Thank you. Assistant Commissioner. Parkins: How are you? Foyle: I'm very well. You? Parkins: Yes, thanks. Foyle: Little over-dressed for a church conference, I'd have said. Parkins: I'd like to speak to you privately. They walk through into the hall with the conference table, currently empty. Parkins: You haven't heard? Meredith was sht last night. Foyle is silent for a moment. Foyle: How is he? Parkins: He's dad. Milner was with him. He's all right. He wasn't touched. But Meredith died in his arms. Foyle: Well, I'm very sorry to hear that. I never met him. Parkins: I knew him well. In fact, I recommended him for the job. Foyle: Any idea who did it? Parkins: Not yet. We're not even sure that he was the target. In fact, it's more likely it was Milner. Foyle: Really? Parkins: Someone had a go at him just a few days ago. Foyle: Did they? Parkins: I was told I'd find you here. Foyle: Well, I know why you're here. And the answer's no. Parkins: I can understand that. But listen, this is completely unprecedented. The sh*ting of a senior police officer in the street. Foyle: Well, I understand that. The answer's no. Parkins sits down. Parkins: When you resigned a year ago, I was new to the job. I was trying to find my feet. All the facts of the matter seemed to be against you. But the truth is, I was a Colonel Blimp of the very worst sort, and you were absolutely right to resign. I beg of you to reconsider and come back, if only to discover who committed this terrible crime. We have to bring his kller to justice. Foyle: Milner's very capable. Parkins: I know that, and I agree. But did you know he's put in for transfer? Foyle: I did. Parkins: Well, therein lies our problem. This is difficult, particularly in the light of what I've just said, but I'm afraid there's been a certain lack of leadership in Hastings since you left. There is no one else. Police station. Foyle walks through the doors into the reception area, where Brooke is at the desk. Brooke: Mr Foyle! Foyle: Good morning. Brooke: Sir. Oh, don't tell me- are, are you coming...? Foyle holds up a hand to stop him. Foyle: Only for a while. Just a temporary arrangement tell we sort out what happened to Mr Meredith, okay? Brooke: Sir. Well, thank goodness someone at the top has finally shown a bit of sanity. Foyle: Right. You question the judgement of any senior officer in front of me ever again, I'll make sure you're transferred and demoted. Better still, I'll have you discharged. He walks through into the back. Brooke: Nice to have him back. Meredith's office. Foyle walks into the room and takes his hat and coat off. He picks up the photo Meredith left on the desk and looks at it for a moment before moving it over to a side table. Meredith house. Joyce: Justice won't help my husband now, will it? But I know you'll do your best. Foyle and Milner are both there. Foyle: Yes. Joyce: You didn't know John, did you? Foyle: I didn't, no. Milner: No, I served under your husband, Mrs Meredith. Joyce: Mr Milner. You wanted a transfer. He told me. Milner: It was personal circumstances. Joyce: You're lying to me. You both are. You think I'm the grieving widow so you're telling me what you think I want to hear. But I'm not. She goes over to pick up a photo and shows it to them. Joyce: These are my two sons. Teddy was klled the year before last in Africa. Charlie died last year. He was with the 8th Army in Sicily. John didn't want your job, Mr Foyle. They twisted his arm to make him take it. And when he did, he didn't care about it. He didn't care about anything. He was dad inside. We both were. She takes the photo over to put it back. Joyce: I still am. I can't grieve. I have no feelings left. Outside. Foyle and Milner are leaving the building. Milner: He thought I was his son. Foyle: Beg your pardon? Milner: When he was dying, that's who he thought I was. Foyle: Did he? Milner: He called me Charlie. Foyle: Well, some small comfort in that, I suppose. Milner: I just thought he was doing a bad job. I didn't try to understand him. Beverley Lodge. Sam is leaving the building to walk back to her bike. Then she spots Jane sitting alone on a bench and goes over to her. Sam: Hello. You all right? Jane has been crying. Jane: Yes. No, not really. Sam sits down on the bench beside her. Sam: This is about Henry, isn't it? Do you want to talk about him? Jane: I've got no one to talk to. Sam: Well, you can talk to me. Jane: I don't even know you. Sam: Yes. Well, that's the thing about Beverley Lodge, isn't it? Everyone's working in their different sections and nobody seems to know anyone. Jane: You're in the library, aren't you? Sam: That's me. And you work for Wing Commander Forster? Jane: Yes. Administration. Sam: How long were you there for? Jane: Three years. Sam: And what about Henry? Jane: He was here right from the start. He was brilliant at his work. Everyone said so. Sam: And you were very close? Jane: We were walking out together. For a time. Then it all went wrong. Sam: Don't tell me. That Everitt chap? Jane: Did you hear what we were saying? Sam: A bit, I'm afraid. Jane: Adam hated Henry. But it was more than that. Henry knew something about him. But he might have just been making it up, I don't know. Sam: Well, Adam certainly seemed worried about something. Jane: Adam wouldn't hurt anyone, I'm sure of it. Sometimes he says stupid things, but he doesn't mean them. But, at the same time, I was the last person to see Henry alive and I know he wasn't going to kll himself. Meredith's office. Foyle sits down at the desk opposite Milner, flicking through a file. Foyle: Well, this is all pretty thorough. Is this it? Milner: Yes, sir. Foyle: Well, we certainly need, er, more on, er, Henry Scott and, er, this. Where's this place again? He picks up the aerial photograph. Milner: Er, it's written on the back, sir. Foyle: Hoch. Milner: Feldhausen. Foyle: What did Keppler have to say about this? Milner: He couldn't help me. He'd never heard of it. Foyle: And you spoke to Forster, didn't you? Milner: Yes, we did. Nothing there either, although he did want that back. Foyle: Right. Well, we should try him again. Milner: I'm not sure he'll be very helpful, though. He's, er, under Air Ministry restrictions. Foyle: Well, we'll get clearance. I'll speak to Parkins. Call Forster, anyway. Milner: Yes, sir. Foyle: Keppler, Forster... Who else isn't telling us anything? Police interview room. Burton: How long are you planning to keep me here? Foyle (offscreen): As long as it takes, Mr Burton. Burton: I want my lawyer. Foyle (offscreen): Well, you're gonna need one. Defrauding the armed services in a time of wr. There's, er, there's not a judge in the country is gonna look kindly on that one. Burton: You can't prove anything. Foyle looks towards Milner who's standing beside him. Foyle: You made thrat against a police officer. You're an accessory to the mrder of another. Burton: What do you mean? Foyle: Two attempts on this man's life after you made the thrat led to the death of another officer. Burton: I had nothing to do with it. Look, I warned him. It's not me. There are people out there, my connections. I told you, I was in here. I had nothing to do with it. Foyle: Then why are you covering up for the people who did? Listen, I don't really care one way or another, to be honest with you. You made the thrat. Somebody's carried them out. Now you're refusing to tell us who that was or might have been. It's enough to hang you. He moves to leave. Burton: Wait. I've worked with lots of people and it could have been any of them. Foyle: Well, it's not enough. We need names. Burton sighs. Photo-processing room. Waterlow is going through a stack of photographs. He turns as he hears a door creak open. Forster's office. He's on the phone. Forster: Yes, of course I understand, but I'm still going to have to wait until I've heard from my superiors in London. Adam stands in the open doorway to the photo-processing room, listening. Forster: I'm sorry. There's nothing more I can say. He hangs up. Out in the photo-processing room, Waterlow moves forward to watch the two of them through the doorway. Forster: The police want to see me again. Adam: Put them off. He goes to close the door and sees Waterlow watching. Waterlow moves away. Forster: Everitt, for God's sake. Everything has changed. The officer who was in charge of the case has been klled. Adam: What? Forster: They've put another man in. Someone called Foyle. They're bound to find their way here eventually. Adam: Well, you're going to have to stop them, Wing Commander. Because if they find their way to you, they'll find their way to me. And if that happens, we both go down. Forster: What do you know about the death of Henry Scott? Adam: Nothing. Nothing at all. Forster: Don't lie to me, Everitt. Tell me what you know. Photo-processing room. Two women are just leaving their desks. Woman: Ready to go? Woman 2: Yes. Woman: Jolly good. I'll finish all this lot tomorrow. Woman 2: Oh, well done. Waterlow is left alone in the room. He goes over to the door to check they're gone, then closes it and goes back to his desk. He takes out a camera and begins taking photographs of some aerial photos and maps. Phone box. Waterlow is speaking on the phone. Waterlow: I've got the pictures and it's just as we thought. Dortmund, two weeks from now, but they've got the factories half a mile to the south. Yes, way off line. It'll be a miracle if they ht anything. That's right, don't worry. I'll send them in the usual way. Police station reception area. Sam enters and walks up to the desk, where Brooke is on duty. Brooke: Miss Stewart! What are you doing here? Sam: Hello, Brookie. Look, I've got some very important information. Who should I speak to about it? Brooke: Well, it's funny you should ask that, actually. Foyle is just coming out from the back. Foyle: Sam? Sam: Sir! What are you doing here? Foyle: Well, what are you doing here? Sam: I've come about Henry Scott. The man who was klled in the woods. It wasn't su1c1de. It was mrder. And I think I know who did it. Foyle's office. Foyle leads Sam and Milner inside. Sam: I've been working there for six months, sir. I was put onto them by the WVS. They just said they needed someone to work in the library. I had no idea what they did. It turns out they were making maps. When they bmb some of those dams last year, Beverley Lodge made some of the maps that got them there. And all the raids going on now, you wouldn't believe it... Foyle holds up a finger. Foyle: You might want to stop there. Sam: I haven't done anything wrong, have I, sir? Foyle: Well, you mean apart from breaking the Official Secrets Act? Sam: Well, I, I had to tell someone after what Jane Hudson told me. She's convinced Henry didn't hang himself. Milner: Even though he'd tried twice before? Sam: Oh, she says they weren't real attempts. You know, a cry for help and all that. Anyway, he knew something about this chap, Adam Everitt. I've met him, and I can tell you, he's a nasty piece of work. If Henry had something on him, he wouldn't hesitate for a second. And he was the last person to see Henry alive. And according to Jane, he was on his way to his church. He was going to tell the priest there something that he knew. Maybe he did. Anyway, you have to talk to Jane Hudson, sir. She wants to see you. Foyle: Right. Mm-hmm. Is that it? Sam: Yes, sir. Foyle: Well, well done. Sam: I have to go back to Beverley Lodge now. Is there anything else I can do? Foyle: You could, erm, keep your mouth shut, stay out of trouble. Sam: Wilco. Cranville College. Keppler and Bishop Wood are speaking amid a group of other delegates. Keppler: My lord, I, I understand what you're saying, your, your talk of reconciliation. Foyle and Milner are approaching across the quadrangle. Wood: I'm sure you understand it better than anyone, Father Keppler. Keppler: Yes, but the fact is, the wr has gone on for a very long time. Wood: But the end is in sight. Quadrangle. Milner: Martin Keppler didn't tell me very much, sir. He said he answered to a higher authority. Foyle: Seemed reasonable enough when I met him. They approach Wood and Keppler. Foyle: Good afternoon. Keppler: Good afternoon. Wood: Can I help you? Foyle: Erm, just hoping for a few more words with Father Keppler. Wood: Again? Foyle: Yes, again. If you don't mind? Wood: I do mind. This is an ecumenical conference. And I object to my people being dragged into some squalid investigation, particularly Father Keppler. Foyle: Particularly because? Wood: I should have thought it was obvious why you're singling him out. As if he didn't suffer enough as a refugee when he came to this country. Keppler: Please, my lord, I am quite happy to talk to these officers. Although I, er, I thought Mr Foyle had retired from police work? Foyle: Yeah, so did I. As for the, er, squalid investigation, I'll grant it's a little less ecumenical than your conference, but, er, considering a policeman has been mrder and another man has been found dad in the woods here, I'd have hoped the church might have managed a little more understanding of our position. Wood: I'm sorry. I'll leave you together. Keppler: If you'd excuse us, er...? He and the other delegates leave. Keppler: So this is now official? Foyle: Er, it seems so, yes. No, I just wanted to ask if you'd, erm, by any chance, seen Mr Scott on the day he died? Keppler: No, I did not. Foyle: Oh. Didn't come to the church, for example? Keppler: Well, he may have done, but he wouldn't have found me there. I was here. Foyle: Oh, right. Keppler: All day? Until about mid-afternoon. I left about three o'clock, I think. Foyle: Right. Did he ever talk to you about his work? Keppler: I, I have already explained to your sergeant. I am unable to talk about Henry's work. Foyle: Oh, right. Not quite what I asked. Erm, did he talk to you? Keppler: Henry had doubts about his work. That we discussed often. He felt ashamed. But for a German to ask too many questions, er, even a Category C alien like myself, would not have been wise. Foyle: I understand. Mmm. Erm, evidently, for whatever reason, he took a photograph away from the place where he works that day. Erm, any idea why he'd have done that? Keppler: No. I'm afraid not, no. Foyle: Oh. I mean, you wouldn't have seen that? Keppler: Er, forgive me, Mr Foyle, I think I said I did not see Henry, so how could I? Foyle: Quite, quite. Police station reception area. Foyle and Milner walk in. Brooke clears his throat to draw their attention. Parkins is behind the desk with him. Parkins: Foyle. Foyle: Assistant Commissioner. Parkins: I don't want to take up too much of your time. I've managed to get clearance for you to visit Beverley Lodge from the Air Ministry. It basically gives you carte blanche. Only you, I'm afraid. And they're gonna make you sign a great pile of official forms. But at least you're in. Beverley Lodge. Brooke drives Foyle up to the building. Brooke: So, what exactly is this place, then, sir? Foyle: I could tell you, Sergeant... Brooke: But then you'd have to sh*t me. Yeah, I know that one, sir. Foyle gets out. Foyle: Don't tempt me. He walks into the building as Brooke reverses the car. Forster's office. He checks through Foyle's documents as they walk in together. Forster: Yes, well, these are all in order. I must apologise to you, Mr Foyle. I wasn't being deliberately obstructive. Foyle: No, no, no, no, I'm sure you weren't. Forster: Well, maybe I was, but that's my job. Very few people know the existence of this place, and the majority of people that do probably work here. But now that London have given you the go-ahead, anything I can do to help? Foyle: Well, you can start by telling me exactly what Henry Scott did here. Forster: He was an aircraftsman second class, sent to us from High Wycombe. He'd done an apprenticeship as a lithographic maps and plan draughtsman. But we have lots of different sorts of people here. Designers, cartoonists even. He leads Foyle through into the photo-processing room. Forster: This is where the bulk of our work gets done. We only have old maps of Germany. htler made sure that none left the country after 1933. So we have to adapt them, using local intelligence, aerial photographs, anything we can get, really. This is the stereoscope. Take a look, if you like. Foyle looks through the stereoscope. Forster: We have two photographs taken at two different angles and the result is a three-dimensional effect that allows us to judge height, distance, that sort of thing. This is Waterlow, one of our more recent arrivals. Waterlow stands up as they approach his desk. Waterlow: How do you do? Foyle: How do you do? Forster: Mr Foyle's a police officer. He's making enquiries about poor Scott. Waterlow: Ah, yes, that was a blow. Foyle: You know him well? Waterlow: Er, not particularly. I worked with him, but we weren't good friends. Foyle: Any reason for that? Waterlow: He was a bit of a Bible-basher. Not quite my cup of tea. Forster: Shall we press on? They leave and walk through to the reception area. Forster: There are various divisions scattered around. Fair drawing, printing. We produce over two hundred copies of every map we make here. There's a library upstairs, and distribution centre, motor transport section over in the sab, and, of course, we have our own canteen. Foyle: How long have you been here? Forster: I came in '42. Foyle: Before that? Forster: I was with bmb Command at Laverton. Other side of the fence, you might say. Henry Scott was unhappy with the work we do here. He was good at his job but he hated the wr. Should have been a conchie. They walk through to the outer door. Foyle: Why wasn't he? Forster: I don't know. But nobody here was very surprised when he klled himself. I would have thought you'd have better things to do with your time. Foyle: You'd be surprised. Outside. Foyle approaches the car where Brooke is waiting. Foyle: Sergeant. Brooke: Sir. They both get in. Inside. Adam hurries down the stairs to meet Forster. Adam: Well? Forster: He's not interested in you, Everitt. You can relax. Meredith house. Aubrey Stewart approaches and knocks on the door. Inside. Aubrey: Thank you for letting me visit you. Christopher Foyle asked me to look in. Joyce: Oh, yes? Aubrey: He was concerned about you. Joyce: He thought I needed a clergyman? I already have one, thank you. He's burying my husband. Aubrey: This may be an impertinence, but, erm, do you go to church? Joyce: I used to. Aubrey: Ah. This wr has tested the faith of a good many people. All those lives lost. Not just in England, but across the whole world. France, Poland. Even Germany. Joyce: Germany? Aubrey: They're suffering, too. Joyce: And they deserve to. They were butchers to begin with and they're butchers now. Aubrey: Mrs Meredith, I... Joyce: Even the ancient Romans loathed them. Every European wr in the last hundred years was caused by them. I hope, at the end of this one, they're wiped off the face of the earth. Aubrey: I can't share that feeling. Joyce: I don't ask you to. But you can leave my house. Aubrey: Of course. I'm so sorry. Joyce: The church wants us to love these people, to forgive them. But I never will. The Plume of Feathers pub. Night. Jane (voiceover): Thank you for seeing me, Mr Foyle. She, Sam and Foyle are sitting at a table together. Jane: I didn't know who to turn to, but I had to tell someone what I know. I'll get into trouble for talking about Beverley Lodge. Sam: It's, it's all right. Foyle: I understand, er, you knew Henry Scott? Jane: I was in love with him. Least, I think I was. And he liked me. We sang in the choir together at St Jude's. Henry was very close friends with the priest there, Martin Keppler. Foyle: And you weren't? Jane: I had to get used to the fact that he was a German. But he's a good man, and if he'd stayed behind, they'd have put him in a concentration camp, so... Sam: Go on. Jane: Henry had, um, very deeply-held beliefs. In a way, that was the problem. He hated what he was doing because he felt responsible for the bmb. And there was another side to it. In his relationship with me. He wouldn't even touch me. He said it was wrong. We talked about marriage and I think he, he might have married me eventually, but... I wanted more than that. I just wanted to be close. Foyle: And that wasn't enough? Jane: I met someone else. A man called Adam Everitt joined us in revisions section. I don't know how he was chosen because he wasn't very good and Henry was furious. Henry hated his work, in a way, but it was still important to him to get it right. Foyle: And so you started seeing, um, Adam Everitt? Jane: We went to Brighton for the weekend. It was madness, but I wanted to have some fun. Sam will tell you. Life at Beverley Lodge can be very grey. Foyle: Did Henry know about this? Jane: Yes. I don't know how, but I think Adam told him. It would be typical of him. After that, Henry wouldn't talk to me again. It was as if I'd betrayed him, but it wasn't like that. I'd never promised him anything! Foyle: And you don't think he'd have klled himself? Jane: I know he didn't. Don't ask me how. I just know. Foyle: And, er, what about Adam, then? Jane: Henry was thrat Adam with something that he knew. He told me he'd found out something about an uncle of Adam's. I don't know what he was talking about, but obviously it mattered to him. Foyle: This uncle have a name? Jane: Bill. That was all he said. Sam: William Everitt? Unless it was his mother's side. Foyle: And when was the last time you saw Henry, then? Jane: It was about... three o'clock. I met him on the stairs. He said something very strange. "It's not there." Those were his exact words. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Jane: I asked him where he was going. And he said the church. And that was it. She starts to cry. Police interview room. Brooke opens the door to let Milner inside. Burton pushes a few sheets of paper across the table towards him. Burton: That's all of them, all right? Going back four years. Milner: You've certainly been busy. Burton: I had nothing to do with what happened to you. Milner: I wish I could believe you. Burton: The first time, that was different. We didn't mean anything by it. We were just trying to show you who's who. Milner: Are going to tell me who was driving the truck? Burton: Their name's on the list. I never klled anyone. I never would. gn? It's not my style, Mr Milner. I promise you. Milner: What can you tell me about Beverley Lodge? Bus stop outside the Plume of Feathers. Foyle and Aubrey walk towards the waiting bus. Aubrey: Well, thank you, once again, for putting me up and putting up with me. Foyle: Oh, it's a great pleasure. Aubrey: Oh, by the way, I visited Mrs Meredith, as you asked. Foyle: Do any good? Aubrey: Afraid not. Well, perhaps it did help her, in a way, having someone to blame. Foyle: Oh, yeah, what's that? Aubrey: Oh, the church. God. The way of the world. Anyone. Anything. Talking to her, I suddenly realised. You're absolutely right. This talk, you know, repentance, reconciliation, Bishop Wood. It's all very well. But perhaps right now what we really need is a little more humility. The church will be there at the end of the wr. They'll find us. People will find us. Not sure we can drag them to places they're not ready to go. He sighs. Aubrey: That poor woman. I don't think I've ever met anyone quite so lost. He turns as Sam comes hurrying up with her bike. Aubrey: Ah, there you are, Samantha. You going to give me a kiss goodbye? Sam: Goodbye, Uncle Aubrey. She kisses his cheek. Aubrey: I suppose you'll be going back to the police, now that Mr Foyle's in charge again. Sam: Well, we haven't discussed it yet. Aubrey: Quite right. An unsuitable occupation for an impressionable young lady. She laughs. The bus engine starts. Aubrey: Well, time to go. Good luck to you both. We'll meet again soon. He gets on board the bus. Sam: Don't you think he has a point, sir? Foyle: A point? About what? Sam: About me. Foyle: About you? Sam: Have you thought about having me back? Foyle: Well, I've thought about little else. She laughs. Foyle: See you tomorrow. Sam: Bye. She rides off. As Foyle starts walking, Brooke and Milner drive round the corner in a police car and Brooke honks the horn. He stops outside the pub and Milner gets out. Milner: Can we give you a lift, sir? Foyle: Yes, thank you. How'd you get on? Milner: Henry Scott went straight home on the day he died, but he was seen in Lever Street later on, making a telephone call. Foyle: Burton? Milner: Er, he's talked. Gave me a list of names going back four years. One in particular will interest you. Foyle: Good. They get into the car. Forster's office. He looks at a sheet of paper in his hands. Forster: Yes. I met Burton two and a half years ago when I was at Laverton. Foyle is sitting across from him at the desk. Forster: I must have been out of my mind. It isn't as though I needed the money. But a hundred pounds for a signature on a piece of paper. Foyle: Authorising the use of lorries that didn't exist? Forster: Yes. Of course, once I'd accepted one payment, I couldn't stop. He kept coming back. I hoped I'd lose him when I came here but he tracked me down. Foyle: And then what? Forster: He has a nephew, Adam Everitt. He was called up. He was a gn in the RAF. He didn't like it. He was scared and was looking for a way out. Burton asked me to provide it. Foyle: Did he ask nicely? Forster: He thrat me, of course. Everitt has some design experience. I exaggerated it and made a case for employing him here. Foyle: And Henry Scott knew all about this, did he? Forster: Yes, he found out somehow. I don't know how. Overheard a telephone conversation or something. Foyle: So quite convenient, er, his death, then? Forster: I'm many things, Mr Foyle. But I'm not a mrder. Are you going to arrest me? Foyle: Well, Wing Commander, you've allowed an unqualified man to endanger the lives of pilots and crew. You've stolen money that, er, could have been used otherwise for the wr effort. What do you think? Forster: I see. Foyle: I think probably the Air Ministry will deal with you. He stands up, and Forster does too. Forster: Good. I'm glad. I've been wanting this to happen for some time. If only we could go back in life. I often think that. I'm ashamed of what I've done. Outside. Milner and Foyle emerge from the building, followed by Adam, who's being escorted by a uniformed officer. Adam: Why are you arresting me? I've done nothing wrong. Foyle: You're not being arrested, Mr Everitt, you're being returned to your unit where they'll be very thrilled to see you. Sergeant. Brooke: Sir. He holds the police car door open for Adam to get in. Adam: I'm not going to fight, damn you! Brooke: Well, why don't you try deserting? Then we can sh*t you. Waterlow comes hurrying out of the building behind them. Waterlow: Mr Foyle? Foyle: Yep. Waterlow: I wonder if I might have a word? Photo-processing room. Waterlow leads Foyle in. Waterlow: Have you finished your investigation yet? Foyle: Well, you can never be sure. Waterlow: It's just that I thought I should let you know. My name is Richard Waterlow. I've been working here in the drawing office. But I was actually sent here by Air Intelligence. And I've been told to cooperate with you fully, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Right. Makes a change. Waterlow: We were concerned about the leaking of information from Beverley Lodge. There have been two or three raids in the past few months where the Germans seemed to have had advance knowledge of our intentions. New defences arriving at the last minute, that sort of thing. Foyle: Any ideas? Waterlow: Adam Everitt was my first thought. Little or no experience, and he arrived at around the same time the leaks began. I'd like to speak to him, if that's all right with you? Foyle: Well, you're welcome, but I'd be surprised if he was involved. Henry Scott perhaps? Waterlow: Well. We looked at him and his relationship with Father Martin Keppler. He hands Foyle a folder. Foyle: What's this? Waterlow: It's Keppler's file. It seemed almost too obvious, a German priest living right here in Hastings. But he's been thoroughly checked. Came to England in '37. He's a Category C alien. Cleared at every level. Foyle looks through the file, then looks up at Waterlow. He sets the file down and takes the photo of Hoch Feldhausen out of his pocket. Foyle: You know what this is? Waterlow takes the photo. Waterlow: That's Hoch Feldhausen. This is the photograph that Henry Scott took the day he died. Foyle: Mmm. Waterlow: It should never have left the building. He should have been searched on the way out, but security here is lamentable. Foyle: So I've spotted. According to this... have you read this? Waterlow: I've skimmed through it. Foyle: Keppler was, er, there for five years. He shows Waterlow a page in the file. Waterlow: So that's why he ran out. The village was going to be bmb. Scott knew about it and must have gone off to warn Keppler. Is that the reason he was klled? Foyle: Should be a corresponding photograph to that, is that right? Waterlow: Yes, there certainly is. Waterlow sets the two photos side by side and looks at them through a stereoscope. Waterlow: Well, I can see why the RAF would be interested in this one. There's a rail head and a fuel dump. Foyle: May I see? Waterlow: Please. Foyle takes his place at the stereoscope. Waterlow: Cutting the supply lines is absolutely crucial right now. We're talking about the last phase of the wr and targets like this are top priority. It must be one of the few places in Jerryland that we haven't plastered yet. Foyle lifts his head after studying the photo. St Jude's church. Foyle walks through the churchyard towards the building. Inside. He walks through the seemingly empty church. Keppler steps out behind him. Keppler: Mr Foyle. I thought I might see you again. Foyle: You know, I thought the same. Keppler: You are still on your investigation? Foyle: I am. Keppler: How is it progressing? Foyle: So far, so good. Keppler: I don't see that I can help you any further. Foyle: Well, I'm sure you can, 'cause I'm arresting you for the mrder of Detective Chief Superintendent Meredith and Henry Scott and for the attempted mrder of Detective Sergeant Milner. Do you have anything to say? Keppler is silent for a moment. Keppler: What on Earth are you talking about? Foyle: Do you have anything else to say? Keppler: You must forgive me if, if, if I take a moment. Ridiculous as this is, this is still something of a shock. Foyle: Is that it? Keppler: You are making a very grave mistake, Mr Foyle. This man, er, detective... I never even met him. Why would I want to mrder him? Foyle: You didn't. The intention was to kll Milner. It's Meredith's tragedy that you got the wrong man. Keppler: The question still applies. Why would I want to kll Mr Milner? Foyle: Because you knew it was only a matter of time before the lie you told him would be uncovered. Keppler: I told no lies to him. On the contrary, at every turn, I offered him my considerable help. Foyle brings out the photograph of Hoch Feldhausen. Foyle: Any idea where this is? He hands it to Keppler. Keppler: Can't say I recognise it. Foyle: It's where you preached for five years. Keppler: No, I don't think so. Foyle: Well, it is. According to the statement you made on your file. Keppler: Where is it? Foyle: It's written on the back. Keppler: Ah. Hoch Feldhausen. So it is. Forgive me. I, I've rarely seen it from this angle. Foyle: Not exactly Munich, is it? Keppler: Where did you get this? Foyle: It's the photograph Henry Scott had on him when he died. It's the reason you klled him. Keppler: I did not kll him. I was his friend. The best friend he could have had. Foyle: Yeah. And he believed that, until he realised that even you had betrayed him. Keppler: No. No, no. Henry took his own life. He was a, a deeply troubled young man. Foyle: Oh, well, he certainly was when he saw that. Flashback to Henry looking through the stereoscope. Adam: I want a word. Henry: Not now. Adam: Yes, now, Henry, damn you. Henry: No, no, no. Adam: I said I want to talk to you. Henry: Oh, go to hell, Everitt! He snatches up the photo. Cut back to the church. Foyle: And realised it was exactly the same place where you'd told him you'd preached for five years. Keppler: Yes, I did tell him that. Foyle: But not what you told Milner. It's in his notes that you told him that you'd preached in Munich and had never heard of Hoch Feldhausen. Keppler: A misunderstanding, perhaps, and certainly not intentional, and why would I lie about this? Foyle: Well, because being a priest in Hoch Feldhausen is, erm, more difficult than pretty much anywhere else, I'd have said, Mr Keppler. Keppler: And why would you have said that, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Because there's no church. Which is exactly what he saw when he looked through the stereoscope and understood you to be the fraud that you are. Flashback to Henry at the stereoscope. Church. Keppler sits down and sighs. Foyle: So since you're, er, nothing like any priest I've ever met, what exactly are you, Mr Keppler? Keppler: I did study in a seminary before the wr. But, um, I was never in fact ordained. Foyle: What a relief. A spy? Keppler: A patriot. But, yes, I am employed by the Abwehr, reporting on troop movements along the coast. As you can imagine, I was rather surprised to find a major map-making centre right here under my pastoral care. Foyle: I'm sure. Keppler: It was, erm, a foolish oversight, choosing a village that had no church. He holds up the photo. Keppler: I would be interested to know how you discovered it. He stands up. Foyle: His last words, before he met you, of course, were to one of his more committed friends. Flashback to Henry leaving. Jane: Henry? What is it? What's the matter? Henry: It's not there. Jane: What isn't there? Where are you going? Henry: The church. Cut back to the church. Foyle: He wasn't going here, as you well know. He was referring to the church in Germany where you were supposed to have preached. Keppler: He knew I was at Cranville. He telephoned me there. He was hysterical. I arranged to meet him here and we walked together into Garton Wood. Flashback to Keppler arguing with Henry as they walked through the trees. Keppler (voiceover): I'd hoped it might be possible to spare him. If I could have persuaded him that he was mistaken, I would not have harmed him. But no, there was no other way. Henry looks back at Keppler, then turns away. Keppler strikes him over the back of the head. Church. Keppler: And with his past history, I thought no one would question his apparent su1c1de, but, ha, your Mr Milner. He is very perceptive. Foyle: No other way for him, either? Keppler: I admit, it was the act of a desperate man. Flashback to Keppler aiming the rfle. Meredith: Damn! I've left my fountain pen inside. He walks in front of Milner just as the rfle fires. Church. Keppler: It didn't go my way. None of this has. Foyle: God is not on your side. Are you surprised? Keppler: You're telling me that you think he's on yours? Whatever you may think, I am not an evil man. I have been doing my duty, in exactly the same way as you have been doing yours. God does not come into it. Foyle: Semantics, Mr Keppler. Not interested. Shall we go? Keppler: I don't think so. He draws a pstol and aims it at Foyle. Keppler: Have you come here alone? Foyle: No. I came into the church alone out of respect. For the church, that is. Keppler: You have men waiting outside? Foyle: Of course. Keppler: But even so, you are my enemy. And I have nothing to lose. If I am arrested, I will be excuted. I am a dad man. Foyle: I suggest you make your peace. I'll wait outside. Keppler is still aiming at him. Foyle turns his back on him and walks away. A single gn. Foyle turns and sees Keppler lying dad on the church floor. Police station. Foyle and Milner are walking through together. Milner: If you don't mind me asking, sir, are you intending to stay? Foyle: Well, might as well see the wr out. How about you? You were gonna leave, weren't you? They stop outside his office. Milner: I think I might have second thoughts. Foyle: Good. Brooke steps out behind them. Brooke: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Mmm? Brooke: Someone to see you, sir. As Foyle walks back towards the reception area, Sam steps out, back in her MTC uniform. Sam: Here I am, sir. All present and correct. Foyle: All present and correct for what? Sam: Well, aren't you going to need a driver, sir? Er, I've resigned. Foyle: That's a bit presumptuous, isn't it? Sam: Well, absolutely, sir. I presumed you couldn't manage without me. Foyle: Well, look... He makes her wait for a moment. Foyle: Get the car. I'll be out in five minutes. He walks off. Sam exchanges smiles with Brooke, then heads out. Milner goes into his office, and Brooke approaches Foyle's. He closes the door, revealing that the wooden plate with Meredith's name has been removed to show Foyle's again. Brooke: That's better. He walks away.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "06x01 - Plan of att*ck"}	foreverdreaming
A coach drives along a country road and comes to a stop. CAPTION: OCTOBER 1944 Fred Dawson gets off, using a cane. A man hands him his suitcase. Man: Here you are. Good luck, mate. Fred waves as the coach drives off. Later. Fred approaches Down End Farm. As he makes his way through the buildings, a dog comes running up to him, barking. He sets his suitcase down to make a fuss of her. Fred: Hello, old girl. Farmhouse. Fred steps inside, setting his suitcase down, and looks around. There's a wedding photo of him in an army uniform with his wife Rose. Kitchen. Fred lifts the lid on a pot on the stovetop, then hears Rose's laughter outside the window. Fred: Rose? He looks out of the window. Rose is working in the field. A German POW, Johann, is just lifting her young son Daniel out of a wheelbarrow. Johann: Ah, Daniel! One moment. He walks away. Inside the house, Fred moves towards the door. Outside. Daniel is watching Rose pull up leeks. Johann (offscreen): Daniel! Daniel! Daniel gets up to watch him as he does a magic trick. Johann: Schau, meine Hande sind leer. Schau, was ich gefunden hab'. He makes an egg appear from behind Daniel's ear. Rose laughs as Daniel tries to grab the egg and Johann holds it up out of reach. Behind them, Fred comes out of the house. Johann gives Daniel the egg, but he drops it. Rose: Oh, Danny. As she picks it up, she sees Daniel is looking at something and turns to follow his gaze. Rose: Fred. She stands up. Johann: Good morning. Fred: Who the hell is he? OPENING CREDITS A market in Hastings. Foyle walks between the stalls and past a pair of children playing pat-a-cake. Children: Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Pat it and prick it and cover it with a B... Cafe. Doctor Josef Novak is playing chess with another man at one of the tables. He makes a final move. Man: Oh! He chuckles and stands up to shake Novak's hand. Man: Thank you. Novak takes his glasses off and peers through the window as he sees Foyle passing outside. Radio: This is the BBC Home Service. At last, the liberation... Outside. Novak hurries out of the door as Foyle passes it. Novak: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Doctor. Novak: Has my star pupil time for a game? Foyle: Er, not now, I'm afraid. This evening, perhaps? Novak: I look forward to it. You always present a firm challenge, unlike some. Radio: And the city streets are awash.. Foyle: Have I missed anything? My wireless is on the blink. I didn't hear the news. Novak: I wasn't listening. I try to avoid a daily dose of death and destruction with my morning coffee. Foyle: Well, be all over soon. Novak: I'm afraid there are horrors still to come. They're interrupted by group of POWS who are coming down the street escorted by soldiers, singing in German. An old man spits on the ground as they pass. Man (offscreen): Get on the first bus out! Be off with you! Go on! Novak: What is this? Foyle: They just arrived. They'll be on their way to the prisoner-of-wr camp. A country field. Fifteen-year-old Tommy Crooks is running along, a bag slung over his shoulder. He stops and looks around a moment, then runs on. Dawson farmhouse. Daniel is sitting at the table. Daniel: Who's that man, Mummy? Fred is at the other end of the table. Rose lifts Daniel down from his chair. Rose: Come on, Daniel. Go to your father. Daniel looks at him for a moment, then runs off instead. Rose: Daniel! He doesn't know you yet. He'll come round. Fred: Takes after you. Rose: Does he? Fred: Can't see much Dawson in him. Rose: You should have let me know you were coming, sent me a telegram. Fred: I thought you'd think the worst when the telegram boy knocked on the door. I wanted it to be a surprise. What's the nzi doing here? Rose: Oh, he's not like that. After your dad passed on, there was no one to do the labouring, so they sent Johann from the camp. He's good with Danny. Fred: Is he, now? Rose: Fred, I'm glad you're home. Fred: I'm going to take a kip. Which bed do you want me to use? They both stand up. Rose: What? Fred: Oh, I'm, I'm dog-tired. That's all. Rose: What's wrong with your leg? He leaves the room without answering her. Police station reception area. Sam is passing by the front desk where Sergeant Brooke is on duty. Brooke: So, what do you reckon for Saturday, Miss Stewart? Portsmouth or Charlton Athletic? Sam: Are you confusing me with someone who gives two hoots? Brooke: Sorry? Sam: I thought the wr had put a stop to football and all the endless chitchat. Brooke: Not any more. It's the wr Cup on Saturday and I'm doing the Unity Pools. So, what d'you say? Draw or away win? Sam shrugs as the phone begins to ring. As Brooke goes to answer it, Milner comes through the doors behind Sam. Brooke: Sergeant Brooke. Milner (offscreen): Morning, Sam. Sam (offscreen): Morning. Brooke: Oh, hold on. I, I'll put you onto DS Milner. He holds the phone out to Milner. Brooke: It's the Met. Milner nods and comes over to take the phone, but then Brooke lifts it back to his ear. Brooke: Here, while you're on, what sort of team do you think Charlton'll put out on Saturday? Ah, you think Bartram'll play? Rose Dawson comes through the doors behind Sam with Daniel. Rose: Sam! Sam: Rose! Hello, little man! She ruffles his hair. Behind the desk, Brooke finally gives Milner the phone. Sam (offscreen): What is it? Milner lifts the phone to his ear. Milner: Hello? Rose: Fred's home. Sam: No! Ah! Foyle comes in through the doors behind them. Foyle: Morning. Sam: Morning, sir. He heads on towards his office. Milner is still speaking into the phone. Milner: Yes. And how old is the lad? Sam: Rose has wonderful news, Brookie. Her husband's come home. Brooke: Oh, good for him. Rose: Yeah, after five years. He's been a POW since Dunkirk. He managed to escape. Sam: And is he all right? Rose: He's fine. I wondered if I could borrow a dress. Foyle's office. Milner stand in the doorway speaking with Foyle. Milner: His name's Tommy Crooks. He's fifteen. He, er, works for the Post Office in London, delivering telegrams, but he's been missing for three days. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Milner: Apparently, he had a row with his father and didn't come home the next day. The woods. Tommy climbs over a wall and looks around. Foyle (voiceover): What makes them think we can help? Milner (voiceover): Well, it's a bit of a long sht, but he used to be an evacuee down here. Tommy runs through a gate towards a big old manor house. He stops as he sees vehicles parked outside and a number of people walking around. He runs towards the building, where Josef Novak is watching some nurses help a man down from a van. Tommy approaches him. Tommy: Excuse me. Novak: Yes, young man? Can I help you? Tommy: Yeah, I'm looking for Sir John and Lady Muriel. Novak: They don't live here any more. Tommy: Don't they? Novak: The house is a psychiatric clinic now. Tommy: A what? Novak: For, erm, soldiers and airmen who are sick a little in the head. Er, Sir John and Lady Muriel are staying at Dial Cottage, over that hill. He points. Tommy: Oh, I know. Thank you. Novak: Don't mention it. Tommy leaves. Peter (offscreen): Get out of my seat! Novak: Peter! Stop that! He dashes over to where one of the patients, Peter Phelps, is wrestling with another man over some lawn furniture. A pair of white-coated orderlies run in to break up the fight. Novak: Come away. Peter, Peter, leave him. Leave him. Stop, now. Peter! Peter, leave him. Leave him. The orderlies manage to separate the two men, and Novak follows the one hauling Peter away. Novak: Leave him. Leave him. Leave him, Peter. Peter, Peter, come here. He leads Peter over to a bench. Novak: Many things will aid your eventual recovery, but you will not truly recover until you say what is going on in your mind. Peter: When I close my eyes, I see... I hear... Novak: What do you hear, Peter? Who do you see? Peter: What am I going to do? Novak: I will give you something to make you sleep. And that scene just now, you attcked a fellow patient. Why? Peter: He annoys me. That's all. Novak: Peter, this is not good. volence never achieves anything. Peter laughs. Peter: That's a good one, Doctor. Where have you been these last five years? And how many people in the world have been klled while we've been sitting here having this cosy little chat? There's the sound of footsteps, and Novak looks up to see Joy Phelps approaching. Novak: Ah, here comes your charming wife. Joy: Hello, Doctor Novak. Hello, Peter. Peter ignores her. Dial Cottage. Sir John and Lady Muriel Sackville are in the kitchen. Lady Muriel: There's more smoke in here than London in the Blitz! She goes over to open a window. Lady Muriel: What on earth were you doing? Sir John: The Times crossword. Eight down was especially ticklish. Lady Muriel lifts a baking tray from the stovetop and shows him the blackened roast. Lady Muriel: That is more or less our entire meat ration for the week, you hopeless creature. Sir John: We can get more from the farm. Lady Muriel: Johnny, we can't! When are you going to understand? Everything is controlled. Rose is very kind, giving us the occasional egg. Tommy Crooks appears in the kitchen doorway. Sir John: I'm not having any more eggs. I'm constipated enough, as it is. Lady Muriel: Well, it'll have to be turnip on toast. I've nothing else. There's a clattering of pans as he sits down at the table. Sir John: God in heaven! Lady Muriel: Johnny. Sir John: What have we done to deserve this? He looks up and spots Tommy in the doorway. Sir John: Hello? Hello! Look, Mama - it's the boy. Lady Muriel: Tommy? What are you doing here? Tommy takes his coat off. Sam's lodgings. Rose is checking the dress she's wearing in the mirror. Sam (offscreen): Oh, you look just like Veronica Lake! Rose snorts. Sam: He'll love you in that. Rose: Do you think? Thanks. Sam: Are you going out? Rose: No, I'm cooking for him. He's got so thin, Sam. Sam goes to put another dress back in the wardrobe, passing Daniel, who's sitting on a nearby chair wearing Sam's uniform hat. Rose: I'll put Danny to bed early and then we can just eat and talk, like we used to. Sam: I'm so happy for you, Rose. Rose: Don't suppose you've got any lipstick. Sam: Not since my Yank chap deserted me for one of those French girls. I swear by beetroot juice, myself. Have you got any beetroot? Rose: Mmm... about six acres. Sam laughs. Rose: I'm scared, Sam. All this time we've been apart, I don't- I don't know if we'll get on. If Dan'll take to him. If he still loves me. Down End Farm. Fred watches through the curtains as Rose rides up on her bike and Johann lifts Daniel from the back. Johann: Come, my friend. He drapes Danny over his shoulder. Johann: How is your husband, Rose? Rose: Very tired. Johann: Perhaps he has a bad time in prison camp. Worse than for me. Rose: Perhaps. Johann... Johann: I will not trouble him. I will get on with work and keep quiet. Rose: Thank you. Fred watches from above as Rose briefly grasps Johann's arm. Rose: Come on, Daniel. Johann sets him down on the ground and they head towards the farmhouse. Daniel: Mummy, mummy, I'm hungry. Upstairs, Fred lowers the curtains and turns away from the window. Psychiatric hospital. Peter runs through the grounds and into a building, flattening himself against a wall and looking round as if expecting to be chased. Novak (voiceover): His mental state is becoming increasingly fragile. I'm concerned for him. Campbell (voiceover): The fracas outside. Doctor Campbell's office. A group of staff are gathered around a table, including Novak, Iain Campbell and Julian Worth. Campbell: He was quite out of control, I understand. Worth: I'm not familiar with this case. What happened to this man? Phelps, is it? Novak: He's with bmb Command. Some months ago his plane crash-landed. The crew were all burnt to death except for him. Worth: Lucky man. Novak: The plane was part of an incendiary raid over Germany which caused a fre-storm which lasted for two days. Thousands were klled, and Peter was a bmb-aimer, by the way. Worth: He did his job well, then. Novak: But a sensitive young man, with a troubled childhood. When he was nine, his twin brother died in a housefire. Worth: Fascinating case. The guilt of the survivor, three times over. It would be interesting to talk to him, with your permission, of course, Novak. But I won't have the time now. Campbell: Yes, we must congratulate our colleague on a promotion. Doctor Worth has just been appointed to a prestigious position at Cambridge. Do we need to do anything drastic about Phelps, Doctor Novak? Is he a danger to himself or anyone else? Novak: I don't believe so, but I will keep a close eye on him, of course. Outer office. Joy Phelps is working at a typewriter as Novak walks through with a nurse. Novak: It's very important that he is watched at all times. Nurse: Very well, Doctor. Joy stops typing and sighs. Novak looks round at her. Novak: Joy, are you all right? Joy: It's Peter. He's getting worse, not better. Novak: Now, listen to me. He is my patient, under my care and protection, and I am determined to help him back to health and a normal, happy life, with you beside him. Conference room. Campbell and Worth are the last two left in the room. Worth: Well, it worked. Campbell: Apparently. God help Cambridge. You've caused more trouble in the six months you've been here than a nest of vipers. Worth: You must be happy, then. Campbell: I will be when you've fulfilled your side of the bargain. Worth: All in good time, Doctor Campbell. Campbell: Now, look here... He starts to round the table, but then stops. After a moment Worth walks out. Down End Farm. Johann is sitting by the side of the road as Home Guard Ernie Pond comes cycling up. Ernie: Ready? Let's get you back to the Hotel htler, then. Rose watches from the kitchen window as Johann jogs off with him. Later. Rose peels and slices vegetables and sets a dish in the oven. Upstairs in her room, she puts on the borrowed dress and paints her lips with beetroot juice. She looks at herself in the mirror. Doctor Worth's office, psychiatric hospital. Worth looks through a folder and carries it over to set on the desk. He looks up at the door opens and Novak enters. Novak: You are leaving us so soon? Worth: The university want me to get started as soon as possible. Novak: My congratulations. I'm sorry to see you go. Worth: No, you're not. Novak: Oh, by the way, those case notes you borrowed some months ago. You never returned them. Worth: Oh, yes. Erm, quite interesting. I'll dig them out. Novak turns to leave. Dawson farmhouse. Fred is sitting at the dinner table. Rose brings over the last of the dishes and sits down opposite. Rose: You'll never guess what I made for pud. Peach cobbler! Fred: Nice. He starts to eat. Rose: It's so strange seeing you sitting there. We used to talk about you, me and Danny. Where you were. What you were doing. What was it like, Fred? Tell me. Fred: Leave it, Rose. Rose: If you can't talk to your wife, Fred... He suddenly gets up and hurries over to the sink to vomit. Fred: The food's too rich. I'm not used to it. I'm sorry. Rose: It doesn't matter. Cafe. Foyle and Novak are playing chess. Novak takes one of Foyle's pieces. Foyle: Well, that's, erm... quite ruthless. Novak looks through a psychiatric journal as he waits for Foyle to make his move. Novak: I was taught by my uncle, who was as ruthless with me as with a Grand Master. He was champion of Poland, by the way. Until the nzi's declared chess an Aryan pursuit, and Jews were banned from competition. And of course, that was just the beginning. Foyle contemplates the board, and makes a move of his own. Novak: Now, that is excellent. You are coming along tremendously. Chess is splendid, don't you think? Along with the cinema, it keeps me sane. Foyle: Not your work? Novak: The opposite. The enormity of trying to mend so many lives. All those broken souls, Mr Foyle. In the months we've known each other, played these games, you've never once asked about my history, my family. Foyle: Well, I didn't feel I could, without it being an intrusion. Novak: It is I who must intrude on you. My wife is a musician, a pianist. Chopin. I can't listen to him any more - the associations. We have a daughter. Marianka. She will be fourteen in a few days, by the way. We lived in the old family home in Lublin. In September '39, Herr htler took the opportunity of my absence at a symposium in Paris to invde my country. I couldn't get back. Does that make me a lucky man, Mr Foyle? In June '41, my family was forcibly taken from our home and placed in the ghetto. That much I know. Eighteen months later I believe they were sent to a place called Majdanek. The rest is silence. And so I fear it will remain. Foyle: Always hope, wouldn't you say? Novak: You think so? We shall see. He makes another move. Foyle: Pupils, er, should win occasionally, don't you think? He studies the board. Novak is distracted by something in the journal that he's looking at. Novak: I'll kll him! He stand up, flicking urgently through the remaining pages. Novak: I'll kll him! He looks up at Foyle. Novak: Excuse me. He hurries out. Farmhouse bedroom. Rose is in her nightgown, brushing her hair in front of the mirror. She looks round at Fred where he's just doing his pyjama top up. As he stands up, she approaches him. She goes in for a kiss, but then he yelps in pain. Rose: Sorry, sorry. Then she looks down, and sees the badly damaged state of his left foot. Rose: Oh, Fred! Fred: Frostbite. They don't reckon I'll walk properly again. Rose: Let me see. Fred: No. Look, I can't. I'll, er, I'll sleep in the spare room. She watches as he shuffles away. Psychiatric hospital, early morning. A cleaner approaches the building, humming to herself. Inside. The cleaner heads through into Doctor Worth's office with a mop and basket of cleaning supplies. Then she sees Worth lying on the floor, a Knfe sticking out of his chest. Cleaner: Doctor Worth? She gasps in horror as she looks down at him. Later. Sam drives Foyle up to the hospital building. Milner comes over to meet Foyle as they get out. Milner: Requisitioned by the Army a few months ago. They needed more space for the work they were doing here. I was planning on coming here today to talk to the owners. The missing boy, Tommy Crooks. This is where he was evacuated. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Milner: Now it looks like I'm gonna be tied up all day. Sam: I know the owners. Sir John and Lady Muriel. They're friends of my uncle's. I could have a word. Foyle: All right. He and Milner head into the building. Worth's office. The two of them study the body. The room looks as if it's been ransacked. Milner: Letter-opener. Not premeditated. The kller used what was to hand. Foyle: Wonder if they found what they were looking for. He looks around, and touches one of the papers left lying around. Foyle: Are these all his? Milner: Yes, sir. Doctor Worth was about to leave. New job. At the sound of a vehicle approaching outside, Foyle goes over to look out of the window. A van pulls up below, and Novak goes to meet the doctor who gets out. Novak: Good morning. We need your help, doctor, with the patient that's coming down now. Milner (offscreen): Shall we make our own search, sir? In case the kller didn't find what he was looking for. Foyle: Yeah. And we can take him away. And nobody in this room for the time being, yeah? Dial Cottage sitting room. Tommy is cleaning the windows, while Sir John is doing a crossword and singing along to Gilbert & Sullivan's The Mikado on the radio: ♪ I've got to take under my wing, tra-la ♪ ♪ A most unattractive old thing, tra-la ♪ ♪ With a caricature of a face, with a caricature of a face ♪ Looking out of the window, Tommy spots Sam approaching. ♪ And that's what we mean when we say or we... ♪ Tommy switches off the radio and hurries away. Sir John: Whoa there! I was enjoying that! Lady Muriel comes into the room. Lady Muriel: What's wrong? Tommy: Somebody's coming. There's a knock at the door. Worth's office. Campbell is there with Milner and Foyle. Campbell: He was a young man in a hurry. Well qualified, even better connected. I'm sure he would have gone far, if, er... Milner: Were you sorry to see him go? Campbell: With our patient numbers, I'd be sorry to lose any member of my staff. Milner: You didn't like him. Campbell: What's happened, it's a terrible thing. But Doctor Worth wasn't a person I warmed to. Foyle is walking round, and spots a copy of the journal Novak was reading. Campbell: Ambition's one thing. Arrogance another. Milner: Did he have any enemies here? Campbell: I can't say. He wasn't the most popular member of staff, but, er, nothing to justify a Knfe in the chest. Foyle is looking through the journal. Foyle: He's got an article in here, is that right? Campbell: Yes, and a fine piece of work, I must admit. I'm sure it was instrumental in getting him his new job. Foyle: Is that right? Milner: What about your patients? Could one of them have got in here? Campbell: This isn't an asylum, sergeant. We don't lock our patients up. They may have their difficulties, but they're neither mad nor bad. Dawson farmhouse, dining room. Fred uses a Knfe to make a new hole in his belt. Rose comes in from outside. Rose: Fred. You all right? Did you sleep well? Fred: Take a while, I reckon. Along with some other things. Rose: Yeah. Fred: Sorry about last night. Rose: Found your work-clothes, then? You look so small in them. Fred: I thought I'd go out. Walk the bounds. Get a feel for the old place. Rose: That's nice. She watches through the window as he heads outside and whistles for the dog. Fred: Billy! The dog runs up, barking. They head out over the fields together. Dial Cottage. Sam is at the table with Sir John while Lady Muriel irons nearby. Sam: Are you managing all right on your own? Sir John: Dear girl, we're not completely hopeless! Lady Muriel: In a way, it's enjoyable being without staff. One feels one is doing one's bit. Sam: Indeed. So, you do remember the boy? Sir John: What? Sam: Tommy Crooks. Lady Muriel: Oh, he came at the start, Samantha, with two other lads, but they didn't last. Sir John: Hopeless. One of them was light-fingered. The other wet the bed. Lady Muriel: Tommy was a nice boy. Polite, willing. Sir John: Knew nothing when he first arrived. Lady Muriel: He simply loved mucking out the animals. Sir John: Thought a sheep was a goat! What do they teach them at school? Sam: Yes. And he went back to London earlier this year? Sir John: Oh, he didn't want to. Felt at home, see. Lady Muriel: We were sorry. We became fond of him. Sir John: Run off, you say? Sam: Are you sure you haven't seen him? Sir John: Here? Why should he come here? Sam: Well, if, if he was happy, and he might have- Sir John: Well, look around if you don't believe us. Lady Muriel glances out through the window to where Tommy is hiding outside. Sam: No, that's quite all right, Sir John. I'm sure he'll turn up. Worth's office. Foyle is sitting reading Worth's journal article while Milner and a uniformed officer search the room. After a short while, Foyle sets the journal aside. Hallway. Foyle makes his way through the building, following the sound of classical music to Novak's office. He knocks on the door. Inside. Novak sighs at the interruption. Novak: Come in. Foyle enters. Foyle: Excuse me. Do you have a moment? Novak: Mr Foyle. I'm sorry. He lowers the volume on his radio. Novak: Er, how are you? Foyle: Well, I'm very well. How are you? Novak: Oh, I'm well enough. Of course, it's, it's dreadful, by the way. Foyle: Isn't it? This is, er, Doctor Worth's article. He takes the journal out of his pocket. Foyle: I was wondering what, er, there is in it that upset you so very much last night. Novak sighs. Novak: He, er, used case notes about my patients. Confidential observations about their state of mind and treatment. I loaned them to him, in good faith. Foyle: Mm-hmm. I see. 'Cause you remember what you said? Novak chuckles. Novak: Yeah. I was very angry. It was a bad thing he did. A breach of professional trust. Foyle: Some might call it theft. Novak: Oh, you think I would kll a man for that? Foyle: Well, I really don't know. Novak: Mr Foyle, I'm dealing with an urgent matter for one of my patients. It won't take long. If you could bear with me. Five minutes. I'll come and find you. Novak: Of course. Radio: And now we leave this morning's concert to go over to the news room. Novak turns the volume up. Radio: This is the ten o'clock news, and this is Frank Clacey reading it. Down End Farm. Fred is out walking with the dog. He hears Daniel laughing, and looks over the gate to the next field, where Johann is singing in German as he lifts Daniel up to sit on a piece of farm machinery. Daniel makes engine noises. After a moment, Fred turns to leave. Psychiatric hospital. Orderlies are leading Peter through the building. Peter: Where are we going? Where are you taking me? Novak's office. Radio: And that concludes this special bulletin, direct from the Eastern Front. We now return to this morning's concert. The music resumes, but Novak just sits staring at the radio. Hospital grounds. Sam is just walking in through the front gate as Doctor Novak is leaving on a bicycle. Sam: Morning, Doctor Novak. He rides on without acknowledging her. Building entrance. Joy and Campbell walk out, followed by the orderlies escorting Peter. He starts to struggle against them. Peter: No! No! No! What are you doing? They guide him into the back of the van. Orderly: Mind your head. Joy (offscreen): This is too much! They close the doors and Peter bangs against the barred windows. Joy: Peter! Peter! Campbell holds her back from running after him. Campbell: It's all right, my dear. It's all right. It's all right. Peter: No! Joy: Somebody help him! Peter (offscreen): No! Joy: Please! The van starts to drive away. Peter: No! No! Campbell still has his arms around Joy, now openly sobbing. Campbell: Now, now, now. Shh. Inside. Inside. As he guides her towards the door, Foyle and Milner are coming out. Foyle: What's happening here? Campbell: A patient's being transferred. A routine matter. Joy sobs. Campbell: My secretary, Joy Phelps. Peter's her husband. Foyle: I see. Sam comes up behind Campbell. Campbell: Can you excuse us? Foyle: Of course. Foyle: Whose patient is he? Campbell: Doctor Novak's. Surprised he isn't here to see him off. He follows Joy into the building. Sam: Doctor Novak's gone, sir. I saw him on his bicycle. He looked white as a sheet, actually. Milner: Bit odd, sir. Moving a patient, today of all days. Foyle: I think we should ask him. Novak's house. Novak rides up and gets off his bicycle. Inside. Novak enters, locking the door behind him. He's still staring into the distance as he takes off his coat and tie. He walks through into the bathroom and sits on the edge of the bath to take his shoes off, then starts the water running. Front room. Novak takes a record out of a drawer and sets it on a gramophone. Chopin's Concerto No.2, Second Movement begins to play. Novak goes back into the bathroom and picks up a straight razor. He gets into the running bath, still wearing his underclothes, and sets the razor against his inner arm. Front room. The record crackles as it keeps playing. Bathroom. Novak sets the bloody razor down and lays back in the bath. Outside. Sam pulls up in the car and Foyle and Milner get out. Bathroom. There's the sound of someone knocking. Novak closes his eyes. Outside. Milner knocks on the front door. He exchanges a look with Foyle. Milner: Doctor Novak? Foyle walks over to look through a window. Milner bends down to look in through the letterbox. Milner: I can't see anything, sir, but I can hear something. They listen to the faint music as Sam gets out of the car behind them. Milner: What is that, sir? Foyle: Chopin. He steps up and tries the door again. Foyle: We need to get in here, don't we? Milner: Yes, sir. He starts trying to force the door with his shoulder. Bathroom. Bloody water is overflowing from the tub. Outside. Milner succeeds in ramming the door open and he and Foyle head inside. Sam waits outside, looking in through the doorway. Front room. Milner spots the overflowing bath through the bathroom door, left ajar. Milner: Doctor Novak? He opens the bathroom door and then rushes in, turning off the running tap. Foyle appears in the doorway behind him, and sighs. Dawson barn. Johann, shirtless, splashes his face with water from a pail. Rose walks in with a tray of food as he's drying his face. Johann: Rose! Rose: I brought you dinner. I can't let you eat in the kitchen any more. I'm sorry. Fred- He takes the tray. Johann: Please, no. You have been so good to me. Fred enters behind Rose. Fred: What you playing at? Rose: I just brought Johann some dinner. Fred steps up and takes the tray from Johann. Fred: You're not. Rose: Fred, please. Johann: Don't you realise how his lot treated me for five years? The muck they fed us? You don't know the half. Rose: He's not stopped all day. He deserves it. Johann: And you give him egg and chips and all the trimmings. I wonder what else! Rose: What do you mean? She walks out. Fred sighs. Then he throws a chunk of bread from the tray at Johann. Fred: Here. You can have the bread. He leaves. Novak's house. Novak is being carried out on a stretcher. Foyle watches as he's taken to the ambulance. Novak groans. Novak: Could you not just let me go? Foyle: Why have you done this? Novak: It was what he said. Werth. Foyle: What's that? Novak: Werth. What he said. He's loaded into an ambulance. Village street. A bus pulls up and Morris Crooks gets out. He looks around. Country lane. Morris is walking along. He stops and takes a swig from a flask. Dial Cottage. Tommy sits at the table, listening in. Morris (offscreen): I want to see my son. Sir John (offscreen): And I tell you he's not here. Outside. The two of them are talking on the doorstep. Morris: Don't give me that. I know he is. Where else would he go, eh? Sir John: Now, listen to me, my man. It would be better for you if you left now. Morris: I'm not your man, and you can't tell me where to go. Lady Muriel comes out. Lady Muriel: What is it, darling? Who are you? Sir John: Oh, this fella. He heads back in. Morris: You know who I am. I've been down here a few times. Lady Muriel: You're the father of the Crooks boy, aren't you? Morris: That's right. And I've come to take him home, where he belongs. He starts to push his way in, but stops as Sir John comes back out with a gn. Sir John: It's loaded. Morris: What are you doing, you potty old fool? Sir John: Defending my property. Now, get out of here. Morris: You're finished, you and your kind. You wait till the wr's over! You won't be running this country no more. You mark my words. He heads off down the lane. Sir John: Oh, don't be absurd! Dawson farmhouse. Fred sits having breakfast as a cock crows. Johann walks in to the house. Johann: Excuse me. May I come in? I wish to speak with you. Fred: What do you want? Johann: You are angry with me, because of my country, and what happened to you there. Fred stands up to take his plates over to the sink. Fred: Say what you have to say and go. Johann: It does not matter for me. But for Rose, to make her so unhappy, it is not so good. Fred: Don't you tell me- Johann: You are home again. I know nothing of my family. If they are alive or dad. You are a lucky man. To have a beautiful wife and such a fine son. Fred turns his back on him. Johann: I wish... I went to the wr, like you. Gave up my life. Lost my friends. Saw bad things. Got locked up. You see, we are not so different. Fred leaves the room. Johann: Just soldiers. Novak's house. Novak sits in the armchair, wrapped in a blanket. Novak: What a failure. I could not even kll myself. Foyle sits in the chair opposite. Foyle: I'm surprised they let you home. Novak: No sympathy for civilians, foreigners and would-be suicides. And they needed the bed for more deserving cases. Foyle: Look, at some point I'm going to have to ask for your help. Erm, do you feel all right now, or shall I come back? Novak: What would you like to know? Foyle: I'd like to know why you had Peter Phelps moved. Novak: I was unable to help him. Another failure. Foyle: He was your patient? Novak: Yes. Foyle: And where did you move him to? Novak: I had him committed to a mental asylum. Foyle: Impossible to overlook that you chose to move him within hours of Doctor Worth's death. Novak: Coincidence. It does happen. Foyle: What did Doctor Worth say to you? As they were taking you to the hospital, you tried to tell me something about what he'd said to you. Novak: Did I? I can't remember. Foyle: Because, of course, it's also impossible to overlook the fact that you've attempted to kll yourself within hours of telling me you were going to kll Doctor Worth. Did you? Novak: It wasn't that he lied to me, cheated me. Rather, that he used the misery of brave and damaged men to better himself. I'm so tired. The bestiality of volence, and the horror, the horror. I don't want to be part of your brave new world. Aren't you going to arrest me? Foyle stands up. Foyle: Not just yet. Novak: Then I'd like to go back to work as soon as possible. Foyle: I can help. Later. Sam drives Novak back towards the psychiatric hospital. Novak: This is very good of you. Sam: My pleasure. We had a report about a young boy who's run away from home. We think he might be hiding down here somewhere. I was wondering what would make a child do that. Novak: Unhappiness at home, perhaps. Or school. Sam: Oh, I think he's left school. He delivers telegrams for the Post Office. They pull in through the gates of the hospital. Novak: I suppose that, every day, he delivers one of those telegrams, your missing boy. Telling a mother or a wife their son or husband is dad. The car comes to a halt. Novak: The pain he must see. How old is he? Sam: Fifteen. He was evacuated here at the start of the wr, you see? Novak: Really? He sighs. Novak: What a burden, poor child. He is a messenger of death. He gets out of the car. Dial Cottage. Tommy is chopping wood outside the cottage. Foyle's office. There's a chess board set up on a side table. Milner (offscreen): You don't think Doctor Novak klled Worth, do you, sir? Foyle: Did I say that? Milner: So, shall I go on interviewing Worth's colleagues and patients? Foyle: Yep. Milner: Despite what Doctor Novak said? Foyle: Yeah. You can also speak to Mrs Phelps. Find out where they've taken her husband and as much as you can about him. He sits down at his desk. Milner: Yes, sir. Doctor Novak does seem to be a decent man, sir. Foyle: And decent men don't kll? Milner: Not usually. Foyle: Well, quite. Psychiatric hospital. Campbell paces in his office as Joy talks to Milner at her desk outside. Joy: When Peter had his breakdown and was sent here, I came down to be near him. I had to find a job. Doctor Campbell was looking for a secretary, so... Milner: Good for everyone. Joy: Iain - Doctor Campbell - he's been very kind. Campbell walks in and gives a document to Joy. Campbell: A draft of the staff newsletter. Perhaps you could tidy it up. He nods to Milner and stays standing beside her. Milner: I understand that your husband's condition has worsened recently. Joy: He's become more... difficult. Short-tempered. I can't seem to reach him, get through to him, let alone help him. Isn't it awful? His own wife. Milner: I'm sorry. Campbell lays a comforting hand on Joy's shoulder. Milner glances at it, and then Campbell removes it. Milner: Was your husband ever violent towards you? Joy: No, no. Well, at least, only in words. Campbell: It was Doctor Novak's view that Peter was losing control somewhat and it was better that he be cared for in a more appropriate place. Milner: An asylum? Campbell: I agreed. It's not such a bad place. I'll get you the details. Police station. Sam is sitting behind the front desk with Sergeant Brooke. Brooke: You look at the fixtures, tell me what you think the results are going to be, I'll fill out the coupon in the paper, and Robert's your father's brother. Sam: But what's the point? Brooke: The point, Sam, is you might win something sizable for your bottom drawer. Sam: I haven't got any drawers. Bottom or otherwise. He starts to laugh, then she does too. Foyle walks past the two of them. Foyle: What did I miss? Brooke: Nothing, sir. In fact, you're just in time - to hand over a tenner. Foyle: What's that for? Brooke: Football pools, sir. Foyle: Right. That's really where my money should be going? There's a wr on. Brooke: Well, it's nearly over, Mr Foyle. Sam: Call it an exercise in staff morale, with the station closing and everything. Foyle hands him the money. Foyle: Right. Sam: Leaving? Foyle: Yep. Milner is just arriving as they both head out. Foyle stops to speak with him. Foyle: How'd you get on? Milner: I spoke to Mrs Phelps, sir. She's very cut up about her husband being put away. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Milner hands him a sheet of paper. Foyle: What's, er- is this where he is? Milner: Yes, sir. But she looked almost guilty about it. I rather got the impression that there might be something between her and Doctor Campbell. Foyle: Ah. How does that help, I wonder? As he leaves, Morris Crooks is coming in. Brooke: Come on, Milner. He waves the pools coupon at him. Brooke: Put your hand in your pocket. Milner: Ah. Brooke: Ooh. He claps as if to swat an insect. Brooke: See all the moths flying out? Milner chuckles and hands over some coins. Brooke: Thank you. He goes to put the money away, then spots Morris waiting at the desk. Morris: When you've quite finished. I want to make a complaint. Meeting room. Morris sits opposite Milner. Morris: Look, I just wanna know he's safe. I know he come running back up here. Yeah, that's why I went to see the landed gentry. Milner: And caused a right old to-do, by the sound of it. Morris: He was the one with the gn! I want him charged, by the way. thrat behaviour. Milner: What happened, before Tommy ran away? Morris: We had words. He was supposed to bring in something for the tea, but he forgot, so I had a go at him. He started creating, and... I gave him a wallop. I wish I hadn't, but, er, but I did. Country lane. Ernie Pond is riding along on his bike and comes to a halt. He sees Fred Dawson in the graveyard of the church opposite, and goes over to join him. Fred: I keep thinking he's just away at the market He's standing in front of a gravestone for Mary and Albert Dawson. Fred: Or in Hastings. He'll be back soon. Ernie: wore him out, son. Running the place on his own. Got too much for him. Fred: And I wasn't here. Ernie: You were doing your bit. He was proud of you. Fred: Nothing to be proud of. Second day in action, they took me. Didn't even get to kll one of the bastards. He walks away from the gravestone. Fred: You come for him, then? Ernie: Yep. Fred: I'll, er, walk back with you. Johann is sitting waiting by the side of the road. Johann: Rose! He stands up. Rose comes over with a basket. Rose: I made you a rabbit pie. And a plum cake. She pulls a knitted jumper out of the basket as well. Johann: What is this? Rose: I made it for Fred coming home, but it's too big for him now. I want you to have it. Johann: Rose? Rose: I'll write to the Agricultural Committee. They'll talk to the camp commander, find you another place. Johann: Please, look at me. You're sending me away? She nods. Rose: I don't know what we're gonna do, but you can't stay, and that's a fact. Johann: Rose, I- Rose: Don't. Please. Johann: Don't be upset. Everything will be okay. I will miss you. Rose: I'll miss you too, Johann. She gives him a hug just as Fred and Ernie are arriving. Fred stops walking. Ernie: Now, Fred. Fred: Oi, you! Get your hands off her! Rose: Fred. Fred grabs hold of Johann and then punches him. Fred: You bloody nzi! Rose: Don't! As the two of them wrestle, Ernie hurries over to stand his bike against the wall. Johann tries to restrain Fred. Johann: Stop this, or I will hurt you! Daniel comes walking up behind a nearby fence, watching the fight. Fred manages to break free and elbows Johann in the gut. Ernie: Fred, stop it! Rose: Fred! Ernie: That's enough, now! Stop it, Fred. Johann pins Fred down on the ground. Ernie: Fred, you stop it! That's enough! Johann lets Fred go and stands up, raising his hands. Ernie gestures at him. Ernie: You, get going. He grabs Fred by the collar. Ernie: Leave off, Fred! Fred: You come back here, and I'll kll you! Johann starts walking away. Fred Fred: Inside. I wanna talk to you. Fred starts pulling Rose with him towards the house. Rose: Let go, you're hurting me! Johann turns back. Johann: Rose! Ernie: Leave it. Get walking. He gives Johann a shove. The two of them leave. Farmhouse. Rose follows Fred inside and shuts the door behind them. Daniel stands inside the door, watching them. Fred grabs Rose by the arm. Fred: Oh, no! He's had you, hasn't he? He's been in my bed and my wife. She pulls away from him. Rose: Don't be disgusting. He raises his hand as if to strike her, then pulls back. She gasps. Rose: That's right. You're too weak to take it out on him, so you belt your wife instead. She starts to cry. Fred turns away and Rose grabs Daniel, taking him upstairs. Behind them Fred grabs a bottle of Scotch and sits down at the table with it. Asylum. An orderly leads Foyle into a padded room where Peter is lying curled up on the bed. Foyle: Mr Phelps? Peter? Erm, my name is Foyle. D'you remember Doctor Worth? Peter whimpers to himself. Foyle: D'you know who I mean? What did you see? Peter opens his eyes. Peter: I saw the blood. I saw the blood. Foyle: What else did you see? Peter: I saw the blood. He whimpers to himself again. Orderly: It's all right. It's all right, Peter. He gestures Foyle towards the door, and lets him out. Woods. Tommy Crooks runs through the trees towards a pond with a fishing rod. He stops as he sees Doctor Novak sitting by the water. Novak: Hello. Tommy: Hello. Novak: You found Sir John and Lady Muriel, then? And now you're catching their supper. Tommy: If I get lucky. You a doctor, then? Novak: Yes. Tommy: How do you make people better when they've gone a bit barmy? Novak: Often people get better just by talking about the things that have upset them. Tommy: You a Jerry? Novak: No. Tommy: I hate the Jerries, don't you? Novak: Why did you run away, Tommy? Tommy: This woman in Bethnal Green. Took her a telegram. Found her in the back yard, beating this old rug on the washing line. She looks at it, hands it back and asks me to read it for her. Her husband, he was in the Navy. His ship had been sunk, he- And she just starts screaming. You know, lays into me with the beater, going, "Get away! Get away, you little bastard!" And why'd she do that? I don't get it. Why'd she do that? Novak stands up. Novak: Tommy. This lady was out of her mind with sorrow. When people lose their loved... She lashed out at you just because you were there. If she were here now, she would want to hold you and say sorry to you. This wasn't your fault. Tommy: No? Novak: No. Tommy: Okay. Thanks. He turns towards the water with his fishing rod. Novak: Your family will be worried. They should know you are safe. We should tell the police where you are, by the way. Tommy: I'm not going back to London. Staying here. Nothing bad ever happens here. Farmhouse. Fred is slumped over the table, drunk. Rose comes down from upstairs carrying a sleeping Daniel, and lets herself out the front door. Outside. Rose wheels her bike out to the road with Daniel sitting in a basket on the back. She climbs on it and rides away. POW camp bunk room. A group of German POWs are tossing a ball around. A bell rings and the game breaks up. Johann is sitting on one of the bunks by himself. POW: Johann, kommst du mit zum Essen? Johann: Nein, ich bin nicht hungrig. The others leave. Johann sighs. He picks up his back and takes out the jumper that Rose made for him. He brings it up to his face and smells it, then sighs again. Police station reception area. Sam is sitting in the waiting area as Foyle comes out from the back. She stands up. Sam: All right, sir? Foyle: Er, listen, it's been quite a day. I'm gonna walk. You go home. Sam: Goodnight, sir. Foyle: Goodnight. Brooke (offscreen): Night, sir. Foyle leaves. Ruby Cinema, evening. Foyle walks past a group of people lined up waiting to go in. Doctor Novak is one of them. Novak: Mr Foyle! Foyle: Doctor. Novak: Will you join me? It's the new Bing Crosby. Foyle: Er, not quite my cup of tea, frankly. Novak: Ah, sentimental music, Mr Foyle. It always touches me. Foyle: You're looking a great deal better. Novak: I did something useful today. Maybe there is a point, after all. Ah, curtain up. The queue starts to move inside. Novak: I found the boy, Tommy. He's with the Sackvilles. Foyle: Right. Goodnight. Novak: Au revoir. He waves to Foyle and heads into the cinema. Sam's lodgings. Rose walks up with Daniel and knocks on the door. Sam answers it. Sam: Oh, Rose. Inside. Sam follows the two of them in. Rose: I'm sorry about this. Sam: Whatever's the matter? POW camp, night. A man empties a dustbin into the back of a dustcart, then heads into the building. Johann looks around the side of the building to make sure he's gone, then hurries over to climb into the dustcart. A moment later, the man comes back with another dustbin. He whistles as he empties it into the back. Front gate. The guard lifts the barrier to let the dustcart drive out. Woods. As the dustcart slowly drives along, Johann jumps out of the back. The driver keeps going, and Johann hurries away. Daylight. A manhunt is underway, police and dog-handlers spread out across a field. Tommy watches from the underbrush nearby. Man (offscreen): Slow down a bit. Keep going. Steady! As they approach Tommy turns to leave. Country lane. Rose is riding her bike with Daniel. She stops and she sees a military vehicle stop ahead and men with rfles jump out of the back with another dog. As she watches them, Sam comes driving up and stops beside her. Rose: You left early. What's going on, Sam? Sam: Oh, one of the POWs escaped from the camp. Rose: Really? Sam: It's Johann, Rose. Rose: Johann? Why would he have done that? Sam: He got away last night. You all right? Listen, I've got to get to work. I'm sorry. Already late. She drives on. POW camp. Loudspeaker: Achtung! Achtung! The announcement continues in the background as Ernie leads Milner through the empty bunk room. Ernie: Never had a minute's bother with him. Did what he was told. Got on with his work. Wish they were all like him. Milner: Why d'you think he cleared off? Ernie: I... don't rightly know. Milner: He's not daft enough to try getting back to Germany, is he? Do his bit, now their backs are against the wall? Ernie: Oh, what's he gonna do? Swim the Channel? Doesn't make sense, does it? Anyway, he's not that kind of lad. Milner: No nzi, you mean? Ernie: Well, told me he hates soldiering. He's a farm boy. Likes animals. Milner: Was he his usual self yesterday afternoon? Nothing out of the ordinary? Ernie: Just a normal day. Took him to the farm in the morning, brought him back in the evening. Milner: And everything was all right? Ernie: Yeah. I don't understand it. I mean, he- I think he was happy here. You know? Dial Cottage. Sir John is digging in the vegetable garden. He sets the fork down with a sigh. Sir John: Damn and blast! There's got to be a few here somewhere. He starts shaking a garden sieve. Sam comes up behind him. Sir John: Ah! He plucks something out of the sieve. Sir John: Oh. Then he notices Sam. Sir John: Are you spying on me, girl? Sam: Couldn't Tommy do that for you, Sir John? I know he's here. Sir John: No, he's not. Sam: He was seen. Someone spoke to him not far from here. Sir John: You misunderstand me. He was here, but he is no longer. Sam: I don't understand. Sir John: He went out fishing. Something for the supper. He never came home. We haven't seen him since. Cut to Tommy running through the trees as dogs bark in the distance. Sir John (voiceover): We're worried about him. Keep hoping he's going to come through the door with a nice, fat trout. Tommy stops to rest against a tree, looking back at the search party, then runs on. Farmhouse. Rose enters to find Fred still asleep at the table, the Scotch bottle now almost empty. She looks around the room a moment, then backs out again, pulling the door closed after her. Outside. Rose walks over to the barn with Daniel. She leaves him at the doorway as she goes in. Rose: Johann? Johann? Outside. Rose walks through the fields with Daniel. Man (offscreen): Steady! Straight. They see the search party in the adjacent field. Man: Move forward on the left. Daniel: Where's Johann, Mummy? Rose: Come on. Let's go down to the lake. See if the ducks are there. They walk through the trees together. Daniel runs on ahead. Rose: Be careful, Daniel. It's dangerous down. Daniel: What's that, Mummy? Rose: What? She catches up to him. Daniel: Down there, look. She puts her hand on his shoulder as she sees Johann's body floating in the water. Later. Foyle, Milner and Ernie Pond watch as a couple of men in waders bring the body back to shore. Ernie: That's him. Milner bends down to look at the body. Milner: Sir, there's something on the back of the head. A wound. Rose is standing up on the top of the bank with Daniel and Sam. She takes hold of Daniel to lead him away. Foyle (offscreen): How's that happened, do you think? Milner: Well, he could have fallen. Trying to get away, stumbling along in the dark. Foyle: Full moon last night, wasn't it? Milner nods. Milner: Or he was ht. He is a German, after all. That's enough motive for some. Ernie is listening to this, looking concerned. Down End Farm. Fred sticks his head under an outside water pump. As he reaches for a towel he sees Rose and Daniel returning. Fred: Rose? Rose: Go and play, Daniel. She sends him off into the field and walks over to join Fred. Fred: Where you been? I've been worried. Rose is tearful. Rose: Johann's dad. Fred: What? Rose: In the lake. His head. Behind them, Daniel picks up a toy plane and starts making aeroplane noises. Fred: He got out of the camp? Rose: Did you see him here? Did he come here last night? Fred: No. I don't know. I... Daniel is still making noises and Rose turns to snap at him. Rose: Daniel, will you stop doing that now? Daniel falls silent. Rose: You'd better pull yourself together. The police'll be here soon. She walks away. Sam and Foyle are driving along a country lane. Foyle: Did you find the boy, by the way, at the Sackvilles'? Sam: Tommy Crooks? No, sir. He didn't come home from a fishing trip. They don't know where he is. Foyle gives her a sidelong look, and after a moment she speaks up. Sam: I wouldn't normally, but under the circumstances, I, I feel I ought to tell you. Mrs Dawson spent the night with me last night. She turned up at my doorstep, very upset. She and her husband had an argument, about Johann Schultz. They arrive at the farm. Foyle: I see. Sam drives up to the buildings. Farmhouse. Foyle: So, he, erm, left here at the usual time yesterday? Rose is sitting at the table. Rose: Yes. Foyle: And that was the last you saw of him? She nods. Fred is sitting in an armchair behind Foyle. Foyle: Because where his body was found suggests that he was either on his way here or... coming back from here. But, erm, you couldn't confirm that? Rose: No. Foyle: No. But I gather you weren't here last night. Rose: I stayed with Sam. Foyle: Any particular reason for that? Rose: I had some shopping to do in town. I didn't want to cycle back in the blackout. Foyle: Mm-hmm. He's silent for a few moments, then turns to Fred. Foyle: What about you, Mr Dawson? Fred: What about me? Foyle: Er, were you here last night? Fred: Yeah. I was here all night. I had a bit to drink. I fell asleep. I didn't see him. Foyle: How difficult was it, er, coming back home, after five years in a prisoner-of-wr camp, to find a German working on your farm? Fred: Yeah, well, he did his job. Foyle: Impossible not to understand whatever resentment you might have felt, in the circumstances. Fred: So, I didn't like him. Not a crime, is it? We're fighting the bastards, for God's sake. But I didn't kll him, if that's what you're thinking. Foyle: Mm-hmm. He turns back to Rose. Foyle: How did you get on with him? Rose: He was a lovely boy. I'm so sad he's dad. I, I don't know how I'm going to explain it to my son. He adored him. Psychiatric hospital. Sam and Foyle drive up and park outside. As Foyle gets out and heads in, Tommy watches them from the bushes nearby. Inside. Foyle lets himself in through a door into the outer office beyond Campbell's. Joy (offscreen): To think of him shut away in that place - it's unbearable to me. Campbell (offscreen): It has to be that way. You know that. Foyle pauses outside Campbell's office door, left ajar. Inside. Joy: Hold me. Kiss me. Outside. Foyle loudly turns the handle to enter. The two of them break apart from their kiss, and Joy turns away. Campbell: Chief Superintendent. Foyle: Do beg your pardon. Should have knocked. I'll come back. He moves as if to go, then steps back in. Foyle: Mrs Phelps. I've been to the asylum to see your husband. Have you? Joy: How is he? Foyle: He's in a very bad way. She walks out past him. Campbell: Joy... Mrs Phelps is under great strain. She needs a great deal of support. Foyle: Yeah, I can see. How's, er, Doctor Novak, by the way, since he's been back at work? Campbell: I wanted him to take more time off. I'm concerned about him. Foyle: Mm-hmm. What do you make of him, er, claiming responsibility for Doctor Worth's death? Campbell: Josef's a good man. Compassionate, kind. But who knows what men are capable of when pushed to the limit? It may seem a truism, Mr Foyle, but all of mankind's most impenetrable secrets lie inside the head. Novak's office. He's sitting in the armchair next to the desk, and looks up at the sound of a knock. Foyle walks in. Foyle: Disturbing you? You don't look very well. Novak: Do you know this definition of a psychiatrist? A person trained at length and great expense to help other persons go mad. Foyle smiles. Foyle: Perhaps I shouldn't be asking you for your help, then. In spite of you having seen him, the boy seems to have gone missing again. Novak: Odd. Why should he do that? Foyle: And it seems that, er, you were the last to see him. How was he? Novak: Calm. We had a good talk. There was a distressing incident at work. That's why he ran away. Foyle: And where did you see him? Novak: He was at the pond, fishing, quite happily. Foyle: Mm-hmm. I should also mention that I've been to see, er, Peter Phelps. Novak stands up and goes to his desk. Novak: I've told you who klled that shabby little man, Worth. Foyle: Yes, well. I'd say you didn't have it in you to kll. Novak: I think you're allowing friendship to interfere with the prosecution of your job. Foyle: Never has before. Novak: I'd also say you're ignoring the lessons of recent history. Think of all those men who led such unremarkable lives till '39. We gave them a uniform, a gn and a mandate. "kll," we said. And they have, unblinkingly, in vast numbers. Police station reception area. Brooke stands up as Sam and Foyle walk in. Brooke: Mr Foyle, I sent off the coupon. Foyle: Excellent. What coupon's that? Brooke: From the paper. The football pools. The wr Cup. They're playing tomorrow. Foyle: Wonderful. He moves to walk away. Brooke: I must say, I had to laugh when I saw your line. Foyle: Well, filled in solely with your amusement in mind, sergeant. Brooke: Well, Port Vale have as much chance of getting a draw at Arsenal as I have of winning the Derby on a seaside donkey. Foyle: Right. Brooke: My, my! What, what system did you use, sir? Foyle: I used the random system, Sergeant. Brooke: But you can't do that, sir. No, you have to look at the teams. You work out which is better and how, and then you decide. That's how you win. Foyle: Well, science, never my strong point. He heads through towards his office. Brooke: Well, we'll see which comes out on top, shall we, sir? Science or chance. Foyle: We will. Milner steps out from his office behind Foyle. Milner: Sir, we've had the MO's report on Johann Schultz. Foyle: Ah, right. The two of them walk into Foyle's office. Sam and Brooke watch them go. Sam: Port Vale. What a lovely name. It sounds such a peaceful place. Where is it, exactly? Brooke: Somewhere up north. Foyle's office. Milner closes the door behind them. Milner: He can't say exactly what caused the head injury. There were fragments of stone in the wound, but whether they're the result of a fall or a blow, he can't say. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Milner: However, he did find something else. There was no water in his lungs. He didn't drown. He was dad before he went into the lake. Foyle: Right. Later. The two of them are speaking with Ernie Pond in a meeting room. Ernie: Someone klled him? Milner: Looks like it, yes. Ernie: Jesus! That's- He sits down. Ernie: Oh, I need a smoke. Milner: You liked him, didn't you? Ernie: Bloody hell. He lights a cigarette. Milner: What happened between Fred Dawson and Johann yesterday? Ernie: Nothing happened. He thought there was something going on between Johann and Rose. Yesterday afternoon, it all blew up. Bit of a fight. Nothing much. Fred was no match for Johann. I took him away. Fred and Rose had things to sort out. Milner: When Johann escaped, do you think it was to go back to Down End Farm? Ernie: I dunno. Maybe he was worried about Rose. She was... kind to him. Foyle: Fred... very angry yesterday? Ernie: A bit. Foyle: How angry? Ernie: Look, it's not going to be me that puts the noose round Fred's neck. Just for klling a Jerry. Foyle: But if he'd, er, done or said anything he perhaps shouldn't have, you'd tell us, wouldn't you? Ernie: Course. Foyle: And you'd tell us because, er, German or not, whether you liked him or not, this man's been beaten to death and that's wrong. You'd agree? Ernie: Yes. Foyle: Mm-hmm. How angry? Ernie: He said, if he ever came back to the farm again, he'd kll him. There. I've said it. God forgive me. Dawson farmhouse. Fred stands up from the table. Fred: I'm under arrest? Milner and Sam are both there, as is Rose. Milner: There are questions you need to answer about the death of Johann Schultz. Rose: Oh, Fred. Milner: Please, if you'll come with us. He and Fred leave. Rose: Oh, Sam. Sam: I know. It's going to be all right, Rose. Rose: What if he did it? Police interview room. Fred: I'm telling you, I never saw him again. I downed half a bottle of Scotch and passed out. I didn't wake till first light. Foyle stands opposite him at the table. Foyle: Well, all of that's fine, of course, except that nobody can vouch for it. You were on your own. Fred: Yes. Foyle: What can be vouched for is your attck on Mr Schultz. Fred: No, that's- Foyle: The reason for your attck on Mr Schultz. Fred: I was angry with him, I admit that. Foyle: And your thrat to kll Mr Schultz if he ever stepped foot on the farm again. Fred: I didn't mean it! Foyle: So, you'd understand that, on the face of it, it looks to us as if that's precisely what happened. Fred: I didn't mean it. It was just one of those things you say! He pants for breath for a moment, calming down. Fred: It was just one of those things you say. Fred: I didn't kll him. And if he came back, I didn't see him. Front desk. Brooke is on duty as Foyle comes out from the back. Foyle: Sergeant. Look after Mr Dawson in there for a moment, would you, for a moment? Brooke: Sir. Morris Crookes steps into the reception area just as the two of them leave. As Foyle is heading back to his office, a radio is playing in the break room. Radio: This is the BBC Home Services network. Foyle stops to listen. Radio: We now bring you a further dispatch from our Moscow correspondent, Alexander Werth. Foyle walks through into the break room. Radio: Who was with the Red Army when it liberated the nzi concentration camp at Majdanek in Eastern Poland. Werth (radio): Nothing in my experience could have prepared me for the image that greeted us on our arrival earlier today. Row upon row of drab huts, containing horrors that defy imagination, that were nevertheless arranged in front of us like some scene from hell. Milner's office. Morris Crookes walks in and Milner closes the door behind them. Morris: I just wondered if there was any news on my lad. Milner: He was staying with the old couple, after all, but he's gone. Morris: Well, where's he gone? Milner: You haven't seen him? Morris: No. Milner: Well, if he's not with you, and he's not with them... He shrugs. Morris: Run off again? I dunno what's wrong with that lad. I mean, I dunno what to say to him. He sits down. Morris: Jeannie would have known. She'd have got through to him. She was good at that. Milner: Your wife? She's passed away? Morris: Last July. Just after Tommy came home. She was in a baker's on the Commercial Road, getting a loaf for his sandwiches. Doodlebug. klled everyone in the place. Milner: I'm sorry. Morris: Tommy, he was the first one there. You know, what he must have seen, it doesn't bear thinking about. But he never cried. Always said he didn't want the wr to end, so he could join up and get his own back. Milner: Revenge, you mean? Morris: Oh, yeah. Hates them, he does. I don't know what he'd do if he met a Jerry in the street. Foyle's office. Foyle is at the desk looking through a stack of newspapers as Milner speaks to him. Milner: We know that Tommy was out and about the day that Schultz escaped. Doctor Novak saw him barely half a mile from the lake, so it gives him an opportunity, as well as a motive. Foyle stands up, but still keeps looking through the papers. Foyle: And, er, how old is he? Milner: He's fifteen, but he's a big lad for his age. Foyle: Mmm? Milner: And now he's disappeared. At first I thought it was a coincidence, but now I'm not so sure. Foyle lifts one of the newspapers to reveal an article about the concentration camp. He start to walk around his desk to leave. Foyle: Well, obviously, the sooner we find him the better. The telephone rings. Foyle: Will you get that? Milner picks up the phone. Milner: Hello? He looks at the article open on the desk as he listens. Milner: Yes. Yes, he's here. He holds the phone out to Foyle. Milner: It's the gentleman from the BBC you were after, sir. Foyle comes back to the desk to take the phone. Ruby Cinema. Foyle walks into the building and approaches a member of staff. Foyle: Good afternoon. May I speak to the manager, please? Woman: Yes, of course. As she leaves, Foyle turns and looks at the posters on the wall. Police station reception area. Sam stands with Brooke at the desk. Sam: He's gone to the pictures? Brooke: Yeah, I'm sure there's method in his madness. Sam: I wonder what's on. Foyle walks through the doors behind them. He heads through into the back without seeming to notice either of them. Milner is just coming out of his office, dressed to leave. Sam: Sir? Foyle turns and she points towards the door. Sam: Er...? She clears her throat. Foyle looks around for a moment, then turns back to walk out again. Foyle: Right. Psychiatric hospital. Sam, Foyle and Milner pull up outside in the car. They all get out. Sam: Sir, how long do you think you're going to be? Foyle: About an hour. Milner: Last look around, before we hand back the keys. Sam: Well, I was thinking about Tommy. If I was in trouble, where would I hide? And he lived here for four years. Had the run of the place. He knew it better than anybody. I was wondering, could I take a look? Foyle: Do. Worth's office. Foyle and Milner walk into the room. Foyle: And nobody's been in here, right? Milner: Er, no, sir, apart from me and one of our men, when we were doing the search. Foyle: Find anything? Milner: Not really. Campbell appears in the doorway. Campbell: Ah, you're back. Have you finished in here yet? Foyle: Almost. Campbell: Good. We're desperately short of space. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Campbell nods and leaves. Foyle looks at Milner. Foyle: What does "not really" mean? Staircase. Sam climbs a set of stairs elsewhere in the building. Worth's office. Milner picks up a file folder. Milner: There's a copy of a letter. A reference from Doctor Campbell in support of Worth's job application. Doesn't quite tally with what Campbell said about him. He hands it to Foyle. Milner: Perhaps he was just desperate to get rid of him. Upper floor. Sam looks around. A nurse walks past her carrying a tray. Worth's office. Foyle: That it? He hands the letter back. Milner: Yes, sir. We've been through all the packing cases, his desk, the rest of the furniture. Pictures off the walls, rugs off the floor. Up the chimney. Foyle, turning to look around the room, stops and focuses on something on the mantelpiece. Milner: The only thing we haven't done is lift the floorboards. Maybe the mrder found what he was looking for, after all. Foyle approaches the mantelpiece, where there's a bust marked up with the areas of the brain. He turns it around, then lifts it up. The fabric covering the base is loose. Foyle: Where do, er, all of mankind's impenetrable secrets lie, Milner? He pulls an envelope out from inside the bust. Milner: Sorry, sir? Foyle unfolds the envelope, and sees it's labelled 'Joy Phelps'. He pulls out the folded papers inside. Upper floor. Sam is still searching. She opens a door onto another set of stairs and climbs them up to the attic. She goes over to the window to look out. Campbell's office. Campbell is just leaving the room as Milner arrives. Milner: Ah, sir. We've finished with Doctor Worth's study. Campbell: Ah, good. Milner hands over the keys. Milner: Compliments of DCS Foyle. Campbell: Thank you. Attic. Walking around, Sam finds a mattress and bedding with a candle beside it. She hears a door creak somewhere nearby. Sam: Hello? Tommy? Is that you? She sees Tommy run past in the next section of the attic, and hurries after him. Outside. Milner is walking back towards the car. He hears a clatter and looks up to see Tommy standing on the roof. Tommy runs along the rooftop. Attic. Sam hears a noise from above. Outside. Milner starts walking back towards the building. Worth's office. Campbell unlocks the door and opens it. Rooftop. Sam climbs out of a window onto the roof. Tommy stands up from where he's crouched nearby. Tommy: Stay away. Sam: Are you all right? Tommy: Leave me alone. Sam: Look, I'm here to help you. Milner looks out through the window behind her. Milner: Sam? Sam: Please, Tommy. Milner climbs out to join them. Milner: No one's going to hurt you. Why did you run away, Tommy? Tommy: I'm saying nothing. Milner: Er, you met the German, didn't you? By the lake. Were you thinking about what happened to your mum? Tommy: No! Don't come any closer. He climbs onto the edge of the roof. Milner: Careful! Tommy: I'll jump! I'm not scared. Worth's office. Foyle approaches the door and opens it to find Campbell searching the room. Foyle: Ah. He holds up the envelope. Foyle: Looking for this? Rooftop. Tommy is still sitting on the edge of the roof. Milner: Tell us what happened, Tommy. I promise you it'll be for the best. Sam: We know you didn't kll that man. But you must have seen something. Tommy: I was trying my luck at the lake. I got nothing in the pond. Milner: Go on. Tommy: Two men, I heard them talking on the path above the lake. Then him, the one who fell, he walked on, but the other man, he picks something up and he runs after the other bloke and he ht him over the head, like really hard, like this. And then... Like, did you say his name was Johann? Sam and Milner both nod. Tommy: Is he really a Jerry? Sam: He was a prisoner of wr. Tommy: See, I never knew that. That he was German. Milner: Then what happened? Tommy: He fell down. The other man bent down to look at him, and he put his head in his hands, like this. Then he rolled him into the lake. Not twenty yards away from where I was standing. Sam: Who was it, Tommy? Who klled Johann? Tommy just shakes his head. Worth's office. Campbell sits down. Campbell: "Affair" makes it sound so grubby. And that's not how it was. But Worth was a nasty little shit. He said something to me about Joy. A lewd remark. I snapped at him. And he laughed. He knew. And I made the mistake of writing to Joy. An affectionate letter. I put it in the post tray in the staff sitting room. Worth took it, and he used it. If it ever got out - the wife of a patient - I'd have been ruined. And poor Joy. He forced me to write a glowing reference for his job application. I did it on condition I got the letter back. And he broke his word. Said he'd keep it as insurance. And he smiled. He never should have smiled. There's the sound of the door opening. Joy (offscreen): Iain? She steps in and sees the two of them. Joy: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr Foyle. Campbell: I must make it clear that Joy knows nothing of this. She thinks her husband klled Worth. Joy: What is it? What's... Is everything all right? What's going on? Foyle: I'll leave you for a few minutes. He walks out, closing the door behind him. Joy looks at Campbell expectantly. Cafe. Foyle approaches the building and walks in. Novak is setting up a chessboard, and waves at the sight of him. One of the waitresses comes over to take Foyle's hat and coat. Waitress: Mr Foyle? Later. Foyle and Novak are in the middle of a chess game. Foyle sits contemplating the board. Novak: You're quiet today, even by your standards. Foyle: Well, I know I've got to make a better show of this than I did last time. He makes a move. Foyle: Check. Novak: I'm surprised you have the time, given everything that's on your plate. Glad, of course, but, er... Foyle: And I'm also wondering how I'm going to tell you. Novak: Tell me what? Foyle: Well, firstly, we now know who klled Doctor Worth. And I'm relieved to be able to tell you that it wasn't you. Novak: Wasn't it? Foyle: Though I do now perhaps understand why it is that you tried to take the blame. Novak: It was Peter, wasn't it? Foyle: Well, I'd be very interested to hear why you're so convinced it was. Novak: Because when I went to Worth's study that night, Peter was there. Flashback to Peter, kneeling over Worth's body, his hands covered in blood. Novak walks in and sees him. Novak (voiceover): Kneeling over the corpse. Blood on his hands. Completely gone. What was he doing there? Cut back to the cafe. Novak: I felt desperate that I hadn't been able to help him, that it was my fault. Of, of course it was Peter. Foyle: It was Campbell. Novak: But why? I don't understand. Foyle: Worth was blackmailing him because of his relationship with Peter's wife. But this, none of this, Worth's mrder or your belief that Peter was responsible for it, is the reason why you tried to take your own life, is it? And it wasn't until today that I realised that it wasn't even what Doctor Worth had said to you... Flashback to Novak being loaded into the ambulance. Novak: It was what he said. Werth. Foyle: What's that? Cut back to the cafe. Foyle: But what the BBC correspondent, Alexander Werth, had said in his report from Majdanek. First broadcast, according to the BBC, the morning I came to see you in your office, describing the unimaginable horror that had been uncovered there. Novak: No, the point is, someone did imagine it and then made it a reality. For my family, amongst countless others. I was wrong to try to take my life. We must carry on, however bleak the future seems, however impossible it is to face it. And I was wrong to take the blame for Worth's death. But when I came to myself in hospital, it seemed I had betrayed my mrder family. I was alive and they were dad. It was the guilt of the survivor, and I had to take the blame for something. I had to find a reason for my existence. And if I could help Peter in any way, help give him time to recover... He starts to tear up. Novak: I'm sorry. I had news today. From my contacts in Poland. There were very few survivors in Majdanek, but... among them, it seems, my daughter Marianka... it seems she is alive. Foyle: I'm very pleased to hear it. Novak: You have been a good friend to me, Christopher, at a most difficult time in my life. Foyle: Well, the occasional game of chess, Josef. It's not very much. Novak: You listen. You understand. I am so grateful. But I think I have taught you too well. You have beaten me here for the first time! If you'll excuse me, I think I should get back to work. He starts to stand up. Foyle: And secondly... How was the film the other night? Novak: Bing Crosby? Oh. Silly and sentimental and quite wonderful. Foyle: The print for that film didn't arrive. They showed Abbott and Costello, instead. Novak slowly sits back down. Foyle: They also showed Pathé News. And the report from Majdanek was unbearable. Novak: Legs. Sticking in the air, stiff with death. Foyle: I couldn't watch it all. You couldn't, either, could you? Flashback to Novak walking through the woods in the dark. Novak (voiceover): I left. I don't know where I went. I have no memory of anything. Cut back to the cafe. Novak: Until... Foyle: You met Johann. Novak: He came out of nowhere. Flashback to Johann running through the woods. He crashes into Novak from behind and both of them go sprawling. Johann gets up again as Novak rolls over. Novak (voiceover): I looked up. I saw this face. Johann: Aus dem Weg! Novak (voiceover): Out of my way. Johann: Dummkopf. He starts to walk on. Novak (voiceover): I saw this uniform, and this rage went through me like a fre. Novak takes hold of a rock from the ground beside him. Novak (voiceover): I picked up a rock and... He comes up behind Johann and hits him over the back of the head with the rock. Cut back to cafe. Novak: A moment. That's all it took. Flashback to Novak rolling Johann's body down into the lake. Novak (voiceover): But it will define my entire life. Cut back to cafe. Novak: I klled a man. A boy. Foyle: Perhaps the circumstances... Novak: No, they offer no excuse. We're all tainted by this wr, Christopher, in one way or another, but not everyone commits mrder. Foyle: Perhaps hearing him speak German? Novak: Perhaps. Or perhaps it was because he was up there. And I was down there in the gutter, where all Jews belong. I had this evil taste in my mouth. I spat it out. That's all. I became the enemy. It's strange. I... am a rational being. I am a scientist. I believe in free will, and yet I cannot escape the fact that the most important events of my life have been dictated by chance. I met my wife on a train I nearly missed. I evaded death at Majdanek because I was at a symposium in Paris. And I klled a man because I like Bing Crosby and you do not. If you had been there... Foyle: I'm sorry. Novak: How did you know? Foyle: By chance, you were seen. Flashback to Novak throwing the rock into the lake. Novak (voiceover): Who? Foyle (voiceover): By a troubled boy, to whom you offered help. Nearby, Tommy stands with his fishing rod. Cut back to cafe. Novak: Oh. Poor Tommy. Dial Cottage. Tommy sits at the kitchen table, listening to another argument at the door. Morris (offscreen): I wanna see my son. Lady Muriel (offscreen): Who is it, darling? Who are you? Morris (offscreen): Don't give me that. Lady Muriel (offscreen): This way, please. She leads Morris into the house. Sir John stands nearby. Sir John: Take your boots off, man. Morris goes to obey him, then stops himself. Morris: They're not dirty. Why can't you leave my Tommy alone? Ain't you got no son of your own? Sir John: Not any more. He was klled at Dieppe. He gestures to a photo on a table nearby. Morris looks at it for a moment. When he looks back, Sir John has sat down with a newspaper. Morris moves on to the kitchen. Morris: Right. You coming home, then? Tommy: Dunno. Morris: Now, look here, you- Tommy: Don't shout at me! Morris sits down opposite him. Morris: Look, I know you've been through it. And I wish I could make it better. But words can't do the job, even if I had 'em, which I ain't. Tommy: I used to feel safe here. Morris: Yeah, well, you can come and visit the ruling classes in your holidays. And if you really want to take up this country life, then, well, do it when the wr's finished, eh? Tommy: Why d'you want me to come back? What does it matter to you? Morris: 'Cause you're mine, damn it! 'Cause I need you. I can't bear that house without your mum. Come home, Tommy, please. Tommy: Yeah. Okay, then, Dad. Down End Farm. Fred is walking back towards the farmhouse. He sees Rose and Daniel coming towards him. Rose: Wanted to come and meet you. Fred: Did you? Rose: It's like you're coming home all over again. Fred: Yeah. Rose: You gonna be all right? Fred: Dunno. But I've got to try, for all our sakes. Especially his. Come on. It's okay. Rose urges Daniel forward. Fred: Come to your dad. He takes Daniel's hand. Fred: I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry about... your friend. Were you and him- Rose: Please, Fred. Fred: I've got to ask, even if it's not what I want to hear. Rose: These last eighteen months, I couldn't have done without him, and that's the truth. I was fond of him, and he was sweet on me. But the thing is, Fred... I was waiting for you. My sweetheart. Fred is silent for a moment. Fred: I'm hungry. Are you hungry? Daniel nods. Fred: Let's go home. The three of them start walking back together. Foyle's office. He's sitting contemplating in silence. There's the sound of laughter outside, then a knock at the door. Brooke enters the room Foyle: Sergeant. What you doing here? I thought you'd gone. Brooke: Had to come back, sir. You'll never guess. Sam comes in behind him. Brooke: We've won! Foyle: The wr? Brooke: The football pools. Well, not the jackpot, but a tidy old sum. A hundred quid. Milner enters behind them. Foyle stands up. Foyle: Why? Who got the line? Brooke: Guess. Foyle: Milner. Brooke laughs. Brooke: Not one draw. Foyle: Not, er... He gestures at Sam, who shakes her head. Brooke: No, sir. Foyle: Oh, I see. It's you or me, is it? Brooke: Yes, it is, sir. Foyle: And? Brooke: It's a classic case of beginner's luck. Chance has won the day, sir. Foyle: Well, well, well. Thank you. Port Vale drew with Arsenal? Brooke: Well, the g*n were a player short. They had to borrow two of Port Vale's reserves. Sam: What are you going to do with the money, sir? Foyle: Well, I don't know. Erm, a hundred pounds. That's quite a lot. What do you think? A donation, perhaps? One of the refugee funds? Milner: Very good, sir. Foyle: Yeah. Sam: Yes. Good idea. Foyle: There's a Jewish refugee fund. Erm, sergeant, would you...? Brooke: Certainly, sir. Foyle: And, er, hold back a fiver, and we'll get ourselves the best meal that, er, rations will allow. Sam: Hooray! Followed by a film at the Ruby! Bing at his best! Milner: Do we have to? Sam leaves and Brooke follows her out, launching into a Bing Crosby impersonation as he goes. Brooke: ♪ Ba-ba-ba-bom ♪ Brooke and Sam: ♪ A home, a home on the range, where the deer and the antelope play... ♪ As Foyle puts his coat on, he looks at the chess board on the side table, set up ready to start a game. Milner: Sad case, sir. Foyle: Yeah. Milner leaves. As Foyle follows, he knocks over one of the white pawns. He turns out the light.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "06x02 - Broken Souls"}	foreverdreaming
A street in Hastings. A taxi is driving along, Major John Kieffer asleep in the back seat. In Kieffer's dreams, flames burning on the surface of the ocean give way to the face of a Colonel. Colonel: What's your point, Major Kieffer? They stand in a foggy empty room. Kieffer: Sir. Colonel: Just make sure we find the bodies. We need to make a count. Cut to Kieffer in the water, turning over the floating bodies of countless GIs. Then back to the foggy room. Kieffer: The funerals. Colonel: There will be no funerals. No next-of-kin. Nothing ever happened here. Kieffer: Colonel... Colonel: Ah. Here's one of them now. The brned face of GI appears through a curtain of flames, the sound of a scream in the background. Taxi. A car horn blares outside, and Kieffer wakes up. Majestic Hotel. Kieffer's taxi pulls up outside. The building is decorated with flags and bunting. CAPTION: HASTINGS, WEDNESDAY 2nd MAY 1945 Kieffer gets out of the taxi with his bag. Hotel reception. The receptionist is speaking on the phone. Receptionist: I'm afraid it's the same all over Hastings. You could try the Royal, but I'm not sure that they'll have anything- She cuts off as it's clear the other person has hung up. Kieffer approaches the desk. Kieffer: Major John Kieffer. I have a reservation. She checks the reservation book. Receptionist: Major Kieffer. Yes. I suppose you're on your way home? Kieffer: Yeah, that's right. Receptionist: Glad to get back to your family? Kieffer: Look, why don't you just give me the key, goddammit, and let me go to my room. She looks taken aback and turns to get the key. Kieffer: I'm sorry. I'm tired. Thank you. Hotel room. Kieffer dumps his bag on the bed and goes over to sit in a chair. He tosses his cap away and sighs. OPENING CREDITS A street in Hastings. As Sam's walking along, she passes a spiv with a big bag full of bunting and flags. Spiv: Want to buy some, er, bunting, love? Sam: How much? Spiv: Two and six a quarter yard, and you don't need coupons. Sam: That's outrageous. Spiv: You try and find any in the shops! He walks on. Sam approaches the Ingleton Advertising Agency, straightening her uniform before walking in. Inside. Ray Ingleton paces around Sam where she's sitting at his desk. Ingleton: "Shift grease with Zixt hand soap." "Beecham's, the golden rule of health." I hope you take my point, Miss Stewart. Sam: Absolutely. Ingleton: Short and pithy. Six words, but they pin the product down in the public mind. Well, that's what we'll be looking for in the successful applicant. Sam: Oh, I thought the position was really just for a secretary, Mr Ingleton. Ingleton: The secretary to Mr Thomas, our chief copywriter, but you'd also be his apprentice. Now, we're looking for someone with imagination, someone willing to grasp the nettle. Sam: Oh, that's me. I'm willing to grasp it. He sits down opposite her. Ingleton: So! Convince me. Sam: I'm sorry? Ingleton: Six words. A slogan I can't resist. One that will persuade me to take you on. Sam: Er, well, um... Ingleton: Can't keep the client waiting, Miss Stewart. Sam: Um... Sam Stewart, she... gets the job done! He sighs. Ingleton: Seven words. Doctor Ziegler's office. Henry Ziegler is examining a heavily pregnant Edith Milner while Milner stands by. Ziegler: Well, he's certainly an active little chap. Nothing wrong there. Both of you are in good health. The only question we have to ask is, is he gonna wait for the end of the wr? Milner: How long do you think it will be? Ziegler: The wr or the baby? I'm afraid I couldn't predict either. But you've nothing to worry about, Mrs Milner. Er, have you a bed at St Mary's? Edith: Oh, yes. That's where I was working. Ziegler: Well, let them look after you for a change. Have you chosen a name? Edith: We're going to call him Winston. Ziegler: The fourth Winston this week. Not surprising, I suppose. Winston Milner. Milner: We're still talking about it. Aren't we? Outside. Milner and Edith are leaving. Milner: How are you feeling? He takes her arm and the two of them start walking back together. Edith: Tired. I'm afraid this wasn't very well timed. Milner: But I couldn't be happier. Edith: I bought two dozen nappies yesterday. One coupon each! I don't know what we're going to do about his clothes. Milner: Well, last time I saw Sam, she'd got her hands on an army blanket and was turning it into a romper suit. Edith: Oh, that's a fine start in life, an old blanket. Milner: Least he'll be born in a world without wr. Edith: Ooh! She looks down at herself. Edith: If he waits that long. Police station reception area. Sergeant Brooke is on duty at the desk while uniformed officers are carrying various boxes around. Foyle, just arriving, holds the door for two of them to leave. Policeman: Thank you, sir. Brooke: Good morning, sir. Foyle: Morning. Brooke: We've, erm, started moving stuff out. Foyle: I'd never have guessed. Brooke: I can't believe they want to close the old place down. And the new building on Wilder Road, it's a bit of an eyesore, if you don't mind my saying so. Foyle: Well, nothing to do with me, sergeant. He heads through into the back. Brooke: Er, there's a Mr Griffiths waiting for you, sir. Local councillor. Put him in your office, out the way. Hope that's all right. Foyle: Yeah, that's fine. Milner calls out from behind him. Milner: Morning, sir. Foyle: Morning. How is she? Milner: Just been to the doctor, sir. All's well. Foyle: Good. Brooke: Have you, er, heard anything yet, Mr Milner? Milner: Not yet. Brooke: Promoted to DI and a dad! Not bad for a week's work. Milner: Well, I haven't been promoted yet. Brooke: It's in the bag. And, er, when you get your pip, maybe you can put in a word for me. He turns to look at the movers. Brooke: No, not there. Foyle's office. Mark Griffiths sits across the desk from him. Griffiths: It's a question of the victory day celebrations. Foyle: Is it? What's the matter with them? Griffiths: Well, large numbers of people out on the streets day and night. The council has a responsibility, and there are certain issues we have to keep in mind. Foyle: What issues in particular? Griffiths: As far as I'm concerned, none at all. But as you'll see, I've been asked to chair a committee to look into all aspects of public order and safety. We've taken a room at the museum. He hands Foyle a sheet of paper. Griffiths: It was the only space we could get. Your name is at the top. Foyle: Well, ten o'clock tomorrow. That's not a lot of notice. Griffiths: We weren't given much notice ourselves, Mr Foyle. But I'm sure we can deal with the matter expeditiously. We do need to coordinate with the police. Foyle: Well, of course. Griffiths: Thank you. He goes to leave. Foyle: Bye. Outside the Majestic Hotel. A photographer takes a picture of hotel owner Martin Longmate as journalist Pete Charman watches. Charman: Thank you, Mr Longmate. Longmate: Shall we go inside? Inside. Longmate's assistant Janice Hylton walks through the hotel lounge. She passes behind the sofa where Charman sits interviewing Longmate. Longmate (offscreen): Well, the fireplace is in fact my wife's great-grandfather, who was the, er, original proprietor of the hotel. Charman: So are you expecting the next election soon, Mr Longmate? Longmate: Well, it can't happen soon enough for my money. There are certainly plenty of Conservative MPs who are urging the Prime Minister to end the coalition. Charman: And you're confident of a Conservative victory? Longmate: Well, aren't you? I think even most Labour MPs expect it. Charman: Is it true you're planning a victory celebration in the streets of Hastings? Longmate: That's right. Charman: You're paying for it yourself? Longmate: Yes. Charman: You don't think some people might see that as an inducement to vote for you when the election finally arrives? Longmate: You mean a bribe? He tuts. Longmate: Well, I certainly hope not. I think you underestimate the electorate, Mr Charman. You ask any of my staff here at the hotel. We deserve a party, and we're gonna have one. The fact that I'm paying for it is neither here nor there. Charman: Thank you very much, sir. Longmate: Always glad to talk to the Chronicle. They shake hands and Charman leaves. Janice approaches Longmate. Janice: Sir, we've had a notification of the committee meeting. It's tomorrow morning at ten o'clock. Longmate: At the, er, town hall? Janice: They've had to move it to the museum. There's a shortage of space. Longmate: Well, nothing would surprise me. This whole town's been turned on its head. Janice: Would you like me to attend? Longmate: Er, yes. It would be good if you could take minutes, Miss Hylton. Erm, anything else? Janice: We're getting an awful lot of requests for rooms. The telephone's been ringing nonstop. Longmate: Hastings, the seaside, the end of the wr. Where else would you want to be? Police station. Milner is standing his office looking at a file. Sam approaches with her hands behind her back. Sam: I've got something for you. Milner: Oh, come in. Sam: It didn't turn out quite as I hoped, but, erm.. She hands him what looks like a folded blanket. He unfolds it. Sam: It was that army blanket. For the baby! Milner tries to figure out which way up it goes. Milner: Oh! Thank you, Sam. It's... Edith will love it. Sam: Any news on the move yet? Milner: I still haven't got my promotion. Sam: Well, they'd be mad not to promote you. Oh, if you do go to Brighton, d'you think you'll need a driver? Milner: I don't think I'll get a car. She snaps her fingers. Sam: Darn. Oh, well. Better show my face. She leaves. Milner frowns at the supposed romper suit. Foyle's office. He's reading a newspaper at his desk. There's a knock at the door. Foyle: Yeah? He closes the paper, revealing the front page headline htler dad. Sam opens the door and leans in. Sam: Just to tell you I'm back, sir. Foyle: Thank you. She goes to leave again. Foyle: How'd it go? Sam: Not very well, I'm afraid, sir. She steps into the office. Foyle: Oh? Sam: I really don't know what I'm gonna do when the wr's over. I am glad Adolf's finally copped it and all that, but a part of me can't help wishing the wr would go on another year. Foyle: Well, glad we don't all think like that. Sam: No. It's a stupid thing to say, I suppose. I don't know. This place is closing down, you're retiring, Milner's transferring to Brighton. We've been together so long, I feel I'm losing my family. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I've tried advertising, accountancy, three other offices, but nobody seems to want me. I'll probably end up going back to Leominster, live with my parents and become a governess or something. Foyle picks up a leaflet from behind him. Foyle: Something here might interest you. Sam: Is it a job? Foyle: Well, sort of. Er, organisation called SSAFA. Mean anything? Sam: No, sir. What is it? Foyle: Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Families Association. Erm, they, er, help returning servicemen. Sam: Help them how? Foyle: Well, I'm not altogether sure, but they're asking for more volunteers, and it could be right up your street. He hands her the leaflet. Sam: All right, sir. I'll breeze along. She goes to leave, then stops in front of the door. Sam: Don't you want to reconsider? Foyle: Reconsider what? Sam: Retiring. Foyle: Um... no, thank you. She leaves. Street. Mark Griffiths is walking back to his house. As he reaches the front door, he sees someone has pinned a magazine cover depicting a tiger to the door. He stops for a moment, then tears it down and goes inside. He walks through into the sitting room where his mother Eunice is sitting. Eunice: Did you get the bread? Griffiths: Where did this come from? He shows her the picture. Eunice: What? Griffiths: It was on the front door. Eunice: A tiger? Griffiths: Yes. Who put it there? Eunice: Well, I didn't see it. It wasn't there this morning. What is the matter with you, Mark? What is it? Griffiths: Nothing. Eunice: Well, it must be something. It's obviously upset you. Griffiths: It's nothing. Eunice: Perhaps you ought to take something. You're miles away. Griffiths: I didn't get the bread. All the bakers are sold out. Eunice: Right. Well, we won't have bread with our tea, then. Griffiths: It doesn't matter. I'll be in late. Eunice: You're always late. Are you going to the pub? Griffiths: Mother. Eunice: Well, you haven't been the same since you came back. I wish you'd tell me what happened. You haven't been the same. Foyle house. Radio: I'm, I'm in the village of Luneburg, and I'm watching the German army coming into surrender. German tnk, gn a multitude of lorries and infantrymen in their hundreds have been arriving, bringing with them beaten men. Foyle stands listening as he puts his coat on. Radio: In the midst of these defeated soldiers comes a huddle of RAF released prisoners, cheering as they go by. It's what we've been waiting for. The end of the German army in the north. He turns the radio off. Outside. Foyle and Sam walk round to the car. Sam: I don't understand it, sir. htler's dad, Goering's gone mad - they say he's wearing a toga - and the rest of them are having their faces changed, so why won't they actually announce it's all over? Foyle: Beats me. Sam: Station, sir? Foyle: Nope. The museum. Sam: Taking a day off? Foyle: Oh, wouldn't that be nice? Sam: Oh, I spoke to the people at SSAFA. I'm going to see them this afternoon. Foyle: That's good. They get into the car and drive away. Museum. Sam and Foyle pull up outside the entrance just as Doctor Ziegler is heading inside. Sam: Do you want me to wait for you, sir? Foyle: What a good idea. He gets out and heads in. Museum front desk. Ziegler stands in front of Michael Brown, the assistant curator. Brown: Ziegler. That's a German name. Ziegler: I was actually born in Austria. Brown: Yes, well, it's all the same now. Foyle walks in behind Ziegler. Ziegler: If you'll forgive me, I really don't see what business my nationality is of yours. Brown: You don't come in here without my say-so. Ziegler: Obviously, but if you want to disrupt this committee because of my name... Foyle: Is there a problem? Brown: Er, no sir. Just checking the register. Foyle: Er, who are you? Brown: Brown, sir. Michael Brown. Assistant curator. I've been asked to keep an eye on you gentlemen while you're here. Ziegler: I'm Henry Ziegler. Doctor Ziegler. They shake hands. Foyle: How do you do? Christopher Foyle. Ziegler: This gentleman seems to have some problem with my parentage. Brown: Not at all, sir. I'm just doing my job. Foyle: All right for us to go in now, do you think? Brown: Oh, certainly, sir. I'll tick you off. Up the stairs. Foyle and Ziegler head up the staircase. Ziegler: Odd place to be holding a Victory Day committee. Foyle: Yeah, isn't it? They reach the top and Ziegler looks around. Ziegler: Oh. Ah, I think we must be through here. He points through a doorway to the left. Shortly after, Michael Brown comes up and listens in through the doorway. Longmate (offscreen): Fortunately, we still have supplies. I just hope we're not going to be accused of hoarding. Griffiths (offscreen): Ah, Mr Foyle. And Doctor Ziegler. Brown turns and walks away. Committee room. Griffiths stands with Martin Longmate as Foyle and Ziegler arrive. Griffiths: May I introduce Martin Longmate, who owns the Majestic Hotel. They both shake hands with him. Ziegler: Longmate. We've met, I think. Longmate: No. I don't think so. Ziegler: Martin Longmate. I feel sure I know the name. Longmate: You may have read about me. Ziegler: Ah, yes? Longmate: In the press. I'm, um, standing for parliament. Ziegler: Perhaps. Griffiths: And this is Miss Hylton, who has kindly agreed to take the minutes. Janice stands up briefly from her seat. Janice: How do you do? Longmate: So are we all here? Griffiths: One more still to come. As they head towards the table, Major Kieffer arrives. Kieffer: I'm sorry I'm late. He spots Foyle. Kieffer: Christopher! Foyle: John. Kieffer: What are you doing here? Foyle: Well, what are you doing here? Kieffer: Well, I'm on the committee. Foyle: Well, me too. Kieffer: Well, I suppose now I come to think of it, you're the first person they'd invite. How are you? They shake hands. Foyle: Much the same. I thought you'd been transferred. Kieffer: Yeah, that's right. Now I'm back. I'm Major John Kieffer, with the 215th US Engineers. We built the air base at, er, Hawthorn Hill. Ziegler: That monstrosity! Kieffer: So you don't like it, huh? Well, it helped us launch the invasion into Northern Europe and win the wr, but, you know, I'm really sorry if it, er, spoiled the landscape. Ziegler: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... Kieffer: No, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It just, er, took a lot of the blood, sweat, toil and tears your Mr Churchill goes on about. Hotel lobby. Michael Brown is coming down the stairs and sees Sam waiting. Brown: You waiting for someone? Sam: DCS Foyle. Brown: Ah. Sam: Do you work here? Brown: Yeah. Well, I'm assistant curator. Yeah, I was in the Home Guard until they stood us down. Now I'm back here. Sam: Do you know how long they're going to be? Brown: I couldn't believe it. They've got a Jerry up there! Did you see that? Sam: No, I can't say I did. Brown: I mean, you read what that lot have been doing, Belsen and all that stuff, and it makes you sick. They're not human. Sam: Well, forgive and forget, I suppose. Brown: Not a bit of it. We ought to kll the whole lot of them. Wipe them off the face of the Earth. He walks through into the back. Sam: Nice talking to you. Meeting room. Griffiths: Right, shall we start at the beginning? Public order offences. Longmate: Well, like what, exactly, Mr Griffiths? Griffiths: Well, the destruction of public property, for a start. Are you aware that several park benches have already disappeared? Dismantled, we believe, to make bonfires. Kieffer: Boy, that's the British for you. You come out of a world wr and you start worrying about a few park benches. Griffiths: Major Kieffer, I should remind you there are many hundreds of American GIs here in Hastings, and they're not known for their orderly conduct when it comes to street parties. Kieffer: I guess you've got it in for the Yanks, haven't you? Griffiths: I didn't say that. Kieffer: Well, maybe I should remind you, Mr Griffiths, the end of the wr was announced on US bases a week ago, and, er, we didn't have any problems. Longmate: A week ago? Kieffer: Actually, it was an error. But, er, we didn't lose our heads. No dad bodies. Longmate: Look, I'm sure there are gonna be public order offences, erm, drunkenness, destruction of public property. But, er, surely to goodness, after five years, people deserve a chance to let their hair down. Foyle: And you're, er, organising a party, is that right? Janice: It's gonna be the largest in the south of England. Mr Longmate's paying for it himself. Longmate: I'm just doing my bit, as I wasn't able to fight. Ziegler: You weren't fit for active service, Mr Longmate? Longmate: Problem with my eyes. Ziegler: Your eyes? Longmate: That's right. Kieffer: Anything else? Besides park benches? Hastings SSAFA headquarters. Calder (voiceover): Right now, we need all the help we can get. Inside, Anne Calder leads Sam, dressed in civilian clothes, through a big room filled with racks and tables of clothing. Calder: Our main role is a practical one. Information, to begin with. Jessica. She waves at another woman in passing. Calder: Er, you worked with the police? Sam: Yes. Calder: Well, a bit of detective work may be called for. We have thousands of returning soldiers searching for friends and families. People have moved. Many have been bmb out. She picks up some leaflets from a table where they're set out. Calder: And then there are wounded or missing servicemen with families searching for them. Sam: How can I help? Calder: Well, we have people coming in every day, and every single one of them has a different need. Sam picks up one of the leaflets. Calder: It may just be a question of clothing. Sam: Well, don't they get demob suits? Calder: That's hardly adequate. No, we have a central clothing branch in London that sends out almost a million pieces of clothing a year. Then there's food, housing or just a friendly face, someone they can talk to. They sit down together at another table. Sam: Well, that's me. Calder: Miss Stewart, I think I should warn you, some of these men are more damaged than any of us really understands. Fighting in a wr, being taken prisoner, being injured, just being away, in some cases for years, it takes its toll. Sam: I'm sure. Calder: So, you think you can cope? Sam: I'll give it my best sht. Calder: Not quite the right expression in the circumstances, but let's see how you go. Kieffer's hotel room, night. He tosses and turns restlessly, dreaming. Foggy room. Kieffer: Bodies. GI bodies floating in the water. Colonel (voiceover): Thank you, Major Kieffer. Foggy room. Kieffer: Hundreds of them. A glimpse of someone in British navy uniform turning a dial. Colonel (voiceover): It was nobody's fault, Major. Foggy room. Kieffer: That's not true. You know that's not true. Colonel: Who cares about the truth? We win the wr. That's all that matters. Just get back home. Hotel room. The Colonel's voice continues to echo, distorting. Colonel (voiceover): Just get back home... Just get back home... Cut back to Kieffer's dream as he turns over countless GI bodies floating in the water. Hotel room. There's the sound of an aeroplane passing by, and Kieffer sits up with a gasp. He pants for breath, then turns the bedside lamp on. There's a bottle of alcohol on the nightstand, and he picks it up and pours himself a drink. Kieffer: Ah. He pants. Hylton house. Soldier Eddie Hylton rounds the wall in front of the house with a kitbag. CAPTION: FRIDAY 4th MAY 1945 He stands and looks at the house for a moment, then moves towards it. Inside. Janice is pouring a cup of tea with music on the radio. Outside. Eddie approaches and knocks on the front door. Inside. Janice sets the kettle down and goes to answer it. Janice: Eddie! Tearful, she rushes forward to kiss and hug him. Police station reception area. Brooke turns to look as a uniformed officer clatters the plates that he's loading into a moving box. Sam walks in behind them. Brooke: Be careful with that! That's a hundred quid's worth of the best china. Sam: Best china? The only thing we've got in the canteen is a few cracked mugs. Brooke: Evidence, Miss Stewart. Nicked from a warehouse in Eastbourne. The case comes up next month. Foyle walks between the two of them, heading into the back. Brooke: Morning, sir. Foyle: Sergeant. Brooke turns back to Sam. Brooke: There's something in the paper you ought to see. He goes round behind the front desk. Sam: Don't tell me. They've finally announced it's over? Brooke: No such luck. No, it's on the employment page. There. Thought it might suit you. She looks at the newspaper. Sam: "Prospective conservative candidate seeks personal assistant." Well, I don't know, Brookie. I don't know a thing about politics. Brooke: You don't know about advertising either, but that didn't stop you. Sam: That's true. Brooke: It's a local number. Why not give it a ring? Sam: Yeah, I could do worse. Brooke: Yeah, and if he does get in, you could end up in Parliament. Milner comes in behind them. Sam: Maybe I'll get to meet Winnie! Brooke laughs. Brooke: Yeah. Morning, Mr Milner. Milner: Morning. The policeman doing the packing knocks over the crate of china. Brooke: What do you think you're doing? Policeman: Sorry, sir. He stands the crate back up as Brooke hurries over. Foyle's office. He's just getting a paper from the filing cabinet as Milner arrives in the doorway. Milner: Sir. Foyle: Sergeant. Milner: How was the committee? Foyle goes over and starts dialling the phone. Foyle: Well, a complete waste of time. A lot of talk about nothing in particular, no action at the end of it - sort of more or less as expected, really. Milner: At least it's over. Foyle: No, they want us back tomorrow. He speaks into the phone. Foyle: Hello? Hotel reception, please. Milner: A Saturday? Foyle: We have to be prepared for every eventuality, it seems. Milner: VE Day. That's what they're calling it. Victory in Europe. He leaves and Foyle speaks into the phone. Foyle: Hello? I understand you have a Major Kieffer is staying with you. Is that right? Hylton house. Janice and Eddie are at the table together. Janice: Why didn't you tell me you were coming home? Eddie: That's all right, innit? Stop and ask someone if I could use the blower. Janice: Well, you could have written. Eddie: I only got out at the last minute. There was a spare seat on a Dakota and the CO said I could have it, 'cause I'd been out there the longest. Janice: So where were you? I don't even know where you've been. Eddie: It was an island. A place called Ist. Janice: Ist? That's a funny name. Eddie: Yeah. Janice: We'll have to find it on the map. It would have been easier knowing where you were. That was the worst of it. Eddie: Well, we moved around a bit. Janice: Here, give me a hug. She goes round to him and gives him a hug and a kiss on the temple. Eddie: You feel different. Janice: What you talking about? Eddie: I don't know. Put on weight. Janice: That's not a nice thing to say! Eddie: No, it suits you. It's funny though. Janice: What? Eddie: Nothing. Janice: You're different too, Eddie. Eddie: How? Janice: I haven't seen you for four years. You've been away for four years. It's like I'm meeting you for the first time. Eddie: Yeah. Well, got a lot of catching up to do. Janice: Not now! She pulls away from him. Janice: I've got to get to work. Eddie: You're not serious. Janice: Well, I'm not going to work. Of course I'm not. But I've got to let Mr Longmate know. I'll have to call in. Eddie: Who's Mr Longmate? Janice: My boss. I wrote to you. The Majestic Hotel. He gave me a job. Eddie: Is that all he gave you? Janice: Don't say things like that! Why don't you come along with me? Eddie: Yeah. Maybe I will. Janice: We'll go along together. You can meet Mr Longmate. Maybe he can help you. Eddie: Why should I need any help? Janice: You need a job. Eddie: A job? Work? Janice: The wr's over, Eddie. We need to start again. Eddie: Yeah. Janice: You made it. That's all that matters. And we're together. Doctor Ziegler's office. Griffiths (voiceover): I can't bear it. Ziegler (voiceover): Your blood pressure is very high. He removes the blood pressure cuff from Griffiths' arm. Ziegler: When did you last get a proper night's sleep? Griffiths: I can't sleep. Ziegler: Maybe it's the silence. You'd be surprised how many people are finding it impossible to sleep without bmb dropping, and the sirens. Griffiths: I need something. Ziegler: What you need, Mr Griffiths, is to rest. Griffiths: Rest. Ziegler: What is it you've got on your mind? Griffiths: I'm being persecuted. Ziegler: Persecuted? Griffiths: Because of what happened. It was terrible. Horrible. It- but it wasn't just me. Ziegler: Please, old chap. Just try to calm down. You're not any making sense. Griffiths: Why are they blaming me? Ziegler: Nobody's blaming you for anything. You've worked yourself up into a state. Griffiths: I can't even go out of the house. Ziegler: Look, I'm going to give you a prescription. Something to calm you down and help you to sleep. And I think you should give our next committee meeting a miss. You're in no state for anything. Griffiths: It wasn't my fault! I don't deserve this! Majestic hotel. Eddie stands waiting in the lounge. Janice comes out of another room, followed by Longmate. Longmate: I am very, very pleased to meet you, Edward. They shake hands. Longmate: You didn't tell me he was coming home. Janice: I didn't know. Longmate: Can I get you something? A drink? Something to eat? Eddie: I'm all right, thank you, sir. Longmate: Well, please, sit down. Eddie and Janice sit down on one of the sofas. Longmate: Well, I imagine you've been around the houses, then. Eddie: Tunisia, Greece, Albania, Libya and Italy. That's right, sir. Longmate: Quite a wr. Eddie: Could say that. Longmate: Glad it's over? Eddie's silent. Longmate: I can imagine you'll find it hard to adapt, er, Civvy Street and all that. Eddie: I just need a bit of time to myself, sir. With my wife. Longmate: Of course. Janice, you must take as much time as you need. Janice: Well, I hate to let you down, Mr Longmate. Longmate: Don't even think of it. And Edward, when you've had a chance to settle in a bit, you must come and see me. You were, um, a joiner before the wr? Eddie: General carpenter, sir. Longmate: There's plenty of work here. We'll always have a place for you. The Hyltons stand up. Janice: What about the committee, Mr Longmate? Longmate: Susan can come with me. Don't worry. Outside. Sam approaches the hotel. Man: Luggage is in? Porter: All in, sir. The Hyltons are just coming out of the building. There's a bang as someone closes something and Eddie jumps and turns to look. Janice: It's nothing, Eddie. Come on! Hotel reception area. Sam approaches the receptionist. Sam: I have an appointment with Mr Longmate. It's Miss Stewart. Receptionist: I'll let him know you're here. Foyle house. Kieffer walks into the front room, holding a bottle. Foyle follows him in. Kieffer: Well, here we are again. Just like old times. Foyle: Is it? Kieffer: You tell me. Here. I brought you something. Foyle: That's very kind of you. Kieffer: Figured supplies might be running a little low. Foyle: You're right. Kieffer: You can open it. Foyle: Oh, it's a bit early for me. Kieffer: Not for me. Foyle: Sit down. He goes over to pour Kieffer a drink. Foyle: Water? Kieffer: No, thanks. How's your boy? Foyle: I wish I knew. Er, he's in Malta. Haven't heard for quite a while. He gives Kieffer his drink. Kieffer: So why do you want to see me? Foyle: Well, no, I said I'd like to see you if you had the time. Not quite the same thing. He goes over to sit down in the chair opposite. Kieffer: So this isn't official? Foyle: No. Kieffer takes his hat off. Kieffer: Bottoms up. He downs the drink. Foyle: Another? Kieffer: No, thank you, Christopher. I don't need another. You asked me to come over here. I want to know why. Foyle: Well, look, it just occurred to me that, er, after the surprise of seeing other the other day, erm, you've obviously been in Hastings, you haven't been in touch, and I just wondered if everything was all right. Kieffer: I'm fine. Glad to be back. Foyle: And you've been in Devon. Is that right? Kieffer: Yeah. And it rained even more down there than it does here. Foyle: Do any fishing? Kieffer: Never got the chance. Foyle: Well, listen, I'm going out tomorrow. Interested? Kieffer: I thought we were all meeting again tomorrow. The gddmn committee. Foyle: Well, the gddmn committee is in the afternoon. We've still got the morning. Kieffer: No thanks, Christopher. I'll pass. I kind of lost the taste for fishing over the years. Foyle: I'm sorry to hear that. Kieffer: I lost the taste for a lot of things. He stands up. Kieffer: You know what? I just want to go home. That's about the size of it. Majestic Hotel. Sam and Longmate walk through into his office. Longmate: Well, here we are. Er, please take a seat. They both sit down. Longmate: Um, tell me about your wr, Miss Stewart. Sam: Well, there's not much to tell, really. Um, I started out in the MTC, Motorised Transport Corps, and then I was transferred to the police. Longmate: A detective? Sam: No such luck. A driver. And that's what I've been doing ever since. Longmate: And are you interested in politics? Sam: Absolutely. Longmate: So what are your views on, for example, Beveridge and his ideas for a National Health Service? Sam: Oh, I'm all for it. Longmate: But we also want to reduce taxation. Sam: Can't you do both? Longmate: May not be possible. Sam: Ah. That is a bit tricky, isn't it? Longmate: Have you thought about Labour plans for public ownership? Sam: Constantly. She laughs a little. Sam: Look, I, I don't really know much about politics, Mr Longmate. In fact I don't really know anything, but, um, it seems to me that we trusted Mr Churchill to bring us through the wr, and we ought to trust him now with the peace. Longmate: Well, that's very honest of you, Miss Stewart, and honesty in politics can be a very rare commodity. I wondered if you'd have lunch with me tomorrow? Sam: Oh! Well, I'm not sure I'm- Longmate: I'm sorry. That's, that's, that's very forward of me, and, um, please, please don't take it the wrong way. You see, a large part of the work, um, being my personal assistant would involve one-to-one contact both with me and with my constituents. Now, we need to know that we can get along. So all I'm proposing is something a little less formal than this interview. Sam: I'm afraid I'm not free for lunch. Erm, I'm working with SSAFA. Longmate: That's very commendable. Does you credit. How about dinner? Sam: Tomorrow? Longmate: The hotel has a very good cook. Sam: I suppose so. All right. Longmate: Well, I'll see you here at seven o'clock, and we can talk some more. Hylton house. Janice and Eddie are sitting down to a meal. Janice: You're not eating anything. Eddie: Not hungry. Janice: You must be hungry. That's the best tinned salmon. I don't know the last time I opened a tin. I never have enough points. Eddie: Where d'you get it? Janice: The hotel. Eddie: Longmate? Janice: What's wrong with you, Eddie? Yes. He gave it to me for you. He's looked after me. Eddie: What's that meant to mean? Janice: He's given me a job! I had to do something while you were away. Is this how it's gonna be? You've come back, but it's like I hardly know you. Eddie: I need to see someone. Janice: Who? Eddie: The quack. I've got gut-rot. I need to see someone. Janice: I'll make you an appointment. Eddie: It's all right. I've already done it. Doctor Ziegler. Janice: Ziegler? Eddie: I'm seeing him tomorrow. Janice: You should let me look after you. Eddie: You can. I'll tell you where you can start. What is it you're not telling me? Griffiths house. Mark Griffiths walks in through the front door. Eunice is waiting on the stairs. Eunice: Where've you been? Griffiths: The pub. Felt like a drink. Eunice: You could have had a drink here. Griffiths: There's nothing in the pantry. Eunice: Have you eaten? Griffiths: No. Eunice: Would you like something? Griffiths: It's all right, Mother. Eunice: You've got to eat. He picks up an envelope from the hall table. Griffiths: What's this? Eunice: I don't know. It's addressed to you. Griffiths: Who delivered it? Eunice: I didn't see. Someone knocked on the door. I went outside and it was there on the step. Griffiths: You didn't see them? Eunice: I've just told you. Are you going to open it? Griffiths: No. She sighs and goes to leave. Eunice: Oh. After a moment, Griffiths opens the envelope. Sand pours out of it onto the floor. As Eunice looks back through the doorway, Griffiths drops the envelope and begins to sob. River. CAPTION: SATURDAY 5th MAY 1945 Foyle is fishing. Vera Lynn's "When the Lights Go On Again" plays. Andrew Foyle approaches in his RAF uniform and stands watching his father for a moment. Andrew: Dad. Foyle turns and sees him. Andrew: I thought I'd find you here. Later. The two of them walk along the riverbank together. Foyle house. Foyle pours Andrew a drink at the table and brings it over to him in the front room. Foyle: Here we are. Andrew: Cheers, Dad. Hmm! Full bottle of scotch. Where on Earth did you get that? Foyle: Well, it's bourbon. He goes back over to the table to pour himself a drink. Andrew: Ah, Americans. Foyle: Yeah, a friend of mine. Or rather, was. So is this just a visit, or are you back for good? Andrew: I'm not flying any more. I, er, had a touch of sinusitis a couple of months ago. Well, more than a touch. Four days in hospital. Foyle: Cured? Andrew: Don't ask. It was bloody painful. Then the Group Captain sent me home. Foyle sits down opposite him. Foyle: So you're out of it? Andrew: Yeah. I made it. Can't stop thinking about all the ones who didn't. Rex Talbot. Charlie Paige. So many of them. They were my friends, and yet it's like I hardly knew them. Here one day, gone the next. Best of the best. Foyle: Why them, not you? Andrew: That's what I wonder all the time. Foyle: Perhaps you were the better pilot. Andrew: You know, what they say is exactly the opposite. The real fliers, the ones who knew what they were doing, they were the easiest to bring down. It was the lazy bastards, the ones who cut corners, who didn't do it by the book. We got away with it because Jerry didn't know what to expect. You're definitely leaving the police, then? Foyle: Can't wait. Andrew: How's Sam? Foyle: Why do you ask? Andrew: Just wondering. Foyle: You met somebody else, didn't you? Andrew: Yeah. He clears his throat. Andrew: Didn't work out. And Debden was bloody awful, if you want the truth, Dad. Drizzled the whole time and the only decent pubs were in Cambridge. Didn't like the training. Missed my Spit. Kate was a nice girl. In the WAAF. Sort of persuaded myself I was in love with her. But I wasn't. Foyle: Well, Sam's all right. I mean, she's still the driver, and she's got some voluntary work with SSAFA. Andrew: I'd like to see her. Maybe I'll look her up. Foyle: You weren't very kind to her. Andrew: I know. Stupid bloody wr. Do you think it was worth it, Dad? Foyle: Well, we've all paid a price, some more than others, but I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever. Andrew: Yes. Foyle: And I'm very glad you're back. Griffiths house. The telephone rings. Griffiths goes to pick it up. Griffiths: Hello? Kieffer (phone): It was just a few numbers. Griffiths: Who is this? What do you want? Telephone box. Kieffer: More than 700 American boys died because of you. Griffiths house. Griffiths: No, that's not true. I wasn't responsible. You're mistaken. Now leave me alone! He hangs up. Beach. Kieffer leaves the phone box and walks away. Hastings SSAFA headquarters. Eddie approaches the building. Inside. Eddie sits at one of the tables. Sam brings him a cup of tea. Sam: You look like you could do with a cup. Sugar's had it, I'm afraid. She sits down opposite him. Eddie: I don't take sugar. Sam: Well, that's all right, then. I'm Sam Stewart. Eddie: Hylton. Edward. Ed. Sam: Just back? Eddie: Yeah. Sam: Where were you? Eddie: All around. Sam: Army? Eddie: Y Patrol. Long range desert group, signals operator. Sam: You must be glad to be out. Eddie: No. No, I'm not sure I am. Sam: I don't know why people aren't more cheerful. The wr's over, but everyone seems the same. Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet. Eddie: I was told you could help me with work and that sort of thing. Sam: We can try. Eddie: So, what can you do for me, Miss Stewart? Sam: Well, we have a booklet. It tells you what, what kind of things we have on offer here. University grants, training programmes, employment schemes, that sort of thing. Are you all right for money? Eddie: I've got money. They gave me eight weeks' paid leave. Sam: And you have somewhere to live? Eddie: I have a house, but I'm thinking of moving. I don't want to stay in Hastings. Sam: Maybe you should try the Resettlement Advice Office. There's one in Welham Road. Eddie: Welham Road. Sam: And did you know we have a married families club? Are you married? You might like to join. I'm sorry. If you want the honest truth, this is my first day here and I'm not much cop at it. I'm all right at making a cup of tea, but that's about it. Do you want me to find someone else? Eddie: No. I've got nothing to say. Sam: Is it really so bad, being back? Eddie: Dunno where I am any more. Don't know what to believe. Four years out there, behind the lines, doing what we did, all of us together. And they suddenly tell us it's all over, we've got to come back and start again. How we meant to do that? How are we meant to put it all behind us? Cup of tea? Married families club? Half my mates got klled out there. Maybe they were the lucky ones. Museum front desk. Michael Brown is reading a newspaper article headed BRITAIN ENRAGED BY NEW nzi HORRORS. He puts it down and walks off. Meeting room. The committee are back around the table, with a new woman taking the minutes in place of Janice. Ziegler: I don't understand why they keep hanging on. It's not good for people, waiting all the time for an announcement. I'm getting a lot of my patients coming in with nervous conditions, depressed, unable to sleep. Longmate: I heard a rumour it's gonna be tomorrow. Ziegler: I heard that rumour about today. Griffiths: I've received, er, written confirmation that when the victory is announced, all the public houses are to remain open until midnight. Now where is it? He rfles through his papers. Longmate picks up another sheet from the table. Longmate: Erm, licensing hours, Hastings and Eastbourne. I think that's what you're looking for. Griffiths: Thank you. As Doctor Ziegler said, I haven't slept myself. Kieffer: That's too bad. Ziegler: Are you sure you're well enough to go on? Griffiths: Yes, yes. That's why we're all here. Now, more supplies of whisky and gin have been distributed across the south coast, and the bottles are marked "not to be sold until victory night". We need to be sure that's strictly adhered to, Mr Foyle. Foyle: I don't quite see how we're supposed to do that, exactly. I mean, We can send officers into as many pubs as you like, but, er, the chances of them coming out again are pretty slim, I'd have said. Doctor Ziegler's office. Edith and Milner are just walking away from the building. Milner: So what did he say? Edith: Doctor Ziegler wasn't there, but the nurse saw me. There's nothing to worry about. The baby's being slow, that's all. As the two of them walk along the street, Edith spots Janice Hylton walking with Eddie. Edith: Janice! Janice: Er, I'm sorry? Edith: It's Edith! You must remember. We met at Doctor Ziegler's. Janice: No. You're wrong. I, I don't know you. Edith: But you were... She looks at Janice and then Eddie. Edith: Oh, I'm sorry. I must have mistaken you for somebody else. She and Milner walk on. Eddie: Who was she? Janice: I dunno. I just said. I never met her before. Eddie: She knew your name. Janice: Well, I didn't know hers. You look tired, Edward. I've got a few errands to run. Why don't you go home on your own? She walks away. Museum. Michael Brown climbs the stairs and listens in on the committee meeting for a moment. Griffiths (offscreen): Right. I don't think there are any other matters outstanding. Brown moves off. Meeting room. Longmate: Well, if that's so, would you mind very much if I took myself off? I still have a party to organise. Ziegler: How many people are you inviting, Mr Longmate? Longmate: Well, the whole town's invited, Doctor Ziegler. That includes you. Ziegler: Oh, thank you. But I think I shall be staying peacefully at home. Longmate: There'll be enough whisky and gin for everyone, that I can promise. Kieffer: Not to be sold until victory night. Longmate: Exactly. Kieffer: Yeah, we wouldn't want to be sending out the wrong signals. Longmate: Miss Gilbert will take the minutes, and I'll say good day. Outside. Sam pulls up to the building in the car. Janice Hylton walks past, heading into the building. Meeting room. Foyle stands up. Foyle: I should be going as well. Ziegler: Actually, Mr Foyle, there was one thing I wanted to talk to you about. Foyle: Yeah? Ziegler: Um, it's a private matter. I wonder if I might call in at the police station. Are you there this afternoon? Foyle: I am. Any time you like. Ziegler: Thank you. Foyle turns to Kieffer. Foyle: Going my way? Kieffer: No, I need some shuteye. I'm heading back to the hotel. Foyle: All right. Griffiths is still sitting at the table. Ziegler: You all right? Griffiths: Yes. Thank you. Museum display case. Someone takes a Knfe from a line of them on display. Outside. Major Kieffer leaves the building, passing Sam where she stands by the car. Foyle comes out after him, and spots Sam waiting. Foyle: It's Saturday. What are you doing here? Sam: Thought you might like someone to get you out of here, sir. Foyle: The sooner the better. As he goes to get into the car, he spots Janice Hylton leaving the museum. Museum reception area. Ziegler leaves the building. Shortly after, Griffiths comes down the staircase. Michael Brown walks by as he's leaving. Brown: Good day, Mr Griffith. Outside. Ziegler is walking along a secluded back street. He looks over his shoulder, then turns back and stops, smiling at someone in front of him. Street. Two boys are pushing an effigy of htler along in a barrow. Sergeant Brooke walks past them in civilian clothes. Brooke: What are you doing with that? Boy: What do you think? We're burning it. Brooke: Good lads. He walks round the corner to where a spiv has a stall set up covered in flags on sticks. Spiv: Bunting! Union Jacks! Red, white and blue! No street party's complete. Buy your colours here. Brooke: I'll have a couple of flags, please. Spiv: Five bob each, mate. Brooke: Five bob? You're pulling my leg. Spiv: Well, you want one, that's the price you gotta pay. Brooke sighs and reaches into his pocket. Brooke: All right. I'll have this one. He goes to pick up one of the flags. Spiv: That one's two quid. Brooke: What? The spiv shows him a much smaller flag, made of paper. Spiv: This one's five bob. Brooke: You're not serious. Spiv: Do I look like I'm joking? You don't like it, you go somewhere else. Brooke: People died for this flag. Doesn't that mean something? Spiv: Look, I'm trying to do business here. Brooke: No, what you're doing is profiteering. And in case you hadn't noticed, there's still a law against that. Spiv: Says who? The wr's over, mate. Or haven't they told you? Brooke: The law's still the law. Spiv: So, what are you gonna do, then? Arrest me? Brooke: Yeah. That's exactly what I'm going to do. My name is Sergeant Brooke, Sussex constabulary. He shows his warrant card. Brooke: And you are coming with me. Spiv: Oh, bloody hell. He tosses an armful of bunting in Brooke's face and runs for it. Brooke: Stop that man! He chases after the spiv, who pushes past two women. Brooke: Stop! Stop that man! They run past a church. Brooke: Stop! Stop! The spiv joins a line of mourners at funeral. Brooke: Stop! Brooke runs past him, then stops to look around. The spiv runs off again, and Brooke chases. Brooke: Stop! Hey! Stop! Stop that man! The spiv runs down a set of steps and into the same back street where Ziegler was walking earlier. Ziegler lurches out in front of the two of them. Brooke: Stop! The spiv runs past Ziegler, who collides with Brooke. Ziegler collapses back against the wall, groaning in pain. Brooke looks down and sees his hand is covered in blood. Ziegler continues to groan, and Brooke supports him as he slides down the wall. Majestic Hotel. The doorman holds the door open for Kieffer to walk out. As he's leaving, Sam gets out of a taxi in front and pays the driver. Inside. Sam walks through into the hotel restaurant and looks around. Longmate walks up to her. Longmate: Miss Stewart. How very good of you to come. Sam: Thank you for inviting me. Longmate: Shall we go in? Sam: Mmm. May I ask you something, Mr Longmate? Do you invite everyone who's applied for this job to dinner? Longmate: Absolutely not. Shall we say you're, um, through to the second round. Later. The two of them are seated at a table in the restaurant. Longmate: Two advantages to owning an hotel. Deep cellars, and I get to choose who drinks what. He pours out some wine. Sam: How did you come to own an hotel? Longmate: Well, I'd like to tell you that I started from the bottom and worked my way up, but, um, I'm afraid that's not true. I inherited the hotel when my wife died. Sam: I'm sorry. Longmate: Yes, it was at the very start of the wr. She was... visiting a friend in London and, er... took a direct ht. Well, there have been so many casualties, so much suffering. That's why this next election is going to be so important. We've got to rebuild. It's a chance to start again. Sam: You never actually told me what you expected your assistant to do. Longmate: To stay close to me. To be someone I can trust. Sam: That's not quite what it said in the advertisement. Longmate: Well, I was paying by the word. So you were in the MTC? Sam: For a year. Longmate: And then the police. That's rather unusual. Who exactly did you drive? Sam: A detective. Here in Hastings. His name is Mr Foyle. Janice Hylton enters the room. Longmate (offscreen): Christopher Foyle? Sam: Yes. Have you met him? Longmate: Well, yes, I was- I was with him this afternoon. Janice (offscreen): Martin. Longmate looks up at her and then quickly over at Sam. Longmate: Miss Hylton. Janice: I've been looking for you. Longmate: I'm afraid this is a private dinner. I really can't talk now. Janice: A private dinner? I know what you're doing. I know exactly what you're doing! Longmate stands up. Longmate: Janice, remember, this is a public place. You can't behave like this. Please. Janice: I need to speak to you. Longmate: Not now! Janice: Now! The conversation in the restaurant falls silent. Longmate: Miss Stewart, I'm afraid you're gonna have to forgive me, but, er, this is my current secretary, who as you can see is a little distraught, but, er, to be honest, if I may, I don't think you'd be right for the post. I'm very sorry. He and Janice walk away. Sam sighs, then picks up her glass of wine and drinks. Outside the Foyle house. CAPTION: SUNDAY 6th MAY 1945 Andrew (voiceover): You've got to work? Inside. Foyle is just leaving the breakfast table. Andrew: You're not serious. Foyle: Well, it's not exactly how I'd choose to spend my Sunday. Andrew: Who's been mrder this time? Foyle: A man called Ziegler. Doctor Ziegler. Andrew: German? Foyle heads out into the hall to get his hat and coat. Foyle: Austrian. But as English as you and me. Andrew: So who klled him? Foyle: Well, don't ask me, I've no idea. What are you gonna do while I'm gone? Andrew: Oh, I don't know. Not much, I don't think. He laughs. Andrew: Poor Dad! It could only happen to you! Foyle goes back to the breakfast table to grab a slice of toast. Foyle: What do you mean? Andrew: The whole country preparing for a giant knees-up, and once again you're stuck with the body in the library. Foyle: It was in the museum. He leaves. Police station. Foyle walks in to the reception area. Brooke (offscreen): That's it, just to the left a bit. Perfect. Brooke is just finishing setting up all the flags and bunting from the spiv's stall around the front desk. Foyle: Well, that's, er, very colourful. Brooke: They were an absolute steal, sir. They're just getting ready for the big announcement. Foyle: Uh-huh. You all right, by the way? Brooke: Doctor Ziegler? Yeah, he ran right into me, sir. Well, I, I ran into him. Foyle: Speak to you? Brooke: Not a word, I'm afraid, sir. It was just my luck, really. If he'd said who stuck the Knfe in, we could have all gone home. Foyle heads through into the back, passing Milner's office. Milner (offscreen): Good morning, sir. Foyle: Sorry to drag you in on a Sunday. Milner: I knew Doctor Ziegler. Foyle: Did you? So did I. How did you know him? Milner: He'd been treating Edith. Foyle's office. Milner is looking through a file. Milner: He was unmarried, no family that we know of. He'd been living in London, came down to Hastings last year. What else do we know about him? Foyle: Well, we know that the, er, last conversation I had with him was about him wanting to see me about something. Milner: Do you think that's why he was klled? Foyle: Could be. Milner: You don't think it was his name, do you, sir? Ziegler. I mean, there's so much anti-German feeling around, what with these pictures of Belsen, and the rest of it. Foyle: Well, he didn't look German, he didn't sound German. What do we know about the Knfe? Milner: Er, the kller took it with him. But the pathologist looked at the wound and said we're looking for something with a long, curved blade. There's a knock on the door. Foyle: Yeah. Sam rushes in. Sam: Is it true someone's been mrder? Foyle: Perhaps. Sam: Oh! I'll get the car. She leaves. Museum lobby. Brown leads Foyle and Milner up the stairs. Brown: I don't know, really. Dragging me back here on a Sunday! Foyle: Yeah, it's so inconsiderate getting yourself mrder on a weekend, isn't it? Brown: Yes, yes, all right. Foyle: You didn't much care for Doctor Ziegler, I seem to remember. Brown: I didn't have anything against him. Foyle: Well, not what I heard. Brown: Oh? Foyle: Germans, kll the lot of them, wipe them from the face of the Earth. You remember saying that? Brown: You're not trying to say that I put a Knfe in him, are you? Display case. There's a visible gap in the row of knives. Foyle: Looks as if there's a Knfe missing here, wouldn't you say? Brown: Well, I don't know anything about that. Foyle tries the door of the display case. It opens. Foyle: And wouldn't this normally be locked? Brown: Well, people are bringing stuff in and out. Someone must have forgot to lock it. Foyle: You were downstairs when the meeting broke up yesterday, weren't you? Brown: Well, I was, er, I was at the door. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Do you remember, by any chance, which of us came out first? Brown: Well, I can't be certain because I wasn't there the whole time. Er, erm... The Yank. Major Kieffer. Yes, he was the first one out. Yes, I can tell you that for sure. Foyle: And you'd remember that because...? Brown: Well, because- well, I saw him and I heard him. And, er, then I went along the corridor. Call of nature, if you must know, and then the, the next person I saw was, er... Mr Griffiths. Foyle: Mm-hmm. And there was a woman, as well, came out around the same time as me. You remember her? Brown: No, I didn't see her. No. Milner: Were any of them carrying anything that looked suspicious when they left? Brown: You mean like a great big fishing Knfe? No, I didn't see. Staircase. Milner and Foyle are walking back down. Milner: He was klled on his way home with a Knfe taken from the museum. It seems probable that it was someone in the meeting. Foyle: So that's Kieffer, Longmate, Longmate's secretary... Milner: And Griffiths. From Ziegler's appointment book, he saw him on Friday. The notes mentioned blood pressure and stress. He was prescribed sleeping pills. Foyle: Really? Sam, Foyle and Milner drive up in front of the Griffiths house. There's an ambulance parked outside, and two men are just bringing out a covered body on stretcher. Milner: What happened? Ambulance Man: It's a su1c1de. He took pills. Milner: Mr Griffiths? Ambulance Man: Yes. Milner: Who authorised the removal of the body? Ambulance Man: I've no idea, guv. But it's all cut and dried. He left a note, apparently. And, quite frankly, I've got a party to get to. No one's hanging around here. Foyle and Milner head into the house. Inside. The two of them are in the sitting room with Eunice. Milner is holding the note. Milner: And this is definitely your son's handwriting? Eunice: Yes, it is. Milner: And this was on the kitchen table when you came down this morning? Eunice: I've already told you. Milner: "It wasn't me. I wasn't responsible. I'm sorry, I can't live with this." Foyle: This is obviously a... very great shock for you. He sighs. Eunice: The wr's over. He came through it. And then he has to do this. What's the point? Foyle: Wasn't responsible for what? What do you think he meant by that? Eunice: I don't know. He hadn't been the same since he came back. He wasn't eating. He was spending time down at the pub. He hardly said a word. Foyle: Since he came back from where? Eunice: Er, the West Country. He was with the Royal Signal Corps. He didn't tell me any more than that. Foyle: Name Ziegler mean anything to you? Eunice: That was Mark's doctor. The one who gave him the sleeping pills. The ones he took. Foyle: Well, once again, we're, um, very sorry. Eunice: Ooh, it doesn't make any difference. This bloody wr, it's taken everything anyway. It's taken everything we ever cared about. And people have become most strange. Somebody sent him some sand. Milner: Some sand? Eunice: An envelope full of sand. Foyle: When was that? Eunice: A few days ago. Friday. Foyle: Anything else? Eunice: He said he was being followed. Thought someone was... watching him. I thought he was just imagining things. I told you, he hadn't been the same. But there was a picture also pinned to the door. Milner: A picture? A picture of what? Eunice: It was cut out of a magazine. It was an animal. A tiger. Well, why would someone do that? A tiger? What's it meant to mean? Hylton house. Janice sets the kettle on the stove as Eddie walks in. Janice: So, did you see the doctor? Eddie: I turned up for the appointment. He weren't there. Janice: So, how are you feeling? Are you feeling better? Eddie: Why don't you tell me about her? Janice: Who? Eddie: That woman we met. In the street. Janice: I, I told you. I've never seen her before in my life. Eddie: That's not what she thought. Janice: Well, she was wrong. Look, I'm fed up of this. I've had enough of it! She goes to walk away and he grabs her. Eddie: You're lying to me, Janice. I know you are! Janice: I never met her before! Eddie: You're lying! He slaps her across the face, and she gasps in shock. Eddie: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He puts his arms around her. Eddie: I'm sorry. SSAFA. Sam is talking to a young man in uniform. Sam: You can apply for £12's worth of civilian clothing. And don't forget your demob suit. Andrew walks in the room. Sam: If you need any more information, come back any time. Soldier: Thank you, miss. He leaves. Andrew: I already have my £12. And my demob suit. Not that I think I'll be wearing it. But I was told you also gave advice. Sam: When did you get back? Andrew: Yesterday. Sam: From Debden? Andrew: No, I've been flying again. I was in Malta. Sam: How are you? Andrew: Well, I, I need someone to talk to. Sam: Well, we've plenty of leaflets. She shows him the table of them. Andrew: Yes. Yes, I can see. But I don't think I'd find the answer to my problem there. Sam: What is your problem? She sits down, and he sits opposite. Andrew: Er, well, er... it's like this, you see. I was in Hastings for a while. My squadron was only a couple of miles away. And while I was there, I... sort of fell in love. Well, no sort of about it. I met this girl and the two of us walked out for a time. Sam: Andrew, please. Andrew: And then I got sent up to this training centre. And I was promoted to Squadron Leader. But I hated it there. And the fact is, I must have been a little bit out of my mind, because I behaved like a complete cad. I broke it off with this girl. I didn't even have the nerve to tell her face to face. I wrote her a letter and told her I'd met someone else. Even though I knew the someone else wasn't a patch on her, and of course it didn't last very long. And since then, there hasn't been a day when I haven't regretted what I did... and wished I could somehow undo it and take back the hurt I know I must have caused. And that's why I'm asking your advice, you see, because... because I'm still looking for a way. Sam: I'm not sure there is a way, Andrew. Andrew: But if, if, if I saw her and told her what a fool I was, and begged her on my knees to consider? Sam: I don't think she's the sort of girl who would like begging. Andrew: Do you think she'd at least consider? Sam: Consider what? Andrew: Well, just seeing me. Spending time together, just being friends. Sam: Well, she'd have to look in the leaflets, see what they advise. He laughs. Andrew: You don't have a leaflet about love. Sam: No, but I've quite a few on desertion. Andrew: Yes, well. Well, thank you anyway. He stands up. Andrew: You know, Sam, in all this time you've hardly changed at all. Sam: Really? Andrew: But I have. He leaves. Foyle house. Foyle is just leaving the house to head out to the car. CAPTION: MONDAY 7th MAY 1945 He gets in and Sam starts driving. A pair of giggling girls run past a boy sitting on the kerb with a newspaper. The headline reads GERMANY SURRENDERS. Majestic Hotel. Sam, Foyle, Milner pull up outside in the car. They all get out. Sam: Sir, you know the man you're going to see? Foyle: Mm-hmm. Sam: Martin Longmate. He owns the hotel, doesn't he? Foyle: He does. Sam: I think you ought to know, I, I applied for a job with him to be his personal assistant. Foyle: Did you? Did you get it? Sam: I don't think so. Foyle: Well, maybe best not to accept it anyway, not just yet. Thank you. He and Milner head into the hotel. Hotel lounge. Kieffer walks in and spots Foyle and Milner. Kieffer: Well, well, well! Come to say goodbye? Foyle: You're leaving? Kieffer: That's right. I got my 85 points. That earns me a ticket on the good ship Aquitania heading for New York. Foyle: I'm not sure that's gonna be possible. Kieffer: And why's that? Foyle: Well, you probably know about Ziegler. Kieffer: Sure. But you're not gonna tell me I had anything to do with that, right? I mean, I hardly even knew the man. Foyle: You may not know about Griffiths. Kieffer: What about him? Foyle: He's dad. Kieffer: dad? Foyle: Sit down. They all take seats.. Kieffer: Since when? Foyle: Saturday night. Kieffer: How? Foyle: An overdose. Kieffer: Well, why would he do that? Foyle: Well, I thought you might be able to tell me. Kieffer: I can't tell you anything. But maybe it's pretty obvious. Ziegler and Griffiths, they died on the same day, right? So maybe Griffiths klled Ziegler. I don't know why. You can find that out. He klled him, then he regretted it and he took his own life. Foyle: He left a note. Kieffer: Yeah? Foyle: "It wasn't me, I wasn't responsible." That's all it said. Kieffer: Well, there you are, it's a confession. Foyle: How well did you know him? Kieffer: I never met him before in my life. Foyle: Well, for a man you never met, er, he seemed to have quite an effect on you. Kieffer: He was the boring head of a boring committee, I think we all felt the same. Foyle: And how did you get to be on that committee? Kieffer: As a matter of fact, I volunteered. I was klling time. Foyle: After you'd finished in Devon? Kieffer: Yeah. Foyle: And that is it you were doing in Devon? Kieffer: What is this, the third degree? He stands up. Kieffer: Look, Christopher, I'd like to help you, I really would, but you know I can't. The others stand up too. Foyle: And I can't let you leave. You know that. Kieffer: You think you can stop me? I have a wife. I have two sons that I haven't seen in over three years. Foyle: I'm sorry. Kieffer: I thought we were friends, Christopher. Foyle: Well, so did I. A woman approaches them. Woman: Mr Longmate is ready to see you now. Foyle: Thank you. Longmate's office. Longmate: I have to say, this is a terrible business. Almost unbelievable. He heads round to his desk, passing Janice Hylton who stands nearby. Longmate: A mrder, now of all times! Foyle and Milner are bot there. Longmate sits down and sighs. Longmate: Well, have you made any progress? Foyle: Er, perhaps. Erm, just a couple of things, if you don't mind. Janice looks at Longmate, and he gives her a nod. Janice: Excuse me. She goes to leave. Longmate: Well, anything I can do to help. Foyle: You first met Doctor Ziegler when? Longmate: The same time as you, at the, er, committee. Foyle: You were never a patient of his, then? Longmate: No. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Er, what's the matter with your eyes, if you don't mind me asking? Longmate: I beg your pardon? Foyle: I remember you telling Doctor Ziegler your eyesight was the, er, reason you were exempt from the armed forces. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but, er, you're not wearing glasses and, er, you didn't seem to have a problem reading at the meeting. Longmate: Well, er... I might as well come clean. Actually, er, I lied. The real reason why I was exempted was angina. I have a heart condition. Foyle: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Longmate: And I want to go into politics, Mr Foyle. Do you think the people of Hastings would vote for someone with a weak heart? Foyle: You feel they'd sooner vote for someone who lies? Longmate: Oh, I think you're being a little harsh. The next election may be tougher than anyone thinks. I just don't want to give my political opponents any ammniton, that's all. He stands up. Longmate: Look, I'm well enough to stand for parliament, I know I am. I want to serve my country, Mr Foyle. That may sound hopelessly old-fashioned, but I'm not gonna let this chance pass me by. Lounge. Foyle and Milner are just leaving. Milner: Sir, did you notice the woman leaving his office just then? Foyle: His assistant. Milner: Mmm. I met her a few days ago with Edith. They were both patients of Doctor Ziegler. Foyle: Oh. Know what he was treating her for? Milner: No, but I have a pretty good idea. Foyle's office. Sam and Milner are both in the room with Foyle. Sam: Well, it's got to be one of them. Major Kieffer or Martin Longmate. They were both in the room. Or it could have been that curator chap, I suppose. Milner: Michael Brown. Foyle: Could have been me. Sam: Didn't like to mention it, sir. Foyle: What did you find out about, um, Griffiths' military service? Milner: Nothing, sir. It's all definitely hush-hush. I made a few calls, but it's a brick wall. But he was in the West Country. Foyle: As was Kieffer. Has your letter arrived, by the way? Milner: My promotion? Foyle: Mm-hmm. Milner: No, sir. Still no news. Sam: Can't you give them a call, sir? Chivvy them on a bit. Foyle: No, it'll come. Milner: Er, with your permission, I'd like to talk to Mrs Hylton while you're away. Foyle: Certainly. Sam: Where are you going, sir? Foyle: London. You're about to run me to the station. Sam: Can I ask why you're going to London, sir? Foyle: Course you can. He walks out. London. Foyle walks along a street, and then through a park. Hilda Pierce stands waiting to meet him. Foyle: Miss Pierce? Pierce: Mr Foyle. I was very surprised to be getting your call. Foyle: Well, I was very surprised to be making it, quite honestly. She laughs. Pierce: How's Hastings? The two of them walk on together. Foyle: Much the same as here, I'd imagine. We're just waiting. Pierce: The end of the wr. I understand Churchill and Stalin are negotiating the exact moment to announce it. Meanwhile, I can reliably inform you that you can expect an announcement on the wireless this evening. They both sit down on a bench. Foyle: What, that it's over? Pierce: No. The Ministry of Information is going to announce that there'll be an announcement tomorrow. In other words, the announcement of the announcement. Good to see the spirit of Colonel Blimp is still alive and well. You said you wanted my help. That makes a pleasant change. Foyle: Well, since you've been so very, er, unhelpful on two separate occasions during the course of the wr so far, I thought I'd give you the opportunity to make up for it. Pierce: Point taken. Foyle: I just need some information. Pierce: Go on. Foyle: Sometime last year, maybe this, in the west of England, Devon perhaps, something happened. A naval operation involving the Americans on a beach, maybe. Pierce: Can you be a little more specific? Foyle: Well, no. I just have one name. Griffiths. Mark Griffiths, Royal Signals. Pierce: You've made inquiries? Foyle: Nobody will talk to me. Pierce: What makes you think they'll talk to me? He gives her a look. She sighs. Pierce: I'll need a couple of hours. They both stand up. Foyle: All right. Pierce: Er... Where will you be? Foyle: Wherever you like. Pierce: How about Whitehall? Kingly Street should be quiet enough. You've seen. There are crowds everywhere. All waiting for the end. Everyone's out there celebrating, and here are you and I, still stuck in the shadows. Foyle: Well, I thought you liked the shadows. Pierce: Five o'clock. Good to see you again. They walk off in different directions. Hylton house. Milner walks up to the house. Inside. Janice opens the door. Milner: Mrs Hylton? Janice: Yes. Milner: Sergeant Milner, Hastings Police. I've come about Doctor Ziegler. Janice: Well, you'd better come in. Milner: Thank you. They walk through into the dining room and sit at the table. Milner: Are you on your own? Janice: No, my husband Eddie's upstairs, asleep. Milner: Demobbed? Janice: Yeah, he was in Italy. Milner: You don't remember meeting me, do you? Janice: No. Milner: I was with my wife, Edith. She's pregnant. Janice looks over her shoulder nervously. Milner: Your husband doesn't need to know anything about this, but I do. Janice: Please. Milner: When you met my wife at Doctor Ziegler's surgery, you were heavily pregnant. Where is the baby? Janice: She's with my mother. Milner: And your husband has no idea? Janice: Oh, he suspects. He knows something's not right, but... I do love him. But he's been away for four years. I was on my own. I wish it hadn't happened, but it did. And now he's back, and I've been tearing myself apart. I can't tell him, he'd kll me. Milner: But Doctor Ziegler knew. Janice: I was terrified he'd tell Eddie about me, about me and the baby. Milner: Is that why you went to the museum? To see him? Janice: No. I went to see Martin. Mr Longmate. He's the father. Milner: Right. Janice: We didn't mean for it to happen. He was on his own, too. His wife had died in a bmb raid. I felt sorry for him, and... one night we were working late... Milner: Does he know the baby's his? She nods. Janice: He wanted to get rid of it. But I couldn't do that. So then he said he knew people. Said he could arrange for it to be adopted. And that's what we were gonna do. Milner: But then your husband came home. Janice: I've been so scared. I don't want to lose him, I couldn't bear that. If he finds out... Eddie mentioned he was seeing Doctor Ziegler. I panicked. I had to talk to someone, and I thought Martin would know what to do. So I went to the museum. But it was too late. Milner: You didn't see Mr Longmate? Janice: No. He'd already gone. Milner: That's all I need to know. He stands up. Janice: Will you be coming back? Milner: Er, no. I have everything. I'll see myself out. He leaves. A moment later, Eddie walks out from the door behind Janice. Eddie: I heard. Everything. As Janice cries, he comes over and kneels by her, clasping her hand. London. Foyle walks along a busy street. Pierce crosses the road to join him, carrying some paperwork. Pierce: You like to inhabit dangerous territory, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Well, not by choice. Pierce: Well, this time, even you should tread carefully. I've stuck my neck out for you, and I have to say, I felt a very cold breeze indeed. Operation Tiger, does that mean anything to you? Foyle: Might. Pierce: Slapton Sands in Devon. Foyle: What happened there? Pierce: Nothing happened there. That's the official verdict, and that's how the way it shall remain for many years to come. Foyle: Unofficially? Pierce: You never spoke to me, I never gave you this, and it would be better if nobody ever found out you knew anything about it. Foyle: All right. Pierce: Just remember, a wr always hides a great many dirty secrets. This has been a long wr... She hands him an envelope. Pierce: And this secret's very dirty indeed. They walk off in opposite directions, Foyle tucking the envelope into his pocket. Police station reception area. Milner and Foyle walk in together. Milner: He wanted her to get rid of it, but she refused, so he was going to get it adopted. It turns out Martin Longmate's not as straightforward as he seems. Foyle: Was he ever? Heading into the back, they pass Brooke and a group of other officers laughing together. Foyle: Sergeant. Brooke looks round. He's holding a newspaper with the headline. Foyle: What's going on? Brooke: Oh, nothing, sir. It's, er, in the... It's just, er, that cartoon, sir. You probably don't read it. Jane. Foyle: Jane, right. Not a stitch on today, I see. You'd probably noticed that. Brooke: Yes, sir. The lads and I were just commenting on it. He opens the paper to the Jane comic strip. Brooke: I suppose it's, er, to mark the end of the wr. Foyle: Well, not a moment too soon, if that's anything to go by. Brooke: Right, sir. Er, we're just off to Wilder Road, take a peek at the new HQ. Foyle: I should. As the group leave and Foyle and Milner continue into the back, Edith Milner comes hurrying, holding out an envelope. Edith: Paul! It's here. Milner takes the envelope and looks at it for a moment. Foyle: I should open it. Milner opens the envelope and reads the letter. He looks over at Foyle, then at Edith, nodding. Milner: I've got it. Edith: Darling! He laughs as they embrace. Foyle smiles and turns to head into his office, but then Milner straightens up. Milner: Sir. Thank you. Foyle: Congratulations. Edith: Ooh! She clutches her middle. Milner: Edith? Edith: Oh, I came here at such a pace, I... Paul, I think it's coming! Milner: Er... chair. He goes to grab one from the nearest room. Foyle turns to the officer behind the desk. Foyle: Get Brooke back, will you? He nods and hurries away. Milner brings the chair over for Edith and she sits down. Foyle: What's the, erm, hospital number? Edith groans in pain. Milner: Er, 383. Where's Sam? Foyle goes over to the phone and dials. Foyle: She's, um, with the Servicemen's Association this morning. Edith: Oh, I'm sorry, Paul. Milner: Don't worry. Edith: Ooh! Foyle sighs. The desk officer returns. Desk Officer: Missed him, sir. Foyle: Never mind. Thank you. Damn. He cancels the call and dials again. Edith's still groaning. Milner looks up at Foyle. Foyle hangs up the phone, nods to him, and goes over to the wall cupboard where the car keys are kept. He takes one from its hook and shuts the cupboard again. Car. Milner and Edith are in the back together. Milner: All right? Edith breathes and groans in pain. Milner: That's it. We're nearly there. In the front, it's revealed to be Foyle who's driving. Milner (offscreen): Nearly there. They pull up outside the hospital and Foyle and Milner get out. One of the nurses hurries over as Milner helps Edith out. The two of them lead her towards the hospital building. Milner: Thank you, sir. Foyle: Good luck. He gets back in the car and drives away. Majestic Hotel. CAPTION: TUESDAY 8th MAY 1945 Hotel lounge. Foyle slaps the envelope Pierce gave him down on the table in front of Kieffer. Foyle: I think it's time you explained. Kieffer: If it's all in there, what else do you want to know? Foyle: I want to hear it from your point of view. I wasn't there. Kieffer: It was a training exercise at Slapton Sands, for the landings at Utah Beach. Operation Tiger. A year ago, April 28. Recorded footage of amphibious trucks. Kieffer (voiceover): I'd been transferred to the amphibious truck company, working on floating harbours and LSTs. Landing ships, tnk, that kind of stuff. Cut back to the hotel lounge. Kieffer: I was billeted with the 4th Infantry division. I got to know a lot of the boys. Footage of American troops. Kieffer (voiceover): That's what most of them were. Just kids. A few years older than my own. Cut back to the hotel lounge. Kieffer: Anyway, you know, one night, right in the middle of an exercise... nine German E-boats came out of nowhere. And there was a whole fleet of LSTs, just sitting there, right in front of them. So they opened fre. 749 of our soldiers and sailors klled. It was all hushed up. They had to think about morale. So why did nobody warn the kids on the LSTs that the Germans were on their way? Well, I'll tell you. They did. Flashback to someone tapping out a message in Morse code. Kieffer (voiceover): But it turned out there'd been a typing mistake. A man speaks into a microphone and turns radio dials. Kieffer (voiceover): Someone had sent out the wrong radio frequency. Cut back to the hotel lounge. Kieffer: Just a couple of misplaced numbers, that's all. So no one on the LSTs heard anything, and all those people died. Foyle: And that was Griffiths. Kieffer: Took me a year to find out. Talking to the right people. Asking a lot of questions about something that wasn't supposed to have happened. But he was the one responsible. Griffiths was a major with the Royal Signals Corps, Allied Liaison. Foyle: He did the right thing, then, klling himself. Kieffer: No! You don't understand. I see those kids. Every night, I see them. I can't get them out of my head. Flashback to the bodies floating in the water. Cut back to the hotel lounge. Kieffer: I just wanted him to accept responsibility, that's all. I thought if he did that, then maybe I could make sense of it. Foyle: Well, the fact is nobody knows what happened. The radio frequencies were changed, the Germans noticed an increase in radio traffic. While the corvettes didn't show up, the LSTs were in the wrong formation, so whatever you may think, it wasn't one man's mistake. Kieffer: Griffiths was in charge, and at the end of it, they just shipped him out, they got rid of him. As far as he was concerned, that was the end of it. He just ran out. Foyle: And it was really worth hounding him to death? Kieffer: I didn't want him to die. That wasn't the idea, I swear to it. I don't know what I wanted. I should never have come. Foyle: Well, it's a bit late for that. Kieffer: So now what? Foyle: From the law's point of view, there's not a case against you that would stand up in a court. So you're free to go. Kieffer: So that's it, then? Foyle: I think so, don't you? He stands up to leave. Kieffer: Funny thing about wr, Christopher. People change. Or are you the only one who remained above it all? Foyle leaves. Kieffer covers his face with his hand. Beach. Sam and Andrew are walking back towards the car. Later. They sit side by side in the parked car. Andrew: So what are you gonna do with yourself, Sam? Sam: After the wr? I don't even want to think about it. But it looks as if advertising and politics are out. How about you? Andrew: I don't know. Sam: Will you stay in Hastings? Andrew: Mmm, I suppose so. I'll go fishing with Dad, and we'll spend some time together. I haven't really got anywhere else to go. Sam: Well, will you fly again? Andrew: Well, my eyesight is more or less sht to pieces with the sinusitis, so, no. I think that's finished. Sam: Well, you'll have to go into business, then. Or maybe you can join the police. Andrew: Mmm. Then you can be my driver. Sam: I don't think so! He chuckles. Andrew: That's the worst of it, Sam. This feeling I have that maybe the best of my life is over. Flying the dawn patrol. The friends I made. Even the ones I lost. How can I work in an office? Travel in and out on the 37 bus, after what I've been through? How can any of us? Sam: Maybe you could write. You used to write reams of poetry. Andrew: Well, I, I used to scribble a bit, I suppose. Sam: What was that poem you told me? Andrew: Oh, I don't remember. Sam: Oh, please, Andrew. Andrew: Well, actually, I wrote one quite recently, just before I left Malta. Sam: Go on. Andrew: I don't know if it was any good or not, but it's called "All Clear". They've sounded out the last all clear And told us, those who made it here. That very soon we'll hold once more Those things that we held dear. Yet nothing's clear to me. I gaze from darkness to a summer haze. And though they part, the clouds of wr lead only to uncertain days. Sam: Do you really think that? I think that's very sad. He groans. Andrew: Sam, I'm sorry. I- I've got to watch out for myself. I'm beginning to sound like an old man. Sam: Well, you don't look like one. Andrew: Sam, why don't we get married? Sam: What? She laughs. Andrew: I mean it. You don't know what you're going to do, I don't know what I'm going to do. Surely it makes sense to not know what we're going to do together? Sam: Is that why you invited me down here? Andrew: Don't get angry with me. Sam: I said I'd be your friend. I said I'd see you again, but that's all. It's unfair to ask for more. Especially in so unromantic a fashion. Andrew: All right. But I might as well tell you, I'm gonna work on you, Sam. Until one day you'll change your mind about me, and forgive me for being such a bloody fool. And you will marry me. Sam: Oh, yes? Andrew: If only because you'd secretly love to have my dad as your father-in-law. She laughs. Sam: Hmm. Andrew: Let's drive back and get a pint. Sam: All right. They drive away. Majestic Hotel. Longmate approaches the receptionist at the front desk. Longmate: Everything all right? She turns the guestbook around for him to sign out. Foyle walks in behind him. Foyle: Mr Longmate. Could I have a word? Longmate: Er, of course. Shall we use my office? Foyle: Probably wise. Longmate: Please, follow me. Longmate's office. He leads Foyle inside. Longmate: Is this, er, about Doctor Ziegler? Foyle: Who else? Longmate: Well, please, sit down. Foyle: Er, no, I won't stay longer than I have to. Erm, perhaps you should. Longmate: Should I? Foyle: With a heart condition like yours, you can't be too careful. Longmate: That's very considerate, but, um, I'll be fine, thank you. He pats his chest. Longmate: How can I help you? Foyle: Well, we hoped you might help with whatever you can remember about your, er, military service medical. Longmate: It was a long time ago, Mr Foyle, and, um, can't see why you'd be interested. Foyle: Some confusion about the details, apparently. Er, might you remember where it took place, for example? Longmate: Er... London, though, um, precisely where I would be less sure about. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Examining doctor, perhaps? Longmate: Afraid not. Foyle: I see. Longmate: Though there's probably a record of it somewhere, if you think it's important. Foyle: Well, there's, um, there's a record of it in my pocket. He takes it out and unfolds it. Foyle: Er, a doctor's letter recording, er, an appointment for Martin Longmate, April 23rd, 1941 at a surgery in London, Hampstead, with signed confirmation of angina and exemption from active service. Would this be your appointment? Longmate: You'll forgive me pointing out, Mr Foyle, but if you have the information, I fail to see why you're questioning me regarding it. And why on Earth you consider there to be a problem. Foyle: Well, certainly not a problem for me. It just looks as if it might be for you. Erm, it's a question of the, er, signature here of the examining doctor. Longmate: What, you're saying it's not genuine? Foyle: Er, no, far from it. I'm saying it's, er, Doctor Ziegler's. He holds the letter out to Longmate. Ziegler (voiceover): Longmate. Flashback to him and Longmate at the committee meeting. Ziegler: We've met, I think. Longmate: No, I don't think so. Ziegler: Martin Longmate. I feel sure I know the name. Longmate's office. Foyle: So why say you hadn't met? Longmate: It was four years ago, for God's sake. I do meet a lot of people. Foyle: They all give you medicals? No, a very good reason, perhaps, is because you never had. Because the Martin Longmate he examined wasn't you, was it? Longmate: You don't know what you're talking about. Foyle: He examined the man you paid £150 to take your place, who does have angina, and who had a very nice line in, er, acquiring exemption certificates for those interested in avoiding military service, until his arrest the other day. He sends his regards. Longmate is silent for a moment, then goes over to sit down behind his desk. Longmate: It was actually, er, £200. Foyle: Was it? Ah. We'll remind him. Thank you. Life, eh? Almost the end of the wr and you run into the very last person in England you want to see. Longmate: I panicked. When he asked me about my exemption, I told him it was my eyesight because if I'd said angina, he might have put two and two together. There was too much to lose, my political ambitions, my business. And then when I heard him asking to speak to you... Flashback to the committee meeting. Ziegler: Er, actually, Mr Foyle, there was one thing I wanted to talk to you about. Foyle: Yeah? Ziegler: Um, it's a private matter. Longmate stands listening in form the open door. Ziegler: I wonder if I might call in at the police station. Are you there this afternoon? Foyle: I am. Any time you like. Flashback to Longmate taking the Knfe from the display case. Longmate (voiceover): All I could think of was getting rid of Ziegler before he could talk to you. Flashback to Longmate coming up behind Ziegler in the back street. Longmate (voiceover): And that's exactly what I did. He overtakes him and steps into his path, smiling, then sab him in the gut. Ziegler groans in pain and collapses against the wall. Cut back to Longmate's office. Longmate: What gave me away? Foyle: You were the first to leave the committee room, but Kieffer was the first out of the building, according to the doorman. Longmate: Ah. Foyle: And all so unnecessary and unfortunate. Longmate: What do you mean? Foyle: Because all Ziegler wanted to speak to me about was Griffiths, who was in a very bad state. Ziegler was concerned. And unfortunate, because, er, having evaded the draft, m*rder a member of the medical profession, tried to avoid detection to feather your own nest, I'd have said you were a born politician. But, the law being what it is, hanging is perhaps the very best way you can serve your country. He leaves the office. Police station front desk. Sergeant Brooke is pouring out champagne for the other uniformed officers. Brooke: Make the most, lads. It's the bona fide French champagne. He turns round to where Sam and Milner stand behind him, and pours some out for Sam. Brooke: Well, congratulations, Mr Milner. One of the uniformed officers turns the radio on, playing low music. Foyle comes out from the back. Brooke: Just celebrating the new arrival, sir. Hope you don't mind. Foyle: Well, of course not. Boy or a girl? Milner: A girl, sir. Thank heavens. Sam: Goodbye to Winston Milner. Milner: But she wants to call her Clementine. Er, Mrs Churchill. Foyle is watching Brooke pour out the drinks. Foyle: Where's this come from? Brooke: It's from the evidence room, sir. Somehow the label came adrift and, er, sadly, we couldn't place it. Foyle: Oh, yeah? Well, congratulations. He clinks glasses with Milner. Brooke: Cheers. Sam: Congratulations. Brooke: Cheers. Radio: This is London. The policeman standing by the radio turns it up. Policeman: Sir! Sam: Cheers. Radio: The Prime Minister, The Right Honourable Winston Churchill. They all stand and listen. Churchill (radio): Yesterday morning, at 2:41am at General Eisenhower's headquarters, General Jodl, the representative of the German High Command, and our Grand Admiral Dönitz, the designated head of the German state, signed the act of unconditional surrender of all German land, sea and air forces in Europe to the Allied Expeditionary Force. Sam: It's over. I can't believe it. Milner: Sir, I'd better get back to Edith and, er... Clementine. Foyle: Of course. He shakes Milner's hand. Foyle: Good luck. Milner: Thank you, sir. Brooke: And, erm if you don't mind, sir, I promised the lads that they could join in the celebrations. It seems only right. Foyle: Absolutely. Go ahead. Brooke: Cheers, sir. Enjoy the champers. Foyle: Thank you. Brooke: Come on, lads. They all head out, leaving Sam and Foyle behind. Sam clears her throat. Sam: They said you drove Milner and his wife to the hospital, sir. Foyle: I did. Sam: But I thought you couldn't drive. Are you telling me that all these years- Foyle: Well, I've never actually ever at any time said I couldn't drive, I mean, I just preferred not to. Sam: So you never really needed me? Foyle: I wouldn't say that. Andrew comes in and comes over to the desk. Andrew: All hell's breaking loose outside. You ought to come and join us. Sam: I will. I'm going to dance all night. Andrew: Will you dance with me? Sam: I'll dance with anybody. But especially you. Andrew: You coming, Dad? Foyle: No, I'll catch you up. You go on. Andrew: All right. Sam: Are you sure? We'll never find you. Foyle: I'll make sure you do. Off you go. He heads into the back. Sam: Andrew? She holds the door for him and he follows her out. Beach. Kieffer stands looking out to sea for a while, then finally turns and heads back. Foyle's office. Foyle walks into the room, now cleared of all the furniture, to collect his coat and hat. As he puts his coat on he looks around the empty space for a moment, then he puts his hat on and leaves. He walks out through the deserted reception area and leaves the station.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "06x03 - All Clear"}	foreverdreaming
Brenchurch. A military convoy drives through the streets of the town. The covered trucks are transporting Russian POWs under guard. Lane between houses. A young boy, Matthew, is kicking a football downhill. His mother steps out from one of the gardens behind him. Mother: Matthew! Breakfast! Road. The trucks are approaching. Matthew kicks his football right out in front of one and runs after it. The truck honks its horn as it screeches to halt. In the back, the POWs are thrown around and shout and mutter in Russian. One of the two soldiers seated on guard at the back gets up to lean around the side. POW Ivan Spiakov watches him. Soldier: Come on! Get a move on! Matthew's mother runs out into the road to grab him. Mother: What the hell do you think you're doing? Matthew: My ball! Mother: You'll get yourself klled. She pulls him back out of the road. Matthew: Mum. Mother: I've told you about the football a million times. Matthew: I wanna get my ball. In the back of the truck, Spiakov exchanges looks with the POW opposite, Anton Valyshkin, who gives him a slight nod. Mother (offscreen): Football is in the park, not... Spiakov gets up and pushes the soldier who's leaning out off the back of the truck. As the other guard moves to get his wapon up, Valyshkin tackles him and then Spiakov punches him. They toss him out too, and the two of them jump out. The other POWs behind them try to join the escape, but an army sergeant rushes round to take aim at them. Sergeant: Stay where you are! Sit down! Down! Sit down! They put their hands up and back down. Spiakov and Valyshkin make a run for it and the sergeant pursues, opening fre. A woman with a baby carriage shrieks and hurries for cover. Woman: Oh! Oh, no! The POWs disappear around a corner. An officer runs up to the sergeant. Officer: Sergeant, stop fring that wapon now! Sergeant: Prisoners escaped, sir. He points after them. The two of them run down a narrow alley. Sergeant: Two prisoners down the alley. Go, go! Officer: No wapon to be used here. He points at a pair of soldiers. Officer: You two, back in the truck. Guard those prisoners. The two POWs run along the alley in duck in through an open gate. The pursuing soldiers run on past their hiding place. Then they run back out and scramble to climb over the wall. An army motorcycle drives along the alleyway after them. The POWs run across a garden and over another wall, coming out into another street. One of the army trucks is already driving up to block one end. The sergeant arrives and opens fre at them as they run downhill. Spiakov climbs another wall. Behind him, the motorcyclist and more soldiers arrive. Sergeant: Get after them, boys! Go! Valyshkin runs through a narrow gap between buildings. Sergeant (offscreen): Prisoners separating. Spiakov runs along the top of the wall and jumps down. A soldier climbs aboard one of the trucks. Soldier: Right, let's go. Go! They start driving down the street Spiakov has arrived on. He ducks behind a building to hide and they drive past. Then he hurries away. Valyshkin runs out into a street, straight into the path of one of the trucks. Officer: Stop the truck! There he is! At the double! A pair of soldiers chase Valyshkin through a graveyard. Officer (offscreen): Get him! Move it! Round the side of a house. Spiakov emerges from the back gate, pulling on a coat he's found somewhere. He grabs a bicycle left leaning against the house wall and rides off down the road. Viaduct. Valyshkin scrambles up an overgrown bank and runs across the viaduct. The two soldiers pursue. A truck drives towards him from the other direction and he comes to a halt. Soldier 1: Come on, mate. Soldier 2: That's it. The sergeant and more soldiers climb out of the truck. Sergeant: You two, with me. Soldier 2: Give up. Stand still. Soldier 1: Come on. Soldier 2: That's it. As the soldiers surround him, Valyshkin runs to climb up on the wall at the side of the viaduct. Sergeant: No, no, don't sht! Stop. Don't sht! No, no, stop, wait. Wait. He approaches Valyshkin where he stands atop the wall. Sergeant: We're sending you home. Valyshkin looks down at him, and then looks back. Sergeant: We're sending you home. Valyshkin spreads his arms. He looks up at a bird flying above. Then he jumps. OPENING CREDITS wr Office. Aide Andrew Bennet strides through the corridors carrying a file. He pushes between two senior army officers in his hurry. Brigadier Timothy Wilson's office. Wilson is looking at file photos of Spiakov. He snaps the file shut and turns around. Wilson: This is a balls-up, isn't it, Bennet? Bennet: Yes, sir. Wilson: British soldiers opening fre in an urban area. Well, thank God hardly anyone was around. Only one got away? Bennet: Yes, sir, just the one. Wilson: No sign of him since? Bennet: We may have had one sighting, sir, down on the coast near Hastings. Wilson: Hastings. He looks thoughtful. Hastings. CAPTION: JUNE 1945 A car plastered with Vote Labour posters drives through the street outside Foyle's house. It passes Maurice Jones, walking along with a stack of flyers. Maurice waves to the driver as he goes by. Maurice: Ah. Maurice Jones, Labour Party. He gives a flyer to a woman just coming out of her house. Woman: Good morning, Mr Jones. Very nice to meet you. Maurice: And you. Woman: Thank you. He walks on, passing another woman. Maurice: Good morning, madam. Maurice Jones, Labour Party. Remember the name. We'll need every vote on July the 5th. I wonder if I could count on your support? Woman: Not me. I'm with Winnie. Maurice: Right. He walks on, reaching Foyle's house just as Foyle is coming out. Maurice: Morning, sir. Foyle: Good morning. Maurice: Maurice Jones, local candidate for the Labour Party. Foyle: Are you really now? Maurice: I was wondering if I could count on your support. Foyle: D'you know, I've been wondering the same thing. Maurice: Would you care for some literature? Sets out the need for a new start. He hands Foyle a flyer. Foyle: Well, with, erm, rationing and the... Maurice: I think you'll find Labour has all the answers. Foyle: ...huge paper shortage, best not, perhaps, don't you think? He hands the flyer back and walks on down the road. Senior Officer (voiceover): Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle, I think we all owe you a vote of gratitude. Foyle sits in front of a panel of three senior police officers. Foyle: Well, that's, er, uncommonly decent of you but I'm not here to be thanked. Senior Officer: How is the new station? Foyle: The new station is delightful apart from the fact that I don't want to be in it. I resigned. Senior Officer: I'm aware of that. Senior Officer 2: It was very good of you to return after your predecessor... Foyle: Died. Senior Officer 2: In very unfortunate circumstances. Foyle: Well, it's my experience that most deaths are unfortunate, but all of that that was some considerable while ago. I'd like to know why I'm still there and where my replacement is. Senior Officer: Mr Foyle, you have to understand we have two problems. The first is a chronic shortage of staff, particularly at a senior level. We lost a great many men to the wr and they're only just beginning to trickle back. Finding someone to take your place will take time. Foyle: Well, you've had the time. Senior Officer: But there's another problem. Put simply, you're a hard act to follow. Senior Officer 2: Can we not persuade you to think again, Foyle? You've been remarkably successful in Hastings and indeed along the whole south coast. Ha. You're too young to retire. Foyle: Well, retirement has nothing to do with it. I resigned. I returned temporarily to help with what I could see was a difficult situation, but the wr is over. I'd now like to be remarkably successful somewhere else. Senior Officer: That might well be the case, but, but right now there is no one else. Foyle stands up. Foyle: Four weeks. After that, no matter what, I'll be going. Redwood Lodge, the estate of Sir Leonard Spencer-Jones. Sam rides a bicycle through the grounds up to the house, passing the young gardener, Nikolai Vladchenko. They exchange waves and Sam heads inside. Kitchen. Sam sets a string shopping bag down on the table. She takes a book out of it, then goes over to one of the cupboards. She takes out a tin and brings it over to the table. It contains several folded banknotes, and she adds some money from her purse to it before putting it back. Studio. Sir Leonard is sorting through figure drawings on a table. Sam enters with the book. Sam: I posted your letters for you, Sir Leonard, and this is the book you wanted. I'm afraid there's still only lamb in the shop, so it's chops. Again. Sir Leonard: Thank you, Miss Stewart. One of the sketches in front of him is a nude drawing of Sam. Seeing it, she turns away and moves to leave. Sir Leonard: What do you think of this? He's holding an unframed painting of a dove with an olive branch. Sam comes over to look. Sam: Hmm. It's beautiful. Sir Leonard: It was given to me by the artist, Karel Fleischer. I met him in Antwerp. He died in Buchenwald. We may have won the wr but there's still so much to be done. Sam: I'm sorry, was he a friend of yours? Sir Leonard: An acquaintance. He sets the painting down and moves way. Sir Leonard: I have some letters for you to type for me, Miss Stewart. He hands her the letters. Sir Leonard: And this afternoon I thought we might get back to our other work. Sam: Oh, yes? Sir Leonard: You still feel uncomfortable? Sam: No! Not really. Sir Leonard: No need to be. Thank you for the book. Sam: By the way, Sir Leonard, I wanted to remind you, I'm taking the whole of Sunday off. Sir Leonard: Yes, that's fine. Lunch at one? Sam: Right. She leaves. Outside. Nikolai is watering cabbages. Sam walks over to join him. Sam: Niko! I don't suppose you managed to dig up any potatoes, did you? Only there were none in the shops. Nikolai: The shops were hempty? Sam: Empty with an E. Empty. But, yes. Queues everywhere, nothing to queue for. Don't know why people bother. Nikolai picks up a basket. Nikolai: Potatoes. Sam: Perfect. D'you ever think about going home, Niko? Nikolai: This is my home now. Sam: Yes, but don't you want to get back to your family? He shakes his head. Nikolai: I am happy here. And you, Sam? You are happy too? Sam: I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing stuck here. But it's either here or Leominster, so... She turns to head back to the house. Sam: Lunch at one. Nikolai: One? Sam: One o'clock! Thanks. New Hastings police station. Brigadier Wilson sits opposite the building in a parked car, reading a newspaper. His driver, Shapps, points as he spots Foyle approaching the building. Shapps: Sir. Wilson: That's him. He gets out. Wilson: You can wait for me here, Shapps. He heads towards the building. Inside. Wilson walks through the busy station. Foyle's office. He's looking through documents over by the window. There's a knock at the door behind him. Policeman: Sir? Foyle: Yes. An officer holds the door for Wilson to enter the room. Foyle turns round and sees him. Wilson: Foyle. Foyle: Brigadier. Wilson: It's very, very good to see you again after all these... what is it? 27 years, and far from pleasant circumstances last time we met. Well, you've done well for yourself. No, congratulations, Foyle. I always knew you'd go far. Foyle: As far as Hastings. Wilson: No, no, no. That's why I promoted you when I had the privilege to have you under my command. Erm, may I? He goes to sit down. Foyle: Well, of course. Take it this, er, is not a social visit. Wilson: Oh, that was always the way. Straight to the point. But, er, have you seen any of them, Foyle? Foyle: Lowe was here. He was at my wedding. Wilson: Lowe? Foyle: Ian Lowe. Er, he was blind. Wilson: Ah, yes. And here we are... He sighs. Wilson: Just gone through the whole thing again. Foyle: Mmm. Wilson: But you have a son? Foyle: In London. He's come through it all right. Wilson sighs in relief. Wilson: I'm very glad. And I won't take up your time, Foyle. Well, you're quite right, of course. I'm here on wr Office business. I'm looking for this man. He takes out the file photo of Spiakov and shows it to Foyle. Wilson: Erm, Ivan Spiakov. Russian. From Georgia originally. Fought with the Germans against us, captured in Normandy. Foyle: What makes you think he's here? Wilson: Well, he was in Brenchurch two days ago when he slipped out of our hands. We believe he was heading west, and it's absolutely vital that we find him. Foyle: One escaped prisoner. Wilson: Oh, Spiakov is a troublemaker. Hah. An agitator. At the moment we have more than twelve hundred Russian POWs in England. They all fought on the German side. And some of them... Well, to describe them as animals wouldn't be putting it too strongly. Did you hear what happened in the village of Saint-Donat? June the 15th last year. German reprisal against the Resistance. They sent the Russians in. Ooh, it was a bloodbath. 53 women rped, and all the rest of it. Foyle: This man was there? Wilson: Oh, no, no, no. I just want you to understand what these people roused are capable of. We're trying to get them out of the country quietly, peacefully and he's determined to whip them up against us. Foyle: I'm not sure how I, er... Wilson: Oh, I came to you, Foyle, because you know this area. You can find him. If he's still here, which I have every reason to believe he is. Well, he had no money, nowhere else to go. But, er, more to the point, I can trust you to keep it under your hat. Report to me directly. Now, we don't want to scare the local populace. So, er, might I ask you to use your men, your resources? Foyle: Er, of course. Wilson: Good man. I knew I could count on you. Well, you can contact me at the wr Office. Er, please let me know as soon as you have any news. And... it'd be good to have a proper chat one day. He leaves. Sir Leonard's estate. Nikolai is pushing a wheelbarrow through the grounds. Spiakov hisses to him through the undergrowth. Spiakov: Psst. Nikolai stops for a moment, then moves on. Spiakov: Psst. This time Nikolai goes over to investigate, and sees Spiakov. Nikolai: Ivan! Spiakov holds up a finger to shush him. Nikolai rushes forward and hugs him. The two of them speak in Russian. Nikolai (subtitled): What are you doing here? Spiakov (subtitled): I need your help. Nikolai (subtitled): Why, what's happened? Spiakov (subtitled): You're in danger. We are all in danger. Nikolai (subtitled): What are you talking about? Spiakov (subtitled): Nikolai, listen to me. You have to get out of here. You have to go to London. To the Russian House. Nikolai (subtitled): What is the Russian House? Spiakov (subtitled): I'm going there. But I need food. I need money. Nikolai (subtitled): I have no money. Spiakov jerks his head towards the house. Spiakov (subtitled): Please. Nikolai looks at the house, then back at him. Milner's house. He sits at the table, reading a newspaper. Edith picks up the teapot from the table. Edith: Let me make you some more tea. Milner: Er, no, I'm all right, thank you. He checks his watch and stands up. Milner: Erm, I have to be on my way. Edith: You never talk about your work. Milner: There's not much to tell. Edith: Go on, I'm interested. Milner: Well, we had a school broken into last week. The staff lost two months' tea money. And there've been a couple of late-night smash and grabs. Edith: Shouldn't turn off the streetlights. Milner: Saves fuel. Sometimes I think I'm just klling time. Edith: You're missing Hastings. Milner: No. No, I'm not. I like being here with you. I like Brighton. And it was time to move. You wait and see. Edith: What? Milner: Things are going to change, Edie. There are ex-servicemen pouring back into the country, gn everywhere. And what with all these shortages. Edith: You want to prove yourself. Milner: I want to show that I can manage. Edith: Without Mr Foyle. Bradley house. Tom Bradley, a returning soldier, approaches the building. He stands for a moment outside the front door. His brother Joe, also in an army uniform, opens it and sees him. Joe: Tom. Tom: Joe. Joe: Am I glad to see you. Come in. Inside. Joe pours Tom some tea. Joe: So, how was it? Tom: Bloody shambles. All of it, start to finish. Joe: You wanna talk about it? Tom: No. You were well out of it, Joe, believe me. Joe: I wanted to be where you were, Tom. I'd have given anything. Tom: Well... you were the one who inherited Dad's flat feet. Joe laughs. Joe: And you were the one that got all the gongs. Tom: Oh, yeah? Africa Star, Italy Star. Got them for showing up. Joe: And what did I get? Four years wet-nursing a bunch of Jerries. Tom: What are they like? Joe: Oh, they weren't too bad. A bit surly some of them. But good workers. We had a bunch of them draining the land up at Ted Walker's place. Tom: Old Ted. Don't tell me he's still in the land of the living. Joe: So, what are you gonna do, Tom, now that you're back? Tom: I hoped you'd put me up for a bit. Joe: Course. You're welcome. Are you gonna see Mum and Dad? Tom: In time. I've got to find work. Joe: Any thoughts? Tom: Yeah, I thought I'd see Spencer-Jones. Sir Leonard, you know. He'll give me my old job back. Joe: You sure about that, Tom? Tom: What d'you mean? Joe: Well, things have changed. A lot of water's gone under the bridge since you went away. Tom: No, he'll see me right. He promised. I'll see him tomorrow. Joe: And now? Tom: A bit of shuteye. I'm knackered. Joe: I'll leave you to it. It's good to see you, Tom. Tom: Good to be back. Joe leaves. Joe sits quietly for a while, and sighs. Brenchurch. Foyle drives through the streets. Outside Brenchurch police station. Foyle walks along with a uniformed police sergeant. Sergeant: I was wondering when they'd send in a senior officer, sir. Foyle: Well, sorry to disappoint. I haven't been sent in. Sergeant: Someone ought to have an inquiry. You can't have a sht in a civilian population. It's like the wild west. Redwood Lodge, kitchen. Sam is clearing away dishes from a meal. She sees that the cupboard is slightly open and the money tin has been left on the side. She picks it up with a rattle, and tips the contents out on the table. Only coins are left. The notes are all gone. Brenchurch. Foyle and the police sergeant are showing Spiakov's picture to Matthew's mother, and then to Matthew. They both shake their heads. As Matthew points off at something behind Foyle, the sergeant beckons an older woman over to join them. Redwood Lodge grounds. Nikolai is sitting smoking by the vegetable beds. Sam walks out to join him. They both wave to a car just arriving. Sam: Niko. She sits down opposite him and clears her throat. Sam: Have you been into the kitchen since lunchtime? Nikolai: No, Miss Stewart. Sam: Well, someone has. Niko, I hate having to ask you this. You know the tin where I keep the housekeeping? Nikolai: I didn't take it. Sam: But you know it's been taken. Do you know who took it? Nikolai: You have to help me. They are going to take me away. Sam: What do you mean? Look, I, I don't know what you're going on about, but you can't just help yourself to the housekeeping. Who took it? Nikolai: A friend. I met him in camp. He has gone to the Russian House. He tell me I have to go there too. Sam: What Russian House? Nikolai: In London. He says it's where I will be safe. He tell me I have to go there too. He tell me they come for me, they take me. He stands up and walks away to toss his cigarette down. Sam follows him. Sam: Niko. Listen to me. Trust me. Nobody's going to take you anywhere. I promise you. I won't let them. There was £5 in that tin. You can't just give it away. We're going to have to tell Sir Leonard. Brenchurch. Foyle and the police sergeant are just speaking with the woman with the baby carriage who witnessed the shting. Foyle: Thank you very much. So, there were two of them. Sergeant: Apparently, sir. Foyle: What happened to them? Sergeant: I heard they headed off towards the old viaduct. Riverbank. Foyle walks along the bank, passing a man with a fishing rod. Foyle: Afternoon. Fisherman: Afternoon. He follows Foyle. Fisherman: You from the papers then? Foyle: No. Why would you ask that? Fisherman: I thought I might have read something sometime but there's been nothing. 'Cause I saw it, you know. Foyle: Did you? Fisherman: Yeah, I was just down there. Foyle: Two Russians escaped from a convoy as far as I understand it. Fisherman: Two of them, you say? No, I only saw one, poor sod. Flashback to Valyshkin running along the riverbank towards the viaduct, two soldiers in pursuit. A truck approaches. Down on the riverbank, the fisherman is watching. Fisherman (voiceover): He was trapped, you see. There was a truck following him and a whole squad of soldiers. One of them called out to him. Soldier (offscreen): Give up. It's over. Cut back to the present. Fisherman: He wasn't having any of it. He just... stood there for a minute, and then he did it. Foyle: He did what? Fisherman: He jumped. Flashback to the fisherman watching as Valyshkin jumps. Cut back to the present. Foyle: So he klled himself, is that what you're saying? Fisherman: In broad daylight. Threw himself off the edge. Russky, you say? Foyle: So I believe. The fisherman tuts. Fisherman: Well, he's a dad Russky now, poor sod. Why do you think he'd do a thing like that? Foyle: Good question. Bradley house. Tom comes down the stairs in a suit. Joe walks in and sees him. Joe: Look at you, dressed up to the nines. Tom: Think I look all right? Joe: You really want this job, don't you? Tom: Well, I've got to get back to work. There's not much else around. Joe: You should go back in the Army. Tom: Got to be kidding. How much longer are you going to keep up this malarkey? Joe: Search me. Still got Jerries, Russkies, even a few Eyeties. They've all got to go home. Then maybe I can pack it in too. Tom checks his watch. Tom: I ought to be going. Joe: You want some toast? Tom: Er... no. Joe: Good luck, Tom. Tom: I shouldn't need that, should I? He leaves. Sir Leonard's studio. Sir Leonard is working on a big painting while Sam and Nikolai stand behind him. Sir Leonard: Who was this man? Nikolai: Ivan. I meet him in the camp. Sam: Met him. Nikolai: Yes. Sam: They were prisoners together. Nikolai: Before they released me. Before I come here. Sir Leonard: It was wrong of you to give him the money. I hope you understand that. The money wasn't yours to give. This talk of you being forced to do anything against your will is arrant nonsense. The wr is over. You're a citizen of an Allied country under Home Office jurisdiction, and I see absolutely no reason why you shouldn't be allowed to stay here as a residential alien. Sam: They can't force him to go home. Nikolai: I want to stay here. Sir Leonard: Well, I've been in touch with a man at the Home Office. I'll write to him again and get this whole business sorted out. I'm not without influence. And I've also written to Walter Hardiman, my solicitor, and I can assure you we're not going to let this go. Nikolai: Thank you, Sir Leonard. You are very kind. You and Miss Stewart. You have been very kind to me. There's a knock at the door. Sir Leonard: I'm not expecting anyone. Sam: I'll see who it is, Sir Leonard. She goes to open the door. Tom Bradley is outside. Sam: Yes? Study. Tom stands in front of Sir Leonard. Sir Leonard: I'm sorry, Tom. Tom: But you promised. Sir Leonard: That was six years ago. I said I would do what I could. Tom: You said you'd keep my job open for me. Anytime. You said. I went to wr. Sir Leonard: And I'm very glad to see you back again. I'll of course do what I can for you. Tom: You lied to me. You'll do nothing. He leaves. Behind Sir Leonard, Sam is watching them through the glass door. A street in Hastings. Foyle descends a set of stairs and enters a basement café. Elsa (offscreen): Mr Foyle! Now there's someone I haven't seen for a long time. Elsa Constantin is behind the counter. Elsa: You want a drink? Foyle: Thank you. I've heard about the coffee. Elsa: It's the best coffee in Hastings. The only coffee that tastes of coffee. Elsa: It's good to see you open again. Elsa: We should never have closed. No aliens allowed in Hastings during the wr. Foyle: Mmm. Elsa: So, who are you looking for? I probably haven't seen him. Foyle takes out the picture of Spiakov and shows it to her. Elsa: What's he done? Foyle: Well, nothing as far as we know. We'd just like to talk to him. Elsa: And what makes you think he'd come here? Foyle: Well, doesn't everybody, sooner or later? They certainly used to. Elsa: Yes, maybe. But not him. I haven't seen him. If he's done nothing, why do you want to talk to him? Foyle: Well, he may be in trouble. Elsa: There are a great many Russians in this country. POWs. They could all be in trouble. Foyle: Meaning? Elsa: There are rumours. Joseph Stalin wants them back, and he will not welcome them with open arms. Foyle: So they're frightened... Elsa: There is a saying. You may have heard it. The dog knows what happens to him when he steals the bacon. Until now the British government has protected them, but it is possible that that protection may be withdrawn. Foyle: Well, his name's, er, Spiakov if you felt able to ask around. Elsa: I can try. But I must tell you, Mr Foyle, right now people are not talking, not to me. And when they talk to each other, they whisper. Foyle: Do what you can. Elsa: Of course. He finishes his coffee and sets the cup down. Foyle: Good coffee. He leaves. London. Spiakov makes his way through the streets and approaches the Russian House. Inside. A man escorts Spiakov through a grand entrance hall and up a set of stairs. Lounge. Spiakov stands looking around, under the guard of Alex Anokhov. An older man, Monsieur Duveen, enters. He nods to a woman standing by, who moves forward to pour some tea. Spiakov says something in Russian. Spiakov: Monsieur Duveen? Duveen: We speak English here only, my friend. It is out of politeness to the country that has been such a generous host. The woman hands him his cup of tea. Duveen: Thank you. He says something to Spiakov in Russian. Spiakov: Yes, I speak English. Duveen: Then, yes, I am Duveen. Sit down. Spiakov takes a seat, and looks back at Anokhov behind him. Duveen: Some tea for our guest. So, have you come far? Spiakov: I was in the south, near the sea. I was in a camp. Me and a friend of mine escaped. Anokhov: Why did you come here? Spiakov: I have heard many people speaking about the Russian House. They said it is somewhere I would be safe. Duveen: The police are looking for you? Spiakov: Maybe. The police, the Army. Duveen: But what is it you think we can do for you? Spiakov: I need money. I, I, I need somewhere to hide. Anokhov leans in to stare at him from close up. Anokhov: You do not wish to return to Mother Russia? Spiakov: No. Duveen: Why? Spiakov: Because I know what happened in Odessa. The ship called the Almanzora. Anokhov exchanges a look with Duveen, then grabs Spiakov by the arm to pull him up. Anokhov: You cannot stay here. We have no room for you. And if the British authorities come looking for you- Spiakov: I have nowhere to go! Duveen raises a hand for calm. Duveen: We can arrange somewhere for you to stay. Don't worry. Food and money. Who else have you told about these things? Spiakov: There is no need to tell. They all know. Duveen: Hmm. He turns to leave the room. Anokhov: You should not stay here. We will arrange for you to be taken somewhere safe. Outside. Anokhov leads Spiakov out of the building to a waiting car, and leans in to say something to the driver. Someone watches from above as Anokhov returns to the building. Walter Hardiman's house. Sam drives Sir Leonard up to the house. Sir Leonard: D'you mind waiting here? Sam: Um, no, Sir Leonard. I'm... used to it. He gets out and walks towards the house. Study. Hardiman: Very good to see you, Leonard. Sherry? Sir Leonard: No, thank you. You got my letter? Hardiman: Er, yes. This young Russian. Nikolai... He picks up the letter. Sir Leonard: Vladchenko. Hardiman: How did you actually come across him? Sir Leonard: He was in a camp near Brighton. Then he was assigned a work detail and he ended up working in my grounds. I took a liking to him and offered him a room. He's been there ever since. Hardiman: Well, it's more than commendable, your desire to help him, but I, I must say your letter did surprise me. To adopt him? Sir Leonard: Why not? He wants to stay in this country. Hardiman: Doesn't he have parents of his own? Sir Leonard: They're quite probably dad. Anyway, he'll never see them again. Hardiman: But you have a son. Sir Leonard: Maurice and I are no longer on speaking terms. Hardiman: Even so- Sir Leonard: Maurice has got nothing to do with this. Hardiman: Leonard, forgive me, I've known you for many, many years and I know how... headstrong you can be but Maurice isn't a bad chap. To fall out over a political difference? Does it really matter so much? Back door. Maurice Jones lets himself into the house. He listens to the conversation going on in the study. Sir Leonard (offscreen): It matters to me. Everything we've fought for for the last six years? I'm not going stand back and watch it being thrown away by a government that will bring the country to its knees. Study. Hardiman: You really think that? Sir Leonard: You don't? Hardiman: You can't just cut Maurice out of your life. Sir Leonard: Let me stop you right there, Walter. I came to talk about Nikolai, not Maurice. And if you won't do what I want, let me make myself quite clear. Hallway. Maurice continues to stand listening in. Sir Leonard (offscreen): I'll find a solicitor that will. Hardiman (offscreen): Cut Maurice out of your will? Make out everything to this- Study. Sir Leonard: Yes. Hardiman: All right. If you're absolutely insistent. Sir Leonard: How long will it take? Hardiman: Well, a few days. Sir Leonard: Thank you. Hallway. Maurice is still there. Hardiman (offscreen): But I really think you're making a- Sir Leonard (offscreen): That's enough. Sir Leonard leaves the study and heads out of the front door without noticing Maurice. Hardiman stands on the doorstep as he and Sam drive off. Maurice steps up to join him. Maurice: He's really made up his mind. Hardiman: I'm sorry, Maurice. I did try. Maurice: He doesn't know what he's doing. He's senile. He heads back inside. Brighton. Foyle is walking along when Sam calls out from behind him. Sam (offscreen): Good morning, sir. He turns as she hurries to catch up. Foyle: Good morning. How are you? Sam: Very well. Foyle: How are you getting on at, erm... Sam: Sir Leonard's? Takes a little bit of getting used to. Foyle: They keeping you busy, eh? Sam: I'll say. I'm the cook, the housekeeper, the secretary, the driver and more besides. How about you? How's Brookie? Foyle: Oh, well, he just left to, er, go back up to London. Sam: Did he? That's a shame. How's the new office? Foyle: Well, I'm trying to avoid it as much as possible. Sam: But they won't let you leave? Foyle: Well, working on it. Sam: Oh. Church. Milner and Edith are outside the building with a group of others, Edith holding baby Clementine. Milner turns as Sam and Foyle arrive. Milner: Sir. Good to see you. Foyle: Milner. Good to see you too. They shake hands. Edith comes over with the baby. Foyle: Edith. Milner: Sam. Edith: How lovely to see you. Foyle: And you. Sam: She's adorable. Edith: She's wonderful. And I'm just so pleased to think of her growing up in a world without wr. Redwood Lodge. Maurice drives up and parks grounds. Grounds. Sir Leonard approaches Nikolai where he's refilling the fountain. Sir Leonard: Have you done the work on that wall? You have? Good. Maurice watches from the trees nearby as the two of them head into the building together. Edith (voiceover): I hope you'll join us for a drink afterwards, Mr Foyle. They group are walking into the church building together. Edith: We managed to hold onto a few bottles of Empire sherry. And we have a cake. Foyle: I'll be glad to. Milner: Cardboard icing. Edith: Oh, there's no icing, but the cake's real. Redwood Lodge. Tom Bradley loads a cartridge into a gn and walks forward. Church. Vicar: As we gather here today for the christening of Clementine Elizabeth Milner, it seems an appropriate moment to remember the sacrifices that have been made. The many, many lives that have been lost. Redwood Lodge. Nikolai, working in the grounds, sees an Army truck arrive. Vicar (voiceover): At times it may have seemed almost purposeless. Nikolai flattens himself against a wall, then hurries back into the house. Vicar (voiceover): Yet now here is a little girl who will be able to grow up in peace and security. Back door. Tom walks through the grounds with his gn. Sir Leonard is visible through the glass door. Vicar (voiceover): Free of the great evil that has gripped the world over the past six years. Front door. Soldiers approach the building. The one in the lead knocks. Back door. Tom halts as he sees Sir Leonard moving off to answer the knock. Vicar (voiceover): Will you pray for Clementine? Church. The gathering are still listening to the vicar. Vicar (offscreen): And by your own good example, draw her into the family of Christ? Godparents: We will. Redwood Lodge. Tom starts walking towards the building again. Vicar (voiceover): Will you support her as she walks in the way of Christ? wr Office. Andrew Benet hurries along a corridor to catch up with Brigadier Wilson. Benet: Sir. We've found him. Wilson takes a sheet of paper from him and looks at it, then sighs in relief. Wilson: Good. Church. Vicar: Will you encourage her to take her rightful place within the light of Christ's church? All: We will. Edith hands the baby over to the vicar. Hotel room at the Albion Crescent Hotel. Spiakov is lying on the bed, and sits up with a jolt as someone rams to the door and soldiers rush in. They secure his hands and lead him out. Soldier: Come on! Come on! Vicar (voiceover): Clementine Elizabeth, I baptise thee in the name of the Father. The Russian House. Duveen smokes a cigarette while Anokhov watches him from behind. Vicar (voiceover): And of the Son. Church. Vicar: And of the Holy Ghost. He pours water onto the baby. Redwood Lodge. There's a gn from inside the building, startling the birds away. Church. The baby begins to wail. Redwood Lodge. Nikolai leaves the building through the front door at a run. Outside the hotel. Spiakov is shoved into a car. Outside Redwood Lodge. Maurice gets back into his car. Outside the hotel. The hotel owner, Edna Howard, watches as the military vehicle holding Spiakov drives off. Outside Redwood Lodge. Maurice drives away. Redwood Lodge, study. The room looks like it's been ransacked. Sir Leonard lies dad on the floor. Redwood Lodge grounds. A policeman salutes as a car drives past points off towards the building. Milner gets out and approaches DC Perkins, already on the scene. Milner: Perkins. Perkins: The name's Sir Leonard Spencer-Jones, sir. Meaning anything? Milner: No. Perkins: Apparently he's an artist. I can't say I'd ever heard of him either. Not that he'll be doing any more painting. sht in the chest at close range. Milner: Who found him? Perkins: Er, he's got a housekeeper, a sort of secretary. Er, name of Stewart. Milner: Stewart? Inside. A photographer is taking pictures of the scene as Sam leads Milner and Perkins inside. Sam: I can't believe it's you, Milner. I suppose I should call you Detective Inspector Milner now. Milner: Do you have any idea what happened? Sam: No, I don't know what happened. I had the day off, as you know, for the christening. Um... Perkins goes over to look out of a window. Sam (offscreen): I spent the night in Hastings. When I came back this morning... Cut back to Sam and Milner. Sam: he was just lying there. And then I realised he'd been - well, you know - and called you. At least, I called the police. I never thought it'd be you who'd show up. It's a bit like old times. Milner: Erm, not really, Sam. Sam: No. I suppose not. Milner: The windows were open? Sam: The French windows? Yes. And the whole place was in a bit of a state. Well, like it is now. Perkins: Could have been a break-in, sir. Sam: Is he your new driver? Milner: Sam. Sam: It could have been a break-in. I had a look round, and there's definitely a one or two things missing. His wallet's gone from his desk by the front door. Sir Leonard always kept it in there. Milner: And the paintings? His paintings. Sam: What? Milner: Are they not valuable? Sam: I suppose so. Perkins: They're back through here. He points off towards the studio. Sam hastily moves in front of him. Sam: I'll show you. Studio. Sam leads the two of them down the steps into the studio. Sam: It doesn't look as though anyone's touched anything. I'm afraid he always kept the place in a bit of a mess. She quickly covers up the sketch on one of the easels and stands in front of it. Milner: We'll take an inventory to see if there's anything missing. Sam: Is that really necessary? Milner: Yes. Sam: I might have a list somewhere. Milner: No, it's all right, we'll do it. Sam. D'you know if anyone had a grudge against Sir Leonard? Sam: Do you mean did he have any enemies? Well, as a matter of fact there was one. And I'm afraid it was rather my fault. Milner: Who was that? Tom: His name was Tom Bradley. Bradley house. Tom: What we gonna do? Joe: We? Tom: We've got to go to the police. Joe: We don't have to do anything, Tom. What difference does it make? Tom: He's dad. Joe: A lot of people are dad. Millions of them. He's just one more. Tom: I should never have gone back to that bloody house. Joe: Just keep quiet about it. Nobody knows anything. Nobody's gonna find out. Tom: How can you be so sure? Joe: It'll be all right, Tom. Trust me. It'll be all right. Redwood Lodge. Sam follows Milner and Perkins through the building. Milner: Did he actually make any thrat? Sam: Er... no, not that I heard. But I know Sir Leonard was very upset. And, actually, I, I didn't feel too good myself. Perkins: You'd done him out of a job? Sam: Well, Niko and I, yes. Milner: Niko? Sam: Oh, I was gonna tell you about him. Nikolai Vladchenko. He's Russian. Milner: Well, I think I could have worked that one out. Who he is? Sam: He's been working here on the gardens and the grounds. Um, he's an ex-prisoner. The Americans caught him in Normandy and handed him over to us. Milner: And do you know where he is? Sam: He should be here. I can't understand it. Milner and Perkins exchange a look. Hastings Castle. Foyle walks through the ruins, and sees Elsa Constantin waiting for him. He walks over to join her on a bench. Elsa: It seems that I can help you, Mr Foyle. Although I wondered if I should. Foyle: Why would that be? Elsa: It is a strange thing, you know, the end of the wr. Everyone thinks that everything is going be all right. The good people won. He sits down next to her. Foyle: Never as simple as that, is it? Elsa: I never thought so and now I know it. I start asking questions for you. It brings nothing but trouble. I shouldn't even be seeing you. Foyle: Well, I noticed I didn't get invited for coffee. Elsa: Ivan Spiakov. I may have an idea where you can find him. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Elsa: There were three of them in the camp together. Ivan Spiakov, Anton Valyshkin and the youngest, a boy called Nikolai Vladchenko. The boy, Nikolai, was released early. He was only sixteen at the time. He was sent to a place near Brighton. A house called Redwood Lodge. Approach to Redwood Lodge. Foyle drives towards the estate. Elsa (voiceover): If you are looking for Spiakov it is possible you will find him there. Walter Hardiman's study. He sets the phone down, looking sombre. Maurice Jones appears in the doorway. Maurice: So you've heard. Hardiman: I don't believe it. Maurice: Somebody sht him. Hardiman: Somebody? Maurice: You don't think I had anything to do with it, do you? Hardiman: Your father was my friend, Maurice. I knew him for many, many years. Of course, what happened between you, I thought it was wrong. Maurice: You think I did it. Why, because we didn't share the same politics? Hardiman: Not politics, no. I should never have told you what he was planning. He came here in confidence. Maurice: Cut me off without a penny and put a Russian gardener in my place. Yes, I had gathered that. Hardiman: I broke his trust. Maurice: And now he's dad. Funny... how it goes. Redwood Lodge. Foyle parks near the other police cars and gets out. A uniformed policeman approaches him. Foyle: DCS Foyle. Policeman: Sir. As Foyle approaches the building, Milner and Perkins are just coming out. Milner: Chief Superintendent. Can I ask what you're doing here? Foyle: Oh, I was about to ask you the same thing. Milner: I'm afraid there's been a mrder. Foyle: Is Sam here? Milner: Sam is inside. Er, she was the one who found the body. If you came to see her I'm afraid that won't be possible right now. Foyle: Well, no, I'm, er, here to see Sir Leonard Spencer-Jones. Perkins: That won't be possible either. Foyle: I beg your pardon? Perkins: He's the one who's dad. Foyle: Sorry, you're...? Perkins: Detective Constable Perkins. Foyle: D'you know, in my day, a detective constable wouldn't dream of addressing a chief superintendent without permission, and certainly not without calling him sir. Milner: No, it's all right, Perkins. Perkins moves away. Milner: Sir, can I ask why you wanted to see Sir Leonard? I should remind you that this matter is in my jurisdiction. And if you any have information... Foyle: I don't need reminding, and I've no interest in this or any other matter within your jurisdiction. I'm here for information regarding a missing Russian. Milner: Nikolai Vladchenko. We want to talk to him too. Foyle: Is he a suspect? Milner: I'm afraid I can't tell you that. Well, It's too early to say. I've only just finished talking to Sam. I've just taken her statement. Foyle: Well, if she's just found her employer dad it sounds as if she needs a bit of support so I'll be going in, then. Milner: Yes. Follow me. He leads Foyle in. Inside. Milner approaches one of the policemen. Milner: Where's Miss Stewart? Policemen: In the studio, sir. Milner starts to head that way, and sees Foyle has stopped to look around at the ransacked room. Milner: This way, sir. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Studio. Perkins is looking at a pile of sketches that includes one of Sam. She moves to take them from him. Sam: Um, those are the more recent ones. He was sending them to the Academy. Milner arrives. Milner: Sam? She hides the sketches away in a folder. Sam: Um, I was just helping with the inventory. I'm sure there's no need to list everything. She sees Foyle behind him. Sam: Mr Foyle! What are you doing here? Foyle: Well, I'm not here because of this. Er, just a question of two incidents coinciding. Sam: Another mrder? Foyle: No, no, no. No, it's, er... One of the police walks past an easel and accidentally drags off the cloth covering it up. Foyle sees the picture and stops for a moment. He gives Sam a look, and she hides her face behind her hand. Milner: Sir, I need to know why you want to see Nikolai Vladchenko. Foyle covers the nude sketch of Sam on the easel back up before anyone else sees it. Foyle: Well, if you need to know, Milner, you only need to ask. And you're wrong, it's not Vladchenko I'm here to see, it's a friend of his, another Russian, who, as far as I'm aware at the moment, has nothing to do with any of this. Milner: Well, if he came here he could be a suspect. Foyle: I'm not at all sure he came here. Sam: Niko's friend. He did- he did come here. There was some money taken. He came and then he left. Niko told me about him. I never saw him, but his name was... Ivan Spiakov. Foyle: Answers my question. Milner: Mine too. Sir. He leaves. Sam stands around looking uncomfortable, hesitant to meet Foyle's eyes. Foyle: Interesting work. Outside. Sam (offscreen): I'd been working for him for a couple of weeks. And I liked him. She and Foyle walk along the patio together. Sam: He was very civilised. And then one day he was started talking about his work and he asked me if I'd like to pose for him. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Sam: He was going to put the sketches towards a piece that was going for the Royal Academy. Foyle: Oh, right. Sam: I mean, me, without a stitch on. Can you imagine what my father would have said? I mean, I did ask him not to. But he said it was going to be one of his best works and I ought not to be ashamed about it and... She stops walking. Sam: I was actually quite worried about it. Foyle: Well, don't be. Sam: I felt so shabby, I suppose. Foyle: Well, it's not going to happen now, is it? Sam: No. I hope not. Foyle: Shouldn't mention any of this to Milner. Sam: Why not? Foyle: Well, I don't want to put ideas into his head, but you've got a very good motive for wanting to put a bllet into this chap. Sam: You're right. Foyle: Well, I know, of course, you didn't, but... did you? Sam: No! Course not. Foyle: Just checking. She laughs. They both turn to look back towards the house. Milner is visible speaking with Perkins. Sam: He's not the same, is he, sir, Milner? They start walking back together. Sam: He was pretty unfriendly to me. And he's already decided Niko did it, which is completely unfair. Foyle: How well do you know him? Sam: Very well. He's sweet. He's only seventeen. No, I like him. Foyle: Any idea where he is? She stops walking and sighs. Sam: If I tell you, could I come with you? It's just that Niko was so frightened and I promised him I'd stand by him. This other Russian. He was here a couple of days before this happened. He was the one who took the housekeeping money. I never met him but Niko knew where he was going. It was called the Russian House. In London. Foyle: Thank you. He heads back towards the building, and she chases after him. Sam: I could drive you. Foyle: I could drive you. wr Office. Brigadier Wilson hustles along a corridor. Navy Officer: Sir. Wilson enters a conference room where a number of senior officers from various different services are gathered. Bennet turns as he enters and moves after him. Wilson: Gentlemen. This situation is completely... I have to say, I'm almost lost for words. Bennet hands him a file. Wilson: You are all aware, I imagine, of what is at stake here. We're meant to be operating in the utmost secrecy, yet here, just days apart and a few miles from each other, we have two situations. Two intolerable situations! He sits down at the head of the table. Wilson: Bennet. Bennet: Ivan Spiakov is now under close guard, sir, on the way to Liverpool where he'll be on the first ship out. Wilson: And what flak do we have from this Brenchurch escape? Bennet: Well, there were witnesses, of course, but nobody was hurt, apart from the one Russian, and we have managed to keep a lid on it. Wilson: And this business of Sir Leonard Spencer-Jones. Are we going to keep a lid on that? Man: We're taking the necessary steps. Wilson: No, the necessary steps would be to have the idiots involved transferred to the Outer Hebrides. And what about this boy Vladchenko? Bennet: Ah, I have Sir Leonard's letter here. He gives it to Wilson. Bennet: Obviously, we want to talk to him... London. Nikolai arrives outside the Russian House and heads towards the building. Bennet (voiceover): But at the moment he's on the run and we have no idea where he is. Wilson (voiceover): He's left Brighton? Bennet (voiceover): The police are looking for him. Conference room. Wilson: Let's hope we find him before they do. We're sitting on a time bmb here, gentlemen. Sir Leonard Spencer-Jones isn't just anybody. We have here a hugely respected establishment figure who's been sht dad in his own home. I want a daily report on your progress and I want this boy Vladchenko found. He stands up and strides away from the table. Wilson: That is all! The door slams. Milner house. Edith, the baby over her shoulder, gets up from the breakfast table, as does Milner. Milner: Right, I must go. He goes over to kiss her on the cheek. Edith: You didn't say a word to me last night. She sets the baby down in her pram. Edith: And you hardly said anything over breakfast. What is it, Paul? Milner: Nothing. Edith: Tell me. Milner: It's this case. Edith: The mrder? I thought it was what you wanted, something to get your teeth into. This man, Spencer-Jones, wasn't he quite important? Milner: He was very important. Edith: Well, when you find out who did it, won't that stand you in good stead? Milner: I think I know who did it. He had a, a Russian living with him, an ex-prisoner. Edith: And he was the one? Milner: Well, he's run away. Money and other things were stolen from the house, and a witness saw him taking a train from Brighton station, so it looks fairly cut and dried. Edith: So what are you worrying about? Milner: Mr Foyle is involved. He was at the house. Edith: But that's good, isn't it? Milner: I worked with him for five years and I know what I owe him, but this time I wanted to do this on my own. Edith: Well, it's your case. Why don't you just ask him to go away? Milner: I already have. That's what worries me. I think I may have been... Edith: What? Look, what does it matter, Paul? As long as you make the arrest. As you sure it was this Russian? Milner: I wish I was. He heads out. She follows him outside. Neighbour (offscreen): Morning. Edith: Paul. You're in charge now. You go out there and do it your way. They kiss and he turns to leave. A country road. Foyle is driving along with Sam in the passenger seat. Sam: This is very kind of you, sir, letting me come with you. Foyle: Well, least I can do in the circumstances. Sam: So you don't have a driver now? Foyle: That's right. After you left I thought it was about time, you know? Sam: Hmm. Foyle: And I'm not going to be there much longer anyway. Sam: Then what? Foyle: Er, I might go to America. Sam: America? Foyle: Unfinished business. Sam: They drive on the other side of the road there. Foyle: They do. Sam: Might need some help with that. He chuckles. They drive on. A grand public building. A car stops outside and Milner gets out. The car leaves as he walks towards the building. Inside. Maurice is speaking in front of a crowd. Maurice (offscreen): The truth about the upper classes in this country is they're only interested in one thing - themselves. The crowd nod along. Maurice: As far as they're concerned, nothing has changed and that's the way they like it. They're selfish. Staircase. Milner and Perkins can hear the speech as they climb the stairs. Maurice (offscreen): Now, forget Winston Churchill, because let me tell you now the wr is over, he is no longer of any use to you. We have to kick the Tories out. All of them. Milner and Perkins arrive at the back of the hall and stand listening. Maurice: New thinking, new industry, a new beginning. Ladies and gentlemen, the wr is over. Now, let the Labour Party build the peace. Man (offscreen): Jolly good show. Maurice: Thank you. Crowd: Hear hear! Hear hear! Hear hear! Hear hear! Jolly good show. Maurice makes his way through the crowd, handing out flyers and shaking hands. Maurice: Thank you so much. Hello. Excellent to see you here. Milner makes his way through to approach him. Milner: Excuse me, Mr Jones. I wonder if I might have a word? Maurice: How can I help you? Maurice holds out a hand to shake, but Milner doesn't take it. Milner: I'm a police officer. Detective Inspector Milner. Maurice lowers his hand. Maurice: I suppose this is about my father. Milner: Yes. Maurice: Follow me. Sheila, I'll be a few minutes. He heads out onto the balcony above the stairs, followed by Milner and Perkins. Maurice: I take it that was deliberate, trying to embarrass me in the middle of a political meeting. Milner: Not at all, sir. Maurice: I wonder. Milner: Your father was mrder, sht dad. I would have thought you'd have a vested interest in seeing his kller brought to justice. Maurice: Unless, of course, I was his kller. I assume I'm a suspect. Milner: When did you last see him, sir? Maurice: Oh, how quaint. Very Agatha Christie. I went to his house on the day he was klled. Yes. I thought that would surprise you. I didn't go in. In the end I couldn't be bothered. Milner: You'd had a big falling-out. Maurice: You're very well-informed. My father was a reactionary. He didn't understand that though the wr is over, another wr has gn. A wr against unemployment, poverty, ill health. Milner: He didn't agree with your politics. Maurice: We parted company. I even changed my name. Well, dropped part of it. I didn't want anything more to do with him. Milner: Your father was a very wealthy man. Maurice: I'm not interested in his money. Woman (offscreen): Mr Jones. Milner Er, what can you tell me about a Russian handyman, a gardener, who was living at Redwood Lodge? Er, Nikolai... Maurice: Vladchenko. I don't want to talk about him. Milner: Oh, why is that? Maurice: The whole thing was ridiculous. I like the Russians, God knows what they've been through in the last four years, but the idea that my father could actually adopt him. Milner: Your father was considering adoption? Maurice: Yes. He starts to move away, and Milner follows. Milner: Er, Mr Jones. You had no contact with your father, so how did you know? Maurice turns and moves away. Milner and Perkins follow. London. Foyle and Sam drive through bmb-damaged streets. Sam: Did you find out anything about the Russian House? Foyle: Well, the Russian House is a sort of safe house, a sanctuary for White Russians in London. Sam: White Russians? Foyle: Well, White Russians are loyal to the old tsar and believe Stalin took the country from them. Red Russians are Communists and, er, loyal to Stalin. Sam: But Niko was caught fighting for the Germans. Foyle: Er, will, I'd imagine that's because he's a White Russian, and in which case he'd be pleased to be fighting against Stalin. Sam: But Stalin was our side, so he was fighting against us too. Foyle: Which is why he was a prisoner of wr. Sam: It's all very confusing, but I just know he didn't kll anyone. Foyle: I hope you're right. wr Office lobby. Foyle stands waiting. A secretary approaches him. Secretary: Mr Foyle. Brigadier Wilson's office. He turns as the door opens. Secretary (offscreen): Sir. She escorts Foyle in. Foyle: Thank you. She leaves. Wilson: Foyle, come in. I'm glad to see you. I'm afraid I owe you an apology. They shake hands. Wilson: I've rather wasted your time. But it's all turned out well. Spiakov is in our hands once again. Foyle: Oh. Well, I'm very pleased to hear it. Where did you find him? Wilson: He was here. In London. Travelled up from Hastings. Don't know where he got the money. Staying at a place called the Albion Crescent Hotel. We had a tip-off from one of the staff. Moved in and arrested him while he was still in bed. No, perhaps I shouldn't have got you involved but I can't tell you how important it was. Erm, I take it that's why you're here? Oh, do sit down. Foyle: Er, yes, that's right. Wilson: Wasted journey, I'm afraid. All done and dusted. Foyle: Well, erm, not quite as easy as that. He sits down. Wilson: Oh? Foyle: Well, your man may well have got his money from the home of an artist, Sir Leonard Spencer-Jones, who, I'm sorry to have to tell you, has been found dad. Wilson sits down opposite him. Wilson: Yes, I think I read something in the papers. What was it? A heart attck. Foyle: Well, you might say that. He was sht in the chest. Wilson: And this happened in Hastings? Foyle: A little further down the coast near Brighton. Wilson: Is that within your jurisdiction? Foyle: Well, I've made it my business. Wilson: I'm not sure there's much you can do. Spiakov's in Liverpool. He may already be on his way home. Foyle: Well, there's a second Russian, it seems, and we're now looking for him. Wilson: And, um, you think he's in London? Foyle: It's possible. Wilson: I may be able to help you find him. As you can imagine I have plenty of resources here. Er, do you have a name? Foyle: Nikolai Vladchenko. Wilson: Nikolai Vladchenko. He writes it down. Wilson: Well, I can ask. Er, where are you staying tonight? Foyle: Er, not altogether sure. I'll find somewhere. Wilson: Oh, you must use my room at the Auxiliary Club. Not strictly club rules but, erm, mum's the word. On Pall Mall. Do you know it? He gets up and so does Foyle. Foyle: Er, yes, I do. Wilson: Ah, we should have dinner together. Let's meet, say, er, eight o'clock, hmm? Foyle: Thank you. Wilson: Ah. Be good to have a proper chinwag. Foyle: Mmm. Wilson chuckles. Staircase. Foyle is escorted back out by the secretary. Wilson and Bennet follow them down a short way behind. Bennet: Have you seen his file, sir? Wilson: I don't need his file, Bennet. I was his commanding officer for eleven months during the last show. Bennet: The security services don't like him. He's crossed swords with them on two separate occasions. Wilson: In the line of duty. Bennet: Beyond the line of duty. He's not an easy man to control. Wilson: What are you suggesting? Bennet: You will remember, sir, I was opposed to the idea of him being approached in the first place. Wilson: Covering your back, Bennet? He turns and walks on. Albion Crescent Hotel. Foyle drives Sam up to the hotel. Foyle: This is the one. Sam: So, I'm to find out everything I can about Ivan Spiakov, who arrested him, when and how. Foyle: That's right. Sam sighs as she gets out. Sam: Let's hope it leads us to Niko. Foyle: Good luck. He drives on. Sam heads into the hotel. Reception area. Edna Howard is just showing a guest out. Edna: Goodbye, Mr Evans. I hope you enjoyed your meal. Sam enters. Evans: Thank you, Mrs Howard. He leaves. Edna: Diabolical liberty. That's the second time he's been in this month. And he's done every hotel in the area. Sam follows her towards the reception desk. Sam: Who is he? Edna: Ministry of Food. He's an inspector. Excuse me. A young man, Adam Wainwright is just signing the guestbook. She shuffles him aside so she can get round behind the desk. Edna: Come to check that we don't charge more than five bob and only one protein a course. As if there's enough protein in London to keep a dog smiling. And who pays for Mr Evans entertaining himself day in and day out? Sam and Adam exchange a look as she rants. Edna: You and me, that's who. Sam: I, I'd like a room. Edna: I didn't think you were here for the plumbing, love, although, Lord knows, be nice to see it sorted. Can I have your identity card? Sam: Oh, yes, of course. Edna: Have you finished with that, Mr Wainwright? Adam: Right. Sam: Here you are. Sam hands over her identity card. Edna: I'll need your ration book if you plan on staying more than a few days. Sam: Oh, I don't think I'll be here that long. Edna turns to Adam. Edna: I'll get your key. Sam goes to sign the guestbook and notices Adam's entry above hers. Sam: Oh, you're from Hastings? Adam: I'm sorry? Sam: Well, I couldn't help noticing your address. That's a coincidence, I've just driven up from there. Adam: I took the train. Edna: Room 5. First floor. Stairs down there. No smoking in the bedroom and no women visitors after six o'clock. Adam: Right. I'll be seeing you. Sam: I expect so. Edna: I've a room at the back. Five shillings a night. Cash in advance. Walter Hardiman's house. Hardiman is just letting Milner and Perkins inside. Hardiman: Yes, Detective Inspector, I do know Maurice Jones. Milner: He lives here? Hardiman: There's a coach house round the back. I rent it to him. When he fell out with his father there was nowhere else for him to go. Milner: You also kept him informed of his father's private affairs. Hardiman: No. I would have thought Maurice was perfectly able to surmise for himself what was going on. Milner: You never discussed it then? Hardiman: What? Milner: The changed will. The adoption. Hardiman: It may be... with the proximity... Look, everyone knew about this Russian character and I must say some people thought it very strange. Milner: And you? Hardiman: I knew Leonard for 30 years. And his late wife. I've known Maurice since he was a baby. And what happened, this great chasm that came between them, and all because of politics, I thought it was wrong. Milner: There's a chance that Maurice Jones will become an MP. Hardiman: And good luck to him, Mr Milner, that's what I say. The whole world's about to change, all of it. And you, me, all the old values, we're going to be swept away. Maurice Jones did not kll his father. It's nonsense to suggest it. I don't know why you're here, asking me all these questions. You're wasting your time. Milner and Perkins turn to go. Hotel lounge. Adam enters the room and sees Sam sitting reading a magazine. Adam: Do you mind if I join you? I'm whacked. He sits down in the next seat. Sam: Sam Stewart. She offers him her hand. Adam: I'm Adam Wainwright. They shake hands. Sam: I saw. When you were signing in. Adam: Ah. Sam: So how long are you staying here? Adam: I want to get out as soon as possible. I have a hotel myself. Well, a, a guesthouse, anyway. Hill House. D'you know it? It's up on Highcliffe Street. Sam: I know the area but I, I never noticed a guesthouse. Adam: Nor do many of the guests. That's half the trouble. Sam: Why are you here? Adam: In London? I've come up to see the wr Damage Commission. They're in Piccadilly. Had a bmb go through the roof. Luckily it didn't go off, but I've been trying to get a grant for repairs. Sam: What's the problem? Adam: Everything is. They want to see all the accounts and the building certificate. I don't suppose you fancy dinner. Sam: You're a bit fresh. Adam: Oh, not really, I just... I'm on my own and I assume you are too, and it'd be nice to have someone to talk to. So, what do you say? Sam: I'm, I'm here with someone. Adam: Oh, married. Sam: No, no. No, we're working together. But, yes, yes, I'd, I'd love to. Maybe. Let's see. Perhaps. Adam: Right. The Russian House. The woman who was serving tea before escorts Foyle in to the lounge where Duveen and Anokhov stand. Duveen: Mr Foyle. Welcome. Allow me to present myself. My name is Duveen. They shake hands. Foyle: How do you do? Duveen: This is my house. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Duveen: My colleague and associate Alexander Anokhov. What can I offer you? Some tea? Foyle: Er, I won't, thank you. Duveen: Some caviar? It is a great Russian delicacy which perhaps you have not developed a taste for. Foyle: Yeah, you may well be right. Duveen: So. I'm at your service, Mr Foyle. Please have a seat. Foyle: Er, no, I won't keep you a moment. Er, we looking for a young Russian, Nikolai Vladchenko. Duveen: Nikolai. That's a good name. It is the name of the last tsar, mrder by the Bolshevik scum who have taken over our country. And the family name, you said Vladchenko? Foyle nods. Duveen: Alex? Anokhov: I do not know the name. Duveen: Er, when did he come up to London? Foyle: Just a few days ago, I believe. Er, There's also, er, a friend of his, Ivan Spiakov. Does that mean anything? Duveen: Spiakov? Do you have any idea where he is? Foyle: We know exactly where he is. Er, he's under arrest. Anokhov (offscreen): Arrest? Foyle: Mmm. Duveen: Neither of these men were here. Foyle: You're quite sure of that? Duveen: Have we given you any reason to doubt us? Foyle: Since you mention it, Vladchenko had nowhere else to go in London. Er, Spiakov told him specifically to come here and it'd be interesting to know, er, since you've no idea where I've come from, why he'd have had to have come up to London. Duveen: I beg your pardon? Foyle: Er, you just asked me when he came up to London. Duveen: Doesn't everybody come up to London? Foyle: Er, well, some people come down to London. An awful lot of other people are already here. Duveen: I do not think I have anything to add to what I have already said. I'm sorry, Mr Foyle. Anokhov heads over to escort Foyle out. Foyle: Thank you for your time. Hotel front desk. Edna gives a woman her change. Edna: There you are. Woman: Thank you. Sam approaches the desk. Sam: Excuse me, I'm sorry to be a nuisance, but I'm afraid there's no light bulb in my bathroom. Edna: That'll be a shilling. Sam: I'm sorry? Edna: For the light bulb. Sam: Isn't it included in the room? Edna: If it was included in the room, you wouldn't be asking. It's a shilling deposit, dear. When you leave, you give me back the bulb, I'll give you back the shilling. Sam starts digging in her shoulder bag. Sam: You haven't had any Russians staying here, have you? Edna: Why do you ask that? Sam: I'm looking for a man called Ivan Spiakov. Edna: You know him? Sam: Sort of. He's a friend of a friend. Edna: He was here for one night. He was taken away under arrest. Sam: Oh. Edna: I didn't know anything about it and I don't want to. The soldiers came and took him and that was the end of it. I knew it was a mistake having him here in the first place. Sam: I'm afraid I haven't got a shilling. Adam walks up from behind her. Adam: Here, let me stand you. I've got a bob. Are you ready to go? Sam: I'm certainly hungry. Adam: We'll collect the bulb when we come back. He leaves it on the front desk. Outside. The two of them leave the hotel together. Adam: So, what do you fancy? Sam: For dinner? Oh, roast beef, sherry trifle, champagne. But I'm not going to get it, am I? Adam: There's a four and six dinner at Clacy's. Soup, fish and chips, tinned fruit. Sam: Perfect. The two of them walk between a pair of workmen clearing rubble. Adam: So what are you doing in London? Workman: Hold on, Charlie. Adam: You said you weren't on your own. Sam: I'm here with a man called Mr Foyle. He's a policeman. I used to work for him. Adam: And why is he here? Sam: Well, it's complicated but, er, somebody got mrder. An artist. Quite a well known one. It's all tied in with these Russians. Adam: I'd have thought after six years of wr, everyone would have had enough of klling each other. Sam: What did you do during the wr? Adam: Oh, I'm afraid I never sht at anyone. I feel a bit guilty that nobody ever took a sht at me. I did want to fight. I tried to join the Army but I'd just come out of university, Cambridge, and they said they had other uses for me. Sam: Don't tell me. You were in intelligence. Adam: I'm not allowed to tell you. But, yes, I was in intelligence. Well, sort of. I spent the wr in a place called Bletchley. It was cold and horrible and the beds were even worse than Mrs Howard's. But I think we did a good job. Sam: So how did you come to own a guesthouse? Adam: It was my aunt's but she died. Sam: Blitzed? Adam: No, no. It was a boating accident. I was always her favourite, so she left it to me in her will. When I left Bletchley I had nothing to with myself so I thought I'd give it a try. God, I must have been mad. Sam: Why's that? Adam: Well, there's this business with the roof. My receptionist has just run off with a Yank, and all the cleaners have stopped work since their husbands have come home. It's a bit of a mess if you want the truth. Ah, there we are. This is the place. Sam: Oh. They approach the restaurant. There's a sign in the window saying FISH IS OFF. Sam: Oh. It says the fish is off. Adam: In what sense, I wonder? Sam chuckles. Adam: Soup and chips? Sam: Sounds delicious. They head in to the restaurant. Wilson (voiceover): Passchendaele. He's at a table in the Auxiliary Club restaurant with Foyle. Wilson: Hmm. What a bloody mess. D'you ever think of it? Foyle: Not if I can help it. He taps the table slightly, touching wood. Wilson: I always knew the Hun'd be back. Versailles was a mistake. It was a humiliation, and they never forgave us for it. He signals a waiter for the cheque. Wilson: So, erm, how's the room? Comfortable? Foyle: Very. Thank you. Wilson: I more or less lived here from the time of the Blitz. Never knew when you'd need a clean bed. Well, it's been good catching up with you, Foyle. Married, a son, the police. Foyle: Well, that's about it. Wilson chuckles. Wilson: Well- The waiter arrives with the cheque. Wilson: Oh, thank you. Well, when it was all over I went back to the family estate. Farming in Kent. Then, in March '39, when htler walked into Prague, I reported back for duty. I ended up at the wr Office, as you know. Ordnance and equipment. Not the most thrilling field of activity, but, er, I was glad to do my bit. And, of course, erm, people think the wr's over but, er, it isn't. Quite apart from the Japs, the whole of Europe is a gigantic mess. Hundreds of thousands of displaced persons wandering all over the shop. Then there's the British zone in Germany. Millions more depending on us. No butter, no fat. Winter'll be on us soon enough. Be a miracle if half of them don't starve to death. Foyle: This is your responsibility? Wilson: Well, my department. Foyle: Yet you still take a personal interest in a single fugitive in Hastings? Wilson: Forget about him! I have. I asked you to help find him, we did find him. There's an end of it. You always were a bit bolshie, Foyle. That's why I knew you'd make a good officer. But, er, this time, um, let me give you some advice. Foyle: What's that? Wilson: There are things happening. The bigger picture. It's good to have met up you with, good to have been able to dine together, but, er, you should go back to Hastings, leave well alone. Foyle: Well, I'm not sure that's possible now. Wilson: Whyever not? This has nothing to do with you. Foyle: Oh, well, it didn't until you asked me to become involved, and since then there's been a shting in the street, a su1c1de, a mrder, and there are a lot of frightened people. Wilson: You're a police officer weeks away from retirement. Go back to Hastings. Forget this ever happened. A member of staff, John, approaches Wilson. John: Your driver is here, sir. Wilson: Oh, thank you. Well, erm, shall we? They both get up to leave. Wilson: Thank you, John. John: Goodnight, sir. Wilson: See you again. The two of them walk out of the restaurant. Wilson: By the way, erm, do you know you have a file with MI5? Foyle: Do I really? Wilson: I'm told they have you down as a troublemaker. Foyle: Mmm. Wilson: I wouldn't stay in London if I were you. I wouldn't go back to the Russian House. If you do, I may not be able to protect you from the consequences. Foyle: Do I still have the room? Wilson: Just for tonight. Foyle: Thanks for dinner. He leaves. A London street at night. Andrew Bennet stands waiting under a lamppost. Duveen approaches and joins him. Bennet: We have a problem. Behind them, Anokhov stealthily rounds the corner a building, following Duveen. Duveen (offscreen): We may have the same problem, Mr Bennet. Bennet: Where is Nikolai Vladchenko? Duveen: He's safe. Bennet: So he's staying with you? Duveen: After what happened to Spiakov it seems the best place. Bennet: I'm afraid you'll have to hand him over, Monsieur Duveen. He has to be got out of the country at once. Anokhov spies on their meeting from behind the railings of the building behind. Duveen: You are making life difficult for me, Mr Bennet. Bennet: Right now, life is difficult for all of us. Duveen: Do you think a single provincial policeman can be a thrat? Bennet: Don't underestimate him, Monsieur Duveen. He has a history when it comes to these things. Wilson was mad to go to him, knowing the sort of man he was. But too much has happened and it's too late. We can't control him. We can't ask him to keep quiet. Duveen: So, what can I do? Bennet gives him a subtle nod. Duveen: Very well. It will be done. Good night, Mr Bennet. Bennet: Good night, Monsieur Duveen. He leaves. Anokhov watches Duveen as he turns to leave too. London streets, daylight. Foyle, driving along, becomes aware of another car following him. He pulls up outside the Albion Crescent Hotel and the other car drives on past. As Foyle gets out, there's a distant squeak of brakes. The driver of the other car watches Foyle in the wing mirror as he heads into the hotel, then reverses back along the street. Hotel reception area. Sam is pacing around while Edna does her nails at the desk behind her. Foyle walks in. Sam: Morning, sir. Any luck? Foyle: You ready? Sam: Ready and waiting. Foyle turns to Edna. Foyle: Good morning. D'you have a back way out of the hotel? Edna: Depends why you're asking. Foyle: Er, well, there's somebody out there I'd rather not, erm- Sam: Is someone following you? Foyle: Could be. Edna: I don't want any more trouble here. Foyle: Oh, no, there won't be any trouble. It'd just help if there was a back way. Edna: Turn right, down the stairs. Foyle: Thank you. He nods for Sam to follow him. Outside. A man in a suit approaches the hotel. He reaches the entrance and sees Foyle and Sam heading off into the back. He leaves again. Back corridors. Sam follows Foyle through a deserted part of the hotel. Sam: Do you really think they'd send someone after you, sir? Foyle: Well, you can never be too sure. They head down a set of stairs. Sam: Why? Why would they do that? Foyle: Well, very good question. Outside. Their pursuer heads down the external stairs to the basement. Basement. Foyle tries a door and finds it locked. Foyle: No. He tries another. Foyle: No. They back up and try different route. Foyle: Here we go. He reaches the external door, opens it and looks out, then immediately shuts it again. Foyle: Back to plan A, I think. They run back up the stairs. Behind them, the man opens the door, now holding a pstol with a silncer. He sht after them, hitting the stairs just below Foyle's feet. He sht out the stairwell light above them and gives chase. Upstairs. Sam and Foyle burst out from the stairwell. Adam steps out from a doorway behind them just as the assassin arrives and takes a sht. Adam: Sam? The bllet hits him in the shoulder. Adam: Argh! Sam turns back to look. Sam: Oh, my God! Adam! Foyle pulls her after him. Adam lies groaning on the floor as the assassin runs past. He says something in Russian as he shoves past some more guests. Outside. Sam and Foyle emerge. Sam runs towards Foyle's car. Foyle: No, not the car. They run on around the corner. The assassin emerges from the building after them, keeping the gn concealed inside his jacket. He looks around for a moment, then rounds the corner after them. Ahead, Sam and Foyle round another corner. Sam spots a set of stairs leading down to the basement level of an empty building. Sam: Sir, down here. They hurry down the steps. Shortly after, the assassin follows. Inside. Sam and Foyle stand in the darkness. They hear the sound of the door opening off behind them, and hurry onwards, the assassin following some way behind. Foyle flattens himself against a wall while Sam climbs another set of steps and tries the door at the top. It's locked. As she hears the assassin's footsteps she ducks and makes her way back down to rejoin Foyle. Foyle: (This was a really good idea, wasn't it?) Sam: (I'm sorry, sir.) They hear the bell of a police car passing by, and Foyle sees its shadow pass by the windows above. As the assassin nears their hiding place, there's the sound of a door opening somewhere off behind. Foyle and Sam move further back into the shadows. As the assassin looks around, he hears a clatter. He turns and spots Foyle, and raises his gn. There are several gn, and then the assassin collapses. Alex Anokhov stands behind him with a pstol. He checks the body, then takes the assassin's gn. Foyle and Sam cautiously emerge from their hiding places. Anokhov: Mr Foyle. Outside the Albion Crescent Hotel. Sam and Edna follow as a pair of men help Adam into an ambulance. Ambulance Man: Don't you worry, love, he's going pull through. Edna: He hasn't paid for the room. Sam sighs in disgust and moves past her. She gives Adam's coat to the ambulance man. Sam: That's his coat. Ambulance Man: Thank you. All right? He closes the ambulance door and it drives away. Hotel restaurant. Sam walks in to join Foyle and Anokhov. Sam: I think he's going to be all right. Foyle: Are you gonna be all right? She shrugs. Sam: Well, yes. Foyle: Sorry you got involved in all of this. Sam turns to Anokhov. Sam: Who, who was that man you sht? He looks at Foyle. Anokhov: Do you know why he was sent to kll you? Foyle: I've got a pretty good idea. Anokhov: Let me tell you something about the Russians in your country, Mr Foyle. They are even now being rounded up and sent home against their will. Your Mr Churchill and Mr Eden reached an agreement with Comrade Stalin at Yalta. Sam: I don't understand. What will happen to them when they get there? Anokhov: On the 18 April this year, a troop transport called the Almanzora docked at Odessa. It carried Russians who had been repatriated from camps in Yorkshire. The people of Yorkshire had given them food and clothes for the journey. The moment they disembarked they were taken to a shed on the quay... and gn. Sam: But why? Anokhov: Because they fought with Germans against Stalin. And now he wants his revenge. Flashback to the POWs escaping from the truck in Brenchurch. Anokhov (voiceover): But the news of what happened at Odessa has gn to leak out. Within the Russian community there are those who know what will happen when they return. Flashback to Valyshkin surrounded on the viaduct. Anokhov (voiceover): And they'll do anything to remain in this country, anything to avoid being sent back. Valyshkin climbs up onto the wall of the viaduct. He tumbles down towards the water. Hotel restaurant. Anokhov sits down at one of the tables. Anokhov: You have to understand that this is happening in secret. And that there are people even within the British authorities who'll do anything to keep it that way. It is, I think, a scandal that could tear your government apart if it became known. And it is perhaps for this reason that you had to be silenced. Foyle: Well, the Russian safehouse doesn't appear to be safe after all. Anokhov: That has been my concern for many months. Foyle: Might that have anything to do with Duveen? Anokhov: Monsieur Duveen is a traitor. He's working for the Communists. Last night he talked with the man who tried to kll you. Sam: Do you really have no idea who that man was? Anokhov: It is possible that he is a member of SMERSH. Smiert Spionam. It means "death to spies". Russian counterintelligence. I'm afraid it is now too late to ask. I would advise you to leave London now, Mr Foyle. It is quieter, I think, on the coast. Sam: But what about Nikolai? How are we going to find him? Anokhov: I'm sorry. I cannot help. He leaves. Sam sighs. Bradley house. Perkins looks in through the window from outside as Milner questions Tom Bradley. Milner: So, you went to see Sir Leonard. Tom: Who told you that? Milner: Is it true? Tom sits down and sighs. Tom: Yes. But I didn't kll him. Milner: You argued. Tom: Lots of people argue. I used to work for him. I worked for him for two years. Then I went away to fight. Milner: You were in Africa. Tom: I was in a lot of places. Milner: And, er, you came back and you wanted a job. Tom: I wanted my job. The job he promised would be waiting for me when I got home. Was that too much to ask? Milner: Did you thrat him? Tom: I may have. I was angry. I don't remember. Milner: Are you leaving Brighton? He gestures to Tom's kitbag on a nearby chair. Tom: There's no crime in that, is there? Milner: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to stay until this is sorted out. Tom: How long's that going to be? Milner: I don't know. Tom: You know, when I was out there, fighting the Jerries, there was only one thing I could think about. Home. Coming back. And now I'm back... there's nothing here for me, is there? What was it all about? That's what I want to know. No food in the shops. No dancing in the streets. It's like people have already forgotten. What was the bloody point? Hospital. Sam makes her way through a busy ward. Doctor (offscreen): Very nicely, Mr Wainwright. We'll soon have you out of here. Adam is sitting up on the bed, his torso bandaged and his right arm in a sling. Sam: Hello. Adam: Hello. Sam: I've brought you some bananas. She hands him a paper bag. Adam: Bananas! Sam: I didn't know what to bring. Adam: Haven't had one of those in a while. That's very kind of you, Sam. You didn't have to bring me anything. Sam: Mr Foyle and I, we feel very guilty about what happened. Adam: It wasn't your fault. Sam: Actually, it was. The man with the gn was trying to sh*t us. Adam: Why? She leans in to speak in more hushed tones. Sam: Top secret, I'm afraid. Adam: Well, very glad I got in the way. Well, it was only yesterday I was saying that I felt bad about not being sht at during the wr. Mind you, I didn't expect you to take me seriously. She chuckles. Sam: Are you going to be all right? Adam: I'll be fine. Sam: But the guesthouse, you said you were all on your own. Adam: Well... Sam: Look, I don't mind lending you a hand if you like. Adam: It's funny you should say that. I was going to ask but... I thought you already had a job. She sits down on the bed beside him. Sam: No, actually, I was working for that artist. The one I told you about. Adam: The one who got mrder? Sam: Yes. Adam: Well, that's a recommendation. She laughs. Adam: What about Mr Foyle? Doesn't he need you? Sam: Not any more. I'm completely out of work. So, if you like, just for the time being. Adam: I can't pay you very much. Sam: Make a change if anyone paid me at all. Adam: Well, it looks like Hill House has a new... what should I call you? Assistant manager? Sam: Receptionist? Plumber? Chief bottle-washer? Adam: You can start by peeling me one of these bananas. He hands them to her. Adam: I can't do it with one hand. wr Office. Foyle is in the reception area. Bennet arrives and escorts him through. Wilson's office. Wilson: Well, I'm obliged to say I'm astonished. Are you really saying this happened on the streets of London? Foyle: Well, I was quite surprised myself. He sits down across from Wilson at the desk. Wilson: Well, it's an outrage. I shall demand a full report. Foyle: Er, no need for that, I wouldn't have thought. Wilson: Whyever not? Foyle: Well, largely because you know rather more than you're telling me. Wilson: I don't know what you mean. Foyle: Three quarters of a million displaced people and you're after just one of them. Why was it so important to find him? Wilson: I told you. Foyle: Oh, well, you told me that Russians are animals, and maybe some of them are. Maybe that's how you persuade yourself that what you're doing is justifiable, but that's not quite the point, is it? It's all about what this particular Russian knew. He knew exactly what had happened to his compatriots deported on the Almanzora. And he knew about your secret policy of forced repatriation and you, of course, can't afford to let that get out. Wilson: It's not my policy. A directive came down about a month ago. They have to leave. All of them. You heard what Montgomery said. The party's over. They have to go home. Foyle: Even though they're going to be klled. Wilson: No, we don't know that. Now, we have to be pragmatic. There are more than 20,000 British prisoners currently in Russian hands. We want to get them back as soon as possible. That means cooperating with Stalin, whether we like it or not. Foyle: So we've fought two wars, er, to end up being pragmatic. Wilson: What do you want, Foyle? Foyle: Well, we could start with your resignation. Wilson: I knew nothing about what happened to you this morning. It must have been Duveen or Bennet, I don't know, but I promise you a full inquiry. Foyle: Not necessary. The person sent to, er, deal with me this morning followed me from the Auxiliary Club. Only one person knew I was staying at the Auxiliary Club. Wilson: Are you suggesting I would condone mrder? Foyle: Can you suggest any other explanation? Wilson: I'm not resigning. Foyle: I haven't finished yet. He stands up. Foyle: I want Vladchenko returned to Hastings. Wilson: That's not possible. Foyle: You should perhaps first of all consider the klling of Spencer-Jones. The fact that Vladchenko was there and could very easily be called as a police witness. Wilson: That won't happen. Foyle: I couldn't disagree more. Wilson stands up. Wilson: Are you blackmailing me? Foyle: I'm offering you the opportunity to, er, keep your deeply offensive little secret a while longer at the expense of one of ex-prisoner and, er, your career. You know where I am. He goes to leave, then turns back. Foyle: It's good to see you again... sir. Wilson sits down. Hastings police station. Milner and Foyle come out of the building together. Perkins is waiting outside and joins Milner heading for their car, while Foyle heads for his. Army base. Milner is questioning Joe Bradley while Foyle stands in the background. Milner: Captain Bradley, you might as well know that I have now spoken to Nikolai Vladchenko and I know everything that happened at Redwood Lodge. Joe: It was an accident. Milner: Perhaps you'd like to tell me in your own words. Joe: I was just following my orders. There was a Russian I had to pick up, from this place near Brighton. Flashback to the army truck pulling up outside the building. Joe (voiceover): I'd never met Leonard Spencer-Jones. I knew his name, of course. My brother, Tom, used to work there. As Joe gets out of the truck, Nikolai hurries into the building behind him. Joe (voiceover): I took two other men. The kid was only seventeen. I thought it was gonna be a pushover. One of the soldiers knocks. Nikolai runs through the house and stops just around the corner from the front door to listen in. Sir Leonard (offscreen): You're not coming in. Joe (offscreen): Sir, I have my orders. Sir Leonard: I don't give a damn about your orders. Sir Leonard looks back and sees Nikolai looking round the corner. Joe spots him too and pushes inside. Sir Leonard: I've already written to the Home Office and this young man is under my protection. You've no right to be here. Joe: Sir. Sir Leonard: Get out of my house! Joe: Sir, my orders are to take Nikolai Vladchenko into custody. If necessary I will do so by force. Sir Leonard: Niko, get out of here. Joe draws a gn and aims at Nikolai as he turns to leave. Joe: Stay where you are. Sir Leonard: Don't be ridiculous. Joe: You stay where you are. Sir Leonard steps in between him and Nikolai. Sir Leonard: You're not gonna use that, not in my house. Go, Niko! Joe: I'm warning you. He cocks the pstol. Sir Leonard: Give me that. He tries to wrestle it away from Joe and the gn goes off. Joe lowers him down to the floor as he collapses. Nikolai approaches and sees him lying there, then runs for it. One of the soldiers shakes Joe by the soldier. Soldier: Sir. Army base. Joe: I couldn't believe what I'd done but I knew there'd be trouble. And I was stupid. I took some money and I ransacked the place. I thought maybe I could make it look like the kid was responsible. It was the only way. What'll happen to me? Are you going to arrest me? Milner: I'd like to, but this isn't a police matter. Since you were in uniform, exercising your duty, you have to face a court martial. He moves to go, nodding to Foyle. Foyle: Milner. That's not quite the case. He might have been in uniform on duty but the person he klled was civilian so it's definitely a police matter. Milner nods and turns back. Milner: Captain Bradley, I'm sorry. I'm going to have to ask you come with me into Brighton to make a full statement. You are under arrest. Outside. Milner follows Foyle out of the building. Milner: Sir. Foyle: Yeah. Milner: Thank you. Foyle: Well, your first one. Glad to be able to help. Milner: Sir. Foyle: Mmm. Milner: Perhaps I owe you an apology. That day at Redwood Lodge. Foyle: Well, frankly, I'd say there's no perhaps about it. You were rude, uncooperative, you defended a disrespectful junior officer, and to put the tin lid on it you upset Sam. And I'd say that's a poor return for the five years we spent together. But if that's how you want to handle yourself now you're in Brighton, it's entirely up to you. Milner: I'm sorry. Foyle: I hope so. He turns away. Joe Bradley is loaded into a police van as Foyle starts walking back to his car. Elsa Constantin's café. Foyle drinks from a cup of coffee. Nikolai is behind the counter, and Elsa brings a couple of empty cups back to him. Elsa: How is it? Foyle: Well, it's not at all bad. He's getting there. Elsa and Nikolai exchange a few words in Russian. Foyle: Can you keep him on? Elsa: I can always use a little help. And when he wants to move there are people that I know. Foyle: Thank you. Elsa: And what about you, Mr Foyle? Nothing changes. You are still fighting. Foyle: Yeah, always fighting. He leaves. Street corner. A newsboy is selling papers next to a sign with the headline LABOUR SWEEP INTO POWER. Newsboy: Churchill out! Election results! Get your election results here! Foyle buys a paper from him and starts walking up the road towards his house. Newsboy: Labour sweep into power! Churchill out! Get your election results here! A car drives round the corner, Maurice Jones standing up to speak through the open roof with a loudhailer. Maurice: A great day for the country. Thank you again. Thank you. This is a great day for the country. Thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. Foyle turns and watches for a moment as he drives past. Maurice (offscreen): A great day. A new start. Thank you so much. Then Foyle turns and continues walking.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "07x01 - The Russian House"}	foreverdreaming
American army base. An underground boxing match is taking place in one of the camp buildings. Two fighters, one black and one white, are bare-knuckle boxing. The surrounding crowd is made up of white GIs, cheering and shouting. GI: Go on! Get him! ht him! GI: Come on! GI: Upper body! GI: Go on! GI: Just ht him! Sergeant Calhoun, smoking a cigar, counts money at the edge of the crowd. CAPTION: HASTINGS JULY 1945 A pair of black GIs, Gabe Kelly and Paul Jennings, spy on the match from behind a parked vehicle. Paul: What's, what's happening? Gabe: Shh! They both duck down for a moment, then rise back up. In the ring, the black fighter is beginning to gain the upper hand. Gabe: That's right! Come on, man! The white fighter gets a punch in, and the crowd roars in approval. GI: He's gonna kll you! As the black fighter gets the upper hand again, the crowd begin to boo and hiss. He has his opponent on the ropes in the corner, and Gabe and Paul laugh in delight. As the booing continues, Calhoun straightens up and starts wading through the crowd. The referee breaks the two fighters up. Referee: That's enough! The white fighter is still down, and the referee begins counting him out. Referee: One! Two! Three! Four! GI: Come on, get up! Referee: Five! Six! Calhoun ducks under the rope to enter the ring. Referee: Seven! Eight! Nine! Calhoun grabs the white fighter by the arm and hauls him up, raising his arm in a victory salute. Calhoun: The winner! The crowd cheers and applauds. Gabe and Paul watch in disappointment. OPENING CREDITS Village street. Foyle drives along, passing a group of GIs in a Jeep. Committee room. Foyle sits down at a table with a group of other men. Harry Delmont, chairing the meeting, takes a seat at the head of the table. Delmont: Morning. Firstly, I'd like to introduce DCS Foyle and thank him for giving us his time at such short notice. Now, this committee has been convened to discuss a rather sensitive matter. The council has received a request from the commanding officer at the American base to introduce a colour bar in Hastings. I thought we should at least listen to a few thoughts on the matter from people like you, who would have to implement it. Major Wesker here is the new liaison officer at the base and he's happy to answer any questions. Wesker: Gentlemen. Unfortunately, we've had a growing number of incidents between our coloured and white troops. Fighting has broken out in public and it seems to be getting worse now that everyone is itching to get Stateside. My commanding officer feels a temporary colour bar could avoid, er, trouble flaring up between the troops like it did at Bamber Bridge a while back. Stuart: Bamber Bridge? Wesker: Yes, a brawl between white and coloured soldiers in a local bar escalated into a full-blown mutiny. Hawkins: But why now? The wr in Europe's over, after all. You boys will be going home soon. Wesker: Not quite. The truth is, we can't use our coloured troops as part of the occupying force in Europe. Heinies don't take too kindly to being bossed around by them. So our coloured boys are klling time till we can free up enough transport to ship them home. They've been here a long time doing nothing, so tensions are rising. Foyle: How do you see this working, exactly? Hawkins: Well, we could make some of the bars whites only, some coloureds only. We wouldn't restrict our coloured soldiers, we'd just separate them like we do at the base. Foyle: Well, that's fine, except this isn't America, it's Great Britain, and we don't practise segregation. Wesker: Quite right, Detective Chief Superintendent. The world would be a boring place if we were all the same. But these are exceptional times, are they not? Foyle: Which is why, perhaps, it's important to remember what we've been fighting for. Freedom from oppression, wasn't it? Pointless destroying what we're trying to protect, wouldn't you say? Wesker chuckles a little and clears his throat. Later. The group are leaving the committee room. Delmont catches up to Foyle. Delmont: Foyle? Cheeky business, this colour bar. But it might be for the best. Just for a few months. Foyle: Right. Delmont: Let's, er, mull it over. We can reconvene in a few days. You can, er, make your recommendation then. He walks on. Hill House guesthouse. Radio: This is the eight o'clock news from the BBC. Kitchen. There's the sound of a baby crying in the background as Sam pulls a pan of sausages from the oven. Adam is serving up eggs. Sam: Here are the sausages. Only one each, remember. Adam: Yes. Sam: Eggs ready yet? Adam: Nearly. The baby's crying gets louder. Adam: Oh, you hear that? Kept me up all night. Mandy Dean enters the dining room with her baby girl, Caroline, who is visibly mixed-race. Adam: Morning. Mandy: Morning. Hope she didn't give everyone a sleepless night. She's got colic. Sam: Oh, I'm sure nobody heard a thing. Later. The guests are around the breakfast table. They include a young woman, Lucy Jones, an older man reading a newspaper, Mr Duff, and Larry Hains, who has only one arm. Adam sets plates in front of them. Adam: There we go. Excuse me. Duff: Who'd have thought rationing would get worse after the wr. Hains: Well, gotta keep them poor Germans fed. Mandy comes over to the table. Lucy: How's your little girl? She have a bad night? Mandy: Did you hear her? Lucy: Just a bit. Weren't that bad. Hains: Wasn't that bad? Sounded like she was being tortured or something. Mandy: If she keeps this up we'll get thrown out, won't we? Lucy: Course you won't, don't be silly. Don't listen to Mr Hains here. Mr Duff eyes the baby disapprovingly. Hains: I don't know why anyone would want to have children. Lucy: Well, that's not something you'll have to worry about, is it, Mr Hains? With your countenance, no woman would have you. Hains takes a bite of his toast. Lucy winks at him. Later. Sam is just coming downstairs with the laundry, passing Lucy and Mandy in the lounge. Mandy hurries after her. Mandy: Sam? Can I have a word? Sam: Of course. Mandy: Erm, well, the baby kept Mr Hains awake last night and I think he might say something to Mr Wainwright. Lucy: I told her to stop worrying about him. He'll be fine once he gets his artificial arm. Sam: Lucy. Lucy: Well, you'd think he was the only person who suffered in the wr. Sam: He lost an arm! Lucy: Yeah, I lost a husband. She heads up the stairs. Sam sighs. Sam: Don't worry. I'll put in a good word for you. Mandy: Oh, thank you. Kitchen. Sam and Adam are doing the washing up as Mr Duff comes in with a suitcase. Duff: I'll be leaving. I'll pay for last night, but you won't be seeing me again. Adam: Is something wrong? Duff: I didn't realise the kind of people you had here. It's a downright disgrace. Adam: What is, exactly? Duff: Any establishment that allows loose women and their piccaninnies. He puts his money down on the table and leaves. Adam sighs and goes over to sit down. Adam: Mandy and the baby are gonna put people off. Sam: So? Don't want people like that staying here anyway, do you? Adam: Well, the way business is, I can't be that choosy. Look, I feel for her, Sam, I do, but... I need every penny I can get or I could lose this place. Sam: Adam, she's just been chucked out by her own family. Now you want to chuck her out as well. I thought we were all supposed to be in this together? Isn't that what the wr was all about? Dean family home. Mandy is waiting outside the building with her baby carriage. Her mother, returning home, slows down for a moment as she sees her, but then keeps on walking. Mandy: Mum! Her mother ignores her, going over to unlock the front door. Mandy: I need- I need to talk to you. Mum. Can, can you lend me some money? For the rent? I promise I'll pay you back. Mrs Dean: I told you not to come back here. I've got no time for it. She heads into the house. Mandy: Well, don't, don't you even want to see your granddaughter? Mrs Dean: You ought never to have kept that baby. Other girls gave them away. You should've waited for Tommy. He'd have seen you all right. Mandy: What's this got to do with Tommy? Her mother slams the door in her face. Mandy: Mum! Mum, please! I need milk for the baby! The baby starts crying, and Mandy goes back over to the pram. Behind her, her mother chucks a few coins out of the letterbox. Mandy scrambles to pick them up. Army base. Some black GIs are sorting laundry on a table outdoors. A group of white GIs run past with their kitbags. GI: Come on, guys! Let's go! GI: We're goin' home! They run past Gabe and Paul, both carrying dustbins. GI: Don't drop the garbage, boy! Gabe sets his dustbin down by Paul and they both watch the white GIs getting into a truck. Paul: Man, I am sick and tired of watching these white boys go home while we stand here clearing the trash. Gabe: Could be worse. We could still be fighting. Paul: You don't wanna get back home to the States? Calhoun walks past the laundry sorters. Gabe (offscreen): Yeah, sure, I do. Paul: Damn, Gabe. It's been so long, I can't remember the sound of my girl's voice. How long they gonna keep us here? Gabe: Listen, Paul, it's nearly over. We'll be out of this man's army soon. Let's just keep our heads down, huh? Calhoun: You two. Get back to work. The truck full of GIs starts to drive away. GI: Hey, boy! Get this place cleaned up! Gabe: We're on the last transport back to the States, Paul. Get used to it. Mandy's bedroom at the guesthouse. She's sitting in an armchair with the baby on her lap. Sam knocks and enters. Sam: How is she? Can I have a peek? Mandy: Yeah. The baby yawns and Mandy smiles down at her. Mandy: Hello. Big yawn. Sam crouches behind them, shaking a ball with a bell inside. Sam: Hello! Mandy talks to the baby as she takes the ball. Mandy: What's that? She looks up at Sam. Mandy: Thank you. She shakes the ball for the baby. Mandy: What's that? Sam: Do you still see him? The father? Mandy: No, not really. Sam: Does he know he has a daughter? Mandy: Yeah. Sam: But I thought it best I didn't see him. You know, best for him. Sam: Well, what's best for you? Mandy: I can't think about myself. Baby comes first. My mum thinks I've ruined my life. She still hopes that I'll, you know, get back with my old boyfriend Tommy. Tommy, Tommy Duggan? He's quite well known round here. He's a boxer. Sam: Oh, that's right. He was a conchie, wasn't he? The boxer who wouldn't fight. I remember people talking about it. Mandy: They sent him away to work on the land. Up in Scotland. He's been writing me letters, and... now they're sending him home again. Sam: Does that worry you? Mandy: Well, he won't like it that I've been with someone. He always thought he owned me. But I, I never encouraged him. You know, I never wrote back. I, I just don't want him causing trouble. A country lane. Tommy Duggan walks along with a suitcase. He passes two women, and they stop and look after him, whispering together. Jimmy's house. Tommy walks through a gate into a garden where an older man, Jimmy, wearing a boxing glove as he polishes it. The shed behind him is filled with boxing equipment. Tommy: Not thinking of getting back in the ring, are you, Jimmy? Things that bad? Jimmy laughs. Jimmy: Tommy! He pulls the glove off his hand. Jimmy: Well, well. You're a sight for sore eyes. Last I heard you was up north. Tommy sets his suitcase down. Tommy: Forestry and land drainage. Jimmy: And when'd you get back? Tommy: I just arrived. They shake hands. Tommy: I'm wondering if I get my old room back. Jimmy: Yeah. Yeah, if, if, er, you need it. Tommy thumps a punching bag lying nearby a couple of times, and smiles. Tommy: I've missed this. I've missed the smell of the ring. I'd like to fight again. Jimmy: Ooh, I dunno. Ha. You'll be out of shape now. It's been a few years. Tommy: I've never been fitter. You try digging ditches ten hours a day. Jimmy: Well, I, I've got my hands pretty full down the gym now, you know. New blood. Tommy: I was your best fighter. Jimmy: The best I ever had. I'll be honest, Tommy. There's some bad feeling about you round here. We lost some good lads overseas. People don't forget that easily. Tommy: I need to earn a few quid, Jimmy. I'm planning on getting married. Jimmy: Oh? Who's the lucky girl? Tommy: Mandy, who else? Jimmy: I take it you haven't spoken to her yet? Before you start, er, making plans you should. Tommy: I will. Don't worry. I've got the ring and everything. Jimmy: Yeah, well. Like I say, you can stay here till you get back on your feet again. That's all I can do for you. Dean family home. Tommy approaches the house with a bunch of flowers, stopping to check his hair in a window. He knocks on the door and Mrs Dean answers it. Mrs Dean: Tommy? Tommy: Mrs Dean. Mandy in? Mrs Dean: She's... not with us any more, Tommy. She's at the guesthouse on Highcliffe Street. She won't be coming back here. Tommy: Why's that, then? Mrs Dean: You'll have to speak to her about that yourself. Maybe you can knock some sense into her. She closes the door. Tommy: (What?) Guesthouse. Mandy comes down the stairs. She stops as she sees Sam in the hall below, Tommy Duggan behind her. Sam: Mandy? There's someone here to see you. Tommy: Mandy. Mandy: When did you get back? Tommy: Today. Sam: Excuse me, I have to go and prepare supper. Tommy: D'you get my letters? Mandy: Mmm. Yeah, I, I did. Tommy: I'm sorry I didn't write more. He gives her the flowers. Tommy: Wasn't always easy. Mandy: It's all right. It's not like we're walking out any more. Tommy: Well, I wanted to, just the same. There wasn't a day you weren't in my thoughts. Mandy: Things are different now. I'm different. I don't think about you that way. Tommy: Well, you did once. I went by your house. Got the feeling you and your mum had had a falling out. Mandy: Yeah. She didn't say why? The baby starts crying upstairs. Tommy: Said you'd explain. Mandy: I'm sorry, Tommy. Tommy: What're you sorry about? Mandy: I have to see to the baby. She turns and goes upstairs. Mandy's room. She picks up the baby, who stops crying. Mandy: There we go. Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh. Tommy looks in through the door and then walks in. Tommy: It's yours? Mandy: Her name's Catherine. Tommy: She's- Mandy: She's beautiful. That's what she is. Tommy: I was gonna ask you to marry me. Mandy: What makes you think I'd say yes? Tommy: You won't get any other offers. Not now. He turns and walks out. Downstairs, Sam watches him leave. Mandy's room. She sits in silence, holding the baby. Woods, night. A car is driving along in the dark. The driver is Hawkins, one of the committee members. He sees a woman in the road waving her arms and comes to a halt. He gets out of the car. Hawkins: Miss? What's wrong? Woman: It's my husband, he's hurt! Hawkins: Well, I'm already late. What's happened, exactly? He follows her into the trees. A man cocks a gn at him. gn: Don't move. The woman takes Hawkins' wallet and looks inside. Woman: Had a good wr, did we? She moves off, and the gn holds the gn on Hawkins a while longer before following. The woman goes to Hawkins' car and does something to cut the engine before running off. Hawkins (voiceover): I only saw the girl. Foyle's office. He stands listening to Hawkins. Hawkins: Dark hair. I don't think I'd recognise her again. They disappeared into the woods before I could get a decent look. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Hawkins: That's what you get for playing the good Samaritan. What is the bloody world coming to? Foyle: Anything else you remember? Hawkins: She said something about me having a good wr. I don't know what she was implying. Foyle: Well, listen, er, as soon as we hear anything, er, we'll let you know, of course. Hawkins: Yes, well. Let's make it sooner rather than later, shall we? He leaves. A young man, Detective Constable Hadley, approaches and knocks on the open door. Foyle (offscreen): Yeah? Hadley: Sir? Foyle (offscreen):Mm-hmm? Hadley: Er, Detective Constable Hadley. Foyle turns. Foyle: Ah, right- Hadley: I'd just like to take this opportunity to say how much I'm looking forward to working for you. Foyle: Oh, jolly good. Hadley comes forward to shake his hand. Foyle: How'd you do? Mm-hmm. Hadley: I, erm, I just heard about the stick-up. Anything you need me to do? Foyle: Well, apart from the obvious, you mean? Hadley: Of course. Sorry, sir. He goes to leave. Foyle: Ah, no. Beg your pardon. Er, check with the locals, see if they, er, saw or heard anything. Yeah? Hadley: Sir. He leaves, closing the door behind him. Outside the Hill House guesthouse. Gabe and Mandy stand talking. Gabe: I can talk to my CO. You can come back with me to the States. Mandy: Go and live in America? Gabe: Mm-hmm. Inside. Sam approaches the window to look out. Mandy (offscreen): I love you, Gabe, you know I do. Sam pulls the net curtain aside and sees the two of them. Mandy: This is my home. It's where I belong. Gabe: It seems to me you don't belong anywhere. Not any more. Sam to go away, but knocks something over with a clatter. Mandy turns to look for a moment, then turns back to Gabe. Mandy: Please, Gabe, you've got to go. Gabe: Let me see the baby. Just for a minute. Mandy: Look, if people find out you're the father something might happen to you. I'm sorry, I couldn't bear that. Gabe: Mandy. I'm not leaving without you and our baby. You do want to be with me, don't you? Mandy: More than anything. They embrace. Woods. Foyle walks through the trees. He stoops down and picks up a empty packet with the Zippo brand name. Hadley comes up behind him. Hadley: Nobody heard or saw anything. They must've escaped on foot. Foyle: Uh-huh. Hadley: Found something, sir? Foyle: Er, an empty packet of flints. He hands it to Hadley. Hadley: The Yanks use these lighters. Foyle: Yeah. Hadley: Hard to get. They only sell them in their PX stores. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Hmm. Village. Foyle gets out of his car. He sees a group of black American GIs talking with some young women. A Jeep pulls up beside them Calhoun gets out along with one of the military police. Calhoun: Move it. GI: Bye. Woman: Bye. Foyle stands watching a moment longer, then moves away. Delmont (voiceover): Some locals are saying they won't cooperate with the colour bar if it is passed. He stands talking to Foyle at the bar of a pub. Foyle: And? Delmont: If we agree to it, people must comply. Foyle: Must they? Delmont: If you would issue a warning of some kind. Let people know that it's not a matter of choice. I have to go. And I hope we can count on your support. Foyle: Well, I'll see you at the meeting. As Delmont leaves, Tommy Duggan enters. People turn and look at him as he approaches the bar. It's another committee member, Fred Stuart, behind it. Tommy: Pint of bitter, please. Stuart: Sorry. No bitter. Tommy: Well, what's that, then? Stuart: I said no bitter. Not for you. Foyle: Pint of bitter when you're ready, please. Stuart: Certainly, Mr Foyle. Foyle waits for Stuart to draw the pint, then gestures to Tommy. Foyle: It's for him. He gives Stuart the money. Foyle: Thank you. Stuart gives Tommy the pint. Tommy: Do I know you? Foyle: You don't. I know you. I saw you bat Eric Hanson. Knock-out in the third, wasn't it? Tommy: Second. Stuart: Pity you couldn't be bothered to knock out a few Germans. Tommy: Boxing's a craft. klling, that's different. Foyle: A lot of people think the nzi has to be stopped. Don't you? Tommy: Well, put Mr Churchill and Herr htler in the ring and let them sort it out themselves. Saved a lot of lives that way. Foyle: Well... not if htler had won with a knock-out in the second, it wouldn't. Tommy: My old man fought in the last wr, d'you remember that one? The wr to end all wars? Foyle: Yep. Tommy: When I was three he went into the garden shed and blew his brains out with his old Army rfle. Not long after that they found my mother dad with her head in the oven. All that suffering. And nothing changed, and it'll be the same again this time. If men said "No. I'm not gonna fight, not for anybody," then people like htler wouldn't have an army to do his klling for him, would he? Someone has to draw the line. Thanks for the pint. Foyle: It's a pleasure. He leaves. Committee room. The same group sit around the table. Delmont: Now, it is with some regret that I say this, but... I think we should recommend the colour bar be introduced. I know there is some concern about legality, but the feeling is we can get round that in a short time. Does anyone else have any thoughts? Stuart: Well, I don't want no trouble in my pubs. So it's fine with me. Delmont: DCS Foyle? You'll have to enforce this. How do you feel? Foyle: Well, we'd probably agree that, er, the gratitude we owe our American friends is considerable. Many of them died on the Normandy beaches, er, fighting for freedom and protecting these islands in the process, and it's probably a good moment to remind ourselves that not all of them were white. Major Wesker assures us that, er, coloured troops won't be discriminated against, only separated, but it's my opinion that whatever you call it, it sets a very shabby precedent. Er, these people are guests in our country and should be treated, at the very least, with respect. Delmont: Shall we take a vote on it? A show of hands, perhaps? Those in favour of the temporary colour bar? Everyone except Foyle raises their hands. Delmont: Those against? Foyle raises his hand. Delmont: We recommend to accept the American proposition. Thank you all for your time. Later. The group are leaving the room. Delmont pauses in the doorway to let Foyle catch up. Delmont: Sorry things didn't go your way, Foyle. Foyle: Well, that's democracy for you. He leaves. Street. Tommy is out in the pouring rain. He spots Mandy under a shelter in front of a church, with the baby in her pram. Tommy: Mandy! He jogs over to join her. Tommy: I'm sorry about what I said yesterday. It's just the shock, that's all. I do love you. And I do want to marry you. But I can't take on someone else's child. I just can't do that. If you got the baby adopted, I'd feel different. Mandy: She needs me. She needs a mother. You of all people should know that. I'm sorry, I've got to go. She pushes the pram away. Tommy: Mandy... She doesn't look back. Mandy's room. She lies on the bed, rocking the baby in the cradle and sobbing to herself. Hallway. Sam hears Mandy's crying as she's passing and knocks on the door. Inside. Mandy sits up and turns away to compose herself as Sam opens the door. Sam: Everything all right? Mandy: Uh-huh. Sam: I know it's none of my business, but I couldn't help overhearing you and that young soldier. Is he the father? Mandy nods. Sam: Very handsome. And do you... love him? Mandy: Yes. But I can't see a future, can you? Sam: Why not? That's what this ruddy wr was all about, wasn't it? A better future for all of us. So... if you love him, really love him, you ought to follow your heart. Mandy: Why? Why's everyone so against us being together? I mean, who cares about the colour of his skin? I keep thinking, you know, what if... what if something happens to Gabe just 'cause I'm his wife? I couldn't live with myself. See, things would be simpler with Tommy. I could... give the baby up. And we could start again. Sam: But you don't love Tommy. Mandy: At least the baby and Gabe would be safe, wouldn't they? Sam: You don't want to do anything you regret. Mandy: I don't know what to think any more. Sam: Tell you what. Lucy's going to the dance tonight. You and I could join her and... cheer ourselves up. Mandy: I can't. The baby. Sam: Mr Hains could keep an eye on her. Mandy: Mr Hains? Sam: Why not? Kitchen. Adam and Hains are playing cards at the table. Sam enters carrying the baby in a basket and a baby bottle, followed by Mandy and Lucy. She sets the basket down on the table. Sam: Coat on, Adam. You're going to trip the light fantastic. Adam: What? She leans over to speak to Hains. Sam: If she wakes, it'll be because she wants her bottle. She pats Adam on the shoulder. Sam: Come on. Adam: Good luck. He stands up. Sam: Back by ten. Lucy gives Hains and amused look as they all turn to leave. In the basket, the baby gurgles. Hains sets his cards down and peers at her. Dance floor. GIs are dancing with local woman to the Andrews Sisters' "Rum and Coca-Cola" as the group from the guesthouse enter. Lucy: Ooh, I love this song. I fancy a dance, don't you? She draws Mandy along with her. In the corner of the room, Calhoun stands smoking a cigar. Adam: So, what does everyone fancy to drink? It looks like lemonade or squash. A group of women are sitting the dance out on the side benches. Sam: Oh, lemonade for me, please. Mandy: Why isn't anyone dancing with those girls? Lucy: Oh, the wallflowers? Also dared to be seen with a coloured GI, the white Yanks won't go near 'em now. Mandy: Maybe I don't wanna dance with 'em anyway. Sam: Oh, rats to them. I'll dance with you. Mandy: I want to be Fred and Ginger, not Ginger and Ginger! The music changes to the intro of "Sentimental Journey". Paul and Gabe enter the room together with another black GI. Paul: Come on, Gabe, enjoy yourself for once. As they stand at the edge of the dance floor, everyone stops moving, and the white GIs give them thrat stares. Paul: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Come on, let's blow. Gabe: No. Black GI: Come on, let's get outta here. Gabe: I'm staying. Paul: Gabe... Gabe: I said I'm staying. Paul: You don't want no trouble. Black GI: Come on, man, let's go. He draws Paul with him and the two of them leave. Gabe walks in through the motionless dancers and towards the refreshment table where Mandy is standing. Calhoun walks past behind Sam. Calhoun: Don't be alarmed, ma'am. That's just one of our night fighters. When he gets back to the States, we'll give him an injection and it'll turn him white again. Sam: Is that what passes for humour where you come from? Calhoun: Yeah. Gabe approaches Mandy, who at first looks away as if they're not together. Gabe: Hey. May I have this dance? She looks around at the motionless group watching from the edge of the dance floor, then gives him a small nod. He leads her out onto the floor and they start dancing by themselves. The white GIs move in around them. Adam: These chaps don't look too happy. Sam: No, they don't, do they? Adam: Fancy a dance? He takes her hand and leads her out onto the floor to join Gabe and Mandy. Lucy turns to the man standing next to her, a civilian. Lucy: Come on. Other civilian couples join them on the floor as well. The white GIs and Calhoun stand watching. Country road, daylight. Foyle is driving along in the casual clothes he wears to go fishing. Then he spots Gabe lying face-down by the side of the road. He stops and gets out, looking around for any sign of anyone else, then goes over to kneel by him. Gabe's face is bloody. Later. Gabe sits on the edge of car's passenger seat, dabbing at his face with a handkerchief. Foyle walks back up to the car. Foyle: You'll live. Gabe: Thanks. That was very kind of you. He hands the handkerchief back to Foyle. Foyle: Not at all. So they were all soldiers? Gabe: Yeah. Foyle: And why would they do this? Gabe: They didn't like me dancing with my girlfriend. She's a local girl. Foyle: I see. Gabe picks up a box of fishing flies from the seat. Gabe: Is that a Black Dog? Foyle: It is. Do you fish? Gabe: Yeah. When I was a little boy, I'd fish all day if I could. And you got Lady Caroline. And that's a Ribs Flat. Foyle: That's right. Gabe: Mmm. He spots another box. Gabe: Oh, and these ones are... hmm! Foyle: I made those. Gabe: Man. Look at that. He picks one up. Gabe: Long hackles, small neat hair. That, that's beautiful. Foyle: Isn't it? You can have those. Gabe: No! Foyle: No, no, no. You're welcome. I'll make some more. We should get you back to base. Gabe: Thank you. Army base. Gabe stands to attention outside Major Wesker's office as Calhoun approaches. Calhoun stands against the opposite wall and regards him in silence. Major Wesker's office. Gabe stands before Wesker at his desk. Wesker: We did make it very clear it was in everybody's best interests if you coloured boys stayed away from the local girls. Gabe: I know, sir. But I have feelings for the girl, sir. I'd like your permission to marry her, sir. Wesker sighs. Wesker: All right, what's this girl's name? Gabe: Mandy Dean, sir. Wesker: And what are you gonna do when you get back home? You gonna take her back down to South Carolina? Interracial marriage is illegal in twenty States, private. Gabe: We could live in New York, sir. Wesker: Really? And do what? Gabe: I'm a musician, sir. I know how to earn a living. Wesker: All right, listen to me, Kelly. There is no point you making a mistake you are gonna regret for the rest of your life. Request declined. Gabe: She has a child, sir. My child. Wesker: Forget the child. I know it sounds harsh, but I'm doing this for your own good, private. I have seen this too many times. Girls like Miss Dean try and trap Americans into marrying them. Gabe: You don't know her, sir. She's not like that. Wesker: Private Kelly, I will arrange a transfer for you as soon as possible. In the meantime, you will not see this girl, do I make myself clear? Gabe: I don't want a transfer, sir. I wanna get married. And nobody can make that decision for me. Not you, not the army, not nobody. Wesker laughs and shakes his head. Wesker: Oh, well. She must be something special, this girl. Gabe: She is, sir. He takes out a photograph of Mandy and Wesker studies it. Wesker: Very pretty. You know, I'll have to interview her before I sign any papers, as will the chaplain. There is a mountain of paperwork to get through, and even then, they might still refuse her visa. Gabe: I'll do whatever it takes, sir. And so will Mandy. Wesker: All right, private. He hands the photograph back. Gabe: Thank you, sir. He salutes and leaves. Outside, Calhoun watches him go. Churchyard. Gabe stands waiting among the gravestones. Mandy arrives, and they exchange waves. Later. Mandy touches Gabe's injuries on his face. Mandy: I knew this would happen. This is exactly what I meant. Gabe: Mandy, I'm gonna be fine. Mandy: You see? Look at you. Gabe: Listen, I'm gonna be fine. Mandy. Mandy? I need to know if you'll be my wife. Mandy: Gabe, I love you more than anything. Of course I'll be your wife. Gabe: Oh! He laughs in relief, and she laughs too as they embrace. Gabe: Hot diggity damn! Okay, okay, first... She kisses him. Gabe: Okay, listen. We, we gotta meet Major Wesker. You could see him today. And we're gonna need, er, a British passport and two copies of your birth certificate. I've gotta write something called an Affidavit of Support, which- Mandy: Hang on, a what? Gabe: An Affidavit of Support, which he's gotta sign. Then- Mandy: Well, wait a minute, Gabe. Gabe: What, what, what? Mandy: Well, I dunno if I can get my birth certificate. Gabe: Why's that? Mandy: Well, because my mum's got it, and she's not talking to me, is she? Gabe: Relax, relax. Before you know, we're gonna be in New York, and we're gonna get a place in Harlem. He kisses her forehead. Mandy: Harlem? Gabe: Mm-hmm. Mandy: Like the Cotton Club and all of that? Gabe: Yeah, that's right. Mandy: Well, are there any white people there? Gabe: Of course there are gonna be white people there, Mandy. We'll have all kinds of friends, Mandy. Trust me. Mandy: Gabe... Gabe: What? Mandy: I'm scared. Gabe: Oh, it's okay to be scared. But sometimes you just gotta close your eyes and jump. As they kiss, Tommy Duggan enters the churchyard. Mandy sees him over Gabe's shoulder. Mandy: We'd better go. You go first. Gabe: Mandy, we don't need to sneak around no more. Mandy: Please. Please, for me. Gabe: Okay. He kisses her forehead, then leaves. Mandy looks over her shoulder at Tommy. Then she turns to move after Gabe. Guesthouse. There's a loud banging on the door. Sam walks through the hall to answer it. It's Tommy Duggan. Tommy: Where is she? Where's Mandy? He walks in. Sam: She's not here. Tommy: You're lying. Mandy! Mandy! He starts up the stairs. She chases after him. Sam: Mr Duggan, please, you'll disturb our guests. Tommy: Mandy, I wanna talk to you! Hains comes down the stairs. Hains: What's all this noise about? Tommy: Is she up there? Hains: No. Now go home and sober up. What's wrong with you, anyway? You should be happy enough you're still in one piece. Sam: Mr Duggan, don't make me call the police. Adam comes out into the hall. After a moment, Tommy turns and leaves the house. Adam looks at Sam. Adam: She's causing more trouble than it's worth. He leaves again. Jimmy's garden. Tommy sits tending a fre. Sergeant Calhoun enters the garden. Calhoun: Tommy Duggan, right? Tommy: What's it to you? Calhoun: I hear you're a fighter. You wanna make some money? Tommy: How? Calhoun: Bare knuckle. Tommy: Go on. Calhoun: At the barracks. We run a book. Keep it under your hat. If our Major finds out, we'll all end up in the can. Tommy: What do I get? Calhoun: Five pounds. Everything else is mine. Tommy: Just tell me when and where. Calhoun: I'll let you know. He leaves. Guesthouse. Sam opens the door to find Foyle on the other side, wearing his fishing gear and holding a wrapped cloth-wrapped package. Sam: Sir! Foyle: Hello. Thought you might like these. He unwraps the package, which contains several fish. Sam: Good golly. Foyle: Too much for me. Thought you and the others might like, er, a decent meal. He hands the fish over. Sam: That's very generous. What a catch. See you at seven? Foyle: Beg your pardon? Sam: Well, I can't possibly take your fish and not invite you to share it. There'll be tons for everyone. Foyle: Very kind. See you at seven. He tips his hat to her and turns to go. Sam: Thank you. Village street. Calhoun is just getting out of the Jeep. Foyle pulls up and parks behind. Calhoun heads towards the pub opposite and pins a sign to the door that reads 'WHITE GIs ONLY'. Major Wesker's office. Mendy and Gabe sit opposite him at his desk Wesker: Any member of your family ever been in prison? Mandy: No. Gabe nudges her. Mandy: Sir. Wesker: Any member of your family ever been affiliated with or a member of the Communist Party? Mandy: I don't think so. Wesker clears his throat. Mandy: No, sir. Sorry. Definitely not. Wesker: Okay. And you... genuinely love this man? Mandy: Yeah, I do. Wesker: Are you prepared that you might not be accepted by white people in America? Mandy: Yes. Wesker: Or coloured people, for that matter? Mandy: Yes. Wesker: And you have the ten pounds for the visa? Gabe: She has. Wesker: Good. Okay, so, look, I have to be sure no coercion is involved in your decision, Miss Dean. You may have to see me again. Gabe: She'd be glad to, sir. Wouldn't you, Mandy? Mandy: Yeah, yeah, course. Wesker: Good. Well, I can see why you wanted to marry her, Kelly. She's, um, well, she's very beautiful. Do you have your Affidavit? Gabe: Sir. He hands it over. Wesker: Thank you. He looks at the paper for a moment. Wesker: Okay, good. Let me think it over. Guesthouse. Sam enters the lounge. Adam (offscreen): I'm sorry, Mandy, that's my final word. You have till the weekend. Mandy (offscreen): Oh, please... Sam: What's going on? Lucy is there too, in one of the chairs. Lucy: She can't pay this week's rent. Mandy: You don't understand. I need an address so that I can apply for the visa. Adam: Yeah, I'm sorry. I have my own problems. I need to pay my mortgage. Sam: Well, then. I'll pay Mandy's rent for this week. Adam: Sam. Lucy: Yeah, and I'll pay next week's. Adam: I'm trying to run a business here, Sam, not a charity. She has till the weekend. He leaves. Mandy sits down and puts her face in her hands. Army base, Gabe's quarters. He takes out the box of fishing flies that Foyle gave him and admires one. There's the sound of a bouncing basketball, and he turns to see Calhoun enter. He dribbles the ball over towards Gabe and stops in front of him. Calhoun: You might like sleeping with white trash limey girls, boy, but you better not be doin' it when you get home, or you will get a lot worse than a beating. Gabe steps up closer to him. Gabe: You'd know all about white trash, wouldn't you, sergeant? Calhoun looks amused and shoves him in the chest with the ball. He turns away and dribbles it back out. Guesthouse. Sam is escorting Foyle through the building to the dining room. Sam: Everyone's in the dining room. Foyle: Oh, right. Sam: Food should be ready soon. Foyle: Good. Gabe is visible at the table behind them along with the three guests. Sam: Can I get you a drink? Foyle: Please. Sam: It'll have to be cider, I'm afraid. Foyle: Oh, I see. All right. Sam: Let me introduce everyone. Um, this is Miss Mandy Dean. Foyle: Hello. Mandy: Hello. Sam: Miss Lucy Jones. Foyle: How do you do? Lucy: Hello. Gabe stands up. Gabe: Mr Foyle. Foyle: How are you? They shake hands. Sam: You two know each other? Foyle: We do. Sam: Oh. Mr Larry Hains. Foyle: How do you do? Sam: Excuse me. She heads through into the kitchen. Adam is at the table, prodding the mashed potatoes with a spoon. Sam: What are you doing? Adam: Mashing potatoes. Sam: With a wooden spoon? Adam: I couldn't find the masher. Sam: That's because you don't have a masher. Adam: There's no need to be snippy with me. Sam: To be honest, I'm pretty browned off with you. thrat to chuck Mandy out like that just doesn't seem like you. She turns and notices something behind her. Sam: That and the fact you haven't turned the oven up. Adam: Ah. She pulls the tray of fish out to take a look. Sam: Look at it. It's raw. Adam: Well, they're all so hungry, maybe they won't notice. Sam shoves the tray back into the oven. Adam: I'm sorry, Sam. I feel awful about the way I treated Mandy. Wasn't my finest hour, I admit that. I'm just- I'm worried about losing this place. Sam: I understand. Adam: I've told her she can stay until she gets her visa. How's that? Sam: That's wonderful. Thank you. Now, let's bat on before they all faint with hunger. Later. Sam and Adam brings the plates out to the guests around the table. Foyle: Thank you. Mandy: Thank you. Adam: Don't stand on ceremony. Lucy: It looks delicious. Sam: All Adam's work. No end to his talents. Lucy: I haven't had a meal like this in an age. Hains: Pity you can't feed the 5,000 with it. Lucy: You should just be thankful for what you have, Mr Hains. Gabe lifts the lid off a covered dish for Mandy. Mandy: Thank you. Sam raises her glass of cider. Sam: A toast. To Mandy and Gabe. Adam: Mandy and Gabe. All: To Mandy and Gabe. Gabe: Thank you. He raises his own glass. Gabe: It's good to be amongst friends. Later. Foyle is just coming down the stairs. Mandy (offscreen): Isn't she beautiful? Gabe (offscreen): She looks just like her mum. Foyle stops for a moment, seeing the two of them with the baby in the lounge. Gabe kisses Mandy's forehead. Foyle smiles and walks on. Later. The group, apart from Mandy, are back around the table. Adam is pouring out coffee. Lucy: Well, thank you, Mr Foyle. That was the tastiest fish I've ever had. Adam: And the coffee, Gabe. Haven't had real coffee in an age. Gabe: It's the least I could do. But I think Mr Foyle's contribution was more impressive. He had to catch those fish. Lucy passes Hains the sugar bowl. Lucy: Yeah, well, I'm glad he did, that's all I can say. Foyle: Don't. No, really, not necessary. Where did you lose your arm, Larry, if you don't mind me asking? Hains: Normandy. Adam: It's a disgrace how long he's been waiting for a prosthetic. Foyle: Where did you land? Hains: Sword. Foyle: 6th Division? Hains: That's right. Foyle: Well... you landed first, didn't you? Took quite a hammering. Hains: Yeah. Foyle: Well, if it, er, wasn't for men like you, I don't know quite where we'd be. Adam: A bloody concentration camp, no doubt. Hains: Thank you. Mandy returns to the table. Gabe: Baby all right? Mandy: Mmm. She's fine. Sleeping. Adam: You were at Normandy, Gabe. How was it for you? Gabe: Lost half the company, but I guess it's supposed to make the world a better place, huh? Foyle: Well, let's hope so. Lucy: Can't get much worse. Hain: Still don't know why you wanna fight for America. The way they treat coloured people over there. Gabe: Mmm. Yeah, I know what you're saying. I know a lot of musicians that kept movin' to avoid the draft. They didn't give a damn about the wr. Wasn't the Germans kicking their butt every day. No, sir. It was their fellow Americans. But as for me, I wanted to go overseas to fight for democracy. Now all we gotta do is fight for it again back home. He clasps Mandy's hand. Kitchen. Sam and Adam are cleaning up. Adam: That's the last of them to bed. Would you like a nightcap? He turns to face Sam. Sam: Oh. I thought you'd never ask. They're very close, and both lean in tentatively, as if about to kiss. Adam: I've got some Empire port somewhere. He moves away. Woods, night. Delmont is driving along. He sees a woman lying slumped in the road and gets out of the car. Delmont: Miss? You all right? He goes over to kneel beside her. Delmont: Miss? There's the sound of a gn cocking. Delmont slowly rises and puts his hands up. Foyle's office. Hadley brings Delmont a drink. Delmont: This is the last thing we need now, what with local businesses trying to get back on their feet. You'll have to catch these people, Foyle. Soon as possible. Foyle: Did they say anything? Delmont: As a matter of fact, they had the audacity to call me a wr profiteer. Ridiculous thing to say. What? You think they're picking on people who've done well out of the wr? Foyle: Well, Hawkins, now you. Delmont: I wasn't a wr profiteer. My factory helped build tnk, for God's sake! Foyle: And I'd agree. Hadley: Er, sir, this conchie called Duggan arrived back in town the same time as these hold-ups started. It might be worth checking out his whereabouts at the time of the robbery. Foyle: Er, call Eastbourne and Brighton, er, first, see if they've had any similar incident, would you? Hadley: Yes, sir. He leaves his office. Jimmy's garden. Tommy practices hitting a punching bag with bare knuckles. Village street. Calhoun is driving along in his Jeep. He spots Mandy pushing her pram past the church. He screeches to a halt and gets out, approaching her. Calhoun: If you think it's bad here, just wait till you get to the States. He will never be able to see... He shoves the pram forward and Mandy tries to halt it as she backs away. Mandy: Oh! Calhoun: ...his family again. If he does, they will lynch him, and believe me, you do not want that. Back in '33, in my home town, there was a coloured boy who was accused of seeing a white girl. Just seeing her, that's all. And a mob of about 40 men dragged him out of his house and into a town square. Well... word come there was gonna be a lynching, there was practically a stampede to see it. They strung him up to a poplar tree. But before they did, they deprived him of his ears, his fingers, his toes. And this guy's pleading for his life all the time they're torturing him. And then they castrated him. I can still hear his screams like it was yesterday. I've never heard anything like it since. No more thought given to his death than that of a dog. Now, is that what you want for Gabe? Mandy grabs the pram and pushes it away without responding to him. Boxing ring. Tommy is fighting another man in the ring while the crowd roars. Calhoun and two of the military police stand by the entrance. Gabe looks in through the door. One of the MPs blocks his way with a nightstick. Paul comes in behind Gabe. MP: Sergeant? Calhoun gives a small nod, and the two of them are let through along with some other black GIs. They make their way through the cramped crowd. GI: Hey, where you going? The two boxers grapple. Tommy's opponent knocks him down and the referee steps in to count him out. Referee: Right, step back, step back. One! Two! Three! Four! The opponent is already raising his arms in celebration of his victory. Referee: Five! Six! Gabe: Come on, get up! Referee: Seven! Eight! Tommy manages to get back up. There are cheers and whistles from the crowd. Referee: All right, box. Outside. An army vehicle drives back towards the base. The guards open the gate to let it through. Boxing ring. The two fighters are slugging it out. Paul and Gabe are in the crowd. One of the MPs tugs at Paul. MP: Get outta here, boy. Move! Paul turns round and punches him in the face. Another MP grabs hold of Paul and cracks him over the head with his nightstick. MP: You stay all the way down! As the MPs bat up on Paul, Gabe rushes forward. Gabe: Paul! MP: That's it, you're done! Stay down! Members of the crowd shout and kick at Paul while others hold Gabe back. GI: Drag him up. MP: Go on boy, get back up! GI: Come on! Come on! GI: Drag him up! In the ring, Tommy sees what's happening and lowers his fists. The crowd boos as he head so the corner. MP: Darkie, you're going down! Tommy grabs the towel from his corner and throws it down into the ring, surrendering. MP: Get up, scumbag! Come on! Outside. The car approaches the base. Boxing ring. Tommy watches the fighting in the crowd from his corner. GI: Get back in there! Gabe breaks loose from the men holding him back. GI: Get Kelly! Gabe: Paul! He manages to haul Paul back up off the floor, but then the crowd manage to restrain him again. GI: Kick him! Kick him! Calhoun starts shoving his way through the rioting crowd. Calhoun: Get outta my way! As Gabe throws punches, Calhoun wades in and strikes at him with his nightstick. Gabe punches him in the gut and shoves him down. MP: Sarge! Gabe runs off through the crowd, a GI shoving him along his way. GI: Get out! Calhoun: Get off me! Get Kelly! Get him! He and the two MPs run through the building after Gabe. Outside. The Jeep parks. A soldier gets out with a briefcase and takes it over to a door. As he reaches for his keys someone comes up behind him and holds a pstol to the back of his head. The soldier slowly sets the case down on the ground. A woman hurries forward to take the case. Her partner hits the soldier over the back of his head with the pstol. He slumps against the door and falls to the ground. Woods around the base. Gabe runs into the trees. He looks back to see Calhoun and a group of four MPs coming after him, shining torches ahead of them. He turns and runs deeper into the woods. Calhoun: Kelly! We're gonna find you, boy. MP: Kelly, you better come back here, boy. MP: You hear, lover boy? Gabe hides among the trees, panting. He sees the search party pass close by. Calhoun: You two, head north. You follow me. Gabe starts running again. The searchers make their way through the trees more slowly. Then Calhoun shines his torch down at something on the ground. Mandy Dean lies dad on the ground, partly covered with branches. Calhoun: Colley. Colley: Sir? Calhoun: Go get Major Wesker. We got a real problem here. American army base, daylight. The guards open the gate to let a military truck out. A moment later Foyle drives up with Hadley. He shows his warrant card to one of the guards. Foyle: For Major Wesker. Guard: Okay. Over there on the right, sir. They open the gates again, and Foyle drives through. Woods. Foyle and Hadley stand with Wesker and Calhoun amid the trees. Wesker: So, this is where we found Miss Dean's body. Um, moved it about an hour ago. Foyle: Without informing us? Wesker: Er, yeah, thought that was best. Technically, this is US soil. Foyle: Well, technically this soil is irrelevant. The, er, victim was a British civilian. You had no right to move the body. Wesker: Right, well, with all due respect, detective, this is not your investigation. Foyle: Visiting Forces Bill, 1942, Chapter 31, in fact, says it is. Where is the body? Wesker: Er, back in the base. In the sick bay. Foyle turns to Hadley. Foyle: Get the coroner out here, establish the time of death, will you? Hadley nods and leaves. Foyle: Anybody check for... travel paths? Wesker: Tra...? I'm sorry, I'm not with you. Foyle: Travel paths. Animals, foxes in particular, pick up evidence - hair, clothing - take it with them. Anybody check for this? He looks at Calhoun, who shakes his head a little. Wesker: Right. Er, no, none of my men checked the travel paths. Er, I can see that we should have perhaps waited for you, but we've had quite a busy night here. Our payroll got hijacked last night. Think it might be the same people that robbed your friend Delmont. Foyle: Was the body found before or after the robbery? Wesker: Er, she was found after, but he could have klled her before. Foyle gives him a questioning look. Wesker: We've arrested Private Gabe Kelly for the mrder. Later. The three of them are walking through the base together. Foyle: Has he confessed? Wesker: No. Maintains he didn't do it. Foyle: Don't you think you might be being a bit hasty, then? Wesker: He was the only person in the woods at the time of her death, detective. Listen, I think she was getting nervous about becoming a GI bride, I could see that. I think she changed her mind, Kelly took it badly and he klled her. Look, I like this kid. But between you and me, the top brass, really, not gonna look much further. A lot of men in this division are from the south. I'm ashamed to say their opinion of the ngro is extremely low. This will just reinforce their prejudices and they will want this wrapped up as soon as possible. Base lockup. Foyle stands inside the cell with Gabe, who's sitting on the bed. Gabe: I went to see the fight. Tommy Duggan was taking on one of our boys. I was- I was a little drunk, but I was happy. Celebrating. But then there was some trouble. I thought Calhoun was gonna kll me, so... I ran into the woods. He'd been looking for an excuse, you know? He didn't like the fact that I was with Mandy and she's white. Foyle: Was he one of the group that attcked you after the dance? Gabe: Can't say. Foyle: Go on. Gabe: Woke up at first light. Walked back to the base. They arrested me at the gates. I thought it was 'cause I'd ht Calhoun. I didn't know what happened up until that point. Foyle: You and she on good terms? Gabe: She was a little worried about goin' to the States but... she just needed time. I didn't kll her, Mr Foyle. I loved her. Outside. Foyle is walking through the base. Hadley hurries to catch up. Hadley: Coroner's on his way, sir. Foyle: Good. Well, listen, you stay here, see what he has to say. I'll send somebody to pick you up. And find out as much as you can about the wages robbery as well, will you? Hadley nods, but looks rather worried. Foyle: You'll be fine. Hadley turns to walk away. Foyle shakes his head a little and moves to get in the car. Guesthouse. Foyle is in the kitchen with Adam and Sam. Adam: Can't believe he'd do that. kll the mother of his own child. Foyle: Either of you see her last night? Adam: No. No, I didn't see her at all. I, I thought she was up in her room. Lounge. Sam sits listening while Foyle questions Lucy. Lucy: She'd asked me to check on the baby, erm, from time to time. She said she needed to talk to someone. I presumed it was Gabe. She seemed, er, terribly anxious. Later. Foyle is at the table with Hains. Hains: I was in my room till about ten. I went for a walk. Got back at about 10.30. I did get a glimpse of Mandy. She was walking towards the base, alone, as far as I could see. Sam is standing listening to this as well. Foyle: And happy to make a statement to that effect? Hains: Yeah. Foyle: Good. He stands up. Foyle: Any news about your arm? Hains: Not yet. Foyle: Can't come too soon, I'd imagine. Hains nods. Foyle leaves the room and Sam: follows him out. Sam: It isn't Gabe. Foyle: Isn't it? Sam: Well, it's obvious, isn't it? It was Tommy Duggan. Foyle: Why would that be? Sam: Tommy klled her in a fit of jealousy, then went to the barracks to fight. Good way to cover up any cuts or bruises he might have got during the struggle. Foyle: I wonder what was so important for her to go out so late and leave the baby like that. Don't you? He turns to leave. Jimmy's shed. Tommy is slumped face-down. The door opens behind him. Jimmy (offscreen): He started drinking as soon as he heard about Mandy. As Foyle watches Jimmy steps in to wake Tommy up. Jimmy: Oi! Tommy! Tommy! Come on, there's somebody here to see you. Tommy pushes himself up, groaning. Foyle: Come on. Tommy. Mr Foyle wants to ask you a few questions. Tommy sits up. Tommy: Oh, she's dad. Foyle: Yeah. And there are one or two out there think you might well have had something to do with it. You see her last night? Tommy: No. I was at the barracks with a fight. I waited for Calhoun to give me the money. He never showed up. I walked back here. Foyle: Is it true that she'd, erm, changed her mind about going to America? Tommy: I dunno. She never said anything to me. Do you think I klled her? I didn't. Major Wesker's office. Foyle enters the room. Wesker (offscreen): Thank you. Okay. Bye. He sets the phone down. Wesker: Detective. Didn't expect to see you again so soon. Foyle: Hoped it might be possible to have a word with your sergeant. Wesker: Er, yeah, sure. Outside. Foyle and Wesker stand with Calhoun. Foyle: You organised this fight, is that correct? Wesker: It's all right, sergeant. Go ahead. Got more important things to worry about than your little sideline. Calhoun: I did. Foyle: Did you see Mr Duggan after the fight? Calhoun: No. Had my hands full. Some men get a little bit out of control, and there was the robbery. I'll take the rap for that. Wesker: Normally Sergeant Calhoun would be there to escort the payroll inside. Detective, I thought this was about the mrder of Mandy Dean? Foyle: Oh, it is. Er, they could well be connected. Calhoun: Really? In what way? Foyle: Hmm, I'm not sure. Yet. Thanks for your time, sergeant. Where can I find the wages driver? Wesker: Follow me. Foyle (voiceover): So, too dark to see either of them, is that what you're saying? Motor pool. Foyle and Wesker through the building with the driver. Driver: Yeah, they came up behind me and held a gn to my head. Er, thought I was a dad man. Foyle: They say anything? Driver: He just said to put the box down and then he knocked me out. Foyle: Mm-hmm. The wages are always delivered at the same time? Driver: Er, no, it varies. Foyle: And... that's as much as you can tell me? Driver: Yeah. I'm sorry. Foyle: All right. Thank you. Wesker: Thank you, private. Detective. Major Wesker's office. He leads Foyle inside. Wesker: Please, come in. Foyle: Thank you. Wesker sighs and takes a bottle and glasses from the filing cabinet to pour himself a drink. Wesker: I'm off duty. You? Foyle: I'm afraid not. Wesker: So, is it possible the same people who robbed our payroll klled Mandy Dean? Foyle: It is. Wesker: But, you don't think so? Foyle: Well, I don't know. Er, whoever it was took a big risk, don't you think? Wesker: You mean, they knew about the fight? Foyle: Can't be discounted. Wesker: Well, seems everyone knew about these fights except me. I would really like to get this cleared up before I ship out. He sits down and starts undoing his tie. Wesker: Not that I particularly wanna go home or anything. Kind of enjoyed the wr, you know. In many ways, I don't really want it to end. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to be flippant. I lost friends, but it's just that, you know, back home, I was a junior advertising executive, trying to figure out ways to get people to buy stuff they don't really need. A nobody, really. And here, in the army, I, I've had men relying on me, I've had responsibilities. Anyway. Can't say I'm looking forward to going back home to become nobody again. Foyle: Being a bit hard on yourself, I'd say. Wesker: Well, maybe. Did have plans to start my own business. So who knows? Maybe banks will look more favourably on... returning veterans. In the meantime, if you could solve this for me, I would greatly appreciate it. Ha. Seriously though, I got the top brass breathing down my neck. They wanna put Kelly on trial as soon as possible and... I don't think I can stall them much longer. Guesthouse. Adam walks through into the kitchen with the baby. Sam comes into the room. Adam: I'm not very good at this. I couldn't stop her crying. Sam: Oh. You look like a natural to me. Adam: Well, it was this abacus that did the trick. He picks it up from the table to show her. Adam: Think she might be a mathematician. Sam: Do you? Adam: I'd love to have kids. Wouldn't you? Lots of them. Enough for a cricket team. Sam: Really? Adam: Er, I wasn't suggesting that we... that you and I, that, that we... Sam laughs. Sam: Give me the baby. You carry on with the supper. She takes the baby from him. Sam: Hello, darling.. The baby starts crying. Sam: Ooh. Oh. Base lockup, night. Gabe is sitting on the bed as Calhoun unlocks the cell and enters, locking it behind him. He goes to stand over Gabe. Calhoun: Now it's time you told the truth, boy. Otherwise, I swear to God, I'm gonna make sure that daughter of yours never grows up. You don't believe me? I am a soldier. I don't remember how many children I've klled in this wr. What's the difference between throwing fre onto a child and throwing a child onto the fre? He pokes Gabe in the chest with his nightstick. Calhoun: Do you understand me? Gabe nods very slightly. Calhoun pushes him further back, then swings the nightstick up to rest on his shoulder. Foyle's office, night. The phone rings and he picks it up. Foyle: Hello? Wesker (phone): Detective Foyle? Er, Major Wesker here. Foyle: Yep. Cut to Wesker in his office. Wesker: Yeah, I have some interesting news. Private Gabe Kelly just confessed. Hill House. A woman in a suit, Mrs Philips, approaches the guesthouse with a man beside her. She knocks and Sam opens the door. Sam: Can I help you? Philips: Good morning. I'm Mrs Philips, the welfare officer, from Hastings Children's department. We're here for the baby. She hands Sam some paperwork and Sam looks at it. Base lockup. Wesker stands by as Foyle enters Gabe's cell. Foyle: I understand you've confessed. Gabe says nothing. He looks up at where Calhoun is also standing in front of the cell. Foyle looks over at Calhoun, then back at Gabe, who nods silently. Foyle: Anything you wanna tell me? Gabe stays silent. Foyle: This is a hanging offence, you do know that? And there's still nothing you want to say? Gabe looks up at him and shakes his head. Foyle leaves the cell and Wesker follows him. Calhoun lingers behind, watching Gabe. An MP lets Wesker and Foyle out of the cell block. Calhoun follows a little way behind. Wesker: Looks like we found our kller. Foyle: It doesn't concern you that this confession might have been forced out of him? Wesker: Well, if that was the case, he would have told you, wouldn't he? Foyle: Depends who forced it. Wesker stops walking. Foyle turns and looks back at Calhoun. Wesker turns too. Wesker: Sergeant. Calhoun: I never laid a hand on him, sir. Wesker: Really? I know you think you can treat men like Kelly the way you do back home but not here. Not on this base, not in my outfit. Do I make myself clear? Calhoun: Yes, sir. Wesker: You can go. Calhoun leaves, and Wesker and Foyle resume walking. Wesker: I will try to get to the bottom of this. If Kelly doesn't retract his confession, then... my hands are tied. Outside. As Foyle walks through the base, Paul runs over to catch up to him. Paul: Are you Mr Foyle? Foyle: Yeah. Paul: Yeah, Gabe mentioned you. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Paul: Said you were a good man. Foyle: Who are you? Paul: I'm Private Paul Jennings, sir. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Paul: We heard Gabe confessed. Is it true? Foyle: It is. Paul: No, you see, that just can't be. He wouldn't touch a hair on Mandy's head. He was nuts about her. Foyle: We understand she changed her mind about going to America, isn't that right? Paul: No. No, no. He was trying to find somewhere for them to live in New York. Foyle sees Calhoun passing by. Paul: That's all. Foyle: Were you at the fight? Paul: Yes, sir. Foyle: And how did all that start? Paul: Er, some guys just started pushing us around. They were mad at us being there, I guess. Normally we wouldn't get past the Snowdrops, you know? It was always white only. Foyle: But not this time. Paul: No. I swear to you, Mr Foyle, Gabe did not do this. His only crime is to see the best in people. Foyle: Well, unfortunately, the facts appear to suggest otherwise. Good afternoon. He walks away, and Paul looks disheartened. Calhoun stands watching, his arms folded. Guesthouse kitchen. Adam comes over to sit next to Sam at the table. Adam: I suppose it's for the best. She couldn't stay here, could she? Sam: No. Adam: They said it's very nice, this children's home. 24 little ones. Most of them under eleven. On Sundays they get to read Mee's Encyclopaedia. No. I don't suppose it's ideal. Sam: She's not an orphan, Adam. She has her own family, they just don't want her. She needs a... a young married couple to adopt her. Kind-hearted and open-minded. Adam: Somebody like us. Sam: Except we're not a couple. Adam: No. No, we're not. Army base. Calhoun drives his Jeep out through the gates. He stops as he sees Tommy Duggan walking along the road towards him. Foyle drives out through the gates behind and stops as he sees the two of them. Calhoun gets out of the Jeep. Calhoun: Well, well, well. If it isn't gentleman Jim Corbett. What can I do for you? Tommy: Where my money? From his vantage point, Foyle can see the two of them talking but not hear what they're saying. Calhoun: You didn't finish the fight. Tommy: You owe me. Calhoun: No, I don't. Tommy steps closer. Tommy: I said, you owe me. Calhoun: Oh, that's right, I forgot. You're a real tough guy. I just wish I had you with me on Omaha beach. Tommy: Just give me my money! Calhoun: You could have told your grandchildren about it. Told them how all along the sand men lay dad, crushed by their own landing craft, or drowned in water red with their friends' blood. Yeah, you should have been there, Tommy. You could have klled a few Krauts for us. But that would have taken guts, something you haven't got. He turns away and Tommy grabs at him. Calhoun hits him in the gut with his nightstick, and then across the back of the legs. Tommy collapses to the ground. In his car, Foyle is still watching. Mandy's room at the guesthouse. Lucy is folding clothes away into a box. Sam enters the room. Lucy: Oh. Just thought I'd put some of Mandy's things away. We could give them to the jumble sale, for the refugees. Think she'd approve. Sam: Her family may want them. Lucy: I doubt that, don't you? Dean family home. Sam approaches the house and knocks on the door. Mrs Dean opens it. Sam: Mrs Dean? I'm a friend of Mandy's. I was wondering if I could talk to you about her daughter, your granddaughter. Mrs Dean moves as if to shut the door, but hesitates. Sam: Catherine. That's her name. Did you know that? The council have put her in a children's home. Mrs Dean: Best place for her. Sam: She's just a baby. She should be with her own family. Mrs Dean: Give her to the father. We don't want her. She shuts the door. Pub. Tommy and Jimmy sit at a table together. Jimmy: Drinking won't solve anything, lad. It's not gonna change what's happened. Sam enters and spots the two of them. Sam: Mr Duggan, might I have a word with you? Jimmy: The lady's speaking to you, Tommy. Sam approaches and sits at the table. Sam: I was wondering, well, hoping really, that you might help Mandy's little girl. Tommy: In what way? Sam: I understand Mrs Dean thinks quite highly of you. You could get her to see sense and give her a loving home. Every child deserves that. Don't you agree? Tommy: That baby's got nothing to do with me. Sam: You loved Mandy. You wanted to marry her. Well, that baby is part of her. Tommy: I said it's got nothing to do with me. Sam: She'll grow up in an orphanage. None of us want that, do we? Tommy: It's got nothing to do with me. Village. Hadley is walking past a past of common ground in front of the church. A group of boys are playing cricket, using a prosthetic arm as a makeshift bat. Boy: Grab it! Boy: I'm bowling. Boy: You've already played. Boy: I'm bowling, I'm bowling! Boy: I'm bowling. Hadley stops to watch as the boy batting hits the ball with the arm. Boy: Oh, what? Boy: Sixth run! Boy: Jack, come on! Hadley approaches the boys, pointing at the arm. Hadley: Hello! Mind if I have a look at your bat? The batter drops it and the boys all run. Hadley: Hey! Wait a minute! He runs forward, but stops and bends down to pick up the arm, studying it. Mandy's room. Sam enters and lifts the lid off one of the boxes on the bed to put a pair of gloves in it. She notices a dark brown wig tucked at the bottom of the box. Kitchen. Sam enters the room, where Adam is going through accounts. Adam: These figures aren't good. We're just covering costs and no more. Sam holds up the wig. Sam: I just found this in Mandy's room. I didn't know she wore a wig, did you? Foyle's office. Hadley is showing him the prosthetic arm. Hadley: Said they found it in a disused shed wrapped up in a blanket. Who'd throw away something like that? There aren't enough to go round as it is. Foyle taps the serial number on the arm. Foyle: Check that, would you? Guesthouse. Sam opens the door. Foyle and Hadley are outside. Foyle: Mr Hains in? Lounge. Mr Hands is inspecting the arm. Hains: Nothing to do with me. I wish it was. And if nobody claims it, I'll have it. Foyle: Right. I see. Because you've been waiting for yours, er, how long? Sam is watching from the corner as Foyle questions him. Hains: I got measured up months ago. Every time I ask them what's going on, I get, "Well, you have to wait your turn, Mr Hains. There's a lot of people in the same boat." He lights a cigarette. Foyle points at the lighter. Foyle: Have a look at that, please? D'you mind? Hains hands it over. Foyle: Thank you. Invicta? Latin? Adam: That means 'invincible'. He's standing in the doorway. Foyle: Right. Er, RWK? Hains: No idea. Got it from a Yank. Foyle: Well, since you, er, lied about losing your arm on the Normandy beaches, it'd be a mistake to assume you're telling the truth about this, wouldn't it? Hains: What d'you mean? Foyle: Well, if you'd been there, you'd have, er, known it was 3rd Division who landed first on Sword beach, not the 6th, as you agreed the other night. Hains: It was mayhem. Nobody knew what was going on! Foyle: Invicta is the, er, motto of the RWK, the Royal West Kents, and this is the Africa Star. You lost your arm at Alamein, didn't you... Mr Cole? Hains: The name's Hains. Hadley hands Foyle a ration book. Foyle: Well, this, er, arm, serial number 3736, was issued to Private Edward Cole, Royal West Kents, April the 2nd. You've been using the name Hains and only wearing this prosthetic during the robberies you committed in the belief that nobody would suspect an amputee. Hains: No, I dunno what you're talking about. My name is Hains. I've never heard of Edward Cole. Foyle: Astonishing coincidence, then, that his ration book has just been found in your luggage. Sam: Sir. There's something else you should see. She stands up. Hadley: I'll keep an eye on him, sir. Foyle follows Sam out. Kitchen. Sam leads Foyle into the room. Sam: I found it in Mandy's room. She opens a cupboard and pulls out the wig. Sam: Was she his accomplice, do you think? Foyle: Well, if that were the case, she'd be able to pay the rent, wouldn't she? No, it wasn't her. Lucy walks in. Lucy: Afternoon, Sam, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Mrs Cole. This yours? He holds up the wig. Police interview room. Hains sits at the table. Foyle: Well, no, it's not looking good, because it looks as if, er, you klled her after she found out that you and your wife had committed the robberies. No? Er, the men you robbed were all successful businessmen. Is that a coincidence? Hains: They made money while our lads were dying. Foyle: Well, Delmont's factory makes parts for tnk. Where would you have been in the western desert without tnk? Hains: What would you know about that? Foyle: Well, that much. Hains: Oh, right. We were on patrol west of the Alamein line. Nobody told us there was minefields out there or what compass bearing we were working on. Nobody told us much. And then the sky lit up. And we thought it was Jerry. And shrapnel was coming down like rain. And in the dark we could hear our sergeant, a big bear of a man, crying for his mother. And then our 25 pounders opened up. And I stood there... the sky turning red, thinking this is what the end of the world'll look like. And in the panic, an order was given to attck a machine gn that had opened up. So we did. And it was our bloody machine gn. Half the platoon was klled. And my mate Alfie took four bllts in the gut. And I held his hand and I laid him down and he said "Do something, mate. So something." And I pretended I don't know what he's talking about. But he's screaming at me, "Do something." So I took my gn. And I put it next to his heart. And I pulled the trigger. They told me later I fell on a mine. Doctor, he said it was a miracle it was only my arm I lost. Well, I don't know about that. Because wherever God was that night, he wasn't at Alamein. He shakes his head. Later. Lucy is at the interview table. Lucy: How did you know we were married? Foyle: I didn't. I could see you were a lot closer than, er, you were pretending to be. Lucy: How? Foyle: Little things. Erm, the way you knew he takes sugar in his coffee at dinner the other night. He sits down opposite her. Foyle: Why did you kll her? Lucy: I liked Mandy. She was good girl. People let her down, that's right, but it wasn't me. Foyle: No? Lucy: No, it was Tommy, her family, this town. They let her down. Foyle: Your husband thinks the robberies were justified because he was punishing wr profiteers. Is that the way you see it? Lucy: Yes. What kind of a world are our boys coming back to? Same old rules. Same old people making all the money. Foyle: Well, new government. Some people seem to think that's all going to change now. Lucy: It'll be just the same for the toffs. You won't see them down the dole. I've got a husband to look after. He's crippled now. What was I supposed to do? Foyle: Doesn't explain the wages robbery. Robbing rich businessmen is one thing, stealing from soldiers is something else entirely. Not your idea? Hallway. Hadley and a uniformed officer escort Hains along the corridor. Interview room. Now Hains and Lucy are both sitting at the table. Hains: We didn't kll Mandy and we had no intention of robbing the payroll. We'd never have got involved in anything like that. He blackmailed us into it. Hadley stands listening as Foyle leads the questioning. Foyle: Who? Hains: Sergeant Calhoun. After Delmont, we thought we'd do one more robbery, then move on. We'd been pushing our luck around here. We didn't expect an army Jeep, not on that road. He held a gn to my wife's head. There was nothing I could do about it. And he had a proposition. He'd make sure there was trouble, a brawl, and whilst everyone was distracted, we'd rob the payroll. He said we'd get our fair share. It was simple, really. But we didn't see Mandy that night and that is the God's honest truth. Foyle: And why would I believe that? Lucy: She said there was a soldier at the base who could pull some strings, um, help her and Gabe get permission to marry quickly. But I don't think the favour was gonna come free of charge. Foyle: And she didn't say who this was? Lucy: No. But I've got a pretty good idea. Calhoun. Who else? Major Wesker's office. Hadley escorts Calhoun into the office, where Foyle is watching. Foyle: Er, we've got two people at the station who'll testify that you set up the wages robbery. Calhoun: Who? Foyle: That's insulting my intelligence. And there's enough circumstantial evidence to link you to the mrder. Calhoun: I didn't kll anybody. Foyle: Well, it certainly doesn't look like that. Any jury's going to see that you despised this girl because she slept with a black GI. You offered her help in exchange for sexual favours. You strangled her when she refused. And you forced Private Kelly to confess to your crime by thrat him with the thing he cares most about, his daughter. And if they don't hang you for it, I'll be very surprised. Calhoun: That isn't what happened. Foyle: What do I care? For the likes of you, it's a fairly satisfactory result. So, if you're gonna tell me what did happen, it had better be good. A building on base. Wesker is sh*ting hoops with a basketball in the otherwise empty building. Outside. Foyle approaches the building. As he reaches the doorway, Wesker turns to face him. Wesker: Done with my office? Foyle: I have. Wesker: And you're done with Sergeant Calhoun? Foyle: I have. And you won't be surprised to hear that he's not gonna take responsibility for the mrder you committed. It was you she came to for help, wasn't it? Wasn't it? Wesker: Yeah. Yeah. She was desperate to get in the States. Be part of a family. She was a pretty girl. What's a guy supposed to do? Flashback to Major Wesker's quarters, night. Calhoun approaches Wesker's quarters and knocks on the door. Wesker opens it in his undershirt. Wesker: What is it? Calhoun: We need to know when the payroll is arriving, the exact time. Mandy is visible in the bathroom behind him. Wesker: Well, I'll let you know as soon I can. You just make sure that diversion happens when we need it. Calhoun: What is she doing here? Wesker: Never mind. Just make sure those guys know what they're doing, all right? Calhoun: Does she know anything? Wesker: Sergeant, she won't be a problem, all right? Trust me, she won't. Calhoun leaves. Wesker (voiceover): Yeah, I strung her along. I took advantage. Wesker closes the door. Cut back to the present. Wesker: I had no intention of signing Kelly's affidavit because I knew it couldn't work. I was doing them a favour, really. Flashback to Mandy leaving the bathroom and heading for her clothes to get dressed. Wesker: Where do you think you're going? Come back to bed. Mandy: I've got to leave. Wesker: No, no, you don't. You have to come back to bed. Mandy: You do what you promised. Give us permission to marry now, right? Wesker: Well, I will if you... if you come back to bed. Mandy: I did what you asked. Now you have to stick to your part of the bargain, all right? Wesker: Really? And if I don't? Look, I got what I want. Why should I? Mandy: We just want to be a family. Why can't we do that? Why is everyone trying to stop us? Wesker: Oh, come on! Mandy: I heard what you said about the payroll. I'm not stupid. I know what you're gonna do. I'll tell the police. I will. Wesker: Are you thr*at me now? Mandy: You just make sure that Gabe and I get our fresh start in New York. Cut back to the present. Foyle: And she didn't die in the woods, did she? Wesker: No. No, she didn't. Flashback to Wesker's quarters. He watches Mandy getting dressed in the bathroom. As she puts her scarf around her neck he comes up behind her and begins to strangle her with it. Later. Wesker is leaving the base in a Jeep. Wesker (voiceover): I waited till everyone was on their way to the fight. Smuggled her out. And I dumped her body in the woods. Flashback to Wesker laying Mandy's body down on the ground. Wesker (voiceover): I figured by the time they found her, I'd be long gone. Cut back to the present. Wesker: Back home. New life. Foyle: Well, for someone, er, who doesn't want to be a nobody, we're not gonna forget you in a hurry. Wesker: I never intended for anyone to die, detective. Really, I didn't. I just wanted something at the end of this, just something for myself. Is that really too much to ask? After all we've been through, I... Is it? Foyle turns away to where Hadley is arriving outside in a covered Jeep full of military police. They get out and approach Wesker, and after a moment, he goes over to get into the Jeep with them. Foyle and Hadley watch the Jeep drive away. Army base, later. A group of black GIs are boarding trucks with their kitbags. Gabe stands in front of the truck, looking back. Paul is helping others climb up behind him. Paul: We're getting outta here. Let's go. Gabe, we're shipping out. Let's go! Gabe, come on. We gotta move. Let's go. Gabe stays where he is. He sees Foyle's car approaching, shoves his kitbag onto the back of the truck, and turns towards the car. Sam is in the passenger seat, and Mrs Philips and her male partner are in the back. Sam gets out with the baby and brings her over to Gabe. Sam: Here she is. Gabe sighs happily as he takes the baby from her. Gabe: Thanks, Sam. I didn't think I'd see her again. Sam: I just happen to know someone with friends in high places. Foyle is still standing back beside the car, watching the two of them. The baby gurgles, and Gabe looks down at her. Gabe: Oh. I'm going now, but don't you worry, I'll be back to take you home as soon as I can. You hear me, Catherine Kelly? The two welfare officers stand watching from a distance. Paul: Gabe? We gotta go. Gabe: You take good care of her now. Sam nods. Tommy Duggan comes up behind her. Tommy: You don't need to do that. I'll take her. Jimmy and his wife will help me look after her until you get back. If that's what you want, of course. Gabe: Okay. I'll come back when I get my discharge. Tommy: She'll be waiting for you. Gabe hands the baby over to him, and Gabe climbs aboard the truck. He gives Foyle a nod. Sam heads back over to join Foyle by the car. As the truck drives off, Gabe waves from the back. Sam and Foyle watch him go. Sam: It's gonna be different now, isn't it? The country, I mean. Foyle: Well, let's hope so. Gabe's truck drives away.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "07x02 - k*lling Time"}	foreverdreaming
A courtyard in wartime Germany. Members of the British Free Corps give the nzi salute. CAPTION: GERMANY February 1945 A German officer corrects the angle of one of the men's salutes. Two other members of the British Free Corps, James Devereaux and Jack Stanford, watch from the sidelines. Stanford: Look at them. Couldn't march their way out of a paper bag. Strange, isn't it? htler said there'd be a thousand of us one day, and in the end, he couldn't even manage 30. Not the most glorious episode in military history, I'd say. Do you think we'll be hanged or sht? Mind you, in Carrington's case, it might be neither. He might get lucky and die of the clap first. Are you talking to me today? James: Which would you choose? Hanging or shting? Stanford: Oh, I'm all for hanging. It's quieter. James chuckles a little. Stanford: Strange, isn't it? The two of us ending up here. We could start a reunion club. Hang together. German cafe. A man in uniform is playing the accordion while the crowd sing along with him. There's raucous laughter going on in the background. ♪ Muss i' denn, muss i' denn ♪ ♪ Muss i' denn, muss i' denn ♪ A woman kisses the accordion player on the cheek. ♪ Zum Staedtele hinaus, Staedtele hinaus ♪ ♪ And du mein Schatz bleibst hier... ♪ Men clink glasses and a barmaid walks through with two beer steins, followed by Jack Stanford. The woman who kissed the accordion player goes over to sit with her arm around another man. The barmaid turns to her. Barmaid: Bis spaeter. Then she moves off to speak to someone else. Barmaid: Ja? Stanford gestures after her. Stanford: What did I tell you? One of the most beautiful cities in Europe! He approaches James where he's standing with a glass of beer. Stanford: And some of the most beautiful women. There's the sound of air-raid sirens, and James looks up. Stanford: Life isn't too bad. He laughs. James: It's a raid. Stanford: Huh? Nah. They're on their way somewhere else. He goes over and puts his arm around the barmaid's shoulders, kissing her on the cheek. Stanford: James, let's eat. As another man comes in, Stanford closes the door behind him, revealing that the name of the cafe is 'Der Alte Palast, Dresden'. There's an explsin outside, and Stanford looks round, then gestures for everyone to sit down. Man (offscreen): Ah, hilfe! Hilfe! Stanford continues drinking his beer as the bmb drop. James stands looking dazed as people scream and bmb explode in the background. OPENING CREDITS Hastings police station. CAPTION: Six months later Inside, police officers are lined up to shake the hand of DCS Clarkeson as he walks through towards Foyle's office. McDonald: DS McDonald. Clarkeson: Right. Jones: DI Jones. Clarkeson: How do you do? Morgan: DI Morgan. Clarkeson: Oh, good to see you again. Rowle: Sergeant Rowle. Clarkeson: How do you do? Parr: Sergeant Parr. Clarkeson: Pleased to meet you. As Clarkeson reaches the end of the line, Foyle appears in his office doorway. Clarkeson: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Yes. Clarkeson: I'm DCS Clarkeson. Foyle: I know exactly who you are. They shake hands. Foyle: How do you do? Pleased to meet you. Do come in. Clarkeson: I'm here to replace you. Foyle: Well, so I understand. What kept you? Clarkeson laughs. Foyle: You'll be very pleased to hear, er, everything's in order. It's in my report. Clarkeson: Good. Foyle drops a folder onto the desk. Foyle: I'll just leave that there for you. Clarkeson: Er... Foyle: What that doesn't mention is that, er, anything related to current investigations you'll find in this office here. Clarkeson: Right. Foyle: All pre-wr and wartime records, er, are kept next door. Clarkeson: Ah- Foyle: Just ask the desk sergeant. He'll be happy to help. And I think that's about it. He grabs his hat to leave. Foyle: Erm... congratulations on the post. Or commiserations, whichever you think is appropriate. And, er, jolly good luck. Clarkeson: Oh, well, yeah. Foyle shakes his hand again. Foyle: Pleasure to meet you. Goodbye. Clarkeson: Er- Foyle walks out, passing another member of staff, who shakes his hand. Man: Good luck, sir. Foyle: Thank you. Outside. Foyle walks out of the station, stops and smiles for a moment, then heads down the steps. Royal Sussex Bank. Harmworth (voiceover): I've now had the opportunity to examine your accounts, Mr Wainwright. Er, here we have your outgoings. Adam and Sam are sitting in front of banker Mr Harmworth in his office. Harmworth: General expenses, salaries, supplies, etc. And here we have payments in. It would seem this is not a felicitous time for the catering and hotel business in Hastings. Adam: Things are bound to pick up eventually, Mr Harmworth. Harmworth: That may be the case, but here you are, asking us to extend your overdraft limit. Adam: Just for a few months. Harmworth: But you've already overstepped that limit on three occasions, and I see no evidence here that your situation is going to improve at any time in the near future. Sam: Well, it can't get any worse! Harmworth: I wish I shared your confidence, Miss Stewart. I'm sorry. Not only can the bank not help you, but I must ask you to take immediate steps to clear your existing overdraft, taking whatever actions are necessary. Thank you. Good day. He stands up and hands Adam's account books back to him. Outside. Sam and Adam emerge from the building together. Adam: I'm sorry, Sam. Sam: Don't be. Adam: No, you don't understand. I won't be able to pay you this month. Sam: Well, that's okay. You didn't pay me last month, so it's not as if I'll notice. Adam: You are a sport. Sam: We'll make a go of it somehow. I know we will. Sam: What shall we do now? Cup of tea at Lyons? Adam: No. We ought to get back. Later. Sam and Adam walk across Highcliffe Green together. Adam: Sometimes I wish the whole bloody guesthouse would just... I don't know, disappear. Sam: You ought never to have taken it on. Adam: I had this romantic view it would sort of run itself. Instead it's been an absolute nightmare. The only good thing to come out of it is... well... meeting you. Oh, sod it. Let's go to Lyons. Sam: Can we afford it? Adam: Well, we can go halves on a currant bun. She laughs. Docks. Commander Charles Howard hands Foyle an envelope. Howard: Here you are, Christopher. I had a devil of a job getting them. They walk along together as Foyle takes the documents out of the envelope to look at. Howard: I managed to square the visa with the Americans, but, as for the Queen Mary, she's been requisitioned. For military and naval use only. Foyle: Mm-hmm? Howard: I could've tried sending you as a GI bride, but I don't think it would've worked. Foyle: I wonder why. So what has happened? Howard: I had a word with the MOI. You're departing Southampton on the 17th. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Howard: And if anyone asks, you're on a sponsored lecture tour, all right? Foyle: Right. Howard: Remember, it's my neck on the line. Foyle: I will. I'm grateful. Thank you. They reach Foyle's car. Howard: You know, there are times when I really don't understand you. Foyle: Why's that? Howard: The wr is finally completely over. The Japanese surrender. This new bmb they're talking about. Makes me feel like we're entering a new world. Foyle: I'd agree. Howard: But you refuse to let go of the old one. Unfinished business? I thought you'd retired. Foyle: Oh, not quite the case. Resigned. Howard: Well, take care. America may not take too kindly to an ex-detective chief superintendent from Hastings sniffing around, asking awkward questions. Foyle: I'll take the chance. Howard: Well then, good luck. They shake hands. Foyle: Thank you. He gets into the car. Hastings. Foyle is driving along, and stops at an intersection. He hears a news vendor calling from the street corner. News Vendor (offscreen): Late edition! Read all about it! Devereaux stands trial for treason. Foyle gets out of the car and goes to buy a copy. The headline reads 'British Free Corps Treason Trial', and there's a photo of James Devereaux in his British Free Corps uniform. Foyle closes his eyes and has a memory flashback of a young soldier standing on the beach next to the pier with a woman. Same location, present day. Foyle stands on the beach, facing the water, and takes a deep breath. Church Lane. Foyle parks and heads down a set of steps to the office of Alan Deakin, solicitor. Inside. A man escorts Foyle into Deakin's office. Deakin has an eyepatch over his left eye and uses a cane. Man: Mr Foyle, sir. Deakin: Ah. Foyle: How do you do? Deakin: How do you do? They shake hands. Deakin: Please sit down, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Thank you. Deakin: Have you been offered tea? Foyle: I won't, thank you very much. Deakin: Well, let's get straight to the point, then. You want to talk to me about my client, James Devereaux. Foyle: Well, er, not so much about him as the unit he belonged to in Germany. They both sit down at Deakin's desk. Deakin: The British Free Corps? Foyle: That's right. Deakin: How much do you know about them? Foyle: Well, not as much as we'd like to, which is why a meeting with your client could prove enormously helpful. How much do you know about them? Deakin: Well, it was just a propaganda exercise, really, wasn't it? One of htler's crazier ideas. Get a bunch of misfits and ne'er-do-wells out of the POW camps, dress them up in German uniforms with Union Jacks, send them off to fight against the Russians. My client was picked up in Dresden, what was left of it. And for a few months he was, er, missing, believed dad, and then the Russians handed him over. I, I may as well tell you now... it's almost certain he'll hang. We're talking about traitors, Mr Foyle. William Joyce, Lord Haw-Haw. John Amery, son of the Secretary of State for India. The whole lot of them. Well, they're only getting what they deserve. I think you'd agree. Foyle: Well, there are those who think that a series of trials, treason trials, could be counterproductive at the moment. Deakin: And you've been asked to look into it. Well, I suppose I could try to arrange a meeting, but, um, I should warn you now, it, it may be a complete waste of time. He refused to talk to me. Not a word. Foyle: Perhaps he feels you've given up on him. Deakin: He's given up on himself. It's almost as if he wants to die. Well, far be it for me to stand in the way of the police or the intelligence services. I'll see what I can do. The both get up. Foyle: Thank you. They shake hands again and Foyle goes to leave. Deakin: He, he did join the nzi, Mr Foyle. He's admitted to it. And for what it's worth, I'd try to defend him if he'd let me, er, but he won't. There's really nothing more I can do. Foyle: Right. He nods and leaves. Penbridge Road. Mrs Ramsay leaves her house, her lodger Agnes Littleton standing on the doorstep to see her off. Ramsay: All right. Well, have a lovely evening. Agnes waves to her and then heads back inside. As Ramsay continues along the street, a man drops his cigarette to crush out with his shoe, then heads over to the house and lets himself inside. He closes the door behind him. Upstairs. The door to Agnes's bedroom stands ajar. The man eases it open and creeps towards Agnes where she sits at the dresser with her back to him. He picks up a stocking hanging over the end of the bed and moves towards her. Agnes looks up and gasps. He wraps the stocking round her neck and begins to strangle her. Later. Agnes lies dad on the floor, the stocking still wrapped around her throat. The man picks up a picture frame and takes out a photo of James Devereaux before leaving. Penbridge Road, next day. An ambulance is just parking in front of the house as a police car pulls up and Milner gets out. He looks up at the house, then heads towards him. A uniformed policeman gestures towards the door. Policeman: She's upstairs, sir. Inside. Milner enters Agnes's bedroom, where Perkins is already there with another uniformed officer and a photographer. Policeman: Sir. He leaves. Perkins: Ah. She's been strangled, sir, with a nylon stocking. I bet you she'd been saving it up for after the wr. Milner walks round to look at the body. Milner: Does she have a name? Perkins: Agnes Lyttleton. She rents the room from a Mrs Ramsay. She's downstairs. Milner: Who found her? Perkins: She did. Er, Mrs Ramsay. So, what do you think, sir? Boyfriend comes home, finds her canoodling with some Yank? It wouldn't be the first time. Milner notices the empty picture frame left on the bed and picks it up to look at. Downstairs. Perkins brings Mrs Ramsay a cup of tea where she sits in the armchair. Ramsay: (Oh.) She takes it. Milner sits down next to her. Ramsay: I can't believe such a thing could happen in my home. I just can't believe it. Milner: Er, when did you know something was wrong? Ramsay: Well, this morning. She didn't come down for breakfast and I thought she'd overslept. Milner: Were you here last night? Ramsay: No. I was playing bridge with some friends. I didn't arrive home until about ten o'clock. I was here, in the house last night, and all the time she was... She covers her mouth with her hand. Perkins: You, you want some more tea? Ramsay: No. No, thank you. Thank you. Milner: Um, did she have a job? Did she work here in Brighton? Ramsay: Er, just outside. White Friars. Well, I, I'm sure you know it. It's the family estate of the Devereaux. Milner: And did she have any friends? Or any visitors? Ramsay: She did have a friend. Erm... Sylvie, I think her name was. A sab. Er, and there was a young man, but he was a prisoner of wr in Germany. He wrote to her regularly, though. Milner: Oh. Most of the prisoners of the German camps have returned home now. He hasn't been here? Ramsay: No. Miss Lyttleton would have asked me first. She was that, that sort of girl. Very considerate. Milner: Erm, Mrs Ramsay... He stands up and fetches the empty picture frame. Milner: What can you tell me about this? Ramsay: Isn't that the frame from her, her bedroom? Milner: It is, yes. Ramsay: But the photograph is, is missing. Milner: Do you know who the photograph was of? Did you ever see it? It wasn't my habit to enter her room, but I did glimpse it. A young man in uniform. I can't tell you very much more than that. Where, where d'you think it's gone? White Friars. Perkins and Milner drive up to the house and get out. Perkins: Cor! Quite a place, sir. Milner: It certainly is. Perkins: To live somewhere like this, you wouldn't even know there's been a wr. Inside. Perkins and Milner are interviewing Sir Charles Devereaux and his wife Jane in the lounge. Sir Charles: It's a dreadful thing to have happened, and I'm very sorry to hear it. Jane: Agnes was a very pleasant girl. I can't imagine anyone would want to hurt her. Sir Charles: But I'm afraid I can't help you, Detective Inspector. I engaged Miss Lyttleton nine months ago, to help me with a project I'm working on. Milner: And what is that, sir? Sir Charles: A history of the Devereaux family. It required a considerable amount of research. Perkins: Er, been here long have you, sir? Sir Charles: We were given this land by William the Conqueror. Miss Lyttleton worked here for six hours a day. She had excellent shorthand and she was very diligent. Apart from that, I know nothing about her at all. Milner: What about her family or friends? Sir Charles: Mr Milner, she was my secretary, not my confidante. And, apart from that, I have absolutely nothing more to say. Jane? He leaves. Jane: Er, please excuse me, gentlemen. She follows him out. Perkins and Milner exchange a look. Outside. As Milner and Perkins are leaving, Jane comes out after them. Jane: Detective Inspector? She walks over to join them. Jane: I'm very sorry, the way my husband spoke to you just now. He didn't mean to be rude, but you've come at a very difficult time. He has a son... who's in a great deal of trouble. Please don't ask me to explain, but you have no idea how ill it's made him. And if he spoke offhandedly, I can only apologise on his behalf. Milner: "He has a son." I take it that he's not your son, Mrs Devereaux? Jane: No. I'm Charles's second wife. He lost his first wife, Caroline, almost twenty years ago. Milner: And Agnes Lyttleton? Jane: I'm afraid I can't tell you very much about her. We hardly spoke. She was living with our housekeeper, Mrs Ramsay. Milner: Mrs Ramsay works here? Jane: She used to. She's retired. Miss Lyttleton had always lived in Brighton, at least for the last few years, but her house was bmb. She needed somewhere to live, so we recommended her to Mrs Ramsay. Milner: Thank you. They leave. Cell block. A prison guard lets Foyle and Deakin in through the gates, then escorts them in to a waiting area. Guard: Gentleman to see Prisoner 484. Deakin takes a seat on a bench as the guard leads Foyle onwards. He unlocks the barred gate of a visitors' room, where James Devereaux stands gazing out of the window. Foyle enters, and the guard closes the gate behind him. Foyle: Hello. James looks at him silently, then turns away to look out of the window again. Foyle: The name's Foyle. They tell you who I am? I understand, er, you were reluctant to see me. Er, thank you for agreeing anyway. James: Anything to get out of my cell. Foyle: Ah, I see. Er, they tell you why I'm here? James: They said you were a policeman and you want to know about the British Free Corps. Foyle: Er, that's about the strength of it, yes. D'you mind if I sit down? James shakes his head and turns his face to the window again. Foyle sits down at the table. Foyle: Erm, what can you tell me? James stays silent. Foyle: I understand why you don't want to talk about it. It's not a very pleasant subject, er, but you have agreed to see me. James: I've nothing to read. The people here aren't exactly chatty. I don't get many visitors. Foyle: Right. No family? James: I don't want to see my family. Foyle: Why would that be? James is silent again. Foyle: Listen, there's an understanding that there are various reasons why people are or have become nzi sympathisers. And in the case of members of the British Free Corps, it seems important to establish to what extent that sympathy is genuine or to what extent coercion has been involved. Why did you join? Are you sorry the Germans lost, that htler's dad? Erm, did you want them to win? James: I don't care who won. Foyle: Is that really the case? James: Thousands of people dad. Everywhere burnt out. Theatres, museums, all rubble. What difference does it make? Foyle: Is this Dresden you're talking about? I understand you were there. James: I was in a lot of places. Foyle: Dunkirk, as well, I gather, and, er, served with distinction, according to your men. So it's very difficult for someone like me to understand why you'd find yourself in this position and why you'd choose to die in such a useless way. James: What makes you think it's useless? I was told you wanted to ask me about the British Free Corps. All you've done is ask questions about me. I don't know you. I don't need to talk to you. Please, just go away. Foyle hesitates, then gets up to leave. The guard unlocks the door to let him out, and he looks back at James for a moment before turning to leave. James remains standing gazing out of the window. Flashback. Young James runs through the grounds of White Friars. He spots his mother, Caroline Devereaux, and runs after her. James: Mum! I see you! I see you! He laughs as he chases her. James: I see you, Mum! Caroline: Oh, okay, you got me, you got me, you got me! Present. James is shoved back into his cell. As he leans back against the wall, he hears phantom sounds of warning sirens, bmb dropping and screams. Waiting area. Deakin stands up as Foyle returns. Deakin: So, did you get the information you wanted? Foyle: Any idea what happened to him in Dresden? Deakin: No. Foyle: Did you ask? Deakin: I shouldn't have thought that was any of my business. Or yours. He heads back towards the exit and Foyle follows. The guard brings them up to the gate. Guard: Wait here. He leaves. Foyle: Mr Deakin, er, forgive me for asking, are these wr injuries? Deakin: Er, yes, they are. Foyle: Then I'd understand your difficulty representing somebody on these sort of charges. He did speak to me, er, not a great deal, but enough, and I can tell you that, er, whatever else he might be, he's not a nzi sympathiser, nor is he guilty of treason. And I'd hope to persuade you not to assume his guilt or, indeed, to abandon him to hang. Er, there are a couple of things I could do to help. If you'd accept the offer, I'd be pleased to- The guard returns with another who unlocks the gate for them, and they leave. Highcliffe Green. A pair of surveyors are placing poles while another man, Michael Harrison, sights through a tripod. Harrison: Right, you're gonna to have to raise it. Surveyor: All right. How's that? Harrison: Yep. Keep coming. Bit more. Surveyor: Good? Sam approaches Harrison at the tripod. Sam: Hello. What's going on here? Harrison: And who are you, darling? Sam: Well, I'm Sam Stewart. Harrison: I don't suppose you live in one of these big houses, do you? Sam: I do, as a matter of fact. That one over there. Harrison: Then this is your lucky day. We want to knock it down. He laughs. Hill House guesthouse. Sam approaches the building. An old woman, Mrs Crawley, is just leaving the building as she arrives. Crawley: Good evening, Miss Stewart. Sam watches her go, then heads inside. There's the sound of pouring water. Sam: Adam? Adam: I'm up here! Water is collecting in pots around buckets by the stairs as Sam heads up. Upstairs. Adam is climbing down the ladder from the loft. Adam: What do you mean, knock us down? Sam: Yes. Adam: Why? Sam: For the access road. Adam: Access to what? Sam: All the shops and houses they're going to be building on the green. Adam: Well, Hastings may need shops and houses, but why build on the green? Sam: I thought you'd be pleased. Adam: I am, I think. I should be delighted, I suppose. Sam: It's exactly what you wanted. And, of course, they'll pay you compensation. There's a meeting at the town hall tomorrow evening. Adam: That's not much notice! Sam: Well, provided they give you a good offer, how much notice do you need? Another guest, Mr West, arrives. West (offscreen): Oh dear! More problems? Adam: I'm afraid so. West heads past them up the stairs. White Friars estate. Foyle drives through the grounds with Deakin. Deakin: In answer to your question, I was with Monty in the Eighth Army. Tunisia, May 1943, a place called Medjerda. Foyle: I'm sorry to hear it. Deakin: I'm not asking for sympathy. A lot of my friends were klled. I was invalided home and, er, went back to the Bar. Wasn't much else I could do. They pull up in front of the house and Foyle gets out. Lounge. Foyle and Deakin are sitting with Jane and Sir Charles. Sir Charles: James won't speak to me. He won't speak to any of us. But you've seen him? Foyle: I have. Sir Charles: And? Jane: Is there anything that can give us any hope? Sir Charles: Deakin says you believe he may be innocent. Foyle: That's right. Sir Charles: Well, do you really think you can find a way through this? Foyle: Well, I'm not at all sure. Just seen him the once, but it's certainly worth the attempt. Sir Charles: What did he tell you? Foyle: Very little. But it does seem to me that there's more to the situation than he's allowing anyone to know. Sir Charles: Jane, I'll talk to Mr Foyle alone, if you don't mind. Why don't you show Deakin round the garden? He stands up. Jane: Er, yes, of course, dear, whatever you say. Shall we? She and Deakin leave. Sir Charles: James was never the same after his mother died. He was only eight. Maybe that's what this is all about. She was the only one he confided in. I loved Caroline more than anyone in the world. She was everything to me. But James was more her son than mine, and after she died he... drifted away. Foyle: Ever any mention of or sympathy with right-wing causes? Sir Charles: No! A model student at Eton, and at Sandhurst. A credit to his regiment. When he was taken prisoner at Dunkirk, I thought I'd lost him. Now I almost wish I had. We're one of the oldest families in England, and we have a long history of service to our country. My father was at the Colonial Office, my grandfather served in Salisbury's administration. I myself was an MP for 30 years. Foyle: This unit, the British Free Corps. Sir Charles: They're disgusting! Nothing. Foyle: What do you think drove James to join it? Sir Charles: He was a prisoner of wr. He had been for three years. He was starving and they offered him an alternative to a life behind barbed wire. He didn't know what he was doing. Foyle: Well, I'd have thought that would have been his defence. Sir Charles: Of course it's his defence! Foyle: He's not using it. Sir Charles: He's ashamed of himself. Foyle: Doesn't appear to be the case. Sir Charles: He's destroying me. This house, this land, my name, all that I've ever stood for, he'll bring it all crashing down. Mr Foyle, you told Deakin you could help us, but all you've done so far is ask a lot of questions. Why exactly are you here? Outside. Foyle walks towards Jane and Deakin through the grounds as Charles watches them from the window. Jane: Caroline Devereaux. Sometimes I think she never left this house. It's as if she never died. Deakin: So, er, how did it happen exactly? Jane: Oh, it was a horrible accident. She was walking over there. It was late summer. Deer can be very dangerous at that time of year. Nobody knows why she got so close to them, but they gored her with their antlers. Charles continues to watch from the window as Foyle catches up to the others. Deakin: Hello. All right? Foyle: I think so. Jane: Do come with us. Erm, I was going to show Mr Deakin the hide. Foyle: I'd love to. They walk on together. At the window, Charles gazes at lake.. Flashback. Caroline and young James walk along the edge of the lake together. Present. Charles turns away from the window. Flashback. Young James runs along, Caroline following. James: Come on! Caroline: I'm coming! James: Slowcoach! James reaches a birdwatching hide and Caroline follows him in. James (voiceover): It's got a black beak... Hide. James is standing on a ladder, looking out through the high windows with binoculars. Caroline climbs another ladder beside him. James: And... white patches on its wings. Caroline: And what do you think it is? James: A... nightingale? Caroline: Hmm, let me see. He gives her the binoculars. She looks out at the bird. Caroline: Hmm. Oh! No, it's a pied flycatcher. It's come all the way from Africa to be here. She gives the binoculars back to him. Jane (voiceover): She had it built... Present. She, Deakin and Foyle approach the hide. Jane: ...specially for James. The hide is now partly overgrown. Deakin: Does anyone use it any more? Jane: Well, he wouldn't go near it after she died. Foyle: Hope you don't mind me asking, erm... how well do you get on with him? Jane: Well, he, er, was fourteen when I married Charles. He was already at Eton. But, erm, I did what I could. Tried to be close. Foyle: And any sign of any interest in politics, that sort of thing, at that time? Jane: Not that I know of. Ah, I think he did want to become a policeman. Foyle: Really? Jane: He was very young. I don't think he was serious. Foyle: So... what other interests might he have had? Jane: Er, he used to play the piano. Foyle: Ah. Jane: He was actually very good. But there was this business with his piano teacher. A man called, er, Rothmann or Rothstein or something. Anyway, erm, he left under a bit of a cloud. Foyle: Mm-hmm? Jane: And, er, James lost interest after that and stopped. Foyle: Who else might I talk to who, erm, knew him as a boy? Jane: There was our old housekeeper, Mrs Ramsay. Foyle: Mm-hmm? Jane: But there's been this terrible business. Foyle: What's that? Jane: A young woman was found mrder in her house. Deakin: mrder? Jane: Oh, I, I'm sorry, I, I thought you'd know all about it. The police were only here yesterday. She sighs. Jane: My husband's secretary. She was found strangled. Flashback. Young James opens a sliding hatch in the wall of the hide and looks out with binoculars. Present, James's cell. He's sitting down on the bed. A prison warder unlocks the door and another comes in with a plate and mug. Warder: Dinner, Mr Devereaux. He sets the plate down on the table in the corner. James doesn't look at him. Warder: You still not talkative? He picks the plate back up and brings it over to the bed. Warder: Well, let's see what we've got for you. Corn-beef hash, beans and mashed potato. Warder 2 (offscreen): Heh. He tips the water in the cup out over James. The other warder chuckles. Warder: I am sorry. That was very clumsy of me. He tips the plate of food out over James's head as well. The man over at the door chuckles. Warder 2: nzi scum! Eat it off the floor. Warder: And you'd better get this cell cleaned up, or I'll have you up before the governor. They leave and lock the door. James laughs a little to himself. Hastings town hall. Sam and Adam head into the building together. Meeting hall. There's a buzz of conversation as people look at displays about the construction plans. Adam: Not many people here. Sam: Well, they only called the meeting yesterday. Adam: Don't you think that's a bit strange? Sam: No. Why? Harrison: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Please, take your seats. Sam sits down. Adam studies the displays a moment before following. Harrison: Let me introduce myself. I'm Michael Harrison, working with Harry Clifton here for the Hastings Planning Committee. Man: Never heard of it! Well, what good's it ever done? There are a few laughs. Harrison gestures to the plans on display. Harrison: Ladies and gentlemen, these are the facts. In the last five years, more than three million houses have been damaged or destroyed. As a country, we now need to build 750,000 new homes, 7,000 of them here in Hastings. But it may well be that the Luftwaffe has done us a favour. Jeers from the crowd. Harrison: We can look on this not as a challenge, but as an opportunity. Highcliffe Green. It's an empty space, even though it's only minutes away from the centre of Hastings. And here it is again. He moves over to another display. Harrison: The hub of a new development zone, with purpose-built housing, improved traffic flow, the sense and simplicity of concentric rings. Man: What's he talking about? I don't understand a word. Harrison: A new modern Hastings, with a bustling new heart. Man: But what happens to us? Man: And what about the existing bmb damage? Harrison: One at a time, please. May I ask where you live, sir? Man: Gladwell Avenue. Harrison: Well, then I congratulate you on your good fortune. There are derisive chuckles. Harrison: Every resident of Highcliffe Street, Quay Street and Gladwell Avenue is going to be required to move... Man: Move? Man: Build it somewhere else! Harrison: ...but will be generously compensated. Man: I like the sound of that. Harrison: What I'm here to talk to you about, ladies and gentlemen, is a new start. I've looked at these old houses. Many of them are in a state of disrepair, with outmoded plumbing and electrics. Man: Yeah, that's true. Harrison: They're too big and they're expensive to run. What I want to say to you is, welcome to the future. People applaud. Adam stands up. Adam: Adam Wainwright. I own the guesthouse, Hill House, on Highcliffe Street. So you're proposing to buy it, knock it down, and do what exactly? Harrison: Yeah, well, Hill House stands on what will be the main thoroughfare to the new shopping centre, Mr Wainwright. Adam: And this shopping centre, you're going to build that on the green? Harrison: That's right. Adam: But the green's always been there. Harrison: Well, there is no historical significance to the green. It's, it's just an empty space. Man: Yeah, but it's, it's common land. Adam: Exactly. Isn't it common land? Harrison: Well, yes, it is. But I, I don't think there'd be any great objections... Man: Oh, yes, there will. Harrison: Brilliant plan- Adam: Isn't it protected, though? Harrison: Well, I think you're rather overstating its importance. Sam: People have been grazing their animals there... Man: Sit down. Sam: ...for centuries. Man: Let him speak. He's got a point. Man: How much are gonna pay us? Man: Yeah! There's laughter from the crowd. Harrison: Now, that's the question I'd have asked. We'll be making valuations in the weeks to come. Man: Oh, now you're talking! Adam stands up again. Adam: Hang on. Are we sure about this? Why do we need a new development? Why can't we improve the Hastings we've already got? Man: Sit down! Man: You've had your turn! Harrison: There will, of course, be a full and proper consultation before any works begin. Woman: There won't. The crowd mutter. Harrison turns and winks at Harry Clifton behind him. Highcliffe Green. Sam and Adam are walking back together. Sam: Adam, are you all right? You haven't said anything this past half hour. Adam: I'm sorry, Sam. Miles away. Sam: We should be celebrating, shouldn't we? You get the money, you get sht of Hill House, you can start again. Adam: I wasn't thinking about Hill House. I really like Hastings. I know I haven't been here long, but... it's just, ah, it's the arrogance of it all that gets me, Sam. I mean, look at this green. It's been here forever. When William the Conqueror landed, he probably stood right here. Isn't this what we've been fighting for, for the past six years? Sam: England's green and pleasant land. Adam: Exactly. I think we've earned the right to run our own lives, not be pushed around by some nzi in a pinstripe suit. I mean, this is part of the England we've been defending. Jerry couldn't invde us. They couldn't destroy us, so why should we let someone like Harrison achieve what they didn't? Sam: Are you going to start a resistance movement? Adam: Yes. That's exactly what I'm gonna do. He heads back towards Hill House. Sam: Well then, count me in. I'll wave the flag or the gn or whatever. She links her arm with his. Adam: Perfect. He turns and kisses her on the cheek. Sam: Oh! They walk on together. Prison. James is let into the visiting room, where Foyle stands waiting for him. James: Back again. Foyle holds up a couple of books. Foyle: Brought some books. He sets them down on the table. James: Decline and Fall. Seems appropriate. Foyle: Mmm. James: I like Evelyn Waugh. Foyle: So do I. James: And it's not too long. I don't think I should be starting long books. Thank you. That's very kind of you. Foyle: Not at all. He sits down at the table. Foyle: A couple of things have happened since, er, we last met which may be of interest to you. I went to White Friars and met your father. James: Why did you do that? What's White Friars got to do with the British Free Corps? Foyle: Oh, it'd help to know why you joined. James: And you think my father can tell you? Foyle: He had an opinion. James: I bet he did. Foyle: Mmm. I also learned that you were very close to your mother. I wondered what she'd have made of all this. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but, erm, goose-stepping your way around Dresden in an SS uniform isn't something that I'd imagine would have endeared you to her. James: I've had enough of this. He turns and raises his voice to address the guard. James: I'd like to go back to my cell, please. As the guard unlocks the door, Foyle stands up and hands James the books. He takes them and leaves. sab. Milner and Perkins enter the sab block where Sylvie Johnstone is just bringing a horse out. Milner: Sylvie Johnstone? Sylvie: Yeah, that's me. Milner: I'm Detective Inspector Milner and this is Detective Constable Perkins. Sylvie: Right. She leads the horse out into the yard, followed by another woman with a second horse. Milner: Er, I believe you know Agnes Lyttleton? Sylvie: Yes, I know Agnes. Why are you asking? Milner: I'm afraid you're gonna have to prepare yourself for some bad news. Agnes is dad. Sylvie: Oh. She lets go of the reins. Milner: Perkins. He gestures after the horse. Milner: Could you? Sylvie: dad? Milner: I'm sorry. Sylvie: What happened? Milner: She was found at home. She was living with a Mrs Ramsay. Sylvie: I know. I went there once. Agnes was very happy there. Milner: It seems that someone came to the house when she was on her own and attcked her. She was klled in the bedroom. Sylvie: Oh, Lord. Milner: We have to ask you some questions. But we can come back, if you prefer. Sylvie: I hadn't known her that long. We met in a pub, got chatting about horses. She liked them, too. I'd moved down from London. I didn't know anyone and the two of us became friends. Is she really dad? Milner: I'm afraid so. Sylvie: I wonder if Jack knows? Milner: Jack? Who's Jack? Sylvie: Her young man. She never told me his surname. Er, Jack. She was crazy about him. Photo by the bed, all that sort of thing. Milner: Did you ever see the photograph? Sylvie: No. Perkins: Look, er, shall I go and tie this up? Sylvie gestures vaguely across the yard. Milner: Erm... what else can you tell me about Jack? Sylvie: Erm, not very much. She, she was very secretive about him 'cause he was, you know, he was doing something hush-hush overseas. Milner: Do you know where? Er, was it France? Sylvie: No, in Germany. She shouldn't have told me that, but she mentioned it once. I couldn't believe it. Jack had a friend. He was coming to see her. Milner: What friend? Sylvie: She didn't say. She just said she'd heard from someone who had news about Jack. Course, she was sick with worry about him, but he had news for her and he was coming down to Brighton and he'd see her. That was about a week ago. Milner: And she didn't give you the name of this friend? Sylvie: She never said, no. Perkins: So, what's she called, then? Sylvie: Who? Perkins: The horse. Sylvie: It's not a mare. It's a stallion. Can't, can't you tell? Perkins looks sheepish. Hastings. Adam and Sam are pasting up posters that read 'LET'S KEEP OUR PASTURES GREEN, NO TO HASTINGS NORTH' outside of the Hastings Town Development Corporation. Harrison emerges from the building and sees them. Adam: Come on, Sam. Later. Adam is speaking in the street with Sam and another man as the audience. Adam: We fought them on the beaches. We fought them on the fields and on the hills. We fought them on the streets. But what was the point if we were going to sell those beaches, those hills and those fields and those streets? A larger crowd has now gathered to listen. There are nods. Woman: Yes. Sam steps forward with a clipboard. Sam: Would you be able to sign this petition. Highcliffe Green. Adam sets up a camera while Sam points. Sam: For the human interest. Get a sense of perspective. Adam: Yes. They look down over a view of the town. Sam cups her hands around her eyes like binoculars, then turns to face Adam's camera, waggling her fingers at him. He takes a picture. Adam (voiceover): We fought them on the streets. Cut to Adam speaking to another group. Harrison passes by and Adam turns to address the words towards him. Adam: But what was the point if we were going to sell those beaches, those hills and those fields and streets for the sake of flats and shops we don't even need? Mrs Ramsay's house. She brings a tea set over to where Foyle sits in one of the armchairs. Ramsay: I can't talk about the family, Mr Foyle. She sits down opposite him. Ramsay: I was with them for many years, anything I might have seen, well... you know, it wasn't my place to see anything. Foyle: I do understand your discretion, of course. But we must remember that tomorrow this boy could be sentenced to hang. Ramsay: It's a terrible thing, him going over to the Germans like that. Foyle: Was it a surprise? Ramsay: Of course it was. He was never like that. Well, obviously, he was- he was never the same after the death of his mother. He adored her. We all did. Foyle: A happy family, would you say? Ramsay: They were a family like any other, Mr Foyle. They had their ups and downs. Foyle: What can you tell me about the piano teacher? Ramsay: Oh, yes, that was a bad business, too. His name was Rothstein. Simon Rothstein. He was a Hebrew. He was a good man. That's what I thought. He stole some of Lady Devereaux's jewellery and went to prison. That was just a few weeks before her own accident. You see what I'm saying? James lost the two people who were closest to him, and maybe that was what turned his head. Foyle: Thank you. He stands up. Foyle: Sir Charles's secretary was staying here, er, isn't that right? Ramsay: Agnes Lyttleton. You heard about that? Foyle: Mm-hmm. Ramsay: I'm not sure I can live here now. The house isn't the same any more. Foyle: I'd understand that. Ramsay: You don't suppose... It couldn't have had anything to do with Master James, could it? Foyle: Of course it's possible. Ramsay: Because I have something that might help you. She gets up and picks up an envelope. Ramsay: I, er, I found it when I was going through her laundry and it fell out of a pocket. The envelope is addressed to a Mr George Armstrong at the Crown Hotel. Foyle opens it and finds another envelope inside, this one addressed to Agnes. Ramsay: Now, that is from her young man. He was a prisoner-of-wr in Germany. And he wrote regularly. Foyle: And this is addressed to a hotel in London. Ramsay: And that's her handwriting on the envelope. Foyle: So she might have been forwarding it, perhaps? Ramsay: So it would seem. Foyle: She ever mention this, er, Mr Armstrong? Ramsay: No. And as far as I know, she never visited London, not while she was with me. I was going to pass it on to the detective who was here. Foyle: Well, I could do that for you. What's his name? Church Lane. Jack Stanford approaches Deakin's office building. Inside. Stanford enters Deakin's office and closes the door. Stanford: My name's Jack Stanford. Thank you for agreeing to see me. They shake hands. Deakin: You're a friend of James Devereaux? Stanford: Yes, yes. You're representing him, is that right? Deakin: Er, I would do, if he let me. He sits down. Stanford: Thank you. He takes a seat as well. Stanford: Erm, James and I were POWs together. Deakin: Where? Stanford: Oflag 79. In Brunswick. Deakin: That would have been before '43. Stanford: I knew him later as well. Deakin: The British Free Corps? Stanford: I'm afraid you're going to have to forgive me. I can't fully explain myself. Indeed, I must ask you not to mention to anyone that you've met me. It's, er, it's a matter of national security. Deakin: How can I help you? Stanford: Has he said anything? I mean, he's on trial for his life. Has he put forward any defence? Deakin: Not at all. He refuses to speak. Stanford: Why? Deakin: Well, maybe you could tell me. Stanford: I knew James very well, for a time, but I never completely understood him. Actually, I thought he was dad. I couldn't believe it when he turned up after Dresden. Maybe, in a way, it would have been better if he had died. Deakin: Maybe it would. Stanford: Erm, when does the trial begin? Deakin: Tomorrow. Er, the trial's a formality. Er, he's pleading guilty. Stanford: Oh, well, then there's nothing I can do. He stands up. Country lane. Perkins leans against the parked car while Milner walks along with Foyle. Milner takes the letter to Agnes out of the envelope. Milner: This is from Jack. Foyle: D'you know who that is? Milner: Er, Jack was Agnes Lyttleton's young man. And I presume the man in the photograph that had been taken from her room. He was a prisoner of wr. It was written in February. It took almost six months to arrive. Foyle: Well, not surprising, given the state of things in Europe. Milner: Doesn't give much away. Which, I suppose, is what you expect with German censorship. He wonders when the wr will end. I imagine there were thousands of letters like this written every day. Foyle takes the letter back from him. Foyle: This thing about the weather. "It's raining dogs and cats." Do we normally say it like that? Milner: No, it should be "cats and dogs". He's got it the wrong way round. Unless he's trying to tell us something. Foyle: And the date? Is that unusual or am I imagining it? The letter is dated '1945 February 10th'. Foyle: We'd normally write it... Milner: The other way round. Foyle: 10th of February 1945. Milner: Sir, I appreciate you bringing this to my attention. Foyle: I thought I'd take a look at the hotel this is addressed to. D'you mind if I hang onto this a little longer? Milner: Course not. Foyle: Thank you. Milner: And if there's anything else I can do to help. Foyle: There is. Simon Rothstein, piano teacher to the Devereaux. Arrested for theft a long while ago, but anything you can turn up would help. Milner: I'll check the files. Foyle returns to his car and Milner goes back over to rejoin Perkins. Perkins: So, what did he want? Milner: You searched the house and the room, Agnes's room. Perkins: Yes. Milner: So, why didn't you find the letter? Perkins: Which letter? Milner: The letter from Jack, Agnes' young man. Perkins: I never saw any letter. Milner: Exactly, constable. But if you'd been doing your job properly, you'd have found it. Perkins: So, has he got it? Milner: If you're referring to DCS Foyle, yes, he's got it. And he's going to keep it a while longer. Mr Foyle is helping us with our enquiries. Perkins: I thought he'd left the police. They both get into the car. Milner: Constable? If you and I are going to work together, do you think you could try showing just a modicum of respect? Perkins: Er, of course, sir. For you or for him? Milner looks at him as Perkins starts the engine. Highcliffe Green. Harrison is talking with one of the surveyors. Harrison: So, we've got the mains drainage coming down this right flank to that point and then cutting in where it will be terraced, right? And that will service all that area. Adam approaches them. Adam: You're a bit premature, aren't you? Harrison: I'm sorry? Adam: D'you remember me? Harrison: No. Adam: We met at the town hall the other evening. Because I opposed your sordid little scheme, I don't suppose you took a blind bit of notice? Harrison: All right, keep your hair on. Yeah, I remember you, you're, um... Adam: Adam Wainwright. Harrison: Gladwell Avenue. Adam: Hill House, Highcliffe Street. Harrison: Well, I'm sorry, Mr Wainwright, but the meeting's over and I'm busy. Adam: D'you know what I despise about you, Mr Harrison? It's not that you're changing Hastings, it's not that you have a vision for the future. No, what I detest about you is your high-handed attitude. This unshakeable belief that you really know what's best. Another of the surveyors comes over. A woman walking her dog has stopped to watch. Harrison: We are consulting with the Hastings... Adam: You don't care about this area, do you? That this piece of land has history or what it means to the people who live here. It's all just money to you. Harrison gestures to one of the surveyors. Harrison: Eric, will you ask this gentleman to move on? Adam: No, I will not move on. I live here. Why don't you move on? Take your equipment with you! He throws a nearby tripod to the ground. Eric grabs Adam's arm to try and restrain him. Harrison: I'll have the law onto you! That's council property. Adam kicks another piece of equipment over. Adam: Is this council property? Harrison and the surveyors all try to restrain him. Harrison: Someone call a policeman! Adam: Get off! Harrison: That's enough! Stop that! Adam: Get off! He elbows one of the surveyors, knocking him to the ground. Adam: Get off me! He turns and sees the man he elbowed lying slumped on the grass, his head bleeding. Harrison rushes over to check on him. Harrison: What have you done? Hastings police station. Foyle pulls up outside in his car and heads into the building. Cell. Adam is sitting on the bed. A uniformed officer unlocks the door to let Foyle in. Adam stands up. Adam: Mr Foyle! What are you doing here? Foyle: Sam told me what happened. Adam: Am I in a lot of trouble? The man, is he...? Foyle: Oh, he's all right, as it turns out, but, er, asault a planning committee member is perhaps not the wisest thing to be doing. Adam: Are they gonna press charges? Foyle: No, I persuaded Mr Harrison that, er, a court case might not be in his best interests. Adam: So I can go? Foyle: You can. Adam: Thank you. He picks up his jacket. Adam: How am I gonna face Sam? Foyle: Good question. Adam: Do you think she'll forgive me? Foyle: I don't think you've got too much to worry about. They head out of the cell. The Old Bailey. James Devereaux's hands are cuffed behind him. Deakin approaches him with his lawyer, Carstairs. Deakin: Mr Devereaux. You remember your KC, Mr Carstairs. James: Yes, of course. Carstairs: Mr Devereaux, let me implore you for one last time. When we go upstairs, you will be tried for high treason under the Treachery Act of 1940, as opposed to offences against the Defence Regulations of the year before. There is one critical difference between them. If you are found guilty, there can be no leeway. The judge can show you no clemency, do you understand that? James: How long will it take? Carstairs: If you insist on offering no defence, if you intend to plead guilty, then the whole thing may be over very quickly. The judge will sentence you and that will be that. James: No witnesses? Carstairs: Not unless you enter a defence. James: Is my father there? Deakin: I believe he's in the public gallery. James: Well, thanks for your time, Mr Deakin, Mr Carstairs. I just want it to be over with. Thank you. He's led away by a pair of guards. Carstairs watches him go for a moment, then turns to follow Deakin. Guesthouse dining room. Sam is clearing plates away. Sam: I think it's absolutely splendid. I didn't know you had it in you. Adam and Foyle are standing by the table. Adam: Didn't you? Sam: You're quite right to show them they're not gonna get away with it. Don't you agree, sir? Foyle: Er, there might be more productive routes. I must go. He turns to leave. Adam: The trouble is, everybody's taking the money. Sam: That's because they don't care about the green. Adam: To them, it's just a patch of grass. Mr West brings a teacup over and sets it down in front of Sam. Sam: Thank you, Mr West. West (offscreen): Thank you! Foyle: Which green are you talking about? Sam: Our green. Foyle: This one? Sam: Yes, the very same. Foyle: Well, that's not just any old green. Adam: Isn't it? Foyle: Well, no, it's not. They, er, they were going to excavate that, erm, not so very many years ago. Some settlement site or another. Adam: Settlement? How do you know about that? Foyle: School. Used to dig up all sorts of stuff there, pottery, that sort of thing. Adam: And where is it now? Foyle: No idea. Could very well still be there. Sam: Where? Foyle: The school. St Saviour's. Adam: Thank you. Foyle: Not at all. Bye. He leaves. Sam: St Saviour's. How appropriate. Old Bailey. James is led up a set of steps into the courtroom. Sir Charles is among the audience watching from the gallery above. James looks up at him, then turns away. Official: All rise. Everyone stands as the judge enters. Country lane. Foyle pulls up outside the home of Henry Blakesway and gets out of the car. Blakesway (voiceover): Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle. We met in court rather more times than either of us might care to remember. Back garden. Foyle follows Blakesway through the garden. Blakesway: Now, what is it that brings you here today? Foyle: Er, well, I hope you can tell me, er, what you remember about a, an old case that needs clearing up. A man called Rothstein, piano teacher? Blakesway: Piano teacher? Foyle: Simon Rothstein, erm, piano teacher to the Devereaux. Blakesway: Oh, yes. Rothstein. I remember now. Petty theft. What exactly is your interest in the case? Foyle: Well, not so much in the case as, erm, the sentence you handed down. Blakesway: Five years. Foyle: With hard labour, which led to his death in prison. Blakesway: Yes, well, I can't comment on past cases. He picks up a basket and turns away, heading across the garden. Foyle follows him. Foyle: Well, it seems the jewellery he's supposed to have stolen was worth only about £50 or so. Blakesway: Theft is still theft, Foyle. I'd have thought you of all people would appreciate that. Foyle: Well, of course, but even so, er, five years' hard labour for a first offence seems unnecessarily harsh. Blakesway: It was a grave breach of trust. Here you have a man, a refugee, welcomed into this country and into the home of one of our most ancient and distinguished families... Foyle: How many cases would you say you'd tried over the years? Blakesway: Thousands. Foyle: Do you remember them all in such detail or is it just this one? Blakesway: I'm not quite sure I like your tone. Foyle: No, no, no, er, simply wondering what makes this one so memorable for you? Blakesway: I've already told you. I greatly admired Sir Charles Devereaux. He was an outstanding MP. Foyle: Do you know him? Blakesway: We may have met. But I had absolutely no reason not to try that case. The evidence was indisputable. Charles didn't even appear as a witness. Foyle: "Charles"? That would be Sir Charles? And it would help, don't you think, to discount the possibility that, er, Charles, in any way, influenced this hugely disproportionate sentence? Blakesway: I think you should leave now. Foyle: I'll see myself out. He turns to go. Judge (voiceover): James Devereaux. Courtroom. Judge: I have read the depositions and the exhibits in this case. I am satisfied you knew what you did. And you did it intentionally and deliberately, in the knowledge that becoming a member... Cut to Foyle driving along in his car. Judge (voiceover): ...of the so-called British Free Corps amounted to high treason. Foyle gets out of the car outside the house of Isaac Rothstein. Isaac (voiceover): But it was a lie. Inside. Isaac picks up a framed photo of his son Simon. Isaac: It was all lies. He stole nothing. Foyle: Wasn't there something about the necklace? Isaac: You think he would steal from Lady Devereaux? He respected her. He would do anything for her, and for her son, also. Flashback. Simon Rothstein plays the piano at White Friars while young James chases Caroline around the table with a lady sword. Caroline: Rothstein, you must help me! Simon: Run, Lady Devereaux, run! Caroline: This warrior from England shall- James points the sword at her. James: Die! Caroline: Oh! The door opens and Sir Charles enters. Sir Charles: What's going on here? Simon stops playing and he and James both stand up straight. Caroline leaves the room while Charles glares at James. Judge (voiceover): James Devereaux. Courtroom. James stands listening impassively. Judge: you come from a noble family, one that has long given service to the nation. But that only casts your transgressions in a harsher light. Up in the gallery, Sir Charles closes his eyes. Judge: You now stand a self-confessed traitor to your king and country. Jack Stanford is also watching from the gallery. Judge: And you have forfeited your right to live. Isaac (voiceover): But that was the mistake he made, you see. Isaac's house. Isaac: He got too close to her. Flashback to Caroline and Simon walking through the grounds at White Friars and talking. Isaac (voiceover): 'My son knew too many secrets, Mr Foyle. Cut back to the present. Isaac: That is why he had to be got out of there. That is why he had to be locked away. Courtroom. A court official places the black cap atop the judge's head. Judge: The sentence of this court is that you be taken from here to a place of lawful execution and hanged from the neck until you are dad. The Lord have mercy on your soul. Vicar: Amen. Deakin shakes his head slightly. Sir Charles looks down. James gazes up at him, expressionless, then turns away. Judge (offscreen): Take him down! James is led back out of the courtroom. Outside. A crowd of journalists shout questions at the people coming out of the courtroom. Journalist: Sir Charles! Any comments? Journalist: Sir Charles! Any comment? Sir Charles pushes his way through without responding. Journalist: How's Lady Devereaux taking it? Journalist: Will there be an appeal? Sir Charles passes Deakin. Journalist: Is there gonna be an appeal? Journalist: Sir Charles! Journalist: Do you have anything to say to the press. The journalists and the rest of the crowd follow him out, leaving Deakin and Carstairs behind. Deakin: Thank you, Mr Carstairs. Carstairs: I wish I could have done something more to help. You know, I can't help feeling there's something more to all this. I wonder- Jack Stanford bumps into Deakin as he strides away. Stanford: I'm so sorry. He turns away. London. Foyle drives through the streets. Crown Hotel. Foyle walks into the building. As he enters the empty reception are, the news is playing on a wireless behind the desk. Radio: In his summing-up, the judge said that he had no alternative but to pass the gravest sentence of all. James Devereaux had been able to offer no defence and will now be returned to his cell to await the hangman. The receptionist, Dillon, turns it off as he returns to the desk. Foyle: Afternoon. Dillon: Can I help you? Foyle: I hope so. Do you have a George Armstrong staying or working here? Dillon: Never heard of him. Foyle: Got a letter for him. He shows Dillon the envelope. Dillon: No, there's no George Armstrong here. Who are you? Foyle: The name's Foyle. Dillon: I can't help you, I'm afraid. Foyle: Right. Never received anything like this before? Dillon: No. Foyle: No, and you're not used as a mail box or a forwarding address? Dillon: We're a hotel, Mr Foyle, that's all. You can see for yourself. Foyle: Thank you very much. He tucks the envelope into his pocket. Dillon: I can take that for you, if you like. Foyle: Why would you wanna do that, Mr, erm...? Dillon: Dillon. It's got our address on it. If someone comes in, I can hand it over. Foyle: Better still, if anyone comes in, send them to me. I'll hand it over. He leaves. Dillon picks up the phone and dials. Dillon: This is Dillon. There's something you need to know. St Saviour's School. Sam and Adam are there with one of the teachers, Miss Longbridge. Sam picks up a blackened bone from a table. Sam: What's this? Longbridge: It's a radius. Sam: A radius of what? Longbridge: A radius is a bone in the forearm, my dear. Adam: What else did you find, Miss Longbridge? Longbridge: Ooh. Coins and pottery. She gestures to the finds set out on a table. Longbridge: And we've found some lanterns. Some of them are in very good condition. And this. She goes over to a cupboard and takes out a cloth-wrapped package. Longbridge: It's very old. She unwraps it to reveal a tube-shaped object. Longbridge: But I've never been able to discover what it's for. Adam: I don't suppose we can borrow this? Longbridge: Oh, I don't think so. Adam: We'll take very great care of it. Longbridge: I suppose so. Adam: Thank you. Thank you very much. Miss Longbridge leads the two of them back out. Sam: I don't suppose you remember a pupil called Christopher Foyle? Longbridge: Christopher Foyle? Yes! Christopher Foyle. I remember him. Always asking questions. I often wondered what happened to him. Hill House guesthouse. Sam returns to the building, dodging round one of the guests as he comes out. Sam: Ooh, I'm sorry. Dining room. Adam sits at a desk covered in maps. Sam brings over a stack of books. Adam: There were Romans in Hastings. Somebody must have written about it. Crawley (offscreen): Goodbye! Mrs Crawley waves to them from the lounge as she heads out. Sam: So, where do we start? Adam: Well, there's the museum. Or back to the library. Or there's that college in Brighton. Sam goes through the stack of photographs Adam took on the green, laughing when she finds one of herself. The next one is Adam striking a pose. She shows it to him. Sam: Well, I know where I'm going to start. The kitchen. Tea! Church Lane. Deakin returns to his office building. Inside. Deakin leads Foyle through into the office. Deakin: Well, went exactly as I said. Sentenced to hang. Foyle: And when is that likely to happen? Deakin: 17th. Devilish quick. I suppose they want to get it over with. So, when are you leaving for America? Deakin: Same day. Deakin: Well, you did everything you could. Foyle: I wonder. Deakin: Look here, Mr Foyle. Why don't you come clean with me? I've made some enquiries about you and, frankly, you've misled me. You're, you're not even a policeman, not any more. What is your interest in James Devereaux? Foyle: Well, in the circumstances, whatever interest I may or may not have in him is irrelevant. In the interests of justice, my concern is as great as I'd expect yours to be. Deakin: The sentence has been passed in a court of law. It's over. There's nothing you can do, Mr Foyle. Foyle: I disagree. I mean, it's obviously of no interest to you. It certainly is to me why Sir Charles's secretary was mrder at the time all this was happening. I'd certainly like to know where Jack is, the prisoner-of-wr who was writing to her, and why the Devereaux's piano teacher was the victim of an obvious miscarriage of justice and died in prison. So it seems to me there's a lot to be done. And since clearly no one else is gonna do it, I will. Excuse me. He goes to leave? Deakin: Jack? Foyle turns back. Deakin: Erm... er, I had a young man in the office named Jack a couple of days ago. Introduced himself as a friend of James Devereaux. They were POWs together in Germany. Foyle: And? Deakin: He was very mysterious. Er, perhaps I shouldn't be telling you this. He wanted to help James. But, at the same time, he wasn't giving anything away. I also saw him in court. Foyle: Surname? Deakin: Stanford. Foyle: Thank you. He leaves. Outside. Foyle heads back up the steps to his car. A man in a suit, Walcott, is waiting for him at the top. Walcott (offscreen): Mr Foyle? Foyle: Yeah. Walcott: I wonder if you could come with me, sir? Foyle: Yes, all right. He lead Foyle to another car and Foyle gets in the back. MI9 building. Walcott escorts Foyle into the office of Edward Brenner. Walcott: Mr Foyle for you, sir. Brenner: Ah. Mr Foyle. He shakes Foyle's hand. Jack Stanford walks up behind him. Brenner: I suppose we ought to apologise to you for bringing you here in this way. Foyle: No, not at all. Always a pleasure. Brenner: Thank you, Walcott. Walcott leaves. Brenner: I expect you're wondering what this is all about? Foyle: Well, intelligence services communicating with prisoners overseas, perhaps? Brenner: You have a letter of ours. I wonder if I could have it? Foyle: Ah. Forgive me. You are? Brenner: My name is Brenner. And this is Jack Stanford. He was with James Devereaux in Oflag 79 and then in Dresden. Stanford: How do you do? Foyle: How do you do? He takes out the letter. Foyle: This is not actually addressed to you. Brenner: Er, even so, it was intended for my office, Mr Foyle, and it is quite important. Foyle: Well, it's also quite important to the police, since it's turned up as part of a mrder investigation, so any light you could shed on that would be appreciated. Brenner: I know you've had dealings with us before, Mr Foyle, so I'm sure I can rely on your discretion. I head up a section here within MI9. We were established in December '41 to teach evasion and escape techniques to personnel. That's ordinary officers and servicemen heading into action. Stanford: There were a series of seminars. Brenner: Exactly. We basically taught them how to make a nuisance of themselves if they got caught by the enemy. And one vital part of the work was getting information to us behind Jerry's back. Stanford: Er, via coded letters. Brenner: POWs would send letters to family and friends and they then forwarded them on to us. Foyle: How many agents were there? Brenner: Oh, there were hundreds of them, all over Europe. He gestures to a large map on the wall. Foyle: And how did you communicate with them? Brenner: We couldn't. By the end of the wr, we weren't sure how many of them we had or who they were. Our office in Southgate took a direct ht and many of the records were destroyed. So we've had to rely on agents like Stanford here to get in touch with us. Foyle: Hmm. And you were a member of the British Free Corps? Stanford: Yes, yes, it seemed like a good idea. At first I thought they might amount to something. My aim was to spread discord, undermine morale and keep MI9 aware of their movements. Brenner: Stanford was afforded a remarkable degree of freedom. And thanks to him, we received a great deal of information about troop movements, bmb damage, much, much more. Foyle: Mm-hmm. What about James Devereaux? Stanford: Oh, he, he wasn't like the others, Mr Foyle. I knew him before the wr. We were at Eton together. I don't know what he was doing in the Free Corps and I'm being completely honest when I say I feel sorry for him. Foyle: Hmm. Is he a traitor? Stanford: They all are, but for different reasons. My feeling about Devereaux is that he was out of his depth. Foyle: Went missing for a very long time after Dresden. Stanford: Mmm. Foyle: What do you think happened to him? Stanford: The bmb of Dresden. Was a dreadful business. Er, we were in a cafe together when it started. We got separated in the street. It was dark, there was a lot of panic. I thought he must have been klled. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Stanford: The city, the next morning, you've no idea. So many bodies. Foyle: Yes, so you knew Agnes Lyttleton? Stanford: Yes, yes, she was a friend of mine. James introduced us. As you know, I used her to drop off my letters. Foyle: You knew she was dad? Stanford: Yes, yes. I read about it in the papers. Shocking. Foyle: And were you able to see her after you got back? Stanford: No. Brenner: The letter, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Oh, yeah. No need to remind you that it's, er, police evidence. He hands it over. Brenner: Of course. We have absolutely no intention of interfering with any police investigation. Foyle: Well, clearly no intention of, er, helping it either. Brenner: I don't see it makes much difference. You're no longer a police officer. Foyle: Absolutely right. Doesn't stop the rest of them investigating. Brenner: Then I suggest you leave it to them, Mr Foyle. This really isn't your affair. Foyle: Point taken. He leaves. Guesthouse. Adam is still at the dining table with all their research materials. He sits back and stretches as Sam comes down the stairs behind him with Mr West. She nods to West as he leaves. Sam: Mr West. She enters the dining room. Sam: Perhaps Mr Foyle was wrong about the settlement. Adam: Mr Foyle is never wrong. Mrs Ramsay's house. She escorts Milner, Perkins and Foyle into the sitting room. Ramsay: So there are three of you now? Milner: Well, Mr Foyle has kindly agreed to help us with our investigation. Ramsay: I'd have thought you'd have caught him by this time. Erm, so, why are you here? I told you everything I know the last time. Foyle: We wondered what the name Jack might mean to you? Ramsay: Jack? Milner: Jack Stanford. She never mentioned him? Ramsay: No. Foyle: But the name did seem to mean something to you just now. Ramsay: Well, I did know a Jack. But that was a long time ago. Foyle: Go on. Flashback. Young James runs down a staircase at White Friars, dressed as an explore and holding his wooden sword. Caroline emerges from one of the rooms behind. James runs into another room where Mrs Ramsay is cleaning and shuts the door. He turns to Mrs Ramsay. James: Shh! A moment later, Caroline enters the room. Caroline: Mrs Ramsay. I don't suppose you've seen a dark, dangerous-looking adventurer by the name of Jack Harkaway, have you? Ramsay: No, Lady Devereaux. I've just been cleaning in here. Caroline: I see. Ah! Now, I wonder where he could be hiding? Wait a minute. I saw that curtain move. James jumps out from behind the curtain with his sword. Caroline: Ah! James: Have at you! Caroline: I have you, Jack Harkaway. My boy, Jack! Mrs Ramsay's house. Caroline (voiceover): Come on, it's lunch time. Adventurers must eat. Ramsay: Jack. That was her name for him. That's what she always used to call him. After the hero in the comic books. Outside. Foyle lingers to talks with Milner and Perkins on the doorstep. Perkins heads over to get into the car, and a moment later Foyle and Milner part and head over to their separate cars as well. Prison visiting room. James Devereaux stands waiting. The guard unlocks the door to let Foyle inside. Foyle: Why do you keep agreeing to see me? James: To find out why you keep coming back. Presumably this time it's to say goodbye? Foyle: Oh, far from it. Er, but I do think it's time we were honest with each other. James: It's certainly time you were honest with me. Foyle: Has Agnes been to see you? James: How do you know about her? Foyle: Because I know about you... Jack. Has she been? James: No. Foyle: D'you know why? James shakes his head. Foyle sits down at the table. Foyle: I know what you're doing. Not at all sure why you're doing it, but it's a tragedy you haven't been able to see the consequences. And I think it's time you stopped. Because she's dad. James: How? Foyle: She was strangled at an address in Brighton, an address you'd be very familiar with. And you know who did it. Hastings Town Development Corporation. Sam and Adam enter the building along with another man, Mr Huntsville. Inside. The three of them are with Mr Harrison in his office. Harrison: To be perfectly honest, Mr Wainwright, I don't know why you just can't take the money like everyone else. Adam: Because it's not just a matter of money, Mr Harrison. Harrison: Isn't it? How many names did you manage to get on that petition of yours? Sam: We got over 200. Harrison: 200. He laughs. Adam: The petition is irrelevant. You're not building on the green because there's evidence of a settlement. Harrison: What because you found a few old coins and broken lanterns? Sam: We never mentioned anything about lanterns. But I will tell you that we found this. She unwraps the tube-shaped object from its cloth covering. Harrison: What is that? Adam: The coins are to pay the ferryman. The lantern's to light the way to Hades. And this, as Mr Huntsville has verified, is a tubulus. They poured honey and wine through it to feed the dad. Everything points to there being a major Roman burial site underneath Highcliffe Green, Mr Harrison. So no one's going to let you anywhere near it. Harrison turns away and thumps the table. Harrison: Why? Why did you have to get involved in all that? Don't you believe in progress? Adam: Progress or profit? I think I know which one you believe in. Outside. Sam and Adam leave the building together. Sam: Adam, you were magnificent! Adam: Do you think so? Sam: Oh, it's nothing less than a triumph for democracy. Adam: Well, common sense. Sam: And Hill House. We could have a fête on the green to celebrate. Yes. What do you think? There's a sudden explsin from the buildings on the other side of the green, and they both jump in shock. Adam: That's Hill House. Sam: Crikey! Adam: Not another bmb! There are screams. Sam and Adam run back to the wrecked guesthouse. As they head towards the door, debris falls from above. Sam: Oh! No, Adam, wait. Wait for the fre brigade. She holds him back. Adam: What about the guests? He heads into the building and Sam follows him in. Inside. A man is making his way out, covered in dust with a cloth over his face. Adam: Are you all right? Man: Yes, I'm fine! Debris is falling onto the stairs as Mr West makes his way down, shielding his head. West: Stay back, Mr Wainwright! Adam: Mr West! Get out of here. Is there anybody else up there? West: I don't think so. Don't think so. Sam walks through into one of the downstairs rooms, and Adam chases after her. Adam: Sam? Mrs Crawley is slumped in one of the chairs in the lounge. Adam: Mrs Crawley! Sam: Is she all right? She hurries over to join them. The bell of a fre engine rings outside. Adam checks Mrs Crawley's pulse. Adam: She's still got a pulse, she's still breathing. Fireman (offscreen): Anybody in there? A pair of firemen enter the building. Fireman: I can smell gas. Fireman: Anybody here? Fireman: What the hell are you doing in here? This whole place could collapse at any moment. Adam: It's my hotel! Sam: We've got someone here who's hurt. Fireman: All right, we'll take over now. Look, just get out into the street. They head back out and he approaches Mrs Crawley. Fireman: Come on, I've got you now. Come on, darling. There you go. Sam stops in the front hall, looking up at the devastation. Sam: Oh, Adam. I'm sorry. Adam: I don't know, Sam. I never was cut out to run a hotel, anyway. Mrs Crawley groans weakly as the fireman carries her out past them. Fireman: There you go. Adam: What will you do now? Fireman: That's it. Adam: I thought I might marry you. Sam: What? Adam: I've got no house, no job, no money and no future. He gets down on one knee. Adam: Will you marry me, Sam? She covers her mouth, then clasps his hands. Sam: Adam! Adam: You'd better hurry up before a wall falls on top of us. Fireman: Come on, you two, out! Sam: Oh. All right, yes, I will. Please get up! Adam: Do you mean it? Yes, of course I mean it. Of course I'll marry you. I'll marry you in a sht. Adam: Sam, that's wonderful. They kiss, then break apart as rubble crashes around them. Adam lifts Sam off the ground to carry her out. White Friars. Foyle drives up to the house. Lounge. Sir Charles, standing by the window, turns as the door opens. Jane and Foyle enter. Foyle: Oh, it's very good news, Sir Charles, with regards to James. Sir Charles: What? Foyle: Er, well, the verdict, that is to say, the death penalty, is certain to be overturned. Jane: Darling, that's wonderful! Sir Charles: That's... more than I could have hoped for. Jane: Oh. But how? How did this happen? Foyle: Well, he decided to speak. And though there are various procedures to go through, in the light of what he said, he'll be released very soon. Jane: Oh, my goodness. Oh, we're... They both sit down. Jane: We're very grateful to you, Mr Foyle. Foyle: The only problem is, er, you'll now have to account for your part in all this. Sir Charles: I don't understand. Flashback to Foyle and James at the table in the visiting room. Foyle: How long had you known Agnes? James: I knew her when we were children. Her father worked on the estate. We used to play together. Foyle: And later? You wrote to her, from Germany. And she helped pass on coded information in the letters to the intelligence services, which you signed "Jack". James: How do you know all this? Foyle: So you don't deny it? James: No. Foyle: Why "Jack"? James: My mother used to call me Jack. It was the name of a character in a story that I loved as a boy. Foyle: Jack... James: Harkaway. Foyle (voiceover): He joined the British Free Corps... Cut back to the present. Foyle: ...to undermine and to disrupt it and used the freedom of movement it gave him to send reports back to intelligence here. He's a brave young man. Sir Charles: I knew it. I knew he couldn't have been a traitor. Jane: Why didn't he say this? Why did it never come out in the trial? Foyle: Because he wanted to hang, as a traitor. Flashback to the visiting room. James: The codes I used existed in various forms. The letter you've mentioned was written in 56-0, for example. Which effectively means you pick out the fifth and sixth word of each line. Foyle: And the backward date? James: Indicates a concealed code. Foyle: Anyone else in the British Free Corps know you were doing this? James: Yes, there was. Flashback to wartime Germany. As James walks through the yard, Jack Stanford comes up behind him. Stanford: James? James. This is yours, I believe. He holds up an open envelope. James: Where did you get that? He snatches for it, but Stanford pulls it away. Stanford: Agnes Lyttleton? You never mentioned a girl back home. James: Give it to me. Stanford: You take a devil of a time writing these letters, you know. All those notes you make. If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were working on some sort of code. Are you, James? Actually, that would explain a lot of things. I wondered what you were doing here, you of all people. Always asking questions. The first of the bunch to undermine morale. But don't worry. I'm not gonna tell anyone. I'm your friend. You can trust me. James takes the envelope back. Stanford: But you're a sly old bugger, aren't you? Prison visiting room. James: He'd worked it all out for himself. I didn't need to say anything. Milner (voiceover): Jack Stanford? MI9 offices. Brenner stands watching as Milner makes the arrest of Stanford. Milner: I'm arresting you for the mrder of Agnes Lyttleton. You don't have to say anything, but anything you do say may be taken down and used in evidence against you. Stanford: Oh. Well, that's a bit annoying, I must say. Really thought I might get away with it. End of the wr, all the confusion, lost records, all the rest of it. Brenner: I don't understand. Milner: The letters that you were receiving from Germany weren't from Stanford. They were from James Devereaux, using a childhood nickname. When Stanford found out that James had gone missing, presumed dad, in Dresden, he took over his identity to save his own neck. Brenner: Is this true? Stanford: I thought he was dad. It was just a coincidence that he was using my name, so I thought, why not? Give it a sht. Brenner: But what about this girl? Why, why would she have to die? Milner: She was the only one who knew the letters had been written by James. As soon as the trial began, she would have come forward. Brenner: So he klled her. Flashback to Stanford creeping up on Agnes. Milner (voiceover): The moment that James was arrested and brought home, it was a death sentence for her. Stanford couldn't let her talk. There was only one thing to do. Stanford strangles Agnes, then picks up the photograph of James. Milner (voiceover): You took the photograph of James Devereaux with you, the one thing that would have still identified him as her boyfriend and the real author of the letters. MI9 offices. Brenner (offscreen): You're a mrder and a traitor. Stanford: Actually, I only joined the British Free Corps because I was bored and hungry. I'd had three years as a POW. Always knew the whole thing would be a complete lash-up. He laughs a little. Brenner (offscreen): Why do you find this so funny? Stanford: Well, I was just thinking about what you said. mrder and a traitor. I suppose it's a shame they can't hang me twice. Sir Charles (voiceover): So. Milner turns to an uniformed officer behind him. Milner: Take him away. Sir Charles (voiceover): This man Stanford was the real traitor. Cut back to the present. Sir Charles: But why did my son let him get away with it? Why didn't he speak out? Foyle: Well, at the time, he was unaware of Stanford's involvement. Jane: None of this tells us why he put himself in that position in the first place. I don't understand. Why would he want to die? Foyle: Well, there are those far more qualified than myself to explain this sort of thing, but as far as I understand it, he went missing as a result of the severe nervous collapse he experienced during the Dresden bmb, itself compounded by the suppressed traumas suffered in his childhood. Jane: Would we be talking about the death of his mother? Foyle: Would we? Foyle (voiceover): Why was it so very important for your father to be at the trial... Cut back to the prison visiting room. Foyle: ...when you refused to even see or speak to him before it? And why would he believe that you want to punish him? James: Because it's true. He needs to be. Foyle: Punished? Because of your mother? I knew her. I was injured in the first wr. Not very badly, but I was young, alone, frightened. She was a volunteer nurse. Your mother was beautiful. A tear rolls down James's face. Foyle: I knew her. James: She was married to my father at the time. Foyle: Yes. I can tell you that she was desperately unhappy with the life she was leading, at her happiest when he was away. But she chose to pursue that life for the sake of the child she was carrying. James: Me. Foyle nods. They're both silent for a few moments, then James gets up to look out of the window. Foyle: The accident that klled her was just dreadful. I was very unhappy to hear that she'd died. James: It wasn't an accident. He looks back at Foyle. James: They'd had a terrible argument. Something about Simon, my old piano teacher. Sir Charles (voiceover): You will not leave me. You will not humiliate me and my family in this manner. James: And I was in the hide. Caroline (voiceover): I've had enough. This is the end of it. Flashback. Caroline and Charles argue outside the hide. Caroline: He didn't steal anything. You had him sent to prison because he was my friend, because he knew how you treated me. Sir Charles: He's a Jew. He's nothing. Young James is in the hide with his binoculars. Caroline: You make me sick, Charles! I'm leaving you. Sir Charles: You will not leave me. Caroline: How will you stop me? I'll tell the whole world what sort of man you are! She starts to storm away, and he grabs her arm, shoving her back. He has a walking stick in his other hand. Sir Charles: No! Caroline: Get out of my way! Sir Charles: You will not do this. You will not leave me. I will stop you. I will! He strikes her over the head with the walking stick, and she cries out as she falls to the ground. Inside the hide, James lowers the binoculars but continues to watch as the thuds and Caroline's cries continue. Cut back to the prison visiting room. James and Foyle are both silent. Flashback. Young James, face expressionless, gazes down at his mother's body. Present day. Jane swallows at looks at Charles. Jane: Dear God, Charles. You always said you loved her. Charles? Sir Charles: I couldn't let her walk out on me. My family doesn't divorce. It's never happened. Jane: So, so you k*lled her. She starts to cry as she looks up at Foyle. Jane: And James saw it all. That poor little boy. She stands up to leave the room. Charles says nothing, just sits rigidly. Foyle watches him for a moment, then turns to leave as well. Outside. Uniformed police escort Charles out of the building. Perkins, Milner and Foyle watch as they get into a police car. Policeman: This way, sir. Milner: Thank you once again, sir. Foyle: Well, not at all, thank you. Milner: No, I can't take the credit for the arrest. Foyle: I don't see why not. The car containing Charles drives away. Milner: So, this is goodbye. Foyle: Yeah, it looks like it. You're on your own now. They shake hands. Perkins: He's got me, sir. Foyle: Precisely. He walks away. Foyle: Good luck. Milner follows him to the car and closes the door for him, then he and Perkins head for their own car. Prison visiting room. James: What will happen to me now? Foyle: Well, I'd say you'll be released. The guard unlocks the door behind. Foyle: May take a day or two. And I'll be away for a while. But, erm as soon as I'm back, if there's anything I can do to help... James steps forward to shake his hand. James: Thank you, sir. Foyle smiles and turns to go. Flashback to young James chasing his mother through the grounds at White Friars. Caroline: You got me, you got me, you got me! Caroline (voiceover): Christopher, I'm so sorry. I can't see you again and I want you to promise that you'll never, ever try to contact me again, whatever happens. Flashback to the younger Foyle on the beach with Caroline. Caroline: Now I have to think about the child, so I'm going back to Charles. Present day. Foyle stands on the same beach. Caroline (voiceover): There's no other way. You don't know him. Flashback. Caroline turns to look back as she walks away. Caroline (voiceover): Please, for the sake of everything we've been to one another. Please... forget me. Present day. Foyle turns to walk away across the beach. Docks. The Queen Mary is waiting at the dock for passengers to board. Foyle's car pulls up alongside a military truck full of returning GIs. Sam is driving, with Adam in the back. The three of them get out. Foyle: Thank you. He gets his luggage from the back. Sam: Happy to drive you, sir, one last time. Foyle: And do let me know when it's going to happen. She looks up at Adam with a smile. Sam: As soon as possible. Foyle: And I'll do my best to get back in time. Sam: All the relatives are fighting over which church to have the ceremony in. Of course, it doesn't help having four vicars and a bishop in the family. Foyle: And then what? Adam: Oh, I'm thinking of getting into politics. That business over the green has given me a taste for it. Sam: We're going to have lots of children and spoil them all rotten. Foyle: I'm very pleased to hear it. Bye. He joins the group waiting to get onboard the ship. GI: I'm gonna go and see my kids, you know. Adam puts his arm around Sam. Announcement: All remaining passengers, the Queen Mary is leaving for New York. Sam: Send us a postcard, sir! He turns to look back. Foyle: I will. Announcement: Please make your way... Sam: And good luck! Announcement: ...to the forward gangway, please. Foyle shows his papers at the gate, gets a nod and passes through. GI: Let's go, man, let's go. Foyle walks towards the ship.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "07x03 - The Hide"}	foreverdreaming
The desert at night. Two military Jeeps drive along in the darkness as a storm rages above. CAPTION: Jornado Del Muerto, New Mexico, July 16th 1945 Test base. Scientist Max Hoffman is talking with another man. Hoffman: That's the kind of thing we need. As the Jeeps approach he gestures towards them. Hoffman: Ah, here's my guest. Man: Oh, of course. One of the Jeeps comes to a halt. Englishman Professor Michael Fraser gets down from the passenger seat. Fraser: Thank you, sergeant. Soldier: Help you, ma'am? Frasers wife Helen gets down from the back. Hoffman walks over to meet them. Hoffman: Professor Fraser. Max Hoffman. We met briefly. They shake hands. Fraser: At Oak Ridge, Tennessee, yes. Yes, I remember. Hoffman: I know your work, of course, Professor, and I'm delighted to see you. Fraser turns to introduce his wife. Fraser: Er, my wife Helen. She works as my assistant. Hoffman: Ah. Pleased to meet you, Mrs Fraser. They shake hands. Helen: How do you do? Hoffman looks at his watch. Hoffman: Ah, come, come. We should- we should get inside. The tests will be starting soon. He opens the door to the laboratory for them. Fraser: Thank you. Test site. A light blinks atop a high tower structure in the distance. Laboratory. One of the scientists, Patrick, gazes out through an observation window at tower as voices murmur over radio equipment. He turns Helen arrives. Patrick: Oh, Helen. Helen: Patrick. Patrick: Welcome. Just here. He shows Helen where to go while Hoffman and Fraser linger behind. Hoffman: Thank God the storm has passed over. Fraser: I wonder if God had anything to do with it. Hoffman: Are you religious, Professor Fraser? Fraser: Not any more. Hoffman: Ah. Patrick: Professor. Fraser: Patrick. They shake hands. Patrick: I have some goggles over here for you. Excuse us, fellas. Hoffman: I never thought I'd be here. That this day would arrive. Helen: How far are we from the tower? Hoffman: 5.68 miles. 10,000 yards. You don't need to be worried. Helen: I'm not. Hoffman looks out at the tower. Man (offscreen): Keep it steady. Fraser: Here. He gives her some goggles. Man (offscreen): All right? Hoffman looks out through the window again. Man (offscreen): Steady the tripod. All right? Hoffman: For me this is the end of a long journey. Man (offscreen): I'm gonna roll that back. Hoffman: I wish my family could have seen this. Helen: They died in the wr? Hoffman: Treblinka. Helen: Maybe after this there will be no more wars, Mr Hoffman. Man (offscreen): Perimeter clear? Hoffman: Let's hope so. Man (offscreen): Okay, guys, let's close these... Hoffman: For all our sakes. Man (offscreen): ...until transport is clear, please. Outside. The two Jeeps drive away. Inside. Everyone is now wearing their goggles. Patrick turns away from the windows. Patrick: Our father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come... Hoffman: Have you thought what will happen after all this? If it doesn't work. Fraser: If it doesn't work... maybe we should be glad. Radio: Fifteen, fourteen... Man (offscreen): Have they signalled yet? Radio: Thirteen... Man: There. Radio: Twelve, eleven, ten, nine... Test site. A red light begins to blink from the tower. Radio: Eight, seven... Inside. Hoffman and he Frasers watch from the windows Radio: Six, five, four, three, two, one. A brilliant white light blazes in through the windows and the laboratory shakes. Outside, a mushroom cloud blossoms. The shockwave rolls towards the building, blwing all the windows in. Fraser holds onto his wife as the building shakes, and then they look out again as the mushroom cloud turns fiery. Patrick: That's it! My God! That's it! That's it! Man (offscreen): Wow. Man (offscreen): History! The scientists remove their goggles. Fraser: It worked. He exchanges stunned looks with Hoffman. Man (offscreen): Whoa. Whoa. A darkened building at night. Caption: One Year Later Caption: Soviet Embassy, London A man with a torch, Aleksei Gorin, moves through a room full of file boxes. He rfles through documents, searching. Staircase. Four men hurry up the embassy stairs with gn. They separate at a landing, one pair heading through a door while the others continue up. File room. The man is still searching, but looks round as he hears a door. He covers his torch as light shines through the grating underneath his feet. He edges back away from the light. Then he hears a pstol being cocked and turns. He picks up some files and hurries away just as a man with a gn rounds a row of shelves. Outside. Gorin walks swiftly out past two policemen on duty at the gate. Gorin: Good night. Policeman: Good night, Mr Gorin. He walks away from the building, carrying a bag. OPENING CREDITS Docks. Passengers disembark from an ocean liner, Foyle among them. Arthur Valentine looks out from the window of a nearby building, then turns to speak to someone else. Valentine: He's here. As Foyle walks along the quayside, an army sergeant, Frank Shaw, spots him. Frank: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Yeah? Frank: I don't suppose you'd recognise me, sir. Foyle: Course I do. Frank: PC Shaw. Foyle: Yes, of course. How are you, Frank? Frank: Bearing up. I'm afraid that I deserted you back in 1940. Foyle: Well, you enlisted. Perfectly good reason, seems to me. You just back? Frank: Yes, sir. I got shipped in from Singapore via Suez. It's hard to believe I'm home. Foyle: They couldn't get you back any sooner? Frank: I was taken prisoner by the Japs in Java. I got malaria, would you believe. How about you, sir? Foyle: Well, visit abroad- They're interrupted by a naval officer on the steps of the building behind them. Officer: Ladies and gentlemen. Please make your way to Immigration. Thank you. They head for the steps. Foyle: You heading back to Hastings? Frank: Er, no, sir. We were bmb out. The family's in London now. It's been six years since I left them. The boy was ten when I left. He'll be a man now. I wonder what the wife 'll make of having me back. Foyle: She'll be very pleased. Frank: You think so? They enter the building. Foyle: Yeah. Frank: You hear stories. It's all so different now. Foyle: Mmm. Valentine comes down a staircase with two other men. Valentine: Mr Foyle? Foyle: Yes. Valentine: I wonder if I could ask you to come with me. Foyle: Forgive me, you are...? Valentine: Oh, I'm, er, Arthur Valentine. I'm with the security service. He discreetly shows Foyle his ID. Foyle: Unfortunate. I'm sorry to hear it. Valentine: Not at all necessary, sir. If you wouldn't mind...? Foyle: Can I ask why? Valentine: Orders from above. Foyle: Well, if you'll excuse me, I've been stuck on a boat for the past five days, so I'm off home now. Valentine: I'm asking nicely. Foyle turns back to Frank. Foyle: Frank, good luck. The force will take you back, I'm sure of it. You were very good, as I remember. He follows Valentine up the stairs. Valentine: How was your trip to America? Foyle: Well, if you know where I've been, you probably know how it went. Valentine: You left behind quite a ruckus. Our ambassador called into the State Department, the FBI in uproar. They'd rather like you back. Foyle: Ah. Nice to be wanted. Valentine: Did you know that Senator Howard Paige is dad? Foyle: I didn't. Valentine: He took his own life. Foyle: That's regrettable. Valentine: Oh, I wonder. You've been hounding him for six months. Foyle: Not the word I'd use. So you're here to arrest me, is that it? Valentine: If I had my way, Mr Foyle, I wouldn't be here at all. This way, please. He leads Foyle into an office where Hilda Pierce sits waiting for them. She stands up as they enter. Pierce: Mr Foyle. Foyle: What a surprise. Pierce: Special Operations Executive's been wound down. I'm with MI5 now. Foyle: Congratulations. Pierce: Very good to see you again. I'll be brief. You must be tired after your long journey. Circumstances have arisen in which we feel we have a need of your help. Foyle: Circumstances being the end of the wr? He sets his suitcase down. Pierce: If only it had ended. We have a new wr. A new enemy. Valentine: The Soviets. Pierce: George Orwell calls it "The Cold wr" and I think that might prove apposite. Foyle: Well, it may well be the case, Miss Pierce. Precisely what it has to do with me I fail to understand. Pierce: Do you have any more luggage? We're taking you to London. Foyle: Well, I'm not going anywhere until I get a reasonable explanation of whatever these circumstances are. Pierce: Well, that will become clear. Foyle: And I'd like to make it perfectly clear that I won't be coming to London. Valentine: Then we'll have no alternative but to put you on a boat back to America. London. Two cars drive up to the MI5 building and park outside. CAPTION: MI5 - Security Service, London Inside. Pierce and Valentine lead Foyle through a typing pool full of secretaries. Pierce hands her walking stick, gloves and bag to one of them, Charlotte Brown. Pierce: Thank you, Charlotte. Valentine turns back and gestures to Foyle. Valentine: This way. William Chambers' office. Chambers turns as Valentine opens the door. Chambers: Mr Foyle. Come in, come in. William Chambers. He shakes Foyle's hand. Foyle: How do you do? Chambers: Take a seat, please. He and Foyle take seats at a conference table while Valentine stands behind. Chambers: Would you like some tea? Foyle: I won't, thank you. Chambers starts pouring tea for himself. Chambers: Well, I'll get straight to the point. We live in a new age, Mr Foyle. New dangers. The atom bmb. Strange to think, isn't it, after all we've been through, a single wapon ten foot long could destroy all of London, much of southern England. Stalin is determined to get his hands on one. And a new wr might suit him rather well. The thing is, he has plenty of sympathisers. Fellow travellers. Spies. Three weeks ago, a Russian cipher clerk named Aleksei Gorin defected from the Soviet Embassy. He brought with him certain documents which suggested the existence of a Soviet spy ring. Pierce enters the room carrying a file. Valentine: The Eternity Ring. Chambers: It was new. It was well placed. And we'd never heard of it. Which was... rather worrying. Foyle: Excuse me. I don't understand what this has to do with me. Chambers: Well, if it exists, it's a serious thrat to national security. Myself, I'm not convinced. I think this man Gorin is trying to sell us a pup. Valentine: Disinformation, designed to make us waste our time and resources. Chambers: Exactly. What we need here are police methods. The sort of forensic skills that would tell us what is true and what is not. Foyle: Doesn't answer the question. There are hundreds of qualified people available to you. I don't understand why I am here. Chambers: Well, it turns out you may have a personal connection. Show him the slides. Pierce switches on a slide projector. Pierce: Professor Michael Fraser. The slide shows a picture of Fraser, seemingly unaware of the photographer. Pierce: Highly distinguished physicist and a very senior member of a directorate called Tube Alloys. It's deliberately nondescript. It's actually responsible for the collation and advancement of atomic research. She switches to the another slide. Pierce: Marc Vlessing, Dutch national living in London. And a known go-between working for the Soviets. According to papers taken by Gorin, he's had three meetings with a scientist whose codename is Jenny. Valentine: Fraser is a philatelist. He collects stamps, and the inverted Jenny is a highly prized specimen. Foyle: I don't know any of these people. Pierce: Fraser's wife Helen assisted him in all his work until she became unwell and he took on a secretary, whose pictures were also brought to us by Gorin. The next picture is of Sam, seemingly about to hand a folder over to Vlessing. Chambers: Her name is Samantha Wainwright. You knew her as Samantha Stewart, I believe. It's only when we looked into her background that we realised her connection with you. She was your driver, I understand. Foyle: So what are you suggesting exactly? Chambers: Well, I'm afraid the evidence is right there in front of you. Foyle studies the slide. Foyle: Where was this taken? Pierce: Outside the Old Vic Theatre. Foyle: When was it taken? Pierce: A month ago. Valentine: Chekhov was playing. He gestures to a partly obscured poster ending with a V visible behind Vlessing in the picture. Valentine: Cherry Orchard. Chambers: Has she ever shown any Communist sympathies? Foyle: Not to me. Chambers: Well, you've been away. Mr and Mrs Wainwright spent three months in a Communist cooperative house near Sevenoaks before they moved closer to London. Plenty of time to change her views. Or she could have been acting out of some misplaced loyalty to her employer. Valentine: Her motivation isn't really the issue, Mr Foyle. If she's passing on atomic secrets, that makes her a traitor. And I don't need to remind a policeman what the sentence for that might be. Chambers: So you can see how it's absolutely in your interests to look into this for us. Find out what's going on. No need for any unpleasantness. Hmm? What do you say? Fraser house. Sam walks through holding some papers as Helen Fraser is heading upstairs. Sam: How are you feeling today, Mrs Fraser? Helen: Much better. Thank you, Sam. Sam: I'm so glad. She walks on to knock on the door of Professor Fraser's office. Inside, Fraser is looking through some papers. Fraser: Come in. Sam enters. Sam: I'm leaving now, Professor Fraser. You said I could leave early today. Fraser: Oh, yes, of course. She hands over the papers she's holding. Sam: Here's your speech for University College. Fraser: Ah, thank you. Sam: And you need to make a decision about the dinner. The Association of Scientific Workers. Fraser: Oh, yes. Er, I think it's a no. I'm too busy at the moment. Sam: I'll write to them tomorrow. Is there anything else? Fraser: Er, no, no. Nothing, thank you. Er, see you tomorrow. She leaves. A street in London. Frank Shaw stands staring at the bmb damage left by the Blitz. He pulls a much-folded photo of his son from his wallet. West Peckham. A bus pulls up at a stop and Sam gets off with a string shopping bag. She stands and takes a few breaths, looking exhausted, before walking on. Housing estate. Sam walks down a busy street still in the process of being repaired, towards a group of prefab buildings. She passes two men working on laying paving. Sam: Hi, Jim. Peter. Workman (offscreen): Think there's enough for another load, Pat? Pat (offscreen): Yeah. It'll take about an hour. Sam lets herself in to the corner house. Inside. Sam enters and sets her shopping bag down on the hall table. Adam (offscreen): Hello. He climbs down from a stepladder in the next room. Adam: What sort of day? Sam goes over to hang her coat in the hall cupboard. Sam: Not too bad. Not too much luck with the shopping, though. No salmon. No toilet paper. No Ovaltine. And no soft fruit. Apparently it's all been used by the WI for jam. Adam inspects the shopping bag. Adam: Powdered eggs? She takes it from him to carry through into the kitchen. Adam: Bread? Sam: It's fourteen ounces to the pound now, which is ridiculous. It's got so much chalk in it I'm not sure whether we should eat it or write with it. Adam: You got more Spam. He follows her through into the kitchen. Sam: I hope you're not going to complain. Adam: No, no. I love Spam. She heads back into the dining room. Sam: That's just as well, 'cause there's not much else around. She sighs as she takes her hat off. Sam: Sometimes I wonder whether we actually did win the wr. Adam: Well, er, I do have some good news. Sam: What? She picks up an apron to put on as Adam comes out of the kitchen. Adam: I've been shortlisted. Sam: What? Adam: For the West Peckham by-election. He picks up a letter from the table. Sam: That's wonderful! When did you hear? Adam: This morning. Arrived just after you left. She takes the letter from him. Sam: Oh. You're gonna be an MP! Adam: Well, I'm going to be one of four potential candidates chosen to fight a safe Tory seat with a very faint possibility of becoming an MP. It's not quite the same. Sam: But it's still marvellous. They kiss, and then Sam heads back towards the kitchen. Sam: Will you get paid? Adam: No. Actually, it's worse than that. I'm afraid you're gonna have to support me. I'll have to, er, cover my own travel and expenses unless I can get funding. That's unlikely. Sam: Well, you know I'm behind you, Adam. I'm completely behind you. And you can pay me back when you win. Adam: If I win. How do you feel about being an MP's wife? Sam: A Labour MP's wife? Adam: Yes. Sam: I'll buy a new hat. William Chambers' office. Foyle is collecting his hat and coat to leave. Valentine (offscreen): It can't be discounted. Foyle: A woman giving an envelope to a man is not necessarily committing a crime. Valentine: Depends if she knows what's inside. Foyle: Well, of course. He picks up his suitcase and goes to leave. Valentine: May I give you some advice, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Is that optional? Valentine: I know Sir William's very keen to have you in our outfit. Everything's changed since the wr. More women. More amateurs. It seems like any Johnny-come-lately is welcome now. But actually very few people understand what we do and how we do it. And they find it harder to fit in than they might think. Foyle: So the advice would be...? Valentine: Best not to get out of your depth. Enjoy your retirement. From what I've heard, you've deserved it. Foyle: Wise words. He tips his hat. Foyle: Thank you. He leaves. MI5 building. Gorin is led through the building by two men. Foyle (voiceover): Your name is Aleksei Gorin. You worked at the Soviet Embassy for two years before you defected. You were born in Smolensk. Office. Foyle is questioning Gorin at the desk while Valentine paces in the background. Foyle: Studied at the Moscow Engineering Academy. Gorin: Yes, sir. It is there I was recruited. He says something in Russian. Gorin: Red Army Intelligence. Foyle: And you speak English very well. Gorin: It was part of my job. Foyle: What was your job? Gorin: I was cipher clerk. Foyle: And what were your duties here in London? Gorin: There are, er, documents, sensitive documents, sent between the embassy and Moscow. And my work is, er, code and decode. You understand? Foyle: The Eternity Ring. Does that mean anything? Gorin: I do not know of this, no. Foyle: But you're aware of Soviet intelligence rings operating in Britain? Gorin: Of course. Foyle: Why have you chosen to defect? Gorin: I became unhappy with the work. British are my friends, allies. Together we fight against Fascism in the wr and now I wish to live my life in freedom and democracy. Foyle picks up a set of keys from the desk. Foyle: Er, these are items, er, taken from you when you were arrested. Correct? Gorin: They are for the house where I live in Kensington. My room. Valentine: We have checked them. Foyle looks through a stack of money and then picks up a pair of photographs. He shows one of a young woman to Gorin. Foyle: Who is this? Gorin: Yelena. We were to be married. She is in Smolensk. Foyle: And it doesn't trouble you that you would never see her again? Gorin: I wish to live in England. Foyle nods. Later. Valentine opens the door to let Gorin out. The two agents who brought him in are waiting outside. Valentine: Back to the safe house. He closes the door again. Valentine: Well? Foyle: Well, I'd say the girl is real enough. She might even be called Yelena, but, er, I bet she doesn't live in Smolensk. Valentine: How can you possibly know? Foyle: She's wearing a sweetheart pin, American Red Cross. She'd be local. He'd have met her here. Valentine picks up the photo to look at it. Valentine: And she's the reason he's defecting? Foyle: I'd say so. Valentine: So what you're saying is the papers he stole are genuine. Foyle: Well, he could well be in spite of the fib. He probably genuinely stole them but I can't vouch for the papers. How could I? Valentine: Your ex-assistant isn't out of the woods yet. He opens the door for Foyle and they leave together. Bankes Close. Frank Shaw stands smoking on the doorstep of his family's terraced house, then steps back in and closes the door. Dining room. Frank's wife Ruth is making a cup of tea for her elderly mother, sitting in the corner. Ruth: Put the kettle on again, will you, Frank? She gives the tea to her mother. Ruth: Here you go, girl. She picks up the teapot to head into the kitchen, where Frank is striking a match to light the stove. Ruth: Ta, Frank. I have to pinch myself every time I see you. I still can't believe you're here. He cups her cheek. Frank: Do you want to get rid of me? Ruth: No. No. You're home now. That's where you're going to stay. Frank: This isn't my home. Ruth: Well, it's gonna have to make do until we can find something else. And that might take a while. Frank: Where's John? Is he still in bed? Ruth: Yeah. He works late. She heads back through into the dining room, and Frank follows. Frank: What sort of a job keeps a boy out until three o'clock in the morning? Ruth: I told you, he serves drinks. He's behind a bar. Frank: He's too young to be serving drinks. What sort of future's that? Ruth: He enjoys it. Frank: You should never have let him leave school. Ruth: You think I could have stopped him? It's not been easy. You've been away, Frank. Frank: I know. But I'm back now. Ruth: Anyway, it's not John you need to worry about. What are you going to do? Frank: Oh, I'll sort myself out. Ruth: You going back in the police? A door slams upstairs. Frank: Yeah, I suppose so. It's all I know. Their teenage son John comes down the stairs, passing Frank to speak to his mother. John: Morning. What's for breakfast? Frank: Breakfast? You mean dinner. And your mother's not here to wait on you hand and foot. Ruth: I've got some bacon. John: No. Forget it. I'll go out. He heads for the door. Frank: John. John: Not now, Dad. All right? Frank: Don't talk to me like that. John: How do you want me to talk to you? I haven't seen you for six years. I don't even know who you are. He leaves, slamming the front door. Outside the Old Vic theatre. Foyle approaches the building, comparing the view to the photograph of Sam and Vlessing. He takes a look at the poster on the wall, in the same position as the one in the photo but now advertising a different play. Then he turns and walks away, rounding a corner. Across the square, Sam and Fraser are walking along together. Max Hoffman catches up to them, carrying a file folder. Hoffman: Michael. Fraser: Max. Have you read it? Sam stands off to the side, waiting and looking around, as the two of them talk. Hoffman: Yes. Your analysis of the Los Alamos incident is- it's masterly. Foyle stands at the other side of the square, watching them. Fraser (offscreen): It should never have happened. Hoffman (offscreen): Hard radiation. Air ionisation. Fraser (offscreen): It could have been much, much worse. Sam, still looking around, spots Foyle. Sam: Professor Fraser, do you mind if I take lunch early today? Fraser: No, no, of course not. She walks off across the square, and Fraser and Hoffman walk on together. Fraser: Er, you didn't show this to anyone, I hope? Hoffman: No, of course not. I wouldn't dream of doing so. Sam and Foyle walk towards each other. Sam: Mr Foyle. What are you doing here? Foyle: I've come to see you. Sam: How did you know I was here? Foyle: Your husband. Sam: Oh. How was America? It seems an age since you went away. So much has happened. Foyle: Well, you can tell me all about it. Sam: Yes. Refectory. Sam and Foyle are at a table together. Foyle: So you're working for a physicist? Sam: Yes, sir. After we lost the hotel, we shared a place in Sevenoaks. Then we moved to London. Adam's in politics. Did he tell you he's going to be an MP? Foyle: No, he didn't. Sam: Well, he's hoping to be selected anyway. But I had to get a job, you see. Professor Fraser's a brilliant man. He more or less invented the electric shells that we used against the kamikaze pilots. Something to do with reflecting waves or something. They say he saved hundreds of lives. Foyle: Interesting work, though? Sam: I don't understand all of it. But I know it's important work. I'd do anything for him. His wife used to help him but she's been taken ill. I work at the house sometimes too, so I see quite a bit of her too. Foyle: And London? How d'you get on with London? Sam: Truth is, we can't afford to go out much. Foyle: Well, I understand. Sam: We've been to some theatre. Dance halls. Foyle: Bit of a change from Sevenoaks, then. Sam: Sevenoaks was as dull as dishwater. She prods at her food unenthusiastically. Foyle: Not hungry? Sam sighs. Sam: Sorry. No. I wouldn't mind some tea, though. As she looks around for a member of staff, Professor Fraser arrives. Fraser: Ah, there you are, Mrs Wainwright. He approaches their table. Sam: Professor Fraser, may I introduce you to my former employer? Mr Foyle. Fraser: Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle. I've heard a lot about you. Pleased to meet you. They shake hands. Foyle: How do you do? Fraser: I understood you were in America. Foyle: Well, just back. Fraser: I spent a good deal of time there myself last year. Er, so what brings you to London? Foyle: Well, erm, friends. Er, I'm just passing through. Fraser: You managed to find yourself somewhere to stay? Hotels are bursting at the seams. Foyle: I got a room. Fraser: Well, it's very nice to have met you at last. Er, Mrs Wainwright, I'm afraid that there are some pages that need to be retyped. Sam: Oh. Right away, Professor Fraser. I'm so sorry. Sorry. She goes to get up, but he urges her back down. Fraser: No. No, no, no. You finish your lunch. This can wait. He turns to Foyle. Fraser: Look here, you can't survive on refectory food. Would you care to come to dinner tonight? Er, some friends from America have sent me a ham, would you believe? Foyle: Well, that's very kind of you. Fraser: Well, not at all. No. Seven o'clock, shall we say? Foyle: Thank you. Good man. He leaves. MI5 building, William Chambers' office. A woman sets a tea tray on the table between Pierce and Chambers. Pierce: Thank you, Margaret. Chambers: So, Foyle thinks Gorin is genuine. Pierce: Then in that case he almost certainly is. Chambers: Well, if you have such a high opinion of him, why were you so opposed to my bringing him in? Pierce: Because of his association with Fraser's secretary. Samantha Wainwright. Chambers: If Gorin is genuine, then so is the Eternity Ring. Pierce: So it would appear. Chambers: That's inconceivable. No spy ring of that magnitude could exist without my knowing something about it. Who formed it? Who runs it? Where it began. What's it doing? Well, let's hope Mr Foyle does live up to my expectations. This has to stop. A London street, evening. A taxi pulls up and Hoffman gets out and pays the driver. Hoffman: Keep the change. Driver: Oh, thanks, guv. He drives away. Hoffman walks on around a corner past a row of doors and knocks on one. A young man, Tomasz Debski, opens it. Hoffman: Tomasz. Tomasz: You're late. I thought you weren't going to come. Hoffman: You don't need to worry. I said I'd be here, I'm here. Tomasz: Do you want to come in? Hoffman: No. Here you are. He hands over an envelope. Tomasz: Thank you. They exchange a few words in Polish, then Hoffman leaves. Tomasz looks around before heading back inside. Fraser house. Foyle is looking at Fraser's stamp collection in the study when Fraser comes up behind him. Fraser: Do you collect stamps, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Er, well, once upon a time, yes. These are quite rare, aren't they? Fraser: Yes, fairly. Foyle picks up a magnifying glass to look at one. Foyle: Well, this one certainly is. The image, it's been printed upside down. Fraser: Ah, that's the pride of my collection. It's very valuable. Foyle: And the plane that's, er, an American Curtiss? Fraser: Oh, well spotted, yes. Curtiss JN-4. Foyle: Oh, because the stamp is... Fraser: It's the inverted Jenny. Foyle: Right. The maid, Phyllis, appears in the doorway through to the dining. Phyllis: Sir. Fraser: Oh, would you like to come through? Foyle: Yes, thank you. They head through to the dining room as Helen and Max Hoffman enter by another door. Helen: Phyllis, cocktails. Fraser: You haven't met my wife. Helen. Helen: It's a great pleasure to meet you, Mr Foyle. They shake hands. Foyle: Thank you for the invitation, Mrs Fraser. Helen: Oh, Helen, please. Fraser: And this is Max Hoffman, a colleague of mine. We met in New Mexico a year ago. They shake hands. Foyle: How do you do? Fraser: It was a day I'll never forget. Hoffman: Don't let Michael fool you into thinking that was anything to do with me. It was a memorable day for both of us. Fraser: The day the world changed. When, when everything changed. Helen: Michael. Fraser: Yes, yes, I know. Street, night. Tomasz is returning to his house. He sees two uniformed policemen talking to a woman in the doorway and stops to watch them warily. They turn to look in his direction and he flattens himself against the side of the car. Fraser house. The group have finished their meal but are still sitting around the table. Hoffman: I came to this country in '33 when htler became Chancellor. Of course, I was interned. Fraser: Well, quite right too. He was a bloody Communist. Helen: Michael! Fraser: Well, it's true. Hoffman: Back then in Germany you were either a Communist or nzi. There was no third alternative. Fraser: Ah, but you brought your politics with you, didn't you, Max? Hoffman: I kept my beliefs. Foyle: Still? Hoffman: Yes, Mr Foyle. I think the people in this country have forgotten that before the Americans arrived, the British had only one true ally. Fraser: Stalin. Hoffman: Correct. Fraser: And now the man's a monster, mrder his own people. Hoffman: But the ideal is still there. To build a new world. Fraser: Only by slaughtering the old one. Hoffman scoffs. Helen: How long do you plan to stay in London, Mr Foyle? Foyle: Well, er, just a few days. Fraser: Why exactly are you here? Look, if it's to check up on Sam, let me assure you, she's being well looked-after. Helen: She's a terrific girl, hard-working. We're glad we found her. Wainwright house. Adam brings two cups of tea over to Sam where she's sitting by the fre. Adam: So, you saw Mr Foyle. Sam: Yes. He sits down next to her. Adam: You don't think it's a bit strange, his turning up like that? Sam: What do you mean? Adam: Well, he's only just got back from America and now he's having dinner with your boss. Sam: I don't think there's anything strange in that. Adam: By the way, did you ask for time off? Sam: When? Adam: Next Tuesday. The selection. Sam: Oh, do I have to come? Adam: Absolutely. They like to meet the wives. Sam sighs. Sam: "The wives." Is that how you see me, as some, some sort of attachment? Adam: Of course not. Sam: And what if I couldn't live up to your expectations? Adam: Sam, what are you talking about? Sam: Well, I, I didn't vote Labour the last time. I'm not sure if I ever would. Adam: I'm sure they won't ask. But it might be better not to mention it. She laughs a little and puts her arm around his shoulders. Shaw house. Frank is polishing his boots in the hallway as John comes down the stairs, whistling, and heads through to the dining room. John: Good night, Gran. Frank: You off, then? John: Yeah. Frank: So where is it, this place that you work? John: Well, it's a bar. That's all. Frank: Is that the best you can do for yourself? Thought you might follow me into the police. John: You're not in the police. Frank: I will be. John goes to leave. Frank: John! It's not my fault I went away. I didn't want to leave you and your mum. John: I know, Dad. I'm glad you're back. But I learned to look after myself while you were away and that's how it is now. All right? He leaves. Alleyway, night. Valentine is walking along. He makes a quick turn to make sure he's not being followed. Then, still looking around, he approaches a door. There's a faint sound of singing and laughter within. He knocks, and someone unseen opens the door. Man (offscreen): Yes, dear? Valentine: I'm Philip Blake. Man (offscreen): Come in, sweetie. He goes inside and the door closes behind him. Fraser house. Phyllis comes up the stairs to the scullery where Helen is putting things away. Helen: Is that everything? Phyllis: Nearly, ma'am. As she leaves the room, Foyle arrives, bringing some of the tea set with him. Helen: Oh, thank you, Mr Foyle. You shouldn't have bothered. Phyllis can see to that. Foyle: Not at all, it's a pleasure. Thank you for dinner. Helen: I'm pleased to have met you. We feel we've got to know Sam so well over these past six months. She suddenly bows her head as if feeling faint. Foyle: You all right? Helen: Yes. Could you pour me some water? He pours a glass out from a jug and hands it to her. Foyle: Here we are. Helen: Thank you. She drinks some of the water. Foyle: Any better? Helen: Yes. I'm sure Sam will have told you I've not been well recently. That's why we had to hire her. Please don't mention this to Michael. I don't like him to be worried. Foyle: Well, of course. Phyllis returns to the room. Helen: You can get off home, Phyllis. Oh, and don't forget the professor's tea in the morning. She hands Phyllis a thermos. Phyllis: I won't, ma'am. She leaves again. Helen: He's driving up to Oxford. Two hours each way. He won't manage without his tea. Foyle: I should be going. Outside. Foyle and Hoffman are both leaving the house. Hoffman: Thank you. Good night. The door closes behind them, and the two of them walk along in the same direction. Hoffman: They are a remarkable couple, don't you think? Foyle: Mmm. Hoffman: She was herself a scientist of some repute. She wrote a paper on the implosion lens. Fermi referenced it when he spoke at the APS. Foyle: What exactly are you and the professor working on at the moment? Hoffman: Oh, we are involved in various projects. Ah. He stops and pats his pockets. Hoffman: I've left my cigarette case back at the house. Er, can you find your way alone? Foyle: Of course. Hoffman: Then I'll say good night. They shake hands. Foyle: Good night. Foyle walks on around the corner, while Hoffman heads back towards the house. He checks to make sure Foyle is gone, then heads across the street, where Tomasz is waiting. Hoffman: What is it? Tomasz: I'm sorry, I had to see you. Hoffman: What's happened? Tomasz: The police were at my house this evening. They were asking questions. Hoffman: About you? About me? Tomasz: I don't know. I saw them. I didn't go in. Hoffman: The police... He looks off in the direction Foyle went, then ushers Tomasz the other way. Hoffman: Let's go back. Tomasz: Where? Hoffman: I, I'll come with you. Er, I'll check it's all right. If not... well, we'll see. Still back at the corner, Foyle watches them go. Then he turns and walks on. A country road, daylight. Fraser and Hoffman stand by a parked car at the side of the road, drinking tea from Fraser's thermos. Hoffman: What did you make of our guest last night? Fraser: Foyle? Why, he seemed pleasant enough. Hoffman: I thought so, too. But then something rather strange happened. I had a visit from the police. Well, a friend of mine did. They were asking questions. Fraser: About you? Hoffman: I don't know. It may have just been a coincidence. But I decided to make a few enquiries and it seems that Mr Foyle, far from being retired, has links with the security service. Fraser: What? Hoffman: MI5. Fraser: How do you know? Hoffman: I have a contact. I asked. Fraser: Mrs Wainwright introduced him to me. Hoffman: Perhaps unwittingly. Fraser: I mean, why would they send him? Why would he have any interest in me? Hoffman: I'm sorry, but I thought you should know. Fraser: Well, thank you. You were right. He tips out the last of the tea from the thermos onto the ground, then they get back into the car and drive away. Shaw house. Ruth carries a plate out to her mum at the breakfast table. Ruth: Here you go, Mum. Bacon and toast. You enjoy that. Frank is sitting at the table in his army uniform, reading a newspaper. Ruth: You look very smart, Frank. Frank: Interview's at ten. Ruth: I'm sure they'll snap you up. Frank: That's another thing. Once I get a job, you won't need to work any more. Ruth: I quite like working. I've got used to it. Frank: What? Nine hours a day in a shop? Ruth: It's seven hours and a half hour for lunch. And it's a department store. Not the same thing at all. She kisses her mother. Ruth: Anyway, not gonna turn our noses up at four pounds a week. Frank: We won't need it. Ruth: Well, we'll talk about it once you're settled. Frank: Ruthie. He gets up. Frank: I just want things to be the way they were. Ruth: I'm gonna be late. I've made you some lunch. Try not to disturb John. She kisses him on the cheek Ruth: And good luck. I hope it goes well. She hurries out of the door. Frank turns back to her mother at the table. Frank: You enjoying that? Wainwright house. Adam is going through books and leaflets in the sitting room. Sam enters the room. Sam: I'll see you later, then? Three o'clock. Adam: West Peckham Town Hall. You got the address? Sam: Yes. Don't worry. I'll be there. What are you gonna do till then? Adam: Swotting up. Sharpe. Collingwood. Beatrice Webb. Our last manifesto. And the White Paper on the National Health Service. Sam: I prefer Agatha Christie. Adam: Well, just don't tell them that. Sam: Don't worry. "Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer, we'll keep the red flag flying here." She pats him on the back, and they kiss. Adam: I do love you, you know. Sam: And I love you. She walks off, humming The Red Flag. Adam: Don't be late. Arnwell. Fraser and Hoffman's car drives towards a large research facility. CAPTION: Arnwell Atomic Research Facility The car stops at a barrier and a security guard comes out with a clipboard. Guard: May I have your passes, please? They both show him their passes. Guard: Thank you, sir. They drive on into the facility, and get out of the car. They grab their bags and Fraser his thermos from the back and then walk towards the building together. Fraser: So, I have that meeting later in Oxford, Max. Are you all right to make your own way home? Hoffman: Sure, Michael. I'll take the train. Fraser: Good man. They pass two men in white coats. Fraser: Afternoon, boys. Scientist: Professor. Police station. Frank Shaw walks in and up to the duty officer at the front desk. Duty Officer: Yes? Frank: Name's Shaw. I have a meeting with Chief Superintendent Cranborne. The officer looks at his paperwork. Duty Officer: Shaw, did you say? Your name's not on the list. Frank: Frank Shaw? Interview's at ten. Duty Officer: Is this about the canteen? Frank: No, I'm a police constable, like you. Duty Officer: All right. Take a seat. I'll let him know you're here. An old man walks up to the desk as Frank goes over to sit down Duty Officer: Just one moment, sir. Old Man: Excuse me, is Sergeant Harrington here? Duty Officer (offscreen): Sir? There's a Frank Shaw here to see you. Yes, sir. Of course. William Chamber's office. Chambers and Pierce stand observing while Valentine shows Foyle a set of documents laid out on the table. Valentine: All these documents are marked "vechnost". That's Russian for "eternity". Russian intelligence use only codenames for their agents, even in internal communications. These are translations. So here we have "Trinity", "Juniper", and... our friend Jenny, promising to provide information on the implosion lens, which happens to be Helen Fraser's speciality. Chambers: Yes, that may be the case, but I don't think Fraser's a part of it. I met him. He's not a Communist. He's a scientist. He's never shown any really interest in politics. What do you think? Foyle: Well, I think, erm, a handful of codenames in a dozen or so letters, er, isn't a great deal to go on. Valentine: Plus meeting places, letterboxes, passwords. Foyle: All of which could easily have been put into place to waste your time. Chambers: Exactly. Foyle picks up the photo of Sam with Vlessing. Foyle: And the only piece of concrete evidence that you got is this photograph. I mean, I can speak to her. You should speak to him. I'm surprised you haven't done so already. Pierce: No. If we question Vlessing, it will only let the Russians know how little we know. Foyle: And if you don't, you'll know nothing more. Valentine: It's not as if he's committed a crime, Mr Foyle. This isn't about bodies in the library or stolen petrol coupons or whatever else you got up to in Hastings. It's called tradecraft. It's a different world. Foyle: And I'd agree. And it's a world you've chosen to bring me into because you claim to value my opinion. My opinion is the only way forward is to speak to Vlessing. Of course, it's your prerogative to ignore it. Chambers: Do it. Valentine: Actually, er, we've lost Vlessing. We do know that he checked into the Randolph Hotel in Oxford on Friday night, but we don't know where he is now. Chambers: Then find him. Valentine: We'll look in his flat in Kennington. Foyle: Without a warrant? Valentine: We don't need a warrant. Foyle: Ah. No idea the service was above the law. Pierce: Sir William... arresting this man is... Chambers: Arrest, interrogation, investigation. Police methods, Miss Pierce. Exactly what we need. He leaves. Vlessing's flat, Kennington. Vlessing is working on building a model aeroplane when the phone rings. He goes over to pick it up. Woman (over phone): Vlessing? Vlessing: Yes? Woman (over phone): You wish to live, leave now. Vlessing: Who is this? Woman (over phone): Leave now. The woman hangs up. Vlessing sets the phone down. He hears a car engine outside and looks out of the window. Two cars pull up in front of the building. He grabs his keys and heads out, locking the flat behind him and running down the stairs. Outside. Valentine and Foyle get out of their car. Valentine: This is the place. Inside. Vlessing reaches the bottom of the stairs. Valentine (offscreen): Come on, you two. Vlessing runs for a back exit. Outside. Two more agents have got out of the other car. Valentine: Shall we? Behind him, Vlessing walks out from around the side of the building. One of the agents points at him. Agent: Sir. Valentine: Vlessing? Vlessing looks back at him, then starts to run. Valentine: That's him. Get after him! The two agents run after Vlessing, while Valentine and Foyle head back to their car. Valentine: We can cut him off in the car. Yard. Vlessing runs through a set of gates, the two agents in hot pursuit. Valentine drives past the gates and on along the street. Vlessing reaches at set of steps at the other side of the yard, and one of the agents manages to grab him. Vlessing shoves him away, then grabs a dustbin from the top of the steps and throws it at the two men chasing him. As he reaches another set of gates back onto the street, Valentine pulls up in the car to block the way. Vlessing stops for a moment, but seeing the two men still chasing, runs out into the road behind the car. Man (offscreen): Oi, watch out! A van hits Vlessing just as Foyle rounds the car and the two agents catch up. Valentine gets out of the car as well, and they walk towards Vlessing where he lies in the street. Foyle stops along the way to pick up Vlessing's dropped keys. The side of Vlessing's face is bloody. One of the agents kneels down to take his pulse. Agent: He's still breathing. Vlessing blinks weakly. Valentine: Interview postponed. He turns to walk back to the car. Police station front desk. The duty officer is on the phone. Duty Officer: All right. He sets the phone down. In the waiting area, Frank is sitting smoking and reading a newspaper. The desk phone rings. Duty Officer (offscreen): Yes. Shaw? Super will see you now. He gestures to another police officer, Gerry, behind him. Duty Officer: Would you, er...? The officer escorts Frank up the stairs and into Detective Superintendent Cranborne's office. Gerry: Sir. Cranborne is at his desk. He looks at a piece of paper. Cranborne: Shaw? Is that right? Sit down, sit down. Thank you, Gerry. Gerry leaves, closing the door behind him. Frank takes a seat opposite Cranborne. Cranborne: So, what's this all about? Frank: I wrote to you, sir, about returning to the force. Cranborne: You a constable? Frank: Yes, sir. Cranborne: With the Met? Frank: No, sir. I served in Hastings under Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle. Cranborne: Can't say I've ever heard of him. You're still in uniform, I see. Frank: Just coming up for demob, sir. Cranborne: Took your time. A sergeant. Frank: Yes, sir. Cranborne: And what were you in Hastings? A constable? That'll be a bit of a step down. Frank: I don't see it that way. Cranborne: I'm fed up to the take with ex-majors and captains, and all these gentleman types from the Army, expecting us to defer to them just because they waltzed off and left behind. Nobody gave a thought for the home front. That's the trouble. Afraid I can't help you, Smith. You're too late. Frank: It's Shaw, sir. Cranborne: We replaced our wr reserves last year and although we were short staffed or for a while, we are now pretty much up to strength. Also, to be frank, I'm not sure your experience as a constable in Hastings would necessarily qualify you for a position with us here. Why don't you go back there? Frank: We were bmb out. Cranborne: You and many others. I'm sorry I can't help you. I wish you a good day. He stands up and walks away. Shaw: But... is that it? Cranborne: I'm sorry? Shaw: I waited two hours. Cranborne: I think you should remember who you're talking to. I'm busy. We're all busy. You should be grateful you were seen at all. Shaw: I am, sir. Very grateful. He walks out. Cranborne: Good! Fraser house. Sam stands in front of Fraser and Helen in the sitting room. Fraser: I'm sorry, Mrs Wainwright, but given the circumstances and the nature of my work, I feel I have no choice. Sam: But it's ridiculous. Mr Foyle's got nothing to do with the secret service. And, anyway, even if he were investigating you, I- I'm sure he would have said something to me. Fraser: But that's exactly the point. We can't be sure that he didn't. Helen: We'll give you good references. Fraser: And two weeks' salary. Helen: It's probably for the best. Sam nods and lets out a disbelieving huff. Hospital. Valentine is speaking with one of the doctors. Valentine: I see. Thank you, Doctor. Vlessing lies unconscious in a private room, a bandage around his jaw. Pierce arrives and takes a look at him. Pierce: What happened? Valentine: Ah, he, er, tried to leg it, got ht by a car. Pierce: Sir William won't be pleased. Can he talk? Valentine: He's still unconscious. She sighs. Pierce: Will he live? Valentine: Apparently. Pierce: Pity. She leaves, and after a moment Valentine follows her out. Hotel lobby. Sam approaches the receptionist. Sam: Excuse me. Receptionist: Yes? Sam: Do you have a Mr Foyle staying here? Receptionist: Let me just check for you. Foyle (offscreen): They do. He walks through a set of doors behind Sam. Foyle: What are you doing here? Sam: Hello, sir. I've just been told that you're investigating Professor Fraser... and that you've used me to get to him, as a result of which, I've lost my job and I wanted to know if it was true. Hotel lounge. Sam is looking at the photo of her and Vlessing. Sam: Never met him. Never seen him before in my life. Vlessing? Foyle: Marc Vlessing. Sam: Never heard of him. And he works for the Russians? Foyle: Apparently. Sam: I don't understand. Why didn't you come straight out with it and show me this, if you suspected me? Foyle: I didn't... suspect you. But it's clear, certainly to me, from the moment I saw you, that there's something wrong. You're not yourself. There's something you're hiding. I assumed it was related and thought it in your best interests to deal with the situation carefully as possible. I can see I'm wrong... Sam sniffs, starting to get upset. Foyle: And I'm sorry. She holds up a hand and shakes her head. Sam: Don't be sorry. Foyle: What is it? Sam: Er, it's rather a personal thing, sir, and I'd really rather not. Foyle: Can I help? Sam: Nobody can help. She sniffs and wipes away a tear. Sam: Um, I've had some... difficulty. Something has happened that makes me believe that starting a family might not be as straightforward as I had previously imagined. Foyle: What does Adam say? Sam: I haven't told him yet. I didn't want to, not when he's so... um... Foyle: Mmm. Sam: So, now you know. I'm not a spy. I'm not working for anyone. And as for this, it's obviously a fake. But I did go to the Old Vic, two weeks ago. Shakespeare. Adam and I saw one of the Henrys. But I wasn't carrying an envelope, and I didn't meet anyone. And anyway, it's ridiculous to think that Professor Fraser is passing our secrets to the Russians. He hates them. Foyle: I know. Sam: I cannot believe that you used me to get to him and lost me my job. Foyle: You must realise that none of this was intended. The only reason I became involved is because it seemed you were in trouble and I though I can help. I still believe that's the case, because although you're completely innocent and this photography has been faked, there's a reason it's been faked and a reason you've been implicated, and it'd be worth finding out why. Don't you think? Sam: Yes, I do. Where do we start? Foyle: Well... I think it be less than sensible for you to be any more involved than you are already. Sam: Well, I think it's less than fair that somebody should put me in a photograph and use me for whatever purpose without my knowledge and consent. And I understand you had the best intentions, but if you'd been straight with me from the start, I might still be employed. So, the least you can do, sir, is to allow me to do something about the situation. Foyle: Fair enough. Sam: So. When do we start? Arnwell Atomic Research Facility. An alarm sounds. A scientist waves for two of the security guards to follow him. Man (offscreen): Secure the gate! They met another pair of scientists. Scientist: What? What's going on? MI5 building. A woman dashes up the stairs carrying a piece of paper. William Chambers' office. There's a knock on the door. Chambers and Pierce are both at the desk, and look up as Valentine enters with the piece of paper. Chambers: What is it? Valentine: Unbelievable. This is from Arnwell. There's been a security breach. Chambers: Files? Valentine: Oh, worse than that. Much worse. One of the cabinets in Sector 5. Pierce: Sector 5? Valentine: 190 micrograms of Uranium-233 have been taken. Chambers: What? Pierce stands up. Valentine: Theft was discovered an hour ago. He and Pierce head out together. Valentine: Vlessing? Behind them, Chambers picks up the phone. Kennington. Sam and Foyle get out of the car in front of Vlessing's block of flats. Sam: How are we gonna get in there? Foyle: With a key. He takes Vlessing's keys out of his pocket. Sam: How'd you get that? Foyle: I liberated it. Sam: Is this quite legal? Foyle goes to unlock the door. Foyle: Well, it's not at all legal. But the security service doesn't seen have much regard for the law. He opens the door and they head inside. Sam: You're not really gonna work for them, are you, sir? Foyle: Not if I can help it. They head for the stairs. A woman is just on her way down as they come up. Sam: Which number is it? Foyle: They didn't tell me. Sam: Oh. That's tricky. She turns as the woman passes them. Sam: Excuse me. We're looking for a Mr Marc Vlessing. Woman: I don't know him, dear. Sam: Erm, he, he's Dutch. Sort of sandy-haired. Travels quite a bit. Woman: Oh. That'll be him on the second floor. Flat 6. He's foreign. Sam: Thank you. Woman: Where are you from? Sam: The Department of Housing. Woman: Jumped the queue, did he? You should move him on. We don't want foreigners here. Foyle: You're a natural. Sam laughs. Vlessing's flat. The two of them walk in and look around. Sam: What are we looking for, sir? Foyle: Er, not sure till we find it. Sam looks at the model plane on the desk. Sam: Ah. He's making a Sopwith Camel. Foyle: Anything connecting him to your ex-employer or to Hoffman would be useful. Sam: You know that Mr Hoffman lost most of his family during the wr. The nzi klled them all. Foyle: I do. Sam: I never saw Vlessing with either of them. At least not when I was there. She opens a drawer and takes out two passports. Sam: He's got two passports. Dutch... and German. Foyle opens another drawer, which contains Communist leaflets. As they continue searching, Foyle notices a thermos on a shelf. Sam (offscreen): Sir? The door of the flat opens just as she turns to show him a gn from one of the drawers. Rifleman (offscreen): Put the gn down! A pair of soldiers in gasmasks stand in the doorway, one of them holding a rfle. Sam hastily puts the gn down. Rifleman: Don't move! Another soldier enters with a cracking Geiger counter, and sweeps it over first Sam, then Foyle. Soldier: They're both positive. The whole room's hot. Rifleman: Get them both out of here, pronto. MI5 building, reception area. The receptionist puts the phone down just as someone comes over to hand her a file. Receptionist: Thanks. She speaks into the intercom. Receptionist: Colin's on line two for you, sir. Valentine and Pierce walk through together from the door behind the receptionist. Valentine: They've both been exposed. Pierce: Contaminated. Are they gonna be all right? Valentine: I don't know! This whole thing's getting out of hand. I did warn you. It's out of control. Pierce sighs in disgust as they head out of the building. West Peckham Town Hall. Adam stands on the steps in front of the building, looking at his watch. He looks around. Military base. A group of soldiers march through. Sergeant: Left, left! Left, right, left! Left! Inside. A soldier escorts Sam through to a changing area with lockers. Sam: You can't do this. I have to leave! Soldier: You need to get rid of these clothes and wash thoroughly. There's a shower cubicle just down the corridor. Use plenty of hot water and carbolic. Sam: I don't think you understand. I have to be somewhere at three o'clock. I promised. Soldier: I don't think you understand, miss. You've been exposed to radiation. Your health is at risk. You're not leaving here until you do as I say. Then you have to be seen by the doctor. Clothes there. He points off to the right of the door as he leaves, closing it behind him. As he stands in front of the door to guard it, another soldier escorts Pierce and Valentine through into the duty office opposite. Town hall. Adam gives up waiting and heads into the building. An official notes him and hurries over. Official: Er, yes? Adam: I'm Adam Wainwright. Official: Oh, right, er, comrade. They shake hands. Official: Through here. Duty office. Foyle, now dressed in khaki, stands speaking with Valentine while Pierce sits in the corner reading through a file. Valentine: Right. What were you doing in Vlessing's place? And what was Mrs Wainwright doing with you? Foyle: Firstly, you've no reason to keep her here, so I'd be grateful if you'd arrange to get her to West Peckham Town Hall as quickly as possible. Valentine: I don't thinking you're in any position to be making demands. Foyle: It's not a demand, it's a request for help and understanding. Her husband is facing selection as an MP. She needs to be there. Pierce stands up. Pierce: She can go. She hands a sheet of paper to Valentine. Pierce: Make sure she's been cleared. Foyle: Cleared by whom? Pierce: The doctor. You've both had a dose of radiation. Low level and brief, but best to be sure. Town Hall. People are talking and drinking tea. Councillor Glenvil Harris is speaking with one of the prospective candidates, Philip Conway, while an older woman, Maureen Greenwood, listens in. Glenvil: No. No, no, listen. It isn't a question of whether we want it. We're all agreed on that. The question is whether we can afford it. Conway: Absolutely. Glenvil: Well, can we? Conway: I... no, I don't suppose we can. His wife Jane approaches him. Jane: Philip? Adam enters the room, hanging up his hat. Glenvil: Mr Wainwright! Councillor Harris. We met, remember? They shake hands. Adam: Yes. How do you do? Glenvil: Yes, good. He gestures to Conway. Glenvil: Mr Conway here is up against you. Adam and Conway shake hands. Glenvil: He's one of our official explainers. Not that he's been explaining a lot to me. Woman: We were talking about the new pension levels. Glenvil: What do you think? Can we afford to pay them? Adam: I don't think we can afford not to. Conway: Maybe we could have a gradual rise over a period of twenty years. It's what Mr Griffiths proposed. Adam: But, er, this is the generation that lost their childhood to the first wr. They've lived through the Depression. Now they've had to endure the misery of the second wr. Don't we owe them something now? Glenvil: Well said. You here alone? Jane: You're not married, Mr Wainwright? Adam: Er, my wife's on her way. She's... late. Military base. A soldier opens the door of a car for Sam, also now in khaki overalls, with her hair untidily tied back. Valentine follows them out to the car. Soldier: In you get, miss. We'll have you there in a couple of shakes. Foyle watches them through the office window, then turns to Pierce. Foyle: How did you find us? Pierce: We had no idea you were there. We had an alert from the atomic research station at Arnwell. A quantity of uranium has been taken. Foyle: Vlessing was in Oxford. Pierce: Yes, I should have picked up on that. Arnwell's near Oxford. Foyle watches her expectantly. Pierce: Professor Fraser was at Arnwell, along with his colleague Max Hoffman. Foyle: Well, given that nothing, where you're concerned, is ever what it seems... Pierce: I don't know what you mean. Foyle: Well, you know as well as I do that Fraser detests Communism, Stalin and everything they stand for. By the same token, Mrs Wainwright was nowhere near the theatre at the time you stated. Neither has she met Vlessing. The photograph is a fake. I know it, you know it. So, at some point, I'd be grateful if you'd be kind enough to explain to me precisely what's going on. He leaves the office and Pierce lets out a huff. Town Hall. Adam is waiting by the window next to the refreshment table. The official from downstairs enters the room. Official: Mr Wainwright? Adam heads out of the room. Adam: Thank you. Hall. Adam approaches a selection panel of four people, which includes Glenvil Harris and Maureen Greenwood. There are two chairs set up in front of it. Glenvil: Please. Sit down, Mr Wainwright. Greenwood: Mrs Wainwright didn't make it, then? Adam: She must be held up. It's unlike her to be late. Greenwood: There are many who would say it's very important for a prospective Member of Parliament, a man, or a woman, to show that they have a strong sense of family values. You may not agree. Adam: I do agree, Mrs Greenwood. Greenwood: West Peckham is a marginal seat. And like it or not, having a young wife may well be considered an asset. Adam: That's exactly my view. I'm always very proud to have Sam by my side. Greenwood: But she's not by your side. That's the point. Adam: I'm sure she'll be here soon. Glenvil: Well, there's no point in waiting for her, is there? Shall we get started? Adam: Right. Hospital. A man walks in through a rear entrance, carrying a bunch of flowers. Upstairs. A couple of agents sit on chairs outside Vlessing's room. One checks his watch, then taps it and stands up. The two men leave. Vlessing's room. A nurse leaves the room. Vlessing is still unconscious or asleep. Staircase. The man with the flowers passes the two agents on their way down. One glances back at him, but they keep going. At the top of the stairs, the man looks around, then enters Vlessing's room. He withdraws a needle from the bunch of flowers and clasps a hand over Vlessing's mouth. Vlessing struggles, but is unable to stop the man from injecting him in the neck. A moment later Vlessing goes limp. Town Hall. Adam is still in front of the panel. Glenvil: Is there anything you want to add, Mr Wainwright? Adam: Only that if you select me, I'll do everything I can, both for the constituency and the party. Greenwood: Goes without saying. The official opens the door behind them and Sam enters, out of breath. Sam: Sorry I'm late! Adam stands up and goes to her as she approaches the table. Sam: Adam. Will you ever forgive me? Greenwood: Mrs Wainwright? Sam: Yes. Adam: Where have you been? Sam: Er... it's a long story. Er, and I'm afraid I'm not even allowed to tell you. Erm... I was... trying to help a police officer. Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle. You see, I, I used to work for him. Except he's not a detective any more and... I'm not even allowed to tell you what he was doing there either. Glenvil: Please. Sit down. Sam: Thank you. She and Adam both sit down. Sam: Have we gn yet? Glenvil: I'm afraid we've finished. Sam: What d'you mean? I, look, I know I look a complete wreck, but... these... aren't my clothes. Erm, but I want you to know I completely support my husband. Glenvil: Do you share his views? Sam: You mean... Greenwood: His political views. Sam: His political views? Absolutely. Well, not all of them. If you want the truth, I voted for Mr Churchill in the election, because he brought us through the wr and I thought he deserved another chance but maybe I'm wrong. I don't really understand much about politics, but I can tell you this. Adam will make a wonderful candidate because... he's honest and he believes absolutely in what he does and ever since I've met him, the only thing he's wanted to do is to help other people. And the only mistake he's ever made, probably, is in marrying me. Adam clasps her hand. Sam: But if you choose him, I promise I won't let him down again, or you. And he will win the seat. Peckham East. Adam: West. Sam: Right. William Chambers' office. Chambers walks into the room, followed by Pierce. Chambers: dad? Pierce: Injected with potassium cyanide. All the hallmarks of a Soviet operation. Chambers: Wasn't he under guard? Pierce: Er, they left him unattended. Chambers: Good God. Pierce: They won't be coming back. Well, at least we've learned something, Sir William. This Eternity Ring is even more dangerous than we thought. Soviets will do anything, break any rules, to protect it. Chambers: And the isotopes stolen from Arnwell? Pierce: Er, we found them. Vlessing had them. Chambers: How did he get them? A street in London. Max Hoffman walks along. A man waiting behind a pillar watches him pass, then walks after him. He follows Hoffman to a pub. Hoffman looks around before going in, but doesn't notice his pursuer. The man enters a nearby phone box and begins to dial. Inside. Hoffman sits at the bar with Tomasz, who eats a sandwich hungrily. Hoffman: I may not be able to see you for a while. Tomasz: Why not? Hoffman: Things are happening. I can't explain. It is not to do with you. The pub door opens, and Foyle walks in. Tomasz and Hoffman both stand up. Hoffman: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Good evening. Hoffman: It's all right, Tomasz. He urges him to sit down. Hoffman: So I was right. You were sent to spy on us. Foyle: No, I haven't been sent. But you two were seen meeting the other night. And it would appear to be important to find out why, so, yes, you've been followed. Hoffman: This... is Tomasz Debski. My son, when I had a son, studied briefly at the University of Warsaw. They were friends. Tomasz came to England and joined the RAF. He flew 40 missions. He was as brave as any of them. But then one day... I, I don't judge him but nor do I excuse him... something snapped and he deserted. Since then he has been in something of a limbo. He has no ID, no ration book. He could be arrested at any time. I have been trying to help him with food and money because of the friendship he had with my son. Tomasz stands up. Tomasz: This is my fault. I came to him. I should never have done that. Foyle looks between the two of them, then nods. Bankes Close. Frank Shaw is heading back to the house. As he approaches, he sees Ruth standing on the doorstep, talking with a man, Eric. A moment later, Eric moves off and Ruth goes back in. Shaw house. Frank enters and walks through to the dining room, where Ruth's mother sits at the table. Ruth comes through from the kitchen and starts setting the table. Ruth: How'd it go? Frank: Who was that man? Ruth: Who? Frank: Just now. I saw you with him outside. Ruth: Have you been drinking? Frank: Who was he? Ruth: His name's Eric. He lives three doors down. He comes in now and then, to help out. The fuses, that sort of thing. Frank: And did he help out while I was a prisoner of the Japs? Ruth: Don't be absurd. Frank: Answer me! Ruth: Yes, he came in. He's a neighbour. Sometimes it helped to have a man about the house and Eric was there. Frank: What was he, then, a conchie? Ruth: No. He was wounded. He was invalided out. Frank: Didn't look injured to me. Ruth: What are you talking about? Frank turns to bellow up the stairs. Frank: John! Ruth: He's at work. Frank: I want to talk to him. I want to talk to both of you. Ruth: What is it? Frank: I can't stay here any more. Mother: Who is this man? And what is he doing in my house? Frank turns around to leave. Ruth: Frank! He leaves the house without looking back. Ruth sighs. William Chambers' office, night. He paces, waiting. The phone rings, and he picks up right away. He listens for a few brief seconds then puts it back down. He takes his hat and coat and leaves. Hanover Gate, night. A car pulls up in front the gates. Across the street, another car parks opposite. Chambers gets out of the first car, and it drives away. Chambers stands waiting in the rain. As a man walks out through the gates, Chambers stops him. Chambers: What is the shortest route to the Strand? Russian Agent: Well... He turns and looks around. A man takes a photograph from the car opposite. Russian Agent: Come along. I'm going that way. They walk away from the gates together. Chambers: I want you to tell me about the Eternity Ring. I want to know what's going on. The car opposite drives on. Back alley club. A man leaves the club and walks off, the sound of singing drifting from inside. Singer: ♪ If I were to see her... ♪ On the opposite side of the alley, Frank Shaw stands, smoking a cigarette and drinking from a bottle. The club door opens again, and Valentine emerges, smiling. Frank (offscreen): Oi, you! Valentine turns abruptly. Frank tosses his bottle down on the ground. Frank: What is this place? Valentine dabs his mouth with a handkerchief. Frank: And what are you? Valentine: It's a... private club. Frank: My son, John, he works in here. Valentine: Er, yes. Excuse me. He tries to walk on, but Frank grabs him by the front of his jacket. Valentine crises out in surprise. Frank: You're a bloody nancy boy, aren't you? Huh, eh? Have you been touching my son? He knocks Valentine's hat off. Valentine: I don't know your son. I don't know who you are. Frank: Yeah, well, I know what you are and I know your type, you bastard! He punches Valentine, who drops to his knees. Frank punches him a few more times and shoves him down on the ground. Then he backs away, raising his hands to his head. Hospital. Foyle is visiting Valentine where he lies in a hospital bed, his face bruised. Foyle: The doctor seems to think you'll be out in a couple of days. Valentine: Oh, good. What a relief. I can hardly wait. He winces a little. Foyle: The police officers who helped you last night also spoke to me earlier. Valentine: Oh, God. He covers his face with his hand. Valentine: So you know. Foyle: Know about what? Valentine: About the club. Foyle: A gentlemen's club? Valentine: That's one way of describing it. Foyle: Hmm. Valentine: The man who attcked me. He, he, um... Foyle: Yes. I know him. He's actually a decent man. Valentine: He... seemed to think that I'd... I never touched his son. It's, it's not like that. Foyle: I'm sure. Valentine: Who else knows? Foyle: At the office? Valentine: Yes. Foyle: No one. Valentine sits up a little. Valentine: Um... I'd be... I'd prefer it... I'd, I'd, I'd be very grateful if... if, if, if they didn't find out. Foyle: I don't see any reason why they should. Valentine: Thank you. Foyle turns to go, and Valentine lies back with a sigh of relief. Foyle stops in the doorway. Foyle: Just one thing. Sir William. Trust him? Valentine gives a faint huff of amusement. Valentine: Miss Pierce doesn't. Foyle nods and leaves. Valentine sighs shakily again, then coughs and covers his face with his hand. Police station. Ruth is sitting in the waiting area. A uniformed officer escorts Frank out from the back. Policeman: Be good. He walks off. Frank notices Ruth as she stands up. Ruth: Frank. Frank: Ruthie. She steps up and embraces him. Frank: I'm so sorry. Ruth: Come on. Let's get you home. MI5 building. Pierce leads Foyle into an office. Pierce: You heard about Vlessing? Foyle closes the door behind them as Pierce goes over to sit down at the desk. Foyle: He died. Pierce: Mmm. But not as a result of the accident. He was poisoned. Foyle: Pretty convenient all round, then, I'd say. Pierce: Sorry? Foyle: Vlessing being the only person directly implicated in the so-called Eternity Ring. Pierce: Well, there's nothing so-called about it. Foyle: Well, it doesn't exist, does it? Pierce gets up from the desk. Pierce: What makes you think that? She goes over and closes the second door out of the office. Foyle: Well, what else does it consist of? A handful of codenames, papers and photographs, at least one of which has been faked. Pierce returns to her desk. Pierce: Yes, so you keep saying, but I'll be interested in how you reached that conclusion. Foyle: Because, A, Samantha Wainwright has never met Vlessing. Vlessing was added to the photograph. B, the production she saw at the Old Vic was a Shakespeare production, not The Cherry Orchard. The V in the photograph is not the V in Chekhov, as much as you'd like me to think so. It is the V in Henry V. He takes the photo out of his pocket and drops it on the desk. Foyle: Which was on two weeks after Gorin's defection, which is when the photograph was taken. Pierce: You're not suggesting I was involved in this? Foyle: Well, I can't think of any other way it could happened. Can you? So Vlessing is implicated, about to be questioned, and he's tipped off by... I wonder whom? You didn't want me anywhere near him, did you? Why? Pierce: I told you. Foyle: Because you know very well he'd have said he'd never been anywhere near the Old Vic and had no idea what the Eternity Ring was. Pierce: And what would be the point of creating a fake spy ring? Foyle: Good question. You tell me. Pierce: I'm not the one explaining myself. Foyle: Yet! Pierce: If you've got a theory, Foyle, I want to hear it. But I think this may be the time to keep your voice down. Foyle is silent for a moment. Foyle: William Chambers? Pierce: What about him? He sits down opposite her. Foyle: You doubt his integrity? There might be a better word. Pierce: Er, I think he's... unreliable. Foyle: Double agent, is this what you're saying? Pierce says nothing. Foyle: So it's a trap? Aleksei Gorin, genuine defector, brings genuine stolen papers from the Soviet Embassy, to which you add a few of your own, giving the impression there's a network out there called the Eternity Ring. Very creative. If Chambers is a double agent, it's impossible he wouldn't know about it. Disorientation. Doubts himself, resulting in panic, errors... If you've been right, that is. This sort of thing, is it? Pierce: Yes. Flashback to Chambers waiting at Hanover Gate. Pierce (voiceover): He couldn't believe the Eternity Ring existed. The only way he could be sure was by making direct contact with the Soviets. Pierce is inside the car waiting opposite the gates, along with two agents in the front seats. Pierce: That's him. Pierce (voiceover): Even if this put him at risk. One of the agents starts taking photographs. Pierce (voiceover): He met a Soviet agent at Hanover Gate. Which is exactly what I'd been waiting for. Pierce: Thank you. Drive on. Their car drives away. Foyle: So you've been in control of all this, not him, and he's behaved in exactly the way you thought? Pierce: Mmm, with one exception. I had set up Fraser's secretary to implicate Fraser himself, not realising, nor recognising that she was your ex-driver. Sir William made the connection and insisted on hiring you. Foyle: And what'll happen to him now? Pierce: Mmm. He'll be replaced. Foyle: And Vlessing? Pierce: What about him? Foyle: Well, he could have talked. Did you have him klled? Pierce: Oh! Certainly not. Vlessing was exactly what I told you he was, Foyle. A spy. He had plenty of enemies. Foyle: His death is too convenient. Pierce: Sometimes things work out that way. Street outside the Wainwright house. Sam is just walking back with her shopping bag. Glenvil Harris is coming the other way, followed by Adam. Glenvil: Good afternoon, Mrs Wainwright. I've just been talking to your husband. Our candidate for the coming by-election at West Peckham. Sam: What? Adam, you've been selected? Adam: Yes. Sam: Oh, that's wonderful! Why? Glenvil: Why? Well, he was the best candidate, and certainly the, er, most memorable. Ah, it's easy enough to stand in front of a committee and tell us what we want to hear, but, er, it's rare that someone comes in abd tells us what they really believe in. I think the two of you are gonna make a formidable team. Sam: Adam, I don't believe it. Adam: I'm not sure I can believe it myself. Glenvil: Well, believe it. You have yourselves a very good day. Sam: Goodbye. Glenvil walks away. Sam: You did it! You're going to be an MP! Adam: Well, we haven't got there yet. Sam: Well, there's no question. With my help. Adam: Why do I feel there's just been a huge swing to the Tories? Sam: Oh, don't say that. Come on, Mr Right. First off I'm gonna make you some supper. Then we're gonna start work on the National Health and Social Security. Good old Attlee. I'm so proud of you. Adam Wainwright, MP. She kisses him. William Chambers' office. He's packing up his desk as Pierce comes in. Chambers: I imagine you want to know why. Pierce: No, I have no interest at all. Chambers: Well, if you've come here to offer me a pstol and a bottle of whisky, I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed. Pierce: No need. You disappear. Leave the country. Nobody sees you again. Chambers: Banishment. How very Elizabethan. And who takes over here? I wonder. Always knew you were ambitious. Pierce: I would have favoured beheading. She leaves. Fraser house. Foyle is with Fraser in the sitting. Fraser: I didn't expect to see you again, Mr Foyle. Foyle: I'm here to apologise for being at your house the other night under false pretences. Fraser: You came to spy on me. Foyle: Not exactly. But you'd be interested to know that you were being targeted long before I became involved. Fraser: Who by? Foyle: Intelligence. You were used in a scheme to expose an informer. It suggested that you, the least likely person in the country to help the Soviets, were in fact a spy. Foyle: And is that why you came here? Fraser: It was a situation I was drawn into unaware of their motives and I was trying to do the opposite of what they wanted and show that you weren't... a spy. Fraser: And were you successful? Foyle: Unfortunately not, because it turns out that, although they didn't know it, they were inadvertently absolutely right. Fraser: Right about what? Foyle: That you're a traitor. Fraser: I'm not a traitor, Mr Foyle. Foyle: What's your word for it, then? Fraser: How have you reached your, er, your conclusion? Foyle: By spotting the actual, genuine link between you and Marc Vlessing. Flashback to Helen, Phyllis and Foyle in the scullery. Helen: You can get off home, Phyllis. Oh, and don't forget the professor's tea in the morning. He's driving up to Oxford. Two hours each way. He won't manage without his tea. Cut back to the present. Foyle: The same flask showed up at Vlessing's flat. Perfect for tea for which you may well share a mutual fascination. Flashback to Foyle searching Vlessing's flat. Foyle (voiceover): Not so perfect, in spite of the lead lining, for carrying radioactive uranium samples... Cut back to the present. Foyle: ...stolen by yourself from Arnwell and passed on to Vlessing, because he either opened it, or a seal was broken, resulting in the radiation leak. Fraser: I'm not a traitor. I'm a scientist. You have to understand a new world we find ourselves in, Mr Foyle. Hiroshima. Nagasaki. Do you have any idea of the power of the atomic bmb? We've unleashed a monster. Forget the wr we've just had. The next wr is going to be unimaginable. It could wipe out all humanity. He sits down and sighs. Fraser: Helen became ill because of it. Well, I can't be certain, but she was with me in New Mexico. The Trinity test. We were too close. And now she's dying. He stands up again. Fraser: I believe this knowledge is too dangerous to keep to ourselves. We have to share it. A brotherhood of scientists, Mr Foyle. That is what I'm talking about. Oh, I, I detest Stalin and what he's doing, but that doesn't mean to say that I think the Russians are bad people or that they deserve to be wiped out. Even Churchill wanted us to share this knowledge, you know. That is my vision. I am doing what I'm doing for the safety of mankind. Foyle: Well, call it what you like, you'd understand why not everybody would agree with you. Fraser: You've told them? MI5. Foyle: No. Fraser: But you're going to tell them? Foyle: Since you believe that your knowledge and vision should be shared, you might find it liberating to tell them yourself. Fraser: Yes. Yes. To make an example of myself regardless of the consequences. That might be the way. Foyle: I think it will have to be. Fraser nods. Fraser: Goodbye, Mr Foyle. I'm glad to have met you. Foyle nods and leaves. Outside. Foyle leaves the house. Pierce opens the back door of a car waiting outside. Pierce: Mr Foyle. May I ask where you're going? Foyle: The hotel. Then home to Hastings. Pierce: Let me give you a lift. The car drives along over a bridge with Pierce and Foyle together in the back. Pierce: I'll come straight to the point. I want you to stay with MI5. Foyle: What makes you think I'd do that? Pierce: Well, you always wanted to be part of the service. Foyle: I applied once during the w*r and was rejected. They had their chance. Pierce: This is no time for hurt feelings. This is business. You're very good at what you do and I'd like to work with you. Foyle: I haven't got the requisite capacity for deceit. Pierce: Precisely. I need someone I can trust. Foyle: Well, that would be mutual. Pierce: Point taken. Oh, come on, Foyle! What's your alternative? What are you gonna do for the rest of your life? Fish? Bigger fish to be caught here. He sighs. Foyle: What about America? Pierce: Well, the Howard Paige situation means that you're not on the FBI's most popular list. But we can deal with them. Foyle: There's a Polish airman out there, flew 40 missions for the RAF and as a result finds himself in a situation he doesn't deserve. Pierce: I'll see what we can do. Anything else? Foyle: I'd need a driver. You owe it to her. So do I. The car comes to a stop and Foyle gets out. Pierce: The work we're doing matters. I appreciate our methods may not be to your liking, but it's not our fault. It's just the way it is. Foyle closes the car door, and stands and watches as it drives away. Then he walks off.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "08x01 - The Eternity Ring"}	foreverdreaming
Greene house. George Greene is reading his newspaper in the lounge as his wife Evelyn walks past the door with a tray. The phone rings in the hallway. George glances up at it, but keeps on reading it. Evelyn answers the phone. Evelyn Greene: Kensington 3487? She listens for a moment, face growing serious. Evelyn Greene: Yes. She puts the phone down and heads up the stairs. George peers after her through the doorway. Shortly after she comes back down, carrying a suitcase. She sets it down at the foot of the stairs and walks on. George: Who was it, darling? Evelyn opens a drawer, takes out her passport, and goes back to pick up the suitcase. She walks past the lounge door again and then there's the sound of the front door opening. George looks up from his newspaper again, and after a moment finally sets it aside and gets up to go out into the hall. The front door is standing open. He looks around. George: Evelyn? Hospital, night. A nurse sits reading at the nurse's station on the ward. Outside. A man, Grigory Palenko, staggers through the trees towards the hospital building. He turns to look back, revealing that his shirt is soaked in blood. He stumbles on. As he reaches the entrance, someone watches him from the tree. Hospital lobby. Palenko lurches in through the doors and leans against one for support, panting, then collapses on the floor. The door squeaks as it swings back. Ward. The nurse looks up from her station. There's the sound of slurred, indistinct speech from outside, and she gets up and goes out into the lobby. She sees Palenko and rushes to his side where he's trying to crawl across the floor. Nurse: Doctor Ross! She turns him over and sees that he's soaked in blood. Nurse: Doctor Ross! Doctor Ross? Doctor Ian Ross comes down the stairs. Ross: What is it? Nurse: I can't stop the bleeding. As Ross joins her kneeling over Palenko, Palenko grabs him by the wrist and says something indistinct. Ross: He needs a transfusion. Get him onto the ward. Was he with anyone? Nurse: I don't know. Palenko is still trying to speak. Ross: What? Palenko: Ten-eye. Ten... Ten-eye. Ross: Ten-eye? Palenko: Ten-eye. He slumps back, losing consciousness. An orderly arrives. Ross: Fetch a trolley. He stands up. The nurse and orderly wheel a trolley out into the hall. Palenko is loaded onto it. Ross: Bring the blood. They wheel Palenko into the ward and then the nurse heads back out into the lobby to fetch the wheeled stand with the blood bag. She wheels it back in. Someone watches through the cracked door of the ward as Ross takes Palenko's pulse, then shakes his head. Ross: He's gone. There's a faint clatter from outside the door as the observer moves away. Ross looks towards the door, then hurries over and opens it wider. He looks out for a moment before heading back in. OPENING CREDITS MI5 building. Men are taking down and replacing photographs and paintings in what was formerly William Chambers' office. Sir Alec Meyerson directs them, while secretary Charlotte Brown stands by with a clipboard. Sir Alec: Excellent. He says something indistinct to Charlotte, and she goes over to speak into the intercom. Pierce's office. Pierce stands by her desk, waiting. Louise (intercom): Miss Pierce, Sir Alec will see you now. Pierce presses the intercom button. Pierce: Thank you, Louise. She lets out a breath, then straightens up and walks out, passing the receptionist, who's on the phone at her desk. Receptionist: Those documents are waiting for you at reception. Yes, they should be ready in about an hour. Pierce crosses to the doors opposite and straightens herself up before knocking and entering. Inside. Sir Alec stands regarding a collection of documents laid out on the table, Pierce and secretary Charlotte Brown standing by. Sir Alec: Thank you for holding the fort, Miss Pierce. All things considered, it could be a lot worse. Pierce: Thank you, Sir Alec. Sir Alec: Pity about Chambers, but there we are. Onward and upward. Pierce: Onward and upward. Sir Alec picks up a file folder. Sir Alec: Now, this puzzled me. Mr Foyle. Pierce: Er, Sir William brought him in. Sir Alec: Reliable? Pierce: Absolutely. Sir Alec: An unusual background for intelligence, police. Pierce: Oh, he's an outsider admittedly, but that might be his strength. Sir Alec: With these defectors, a bit of detective work might be just the thing. Where is he now? Pierce: Helping out with recruitment. Sir Alec: Bit of a waste of his talent. Bring him in. Pierce: Thank you, Charlotte. Charlotte: Yes, sir. Pierce leaves. Office. Valentine is at the desk, writing. Someone knocks on the door, and Foyle goes over to answer it. Foyle: Come in. Interviewee Daniel Willis enters. Willis: Thank you. Valentine checks a sheet of paper. Valentine: Daniel Willis? Willis: That's right. Foyle: How do you do? The two of them shake hands. Valentine: Sit down. Willis and Foyle both sit. Valentine: I see you were in Special Operations Executive during the wr. Willis: I was, sir. Yes. Valentine: You should be very proud. Willis: I'm not sure everyone in the service would agree with you. I heard you lot thought we were a bunch of amateurs, disrupting your finely tuned operations by running around, blwing up bridges! Which is, er, why I'm here, of course. I feel invisible sabotage is preferable. Every time we destroyed something, the SS would kll hundreds of innocent civilians. That wasn't easy to live with. Valentine: But you managed? Willis: I did. Not that I don't think about it. But they had to be beaten, didn't they? Valentine: And now you feel you'd like to do work that's a little more cerebral? Your job here would be to find people who have information that we need and persuade them to give it to you... by more subtle means than the SOE would have used. Willis: Building bridges rather than blwing them up, so to speak. Valentine: Indeed. He turns to look at Foyle. Later. Valentine and Foyle walk through the corridors together. Valentine: The powers that be want us to absorb the rump of the SOE, but I, I just don't think they're suitable. Willis: Am I'm under the impression we're looking for people who are astute. with an ability to see the other person's point of view. He seems to fit the bill. Valentine: I'm sorry, can't agree. Not for me, I'm afraid. He goes through a door, and Foyle walks on. Typing pool. Charlotte is on the phone. Charlotte: That's right, same size, different name. She sees Foyle coming down the stairs and covers the phone receiver. Charlotte: Mr Foyle? Foyle: Yes? Charlotte: Sir Alec would like a word with you. She turns back to the phone. Charlotte: Sorry, by Friday, yes. Thank you. She hangs up. Sir Alec's office. He pushes a file across his desk towards Foyle. Pierce is also standing by holding a stack of photos. Sir Alec: In the last few days, three high-ranking Russian defectors - our responsibility and in our safe houses - have been found mrder. Pierce lays out photos of the three dad men. Pierce: As you can see each one's been garrotted in exactly the same manner, typical of an NKVD operation. Sir Alec: I've ordered a sweep of the refugee centres. Any Russian we find will be questioned. But more importantly, how exactly did they find those safe houses? If we have another security breach, I need to know. Foyle: Wouldn't Valentine be more suited to this? Pierce: Valentine was in charge of the safe houses. It needs to be someone who wasn't involved. Sir Alec stands up. Sir Alec: I'm starting to get the impression that I've inherited an organisation that is somewhat complacent. I'd be grateful, Mr Foyle, if you'd prove me wrong. He walks away. Foyle exchanges a look with Pierce. Typing pool. Charlotte escorts Sam into the room. Charlotte: Here we are. You can bring in a potted plant if you want, but no family snaps. They're discouraged. Sam: Right. Charlotte: And you can draw your Royal from the stationary store. Sam: Royal? Charlotte: Royal Arrow. Typewriter. You'll need it. Letters, reports, it never stops. You did do the induction course, didn't you? Sam nods. Charlotte walks past her to one of the desks. Charlotte: This is your desk. As Mr Foyle's assistant you'll work in this section. What's your WPM? Sam: Er, twenty. Charlotte: I'm sure you'll speed up with practice. Driving license? Sam: Oh, yes. Valentine opens a door at the back of the room. Valentine: Miss Brown? When you have a moment. Charlotte: Certainly, Mr Valentine. He leaves and Charlotte turns back to Sam. Charlotte: I'd watch out for him. He hates joiners. Sam: Joiners? Charlotte: Well, that's you, I'm afraid. It's what we call anyone who's new. But he'll soon get used to you. I've been here three years now, and he's almost friendly! She follows Valentine out. As Sam sits down rather awkwardly at her desk, Foyle enters the room and comes up behind her. Foyle: How you getting on? Sam: So far, so good. He gives her a file folder. Foyle: Right. Your first job. You'll like this. Three Russian defectors, all of them mrder. I want the files on anyone who had contact with them and anything related. As quick as you like. If you're in trouble, ask Charlotte. He leaves and Sam picks up the file. Street, West Peckham. Adam and Councillor Glenvil Harris are out canvasing, both carrying stacks of leaflets. Glenvil: Yeah, if we start down that end of the- A man walks past them. Adam: Morning. Glenvil: Morning. And we work our way round. Right, now remember, don't let them get the upper hand. Make your point clearly and don't get involved in an argument about something you know bugger all about. All right? He pats Adam on the shoulder. Glenvil: Come on. They climb the front steps of a house Adam knocks on the door. A man opens it. Adam: Good morning. I'm your Labour party candidate in the forthcoming by-election. I wanted to talk to you a bit about our new National Health Act. The man slams the door in his face. Glenvil: Never mind, come on. They head back down the steps. Glenvil: Lord Beaverbrook says the English'll only vote for a man who wears a hat. Have mine. He takes it off and hands it to Adam. Later. Adam now wearing Glenvil's hat, knocks on a door and it opens. Adam: Good morning. I'm your Labour candidate in the forth- The door slams. Glenvil: All right. They walk on. Adam takes the hat off. Wilberforce Road. The two of them cross the street, Glenvil now wearing his hat again. Glenvil: This next house is full of people who still haven't been re-housed. Adam: Great. They'll be thrilled to see us. Glenvil: Well, I've got one or two down as a possible vote. They approach a house in the middle of a terraced row. The roof is damaged and the next house along is boarded up and missing most of its upper floor. A woman comes out of the door as they approach. Adam: This one? Woman: Kids, time to come in! Adam knocks on the open door, and an older woman, Mrs Green, comes to the door. Adam: Good morning. I'm standing as your Labour candidate in the forthcoming by-election. I was wondering if I could have a moment? Mrs Green: I'm sorry, dear. I don't mean to be rude, but- Girl (offscreen): Excuse me. Mrs Green: It's not a good time. The woman who went out walks back in with a boy and girl, Mrs Green's grandchildren. Adam: Ooh, sorry. Girl: Thank you! Adam: Er, is there anything I can do to help? Mrs Green: No, I don't think so. Woman: Right, go and wash your hands! Your dinner's ready. Adam: Are you sure? Mrs Green: Well, perhaps you can ask the police why nobody's looking for my daughter. She's missing. Hasn't been home for the last three days. Adam: Could she be staying with friends? Mrs Green: No, it's not like her. She hasn't turned up for work. They say she has to be gone a bit longer before they'll declare her a missing person. But she could be lying in a ditch for all I know. They just don't care about people like us. Adam: Well, we'll certainly make some enquiries for you, won't we Glenvil? Glenvil: Er... Adam: What's your daughter's name? Mrs Green: Evelyn, Evelyn Green. She heads back into the house. Glenvil: Why'd you say that? The boy comes running back out, passing between the two of them. Glenvil: Whoa! The two of them walk away. Glenvil: It's a matter for the police, Adam. It's nothing to do with us. Let's try this one. MI5 building. Sam hurries through the corridors with a stack of files, almost walking into a man as he comes out of a door. Sam: Ooh, sorry! Man: Sorry. Foyle's office. Foyle pushes a chair round behind the desk. Foyle: Yes? The door opens and Sam comes in. Foyle: Well done. She sets the files on the desk in front of him, a bit breathless. Sam: I think that's everything. And I've included a police report that came in last night. A su1c1de. Unidentified, apparently Russian. Not sure if that's relevant or not. Foyle: Thank you. Sam: Anything else? Foyle: Nope. He starts reading the files as she leaves. Hospital. Foyle drives up to the building. He gets out of the car and heads inside. Hospital morgue. Foyle and Doctor Ross are looking at Palenko's body. Foyle: No identification card? Ross: No. Foyle: No ration book? Ross: Nothing. His wrists were slashed, which would indicate su1c1de. He lifts Palenko's arm to show Foyle the stitched cuts. Ross: But he has two broken fingers, a nasty bump on the head, severe bruising to his ribs and a deep gash on his arm. He lifts the body's other arm to show the wound. Ross: So, he'd obviously been in a struggle of some kind. Foyle: In your statement in the police report, you say you thought he'd been followed? Ross: I thought I glimpsed someone, in uniform. Foyle: And you think he's Russian? Ross: He could be Russian. He was rambling. The only word I could make out was 'Ten eye'. He kept saying 'Ten eye'. Foyle: Ten eye? Ross: I wouldn't be surprised if he had klled himself. The Russians have been through hell. Foyle: What's this, do you think? He gestures to the body. Ross: Looks like a tattoo that's been removed. What would make somebody do that, I wonder? Foyle: Russian Gestapo? Ross turns to stare at the body again, and then looks at Foyle. MI5 building. Sir Alec (voiceover): This dad man, this Russian you've found. Foyle is just entering Sir Alec's office where he and Pierce stand by the desk. Sir Alec: And our three defectors. Are they connected? Foyle: Er, well, yes, it's possible. Sir Alec: He could have klled them, but how did he find them? He picks up a piece of paper from the desk. Sir Alec: This has just come through from the Foreign Office. He hands it to Foyle. Sir Alec: A translator in their Russian department, one Evelyn Greene, hasn't turned up for work in the last two days and her husband has no idea where she is. Pierce: She liaised with the defectors so she knew the addresses of the safe houses. She heads out of the room. Sir Alec: Bit of a coincidence her disappearing, don't you think? Look into it for me, would you? Foyle: Mmm. Foyle follows Pierce out. Typing pool. Sam is standing by Charlotte's desk. Sam: New shoes? Charlotte: D'you like them? They're all the rage. They're calling it 'The Coupon Buster'. Sam: Oh, really? Why? Charlotte: Instead of five coupons for one shoe, you get three shoes! Look. She takes one of her shoes off and pulls off the heel, revealing that there's a slimmer high heel beneath. Charlotte: High heels transformed into a sensible day shoe. She replaces the heel and puts the shoe down on the desk, then opens a drawer. Charlotte: Then with a small bow on the front... She presses it onto the front of the shoe. Charlotte: And the heels back off... She removes the outer heel and puts the shoe back on. Charlotte: A dress shoe! She props her foot up on the desk for Sam to look at it. Foyle comes in through a nearby door, and Charlotte drops her foot back down to sit at her desk properly. Foyle turns to Sam. Foyle: D'you know what the NKVD is? Sam: Russian Gestapo, sir. Foyle: Correct. They have an emblem, insignia. See if you can get a picture of it. She nods and starts to move off, then looks back at Charlotte. Charlotte: Brown book, top shelf. Sam goes off to get the book and Foyle turns to Charlotte. Foyle: Your Russian's pretty good, isn't it? Charlotte: Very good, sir. Foyle: Is 'Ten eye' a Russian word or phrase? Charlotte: Not something I've heard. How are we spelling it? Foyle: Well, T-E-N-I? E-Y-E, maybe? Charlotte: It isn't any word I've heard. Where did you hear it? Foyle: The last word of a dying man. Sam returns with the book and points Foyle to something on the page. Sam: Here. Charlotte: Who was he? Foyle: Don't know. Charlotte: Ten eye? Maybe it isn't Russian? Maybe it was "antenna" or "Anthony" or "deny"? Foyle traces the insignia in the book, a match for the shape of the removed tattoo. Charlotte: What makes you think he was Russian? Foyle: Well, he... it appears he was a member of the NKVD. There's the sound of laughter from behind them. Charlotte checks her watch, then stands up. Charlotte: Everybody, back to work. Foyle: Thank you. He moves away. Charlotte: I'll keep working on it, sir. Greene house, lounge. George Greene is pacing. George: We were about to have dinner. He turns around to face Foyle. George: Everything seemed normal. I was sitting here, reading the paper. And then the telephone rang. Evelyn answered it. All I heard her say was 'yes'. Then, then, I heard her go upstairs and down again a moment later, into the hall. I called out, but she didn't answer. So after a moment I followed her out into the hall to see what was happening. He leads Foyle out into the hall. George: And she'd gone. The front door was open and she'd simply disappeared. Foyle: Um, what sort of time was this? George: About 6:30. Foyle gestures to a framed photo on a chest of drawers. Foyle: Is that her? George picks it up. George: Yes, our honeymoon. He gives it to Foyle to look at. George: I called her sister. Her parents are dad so that's the first place she'd have gone, but she hadn't heard a word. Foyle: It's on file that she was a Communist sympathiser at Cambridge. Is that right? George takes the photo back. George: Well, she's renounced all that stuff years ago. He thumps the photo back down on the chest of drawers. George: I know she's suspected of something. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. But I can assure you that my wife loathed Communism. Foyle: So you can't think of any reason why she'd have left? George: I've thought for some time there might be another man. Oh, she'd become more and more distant. Look, I can't say for certain, but you sense these things, don't you? Even if you don't want to believe it. Street outside the Wainwright house, evening. A couple of the neighbours are chatting over a fence. Woman: Well, she said he didn't even come home. Woman: Oh, that's awful. Sam (voiceover): Nobody said it was going to be easy. She, Adam and Glenvil are sitting in the main room together. Sam: The trouble is they're blaming Labour for all the shortages. She gets up and heads through into the kitchen. Adam: Life's getting harder. It's the truth. Glenvil: We need some sugar to help the medicine go down. You need to, er, appeal to their better nature, Adam, the sense of community. You know, tell them the wr may be over, but we're still all in it together. Sam: I don't think you should hark back to the wr. You'll only remind them of Churchill. Adam: Sam's right. I should talk about the future. People don't want things to go back to the way they were, I know they don't. If people realise what a national health service means for them and their families, I don't think they'll be slamming doors on us. I really don't. Hospital, night. A couple of soldiers are wheeling Palenko's body out through the lobby. The nurse who was on duty when he came in hurries down the stairs. Nurse: Excuse me, what are you doing? Soldier: Sorry, ma'am. Orders. Nurse: Wait! She grabs the edge of the trolley to halt them. Soldier: We've got to take him. Nurse: Please! She covers the body more fully with the sheet as another nurse comes out into the lobby. They both watch as the soldiers wheel the body away. Ward. The nurse walks through the room, followed by Doctor Ross. Nurse: They just barged in, took him away. Ross: The police? Nurse: No, not the police. Two soldiers. Ross: Where were they from? Wainwright house. Glenvil is just about to leave. Glenvil: I'll see you bright and early. Adam: You will indeed. Glenvil: Have a good night's sleep. He leaves, and Adam walks through into the front room, where Sam is just setting a bowl down on the table. Sam: I'm afraid it's leftover stew. I blame the government. They both sit down at the table. Adam: While I was canvassing in Wilberforce Road, I met a woman called Mrs Green. There are two families living in the front room of her bmb-out house. And now, to top it all off, this poor woman's daughter has gone missing and no one's doing anything about it. And if I could get elected I, I just feel I could make a difference to these people's lives. Sam: I know you could. And you will. Adam: Do you think you could come along to campaign? A married couple together. Perhaps they'd react differently. Sam: Of course. I'll see if I can get the morning off. MI5 building. A phone rings. Foyle's office. He picks up the phone from his desk. Foyle: Foyle. Hospital. Doctor Ross is on the other end of the phone in his office. Ross: It's Doctor Ross. I was hoping you'd still be there. You told me to call if there was anything else I thought you should know. We've had a case of body snatching. Foyle's office. Ross (over phone): Our Russian friend. Foyle: When was this? Ross (over phone): This evening. The military collected his remains. Doctor Ross's office. Ross: Er, there's one other thing. Might not be important, but, um, could I show you something in the morning? Not at the hospital. Foyle: Where do you suggest? Doctor Ross's house, next day. Foyle drives up to the house. Doctor Ross's wife, Katrin, walks across the grounds towards him as he gets out of the car. Foyle: Mrs Ross? Katrin: Yes. Foyle: Erm... Inside. Katrin leads Foyle into the house. Foyle: So he didn't mention I was coming? Katrin: Er, no. He didn't. He has been working all night. He gets carried away and before he realises, it is time for breakfast. I'll get him. She goes over to the basement stairs to call to down him. Katrin: Ian. There's someone here to see you! The phone in the hall starts to ring and she comes back to answer it, pointing Foyle towards the stairs. Katrin: Just go down, it's the second door on the right. She picks up the phone. Katrin: Hello? Foyle heads through and down the stairs. Katrin (offscreen): Ah, hello. Yes. Yes. Listen, would you mind very much if I called you back later? We have a visitor. Foyle reaches the basement level and approaches the door to Ross's basement lab. Foyle: Hello? Katrin (offscreen): Yes, I will. Goodbye. Foyle pushes the door open and walks in. Something on the floor catches his eye as the phone upstairs begins to ring again. He walks round the desk to where Doctor Ross lies dad on the floor, a pool of blood under his head. Staircase. Katrin comes down the stairs. Katrin: Darling? Basement lab. Katrin (offscreen): It's the hospital on the telephone for you. Foyle kneels down to look at the body as Katrin arrives in the doorway. Katrin: Ian? She stops as she sees the body. Katrin: Ian? Upstairs, later. Katrin stands smoking in the sitting room. A uniformed police officer approaches her. Policeman: Mrs Ross? She follows him. Basement lab. Police detective Sergeant Jones is smoking as he takes a look at the body. Foyle walks in to the room and Jones stands up. Jones: Never seen anything like this before. It appears he wrapped this Colt revolver in a towel to muffle the sound. The towel-wrapped revolver is still in Ross's right hand. Jones: Wife didn't hear a thing. Wouldn't you say? Foyle: Well, I'd say it's perhaps better to resist jumping to conclusions, and avoid... Jones stubs out his cigarette out in ashtray. Foyle: Contaminating what could be the scene of a crime. Jones: Well, from where I'm standing, Mr Foyle, seems as clear as crystal. su1c1de. Foyle: Ah. Jones: They tell me it's as common as a forged ration book these days. He leaves. Foyle studies Ross's work left on the desk. Sitting room. Jones is questioning Katrin while Foyle listens in. Jones: Were you aware your husband owned a revolver? Katrin: No. He abhorred volence. Jones: How long have you two been together exactly? Katrin: Oh, we were married in Germany just as htler came to power, but were forced to separate under their compulsory divorce laws. Jones: So you're not Mrs Ross? Katrin: We were getting re-married next week. Jones: Do I understand this correctly? You're not currently married to the deceased, but engaged? Katrin: Yes. Ross: And, er, what do you do, exactly? Katrin: I am also a doctor. Or I was, before my license was revoked. Jones: On what grounds? Foyle: On the grounds of being Jewish. He gives Jones a look. Jones: And, er, how long was Doctor Ross down in the basement? Katrin: All night. Jones: Had you argued? Katrin: No! No, he often worked late. Jones: Are you sure? It's not uncommon for people to have a change of heart. Is it possible your husband may have felt trapped into marrying you and this was his way out Katrin: I fought to stay alive, so I could be with him. I fought with every fibre of my being. He wouldn't do this. He wouldn't do this to me! She gets up from the sofa and dashes over to the window, sobbing. Foyle: Think that'll do for the moment, don't you? Jones turns to go. Outside. Foyle leaves the house and walks over to join Jones. Foyle: I don't think it's su1c1de. Jones: Why exactly? Foyle: Well, he was about to get married. He called me last night to arrange a meeting this morning. He was very eager that it should take place. The gn was found in his right hand, Doctor Ross was left-handed. At the very least, it's suspicious. Jones nods. He turns to watch as Foyle walks away, then sighs. A meeting room in West Peckham Town Hall. Adam, Sam and Glenville are sitting with a trio of women. Woman: What we want to know, Mr Wainwright, is when will this rationing finally stop? We seem to have won the wr but lost the peace. Adam: Well, I agree. Since the US stopped Lend-Lease we've been struggling. But we plan to invest in the country, build new houses, create jobs. I really believe we've got a bright future. Woman: But what about today, the here and now? Our butcher is sleeping in his shop with a loaded gn, he's that afraid of thieves. Sam: Well, at least if he sh*t one we'll finally get some smoked ham! There's a moment of uncertain silence, and then the women start to laugh. Outside. The group are leaving the building, Sam still talking with one of the women. Glenvil (offscreen): Thank you very much, ladies. A journalist stands waiting down at the foot of the steps with his hands behind his back. Adam and Glenvil split off from the group of women. Glenvil: Sam really is an asset. Get her out on the campaign trail as much as possible. The journalist hurries up the steps to join Sam and the women. He's holding a loaf of bread. Journalist: Do you think we could get a picture of the candidate's wife with the new government bread ration? He gives her the bread. Sam: Oh! Erm, of course. Sam poses on the steps with the group of women. Two men dash up behind them and unfurl a banner. The journalist signals his photographer, who takes a picture. Sam blinks in the flash. Adam is standing by the car. Adam: I'll just go and get Sam. The journalist takes the bread back from Sam. Journalist: Thank you. Adam: What was that about? Sam: I don't know. Bread, apparently! Adam: That's the woman I told you about. He points at Mrs Green where she stands talking with a young woman across the street. Adam: Mrs Green. Her daughter went missing. Sam: Oh, yes. By the looks of her, she still is. Adam: I said I'd help her. I just haven't had the time. Sam: Poor woman. The two of them walk away. MI5 typing pool. Sam is sitting typing as a phone rings. Charlotte goes over to pick it up and answers it in Russian. She covers the receiver and speaks to Sam. Sam: Do me a favour. Give this to Mr Valentine for me? She holds out a folder and Sam takes it. Charlotte continues speaking into the phone in Russian as Sam heads out of the room. She walks up the stairs and along the corridor. Then she pauses, noticing the file, marked 'secret', has the name Evelyn Greene on the front. She opens it and reads a letter addressed to Pierce regarding information about Greene. Then she hears someone approaching and closes the file and walks on. She knocks on the door to Valentine's office. Inside. Valentine is on the phone. Valentine: Evelyn Greene? Sam opens the door, and he beckons her over. Valentine: She's in Berlin, in the Russian Zone? I can't- that's not possible. I can't believe it! No, not here. As Sam goes to put the file down he taps a pile of folders for her to add it to. Valentine: Yes? Right, well, I'll look. As he starts to open the file, he sees Sam's still standing there. Valentine: Yes? Is there something else? Sam: No, sir. She moves away and he goes back to his phone call. Valentine: No, not you, there was someone else. Now, what's your source? Berlin? It's just... Sam closes the door. Lobby. Sir Alec leaves his office and hurries up the stairs. Valentine's office. He's on the phone again, rubbing his forehead. Valentine: It's Valentine here. The girl we passed onto you, you're gonna have to let her go. Well, then, my advice would be to find some other solution. Sir Alec comes in and he puts the phone down. Sir Alec: This is not good enough. I need to know how this woman got all the way to Berlin and into the Russian Zone, for heaven's sake! Valentine: I don't know, sir. Though with respect, I'd say it was down to the Foreign Office. Sir Alec: Meaning? Valentine: Evelyn Green worked for them, and if she was passing information, they should have spotted it. Sir Alec: Well, she wasn't adequately vetted, and that is down to us. Valentine: At least we know who compromised the safe houses. Sir Alec: And is that all we know, Valentine? Are you keeping anything from me? Valentine: Absolutely not! We're questioning everyone in her department to see if they know anything. If there are any more rotten apples, we'll find them. Sir Alec: And this time, maybe, before it's too late. He leaves. Staircase. Charlotte is on her way upstairs, and Valentine stops her as he's on his way down. Valentine: Oh, just a moment, Miss Brown? Can you keep me informed as to what Foyle's up to? Charlotte: Mr Foyle? Sam is just on her way up the stairs, and slows, listening in. Valentine: He's not one of us yet. He's still learning the ropes. He and Charlotte both fall silent, watching Sam as she passes. Valentine: That's all. Charlotte: I understand. Sam and Charlotte both head on upstairs and Valentine goes down. A park bandstand in the rain. A couple are playing with their young daughter, the husband swinging her around. Woman: Ah! That's it. Man: Wahey. Adam sits watching them as the little girl laughs. He turns to look round as Sam arrives. Sam: Hello. She hands him a lunchbox and they kiss as she sits down. Adam: To what do I owe the honour of lunch with my beautiful wife? The couple with the little girl leave. Man: There we go. Sam: Well. Man (offscreen): Let's have lunch, shall we? Woman (offscreen): Oh, what a good idea. Sam: I saw something at work today that might interest you. Adam: As long as it's not top secret! Sam: Actually, it was. I saw a file on a girl named Evelyn Greene. Wasn't that the name of the girl who went missing? Adam: She's got an MI5 file. If this document was secret, should you even be telling me about it? Sam: No, I shouldn't. Absolutely not. She sighs. Sam: But I had to tell you. What are you going to do about it? I think we should speak to Mr Foyle. They start to eat their sandwiches. Hospital. Foyle is walking along the outside of the building with the same nurse from before. Nurse: Doctor Ross was such a kind man. You know what? I can't get over what happened to him. He seemed perfectly fine. God, you'd think after all the suffering I've seen, I'd get used to it. Foyle: He and I had arranged a meeting this morning. Er, apparently, he was keen to talk to me about something. Any idea what that might have been? Nurse: No. I didn't see him after he was called out. There'd been a car accident near Barton Hall. He had to treat someone over there. Foyle: Barton Hall? Nurse: It's a few miles south of here. It was an army camp during the wr. Foyle: What is it now? Nurse: I'm not sure. Barton Hall. Foyle drives up to the barrier across the gates. An armed soldier approaches him as he parks and gets out. Soldier: Sorry. This is Government property. I'll have to ask you to turn back. Foyle: Would it be possible to speak to whomever's in charge? Soldier: It would not, sir. Foyle: I'm with, erm... He shows the soldier his MI5 ID. Soldier: I can see who you're with, sir, but it's still not possible, not without the proper clearance. A second soldier arrives to join the first. Foyle: I see. Soldier: Could you please turn around and go back? Foyle: I understand, thank you. He heads back towards the car. Soldier 2: MI5. Soldier: Tin Eye will need to know about this. Foyle pauses for a moment before getting into his car. Street outside the Wainwright house. Adam walks home with a newspaper and a bottle of milk. A man emerges from one of the other prefabs. Neighbour: Morning. Adam: Morning. Adam walks into the house. He sets the milk down on the kitchen counter. Sam (offscreen): Darling? She comes through into the main room. Sam: After the election, when things quieten down a bit, I thought I might do a foreign language course at the Berlitz school. Adam: Well, it certainly looks like things will quieten down. For us at least. He holds up the newspaper to read from it. Adam: 'Labour candidate's wife joins Conservative Campaign.' Sam: What's this? She looks at the newspaper. The article includes the photo taken outside the town hall. The banner raised behind the group of women reads 'Conservative women against bread rationing'. Adam: They're complaining that the loaves the Government are issuing are getting smaller, which they are. Sam: Oh, Adam! I'm so sorry. I had no idea people could be so devious! Adam: That's politics, Sam. Better get used to it. She looks at the article again and covers her mouth with her hand. He takes her other hand. Adam: Don't worry. Sam sighs. Adam: I'm sure we'll develop thicker skins. Sam: If you hear any news about Mrs Green's daughter, will you let me know? You've got me worried now too. They kiss. Later. Sam has left. Adam is just tying his shoes when there's a knock on the door, and he gets up to open in. Adam: Come in. Glenvil (offscreen): Hello, Adam. Adam: Just getting ready. He heads back into the main room to finish tying his shoes, and Glenvil follows him. Adam: Have you, er, heard anything about the girl from Wilberforce Road? Glenvil: The one who's missing? I haven't, no. Adam: Why not pop over there later, see how the mother is? Glenvil: Why? She's not even going to vote Labour. Adam: It's not her vote I'm interested in, Glenvil. It's her. Glenvil shoves a copy of the newspaper at him. Glenvil: I think you need to concentrate on this campaign, 'cause boy, you've got your work cut out now. Adam: I've seen it. Glenvil: Yeah? She was stitched right up. But not to worry, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve. Turns out our Tory candidate was a wr profiteer. Sat it out and made a fortune in condensed milk. Yeah, he's been trying to keep that quiet. So I'm gonna have a word in the shell-like of a local reporter. That should lose him a few votes. Adam stands up. Adam: I didn't get into politics to play games, Glenvil. I want to create a society that looks after those who can't look after themselves. Glenvil: But if you don't win, it'll be their policies and not ours. Adam: If winning means changing my principles, then I'd rather lose. He heads over to the table to pick up a stacks of leaflets, and sighs. Adam: We do this fair and square or we don't do it at all. He shoves half of the leaflets at Glenvil. Glenvil: Hmm. He follows Adam out. Sir Alec's office. Foyle stands talking to him while Pierce sits at the table. Foyle: It would help to have access to the place. Sir Alec: Miss Pierce? Pierce: Yes. That won't be easy. Sir Alec: Oh, whyever not? What exactly is the function of Barton Hall? Pierce: They eavesdrop on Soviet radio traffic, extract call signs, frequencies, pass on messages to the Americans. They like to keep themselves to themselves. Foyle: Well, a little interdepartmental cooperation might be sensible in the circumstances? Sir Alec: What are you hoping to find? Foyle: It's not impossible there's a link between the place and the dad Russian. Pierce: Is it necessary? We know Evelyn Greene is our leak. Foyle: She may well be the leak. But how did she know when to disappear? Pierce stands up. Pierce: Three dad defectors in her care. She knew it was only a matter of time before we found her! Foyle: Well, her timing was perfect. A lucky guess, or was she told? Mrs Green's house. Adam sits with her in the front room. A woman comes in and picks up a bucket off of a mattress lying on the floor. Mrs Green: I'm sorry for the mess. It's a bit crowded in here. We're still waiting for the compensation. Adam: I plan to do something about that if I'm elected. Mrs Green: It's nice of you to come by, but I want you to know, I'm not political. My Alfred was the Labour man. I can't remember the last time I voted for anything. Adam: Well, I'm not here for your vote. I just wanted to see how you were. But even if you don't vote for me, you should still vote. It's what we fought for. Mrs Green takes a sip of her tea, and is silent for a moment. Mrs Green: I lost Alfred at the end of the wr. He was on a minesweeper when it was sunk by a U-boat. Two days in the water before they picked him up. He caught pneumonia. Died on VE day. Dunno what I'll do if I've lost Evelyn as well. There's just no reason to go on, is there? Adam: Please, don't think like that. There's always a reason. Have you heard from the police? Mrs Green: No, not a word. Adam: Well, I'm going to speak to them myself about this. I'm sure they'll find her. Mrs Green: Something awful's happened to her. I can feel it. Wainwright house, night. Foyle's car is parked outside. Inside. Foyle and the Wainwrights are sitting round the dinner table. Foyle hands his plate over to Sam as she clears up. Foyle: Very nice. Thank you. Sam takes the plates off to the kitchen. Adam: Er, there was something we wanted to talk to you about. Foyle: What's that? Adam: Well... Sam returns to the table. Sam: Erm, one of Adam's constituents has a daughter who has been missing for some time. The woman is distraught because she has no idea what's happened to her and the police don't appear to be doing anything about it. We thought you might be able to help. Foyle: What makes you think that? Sam: Yesterday, at the office, I accidentally came across a file on the missing woman. We thought it might be a clue as how to find her. Foyle: What does, "accidentally" mean? Sam: Mr Valentine requested the file. I took a look inside. Foyle: Well, information on file within the service is not for public discussion. I'm not at liberty to talk about it, neither are you. They're the rules. So what else did you find out? Sam: That she works at the Foreign Office. Foyle: What's her name? Sam: Green. Evelyn Green. Adam: This is my fault, sir. Mr Foyle's right. This isn't something we should get involved in. Sam: She's going to be one of your constituents. And nobody seems to care that she's disappeared into thin air! Adam: I do. Foyle: Leave it with me. Outside. Sam walks Foyle out to his car. Foyle: Don't open files unless asked. Get yourself into trouble. Sam: I didn't intend to. I felt compelled when I saw the name. And I also overheard Mr Valentine ask Charlotte to let him know how your investigation's going. Why he can't just ask you himself? Foyle: Oh? I see. They exchange a look, then Sam heads back to the house as Foyle gets into his car and drives away. Barton Hall, daylight. Sam drives Foyle up to the building. There are multiple soldiers on patrol. CAPTION: Barton Hall Foyle gets out while Sam stays sitting in the car. Two army officers, Major James McDonald and Lieutenant Colonel Harry Galt, come out of the building to meet him. McDonald: Mr Foyle? McDonald. Major James McDonald. They shake hands. Foyle: How do you do? McDonald: Good to see you. This is Lieutenant Colonel Galt. He's in charge of the station. Foyle and Galt shake hands. Foyle: How do you do? Galt: Shall we get on? McDonald: You must have friends in very high places, Mr Foyle, to be allowed a guided tour like this. They walk past a grey car parked nearby, and Foyle takes note of the dented front wing and bent-up headlight. Foyle: Well, your time is very much appreciated. Thank you. McDonald: Now, as I am sure you know, our job is to collect radio traffic which is then encrypted and sent on to be analysed. That's our DF hut. He gestures to a wooden hut some distance away. McDonald: It has to be a hundred yards or so away from the main building to minimise interference. Shall we continue? Foyle: Yes, of course. They walk on through the grounds. Back at the car, Sam gets out and begins to stroll through the grounds. The soldier on guard by the building's front door stops two others passing by. Soldier: Watch the young lady, will you? They head off after Sam. Foyle and his escorts are rounding the back of the building. Galt: Why don't we show Mr Foyle the transcription room? We haven't got all day, after all. He heads inside. There's a muffled cry from inside the building, and Foyle notices a basement window set into the wall. McDonald: Look, I'm sorry Mr Foyle. Don't mind Colonel Galt, it's just his manner. Foyle: Mmm. They follow Galt into the building. McDonald: This way. As they enter, Foyle sees a soldier heading down the basement stairs. His escorts load him off in the opposite direction. Transcription room. A number of men in civilian clothes are listening on headsets. Galt: Here it is. They walk through the room. McDonald: Much of what we intercept we transcribe here by hand, and then we send it on to Bletchley Park by motorbike. Galt: As you can see it's all rather technical and a little dull. Foyle: Well, not at all. Fascinating. McDonald: We're just taking dictation, aren't we, Colonel? Foyle: Mm-hmm. McDonald: The heavy lifting's done by the codebreakers. Foyle: Mm-hmm. They follow Galt back out into the front hallway. McDonald: The room is manned 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Galt: There you have it. Foyle: Ah. And the rest of the house? Galt: Upstairs, sleeping quarters for the men. Radio equipment in the basement. Off limits, I'm afraid. To be honest, just a tangle of wires and little boxes that beep. Drink? He gestures Foyle to a room on the left. McDonald looks back towards the transcription room, absently scratching at his right wrist, then follows them. Outside. Sam is still walking round the grounds. She pauses by a parked motorbike and the dispatch rider winks at her as he walks back to it. As she turns away, she spots something on the ground and picks it up. It's a leather bow, like the one on the pair of shoes that Charlotte showed her. Straightening up, she sees a group of soldiers watching her, and turns and walks back the way she came. Library. Foyle watches out of the window as a solider walks past outside. Galt: So you understand, what we do here is vital to national security. He brings Foyle over a drink. Foyle: Thank you. Galt: Your discretion is taken for granted. Foyle: Well, of course. There's a knock on the door. Galt: Excuse me. A man in a suit enters and hands Galt a message, then leaves again. Galt takes a monocle out of his pocket to read it. Galt: Hmm. Foyle: Er, just one question. Galt: Which is? Foyle: We've been trying to identify a suspected Russian agent who turned up in a hospital not far from here. Any idea who he might be? Galt: Really? It is a concern. Foyle: Well, not any longer, he's dad. su1c1de apparently. And a doctor at the very same hospital, coincidentally, has also been found dad. A Doctor Ross. Mean anything? Galt: Ross. He looks at McDonald. McDonald: No. Galt: Again, not familiar. Sorry. Outside. Galt leads Foyle back out. Sam is now back, standing waiting by the car. Galt: If you'll excuse me? He walks over to a give a file to the dispatch rider. A couple of soldiers come up to speak with McDonald. Inside. Foyle returns to the transcription room. All the men he saw on duty before have left their desks and are now chatting cheerfully in the next room. He turns to head back out into the hall. He sees a soldier coming out of the basement with a tray full of plates and mugs. Outside. Galt turns back from speaking to the dispatch rider, and realises Foyle has disappeared. He hurries back towards the house. Galt: McDonald. Foyle! McDonald follows him in. Foyle is still standing in the hallway. Galt: Mr Foyle. Foyle: Ah, there you are! Beg your pardon. Forgot the hat. He holds up his hat, which he's had in his hand the whole time. Galt: Ah. This way please. Foyle: Yes, of course. Thank you, very enlightening. Later. Sam and Foyle are driving back from the building. Foyle: Well, there's something going on in the cellar that wasn't part of the tour. And the activity in the transcript room was clearly for my benefit. Sam: Yes. There is something odd about the place. Did you see any women about? Foyle: No. Sam: I found this. She shows him the bow. Foyle: What's that? Sam: It's the bow from a pair of coupon busters. He takes it from her. Foyle: What are they? Sam: Shoes. All the girls are wearing them. Yet not a woman in sight. Foyle: Incidentally, 'ten eye' turns out to be 'tin eye' and is the name given to a man with a monocle. Sam: Hmm. Foyle: Let Charlotte know, would you? Sam: Of course. Mrs Green's house. She leads Adam, Sam and Foyle inside. Adam: This is Mr Foyle and his assistant. They, they used to work for the police. Mrs Green shakes hands with them both. Foyle: How do you do? Mrs Green: Hello. Do, do sit down. Foyle: We hoped you wouldn't mind, er, telling us a bit about your daughter? Mrs Green: Look, I already told the police everything. Foyle: Well, just to make sure they haven't missed anything. Is that all right? She's how old? Mrs Green: 27, three weeks ago. Foyle: And she's working at...? Mrs Green: Leyton's, the haberdashers. She's been there about a year. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Sam: Not the Foreign Office? Mrs Green: Foreign Office? She looks at Adam in confusion. Foyle: Might there be a photograph of her we could take a look at? She gets up and picks up a framed photo from the mantelpiece. Mrs Green: This was taken on her birthday. Foyle looks at the photograph. Foyle: New shoes? Mrs Green: That's right. She got them for her birthday. Coupon busters, she so wanted them. She was wearing them when she went missing. There's the sound of the door and her grandson, Mikey, and his sister run into the room. Mikey: Nana! Look. He's holding a toy bow and arrow. Mrs Green: Ah! That's lovely! The children's parents walk past in the hall. Girl: Bye, Daddy! Mikey: We sht a bow and arrow in the garden. Mrs Green: Did you, Mikey? Sam and Foyle head back out into the hallway. Foyle: So, what do you think? Sam: There are two Evelyn Greens. One of them's at Barton Hall. Where's the other one? Foyle: East Berlin. He opens the door and holds it for Sam. Sam: But what possible reason could there be for this Evelyn Green to be at Barton Hall? He follows her out. Foyle: Yup. MI5 building, reception area. There's a buzz of activity. The receptionist is on the phone. Receptionist: Because there's far too much to do. Upstairs. Foyle walks along the hallway towards Valentine's office. Valentine (offscreen): I'm not asking you to do anything very difficult. So just do it! Man (offscreen): Yes sir! The man leaves and Foyle walks in. Valentine is standing by the window, rubbing his forehead. Foyle: Problem? Valentine: Bloody Foreign Office. Can I help you? He heads back to his desk. Foyle: Well, how nice that would be. Galt. Lieutenant Colonel Harry Galt. Dealings with him? Valentine: Not personally, no. Foyle: What can you tell me? Valentine: Mmm, not known for his easy-going charm, I hear. Foyle: What is he known for? Valentine: Oh, erm, Far East, section five. Counter-espionage. A very effective officer by all accounts. Foyle: So, wasted at a Y-station, would you say? Valentine: Yes, I suppose he is. He picks up his pen and turns back to his work. Foyle: Ah. That's as helpful as you get, is it? He moves to leave. Valentine: Oh, would you mind closing the door? Foyle closes it behind him. Valentine sighs and takes a drag on his cigarette, rubbing his forehead again. Outside. Daniel Willis meets with Foyle next to his parked car. Foyle: Thanks for coming. Willis: A pleasure. I'm not sure if this is still part of the interview. Foyle: Unfortunately not. It didn't go your way I'm afraid. The service doesn't appear to be ready for you yet. Willis: I'd hoped I'd done enough. Foyle: Well, little to do with you, er, apart from not going to the right school, perhaps. Willis: Then why am I here? Foyle: There's a job I can offer you, er, which you'd be perfectly entitled to refuse. It'd be off the record and regrettably off the payroll. Willis: I'm happy to help the service. Foyle: Well, you should hear what I'm asking you to do first. He leads Willis to his car. Foyle: Get in the back. They both get in. Foyle: It's perhaps a combination of, er, information gathering and salvage operation. He gives Willis the photo of Evelyn Green. Foyle: With not a bridge in sight, you'll be pleased to hear. Willis: Is she the incentive? Foyle brings out a set of blueprints. Foyle: She is the salvage. Her name is Evelyn Green. I think she's being held at this place, Barton Hall. Ross house, basement lab. Katrin leads Foyle into the room. Katrin: When Ian got back from the car accident he came straight down here and started working. The only thing on his mind was some blood tests he wanted to check. He conducted experiments here for his research. So disorganised. I tried to help him to sort out this mess, but he liked it this way. Foyle: What are these? He gestures to a glass specimen case. Katrin: Oh, tick, er, ticks. Tick bites, insect bites, part of his study into infectious diseases. He plans... planned to specialise. Sitting room. Foyle sits on the sofa while Katrin pours a cup of tea. Foyle: What do you think you'll do now? Katrin: I was going to apply for British Nationality once we were married, but they have told me I must go back to Germany. As she gives Foyle his cup of tea he sees the number on her arm. She withdraws her arm and covers it, sitting down in an armchair. Foyle: And you'd be unlikely to want to do that? Katrin: Yes. Foyle: You survived. Katrin: I did. The rest of my family did not. I survived. And now there are people in our home and they won't leave. It has happened to so many Jews. They thought their troubles would be over when they opened the gates to Belsen and Dachau, but they were just beginning. What if it happens again? If Stalin has his way, it could. Foyle: Might be possible to get you authorisation to stay. Katrin: I don't have the proper papers. I don't even have my birth certificate. It's hopeless. Officially I do not exist. The more I think about it, it is possible Ian took his own life. He was deported for some articles he wrote criticising Das Dritte Reich. And when I went to Auschwitz, he blamed himself. He kept asking me what it was like there. I couldn't tell him what I saw. He was too fragile for that. How could he do it? How could he leave me? DS Jones's office. He's at work at his office when the telephone rings. Jones: DS Jones? Foyle (over phone): Foyle here. We met at Doctor Ross' house. Jones: Mr Foyle. Foyle (over phone): Yes. Cut to Foyle in his office at MI5. Foyle: I wondered if you'd be able to help with some information about a car accident about five days ago, possible military vehicle? Woods near Barton Hall. The grey car with the damaged front wing is driving along. Foyle, parked behind a tree in a layby, starts to follow it. A different hospital in a built-up area. McDonald walks through the gates of the car park, heading back to the grey car. Foyle gets out of his own car where he's parked next to it, and approaches him. Foyle: Is that still giving you trouble? McDonald: I beg your pardon? Foyle: Your wrist. I spotted it was bothering you the last time we met. McDonald: It's a tick bite, I think. Damn thing's infected. How do you know about this? Foyle: Well, I understand you were involved in a bit of a car accident the other night? McDonald: That's right. I'm not used to these country roads. I had a dizzy turn and before I knew it I ended up in a ditch. Foyle: And you- McDonald: I'm sorry, I have a meeting. Is there anything else I can help you with? Foyle: Well, I sincerely hope so. I've come to give you another opportunity to tell me the truth. McDonald: I'm sorry? Foyle: The Russian's last words were "Tin Eye". Colonel Galt is known as Tin Eye, correct? McDonald: He is. Foyle: So he knew exactly who Galt was and quite obviously spent time at Barton Hall. You denied this. Later. The two of them are walking along together. McDonald: You must understand. This can't go any further. Foyle: Of course. McDonald: We discovered this Russian trying to break in. Colonel Galt assumed he was spying and had him detained. Personally I thought he was just looking for food. Foyle: And what about his wounds? McDonald: Galt is an exceptional CO, but he was quite paranoid about this man. He suspected he might be a spy and allowed some of the men to get carried away while they were questioning him. Personally, I didn't think he was a spy. He claimed to be a refugee. I believed him. There must be hundreds like him who defected at the end of the wr. Anyway, when this Russian realised that Galt didn't believe him... he thought he was going to be deported and sent back to Russia. That seemed to be the last straw. He got hold of a Knfe and tried to kll himself. We were taking him to a military hospital when he made a run for it. Foyle: And you didn't tell me any of this before because...? McDonald: We can't attract attention to ourselves. Foyle: What's his name? McDonald: Palenko. I think that's what he said. MI5 reception area. A dispatch rider enters the building just as Sam is coming down the stairs. She stops on the staircase to watch him as he takes his helmet off. It's the man who winked at her at Barton Hall. He goes to give a file to the receptionist, then pretends to snatch it back. Dispatch Rider: D'you wanna sign for it? They both laugh. Dispatch Rider: Sorry. He sits down opposite her and she starts chatting to him as if they're old friends. Sam turns to continue down the stairs. Receptionist (offscreen): You know Mr Valentine works very hard. Dispatch Rider (offscreen): I know. Sam pauses for a moment at the bottom of the stairs, watching the two of them, then heads on through into the typing pool. Foyle follows her in. Foyle: Sam. Sam: Sir. Foyle: I need you to get me the file on Lieutenant Colonel Harry Galt. Leave it in my office, would- He moves to leave again and she stops him with a hand on his shoulder. Sam: Er, I don't know if this is important or not, but I just saw the dispatch rider from Barton Hall here. Foyle: Right. Hmm. He leaves. From her desk behind them, Charlotte watches him go. Then she picks up the phone and dials. Outside Barton Hall, night. Daniel Willis, dressed in black with a bag over his shoulder creeps up to the outer wall and watches as a car is let in through the gates. Soldier: Good evening, sergeant. Soldier 2: Evening, sir. Willis sneaks on along the outside of the wall. He cuts a section of barbed wire so he can climb inside. He runs across the grounds to take cover behind the DF hut. By the main building two soldiers are on duty. McDonald comes up to them as one is lighting his cigarette. McDonald: Who's got the lighter? Soldier: I have, sir. McDonald: What's that? There's a flickering light visible in the woods outside the wall. McDonald: Let's take a look. Willis watches as the three of them head off towards the light. Then he shines his torch onto the set of blueprints. A tunnel in the sab yard is marked. He looks around, then dashes towards the main building. Woods outside Barton Hall. McDonald and the two soldiers make their way through the trees. Tunnel. Willis makes his way along the dark, empty tunnel, shining his torch back to check for any pursuit. Woods. McDonald and the others are still searching. Tunnel. The sound of discordant, tinkly music can be heard up ahead. Willis reaches a door through into a lit-up area and sees a record on a turntable. He picks the lock. On the other side of the door, a soldier drags a prisoner with cuffed hands into the corridor and forces him up against a wall. Willis takes photos through the windows with a miniature camera. The soldier puts a pstol against the back of the prisoner's head and pulls the trigger. It clicks, empty. The prisoner sobs and sags to the ground as the soldier laughs. Willis takes more photos. Soldier: Up. He shoves the prisoner through a door, and Willis takes his chance to enter the detention area. He flattens himself against a wall. Woods. McDonald and the two soldiers run into a clearing. They see the source of the moving light, a battery-powered light hung from a branch so that it swings back and forth. McDonald: Oh, Lord! Get back! Get back, quickly! They start to run back through the woods. Basement. Willis sneaks up on the soldier as he comes back out, and whacks him over the back of the head. He lays him down on the ground, and takes the needle off the record. In the silence, he hears Evelyn sobbing. He grabs the set of keys the soldier left and hurries to open her cell. As he opens the door, she huddles back into the corner on the bed and screams. Willis raises a finger to his lips and crouches beside her. Willis: Calm down! Evelyn, isn't it? Let's get you out of here, shall we? She takes his hand and he leads her out towards the door that he came through. Willis: Come on. Staircase. Galt looks down the basement stairs, then starts hurrying down. Tunnel. Willis leads Evelyn through the door out of the detention area and they run off along the tunnel. Basement. Galt notices the unconscious soldier and then hurries to check on Evelyn's open cell. Galt: Guard! Guard! He runs back along the corridor to set off an alarm. Grounds. McDonald and the two soldiers run back past the DF hut as the alarms start wailing. Down in the tunnel, Willis and Evelyn are still running. Grounds. McDonald and the soldiers reach the main building as Galt is just directing more soldiers to start the search. Galt: The girl's gone! Zone one! You two, zone two! McDonald: What happened? Galt: She's gone. McDonald: How? Galt: She must have got out through the tunnel. Willis and Evelyn run from the cover of the DF hut towards the trees. One of the soldiers spots them. Soldier: Sir! Over here! Galt: There they are! Get after them! He hands a pstol to McDonald, who heads after the escapees. McDonald (offscreen): Come on, come on. Move it! Galt jumps into a Jeep. Galt: Main gate! Woods. Willis and Evelyn run through the trees. Willis: Come on. McDonald (offscreen): After them! Faster. Willis: Through here. He pulls Evelyn with him through the trees and she cries out. He stops amid the trees as the searchers draw near. Willis: Wait! Then he starts moving again. Willis: Let's go! Come on. McDonald: They're back on the path! Go, go, go! Keep going, men! Willis: This way. He and Evelyn reach a car parked under the trees. Willis: Get in! Soldier: Off to the left, there's a car! The car drives away just as McDonald's group of soldiers burst out of the trees behind it. There are a few gn as it drives away. McDonald: Leave it! Hold your fre! He stands panting, out of breath. Library. Galt takes a drink and gestures at McDonald. Galt: How did this happen? McDonald: With all due respect, sir, my expertise lies in interrogation, not security. In any case, it wasn't our decision to bring the girl here. Galt: If she talks, we've had it. Whole operation up in smoke. God, I wish I was back in Malaya. Flashback. Evelyn Green leaves her mother's house. Evelyn: Bye, Mum! Evelyn (voiceover): We live in a bmb-out house in West Peckham. My mum, my sister and her family. As she walks along the street, a man standing smoking steps into her path. Evelyn (voiceover): Anyway, it was Sunday morning and I was on my way to church. A car drives slowly along beside her. Evelyn (voiceover): They was waiting for me. "Are you Evelyn Green?" they asked. As the man moves to intercept her, another gets out of the car. They grab her and shove her inside it. Wainwright house. Evelyn is telling her story to Adam, Sam, Foyle and Willis. Evelyn: And then bundled me into a car. Adam gives her a cup of tea. Evelyn: Thank you. They looked at my identity card, then drove me to this big house in the country, surrounded by soldiers. They wouldn't answer any of my questions. They just took me to the basement, put me in a cell. I knew there'd been some kind of mix-up. So did they. I could hear people arguing about me. But then the music started, and it didn't stop. Even so, I could still hear men screaming. Foyle: See any of them? Flashback to Evelyn in her cell, poking a nail file into a slit in the door. Evelyn: There was a crack in my wooden door. I made it bigger with a nail file so I could see out. I wanted to know what was going on, what kind of place it was. Cut back to the present. Evelyn: There were guards in uniform coming and going. And then, later that night... Flashback to Evelyn peering through the crack. A man's voice shouts something in Russian. Evelyn (voiceover): I heard this man, shouting, in Russian I think it was. He was one or two cells down. And then... A man passes in front of the crack that Evelyn's looking through. Evelyn (voiceover): I saw a man in a bloody shirt stagger past my door. Evelyn draws back and lays her head against the cell door, breathing shakily. Cut back to the present. Evelyn: And he was followed a moment later by another man in uniform, but he wasn't a guard. Foyle: Would you recognise him? Evelyn: No. I didn't really see their faces. Foyle nods. Later. Willis walks into the kitchen with Foyle. Willis: It appears to be a psychological interrogation unit. Officially they don't exist. During the wr they concealed prisoners from the Red Cross and questioned them using whatever methods they deemed appropriate. They'll be deprived of sleep, starved of food, mock executions, that type of thing. Adam (offscreen): If you need anything... Willis: The girl must be a mistake. Foyle looks through the hatchway into the main room, where Sam and Adam are just leading Evelyn out of the room. Willis: Can't see any other reason why she'd be taken. He gives Foyle a set of keys and the miniature camera. Foyle: Thank you. Willis nods and leaves through the back door. Guest bedroom. Sam is just turning down the bed. Evelyn is now wearing a robe. Sam: I've put a hot water bottle in here for you. Evelyn: Thank you. So, do you think it'll be safer if I stay here for a few days? Sam: Yes, I do. Hallway. Adam is just seeing Foyle out. Adam: Thank you. Foyle: Goodnight. He leaves, and Adam closes the door behind him. Sam comes out into the hall. Sam: We need to let Mrs Green know she's here first thing in the morning. No one else. If... um, when you get elected, you need to do something about this. Adam: I don't know if I can. Not if it's anything to do with the Official Secrets Act. There is one thing we need to do before I'm elected. Sam: Oh, yes? Adam: Vote. It's polling day tomorrow. Sam: Oh, Adam, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot. They smile at each other and she takes him by the hand to pull him after her. MI5 building. Foyle is walking through the reception area. Man: Thanks very much. Secretary: Yes, sir. Charlotte walks in as he reaches the foot of the stairs. Charlotte: Morning, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Morning. Charlotte: That file you requested, Colonel Galt? Foyle: Oh, yes? Charlotte: I'm afraid it's restricted. Section Chiefs only. She walks ahead, and Foyle heads on up the stairs. Valentine's office. He's at work at his desk, and looks up as the door opens. Foyle walks in. Foyle: Arthur. What is it you don't want me to find? Valentine: I beg your pardon? Foyle: Restricted files for Section Chiefs only? It's beginning to feel like an investigation being obstructed. Valentine: I've got better things to do than that. Foyle: What are you hiding? Valentine sets his pen down and sits back. Foyle sits down opposite him. Foyle: Do I need to remind you how much you can trust me? Valentine: Between you and me, I'm in a bit of hole. We were tipped off that there was a, a mole in the Foreign Office, passing information onto the Soviets and I was asked to bring her in. I was given her name, Evelyn Green, and her address on a pink chit, so I picked her up, passed her on. Only to discover that we'd got the wrong woman. A completely innocent Evelyn Green. I don't understand it. I was given her name and address on a pink chit. So it was only partly my fault. Meyerson, he's going to want a scapegoat and it looks like it's gonna be me. Foyle: When did you find out you'd made the mistake? Valentine: When the real Evelyn Greene turned up in East Berlin. Foyle: Where did the pink chit come from? Valentine: Barton Hall. Foyle: Between you and me, I think it'll help if you let me take a look at these files. Valentine: All right. He takes a pair of files out of a drawer and hands them across to Foyle. Foyle: Thank you. He takes a look at the folders. Foyle: These only go back to '38? Valentine: How far do you want to go back? Foyle: Well, how about the beginning? Street outside the Wainwright house. Mrs Green makes her way to the house and knocks on the front door. Sam opens it. Sam: Mrs Green. Hello! Evelyn steps up behind her. Evelyn: Mum! The two of them embrace, laughing and sobbing. Mrs Green: Oh! She turns to Sam. Mrs Green: Thank you. Thank you. Evelyn: Thank you. Later. Sam is pinning a rosette on Adam's jacket while Glenvil drinks tea in the background. Adam: Wish me luck. Sam: Good luck. Got your speech? Adam: Yep. He speaks to Evelyn, who's sitting in one of the armchairs. Adam: Remember not to answer the door to anyone apart from us. Glenvil. Glenvil: Indeed. The three of them head out, leaving Evelyn behind. Barton Hall. A Jeep drives towards the gate and Galt gets out. He approaches Foyle where he's parked outside the barrier. Galt: Foyle. We've had a security breach. I'm afraid you'll have to leave immediately. Foyle: Can't wait. One or two questions before I do. Galt: You're not listening. Foyle: Well, technically, neither are you. This isn't a Y station, it's an interrogation centre, in which at least one person has been mrder. So, one or two questions. Galt gestures for the guards to raise the barrier. Galt gets back into the Jeep, which backs up, allowing Foyle to drive in. Later. Galt and Foyle stand in the library. Galt: We're developing new interrogation techniques. The intelligence we extract is passed directly to MI5. You see, volence can often result in the wrong answers. A good interrogator seeks the truth, without resorting to brutality. Foyle: A technique, er, not applied in Palenko's case, it would seem? Galt: Palenko was rounded up in a general sweep. He had no identification. We suspected him of being a Russian spy and went to work on him. He cracked and tried to take his own life. Foyle: The man, er, Ross saw following Palenko to the hospital the night he died, would that have been you by any chance? Galt straightens his jacket and goes over to dial the phone on the desk. Galt: You don't have the authority to question me or anyone else at Barton Hall. A soldier opens the door. Soldier: Sir? Galt: Escort Mr Foyle out. Foyle moves to leave. Galt: It is your duty to leave here and never speak of this again. Foyle: Well, our ideas of duty obviously differ quite considerably. he walks out. Polling station. Glenvil stands outside with a clipboard. Adam walks over to join him as a man gets out of a car to head inside. Glenvil: Good afternoon, sir. Man: Good afternoon. A woman comes out of the front gate. Glenvil: Excuse me, would you mind telling me who you voted for? She holds up a hand. Woman: Er, no. Adam: How's it... He breaks off to smile at another woman heading in. Adam: Good afternoon. He turns back to Glenvil. Adam: How's it looking? Glenvil: It's close. But, er... this helped. He shows Adam a newspaper. Adam unfolds it to see the front page headline reads CONSERVATIVE CANDIDATE TRADES ON BLACK MARKET. Adam: Please tell me this wasn't you? Glenvil turns away to intercept another voter. Glenvil: Er, excuse me, would you mind telling me who you voted for, please? Ross house. Katrin leads Foyle inside. Foyle: Mrs Ross. I'm not at all sure how much comfort this will be to you, but your husband didn't kll himself. Katrin: He didn't? Foyle: No. Katrin: Oh. Foyle: When he returned home after the car accident, you mentioned he was eager to check some blood samples, am I right? Katrin: Yes. Foyle: Were these samples taken at the accident? Katrin: I believe so, yes. Foyle: Where might we find these? Katrin: Please. She gestures for him to follow her. Basement lab. Katrin looks through a microscope at a blood sample. Katrin: This must have been what he was last working on. Yes, this is the blood sample, and, er, this must be the result. She hands Foyle a sheet of paper. He tries to read the writing, then shows it to her. Foyle: What does that say? Katrin: Er, someone suffering from tick-borne encephalitis. Fatal without treatment. I saw a lot of it in the camp. MI5 building. As Foyle walks through the reception area, Charlotte hurries out of a door behind him. Charlotte: Sir? Foyle: Yes. Charlotte: Gait's file's on your desk. Thank you. I'd like James McDonald's as well. Would that be a problem? Charlotte: Not at all. Foyle: Good, thank you. Sir Alec's office. He and Valentine are at the table while Pierce stands in front of it with Galt. Sir Alec: Absolutely nothing to do with us! Galt: Too much of a coincidence to ignore. The man's given carte blanche to wander all over the place, and within 48 hours there's a major security breach. Sir Alec: If that's the case, it was done without the knowledge or authorisation of this office. Galt: What's more, he turned up again this morning! Nerve of the man! Sir Alec: And the wrong girl, why haven't I been told about that? Pierce: I've only just heard about her myself. You're not suggesting that Foyle broke in? Galt: Of course not! Valentine: Then who? Galt: Unidentified, but you can bet your boots he's connected to Foyle. Sir Alec: Well, how much does Foyle know about the place? Galt: More than he should. Sir Alec: And whose fault is that? Galt: Well, I didn't invite the blighter in! All right, I accept there may have been mistakes. Valentine: I take my share of the blame, sir. The door opens. Charlotte (offscreen): Sir? Sir Alec: I asked not to be disturbed! Foyle comes through the door behind Charlotte, holding a stack of files. Charlotte: Mr Foyle is- Foyle: I do beg your pardon. Sorry to interrupt. He spots Galt. Foyle: Colonel. Sir Alec (offscreen): Thank you, Charlotte. She leaves. Sir Alec: Foyle, come in. You do have some questions to answer. Foyle: Well, that'll make a change. Sir Alec: The break-in at Barton Hall. How much do you know about it? Foyle: Oh, only what I heard this morning. Sir Alec: A girl's gone missing. Foyle: Another one? Galt: This is important, man. Sir Alec: And we have reason to believe you know where she is. Galt: She's in possession of confidential information. If it gets out, our entire work could be fatally undermined. Foyle: It already has been. Galt: Explain yourself. Foyle: At some point recently, was McDonald absent from the unit? Galt: I said, explain yourself. I'm sick and tired of your damn questions! Foyle: Well, occupational hazard, colonel. Would that be correct? Galt: Yes, I gave him 48 hours' leave after the Russian was interrogated. Why? Foyle: And were you both present at that interrogation? Galt: Yes. McDonald translated. Foyle: Well, you won't be pleased to learn that he's been responsible for undermining your unit for some considerable time. He approaches the table with his stack of folders. Galt puts his monocle in. Galt: James McDonald? Foyle: The Russian even made a dying attempt to warn you... "Tin Eye". This is McDonald's file. He sets it down on the table. Foyle: Does no one ever read these things? As he steps away, Galt, Valentine and Pierce crowd in to look at it. On top is a photo of the members of a Cambridge University debating society, which includes both McDonald and Evelyn Greene. West Peckham Town Hall. Glenvil and Adam stand on the steps as ballot boxes are carried into the building. Sam hurries up the steps to join them. Sam: What's the news? Glenvil: It's neck and neck according to my own poll. Adam: Not much we can do now. Sam: Well, that's good, isn't it? Barton Hall. Galt heads into the building, followed by Foyle and a soldier with a rfle. They head up the stairs. McDonald's room. Galt throws the door open, and McDonald grabs a revolver from a table to aim at them. He's sitting in an armchair, looking ill. A half-packed suitcase lies on the bed. McDonald: Colonel Galt. Mr Foyle. D'you mind if I don't get up? I'm not feeling too dandy at the moment. Can't seem to shake this bug off. Foyle: Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you Major McDonald, but you're unlikely to feel dandy ever again. He turns to the soldier holding his rfle on McDonald. Foyle: Get an ambulance. Galt gives the soldier a nod and he moves to obey. Foyle closes the door. McDonald: I don't understand. Foyle: I do. You have a condition called encephalitis, contracted through your tick-bite. It attcks the central nervous system and is fatal without treatment. Your infection has gone untreated because the person who made the diagnosis and the only person in the position to be able to treat you, is the person you mrder. Doctor Ian Ross. You klled him in the belief that he'd recognised you at the car accident. He hadn't. What he did recognise was the condition, as a result of the blood samples he took and that the condition cannot be contracted in this country. It is common, however, in parts of Europe. East Berlin for example, which is where you were infected, while escorting Evelyn Green into the Russian Zone. You two were at Cambridge together, weren't you? McDonald is silent. Foyle: Well, I have all the time in the world. McDonald pants for breath. McDonald: We met at the debating society. I was a postgraduate, she was younger. Highly intelligent... and beautiful. I've never seen anyone so beautiful. We're kindred spirits. We were both sickened by the class system. The snobbery, the hypocrisy, the greed. We've been lovers - and comrades - ever since. Palenko deserved to die. He betrayed the cause. Flashback to Palenko's interrogation. Water pours onto the ground from where Palenko lies strapped down with a towel over his face. Galt and McDonald watch, then move away him. Galt: Now we're getting somewhere. Find out who she is. Palenko pulls the towel off of his face. McDonald questions him in Russian and Palenko responds in the same language, finally ending with: Palenko: Evelyn Greene. Galt: Evelyn Greene? Where? McDonald asks another question and Palenko replies. McDonald translates for Galt. McDonald: Foreign Office. Galt: Right. Upstairs. McDonald follows Galt away from the basement stairs. McDonald: I don't trust him. He'll say anything. He could be a Trojan horse for all we know. Galt: I agree. All the same, we should inform MI5 about this woman in the Foreign Office. McDonald: But shouldn't we verify his story before we accuse someone of being a spy? Galt: We have no choice. They need to pick her up immediately. Do it. McDonald: Sir? Galt: Something the matter? McDonald: As a matter of fact there is, sir. It's my sister's husband, there's been a dreadful accident. She's not coping very well. I was wondering if I...? Galt: Palenko's not going anywhere. How much time do you need? McDonald: 48 hours. Galt: 48 hours, then. McDonald: Thank you, sir. Cut back to the present. McDonald: I gave MI5 details of another Evelyn Green at a different address. Then I made a phone call. Flashback to McDonald making the call from a phone box. Evelyn Greene (over phone): Kensington 3487? McDonald: Is your bag packed? Greene house. McDonald (over phone): Evelyn? Evelyn Greene: Yes. McDonald (over phone): Get out now. Meet me at Paddington Station. Evelyn takes her passport and suitcase and leaves the house. Cut back to the present. McDonald: Evelyn had an interzone ID card. We'd prepared one for just such an event. Foyle: What about Palenko? McDonald: I was ordered to return and silence him. Flashback to Palenko lying in his cell, the discordant music playing in the background. McDonald enters the room. He sets his keys down on a table and goes over to Palenko, freeing his arms so he can start making cuts on his forearm with a Knfe. Palenko suddenly struggles against him and headbutts him in the face. McDonald falls onto the bed and Palenko rushes past him towards the cell door, grabbing the keys on the way. He bursts out into the corridor, yelling in Russian. McDonald follows. Outside the cell, Palenko, still shouting in Russian, makes it to the door onto the tunnel and unlocks it. He almost collapses as he lurches through it, leaving a bloody handprint behind. He runs along the tunnel and McDonald chases him. McDonald (voiceover): I knew that he couldn't speak English. Cut back to the present. McDonald: But I had to be sure. Flashback to outside the hospital. McDonald (voiceover): I chased him to the hospital. How he ever managed to get there, I... Inside. McDonald is outside the door as Ross takes Palenko's pulse. McDonald (voiceover): I heard Ross pronounce him dad. Ross: He's gone. At a noise from outside, Ross turns to look. He comes to the doorway as McDonald hurries away. McDonald (voiceover): I thought he might have seen me, might have been able to identify me. Cut back to the present. McDonald's grip on his revolver is beginning to slacken. McDonald: All my life, I've believed that Communism will prevail. One state, one mind, all equal. I've sacrificed everything for the cause, everything. He sets the revolver down and lets go of it. McDonald: And I won't live to see it. But it will come. Galt approaches him. Galt: Contemptible. McDonald is wheezing heavily. Foyle leaves the room and starts heading down the stairs. Halfway down, he hears gn from behind him. He pauses for a moment as two soldiers go running up the stairs past him. Then he turns and continues walking down. West Peckham Town Hall. Glenvil is listening tensely outside the doors as the results are called. Official (offscreen): Thurston, Conservative - six thousand, three hundred and twenty-two. Watt, Liberal - five thousand two hundred and fifty-one. Wainwright, Labour. Six thousand, four hundred... Glenvil: Yes! Official (offscreen): ...and forty-eight! There are cheers and a group of people rush out through the doors. Glenvil intercepts Adam as he comes out, and a photographer takes a photo of the two of them. Then Sam grabs Adam and drags him off into a back corridor with her. Adam: Sam, what are you doing? Sam: This. She kisses him. Adam: Sam, I've got to make a speech. Sam: So do I. Adam Wainwright. You're going to be the best member of parliament Peckham's ever seen. I'm so bloody proud of you. Adam: I couldn't have done it without you. Sam: That's just not true. Glenvil comes out to join them. Glenvil: Adam, sorry, speech! He slaps Adam on the back and Adam follows him out. Adam: Come on. Sam lingers in the hallway a moment before following. Sir Alec's office. He leads Foyle inside. Sir Alec: What's happened to the girl? Foyle: Er, back with her family. Sir Alec: Will she talk? Foyle: She'd sooner forget the whole thing, I think. Sir Alec: Can't say I blame her. The man who got her out, I take it that was your doing? Yeah. He certainly proved himself quite useful. Maybe we should encourage him to apply. Foyle: I'll see what I can do. Sir Alec: Take a seat, Mr Foyle. He heads over to sit on the sofa, and Foyle takes the armchair opposite. Sir Alec: I can't close Barton Hall, if that's what you're thinking. Foyle: It doesn't bother you how the intelligence that arrives on your desk is obtained? Sir Alec: No, of course it does. But if you think the Soviets aren't using the same or worse methods, you're wrong. Foyle: Well, I'm aware of what they do, it's what we do that's the issue. Sir Alec: But it's intelligence that has saved many of our agents' lives. I have to see both sides of the coin. That's my job. But listen to me. Pierce is first-class, but you have something I need, and I don't mean your inability to tow the line. It's just that in this rather nasty little w*r we seem to be fighting, I'd like to think that I have you on my side. And it might just be that working together, we could do some good. Foyle: We could start with Mrs Ross, perhaps? Sir Alec: Yes? Ross house. Katrin walks into the sitting room with a stack of letters. She opens the first envelope, and sees it's a letter from the Home Office granting her permission to stay.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "08x02 - The Cage"}	foreverdreaming
University lecture room. Karl Strasser switches to a new slide on the slide projector. Strasser: Rembrandt died on the 4th of October 1669. And in his last self-portraits... The slide shows a Rembrandt self-portrait. Strasser: I think you see a sense of calm and of resignation. He had known so much turmoil and personal unhappiness. He walks through his group of students to the front of the class. Strasser: But at the end he found an acceptance. It was, perhaps, a triumph of art over life. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. We will be visiting Kenwood House on Tuesday. There are still places left. So please let me know if you wish to come. University library. Strasser is walking along the central aisle. One of the students chases after him. Student: Professor Van Haaren. My dissertation. I was wondering if- Strasser: The portrait of Jan Six? Student: Yes. Strasser: I'm halfway. Some interesting insights. We'll talk next week. Student: Thank you. He walks on. Street. Thomas Nelson is carrying a bag of shopping past the university campus. He climbs a set of steps, limping heavily. Gateway. Strasser emerges from the university grounds. Across the street, Nelson spots him. He stops and stares. Flashback. Sunlight in a field of sunflowers. A distant scream. Nelson hurries through the sunflowers. Present. Nelson stares at Strasser. He drops his shopping. Nelson: No. No, no, no, no, no. He crosses the street, following Strasser. As Strasser walks out into the road, Nelson single-mindedly follows him out, and is knocked down by a car as it screeches to a halt. Strasser walks on as the driver and a few other bystanders check on Nelson, lying in the road. Man: You all right? Nelson groans as the man helps him up. Man: Come on. Driver: You all right? Man: How are you? Nelson rubs the back of his head. Nelson: I'm fine. No bones broken. Man: Are you sure, really? Nelson: Thank you. Man: All right. Take it easy. Nelson: Thank you. Sorry. He hurries on after Strasser. Flashback. Nelson stumbling through the sunflowers. A glimpse of an SS cap. OPENING CREDITS MI5 building. There's the sound of a knock. Sir Alec (voiceover): Come in, Foyle. Foyle walks in to Sir Alec's office, where he sits behind the desk. Sir Alec: I'm in a quandary. I don't much like it and I doubt you will either, but I inherited it and there's not much I can do about it. It needs tact. Pieter Van Haaren. He gestures towards a file folder lying on the table. Sir Alec: Dutch, educated at the University of Leiden. Expert in Dutch art, particularly Rubens and Rembrandt, now a lecturer in London. That's the cover. Foyle: And the reality? Sir Alec: Karl Strasser. nzi. Foyle opens the file and sees Strasser's picture. Sir Alec: SS Brigadefuhrer Karl Strasser was a desk soldier in SS Foreign Intelligence. He comes over and sits at the table opposite Foyle. Sir Alec: Arrested in Denmark at the end of the wr. Since then, he's been an extremely valuable intelligence asset with an almost unrivalled knowledge of Soviet spy networks. It's in the file. Foyle: Mm-hmm. He sits down. Sir Alec: He believes that he's in danger. Says someone is planning to kll him. Foyle: Well, as a nzi officer in post-wr Britain, is he surprised? Sir Alec: Oh, up to now, his cover's held. He lives in a boarding house, privately owned but controlled by us. In fact, his entire life is carefully regulated. But he keeps his head down, and as far as we can tell, no one even suspects that he's German. Foyle: So? Sir Alec: Read the file. Meet him. Assess the situation, let me know what you think. It would be annoying to have to move him and change his name, but if there really is any danger, we can't afford to lose him. Foyle: I see. They stand up and Foyle takes the file. Sir Alec: And don't let your personal feelings get in the way. He was, after all, a senior German officer. You may not like him. Foyle: You may be right. Sir Alec: Indeed. Unfortunately, we need him. Foyle goes to leave. Mrs Jones (voiceover): They're smoking fg. They're rude. Adam is meeting with constituents at a table in his office, while Glenvil Harris stands behind him and a secretary works at a smaller desk. Mrs Jones: Half of them don't even go to school and nobody's doing anything about it. Adam: Well, that's, that's not quite true, Mrs Jones. Er, we've looked into this and the report by Dame Myra Curtis will be published very soon. Mrs Jones: It's all very well you having reports. But I don't feel safe going out of the house. Adam: Well, I'll talk to the police and we'll see if we can get some more officers on the bat. He stands up. Mrs Jones: Ah. She stands up too. Mrs Jones: The trouble is, nobody has any respect anymore. Adam: Well, I'll, I'll see what I can do. The secretary gets up to escort Jones out. Secretary: This way, Mrs Jones. Mrs Jones: Thank you, dear. The two women leave. Adam: Can we talk to the superintendent? Glenvil: I'll make a note, but, er, she was complaining about the police last week, so, er... Adam: Is there anyone else? Glenvil: One more. He's not a constituent, though, so you don't have to see him. Geoffrey Helliwell. He's come up from Devizes. Adam: Wiltshire? Glenvil: I know. Bit of a hike. Adam: Well, show him in. Glenvil goes over to open the door. Geoffrey Helliwell comes in with a file folder. Adam: Mr Helliwell, has somebody offered you some tea? Helliwell: I don't want tea, thank you all the same. Adam: Then how can I help you? Helliwell: I want back what is mine. He starts taking documents out of the folder. Later. Helliwell is sitting across from Adam at the table. Helliwell: There was a compulsory purchase order in 1938. The farmhouse, the land, the whole works. The RAF needed it, a thousand acres for bmb practice. Adam: Well, it was the wr. Helliwell: I didn't argue. I was glad to do my bit. But I made it very clear. It was only for the duration, then I'd buy it back. That's what we agreed. Adam: I wrote to you, Mr Helliwell. As I understand it, the land had risen in value. Helliwell: Doubled in value. In eight years? That's not possible. Adam: There must have been an independent valuation. Helliwell: Well, just how independent was it? That's what I want to know. Your a minister, Mr Roper, won't tell me. Why is he hiding behind you? Glenvil: You need to understand, this is a local surgery for issues relating to West Peckham. Helliwell: That's what they all say. "Not my business!" He stands up and starts packing his papers away. Adam: Mr Helliwell. Where are you staying? Helliwell: Kensington. Maythorpe Hotel. Adam: I'll talk to Mr Roper. I'm sure it's more straightforward than you think. Helliwell: You lot think you can get away with this, but let me tell you, I know there's something dirty going on. I can smell it. He leaves. Doctor Phillips' office. Phillips (offscreen): Well, thank you very much, Mrs Wainwright, and I'll see you next Wednesday. Sam leaves the office and Phillips follows her out into the waiting room. Phillips: We'll have the results of your tests by then. And in the meantime, you look after yourself. Sam: Thank you, doctor. She walks away. Phillips: Miss Browne? Browne (offscreen): Hello, Doctor. MI5 building. Sam is waiting in the corridor. Foyle comes up behind her. Foyle: Hello. How was it? Sam: I'm sorry? Foyle: The dentist. Sam: Yes. Absolutely fine, sir. All in order. Foyle: Good. Outside. Sam and Foyle emerge from the building. Foyle: How's Adam? Sam: Busy. Foyle: Enjoying it? Sam: Well, he is. Truth is, I hardly see him now that he's become a private secretary. I always used to tell him about my work. These days, I feel if I open my mouth I'll get carted off and arrested. Foyle: Well, he'd understand that, wouldn't he? Sam: He doesn't even notice. He's got the minister, his party manager, his constituents. He hardly has any time left for me. Brecon Street. Sam and Foyle drive up to Strasser's boarding house and get out of the car. Sam: So what is this place? A nest of spies? Foyle: Yep. But they're our spies. He knocks on the door. Sam: Ah. Well, that's all right, then. Brenda Stevens opens the door. Stevens: Yes? Foyle: Good morning. I'm looking for a Professor Van Haaren. Stevens: He's not here. If you want to see the professor, you should come back when the library's closed. Foyle: I see. Stevens: Yes. He likes his books, the professor. Old paintings and painters. Can't see the fascination myself. Who shall I say called? Foyle: The name's Foyle. He can reach me any time on this number. He hands her a card. Stevens: And what's this about? It's just that he doesn't get that many visitors, Herr Van Haaren. Likes to keep himself to himself, know what I mean? Sam, peering through the doorway, notices an older man, Mr Parry-Jones, watching them. Foyle: You'll find he's expecting me. Foyle: Right. Sam: How many people live here? Stevens: Three tenants. Three rooms. If you're looking for somewhere, I'm afraid you're out of luck. Sam: No. No, just wondering. Stevens: Just nosy. I don't mean to be rude. We're not very sociable here. Just the way we are. Foyle: Do tell him I called. Stevens: If I see him, I'll let him know. She closes the door. Sam: Professor Van Haaren? Bet that's not his real name. Foyle: Why d'you say that? Sam: I don't know. Suppose I don't trust anyone anymore. Foyle: Does that include me? Sam: You and Adam, about the only people I do trust. They both get into the car. Sam: Did you notice there was someone watching you? Inside. Stevens reads the card Foyle gave her and sets it down. Parry-Jones stands watching from the other end of the hallway. Parry-Jones: What was all that? Stevens: Said his name was Foyle. Parry-Jones: I know, I heard. He walks over to pick up the card. Parry-Jones: What does he want? He looks at the card. Parry-Jones: This phone number's Leconfield House. I wonder if they know. Stevens: Know what? Parry-Jones: About you and the professor. Stevens: How would they know about that? Unless you told them. Parry-Jones: I'm on your side, Brenda. Let's face it, we both want the same thing. Stevens: And what's that? Parry-Jones: We want him dad. She turns and heads up the stairs. Westminster. Adam is talking with another man in Charles Roper's office, while a secretary types at a side desk. Man: Mmm. Roper walks into the room. Roper: Mutinies? They're not mutinies, they're strikes! You can't go sh*ting members of the Royal Air Force. The grievance is real! Thank you, Adam. Anything else? I've got a briefing. Adam brings a file over to his desk. Adam: Actually, minister, there is one thing. I, er, I had a visitor at my surgery, from Geoffrey Helliwell. Roper: Helliwell? Helliwell. Adam: From Devizes. Roper: The man with the land. Without the land. He wants it back. What's this? He opens the file Adam put on his desk. Adam: To sign. Roper: Yes, I had a look at the original contract. The agreement to buy back was at the current market value. He signs the document and Adam takes it back. Roper: It's what was agreed, and it was assessed by the local district valuer. Adam: George Gibson. Roper: You been into the files? Adam: I thought I should take a look. You don't mind? Roper: No, not at all. You can go round to his hotel and buy him a drink if you like. You'll be wasting your time. The land isn't even with this department anymore. It was transferred to Ag and Fish. Adam: Could we do that? Roper: Absolutely. Right now, maximising food production is this country's number one priority. Practically an emergency. I don't, don't need to tell you that. Adam: Yes, sir. Sorry. Roper takes his coat to leave the office. Roper: Do you want me to write to him? Adam: No, minister. I'm sorry. There's really no need. Roper: Right, in that case, concentrate on these strikes. See, the fact is, I'm inclined to sympathise. We really should be bringing back these pilots and aircrew from Karachi and Delhi now before the whole thing blows up in our faces. I'm a lone voice, of course. He leaves. The man Adam was talking with approaches him with another folder. Man: Adam. Problems? Maythorpe Hotel, Kensington. Helliwell is just leaving the building. As he sticks a cigarette in his mouth, two men approach him. Man: Got a light, mate? The second man shoves Helliwell down a set of basement stairs, and they follow him down, the second man holding a hammer in his hand. MI5 building, Foyle's office. As Foyle hangs his coat up, Valentine chuckles from the doorway. Valentine: So, you pulled Strasser. Bad luck. Foyle: D'you know him? Valentine: Not really, no. You should talk to Miss Pierce. He was one of hers. Foyle: Well, doesn't surprise me. Valentine: He helped break up Red Five. Foyle: And what's that? Valentine: Oh, it's, erm, it's a Soviet network operating mainly out of Sweden, but it had its supporters here. I can pull out some files for you if you like. Foyle: Thank you. Did you ever meet him? Valentine: I was in the same room but we didn't speak. He was a big noise in the counterintelligence service of the Sicherheitsdienst. Formidable knowledge of Soviet spy technique. I didn't like him. I found him arrogant. Well, they all are. Foyle: And no active service? Valentine: Apparently not. Spent the wr behind a desk. Saw which way the wind was blwing, then hotfooted it up to Copenhagen just before Jerry packed it in. Have you met him yet? Foyle: I've met his landlady. Valentine: Oh. Brenda Stevens. She used to work here on the switchboard. She inherited the house from her mother. She keeps an eye on some of the waifs and strays from SOE. She's useful. There's such a shortage of rooms in London. Foyle: Does she know who he really is? Valentine: Well, none of them do. He leaves, closing the door behind him. Hospital. Adam follows a nurse into a ward where Helliwell is a patient, his right leg in plaster. He sits up, groaning in pain. Adam approaches him. Adam: May I? He takes a seat beside the bed. Helliwell: How'd you find me? Adam: I telephoned the hotel and they told me what had happened. Then I spoke to the police. Helliwell: They say it was straightforward robbery with volence. They took my wallet with £10, and my watch. Adam: You think differently? Helliwell: Well, it's quite a coincidence, wouldn't you say? I come down complaining to you and the next thing I know, I'm in here. Adam: Mr Helliwell, if I may say so, that is a ridiculous assertion. Helliwell: Is it? Adam: Apart from anything else, I didn't tell anyone where you were staying. Helliwell: That's what you say. Adam takes a card out of his pocket. Adam: Here's my telephone number. He offers it, then sets it down on the nightstand when Helliwell fails to take it. Adam: If there's anything I can do for you... Helliwell: You'll be the first person I'll call. Adam stands up to leave. Sam (voiceover): How is he? Adam (voiceover): Well, he's a bit shaken up. Sam (voiceover): I'm sure. The two of them walk down the hospital staircase together. Sam: It's terrible. Did he have anything to say? Adam: He wasn't too pleased to see me. Sam: You don't think there's anything dodgy going on, do you? Adam: I don't know, Sam. Charles Roper's a good man. I've never met anyone more dedicated to his work. He's been very kind to me. Sam: But? Adam: Well, he can't have had anything to do with this, but the land doubling in value? It just- it just doesn't make any sense. Sam: Well, farmland, food. That could be worth quite a bit, couldn't it? Adam: I suppose so. Sam: You said there was a local land valuer. Adam: George Gibson, but he's left Devizes. I wouldn't know where to start. Sam: I could help you find him. It goes with the job. I can find out anything about anybody. I could even find out about you. Adam: And what secrets do you think I'm keeping from you, Mrs Wainwright? Sam laughs a little as a nurse passes them in the stairwell, then steps closer. Sam: Seriously. Adam, if you're thinking it wasn't just a robbery... She turns and heads on down the stairs and he follows. Hillstead School. Teacher Miss Watkins ushers a group of schoolboys up the steps into the building. Watkins: Quick, quick. Thomas Nelson is just coming round the corner of the building. She stops at the top of the steps as she sees him. A group of boys run past Nelson laughing, and he swings round, startled by the noise. Watkins: Boys, no running! As the boys move away, Nelson smiles and takes his hat off. Nelson: Miss Watkins. Watkins: Mr Nelson. So good to see you. They shake hands. Inside. He follows her through the corridors. Watkins: Mr Wilson is back. And Mr Hennessey. You remember him? Nelson: Of course. Watkins: His production of Julius Caesar with 2A, very ambitious. A group of boys approaches them, giggling, and she raises her voice, startling Nelson again. Watkins: Is that a sweet in your mouth, Simmonds? The boys hurriedly take their caps off. Simmons: Yes, Miss Watkins. Watkins: Spit it out, please, and put it in a handkerchief. You know the rules. Simmons: Yes, Miss Watkins. Watkins: Here we are. She knocks on a door and opens it for him. Headmaster (voiceover): It's good to have you back again, Nelson. The two of them sit down at the desk. There's a painting of sunflowers on the wall behind the headmaster. Headmaster: 1C hasn't been the same without you. Nelson: Er, thank you, Headmaster. Headmaster: When did you get back? Nelson: Er, it's, erm... it's been a year now, sir. He notices the painting. Nelson: Er, fifteen months. But I, erm... I wasn't well. Headmaster: Wounded? Nelson: Yes. Yes, quite... He clears his throat. Nelson: Quite badly. Er, er, September of '44. In, er, in France. He focuses on the painting of sunflowers. Flashback. A spider spinning a web on a sunflower. Present. Headmaster (offscreen): You're looking very fit. Nelson: Oh, they, er managed to patch me up. But it's, erm... it's still been, erm, slow. Headmaster: Yes, well, I can understand. And you're, er... Flashback to the sunflowers. Present. Headmaster: You're still living with your sister? Nelson: Yes. She's, er, she's putting me up. She, she was the one who, who, who, who told me to write. Headmaster: We'd be very happy to welcome you back to Hillstead. As it happens... Flashback. An SS officer moving through the sunflowers, searching. Headmaster (voiceover): ...there might be a position for a junior French master. Present. Headmaster: And music, of course. You still playing? Nelson: Erm, sometimes. He can't stop his eyes from repeatedly flicking up to the painting. Headmaster: Quite a number of the staff delayed their retirement for the duration of the wr. The sun shines through a gap in the curtains, and Nelson begins to pant for breath. Flashback. The silhouette of the SS officer looms through the sunflowers. Present. Nelson clutches at his face. Flashback. The swastika on the officer's uniform looms closer. Present. Headmaster: Are you all right? Nelson pants for several more moments before he gets control over himself. Nelson: Yeah, I just, er, get, erm... er, headaches now, now and then. Headmaster: Maybe it would be better if you had a little more rest before you return to the fray, hmm? Shall we, er... shall we leave it at that? Nelson: Yes, Headmaster. MI5 building. There's the sound of a knock. Charlotte (voiceover): Mr Foyle? She enters Foyle's office, where he's sitting at the desk. Charlotte: I've just had a call from Professor Van Haaren. He asked if you might meet him this evening at the university library after his lecture. Foyle: What did you say? Charlotte: I said you'd be there. I would have asked Mrs Wainwright, but she seems to have left early. Foyle: What time this evening? Charlotte: Seven o'clock. Foyle: All right. She leaves. University library. Strasser sits at a table, working. He looks up at the sound of the doors as Foyle walks in. He waits as Foyle approaches his table. Strasser: Mr Foyle? Foyle: Yes. Strasser stands up. Strasser: I am so glad to meet you. Foyle tips his head, but doesn't otherwise respond. Strasser: Please. He gestures Foyle towards his table. Strasser: Jan Six. The son of a merchant. A magistrate. He looks at a reproduction of the painting. Strasser: The mayor of Amsterdam. And yet immortalised by this portrait painted in 1654. You are familiar with the works of Rembrandt? Foyle: Not part of my brief. Strasser sits down. Strasser: I am sure this is not easy for you. It is not easy for me either to ask you for help, for protection. Foyle: I understand that's what you want. Strasser: I'm aware that I have few friends here, but given that I have been of service to you, surely it is not too much to ask that you should consider whether I am safe. Foyle: Well, apparently, that's why I'm here. He sits down. Strasser: You have read my file? Foyle: Yes. Strasser: I studied art history in Hamburg. Foyle: And law. Strasser: Very good. Foyle: And joined the SS in '33. Strasser: Yes. I saw the way the wind was blwing, Mr Foyle. Perhaps that has been true of my whole life. The book burning, the persecution, the Volksgericht... people's court. I make no apology. I had to survive. First counterintelligence, later in the Reich's main security office. You would have been too old to fight, I imagine. But perhaps you had a son. Foyle: Have you been thrat? Strasser: Not thrat. Not yet. Foyle: Protection from what, then? Strasser: I have become aware of a man who has been following me. I cannot describe him to you for he has always been too far away and he disappears the moment I turn around. But I have seen him four or five times. Foyle: How d'you know it's the same man? Strasser: There is something about his gait, the way he stands. Foyle: Is he in uniform? Strasser: No. A suit. Mufti, I believe, is the correct word. Foyle: And he's not approached you? Strasser: No. But in the last week, there have been telephone calls at the hostel and here at the library. When I answer, there's silence at the other end. And then, two days ago... He takes an envelope out of his pocket and tips out a bllet, which he places in front of Foyle. Strasser: Delivered to the hostel. It is live. Foyle picks it up. Foyle: Well, this is standard issue, which is perhaps not a surprise. Obviously someone has recognised you. Strasser: He makes his point very clear. Foyle: Presumably there's a gn to go with the bllet. I wonder why he hasn't used it. It would seem to, erm, have saved a lot of trouble. Strasser: Perhaps I have not given him the opportunity. Foyle: How d'you get from here to the hostel? Strasser: Sometimes I walk. Sometimes I drive. So, what will you do? Foyle: Well, there doesn't appear to be very much I can do. He stands up. Foyle: I mean, it might be best if you were to move or change your name, maybe? Strasser: That would be inconvenient. That would be impossible. Foyle: What do you suggest? Strasser stands up. Strasser: Find this man. Arrest him if you must. Find out what it is that he has against me. Foyle: I'll see what I can do. He turns to leave. Strasser: Is that all? Foyle: Er, for the moment, yes. MI5 building, night. A car drives up to the entrance and two Americans get out, Lieutenant General Hoyt Jackson and Ray Donovan. They head into the building. Sir Alec's office. He's at his desk with Pierce, and stands up as the two men are escorted in. Donovan: Sir Alec. Jackson: Lieutenant General Hoyt Jackson, Army-Navy Communications Intelligence Board. I, er, think you know Ray Donovan from the embassy. Pierce: Yes, we have met. She shakes hands with Donovan. Donovan: Good to see you again, Miss Pierce. Sir Alec: How can we help you gentlemen? Jackson: I'll get straight to the point, Sir Alec. Karl Strasser. Donovan: SS Brigadefuhrer Karl Strasser. Jackson: Our Department of Justice wants him. Sir Alec: Miss Pierce? Pierce: I can't say I'm familiar with the name. Jackson: Then let me refresh your memory. You picked him up in Roskilde in June last year and spirited him back to England. You spent a year interrogating him and since then you've been using him for intelligence. He may be in London, I don't know, but you do. And I'd be very grateful if you could expedite an interview with him at the earliest opportunity. Sir Alec: As I am sure both you gentlemen are aware, I was not part of this organisation last June. Jackson: With respect, sir, you are now. He eyes Pierce. Jackson: And I'm sure you were given a full assessment of the situation. Donovan: Of course, it's always possible he could be using another name. Jackson: But if that were the case, one of you would have given him that name. Sir Alec: I'll look into it. Donovan: Sir Alec, you haven't even asked why we want Strasser. Sir Alec: Do I need to know? Donovan: Well, sir- Sir Alec: No, I did not think so. He sits down at his desk to go back to his work. The two Americans leave. Hallway. The two of them walk back out of the building. Jackson: He's in charge. She pulls the strings. Donovan: Hard as nails. Jackson: The bitch. Sir Alec's office. Sir Alec: I have to say that I am very unhappy with this situation, Miss Pierce. I dislike having to lie. Pierce: To them? Sir Alec: To anyone. You say my predecessor went along with this arrangement? Pierce: Professor Van Haaren is very useful to us, Sir Alec. Sir Alec: He'd better be. Brecon Street, night. Strasser is sitting in his car. He lights a cigarette and gets out and heads into the boarding house. Entrance hall. Strasser closes the front door and heads towards the staircase. Parry-Jones is just on his way down. Parry-Jones: Oh. It's you. Strasser: You're up late, Mr Parry-Jones. They pass each other on the stairs. Parry-Jones: I can't sleep. I can never bloody sleep. I wonder why. Strasser's room. He lets himself in and takes his coat off before turning the lamp on. A dried sunflower has been left on the bed. Flashback to the field of sunflowers. Strasser pushes one aside with his gloved hand. Cut back to the present. He lifts the dried sunflower to look at it, then tosses it back down on the bed. Downstairs, next day. Strasser stands in the lounge as Foyle goes to look at the dried sunflower left on the dining room table. Strasser: Somebody broke into my room while I was in the library with you. It was on my bed. Foyle: Any significance to this? Strasser: The significance is that the door was locked and only I have the key. Foyle: What significance might there be to this? Strasser: Sunflower - it was the name of an operation in Northern France. Near Mortain. Sonnenblume. An attempt to hold back the American advance. Foyle: And you were there? Strasser: It had nothing to do with the SS. It was planned by the OKW, the Oberkommando der Wehrmacht. It was in August, 1944. There were a great many casualties. American, English... and German. Foyle: Who else was here last night? Strasser: Mr Parry-Jones. He came downstairs as I arrived. Mr Tchorek. He's Polish, speaks no English. He was asleep, I believe. And Mrs Stevens, she was also in the house. Foyle: Do you have a window in your room? Strasser leads Foyle up the stairs and unlocks the room for him to look around. Foyle goes over to look at the window. Foyle: Well, this, erm... doesn't lock. Strasser: I'm aware of that. Foyle: Easy enough to get in here. Strasser: They'd still need to know the location of my room, and for that, they would have been told by someone inside. Foyle: You mean someone here? Strasser: Or someone inside your organisation, Mr Foyle. Foyle: How well do you get on with the other residents? Strasser: I keep myself to myself. Foyle: Yeah, probably wise. Strasser: Why do you ask me these foolish questions, Mr Foyle? This is what I warned you would happen. First the phone calls, then the bllet and now... that. Foyle: Well, a flower on the bed hardly constitutes a death thrat. Strasser: A sunflower, Mr Foyle! It is a provocation. Let me assure you, this man knows where I am. He's telling me he can reach me. Next time, maybe soon, he will make his move. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Outside. Sam is waiting by the car as Parry-Jones and Edward Tchorek leave the building together. They pass Sam, and Parry-Jones turns back. Parry-Jones: You waiting for someone? Sam: Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. Parry-Jones: And who would that be? Sam: Do you live here? Parry-Jones: I board here. Wouldn't quite call it living. I recognise the car. Are you with Mr Foyle? Sam: I'm his driver, yes. Parry-Jones: Leconfield House. Don't worry, we're on the same side. I don't suppose you're interested in dinner tonight? Sam: Yes, I am, very interested, but not with you, I'm afraid. Parry-Jones: Shame. He walks on. Tchorek says something in Polish and Parry-Jones responds in the same language. Sam shakes her head to herself. Boarding house dining room. Foyle is standing with Brenda Stevens as she lays the table. Stevens: You should have told me who you were, Mr Foyle. I'd have been more helpful. Foyle: Yes, I'm sure. So, erm... heard nothing? Erm, any visitors last night? Stevens: I was in bed by nine. Jewel and Warriss on the wireless and a cup of cocoa. That was it for me. Foyle: You'd have a key to his room, wouldn't you? Stevens: Of course. I hardly know Professor Van Haaren. I don't know anything about him. I make it my business not to know, and nobody at the service tells me anything. Foyle: And the other tenants? Stevens: Mr Tchorek and Mr Parry-Jones? Same. If you want to talk to them, they'll be down at the Coach and Horses on Evening Street, playing chess. Foyle: Have you ever been to Holland? Stevens: What's that got to do with anything? Foyle: Have you? Stevens: My husband's Dutch. We met in Amsterdam. I had a job at the Metropole Hotel, then we came back here. He was klled in the wr. Run over in the blackout, silly sod. Never saw active service. Foyle: The tenants, er, have no idea of your connection with us? Stevens: Of course not. I'm just the landlady, that's all. If anything strange happens, anything unusual, I report back. Foyle: Like this, for example? He gestures to the sunflower on the table. Stevens: That was very strange, definitely. Foyle: Anything else? Stevens: The nurse. Foyle: The nurse? Stevens: I put in a report two weeks ago. A young woman came calling. In her twenties. Blonde. Quite a pretty girl. She said she was looking for a room and I do get a quite few people knocking at the door, but we got nattering and it seemed to me she was more interested in the professor. Asked about him, just like you. Foyle: A nurse where? Stevens: Uniform of St Mary's, Paddington. Street outside. Foyle stands talking with Sam. Foyle: Go to the hospital, see what you can find out. Sam: Yes, sir. Stevens is standing in the doorway, and Sam turns to her. Sam: Erm, you're sure it was St Mary's? Stevens: I lived round the corner once. I'd know it anywhere. Sam: And you'd recognise her again? Stevens: Yes. Sam: Would you be able to point her out to me? Stevens: Yes. Sam: Right. She and Foyle turn to leave. Adam (voiceover): Sir, these are the notes for the broadcast later tonight. Roper (voiceover): Thank you. He and Adam walk through into his office. Roper: You see, the problem is one of perception. Our RAF boys are out there in India and we tell them we can't bring them all home just now, they're preserving our regional interests. Adam: Quite. Roper: But what they see is ships reserved for GI brides and ships supplying the East Indies. A man hands Roper a note. Man: Sir. Roper: While they're stuck there with malaria and dysentery and all the rest of it. No wonder they're angry. He looks at the note and sighs. Adam: You all right, sir? Roper: Yes, I'm all right, I'm just... I never thought government, at least if you want to change anything, would be so bloody complicated. No wonder the Tories prefer the status quo. It's more relaxing. You can send this. Well done. He picks up a file and hands it to Adam. Adam: Thank you. Roper: Did you hear anymore from that chap Helliwell? Adam: Er, no, sir. He leaves. Typing pool. Charlotte walks through the room. Sam looks up from her desk as she passes. Sam: Charlotte, I wonder if you could help me? Charlotte: Typewriter jammed again? Sam: No. I'm, I'm trying to find someone. It's, it's for Mr Foyle. He's trying to find their whereabouts. Charlotte: Who is it? Sam: His name is George Gibson. He was a land valuer in Devizes, but he's moved. That's all we know. Charlotte: Well, it should be simple enough. You can look at the electoral rolls, tax records, ID cards. And if he's moved, then he'll have left a change of address with the Post Office. She walks back to her desk, then looks back at Sam. Charlotte: I'll check it out for you. Coach and Horses pub. Foyle walks through to the back room where Parry-Jones and Tchorek are playing chess. Later. Foyle is seated at their table with them. Parry-Jones: Foyle. Christopher Foyle. I feel I know the name. Hill House. It was a training centre. You were there briefly. Foyle: And you were SOE? Parry-Jones: That's right. Baker Street with Gubbins till the bitter end. You were a policeman, I recall. Foyle: Well, that's right. Parry-Jones: Never forget a name or a face. Goes with the training. But I can't help you, Mr Foyle. And he certainly can't. He says something in Polish, and Tchorek makes a move on the chessboard. Parry-Jones makes a move of his own and says something else to him. Parry-Jones: He doesn't speak a word of English. Shall I tell you something rather rum? He was fluent once. When I first met him - that was at Hill House - he could've passed as a country squire. But now it's all gone. Not a word. What do you make of that? Foyle: That's very strange. Parry-Jones: Yes. It does strange things to you, being captured and tortured by the nzi. He speaks to Tchorek again. Foyle: As ex-SOE, would an operation called Sunflower mean anything to you? Parry-Jones: Sunflower? Foyle: Mmm. Well, actually, erm, Sonnenblume. It was a German operation in Northern France a couple of years ago. Parry-Jones: No. Never heard of it. What's the connection? I thought you were investigating a break-in. Foyle: Well, whoever broke in left behind a sunflower in the professor's room. Parry-Jones: Strange gift for a man studying Rembrandt, don't you think? More appropriate for someone researching Van Gogh. MI5 building. Pierce is just leaving the building when the Americans' car drives up and the two of them get out. Pierce: Colonel Jackson. Jackson: Miss Pierce. I was wondering if you had time to reflect on our last night's conversation? Pierce: I think you should talk to Sir Alec. Donovan: Sir Alec will do what you tell him to do. I think we all know that. Pierce: I can't help you. Jackson: I want Strasser. I want him Stateside. I want you to know I'm not gonna let you stand in the way. Pierce: I understand. Donovan: I'm not sure you do. Jackson: Any lack of cooperation on your part would be out of keeping with the communication intelligence agreement, BRUSA, we signed with you last March. We could terminate that agreement. Pierce: I see. Jackson: I'll go further. It might also seriously compromise the various loans being discussed by my government with yours. He and Donovan walk back towards the car, then he turns back. Jackson: I know Strasser's useful to you, but we're not gonna let you protect him. Pierce walks on as they get in and drive away. Cherry House, a high block of flats with external walkways and staircases. Children playing outside squeal. Woman (offscreen): Billy! Billy! Billy! Get up here now. Come right upstairs! A dog barks. Mary Nelson's flat. Her brother sits at the table. Woman (offscreen): What are you doing? Mary walks in to the room in her nurse's uniform. Mary: I'm off, then. She collects her plate and cup from the table and carries them back out. Mary: What are you going to do today? Maybe you'll hear from Mr Leonard. You said the interview went well. He's silent as she tidies the bed behind him. Mary: Tommy... She goes over and sits by him. His breakfast is still sitting untouched in front of him. Mary: You know I hate leaving you like this, but I have to go to work, for the both of us. It's all the fault of this beastly wr. I wish you'd never gone. He suddenly slams his hand on the table, making her jump. Mary: Oh! Maybe... Maybe you should think about going back to Norton. You were happier there. We could write to Doctor Trevelyan. He covers her hand with his. Nelson: I'm all right. Mary: Of course you are. She stands up to go. Mary: Come looking for lunch if you fancy it, twelve o'clock. Otherwise, I won't be late. She leaves. Outside. A girl and two boys are outside the door of the next flat as Mary comes out of hers. Girl: Come on! Boy: Come on! Keep doing it. Come on! The other boy knocks on the door of the flat, and then all three of them run away past Mary. Lobby. Mary leaves the block of flats and walks down the front steps. Mary's flat. Nelson stands up from the table. Nelson: Ow. He limps over to sit down on the bed. Then he reaches under the mattress and pulls out a wrapped revolver. He picks it up and contemplates it for a few moments. Later. Nelson peers out through the net curtains. Then he takes the gn from the bed. Outside. Nelson leaves the flat and hurries down the outside stairs. Cranston (voiceover): How many RAF personnel do we now have in the Muar Camp in Kuala Lumpur... Roper sits in front of a BBC microphone, being interviewed by Cranston live on air. Cranston (offscreen): ...and the Tel el-Kebir Camp in Egypt? Roper: I believe the figure is about 30,000 in total. Cranston: And you would deplore the reports that have been coming in. No washing facilities. Water in the tents. Roper: Yes. Cranston: Mud everywhere. Roper: Yes, of course, Mr Cranston, the conditions are deplorable. And my ministry's efforts are- Cranston: Would you use the word 'mutiny' to describe the men's action? Roper: Absolutely not. I would say they have a grievance and should be listened to. Outside. Roper is leaving the building with Adam. Roper: What do you think? Adam: I thought it went very well. You sounded concerned. Roper: I am concerned. Adam: I meant you managed to handle the issue of the strikes perfectly. Roper: Yeah, an impertinent question. What does he think we're trying to do? As they head towards their car, Helliwell lurches out from behind a pillar on crutches. Helliwell: Roper! Adam: Mr Helliwell. Roper: It's all right, Adam. Helliwell: Yeah, it's all right. What d'you think I'm going to do? ht him with my crutches? Roper: Mr Helliwell, what can I do for you? Helliwell: I just want you to know that this isn't over. You can lie to me, you can set your thugs on me, but one day I'll get to the truth about my land. I promise you. He turns to go, and Adam holds the car door open for Roper. Roper: Thugs? He gets into the car. Adam closes the door and watches Helliwell for a moment before heading round to get in the front. University library. Foyle meets with Strasser as he's leaving the building. Strasser: Thank you for coming. Foyle: Well, you asked to see me. Strasser: I cannot concentrate on my work while all this is happening. I have to know what you have done, what you have found out. Foyle: Well, very little. I spoke to the other residents, er, and to the landlady. Strasser: Mrs Stevens. Foyle: Yes. They walk out through the gate into the street. Strasser: I wonder... what do you think about her? She's an attractive woman. Foyle: Well, she couldn't tell me much. Neither could the others. The truth is, there's little more I can do. Strasser: So what do you suggest? Foyle: Well, the same as I suggested the last time. Erm, your best advice is to move. Strasser: I told you, I do not wish to do that. I fly to France, to Holland, to Denmark. I hide for a month, a year. This has already been offered to me. How does it help? They stop by Strasser's car. Foyle: Well, the further away you are the better, I'd say. Strasser: You have not helped. You have done nothing! Foyle: That's a fair assessment. Strasser moves to open the car door when a sht shatters the opposite window. He and Foyle both duck down behind the car. Strasser yells in pain. There are five more shts, and then Foyle rises up a little to peer through the car windows. He sees the gn just being withdrawn from over the wall opposite. Strasser pulls his left glove off to push the sleeve back from his opposite wrist. He has a flesh wound close to where he's tattooed with an ID number on his inner arm. Strasser: Gottverdamt, this is your fault! You do nothing! Now you see! Foyle: How bad is it? Strasser: Just a scratch. Now, Mr Foyle, will you do something? St Mary's hospital. Mary Nelson is just leaving by the service entrance together with another nurse. Mary: But I have to hurry now. My brother's expecting me. Nurse: Okay. I'll see you later, then? Sam and Brenda Stevens are watching from across the street. Stevens: That's her there with blonde hair. Mary parts from her friend and walks off down the street. Sam: Thank you, Mrs Stevens. She starts to follow Mary. Stevens watches her for a moment, then turns to go. Street. Mary walks out through an archway. A few moments later Sam emerges too, following her at a safe distance Cherry House. Mary walks up the front steps and into the building. Sam follows her up and looks through the glass doors, then turns and goes back down. MI5 building. Foyle is walking through the corridors and passes Valentine. Valentine: Where have you been? How's Strasser? Foyle: He'll survive. Valentine: Not for much longer, the way things are going on. Foyle: What do you know about him? Valentine: I told you. Foyle: No, I mean really know? Valentine: Listen, I'm not gonna pretend I like having you here. I never thought it was a good idea to recruit a policeman. You don't fit in, but between you and me, I'm not always proud of what we get up to here either and, quite frankly, I despise the idea of protecting a bloody nzi. Hmm. That's not why I joined intelligence. Foyle: You haven't answered the question. He goes to walk on. Valentine chuckles. Valentine: Sir Alec wants to see you. The building's in uproar. Sir Alec's office. Valentine is just closing the door behind him and Foyle. Sir Alec: This situation is out of control. A sht in London. It's not Chicago. This is intolerable. Foyle: I agree. Sir Alec: And no arrest? Well, you must have some idea of what's going on. Pierce is also in the room, sitting listening from a chair at the side. Foyle: Well, it all seems to be connected with a German operation in Northern France in '44 called Sunflower. Would that, er, mean anything to you? He looks at Sir Alec and then Pierce. Neither reacts. Foyle: I mean, it's not impossible that, er, Strasser's being targeted by one of the residents at the hostel but I don't think that's likely. Sir Alec: Why not? Foyle: Well, the bllet, the sunflower. I mean, why bat about the bush? Just sht him in the bath. Wouldn't you? Pierce: Make absolutely sure he's safe. That's our number one priority. Sir Alec: Where is he now? Valentine: He's back at the hostel. Pierce: Right, men on guard, round the clock. Sir Alec: We'll do as Miss Pierce says. 24-hour protection, but I want him moved at the first opportunity. That's all. Valentine moves to leave and Foyle follows. Sir Alec: One last thing, Foyle. Foyle turns back and Valentine closes the door he was holding for him Sir Alec: Who is George Gibson? Foyle just blinks and waits expectantly to hear more. Pierce: You had him traced to a house in Croydon. You authorised a tap on his phone. Sir Alec: What's this all about? Foyle: Red Five. Pierce: It's a network that Strasser helped us break up. Foyle: Could be a link. Sir Alec: And this man Gibson? Foyle: Could be part of it. Sir Alec: Right. Well, keep at it. Foyle: Thank you. He leaves. Sir Alec looks at Pierce. Sir Alec: Red Five? Pierce: I thought it was dormant. Sir Alec: This is getting out of hand. Typing pool. Sam is at her desk, making an inked correction to a half-typed document. Foyle opens the door. She looks up at him. He jerks his head for her to step outside. Sam (voiceover): It was wrong of me, sir. I should have asked you first. The two of them are driving along in the car. Foyle: Absolutely right. Sam: I wanted to help Adam. Foyle: Well, commendable, but nothing like a good enough excuse. They could prosecute you for this. You must be careful. How many times do you need to be told? They drive in silence for a short while. Sam looks sideways at Foyle. Foyle: What's this land used for? Sam: Food production. Ministry of Agriculture. But there must be something wrong, because the land value has doubled in just eight years. Foyle: And Gibson was the valuer? Sam: Yes, sir. And if Mr Roper's up to no good, then where does that leave Adam? Thank you for helping me, sir. Foyle: Well, I'm trying to save my own skin as well. Gotta get myself out of the lie I've just told for you. They drive on. Gibson's house. Foyle is at the front door. Sam gets out of the car as he turns away from it. Sam: Nothing? Foyle: Uh-uh. Let's try round the back. Back garden. Sam and Foyle walk up to George Gibson where he's at work in the garden. Foyle: Mr Gibson? Gibson: Yes. Foyle: I'm sorry, we did ring. Gibson: Oh, that's all right. What can I do for you? Erm, broad beans and peas. I'm afraid you're about three months early. Foyle: Oh. No, no, no, no. Er, we understand you used to live in Devizes? Gibson: Oh. Twenty years. This is my wife's mum's place. When she died, we decided to move back to London. I don't know you, do I? Foyle: No, no, no. Er, the name's Foyle. This is, erm... Sam: Samantha Wainwright. Hello. Gibson: Oh, what can I do for you? Foyle: I wonder how much you'd be able to tell us about the, er, valuation on a piece of land that used to belong to a family called Helliwell in Devizes. Gibson: Uh-uh. I don't know anything about it. Sam: It was you who made the valuation, Mr Gibson. Gibson: No. Er, well, it might have been. I can't remember. Foyle: Well, this was a piece of farmland about a thousand acres, er, subject to a compulsory purchase order. Gibson: No. Don't know anything about it. Who are you, anyway? Foyle: We're with the, er, security service. Sam: My ID. She shows it to him. Gibson: What? But, look, I can't help you. I did loads of valuations. I can't remember all of them. I have nothing more to say to you. He heads back round to the front of the house and lets himself inside. He gets a book out of the drawer beneath the hall phone and starts to dial a number from the book. MI5 wiretap office. An agent listening on headphones looks up. Agent: There's a call. Gibson house. Gibson listens to the dial tone, waiting for someone to pick up. Sam and Foyle look in through the window as they pass. Someone picks up the phone on the other end. Gibson: Hello? Wiretap office. Two agents listen on headphones, one of them taking notes in shorthand. Boarding house. Brenda Stevens lets herself in as Strasser is coming down the stairs with a suitcase. Stevens: Leaving us, Professor? Strasser: For a short while, Mrs Stevens. Just a week or two. Stevens: Going somewhere nice? Strasser: I think I will drive down to Brighton. Stevens: Get some sea air. Why don't you go for a nice swim? She heads on up the stairs. Stevens: Drown yourself while you're at it. Strasser smirks after her, pauses to sniff the flowers in a nearby vase, then leaves. Parry-Jones comes out into the hall as he leads. Agent (voiceover): Good morning. You're off, then? Two MI5 agents are waiting outside as Strasser leaves the boarding house. Strasser: Yes. He walks away and they start to follow him. Strasser: It's all right, gentlemen. The car's just here. Agent: We'll be here when you get back. Strasser: I hope so. He heads over to his parked car. The two agents head back around the corner. Agent: We don't need to waste anymore time hanging around here. Agent 2: Let's get back to HQ. There's an explsin from round the corner. They turn and run back. Strasser's car is in flames. Wainwright house. Sam is making tea in the kitchen as Adam reads a pierce of paper in the main room. Adam: I can't believe you did this. Sam: Well, you'd have done the same for me. Adam: Sam... Sam: What? Adam: No, seriously. You shouldn't have. Sam: Why not? Adam: Because... you can't just eavesdrop on someone because you think they're up to no good. Sam: But I was right, wasn't I? Adam: It doesn't make any difference. Sam: I was doing this for you! Adam: What about you? Does Foyle know about this? Sam: Yes. Adam: Did he approve? Sam: Not exactly. Adam: I'm not surprised. I mean, what's gonna happen if someone finds out? You could lose your job. Sam: I could lose my job? I was trying to help you, Adam. You started this. You said there was something wrong, and there's the proof in your hand. I can't believe you're not more grateful! Adam: Of course I'm grateful. Thank you. But this isn't just illegal, it's unthinkable. Brecon Street. Foyle is standing with the two agents at the scene of the explsin. Foyle: Well, you still haven't explained why you weren't with him. Valentine is inspecting the brned-out car. Foyle comes over to join him. Valentine: They took him away in two pieces. Grenade attached to the steering column - fairly simple booby-trap. Strasser pulled the pin out when he opened the door. It's an old SOE trick. Foyle: Is it now? Valentine: What happened to the two men that were meant to be looking after him? Foyle: Well, dereliction of duty springs to mind. Valentine: And no one thought to, you know, check the car before he got in? Foyle: Precisely. A car drives up beside them, and Pierce opens the door to speak to them. Pierce: We were supposed to be looking after him. Valentine: Why didn't you move him after the shting? Pierce: Sir Alec wants to see you immediately. We're gonna have to talk to the Americans. We were about to hand him over! American embassy. Jackson (voiceover): I think you have some explaining to do, Mr Foyle. Foyle (voiceover): There's little to explain. Er, you know he was here under a Dutch pseudonym. Inside. Valentine, Foyle and Pierce sit at a table across from Donovan. Jackson. Foyle: He was in touch because he believed his life was at risk as a result of anonymous letters and phone calls. Pierce: That was before you approached us. Foyle: And I was asked to look into it. Jackson: Seems like you didn't look hard enough. Valentine: I take equal responsibility with Mr Foyle. Donovan: I think you're being unfair, Colonel. I'm sure these gentlemen did everything they could. Foyle: Well, we didn't have a lot of time. I only met him a few days ago and things moved rather rapidly. Someone broke into his room, there was an attempt to sht him and now, of course, this. Donovan: Someone had blown his cover? Foyle: So he believed. A sunflower was left in his room, which seemed to have significance for him. Jackson: You're right there, Mr Foyle. It relates to an operation in which, er, Strasser was involved. Donovan: Sonnenblume. Jackson: That's Kraut for Sunflower. Northern France, 1944. Foyle: And what happened there? Donovan: All you need to know is that 26 American soldiers died in what we believe was a wr crime. Valentine: Strasser was behind a desk in Berlin, yes? Donovan: That's what he says. Pierce: May I make an observation, Colonel Jackson? Donovan: Please, go ahead, Miss Pierce. Pierce: Well, no matter what the truth is about Strasser, there can be no doubt that the information he gave us saved lives, both British and American. A great deal of what we know about Russian intelligence is down to him. Donovan: The point being? Pierce: I make no apology for using him. The stakes are too high. But he's dad. That's the end of it. The matter is closed. Outside. Foyle is waiting outside the building as Pierce emerges. Foyle: Closed? Valentine follows her out. Pierce: We have been made to look fools, so that's enough on the matter. She gets into her car. Brecon Street. Two boys are playing football in the road. Boy: Go on, kick it! The ball rebounds over to where Sam is waiting by the car. She tosses it back to them. Boy: Thanks, missus. Boy 2: Come on. Your turn. Sam goes back to waiting. Inside. Brenda Stevens leads Foyle through into the lounge. Stevens: He never got to Brighton. She sits down in one of the armchairs. Foyle: He told you where he was going? Stevens: Last time we spoke, he said he was off. And then I heard it, an almighty bang. Foyle: So you're not exactly grief stricken? Stevens: Well, he just boarded here. I hardly knew him. Foyle: Well, I think you knew exactly who he was. Stevens: Oh yes? Foyle: Well, you knew he was German. He sits down opposite her. Stevens: German? Foyle: I think you knew. Stevens: What makes you think that? Foyle: Well, the first time we met, you called him Herr Van Haaren. "Herr Van Haaren", not "Professor Van Haaren", not "Mijnheer Van Haaren". You were married to a Dutchman. If you believed Van Haaren was Dutch, you'd have said "Mijnheer". You knew he was German. Stevens: All right. I knew exactly who he was. And what he was. Foyle: Yet you had a relationship with him? Stevens: Who told you that? Foyle: He did. In as many words. She sighs. Stevens: My husband's dad. I'm alone. I did briefly know Herr Strasser. I gave myself to him, Mr Foyle. To a German. A nzi. Have you any idea how that makes me feel? And when I found out, when I confronted him, d'you know what he did? He laughed. It just goes to show, they're all the same under the skin. The master race. He thought it was funny that he'd had his way with some poor, stupid Englishwoman, and I couldn't be more pleased the bastard's dad. Foyle: How did you find out who he was? Coach and Horses pub. Parry-Jones stands by his and Tchorek's chessboard. Parry-Jones: I knew he wasn't Dutch. I knew it from the moment I met him. Foyle: How did you know? Parry-Jones: Took a shufti in his room. Don't ask about the lock. Easy enough to pick, and easier still as Mrs Stevens keeps her spare keys in the kitchen. Foyle: And then what? Parry-Jones: Would you believe he'd kept his Wehrpass? It's his military record book. So it seems he wasn't so ashamed of his past after all. Foyle: And you told her who he was? Parry-Jones: Had an idea the two of them were having the oh-be-joyfuls. I thought she ought to know. Foyle: A hand grenade device in a car would be fairly familiar to you. Parry-Jones: Basic SOE training. I can see where you're going with that, Mr Foyle. But I didn't kll him and I'll tell you why. I hate the nzi for what they did to Europe, to the Jews, to the agents I knew personally, to poor Edward here. Strasser was undoubtedly a nzi, whatever Hilda Pierce may have told you. Did you know what the life expectancy of an SOE agent was during the wr, Mr Foyle? Tchorek says something in Polish, and Parry-Jones replies, then turns back to Foyle. Parry-Jones: Six weeks. But they still volunteered. Young men and women like Edward here. When it was all over, what did they do? They gave up on us. Right now they're disbanding us. Well, they're picking a few of us for MI5 and MI6. And the rest? Not wanted. Not needed. Thank you and goodbye. Foyle: A new world. Parry-Jones: Exactly. A new world where we protect and look after nzi because they're useful to us. What does that make us, do you think? Makes you wonder what it was all for. He makes a move on the chessboard. Foyle turns to leave. Roper's office. Adam stands reading a file. Man (offscreen): See you later. Adam: All right. The man passes Roper, who's reading in one of the chairs, on his way out. Man: I'll be back in an hour, sir. Roper: Right-o. Something else, Adam? Adam: Yes, I'm afraid there is, sir. It's about this business with the land near Devizes. Roper: I thought we'd agreed to let that lie. Adam: I tried to but I couldn't. Not after Geoffrey Helliwell was attcked. Roper: You told me he was the victim of a robbery. Adam: Or an attempt to intimidate him. Roper: Is that what you think? Adam: The Helliwell property was revalued on the 28th of July last year. The valuer, George Gibson, lied when he made that valuation. He actually doubled the land value to prevent the owners from buying it back. Roper: Did he tell you this? Adam: No, sir. Roper: Well, even supposing it's true, why are you bringing it here? Adam: Because Mr Gibson was acting on instructions given by you. He was interviewed yesterday and immediately afterwards, he telephoned you, here, in your private office. This is a transcript of that telephone call. He takes the transcript out of his pocket and gives it to Roper. Roper: May I ask how you acquired this? Adam: I'm afraid I can't tell you. Roper: Well. Seems pointless for me to deny it since you have it here in black and white. I suppose I should congratulate you on a... job well done. Aren't you curious as to why I wanted the land? Adam: Was it for money? Roper: Money? Yes, it was the money. Geoffrey Helliwell is a developer. He wants the land to build on and squeeze for as much money as he can get. And yet, Adam, what is the single greatest challenge facing this country at the moment? Food production. If I could keep a thousand acres of prime farming land out of the hands of a grasping profiteer and under the plough I consider I'd be doing my duty. You don't agree? Adam: It's, it's still a fraud. Roper: To put my country first? You learn something about politics, Adam. If you really want to help your country, sometimes you have to make uncomfortable decisions. Adam: Lying? Breaking the law? Roper: Who's seen this? Adam: No one. Roper: Who's going to? Adam is silent. Roper: I see. Get out. Adam turns to go. Roper: It sickens me, Adam. Sickens me... that you should think I was in it for the money. Adam leaves. Cherry House. Sam and Foyle walk up the front steps. Sam: I cross-checked the flats with the hospital records. Her name's Mary Nelson. She lives on the fourth floor. Fourth floor. They pass the window of Mary's flat and see that she's in the kitchen. At the sound of the knock she turns to come to the door. Inside. Sam questions Mary in the hallway while Foyle stands listening. Sam: You see, we need to know why you were at the hostel at Brecon Street. Mary: Is this about Tommy? Sam: Who is Tommy? Mary: He's my brother. He sent me there. He wanted to know about a Dutchman who had a room there, a professor. Sam: Professor Van Haaren. Mary: Yes. Sam: Why did he want to know? Mary: Well, he didn't tell me. He saw him at the university library. It was quite by chance. Tommy saw him and, well, after that it was like an obsession. Sam: What did you tell him? Mary: Oh, not very much. Only what the lady told me. Erm, he'd been there for three months. He had a room on the top floor. Has something happened? Has Tommy done something? Sam: Do you know where he is? Mary: I've got no idea. I've been so worried about him. Tommy was very badly injured after D-Day. He was in Normandy. He was sht in the head. He never talked to me about it, but the truth is, he never recovered. Not, not really. Er, it took him a year to recover physically, and then he went to a hospital in Reading, a wonderful place called Norton Park. They tried to put him back together again. You know, mentlly. Sam: Do you think he, he could have gone back there? Mary: Oh, I don't know. I suppose so. I, I don't know why I didn't think of it first. Foyle: D'you remember the name of his doctor? Norton hospital. Foyle drives up to the building. Doctor John Trevelyan comes over to shake his hand as he gets out of the car. Trevelyan: How do you do, Mr Foyle? John Trevelyan. Foyle: How do you do? Trevelyan: Welcome to Norton. Foyle: Thomas Nelson's a patient of yours? Trevelyan: Yes. He came back to us yesterday. But I'm a bit concerned about him speaking to you. Foyle: Why would that be? Inside. Nelson sits smoking with shaky hands. Trevelyan (voiceover): Mr Nelson has been severely traumatised by what happened to him in Normandy. It's still very difficult for him to talk about it. Outside. The two of them are walking towards the building. Foyle: He talks to you. Trevelyan: Well, he talks within a group. That's what we do here. In that environment, Tom can face up to what happened to him. But alone it is much more difficult. Foyle: Well, I understand the need to protect the patient, but the truth is, er, he could be in an awful lot of trouble and at some point he'll need to speak. Trevelyan: If you talk to him, you talk to him under my supervision. Foyle: Fair enough. They head into the building. Inside. Nelson: I, er... I was with the Royal atillery in, erm, in France. Captain. Captain Thomas Nelson, reporting for duty. Foyle is sitting opposite Nelson in a circle of chairs. Trevelyan steps in as Nelson appears to be getting upset. Trevelyan: It's all right, Tom. You don't have to do this. Nelson holds up a hand to forestall him. Trevelyan sits down in one of the chairs, and Nelson takes a moment before going on. Nelson: I was... I was attached to a, a, a US Army field atillery unit. Observe. Report back. wapon, tactics. It was, erm... was a good, good, good bunch. All, er, very, very young and far from home, and... and, er, I was with them when it, erm... when it... Flashback. Machine-gn fre through the window of a farmhouse kitchen. Cut back to the present. Nelson: When it all went wrong. Flashback. A GI returning fre through another window. GI: Get your heads down! Present. Nelson: We'd, er, we'd got separated. We were... trapped behind e-e-enemy lines. Flashback to ongoing exchange of fre and the GIs shouting. Present. Nelson: A farmhouse in a place called M- Flashback. GIs returning fre from behind a table. Present. Nelson: M- M-Mortain. Flashback. One of the GIs is sht in the head. Present. Nelson: It was... hopeless. Flashback. A dad GI slumps to the ground. An American major comes through a door, crouched low, his arm in a bloody sling. Major: Sergeant! We're surrendering! Prepare a white flag! Present. Nelson: Destroy all documents... Flashback to the firefight. Major: Destroy all documents, equipment- Present. Nelson: Signalling gear. Major (voiceover): And signalling gear. Flashback to the firefight. Major: Move it! Present. Nelson: And then... we, er, we went out. Flashback. The major and his men are escorted by a group of German soldiers. Nelson (voiceover) Honourable surrender. Conventions of wr. Not this time. Present. Nelson: Not this time. Flashback. Strasser is there in his SS uniform, watching as the prisoners are escorted into an enclosed yard. They turn to face their captors where gn are set up in the entrance trained on them. Strasser: fre! The group of unarmed prisoners are gn down where they stand. Present. Nelson clutches his head and twitches, hearing phantom echoes of machine-gn fre. Foyle sits silently waiting until Nelson collects himself and goes on. Nelson: I somehow, er, managed to get away. And all I can remember... Flashback. Nelson staggers into field of sunflowers. Present. Nelson is beginning to cry. Nelson: Are the sunflowers. The farm was... Flashback to the field of sunflowers. Nelson (voiceover): Was surrounded by sunflowers, and, erm... Present. Nelson: And I, I thought I could... Flashback to Strasser searching among the sunflowers, his pstol drawn. Present. Nelson: Hide in the field. He begins to break down again. Flashback. Strasser draws closer to Nelson's hiding place. He smirks and raises his pstol. Present. Nelson hears the phantom echo of a gn. Foyle waits as he gradually calms down. Nelson: The, er... the bllet... didn't, didn't kll me. I don't know why not. A French woman found me. And I was... I was the only one left. She, er... She, she, she looked, looked after me. Foyle: The name of the German officer? Nelson: Er, it was the, erm, er, the 12th SS Panzer Division. I, erm, I, I never found out his name. Foyle: But you saw him again. Nelson: Yes. A few weeks ago, in London. He was c-coming out of a library. There's a silence. Trevelyan exchanges a look with Foyle. Foyle: Did you kll him? Nelson: Yes. Westminster, night. Roper (voiceover): It's been a great privilege to serve in your government... Roper is pacing in his office, dictating to secretary Lottie. Roper: ...and to have taken part in the huge reforms that this country so badly needs. So it is with deep regret that I tender my resignation. It's also not my intention to stand at the next general election and I'll make this clear in due course. Yours sincerely, Charles Roper. Lottie looks up at him for a moment, then stands up. Roper: Thank you, Lottie. Lottie: Good luck, sir. Hallway. Glenvil and Adam are walking through the building together. Glenvil: What have you done? What exactly have you done? Adam: I didn't know he'd resign. Glenvil: What choice did he have? They enter Adam's office. Glenvil: I don't know what to say to you, Adam. You lost your position as a PPS, and after this, no one in the party's gonna touch you. The government has lost an effective and committed minister. And maybe the country has lost a thousand acres of agricultural land. So what exactly have we gained here? Adam: You told him, didn't you? Glenvil: What? Told him what? Adam: Roper knew Helliwell hadn't left London, he was staying in a hotel. I didn't tell him. Someone else must have. Glenvil: I kept him informed. He's my friend. Adam: And did you also tell him the name of the hotel? Glenvil: Sorry, what are you- what are you saying? Are you suggesting one of us arranged to have him beaten up? Well, maybe you should have a look at this. He gets a file from a drawer and slams it down on the table. Glenvil: That's a police report. They found the men responsible for the asault on Helliwell. Part of a well-known gng. Nothing to do with Roper. Adam looks through the papers in the file and sits down. Glenvil: There's a bunch of constituents outside. Mrs Jones is back. Better have them in. Wainwright house, night. Sam (voiceover): It's all my fault. Adam (voiceover): No, it wasn't. Sam brings two glasses of wine in and joins Adam on the sofa. Adam: You were right. I started it. You know, I still can't believe you did that for me. Sam: Yes. And look what it got you. Adam: Well, I'm still an MP. Glenvil'll come round... eventually. I do wonder, though. Sam: What? Adam: Well, he asked me what I'd actually achieved and I wasn't sure I had an answer for him. Sam: Well, I have. Adam: Go on. Sam: What you've achieved was everything I married you for. You stayed true to your beliefs. You didn't let anyone bully you into turning a blind eye. I know we were wrong about the attck at the hotel, but you were right about everything else, and that's what matters. Mr Roper was a crook. I know it's not as simple as that, but if we've gonna have politicians lying and breaking the rules just because it suits them... Adam: Well, that's exactly what I did. Sam: Then what was the point of winning the wr we've just been through? That's what we should really be thinking about. What sort of world are we trying to create? Adam: Sam- Sam: Yeah, but there's something else. It rather matters to me just now because I've just been to the hospital and the doctor has said that, contrary to medical opinion, I'm about to introduce somebody else into that world. Six months from now. I've been dying to tell you all day. So much has been happening, I didn't get a chance. Adam: A baby? You are amazing. Sam starts to tear up. Adam: You are amazing. Come here. They embrace. MI5 morgue. Valentine and Foyle stand waiting. Valentine: Can't think why you'd want to see it. Foyle: Just a feeling. Valentine: Miss Pierce won't like it. In fact, she'd have my guts for garters if she knew I'd authorised this. Foyle: Why have you? Valentine: You did me a great kindness, Foyle. You could have caused me a lot of trouble and you chose not to. And another thing. I'm wondering what you're up to. An attendant wheels a body in on a trolley and uncovers the body. Valentine gives him a nod and he steps out. Foyle studies the body, which is badly brned. Valentine goes over and raises the corpse's right arm, less brned than the rest. Valentine: Is this what you're looking for? His SS tattoo? Lot of SS officers had these. Partly medical, partly for identification. That way you can check his records, find out everything you need. He sets the corpse's arm back down and wipes his hands. Valentine: Anything else? Foyle: No. Sir Alec's office. Foyle and Valentine stand before his desk. Sir Alec: I understand that you've been investigating the death of Strasser, the two of them. Valentine: We've been making enquiries. Sir Alec: Enquiries? You're not a policeman, Valentine. Why are you talking like one? You saw the body. Who authorised that? Pierce looks up from where she's sitting in a chair in the corner with an open file. Valentine: There were unanswered questions. Sir Alec: The only unanswered question is why you chose to undermine my authority. Foyle: It's the case then, is it, that your authority has been behind all decisions relating to Strasser? Sir Alec: What are you talking about? Foyle: Oh, I think you know very well. Sir Alec: Enlighten me. Foyle: I'm talking about the mssacre of American troops at the village of Mortain two years ago and the extent to which you know about this and of Strasser's involvement. Sir Alec: What I knew or didn't know is irrelevant. Foyle: Well, I'll take that as a yes. Strasser was recognised by a survivor of that mssacre, a British soldier, Thomas Nelson. Valentine: He sent the bllet, he placed the sunflower in Strasser's room. Foyle: Strasser personally tried to kll Nelson and as a result, unsurprisingly, Nelson is now a very sick man and made an attempt to sht and kll Strasser. He believes he succeeded. He's wrong, he missed. Sir Alec: He didn't miss with the grenade. Foyle: Well, he had nothing to do with the grenade. You did. Or rather, the grenade was placed in the car by this department with your authority. Sir Alec: Why would we do that? Foyle: Well, to avoid, er, having to deliver him to the Americans who justifiably want him for wr crimes. Er, you used the coincidence of Nelson's vendetta to arrange the mrder in the belief that Nelson would take the blame. Pierce: Absurd idea. We were about to hand him over. Sir Alec: From our point of view, it's regrettable that he's dad. Pierce: And a pointless exercise klling your asset. Foyle: I agree. Sir Alec: Then why are you suggesting we did? Foyle: I'm not, because you haven't. He's alive. Isn't he? Sir Alec: And what led you to that conclusion? Foyle: Well, odd, to start with, that a man attempting to avoid justice and escape with his life should tell his landlady precisely where he's going. Pierce: You saw the body, Foyle. Foyle: I saw a corpse. I saw a headless corpse that had been given Strasser's tattooed military ID. Flashback to Valentine showing him the tattoo. Cut back to the present. Foyle: With absolutely no sign whatsoever of the wound that he got when Nelson took a sht at him. Flashback to Strasser cradling his injured arm. Strasser: Gottverdamt, this is your fault! Cut back to the present. Sir Alec and Pierce keep their silence. Valentine: Where is he? Flashback to Strasser heading towards his car as the two escorting agents turn away and head back round the corner. A man gets out of a car parked opposite and takes Strasser's suitcase as Strasser gets into that car instead of his own and it begins to drive away. Around the corner, the two MI5 agents jump at the sound of the explsin. Cut back to the present. Valentine: Where is he? He turns to look at Pierce, shaking his head. Valentine: You... Pierce: In a safe place. Foyle: And what are you gonna do with him? Pierce: He's leaving first thing tomorrow. It's better for all concerned that he's not seen for a while. Valentine: We can't do this. Sir Alec: Oh, for heaven's sake, grow up, Valentine. Karl Strasser is an invaluable source of information to us. I have no more fondness for these labyrinthine schemes than you do, but if they work, I am not going to argue. Foyle: The greater good? Sir Alec: Exactly, Foyle. That's all? Foyle and Valentine turn to leave. Airfield. Strasser stands smoking on the balcony of a building overlooking the airfield while Pierce paces behind him. A man enters to speak to another standing by. Man: The plane's approaching, sir. Balcony. Strasser watches as the plane comes in to land. Flashback. Strasser brushes a sunflower aside with his gloved hand and sees Nelson lying on the ground, his face bloodied. Cut back to the present. Strasser leaves the building and gets into a car. Flashback. Nelson lies among the sunflowers, leg badly wounded. Present. The car drives round to the airfield. Strasser looks back over his shoulder. Flashback. Strasser aims his pstol at the helpless Nelson. Nelson: Bitte! Bitte- Present. The car drives towards the waiting plane. Pierce gets out of the back. Flashback. Nelson struggles to sit up. Present. Strasser hears the phantom sound of the gn. He gets out of the car. As Pierce walks towards the plane, another car drives up beside her and Foyle gets out. Pierce: How did you know? How did you know we were here? Foyle: You said he was leaving this morning. How else would he leave the country? Pierce walks on past him. Strasser: So you saw through our little stratagem. Foyle: Yes. Strasser: And you've come to say goodbye? Foyle: I have nothing to say. Strasser: Then why have you come? Doubtless I disgust you. It was wr, Mr Foyle. Towards the end, it is my belief Himmler knew the wr was lost and he wanted to incriminate us, to dirty our hands, so that we could not claim that we were merely Schreibtischtater, desk criminals. That was how I came to find myself in Northern France in 1944. Foyle: What you did wasn't wr. Strasser: It was chaos. We were already retreating. 26 American soldiers. I couldn't have taken them prisoner even if I'd wanted to. It was not possible. I make no apology, Mr Foyle. You can go to hell as far as I'm concerned. Your people need me now. Your role was to help me and this is exactly what we did. As Pierce walks back to join them, an American military Jeep drives onto the airfield. Strasser: We will not meet again. Foyle: I believe you're absolutely right. Another car follows the Jeep. Pierce: You told them? The Americans? Foyle, you're a traitor to the service. Valentine steps out from behind Foyle's car. Valentine: It wasn't Foyle. It was me. Pierce: Arthur. Valentine: I take full responsibility. It was a step too far. That man - we end up by working with him, we're no better than he is. He turns and walks way as Jackson gets out of the car behind him. Jackson: Miss Pierce. I think you have some explaining to do. Foyle nods to Jackson and gets back into the rear seat of his own car. Jackson: Karl Strasser, Lieutenant Colonel Hoyt Jackson. I'm taking you into the custody of the United States Department of Justice. Pierce watches as Foyle's car, driven by Sam, leaves the airfield. Sam looks back at Foyle in the rear-view mirror. Sam: Where to, sir? Foyle: Good question.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "08x03 - Sunflower"}	foreverdreaming
OPENING CREDITS Southampton docks at night. The Eleanor Lee is docked. Air-raid sirens wail in the background. CAPTION: SOUTHAMPTON DOCKS 1942 Two young men, John and Albert Morton, hurry towards the ship in the dark. They hide behind a pallet of crates, one of which is lifted away by a crane. Albert has a bag and John a pair of jerrycans. Man (offscreen): Down there. John: You're gonna get us sht. Albert: What? John: We're at wr in Britain, they've got gn. He eyes a pair of men with rfles as they pass in front of the gangplank. Albert: It's a merchant ship, Johnny, no one's gonna see us. In-out... shake it all about. John: (You're mad.) Man (offscreen): Let's go. Albert: (Come on.) The two brothers dash across the dock and up the gangplank. They sneak through the corridors of a ship. Albert pauses outside the open door of a galley where someone is whistling. Albert: (He said number three. Go on.) They take a set of steps down to the cargo holds. Cargo hold. Crates are being lowered into place with ropes. Man: That's it. Come on, come on. Man: That's it. Man (offscreen): Take it easy. The two brothers sneak between a collection of barrels. Man (offscreen): Easy, buddy. Easy does it. Albert peers out from between the barrels at the men at work across the hold. Man (offscreen): All right, all right. Lower her down. Lower her down. Albert: Psst! High Castle. This is it. Come on. He gestures to the barrels around them, stamped with the name. Man (offscreen): Over there. John unzips the bag they brought with them. Captain's cabin. The harbour master hurries up a set of steps into the room. Harbour Master: Right, you're all set, Captain. Captain: Ah! Thank you. The harbour master gives him a list of the freight to sign and they shake hands. Harbour Master: Have a good journey. Captain: Thank you very much. An alarm is played throughout the ship. Albert and John hurry back up the steps from the hold, John coughing and spluttering. Albert: Go! Go, go! Come on! Come on. Captain's cabin. Captain: What the hell? He goes to look out through the doorway. Docks. The brothers run back down the gangplank. Albert: Come on. Come on. Man: Get after those guys! Two men run out onto the gangplank. Guard: Oi! He chases after them, blwing his whistle. Man: Hey, soldier! Soldier! They're thieves. The brothers run round the edge of a vehicle. John grabs onto it as he stops to throw up. Albert runs back to tug him along. Albert: Come on. They run away from the docks, the guard chasing after them with a torch. Guard: Oi! Oi! Oi! Hey! You there! Come here! Hey! Stop! I said stop! Albert hustles John around a corner. Albert: Come here. Come on. A pair of guards run after them. Guard: Come here now! Check over there! They run on past the brothers' hiding place without spotting them. Albert: Let's go. Let's go. They run off, John still coughing and retching. Hyde Park, early morning. CAPTION: FOUR YEARS LATER A man is walking his dog through the trees. He stops as he spots a dad man lying on the grass nearby, a wallet left open next to him. MI5 building. CAPTION: MI5 LONDON Sir Alec: His name was William Knowles. He stands behind the desk in his office, together with Pierce, Foyle and Valentine. Sir Alec: We found his passport. He was a professor at University College, London. Pierce: Looks like a straightforward robbery. Wallet was next to the body, cash had been taken. Foyle: If it's straightforward, why are you interested in it? Sir Alec: We found this in his top pocket. He shows Foyle a scrap of paper that reads "7 Carlyle Gardens, Kensington, 10.00". Sir Alec: 7 Carlyle Gardens. We are very interested in the man who lives there. Pierce: Clayton Del Mar. He's an American. Chairman of Global American Oil. Sir Alec: Well, let me make this absolutely clear, Foyle, our job is to protect Del Mar, he's one of us. A useful source of intelligence in the Middle East. Iran, Iraq, anywhere there's oil. We just need to establish that there is no connection between the death of this man Knowles and Del Mar. Foyle: Well, there'd appear to be a connection. When he was found? He picks up the scrap of paper with the address. Sir Alec: This morning, about nine thirty. Foyle: So he could have been klled around ten last night. Sir Alec: I just want to know why that address was in his pocket. Understand? Foyle: I do. He leaves, and Valentine follows him out. Valentine: William Knowles, eh? Should be right up your street. Foyle: What does that mean? Valentine: dad body, Knfe in the back. Nice, straightforward bit of detective work for you. Foyle: Noticeable overuse of the word "straightforward" this morning, bearing in mind nothing in this place ever is. Sir Alec's office. Pierce goes to leave the room. Sir Alec: Oh, wait. I want to talk to you about Foyle. Pierce: Yes? I think he's done a very good job. Sir Alec: Well, I don't deny it, but he's also done a great deal of damage, or have you forgotten Strasser? Pierce: Losing Strasser to the Americans was unfortunate, but that wasn't Foyle, that was Valentine. Sir Alec: Well, if I had my way, Valentine would have gone. Pierce: We can't lose our best operatives, Sir Alec. Sir Alec: No, but we have to control them or, rather, you do, Miss Pierce. Valentine's learned his lesson, but I suggest you find a way to keep an eye on Mr Foyle. Because the next time he makes a nuisance of himself, you'll be responsible. A terraced house, the new home of a Sam and Adam Wainwright. Sam brings in some washing from the line behind the house. She passes Adam on her way through the kitchen. Sam: I'm off, then. Adam: Sam? Sam (offscreen): What? Adam: The second bedroom. I've finished painting it. You haven't even looked. Sam: Oh, I'm sorry, Adam. I'll pop up now if you like. Adam: No, it's all right. He heads over to the breakfast table. Sam: Right. She follows him into the kitchen. Adam: You do still want to have this baby, don't you? Sam: What sort of a question is that? Adam: Well, you never talk about it. Sometimes, I think you're trying to pretend it's not happening. Sam: Adam, we're having a baby, I'm thrilled, it's what we always wanted. What's there to talk about? Adam: You haven't told them yet, have you? You haven't even told Mr Foyle. Why not? Sam: Do we have to do this now? Adam: I'd like to know. Sam: Because... Adam: You're gonna have to leave, you know that. Sam: I haven't told Mr Foyle yet because I don't want to. You have no idea. Adam: I know you'll miss it. Sam: Well, of course I'll miss it. Will you give up politics to sit in a room full of nappies and baby powder? Adam: That's not the same. Sam: Why not? It's exactly the same. I'll tell them when I'm ready and now, if you don't mind, I don't want to be late. She leaves, and the front door slams behind her. Adam: Oh. Outside. Sam walks along the street at a fast pace. Later. Sam is driving along with Foyle in the back of the car. Foyle: How would you like to swap jobs? Sam: Beg your pardon? Foyle: I'm just sick of this paperwork. You do it so much better than me, anyway. Sam: I've got quite enough of my own, thank you very much. Foyle: Yes. Of course you do. I wasn't being serious. Everything all right? Sam: I'm not quite myself, if you want the truth, but nothing to worry about. Quite the opposite. A grocer's shop on the corner. A line of women queue outside, chatting. The shopkeeper opens the door. Shopkeeper: Good morning, ladies. Come and get all you can. The women hurry inside. Woman: Ooh, yes. Sam and Foyle drive past. Foyle: It's on the left here. The car comes to a stop in front of a mortuary. Foyle: And Adam, is he all right? Sam: He misses being a PPS. And, of course, now all he thinks about is... his work. Nice start to the day. Foyle: I'll be five minutes. He gets out of the car and heads into the building. Pathologist (voiceover): He was klled some time... Inside. The body of William Knowles lies face-down on a table. Pathologist: ...close to midnight, at a guess. sab in the back, severing the spine. He would've died instantly. Foyle: Is there a suggestion, then, that he was running away? Pathologist: I wouldn't have said so. The entry wound is far too precise. This is someone who knew what they were doing. They must have crept up behind him and, er... Foyle: Right. Pathologist: He'd been abroad very recently. Foyle: Oh, yeah? How d'you know that? Pathologist: The contents of his stomach. I won't go into the gruesome details just now, but he's been feasting on rations that you won't find over here. At a guess, I'd say he's been with the Americans. Government building. Adam and Glenvil Harris walk through the corridors together. Glenvil: Did you hear him on the wireless last night? Adam: Who? Glenvil: Bevan. People underestimate him because of his class and the way he walks, but when you think of what he's achieved... They walk through into Adam's office. Glenvil: Are you all right? Adam: Oh. I was thinking about Sam. Glenvil: How is she? I haven't seen her for a while. Adam: Glenvil, there's something we haven't told you. She's expecting a baby. Glenvil: What? Adam! That's wonderful news. Congratulations. When's it due? Adam: It's, er, not for another six months. There's a knock on the door. Glenvil: That's great news. I'm really happy for you. A young woman, Vera Stephens, opens the door to look in. Stephens: Excuse me, there's no one outside. Glenvil: It's all right. Do come in. Take a seat. Stephens: Are you Mr Wainwright? Adam steps forward. Adam: Um, I'm Adam Wainwright. This is Glenvil Harris, my constituency chairman. How can I help? Stephens: Stephens. Vera Stephens. They shake hands. Stephens: I don't know who else to turn to, Mr Wainwright. I've been to my trade union, the Citizens Advice Bureau, and no one wants to know. Adam: Well, what's happened? Stephens: I work at Richardson's, d'you know them? She sits down. Glenvil: The wireless factory? Stephens: That's the one. Adam sits down opposite. Stephens: I started working there two years into the wr. They were glad to have us then. Adam: Us? Stephens: Women. I did very well for myself, worked my way up to supervisor. £8 a week, two weeks holiday, thank you very much. And then, a few weeks ago, Mr Richardson calls me into his office and tells me straight to my face that I'm back on the production line, on half the salary, 'cause there's a man coming in. He's given my job to a man. Where's the fairness in that? Adam: And you say that your union representative can't help? Stephens: No one wants to help me, Mr Wainwright. Even my own husband seems to think it's reasonable. But I want my job and you're my MP. What are you going to do? Carlyle Gardens. Sam and Foyle drive up to the front gates of number 7. Sam gazes up at the house. Sam: Who lives here? Foyle: An extremely wealthy man who runs an oil company. Won't be long. He gets out and walks up to the front gate, ringing the bell. A man comes out to speak to him through the gate. Man: Name, sir? Foyle: Foyle. Man: All right. He opens the gate to let him in. Grant (voiceover): Good afternoon. Foyle (voiceover): Good afternoon. He's at the door speaking with Del Mar's right-hand man, Mr Grant. Foyle: I have an appointment with Mr Clayton Del Mar. Grant: Yes, Mr Foyle. Do come in. Foyle: Thank you. Inside. Clayton Del Mar leads Foyle through into the lounge. Clayton: Take a seat, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Thank you. Clayton: You're in the security service. Foyle: Yes. Clayton: Well, you must tell me how I can help you. You know, my pop was advising you guys back in the '30s. Foyle: Is that right? Clayton: Yeah. It's just a shame you didn't listen to what he had to say. He chuckles and goes to the sideboard to pour himself a drink. Clayton: He knew which way the wind was blwing. htler and the nzi. You know, this was a wr that could've been avoided. Drink? Foyle: I won't, thank you. Clayton: It was an economic wr. Depression, unemployment. What does the world do? Puts tariffs on global products. Makes it pretty much impossible for Germany to pay off its debts, you know? He sits down across from Foyle. Clayton: And the Versailles Treaty? That was crazy to start with. Made wr inevitable, and for what? 50 million people dad, maybe more. Anyway, you're about to say why you're here. Foyle: Yes, erm, looking for information about a man called William Knowles. Clayton: Knowles? Afraid I don't know him. Foyle: Found dad not far from here, in Hyde Park. Clayton: Very sorry to hear it. That's too bad. What's it gotta do with me? Foyle: He had... this in his pocket. He takes the scrap of paper out and hands it to Clayton. Clayton: Yeah, that's, er, that's my address all right. But he didn't come here. When was this? Foyle: Yesterday. Clayton: Ten o'clock yesterday? Well, I was just finishing dinner, then I went to bed. My wife was asleep, so was my father. He's an invalid. Foyle: Well, it would appear he had a meeting here with someone, wouldn't you say? Clayton: Lot of people try to get a bite of my time, Mr Foyle. Foyle: With a specific appointment, it looks like. Clayton: Ten o'clock. Foyle: Yeah. Er, we shouldn't, of course, assume it was ten at night. It could, er, well have been 10:00am yesterday, or even 10:00am this morning. Clayton: I don't assume anything, Mr Foyle. I've already told you I did not meet with this man. Why would you have any reason to believe that I'm lying to you? Who was he, anyway? Foyle: Er, he was a professor at University College. Clayton gets up to pour himself another drink. Clayton: Ah, well, my father and myself have given a lot of money to a lot of colleges. You give to the one and the others come begging. Ain't that the way with you limeys? But, er, I did not meet with your Mr Knowles. You're wasting your time, and, and, frankly, mine. Foyle stands up. Foyle: I understand. Thank you. Grant leads Foyle back out through the house. They pass Clayton's wife Edith as she heads up the stairs. Grant opens the door to let Foyle out. Grant: Good afternoon, sir. Foyle: Good afternoon. As he leaves and Grant closes the door, Clayton steps out into the hallway and approaches Grant. Clayton: Grant. You didn't deal with that business quite as I'd hoped. Grant: I did exactly as you asked. Clayton: You got the photograph, yes, but he also had my address in his pocket. Didn't you look? Grant: I did look, sir. Clayton: You missed it. Edith (offscreen): Clayton, I need your help. Clayton: Oh, what is it, baby? She comes back down the stairs and Grant moves off. Edith: I can't decide what to wear for dinner tonight. The Charatans. I've put out three dresses... Clayton: The Charatans? Edith: You know, from Long Island? We met them at the Ritz. Clayton: Yeah, yeah, I'll come see. She heads back up the stairs. Outside. Sam is sitting waiting in the car. She watches as a man, Nikolei Leskov, comes out of the phone box near the gates of the Del Mar property and slowly walks away, turning to glance back at the house. A few moments after he passes her, Foyle returns and gets into the car. Sam: How was it? Foyle: Interesting man. Sam: Are we watching him, by any chance? Foyle: Not as far as I'm aware. Sam: Well, someone is. She watches Leskov in her rear-view mirror where he's stopped to light a cigarette. Foyle: Oh, yeah? He turns to look out through the window. Leskov turns and walks away. University College. Foyle walks up the front steps. Later. A porter leads Foyle through an archway into the main quadrangle. Porter: Professor Knowles' office is on the first floor in the main quad. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Porter: Is he all right? Foyle: When did you last see him? Porter: Er, he was here just the other day. Foyle: Which other day was that? Porter: That would've been Tuesday. He was in a bit of a hurry, just popped in and out again. Inside. The porter leads Foyle through the corridors of the first floor. Porter: He hadn't been here for two months. In fact, I was beginning to think he'd left altogether. Er, it's just here, sir. He unlocks the door to let Foyle into the office. Porter: I'll leave you to it. Foyle: Thank you. Porter: Let me know when you go. Foyle: I will. He walks into the office and closes the door behind him. Looking around the room, he sees there's an empty folder open on the desk. He closes it, and sees that it's marked DO NOT REMOVE. There's also a copy of Mein Kampf on the desk, which he lifts up to get a look at the book underneath. It's a chemistry text. The door opens, and Foyle looks up as Knowles' colleague Doctor Elizabeth Addis walks in. Addis: Can I help you? Foyle: Er, well, no, I'm managing quite well, thank you. Addis: Who are you? What exactly are you doing here, rummaging around in William's desk? How did you even get in? This door is usually locked. Foyle: The porter let me in. Addis: Why? Where's William? Foyle: How do you know Mr Knowles? Addis: You clearly don't know him at all. He's Professor Knowles. Foyle: Beg your pardon. Addis: We're colleagues. We're friends. I work next door. Foyle: Then I'm sorry to have to tell you that, er, Professor Knowles was found dad yesterday morning. Addis: What? Foyle: mrder. Addis: In Germany? Foyle: Is that where he was? Addis: I'm not going to tell you anything until you tell me who you are. Are you a policeman? Foyle: Not exactly. Er, I'm primarily someone trying to help, which is proving rather difficult. He was in Germany, is that right? Addis: In Nuremberg, as a translator. He was... working at the trials. Foyle: Ah. Which would explain this, then? He taps the copy of Mein Kampf. Addis: He was interested in the psychology of language, not the content. We're building an extensive archive on the rise of nzi from 1919 through to the start of the wr. We all know how it ended. It's important to understand how it all began. Foyle: Er, when was the last time you saw him? Addis: Are you interrogating me? Foyle: Well, of course not. Er, simply asking the questions that need to be answered in order to find out who klled him and why. Addis: I haven't spoken to him since he went to Germany. Foyle: Apparently, he was here on Tuesday and in rather a hurry, according to the porter. There'd have been a reason for him coming here. Addis: He must have visited the archive. Foyle: How would you know that? Addis: This shouldn't be here. Nothing's meant to be removed. Foyle picks up the empty folder to show her the serial number. Foyle: Serial number. Erm, does that mean anything? Addis: That's a photographic file. Foyle: Empty. Possible to find out, er, what it contained? Addis: I can have a look. Foyle: Thank you. D'you know where he lived? Addis: 11 Kathleen Crescent. Foyle: Was he married? Addis: Yes. Foyle: D'you know to whom? Addis: A dear friend. Her name is Hilary. Foyle: And yours? Addis: Elizabeth Addis. Foyle: Professor? Addis: Doctor. Foyle: Thank you. He moves to leave. Addis: And yours? Foyle: Foyle. Mister. He leaves. Kathleen Crescent. Sam and Foyle drive up to the house. Sam: So she was married for ten years? When did they tell her? Foyle: Yesterday. So, are you happy to do this? Sam: Yes, absolutely. Foyle: Good. They both get out of the car. Knowles sitting room. Hilary struggles to breathe as she talks to Sam while Foyle stands observing. Hilary: I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm on my own now. He was all I ever had, William. Not that he was ever here. Three years at Bletchley, the university, then Nuremberg. You'd have thought they could have found someone else who spoke German. Sam: I'm very sorry, Mrs Knowles. Hilary: He comes home for one day. One day, and then he goes and gets himself klled. She starts to cough. Sam: How long have you been ill? Hilary: I can't remember when I wasn't ill. Kidneys. I'm in pain, I, I find it hard to breathe. Oh, we spent every penny we had trying to make me better. Sam: But couldn't the university help? Foyle glances at the table, where Hilary's passport is lying out. Hilary: He had insurance, but that was no good to me. She takes the passport from the table. Hilary: Ten years we were married and we were happy together. Then this. Sam: Did he ever talk to you about his work? Hilary coughs. Hilary: He didn't want to say anything. I don't know why they're bothering with a trial. sh*t the lot and be done with it. Sam: So why did he come home? Hilary: He came to see me. He was worried about me. Foyle: He bring anything back with him? Documents, files? Hilary: He brought me a few things. He got them from the Americans. Soap and chocolate. And that. She gestures to a bottle of High Castle whisky that stands on the mantelpiece. Hilary: I don't know why he brought that. I don't even drink whisky. He doesn't like it either. Outside. Foyle turns as Sam comes out of the house after him. Foyle: Well done. Sam: Well, I don't know, she wasn't very forthcoming. Foyle: Well, she certainly wasn't telling the truth. Back street. A young man, Viktor Krasovsky, hurries along nervously, looking back over his shoulder. He sees Valentine standing in an open doorway up ahead. Valentine goes inside, and Viktor follows him. Valentine is lurking just inside the doorway and they begin to speak in Russian. Valentine (subtitled): How are you? Viktor (subtitled): I'm alright. Valentine (subtitled): You have something for me? Viktor (subtitled): Maybe. I don't know. Valentine (subtitled): I hope you're not wasting my time. He lays a hand on Viktor's shoulder. Viktor (subtitled): No, a man came yesterday, from Moscow. His name is Nikolei Leskov. He is Third Secretary. Valentine (subtitled): They're all Third Secretaries, Viktor. Viktor (subtitled): But this one is special. Valentine drops his hand from Viktor's shoulder. Viktor (subtitled): Maybe SMERSH or NKVD, I don't know. Valentine lays has hand back on Viktor's shoulder. Valentine (subtitled): Why is he in London? Viktor (subtitled): He is making contact with a businessman. An American. A big man. Very important. Valentine grips Viktor's chin in his hand. Valentine (subtitled): And the name of this American? Viktor: Clayton Del Mar. Global American Oil. Valentine: Clayton Del Mar. He pats Viktor on the shoulder, then gives him an envelope. Del Mar house. The maid, Mildred, is coming down the stairs with a tea tray as Clayton heads up. Clayton: Is he happy? Mildred: No, not really, sir. Clayton sighs. He reaches a door on the landing and knocks before letting himself in. Inside. Andrew Del Mar is sitting up in bed. Clayton (offscreen): I'm heading for the office. Andrew nods. Clayton: Oh, wish me luck. Andrew: What are you talking about? Clayton: I have this meeting today, Pop, you remember? The Iranian Soviet Oil Company. Andrew: Never call it that. It doesn't exist. Clayton: Right. Andrew: It's illegal. If you don't believe that, how will you persuade them? Clayton: Yeah. Andrew: And don't talk to them about law, Clayton. They're Arabs. What do they know about law? Talk to them about money. Clayton: I know, Pop. Andrew: Make them know they've been humiliated. Then, when you see the Shah, that's when you talk about the law. He starts to get out of breath and reaches for an oxygen mask on the chair next to him. Clayton (offscreen): I've got it. I know what I'm doing. Andrew takes a breath from the mask. Clayton: How are you getting on with, er...? Andrew: The Silver bllet. Clayton: I'll get Edith to come up and read for you. Andrew: No. I don't like the way she reads. I don't like her voice. Clayton: Oh, don't be like that, Pop. We're looking for someone. You shouldn't have gotten rid of the last one. Andrew: She annoyed me. Clayton: Doctor's coming in this afternoon. I'll come back up the moment I get back, okay? Outside. Clayton leaves the house and gets into his car. They drive up to the gates and one of the staff runs over to open them. Adam's office. Glenvil is at work at the desk while Adam stands speaking with union rep Horace Chorley. Chorley: Yes, so I met Mrs Stephens and I told her that there was nothing more I could do. Adam: But you are her union rep. Chorley: Well, we do represent the workers at Richardson's Wireless, but as you are well aware, we have no women members. Adam: Because you don't allow them. Chorley: All the unions in this sector are the same. Amalgamated Engineering do have some women members, but only on a temporary basis. Even so, I did intervene on Mrs Stephens' behalf, and she has me to thank for securing her a job on the assembly line. Glenvil: At half her previous salary. Chorley: Well, it's better than no job at all. 700,000 women have left work in the last year. Adam: Most of them left voluntarily. Chorley: Well, I think you're being a bit hypocritical, Mr Wainwright, with respect. It's your government that keeps closing down nurseries to force women out of work. Adam: That's not the reason. Glenvil: There are too many nurseries, they're underused, and they're too expensive. Chorley: Well. I've said my piece. Adam: Well, thanks for coming in, Mr Chorley. Chorley: D'you know what I think? And I'm not speaking here in an official capacity. But I don't know why women wanna work, anyway. It's not like the money's gonna be any use to them. There's nothing in the shops to buy and, right now, they've got more important things to do. Glenvil: What would these be, Horace? Chorley: We've got to increase the population. We lost too many men in that bloody wr. That's their job. He leaves. MI5 typing pool. Foyle walks through and approaches Patricia Scott at one of tables. Pierce is standing nearby. Foyle: How much do you know about whisky? Patricia: Not much, sir. I prefer Mother's ruin. Foyle: Yeah, I thought so. There's a whisky label called High Castle. See what you can find. Patricia: Sir. Foyle: And a woman called Elizabeth Addis, University College lecturer. See if we've got anything. Patricia: Right away, sir. As she walks off, Pierce gives her a nod. Foyle's office. He walks into the room. Foyle: Oh, I see. Valentine: I'm just keeping your seat warm for you. He's sitting behind Foyle's desk, smoking and reading a newspaper. Foyle: How thoughtful. What do you want? Valentine stands up as Foyle walks towards the desk. Valentine: There's a coincidence, might interest you. I have a low-level contact at the Soviet Embassy. Foyle: How do you know him? He sits down behind the desk. Valentine: Oh, bumped into him in a club. Not the sort of place his employers would like to know he frequented. Matter of fact, not the sort of place my employers would like to know I frequented, but, er, anyway, he's a waiter at the embassy, and according to him, a Soviet agent flew in recently, could be NKVD, at any rate highly regarded. Name of Leskov and he's doing business with your man Clayton Del Mar. Foyle: What sort of business? Valentine: He couldn't tell me, but I've asked him to dig a little deeper. Foyle: I thought Del Mar was with us. Valentine: So did I. Foyle: We should take a closer look at him. Valentine: This might help. They're advertising for a companion for Clayton Del Mar's father. He's an invalid. He opens up the newspaper to read. Valentine: "Single, intelligent woman wanted for conversation and companionship." Foyle: Oh, yes? And who might you have in mind? There's a knock on the door, and Sam pokes her head in. Sam: Sir? Foyle: No. He shakes his head at Valentine. Global American Oil building. Clayton Del Mar's car arrives outside. Grant and another man get out. Man: Are you ready? He speaks to the driver as Grant opens the door for Clayton. Man: Wait here for us. CAPTION: GLOBAL AMERICAN OIL HQ Clayton (voiceover): Gentlemen. Inside. He stands addressing a group of men around a conference table. Clayton: Stalin wants your oil. That's all he wants. He's offered to return your territories in Azerbaijan and Turkestan, but he will never do that. One of the men at the table is quietly interpreting as he speaks. Clayton: And, in the meantime, you have set up the company Iranian Soviet Oil and given him a 51% share in your oil. 51%. Forgive me, but that's crazy. Right now, in the Kremlin, he's laughing at you. Let me talk to His Majesty, the Shah. An audience in Tehran, that's all I ask. And believe me when I tell you that, right now, like it or not your interests should be with the British. The interpreter finishes and the man that he's sitting with nods. Building lobby. Leskov stands against a pillar, lighting a cigarette, as Clayton and Grant see the Iranian businessmen out. Clayton: Thank you so much for coming. Please convey my regards to the Shah and his family. It was a pleasure to meet you. He shakes hands members of the group. Businessman: Yes. Clayton: Thank you very much. Have a safe trip home. Thank you. Very nice to meet you. Thank you very much. Have a safe trip. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Leskov moves across to stand against another pillar so he can listen in as the Iranian group leave. Clayton: Well, Grant, I think I'm gonna need my passport. Leskov watches as the two of them leave. Wainwright house. Adam stands over Sam where she's sitting at the breakfast table. Sam: It's only for a few days. Adam: Anything could happen. If you'd told Mr Foyle the truth, he never would have asked you? Sam: The truth? Adam: The baby. Sam sighs and stands up and moves to leave the room. Sam: Mr Foyle didn't ask me, I volunteered! But that's not the point. She heads out to grab her hat from the hallway and goes into the sitting room to put it on in front of the mirror. Sam: I'm not going anywhere dangerous, I'm in Kensington, reading to an old man. Adam follows her into the room. Adam: I still say no. Sam: I wasn't asking your permission, Adam. Adam: Oh, I see. So you're going to do it anyway? Sam: It's my job. Adam: Well, that's not true. You're not a spy, even if you pretend to be. Sam: What? Adam: You're married to me now. You're expecting our child. I'm sorry, but you've got to grow up and start facing reality. She scoffs as he leaves the room. Sam: Well, if this is reality, then maybe I don't want it. She sighs. Adam clatters around in the kitchen. Sam heads out to the front door and opens it. Sam: By the way, I've seen the spare room. It's lovely. She leaves, slamming the door behind her as Adam stares after her. MI5 building. Sir Alec and Pierce walk down a staircase together. Sir Alec: I had a call from Clayton Del Mar. We're having luncheon together. Pierce: Oh, how very pleasant. Sir Alec: He's spoken to the Shah's advisers, and next week he flies to Tehran to meet the Shah himself. Pierce: How'd he manage that? Sir Alec: They went to the same school in Switzerland, apparently. Not at the same time. Pierce: I notice you didn't mention any of this to Foyle. Sir Alec: Should I have? Pierce: Well, it might have been relevant. They arrive at Sir Alec's office. As they head inside, the secretary outside gets up to follow them in with a piece of paper. Sir Alec: Well, need to know, and I rather doubt he does, truth be told. Any news on this man Knowles? He takes the paper from the secretary. Pierce: No, not yet. But Valentine's come up with something. He thinks your man may have been talking to the Soviets. Sir Alec: Clayton Del Mar? That's ridiculous. Pierce hands him a file as the secretary leaves. Pierce: The report. Sir Alec opens the file. Sir Alec: A waiter? I really think we can do better than that. What about that other matter we were discussing? Foyle. Pierce: I'm working on it. She heads out of the room. Pierce: Have a nice lunch. Office. Sam stands in front of Foyle as he paces. Foyle: I'm not at all sure about this. Sam: Sir, I, I'd like to contribute. I, I really do want to. Foyle: Yeah, I'm sure, but there are others here perfectly able to do this. Why you? Sam: It's about time I made myself useful. She looks over at Valentine, who's sitting on the sidelines. He looks down without getting involved. Foyle: But only on condition that somebody monitors this throughout, hmm? Valentine: I'll do it myself. Foyle turns to Sam as he heads out of the room. Foyle: Look after yourself. As he walks out, Patricia Scott stands waiting outside with a file. The door closes behind him. Sam: I haven't got the job yet. Valentine: Hmm. Sam: What happens if they don't pick me? Valentine: I rather think they will. There were no other applicants. We made sure of that. Come on. He opens the door for her. Patricia (voiceover): And that's about all there is. She's showing Foyle a set of papers on High Castle whisky in another office. Patricia: It's a malt whisky distilled in Tain. Very popular with the Americans. Foyle: You're absolutely right. He heads out of the room and she walks along the corridor with him. Patricia: And Elizabeth Addis. Total clearance. Two years in the Cairo office. Planning assistant to Lord Glenconner and then Major General Stawell. Then she came back to London, advising on SOE Middle East affairs. Husband died in a car accident, no children. Foyle: Right. Thank you. A street of industrial buildings. Adam and Glenvil walk along together. Adam: What do you think of Vera Stephens? Glenvil: Attractive woman. Adam: Am I right to be supporting her? Glenvil: Why d'you ask? Adam: Just not sure. Glenvil: You have a wife who works. Adam: That's different. Glenvil: Is it? You either believe in something or you don't. That's what impressed us about you when we first met you, Adam. You knew exactly where you stood. Here we are. Richardson Wireless. Cyril Richardson leads them past a production line. Richardson: We did our bit during the wr, Mr Wainwright. We moved from domestic production into radar. The triodes and vacuum tubes manufactured here were installed all along the coast. And I'm proud of that. He leads them into his office. Adam: Well, no one's doubting your wr record, Mr Richardson. Richardson closes the door behind them. Richardson: I just don't take very kindly to these accusations. Glenvil: We're not accusing you of anything. Richardson: Aren't you? Well, it seems to me quite high-handed, walking into my factory like this. Now, as for Mrs Stephens, I always knew she was trouble, right from the word go, that one. Adam: But she did a good job. Richardson: I don't deny it. She and many others who have gone home, and quite right too. Adam: But she didn't want to. Richardson: Look, I told her from the very start it was a temporary position. Adam: Well, that's not how Mrs Stephens remembers it. Richardson: I did what I could for her. A job on the production line. It was as much as she deserved. He turns to shout through the door. Richardson: George! He opens the door for employee George Buckingham, who has a brned face and a limp and is missing his right arm. George: You wanted to see me, sir? Richardson: George, I was wondering if those parts had arrived. George: English Electrics, sir? Richardson: Aye. George: No, I'm afraid not. I've been on at them. I can get them on the blower, if you like. Richardson: No, no, no, just, just keep me informed. Thank you. George leaves again and Richardson closes the door. Richardson: George Buckingham, our production supervisor, the man that Mrs Stephens replaced. He was with us for five years before he joined up. He was in Italy and he copped it at Anzio. That is how he came home. Now, Mr Wainwright, was I to tell him I didn't have a job for him? That I couldn't take him back? Or did I do the right thing? Now you tell me. University College archive. Addis shows Foyle a set of file folders at a desk. Addis: There were actually twelve pictures in a sequence. One is missing, which must be the one William took. This is the next. Foyle: There was a group of businessmen who supported the nzi called the Friends of Himmler. The photo shows a group of men in suits standing with two German officers. Foyle: Would these have anything to do with that, d'you think? Addis: Yes. They were taken in Berlin in 1939. These were essentially businessmen who were supplying the nzi Party with funds. Foyle: So not necessarily all of these men are German? Addis: Correct. There were honorary members and special guests. Dutch, American, even British. All looking to the Russian oilfields. If there was a wr and the Germans won, this would be their way in. Outside. Foyle and Addis walk through the university grounds together. Addis: But why would William have wanted to take that particular photograph? Foyle: Well, that's the question. How long had he been at Nuremberg? Addis: Two months. Foyle: And translating for whom? Addis: I'm sorry to say I have no idea. This is where I turn off. They stop walking. Foyle: Oh, yeah? Er, well, thank you for your help. He moves to go. Addis: Mr Foyle, excuse me. I spoke to the porter after you left last time. He said you were from the Home Office. Foyle: Well, that's what I told him. Addis: I assumed at once that meant the security service. Would I be right? Foyle: Yes. Addis: I was rather rude to you. Foyle: Not at all. Addis: I owe you an apology. Foyle: Accepted. Bye. He turns away. Cell block. A guard stands up from his desk with a set of keys as a doctor is escorted to the gate. CAPTION: NUREMBERG PRISON A sergeant walks past as the gate guards lets the doctor and his escort, Charlie, in. Sergeant: Hey, Charlie. Charlie: Sarge. The guard locks the gate again as they walk in. Cell. Prisoner Herman Linz is sitting at a desk writing. He turns as he hears someone unlock the door. The doctor walks in. Doctor: Guten tag, Herr Linz. Linz: Oh. Guten tag. Doctor: I understand you've not been feeling well? Linz: I want my letters. Why are they being kept from me? Doctor: I'm afraid it's not my job to distribute the mail. Linz: You're a doctor, hmm? Maybe you can help me. I'm a wealthy man. Doctor: I can ask the lieutenant. Linz stands up from the desk. Linz: Where's Mr Knowles? Doctor: I believe he's still in England. Linz: Mr Knowles has been very kind to me. He seems to be the only one who understands that all this, this trial, is a travesty. I'm not a soldier. I'm a businessman. The transport manager for a company known and respected all over the world. All the brightest people in Germany worked for IG Farben. People who have won the Nobel Prize worked for IG Farben and the Americans, back then, they would have done anything to get their hands on our technology. And now they do this to me! Why? He slams his hands on the desk. The guard steps up behind the doctor in the doorway. Linz: This is not justice. This is revenge. The doctor hands him a stack of books and papers. Doctor: I brought you something to read. Books and newspapers from London. Are you sleeping all right, Herr Linz? Linz: I sleep, I read, I sleep. Danke schön and get out. You can do nothing for me. He sits down at the desk. Linz: Raus hier! The doctor leaves and the guard locks the door behind him. Carlyle Gardens. Valentine parks his car. Sam is in the passenger seat. Valentine: I'll wait for you here. Good luck. Sam: Thank you. Valentine: Nervous? Sam: A bit. Valentine: Good. Keep you on your toes. She gets out and walks towards the Del Mar property. Clayton (voiceover): Yeah, you have excellent references... He stands in his study reading Sam's CV. Clayton: ...Miss Stewart. You were in the MTC during the wr? Sam's sitting opposite him. Sam: Yes. Clayton: And before that, a teacher. Sam: In Hastings. Clayton: Your father is a vicar. Sam: Yes, and I have an uncle who's a bishop. We're a very religious family. Clayton: Hmm. Unmarried. Sam: Shortage of men. Clayton: Of course. Enjoy reading? Sam: It's my favourite pastime, Mr Del Mar. Clayton: What in particular? Sam: Oh, anything I can get my hands on, really. Er, Agatha Christie, Ellery Queen. Clayton: Crime novels? Sam: Yes. Clayton: My father enjoys Seth Carter. Sam: Ah. Right. Clayton: Pop is a remarkable man, Miss Stewart. An exceptional human being. Sam stands up as he walks over to a portrait of his father on the door. Clayton: It was my grandfather who established Global American Oil in Dallas at the end of the last century, but it was my daddy who turned it into the worldwide corporation it is today. Sam: Mmm. May I ask why you're in London? Clayton: We have to look to the east. To the Middle East in particular, and to the Soviet Union. That's where the next wr will start. And it'll be a wr for oil. He points at a painting of an oilfield beside the sea. Clayton: Sadly, a few years ago, my father became ill. He has an infection of the heart, he hasn't long to live. Sam: I'm very sorry. Clayton: Well, he should be in Palm Beach, not stuck here in London, but he won't hear of it. Sam: I suppose family matters to him. Clayton: Business matters to him, Miss Stewart. He seems to think the moment he goes, it'll all fall apart. Sam: I'm sure you're very glad to have him here. Clayton: I honour him and I want his remaining years to be comfortable. I have to say, I am disappointed with the response I got from my advertisement, but I think you'll do swell. Shall we say a one-month trial? Sam: Thank you, Mr Del Mar. Clayton: Live-in, of course. Sam: I understand. Clayton: Grant? The door opens. Clayton: Will you take Miss Stewart upstairs to meet Pop? Grant walks in with a nod and gestures Sam ahead of him. Andrew Del Mar's bedroom. Mildred picks up a tea tray. Mildred: Thank you, sir. She goes to leave, and holds the door to let Sam and Grant in. Andrew: Who are you? Sam: I'm your new companion. Andrew: Sit down. Grant remains by the door as Sam takes a seat in an armchair at the foot of the bed. Andrew: Come closer, where I can see you. He coughs as she moves to a chair by the head of the bed. Andrew: What's your name? Sam: I'm Sam. Andrew: That's not a woman's name. Sam: It's short for Samantha. Samantha... Stewart. Andrew: You're very cute. She laughs a little. Sam: Thank you. Andrew: Read to me. He points to a book. Sam picks it up. Sam: The Silver bllet? He nods. She clears her throat and starts to red from it. Sam: "The Anderson place was on Olive Street, close by Sixth on the East Side. The wind was blwing the litter across the sidewalk and, as I climbed out of the car, I could hear a dog barking in a room above the Chinese launderette. And a blank-faced man stood outside, waiting." Andrew nods and looks at Grant. Andrew: She'll do. Grant nods. Sam: Thank you, sir. Andrew watches her as Grant holds the door for her to leave. MI5 building. Pierce and Foyle walk through the corridors together. Pierce: Nuremberg? Foyle: Yes, Knowles had come from Nuremberg. He went straight to the university archive where he removed a photograph. They head down a staircase together. Foyle: The photograph was of a group of businessmen who were nzi sympathisers. Pierce: Well, the police didn't find one on the body. Do you know the reason he was klled? Foyle: No. And we're unlikely to find it here. Pierce: So you're asking us to fly you to Nuremberg. Foyle: Well, that's where the answers are. Street outside the Wainwright house. Vera Stephens walks round and knocks on the front door. Inside. Adam opens the door. Adam: Mrs Stephens. Stephens: Can I come in? Adam: Er, you should really see me at the constituency office. Stephens: I've just come from there. I only live round the corner. Adam: Come in, please. He gestures her through into the sitting room and follows her in. Adam: Do, do sit down. Stephens: Oh. Adam: Sorry. He moves a briefcase off the armchair and they sit down opposite each other. Adam: I, er, haven't really made very much progress, I'm afraid. Would you like a cup of tea? Stephens: No, thank you. Adam: I've spoken to Horace Chorley at the union, and I've also been to see Richardson's Wireless. Stephens: I'm sure Mr Richardson told lies about me. He doesn't like me. Adam: To be fair to him, I'd say he was very honest and open-handed. Stephens: But he won't give me my job back. Adam: Your position has been taken by the man Mr Richardson says you replaced during the wr. Stephens: That wasn't what he told me. Adam: Well, as you are aware, your replacement Mr Buckingham was very badly injured at Anzio. Stephens: And I'm very sorry for him, but I don't see what that's got to do with it. Adam: I, I don't think there's anything more I can do for you. Stephens: You won't get me my job back? Well, you're the same as all of them. She stands up. Stephens: The boss, the trade union, the MP, the new supervisor. And, have you noticed? You're all men? Adam stands up. Adam: There are plenty of other jobs out there, I, I can help- Stephens: I don't want to be a teacher or a shop assistant. Adam: Maybe being at home. Stephens: I don't want to be at home! When I first got the job at Richardson's, it was a godsend. It was the first time in my life I actually felt worth something. Adam: Please. Stephens: And now it's been taken away from me. Adam: You're... Stephens: But you will help me. I know you will, please, I... She steps forward to bury her head against his chest and he pats her on the back. Sam opens the sitting room door and sees the two of them. Sam: Adam? Adam: Sam! She turns and walks straight back out, slamming the front door. Restaurant. A waiter leads Sir Alec and Clayton Del Mar into the room. Clayton: This is very nice of you, Alec. I bet you don't pay. Sir Alec: My department is always happy to show its appreciation. Clayton: I know. When did they make you Sir Alec? Sir Alec: Back in '43. Clayton: Services to spying? Sir Alec: No, I was at the Admiralty. Clayton: Well, maybe you can get one for me. Why not? You did it for Ike. Sir Alec: General Eisenhower received the Order of Merit, but that was honorary. Clayton: Forget it. I'm pulling your leg. They sit down at their table together as the waiter approaches with a bottle of wine. Sir Alec: We are grateful. Clayton: You should be. I've heard from Tehran. Waiter: Sir Alec? The waiter pours him some wine. Clayton: I'm going in next week. Sir Alec: Well, that's very good. Clayton: Very good. Ha! It's not every day you get an audience with the Shah. The way things are out there- Waiter: Sir? Clayton nods to him. Clayton: He's the only one who can untangle this agreement his government made with the Soviets. Sir Alec: But will he deal with us? Clayton: No. Last time he got into bed with you Brits, you were making three times as much profit out of tax revenue as the Shah was getting for his oil. Sir Alec: But he'll deal with you. Clayton: What can I say? We went to the same school. He takes a drink of his wine. Clayton: Hmm. You wanna stop Soviet expansion in the Middle East, Alec. That's what it's all about. Sir Alec: What can we do to help? Clayton: I'll let you know if I need anything. In the meantime, keep out of it. And by that, I mean right out, okay? I had a visit from one of your people. Sir Alec: Foyle. Clayton: I don't wanna see him again. I didn't like his style. Sir Alec: Well, his job is to protect you. A man was klled. Clayton: I have my own protection. Thanks anyway. Sir Alec: Foyle isn't even in the country at the moment. He's on his way to Nuremberg. Clayton: You don't say. They look at each other in silence a moment. Clayton: Anything happens to me, you can forget Iran. You know that. Sir Alec: I trust you completely. I don't suppose any of our other friends have tried to contact you? Clayton: Didn't know you had other friends. Sir Alec: The Soviets. Clayton laughs. Clayton: Why on Earth would I talk to them? Sir Alec: Oh, one of my people mentioned a name, Nikolei Leskov. Clayton: Never heard of him. Really. Sir Alec: But, if you hear from him, you'll let us know. Clayton: Of course. He raises his wine and they both drink. Del Mar house. Sam follows Mildred up the stairs. Sam: Lovely house. Sam (voiceover): "Finn was wrapped in a dark Shetland sports coat..." She sits reading to Andrew Del Mar in his room. It's dark outside the windows. Sam: "...with a blue and yellow scarf pulled tight around his neck. He had a snap-brim hat pulled so low over his eyes I was surprised he could see anything of the world around him, but maybe he preferred it that way." Andrew: That's enough. He coughs a little. Andrew: What did you say your name was? Sam: Sam Stewart. Andrew: Miss Stewart, talk to me. Sam: Talk? Andrew: You're being paid for your conversation. Sam: How long have you been like this, ill? Andrew: I'm dying. Maybe six months, maybe a year. Sam: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Andrew: I'm not. I met htler once, you know. Strong man. Great man. Great leader. Did what he had to. Made Germany strong again and gave the Germans back their self-respect. Sam: He lost the wr. Andrew: Now he's gone, there is no one. Stalin's a tyrant. Truman's weak. Hell in a handcart. Do you believe in hell, Miss Stewart? Sam: No, actually, I don't. Andrew: Then you don't know anything. Get out. I want to sleep. He settles down against the pillow. Sam gets up to leave. Staircase. Sam descends the stairs, but pulls back when she sees Mildred carrying a tray through the hallway below. Sam: Oh, hello. Mildred moves on and Sam continues through the house, following the sound of voices. Clayton (offscreen): Nuremberg means Linz. There can't be any other reason. Grant (offscreen): Can you reach him? Clayton (offscreen): It's all taken care of. Sam approaches the door of the study. Grant is visible through the door where it's been left ajar. Clayton (offscreen): Now, I'm in Iran next week, flying direct to Tehran. Grant: Yes, sir. Edith: Can I help you? Sam jumps and turns. Edith: That's my husband's den. Sam: Yes, I, I thought I heard him talking. Edith: You're not meant to go in there. Sam: Oh, I, I wasn't going to. Edith: I'm Edith Del Mar. Sam: I'm Samantha Stewart, I'm Mr Del Mar's new companion. Edith: I don't suppose you'll be with us for every long. None of them ever are. Clayton comes out of the study. Clayton: Oh, hello, honey. He looks at Sam. Clayton: What are you doing here? Sam: I was just explaining to your wife, er, I was just taking a look around. Clayton: Does my father not need you? Sam: No, he said he's had enough for today. Clayton: Then maybe you should go to your room. Sam: Right. She walks away. Clayton: Was she listening? Edith: Oh, no, dear, I don't think so. She was just wandering around. He heads back into the study, closing the door behind him. Nuremberg. Foyle approaches the Palace of Justice through the snow. CAPTION: NUREMBERG PALACE OF JUSTICE Deakin (voiceover): How was your flight? Foyle (voiceover): Well, RAF transport, and all that that means. Foyle walks through a corridor with lawyer Alan Deakin. Foyle: What's your role here? Deakin: I'm an observer, here to ensure that everything's fair and square. How about you? Last time we met, you were a police officer, or pretending to be. What is it now? Foyle: D'you know, I'm not at all sure? So you knew William Knowles. Deakin: Yes, of course. He was a translator here, quite close to some of the prisoners. Too close, if you ask me. You look worn out. Would you like coffee? He points to a room on their left. Foyle: I wouldn't say no. Thank you. Break room. Deakin pours Foyle a cup of coffee. Deakin: We're like a family here. Lawyers, translators, typists, screeners, secretaries, doctors and psychologists. In the end, we all sort of muck in together. He hands Foyle the cup of coffee. Foyle: Thank you. Deakin: We're not dealing with nzi bigwigs any more. Now it's Germany's industrialists. There's a view that some of them should be tried for their part in the wr. Foyle: Is that your view? Deakin: Oh, I don't have a view, Mr Foyle. Studied neutrality, that's my watchword. Foyle: And, er, how many prisoners are there? Deakin: There's twelve of them down there at the moment. Of course, they don't see things our way. They don't think the wr or politics was anything to do with them. For them, it was just business. Foyle: Knowles was too friendly, you say? Deakin: That was my observation. Foyle: With anyone in particular? Deakin: Herman Linz. He doesn't really need a translator, speaks pretty good English. Works for IG Farben. Well, they all do. Foyle: Possible to see him? Deakin: He was put in the hospital wing a couple of nights ago. He had some sort of an attck in the early part of the evening, but he should be in his cell by now. I'll take you down there. Cell block. A set of keys exchange hands. Someone approaches Linz's cell and unlocks it. He's sitting at the desk, looking at a photograph of himself with a woman. He turns as the door opens, but there's no one in the doorway. He gets up and goes to the door to look out. Foyle (voiceover): Apart from Knowles... He and Deakin walk through another hallway. Foyle: ...does Linz have contact with anyone else outside? They head down a staircase. Deakin: Er, his lawyer. Erm, and they're allowed one letter a week. No parcels. Every aspect of life is strictly regulated here. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Deakin: Showers once a week, 30 minutes' exercise, even the way they sleep. Cell. A man in a military uniform leaves Linz's cell and locks the door. Cell block. Deakin and Foyle follow one of the GI guards towards the cells. Deakin: They can't face away from the door. We keep a light on them all bloody night. Here, this is him. Their escort unlocks the door. GI: Looks like he's asleep, sir. Deakin: Herr Linz, I have a visitor for you. Linz is visible through the observation, seated slumped with his back to the door. As the GI unlocks it, it's visible that Linz is dad, his front soaked in blood. There's a pool of it on the floor at his feet. As the GI taps him on the shoulder, he slumps forward. GI: Ah, Jeez! He runs out of the door to shout. GI: Daley! Open the gates! An alarm bell begins to ring. Foyle studies the scene. The mrder wapon, a small blade, lies in the pool of blood. Deakin follows him in, staring. Foyle sees that Linz is lying dad atop a newspaper article about Knowles being found dad in London. MI5 building. A lift opens and Pierce strides out. Man: Morning, ma'am. Pierce: Oh, morning. She hurries on to where Sir Alec is standing reading a document at his secretary's desk. Pierce: Sir, Linz is dad. Sir Alec: Linz? Pierce heads into his office and he follows her in. Sir Alec: Do I know that name? Pierce: Well, you ought to. William Knowles was his translator at Nuremberg. She lays a report on his desk. He groans. Sir Alec: Bloody Nuremberg. We do not need these industrialists in jail, we need them out and rebuilding their economy. Pierce: It's an extraordinary breach of security. Sir Alec: I have nothing to do with security at Nuremberg. Pierce: No, but you have a great deal to do with Clayton Del Mar. Sir Alec: I hope you're not suggesting what I think you're suggesting, Miss Pierce. Pierce: I'm just saying if there was a link between them, it's quite a coincidence. Sir Alec: Is that what Foyle believes? Pierce: Foyle's still in Nuremberg. Sir Alec: Well, bring him home. If this man Linz is dad, there's no reason for him to stay. Pierce: Sir, I know that Del Mar is important to us, but just how far will we go to protect him? She leaves. Del Mar house. A phone rings in the den. Clayton goes to pick it up. Clayton: Yes? Understood. He puts the phone back down. Wainwright house. Adam is painting a cot when he hears the sound of the door. Adam: Sam? He goes out into the hall, but sees it was just a newspaper delivery. Del Mar house. Sam shuts herself into the porch, then picks up the phone and dials. She keeps an eye out through the windows in the glass door as she picks it up. Sam: Mr Valentine. She hears someone coming and quickly lowers the phone, pretending to be adjusting her hat, before raising it to her ear again. Nuremberg. Deakin is talking with the doctor in a hallway. Doctor: I judged he was fit to be returned to his cell. Deakin nods and the two of them head off in opposite directions. Typing pool. Foyle sits at one of the empty desks with the bloodstained newspaper. Deakin approaches him. Deakin: I cannot imagine how this could've happened. su1c1de should be impossible here. Er, the prisoners are searched from head to toe every time they return to their cells. It's- it, it shouldn't have happened. Foyle: I can see that. Deakin: This isn't about retribution, Foyle, it is about justice. The IG Farben factory at Monowitz was built using labour from the Auschwitz camps, and the Reich's wr machine urgently needed the synthetic rubber and the oils which the factory produced. Thousands of people died in that process in the most appalling conditions. Linz worked as a manager at that factory and he must have known what was happening. The world needs to know what these men did. Foyle nods. He places the newspaper in front of Deakin. Foyle: He had some kind of seizure you say, is that right? Deakin: Er, yes. Foyle: Then this is a coincidence is it, that this report of William Knowles' death is on the table in front of him as he dies? Where would he get this? Deakin: Erm, well, they are allowed newspapers. It's pretty rare to get one from London. Erm, do you think that was enough to...? He was very upset. In fact, he was nearly hysterical. Flashback. A GI leads Deakin through the cell block. Linz can be heard shouting in the distance. GI: I don't know, sir, he was reading a newspaper. All of a sudden, he starts shouting and banging at the door. Linz's cell. The doctor and two of the guards restrain him as he shouts. Linz: Let me go! Doctor: It's all right. Stay calm. Linz: Du verstehst nicht! Doctor: Please. Linz drops back into his chair as the doctor guides him down. Deakin arrives. Deakin: What is it? What's going on? Linz: Deakin, you have to help me. You have to protect me. Hören Sie zu, bitte. He grabs the front of Deakin's jacket. Linz: In my office. Der Hollander, dahinter. He mutters something indistinct in German. His view of Deakin is beginning to blur and wobble. Linz: You have- you have to get it for me. He collapses to the floor. Deakin: What have you done to him? Doctor: I just gave him a sedative. Foyle (voiceover): What was he saying? Cut back to the present. Foyle: Remember anything he said? Deakin: He was going in and out of German. He said something about someone at his office. "Der Hollander", the Dutchman. Foyle: Do we know any Dutchmen? Deakin: "The Dutchman was behind it." He, he wanted me to find something in his office. Er... Foyle: Where's his office? Deakin: It was at the factory at Monowitz. Erm, he didn't get away in time and they arrested him there. Perhaps that's what he meant. Foyle: Can we go to the office? Deakin: Well, it wouldn't be easy. Er, it's through the Soviet zone and it's a hell of a hike. We'd need to fix the permits, but I suppose it could be done. Erm, I thought your people wanted you back? Foyle: Yeah. They can wait. He picks up a cup of coffee from the desk and takes a drink. Del Mar house, night. Sam lets herself out of the door and hurries across the grounds. Andrew Del Mar's bedroom. There's a knock on the door and Clayton enters. Clayton: Gonna be leaving in a few days, Pop. You gonna be all right? Andrew: You think I can't manage without you? Clayton: That's not what I said. Andrew: You think you're ready, don't you? Think you can run this company without me. Clayton: I hate talking to you when you're like this. Andrew: Did you kll Williams Knowles? Clayton, about to leave, steps back in and closes the door. Clayton: Who told you about that? Andrew: I know everything that happens in this house. Just answer me. Clayton: I dealt with him. Andrew: It was stupid. Clayton: What else could I do? I was trying to clear up the mess you had made. Andrew: Mess? Clayton: You know what I mean. Andrew: I founded this company. I made this the second-largest petroleum corporation in the world. What I did, I did to protect its interests. Clayton: You backed the wrong horse, Papa, the Germans lost the wr. Andrew: I backed all the horses, Clayton, that's what brought us through. And now I have to sit here and watch it being lost to a boy who can't even choose his own tie. He starts to cough. Clayton: You read your book, Papa. Where's that new girl? Andrew: I don't trust her. Clayton: What? Andrew: One reply to your advertisement, Clayton? One reply? Doesn't that tell you something? Clayton: You're crazy. He leaves. Still coughing, Andrew reaches for his oxygen mask. Outside. Sam joins Valentine outside the gates. Sam: I'm afraid I haven't got anything much to report yet. Valentine: Doesn't matter. We just want to know you're safe. Sam: Well, I don't know about that. The house is a fortress. There's a high wall around the grounds and a permanent sentry at the front gate. The father is creepy and Mr Del Mar's a little bit mad. Valentine: Have you heard anything? Sam: Clayton Del Mar's off to Tehran in three days. That's Iran, isn't it? Valentine: Yes. Do you know why he's going? Sam: He didn't say. I don't know what else I should be looking for. Valentine: We think there might be a photograph in the house. Group of men, possibly with Himmler, taken in 1939. It would tie in Clayton Del Mar with William Knowles. Sam: I suppose I could take a quick snoop in the study. Valentine: Quick as you can, before he leaves. If you need any help, put something in the window at the front, where we can see it. Sam: Like what? My hat? Valentine: Yeah, that'll do. But only if you're in trouble. We'll be right there. Sam: Right. She heads back towards the house and Valentine turns away. Del Mar house. Sam walks in through the open door, greeting the man waiting in the porch. Sam: Hello, George. She stops as she sees Clayton's waiting as well. Clayton: Miss Stewart, where have you been? Sam: I was just getting some air. Clayton: My father's been waiting for you. Sam: Right. I'll go right up, Mr Del Mar. Clayton turns to George. Clayton: Keep an eye on her, okay? George nods and closes the front door. Adam's office. He's speaking on the phone. Adam: Yes, Samantha Wainwright. Please ask her to contact me as soon as she can. Thank you. Goodbye. He puts the phone down. Back street. Valentine stands in the doorway smoking. Viktor comes round the corner and speaks to him in Russian. Viktor (subtitled): This is the last time I am coming. There is nothing more I can tell you. Valentine steps towards him. Valentine: (subtitled): Wait a minute... Viktor (subtitled): No. You do not understand. They know. It's too dangerous. Leave me alone. He starts to walk away and Valentine follows for a few steps before giving up and heading the other way. As Viktor rounds the corner, he finds Leskov waiting for him. Leskov (subtitled): Viktor. Tell me about your meetings. Viktor (subtitled): Comrade Leskov, let me explain... IG Farben factory, Monowitz. CAPTION: MONOWITZ CONCENTRATION CAMP, POLAND. A car drives up and parks in front of a barbed-wire fence near the factory building. Foyle and Deakin get out. Deakin: This is the factory. Auschwitz is six miles away. So, by the time the inmates had marched all the way over here, they were too exhausted to work. He points through the fence. Deakin: So they built this place... for convenience. He and Foyle stand looking at the camp buildings. Deakin: Monowitz. They paid the SS four Reichsmarks a day for skilled labourers, three for unskilled. There were children too. They were filthy, they were starving, they were covered with lice, vermin. When they couldn't work any more, they were sht. 10,000 had died by the time I came here. I spoke to some of the survivors. You have no idea. They turn away and start to walk towards the factory. Factory. Deakin and Foyle are walking through the grounds. Deakin: Every day, reports were sent from Monowitz to the head office at Frankfurt. They knew. They knew perfectly well how the chemicals were being produced, but they didn't care. It was necessary, it was good for business. IG Farben built the planes, they made the bmb, they made the furnaces, and the Zyklon-B crystals that were used in the gas chambers. He points at a set of crates. Deakin: Without them, htler would never have got off the starting blocks. And Linz was one of them. His office is this way. Inside. Deakin leads the way up a staircase. Deakin: I have a feeling we're wasting our time. The nzi were fanatical record keepers. They, they burnt everything when they realised the Allies were on their way, and we grabbed the rest. They enter a room at the top of the stairs. Foyle: So this is the office. The room has mostly been stripped apart from a few items of furniture and some empty file folders scattered around. Deakin: This is it. Foyle looks around. Foyle: Yeah. Well, he sent you here for a reason. Obviously wanted you to find something that he thought would... He opens a metal cabinet. Foyle: Help him? Save him? Deakin: Save him? He committed su1c1de. Foyle: Did he? He was klled. As was Knowles, as a result of whatever Linz had asked him, told him to do. Otherwise, why did he come to England? There are a couple of theatre posters on the walls. Foyle notices a framed poster for a production of Der Fliegende Holländer, hung slightly askew. Foyle: Dutchman. What did he say? Deakin: He said a Dutchman was behind it. Foyle: The Flying Dutchman? There's a Dutchman behind it? Or is it behind the Dutchman? Deakin goes over and takes the frame off the wall. The wall behind it is blank. Deakin: Nothing. He sets it down and removes the picture next to it. Deakin: No secret compartment. Foyle picks up the framed poster and removes the backing. Inside is a file folder. Foyle: Right. Well. He opens it. There's some paperwork, as well as a photo of Linz and another man standing in front of a set of barrels. Foyle: Is that Linz? Deakin: That's him. Foyle: Who's the other? Deakin: No idea. Foyle: How's your German? Deakin: I can get by. Foyle: Schiff. Boat, correct? Deakin: Uh-huh. Foyle: Die... He shows Deakin a form with a typed list. Deakin: Prämie. Bounty. It's a shipping order. Foyle pulls out another document, a brief letter. Foyle: Some English. The Eleanor Lee. Another boat? Deakin: Mm-hmm. Foyle: Could be. Seafront. Valentine approaches the water and shows his ID to a uniformed policeman. Policeman: All right, sir. Valentine approaches two more policeman, standing by a body that's been hauled from the water. He sighs. Valentine: Viktor. MI5 building, Foyle's office. Foyle studies another photo of Linz with a magnifying glass, looking at the barrels. One is marked TETRAETHYL-something, another has the word "Castle". He sets the a magnifying glass down and looks at a textbook entry on Tetraethyl Lead. There's a knock at the door and Patricia steps in with a file folder. Patricia: The Eleanor Lee. Foyle: Yes? Patricia: She was an American merchantman on her way to New York via Tenerife. This is a copy of the manifest. She hands him a sheet of paper. Patricia: Basically, we were selling everything we could for the wr effort. Foyle: Including 2,000 gallons of whisky? Patricia: Wasted on the Americans, if you ask me. There was an attempted robbery to steal it the night she sailed. Er, two local lads. Oh, one of them died inexplicably quite soon afterwards. The other one is still alive. Lives in a caravan on the Southampton Docks. This is as close as we've got. Foyle: Very good. Patricia: But you might like to know that the ship was owned by- Foyle: Global American Oil? Patricia: Yes. Foyle: Well done. Thank you. She leaves. Del Mar house. Grant accompanies Clayton out to the car. Clayton: You stay here, Grant. Grant: Yes, sir. Inside. Sam comes down the stairs. A vacuum cleaner is running. There's a knock on a door. Edith (offscreen): Clayton? Where's Mr Del Mar? Mildred (offscreen): I'm afraid you just missed him, milady. Edith: Oh. Edith walks into the sitting room as Sam reaches the bottom of the stairs. Edith: Fine. Mildred, have you cleaned the grate in Mr Andrew's room? Sam approaches the half-open door. Mildred (offscreen): Oh, yes, of course. I'm so sorry, I... I'll do it at once. Edith (offscreen): Well, I'll come with you. I wonder if we need to get that chimney swept. Sam watches from the doorway as Edith walks through into another room. Edith (offscreen): He suffers so much with the dust. Sam slips in through the door. A moment later Grant steps up into the doorway. He watches as she heads through the room and into the study. Study. Sam starts going through the desk drawers. Hallway. Grant steps through the doorway into the sitting room. Study. Sam rfles through another drawer. She finds the photograph and pulls it out to look at. Grant (offscreen): What are you doing in here? Sam straightens up, clearing her throat, and hides the photo down by her side. Sam: I was just looking for Mr Del Mar. Grant: He's clearly not here. Sam: Well, he was a minute ago, I heard him. Grant: What do you want him for? Sam: I need to buy some more books for Mr Del Mar Senior. Grant: I'll tell him you were here. Sam: Thank you. She slips the photo into her pocket as she walks out past him. Hallway. As George heads through a doorway to the left, Sam goes out into the porch, shutting the door behind her. She tries the front door, but finds that it's locked. She comes back out into the hall just as George returns. She makes her way back upstairs to her room and grabs her hat, wedging it into the window frame. Southampton. Foyle walks along the docks towards Albert Morton's caravan. Albert walks over to meet him. Later. The two of them stand side by side looking out to see. Albert: It was just a lark, really. That was all. 40 barrels of malt whisky. D'you know what that would've been worth? They turn and start walking along together. Foyle: How did you even know it was there? Albert: Friend of a friend. We were gonna nick it. Not all of it, just a couple of jerrycans, that was it. Johnny didn't even wanna be there. He always did what I said. Poor sod. Foyle: Tell me what happened. Albert: We managed to get onto the boat. Flashback to the night of the attempted robbery. Albert (voiceover): Guards, soldiers. Albert: Let's go. The two brothers run towards the boat. Albert (voiceover): They were useless. We snuck down to hold number three. Albert: This is it. Go on. Albert (voiceover): That's where we knew we'd find it. Albert touches a barrel. Albert: This is the one. Here, go on. He feeds a tube into the top of the barrel. Albert (voiceover): We were gonna suck the whisky out. A vacuum. We did the same thing when we were half-inching petrol from cars. Albert: (Here, do it.) He hands the other end of the tube to John, who starts sucking on it to draw the contents out. Albert (voiceover): But then it all went wrong. John gags and starts to cough and splutter. Albert: (Shut up! John, what's wrong?) Albert (voiceover): It was like he'd been punched in the throat. John coughs. Albert (voiceover): He couldn't breathe. Man (offscreen): Hey! Albert (voiceover): They heard us. Man (offscreen): Who are you? Albert (voiceover): So I grabbed him and we scrammed. A group of men run after them. Man: Hey! Get back here! Caravan. Foyle sits listening to Albert's tale. Albert: John was as sick as a dog that night. I thought he was going to die. But, the next day, he seemed a bit better. A few days after that, he was back on his feet. Foyle: Then what? Albert: We got nicked. Bogeys know who we were and we got picked up. Both given a birching. We were lucky it weren't Borstal. Johnny was never really the same after that. He'd have these fits. And then, one day, he just died. But I'll tell you something. Whatever was in those barrels, it weren't bloody whisky. Mortuary. Foyle is talking with the pathologist from before. Foyle: Tetraethyl lead? Pathologist: Yes, quite possibly. The sickness, memory loss, fits of anger, convulsions, death. You said the ship was owned by, um, who was it? Foyle: Global American Oil. Pathologist: And this young man sucked the liquid from out of a barrel? Foyle: Assuming it was whisky, that's right. Pathologist: It would've been absolutely frightful. How very sad. Foyle: Tetraethyl lead, er, is a fuel additive, is that right? Pathologist: Well, whatever it is, it's deadly stuff. Del Mar house, night. Clayton heads into the study, followed by Grant. Clayton: She was behind my desk? Grant: That's right. She said she was looking for you, but I didn't believe her. I have to say, I had my doubts about her from the start. Clayton: Well, that's very perceptive of you, Grant. So what did she want? He checks the desk. Clayton: his drawer is open. She pulls it out and rfles through, then sighs. Clayton: She's taken the photograph. Grant: You kept it? Clayton: You watch your place, Grant. The doors are all locked? Grant: Yes, sir. Clayton: She can't get out. Let's find her. Staircase. Clayton heads up the stairs and into his father's room. Clayton: Have you seen her? Andrew: Who? Clayton: You know, Pop, the girl. Andrew: Oh, cottoned on to her at last, have you? You took your time. Clayton: Yeah, Papa, you were right. You're always gddmn right. Andrew: You can't manage without me, Clayton, that's your problem. Staircase. Sam hurries down the stairs past the door while the two of them are arguing. Andrew's bedroom. Clayton: Without me, you'd just lie there and rot. He turns and leaves, heading on up to the floor above. Back stairs. Sam makes her way down the spiral staircase. Clayton (offscreen): Grant! As Sam arrives at the bottom, she sees Edith talking with Mildred in front of the back door Edith: And you must be able to be finished by ten. Mildred: Yes, all right. Edith: Thank you. Mildred: Ma'am. She leaves. Edith: Hello. Sam: Hello. Edith: Are you looking for something? Sam: Actually, I'm trying to get out. Clayton (offscreen): Grant, where are you? Edith: The doors are all locked. Clayton (offscreen): Well? Edith: Clayton has the keys. I can call him if you like. Sam: No! Don't you have any of the keys? To that one? She gestures to the back door. Edith: Are you in trouble? Sam: Yes. I think I am. Clayton (offscreen): Have you checked the back stairs? Well, check again! There's the sound of approaching footsteps. Edith reaches for a set of keys on an upper shelf and gives them to Sam. Sam: Thank you. She goes over to the door to let herself out. Sam: Oh. Edith turns and begins tidying the shelves. As Sam gets the door open and runs out, Grant comes on. Grant: Where is she? Edith: Who? Grant heads for the open door. Outside. Sam walks through into a cluttered storage area Clayton (offscreen): Check the rooms out the back! Man (offscreen): She's not in there! Sam: Oh... She hurries off to one side and flattens herself against the wall as Grant comes through after her. He walks on past. Grant: Miss Stewart? You can't get out. After a look around he turns and goes back in. Sam lets out a breath and then moves on. As she runs round to the outer door, Grant comes back out. Grant: Miss Stewart? Clayton (offscreen): Grant! Sam opens the door and runs out into the grounds. Grant follows. As she runs across the grass, he follows at a walk. She reaches the front gates and grabs the padlock to unlock it. Grant: Mr Del Mar wants to see you, Miss Stewart. Sam: Well, I'm afraid he can't, I'm leaving. Grant: Afraid not. He draws a gn and aims it at her. Sam looks up, panting, but keeps trying to unlock the padlock. Grant: Come away from the gate, get inside. Sam: Nope! There's the sound of another gn being cocked. Valentine steps up presses a pstol against Grant's neck. Valentine: Actually, Miss Stewart is coming with me. He lowers Grant's gn arm with his other hand. Sam: Oh. As Clayton comes out of the house behind them, Valentine walks round Grant and backs over to join Sam, keeping the gn trained on him. Valentine: Well done. Open the gate. Sam gets it unlocked and pushes it open. Sam: Got it. How'd you get in? Valentine: Piece of cake. Sam: Oh. As the two of them make their escape, Grant heads back towards Clayton, who stands watching them go. Daylight. The phone box outside the gates of the Del Mar property rings. Leskov checks his watch, then enters and picks up the phone, answering in Russian. Leskov (subtitled): Yes? Man on Phone (subtitled): Who is this? Leskov (subtitled): Leskov here. Man on Phone (subtitled): What is happening? Leskov (subtitled): The Shah has agreed to meet him. He turns to look at the house as two policemen escort Grant out of the front door. Man on Phone (subtitled): Impossible. You know what to do. Leskov (subtitled): Del Mar definitely leaves today. Man on Phone (subtitled): Do it! Leskov (subtitled): Very well. I will see to it. He goes to hang up the phone. A police car drives away from the grounds as Leskov comes out of the phone box. He looks towards the Del Mar house, then turns and walks the other way. Street outside the Wainwright. Adam is walking home. Wainwright house. Sam sits in an armchair in the sitting room, putting her wedding and engagement rings back on. The front door opens. Adam (offscreen): Sam? He walks into the sitting room. Adam: Sam, I'm so glad to see you and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Sam: So am I. Adam: That woman who was here, she was absolutely nothing to me. She was a constituent and I should never have let her in. Sam: I shouldn't have stormed out. Adam: Well, I've been beastly to you. Will you forgive me? Sam: Of course I'll forgive you. Will you forgive me? Adam: What for? She stands up. Sam: Well, you were right, I... She sighs. Sam: I put myself in danger and I had absolutely no right to do that. The baby's too important. I'll tell Mr Foyle I have to give up work at once. Adam: No. I was wrong. I've been completely two-faced. On the one hand, I was defending the right of a woman I've never met to work in a wireless factory. And, on the other, I was... putting pressure on you to do something against your wishes. I know how much your work means to you. You shouldn't have to stop. Sam: Well, I'm gonna have to, eventually. Adam: In your own time. Sam: I'm glad I married you, Mr Wainwright. Adam: Not as glad as I am that I married you. She laughs and they embrace. Del Mar house. Edith walks through into Clayton's study as he sorts through documents. Clayton: I'm leaving for the airport now. You'll have to look after Pop. Edith: Why can't I come with you? Clayton: 'Cause you can't, there's no question of it. You shouldn't have given that key to that woman, Edith. When I get back, we'll talk about it. He walks away. MI5 building. Sir Alec (voiceover): So a photograph of Andrew Del Mar... He's holding the photograph, which shows Andrew Del Mar and two other men in suits standing with Himmler. Sir Alec: ...from some archive is at his house. That proves nothing. And what exactly was Mrs Wainwright doing at Clayton Del Mar's house? Pierce, Foyle and Valentine are all gathered in his office. Foyle: Reading. Sir Alec: She was unauthorised. She was spying on Del Mar and could have disrupted a hugely sensitive operation. Valentine: But she brought in that photograph, which directly links Del Mar in with William Knowles. It-, it's evidence that he had good reason to have Knowles mrder. Sir Alec: Well, we can't touch Del Mar, he's too important to us. Foyle: And I understand why. You want Iranian oil, and you need him to negotiate. Sir Alec: We have to counter the Soviet presence in the Middle East. It is not just about oil. It is about British influence in the entire region. Pierce: Del Mar can get an audience with the Shah and we can't. Sir Alec: We have nothing on Clayton Del Mar. Foyle: I disagree. Er, during the wr, the Del Mars not only supported htler, they actively contributed to the nzi wr effort. In 1942, one of Del Mar's ships left Southampton with 2,000 gallons of whisky bound for America. The barrels, however, didn't contain whisky at all. The whisky had been replaced with tetraethyl lead. Tetraethyl lead is an aviation fuel additive. Neither did the barrels ever reach America. They were unloaded at a stopover in Tenerife and reloaded onto a German vessel bound for Hamburg, where they were gratefully received by the Luftwaffe. What beggars belief is that this tetraethyl lead, without which the Luftwaffe couldn't fly, was manufactured in Britain by a subsidiary company of Global American, enabling the Luftwaffe to fly straight to Britain to decimate London and the rest of the country. Pierce: Have you got any proof of this? Foyle holds up a file folder, and walks over to set it on the table in front of Pierce. Foyle: This is the shipping order and details of the cargo being separated at Tenerife. Tetraethyl lead is listed as alcoholic spirits. Sir Alec: Where did you get these? Foyle: These were hidden in the office of the IG Farben employee who oversaw the shipment, Herman Linz. When he found himself on trial in Nuremberg, facing a probable death sentence along with other IG Farben employees, he thought this information would be sufficient to blackmail Del Mar into using his influence to get him released. Pierce: So he sent William Knowles back to London to put pressure on Del Mar? Foyle: Yes. William Knowles was bribed. Sir Alec: With what? Foyle: I don't know. Valentine: In the end, it doesn't matter. Del Mar had him klled. Foyle: He also arranged for Linz to die in his cell. I wonder how he did that. He turns to look at Sir Alec. Clayton (voiceover): I'll be back in a week. He stands in front of his father's bed. Andrew: You can't come back. Clayton: Is that what you think? They still need me, Pop, just like you do. I do this deal for them, I'm home free. And, you know, when I get back, maybe I'm gonna change things around this house. Maybe I'm getting tired of having you on my back all the time. You think about that. He walks out. Andrew: Clayton! Sir Alec's office. Foyle: And this is the man you're happy to have negotiate British interests in the Middle East? Sir Alec: Where's Del Mar now? Pierce: He's flying to Tehran later today. Sir Alec: Have you any idea how much it may cost us if this meeting does not go ahead? Foyle: Well, it's your decision. Sir Alec hesitates for a few brief seconds. Sir Alec: Bring him in. Foyle and Valentine turn to leave. Del Mar house. A taxi arrives at the gates. Leskov is approaching along the street as the taxi driver gets out and rings the bell. MI5 building. Valentine and Foyle walk through the corridors together. Valentine: Something else you should know. My Soviet Embassy contact's dad. Foyle stops walking. Foyle: How? Valentine: NKVD. Looks like we're not the only ones after Del Mar. They walk on around the corner. Del Mar house. A member of staff holds the gate open for the taxi to drive in. MI5 building. Valentine and Foyle leave the building and head down the steps towards a waiting car. Del Mar house. The taxi turns around in the ground and parks in the gateway ready to leave. MI5 building. Foyle gets into the passenger seat of the car and Valentine drives away. Del Mar house. Clayton comes out into the hallway where George is just about to pick up a briefcase and suitcase. Clayton: No, I'll take those. You look after Mrs Del Mar. He looks over at Edith standing across the hall as George opens the porch door for him. Clayton picks up the cases and walks out of the house. He whistles. Clayton: Driver! MI5 building. Valentine and Foyle drive around the corner of the building. Del Mar house. Clayton walks across the grounds to the taxi. Clayton: Bags? Leskov, standing by the car facing away from him and wearing the taxi driver's cap, doesn't react. Clayton sighs and puts his bags down on the ground. Clayton: Could've parked a little closer. As he goes round to get into the car, Leskov sab him in the back. Clayton groans and slumps to the ground. Leskov pulls the Knfe back out. Andrew's bedroom. He struggles out of bed, clutching at his chest, and moves to the window. Outside, Leskov gets into the car. He takes the cap off and places it on the head of the taxi driver, slumped d*ad in the passenger seat. Andrew watches helplessly from the window as Leskov drives away, leaving Clayton lying in a pool of blood. Street. Valentine and Foyle turn the corner towards Carlyle Gardens. Del Mar house. Andrew watches from the window as their car drives in through the open gate. They get out and Valentine jogs over to check Clayton's body for a pulse. Valentine: Looks like we're just a little bit too late. Foyle looks up at Andrew Del Mar in the window. Kathleen Crescent. Elizabeth Addis stands waiting by a car. Inside number 11. Hilary Knowles leads Foyle into the sitting room. He sees a pair of suitcases sitting by the door. Foyle: You're off, then? Hilary: Yes. Foyle: With your new passport? Hilary: William wrote to me. He told me to get it. Foyle: Anywhere nice? She doesn't answer. Foyle: Very easy to find out. Hilary: America. There's a new machine. It's called a dialyser. It can save my life. Foyle: Expensive. Hilary: Yes. Foyle: What did your husband bring back? She drops into a chair and sighs. She picks up a small medicine pot from the table, and opens it to reveal a handful of diamonds. Hilary: I can sell them in New York. They'll pay for my treatment. Foyle: You probably know where these came from. Hilary: Yes. Foyle: And that would be where? Hilary: Monowitz. Foyle: And you'd understand they don't belong to you. Hilary: But if you take them from me... I will die. Outside. Foyle walks back to the car where Addis is waiting. Addis: Will she be all right? Foyle: She'll be fine. They both get into the car. Foyle: Thank you for coming. Addis: What was it? Foyle: Diamonds. Addis: Did you let her keep them? Foyle: What would you have done? He starts the car and they drive away.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "09x01 - High Castle"}	foreverdreaming
OPENING CREDITS A newsreel from World Pictorial News titled TRAGEDY IN JERUSALEM. It shows footage of the damaged King David Hotel in Jerusalem. Newsreader: On the morning of Monday, the 22nd of July, Palestine and the world were shocked by the blwing up of the King David Hotel, Jerusalem. In broad daylight, dozens of Jews, Arabs and Britishers were mrder in cold blood by the notorious Jewish terror1st organisation gn Zvai Leumi. Footage of men digging in the rubble. Newsreader: From the most junior messenger to the senior government official, men and women, servicemen and civilians alike, perished in this senseless volence. Footage of a covered body on a stretcher being carried away from the rubble. Jerusalem. A young woman, Lea Fisher, joins her parents and little brother at the table. Her father, a rabbi, recites the blessing before they eat. Rabbi Fisher: Baruch atah Adonai elohaynu melech ha'olam hamotzi lechem min ha'aretz. Sergeant (offscreen): Yaakov Weiss! There's a sudden pounding at the door. A trio of British soldiers enter, pointing rfles at the family. Sergeant: We're looking for Yaakov Weiss! Rabbi Fisher: We don't know him. Er, he... Sergeant: You're Yaakov Weiss! One of the soldiers moves through the house, parting a bead curtain to check into the next room. Rabbi Fisher laughs nervously. Rabbi Fisher: Oh, no, my name is Fisher. I am a teacher, I am no one. There are sounds of other soldiers searching in the distance. Soldier (offscreen): Out, out, out! Rabbi Fisher: This is a mistake. You have the wrong house. Soldier (offscreen): Get out! Get out! Out! Out! Get out! Get out now! Lea looks one of the soldiers aiming a rfle at her father. Soldier: This is the right address, Sarge. Sergeant: No, you're gonna have to come with us. Rabbi Fisher: Why? I've, I've told you! Sergeant: Take him. Rabbi Fisher: No! He takes a step back in protest. Lea: No- Sergeant: You're under arrest! Rabbi Fisher: No! Ah! One of the soldiers grabs him, holding his arms behind his back. Soldier: Come here! Lea (offscreen): What has he done? Stop it! Mrs Fisher hugs her son as they both watch silently. Sergeant: Come on, get him out! The soldier wrestles a struggling Rabbi Fisher towards the door. Lea runs in front of them. Lea: Stop it! Let him go! The sergeant shoves her aside. Sergeant: Stand back, madam! She crashes into the table and falls to the floor. Her little brother starts to cry as the soldiers take Rabbi Fisher away. Mrs Fisher (offscreen): No! No! On the floor, the remains of their meal lie spilled across a copy of the Palestine Post with an article about the hotel bmb. Daniel (voiceover): The Balfour Declaration of 1917... Daniel Woolf is speaking in front of fellow student Jane and a few other classmates in Elizabeth Addis's office at University College, London. Daniel: ...promised a national home for the Jewish people in Palestine. But from the very start it was a sham, because what the British really wanted was control of Palestine to support their ambitions in Egypt and the Suez Canal. It would help them extract oil from Iraq and Jordan. As usual, British interests come first. He sits back door. Addis is sitting listening with a notebook. Addis: Thank you, Daniel. That's very well argued. But aren't you perhaps being a little over-cynical? Jane: Lloyd George wanted the Jews to go to Argentina or Uganda. Daniel: Palestine was their homeland. Do you want to live in Uganda? Jane: I have London. Daniel: And we had Jerusalem when London was a marsh. A chime rings for the end of the class. Jane: Well, if the Arabs and Jews would live together, there wouldn't be any problem. Daniel: That was never going to happen. The Arabs saw the Jews as interlopers, aliens. Addis: That's not entirely true. She stands up. Addis: Balfour genuinely believed he could appease both sides. The other students start to get up. Addis: And maybe he was guilty of old-fashioned paternalism, but if you want to write an essay rather than a polemic, perhaps you should calm down a little and look at the wider picture. Jane (voiceover): It's good that you have your beliefs. Outside. Daniel and Jane are walking away from the building and down a set of steps. Jane: I just think sometimes you need to tone them down a little bit. Daniel: Well... Jane: Are you coming out tonight? There's a crowd of us going to the Regency. Daniel: Oh, no, I'm sorry, I can't. Jane: All right. I'll see you tomorrow. Daniel: Yes, have a good evening. They head in different directions. A pair of men, Ian Hughes and Gerry Aziz, have a table set up on the edge of the campus with several copies of the paper International Unity. As Daniel draws closer them, Aziz gives Hughes a subtle nod. Hughes tosses his cigarette away and picks up a copy of the paper, approaching Daniel with it. Hughes: International Unity? Daniel: You think I'm interested in your nzi filth? Hughes: You gonna buy one, then? Daniel: Of course not. He moves to pass, and Hughes grabs him by the arm. Hughes: Why not? I think he's an half-dick. Aziz: A bloody four-by-two. Daniel knocks the paper out of Hughes' hands. Daniel: How dare you, you talk to me like- Hughes punches him in the face. Aziz hits him in the stomach and he falls to the ground. Addis (offscreen): Hey! You there! Stop that! Hughes continues to punch Daniel as he lies on the ground. Addis comes running across the campus. Addis: Stop! Aziz gives Daniel a final kick, and then the two men run. Addis runs over to Daniel where he's lying bloody-faced. Addis: Daniel, are you all right? MI5 building. Sam hurries down a staircase with a stack of files. Corridor. Foyle is walking towards his office as Sam approaches from the other direction. Foyle: Morning. Sam: Morning, sir. I got that stuff you wanted. They walk into the office together. Foyle: Thank you. What stuff is that? Sam: Er, the International Unity manifesto and the report on Charles Lucas. Foyle: Ah, right. Sam: Supporter of Mosley, I see. Foyle: What's it say at the top of the page? Sam: "Most secret". Foyle: Would you put the file back in the box and put the box on the table, please? Sam: Yes, sir. She brings the file box over to his desk. Sam: Could I take the car out tomorrow, sir? Foyle: Again? Sam: I've got the day off. Foyle: Back to the hospital? Sam: Mm-hmm. Foyle: Well, of course. Anything to worry about? Sam heads out of the office. Sam: No, sir, absolutely ship-shape. Tip-top condition. She leaves. University College. Foyle and Addis walk along a corridor together. Addis: It's very kind of you to come. Foyle: Not at all. Addis: Have you managed to find out anything about these people? Foyle: Erm, a little, yes. She opens the door to her office. Addis: Please come in. Inside. Addis: So, the International Unity Party? Foyle: Yeah. It's run by a man called Charles Lucas. Fascist, supporter of Mosley, interned during the wr, released a couple of years ago and now trying to reinvent himself with this new organisation. Addis: Nothing new about what happened here. It was an antisemitic attck. At least, that's what it looks like. Foyle: On a student of yours? Addis: Yes. Very capable boy, if a touch wayward. His father is a businessman working in import-export, that sort of thing. Very wealthy. Sir David Woolf, if the name means anything to you. Foyle: Nope. Police involved? Addis: Well, no, that's what bothers me. The police haven't been informed. The boy is in hospital and I was the one who telephoned the father, and he was actually quite hostile. He didn't want anyone to know. He made that quite clear to me on the phone. And when I spoke to the university authorities, they were exactly the same. It was as if the attck had never happened. Foyle: As far as I'm aware, these people don't make a habit of targeting university campuses. Addis: That's exactly my point. It's almost as if they were waiting for him. And look at this. They had these with them yesterday. She goes over and picks up one of the International Unity papers from the desk to show him. Addis: But it's a month out-of-date. Doesn't it all seem very odd to you? It's why I wanted to ask you about it. I'm quite certain this attck wasn't random. I think it was deliberate. Foreign Office. Pierce and Sir Alec get out of their car in front of the building. Sir Alec sighs. Sir Alec: Who does this man think he is? Pierce: Clive Ord-Smith, Undersecretary of Foreign Affairs. One of Attlee's inner circle. Had a good wr - Special Air Services. Sir Alec: That's not what I meant, and you know it. I do not take kindly to being dragged halfway across town. Pierce: Quite. Sir Alec: Bloody man getting above himself. CAPTION: FOREIGN OFFICE, LONDON They walk up the steps into the building. Ord-Smith's office. Sir Alec paces impatiently while Pierce stands reading a newspaper by the window. She turns as the door opens and Clive Ord-Smith enters. He shakes hands with both of them. Ord-Smith: Miss Pierce. Er, has anyone offered you tea? Sir Alec: Not for me, thank you. Ord-Smith: Security, the London Conference, four days from now. Pierce: Yes, we have kept you fully briefed. Ord-Smith: Yes, but in view of the increasing tensions surrounding the event, the Prime Minister has asked me to take a personal interest. Sir Alec: Is that why you called us here? Ord-Smith: It's only four months since the King David Hotel. 91 people klled, 28 of them British. Worse than that, it was a direct asault on this country's policy as regards Palestine. Pierce: Much worse. Ord-Smith: There's a real danger of something similar happening in London. You've got the Haganah, gn, the Stern gng, many trror1st cells hoping to make a name for themselves. Sir Alec: Well, if you're worried, why not cancel it? You know as well as I do it's a complete waste of time. The Palestine Arabs aren't coming, nor are the Jewish Agency. And they all reject any sensible ideas before they've heard them. Ord-Smith: No, cancelling it would send out the wrong message. It will go ahead, and your department, Sir Alec, is responsible for overall security. Sir Alec: I am aware of that, and I would be attending to it right now if I weren't here. There's a knock on the door. Ord-Smith: Come. James Griffin enters. Ord-Smith: Ah! Griffin. Sir Alec Meyerson, Miss Pierce. Griffin: How do you do? Ord-Smith: James Griffin. I want him to act as a liaison between MI5 and the Foreign Office. What you know, he knows, and he keeps me informed. At the same time, if you need further resources, he has a direct line to this office. Thank you. Pierce: Do you have any actual intelligence that the conference has been thrat? Ord-Smith: Actual intelligence? Pierce: Yes. Ord-Smith: No, but there are strong indications. And the trouble is, we don't know what we're looking for. Young, old, male, female. All we know is that they're utterly ruthless and fanatical and they could already be here... Sir Alec: Hmph. He and Pierce take their coats to go. Griffin follows. Robert Lucas climbs a staircase and unlocks the door to his father's office Two men are just leaving as Robert enters. Man 1: Thank you, Mr Lucas. Man 2: We'll get that printed for you. Man 1: Hello, Robert. Charles Lucas looks back as he sits down in a chair near the door. Lucas: Ah! Robert: Father. Lucas: Robert. Robert: These are the photographs you wanted from the King David Hotel. He hands Lucas a small folder of photographs. Lucas takes the photos out. Lucas: Thank you. Robert: It's horrid what's happening over there. Lucas: Hmm. Shame they're not in colour. Can't see the flames or the blood. He gets up from his chair. Robert: I don't understand why you'd need to see any- Lucas: This act of Jewish terrorism has had a profound effect on this country. He sets the photos down atop a collection of printed flyers. Lucas: Even Churchill's condemned it, and he's a Jew-lover if ever there was one. Robert: People are angry. But that's happening in Palestine. It's got nothing to do with what's happening here. Lucas: D'you really think so? British soldiers are being sht every day in Palestine. What about their wives? What about their families, hmm? And then think of the wider picture. Housing shortages, food shortages, everyone's suffering. Who's always first in line? Illegal aliens, Jews. Robert: But you said the Jews were no longer a problem. And after everything they've been through, don't people feel sorry for them? Lucas: I feel sorry for them. The, the, the camps, nzi, it was horrible. It doesn't mean we can't still use them. Robert: You can't believe that? Lucas: Don't tell me what I can and cannot believe. I have spent my whole life fighting for what I believe is right, and now we have an opportunity. Robert: You want to show people those. Lucas: There's a great deal of resentment and distrust, I'd go as far as to say hatred, being felt at street level. The Jews are associated with the black market, the way they do business is despised and, yes, Jewish terrorism. Well, we can use all that to drive people into our tent. It's politics, Robert. It's nothing more. Woolf family home. Sam waits, pacing, by the car parked out in front. Inside. Lady Ava and Sir David Woolf escort Foyle into the sitting room. Sir David: It's kind of you to visit, Mr Foyle, but, um, don't see how I can help you. Foyle: I wonder if I, er, might be able to help you? Sir David: How, exactly? Foyle: Well, your son. Ava takes a seat on the sofa while the men remain standing. Sir David: Daniel was very foolish. He became involved with two thugs and they attcked him. I have warned him. Foyle: You weren't concerned? Sir David: Every Jew in London has to be careful. Don't raise your voice. Don't push in queues. Above all, don't get involved in politics. This country has given us a superb welcome, but there are always elements. Foyle: Which is why this, perhaps, er, should be a matter for the police. Sir David: Mr Foyle, that is for me to decide. It was a minor matter, and it is finished. So, if you don't mind... Foyle: Of course. I'll see myself out. He leaves. Ava: David. Sir David: I don't want to talk to you about this, Ava. She stands up. Ava: But if we're in danger... Sir David: We are not in any danger. They're playing with us, but they won't hurt us. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. He clasps her hand, then smiles and turns away. Outside. Hughes and Aziz sit watching the house from a parked car. Hughes: Take another picture. Aziz takes a photograph as Foyle walks back towards his car. Foyle joins Sam by the car. Foyle: Well, their son is in hospital and they don't appear to be at all bothered. They both get into the car. Across the road. Hughes and Aziz continue to watch. Hughes: Who the hell are they? Aziz: Police. Hughes: They don't look like it. Intelligence, maybe. Looks like the old fox is breaking cover. More fool him. Aziz: Fox? Hughes: Woolf. We may have to pay him another visit. Street. Graham Barnes is walking along carrying his young son Mikey, who has a bad cough. Barnes: Here we go, Mikey. He takes Mikey over to where some workmen are resurfacing the road and gets him to breathe in the fumes from the tar. Barnes: That's it. Come on, you can do it. Breathe. Breathe. Can you feel that? Get it inside you. It feels good. An older Polish couple, Olga and Henry Kowalski, approach them. Olga: Mr Barnes! Barnes: He's had another attck. Worse this time. Olga: Let me, please. Barnes: They said the fumes are good for his lungs. Olga cups Mikey's face in her hands. He coughs. Olga: Your boy, I think he needs hospital. Barnes: I can't take him back there again. Olga: Buy medicine. Barnes: Mrs Kowalski, I know you mean well, but I can't afford medicine. I haven't got any money. Here, let me take him. He picks Mikey up again. Olga removes a ring from her finger. Olga: Take this. It's gold! You take for money. Barnes: I can't take that. Olga: For Mikey, is good. He takes the ring. Barnes: Thank you. Thank you. He carries Mikey away, still coughing. A car with Glenvil Harris and Adam in the back drives by the scene. Glenvil: The mistake was making promises we couldn't keep. "Five million homes in quick time." Bevan's words. Adam: Can't build five million houses? We haven't got the raw materials. Glenvil: My point exactly. But if you take housing shortages and add rationing, plus everyone saying what a horrible bloody winter it's gonna be, and we can't guarantee fuel supplies, it's no wonder people are losing faith. They pass a gatepost with painted graffiti. Adam: "PJ". Glenvil: "Perish Judah". Charming, don't you think? He shakes his head. A meeting hall in a public building. Rabbi Avraham Greenfeld enters with Sir David Woolf. Greenfield: Will it take a while? Sir David: I'm afraid so, yes. Adam: Gentlemen. Good afternoon. Thank you so much for coming. He shakes hands with the two of them. Adam: Rabbi. Sir David. Sir David: Good to see you. He leads them over to meet Doctor Karen Bennett Adam: Er, Doctor Bennett, Sir David Woolf, as you know a major employer in the constituency, and Rabbi Greenfeld. Er, Doctor Bennett has a practice here. Greenfeld and Bennett shake hands. Adam posts Superintendent Alastair Johnstone arriving. Adam: Ah! Superintendent Johnstone of, er, Peckham Police Station. Johnstone: Afternoon. Greenfeld: Afternoon. Adam: I, er, I felt the need to call this meeting in response to this. He gestures to a Flyer printed with the name Lucas that Glenvil is holding. Glenvil: The International Unity Party. It's run by a man called Charles Lucas. He was interned in '41. Sir David: And now he's back. Glenvil: He's calling for a European government. He thinks it's the only way to avoid another wr. Sir David: And yet his literature is filled with hatred and intolerance. Glenvil: That's right. Adam: What I don't understand is why they've decided to hold their meeting in West Peckham. Bennett: I think we can guess. Adam: We're all aware of certain tensions within the community. The question is, how do we respond? Sir David: I say the meeting should be banned. Bennett: It can't be banned, can it? The man has a right to free speech, even if we loathe everything that comes out of his mouth. Johnstone: If it was an unlawful meeting, the police could take action. But I don't see that it is. Sir David: What if there are protestors, what if there's volence? Johnstone: Well, in that unlikely event, the police would clamp down hard. Sir David: That's exactly what he wants you to do. The community attcks this meeting, and then the police attck the community. Johnstone: We would urge people to remain calm. Sir David: Would you remain calm when your family was being thrat? When you were being told you're not wanted? Glenvil: Is that really the case? Sir David: A petition sent to Parliament with 2,000 signatures urging all aliens be repatriated. Greenfeld: That was Hampstead, not West Peckham. Not that that excuses it. Adam: Rabbi. Greenfeld: It's true, there has been tension here, the events in Palestine, the King David Hotel, but it's not just antisemitism. If you've been waiting for a council house for two years and that council house has been given to a foreigner, it doesn't matter if he's Jewish, Russian, whatever. It is enough that he is foreign. Johnstone: Indeed. Greenfeld: I have lived in this country for nine years, but even I sometimes feel I am an alien. Adam: But would you want the meeting banned? Greenfeld: It would make more sense, certainly, if it did not take place, but might it not be better if we spoke to Mr Lucas? He might not be aware of the situation here. Sir David: He won't listen. Greenfeld: We can try. Bennett: He might see reason. Johnstone: I agree. And, as I say, there's nothing the police can do. Adam: Very well. I'll do what I can. Southampton immigration office. CAPTION: SOUTHAMPTON DOCKS Lea Fisher is in the queue. A policeman directs her. Policeman: Morning, madam. Go through now. Sirs? Lea approaches an official behind the counter and gives him her passport. Official: Purpose of your visit? Lea: I'm here to study medicine. I've been offered a place at King Edward's College in London. She hands him a letter. Official: Do you have an address while you're in London? Lea: I'm staying with friends of my family, the address is there. Avraham Greenfeld. Official: He's a rabbi? Lea: Yes. At the synagogue in West Peckham. He looks at the letter for a moment, then stamps her passport. Official: Welcome to England. He hands her documents back and she leaves. Foyle's office. Researcher Patricia Scott enters with a file. Patricia: Sir David Woolf. Foyle (offscreen): Yes. He stands up from his desk as she comes over to give him the file. Patricia: His parents came over from Romania at the turn of the century. He's made a fortune out of shipping. Done a lot for charity. Knighted, before the wr. Er, found a news story that might interest you. One of his ships was blown up quite recently in Sète. It's a French port. She hands him another document. Foyle: Right, that's helpful. Thank you. As she goes to leave, Valentine walks in. Valentine: Sir David Woolf? Foyle: Ah, eavesdropping, your specialist activity. Valentine: Amongst other things. Let me introduce you, Foyle. Griffin has followed him in. Valentine: This is, er, James Griffin of the Foreign Office. He's liaising while this conference is on. Griffin and Foyle shake hands. Foyle: How do you do? Griffin: How do you do, sir? Valentine: Meyerson's waiting, come on. Foyle: Yep. They all head out of the office. Griffin: I gather you're the father of Andrew Foyle? Foyle: Yes, that's right. Griffin: We trained at Cosford. Foyle: Ah. Griffin: We never met, but everybody looked up to him. Foyle: You a pilot? Griffin: I'm afraid not. Didn't quite make the grade. Ended up at Fighter Command. How is Andrew? Foyle: Oh, he's very well. Griffin: Is he still flying? Foyle: No, he's in the City now. Immigration office. Rabbi Greenfeld and his son Nicholas stand waiting outside the barrier as Lea leaves the counter. Greenfeld: There she is. He removes his hat to wave at her. Greenfeld: Lea. She comes over and the two of them hug. Greenfeld: Ah! Welcome to England. I recognised you easily, you're the spitting image of your mother. This is my son, Nicholas. Nicholas: Hello. Lea: I've seen your photograph. My father had it in the dining room. But you were much younger. Greenfeld: I was so sorry to hear about your father, Lea. His heart? Lea: Yes. Greenfeld: He was a good man. My oldest friend. We should get going. I'm afraid it's a long drive back to London. Lea goes to pick her suitcase up from the porter's trolly. Greenfeld gestures Nicholas towards her. Nicholas: Let me take your case. He takes the suitcase. Lea: Thank you. Greenfeld: This way. Hospital. Graham Barnes carries a coughing Mikey through the corridors. Barnes: Come on, Mikey, not now. Let's get you home. As Barnes sets him down, Sam comes out of a side door nearby. Sam: Thank you, Doctor. Doctor: You're welcome. Mikey is coughing badly. Sam: Is he all right? Barnes: What does it look like? Does he look all right? He picks him up again. Sam: I'm sorry, I didn't mean... Barnes: Oh, forget it, it doesn't matter. He carries him a little further, but sets him down again as he continues coughing. Sam: Oh... Is he staying here? Barnes: No, I'm taking him home. Sam: Would you like a lift? I, I've got a car outside, would that help? Barnes: Oh... yeah. He nods. Sam: Come on. Mikey keeps coughing. Sam: Poor thing. Follow me. Street. Sam parks by Barnes' house and the three of them get out. Sam: Is his mother at home? Barnes: His mother's dad. She copped it during the Blitz. Sam: Oh, I'm sorry. Barnes: We've got Polish neighbours who help out. One of them doesn't even speak English, but we get by. Sam: You know, there's going to be a new National Health Service. Barnes: Oh, and you think that, er, Mike can wait? All these politicians, it's all very nice, all their talking, but nothing ever gets done. Sam: Mmm. Well, good luck. Barnes: Thank you. Thanks. For the lift. Sam: You're welcome. As she leaves, Olga Kowalski approaches. Olga: Mikey is all right? How is he? He good? Barnes: No, he's not good. I pawned your ring, and they took my money and they gave me nothing. I'm sorry. Mikey coughs some more as Barnes leads him up to the front door. Hughes and Aziz's base of operations. Aziz walks into the room, whistling. Hughes: Shh! He waves the phone in his hand at Aziz, then holds it to his ear. Hughes: Right. I understand. He puts the phone down, and picks up a photo of Foyle from a stack of others taken outside the Woolf house. Hughes: His name is Foyle. Senior Operative, MI5. Aziz: So, Woolf went to the intelligence services? Hughes: Yeah, that's what it looks like. He opens a drawer and pulls out a pstol. Aziz: What are we gonna do? Hughes: They want us to pay him a second visit. Aziz: What about Foyle? Hughes: They'll deal with him. The two of them leave. Hospital ward. Daniel, face still cut and bruised, lies in bed reading. Addis and Foyle enter and walk over to him. Addis: Daniel. Daniel: Doctor Addis. Addis: Thought I'd see how you were getting on. Daniel sits up in bed. Addis: This is a friend of mine, Mr Foyle. Daniel: How do you do, sir? Foyle: How do you do? Sorry to hear about all this. Daniel: Oh, it was nothing. Hmm. I'm much better now. Tomorrow I'm going home. Foyle: You remember anything about the men who did it? Daniel: Why do you ask? Are you a policeman? Foyle: Something like that. Daniel: I didn't see them, I can't tell you anything. Foyle: There's every chance they may do exactly the same thing to somebody else. Daniel: I don't wanna talk about it, and, erm, it's very nice of you to come round... but I'm feeling very tired and I, I need to get some rest. Foyle (voiceover): His father's very wealthy, well-connected. He and Addis walk out through the hospital. Addis: Do you think the son was attcked to get at his father? They head down a set of stairs. Foyle: Possibly. Six days ago, er, one of his ships was blown up in a French port. Addis: A cargo ship? Foyle: A cargo ship called the Jericho, carrying supplies to Palestine. Addis: What sort of supplies? Foyle: That's a very good question. Addis: People? Foyle: Possibly. They reach the door to the outside and Foyle opens it. Addis: Thank you for your involvement in all of this, but really don't feel obliged. Foyle: No, no, no. Not at all. I mean, there's clearly something going on. Wainwright house. Adam walks through into the kitchen reading from a file and shaking his head. Sam puts the lid back on a pot on the stove and turns to him. Sam: What's that? Adam: This stuff is incredible. Twenty guineas to have your tonsils removed. You've got Harley Street consultants cruising around in Rolls-Royces. Sam: Actually, I meant to ask you about that. I met someone. Adam: Sam! Sam: No! I was at the hospital. It was a tram driver. His wife had been klled in the Blitz and he had a son who couldn't have been more than ten or eleven years old. He was in a very bad way with his breathing. Adam: Did he get seen by a doctor? Sam: He couldn't afford one. Adam: Exactly. Sam: I just wonder if we shouldn't be doing something. Adam: We are doing something. Sam: I know, this wonderful new heath service, and it is marvellous, but, er, by "we" I meant "we". Adam: There was a doctor on the committee. Er, a Doctor Bennett. As Sam moves to pick up a colander of potatoes, Adam tries to steal a piece of carrot from the chopping board and she slaps his hand. Sam: Uh-uh! Adam: I suppose I could ask her to take a look. But I can't promise that she'll do it for free. Sam: Could you, Adam? We can't just sit around and do nothing. She tips the potatoes into a saucepan. Greenfeld house, night. Rabbi Greenfeld returns home and lets himself in. His wife Miriam walks through the hall carrying a covered dish. Miriam: Hello. Greenfeld: Hello, my dear. Miriam: Just in time. Greenfeld: Ah. They kiss. Nicholas's room. Swing music is playing at a low volume as he fiddles with a piece of radio equipment. He has wiring diagrams on his bedroom walls. There's a knock at the door. Nicholas: Mmm? Lea (offscreen): Can I come in? Nicholas: Er, oh, yes, of course. She takes note of all the radio equipment around the room. Lea: Is this all yours? Nicholas: Yes, it's my job. She sits down by him. Nicholas: I, I, I've always been interested in sound, and music. Er, I don't know why. I wanted to work in film, maybe one day I will. Lea gets up again to go and look at one of the pieces of equipment. Lea: This all looks very complicated. Nicholas: That's a wire recorder. A Boosey & Hawkes. Er, the wire keeps breaking and it damages the heads. I'm fixing it. Magnetic tape's the coming thing, much bet- Lea: How long have you lived in this country? Nicholas: All my life. I was born here. Lea: You've never been to Palestine? Nicholas: I never thought about it. Lea: Do you go to shul? Nicholas: Oh, yes, of course. Er, my father would be upset if I didn't, but it doesn't really interest me. Miriam (offscreen): Nicholas! Lea! Dinner! Nicholas: Shall we go down? Dining room. Greenfeld pours wine for the four of them and then picks up his glass. Greenfeld: And... cheers. L'chaim. Miriam: L'chaim. Nicholas: L'chaim. Lea: Cheers. L'chaim. Miriam: How long are you staying with us, Lea? Lea: I... don't know yet. It's a three-year course, but I'll get myself a room. Miriam: Don't be ridiculous, you can stay with us. Greenfeld: Does the university offer you accommodation? Lea: They say they'd help. Greenfeld: Your father never mentioned you had an interest in medicine. Miriam: Avi! Don't interrogate the girl. He chuckles. Miriam: Gravy? She passes Nicholas the gravy boat. Miriam: Nicholas, you're going to have to show Lea the sights. She's never been to London before. Nicholas: I'm sure she won't want to go with me. Lea: I'd love to. Miriam: There we are. Nicholas: Fine. Miriam exchanges a look with her husband and chuckles. Woolf house, night. A car drives up outside. Sir David's study. He's at work at his desk. Ava opens the door and leans in. Ava: I'm going to bed. Sir David: You go ahead. I just want to finish this. Ava: You're working too hard. Sir David: You always say that. She comes over to his desk. Ava: Listen to me, when Daniel comes home tomorrow, I want you to take the day off. You hardly see him anyway, and it will give you an opportunity to spend some time together. Sir David: All right. Tomorrow. He touches his lips and blows her a kiss. She turns to leave. Ava: Don't work too long. Sir David: Mmm. She leaves. He pulls out a drawer and takes a book out of it. There's a revolver lying underneath. He closes the drawer again. Local town hall. As their car drives away, Charles and Robert Lucas meet a man in front of the building. Lucas: Ah, good evening. Man: Good evening. Lucas: Sorry it's so late. Man: No problem. Robert: Hello. Man: Evening. They head inside. Man: Come in. Lucas: Thank you. Well! He and Robert look around the empty hall. Lucas: What do you think? Robert: It's a bit dowdy. Lucas chuckles and walks up onto the raised dais at the far end. Lucas: It'll do very well. We'll need a banner here, maybe some torches. And some men at the door. Maybe a line of them in the street. Robert: To protect you? Lucas: To make it look as if I need protection. He chuckles. Robert turns away, wandering the hall. Lucas: Robert, why do you always seem so uncomfortable? Robert: Are you sure this speech is a good idea? Lucas: You know how it's been for me. For three long years I was sidelined, watching this great country of ours slide into decline. Robert: We won the wr. Lucas: We lost almost everything else. This is just the first step, Robert, on our way back to power. Robert: That MP wants to see you. Lucas: Adam Wainwright? Excellent. Robert: He wants to dissuade you. Lucas: Good! Means he's scared. Woolf house, night. There's the sound of a gn from inside the building, then a second. Inside. Ava hurries down the stairs. Ava: David? David? As she runs through into his study, she sees Hughes and Aziz running from the scene. Aziz is holding a pstol. As they leave, she sees Sir David lying slumped on the floor and lets out a gasp of shock. MI5 building. As Foyle is about to head into the building, Sam catches up to him. Sam: Morning! Foyle: Morning. Everything all right? They head inside together. Sam: Yes, sir. Thank you. I saw the doctor, everything's fine. With me, anyway. Foyle: What does that mean? Sam: Well, I could afford to pay. I met this poor fellow - he's a tram driver, and his son, ten or eleven years old... As they're about to head down a set of stairs, Pierce leans down from the staircase above. Pierce: Mr Foyle. A word, please. She heads back up the stairs. Sam: Uh-oh. She continues down while Foyle follows Pierce. Pierce's office. Foyle follows Pierce in to find Valentine and Griffin waiting there as well. Pierce: I understand you put in a background check on Sir David Woolf. Is that correct? Foyle: It is. Pierce: I'd like to know why you were at his house. Foyle: I'd like to know how you know I was there. Valentine: Oh, for God's sake, Foyle, I have overall responsibility for the Palestine Conference. Foyle: Yes, I know that. Valentine: So, is there a connection with David Woolf I should know about? Foyle: Not as far as I'm aware. Valentine: He's a prominent member of the Jewish community in this country, he wasn't one of the delegates, doesn't seem to be connected to any of the groups taking part - he actually spoke out against it last month. He didn't think it would do any good. Foyle: Exactly. So I don't understand the interest. Pierce: Sir David Woolf was mrder last night. Woolf house. There are police outside the front door. Sam and Foyle drive up and park in front. They both get out of the car. Sam: This is like the old days, sir - dad bodies, police, grand old house. Foyle: When everything was so very much simpler. Inside. As Foyle walks into the hall, Superintendent Johnstone comes out. Johnstone: Mr Foyle? Foyle: Yes. Johnstone: What's this got to do with the Security Service? Foyle: I don't know yet. Forgive me, you are? Johnstone: Superintendent Johnstone. Foyle: How do you do? Johnstone: Shall we? He leads Foyle into the study, where Sir David's body still lies. Foyle: What can you tell me? Johnstone: Well, Lady Woolf heard two shts just after eleven o'clock last night. She came running down. Found her husband, like this. She saw two men going out through the doors. They probably escaped through the garden. She's given us descriptions. One possibly Arabic. Foyle: No one else in the house? Johnstone: No. Just the two of them. There's a son, but he was at the hospital. And the housekeeper had the night off. Foyle: Whose is the gn? Johnstone: His. Smith & Wesson .38. Foyle: Fired? Johnstone: No. Lady Woolf says he kept it in his desk. His wife's in the dining room if you want to speak to her. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Johnstone: His widow, I should say. The son's there, too. All Hebrews, by the way. Thought you might like to know. He leaves. Foyle walks through into the dining room where Ava and Daniel are at the table. Foyle: Lady Woolf, hello. I'm sorry. I know this is difficult. But there are one or two questions. Daniel: I know you. You were at the hospital. You know Doctor Addis. Foyle: I do. She thought I might have been able to help. Daniel: Oh, well, well, you didn't. My father's dad! They said they were going to kll him, and they did! Ava: Daniel! Foyle: "They"? Ava: You mustn't say anything! Daniel: Mama, he's dad, it doesn't matter any more! My father was klled by Arab trrorists! He was helping people reach Palestine. His money, his ships, he thought it was his duty. Palestine for the Jews, that's what he believed, but he was thrat. Now, there were letters, he burnt them, and phone calls. "If you don't stop, we're going to hurt you. We're going to hurt your family." Why do you think I was beaten up? Those weren't fascists, they were part of it. Foyle: Why didn't you go to the police? Daniel: They wouldn't be able to help. What would they know. Ava: We should have gone to them for protection. Foyle: Why wasn't your father part of the London Conference? Daniel: Waste of time. They're only talking so they don't have to make any decisions. Foyle: Do you think there's anything in your father's correspondence which might be able to help? Ava: I don't know where it is. I don't know where he kept it. Daniel: You won't find anything. This country put him on the wrong side of the law, so that's how he behaved. Outside. Sam is still waiting by the car. Rabbi Greenfeld pays a taxi driver and the taxi drives off. He approaches the police in front of the house. Greenfeld: Er, please, may I, er... Policeman: No one's allowed in, sir. It's now a crime scene. Greenfeld: Oh, I see. Foyle comes out of the house. Greenfeld: Erm please, can you help me? Er, may I go in? My name is Rabbi Avraham Greenfeld, the Woolfs are part of my congregation. You're a police officer? Foyle: Not exactly. Er, Security Service. Greenfeld: You're investigating Sir David? Foyle: Not at all. I'm just seeing if there's anything I can do. In fact, erm, if they're ever ready to talk, do let me know. He gives Greenfeld his card. He nods to the policeman on duty. Foyle: It's all right. Greenfeld: Yes, of course. Thank you. Foyle heads back over the car and he and Sam get in. Charles Lucas's flat. Adam and Glenvil climb the stairs and Adam knocks. Inside. Lucas is sitting reading a newspaper. Robert goes over to open the door. Robert: Come in, gentlemen. Adam: Thank you. Lucas: Ah! He stands as the two of them come in. Adam: Mr Lucas. Er, my name's Adam Wainwright. They shake hands. Adam: As you know, I'm the MP for West Peckham. This is Glenvil Harris, my constituency chairman. Lucas: Good afternoon. Er, this is my son, Robert, who also works as my assistant. Robert and Adam shake hands. Lucas: Have a seat. He and Adam head over to sit in the armchairs. Lucas: So... what can I do for you two gentlemen? Adam: I'll get straight to the point. We, er, we were hoping you'd reconsider the meeting you're planning to have. Lucas: By reconsider, I, er, assume you mean cancel? Adam: Yes, sir. Lucas: Tell me, Mr Wainwright, does the Labour Party no longer believe in freedom of speech? Adam: No, we believe in that absolutely, but that's not the issue here. This is one of public safety. Lucas: Well, I feel perfectly safe. Adam: There are a great many immigrants in West Peckham and because of the current shortages, particularly in housing- Lucas: Shortages which your government has done nothing to address. Adam: Feelings are running high. There have been a number of antisemitic attcks. Robert: My father's not antisemitic. Adam: No, no, I'm not suggesting that. I'm just worried an inflammatory speech could have repercussions. Glenvil: If you start a riot, innocent people could get hurt. Lucas: Mr Wainwright, the International Unity Party believes in a, a united Europe. Adam: Paid for and supported by the African continent. I, I've read your literature. Lucas: Exactly. Africa's there to be exploited economically and dominated politically. But, er, but its resources can help create a Europe that will never see wr again. Glenvil: So you support apartheid? Lucas: I positively encourage it, but that's not my point. You see, Mr Wainwright, I've moved on. He stands up. Lucas: I've spent many years formulating my theory. And I will not allow you or anyone else to prevent me sharing it with the British public. Adam: But that doesn't leave us much room for discussion. Lucas: Oh, I have plenty to discuss, sir, but not, I think, with you. Robert opens the door. Robert: Let me show you out. Adam and Glenvil leave and he closes the door behind them. A residential street. Nicholas and Lea are walking along together. Nicholas: My parents are always talking about you and your family. I'm really glad I've finally met you. Lea: I've heard a lot about you, too. Nicholas: Oh, this way. Lea: I can't believe you've never been to Palestine. Nicholas: Well, What's it like? Lea: I don't even know how to answer that question. It's a beautiful country. Every day when I wake up, I can't believe how beautiful it is. And after everything we've been through, it's ours. Nicholas: You live in Jerusalem? Lea: It's an amazing city. Everyone has come from everywhere and the, the streets are so alive. Polish cafés, Russian bakeries, German cabarets... Nicholas: English soldiers. Lea: We live with them all the time. They're worse than the nzi. Nicholas stops walking. Nicholas: Well, you can't believe that? Lea: They klled my father. Nicholas: You said he had a heart attck. Lea: He did, but it was only after they arrested him. They came bursting into our house. They were looking for someone they suspected of being a trror1st. That's what they call people who fight back. They had the wrong house, the wrong name, but that didn't stop them. That was the last time we saw him alive. He died in police custody. Nicholas: Why haven't you told my parents that? Well, they ought to know. Lea: Nicholas, please don't tell them. My mother didn't want anyone to know. Do you promise? She steps closer to him. He hesitates a moment. Nicholas: Er, promise. She gives him a kiss on the cheek. Lea: Now, I want to see all of London. The art galleries, the museums, all of it. Where do we start? Nicholas: Come on. As they walk on she takes his hand. Conference hall. Griffin is walking through the room while Valentine stands listening to him. Griffin: Well, obviously the delegates with their translators at the very front. The assistants behind. Press at the back. And the sound engineers in the centre. Valentine: And there's just the one entrance from the street? Griffin: Yes, sir. Front door, up the stairs, into the room. They walk out into the hallway and Valentine goes over to the windows. Valentine: We'll start with the street. I'll talk to the police. Pall Mall will be closed to the public throughout the talks. It'll be one-way traffic. Cars drop the delegates off, and then, er, continue forwards. They walk on. Griffin: Right. Valentine: Nobody gets in without photographic identity cards. They head down a staircase. Valentine: We'll print them, we'll issue them. There'll be a security check at the front door, and another on the first floor. Montage. Nicholas shows Lea the sights of London, including St Paul's cathedral and the Palace of Westminster. At one point he gets a camera out to take a photo of her, but she waves him off and ends up taking one of him instead. As they walk back together, they pass a newspaper vendor. Lea looks at the headline, HIGH HOPES FOR PALESTINE CONFERENCE. MI5 building. Research department. Patricia Scott walks over to join Foyle, carrying a file. Patricia: This is everything I can find on the Jericho. Foyle: Mm-hmm? Patricia: It was a 6,000-ton cargo ship, built in France. Here's the report from the DST. Foyle: DST? Patricia: Direction de la Surveillance du Territoire. Local intelligence. She sits down at a desk with the file. Foyle: Anyone klled? Patricia: No, it was empty. But you might like to know it was one of three that have been attcked in the past six months. All of them with Jewish or Jewish-American owners. Foyle: Suspects? Patricia: A group calling itself the Defenders of Arab Palestine. Foyle: Who are they? Patricia: We don't appear to know very much about them. Foyle: Right. Is that it? Patricia: Yes. Foyle: Thank you. He takes the file and leaves with it. Foyle walks into his office. Griffin (offscreen): Mr Foyle? He knocks on the door. Foyle: Yeah? Griffin enters with a sheet of paper. Griffin: I thought this might help you. It just came in from the Foreign Office via GC&CS. Are you still interested in that ship? Foyle: Just talking about it. He takes the sheet of paper. Griffin: The captain is in London. We've got an address there. He was in France, of course, the night the Jericho went down. His name's Jack Davey. Foyle: English? Griffin: Half-French, I believe. Just thought it might help. He goes to leave. Foyle: Thank you. bmb-out house. Sam and Foyle park out in front. Two boys run out of the grounds and off down the street as they arrive. Boy: Run, run. He's coming! Foyle: Better wait in the car. Sam: What? Why? Foyle: Because whenever you get out, you get into trouble. He gets out and heads towards the house. Sam sighs. Foyle walks around a pile of rubble in front of the house. Much of the upper storey is missing. Inside. The house is dark, but a small hole in the door allows light through. Jack Davey pulls the door open and sees Sam on the other side. He immediately points a revolver at her. She puts her hands up. Foyle comes back around the house and sees the two of them. Foyle: What? Davey: What d'you want? Foyle: See what I mean? Sam: Sorry. Foyle: Are you Mr Davey? Davey: I don't know you. How did you find me? Foyle: The gn really isn't necessary, we're from the Security Service. We'd like to ask you about the Jericho. Davey: What d'you wanna know? Foyle: Would it be possible to talk inside? Sam: And without you pointing that gn? Davey jerks his head for them to come inside. He lowers the gn and Sam puts her hands down. She and Foyle follow Davey into the ruined house and down a staircase. Davey: The Jericho had been kitted out to carry 800 passengers to Haifa. It was in the port of Sète, crew of thirteen. I was there, I saw it happen. He leads them into a furnished basement room with a fre burning in the fireplace. He sets the gn down on the mantelpiece. Foyle: So, erm, nobody klled? Davey: We were lucky. One of the boys had a birthday, we were out boozing. Foyle: David Woolf. Sir David Woolf, did you know him? Davey: Of course. Why do you think I'm here? I came to see him. He was my boss. He owed me money. Sam: He's dad. Foyle watches Davey silently for a moment. Davey: I didn't kll him. But I know who did. The Defenders of Arab Palestine. Same bastards who blew up the ship. And they'd kll me if they knew where I was. Foyle: Why? Davey: Because I was part of it. I was trying to help. You've got to understand, these people are fanatics. They don't care what they do if it'll hurt the Jewish cause. And they're here, in London. Foyle: How d'you know that? Davey: Sir David told me. He knew them. He even knew where they were staying. MI5 building. Foyle follows Griffin through to Pierce's office. Griffin knocks. Pierce (offscreen): Yes? They go in. Pierce: Oh, Mr Foyle. Foyle: Yes. They walk in and close the door behind them. Valentine is inside already. Foyle: There's a man here in London, identified by Sir David Woolf, evidently, who is apparently a senior member of a trror1st organisation, the Defenders of Arab Palestine. Pierce: Who is this man? Foyle: Er, well, the name he's using, the name I've been given, is Amin Al Arif. He has a suite at the Royal Imperial Mayfair. Pierce: Have you had him checked out? Foyle: Well, I've put in a request for whatever we've got. There's nothing back yet, of course. According to the hotel, he seldom leaves his rooms and is guarded day and night. Valentine: We should talk to him. Foyle: Well, thought we might at least wait for the information. Valentine: I don't think we can wait. We're two days away from the start of the conference. Delegates are already arriving. Griffin: I have to say I agree with Valentine. Whitehall's getting very nervous about this. Pierce: I think we should at least talk to him, find out who or what he is. So, let's get over there now, hmm? Amin Al Arif's hotel suite. The telephone rings. A group of men are talking while Amin Al Arif works at his desk. One of his bodyguards answers the phone. Bodyguard (subtitled): Yes. Man on Phone (subtitled): You have to leave at once. Bodyguard (subtitled): Who is this? Al Arif looks up from his work. Man on Phone (subtitled): Men are coming to kll you all. Bodyguard (subtitled): Who are they? Man on Phone (subtitled): Jewish trrorists. The bodyguard puts the phone down. Al Arif (subtitled): Who was that? Bodyguard (subtitled): Excellency we must leave at once! He gestures to the other men as Al Arif stands. Bodyguard: Yalla! Imshi! The group all head out of the suite together. Hotel lobby. Valentine, Foyle and a group of agents head through the reception area and towards the stairs. Valentine: They're on the first floor. First floor. Al Arif and his group reach the top of the stairs. Bodyguard 2 (subtitled): They're here! He shoves a man out of his way as he draws a gn. There are screams and panicked shouts from other hotel guests. The MI5 agents all draw their wapon as well, and the two groups come to a standoff on the stairs. Valentine: Wait! Put your gn down. Nobody moves. Valentine: I said, put your wapon down. Who are you? Bodyguard: Who are you? I want to see your papers. Show me your papers. Valentine: Everyone put down your gn. Bodyguard: Show me! Foyle holds hup his ID. Foyle: We're with the Security Service. We're not here to pick a fight. Valentine: (I'll handle this.) Foyle: We simply want to talk to Mr Amin Al Arif about a security issue. Al Arif: I am Amin Al Arif. He addresses his entourage in Arabic as he comes forward. Foyle: Do you have any passport or any other- Valentine: Or any paper that would identify you? Al Arif gestures to his bodyguard, who comes forward and hands Valentine some papers. Valentine: (He's not a bloody trror1st, Foyle. He's an advisor to King Abdul of Saudi Arabia. That's quite a situation you've got us into.) He smiles at Al Arif and steps forward. Valentine: I'm extremely sorry. I can't imagine how this has happened... Sir Alec's office. Foyle and Valentine stand Ord-Smith while Sir Alec watches from the sidelines. Ord-Smith: Well, words fail me. I just don't understand how this could have occurred. Amin Al Arif is here at the personal behest of King Abdul himself. Didn't you know who he was? Valentine: He's not part of the conference. Ord-Smith: He's an independent observer, but it makes no difference. Treating him as a common criminal is hardly likely to promote Anglo-Arab understanding. Pierce enters the room to join them. Ord-Smith: Added to which, at a time of extreme tension both in and out of the country, you almost managed to instigate a gn in a five-star hotel. There were innocent bystanders there! People could have been klled! Valentine: Nobody was klled. Ord-Smith: That's not the point! Valentine: We've spoken to Al Arif's bodyguards. Minutes before we arrived, they received an anonymous telephone call warning them that we were on our way. They were told that we were gn, Zionists, and that we posed a thrat. Ord-Smith: And who made this call? Valentine: We don't know. Ord-Smith: Well, however you look at it, it was an ill-judged exercise that could have scuppered the entire conference. And what I want to know is, who's going to take responsibility? Pierce and Valentine exchange glances with Sir Alec. Foyle: I do. I was given false information, no idea why. I acted too quickly. Valentine: Hold on! Pierce: Mr Ord-Smith, I can assure you Foyle is not the sort of man to make mistakes. Ord-Smith: Well, this time he did. Sir Alec: No harm done. Ord-Smith: A great deal of harm done. I'm beginning to wonder if security for the conference shouldn't be removed from this department. And the PM agrees. Sir Alec: I would be very disappointed if you made that decision. Ord-Smith: Well, you may have left me no choice. Pierce: What is it you want? Ord-Smith: It's now what I want, Miss Pierce, it's what will satisfy the Prime Minister. He wants a resignation. Sir Alec: Mine? Ord-Smith: No, of course not. Foyle: Mine? That be enough? Ord-Smith: Yes. I do think this is a resignation issue. Foyle: Not at all a problem. You're very welcome. He turns to leave without hesitation. Pierce: Foyle! Valentine: Wait a minute! Foyle: No, no. Valentine: Er, you wanted to hold back. Foyle: My source, my case, my decision. Anything else? Ord-Smith: I don't think so. Foyle: Thank you. He leaves. Valentine mouths, "I'll go," to Pierce and follows him out. Corridor. Valentine walks up to Foyle's office and looks through the open door. Valentine: Foyle. What are you doing? You can't resign. Foyle: Well, you've changed your tune. Valentine: I may well have done. We were set up, you do know that, don't you? Foyle: Yep, seems likely. Valentine: No, by whom? What do they want? Foyle: Sorry, can't help you. No longer work here. Bye! He puts his hat on and walks out. Sir Alec (voiceover): I have to tell you, Mr Ord-Smith... He, Pierce and Ord-Smith are still in the office. Sir Alec: I do not appreciate the Foreign Office meddling in our internal affairs. Ord-Smith: I didn't fre him, he resigned. Sir Alec: You didn't leave him much choice. Pierce: Well, he won't go quietly. Ord-Smith: I expect you to keep an eye on him, and to keep me informed. Pierce: As you wish. Ord-Smith: I don't know why we're wasting time discussing a minor operative, an ex-policeman. Let's keep our eye on the ball, shall we? He leaves. Kowalski house. Barnes knocks on the door and Olga answers. Olga: Ah. Barnes: Mrs Kowalski, I hate to ask you again, but I was wondering if you could look after Michael tomorrow night. Olga: Mikey! Of course. Barnes: I can bring him to over to yours if that's easier? About six o'clock? Olga: Where will you be? Barnes: Oh, I'm going to a meeting. He holds up a leaflet for Lucas's meeting. Olga: Oh, politics, not for me. Barnes: Oh, well, somebody's got to do something. The whole country's in a bloody mess. Perhaps these people have got the answer. Olga: Politics was all the problem the last time. Barnes: Yeah... Well, I'll only be a couple of hours. He turns to go. Olga: Mikey is all right? Barnes: I don't know. He's not coughing as much. A man brushes past him. Man: Excuse me. Barnes: Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you. bmb-out house. Sam and Foyle park in front. Foyle: Where are you going to stay while I take a look? Sam: In the car, sir. Foyle: Correct. He gets out. Inside. Foyle descends the steps to the basement room. Outside. Sam sits waiting in the car. Foyle (offscreen): Sam! She gets out. Foyle heads back into the house. Basement room. Foyle retrieves a scrap of paper from the fireplace. Sam walks in to join him. Sam: There's no furniture upstairs, no beds, nothing. Foyle: Well, he wasn't living here. Sam: Then what was he doing? She looks at the scrap of paper he's holding, a partially brned photo of the two of them. Sam: Oh. That's us, sir. Foyle: Well, yes. And what's he doing with a photograph of us outside the Woolfs' house? Sam: Oh! Street, night. Lea Fisher gets out of a taxi, holding a map. She heads up a set of stairs and into the upper floor of a building. Levy (offscreen): Over here. Lea: Mr Levy? Levy (offscreen): Yes. Lea: I am Lea Fisher. Levy: The instructions are in the package. Set it twelve hours before. This is very important. Twelve hours. Do you understand? Lea: I understand. Levy: Good. University College. Addis walks into a lounge where Foyle stands waiting. Addis: I've checked with the porter. The room's ready. I've booked you in as visiting lecturer. Foyle: Thank you. Lecturing in what? Addis: Politics and Irregular Warfare by the sound of it. Foyle: I see. Addis: You are all right? Foyle: Well, yes, of course. As I said on the phone, erm, my place is bound to be being watched after what's just happened, and, er, calls monitored, etc., etc., so I'm very grateful. Addis: This is all my fault, isn't it? Foyle: No, no. Not at all. Addis: Can I, er, get you a drink or something to eat? Foyle: No, really. No, thank you. Addis: I'll show you the room. Foyle: Right. He picks up a suitcase and follows her out. Addis leads Foyle up a staircase. Addis: There's a telephone down the hallway there if you need it. She switches the light on in a small student-type bedroom, and then the bedside lamp as well. Addis: At least you can be sure of no one listening in. She pulls the curtains closed as Foyle sets his suitcase on the bed. Addis: What do you think? Foyle: Perfect. Addis: Sure it's all right? Foyle: Of course. He opens his suitcase as she goes over to a drawer and gets a towel out to hang up. Foyle: How's your French? Addis: Fair to middling. Foyle: Well, that'd be a lot better than mine. Erm, I thought this might interest you. He opens a file folder tucked into his suitcase. Addis: What is it? Foyle: It's a report by the Direction de la Surveillance du Territoire of the sinking of Sir David Woolf's ship, the Jericho. It'd be helpful to have a firm idea of what it's saying. Addis: Should you have this? Foyle: Nope. And I ought to point out that neither should you. Addis: When do you want it? Foyle: As soon as you like. Addis: I'll have it for you tomorrow. Foyle: Thank you. Addis: Have a good evening. Foyle: And you. Goodnight. Addis: Good night. She leaves. On the stairs she pauses for a moment, looking upwards before continuing on down. Greenfeld house, night. Lea walks back to the house with a backpack over her shoulder, and lets herself in. She hurries up the stairs to her room, closing the door behind her. She leans back against and breathes heavily for a moment. Daylight. Sam drives along with Doctor Bennett in the car. Sam: This is very good of you, Doctor Bennett. Bennett: Call me Karen, please. Tell me about this child, Michael. Mikey. Sam: I don't know much about him, really. Erm, I met him on one of my hospital visits. Bennett eyes her for a moment. They drive round the corner onto Barnes' street. Bennett: When are you due? Sam: What? How did you know? Bennett: Oh, come on, dear. Sam: Six months. She parks the car and they both get out. Bennett: I rather like your husband. At least he means well. Sam: This is it. She points up at the house. Bennett: That's more than you can say for most politicians. The boy - coughing, temperature, watery eyes, sounds like whooping cough, probably second stage. You say he's been in hospital? Sam: Three weeks. He was in the adult ward and his father wasn't even allowed to see him. Bennett: Oh, nothing unusual about that. Did he try one of the voluntary hospitals? Sam: Couldn't get in. Bennett: Nothing unusual about that, either. Half of them are going bust. Sam: I hope he's in. She knocks. Kitchen. Bennett is just taking her stethoscope off after listening to Mikey's chest, while Barnes stands watching. Barnes: Oi. He jerks his head at Mikey, who gets up to leave the room, passing Sam in the doorway. Bennett: It's as I thought, Mr Barnes. Your son has a serious infection in his respiratory system. What did they do for him at the hospital? Barnes: Nothing very much. They just said he needed a good rest in bed. Bennett: No, that's what they always say. Bed rest is cheaper. Has he had any medicine? Barnes: This. He hands her a bottle. Bennett: Where did you get this? Barnes: I bought it. There's a doctor down the road. She opens it and sniffs the contents. Bennett: Oh, this is useless. Milk of magnesia with peppermint extract. If your son had a mild stomach complaint it might help. Barnes: I hold him over the tar when they're doing the road. The doctor said that would help. Bennett: It won't. What your son needs is penicillin, probably streptomycin. He needs it now. Barnes: I can't afford it, I'm not working. I have to stay here and look after him. Bennett: You don't have to pay. It's free. I belong to a local insurance scheme. There's a community fund. I will draw on that. Barnes: Really? Bennett: Absolutely. Barnes: Thank you. He shakes her hand. She and Sam go to leave and Barnes sees them out. Barnes: Why are you doing this for me? Sam: I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it for your son. And it's not me, it's her. Outside. Sam and Bennett leave the house together;. Sam: I'll drive you home. Bennett: It's all right, I can walk. Sam: Will this be enough to cover it, do you think, the medicine? She gets her purse out of her bag and gives Bennett some money, glancing back towards the house. Bennett: Oh! It's ample. This is very generous of you, Mrs Wainwright. Sam: I just feel so lucky that I'm being looked after. That I can afford it, I mean. Bennett: One day it'll be different. Sam: I'll say. Bennett: You don't need to worry about them. I'll keep an eye on them from now on. Sam: Thank you. Bennett walks on and Sam goes back to the car. University College. Foyle and Addis walk up a staircase together. Addis: I've translated all the relevant pages you gave me. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Addis: The French suspect the involvement of an organisation called the Defenders of Arab Palestine. I found a couple of things that might interest you. Library. Addis shows Foyle a couple of pages from the file. Addis: There were two limpet mines attached to the Jericho, but in fact, only one of them went off. The French recovered the other one and... look. She sets a page down on the table for him to read. Foyle: The second one included four-and-a-half pounds of explsives and detonators and aniseed balls... Addis: Yes, boules d'anis - aniseed balls. Could that be right? Foyle: Yes, it is right. The British used them as fuses. They dissolved in water and created a time delay. Addis: Are you saying these bmb were made by the British? Foyle: It looks possible. Addis: And there's this. She picks up a half-brned page of Arabic writing. Addis: It's propaganda, supposedly put out by the Defenders of Arab Palestine. Copies were found floating in the harbour at Sète. Now, my Arabic is good enough to know that there are spelling mistakes in there. Even their own name. Foyle nods. Local town hall, night. A taxi pulls up outside and Lucas gets out. Robert: I'll get it. Lucas leaves him to pay the driver and walks towards the hall. Superintendent Johnstone and uniformed constable are outside the front gate. Johnstone: Mr Lucas. Lucas: Good evening, Superintendent. I hope you're not going to tell me I can't go in. People are heading into the hall behind them. Johnstone: Not at all, sir. We're just here to keep the peace. Between you and me, I've always been a great believer. I'm tired of watching this country go to the dogs because of all the bloody foreigners. Kick 'em back where they came from, that's what I say. I hope your speech goes well, sir. Lucas: Thank you. Man (offscreen): Country's gone to the dogs! Man: Evening. Good turnout, then? Greenfeld house. Lea and the family are eating together at the table. Greenfeld: Did you manage to see much of London? Lea: Nicholas showed me everything. We went to Trafalgar Square, Downing Street, the British Museum. Nicholas: Oh, it's just a tiny part. Lea: I had a lovely time. Greenfeld: When does your course begin, Lea? Lea: I haven't been accepted yet. I have to sit an exam. Greenfeld: I thought it was all arranged before you left? Lea: So did I, but now they say there's an exam. She turns to Nicholas. Lea: We can go out again tomorrow, if you like. Nicholas: No, I told you I'm working tomorrow. Sorry. Lea: Yes. Of course. The clock on the mantelpiece chimes ten o'clock. Lea: Please excuse me, I have a terrible headache. Greenfeld: Of course. He stands up as Lea hurries from the room. She shuts the door behind her and he shrugs before sitting back down. Upstairs. Lea hurries into Nicholas's room and turns the light on as the clocks continue chiming. There's the sound of a mechanism being wound up. Staircase. Miriam climbs the stairs. She sees Lea go across into her own room and shut the door. Miriam turns and heads back down. Lucas (voiceover): And another thing. The crowd in the hall applaud as he makes his speech, pacing. Lucas: There's no food in the shops. There are shouts of agreement. Lucas: Bread, rationed. Ha! No meat, no fruit, no housing! Nine families queuing up for one council house and it might be months before they can move in. Graham Barnes stands in the crowd, listening more solemnly amid the rowdy group. Lucas: We still have soldiers in Germany, and in Palestine! Cheering and applause. Robert looks across at his father from the sidelines. Lucas: Our husbands... Our husbands and our brothers stuck in hellholes that have nothing to do with them, and who's paying for it? Woman (offscreen): Too right! Lucas: Well, I'll tell you who's paying for it. We are! Another roar of agreement. Barnes looks around at the others around him. Superintendent Johnstone, standing at the back, smiles and nods to his constable before they both turn to leave. Lucas: Sometimes... Sometimes I think you might be forgiven for wondering if we actually won the wr. Laughter from the crowd. Lucas: When I look out onto our streets, I see a third-rate country. Third-rate education, third-rate health- Man (offscreen): Hear, hear! Lucas: And a third-rate government that's going nowhere! Man: We're not third-rate! Lucas: No, sir! Man (offscreen): Yeah! Too bloody right. Lucas: No. And my party, my ideas can make Britain great again. "How?" you ask. Well, I'll tell you how. The answer, ladies and gentlemen, lies in a European government, with a European parliament and Britain at the very centre of a new European alliance! Man: We're not gonna unite with the Jerries! Man (offscreen): Or the Eyeties. Man: Europe's not gonna help us! Lucas: Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, that's not what I mean. What I'm talking about... He looks over at Robert for a moment. Lucas: Is a Europe without Jews. There's a cheer from the crowd. Robert steps forward. Robert: Father... Lucas: It's all right. Robert: But you said. Lucas: A Europe without Poles, and Czechs, and Sheenies, and the Irish, and the Gypsies, and all of them! Barnes looks around at the cheering and applauding crowd. Lucas: All of them who've stolen our jobs, our homes and our opportunities. Who do you think controls the black market, eh? Man (offscreen): They do! Lucas: Who is it, who is it who's sucking money out of your pockets to make themselves rich? It was the Jews and international business who started this wr, and they're the only ones who've benefited from it. Man (offscreen): Yes! Lucas: So who's with me, eh? Woman: I am! There are shouts of agreement from the crowd. Woman: Yes. Lucas: Who's gonna follow me out onto the streets? Who's gonna say with me, "Britain for the British"? Come on! They cheer and applaud. Lucas: Let's take back our streets. Let's take back our country! He makes his way down through the crowd, turning back towards Robert. Lucas: Coming? Robert (offscreen): No! Lucas: Coward! Members of the crowd pat him on the back as he passes through. They start to chant as they follow him out. Mob: Jews out! Jews out! Jews out! They keep on chanting as they leave, Robert left behind alone on the stage. Outside. The mob leave the town hall, a couple of them now carrying flaming torches. Lucas: Follow me! He marches off along the street and they follow. Across the road, Superintendent Johnstone is on the phone in a phone box. Johnstone: No, sir, I don't think it's a very serious disturbance. It's just a few of the locals letting off steam. Probably we should, er, just leave them alone, sir. Very good. He hangs up. Lucas (offscreen): Get them out! The mob cheer. Johnstone stands calmly smoking a cigarette as they pass, then leaves the phone box. Wainwright house. Adam is on the phone in the hallway. Adam: Yes, thank you. Sam moves towards him as he hangs up. Sam: What is it? He grabs his coat Adam: There are people on the streets. They're smashing up shops. Sam: What? Adam: It's because of the meeting. Sam: I'm coming too. She follows him out of the front door. Street. Lucas leads the chanting mob along. More of them have torches now. Sam and Adam approach in their car. Adam: Stop the car. Stop the car! Sam: Adam. She stops and Adam opens the door to stand up. Sam: Adam. Adam! Adam: What do you think you're doing? Lucas: Come on! Adam: Mr Lucas- Lucas: Freedom of speech! The group march past their car. Adam: This won't solve anything! What are you doing? Stop! Mob: Jews out! Jews out! Jews out! Adam: Stop that! The crowd keep on chanting, ignoring him as they pass. Sam: Get back in the car! Adam gets back in and shuts the door. Mob: Jews out! Jews out! Jews out! Lucas gestures for them to follow him. Mob: Jews out! Jews out! Jews out! They climb over a low wall, one of the men carrying a pot of red paint. Car. Adam: Go, go, go! Sam drives away. The man with the paint writes "PJ" on a pillar. Mob: Jews out! Jews out! Jews out! Jews out! Jews out! Kowalski house. Henry opens the door to the bedroom to check on Mikey. He's sleeping peacefully, and after a moment Henry leaves. In another room, Olga is sitting writing at a table. Henry comes in and they exchange a few words in Polish. Jewish bakery. The mob pass by. Man: Filthy Yids! Man: Get out of our country! One of the men throws a rock through a window. Kowalski house. Olga hears the sound of shattering glass and exclaims something in Polish. She and Henry look out of the window, and see the mob approaching with their torches. Man: There, lads! Man: Get out! He throws a Molotov cocktail through their window, and the room bursts into flame. Street. Barnes is walking back home in the dark. He hears a fre engine bell in the distance. Kowalski house. Smoke is rising between the floorboards under Mikey's bed as the room below burns. He sleeps on, oblivious. Street. Barnes stops walking. The fre engine bell is closer now. He runs towards the house, where firemen are spraying water onto the building. Barnes: Mikey! A policeman tries to block his way. Policeman: Sir! Sir, you can't go through! Barnes: I have to! My son's in there! Policeman: Is that your house? Barnes: No, it's my neighbours', but they've got my boy! A fireman intercepts him as he runs forward. Fireman: Are you the father? Barnes: What? Fireman: We managed to get him out. He points Barnes towards an ambulance behind him. Barnes: Mikey! He runs over to where Mikey is sitting wrapped in a blanket. Barnes: Thank God. He picks Mikey up in a hug. Sam and Adam drive towards the scene. Barnes: What about the Kowalskis? Husband and wife, they live here. The fireman shakes his head. Adam and Sam get out of the car. Sam: Mr Barnes! Barnes: What's going on? What's wrong with everyone? They were Polish, they weren't Jewish! They were just an old couple doing no one any harm! What do these people want? Wainwright house. Sam and Adam return home and walk through into the kitchen. Sam: I don't suppose there's much point going to bed now, is there? I'll make some tea. Adam: I could have prevented it. Sam: How? Adam: We should have banned the meeting. We had the chance. Sam: I don't know, Adam. If we start banning things, is that really the answer? Adam: Two people died. Sam: It wasn't your fault. The police should have been there. Adam: That Superintendent, Johnstone. He sits down at the table. Adam: It was almost as if he was on their side. He did nothing. And what sort of an MP am I if we're gonna have riots in my own constituency? Sam: You did the right thing. Lucas lied. It wasn't a meeting and it wasn't a rally. He just wanted to get people upset and angry. Adam: I let him do it. Sam: Well, yes. You talked to him, he just didn't listen. Adam: I don't know, Sam. Fighting, fascism, antisemitism - you'd have thought people would have had enough of that. Sam: Well, that's why it's so important that you do what you do. She comes over and kisses him on the top of the head and they embrace. Lucas's flat. Robert walks in. Robert: Father. Lucas is sitting looking at newspaper headlines about the riots. Lucas: Have you read these? Robert: I'm leaving. I don't want to be part of it any more. Lucas: What on Earth are you talking about? Robert: That speech you made. You promised you weren't going to start anything, but you did. You did it deliberately and people died. Lucas: Two people, and they weren't even British. Robert: You can't say that! That can't be what you mean. Lucas: I'm sorry, Robert. It's not what I intended to happen. Is that what's made you change your mind? Robert: No! I didn't agree with you, not ever. Lucas: You never said this before. Robert: I have said it. You never listened. Lucas: All right, then. Leave, if you really want to. Get out. Do you think I need you? Just go. Robert turns to walk out. Lucas turns at the sound of the door opening. Lucas: Robert... Robert slams the door behind him as he leaves. Conference venue. Policemen are on duty outside the entrance as Griffin heads in. CAPTION: PALESTINE CONFERENCE, DAY ONE Lobby. Valentine comes down the staircase meet Griffin as he arrived. Griffin: Morning, morning. Valentine: Good, you're here. He shakes Griffin's hand and turns to a group of police and security staff gathered at the foot of the stairs. Valentine: Right, pay attention. Everyone will be carrying passes which have already been issued. You'll find the names on these lists - British Government, Civil Service, Arab League, Agudath Israeli World Organisations, journalists, technical staff. If the face doesn't match the photograph, if the name isn't on the list, they don't come in. Up, James. He gestures for Griffin to follow him back up the stairs. One of the staff lays out the lists on a table. Greenfeld house. Nicholas and Lea comes out of the front door carrying some of his sound equipment. Lea: What time does the recording start? Nicholas: Ten o'clock. Oh, that'll go in the back. She puts the box she's holding in the back of his car while Nicholas secures another one with a rope. Lea: I'll get the next one. Nicholas: Thank you. Inside. Lea climbs the stairs to Nicholas's room and picks up the wire recorder. Outside. As Lea comes out with the wire recorder, Nicholas comes over to take it. Nicholas: Let me. Lea: Thank you. She holds the car door for him and watches as he sets it down in the back. Nicholas: I'll see you later, then. Lea: Yes. Nicholas: I'm really glad you came to stay, Lea. I've never met anyone like you before. She's silent for a moment, not meeting his eyes. Nicholas: Bye, then. He moves to get into the car. Lea: Nicholas. She gives him a kiss before he goes. Miriam watches them from the window, then lets the curtain fall back and moves away. Lea stands on the pavement watching as Nicholas drives away. Foyle (voiceover): You're sure you're happy to do this? He and Sam are walking towards the MI5 building. Sam: Absolutely, sir. Foyle: I'll wait here, then. Thank you. Sam heads on towards the building. Greenfeld house. Miriam carries a teapot through the hall to the kitchen. Lea, carrying her suitcase, watches from the top of the stairs, then hurries down once Miriam is gone and she hears the kettle boiling. She heads out of the house. MI5 building. Sam comes out of a door at the top of a staircase carrying a stack of files. She looks at the top one as she heads down the stairs. Pierce: Ah, Mrs Wainwright! Sam hugs the files against her chest as she meets Pierce at the bend in the stairs, and hurries on past. Pierce: What have you got there? Sam: Nothing. She tries to continue down the stairs. Pierce: You've just been to Records. May I? She holds her hands out for the files, and Sam comes back and hands them over. Pierce opens the topmost. Pierce: These are the names and personal details of senior officers serving in the L Section of the Special Air Service during the wr. Clive Ord-Smith was their commanding officer, as I recall. If I had reason to believe you were taking these out of the building, if you were intending, for example, handing them over to Mr Foyle, that would be a very serious matter. Do you understand? Sam: Yes, Miss Pierce. Pierce: Lucky we didn't meet, then. She hands the files back, and gives Sam a small nod. Sam nods in return, and leaves with the files. Greenfeld house. Miriam walks into dining room and sets the teapot down at the table, where Rabbi Greenfeld sits reading a newspaper. Miriam: There's more tea. Greenfeld: Hmm. What's the matter? Miriam: It's Lea. Ever since she came, there's something... ah. Greenfeld: What? Miriam: She hasn't applied to King Edward's College. I called them. They haven't even heard of her. And her father, he didn't just die of a heart attck. He was in British custody. Greenfeld: How do you know? Miriam: Nicholas told me. And I think she was in his room. Greenfeld: In Nicholas' room? Miriam: What was she doing there? Staircase. The two of them head up to Lea's room together. Miriam knocks and they walk in and look around. Greenfeld: No suitcase. Miriam: No clothes. Rabbi Greenfeld checks inside a drawer. Greenfeld: She's gone. Miriam: She can't have! Greenfeld: I think we need help. MI5 building. Sam emerges from another staircase with the files. Secretary (offscreen): I'll send the second set of files upstairs. Sam passes a secretary talking with a man at her desk. Man: Could you? Secretary: And these as well? Man: Yes, thank you. Sam picks up a leather document case while the secretary is distracted, and heads through into Foyle's office. She sets the case down on the desk to put the files in, but then the phone in the office rings. She answers it, keeping an eye out through the open door. Sam: Mr Foyle's office. Outside. Sam drives around the corner of the building and Foyle walks over to get into the car. Later. The two of them are driving along. Sam: He said his name was Greenfeld and he met you at Sir David Woolf's house. Foyle: Yeah, I remember. Sam: He said it was urgent and he sounded very worried. Foyle: Well, we'll stop on the way. Greenfeld house. Sam and Foyle stand in the front room with the Greenfelds. Greenfeld: Mr Foyle, I don't want to get this young woman in trouble. There may be some perfectly innocent explanation, but... I remembered meeting you and I didn't want to call the police. Foyle: What would you like me to do? Greenfeld: Find her. Miriam: Maybe Nicholas knows something. Maybe he knows where she is. Foyle: Nicholas is? Greenfeld: Our son. Foyle: And where's Nicholas? Greenfeld: He's working today. He's a sound engineer. He's at this big London Conference. Foyle exchanges a look with Sam. Conference hall. Nicholas is directing two other men setting up sound equipment in the centre, while two other men set up a film camera. Nicholas: That one over there, that one that side and that one over there. Yep, perfect. He puts his headphones on and sits down in front of his equipment. The wire recorder is sitting in front of him. Nicholas: Can you get the cables cleared away from inside that as well? Great. He plugs cables in and starts adjusting knobs. Outside. A pair of protesters stand in front of the building with signs as people are heading in. Protester: Justice for the Jewish people. Justice! Inside. People are beginning to take their seats in the conference hall. Sam (voiceover): When does the conference start? She and Foyle are driving through the streets at speed. Foyle: Ten o'clock. Sam: Lucky I did the Fast Driving course at the MTC. She screeches around a corner, swerving to narrowly avoid a car coming the other way. Foyle: (Shit!) Did you pass? Sam: Second time. They park outside the conference venue and hurry up the steps and into the lobby. The security team are checking people's passes. Man: Yeah, yeah, sure. Foyle heads towards the stairs and one of the MI5 security staff moves to intercept him. Agent: Excuse me, sir, would you stop right there? Foyle and Sam come to a halt. Foyle: Security Service. Agent: Do you have your conference pass? Foyle: Er, no, I don't. It's very urgent. Need to speak to a Mr Valentine, head of security here. Agent: I don't know a Mr Valentine. Sam: You must know him. He's in charge. Agent: I'm afraid I can't let you through, sir, not without a pass. Foyle: I understand. He turns away and subtly jerks his head to gesture Sam in the direction of the stairs. Foyle: If you take a look at your list here... As he leads the agent towards the lists on the nearby table, Sam sprints up the stairs. Agent: Miss! Policeman: Oi! The two of them chase after her. Agent: Miss! Policeman: Oi, you can't go up there! Come here! Sam dashes on up the staircase. Agent: Stop her! Sam reaches another reception aware at the top and the men there grab her to stop her. Sam: Let me through to Mr Valentine! No, I have to, you don't understand! Griffin comes down another staircase into the room. Valentine (offscreen): Sam? She rushes towards him as he comes through another door. Sam: Mr Valentine. You have to find a Nicholas Greenfeld. He's a sound engineer. We think he might be carrying something. There was a girl, Lea Fisher. She was seen putting boxes into his car. Valentine hurries away. Conference hall. Nicholas is still setting up, fiddling with the piece of equipment that Lea carried for him. He glances up at the clock on the wall, only minutes away from ten. Staircase. Valentine and Griffin run up the stairs, Valentine pushing past another man in his hurry. Valentine: Excuse me. They hurry through into the conference hall. Valentine gestures for Griffin to follow him. In the centre, Nicholas is having trouble with his equipment. He takes his headphones off and stands up. Valentine approaches him. Valentine: Nicholas Greenfeld? Nicholas: Yes. He's in the process of adjusting some of the knobs on his equipment. Valentine: Don't touch anything. Is all this equipment yours? Nicholas: Yes. Valentine: Has anyone else had access to it? Nicholas: Why? Valentine: Just answer the question. Nicholas: Er, I don't think... Yes. The wire recor- He moves towards it. Valentine: I said don't touch anything. Nicholas: It's not working. Valentine: Please move away. It opens here? Nicholas nods. Valentine opens the casing. Inside is a ticking bmb with a clock timer. Valentine studies it as Nicholas and Griffin watch. No one else in the room has noticed anything amiss. Valentine checks his watch. Valentine: It's set for ten o'clock. Erm, let's clear the room. Griffin: (Good God.) Valentine lets out a quiet breath. Nicholas: Er... Griffin: Excuse me, can we- can we clear the room, please? Quickly as possible. Agent: As quick as you can, please, gentlemen. That's right, we have to leave. Griffin (offscreen): As quickly as possible, please. Valentine crouches in front of the bmb. Nicholas stands behind him, watching. Agent (offscreen): Quickly now, please. That's right, this way. Valentine lets out another breath. Agent (offscreen): Quickly as possible, please, ladies and gentlemen! Please! Man: After you. Agent: Quickly now, please. Agent: Thank you. Agent: This way. Nicholas stares at the bmb. Flashback to Lea and Nicholas in front of the house. Lea: I'll get the next one. Nicholas: Thank you. Present day. Nicholas stares at the bmb as it keeps ticking. Flashback to Lea turning and shaking her head as she sees him about to take her photo. Lea (voiceover): Nicholas... I'd love to... They klled my father... Cut back to Nicholas staring at the bmb. Nicholas (voiceover): I'm sure she won't want to go with me. Flashback to Lea at the dinner table. Lea: I'd love to. Flashback to Lea looking at the equipment in his room. Lea (voiceover): They're worse than the nzi... Nicholas staring at the bmb. Lea (voiceover): My mother didn't want anyone to know. Flashback to the two of them talking in the street Lea: Do you promise? Flashback to Lea studying the wire recorder. Nicholas (offscreen): It's a wire recorder. Flashback to Lea giving Nicholas a kiss on the cheek. Cut back to the present. Valentine snips through a wire attached to a detonator in the plastic explsive. A tear rolls down Nicholas's face as he watches. Valentine snips another wire, and the ticking stops. He lets out a huff of breath, and tugs out the detonators. Big Ben begins to chime the hour in the distance. Valentine: Detonators. A second later, the bmb alarm clock timer rings. Valentine: Thank goodness for my basic training. It's safe. He stands up and sighs. Griffin: Good. Hallway. Foyle and Sam walk into the conference hall as Griffin and Nicholas are heading out. Foyle: There's a young woman called Lea Fisher. We should find her. If she's not in this building, we should check ports, airports... Griffin: Right. Nicholas: Lea? They klled her father. Foyle: Are you Nicholas? Nicholas: Yeah. Foyle: I'm sorry. Southampton Docks. Lea gives her a passport to an official at a counter. He looks at it, then nods to somebody behind her. A pair of uniformed policeman approach and take hold of her arms. Policeman: Madam, come with me. The official gives her passport to one of them as they hustle her away. Woolf house. Sam waits by the car outside. Foyle (voiceover): I'm very sorry to trouble you again. He's with Ava and Daniel in the dining room. A selection of photographs are laid out on the table in front of Ava. Foyle: I'm hoping you'll recognise the men you saw running from the house. She studies the photos, then taps a picture of Hughes. Ava: This was one of them, I think. And this was the other one. She slides the photo of Aziz over beside it. Ava: It was dark, but I saw their faces. Foyle: Thank you. Daniel: Do you know who they are? Foyle: Yes. Do you? Daniel: Yes. Ord-Smith (voiceover): I have to congratulate you, Mr Foyle. He's in Sir Alec's office, along with Foyle, Griffin and Valentine. Sir Alec sits behind the desk. Ord-Smith: Thanks to your quick thinking and the tip-off, you did well. Sir Alec: That's not why you're here. Ord-Smith: Oh? Valentine: You have to pay for the death of Sir David Woolf. Ord-Smith: I'm sorry? Valentine: Lady Woolf has identified Ian Hughes and Gerry Aziz. Both worked for you under the misinformation branch of the SAS, and they've both been arrested. Ord-Smith: I see. Valentine: We also know that it was a clandestine British operation, headed presumably by you, that was responsible for blwing up several ships carrying Jews into Palestine. "Defenders of Arab Palestine"! It doesn't exist. It was a front set up by you. Ord-Smith: You do realise this is classified information? Valentine: At least you don't deny it. Ord-Smith: I don't need to. I'm following instructions from the very highest authority. We have to stop trespass. Do I have to remind you? The illegal immigration into Palestine? The government white paper of 1930 set the limits. If they are broken, it will destabilise the region and also infuriate our Arab friends. Foyle: And that licences you to blow up ships? Ord-Smith: Nobody is hurt. Our job is merely to remove the means of transportation. Foyle: Well, the Woolf family were hurt rather badly. Ord-Smith: Sir David's death was an accident. Foyle: So. you thrat him accidentally? You bat up his son accidentally? Ord-Smith: We exerted pressure, he refused to listen and we saw him talking to you. Foyle: Oh, I was there in a private capacity. Ord-Smith: We assumed he'd approached you, and so I sent Hughes and Aziz in to warn him off. Flashback to Sir David in his study with the two intruders. Sir David: You attcked my son. Aziz: You talk to the intelligence services, we'll do worse than that. Sir David: No. He pulls the desk drawer out and grabs his revolver. Hughes: Wait. Aziz draws his own pstol in response. Hughes: Wait! Aziz sh*t Sir David twice and he falls to the ground. Ord-Smith (voiceover): He produced a gn and was going to fre it. Cut back to the present. Ord-Smith: Even so, I'm rather annoyed. klling is not part of our remit. Sir Alec: You also took action to prevent Foyle investigating further. That captain, Jack Davey, did not exist. He was one of your men. Ord-Smith: Yes. Sir Alec: Misinformation. You send Foyle after Amin Al Arif. You then telephoned the hotel to warn Al Arif that Zionist trrorists were on the way. Valentine: Mr Griffin, of course, was working for you all the time. Ord-Smith: Don't blame him, he was doing his job. Sir Alec: Valentine, would you be so good as to escort Mr Griffin from the building? Valentine: Pleasure. He goes over to open the door. Griffin looks at Foyle. Griffin: No hard feelings, I hope. He leaves. Staircase. Valentine and Griffin walk down together. As they turn the corner, Griffin spots the exit door at the bottom. Griffin: Ah. I can find my own way from here. Valentine: Oh, there is one more thing, James. This is likely to get me into all kinds of difficulties. He punches Griffin in the face. Griffin is knocked back against the doorframe and sits down hard on the floor. Valentine sighs as he heads back up the stairs. Valentine: That's better. Sir Alec's office. Ord-Smith: There's really no point in going on with all this. No crimes have been committed. Foyle: Well, mrder's still a crime, as far as I'm aware. Ord-Smith: Self-defence. And I was pursuing official government policy. So, there's an end to it. Sir Alec (offscreen): I'm not sure that I agree. He stands up and walks towards Ord-Smith. Sir Alec: I want your resignation. I want you out of your office by lunchtime today. Ord-Smith: You're not serious? Sir Alec: Perfectly. We have enough evidence to destroy your entire operation. We'll see that it leaks out, and I don't give a damn about the consequences, if you don't go. Ord-Smith: Why? Sir Alec: Intimidation, volence, blwing up ships, I don't care about any of that. But when you send your spies in here, when you deliberately compromise one of my operatives, one of my very best operatives, then that's a step too far and I won't have it! I am quite serious. You are finished. Ord-Smith: You will regret this. Sir Alec: I don't think so! Ord-Smith looks at round Foyle for a moment, and then leaves. Sir Alec: Thank you, Foyle. Foyle: Not at all. Sir Alec: Back to work first thing tomorrow. Foyle: Certainly. He leaves. Police station. Rabbi Greenfeld sits with Lea in an office. Greenfeld: I just don't understand you. You would have klled many people. You would have klled my son. Lea sits beside him, staring impassively straight ahead without giving him any response. Greenfeld: You came to us, we offered you hospitality. But you used us. You made him carry it in. A homeland, yes. A Jewish state, it's what we all want. But at this price? Is this really what we have to pay? Lea remains silent. MI5 building. Addis climbs the steps to the corner entrance. Pierce steps out of the doorway to meet her at the top. Pierce: I'm rather disappointed in you. You knew where he was, you gave him the room and you didn't tell us. I thought we had an understanding? Addis: I've had second thoughts. Pierce: Really? Addis: I don't like lying. Pierce: Well, none of us like lying. You could say it was an occupational hazard. Look, just keep us up-to-date. Addis: The w*r is over, Miss Pierce. I've left all that behind me. Pierce: Well, you may have, but we haven't. Watch him. And let us know. Down on the street below, Foyle is walking by. He glances towards the corner entrance, then turns and looks again. Pierce: Good day. Foyle watches Addis leave, then turns away. After a moment he walks on.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "09x02 - Trespass"}	foreverdreaming
Street outside the MI5 building. Pierce's car is approaching. She sit in the back tapping the handle of her walking stick, Für Elise playing in her mind. The driver stops and comes round to open the door for her. Pierce, sitting humming to herself, starts slightly, then gets out. As she walks towards the building, still humming, a young man, Miles Corrigan, falls into step behind her. Pierce nods to a passing man as he tips his hat to her. Pierce: Morning. She heads up the steps to the building, and the doorman holds the door for her. Miles steps up behind her. Miles: Excuse me. Miss Pierce? Pierce: Yes? Miles: I don't suppose you remember me. Pierce: No. Miles: I didn't think you would. This is for Elise. He pulls out a revolver, sht her twice, and then runs. The doorman rushes over to check on Pierce as she tumbles down the steps. OPENING CREDITS A projector shows blurry film footage of Damian White. Sir Alec (offscreen): Let me introduce you to Damian White, a thoroughly nasty piece of work. He, Foyle and Valentine are sitting in a darkened room while a projectionist runs the film from behind them. Sir Alec: Started life as a spiv - eggs, cigarettes, petrol, all the rest of it. Since then he's branched out and now runs a criminal network that extends the length and breadth of this country. Valentine: Can't the police arrest him? Sir Alec: Apparently they can't touch him. He hides behind a legitimate business selling luxury goods. Valentine: I still wouldn't have thought the black market was our business. Sir Alec: Well, then you'd be wrong. If people like White are allowed to carry on, they're going to end up bankrupting the country. At this moment, there are a million forged petrol coupons in circulation. £13m worth of goods are stolen from delivery trucks in one year alone. We are not talking about a few pairs of silk stockings. This is organised crime and on a massive scale. Foyle: Er, the interest in him in particular? Sir Alec: Earlier this month, Mr White bought himself a golf club out in Surrey. Which will give you some idea as to his wealth. Here's one of the members. The footage shows White meeting with Arkady Kuznetsov. Valentine (offscreen): Kuznetsov. He sits forward. Valentine: That's Kuznetsov. Sir Alec: Exactly. Valentine: Er, it couldn't be a coincidence? The footage shows White take a golf cap off of a caddy's head and put it on Kuznetsov's. Sir Alec (offscreen): I don't think so. Special Branch passed this on to us and I believe we should make it a priority. The black market is one thing, but cosying up to Soviet agents is quite another. I mean, they're playing golf together, for heaven's sake! The door of the room opens. Sam (offscreen): Sir! Sir Alec: Mrs Wainwright, what on Earth do you think you're doing? Sam: I'm sorry, sir. It's Miss Pierce. Outside. Foyle at the scene of the shting. Doorman (offscreen): He was young. I'd say about 26. Foyle looks down at the bloodstain on the steps. Doorman (offscreen): Dark hair. Clean shaven. He asked her if she remembered him, and then he said, "This is for Elise," and he sht her. The doorman is telling this story to Valentine up on the steps. Valentine: Why weren't you with her? Doorman: I was holding the door. Valentine: What about the driver? Where was he while this was going on? Doorman: Oh, he dropped her off round the corner. She often did that. She liked to get fresh air. Valentine: I want a written report. Doorman: Yes, sir. Foyle and Valentine walk away from the building. Foyle: Who's Elise? Valentine: No one at the Security Service. Well, no one that I know of. Foyle: A codename, perhaps? Valentine: It's a thought. They get into the car. Sam is in the driver's seat. Foyle: Hospital, please. Hospital. Foyle and Valentine follow Doctor Parsons along the corridor. Parsons: We've removed the bllts, but, I'm afraid to say, she still hasn't recovered consciousness. They three of them look in on Pierce's hospital bed from the doorway as a nurse adjusts the bedding. Foyle: Will she? Parsons: I can't tell. Truth is, I'm amazed she's hung on this far. That kind of an impact, close range. Excuse me. He heads into the room. Foyle: Better put somebody on the door, just in case he tries again. Valentine: I want you to find him, bastard that did this. God knows I've had my differences with her, but that woman is extraordinary. Throughout the wr, SOE, now. She's given her life to the service. Nothing can stop her. Foyle: Not even two bllts. Valentine: Exactly. They turn to walk back along the corridor. Woodhead (offscreen): Are you in charge? They turn back. Sir Ian Woodhead walks up from behind them. Foyle: Sorry. You are? Woodhead: Woodhead. How is Miss Pierce? He looks in through the doorway. Valentine: They've operated but they can't tell yet. Woodhead: What do you know about this? Foyle: I was about to ask you the same question. Woodhead: Don't be impertinent with me. You're in the service? Valentine: Er, yes, sir. He gets his ID from his pocket, but Woodhead doesn't wait to see it. Woodhead: I understand she was sht in the street. How could you have allowed that to happen? And why isn't there a guard on her door? He heads into the room. Valentine and Foyle exchange a look, then turn to walk away. Valentine: You know who that was? Sir Ian Woodhead, MI6. Director of Operations. Not someone to get on the wrong side of. Foyle: Well, a bit late for me, I think. SOE? Valentine: Very much so. Block of flats. Landlord (voiceover): If you'd like to follow me, Miss Pierce's flat is on the second floor. He leads Sam and Foyle up the stairs. Pierce's flat. The two them step in and look around. Foyle lets out a slight sigh. He sees a framed photograph of Pierce in a WAAF uniform standing beside Woodhead. Sam: Is this it? Somehow I was expecting more. Foyle: Well, single, married to the job - not much of a private life, I wouldn't have thought. Sam: What are we looking for? Foyle: No idea. Sam: We've only got one name - Elise. And a man in his twenties. Not much to be getting on with. Foyle: That's why we're here. Sam walks through to another room while Foyle takes a look at a diary, bookmarked with a pen. As he picks it up, a stack of photographs fall out. Among them is one of Pierce and Woodhead with Elizabeth Addis in the background. He studies it. Kitchen. Sam opens a cupboard. There isn't much inside. Main room. Foyle goes through a stack of letters beside a typewriter. Sam: Didn't she ever eat anything? Foyle: Well, this might be a reasonable place to start. Sam walks back over to join him. He reveals a letter confirming Pierce's membership renewal for the Special Forces Club. Sam: Special Forces Club. Foyle: Yeah, it's a club for SOE and, er, intelligence. Sam: Will they be able to help, d'you think? Foyle: If they'll let us in. Special Forces Club. Sam and Foyle drive up outside and get out, approaching the building. Kenton (voiceover): I'm very sorry, sir. I can't help you. Sam and Foyle are standing with staff member Kenton in the entrance hall. Foyle: Hilda Pierce is a member here. Kenton: I'm afraid I can't tell you that. Foyle: You don't need to. I'm telling you. She's a member here. Kenton: What is your business with Miss Pierce? Foyle: I'm trying to find out who sht her. James Stafford is coming down the stairs behind Kenton. Stafford: Miss Pierce? She's been sht? Foyle: That's right. This morning. Stafford: For God's sake, Kenton, let them in. I'll sign for them. Kenton: As you wish, Mr Stafford. Stafford signs the register. Stafford (voiceover): Miss Pierce. Hilda. Lounge. Foyle and Sam sit listening to him as he sits at the bar with a drink in his hand. Stafford: Course I knew her. Everyone did. She used to pop in now and then. My section - MIR. wapon. Time-delay fuses. Limpet mines. Sticky bmb. That's what we did. We made devices that kll people and we did it rather well. I can talk to you, can't I? Foyle: I... think we're on the same side. Stafford: SOE. Special Operations Executive. Who even remembers it? End of the wr, they threw us to the wolves. Gubbins. Jefferis. The whole lot of us. One minute it's top secret, cloak and dagger, the next you're a bank clerk, or you've opened a shop, or you're lounging about in here. Foyle: "Elise". Is that a name that means anything to you? Stafford: Not off hand. Was she one of Hilda's girls? Foyle: Could be. Stafford: Trouble is, all the girls had different names then. In training and in the field. I can ask around for you, if you like. Foyle: I'd be grateful. Stafford: You know what the life expectancy of an operator was back then? Six bloody weeks. Here's to them, eh? He raises his glass in a toast, then takes a drink. White's golf club. A car approaches the building, parking among several others. Derek Gates gets out of the back. Inside. White's right-hand man, Neville Smith, leads Derek up a staircase. Neville stops outside the door of White's office. Office. White is standing talking on the phone. White: Don't you worry about it, Archie. I'll see you at the Blue Lantern. You look after yourself. Ta-ta. He hangs up. There's a knock at the door, and Neville opens it to escort Derek in. Neville: Mr White? White: Derek! Come in. Take a pew. Nice to see you. Derek sits down. Neville stays standing behind him. Derek looks up at him for a moment before turning back. At the table, White sets out teacups for them both. White: It's been a while. You been avoiding me? Derek: No. No, not at all. White: It's all right, Neville, you can leave us now. Go and get yourself something down in the bar. Neville leaves. White stirs the teapot, then sits down opposite Derek. White: You play golf, Derek? Derek: Nah. White: You should come and try a round. Bring your lovely wife. Doris, isn't it? Derek: No, it's Doreen. White: And those kids of yours. Six and nine? Derek: That's it. White: The thing is, Derek, you and I have a business arrangement. You give me the information and every month I give you remuneration. It couldn't be simpler, really. Except, you seem to be letting the side down. Derek: Well, I haven't had any big runs recently, so I haven't been in getting in touch with you. White: That's not what I've heard. I've heard you're going out tomorrow from Redhill. Half a million fg, that's what I've heard. Derek: I only found out last night. I didn't have enough time to get it touch with you. White stands up and pours the tea. White: Don't you worry. That's why I invited you over. A nice cup of char together. A chat about old times. And you can tell me. What's the route? Wainwright house. Sam is stirring something cooking on the stove. Adam (offscreen): Hello. Sam: Hello. He walks over to look over her shoulder Adam: What's that? Sam: Whale. Adam: Is it a new craving? He gives her a kiss. Sam: They say it tastes like beef. Adam: Mmm. It doesn't smell like beef. Sam: Yeah. That's what I thought. He sits down at the table. Sam goes over to the kettle, then pauses for a moment, resting against the countertop. Adam: You okay? Sam: Just a twinge. She bends down to open the oven door, and groans a little. Adam: Sam, I think you're gonna have to talk to the... She brings a dish of baked potatoes over to the table. Sam: Yeah, I know. Adam: Once they see that you're pregnant, you're not going to be able to... Sam: I know. Something happened at work today, Adam. I... I can't really talk about it. I can't leave right now. It just... It wouldn't be fair. Adam: You must do what you think's best... but I think you're gonna have to do it soon. University College. Elizabeth Addis lets Foyle into a private lounge. Addis: How are you? Foyle: I'm very well. And you? Addis: Fine. Foyle: Good. Addis: How can I help? Foyle: I thought you should know that... Hilda's been sht. Addis: Hilda Pierce? Foyle: Well, how many Hildas do you and I know? Addis: Is she dad? Foyle: No, she's very ill, and doing, er, as well as can be expected in the circumstances. Addis goes over to sit down on the arm of a sofa. Foyle: How long have you known Hilda? Addis: Six years. Foyle: Since the SOE was established? Addis: Shortly after, yes. Foyle: And in spite of that, in spite of you being aware of my relationship to Hilda within the service, you've never once mentioned her or acknowledged that you even knew her. Addis: There's a reason for that. Hilda came to me. She explained that you were unconventional and that worried them. She asked me to keep an eye on you and report back. Foyle: And what was in the report? Addis: Nothing. Foyle: Well, if you'd mentioned all this at the beginning, I could have helped you with that and saved you both a lot of trouble. Addis: I didn't want to do that. I met Hilda, and told her I had too high a regard for you. I said I couldn't do the job. Foyle: You'd perhaps understand why I wouldn't necessarily believe that. MI6 offices. Addis walks through to an office where Woodhead is speaking with an agent. Woodhead gives the man a nod and hands him a file, and he leaves as Addis walks in. Woodhead: So, you've heard, then? Addis: You weren't going to tell me? The agent closes the door behind him. Woodhead: I'll be honest and say it wasn't first on my list of priorities. Addis: So you don't think this has something to do with Plato? Woodhead: The thought had occurred to me, but I don't see how it's possible. No, the man that sht her mentioned an agent, Elise. He seems to have acted out of some sort of personal revenge. Addis: You'll find him? Woodhead: Of course. They've put a good man on the job. Addis: So I understand. MI5 building. Valentine walks through the corridor towards Foyle's office. There's the sound of a phone ringing, and he opens the door just as Foyle goes over to pick it up. Valentine: She survived the night. Foyle: Well, that's something. He puts the phone to his ear and turns away. Foyle: Yes? Stafford (over phone): Hello, Mr Foyle? Valentine closes the door. Special Forces Club. Stafford stands using the phone in the hallway. Stafford: Stafford here. I've got something for you. Elise's real name was Sophie Corrigan. You can find her mother at Allenbrook Lodge in Stratfield Witney. Allenbrook Lodge. Joyce Corrigan leads Foyle through the front hall. Joyce: There's not much I can tell you about my daughter's work, Mr Foyle, because she never told me. And I'm not sure there's very much I can tell you about her family life that will help you. She leads him into the dining room. Für Elise is playing in the background. Foyle: Well, I was wondering about the SOE and how she became a part of all that. Joyce: Well, because they asked her. A drab little letter from the wr Office, asking her to go to a building in Baker Street, and that was it. I suppose I should be proud of her, but I'm not going to lie to you. I wish she'd never gone. Flashback. Sophie sits at the piano, playing Für Elise. A younger Joyce walks in with a basket of flowers. Joyce: You shouldn't play that. Sophie: What? Joyce: German music. You know what Miles says. Sophie: Even Miles can't blame Beethoven for the wr. Joyce: I'm not so sure of that. Sophie: Where is he? Joyce: He's in the garden. You do know what you're doing? Sophie: I've told you. Joyce: You've told me nothing, and certainly not the truth. Do credit me with a little intelligence, Sophie. I've not interfered. I just want you to be sure... She sits down on the piano bench beside Sophie. Joyce: That you've thought it all through. Sophie: Yes. Joyce: You're just like your father. You won't be told. Now, come on. Finish it. I like to hear you play. Sophie goes back to playing. Joyce (voiceover): She was klled in Paris, in May '44. Cut back to the present. Joyce: It was her first mission. Foyle: An... only child? Joyce: No. She has an older brother, Miles. Foyle: Where is he? Joyce: You haven't told me why you're asking all these questions. Foyle: Well, someone, er, who knew your daughter very well was hurt rather badly yesterday. Joyce: Well, a lot of people knew my daughter rather well, Mr Foyle. She was much loved. Foyle: Hilda Pierce. Would that mean anything to you? Joyce: Oh, yes. Yes, I've met her. She came here two years ago. She was the one who told us about Sophie's death. Foyle: Would Miles have met her? Joyce: Yes. Foyle: You wouldn't have a... photograph of him, would you? Joyce: Why? Foyle: Well, no, just curious. She leads him through into the next room, where framed family photos cover the top of the piano. Foyle picks up one of Miles in a RAF uniform. Joyce goes over and turns off the radio, still playing Für Elise. Next to it stands a birthday card marked "For Mother". Joyce: You say someone was hurt, but Miles wouldn't hurt anyone. We've gone through a great deal, Mr Foyle, especially Miles. He's always been very sensitive and... when his father left us, that was bad enough. But Sophie was everything to him, and they were inseparable. Foyle: My son was a pilot, too. Joyce: Fighters? Foyle: Yes. Joyce: Then you'll know how hard it was for them when it was all over. Foyle: I do. Joyce: Miles went for a job in insurance. But he never got used to it. He was always so... sad. He still lives here with me but I haven't seen him since the morning of my birthday. Foyle: When was that? Joyce: Two days ago. We were supposed to have dinner together that evening, but he... went out and never came back. He was angry about something. Outside. Joyce is seeing Foyle out. Foyle: If, erm, Miles ever does make an appearance, you might ask him to call me on that number. He gives her a card. Joyce: Of course. Foyle: Thank you. He walks over to where Sam is waiting for him by the car. Flashback. Pierce, in uniform, stands beside a military vehicle parked in the same place. Elise walks over to join her, carrying a suitcase. Sophie: Hello, Miss Pierce. Pierce: Let me take that. Sophie: Thank you. Pierce puts the suitcase in the back. Sophie turns back towards the house. Sophie: I'll write to you. Cut back to the present. Joyce starts to tear up as she remembers. Flashback. Miles steps up beside his mother in his RAF uniform. Miles: Why does she have to go? Joyce: She'll come back. Bridge. Derek Gates is driving a lorry towards the bridge. As he reaches it, he sees Neville Smith walking towards him, and comes to a halt. A group of other men run up behind Neville. Neville: You got 'em? Derek: Yeah, they're in the back. Neville turns to his men. Neville: All right. Let's get to work. He hauls Derek out of the driver's seat, and Derek groans. Round the back, the men start unloading the creates of cigarettes. Man: Come on. Man: Give me that. Derek is sitting on the bridge as Neville ties his hands behind him. Neville: Let's get the story straight. Derek: Yeah. Neville: You were driving along, when a man stepped out dressed as a copper. Derek: Yeah, and then I slowed down. Neville: You stopped. Derek: Yeah, I stopped. Neville: He dragged you out of the cabin and made you sit down. Derek: Yeah. Yeah, and I never seen his face. Neville: That's right. He tied you up and he sht you. Derek: Eh? Neville draws a gn and aims it at Derek. Neville: Mr White says goodbye. He fires and Derek flops to the ground. One of the men leans out of the back of the lorry to look. Neville: Get on with it! Green Lane, West Peckham. Adam is walking along with Glenvil Harris. Adam: I mean, the idea of building these new estates is fine, but Bevan's right. They round a corner, passing through a street market. Adam: Where's the butcher, the baker? Because without them, how are people going to get any sense of community? Glenvil: Well, they can move out of London. Adam: That's not the answer. One of the street traders, Blakey, turns to them as they pass. Blakey: Morning, gentlemen. What can I do for you? Got a load of socks, just off the lorry. Adam comes over to take a look. Man: All right. Blakey: Yeah. Have a look at that. Twelve bob in the shops. Four bob to you, no coupons. Or... nylons for the ladies, or beautiful sheets. All the best quality. Adam jerks his head towards Glenvil. Adam: Socks. Blakey: Socks. Pure wool. Keep your feet warm in the winter. Lovely. Now, listen, listen. When was the last time you had your hands on a bottle of scotch? 'Cause I can fix it for you. Adam: Where did you get these? Blakey: I don't ask where you get your money, you don't ask where I get my socks. Adam: How much did you say? Glenvil: Don't buy 'em. Blakey: What? Glenvil: We're not interested. Blakey: All right, all right. Keep your hair on. There's plenty who are. Adam: Thank you. He hands the socks back and moves away. Man: Here. Blakey: Socks! Man: I'll have a pair of those. Blakey: Certainly, sir. Adam and Glenvil walk on Glenvil: Stolen goods being sold in the middle of West Peckham. It's wrong. Adam: You don't know they were stolen. Glenvil: Oh, come on, Adam. Where do you think he got them from? These people are spivs. Half of 'em are deserters. The rest of them got out of serving on medical grounds. Adam: Maybe they're giving people what they want. Glenvil: What, breaking the law? You support that? Adam: No. But I don't see any harm in cheering people up. Glenvil: What? Adam: There's nothing in the shops. The British loaf's rubbish. Rationing's as bad as ever. Sometimes it doesn't feel like we won the wr. Glenvil scoffs, coming to a halt. Glenvil: I'm surprised at you. If there was one thing that struck me about you when we first met, it was your honesty, even if it has got you into trouble sometimes. But here you are standing up for criminals. I think you should report him. He walks on and Adam follows. Sir Alec's office. He's looking at the photograph of Miles Corrigan. Sir Alec: I have to say well done, Mr Foyle. Foyle and Valentine are both standing before his desk. Sir Alec: You've acted quickly and very effectively. We'll find Miles Corrigan soon enough. Foyle: Well, I'd be happy to continue with it if it's all the same to you. Sir Alec: I'm afraid not. You seem to be forgetting the rather more pressing matter of Damian White. Foyle: More pressing than Hilda? Sir Alec: Half a million cigarettes stolen this morning in transit from a NAAFI warehouse in Redhill, the driver sht dad. White was almost certainly the man behind it. Not, of course, that he was anywhere near. Foyle: Can't see that this is to do with Kuznetsov and the Soviets. Valentine: Not unless they've taken up smoking. Sir Alec: Yes, I'll thank you not to be flippant, Valentine. When we have a major criminal consorting with the known enemies of our country, I think that is a matter that needs to be investigated. Hospital room. Woodhead sits on the foot of Pierce's bed. She gradually sits awake, and he smiles. Woodhead: Unlike you not to watch your back, Hilda. Pierce: Mmm. Losing my grip. Woodhead: I wouldn't say that. Pierce: Mmm. Not to my face. You know who this was. Woodhead: "Elise". Pierce: Sophie Corrigan. Woodhead: Of course. I remember her. Pierce: This is Plato. Woodhead: I don't think so. Why now, after all this time? Pierce: She died. Woodhead: A lot of operatives died. Are we going to hold you responsible for all of them? Or any of them? They knew what they were doing. Pierce: I'm sorry, Ian. I'm tired. Woodhead: Of course. I'll leave you. He stands up to go, then turns back. Woodhead: I was very shocked to hear what had happened, my dear. I'm relieved you're all right. I wanted you to know that. He leaves. Pierce closes her eyes. In her memory, she hears the sound of someone knocking on a door. Pierce (voiceover): Come in. Flashback to the SOE offices. Sophie Corrigan walks in and Pierce stands up from her desk. Pierce: Ah. Bonjour. Sophie: Bonjour, madame. Pierce: Je m'appelle Hilda Pierce. Asseyez-vous. Sophie: Merci. They both sit down. Pierce: J'espère que vous avez navigué pas de problème trouver le bureau? Sophie: Non, je l'ai trouvé très facilement, merci. Pierce: And you've spoken to Mr Caplin? Sophie: Yes. We spoke for some time. But I still don't know why I'm here. Pierce: You're here because you speak fluent French, you lived in Paris for a while. I understand your father is French. Sophie: Yes. Pierce: You've got a first-class degree from Oxford in mathematics, and I believe you could be very useful to us. Sophie: In what way? Pierce: Well, I can't tell you that until you've signed the Official Secrets Act. But what I can tell you is that although this work that I'm offering you is extremely dangerous, it is vital to the wr effort. It may mean you being away from home for some time. And you cannot tell anyone, not your family, not even your mother, anything about it. Am I making myself clear? Sophie: You're making yourself very unclear, Miss Pierce. Hospital room. Pierce smiles slightly to herself. Golf club. Foyle and Valentine drive towards the building and get out of the car. White (voiceover): It's not often I get a call from the Security Service. He sits at a table in the club lounge with the two of them standing in front of him. White: Would you like a drink? Valentine: Not for me, thanks. Foyle: Er, no, I won't, thank you. White clears his throat, and the bartender leaves the room. White: So, anything I can do to help? Valentine: Ah, perhaps you can start by telling us a bit about your business. White: I'm afraid I can't do that. It's against the rules. No business in the club lounge. He laughs to himself. White: But since we're amongst friends, what do you want to know? I run a lot of businesses. There's the used cars, and a couple of clubs, luxury goods. Valentine: Cigarettes? He has his cigarette case open in front of him. White: No. No perishables. Toasters, towel rails. That sort of thing. Valentine: What did you do during the wr? White: Eyesight. Tragic. Couldn't join up. Foyle: Er, d'you know a man called Kuznetsov? White: Kuznetsov? Foyle: Mm-hmm. White: Arkady! My God, you have been busy! What, have you been photographing me with one of your secret cameras or something? I thought the Russkies were meant to be our friends. Valentine: You know him. Hmm. White: Honorary member. We've played a round or two of golf. No crime in that. Valentine: Do you do business together? White: Against the rules. I just told you. You're not investigating him? Valentine: No, we, we don't need to investigate him. We know all about him. The Assistant Military Attaché at the Soviet Embassy. White: Well, then let me tell you something you may not know. He's a lousy golfer. You want to know the truth? Truth is, you shouldn't be hounding people like me. It's people like me that are gonna put this country back on its feet. Foyle: Is that right? White: Six years of misery. All those deaths. And what was it for? Austerity and penny-pinching? Forget it. That's not what people want any more. No. They want to smoke and drink and enjoy themselves. They want to wear new clothes and go on holiday. But that's not what you represent, is it? No. You're still stuck in the wr, stuck in the past, and you just don't see it. You're not wanted any more. Now, d'you mind? I've got some golf to play. He stands up. Someone opens the door behind them. Foyle: Till the next time. He and Valentine leave. West Peckham constituency office. Chief Superintendent Alan Usborne walks through the corridors. He knocks on the office door and then enters. Adam and Glenvil are at the desk looking at paperwork. Usborne: Mr Wainwright? I'm Chief Superintendent Usborne. I understand you called my desk sergeant. Adam: Well, it's very good of you to look in. Usborne: Oh, not at all. I happened to be passing, and if there's anything I can do for my local MP... Adam: Please. Usborne: Now, what's this about? Spivs? Adam: At the Green Lane Market. Usborne: I got your note, yes. What exactly is the problem? Glenvil: The problem is that we have people quite clearly breaking the law and nobody seems to be doing anything about it. Usborne: Let me stop you there. What evidence do you have that they're breaking the law? Adam: Well, only this morning we were offered socks off the back of a lorry, er, nylon stockings, whisky. Usborne: That's the sales pitch. Adam: So, you're saying it isn't true? Usborne: What if it is? I'd have said we were stretched enough already. Burglaries, robberies with volence. If Nurse Riff-Rafferty wants to pick up a few nylons on the sly, where's the harm in it? Glenvil: I don't agree. Usborne: Frankly, I wouldn't say it's any of your business, Mr... Glenvil: Harris. Adam: Chief Superintendent, I'm the one raising the matter. And I think we need to take action. Usborne: And I wouldn't have said it's the job of the local MP to dictate police procedure. Adam: We're not talking about procedure. We're talking about the law. Usborne: Very well. In my view, it's a complete waste of resources, but I'll look into it. Green Lane, you said? Adam: That's right. Usborne: I'll show myself out. He leaves and Glenvil exchanges a look with Adam. Foyle's office. He's getting ready to leave when the telephone rings. He clears his throat as he goes back to pick it up. Foyle: Hello? He straightens up as he listens. Waterfront, night. Foyle looks around. There's the click of a gn and he turns. Miles Corrigan approaches him, the revolver held down by his side. Miles: You're Foyle. Foyle: Yes. Miles: You came alone? Foyle: You asked me to. Miles puts the gn away. Foyle: So you've spoken to your mother? Miles: She doesn't know anything about this. Foyle: She's very worried about you. Why are you doing this? Miles: They klled Sophie. Foyle: The wr klled Sophie. Miles: They knew what they were doing, that she would die. Foyle: How can you know that? Miles: I haven't finished yet. I'm going to get all of them. Foyle: Hilda Pierce isn't dad. You haven't klled her. There's still time to stop this. Miles: My sister didn't achieve anything. She was tortured and excuted, and the people who sent her to France, they knew exactly what was going to happen. They wanted it to happen. Foyle: Why would they want that? Miles: I don't know. You find out and tell me. Then I'll give myself up. Foyle: Miles... Miles: Hilda Pierce knew and she did nothing. He turns to walk away. Miles: Next time I won't miss. Wainwright house, daylight. Sam is lying in bed. Adam comes in with a cup of tea and touches her shoulder. Adam: Tea? Sam: Oh, you are sweet. She groans and sits up. Sam: Oh. Adam heads over to the dresser to put his tie on. He picks up a package of stockings. Adam: These yours? Sam: Well, whose else would they be? Adam: They're nylon. Sam: You mustn't be angry with me, Adam. They were ten bob. I know it's outrageous but you can't get them anywhere. Adam: No, I'm not... I'm not angry. I'm just wondering where you got them from. He comes back over to sit on the bed. Sam: A man in the market. He gets them from America. You don't mind, do you? Adam: No. No, not at all. No, it's just... Sam: What? Adam: Oh, it's nothing. No, it doesn't matter. You, er, you're not going to work? Sam: No. I got the day off. MI5 building. Foyle knocks on the door of Sir Alec's office. Sir Alec (offscreen): Come. Foyle walks in and closes the door behind him. Inside. Sir Alec is sitting reading from a file in an armchair by the fre. Sir Alec: I thought I told you to concentrate on White. Foyle: I've done precisely that. Sir Alec: Then how do you account for this meeting with Miles Corrigan? Foyle: He telephoned me. I left a number with his mother. Sir Alec: And you went alone? Foyle: It's what he wanted. Sir Alec: Well, you might have been klled. And more to the point, if you'd shared this information, we might have been able to bring him in. As it is, we now have a young man out there, clearly deranged, who's thrat to commit all manner mayhem. Foyle: No, I don't think that's the case. His intentions would appear to be very specific. Sir Alec: Well, who are the others? Foyle: Perhaps Hilda could help with that. Sir Alec: All right. Talk to her. You know, Foyle, I never very much cared for SOE, if you want the truth. They were a rag-tag sort of an operation, too secretive by half and frequently out of control. But Miss Pierce was different. I've always had the greatest admiration for her. Foyle: I know that. Sir Alec: Well, do what you have to. Sort this out. Let me know. Foyle: I will. He leaves. A knock on a door. Pierce (voiceover): Come. Foyle walks into Pierce's hospital room. She's now dressed and sitting up in bed, but still has her left arm in a sling. Pierce: Mr Foyle. No flowers? Foyle: Ah. He snaps his fingers. Pierce: Maybe at my funeral, hmm? Foyle: Well, that won't be happening for a little while, so I'm told. Pierce: I see you've given me protection. Whose idea was that? Foyle: Well, actually, it was somebody called Woodhead. Pierce: Oh, Ian? Was he very unpleasant? Foyle: Well, he's to the point. Pierce: Mmm. That's his way. He's not really like that. I hear you have a name. Foyle: Yes. Miles... Corrigan. He sits down beside the bed. Pierce: Sophie's brother. Foyle: Mmm. Spitfire pilot... awarded the DSO. Pierce: He holds me responsible for her death. Foyle: Was it you who recruited her? Pierce: Yes. She was an obvious choice. Bilingual, degree from Oxford, intelligent. Lovely girl. Played the piano. Piano players always made the best radio operators. They had the best touch. Für Elise plays in her memory. Pierce: She was also very pretty. Foyle: Was that important? Pierce: Well, it helped. Foyle: And what happened to her? Pierce: Three days after she arrived, she walked into a café in Paris... and the Gestapo were waiting for her. The ninth agent we lost in the space of a few months. Foyle: Nine? Pierce: There were only two possibilities. Either the circuit in France had been compromised, which was unthinkable, or there was a traitor here in the SOE. That's what Ian thought, so he gave them a name. Plato. Foyle: Did you find them? Pierce: Well, we couldn't look into it ourselves 'cause we were too close. We had to find someone outside Section F2, but still within the SOE. In the end, I recruited someone I knew from the Cairo Office. A planning officer, assistant to Major General Stawell. Foyle: Well, that would have been, er, Elizabeth Addis. Pierce: Of course, you know her. Foyle: We've met. Addis (voiceover): Ian Woodhead came to see me early in '44. Foyles sits across from her in her office. Addis: He asked me to find Plato. Nine agents had died. There had to be someone inside SOE feeding information to the Germans. I interviewed more than 40 people over a three-month period. It wasn't easy. We couldn't let everyone know what we suspected. We had to think of morale. At the end of the day, I was able to bring it down to three suspects. Five, if you included Woodhead and Pierce. They were the only ones who had information on all nine agents. Foyle: So, who were they? Addis: Eric Caplin, Director of Operations and Training. He's a civil servant now. Senior. Foyle: Which department? Addis: I don't know. I'm sorry. Peter Hawtrey, Head of Codes and Communications until he resigned. I don't know where he is now. And there was Luc Tellier. "Lucky Luke". He was part of the moon squadrons. Foyle: What was that? Addis: The transport service landing agents in Northern France, flying out of Tangmere on the Sussex coast. Foyle: Did he fly all of them? Addis: All nine of them, yes. Foyle: Did you speak to him? Addis: Several times. To be honest, I didn't particularly like him, but I couldn't prove anything. And finally, it was inconclusive. Tellier struck me as the most likely suspect, but I couldn't be sure that any of them were double agents. Wainwright house. A man in overalls approaches the house, carrying a clipboard. He knocks and Sam answers the door. Workman: Er, Mrs Wainwright? Sam: Yes? Workman: We've had a report of a gas leak. Sam: What? From here? Workman: That's right, ma'am. I wonder if I could come in and have a butcher's. Sam: Erm, I haven't smelt anything. Workman: Well, it's, it's probably nothing, but better to be on the safe side. Sam: All right. You'd better come in. He follows her into the house. Kitchen. Music is playing on the radio as Sam folds a rack of drying laundry out of the way. The workman sets his bag down on the kitchen table. Woodhead's office. Foyle sits across from him at his desk. Woodhead: Mrs Addis did a first-class job. An external investigation. Rigorous, fair, and extremely thorough. Foyle: But inconclusive. Woodhead: I wouldn't say that. She narrowed the field. He picks up three files. Woodhead: Tellier. Hawtrey. Caplin. It had to be one of them. Foyle: But you found nothing. Woodhead: Er, you were a policeman during the wr, tucked away in Hastings. You won't have much idea of what it was like for us. Foyle: Well, that would be correct. You and Hilda Pierce were suspected. Isn't that right? Woodhead: I was the one who instigated the Plato inquiry, for heaven's sake. As for Hilda, I won't hear a word said against her. She lived for those girls, her operatives. If anything, she was too close to them. Foyle: What do you mean by that? Woodhead: Only that she felt their loss very keenly. We were playing a dangerous game, Mr Foyle. I always said it was better to keep a distance. Foyle: Where can I find these men? Woodhead hands over the files to him one by one. Woodhead: Caplin is with GEN-75 Committee over in Whitehall. I can arrange for you to meet him. Foyle: Thank you. Woodhead: Tellier is still flying. He's no longer with the service, of course. And Hawtrey has disappeared off the face of the earth. He may not even be in the country. You can keep those if you like. Woodhead pushes the files over to him as he stands up. Foyle: Thank you. Woodhead: This man, Miles Corrigan, do you really think he might go after them? Foyle stands up. Foyle: Oh, absolutely. And foolish to assume he won't come after you, too. He leaves. Park. Miles watches from over a hedge as Eric Caplin walks through the park. He sits down on a bench at the base of wall, waiting. Neville Smith approaches and turns to stand beside Caplin without looking at him directly, taking out a cigarette. Neville: Mr Caplin, how are you? Caplin: I'm all right. Neville: I'm glad to hear that. Have you got it? Caplin: You, You listen to me. You don't understand the risks I'm taking. They're, they're gonna notice. Now, you tell Mr White... Neville: Tell him what? He comes over and sits down next to Caplin. Caplin: Nothing. Doesn't matter. But... there's not going to be anything else, not for a while. He lifts the corner of a newspaper in his lap. Neville takes an envelope from between the pages and tucks it in his pocket. Neville: I've got a message for you. From Archie. Caplin: What? Neville: It's just he's looking forward to seeing you, if you're around next Friday. Caplin: Archie said that? Neville: Same time. Blue Lantern. You look after yourself. He gets up and walks away. Caplin does too. From some distance away, Miles is still watching. A busy street. As Caplin walks along, Miles follows him at a distance. Caplin crosses the road. Behind him, Miles draws his revolver. He starts to walk after him, then abruptly pulls back and hides the pstol down at his side. Across the road, Caplin has just met up with a group of other men. Caplin: Good lunch? Man: Mm-hmm. Caplin: Me too. Well, come on, then. Sorry. They walk on together. Miles watches Caplin head inside a building, then turns to leave. Wainwright house. Adam sits in the armchair having a drink while Sam is in the kitchen. There's a knock on the front door. Adam: Who's that? Bit late. Sam: I'll go. She answers the door and finds a police car and a group of uniformed officers outside, headed by DI Skinner. Skinner: Mrs Wainwright? Sam: Yes. Skinner: My name's Detective Inspector Skinner. I'm from the Metropolitan Police. I have a warrant here to search these premises. In the sitting room, Adam gets up from his chair. Skinner heads past Sam into the house. Skinner: So, excuse me, please. Sam: What are you talking about? Woman: What's going on down there? Woman: Not sure. Inside. Skinner directs the police officers to different rooms. Skinner: Over there. Adam: What is this? Skinner: I've explained everything to your wife, sir. My name's DI Skinner. Adam: Do you know who I am? I'm the MP for this area. Skinner: I know perfectly well who you are, sir. We've received information that you may be in possession of forged ration coupons. Adam: Well, that's ridiculous! Skinner: Then you won't mind if we take a look. Adam: Of course I mind. This is outrageous. Sam: Adam. Adam: I want to know the name of your superior officer. Skinner: Certainly, sir. It's Chief Superintendent Usborne. Policeman (offscreen): Sir... He comes in with a large stack of cigarette cartons. Skinner: Are these yours, sir? Do you smoke? Outside. Adam is led out to the police car by the police officers. Sam watches them drive away. Daylight. Sam and Adam are both standing in the kitchen, Sam holding a newspaper. Sam: This was my fault. Adam: No, it wasn't. Sam: Yes, it was. As usual. She tosses down the newspaper, which has the headline LOCAL MP ARRESTED. Sam: There was a man who came to the house. He said there was a gas leak, but there was no gas leak. I think that's when they must have done it. Adam: When was this? Sam: Yesterday. Adam: You weren't to know. Sam: What did Mr Harris say? Adam: Erm, when I got bailed this morning, he told me to come home and stay here. He's trying to sort things out with the Chief Whip. Sam: I won't let them do this to you, Adam. It's not fair! Adam: Come on, now, Sam. There's nothing you can do. She laughs. Sam: I think you're forgetting who I work for. Adam: You can't get them involved. Sam: Why not? This whole thing stinks. Adam: Please, Sam. I'll deal with it. We'll deal with it. You promise me you won't get into any trouble on my account. Special Forces Club. Stafford, holding a drink in his hand, is speaking with Kenton in the hallway. Stafford: You sure? Kenton nods. Stafford heads through into the lounge, where Luc Tellier is at the bar. Stafford: Well, well, well. Monsieur Tellier gracing us with his presence. Haven't seen you in a while. Tellier: I've been away. Stafford: Still flying? Tellier: What else is there? Stafford: Based at Tangmere? Tellier: Eh. He shrugs. Stafford: What'll you have? Tellier: Another Pernod. Stafford: You, er, hear about Hilda? Someone put a bllet in her. Tellier: Oh, really? How is she? Stafford: She'll pull through. Tellier: Shame. Stafford: You never did much like her, did you? Tellier: Well, James, she was always a woman who knew how to make enemies. Stafford drains his glass. Stafford: I'll join you in a minute. Same again. Kenton (offscreen): Yes, Mr Stafford. GEN-75 Committee offices, Whitehall. Valentine and Foyle walk through the office to where Caplin is standing. Secretary: Mr Caplin. Caplin: Thank you. Mr Valentine, Mr Foyle. You're from the Security Service, is that right? There's nothing wrong, I hope. Valentine: We're here about, er, Hilda Pierce. Caplin: Hilda? Of course. Yes. I can't imagine why anyone would want to do such a thing. Valentine: The man who tried to kll her was Miles Corrigan. You know his sister, Sophie Corrigan. Caplin: Elise. Valentine: Mm-hmm. He believes that your section of SOE was somehow responsible for her death. Caplin: Well, that's absurd. It was a dreadful time. We, we lost a great many agents, but, well, it wasn't anyone's fault. Valentine: There was an informer. Caplin: No, there was an inquiry. Dragged on for months. Even after the wr, they were still asking questions. But, but nothing was proved. Foyle: You were suspected, weren't you? Caplin: If there was a leak, if anyone was giving out information, I had nothing to do with it. You should... talk to Hawtrey. Valentine: Peter Hawtrey? Caplin: That's right. He, he resigned a few weeks before Elise was klled. Just upped and went. I always... wondered about that. He was always a, a bit of an outsider. Valentine: You suspected him? Caplin: Look, I was ops and training. I, I didn't really know what was going on in the field. I wasn't in a position to suspect anybody. All I'm saying is, if anyone stuck out, it was him. Valentine: Mm-hmm. Do you know where we can find him? Caplin: No idea. Look, I'm sorry. Outside. Foyle and Valentine walk out of the building together. Foyle: Nervy sort of chap, wouldn't you say? Valentine: Couldn't agree more. He turns to a man standing nearby. Valentine: Don't let him out of your sight. Agent: Yes, sir. Newsvendor (offscreen): News! News! MI5 offices. Sir Alec walks through the corridors carrying a set of files, and enters the outer office in front of Foyle's. Sam stands up from the desk. Sam: Sir. Sir Alec: Mrs Wainwright, where's Mr Foyle? Sam: I was looking for him, too, sir. He asked me to meet him after he got back from Whitehall. Sir Alec hands her the files. Sir Alec: I've got these for him. Sam: Are these urgent, sir? Sir Alec: Telephone intercepts sent over from Special Branch. Black market. Damian White. He turns to go, then turns back. Sir Alec: You all right, Mrs Wainwright? Sam: Yes, I'm... I'm very well. Thank you, sir. Sir Alec (offscreen): You don't seem quite yourself. He looks at her for a moment, then leaves. Sam takes the files through to set on Foyle's desk. She flips the top one open, and sees a transcript of a telephone conversation between Mr D. White and Mr A. Usborne. Pierce's block of flats. Pierce, arm still in a sling, walks in with Woodhead. There are a pair of agents on guard outside the door behind them. Pierce: Oh, this is so kind of you. Woodhead: Yes, well, you heard what the doctor said. It's too soon. You shouldn't have left. Pierce: Oh. You think you could have stopped me? Woodhead: No, which is why I gave you a lift. He looks up at the flights of stairs above. Woodhead: Here. Take my arm. Pierce: You're not serious? He looks back at the agents outside the glass doors. Woodhead: Well, just as far as the front door of the flat. She rather hesitantly takes his arm. Woodhead (voiceover): Will you be all right here? Pierce (voiceover): Well, I've managed for the last twenty years. She's sitting on the sofa in her flat while Woodhead stands over her. Woodhead: You know what I mean. Pierce: Yes, I'll be fine. Woodhead: Can I get you anything? Cup of tea? Pierce: You've never made a cup of tea in your life. Woodhead: Oh, I can probably work out the procedure. Pierce: Glass of water would be nice. He heads through into the kitchen. Woodhead: So... this is where you live? I've... often wondered. Pierce: Have you? Woodhead: Occasionally. He opens a cupboard. Pierce: Bottom left. Woodhead: Ah. Right. Pierce: I don't think I ever really did live here. I think I only came here to sleep. Woodhead: Those were the days. Pierce: Were they? Woodhead: We were part of history. What we achieved - the SOE - will never be forgotten. He brings the glass of water out to set on the coffee table. Pierce: But at what cost? Woodhead: Of course it was bloody. We always knew it would be hard. But to take the fight to the enemy behind the lines... Pierce: Elise lasted three days. Woodhead: Maybe we need to resign ourselves, Hilda. He sits down on the arm of the sofa. Woodhead: We may never know what really happened. Pierce: Why did we never find him? Woodhead: Plato? It wasn't for want of looking. You knew how hard things were. You knew the risks we were running. Pierce: But three days. Woodhead: Her life wasn't wasted. We came through in the end. We were there on D-Day. It was our agents, our intelligence, that made the difference. We played our part. Pierce: I know. Woodhead: I wouldn't change anything for what we achieved, you and me. And Elise, all the others, they would agree. Pierce: D'you think so? Woodhead: I couldn't live with myself if they didn't. She lays a hand on his arm. Woodhead: Do you want me to stay? Pierce: No. Go. I want to lie down. But come back. He smiles and then turns to leave. Pierce lies down against the back of the sofa with an oof. Flashback to an airfield at night. A plane is sitting ready to depart. Pierce walks over to meet Sophie as she comes round the back of a car with her suitcases. Pierce: How are you feeling? Sophie sets the cases down on the ground. Sophie: I thought I'd be more nervous. Pierce: Well, be nervous. Be afraid. Fear will help keep you alive. Here. I have something for you. Just something I'd like you to have. It was given to me by my mother. She hands Sophie a brooch. Sophie: It's beautiful. Thank you. Pierce pins it on her jacket for her. Pierce: I don't think it's very valuable. And, don't worry, it is French. Ha. She steps back. Pierce: There. Now I can think of you wearing it. Sophie: Thank you, Miss Pierce. Thank you for everything. She bends down to pick up her cases again. Pierce: Just promise me you'll take care. Sophie: I promise. She walks across the airfield and climbs into the plane. As it taxis away, Pierce heads back to the car. She pauses a moment to watch it go. Palladium theatre, night. Miles paces back and forth in front of the entrance, then turns to look through the doors. Inside, Caplin is just coming down the stairs. He pauses at the bend in the stairs to light a cigarette. Miles walks into the building to block his way down the stairs. Miles: Mr Caplin. Caplin: What? He notices the gn Miles is holding down by his side. Caplin: God, I, I never did anything to you. He holds up his hands. Miles: This is for Elise. As he raises the gn, two MI5 agents enter the building. Agent: Corrigan! Drop your wapon! Miles looks back at them as he fires, and the sht hits the wall behind Caplin as he ducks. Miles turns to run. Agent: Mr Caplin, are you all right? Caplin: Yeah. He hurries down the stairs to head out of the building. The agents follow Miles through into the darkened theatre, where he runs between the empty seats. Agent: Corrigan! He turns and fires twice at them. They return fre from the balcony. He sht back, then turns to sht again, and cries out as a bllet strikes him in the torso. He staggers on through a door into the backstage area. Outside. Miles runs through a dark alley, stumbling and panting. He stops to look around, then sees the agents behind him, and fires at them again. Agent: Come on! As they run after him, he heads into an abandoned building. Agent: After him! Inside. Miles staggers up a staircase. Alleyway. The lead agent directs the other man round the side of the building. Agent: Go round the front! Agent 2: Righto! The lead agent heads in after Miles. Staircase. Miles leans heavily on the stair rail as he staggers up. He stops at the corner of the stairs and slides down to rest. Alleyway. Foyle and Valentine drive along the narrow alley towards the abandoned building. An agent is waiting outside the door as they park. Agent: He's inside, sir. We've got all the exits covered. Foyle gets out and heads towards him. Foyle: Caplin? Agent: He's all right, sir. Valentine follows Foyle over, looking up at the building. Foyle: And what about him? Agent: Er, he took one bllet, maybe two. Valentine: Why did you do that? He heads through into the building. Agent: He fired on us. Foyle: I understand. He follows Valentine. Inside. Foyle calls up the stairs. Foyle: Miles? Up above, Miles lurches back upright and continues up the stairs. Valentine and Foyle follow him. Upper floor. Miles staggers away from the stairs and stops against a wall. He opens his coat to look at himself. His front is coated in blood. As he moves on, he leaves a bloody handprint on the wall. Shortly after, Valentine, armed with a pstol, and Foyle follow. Ahead of them, Miles goes through a doorway into a room and leans against an abandoned piece of furniture to steady his aim as he points his gn. Valentine appears in the doorway, aiming back at him. Foyle stands just behind him. Valentine: We're not gonna hurt you. Miles drops the gn and gradually slumps to the floor. Foyle: Miles? He approaches Miles. Foyle: A doctor, I think. Valentine turns to leave as Foyle crouches by Miles and takes his hand. Foyle: We're here to help, don't worry. Someone's coming. Why are you doing this? Miles: It's... Roberts... Foyle: Roberts? Who's Roberts? He mutters something indistinct and stares over Foyle's shoulder, and mumbles the lines that he's hearing in his memory. Miles (mumbled): I don't understand why it has to be you. Sophie (voiceover): I don't know. I didn't choose this. Flashback. She and Miles walk through their back garden together. Miles: You could have said no. Sophie: I don't think so. Cut back to the present. Miles (mumbled): I hate this wr. I hate everything about it. Flashback. Sophie: I'll be all right. The wr won't go on forever. I promise you. We'll all be together again. Cut back to the present. Miles hears children's giggles as he stares into space. Flashback. Young Miles runs after Sophie in the garden, laughing. He pushes her on the swing hung from a tree. Cut back to the present. Miles stares dazedly. Flashback. Young Miles and Sophie are lying on a blanket in the garden. Their father comes out of the house. Mr Corrigan: Miles! Sophie! Tea's ready! They get up and run to him. Cut back to the present. Miles breathes raggedly. Flashback. Miles sees young Sophie walk towards him across the garden. Cut back to the present. Miles breathes out one last time, and dies. Foyle looks down. Sir Alec's office. Foyle and Valentine both stand before his desk. Sir Alec: I do not appreciate sh*t on the street. Foyle, I thought you had this under control. Valentine: If we hadn't had our people there Caplin would have been klled. Sir Alec: Did I ask you? I'm sorry he died. But surely that's an end to it. There's nothing more for you to do. Foyle: Well, a woman has lost both her children for reasons we're apparently unable to explain. If you were her, you'd appreciate some answers from us, wouldn't you? Valentine: If there was a traitor in SOE... Sir Alec: SOE is finished, disbanded. Valentine: The traitor could have moved on. Could be in intelligence. Could be in government. Sir Alec: Sir Ian Woodhead is my counterpart at MI6. Eric Caplin is a member of the GEN-75 Committee. It is inconceivable that either of them could have divided loyalties. Foyle: GEN-75? Sir Alec: It's a cabinet sub-committee reporting directly to the Prime Minister. It's responsible for the shape and direction of our country's atomic programme. So I suggest you leave Caplin alone. Have you anything else? Valentine: We've found the pilot. Sir Alec: Who? Valentine: Luc Tellier. He's one of the main suspects. Sir Alec: All right. See him. But I'm losing patience, Foyle, and there are other priorities. Damian White, for one. Have you seen those telephone intercepts? Foyle: Of course. Sir Alec: Good. I'm giving you two more days and that's it. Golf club. White and Neville Smith walk into a lounge where Kuznetsov is sitting at a table. White: Arkady Kuznetsov. How are you today? I hope you don't mind my making an observation. He sits down opposite Kuznetsov. White: But I was watching your backswing just now, and I think you need to rotate the body more into the sht. You'll get more distance. Kuznetsov nods very slightly. White: You've never got very much to say for yourself, have you? All you bloody Reds. Kuznetsov: You should visit my country. Maybe it will surprise you. White: Workers' paradise, I'm sure. He clicks his fingers, and Neville steps forward to give Kuznetsov a newspaper. White: You might find today's issue of interest. Page seven. And we're at the usual postbox? Kuznetsov nods. White: Good. He and Neville leave, while Kuznetsov opens the paper to find an envelope. Golf course. White and Neville walk along, dressed for a game of golf. Neville stops by the stump of a tree, and lifts out a chunk of wood to retrieve an envelope hidden beneath. It's full of money. He tucks it into his pocket. White: Drinks are on me, Neville. West Peckham constituency office. Glenvil Harris is working at a typewriter. There's a knock and the door opens. Glenvil: Sorry, we're closed! Then he looks up and sees that it's Sam. She approaches the desk. Glenvil: Mrs Wainwright. Sam: Please. Call me Sam. And I shall call you Glenvil. After all, we've known each other long enough. She sits down opposite him. Glenvil: Why are you here? Sam: I want to talk to you. About Adam. You don't believe he's guilty, do you? Glenvil: No, of course not. I was just writing to the Chief Whip. Sam: These are transcripts from a telephone call made from a man called Damian White. He's a big racketeer. She takes the transcript out of her pocket and gives it to Glenvil. Glenvil: Where'd you get this? Sam: It doesn't matter. Look at the name of the man he's talking to. Glenvil: Usborne. Sam: Chief Superintendent Usborne. The man you and Adam met here. It can't be a coincidence. Glenvil: Have you shown this to Adam? Sam: Usborne and White have arranged to meet, this evening. If we can photograph them, we can prove that Adam was set up. Glenvil: Er, it doesn't say where they're meeting. Sam: If we follow Usborne, we can find out. Glenvil: No. I'm sorry, M- er, Sam. This man is a racketeer. Sam: Please, Glenvil. I'll do anything to help Adam, but I can't do this on my own. Glenvil: I know, but... Sam: Look, I didn't want to say this, but this was partly your fault. Adam never wanted to go to the police. You persuaded him. Glenvil: That's true, and I'm sorry, but I don't think the answer is to go charging in on our own. She stands up. Sam: We're not going to be on our own. I know someone. Thank you. Airfield. Foyle and Valentine stand by their car, watching as a plane comes in to land. Luc Tellier is the pilot. They approach the plane as the passengers disembark. Passenger: Thank you. Woman: Goodbye, sir. Tellier (voiceover): How did you find me? He's now out of the plane and standing on the airfield with Foyle and Valentine. Tellier: Stafford? He telephoned you? Well, anyway, I can't tell you anything about her. I can't tell you anything about any of them. Flashback to Tellier in the cockpit of a military plane. Tellier (voiceover): To me, they all looked the same. At night, with the full moon, pretty girls in their French civvies. Pierce stands talking with Sophie across the airfield. Tellier (voiceover): Always two cases. One with the radio. Cut back to the present. Tellier: I never even knew her real name. Valentine: You were investigated. Tellier: After Elise died, we were all investigated. They didn't know how it had happened. They were scared. Valentine: Wasn't just Elise, you know. They thought you might have been responsible for the death of nine agents. Tellier: I was responsible. I flew them to their death. Of course, I knew nothing then, but... how do you think I feel now? Foyle: D'you know Peter Hawtrey? Tellier: I flew with him. Once. It was a mission over Northern France. Flashback to Tellier and Hawtrey in flight. Tellier (voiceover): It was very dangerous, but there was something he wanted to know. Valentine (voiceover): Do you know what? Tellier (voiceover): I was at the front. He was at the back. I knew nothing. Cut back to the present. Foyle: And this was when? Tellier: February or March, '44, I don't remember but it was just a few weeks before he resigned. Suddenly he was gone and nobody was saying anything. Even his name. It wasn't mentioned any more. Foyle: Where is he now? D'you know? Tellier: No. No, I don't know. Special Operations was unique. In this country there was nothing else like it. But, in order to exist, it had to protect itself, and what happened to people like me, they didn't care. I risked my life many times for them. Many times! And they treated me like a criminal. Later. Foyle and Valentine are walking back towards their car. Valentine: So Hawtrey flew over Northern France just before Elise died. Foyle: Yeah, bit risky for a section head, wouldn't you say? Valentine: We need to find him. What about Caplin? He was, er, Head of Operations. He must have known about the flight. Foyle: Well, since you mention it, there's something not adding up. The agents following Caplin said he, er, went into the Palladium at seven forty-five and came out just after nine. Valentine: Maybe he didn't like the show. Foyle: Well, there was no show. That's the point. Valentine laughs and stops walking. Valentine: You know, Foyle, you've put your finger on it. How very pleasant. Just for once, I know something you don't. I know exactly why he went there. They both get into the car. Police station, night. Sam and Glenvil are watching the building from the other side of the street. Glenvil: How much longer are we gonna wait? Sam: He said six o'clock. Glenvil: He could have gone out a back way. Usborne walks out of the building opposite. Glenvil: I'm just not at all sure about the wisdom of this. Sam: Is... Is that him? Glenvil: It is. Yeah. Usborne turns to walk around the corner. Sam: Come on. They head across the street after Usborne, and another figure follows them. Pierce's flat, night. A man directs Foyle towards the flat. Agent: Just through there, sir. Foyle: Thank you. Pierce is standing by her typewriter, a letter in her hand, her other arm still in the sling. Pierce: Mr Foyle. How very good to see you. Foyle: How are you? Pierce: Oh, I'm better. I should be at work. Foyle: There's really no hurry. Pierce: Well, I appreciate your concern, but I need to know what's going on. Miles Corrigan is dad. Foyle: Yes. Pierce: That saddens me very much. You were with him. Did he say anything? Foyle: Well, is this really the time to be... Pierce: Oh, please. I need to know. She sits down on the sofa and takes a seat opposite. Foyle: Who's Roberts? Pierce: Roberts? Foyle: He mentioned somebody called Roberts. Pierce: I don't know any Roberts. He didn't say anything else? Foyle: Well, it was difficult. Erm... I couldn't follow what he was trying to say. Pierce: I imagine, by now, you've spoken to Elizabeth Addis. Foyle: Yes. Pierce: Well, I'm sorry. That was wrong of me. Has she spoken to you about Plato? Foyle: Yes. Pierce: Who have you spoken to? Foyle: Well, the same people that were interviewed by the inquiry, apart from Peter Hawtrey, because nobody appears to know where he is. Pierce: Well, I never saw him after he resigned. Foyle: Do you know why he resigned? Pierce: No. For Head of Communications, he was an extremely uncommunicative man. I was away at Wanborough Manor when he left. Foyle: And you haven't spoken to him since? Pierce: No need to. He had his own reasons. Foyle: A few weeks before, he took a flight over Northern France. What was that about? Pierce is silent for a few moments. Pierce: Erm... Er, I'm gonna have a drink. I have some whisky. Will you join me? Foyle: Yes. He gets up to pour the drinks for her. Pierce: France? I know nothing about this. He hands her a glass. Pierce: And you say you, you don't know where to find him? He pours a second drink for himself. Foyle: That's right. Pierce: Then it's high time you did. Find him, and I want to know the moment you do. Woodhead (voiceover): How much does he know? He stands in his office with Addis. Addis: If you're talking about Foyle, I have no idea. I know him. Woodhead: Hilda told me. Addis: She asked me to keep an eye on him. If you want the truth, I wish I hadn't. Woodhead: And why is that? Addis: He's a decent man. I don't think he quite knows what he's got himself into. What sort of people we are. Woodhead: And yet you agreed? Addis: Hilda persuaded me it was necessary. She said he was out of control. Woodhead: He still is. He's already spoken with Caplin and Tellier. If he finds Hawtrey, that'll be the end of it. Addis: You told me this had nothing to do with Plato. Woodhead: The law of unintended consequence. Addis: Where is Hawtrey? Woodhead: Funnily enough, I've no idea. Addis: What are you afraid of, Ian? Woodhead: Afraid? Addis: You're afraid of Hilda, aren't you? She's going to find out. Woodhead: You were part of it, Elizabeth. You didn't like it then, you might not like it now, but it's the truth. Addis: I'll say good night. She leaves. Industrial area, night. Sam and Glenvil continue to follow Usborne alongside a warehouse. Sam: Come on. Warehouse. Machinery clanks and clatters in the background as Sam and Glenvil make their way through the building. A butcher, Charlie, is chopping meat from a hanging carcass. There are bottles of alcohol lined up nearby. White: Charlie. Good to see you, me old china. Charlie: Hello, Mr White. Man: Mr White. Man: Hello, Mr White. Sam and Glenvil watch from behind a set of shelves. Blakey: Hello, Mr White. White: Here, Blakey. Come here. Sam takes a photo with a miniature camera as White meets with Blakey, the spiv from the market. White: Very tasty. I'll have one of those if you've got one to spare. Blakey: Yeah, go on. He hands White a radio. White: I know just the fella. Sam takes more photos as White meets with Usborne. White: Alan. Usborne: Nice to see you, Mr White. White: I've got a gift for you. He hands Usborne the radio. Sam takes another photo. White: That little matter taken care of? Usborne: That's what I've come to see you about. White: Step into the office. Glenvil: Seen enough? Sam: No. We need to get nearer. Neville Smith steps up to the other side of the shelves that they're hiding behind. Neville: What d'you think you're doing? Later. Sam and Glenvil are sitting on the ground with Neville and White standing over them. Usborne is behind them. Neville: They were spying on us. Sam: No, we weren't. Usborne: I know him. We've met. You're Harris. I know what this is about. It's about that bloody MP. Sam: No. White: So, what are you, his wife? You took a big risk coming here, darlin'. Glenvil: Look, this is ridiculous. Just let us go. Usborne: They've seen us together. White: Neville? He and Usborne walk away, leaving Neville standing over the two of them. As he steps closer, there's a sudden small explsin from across the warehouse. There are yells and screams. As Neville moves to take cover, Sam pulls Glenvil up. A machine gn opens fre. The sh*t is James Stafford. Outside. Sam and Glenvil make out of the building, coughing in the smoke. Sam: Quick! Come on! Man (offscreen): Down! Get down! The two of them reach the corner where Stafford stands waiting for them. Stafford: You all right? Glenvil: Come on. Sam: Yes! Stafford: I thought I might have left it too late. Sam: Oh. Glenvil, this is Mr James Stafford. He used to be with the SOE. Glenvil: That was you? Stafford: Smoke bmb and blank cartridges, but it seems to have done the trick. Did you get what you want? Sam: Absolutely. Stafford: Right. Let's make a move. They head away from the building. Glenvil: Never again, Sam. Any more of this, I'm joining the Tories. She laughs. GEN-75 Committee offices, Whitehall. Caplin is standing talking with two men. Man: Yes, of course. Man: Thank you, sir. As the two men walk away, Caplin sees Valentine and Foyle approaching. Caplin: Gentlemen, I've already told you everything I know. Valentine: Mr Caplin, we'd like your help putting an end to the activities of a man called Damian White. Caplin: Well, I don't know any Damian White. Valentine hands him a photo. Foyle: You certainly know some of his associates. The photo shows Caplin meeting with Neville Smith and another man, Archie. Caplin looks up from the photograph. Caplin: Not here. Toilets. Valentine and Caplin stand talking by the sinks while Foyle paces over by the door. Valentine: This man's Neville Smith. He works for Damian White. Caplin: You're wrong. I've told you. I don't know a Damian White. Valentine: We haven't identified the young man you're being introduced to. Perhaps you'd prefer it that way. Caplin: I don't know what you're talking about. Valentine: Oh. Do I have to spell it out? Flashback to the alleyway outside the Blue Lantern at night. Valentine (voiceover): Circle Bar of the Palladium, when there's no show, is frequented by a certain kind of man wishing to meet a similar kind of man. Both men are breaking the law. Caplin approaches the entrance to the club. Valentine (voiceover): These men can also be seen on the first floor of Lyon's Corner House, Coventry Street, Chez Victor's, Wardour Street. Neville brings Archie over to Caplin. Valentine (voiceover): I've been asking around. Caplin and Archie shake hands. Valentine (voiceover): You've been seen in all of them. Caplin (voiceover): Please stop. From a nearby vantage point above, Valentine takes a photograph of the three men. Valentine (voiceover): It may help you to know that well, I know this because I've been in those places myself. Valentine takes more pictures as the trio head into the club. Valentine (voiceover): Music Box. Sphinx. Sonia's. Caplin (voiceover): You? After the three men go in, Valentine sighs a little to himself. Valentine (voiceover): I'm only surprised we've never met. Cut back to the present. Caplin's speech is very shaky as he goes on. Caplin: I... I... I met a young person. Archie. He's the... the boy in the photograph. Damian White owns the club- the club, I think. I... I think he owns Archie. Foyle: And so he was blackmailing you for what? Caplin: Information. He starts to cry and covers his face. Caplin: Documents. Foyle: I'm sorry to have to tell you, but he's been selling them to the Soviets. Caplin: I, I d- He clears his throat. Caplin: I didn't know what he was doing with them. I never... I never asked. Golf club. Foyle and Valentine drive up to the building and get out. There are already police cars parked outside. Inside. Valentine and Foyle head up the staircase. Guests mill around, uniformed police speaking with some of them. Man (offscreen): Does this man know I am? Is this really necessary? I'm confused... A police officer stands over Neville Smith up on the landing. Woman (offscreen): Is he down there? As Valentine reaches the top of the stairs, an agent hands him a stack of papers. Agent: Sir. Man (offscreen): Don't get involved, my dear. Man (offscreen): Is there a problem? Valentine shows the documents to Foyle. Man (offscreen): Excuse me. If you could tell us what's actually happening... Neville watches as Foyle and Valentine walk through the door. Man (offscreen): I'm getting my glass. White's office. He's sitting behind the desk as Valentine and Foyle walk in. A policeman and an agent stand guarding the door. Valentine: These papers contain highly classified information concerning our atomic programme. Can you explain how they came to be in your office? White: I have no idea. Valentine: No. We know all about Mr Caplin. We know about the Blue Lantern. We know about your connection with Arkady Kuznetsov. Mr Caplin's made a full confession. White: Well. That would seem to be that, then. He stands up. Valentine: Oh, I'd say so. He and Foyle turn to go. White: For what it's worth, Mr Foyle, I'm not a Bolshie. I love my country. This was all just business. Foyle: And, for what it's worth, Mr White, whatever you may call it, you're guilty of treason - which still carries a death sentence. White leans on his desk. Foyle nods to the policeman as he and Valentine leave. The policeman gets his handcuffs out and goes over to haul White out of his chair. Foyle's office. Sam stands by the desk as Foyle studies a set of photographs. Foyle: So you took these? He's holding one of White and Usborne together. Sam: Before you say anything, sir, I know it was wrong, and dangerous, but Adam's whole future was at stake. Our future. I couldn't just stand by and let it all happen. Foyle: Mm-hmm. Sam: I took great care, sir. Mr Harris and Mr Stafford were with me. Mr Stafford provided me with a camera. Will they be enough to clear Adam's name? Foyle: Well, yes. In fact, the lot of them have been arrested. Sam: What about this Chief Superintendent Usborne? Foyle: Proving corruption, er, bit difficult. Sam: What about receiving stolen property? White gave Usborne a Roberts radio. Foyle looks at the photo of White handing the radio over for a moment, and then up at Sam. Foyle: Thank you. Later. Sam and Foyle drive towards the Corrigan house and Foyle gets out. Foyle (voiceover): I'm so very sorry. He's sitting in the lounge opposite Joyce Corrigan. Joyce: To lose a child to the wr is one thing, but, er... Miles. I've no idea what possessed him. Foyle: If it's any consolation, we're doing our very best to find out. D'you remember mentioning to me the last time you saw him? Joyce: It was the morning of my birthday. Foyle: Do you mind me asking, erm, did he buy you anything? Joyce: Oh, not at all. He, he bought me that radio. She turns to point at it. Foyle: Mmm. Joyce: The, er, old one wasn't behaving terribly well. Foyle: Where would he have bought that, do you think? Joyce: I'm afraid I don't know. Foyle: Would you mind if I took a look? Joyce: No, not at all. He goes over and opens the case, turning the radio round. Foyle: And I remember you saying he was angry about something. Is that right? Joyce: Yes. I'd never seen him like that before. Foyle finds a label for an electrical and household goods shop in Framley. Framley. Sam drives Foyle up to the shop. He gets out and heads into the building. Foyle (offscreen): Peter Hawtrey? Hawtrey (offscreen): How can I help you? Later. Hawtrey turns away from Foyle, heading into the back of the shop. Hawtrey: I don't want to talk to you. Why should I talk to you? Foyle: Because I'm trying to help. Hawtrey: Are you? Foyle: And because Miles Corrigan... is dad. Hawtrey: What? Foyle: He was here, wasn't he? Am I right? Fairly recently. Hawtrey: Yes. Flashback. Miles writes out a cheque for the radio and hands it to Hawtrey. Hawtrey: Thank you. He looks at the cheque. Hawtrey: Corrigan. I knew a Corrigan once. You remind me of her. Miles: Sophie Corrigan? Is that who you mean? Hawtrey: Sophie? Miles: I'm her brother. Hawtrey (voiceover): I shouldn't have said anything. Cut back to the present. Hawtrey: I should have kept my mouth shut. But I had to tell him what they'd done to her, the bastards. It was 1944. Eight agents had died. I, I knew something had to be wrong. So I began to listen in to the actual live transmissions. I knew these agents. I'd met them. I'd helped with their training. And I knew it wasn't them. Every agent had their own fist, and that was what was missing. Their tapping was uncharacteristically clipped, or slow. To begin with, I didn't believe it myself. If I was right, it meant the entire network had been blown apart and F2 section was finished. Over. It was unthinkable, but there it was. I didn't dare tell anyone, not without proof. There was only one thing I could do. Flashback. Hawtrey walks out to the plane with Tellier. Hawtrey (voiceover): There was an agent in France I knew personally. His name was Edward Sykes and he'd helped set up the network. It was dangerous, but I got into a plane equipped with a directional microwave transceiver, and I flew over Northern France. That way, I was actually able to speak to him directly. Later. Hawtrey adjusts knobs on the transceiver as they're in flight. Hawtrey: Sykes, are you receiving me? This is Peter Hawtrey. Over. Sykes. Man (over radio): Hello, Peter. How are you? Hawtrey: I need to know about you, Ed. How are things with you? Is everything all right? Over. Man (over radio): Everything is good. It is good. Hawtrey (voiceover): We spoke for ten minutes. I knew at once it wasn't Ed. Cut back to the present. Hawtrey: He had a German accent, for Christ's sake. Foyle: And this was when? Hawtrey: 10th of March, 1944. Eight weeks before Elise was dropped into France. Flashback. A café in Paris. Sophie Corrigan walks in. A man at a table watches her pass. She stands at the counter next to another man. Sophie: Bonjour. Server: Bonjour. Sophie: Je cherche Monsieur Gerber. Server: Oui. The man abruptly stands up from the table, and he and the man at the counter grab Sophie and force her to the ground. A German officer walks in. Cut back to the present. Hawtrey: I went to see Woodhead. I knew he wouldn't like it. The bastard ran F2 like it was his own personal crusade. But he had to know the truth. Foyle: Is that what you told him? Hawtrey: Yes. He didn't believe it. He refused to believe it. He thought I was mad. I made him promise to talk it over with Hilda Pierce, and a few days later, she contacted me. He goes over and opens a drawer. Hawtrey: This is the letter. Signed by her. He hands the letter to Foyle. Hawtrey: You see? The bitch fired me! London. Sam is driving along with Pierce in the back of the car. Pierce gazes out of the window. Flashback to Sophie leaving her mother's house and walking out to meet Pierce at the car. Cut back to the present. Sam and Pierce drive along a country lane and arrive outside the shop in Framley. Sam parks and gets out. Later. Pierce sits in Hawtrey's shop, reading the letter. Pierce: How did you get this? Hawtrey: Internal mail. It was in my pigeonhole. He's standing opposite her, while Foyle stands by watching. Pierce: And what did you do? Hawtrey: What could I do? That same day, I packed my things and left. Pierce: Well, why did you never approach me directly? Why did you never tell anyone else? Hawtrey: You were away. I never got the chance. Pierce: Oh, but you told Miles Corrigan. Hawtrey: I didn't know he would try to kll you. I'm sorry. But the wr's over now. He had a right to know. Pierce: And now he's dad! He's dad because of you! Have you any idea how much harm you've caused? Outside. Pierce sniffs as she gets into the back of the car. She wipes her nose with a handkerchief as Foyle gets in next to her. Pierce: I didn't write that letter. My signature was forged. Thank you, Mr Foyle. I always knew I could rely on you. Sam backs the car away from the shop. University College. Addis is reading a file in the lounge. She looks up as Foyle enters. Addis: I was expecting you. She closes the file. Foyle: I thought I should tell you that Hilda knows everything. Addis: I'm so very sorry. Foyle: Yes, so am I. You knew from the beginning that there was no Plato? Addis: Yes. Foyle: And yet you went ahead with a three-month inquiry into a double agent that never existed? Addis: I was SOE. You didn't ask questions. You did what you were told. Foyle: Like you did when you spied on me? She stands up. Addis: You have to understand. It's not you. It's not me. It's the world that we inhabit. Foyle says nothing. MI6 offices. Woodhead walks into his office, and then closes the door behind him as he sees Pierce. She's sitting at the table with her back to the door. He walks round to sit opposite. Woodhead: Hilda? Pierce: I had to see you, Ian. The thing is, I saw Hawtrey. Woodhead: Ah. How is he? Pierce: He showed me the letter. I didn't fre him, you did. You couldn't let the truth come out, could you? Woodhead: Hawtrey is wrong. It was all supposition. Pierce: No, he was right! You knew there was a good chance that Elise would be klled the moment she stepped off that plane in France, but you still let her go. You didn't care. And when she died, the ninth agent in less than three months, you realised you had to cover your tracks. He scoffs. Pierce: So you invented Plato. Woodhead: No, Plato was not an invention. There was always a possibility- Pierce: No, there wasn't! There was never a traitor in the SOE, and you know it! You were deliberately sending those girls to their death. They were tortured. They were excuted. Why? Woodhead: You know why. You have to remember how it was. They were all against us. bmb Command, Whitehall, MI5, MI6. Even de Gaulle and the Free French. They would have closed us down in the blink of an eye. Pierce: If they'd found out. Woodhead: It wasn't just that. We wanted the same thing, you and I. We had to make it to D-Day. If they had known our circuits in France had been compromised, our role in the wr would have been over. Pierce: But you never told me! Woodhead: Because you would have stopped me! Pierce: Of course I would! I trusted you. All those years we worked together. And those girls. My girls. Did you never think? Flashback. A battered Sophie Corrigan is hauled along a passageway by two German soldiers, and out into a yard where an officer stands waiting. They drag her round to kneel on the ground with her back to him. He raises a pstol and sh*t her through the back of the head. She falls to the ground, dad, and the three Germans walk away. Cut back to the present. Woodhead and Pierce stare at each other in silence for a moment. Pierce: I can't live with it. I can't. Woodhead: No, it's all in the past, Hilda. We did what we had to but it's behind us now. Pierce: Not for me. I cannot accept what we did. She reaches into her sling and pulls out a grenade. As Woodhead stares at it, she pulls out the f*ring pin. She holds the grenade against the table for a moment, then lets it go. The office explodes. Wainwright house. Sam, dressed in black, sits in front of the bedroom dresser, studying herself in the mirror. Adam walks into the room. Adam: We're gonna be late. Sam: I hate funerals. Adam: So do I. Sam: I'm going to tell him, today. Mr Foyle. Everyone's so sad, anyway. Won't make any difference. Adam: Don't be sad. You saved my career. Again. And you're gonna be a mother. Sam: Do you think I'll be any good? Adam: I think you'll be perfect. He comes over to take her hand, and she stands up. Sam: Come. Churchyard. A small group of mourners is standing around the grave: the MI5 team, Adam, Stafford and an older couple. Elizabeth Addis watches from a short distance away. Sir Alec: Hilda Pierce was not a religious woman. She would not want me to talk about God, but she might want me to talk about duty, and courage and fortitude. She was part of a very special breed, she and the agents with whom she worked. And I will miss her all the more because I fear we will not see her like again. Addis is the first to walk away, and then the others disperse from around the grave. Sam catches up to Foyle, Adam hanging back to follow the two of them at a distance. Sam: Sir. Foyle: Yes? Sam: Erm... Foyle: Problem? Sam: No, no. I just wanted to tell you something. Foyle: What's that? Sam: I hate letting you down, but I'm gonna have to hand in my notice. The, the fact is, well, you could say I'm PWP. Foyle: Pregnant without permission? She laughs a little. Sam: 'Fraid so. Foyle: Well, you choose your moments. Sam: I wanted to get it over with. Foyle: Good thinking. Sam: So it means I'm going to be rather busy for a while. Foyle: Well, I do understand. Sam: I don't like to leave you on your own. Foyle: Well, I might be okay. I don't know about the rest of the country, but... She laughs, then turns to face him as she walks. Sam: I'd really like it if, if you would be the godfather. He stops walking and turns to face her. Foyle: Honoured. Sam: Thank you. Foyle: Pleasure. She steps up to give him a kiss on the cheek, then steps away. Foyle turns to look at Adam, who tips his hat. Foyle nods for Sam to go and join him. She goes back to Adam and the two of them kiss. Foyle walks through a passageway lined with tombstones. As he emerges, he turns and sees Addis watching him from behind a fence a short way away. They look at each other for a moment. Then Foyle turns away and walks on.	{"type": "series", "show": "Foyle's War", "episode": "09x03 - Elise"}	foreverdreaming
MONDAY... RADIO ON AIR Sammy on radio: Good morning, West Texas! Slammin' Sammy Mead comin' at you with Panther Football radio! 470 AM on your dial. It's Monday morning, and we all know what that means. Only four days till Friday night. The night that our Dillon Panthers bring the hammer down on the Westerby Mustangs. Who wants to talk Panther football, I'm all ears. Woman: Hey, Sammy, this is Susan from South Bain. This new coach, uh, Coach Taylor, right? Sammy: Eric Taylor, that's right. Woman: Well, he... he's got himself a lot of pressure right now, and there's lots of expectations on him, and what the heck is going on there? You got a news crew following him around every step of the preseason. Who does he think he is? Mack Brown? He's no Mack Brown, I'll tell you right now. Sammy: Well, now, Susan, I don't think anybody is, but let me tell you something. He has stepped into the number one team in Texas. Woman: That's right. Sammy: And he does have a news crew followin' him. I agree with you, and that's a lot of added pressure, but it's lettin' him know how important this football is to us here in Texas. Woman: Well, I want to add my voice to that... to that... MATT SARACEN'S HOUSE - Living room Matt: Okay, Grandma, I made you two tuna fish sandwiches, and I put your medicine in the green Gatorade, okay? Grandma: Green Gatorade, but I only want one sandwich. Matt: Well, then just eat one. Grandma: But you made two, and I just want one. Matt: No, no, no, no, I-I'll eat the other one when I get home from practice, okay? Grandma: You'll be hungry. After that good ol' practice. Matt: Yeah. Grandma: You... I adore. EXT. MATT SARACEN'S HOUSE - Landry's car Landry: Y'know, I think I'm gonna get me one of those signs that say Landry Clarke: Utterly Useless. All State jerk team. Matt: Yeah, I'd probably be on that team too. We can hear radio on air... Sammy: Jason Street has a 72% pass completion rate. Not only is that number one in the state of Texas, that is number one nationally. Landry: Are you even gonna play at all? Matt: Nope. Landry: Seriously, this is some kind of big misdirected "Daddy, love me" thing, ain't it? I can't keep driving you to this practice in humiliation, it's not good for either one of us. Matt: You're an insomniac. You're up anyway. I'm doing you a favor. You should be thanking me. Landry: Now that was mean, Matt. That wasn't nice. TIM RIGGINS' HOUSE - Living room Billy: Gotta get up, little brother. Probably 49 players right now. Up and at 'em. Right now, this minute. 49 players on the move. Tim, they'll kick you off the team. Tim: Yup. You're a brother, don't forget. Not a mother. Billy: You ain't that good. Tim: Twice the player you ever was, man. Billy: This is life, this isn't Maxim magazine. Tyra: What's that supposed to mean? Billy: Waste of time. Tim: Right. LYLA GARRITY'S HOUSE - Kitchen Pam: And no going out with Jason Street this evening. We're having a family dinner tonight. That means the entire family, dinner together. Lyla: Rally rehearsal tonight. She's gonna be rehearsing how far she can get how far she can get her tongue into Jason Street's mouth. Buddy: Nip it. Lyla: I love you, Daddy. Buddy: Uh, love you too, baby. FOOTBALL FIELD Journalist: How you doin', Coach? Tommy Hayskins, NBC Sports. Eric: Tommy, welcome. Journalist: How's it feel to be head coach after, what, how many years? Eric: Six years, it is. Got yourself a heck of a quarterback. He's a good boy. Very proud of him. Journalist: Now, you two have been at this together for some time, right? Jason: Yes, sir, he was my coach all through Pee Wee, and Coach Taylor's been QB coaching me since, uh, freshman and JV years, so it's been awhile. Journalist: So, Coach, is it a coincidence you finally get the head coaching job the final season of Jason's high school career? Eric: It is, it's a very fortunate coincidence. You gotta feel blessed to spend your first year with a young man who's got the talent and the moral strength this young man right here has. Player: Hut! Man: We'd like to get you all on the field next Saturday up in South Bend. There are really no words to describle the experience... Jason's dad: Sounds terrific. Man: We're ready to get this thing done. Jason's dad: Think we are too. Jason's mum: How good is he? Man: Mrs. Street, I've been scouting quarterbacks for Notre Dame for 27 years. Your son may be the best I have ever seen. Eric: We expect a lot of him, and, uh, he produces. And, uh, we're very proud of him. Smash: We go in undefeated, shattering records. Taking these high expectations to unimaginable new highs. State champions. Journalist: What's after high school, Brian? Smash: Me and Mack Brown gonna get our win on in Pasadena. Get my national championship on, get my Heisman on. Journalist: It's known that a uple years ago, your father passed away. And he's not gonna be able- Smash: No, look, I don't talk about that, all right? You wanna ask me football questions, I'll answer your football questions. Journalist: Let's shift gears a minute. There's been talk of racism around this squad. Have you experienced anything like that? Smash: I don't let that fade me. I just keep my blinders on, and keep moving. I got things to do. Tim: That's not racism, man. I just don't like him. He can be from Saudi Arabia, or Sweden, or Czech. That dude could be Santa Claus, and I still won't like him. Name's Tim Riggins, I play, uh, fullback. Journalist: It's known that you're one of the more aggressive players. What do you find appealing about that? Tim: I just like to hurt people. Just pull'em down. Jason: This is a very good football team, and we all know each other extremely well, so that's how we play. Coach: Saracen, go take a look at that trash can for a yellow play sheet, I think I accidentally threw it out. Player: Hut! Coach: Move, move, move, move, move! That's the ball, right there, that we want, Steve. Journalist: Tim, I don't mean to be inappropriate, but I do smell alcohol on your breath. Have you been drinking? Tim: No. Journalist: Not at all? Tim: No. Journalist: Okay. Coach: Pick it up, pick it up! You wanna play football today? What the hell is going on with you right now? Eric: Are we not clear that in five days a group of men are gonna be coming down here to try and destroy you? Is that not- is that not clear? ...32... Get up, Riggins. These same men are gonna be coming down here. They're gonna use everything they have to hurt you... 84... I'm tired of seein' that out here on this field! ...82... get up, Riggins. Get up! Journalist: You feel a ttle extra responsibilit. Eric: Yeah, there's a little bit of extra responsibility. Of course, that comes with the territory. It's to be expected. You wanna do that, you take it somewhere else! Journalist: How good is this team? Jason: We're a very good team. Smash: Man, this team's the best team. They got me. Eric: Get up, Riggins. They're gonna attempt to do this in front of your mother, in front of your fathers, in front of your brothers, in front of your sisters...8... Come on, son, get up. Smash: You're making us look weak! Tim: I hate that guy. Smash: One person fumbles the ball, we all fumble the ball! Tim: Hate him. Smash: One person shows up half drunk, we all show up half drunk! Eric: 20. Smash: This is business, I keep it football. We ain't got time for your games, Rig. Leave all other stuff at home. We got a game to win. Eric: Get up, son. Get up! ******** Generic ****** DILLON RESTAURANT Jason: This is where pretty much everybody eats. Uh, I come here and get the Aztec burger, every day, leading up to a game. Journalist: Oh, yeah, is that an endorsement? Jason: Endorsement, sir? Journalist: Well, that could be your first professional endorsement, the Aztec burger. Lyla: No, he doesn't have any endorsements. Jason: No, no endorsements. No way. Smash: I got some endorsements! Journalist: What you got? Smash: Nike, Adidas. Journalist: Nike and Adidas? Smash: Yeah. Journalist: Isn't that a conflict of interest? Smash: Not the way the Smash does it, baby. I got so much skills, there's room for everybody. Reebok too-I'ma do Big Macs and Whoppers. Coke and Pepsi. Look, I'ma bring the whole world together, baby. Then I'ma bust up Paris Hilton's marriage. Journalist: Is that right? Smash: The Smash gonna be running hotel chains. Landry: So, you-you wanna go for it? Matt: No, that's the coach's daughter. Landry: Yeah, I know-I know it's the coach's daughter, but... is that some kind of rule? I mean, we can't talk to the coach's daughter? I wasn't aware of that rule. Come on, let's go. Julie: Yes? Landry: I'm in your English class. Julie: Okay. Landry: So is he. Julie: Yeah. Landry: We were just, ah, wonderin' if you wanna maybe have some lunch. You know, talk some Moby Dick. Julie: You're on the football team, right? Landry: I, actually, no, I don't play. He's technically, barely, on the team. He never plays. Matt: I hold extra points sometimes. Landry: Yeah, he held two last year, not-not well, but he's... he's kinda the backup extra. Matt: I'm the backup quarterback. But Street plays, I-I don't play much. Julie: But you're still on the team. And I don't eat with football players. Landry: You know, I'm not- I'm not a football player. Julie: And I don't eat with you either. Landry: No problem. Journalist: How do you see him handling all these enormous expectations? Lyla: You know, Sports Illustrated has this as the number one high school football team in Texas. Oh, I know, that's what I've been saying. Tyra: Oh, really? Lyla: I don't know, he-he just handles it really well. Tyra: How interesting. Lyla: On the field he's so competitive, but after, when we're alone, he's not like that. Tyra: That is so interesting, really. I'd be hard-pressed to remember anything in my entire life that's ever been so damn interesting. Whore. Smash? Smash: Hey. What's up? Tyra: Can I get a bite of your burger? Smash: Hey, baby, you can get a bite of anything you want to. COACH TAYLOR'S OFFICE Tammy: Hey. Eric: Hey babe. Tammy: How they lookin'? Eric: They're fast, and they run a lot of counters. Tammy: So I heard a ugly rumor. Eric: Really? Tammy: Had to do with you and me. And a certain car dealership opening tomorrow night. Eric: Oh, sht. Tammy: Did you forget to tell me? Eric: I think that I did forget to tell you. Tammy: Alaska, I'm just saying. Eric: I know. Tammy: A much more relaxed lifestyle. Eric: It's under advisement. EXT. MATT SARACEN'S HOUSE Landry: I'm startin' to look at this whole damn town like a big ol' out-of-tune guitar. You know what I mean? I mean, smashed up like- like some-like some demonic crossword puzzle. Y'know, 42 across, 11 letters. Could that be? Yes, it is! It's Satan's horns. Is that a word? 'Cause-'cause I'm seein' it owin' out of Street's mom whenever she gets within 20 feet of a Notre Dame recruiter. Matt: Stop. Landry: 33 down, eight letters, state of bliss. Starts with a S. Matt: Dude, you're just being random. Landry: Try SERENITY, a quality that's in dire shortness of supply out here. But you know what? It doesn't even matter. I'm thinking about starting a Christian speed metal band. You in? Grandma: Matthew! You need to get a new friend. Landry: Ain't funny. EXT. LYLA GARRUTY'S HOUSE Lyla: Mr. Street, is it true that you can throw a 400-yard touchdown pass to three different receivers at the same time? Jason: This is true. Lyla: Then you must kiss me. Is it true that you have superhuman powers and can demolish building and hurl fireballs? Jason: This is true. Lyla: Then you must kiss me. Is it true, Mr. Street... Jason: That I love Lyla Garrity? Lyla: Yes, is that true, Mr. Street? That you love Lyla Garrity? Jason: More than anything in the world. Lyla: More than football? Jason: More than almost anything in the world. TAYLOR'S HOUSE - Living room Tammy: Alright, listen to this, y'all. Large, bright, family home nestled on a quiet cul-de-sac, three large bedrooms, a pool, and his and her closets. His and her closets. Eric: Relent. Tammy: I'm just sayin'. Eric: I know, I know what you're saying. Tammy: Darling, his and her closets. Julie: Moby Dick is actually the perfect metaphor for this town. The cold black sea representing the season in all its uncertainties. Dad. Eric: What? Julie: The magical white whale is the Holy Grail. State championship. Eric: Yeah. Julie: The boat, I mean, the whalers are the team, right? The players and the coaches. Smash Williams is Queequeg, the hulking, African Zulu, harpoon-hurling whale kller? Eric: Who's that make me? Coach Ahab? Julie: Absolutely... coach, captain, hunter, hunted. Tammy: Mm-hmm, his and her closets. Julie: Driven to catch what may be uncatchable. Eric: I'm not so sure you're mine. I'm gonna have to order up a DNA test on you. Tammy: Did you hear me? Eric: If we can see over this front line, and not bite at those counters, we may just capture that fish. Tammy: His and hers closets, baby. Whoo-ooh! TUESDAY... RADIO ON AIR Sammy: Leonard, welcome, what's on your mind? I'm getting tired of listening to people up here worrying about the coach. These people got nothing better to do but worry about that? We got boys who can play football. EXT. PANTHER'S HOME Eric: Well, how's Westerby looking? You get down there, Coach? Man: Yeah, I just got back. Eric: Yeah, what do you know? Man: I know they run some of the fastest son of a bitch counters that I've seen in a long time. Now, the front line is big. Not particularly heavy, but tall. It's gonna make it hard to follow that ball. Now, you're gonna need to add some height on your defense. Maybe play Dillard and Oliver on those defensive ends. That way, it'll give you some height. You can see down on them counts. Eric: Yeah, I like that. Man: Hell with what you like. You have got to win this footbalgame. Now, Coach, I'm dad serious. Now, you got no excuses, and that's a lonely place to be startin'. With expectations like this, the only place you can go is down. That's the problem with being his good. Eric: Yeah, I know. Man: Now, you got to drill 'em on counters. Eric: I will. Thanks, Coach. Man: How's the family? Eric: Everybody's feelin' fine. Man: Well, enjoy. 'Cause it ain't gonna last. Eric: Coach, it ain't that serious, it's only football. Man: It's only football. Eric: It's only football. Man: It's only football. Eric: All right, now. AUTOMOBILE GARRITY'S - Panther's Party Buddy: Uh, we have a few introductions that we need to make at this time, starting with our mayor, Lucy Rodell. Mayor Rodell: Thank you. Thank you, and welcome, everybody, to the openin' of this beautiful automobile dealership owned and operated by Buddy Garrity. Congratulations, Buddy. And of course, we wanna extend a special welcome to Coach Taylor and his coaching staff. Gentlemen, can you join me up here? Come on up here, fellows. Come on up, we want you up here on the stage with us. This is your team, ladies and gentlemen. Eric: I'm gonna make this quick. As a lot of you know, my wife does most of the talking around the house. I'm gonna get in a lot of trouble for that too. Uh, thank you, Mayor. Uh, I wanna second what Buddy said. I wanna thank you, everyone, for coming out tonight. And I just want to say what a privilege it is for each and every one of us standing up here to be part of the mighty Dillon football tradition. We all-and I speak for each and every coach, player, and, uh, trainer up here. We all feel honored. And we feel fully prepared to represent this beloved community this Friday night, and every Friday night. Until we bring home that state championship. Julie: Let's see where that love is if he loses a game. Tammy: I know. Smash: Panthers gonna play extreme, Westerby gonna cry and scream, Panthers gonna get diabolical. Hold up, hold up, hold up. Like Tom Cruise gets scientological. Panthers gonna whoop that ass. As long as Street gets Smash the pass. C'mon, give it up, give it up! Put the rings in the air! Put those rings in the air! Make some noise. Get up on your feet! Woman: Hey, hi! Tammy: Hey! How are you? Woman: Oh, how you? Tammy: I'm great, how are y'all doing? Woman: Oh, fantastic. Tammy: Good. Woman: Now, Tami, how come you never join us for book club? Tammy: Oh, well, you know, with the beginning of the season... Woman: Oh, come on, Tami. Wednesday night's our next meeting. A little wine, a little gossip, it'll be good for you. Tammy: That would be great. Woman: Fun. Tammy: That would be fun. Woman: We would love to have you. Tammy: Oh, thank y'all... Woman: Wednesday night! Tammy: Okay. Wednesday. Woman: We can't wait. Tammy: All right. Woman: Oh, aren't you the cutest thing I've ever seen? Tammy: She is, oh, she is. Woman: All right, y'all. Okay, we'll see ya! Tammy: Bye. Thank you so much, bye. Julie: That's gonna be so awful. Tammy: Stop it. Eric: Excuse me. How about a little space, huh? Pete: Coach. Coach, let me see ya. How you doing? Eric: Hey, Pete, how you doing? Pete: Well, great to see you. Eric: Hey, Tom, how are you? Pete: Hey, good luck tomorrow night. Uh, you know, we've been watching your offense for five years. So it's your time now for the big money, right? You're the boss. Y'know, your name goes next to that WRL after this one. It's not like the last five years, is it? Mayor Rodell: If he lets you call anything, throw the ball, son. Jason: Yes, ma'am. Mayor Rodell: Air it out. Jason: Yes, ma'am. Mayor Rodell: You know you got the skills, you know it right there. Jason: Thank you, I... Mayor Rodell: You got what it takes. Jason: Thank you. Mayor Rodell: Let her fly. Jason: Yes, ma'am. Mayor Rodell: You're a nice boy. Jason: Why, thank you. Mayor Rodell: And you got great manners. Jason: Yes, ma'am. Mayor Rodell: Knock it off. You can't go into the game tomorrow night like that. Tom: The second most important thing after defense is the kicking game, and then they can get their offense in there. Pete: We're hoping we're gonna throw the ball a little bit more this year. Mayor Rodell: Carpet bmb 'em, you understand? Jason: Yes. Mayor Rodell: Chew 'em up, spit 'em out. Jason: Yes, ma'am. Mayor Rodell: So we understand each other. Jason: Yes, ma'am. Mayor Rodell: Excellent, good, good. Jason: You like early Black Sabbath? Mayor Rodell: Black... Black Sabbath? Jason: It'll make you mean. Pete (To Eric): You know, the other thing some people think is you gotta have a great quarterback to win a championship. That's obviously not true. Woman (To Tim): I am so confused about what a blitz is. It sounds a little sexual. Pete: We've been by there a couple times, and didn't see any cars, and lights were off, and it concerned us some. Eric: But you have been working, you've been working. Woman (To Tim): Have you ever blitzed an older woman? You could, you know. Tyra: Hi, Jason. Jason: Tyra. Tyra: So where's Lyla? Jason: She's meetin' me here tonight. Tyra: Oh, that's too bad. Jason: Why's that? Tyra: Y'know, it's gotta get a litt old, Jason. Like, drinking milk all day, every day. You oughta try a milkshake every once in awhile. Pete (To Eric): What are you gonna do tonight? What do you do the night before the game? You've never been a head coach the night before the game. You don't even know what you're gonna do, do you? Photograph: Jason, do you mind? Smile for us. Oh, is that your new girlfriend? Jason: No, no, sir. No. Excuse me. Lyla! Lyla, come here, come here. Look, I'm-I'm sorry. Shouldn't have-I don't even know how it happened. She snuck up on me, cameras started flashing, I started smiling, I'm sorry. It shouldn't have happened. Smash: What's your favorite football team? Man: Oh, you know, USC. Smash: Oh, yeah? Tyra: Hey, Smash. Smash: Hey. Man: I gotta roll. Yeah. Smash: How you doin' there, angel eyes? Tyra: Bored as hell. I hate these things. Smash: Yeah? Pete (To Eric): I mean, you got that, kinda that deer in the headlights look that I'm a little worried about you steppin' up to the plate here. Jason: Hillary, I did not have sexual relations with that girl. Tyra: So what are you doing? Smash: Y'know, just chillin' on top of the world. Picking diamonds off the clouds, baby. I'd love to pick you one. Tyra: Oh, is that right? Smash: Yeah. Funny. Tim: It's time to go home. Tyra: No, I'm having a conversation. Smash: It's cool, man. Tim: Do yourself a favor, Williams. Shut your face while I talk to my girl here. Smash: Say that again. Tyra: Guys, stop. Smash: C'mon, Rig. Tim: No. Smash: No, Rig, bring that. Say that again. Tim: Been meaning to ask you something. You're all about God, but at the same time, you got the bling right there. Tyra: Guys, seriously! Tim: You're some mouth, aren't you? Pete: We don't want you to go out there and be soft and be scared. Eric: Oh, we're not gonna be soft. Pete: We want you to be aggressive now. Are you going to be able to answer the bell and bring championships back to this town? We wanna win championships. WEDNESDAY... FOOTBALL PRACTISE Jason: Now, you guys really want to focus on learning these plays 'cause these are the exact same plays that we run, and if you learn it right here like we all did, you'll have a pretty solid understanding of what's gonna be expected of you once you get to varsity. All right? All: Yes, sir! Little boy: Mr. Street? Jason: Yes, son? Little boy 1: Are you gonna play professional football? Jason: I'm thinkin' about it. Little boy 1: I think you should. I think you should play for the Cowboys. And that you should be better than Roger Staubach, and better than Troy Aikman. Jason: I'm gonna think about it, but I'm gonna go through school first, and we'll see what happens, son. Little boy 2: I think you can be better than Peyton Manning. Jason: Oh, I appreciate that. Let's pray. Little boy 3: Sr. Street, do you think God loves football? Jason: I think that everybody loves football. Little boy 3: Me too. All: Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. HOUSE FOR SALE Eric: It sure is nice. Woman: Mm-hmm, and you saw the room in the bathroom. I am tellin' you, room in the bathroom is what has saved more marriages than Oprah and Dr. Phil combined. It is so peaceful, isn't it? Eric: It is peaceful. Woman: So why don't you have your wife come down and take a look? Eric: Well, I'll tell you, I don't think I have to do that. I think she's gonna like this just fine. Woman: Oh, I'm sure she will. So you gonna make an offer? Hmm? Eric: I'll tell you what... Let's see how we play Friday night, and then we'll be getting back to you. Woman: You're gonna kll 'em, Coach. Eric: I hope so. Woman: Bring 'em hell. RADIO ON AIR Man: I'm just a little concerned about Coach Taylor. He's not been a head coach before. He's not experienced. Uh, you know, he's gonna rely on Street too much. The thing is, is that, he just can't keep on throwing all the time. I mean, this ain't the West Coast, you know? This is Texas football. Sammy: I understand. He's got a running back like Smash Williams. I don't think he's plannin'... CAMP fre Tim: Here's how I figure it's gonna work. Correct me if I miss something here, but... I'm cool just hanging out right here, man. You go do your, what? Maybe ten years in the NFL. Say at five mil a year. You give me 1% of every paycheck. Mmm. When it's all said and done, you and me are gonna own ourselves a big old hunting ranch. I'll keep it stocked with some ladies. Lyla: What? Hello? Jason: There's only one little problem, Rigs. I don't want you living on my land. Tim: Yeah, you do. I'm the caretaker, Streeter. Whether you like it or not. Here's to God... And football... And ten years from now, Street. Good friends living large in Texas. Texas forever, Street. Jason: Texas forever. Tim: Yo, everybody, listen up! Let's do it. Let's touch God this time, boys. Let's touch God. FRIDAY... RADIO ON AIR Sammy: The radio 470 AM, and it is on. It is game day, people! And I have never felt this kind of electricity. Not in years. This town of Dillon, Texas is on fre, and I mean really on fre. FOOTBALL GAME Speakers: The Panthers should win this game, there's no question about it. With all the buildup and the hype of this season, and the talent they have on this team... It's that great offensive backfield for Dillon that has everybody's eye. Jason Street, the quarterback, and Smash Williams, the tailback, there's nobody better, probably. Finally got here after a long summer of practice. Lot of expectations on this Dillon Panther ball club. Panthers are the team to bat. Feed the dogs, spit the fre, lock up your daughters. Turn on the radio, sit down, and shut up 'cause it is game time, people! CLOAKROOMS Eric: Gentlemen... There's been a lot of talk about expectation lately. Expectation of what we should be able to do to win. People are expecting. People are expecting quite a bit. I see us winning out there tonight. I have no trouble seeing that. That is not what I'm expecting. I expect you boys to go out there and not take this team lightly because I promise you, they're gonna come at you with everything they've got. I expect you boys to execute. Players: Yes, sir. Eric: I expect you boys to play football. Players: Yes, sir. Eric: Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. Players: Can't lose! Eric: You deserve this, do you understand? Jason: Yes, sir. Eric: You've earned this, the right to win. You put that in your head. Jason: You too, Coach. Expect to win. You've earned that. FOOTBALL GAME Speaker: We are underway. Out on the left side, gets away from one man, breaks another tackle, and gets about a 25-yard gain out to the 40-yard line. It's a great way to start the season. Jason: We got strong left eye, wide flip, 24 counter on one. On one, ready? Players: Huh! Speaker: Let's see what this young superstar's got for us. First chance to see the 6'2", 190-pound quarterback Street,along with Smash Williams, Tim Riggins in the backfield. The hand-off to Williams, he tries that right side.Gets away! Oh, this kid can move! First down, Panthers! By Smash Williams. He bounces it outside,and breaks a tackle. Coach: We got the cornerback. Eric: I want Barracuda 550. Barracuda 550. Speaker: And the hand-off this time to big Tim Riggins, the fullback. Oh, Tim gets ten yards before getting pulled down. You gotta love Tim Riggins when he runs. Jason: It's going back to Manny, 27 stretch, on one. On one, ready? Players: Huh! Speaker: Panthers on a roll, just like we thought they'd be. First and ten at the 35. Street, drops straight back to pass, has Eugene Williams open over the middle. He's there with a touchdown! Touchdown, the first touchdown of the season! So it's Westerby's turn to respond now, after the easy touchdown drive for Dillon. Coy Awnee brings back the kickoff for Westerby, and up the left side, the near side, he gets away, and gets a beautiful run back to the Dillon 40-yard line. And the first down's called, a little bit of misdirection, as they always do, and Campbell bounces it out. And gets away! He's gonna go all the way into the end zone! Westerby scores on its first play from scrimmaging. Wow, we heard about these counters, and man are they fast. What a great misdirection. And it fooled the Panthers. We're already into the second quarter. Westerby's Chaps giving us all we can handle right now. Big block. Tim Riggins. Jason Street brings him out. Takes the step. Drops straight back to pass. Looks left. Finds Tony Golia. He's there. He's got to catch, dives to the cone. Did he get in? Yes, touchdown, Dillon! Westerby Coach: Don't you fall for that! Speaker: That's the sign of a great leader and that's who Jason Street is. Westerby with the first down and ten at the 30-yard line, though. Westerby Coach That's it! Speaker: And Ferguson, one-on-one coverage, is open over the middle. He's got it! Touchdown, Westerby. I'll tell you, Westerby is showing up a lot stronger than anyone thought they would. Coach Taylor has got to do something to get his defense into this game. HALF TIME - Cloakrooms Coach 1: You need to get your head out of your butt and start playing up to your own district potential. 'Cause you ain't doing it now! He's having to help you. Haven't we got one guy coming, he's having to help you?! Coach 2: What are you seeing out there, Street? Jason: Seeing a lot of Texas defense, coach. Coach 2: Texas? Jason: Yes, sir. Our corners are jamming. They're staying out there in the flats. It seems like I'm getting a lot of pressure off the outsides. Coming off the ends like crazy. I can't even see 'em. The safeties are staying pretty deep, so we got a lot of short stuff. More slants and crosses, I think. Coach 2: Play it close to over the top? Jason: We can fade if I can get some time. But they gotta bat that jam off of the line. Plus, I'm getting blitzed like crazy off the weak side. I ain't even see it coming. Coach 1: You are not that good! Coach 2: See what's going on, now. We need some more time. Jason: Coach, they are running the box down on us. Coach 1: We have not been communicating. We're gonna pick it up now. Hey, you guys wanna communicate now?! Players: Yes, sir! Coach 1: We're going into a fistfight! FOOTBALL GAME Speaker: Smash gets the call, tries to go outside. There's nothing there, and he gets thrown for a five-yard loss. Eric: That didn't work. Speaker: They're totally out of sorts here in the second half. Jason: Fellas, this is our field day. Do not push us around! Speaker: Street tries to find Horn over the middle. He gets... And even the passing game's out of sync, K.C. Nothing is working right now. It is really a dangerous time. Westerby blew out that offensive line that time. Eric: 54 Bandit. Jesus, they're fast! Jason: Run your routes. Have faith in your routes. You will catch the ball. It will be there every time, and we will take this down the field. Speaker: Nobody expected Westerby to be giving us this kinda trouble. The Panthers are looking completely outta sync! Westerby right now clearly with the momentum. Eric: Ed, that was horse crud! Arbiter: Watch yourself, Coach. Speaker: You let a team like Westerby stick around long enough, they think they could bat ya. And the give is to Campbell on the counter yet again. And he gets a long way all the way down towards the goal line. He is down at the one yard line. They just seem to have no answer for these counters. Triple stack formation. Fakes once, fakes twice. Gives to Cameron over the top-dives... And he's in the end zone! Touchdown Westerby! The Westerby Chaps lead with six minutes to go. And Coach Taylor and his boys are in deep trouble with time running out. The Panthers cannot believe what's going on. Eric Taylor's gotta do something to figure this thing out. Dillon trying to rally from down ten. A flip pass to Williams. That's another first down. Move the ball! Move the ball! We're gonna come back. Jason: Look at me! Are you ready to play this game? We got strong left, 89 gn, 453 heat on one, on one. Ready, break! Speaker: Third and five on the Panther 38. Eric: Come on now, offense. Let's go! Speaker: Well, they gotta get something going. Down by ten. They need two possessions, and score in those two possessions to win the ballgame. Third and five. And Street looks like he's in command like we've seen him look before. This is a critical play for the Panthers. Player: Hut! Speaker: Street takes the snap. Drops back to pass. Has protection. Throws a wobble. Oh, it's picked off by Chandler. Interception. He's got a good wall in front of him. Down on the left side. Street the only one that might be able to get to him. Fumble on the play. A fumble. The ball is loose! Get the ball! That's a gigantic ht on Street. He's down on the ground. He is down. Eric: Who is that, Street? Coach: That's Street. Eric: Trainer! Lyla: What happened? Speaker: And he's not moving. That was a heckuva ht! When Street met Chandler. And he was the only one that could've stopped him from scoring what would've been a game ending touchdown basically for Westerby. Jason's mom: He's not getting up. Speaker: It's very quiet here in this stadium. Arbiter: Doctor. Jason's mom He's not getting up. Speaker: You know, this is obviously the worst nightmare for a coach and especially for a parent. Well, you know, his entire family of course in the crowd tonight. Even some folks from his family from out of state making the trip. Lyla: Why isn't he getting up? Doctor: Can you hear me? Jason: Yes. Doctor: Okay, I'm gonna check your eyes-Hold on. Lyla: Jason! Jason, get up! Please. Doctor: I think it's a spinal injury. I'm not sure yet. But he has been moving... Can you squeeze my hands for me, buddy? Squeezing! Good, good, good. Can you move your feet for me? Jason: Yes. Doctor: Good, good, good. All right. Should we try to get him on the backboard real quick? Let's keep him steady, guys. Let's keep him steady. Speaker: It looks likthey're gonna have to take him off. In fact, they've got him strapped to the headboard now and they're lifting him up, and they'll put him in the ambulance shortly. Doctor: Just move him sideways slowly. Perfect. You're doing real good there. Real good. Jason: Thank you. Doctor: Okay, we're going up. One, two, three. Okay, we're going up. Speaker: You know, the amazing thing is we got the number one football player in America carted off on a stretcher. But this game has to go on. It has to be finished. And the third string quarterback... no one's seen this guy play... is Matt Saracen. Eric: Saracen ! Speakers: I don't know if he's taken a snap in practice. Well, you can see the look on his face right now. I don't think he ever expected to play in this one. You know, here he is in maybe the biggest game of his life. Yeah, this young man's gonna have to get down to some serious business, because his team needs it. And he's gonna have to communicate with this team and get them back in the game. Arbiter: Coach, I need your captains, please. Eric: Captains! Saracen. Quarterback's captain. Arbiter: Okay, guys. Everybody all right? We have just under three minutes to go. I want you to play hard. I want you to play fair. And I want you to go back and tell your players to keep your heads up. ht only what you see. Y'all understand? I want you to take that back and tell your guys, all right? Let's finish this thing up with style. Best of luck, guys. Speaker: You gotta be calm in this situation. Don't turn the ball over. Don't do something foolish. Matt: All right, we're going pro right 90. Smash: No, we're going pro left 90. Pro left 90. You know the play, right? Matt: Yeah, okay. We're going pro-pro left 90. 25 blast on one. Ready? Players: Break! Speaker: Matt Saracen, the hm, comes out and leads his team to the line of scrimmage to take his first meaningful snap probably in his life. And everybody's looking at young Matt Saracen, who calls the wrong play and gets drilled. He went the wrong way, and he paid the price. Well, you gotta try and get a first down. Landry: Come on, Matt. You can do it! Speaker: Okay, here's Saracen dropping back to pass. And he throws the ball... Oh, man. This kid is shook up. He has ht his own man right in the back of the helmet. That's not the way to instill confidence in your teammates. Eric: Saracen, get over here! Speaker: Panther time-out. Eric: You okay? Breathe. Slow down. I want you to try to read the coverage. You remember how to read the coverage? Matt: Not so well, sir. Eric: Look at me. What you do is you go out there and you look before you throw the ball. You look and see where the defense is and you see where our guys are. You with me? Matt: Yes, sir. Eric: Then you throw the ball to our guys. You got that? Matt: Yes, sir. Eric: Do your best. Go on. Speaker: Coach Taylor has gotta be just thinking about getting out of this game. Matt: We're going pro right, 25 shovel. Smash, this is you. Smash: I got this. Matt: All right, ready? On one. Players: Break! Speaker: Big ol' third down play now for the Panthers. Let's see if Saracen can at least get the snap this time. He's got to do something with this play. Saracen back to pass. A shovel pass to Williams. Goes off the left side. Has some room. Up the field he goes. Hey, that's a pretty good toss. Awesome. Great job. And they needed that play, K.C. All of a sudden, some life on the Panther sideline and in the stands too. Matt: Strong right eye, 28 tango. Ready? On one. Players: Break! Speaker: You can feel the energy picking up a little bit now. Maybe something's starting to happen. Smash: I'm going in. It's all you. Speaker: Saracen at the line of scrimmage. Matt: Hut! Speaker: Takes the snap. Pitches to Smash. He's got some room. He's gonna go all the way. Touchdown! Hey, okay. Just like that. The Panthers are right back in the game. We did it! Now it's all about the clock. They've got less than a minute to go. Coach Taylor's gotta be thinking about an onside kick. Gotta get the good hands,people out there who line up and get that ball. And here's the kick. It is onside. A mad scramble! Westerby misses it! The ball is still loose. A scramble for the ball. Who's got it? It looks like could the Panther ball. Panthers have it! Here we go! All right! Timmy Riggins comes up with the football. Eric: Go right 90, 7-5 high. We got a chance to win this game. Speaker: What a story. Young Matt Saracen bringing his team back into the ballgame. He drops back to pass. No, fakes! He hands off. Statue of Liberty... He'll school you if he's got room. He's gonna have to get out of bounds, and he does! They're gonna have to hurry. It's gonna start as soon as they move those chains. Trying to get the team back on sides. Coach Taylor screaming in plays. It's chaos out there right now. Eric: Towards right! Towards right! Go, go! Snap the ball! Speaker: Rushing to get the play off. Saracen calling for the g*n. He's back. He's left. He falls. No, he gets up on his feet. Being pursued by two Westerby defenders. Eric: Go, baby! Grandma: Come on, Matthew! Speaker: He eludes a tackle. The clock runs out. He pumps. He steps up. He hurls that football. Oh, man, can this kid throw the ball! He's definitely wide open. He's got it! At the 20... the 10... He's going all the way! Touchdown! Panthers win! Panthers win! Matt Saracen somehow brings this team back to win the football game. How do you do? Coach 1: Congratulations, Coach. Smash: Right now, it's not really about who wins or loses, Father. We just all wanna be with Street right now, God. We know that you work in mysterious ways and we just wanna send our spirit, our presence, our love, just to heal him in whatever way, Lord... whatever might be broken, Lord. Just fix it right now, Father. Jesus, in your name we pray. Amen. Eric: Give all of us gathered here tonight the strength to remember that life is so very fragile. We are all vulnerable. And we will all, at some point in our lives... fall. We will all fall. We must carry this in our hearts... that what we have is special. That it can be taken from us... and that when it is taken from us, we will be tested. We will be tested to our very souls. We will now all be tested. It is these times... it is this pain... that allows us to look inside ourselves.	{"type": "series", "show": "Friday Night Lights", "episode": "01x01 - Pilot"}	foreverdreaming
SUNDAY... SOUTH DILLON CHURCH Pastor: It is a blessing to be in the house of the Lord amongst believers. All: Amen. Pastor: We do know that on Friday night, one of our brothers, brother Jason, was injured in the football game. The doctors are saying that possible he could be paralyzed. But we know of a doctor who's greater than any doctor. All: Yes, yes. DILLON CHURCH Pastor: I have prayed with Mitchell and Joanne Street. And as an entire community, we have come together in prayer and hope. And faith. And with these prayers, this faith, this hope, I believe Jason Street will once again walk in on his own two feet and join this congregation and rejoice with us. EXT. DILLON Billy drives his pick-up and Tim is in back... Billy: I saw that tackle, little brother. I saw him ht that turf. Tell you what I think. He's talking about wanting to play football. He ain't ever gonna walk again. EXT DILLON CHURCH Lyla: And we know he's gonna be fine. He's gonna walk again. Tami (to Jason's mom): We're prayin' for him. Buddy: Best case scenario, Jason's probably out for a month. You know, it's probably a lot longer than that. But, uh, we need a plan for Friday night. Heck, we... Heck, we need a...need a plan for the rest of the season, is what we need, Eric. So tell me, you think little Matt Saracen can get it done? Eric: I guess we're fixin' to find out. Buddy: Yep. Eric: That was a nice sermon, wasn't it? Hey, Matt. Come here. Matt: How's it goin', Coach? Eric: We got a lotta work to do, son. Matt: Yes sir. [ Credits ] MONDAY... HOSPITAL Receptionnist: Hey, Lyla. Lyla: Hi. HOSPITAL - Jason's room Lyla: There he is. How you doing? Jason: Better now. Lyla: You ever hear of Nathan Foreman? Jason: Who? Lyla: Scuse me, doc. Can you come help me with this, please? Just grab this side, please. Have you ever heard of Nathan Foreman? Jason: Uh, no. Lyla: I was on the Internet last night reading about this guy. Had a terrible spinal injury, kinda like yours. He now playing varsity basketball for UC San Diego. I'm surprised you never heard of this. Jason: No, I'm...I'm oncology, actually. I'm just... I was just passing. Lyla: Oh, right. Well, can you hold this up for me, please, while I tape this? Thanks. Isn't this amazing? The cheerleaders and rally girls have actually joined forces. Jason: It's real nice. Lyla: Thanks so much. You know, Nathan Foreman missed one season, and the NCAA voted to give him an extra year of eligibility. Look at me, Jason. Look at me. This is gonna be okay. Jason: Yeah. Lyla: Okay? Jason: Okay. Lyla: I love you. Jason: I love you, too. EXT DILLON - Eric's car Radio on air... Sammy: Well, there's no silver lining to this one. This is just a tragic blow to the season,, any way you slice it. Jason Street is the Panthers. The team's been built around him. Now you've got this kid, this 160-pound hm? Matt Sorenson? EXT DILLON - Landry's car Radio on air... Landry (to Matt): They didn't even get your name right. Sammy: I think he just closed his eyes and threw that ball. The kid comes in with three minutes left in the fourth quarter. With that nd of adrenaline rush, anyone can throw one nice pass. Well, Hawk says you better go to church and do a little prayin. PANTHERS' HOME - Cloakrooms Eric: We're still waitin' to hear. They got a specialist's comin' in from Houston. In the meantime, it doesn't make any sense and it does nobody any good to make any predictions one way or the other until we get the official word. Understood? Players: Yes, sir. Eric: As far as football, we got a game Friday. We got a lotta work to do. FOOTBALL PRACTICE - On the field Matt: Ready? Break. Let's go, one! Number two! Two, two, two, two, two. Set! Blue, eight. Blue, eight. Hut! Eric: ht 'im deep! ht 'im deep. Mc Gill: Time! Eric: Matt, you gotta throw faster, son. If Dolia's open on the break, you gotta ht him on the break. Matt: Sorry, Coach. I thought... Eric: I don't want you to say sorry. I don't want you thinkin' out here. I want you to throw the ball. Dolia runs deep, ht him deep. He's open on the break, ht him on the break. Mc Gill: You got four seconds or a five-step drop, Matt! All right, come on. Let's do it again. Player: Go, go, go, go, go! Eric: Oh, ho, ho, ho. Mc Gill: God's sakes, Matt! Eric: Come here. What happened? Matt: I...I didn't see the linebacker. Eric: You didn't what? Mc Gill: He's bigger than my front door, Matt! Eric: South Milbank runs a five-three. They're gonna drop the linebackers. We set up in the gn. You got that? Matt: All right, Coach. I gotta...I gotta work on reading the cover... Eric: You need to look at the wide receiver comin' underneath the linebacker. Matt: Yes, sir. Eric: Timing patterns. ht 'em on the breaks. ht them on the breaks and play faster. Matt: Yes, sir. Hut! Eric: Saracen. I need you to work a little bit harder. You need to learn this offense, son. You need to know this offense in your mind, in your body. You need to know this offense so well that your children are gonna know this offense in their own DNA. Do you understand me? You understand? Matt: Yes, sir. Eric: All right. Go on. COACH'S HOUSE - Living room Tami: Okay, y'all, I'm outta here. Julie: I'm telling you, you shouldn't go to this book club, Mom. They're just gonna turn you into a pod. Tami: I know. I'm just gonna go one time, show them my literary prowess. And then I'll be done with it. Eric: Hey, come here. Come here. Tami: I love you. Eric: I love you, too, babe. WOMAN'S HOUSE - Girls' night All: To the girls' night. Girls. Cheers. We are thrilled that you're here with our book club. Tami: Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. I love the book. Woman: Oh, no. Oh, that's great. We don't really read the book. Tami: Y'all didn't read the book? Woman: We're just here to have fun. Tell me, how's your husband feeling about the team? Exactly, let's talk about what's important. Tami: He's...he lo... he's, um... excited about the team. Woman: Well, you know, are you sure? Tami: Listen. He should play my Robbie D. more. What he should be doin'... He should be running more dives than counters straight ahead. Do you have any idea what his plans are for Robbie? I don't. Smash-mouth football. Smash-mouth football. Three yards and a cloud of dust. This boy is ready to rumble. TUESDAY... DILLON RESTAURANT Smash: So look, you got my math homework? Rally-girl: yeah. Smash: Where is it? Rally-girl: At my home. Smash: I gotta come to your house and pick it up, huh? Well, you gonna be there? Rally-girl: Of course. Okay, all righty. All righty. Girl: Can't believe it. Just three days ago, we were right here. Jason Street was literally sitting right over there. Tyra: Could they be more annoying? I mean, seriously. Hey. Hey, yeah, you. You don't even know Jason Street. So stop crying. Okay, no. Seriously, stop. So. Just how drunk are you right now? Smash: Look, we can't... we can't just sit around and cry about it. Somebody's gotta take control. You know, like when one person drops the ball, somebody's gotta jump on the fumble. You pointin' at me. That's me, right? Players: That's you, man. Smash: That's me, baby. I know what I gotta do. We can't afford to lose this. This is ours. I wanna get to state. Girl: Hey, Matt. So, I'm yours. Matt: S-sorry? Girl: Well, now that you're first string, you get a first string rally girl. So the way this usually works is you tell me what you like, and I'll provide it. What do you like, Matt? Matt: Uh, I don't... I like, um... Girl: I make a mean chocolate coconut cake. Made with real butter. Matt: Well, that's... that sounds... Girl: Tell you what. Why don't you try it, see what you think, and we'll go from there. Matt: Yeah, that sounds good. Landry: Okay, can we just pause for a second and reflect on thE implications of this? Matt: No, no, no. I can...no. I can't think about girls right now. 'Cause I got a big game on Friday, so... Landry: I mean, this is it. We gotta seize our opportunity. I mean, you're QB1 now. You know, me and you. Me and you? Matt: What do you even have to do with it? Besides, it doesn't seem right with Jason sittin' there in that hospital, just layin' there and all. Landry: Well, maybe it's not right, but it's what we got. You know? Four or five weeks, he's back on the team. You're second string again. You know, the rally girls, they pack up their little tent and they move right down the road. Smash: You think this team needs a leader? Players: Yeah, it does, man. Look no further. I'm gonna lead this team. I know what I gotta do. Y'all gonna be wit' me? I'm gonna take us straight to state. Just because Street went down don't mean we just stop playin'. Look. Everybody get behind the Smash, and we won't miss a bat, baby. Tyra: Tim, no. Sit down. Don't do this. Smash: I'm sayin' we need to ht the weight room tomorrow hard. You gotta step it up. Look, you gotta run your rocks. Hey, wassup, Rig? Tim: Get up. Smash: What? Tim: You're sittin' in Street's booth. Get up. Smash: Look, what you talkin' 'bout, man? Tim: You heard what I said. Smash: Why don't you go home and sleep it off, Rig? Be on time at practice for a change. Tim: You're right. You guys enjoy the rest of your evening, okay? Smash: Hey, smile, Rig. God don't like ugly. Man, what's wrong with you? Girl: No, no. Tyra: What's the matter with you? Go on, Riggins! COACH'S HOUSE - Living room Tami (on phone): No, I think it's a great case. Well, sure. I'd love to help out. All right i can do thatRice Krispie Treats? No, I th...I... Rice Krisp Treats are great, and I do prefer 'em with the M and Ms in. Yeah. I'll probably just make 'em out of a box. Oh, that many? Eric: It's broken. Tami (on phone): Okay. I would be happy to do that, sure. All right, and thank you so much again for last night. It was just wonderful. Okay. I'll talk to you later. Bye! Tammy hangs up... Tami: I swear, I've gotta make 200 Rice Krispie Treats by Saturday. Went to that book club meeting last night. I'm on 12 committees now. Julie: Told you. It's a slippery slope. Tami: How's the AC? Eric: It's broken. You were right. Call the guy. I'm sorry. Tami: Sugar? I think it's time for me to get a job. I mean, we talked about it. We're settled. I think it's all right. Eric: You gonna do it now? Tami: Yeah, I think now. I'm gonna put out some feelers, all right? Eric: All right. Tami: All right. Eric: That's great. Tami: Nothin' you need to worry about. DILLON RESTAURANT Mayor Rodell: Now, those boys, those boys have always been weak against the run. And this year is no different. They cannot defend against the ground game. Am I right, Rich? Man: That's exactly right. Mayor Rodell: So it's simple. You give Smash the ball. You let him do his thing. Man: Yeah, and don't let Saracen throw the ball. Mayor Rodell: I know. We don't want any more of our boys beaned in the helmet. Buddy: That was funny. Man: That boy can not do the job. I mean, you can't just... You can't just sit back and close your eyes and expect miracles to happen every time you throw the football. Just ain't gonna happen. Mayor Rodell: That boy will lose us ball games. Buddy: Hey, now. Ease off on all these pearls of football wisdom down there, and let Eric finish his riblets. Mayor Rodell: That's right. He's right. Buddy: Uh-huh, because, I mean, he knows what it takes on Friday night. Eric: That's right. Buddy: A big ol' W. Eric: You know, I just wanna say... I'm gonna keep all this in mind. And thank you very much for this meal. This is a fantastic meal. Mayor Rodell: Oh, it's our pleasure. Eric: Fantastic meal. FOOTBALL PRACTICE Mc Gill: Ball, ball! Aww. Oh, for God's sakes, Matt! Watch the way you throw the ball! Don't you think we oughta start focusing on our ground game? We give this kid too much to think about, he's gonna fall apart in front of our eyes. Big time. Eric: Let's go! Thanks, Coach. I'll run the practice today. I right power 26. Matt: Hut! Mc Gill: ht somebody! Player: What's going on over there, Coach? Coach: I seen my granddaddy make better blocks playing checkers. Tim: Yeah, if you could run as fast as you talk, we'd probably score every play. Smash: Look, you got some--you got somethin' to say to me? Tim: You need to start gettin' behind my blocks, right behind me. I can't keep doin' all this. And you need to quit... Coach: Hey, what's wrong with you guys? What the hell you doin'? Knock it off. Hey, get outta here! South side of Dillon, baby, for real! EXT. DILLON RESTAURANT Tyra: Hey, Smash. Smash: Hey. Look. Your boyfriend's a real piece of work. Tyra: Well, at the moment, I wouldn't really call him my boyfriend. EXT. SMASH'S HOUSE Regina: Why are you empty-handed, girl? G'on back there and get some bags outta that car. You know I'm not supposed to put stress on my back. Smash's sister: Why me? Regina: So you're not around to get the back of my hand is why. Smash's sister: Brian never has to do anything. Regina: Brian, turn down that junk! That's not music. It's the devil's work, is what it is. SMASH HOUSE - Living room Regina: Have you lost your mind? Tyra: You must be Mrs. Williams. Regina: Yes, I am. Messin' with white girls after gettin' in a fight at practice.You're comin' with me. Move. This to get back at Tim Riggins? Tyra: What are you, a shrink? Regina: Oh, I'd be nice. I work at Planned Parenthood. You probably haven't seen the last of me. Tyra: Hey, I know how to use protection. I'm not some piece of trash. Regina: Oh, no, you a class act all the way. Tyra: What in the hell is that supposed to mean? Regina: It means you're safe to walk from here. HOSPITAL - Jason's room Jason: Come on. Come on. Eric: Hey. Jason: Hey, Coach. Eric: How you feelin'? Jason: Well, I'm, uh... not really feelin' too much... right now. Eric: I, uh... The guys. All the guys signed it up for ya. Oh, yeah. They all say hello. Jason: Did Riggins sign that? Eric: Riggins signed. Everyone signed it. Huh. Jason: When'd you teach him how to write his name? Eric: Well, he scrawled on there. He didn't really... Jason: Well, that's really nice, Coach. Eric: Here, I'm gonna just set it down here. Thank you. Damn, son. Look, I don't think anyone needs to tell you, but you know we're savin' your spot over there. You know whatever it takes, however long it takes... Yeah. We, uh... Jason: How's, uh... how's Saracen doin'? Eric: Saracen's doin' fine. He's throwin' like a girl, but he's doin' fine. He's doin' fine. It'll take some time. Jason: Well, uh... You know, when I was... when I was kinda like that kid? You know? I don't know. He's a lot different. He doesn't need it real bad, like I do, I think. He's kinda creative. You know? Listens to Bob Dylan and draws pictures and...stuff.I don't know. He's a... He's a good kid, I think. You free him up a little bit out there on that field, he'll, uh... he'll make some things happen for you. Eric: You're a good man. You're a good man. You're what makes guys like me wanna coach. You are a good man. Jason: Thank you. I'm sorry if I... sorry if I let you down. Let the team down. Eric: Damn, son. You didn't let me down. You did not let me down. WEDNESDAY... EXT. MATT'S HOUSE Landry: You know, the problem is, is that they keep comparing you to Jason Street. Know what I mean? That's like... That's like comparin' my music to the Red Hot Chili Peppers or something. I mean, I'm not...I'm not the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I mean...I mean, I'm my own thing. Matt: I'm not any better or any worse. Landry: It's just different. No, you're definitelya whole lot worse. Okay, well, that's not the point, all right? The point is, you gotta learn how to work the media. You know, let them know who Matt Saracen is. I mean, right now, the bitches can't even get your name right. Matt: All right, well, who is Matt Saracen? Landry: Who is Matt Saracen? Matt Saracen is QB1. And when the cameras start rollin', just start spewin' stuff out. You know what I mean? I mean... just be out there. The weirder you are, the better, really. FOOTBALL PRACTISE Matt: Not everyone's gonna be the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I mean... Jason Street is a great guy. And everyone knows what he's all about. So he's like...he's like the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Um, but... and everyone likes that, and that's good, but that's not me. Journalist: Well, if Jason Street is the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who are you? Matt: Uh... Exactly. I mean, who am I? Who...who am I? Cheerleaders: Big G, little O. Go, go! Sharp arms! Big G, little O. Go, go! Last time. Big G, little O. Go, go. Lyla: Hey, Tim. Tim. Hey. Tim: Hey. Lyla: How you doin' with all this? Tim: Well, you know. Lyla: Yeah. Look, I know you're not a chatterbox when it comes to your feelings, but I'm here. Tim: Yeah, cool. Lyla: You know, Jason's been asking about you. Tim: Yeah. How, uh... how is J.? Lyla: He's good. He's good? He's real good. He's still Jason. Tim: I know. Lyla: I was gonna go over there later, around 8:00. Visiting hours are over at 6:00, but I kinda got the place wired. You wanna come with? You know, you wait too long, he might start takin' it personal, Tim. HOSPITAL - Jason's room Doctor: The MRI shows damage to the cord at the C7-T1 junction. It could be much worse. Jason, you're fortunate that the fracture was low enough that you'll still be able to use your arms and hands. Jason: It's okay. What about my legs, doc? Jason's mom: Well, we'll just keep prayin'. And then once you start physical therapy... Jason: Ma. Look, Dr. Kroll. I just wanna know if I'm gonna be able to walk again. Please. Look, I can take it. All you gotta do is tell me the truth. DILLON RESTAURANT Woman: Tami, Tami. Hi! Tami: Hey! How are you? Woman: Good, how are you? Tami: Good. Woman: Good to see you the other night. Tami: You, too. Y'all have a good dinner. Woman: Okay, you, too. Tami: Hey. Eric: I'm so sorry. Tami: It's all right. It's all right. I, uh... I made a couple of dates for next week, one with a hog farmer from Rio Tinto... Hog farmer from Rio Tinto. Mm-hmm. That's a new one. Eric: Where's my daughter? Tami: I've always liked hog farmers. Your daughter is at dance rehearsal, which I've told you about 20 times. Eric: Oh. Tami: How was your day? Eric: Um, my day... my day... Tami: Sweetheart, would you take your hat off at the table, please? You look so cute. Eric: You go first. Tami: Okay, you want the good news or the bad news? Eric: No, good news. Tami: Always the good news. All right, I'll give you the bad news. AC? Done. Like I said, we need a new unit. $3,000, minimum. Eric: What's the good news? Tami: There a cold front movin' in? No, the good news is that I think I might be able to help you pay for the new unit 'cause I think I got myself a job. Eric: Really? Tami: Mm-hmm. Eric: That fast, you got a job? Tami: Yeah. Eric: Where'd you get the job? Tami: I..I...at the school. Eric: What school? Tami: At the high school. Eric: W... At my high school? Tami: I wasn't aware that you had bought it, but yeah. I'm the new guidance counselor at the high school Eric: You know that guidance counselors can be a nuisance, and that means... Tami: Eric. Eric: We're gonna have some interaction, and... Tami: Well, that's good. Eric: Guidance counselors have interaction. Tami: I think that's great that we're gonna have some interaction. Eric: Well, I just think that we... we should probably talk about-- Tami: Well, I've taken the job already. Eric: See, what happened to the consultant we were gonna have? Hello, Coach Taylor. Yeah. Thank you. It's the hospital calling about Jason. Yeah. Hi. Yep. THURSDAY... FOOTBALL PRACTISE - Cloakrooms Eric: Uh... Jason's paralyzed. Uh...they say with physical therapy, he'll regain use of his arms, his hands, his upper body. But they don't think he's gonna regain use of his legs. Now, listen up. Any of you need to talk to me, you'll find me in my office. Or you call me any time. Do not hesitate. Now, that's all for today. We'll... We'll pick it up tomorrow. ALAMO FREEZE Landry: Okay, I right 44 lead bronco. Matt: Uh, open right, um...open right, draw to the tailback, off the right, uh, tackle. Landry: Okay, there you go. You got one. Pro left, motion, X-Y eagle. Matt: Uh, five-step drop, X-receiver runs the five yard out, um...Uh... and the wide receiver runs the button. Landry: Close .The fullback releases. Matt: The fullback releases under the outside linebackers. Damn it. Landry: Why are you yellin' at me? Matt: I'm not. Landry: I mean, you only got, like, 250 or so variations to go after this. Man: You gonna give me my fries anytime soon? Matt: Um, I'm sorry. Sorry. Here. Here, you can have a free drink. Sorry about the wait. I'm sorry. HOSPITAL - Jason's room Jason: God. Lyla. Lyla: I know, I should go. I'll be back at 6:00, okay? Jason: That's not what I'm sayin'. Uh... Lyla: What? Jason: We have to talk about this. All right? About me. Lyla: I spoke to Dr. Kroll. He didn't say it was impossible. Jason: Lyla. It would take a miracle for me to walk again. I mean, it's just not gonna happen. Lyla: You know what I think? I don't think Dr. Kroll realizes who you are. We are gonna go out, and we are gonna find the best doctors out there. That's what we're gonna do. Jason: Lyla, doctors don't... Lyla: You are Jason Street. And I am Lyla Garrity. And everything is gonna work out just the way we planned it. Thank you, Lord, for all that You have given to Jason and myself. We don't know yet why You are putting us through this test, but I know that You'll find a way to show us. And we will pull through this test. Whatever it takes. Amen. Jason: Amen. Amen. COACH'S OFFICE Eric: I saw you pullin' up. Tami: Mm-hmm. Thought you might. Eric: What are you doin'? Tami: Field's empty. Let's go make out. How you doin'? Eric: Matt Saracen isn't ready for this. Tami: Mm-hmm. Eric: This... this town. Oh, this town expects, this town expects state. They expect nothin' less, babe. Tami: I know. Eric: I tell you what. Right now, I have no idea whether or not we can even win a game and I'm serious when I say that. Tami: Yeah, well... I know what you're gonna do. I know that you're gonna mold that boy. You are gonna mold Matt Saracen, same way you did with Jason Street. You did it with Jeff Perell back in Macedonia. You took that kid in. I mean, he didn't know the difference between a skinny post and an out-and-up. You made him the best quarterback in the league. You did that. Eric: Yeah, well, I also had close to a year to get him ready. This is a little bit different. I-- Tami: Well? Eric: I got no time here. I got no time. I lose a game, I'm on the road. I lose a couple more, we're packin' our bags. And I tell you what. What they say, it's right. I mean, I... Jason Street, he was my meal ticket. He's the only reason I got this job, and God bless that boy. But I am screwed. Tami: You know what? Eric: I... Tami: There is not a person in the world that could do this, except for you. This is what you do. I've seen you do it with my own eyes. I believe in you. I believe in you with every cell in my being. MATT'S HOUSE - Living room TV is on ... Tame the wild beast. I...I like that. Tame the wild beast. You know, I can't, in good conscience,not go through any more... Matt: Uh, Grandma, you...you need to go into your room for a minute, okay? Grandma: Hmm? Who is it? Matt: Grandma, please... Grandma: Who is it, honey? Matt: Uh, who is it? Eric: Matt, it's Coach Taylor. Matt: Who? Eric: It's Coach Taylor. Matt: Uh, hey, Coach. Grandma: Coach Taylor's here? Matt: Oh. Eric: How you doin'? How's it going? Matt: Good, good. Eric: Gonna open the door? Matt: Oh, yeah, how 'bout... How 'bout if we just go outside? Eric: I think I'd like to come inside. Matt: Okay. Um... So, uh, I'm fine. I'm fine. Uh, w...what's goin' on? Eric: Oh, not much. I just thought I'd stop by. I wanted to have a chat with you. Matt: Oh, it's, um... Okay, okay. Um, is everything all right? Eric: I thought maybe we'd go over... Grandma: Hi, how are you, Coach? Eric: Hello, how are you? Grandma: Very nice to be here. Eric: Thank you. Oh, nice to see you. Grandma: Sit down. Honey, move those books. Eric: Oh, sorry. Grandma: And I brought you some cake. I hope you'll enjoy it. Eric: Oh, no. Grandma: Sit down, have some. Eric: I appreciate that. I... I tell you what. I, uh, I... Grandma: Oh, wasn't he wonderful Friday night? Eric: Ma'am, he was. Matt: Thanks, Grandma. Grandma: I'm so proud of him. Eric: You should be proud of him. Uh... I'll tell you what. If it's okay with you, I'd like to take Matt off your hands for about an hour. There's something I'd like to discuss with him as far as the football game this week. Grandma: Oh. Yes, you do have a big game, and yes, you can take him. Eric: Thank you, ma'am. I'll have him back soon. Grandma: But I want you to come back. Eric: I will come back. I'll come back for some more cake. Grandma: All right. You'll better do that. Eric: Next time, I'm gonna have the milk, too. Grandma: I'll get you some milk. Eric: All right. Grandma: And I've got hot chocolate and everything you could want. Matt: All right, you get some rest, Grandma, okay? Grandma: All right. I'll wait for you. Matt: Okay. Grandma: Now, you listen. You listen to him. Matt: I will. I'll be home... Grandma: Move your feet. Move your feet more. Matt: Right. I love you, Grandma. Grandma: Love you. Eric: Will do. Grandma: Coach Taylor. FOOTBALL FIELD Eric: I could never sleep the night before a game. In my head, I'd go over the plays over and over. It'd drive me crazy. I'd read. Bought a book on meditation. That didn't work. Your dad in Iraq, that must be hard. Matt: It's not so bad, sir. Eric: I tell you what. My dad, he was anything but in Iraq. My dad... my dad was on me day in, day out. Still thinks I shoulda made the NFL. But as much as I complain about him, I don't know where I'd be without him. You know, you... I don't know how you do it. I mean, you got your time commitments. You got your pressures. You got your studies. All that, and being the man of the house, too. Matt: Yes, sir. Eric: I'll tell you somethin'. I know you didn't want me to step foot in your house tonight. But I'll tell you somethin' else, and don't you ever forget this: You should feel proud. You should feel real proud. Matt: Yes, sir. Eric: This is all yours for the takin'. Depends on how much you want it. It's yours for the takin'. You know, the other night, you played for a few minutes. Tomorrow, four quarters. You can't be distracted by anything. You're gonna have a lot of distractions. You're gonna have our fans, their fans. You got the band. You got the cheerleaders, with their pretty,young-shaped legs bouncin' up and down. You got a job to do. Nothing else. Your teammates gonna need to hear you! You call the plays! You gonna be able to call the plays? Matt: Yes, sir. Eric: 22 rocket on ht. Matt: 22. 20... 22 rock... Eric: I can't hear you. Matt: 22. Eric: I can't hear you. Matt: 22! 22 rocket... Eric: This should be... You're QB1 of the Dillon Panthers. Your teammates, if they can hear you, they will believe in you. Now, you let it out until it hurts! You understand me? Matt: 22! 22 rocket! ht, ht, ht! Eric: 44 crossfire on red. Matt: 44! 44 crossfire! Red, red, red! Eric: What's your name? Matt: Matt Saracen! Eric: What you play? Matt: QB1! Eric: And how do you play it? Matt: Perfectly! Eric: We'll see about that. Who do you play for, Saracen? Matt: Dillon Panthers! Eric: How much do you want this? Matt: I want it, Coach. Eric: How much do you want this? Matt: I want it! Eric: Then take it! Do it again! Matt: 44 crossfire! ht, ht, ht, ht! FRIDAY ... AUTOMOBILE GARRITY'S Buddy: Well, Eric, you know, you and I've known each other a long time. I've known you since, well, I was just a salesman here, and you were the junior high coach over there. And, uh, well, you probably liked me a lot more then, didn't you? Eric: I wouldn't say that. I don't know. Buddy: Well, I like you, Eric. I just want you to always know that. I like you, and I believe in you, and I'm glad you're back here with us. Eric: Good. I appreciate that. Buddy: So. It's Friday night. You feel it? You ready for it? Game night? Eric: Yep, mm....hmm. Buddy: Right? You ready to go? We're gonna give 'em our best, you bet. Well, I don't want to hear that. Now, this is not just some game. You realize that. After what's happened with Jason. I mean, this is about tradition. It's about this town. It's about the spirit, and keepin' this town alive. That's football. That's all we got. Now, if we lose this game, this town's just gonna be in a turmoil. And I don't need that. Eric: Nah, we don't... we don't need that. Buddy: No. This team needs a W. This town needs a W. Hey. Always friends. All right. Good. Go get 'em tonight, Coach. Always friends. Always and ever. Always. FOOTBALL GAME - Cloakroom Eric: All right, listen up. We've suffered a big loss. A big loss. Some of you may be scared. And that's natural. Now, some of you may be really pissed off. One good thing about football is we get to channel that energy. This team has never been about one player. It's about all of us. Every single one of us. And if we're gonna come back from this loss, we're gonna need every one of us. Not one man. Every single one of us. Together. All right, let's pray. Dear Lord, please let us have a successful night tonight. A safe game. Please let us all play to our fullest potential. Please look over Jason Street. Let him know that he's in all of our hearts. We love him. And we miss him. Thine is the kingdom, the power, the glory, forever and ever. Amen. Players: Amen! Eric: Clear eyes, full hearts... Players: ...can't lose! Eric: Let's get 'em! (ALL YELLING) Let's get 'em out there, now! Y'all take care. Players: Coach, good luck. Eric: You up for this? Matt: Yes, sir. Eric: Let me ask you one question. Last Friday night, when you threw that pass, that...that winning pass... did you close your eyes? Matt: No, sir. My eyes were open, sir. My eyes were wide open. Eric: Let's go play football. Come on. (DRUMMING) (WHISTLE bl*wing)	{"type": "series", "show": "Friday Night Lights", "episode": "01x02 - Eyes Wide Open"}	foreverdreaming
FOOTBALL GAME - Field Speaker: We are live from Panther Stadium, in Dillon, Texas. And we are ready to play football. It was just a week ago this town was rocked by the tragic injury to our quarterback, Jason Street, a young man who embodied the hopes and dreams DILLON HOSPITAL - Jason's room Jason's mom: Jason, are you sure you want to watch the game? I can just... Jason: Leave it, please. FOOTBALL GAME - Field Speaker: Now, the question is, will Coach Taylor be able to survive without his star quarterback? And can young Matt Saracen step up to lead this team? Saracen's only taken about three snaps his entire career.. Matt: We're going with I right, power. 44 tomahawk, on one. Ready, break. Speaker: Tonight, it's all about the ground game. Coach Taylor's, gonna have to hope Saracen can get the ball into the hands of their outstanding running back Smash Williams, if the Panthers are gonna have a sht. DILLON HOSPITAL - Jason's room Jason: Come on, Matt. FOOTBALL GAME - Field Speaker:Saracen's into the count. Defense pushing in. They're expecting run. He opens to the left, hand off to Williams. Wait, Saracen keeps on a bootleg. Oh, and he gets drilled as he lets that ball go. He's got Dolia at the 45. He makes the catch. To the 40. What an inspired call by Coach Taylor. He could go all the way! DILLON HOSPITAL - Jason's room Jason: Go. FOOTBAL GAME - Field Speaker: He's to the 20, to the 15. I don't think they're gonna catch him. Oh, Dolia gets stripped at the 10-yard line. And the Rattlers come up with the ball. What a gutsy call by Coach Taylor, but, man, did that just blow up in his face. FOOTBALL GAME - Cloakrooms Eric: Execution! Where the hell's the execution out there?! Huh?! My God, we oughta be beating these bums by 40 points! Riggins, you're supposed to be one of the toughest guys in the district! They are handing your ass to you, son! You better get your head in the game. FOOTBALL GAME - Field Matt: Hut, hut! FOOTBALL GAME - Cloakrooms Eric: Smash...north, south. North, south. If you want to dance with these boys out there, you invite them to the prom! Smash: They spottin' me every... Eric: What?! You got something to say to me?! Smash: Call some play-action to open me up, Coach. They see me coming. Eric: What?! I can't hear you. What?! FOOTBALL GAME - Field Speaker: Our Dillon Panthers are runnin' out of time. Deep into the fourth quarter. Come on, coach! Run the football now! There're only 15 seconds left in this contest, folks. And it is third and goal from the 9. The Panthers down by six points. And they have all but self-destructed here tonight. Although you've got to admire the courage of young Matt Saracen. This quarterback has really played hard, with a lot of heart. DILLON HOSPITAL - Jason's room Jason: Read your defenses. Come on, Saracen. FOOTBALL GAME - Field Matt: Hut! Speaker: Saracen on the fake. He drops back. He's in trouble. He beats 'em out around the right side. Oh, he's got legs on him. The 15, the 10. The 5. He's gonna score. He's down to the 3. Bringing it hard to the goal line. And dropped right at the goal line. The Panthers are saying touchdown, but we are gonna wait to see what the referee's call is. No touchdown. DILLON HOSPITAL - Jason's room Jason: Damn it. They had it. They had 'em bat. FOOTBALL GAME - Field Speaker: That is it for our Dillon Panthers. They have lost a heartbreaker here, in a game that they should have easily dominated tonight. And I'll tell you, Coach Taylor is off to a disastrous start this season, folks. FOOTBALL GAME - Cloakrooms Eric: Saracen! That was a good game. But not good enough. Not nearly good enough! [ Credits ] RIGGINS'HOUSE - Living room Billy: It ain't hard, Tim. Hell, it's not rocket science. You bat the living dog snot out of those guys. You win the game, then you go out and you get yourself a little piece of tail. What part of that equation don't you understand? You guys just bent over and grabbed your ankles. You shamed your good name. Tim: Yeah, I feel really awful about that. Billy: Speaking of pieces of tail, Lyla Garrity. You're not... What? I can't understand you when you're not moving your mouth, Tim... you're not speaking. Lyla: Hi, is Tim here? Billy: Uh, no. Not at the moment. Lyla: Well, can you please tell him that Lyla Garrity stopped by and I will be in the hospital with his best friend Jason Street! Today and tomorrow, and the next day, and so on. So whenever he wants to visit is fine. But Jason is asking for him, so sooner is better. Could you please tell him that when you see him? Billy: I'll give him the message, sweetie. Lyla: Thanks. EXT. SARACEN'S HOUSE Landry: Matt, I've been working on this theory. Matt: You know what? Can you just help me out? I really don't want my grandmother to see this. Landry: Funny you should mention that, because she's at the core of my theory. Tell me this. Dillon hasn't lost to South Milbank in what, like, 20 years? Matt: 17. Landry: 17, right. So why do they lose now? No, I know what you're thinking, and that's not it. 'Cause you know you played a good game last night. I mean, that's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is the supernatural. Matt: You're retrd. Landry: In a lot of cultures, they believe older women to be very powerful witches. Matt: Oh, you think my grandma is a witch. Look, my grandmother can barely remember how to work the phone half the time. How's she gonna put a spell on the Dillon Panthers? Plus, why would she put a spell... Grad ma: Matt? Matt? What are y'all doin' out here? Matt: I'm just cleaning up a little bit, Grandma. Grand ma: Oh, well, when you get done, I want you to go out back and water the children. Matt: Y-You mean the flowers, Grandma? Is that what you mean? Grand ma: Yeah. Just what I said, wasn't it? People: Hey, losers! DILLON HOSPITAL - Jason's room Nurse: Come on, you got it. Lift it up. There you go, give it a sht. Lift it up. Lift, lift, lift, lift, lift. Unh! All right. All right. Relax. Jason: I want to do this again. I can do it again. Nurse: You don't have to do it. Jason: I can do it. Nurse: Not today. Not today. Let's wait for tomorrow. All right? Down you go. It's all right. Okay? Jason: Thank you. Nurse: There you go. All right, you good? Jason: Yes. Lyla: Hey, baby. Hey, Danielle. Nurse: Hey, Lyla, how you doing? Lyla: Good. How are you? Nurse: All right, Jason, same time tomorrow? Jason: Yes, ma'am. I'll be here. Nurse: All right. Lyla: Hi. Boy, were you missed last night. We got spanked. It's like no one knew what to do without you. I'll tell you what, I would not wanna be Coach Taylor right now, that is for sure. Jason: Just give him some time, all right? He'll be fine. Lyla: So, we're expecting a huge turnout for the pancake supper tomorrow. Jason: The what? Lyla: The pancake supper. The benefit. Jason: Oh, yeah. Sorry. Lyla: To help with the cost of the rehab facility. Jason: Yeah. Lyla: It's exciting going to that rehab place. You know why? Jason: Why is that? Lyla: Because that's where you're gonna get your legs back. Jason: Lyla... Lyla: You and me, we can get through anything. Jason: What's up? Lyla: Oh... Jason: What? Lyla: Um, excuse me. Nurse? Jason: Lyla. Lyla: Something's wet down there. Jason: Dolores, what's going on? Nurse: Excuse me. Jason, it's your catheter. Jason: Oh, God. Nurse: We're gonna take care of you. Can you give us a minute? Can you give us a minute? Lyla: Um, I... Nurse: Just a minute. Go ahead. You're going to be fine, Jason. EXT. DILLON - Shop Jason's mom: Hey. Tim. Tim: Hey. Jason's mom: How you doing, honey? Tim: Hi. I'm okay. How are... How are you and Mr. Street doing? Jason's mom: We're, uh... We're holding out. Jason's been asking about you. Tim: Yeah. I've been meaning to go to see Jay, and... Jason's mom: I know, you're busy with football and all. Tim, just 'cause Jason's in the hospital doesn't mean you can't come over for Tuesday night dinner. Tim: Thank you ma'am. I'll, uh... I'll call you. Jason's mom: Get some rest, okay? Take care of yourself. Tim: Yes, ma'am. Jason's mom: Am I gonna see you tonight at the pancake supper? Tim: Yes, ma'am. Jason's mom: Good. Bye-bye, honey. DILLON RESTAURANT Eric: I'll tell you what, if she did let us get a dog, the kind of dog we're gonna get is a brown Labrador. And if it's not a brown Labrador, we're not getting a dog. Julie: Then we can name it, like, Fluffy, or Spike. Eric: Hey, Jill. Two burgers, with bacon. Julie: Onion rings, Diet Coke. Extra cheese. Spicy chicken sandwich for mom. Get Mom's... And Dad's. Eric: Don't do it with he three hamburgers. Go sit down. Too much dad cow. She wants onion rings, diet cola. Um, we need two burgers. I need a spicy chicken to go. And I'll have the biggest French fries you have. Man: You're Eric Taylor's girl, right? Julie: Uh, yeah. Man: I was just wondering if y'all had started packing yet. Julie: Uh... Man: Things can get real unpleasant around here when you lose. Eric: Can I help you? Man: I was just telling her how it works around here when you lose football games. Eric: If you got a problem, you can talk to me. You don't have to talk to my daughter about it. Man: I do have a problem. I have a problem with you pissing our season away calling them dumb-ass plays. Eric: I'm here with my 15-year-old daughter. You know? So I'm just gonna walk away right now. That's really great of you, though. I sure appreciate that. Come on, let's go. Man: You got no guts. See, that's why you ain't gonna never have one of these. Eric: All right. Don't listen to him. Don't listen to that. Man: You won't even finish out the year here, Taylor. You will not last one year. PRACTISE Eric: These are some big horses we're running up against. Their offensive line averages 290 across the board. Matt, how big's our biggest guy? McGill: Oh, Pudnick goes about 265. Eric: When you run up against the biggest boy on the block, you gotta be faster. Velocity kills, gentlemen. We need to be faster. We will outlast them. We will go above and beyond. Smash, what the hell you doin', son? Smash: Hey, Coach, look, listen. Me and the guys have been talking. Look, we got a tough game coming up. Shouldn't we work on some hand-offs? Give our QB some practice? I mean, seriously, we gotta get that boy up to speed. Player: Maybe we should get him a tutor. Smash: We all know what the problem is. Look, the guy's a weak link. Eric: I'll tell you what. Everybody listen up! I was gonna let everyone get out of here early this morning. But since you're in such good shape. What do you say we run five more? Smash: Coach, are you... Eric: How 'bout ten extra ones? Smash: I don't see how this... Eric: 15 more! I can count real high, Smash. How high do you think I can count? You want to test me?! Let's go! Let's go! Pick it up! Buddy: There he is. There he is. Mr Deitz: You wanted to talk to me, Mr. Garrity? Buddy: Hello, Mr. Deitz, how you doing? Well, so there's this stud quarterback out of Louisiana. He's displaced. Katrina victim. And he's over here now. Name's Ray Tatom. Mr Deitz: Voodoo Tatom? Buddy: You know him? Mr Deitz: I know of him. Buddy: He's gonna be over in Marlsboro Thursday afternoon. At that old lot over there, about 2:00. What I thought was maybe you and I could just kind of ease over there. You know, drive over there and check him out. See if he lives up to the hype. Eric: Let's go, Smash! Get on there! Pick it up! Mr Deitz: Yes, sir. GARRITY'S HOUSE - Lyla's room Lyla: Hey, you get the napkins and stuff? Pam: Yep, we're all set. Lyla: Good. We better hurry. All the girls are gonna be there soon. If no one's there to tell 'em what to do, they'll just fool around. Pam: Slow down. There's time. So, your birthday's tomorrow. What do you want to do? Lyla: I'm having dinner with Jason in the hospital. Pam: Oh, honey... Lyla: What? Pam: You've been spending so much time there lately. I thought we could go out. Lyla: No, Mom, it's already all planned. Sorry. Pam: Lyla, are you sure this isn't all just too much? I mean, you're at the hospital every day. Lyla: You'd do it for Dad, wouldn't you? Pam: Well, yeah, but he's my husband. Lyla: Well, I'm marrying Jason someday. Pam: Honey, you need to accept the reality of the situation. I mean, this is a terrible thing that has happened. And maybe you should talk to someone. Lyla: He's coming back from this, okay? He just is. That's all there is to it. He needs me right now. PANCAKE SUPPER Landry: Yep, Matt, the river of Rally Girls has pretty much run dry. Matt: Will you shut up? Lois: Look at him go at it. Julie: Ew, gross. All right, wanna go get a turkey burger? Matt: Hey, Julie, I got you some soy sausage. Julie: Hey, Matt. Thank you, but I'm actually on my way out. So you can have my pancakes. All right, I'll see you later. Matt: All right. Julie: Bye. Matt: Damn. Mayor Rodell: I heard about your new job. Mm-hmm. Congratulations. Tami: Thank you. Buddy: Jason Street is probably never gonna play football again. You know about as well as I do. And Matt Saracen is not gonna take us to State. Mayor Rodell: The last school counselor klled herself. That's right. Tami: I'm sorry? Mayor Rodell: Yeah, she klled herself with pills, I think. Buddy: I was just thinking it was about time for us to move on the Katrina kid. Eric: Let me just say one thing about that. I hope this is on the up and up, because I really got enough headaches going on right now as it is. Buddy: Just let me handle it.. I just need you to look at the tapes for me, if you will. Will you just look at the tape, Coach? Just look at it for me. Eric: All right. All right. Buddy: Good. Smash: Look who it is. My little ray of sunshine. Tyra: Not now, Smash. Have you seen Tim? He said he was gonna be here. Smash: No, I haven't seen Rig. He probably passed out cold somewhere. Let's talk about us. Tyra: I don't think so. EXT. DILLON Tyra: Hey, dumb-ass. Just gonna ignore me? Think I'll go away? Tim: That's what I keep hoping, but you don't seem to want to get the message. Tyra: You know, you're such a big tough guy. You can't even go see Jason in the hospital. I mean, damn, it, Tim, grow a set, why don't you! 'Cause we both know that's what this is all about. Tim: Hey, Tyra. How's Smash? Was he good? Did you have a nice time? Tyra: Nothing happened. Not really. Besides, don't pretend like you haven't slept with half the Rally Girls. Tim: We sure do have something special here, Tyra. Tyra: You know, maybe you're right. Maybe I am wasting my time. 'Cause you are just another mediocre football player, who's gonna grow up to drink himself to death. Maybe we should just end this right now. Tim: I'll see you around then. Tyra: I am serious, Tim. Are you listening to me? If I get in that car right now, I'm never coming back. Do you understand? Tim: I get it. Tyra: That's it? Breaking up for real, and that's all you have to say. That was great ERIC'S OFFICE - Meeting coach Eric: All right, Tatom can throw the ball. Can he scramble under pressure? McGill: Keep watching. Kid's team went to the state championship last year. Broke three tackles on a 40-yard touchdown. Eric: You've seen this tape already? McGill: Yeah, I was over at Buddy's last weekend. Barbecue. Eric: I didn't know y'all were such good friends. DILLON HIGH - Hallway Rally girl: Hey, Tim. Here's that paper on East of Eden. I misspelled a bunch of the words so this time, it'll look like yours. And your biology homework is on the bottom. Tim: Thanks. Rally girl: So I heard that you and Tyra broke up. Is it true? Tim: I suppose it is. Yeah. Lyla: Hey, Tim. Girl: Bye, Lyla. Lyla: Tim? Hey. We're having a prayer meeting for Jason this afternoon. You wanna come? Tim: What are we praying for, Lyla? A new spine for Jay? Lyla: Tim. I know you never do anything you don't want to do, and I guess that's fine. But don't insult me. TAMI'S OFFICE Matt: Excuse me, Mrs. Taylor? Tami: Hey, Matt. Matt: Hey...oh. Tami: Come on in. We'll do... We'll do the rest later? Man: Yes, thank you. Tami: Hey, Matt, how are you? How's it going? Matt: I need to drop pre-calculus, so that I can go to morning practices. Tami: Oh, okay. When are you gonna take pre-calculus? Matt: Uh, next semester, I guess, when football is done. Tami: All right, as long as you take it. Matt: Yeah, I'm gonna take it. Tami: You sure? Matt: Yeah. Tami: Okay. I know I saw drop cards somewhere. How have you been doing? How are you holding up through all this? It's been kind of a crazy time, has... Drop card! Here you go. You can fill that out. I'll sign it. Matt: Yeah, we're gonna do a lot better against Arnett Mead, so, you know, don't worry about that. Tami: No, but what I mean is how are you doing? I mean, you know. I know your dad's in Iraq, and that you're living with your grandma, right? Matt: Yeah, uh, I'm fine. I mean, Grandma's going through one of her good spells right now. So that's... that's good. Tami: There are bad spells sometimes? Matt: I mean, nothing, really. Just, like, she gets a little loopy sometimes. I mean, she'll put the ice cream in the cupboard. Or forget to take her medication, that kind of stuff. It's really not...It's not a big deal. Tami: Is it your responsibility to make sure she takes her medication? Matt: Well, there's really no one else around, so... Tami: Boy, you got a lot on your plate. I mean, I think just football itself is more than a full-time job. Matt: Yeah, well, I mean, I really love playing football. So I just hope I get to keep playing. Tami: Well, that shouldn't be a problem. You're doing a great job. Matt: Yeah, but I keep hearing that, like, they're trying to bring in this Katrina refugee, or something. This quarterback from New Orleans. Tami: I never heard anything about that. PRACTISE Eric: Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Come on, Riggins, let's go. Hold on to that ball. Come on, keep digging your legs. Come on, son. What's your problem? You do it again. Keep your legs moving. Keep your head up. Keep digging. Come on, son, let's go. Let's go! Keep your head up. Keep digging your legs. Keep your head up. Keep digging. Get over here. Come here. I don't see you preparing for this game, son. You go hard or you go home. Come on, now, you're out here, you give 110%, like everybody else. You give 110% all the time. Not just when you feel like it. Now, come on, son, do it again. Let's do it again. Don't do it, son. Don't do that. Don't do what I think you're about to do. Don't do that. You don't want to do that. Son, don't... McGill: Let him go, Coach. Listen, he's been watching the game film from when Street got hurt. I have a feeling he thinks it's all his fault. Eric: What the hell would he think it's his fault for? McGill: I don't know, maybe he thought he might have made the tackle, or something. Eric: The kid was 30 yards away. McGill: Hey, hey, Coach, listen. You can blame yourself for just about anything, if you think about it long enough. Buddy: Hey, Coach. Coach. What was that? Did I just see Tim Riggins just walk off practice? You know, that is one thing that never, ever would have happened in the old days. Ever, you think? No. No way. But you know, times have changed, I guess, huh? Eric: What can I do for you, Buddy? Buddy: Well, I just wanted to see if you want to go with us over to, you know, talk to that kid. That Ray Tatom kid. Eric: Matt Saracen may be a wild card. You know one thing I like about Matt Saracen? Buddy: What's that? Eric: I don't have to be worried about recruiting violations. Buddy: Who said anything about recruiting? I didn't say anything about recruiting. This is about that kid whose whole family has lost everything... devastated by Katrina. It'll help us out, And we can help him out. That's all. That's all there is to it. I mean, it's a win-win situation. Right, Mac? DILLON MOTEL Buddy: Whoa! Hey, Coach. Man: Buddy. Coach. Buddy: What'd I tell you? I told you he'd be there. Here it is. We're here, Vic. Man: You and everybody else. Come on in. Buddy: Good to see you. Hey, Voodoo. Man: Coach. Good to see you. Buddy: How are you, son? Man: Look here. This boy and his family have been through a terrible time. They lost everything in Katrina. And they've been bouncing around from place to place ever since. Buddy: The people of Dillon, Texas, are here to open their hearts. We might be able to provide housing. Very fine, very comfortable housing. Man: They need a fresh start. Buddy: We might be able to get Mr. Tatom over there a nice new job. We could arrange that. We might also even be able to arrange a little fund. You know, from some of the local businesses. Might be able to help a family get back up on its feet. We could set you up. The town of Dillon is a generous town. It's a fine town. It's a good place to call home. Man: He gets a guarantee to start? Buddy: Oh, yeah. That's right. Right, Coach? Eric: You know what, Buddy? Actually, I got a problem with that. I got a problem with that. Buddy: Well, now, you know, the coach and I can work on the details later. Eric: The point is, you want to go all the way, son? Voodoo: I am going all the way. Eric: You want to play college ball, go to the pros? Voodoo: That's the idea. Eric: Then you want to be with the number one team in Texas. Your representation can squeeze all it can out of this. But it's not about new cars and start-up money. This is about your future. And starting positions aren't handed out in motel rooms. They're earned on the field. You want to play with Arnett Mead, fine. They're gonna have a short season. It's your choice. Ma'am. It was nice to meet you. I wish all the luck to your family. GARRITY'S HOUSE - Kitchen Pam: I am telling you I need some help here. Buddy: Yeah, well, what do you want me to do? Pam: I want you to talk to her. You know, I love how you can find time to take an 80-mile road trip if the Dillon Panthers need something. But if your own daughter... Buddy: Hey, hey, she is gonna be fine. She's a smart girl. She's got a good head on her shoulders. Pam: How is she fine? She's living in a fantasy land... She's not thinking about college. She's not thinking about her own future. I mean, what's she gonna do? She's put all her eggs in one basket, and I'm sorry to tell you this, but you and I let her. Buddy: Just give it some time. 'Cause she'll get bored, and she'll move on. Mm-hmm. She will. Pam: Mm-hmm. TAYLOR'S HOUSE - Living room Tami: Hey. Eric: Hey, kids. Julie: Hi, Daddy. Tami: Did you eat any dinner? Eric: Uh, no, I didn't. But I think I can find something here. Tami: There's chicken in there. Hey, you didn't tell me that y'all are getting a new quarterback from New Orleans. Eric: Where did you hear that? Tami: Well, Matt Saracen came in today. He's feeling real stressed out about it. Eric: Really? Matt Saracen's under a lot of pressure, huh? Tami: Yeah. Eric: Maybe I should go over to Matt Saracen's house and make him some Omaltine, read him a bedtime story. Tami: I think you might want to just try a little compassion with him. Julie: Bye, Daddy. Eric: Hey, kiddo. Tami: You don't need to be sarcastic. Eric: You know what I think? I think everybody in this town is telling me how to do my job. And the one thing I think those kids don't need is that they don't need compassion. That's what I think. You want to know what else I think? What they do need to do is they need to win. And something else. You and I, we need to win, Tami. We need to win. Tami: Honey, there's Smash. TV is on... “Channel 13 Sports here at Hermann Field, where the Panthers had a great season last year. Hopefully they'll repeat that success this year.” Journalist: Been a lot of talk around Dillon that Taylor's not the right guy for the job. Smash: Oh, see, look, man, I can't even mess with you. You're already trying to get me in trouble. Journalist: Oh, no. I just want to know where you stand. Come on, you must have an opinion. Smash: Oh, yeah, I got an opinion. Journalist: I mean, I would, if I were you. You've got a lot to lose, if the coach mismanages this team. Smash: Look, off the record, I just think Coach T ought to be winning football games. That's all I'm saying. Journalist: See, I knew you had an opinion about how things were going. Tami: Let it go. Journalist: How do you feel about Friday night? Tami: He's a stupid kid, honey. Let it go. Eric, what are you doing? Just let it go. Come on. On Phone... Eric: Mac, I want... Yes, I did just see it. I want you to get the team together, and I want you to meet me at the field house in a half an hour. Yes, Mac, I know what time it is. Mac, meet me at the field house in half an hour. Thank you. Tami: Bye. Eric: You guys have a nice night now. SARACEN'S HOUSE - Living room Grand ma: Who's calling so late? Who's calling so late? Matt: I got... I got it. Hello? Now? PLAYER'S HOME Man: Coach is on the phone for you. RIGGINS' HOUSE Billy: Hey...you better get dressed. SMASH'S HOUSE Smash: Somebody gonna get that? Noannie, get the door! Eric: Hi, sweetie. You get yourself dressed. We're going on a little field trip. I'll see you in the car in two minutes. You tell your mother I say hello. ON BUS Smash: What's goin' on? Matt: I have no idea. EXT. DILLON Eric: Let's go. Everybody off the bus. Let'go, gentlemen. Let's go! Smash: What's he gonna do, kll us all? Matt: Maybe. Eric: Move 'em out. McGill: Line 'em up! Line 'em up! Eric: Wind sprints, up and down the hill. Let's go. Let's go. Go, move it, come on. If you think you're champions because you wear the Panther uniform, you're wrong! If you think you're champions because they give you a piece of pie at the diner, you're wrong! Let's go, let's go, let's go! Champions don't complain! Champions don't give up! Let's go, Coach. Send 'em now! Champions don't give up! Champions don't complain! Champions give 200%! You're not champions until you've earned it! Turn around. Don't stay in them bushes. Let's go! Let's go! There you go. Let's go. McGill: Coach, don't you think maybe they've had enough? Eric: I'll say when they've had enough. Smash: Clear eyes... full hearts... Matt: Can't lose! Smash: Clear eyes... full hearts... All: Can't lose! Smash: Clear eyes, ... full hearts... All: Can't lose! Smash: Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose! Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose! Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose! All: Can't lose! Smash: Go! DILLON HOSPITAL - Jason's room Lyla: Cute movie, right? Jason: It was a pretty sad birthday, huh? Lyla: No, it wasn't. This was exactly what I wanted, Jason. Anyway, we'll go to dinner next year. When you're all better. Jason: When I'm better? Lyla, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm not getting any better. Can't you see that? Lyla: Come on, Jason, you gotta have faith. Jason: Lyla, stop. Lyla: Jason...listen to me. This is just a little hiccup. That's all. It's a year. In one year, you'll be back on track. Jason: Lyla, stop it. Lyla: You will go to Notre Dame-- Jason: Stop it! Stop! My legs are never gonna get better. Ever. Lyla: But there are cases, lots of cases... Jason: And those cases aren't me. All right? I don't even have full use of my hands. I'll be lucky if I get that back. I can't even put my own shoes on and off. How can you not see that?! What the hell is wrong with you?! Lyla: I'm just trying to help. Jason: Yeah, well, you're not helping! You want to help? Then stop pretending that everything's okay! Lyla: Why are you getting so mad? Jason: Because every night when I go to sleep, I dream that I can walk again. And every morning, I wake up, and I have to accept it all over again. And then you walk in here, all smiles, and acting like nothing's wrong. And it's klling me! So get this through your head. All right? My life as we knew it...over. Lyla: Don't say that, Jason. Jason: Football...over. Notre Dame, going pro, all that...gone. You and me? We're not getting married. So I need you to do something for me, all right? Get out. Get out!Don't just look at me, go! Lyla: I'll be back tomorrow for when they... transfer you to the rehab facility. EXT. DILLON Eric: What happened to Jason Street was nobody's fault. This is football. Things happen. It was an accident. You understand me? Tim: I didn't even try, Coach. I didn't even... Eric: You were on the other side of the field. It wouldn't have mattered. It was an accident. It was not your fault. Look at me. I want you to let yourself off the hook, son. I want you to let yourself off the hook. Tim: Yes, sir. Eric: Be smart. Tim: Yes, sir. Eric: Now, you ever walk out of one of my practices again, and I will kick your ass off the team. That's a promise. Understood? Tim: Yes, sir. Eric: You owe me a practice. You walk home. We'll call it even. Tim: Coach. ON ROAD Lyla: What are you doing here? Do you want a ride? Tim: Isn't it past your bedtime, Lyla? Lyla: What, are you drunk again? Tim: Soon enough, Lyla. Soon enough. Lyla: You know, I thought God would do me a favor because I'm such a good girl. Isn't that the stupidest thing you've ever heard? Tim: It's not stupid... Lyla: Shut up, Tim. What's wrong with you? Jason is in the hospital, and you won't even go to see him. You can walk! You can walk on your two feet to get another glass of beer if that's what you want to do. Why don't you get it? You make me sick. Why won't you go see him? He's your best friend. He asks about you all the time. Why don't you help me? Why don't you got and see him? Tim: Don't ht me. Lyla: He's never gonna walk again. They kiss... TAYLOR'S HOUSE - Parents' room Tami: It's 3:00 in the morning. Where have you been? Eric: Practice. DILLON HOSPITAL - Jason's room Jason's mom: Where's Lyla? I thought she said she was gonna be here. All right, you ready? Nurse: You gotta shift your weight back... Lyla: Hey, sorry, I'm late. Jason's mom: Oh, there you are. I was just asking about you. Lyla: Hey. Jason: I'm real sorry about last night. Can we just pretend like it didn't happen? Lyla: Okay. Jason: You know I didn't mean any of it. I love you. Lyla: I love you too. Jason: Oh. Thanks, Pop. Nurse: You okay? Jason: Uh-huh. Nurse: Okay, Jason, we're sure gonna miss you around here. Jason: I'll miss you, too. Not the room, though. I'll come back and visit. PRACTISE Eric: Drive it up the field. Official. Downfield. Visual. Good hands and feet, boys. Good reaction. Matt: Hut! Eric: Do it again, do it again. No, no, no, step back here. That a boy. McGill: Never underestimate the power of a good spanking, Coach. Eric: Yes, sir. Buddy: Looking good out there, guys. Looking good. We got ourselves a quarterback, Coach. Nice speech, Coach. Did the job. Eric: Welcome aboard, son. Jack! Take care of this boy for me, would you? Let's go! What's everyone doing? What are you looking at? Let's go, pick it up! Let's go, let's go, let's go! (WHISTLE BLOWS) Keep your head up. Let's get back in it, boys. Come on, now! (WHISTLE blwing)	{"type": "series", "show": "Friday Night Lights", "episode": "01x03 - Wind Sprints"}	foreverdreaming
Paul: Coach Taylor's contract is up for discussion at the board meeting this Saturday. I love my job, I'm good at it, and I'd like to keep it. I love you. I just think we should break up. Matt: You're the only person who's never left me. I'm not gonna leave you. I'm gonna stay here for good. You're gonna go to college, and you're gonna go get a degree. Do you hear me? Yeah. They offered the job to Wade Aikmen. The board would like to offer you the position of head coach at East Dillon High. [On Radio] I'm Sammy Meade and folks let me tell you, the sky is dry... [Cut to Coach putting on his RED East Dillon Lions cap] Sammy Meade: ...the fields are brown, the drought is long and it has happened: this town has been divided. [EXT. Taylor house, morning.] ( Julie is giggling and holding Gracie Belle while Tami tries to comb the little girl's hair. Happy family scene. Eric exits the house carrying a baby blanket, hands it to Tami. ) Tami: Thanks, babe. (kisses him) Good luck. ( Eric kisses all his girls and heads to his car. ) Julie: I love you! [EXT. Matt Sarcen's house.] ( Matt gets into a station wagon that has a sign that reads "Panther Pizza" and he drives off. ) [EXT. Landry Clarke's house.] ( Landry goes to check his mailbox and there is a Dillon Panther's sign with his name on it in the front yard. He opens a letter notifying him that he's been transferred to East Dillon. He's confused and upset. ) [EXT. West Dillon Panthers Football Field] ( Gorgeous field, team hard at work, J.D.s dad, Joe, and new Coach Wade are driving around the field in a golf cart while Buddy tries to chase after them. They just drive faster. ) Buddy: Wade! Wade: Listen, Buddy, I know! [EXT. East Dillon Lions Football Field] ( Eric tries to get into the locker room. Graffiti on the outside walls, trashed field. Not good. The door is locked and he's frustrated and starts kicking it, trying to get it to open. ) Custodian: Hey! Que haciendo? Que haceindo, que tu? Eric: Sorry. Coach Taylor. Custodian: Que? Eric: Coach Taylor. Football team. Coach Taylor. I'm trying to... Custodian: What football team? Eric: I'm the new coach for the football team. Custodian: New football team? Eric: That's right. Custodian: Okay. Don't kick my door, por favor. ( Eric enters decrepit locker room and sits down in utter disbelief at the circumstances. He hears a noise and turns around, startled to see a Raccoon in a locker. ) Eric: (looking over at where the custodian is standing) You know there's a raccoon in here? [EXT. Neighborhood alley.] ( Young shirtless black male running down the alley with the police in pursuit and almost gets away when a police car cuts him off. ) Officers: Get down! Get down! On your stomach!! ( He begrudgingly does as ordered. ) [INT. East Dillon Locker Room] ( The potential team members are lining up to get weighed in by Coach and his assistant coach. ) Assistant Coach: Next! Come on, come on. Name? Calvin: Calvin. Eric: (to Calvin who is wearing a heavy gold necklace) Take the chain off. (Calvin ignores him) Hey, take the chain off. Calvin: (holding up the chain) You see this man? It's 18 Gs right here, dog. Eric: (Unimpressed) Take the chain off and you're going to call me Coach Taylor. ( Calvin takes the chain off. ) ( A boy approaches Landry in line to get weighed. ) Kenny: Hey, Landry, man. What's up? (Landry looks at him, uncertain who the guy is) Kenny. Olsen. From JV. Landry: Yeah... Assistant Coach: (to Calvin) What position do you want to play? Calvin: Quarterback. Kenny: (to Landry) What are position you going for? Landry: Oh, you know, uh... Kenny: I'm going for Quarterback. Assistant Coach: (to another player) What position do you want to play? 1st Player: Quarterback. 2nd Player: Quarterback. 3rd Player: Quarterback. 4th Player: I'm the quarterback. Eric: (to room) Alright, we've found our quarterback gentlemen. (applause) Step off. Next. [EXT. East Dillon Football field – Team practice] Granger: Let's go. Come on, let's run. Go! Come on. You don't run with your hands. All the way up. Granger: Put your foot in the hole and run on. All the way down. Granger: Let's go, ladies! Come on, let's go. Come on. Knees up, like this! Put your foot in the hole and you run on. All: One. Two. Three. (GROANS) (COUGHING) ( The team is exhausted after practice. ) Eric: Listen up! I called you all out here today to see what we've got. And after eighteen minutes, I think I've seen enough. (looks over exhausted team) I want you all to go home tonight and think long and hard on how much you want this, on whether you want this. If you don't, that's fine. There's no shame in that. I don't want you wasting my time and I don't want you wasting your time either. If you do want it, then be out here tomorrow morning at six a.m. and we'll get after it. But get your rest tonight, gentlemen. I promise you're gonna need that. [EXT. East Dillon Football Field] ( Eric is pushing a little, rickety cart around, chalking the field when a police car pulls up and we see the boy from the alley way earlier in the backseat. ) Detective: Hey, Coach. Ken Shaw, 12th precinct. Eric: Ken Shaw? Your brother used to play ball for me, didn't he? Ken: Sure did, Mike Shaw. Eric: That's right. Mike. Linebacker. Ken: That's right. Eric: How's he doing? Ken: He's doing pretty good. Speaks very highly of you. Eric: Yeah? Ken: Yeah. Eric: He ended up playing didn't he? Ken: He played for a couple of years but he, uh, got hurt so he had to step out. Eric: Tell him I said hello, would you? Ken: I will. Eric: (looks over at the boy) What you got here? Ken: Well, you've heard of cops and jocks, right? Eric: Yeah, second chance. Ken: Yeah, second chance program. Yeah, well, we just brought this kid in this morning. You know, he's a decent kid but he's got a record now. Next stop is juvie for him and that's a bad path. Eric: What kind of trouble you talking about? Ken: Minor stuff, nothing major. I'm talking about breaking and entering, fighting... Eric: Nothing major – he didn't kll anyone... Ken: No! Eric: Not animals... Ken: No, no. Like I said, these are mostly non-violent offenses. Eric: What do you mean ‘mostly'? Ken: You can help him out. (Eric thinks about this a bat) You wanna meet him? Eric: Well, since you've brought him all this way... I guess I should. Ken: I hope so, yeah. ( An officer escorts the boy to where Eric and Ken are talking. ) Eric: How you doin' son? (extends hand) Coach Taylor. Vince: Vince. Eric: Vince? Vince you've ever played any football? Vince: Yeah, all the time. Eric: Yeah? Vince: Madden. Eric: How's that? Vince: Madden. Eric: Madden? Vince: (pronouncing it) Mad. Den. Eric: (clearly no idea what that means) Madden? Vince: Madden. Ken: Video game, coach. Madden. Eric: Oh. Ken: Video game. Eric: Oh, Madden football. You ever play any real football? Vince: Threw the ball around with my friends. Eric: You like to run? Ken: Oh, the boy can run, coach, the boy's is fast. Real fast. Eric: You like to ht? Vince: ht what? Eric: People. Vince: Yeah, I like that. Eric: What would you say if I need you to be here tomorrow morning at six a.m. sharp. Six a.m. sharp means quarter to six. Vince: I'll be here. ( OPENING CREDITS. ) [INT. W. Dillon Panther's Coach's Conference Room] Joe: Buddy, you know those people. You can just get them to refile their papers can't you. Buddy: (shakes head and speaks softly) No... Wade: We can handle that... That's not such a big deal. Hell, we can fix that... (sees Tami entering and starts applauding) There we go, Tami Taylor. Tami: (annoyed) Not necessary. (Buddy's spirit is gone as if he can't believe what's going on) Thank you very much. Wade: (stands up) No, we need to acknowledge what a huge part you played in the redistricting. Because of it, our athletic program is already seeing the positive effects. Tami: Well, good, good. I hope y'all get everything you deserve this year. Wade: (not noticing her sarcastic tone) Thank you! Thank you for stepping up and doing the right thing. Tami: Good, good. Uh, alright, were we gonna talk about football? You all called me down here... Joe: Were your ears burning cuz we were just talking about you? Wade: Yup, yup, we were. Joe: Talking about Friday's festivities. Wade: Yes. We would love for you to do the coin toss this Friday. Tami: Uh, the coin toss? Isn't that Mayor Roddell's... doesn't she... Joe: Nah, we'll handle Lucy. I'll handle her. We want you, Tami. Tami: Oh. (force smile) Huh. Joe: We think that it's very important that all of us show that we are all in this together. ( Buddy is rubbing his head in an ‘Oh my God, this cannot seriously be happening' way. ) Joe: So, it would be an honor and it would mean a lot to us and we're thinking that maybe you should call ‘Heads.' (Tami looks around the room to see if Joe is serious or not when he starts laughing) We're just kidding you! You can call whatever you want! (Wade starts laughing, too) You can call whatever you want in the coin toss. Tami: Okay. Well, I'm honored. Thank you. Wade: Make sure you think about it. Tami: Okay, I'm thinking about it. [INT. College Classroom] ( Tim is lounging on his desk, trying to pay attention as the instructor lectures. On the chalkboard is written ‘Homer.' ) Professor: Your thoughts are my thoughts. My daughter should be yours and you my sons... Every hero has a journey. Early literature is obsessed with that... A process to help him appreciate his life... his love, Penelope, the life he left... ( Suddenly Tim's interest is sparked and he is inspired. He starts gathering his things and walks out of class. Driving home in his truck, he throws his books out the window, looking more relaxed as the drive continues. ) [EXT. E. Dillon Football Field] ( Another shoddy looking practice. ) Assistant Coach: Come on now! Look alive, look alive! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's awful! Get'em in a huddle, right now. Eric: (directing his own team players) You gotta clip your hips, right. Push'em up. Assistant Coach: (with his players) Put your hands on your knees. Alright, this is called a huddle. You gotta understand what a huddle is. (taps a guy on the shoulder) This is your quarterback right here. He's gonna tell y'all what to do. Calvin: Just hand us the rock (slang for football), man, for real. It's boring as hell, man. Assistant Coach: You can have the ball when you can actually run a play. (players chuckle) Alright, knock it off. It's called a huddle. Calvin: (grabs the football) It's called a rock and it looks like I got it now. Assistant Coach: You think that's funny? Calvin: Nah, I'm just joking man. ( Calvin tosses the football at the Asst. Coach and hits him in the nose, causing it to start bleeding. The Asst. Coach starts screaming in pain. ) Calvin: Ah, man. My bad. Hey man, I was just kidding. Hey somebody, get somebody! I'm sorry, Coach. ( Eric runs over to see what's going on as the Asst. Coach holds his bloody nose and walks off the field. ) Assistant Coach: I'm done! Eric: What's wrong? Assistant Coach: (knocks the football out of Eric's hand) I'm done! Eric: Where you going? Coach! Where you going? ( The team looks on, shocked, as Coach looks pissed and confused. ) [INT. Dillon Tech Art Class] ( On a table are charcoal drawings of nude figures, etc. ) Teacher: So, is your focus in metal works or electronics? Matt: My focus is in art. Teacher: What kind of art are you interested in, Matt? Matt: (confused by the question) Uh, I don't know. The kind that I do, I guess. Teacher: Well, that's the thing, Matt. I don't know that I would quite call this art. Matt: Well, what would you call it? Teacher: I would call it drawing without a point of view. It's not that I don't like it but it's not saying anything. Matt: (defensively) Well, they thought it was saying something at the Art Institute of Chicago when they accepted me. And that's a much better art school than Dillon Tech. Teacher: Then why are you here at Dillon Tech? ( And there's the big question. ) [INT. Billy and Mindy Riggins' Home] ( Mindy, Billy and Tim are having dinner in the dining room. This is no longer the party pad of Billy and Tim. This house has a woman's touch – Mindy's. Mindy and Tim are seated at opposite ends of the table with Billy in the middle. ) Mindy: Hey kiddo, so do you have a plan or something? Tim: What do you mean? Mindy: For life. Tim: For life? Mindy: To do... Tim: Riggins Riggs. Mindy: That's your plan? Tim: (taking a drink of beer) Mm..mm. ( Billy isn't saying a word, just keeping his head down and focusing on his food. ) Mindy: Awesome. So, where you gonna stay? Tim: What do you mean? Mindy: Live? Tim: Billy, tater me. Mindy: Live – in Dillon. Tim: I'm gonna stay right here. Mindy: Here? Tim: Yeah. Mindy: Yeah, that's great. (looking all doe eyed at Billy) Hey baby, can I talk to you for a second? Over here. (she gets up from the table, big fake smile on her face) Alright. ( Billy complies but there is dread on his face. ) Tim: (on food) So good. Mindy: Yeah, it's real good. [INT. W. Dillon High School] ( Tami is walking down the halls. ) Tami: (to various people at gathering for school meeting) How are you? Good to see you. Thanks for coming. How's your dad? ( In the corner, Eric chats up his old assistant coaches. ) Eric: Gentlemen, how you doing? Assistant Coach: Same old, you? Eric: How you doing? Alright? Eric: (looks around first and whispers) I hear Wade's got himself a golf cart out there, is that the case? Mac: The man loves his ride. Assistant Coach: We move the ball 15 yards down field, he drives to the next huddle. Eric: (alluding to E. Dillon) Why don't you all come on over? Why dontcha all come over? ( The Asst. Coaches all exchange looks but no one's speaking up. ) Mac: That'd be nice but I don't think I could explain it to Susan, you know. Job security and all that stuff. Eric: Right. Mac: Not young enough to take the pay cut and all those chances, you know. Eric: (nice but sad) Alright. Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Principal Taylor. ( Tami goes up to a podium. ) Tami: Hey everybody. Nice to see y'all. Thanks for coming out. I'm just thrilled to welcome everybody to another great year at Dillon High. And before I get going with the events tonight I really just want to say thank you... Parent 1: I have a question. Tami: Um, we're gonna have a Q&A at the end so... Parent 1: (ignores her) Why is my child being forced from this school? Tami: Nobody is being forced... Parent 2: That's exactly what happened! Tami: No, I'm sorry... Now nobody is being forced... Teen: I don't want to go to a different school! Parent 1: That's right! Tami: First of all, I'd like to just clarify, we are going to have a Q&A at the... Parent 3: My parents went to this school before you ever even heard of Dillon High. Parent 2: Yeah, exactly! Tami: We'll take up this issue in a moment but we can't all talk over each other. Parent 3: I'm not sending my child to that hell hole with that element...! Tami: Alright, first of all, let's not refer to East Dillon in this way. I do not tolerate... Parent 1: Would you say the two schools are equal? Tami: Yes, I would. Parent 1: Would you send your child to that school? Tami: I would. She was has been zoned for West Dillon and she is going to West Dillon. However, I do look at the two schools equally... Parent 3: We know what that means...! Parent 1: Why should my kid go if your child's not going? Parent 2: You should send her there! Tami: It's impossible to get anything accomplished this way, y'all. ( A lot of angry parents and yelling so cannot decipher anymore but I think that was the point. Tami is just standing there, forced to take the asault while Eric and Julie sit in the cafeteria taking it all in. Meanwhile, Joe is sitting there smugly laughing. ) [INT. SEARS Dept. Store – Repairs] ( Eric walks in with a dated piece of equipment – maybe a VCR or editing equipment. The Sears employee's nametag reads "STAN" ) Eric: Hey, how you doin' today? Stan: Whoa, haven't seen one of these in awhile. Eric: Yeah, something's wrong with it and gotta get it repaired if that's alright. Stan: I won't do it. Eric: (dumbfounded) What? Stan: Sir, it's garbage. It's garbage now and it was garbage back in 1992. It clearly wasn't purchased here. (Eric is shocked) If you think I'm gonna let the finest high school football coach in the state of Texas walk out that door with a box of garbage you do not know me. Eric: You got a manager around here I can talk to? Stan: Stan Traub and I'm a great admirer Coach Taylor. Eric: (shakes hands) Well, thank you Stan. Traub? How do I know that name? Stan: Nobeck County. Pop Warner Coach of the Year 2005. Second Place finisher 2006, 7 and 8. Eric: Nu-uh. Stan: I also faxed six or seven of my resumes to you at East Dillon. I left you a couple of messages on your voicemail. Eric: (takes a wary step back) Oh, yeah, that's it. Yeah. Stan: I know how you can handle South King next Friday. Eric: How's that? Stan: You run that spread but that QB's gonna freeze up on you if you blitz with... Eric: You got a repair guy around here, Stan? Stan: I can help Coach. Eric: I just need to get this... Stan: Coach Taylor. I got you covered. Now, I'm the real deal. I'm good. I'm cheap. I'm volunteer cheap. You will not regret this. ( Eric just stands there and stares at him, uncertain but not protesting either. ) [INT. Matt's car during his delivery route.] Julie: So, I think it'll be fun. Matt: But it's a panther party. Julie: It's not a panther party. Matt: Julie, Beth is a cheerleader, Friday is the first game, I think we can acquiesce to the fact that it's a panther party. Julie: Devon's going to be there and Landry's going to be there... It's like a kick-back. ( Matt sht her a ‘gimme a break' look. ) Julie: Fine. Let's stay in and we'll watch The Deadliest Catch marathon... Oh, look! We can get pizza after your shift and eat leftover pizza. Matt: Okay, fine, we'll go. (pulls into the driveway of the McCoy Mansion) I have to deliver a pizza right now. ( Matt walks up long steps and J.D. McCoy answers the door. ) J.D.: Hey, Matt. Matt: Hey. Here are your pizzas. J.D.: (waves to Julie who waves back) So, so do you like make your girlfriend deliver pizza with you all the time? Matt: No. Um, $18.75. J.D.: (pulling money out of his wallet) Kinda sucks you didn't go to Chicago like you were supposed to. Matt: Yeah... J.D.: I was totally going to go for Julie this year. ( Matt gives him a subtle ‘fck you' look. ) J.D.: I'm just kidding. Hey, weren't these supposed to have those cinnamon sticks? Matt: Nope. (turns and walks away) Thanks for the tip. [EXT. E. Dillon Football Field] ( Practice. Stan's there but he's wearing his Sears shirt. ) Eric: Let's go! Hustle up! ( Run play that goes awry. ) Eric: Hey! What are you doing? What are you doing? Stan: What are you doing? Eric: What hole are you supposed to be going through? What was that 24-power? Vince: Four. Eric: The four hole? Then go through the four hole. Stan: The four hole! Eric: Come on, now. ( Run another play. ) Eric: What are you doing now? What a second! What are you doing? (walks up to Vince and quieter now) Vince, what are you doing? Vince: I'm moving closer! Eric: You're klling me here. Vince: What? Eric: You're moving closer and adjust your stance... Vince: (interrupting) I moved closer! Eric: Don't talk back to me! Those fellas in the little stripped uniforms, they're gonna throw those little flags and how many yards is that gonna be? Vince: Five yards. Eric: That's right. It's gonna be five yards. Here's what you're gonna want to do: this right over here. This is the four hole and you'll go through the four hole and once you get through there you're gonna keep going downhill don't you? Vince: Yes, sir. Eric: Come on! Let's go! ( Run another play only this time it goes according to plan and Vince scores a touchdown. ) Eric: gddmn, I did not expect that. Stan: I cannot believe what I just witnessed. That's genius, Coach. This is exactly why I am here. I'm serious. I got goose-bumps. Eric: That's good. (walks to the players) Hey Vince, that was damn nice. Damn nice. (to others) What do we got next? [EXT. House, pool party.] ( Devon and Landry are sitting at a nearby table talking. ) Landry: You're going? Devon: So pretty rough over at East Dillon? Landry: It's rough, to say the least. I'm constantly, like ready. I got a piece on me at all times. ( She laughs. ) [Cut with Julie entering the party.] J.D.: Julie Taylor! Julie: Hey, J.D. J.D.: So where's pizza man? Julie: Um, he's gonna meet me later. J.D.: Oh. Devon: My mom said she'd die before she'd send me there. Landry: So, like, she would literally end her life? Devon: Hunger strike probably. J.D.: Hey, you know Luke? ( Luke appears. It's clear that J.D. is drunk and not a pleasant one. ) Luke: Hey. Julie: Yeah, hi. Luke: You gonna come watch me make history on Friday night? Julie: Um, actually I'm gonna go see the Lions play. J.D.: I have news for you. Your dad's coaching a team that's not gonna have one ‘W' all season. ( Julie gives him a tight smile just like her momma. ) J.D.: But, I'm liking your chances, Julie Taylor. ( He runs his hand over her hair. ) Luke: Alright, hey, hey. (pulls J.D. back) He's been kicking a few back. J.D.: You know, your dad could still be coaching for Dillon. My dad gave your dad a sht. Julie: Yeah? J.D.: Mm...hmm. ( In the background we see Matt has arrived. ) Julie: Well, your dad's an ass. J.D.: Okay, so now I gotta throw you in the pool. ( J.D. picks up Julie and heads to the pool. ) Julie: Stop it. Luke: (lamely) Hey, J.D. Julie: STOP IT! Matt: What? Hey!! Julie: Stop it!! J.D.: Gonna throw you in the pool. ( Her screams get the attention of others and Landry stands up as Matt rushes to help Julie. ) Matt: (taking hold of Julie) What are you doing? What the hell's the matter with you? Get off her. Don't ever put your damn hands on my girlfriend, okay? J.D.: What's your problem, Saracen? ( Matt shoves him. ) Matt: Shut the hell up! Julie: Matt! ( Matt and J.D. fight while Julie shouts for them to stop. Landry and Luke break it up. ) Matt: What, Landry? Julie: Matt! Landry: What are you doing? J.D.: Coach should never have taken me out of the game, Saracen. He just felt sorry for you is all. You suck! Landry: (to J.D.) Just shut up. J.D.: Listen to me, Saracen. You suck! Matt: (maybe words too close to home turns to Julie as he walks away) I'm really glad this wasn't a panther party. J.D.: It's MY Dillon now! Julie: Matt... [INT. Riggins' Residence – nursery] ( Tim and Billy are painting the nursery. ) Tim: Okay Billy, I gotta be honest with you. This is kind of gross. I mean, whatever happened to just pink or blue? Boy or girl? Billy: Mindy doesn't want to know if it's a boy or girl so that's why we use neutral tones. Tim: Which is puke in this case? Billy: It's ‘mustard', Jackass. Tim: Billy, if I threw up on this wall you wouldn't even know it cuz this colors puke. Billy: It's mustard. Tim: Agree to disagree. Billy: Seriously, do you have a problem with it? Tim: (grins) Whatever. Billy: Whatever? ( Billy shoves Tim. ) Tim: Billy, watch yourself. Billy: Shut your mouth. Tim: Watch yourself. Billy: Or what? What are you gonna do? Huh? ( Billy shoves Tim so hard he falls back. They fight. ) Tim: Billy, what the hell? Billy: You come into my house and act like this? Tim: Get off of me! (shoves Billy off) What the hell was that? I made joke. Billy: It's not a freaking joke! You're throwing away your whole life, man! I busted my ass for eight years to try and put you through college and you can't even make it through September! Tim: You and Lyla wanted me to go to college. I never said once that I wanted to go to college. Billy: What are you going to do? I don't know what you're thinking sometimes. You think you're gonna waltz back in here and everything's going to be okay? I got a wife, Tim. I'm about to be a dad. There's no room for you here. Tim: Guess you're right. You know what Billy? All I wanted to do was come home. ( Tim leaves. ) [INT. W. Dillon High Hallway] ( Tami is walking with someone from the school administration and a uniformed officer or security guard. ) Tami: I don't like that we have to do this. Admin: There are nine students here that have been notified about their transfer and are refusing to change schools. What choice do we have? ( Tami knocks on a classroom door. ) Tami: Ms. Cody? I'm sorry to interrupt y'all. Um, Devon honey, I'm gonna need you to come with me. Devon: Should I bring all my stuff? Tami: That'd be good. ( Classroom and Julie watch as Devon gets up to leave. ) Tami: Thank you ( Julie gets up and looks down hallway as they walk away. ) [EXT. Saracen home.] ( Landry and Matt are throwing the football through a spare tire. ) Landry: Pull the slot machine and elbow the midget in the face. You understand though, I'm always going to be a panther in my heart. Matt: Landry, who cares? Panthers are a bunch of idiots this year anyway. Landry: Yeah but they're a bunch of talented, fast idiots. And we're just a bunch of sucky idiots. Matt: Alright, so look: in the panther's, you're a scrub right? But on the Lions, you might actually get to play in some games. You might even start! Landry: So you're trying to encourage me by saying that the lions are bad enough that someone as bad as me might actually see some playing time? Matt: Yeah, basically. ( Grandma comes out of the house. ) Grandma: Matthew? Matt: Yes, grandma. Grandma: Matthew why aren't you throwing the ball? You know you got a game on Friday night and Coach Taylor's gonna expect you to be ready, son. Matt: Grandma, remember, I'm not on the team anymore. And coach isn't either. Grandma: (laughs) Yeah, that'll be the day. I adore you. Coach Taylor not a panther. (she turns to leave but stops, looking at Landry) Landry? Landry: Huh? Grandma: Stop throwing the ball, you look like a girl. Landry: Okay, I'm gonna throw one more. ( Landry throws a mock pose. ) Grandma: No! You look like a girl. You're just a funny looking creature there. Landry: It's good seeing you. (waits until she's gone before looking at Matt) She seems to be doing well. Matt: (ignoring) Do you think it's a bad sign that Julie ain't call me back yet? Landry: Probably not a good sign. You did kinda look like a jackass at the party the other night. Matt: But J.D. is a chump! He's pretentious, he's... Landry: Aren't you supposed to rise above that? Aren't you supposed to turn the other cheek? In your typical Matt Saracen kind of way. Matt: Yeah. Landry: Take the high road. Matt: Right. Take the high road. That's what Matt always does. Landry: Get behind me Satan... ( Matt throws the football into the tire. ) [INT. Bar] ( Tim is at the bar drinking when the hot, older woman bartender chats him up. ) Bartender: Dog? Tim: Brother. ( She pours him a sht. ) Bartender: Bottoms up. ( They each take a sht. ) Bartender: What's your name? ( Tim gives her a look like he knows exactly how this will play out. ) [EXT. E. Dillon Football Field] ( Team is huddled as Coach talks. ) Eric: Olan, you need to tighten up your splints. We're going to be running the ball, we're going to be playing defense. Stan: Defense! Eric: (doing his best to tolerate and ignore Stan) You need to figure out why it is you're out here... ( As Coach is talking, at the back of the gathering is Calvin and Landry. ) Calvin: This dude can talk, man. Feel like I'm listening to an informerical. ( Landry sht him a ‘shut up' look so Calvin redirects his attention to him. ) Calvin: (scrutinizing Landry) You're a funny looking dude, man. Kinda look like Opie, you know? Let's understand (he sprays Landry with his water bottle) Maybe if I shine you up... Landry: Do you really need like a toy or something to pay attention? Will you please just shut up and listen to him...? ( Calvin jumps on Landry and a fight ensues. The rest of the team is now focused on the fight shouting, "Fight! Fight!" The other coaches try to break it up and Coach just stands there, seething with anger. ) [INT. E. Dillon Locker Room] ( Team is waiting for coach and there is tension in the air as Calvin is shting Landry dirty looks. Door slams and coach enters ) Eric: Cowards! Cowards! That's what you all look like. A bunch of cowards. You all look like a bunch of dumb asses out there. You don't fight on my field! Y'all want to fight? Go ahead and fight but not on my field and not in my colors. You got me? Is that understood? Team: Yes, sir. Eric: You don't fight in my house! Let me tell you something else, there's no talking back on the field. There's no wearing earrings. There's no jewelry. There's no damn necklaces out there! There's no talking to each other. There's you shutting up and there's me talking! (looks at Calvin and Landry) You two. You two are gonna make it right, right now! Make it right, right now. Landry: (stands up right away) I apologize. Okay? Calvin: (gives Landry a scrutinizing look) Screw you, Rudy. Eric: (gets up in Calvin's face) You get your stuff and get out of here! You get your stuff and get out of here right now! Get it right now and get the hell out of my house! Get the hell out of my house! Go! Go! Pack it up and get out! ( Calvin shts him a dirty look and walks off. ) Eric: (to team) If there's anyone else in here who doesn't want to be here, get out right now! ( A player leaves. ) Eric: Get the hell out of my house if you don't want to be here! (more players leave) Get out now! You don't want to be here, then leave! ( The other Asst. Coaches remain quietly watching. ) Eric: Anyone else? Player: No sir. Eric: Anybody else? Team: No sir. Eric: (walks up to Vince) We're good? Vince: I wanna play coach. I wanna play. [INT. Bedroom] ( We see two bodies tangled up in bed as we hear a girl's voice singing "The Star Spangled Banner." ) Girl: Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light. What so proudly we hail at the twilight's last gleaming..." ( At hearing the singing, Tim jumps out of bed (dressed in black boxer briefs and showing off a very chiseled body) before pulling on his clothes. He sneaks down the hall as the girl continues singing. ) Girl: Whose bright stripes and bright stars... ( He enters the kitchen and we find a girl singing into a tape recorder. She stops singing when she spots him looking very uncomfortable as he pulls on his shoes. ) Girl: Aren't you Tim Riggins? ( He does his best to ignore her while buttoning up his pants. ) Girl: Panthers Tim Riggins? I know you hear me talking to you. Tim: Yeah. Girl: I wonder if my mom knows she slept with you? Well, I mean, duh, she knows she slept with you but it was dark, maybe she didn't realize it was Tim Riggins. So, um, is she alive back there? Tim: She's alive. Girl: Is she going to be in any condition to drive anytime soon? Yeah, see, that's what I thought. Look, whatever you did to her, way to go #33, but I need a ride to school. [EXT. Neighborhood street.] ( The girl from earlier is sitting in behind the wheel of Tim's truck as he works on the engine. ) Tim: Okay, try it again. ( Girl tries but engine won't turn over. ) Tim: Okay. Girl: Your truck always break down? Tim: Sometimes. Girl: Why don't you get a new truck? (he rolls his eyes but she can't see him) So did you hear me singing this morning? Sounded pretty good, huh? ( He's still ignoring her. ) Girl: Kinda wants to make you want to stand up, put your hand over your heart... Tim: Yeah, like Faith Hill. Girl: For real? I love her! I could sing for you if you wanted to. Tim: Try it again. ( Truck still won't start. ) Tim: Okay. Girl: So what's it like being the guy who used to be Tim Riggins? Tim: I'm still Tim Riggins. Girl: Yeah, but, you know what I mean though. You're all center of the universe in Texas one year and then the next, boom, fall off a cliff. Tim: Yeah, you know, I haven't really thought about it. Girl: So what do you do with yourself now? Tim: How far is your school from here? Girl: Not far... why? Tim: You gonna need to walk. ( Girl rolls her eyes and grabs her stuff, exiting the truck. ) Girl: Well, guys don't usually do repeat performances with my mom so I guess I won't be seeing you again. Tim: Okay. Girl: Good luck, Tim Riggins. I hope you find what you're looking for. [INT. E. Dillon Athletic Office] ( Eric and Stan are in his office going through the roster. ) Eric: There's only eighteen here. Stan: Yeah, well, I guess a few more of them decided to take you up on your offer to have them leave. That was a risky move. That might not have paid off. Eric: I really wish you'd learn to filter your thoughts a little better. That'd be really helpful. Stan: Filter my thoughts. Eric: Malcolm left, too? Stan: Malcolm left, too. Yeah. Malcolm left too. Eric: Alright, here's what we're going to do. We're going to line up the power Iowa and perfect the five and the six... Stan: Perfect the five and the six. Eric: We're going to power the ball down the field and keep the ball away from South King... Stan: We're going to power the ball down the field and keep the ball... Eric: (slams hand on desk) You need to stop doing that. You need to stop repeating everything I say! Stan: Yeah. Eric: It's freaking me out. ( Door opens up and one of the Asst. Coaches from W. Dillon Panthers appears. ) Assistant Coach: You know we got no chance to win this game. Eric: What in the hell you doing here? Assistant Coach: I came to coach them up. Eric: Not with that hat on you're not. Assistant Coach: You got another one? ( Eric takes his off his own head and throws it at him. ) Eric: It's the last one I got. We're out of money. Assistant Coach: (putting on the other hat) S'right. [GAME NIGHT] ( shts of a some businesses supporting Lions, some supporting Panthers. ) Sammy Meade (on radio): Folks, it is here. D-Day. Not one, but two football games in our little town. Will redistricting destroy Dillon football as we know it...? [INT. Taylor Kitchen] ( Eric is getting coffee as Tami exits another room. ) Tami: It smells funny in there... ( Tami enters the kitchen carrying her coffee mug. ) Eric: Hey. Tami: (indicating coffee) Can I have a little bit of that? Eric: (pouring her some coffee) You look nice. Tami: Thank you. Eric: We need some more cream. Tami: Okay, I'll try to get that this weekend. ( She turns around, showing him the back of her dress. ) Tami: Can you... Do you see that hook back there? Can you just get that hook for me right there? (Eric starts hooking her dress) Thank you. I can't believe I'm going to miss your game tonight. It's the first game of our entire relationship... ( They start talking over each other. ) Eric: This'll be a good one for you to miss. Tami: ...that I'm going to miss. I'm sad about it. Eric: Yes, sweetie but you get to flip the coin... Tami: Aren't you sad about it? Eric: ...and that's a very critical role you have. Tami: You a little stressed out about it? Eric: No. Tami: Don't be brave. Eric: Nah, nothing to be stressed out. (finishes with her dress) There you go, I gotcha. Tami: See, you know what I'm going to do? Eric: What's that? Tami: I'm gonna flip my coin and then I'm gonna sneak out... Eric: Mm...hmm... ( Eric moves in closer to her and they mumble between kisses. ) Tami: And I'm gonna come over to East Dillon Eric: Mm...hmm... Tami: I'm gonna watch y'all get your 'W's. Eric: Flip the coin. ( Eric and Tami get affectionate. ) Julie: Okay...(entering the room and watching the scene) gross, gross, gross... Eric: Hey, sweetie, how you doing? Tami: Hi honey. ( Julie goes to the refrigerator. ) Tami: Are you ready for school? Julie: I, uh, I think I am going to go to east Dillon this year. Tami: What? ( The parents are stunned. ) Julie: Well, uh, Devon goes there and Landry goes there and all my other friends have graduated though, I think that's a really good move for me. (They just stare at her) You keep saying that East Dillon is just as good as West Dillon. And I just think that it would be beneficial for our family if I went to East Dillon. ( Tami and Eric are at a loss for words - how can they argue this? ) Julie: Alright good. It's decided. ( Julie leaves. ) Eric: (whispers to Tami) Say something. Tami: (finally finding her voice starts trailing after Julie) No. No! [EXT. E. Dillon Football Field] ( Crew is setting up the signage. ) [INT. E. Dillon Locker Room] ( The team is nervous as they await their first game. Legs bouncing up and down, nervous expressions, etc. ) Player: (singing to himself) I'm going on my bttlefield for my wr. And I promise him that I - I will serve him ‘til I die. I'm going on the bttlefield for my wr... Assistant Coach: Here we go. Take a knee. Eric: How we doing on time? We're good. Assistant Coach: We're good. Eric: Alright, everybody got what they need? Team: Yes, sir. Eric: Everybody squared away with the equipment? Team: Yes, sir. Eric: Alright, listen up now. A few of you've been here before. A few of you have not. One thing we've all got to do tonight is we've got to focus. The game plan. The fundamentals gentlemen. Moving the sticks. That's what we're going to be out there doing. And listen fellas, there's a joy to this game – is there not? Team: Yes, sir! Eric: There's a passion and a pleasure to this game. There's a reason why we're all out here. Other than the fact that the pride it gives us. And the respect that it demands, we love to play the game. So let's go out there and let's have fun tonight. Do you understand me? Team: Yes, sir. Eric: Because tomorrow, if you give 100% of yourself tonight people are gonna look at you differently. People are gonna think of you differently. And I promise you, you're gonna look and think differently about yourselves. Clear eyes, full hearts... Landry: Can't lose. Eric: Clear eyes, full hearts... Players: Can't lose. Eric: Let's hear it gentlemen. Clear eyes, full hearts... Team: Can't lose! Eric: Let's go play some football. Let's go! ( The team rushes out pumped to play. ) Eric: Let's go play some football! Let's go, let's go! [EXT. W. Dillon Panthers] ( Crowd is pumped up waving blue and yellow. The place is packed and energetic. ) Sammy Meade (on radio): Opening night here in Panther Stadium and I'll tell you this crowd is pumped up! [EXT. E. Dillon Lions] ( Quieter, a few in the crowd but mostly the stands are empty as the girl whose mom Tim slept with is singing the National Anthem. ) Girl: (singing) Oh, say does that star spangled banner wave... for the land of the free... Stan: Free!! ( Coach sh*t him a look. ) Girl: (singing) and the home of the brave! [EXT. W. Dillon] Wade: (in a huddle with his team) We've got four quarters to play your hearts out boys! Do you understand that? Team: Yes! Wade: Go Panthers! Go deep! Wade: (to Tami as she heads to make the coin toss) We win the toss we want to go D. Tami: Go D. Wade: That means we're kicking off so we want to go D. Tami: Alright. ( Tami approaches the middle of the field with the ref and three members of both teams. J.D. is leading the Panthers, the football players have hands clutched as is tradition. ) Wade: (his voice in the background) Defense! We're kicking off! Tami: Let's go boys. Wade: (shouting the background) Tami! We like heads! Tami!! We like heads! ( She smiles and keeps walking. ) Tami: (to Ref) How you doing? Tami Taylor. Nice to meet you. Ref: (to players) Gentlemen, shake hands, introduce yourselves. ( Players do as told. ) Tami: (to visiting football players) Welcome. Nice to meet you. Welcome. Ref: Principal Taylor, as honorary captain, she's gonna call the toss. We have heads and we have tails, what are you gonna call? Tami: Tails. Ref: (tosses coin) The call is tails. (catches coin) Tails it is. ( J.D. is smugly thrilled. ) Ref: Your choice. Tami: Um, we will take the ball. Offense. Wade: (off in the distance) What'd she say? Tami: Have a great game. J.D.: (shocked) We wanted defense. Ref: Gentlemen, please step around, look right here. Wade: What she'd say? What she'd say? ( Joe McCoy is in the stands looking puzzled and stunned. ) J.D.: Offense! Wade: Offense? Tami: (smiling) You all have a great game now. ( She smiles as she walks off the field. ) Wade: Change of plans! Change of plans! Listen up!!! ( In the stands, Joe McCoy just has this look on his face knowing just why Tami did what she did. ) [EXT. E. Dillon Football Game] Announcer: And here we go folks. Oh, it's a long high beautiful kick and East Dillon football is back. Vince Howard to the goal line. Finds a lane to the outside. Eric: Run it! Run it! Stan: Come on! Announcer: Oh my. This kid can go. He is fast. Brutal ht. Vince Howard is down. Oh my, I can't believe this kid is getting up. Olsen: Twenty-four power. Eric: Hey, keep your focus. Keep your focus. Get them out there. Stan: Kick butt, gentlemen. Let's go, let's go! ( Team in huddle. ) Olsen: Twenty-four power on one. Twenty-four power on one. Ready? Team: Break! Announcer: This it is folks. Olsen bringing the Lions to the line. Olsen: Ready, set, down! Announcer: There's the snap. (he throws it between Olsen's legs and the football tumbles to the ground) Oh, my, I think that went right through his legs. Eric: What are you doing? Announcer: Fumble! First play from scrimmage and we are not off to a pretty start here in East Dillon. Eric: Come on now! Announcer: Olsen opens left. Quick toss to Howard, trying to go on the outside, he's got nowhere to go. Oh, my. Eric: Don't gimme that! Announcer: Vince Howard gets drilled to the backfield. He got dessimated on that play, folks. ( The team is struggling and arguing. ) Vince: You're too slow. tnk: I am blocking... Olsen: Shut up! Barracuda right twist! Player: What? Player: That's not the play. Olsen: Yeah, it is. Player: No, it's not. Landry: It's Oklahoma right twist. Olsen: Oklahoma right. Ready! Announcer: Olsen back to pass. Pressure coming. Olsen goes down hard. Eric: What is that? Stan: What is that? Eric: What is that?! Come on, open your eyes! Announcer: South King on the speed sweep. He's got the outside. Fantastic blocking. He could go folks! Oh, my, here we go! Touchdown South King. Eric: Someone get him off the field! Get him off the field! Announcer: Late in the second quarter. South King back to pass. Got a man. Reservations for six. Another South King touchdown. ( Lions in huddle. ) Olsen: Come on guys, get in here. Get in tight. Vince: Let's go guys. Olsen: It's twenty-eight bounce. Twenty-eight bounce. tnk: I can't even feel my arms. Player: So what, I'm... Olsen: Landry, twenty eight bounce. Landry: I heard you. I got it. Vince: Ready? Team: Break! Anouncer: Olsen back to pass. They need something here, folks. Across the middle, oh a kick back by South King. (A Lions pass is caught by South King and moans everywhere.) He's gotta lane to the outside. Howard's got an angle. Oh my, Vince Howard is cracked at the forty. Another South King touchdown. ( Game is just getting worse and worse. Eric sees his team getting klled out there and can't do a damn thing about it. ) ( HALF-TIME on the clock. ) Stadium Announcer: Coach Taylor is known for his remarkable half-time adjustments but I don't know if there is an adjustment to this. This is as bad as anything I have ever seen on a football field. [INT. E. Dillon Locker Room] ( The team is a mess. Injuries everywhere. ) Assistant Coach: Can you flex it for me? Outside? Vince: Mmm... Assistant Coach: Okay, relax. Vince: I can't stop. Assistant Coach: Easy, just relax. Vince: I can't stop my feet from twitching. ( Eric enters and all eyes fly to him. ) Assistant Coach: He didn't break it but he's got a hell of a high ankle sprain. Vince: (looking at Asst. Coach) Tell him, tell him I can still go. Assistant Coach: (reluctant) Alright, we'll tape it and see. Vince: I can still play... I can still play... Eric: I hear you. I hear you. Eric (to another player): What'd we got? Stan: He's gonna need stitches. Eric: (to large player) tnk, how are you doing? t*nk: Solid. ( This gives Eric a small proud smile before he turns to Landry. ) Eric: Y'alright? (Landry nods when he notices some injury inside his mouth - a tooth maybe) What'd you got? Landry: Nothing just... Eric: (sticks his finger in Landry's mouth) This hurt? Landry: Aiyee! (Eric pulls his finger out) I think it's alright. ( Music: Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing by Sufjan Stevens ) [EXT. Football Field] ( Eric, looking visibly upset and conflicted walks under the bleachers and we see Tami has arrived. She watches as he approaches one of the refs. Coach is shaken by this but it needs to be done. ) Ref: Hey coach, we've still got a few more minutes. You've got a few more minutes. Eric: (quietly) We gotta call the game. Ref: You what? Eric: I said we gotta call the game. Ref: Coach, are you sure...? Eric: Yeah, I gotta call the damn game. Ref: Just like that? Eric: What do you want - a dissertation or something? Ref (sympathetically): Coach, I understand your upset... Eric: Fine, Harvey. We would like to forfeit the game. How does that sound? Is that what you want to hear? Ref: Okay, fine. (nods and walks onto the field to make announcement) Game is over. Dillon has forfeited. South King has won. ( Boos from the crowd – what little there is – and we see Tami arrived in time to watch Coach walking off the field. ) Man: Get him out of here! Get him out of here!	{"type": "series", "show": "Friday Night Lights", "episode": "04x01 - East of Dillon"}	foreverdreaming
Sammy: Folks, let me tell you, the sky is dry, the fields are brown. This town has been divided. We need to acknowledge the huge part you played in this redistricting. We just brought this kid in this morning. Next stop is juvie for him, and that's a bad path. If I need you to be here tomorrow morning at 6:00 A.M? I'll be here. So, what's it like being the guy who used to be Tim Riggins? Tim: I'm still Tim Riggins. Yeah, but you know what I mean, though. You're all the center of the universe in Texas one year and the next, boom, you fall off a cliff. Announcer: This is as bad as anything I have ever seen on a football field. The game is over. Dillon has forfeited. ( Crowd booing ) [EXT. ] ( A solitary truck parked in the open and we cut to see Tim Riggins asleep in the bed. A sheriff approaches, surveying the situation to find Tim asleep. ) Sheriff: Hey, wake up! (bangs on truck) Come on, get up. You can't be here. This is private property. ( Tim rouses awake. ) Sheriff: Hey, aren't you... aren't you Tim Riggins? Tim: Yes sir. Sheriff: Hey now, you are going to have to get yourself together and get out of here. You can't be here. Tim: Okay. [INT. Taylor House - Eric and Tami's Bedroom] ( Coach asleep alone in bed. ) Gracie (from another room): ...in here! ( This wakes him up with a start. ) Gracie: No, more! No, in here! Matt: She's gotta eat or she'll be mad. Julie: Look she's got a little belly. Matt: She doesn't know how... Julie: It's okay. ( Coach gets up and heads to the kitchen and we see Matt, Julie and Gracie at the counter. ) Matt: Hey, coach. Eric: Hey. Morning, Gracie Belle. Morning. ( Pours himself a cup of coffee. ) Julie: We made coffee. Eric: Did you bring the paper in yet? ( Matt and Julie look nervous. ) Matt: (standing up) I'll go get it. Eric: I'll get it... Matt: No, no, no... I'll Eric: (grumpily) No, I'll get the paper... Matt: No, I... Eric: I'll get my own paper. ( Matt surrenders, knowing there's no point fighting this. ) Eric: Thank you for the coffee. Julie: You're welcome. ( Eric heads down the hall to the front door. ) [EXT. Taylor House] ( Tami is grunting as she pulls up handmade white flags that are staked into the front yard. The signs read "Quitter." ) Eric: Morning. ( Tami turns to look at him. ) Tami: Hey, Hon. (reading Eric's face) Babe, just go on. Come on, let me just do this. [INT. West Dillon Panthers Coaches Room] ( The Panthers are watching the game tape from the previous game on a projector shouting victoriously. ) Team: Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! ( Lots of congratulating to J.D. and Luke. ) Wade: That's a helluva combo. Joe: Yeah... Boy, I can smell State. ( Team begins chanting "State! State! State!" ) [INT. East Dillon Locker Room] ( Polar opposite. Stan and Coach are watching their horrible game on an old TV set. ) Eric: (noting empty room) They damn well know they're supposed to be here, don't they? Stan: I know. Assistant Coach: Hey, I've looked everywhere. I went to training room, I went to the bus stop, nobody's here, Coach. No where in the building. ( Coach is angry. ) [EXT. East Dillon Football Fieldhouse] ( Coach walks to his truck and gets in, bitter, when Buddy drives up. ) Buddy: Hey friend! Come on, come go with me. Eric: Buddy, I'm not in the mood. I don't have time right now. Buddy: I got to show you something, Eric. Please. Come here. Please. ( This gets Coach's attention. ) [EXT. Empty lot of land] Buddy: Do you know what you're looking at, Eric? ( Address on solo mailbox reads: 2268 Oakdale Rd. ) Eric: No, why don't you fill me in? Buddy: This is the address for Luke Cafferty. Star Running Back. Dillon Panthers. Future Super Star. Luke. This is the address they have for him. Eric: Where does he really live? Buddy: East Dillon. He's supposed to be yours. ( OPENING CREDITS ) [INT. Taylor House - kitchen] ( Coach is holding his coffee and pacing, watching as Tami prepares Gracie's food. ) Tami: (looking at Gracie) There she is. (returning to conversation with Eric) I don't know what they were thinking. That were not gonna notice that it's an empty field out there? Do they think we're stupid? Eric: We wouldn't have known unless Buddy had told us. (shouts down hall) Come on, Julie! And that's another thing, don't say anything about that because he's afraid that half the town's gonna boycott his dealership. Tami: Well, I don't blame him. I'm a little worried myself. Eric: Julie, let's go!! Tami: Considering that in a Mrs. Coach kind of way Eric: Are you kidding? You don't have to worry about anything, you didn't do anything wrong. Julie, let's go!! Tami: I know I didn't do anything wrong but these people are all about doing the wrong thing. They don't seem to care. I feel just terrible for poor Luke Cafferty. I mean, that poor boy. I'm gonna have to tell him about this. Eric: I feel sorry for him. He has to come over to my school and be on my team. Tami: Honey... Eric: That's awful. Tami: Honey, come on now... Julie: I'm ready! Julie: Ready to go, dad? Eric: Yes. I'm very ready to go. Tami: Are you ready for your big first day? Julie: Yeah, should be fun. New teachers, new friends, new school... Eric: (to Tami) Bye. Tami: (kisses him) Goodbye. Tami: (to Julie) Come here. Eric: (mumbling on his way to the door) Come on let's go. Go to school half naked... Tami: Be careful. Julie: It's a high school, mom. Not a prison yard. Tami: Bye. I love you. Julie: I love you, too. Tami: Bye honey! [EXT. East Dillon High School] ( Lots of high school stuff going on. People hanging out by their cars, messing around on the grass, basketball game, people getting off the yellow buses, Rap music playing... ) [INT. East Dillon High School - Hallway] ( sht of Julie walking down the hall looking totally out of her element. Cut to Vince strutting up the stairs looking like he belongs there. ) Vince: (to fellow student as he passes) What up? ( He gets upstairs and spots banner that reads: Lions Pride Losers ) ( He's upset but keeps walking. He gets to his locker and there's a little white flag sticking out. He yanks it off and looks around, angry. ) Student: What's up, man? Hey, man, what happened? Vince: You know who did this? Student: Do what? Vince: Put this flag in my locker. Student: I ain't seen nothing. You know I'd tell you if I seen something. Vince: Alright. Student: Come on, you know me better than that. Vince: Yeah, all right. [INT. Dillon Tech Art Class] ( Matt is sitting at his desk, concentrating on drawing a model draped with a white sheet (hey, this is TV right?) ) Art Teacher: (to another student) ...what you're saying there. ( She wanders the room before quietly approaching Matt. ) Art Teacher: I, um, took the liberty of putting you up in an internship. He's a local artist out here. His name is Richard Sherman and he's selected you. Matt: He did? Art Teacher: Mm...hmm. It's quite an honor. The guy's a genius. Matt: Okay... Art Teacher: Can you go this afternoon? Matt: Yeah, yeah, of course. (pause) Why did you put me up for an internship? Art Teacher: Because you have what every important artist needs. Matt: What's that? Art Teacher: Pluck. Matt: Yeah... oh-kay... Thanks. Art Teacher: Sure. [EXT. East Dillon High School - Parking Lot] ( Landry drives up in his old car and starts to pull into a parking space but there are a group of students lingering there. ) Landry: Excuse me! (leans head out the window) Excuse me, I, um... Excuse me, I just need to uh, just squeeze by here... Student: (slams the hood of his car) Get out of here! Landry: It's uh, an open-- ( The group of students aren't moving so he starts to back up when we hear a scream as he hits something . ) ...AAH! ( Landry leaps out of his car and we see a girl trying to get her bike out from under his rear wheel. ) Landry: Oh, my God! Are you okay? Hey! Jess: Okay, what the Hell, huh?! Look what you did to my bike, you freaking idiot! Landry: I mean honestly... you're not even wearing a helmet though... Jess: Okay, come on, are you serious? Landry: What if...? Jess: Okay, you know what, junior? I need to expalin something to you. Landry: Okay, I'm listening. Jess: It took me a lot of months to save up for that bike. Okay? So it means a lot to me. Because not everybody gets a car bought from their daddy. So you're gonna pay me damages. Landry: Damages? That's uh... Jess: For my bike. Landry: Yeah. Jess: Okay? Landry: Yeah. Jess: What's your name? Landry: Landry Clark. Jess: Landry Clark? Landry: What's your name? Jess: Jess Merriweather. Landry: Pleasure to meet you. Jess: Nice to meet you. M-E-R-R-I-W-E-A-T-H-E-R. Don't forget that when you make out the check. [EXT: Richard Sherman's House] ( Matt drives up and exits the car. He's wearing a suit and judging by the fact that there's scrap metal everywhere, it's the last thing he should be wearing. He knocks on the garage door where inside we hear drilling. Richard Sherman appears wearing nothing but stubble and gray underwear, a cigarette dangling from his lips. ) Richard: What the Hell's so important out here? Matt: Nothing, I'm sorry. I was just... I think I have the wrong address I was trying to find this, uh, artist that I thought... Richard: Who? Matt: Uh, Richard Sherman, but it's okay. I'm gonna take off, I'm sorry that I bothered you... Richard: I'm Richard Sherman, dumb ass. Matt: I'm... I'm Matt Saracen. I'm your new intern. Richard: (waving him in) Yeah, I gotta bunch a crap in here and I'm gonna need you to start moving it. Come on in. Matt: Sorry. Richard: There's shards on the floor and I don't want any crap about it. ( Matt enters, uncertain what he got himself into. ) Richard: You got shoes on? Matt: Yeah, I wear shoes. Richard: Then close the door. [INT. East Dillon Cafeteria] ( Landry is sitting at the table. ) Player: There's coach. ( Landry looks over and excuses himself. ) Landry: Alright, I'm gonna go ahead and take off. See you all later. Player: Alright. ( He starts to walk away when Eric puts his hand on his shoulder to stop him. ) Eric: Can I talk to you for a minute? Listen, I don't know what's going on with my football players but I need your help, okay. Landry: Why'd you forfeit the game, coach? Eric: I'm sorry? Landry: I said, why'd you forfeit the game? Eric: I heard your question. Landry: Well, you have an answer to that cuz I don't understand. Eric: Listen to me. I don't have to explain my decisions to you, Landry. Landry: Okay, well I can explain to you that everyone gave absolutely everything they had out there and then you just quit on us? I don't know if you really know what that feels like but it's not a very good feeling. Eric: Do you understand what I'm saying? Landry: I'm done and everyone else is done. Eric: Hey! Hey! Hey, Landry! [EXT. West Dillon Football Field] ( Practice is in session in the rain and the coaches are yelling out: ) Let's go! Give me some piece! Gimme something to work with! There you go! Tight racing! ( Tami appears on the sidelines holding her umbrella and calls Luke over. ) Tami: Hey, Luke! Come here, son. Luke: Hey, Principal Taylor. Tami: How you doing? Luke: (referring to his play) Did you see that? Tami: I... yeah, that was amazing. Luke: Wasn't that great? Thank you. Tami: Amazing. Luke: Thank you. Tami: I need to talk to you for a sec. Luke: Yes maam. Tami: I need you tell me where you live. Luke: 2268 Oakdale Rd. Tami: Is that really where you live? Luke: Yes maam. 2268 Oakdale Rd. Tami: You know that's an empty field with a mailbox in front of it, right? You live on Kilroy don't you? And you know that Kilroy is zoned for East Dillon High isn't that right? ( He nods, looking so sad and heartbroken. ) Luke: Um, I mean, I've worked so hard for the Panthers and this team means everything to me. I mean, there's no team over at East Dillon... Tami: Well, there is a team there actually. They're starting a team. Luke: Well, I mean, is there anything that we can do? Can you write a letter to the Governor or something? Tami: Tell you what the only thing, the only thing you can do is your parents could move. That's the only thing. Luke: That's not gonna happen. Tami: I'm sorry son. You're gonna have to go over there, you're gonna have to pack up your stuff. Starting tomorrow you're going to school at East Dillon High. Luke: What? That's it? Tami: That's it. ( Luke starts crying, all his hard work and dreams slipping through his fingers. ) Luke: I mean, I will... I will get an 'A' in every single class. Tami: I know, you're a good student. Luke: Every one. I promise you that. I will... I will do anything, I swear to you, I will do anything... (sobbing) I'm begging you. Tami: (sympathetic) I'm sorry, son. I hate that it has to be this way, too. Luke: (wiping away tears) No, I'm okay, I'm okay... Thank you. Tami: You gonna be alright? Luke: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Thank you very much. Tami: Go on now. ( Tami turns to walk away as Luke heads back to his team when he pauses and calls her back. ) Luke: Principal Taylor! Hey! I'm real sorry for lying to you. For the whole time and for lying to you right now to your face. I'm real sorry, okay? Tami: I appreciate that, Luke. I do appreciate that. Luke: Okay. Tami: It'll be alright, son. Luke: No, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Thank you. ( They break away. ) Wade: Luke! Luke: Yeah, I'll be right there, Coach! [INT. RIGGINS RIGS Garage] ( Tim is working under a truck. ) Billy: Why hasn't the part for Mrs. Carlson's Taurus come in yet? Tim: I don't know, Billy. Billy: The part was ordered ten days ago, Tim. Did you order it from Tahiti? Finish this transmission man. Finish it today. You were working on it all day yesterday. Tim: Hey, uh, just throwing it out there. It's been well over two weeks. Do you think I'll get paid or...? Billy: I'm waiting on some money to come in, alright. Tim: When? Billy: Seriously, could you back off for two-seconds? Do you have any clue what I've got on my plate right now, Tim? Seriously man. I'm trying to run a garage, I gotta a pregnant wife, and I haven't slept for two weeks because... because Mindy's reading some stupid book about what's supposed to happen every two seconds of your pregnant life and now every time she farts she thinks she's thinking that her water's breaking. Or, or, that's she's going into contractions. So back off! ( Phone starts ringing and Billy answers it. ) Billy: Riggins Rigs. Tim: Hey, hey Billy! Could you pass me that violin please? Billy: (moving the phone away from his mouth) Will you shut up! Tim: You're hogging it. Billy: Shut up! (back on phone) No, that wasn't directed towards you, maam. Where are you? We'll send a truck out as soon as we can. Tim: When you're done with it, I need the violin. Billy: Get your ass up, okay. Get your ass up. We got a tow. [EXT. West Dillon High School - parking lot] ( Wade and Joe drive up to Tami's car in a golf cart. ) Joe: Principal Taylor. Tami: Hey y'all. Joe: What's it gonna take? Tami: I'm not sure what conversation we're having here. What are you talking about? Wade: Oh, I think you know. Tami: Are we talking about Luke? Joe: Yeah! We're talking about Luke. ( Laughs. ) Joe: Yeah. Tami: Uh-huh. Joe: So what's it gonna take? Like, new books for the library, new instruments for the orchestra, what? Tami: Are you all coming to me in the school parking lot and offering me a bribe? Wade: No but you need to be reasonable. Tami: Is that's what happening? Wade: You need to be reasonable about this, Tami. It's not gonna do anything but hurt this kid. You know, we can't let that happen to him and we can't let it happen to our team and we can't let it happen to the school. Joe: And we can't let it happen to you, Tami. I mean, what's gonna happen to you if this goes down? I think you're gonna get lynched. Tami: That is so sweet. You are so sweet to think about me. I appreciate that so much. But I can take care of myself, thank you. Wade: Okay, but think of this: that first win will have to be forfeited because of this. And if that happens we might not make it back from that. That means we might not make it to state this year. Now do you want that? Tami: No. That boy was enrolled here in illegally. Joe: Yes and ironically he just happens to be going to a school where your husband is the football coach. Would you do me a favor? Would you go home and ask your husband one thing: ask him who put up that mailbox. Because the Dillon Panthers have been using that mailbox long before I got here. And if I want to do a little digging around. You know, I think things could come up. I think games could be forfeited. I think rings could be lost. ( Tami mulls this over. ) [EXT. Tim driving up in a Riggins Rig to pick up his tow to find it's the daughter from his one night stand] Tim: You gotta be kidding me. Girl: Hey, Tim Riggins who used to be a Panther. Good morning. Tim: Tell me you need a tow. Girl: Ha, yeah, no, but I do need a ride to school. Which would be awesome because my mom's not here - I don't know what she's doing, she's MIA for some reason - and I had to find my dog this morning cuz little Squirt got out again and I missed the bus and my hair was doing this weird flip thing that I wasn't really too sure about and it was just a really rough morning altogether so... Let's get this show on the road! Come on! Let's get going. I'm gonna be late. ( He starts driving. ) Tim: Don't ever do this again. [INT. Matt's Car] ( Matt and Julie are riding in Matt's car as he makes his deliveries. ) Matt: I mean all I did all day was carry big, rusty, dirty pieces of metal around a junk yard. It sucked. Julie: (laughing) I still can't believe you were naked. Matt: No, I wasn't naked. He was naked. ( Julie laughs. ) Matt: Whatever. He never even asked me about my art. I mean, why does he think I'm there? Does he think I like doing manual labor? Julie: Well, maybe he thinks, you know, you're not a great artist cuz you go to community college. ( Matt clenches his jaw and nods. ) Julie: I mean, no offense. I didn't mean it to sound... Matt: It's fine. Julie: I'm just saying you need to get him excited. You need to show him who you are and your art and just take the bull by the horns. Matt: Well, you know I have been told I have pluck. Julie: Really? Matt: Yeah, I don't know what that means. [EXT. Apartment Complex - kinda sketchy] ( Eric drives up and walks up a flight of stairs. Sirens in the background and a woman yells something I can't decipher. Eric knocks on one of the doors. A haggard looking woman answers it. ) Eric: Um, maam. I'm Coach Taylor from over at the high school. Are you Vince's mother by chance? Mother: Yeah? Why? ( In the background we see Vince walking up to see the exchange but Coach doesn't see him. ) Eric: Yeah, why? Well, I just wanted to... I just wanted to talk with him, that's all. I just came by to talk him. He hasn't been at practice the last few days. Mother: Well, that's his business. Ain't no laws about missing no practice. ( She starts to shut the door but he pushes it back open. ) Eric: Ma'am, I'm just trying to help your son. Mother: You got tweenty bucks? Please? ( Eric hands her a twenty. ) Mother: Lincoln and Victory almost every night. [EXT. Gas Station] ( Eric is sitting in his truck, eating a burrito while his tnk fills with gas. The man at the car next to him calls out. ) Man: Hey, do you know how to get to Lubbock? Eric: You gotta take 61 up to 23. ( The man seems to recognize Eric. ) Man: Hey, Dillon East right? You're the coach at Dillon East. You lost your inner pirate. Uh, have you ever heard 'swing your sword'? You're supposed to swing your sword like this (motions with is hands high up). You're swinging yours like this. (motions with his hands limply) I mean, uh, you gotta find your inner pirate. (Eric is looking at this man like he's nuts) A lot of times, things just happen for a reason. We don't know why God wants it that way? But you can't make the best out of it until you get back your inner pirate. You might be the luckiest man alive and not even know it. ( The guy drives away leaving Eric dumbstruck. ) [INT. Taylor Kitchen] ( Tami is at the counter cutting up cucumber when Eric comes home. ) Eric: Hey, babe. Tami: Hey. Eric: Smells good. Tami: Babe? Babe? Eric: Yup? What? Tami: Did you know that that mailbox was out there by that empty field? Did you know that? ( Eric pauses way too long. ) Eric: What are you talking about? Tami: I'm talking about Joe McCoy told me today that that mailbox has been out there since you were head coach of the Panthers. Did you know? Eric: Listen, I don't follow what the boosters and parents in town do. That's not my job. You know there's a lot of different ways that... that people try and get kids on the team. Tami: Um... hum. Eric: What does that mean? Tami: That means you sure were paying a lot of attention the last couple of days when you were trying to get Luke Cafferty on your team. And you know now I'm in a bad position because Joe McCoy is about to go out and do all kinds of research and all kinds of digging into things like State Titles... Eric: Don't talk to me like that. Tami: Well, honey, I'm talking about your State Title. And not just you but your team. Eric: Well, you know what, honey? I may not even have a team. Tami: Of course you have a team. Eric: No, I might not have a team. I'm surprised your friend Joe didn't inform you that my team hasn't been showing up for practice since the forfeit. Tami: Well, I didn't know that. I'm sorry to hear that. Eric: Well, I'm glad you're sorry. I'm sorry, too. Tami: Why didn't you tell me? Eric: Hell, I tried to get Landry to get together to try and bring the team out there and you know Landry did? In the middle of teh cafeteris, Landry looks at me and basically says, "Hey, Coach, go to Hell." Tami: Babe, I'm sorry to heat that but I still don't think you should've lied to me. Eric: I didn't lie to you. Tami: Well, I wish you had told me... Eric: But I didn't lie! Tami: Well, you should have told me that you knew that... Eric: Knew what? I don't know who put the mailbox there! You saying I put the mailbox there? Does anyone else say I did? Cuz I didn't! I don't know who put it there. Tami: Don't raise your voice at me. Don't raise your voice. You're being ridiculous. Eric: I'm not reaising my voice! I don't want to come into my damn house and be accused first thing before I sit down Tami: Well then don't lie to me next time! Eric: I didn't lie to you! I didn't put the mailbox there! Tami: Where are you going? Eric: I'm going to get some milk. [EXT. Park and Victory and Lincoln] ( Eric drives up to a baseketball game, pauses to consider what he's going to do before stepping out. ) Calvin: (seeing Coach) Oh, what the hell, man? Say, V. Vince! ( Eric walks up. ) Calvin: (to Eric) You came to the wrong gym, homie. Eric: (ignoring Calvin) Vince, let me talk to you. Calvin: Can't you see we hooping, man? Eric: Yeah, I can see. Calvin: Talk to him at school. Eric: I can see and I understand. He's not in school now is he? (returning attention to Vince) You're making a mistake, man. Hey! Officer Shaw keeps calling. I can't keep him away forever, man. I've been watching those game tapes, man. You're running the forty in under five, a full pass and you got all the moves, man. You gotta a lotta talent, I'm telling you. Don't throw it away. ( Vince looks over once in awhile but doesn't stop playing. ) Eric: You gonna talk to me? Hey, Vince! You gonna throw it away? You gonna throw that away? Last chance. I'm not going to waste my time anymore. ( Eric waits a bat but Vince just keeps playing B-ball so he walks away. ) Eric: Your choice Big Man. [INT. Richard Sherman's Garage/Studio] ( Richard is flipping through some of Matt's drawings while Matt stands there, waiting for input. Richard isn't pausing or talking, just going through them. When he's done, he hands them back to Matt. ) Richard: There's some Chevy parts out in the back, I want you to move them here in the front because I gotta start cutting them. Matt: Yes, Sir. ( Richard returns to his sawing. ) [INT. Ray's BBQ Restaurant] ( It's a small dive. The kind of place the locals know and love but an outsider is not likely to know about. We see Jess working her butt off bussing tables. ) Jess: (to an older man serving BBQ as she passes) Excuse me. Hey, Pops. Pops: Babe, can you get me the sausage from out back? Jess: All right. You want the spicy kind? Pops: Yeah. That'll do. ( She dumps her bin of discard and as she moves back, he hands her a new tray of food to deliver. ) Pops: Here you go. ( We suddenly spot Landry sitting at a nearby table and observing as Jess delivers the food. ) Jess: (serving) Maam. Extra BBQ sauce. For you. Here you go. Enjoy. ( After she's done, she delivers to another table. ) Jess: Here's your pickles, man. ( She opens a refrigerator, looking spent. She grabs a large heavy pot and starts carrying it back, pausing to bus a table. She drops something. ) Landry: (gets up from his table) Here, I got it. I got it. ( Jess looks over but keeps going, taking the pot to Pops. ) Pops: (helping to take the pot from her) Yeah. Jess: You wanted the spicy kind, right? Pops: Yeah. Jess: Okay. ( Landry starts bussing his own table and a few others. ) Jess: (to Pops) I can... You want me to...? Pops: No, no, no, no... You're good. Jess: Okay. ( Landry walks up with his trash. ) Landry: Here you go. Jess: What you doing? Pops: What's your problem? Landry: I don't have a problem. I was just... uh, she looked busy and I just thought I'd help her out. We go to school together. Jess: Oh, uh, this is, uh... Landry: I'm Landry. Jess: Yeah Landry. Landry: Nice to meet you. Jess: Landry, my dad. Landry: Oh, he's your... Pops: Yeah. Jess: Yeah. Landry: Yeah. ( Pops hands him a garbage bag. ) Pops: Yeah, Landry. Take that out back. Thanks for the help. Landry: Yeah. (starts going to the back) Nice kitchen. Pops: (giving Jess a pointed look) Landry? Jess: (at a loss to explain or comprehend herself - starts walking away) Yeah, I'll get that... ( Pops turns around to see customers. ) Pops: Yeah? What'cha want? [INT. East Dillon Coach's Office] Eric: Here's what we're going to do: we're going to call a speical practice for Saturday night. Assistant Coach: Saturday? Eric: If it doesn't work out, we're gonna start over. Stan: What exactly does that mean - 'start over'? Eric: I don't know, Stan. (he gets up from his chair) I don't know what 'start over' means. ( He leaves the office. ) Eric: Saturday night! [EXT. East Dillon Football Field] ( Coach surveying the land when Tim passes by and spots him. ) Tim: Coach? Eric: Huh. Tim, how you doing? I heard... How come you're not back at college? Tim: I, uh... Eric: You what? Tim: I'm working full-time with my brother now. Making some money. You, uh, you look different. Eric: It's the color. Tim: Yeah, it's pretty red. Eric: (adjusts cap) Yeah. Well. Tim: Well, I mean, I heard about the forfeit. And, uh, it's a shaky start so. I mean, I'd love to be a part of it if I can help in any way. Eric: You're offering your help to me? Tim: Yes, sir. Eric: (smiles) Come with me. Come on. [INT. Restaurant with Dillon Panthers on the wall] ( Wade and Joe are meeting with the Boosters when Tami enters. ) Joe: Hey, do we have the latest injury report for Rural Rock? Is that middle linebacker of theirs still messed up? Cuz if he is, boy, it's gonna be party time... He's out? Booster: Left knee... Joe: Now, Buddy, are we looking to talk to that Quarter... Tami: Sorry, I hate to interrupt. How are you? Good to see you, Sam. Don't mean to interrupt, I just... (looking at Joe) Can I have a quick word with you, Joe? Talk amongst yourselves. Um, I just wanted to make sure that we didn't have any understanding the other day when we had that conversation in the school parking lot... you know with the golf cart and all of that... And I just wanted to make sure we're clear that my decision has been made and is made and that Luke Cafferty is going to East Dillon High. ( She looks around at the not happy faces. ) Joe: Are you clear about what I told you? Tami: Yeah, I think I heard you. You mean about doing an investigation and retroactively taking away Panther State titles. That's the thing you're talking about? Because I just want to actually make sure that your also going to check with all these gentlemen here about that because as you said, that's going to mean rings being taken away and things like that and I can betcha there are a lot of rings in this group, you know. Family and what not. So, you do what you have to do. I know you're going to do what you have to do but I just wanted to make sure that I am very clear with you on where on stand on it. So, I'll let you all get back to it. Thank you so much. Than you all so much! You all enjoy! ( As she walks away, all the eyes at the table shift to Joe McCoy. ) [EXT. Richard Sherman's Garage] ( Matt is moving around large pieces of scrap metal as Richard welds when he cuts himself. ) Matt: Hey, hey, I cut my hand and I don't have a tetnus sht. So I'm gonna have to go get one. Richard: (under his welder's mask) That was brilliant. Matt: Thank you, that was brilliant. (He's frustrated.) Thank you, thanks for everything. I'll see you later. Richard: What the hell's your problem? Matt: You... I don't know what your deal is. You're rude, nasty and that's fine, that's your thing, that's okay, you're an artist. And I'll carry all your crap but the reason I'm here and that I'm doing this is cuz I want to be an artist. Alright, so, the least you can do is say something about it. Richard: You want me to say something? Matt: I would like you to say something. ( Richard reaches for Matt's portfolio. ) Richard: Alright, I'll say something. (He pulls out the drawings.) Whoa... Matt: That's very helpful. Yeah, just wrinkle them up. ( Richard pulls out one and starts tearing it in half. ) Matt: Are you...? ( Richard keeps tearing and hands Matt a piece. ) Richard: Alright, this part here doesn't make me wanna puke. Try working from this place. Matt: Alright [INT. East Dillon Coach's Office] ( Coach is working when Vince enters, looking defiant, and puts a twenty on Coach's desk. ) Vince: You're not my father. I support my family. She had no business taking that from you. You shouldn't have gave it to her. Eric: Sit down. Sit down. (Vince sits.) I'm sorry. Don't quit on me. Don't quit on yourself. I'm gonna ask you to do me a favor. This team is broken all to hell. I could use somebody to help me put those pieces back together again. I don't know where I'm going but I'll get another job. This job doesn't work out for you, we both know where you're going. Bring 'em to me. Talk to 'em and bring 'em to me. Talk to 'em for me. Talk to 'em and bring 'em to me tomorrow night. Special practice. Ten o'clock out here - at the field. (Vince stands up and starts walking out.) Hey! It's just us. Just the Lions. Hey, talk to 'em! [INT. West Dillon Auditorium Pep Rally] ( It's wild and exciting! People are pumped up. ) Students: We are Panthers! We are Panthers! We are Panthers! ( Tami walks up to the podium. ) Tami: Welcome Panthers! We have a big game coming up with West Ambria... ( Boos and jeers from the crowd and we see signs "We Want Luke." A conflicted Buddy Garrity is leaning against a wall. ) Tami: I will wait. Students: We want Luke! We want Luke! We want Luke! ( Joe McCoy is watching smugly as Tami just stands there. ) [EXT. East Dillon Football Field - Saturday Night] ( The coaches are on the field waiting. Luke Cafferty walks up to the field wearing a West Dillon t-shirt. ) Luke: Hey coach, I'm, uh, I'm Luke Cafferty. I'm here for the special practice Coach Taylor called. ( Luke goes to shake hands with the Asst. Coach and he's very polite. ) Assistant Coach: Luke, nice to see 'ya. Welcome to East Dillon. Luke: Thank you, thank you. Eric: Luke, how you doing? Luke: Hey coach. Eric: Good to see you. Stan: Stan Traub. Luke: How are you? Stan: Great admirer. Luke: Nice to meet you, coach. Stan: Big fan of yours. Luke: Thanks. (looks around empty field) Uh, where's the team? Stan: Coach? ( Team walks up lead by Vince. ) Eric: How you doing folks? Vince? Vince: Coach. Eric: How you doing, tnk? Assistant Coach: Good evening gentlemen. Good to see you. Eric: Listen, last week we got our asses bat doing our best. And there is no shame in that, gentlemen. But I'll tell you what, I got shame in me. I have got shame and I apologize to you. I apologize for not giving you the chance to finish your fight. I want to finish that fight with you. And I'm asking you, right here, right now, to allow me to help you finish that fight. ( The team is quiet as Eric starts a fre in an old can. He picks up a plastic bag of old videotape and pulls one out. ) Eric: See this gentlemen? This right here, this is the past. (He throws the tape into the fre and grabs one of their bloodied jerseys from a large pile.) Who wants to finish this fight? Who will finish this fight with me? ( Vince walks up, sharing a look with Eric and burns his jersey. Landry soon follows. ) Landry: I will, sir. ( Landry shares a look of understanding with Eric and takes the jersey from him, tossing it into the fre. tnk follows. ) Eric: Glad to have you on board, t*nk. ( Luke takes off his W. Dillon t-shirt and burns it. ) Eric: Let's finish it. (The rest of the team joins in.) Let's finish it. Let's finish it! Let's finish it! Team: Let's do this boys! Eric: Let's finish it. [INT. BAR] ( Tim is back at the bar, drinking his woes. ) Bartender: Hey, sailor. Looks like you haven't slept in a week. Tim: Feels that way. Bartender: Well... Tim: Kinda looking for a place if you know any. Bartender: That shouldn't be so hard. Tim: It is when you don't have first and last. Bartender: Well, I do have this trailer in my backyard. I'll charge you a $100 a month. You can stay there until you find a place. Tim: (considering) That's very sweet but... Bartender: Don't get me wrong, that was unbelievable but I'm not really that into you and more importantly, I can tell you're not that into me so who really needs to go there. I'm not gonna come banging on your door in the middle of the night, know what I mean? But I can use the cash. Tim: When? Bartender: Start right now. Let me get you the keys. Tim: Like tonight right now? Bartender: Remember where I live? I'm gonna give my daughter a call. She's not gonna know you from Adam. I don't want you to scare her. ( Tim just stares at her thinking this woman is clueless. She pulls off the key and hands it to him. ) Bartender: Here you go. Tim: Thank you. [EXT. Bartender's house] ( Tim drives up as girl is hanging up laundry. ) Girl: Hey. Tim: Hey. ( Tim enters the trailer and closes the door while girl watches. She enters the house. ) [INT. Taylor Living Room] ( Tami is lounging on the sofa, sipping wine, when Eric wanders in. ) Eric: What are you doing? Tami: Drinking wine. Eric: Oh? Tami: How are you? ( Eric plops himself down next to her. ) Eric: Hmm? How'd everything go today? Tami: I got booed at the pep rally. Eric: What do you mean booed? Tami: I mean booed. Boo. But I did get one little bit of satisfaction. Just being able to stand up to those good old boys so I got that going for me. And wine. How was your day? Eric: They showed up. Tami: They did? Eric: It's a start. Tami: That's right. Eric: You know, I'm sorry I lied. Tami: I know. ( They sit there, taking in the moment. ) Eric: Now I just gotta find us a way to get some new uniforms.	{"type": "series", "show": "Friday Night Lights", "episode": "04x02 - After the Fall"}	foreverdreaming
This is the address for Luke Cafferty. Where does he really live? East Dillon. You're gonna have to pack up your stuff. Starting tomorrow, you're going to be going to school at East Dillon High. What? Kind of looking for a place. I do have this trailer. Cheryl: I am going to give my daughter a call. Hey. Don't want you to scare her. (stammering) I'm your new intern. Yeah, I got a bunch of crap in here. I need you to start moving it. Why did you forfeit the game? You just quit on us? I have got shame and I apologize to you. Who wants to finish this fight? Dallas: Let's do this, fellas! Let's finish it. Let's finish it. ( Park where the Lions are gathered around an old red car, Stan sits inside. ) Eric: Hey, listen! Ten of you are gonna push the car. Once we get out there and everything, the rest of you hold the helmets and collect the money. Understood? Be careful, don't get your feet run over while we're out there. Any questions? tnk: Matter of fact, I do have a question. Eric: What is it Tinker? Tinker: Why are we pushing this damn car? Eric: One, you need to watch your language. Two, next time I see you I want whatever that is on your upper lip shaved off. And I tell you why we're pushing the car, cuz it's a fun football fundraiser. And we're all gonna have fun so we're all gonna put smiles on our faces right about now. Team comes out, town comes out, money gets exchanged. It's a good thing. Understood? Tinker: Got it coach! Eric: Let's be kind and courteous out there. Let's go. ( The team starts pushing the car out of the parking lot. ) Stan: (into his megaphone) Hello neighborhood! We're the Lions! (he roars) Let's hear it guys! (roars) [EXT. Dillon Church] ( Tami and Julie exit the church, headed to the car. Tami is holding Gracie. ) Tami: Even at church, everyone is really not being nice to me about this whole Luke Cafferty thing? Julie: Yeah, well, that's our congregation. All sweet and holy inside the church. Then as soon as they get out the door, bitchy and judgmental. Tami: Well, welcome to the world, honey. Julie: It's not gonna be my world. Tami: What's not gonna be your world? Julie: Going to church with a bunch of hypocrites. ( Tami starts to load Gracie into her car seat. ) Tami: Honey, hypocrites are everywhere. It has nothing to do with church. That's no way to think about it. There's always going to be some bad apples but church is about you and God and things other than just people.. Julie: So if it's just about me and God, why can't I just worship at home? Tami: I mean, I think church is also about community and family and you know, there's just a lot to it. [EXT. Streets of East Dillon] ( The team is pushing the car down the street while Stan yells out. ) Stan: We need your quarters, your dollar bills, your good wishes in monetary fashion! Let' hear it boys! Tinker: (to Vince as they push the car) I feel the love. You feel the love? Vince: Shut up, stop sweating on me and push this piece of junk, okay? Stan: We got forty bucks, people! Thank you, good people of the street! Eric: (to people donating money) Good to see 'ya! Thank you very much! Thank you very much! Stan: We are the East Dillon Lions! Speed up! Speed up! Feed us! Roar!!! ( Tim walks up to Coach. ) Tim: I'm out. Eric: What do you mean you're out? Tim: I'm out of money. Eric: What do you mean you're out of money? Tim: I'm out of money. ( Eric pulls some cash from his pocket. ) Eric: (handing it to Tim) Listen to me. This is all I got left. That's about a hundred bucks. Don't give it all to one person. Tim: Alright Eric: Spread it out. Tim: I'm trying, some are taking it. Eric: Well, give it to people who won't take it. Stan: Look at these boys pushing this car for ten miles! [EXT. Richard Sherman's studio] ( Matt grabs a rusted tricycle and takes it into the studio where loud music is playing while Richard welds. ) Matt: Hey! Here's the tricycle. Richard: What? Matt: Tricycle! ( Richard stops working to look at it. ) Richard: That's great. Listen, I need you to drive me to Clearwater on Tuesday. I need to pick up some metal so I can finish this piece of crap. Matt: Why do you call everything you work on 'crap'? Richard: Because it is all crap. I call the Mona Lisa crap. In fact, the Mona Lisa is crap. There are better things I call crap. Matt: Alright, well, Clearwater is like 200 miles away. Richard: Just about. Matt: Right. And I gotta shift I gotta do so I... I mean, I can't take the whole day and chauffer you up there. Richard: Yeah, yeah, you're here to learn about art from an artist! You can't take a day off because you gotta a shift to deliver pizza? ( Matt has no comeback for this so Richard just gets back to work. ) [EXT. East Dillon High School] ( Eric is walking with the Principal Levi. ) Levi: We already have uniforms. Why do we need new ones? Eric: Cuz I brned the uniforms. Levi: Taylor--- Eric: I brned them. That's what you do. They're damn thirty years old. It's not like I just brned them for no reason. You end the old cycle, you start the new, Levi. You know, you get rid of the past. Levi: Uh-huh. Taylor: Fact of the matter is, the team and I we went out and we made up a good amount of money it's just that... Levi: That's good. Eric: We're just... we're just a little shy of what we need and all I'm asking is you and the school, is if you help us with the down payment. Hell, we can pay for the rest of them. Levi: I don't think you understand the financial situation here. We ain't close to talking about more money for football. Eric: Listen Levi, it's expensive to start up a new football program... Levi: Starting up a new football program is a little premature. Let's see if we can finish up some games before we start writing some checks. Eric: What the hell is that supposed to mean? Levi: You can't finish games, I can't keep this program going. I can't have no students getting hurt. I don't want no jokes down at the school board meetings. I'm tired. Either you turn it around or we're gonna shut it down. Eric: What do you mean shut it down? You're gonna shut down a football program? Levi: Taylor! You weren't even supposed to take this job! You weren't supposed to be here. So you're the only who didn't get the joke. Okay? ( CREDITS ) [EXT. Tim Riggins' trailer] ( Becky is knocking. ) [INT. Tim Riggins trailer] ( Tim is crawling out of bed. ) Tim: Yes? Yeah! [EXT. Tim Riggins' trailer] Becky: Morning! I made you toast. Tim: Are you serious? Becky: Yeah. It's worth it, eat it. Tim: What time is it? Becky: Morning. Hey, and since you're up, can you give me a ride to school? Tim: No. Becky: Come on. Put some pants on. ( She starts to close the door. ) Becky: Watch your head. Watch your head. ( She closes the door. ) Becky: Hurry up! I'll be waiting in the truck. Tim: What's wrong with you? [INT. Taylor Kitchen] ( Tami is feeding Gracie Belle. ) Tami: Here you go, sweetheart. There. Here's your sippy. Julie: Good morning! Tami: Hey, Honey. Jule: Good morning, Grace. Tami: You know yesterday in church, all that stuff you were saying... Do you feel like we're making you go to church? Julie: It's not like you're making me go to church it's just... you know, something we all do as a family. It's like a tradition but if you stop going than I don't think I'd probably keep going. [INT. Restaurant with the West Dillon coach and boosters.] Joe: Coach Taylor at half-time: We're done! We're bat up! We can't play anymore! ( Laughter all around when Buddy enters the restaurant. ) Joe: I couldn't believe it! Buddy: Hey, guys. ( It's quieter now. ) Booster: Hey, Buddy. Buddy: Well, you're waiting on me. You're backing up. Booster: We missed you at the game Friday night, Buddy. ( Buddy starts to sit down and Joe is just sitting there smiling like a Prince on his throne. ) Buddy: Yeah, I had to listen to it on the radio. I was really sick, it's terrible. Joe: Anything you feel like sharing with us, Buddy? Anything about a certain mailbox or an old friend of yours named Eric Taylor? Buddy: Oh, no. I don't think so. I don't know what you're implying. (all eyes focus on Buddy) I think this Luke deal has made everyone go a little crazy. (he twists his State Ring) You know, Joe, I was a Panther before everybody here. So, I'll just pretend you didn't say that. Go ahead with the agenda, Joe. ( Joe has that smile* on his face. ) Joe: Alright then. Gentlemen, there is a 13-yr old quarterback in a Pop Warner League down in Little Tree that needs a closer look at. Who's gonna go down there for me? [INT. East Dillon Locker Room] ( Team just hanging out. Vince is eyeing Luke as he chats with Landry. ) Player: Lions in the house. Let me hear you say, "Oh yeah!" Vince: (to his friend, referring to Luke) What the hell that dude so happy about? Player: I don't know what he happy about. I guess he think he gonna come down here and kick our asses or something. Vince: Something. Tinker: He's all, I'm a Panther. Player: We the Lions. Eric: Let's go, guys. Let's go! Let's go. Stan: Come on boys! Execute! ( Vince lingers until Luke walks by. ) Vince: You're a long way from home boy. Luke: I guess so. [EXT. East Dillon Football Field] ( Practice. Tim is there helping out. ) Eric: Come on, get after him. Pick him up. Pick -- come on, Vince. What are you doing, man? You're dancing out here. Dancing. Don't start my day off like this. Why is it I'm always talking to you? I spend half my day, my practice, talking to you. Get in the front. Do it again. Get in the front. Let me see it. Luke come here. I want you down at the defensive backs. Luke: I don't play D, coach. Eric: If I tell you to get down to the defensive backs you do. Get on the defensive backs. Tim, you wanna take him down? If you'd like to hurry that up, that'd be just fine. Tim: Riggins. Luke: I knew that. It's a pleasure, man. Eric: (focusing back on practice) Do it again. Let me see it again. Get after him! Move him! Come on, let me see some of the speed! Tim: How you doing? Luke: I mean, I'm alright 'cept I don't play DB. Tim: It's alright. Luke: What are you doing here? Coaching now? Tim: I'm helping out when I can. Luke: Nice. Tim: Yeah. Luke: I saw you win State. ( Luke raises his hand to either high-five Tim or maybe as a gesture to see Tim's ring. Either way, Tim ignores it. ) Tim: Yeah, here. You go DB it up. Luke: Alright. [EXT. Panther Pizza] ( Matt is exiting with his deliveries while Julie reads something to him. ) Julie: His last installment at the Austin Museum of Modern Art is nothing short of mind bending. A violent fusion of metal and artistry that invokes somehow both anger and beauty through a complex interplay of architecture and light. Brilliant, visceral, and ultimately, ethereal, this work is not to be missed. Matt: Are you sure you got the right Richard Sherman? ( Julie opens up the hatchback to Matt's station wagon so he can load the pizza. ) Julie: Yup, it's him. Matt: "Brilliant and ethereal"? Julie: That's what it says. Matt: The dude is like an angry, abusive idiot. I don't understand how he can get described as ethereal. Julie: I don't know. Maybe it's his evil twin. Matt: Yeah, maybe. Clearwater and back. This is going to be 400-miles of Hell. [INT. East Dillon Locker Room] ( Coach is working on fixing the lights when a man enters. ) Man: Hey, coach. Eric: Hey, Doug, how you doing? Doug: I'm good. ( Eric finishes with the light. ) Doug: Nicely done. Eric: How is everything? Doug: Good. Good. The uniforms are look great, they're coming along, look beautiful. You're going to be real happy. Eric: Look, I know... I know I'm late on payment and all this but... Doug: Nah, look I know things are rough here right now. It's just we're gonna deliver on Friday. Eric: I understand we've had a few little hiccups with our fundraising and uh... Doug: Sure, sure. Well, look Coach. You've been a friend of Under Armor for a long while and that's why we're doing this at our cost and I'm gonna throw in some hats and polos for your staff cuz you helped me out when I was starting off, you know. So I won't forget that. Eric: I appreciate that, I appreciate the... Doug: But I'm gonna need a little something to, uh, take back to Baltimore. Eric: I understand. How much? How much is it that you need - today? Doug: Five. Eric: Five thousand? Doug: Alright, um, you give me three now and two more on delivery and we'll let it go at that. Eric: Alright. ( Eric pulls out a personal check. ) Eric: Alright. That's good, thank you. Doug: Yeah, absolutely. ( Eric writes out the personal check and hands it to Doug. ) Doug: Let me get that for you. Eric: Listen, I appreciate that very much. I appreciate your understanding. Doug: This, uh, a personal check, Coach? Eric: Yes, it is. Doug: This gonna be okay with you? Eric: If it's okay with you, it's okay with me. Doug: Oh, yeah. Alright. I'll get it going. Eric: Thank you. Thank you very much. Doug: Thank you. ( Doug leaves. ) Doug: Alrighty! Eric: Alright. [INT. Coach and Mrs. Coach's bathroom] ( Tami is applying her make-up. ) Tami: Julie the other day was talking about how she doesn't want to go to church anymore. I think she's questioning her faith or something. Eric: Well, you know what? She's a teenager. You give her a week and she'll turn around. Be a hundred and eighty degrees. Tami: Yeah but who knows where she'll go from there. Eric: Well, I don't think she's going to hell anytime soon so I don't think you have to worry about it. Listen, I gotta go meet with Buddy tonight. I'm gonna try and figure out how in the hell you're supposed to beg money from the Boosters. Tami: Ugh, I hate that. Alright. Hey, listen, did you write a check and not put it in the book because there's a check missing. Eric: Oh yeah, it's uh, for Reds. It's for the Dry Cleaners. It's for $45. Tami: Honey... ( Eric starts to leave. ) Eric: Sorry. Tami: You've got to put that stuff in the book. Eric: I know. Tami: I can't keep track. Eric: Alright. [EXT. Richard Sherman's Studio] ( Matt drives up in his station wagon when Richard exits acting like he's been waiting all day. Matt starts to get out when Richard gets in. ) Matt: Well, I'm here. Richard: Come on, let's go. We got 200 miles to cover. Matt: We're taking my car? I hope you're paying for gas. Richard: So I'm teaching you the meaning of life and I'm supposed to cover for gas, too? Matt: Meaning of life, yeah. Richard: Maybe I should get you a lunch and how about a damn souvenir? Matt: I'm just saying this is a non-paying internship, okay. Richard: Smells like old pizza in here, man. Matt: Well, that's how I pay for gas. Glad you're masking it with cigarette smoke. Richard: That's cool. That's cool. [INT. Coach's Office] Eric: Landry! Landry: Yes, sir! Eric: Come here. ( Landry walks in with his helmet put funnily on his face. ) Landry: Yeah, coach? Eric: I want you on special teams today working on bunting. Landry: Yeah. I'd love to catch some punts. Eric: Good. Landry: That's uh... Eric: I don't want you catching. I want you punting. Landry: You want me, like, um, kicking the ball? I don't know if I've ever... Eric: Yeah, that's what you do when you punt the ball. Landry: No, I, uh understand... Eric: You work on it. Landry: I know what it is. Eric: Special teams punting. Can you do that for me? Landry: Yes, sir. I just, I'm only... Eric: I appreciate it. Landry: Always considered myself kind of a...hands man. Eric: I need a punter! So if you would consider hang times and coughing corners, I'd appreciate that. Thank you very much. Landry: Yes, sir. I'll got start practicing right now. Thank you, Coach. ( Landry leaves and Eric rubs his head when Luke knocks. ) Eric: Yeah? Luke: Coach, can I have a word please? Eric: Yeah, sure. Come on in. Luke: Coach, I think we got off on the wrong foot and I just wanted to clear everything out. I just want to say, I don't hold anything against you. Everything that happened between me and your wife over at Dillon. And I'm not here to give you a hard time. I'm here to play football. Eric: Well, good. I'm glad. I'm glad. Luke: Okay. Eric: Cuz I don't think you should be holding it against me. As far as my wife is concerned, my wife wasn't the one who caused these problems for you. You caused these problems for yourself, isn't that about right? You were doing something knowingly wrong and you got caught. Yeah? That lands yourself right on a plate of responsibility so why don't you take that responsibility. And as far as the rest, we'll see what you got when you're out there. Luke: Alright. Thanks, coach. [EXT. Junkyard] ( Matt and Richard are loading metal into the back of the station wagon. ) Richard: (holding up a piece of metal) You see stuff like this, okay? Get that, too. Matt: Alright. You know, when you're looking at all this rusty, metal stuff, you know, it's all dirty and stuff, do you see something in it? Richard: Do I see something in it? Matt: I mean, like something, like you know, like, for your art. Richard: (picking up a piece of safety glass) Oh, oh... shh. Oh my, oh, oh, I see the face of God. ( He drops it. ) Matt: Alright. Richard: I don't know, man! I don't know. You ask too many damn questions. Questions. Matt: It was one question. Richard: Gonna take a little break. Not you but... Let's get the rest of that stuff in there, alright? Matt: Yeah. [INT. Bartender's House] ( Tim exits the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth and heads to the living room where he sees Girl. ) Tim: Hey. I had to borrow your bathroom cuz mine's not working. Becky: Okay. Tim: I talked to your mom about it. She said it's cool, so... Becky: (laughs) Okay, I don't care. Hey, which one do you like better? (she holds up two dresses) The red one or the pink one? Tim: For what? Becky: I have a pageant coming up and these are kinda old but I don't think they're too short. What do you think? Tim: Yeah, I don't think I'm qualified. I think it's best to ask your mom about this kind of stuff. Becky: She's not here. And you don't need to be qualified, it's just a dress. Which one do you prefer? Tim: Where's your mom? Becky: She's working. Tim: Every night? She can't help out with this ever or what? Becky: Yeah. It's not a big deal. Okay, I can try it on for you if that's easier? Tim: What? Becky: I can try them on for you. Tim: I don't know. (he starts walking out) I don't think I.... Becky: Wait! Which one? Tim: Just, you're good. Pink for sure! Get the pink! You'll win with that. Good luck. ( And with that, he leaves. ) [INT. BAR in Clearwater] ( Richard is playing shuffleboard. ) Richard: Dah! Matt: Alright, so how about I just throw my last two pucks and then we just take off? Richard: What's your hurry? Matt: I got stuff to do. I got people I got to take care of. It's not like we're doing anything here. We're just playing shuffleboard. Richard: Alright, let's talk then. Matt: You want to talk now? Richard: I can talk. You know, I'm not a dick all the time. So talk. Talk. Matt: I don't know what to say. Richard: Start anywhere. Matt: Fine. What would you say is the most important tool for an artist to have? Richard: What's with you and all these questions? Matt: You just told me to talk. Richard: I meant, you know, talk about yourself while I secretly mock you inside my head. Matt: Oh, okay, alright, you know what? How about I just settle up our tab and then we'll take off. ( Matt sits down at the bar when Richard sits down next to him. ) Richard: Alright. Okay. Watch out. The most important tool an artist can have is selfishness. Matt: Selfishness? Richard: Yeah. It means you're gonna spend your life trying to express some quiet dark corner, deep, deep inside you. You will put aside love, God, life! In order to follow this craving. So my advice to you is to just screw everybody else and maybe you got a chance. [EXT. A bar elsewhere...] ( Eric and Buddy are sitting at a bar. ) Eric: I wrote a personal check. I've got to get that money together and I've got to get it quick. I don't know how to talk to a boosters, you do. I don't know how to ask for money. You're get at asking for money. All I'm doing is asking for your help. Buddy: I know and I'd like to Eric but I got Joe McCoy and the other guys breathing down my neck. I mean, they think I'm the one who told you about the mailbox. Eric: You are the one who told me about the mailbox. Buddy: I know! But I've got to unknow that right now. I mean, they may be having me followed! They probably got my phone tapped or maybe bugged for all I know. You know these guys, they're crazy! Eric: Yeah, they're crazy all right. Let me tell you something: Levi, now, Principal Burnwell, has informed me he's willing to shut down the football program at the high school if need be. That's what I'm up against. I'm asking you for your help. Buddy: That's terrible. And I'm sorry to say this but I cannot help you right now. I just can't. Eric: You know what, Buddy? Buddy: What? Eric: You need to polish that ring of yours. It's looking a bit tarnished. ( Eric gets up and leaves Buddy looking at his ring. ) [INT. Taylor Bathroom] ( Julie is brushing her teeth (are we sure we're not sponsored by Colgate???) while Tami stands nearby holding Grace, trying to put on the little girl's shoes. ) Julie: An earthquake in West Texas? Tami: Yeah, they have 'em. Odessa. Odessa's on the permian basin and that's a fault line, honey. They have 'em. What would you do? Would you pray? Julie: Well... Tami: (to Grace) One more, one more. ( Julie spits. ) Julie: I'd probably check on you and Gracie and Dad and then I'd stand under a doorway. Tami: Alright, I know, I hear you. That's great. That's all good but would you pray? Julie: How 'bout next time there's an earthquake in West Texas I'll let you know? [EXT. East Dillon Football Field] ( Usual suspects plus Tim. ) Eric: Come on now! Yeah! ( Focus is on Luke's POV. ) Stan: Way to bring the wood, Cafferty! Way to bring that wood! ( Some applause by various team members but Coach is distracted. ) Stan: All right! ( Pass to Vince who drops it. ) Eric: Come on! Hey, Vince, what are you doing man? You've got to make that play. You gotta catch that ball. How can you miss that? You're not gonna make that play out here today how are you gonna make that on Friday? Look at me! You can't make that play, what are you out here for? ( Whistle blows. ) Eric: Hey guys, let's bring it in! ( Tim approaches Luke. ) Tim: Luke! Hey, uh, good job. Luke: What am I, the Invisible Man out here? Did you see that? It's not like he's even seeing me work my butt off out there. Tim: What do you mean? Luke: Coach didn't even look at me. Tim: He's got a lot on his plate, that's why. Luke: I... Tim: Keep doing what you're doing though. Luke: Thank you. Thanks for noticing. ( Cut to "Girl" henceforth known as "Curly" thanks to Anmodo - standing nearby. ) Becky: Hey, Tim! I'll see ya later. Luke: Who's that? Hi! Tim: I'm renting a room from her mom, that's it. Luke: You're what? Tim: I'm renting a room from her mom. Luke: Wish I was renting a room from her mom. ( Tim stares at him. ) Luke: Just joking. [EXT. Park] ( Calvin and Vince are playing basketball. ) Calvin: Look man, you make sure he know the difference between coach and dad. Vince: He's always yelling at me you know, on the field. Telling me what to do. Pushing me. Grabbing my jersey. Trying to embarrass me in front of the rest of the team, you know what I'm saying. That's now how I get down, dude. That white boy sucks. Why's he all up in my face? Coming up where I hang out, at my house, knocking on my door, talking to my moms. And you already know my mom's situation right now. You know how I feel about that. It's alright though, it's cool though cuz he's bringing that white boy Luke on the team. He think he gonna take over supposed to be some kind of Panther's superstar or something like that. Yo, that's my spot! That's my team. I'm the Running Back, you know what I mean. Calvin: Look man! At the end of the day the white gonna stick with the white man. They're gonna look out for each other. That's what we gotta do. We gotta look out for us. A'ight. [INT. East Dillon Lions Locker Room] ( Tim is monitoring Luke doing crunches. ) Tim: Twenty-five more. Luke: Dang! Hey, Rigs. Why don't you wear your Panthers State Ring? Tim: I don't know. That's a good question. I guess I don't like rings. Luke: What was it like, going to State and winning that ring? Tim: It's pretty good, man. You gotta give this team a chance. Luke: Dude, be serious. This team is not the Dillon Panthers. The Coach doesn't like me. I mean, he's been pretty clear about that out on the field. In practice, sticking me on D, no disrespect but that's not what I do. He's mad about his wife getting all backlash for throwing me off the Panthers. I want to play football, man. I want to win a State ring. Tim: Like I said, give it a chance. Trust the coach. ( Luke looks doubtful. ) [INT. different part of weight room] Tim: Hey, Coach! Eric: What? Tim: How are ya? Eric: Good. What's up? ( Tim notes that Coach is wearing nice slacks, crisp white shirt and a red tie hanging loose around his neck. ) Tim: Where you going? Eric: I'm going to drum up some business from local business leaders in the form of cash. What do you need? Tim: Uh, as you know I've been working with Luke - a lot. And he's good. Eric: Excellent. Tim: Damn good. Eric: Alright. Tim: And I think he's worth getting a tougher look at. Eric: What's that supposed to mean? Tim: I think, I don't know where to go, he thinks you hate him is what I'm trying to say... And I'm trying to work with him... Eric: I don't have the time or resources for sensitivity training. That kid's got to get rid of the concept that we're gonna kiss his ass 24-7 cuz he's gracing us with his presence. You tell him to show up, shut up and just work him hard. I'm gonna deal with the rest later. Thanks. Tim: Yes, sir. [EXT. Park] ( Landry tries punting when Jess Merriweather walks up with some little boys. ) Landry: Ugh. Jess: Hey! Can we play? Landry: I mean, I was supposed to be working on my punting but if you all want to play afterwards or if you want to watch... Jess and Boys: Yeah! Let's do it! Landry: Okay. ( Landry tries punting a ball and it doesn't go well. ) Landry: AUGH! Boys: (laughing) Nah! You suck! Landry: That's nice. Jess: (laughing) I'm sorry. Boy: The ball's supposed to go straight. Landry: See that was actually all planned... Jess: Want some pointers? Landry: Um, do you know a lot about punting? Jess: Yeah, actually I do. Here look, you wanna... Okay, I can show you three steps alright? You wanna make sure that you keep that lean forward position so keep your head down. Make sure you ht the meat of the ball with this part of your foot, okay. So point your toes, okay. And make sure you follow through all the way with your leg. But don't be stiff. Like, loosen up, okay. But don't think! Landry: Okay. ( Landry poised to make the punt - it's waaaaay better! ) Jess: Okay! Boys: Wow! Boy: Now that was better! Boy: Yeah! Jess: (high fives to boys) I'm good, right? Yeah. Landry: How'd you know that? Jess: Right! Landry: I don't think that's ever going to happen again. Jess: It will. Landry: Especially not whenever all the thousands of screaming fans are around. Boy: What fans? Landry: I mean, one away game or something. ( Jess laughs. ) Jess: (to boys) Can you all go get the balls and stuff? Boy: Let's go! ( Boys race off. ) Jess: My little man. (to Landry) You just gotta keep doing it. Just keep doing it. Over and over. Do it thousands of times cuz you'll get that muscle memory. Just forget about the guys, the big guys charging at you, the fans, the chaos... (she closes her eyes and goes Zen) Just like zone in, inside yourself and forget it all. Let it all, the chaos just... you know, just let it go. Let it go, you know. Landry: Where'd you learn so much about football? Jess: Um, my father. He used to play football, he was a quarterback. He almost went pro, too, but now he can't stand it. Thinks its a big waste of time. Landry: Where'd you learn so much about the (he mimics her Zen look)... Did you study Buddhism? Jess: No, no, no. It's my life, you know. [INT. Taylor Living room] ( Tami's at the computer looking like she's going through the bills when Eric enters. ) Tami: Hey. How'd it go trying to get the Boosters together and all that what not? Eric: I went to about twelve of the local businesses and found out that they either don't know there's a football team or they could give a damn less. Tami: Sorry about that, honey. Eric: Yeah. Stopped over at the bar and I had a drink and I left the car over there and Alan gave me a ride home. So if you could take me... Tami: Oh, Lord. Eric: ... in the morning to get it, I'd appreciate it. Tami: All right. Okay. Eric: You know that check yesterday, you asked me about the check for the Dry Cleaners... Tami: Yeah. Eric: It wasn't for the Dry Cleaners. It wasn't for $45 dollars. It was for Under Armor. It was for gear for the team and it was for $3,000. Tami: You wrote a check for $3,000? We don't have $3,000 in our checking account! Eric: I know that but when I wrote the check, it's not a check that's gonna be run through right away so you don't have to worry about it. Tami: Well, I really would have appreciated it if you had talked to me about this. Eric: Well, I didn't have time to talk to you about this... Tami: You didn't have time to talk to me about it? ( Tami is sitting there, calmly as she can, listening to his rationale and excuses. ) Eric: No, I didn't have time to talk to you about it. I'm telling you about it now. Tami: Listen, I know that you're having a hard time but come on now, why would you not talk to me about that? Eric: Listen, if I don't write the check I don't uniforms for the team. If I don't have uniforms for the team I don't make money anyways so what the hell does it matter? If I can get the money from Burnwell who I've been talking to - which I think I can do - everything will be fine. It's just a matter of doing it. I just need time. I'm just telling you for the sake of not... Tami: Don't raise your voice. Don't raise your voice. Eric: I'm not raising my voice. Why don't you just stay calm and stop getting all riled up? ( Tami can't take anymore and stands up. ) Tami: You're gonna get your damn uniforms but in the meantime what about our accounts? you write yourself a check for $3,000 without talking to me about it, you lie to me about it, we don't have that money and then you come in here and yell at me? I don't think so. ( She exits the room leaving Eric standing there feeling the foolish man he is! ) [INT. Taylor Bedroom] ( Clock on the night stand reads 2:02 a.m. and Eric is wide awake. ) ( Clock on night stand now reads 6:20 a.m. and Eric is gone as Tami wakes up. ) ( She goes to the kitchen and there's a note on the coffee maker: "Went to pick up the car. Have a good day. Love, Me!" ) [EXT. Eric driving down a road] ( Eric has a note that reads: "Cafferty 1018 RR X18" ) Mr. Cafferty: Hey, Luke! Your football coach is here. ( Luke is bailing hay and we see his daddy is an authentic looking cowboy. Suddenly it makes sense on why his parents won't move. They won't leave the family farm/ranch. ) Mr. Cafferty: (to Coach) He's got quite a lot of work to do before he gets to school. Eric: I won't take much time at all. Mr. Cafferty: I appreciate it. Luke: Good morning, coach. Eric: How you doing? Luke: I'm alright, how you doing? Eric: Good, good. Luke: What can I do for you, Coach? Eric: I understand you're not happy at practice. Want to talk about it? Luke: Well, no disrespect, Coach but I just feel like I'm not being used. I feel like you're not even giving me a chance out there. Eric: What do you want from me? Luke: Well, first of all, I haven't even gotten a chance to play offense which is what I do. Eric: You'll get your chance. You'll get your chance when I give it to you. Listen to me, I'm trying to put a team together here. I got eighteen other players I'm trying to pay attention to here. I can't put you up on a pedestal and pay all the attention to you. Luke: Look, I want to get out of here, all right? That's why I'm playing football. I mean, this is it for me. This is all I care about, Coach. It's all I ever cared about. My parents don't help me out with stuff. They don't care football. So I was on my fast track, got to Dillon Panthers and I'm not there anymore. We don't need to talk about that. But here I am, I'm willing to kll myself cuz I want to get out of here, Coach. That's all I'm saying. I just want a chance to play ball. I want a chance to get noticed. Eric: I understand that you're a helluva player. Hell, you can run circles around most of the people out there. I understand everything you've been through. I understand what it's like to want to be a Panther. Believe me, that's not lost on me. Anything else that you need? Luke: What I need? I need a scholarship to a good school so I can get out of here. That's what I need. Eric: Listen, I'll tell you what. I will do everything in my power to get you just that if you do one thing for me. Luke: What? Eric: I need you to lead. Luke: All right. Eric: Do you understand what I'm saying? Luke: Yeah. Eric: Lead. Luke: Yeah. Alright, thank you. ( Luke extends his hand and they shake. ) Eric: You want a slap on the back, you earn it. ( Eric then pats his shoulder. ) Eric: See you out there this afternoon. Luke: Alright, see you out there. [INT. Tim Riggins' Truck] ( Tim is giving Becky a ride. ) Becky: Thanks for the ride. Tim: Yeah, you got a boyfriend? Becky: No, why? Tim: Cuz that's the guy who should be doing this. Giving you rides everywhere. Becky: Well, since you're already doing it, maybe it would be more efficient if you were my boyfriend. ( Tim gives her a look like 'you freaking kidding?' ) Becky: I'm just kidding. Tim: Hey, you ever run into that Luke Cafferty kid? Becky: Luke? Tim: Yeah, Luke. He likes you. I've been working with him on field and everything and, uh, he's just non-stop talk about you so... Becky: And? Tim: I'm just giving you a heads up you know, just in case you're interested in having a boyfriend. He's a pretty good guy. Becky: Yeah, I'll talk to him. Tim: Do it. ( She has this look on her face like she's interested in having a boyfriend but it ain't Luke. ) [INT. Coach's Office] ( Eric is at his desk when Tami enters. ) Tami: (knocks on door) Hey. ( Eric has this priceless fearful look on his face. ) Tami: Just thought I'd swing by on my way home from work. Eric: I'm sorry. Tami: I appreciate that. Eric: Doug called from Under Armor. He said he's willing to wait for the school to pay for the two thousand and the other three thousand, he's gonna take it easy on me and I will get it paid. Tami: Good. Honey, don't ever do that again. Eric: I won't. Tami: And I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. [EXT. Joe McCoy's House - Poolside] Lester: Sounds like Coach is moving up Sobel to take Luke's spot tonight. Bill: Yeah, meanwhile Luke Cafferty's on his way to being massacred in his first Lions game. What a waste. Lester: I can tell you one good things gonna come out of this, Bill, alright. McCoy's gn for Principal Taylor. Buddy: What are you talking about, Lester? Burl: McCoy will figure out a way to get that bitch outta there. Lester: There you go. Buddy: I can't even believe you, Burl. ( They laugh as Buddy walks off. ) Buddy: Hey! I got something to say to everybody! ( All eyes shift to Buddy - including Joe with that smug smile of his. ) Buddy: I hate to spoil the party but this is to everybody. You know what? I'm not a Panther anymore. You used to be my friends but I don't know who you are. I don't know what you believe in but its not the Panthers. It's not the Panthers I believed in, it's not the Panthers we grew up with. I'll tell you that right now. You what to know another thing? I'm the one who told Eric about the mailbox. ( Joe and a few Boosters exchange murmurs that their suspicions were right on. ) Buddy: Hey, I can't live with myself anymore. I put that mailbox in twelve years ago. In the middle of the night, I dug that hole and put it in. It's my mailbox! I'll do whatever I want to with it! And Joe, I tried. But ever since you got here you have been a cancer to me, you've been a cancer to my friends, and you've been a cancer to this team. And just one more thing I want to say is, clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. ( And that said, Buddy walks out. ) [EXT. Richard Sherman's Studio] ( Matt pulls up in a car with Julie and gets out. ) Matt: Sorry, I just gotta drop this off real quick. Julie: Yeah. No problem. Take your time. ( Matt disappears inside and we see he walked past Richard who's working in his yard. Julie gets out of the car and wanders around when Richard spots her. ) Richard: Who the hell are you, little girl? Julie: Um, hi, I'm Julie. Matt's girlfriend. He went inside to drop off that tool you asked him to pick up. Richard: So you're the ball and chain that keeps dragging him down. I think I married you about twenty-years ago, babe. ( He walks off and Julie stands there stunned before getting back in the car. ) [EXT. Football Field for Other Team] ( The Lions exit the bus. ) Tinker: Hey, Coach! Hey Coach, I thought we were getting new uniforms. What are we doing? Playing in our practice stuff or what? Eric: Tinker, why don't you do less talking and more thinking about the game, son. Let's go. ( Fan holds up signs mocking the team "No Lion, They're Quittin" ) [INT. Locker Room] Eric: Come on, gentlemen, let's go! Let's go! ( New uniforms are proudly presented just outside the lockers and the team is thrilled. ) Tinker: Whoo Boy! Vince: Oh, these are official right here. Players: Alright! Eric: Hey, hey, listen up! Hey, listen up, gentlemen. Listen up! They may be new but they're still work clothes. Let's go to work. Let's go, let's go to work! ( Team cheers and starts roaring. ) [INT. Restaurant] ( Matt and Julie are eating. ) Matt: All of sudden he was actually talking to me. It was the first time I had a real conversation with him. He's actually a really smart guy. He had real interesting things to say. It was crazy. Julie: Do you think I'm holding you back? Matt: No. Why? Julie: I was outside waiting for you and Richard Sherman came out and started talking to me. Matt: 'bout what? Julie: He said I was the ball and chain holding you back. Matt: No, that's... that's stupid. Hey, you're the most important thing in my life. Julie: What if that's the point? Matt: No, that's not the point. The point is he's stupid. The point is he was drunk. He don't know about us. Eat your bean curd. Julie: Alright. Matt: Alright. [EXT. Football Field] Announcer: The Lions down 27-nothing, late in the fourth. They are definitely gonna finish this one folks. Luke Cafferty on the Bronco Blitz. Hits him in the backfield. Luke Cafferty has been bringing it all night. Eric: Nice ht! Announcer: Now if the Lions could just get on the board tonight, it'd make a whole heck of a lot of difference to this football team. And it drops back in the pocket. Oh! And Howard gets brned on the wheel route ... He's got a man open! He's got the outside! OH! And Luke Cafferty makes another touchdown saving ht. Vince Howard has just gotten smoked all night long. A real disappointment after such a promising start. Stan: Stay in it! Luke: Huddle up, defense. Huddle up, defense. Vince, don't jump on the front. That's the third and ten. Vince: Who made you coach? Luke: Think about it. Vince: That's what I thought. Player: Hey, guys. Luke: Four-three, code two. Four-three, code two. Team: Ready, break! Announcer: Never say die. Never quit. 37 seconds left in the game. Let's see if Cafferty and Howard can put some pressure on this Rattler offense and make something happen. And back to pass. Eric: Stick it! Announcer: Looking to cross the middle... Fires! Ho my! Luke captured it. Interception! He's bringing it the other way! ( Crowd goes wild. ) Tami: Go! Eric: Go! Go! Announcer: Here we go, folks. He's got a line up the sideline. Jess: Go on! ( Luke is running with the ball, headed to a touchdown, with Vince just ahead as his blocker. ) Announcer: Oh man, is this kid fast. One man to b*at. He's got a blocker on front! He could go! ( Suddenly Vince stops, allowing Luke to get tackled. ) Announcer: Oh, mercy me! Vince Howard pulled up. Eric: Hey! What the hell was that? Announcer: Luke Cafferty, he's up and I'll tell you what: he's not happy about it. Vince Howard is getting an earful folks. Luke: Vince, what the hell was that? Vince: (holding up his hands) You're too fast, man. You're too fast! Luke: You're your own problem, V. You're your own problem. Eric: Vince, what was that?! What was that? Vince: I didn't have the angle, coach. ( Vince removes his helmet and argues with coach. ) Eric: What do you mean you didn't have an angle? Vince: I didn't have an angle! Eric: You could've run circles around him! Vince: ...don't waste no energy, huh, Coach? Eric: Hey, let me tell you something. You know what, you know why I always pick on you? Cuz you're good, that's why. You know why you have a problem? Cuz you're your own worst damn enemy! That's why! Vince: Fine! Get out of my face! Eric: No! You get out of my face and let me tell you something: put that damn helmet on right now. (he pulls Vince close and growls) Don't you dare talk to me like that out here. You change it right now. Or you will be out of this game so damn fast you will not ever... ( Vince pulls on his helmet. ) Vince: Yes, sir. Eric: You understand me? Vince: Yes, sir. ( Tami is watching from the stands (wearing her Lions red) watching with wide, worried eyes at how pissed Eric is at Vince. ) Eric: Landry! Landry: Yes, coach. Eric: Get out there. Get us a field goal. Get out there. Landry: Field goal! Here we go! Here we go! ( Eric shoves Vince back to the field. ) Eric: You're on the field goal team. Get in there, then! Don't you ever take that helmet off in front of me. Do you understand me? Announcer: Coach Taylor lining up for the field goal. Trying to get on the board. Clock is ticking folks. There's the snap. Oh, and it's over his head! Bouncing around the carpet. That was not pretty. Landry Clark picks it up. I don't know what he's going to do with it. Oh, he shovels it forward. Vince Howard on the outside. Oh, what a move! Just on the edge! Howard could go. This could be it folks! Oh my, touchdown! Touchdown East Dillon! Vince Howard has scored. Coach Taylor and the East Dillon Lions are on the board. ( The Lions are thrilled to score one goal!! They are so excited you wold think they hadn't just lost the game. ) Announcer: Touchdown Hallelujah. [INT. Julie's Room] ( Julie's reading in bed when Tami enters. ) Tami: Hey, how was your date? Julie: It was good. Tami: It was? Julie: It was good. Tami: I've been thinking. I think I want you to come to church with me cuz it makes me feel like family. And cuz I like having you sit next to me there, at least for a little bit longer. And I think it's good that you're questioning your faith. I just want you to have faith in something. Something that can hold you when I'm not going to be able to hold you anymore. Julie: Okay. I'll be there Sunday. ( Tami snuggles with Julie in the bed. ) Tami: I'm sorry but you're always going to be my little girl. [INT. Richard Sherman's Studio] Matt: Richard! Richard! ( Matt is scanning the area looking ready for an argument when he spots Richard's sculpture hanging up above. He stares at it in awe. Behind him he hears a snort and snore and looks over to see a passed out Richard. ) Richard: (mumbling) Hey, huh... Jesus... Matt: Hey! Get up! Richard: Ah, screw you. Matt: Alright, screw you, too. Richard: Ah...what are you doing? Matt: I'm just looking at this thing. Richard: That's a piece of crap. Matt: Yeah, well, it's a beautiful piece of crap. Richard: Thank you. Matt: Yeah, yeah. [INT. Coach and Mrs. Coach's bedroom] ( Tami enters carrying a glass of water as Eric dozes in bed. ) Eric: (his eyes closed) We'll get the money together somehow. ( Tami gets into bed, facing him. ) Tami: I know you will. Eric: I love you. Tami: I love you, too. ( Eric shuts off the light. ) Tami: And you know what? Eric: Hmm? Tami: Now that you've gotten all the way through the game, you gotta feel pretty good about that. Bet you'll sleep better tonight. ( Eric just lies there with his eyes wide open. )	{"type": "series", "show": "Friday Night Lights", "episode": "04x03 - In the Skin of a Lion"}	foreverdreaming
Hey, you got a boyfriend? No. Why? 'cause that's the guy that should be doing all this, Giving you rides everywhere. Maybe it'd be more efficient if you were my boyfriend. Got Luke here, a new player. Y'all make sure that he is welcome. You're a long way from home, boy. I guess so. I'm Julie, Matt's girlfriend. So you're the ball and chain that keeps dragging him down. Do you think I'm holding you back? No, you're the most important thing in my life. If you can't finish games, I can't keep this program going. You turn it around, or we gonna shut it down. [ cheering ] Vince howard puts the lions on the board For their first touchdown. [ cheering ] Sammy Meade: (on the radio) It's still a sad state of affairs for the Panthers. In a single week, the team got a forfeit on the books and a great player, Luke Cafferty, shipped out of school. Callers you say what? Caller: Sammy, I gotta correct you on something. That Cafferty kid wasn't shipped out. He was hand delivered by principal Taylor to East Dillon - her husband's team. And everybody knows it! ( Tami just shakes her head in disgust. ) [INT. East Dillon - Faculty Break Room] ( Eric walks in and heads to the coffee machine. Levi and other faculty are sitting at the table. ) Levi: Taylor. Eric: Morning, Levi. Levi: I see you finished a game last Friday. Way to go! Sis-boom-bah. Rah-Rah-Rah. Eric: Hey, Levi. Pep rallies. Levi: Mm...hm. Eric: Build excitement. They're good for the school, good for the team. Levi: Pep ralies don't cost, correct? Eric: Nope. Levi: (packing up his stuff) Good. Don't let me get in your way. ( Eric watches him go. ) [INT. Pizza Restaurant] ( Julie and Matt are sitting at the table while Julie types something on her laptop. ) Matt: Come on, how much re-typing do you gotta do? Just put your test scores in, tell them how awesome you are and we can move along. Julie: It's too long. I have to cut it down at least by half. ( Matt sighs, put-out. ) Julie: Did you hear that Brown used to make you hand write your essays? Matt: Wow. Well, that's so they can weed out the serial Kllers. ( She laughs. ) Matt: So what's the, uh, the final list of schools? Julie: Mm... UC Berkley, UCSB, Brown, Amherst... Um, Mount Holyoke, NYU, U.T. Austin - (she throws up her fingers into a horn) Hook 'em horns. ( He just sits and watches her, look sad and frustrated. ) [EXT. East Dillon Football Field] ( Practice is in session. ) Stan: Fumble. Assistant Coach: Good splits, good splits. Come off the ball, now. Come off the ball! Eric: Step up! Come on up! Player: Oh, man! Assistant Coach: Fumble! Come on now, Five. Eric: Get it together out there. Luke: Do you know how to read the 'D Man' Vince: The defensive end didn't move Luke: He did move! Vince: Next time give me the ball and get out of my way. Coach: Come here. Shut up! Shut your mouth. Come here. (to Luke) You read the end. (to Vince) You stay in the pitch lane. You keep your personal crap off this field. And you quit letting me down and quit letting the team down. Cuz we are all getting tired of it. Is that understood? Luke: Yes, sir. Vince: Yes, sir. Eric: Let's go now. Come on. Assistant Coach: Come on, in the huddle. Good fake in there, let's go! Vince: What the hell? You trying to be funny? Luke: I don't understand. Why aren't you in the end zone? I got out of your way. ( Stan and the Asst. Coach break them up. Clearly Coach's words went in one ear and out the other. ) Vince: You're my problem right now. Luke: No you're the problem Assistant Coach: That's enough! ( Eric looks over to see a rusted out sign that reads "Dillon High 1983 State Champions" ) ( Don't you just love our theme song?? ) [INT. Mindy and Billy's House] ( Mindy and Tim hanging at the table when Tim bursts in carrying rfles. ) Tim: Yeah! Deer and beer, here we come. Two days away. Let's get after it, Billy. Mindy: What the hell are you doing? This is how accidents happen. Tim: Minds, I don't think they're loaded. We're fine. Billy: No, Tim. Put 'em in the corner or something, alright. She's not supposed to have any stress right now. Tim: Where's the gn cleaner? Mindy: Why do you have to clean your gn? Tim: Wait. Billy: What are you doing? Tim: You didn't tell her did you? Mindy: I totally see now. So y'all just get to go hunting and get drunk and leave me here by myself. Billy: No, no, no. Mindy: I have an ultrasound this week. Billy: I understand that and I want to be there for that ultra... Mindy: So I just get to shove this fat ass behind a steering wheel and drive myself to the doctor. Is that what's going to happen? Billy: Honey, I will be there for that ultrasound, okay? Timmy and I can go hunting anytime. Tim: No we can't. That's why it's called 'hunting season', Billy. Billy: Seriously, I'm gonna put your head through a wall. Would you shut up? ( Tim shts his brother a 'whatever' look and struts out carrying his two rfles while Billy throws his head back in frustration. ) [EXT. East Dillon Football Field] ( Practice ends. ) [INT. East Dillon Lions Locker Room] ( Luke is changing and realizes he can't find his wallet. ) Luke: All right, jokers. Who took my wallet? Player: I don't know man. Luke: Seriously. It's not funny. Vince: You know what I do when I lose something? I retrace my steps. Maybe that's what you should do. Player: Yeah. Vince: Retrace 'em. Luke: I didn't lose it. It was in my locker and now it's missing. Vince: I mean, you want us to get together? We can help you look for it if you want. Luke: Cut the crap. Seriously. I'm not going to tell you again. Give me my wallet back. Vince: You're so sure I took it. Luke: Mmm..hmm. Vince: (he slams his own locker shut) Go on and get it then. ( Luke moves to Vince's locker when Vince intercepts him, team moves in to stop the fight. ) Players: Whoa! Vince: Get off! [INT. Coach's Office] ( Luke and Vince are standing in front of Coach's desk. ) Eric: I've got a pep rally to organize. I've got papers to grade. I've got a family to raise. I've got a wife to love. And then I've got you two Bozos - trying to teach you two something you seem just damn determined not to learn. (to Luke) What makes you think he took your wallet? Luke: It's obvious, Coach. Eric: It's obvious. Well, you're gonna make a hell of a lawyer, aren't you? (to Vince) Do you know where his wallet is? Vince: No, sir. Eric: You don't know where his wallet is. Luke: This is a bunch of bull, Coach. Eric: Hey, Coach Crawley! Assistant Coach: Yes, sir. Eric: Coach, would you take these two gentlemen to the gymnasium. Have them run those stairs for the next thirty minutes or until a wallet shows up. Whichever one might come first. Assistant Coach: You bet. Eric: Thank you, Coach. Y'all enjoy. Assistant Coach: Come on, boys. ( They boys follow Crawley outside. ) Eric: (removes his hat) Ja'gummit. [INT. Pizza Parlor] ( Tim's boxing up pizza when Tim wanders in to collect his pizza pie. ) Tim: Seven. Matt: Riggs, what's up? Tim: Slinging dough instead of sixty yard bmb now, huh? No Chicago? Matt: Nah, kinda felt like I should stay here and take care of my grandma. Tim: Right. Matt: No San Antonio? Tim: Negative. Matt: What else is new? Tim: You playing any ball? Matt: No, not really. Been working with this artist on some art stuff. Yeah. And working here, you know. Tim: Right. Matt: You gonna be watching any football this weekend? ( Matt sets his pizza down in the box and before he can close it, Tim removes a slice. ) Tim: No, I'm going hunting this weekend, my friend. Matt: Oh, yeah? Tim: Get me some white tail. Maybe wrestle down some boars. Matt: Nice. Tim: That's my weekend. Matt: All right. Tim: Anyways, it's good to see you. Matt: You too, buddy. Tim: Let's go for a beer sometime. Matt: Yeah, sure. ( Tim starts to leave when Matt calls him back. ) Matt: Hey, Riggins, actually um... Is it cool if maybe I go hunting with you this weekend? Tim: You hunt? Matt: Well, I mean, my dad took me a couple of times when I was little. Tim: Thursday morning, 5:15. Matt: All right. Tim: See you there. Matt: Yeah, man. Tim: Thank you. [INT. East Dillon High Hallway] ( Jess is walking with two of her friends when she spots Landry walking with Devin. ) Jess: It's nasty. Friend: It's nothing but used goods. Jess: Landry! Landry: Hey, what's going on? You know, Dev. Jess: Hello. Devin: Hi. Jess: Hi. Landry: How are you doing? Jess: You have a car. (she looks at Devon) He ht me with it. Landry: Yeah, everyone knows... Devin: I heard about it. Landry: Yeah, we all know about it. Jess: I think you should use that car to drop me and my friends off to this party in Kilroy tomorrow. Yeah. Landry: That's an idea. ( Devin gives him a 'haven't you been this guy before' look. ) Landry: Although, I think I might have to decline because I've kinda been down that road before where a girl asks me to do something and I just kinda say yes...And then everyone's calling me a word that I don't like to use... Jess: You're invited to the party. (looks at Devin) You are, too. Landry: Oh, I didn't. You could have just said that to begin with... Devin: Thank you for the invitation. Jess: So you cool? You wanna come? Landry: Yeah. I think that sounds great. Jess: Yeah? Landry: Sounds great. Jess: It's gonna be a lot of fun. Landry: It's going to be fun. Jess: Alright, see you later. Landry: Okay, bye. ( Jess walks off. ) Devin: Okay. Landry: Alright. Devin: So you're going to go to a party in Kilroy! Landry: Yeah, I am. What is that? Why with that tone? [INT. Beauty Pageant Interview] Becky: But I have to tell you that when I die, I hope that people will say that she gave more than she took. That would be true success to me. ( We see she is talking to a panel for Miss Teen Texas. ) [INT. Hallway] ( Bartender mom is pacing. ) Becky: Mom! I'm in!! Bartender Mom: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! ( Hugs. ) [EXT. Parking Lot] Bartender Mom: I could not be any prouder of you, Becky. You make it look so easy and it's not. It's not easy at all. It's such hard work. Becky: Thanks mom. Bartender Mom: You know what? You need a new gown. Becky: Yeah? Bartender Mom: Absolutely. Yeah, uh, a portrait neckline. Becky: I know. How about tomorrow, before my shift, we could find the perfect dress, the perfect shoes and then get a bite to eat. Becky: (beaming) Yeah. Bartender Mom: Yeah? Becky: Yeah, tomorrow's great. Bartender Mom: Okay. I can't wait to watch those other girls eat your dust. [EXT. Julie and Devin are walking to Julie's car] Devin: I gotta ask you something and I need you to not be weird about it. Julie: What's up? ( They get into Julie's car. ) Devin: There's this place right outside of Dillon called Steers. And I was wondering if you'd go there with me? Julie: Steers? Devin: It's... It's gay. I mean, it's a gay place. Julie: Are you hitting on me? Devin: No, you're not my type. Julie: Oh, I'm not you're type. Devin: Look, I just need somebody to go there with me. This is a new experience, it's kinda weird. It'd be nice to have a friend go with me. Julie: I'll go. See what you're type is like. [INT. Tami is in the Superintendent's Office] Tami: Well, I think where we need to focus all our attention on right now is the library, library, library. It's been since 2005 since we've had any updates. It's where we should focus our funds. Superintendent: Yeah, but uh, you know, I'm really sorry but our budget is already tapped out. Maybe we can do this next year. Tami: But no, I mean, we had actually pushed it last year and we had talked about that this would be where our focus was this year so... Sup: Look, there are a lot of people who are pretty angry out there, Tami. I mean, you realize that a substantial portion of the school's revenue is generated by football, don't you? Tami: Oh, so you mean people are angry because I told Luke Cafferty that he had to go to the correct school for his district? That's why we're not gonna get our library? That seems like a shame to me. Sup: Look, after what you did with Luke, we're gonna be lucky to reach half the normal amount this year. I mean, you cost yourself and the school any chance we might've had to improve that library. Now, I'm sorry, Tami but if you'll excuse me I do have another meeting. [EXT. Parking Lot] ( Tami exits the meeting to find "Panther Hater" spray painted on her car. ) Tami: What? [INT. Taylor House] ( Eric and Stan are sitting at the dining room table making phone calls. ) Stan: Hello, Mr. R.C. Collins, Class of '79? Mr. Collins, I would like to talk to you about football. I would like to talk to you about East Dillon High football and Coach Eric Taylor. Hello? Eric: Try the next one. Tami: How's it going? Eric: Good. Tami: What are you doing exactly? Eric: We're looking up alumni from East Dillon Lions of past to try and get them to join the Pep Rally. Stan: Yeah, you're husband had the inspired idea to make the Pep Rally a sort of homecoming. Tami: That is inspired. Eric: The Lions of East Dillon are not roaring. Stan: He's not home. Eric: Try the 9-3-4 Tami: Honey, honey, come here. Stan: Hello, is this Mr. Eddie Boar? Class of '79? ( Eric joins Tami in the kitchen. ) Tami: Honey, you need food. Eric: Huh? Tami: You need food for these people. If you want to bring people in, you've got to make them some food. Just like we do. Just like we've always done. Eric: You offering to cook dinner? Tami: (looks up to the heavens) Oh, Lordy. Perhaps I am. (looks at Eric) Perhaps I am offering to cook dinner, Babe. Yeah, Mm...hmm. Eric: Thank you. Tami: Mm..hmm. Eric: Thank you. Tami: You're welcome. Stan: (watching them) That's real sweet. Eric: It's good, thanks. (shts Stan a look) Alright. Tami: Alright, well I'm gonna get myself ready for school. Y'all good luck! ( Julie emerges carrying Gracie. ) Julie: Hi. Stan: I'm Stan Traub. Assistant Coach. Julie: I'm Julie. Daughter. Nice to meet you. [INT. Becky's house] Becky: Hey mom! Mom, are you ready to go? ( Becky finds a note on table with some cash: "B - Had to go to work. Buy something FABULOUS! - Mom" ) [EXT. Tim's trailer] ( Becky knocks on Tim's door. ) Tim: What? Becky: (opens the door) Can I borrow your truck? Tim: No. Becky: Please? Tim: You can't borrow it. You don't even have your license. Becky: I know how to drive. Tim: I don't care. Becky: (hurt) Thanks. Tim: What's wrong? Becky: My mom blew me off. Again. [EXT. Taylor patio] ( Matt and Julie are playing Scrabble. ) Matt: There is a gay bar in Dillon? Julie: It's not in Dillon. It's outside of Dillon. Matt: Same difference. Julie: Mr. Matthew, Z-A is not a word. Matt: Z-A is a word and if you look at it, it spells ZA. As in pizZA. It's vernacular in certain places but wait, you're trying to... Julie: You are such a liar! Matt: No, no, don't try and distract me from the... Julie: ... just cuz it has a Z you will not use it. Matt: ... fact that you are going to a gay bar. What are you going to do at a gay bar? Julie: Dance and make out with some chicks. Matt: I knew it. I knew you wanted to experiment. Julie: No. I'm going for Devin to be her moral support. Matt: Whatever. I don't even care. I'm going hunting with Riggins anyway. Julie: That's a joke. You're going hunting with Riggins? Matt: It's not a joke. Julie: So you're just gonna go sht some poor defenseless animals just for the fun of it? Matt: Yeah, well, uh, to eat. Julie: You are such so much better than that. Why would you stoop to that level? Matt: No, I'm not. I'm not better than that. Julie: It's barbaric. It's disgusting. Matt: Hold on. Hold the phone. I live in Dillon and people in Dillon what they do is go hunting and sht animals. This is just the way it works. Julie: That's just an awful excuse, first of all. And second of all, I live in Dillon. I don't go hunting. Matt: You don't live in Dillon for long. (mumbles) Need a word... Julie: Is this about my college applications? Matt: No. It's not about your college applications... It's not even about you. I don't know why think everything's about you. [INT. Dress shop] ( Becky is looking at dresses and Tim is looking bored. ) Becky: (flipping through the dress rack) No, no, no... All of this says runner-up. None of this is good. Tim: I'm sure your mom wanted to be here for this. Becky: Yeah, or she hooked up with some dude. You know, whatever. Tim: Hey, look, cut her some slack. I'm sure she... Becky: Don't! Because every time something really important comes along - every time - she does this. She has an emergency or a date or she takes another shift at that stupid bar. Tim: (wants to change subject) Hey look, this one's nice. It's pretty. Becky: You think it's pretty? Tim: Yeah? Becky: Is that a portrait neckline? Tim: Uh, yeah. Becky: Oh my God, this is stupid. You don't even know. Can we go, please? Tim: No, hey. We can't go. We're here, we gotta pick something. And what's that saying? Doesn't the dress find you? Becky: Can we please just go? This is... just a dumb idea. Tim: I'm gonna tell you something, alright? And you can't tell it to anyone else. My mother never took me shopping for a pageant gown. And because of that, I never placed in Miss Texas. That's why I got into football. That's a fact. ( She laughs and he wraps his arm around her. ) Tim: This is what we're gonna do. We're gonna start with the wheels and then we'll work our way up. ( Becky is giving him that 'I want you Tim Riggins' look. ) Tim: By then, hopefully they'll have a new shipment of dresses in. [EXT. Ray's BBQ Restaurant] ( All the girls pile into Landry's car. ) Jess Friend 1: Hey Landry! Landry: Hey! Jess Friend 1: Y'all look at his shirt. Jess Friend 2: Oh, my God. Landry: How's it going? Jess Friend 2: What does he have on? Landry: All right, you all ready for some good old fashioned revelry? ( Three of Jess' friends pile into the backseat. ) Jess Friend 2: What's this music? Landry: Oh? I'm glad you like it. It's actually, it's this local band and their name is Crucifixtorious. Jess Friend 2: Do we have to listen to this the whole ride? I'm just saying... ( Jess enters the car. ) Jess: Hey. Landry: Wow. You look nice. Jess: Oh, thanks. What's this music? ( She reaches for the radio. ) Landry: Here, hold on, just give it a second... ( She clicks on a hip-hop station as the other girls touch Landry's hair. ) Jess Friend 1: Feel his hair. It's like grass. Landry: Wow. [EXT. House Party] ( Party in full swing. Landry is all smiles as he dances with a group of girls. Meanwhile, Jess walks through the house with Vince hot on her heels. ) Vince: Jess, you're looking really good tonight. Surprised to see you here. ( Judging by the look on her face, she feels the same way. ) Jess: Really? Vince: What's up with you? What's your problem? Jess: I ain't got a problem with you. Vince: Mm...hmm. Jess: Think I'm the only person who sees how disposable you treat girls. Vince: Well, I can only treat a girl how she allows me to treat her. Maybe I've been talking to the wrong girls. Jess: K, now see you're trying to piss me off. Vince: Just sitting here frontin' like you don't think about me? Not even a little bit? Jess: You wish I thought about you. I have a boyfriend. Vince: Oh, you got a boyfriend? ( Jess walks over and starts dancing with Landry while Vince watches. ) Calvin: What's up with that, man? I know that ain't that Opie-looking dude I ht in football practice is it? Vince: Yeah, that's him. Calvin: Looks to me like Jess is hitting that now. [INT. Bar] ( Buddy and Eric are sitting at the bar, sipping beers. ) Buddy: (taking shts) It's over. I'm not a Panther anymore. And it makes me --- I feel ill. I don't know why I'm saying this to you. You know what it's like to be a Panther and have it taken away from ya. I'm sorry about it. I'm sorry about all of it, Eric. Eric: Tami and I are having some East Dillon alumni over this week for dinner. Why don't you come over and join us? Buddy: You can't fake "Boosterism," Eric. It comes from the heart. That's the beauty of it. [EXT. East Dillon High School] Vince: Hey, what's up, Landry? I was surprised to see you at the party last night. Did you have fun? Landry: That was fun. It was a lot of fun. Someone spilled something on my shoes. Vince: Oh, that's too bad. Landry: Other than that, it was fun. Vince: Yeah, how a good time? There was dancing and stuff. Landry: Yeah, I had a good time. Vince: You had a good time with Jess? Landry: Yeah, I mean, you know, just as... you know I was just a ride. Vince: Really? Cuz she told me you were her boyfriend. Landry: Is... No. I'm definitely not her boyfriend. She said that? Vince: Yeah, she did. Landry: No. That's crazy. Vince: You're not lying to me are you? Landry: No. I'm not. And that's news to me. Vince: Alright. You good. (starts walking away and pats Landry on the shoulder) Be safe, man. Landry: Okay. [INT. Ray's BBQ Restaurant] ( Coach gets in line to order. ) Eric: Hey, how you doing? Ray: Hey. Eric: Uh... Ray: What'll it be? Eric: You're not by chance Virgil Merriweather? 1983 State Championship? Quarterback? East Dillon Lions? Ray: (ignoring the questions) What'll it be? Eric: Oh, I'll have a, uh, pound of brisket if you would, please. I'm Eric Taylor. I'm the new coach over at East Dillon. Ray: $8.50 ( As Eric gets his wallet, we see Jess in the background sweeping as she overhears the conversation. ) Eric: You don't by chance rent this place out for events or anything do you? Ray: Nope. Eric: Well, that's too bad. We got our first pep rally, homecoming coming up. Ray: That's nice. Eric: Look, this may sound odd but my wife and I are having a dinner party for some ex-Lions players. Ray: Nope. Eric: I got some really great kids on my team. They're good kids and they could sure use someone like you to come over and speak some words to 'em. Ray: Brisket will be out in a few. [INT. J.D. McCoy's fancy ride] ( J.D. is driving with Luke in the passenger seat and two other players in the back. ) Player 1: Hey, Luke, let me get this straight, man. This guy steals your wallet and you don't do anything about it. Luke: What do you want me to do? Player 2: Get your wallet back. Player 1: Yeah. J.D.: Look, Luke, I know East Dillon is like a prison or whatever, but I didn't think you'd become someone's bitch. ( J.D. and the other guys laugh. ) Player 1: Hey, I know, right? ( Luke spots Vince walking along the street. ) Luke: Stop the car. J.D.: What? Luke: Stop the car. ( J.D. pulls over, blocking Vince's path and Luke gets out. ) Vince: I see you brought your boyfriends with you to help look for your wallet. Luke: Why don't you shut up and give it back? Vince: You don't know when to quit do you? ( Luke knocks the plate of food that Vince was carrying. Vince reacts by punching Luke and fight ensues. ) Player 1: Oh! There you go, Luke. Take him down. Vince: Don't know when to quit! ( Here the sound of a police siren so J.D. and the other players run back to the car. ) J.D.: Cops, come on, let's go! Player 1: Go, go, go! Player 2: Forget him, let's go! Officer: Break it up! Break it up, boys! Officer: Get up! Get up! Officer: I said break it up. [INT. Taylor Dining Room] ( The Taylor's are entertaining some alumni. Wine and food are in abundance. ) Tami: Hey, Deacon, how long have you been over there at Bethel Baptist? Deacon: 18 years. Tami: That's a long time. Deacon: Coach Taylor, can I ask you something? Eric: Yes, sir. Deacon: Why are we here? Damon: Oh, Lord have mercy, Deacon. I'm trying to enjoy my meal here. Man. Eric: No, it's uh, it's a good question. Listen, I just started coaching at this school. I would imagine that you would think of it as your high school, too. With that said, we are facing - I am facing a lot of challenges over there. And we've got some problems that I want to... Deacon: Listen, with all due respect, people from your part of town pretty frequently tell us about our problems. Our crime problem. Our education problems. You know how we got these problems? Back in the 80s, the west Side of Dillon got developed. They got the mall, they got the hotel, the west side of Dillon got the money. Mo: And what did we get? Deacon: We got forgotten. Damon: We got our high school closed. Deacon: And so listen, we thank you for your hospitality but, uh, I think I'm gonna skip that lecture about our problems. Tami: Well, uh, I know nobody needs a lecture here that's for sure. Eric: That's right. Tami: Um, I think the truth is we just... We just wanted to get to know you all a little bit better and I was just hoping that y'all would get to know my husband a little bit better. Because if there is one thing about this man, he loves football. He loves football, he loves those boys out there, he lives and breathes it, you know. It's family to us. Eric: Fact of the matter is, it's pretty damn hard playing football when you've got nobody out there appreciating the effort that you're putting into it. Deacon: You like losing with everybody watching? Eric: Well, Deacon, that's what we're trying to fix. Trying to fix that. ( Doorbell rings and Tami gets up to answer it. ) Buddy: Hello? Tami: Oh! Hey, Buddy. How are you? Buddy: How are you? You're looking more and more beautiful. Tami: Well, thank you. ( Eric cringes, wondering if this was the worst idea ever. ) Mo: (grinning) Is that Buddy Garrity? Eric: You know Buddy? Mo: Do I know Buddy? Damon: Oh, oh, oh. Tami: Y'all, this is Buddy Garrity. Mo: Buddy Garrity! ( The men are suddenly all giddy and laughing - the atmosphere has changed and it's all good. ) Buddy: Mo Hall! You've got to be kidding me! Big Mo! Damon: Ain't nobody ht harder than Buddy Garrity. I'll tell you that. Eric: Hey Buddy! Buddy: Damon Gaston! Damon: Hey, brother. Buddy: Good to see you. Eric: Honey, Buddy's here! Tami: Buddy's here! Eric: Hey! Buddy: Hello Coach! Eric: How are you? Buddy: I'm fine. Eric: It's good to see you. Deacon: What's going on, Buddy? Buddy: Good to see you, good to see you. Buddy: Hello Deacon. [INT. Steers - Gay Bar] ( Devin and Julie are sitting at the bar drinking sodas. ) Julie: So is this what you were expecting it to be like? Devin: Not exactly. But I really like the lighting in here. ( Julie laughs. The place is cheesy looking. ) Devin: I just don't know how anybody meets anybody. Julie: You are asking the wrong person. Devin: But you've got the forever boyfriend, you know. Julie: Yeah, well, forever boyfriend is... I don't know. It's like he seems pissed off about like the stupidest thing and then we get into ridiculous arguments that go absolutely nowhere ad it's like... ( Devin isn't listening but making eye contact with a cute girl across the room. ) Julie: It's like I don't know how to fix us. It's like something that's broken or I don't know... (realizing that Devin is preoccupied) You're not even paying attention. What are you looking at? Devin: Stop. Don't look over there. Julie: Is that your type? She's cute. Devin: I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Don't flirt while I'm gone, okay? Julie: You know me. Stan: Almost what? ( Julie turns to see Stan playing pool and waves hello. He realizes who she is and then abruptly stops, puts away the pool cue and exits, leaving Julie sitting there wondering what just happened. ) [INT. Taylor Living Room] ( Eric is dozing on the sofa with a Teddy bear as a pillow. ) Eric: I was gonna help you with those dishes, but I somehow got stuck to the couch. Tami: Mm..hmm, so it seems. (she snuggles up against him) Thank you so much but I think got it. Eric: I almost made it back in there. I just got a little tired here. Tami: I heard Deacon Malone say he was gonna make some calls for you. Eric: That's because you make a damn good steak is what it is. Hey. Tami: Mmm? Eric: Thanks for tonight. Tami: Don't thank me, thank Buddy Garrity. Eric: Buddy Garritty ate all my damn steak. Tami: He sure did. Eric: Hey, you know what? Tami: Mmm? Eric: You're good at what you do. You were a lot of hats. Tami: Thank you. ( Phone rings. ) Eric: (looks at caller ID) It's not Buddy. Hello? Yes, sir. [INT. Police Station] Officer: The white kid, he's got no record. He can go. The black kid, he's going to juvie. Eric: His name is Vince. Has he made mistakes? Hell yeah, the kid's made mistakes. You know what though? He shows up. He gets the job done. He works hard. I can vouch for him. All I'm asking is give him a second chance. Officer: Coach, he's used up his chances. Eric: Can I see them? [INT. Holding Cell] ( Officer opens door to let them in. ) Eric: (to officer) Thank you. Vince: Coach, I can explain. Eric: Shh! ( He waits until the officer is gone. ) Eric: Just listen, we are at a crossroads right now. (looks at Luke) You are gonna admit that everything was your fault. Luke: My dad... Eric: Quiet! (to Vince) You are gonna cut the tough guy crap. You're both gonna say exactly what I say. And we are gonna fix this. Understood? Vince: Yes, sir. Luke: Yes, sir. [INT. Coach's car] ( Eric pulls up alongside a barren road and stops. ) Eric: You get one chance in life, fellas. You either take advantage of it or you piss it away. You do the latter, and you're gonna regret it the rest of your lives. Get out. Get out of the car. ( He drives away, leaving Luke and Vince to walk home. ) Vince: He really took off. He really did. Luke: Hey, Howard. It's this way. Vince: You sure? Luke: Yeah. Vince: Thanks. ( It's unclear if he means for the directions or for taking the blame for the fight. ) Luke: Yeah. ( Vince hands Luke his wallet. Luke shakes his head and scoffs but accepts it. ) [EXT. Jess' house as her little brothers (Andre, Caleb and Darius) run towards Ray's BBQ] Boys: Go, go, go, go, go! Jess: Caleb, go ahead and bat him! ( The boys run down the street. ) Jess: Be careful with that! Ray: Lunches! Line up, line up! Ah-ah! (hands them each a bag) Pop! Pop! Pop! (pulls them into a hug) Hey, hey, come on over here, boys. Come on over here, what you got? (releases them) Ah! Got get 'em boys! Hurry up! Catch that bus, now. Catch 'em now! Jess: Go get 'em! Daddy, they got Pop Warner practice after school today. Ray: Okay. You take your brothers and I'll make sure they get a ride with Mrs. Turner, okay? Jess: Okay. You think maybe you can stop by just for a second? Ray: Look, look. Go on before you miss the bus. Jess: Dad, I, uh, I heard what Coach Taylor was talking to you about the other day. Ray: That ain't your business, Jess. Jess: Daddy, okay, look I'm sorry I like football. Okay? Andre loves football. Darius loves it so much he throws up because he gets so nervous before his game. But it's fine, it really is. It's not your thing anymore. But, it's still in us. We're still a football family. Ray: Jess, it ain't for you to decide. Jess: Daddy, I'm not trying to decide anything. I'm just asking if we can hold the Pep Rally here. It'd be fun, Dad. Ray: Get on before you miss the bus. Go ahead and take the boys to school. Jess: Yes, sir. [EXT. Texas woods] ( Our boys are walking through the woods carrying their rfles. ) Tim: I'm hoping we get something over that fre tonight. So keep the eyes peeled, light feet. Matt: What kinds of things do you think we're gonna get? Tim: White tail, boar. ( Matt steps forward, aims and fires his gn at something twice while Tim falls back into a bush. ) Tim: Seven, Stop! Matt: What? Tim: What was it? Matt: Well, I, well, I don't know. Tim: What do you mean you don't know? The wind? Matt: I thought, I thought I saw something but I think it might've been the wind. Tim: So you're sh*ting... (takes the rfle from Matt) Gimme that! Matt: Hey! Tim: No gn! No gn! Matt: Really? Well, let me have my gn back. [INT. Tami's car] Sammy Meade: Well, this has turned into the slamming Tami show. Caller go ahead. Caller: Sammy, this year the Panther's were destined for greatness. Sammy Meade: That is true. Caller: No we gotta run the table just to make the playoffs. Sammy Meade: You may right there as well my friend. Caller: Let me tell you something, you ask me, Tami Taylor should send her resignation and a written apology Sammy Meade: Well, I can't disagree with you on any of those points though... Caller: She might have cost us that first game Sammy Meade: That is true... Caller: That's on her. Sammy Meade: I agree with you. Caller: She's making a mess out of this whole situation. I don't think she... Tami: Come on, y'all. I did what was right. I did what I had to do. I'm sorry I messed up football for everybody! Sammy Meade: I don't think she could handle... You've got to give up... [EXT. Lamme's Candies] ( We see Tami walking into the shop. ) Tami: Hey, I need some chocolate, please. [INT. East Dillon Hallway] ( Jess is at her locker when Landry approaches. ) Landry: Hey, Jess! Jess: Hey. Landry: How's it going? So am I your boyfriend? Cuz it really seemed like Vince thought that I was your boyfriend. He said that that's what you said. Jess: I didn't say that to him at all. I just said I had a boyfriend. Landry: Oh. I just wanted to clear that up. Jess: But it's not like we're dating... Landry: No. Jess: So what does it really matter? We're not. Landry: Okay, 100% not. Okay. Jess: All right, see you later! [EXT. Texas woods at night] ( Tim and Matt are by the campfire drinking beers and chatting. ) Tim: College. I'll tell you what college was like. 7 am mandatory wake-up. Then these fantastic one-on-ones with this robotic coach that tells you what you're doing wrong every single day - nothing like Coach Taylor. We were spoiled. Plus, college is boring. They gave us a curfew every night. Matt: Did you miss Lila though? Tim: I think we had different paths. Matt: So, does that mean yes? Tim: Yeah. Matt: Yeah. Tim: Yeah. What about you? How's Dillon Tech? Matt: It's okay. Not as bad as I thought it'd be. I mean, I'm getting to spend a lot of time with my grandma so that's good. And I make a lot more money delivering pizza with tips and stuff than I used to make over at the Alamo Freeze. Tim: So basically you stayed in Dillon cuz of Jules? Matt: Yeah. Tim: Yeah. Matt: And now she's applying to colleges and stuff, right. And I knew that was gonna happen I obviously knew she was gonna go to college but I guess I never realized that all the colleges she was going to be applying to were like, um, the other side of the country. And now, I just start getting made at her for no reason. It's like I resent it but she never asked me to stay here, you know. That was my decision. I was the one who decided to do that. I decided that. Well, Texas forever, right? Tim: Yes. Absolutely. Texas forever, Seven. ( They toast. ) [EXT. Pep Rally for East Dillon] ( Eric and Tami exit their car with baby Gracie - all clad in East Dillon RED ) Eric: I don't know why he changed his mind. Tami: Well, I think it's going to be a great pep rally. Eric: We'll see about that. What your step. Tami: Hey, if it's not great, you still get to come home with us. ( They kiss. ) Eric: There's always that. Tami: There's always that, right? Eric: Let's go. Tami: (to Grace) We're gonna go have fun. [EXT. Ray's BBQ - Pep Rally] ( People are hanging out, blues music playing the background while Dillon girls (cheerleaders?) are performing a routine. ) Julie: Hey. Stan: Hey. Where's your brisket? Julie: Oh, um, I don't eat meat. Stan: Oh, come on. Let me go get you a plate. Julie: Oh, it's okay. I actually kinda wanted to talk to you about the other night. Um, I just wanted to let you know that I'm not gonna tell anybody or anything. Stan: Tell anybody what? Julie: Uh...? Eric: (announcing) I wanted to thank everybody for coming out to East Dillon's first Pep Rally of the year. Julie: Oh, it's okay. Eric: I'd like to introduce one of Texas' great high school football teams. 1983 State Champions from East Dillon High. And what they brought home to this school 26 years ago. Come on up, guys! ( The men from the dinner party plus a few others come out in their old jersey's carrying the State Trophy. ) Deacon: Let us pray. Lord, we are gathered here today for a reason. We ask you, Lord, what is a group of Lions? It is a pride. And we stand before you today, Lord, your pride. We need pride in this world. And what do we have here? I say what do we have here? Crowd: Pride! Deacon: We are the Lions and we stand together. Who are we? Crowd: LIONS! Deacon: Who are we?! Crowd: LIONS! ( Applause and cheering. ) [INT. Ray's BBQ kitchen] ( Landry is helping Jess clean up. She hands him a tray. ) Jess: This, uh, put his somewhere. I never really wash this, it's... it's kind of weird... ( Landry moves closer. ) Jess: Landry? ( Landry just grabs Jess and kisses her - a long kiss. ) Landry: We're not dating right? Jess: Definitely not. Landry: No. Jess: No. ( Agreed, he leaves. ) [EXT. Tim and Matt are driving home] [INT. Matt's house] ( Matt's mom is cleaning out the fridge. ) Matt's Mom: Lorraine, I'm tossing this half and half. Grandma: Well, all right but we're gonna have to go to the store. I cannot drink coffee without cream. Matt's Mom: Well, me neither. Grandma: Oh, I remember how you took your coffee. ( Knock at door. ) Grandma: Well, who could that be? Matt's Mom: I don't know. Grandma: You failed me. ( Matt's mom answers it and reveal two men in full military uniform with grim expressions. Cut to a distraught Grandma. ) [EXT. Taylor House] ( Tim drops Matt off. ) Matt: Thanks. Tim: Yeah. ( Matt knocks on door. ) Matt: Hey, uh, I'm sorry, you know, that I just stopped by but, uh, (notices Julie's tears) What's the matter? Julie: Have you talked to your mom? Matt: Why? Is something wrong with Grandma? Julie: I'm sorry. Matt: What's the matter? Julie: It's your dad. He was klled. ( Julie cries and pulls him into a hug. ) Julie: Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.	{"type": "series", "show": "Friday Night Lights", "episode": "04x04 - A Sort of Homecoming"}	foreverdreaming
In this episode: Jon Arryn, the Hand of the King, is dad. King Robert Baratheon plans to ask his oldest friend, Eddard Stark, to take Jon's place. Across the sea, Viserys Targaryen plans to wed his sister to a nomadic wrlord in exchange for an army. [First scene opens with three Rangers riding through a tunnel, leaving the Wall, and going into the woods. (Eerie music in background) One Ranger splits off and finds a campsite full of mutilated bodies, including a child hanging from a tree branch. A birds-eye view shows the bodies arranged in a shield-like pattern. The Ranger rides back to the other two.] WAYMAR ROYCE: What d’you expect? They’re savages. One lot steals a goat from another lot and before you know it, they’re ripping each other to pieces. WILL: I’ve never seen wildlings do a thing like this. I’ve never seen a thing like this, not ever in my life. WAYMAR ROYCE: How close did you get? WILL: Close as any man would. GARED: We should head back to the wall. ROYCE: Do the dad frighten you? GARED: Our orders were to track the wildlings. We tracked them. They won’t trouble us no more. ROYCE: You don’t think he’ll ask us how they died? Get back on your horse. [GARED grumbles.] WILL: Whatever did it to them could do it to us. They even klled the children. ROYCE: It’s a good thing we’re not children. You want to run away south, run away. Of course, they will behead you as a deserter … If I don’t catch you first. Get back on your horse. I won’t say it again. [WILL glares, but obeys. Sometime later, the three Rangers return to the campsite, which is now completely cleared.] ROYCE: Your dad men seem to have moved camp. WILL: They were here. GARED: See where they went. [The three look around, swords drawn. They hear the wind and eerie calls. GARED finds a red cloth in the snow.] ROYCE: What is it? GARED: It’s … [As he speaks, a CREATURE with glowing blue eyes rises behind ROYCE. ROYCE turns, the CREATURE strikes. The scene shifts to WILL, who hears a man crying out. The three horses stampede past him. He turns and sees someone standing very still in the distance. The figure turns – it’s the child who had been suspended in the tree, now with glowing blue eyes. WILL turns and runs. GARED is also fleeing, and we hear strange growls and catch glimpses of the CREATURE. Both terrified RANGERS stop, some distance apart, to catch their breath. WILL sees a CREATURE behead GARED. WILL sinks to his knees and the CREATURE tosses GARED’S head to him.] [Blackout / Opening credits] [Riders from Winterfell come up behind a dazed WILL. The scene shifts to the castle, where BRAN is practicing archery and getting frustrated, under the eyes of JON SNOW and ROBB STARK. JON pats BRAN’S shoulder.] JON: Go on. Father’s watching. [We see NED and CATELYN STARK watching from above.] JON: And your mother. [Scene shifts to needlework practice with the girls inside the castle.] SEPTA MORDANE (to SANSA): Fine work, as always. Well done. SANSA: Thank you. SEPTA MORDANE: I love the detail that you’ve managed to get in this corners. … Quite beautiful … the stitching … [As she murmurs to SANSA about the embroidery, ARYA struggles with her needlework and listens to the arrows hitting and the male laughter outside.] [Outside, BRAN tries and misses again. Everyone laughs.] NED: And which one of you was a marksman at ten? Keep practicing, Bran. Go on. JON: Don’t think too much, Bran. ROBB: Relax your bow arm. [BRAN pulls the arrow back. An arrow hits the bullseye. BRAN (still with his arrow), JON, and ROBB turn in surprise to see ARYA, who curtsies after her perfect sht. ROBB and JON laugh as Bran takes out after ARYA.] JON/ROBB: Quick, Bran, faster! [RODRICK CASSEL and THEON GREYJOY approach NED and CATELYN on the balcony.] CASSEL: Lord Stark. My lady. A guardsman just rode in from the hills. They’ve captured a deserter from the Night’s Watch. [NED grimaces.] NED: Get the lads to saddle their horses. [THEON departs.] CATELYN: Do you have to? NED: He swore an oath, Cat. CASSEL: The law is law, my lady. NED: Tell Bran he’s coming, too. [CASSEL nods and departs.] CATELYN: Ned. Ten is too young to see such things. NED: He won’t be a boy forever. And winter is coming. [NED departs. In the courtyard, ROBB and JON gather the arrows. CATELYN turns and glares down on JON. He looks at her and walks away.] ROBB: Lad, go run back and get the rest. [Scene shifts, and we see WILL being taken to the block.] WILL (muttering): White Walkers. I saw the White Walkers. White Walkers. The White Walkers, I saw them. [He and NED face each other.] WILL: I know I broke my oath. And I know I’m a deserter. I should have gone back to the Wall and warned them. But I saw what I saw. I saw the White Walkers. People need to know. If you can get word to my family, tell them I’m no coward. Tell them I’m sorry. [NED nods yes, and WILL is positioned on the tree limb that serves as a block. NED draws ice from a scabbard held by Theon.] WILL (whispering): Forgive me, lord. [NED bows his head over ICE.] NED: In the name of Robert of the House Baratheon, first of his name … JON (to BRAN): Don’t look away. NED: King of the Andals and the First Men … JON: Father will know if you do. NED: Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and protector of the realm, I, Eddard of the House Stark, Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North, sentence you to die. [NED swings ICE and beheads WILL. BRAN does not look away.] JON: You did well. [He walks away. ROBB turns and puts his arm around BRAN and they go to their horses together. NED approaches BRAN.] NED: You understand why I did it? BRAN: Jon said he was a deserter. NED: But do you understand why I had to kll him? BRAN: Our way is the old way? NED: The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword. BRAN: Is it true he saw the White Walkers? NED: The White Walkers have been gone for thousands of years. BRAN: So he was lying? NED: A madman sees what he sees. [Scene shifts to a dad stag’s head. The Winterfell men gather on the bridge They see a ravaged deer before them.] JON: What is it? THEON: Mountain lion? NED: There are no mountain lions in these woods. [With swords out, they begin to search. NED finds a dad direwolf with antlers through her throat. Her pups are whimpering around her.] THEON: It’s a freak. NED: It’s a direwolf. [NED and CASSEL glance at each other.] NED: Tough old beast. [He pulls out the antlers.] ROBB: There are no direwolves south of the Wall. JON: Now there are five. [Jon picks up a pup and offers it to BRAN.] JON: You want to hold it? BRAN: Where will they go? Their mother’s dad. CASSEL: They don’t belong down here. NED: Better a quick death. They won’t last without their mother. THEON: Right. Give it here. BRAN: NO! ROBB (disgustedly to THEON): Put away your blade. THEON: I take orders from your father, not you. BRAN: Please, father! NED: I’m sorry, Bran. JON: Lord Stark? There are five pups. One for each of the Stark children. The direwolf is the sigil of your House. They were meant to have them. [Everyone looks at NED, BRAN with great hope.] NED: You will train them yourselves. You will feed them yourselves. And if they die, you will bury them yourselves. [BRAN cradles his pup as JON hands more pups to ROBB.] BRAN (to JON): What about you? JON: I’m not a Stark. Get on. [JON walks away, pauses, and hears another whimper.] ROBB: What is it? [JON pulls up a white wolf pup.] THEON: The runt of the litter. That one’s yours, Snow. [Scene shifts to bells ringing at Kings Landing. In front of the Iron Throne, surrounded by druidical looking celebrants, lies the body of JON ARRYN. Up in the balcony, CERSEI watches the scene below as JAIME approaches.] JAIME: As your brother, I feel it’s my duty to warn you: You worry too much. It’s starting to show. CERSEI: And you never worry about anything. When we were seven, you jumped off the cliffs as Casterly Rock. One hundred foot drop into the water. And you were never afraid. JAIME: There was nothing to be afraid of until you told father. [In a whisper, mimicking] We’re Lannisters. Lannisters don’t act like fools. CERSEI: What if Jon Arryn told someone? JAIME: But who would he tell? CERSEI: My husband. JAIME: If he told the king, both our heads would be skewered on the city gates by now. Whatever Jon Arryn knew or didn’t know, it died with him. And Robert will choose a new Hand of the king, someone to do his job while he’s off fcking boars and hunting whores. Or is it the other way around? And life will go on. CERSEI: You should be the Hand of the king. JAIME: That’s an honor I can do without. Their days are too long, their lives are too short. [Scene shifts to a raven approaching Winterfell. CATELYN crosses a busy courtyard and finds NED in the godswood.] CATELYN: All these years and I still feel like an outsider when I come here. NED: You have five northern children. You’re not an outsider. CATELYN: I wonder if the old gods agree. NED: It’s your gods with all the rules. CATELYN: I am so sorry, my love. NED: Tell me. CATELYN: There was a raven from Kings Landing. Jon Arryn is dad. A fever took him. I know he was like a father to you. NED: Your sister. The boy … CATELYN: They both have their health. Gods be good. [pause] The raven brought more news. The king rides for Winterfell. With the queen and all the rest of them. NED: He’s coming this far North, there’s only one thing he’s after. CATELYN: You can always say no, Ned. [Scene shifts to the Winterfell great hall where a great banquet is being prepared.] CATELYN: We need plenty of candles for Lord Tyrion’s chamber. I’m told he reads all night. MAESTER LUWIN: I’m told he drinks all night. CATELYN: How much could he possibly drink? A man of his … stature. LUWIN: We’ve brought up eight barrels of ale from the cellar. Perhaps we’ll find out. CATELYN: In any case, candles. [Scene shifts to Robb, Theon, and Jon getting barbered.] JON: Why’s your mother so dad-set on us getting pretty for the king? THEON: It’s for the queen, I bet. I hear she’s [sleek as a mink?] ROBB: I hear the prince is a right royal prick. THEON: Think of all those southern girls he gets to sab with his right royal prick. ROBB: Go on, Tommy, shave him good. He’s never met a girl he likes better than his own hair. [Scene shifts to the royal procession approaching Winterfell. Bran sees them from his perch high atop a castle wall and clambers nimbly down to tell everyone. CATELYN and LUWIN walk to the courtyard, passing BRAN’s wolf pup.] CATELYN: Gods, but they grow fast. [Seeing BRAN on the wall] Brandon! BRAN: I saw the king! He’s got hundreds of people! CATELYN: How many times have I told you: No climbing! BRAN: But he’s coming right now! Down our road! CATELYN: I want you to promise me: No more climbing. BRAN (looking down): I promise. CATELYN: D’you know what? BRAN: What? CATELYN: You always look at your feet before you lie. Run and find your father. Tell him the king is close. [BRAN runs off, followed by his wolf pup.] [Scene shifts to grand entry of the king’s horses and men. ARYA, wearing a helm and cloak, pushes her way into a tall wagon for a better look. In rides JOFFREY, followed by the HOUND. The other Starks wait in a greeting line.] CATELYN: Where’s Arya? Sansa, where’s your sister? [More riders with banners. ARYA scoots past her parents to get in the receiving line.] NED: Hey,, hey, hey, hey. What are you doing with that on? [Pulls off ARYA’s helm] ARYA (pushing BRAN): Move! [JOFFREY rides up, SANSA smiles at him, ROBB glares at JOFFREY. The HOUND pulls up his helm. The coach carrying CERSEI lumbers in, followed by KING ROBERT. All kneel. ROBERT heaves himself off his horse. NED looks shocked at the sight of his old friend, now fat and red-faced. ROBERT signals for all to rise and looks at NED.] NED: Your Grace. ROBERT: You’ve got fat. [NED gives ROBERT a “What about you?” look. They start laughing.] ROBERT: Cat! CATELYN: Your Grace. ROBERT: Nine years. Why haven’t I seen you? Where the hell have you been? NED: Guarding the North for you, Your Grace. Winterfell is yours. [CERSEI and her other children descend from the coach.] ARYA: Where’s the Imp? SANSA: Will you shut up? ROBERT: Who have we here? You must be Robb. (To Sansa) My, you’re a pretty one. (To Arya) Your name is? ARYA: Arya. ROBERT (to BRAN) Ooh. Show us your muscles. You’ll be a soldier. [JAIME removes his helm.] ARYA: That’s Jaime Lannister. The queen’s twin brother. SANSA: Would you please shut up. [CERSEI approaches.] NED: My queen. CATELYN: My queen. ROBERT: Take me to your crypt. I want to pay my respects. CERSEI: We’ve been riding for a month, my love. Surely the dad can wait. ROBERT: Ned. ARYA: Where’s the Imp? [CERSEI, humiliated in front of all, walks back to JAIME.] CERSEI: Where is our brother? Go find the little beast. [Scene changes to the crypt.] NED: Tell me about Jon Arryn. ROBERT: One minute he was fine, and then … brned right through him, whatever it was. I loved that man. NED: We both did. ROBERT: He never had to teach you much, but me … You remember me at 16? All I wanted to do was crack skulls and fck girls. He showed me what was what. NED: Aye. ROBERT: Don’t look at me like that. Not his fault I didn’t listen. (They laugh. ROBERT sighs.) I need you, Ned. Down at Kings Landing. Not up here, where you’re no damn use to anybody. Lord Eddard Stark, I would name you the Hand of the king. [NED kneels.] NED: I’m not worthy of the honor. ROBERT: I’m not trying to honor you. I’m trying to get you to run my kingdom while I eat, drink, and whore my way to an early grave. Damn it, Ned, stand up. You helped me win the Iron Throne, now help me keep the damn thing. We were meant to rule together. If your sister had lived, we would have been bound by blood. Well, it’s not too late. I have a son, you have a daughter. We’ll join our Houses. [Scene changes to JAIME in the Winterfell settlement. We see Tyrion inside a whorehouse, swilling liquor and laughing as a woman pops into view after servicing him.] TYRION: Mmh. It is true what they say about the Northern girls. ROS: Did you hear the king’s in Winterfell? TYRION: I did hear something about that. ROS: And the queen. And her twin brother. They say that he is the most handsome man in the Seven Kingdoms. TYRION: And the other brother? ROS: The queen has two brothers? TYRION: There’s the pretty one. And there’s the clever one. ROS: I hear they call him the Imp. TYRION: I hear he hates that nickname. ROS: Oh? I hear he’s more than earned it. I hear he’s a drunken little lecher into all manner of perversions. TYRION: Clever girl. ROS: We’ve been expecting you, Lord Tyrion. TYRION: Have you? TYRION: The gods gave me one blessing. [She climbs on TYRION. JAIME walks in without knocking.] JAIME: Don’t get up. ROS: M’lord. TYRION: Should I explain to you the meaning of a closed door in a whorehouse, brother? JAIME: You’ve much to teach me, no doubt. But our sister craves your attention. TYRION: She has odd cravings, our sister. JAIME: A family trait. Now, the Starks are feasting us at sundown. Don’t leave me alone with these people. TYRION: I’m sorry, I’ve gn the feast a bit early. And this is the first of many courses. JAIME: I thought you might say that. But since we’re short on time, (he opens the door; a bevy of whores enter and descend on TYRION) Come on, girls. See you at sundown. [JAIME leaves.] TYRION: Close the door! [Scene changes to the Winterfell crypt, at Lyanna’s tomb. Robert places a feather in the hand of her statue.] ROBERT: Did you have to bury her in a place like this? She should be on a hill somewhere with the sun and the clouds above her. NED: She was my sister. This is where she belongs. ROBERT: She belonged with me. [He touches Lyanna’s face.] ROBERT: In my dreams, I kll him every night. NED: It’s done, Your Grace. The Targaryens are gone. ROBERT: Not all of them. [Scene shifts to Daenerys on a balcony in Pentos, across the Narrow Sea.] VISERYS (off camera): Daenerys! [He enters a large chamber.] VISERYS: Daenerys! There’s our bride to be! Look – a gift from Illyrio. Touch it. Come on. Feel the fabric. Mmmm. Isn’t he a gracious host? DAENERYS: We’ve been his guests for over a year and he’s never asked us for anything. VISERYS: Illyrio is no fool. He knows I won’t forget my friends when I come into my throne. You still slouch. Let me see. (He pulls off her gown.) You have a woman’s body now. (She endures it as he strokes her breast.) I need you to be perfect today. Can you do that for me? You don’t want to wake the dragon, do you? DAENERYS: No. [VISERYS nods and starts to leave the chamber. He turns.] VISERYS: When they write the history of my reign, sweet sister, they will say it began today. [Daenerys turns and steps into a steaming hot bath with a despairing look on her face.] MAID: It’s too hot, my lady. [But DAENERYS keeps stepping deeper. The scene shifts to ILLYRIOS, DAENERYS, AND VISERYS outside the mansion, awaiting Khal Drogo.] VISERYS: Where is he? ILLYRIO: The Dothraki are not known for their punctuality. [A host of Dothraki come riding up. Khal Drogo wheels his stallion into the front.] ILLYRIO: (Greets them in Dothraki.) May I present my honored guests? Viserys of House Targaryen, the third of his name. The rightful King of the Andals and the First Men. And his sister, Daenerys, of the House Targaryen. VISERYS (to DAENERYS) Do you see how long his hair is? When Dothraki are defeated in combat, they cut off their braid so the whole world can see their shame. Khal Drogo has never been defeated. He’s a savage, of course, but he’s one of the finest Kllers alive. And you will be his queen. ILLYRIO: Come forward, my dear. [KHAL DROGO watches as DAENERYS walks toward him. She does not hesitate and looks straight at him, although there is fear on her face. KHAL DROGO gazes at her and then leads his horsemen on a charge away.] VISERYS: Where’s he going? ILLYRIO: The ceremony is over. VISERYS: But he didn’t say anything. Did he like her? ILLYRIO: Trust me, Your Grace. If he didn’t like her, we’d know. [The scene shifts to ILLYRIO, VISERYS, AND DAENERYS ON A GARDEN BALCONY OVERLOOKING THE SEA.] ILLYRIO: It won’t be long now. Soon you will cross the Narrow Sea and take back your father’s throne. The people drink secret toasts to your health. They cry out for their true king. VISERYS: When will they be married? ILLYRIO: Soon. The Dothraki never stay still for long. VISERYS: Is it true they lie with their horses? ILLYRIO: I wouldn’t ask Khal Drogo. VISERYS: Do you take me for a fool? ILLYRIO: I take you for a king. Kings lack the caution of common men. My apologies if I’ve given offense. VISERYS: I know how to play a man like Drogo. I give him a queen and he gives me an army. DAENERYS (pleadingly) I don’t want to be his queen. I want to go home. VISERYS: So do I. I want us both to go home. But they took it from us. So tell me, sweet sister, how do we go home? DAENERYS: I don’t know. VISERYS: We go home with an army. With Khal Drogo’s army. I would let his whole tribe fck you, all 40,000 men and their horses too, if that’s what it took. [He gives DAENERYS a brotherly kiss on the forehead and walks away. The scene shifts to a bedroom in Winterfell, where CATELYN is fixing SANSA’S hair.] SANSA: Do you think Joffrey will like me? What if he thinks I’m ugly? CATELYN: Then he is the stupidest prince that ever lived. SANSA: He’s so handsome. [CATELYN rolls her eyes.] SANSA: When would we be married? Soon or do we have to wait? CATELYN: Hush now. Your father hasn’t even said yes. SANSA: Why would he say no? He’d be the second most powerful man in the kingdoms. CATELYN: He’d have to leave home. He’d have to leave me. And so would you. SANSA: You left your home to come here. And I’d be queen someday. Please make father say yes. CATELYN: Sansa… SANSA: Please, please. It’s the only thing I ever wanted. [Scene shifts to the Winterfell banquet. Laughter, music, KING ROBERT getting bawdy with a wench. CATELYN and CERSEI watch, CATELYN embarrassed for CERSEI, who looks disgusted. Out in the courtyard, JON takes out his frustration on a fencing dummy. His uncle BENJEN rides up.] BENJEN: Is he dad yet? JON: Uncle Benjen! [They hug.] BENJEN: You got bigger. I rode all day. Didn’t want to leave you alone with the Lannisters. Why aren’t you at the feast? JON: Lady Stark thought it might insult the royal family to seat a bastard in their midst. BENJEN: Well, you’re always welcome on the wall. No bastard was ever refused a seat there. JON: So take me with you when you go back. BENJEN: Jon… JON: Father will let me if you ask him, I know he will. BENJEN: The Wall isn’t going anywhere. JON: I’m ready to swear your oath. BENJEN: You don’t understand what you’d be giving up. We have no families. None of us will ever father sons. JON: I don’t care about that. BENJEN: You might, if you knew what it meant. … I’d better get inside. Rescue your father from his guests. We’ll talk later. [BENJEN goes to the banquet.] TYRION: Your uncle’s in the Night’s Watch. JON: What’re you doing back there? TYRION (drinking): Preparing for a night with your family. I’ve always wanted to see the Wall. JON: You’re Tyrion Lannister. The queen’s brother? TYRION: My greatest accomplishment. You – you’re Ned Stark’s bastard, aren’t you? [JON looks angry and turns away.] TYRION: Did I offend you? Sorry. You are the bastard, though. JON: Lord Eddard Stark is my father. TYRION: And Lady Stark is not your mother. Making you a bastard. Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor. Then it can never be used to hurt you. JON: What the hell do you know about being a bastard? TYRION: All dwarves are bastards in their fathers’ eyes. [TYRION departs. JON picks up his sword and attcks the dummy with new ferocity.] [The scene shifts back to the banquet, in full raucous swing. NED is off to himself; BENJEN comes up to him.] BENJEN: You at a feast -- It’s like a bear in a trap. NED: The boy I beheaded. Did you know him? BENJEN: Of course I did. Just a lad. But he was tough, Ned. A true Ranger. NED: He was talking madness. Said the Walkers slaughtered his friends. BENJEN: The two he was with are still missing. NED: A wildling ambush. BENJEN: Maybe. Direwolves south of the wall. Talk of the Walkers. My brother might be the next Hand to the king. Winter is coming. NED: Winter is coming. [ROBB approaches.] ROBB: Uncle Benjen. BENJEN: Robb boy. How are ye? ROBB: I’m good. [KING ROBERT gets even more bawdy with a wench.] CATELYN (in desperation) Is this your first time in the North, Your Grace? CERSEI: Yes. Lovely country. [They observe SANSA.] CATELYN: I’m sure it’s very grim, after Kings Landing. I remember how scared I was when Ned brought me up here for the first time. [SANSA approaches and smiles shyly at CERSEI.] CERSEI: Hello, little dove. But you are a beauty. How old are you? SANSA: Thirteen, Your Grace. CERSEI: You’re tall. Still growing? SANSA: I think so, Your Grace. CERSEI: And have you bled yet? SANSA (discomfited): No, Your Grace. CERSEI: And your dress. Did you make it? [SANSA nods yes.] CERSEI: Such talent. You must make something for me. [SANSA departs.] CERSEI (to CATELYN]: I hear we might share a grandchild someday. CATELYN: I hear the same. CERSEI: Your daughter will do well in the capital. Such a beauty shouldn’t stay hidden up here forever. [SANSA and JOFFREY catch each other’s eye. JOFFREY smiles at her and she turns to her friend.] [JAIME and NED meet up. JAIME blocks their path.] NED: Your pardon. JAIME: I hear we might be neighbors soon. I hope it’s true. NED: Yes, the king has honored me with his offer. JAIME: I’m sure we’ll have a tournament to celebrate the new title, if you accept. It would be good to have you in the field. The competition has become a bit stale. NED: I don’t fight in tournaments. JAIME: No? Getting a little old for it? NED: I don’t fight in tournaments because when I fight a man for real, I don’t want him to know what I can do. JAIME: Well said. [ARYA flips food onto SANSA’s face.] SANSA: Arya! [CATELYN signals a laughing ROBB to deal with the girls. He hoists up ARYA.] ROBB: Time for bed. [The scene shifts to after the banquet. NED and CATELYN are in their bed.] NED: I’m a Northman. I belong here with you, not down south in that rat’s nest they call a capital. CATELYN: I won’t let him take you. NED: The king takes what he wants. That’s why he’s king. CATELYN: I’ll say, ‘Listen, fat man, you are not taking my husband anywhere. He belongs to me now.’ NED: How did he get so fat? CATELYN: He only stops eating when it’s time for a drink. [There’s a knock at the door.] A VOICE: It’s Maester Luwin, my lord. NED: Send him in. LUWIN: Pardon, my lord, my lady. A rider in the night from your sister. [He hands CATELYN a sealed note.] NED: Stay. CATELYN: This was sent from the Eyrie. What’s she doing at the Eyrie? She hasn’t been back there since her wedding. [CATELYN reads the note, looks up in alarm, and then burns it.] NED: What news? CATELYN: She’s fled the capital. She says Jon Arryn was mrder. By the Lannisters. She says the king is in danger. NED: She’s fresh widowed, Cat. She doesn’t know what she’s saying. CATELYN: Lysa’s head would be on a spike right now if the wrong people had found that letter. Do you think she would risk her life, her son’s life, if she wasn’t certain her husband was mrder? LUWIN: If this news is true, and the Lannisters conspire against the throne, who but you can protect the king? CATELYN: They mrder the last Hand. Now you want Ned to take the job. LUWIN: The king rode for a month to ask Lord Stark’s help. He’s the only one he trusts. You swore the king an oath, my lord. CATELYN: He spent half his life fighting Robert’s wars. He owes him nothing. (To NED) Your father and brother rode south once on a king’s demand. LUWIN: A different time. Different king. [The scene shifts to the wild wedding celebration of KHAL DROGO and DAENERYS. Fighting and fornication. DAENERYS looks stricken at everything around her.] VISERYS: When do I meet with the Khal? We need to begin planning the invasion. ILLYRIO: If Khal Drogo has promised you a crown, you shall have it. VISERYS: When? ILLYRIO: When their omens favor wr. VISERYS: I piss on Dothraki omens. I waited 17 years to get my throne back. [The sex and volence intensify. Two men fight to the death over a woman each is trying to rpe. KHAL DROGO watches avidly.] ILLYRIO: A Dothraki wedding without at least three deaths is considered a dull affair. [A knight in Westerosi garb appears. KHAL DROGO greets him in Dothraki. It is JORAH MORMONT, bearing books.] JORAH: A small gift for the new Khaleesi. Songs and histories from the Seven Kingdoms. DAENERYS: Thank you, ser. Are you from my country? JORAH: Ser Jorah Mormont of Bear Island. I served your father for many years. Gods be good, I hope to always serve the rightful king. [DANY is presented with a chest with three dragon eggs in it.] ILLYRIO: Dragons’ eggs, Daenerys. From the Shadow Lands beyond Asshai. The ages have turned them to stone, but they will always be beautiful. DAENERYS: Thank you, Magister. [KHAL DROGO rises and strides forward. DAENERYS follows him, looking sick with fear. The Dothraki crowd behind her as she goes. The KHAL leads her to a white mare.] DAENERYS: She’s beautiful. … Ser Jorah, I don’t know how to say ‘thank you’ in Dothraki. JORAH: There is no word for ‘thank you’ in Dothraki. [The KHAL puts DANY on her horse and mounts his.] VISERYS: Make him happy. [The scene shifts to the seaside at sunset. The KHAL begins to unwrap DANY’s dress. She is sobbing. He touches the tears on her face.] KHAL DROGO: No. DAENERYS: Do you know the Common Tongue? KHAL DROGO: No. DAENERYS: Is ‘no’ the only word that you know? KHAL DROGO: No. [He takes off her gown and bends her down.] [The scene shifts to Winterfell. Tyrion and the Hound are seated outside the day after the banquet.] THE HOUND: Rough night, Imp? TYRION: If I get through this without squirting from one end or the other, it will be a miracle. THE HOUND: I didn’t pick you for a hunter. TYRION: The greatest in the land. My spear never misses. THE HOUND: It’s not hunting if you pay for it. [The king and Ned come into view.] ROBERT: Are you as good with a spear as you used to be? NED: No, but I’m still better than you. ROBERT: I know what I’m putting you through. Thank you for saying yes. I only ask you because I need you. You’re a loyal friend. You hear me? A loyal friend. The last one I’ve got. NED: I hope I’ll serve you well. ROBERT: You will. And I’ll make sure you don’t look so fcking grim all the time. Come on, boys, let’s go k*ll some boar! [The king’s party rides off, NED nodding goodbye to BRAN, whose wolf pup begins sniffing at his feet.] BRAN: Come on, you. [BRAN begins climbing, his wolf pup crying at the bottom of the castle wall. As he nears the top, he hears a woman and man moaning. Peering in the window, he sees CERSEI and JAIME having sex. CERSEI sees BRAN.] CERSEI: Stop. STOP. [JAIME runs and grabs BRAN at the window.] JAIME: Are you completely mad? CERSEI: He saw us. JAIME: It’s all right. It’s all right. CERSEI: He saw us! JAIME: I heard you the first time. (To BRAN) Quite the little climber, aren’t you? How old are you, boy? BRAN: Ten . JAIME: Ten. [JAIME looks at CERSEI, who gazes back imploringly.] JAIME: The things I do for love. [He shoves BRAN out the window.] / BLACKOUT /	{"type": "series", "show": "Game of Thrones", "episode": "01x01 - Winter is Coming"}	foreverdreaming
( Cawing ) There was a raven from King's Landing. Jon Arryn is dad. The King rides for Winterfell with the Queen and all the rest of them. The Queen has two brothers? There's the pretty one, and there's the clever one. I would name you the Hand of the King. We were meant to rule together. I have a son, you have a daughter. We'll join our houses. The boy I beheaded ... he was talking madness. Said the others slaughtered his friends. Ned: A Wildling ambush. Maybe. You're Tyrion Lannister. You ... you're Ned Stark's bastard, aren't you? Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are and it can never be used to hurt you. It's a direwolf. There are no direwolves south of the wall. Now there are five, one for each of the Stark children. What about you? I'm not a Stark. That one's yours, Snow. May I present Viserys of House Targaryen, the rightful King of the Andals, and his sister Daenerys? I don't want to be his queen. I want to go home. We go home with an army ... with Khal Drogo's army. From your sister. She says Jon Arryn was mrder by the Lannisters. She says the King is in danger. What if Jon Arryn told someone? Whatever Jon Arryn knew died with him. The things I do for love. ♪ Game of Thrones 1x02 ♪ The Kingsroad Original Air Date on April 24, 2011 ♪ ♪ Jorah Mormont : You need to drink, child. And eat. Daenerys Targaryen : Isn't there anything else ? Jorah Mormont : The Dothraki have two things in abundance : grass and horses. People can't live on grass. In the Shadow Lands beyond Asshai, they say there are fields of ghost grass with stalks as pale as milk that glow in the night. It mrder all other grass. The Dothraki believe that one day it will cover everything. That's the way the world will end. It'll get easier. Doreah : Khaleesi ! Irri : Your hands. Jorah Mormont : We're still not far from Pentos, your Grace. Magister Illyrio has extended his hospitality. You'd be more comfortable there. Viserys Targaryen : I have no interest in hospitality or comfort. I'll stay with Drogo until he fulfils his end of the bargain and I have my crown. Jorah Mormont : As you wish, your Grace. Viserys Targaryen : Well, Mormont, as brutish as this life is, I suppose it is preferable to beheading. What did Ned Stark want you for ? Buying from a slaver ? Jorah Mormont : Selling to one... Some poachers I caught on my land. Viserys Targaryen : Under my reign, you won't be punished for such nonsense. You can rest assured of that. Joffrey Baratheon : Better-looking bitches than you're used to, Uncle. My mother's been looking for you. We ride for King's Landing today. Tyrion Lannister : Before you go, you will call on Lord and Lady Stark and offer your sympathies. Joffrey Baratheon : What good will my sympathies do them ? Tyrion Lannister : None. But it is expected of you. Your absence has already been noted. Joffrey Baratheon : The boy means nothing to me. And I can't stand the wailing of women. Tyrion Lannister : One word and I'll ht you again. Joffrey Baratheon : I'm telling mother ! Tyrion Lannister : Go ! Tell her. But first you will get to Lord and Lady Stark and you will fall on your knees in front of them and tell them how very sorry you are, that you are at their service, and that all your prayers are with them. Do you understand ? Joffrey Baratheon : You can't... Tyrion Lannister : Do you understand ? Sandor Clegane : The Prince will remember that, little lord. Tyrion Lannister : I hope so. If he forgets, be a good dog and remind him. Time for breakfast. Bread. And two of those little fish. And a mug of dark beer to wash it down. And bacon, brned black. Jaime Lannister : Little brother. Tyrion Lannister : Beloved siblings. Myrcella Baratheon : Is Bran going to die ? Tyrion Lannister : Apparently not. Cersei Baratheon : What do you mean ? Tyrion Lannister : The Maester says the boy may live. Cersei Baratheon : It's no mercy, letting a child linger in such pain. Tyrion Lannister : Only the gods know for certain. All the rest of us can do is pray. The charms of the north seem entirely lost on you. Cersei Baratheon : I still can't believe you're going. It's ridiculous even for you. Tyrion Lannister : Where's your sense of wonder ? The greatest structure ever built, the intrepid men of the Night's Watch, the wintry abode of the White Walkers. Jaime Lannister : Tell me you're not thinking of taking the black. Tyrion Lannister : And go celibate ? The whores would go begging from Dorne to Casterly Rock. I just want to stand on top of the Wall and piss off the edge of the world. Cersei Baratheon : The children don't need to hear your filth. Come. Jaime Lannister : Even if the boy lives, he'll be a cripple, a grotesque. Give me a good clean death any day. Tyrion Lannister : Speaking for the grotesques, I'd have to disagree. Death is so final, whereas life... Life is full of possibilities. I hope the boy does wake. I'd be very interested to hear what he has to say. Jaime Lannister : My dear brother, there are times you make me wonder whose side you're on. Tyrion Lannister : My dear brother, you wound me. You know how much I love my family. Cersei Baratheon : Please. Catelyn Stark : I would have dressed, your Grace. Cersei Baratheon : This is your home. I'm your guest. Handsome one, isn't he ? I lost my first boy, a little black-haired beauty. He was a fighter too... Tried to bat the fever that took him. Forgive me. It's the last thing you need to hear right now. Catelyn Stark : I never knew. Cersei Baratheon : It was years ago. Robert was crazed, bat his hands bloody on the wall, all the things men do to show you how much they care. The boy looked just like him. Such a little thing... A bird without feathers. They came to take his body away and Robert held me. I screamed and I battled, but he held me. That little bundle. They took him away and I never saw him again. Never have visited the crypt, never. I pray to the Mother every morning and night that she return your child to you. Catelyn Stark : I am grateful. Cersei Baratheon : Perhaps this time she'll listen. Jaime Lannister : A sword for the wall ? Jon Snow : I already have one. Jaime Lannister : Good man. Have you swung it yet ? Jon Snow : Of course I have. Jaime Lannister : At someone, I mean. It's a strange thing, the first time you cut a man. You realize we're nothing but sacks of meat and blood and some bone to keep it all standing. Let me thank you ahead of time for guarding us all from the perils beyond the Wall... Wildlings and White Walkers and whatnot. We're grateful to have good, strong men like you protecting us. Jon Snow : We've guarded the kingdoms for 8 000 years. Jaime Lannister : Is it "we" already ? Have you taken your vows then ? Jon Snow : Soon enough. Jaime Lannister : Give my regards to the Night's Watch. I'm sure it will be thrilling to serve in such an elite force. And if not ? It's only for life. Arya Stark : Thank you, Nymeria. Septa Mordane says I have to do it again. My things weren't properly folded, she says. Who cares how they're folded ?! They're going to get all messed up anyway. Jon Snow : It's good you've got help. Arya Stark : Watch. Nymeria, gloves. Jon Snow : Impressive. Arya Stark : Shut up. Nymeria, gloves ! Jon Snow : I have something for you. And it has to be packed very carefully. Arya Stark : A present ? Jon Snow : Close the door. This is no toy. Be careful you don't cut yourself. Arya Stark : It's so skinny. Jon Snow : So are you. I had the blacksmith make it for you special. It won't hack a man's head off, but it can poke him full of holes if you're quick enough. Arya Stark : I can be quick. Jon Snow : You'll have to work at it every day. How does it feel ? Do you like the balance ? Arya Stark : I think so. Jon Snow : First lesson: Stick them with the pointy end. Arya Stark : I know which end to use. Jon Snow : I'm going to miss you. Careful. All the best swords have names, you know. Arya Stark : Sansa can keep her sewing needles. I've got a needle of my own. Jon Snow : I came to say goodbye to Bran. Catelyn Stark : You've said it. Jon Snow : I wish I could be here when you wake up. I'm going north with Uncle Benjen. I'm taking the black. I know we always talked about seeing the Wall together, but you'll be able to come visit me at Castle Black when you're better. I'll know my way around by then. I'll be a sworn brother of the Night's Watch. We can go out walking beyond the Wall, if you're not afraid. Catelyn Stark : I want you to leave. 17 years ago you rode off with Robert Baratheon. You came back a year later with another woman's son. And now you're leaving again. Eddard Stark : I have no choice. Catelyn Stark : That's what men always say when honor calls. That's what you tell your families, tell yourselves. You do have a choice. And you've made it. I can't do it, Ned. I really can't. Eddard Stark : You can. You must. Robb Stark : You've said goodbye to Bran ? He's not going to die. I know it. Jon Snow : You Starks are hard to kll. Robb Stark : My mother ? Jon Snow : She was very kind. Robb Stark : Good. Next time I see you, you'll be all in black. Jon Snow : It was always my color. Robb Stark : Farewell, Snow. Jon Snow : And you, Stark. Eddard Stark : There's great honor serving in the Night's Watch. The Starks have manned the Wall for thousands of years. And you are a Stark. You might not have my name, but you have my blood. Jon Snow : Is my mother alive ? Does she know about me ? Where I am, where I'm going ? Does she care ? Eddard Stark : The next time we see each other, we'll talk about your mother. I promise. Robert Baratheon : Gods, this is country ! I've half a mind to leave them all behind and keep going. Eddard Stark : I've half a mind to go with you. Robert Baratheon : What do you say, just you and me on the Kingsroad, swords at our sides, a couple of tavern wenches to warm our beds tonight. Eddard Stark : You should have asked me 20 years ago. Robert Baratheon : There were wars to fight, women to marry... We never had the chance to be young. Eddard Stark : I recall a few chances. Robert Baratheon : There was that one... Oh, what was her name ? That common girl of yours ? Becca ? With the great big tits you could bury your face in. Eddard Stark : Bessie. She was one of yours. Robert Baratheon : Bessie ! Thank the gods for Bessie and her tits. Yours was... Aleena ? No. You told me once. Meryl ? Your bastard's mother ? Eddard Stark : Wylla. Robert Baratheon : That's it. She must have been a rare wench to make Lord Eddard Stark forget his honor. You never told me what she looked like. Eddard Stark : Nor will I. Robert Baratheon : We were at wr. None of us knew if we were gonna go back home again. You're too hard on yourself. You always have been. I swear if I weren't your King, you'd have ht me already. Eddard Stark : The worst thing about your coronation... I'll never get to ht you again. Robert Baratheon : Trust me, that's not the worst thing. There was a rider in the night. Eddard Stark : Daenerys Targaryen has wed some Dothraki horselord. What of it ? Should we send her a wedding gift ? Robert Baratheon : A Knfe perhaps, a good sharp one, and a bold man to wield it. Eddard Stark : She's little more than a child. Robert Baratheon : Soon enough that child will spread her legs and start breeding. Eddard Stark : Tell me we're not speaking of this. Robert Baratheon : Oh, it's unspeakable to you ? What her father did to your family... That was unspeakable. What Rhaegar Targaryen did to your sister... the woman I loved. I'll kll every Targaryen I get my hands on. Eddard Stark : But you can't get your hands on this one, can you ? Robert Baratheon : This Khal Drogo, it's said he has 100 000 men in his horde. Eddard Stark : Even a million Dothraki are no thrat to the realm, as long as they remain on the other side of the Narrow Sea. They have no ships, Robert. Robert Baratheon : There are still those in the Seven Kingdoms who call me Usurper. If the Targaryen boy crosses with a Dothraki horde at his back, the scum will join him. Eddard Stark : He will not cross. And if by chance he does, we'll throw him back into the sea. Robert Baratheon : There's a wr coming, Ned. I don't know when, I don't know who we'll be fighting, but it's coming. Benjen Stark : Sit. You'll be fed. Untie them. Tyrion Lannister : Rapers. They were given a choice no doubt... Castration or the Wall. Most choose the Knfe. Not impressed by your new brothers ? Lovely thing about the Watch... You discard your old family and get a whole new one. Jon Snow : Why do you read so much ? Tyrion Lannister : Look at me and tell me what you see. Jon Snow : Is this a trick ? Tyrion Lannister : What you see is a dwarf. If I'd been born a peasant they might've left me out in the woods to die. Alas, I was born a Lannister of Casterly Rock. Things are expected of me. My father was the Hand of the King for 20 years. Jon Snow : Until your brother klled that King. Tyrion Lannister : Until my brother klled him. Life is full of these little ironies. My sister married the new King and my repulsive nephew will be King after him. I must do my part for the honor of my house, wouldn't you agree ? But how ? Well, my brother has his sword and I have my mind. And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. That's why I read so much. And you ? What's your story, bastard ? Jon Snow : Ask me nicely and maybe I'll tell you, dwarf. Tyrion Lannister : A bastard boy with nothing to inherit, off to join the ancient order of the Night's Watch, alongside his valiant brothers-in-arms. Jon Snow : The Night's Watch protects the realm from... Tyrion Lannister : Yes yes, against grumpkins and snarks and all the other monsters your wet nurse warned you about. You're a smart boy. You don't believe that nonsense. Everything's better with some wine in the belly. Maester Luwin : It's time we reviewed the accounts, my lady. You'll want to know how much this royal visit has cost us. Catelyn Stark : Talk to Poole about it. Maester Luwin : Poole went south with Lord Stark, my lady. We need a new steward, and there are several other appointments that require our immediate attention... Catelyn Stark : I don't care about appointments ! Robb Stark : I'll make the appointments. We'll talk about it first thing in the morning. Maester Luwin : Very good, my Lord. My Lady. Robb Stark : When was the last time you left this room ? Catelyn Stark : I have to take care of him. Robb Stark : He's not going to die, mother. Maester Luwin says the most dangerous time has passed. Catelyn Stark : What if he's wrong ? Bran needs me. Robb Stark : Rickon needs you. He's six. He doesn't know what's happening. He follows me around all day, clutching my leg, crying... Catelyn Stark : Close the windows ! I can't stand it ! Please make them stop ! Robb Stark : fre. You stay here. I'll come back. Man : You're not supposed to be here. No one is supposed to be here. It's a mercy. He's dad already. Catelyn Stark : No ! Daenerys Targaryen : Have you ever seen a dragon ? Irri : Dragon gone, Khaleesi. Daenerys Targaryen : Everywhere ? Even in the east ? Irri : No dragon. Brave men kll them. It is known. Jhiqui : It is known. Doreah : A trader from Garth told me that dragons come from the moon. Daenerys Targaryen : The moon ? Doreah : He told me the moon was an egg, Khaleesi, that once there were two moons in the sky. But one wandered too close to the sun and it cracked from the heat. Out of it poured a thousand thousand dragons and they drank the sun's fre. Irri : Moon is no egg. Moon is goddess... wife of sun. It is known. Jhiqui : It is known. Daenerys Targaryen : Leave me with her. Why did the trader from Garth tell you these stories ? Doreah : Men like to talk when they're happy. Before your brother bought me for you, it was my job to make men happy. Daenerys Targaryen : How old were you ? Doreah : I was nine when my mother sold me to the pleasure house. Daenerys Targaryen : Nine ?! Doreah : I did not touch a man for three years, Khaleesi. First you must learn. Daenerys Targaryen : Can you teach me how to make the Khal happy ? Doreah : Yes. Daenerys Targaryen : Will it take three years ? Doreah : No. Benjen Stark : Welcome. Catelyn Stark : What I am about to tell you must remain between us. I don't think Bran fell from that tower. I think he was thrown. Maester Luwin : The boy was always sure-footed before. Catelyn Stark : Someone tried to kll him twice. Why ? Why mrder an innocent child ? Unless he saw something he wasn't meant to see. Theon Greyjoy : Saw what, my lady ? Catelyn Stark : I don't know. But I would stake my life the Lannisters are involved. We already have reason to suspect their loyalty to the crown. Rodrick Cassel : Did you notice the dagger the kller used ? It's too fine a wapon for such a man. The blade is Valyrian steel, the handle dragonbone. Someone gave it to him. Robb Stark : They come into our home and try to mrder my brother ? If it's wr they want... Theon Greyjoy : If it comes to that, you know I'll stand behind you. Maester Luwin : What, is there going to be a battle in the Godswood ? Too easily words of wr become acts of wr. We don't know the truth yet. Lord Stark must be told of this. Catelyn Stark : I don't trust a raven to carry these words. Robb Stark : I'll ride to King's Landing. Catelyn Stark : No. There must always be a Stark in Winterfell. I will go myself. Robb Stark : Mother, you can't. Catelyn Stark : I must. Rodrick Cassel : I'll send Hal with a squad of guardsmen to escort you. Catelyn Stark : Too large a party attracts unwanted attention. I don't want the Lannisters to know I'm coming. Rodrick Cassel : Let me accompany you at least. The Kingsroad can be a dangerous place for a woman alone. Robb Stark : What about Bran ? Catelyn Stark : I have prayed to the Seven for more than a month. Bran's life is in their hands now. Doreah : No, Khaleesi. You must look in his eyes always. Love comes in at the eyes. It is said that Irogenia of Lys could finish a man with nothing but her eyes. Daenerys Targaryen : Finish a man ? Doreah : Kings traveled across the world for a night with Irogenia. Magisters sold their palaces. Khals brned her enemies just to have her for a few hours. They say a thousand men proposed to her and she refused them all. Daenerys Targaryen : Well, she sounds like an interesting woman. I don't think that Drogo will like it with me on top. Doreah : You will make him like it, Khaleesi. Men want what they've never had. And the Dothraki take slaves like a hound takes a bitch. Are you a slve, Khaleesi ? Then don't make love like a slve. Very good, Khaleesi. Out there he is the mighty Khal, but in this tent, he belongs to you. Daenerys Targaryen : I don't think that this is the Dothraki way. Doreah : If he wanted the Dothraki way, why did he marry you ? Daenerys Targaryen : No. No. Tonight I would look upon your face. Sansa Stark : Pardon me, Ser. Sandor Clegane : Do I frighten you so much, girl ? Or is it him there making you shake ? He frightens me too. Look at that face. Sansa Stark : I'm sorry if I offended you, Ser. Why won't he speak to me ? Sandor Clegane : He hasn't been very talkative these last 20 years. Since the mad King had his tongue ripped out with hot pincers. Joffrey Baratheon : He speaks damn well with his sword though. Ser Ilyn Payne, the King's justice. The royal executioner. What is it, sweet lady ? Does the hound frighten you ? Away with you, dog. You're scaring my lady. I don't like to see you upset. The sun is finally shining. Come walk with me. Sansa Stark : Stay, Lady. I probably shouldn't have any more. Father only lets us have one cup at feasts. Joffrey Baratheon : My princess can drink as much as she wants. Don't worry... You're safe with me. Mycah : I'll get you ! Sansa Stark : Arya ! Arya Stark : What are you doing here ? Go away. Joffrey Baratheon : Your sister ? And who are you, boy ? Mycah : Mycah, my Lord. Sansa Stark : He the butcher's boy. Arya Stark : He's my friend. Joffrey Baratheon : A butcher's boy who wants to be a Knight, eh ? Pick up your sword, butcher's boy. Let's see how good you are. Mycah : She asked me to, my Lord. She asked me to. Joffrey Baratheon : I'm your prince, not your lord, and I said pick up your sword. Mycah : It's not a sword, my prince. It's only a stick. Joffrey Baratheon : And you're not a Knight. Only a butcher's boy. That was my lady's sister you were hitting, do you know that ? Arya Stark : Stop it ! Sansa Stark : Arya, stay out of this. Joffrey Baratheon : I won't hurt him... Much. Filthy little bitch ! Sansa Stark : No no, stop it, stop it, both of you. You're spoiling it. You're spoiling everything ! Joffrey Baratheon : I'll gut you, you little ct ! Sansa Stark : Arya ! Arya Stark : Nymeria ! Joffrey Baratheon : Please don't. Sansa Stark : Arya, leave him alone. My prince, my poor prince, look what they did to you. Stay here, I'll go back to the inn and bring help. Joffrey Baratheon : Then go ! Don't touch me. Soldier 1 : The wolf's not here. Look down by the stream. Arya Stark : You've got to go. They'll kll you for what you did to Joffrey. Go on... run. Go ! Leave now ! Soldier 2 : It's a direwolf. Soldier 1 : I'll check down here. Soldier 2 : I think I heard a noise. Arya Stark : Go ! Jory Cassel : My lord ! My lord ! They found her. She's unharmed. Eddard Stark : Where is she ? Jory Cassel : She's been taken directly before the King. Eddard Stark : Who took her ? Jory Cassel : The Lannisters found her. Eddard Stark : Right, get back. Jory Cassel : The Queen ordered them to bring her straight to him. Eddard Stark : Back ! Back to the inn. All back ! Arya Stark : I'm sorry. Eddard Stark : Are you hurt ? Arya Stark : No. Eddard Stark : It's all right. What is the meaning of this ? Why was my daughter not brought to me at once ? Cersei Baratheon : How dare you speak to your King in that manner ? Robert Baratheon : Quiet, woman. Sorry, Ned. I never meant to frighten the girl. But we need to get this business done quickly. Cersei Baratheon : Your girl and that butcher's boy attcked my son. That animal of hers nearly tore his arm off. Arya Stark : That's not true ! She just... Bit him a little. He was hurting Mycah. Cersei Baratheon : Joff told us what happened. You and that boy bat him with clubs while you set your wolf on him. Arya Stark : That's not what happened ! Joffrey Baratheon : Yes it is ! They all att*cked me and she threw my sword in the river. Arya Stark : Liar ! Joffrey Baratheon : Shut up ! Robert Baratheon : Enough ! He tells me one thing, she tells me another. Seven hells ! What am I to make of this ? Where's your other daughter, Ned ? Eddard Stark : In bed asleep. Cersei Baratheon : She's not. Sansa, come here, darling. Robert Baratheon : Now, child... Tell me what happened. Tell it all and tell it true. It's a great crime to lie to a King. Sansa Stark : I don't know. I don't remember. Everything happened so fast. I didn't see. Arya Stark : Liar ! Liar liar liar ! Sansa Stark : Arya ! Eddard Stark : Stop it ! That's enough of that. Arya Stark : Liar liar liar ! Eddard Stark : Stop ! Arya ! Cersei Baratheon : She's as wild as that animal of hers. I want her punished. Robert Baratheon : What would you have me do, whip her through the streets ? Damn it, children fight. It's over. Cersei Baratheon : Joffrey will bear these scars for the rest of his life. Robert Baratheon : You let that little girl disarm you ? See to it that your daughter is disciplined. I'll do the same with my son. Eddard Stark : Gladly, your Grace. Cersei Baratheon : And what of the direwolf ? What of the beast that savaged your son ? Robert Baratheon : I'd forgot the damned wolf. Soldier : We found no trace of the direwolf, your Grace. Robert Baratheon : So be it. Cersei Baratheon : We have another wolf. Robert Baratheon : As you will. Eddard Stark : You can't mean it. Robert Baratheon : A direwolf's no pet. Get her a dog. She'll be happier for it. Sansa Stark : He doesn't mean Lady, does he ? No no, not Lady ! Lady didn't bite anyone ! She's good ! Arya Stark : Lady wasn't there ! You leave her alone ! Sansa Stark : Stop them. Don't let them do it. Please ! It wasn't Lady ! Eddard Stark : Is this your command... your Grace ? Cersei Baratheon : Where is the beast ? Soldier : Chained up outside, your Grace. Cersei Baratheon : Ser Ilyn, do me the honor. Eddard Stark : No. Jory... Take the girls to their rooms. If it must be done, then I'll do it myself. Cersei Baratheon : Is this some trick ? Eddard Stark : The wolf is of the north. She deserves better than a butcher. The butcher's boy... You rode him down ? Sandor Clegane : He ran... Not very fast. ( Whines ) ( Whimpers ) ( Yelps ) ( Theme music playing )	{"type": "series", "show": "Game of Thrones", "episode": "01x02 - The Kings Road"}	foreverdreaming
Still not far from Pentos, Your Grace. You'd be more comfortable there. I have no interest in hospitality or comfort. I'll stay with Drogo until he fulfills his end of the bargain and I have my crown. I have something for you. First lesson: Stick them with the pointy end. 17 years ago you rode off with Robert Baratheon. And now you're leaving again. I have no choice. There's great honor serving in the Night's Watch. The Starks have manned the Wall for thousands of years. And you are a Stark. Daenerys Targaryen has wed some Dothraki horselord. What of it? Tell me we're not speaking of this. I'll kll every Targaryen I get my hands on. Rapers. Not impressed by your new brothers? Lovely thing about the watch ... You discard your old family and get a whole new one. Welcome. I don't think Bran fell from that tower. I think he was thrown. No! Someone tried to kll him twice. I would stake my life the Lannisters are involved. Lord Stark must be told of this. I will go myself. What is the meaning of this? Joff told us what happened. You and that boy bat him with clubs while you set your wolf on him. That's not what happened! Ahh! We found no trace of the direwolf, Your Grace. We have another wolf. As you will. He doesn't mean Lady, does he? Lady didn't bite anyone! She's good! King’s Landing Page : Welcome, Lord Stark. Grand Maester Pycelle has called a meeting of the Small Council. The honor of your presence is requested. Eddard Stark : Get the girls settled in. I'll be back in time for supper. And, Jory, you go with them. Jory Cassel : Yes, my Lord. King’s Landing Page : If you'd like to change into something more appropriate... Jaime Lannister : Thank the gods you're here, Stark. About time we had some stern northern leadership. Eddard Stark : Glad to see you're protecting the throne. Jaime Lannister : Sturdy old thing. How many kings' asses have polished it, I wonder ? What's the line ? The King shits and the Hand wipes. Eddard Stark : Very handsome armor. Not a scratch on it. Jaime Lannister : I know. People have been swinging at me for years, but they always seem to miss. Eddard Stark : You've chosen your opponents wisely then. Jaime Lannister : I have a knack for it. It must be strange for you coming into this room. I was standing right here when it happened. He was very brave, your brother. Your father too. They didn't deserve to die like that. Nobody deserves to die like that. Eddard Stark : But you just stood there and watched. Jaime Lannister : 500 men just stood there and watched. All the great knights of the Seven Kingdoms. You think anyone said a word, lifted a finger ? No, Lord Stark. 500 men and this room was silent as a crypt. Except for the screams, of course, and the Mad King laughing. And later... When I watched the Mad King die, I remembered him laughing as your father brned... It felt like justice. Eddard Stark : Is that what you tell yourself at night ? You're a servant of justice ? That you were avenging my father when you shoved your sword in Aerys Targaryen's back ? Jaime Lannister : Tell me... If I'd sab the Mad King in the belly instead of the back, would you admire me more ? Eddard Stark : You served him well when serving was safe. Varys : Lord Stark. Eddard Stark : Lord Varys. Varys : I was grievously sorry to hear of your troubles on the Kingsroad. We are all praying for Prince Joffrey's full recovery. Eddard Stark : A shame you didn't say a prayer for the butcher's son. Renly ! You're looking well. Renly Baratheon : And you look tired from the road. I told them this meeting could wait another day, but... Petyr Baelish : But we have a Kingdom to look after. I've hoped to meet you for some time, Lord Stark. No doubt Lady Catelyn has mentioned me. Eddard Stark : She has, Lord Baelish. I understand you knew my brother Brandon as well. Petyr Baelish : All too well. I still carry a token of his esteem from navel to collarbone. Eddard Stark : Perhaps you chose the wrong man to duel with. Petyr Baelish : It wasn't the man that I chose, my Lord. It was Catelyn Tully. A woman worth fighting for, I'm sure you'll agree. Grand Maester Pycelle : I humbly beg your pardon, my Lord Stark. Eddard Stark : Grand Maester. Grand Maester Pycelle : How many years has it been ? You were a young man. Eddard Stark : And you served another King. Grand Maester Pycelle : How forgetful of me. This belongs to you, now. Should we begin ? Eddard Stark : Without the King ? Renly Baratheon : Winter may be coming, but I'm afraid the same cannot be said for my brother. Varys : His Grace has many cares. He entrusts some small matters to us that we might lighten the load. Petyr Baelish : We are the lords of small matters here. Renly Baratheon : My brother instructs us to stage a tournament in honor of Lord Stark's appointment as Hand of the King. Petyr Baelish : Mmm, how much ? Eddard Stark : 40 000 gold dragons to the champion, 20 000 to the runner-up, 20 000 to the winning archer. Grand Maester Pycelle : Can the treasury bear such expense ? Petyr Baelish : I'll have to borrow it. The Lannisters will accommodate, I expect. We already owe Lord Tywin 3 million gold. What's another 80 000 ? Eddard Stark : Are you telling me the Crown is three million in debt ? Petyr Baelish : I'm telling you the Crown is six million in debt. Eddard Stark : How could you let this happen ? Petyr Baelish : The Master of Coin finds the money. The King and the Hand spend it. Eddard Stark : I will not believe Jon Arryn allowed Robert to bankrupt the realm. Grand Maester Pycelle : Lord Arryn gave wise and prudent advice, but I fear His Grace doesn't always listen. Renly Baratheon : "Counting coppers," he calls it. Eddard Stark : I'll speak to him tomorrow. This tournament is an extravagance we cannot afford. Petyr Baelish : As you will. But still, we'd best make our plans. Eddard Stark : There will be no plans until I speak to Robert. Forgive me, my Lords. I had a long ride. Varys : You are the King's Hand, Lord Stark, we serve at your pleasure. Cersei Baratheon : Please, it's nearly healed. Joffrey Baratheon : It's ugly. Cersei Baratheon : A King should have scars, you fought off a direwolf. You're a warrior like your father. Joffrey Baratheon : I'm not like him. I didn't fight off anything. It bit me and all I did was scream. And the two Stark girls saw it, both of them. Cersei Baratheon : That's not true. You klled the beast. You only spared the girl because of the love your father bears her father. When Aerys Targaryen sat on the Iron Throne, your father was a rebel and a traitor. Someday you'll sit on the throne and the truth will be what you make it. Joffrey Baratheon : Do I have to marry her ? Cersei Baratheon : Yes. She's very beautiful and young. If you don't like her, you only need to see her on formal occasions and when the time comes, to make little princes and princesses. And if you'd rather fck painted whores, you'll fck painted whores. And if you'd rather lie with noble virgins, so be it. You are my darling boy and the world will be exactly as you want it to be. Do something nice for the Stark girl. Joffrey Baratheon : I don't want to. Cersei Baratheon : No, but you will. The occasional kindness will spare you all sorts of trouble down the road. Joffrey Baratheon : We allow the northerners too much power. They consider themselves our equals. Cersei Baratheon : How would you handle them ? Joffrey Baratheon : I'd double their taxes and command them to supply 10 000 men to the royal army. Cersei Baratheon : A royal army ? Joffrey Baratheon : Why should every lord command his own men ? It's primitive, no better than the hill tribes. We should have a standing army of men loyal to the Crown, trained by experienced soldiers... Instead of a mob of peasants who've never held pikes in their lives. Cersei Baratheon : And if the northerners rebel ? Joffrey Baratheon : I'd crush them. Seize Winterfell and install someone loyal to the realm as Warden of the North. Uncle Kevan, maybe. Cersei Baratheon : And these 10 000 northern troops, would they fight for you or their lord ? Joffrey Baratheon : For me. I'm their King. Cersei Baratheon : But you've just invde their homeland, asked them to kll their brothers. Joffrey Baratheon : I'm not asking. Cersei Baratheon : The North cannot be held... not by an outsider. It's too big and too wild. When the winter comes, the Seven gods together couldn't save you and your royal army. A good King knows when to save his strength... And when to destroy his enemies. Joffrey Baratheon : So you agree... The Starks are enemies ? Cersei Baratheon : Everyone who isn't us is an enemy. Septa Mordane : Enough of that, young lady. Eat your food. Arya Stark : I'm practicing. Sansa Stark : Practicing for what ? Arya Stark : The Prince. Septa Mordane : Arya, stop ! Arya Stark : He's a liar and a coward and he klled my friend. Sansa Stark : The Hound klled your friend. Arya Stark : The Hound does whatever the Prince tells him to do. Sansa Stark : You're an idiot. Arya Stark : You're a liar. And if you told the truth, Mycah would be alive. Septa Mordane : Enough ! Eddard Stark : What's happening here ? Septa Mordane : Arya would rather act like a beast than a lady. Eddard Stark : Go to your room. We'll speak later. That's for you, love. The same dollmaker makes all of Princess Myrcella's toys. Don't you like it ? Sansa Stark : I haven't played with dolls since I was eight. May I be excused ? Septa Mordane : You've barely eaten a thing. Eddard Stark : It's all right. Go on. wr was easier than daughters. Arya Stark : Go away ! Eddard Stark : Arya, open the door. May I come in ? Whose sword is that ? Arya Stark : Mine. Eddard Stark : Give it to me. I know this maker's mark. This is Mikken's work. Where did you get this ? This is no toy. Little ladies shouldn't play with swords. Arya Stark : I wasn't playing. And I don't want to be a lady. Eddard Stark : Come here. Now what do you want with this ? Arya Stark : It's called Needle. Eddard Stark : A blade with a name. And who were you hoping to skewer with Needle ? Your sister ? Do you know the first thing about sword fighting ? Arya Stark : Stick 'em with the pointy end. Eddard Stark : That's the essence of it. Arya Stark : I was trying to learn. I asked Mycah to practice with me. I asked him. It was my fault. Eddard Stark : No, sweet girl. You didn't kll the butcher's boy. Arya Stark : I hate them ! I hate all of them. The Hound, the Queen and the King and Joffrey and Sansa. Eddard Stark : Sansa was dragged before the King and Queen... And asked to call the Prince a liar. Arya Stark : So was I ! He is a liar. Eddard Stark : Darling, listen to me. Sansa will be married to Joffrey someday. She cannot betray him. She must take his side even when he's wrong. Arya Stark : But how you can let her marry someone like that ? Eddard Stark : Look at me. You're a Stark of Winterfell. You know our words. Arya Stark : Winter is coming. Eddard Stark : You were born in the long summer. You've never known anything else. But now winter is truly coming. And in the winter, we must protect ourselves, look after one another. Sansa is your sister. Arya Stark : I don't hate her. Not really. Eddard Stark : I don't want to frighten you, but I won't lie to you either. We've come to a dangerous place. We cannot fight a wr amongst ourselves. All right ? Go on. It's yours. Arya Stark : I can keep it ? Eddard Stark : Try not to sab your sister with it. If you're going to own a sword, you'd better know how to use it. Old Nan : Don't listen to it. Crows are all liars. I know a story about a crow. Bran Stark : I hate your stories. Old Nan : I know a story about a boy who hated stories. I could tell you about Ser Duncan the Tall. Those were always your favorites. Bran Stark : Those weren't my favorites. My favorites were the scary ones. Old Nan : Oh, my sweet summer child. What do you know about fear ? Fear is for the winter, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep. Fear is for the long night, when the sun hides for years and children are born and live and die all in darkness. That is the time for fear, my little Lord, when the White Walkers move through the woods. Thousands of years ago there came a night that lasted a generation. Kings froze to death in their castles, same as the shepherds in their huts. And women smothered their babies rather than see them starve, and wept and felt the tears freeze on their cheeks. So is this the sort of story that you like ? In that darkness, the White Walkers came for the first time. They swept through cities and kingdoms, riding their dad horses, hunting with their packs of pale spiders big as hounds... Robb Stark : What are you telling him now ? Old Nan : Only what the little Lord wants to hear. Robb Stark : Get your supper. I want some time with him. One time she told me the sky is blue because we live inside the eye of a blue-eyed giant named Macomber. Bran Stark : Maybe we do. Robb Stark : How do you feel ? You still don't remember anything ? I've seen you climb a thousand times. In the wind, in the rain... A thousand times. You never fall. Bran Stark : I did though. It's true, isn't it... what Maester Luwin says about my legs ? I'd rather be dad. Robb Stark : Don't ever say that. Bran Stark : I'd rather be dad. Rodrick Cassel : Fewer eyes back here, my Lady. But still too many. Catelyn Stark : It's nine years since I've set foot in the capital. And no one knew who I was the last time I came either. Rodrick Cassel : My Lady. Guard : Welcome to King's Landing, Lady Stark. Would you mind following us ? Catelyn Stark : I would. We've done nothing wrong. Guard : We've been instructed to escort you into the city. Catelyn Stark : Instructed ? I don't know who's providing your instructions, but... Guard : Follow me, Lady Stark. Petyr Baelish : Cat ! Go on. Go upstairs. Catelyn Stark : You little worm ! You take me for some back-alley Sally you can drag into a... Petyr Baelish : I meant no disrespect to you of all people. Catelyn Stark : How dare you bring me here ! Have you lost your mind ? Petyr Baelish : No one will come looking for you here. Isn't that what like you wanted ? I'm truly sorry... about the locale. Catelyn Stark : How did you know I was coming to King's Landing ? Petyr Baelish : A dear friend told me. Varys : Lady Stark. Catelyn Stark : Lord Varys. Varys : To see you again after so many years is a blessing. Your poor hands. Catelyn Stark : How did you know I was coming ? Varys : Knowledge is my trade, my Lady. Did you bring the dagger with you, by any chance ? My little birds are everywhere. Even in the north. They whisper to me the strangest stories. Valyrian steel. Catelyn Stark : Do you know whose dagger this is ? Varys : I must admit I do not. Petyr Baelish : Well well, this is an historic day. Something you don't know that I do. There's only one dagger like this in all of the Seven Kingdoms. It's mine. Catelyn Stark : Yours ? Petyr Baelish : At least it was, until the tournament on Prince Joffrey's last nameday. I bet on Ser Jaime in the jousting, as any sane man would. When the Knight of the Flowers unseated him, I lost this dagger. Catelyn Stark : To whom ? Petyr Baelish : Tyrion Lannister. The Imp. Alliser Thorne : Grenn, show him what you farm boys are made of. If that were a real sword, you'd be dad. Lord Snow here grew up in a castle spitting down on the likes of you. Pyp. Do you think Ned Stark's bastard bleeds like the rest of us ? Next ! Next ! Lord Snow, it appears you're the least useless person here. Go clean yourselves up. There's only so much I can stomach in a day. Tyrion Lannister : A charming man. Jeor Mormont : I don't need him to be charming. I need him to turn this bunch of thieves and runaways into men of the Night's Watch. Tyrion Lannister : And how's that going, Commander Mormont ? Jeor Mormont : Slowly. A raven came for Ned Stark's son. Tyrion Lannister : Good news or bad ? Jeor Mormont : Both. Grand Maester Pycelle : Lord Stark. I meant to give you this earlier. So forgetful these days. A raven from Winterfell this morning. Petyr Baelish : Good news ? Perhaps you'd like to share it with your wife ? Eddard Stark : My wife is in Winterfell. Petyr Baelish : Is she ? Petyr Baelish : I thought that she'd be safest in here. One of several such establishments I own. Eddard Stark : You're a funny man. A very funny man. Catelyn Stark : Ned ! Petyr Baelish : The Starks... Quick tempers, slow minds. Grenn : You broke my nose, bastard ! Jon Snow : It's an improvement. Grenn : If we threw you over the Wall, wonder how long it'd take you to ht. Pyp : I wonder if they'd find you before the wolves did. Grenn : What're you looking at, Half Man ? Tyrion Lannister : I'm looking at you. You've got an interesting face. Very distinctive faces. All of you. Rast : What do you care about our faces ? Tyrion Lannister : It's just I think they would look marvellous decorating spikes in King's Landing. Perhaps I'll write my sister, the Queen, about it. Grenn : We'll talk later, Lord Snow. Jon Snow : Everybody knew what this place was and no one told me. No one but you. My father knew and left me to rot here at the Wall all the same. Tyrion Lannister : Grenn's father left him too... Outside a farmhouse when he was three. Pyp was caught stealing a wheel of cheese. His little sister hadn't eaten in three days. He was given a choice: his right hand or the Wall. I've been asking the Lord Commander about them. Fascinating stories. Jon Snow : They hate me because I'm better than they are. Tyrion Lannister : It's a lucky thing none of them were trained by a master-at-arms like your Ser Rodrik. I don't imagine any of them have ever held a real sword before they came here. Your brother Bran. He's woken up. Petyr Baelish : The mere suggestion that the Queen's brother tried to kll your boy would be considered treason. Catelyn Stark : We have proof. We have the blade. Petyr Baelish : Which Lord Tyrion will say was stolen from him. The only man who could say otherwise has no throat, thanks to your boy's wolf. Catelyn Stark : Petyr has promised to help us find the truth. He's like a little brother to me. He would never betray my trust. Petyr Baelish : I'll try to keep you alive, for her sake. A fool's task, admittedly, but I've never been able to refuse your wife anything. Catelyn Stark : I won't forget this. You're a true friend. Petyr Baelish : Don't tell anyone. I have a reputation to maintain. Cersei Baratheon : How could you be so stupid ? Jaime Lannister : Calm down. Cersei Baratheon : He's a child... 10 years old. What were you thinking ? Jaime Lannister : I was thinking of us. You're a bit late to start complaining about it now. What has the boy told them ? Cersei Baratheon : Nothing. He's said nothing. He remembers nothing. Jaime Lannister : Then what are you raving about ? Cersei Baratheon : What if it comes back to him ? If he tells his father what he saw... Jaime Lannister : We'll say he was lying. We'll say he was dreaming. We'll say whatever we like. I think we can outfox a 10-year-old. Cersei Baratheon : And my husband ? Jaime Lannister : I'll go to wr with him if I have to. They can write a ballad about us : "The wr for Cersei's c*t." Cersei Baratheon : Let me go. Jaime Lannister : Never. Cersei Baratheon : Let me go. Jaime Lannister : The boy won't talk. And if he does, I'll kll him. Him, Ned Stark, the King... the whole bloody lot of them, until you and I are the only people left in this world. Catelyn Stark : I wish I could see the girls. Eddard Stark : It's too dangerous. Catelyn Stark : Just for a moment. Eddard Stark : Until we know who our enemies are... Catelyn Stark : I know they did it, Ned. The Lannisters. In my bones, I know it. Eddard Stark : Littlefinger's right. I can't do anything without proof. Cersei Baratheon : And if you find the proof ? Eddard Stark : Then I bring it to Robert... And hope he's still the man I once knew. You watch yourself on the road, huh ? That temper of yours is a dangerous thing. Catelyn Stark : My temper ? Gods be good, you nearly klled poor Littlefinger yesterday. Eddard Stark : He still loves you. Catelyn Stark : Does he ? Eddard Stark : Off with you. Robert Baratheon : It's been a long time. But I still remember every face. You remember your first ? Barristan Selmy : Of course, your Grace. Robert Baratheon : Who was it ? Barristan Selmy : A Tyroshi. Never learned the name. Robert Baratheon : How'd you do it ? Barristan Selmy : Lance through the heart. Robert Baratheon : Quick one. Lucky for you. Mine was some Tarly boy at the Battle of Summerhall. My horse took an arrow so I was on foot, slogging through the mud. He came running at me, this dumb high-born lad, thinking he could end the rebellion with the single swing of his sword. I knocked him down with the hammer. Gods, I was strong then. Caved in his breastplate. Probably shattered every rib he had. Stood over him, hammer in the air. Right before I brought it down he shouted, "Wait ! Wait." They never tell you how they all shit themselves. They don't put that part in the songs. Stupid boy. Now the Tarlys bend the knee like everyone else. He could have lingered on the edge of the battle with the smart boys and today his wife would be making him miserable, his sons would be ingrates, and he'd be waking three times in the night to piss into a bowl. Wine ! Lancel. Gods, what a stupid name. Lancel Lannister. Who named you ? Some halfwit with a stutter ? What are you doing ? Lancel Lannister : It's empty, your Grace. Robert Baratheon : What do you mean it's empty ? Lancel Lannister : There's no more wine. Robert Baratheon : Is that what empty means ? So get more. Tell your cousin to get in here. Kingslayer ! Get in here. Surrounded by Lannisters. Every time I close my eyes I see their blond hair and their smug, satisfied faces. It must wound your pride, huh ? Standing out there like a glorified sentry. Jaime Lannister, son of the mighty Tywin... Forced to mind the door while your King eats and drinks and shits and fck. So come on. We're telling wr stories. Who was your first kll, not counting old men ? Jaime Lannister : One of the outlaws in the Brotherhood. Barristan Selmy : I was there that day. You were only a squire, 16 years old. Jaime Lannister : You klled Simon Toyne with a counter riposte. Best move I ever saw. Barristan Selmy : A good fighter, Toyne, but he lacked stamina. Robert Baratheon : Your outlaw... Any last words ? Jaime Lannister : I cut his head off, so no. Robert Baratheon : What about Aerys Targaryen ? What did the Mad King say when you sab him in the back ? I never asked. Did he call you a traitor ? Did he plead for a reprieve ? Jaime Lannister : He said the same thing he'd been saying for hours... "Burn them all." If that's all, your Grace... Daenerys Targaryen : Do the Dothrakis buy their slaves ? Jorah Mormont : The Dothraki don't believe in money. Most of their slaves were given to them as gifts. Daenerys Targaryen : From whom ? Jorah Mormont : If you rule a city and you see the horde approaching, you have two choices : pay tribute or fight. An easy choice for most. Of course, sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes a Khal feels insulted by the number of slaves he's given. He might think the men too weak or the women too ugly. Sometimes a Khal decides his riders haven't had a good fight in months and need the practice. Daenerys Targaryen : Tell them all to stop. Jorah Mormont : You want the entire horde to stop ? For how long ? Daenerys Targaryen : Until I command them otherwise. Jorah Mormont : You're learning to talk like a Queen. Daenerys Targaryen : Not a Queen. A Khaleesi. Viserys Targaryen : You dare ! You give commands to me ? To me ? You do not command the dragon. I am Lord of the Seven Kingdoms. I don't take orders from savages or their sluts. Do you hear me ? Irri : Rakharo ask if you want him dad, Khaleesi. Daenerys Targaryen : No ! Irri : Rakharo say you should take ear, to teach respect. Daenerys Targaryen : Please please, don't hurt him. Tell him I don't want my brother harmed. Viserys Targaryen : kll these Dothraki dogs ! I am your King ! Jorah Mormont : Shall we return to the Khalasar ? Rakharo : You walk. Benjen Stark : I wanted to be here when you saw it for the first time. I'm leaving this morning. Jon Snow : You're leaving ? Benjen Stark : I'm the First Ranger. My job is out there. There have been disturbing reports. Jon Snow : What kind of reports ? Benjen Stark : The kind I don't want to believe. Jon Snow : I'm ready. I won't let you down. Benjen Stark : You're not going. You're no ranger, Jon. Jon Snow : But I'm better than every... Benjen Stark : Better than no one ! Here... A man gets what he earns, when he earns it. We'll speak when I return. Yoren : A bear's balls. Tyrion Lannister : You're joking ? Yoren : And his brains and his guts, his lungs and his heart all fried in his own fat. When you're a hundred miles north of the Wall and you ate your last meal a week ago, you leave nothing for the wolves. Tyrion Lannister : And how do a bear's balls taste ? Yoren : A bit chewy. And what about you, my Lord ? What's the strangest thing you've eaten ? Tyrion Lannister : Do Dornish girls count ? So you roam the Seven Kingdoms, collaring pickpockets and horse thieves and bringing them here as eager recruits ? Yoren : But it's not all of 'em's done bad things. Some of 'em's just poor lads looking for steady feed. Some of 'em's high-born lads looking for glory. Tyrion Lannister : They have a better chance finding feed than glory. Benjen Stark : The Night's Watch is a joke to you, is it ? Is that what we are, Lannister ? An army of jesters in black ? Tyrion Lannister : You don't have enough men to be an army and aside from Yoren here, none of you are particularly funny. Benjen Stark : I hope we've provided you with some good stories to tell when you're back in King's Landing. But something to think about while you're drinking your wine down there, enjoying your brothels... Half the boys you've seen training will die north of the Wall. Might be a wilding's axe that gets them, might be sickness, might just be the cold. They die in pain. And they do it so plump little lords like you can enjoy their summer afternoons in peace and comfort. Tyrion Lannister : Do you think I'm plump ? Listen, Benjen... May I call you Benjen ? Benjen Stark : Call me what you like. Tyrion Lannister : I'm not sure what I've done to offend you. I have great admiration for the Night's Watch. I've great admiration for you as First Ranger. Benjen Stark : You know, my brother once told me that nothing someone says before the word "but" really counts. Tyrion Lannister : But... I don't believe that giants and ghouls and White Walkers are lurking beyond the Wall. I believe that the only difference between us and the wildlings is that when the Wall went up, our ancestors happened to live on the right side of it. Benjen Stark : You're right. The wildlings are no different from us. A little rougher maybe. But they're made of meat and bone. I know how to track them and I know how to kll them. It's not the wildlings giving me sleepless nights. You've never been north of the Wall, so don't tell me what's out there. Yoren : Are you going below ? Keep well, keep warm. Benjen Stark : Enjoy the capital, brother. Yoren : I always do. Tyrion Lannister : I think he's starting to like me. "Going below" ? Yoren : Into the tunnel and out the other side. He'll be north of the Wall for a month or two. Tyrion Lannister : So you're heading down to King's Landing too. Yoren : Day after tomorrow. I get about half of my recruits from their dungeons. Tyrion Lannister : Let's share the road. I could use some decent company. Yoren : I travel a bit on the grubby side, my Lord. Tyrion Lannister : Not this time. We'll be staying at the finest castles and inns. No one turns away a Lannister. Irri : Yes, Khaleesi. Daenerys Targaryen : What are you doing ? Irri : When was last time you bleed, Khaleesi ? You change, Khaleesi. It’s a blessing from the Great Stallion. Jorah Mormont : For a man on horseback, the curved blade is a good thing, easier to handle. It's a good wapon for a Dothrakan. But a man in full plate... the arakh won't get through the steel. That's where the broadsword has the advantage. Designed for piercing plate. Rakharo : Dothraki don’t wear steel dresses. Jorah Mormont : Armor. Rakharo : Armor. Armor make a man... Vroz ? Jorah Mormont : Slow. Rakharo : Slow. Jorah Mormont : It's true, but it also keeps a man alive. Rakharo : My father taught me how to fight. He taught me that speed defeats size. Jorah Mormont : I’ve heard that your father was a famous warrior. Rakharo : He was bloodrider to Khal Bharbo. And your father, Jorah the Andal ? He was a warrior also ? Jorah Mormont : He still is. A man of great honor. And I betrayed him. Irri : The Khaleesi wants to eat something different tonight. kll some rabbits. Rakharo : There are no rabbits. Irri : Find some ducks, she likes ducks. Rakharo : Have you seen any ducks, woman ? No rabbits, no ducks. Do you have eyes in your head ? Do you ? Irri : Dog then. I have seen many dogs. Jorah Mormont : I don't think she wants to eat dog. Irri : The Khaleesi have baby inside her. It is true. She does not bleed for two moons. Her belly start to swell. Rakharo : A blessing from the Great Stallion. Irri : She does not want to eat horse. Jorah Mormont : I'll have the boys butcher a goat for supper. I need to ride to Qohor. Rhakaro : We ride for Vaes Dothrak. Jorah Mormont : Don't worry. I'll catch you. The horde's easy to find. Jon Snow : Don't stand so still. It's harder to ht a moving target. Except for you. You move too much. I could just hold my sword out and let you do the work for me. Maester Aemon : How many winters have you seen, Lord Tyrion ? Tyrion Lannister : Eight... no, nine. Maester Aemon : All of them brief ? Tyrion Lannister : They say the winter of my birth was three years long, Maester Aemon. Maester Aemon : This summer has lasted nine. But reports from the Citadel tell us the days grow shorter. The Starks are always right eventually : winter is coming. This one will be long and dark things will come with it. Jeor Mormont : We've been capturing wildlings, more every month. They're fleeing south. The ones who flee... say they've seen the White Walkers. Tyrion Lannister : Yes, and the fishermen of Lannisport say they see mermaids. Jeor Mormont : One of our own rangers swore he saw them kll his companions. He swore it right up to the moment Ned Stark chopped his head off. Maester Aemon : The Night's Watch is the only thing standing between the realm and what lies beyond. And it has become an army of undisciplined boys and tired old men. There are less than a thousand of us now. We can't man the other castles on the Wall. We can't properly patrol the wilderness. We've barely enough resources to keep our lads armed and fed. Jeor Mormont : Your sister sits by the side the King. Tell her we need help. Maester Aemon : When winter does come, gods help us all if we're not ready. Daenerys Targaryen : It’s a boy. Khal Drogo : How do you know ? Daenerys Targaryen : I know. Jon Snow : I'm sorry to see you leave, Lannister. Tyrion Lannister : It's either me or this cold. And it doesn't appear to be going anywhere. Jon Snow : Will you stop at Winterfell on your way South ? Tyrion Lannister : I expect I will. Gods know there aren't many feather beds between here and King's Landing. Jon Snow : If you see my brother Bran, tell him I miss him. Tell him I'd visit if I could. Tyrion Lannister : Of course. Jon Snow : He'll never walk again. Tyrion Lannister : If you're going to be a cripple, it's better to be a rich cripple. Take care, Snow. Jon Snow : Farewell, My Lord. Syrio Forel : You are late, boy. Tomorrow you will be here at midday. Arya Stark : Who are you ? Syrio Forel : Your dancing master, Syrio Forel. Tomorrow you will catch it. Now pick it up. That is not the way, boy. This is not a great sword that is needing two hands to swing it. Arya Stark : It's too heavy. Syrio Forel : It is heavy as it needs to be to make you strong. Just so. One hand is all that is needed. Now you are standing all wrong. Turn your body sideface. So. You are skinny. That is good. The target is smaller. Now the grip... Let me see. The grip must be delicate. Arya Stark : What if I drop it ? Syrio Forel : The steel must be part of your arm. Can you drop part of your arm ? No. Nine years Syrio Forel was first sword to the Sealord of Braavos. He knows these things. You must listen to me, boy. Arya Stark : I'm a girl. Syrio Forel : Boy, girl... You are a sword, that is all. That is the grip. You are not holding a battle-axe. You are holding... Arya Stark : A needle. Syrio Forel : Just so. Now we will begin the dance. Remember, child, this is not the dance of the Westeros we are learning... The knight's dance, hacking and hammering. This is the Bravo's dance... The water dance. It is swift and sudden. All men are made of water, do you know this ? If you pierce them, the water leaks out and they die. Now you will try to strike me. Up ! dad. dad. Very dad. Come. Again, faster.	{"type": "series", "show": "Game of Thrones", "episode": "01x03 - Lord Snow"}	foreverdreaming
Tell them all to stop. For how long? Until I command them otherwise. You're learning to talk like a Queen. Not a Queen. A Khaleesi. Lord Snow here grew up in a castle spitting down on the likes of you. Everybody knew what this place was, but no one told me ... no one but you. The Khaleesi have baby inside her. It is true. Her belly start to swell. I need to ride to Qohor. What did Aaerys Targaryen say when you sab him in the back? He said the same thing he'd been saying for hours ... "burn them all." My brother instructs us to stage a tournament in honor of Lord Stark's appointment as Hand of the King. This tournament is an extravagance we cannot afford. I'm leaving this morning. My job is out there. I won't let you down. You're not going. Here, a man gets what he earns when he earns it. I don't take orders from savages or their sluts. I don't want my brother harmed. Mormont, kll these Dothraki dogs! We've come to a dangerous place. We must protect ourselves. Ah! We allow the Northerners too much power. A good King knows when to save his strength and when to destroy his enemies. So you agree... The Starks are enemies? Everyone who isn't us is an enemy. Do you know whose dagger this is? Littlefinger: I do. Tyrion Lannister's... The imp. ♪ Game of Thrones 1x04 ♪ Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things Original Air Date on May 8, 2011 Old Nan: The little Lord's been dreaming again. Theon Greyjoy: We have visitors. Bran Stark: I don't want to see anyone. Theon Greyjoy: Really? If I was cooped up all day with no one but this old bat for company, I'd go mad. Anyway, you don't have a choice. Robb's waiting. Bran Stark: I don't want to go. Theon Greyjoy: Neither do I. But Robb's Lord of Winterfell, which means I do what he says and you do what I say. Hodor! Help Bran down the hall. Tyrion Lannister: I must say I received a slightly warmer welcome on my last visit. Robb Stark: Any man of the Night's Watch is welcome at Winterfell. Tyrion Lannister: Any man of the Night's Watch, but not I, eh, boy? Robb Stark: I'm not your boy, Lannister. I'm Lord of Winterfell while my father is away. Tyrion Lannister: Then you might learn a lord's courtesy. So it's true. Hello Bran. Do you remember anything about what happened? Maester Luwin: He has no memory of that day. Tyrion Lannister: Curious. Robb Stark: Why are you here? Tyrion Lannister: Would your charming companion be so kind as to kneel? My neck is beginning to hurt. Bran Stark: Kneel, Hodor. Tyrion Lannister: Do you like to ride, Bran? Bran Stark: Yes. Well, I mean I did like to. Maester Luwin: The boy has lost the use of his legs. Tyrion Lannister: What of it? With the right horse and saddle, even a cripple can ride. Bran Stark: I'm not a cripple. Tyrion Lannister: Then I'm not a dwarf. My father will rejoice to hear it. I have a gift for you. Give that to your saddler. He'll provide the rest. You must shape the horse to the rider. Start with a yearling and teach it to respond to the reins and to the boy's voice. Bran Stark: Will I really be able to ride? Tyrion Lannister: You will. On horseback you will be as tall as any of them. Robb Stark: Is this some kind of trick? Why do you want to help him? Tyrion Lannister: I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards and broken things. Robb Stark: You've done my brother a kindness. The hospitality of Winterfell is yours. Tyrion Lannister: Spare me your false courtesies, Lord Stark. There's a brothel outside your walls. There I'll find a bed and both of us can sleep easier. Theon Greyjoy: Couldn't resist some northern ass? If you like redheads, ask for Ros. Tyrion Lannister: Come to see me off, Greyjoy? Kind of you. Your master doesn't seem to like Lannisters. Theon Greyjoy: He's not my master. Tyrion Lannister: No, of course not. What happened here? Where is lady Stark? Why didn't she receive me? Theon Greyjoy: She wasn't feeling well. Tyrion Lannister: She's not in Winterfell, is she? Where did she go? Theon Greyjoy: My lady's whereabouts... Tyrion Lannister: My lady? Your loyalty to your captors is touching. Tell me, how do you think Balon Greyjoy would feel if he could see his only surviving son has turned lackey? I still remember seeing my father's fleet burn in Lannisport. I believe your uncles were responsible? Theon Greyjoy: Must have been a pretty sight. Tyrion Lannister: Nothing prettier than watching sailors burn alive. Yes, a great victory for your people. Shame how it all turned out. Theon Greyjoy: We were outnumbered 10 to one. Tyrion Lannister: A stupid rebellion then. I suppose your father realized that when your brothers died in battle. Now here you are, your enemy's squire. Theon Greyjoy: Careful, Imp. Tyrion Lannister: I've offended you. Forgive me, it's been a rough morning. Anyway, don't despair. I'm a constant disappointment to my own father and I've learned to live with it. Your next tumble with Ros is on me. I'll try not to wear her out. Jon Snow: Leg, shoulder, leg. Left foot forward. Good. Now pivot as you deliver the stroke. Put all your weight behind it. Grenn: What in seven hells is that? Pyp: They'll need an eighth hell to fit him in. Alliser Thorne: Tell them your name. Samwell Tarly: Samwell Tarly, of Horn Hill. I mean, I was of Horn Hill. I've come to take the black. Rast: Come to take the black pudding. Alliser Thorne: Well, you couldn't be any worse than you look. See what he can do. Samwell Tarly: I yield. Please, no more. Alliser Thorne: On your feet. Pick up your sword. ht him till he finds his feet. It seems they've run short of poachers and thieves down south. Now they send us squealing bloody pigs. Again, harder. Jon Snow: Enough! He yielded. Alliser Thorne: Looks like the bastard's in love. All right then, lord Snow, you wish to defend your lady love, let's make it an exercise. You two. Three of you ought to be sufficient to make lady piggy squeal. All you've got to do is get past the bastard. Jon Snow: Are you sure you want to do this? Grenn: No. Yield yield yield! I yield. Alliser Thorne: We're done for today. Go clean the armory. That's all you're good for. Pyp: Well fought! Grenn: Piss off. Samwell Tarly: Did he hurt you? Jon Snow: I've had worse. Samwell Tarly: You can call me Sam... If you want. My mother calls me Sam. Jon Snow: It's not going to get any easier, you know? You'll have to defend yourself. Grenn: Why didn't you get up and fight? Samwell Tarly: I wanted to. I just couldn't. Grenn: Why not? Samwell Tarly: I'm a coward. My father always says so. Jon Snow: The Wall's no place for cowards. Samwell Tarly: You're right. I'm sorry. I just... Wanted to thank you. Grenn: A bloody coward. People saw us talking to him. Now they'll think we're cowards too. Pyp: You're too stupid to be a coward. Grenn: You're too stupid to be a... Pyp: Quick now, before summer's over. Grenn: Come on here! Jorah Mormont: Vaes Dothrak. The city of the horselords. Viserys Targaryen: A pile of mud. Mud and shit and twigs - best these savages can do. Daenerys Targaryen: These are my people now. You shouldn't call them savages. Viserys Targaryen: I'll call them what I like, because they're my people. This is my army. Khal Drogo is marching the wrong way with my army. Daenerys Targaryen: If my brother was given an army of Dothraki, could you conquer the Seven Kingdoms? Jorah Mormont: The Dothraki have never crossed the Narrow Sea. They fear any water their horses can't drink. Daenerys Targaryen: But if they did? Jorah Mormont: King Robert is fool enough to meet them in open battle, but the men advising him are different. Daenerys Targaryen: And you know these men? Jorah Mormont: I fought beside them once, long ago. Now Ned Stark wants my head. He drove me from my land. Daenerys Targaryen: You sold slaves. Why? Jorah Mormont: I had no money and an expensive wife. Daenerys Targaryen: And where is she now? Jorah Mormont: In another place, with another man. Doreah: Your Grace? Viserys Targaryen: Yes, my dear? Doreah: They call you the last dragon... Viserys Targaryen: They do. Doreah: You have dragon's blood in your veins? Viserys Targaryen: It's entirely possible. Doreah: What happened to the dragons? I was told that brave men klled them all. Viserys Targaryen: The brave men didn't kll dragons. The brave men rode them. Rode them from Valyria to build the greatest civilization this world has ever seen. The breath of the greatest dragon forged the Iron Throne, which the Usurper is keeping warm for me. The swords of the vanquished, a thousand of them... melted together like so many candles. Doreah: I have always wanted to see a dragon. There is nothing in the world that I would rather see. Viserys Targaryen: Really? Why dragons? Doreah: They can fly. And wherever they are, just a few flaps of their wings and they're somewhere else... Far away. And they can kll. Anyone or anything that tries to hurt them gets brned away to nothing... melted... like so many candles. Seeing a dragon would make me very happy. Viserys Targaryen: Well, after 15 years in a pleasure house, I imagine just seeing the sky makes you happy. Doreah: I was not locked in. I have seen things. Viserys Targaryen: What have you seen? Doreah: I've seen... A man from Asshai with a dagger of real dragonglass. I've seen a man who could change his face the way that other men change their clothes. And I've seen a pirate who wore his weight in gold and whose ship had sails of colored silk. So... Have you seen one? Viserys Targaryen: A pirate ship? Doreah: A dragon. Viserys Targaryen: No, the last one died many years before I was born. I'll tell you what I have seen: their skulls. They used to decorate the throne room in the Red Keep. When I was very young, just 3 or 4, my father used to walk me down the rows and I'd recite their names for him. When I got them all right, he'd give me a sweet. The ones closest to the door were the last ones they were able to hatch and they were all stunted and wrong. Skulls no bigger than dog skulls. But as you got closer to the Iron Throne... They got bigger and bigger and bigger. There was Ghiscar and Valryon, Vermithrax, Essovius, Archonel, Meraxes, Vhagar... And Balerion the Dread... whose fre forged the Seven Kingdoms into one. Doreah: What happened to the skulls? Viserys Targaryen: I don't know. The Usurper had them smashed to powder, I expect. Scattered to the wind. Doreah: That's very sad. Viserys Targaryen: Yes, it is. What did I buy you for? To make me sad? Doreah: No, your Grace. To teach your sister. Viserys Targaryen: To teach my sister how to be a better lover? You think I bought you to make Khal Drogo happy? You pretty little idiot. Go on then. Get on with it. Septa Mordane: Someday your husband will sit there and you will sit by his side. And one day, before too long, you will present your son to the court. All the lords of Westeros will gather here to see the little prince... Sansa Stark: What if I have a girl? Septa Mordane: Gods be good, you'll have boys and girls and plenty of them. Sansa Stark: What if I only have girls? Septa Mordane: I wouldn't worry about that. Sansa Stark: Jeyne Poole's mother had five children, all of them girls. Septa Mordane: Yes, but it's highly unlikely. Sansa Stark: But what if? Septa Mordane: If you only had girls, I suppose the throne would pass to Prince Joffrey's little brother. Sansa Stark: And everyone would hate me. Septa Mordane: Nobody could ever hate you. Sansa Stark: Joffrey does. Septa Mordane: Nonsense. Why would you say such a thing? That business with the wolves? I've told you a hundred times... A direwolf is not... Sansa Stark: Please shut up about it. Septa Mordane: Do you remember your lessons? Who built the Iron Throne? Sansa Stark: Aegon the Conqueror. Septa Mordane: And who built the Red Keep? Sansa Stark: Maegor the Cruel. Septa Mordane: And how many years did it take to build... Sansa Stark: My grandfather and uncle were mrder here, weren't they? Septa Mordane: They were klled on the orders of King Aerys, yes. Sansa Stark: The Mad King. Septa Mordane: Commonly known as the Mad King. Sansa Stark: Why were they klled? Septa Mordane: You should be speak to your father about these matters. Sansa Stark: I don't want to speak to my father, ever. Septa Mordane: You will find it in your heart to forgive your father. Sansa Stark: No, I won't. Janos Slynt: It's the Hand's tournament that's causing all this trouble, my Lords. Eddard Stark: The King's tournament. I assure you the Hand wants no part of it. Janos Slynt: Call it what you will, Lord Stark Ser, the city is packed with people and more flooding in every day. Last night we had a tavern riot, a brothel fre, three sab and a drunken horse race down the Street of Sisters. Varys: Dreadful. Renly Baratheon: If you can't keep the King's peace, perhaps the City Watch should be commanded by someone who can. Janos Slynt: I need more men. Eddard Stark: You'll get 50. Lord Baelish will see it paid for. Petyr Baelish: I will? Eddard Stark: You found money for a champion's purse, you can find money to keep the peace. I'll also give you 20 of my household guards till the crowds have left. Janos Slynt: Thank you, my Lord Hand Ser. They will be put to good use. Eddard Stark: The sooner this is over, the better. Varys: The realm prospers from such events, my Lord. They give the great a chance at glory, and the lowly a respite from their woes. Petyr Baelish: And every inn in the city is full and the whores are walking bow-legged. Eddard Stark: I'm sure the tourney puts coins in many a pocket. Now... If there's nothing else, my Lords? Grand Maester Pycelle: This heat. On days like this, I envy you northerners your summer snows. Until tomorrow my Lord. Eddard Stark: I've been hoping to talk to you about Jon Arryn. Grand Maester Pycelle: Lord Arryn? His death was a great sadness to all of us. I took personal charge of his care, but I could not save him. His sickness struck him very hard and very fast. I saw him in my chambers just the night before he passed. Lord Jon often came to me for counsel. Eddard Stark: Why? Grand Maester Pycelle: I have been Grand Maester for many years. Kings and Hands have come to me for advice since... Eddard Stark: What did Jon want the night before he died? Grand Maester Pycelle: He came inquiring after a book. Eddard Stark: A book? What book? Grand Maester Pycelle: I fear it would be of little interest to you, my Lord. A ponderous tome. Eddard Stark: I'd like to read it. Grand Maester Pycelle: "The lineages and histories of the great houses of the Seven Kingdoms, with descriptions of many high lords and noble ladies and their children." Eddard Stark: "Harkon Umber, first of his name, born to lord Hother Umber and lady Amaryllis Umber in the 183rd year after Aegon's landing, at the last hearth. Blue of eye, brown of hair and fair complected, died in his 14th year of a wound sustained in a bear hunt." Grand Maester Pycelle: As I said, my Lord, a ponderous read. Eddard Stark: Did Jon Arryn tell you what he wanted with it? Grand Maester Pycelle: He did not, my Lord. And I did not presume to ask. Eddard Stark: Jon's death... Grand Maester Pycelle: Such a tragedy. Eddard Stark: Did he say anything to you during his final hours? Grand Maester Pycelle: Nothing of import, my Lord. There was one phrase he kept repeating: "The seed is strong," I think it was. Eddard Stark: "The seed is strong"? What does that mean? Grand Maester Pycelle: The dying mind is a demented mind, Lord Stark. For all the weight they're given, last words are usually as significant as first words. Eddard Stark: And you're quite certain he died of a natural illness? Grand Maester Pycelle: What else could it be? Eddard Stark: Poison. Grand Maester Pycelle: A disturbing thought. I don't think it likely. The Hand was loved by all. What sort of man would dare... Eddard Stark: I've heard it said that poison is a woman's wapon. Grand Maester Pycelle: Yes. Women, cravens... and eunuchs. Did you know that lord Varys is a eunuch? Eddard Stark: Everybody knows that. Grand Maester Pycelle: Of course. How that sort of person found himself on the King's Council, I will never know. Eddard Stark: I've taken enough of your time. Grand Maester Pycelle: No trouble at all, my Lord. It's a great honor... Eddard Stark: Thank you. I'll find my own way out. Arya Stark: Syrio says a water dancer can stand on one toe for hours. Eddard Stark: It's a hard fall down these steps. Arya Stark: Syrio says every hurt is a lesson and every lesson makes you better. Tomorrow I'm going to be chasing cats. Eddard Stark: Cats? Syrio says… Arya Stark: He says every swordsman should study cats. They're quiet as shadows and as light as feathers. You have to be quick to catch them. Eddard Stark: He's right about that. Arya Stark: Now that Bran's awake will he come live with us? Eddard Stark: He needs to get his strength back first. Arya Stark: He wants to be a knight of the King’s Guard. He can't be one now, can he? Eddard Stark: No. But someday he could be Lord of a holdfast or sit on the King's Council. Or he might raise castles like Brandon the Builder. Arya Stark: Can I be Lord of a holdfast? Eddard Stark: You will marry a high Lord and rule his castle. And your sons shall be knights and princes and lords. Arya Stark: No. That's not me. Samwell Tarly: Hello. Ser Alliser said I'm to be your new watch partner. I should warn you, I don't see all that well. Jon Snow: Come stand by the fre. It's warmer. Samwell Tarly: No, that's all right. I'm fine. Jon Snow: You're not. You're freezing. Samwell Tarly: I don't like high places. Jon Snow: You can't fight. You can't see. You're afraid of heights and almost everything else probably. What are you doing here, Sam? Samwell Tarly: On the morning of my 18th nameday, my father came to me. "You're almost a man now," he said, "but you're not worthy of my land and title. Tomorrow, you're going to take the black, forsake all claim to your inheritance and start north. If you do not," he said, "then we'll have a hunt and somewhere in these woods your horse will stumble and you'll be thrown from your saddle to die. Or so I'll tell your mother. Nothing would please me more." Ser Alliser's going to make me fight again tomorrow, isn't he? Jon Snow: Yes, he is. Samwell Tarly: I'm not going to get any better, you know? Jon Snow: Well… You can't get any worse. Petyr Baelish: I hear you're reading a boring book. Eddard Stark: Pycelle talks too much. Petyr Baelish: He never stops. Do you know Ser Hugh of the Vale? Not surprising. Until recently, he was only a squire... Jon Arryn's squire. He was knighted almost immediately after his master's untimely death. Eddard Stark: Knighted for what? Why are you telling me this? Petyr Baelish: I promised Cat that I'd help you. Eddard Stark: Where is Ser Hugh? I'll speak to him. Petyr Baelish: A singularly bad idea. Do you see that boy there? One of Varys's little birds. The Spider has taken a great interest in your comings and goings. Now look there. That one belongs to the Queen. And do you see that Septa pretending to read her book? Eddard Stark: Varys or the Queen? Petyr Baelish: No. She's one of mine. Is there someone in your service whom you trust completely? Eddard Stark: Yes. Petyr Baelish: The wiser answer was no, my Lord. Get a message to this paragon of yours... Discreetly. Send him to question Ser Hugh. After that, you might want him to visit a certain armorer in the city. He lives in a large house at the top of the street of Steel. Eddard Stark: Why? Petyr Baelish: I have my observers, as I said, and it's possible that they saw Lord Arryn visit this armorer several times in the weeks before his death. Eddard Stark: Lord Baelish, perhaps I was wrong to distrust you. Petyr Baelish: Distrusting me was the wisest thing you've done since you climbed off your horse. Jory Cassel: Ser Hugh? Ser Hugh! Hugh of the Vale: As you can see, I'm busy. Jory Cassel: I'm here on behalf of Lord Eddard Stark, the Hand of the king. I'm the captain of his guard. Hugh of the Vale: I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name, Ser... Jory Cassel: No "ser." I'm not a knight. Hugh of the Vale: I see. Well, it just so happens that I am. Jory Cassel: He said he'd be glad to talk to the Hand himself. He's a knight, you see. Eddard Stark: A knight. They strut around like roosters down here. Even the ones who've never seen an arrow coming their way. Jory Cassel: You shouldn't be out here, my Lord. There's no telling who has eyes where. Eddard Stark: Let them look. Tobho Mott: The former Hand did call on me, my Lord, several times. I regret to say he did not honor me with his patronage. Eddard Stark: What did Lord Arryn want? Tobho Mott: He always came to see the boy. Eddard Stark: I'd like to see him as well. Tobho Mott: As you wish, my Lord. Gendry! Here he is. Strong for his age. He works hard. Show the Hand the helmet you made, lad. Eddard Stark: This is fine work. Gendry: It's not for sale. Tobho Mott: Boy, this is the King's Hand! If his lordship wants the helmet... Gendry: I made it for me. Tobho Mott: Forgive him, my Lord. Eddard Stark: There's nothing to forgive. When Lord Arryn came to visit you, what would you talk about? Gendry: He just asked me questions is all, my Lord. Eddard Stark: What kind of questions? Gendry: About my work at first, if I was being treated well, if I liked it here. But then he started asking me about my mother. Eddard Stark: Your mother? Gendry: Who she was, what she looked like. Eddard Stark: What did you tell him? Gendry: She died when I was little. She had yellow hair. She'd sing to me sometimes. Eddard Stark: Look at me. Get back to work, lad. If the day ever comes when that boy'd rather wield a sword than forge one, you send him to me. Jory Cassel: Find anything? Eddard Stark: King Robert's bastard son. Jory Cassel: This is for the King from Lord Stark. Jaime Lannister: Listen. Do you hear them? How many do you think are in there with him? Guess. Jory Cassel: Three? Four? Jaime Lannister: He likes to do this when I'm on duty... He makes me listen as he insults my sister. Jory Cassel: Forgive me, my Lord... Jaime Lannister: Why do I have to forgive you? Have you wronged me? Jory Cassel: We've met before, you know. Jaime Lannister: Have we? Strange, I've forgotten. Jory Cassel: The siege of Pyke. We fought side by side one afternoon. Jaime Lannister: That's where you got your scar? Jory Cassel: Aye. One of the Greyjoys nearly took my eye. Jaime Lannister: Vicious sons of whores. Jory Cassel: They like their bloodshed. Jaime Lannister: They stopped liking it at the end. That was a proper battle. D'you remember Thoros of Myr charging through the breach? Jory Cassel: With his burning sword? I'll remember that till the day I die. Jaime Lannister: I saw the youngest of the Greyjoy lads at Winterfell. It was like seeing a shark on a mountaintop. Jory Cassel: Theon? He's a good lad. Jaime Lannister: I doubt it. Robert Baratheon: I'll bet you smell of blackberry jam! Let me smell it. Come here. Jory Cassel: Can I leave this with you? The message from Lord Stark. Jaime Lannister: I don't serve Lord Stark. Grenn: Where have you been? Jon Snow: Watch duty. With Sam. Pyp: Prince Porkchop. Where is he? Jon Snow: He wasn't hungry. Pyp: Impossible! Jon Snow: That's enough. Sam's no different from the rest of us. There was no place for him in the world, so he's come here. We're not going to hurt him in the training yard anymore. Never again, no matter what Thorne says. He's our brother now and we're going to protect him. Rast: You are in love, Lord Snow. You girls can do as you please. But if Thorne puts me up against Lady Piggy, I'm gonna slice me off a side of bacon. Jon Snow: No one touches Sam. Alliser Thorne: What are you waiting for? attck him! You, get in there. Grenn: ht me. Go on, ht me! I yield! Yield yield. I yield. Alliser Thorne: You think this is funny, do you? When you're out there beyond the Wall with the sun going down, do you want a man at your back? Or a sniveling boy? Viserys Targaryen: You send this whore to give me commands? I should have sent you back her head! Doreah: Forgive me, Khaleesi. I did as you asked. Daenerys Targaryen: Hush now. It's all right. Irri, take her and leave us. Irri: Yes, Khaleesi. Daenerys Targaryen: Why did you ht her?! Viserys Targaryen: How many times do I have to tell you? You do not command me. Daenerys Targaryen: I wasn't commanding you. I just wanted to invite you to supper. Viserys Targaryen: What's this? Daenerys Targaryen: It's a gift. I had it made for you. Viserys Targaryen: Dothraki rags? Are you going to dress me now? Daenerys Targaryen: Please. Viserys Targaryen: This stinks of manure. All of it. Daenerys Targaryen: Stop - stop it. Viserys Targaryen: You would turn me into one of them, wouldn't you? Next you'll want to braid my hair. Daenerys Targaryen: You've no right to a braid. You've won no victories yet. Viserys Targaryen: You do not talk back to me! You are a horselord's slut. And now you've woken the dragon... Daenerys Targaryen: I am a Khaleesi of the Dothraki! I am the wife of the great Khal and I carry his son inside me. The next time you raise a hand to me will be the last time you have hands. Samwell Tarly: I know for a fact that some of the officers go to that brothel in Mole's Town. Jon Snow: I wouldn't doubt it. Samwell Tarly: Don't you think it's a little bit unfair? Making us take our vows while they sneak off for a little sally on the side? Jon Snow: Sally on the side? Samwell Tarly: It's silly, isn't it? What, we can't defend the Wall unless we're celibate? It's absurd. Jon Snow: I didn't think you'd be so upset about it. Samwell Tarly: Why not? Because I'm fat? But I like girls just as much as you do. They might not like me as much. I've never... been with one. You've probably had hundreds. Jon Snow: As a matter of fact, I'm the same as you. Samwell Tarly: I find that hard to believe. Jon Snow: I came very close once. I was alone in a room with a naked girl, but... Samwell Tarly: You didn't know where to put it? Jon Snow: I know where to put it. Samwell Tarly: Was she... Old and ugly? Jon Snow: Young and gorgeous. A whore named Ros. Samwell Tarly: What color hair? Jon Snow: Red. Samwell Tarly: I like red hair. And her... Her... Jon Snow: You don't want to know. Samwell Tarly: That good? Jon Snow: Better. Samwell Tarly: Oh no. So why exactly did you not make love to Ros with the perfect... Jon Snow: What's my name? Samwell Tarly: Jon Snow? Jon Snow: And why is my surname Snow? Samwell Tarly: Because... You're a bastard from the north. Jon Snow: I never met my mother. My father wouldn't even tell me her name. I don't know if she's living or dad. I don't know if she's a noblewoman or a fisherman's wife... Or a whore. So I sat there in the brothel as Ros took off her clothes. But I couldn't do it. Because all I could think was what if I got her pregnant and she had a child, another bastard named Snow? It's not a good life for a child. Samwell Tarly: So... You didn't know where to put it? Alliser Thorne: Enjoying yourselves? You look cold, boys. Samwell Tarly: It is a bit nippy. Alliser Thorne: A bit nippy, yeah, by the fre, indoors. It's still summer. Do you boys even remember the last winter? How long has it been now? What, 10 years? I remember. Was it uncomfortable at Winterfell? Were there days when you just couldn't get warm, never mind how many fires your servants built? Jon Snow: I build my own fires. Alliser Thorne: That's admirable. I spent six months out there, beyond the Wall during the last winter. It was supposed to be a two-week mission. We heard a rumor Mance Rayder was planning to attck Eastwatch. So we went out to look for some of his men... Capture them, gather some knowledge. The Wildlings who fight for Mance Rayder are hard men. Harder than you'll ever be. They know their country better than we do. They knew there was a storm coming in. So they hid in their caves and waited for it to pass. And we got caught in the open. Wind so strong it yanked 100-foot trees straight from the ground, roots and all. If you took your gloves off to find your cock to have a piss, you lost a finger to the frost. And all in darkness. You don't know cold. Neither of you do. The horses died first. We didn't have enough to feed them, to keep them warm. Eating the horses was easy. But later when we started to fall... That wasn't easy. We should have had a couple of boys like you along, shouldn't we? Soft, fat boys like you. We'd have lasted a fortnight on you and still had bones leftover for soup. Soon we'll have new recruits and you lot will be passed along to the Lord Commander for assignment and they will call you men of the Night's Watch, but you'd be fools to believe it. You're boys still. And come the winter you will die... Like flies. Daenerys Targaryen: I ht him. I ht the dragon. Jorah Mormont: Your brother Rhaegar was the last dragon. Viserys is less than the shadow of a snake. Daenerys Targaryen: He is still the true King. Jorah Mormont: The truth now: do you want to see your brother sitting on the Iron Throne? Daenerys Targaryen: No. But the common people are waiting for him. Illyrio said they're sewing dragon banners and praying for his return. Jorah Mormont: The common people pray for rain, health and a summer that never ends. They don't care what games the high Lords play. Daenerys Targaryen: What do you pray for, Ser Jorah? Jorah Mormont: Home. Daenerys Targaryen: I pray for home too. My brother will never take back the Seven Kingdoms. He couldn't lead an army even if my husband gave him one. He'll never take us home. Petyr Baelish: Lover's quarrel? Sansa Stark: I'm sorry. Do I...? Septa Mordane: Sansa dear, this is Lord Baelish. He's known... Petyr Baelish: An old friend of the family. I've known your mother a long long time. Arya Stark: Why do they call you Littlefinger? Sansa Stark: Arya! Septa Mordane: Don't be rude! Petyr Baelish: No, it's quite all right. When I was a child I was very small and I come from a little spit of land called The Fingers, so you see, it's an exceedingly clever nickname. Robert Baratheon: I've been sitting here for days! Start the damn joust before I piss myself! Sansa Stark: Gods, who is that? Petyr Baelish: Ser Gregor Clegane. They call him the Mountain. The Hound's older brother. Sansa Stark: And his opponent? Petyr Baelish: Ser Hugh of the Vale. He was Jon Arryn's squire. Look how far he's come. Robert Baratheon: Yes, yes. Enough of the bloody pomp. Have at it! Petyr Baelish: Not what you were expecting? Has anyone ever told you the story of the Mountain and the Hound? Lovely little tale of brotherly love. The Hound was just a pup, six years old maybe. Gregor a few years older, already a big lad, already getting a bit of a reputation. Some lucky boys just born with a talent for volence. One evening... Gregor found his little brother playing with a toy by the fre... Gregor's toy, a wooden knight. Gregor never said a word, he just grabbed his brother by the scruff of his neck and shoved his face into the burning coals. Held him there while the boy screamed, while his face melted. There aren't very many people who know that story. Sansa Stark: I won't tell anyone. I promise. Petyr Baelish: No, please don't. If the Hound so much as heard you mention it, I'm afraid all the knights in King's Landing would not be able to save you. Jory Cassel: My Lord, Her Grace the Queen. Eddard Stark: Your Grace. Cersei Baratheon: You're missing your tournament. Eddard Stark: Putting my name on it doesn't make it mine. Cersei Baratheon: I thought we might put what happened on the Kingsroad behind us – the ugliness with the wolves. And forcing you to kll the beast was extreme. Though sometimes we go to extremes where our children are concerned. How is Sansa? Eddard Stark: She likes it here. Cersei Baratheon: The only Stark who does. Favors her mother, not much of the north in her. Eddard Stark: What are you doing here? Cersei Baratheon: I might ask the same of you. What is it you hope to accomplish? Eddard Stark: The King called on me to serve him and the realm, and that's what I'll do until he tells me otherwise. Cersei Baratheon: You can't change him. You can't help him. He'll do what he wants, which is all he's ever done. You'll try your best to pick up the pieces. Eddard Stark: If that's my job, then so be it. Cersei Baratheon: You're just a soldier, aren't you? You take your orders and you carry on. I suppose it makes sense. Your older brother was trained to lead and you were trained to follow. Eddard Stark: I was also trained to kll my enemies, Your Grace. Cersei Baratheon: As was I. Marillion: Seven blessings to you, goodfolk! Catelyn Stark: And to you. Rodrick Cassel: Boy! Bread, meat and beer, quickly. Marillion: Good idea, grandfather. I'm starving. A song while we wait or? Rodrick Cassel: I'd rather throw myself down a well. Marillion: Grandfather, may be your last chance if you're heading north. The only music the northerners know is the howling of wolves! Masha Heddle: I'm sorry, my Lord, we're full up. Every room. Tyrion Lannister: My men can sleep in the sab. As for myself, I don't require a large room. Masha Heddle: Truly, my lord, we have nothing. Tyrion Lannister: Is there nothing I can do... to remedy this? Bronn: You can have my room. Tyrion Lannister: There's a clever man. You can manage food, I trust? Yoren, dine with me. Yoren: Aye, my Lord. Marillion: My Lord of Lannister! Might I entertain you while you eat? I can sing of your father's victory at King's Landing! Tyrion Lannister: Nothing would more likely ruin my supper. Lady Stark! What an unexpected pleasure. I was sorry to have missed you at Winterfell. Masha Heddle: Lady Stark. Catelyn Stark: I was still Catelyn Tully the last time I stayed here. You, Ser... Is that the black bat of Harrenhal I see embroidered on your coat? Knight of House Whent: It is, my Lady. Catelyn Stark: And is Lady Whent a true and honest friend to my father... Lord Hoster Tully of Riverrun? Knight of House Whent: She is. Catelyn Stark: The Red Stallion was always a welcome sight at Riverrun. My father counts Jonas Bracken amongst his oldest and most loyal bannermen. Knight of House Bracken: Our lord is honored by his trust. Tyrion Lannister: I envy your father all his fine friends... but I don't quite see the purpose of this. Catelyn Stark: I know your sigil as well... The twin towers of Frey. How fares your Lord, Ser? Knight of House Frey: Lord Walder is well, my Lady. He has asked your father for the honor of his presence on his 90th nameday. He plans to take another wife. Catelyn Stark: This man... came into my house as a guest and there conspired to mrder my son, a boy of 10. In the name of King Robert and the good Lords you serve, I call upon you to seize him and help me return him to Winterfell to await the King's justice.	{"type": "series", "show": "Game of Thrones", "episode": "01x04 - Cripples Bastards and Broken Things"}	foreverdreaming
In this episode: Catelyn has captured Tyrion and plans to bring him to her sister, Lysa Arryn, at The Vale, to be tried for his, supposed, crimes against Bran. Robert plans to have Daenerys klled, but Eddard refuses to be a part of it and quits. [King's Landing - Ned Stark crosses the stone bridge to the Tourney of the Hand's grounds. He passes workers as they prepare for the day's games and enters the fallen Ser Hugh's tent where he joins Barristan Selmy watching over the dad knight's burial preparations.] NED: Does Ser Hugh have any family in the capital? BARRISTAN: No. I stood vigil for him myself last night. He had no one else. NED: He'd never worn this armor before. BARRISTAN: Bad luck for him ... going against the Mountain. NED: Who determines the draw? BARRISTAN: All the knights draw straws, Lord Stark. NED: Aye ... but who holds the straws? (addressing the body's attendants) You've done good work, sisters. [Both Ned and Barristan exit the tent and walk along the other tents as they talk.] BARRISTAN: Life is strange. Not so many years ago we fought as enemies at the Trident. NED: I'm glad we never met on the field, Ser Barristan ... as is my wife. I don't think the widow's life would suit her. BARRISTAN: (chuckles) You're too modest. I've seen you cut down a dozen great knights. NED: My father once told me you were the best he'd ever seen. I never knew the man to be wrong about matters of combat. BARRISTAN: He was a fine man, your father. What the Mad King did to him was a terrible crime. NED: (pointing back to Ser Hugh's tent) And that lad ... he was a squire until a few months ago. How could he afford a new suit of armor? BARRISTAN: Perhaps Lord Arryn left him some money? I hear the King wants to joust today. NED: Yes. That will never happen. BARRISTAN: (chuckles) Robert tends to do what he wants. NED: If the King got what he wanted all the time, we'd still be fighting a damned rebellion. [Ned leaves Barristan's side and enters King Robert Baratheon's tent. Inside, Lancel Lannister is attempting to dress King Robert in his armament.] LANCEL: It's made too small, Your Grace. It won't go. KING ROBERT: Your mother was a dumb whore with a fat ass. Did you know that? (addressing Ned) Look at this idiot! One ball and no brains. He can't even put a man's armor on him properly. NED: You're too fat for your armor. KING ROBERT: Fat? Fat, is it? Is that how you speak to your King? (King Robert and Ned Laugh. King Robert turns to Lancel who is grinning.)That was funny, is it? LANCEL: No, Your Grace. KING ROBERT: No? You don't like the Hand's joke? NED: You're torturing the poor boy. KING ROBERT: You heard the Hand. The King's too fat for his armor! Go find the breastplate stretcher -- now! NED: the breastplate stretcher? [Ned leaves] KING ROBERT: How long before he figures it out? NED: Maybe you should have one invented. KING ROBERT: All right, all right. But you watch me out there. I still know how to point a lance. NED: You have no business jousting. Leave that for the young men. KING ROBERT: Why? Because I'm king? Piss on that. I want to ht somebody! NED: And who's going to ht you back? KING ROBERT: Anybody who can. And the last man in his saddle ... will be you! NED: There's not a man in the Seven Kingdoms would risk hurting you. KING ROBERT: Are you telling me those cowards would let me win? NED: Aye. KING ROBERT: (pours Ned a drink and offers it to him) Drink. NED: I'm not thirsty. KING ROBERT: Drink. Your King commands it. Gods! Too fat for my armor. NED: Your squire ... a Lannister boy? KING ROBERT: hmm ... a bloody idiot ... but Cersei insisted. I have Jon Arryn to thank for her. "Cersei Lannister will make a good match", he told me. "You'll need her father on your side." I thought being King meant I could do whatever I wanted. Enough of this! Let's go watch 'em ride. At least I can smell someone else's blood. (The king rises and starts to leave the tent.) NED: Robert? KING ROBERT: What? (Looking down, King Robert sees his naked fat belly protruding from his jacket) (laughing) Oh! An inspiring sight for the people, eh? Come! Bow before your King! Bow, you shits! [Cheering crowds line both sides of the jousting track as Ser Gregor Clegane (The Mountain) rides down the lane, stops in front of the King's stand, opens his helmet and bows. A tier down from the King's left, Ned is seated next to his daughter, Sansa Stark. Littlefinger (Petyr Baelish) sits directly behind them.] NED: Where's Arya SANSA: At her dancing lessons. (Sansa looks up the jousting track.) The Knight of the Flowers. (aka Ser Loras Tyrell, who rides up to Sansa and hands her a rose.) SANSA: Thank you, Ser Loras. [After nodding toward Sansa, Loras exchanges a secretive look with the King's brother, Renly Baratheon, who is seated higher up. Then he rides over and joins his opponent, Gregor in front of the King's stand. Gregor's horse becomes skittish and both men ride off in opposite directions toward the ends of the jousting track.] SANSA: (grabbing her father's arm) Don't let Ser Gregor hurt him. NED: Hey. SANSA: I can't watch. LITTLEFINGER: (turned around and speaking to Renly) 100 gold dragons on the Mountain. RENLY: I'll take that bet. LITTLEFINGER: Now what will I buy with 100 gold dragons? A dozen barrels of Dornish wine? Or a girl from the pleasure houses of Lys? RENLY: Or you could even buy a friend. SANSA: (to Ned) He's going to die. NED: Ser Loras rides well. [The trumpet sounds and both jousters ride toward one another. Loras' lance breaks upon Gregor's shield and knocks Gregor down to the ground. Renly jumps up laughing and clapping.] RENLY: Such a shame, Littlefinger. It would have been so nice for you to have a friend. LITTLEFINGER: And tell me, Lord Renly, when will you be having your friend? (indicating Loras) LITTLEFINGER: (now seated, leans forward, speaking to Ned) Loras knew his mare was in heat. Quite crafty, really. SANSA: Ser Loras would never do that! There's no honor in tricks. LITTLEFINGER: No honor but quite a bit of gold. [Gregor rises from the ground, rips off his helmet and shouts for his sword. Gregor grabs the sword from his squire and with one mighty stroke, severs his horse's head. Shocked, the crowd grows quiet. Then Gregor storms over to Loras, knocks him off of his horse and strikes with his sword. Loras' shield protects him from the blows. Sandor Clegane (The Hound) roars, "Leave him be!" Drawing his own sword, The Hound jumps down from the King's stand and engages his brother, Gregor in a sword fight.] KING ROBERT: (rising, shouts) Stop this madness in the name of your King! [The Hound drops to his knee and bows his head, while Gregor's blade slices the air where The Hound's head was just seconds ago. Gregor throws down his sword and stomps off through the crowd. Loras approaches Sandor the Hound.] LORAS: I owe you my life, Ser. SANDOR: I'm no Ser. [Loras grabs Sandor's left hand with his right and raises both in the air to the cheers of a standing ovation.] [Catelyn Stark, her men and her prisoner, Tyrion Lannister, take a rest stop along the way to The Vale. One of Stark's men roughly pulls a hooded and tied, Tyrion Lannister from his horse.] CATELYN: Remove his hood. [Stark's man yanks the hood off of Tyrion and pushes him along while, Marillion, a troubadour from The Riverlands, strums his flute and sings until Tyrion comes face-to-face with Catelyn.] MARILLION: (singing) On that eve, the cptive Imp down-wards from his horse did limp, no more would he preen and primp, in garb of red and gold. TYRION: This isn't the Kings Road. You said we were riding for Winterfell. CATELYN: I did ... often and loudly. TYRION: Very wise. (Tyrion begins turning in circles, making sure to make eye contact as he speaks.) They'll be out in droves, looking for me in the wrong place. Word's probably gotten to my father by now. He'll be offering a handsome reward. Everyone knows a Lannister always pays his debts. Would you be so good as to untie me? CATELYN: And why would I do that? TYRION: Why not? Am I going to run? The hill tribes would kll me for my boots. Unless a Shadowcat ate me first. CATELYN: Shadowcats and hill tribes are the least of your concerns. TYRION: Ah ... the Eastern Road. We're going to The Vale. You're taking me to your sister's to answer for my imagined crimes. Tell me, Lady Stark. When was the last time you saw your sister? CATELYN: Five years ago. TYRION: She's changed. She was always a bit touched, but now ... you might as well kll me here. CATELYN: I am not a mrder, Lannister. TYRION: Neither am I! I had nothing to do with the attempt on your son's life! CATELYN: The dagger found TYRION: What sort of imbecile arms an assassin with his own blade? RODRIK: Should I gag him? TYRION: Why? Am I starting to make sense? [Suddenly, a sht rings out and one of Stark's men falls to the ground. Men, brandishes axes, swords and slinging rocks, swoop in on them from all sides. Rodrik grabs Catelyn and guides her to a safer spot.] RODRIK: My Lady, this way. [Tyrion watches the small intense battle as throats are slit and heads bashed in. He sees Catelyn pull out a small dagger and rushes over to her.] TYRION: Untie me. If I die, what's the point? [Catelyn cuts Tyrion's bonds. He looks around and makes a dash for a shield. Tyrion grabs the shield and holds it up just in time to avoid a well-aimed rock. He looks back toward Catelyn and sees she's under attck. One of her men rushes to save her, but he is felled by the attacker. Tyrion runs over and batters the attacker with the shield. Once the attacker is down, Tyrion repeatedly drives the shield's edge into the man's face and neck, klling him and saving Catelyn. The fight ends; many are dad. Catelyn stumbles over to Winterfell's Master-at-Arms.] CATELYN: Rodrik? RODRIK: I'll be fine, My Lady. There's no need to bloody yourself. [Bronn sheaths his sword and walks over to Tyrion.] BRONN: Your first? (Tyrion nods.) You need a woman. Nothing like a woman after a fight. TYRION: (looking at Catelyn) Well, I'm willing if she is. [Winterfell - Theon Greyjoy is practicing his archery skills. Bran Stark and Maester Luwin are seated at a table behind Theon. Bran is supposed to be studying but he can't keep his eyes off Theon's target practice.] LUWIN: Bran ... (Maester Luwin taps a pointer on a map of Westeros.) BRAN: The Iron Islands. Sigil -- a Kraken. Words -- "We do not sow". LUWIN: Lords? BRAN: The Greyjoys. THEON: (turns to face Bran) Famed for their skills at archery, navigation and lovemaking. LUWIN: And failed rebellions. (Maester Luwin taps again.) BRAN: Sigil -- a stag. -- a crowned stag now that Robert's King. LUWIN: Good. BRAN: Words -- "Ours is the fury". Lords -- the Baratheons. LUWIN: mm - hmm. BRAN: The Westerlands -- sigil -- a lion. LUWIN: hmm .. BRAN: Words -- "A Lannister always pays his debts." LUWIN: No. A common saying, but not their official motto. BRAN: Lords -- the Lannisters. LUWIN: We're still on their words. BRAN: I don't know them. LUWIN: You do know them. Think. BRAN: "Unbowed, unbent, unbroken". LUWIN: That's House Martell. BRAN: "Righteous in wrath". LUWIN: House Hornwood. BRAN: "Family, duty, honor". LUWIN: Those are Tully words ... your mother's. Are we playing a game? BRAN: "Family, duty, honor" ... is that the right order? LUWIN: You know it is. BRAN: Family comes first? LUWIN: Your mother had to leave Winterfell to protect the family. BRAN: How can she protect the family, if she's not with her family? LUWIN: Your mother sat by your bed for three weeks while you slept. BRAN: And then she left! LUWIN: When you were born, I was the one who pulled you from your mother. I placed you in her arms. From that moment until the moment she dies, she will love you. Absolutely. Fiercely. BRAN: Why did she leave? LUWIN: I still can't tell you, but she will be home soon. BRAN: Do you know where she is now? Today? LUWIN: No, I don't. BRAN: Then how can you promise me she'll be home soon? LUWIN: Sometimes I worry you're too smart for your own good. BRAN: I'll never sht another arrow. LUWIN: And where is that written? BRAN: You need legs to work a bow. LUWIN: hmm ... If the saddle Lord Tyrion designed actually works, you could learn to sht a bow from horseback. BRAN: Really? LUWIN: Dothraki boys learn when they're four years old. Why shouldn't you? [Winterfell - Theon Greyjoy's quarters. Theon and Ros (Theon's favorite local whore) are at the end of having sex.] THEON: Shh ... Keep it down. You're not supposed to be inside the castle walls. [Theon moves away and Ros walks over a dresser and sits in front of the mirror.] ROS: I thought you were supposed to be an important person around here. THEON: Important enough for the likes of you. ROS: You're not the only nobleman in my life, you know. THEON: Who? the Imp? I'd call him half a nobleman. ROS: Jealous? THEON: Why should I be jealous? [Theon walks over and stands directly behind Ros.] THEON: Anyone with a few coppers in his pocket can own you for the night. What's a dwarf like down below? I've always wondered. ROS: Might surprise you. THEON: hmm? ROS: He's good with his fingers too. And his tongue. THEON: (grabs the necklace around Ros's neck) Generous tipper. I guess gold is cheap for a Lannister. ROS: You are jealous. THEON: I'm a Greyjoy. We've been Lords of the Iron Islands for 300 years. There's not a family in Westeros that can look down on us, not even the Lannisters. [King's Landing -- Arya Stark chases a cat along the castle hallways.] ARYA: Come on. I'm not gonna hurt you. [King's Landing -- Chambers of the Hand of the King -- Ned Stark is seated at his desk and listens to Lord Varys as he walks around securing the windows and doors before sitting down for a private conversation.] VAYRS: How is your son, My Lord? NED: He'll never walk again. VAYRS: But his mind is sound? NED: So they say. VAYRS: A blessing then. I suffered an early mutilation myself. Some doors close forever ... others open in the most unexpected places. May I? (Varys indicates a chair and with a nod from Ned, sits down.) VAYRS: If the wrong ears heard what I'm about to tell you, off comes my head. And who would mourn poor Varys then? North or South, they sing no songs for spiders. But there are things you must know. You are the King's Hand and the King is a fool ... your friend, I know, but a fool ... and doomed unless you save him. NED: I've been in the capital a month. Why have you waited so long to tell me this? VAYRS: I didn't trust you. NED: So why do you trust me now? VAYRS: The Queen is not the only one who has been watching you closely. There are few men of honor in the capital. You are one of them. I would like to believe I am another, strange as that may seem. NED: What sort of doom does the King face? VAYRS: The same sort as Jon Arryn. The tears of Lys, they call it. A rare and costly thing, as clear and tasteless as water. It leaves no trace. [Ned quickly rises, turns his back to Varys and walks over to the open-air entrance to the balcony.] NED: Who gave it to him? VAYRS: Some dear friend, no doubt. But which one? There were many. Lord Arryn was a kind and trusting man. There was one boy ... all he was he owed to Jon Arryn. NED: (turning to look at Vayrs) The squire, Ser Hugh? VAYRS: Pity what happened to him, just when his life seemed to be going so nicely. NED: If Ser Hugh poisoned him, who paid Ser Hugh? VAYRS: Someone who could afford it. [Ned walks back to his desk and places his hands on the chair back.] NED: Jon was a man of peace. He was Hand for 17 years -- 17 good years. Why kll him? VAYRS: He started asking questions. [King's Landing -- Arya Stark chases the cat through the dungeons of the Red Keep. She stops suddenly and stares at a statue of a huge dragon's skull. As she explores, she hears two men approach. Quickly, she hides within the dragon's open jaws and listens. The men are Lord Varys and Magister Illyrio Mopatis.] VAYRS: He's found one bastard already. He has the book. The rest will come. ILLYRIO: And when he knows the truth, what will he do? VAYRS: The gods alone know. The fools tried to kll his son. What's worse -- they botched it. (Varys closes and locks the corridor gate.) The wolf and the lion will be at each other's throats. We will be at wr soon, my friend. ILLYRIO: What good is wr now? We're not ready. If one Hand can die, why not a second? VAYRS: This Hand is not the other. ILLYRIO: We need time. Khal Drogo will not make his move until his son is born. You know how these savages are. VAYRS: "Delay," you say. "Move fast, " I reply. This is no longer a game for two players. ILLYRIO: It never was. [Arya watches as the men leave. She emerges from the dragon's jaws and runs to the gate, only to find it locked. She runs off in another direction.] [King's Landing -- The Throne Room -- Littlefinger stands staring up at the Iron Throne when Lord Varys enters the room.] VAYRS: The first to arrive and the last to leave. I admire your industry. LITTLEFINGER: You do move quietly. VAYRS: We all have our qualities. LITTLEFINGER: You look a bit lonely today. You should pay a visit to my brothel this evening. First boy is on the house. VAYRS: I think you're mistaking business with pleasure. LITTLEFINGER: Am I? All those birds that whisper in your ear ... such pretty little things. Trust me, we accommodate all inclinations. VAYRS: Oh, I'm sure. Lord Redwyne likes his boys very young, I hear. LITTLEFINGER: I'm a purveyor of beauty and discretion -- both equally important. VAYRS: Though I suppose beauty is a subjective quality, no? Is it true that Ser Marlon of Tumblestone prefers amputees? LITTLEFINGER: All desires are valid to a man with a full purse. VAYRS: And I heard the most awful rumor about a certain lord with a taste for fresh cadavers. Must be enormously difficult to accommodate that inclination. The logistics alone ... to find beautiful corpses before they rot. LITTLEFINGER: Strictly speaking, such a thing would not be in accordance with the King's laws. VAYRS: Strictly speaking. LITTLEFINGER: Tell me. Does someone, somewhere, keep your balls in a little box? I've often wondered. VAYRS: Do you know, I have no idea where they are? And we had been so close. But enough about me. How have you been since we last saw each other? LITTLEFINGER: Since you last saw me or since I last saw you? VAYRS: Now the last time I saw you, you were talking to the Hand of the King. LITTLEFINGER: Saw me with your own eyes? VAYRS: Eyes I own. LITTLEFINGER: Council business. We all have so much to discuss with Ned Stark. VAYRS: Everyone's well aware of your enduring fondness for Lord Stark's wife. If the Lannisters were behind the attempt on the Stark boy's life and it was discovered that you helped the Starks come to that conclusion ... To think a simple word to the Queen ... LITTLEFINGER: One shudders at the thought. VAYRS: Ooh. (shudders) LITTLEFINGER: But you know something? I do believe that I have seen you even more recently than you have seen me. VAYRS: Have you? LITTLEFINGER: Yes. Earlier today, I distinctly recall seeing you talking to Lord Stark in his chambers. VAYRS: Was that you under the bed? LITTLEFINGER: And not long after that when I saw you escorting a certain foreign dignitary ... Council business? Of course you would have friends from across The Narrow Sea. You're from there yourself, after all. We're friends, aren't we, Lord Varys? I'd like to think we are. So you can imagine my burden, wondering if the King might question my friend's sympathies -- to stand at a crossroads where turning left means loyalty to a friend, turning right -- loyalty to the realm. VAYRS: Oh, please. LITTLEFINGER: To find myself in a position where a simple word to the King -- [Renly Baratheon, brother to King Robert, barges into the throne room, and speaks as he cuts across the room to another doorway on the other side.] RENLY: What are you two conspiring about? Well, whatever it is, you'd best hurry up. My brother is coming. (exits) LITTLEFINGER: To a small council meeting? VAYRS: Disturbing news from far away. Haven't you heard? [King's Landing --Arya emerges from a tunnel outside the castle walls. She makes her way to the entrance of the castle, but is stopped by two guards.] GUARD1: Off with you. No begging. ARYA: I'm not a beggar. I live here. GUARD1: D'you want a smack on your ear to help you with your hearing? ARYA: I want to see my father. GUARD2: I want to fck the Queen, for all the good it does me. GUARD1: You want your father, boy? He's lying on the floor of some tavern, getting pissed on by his friends. ARYA: My father is Hand of the King! I'm not a boy. I'm Arya Stark of Winterfell and if you lay a hand on me, my father will have both your heads on spikes! Now are you going to let me by or do I need to smack you on the ear to help with your hearing? [King's Landing -- Hand of the King (Ned Stark) Chambers] NED: You know I had half my guard out searching for you? You promised me this would stop. ARYA: They said they were going to kll you. NED: Who did? ARYA: I didn't see them, but I think one was fat. NED: Oh, Arya. ARYA: I'm not lying! They said you found the bastard and the wolves are fighting the lions and the savage ... something about the savage. NED: Where did you hear this? ARYA: In the dungeons, near the dragon skulls. NED: What were you doing in the dungeons? ARYA: Chasing a cat. JORY: (guard knocks, then enters) Pardon, My Lord. There's a Night's Watchman here begging a word. He says it's urgent. (Ned nods, the visitor enters.) NED: Your name, friend? YOREN: Yoren, if it please. This must be your son. He has the look. ARYA: I'm a girl! NED: Did Benjen send you? YOREN: No one sent me, My Lord. I'm here to find men for The Wall, see if there's any scum in the dungeons that might be fit for service. NED: Ah, we'll find recruits for you. YOREN: Thank you, My Lord. But that's not why I disturb you now. Your brother, Benjen ... his blood runs black -- makes him as much my brother as yours. It's for his sake I rode here so hard I damn near klled my horse! There are others riding too. The whole city will know by tomorrow. NED: Know what? YOREN: Best said in private, My Lord. NED: (kisses Arya on the head) Go on. We'll talk more later. NED: Jory, take her safely to her room. JORY: Come along, My Lady. You heard your father. [Jory and Arya exit the chambers and walk down the hall] ARYA: How many guards does my father have? JORY: Here in King's Landing? Fifty. ARYA: You wouldn't let anyone kll him, would you? JORY: No fear on that count, little Lady. [The Hand of the King's Chambers with door closed.] NED: Well? YOREN: It's about your wife, My Lord. She's taken the Imp. [The Vale -- A short distance from The Eyrie, Catelyn Stark's party is met by a group of armed guards from The Vale.] VARDIS: You're far from home, Lady Stark. CATELYN: To whom do I speak? VARDIS: Ser Vardis Egan, Knight of The Vale. Is Lady Arryn expecting your visit? CATELYN: There was no time to send word. VARDIS: May I ask, My Lady, why he is with you? CATELYN: That's why there was no time. He is my prisoner. VARDIS: He doesn't look like a prisoner. CATELYN: My sister will decide what he looks like. VARDIS: Yes, My Lady. She will at that. [The Eyrie guards turn and head back to the castle. Catelyn Stark's party follows their escorts.] TYRION: The Eyrie. They say it's impregnable. BRONN: Give me 10 good men and some climbing spikes ... I'll impregnate the bitch. TYRION: I like you. [King's Landing -- Castle Courtyard -- The Royal Steward hails Ned Stark as he strides purposefully along a walk.] STEWARD: Lord Stark, your presence has been requested in the small council chamber. A meeting has been called. NED: I need to see the King first -- alone. STEWARD: The King is at the small council meeting, My Lord. He has summoned you. NED: Is it about my wife? STEWARD: No, My Lord. I believe it concerns Daenerys Targaryen. [King's Landing -- The Small Council Chamber -- present are: Ned Stark (who is standing and facing the others seated at the table), King Robert Baratheon, Renly Baratheon, Littlefinger, Lord Varys, Grand Maester Pycelle.] KING ROBERT: The whore is pregnant. NED: You're speaking of mrder a child. KING ROBERT: I warned you this would happen. Back in the North, I warned you, but you didn't care to hear. Well, hear it now. I want 'em dad, mother and child both -- and that fool, Viserys as well. Is that plain enough for you? I want them both dad. NED: you will dishonor yourself forever if you do this. KING ROBERT: Honor?! I've got Seven Kingdoms to rule! One King, Seven Kingdoms. Do you think honor keeps them in line? Do you think it's honor that's keeping the peace? It's fear -- fear and blood. NED: Then we're no better than the Mad King. KING ROBERT: Careful, Ned. Careful now. NED: You want to assassinate a girl ... because the Spider heard a rumor? VARYS: No rumor, My Lord. The princess is with child. NED: Based on whose information? VARYS: Ser Jorah Mormont. He is serving as adviser to the Targaryens. NED: Mormont? You bring us the whispers of a traitor half a world away and call it fact? LITTLEFINGER: Jorah Mormont's a slaver, not a traitor. Small difference, I know, to an honorable man. NED: He broke the law, betrayed his family, fled our land. We commit mrder on the word of this man? KING ROBERT: And if he's right? If she has a son? A Targaryen at the head of a Dothraki army ...What then? NED: The Narrow Sea still lies between us. I'll fear the Dothraki the day they teach their horses to run on water. KING ROBERT: Do nothing? That's your wise advice? Do nothing till our enemies are on our shores? You're my council. Counsel! Speak sense to this honorable fool. VARYS: I understand your misgivings, My Lord. Truly, I do. It is a terrible thing we must consider, a vile thing. Yet, we who presume to rule must sometimes do vile things for the good of the realm. Should the gods grant Daenerys a son, the realm will bleed. PYCELLE: I bear this girl no ill will, but should the Dothraki invde, how many innocents will die? How many towns will burn? Is it not wiser, kinder even, that she should die now so that tens of thousands might live? RENLY: We should have had them both klled years ago. LITTLEFINGER: When you find yourself in bed with an ugly woman, best close your eyes, get it over with. Cut her throat. Be done with it. NED: I followed you into wr -- twice -- without doubts, without second thoughts. But I will not follow you now. The Robert I grew up with didn't tremble at the shadow of an unborn child. KING ROBERT: She dies. NED: I will have no part in it. KING ROBERT: You're the King's Hand, Lord Stark. You'll do as I command or I'll find me a hand who will. [Ned removes the pin signifying his position as Hand of the King and tosses it onto the table in front of King Robert.] NED: And good luck to him. I thought you were a better man. KING ROBERT: Out! Out, damn you! I'm done with you. (Ned gives King Robert a slight nod, then turns and leaves.) Go! Run back to Winterfell! I'll have your head on a spike! I'll put it there myself, you fool! You think you're too good for this? Too proud and honorable? This is a wr! [King's Landing -- Ned Stark's chambers. Ned is quickly packing his belongings when Jory enters his room.] NED: I'll go ahead with my daughters. Get them ready. Do it yourself. Don't ask anyone for help. JORY: Right away, My Lord. Lord Baelish (Littlefinger) is here for you. LITTLEFINGER: His Grace went on about you at some length after you took your leave. The word "treason" was mentioned. NED: What can I do for you? LITTLEFINGER: When do you return to Winterfell? NED: Why? What do you care? LITTLEFINGER: If you're still here come nightfall, I'll take you to see the last person Jon Arryn spoke with before falling ill. If that sort of thing still interests you. NED: I don't have the time. LITTLEFINGER: It won't take more than an hour. But as you please. [Littlefinger turns and walks out into the hall, but he doesn't get very far before Ned grabs his sword and gives Jory some last orders before joining him.] NED: Round up all the men we have and station them outside the girls' chambers. Who are your best two swords? JORY: Heward and Wyl. NED: Find them and meet me at the sab. [The Eyrie -- The Throne Room -- Lysa Arryn, Catelyn's sister and widow to Jon Arryn, sits high upon her throne. Her son 7 year old son, Robin, still breast feeding, sits on her lap. Catelyn Stark, Tyrion Lannister, Ser Vardis Egan of the Vale and several guards stand in the hall, looking up at Lysa.] LYSA: You bring him here without permission? You pollute my home with his presence? (To Robin) Your aunt has done a bad thing, Robin, a very bad thing. You remember her, don't you? (to Catelyn) Isn't he beautiful? And strong too. Jon knew it. His last words were, "the seed is strong." He wanted everyone to know what a good, strong boy his son would grow up to be. Look at him, the Lord of all the Vale. CATELYN: Lysa, you wrote me about the Lannisters -- warning me t- LYSA: To stay away from them! Not to bring one here! ROBIN: Mommy? Is that the bad man? LYSA: It tis. ROBIN: He's little. LYSA: He's Tyrion the Imp of house Lannister. He klled your father. He mrder the Hand of the King! TYRION: Oh? Did I kll him too? I've been a very busy man. LYSA: You will watch your tongue! These men are knights of the Vale. Every one of the loved John Arryn. Every one of them would die for me. TYRION: If any harm comes to me, my brother, Jaime, will see that they do. ROBIN: (jumping up and shouting) You can't hurt us! No one can hurt us here! Tell him, mommy! Tell him! LYSA: Shh ... Shh ... Shh, my sweet boy. (Robin sits back down on his mother's lap.) He's just trying to frighten us. Lannisters are all liars. No one will hurt my baby. ROBIN: Mommy ... I want to see the bad man fly. LYSA: Perhaps you will, my little love. CATELYN: This man is my prisoner. I will not have him harmed. LYSA: Ser Vardis, my sister's guest is weary. Take him down below so he can rest. Introduce him to Mord. ["Down below", Mord throws Tyrion into his cell] MORD: (laughing) You go sleep, dwarf man. Sleep good, little dwarf. man! [Tyrion surveys his three-walled cell. Open sky greets him where the fourth wall should be. The floor slants toward the opening. Tyrion carefully walks over to the edge and looks down at the ground -- far -- far -- far below.] [King's Landing -- Renly Baratheon's Chambers. Renly is seated in a chair and Ser Loras Tyrell (Knight of the Flowers) is kneeling beside him, preparing to shave Renly's chest.] LORAS: Lord Stark's lucky he still has a head. RENLY: Robert will rant for a few days, but he won't do anything. He adores the man. LORAS: You're jealous. RENLY: Are you sure this won't hurt? LORAS: Only if I slip. RENLY: And you prefer me like this? LORAS: hm - mmm... RENLY: If you want hairless, maybe you should find a little boy. LORAS: I want you. RENLY: My brother thinks that anyone who hasn't been to wr isn't a man. He treats me as if I'm a spoiled child. Oh, and you're not? Loras Tyrell, the Knight of the Flowers? How many wars have you fought in? Oh, and how much did your father spend on that armor of yours? LORAS: Hold still. RENLY: All I ever hear from Robert and Stannis is how I'm not tough enough, how I squirm at the sight of blood. LORAS: You did vomit when that boy's eye was knocked out in the mêlée. RENLY: His eye was dangling out of the damn socket! LORAS: He shouldn't have entered the mêlée if he didn't know how to fight. RENLY: Easy for you to say. Not everyone is such a gifted swordsman. LORAS: It's not a gift. No one gave it to me. I'm good because I work at it -- every day of my life since I could hold a stick. RENLY: I could work at fighting all day, every day, and still never be as good as you. LORAS: Yes well, I guess we'll never know. [Loras wipes Renly's chest off and then raises Renly's arm to shave underneath it.] RENLY: Everywhere? LORAS: Everywhere. So how did it end up? The Targaryen girl will die? RENLY: It needs to be done, unpleasant as it is. Robert's rather tasteless about it. Every time he talks about klling her, I swear the table rises six inches. LORAS: It's a shame he can't muster the same enthusiasm for his wife. RENLY: He does have a deep, abiding lust for her money. You have to give it to the Lannisters -- they may be the most pompous, ponderous c*ts the gods ever suffered to walk the world, but they do have outrageous amounts of money. LORAS: I have an outrageous amount of money. RENLY: Not as much as the Lannisters. LORAS: But a lot more than you. RENLY: Robert's thrat to take me hunting with him. Last time we were out there for two weeks -- tramping through the trees in the rain, day after day. All so he can stick his spear into something's flesh! Oh. but Robert loves his klling. And he's the King. LORAS: hmm ... How did that ever happen? RENLY: Because he loves his klling and he used to be good at it. LORAS: Do you know who should be King? (Both men exchange looks.) RENLY: Be serious. LORAS: I am. My father could be your bank. I've never fought in a wr before, but I'd fight for you. RENLY: I'm fourth in line. LORAS: And where was Robert in the line of royal succession? Joffrey is a monster. Tommen is eight. RENLY: Stannis? LORAS: Stannis has the personality of a lobster. RENLY: He's still my older brother. [Loras slices a small cut in Renly's side.] RENLY: What are you doing?! LORAS: Look at it. RENLY: You cut me! LORAS: It's just blood. We've all got it in us. Sometimes a little spills. If you become King, you're going to see a lot of this. You need to get used to it. Go on. Look. People love you. They love to serve you because you're kind to them. They want to be near you. [Loras rises and taking Renly by the hand, has him stand up as well.] LORAS: You're willing to do what needs to be done, but you don't gloat over it. You don't love klling. Where is it written that power is the sole province of the worst? That thrones are only made for the hated and the feared. You would be a wonderful King. [Loras kneels down in front of Renly, unfastens Renly's pants and slides them down. After a moment, Renly smiles with pleasure.] [King's Landing -- King Robert's Chambers -- King Robert is seated at his desk, staring pensively at the drink in his hand when Cersei Baratheon enters.] CERSEI: I'm sorry your marriage to Ned Stark didn't work out. You seemed so good together. KING ROBERT: I'm glad I could do something to make you happy. CERSEI: Without a Hand, everything will fall to pieces. KING ROBERT: I suppose this is where you tell me to give the job to your brother Jaime. CERSEI: No. He's not serious enough. I'll say this for Ned Stark -- he's serious enough. Was it really worth it? Losing him this way? KING ROBERT: I don't know. But I do know this -- If the Targaryen girl convinces her horse-lord husband to invde and the Dothraki horde crosses The Narrow Sea ... we won't be able to stop them. CERSEI: The Dothraki don't sail. Every child knows that. They don't have discipline. They don't have armor. They don't have siege wapon. KING ROBERT: It's a neat little trick you do -- you move your lips and your father's voice comes out. CERSEI: Is my father wrong? KING ROBERT: Let's say Viserys Targaryen lands with forty thousand Dothraki screamers at his back. We hole up in our castles -- a wise move. Only a fool would meet the Dothraki in an open field. They leave us in our castles. They go from town to town, looting and burning, klling every man who can't hide behind a stone wall, stealing all our crops and livestock, enslaving all our women and children. How long do the people of the Seven Kingdoms stand behind their absentee King -- their cowardly King hiding behind high walls? When do the people decide that Viserys Targaryen is the rightful monarch after all. CERSEI: We still outnumber them. KING ROBERT: Which is the bigger number -- five or one? CERSEI: Five. KING ROBERT: (holds both hands up in illustration) Five ... one. One army, a real army, united behind one leader with one purpose. Our purpose died with the Mad King. Now we've got as many armies as there are men with gold in their purse. And everybody wants something different. Your father wants to own the world. Ned Stark wants to run away and bury his head in the snow. CERSEI: What do you want? KING ROBERT: We haven't had a real fight in nine years. Back-sab doesn't prepare you for a fight. And that's all the realm is now -- back-sab and scheming and arse-licking and money-grubbing. Sometimes I don't know what holds it together. CERSEI: Our marriage. [King Robert develops a hearty laugh as Cersei starts laughing as well.] KING ROBERT: Ah, so here we sit, seventeen years later, holding it all together. Don't you get tired? CERSEI: Every day. KING ROBERT: How long can hate hold a thing together? CERSEI: Well, seventeen years is quite a long time. KING ROBERT: Yes, it is. CERSEI: Yes, it tis. What was she like? KING ROBERT: You've never asked about her, not once. Why not? CERSEI: At first, just saying her name, even in private felt like I was breathing life back into her. I thought if I didn't talk about her, she'd just fade away for you. When I realized that wasn't going to happen, I refused to ask out of spite. I didn't want to give you the satisfaction of thinking I cared enough to ask. And eventually it became clear that my spite didn't mean anything to you, as far as I could tell, you actually enjoyed it. KING ROBERT: So why now? CERSEI: What harm could Lyanna Stark's ghost do to either of us that we haven't done to each other a hundred times over? KING ROBERT: You want to know the horrible truth? I can't even remember what she looked like. I only know she was the one thing I ever wanted ... Someone took her away from me, and Seven Kingdoms couldn't fill the hole she left behind. CERSEI: I felt something for you once, you know? KING ROBERT: I know. CERSEI: Even after we lost our first boy -- for quite a while, actually. Was it ever possible for us? Was there ever a time, ever a ... moment? KING ROBERT: No. Does that make you feel better or worse? CERSEI: It doesn't make me feel anything. [King's Landing -- Littlefinger's Brothel -- Ned Stark is in a room with Mhaegen, a prosttute and mother of King Robert's illegitimate daughter, who she is holding. In an adjoining room, separated by a curtain of metal hoops, Littlefinger reclines on a sofa between two of his whores. Jory Cassel, Captain of Winterfell's Guard, stands opposite the sofa, next to the curtained doorway.] MHAEGEN: She looks like him, don't she, My Lord? She has his nose, his black hair. NED: Aye. MHAEGEN: Tell him when you see him, My Lord. If it please you ... tell him how beautiful she is. NED: I will. MHAEGEN: And tell him I've been with no one else. I swear it, My Lord, by the old gods and new. I don't want no jewels or nothing, just him. The King was always good to me. NED: When Jon Arryn came to visit you, what did he want? MHAEGEN: He wasn't that sort of man, My Lord. He just wanted to know if the child was happy ... healthy. NED: She looks healthy enough to me. The girl shall want for nothing. [Ned leaves the room through the curtain and joins Littlefinger in the adjoining room.] LITTLEFINGER: Brothels make a much better investment than ship, I've found. Whores rarely sink. NED: What do you know of King Robert's bastards? LITTLEFINGER: Well, he has more than you, for a start. NED: How many? LITTLEFINGER: Does it matter? If you fck enough women, some of them will give you presents. NED: And Jon Arryn tracked them all down. Why? LITTLEFINGER: He was the King's Hand. Perhaps Robert wanted them looked after. He was overcome with fatherly love. NED: (preparing to take his leave - to Jory) Come. [Jory remains transfixed, staring at the whores on the couch as one of them bares her breasts.] NED: Jory! JORY: (startled out of his trance) My Lord. [Ned and Jory exit the brothel and are joined by a handful of the Stark guard. They are swiftly surrounded by Jaime Lannister's armed guard. Jaime Lannister rides up on horseback to the head of the guard and faces Ned Stark] JAIME: Such a small pack of wolves. JORY: Stay back, Ser! This is the Hand of the King! JAIME: Was! ... the Hand of the King. Now I'm not sure what he is ... Lord of somewhere very far away. LITTLEFINGER: (exiting the brothel) What's the meaning of this, Lannister? JAIME: Get back inside where it's safe. I'm looking for my brother. You remember my brother, don't you, Lord Stark? Blond hair, sharp tongue, short man. NED: I remember him well. JAIME: It seems he had some trouble on the road. You wouldn't know what happened to him, would you? NED: He was taken at my command to answer for his crimes. [Jaime draws his sword as his men start to move forward. They are stopped when Littlefinger steps up.] LITTLEFINGER: My Lords! I'll bring the City Watch! (exits) JAIME: Come, Stark. I'd rather you die sword in hand. JORY: If you thrat My Lord again -- JAIME: thrat? As in, "I'm going to open your Lord from balls to brains and see what Starks are made of"? NED: You kll me, your brother's a dad man. JAIME: You're right. (to his men) Take him alive! kll his men! [A short but fierce fight breaks out between the men. Outnumbered, Stark's men are felled one by one, ending with Jaime driving a dagger into Jory's eye. Ned Stark takes on Jaime while all remaining watch. Their sword fight is brought to an abrupt end when one of Jaime's guards spears the back of Ned's leg, bringing him to his knees. Angry, Jaime approaches the offending guard and knocks him out with one hard blow from the blunt end of his sword. Jaime mounts his horse and addresses Ned Stark.] JAIME: My brother, Lord Stark ... we want him back. [Jaime Lannister rides away as Ned Stark falls to his back on the ground.] [END]	{"type": "series", "show": "Game of Thrones", "episode": "01x05 - The Wolf and The Lion"}	foreverdreaming
Original Air Date on May 22, 2011 (Camera pans down to to show Ned Stark, sleeping. He opens his eyes. He's lying on a bed. He turns his head to see Cersei and Robert in front of him) Eddard Stark: Your pardon, your Grace. I would rise, but... Cersei Baratheon: Do you know what your wife has done? Eddard Stark: She did nothing I did not command. Robert Baratheon: Who'd have thought she had it in her? Cersei Baratheon: By what right dare you lay hands on my blood? Eddard Stark: I am the King's Hand, charged with keeping the peace... Cersei Baratheon: You were the King's Hand. You shall now be held accountable. Robert Baratheon: Will both of you shut your mouths?! Catelyn will release Tyrion and you'll make your peace with Jaime. Eddard Stark: He butchered my men... Cersei Baratheon: Lord Stark was returning drunk from a brothel when his men attcked Jaime. Robert Baratheon: Quiet, woman. Eddard Stark: Jaime has fled the city. Give me leave to bring him back to justice. (Robert stares at Ned) Cersei Baratheon: I took you for a King. Robert Baratheon: Hold your tongue. Cersei Baratheon: He's attcked one of my brothers and abducted the other. I should wear the armor and you the gown. (Robert slaps her) Cercei: I shall wear this like a badge of honor. Robert Baratheon: Wear it in silence or I'll honor you again. (Cersei looks at Ned, back at Robert, then leaves the room) Robert Baratheon: See what she does to me? (pours wine from a goblet into a cup) My loving wife. I should not have ht her.(sits down on the bed, facing away from Ned) . That was not... That was not Kingly. (drinks the wine) Eddard Stark: If we don't act, there will be a wr. Robert Baratheon: So tell your wife to return that little shit of an Imp to King's Landing. She's had her fun, now put an end to it. You hear me? Send a raven and put an end to it. Eddard Stark: And what about Jaime Lannister? (Robert grimaces) Eddard Stark: What about Jaime? Robert Baratheon: I'm half a Kingdom in debt to his bloody father! I don't know what happened between you and those yellow-haired shits. I don't want to know. This is what matters... I can't rule the Kingdoms if the Starks and the Lannisters are at each other's throats. So enough. Eddard Stark: As you command, your Grace. With your leave, I will return to Winterfell and set matters straight. Robert Baratheon: Piss on that. Send a raven. I want you to stay. I'm the King. I get what I want.... I never loved my brothers. A sad thing for a man to admit, but it's true. You were the brother I chose. (he looks back at Ned. He stands up) We'll talk when I return from the hunt.(he throws the 'hand's badge' at him) Eddard Stark: The hunt? (Robert starts walk towards the door) Robert Baratheon: klling things clears my head. (at the door) You'll have to sit on the throne while I'm away. You'll hate it more than I do. Eddard Stark: The Targaryen girl... Robert Baratheon: (opens the door) Seven hells! don't start with her again. The girl will die and I'll hear no more of it. Put on the badge. And if you ever take it off again, I swear to the Mother I'll pin the damned thing on Jaime Lannister. (exits. the door closes) (Ned picks up the badge the badge) [ A DRAGON EGG ] (The camera moves up to show Daenerys holding it, in a hut, sitting down. She stands up and walks towards a pot with rocks and fre burning beneath them. She places the egg on the rocks. She kneels down and stares at it. Irri enters the room holding a basket. She stands at the door and looks at Daenerys) Irri: Khaleesi? (Daenerys picks the egg up. Irri drops the basket and runs to her) Khaleesi! (she takes the egg from Daenerys and throws it to the floor. She turns Daenerys' hands to reveal her palms, unburnt. She looks at daenerys, unbelieving) (Daenerys turns Irri's hands to reveal her palms red) Daenerys Targaryen: You're hurt. [ WINTERFELL ] (A raven, sitting on wood, crows. The camera turns to Brandon Stark, aiming a bow at it. He lowers the bow and the raven flies away. He follows it. He follows the raven into a candle lit archway leading to the crypts. The raven lands on a wolf statue leading to the crypts and crows. He stares at it. It flies away, into the crypts. The scene changes to brans bedroom. The camera moves into bran, sleeping on the bed. The door opens. Bran wakes, and sits up to see Hodor , smiling, holding a saddle. Bran smiles as Hodor nods to the saddle.) (Woods: Bran is riding a horse) Brandon Stark: Woohoo! Robb Stark: Not too fast. Brandon Stark: Come on, Dancer. Theon Greyjoy: When are you gonna tell him? (Theon and Robb are sitting on a bench) (Bran rides Dancer round, circling them) Robb Stark: Not now. Theon Greyjoy: Blood for blood. Brandon Stark: Come on! (he keeps riding) Theon Greyjoy: You need to make the Lannisters pay for Jory and the others. Robb Stark: You're talking about wr. Bran: Woooohoo! Theon Greyjoy: I'm talking about justice. Robb Stark: Only the Lord of Winterfell can call in the bannermen and raise an army. Theon Greyjoy: A Lannister put his spear through your father's leg. The Kingslayer rides for Casterly Rock where no one can touch him... Bran:Woohoo! Robb Stark: You want me to march on Casterly Rock? Theon Greyjoy: You're not a boy anymore. They attcked your father. They've already started the wr. It's your duty to represent your House when your father can't. Bran: Come on, Dancer. Robb Stark: And it's not your duty, because it's not your House.(he looks around. he stands up) Where's Bran? Theon Greyjoy:(he stands up, looks around) I don't know. It's not my House. (walks away) (Away from Robb and Theon, Bran rides Dancer, slowly, deeper in the woods. He hears a sound and turns his head looking for what it is. A woman moves behind some shrubs, not far from him. He turns his head again, trying to spot something. She comes out from behind him, with three men. They aproach him.) Brandon Stark: Robb? (they encircle him) Osha: All alone in the deep, dark woods. (Bran looks around) Brandon Stark: I'm not alone. My brother is with me. Wildling 1: I don't see him. Got him hidden under your cloak? Osha: That's a pretty pin. Silver. (Bran holds the pin on his chest) Wildling 1: We'll take the pin and the horse. (he brushes the back of the horse's neck) Get down. Be quick about it. Brandon Stark: I can't. (he looks down at his legs) The saddle... the straps. (the second wildling moves Bran's cloak to reveal straps on his leg) Wildling 1:What's wrong with you? You some kind of cripple? Brandon Stark: I'm Brandon Stark of Winterfell! If you don't let me be, I'll have you all klled! ('The First' wildling draws a Knfe and starts cutting the straps) Wildling 2: Cut his little cock off and stuff it in his mouth. Osha: The boy's worth nothing dad. (The First keeps cutting the straps) Benjen Stark's own blood? Think, what Mance would give us. Wildling 1: (he stops cutting) Piss on Mance Rayder, and piss on the North. We're going as far South as South goes. There ain't no White Walkers down in Dorne. (Robert comes up behind them, holding a sword) Robb Stark: Drop the Knfe. Let him go and I'll let you live. Wildling 1: (spits at Robb's direction) (the second wildling runs towards him holding an ax. He swings at Robb from the side, who ducks, and drives it up from below, missing. He turns around, with the ax in the air, and drives it down to meet Robb's sword. Robb pivets his sword, pulling the wildling closer, Robb's sword taking the wilding ax with it, then swings his sword, driving it through the wildings throat, slitting it. Osha come up from behind and hits Robb's back with a broad stick. Robb turns, strikes the stick to the ground, causing her to slip, and pulls her to his side, holding her hair. A third wildling runs up to him with a sword. Robb strikes the blade away and shuves his sword through the wildling's stomoach. The First pulls Bran from the horse to the ground. He holds his Knfe to his throat.) Brandon Stark: Robb! Robb! Wildling 1: (he looks down at Bran) Shut up! (he looks up at Robb) Drop the blade! Brandon Stark: No, don't. Wildling 1: Do it. (Robb and The First stare at each other. Robb slowly places the blade on the ground) (THROBB) Wildling 1:(gasps) (an arrow has pierced his chest. He fall down to reveal theon holding an arrow behind him) (Theon Greyjoy comes up from behind. He draws another arrow, walking towards Robb, and points it at Osha) (Robb un-grips Osha's hair and goes to bran. Theon walks up to Osha and stops a foot away, with his arrow still pointing at her) Robb Stark: Are you all right? Brandon Stark: Yes. It doesn't hurt. Theon Greyjoy: Tough little lad. In the Iron Islands, you're not a man until you've klled your first enemy. Well done. Robb Stark: Have you lost your mind? What if you'd missed? Theon Greyjoy: He would have klled you and cut Bran's throat. Robb Stark: You don't have the right... Theon Greyjoy: To what, to save your brother's life? It was the only thing to do, so I did it. Robb Stark: What about her? Osha: Give me my life, my Lord, and I'm yours(she begs with her hands together) Robb Stark: We'll keep her alive. (she sighs a cry of joy) [ THE VALE OF ARRYN - SKY CELLS ] (Tyrion's backside. He awakens and turns, rolling down, towards the edge of the steep floor. he stops, looking down at the misty atmosphere below. he backs away and stands up, goes towards the door.) Tyrion Lannister: Mord! (he bangs at the door) Turnkey! Mord! (the sound of a key turning and a door opening. Then Tyrion's door opens. Mord comes in.) Mord: Dwarf man making noise! (he hits Tyrion, making him back away 'till his back is against the wall.) Tyrion Lannister: How would you like to be rich? Mord: (he hits tyrion again) Dwarf man still making noise. Tyrion Lannister: My family is rich. We have gold, lots of gold. I'm prepared to give you lots of gold in... (Mord searhes Tyrion's pockets) Mord: No gold! Tyrion Lannister: Well, I don't have it here. Mord: (he hits him again) No gold. fck off. (Mord walks away, out of the cell, closes then locks the door. Tyrion walks away from the wall and looks at the outside of the cell) [ KINGS LANDING - TRAINING ROOM ] (Syrio closes the door and turns, with two wooden swords in hand, to walk up to Arya. He throws one at Arya, who catches it, and makes a dancing stance, a foot away from her) Arya Stark: I don't want to practice today. Syrio Forel: (gets out of the stance) No? Arya Stark: They klled Jory. My father is hurt. I don't care about stupid wooden swords. Syrio Forel: (he walks towards her) You are troubled. Arya Stark: Yes. Syrio Forel: (he rattles his sword close to her face) Good! Trouble is the perfect time for training. When you are dancing in the meadow with your dolls and kittens, this is not when fighting happens. Arya Stark: I don't like dolls and k...(he swipes her arm with his sword) Syrio Forel: You're not here. You're with your trouble. If you are with your trouble when fighting happens... (he steps back as she advances. She parries, then he turns, around her sword, to be right in front of her, causing her to fall) Syrio: More trouble for you. Just so. How can you be quick as a snake... (they fight, as she stands up) Or as quiet as a shadow... (their swords meet again. Syrio disarms her by taking her sword with his hand and quickly turns to place his, and her sword, at her neck) When you are somewhere else? (he removes the swords and holds them in one hand. He places his hand on her shoulder) You are fearing for your father. (she nods) That is right. Do you pray to the Gods? Arya Stark: The old and the new. Syrio Forel: There is only one God and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death (he lifts her head up with his finger on her chin) : "Not today." (he steps back and makes a dancing stance. Arya takes a step back as he advances) [ VAES DOTHRAK - TENT ] (A heart is held. Dothraki chant as Dany sinks her teeth in, bites a chunk out, and chews it.) Viserys Targaryen: She has to eat the whole heart? (Viserys is standing amidst the dothraki crowd with Jorah) I hope that wasn't my horse. (Dany continues to eat, kneeling on a wooden platform. A priestess in front of her sings in dothraki, moving her arms in the air) Jorah Mormont: She's doing well. (Khal Drogo looks at Daenerys, a few feet away in front. She rips a chunk out and Drogo nods) Viserys Targaryen: She'll never keep it down. (the priestess sings louder) Tell me what she's saying. Jorah Mormont: "The prince is riding. I have heard the thunder of his hooves. Swift as the wind he rides. His enemies will cower before him... And their wives will weep tears of blood." She's going to have a boy. Viserys Targaryen: He won't be a real Targaryen. He won't be a true Dragon. (Dany eats the last chunk of the heart as the Priestess continues to sing. Dany chokes and drops, one hand on the ground, the other on her mouth. She vomits. Then pushes the bits back into her mouth. Gasping, she lifts herself back to her knees. She swallows the heart. Drogo smiles at her) (the priestess speaks in dothraki) Jorah Mormont: "The stallion who mounts the world. The stallion is the Khal of Khals. He shall unite the people into a single Khalasar. All the people of the world will be his herd". Daenerys Targaryen: (she stands up and speaks in dothraki) A Prince rides inside me! And he shall be called Rhaegol! (The Khallasar chants "Rhaegol! Rhaegol! Rhaegol! Rhaegol!....") Viserys Targaryen: They love her. (Drogo walks to her and lifts her up, his arms wrapped around her waist, and carries her around the platform. the crowd moves forward, encircling Dany. "Rhaegol! Rhaegol! Rhaegol! Rhaegol!......", the khalasar chants as the priestess screams) Jorah Mormont: She truly is a queen today. (he looks beside him, no one) ("Rhaegol! "Rhaegol! "Rhaegol! "Rhaegol! "Rhaegol! "Rhaegol!......) (A tent: Someone opens a chest. Inside, three dragon eggs. Viserys looks at them. Kneeling down, he heaves a sigh. Then puts one inside a bag. As he reaches for the second, someone enters the tent. He stands up, a quarter of his sword unsheathed, and turns. He sees Jorah) Jorah Mormont: Don't let them see you carrying a sword in Vaes Dothrak. You know the law. Viserys Targaryen: (sheaths his sword) It's not my law.(turns and puts another egg in the bag) Jorah Mormont: They don't belong to you. Viserys Targaryen: Whatever is hers is also mine. (and another) Jorah Mormont: Once, perhaps. (Viserys stares at the bag. He turns to Jorah) Viserys Targaryen: If I sell one egg, I'll have enough to buy a ship. Two eggs... a ship and an army. Jorah Mormont: And you have all three. Viserys Targaryen: I need a large army. (takes a step closer holding the bag) I'm the last hope of a dynasty, Mormont. The greatest dynasty this world has ever seen on my shoulders since I was five years old... And no one has ever given me what they gave to her in that tent. Never. Not a piece of it. How can I carry what I need to carry without it? Who can rule without wealth or fear or love? (smiles, walking up to him) You stand there, all nobility and honor. (a foot away) You don't think I see you looking at my little sister? Don't think I know what you want?. ...(they stare at each other) ...I don't care. You can have her. She can be Queen of the savages, and dine on the finest bloody horseparts, and you can dine on whichever parts of her you like. But let me go(stepping aside. Jorah steps to him) Jorah Mormont: You can go. You can't have the eggs. Viserys Targaryen: You swore an oath to me. Does loyalty mean nothing to you? Jorah Mormont: It means everything to me. Viserys Targaryen: And yet here you stand. Jorah Mormont: And yet here I stand. (Viserys stares at Jorah with anger. He drops the bag. Jorah steps aside as Viserys stares at him. Viserys then leaves the tent) [ THE VALE - SKY CELLS ] (Tyrion's hands are against the door) Tyrion Lannister: Mord!. .....Mord!. .....Mord!. .....(he kicks the door, once, twice, thrice) ....Mord! (as the door opens, Tyrion backs away. Mord enters, holding a stick, and hits Tyrion, causing him to fall) Mord: (above Tyrion) Noise again! Tyrion Lannister:. ...About the gold... Mord: (hits Tyrion) No gold! (waving the stick at him) No gold. Tyrion Lannister: Listen to me! Listen to me...Sometimes possession is an abstract concept...(gets ht on the arm by Mord) When they captured me they took my purse, but the gold is still mine. Mord: (pointing the stick) Where? Tyrion Lannister: Where? I don't know where (gets ht on his leg) , but when they free me... Mord: You want free? (points his stick at the outside) Go be free. Tyrion Lannister: Have you ever heard the phrase "Rich as a Lannister"? (Mord looks at him, interested) Of course you have! You're a smart man. You know who the Lannisters are. I am a Lannister. Tyrion, son of Tywin! And of course, you have also heard the phrase, "A Lannister always pays his debts." If you deliver a message from me( starts to stand, causing Mord to raise his stick) ... to Lady Arryn, I will be in your debt. I will owe you gold. If you deliver the message and I live, which I very much intend to do. Mord:. ......What message? Tyrion Lannister: (he stands up, Mord raises his stick up again, and takes a step back) Tell her I wish to confess my crimes. (Court: Metal knocking on wood. Catelyn turns her eyes to looks at Lord Robyn, hitting his armrest with his ring seated next to Lysa) Lysa Arryn: (to Tyrion) You wish to confess your crimes? Tyrion Lannister: Yes my Lady. I do, my Lady. (Tyrion's looking up at Lysa, who's sitting high above at an elevated level) Lysa Arryn: (turns to Catelyn, who's standing next to Robyn) The sky cells always break them. (turns to Tyrion) Speak, Imp. Meet your Gods as an honest man. (Tyrion looks around at the people gathered) Tyrion Lannister: Where do I begin, my Lords and Ladies? I'm a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at volence, (Catelyn looks on) but I'm good at convincing others to do volence for me. (Bronn looks on, aside a pillar, secluded from the crowd) You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stole her robe. She was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. (eyes closed) If I close my eyes, I can still see her tits bouncing. (the members of court murmur, Bronn smiles, and Tyrion opens his eyes) When I was 10, I stuffed my Uncle's boots with goatshit. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged and I escaped justice(Bronn keeps smiling) . When I was 12, I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. (the crowd gasps, outraged. Bronn lightly chuckles) I flogged the one-eyed snake. (chuckles and gasps sound in the air) I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry....(he rattles his chains, shaking his hand below his belly) into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate, at least I hope she did. I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel... Lysa Arryn: (stands) Silence! Robin Arryn: What happened next? Lysa Arryn: What do you think you're doing? Tyrion Lannister: Confessing my crimes. Catelyn Stark: Lord Tyrion, You are accused of hiring a man to slay my son Bran in his bed, and of conspiring to mrder my sister's husband Lord Jon Arryn, the Hand of the King. Tyrion Lannister: I'm very sorry. I don't know anything about all that. Lysa Arryn: You've had your little joke. I trust you enjoyed it. Mord! (Mord steps forward) Take him back to the dungeon. But this time find a smaller cell, with a steeper floor. Tyrion Lannister: Is this how justice is done in the Vale? (Mord steps back, smiling at Tyrion) You accuse me of crimes, (looking around at the court members) I deny them, so you throw me into a cell to freeze and starve? Where is the King's justice? (looks at Lysa) I am accused and demand a trial! (Catelyn looks at Lysa) Lysa Arryn: (looks at the crowd, then back at Tyrion) If you're tried and found guilty, then by the King's own laws you will pay with your life. Tyrion Lannister: I understand the law. Lysa Arryn: We have no executioner in the Eyrie. Life is more elegant here. (turns her head to her left) Open the Moon Door. (two men walk to a wheel and turn it) (Robyn giggles as a round door on the ground, a foot away from Tyrion, opens) Lysa Arryn: You want a trial, my Lord Lannister. Very well. My son will listen to whatever you have to say, and you will hear his judgment. Then you will leave... By one door or the other. Tyrion Lannister: No need to bother Lord Robin. I demand a trial by combat. (the members start to laugh. Lysa looks at the members, uncertain. She turns to Catelyn, who looks back worried. She then turns back to Tyrion) Lysa Arryn: You have that right. (a knight from the crowd approaches) Knight 1: I beg the honor. Let me be your champion. Knight 2: The honor should be mine.(standing amongs the member of court) For the love I bore your Lord husband, let me avenge his death. Knight 3: I'll fight for you.(from the crowd) Knight 4: It'll be my honor.(from the crowd) Knight 5: The honor should be mine.(from the crowd) Robin Arryn: Make the bad man fly! Lysa Arryn: (to a knight, standing behind Tyrion) Ser Vardis... You're quiet. Don't you want to avenge my husband? Vardis Egan: (steps forward) With all my heart, my Lady (he kneels. Catelyn looks at him) But the Imp is half my size. It would be shameful to slaughter such a man and call it justice. Tyrion Lannister: Agreed. Lysa Arryn: You demanded a trial by combat. Tyrion Lannister: Now I demand a champion. I have that right, same as you. Vardis Egan: (stands) I will gladly fight the Imp's champion, for you. Tyrion Lannister: I wouldn't be too glad, Ser. I name my brother Jaime Lannister. (whispers sound amongst the members) Lysa Arryn: The Kingslayer is hundreds of miles from here. Tyrion Lannister: Send a raven for him. I'm happy to wait. Lysa Arryn: (shakes her head) The trial will be today. Tyrion Lannister: (turns around) Do I have a volunteer? (members chuckle) Anyone? (Robyn giggles) Anyone? (Robyn giggles as the members continue chuckle. Tyrion turns to Lysa) Lysa Arryn: I think we can assume that no one is willing... Bronn: I'll stand for the dwarf. (Catelyn and Lysa look at Bronn. Tyrion turns to Bronn, smiling. Bronn shrugs at him) [ THE KINGSWOOD ] (Robert, Lancel, Renly, and Selmy walk through the forest. Robert in front, holding a spear, lancel just behind him, holding wine, Renly behind Lancel, also holding a spear, and Selmy behind Renly.) Lancel Lannister: (Walks up to Robert) More wine, your Grace? (they all stop walking as Robert takes the wineskin from Lancel and takes a chug. He gives it back and they resume walking. Lancel steps back to be between Renly and Selmy) Robert Baratheon: Now, what was I saying? Renly Baratheon: A simpler time. Robert Baratheon: It was. It was. You're too young to remember. Wasn't it simpler, Selmy? Barristan Selmy: It was, your Grace. Robert Baratheon: The enemy was right in the open, vicious as you like, all but sending you a bloody invitation. Nothing like today. Renly Baratheon: It sounds exhilarating. Robert Baratheon: Exhilarating, yes. Not as exhilarating as those balls and masquerades you like to throw (starts a hearty laugh as Renly swallows his irritation) (They continue to walk, deeper in the woods) You ever fck a Riverlands girl? Renly Baratheon: Once. I think. Robert Baratheon: You think? I think you'd remember. Back in our day, you weren't a real man until you'd fcked one girl from each of the Seven Kingdoms and the Riverlands. We used to call it "making the eight." (Selmy moves up to be infront of Lancel) Renly Baratheon: Those were some lucky girls. Robert Baratheon: You ever make the eight, Barristan? Barristan Selmy: I don't believe so, your Grace. Robert Baratheon: Those were the days. Renly Baratheon: Which days, exactly? (renly stops walking and Robert turns to him) The ones where half of Westeros fought the other half and millions died? (the rest of the party stop as well) Or before that, when the Mad King slaughtered women and babies because the voices in his head told him they deserved it? Or way before that, when dragons brned whole cities to the ground?! Robert Baratheon: Easy, boy. You might be my brother, but you're speaking to the King. Renly Baratheon: I suppose it was all rather heroic... If you were drunk enough and had some poor Riverlands whore to shove your prick inside and make the eight. (he slaps his spear to his other hand and walks off in anger. Robert looks at him. Lancel walks to Robert) Lancel Lannister: More wine, your Grace? (Robert grabs the wine and takes a long swig from it. He shoves it at Lancel's chest and walks away. Lancel looks back at Selmy and then follows Robert. Selmy looks on at Lancel as he resumes walking) [ KINGS LANDING - THRONE ROOM ] (A person's back is seen some feet away from the Iron Chair. Ned Stark is seated on the Iron Chair, with grand maester Pycelle seated on a chair to his left and Petyr Baelish to his right, sitting on a chair with a feather and papers on his lap) Farmer: They brned most everything in the Riverlands (A Farmer, standing some feet away from Ned) : our fields, our granaries, (some farmers behind him look down, sullen) our homes. They took our women, then they took 'em again. When they was done, they butchered them as if they was animals. They covered our children in pitch, and lit them on fre (his voice croaks as he tries not to cry) Maester Pycelle: Brigands, most likely. Farmer: They weren't thieves. They didn't steal nothing. (one of the farmers shakes his head) They even left something behind, your Grace. Maester Pycelle: It's the King's Hand you're addressing, (Ned looks at him) not the King. The King is hunting. (the farmer throws a sack to the floor and lifts it from the bottom side. Fish fall out) (people at court murmur and exlaim, appalled) Petyr Baelish: Fish. The Sigil of House Tully. (he leans his head towards Ned Stark and whispers) Isn't that your wife's house... Tully, my Lord Hand? Eddard Stark: (to the farmer) These men, were they flying a Sigil? A banner? Farmer: None, your... Hand. The one who was leading them... Taller by a foot than any man I've ever met, saw him cut the blacksmith in two, saw him take the head off a horse with a single swing of his sword. Petyr Baelish: (still leaning) That sounds like someone we know. The Mountain. Eddard Stark: (to the farmer) You're describing Ser Gregor Clegane. Maester Pycelle: Why should Ser Gregor turn brigand? The man is an anointed knight. Petyr Baelish: (to Pycelle) I've heard him called Tywin Lannister's mad dog. I'm sure you have as well. (to Ned, voice lowered) Can you think of any reason the Lannisters might possibly have for being angry with your wife? (he stares at Ned, who stares back. Ned turnes back to the farmer) Maester Pycelle: If the Lannisters were to order attcks on villages under the King's protection, it would be... Petyr Baelish: That would be almost as brazen as attacking the Hand of the King in the streets of the capital.(Pycelle mumbles to himself. Petyr and Ned exchange stares. Ned turns to the farmer) Eddard Stark: I cannot give you back your homes or restore your dad to life, but perhaps I can give you justice, in the name of our King, Robert. Lord Beric Dondarrion. (Berric steps forward from the crowd) (to Berric) You shall have the command. Assemble 100 men and ride to Ser Gregor's keep. Beric Dondarrion: As you command. (Ned stands with his stick, slightly struggling.) Eddard Stark: (to Berric) In the name of Robert of the House Baratheon, the first of his name, King of the Andals and the first men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and protector of the realm, I charge you to bring the King's justice to the false knight Gregor Clegane and all those who shared in his crimes. I denounce him and attaint him. (gasps, murmurs, and voices of outrage sound at court) I strip him of all ranks and titles, of all lands and holdings, and sentence him to death. Maester Pycelle: (stands up, outraged) My Lord. This is a drastic action. It would be better to wait for King Robert's return. Eddard Stark: Grand Maester Pycelle. Maester Pycelle: My Lord. Eddard Stark: Send a raven to Casterly Rock. Inform Tywin Lannister that he has been summoned to Court to answer for the crimes of his bannermen. He will arrive within the fortnight or be branded an enemy of the crown and a traitor to the realm. (Ned leaves Pycelle standing. Petyr puts the quill in his book, leaves them on the chair, and follows Ned. He walks with Ned, who's taking steps down from the Throne Stand) Petyr Baelish: (to Ned, voice lowered) A bold move, my Lord, and admirable. But is it wise to yank the lion's tail? Tywin Lannister is the richest man in all the Seven Kingdoms. (He stops walking) (voice raised) Gold wins wars, not soldiers. Eddard Stark: (walking on the Throne Room floor) Then how come Robert is King and not Tywin Lannister? (walks away) [ The Vale of Arryn-Court ] (A wheel is being turned by two men. As they turn it, the Moon Door opens. They stop turning, and mist hovers below the door. Ser Vadis loweres his helm as a servant gives Bronn, who's holding a sword, a shield. Ser Vadis grabs a shield from a servant as well. They stand a few feet away from each other, as Tyrion looks at Bronn. Catelyn looks on at them from above, beside Lysa and Robyn) Robyn Arryn: (Lord Robyn stands and signals with the throw of his fist) Fight! (Bronn and Vadis walk towards each other and their swords meet In the air. Ser Vadis swings as Bronn evades. Ser Vadis continues to attck, leading Bronn towards a wall. Bronn strikes away Vadis' attcks as he backs away up some steps. Vadis Drive his sword down above Bronn, who jumps over small pillars lining the steps, bearly missing Vadis' steel) Lysa Arryn: Stand and fight, coward! (Bronn kicks a stand with lit candles on top of it towards Vadis. Vadis steps over it and walks to Bronn. He swings as Bronn ducks. Again, this time their swords meet. Bronn deflects Vadis' blade. Again, from above, Vadis drives his sword down to lock with Bronn's in the air. Vadis pushes Bronn towards the Moon Door. Bronn tries to push back as the lock his sword has starts to dwindle. He manages to break the lock and push Ser Vadis away. Ser Vadis lunges again and Bronn keeps striking away, as he keeps backing away from him. Vadis lunges at Bronn, who moves away, causing Vadis to collide with a wall with his shoulder. Bronn pushes a man at Vadis, who moves the man away. As the men and women at court move away from the fight, Vadis continues to attck Bronn. As he strikes, Bronn ducks and quickly gets his sword between Vadis' shield and side, slicing him, draws it back and steps away. Lysa gasps) Tyrion Lannister: Yes! (Catelyn looks at Tyrion, who pushes his lower lip with his tongue from the inside) (Vadis lifts his helm, panting) Lysa Arryn: (to Vadis) Enough, Ser Vardis! Finish him! (she looks at Tyrion, who returns the glare. Vadis looks at Lysa, then Bronn. He lowers his helm, and they resume fighting) (Bronn ducks Vadis' attcks. Vadis advances and swings his swords at Bronn, who strikes it. Vadis' drives his shield down at Bonn and Bronn hits it, turns and drives his swords up Vadis' back, who yells and falls to his knees. Tyrion grins. Vadis slumpers up and runs at Bronn, who trips him with his foot, and falls down beside the Moon Door. Bronn kicks away Vadis' shield. On his knees, Vadis lifts his sword and Bronn holds up high the arm that holds it. He positions his sword high in the air and looks at Lysa. Cries of "No!" echo in the court. Lysa looks, shocked, as Catelyn closes her eyes. He drives his sword through, between Vadis' helmet and chest. People gasp, as blood pours down Vadis' neck. Bronn throws Vadis' arm into the Moon Door, Vadis' body with it.) Robin Arryn: (smiling) (to Lysa) Is it over? (Lysa stares at the mist below the Moon Door. She looks up to Bronn, angry) Lysa Arryn: You don't fight with honor! Bronn: No. (He looks at the Moon Door, points, and looks back at Lysa) He did. (Tyrion walks to Mord, who unshackles him. He walks towards Rodrick) Robin Arryn:(to Lysa) Can I make the little man fly now? Tyrion Lannister: Not this little man. This little man is going home. (he stops a foot away from an elevated level overlooking him, where Rodrick is standing amongst members of the court) (looking up to Rodrick) I believe you have something of mine. (Rodrick turns to Catelyn, standing some feet away. She nods at him. He takes a bag out of his pocket and throws it at Tyrion. As Tyrion catches it, coins rattle from inside. He bows to Lysa as he steps back and walks away. Bronn nods to Lysa and walks to Tyrion, who throws the bag to Mord. Bronn and Tyrion walk to the doors, which the guards in front open, and leave court,) Tyrion Lannister: A Lannister always pays his debts. (walking away, as Mord smiles while looking at the bag. The doors behind Tyrion close) [ KINGS LANDING - SANSA'S ROOM ] (Septa Mordane knits, sitting on a chair. Sansa does the same on her chair, in front of Mordane.) (Mordane stops knitting and looks at Sansa) Septa Mordane: You wear your hair like a real southern lady now. Sansa Stark: Well, why shouldn't I? We're in the South. Septa Mordane: (resumes knitting) It's important to remember where you come from. I'm not sure your mother would like these new styles. Sansa Stark: My mother isn't from the North. Septa Mordane: I'm aware of that. Sansa Stark: (looks at Mordane) Why do you care? Do you even have hair under there? Septa Mordane: Yes, I have hair. Sansa Stark: I've never seen it. Septa Mordane: Would you like to? Sansa Stark: (looks at Mordane) No. Where are you from anyway? The North or the South? Septa Mordane: I come from a very small village in... Sansa Stark: Oh, wait. I just realized, I don't care.(continues knitting) Septa Mordane: Sansa... Sansa Stark: (stops knitting and looks up at Mordane) Septa. (a door leading to the room, some feet away, opens) Septa Mordane: (to Sansa) Now you are being rude. (Joffrey walks into the room and Sansa and Mordane stand. As Joffrey walks to Sansa, Mordane makes courtsey) Septa Mordane: My Prince. Sansa Stark: (Courtseys) My Prince. Joffrey Baratheon: (bowing in front of Sansa) My Lady. I fear I have behaved monstrously the past few weeks. (he shows her a necklace he's holding) With your permission? (she turns, smiling. Joffrey puts it around her neck. She moves her pony tails to her front and holds the heart on the necklace) Sansa Stark: (turning to Joffrey) It's beautiful, like the one your mother wears. Joffrey Baratheon: You'll be Queen someday. It's only fitting you should look the part. (he looks down, then back up to Sansa) Will you forgive me for my rudeness? Sansa Stark: There's nothing to forgive. Joffrey Baratheon: You're my Lady. One day we'll be married in the throne room. (Sansa smiles) Lords and ladies from all over the Seven Kingdoms will come, from the last hearth in the North to the Salt Shore in the South, and you will be Queen over all of them. (Sansa smiles. Mordane, some feet away, looks down at the floor, unconvinced) I'll never disrespect you again. I'll never be cruel to you again. Do you understand me? You're my Lady now, from this day....(he touches her cheek with his hands) until my last day. (he moves in and they kiss. After the kiss, Sansa smiles.) [ WINTERFELL - IN THE WOODS OUTSIDE THE CASTLE ] (A horse rides a cart passed some people going the other way. Ros sits at the back of the cart with some turnips beside her. Theon comes up from behind riding a horse.) Theon Greyjoy: (to the cart) Stop! Stop! (the man riding the horse stops. Theon stops in front of Ros) Theon: (to Ros) What are you doing? Ros: Going to King's Landing. Theon Greyjoy: In a turnip cart? Ros: I'll find a ship heading south in White Harbor. Theon Greyjoy: You can afford that? Ros: Some of my friends are more generous than others. Theon Greyjoy: There's a thousand girls like you in King's Landing. Ros: So I'll have lots of company. Theon Greyjoy: Yes, you'll be very popular. Until some fat lord comes to visit with a big belly and a little prick and he can't get it up so he knocks all your teeth out. Ros: (chuckles) And what will happen to me if I stay here? Will I become Lady Greyjoy? Mistress of the Iron Islands? Theon Greyjoy: Don't be a fool. Ros: I hear Jaime Lannister attcked Lord Stark in the streets of King's Landing. Every man for a hundred miles will be marching off to wr soon. Most of them will never come back. There's nothing left for me here. (to the rider) Let's go, Stefon. (they start to ride off, leaving Theon) Theon Greyjoy: Let me see it one more time! Ros: See what? (Theon throws a coin at Ros. She catches it, then lifts her dress to reveal he c*t. He looks. She laughs, then covers it.) Theon Greyjoy: I'm going to miss you. Ros: I know. (she rides away as Theon looks on) [ KINGS LANDING - THE HAND CHAMBERS ] (Ned walks with his stick up to Sansa and Arya, both sitting on his bed.) Eddard Stark: I'm sending you both back to Winterfell. Sansa Stark: What? Eddard Stark: Listen. Sansa Stark: What about Joffrey? Arya Stark: Are you dying because of your leg? Is that why you're sending us home? Eddard Stark: What? No. Sansa Stark: Please, father. Arya Stark: You can't. I've got my lessons with Syrio. I'm finally getting good. Eddard Stark: This isn't a punishment. I want you back for your own safety. Arya Stark: Can we take Syrio back with us? Sansa Stark: Who cares about your stupid dancing teacher? I can't go. I'm supposed to marry Prince Joffrey. I love him and I'm meant to be his Queen and have his babies. Arya Stark: Seven hells. Eddard Stark: When you're old enough, I'll make you a match with someone who's worthy of you, someone brave, gentle and strong... Sansa Stark: I don't want someone brave, gentle and strong. I want him! (Arya smiles and lightly chuckles. Ned tries not to smile, looking down) He'll be the greatest King that ever was, a golden lion, and I'll give him sons with beautiful blond hair. (Ned looks up, pondering) Arya Stark: The lion's not his sigil, idiot. (Ned keeps wondering) He's a stag, like his father. Sansa Stark: He is not. He's nothing like that old drunk King. Eddard Stark: Go on girls, get your Septa and start packing your things. (Ned turns away and walks to his desk) Sansa:Wait! Arya Stark: (she grabs Sansa's arm and pulls her towards the door) Come on. Sansa Stark: But it's not fair! (Arya opens the door and leaves with Sansa, who quickly turns her head back at Ned before being pulled out of the room) (Ned sits on a chair and opens a book on his desk, The Lineages of The Great Houses of Westeros. He turns a few pages before stopping at House Baratheon) Eddard Stark: "Lord Orys Baratheon, black of hair. Axel Baratheon, black of hair. Lyonel Baratheon, black of hair. Steffon Baratheon, black of hair. (he turns a page) Robert Baratheon, black of hair. Joffrey Baratheon... Golden-head." (he looks up, shocked, and closes the book) [ VAES DOTHRAK - TENT ] (A woman enters a tent with a platter of food. Women dance around a fre with their tits showing. Daenerys' laughs with her maids, as a Dothraki beats the drums. The music throbbs. Irri stands next to Khal Drogo, who talks to some dothraki, as a host of people celebrate Daenerys' feast. Viserys stumbles into the tent.) Viserys Targaryen: Daenerys! (Jorah Mormont, seated beside Daenerys, looks at Viserys) Viserys Targaryen: Where's my sister? Daenerys Targaryen: (leans towards Jorah) Stop him. (Jorah stands up and walks to Viserys) Viserys Targaryen: Where is she? Where is she? (turns around, looking for her) I'm here for the feast. The whore's feast? (Jorah grabs Viserys' shoulder from behind) Jorah Mormont: Come. Viserys Targaryen: (turns to Jorah and shrugs his shoulder off) Get your hands off me! No one touches the Dragon! (Khal drogo laughs with a dothraki, some feet away from Viserys. Viserys spots him) (to Khal drogo) Khal Drogo! I'm here for the feast. (Drogo says something to Viserys in dothraki as he points his hand, holding wine, to a spot next to Viserys) Jorah Mormont: Khal Drogo says there is a place for you. (points behind Viserys, further away from the center of the feast) Back there. Viserys Targaryen: (shakes his head) That is no place for a King. Khal Drogo: You are no King. Viserys Targaryen: (he draws his sword. Jorah takes a step towards him and Viserys point his blade at his face) Keep away from me! Daenerys Targaryen: Viserys! Please. Viserys Targaryen: (he turns his head and spots Daenerys) There she is. (walks towards her, pointing his sword at her) Jorah Mormont: Put the sword down. They'll kll us all! Viserys Targaryen: They can't kll us. (pointing his sword again at Jorah) (Drogo mutters to his dothraki soldier, who then gets up) They can't shed blood in their sacred city. (he points his sword at various people around him. he turns and reaches Daenerys. He points his sword at a maid who tries to block him. Daenerys pulls the maid back, and the sword shifts back to Daenerys. He lowers it down to her belly) But I can. I want what I came for. (Irri starts mutterring to Drogo, translating) I want the crown he promised me. He bought you. But he never paid for you. Tell him I want what was bargained for or I'm taking you back. He can keep the baby. I'll cut it out and leave it for him. (Drogo speaks in dothraki to Viserys) Viserys: What's he saying? Daenerys Targaryen: He says yes. You shall have a golden crown... that men shall tremble to behold. (Viserys looks at drogo, who's staring at him intensely. Viserys looks back at Daenerys) Viserys Targaryen: That was all I wanted. (he smiles, relieved) What was promised. (he looks at Drogo) (Viserys takes a step back, still smiling, away from Daenerys, as Drogo walks to her. Drogo touches her belly with his hand. Her hand touches his. Drogo says something in dothraki as two of his men come up from behind Viserys and break his arm) Viserys: (Screams) No! You cannot touch me! (they pull him away as he struggles) I am the Dragon! I'm a dragon! I want my crown! (Drogo speaks again in dothraki, and his men push Viserys to the ground, still holding him) , (Drogo goes to a pot with hot water in it on above a fre. He empties it and throws some gold chains inside) Jorah Mormont: Look away, Khaleesi. Daenerys Targaryen: No. (Viserys looks at the pot Drogo threw gold the chains in, in horror. He turns to Danaerys) Viserys Targaryen: Dany, tell them. (the gold melts) Make them! Make them... (he looks at drogo) No, you can't! (back at dany) Dany, please! (Drogo walks to Viserys with the pot) Khal Drogo: (in front of Viserys) A crown for a King.(he pours the gold from the pot on Viserys' head) Viserys: (screaming) No! Agghhh! (Drogo crouches down and looks looks in anger at Viserys' melting face. Drogo's men release Viserys as he stops trembling. His body falls to the ground) Jorah Mormont: Khaleesi. Daenerys Targaryen: (looking eerily calm at Viserys) He was no Dragon. fre cannot kll a Dragon. [ END ] [ Transcriber's Notes ] I changed the name,'Wilding 1', to, 'The First', in the scene description. He was actually the first and only wildling to thrat Bran. Throughout Bran's journey from winterfell to the three eyed raven, with the acception of gilly, he never encountered a wilding again. And as Jorah said about the dothraki, they don't bare swords in Vaes Dothrak. Melting a person's face off though, I think, counts as shedding blood. The fre that melted the gold, that caused Viserys' face to bleed, among other things, certainly does give fans of Dany some poetic justice of fre and Blood.	{"type": "series", "show": "Game of Thrones", "episode": "01x06 - A Golden Crown"}	foreverdreaming
1.01 - Pilot written by Amy Sherman-Palladino directed by Lesli Linka Glatter OPEN IN STARS HOLLOW [Lorelai walks down the sidewalk. She passes a sign that says "Stars Hollow Founded 1779" and crosses the street. She goes into Luke's Diner. Inside, she takes off her coat and picks up an empty mug from a table, then walks up to the counter] LORELAI: Please, Luke. Please, please, please. LUKE: How many cups have you had this morning? LORELAI: None. LUKE: Plus... LORELAI: Five, but yours is better. LUKE: You have a problem. LORELAI: Yes, I do. [Luke fills her cup] LUKE: Junkie. LORELAI: Angel. You've got wings, baby. [The phone rings as Lorelai goes back to her table. Luke answers it.] LUKE: Luke's. [pause] Yeah. [A young guy seated at the counter turns and watches Lorelai sip her coffee, then gets up and approaches her.] JOEY: You make that look really good. LORELAI: Oh, it is really good. It's the best coffee in town. JOEY: Oh yeah? I'll have to get a cup. LORELAI: Good plan. JOEY: Yeah, I've never been here before. Just, uh, passing through on my way to Hartford. LORELAI: You're a regular Jack Kerouac. JOEY: Yeah. LORELAI: Yeah. JOEY: Hey, you mind if I sit down? LORELAI: Oh, you know what? Actually, I'm meeting someone so I. . . [Joey sits down at her table] JOEY: I'm Joey. LORELAI: Okay. JOEY: What, you don't have a name? LORELAI: No, I do have a name. I just, I'm really meeting someone, so. . . JOEY: So I guess I should get going. LORELAI: So soon? JOEY: What? LORELAI: I'm just screwing with your mind, Joey. It's nice to meet you. Enjoy Hartford. JOEY: Enjoy your coffee, mystery woman. LORELAI: Hm. I like that. [As Joey goes back to the counter, Rory walks in and sits across from Lorelai.] RORY: Hey. It's freezing. LORELAI: Oh, what do you need? Hot tea, coffee? RORY: Lip gloss. LORELAI: Aha. [Lorelai pulls a makeup bag out of her purse.] LORELAI: I have vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and toasted marshmallow. RORY: Anything in there not resembling a breakfast cereal? LORELAI: Yes. [Lorelai pulls out another bag.] LORELAI: It has no smell but it changes colors with your mood. RORY: God, RuPaul doesn't need this much makeup. LORELAI: Wow, you're crabby. RORY: I'm sorry. I lost my Macy Gray CD and I need caffeine. LORELAI: Ooh, I have your CD. [pulls the CD out of her purse] RORY: Thief. LORELAI: Sorry, and I will get you some coffee. [Lorelai picks up another coffee cup and goes back to the counter. Luke gives her a look.] LORELAI: What? It's not for me. It's for Rory, I swear. LUKE: You're shameless. [Behind Lorelai, Joey approaches Rory's table.] LORELAI: Look, Officer Krupke. She's right at that table, right over there. [Lorelai turns to point to Rory and sees Joey talking to her. Luke fills the coffee cup.] LORELAI: Ah. He's got quite a pair, this guy. [Lorelai takes the cup.] Thanks. [Lorelai goes back to the table.] JOEY: [to Rory] Yeah, I've never been through here before. LORELAI: Oh, you have, too. JOEY: Oh, hi. LORELAI: Oh, hi. You really like my table, don't you? JOEY: I was just, uh. . . LORELAI: Getting to know my daughter. JOEY: Your. . . RORY: Are you my new daddy? JOEY: Wow. You do not look old enough to have a daughter. No, I mean it. And you do not look like a daughter. LORELAI: That's possibly very sweet of you. Thanks. JOEY: So. . .daughter. You know, I am traveling with a friend. LORELAI: She's sixteen. JOEY: Bye. LORELAI: Drive safe. [Joey and his friend exit the diner.] [opening credits] CUT TO THE INDEPENDENCE INN [Lorelai walks into the lobby and hands a key to a bellboy.] LORELAI: Oh, here you go. BELLBOY: Thanks. [Lorelai walks to the front desk, where Michel is on the phone and sorting mail] MICHEL: Independence Inn, Michel speaking. [pause] No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked. [pause] We have a wedding party here. [pause] No, there is really nothing I can do. [pause] Yes, I'm sure. [pause] Positive. [pause] No, I don't have to look ma'am, I -- [pause] Yes, of course I'll look. [Michel puts the phone down, continues to sort the mail, then picks the phone back up.] MICHEL: No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked. [Drella pushes her harp through the crowded lobby.] DRELLA: Oh, no, don't move. Just ignore the tiny woman pushing the 200-pound instrument around. No, this is good, I like this. After this I'll, uh, bench press a piano, huh? [Drella stops behind a woman bent over tying her shoe.] Oh, that's it, lady, tie your shoe now. Yeah, don't worry, I'll wait. [Lorelai walks over to her] LORELAI: Hi, Drella, hi. I was just wondering, um, could you be, uh, nicer to the guests? DRELLA: I'm sorry. Did you not want a harp player? LORELAI: Yes, I did. DRELLA: And did you not want a great harp player? LORELAI: Yes, I did. DRELLA: Okay. I am a great harp player, and this is my great harp, okay. So if you're looking for someone to just be nice to the guests, get a harmonica player, or maybe some guy who whistles through his nose. Okay? Capisce? [Lorelai backs off and walks away. Drella goes back to pushing her harp into its place.] DRELLA: Oh, that is a great spot for a table. Decorator's a genius. [Lorelai walks back to the front desk where Michel is still on the phone] MICHEL: Madame, you have no idea how desperately I'd like to help, but see, I'd have to build a room for you myself, and I am not a man who works with his hands, so the best I can do is suggest that you please, please try for another weekend. Any weekend. [pause] Ah, good, fine, the twenty-first. Hold on, I'll look. [Michel leafs through the reservation book] No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked. [Michel looks at the phone, as apparently the woman has hung up on him] LORELAI: Has the plumber attended to room four yet? MICHEL: He was here, he did nothing, it's a hundred dollars. [Lorelai picks up the phone and dials a number.] LORELAI: Hi Marco, Lorelai. Talk to me about room four. What was wrong with it? [Rory comes in. Lorelai kisses her hello.] LORELAI: [on phone] Uh huh. I thought you replaced that already. [pause] Well, because you told me you did and I never forget anything, so this one's on you, right? [pause] Pleasure doing business with you. [hangs up] MICHEL: What is your offspring doing? RORY: I need stamps. Can I have these? MICHEL: No. LORELAI: Take them. What's with the muumuu? [gestures to Rory's baggy sweater.] RORY: Stop. LORELAI: No, I'm just saying, you couldn't find one made of metal in case anyone has X-ray eyes? RORY: And now we say goodbye. LORELAI: Ooh, hey, have Michel look at your French paper before you go. MICHEL: Excuse me? RORY: That'd be great. MICHEL: No. RORY: Come on, Michel. I'll tell all the ladies what a stud you are. MICHEL: Hm. I believe that memo has already been sent. LORELAI: [in a French accent] Oh, please, Michel. Pretty please with sucre on top. I will stop talking like this. MICHEL: Leave it. I'll look at it if I get a chance. RORY: It's due tomorrow. And pay special attention to the grammar. [Rory leaves. Lorelai stares at Michel.] MICHEL: I despise you. CUT TO OUTSIDE [Rory and Lane are walking to school. Lane puts a Woodstock '99 shirt on over the shirt she left home in.] RORY: When are you going to let your parents know that you listen to the evil rock music? You're an American teenager, for God's sake. LANE: Rory, if my parents still get upset over the obscene portion size of American food, I seriously doubt I'm gonna make any inroads with Eminem. [The girls stop by a sign that says "Teen Hayride" so Lane can put on her jacket.] LANE: [points to sign] I have to go to that. RORY: The hayride? You're kidding. LANE: My parents set me up with the son of a business associate. He's gonna be a doctor. RORY: How old is he? LANE: Sixteen. RORY: So he's gonna be a doctor in a hundred years. LANE: Well, my parents like to plan ahead. RORY: God, you have to go to the hayride with him? LANE: And his older brother. RORY: Oh, now you're kidding. LANE: Koreans never joke about future doctors. So, I guess you're not going, huh? RORY: No, I'm still fuzzy on what's fun about sitting in the cold for two hours with a bundle of sticks up your butt. LANE: Don't expect me to clear it up for you. [Lane and Rory have arrived at school. They walk inside as a guy standing on the steps watches them.] CUT TO CLASSROOM MRS. TRAISTER: For those of you who have not finished the final chapters of Huckleberry Finn you may use this time to do so. For those of you who have, you can start on your essay now. Whichever task you choose, do it silently. [The girls around Rory pass a bottle of nail polish back and forth as Rory concentrates on writing in her notebook.] GIRL #1: Maybe it's a love letter. GIRL #2: Or her diary. GIRL #3: Could be a slam book. [Girl #4 peers over Rory's shoulder.] GIRL #4: It's the assignment. [The girls turn away, Rory smiles to herself.] CUT TO THE INDEPENDENCE INN [Drella is playing the harp. A woman stands nearby and listens.] DRELLA: Nice, huh? WOMAN: Beautiful. DRELLA: Yeah, well, tell it to the tip jar. [Lorelai and a bellboy are crossing the lobby.] LORELAI: Take Mrs. Langworthy's bags up to 314. Make sure the drapes are closed and there's extra soap and she wants her pillow mints now. [There's a crash from the kitchen. Lorelai rushes in.] LORELAI: Sookie! [Sookie is on the floor near the stove.] SOOKIE: I'm okay, I'm okay. LORELAI: What did you do now? [to Salvador] Oh, why aren't you watching her? No estabas cuidandola? SALVADOR: Eh, no, she's this - bad food in the head. LORELAI: Oh. [to Sookie] I need you to be more careful. SOOKIE: I know, I'm sorry. Hey, I fixed the peach sauce. LORELAI: That's blood, you're bleeding. Why are you bleeding? SOOKIE: Oh, my stitches opened. I was using too much maple syrup. It strangled the fruit. LORELAI: When did you get stitches? SOOKIE: Friday night. Radish roses. LORELAI: Okay, stop moving. SOOKIE: You gotta taste the sauce. You have to try it while it's still warm. LORELAI: Okay. Oh, Sookie, I need you to be more careful. I need there to be fewer accidents. SOOKIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [Sookie feeds Lorelai a spoonful of the sauce.] LORELAI: Oh, dear God Almighty. That's incredible! SOOKIE: I want to put it on the waffles tomorrow morning for breakfast. LORELAI: I want to take a bath in that sauce! SOOKIE: I will make more! LORELAI: Someday when we open our own inn, diabetics will line up to eat this sauce. SOOKIE: Won't that be great? LORELAI: Yeah. But the key to someday achieving that dream is for you to stay alive long enough so we can actually open an inn, you understand? SOOKIE: Yes, I understand. LORELAI: All right. So, now, let's get you up and to the doctor, on three. One-two-three. SOOKIE: Ow! LORELAI: What? SOOKIE: Stepped on my thumb. I'm fine. On three. Okay. [Lorelai and Salvador help Sookie up.] CUT TO OUTSIDE [Lane and Rory are walking home from school.] LANE: Well, was it a good color at least? RORY: It had sparkles in it. LANE: Wow. RORY: And it smelled like bubble gum when it dried. LANE: Oh, well, there's no way Mark Twain can compete with that. [Lane and Rory walk into Kim's Antiques.] LANE: [calls] Mom, we're home. [to Rory] Did you hear something? RORY: I'm not sure. LANE: [calls] Mom? Are you here? MRS. KIM: [from another room] We're open! Everything's half off! RORY: We have contact. LANE: [calls] Mom? MRS. KIM: [calls] Lane? LANE: Mom? MRS. KIM: Lane? [Lane and Mrs. Kim call to each other as Lane and Rory walk around the cluttered store trying to follow the sound of Mrs. Kim's voice.] LANE: Mom, where are you? MRS. KIM: Lane, where are you? LANE: Back here! MRS. KIM: Over here! RORY: I think she's that way. LANE: Are we closer? MRS. KIM: I'm by the table! RORY: She's kidding, right? LANE: Look, we'll meet you in the kitchen! MRS. KIM: What? RORY: The kitchen! MRS. KIM: Who's that? LANE: It's Rory, Mom. MRS. KIM: Oh. RORY: Wow, I can hear the disappointment from here. LANE: Oh, come on. Stop it. RORY: You know, it sucks that after all these years your mom still hates me. LANE: She doesn't hate you. RORY: She hates my mother. LANE: She doesn't trust unmarried women. RORY: You're unmarried. LANE: I'm hayriding with a future proctologist. I have potential. [Lane and Rory wind their way through the antique furniture and come out in the kitchen where Mrs. Kim is waiting.] MRS. KIM: Go upstairs. Tea is ready. I have muffins - no dairy, no sugar, no wheat. You have to soak them in tea to make them soft enough to bite but they're very healthy. So, how was school? None of the girls get pregnant, drop out? LANE: Not that we know of. RORY: Though come to think of it, Joanna Posner was glowing a little. MRS. KIM: What? LANE: Nothing, Mama. She's just kidding. MRS. KIM: [very seriously] Boys don't like funny girls. RORY: Noted. [A bell rings, signaling that someone has just opened the shop door.] MAN: [calls] Hello? Anybody here? MRS. KIM: [calls] We're here! We're coming! [to the girls] Have the muffins. Made from sprouted wheat. Only good 24 hours. [calls] Everything's half off! MAN: [calls] Where are you? MRS. KIM: [calls] Over here! MAN: [calls] Where? MRS. KIM: [calls] By the chair! MAN: [calls] What chair? CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN KITCHEN [Sookie is chopping vegetables. Salvador pulls Sookie's hand away from the cutting board] SALVADOR: Careful! SOOKIE: I'm okay. Peppers, peppers, peppers. SALVADOR: Mike! [As Sookie moves around the kitchen the other cooks move things out of her way and prevent disasters.] SOOKIE: Okay, hello little vegetables, come with me. I got it. Okay, where's my glaze. SALVADOR: In the counter. SOOKIE: On the counter. On, not in, not in the counter. Okay, good, all right. My sauce. Whoo, that's pretty good. Hello, a little bit of greens. Okay, okay. Hello, my little babies. You like that? A little bit of juice. Okay. You're very pretty. Okay. SALVADOR: Mike, Mike! [Mike helps Sookie reach an iron skillet; Lorelai rushes into the kitchen] LORELAI: Sookie! [Sookie turns around and lifts the hand with the skillet. She hits Salvador in the face with it and knocks him over. ] LORELAI: Ooh. It's here! It happened! She did it! SOOKIE: Okay, I'm gonna need a little bit longer sentence. LORELAI: The Chilton school. Rory got in. SOOKIE: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! LORELAI: I know. Look. [reads from a letter] "Dear Ms. Gilmore, We are happy to inform you that we have a vacancy at Chilton Preparatory starting immediately. Due to your daughter's excellent credentials and your enthusiastic pursuit of her enrollment" - I offered to do the principal to get her in - "we would be happy to accept her as soon as the first semester's tuition has been received." SOOKIE: This is very exciting! [They both giggle and hug] LORELAI: Is something burning? SOOKIE: My bangs, earlier. Go on, go on, go on. LORELAI: This is it. She can finally go to Harvard like she's always wanted and get the education that I never got and get to do all the things that I never got to do and then I can resent her for it and we can finally have a normal mother-daughter relationship. SOOKIE: Oh, good. [They giggle again. Rory walks in] RORY: Mom? LORELAI: Oh! RORY: You're happy. LORELAI: Yeah. RORY: Did you do something slutty? LORELAI: I'm not that happy. [Lorelai and Sookie giggle.] LORELAI: Here. [hands Rory a gift bag.] RORY: What's going on? LORELAI: Open it. [Rory pulls out a plaid skirt.] RORY: I'm gonna be in a Britney Spears video? SOOKIE: You're going to Chilton! Oh, sorry. RORY: Mom? LORELAI: You did it, babe. You got in. RORY: How did this happen? You didn't. . .with the principal, did you? LORELAI: No, honey, that was a joke. They have an open spot. You're gonna start on Monday. RORY: Really? LORELAI: Really. RORY: I don't believe this! Oh my God, I'm going to Chilton! LORELAI: Yeah. [Lorelai and Rory hug.] RORY: Sookie, I'm going to Chilton! [Sookie and Rory hug.] SOOKIE: I'll make cookies. Protestants love oatmeal. RORY: I have to call Lane. [Rory starts to leave then hugs Lorelai again.] RORY: I love you. LORELAI: I love you. [Rory leaves.] LORELAI: My girl's going to Chilton SOOKIE: Yeah. Rory's going to Chilton! [As Lorelai leaves, Sookie starts a little dance and begins to sing.] SOOKIE: Rory's going to Chilton! Rory's going to Chilton! Rory's going to Chilton! [Sookie tosses a dish towel over her shoulder. It lands on the stove and catches fre. Salvador covers it with a lid.] CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN LOBBY [The phone is ringing, Michel is ignoring it.] LORELAI: Michel, the phone. MICHEL: Mmhmm. It rings. LORELAI: Can you answer it? MICHEL: No. People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them. LORELAI: You know who's really nice to talk to? The people at the unemployment agency. [Michel answers the phone.] MICHEL: Independence Inn, Michel speaking. [pause] No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked. [Lorelai opens an envelope and pulls out a letter. She reads it and gasps] CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE [Lorelai is walking around while on the phone.] LORELAI: I'm holding for Miss Bell. I've been trying to get a hold of her all day. [pause] Lorelai Gilmore. [pause] Hi! Oh, hi, hi. Yeah, uh, my daughter Rory has just been accepted - yay. [pause] Thank you, and, um, I got the invoice for your enrollment fee. Wow, that is a lot of zeros behind that five. [pause] Uh huh. Okay, well, I guess what I'm wondering is if you couldn't take, say, part of it now, just to get her going? [pause] Well, but she's supposed to start Monday. It just doesn't give me a lot of time to pull a bank job. [pause] Well, never mind, I was just kidding. [pause] No, a bank job is robbing a bank but -- [pause] Uh-huh. Oh, no. No, no, no. I don't want you to give up her space. I'll just -- I'll have to figure it out. [pause] Okay. No, thank you. It's been a real treat talking to you. [pause] Yeah. Bye-bye. CUT TO LORELAI'S FRONT PORCH [It's nighttime. Lorelai and Sookie are talking on the porch.] LORELAI: What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? SOOKIE: You can have anything I own. My car! Sell my car. LORELAI: Oh, sweetie, no one wants your car. SOOKIE: Yeah. LORELAI: There's something I haven't thought of, I know there is. There's something out there staring me right in the face. I just. . .I haven't seen it. SOOKIE: You know, you might consider calling your par-- LORELAI: No. SOOKIE: But I don't think you have a -- LORELAI: Stop. SOOKIE: You can at least go and -- LORELAI: Uh. SOOKIE: Okay, can I say one more thing? I think it's your only option. LORELAI: Sookie, there are several chapters from a Stephen King novel I'd reenact before I'd resort to that option. SOOKIE: Okay, dropped. Dropped. LORELAI: Thank you. [Rory comes outside in her Chilton skirt, which is too big on her.] RORY: Mom? So what do you think? SOOKIE: [enthusiastically] Wow, it makes you look smart! RORY: Okay, no more wine for you. Mom? LORELAI: You look like you were swallowed by a kilt. RORY: Fine, you can hem it. A little. LORELAI: Ooh. RORY: Only a little. LORELAI: Okay. Or I could hem it a lot. RORY: No, you're not. I don't want it to be too short. [They all walk inside.] RORY: I can't believe tomorrow's my last day at Stars Hollow High. LORELAI: I know. RORY: Today I was so excited I dressed for gym. LORELAI: You're kidding! RORY: And I played volleyball. LORELAI: With other people? RORY: And I learned that all this time I was avoiding group sports? LORELAI: Yeah? RORY: Was very smart because I suck at them. [Lorelai begins to pin up the skirt.] LORELAI: Well, yeah, you got that from me. SOOKIE: Where's your paté? LORELAI: At Zsa Zsa Gabor's house. SOOKIE: Right. I'm going to the store because you have nothing. You feel like duck? LORELAI: Ooh, if it's made with chicken, absolutely. SOOKIE: I'll be back. LORELAI: Bye. [Sookie leaves.] LORELAI: All right. This will give you an idea. Go see how you like it. RORY: Okay. I love being a private school girl. [Rory heads to her bedroom to check her skirt. Lorelai stares at pictures on the mantle.] CUT TO ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE [Lorelai sits on the runner of her Jeep outside a large, imposing house] [Cut to the door opening from the inside of the house. Lorelai is standing on the porch.] LORELAI: Hi, Mom. EMILY: Lorelai, my goodness, this is a surprise. Is it Easter already? LORELAI: [laughs nervously] No, I just, uh, finished up my business class and I thought I would stop by. EMILY: To see me? LORELAI: Yes. EMILY: Well, isn't that nice. Come in. LORELAI: Thanks. [She walks inside and they walk to the living room] LORELAI: The place looks great. EMILY: It hasn't changed. LORELAI: Well, there you go. How are the girls at the bridge club? EMILY: Old. LORELAI: Well...good. [Emily and Lorelai take seats opposite each other.] EMILY: You said you were taking a business class? LORELAI: Yeah, mmhmm, yeah. I'm taking a business class at the college twice a week. I'm sure I told you. EMILY: Well, if you're sure then you must have. [long silence] Would you like some tea? LORELAI: I would love some coffee. RICHARD: [calls from another room] Emily? I'm home. EMILY: We're in here. [Richard enters the room] LORELAI: Hi, Dad. RICHARD: What is it, Christmas already? EMILY: Lorelai was taking a business class at the college today and decided to drop in to see us. RICHARD: What business class? EMILY: Well, she told us about it, dear, remember? RICHARD: No. LORELAI: Well, actually, I came here for a reason. Dad, would you mind sitting down for a minute? RICHARD: You need money. LORELAI: I have a situation. RICHARD: You need money. LORELAI: Dad, will you just please let me get this out, okay? Um, Rory has been accepted to Chilton. EMILY: Chilton? Oh, that's a wonderful school. It's only five minutes from here. LORELAI: That's right, it is. She can start as early as Monday. Um, the problem is that they want me to put down an enrollment fee plus the first semester's tuition, and I have to do that immediately or she loses her spot. RICHARD: So, you need money. LORELAI: Yeah. But it's not for me, it's for Rory. And I fully intend to pay you back every cent. I don't ask for favors, you know that. EMILY: Oh, yes, we know. RICHARD: I'll get the checkbook. LORELAI: Thank you. You have no idea. Thank you. EMILY: On one condition. LORELAI: [mumbles to herself] So close. EMILY: Since we are now financially involved in your life, I want to be actively involved in your life. LORELAI: What does that mean, Mother? EMILY: I want a weekly dinner. LORELAI: What? EMILY: Friday nights, you and Rory will have dinner here. LORELAI: Mom... EMILY: And you have to call us once a week to give us an update on her schooling and your life. That's it. That's the condition. If you agree, you'll come to dinner tomorrow night and leave here with a check. Otherwise, I'm sorry, we can't help you. LORELAI: I don't want her to know that I borrowed money from you. Can that just be between us? EMILY: Does seven o'clock work for you? LORELAI: [with a forced smile] Perfect. CUT TO STARS HOLLOW HIGH [Rory is cleaning out her locker with Lane.] RORY: And we get to wear uniforms. No more having people check you out to see what jeans you're wearing 'cause everyone's dressed alike in boring clothes and just there to learn. LANE: Okay, there's academic-minded and then there's Amish. [They start walking down the hallway. Rory is carrying a box full of books and papers.] RORY: Funny. LANE: Thank you! So I told my mom you're changing schools. RORY: Was she thrilled? LANE: The party's on Friday. I gotta go. I have to have a pre-hayride cup of tea with a future doctor. How do I look? Korean? RORY: Spitting image. LANE: Good. Bye. RORY: Bye. [Lane leaves. Rory drops a book and some papers. As she bends down to pick them up, she turns and sees a guy standing right beside her. It's the same guy who watched her and Lane walk into the school a few days earlier.] RORY: God! You're like Ruth Gordon just standing there with a tannis root. Make a noise. DEAN: Rosemary's Baby. RORY: Yeah. DEAN: Well, that's a great movie. You've got good taste. [silence] Are you moving? RORY: No, just my books are. DEAN: My family just moved here from Chicago. RORY: Chicago. Windy. Oprah. DEAN: Yeah. Yeah, that's the place. I'm Dean. RORY: Hi. [silence] Oh, Rory. Me. That's -- that's me. DEAN: Rory. RORY: Well, Lorelai technically. DEAN: Lorelai. I like that. RORY: It's my mother's name, too. She named me after herself. She was lying in the hospital thinking about how men name boys after themselves all the time, you know, so why couldn't women? She says her feminism just kind of took over. Though personally I think a lot of Demerol also went into that decision. I never talk this much. DEAN: Well, I better go. RORY: Oh, sure. DEAN: I have to go look for a job. RORY: Okay, good. [Dean starts to leave.] RORY: You should check with Miss Patty. DEAN: [turns back] What? RORY: About the job. You should check with Miss Patty. She teaches dance. She was actually on Broadway once. DEAN: I. . .I don't really dance much. RORY: No, no, she just kind of knows everything that's going on in town. She'll know if someone's looking. DEAN: Oh, great. Uh, thanks. Hey, what are you doing now? RORY: Nothing...much. I should throw this away at some point. DEAN: Well, maybe you could show me where this Miss Patty's place is. RORY: Yeah, I guess so. I really don't have anything important to. . .let's go. [They walk out of the school and down the street. Dean carries Rory's box of books for her.] DEAN: So, have you lived here all your life? RORY: Yes. Well, pretty much. I was actually born in Hartford. DEAN: Well, that's not far. RORY: Thirty minutes with no traffic. DEAN: Really? RORY: I timed it. DEAN: Okay, then. [They walk past the bakery] RORY: So, do you like cake? DEAN: What? RORY: They make really good cakes here. They're very...round. DEAN: Okay, I'll remember that. RORY: Good. Make a note. You wouldn't want to forget where the round cakes are. DEAN: So, how are you liking Moby Dick? RORY: Oh, it's really good. DEAN: Yeah? RORY: Yeah, it's my first Melville. DEAN: Cool. RORY: I mean, I know it's kind of cliché to pick Moby Dick as your first Melville but. . .hey, how did you know I was reading Moby Dick? DEAN: Uh, well, I've been watching you. RORY: Watching me? DEAN: I mean, not in a creepy, like, "I'm watching you" sort of way. I just -- I've noticed you. RORY: Me? DEAN: Yeah. RORY: When? DEAN: Every day. After school you come out and you sit under that tree there and you read. Last week it was Madame Bovary. This week it's Moby Dick. RORY: But why would you -- DEAN: Because you're nice to look at, and because you've got unbelievable concentration. RORY: What? DEAN: Last Friday these two guys were tossing around a ball and one guy nailed the other right in the face. I mean, it was a mess, blood everywhere, the nurse came out, the place was in chaos, his girlfriend was all freaking out, and you just sat there and read. I mean, you never even looked up. I thought, "I have never seen anyone read so intensely before in my entire life. I have to meet that girl." RORY: Maybe I just didn't look up because I'm unbelievably self-centered. DEAN: Maybe, but I doubt it. [They smile at each other.] RORY: So, did I ask if you like cake? DEAN: Yeah, you did. RORY: Oh. 'Cause they have really good cake back there. CUT TO LUKE'S DINER [Rory and Lorelai are sitting quietly at a table.] LORELAI: So, you were late getting home tonight. RORY: Yeah, I went to the library. LORELAI: Oh. Oh, I forgot to tell you, we're having dinner with your grandparents tomorrow night. RORY: We are? LORELAI: Mmhmm. RORY: But it's September. LORELAI: So? RORY: So what holiday's in September? LORELAI: Look, it's not a holiday thing. It's just dinner, okay? RORY: Fine, sorry. [Luke brings their main courses to the table.] LUKE: Red meat can kll you. Enjoy. [leaves] LORELAI: So, I finished hemming your skirt today. [no answer] A grunt of acknowledgment might be nice. RORY: I don't understand why we're going to dinner tomorrow night. I mean, what if I had plans? You didn't even ask me. LORELAI: Well, if you had plans I would have known. RORY: How? LORELAI: Well, you would have told me. RORY: I don't tell you everything. I have my own things. LORELAI: Fine, you have things. RORY: That's right. I have things. LORELAI: Hey, I had dibs on being the bitch tonight. RORY: Just tonight? LORELAI: What the hell is wrong with you? RORY: I'm not sure I want to go to Chilton. LORELAI: What? RORY: The timing is just really bad. LORELAI: The timing is bad? RORY: And the bus ride to and from Hartford, it's like thirty minutes each way. LORELAI: I can't believe what I'm hearing. RORY: Plus, I don't think we should be spending that money right now. I mean, I know Chilton's got to be costing you a lot. LORELAI: Oh, you have no idea. RORY: All of your money should be going toward buying an inn with Sookie. LORELAI: What about college? What about Harvard? RORY: We don't know that I can't get into Harvard if I stay where I am. LORELAI: Okay, enough. Enough of the crazy talk, okay? I appreciate your concern but I have this covered. RORY: I still don't want to go. LORELAI: Why? RORY: Because I don't. LORELAI: I have to get out of here. [Lorelai stands up and starts to leave.] RORY: We have to pay first. [Lorelai drops some money on the table. They walk out of the diner and start walking down the street. The hayride wagon passes by them, with a glum Lane sandwiched between two Korean boys on the back. Miss Patty stands in the doorway of her dance studio watching over a class of little girls.] MISS PATTY: One-two-three. One-two-three. One-two-three. It's a waltz, ladies. Susie, do you have to tinkle? Then uncross your legs, darling. [sees Rory] Oh, Rory, good. I think I found a job for your male friend. LORELAI: What male friend? MISS PATTY: They need a stock boy at the supermarket. I already talked to Taylor Doose about him. You just send him around tomorrow. RORY: Okay, thanks. LORELAI: What male friend? MISS PATTY: Oh ,he's very cute. You have good taste. [Miss Patty turns back to her dance class.] MISS PATTY: Hands in the air, not in the nose. [Rory starts walking quickly down the street, and Lorelai follows her.] LORELAI: Oh, you're gonna have to walk faster than that. You're gonna have to turn into friggin' Flo Jo to get away from me. CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE [Rory enters and slams the front door. Lorelai follows her inside.] LORELAI: This is about a boy, of course. I can't believe I didn't see it. All this talk about money and bus rides. You got a thing going with a guy and you don't want to leave school. RORY: I'm going to bed. LORELAI: God, I'm so dense. That should have been my first thought. After all, you're me. RORY: I'm not you. LORELAI: Really? Someone willing to throw important life experiences out the window to be with a guy. It sounds like me to me. RORY: Whatever. LORELAI: So who is he? RORY: There's no guy! LORELAI: Dark hair, romantic eyes? Looks a little dangerous? RORY: This conversation is over. LORELAI: Tattoos are good, too! RORY: I don't want to change schools because of all the reasons I've already told you a thousand times. If you don't want to believe me, that's fine. Goodnight. [goes to her bedroom] LORELAI: Does he have a motorcycle? 'Cause if you're gonna throw your life away, he better have a motorcycle! [Lorelai walks into Rory's bedroom] LORELAI: Well, I think that went pretty well, don't you? RORY: Thanks for the knock. LORELAI: Listen, can we just start all over, okay? You tell me all about the guy and I promise not to let my head explode, huh? Rory, please talk to me. [silence] Okay, I'll talk. Don't get me wrong. Guys are great. I am a huge fan of guys. You don't get knocked up at sixteen being indifferent to guys. But, babe, guys are always going to be there. This school isn't. It's more important. It has to be more important. RORY: I'm going to sleep. LORELAI: Rory. You've always been the sensible one in this house, huh? I need you to remember that feeling now. You will kick your own butt later if you blow this. RORY: Well, it's my butt. LORELAI: Good comeback. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: You're welcome. Rory, come on. RORY: I don't want to talk about this. Could you please, please just leave me alone? LORELAI: Okay, fine. We always had a democracy in this house. We never did anything unless we both agreed. But now I guess I'm going to have to play the mom card. You are going to Chilton whether you want to or not. Monday morning, you will be there, end of story. RORY: We'll see. LORELAI: Yeah, we will. [Lorelai slams the door on her way out. Rory turns on her CD player. Macy Gray's I Try plays. Lorelai goes to the living room and turns on the same song.] CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN KITCHEN [There is smoke coming out of the broken stove as some workers start to remove it. Sookie sits sadly at the counter.] SOOKIE: I swear I don't know what happened. LORELAI: It's not important. SOOKIE: I made that dish a hundred times. It never exploded. LORELAI: Please, forget it. SOOKIE: Oh, God, I klled a Viking. Oh, you should fre me, or make me pay the cost of a new stove out of my paycheck. LORELAI: Well, whatever you want. SOOKIE: I can't afford a new stove! Those things are expensive. LORELAI: Sookie, please, I am begging you, pull yourself together, okay? I got no sleep last night and I think I put my contacts in backwards. SOOKIE: Rory's still mad at you, huh? LORELAI: Hey, I'm not so crazy about her either. SOOKIE: It was a fight. Mothers and daughters fight. LORELAI: No, we don't fight. We never fight. [Michel walks in] MICHEL: You told me to tell you when your daughter arrived. Well, she's here and she's sitting in my chair. LORELAI: [to Sookie] Hold on just a minute. [Lorelai leaves] MICHEL: And you are the one left standing. That is a funny, funny thing, no? [In the lobby, Lorelai walks up to Rory at the front desk] LORELAI: Hey, no muumuu today. You know what's weird, I kind of miss it. RORY: You left me a note to meet you here. LORELAI: Yeah, I thought you might want to work a couple hours, make a little extra cash. RORY: Fine. LORELAI: Aw, you're not gonna give me the "Mommy Dearest" treatment forever, are ya? RORY: You wanted me here, I'm here. Should I do something or what? LORELAI: Yeah, go home. Dinner's at seven. Be ready to go. RORY: Fine. LORELAI: Fine. [Rory leaves. Michel walks over and sits in his chair.] MICHEL: Ah, my chair. CUT TO ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE [Lorelai and Rory stand on the front porch staring at the door] RORY: So, do we go in or do we just stand here reenacting The Little Match Girl? LORELAI: Okay, look, I know you and me are having a thing here and I know you hate me but I need you to be civil, at least through dinner and then on the way home you can pull a Menendez. Deal? RORY: Fine. [Lorelai rings the doorbell. Emily opens the door.] RORY: Hi, Grandma. EMILY: Well, you're right on time. LORELAI: Yeah, yeah, no traffic at all. [they walk inside] EMILY: I can't tell you what a treat it is to have you girls here. LORELAI: Oh, well, we're excited, too. EMILY: Is that a collector's cup or can I throw it away for you? LORELAI: Oh. [Lorelai starts to toss her empty coffee cup into a nearby wastebasket.] EMILY: In the kitchen, please. [to Rory] So, I want to hear all about Chilton. RORY: Well, I haven't actually started yet. [As Rory and Emily walk away, Lorelai drops the cup into the wastebasket. Cut to the living room, where Richard is reading a newspaper. Rory and Emily walk in] EMILY: Richard, look who's here. RICHARD: Rory. You're tall. RORY: I guess. RICHARD: Well, what's your height? RORY: 5'7". RICHARD: That's tall. She's tall. [Lorelai enters] LORELAI: Hi, Dad. RICHARD: Lorelai, your daughter's tall. LORELAI: Oh, I know. It's freakish. We're thinking of having her studied at M.I.T. RICHARD: Ah. [he returns to reading his paper.] EMILY: Champagne, anyone? LORELAI: Oh, that's fancy. EMILY: Well, it's not every day that I have my girls here for dinner on a day the banks are open. A toast - to Rory entering Chilton and an exciting new phase in her life. RICHARD: Here, here. EMILY: Mmm. Well, let's sit everyone. This is just wonderful. An education is the most important thing in the world, next to family. LORELAI: And pie. [silence] Joke, joke. EMILY: Ah. [There is a long silence. Richard hands Rory a section of the newspaper.] CUT TO THE DINING ROOM [Later that night, they're all sitting at the table eating dinner] EMILY: Rory, how do you like the lamb? RORY: It's good. EMILY: Too dry? RORY: No, it's perfect. LORELAI: Potatoes could use a little salt, though. EMILY: Excuse me? RORY: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz? RICHARD: Oh, people die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay. LORELAI: Well, at least you have your new slogan. RICHARD: And how are things at the motel? LORELAI: The inn? They're great. EMILY: Lorelai's the executive manager now. Isn't that wonderful? RICHARD: Speaking of which, Christopher called yesterday. LORELAI: Speaking of which? How is that a speaking of which? RICHARD: He's doing very well in California. His Internet start-up goes public next month. This could mean big things for him. [to Rory] Very talented man, your father. LORELAI: She knows. RICHARD: He always was a smart one, that boy. [to Rory] You must take after him. LORELAI: Speaking of which, I'm gonna get a Coke. Or a Knfe. [Lorelai storms out of the room. She goes into the kitchen and starts scrubbing a dish in the sink. The maid comes in and looks at her.] LORELAI: Hi, how are you doing? [Back at the dinner table, Rory starts to get up.] RORY: I think I'm gonna go talk to her - EMILY: No, I'll go. You stay and keep your grandfather company. [Emily enters the kitchen.] EMILY: Lorelai, come back to the table. LORELAI: Is this what it's gonna be like every Friday night? I come over and let the two of you attck me? EMILY: You're being very dramatic. LORELAI: Dramatic? Were you at that table just now? EMILY: Yes, I was, and I think you took what your father said the wrong way. LORELAI: The wrong way? How could I have taken it the wrong way? What was open to interpretation? [Richard and Rory are able to overhear Lorelai and Emily arguing.] EMILY: Keep your voice down. LORELAI: No, Mother. I can't take it anymore. Tonight just seems like a nightmare. EMILY: You're dripping all over the floor. LORLEAI: Why do you pounce on every single thing I say? EMILY: That's absurd. You barely uttered a word all night. LORELAI: That's not true. EMILY: You said pie. LORELAI: Oh, come on. EMILY: You did. All I heard you say was pie. LORELAI: Why would he bring up Christopher? Was that really necessary? EMILY: He likes Christopher. LORELAI: Isn't that interesting? Because, as I remember, when Christopher got me pregnant, Dad didn't like him so much. EMILY: Oh, well, please, you were sixteen. What were we supposed to do - throw you a party? We were disappointed. The two of you had such bright futures. LORELAI: Yes. And by not getting married we got to keep those bright futures. EMILY: When you get pregnant, you get married. A child needs a mother and a father. LORELAI: Oh, Mom. Do you think that Christopher would have his own company right now if we'd gotten married? Do you think he would be anything at all? EMILY: Yes, I do. Your father would have put him in the insurance business and you'd be living a lovely life right now. LORELAI: He didn't want to be in the insurance business and I am living a lovely life right now. EMILY: That's right, far away from us. LORELAI: Oh, here we go. EMILY: You took that girl and completely shut us out of your life. LORELAI: You wanted to control me. EMILY: You were still a child. LORELAI: I stopped being a child the minute the strip turned pink, okay? I had to figure out how to live. I found a good job. EMILY: As a maid. With all your brains and talent. LORELAI: I worked my way up. I run the place now. I built a life on my own with no help from anyone. EMILY: Yes, and think of where you would have been if you'd accepted a little help, hmm? And where Rory would have been. But no, you were always too proud to accept anything from anyone. LORELAI: Well, I wasn't too proud to come here to you two begging for money for my kid's school, was I? [Rory overhears this] EMILY: No, you certainly weren't. But you're too proud to let her know where you got it from, aren't you? Well, fine, you have your precious pride and I have my weekly dinners. Isn't that nice? We both win. [Back at the table, Richard is asleep in his chair.] CUT TO OUTSIDE [Lorelai and Rory walk out of the house. Lorelai sighs and leans against the outside wall.] RORY: Mom? LORELAI: I'm okay. I just. . .do I look shorter? 'Cause I feel shorter. RORY: Hey, how 'bout I buy you a cup of coffee? LORELAI: Oh, yeah. You drive, though, okay, 'cause I don't think my feet will reach the pedals. CUT TO STARS HOLLOW [Lorelai and Rory walk toward Luke's Diner] RORY: So, nice dinner at the grandparents' house. LORELAI: Oh, yeah, her dishes have never been cleaner. RORY: You and Grandma seemed to have a nice talk. LORELAI: How much did you hear? RORY: Not much. You know, snippets. LORELAI: Snippets? RORY: Little snippets. LORELAI: So basically everything? RORY: Basically, yes. LORELAI: Well, the best laid plans. [They walk into the diner and sit at a table] RORY: I think it was really brave of you to ask them for money. LORELAI: Oh, I so do not want to talk about it. RORY: How many meals is it gonna take 'til we're off the hook? LORELAI: I think the deli spread at my funeral will be the last one. Hey, wait, does that mean RORY: Can't let a perfectly good plaid skirt go to waste. LORELAI: Oh, honey, you won't be sorry. [Luke walks up to the table dressed in a button-down shirt] LORELAI: Wow, you look nice. Really nice. LUKE: I had a meeting earlier at the bank. They like collars. You look nice, too. LORELAI: I had a flagellation to go to. LUKE: So, what'll you have? LORELAI: Coffee, in a vat. RORY: I'll have coffee also. And chili fries. LUKE: That's quite a refined palate you got there. [Luke walks away] LORELAI: Behold the healing powers of a bath. So, tell me about the guy. RORY: You know what's really special about our relationship? The total understanding about the need for one's privacy. I mean, you really understand boundaries. LORELAI: So tell me about the guy. RORY: Mom! LORELAI: Is he dreamy? RORY: Oh, that's so Nick at Night. LORELAI: Well, I'm gonna find out anyway. RORY: Really? How? LORELAI: I'll spy. [Luke returns with their order] LUKE: Coffee. . .fries. I can't stand it. This is so unhealthy. Rory, please, put down that cup of coffee. You do not want to grow up to be like your mom. RORY: Sorry, too late. [Rory and Lorelai smile at each other. Luke walks away.] LORELAI: So tell me about the guy. RORY: Check, please. LORELAI: No, really, are you embarrassed to bring him home? RORY: I'm not embarrassed. LORELAI: Does he talk at all? RORY: No, Mom, he's a mime. THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x01 - The Pilot"}	foreverdreaming
kll Me Now (The scene opens at the Gilmores' weekly dinner.) RICHARD: Dinner was lovely, Emily. EMILY: Mira does make a perfect cassoulet. LORELAI: Who's Mira? EMILY: Our cook. LORELAI: I thought the cook was Heidi. EMILY: Oh, no, we let Heidi go months ago. She had a problem closing things -- the door, the refrigerator -- RICHARD: The liquor bottle. EMILY: Then it was Trina, then Sophia. RICHARD: Oh, I liked Sophia. EMILY: You did not. RICHARD: I didn't? EMILY: She was the one who sang. RICHARD: That's right -- terrible woman. EMILY: And after Sophia we had Anton. RICHARD: That's right. Anton was the one that I liked. LORELAI: I'm sorry, Dad, how do you mix up Anton and Sophia? RICHARD: What do you mean? LORELAI: Well, one is a man and one is a woman. RICHARD: And your point being? LORELAI: That one is a man and one is a woman. RICHARD: I have a lot to do in a day, Lorelai, I don't have time to keep up with a multitude of people that your mother employs. LORELAI: But one is a man and one is a woman. (The cook brings in a cake.) LORELAI: The dinner was so wonderful, Mira. SARAH: It's Sarah. LORELAI: Oh, I'm sorry. (Sarah leaves.) LORELAI: Mom! Her name is Sarah! EMILY: I thought she said Mira. LORELAI: Ugh! RORY: Hey, Grandma, these plates are really pretty. EMILY: Thank you, Rory. They were your great-grandmother's. RICHARD: Lorelai the first. RORY: I thought Mom was the first. EMILY: Not in the name. LORELAI: No, but in so many other things I was a regular trailblazer. Just finishing your thought, Mom. RICHARD: Lorelai the first was my mother. She was an extremely accomplished equestrian, a distinguished patron of the arts, and she was also world-famous for her masquerade balls. She was quite a woman, my mother. EMILY: Yes she was. Mira, come cut the cake please. LORELAI: Yes, and why don't you bring Sarah out here with you? EMILY: So, Lorelai, how are things at that charming little inn of yours? LORELAI: Mm -- they're still charming and little. We're just crossing our fingers it doesn't assert itself and become rude and large. RORY: Mom's having a huge wedding there this week. EMILY: Really? LORELAI: Yeah, actually there's people coming from all over the country. EMILY: Well, isn't that nice? LORELAI: Yeah. EMILY: Rory, how's Chilton? LORELAI: OK, done with me now. EMILY: I'm sorry, was there more to the story? LORELAI: Uh, Rory has to pick a team sport to play. RORY: It's a requirement. RICHARD: Physical fitness is as important as intellectual fitness. So says Plato and so say I. EMILY: What sport are you going to pick? RORY: I'm not sure. I'm not really the athletic type. LORELAI: I told her she should go out for the debating team. RORY: It's not a sport. LORELAI: It is the way the Gilmores play. EMILY: So, what are your choices? RORY: God, there's like a thousand of them: basketball, lacrosse, swimming, track, golf -- EMILY: Golf? RORY: Yeah. EMILY: Well your grandfather is a golf player. LORELAI: Oops. EMILY: He plays every week at the club. He could teach you to play like a pro. RICHARD: Emily. EMILY: Why, he could take you there on Sunday. It's perfect. RICHARD: It's not something you can teach in an afternoon. LORELAI: That's OK. Rory can pick something else. EMILY: Why should she pick something else? She needs to learn a sport and Richard can teach her a sport. (to Rory) You can use your mother's old golf clubs. They're upstairs gathering dust along with the rest of her potential. LORELAI: OK, Mom, can I maybe talk to you for a minute? EMILY: We're having dessert. LORELAI: I know but I'd like to talk to you fast before the sugar sets in and makes me crazy. EMILY: You are the oddest person. LORELAI: Too easy. (Lorelai and Emily get up from the table and go into another room to talk.) EMILY: What is so important it can't wait for cake? LORELAI: Keep moving. EMILY: This is as far as I can go unless you'd like me to bore my way through the wall. LORELAI: Don't do this, Mom. EMILY: Do what? LORELAI: Force Rory and Dad to go golfing. EMILY: I'm not forcing anybody. LORELAI: Well you're manipulating the situation in a way that gives no one a way out. That's force. Look it up. EMILY: I'm just trying to help your daughter get an education. LORELAI: Thank you. She'll find another sport. EMILY: Why should she? LORELAI: Because she doesn't want to go and Dad doesn't want to take her. EMILY: Oh, your father doesn't know what he wants. He'd get his hair cut at the butcher if I let him. LORELAI: Let it go please. EMILY: Well, isn't this interesting? You're afraid. LORELAI: Of what? EMILY: That Rory will enjoy the club and have a good time without you. LORELAI: That's crazy. EMILY: I agree. LORELAI: I'm not afraid. EMILY: Then let her go. LORELAI: She won't enjoy it, Mom. EMILY: Well why don't you just let Rory decide? LORELAI: Because Rory is the sweetest kid in the whole world and she won't tell you that she doesn't want to go becasue she's too afraid of hurting your feelings. EMILY: Oh I'm sure you can give her some coaching to help her get over that. LORELAI: I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, Mom. Believe it or not, this is not about you. EMILY: Of course it's about me. If Rory goes and has a good time without you, then I win. LORELAI: OK, Bob Barker. Listen, Rory knocks herself out all week at Chilton. Weekends are the only time she has to unwind and have fun. EMILY: With you? LORELAI: I'm there. EMILY: So let me get this straight. There's no way that Rory can possibly enjoy a weekend day with her grandfather. LORELAI: You're just going to twist it all around, aren't you? EMILY: And you know your daughter so well that you don't even have to ask her opinion on this. She'd be miserable and you know it. LORELAI: I am so setting myself up here, but yes, she would be miserable. EMILY: That sounds a little controlling to me. LORELAI: Yeah I walked right into that. EMILY: Interesting, isn't it, you being the one who's controlling? LORELAI: I am not being -- EMILY: According to you I was the only one in the family with that particular gift. LORELAI: Mom I never said that! EMILY: I guess you and I are more alike that you thought, aren't we? LORELAI: You win. (Later, Lorelai and Rory are leaving for home.) LORELAI: (sighs) Oh, man, did you get blindsided? I'm so sorry. RORY: That's OK. LORELAI: I tried to stop it, I swear. RORY: I know. Maybe it won't be that bad. LORELAI: Maybe it won't. RORY: Maybe I'll like it. LORELAI: Maybe you will. RORY: Maybe you could come with me. LORELAI: Oh, is there a "you're crazy" team? 'Cause I think they'd make you captain. RORY: Please? LORELAI: Rory, I love you. I would take a bllet for you. But I'd rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club with you. RORY: Fine. LORELAI: I'd rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you. RORY: I got it. LORELAI: Don't stop me, I'm on a roll. I'd rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Ooh, I'd rather get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you. RORY: Would you like me to drive so you can continue your diatribe? LORELAI: Would ya? Thanks. I'd rather cut off my head and use it as a punch bowl than go to the club with you. (Cut to the inn. Lorelai escorts the brides, Jackie and Jessica, and their mother around the grounds.) LORELAI: You'll walk down here over the bridge with the swans floating by and the music playing -- JACKIE: What are they doing with those purple flowers? LORELAI: Just decorating the bridge. JACKIE: I didn't want purple flowers. I wanted pink. JESSICA: And I wanted blue. LORELAI: So I thought violet would be a nice compromise. JACKIE: But we paid for pink flowers. JESSICA: And blue flowers. MRS. SHALES: You did not pay for anything. I told her to decorate with violet flowers and while it's very nice of her to try to take the heat for me it's certainly not necessary. If you don't like it, buy your own flowers. (silence) Yes, I thought so. Now go away. My Advil is wearing off. (The twins walk away.) MRS. SHALES: Their father spoiled them. LORELAI: Oh, they're just excited. MRS. SHALES: They're spoiled. And they won't move away. MRS. SHALES: Now, disaster list. What if it rains? LORELAI: We'll put up tents. MRS. SHALES: What if it's too windy? LOREAI: Well, then we'll secure everything and put extra hair spray in everybody's hair. MRS. SHALES: Too hot? LORELAI: We'll use umbrellas and fans that won't cause any damage because of the things that have been secured and the hair that has been sprayed. MRS. SHALES: So I have nothing to worry about. LORELAI: Nope. MRS. SHALES: Well there must be something. LORELAI: Listen, I have everything under control. Why don't you go up to your room and have a fabulous bubble bath and I'll send up some wine and a masseuse who bears a remarkable resemblance to Antonio Banderas. MRS. SHALES: How remarkable? LORELAI: Get ready to applaud. MRS. SHALES: This is my favorite place in the whole world. (Inside the inn Michel is handling gift baskets.) LORELAI: (to an employee) Could you send Maury up to room twelve in about twenty minutes? Thanks. (to Michel) So, any problems? MICHEL: With the wedding or my life? LORELAI: One guess -- and I'll give you a hint: it's not your life. MICHEL: Do you stage these events to trture me? LORELAI: Yes. MICHEL: Job well done. LORELAI: OK, let's start again. Any problems? MICHEL: Guests are checked in, baskets are given out, and 200,000 tons of Jordan almonds have been delivered. LORELAI: OK, good. Did Rory call? MICHEL: No. LORELAI: Hmm. She's golfing all day with my father and I'm half expecting this big "save me" call to come in -- you don't care at all do you? MICHEL: To me you are the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoon. LORELAI: OK, forget it. So, have the grooms arrived? Their plane was supposed to get in a 7 so I'm surprised they're not here by now. MICHEL: Well maybe they made a run for it. LORELAI: Ooh, somebody got stood up at the prom. MICHEL: Oh. Dear. LORELAI: What? (Male twins have just walked in the front door.) MICHEL: Are those -- ? LORELAI: No. It would be too -- (The brides rush into the grooms' arms.) LORELAI: -- weird. MICHEL: You kept this from me on purpose. LORELAI: It's like a really snooty Doublemint commercial. MICHEL: Just let me know when the midgets and clowns arrive. (Michel tries to leave.) LORELAI: Oh, no, no, no. You have to get them all settled in. MICHEL: I'm not talking to them. LORELAI: Yes you are. MICHEL: Well I'm not talking to them nicely. (Cut to Emily and Richard's house.) RICHARD: It's after 8:00. She should be here already. EMILY: She'll be here. RICHARD: You're supposed to tee off at your designated time. EMILY: You pay good money to that place. You'll tee off when you tee off. Is that what you're wearing? RICHARD: Yes. EMILY: Hmm. RICHARD: What's wrong with what I'm wearing? EMILY: Nothing. It's fine. RICHARD: This whole thing is absurd. EMILY: She's your granddaughter. RICHARD: She's a sixteen year old who would rather be at the mall. EMILY: Make sure you show her all around the club, especially the rose garden. RICHARD: I am not a guide. EMILY: And make sure you take her to lunch and have her get dessert. RICHARD: No one said anything about lunch. EMILY: I hope Lorelai's clubs are still in good shape. RICHARD: Emily you are not listening to me. I will teach her to play golf, as promised by you, but lunch is out of the question. EMILY: You have to eat. RICHARD: Yes, but -- EMILY: So you'll eat together. Do you ahve sunscreen? (The doorbell rings.) RICHARD: Emily. (The doorbell rings again.) EMILY: She's here. RICHARD: Ah, 8:30. We must remember to buy her a watch. EMILY: Richard, so help me God, you will be sweet to this girl and make this a memorable day for her. This is the first time we've gotten to show our granddaughter off at the club and it means a great deal to my happiness -- and yours -- that this day go well. Are we clear? (Silence. Emily opens the door.) EMILY: Rory, hello. RORY: Sorry I'm late. EMILY: Nonsense. You're right on time. RORY: Hi, Grandpa. RICHARD: Rory, nice to see you. EMILY: This is a perfect day for golfing, isn't it Richard? RICHARD: It was cooler at 8. RORY: Am I dressed OK? I didn't have any of those short pant things. EMILY: Well, actually there is something missing. Oh, wait a minute... (She puts a hat on Rory's head.) EMILY Here you go. Now you look just like Tiger Woods. RORY: Wow, that's some hat. EMILY OK, off you go, you two. Have a wonderful time. RORY: We will. RICHARD: You bet. (Cut to Richard and Rory walking along the golf course.) RORY: Is it hard to become a member here? RICHARD: Everyone has to go through a thorough screening process. RORY: Kind of like the FBI? RICHARD: We're much more thorough than that. RORY: Wow. RICHARD: Yes. Did you know the merger of Forscape and D.S.S. RORY: Really. RICHARD: International finance will never be the same and all because of a lost golfing bet. RORY: That's crazy. RICHARD: Well that's high finance. Well, here we are. Now, what do you know about golf? RORY: That it's a good walk spoiled? RICHARD: (sighs) Well, your driver is the most powerful club in your bag, and as such, it can be your most valuable asset or your greatest liability. To wield it properly requires a precise combination of confidence and humility. RORY: Confidence and humility. Got it. RICHARD: There you are. That's a pretty good natural grip. Now, line the toe of your left foot up with the ball. That's right. Now, drop this shoulder a little bit. Now, keeping your left arm firm, draw the club back, swing it cleanly through the ball. (Rory takes a swing and hits the grass.) RORY: I'm betting that was wrong. RICHARD: (wearily) There are no rights and wrongs to the learning process. Try that again. (Rory does the same thing.) RORY: I'm betting that was wrong. (Cut to the kitchen at the inn.) SOOKIE: These are blueberries. I think ordered strawberries. JACKSON: I know but -- SOOKIE: Yeah, no, I did. I wrote it down. I got a copy. (reading) Yeah, mushrooms, melon, endive, peaches, kiwi. JACKSON: Excuse me, crazy lady -- SOOKIE: Oh I should make some kiwi ice cream. That would be good sometime. JACKSON: Sookie! SOOKIE: What? JACKSON: Listen. I know you ordered strawberries but they weren't any good so instead of selling you sub-standard strawberries, I brought blueberries. SOOKIE: I've got to make strawberry shortcake for 200 people. I think I'm gonna need strawberries. JACKSON: Use the blueberries. SOOKIE: To make what? JACKSON: Blueberry shortcake. SOOKIE: There's no such thing. JACKSON: Hey, the world was flat until someone took a boat trip. SOOKIE: Can I see these strawberries? JACKSON: No. SOOKIE: Just one? JACKSON: No. SOOKIE: How about a Polaroid? JACKSON: No. LORELAI: Coffee, coffee, coffee. Ooh, Sookie, can I take some of this cake home to Rory? She's going to need a special treat tonight. She's spending the entire day with my father golfing at the club. SOOKIE: No. JACKSON: Take the blueberries! SOOKIE: No. JACKSON: Ugh. LORELAI: Golfing was masterminded by my mother, of course. One minute we're having an excrutiating family dinner and the next she's manipulating my kid into spending her Sunday with my father at the country club. Oh, I can't talk about it anymore. It's making me too upset. Tell me something happy. (Sookie is about to cry.) SOOKIE: I can't make the strawberry shortcake. LORELAI: Wow. You suck at this game. MICHEL: The battle for soup versus salad is waging in the other room. Come quick and settle it, please, as I'm running out of French curse words that they won't understand. (Lorelai and Michel go into the lobby where the twin brides are in each others' faces arguing between soup and salad.) JESSICA: Soup -- JACKIE: Salad...why are you making such a scene, Jessica? Jessica you are making a -- (Mrs. Shales walks over to Lorelai and Michel.) MRS. SHALES: It's been 45 minutes of soup or salad. Soup or salad -- I can't do it anymore. Get me a cab. I'm going to go far away now and never come back. LORELAI: How about if the guests get a choice of soup or salad? MRS. SHALES: That -- that will work. LORELAI: Choice of soup or salad. SOOKIE: Got it. (The grooms join the brides.) LORELAI: It's so weird. SOOKIE: Which one is which? LORELAI: I don't know. I think the one on the right is Matt. MICHEL: No, the one on the left is Matt. The one on the right is Mark. LORELAI: That's very impressive. MICHEL: Yes, well, I'm very good at observing people, you know, learning the tics and traits, sound of their voices. It's a gift. SOOKIE: That one has a Post-It on its back. MICHEL: Oh, well, then that's Mark. The one on the right is Matt. LORELAI: You will go and take that off of him. MICHE: I will not. We can't all just call everyone 'sweetie' and get away with it. SOOKIE: Now, go with me, here. Let's say Mark walks into a hotel room and he sees his wife naked, but it's not his wife, it's his naked sister-in-law, and he has sex with her. Would that be cheating? MICHEL: My head hurts. LORELAI: (laughing) I think no. SOOKIE: Really? Lucky. MICHEL: If you ask me this union belongs on a public access station. It's against the laws of nature and just this short of completely obscene. LORELAI: Oh, you won't be giving the wedding toast. (Lorelai is walking Mrs. Shales to the door.) LORELAI: How did everything work out? MRS. SHALES: Do you have children? LORELAI: A daughter. MRS. SHALES: Do you hate her? LORELAI: No. MRS. SHALES: Not ever? LORELAI: Well I wasn't wildly fond of her during labor. MRS. SHALES: That was the high point for me. (Cut to Rory and Richard walking on the golf course.) RORY: I can't believe I ht the ball! RICHARD: Well it was quite impressive. RORY: It landed in the water. RICHARD: Yes, but the splash was quite impressive. RORY: This place is so beautiful. I could see just coming here to think or read. But that probably defeats the purpose of the holes with the flag thing. RICHARD: There is something rather serene about walking around here. RORY: Do you come here every week? RICHARD: No. When I can. I'm often working on the weekends. RORY: Bummer. RICHARD: Isn't it. (Men in a golf cart pass by.) MAN: Hi Richard. RICHARD: Hello. RORY: Can I ask you a question? RICHARD: Go ahead. RORY: What do you do? RICHARD: I'm the executive vice-president of the Gehrman-Driscoll Insurance Corporation. RORY: Wow. RICHARD: Yes. RORY: And as executive vice-president, what do you do? RICHARD: Well, it's a very big company -- one of the largest in the United States as a matter of fact -- I have a myriad of duties which would bore you greatly to hear about. RORY: Oh, OK. RICHARD: I oversee our international division. RORY: That sounds important. RICHARD: Well, it rates a parking spot. RORY: Do you get to travel a lot? RICHARD: Quite a bit. RORY: Lucky. RICHARD: I suspect you have a yen for travelling. RORY: I'm up to my ears in yens. RICHARD: Any particular place you'd like to go? RORY: Hundreds of places. Paris, Rome, London, Prague, Istanbul, Fez -- Have you ever been to Fez? RICHARD: I can't say that I have. RORY: I want to go to Fez. RICHARD: I think travelling for a young girl is a very important thing. Your mother never got a chance to travel much. RORY: I know. She talks about that all the time. RICHARD: She does? RORY: We've got a deal. When I graduate from high school we're going to go backpacking through Europe together. You know, do the whole hostel thing. I just hope it really happens. RICHARD: Well we'll just have to make sure that it does. (A golf cart pulls up beside them.) GLORIA: Richard! RICHARD: Gloria! You look wonderful. GLORIA: Aren't you sweet? Is Emily here? RICHARD: No, I'm taking my granddaughter for a round of golf. GLORIA: Well, we must get together. RICHARD: Absolutely. (Gloria pulls away.) RICHARD: The most odious woman alive. (Time lapse.) RICHARD: Now, we'll meet back here in forty minutes? RORY: OK. RICHARD: And then, if you like, we can get some lunch. RORY: That would be great. RICHARD: Fine. RORY: Cool. RICHARD: Yes. (Cut to the men's steam room.) MAN #1: And I'm telling him I've been coming here for twenty years my young friend, and for twenty years that cart, number 43, has been my golf cart. MAN #2: He should have known that. MAN #1: Everybody knows that. MAN #3: Did he give you the cart? MAN #1: Damn right he gave me the cart. MAN #2: You should have never had to ask because he should have known that. RICHARD: Hello, gentlemen. MAN #1: Richard, good to see you. RICHARD: Heard about your golf cart. Too bad. MAN #1: Yeah, well, I'm still angry about it. RICHARD: Well, yes. MAN #3: Richard, who was that young lady I saw you on the golf course with? RICHARD: That is my granddaughter. MAN #2: Really? She's lovely. MAN: #1: Lorelai's girl. RICHARD: Mmm-hmm. MAN #3: You're lucky. My granddaughter looks like she just fell off a potato truck. MAN #2: My granddaughter would never be caught here. Might get in the way of the time spent at the tattoo parlor or getting something pierced or doing whatever she does while she runs wild through the streets like a rabid dog. MAN #1: Cut her off! That would get her attention! MAN #3: I can help you with the litigation. RICHARD: Actually, Rory just started Chilton. MAN #2: (impressed) Really? MAN #1: Damn fine school. RICHARD: Said she wanted to learn golf. I think she's taken to it quite well. MAN #1: Yeah, well, just as long as isn't taken with a certain golf cart. MAN #2: I'm writing a letter to the board. MAN #1: I wish you would. If they would take -- (The men go back to their golf cart discussion. Cut to the women's steam room. Rory listens to the gossip.) WOMAN #1: And you know she took the house. WOMAN #2: She deserved it -- putting up with that tramp all those years. WOMAN #1: Last year, Christmas, he bough them both the same bracelet. WOMAN #2: She should have just sht him like his first wife did. WOMAN #1: Oh I love Janie. Is she out yet? (Gloria enters.) GLORIA: Nanette, Peg. WOMAN #1: Gloria, hi. Good game? GLORIA: Not bad, you? WOMAN #1: Oh, I just came for the steam. We must get together and play sometime soon. GLORIA: Next week? WOMAN #1: I'll call you. (Gloria moves to a different area.) WOMAN #1: (whispering) The most odious woman alive. (Cut to the inn. The staff is still decorating for the wedding.) LORELAI: OK, I need more tulle here. I need the feeling of a major tutu, OK? Oh, uh, hey, Gary, Gary! The ribbons go on the chairs, OK, not on the trees. Oh, great! (Lorelai hears swans and goes down to meet the truck.) LORELAI: Hey! SWAN GUY: Where do you want the swans? LORELAI: Well do you know where the pond is? SWAN GUY: Nope. LORELAI: You know that little road you came up? SWAN GUY: Nope. LORELAI: OK. Do you know how to say 'big help' in Chinese? SWAN GUY: Nope. LORELAI: Michel! (to Swan Guy) This is twenty swans? SWAN GUY: Sure. Why not? MICHEL: You screeched? LORELAI: Yeah. I need you to show this guy where to put the swans. MICHEL: Absolutely not. LORELAI: Well I can't leave, OK? I've got a major tulle festival going on out here. MICHEL: I will never go near those filthy birds. LORELAI: Why? MICHEL: I hate the swans. LORELAI: These particular swans? MICHEL: No, all swans. I was attcked by a band of swans in the Luxembourg Gardens when I was a boy. No one forgets that. LORELAI: (laughing) Oh no -- not being attcked by a band of swans. Was it an all-boy band? Kind of a scary, feathery 'N Sync kind of fiasco? MICHEL: This is not funny. LORELAI: No, I'm sorry, it's not. It's not funny at all. (The swans honk and Michel jumps.) LORELAI: (laughing) Oh my God! Come on, you have to admit, that's a little funny. DRELLA: Hey, Pepe le Pew, you wanna give me a hand with this? MICHEL: No. LORELAI: Listen, it's Drella or the swans. MICHEL: So either one beast of terror or another? DRELLA: What the hell is he babbling about? MICHEL: (quietly, to Lorelai) Don't -- LORELAI: He's afraid of the swans. MICHEL: (quietly) Thank you. DRELLA: Of course he is. He's French. LORELAI: Mmm. MICHEL: (to Swan Guy) OK, I'll take you to the pond. LORELAI: Thank you. MICHEL: But stay far away from me. (Drella watches as Michel leads Swan Guy away.) DRELLA: Can't stand the talk -- love to watch the walk. (Cut to the dining room at the country club.) RORY: She caught him in the pool house with the tennis pro, not the riding instructor. RICHARD: I had no idea. RORY: That committee of yours is not looking at people as much as you think. RICHARD: Why would they? From what you've told me they're all involved in one nefarious activity after another. RORY: It's a conspiracy. RICHARD: It's Peyton Place. Is there more? RORY: Can you handle it? RICHARD: I'll steel myself. RORY: OK, Mr. Neville likes all things frilly. RICHARD: Good God. He's my broker. RORY: I don't think one will affect the other. (Man #1 and Man #2 or 3 approach the table.) MAN #1: Mind if we barge in? RICHARD: Look who's here. Ah, Rory, this is Julian Johnson (MAN #1) and Edward James (MAN #2 or 3) EDWARD: Call me "Ed". JULIAN: You can call me "Ed" too. (The two men laugh.) RORY: It's nice to meet you. RICHARD: Would you like to join us? EDWARD: If Rory doesn't mind us intruding on her time with her grandfather. RORY: No, that's fine. JULIAN: Oh that's good. So, we hear you're attending Chilton. RORY: I just started. JULIAN: That's a hard school. RORY: Yes sir. RICHARD: Rory is an excellent student. JULIAN: Really? RICHARD: 4.0 grade point average. JULIAN: Whoa! That's got me bat. (Edward and Julian laugh.) RICHARD: She's going to Fez someday. JULIAN: Fez? What the hell is in Fez? RICHARD: That's for her to find out. (Cut to Luke's. Rory is waiting for Luke.) LUKE: Interesting hat. RORY: I went golfing with my grandfather today. LUKE: Did you know that golf courses are an environmental blight because of the chemicals they use to keep the grass green? RORY: Actually I did. (silence) Bad joke, sorry. (Luke walks away just before Lorelai comes in the door.) LORELAI: My God -- this day. The swans, the tulle, my head...Luke, I need the largest cheeseburger in the world. Let's break a record here, mister. (to Rory) So, the wedding is a nightmare. We got these ten boxes of creepy larvae that are supposed to swarm into beautiful butterflies on the wedding day. They swarmed a little early! What's with the hat? RORY: Grandma gave it to me. LORELAI: Oh, now, that's just mean. RORY: It's not that bad. LORELAI: Do you want a mirror? (Rory takes off the hat.) LORELAI: So, Rory's golfing adventure. Tell me! RORY: It was fine. LORELAI: Oh, honey, I brought you some of Sookie's chocolate cake to make you feel better. RORY: It really wasnt't that bad. LORELAI: You are the sweetest kid in the whole world. Where on earth did you get that from? Luke, am I mistaken or did that sign on the door say "open"? (to Rory) So, where were we? RORY: Me golfing. LORELAI: Right -- go. RORY: OK, well, uh, by the end of the day I could even ht the ball. Sometimes it wasn't my ball but the intentions were good. LORELAI: Well good intentions and no physical exertion whatsoever is what the game of golf was built on. So, um, did you order? RORY: I'm not hungry. I had a big lunch at the club. LUKE: With all the other devastators of our land. LORELAI: You had a big lunch at the club? RORY: Yes, it was quite good. LORELAI: Quite? What's with the quite? RORY: What do you mean? LORELAI: You don't ever say quite. RORY: I've said quite plenty of times. LORELAI: Whatever. So besides the "quite good" lunch you had, what else happened? RORY: Nothing. We played, I met his friends, I took a steam. LORELAI: You took a steam? RORY: Yeah. I sweated out all my toxins and I stole a towel. LORELAI: Wow! Sounds like you really had a good time. RORY: I did. LORELAI: Really? RORY: Really. LORELAI: Really? RORY: Really. LORELAI: Really. RORY: OK, new word now. LORELAI: Sorry -- I just -- I'm surprised. I thought you were gonna be bored. RORY: I was kind of surprised too. I don't know -- it was pretty there and Grandpa and I talked a lot. LORELAI: You talked? Really? RORY: You're doing it again. LORELAI: Sorry. You talked? RORY: We talked about Fez. LORELAI: And he thought it was a hat. RORY: I told him about our backpacking trip. He thought it was a great idea. LORELAI: Wow. So you really had fun. RORY: Yeah. LORELAI: That's great. (Luke serves Lorelai's cheeseburger.) LORELAI: That is really, really great. LUKE: I thought you were starving. LORELAI: Things change. Move on. RORY: Does this hat really look bad on me? (Rory puts the hat back on.) LORELAI: No. I think it looks kind of cute. (Cut to the lawn at the inn. Miss Patty is teaching the twin couples to dance.) MISS PATTY: It's your wedding day. Feel each other. Use the thumping of your heart as a metronome. Let passion be your coreographer. Be as light on your toes as you are in your hearts. No, no, no, no darling. Let me show you. (Miss Patty pulls one couple apart and begins dancing with the groom.) MISS PATTY: You know, in some countries if you dance this close you're cheating on your wife. MATT (or MARK): You're next. MARK (or MATT): Take your time. (Lorelai goes inside the inn to where Rory is working. The phone is ringing.) LORELAI: Hey. Oh my God, you have good handwriting. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: You did not get that from me. You got your fabulous flair from me. RORY: I also got my deviated septum from you. LORELAI: Hey, focus on the flair. MICHEL: It's for you. He says he's your father although why he'd volunteer that freely, I do not know. LORELAI: My father? MICHEL: Yes. LORELAI: Are you sure? MICHEL: Please just take the phone. LORELAI: (takes phone) Dad? (pause) Yeah it's Lorelai -- who else calls you "Dad"? (pause) Yeah she's right here. Hold on. (to Rory) It's for you. RORY: Thanks. (takes phone) Hello? (pause) Hey Grandpa... (Lorelai watches as Rory moves away.) RORY: That's great. (Mrs. Shales and Drella come into the room.) MRS. SHALES: Jackie wants Samuel Barber, John Cage, and Philip Glass and Jessica wants Shania Twain's "I Feel Like a Woman." DRELLA: I'm not a jukebox. MRS. SHALES: Oh please. DRELLA: Hey, you think I started playing the harp 'cause I thought it would make me cool? You know, finally get me in with the in-crowd? Maybe I'd make for some great happy hour conversation. No, alright. The music drives me, lady. I will play what I feel and you will love it. MRS. SHALES: I'll give you an extra $100. DRELLA: You just got yourself a jukebox. (They walk away. Lorelai is still watching Rory talk on the phone.) RORY: Yeah, yeah, I'd love to see it. (pause) No, if you want to. (pause) Sure. That sounds good. (pause) Yeah. (Cut to Lorelai's house. She and Rory are sitting outside. Rory is looking in a handheld mirror while Lorelai reads.) LORELAI: Should I leave you two alone? RORY: I think I want to change my hair. LORELAI: Really? I think it looks quite good. RORY: You're funny. Do you want something to drink? LORELAI: Oh, yeah, water. (Rory goes inside.) LORELAI: So you talk to Grandpa today? RORY: What? LORELAI: Grandpa -- he called? RORY: Yep. LORELAI: Anything wrong? (Rory returns to the porch.) RORY: No. He just found this book we were talking about. LORELAI: Oh. And he just called to tell you? RORY: Yeah, why? LORELAI: Nothing. It's just weird. He doesn't call the inn that much. Or ever, actually. RORY: Well he knew that I was looking for it, so -- LORELAI: Oh, sure. What book was it? RORY: Mencken's "Chrestomathy" LORELAI: Oh, that one. RORY: Yeah. (Babette comes running up on the porch.) BABETTE: Hey! Cinnamon is stuck under the front porch again. Can I borrow some vegetable oil and a shoehorn? RORY: I'll get it. (leaves) BABETTE: I'm callin' him and I'm callin' him and I go around the porch and this big orange tush is just starin' me in the face. LORELAI: I hate when that happens. BABETTE: Yeah. He must've been meowin' for an hour but Morey was playing some Thelonious on the Steinway and when Morey plays I go into this trance where all I can see is blue and moon and stars -- (They hear a loud angry meow.) MOREY: He's out Babs! BABETTE: Oh! Never mind, Sugar. (calls to Morey) Play me home, baby! (Piano music starts. Babette gets up to go home.) LORELAI: Bye. BABETTE: Oh God! It's klling me! (Rory comes back out with vegetable oil.) RORY: Babette didn't take her oil. LORELAI: Oh, keep it. Christmas is early this year. So you know what I was thinking? RORY: That Madonna and Sean Penn should get remarried? LORELAI: Besides that. I was thinking that your golfing expedition should totally count as a dinner. RORY: What do you mean? LORELAI: I mean I think I can get us out of dinner at the grandparents' on Friday. Maybe we could grab a movie. RORY: Oh, well, that's OK. LORELAI: It's no big deal, really. RORY: No. It's just gonna get Grandma all freaked out. LORELAI: Yeah but I can handle those freakouts. I've done that. RORY: You know, I have to get the book from Grandpa anyway. Let's just go. LORELAI: Oh. All right. If you really want to. RORY: I do. LORELAI: OK, fine. Is that my sweater? RORY: What? LORELAI: You're wearing my sweater. RORY: So? LORELAI: No, it's OK. It's just I thought I asked you to at least ask, you know, before you borrow my stuff. RORY: I'm sorry. LORELAI: It's OK. It's just not too much for a simple "Can I borrow it, Mom?" is it? RORY: No, it's not. Jeez, lighten up. LORELAI: It's my favorite sweater too. RORY: Since when? LORELAI: Since always. RORY: This is not your favorite sweater. LORELAI: Yes it is and now it's going to be all stretched out just like everything else you borrow. RORY: What are you talking about? LORELAI: I'm talking about that you take my sweaters and you wear them and you stretch them out. RORY: I couldn't possibly stretch them out! Your boobs are way bigger than mine. LORELAI: That is not true. RORY: Yes it is. LORELAI: Your boobs are totally bigger than mine! RORY: You're crazy! LORELAI: Do you want to measure? RORY: What? LORELAI: I'm serious. Why don't you get the measuring tape right now? RORY: I am not going to measure my boobs. LORELAI: Because you know that you are totally bigger. RORY: I'm going inside. LORELAI: Fine, don't measure. We'll just compare bras. RORY:Stop it! LORELAI: I'll stop when you quit stealing my stuff. RORY: You're cracked! LORELAI: You're...bigger. (Rory takes her books and slams the door as she goes inside.) (Cut to Lorelai and Sookie walking down the street.) LORELAI: "Your boobs are bigger than mine"? I'm a mental case. SOOKIE: So apologize. LORELAI: I was too mad and stupid to apologize last night and she was gone before I got up this morning. What is wrong with me? SOOKIE: You're very possessive of your sweaters. LORELAI: Sookie. SOOKIE: No, I understand. I'm the same way. If somebody breathes too hard on my paring Knfe I'm like a crazy spider monkey. LORELAI: It's not about the sweater. It's about the golfing thing and the liking it thing. She had fun, Sookie. Just like my mother said she would. SOOKIE: Yeah, that's got to hurt. LORELAI: She should have fun. I mean, I want her to have a good relationship with her grandparents. Just because I don't doesn't mean she shouldn't, right? SOOKIE: Right. LORELAI: Right. So then why was I trying to get her out of Friday night dinner? I mean, what am I trying to do -- undermine their relationship? SOOKIE: No you weren't. LORELAI: Yes I was. SOOKIE: Yes you were. LORELAI: Yes! I'm four years old! SOOKIE: You're jealous. LORELAI: Oh I'm not jealous. SOOKIE: Yeah, you are. You're jealous 'cause they like Rory better than you. LORELAI: Oh thank you for the hug. SOOKIE: See, I'm bad at advice talks. Could we talk about soup? 'Cause I'm good with soup. LORELAI: Oh I'm sorry. You're fine. I'm all mixed up. I left that life, you know, the club, my parents. I ran from it as soon as I could. It just -- it never occurred to me that she might want it. It occurred to my mother though. God, I hate that she was right. SOOKIE: You don't know that she -- ooh! Oh my God! (Sookie spots something across the street. Without looking to see if any cars are coming she crosses the street, causing a guy to fall off his bike to avoid hitting her.) BIKE GUY: Hey, watch it! LORELAI: Oh! Aah! (to Bike Guy) Are you OK? OK. (Lorelai looks both ways before crossing the street to catch up to Sookie.) SOOKIE: (to strawberries) Look at you! You're beautiful! LORELAI: I have to be more adult about this. I mean, if the country club life is what she wants, more power to her, right? You know, little white gloves and coming-out parties. That makes some girls happy, right? SOOKIE: (while admiring the strawberries) Sure, yeah. If they're on Prozac, absolutely. LORELAI: I just never thought that I'd raise that kind of kid, you know? I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that kind of kid. I just never thought that was Rory. Maybe it's not. I don't know. Am I obsessing? Sookie? Hello? Do I have to put on my strawberry costume to get your full attention? SOOKIE: No, I'm sorry. You have a strawberry costume? (Jackson walks by and sees Sookie) JACKSON: Unbelievable! SOOKIE: Jackson! JACKSON: So this is what we've come to? You sneaking around behind my back buying somebody else's strawberries? SOOKIE: I was desperate! JACKSON: You disgust me! SOOKIE: I needed the strawberries! JACKSON: Well now you have 'em. I hope you're happy together. SOOKIE: Jackson -- wait! JACKSON: No! (Jackson walks away. Sookie follows him.) SOOKIE: Come on Jackson. JACKSON: No. SOOKIE: Jackson, we can talk about it. JACKSON: No. SOOKIE: Jackson, get back here! JACKSON: Get away from me! (Sookie chases him down the middle of the street where they almost get ht by a car.) (Cut to the wedding reception at the inn. Everyone is dancing. Mrs. Shales hugs Lorelai.) MRS. SHALES: We did it! LORELAI: We sure did. MRS. SHALES: God, I feel wonderful. LORELAI: I'm so glad it turned out the way you wanted it. MRS. SHALES: Oh, you have no idea. They just told me they're going to share a condo in Tuscon. Arizona! That's hundreds of miles away! LORELAI: Congratulations. MRS. SHALES: Oh, thank you. Sister Sledge! Excuse me. (Mrs. Shales runs off to dance. Lorelai walks over to where Rory is sitting with the guestbook.) LORELAI: Hey, stranger. RORY: Hey. LORELAI: Good turnout? RORY: Yep. LORELAI: Do you want something to drink? RORY: Are you trying to make up? LORELAI: No, I'm trying to hydrate you. RORY: I'm fine, thanks. LORELAI: I'm sorry. RORY: It's OK. LORELAI: A crazy evil spirit obsessed with bra size took over my body. RORY: It happens. LORELAI: She's gone now. RORY: Good to know. LORELAI: You know, I'm glad you're bonding with your grandparents. RORY: No you're not. LORELAI: Yes I am. It's just weird for me is all. I just can't relate to it. RORY: You could if you tried. LORELAI: No, we're too -- too much has happened and I'm glad you are anyway. RORY: OK. LORELAI: I didn't mean to cut you off from them so completely, you know. It just happened. Not having them in my life just felt so right. I just never thought -- I'm sorry. IRATE MOTHER: (to her daughter) I did not pay $500 for this dress so you could run around and mess it up. Now you sit and be still. Cross your legs. You're a lady. LORELAI: God, I must have had a million dresses like that when I was a kid. RORY: It doesn't really scream "you." LORELAI: No. I did all the screaming. RORY: Thank you for not putting me in a dress like that. LORELAI: You're welcome. Of course wearing those dresses -- not all bad. RORY: No? LORELAI: Oh no. They really fly up when you twirl around. RORY: Huh. LORELAI: And if you're wearing that ruffled underwear -- big crowd pleaser. RORY: If it makes you feel better, I think I got a fungus from the steam room. LORELAI: It does. Thank you. (Cut to Emily and Richard's house. Rory and Lorelai are just arriving.) EMILY: Oh, good, you're here. LORELAI: Hey. RORY: Hi, Grandma. EMILY: My goodnes, what is that? LORELAI: We brought dessert. EMILY: Really? How thoughtful. What is it? LORELAI: Blueberry shortcake. EMILY: I've never heard of blueberry shortcake. LORELAI: Yeah, it's a Stars Hollow specialty. EMILY: Why is it already cut? LORELAI: It's left over. From the wedding. At the inn. EMILY: Yes, I know where the wedding was. LORELAI: Oh, sorry. You were just doing that staring thing. EMILY: You brought us used dessert? LORELAI: It's not used. It's left over. EMILY: How nice. I'll just put it in the kitchen next to my half-empty box of Cheer. LORELAI: (whispers to Rory) She's in a good mood tonight. EMILY: Can I get you a drink? LORELAI: Uh, white wine would be nice. RORY: Coke. EMILY: So, Lorelai, did Rory tell you all about the wonderful time she had at the club? LORELAI: She sure did. EMILY: Your father was simply flying all week. She really charmed him. LORELAI: Ah, well, if anybody could, it would be her. EMILY: I mean, in this age of MTV and 100 television channels who would've imagined that a young girl coul still get a thrill spending a simple afternoon with her grandfather? LORELAI: That wine would be real good right now, Mom. EMILY: I think we should consider getting her a membership at the club, don't you? LORELAI: If she wants, sure. EMILY: I mean, to have a place to go where she can socialize, that's very important to a young girl. LORELAI: Well, now especially that the crack den is closed down on the corner all her really good friends are gone. What do you think, Mom, should I pursue the career in comedy? EMILY: It's just very interesting the way things turn out, isn't it? (Richard comes in.) RICHARD: Oh, you're here. Lorelai. LORELAI: Dad. RICHARD: Rory, I have a surprise. Not only did I find that copy of Mencken's "Chrestomathy" we discussed, I also found a first edition of his memoirs as well. RORY: You're kidding? RICHARD: It's in my office if you'd like to see them. RORY: Oh my God, I totally would. EMIL:Y I'd like to take a look at those myself. (They leave Lorelai sitting alone in the room.) The End	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x03 - k*ll Me Now"}	foreverdreaming
The Deer-Hunters CUT TO RORY AND LORELAI WALKING ACROSS THE STREET. LORELAI: Shopping for school supplies - party. RORY: Nobody demanded that you come. LORELAI: Are you kidding? How of ten do you get to do things like this? I was thinking, while we're going crazy, we should get some toilet paper and a plunger next. RORY: I'll just do this later. LORELAI: No, I'm teasing. Come on, get that list of your. RORY: Ok [puts out a list] I need legal pads, LORELAI: Got it. RORY: Tons of pens, LORELAI: Right. RORY: Some number 2 pencils, three highlighters, an eraser a staple remover and a folder. LORELAI: You need 3 highlighters? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: Three? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: That's a very random number. RORY: Three is not a random number. LORELAI: No but I mean how did you get to the number 3? RORY: One dries up, one gets lost, I have one left. LORELAI: You have really thought this out. RORY: Yes, I have. LORELAI: What came first - the chicken or the egg. RORY: Can we get back to this list please. LORELAI: Alright. Ooh, hey, legal pads. RORY: No. Those are purple. LORELAI: Yes, purple is festive. RORY: I can't have purple LORELAI: Yes you can, they're on sale. RORY: I'm going to a serious school now, I need serious paper. LORELAI: Paper's paper. RORY: Not at Chilton. LORELAI: Alright, fine. Here is your serious paper. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: Ooh and here are you somber highlighters, your maudlin pencils, your manic-depressive pens. RORY: Mom LORELAI: Now these erasers are on lithium so they may seem cheerful but we actually caught them trying to shove themselves in the pencil sharpener earlier. RORY: I'm going home now. LORELAI: No wait! We're going to stage an intervention with the neon post-its and make them give up their wacky crazy ways. RORY: You're never coming shopping with me again. LORELAI: Ooh here's a card tray - [fades into intro] CUT TO BUS OUTSIDE CHILTON [Rory gets off the bus with bags, runs back into the bus for two more bags, then runs back into the bus a third time for another two. CUT TO MR. MEDINA'S CLASSROOM MAX: Decent effort by most [handing back tests] Good effort by some, exceptional effort by two. Miss Geller, Miss Grant. Ms. Graham. Miss Gilmore [ hands Rory her paper with a D'] Take these home, learn from your mistakes. Look at the large red circles around various parts of your paper as friendly reminders that to err is human. And that here at Chilton we try to bat that humanity right outta ya! Ok, next up. The test - the dreaded test. Shakespeare! The man we've been droning on about for the last three weeks, finally comes back to haunt us on Friday. This is a big one my friends - multiple choice with an essay section that will count for 20% of your grade for this semester. And don't be fooled by my kind face and charming personality. This test will be hard, and there will be no makeups. [bell rings] Refer to the study materials that I gave you at the beginning of the month and those extensive notes I know you've been taking. PARIS: Hard paper. LOUISE: kller. PARIS: How'd you do? LOUISE: A' PARIS: Me too. LOUISE: Oh small world. PARIS: Isn't it? Madeline what'd you get? MADELINE: You know I got a B' PARIS: A B's not bad. LOUISE: Oh not at all. PARIS: Respectable even LOUISE: I'd be proud. PARIS: A D' however, that would be cause for concern. LOUISE: A cry for help. PARIS: A job application at McDonald's. LOUISE: Would you like fries with that? PARIS: Hey, you know, not everybody can be smart. As my mother always says, somebody has to answer the phones. MADELINE: Ok, I have no idea what you two are talking about. PARIS: No, but Rory does. [as the three go in another direction] TRISTAN: Hey Mary. RORY: And it just keeps getting better. TRISTAN: Oh you look sad. RORY: I'm fine. TRISTAN: Bad grade? RORY: I have to go. TRISTAN: You know what Mary, [stopping her] see I can't figure out why we're not friends. I think it's because I make you nervous. RORY: I think it's because you can't learn my name. TRISTAN: Do you have a boyfriend? RORY: None of your business. TRISTAN: Is that a no'? RORY: Is there no one else at this school you can bother? TRISTAN: See, I think you like me, you just don't know how to say it. RORY: Oh boy. TRISTAN: What are you doing Friday night? RORY: I'm busy. TRISTAN: What, you gotta be back at the convent by 5. RORY: Please leave me alone. TRISTAN: Well...since you said please [steps aside] Later...Mary. CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN [Drella runs her harp into Michel.] MICHEL: Aah! You imbecil! DRELLA: Back off chevalier. MICHEL: You're stupid, blind and clumsy. DRELLA: Well at least I'm not French. LORELAI: Hey, what's going on? MICHEL: She ran over my shoe. DRELLA: He got in the way. MICHEL: You aimed for me. DRELLA: Yeah well. LORELAI: Ok, hold on. MICHEL: She scratched my shoes. DRELLA: What a baby. MICHEL: These are $300 Italian loafers. DRELLA: Wonder if Versace makes a pacifier. MICHEL: You're fired. LORELAI: Excuse me? DRELLA: You can't fre me. MICHEL: Then I dock your pay. LORELAI: Alright. MICHEL: Can I kll her. LORELAI: Not before high tea. MICHEL: Fine, then I will curse you constantly and in several languages. DRELLA: Going for the other foot. LORELAI: Oh no! Drella, to your corner now [Drella leaves] MICHEL: I win. LORELAI: Michel you're a grown man, now go to your desk and act like one. [Lorelai rfles through mail] LORELAI: Oh my God! [goes to kitchen] LORELAI: Sookie, Sookie. SOOKIE: Ok, ok, just a minute. LORELAI: I've got it. SOOKIE: The review? LORELAI: It's here. SOOKIE: Ooh, where it is? LORELAI: I'm looking. [Rory enters with tons of bags] LORELAI: Oh, behold in theaters now, the thing that reads a lot [Rory drops all the bags at once] RORY: Chocolate? SOOKIE: Glass measuring cup. Lorelai look, look. LORELAI: I'm sorry. RORY: Jeez, who's naked? LORELAI: Uh, Lucent Mills - food critic. RORY: Yeah? How's his butt? LORELAI: Oh, no. He's supposed to do a review of the restaurant - oh, here it is. SOOKIE: Is it - its it good? Is he mean, should I cry? LORELAI: Here we go. The words divine, delectable and delirious don't begin to describe the delicious experience of dining at the Independence Inn.' Oh I'm smelling rave! SOOKIE: Really? LORELAI: Only chef Sookie St. James can make a simple salad of hot house tomatoes and assorted fresh herbs seem like a religious experience. Her lobster bisque is worth every sinful cream filled rich sip' SOOKIE: See I don't use that much cream. I just use a very concentrated lobster stock and it really makes it - LORELAI: Sookie, he's not here. SOOKIE: Ok, go on. LORELAI: The entrees are as heavenly as the starters. Though the much lauded risotto was perfectly fine, it was the simple handkerchief pasta with brown sage in a butter sauce that sent me through the roof' Sookie this is unbelievable! I'm going to have this framed for the dining room! SOOKIE: Oh, yeah. That'd be swell. Can I see that again? LORELAI: Yeah. So we should celebrate huh? [doing a little twisty dance step towards Rory] Girls on the town? RORY: I can't. I have to study. SOOKIE: You know I should really get started on this shopping list. LORELAI: What is going on here? We are young and fiery women. Studying? Shopping lists? Where's to hell with it all'? Where's Throwing caution to the wind'? Where's - oh sht - the linen delivery [leaves] RORY: You go girl. CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE LORELAI: News is on. RORY: One sec. LORELAI: [to herself]For our top story tonight, a grisly horrible thing that happened in a small town where not grisly horrible things ever happen. Everyone's shocked. House slides down hill. Liposuction kills, stay fat. [turns off tv] Hey let's get ice cream. I'm bored. [goes into kitchen where Rory is studying] Hello? RORY: Mom, I'm studying. LORELAI: Yeah, but I'm talking ice cream. Can't you take a break? RORY: I can't take a break right now. LORELAI: Ok, when? RORY: Are you four? LORELAI: No, I'm hungry! RORY: Have some more pizza. LORELAI: It's cold. RORY: Heat it up. LORELAI: It's not the same. RORY: Lorelai go to your room! LORELAI: Wow, smart girls are mean. RORY: If you let me study now, I'll play with you this weekend. LORELAI: Promise. RORY: Yes, we can do anything you want. LORELAI: Will you go to the shoe sale with me. RORY: Yes. LORELAI: Will you let me try on anything I want. RORY: Yes. LORELAI: Will you help me push other people out of the way if they're going for my size? RORY: I'll even run interference for you. LORELAI: Alright, you've got a deal. [leaves kitchen] RORY: Good. LORELAI: [comes back in] So - I'm sorry - where did we land on the whole ice cream issue? [Rory gets up and goes to her room] LORELAI: What? CUT TO RORY ON HER WAY TO LANE'S [enters house] RORY: Lane?! LANE: Rory?! RORY: Right or left?! LANE: Left! [Rory goes left] RORY: I thought you said left! LANE: Sorry - my left, your right! RORY: Ok. Marco... LANE: Polo! RORY: Marco LANE: Polo! RORY: Hey Marco. LANE: Hey Polo, you're late. RORY: Sorry. What is that? LANE: 12 calories. RORY: Here [gives her a snickers] LANE: Oh my God bless you! [Rory pulls out a big binder] LANE: Man, what's that? RORY: My notes. LANE: Really? RORY: I don't think Shakespeare knew himself this well WOMAN: Ooh, I like, how much? MRS. KIM: $500 WOMAN: Is that the best you can do? MRS. KIM: $450 WOMAN: I'm not so sure [turns to leave] MRS. KIM: $375 and you take it right now. WOMAN: Sold MRS. KIM: We appreciate your business. [to girls] Move. RORY: [as they pack up their books] I really miss Stars Hollow High. LANE: You're kidding right? RORY: No. Chilton's just - I don't know, hard. LANE: What do you care? You were always miss everything-so-easy-at-school. This should be a snap for you. [They start to put their books down on a table] MRS. KIM: No, this is sold. Move. What's that? [at snickers] RORY: Oh, that's mine. MRS. KIM: That is chocolate covered death. RORY: With a creamy caramel surprise. [they move again] LANE: Um, so this guy asked about you today. RORY: What guy? LANE: The new kid - tall, perfect. RORY: What'd he want to know? LANE: Where you were. RORY: Well what'd you say? LANE: Oh I told him you were just too smart for us and that you had to go to the genius school. RORY: Oh. LANE: He really like that. I guess he must be into brainy chicks. RORY: Well I'll keep my eyes open for one for him. [putting stuff down on another table] MRS. KIM: No - sold. LANE: Mom. MRS. KIM: Move. LANE: Well where do you want us to go? MRS. KIM: Library. LANE: I hate sales! CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN [Drella is playing the harp] LORELAI: No Black Sabbath. DRELLA: No one is listening. LORELAI: No Black Sabbath, no Steely Dan, no Boston and no Queen. DRELLA: What happened to make you so cold? LORELAI: We like that Mozart [heads towards the kitchen.] DRELLA: I am the Artie Shaw of harpists. [Lorelai enters kitchen] LORELAI: Sookie, I need coffee to go. SOOKIE: [holding her head in her hands] There's fresh over there. LORELAI: Ooh, good. [picks up an empty pot] Fresh in my first lifetime as Joan of Arc. SOOKIE: Oh sorry. I thought I made fresh. Here. [pours water] LORELAI: Bless you. I'm so exhausted and I have to drive into Hartford tonight to go to a parent/teacher meeting. SOOKIE: [sadly] Sounds great. LORELAI: Yeah. This school is so different from Stars Hollow you know. They send home like a thousand pages of updates every week. It's a very intense place. SOOKIE: Uh - huh. LORELAI: Last week there was a huge debate over whether plaid scrunchies were acceptable head wear. People took sides, things got ugly, the scrunchie motion finally passed and I'd like to think I was the tie breaker. SOOKIE: That's nice. LORELAI: Hey, what's the matter sweetie? SOOKIE: He said it was fine. LORELAI: Who said it was fine. SOOKIE: Lucent Mills. LORELAI: The restaurant critic. SOOKIE: He said my risotto was fine. LORELAI: Well isn't it? SOOKIE: No it's not fine. Fine is a word you use when someone stops you on the street that you sort of know but you don't wanna talk to, so they ask you how you are and you say fine and that's just enough so they don't have to keep talking because they don't want to. And then they can feel good about themselves because they've been considerate enough to ask and then if God forbid something actually is wrong they'll actually sit down and take the time to listen, even though they don't want to. LORELAI: Sweetie, I don't think he meant fine' as a slam or as a monologue. SOOKIE: He couldn't have meant it any other way. LORELAI: Sookie, I hate to see you get so upset over one little review. SOOKIE: This is pride Lorelai. I mean you know about this risotto. I mean on my mother's deathbed - LORELAI: You made the risotto and she lived three more years. SOOKIE: She was supposed to be dad. The doctor said she wouldn't make it through the night. LORELAI: And she lived because of the risotto - the magic risotto. SOOKIE: And this guy had the nerve to say it was fine' LORELAI: I don't think he knew the story. SOOKIE: Urgh! [Jackson comes in] JACKSON: Ok, now before you get all goofy on me, I don't have your procini's. I forgot them. I don't have any other excuse other than plain old stupid human error. And I have the morels, which I know you don't want. So come on - let me have it. SOOKIE: Morels are fine. JACKSON: [putting box down] Did anyone else feel the shift in the space-time continuum? LORELAI: A reviewer didn't like the risotto. JACKSON: The magic risotto? You're kidding. LORELAI: Well, I gotta go, so try and cheer her up would you? JACKSON: Uh sure. LORELAI: [to Sookie] Sweetie please don't worry about it. Everyone knows you're the best. JACKSON: So, I hear the huckleberry crops are gonna totally suck this year! [Sookie just looks at him.] CUT TO CHILTON MAX: We are gonna be focusing on Elizabethan literature. Shakespeare, Marlowe, Bacon, Ben Jonson, John Webster - DAD #1: Yeah, is Marlowe really that significant? MAX: Well we wanna give as complete an overview as possible. MOM #1: Yes but will he be included on the Advance Placement test? MAX: Well we can't know exactly what will be on the AP test, but it will definitely be important for future studies when your kids ht their universities. DAD #1: But to get there, they need to pass the AP test. MAX: Right, well it's all important and it could all be on the test. MOM #2: How do we find out? MAX: Well you can bribe somebody on the AP committee [parents start to discuss amongst themselves] MAX: I was just kidding. I'm just kidding. [Lorelai enters] LORELAI: I'm so sorry. I had this terrible pot hole incident. And - you don't care. Please go on. [walks into globe] MAX: Whoa, whoa. LORELAI: What in the world? [attempt at a joke that no one laughs at] MAX: You ok? LORELAI: Uh huh. I'll just sit now. MAX: I don't think we've met. LORELAI: Oh, I'm Lorelai Gilmore - Rory's mom. MAX: Glad you could join us. [to parents] Rory is one of our new students. MOM #1: How nice. Now the AP test - MAX: Right well, we are preparing them as best we can [Lorelai serving herself some coffee] MOM: I've hired a tutor for Bethany. MAX: Always a valid option. LORELAI: Mmm. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and a camel [whispers] This is really bad coffee. [louder] So this AP test, what are we going to do about it huh? MAX: Well the next test is scheduled for next month, um, the 25th, Saturday at 7:00 am. [Lorelai raises her hand] Ms. Gilmore? LORELAI: Uh, where is the test? MAX: It will be given here. LORELAI: Here. MAX: Right. LORELAI: Great. MAX: Great, any other questions? LORELAI: Yeah, um, can parents come? MOM #1: What?! LORELAI: Yeah, it's a big exciting test. I just thought - I'm sorry is that stupid? MAX: No it's not stupid. LORELAI: I just thought I'd like to see the excitement. DAD #2: It's a test. LORELAI: Yeah I know. DAD #2: What's exciting about a test? LORELAI: Do you play golf? DAD #2: Yes I do. LORELAI: You explain yours, I'll explain mine. MAX: Ok, why don't we get back to the meeting. MOM #1 [to Mom #2] That's the one who voted for the scrunchies. MOM #2: Must be a scholarship student. LORELAI: Um excuse me - MAX: You know, I think this would be a good time for a break. There's coffee in the back. [Lorelai stand up by the black board] MAX: What were you gonna do - ht her? LORELAI: No, I just - I had some good verbal comebacks ready. [sips coffee] LORELAI: It - it just keeps getting worse. MAX: Well you know not drinking it is always an option. LORELAI: Not in my world. MAX: I'm Max Medina. LORELAI: Nice to meet you. MAX: I apologize for the behaviors of some of our guests tonight. It's a tense time for some people. LORELAI: The SAT season? MAX: The waking hours. [Lorelai giggles] LORELAI: Hey, are you this nice to my kid? MAX: Yeah, it's easy. Rory's a sweet girl. LORELAI: Yeah she is, she is. MAX: [pulling her aside] How is she liking Chilton? LORELAI: Oh, she loves it. MAX: Really? LORELAI: Oh yeah. I mean it's an adjustment of course, but she's always wanted to go to Harvard and this is how she'll get there. MAX: Harvard? LORELAI: Yeah. Ever since she could crawl, I've really wanted her to go there. MAX: It's a great school. LORELAI: I actually bought her a Harvard sweatshirt when she was 4, which of course was way too big for her, so she used it as a blanket for a while and then as a make shift diaper on this really ill-fated shopping trip and now I've told you a story that would so mortify her, she'll kll me when she finds out you know. MAX: Don't tell her then. It'll be our secret. LORELAI: Well I appreciate that. MAX: So are you a B-52's girl? LORELAI: What? [looks at her shirt and giggles] No, I'm a klutz girl who should not drive with a coffee in her hand. I, uh, had it in the car. MAX: You know I hope Rory adjust to this place. We need her here. LORELAI: Thank you. That's so nice. MAX: And I hope she's not too disappointed about her paper. Because it's very hard to catch up on all that reading material. I know a D' seems pretty dismal - LORELAI: Rory got a D'? MAX: Yeah, but - LORELAI: She's never gotten a D'. MAX: It's the first paper she's had to turn in, she's bound to falter a little. LORELAI: Oh man, this totally explains the no ice cream' thing. God I'm such and idiot! MAX: The ice cream thing? LORELAI: Look, I-I've gotta go. MAX: Well I'm sorry if I've said something to offend you. LORELAI: Oh no-no-no-no. It's just that if Rory got a D', she's not feeling too good right now and I'd really like to be there. MAX: I understand. LORELAI: So, it was nice meeting you. MAX: You too. LORELAI: Um, keep up the good work. MAX: I will. LORELAI: Don't ever make coffee ever again. MAX: I won't I promise. Oh - [Lorelai almost walks into globe again.] LORELAI: Oh, ha ha ha. Thanks. [grabs purse] Bye. MAX: Bye. CUT TO LUKE'S [Rory's sitting at a table, tries to write but the tip of her pencil breaks. She throws it in frustration.] LUKE: Here. RORY: What's that? LUKE: You look like you need pie. RORY: I do? LUKE: Violent pencil tossing usually signals the need for pie. RORY: What if I'd thrown a pen? LUKE: I would've brought you a trout. RORY: What? LUKE: I don't make the rules, I just carry them out. [Lorelai comes in] LORELAI: Hey, Backwards baseball hat - new look for you. [looks at Rory] She's eating pie? Did she even have dinner? LUKE: You raised her, I just serve. [Lorelai goes and sits with Rory] LORELAI: Oh hello, bookworm. RORY: Finally, where were you? LORELAI: Well, um, actually I was in Hartford. RORY: Why? LORELAI: I was there for the... [signals Rory to finish the sentence] RORY: Parent/teacher meeting. Oh, my God. I forgot. LORELAI: It went very well. I was extremely charming. I won the whole crowd over. They made me queen. RORY: So I guess you talked to Mr. Medina. LORELAI: Mm-hm. Why did you let me whine about ice cream and shoe sales when you had something major going on? RORY: I know. LORELAI: I hate when I'm an idiot and I don't even know it. I like to be aware of my idiocy - to really revel in it, take pictures. I feel we missed a prime Christmas card opportunity. RORY: I'm sorry. LORELAI: You should've told me. RORY: I couldn't. LORELAI: You couldn't tell me? You tell me everything. RORY: It was too humiliating. LORELAI: Oh, honey, you once told me that you loved Saved by the Bell'. What could be more humiliating than that.? RORY: I couldn't form the words. I couldn't even say it. I couldn't even comprehend it. It was a D'. I got a D', I've never gotten a D' - ever. LORELAI: I know. RORY: Even when I broke my arm and couldn't write for a month, I still got an A- LORELAI: That was a different school. RORY: I know. It was Stars Hollow High. A D' at Stars Hollow is like an F' at Chilton. It's worse, it's like a G' or a W'. LORELAI: So I'm guessing the spelling test didn't go well either? RORY: A D'. I suck. LORELAI: You don't suck. RORY: I can't do this. LORELAI: Listen, a D' is bad, ok. But all this talk about I suck' and I can't do this' and self pity - that's worse. That's not you. You didn't feel sorry for yourself when it took you three months to learn how to ride a bike, and you won't now. RORY: Four months. LORELAI: Huh? RORY: It took me four months LORELAI: Really? Four months? RORY: Yeah, you wanna belabor the conversation? LORELAI: Alright, forget about the bike. Listen, a D' is one grade. It's not the end of the world. You'll catch up, you'll do better. You are of hardy stubborn stock, my dear. If there's one thing I gave you, it's my stubbornness. RORY: I'm not stubborn. LORELAI: Yes you are. RORY: No I'm not. LORELAI: Fine you're not. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: You're welcome. You can do this Rory and I will help you. I will get you through this, now put that D' behind you. Now what's next? RORY: I have a test on Friday. LORELAI: Ooh a test! Great! RORY: It's on Shakespeare. LORELAI: Bard with a beard - love it! RORY: It's worth 20% of my grade. LORELAI: Just makes life interesting. Now what do we have to do to get you an A' on that test. RORY: Do you really think I can do this? LORELAI: I bet you a dollar. RORY: That's it? That's all my future's worth - one dollar. LORELAI: Well you did get a D'. [Rory chuckles] CUT TO CHILTON [Rory is sitting on a bench reading. Paris comes up behind her] PARIS: Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments, love is not love which alters when it alterations finds or bends with the remover to remove - oh no! It is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken. It is the star to every wandering bark who worth's unknown although his height be taken' You're going down. CUT TO INN KITCHEN. LORELAI: Hey, Sookie, do you know what the menu's gonna be - [ Sookie shoves risotto into her mouth] SOOKIE: Good? LORELAI: Hot. SOOKIE: Wait, I got another one [shoves more into Lorelai's mouth.] Better? LORELAI: Hotter! SOOKIE: Wait, I got one more - one more [shoves more into her mouth again] LORELAI: Sookie! What's with all the risotto? Have we gone theme' now? Ooh, is it gonna be like the scotch tape store? SOOKIE: Look, I've made 40 recipes, ok, 40. And every single time I come back to the same conclusion. LORELAI: That you're is better? SOOKIE: Yes! LORELAI: It is! [Waiter, Brian, comes into the kitchen.] BRIAN: You were looking for me? SOOKIE: Yes, great! Three weeks ago, guy comes in, Lucent Mills, orders the risotto, doesn't like it. BRIAN: The magic risotto? You're kidding. LORELAI: Not helping. SOOKIE: He's a restaurant critic. He ordered lots of things - probably didn't finish them. Now in his review he said his waiter had a goatee. Now you've got a goatee, and so you waited on him and I need info. BRIAN: Well what did he look like? SOOKIE: Like he's unhappy with the risotto! Or maybe he had an annoying table companion with him that wouldn't let him concentrate on what he was eating. BRIAN: Well I serve a lot of people. SOOKIE: He had a beard, or false teeth, or wig, or those glasses with a big nose. BRIAN: [to Lorelai] May I be fired now? LORELAI: Absolutely. [Brian leaves, Sookie follows] SOOKIE: What about a guy with an annoying companion and a fake wig who was sitting underneath an air conditioning vent next to a woman with too much perfume on?!? CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE LORELAI: The Comedy of Errors' - written? RORY: 1590 LORELAI: Published? RORY: 1698 LORELAI: Ooh 1623 - close RORY: How is 1623 close? LORELAI: You got the 16' part right. RORY: I was off by 75 years LORELAI: Well anything under 100 years is close. RORY: What kind of rule is that? LORELAI: I'm running the study session here. Ok. Richard III? RORY: 1591 LORELAI: [Makes buzzer sound] RORY: '93? LORELAI: [Makes buzzer sound] RORY: '96? LORELAI: [Makes buzzer sound] RORY: Ok, that's getting really annoying now LORELAI: [Makes small buzzer sound] [Pan to later the save evening] [Lorelai comes into living room with coffee] LORELAI: Go on, I'm listening. RORY: The sonnets are 154 poems of 14 lines LORELAI: Except? RORY: Except for 126 which is 12 lines. LORELAI: Good. RORY: They are written in iambic pentameter. LORELAI: Except? RORY: Except 145 which is in tetrameter. LORELAI: Rock on sister. RORY: Really? LORELAI: Not one mistake. RORY: Wow. LORELAI: How do you feel? RORY: Nauseous. LORELAI: Yeah well, I don't think the fries and the horseradish sauce was the best idea we ever had. RORY: It was satisfying in the moment though LORELAI: I think you're going to blow that class away tomorrow. RORY: You think? LORELAI: I think. What do you say we call it a night and get some beauty sleep? RORY: You go, I wanna review my notes one more time. LORELAI: Oh that's ok, I'll stay up. RORY: [ as she goes into the kitchen] Mom, go to sleep. LORELAI: No, I'm not even tired. I was just thinking of you. [Pan to later that night, Rory goes into the living room and finds Lorelai asleep on the couch. She covers her with a blanket and goes back to the kitchen. Later that night, Lorelai wakes up and goes into the kitchen to find Rory asleep at the table. She sits down and puts the blanket around Rory as well and falls asleep as well.] [Pan to morning] RORY: No! Oh no! [Rory runs into her room] LORELAI: Oh jeez [lifting her head] Such a bad sleeping idea. RORY: I'm late! LORELAI: What? RORY: I'm late, I'm late. I woke up late! LORELAI: Rory calm down. RORY: I can't calm down! I missed my bus! Get up. LORELAI: Sweetie, mommy can't get up right now. Mommy's been sleeping at a right angle all night. RORY: I'm gonna miss the test! [comes out with her uniform over her t-shirt and jogging pants, putting on her shoes] LORELAI: No you're not [Shoves a binder into Rory's school bag and give it to her] I'll get the keys. We'll go right now. Let's go! Let's go! [grabs her purse] Oh! I can't take you! RORY: You have to! LORELAI: I have a meeting at the inn at 8! RORY: Mom! LORELAI: Ok, wait. Ok. Think, listen. Here, you drive. RORY: What?! LORELAI: Yeah, you drive. I'll get a ride with Sookie. Take the phone, take the keys, go! RORY: Are you sure? LORELAI: Go, go, go, go! RORY: I'm gone! LORELAI: Good luck! CUT TO RORY DRIVING [She stops at a stop sign and calls Lane who's listening to music] LANE: Hello? RORY: Did I leave a set of my notes at your house yesterday? LANE: Where are you? RORY: I'm driving to school. I need to check something and I can't find some of my notes. LANE: Ok, hold on let me check [comes out of her closet and looks around her room] I don't see anything. RORY: What did I do with them? LANE: Well, maybe it's downstairs in the store? RORY: Maybe I just - [loud bang and car moved] RORY: Oh my God! LANE: Are you alright? RORY: I just got ht by a deer. LANE: You ht a deer? RORY: No! I got ht by a deer! LANE: How do you get ht by a deer? RORY: I was at a stop sign and he just ht me! Oh my God! [Getting out to look for deer] LANE: Was it a 4-way stop? RORY: What does that matter? LANE: I don't know. I don't know what to ask after you've been ht by a deer. RORY: I don't see him. LANE: Well put salt down. Deers love salt. RORY: Where am I gonna get salt from? LANE: Do you have a lunch? RORY: Lane? LANE: Sorry. RORY: I don't see him any where. [as she tries to take off her jogging pants] What if he's hurt. LANE: Rory your test RORY: What time is it? LANE: It's 7:40 RORY: No! [runs back to the car with one pant leg on, one off.] CUT TO CHILTON [Rory's running down the hall pulling her socks up, taking out her ponytail ad tucking in her shirt] [Enters classroom] RORY: I'm sorry. MAX: Everyone back to your tests. Miss Gilmore you're gonna have to wait in the library. RORY: But what about the test? MAX: I'm afraid you've missed the test. RORY: No. MAX: We start class promptly at 8:05 RORY: No. MAX: That's when I need people to be in their seats. RORY: Please. MAX: I'm sorry but it's the rules. RORY: But you don't understand! I was up all night studying and then I missed my bus so I had to drive-- MAX: Let's discuss this outside. RORY: So I'm driving down this road and I stop and I get ht by a deer. MAX: You ht a deer? RORY: No I got ht by a deer. You don't believe me? I've got antler prints on the side of my mother's car. MAX: Rory, come on. RORY: No! You have to let me take this test. I'm ready for this test. I know everything there is to know about Shakespeare. MAX: Ok, ok, you have to calm down now. RORY: I know his birthday and his mothers name and that kind of - PARIS: [whispers to Louise] Loser. RORY: [turning around to her] And just what is wrong with you huh?! You already have everything! You already have the grades and the status. What the hell is wrong with you that you have this constant need to be the biggest jerk in the entire world?! MAX: Ok, let's go. RORY: Huh?! What's ?! What's up quippy?! Why so silent? MAX: Outside - now [walks by Tristan who's smiling] RORY: And for the last time - the name's RORY! [storms out.] CUT TO INN LORELAI: Make sure that carpet is replaced perfectly before they go MICHEL: Ok. LORELAI: I mean perfectly. Nailed down and everything. MICHEL: Oh you mean that perfectly. Oh I thought you meant the other perfectly. You know the one that could be misinterpreted by the other Michel. You know the one who couldn't understand what you meant by perfectly. [Lorelai closes book and leaves] DRELLA: Hey what do you think about Pat Benatar? LORELAI: Great idea, can she play the harp? SOOKIE: Whoo! Whoo-hoo! [Sookie is dancing around in the kitchen] I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! [Lorelai comes in] I found it, I found it! LORELAI: You found what? SOOKIE: His bill! I found his bill! LORELAI: What are you talking about? SOOKIE: It wasn't the risotto, it was the wine! He ordered the wrong wine! LORELAI: Oh, well great! SOOKIE: See in the review, he mentioned something about a summer tomato salad which I've only made once in the last 3 weeks because Jackson of course decides to get into a fist fight with his tomato grower - that's a different story. LORELAI: Yes - save it for Christmas time. SOOKIE: So Brian, the goatee waiter, only worked one shift last week because his girlfriend kicked him out and he had to move. LORELAI: Celia kicked him out? SOOKIE: Well, he didn't want kids. LORELAI: But she knew that when they moved in. SOOKIE: Women always think they can change men. LORELAI: Yeah. SOOKIE: So anyhow, I checked the dates, I narrowed the day down and I found a party that had ordered practically everything on the menu including - LORELAI: The magic risotto! SOOKIE: Yes, the risotto and a riesling. Ha! A riesling LORELAI: Why not just drink battery acid. SOOKIE: Exactly! Changes the entire flavor of the dish. And the fact that Brian even served it makes me think Celia is a little bit better off without him. LORELAI: I'm so glad hon, oh! [they hug giggling] [Jackson comes in] JACKSON: Ok, here are the zucchinis [Sookie takes one and looks at it] SOOKIE: Too small, take'em away! JACKSON: Oh, it's good to have her back huh LORELAI: Yeah. JACKSON: Yeah [pause] You're still gonna have to pay for the zucchini [Lorelai smiles. Turns to go as Michel comes in] MICHEL: There is a man with a funny accent on the phone asking for you. LORELAI: Really? Did you guys exchange the secret handshake? [giggles with Jackson] Lorelai here [into the phone] CUT TO CHILTON LORELAI: Rory what happened? RORY: I got ht by a deer. LORELAI: You got what? RORY: And then I was late and they wouldn't let me take the test. LORELAI: [gasps] What?! RORY: They wouldn't let me take the test so I - LORELAI: Oh no you're kidding me? RORY: Mom... LORELAI: No, it's ok. Just sit right here, I'll handle this. [Goes into Headmaster Charleston's office. Pan to inside Headmaster's office] LORELAI: Excuse me. Hello. CHARLESTON: Ms. Gilmore. Please come in. LORELAI: Thank you. CHARLESTON: Have a seat. LORELAI: Um, I think there's been a terrible mistake. Rory told me that she wasn't allowed to take her test. CHARLESTON: She was late. LORELAI: Right, well, see there were circumstances beyond her control. Rory is never late. She's almost annoyingly on time. I think if you checked your records - CHARLESTON: Past performance has nothing to do with today's situation. LORELAI: Ok, but see, she was up all night studying, I was there, she has a witness. CHARLESTON: She's not on trial here. LORELAI: Well your honor [pause] just a little trial humor, that won't happen again. Um, see, she got up late, she broke her neck to get here. We don't like locally as you know. CHARLESTON: The dog at my homework - LORELAI: Excuse me? CHARLESTON: My computer crashed and I lost my midterm. LORELAI: I wasn't making excuses. CHARLESTON: My grandmother and 1st cousin died. My sister took my report to school instead of hers, my religion prohibits studying after sundown. I went blind last night but I'm fine now. LORELAI: That's not Rory. CHARLESTON: [getting up] Ms. Gilmore, rules are rules. When you're late, you forfeit the right to take the test. LORELAI: Where are you going? [to Max] Where is he going? MAX: Lorelai please, believe me if I could do anything I would. LORELAI: Yes, you could let her take the test. MAX: I'm afraid I can't. LORELAI: Well that's not fair. CHARLESTON: Ms. Gilmore, we are not here to be fair, we are here to educate. LORELAI: Yes and I'm asking you to please educate my kid. CHARLESTON: We will, when she's on time. Have a nice day. LORELAI: Are you holding that door open for a reason? CHARLESTON: Our meeting is over. LORELAI: Like hell it is. MAX: Lorelai. LORELAI: Do you have any idea what we have gone through this week? We have been up all night every night studying. We haven't slept. We haven't talked about anything else except this school and this test for seven days. We have stretched ourselves as thin as humanly possible without going completely postal. My God! We're only one person! CHARLESTON: Why don't we narrow our field conversation down to Rory. LORELAI: Ok, yeah, why don't we. You sit up here in your snotty little school that's in desperate need of some extra heating vents and you nurture horrible kids who treat each other like mortal enemies. You set impossible standards that make normal people feel less than everyone else. And you take a great kid like Rory and you tear her apart! MAX: I don't think that's completely fair. LORELAI: [to Max] And you! You say she's smart and she'll be fine and this rotting stodgy rathole could use somebody like her and then you completely shut her out of a test that she's crammed for, that she's ready for, that she completely deserves to take! MAX: I didn't call this place a rathole' LORELAI: Oh no that's true. I added that. Wouldn't want you to get in trouble with Il duce' here. I thought this place was going to be so great! And now I guess this goes on the Boy was I wrong' list, right above gauchos but just below the Flashdance' phase. CHARLESTON: My goodness you do like to throw fits in your family. LORELAI: What are you talking about? CHARLESTON: Your daughter threw a similar if not as manic fit of her own this morning. LORELAI: Please. Rory doesn't throw fits. She's the most even tempered person I know. CHARLESTON: Well then, she did a lovely impression of you. LORELAI: Well I don't - CHARLESTON: Ms. Gilmore, everything you said in your rant was absolutely true - without the colorful embellishments of course. We do set impossible standards, and such standards do foster highly competitive children. However that is life and that is Chilton. LORELAI: Rules can change, you can change them. CHARLESTON: I told your daughter when she came here that this place was not for everyone and might not be for her. I will now tell you the same thing. She doesn't have to be here. She doesn't have to go to Harvard, maybe she shouldn't if she can't handle the pressure, she should leave. Now you can take your daughter home now and decide what it is you intend to do. However, another outburst from either of you will not be on the options list. Thank you for coming in. That will be all. CUT TO HALLWAY LORELAI: You got ht by a deer? [Pan to outside] LORELAI: You did! You got ht by a deer. RORY: It just came out of nowhere. LORELAI: You couldn't just run into a wall like other kids. RORY: Can we just go home please. LORELAI: Yeah, sure. Jump in. CUT TO SOOKIE OUTSIDE OF LUCENT MILLS HOUSE LUCENT: May I help you? SOOKIE: Yes, hello [with her back to him] My name is Sookie St. James, I'm the chef at the Independence Inn. LUCENT: I know who you are. SOOKIE: You do? Well, I'm flattered, you write about a lot of chefs - LUCENT: What are you doing here? SOOKIE: Right. Well I know that this is a terrible intrusion but - are you cooking? LUCENT: I'm making chicken. SOOKIE: You used too much salt. LUCENT: I did not SOOKIE: Well it smells salty. LUCENT: I'm closing the door. SOOKIE: No wait. I found out your address from my network of culinary friends - LUCENT: Look, this is really inappropriate. I gave you a good review, I suggest you go home. SOOKIE: I don't care about the review. I just - I want you to try this disk, with this wine [handing them to him still with her back turned] I'll wait. CUT TO LORELAI AND RORY DRIVING HOME LORELAI: Quite a day huh? RORY: I don't wanna talk - please. LORELAI: You know, I just think that we should talk about it. RORY: Stop the car. LORELAI: What? RORY: Here - stop here. [jumps out] LORELAI: You're just feeling like an impromptu nature walk? RORY: I wanna see if it's ok. LORELAI: If what's ok? RORY: The deer. LORELAI: Sweetie you're never gonna find the deer. RORY: Well I'm gonna try. LORELAI: Well I'm in heels! RORY: Well stay in the car. LORELAI: It's dangerous in the car with all the kamikaze deer running around [getting out of car] RORY: I have to find it. LORELAI: Alright, wait up! So what does the deer look like? Huh? Does it have any distinguishing marks - besides the word Jeep' imprinted on it's forehead. RORY: It's just a deer. LORELAI: I had a nice chat with Headmaster Charleston today. He said you went ballistic in class. RORY: I was just tired. LORELAI: You wouldn't have been so tired if you hadn't been klling yourself all week. RORY: I was studying, I didn't have a choice. LORELAI: Well maybe you shouldn't be studying that hard. RORY: What are you talking about? LORELAI: You're 16. You should get some sleep and eat a real meal and come up for air once in a while. RORY: They kicked me out. LORELAI: No, of course not. They love you. This is coming from me. RORY: Are you saying I should quit? LORELAI: I'm saying, if you wanted to go back to your other school with Lane, that would be fine with me. RORY: You don't think I can do it. LORELAI: You know that's not true. I think you can do anything. But you don't lose it in class. That's not part of the Rory personality description and if you're losing it in class because you're tired or stressed or working to hard, I'm worried about that. I have to be. RORY: I lost it once. LORELAI: Ok, fine. It's just I can't remember, you know, a time when we weren't talking about you going to Harvard. It was just a given, that what we were working for. Everything went in that direction. RORY: I know. LORELAI: And I'm forgetting where all that started. RORY: What are you talking about? LORELAI: I'm talking about - did it start with me? Or did it start with you? Was it my dream that you go to Harvard. RORY: Mom. [shaking her head] LORELAI: Because I never got to do the big fancy college thing? Maybe all this time I'm thinking it's all for Rory, when really it wasn't. RORY: I'm not doing this because of you. LORELAI: Because if you are, you don't have to. RORY: I know that. LORELAI: I'll still love you. Even if you can't support me in my old age in the fabulous manner to which I plan on growing accustomed. RORY: I'll remember that generous gesture. LORELAI: Thank you. I just want you to be happy. RORY: I am. LORELAI: No, I want you to be dancing through the woods crazy' happy. And if Chilton and Harvard is not gonna do that for you, then forget about them. RORY: I was just behind. I never caught up with all the reading. That's why I got a D'. I can catch up. I will catch up and when I do, everything will be fine. LORELAI: Rory. RORY: You know Harvard is my dream. I want it more than anything, I swear LORELAI: Yeah but - RORY: I appreciate all that you're saying. I do. But I'm not ready to give up on Chilton yet. LORELAI: Fair enough. RORY: I do however reserve the right to change my mind. LORELAI: That's your prerogative as long as you remain a woman. RORY: Thanks though. LORELAI: For what? RORY: For yelling at the Headmaster the way you did. LORELAI: Oh, I didn't yell at him. RORY: You called him il duce' LORELAI: Which means kind sir' in Cantonese. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: You're welcome. How much longer are we gonna look for this crazy deer? RORY: Just a little further. I just hope he didn't hurt himself. LORELAI: I just hope he has insurance. CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE LORELAI: Go get that plaid skirt off and grab your books, we're going to Luke's. RORY: Don't you have to get back to work? LORELAI: Ah, they can last a little while longer without me. Plus Michel gets so cute when he feels like he's been overworked. His ears puff out, his nostrils flare, big fun. Go. RORY: I'm gone. [Phone rings, lets machine pick up] LORELAI: [voice on answering machine] It's us, we're not here. We have a life, get over it. [Lorelai closes books in the living room as she listens to the message, then sits on the couch] MAX: Hi this is a message for Rory. It's Max Medina calling. I just wanted to say that I talked to Headmaster Charleston or il duce' as he's more affectionately know at the Gilmore household, and he's agreed to let you do some extra credit work to help make up for the missed test today. Now I'm not sure what the extra credit work is yet, but it probably will be time consuming and extremely painful. It will however get you back up to where you rightfully belong Rory, don't lose heart. Make this work. And if you're mother is listening, Lorelai it was a pleasure encountering you. I hope it happens again. Anyways, see you in class. Bye.	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x04 - The Deer Hunters"}	foreverdreaming
Rory's Birthday Parties (Rory, Lorelai, and Emily are at Friday night dinner.) EMILY: Tomorrow our lawyer, Joseph Stanford, is coming by. LORELAI: Ugh. Crazy Sissy's dad. EMILY: That's terrible. Sissy was a good friend of yours. LORELAI: Mom, Sissy talked to her stuffed animals and they answered her. RORY: Let's just start a new topic. EMILY: Not possible! LORELAI: She said a new topic, Mom. EMILY: Everything's a joke. Everyone's a punch line. LORELAI: OK, I'm sorry. EMILY: My daughter -- Henny Youngman. (Richard comes in late.) RICHARD: Sorry for that. A little trouble with our China office. Well. What did I miss? LORELAI: I was being impossible and then I turned into a Jewish comedian. RICHARD: Ah. Well, continue. EMILY: Thank you. Where was I? RORY: Uh, Joseph Stanford is coming tomorrow. EMILY: Yes. So, Rory, your grandfather and I thought it might be nice after dinner for you to go around the house and pick out what you'd like us to leave you in our wills. RICHARD: Take a look at that desk in my office. It's a really fine Georgian piece. LORELAI: Why don't I ever bring a tape recorder to these dinners? RORY: Oh, well, anything you want to leave me is fine. EMILY: Nonsense. You should have what you like. So look around and when you see something you like stick a post-it on it. LORELAI: OK, you two have officially ht a new level of weird that even I marvel at. EMILY: You can pick out things too, you know. LORELAI: Oh, well now it's way less creepy. EMILY: Did you hear that Richard? Apparently we're creepy. RICHARD: Yes, well, live and learn. (The maid comes in with a tray.) RORY: Oh cool! LORELAI: What's that? EMILY: It's dessert. LORELAI: It's pudding. EMILY: Well if you knew what it was why did you ask? LORELAI: You don't like pudding. EMILY: Yes, but you like pudding. LORELAI: Oh, I love pudding. I worship it. I have a bowl up on the mantel at home with the Virgin Mary, a glass of wine, and a dollar bill next to it. RORY: I've never had pudding from a crystal bowl before. EMILY You like the bowl? RORY: Mmm. EMILY: Put a post-it on it when you're done. (Lorelai and Rory are putting post-its on on things in the living room.) LORELAI: So what do we think of this? RORY: Where would we put it? LORELAI: I don't know. The Emily and Richard Gilmore Psycho Museum? RORY: This is the strangest evening I've ever spent here. EMILY: So, how's it going? LORELAI: Great, just getting ready for the big day. EMILY: Very nice. LORELAI: So, um, it's getting late, Mom. Unless you've got some funeral plots for us to decorate we should really be going. EMILY: Any special requests for dinner next week? RORY: Oh, well -- LORELAI: Mom, I want to talk to you for a minute, and Rory, why don't you go say goodbye to Grandpa... RORY: Very smooth. (Rory leaves the room.) EMILY: Should I sit down? LORELAI: Yeah, but not there, OK? We got a post-it on that. We'd like to keep it nice. EMILY: It must be very exhausting to be you. LORELAI: Mom, Rory's birthday is next Friday. EMILY: I know that. LORELAI: So we were thinking that maybe we could push our dinner next week to Saturday. EMILY: What are you going to do on Friday? LORELAI: Oh I don't know. EMILY: Well perfect. You'll come here and we'll have a little party. LORELAI: I was just hoping we could do it another night. EMILY: Well why come on another night when her birthday falls on the exact night that you do come here. LORELAI: Saturday's a pretty good night, Mom. EMILY: Not as good as Friday. LORELAI: Pretty damn close. EMILY: Not from where I'm standing. LORELAI: Well, move then. EMILY: I'm sorry. Friday nights are my nights. That's what we agreed on when you borrowed money for her school. The rules haven't changed. LORELAI: Mom, I didn't intend for this loan to become a constant source of blackmail, OK? Now this is my kid's birthday and she will have her party at home on Friday and that's it? End of story. (Cut to Rory and Lorelai sitting in the car.) LORELAI: So, how would you like two parties this year? RORY: You couldn't get her to cave. LORELAI: No, but she did agree to make the string quartet to learn "Like A Virgin." RORY: Well, you tried. LORELAI: Sweetie, I promise, Saturday night we'll do it up right at home. A Stars Hollow extravaganza. RORY: So, is this party Grandma's having going to be a big deal? LORELAI: Not really. The government will close that day. Flags will fly at half-mast. Barbra Streisand will give her final concert...again. RORY: Uh-huh. LORELAI: Now, the Pope has previous plans, but he's trying to get out of them. However, Elvis and Jim Morrison are coming and they're bringing chips. RORY: You ask a simple question... (Cut to the inn. Lorelai is in the kitchen with Sookie.) SOOKIE: Mini orange biscuits with honey-mustard ham and cheddar cheese. LORELAI: Yum. SOOKIE: Angel wings with dipping sauce. LORELAI: Good, good. SOOKIE: Oh, did you bring me the picture? LORELAI: Oh, yes. SOOKIE: Too bad you couldn't get your mom to relinquish Friday night. LORELAI: No, she has her Vulcan death grip on that one. SOOKIE: Not that surprising though. LORELAI: Emily Gilmore -- you could set your watch by her. Oh, you know what she did do last night? SOOKIE: Wore jeans? LORELAI: Served pudding. SOOKIE: I was close! LORELAI: I mean, I'm sure it was some expensive form of pudding, but nonetheless, it was pudding! SOOKIE: That is amazing. LORELAI: Right. That would mean that she actually made a mental note that we liked pudding, which would mean that she actually listened to something other than the judgmental conga line going on in her head, and got over the fact that, to her, pudding is hospital food, and only acceptable when you've just had vital organ ripped out of your body. SOOKIE: Wow, that's some journey she had to take there. (Jackson rushes in.) JACKSON: Open your mouth and close your eyes. LORELAI: Who are you talking to? JACKSON: Right, sorry. (goes to Sookie) Open your mouth and close your eyes. SOOKIE: OK. JACKSON: Now get ready for something truly amazing. SOOKIE: Mmm! JACKSON: Huh? Huh? LORELAI: What is it? SOOKIE: I don't know. It's like, um... JACKSON: A what? SOOKIE: It's like a berry, but way more exotic. JACKSON: Yes! Good. LORELAI: Jackson, have you been having reactions to your fertilizer fumes again? JACKSON: For some time now I've been toying with cross-pollination. Finally I've got it. I figured out a way to cross a raspberry with a kumquat. SOOKIE: Kumquat! That's what I taste! Are you serious? How did you do this? LORELAI: You didn't build one of those machines like in "The Fly" did you? We're not going to find you wandering the streets wearing a raspberry head crying, "eat me!" (Michel comes in and Jackson walks over to him.) JACKSON You! You can make fun of me all you want to today, 'cause tday I am a god. Today, Mother Nature has bowed down to me. MICHEL: How nice for her. LORELAI: Michel, Jackson -- MICHEL: No need to fill me in. I'm quite happy being ignorant of whatever it is that is making him raise his arms over his head. LORELAI: Do you need me? MICHEL: The landscaper does. LORELAI: Oh, hey, Rory's birthday party is Saturday night so start thinking up reasons why you can't come. MICHEL: I'm going to be out of town. LORELAI: Oh, you used that last year. MICHEL: I'll work on it and get back to you LORELAI: 7:00, presents mandatory. MICHEL: Mm-hmm. JACKSON: Rasquat? (Cut to Lorelai's house. Rory is on the phone.) LORELAI: Lucy, I'm home! RORY: Kitchen. LORELAI: 'And Justin is just so dreamy. He can't marry Britney, I'll just cry and cry and cry.' RORY: (into the phone) OK, thanks. (hangs up phone) Pizza's on its way. LORELAI: You're such a good provider. Hi. RORY: I'm going to start my homework. Call me when the pizza guy gets here. (Rory goes to her room. The phone rings.) LORELAI: Hello? EMILY: Lorelai, what is your work schedule? LORELAI: Why? EMILY: I want to go shopping. LORELAI: With me? EMILY: I think that goes without saying. LORELAI: Only in your world, Mom. EMILY: I want to get Rory a birthday present. LORELAI: Well I'm sure whatever you get her, she'll love. EMILY: Yes, but I want to get her something special, something she wants, something...that you would get her. LORELAI: Oh, OK, fine. You can get her the bong then. EMILY: This isn't funny. I hardly to see the girl and we only get to talk at dinner once a week and then it's all about school and Jane. LORELAI: Lane, Mom. EMILY: I thought you might let me into her secret club just this one time and help me buy her something for her birthday. LORELAI: You're serious? EMILY: According to you I'm always serious. LORELAI: OK. EMILY: OK? LORELAI: OK. EMILY: Well, good, I'll meet you at Damion's tomorrow at 3:00 LORELAI: OK. EMILY: And dress appropriately -- LORELAI: Don't finish that sentence Mom. EMILY: I'll see you tomorrow. LORELAI: Thatagirl. (Cut to Chilton. Rory is opening her locker.) TRISTIN: Hey. RORY: What, Tristin? TRISTIN: I just wanted to say 'happy birthday.' RORY: It's not my birthday. TRISTIN: No, but it will be. (reading from a paper) 'On Friday at 4:03 in the morning, Lorelai Leigh --' RORY: What is that? (Rory takes the paper. It's an invitation to her birthday party, from Emily and Richard.) RORY: Who else got these? TRISTIN: I don't know. Everyone in our class, I think. RORY I have to go. TRISTIN: I'll see you Friday, birthday girl. (Rory walks down the hall.) LOUISE: That's her. GIRL #2: My parents are making me go. LOUISE: Another obligation party. GIRL #2: My life stinks. (Cut to a department store. Emily points to a hat.) EMILY: Oh, isn't this lovely? LORELAI: Oh, yeah. As soon as we have her crowned Queen of England we'll give it to her. EMILY: You are so combative today. LORELAI: Hatwear does that to me. Oh, Mom, look. This is good. EMILY: What is that? LORELAI: It's a purse shaped like a guitar. This is great. EMILY: Great for what? LORELAI: For Rory. EMILY: What will Rory do with that? LORELAI: She'll put stuff in it. Carry it around. EMILY: In public? LORELAI: Yeah. EMILY: What will people think? LORELAI: That she's an ax mrder, of course. EMILY: What about pearls? LORELAI: Pearls? EMILY A double string of pearls with a cashmere sweater set. LORELAI: Mom, she's a young girl. Think of something young. EMILY: A Mont Blanc pen? LORELAI: To put on her desk at the law firm? EMILY: She needs to write. LORELAI: Well not with a $200 pen, she doesn't. Oh, hey, look. These day planners are adorable. You could get her one of those funky erasers with a mermaid on it. She'll love that. EMILY: Please be serious, we're shopping for Rory. LORELAI: No, Mom, I'm shopping for Rory. You're shopping for your imaginary granddaughter, Barbara Hutton. EMILY: I want to get her something nice. LORELAI: I know you do, but you're not listening to me. EMILY: You wanted me to get her a Filofax and a mermaid eraser. LORELAI: It's one suggestion EMILY: Oh, yes, and there was a T-shirt with a Farrah Fawcett face. LORELAI: A hero to many who aspire to the perfect feather fluff. EMILY: Oh I don't know how to do this. Let's just go. LORELAI: Oh, no, no. Come on, Mom. You do know how to do this. Think pudding. EMILY: Pudding? LORELAI: Come on. You asked for my help. You're reaching out. A little -- not a lot -- don't get freaked. But, Mom -- pudding. EMILY: Why do you keep saying pudding? LORELAI: Listen, just look around and pick up something she might like. (Emily picks up a bracelet.) EMILY: Here. LORELAI: Oh, now that's really good. EMILY: Really? LORELAI: Absolutely. EMILY: Doesn't look like something you could buy at a car wash? LORELAI: Totally. That's half the charm. EMILY: Oh, no, it's only $12. LORELAI: Six dollars more than a car wash. EMILY: Twelve dollars is not a present. LORELAI: Twelve dollars is a perfect present, Mom. She'll love that. EMILY: Can I at least get her the pashmina also? (Lorelai shakes her head no.) EMILY: Fine, I'll get it. LORELAI: Good choice. EMILY Oh! It lights up. (Cut to Luke's. Lorelai walks in with a garment bag. She looks around the diner and takes a seat at the counter.) LUKE: She's not here yet. LORELAI: All right. You'll have to entertain me until she arrives. OK, Burger Boy, dance. LUKE: Will you marry me? LORELAI: What? LUKE: Just looking for something to shut you up. LORELAI: You better be nice to me or I'm not inviting you to Rory Gilmore's birthday celebration this Saturday night. LUKE: You don't have to ask me, you know. LORELAI: I know. But I would like you to come. LUKE: Yeah? LORELAI: Yeah. LUKE: OK, I'll see. LORELAI: 7:00. Don't be late. (Rory walks in with her head down.) LORELAI: Wow. Nice face you got on there. RORY: Coffee. LORELAI: Bad day? RORY: I've now used the word 'sucks' so much that it's lost all meaning to me. LORELAI: Well maybe this will cheer you up. RORY: What? LORELAI: You'll see. (Lorelai unzips the garment bag and pulls out a dress.) RORY: What is that? LORELAI: These are our party dresses. RORY: So it's a Halloween party? LORELAI: Listen, you. So I'm shopping today with your grandmother and it's a whole three hours of "Who are you buying that for, Mom? Have you met Rory?" and then finally I talked and she listened and she wound up getting you something I think you're really going to like. RORY: Really? LORELAI: Yes, really. And of course she insisted on buying us these dresses but I think I can do something with them to make them better. RORY: Wow. I've never seen you so cheery after spending time with Grandma. LORELAI: Well it's been a long time since we got together and didn't end up fighting. It was refreshing. It wasn't exactly fun but I didn't get that sh*ting pain in my eye like I usually do. RORY: Wow. That's great. LORELAI :Yeah. (Luke brings coffee to their table.) LUKE: So I hear you're having a party Saturday. RORY: Yeah. Mom's famous for her blowouts. LORELAI: The best one was her eighth birthday. RORY: Oh, yeah, that was good. LORELAI: The cops shut us down. LUKE: The cops shut down an eight year old's birthday party? RORY: And arrested the clown. LUKE: I don't want to hear any more of this. (Luke walks away.) LORELAI: So, now tell me, why Miss Lemonhead today? RORY: Nothing. I-I'm fine. I just got an A- on a French test that I should have gotten an A on. LORELAI: Oh, honey, an A- is awesome. RORY: Yeah, it's - it's fine. LOREAI: Let me see. Maybe we should really embrace the whole tulle thing. Go totally modern Cinderella. What do you think? It's your birthday. RORY: Yeah. Lucky me. (Cut to Lorelai tiptoeing into Rory's room. It's the middle of the night.) LORELAI: Happy birthday. little girl. (Rory wakes up and moves over. Lorelai gets into bed with her.) RORY: Hey. LORELAI: I can't believe how fast you're growing up. RORY: Really? Feels slow. LORELAI: Trust me, it's fast. What do you think of your life so far? RORY: I think it's pretty good. LORELAI: Any complaints? RORY: I'd like that whole humidity thing to go away. LORELAI: All right. I'll work on that. RORY: So do I look older? LORELA: Oh, yeah. You walk into Denny's before 5, you've got yourself a discount. RORY: Good deal. LORELAI: So you know what I think? RORY: What? LORELAI: I think you're a great, cool kid, and the best friend a girl could have. RORY: Right back at ya. LORELAI: And it's so hard to believe that at exactly this time many moons ago, I was lying in exactly the same position -- RORY: Oh, boy. Here we go. LORELAI: Only I had a huge, fat stomach and big fat ankles and I was swearing like a sailor -- RORY: On leave. LORELAI: On leave -- right! And there I was -- RORY: In labor. LORELAI: And while some have called it the most meaningful experience of your life, to me it was something more akin to doing the splits on a crate of dynamite. RORY: I wonder if the Waltons ever did this. LORELAI: And I was screaming and swearing and being surrounded as I was by a hundred prominent doctors, I just assumed there was an actual use for the cup of ice chips they gave me. RORY: There wasn't. LORELAI: But pelting the nurses sure was fun. RORY: I love you, Mom. LORELAI: Shh. I'm getting to the part where he sees your head. So there I was... (Fade out.) (Cut to Rory and Lane entering Luke's.) LANE: You should not have to go to school today. RORY: Have to. Latin test. (Rory and Lane go to the counter.) LANE: Jeez. Every day you have a test. When do you have time to learn anything to be tested on? LUKE: Hey, wrong table. RORY: Since when is there a right table? LUKE: Since the coffee cake I baked for you and the stupid balloons I blew up are at that table, over there. RORY: You blew up balloons for me? LUKE: Yep. RORY: Oh, Luke, you old softie. LUKE: I count to three, it's gone. RORY: Thank you. (Lane and Rory move over to the decorated table.) LANE: Are you OK? RORY: Yeah, I'm just...I'm getting old, Lane. LANE: You seem a little quiet this morning. RORY: I'm just dreading this whole night. I mean, it's bad enough that I have to see these stupid kids from Chilton every day. But tonight? On my birthday? I've never even talked to most of them. I mean, I've only been going to this school for a couple months. God, they're gonna think I am the biggest freak and I need my grandma to get people to come to my party. LANE: Well what did Lorelai say when you told her? RORY: I didn't. LANE: Why not? RORY: Because of the pudding. LANE: Oh, the pudding. Right, I forgot about the pudding. RORY: My grandmother served us pudding the other night and then she went shopping with my mom and they didn't fight. I don't know, I mean, they never get along, and now suddenly they're getting along, and I knew that if I told Mom about the invites she'd wig out and call Grandma and that would be the end of the pudding. LANE: You know you can buy pudding. RORY: It's one night, right? LANE: Right. RORY: I can stand it for one night. (Dean walks into the diner. He looks over at Rory as he shuts the door then goes to the counter. DEAN: Coffee to go, please. (Dean looks at Rory while he's waiting for his coffee.) LUKE: Here you go. DEAN: Thanks. (Dean mouths "happy birthday" as he leaves. Rory smiles to herself.) LANE: Why are you smiling? RORY: I'm just thinking about pudding. (Cut to Emily directing the caterers.) EMILY: No, not there. In the living room. Why are you touching that? Why are you touching that? Well don't. I want those six inches apart! Get a ruler. (Richard comes in trying to fix his tie.) RICHARD: Emily! EMILY: Let me do that. RICHARD: I hope the Larsons are coming tonight. EMILY: Richard, no business. This is your granddaughter's party. RICHARD: Five minutes of shop talk isn't going to spoil the evening. EMILY: Five minutes, please. RICHARD: Emily. EMILY: If I ever heard you keep your shop talk down to five minutes, I'd drop dad. RICHARD: Emily. EMILY: In fact I could drop dad and you wouldn't stop talking business. You'd just step right over my body to get to the speakerphone. RICHARD: Emily. EMILY: What? RICHARD: You look very nice tonight. EMILY: Thank you. (Doorbell rings. Lorelai and Rory come in.) LORELAI: Jeez, Mom. Leave some servants for the rest of the neighborhood. EMILY: There she is -- the birthday girl. RORY: Hi Grandma. LORELAI: Wow, you really went all out, huh? EMILY Well I wanted everything to be perfect. What do you think? LORELAI: I think Edith Wharton would have been proud, and busy taking notes. (Lorelai hands a garment bag to Rory.) LORELAI: Here, babe, go change. RORY: OK. EMILY: Hurry! (Lorelai takes off her coat.) EMILY: What is that? LORELAI: Oh, that's my dress. EMILY: Where's the one I bought you? LORELAI: This is it. EMILY: I thought there was more of it. LORELAI: Gee, Mom, the place looks great. EMILY: Did you turn Rory's into a hat? LORELAI: Nice candles. Six inches apart? (Cut to the party.) RICHARD: You're drinking white wine tonight? No Scotch? LORELAI: (to a guest) Excuse me. I'm going to sit over there with my daughter. GUEST: OK. (Rory is sitting alone until Lorelai joins her and hands her a drink.) LORELAI: Here. RORY: What is it? LORELAI: Shirley Temple. RORY: What are you drinking? LORELAI: A Shirley Temple Black. (Lorelai lets Rory smell her drink.) RORY: Wow. LORELAI: I got your Good Ship Lollipop right here, mister. So do you want something to eat? RORY: Everything smells funny. EMILY: There you are. Come, there's some people I want you to meet. (Rory goes with Emily.) MITZI: Lorelai? LORELAI: Yeah. Oh my God! Oh, Mitzie, wow, I haven't seen you since -- MITZI: Your seventh month. LORELAI: I was going to say high school, but OK. MITZI: Oh, no, did I say something rude? LORELAI: No, no. MITZI: No, I did. I said something rude. I've been trying to work on that. LORELAI: Well, a noble goal. MITZI: Ever since my divorce, I've been really trying to work on myself. You know, I just -- I want to grow. LORELAI: Uh-huh. MITZI: Lorelai Gilmore, the scandal girl! Now, tell me, what ever happened with Christopher? LORELAI: Christopher is in California. MITZI: Oh, do you hear from him? LORELAI: Uh -- MITZI: I'm sorry, is this painful for you to talk about? LORELAI: Uh, well -- MITZI: When did he last call you? LORELAI: God, you're making progress with that rude thing, huh, Mitz? MITZI: I'm sorry. LORELAI: It's OK. He calls like once a week and we see him at Christmas, sometimes Easter. It's all very civil. MITZI: So are you married now? LORELAI: No, it's just me and Rory. MITZI: Your cat? LORELAI: My kid! She's right over there. MITZI: Oh. (turns to look) Wow! You can really see Christopher in her, can't you? LORELAI: Yes, you can. MITZI: Does that kll you? LORELAI: You know, what? I see...someone...else...and it's been great. (Cut to Richard standing with some business associates.) RICHARD: Oh, no, those aren't the terms we agreed on. LARS: They most certainly are. RICHARD: Lars, you were at the same meeting I was. We specifically spelled out a five year extention, not a three year one. LARS: I heard three. RORY: Hi Grandpa! RICHARD: Rory. Gentlemen, this is my granddaughter, Rory. LARS: Happy birthday, Rory. (The men all hand envelopes to Rory.) LARS: I think we should Dennis on the phone right now. RICHARD: Fine, I've got a phone in my office. (The men leave.) EMILY: Rory, there's a whole group of your school friends in the library. Let's go say hello to them. (Emily and Rory go into the library where kids from Chilton are standing around looking bored.) RORY: I have to go to the bathroom. EMILY: Just say hello first. Come on, I'll hold those for you. KID #3: Who's that? KID #4: I think it's her party. KID #3: Oh. (Rory looks around the room and turns to leave.) RORY: Paris? PARIS: My parents made me come. RORY: Oh God! PARIS: Otherwise I wouldn't be here. You believe me, don't you? (Rory walks away from Paris and sees Tristin coming in the front door. TRISTIN: Oh, coming to greet me? RORY: Hello, Tristin. TRISTIN: So where's my birthday kiss? RORY: It's my birthday. TRISTIN: So I'll give you a birthday kiss. RORY: What is wrong with you? TRISTIN: Ok, I gotta tell you something. I'm madly in love with you. RORY: Well, good luck with that. TRISTIN: I can't eat, I can't sleep...I wake up in the middle of the night calling your name. Rory, Rory! RORY: Would you shut up please? RICHARD: Rory, who's your friend? RORY: I don't know but this is Tristin. RICHARD: Excuse me? TRISTIN: Tristin Dugray, sir. RICHARD: Dugray? Are you any relation to Janlen Dugray? RICHARD: That's my grandfather, sir. RICHARD: Well I've done business with Janlen for years. He's a fine man. TRISTIN: That he is. RICHARD: Rory, you've got very good taste in friends. I approve. LARS: Richard, I've got Dennis on the phone and he heard the same thing I heard. RICHARD: Well, one wrong man can always find a friend. (Richard and Lars leave.) TRISTIN: He likes me. RORY: He's drunk. TRISTIN Let's take a walk. RORY: This is stuipd. you don't even like me! You just have this weird need to prove that I'll go out with you. That's not liking someone. TRISTIN: Why are you fighting this? You're gonna give in eventually. RORY: I'm going to go find my mother. TRISTIN: Wow, meeting your mom. It's a bit sudden, but OK. (Paris leans against a door and watches Tristin.) (Rory walks up to Lorelai and Emily.) EMILY: Oh there you are! I think it's time that you said a few words to your guests. RORY: What? EMILY: Just a little speech to say thank you and tell everyone how it feels to be one year older. LORELAI: Mom, I don't she wants-- EMILY: She's the hostess, Lorelai. This is her responsibility. RORY: I am not the hostess! You are! LORELAI: Hey, honey, hold on... RORY: This is your party and these are your guests and I don't have anything to say to them, so you give the speech. EMILY: Rory! RORY: Excuse me. LORELAI: What was that all about? EMILY: Lorelai, your daughter has no manners whatsoever. You should be ashamed of yourself. (Emily walks away.) LORELAI: OK, how did this become my fault? (Cut to Rory lying on the bed in Lorelai's old room.) LORELAI: Hey. Can I come in? RORY: It's your room. LORELAI: How are you doing? RORY: I'm sorry I snapped at Grandma. LORELAI: Yeah, hugh? That was a pretty 'Freaky Friday' moment we had back there. RORY: She just went ahead and invited all these kids from Chilton. LORELAI: You're kidding. I thought she checked on that with you. RORY: She didn't ask me or tell me. LORELAI: Oh, man, I'm so sorry. RORY: It just -- I don't know but it really made me mad. LORELAI: Oh, honey, why didn't you tell me? RORY: Because you were happy. I mean, it's not very often that there's peace between the two of you. I didn't want to screw everything up. LORELAI: Rory, I appreciate you wanting you wanting Mom and I to get along but you shouldn't keep stuff like that from me. RORY: I feel terrible. I mean, I've never yelled at her before. LORELAI: Listen, you'll apologize, all will be forgotten. You'll see. Man. It's like time has stood still in this room. RORY: It must be weird for you to be in this room now. LORELAI: Yeah, it was weird for me to be in this room then. (points to a dollhouse) You know, they gave this to me with the glass on. RORY: I now officially know what it feels like to have grown up here. LORELAI: It's not official until you're huddled in the corner eating your hair. RORY: Do you remember your last birthday here? LORELAI: Yeah. We had just had a fight and I was lying on the bed just like you are now. RORY: What did you fight about? LORELAI: Well, I was pregnant. RORY: Oh, that. LORELAI: And I said something at the table about the pate smelling like Clorox and one thing led to another and I wound up here. I hadn't told anybody yet about me. And you. RORY: That must have been really hard on you. LORELAI: Yeah. I remember when I finally told them, it was the only time they ever looked small to me. RORY: I guess I'd better go find Grandma. LORELAI: Mmm. Give her a minute. EMILY: There you are! LORELAI: She'll find us. EMILY You are both being very rude. This isn't my birthday party, you know. LORELAI: Sorry, Mom. EMILY: Honestly, the way the two of you act. RORY: Grandma, I just want to -- EMILY: We'll talk about this later. Now go. (Cut to Emily saying goodnight to the last of the guests.) EMILY: Thank you, good to see you. Lovely as always, Leeza. My best to Darren. LORELAI: Hey, Mom. Great party. One of your best. I even liked those brown mushroom things. RORY: Grandma, can I talk to you for a sec? EMILY: Richard, the girls are leaving. RICHARD: Well, Rory, I hope you had a good time. RORY: Yes, I did. RICHARD: Now, I know that your grandmother has already bought you a gift and signed my name to it. That was part of our agreement when we got married. However, I feel this occasion calls for something a little extra. (hands her a check) Put that towards your trip to Fez. RORY: Oh, Grandpa! RICHARD: You're a good girl, Rory. Happy birthday. RORY: I don't deserve this. LORELAI: Fine, hand it over. EMILY: You girls should get going. You've got quite a drive ahead of you. RORY: Grandma, we're having a party tomorrow at our house and -- I mean, it won't be anything like this but it will be fun and maybe you and Grandpa can come? EMILY: That's very sweet, dear, but I'm afraid we already have plans. RORY: Oh, Ok. EMILY: Have a safe trip. Lock the door behind you, OK? (Emily walks away.) LORELAI: Hey, um, why don't you go help that guy out there put all the presents in the car. RORY: OK. EMILY: (to catering staff) All this can go in the dishwasher. LORELAI: Mom, come to the party tomorrow. EMILY: I can't. I'm busy. (to catering staff) Throw those out, we won't need them. LORELAI: Mom, your granddaughter invited you to her birthday party. Please, come. EMILY: I've already been to a party for my granddaughter and she humilitated me in front of all of my friends. I have no desire to relive that experience. (to catering staff) The cheeses must be put in individual bags, please. LORELAI: Oh come on, give her a break. You invited all these Chilton kids without even asking her. EMILY: They're her schoolmates. I assumed they were her friends LORELAI: You know what they say when people assume things. EMILY No, what do they say? LORELAI: That -- you shouldn't. EMILY: Very clever. LORELAI: Mom, she didn't want them here. She doesn't like them. EMILY: Well I had to invite them. That's just good manners, something that your daughter is sorely lacking. LORELAI: God, you know, you're doing the same thing to her that you always did to me. You're trying to control her and when that doesn't work you just shut her out. EMILY: I'm too tired for your accusations right now. Can we do this tomorrow? LORELAI: I'm just -- EMILY: Here, I'll find you a pen so you can write down all your insults so that you won't forget them. LORELAI: Mom, this is not funny. I have a crushed kid out in the car. EMILY: What do you want me to say? Everything's fine, it's forgotten. There, I'll see you next week. LORELAI: So I guess the whole pudding thing was just a fluke, huh? Trying to get to know us, easing up on the rules, smuding that bottom line of yours. It was just some weird phase. What, you were on cold medicine last week or something? EMILY: Oh, so I'm a villan now, is that it? I spent a fortune on this party. I spent days planning it, making sure that every little detail was perfect -- the food, the linen, the music. And I did all this for Rory. LORELAI: Well that's not what she needs. She needs you to accept her apology and come to her party. That's what she needs. You don't care what she needs. EMILY: How dare you! LORELAI: You don't even know what she needs because you don't know her. You've never tried to know her just like you never knew me. EMILY: Oh I know you. LORELAI: Oh, please. You don't know anything about me. EMILY: Oh, you'd like to think that, wouldn't you? That you're just some huge mystery to me. 'Why does Lorelai do that?' 'I don't know, she's a mystery to me.' Well you're not so mysterious, Lorelai. LORELAI: No! No! What am I then? EMILY: Well right now you're very loud and disruptive to the entire cleaning process. (to catering staff) For God's sake! What do I have to do to get you to put the damn cheese in individual bags? LORELAI: Fine, I give up EMILY: Oh, you give up? If I had a dollar for every time you gave up -- LORELAI: Then you could pay for this party, couldn't you? (Cut to Lorelai's house. Sookie is unpacking groceries when Lorelai walks into the kitchen.) SOOKIE: I made coffee. LORELAI: Mmm. SOOKIE: Hangover? LORELAI: Emily. SOOKIE: Oh. Got it. Moving on... RORY: Good morning. SOOKIE: Morning, Popcorn. You want some pancakes? RORY: No, I've gotta get going. LORELAI: Where? RORY: The college fair is this morning. LORELAI: So you're going to get yet another Harvard brochure? RORY: I just want to see if they've changed the pictures. LORELAI: Weirdo. RORY: I'll be back in plenty of time to help you decorate. LORELAI: No, this is your party. You do not work. You lounge and mock those who are. Have I taught you nothing? RORY: Sorry. I'll try to be better. Bye. SOOKIE: OK, bye-bye. (Cut to the college fair. Rory stops at the Harvard table.) RORY: New brochure? HARVARD REP: Yes. PARIS: What are you doing here? RORY: There's a college fair going on. PARIS: No, I mean, what are you doing here? RORY: I'm getting a new brochure. PARIS: Why? RORY: Because they're not selling pizza. (pause) Oh no. PARIS: You can't. RORY: You're applying to Harvard? PARIS: Yes. RORY: No! PARIS: Ten generations of Gellers have gone to Harvard. I have to go to Harvard. RORY: I can't believe this. PARIS: You can go somewhere else. Go to Brandeis. Brandeis is nice. RORY: I've only ever wanted to go to Harvard. That's it. Nowhere else. (pause) It's a big school. PARIS: I guess. RORY: We'll probably never see each other. PARIS: You think? RORY: And if we do, we duck. PARIS: OK. So... (Paris starts to walk away then stops.) PARIS: Hey...Are you dating Tristin? RORY: What? No. No way. PARIS: Do you like him? RORY: Not even a little. PARIS: Really? RORY: Really. PARIS: OK. (Paris turns away thens stops again.) PARIS: Hey...Nice party. RORY: Thanks. (Cut to Rory's second party.The house is filled with loud music and the people of Stars Hollow.) MISS PATTY: Happy birthday Rory! LORELAI: Open it, open it, open it! (Rory is opening her presents. She gets an iBook from Lorelai.) RORY: No! LORELAI: You like it? You can take it back. RORY: No! I love it! It's perfect. LORELAI: It's blue and it has a handle. RORY: It's way too expensive. LORELAI: I know, that's what I told the guy at the store. (Sookie brings in a cake with Rory's face on it.) SOOKIE: OK! On three 'cause I'm gonna drop it. OK, One, two -- (Everyone sings "Happy Birthday.") LORELAI: Make a wish. (Rory blows out the candles.) LORELAI: All right, everybody, I need your attention, your attention please. This is a very serious moment. Two priests, a rabbi and a duck -- RORY: Mom. LORELAI: All right, I'm kidding. Um, I would like to propose a toast to the one thing in my life that is always good, always sweet, and without whom I would have no reason to get up in the morning. My pal Rory. Cheers. BABETTE: Happy birthday. LORELAI: And in honor of this very special girl I now invite you all to help me eat her face. (Doorbell rings. Sookie hands Rory a Knfe.) SOOKIE: And you may have the first cut. RORY: There's something very strange about hacking into my own head. (Doorbell rings again.) LORELAI: Jeez, who the hell's ringing the bell? It's a party! Get your ass in here! (Emily and Richard walk in the door.) LORELAI: Or asses I guess. RORY: Grandma! Grandpa! I can't believe you're here. I'm so glad you came. Hey, no tie? RICHARD: I thought I'd mix it up a little. RORY: Grandma, look. (Rory shows Emily that she's wearing the bracelet.) EMILY: Why, it looks lovely. RORY: I want you to meet everyone. Everyone, these are my grandparents. EVERYONE: Hi. RICHARD: Hello. EMILY: Lorelai. LORELAI: Emily, Dad. RICHARD: Lorelai, you look well. MISS PATTY: I'm Patricia LaCosta. We just love your daughter and granddaughter. EMILY: Thank you. MISS PATTY: My God, you're a tall speciman of a man. Must be all that good air in Hartford. LORELAI: Mom, Dad, can I get you a drink? EMILY: No, thank you. LORELAI: Oh, no, Mom, you're going to need one and I have wine glasses that say "Holiday Inn" on them. EMILY: Stoli on the rocks with a twist. LORELAI: Right. (Lorelai goes into the kitchen.) LORELAI: Um, OK, uh, my parents are here. SOOKIE: No! LORELAI: Yeah. I've cursed in front of them twice and Miss Patty already tried to ht on my dad, and I'm sure my mom is going to call Child Protective Services SOOKIE: God, when was the last time they were here? LORELAI: Never. SOOKIE: Not once? LORELAI: Not since we moved here. I mean, they'd come down and visit is occasionally when Rory was a baby and we lived at the inn, but they have never been here. SOOKIE: Wow. That's big stuff. Is Rory thrilled? LORELAI: Through the roof. SOOKIE: Oh, that's great. EMILY: Lorelai, I just tried some of thse hors d'ouevres. They're unbelievable. Who is your caterer? LORELAI: Sookie. EMILY: What's a Sookie? LORELAI: That's a Sookie. SOOKIE: Hi. Sookie St. James. LORELAI: Sookie's the chef at the inn, Mom. EMILY: My dear, you are very talented. SOOKIE: Thank you. EMILY: Well, you must cater my next party. When my friends get wind of you you're going to have so much business you won't know what to do with yourself. But remember -- I discovered you. LORELAI: Mom, Sookie has a job. She's the chef at the inn. The inn where we work -- my inn. Six days a week, Mom. (to Sookie) Just give her your number or we'll never get out of here. SOOKIE: OK. (Cut to Richard looking up the fireplace.) LORELAI: So, how does it look? RICHARD: Well, it doesn't look structurally sound. LORELAI: Drink up, Dad. (Richard walks away and Sookie runs into the living room.) SOOKIE: OK, don't panic. LORELAI: Good opening line. What's wrong? SOOKIE: We're out of ice. LORELAI: How could we be out of ice? We had a ton of ice. It was like a penguin habitat in there. SOOKIE: I don't know how it happened, I just know it happened and somehow we have to deal with it. LORELAI: I will go and get some then. (Lorelai starts out the door. Luke comes in carrying ice.) LORELAI: Oh! Oh my God! You're a vision! Sookie, we have ice! SOOKIE: Hallelujah. LORELAI: How did you know? LUKE: Well, a good rule of thumb is you can never have too much ice. LORELAI: Oh, you're the best. (Lorelai hugs Luke just as Emily comes out of the kitchen.) LORELAI: That's -- Oh, hi, Mom. This is my friend Luke LUKE: How are you doing? EMILY: Fine, thank you. LUKE: Well I'd better get these in the freezer before they melts. LORELAI: Well, not very likely in here. (Rory finds Richard on the porch.) RORY: Grandpa? RICHARD: Rory, what a lovely party. RORY: I brought you something to read. RICHARD: Oh. RORY: It's not the Wall Street Journal, but there's a quiz in there that determines whether you're a summer or a fall. RICHARD: Well I appreciate this, thank you. (Back inside, everyone is in the living room.) BABETTE: Oh, Morey, you remember the time that Rory decided that our old tree stump was a fairy ring? MOREY: I sure do. BABETTE: How old was she then, sugar? LORELAI: I think she was about 10. RORY: Hey, all I know is that it matched the description . BABETTE: Oh, God, she was cute. She used to sit out there with a peanut butter sandwich just waiting for the fairy to get hungry. RORY: OK, new story. MISS PATTY: I'm still crushed beyond belief that she quit her ballet lessons. LORELAI: Oh, not me. Miss Perfect Work Ethic would prance around this room 24 hours a day. RORY: And I still stunk. LANE: I can vouch for that. MISS PATTY: That's not true! MOREY: She was pretty bad. MISS PATTY: No, don't you listen to them. You had a true gift. (Everyone laughs. MISS PATTY: What? She did. She was talented. (Everyone laughs. Emily gets up and goes up to Lorelai's bedroom. Lorelai follows her. Emily picks up a quilt.) LORELAI: I made that. EMILY: Really? LORELAI: From Rory's old baby clothes EMILY: How nice. Hope you washed them first. LORELAI: Oh, rats. I knew I forgot something. EMILY: That's quite an assortment of characters you've assembled down there. LORELAI: They're great people. EMILY: This Patricia -- LORELAI: Miss Patty. EMILY: She teaches dance? LORELAI: Among other things. EMILY: And this man with the ice. LORELAI: Luke. EMILY: How long have you been seeing him? LORELAI: Luke? I'm not seeing Luke. He's just a friend. EMILY: Mm-hmm. LORELAI: Mom, I swear. Luke keeps me in coffee, nothing else. EMILY: He seems to like you. LORELAI: And you're judging this by what? EMILY: By they way he looked at you. LORELAI: Which is how? EMILY: Like you were about to give him a lap dance. LORELAI: Mom, he did not look at me like that. EMILY: You're pleased. LORELAI: What? EMILY: You smiled. You're pleased that the ice man looked at you like a Porterhouse steak. LORELAI: I'm smiling because you're crazy and that's what you do to crazy people to keep them calm. (Emily picks up a picture of Lorelai on crutches.) EMILY: What's this? LORELAI: Well, that's me, Mom. EMILY: I know that's you. You're wearing a cast. LORELAI: Yeah, that's when I broke my leg. EMILY: You broke your leg? LORELAI: Yeah, three years ago during a yoga class. The headstand portion took a very ugly turn. The good thing was I brought the smug, blonde, pretzel chick down with me. I've since learned that I'm a bit too comptetitive for yoga. EMILY: I never knew that you broke your leg. LORELAI: It was no big deal, Mom. If I'd been really sick you would have known. EMILY: Yeah, well...You know, could get a maid in here once a week to at least tidy the place up. LORELAI: I like it cluttered. EMILY: You can't even find the bed. LORELAI: Yes I can. It's the thing that I crash into on the way to the closet. EMILY: I should go check on your father. LORELAI: It was nice that you came tonight, Mom. It meant a lot. To Rory. Really. EMILY: Well, she is my granddaughter, after all. I should be here. LORELAI: I totally agree. (Emily starts to fold up the quilt.) LORELAI: Leave it. (Emily walks onto the porch. Richard is reading Rory's magazine.) EMILY: It's time to go now. RICHARD: In a minute, please. EMILY: Rory, we're going to get going now. RORY: Thank you for coming. EMILY: Thanks for asking me. RICHARD: Ah, lovely party. I enjoyed the reading material immensely. RORY: So what's the verdict? RICHARD: I am an autumn. RORY: Interesting. RICHARD: Isn't it? LORELAI: Hey, so you guys leaving? The mud wrestling starts in ten minutes. EMILY: Good night, Lorelai. We had a lovely time. LORELAI: And with a straight face you said that. RICHARD: I'd have that chimney inspected if I were you. LORELAI: I'll get right on that, Dad. (Richard hands Rory a check.) RICHARD: For Fez. RORY: But Grandpa, you already took care of that. RICHARD: Fez is a very large city. (Rory and Lorelai watch Emily and Richard walk to their car.) RORY: So... LORELAI: Food fight? RORY: Absolutely. (They run back inside.) (Emily is silent in the car.) RICHARD: Emily? EMILY: She's right. I don't know my daughter at all. We should go. Traffic. (Cut to the kitchen. Lorelai and Sookie are cleaning up.) LORELAI: Next year, we are going to a McDonald's with one of those slides and that's it. SOOKIE: The party was a h*t. LORELAI: And we'll be eating onion dip for breakfast for a week. SOOKIE: You know, you mix that dip with some groud turkey and some garlic and it's really not too bad. LORELAI: Hey, I'm not looking for a recipe. SOOKIE: Ooh, reflex, sorry. OK, I'm gonna go check the living room. LORELAI: OK. (Standing at the sink, Lorelai looks up and sees Rory in the yard with Dean.) RORY: You didn't have to get me anything. DEAN: Sorry, that's the rules. You get older, you get a gift. RORY: I'm sorry about this sort of sneaky thing. I just haven't told my mother yet about you. I mean, not that there's to tell. I just -- DEAN: That's OK. This is better. (Rory unwraps the gift.) RORY: Oh my God. It's beautiful. DEAN: Well, I bought the medallion and I just cut some leather straps and drilled a hole, and well, you like it? RORY: I -- it's amazing. DEAN: Good. RORY: Thank you. DEAN: Here. (Dean ties it around Rory's wrist. They smile at each other. Lorelai is still watching from the window.)	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x05 - Rory's Birthday Parties"}	foreverdreaming
Cinnamon's Wake (Lorelai, Rory, and Emily Gilmore are sitting around the dinner table.) LORELAI: So where'd you say Dad was? EMILY: Away on business. LORELAI: Location's top secret? EMILY: Oh, Germany. LORELAI: Germany. Is Dad's firm insuring nzi now? EMILY: Your father doesn't know any nzi. LORELAI: I know, Mom. I was just -- EMILY: What? RORY: Joking. She was joking. EMILY: Oh. Hard to tell. LORELAI: Yeah, well. EMILY: Oh, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Claudia died. LORELAI: Who? EMILY: Claudia. Your cousin Claudia. (Lorelai stares.) Claudia! LORELAI: I'm hearing the name, Mom. I have no idea who that is. EMILY: Claudia's your cousin, for all intents and purposes. LORELAI: Oh, now we're getting to it. EMILY: She was your father's grandmother's sister's girl. So to you, that would make her -- LORELAI: Nothing? EMILY: Regardless the funeral's on Thursday. I thought we'd all go together. LORELAI: Ooh, whoa. Two problems. Impossible to get away from the inn Thursday. Two, I've never met this woman. EMILY: You most certainly have. LORELAI: When? EMILY: Several times. LORELAI: I'll take one. EMILY: We went to her house in Groton to see the first moon landing. She'd just gotten a new Philco. LORELAI: I have no memory of this whatsoever. EMILY: Rory, correct me if I'm wrong, but men have walked on the moon regardless of whether your mother remembers it or not. RORY: That's the rumor. LORELAI: I know men have walked on the moon. I just don't know Claudia. EMILY: So you're not going? LORELAI: Not this time. EMILY: I don't think Claudia's planning to die a second time. LORELAI: Mom, I couldn't go if I wanted to. EMILY: Fine. (pauses) Oh wait -- Rudolph Gottfried. LORELAI: Another cousin? EMILY: No, a nzi that we knew. I'd forgotten. We stayed with him once in Munich. Nice old man. Interesting stories. LORELAI: Mom you socialized with a nzi? That's despicable! That's heinous! EMILY: No, dear, that was a joke. (Rory laughs.) (Cut to Lorelai's kitchen. It is morning and Lorelai is seated at the table drinking coffee. Rory walks into the kitchen and closes her bedroom door on loud music.) LORELAI: Hey. I have an idea for a new reality show. How about everyone just looks out their freakin' kitchen window for a change? RORY: Ooh. She's cranky this morning. LORELAI: Let's just say the world has a formidable opponent. RORY: Wait -- shouldn't you be baking? LORELAI: I don't know. Shouldn't you be knitting? RORY: Mom! The Chilton bake sale is today! LORELAI: I know. I got it covered. RORY: They expect the things to be homemade. LORELAI: I know. RORY: By someone other than Dolly Madison. LORELAI: I said I have it covered. RORY: All of the parents pitch in so this is really really important. You know that, right? LORELAI: No, I didn't know that. In that case I don't have it covered. I have it covered! Get your stuff and ht the stereo -- we're late. RORY: (softly) It's not me. (Rory opens her door and we see Lane dancing in the room.) LORELAI: (to Lane) Where does your mother think you are? (Lane turns off the music.) LANE: Oh, on a park bench contemplating the reunification of the two Koreas. LORELAI: Not here, skanking to Rancid? LANE: Wouldn't be included. LORELAI: School! (Cut to exterior of the house. Lane, Lorelai, and Rory walk down the front steps and start to cross the yard. Lane waves as she runs off.) LANE: Bye. RORY: Bye. (Babette and Morey walk by. Morey is pulling a wagon with Cinnamon -- their cat --inside. The wagon has a covering like a baby carriage.) RORY: Wow, Cinnamon, riding in style. BABETTE: Yeah, Morey made it. Cinnamon's not walking good these days but she still likes her passeggiatas. That's Italian for 'a nice walk.' MOREY: (with an accent) Passeggiata. BABETTE: Oh God, he makes it sound so sexy. MOREY: Come on. LORELAI: (points to the covered area) What's that? BABETTE: Oh it's Cinnamon's private area. Sometimes she likes to be alone. She's just like Morey in that sense. (to Morey) Hey, say passaggiata again. MOREY: I can't do it on command, Babs. BABETTE: Oh, he's blushin'. God, I love a man that blushes! (BABETTE and MOREY walk away, pulling the wagon.) RORY: Okay, our town is just weird. LORELAI: Thank God. RORY: Bye. LORELAI: Bye. RORY: I'll see you later at school. LORELAI: For what? RORY: Mom, the bake sale! LORELAI: Ha! I got the vein in the forehead. Whoo! RORY: Sadist. (Cut to a busy street. People are walking by on the sidewalk. Rory is sitting on a bench. A bus pulls around the corner and stops in front of her. Dean is walking down the street and sees Rory get on the bus. He gets on and sits behind her. Rory opens her book and beings to read. She doesn't notice him.) DEAN: Hey. RORY: Aah! Morning. DEAN: Good book? RORY: I don't know yet. DEAN: I saw you standing in line so I thought I'd say hello. (pause) Hello? RORY: Hello. DEAN: Oh, hey, uh, thanks for helping me get the job at the store. I mean it's not a career or anything but it's got me solvent. RORY: Solvent's good. DEAN: Yeah, uh, are you always this serious? RORY: No. DEAN: So, uh, how long does it take you to get to school? RORY: Um...forty minutes if the bus driver's focused but longer if he's trying to win something on the radio. Hey, this bus is going to Hartford! DEAN: Yeah, I know. RORY: But you go to school here. You have to get off the bus! (calls to driver) Hey, he has to get off the bus! DEAN: Wait. You're forgetting something. (Bus stops.) DEAN: Buses make stops. Good-bye Lorelai Gilmore. (Dean gets off the bus.) (Cut to the inn where Michel is on the phone.) MICHEL: Independence Inn, Michel speaking. Yes, you are confirmed. Mm-hmm. Goodbye. (Michel hangs up the phone as a group of businessmen approach the counter.) MAN: Bonjour Monsieur. Vous êtes francais? Vous parlez francais? MICHEL: No, sorry. MAN: Parlez vous fracais? MICHEL: Sir, I'm just a simple country boy from Texas. I do not understand this francais business you're babbling about. LORELAI: Pardon (Lorelai pulls Michel aside.) LORELAI: He knows you're not from Texas. MICHEL: Smile when you say that. LORELAI: Michel, I told you there was going to be a French group here for a couple of days and it is your job to keep them happy. MICHEL: Lorelai, I don't know how many French people you've met over the years, but most of them are insufferable. LORELAI: Really? MICHEL: Mm-hm. That is why I left France. LORELAI: Huh. I thought it had something to do with the torches and the villagers. Michel, talk to them. MICHEL: Never. (pause) You are giving me that look aren't you? Your patented, "Do it or something unspeakable shall befall you" look. (sighs) Fine. I shall be French but I shall not be happy. LORELAI: Then you will be yourself. Good choice. (Michel goes back to the French group.) MICHEL: Bonjour messieurs. Je m'appelle Miche. Ce soir pour vous aider. MAN: (laughs) Vous avez faîtt un blague. Très drole! Très drole Michel! MICHEL: (to Lorelai) kll me now. (Cut to the bake sale at Chilton.) SOOKIE: OK-- we've got our French fantasies, American treats, and our Italian taste sensations. Well, what do you think? RORY: Amazing. LORELAI: Incredible. SOOKIE: It is good, isn't it? Well, final touch. (Sookie prepares to light a swan-shaped dessert on fre.) RORY: Oh, can I do that? SOOKIE: Whoa, honey, this is a more delicate procedure than you might think, OK? RORY: OK. SOOKIE: It takes an expert hand. (SOOKIE lights the tablecloth on fre. Lorelai fills a cup with lemondae from a nearby table and extinguishes the flames. The women at the lemonade table give her dirty looks. LORELAI: Um -- hi. Oh, well, gee...what is that, a dollar? Let me find you a dollar. You know what? I'll take two -- I'll drink one. (drinks) Mmm...tasty and flame-retardant. (Mr. Medina walks up to Lorelai.) MR. MEDINA: Very Henry the Eighth. LORELAI: Well we're not into subtle. MR. MEDINA: Good to see you, Lorelai. LORELAI: Good to see you, Mr. Medina. MR. MEDINA: Max. LORELAI: Mr. Medina. MR. MEDINA: Max. LORELAI: Mr. Medina. Meet Sookie, the cheft at the inn. Sookie, Mr. Medina. SOOKIE: What's your name again? LORELAI: Mr. Medina. SOOKIE: I know, you've said it like a zillion times. (to Mr. Medina) Hello. MR. MEDINA: Hello. Lorelai, could I borrow you for a second? LORELAI: Oh, yeah, sure. (to Sookie) Oh! Hey I'll be right back. (Lorelai and Mr. Medina walk away from the table.) MR. MEDINA: You know, Lorelai, I would love for the ice to thaw. LORELAI: There's no ice. MR. MEDINA: Well you repeated my full name four times. That's ice. LORELAI: No, that's not ice, it's wintry. MR. MEDINA: I was doing my job when I didn't let Rory take that test. I didn't like it but I had to do it. LORELAI: I know. MR. MEDINA: And I'd do it again. LORELAI: OK. MR. MEDINA: I really do think Rory's a great kid and I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure she gets through Chilton in one piece. LORELAI: I appreciate that. MR. MEDINA: And I'd like us to be friends. LORELAI: We are. Me too. MR. MEDINA: Yeah? LORELAI: Yeah. Really, truly, I swear. There's no more ice. We're walking in a pool of tepid water. MR. MEDINA: Good. LORELAI: Good. MR. MEDINA: I'm going to propose something here. I'm not sure how you're going to take it. LORELAI: Oh wow, intrigue. MR. MEDINA: I'd like to see you sometime. Away from the ivy, away from the gargoyles, away from here. LORELAI: Are you asking me out on a date. MR. MEDINA: Yes. LORELAI: Mm. Well, uh, I don't want to go out on a limb here, but I'm guessing if the headmaster won't let a kid be thirty seconds late for a test he'd probably frown on a teacher dating a mom. MR. MEDINA: I do my job well, I'm dedicated to my students, and there's nothing in the Chilton book of ethics that prohibits it. LORELAI: Yeah but I'm guessing it's sort of an unwritten rule. MR. MEDINA: Do you want to go? LORELAI: And Rory would probably freak at the thought. MR. MEDINA: Do you want to go? LORELAI: And the other parents would have a field day with this kind of thing. MR. MEDINA: Do you want to go? LORELAI: Yes. MR. MEDINA: Good. LORELAI: Wait. MR. MEDINA: What? LORELAI: No. MR. MEDINA: Why? LORELAI: I can't. It's wrong. It's weird. MR. MEDINA: I'll pay. LORELAI: You're on. MR. MEDINA: Really? LORELAI: I'm kidding. I don't know. You're Rory's teacher. MR. MEDINA: I know. LORELAI: Could you quit? Right, that's crazy. MR. MEDINA: OK, OK. Um...how about coffee? You like coffee? LORELAI: Only with my oxygen. MR. MEDINA: Can we drink some together? A sort of pre-date. Very casual, no strings, no obligations. We'll just see if it's even worth going down the road of including food in the deal. (whispers) Just coffee. (normal voice) Decaf? There's nothing safer than decaf. LORELAI: I'm going to be in town tomorrow because I take a class at Hartford State and there's a coffee shop across the street that I sometimes, almost all the time, go to around 4:00 and usually exactly 4:12. I could not stop a person from entering said establishment around that time, nor would I avoid them if I knew them if they did. MR. MEDINA: You know the wordsmith thing -- that's something we have in common. LORELAI: See you around, Max. MR. MEDINA: Indeed. You will. (Cut to Lane and Rory walking down the street.) LANE: Philadelphia. RORY: Philadelphia? If you could live in any city in the world you'd pick Philadelphia? LANE: M. Night Shymalan lives there. RORY: Who? LANE: The guy who directed 'The Sixth Sense.' RORY: But what would you do there? LANE: Hang out with M. Night Shymalan. RORY: OK, cross 'guidance counselor' off your list of potential career choices. (They meet Babette, Morey, and Cinnamon.) BABETTE: Lie still, baby doll, we're almost home. RORY: Hey Babette. BABETTE: Hey kids. (Cinnamon meows strangely.) RORY: Wow, that sounds bad. BABETTE: Cinnamon's dyspeptic. So's Morey. Too many clams. MOREY: Bad clams. (Babette, Morey, and Cinnamon continue walking.) BABETTE: This doesn't reflect well on Al's establishment. LANE: You had clams at Al's? RORY: Al's Pancake World? BABETTE: Yeah, well we had a coupon. RORY: Hmmm. (Rory and Lane resume walking down the street. Rory spots Dean in the grocery store where he is working.) RORY: Oh wow! The store! Hey, listen, I have to pick up some stuff, so -- LANE: What do you have to pick up? RORY: Just some...stuff. So I'll talk to you later tonight. LANE: I'll go in with you. RORY: Why? LANE: Because otherwise I'd have to go home. RORY: Home is good. LANE: My home? RORY: Yeah, actually I don't have to go in. LANE: OK. Then I guess I will go home. RORY: Great! Go, bye. LANE: Bye...freak. (Lane leaves. Rory walks into the store and watches Dean. He looks over and waves when he sees her. Rory ducks into an aisle and walks to the back of the store where Miss Patty is.) MISS PATTY: Rory! Hello! Try a plum They're better than sex. RORY: Um, no, thanks. MISS PATTY: Fresh fruit always has such a sensuality about it. Are you too young for this? RORY: Definitely. MISS PATTY: Well what are you here for honey? RORY: Oh well, I just -- (Rory looks over at Dean.) MISS PATTY: Oh, I see what you're here for. Well that wouldn't fit in a basket. No no no no no! RORY: Patty! It's not like that. He's just a person. MISS PATTY: A person? RORY: A boy-type person. MISS PATTY: Oh, my favorite kind. RORY: I really don't even know him. MISS PATTY: Oh, right. You don't know him? RORY: I don't. MISS PATTY: You said. RORY: Please don't say anything. MISS PATTY: I promise I won't tell a single soul that you don't know that young man. RORY: Thank you. MISS PATTY: You're welcome. (Rory walks away from Miss Patty. A store employee confronts Miss Patty, who has been sampling the produce.) EMPLOYEE: Excuse me, ma'am, what are you doing? MISS PATTY: Please, honey, don't call me ma'am. It makes me feel older than 25. Here, have a pea pod. EMPLOYEE: I assume that you're going to pay for the food you've consumed on the premises. MISS PATTY: Oh, so brusque. And you are? EMPLOYEE: I'm the new assistant manager here. MISS PATTY: Well listen here, my fine friend, who if you had a better hairstyle i might consider dating, I do this all the time. EMPLOYEE: Not from now on, I'm sorry. MISS PATTY: Oh, now, wait a minute here. I've been sampling food at this establishment for years. EMPLOYEE: The next time you put something in that mouth that doesn't belong there, I'm going to remove it and then call the police. (He takes the pea pod out of her hand and walks away. By now Rory is at the check-out counter. Dean walks over to the end of the counter.) CASHIER: Is this all you want, honey? A head of lettuce and a mouse trap? RORY: That should do it. DEAN: That's a couple of must-need items there. CASHIER: $2.27. RORY: I only have a dollar. DEAN: I could loan you the rest. RORY: Uh, no, I'll just take the lettuce. DEAN: Perfect. You could use half of it for a salad then use the other half to clobber the mouse with. (Rory starts to leave.) DEAN: Paper or plastic? RORY: I'm fine. (She leaves the store.) (Cut to Lorelai entering the coffee shop in Hartford. She sits at the counter near Mr. Medina.) MR. MEDINA: Lorelai? LORELAI: Max! Hi! MR. MEDINA: Small world, huh? LORELAI: Absolutely! What are you drinking? MR. MEDINA: Coffee. LORELAI: Plain coffee? MR. MEDINA: I wanted some cream but that prompted a very elaborate foam conversation. And the look of disapproval I got when I said I didn't want foam, just cream, rivaled the one I got from my dad when I told him I wanted to be a teacher. LORELAI: Wow, so it's been a tough outing for you, huh? MR. MEDINA: Well it's getting better. WAITRESS: What can I get you? LORELAI: Coffee, please. (The waitress goes to get Lorelai's coffee.) MR. MEDINA: So, here we are. LORELAI: Here we most certainly are. MR. MEDINA: Running into each other. LORELAI: Away from the school. MR. MEDINA: And its unique strictures. LORELAI: These things do happen. MR. MEDINA: Fate can be funny. LORELAI: Should we cut the cute and just get right to it? MR. MEDINA: I think we should date. LORELAI: Why? MR. MEDINA: Because I think we both want to. LORELAI: Well I want to be in the Bangles but that doesn't mean I quit my job and get a guitar and ruin my life to be a Bangle, does it? MR. MEDINA: The Bangles broke up. LORELAI: Yeah, that's not the point. MR. MEDINA: Well it's got to be part of the point if there's no band anymore. LORELAI: I repeat my question: 'why should we date?' MR. MEDINA: Because we're clearly attracted to each other. LORELAI: I'm attracted to pie. It doesn't mean I feel the need to date pie. MR. MEDINA: OK then because we are -- LORELAI: Yes? MR. MEDINA: -- of similar heights. LORELAI: Wow! Round one and already tapped. MR. MEDINA: Look I know that you are concerned about the appearance of us dating. LORELAI: Yes I am. MR. MEDINA: Well I can tell you that I am the soul of discretion when it comes to delicate relationships. LORELAI: Dated a lot of Chilton moms, huh? MR. MEDINA: No, I meant any relationships -- work, family. LORELAI: Oh so you have things to hide in all aspects of your life -- very interesting. MR. MEDINA: (to waitress) Do you have any hemlock back there? Arsenic, something quick? LORELAI: Do you like rap music? MR. MEDINA: Yeah. LORELAI: Me too. Italian food? MR. MEDINA: Yeah. LORELAI: Me too. You just telling me what I want to hear? MR. MEDINA: Yeah. LORELAI: I knew it! MR. MEDINA: Doesn't mean it doesn't coincide with how I really feel. LORELAI: Yeah but if you're telling me what you think I want to hear then I'm not really getting to know you. MR. MEDINA: And if I know what you want to hear that shows a level of understanding on my part that far exceeds your understanding of me. (Lorelai doesn't say anything). Who's the one laggin? LORELAI: Uh... MR. MEDINA: Wow, round one and already tapped! LORELAI: (seriously) Rory is my life. She's my pal, my everything. And I would never, ever do anything that would hurt her. MR. MEDINA: I understand. (A man sits down on the stool between them.) But Rory is not a baby anymore. LORELAI: Don't say that! She's eight! She's eight and her favorite hobby is making necklaces out of gum wrappers. MR. MEDINA: You could try stunting her growth, keeping her in a box, blwing cigarette smoke on her. (The man gives Mr. Medina a strange look.) MR. MEDINA: You are so taking this out of context. (The man moves to another seat. Mr. Medina moves into the seat next to Lorelai that the man vacated.) MR. MEDINA: OK, when my uncle was a young man, there was this girl who lived across the street from him and he was completely in love with her -- but he never talked to her. But he knew in his gut that this was the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. LORELAI: This is gonna be sad isn't it? MR. MEDINA: Let me finish. LORELAI: It's gonna be sad. MR. MEDINA: So anyhow my uncle watches this girl, waiting for the right moment to approach her. Next thing he knows, he gets drafted. LORELAI: Oh, going for Kleenex. MR. MEDINA: No. Now he thinks 'this is perfect. I'll come back, I'll have a career, I'll have served my country, I'll be worthy of her love.' When he gets back -- she's gone. Moved away. No one knew where and he never saw that girl again. Now my uncle, he didn't say much to me, but the one thing he did say was that if there's something in your gut that you know you feel is right you gotta go after it, no matter what. What do you say? (Lorelai sighs. She takes out a business card and writes on it.) LORELAI: Maybe dinner wouldn't be so bad. MR. MEDINA: Dinner? You mean we could sit together? Even drive together? (Lorelai tosses the card at Mr. Medina.) LORELAI: Just take the card. MR. MEDINA: I might frame the card. LORELAI: Just use the card. MR. MEDINA: I definitely will. (Mr. Medina gets up to leave.) LORELAI: Hey, that story about your uncle -- is that true? MR. MEDINA: (sighs) Goodbye Lorelai Gilmore. (Cut to Luke's cafe. Luke serves Lorelai and Sookie.) SOOKIE: Thank you. LORELAI: Thank you. (to Sookie) Life is a funny funny thing, huh? SOOKIE: Yeah I love that Jim Carrey. LORELAI: What? SOOKIE: Jim Carrey. He's just -- he's just -- funny. LORELAI: He is funny but I didn't mean funny, funny. I'm being philosophical. SOOKIE: Oh. Very serious face. Jean-Paul Sartre. LORELAI: I can't talk to you with that face. LUKE: How do you guys get any work done? SOOKIE: So why is life such a funy thing? LORELAI: I met this amazing guy. SOOKIE: Goody! LORELAI: Yeah there's goody stuff about it but there's baddy stuff too. He's a teacher at Chilton. Max -- you met him at the bake sale. SOOKIE: Oh! He looked good. LORELAI: Yeah. Right. He's so sexy and smart and funny and he likes coffee. SOOKIE: God, he sounds perfect for you. Did you get onions? LORELAI: No. SOOKIE: (calls to Luke in the kitchen) Hey Luke! You forgot the onions. LORELAI: I'm just so mixed up though. You know this is a real crossroads kind of situation.It's like 'to perm or not to perm.' I'm really confused. SOOKIE: For Heaven's sake. (Sookie goes around the counter to get the onions. She starts adding things -- onions and spices -- to the other customers' plates.) SOOKIE: Go ahead, I'm still listening. You were about to perm your hair. LORELAI: I just want to do the right thing. SOOKIE: I'm not sure I see what the problem is. LORELAI: Oh there are many problems. First -- I do not like to involve Rory in my personal life. I don't want her to have to deal with that. You know, I might bring some guy home and he might not be THE guy but then she gets all attached to him and then all of a sudden I decide that I don't like the way he eats or he hums incessantly or -- SOOKIE: Or the way he smacks his lips or how his hair isn't really his. LORELAI: Yeah. And then I break up with him and then Rory is the one who gets hurt. SOOKIE: I totally understand. LORELAI: This guy is her teacher. I mean, there's no way to keep him out of her life. She sees him every day. SOOKIE: (to a bearded customer) Are you the open-faced turkey? BEARDED CUSTOMER: Yep. SOOKIE: OK, I added a little fresh lemon and a little cayanne pepper. You're gonna plotz! (to Lorelai) You od know that Rory's not a baby anymore. LORELAI: I know, that's what he said. Maybe I'm being too serious, right? Maybe I should loosen the rules a bit. Plus, be great to get...you know. SOOKIE: What? LORELAI: You know. SOOKIE: No I don't. LORELAI: You know...he knows. SOOKIE: (to bearded customer) You know? BEARDED CUSTOMER: Yeah I know. (Luke sees Sookie behind his counter.) LUKE: Sookie! SOOKIE: Hey. I was just looking for your paprika. LUKE: What have I said about the counter? SOOKIE: I know. LUKE: How the counter is a sacred space. MY sacred space. You don't do yoga on the Dalai Lama's mat and you don't come behind my counter, period. Luke takes Sookie by the shoulders and walks her back to the other side of the counter.) SOOKIE: I was trying to help. LUKE: (to Lorelai) You bring her again and I want her on a leash. I mean it. SOOKIE: He does make a damn find burger though. LORELAI: He does at that. Alright I'm just going to keep it simple. I'll tell Rory. If there's even an ounce of weirdenss about it I'll cancel. SOOKIE: You haven't told Rory yet? LORELAI: No. SOOKIE: Oops. LORELAI: No, not oops. The timing hasn't been right. This is a very delicate, fragile situation. It's like one of your souffles. If you don't do it right it's a disaster. SOOKIE: And you have to order it 45 minutes in advance. LORELAI: Huh? SOOKIE: My souffle. LORELAI: Right, I wasn't but speaking directly about your souffle. I was speaking metaphorically. SOOKIE: Oh so you don't like my souffles? LORELAI: How DO we work together? (Rory rushes into the cafe.) RORY: Mom you better come. LORELAI: Honey, what's wrong? RORY: It's Cinnamon. (Cut to Lorelai and Rory pulling into their driveway. They cross the yard and go to Babette's. There is a Stars Hollow Animal Hospital van in the driveway. Inside Babette's house, Cinnamon's body is lying on the floor covered by a sheet. The vet is just standing up as Lorelai and Rory enter the house.) LORELAI: Babette? Honey? BABETTE: Oh, Lorelai. Come in, come in. She's gone. Cinnamon's gone. LORELAI: I'm so sorry. (Rory goes over to Morey and sits next to him.) RORY: Is there anything I can do for you, Morey? MOREY: This is life, Rory, it breaks your heart. BABETTE: She looked like she was sleeping. I thought she was asleep so I nudged her and she didn't wake. I gave her a push and she rolled off the couch and since I waxed the floor she went sh*t' across the room and then she knocked over the lamp and she still didn't move. I knew it was over. Oh, God, my baby. MOREY: Tell me it wasn't the -- BABETTE: Oh, Morey, don't do this to yourself. He thinks it was the clams. MOREY: She saw me eating them and she gave me that 'hey, man, what's up?' look and -- VET: It wasn't the clams. Morey, in human years this cat was 260 years old. LORELAI: That's a good, long life. VET: Listen, why don't you let me take her out to the van and then I'll get out of your way. BABETTE: Oh, no, stay. All of you, please stay. Cinnamon would want you here. RORY: We'll stay as long as you want. MOREY: I'll never eat clams again. RORY: Me either. (Rory pats Morey's arm.) (Time lapse. Babette's house is now full of mourners, with more arriving all the time.) LANE: They said that they rolled her body into a lamp. (Rory nods her head 'yes.') LANE: Did you laugh? (Rory shakes her head 'no.') LANE: Did you want to? (Rory nods her head 'yes.') RORY: But it's sad. LANE: Yeah, it's sad. (The bearded customer from the cafe walks by as Michel comes through the door.) MICHEL: Hello? Hello? Where is Lorelai? I'm dropping something off. Yoo-hoo, 'Hee-Haw' man, where is Lorelai Gilmore? LORELAI: Hey, hey, hey. Thank you. I could not get back to the inn. MICHEL: What, you are having a party and I was not invited? LORELAI: Sweetie, it's not a party, it's a wake. MICHEL: Oh, really? Who died? LORELAI: Their cat. MICHEL: You are mourning a cat? LORELAI: Yes. MICHEL: They lick their privates, these cats. LORELAI: Not the comforting chitchat we're looking for here. Goodbye. I'll talk to you later. Thank you. (Lorelai pushes Michel out the door just as Miss Patty is pushing her way in.) MISS PATTY: Babette, Morey, I came as soon as I heard. Oh, darling, what do you need? (Miss Patty grabs Babette and hugs her and presses Babette's head into her large chest.) BABETTE: A little air, honey! MISS PATTY: Oh -- oh! (Outside, Sookie and Luke arrive at the same time, both carrying food.) SOOKIE: Oh, Luke. LUKE: Sookie. SOOKIE: What'cha got in the bag? LUKE: Bricks. SOOKIE: Yeah, good one. LORELAI: Oh, bless you both! Everyone's starved, come in. (Sookie and Luke both try to go through the door at the same time and collide. They back up and Sookie rushes in before Luke.) LORELAI: OK, how should we do this? SOOKIE: Well we need a flow for the room so there's no bottlenecks. People coming in, they're gonna want a beverage. Put 'em on the first table then the smaller hors d'oeuvres next to that, leaving one hand free to greet the people. Then, back there, set up plates and cutlery. First the salads, then the meat dishes, then desserts on the piano bench. How does that sound? Luke dumps his bags of food on a table in the middle of the room.) LUKE: Dig in! (People rush for the food.) (Time lapse. Rory answers a knock at the door. It's Dean with his arms full of drinks. He has to duck to get in under the low door frame.) DEAN: Oh, hi, wow. I wasn't expecting you. RORY: Or me you. I mean, you, me. I mean, come in. (Dean takes the drinks into the other room. Lorelai walks by.) LORELAI: Do you know him? RORY: No. LORELAI: No? RORY: Well, he goes to my old school, so I see him there sometimes but I go to Chilton now. LORELAI: Thanks for the update. RORY: You're welcome. (Lorelai leaves and Dean comes back.) DEAN: Do you have a second? RORY: No. I have gum. DEAN: No, thanks, uh, look -- RORY; I have to get back. DEAN: Oh, sure. I'll see you later. (Dean leaves. While watching him out the window, Rory sees Mr. Medina at her door.) RORY: Mom? Isn't that -- LORELAI: Oh, no. RORY: That's Mr. Medina. LORELAI: Tonight's Thursday! RORY: Well, am I in trouble? Did the school call or something? LORELAI: No, no you're great. I -- um -- let me just come back in just one second. RORY: Wait -- what's going on? LORELAI: Let me tell you in a minute. RORY: Tell me now. LORELAI: Max is here -- RORY: Max? LORELAI: Max is here to pick me up. RORY: Pick you up for -- oh. LORELAI: I'm gonna go talk to him real quick and I'm gonna be right back. (Rory looks upset. Lorelai runs outside and over to her own porch where Mr. Medina is still knocking.) LORELAI: Hey! MR. MEDINA: Oh, hi. LORELAI: Hi. MR. MEDINA: I was knocking but no one answered. LORELAI: I know. I was at the neighbors' house. MR. MEDINA: You're cancelling. LORELAI: I know it's totally last minute. MR. MEDINA: I'm heartbroken. LORELAI: I just completely forgot about our date. MR. MEDINA: And forgettable. LORELAI: No you're memorable. I've been memorabling all week. It's just -- We had a little emergency. MR. MEDINA: Rory, is Rory OK? LORELAI: No, Rory's fine. It's the neighbors' cat. MR. MEDINA: The neighbors' -- LORELAI: -- cat. She died. MR. MEDINA: She died. LORELAI: This was a very fat, very beloved cat. (pause) MR. MEDINA: Lorelai. I like you but I don't want to force something on you that you don't want so -- (walks away) (Lorelai runs after him.) LORELAI: No, no, no. Wait. No, Max, you're not forcing anything on me. I am telling the truth about the cat. MR. MEDINA: Lorelai. LORELAI: Please don't read that much into this. Call me and we'll reschedule. I promise that's what I want. MR. MEDINA: You're sure? LORELAI: Cross my heart and hope no other neighborhood pets die on that day. MR. MEDINA: OK, I'll call. LORELAI: Good. MR. MEDINA: Sorry about, uh -- LORELAI: Cinnamon. MR. MEDINA: Cinnamon. (Mr. Medina gets into his car and drives away.) LORELAI: Stupid cat! You couldn't have held on one more day? (Cut to the wake.) SOOKIE: Is that meatloaf? LUKE: Uh-huh. SOOKIE: You use ketchup? LUKE: You gonna make fun of my mother too? SOOKIE: Sorry. You know, my real-fruit puffs would compliment that dish quite well. LUKE: It's fine on its own, thank you. SOOKIE: Right. (pause) LUKE: OK, toss some on the plate. SOOKIE: Can I make a pretty design, maybe make some layers? LUKE: Sookie! SOOKIE: Right. Tossing them on. Got it. (Lorelai comes back in.) LORELAI: You guys, have you seen Rory anywhere? LUKE: Yeah, I think she headed that way. (points) LORELAI: OK, thanks. (The grocery store employee from earlier approaches Miss Patty.) EMPLOYEE: Excuse me, ma'am? MISS PATTY: Well if it isn't Kirk the jerk. EMPLOYEE: I want to apologize for what happened at the store yesterday. MISS PATTY: I'm listening. EMPLOYEE: I wasn't aware that you were THE Miss Patty. The owner tells me that you're one of our best customers and you can put anything into that mouth that you want to. Those were his words. I could have paraphrased them. MISS PATTY: Stop sweating. And close your pores, Kirky, I always forgive. EMPLOYEE: Thank you. MISS PATTY: Once. (Lorelai fins Babette in the kitchen cleaning out a cabinet full of pill bottles.) LORELAI: Hey, Babette. BABETTE: Oh, hello, sugar. Can I get you something? LORELAI: No, I'm fine. I'm looking for Rory. BABETTE: Oh, I think she might be in the bathroom. LORELAI: Thanks. (starts to leave then stops) Can I help you with something? BABETTE: Oh, no. I thought I'd just get some of this stuff packed away. LORELAI: It's like a scene from a kitty version of 'Valley of the Dolls.' BABETTE: Yeah. You never realize how old they actually are 'til you look in the medicine cabinet. LORELAI: Yeah. BABETTE: These were for her heartworms, for her thyroid, her kidneys, for the rash she got from taking these, and these were for the tic she developed from the stuff for the rash. And these -- oh jeez, these are mine. Damn, I'm gonna miss that old broad. LORELAI: I know. BABETTE: You know, I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself now. You live to take care of your kids. LORELAI: I know, sweetie, but you gave her everything that you had. BABETTE: I know. She was so tiny when I got her. She could sleep in my shoe. LORELAI: The other day I came across a hat that I made for Rory. It was like a doll hat. BABETTE: Oh, they grow up so fast. LORELAI: And then they take your clothes. BABETTE: I guess eventually you have to move on. Figure out what your life is going to be when you're not busy taking care of somebody else. Jeez, look at this place. Not a clean glass in sight! LORELAI: Let me help you with that. (They start to wash the glasses but the sink is too low for Lorelai. Babette gets a stool for her.) BABETTE: Here, sugar, use this. Morey sits on it when he helps me. LORELAI: How does Morey get around in here? BABETTE: Oh, just fine. He had a couple of concussions his first year here but he never complains. He's just the best thing. I don't know what I'd do without him. (voice breaks) LORELAI: Oh, Babette. What do you mean 'without him'? BABETTE: I saw on Oprah a few weeks ago. She had on couples who lost a child. Most of the marriages went belly-up for the pain of it all. Even though they loved each other. LORELAI: Babette, that is not gonna happen to you. BABETTE: I never thought a man would ever even want me. LORELAI: I know the feeling. BABETTE: Oh, please, with that ass? Gimme a break. LORELAI: I mean want me for more than my ass. Me -- for me, the whole package. Annoying neuroses and all. BABETTE: You'll find him. It might even be that stud who drove out of here in a Mustang. LORELAI: Did you see him? BABETTE: Yeah, what a jaw. LORELAI: He's got a great jaw. BABETTE: How is he in the sack? LORELAI: I haven't even gone out with him yet. BABETTE: Will you tell me when how he is when you do? LORELAI: I'll call you during the cigarette. (They hug. Lorelai hits her head on a low-hanging overhead lamp. They hear [iano music from the other room.) BABETTE: Oh -- that's Cinnamon's song. (Cut to the living room. Everyone is seated or standing quietly listening to Morey playing the piano. Miss Patty is beating on a drum. Babette goes over to sit with Morey. Lorelai finds Sookie in the crowd.) LORELAI: Oh I can't find Rory anywhere. SOOKIE: I'm sure she's around. LORELAI: Max showed up for the date that I forgot about and she saw him. SOOKIE: And you haven't told her. LORELAI: No. SOOKIE: Oops. LORELAI: Stop with the 'oops.' SOOKIE: OK, calm down. It's not that big of a deal. LORELAI: Her teacher showed up on her porch to take out her mother. SOOKIE: She'll understand. You're crazy. She knows that. LORELAI: Enough with the comforting, Sookie. SOOKIE: Sorry. (Rory is outside in Babette's yard, surrounded by gnomes. Dean walks up to her.) DEAN: Hey. RORY: Jeez, you scared me. DEAN: Yeah, uh, look. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. RORY: For what? DEAN: Well I've been kind of bugging you lately. Uh, I thought -- I don't know -- I thought that maybe you liked me. But it's obvious that you're not interested so I just wanted to say that I get it and I'm not gonna bother you anymore. (Dean starts to leave. Rory gets up and follows him.) RORY: Wait! I AM interested. DEAN: You are? RORY: Yes. I gotta go. (Rory leaves and Dean smiles. As Rory reaches the door Lorelai comes out.) LORELAI: Oh! Finally. I've been looking everywhere for you. RORY: Well you found me. LORELAI: Listen, I have some explaining to do. OK. So sit down in that tiny little chair and I'm gonna do it right now. (Rory sits.) That man on the porch was your teacher. RORY: Mom, I'm a little behind in school but not so far behind that I don't know who the teacher is. So? LORELAI: So -- um -- he and I were going to sort of hang out together. RORY: On a date. LORELAI: No, on a -- something that could appear like a date to the untrained eye. RORY: To your daughter's eye? LORELAI: It was a date. RORY: How long have you been dating him? LORELAI: I haven't. This was gonna be the first time. RORY: And when were you planning on telling me about this -- your wedding? LORELAI: No -- by the rehearsal dinner at least. RORY: He's my teacher. LORELAI: I know. RORY: He teaches me things every day in a very small classroom with a lot of other kids who probably won't be high-fiving me when they find this out. LORELAI: I knw, sweetie, and I told him this was one of the things I was concerned about. RORY: And? LORELAI: And he thought we could be discreet. RORY: Unbelievable! LORELAI: Are you mad? RORY: Yes! LORELAI: Alright. Because I'm dating him? RORY: Because you lied to me. LORELAI: I kept information from you. RORY: Information that I should have had. LORELAI: Information that would have come out eventually. Like the Iran-Contra scandal. RORY: So you're Oliver North. LORELAI: No, I'm Fawn Hall. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: Well, she was much prettier. RORY: I just can't believe that you didn't tell me about this. Why wouldn't you tell me? LORELAI: 'Cause I thought you were going to take it bad. Thank God I was wrong. (pause) OK, OK. Listen, I'm sorry. I won't date him. I promise. RORY: I'm not saying that you can't date him. It's just -- this is weird. I mean -- there's a million guys in this world and you end up with Mr. Medina. LORELAI: You think I don't get the weirdness factor? Believe me, the last thing I intended to do was date your teacher. RORY: I believe you. LORELAI: I really like him, Rory. I can't help it. And it's been a really long time since I've felt like this. You can't always control who you're attracted to, you know. I think the whole Angelina Jolie/Billy Bob Thronton thing really proves that. And I know you don't understand this now but you wil someday. You'll meet some great guy and he'll make your head all foggy and you won't know what to do with yourself. (sighs) Oh, sweetie, I won't keep anything from you again. OK? I promise. From now on every aspect of my life is an open book to you. RORY: That's OK. LORELAI: Really, I'm not even going to get dressed until I tell you what I'm thinking of wearing. RORY: Fair enough. LORELAI: OK, tomorrow I'm thinking the purple tiger top, the black leather skirt, the panda bear underwear. RORY: Oh, good. LORELAI: But of course I'm totally open to suggestions. RORY: Here's one: get some help. (Lorelai and Rory are leaving Babette's. Babette and Morey walk them out.) LORELAI: Let us know if we can do anything. BABETTE: Oh, you've done too much already. LORELAI: Good-night, Babette. (Lorelai hugs Babette.) BABETTE: Good-night, sugar. RORY: Good-night, Morey. (Rory hugs Morey.) MOREY: Stay cool, Rory. BABETTE: It's getting late. MOREY: Let's stay outside a while, baby. Look for the Big Dipper. BABETTE: OK, I'd like that. (Morey puts his arm around Babette's shoulders and they watch the sky.) (The phone rings as Rory and Lorelai walk in their front door.) LORELAI: Hello. EMILY: I've been trying to get you all afternoon. LORELAI: Mom? EMILY: Yes. LORELAI: Hi. EMILY: You already said that. LORELAI: But someone hasn't. EMILY: Hello. LORELAI: There we go. EMILY: You are impossible to reach. LORELAI: Well there's no messages on the machine, Mom. EMILY: I don't leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine I'd talk to my VCR. Where were you? LORELAI: At a wake. EMILY: A what? LORELAI: A wake...a funeral. EMILY: A funeral? Whose? LORELAI: It was for the neighbors' -- (Rory motions Lorelai not to say it.) LORELAI: -- cat. (Lorelai mouths 'what?' Emily doesn't say anything.) LORELAI: Mom? EMILY: Hold on. I'm looking up anyuresm in our medical dictionary to see if I just had one. LORELAI: I just wanted to be honest with you, Mom. Silly me. EMILY: A cat? LORELAI: Yeah, a cat. It was a cat's funeral. EMILY: You skipped your own cousin's funeral for a cat's funeral? LORELAI: Not my cousin, mom. My father's grandmother's sister's girl who I've never -- EMILY: You said you couldn't be away from the inn. LORELAI: Well I couldn't at the time bt I worked it out. EMILY: For a cat? LORELAI: It's late. I have a big day tomorrow, Mom. EMILY: Oh, what? You're going to a racoon's wedding? LORELAI: Good-night, Mother. EMILY: Good-night. (Lorelai hangs up.) LORELAI: Aaagh! She's working for a sedative manufacturer. Keeping that demand sky-high. RORY: You shouldn't have told her. LORELAI: Well I don't know what to tell and what to hide. RORY: Yeah. LORELAI: So we never did quite settle the whole dating-your-teacher issue. I won't go out with him if you don't want me to. RORY: You can go out with whoever you want. LORELAI: It's whoever we want. RORY: Well I'm certainly not going to go out with him 'cause that would be really weird. LORELAI: But I mean it. I won't see him if you don't want me to. RORY: Huh. LORELAI: You know, if there's anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, big or small, then he's out of there. RORY: Good to know. LORELAI: Because you know it's not like I'm desperate. I mean, there are plenty of other guys out there. RORY: Sure are. LORELAI: And it's not like I have to ask your permission. I mean, this is a courtesy. RORY: OK. (Rory goes into her room and closes the door. On the other side of the door, Lorelai raises her voice to be heard.) LORELAI: OK, so I'm going to be up for a while, if you want to get back to me on this. RORY: I know where you are. (Lorelai starts to leave. Rory opens the door and sticks her head out.) RORY: Hey, do you think you could keep him out really late on Thursday night because I have this oral exam on Friday that I'd really love him to sleep through. LORELAI: I'll do my best. The End	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x06 - Cinnamon's Wake"}	foreverdreaming
Kiss and Tell (Lorelai and Rory are walking across the town center. The town is decorated for fall.) LORELAI: One of us has to do laundry tonight. RORY: Why? LORELAI: Because I haven't had any clean underwear for three days. RORY: So right now under your skirt you're wearing...? LORELAI: Not underwear. RORY: Mom! LORELAI: It's kinda nice, actually -- breezy. RORY: My role model, ladies and gentlemen. LORELAI: How come you haven't run out yet? RORY: I don't know. I guess I have more underwear than you. LORELAI: That's not true. You have less. Have you been doing laundry without me? RORY: No. LORELAI: Rory? RORY: OK, one load. LORELAI: And you didn't even ask if I had stuff to throw in? RORY: It was a big load. There wasn't any room. LORELAI: I'm crushed. I'm bleeding. Get me a tourniquet. Oh, no, they're dirty 'cause Rory wouldn't wash them with her stuff. RORY: I'm sorry. I'll do another load tonight, I promise. LORELAI: Never mind. I'll do my own laundry. RORY: Fine, even better. LORELAI: I hate doing laundry. Maybe I'll just buy new underwear. (They walk by Miss Patty's dance class having a dress rehearsal for a Thanksgiving dance outside.) MISS PATTY: And flutter, flutter, flutter, flutter, flutter...and leaves. Where are my leaves? I got pumpkins, I got Pilgrims, I got no leaves. (Rory and Lorelai enter Luke's cafe.) TAYLOR: Every other store in town has fall decorations. LUKE: Hoorah for the mob mentality. TAYLOR: We're talking a few streamers and a paper turkey. How's it gonna hurt to have a paper turkey? LUKE: No turkey, no squash, no pumpkins. Nothing colored orange. TAYLOR: OK, you don't like orange. That's fine. Autumn has many varied hues to toy with. LORELAI: Excuse me, can we get some coffee please? RORY: And a muffin? LORELAI: Warmed? TAYLOR: This is the Autumn Festival. Your show is right across the street from the Horn of Plenty! You're right smack dab in the middle of everything. You have to decorate. LUKE: I don't have to do anything but serve food. LORELAI: And coffee! RORY: And muffins! LUKE: Taylor, I'm tired of having this conversation with you every year. LORELAI: Yoo-hoo! TAYLOR: You have lived in Stars Hollow for a long time, young man. It's time you became one of us. (Lorelai waves money to get Luke's attention.) LORELAI: Whoo! LUKE: Sorry, I guess my pod's defective. RORY: Hey. My mom's not wearing any underwear. LORELAI: Oh! RORY: Well you aren't. TAYLOR: You're just being selfish, Luke. LORELAI: Still they don't notice. I can't take it anymore. TAYLOR: We're talking about the spirit of fall. (Lorelai gets the coffee herself and lifts the cover off the muffins. LORELAI: What kind of muffin do you want? RORY: Blueberry. LUKE: You know where you can stick the spirit of fall? (Luke hands Lorelai a utensil to pick up the muffins.) LUKE: Here, don't use your hands. TAYLOR: I don't think you're taking me seriously. LUKE: What gave you that idea? (to Lorelai, who is leaving) No tip? LORELAI: Oh, yeah, here's a tip -- serve your customers. LUKE: Here's another -- don't sit on any cold benches. (Lorelai and Rory walk out the door.) LUKE: Taylore, I swear to God, if you pull those Pilgrims out of your pocket one more time... TAYLOR: I'm just doing it -- LUKE No. (Cut to the street. Rory is geting off the bus from Hartford. She walks into the grocery store. Taylor and Dean are looking at a stack of canned goods.) TAYLOR: I don't know. It doesn't really look like the Mayflower. DEAN: Well we could put a sign on it or something. TAYLOR: I don't know. DEAN: So do you want to go back to the Plymouth Rock idea? (Taylor sighs. Dean looks around and sees Rory.) TAYLOR: We'll just live with it that way for a day. (Dean walks over to Rory, who is pretending to be interested in cornstarch.) DEAN: You know, you can get two for three bucks. RORY: Oh really? Excellent deal. DEAN: You just had a desperate need for some cornstarch? RORY: Yes. I have very important thickening needs, thank you. Nice apron. DEAN: Nice uniform. RORY: Well, you know, I sewed the buttons on with silver thread so that sets me apart from the crowd. (pause) I guess I should get home. DEAN: Wait a sec. You want a pop or something? RORY: A pop? DEAN: Give me a break. In Chicago they call it pop. RORY: Well in Connecticut we call it free soda. And yes, thank you. (They walk over to the soda. Dean hides two cans behind his back.) DEAN: Alright, guess which is in each hand and you get the soda. RORY: OK, the whole concept a free soda is that it's free, you don't have to work for it. DEAN: Sorry you gotta sing for your supper. RORY: Or your soda. DEAN: Guess. RORY: OK, in this hand you have -- (As Rory reaches for the soda behind Dean's back, Dean leans down and kisses her. When he pulls back, Rory is stunned.) RORY: Thank you. (Rory runs out of the store, down the street, and into Mrs. Kim's antique store.) RORY: Lane? Lane? LANE: What's wrong? RORY: I got kissed! And I shoplifted. (Rory is still holding the box of cornstarch.) LANE: Are you serious? Who kissed you? RORY: Dean. LANE: The new kid? RORY: Yes. LANE: You got the new kid? Oh my God! RORY: It happened so fast. I was just standing there -- LANE: Where? RORY: Doose's Market. LANE: He kissed you in the market? RORY: On aisle three. LANE: By the pest spray? RORY: Yes. LANE: Oh, that's a good aisle. RORY: What defines a good aisle? LANE: An aisle where you get kissed by the new kid is a good aisle. RORY: Oh my God. I can't breathe. LANE: OK, sit down. RORY: No I can't sit down. I'm too -- Oh my God, He kissed me! (Mrs. Kim comes up to the girls.) MRS. KIM: Who kissed you? LANE: The Lord, Mama. MRS. KIM: Oh, OK then. (Mrs. Kim moves away from the girls.) LANE: So? Tell me everything. RORY: So I go into the store and he offers me a soda. And then he puts two behind his back and he asks me to pick one and then he kissed me. LANE: I'm so jealous! That's it, I've got to get some dumb, ugly friends. RORY: I have to go tell my mom. LANE: Call me later. RORY: OK. (Rory starts to leave then stops.) LANE: What's wrong? RORY: I can't. LANE: You can't leave? It's sing your favorite hymn night at the Kim house. Make a run for it. RORY: My mom doesn't know about Dean. LANE: So tell her. RORY: The last time the subject of boys came up it got very ugly. LANE: Well that was different. She thought you were gonna to quit school over a guy. RORY: Yes, over Dean. LANE: OK, fine, but she doesn't have to know it was him. RORY: She'll know. LANE: How? RORY: She's Lorelai, she'll know. What do I do? LANE: Well maybe she'll be more open to the concept now that you're in school and doing so well and everything. RORY: Maybe. LANE: Try it. RORY: OK. I gotta go. LANE: Hey, was it great? RORY: It was perfect. LANE: Wow. RORY: Yeah. (Rory leaves.) (Cut to Lorelai's kitchen. She's lying half on the floor, half in the empty refrigerator, talking on the phone.) LORELAI: Yeah, can you hear that? (pause) No, no, it's higher, it's like a high-pitched kind of an "EEEEEE!" sound. It started last week but it was lower and it only happened when we opened the door and now it's higher and it's on all the time so I think it's really, uh, growing in confidence. (pause) OK, look, I've already told this to three other people so could you just please tell me what is wrong with this fridge? (pause) I'm not going to make the noise again. (pause) I'm not --- EEEEEE! (pause) Look, Jerry, I don't have a lot of pride but I do have enough that I do not want to make that noise again, so could you please, tell me what is wrong with the fridge or connect me with someone who can? (pause) Thank you. Hello...Rusty, great. Listen, my fridge is making this weird sound. It's like a high-pitched -- you know what -- actually, is Jerry still there? (pause) OK, have him make the sound. He knows it. I'll wait. (pause) I know! It does sound bad. (pause) OK,here is the deal. You will send someone out here, tomorrow, between the hours of eight and nine, because I work and I can't wait four hours for one of you guys to show up. (pause) Great! Good-bye. (While Lorelai is on the phone, Rory goes into her room and places the box of cornstarch on her dresser where she can see it then returns to the kitchen.) RORY: So are they coming tomorrow? LORELAI: Nope. Monday, between three and eight. I am completely useless. RORY: Sorry. LORELAI: Oh my God! Look at this place. It's a sty! Now I'm crabby. I'm crabby and useless. Stupid fridge! Stupid fridge guys! I hate my life. (Cut to the antique store. Lorelai enters.) LORELAI: Hello! Hello! (Mrs. Kim stands up from behind the counter.) MRS. KIM: Yes. LORELAI: Oh God! Quite an entrance. Jeez, my heart. MRS. KIM: Rory's not here. LORELAI: No, I know. I came to pick up that rocker that I bought a couple weeks ago. MRS. KIM: Six weeks ago. LORELAI: Oh, well, OK. Well, that's a couple times three. That's six. (no response) Math humor. Not big with a lot of people. Don't feel bad. (Mrs. Kim walks around the store looking for the chair. Lorelai follows.) MRS. KIM: This is not a storage facility. LORELAI: I know, I'm sorry. MRS. KIM: This is a furniture store. Furniture comes in, people buy, then it goes out. LORELAI: Right. MRS. KIM: Except when Lorelai Gilmore buys. Then furniture stays here for six weeks. LORELAI: How about I pay you extra? MRS. KIM: I don't want you to pay me extra. I want you to pick up the thing you paid for in the first place. (Mrs. Kim finds the rocker.) MRS. KIM: Here. LORELAI: Huh, I remember it smaller. MRS. KIM: It's been six weeks. Maybe it grew. LORELAI: Right, well, once again, I'm very sorry. I've just been very busy. MRS. KIM: Maybe you should be less busy. Then you can remember to pick up chairs. LORELAI: Right. Absolutely. Smell a rose, got it. MRS. KIM: And then you could keep your daughter from running around kissing boys. LORELAI: What? MRS. KIM: Lane is a young, impressionable girl. She doesn't need to hear about your daughter's kissing. LORELAI: Are the lids tight on the paint remover -- because you're sounding a little loopy to me. MRS. KIM: Loopy? What's loopy? LORELAI: Rory's not kissing anybody. MRS. KIM: Yes she is. She came in here and told Lane she kissed a boy in the grocery store. The grocery store! Where we buy our food. LORELAI: This does not make any -- she kissed a boy in the grocery store? MRS. KIM: Yes, yes, yes. The boy in the grocery store. Kiss, kiss, kiss. LORELAI: I'm sorry. I didn't know. (sadly) She didn't tell me. (pause) I have to go. (Lorelai quickly leaves the store.) MRS. KIM: You left your chair! (sighs) (Cut to the town center. Rory and Lane are dressed like Pilgrim women and are working at the canned goods drive.) LANE: OK, just one more time. RORY: I've been telling you this story for an hour. It doesn't get dirty. LANE: I can't help it. I'm obsessed. I'm totally living vicariously through you. RORY: Why? You got kissed last weekend. Remember? You told me. That guy your parents set you up with. The one with the Lincoln Continental. What's his name? Patrick Cho! LANE: OK, let's do a little compare and contrast here. You get kissed on the mouth by a cute, cool, sexy guy you really like. And I get kissed on the forehead by a theology major in a Members-Only jacket who truly believes that rock music leads to hard drugs. RORY: Fair enough. You can live through me. But just remember that I have no idea what I'm doing. LANE: I'm well aware of that. That's why I've been diligently gathering information for us. RORY: What kind of information? LANE: Well, let's see. Dean's from Chicago, which you know. RORY: I do. LANE: He likes Nick Drake and Liz Phair and the Sugarplastic and he's deathly allergic to walnuts. RORY: Walnuts -- bad. Got it. LANE: Now, he had a girlfriend in Chicago. RORY: A girlfriend? LANE: Her name's Beth and they went out for about a year but they split amicably before he left and now she's dating his cousin. Which he doesn't feel too weird about because he doesn't think they were really in love. RORY: Beth. LANE: I wouldn't worry about it. RORY: How'd you get all this information? LANE: Through his best friend, who, by the way, is really cool. So once you get settled with Dean do you think you could ask him about Todd? RORY: Oh, absolutely. So, Beth, huh? I hate the name Beth. It's so...Beth. LANE: Now, Todd also said that Dean hasn't been able to talk about anything but you for weeks! (They giggle and Rory kisses Lane's forehead.) LANE: Stop it, you're giving me Patrick Cho flashbacks. (They laugh.) (Cut to Luke's. Luke is serving Miss Patty and a female customer seated with her.) MISS PATTY: Oh, Luke, the food here is lovely but you know what would make it even better? LUKE: Let me guess: some autumn festival decorations? MISS PATTY: Well food without ambience isn't really food, is it? LUKE: More iced tea, Patty? MISS PATTY: Oh, no, thank you. It's much too depressing in here for tea. LUKE: You realize Taylor's a head case, right? MISS PATTY: Yes, but at least he's a festive one. LUKE: Just eat. (Lorelai is sitting at a table watching Rory and Lane out the window.) LUKE: Coffee? (no answer) Aw, come on. Are you mad at me too? I mean, a man can't choose whether or not he wants a picture of a fat, stupid bird on his wall? My God, that's the reason the damn Pilgrims came here in the first place. LORELAI: Luke, I wasn't snubbing you. I didn't hear you and now I'm concerned about you. LUKE: Sorry, just feeling a little persecuted lately. Coffee? LORELAI: Please. LUKE: You OK? LORELAI: Yes, I'm fine. LUKE: You don't look fine. LORELAI: Well thank you. LUKE: I just meant you look concerned. LORELAI: I'm preoccupied. LUKE: You look concerned. LORELAI: Well I'm not. LUKE: Fine, you just look it. LORELAI: Hey, you know some streamers would look so great in here. LUKE: OK, I'm done. LORELAI: Thank you. (Luke walks away. Rory rushes in and sits down.) RORY: Sorry, sorry, sorry. LORELAI: Oh, hey. Save your apologies for the Indians, missy. RORY: People are really in a giving mood today. The horn of plenty is packed. LORELAI: That's great. Do you want some coffee? RORY: Oh, no, I'll just have a sip of yours. I have to get right back. LORELAI: Oh, really? I thought we were having lunch today. RORY: I can't. We're one Pilgrim short. I only have a couple minutes. LORELAI: Oh. You've been really busy lately. RORY: Yeah. I guess it's that end-of-the-year rush LORELAI: I mean, we haven't even really talked in a couple of days. RORY: What do you want to talk about? LORELAI: I don't know. Anything. RORY: OK. Did you read that article in the newspaper about the polar ice caps melting? LORELAI: Yeah, yeah. Ooh big deal. RORY: Fine. You pick the subject. LORELAI: Oh, OK, great. I was watching General Hospital the other day and you know, they have a new Lucky 'cause the old Lucky went to play something where he could have a real name. So the old Lucky had this girlfriend, Liz, who thought that he died in a fre. So then they bring on this new Lucky and you're all like "OK, I know that's not the old Lucky because the new Lucky has way more hair gel issues" but still, Liz was so upset about his supposed death that you could not wait to see them kiss, you know? RORY: When do you have time to watch General Hospital? LORELAI: OK, let's get back to the point. What do you think about the whole Liz/Lucky kissing thing? RORY: I think they're actors being paid to play a part so it's nice that they're living up to their obligations. LORELAI: Hmm. Rory -- RORY: Look, can we finish this very meaningful conversation later? I promised Lane I'd get right back. LORELAI: OK, I'll see you later. RORY: OK. Bye. LORELAI: Bye. (Rory leaves quickly. Luke comes back to the table.) LUKE: I'm not gonna say you look concerned. LORELAI: I'm not gonna talk about how good you'd look dressed like one of the guys from 'The Crucible.' LUKE: Fair enough. (Lorelai goes to the market and sees Dean working. She hides in an aisle and watches him bag groceries. Luke comes in, spots Lorelai, and walks up behind her.) LUKE: Hey. LORELAI: (startled) Oh, God! What are you doing? LUKE: What are you doing? LORELAI: I asked you first. LUKE: I ran out of cream. LORELAI: Yeah me too. LUKE: What are you starin' at? LORELAI: Nothing. Don't look, don't look. LUKE: What is wrong with you today? LORELAI: Rory got kissed. LUKE: What? LORELAI: Rory had her first kiss and that guy did it. LUKE: Ah. LORELAI: Yeah. LUKE: The new kid. LORELAI: Yep. (Luke laughs.) LORELAI: Oh look at him. Look how smug he is. LUKE: He's bagging groceries. It's hard to be smug bagging groceries. LORELAI: Oh look how he just handled those lemons. LUKE: What are you talking about? LORELAI: He threw them in the bag. Not tossed them or placed them but threw them like they were nothing to him. LUKE: They're lemons. LORELAI: They're symbolic. LUKE: OK. We need to get you out of here. LORELAI: No. That' Lothario over there has wormed his way into my daughter's heart and mouth and for that he must die! LUKE: That's it, let's go. LORELAI: No. LUKE: You're not going to kll the bag boy. LORELAI: Why not? LUKE: It's double coupon day. You'll bring down the town. (Luke drags Lorelai out of the store.) LORELAI: OK, OK. I'm out. Stop pushing me. LUKE: What are you thinking spying on that kid like that? LORELAI: I don't know. I just wanted to see him. I mean I've seen him already but that was before he was -- LUKE: Rory's boyfriend? LORELAI: Shush, you. LUKE: She's growing up. LORELAI: I know. LUKE: There's nothing you can do about that. LORELAI: OK, Mr. Reality, break into somebody's else's house. LUKE: Sorry. LORELAI: Why didn't she tell me? LUKE: What? LORELAI: Why didn't Rory tell me about the kiss? LUKE: Maybe she didn't know you'd take it so well. LORELAI: Want to hear something crazy? LUKE: 'Cause all the talk up until now has been so normal. LORELAI: He kind of looks like Christopher. LUKE: The grocery kid? LORELAI: Yeah. He looks like Christopher. LUKE: And Christopher is Rory's dad? LORELAI: The hair, the build, something about the eyes. He reminds me of Christopher. LUKE: Well that's not too surprising. LORELAI: You're going to quote Freud to me? 'Cause I'll push you in front of a moving car. This talk was going so well. LUKE: You and Rory are a lot alike. It's not surprising you would have similar tastes in men. LORELAI: I guess. But why? Why didn't she tell me? We tell each other everything. LUKE: This is different LORELAI: But we tell each other everything else. But this she keeps a secret. It's 'cause it's a guy thing. LUKE: Probably. LORELAI: Well that's not good. I have to make her understand that I'm OK with the guy thing. 'Cause not talking about guys and our personal lives -- that's me and my mom. That is not me and Rory. LUKE: Are you OK with the guy thing? LORELAI: Yes. LUKE: Really? LORELAI: OK...ish. LUKE: That's not OK. LORELAI: Well it's OK with an -ish. LUKE: Whatever you say. LORELAI: She just -- she thinks I'll disapprove, right? Well I won't. I will show her that I think this is great. Once she sees that I think this is great, everything will be back to normal between us, right? Right -- OK, good. LUK:E So you passed the need for an actual person to talk to several minutes ago. LORELAI: Oh, yeah. Before the gelato stand. LUKE: You're an amazing woman. LOREALI: Thank you for noticing. (Cut to Lorelai's house. Lorelai is sitting on the couch. She gets up and looks out the window then runs back to the couch when she sees Rory is home.) RORY: Hey, sorry I'm late. LORELAI: Oh, hey, no big deal. There's Chinese in the fridge. RORY: OK. (Lorelai follows Rory into the kitchen and stands behind her as Rory opens the fridge.) LORELAI: So...kissed any good boys lately? RORY: Who...? LORELAI: Mrs. Kim. RORY: (mumbling) Of course. LORELAI: So, he's cute. RORY: Yeah, he is. LORELAI: Can he spell? RORY: He can spell and read. How long have you known? LORELAI: Since this morning. You didn't think you were gonna be able to keep it a secret did you? You were making out in the market. RORY: We weren't making out. It was just one kiss. LORELAI: Yeah, well by the time that gets to Miss Patty's it's a scene from 9 1/2 Weeks. RORY: You've known all this time? At Luke's? Here? LORLELAI: Yeah. RORY: You could have said something. LORELAI: Now, funny, I was going to say the same thing to you. RORY: So... LORELAI: So... RORY: What now? LORELAI: Now? Nothing? RORY: No? No lecture about kissing a boy? LORELAI: Why? Did you do it wrong? RORY: No...I don't think. LORELAI: I didn't love the way I found out, but you're getting older. These things are bound to happen occasionally. Actually I think it's great. RORY: No you don't. LORELAI: Yes I do. I'm thrilled. RORY: Thrilled? LORELAI: Yeah. RORY: You're completely weirded out by this aren't you? LORELAI: No. You're crazy. I'm perfectly fine with it. RORY: You don't seem fine. You seem the complete opposite of fine. LORELAI: Well you're projecting that on me because you don't want to think that I'm fine when I am, as I have said, fine. RORY: OK. LORELAI: Never been finer. RORY: Got it. You want some? LORELAI: No, thanks. I'm fine. (Cut to Lorelai and Rory walking down the street.) LORELAI: OK, we have to be really quick, 'cause the video store's gonna close, so stick to our list. No impulse buying like toothpaste or soap. (Lorelai starts to go into the market. Rory stops at the door.) LORELAI: Rory? RORY: Hey, I think we have enough stuff to eat at home. LORELAI: Really...where do you live? 'Cause the home I left this morning had nothing. RORY: Well we're ordering pizza. That's enough. LORELAI: Are you crazy? You can't watch Willy Wonka without massive amounts of junk food! It's not right. I won't allow it. We're going in. (Rory hesitates.) LORELAI: Rory, it's fine. RORY: It's too weird. LORELAI: I'm gonna have to meet him eventually. RORY: OK. How about next year? LORELAI: I'm going to be so cool in there you will mistake me for Shaft. RORY: There will be no interrogation. LORELAI: I swear. RORY: No kissing noises. No stories from my childhood. No referring to Chicago as Chitown. No James Dean jokes. No father with a gn stares. No Nancy Walker impressions. LORELAI: Oh come on! RORY: Promise me. LORELAI: I really and truly promise. Now can we please go to the market? RORY: OK. Let's go. (They go in.) RORY: I don't see him. LORELAI: All right. Well maybe he's on a break. RORY: Yeah. Yeah, maybe he's on a break. LORELAI: Yeah. RORY: OK, good. So we can shop. LORELAI: Yep. RORY: Do we want marshmallows? LORELAI: Mmm...and jelly beans and chocolate kisses. Cookie dough we have at home. Peanut butter. Ooh, do you think they have that thing that's like a sugar stick on one side but then you dip it in the sugar on the other side then you eat it? RORY: We are going to be so sick. It's amazing that we still function. There he is. LORELAI: Boy, he's tall. That must have been some back-bender, that kiss. RORY: Mom! LORELAI: Make sure you warm up next time. RORY: OK, we are leaving now. LORELAI: Sorry. Done now. He's got great eyes! You got to love a guy with great eyes. RORY: Yeah. LORELAI: And a nice smile. RORY: Very nice. LORELAI: Think we can get him to turn around? RORY: It's nice too. LORELAI: Really? RORY: Trust me. LORELAI: (to cashier) Hey. CASHIER: Oh, you girls having another movie night? LORELAI: Yeah...It's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. CASHIER: Oh, that's nice. Isn't that the one with Gene Hackman? DEAN: Uh, Gene Wilder. LORELAI: You're a Wonka fan? DEAN: Yeah. RORY: Um, Dean, this is my mom, Lorelai. Mom, this is Dean. LORELAI: Nice to meet you, Dean. DEAN: Yeah, you too. LORELAI: Nice apron. DEAN: Um...thanks. CASHIER: Forty-one eighty-three. LORELAI: Oh, wow. It's expensive to slowly rot your insides isn't it? Here you go. RORY: (taking the bag from Dean) Thank you. DEAN: You're welcome. LORELAI: So, Dean, nice meeting you. Hope to see you again. DEAN: Yeah. (Another employee calls Dean away.) LORELAI: See that wasn't so bad. RORY: You're right. LORELAI: I said nothing embarrassing, nothing stupid. RORY: I appreciate that. LORELAI: So chill out, Supermarket Slut. RORY: See, even a little information in your hands is dangerous. (They leave.) LORELAI: I need coffee. RORY: Mom, the video store closes in ten minutes. LORELAI: Well you run to the video store and I'll go get coffe. RORY: Fine. LORELAI: Go, go, go. I'll meet you at Luke's. (Rory runs off. Dean comes out of the market.) DEAN: Hey, you forgot your Red Vines. LORELAI: Oh, wow! You totally saved the night. Thanks. DEAN: Sure. LORELAI: Hey, what are you doing tonight? DEAN: Me? Uh, well, I don't know. LORELAI: Well, do you want to come over? We're ordering pizza. We've got a movie. The neighborhood's got a pool going to see who falls into a sugar coma first. I'm the favorite. It might be fun. DEAN:Uh, well, um...uh. LORELAI: Oh, it's totally casual. I'm sure Rory would love it. DEAN: OK, sure. LORELAI: Yeah? DEAN: Yeah, what time? LORELAI: Seven sound good? DEAN: Sounds fine. LORELAI: Let me give you our address. DEAN: That's OK. I know where you live. LORELAI: Of course you do. So see you tonight. DEAN: Bye. LORELAI: Bye. (Dean goes back in. Rory walks back to Lorelai.) LORELAI: So? RORY: Got it! LORELAI: Score! You know, on the one hand I'm glad it was in but on the other hand what kind of world do we live in where no one has rented Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? RORY: Well we rented it. LORELAI: Well thank God for us. Oh, hey, I invited your friend. RORY: What friend? LORELAI: Dean. RORY: (upset) What? LORELAI: Yeah, I told him what we were doing tonight and he was totally into it so -- Why are you looking at me like that? RORY: You invited Dean? To our house? LORELAI: Yes. RORY: Are you crazy? LORELAI: Why are you mad? RORY: Because we haven't even been out on a date by ourselves yet. My first date with Dean is going to be with my mother? Are -- What is wrong with you? LORELAI: I'm sorry. I thought you would be happy about this. RORY: In what universe would I be happy? This isn't Amish country. Girls and boys usually date alone. LORELAI: I don't think of it as a date. I thought of it more as a hanging out kind of session. RORY: Well I don't want our first hanging out session to be with my mother either. LORELAI: Stop saying mother like that. RORY: Like what? LORELAI: Like there's supposed to be another word after it. RORY: I can't believe you did this. I'm so humiliated. LORELAI: You're totally overreacting. I invited him to a movie and pizza, not to Niagra Falls. RORY: He's the boy that I like. LORELAI: I know. I looked for one that you hated but it was really short notice. RORY: And now he's forced to come over and sit with me and my mother and eat crap and watch a movie? LORELAI: Well I just invited a friend of yours to hang out. What's the big deal? I mean what if Lane had done it? RORY: You're not Lane. You're my mother. You inviting him over is like Grandma inviting a guy you liked over. LORELAI: You're comparing me to my mother? RORY: No, I just -- LORELAI: I'm Emily Gilmore? My, how the mighty have fallen. RORY: I didn't mean that. LORELAI: I wasn't trying to humiliate you. RORY: I know. LORELAI: If I was Emily Gilmore I'd be trying to humiliate you. RORY: I just -- LORELAI: Look, I'm sorry, OK? I screwed up. I was trying to -- Look, I'll go, I'll uninvite him. I'll tell him that it's cancelled on account of I just found out I'm my mother and I have to go into intensive therapy right now. RORY: No, you can't uninvite him. He'll think I totally wigged out or something. LORELAI: Well then I'll just disappear and you guys can be alone. RORY: Oh, and have it look like my mom arranged a date for me? No! LORELAI: What do we do? RORY: He has to come. LORELAI: It won't be so bad, OK? Just pizza and a movie and hanging out. I promise you won't feel like your mother is there. RORY: OK. LORELAI: OK. You might, however, feel like my mother is there. RORY: Oh, boy. LORELAI: Well... (Cut to Rory's bedroom. Rory is wearing a bathrobe and has clothes spread out all over the bed. Lorelai comes in.) LORELAI: Hey. This is good. Add some cold cream and some curlers and let him know what he'll be coming home to every night. RORY: This was supposed to be a simple night. Watch movie, eat junk, go to bed feeling sick. End of story. Now I'm supposed to look pretty and girly, which is completely impossible because I'm gross and I have nothing to wear. LORELAI: Do you want some help? RORY: No...yes. LORELAI: OK. Uh...let's see. We'll do this and... (Lorelai looks over the clothes for a minute.) LORELAI: All right This says 'hello, I'm hip and cute but also relaxed since this is something I just threw on even though it looks fantastic on me.' RORY: How'd you do that? LORELAI: What? RORY: I've been staring at that top for twenty minutes. It was just a top. You walked in and in three seconds, it's an outfit. LORELAI: It comes from years of experiencing fashion brain freeze like the one you just had. RORY: How do you do it? LORELAI: What? RORY: This whole guy thing. I mean I've watched you when you talk to a man. You have a comeback for everything, you make him laugh, you smile right -- LORELAI: I smile right? RORY: And then you do the little hair flip. LORELAI: Oh, twirl. It's a hair twirl. RORY: And then you walk away and he just stands there, amazed, like he can't believe what just happened. LORELAI: That's because I just stole his wallet. RORY: I'll never be able to do that. Trig, I can do. But boys and dating? Forget it. I'm a total spaz. LORELAI: Listen, the talking part, you just get used to. The hair twirl I can teach you. And the leaving him amazed part -- with your brain and kller blue eyes I'm not worried. You'll do fine. Just give yourself a little time to get there. RORY: Is half an hour enough? LORELAI: Plenty. Come on. Dab on some lip gloss, clear but fruity. Maybe a little mascara. Wear your hair down and your attitude high. RORY: You're like a crazy Elsa Klensch. LORELAI: Oh, thank you! Come on now, hustle. We got a man coming over. (Cut to the living room. The table is full of junk food. Lorelai and Rory are sitting on the couch.) RORY: What time did you tell him to get here? LORELAI: Seven. RORY: Maybe something happened. Maybe he's not coming. LORELAI: Maybe he's just late, Miss German train. (Lorelai goes to the window and looks out.) LORELAI: Oops. RORY: What? (Rory joins Lorelai at the window. Dean is standing in the yard next door talking to Babette. Morey is leaning out the window.) BABETTE: There used be a great club there called -- what was it called baby? MOREY: Uh...Mr. Kelly's. BABETTE: Oh, yeah--Mr. Kelly's. You ever go there? RORY: They've got Dean. LORELAI: Wait here. BABETTE: So, Dean, you like jazz? DEAN: Sure, yeah. LORELAI: Oh, he sure does. That's all we ever hear about, right?. Jazz, jazz. Jazz, jazz, jazz. Hey. BABETTE: Hey, sugar. We were just getting to know your young man, here. LORELAI: Yeah, I see that. So, Dean, um, would you mind going inside and helping Rory out? There's a struggle with a pickle jar lid that I think she's about to lose. DEAN: Oh, sure, yeah. BABETTE: Oh it was nice talking to you, Dean. DEAN: Yeah, you too. MOREY: Stay cool, kid. DEAN: I will. (Dean goes in.) BABETTE: Oh, he's so cute. LORELAI: Yeah. BABETTE: And that Chuck Heston chin of his. Is he Rory's boyfriend? LORELAI: No, they're just friends. BABETTE: That's not what I heard. Kissing at the market. Gives a whole new meaning to tasting day. LORELAI: OK. I got to get back inside and shower. So I'll talk to you guys later. BABETE: Yeah, have a good evening. And don't forget to invite us to the wedding. Oh won't their kids be gorgeous! LORELAI: Oh. God I hope not. (Cut to the living room.) DEAN: I'm sorry I'm late. I got here like a half hour ago. RORY: We believe you. LORELAI: We'd believe you if you said you got here three hours ago. (They all stand there for a minute.) LORELAI: So, Dean, how do you like it here in Stars Hollow? DEAN: I like it. It's quiet, but nice. I like all the trees everywhere. LORELAI: Yeah, the trees are something. When Rory was little, she found out that one was called a Weeping Willow so she spent hours trying to cheer it up. You know, like telling it jokes and -- No, I'm sorry that was me. (silence) Would you like a tour of the house? DEAN: OK. LORELAI: OK. So this is the living room where we do our living and, um, upstairs is my room and the good bathroom. And the...kitchen is right through here. You ever heard a fridge yodel before? (Dean goes into the kitchen.) RORY: (whispers) Thank you. LORELAI: (whispers) You're welcome. (normal voice) Well you have your basics: microwave for popcorn, stove for storing shoes, refrigerator, which is completely worthless. DEAN: Interesting. (The doorbell rings.) LORELAI: Oh, I'll get that. Rory, you take over as tour guide. Make sure and show him the emergency exits. RORY: That's my mom. DEAN: She's got energy. RORY: Yeah well she's 90% water, 10% caffeine. DEAN: So what's in there? RORY: Um, that's my room. DEAN: Really? Can I see it? (Rory hovers in the doorway while Dean looks around her room. He picks up a CD.) DEAN: Wow. Very clean. How much does it suck that they use 'Pink Moon' in a Volkswagen commercial? RORY: Oh, I know. DEAN: So you gonna come in? RORY: Oh, no. I've seen it. DEAN: I mean you look like you're glued to the door there. RORY: No -- I'm just, uh, observing my room from a new perspective. You know, I hardly ever stand here. It's really making me rethink my throw pillows. DEAN: Would you like me to get out of here? RORY: No, I'm fine with you looking around. (Dean picks up a stuffed chicken and laughs.) DEAN: Nice chicken RORY: Or, you know, at least I was. (Cut to the front door.) LORELAI: We do not need dessert, Sookie. SOOKIE: Oh, everybody needs dessert. So, where is Rory? LORELAI: With Dean. SOOKIE: Dean? Oh, that's right, yeah, Dean is here. LORELAI: Yeah, right. OK. You need to go now. SOOKIE: Please. I just want one little peek. LORELAI: No. SOOKIE: (stalling) OK, fine, so, uh, how are you? How are you doing? How you doing? Are you -- LORELAI: Sookie. SOOKIE: I'm concerned. LORELAI: You're stalling. SOOKIE: Am I? LORELAI: Sookie. (Lorelai opens the door to let Sookie out. The pizza delivery guy is standing on the other side. JOE: Hey, Lorelai. LORELAI: Hey, Joe. What do I owe ya? JOE: Fifteen even. LORELAI: OK. How are you doing? JOE: Awesome. SOOKIE: What did you get on your pizza? Did you ask for extra sauce? Because I always ask for extra sauce because sometimes -- LORELAI: Sookie, she's already freaked out that I invited him here. If she thinks I'm parading him around in front of all my friends, she'll kll me. SOOKIE: But I just -- LORELAI: Death, bloody and slow, OK? RORY: (from her room) Mom, is that the pizza? LORELAI: Yeah. (to Sookie) OK, bye. Now go. SOOKIE: Bu I just wanted -- LORELAI: No. Bye. SOOKIE: Bye-bye. (Lorelai ushers Sookie --with the pizza-- out the door just as Rory and Dean come in.) LORELAI: So are you hungry? DEAN: Starving. RORY: Where's the pizza? LORELAI: The pizza's, uh -- SOOKIE: Pizza! (Sookie comes inside.) SOOKIE: Just bringing in the pizza. Hi, I'm Sookie. I'm a friend of Lorela's. DEAN: Hi. SOOKIE: Hi. Nice to meet you, Dean. I mean, not that I knew you were Dean. But you do look like a Dean. Doesn't he look like a Dean? LORELAI: Yeah. Of all the people in this room he looks most like a Dean. Bye Sookie. Have fun! SOOKIE: OK. (Sookie leaves.) DEAN: Here, um, I'll take that. LORELAI: Oh, thanks. Great. The coffee table's fine. (Dean goes into the living room.) LORELAI: (whispers) I did not invite her here. RORY: (whispers) Why didn't you just set up a camera and broadcast it over the internet? LORELAI: (whispers) Because I don't think that big. DEAN: Thank God there's good pizza here. LORELAI: Oh, yeah. Now we didn't know what kind you liked so we just got everything. DEAN: Everything is fine. LORELAI: Good, well, while it's hot. (Time lapse. They are all seated on the floor eating popcorn.) LORELAI: Who needs more? RORY: I do. DEAN: Wow. You can eat. RORY: Yes I can. Oh that's bad isn't it? DEAN: No, uh, most girls don't eat. It's good you eat. LORELAI: I'm all for it. RORY: Let's talk about something besides my eating habits, shall we? LORELAI: Oooh -- Oompa Loompas! RORY: My mom has a thing for the Oompa Loompas. LORELAI: I don't think finding them amusing constitutes a thing. RORY: No, but having a recurring dream about marrying one does. LORELAI: Don't even get me started on your Prince Charming crush, OK? At least my obsessions are alive. You have a thing for a cartoon. DEAN: Ooh, Prince Charming, huh? RORY: It was a long time ago. And not the Cinderella one, the Sleeping Beauty one. DEAN: 'Cause he could dance. RORY: Yeah. DEAN: I've got sisters. LORELAI: So, come on, Dean, tell us some of your embarrassing secrets. DEAN: Well, I have no embarrassing secrets. LORELAI: Oh, please. RORY: I bet I know one. DEAN: What? RORY: The theme from Ice Castles makes you cry. LORELAI: Oh, that's a good one. DEAN: That's not true. LORELAI: Oh I've got one. At the end of The Way We Were, you wanted Robert Redford to dump his wife and kid for Barbra Streisand. DEAN: I've never seen The Way We Were. LORELAI: Oh! RORY: Are you kidding? LORELAI: What are you waiting for? Heartache, laughter -- RORY: Communism. LORELAI: All in one neat package. DEAN: I'll have to experience that sometime. LORELAI: Next movie night. RORY: It's a plan. LORELAI: I'll get the popcorn. RORY: Bring in the spray cheese. (Lorelai leaves.) DEAN: So, uh, at what point does the outsider get to suggest a movie for movie night? RORY: That depends. What movie are you thinking of? DEAN: I don't know...Boogie Nights, maybe. RORY: You'll never get that past Lorelai. DEAN: Not a Marky Mark fan? RORY: She had a bad reaction to Magnolia. She sat there screaming for three hours 'I want my life back!' and then we got kicked out of the theater. It was actually a pretty entertaining day. DEAN: Yeah? RORY: Yeah. DEAN: I guess I'll have to come up with a different movie then. RORY: I guess you will. DEAN: That Oompa Loompa -- right there. You know when he's dancing? (Lorelai starts coming back to the living room, sees Rory and Dean sitting side by side, and goes back into the kitchen to read a magazine.) (Time lapse. Rory tries to get more comfortable. Dean places a pillow behind her back.) RORY: Thank you. (Rory stares at Dean but turns away when he looks over at her.) DEAN: Hey. RORY: I'll be right back. (Cut to the kitchen.) RORY: Mom! LORELAI: What? RORY: What are you doing in here? LORELAI: Trying to find the best bathing suit for my bust size. RORY: Well get back in there! LORELAI: Why? What happened? Did the bag boy try something? RORY: He's sitting in there and he's watching the movie and he's perfect and he smells really good. LORELAI: What? RORY: He smells really good and he looks amazing and I am stupid. I said 'thank you.' LORELAI: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You said 'thank you?' RORY: When he kissed me. LORELAI: He kissed you again? What is he just out of prison or something? RORY: No, not now. Yesterday. At the store. LORELAI: Oh, all right. Strike the prison comment. He kissed you and you said 'thank you?' RORY: Yes. LORELAI: Well that was very polite. RORY: No, it was stupid. And I don't know what I'm doing here. You're sitting in the kitchen. What kind of chaperone are you? LORELAI: Me? I'm not trying to be a chaperone. I'm trying to be a girlfriend. RORY: Well switch gears, 'cause I'm freaking out here! LORELAI: You really like him, don't you? RORY: Yeah. LOREAI: Well, OK, then. Just calm down. RORY: I just don't want to do or say anything else that's gonna be remotely moronic. LORELAI: I'm afraid once your heart is involved it all comes out in Moron. RORY: Just please come back in. LORELAI: OK. Let's go then. RORY: Wait we can't go back in together though because that would be too obvious. LORELAI: All right. OK. I'll go in first and you go to the bathroom. RORY: OK. Good. Tell him I had to wash my face. LORELAI: Yes. 'Cause of all the sugar you ate. RORY: Yes! Good. Very good. LORELAI: OK. (Lorelai sits on the floor beside Dean.) LORELAI: Hi. I'm back. Rory went to wash her face. DEAN: Oh, OK. (They sit in silence for a minute until Lorelai turns the TV off.) LORELAI: Dean. I don't know exactly how to say this, but, um, this is a very different kind of household you walked into tonight. DEAN: Yeah, I know. LORELAI: See...Rory is my daughter. DEAN: (rolling his eyes) Ah...here comes the talk. LORELAI: How about I talk, you listen? Rory is a smart kid. She's never been much for guys so the fact that she likes you means a lot. I don't believe she'd waste her time with some loser. DEAN: But you're watching me. LORELAI: Sweetheart, the whole town is watching you. That girl in there is beloved around here. You hurt her, there's not a safe place within a hundred miles for you to hide. This is a very small, weird place you've moved to. DEAN: I've noticed. LORELAI: So just know all eyes are on you. DEAN: Anything else? LORELAI: She's not going on your motorcycle. DEAN: I don't have a motorcycle. LORELAI: She's not going on your motorcycle. DEAN: Fine, she won't go on my motorcycle. LORELAI: Curfew will be enforced. You will not detract from her schoolwork, and you're going to start handling those lemons better. DEAN: What? LORELAI: Don't interrupt me when I'm speaking. I reserve the right to change, alter, tweak, or add to this list of rules at any given time without any written notice. Am I clear? DEAN: You're clear. LORELAI: Good. DEAN: My turn to speak? LORELAI: Fine, go ahead. DEAN: You can lay on all the rules you want and you can have the whole town spy on me and stare at me and chase me through the streets -- LORELAI: Oh I like the chase you through the streets idea. DEAN: But I'm not going anywhere. LORELAI: Well it's gonna be a short chase then isn't it? DEAN: I need you not to hate me. If you hate me then I don't have a sht in hell with Rory. LORELAI: Rory has her own mind. DEAN: Yeah but you're her best friend and what you think means everything to her and you know that. LORELAI: I wanna like you. 'Cause Rory likes you. DEAN: But you don't. LORELAI: I want to and I usually get what I want. DEAN: Fair enough. (Lorelai turns the TV back on.) DEAN: She's taking a long time on her face. LORELAI: Yeah, well, Rory's a perfectionist. (Cut to the front porch. Rory and Dean are leaning against the railing.) DEAN: Tell your mom thanks for inviting me. RORY: I'm sorry if this was totally weird. I mean with my mom inviting you over and -- DEAN: Hey, no, it was good. Really. RORY: Really? DEAN: Yeah. (They kiss.) DEAN: Thank you. (Dean leaves.) (Cut to Lorelai's bedroom. She's lying on the bed. Rory comes in and lies down next to her.) LORELAI: So that went well. RORY: Yeah, not bad. LORELAI: Did I humiliate you? RORY: I don't know. What did you say to him when I went to the bathroom? LORELAI: That you're pretty. RORY: Liar. LORELAI: Yeah...well. RORY: I'm gonna go to bed. (Rory starts to leave. Lorelai sighs.) RORY: Mom, what's the matter? LORELAI: Nothing. RORY: Yes there is. Come on, tell me. LORELAI: Nothing. I just really wanted you to tell me about that kiss. RORY: I'm so sorry. I really wanted to, I swear. I just got scared and -- LORELAI: I know. I'm not mad. I just wanted to hear about it. That's all. It's no big deal. It's OK, I'm fine. It's one too many Caramello bars. I'm sorry. You have school, I have work, so time for bed. RORY: OK. Night. LORELAI: OK, night, hon. RORY: Mom? LORELAI: Hmm? RORY: I know this is lame and totally after the fact but -- LORELAI: Start from the beginning and you leave anything out you die! Where were you? RORY: OK, I was in the aisle where the ant spray is. LORELAI: That's a good aisle. RORY: I know, that's what Lane said too. But anyway, so he was working and I go into the store and I sort of walked around and was pretending to shop... The End	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x07 - Kiss and Tell"}	foreverdreaming
1.09 - Rory's Dance written by Amy Sherman-Palladino directed by Lesli Linka Glatter (Emily, Rory, and Lorelai are having dinner.) EMILY: Your grandfather called last night and told me to let you know he's bringing you back something very special from Prague. RORY: Wow, Prague. How amazing is it that he's going to Prague? EMILY: It's supposed to be lovely, very dramatic castles everywhere. RORY: Did you know the cell that Václav Havel was held in is now a hostel? You can stay there for like $50 a night. (Rory turns to Lorelai, who is playing with her food.) RORY: Hey, maybe on our big trip to Europe we could go to Prague and stay in his cell. LORELAI: Absolutely. And then we can go to Turkey and stay in that place from Midnight Express. EMILY: Lorelai, what are you doing? LORELAI: Getting rid of the avacado. EMILY: Since when do you not like avacado? LORELAI: Since the day I said, "Gross. What is this?" and you said, "Avacado." EMILY: (to Rory) I'm focusing on you now. Tell me all about the Chilton formal next week. LORELAI: There's a formal? RORY: How do you know about the formal? LORELAI: Yeah, how do you know about the formal? EMILY: I read my Chilton newsletter. LORELAI: Since when do you get a Chilton newsletter? EMILY: Well as a major contributor to Rory's education I figured I had the right to ask for a newsletter to be sent to my house. (Emily goes to get her copy of the newsletter.) LORELAI: Are you serious? EMILY: And it's a good thing, too, since you don't bother to read yours. One of us should be up to date on the goings-on at Rory's school. LORELAI: Hey, Mom, I read my newsletter. EMILY: You did? LORELAI: That's right. EMILY: What was the picture on the cover? LORELAI: (uncertainly) It was a picture of a really rich kid in plaid. EMILY: (shows Lorelai the cover) It was a spotted owl. LORELAI: In plaid. (Rory holds back laughter.) EMILY: The owls are endangered and Chilton is taking donations to help them. (to Rory) You gave a very nice one, in case you're interested. LORELAI: Mom, don't be giving donations on Rory's behalf. I'll do that. EMILY: How can you do that when you don't bother to read the newsletter? LORELAI: I read the newsletter. EMILY: You didn't know they were taking donations. LORELAI: It's a private school. They're always taking donations. They teach a class in it. I'll get them next time. EMILY: Well what about the owls? LORELAI: They'll live. EMILY: Well apparently they won't, dear. That's why they need the donations in the first place. LORELAI: (to Rory) So, you have a formal coming up? RORY: Yeah, but I don't think I'm going to go. EMILY: Nonsense. Of course you're going. LORELAI: Mom, if Rory doesn't want to go she doesn't have to go. EMILY: Well I don't understand why she wouldn't want to go. LORELAI: I know you don't. RORY: I'm gonna go get another Coke. EMILY: What did you say to her? LORELAI: What are you talking about? EMILY: If she doesn't want to go it must be because of something you said. LORELAI: Mom, I promise. All I ever said to her about dances is that you go, you dance, you have punch, you eat, you take a picture, and then you get auctioned off to a biker gng from Sausalito. EMILY: Lorelai, this is serious. LORELAI: Mom, I said nothing, OK? Rory's disdain of formals is totally her own. Let's just drop it, please. EMILY: Fine. LORELAI: Fine. (They both go back to their food.) EMILY: What's wrong with the tomato? LORELAI: It was fraternizing with the enemy. (Cut to the interior of a car. Lorelai and Rory are driving home.) LORELAI: Why didn't you mention the dance? RORY: 'Cause I'm not going. LORELAI: Oh. But why aren't you going? RORY: 'Cause I hate dances. LORELAI: Good answer. Except you've never actually been to a dance. RORY: So? LORELAI: So you really have nothing to compare it to. RORY: No, but I can imagine it. LORELAI: That's true. However, not really, since you've never actually been to one you're basing all your dance opinions on one midnight viewing of Sixteen Candles. RORY: So? LORELAI: So you should have a decent reason for hating something before you really decide you hate it. RORY: Trust me, I'll hate it. It'll be stuffy and boring, the music will suck and since none of the kids at school like me, I'll be stuck in the back listening to 98° watching Tristin and Paris argue over which one of them gets to make me miserable first. LORELAI: OK. Or it'll be all sparkly and exciting and you'll be standing on the dance floor listening to Tom Waits with some great-looking guy staring at you so hard that you don't even realize that Paris and Tristin have just been eaten by bears. RORY: What guy? LORELAI: I don't know -- maybe the guy who hangs out in our trees all day waiting for you to come home? RORY: Dean does not hang out in trees. LORELAI: He bashed his head on a branch last week when I came out of the house too quickly. RORY: Why do you care all of sudden if I go? LORELAI: I don't care if you go. I just don't want you to miss any experience because you're too afraid. RORY: I'm afraid? Of what? LORELAI: Of asking Dean. Of him saying 'no.' Of going to a dance with a bunch of kids who haven't accepted you yet. Of dancing in public. Of finding out you should never be dancing in public. RORY: OK, OK, I get it. LORELAI: Listen, I know you are not Miss Party Girl, and I love you for that, but sometimes I wonder -- do you not join in because you really don't want to or because you're too shy? If the reason you don't want to go is because you really don't want to go and not because you are in any way afraid, then this is the last time I'll mention it, I promise. RORY: (uncertainly) I don't have a dress. LORELAI: I could make you one. RORY: Really? LORELAI: Oh yeah. We could get some great shoes and some new earrings. You could get your hair done. RORY: You won't think I'm an idiot? LORELAI: Depends on what hairstyle you choose. This dance could be great for you. (Cut to Lane and Rory walking in the snow.) RORY: He's gonna say no. LANE: Why would he say no. RORY: Why would he say yes? LANE: Rory, listen to me. There's absolutely no point in having a boyfriend if you can't get him to go to the dance with you. RORY: He's not my boyfriend. LANE: Really? RORY: No. LANE: What is he then? RORY: He's my...gentleman caller. LANE: OK, Blanche. RORY: I don't know what he is. But he's not my boyfriend. Do you think he's my boyfriend. LANE: I think you guys spend a lot of time not kissing other people if this isn't a girlfriend/boyfriend thing. RORY: Girlfriend. LANE: You. RORY: Boyfriend. LANE: Him. RORY: No. It sounds weird. LANE: Look, have you had the talk yet? RORY: Yes, Lane, babies come from the stork. LANE: The other talk. RORY: What other other talk? LANE: "We've been dating a few weeks no. Where do we stand? What are we to each other? If another girls asks you out, do you feel free to go?" RORY: How is it that you know so much about this? LANE: Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. (They look in the window of the market and see Dean with a customer.) LANE: There he is. RORY: I should do this later. (Rory starts to leave. Lane stops her.) LANE: No. No, you have to do this now. RORY: Why? LANE: Because I have to go home soon and my mom threw out our TV when she caught me watching V.I.P. So I'm bored and I need some entertainment. RORY: (takes a deep breath) OK. Here I go. LANE: Good luck! Oh, and Rory, remember to enunciate. I'm reading lips out here. (Rory goes into the market, leaving Lane with her face plastered to the window. Rory walks up to Dean.) RORY: Hey. DEAN: Oh, hey. RORY: You're busy. DEAN: Yeah. I just have to put the new green bean shipment on the shelves. You want to help? RORY: Yeah, sure. I, uh, I love stocking beans. DEAN: OK. Uh, follow me. RORY: So do you work on Saturdays? I forget. DEAN: Well it depends. Sometimes I come in if I don't have any plans. Why? RORY: No reason. See, there's this thing at my school on Saturday. Well it's not really at my school, it's kind of given by my school . DEAN: What is it? RORY: Well it's this thing where you go and they play music and you're supposed to get all dressed up and do some kind of dance and then there's chicken. DEAN: Chicken? RORY: Well I don't know if there's chicken. But at these kinds of things they often serve chicken because it's probably cheaper and people eat it, so the logic behind the chicken choice really isn't that bad. DEAN: I'm lost RORY: It's a dance. DEAN: Ah. RORY: And it's not like I'm dying to go or anything, but it is a new school and being a part of the social activities is really important at Chilton. DEAN: So are you asking me to go to the dance with you? RORY: No. Yes. I mean, if you wanted to go, I would go too. DEAN: Well that would probably be good since it's your school. RORY: Right. So do you want to go? DEAN: Honestly? RORY: Yeah. DEAN: I've actually never gone to a dance before. RORY: Because they're lame? DEAN: Yeah. And it's just not the way I ever wanted to spend my time. I mean, I'm not a big joiner. RORY: OK, fair enough. More beans please. (They stack beans in silence.) DEAN: You want to go, don't you? RORY: No. I don't. I have no desire to go at all. I was just thinking out loud, that's all. DEAN: So, uh, what would I have to wear? RORY: What? DEAN: To this dance. What would I have to wear? RORY: Anything you want. DEAN: Come on. RORY: No, really whatever you're comfortable in is fine. DEAN: Rory... RORY: Some sort of pants would be nice. DEAN: Rory... RORY: It's coat and tie. DEAN: Oh man. RORY: But you could probably get away with a coat and no tie. DEAN: OK RORY: Really? DEAN: Yeah. (Rory kisses Dean.) RORY: Thank you. DEAN: You're welcome. (Rory goes back outside where Lane is waiting.) (Cut to Lorelai making a dress on a dressmaker's dummy. While she's bending down, she falls over, bringing the dummy down on top of her.) LORELAI: Aaaah! (The doorbell rings.) LORELAI: Ow. (Lorelai gets up and goes to answer the door.) SOOKIE: Extra thread. LORELAI: Oh, God bless. I've been working so hard to finish Rory's dress I haven't been to get out. SOOKIE: Jeez, you are walking funny. LORELAI: I know. Rory's dress made a pass at me and I think I pulled something getting up. SOOKIE: Here, sit, sit sit. Hey, you know what, I've got an Ace bandage in my bag. I'm not sure how we can wrap it but maybe we can do something kind of creative and -- LORELAI: Sookie. Ow SOOKIE: Let's see. (Sookie pulls bottles of pills out of her purse.) LORELAI: Wow! SOOKIE: OK, I've got Percodan, Vicodin, Darvocet, and, uh...Take this one. It's a muscle relaxer. Very mild, I promise. LORELAI: Thanks. Maybe later. SOOKIE: OK. I've got to go. You sure you're going to be OK? LORELAI: I'm sure. SOOKIE: OK. LORELAI: Bye. SOOKIE: Bye. (The phone rings.) LORELAI: Yeah. EMILY: You sound terrible. LORELAI: I'm fine, Mom, I just stubbed my toe. EMILY: Maybe you should get rid of some of that clutter in your living room. LORELAI: Maybe EMILY: That room is a hazard. LORELAI: Ah, you know, I've seen the light. Everything goes. What else have you got? EMILY: I want to talk about Rory's dance. It's just klling me that she's not going. LORELAI: Uh-huh. EMILY: It may seem frivolous and silly to her now but belive me, these are the kind of experiences you regret missing later. LORELAI: OK. EMILY: And regret can make you bitter. Do you want Rory to be bitter? LORELAI: Well, sort of. EMILY: Lorelai. LORELAI: What, Mom? She can make some cash off of it. Become a crazy Oscar Levant kind of celebrity, go on talk shows, heckle Regis. EMILY: I wish you would take this seriously. LORELAI: Mom, Rory is going to the dance. EMILY: She is? LORELAI: Uh-huh. EMILY: Oh, that's wonderful. I'm thrilled. LORELAI: I'm making her dress right now. EMILY: You're making her dress? LORELAI: Yep. EMILY: But why? LORELAI: Well, so she'll look really ugly and people will point and throw rocks. EMILY: Why don't you let me buy her a dress? LORELAI: Mom, you were thrilled five seconds ago, remember? EMILY: You're not using the curtains are you? LORELAI: Mom, I gotta go. EMILY: Just one more thing. Take a picture of Rory for me, will you please? LORELAI: I will. EMILY: On the stairs. And one by the front door. And one as she's getting ready, you know, putting her hair up, putting her makeup on? LORELAI: OK, do you want one when she's shaving her legs? You know, one leg up in the tub, waving the disposable razor in the air? EMILY: This is a once in a lifetime event. You get to be there and I don't. (Lorelai lies down on the floor, trying to get comfortable.) LORELAI: Oh, boy. EMILY: I figure if I got enough pictures I could at least line them up in chronological order and pretend I was there. LORELAI: Mom. EMILY: Maybe bind them together, make a flipbook out of them. LORELAI: Mom, would you like to come over on Saturday and see Rory go to the dance? EMILY: Why, what a nice idea, I'd love that, thank you. I'll see you at 7. (Emily hangs up the phone. Lorelai sighs.) (Tristin walks up to the table where Paris is selling tickets to the Chilton Winter Formal.) PARIS: Hi, Tristin. TRISTIN: Paris. PARIS: Two, I assume. TRISTIN: You assume right. PARIS: So, who are you taking? TRISTIN: Why, are you free? PARIS: I'm, uh... TRISTIN: Nah, what am I thinking? You wouldn't be free this close to the dance. (He hands her some money and she hands him the tickets.) PARIS: Here's your change. TRISTIN: Hey, is your hair shorter? PARIS: Yeah, a quarter of an inch. TRISTIN: Really. PARIS: I got it trimmed. TRISTIN: Looks good. PARIS: Thanks. (Tristin walks down the hall to where Rory is reading while waiting in line to buy tickets.) TRISTIN: And she's reading again. How novel. RORY: Good-bye, Tristin. TRISTIN: Did you get the novel thing? Because... RORY: I said good-bye. TRISTIN: What are you doing here? RORY: I like lines. TRISTIN: The guy's supposed to buy the tickets. RORY: Really. Does Susan Faludi know about this? TRISTIN: Unless of course there is no guy. RORY: There's a guy. TRISTIN: A cheap guy. RORY: Well, what can I say? I like 'em cheap. Sloppy too -- bald spot, beer gut, you know, and the pants that kind of slip down in the back, giving you that good plumber sht. That sends me through the roof. TRISTIN: So who is he? RORY: How many languages can you say 'none of your business' in. TRISTIN: Does he go to this school? RORY: No, he doesn't. TRISTIN: Uh-huh. Well, look, OK, I'll confess something to you. I don't have a date. RORY: Well I hear Squeaky Fromme is up for parole soon. You should keep a good thought. TRISTIN: Well I actually thought you'd like to go with me. RORY: You did not. TRISTIN: I did too. RORY: You did not because you are not stupid. TRISTIN: Why thank you. RORY: Slimy and weasely, yes, but stupid, no. You'd have to be stupid to think that, given our history, I would ever, barring a piano or a safe falling on my head, want to go anywhere with you, ever. TRISTIN: OK, fine. I'll take Cissy. RORY: I'll send her a condolence card. TRISTIN: Yeah. Well at least she won't be buying her own ticket. (Tristin walks down the hall. Rory is next in line.) RORY: Two, please. PARIS: Idiot. RORY: Excuse me? PARIS: He was totally nice to you and you couldn't be a bigger jerk. RORY: You like Tristin so much, you go out with him. PARIS: I don't have enough change. RORY: Pay me later. PARIS: What am I, your Versateller? Wait for change. (yells at the boy sitting next to her) I need change! Now! (to Rory) There's no way you're going with someone better than Tristin. RORY: Whatever. PARIS: You probably don't even have a date. You're probably going to come down with some very rare form of flu that only hits losers on dance night. RORY: You know what? I don't want my change. Money makes people shallow. (Rory walks away from Paris.) PARIS: I've got your change. Hey! Hey! If you think I'm keepig this dollar, I'm not! BOY: I'll take it. PARIS: Shut up! (Saturday night. Lorelai is sitting on the couch reading a magazine.) LORELAI: (calls to Rory) Come on already! RORY: (from her room) I'm primping. LORELAI: You're 16. You have skin like a baby's ass. There's nothing to primp. RORY: OK, OK, here I come. (Rory comes into the room wearing her dress for the dance.) LORELAI: Wow. Someone ht you with a pretty stick. RORY: This dress is amazing. You outdid yourself. LORELAI: It's beautiful, babe, you look beautiful. Come here. RORY: What? LORELAI: Stray hair. RORY: Fix, please. LORELAI: Yes. Hm. I think my favorite part is the shoes. RORY: The heels hurt. LORELAI: Well, beauty is pain RORY: I'll just throw them on on my way out LORELAI: No, you should put them on now and let your feet get really numb. RORY: That's sick. LORELAI: Go get me the hair spray. RORY: OK. (Rory runs to get her shoes. The doorbell rings.) LORELAI: It's open! SOOKIE: It's me! I got tacos! LORELAI: Yay! SOOKIE: I got extra hot sauce and a couple of extra burritos to put in the fridge in case you get hungry later. LORELAI: You take such good care of me. RORY: Hey, Sookie. Look. SOOKIE: (gasps) Oh my God! You're a movie star! I'm serious. Oh my -- At some point tonight, walk down a flight of stairs. Movie stars always walk down staircases. LORELAI: OK, come on, let me spray while you try to figure out what she just said. SOOKIE: You, don't move. I got it. (Sookie points the bottle in the wrong direction and ends up spraying her eyes instead of Rory's hair.) SOOKIE: Ow! LORELAI: Sookie. SOOKIE: Wrong way! I got it. RORY: Are you OK? SOOKIE: Yeah, sweetie, hand that to your mother, and my eyelashes are all stuck together. (Sookie stag LORELAI: Honey, are you sure you're alright? SOOKIE: I'm fine. LORELAI: (to Rory) Shield the tacos. OK, ready? (Rory puts the tacos under the table and covers her eyes. Lorelai sprays her hair.) RORY: God! LORELAI: OK, that will be good for six slow dances, four medium ones, one lambada, but if you plan on doing any moshing I suggest another coat. RORY: I think I'm good. SOOKIE: Rory, sweetie, is this soap by the sink in the silver bottle? RORY: No! LORELAI: Go in there, quick. (The doorbell rings.) LORELAI: We're in here! EMILY: We're in here? That's how you answer the door? LORELAI: Well I was all out of Saran Wrap. EMILY: I don't even want to figure that one out. I just want to see my granddaughter. Where is she? LORELAI: Kitchen. EMILY: Oh, perfect. I want to be all ready for the big entrance. How's the light in here? Never mind. I'll just take one with the flash and one without to make sure we got it right. LORELAI: Wow, Mom, look at you. You'd think Anne Taylor was having a sale or something. (Emily, armed with a camera, gets into position.) EMILY: OK, Rory, come in here please. (Rory comes into the living room wearing a kitchen towel as a bib and eating a taco.) RORY: Hey, Grandma EMILY: (to Lorelai) She has lived with you too long. LORELAI: Honey, lose the bib and the taco, put your shoes on, come back out, and let Grandma take the pretty picture. RORY: OK. (Sookie comes in.) SOOKIE: I'm gonna get going. LOREAI: You are not driving. SOOKIE: I walked. (to the staircase) It was nice to see you again, Mrs. Gilmore, or at least make out your shape. LORELAI: Call in fifteen minutes or I'm sending out a search party. SOOKIE: (to the wall) And you call me if I can come over and help you up the stairs or something. LORELAI: No, I'll be fine. SOOKIE: Bye. EMILY: Why would you need help up the stairs? LORELAI: No reason. Rory, let's go, your public awaits! EMILY: Why aren't you moving? LORELAI: I'm comfortable, that's all. EMILY: Are you hurt? LORELAI: I have a little back spasm, that's it. It's no big deal. EMILY: What sort of back spasm? LORELAI: I don't know, Mom, just a normal one. EMILY: There is nothing normal about a back spasm. The very fact that it has the word spasm in it means it's not normal. LORELAI: Alright, here she is, Mom, get your camera moving. EMILY: What? Oh, my, you're gorgeous. Oh! Smile! (Emily takes several pictures of Rory.) EMILY: I'm so glad you decided to buy her a dress. (Lorelai and Rory exchange a look. A car horn sounds outside.) RORY: That's Dean! LORELAI: Hey, come here. Have an amazing time. (Rory kisses Lorelai and Emily and then Rory runs for the door.) RORY: I'll chronicle the whole evening for you, I promise. Bye, Grandma. EMILY: Where are you going? RORY: To the dance. EMILY: You do not go running out the door when a boy honks. LORELAI: Mom, it's fine. EMILY: It certainly is not fine. This is not a drive through. She's not fried chicken. RORY: But I told him to honk and I'd meet him out there. We agreed. EMILY: I don't care what you told him. If he wants to take you out, he will walk up to this door, and know, and say 'good evening,' and come inside for a moment like any civilized human being would know to do. LORELAI: Now, Mom, this is silly, I have met him already. EMILY: Well I haven't. LORELAI: Yeah, but-- EMILY: We will wait until he comes to the door. RORY: He doesn't know he's supposed to. EMILY: He will figure it out. (Rory sighs and crosses her arms. They wait in silence. A minute or so later, Dean honks again.) EMILY: He's not a very bright boy, is he? LORELAI: Mom, please. (The doorbell rings. Rory starts to run to the door.) EMILY: Don't rush. A lady never rushes. (Rory runs to the door anyway.) RORY: Hey. DEAN: Hey, uh, I thought I was supposed to honk. RORY: I know, I'm sorry. EMILY: Young man, come in here please. LORELAI: Hey, Dean, meet my mother, Emily Post. EMILY: Emily Gilmore DEAN: Hi. EMILY: Hello. LORELAI: Great rap session. Alright, you guys are out of here. Have fun. EMILY: Be home by eleven (Lorelai mouths 'twelve.') RORY: Bye Mom, by Grandma. (Rory and Dean leave.) EMILY: What do you know about this boy? LORELAI: I know that Rory likes him and that his parole officer has high hopes for his rehabilitation. EMILY: Does he drink? LORELAI: Like a fish. EMILY: That's not a crazy question. LORELAI: It is a crazy question, Mom, because if I had knowledge of him being a drinker, he would not be with Rory now. EMILY: Yes, but-- LORELAI: Mom, please relax. Dean is a good kid. Rory's gonna have a great time. You got your pictures and tomorrow I will call you and give you all the details. EMILY: What are you going to do? LORELAI: What do you mean? EMILY: Well you certainly can't be left alone. LORELAI: Yes I can. EMILY: You can barely move. You've been sitting on that couch since I got here. LORELAI: That's because this is a right comfy couch. EMILY: Maybe I should stay. LORELAI: No, no, Mom, you really don't have to do that. EMILY: I'm not leaving my daughter stranded on the couch. What if you need to get to the bathroom? LORELAI: I don't go anymore, Mom. I gave it up cold turkey. EMILY: I'm staying. LORELAI: No, Mom...Look -- I can stand, OK? (Lorelai, obviously in pain, stands slowly.) LORELAI: See? I'm up. OK, see? I'm fine. EMILY: Move. LORELAI: What? EMILY: Move. If you're fine, than move. LORELAI: I can move. This is me moving. (nothing happens) Any second now the moving will begin. (nothing happens) Rats. (Lorelai flops back on the couch.) EMILY: I'll go start some tea. Please tell me you have something besides Lipton. LORELAI: (muttering to herself) Oh, a stroke would be so good right about now. (Cut to Rory and Dean. They are in the car on the way to the dance.) RORY: Maybe we should just forget about this DEAN: OK. RORY: I mean, it's just a dance. What's the big deal? DEAN: Beats me. RORY: And these kids at my school -- awful. Have you seen The Outsiders? DEAN: Yeah, I have. RORY: Just call me Ponyboy. I heard this place is beautiful though -- old and historic. DEAN: Huh. RORY: Maybe we could just go in for a minute. DEAN: Fine. RORY: Or not. DEAN: Fine too. RORY: I don't know. Why can't I decide? This is stupid. What do you think? DEAN: I think that you look amazing. RORY: Maybe just a couple minutes won't hurt. (Cut to Lorela and Emily. Emily is on the phone. Lorelai is still on the couch.) EMILY: Yes, Marta. Just make sure everything's locked up before you leave. (pause) No, I won't be home tonight. (Lorelai groans.) EMILY: (to Lorelai) Was that a pain? LORELAI: Yes. A big one. EMILY: (to Marta) Alright. That's it. Bye. LORELAI: So, Mom, you really, really don't have to do this. EMILY: Don't be silly. I couldn't possibly leave you alone like this. LORELAI: What are you doing, Mom? EMILY: I'm trying to find the candlesticks I bought you. LORELAI: What candlesticks? EMILY: The Baccarat candlesticks I bought you last year for Christmas. I assumed you stuffed them in the back of the closet somewhere. (Lorelai sits up and looks worried.) LORELAI: Uh, well, no, I did not stuff them in the back of the closet. EMILY: Well then where are they? I don't see them out. LORELAI: (hesitantly) Well, see, we didn't actually have a...big use for the crystal candlesticks so I kind of...exchanged them. EMILY: For what? LORELAI: A monkey lamp. EMILY: Pardon me? LORELAI: It's a lamp with a bunch of monkeys on it. EMILY: Baccarat candlesticks for a moneky lamp? LORELAI: They're really, really happy monkeys, Mom. EMILY: Where is this lamp? I want to see it. LORELAI: It's right there on the desk. (Emily walks over to the lamp and looks closely at it.) EMILY: Oh my God! They're holding coconuts and leering! LORELAI: It's funny. EMILY: You traded my lovely gift for for a semi-prn leering monkey lamp? How could you? (Lorelai shrugs.) EMILY: This is not just about the bad breeding of returning a gift. This goes right to the heart of the question of taste. You were given something of substance and you cast it off for a ridiculous, slightly sinister barroom decoration. Explain this to me, Lorelai. (As her mother rants, Lorelai's smile turns to a frown. She sinks lower on the couch and covers herself with a blanket.) LORELAI: My back hurts. (Cut to the Chilton dance. Rory and Dean are standing near the back of the room.) RORY: Well it's a very good room. DEAN: Looks historical. RORY: I commend the person that suggested this very location. DEAN: So, we could just get our picture taken and leave. RORY: We could. DEAN: Or we could dance a little first. RORY: Yeah? DEAN: I stress a little. RORY: Something slow. DEAN: That sounds good. (Madeline and Louise are sitting at a table at the dance.) LOUISE: Can we go yet? MADELINE: We haven't even eaten dinner. LOUISE: I'm bored. MADELINE: We have to wait for Paris anyway. LOUISE: Fine. Give me your roll. MADELINE: Wow. LOUISE: What? MADELINE: Rory Gilmore. God, she's got good hair. LOUISE: Who's the dish? MADELINE: Beats me. LOUISE: He's not of the manor born, that's for sure. Let's go. (Madeline and Louise saunter over to Rory and Dean.) RORY: So, should we dance or should we sit first? LOUISE: Rory...you came. Oh, great dress. Who's it by? RORY: Lorelai Gilmore. MADELINE: You made it yourself? RORY: No, my mom made it for me. MADELINE: (impressed) She did? Really? RORY: Yeah. LOUISE: So you traveling with a bodyguard now? RORY: Oh, no. This is my -- this is Dean. Dean, this is Louise and Madeline. DEAN: Hey. MADELINE: My mom can't make anything. LOUISE: (flirting) How tall are you? DEAN: Uh... MADELINE: Soup! She can make soup! LOUISE: You know, my whole family is really tall. The men, mostly. What are you -- 6'1", 6'2"? RORY: What, does he get like a prize if he guesses? MADELINE: One kind of soup, actually. It's green, lumpy. DEAN: I'm 6'2". MADELINE: Actually, she can't make soup either. LOUISE: Six-two's a good height. DEAN: You think? LOUISE: I think. DEAN: Huh. (Dean moves behind Rory and puts his arms around her waist.) DEAN: What do you think? Too tall? RORY: Not in heels. DEAN: Good. RORY: Although the saddle shoes make it kind of difficult. DEAN: Well I'll just have to stoop then. RORY: I guess so. LOUISE: OK. I'm bored. (Louise turns and walks away.) MADELINE: I like your dress. RORY: Thanks. (Madeline follows Louise. A slow song starts as Rory turns in Dean's arms.) RORY: Hey, you're nice. DEAN: Slow song. RORY: Let's go. (Rory and Dean are about to dance when Paris and her date walk up to them.) PARIS: Rory. RORY: Paris. PARIS: I see you came. RORY: You sold me the ticket. JACOB: I'm Jacob. RORY: Hi, I'm Rory. This is Dean. DEAN: Hi. JACOB: Hi. PARIS: Excuse us. (Paris drags Jacob away.) PARIS: Those are not friends. JACOB: I was being polite. PARIS: Well don't DEAN: So, that's Paris? RORY: Yes, it is. DEAN: She seems fun. RORY: Oh, yeah, she is. DEAN: OK, so, this dancing thing is not something I want you to get used to or comment on. RORY: Now, that goes both ways. (They start to dance.) DEAN: Hey, if I kiss you is a nun gonna come out here and boot me out of here RORY: It's not a Catholic school. DEAN: So I can kiss you? RORY: Yeah, you can kiss me. (Tristin is watching Rory and Dean kissing.) CISSY: OK, I'm perfect now. TRISTIN: (without enthusiasm) Great. CISSY: You wanna dance? TRISTIN: Nope. CISSY: You wanna eat? TRISTIN: Nope. CISSY: You wanna go make out? TRISTIN: Yeah, alright, let's go. DEAN: So, Ponyboy, you happy? RORY: Yeah, I'm happy. (Cut to Lorelai and Emily.) EMILY: There you go. LORELAI: Mom, I think somebody already ate that. EMILY: That is a mashed banana on toast. LORELAI: OK. EMILY: I used to make this for you all the time when you were a little girl. LORELAI: You did? EMILY: Yes, whenever you got sick I made this. LORELAI: Are you sure it wasn't the other way around? EMILY: You don't want it. LORELAI: No, no, I want it. EMILY: I'll just take it back to the kitchen LORELAI: No, Mom, I said I want it. EMILY: Are you sure? Because I can throw it away. LORELAI: Relinquish the banana, please. Mmm. EMILY: You can't possibly be comfortable like that. LORELAI: Mother, please, this is the first position in 24 hours that that has not made me crazy. EMILY: Alright. (pause) You're not eating. LORELAI: Mom. EMILY: Yes? LORELAI: Please don't make me eat this. EMILY: You have to eat something. LORELAI: Well, Sookie left me a burrito in the fridge. EMILY: I'll go warm it up for you. LORELAI: I can eat it cold. EMILY: Oh. Fine. I'll just go get it then. LORELAI: Hot's better though. EMILY: I'll be right back. (Cut to the dance.) DEAN: OK, uh, I need something to drink. Do you want some punch? RORY: Sure. (Jacob approaches Rory when Dean goes to get their punch.) JACOB: Hi, Rory, right? RORY: Yes. JACOB: We met earlier with Paris... RORY: Yes, I remember. JACOB: Are you having a good time? RORY: Actually I am. You? JACOB: It's OK. So, was that your boyfriend? RORY: Oh. I don't know. I'm not sure. JACOB: You're not sure? RORY: We've only been going out a little while, so... JACOB: So, there's still a little room to play? RORY: What? JACOB: Would you like to dance? RORY: Oh, no thanks. JACOB: Maybe I could get your number. RORY: What for? JACOB: To call you. RORY: I'm sorry, aren't you here with Paris? JACOB: Yeah. RORY: So maybe you shouldn't be over here asking me for my number then. JACOB: Why? Paris is my cousin. RORY: Your cousin? JACOB: Yeah. RORY: Paris is your cousin? You're related? JACOB: Yeah. RORY: Jacob, it's been very nice to meet you. I hope you have a lovely evening. (Cut to Lorelai and Emily watching TV.) EMILY: Oh look -- Barbara Stanwyck. I just love Barbara Stanwyck. LORELAI: Oh yeah, she's good. EMILY: She had that wonderful voice -- that husky, deep voice. I just love that voice. LORELAI: You know Mom, you have kind of a Barbara Stanwycky voice. EMILY: Oh I do not. LORELAI: I mean it. You could have gotten Fred McMurray to off Dad if you'd really wanted to. EMILY: Oh you do enjoy teasing me, don't you? LORELAI: You know, I really do. EMILY: You know, Rory looked so lovely tonight. LORELAI: She did, didn't she? EMILY: I just can't get over how she's grown up into that little woman who walked out of here. LORELAI: I know. (pause) You know what, Mom? EMILY: You did a lovely job. LORELAI: Thank you. EMILY: With Rory and the dress. LORELAI: Thank you. EMILY: Well, let me get this out of your way. You really don't remember me making this for you when you were sick? LORELAI: I don't. I'm sorry EMILY: Well I did and you loved it. LORELAI: You know what? Let me give it a try. (Lorelai bites into the toast.) LORELAI: Hmm. EMILY: Yes? LORELAI: It's even more disgusting than I thought it was going to be. EMILY: Oh it is not. (Emily takes a bite and makes a face.) EMILY: Oh my God, it's horrible! What on earth was I thinking? (Cut to the dance.) DEAN: So, uh, you want to maybe go? RORY: You're bored. I'm sorry. Yeah, let's go, right away. DEAN: I'm not bored. I thought, you know, there's still a little time left, maybe we could get a cup of coffee somewhere, hang out a little, talk a walk. You know, just us. RORY: That'd be nice. DEAN: No, you stay. I'll get the coats. (After Dean leaves, Paris walks up to Rory sitting at the table and leans into her.) PARIS: So. How many people have you told? Four? Five? Everybody? RORY: What are you talking about? PARIS: You know that Jacob is my cousin and now you finally have all the ammniton to pay me back, right? (The people nearby are starting to stare.) RORY: I don't want to pay you back. I just want to get awy from you. PARIS: (voice gets increasingly louder) Now you can just go all over the school and just tell everybody that Paris Geller couldn't get a date to the dance. That she had no one and since she couldn't just not come, she had to get her mother to ask her cousin Jacob to take and then she had to give him gas money to make him do it. Go ahead! Tell them! RORY: I don't have to. You just did. (Paris and Rory look around. Everyone has stopped dancing and is listening to them. Paris walks away.) (Dean is returning with the coats.) TRISTIN: You know, we haven't met. DEAN: No, we haven't. TRISTIN: I'm Tristin. DEAN: Ah, yes we have. TRISTIN: What are you talking about? DEAN: Rory's mentioned you. TRISTIN: Oh yeah? DEAN: Yeah. I wouldn't get quite so excited about it. TRISTIN: Oh, why, did she say something mean? DEAN: She said you're a jackass. TRISTIN: Really? DEAN: Actually, no, Rory doesn't use words like that. I embellished a little. TRISTIN: Oh so you're the big strong protector? Little princess needs a protector? DEAN: What's your problem, man? TRISTIN: Nothing. Just don't like your girlfriend, that's all. DEAN: Really? Doesn't look that way to me. TRISTIN: I don't really care how it looks to you. DEAN: Hey. You got in my path, not the other way around. (Dean starts to walk away. Tristin steps in his way.) DEAN: You're kiding right? TRISTIN: Why, are you going somewhere? DEAN: Get out of my way Dristan. TRISTIN: Oh, aren't you clever. (Rory steps between them.) RORY: Hey, what's going on? TRISTIN: Nothing. Just getting to know your boyfriend here. DEAN: It's going really well, don't you think? TRISTIN: Oh yeah. We're just about to build a clubhouse. RORY: OK. Well I hate to break up the party, but we should go. TRISTIN: Oh, why? Little girl's got to be home? DEAN: Stop. TRISTIN: No, I think you two make a very cute couple. Is your horse and buggy parked outside? Got to get home for the barn raising? DEAN: Let's go. (Dean and Rory start to walk away. Tristin steps in front of Rory. Dean shoves Tristin. People around them stop dancing and start watching the two guys.) DEAN: What the hell do you think you're doing? TRISTIN: OK, you will not push me again. DEAN: Are you seriously trying to act tough? You're wearing a tie for God's sake. TRISTIN: Outside! Now! (The music stops abruptly.) DEAN: I'm not fighting you. It'd be like fighting an accountant. I'll call you when I need my taxes done. (Tristin lunges for Dean. It takes a few other boys and a man to separate them.) DEAN: You don't want to fight me Tristin! TRISTIN: Why not? DEAN: 'Cause I'll kll you, idiot! Come on, Rory, let's go. (As Rory and Dean walk away, Tristin breaks free from the people holding him back. Dean turns around and gets in his face.) DEAN: You will not come near her. Ever again. (Dean and Rory leave.) MADELINE: Wow. That was good. LOUISE: Whatever. (Paris runs up to Tristin.) PARIS: Are you OK? (Tristin keeps walking.) LOUISE: Did you really bring your cousin? (Paris walks off.) (Cut to Lorelai's house. Lorelai is sleeping on the couch. Emily is still watching TV. She reaches over for the remote control.) LORELAI: (sleepy) What are you doing? EMILY: Go to sleep. LORELAI: The movie's not over. EMILY: I'll tell you how it ends. (Emily tucks Lorelai's hair behind her ear and covers her with a blanket.) LORELAI: Thank you, Mommy. (Emily sits in a chair to read.) (Cut to Rory and Dean walking outdoors in Stars Hollow.) DEAN: That was quite a dance. RORY: I seriously don't know what got into him. DEAN: I do. RORY: What? DEAN: He has a thing for you. RORY: No he doesn't. It's just a game to him or something. DEAN: He has a thing for you. RORY: He does nothing but insult me and make me miserable. DEAN: He has a thing for you. RORY: I don't know how I feel about this whole situation. DEAN: What do you mean? RORY: I don't know...having my boyfriend defend my honor. It's weird. DEAN: Uh, boyfriend? RORY: What? DEAN: You said 'boyfriend.' RORY: No! I just meant boyfriend in the sense that the whole defending me thing was very boyfriendy, but only in the broadest sense of the word, which doesn't even apply at all here. DEAN: You are seriously babbling. RORY: I didn't mean that you're my boyfriend. DEAN: OK. RORY: I don't think you're my boyfriend. DEAN: OK. (pause) RORY: Dean? DEAN: What? RORY: Are you my boyfriend? DEAN: In the broadest sense of the word way? RORY: No, in the real, 'hi this is Dean, my boyfriend' kind of way. DEAN: Well I am if you want me to be. RORY: I do. DEAN: OK. RORY: So it's settled. DEAN: Yes it is. RORY: You're my boyfriend. DEAN: That's the consensus. RORY: I'm feeling pretty good about this decision. (The door to Miss Patty's dance studio is open.) RORY: I guess Miss Patty forgot to lock up. DEAN: I've never really seen in here before. (They're inside, looking at the pictures on the walls.) DEAN: Are all these women really Miss Patty? RORY: Yep. She said she's done everything there is to do in show business except set fre to the hoop the dog jumps through. (Rory drops her purse.) DEAN: I'll get it. God, this weighs a ton. What do you have in here? RORY: I don't know. A lipstick, five dollar bill. Gum, hair spray, a book. DEAN: A book? RORY: Yeah. DEAN: You brought a book to the dance? RORY: Yeah. DEAN: You thought there'd be a lot of downtime? RORY: No. I just take a book with me everywhere. It's just habit. DEAN: So, uh, what are you reading? RORY: The Portable Dorothy Parker. (She shows him the book.) DEAN: (reading) 'There's little in taking or giving. There's little in water or wine. This living, this living, this living, Was never a project of mine.' Cheery. (They settle into a comfortable chair together.) RORY: Funny though. (pause) Hey -- DEAN: What? RORY: Thank you for tonight. It was perfect. DEAN: You're welcome. (They kiss then continue to look at the book.) (Time lapse. They've fallen asleep.) (Time lapse. They're still asleep. Miss Patty and a large group of women come into the dance studio.) MISS PATTY: OK, ladies. Grab your yoga mats. WOMAN: I don't think I'll ever get warm again. (The women gather around Rory and Dean.) WOMAN: (shocked) Oh, my goodness! It's Lorelai's girl! WOMAN #2: Patty! Rory Gilmore is here! MISS PATTY: What? WOMAN: She's over here. Asleep with the bag boy from the market. WOMAN #2: What are we supposed to do? MISS PATTY: Rory, honey. It's Miss Patty. Rory? Rory, what are you doing here? RORY: Miss Patty? MISS PATTY: Yes. have you been here all night? RORY: Oh no! Dean wake up. DEAN: What time is it? MISS PATTY: It's 5:30 in the morning. RORY: Oh my God! We fell asleep. How could we have fallen asleep? DEAN: Calm down, I'll explain it to your mom. RORY: (hysterical) Where's my purse? Where's my purse? DEAN: I got it. Relax. RORY: I have to go. (Rory runs out.) DEAN: Rory! (runs after her) Wait up! RORY: I have to go. DEAN: I'm going with you. We'll explain. It'll be OK. RORY: No you can't come with me. You shouldn't be anywhere near my house right now. DEAN: It's not our fault. RORY: I know. I just have to get home. DEAN: Look, please, please let me come with you. RORY: No! DEAN: Rory -- RORY: I have to go home. (Rory runs down the street towards home. Dean lets her go.) (Cut to Lorelai's house. Emily is shaking Lorelai awake.) EMILY: Lorelai! Get up. Now. Right now! LORELAI: What? EMILY: Rory's not home! LORELAI: Rory's what? EMILY: I sat in that chair all night and I dozed off for one second and the next thing I know it's 5:30 and she's not here. LORELAI: Rory? EMILY: She's not there. Aren't you listening? LORELAI: (panicked) Rory? Rory? EMILY: Where's the phone? Call the police. (Lorelai looks around.) EMILY: What are you doing? Call the police! Call the police! LORELAI: Mom, stop it! EMILY: What are you doing? LORELAI: I'm looking for the phone. What do you think I'm doing? EMILY: Why don't you ever clean up around here? This is an emergency and you can't even find the phone. What if there was a fre? What if Rory was choking? LORELAI: Mom, stop yelling! EMILY: Rory is missing! LORELAI: I know that and your yelling is not helping me! (They continue looking for the phone. It rings) LORELAI: Rory? (pause) Oh, Patty. (pause) What? (pause) OK. (pause) Thanks. (pause) No, than you so much. (pause) OK Bye-bye. (hangs up) Rory's OK. EMILY: Where is she? What happened? LORELAI: She and Dean were at Miss Patty's. EMILY: What is that, a motel? LORELAI: Um, it's a dance studio. That was Patty. She said that she found them asleep and woke them up and Rory's on her way home. EMILY: In what state were they found in? LORELAI: She didn't say, OK. Let's just try to be calm until we know what happened. EMILY: What do you mean 'until we know what happened'? We know what happened. LORELAI: No we don't. EMILY: They were out all night! LORELAI: I'm gonna make some coffee. EMILY: Lorelai Gilmore, I've watched you do a lot of stupid things in your life and I have held my tongue. LORELAI: (laughs) You've what? EMILY: But I will not stand by and let you allow that girl to ruin her life. LORELAI: Mom -- back off. EMILY: She spent the night out with that boy, the one you let her run off to that dance with. LORELAI: Mom, so help me God, I will not get into this with you. EMILY: She's doing the same thing you did. LORELAI: No she's not. EMILY: She's going to get pregnant. LORELAI: No she's not. EMILY: She's gonna ruin everything just like you did. LORELAI: No she's not! No she's not! No she's not! Rory is a good kid, Mom! She's not me. EMILY: What kind of mother are you to allow this to happen to her? LORELAI: Oh, I don't know, Mom. What kind of mother were you? EMILY: You're going to lose her. You're going to lose her just like I lost you. LORELAI: I am not going to lose her. Do you hear me? Even if I hadn't gotten pregnant, you still would have lost me. I had nothing in that house. I had no life. I had no air. You strangled me. I do not strangle Rory. EMILY: Oh you're so perfect and I was so horrible. I put you in good schools. I gave you the best of everything. I made sure you had the finest opportunities. And I am so tired of hearing about how you were suffocated and I was so controlling. Well if I was so controlling why couldn't I control you running around getting pregnant and throwing your life away. LORELAI: Get out! EMILY: What? LORELAI: You will not come into my house and tell me I threw my life away. Look around, Mom. This is a life. It has a little color in it so it may look a little unfamiliar to you, but it's a life. And if I hadn't gotten pregnant I wouldn't have Rory. (Rory sneaks in the front door and hides by the stairs.) EMILY: You know that's not what I meant. LORELAI: Maybe I was some horrible uncontrollable child like you say, but Rory isn't. She's smart and careful and I trust her and she's gonna be fine and if you can't accept that or believe it, then I don't want you in this house! (Emily walks out and slams the door. Rory creeps into the kitchen.) RORY: Mom, thank you for saying all those -- LORELAI: What were you thinking? Staying out all night! Are you insane? RORY: I'm sorry. It was an accident. LORELAI: You're talking to the queen of staying out all night. I invented the concept! This is no accident! You can't do this! Period. RORY: Nothing happened! LORELAI: Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up with my mother here and find out that you never came home? RORY: So all this is about Grandma being here. LORELAI: No, it's about the feeling of complete terror when your kid isn't in her bed in the morning. RORY: I'm sorry. LOREAI: And then it's about a whole different kind of terror when you find out that she spent the night with some guy. RORY: I didn't spend the night with him. We fell asleep. LORELAI: You are going on the pill. RORY: What? LORELAI: You're not getting pregnant. RORY: I'm not sleeping with Dean. LORELAI: Dammit! RORY: What happened to all that stuff you said to Grandma What happened to trusting me? Where did all that go? LORELAI: I think it's back on Patty's yoga mats. RORY: This is crap! You know I didn't do anything. You know this is an accident. You're just mad because I screwed up and I did it in front of Grandma and she nailed you for it. Well I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I screwed up and I'm sorry that you got yelled at, but I didn't do anything and you know it! (Rory goes into her room and slams the door. Lorelai sits at the kitchen table and cries.) The End	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x09 - Rory's Dance"}	foreverdreaming
1.10 - Forgiveness and Stuff written by John Stephens directed by Bethany Rooney CUT TO MISS PATTY'S STUDIO MISS PATTY: People please pay attention. Now, I want my before Mary over here, and my after Mary over here. Wise men, shepherd line up for the processional. I only have half a donkey? I need the rest of the donkey! [Kirk standing on stool while Lorelai hemming] KIRK: Ow! LORELAI: Hold still Kirk. KIRK: You stuck me. LORELAI: I did not stick you. KIRK: You did to. LORELAI: Ok, be quiet now. [looks at Rory] RORY: Um, Taylor, the baby Jesus is missing an arm again. TAYLOR: What? RORY: I was just getting it out of the trunk and - TAYLOR: Let me see that. Oh for Pete's sake! [to everyone] Ok listen up! The arm is missing! I repeat the arm is missing! RORY: Maybe it's just time to get a new baby Jesus, you know, one that's a boy. TAYLOR: It's a doll, no one can tell. RORY: Well it has a bow. TAYLOR: This has been the baby Jesus in every Christmas pageant since 1965. Were you here in 1965? RORY: No I wasn't. TAYLOR: Find the arm [Rory looks at Lorelai] LORELAI: What are you doing? KIRK: Nothing. LORELAI: You're flinching. KIRK: You stuck me once. There's nothing to say you won't do it again. LORELAI: Ok you know what? You're done. TAYLOR: Well? RORY: I swear, I've looked twice. TAYLOR: Look again. MISS PATTY: Taylor come quickly. Our before' Mary is about to become an after'. Who else in town is knocked up? [Lorelai and Rory look at each other awkwardly then look away. Pan to them leaving] LORELAI: Find the arm? RORY: Nope. LORELAI: [sourly]It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. [pan to dog with doll arm in mouth] CUT TO RORY STANDING IN A GAZEBO [Lane runs up to her] LANE: Hey, I thought we were meeting at Luke's. RORY: We were? Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I forgot. LANE: Let me guess. You and Lorelai haven't made up yet? RORY: Nope. Things are still Miracle Worker at my house. God, how did everything get so screwed up? LANE: I think you staying out all night with Dean had something to do with it. RORY: And my grandmother being there to witness it didn't help. LANE: Never does. RORY: It sucks. Things were good. School was good, Dean was good. Now my mother and I are barely speaking. Mom and Grandma are barely speaking. Dean's new name is Narcolepsy boy'. LANE: How's he taking it? RORY: I don't know. I haven't talked to him since it happened. LANE: That was four days ago. RORY: I know. LANE: Has he called? RORY: I told him not to. LANE: And he listened? RORY: No. LANE: Good boy. RORY: Ok, I really need to talk about something else now. LANE: You went shopping. RORY: Yes I did. I got a mow-ing cow shaped timer for Sookie, some cardio-salsa tapes for Michel, a book for Dean - LANE: You got Dean a book? RORY: Yeah. Metamorphosis'. LANE: Metamorphosis.' RORY: It's Kafta. LANE: Very romantic. RORY: I think it is romantic. LANE: I know I've always dreamed that some day a guy would get me a really confusing Czechoslovakian novel. RORY: I think he'll appreciate it. LANE: A book sends the wrong message. RORY: What are you talking about? LANE: You have to look at what a gift says to the other person, not to you. Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume? RORY: Yeah. LANE: Ok, to me that said, Hey mom, you work hard, you deserve something fancy'. Now to my mother, it said Hey mom, here's some smelly sex juice, the kind I use to lure boys with' and resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer. RORY: Yeah but - LANE: Just imaging that you actually gave Dean something really romantic, and he gave you a football. Your hypothetical romantic present is saying that you really, really like him. And his present is saying Hey man, let's just be friends'. RORY: And you're saying that this book is - LORELAI: Is a Czechoslovakian football, yes. RORY: So then what do I get him? LANE: What you should do is find out what he's getting you and gauge your gift accordingly. RORY: But doesn't that kinda take the fun out of it? LANE: Gift giving is serious business. If you don't believe me try spending a month at Korean Bible camp. CUT TO INN MICHEL: Yes right there. Now flip the elf and the fairy. GUY: Which one is the fairy? MICHEL: The one with the wand [Guy goes for one] What are you doing? GUY: Isn't this a wand? MICHEL: No, that is a staff. GUY: So this isn't a fairy? MICHEL: That is Little Bo Peep. GUY: And you don't want to move her. MICHEL: I would prefer that you didn't. GUY: Ok, so we're still looking for a fairy. MICHEL: The search continues. GUY: No chance you're going to help me. MICHEL: None whatsoever. [phone rings] LORELAI: Independence Inn, Lorelai speaking. EMILY: Lorelai. LORELAI: Mom, hello. EMILY: I wanted to talk to you about the Christmas dinner this Friday. LORELAI: Ah, Christmas dinner. EMILY: You forgot. LORELAI: Well mom, there's been a lot going on around here lately, your Christmas shindig's not exactly high on my list of things to obsess about. EMILY: Well I'm sorry if the timing is bad Lorelai, but the world doesn't always revolve around you. LORELAI: Well thanks for the tip. EMILY: Cocktails are at 6, dinner's at 8. LORELAI: I probably won't be there for cocktails. EMILY: Why not? LORELAI: Because I have to work. EMILY: You can't leave work early? LORELAI: No I can't. EMILY: Why not? LORELAI: Because it's not in my job description. EMILY: Well then don't come. LORELAI: What? EMILY: Don't come. It's obviously an enormous burden for you. LORELAI: Yeah but - EMILY: Just send Rory. LORELAI: You're telling me not to come to the Christmas party? EMILY: Well you're obviously too busy. LORELAI: I had the German measles in the 5th grade, I still had to show up to the Christmas party. EMILY: Lorelai let's be honest here, I'm not too happy with you right now and I assume you're not too happy with me. LORELAI: My polka dot dress matched my face and still I had to sit through 12 courses. EMILY: I am tired of forcing you to do all those terrible things that infringe upon your life and I do not have the energy to pretend that the way you treated my the other day was in any way acceptable. LORELAI: So you're uninviting me to Christmas dinner? EMILY: Yes I am. LORELAI: Fine. EMILY: Fine. LORELAI: Ok, anything else? EMILY: I believe that's all. LORELAI: Ok well, great mom, it's been swell talking to you. EMILY: Bye Lorelai. LORELAI: Bye. [Pan to Michel and guy] GUY: This one? MICHEL: No. GUY: This one? MICHEL: No. GUY: This - MICHEL: No. [guy points] MICHEL: No. CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE RORY: I wish you'd change your mind. LORELAI: It's not my mind that needs to be changed. RORY: I don't think she meant it. LORELAI: Oh she meant it. RORY: Well maybe she thinks she meant it at the time, but I bet she won't mean it later when I show up there without you. LORELAI: And without a map to follow that reasoning I say, Take a hot it's cold outside'. RORY: You just wanna hold a grudge. LORELAI: Yes, it burns more calories. RORY: That's not true. LORELAI: Yes it is, how do you think your grandma got those legs of hers? She's not exactly a Stairmaster gal. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: Never saw her on the running track. RORY: Ok. LORELAI: I don't remember the country club organizing a Tae-bo class. RORY: Fine, forget it. Should I put your name on Grandma's present? LORELAI: Yes, sign it the inn keeper formally known as her daughter. RORY: You know what I think? LORELAI: What? RORY: I think you're acting a little immature. LORELAI: I'm not acting. RORY: Well what about the apple tarts? You wait all year for those apple tarts. LORELAI: I can live without the apple tarts. RORY: You've made up songs after eating five of them with lyrics that contradict that last statement. LORELAI: Oh you know what? You have to go, you're late. RORY: You really won't come? LORELAI: What, I'm sorry, is somebody speaking? Couldn't be Rory, she's already half way to Hartford. RORY: Fine, I'm going. LORELAI: Drive carefully. Watch out for ice. And bring me back one of those [door closes]..tarts! CUT TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE [Doorbell] RORY: Hi Grandma. EMILY: Rory, come in. You look lovely. RORY: This is from me and mom. EMILY: Well aren't you thoughtful? I'll just put it under the tree. RORY: You know mom actually picked it out. EMILY: Rory, do you know Holland Prescott? RORY: I met her last year. EMILY: Holland, look who's here. HOLLAND: Hello Rory. RICHARD: That's not my proposal. ALAN: Yes, I know. Henry toned it down a little. RICHARD: Henry did! Henry is a toddler! ALAN: He thought your take was a little conservative. RICHARD: And a moron! ALAN: Richard, be very careful. This man may be our boss one day. RICHARD: Oh that will never happen. ALAN: Alright. RICHARD: Why have you heard something? EMILY: Richard, Alan, look who's here. RICHARD: Hello Rory. RORY: Hi. ALAN: Where's your mother? RORY: Oh, well, she... ALAN: Over by the apple tarts I assume. EMILY: Lorelai couldn't come tonight. RICHARD: She couldn't? EMILY: No, she had to work. [Rory looks at her] RICHARD: Ah. Speaking of which, I'm going to give that man a call. ALAN: Richard, you're getting yourself all worked up. RICHARD: As long as I've been with this company, it has been run by gentleman. Revising a man's work without so much as a phone call would've been unheard of! ALAN: It's a new world out there Richard. RICHARD: Oh! EMILY: Please stop all this shop talk. We are here to celebrate. RICHARD: I'm going to call him. ALAN: Richard, it's past midnight in London. RICHARD: Oh, even better. RORY: Grandma, could I talk to you alone please. EMILY: You need something to drink. RORY: I want to apologize about the other night. EMILY: Rory please, this is a party. RORY: I messed up, it's my fault. EMILY: This is not the time or place to discuss this, your mother should have taught you that. RORY: Please don't be mad at her. EMILY: I'm not mad at anyone. Now go back in and join the party. RORY: But - EMILY: And take this to Gigi on your way back. CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE LORELAI: Yes Joe, I know it's Friday night, but I ordered my pizza an hour ago...Oh no I did not hear about the delivery van...Well I am very, very sorry to hear that. Now was it a fairly new van? Great, ok, well Joe, as with most tragedies in life there come a time when you just need to pick up and move one. So what's the next phase of the delivery saga? Mm-hmm...Well how long until your brother's back with the razor scooter? Ok, uh-huh, alright, just call me when it gets there. Bye Joe. [Goes into the kitchen, grams a salad bag, pours dressing into it, shakes it and sits down to read a magazine and eat. Hears a knocking at Rory's window. Goes into Rory's room and sees Dean at the window. Opens window] LORELAI: Well, hi there. DEAN: Hi. LORELAI: How you doing? DEAN: Fine. LORELAI: Good, good. Shouldn't you have a squeegee with you or something? DEAN: I was just - LORELAI: Looking for Rory? DEAN: Yeah. LORELAI: She's not here. DEAN: Ok. LORELAI: [sighs] I'll tell her you tapped. DEAN: Thanks. LORELAI: Mm-hmm [goes to close window but Dean hasn't moved] Something else? DEAN: I just wanted to say that things got all messed up. LORELAI: Yes they did. DEAN: And I'm sorry. LORELAI: Uh-huh. DEAN: But nothing happened. LORELAI: Ok, I have to go. DEAN: We sat down and we were reading this book and then we fell asleep. LORELAI: Pick a more interesting book next time. DEAN: So am I like public enemy #1 with you? LORELAI: #1? I don't know, would you settle for top five? Because I'm still a little hot for that crazy bmb guy who's been living in a cave for a year. DEAN: Please just tell me where I stand. LORELAI: I don't know where you stand ok? All I know is my 16 year old daughter didn't come home one night and you had something to do with that. DEAN: I told you - nothing happened LORELAI: [overlaps Dean] Happened, I heard. DEAN: Look you can hate me but you have to believe me, I would not let anything happen to her. LORELAI: You happened to her. DEAN: I won't hurt her. LORELAI: You know, I was 16 when I had Rory. DEAN: I know. LORELAI: That is the same age she is now. DEAN: I know. LORELAI: She wants to go to Harvard. DEAN: She will go to Harvard and if she doesn't it won't be because of me. [sighs and stands to leave] LORELAI: I don't hate you. DEAN: No? LORELAI: No. Though I did imagine 20 different ways to remove your head from your body. DEAN: Yeah? Well which one looked the best? LORELAI: Hedge clippers. DEAN: Huh. LORELAI: Dull ones. DEAN: Well, I mean sure you wouldn't want it to go quick. LORELAI: Exactly. DEAN: Ok, uh, I'm gonna go. LORELAI: Dean. DEAN: Yeah. LORELAI: You know we have a really nice front door. You might want to use it some times. DEAN: Got it. LORELAI: See ya. CUT TO STREET OUTSIDE LUKE'S [Lorelai walking to Luke's while people ring bells to the tune of The First Noel] DIRECTOR: Henry, you ring on 3. HENRY: I thought I was 2. DIRECTOR: No, Chuck rings on 2, you ring on 3. CHUCK: I'm on 1. DIRECTOR: Are you sure? CHUCK: Nope. Sorry. You're right. I'm 2. DIRECTOR: From the top. [they start again] Henry! CUT TO INSIDE LUKE'S LORELAI: Hey. LUKE: Rory coming? LORELAI: No. LUKE: She on a date? LORELAI: No. LUKE: Good so you've forbid her to see the bag boy. LORELAI: I'd really rather not talk about it right now. LUKE: Just tell me you forbid her to see the bag boy. LORELAI: I did not forbid her to see the bag boy. LUKE: Are you crazy? LORELAI: Well, he looks like he's moving up to produce, so he's suddenly become quite a catch. LUKE: That kid is trouble. LORELAI: Can I order please. LUKE: First time I looked at him, I thought he was trouble. LORELAI: Excuse me, I'm the one who told you I thought he was trouble and you told me you thought I was crazy. LUKE: You are crazy and he is trouble. LORELAI: He is not trouble! He's 6'2...he's beautiful and he's completely in love with my daughter. LUKE: Trouble. LORELAI: Big time. LUKE: I'll get your burger. LORELAI: Wait. Can I see a menu? LUKE: You need to see a menu? LORELAI: Yes. LUKE: You come here everyday. LORELAI: I know, but I usually order the same thing, and tonight I'm in the mood for something a little different. LUKE: Menu. LORELAI: Piece of paper, list of food offered. LUKE: Ok, here. [gives her a menu] It's not in Japanese. LORELAI: Don't you have any kind of holiday special? Something festive? LUKE: I just got some Grey Poupon. That's French. LORELAI: Tonight's my parents big Christmas celebration. There's good food, these amazing apple tarts, big tree. It's the only holiday I actually enjoy going over there for and this year, I'm uninvited. LUKE: Why the hell would anyone celebrate Christmas two weeks early? LORELAI: Did you even hear the part about me being uninvited? LUKE: To your parents' fake Christmas party? LORELAI: Yes. LUKE: I did hear that. LORELAI: Do you care? LUKE: Obviously you do. LORELAI: Yes, I do and I don't know why. LUKE: You liked going... LORELAI: I did. LUKE: Rory's there without you... LORELAI: She is. LUKE: You and Rory aren't getting along right now and you feel bad at being separated during a time you usually share together. LORELAI: Wow. LUKE: Did I mention you come here every damn day? LORELAI: I'll have a burger. LUKE: Coming right up. CUT TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE GIGI: Emily, you've out done yourself yet again. ALAN: Yes, I can't imagine the hours you spent slaving over a hot stove. EMILY: You're teasing me, Alan. ALAN: It's delicious Emily. EMILY: A compliment for my chef is a compliment for me, thank you Alan. RICHARD: I for one would like to know where Henry is at this hour. Probably gallivanting around London like a bull out to stud. EMILY: Richard please. RICHARD: Well how is he supposed to negotiate the contract tomorrow morning if he's been out at all hours with some cheap tramp. ALAN: Knowing Henry, she wasn't cheap. EMILY: This is wildly inappropriate dinner conversation especially in front of a young lady. RICHARD: Is it unbearably hot in here? EMILY: Richard don't loosen your tie at the table. HOLLAND: So what are your plans for the Christmas holidays Rory? RORY: I'll probably just be hanging out with my mom. GIGI: Oh it's such a shame she couldn't come, she's always such a kick. EMILY: Lorelai wasn't feeling well so I suggested she stay home. RICHARD: It is hot in here, I'm going to lower the thermostat [leaves]. HOLLAND: Poor thing, what's wrong with her? EMILY: She has a touch of the flu. Richard forget the thermostat! [Rory looks at her again] GIGI: I thought you said she was working? EMILY: Well she was supposed to work but then she caught the flu so one way or another she couldn't have made it. GIGI: Tell her we missed her. RORY: I will. EMILY: Richard! For heaven sake [getting up to find him]. Richard! CUT TO LUKE'S [Slides a Santa face hamburger in front of Lorelai] LORELAI: What did you do? LUKE: You wanted something festive. LORELAI: You made me a Santa burger. LUKE: It's not big deal. LORELAI: He has a hat and everything. LUKE: Yeah, I just cut a piece of wonder bread, you know, poured a little ketchup, piped on a little cream cheese. LORELAI: No one has ever made me something quite this disgusting before. I thank you. LUKE: You're welcome. [Cell phone rings. Luke point at the no cell phone' sign] LORELAI: What? LUKE: Outside! LORELAI: Are you kidding? It's like the North Pole out there. LUKE: Hey, this sign isn't just a decoration. LORELAI: Honey, nothing in here is a decoration. LUKE: It's disturbs the other customers. LORELAI: Oh really? Maybe we should take a vote. [to customers] Who thinks we shouldn't use cell phones in here? [all raise their hands] Well screw democracy. [goes to answer but stops ringing] Perfect, Now I have to check my voice mail. [Taylor and carolers enter] ALL: ...the new born king'. LUKE: Whoa, what's going on? TAYLOR: Well we were caroling around town and we got a bit chilly and we thought maybe we could trade you a song for some hot chocolate. LUKE: You want free hot chocolate? TAYLOR: No no, we'll sing for it, any tune you like. LUKE: And then I give you free hot chocolate. TAYLOR: Yes. LUKE: Tell you want, you can have your hot chocolate, and pay for it, then go next door and sing for the marshmallows. LORELAI: Oh my God! TAYLOR: These are your neighbors Luke! LUKE: Shut up Taylor. What's going on? [to Lorelai] LORELAI: My father's in the hospital. LUKE: What? LORELAI: Yeah, he collapsed or something. I don't know. I need a cab. I need to call a cab. Where's the phone? I need - can anyone give me - I'm holding a phone. LUKE: Whoa, calm down. LORELAI: No I can't calm down. I need a cab. What's the numbers? God, it's something-cabs, cabs-something-something, 1-800-cabs? Can somebody tell me the damn number of the cab guy?! LUKE: I'll drive you. LORELAI: But there's food and there's people and there's a burger with a face. LUKE: Ok, everybody out! We're closed, let's go. Food's on me. [to Lorelai] Put on your coat and get your stuff. [to Taylor] Taylor, have your hot chocolate then lock up. [to Lorelai] Come on, my truck's out back. LORELAI: Luke, I'm - LUKE: I know, let's go. CUT TO INSIDE TRUCK LORELAI: Look. LUKE: Relax. LORELAI: We're being passed by senior citizens. LUKE: I'm going as fast as I can. LORELAI: Bye Grandma, bye. LUKE: There's ice on the road, those people aren't being safe. LORELAI: Well maybe they're not being safe but at least they're getting somewhere. LUKE: You checked it five times already, I've listened to it twice, it's not changing. LORELAI: Grandpa's in the hospital, please come.' No details, no info. Who taught her to leave a message like that? LUKE: I'm sure she was in a hurry. LORELAI: A person needs details. Why is he in the hospital? How bad is it? What are the circumstances involving him being in the hospital? These are simple questions. LUKE: We'll be there very soon and you'll know everything. LORELAI: What if he's dad? LUKE: He's not dad. LORELAI: How do you know? LUKE: I know. LORELAI: Oh, you're psychic now? You're suddenly getting visions while you're driving 20 mph in the oldest truck known to man? [pause] I'm sorry, you're klling yourself to get me there and I'm yelling at you. I don't mean it. LUKE: I know. LORELAI: I feel like this is one of those moments when I should be remembering all the great times I had with my dad, you know. The time he took me shopping for a Barbie or to the circus or fishing and my mind is a complete blank. LUKE: Well I'm sure it happened. LORELAI: No it didn't. We never did any of that. He went to work, he came home, he read the paper, he went to bed, I snuck out the window. Simple. He was a very by the numbers guy. I was never very good with numbers. LUKE: I'm sure he loves you. LORELAI: You know my dad is not a bad guy. LUKE: I'm sure he's not. LORELAI: He lived his life the way he thought he was supposed to. He followed the rules taught to him by his non-fishing-non-Barbie-buying dad. He worked hard. He bought a nice house. He provided for my mom. All he asked in return was for his daughter to wear white dresses and go to cotillion and want the same life that he had. What a disappointment it must have been for him to get me. LUKE: I can't imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment. LORELAI: I bet you'd buy a Barbie for your daughter. LUKE: Yeah, well, I'd probably give her the cash to buy it herself and meet her by the baseball cards. LORELAI: Hmm. You'll make a great dad. LUKE: You make a great mom. LORELAI: Yeah. It's just the uh, daughter part I don't have down yet. LUKE: Ok, hold on. That Camaro is dust. CUT TO HOSPITAL EMILY: But why can't I see him.? NURSE: They're running some test. EMILY: Well I would like to meet this doctor who's testing him. NURSE: You will. EMILY: Some strange man is working on my husband, I have a right to meet this person. NURSE: You will. EMILY: And I want to see the room you're going to put him in. NURSE: You will. EMILY: And stop saying You will'. Put a proper sentence together for God's sake. NURSE: Ma'am, please wait here. RORY: Did you find out anything? EMILY: Please! They run this place like the CIA [Joshua comes up] Joshua, thank God! This place is infuriating. JOSHUA: It's alright, I'm here, I'm going to check on him right now. Have you filled out the forms yet? EMILY: I don't care about the forms, I want to see my husband. JOSHUA: [to Rory] Is she being obstinate? RORY: Very. JOSHUA: Let me see what's going on and then we'll take it from there. EMILY: And there he goes through the doors. RORY: Maybe I should call mom again. EMILY: Never mind, I'm sure she's very busy. RORY: That's not true, I bet she'd - EMILY: Rory, go get your Grandfather a paper - RORY: But - EMILY: The Wall Street Journal or Barron's. Whatever they have, he'll want something to read when he gets back to his room. RORY: Ok, can I get you something? Maybe a coffee? EMILY: No dear, I'm fine. [Grandma goes around the corner and calls Lorelai's house but gets the answering machine and hangs up. Goes back to the waiting area] NURSE: Ms. Gilmore, uh, I need you to - EMILY: It's not Ms. Gilmore', it's Mrs. Gilmore! Mrs. Gilmore, I'm not a cosmo woman! NURSE: I know this is difficult for you, but if you don't fill out these forms - EMILY: What? You'll do what? I'd like to hear in your most condescending tone what my punishment will be for not filling out these forms in a timely manner. Are there bamboo sh**t involved? Some sort of dark deep hole in the ground? Rats nibbling at my toes? [Pan to Lorelai and Luke in the hospital] LUKE: Ok, we're supposed to follow the blue line, around the corner and then we should be - LORELAI: Where's the scarecrow when you need him? LUKE: Ok, we have to ask someone else. LORELAI: No! No! We just have to pick one. LUKE: Ah, well can't just wander around here aimlessly. LORELAI: Luke, listen to me, somewhere in this hospital are my mother and my father. Now I know I don't get along with them but there has to be some sort of intuition, some sort of blood bond that will somehow lead me to them. LUKE: That's crazy. [overhear] EMILY: My great uncle founded this hospital - LORELAI: And that's Emily. EMILY: You insensitive paper peddler! His portrait is hanging in the lobby, go look. It's right above the sign that says Founder'! LORELAI: Mom! EMILY: Lorelai. LORELAI: What's going on? How is he? EMILY: You came! LORELAI: Well of course I came. How's dad? EMILY: That's what I've been trying to find out but this woman keeps pestering me with idiotic questions like What's the number of my insurance policy and how long have we had it.' NURSE: I need to get this information. EMILY: You need to get sensitivity training! LORELAI: Well, what if I fill out this information and you can go find someone who can tell us how my dad is. NURSE: I'm not supposed to - LORELAI: Or, I could go and you can stay here and continue to discuss this with my mother [Nurse looks at Emily] NURSE: I'll go. LORELAI: Thank you. EMILY: You got rid of her. LORELAI: Yes, so tell me what happened. EMILY: That's amazing. LORELAI: Mom, please. EMILY: I don't know what happened. He was hot and he went to turn down the thermostat and then - [see Luke] were you on a date? LORELAI: What? EMILY: You have an escort? LORELAI: No, it's Luke, Mom. LUKE: Which is her way of saying we weren't on a date. LORELAI: I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. EMILY: Well how am I supposed to know you weren't on a date. It's Friday night and you show up here with a man. LORELAI: With Luke, Mom. EMILY: It's not insane to assume a date was involved. LORELAI: You're right, ok, it's entirely possible that I was out on a date. LUKE: Just not with me. LORELAI: I was eating at Luke's when I got the message. He gave me a ride, end of story. Is Dr. Reynolds here? EMILY: Yes, Joshua got her a while ago. He was supposed to come back the minute he knew something but he hasn't been back yet. LORELAI: Well let's go find him. EMILY: You can't find him! You can't find anyone! Everyone just keeps disappearing behind those doors! LORELAI: Well come on, let's go [goes through doors] EMILY: I didn't know you could do that. [follows Lorelai] LUKE: I'll wait here. [Rory come up] RORY: Luke. LUKE: I gave your mom a ride. We weren't on a date. RORY: Oh, ok. LUKE: She and your grandmother just went back to see if they can find a doctor. RORY: Did they find out anything else about Grandpa? LUKE: I don't think so, but give your mom a couple of minutes back there, I bet she finds something out. RORY: Thanks for bringing her. LUKE: You're welcome. Hey, you ok? RORY: I don't want him to die. LUKE: Well you tell him that when you see him ok? People like to hear that. [Lorelai comes through doors] RORY: Mom! LORELAI: Hey, you! Hi. RORY: It was horrible! It happened so fast. LORELAI: They're about to bring him out of the big test room any minute so just hang in there. RORY: Where's Grandma? LORELAI: Kicking some patient out of the room with the good view. RORY: Really? LORELAI: I hope they get him unhooked fast, otherwise he's going without the life support machine. RORY: So how long before they bring him back? LORELAI: Very soon. RORY: I'd like to do something? LORELAI: Like rollerblade? RORY: Like get some coffee or make phone calls or do something that isn't standing here waiting. LORELAI: Ok, go it. Well as partial as I am to the phone, I'm voting for the get coffee' idea. RORY: Ok, good. Luke tea? LUKE: Ah, peppermint preferably. RORY: I'll be right back. LORELAI: Hey, he's gonna be fine. RORY: I was just getting to know him. LORELAI: I know. RORY: I don't want him to - LORELAI: He's not. Go get your coffee. [Rory leaves] Oh man! [sits with Luke] LUKE: You're very brave for her. LORELAI: Yeah, well it's my turn. God this sucks. LUKE: Hey come on, you gotta think positive here - bright side, good thoughts. Rainbows, unicorns, clowns, little cute...furry - ok I'm out. LORELAI: Thank God. [Grandma comes through doors] EMILY: Alright, we've secured him the room but the pillows are completely unacceptable. I'm gonna see if I can find him some down ones and some slippers. I'll be right back. LORELAI: We'll be right here [gurney passes. Luke breathes deeply, head back] Jeez are you ok? LUKE: Yeah, I'm just not big on hospitals you know the smell, people being wheeled by with tubes sticking out of them, you know, drainage, fluids, gaping holes - LORELAI: Ok, listen, why don't you go home. LUKE: You want me to go? LORELAI: You don't look so good. LUKE: Thanks. LORELAI: That's not what I meant. You know you always look good. LUKE: Yeah? LORELAI: I mean you always look healthy. LUKE: Ok. LORELAI: But you don't look so healthy now. Now you look... LUKE: Unhealthy. LORELAI: Yes. LUKE: Ok. LORELAI: Oh what? So I said you look good. We're not in 5th grade. You look good', big deal. Stop staring at me. [patient passes by] LUKE: Ah, jeez. LORELAI: See that's what you get for being cocky. [Grandpa wheeled out] LORELAI: Uh, how is he? ORDERLY: He's a little groggy right now. LORELAI: What's going on? How are the tests? ORDERLY: The doctor will have to tell you that, I'm just the transport guy. LORELAI: When is the doctor coming out? ORDERLY: I'm not sure but you can go in with your dad until he gets here. LORELAI: Thanks. LUKE: Go ahead, I'm good. LORELAI: That's ok, uh, I'm gonna go find my mom and Rory and tell them he's back up. LUKE: I can tell them when they get here. LORELAI: That's ok, uh, I think they'd like to know now [turns around and almost knocks over her mom] Ah! EMILY: Lorelai, you almost ran me over. LORELAI: Well, good thing we're in a hospital. EMILY: Where were you going? LORELAI: To find you, they just brought dad up. EMILY: When? LORELAI: Just now. EMILY: Well how is he? Did you talk to him? LORELAI: No not yet, I was coming to find you. EMILY: Well come on. LORELAI: You go ahead mom, I'm gonna go find Rory. EMILY: Fine. [goes into room] LORELAI: Ok. LUKE: You know I could look for Rory. LORELAI: No that's ok, I'll do it. LUKE: I thought so. Hey look, it's Rory. [Rory comes up to them] RORY: The coffee machine was jammed so I got us some chicken soup and some Pez. LORELAI: I was just coming to look for you. RORY: Why, is everything ok? LORELAI: They just brought Grandpa back up. He's in room 202. RORY: Well come on. LORELAI: You go ahead, I just - I have to make a call. RORY: Well hurry up. LORELAI: I'll meet you there. LUKE: So who are you gonna go find now? LORELAI: Stop. LUKE: How about Jimmy Hoffa? That'll keep you busy for a while. LORELAI: I said stop. LUKE: You can't avoid going into that room forever. LORELAI: I'm not avoiding anything. I'm going to find coffee. LUKE: The machine's jammed. LORELAI: Well there are other machines. LUKE: Admit you're afraid. LORELAI: You have no idea what you're talking about. LUKE: The truth hurts. LORELAI: No you know what hurts? Having a screwdriver jammed in the side of your head [pointing behind Luke] LUKE: What? [turns around] Oh my God! CUT TO INSIDE HOSPITAL ROOM RORY: Year end optimism in recent earnings reports, have pushed shares of the telecommunications giant about $65'. RICHARD: [weakly] Oh, rubbish. RORY: However, some experts say that the stock is dangerously overvalued.' RICHARD: Ahh. Hmm. EMILY: [Comes into room] Well how are we doing? RORY: We're done the front page of the Financial Times and all of The Wall Street Journal. EMILY: Very good progress. Rory dear, why don't you save the rest of the paper till later hmm? RORY: Ok. [to Grandpa] If I hug you, is it gonna hurt? RICHARD: Pain is part of life. [she hugs him] EMILY: This little girl likes you. RICHARD: Well, she has good taste. [Pan to Rory coming out of room and finds Luke sitting in the chairs beside the room] RORY: Where's mom? LUKE: Looking for coffee. RORY: What are you doing? LUKE: Staring at my shoes. RORY: Ok, carry on. [Pan back inside room] EMILY: Well I finally found you some decent pillows, they're not down but at least they give a little. RICHARD: Emily, we need to talk. EMILY: Can you life your head at all? RICHARD: This is serious. EMILY: Just a little. RICHARD: There is a key in my top desk drawer. EMILY: Better yes? RICHARD: It is to the safe. EMILY: One more time. RICHARD: All of our stock information is in there, plus all of the insurance information. EMILY: Now if I could just find you some different sheets. RICHARD: Our will is in my lower left drawer, Denis has a copy in case there's a problem. EMILY: Maybe I could get Dava to bring some from home - RICHARD: Emily, this is serious. We have to be practical. EMILY: I'm gonna have Dava get those - RICHARD: Emily listen to me, if I die - EMILY: No! RICHARD: Emily. EMILY: Richard Gilmore, there may be many things happening in this hospital tonight but your dying is not one of them. RICHARD: But - EMILY: No! I did not sign on to your dying. And it is not going to happen. Not tonight, not for a very long time. In fact, I demand to go first. Do I make myself clear? RICHARD: Yes Emily. You may go first. EMILY: Good. I'm gonna get you those sheets. [picks up the phone as Richard takes her hand and holds it.] [Pan to Lorelai and Rory by the coffee machine.] RORY: No luck? LORELAI: I think I'm wearing it down. RORY: You're pathetic. LORELAI: Is the doctor back? RORY: Not yet. LORELAI: So, you have a visitor tonight. RORY: Yeah? Who? LORELAI: Narcolepsy boy. RORY: Dean came over? LORELAI: Oh yeah. He pulled the old tapping on the window' bit. RORY: Were you mean? LORELAI: Excuse me, I am never mean. RORY: You were mean. LORELAI: He told me nothing happened. RORY: Nothing did. LORELAI: I know. RORY: You do? Really? LORELAI: Rory, there are only two things that I totally trust in this entire world. The fact that I will never be able to understand what Charo is saying no matter how long she lives in this country - and you. RORY: Hopefully not in that order. LORELAI: You just have to understand the major panic factor that went on there. RORY: I do, I really do and I'm so sorry. Nothing like that will ever happen again. I swear. LORELAI: Don't swear. RORY: Why not? LORELAI: Because you are your mother's daughter. RORY: What does that mean. LORELAI: It means things can happen, even when you don't really mean for them to happen. RORY: They will not happen. LORELAI: Hmm. Ok RORY: I hated going to that party tonight without you. LORELAI: I hated you going to that party tonight without me. How were the apple tarts? RORY: Oh, Grandma didn't make them this year. LORELAI: Really? RORY: Yup. LORELAI: That's weird. RORY: I know. LORELAI: Hmm, are you lying? RORY: Through my teeth. LORELAI: Good girl. [pan to outside Grandpa's room] EMILY: Oh, hello [sees Luke sitting there.] LUKE: Hi. EMILY: If you don't mind, I think I need to just - LUKE: Oh sure. Sit, please. How is he? EMILY: Oh you know he's - I don't know. [playing with Grandpa's tie] LUKE: It's a nice tie. EMILY: It's Brooks Brothers. LUKE: Ah. EMILY: It was bothering him tonight. I told him not to loosen it. I wanted him to look nice for our guests, so he didn't. And then well...The paramedics took it off him on the way here. I just haven't been able to put it down yet [sniffles] I must sound crazy. LUKE: I've kept my father's entire store just the way he left it. EMILY: Really? LUKE: Well I turned it into a diner, but I kept all his stuff on the walls, his pictures in the office, even the Hardware' sign. EMILY: I'm sure he would've appreciated having his life's worked being honored like that. LUKE: He would've called me a damn fool. EMILY: Oh, well. I don't know what Lorelai's told you about her father, I can certainly imagine, but he's a very good man. He always did the right thing for his family. LUKE: That's what she told me. EMILY: So what exactly is going on between the two of you? LUKE: Nothing. Really. We're friends, that's it. EMILY: You're idiots, the both of you. [Lorelai and Rory come back] EMILY: There you are, where have you been? LORELAI: Coffee hunt. So what's going on? LUKE: Your mother called me an idiot. LORELAI: Wow, you must have sucked up good. EMILY: Well I'm going to go wash my face [leaves taking Rory with her.] [Lorelai stands in front of the door to Grandpa's room.] LUKE: So whatcha gonna do? LORELAI: [sighs] Ok, well, I'm just gonna... LUKE: I'll be here. [Lorelai looks at Grandpa who opens his eyes. They look at each other for a couple of seconds and are about to say something when the doctor, Rory and Grandma walk into the room.] EMILY: ...I've heard for such a long time. Richard, how are you darling? JOSHUA: Well Richard, it looks like we're gonna be stuck with you for a while longer. It was just a touch of angina. EMILY: But you have to watch your diet. JOSHUA: Yes, that's going to be very important. No more red meat, heavy desserts and you're going to have to exercise regularly. EMILY: Golf doesn't count. RORY: So can he go home? JOSHUA: We'd like to keep him over night though, just to be sure. RORY: But he's fine. JOSHUA: As long as he does what he's told, yes. [Lorelai sneaks out] [Luke comes around the corner] LUKE: I heard, everything's ok. LORELAI: Yeah, yeah. They're going to keep him over night but - but he's going to be fine. [cries] LUKE: Hey. [Luke hugs her] Ok, see here's where the guy is supposed to give the girl his handkerchief but I don't have one...and plus I find the practice a little revolting so... LORELAI: No, I'm ok. LUKE: You sure? LORELAI: Yeah. LUKE: Alright. Oh hey, I got this for you. LORELAI: Ah, where'd you get that? LUKE: Nurse's lounge. LORELAI: Uh-huh. LUKE: What? You're not the only one who can flirt [Lorelai laughs] The door was open. LORELAI: Thank you. LUKE: Anything else I can do? LORELAI: Could you take Rory home? LUKE: Yeah sure. What about you? LORELAI: I'm gonna stick around here for a while and make sure everything's are settled you know. You take her and I'll drive the jeep back. LUKE: Ok. [Rory comes out] RORY: He's gonna be fine. LORELAI: Yeah, yeah. I think it was those financial papers that really did the trick. [they giggle] So, um, Luke's gonna take you home ok, I'm gonna hang out here for a while. RORY: I'll stay too. LUKE: No, go, call Dean. Talk mushy to each other and then spend an hour arguing over who's going to hang up first. RORY: You are gross. LORELAI: I'll call you later. RORY: Ok, well tell him good bye for me. And tell Grandpa I'll come back tomorrow. LORELAI: Ok, I will, bye. RORY: Bye. LUKE: Ok, walk fast and look straight ahead. [Grandma and Joshua come out, Joshua leaves] EMILY: He's almost asleep. LORELAI: Good. EMILY: Where's Rory? LORELAI: I sent her home with Luke. EMILY: What about you? LORELAI: I thought I'd stick around in case anybody needed anything. EMILY: Really? LORELAI: I mean not you. You obviously don't need anything, but somebody somewhere in this hospital might at some point need something and I'm gonna be the person who gets it for them. EMILY: Would you like to go down to the cafeteria for something to eat? LORELAI: Yes. Maybe somebody in the cafeteria will need something. EMILY: Oh dear. LORELAI: And won't they feel lucky when they see me. Hey I needed something and there you were', it's going to be a great moment. CUT TO LUKE'S LORELAI: Hello. LUKE: Hey, how's your dad? LORELAI: Better, though he says that life is not life unless it includes a steak. How come you're not out with everybody? LUKE: I had some things to do. LORELAI: Right, anyways, this is for you. [giving him a bag] LUKE: What's it for? LORELAI: Just thank you, Christmas, whatever. LUKE: Christmas isn't for two weeks. LORELAI: Do we really have to do this again? [he opens the present. It's a baseball hat] I just thought, you know, God forbid something happens to that one, you might need a spare. Here [put it on forwards] Does that look wrong. [puts in on backwards] There! Oh hey turn out the lights [going to the window] LUKE: For what? It's not the real procession, it's just the rehearsal. LORELAI: So, it's pretty. LUKE: And why do they need to rehearse it? It's the same thing every year. LORELAI: Come on Luke, please. [he turns out the lights and joins her by the window] It's hard to imagine living somewhere else isn't it? LUKE: Thanks for the hat. LORELAI: You're welcome. Looks good on you. LUKE: Good how? LORELAI: Just watch the procession.	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x10 - Forgiveness and Stuff"}	foreverdreaming
1.11 - Paris is Burning written by Joan Binder Weiss directed by David Petrarca (Lorelai and Rory are walking down the street) RORY: L? LORELAI: L-laryngitis. M? RORY: Mumps. N? LORELAI: Narcolepsy! O? RORY: Are we going to have to go through this every time we decide who cleans out the refrigerator? LORELAI: Do you want to go back to thumb wrestling? RORY: Osteoporosis. P? LORELAI: (gasps) Puppies! (runs across the street) RORY: That's not a disease. Oh boy. (runs after her) LORELAI: (to all the puppies) Hi! Oh hi! Hi! Oohh! Rory look at the baby! (in front of one) RORY: Mom. LORELAI: Aw, Buttercup was found cold and wet hovering under a hydrangea bush along highway 26. It's a sad highway. RORY: As compare to all the other happy highways she could've been abandoned by. LORELAI: Her lineage includes cocker spaniel, golden retriever, bouvier des flandres - RORY: Gesundheith LORELAI: Thank you - and rottweiler. RORY: Buttercup is a special dog. She's extremely skiddish and tends to react badly towards blonde haired females, brunette males, children of either sex, other animals, red clothing, cabbage or anyone in a uniform. (Luke walks up to them) LORELAI: (to Luke) Hey, we just found the doggy version of you. MAN: Can I help you? LUKE: Do not let these two anywhere near a dog. They can barely feed themselves. LORELAI: Shut up you! We'd be excellent pet owners, thank you. RORY: You cannot be serious. LORELAI: We could get him a pretty bowl... RORY: It's a her. LORELAI: ...and a new name... RORY: Mom. LORELAI: ..cause this 'Buttercup' thing really has got to go. RORY: Do I need to remind you of Skippy? LUKE: Skippy? LORELAI: I can't believe you would bring up Skippy. RORY: Skippy was our hamster. LORELAI: He doesn't care. LUKE: What happened to Skippy? LORELAI: Nothing happened to Skippy. RORY: Every time mom would put her hand in his cage, he'd bit her. LORELAI: And laugh. LUKE: Hamster's can't laugh. LORELAI: Oh this one laughed - trust me. RORY: So finally she got fed up. LUKE: Of being laughed at by a hamster? LORELAI: Well yeah. RORY: So she stopped cleaning it's cage. Instead everyday she would stuff some Kleenex in there. LUKE: You didn't? LORELAI: It was the quilted kind (with a small smile) RORY: So this keeps going on and the cage is just a cage full of Kleenex that moves a little, and the smell? Really good. LUKE: I can imagine. LORELAI: Oh no you can't RORY: So then she takes the cage to the place where we bought him, waits for the sales guy to go behind the desk and dumps it on the counter then bolts. LUKE: You abandoned your hamster. LORELAI: Look, I know it was bad, but this was a vicious hamster. This was like a Damien hamster with little beady eyes and a big forked tail and...a cape with a...hood...and bye bye Buttercup. Bye Luke. RORY: You did the right thing. (both walking away from the puppies with arms around each other) LORELAI: Oh (in a whiny tone). I want a pet. RORY: You have me. LORELAI: You won't bring me my slippers in the morning. RORY: I might if you had slippers. LORELAI: Will you wear a collar? RORY: No. LORELAI: It'll be pink! RORY: You're sick. LORELAI: Hey watch how you talk to me. Remember what happened to Skippy. (Cut to Max Medina's apartment. He's cleaning while Lorelai sits on the counter eating out of a pot.) LORELAI: Mmm...God this is good! MAX: OK. Correct me if I'm wrong. LORELAI: Salt please. MAX: Twenty minutes ago we were sitting at the dinner table were we not? LORELAI: Yes we were. MAX: There were candles and flowers and plates and knifes and cloth napkins. LORELAI: I love the little sombrero napkin holders, very ole. MAX: And the whole time we were at said dinner table, you ate two maybe three bites of this amazing dinner I made for you. LORELAI: Pass the bread. MAX: And yet, as soon as that dinner's over and I start cleaning up, suddenly that's when you're starving. LORELAI: What can I say - watching someone work makes me hungry. If I hadn't stopped watching "This Old House" I'd be 500 lbs right now. MAX: Hmm. LORELAI: What are you doing? MAX: Passing these to you? LORELAI: In the dish please. Ha ha ha. (as Max puts food into pot.) LORELAI: So where did you learn to make osso bucco anyway? MAX: Um, from this very old Italian woman...who used to live upstairs...um, s-she had lost her husband a couple of years before and she kinda looked at me as like a son. LORELAI: Sweet! MAX: She was. LORELAI: So an old girlfriend huh? MAX: Yep. LORELAI: Mm hm. MAX: So would you like some coffee? LORELAI: Yes please. (Walks by Max and their faces come very close together) (Lorelai walks over to his desk) LORELAI: Hey did you read Rory's paper yet? MAX: Not yet. LORELAI: It's really good. MAX: I'm sure it is. LORELAI: Oh and look! It's right on top. MAX: Isn't that a coincidence? LORELAI: (laughs) Wow, there are some really big words in here. I just hope you have a dictionary with you when you read it. MAX: Oh I will. LORELAI: You know I could just save you the time and uh, put an 'A' on it for you. MAX: Well that really wouldn't be fair to the other students who's mothers aren't here tonight would it? LORELAI: Yes you're right. (pause) Although, life isn't fair and the sooner those kids learn that the better. MAX: Well I'll take that advise into account. LORELAI: (giggles). (turns around to look at his books) Wow these are beautiful!. Hm, I never read Proust, I always wanted to. Every now and then, I'm seized with an overwhelming urge to say something like "As Marcel Proust would say.." but of course I have no idea what Marcel Proust would say so I don't even go there. I could do, uh, "As Micheal Crichton would say.." but it's not exactly the same you know. MAX: Well, take it. LORELAI: Oh no! It-it looks so valuable MAX: It's a book. It's meant to be read. LORELAI: You sure? MAX: Take it, read it. LORELAI: Ok, I will. (She takes the book and sits down and starts to read) MAX: (laughing) Not now! LORELAI: What? MAX: I'd rather you didn't read it now. LORELAI: But um, what about (Max kisses her) my required reading (stands up, moving towards the bedroom, between kissing..) But I won't make the cheerleading squad! (kissing) Mr. Medina, is this my extra credit work because Missy just had to take a test!?! (laughing through kisses. Door closes.) (Cut to Lorelai sneaking in with shoes in hand) (Rory's waiting up on the couch) RORY: Where do you think you're going? LORELAI: Hi. RORY: It's one o'clock in the morning. LORELAI: I know but my watch stopped during a terrible car wreck and I had to save kittens and small children and four baby chicks. RORY: Did you have a nice time? LORELAI: Not bad. (smiling) RORY: That's a very big smile for a not bad night. (Lorelai sits on the couch) LORELAI: Yeah well...Hey he loaned me a book. RORY: What book? LORELAI: 'Swann's Way' RORY: Aren't we ambitious. LORELAI: Yes we are. RORY: You know what it means when a man loans you a book don't you? LORELAI: That he's already read it? RORY: Yep. LORELAI: (laughs a little) How was your night? RORY: Homework. LORELAI: How many times did Dean call. RORY: Not that many. LORELAI: How many? RORY: Three (Lorelai looks at her)...Five. LORELAI: (laughs) Not an all time high but very respectable. I'm going to bed. You staying here? RORY: Yeah. I'm comfortable. I've got the pillows in a perfect mushed position. LORELAI: Ok. Night mom. (kissing Rory) RORY: Yeah you just go think about what you've done. LORELAI: (with big smile) I will. RORY: Hey. LORELAI: What? RORY: You look happy. LORELAI: I am kid. RORY: Just checking. (Cut to Chilton - Mr. Medina's class) MAX: "There's a certain slant of light, winter afternoons that oppresses like the heft of cathedral tunes." That, my friends is the first verse of a poem by Emily Dickenson. Now read some of those tonight, and as you do, consider the fact that Emily Dickenson writes convincingly about passion and about the world in spite of the fact that she lived as a virtual recluse. It'll help you appreciate her mind. (bell rings) MADELINE: I could listen to him talk about passion all day. Do you think he's dating anyone? LOUISE: Of course he is. MADELINE: A teacher? LOUISE: Please. MADELINE: Why not? LOUISE: Have you seen teachers? MADELINE: He's a teacher. LOUISE: Male teachers are different. They can still be mysterious. MADELINE: I bet his girlfriend's pretty. LOUISE: I bet she's dumb. MADELINE: Why? LOUISE: Dumb girls crave smart men. It's that whole Marilyn Monroe - Arthur Miller syndrome. MADELINE: I still think she's lucky PARIS: Whoever he's dating is a loser, who doesn't care that he's a teacher in this ridiculous school making a ridiculous teacher's salary. (to Rory) What are you looking at? (walks away) LOUISE: Guess someone read the paper today. MADELINE: I know. Paris' parent's divorce is getting very ugly! LOUISE: Her dad should've just paid her mom everything she wanted and this whole thing would've been over. MADELINE: That's what my dad did. (to Rory) Hi! LOUISE: Hi. RORY: Hey. MADELINE: Is it true Paris' mom had the entire back of her body surgically reconstructed? LOUISE: Well it doesn't match the front now does it? (Cut to Grandma's house) (Dinner time) GRANDMA: How's the squab? RORY: It's good. GRANDMA: Lorelai? LORELAI: It's the best tiny, weird bird I have ever eaten. GRANDMA: I'm glad. LORELAI: Why are you smiling like that? GRANDMA: What are you talking about? LORELAI: You're smiling. GRANDMA: I'm happy. LORELAI: That's not your "I'm happy" smile. GRANDMA: Well what smile is it Loerlai? LORELAI: That's your "I've got something on Lorelai" smile. GRANDMA: Rory your mother must be very tired. RORY: She works a lot. LORELAI: I grew up with that smile - I know that smile. GRANDMA: Tell me about school. RORY: Well, my French final went pretty well. LORELAI: You can change the subject. I know the smile. GRANDMA: Whatever you say dear. LORELAI: I've used it a few times myself. RORY: Mom. GRANDMA: So tell me about parent's day? LORELAI: What? GRANDMA: Parent's day? Next Wednesday? When all the parents are supposed to go to the classes with their children all day long? LORELAI: The Chilton newsletter came out today! RORY: Yup. LORELAI: Right. GRANDMA: You didn't read yours? LORELAI: Not yet. GRANDMA: Ah. LORELAI: But you knew that - GRANDMA: Well - LORELAI: Hence the smile. GRANDMA: Lorelai, you're really being silly. There's no evil plan a foot here. I simply brought up a subject I thought we could all talk about. LORELAI: Oh right. GRANDMA: I'll try another subject - the colour blue is very pleasant isn't it? LORELAI: Mom not everybody can wait outside the mailbox for the Chilton newsletter to arrive and then instantly memorize the contents in three seconds. RORY: I'd like to weigh in on the blue colour subject please. GRANDMA: You have your priorities far be it from me to question them. LORELAI: Just because I don't read the newsletter doesn't mean I don't care about my daughter. GRANDMA: So are you going? LORELAI: To what? GRANDMA: To parent's day! LORELAI: Why don't we talk about it next Friday when I've actually read the newsletter. I guarantee it'll be more fun. GRANDMA: We could except for the fact that parents day is next Wednesday. LORELAI: Wednesday? RORY: Yup. GRANDMA: If we talked about it on Friday then you would've missed it. LORELAI: Wednesday huh? RORY: It's ok mom, you don't have to be there. GRANDMA: I guess we can talk about how you missed it. LORELAI: I'm won't miss it. RORY: Mom it's not a big deal, you're busy. GRANDMA: You know what - I'll go! LORELAI: What? GRANDMA: Why not? You have to work. I, as you have insinuated, have no life, therefore I will go sit with Rory at parent's day. LORELAI: I'm not busy, I'm going. I will be there - that's it. End of story ok? GRANDMA: Fine. LORELAI: Fine. GRANDMA: So did you read on page two about the mother/daughter talent show? (Lorelai chokes on her food) RORY: You ok? (smiling) (Cut to Gilmore house) RORY: Mom I have to go! It's almost 8 o'clock! (Lorelai running around her room getting ready) LORELAI: Wait! Have you seen my orange suede clip thingy? RORY: Top right hand drawer. LORELAI: It's not there. (Rory huffs and goes upstairs to help) RORY: Did you check in your purse? LORELAI: Yes. RORY: Under your scarves? LORELAI: Yes. (at the bedroom door) RORY: In your sock drawer? (Lorelai looks in the sock drawer and finds it.) LORELAI: (gasps) I love you. RORY: I'm gone. LORELAI: Bye (give Rory a kiss) LORELAI: Hey wait! RORY: What? LORELAI: Blue disco sequence bag? RORY: No! LORELAI: Why? RORY: Bad. LORELAI: Really? RORY: Bye. LORELAI: Bye! (pause) Wait-wait-wait! RORY: Mom come on! Mr. Medina's going to be here any minute! LORELAI: Ok, just tell me one more thing. Where's the silver dangly bracelet? RORY: I'm wearing it. LORELAI: Why are you wearing it? RORY: Because it's mine. LORELAI: Oh...right...Hey can I borrow your silver dangly bracelet? RORY: I'll leave it on the table for you. LORELAI: Thank you. (Rory heads for the door and the doorbell rings) LORELAI: What was that? RORY: The door bell rang? LORELAI: Why did the door bell ring? RORY: Because someone's at the door. (Lorelai comes down the stairs while Max listens from outside.) LORELAI: It's 8 o'clock. Who shows up at 8 o'clock for an 8 o'clock date? RORY: I don't know, maybe a Chilton teacher? LORELAI: Everybody knows that 8 o'clock means 8:20, 8:15 tops! RORY: Well obviously he was raised in a barn. LORELAI: I tell you, he's cute but this punctuality thing has knocked 10 points off the dream guy quotient. RORY: Mom what do I do? I'm not even supposed to be here. LORELAI: Ok so go! (Rory turns to leave) LORELAI: Oh wa-wa-wait! You have to get the door. RORY: What? LORELAI: Yeah, because I'm not ready. RORY: I'm not supposed to get the door remember, we agreed. I don't get the door when you have a date. LORELAI: I know but... RORY: I'm not even supposed to be here. That's the first rule of the 'Gilmore Dating Handbook'. (as Lorelai fiddle with her skirt zipper). Daughter shall be nowhere near house when said man materializes. It's a good rule, it 's been working. LORELAI: Ok, but he's standing out there and it's cold and my slip is now completely stuck in my skirt zipper and they'll have to bury me like this. RORY: Mom! LORELAI: Just this once! (as she runs upstairs) (Rory opens the door) RORY: Hi. MAX: Rory. RORY: Come on in. MAX: Thank you (clears his throat) RORY: Can I get you something, I mean we don't really have anything but if you wanted something and we had it, I'd be happy to get it for you. MAX: I'm fine. RORY: We have water. MAX: That's ok. RORY: It's not bad water actually. I mean it's not a funny colour or anything. MAX: I'm good. Really. RORY: We have bottled water. MAX: No thanks, RORY: One bottle actually. MAX: I-it's quite alright. RORY: We really need to go to the store. MAX: So..should we... RORY: Sit? Right. Yeah let's sit. (They move into living room) MAX: So, uh, what are your plans tonight? RORY: I'm going over to my friend Lane's house. MAX: Sounds good. RORY: And you guys are...? MAX: Dinner, movie - the usual. RORY: Right. (Both look upstairs. Max clears his throat.) MAX: This is a little uncomfortable. RORY: Yes it is. MAX: But the thing is, if things go well, the way I hope they're going, then we might be doing this again. RORY: Sitting uncomfortably? MAX: (laughs) Seeing each other outside of school. RORY: That's ok. I am fine with this whole you and my mom thing. MAX: Well good. I'm glad. RORY: Well, better go. (gets up to leave) MAX: It's good to talk to you Rory. (standing up) RORY: You too Mr. Medina. (She turns to leave) MAX: why don't you call me Max? Just when we're out of school. RORY: (turning back) I don't think I can do that. MAX: Why not? RORY: It just sounds wrong - disrespectful. I mean, you're my teacher Mr. Medina, and if I start to think of you as a 'Max' - even as a part-time 'Max', it just seems lit it would get too confusing. MAX: How 'bout then, we'll come up with non-Chilton names for each other. When we're not in school, I'll call you Rebecca. RORY: Rebecca. MAX: And you'll call me... RORY: Norman? MAX: Norman? RORY: Well... MAX: I look like a Norman to you? RORY: I'm sorry, 'Psycho' was on earlier and it was just the first name that came to mind. I'll think of something else. How about Alfred? MAX: You know what...Norman's fine. RORY: Are you sure? MAX: I'm positive, I love it. I might make a legal change. RORY: Ok. Well I better go. MAX: I hope you and Lane have a good time. RORY: Thanks. Oh, would you give this to my mom for me? MAX: Absolutely. RORY: Thanks. (Rory starts to leave.) RORY: Oh and Norman - have her home by 10. (Max waves her off) (Cut to Luke's) (Rory's sitting at the counter as Sookie and Jackson enter) SOOKIE: I can't believe you won't just sell them to me. JACKSON: And I can't believe you're being so small minded. SOOKIE: My stuffed fried squash blossoms are extremely popular with the customers. JACKSON: Yes I know. SOOKIE: People come from all over and demand the fried stuffed squash blossoms. JACKSON: That's exactly my point! SOOKIE: What'll you have sir? Anything that comes with the stuffed fried squash blossoms. That's what I hear day in and day out. JACKSON: Yes, great, I know, but all I'm asking you is to try stuffing something a little different this time huh? (holds up a zucchini tush) SOOKIE: A zucchini tush? JACKSON: Just a temporary name. SOOKIE: You want me to serve my customers a genetically engineered vegetable that's named after a butt? JACKSON: Hey this is an all natural vegetable hybrid that's perfectly safe, completely delicious, and yes it looks a little odd but you can put in on the map! SOOKIE: I want the blossoms. JACKSON: Fine. You wanna think small, think small. I'm done. (leaves) (Sookie sighs and sits next to Rory) RORY: Jackson invented a new vegetable again? SOOKIE: Yup. RORY: It's too bad that bowling league didn't work out for him. SOOKIE: Yeah. (Lorelai enters with skates over her shoulder) LORELAI: Hey, look I found them. RORY: Where? LORELAI: They were in that drawer with the roasting pans. RORY: Cool. SOOKIE: Oooh skates! LORELAI: Rory and I have a skating date. RORY: I'm Nancy Kerrigan. LORELAI: And I'm Tonya Harding. I'm gonna do the whole shoe lace coming untie - nervous break - let me start again act and everything. LUKE: (laughing) When was the last time you put those things on? LORELAI: Oh, you are constantly trying to ruin my fun. LUKE: Do they even fit anymore? LORELAI: Yes they fit. LUKE: They look rusted. LORELAI: Well...can I just have some coffee please? LUKE: (sighs) Hand them over. LORELAI: Why? LUKE: I'm gonna clean them and tighten the blades. LORELAI: Really!?! LUKE: Yes. LORELAI: Can you make them really shiny? LUKE: The skates please. LORELAI: Maybe add a couple of pompoms. LUKE: Just hand them over. LORELAI: Thank you! SOOKIE: You get really good service here. LORELAI: Yeah I do. (Sookie's pager goes off.) SOOKIE: Gotta go. LORELAI: Anything wrong? SOOKIE: Too much yeast, too little bowl. LORELAI: Enough said. LORELAI: (to Rory) So I think I'm just going to go for it and wear the fur-trimmed skating skirt, pride be damned. RORY: Hey, what if we invite Max to go skating with us? LORELAI: M-max? RORY: Yeah, I thought maybe he'd want to go. LORELAI: When did you start calling him Max? RORY: Well the other night he said that I should probably call him something other than Mr. Medina when we're outside of school. Which makes sense, so I'm getting used to saying 'Max'. LORELAI: W- you don't see him that much outside school. RORY: No, but I probably will since you guys are obsessed with each other. LORELAI: Yeah, well I wouldn't say 'obsessed'. RORY: No. It's ok, I mean of all the guys to have hanging around, he seems like a good choice. I like him. LORELAI: Good, well that's good. RORY: So what do you think about the skating? LORELAI: What? RORY: Mr. Medina - I'm sorry, Max? Do you think he'd wanna go? LORELAI: I don't thin he skates. (to Luke) Thanks. RORY: Well maybe we could all do something else together. LORELAI: Yeah, good. Something else is good. I love something else. (Cut to Gilmore house) (Kettle whistles.) SOOKIE: Ok, tea is ready. How are the feet? LORELAI: I don't know. They stopped talking to me. SOOKIE: What on earth were you thinking? LORELAI: That I could still skate. SOOKIE: It's not like riding a bike you know. LORELAI: Now you tell me. SOOKIE: So, (sitting at table) what are you up to tonight. LORELAI: Well, I'm going to do a little line dancing, then run a 10K, then just jump up and down really hard for about an hour. SOOKIE: No Max? LORELAI: No. SOOKIE: Taking a night off? LORELAI: I don't seem him every night Sookie. SOOKIE: He seems like a great guy. LORELAI: He is. SOOKIE: That didn't sound very convincing. LORELAI: No, he is. He is a great guy - for someone. SOOKIE: For someone? LORELAI: Yes. SOOKIE: Someone else? LORELAI: Yes. SOOKIE: Someone else who is not you although you're the person spending every waking hour with him. LORELAI: Right. SOOKIE: Aha. How long have you been dating? LORELAI: Why? SOOKIE: Two months you've been seeing him right? LORELAI: Point Sookie? SOOKIE: Mmm. Just right on schedule that's all. LORELAI: I have no idea what you're talking about. SOOKIE: This is about the time you start doing you little getaway dance. Two months right on the nose - you're good. LORELAI: I do not do a dance. SOOKIE: You're cha-cha-cha-ing right now. LORELAI: I'm not cha-cha-cha-ing. I'm being practical. Rory is starting to get attached to Max and that's not good. SOOKIE: Oh Rory's getting attached to Max? LORELAI: Yes and since I've decided that Max is probably not the guy for me, I think it's better that we break it off before she gets hurt. SOOKIE: Practical LORELAI: Yes. SOOKIE: Uh, can I say something here? LORELAI: Of course you can. SOOKIE: Cha-cha-cha. LORELAI: Stop that. SOOKIE: (singing) Livin' la vida loca. LORELAI: Sookie. SOOKIE: Shake your bon-bon, shake your bon-bon. LORELAI: Hey, you will not stand there singing Ricky Martin songs to me. This is not a pattern ok? I'm not doing what I always do. This is not the same. SOOKIE: Actually you're right. Usually you don't get so upset and defensive during the cha-cha talk. LORELAI: (painfully) Ah! (as Sookie pours hot water into foot basin) SOOKIE: You must really like this guy. LORELAI: When did you become the relationship expert? You haven't been in a relationship in years. (Sookie looks sad as Lorelai realizes what she said). Wow! Zero to jackass in 3.2 seconds. SOOKIE: That's alright, your feet hurt. LORELAI: No it isn't. It's never ever ok for me to talk to you like that. I'm so so sorry. Please honey. SOOKIE: (sighs) I understand - really. You know it's not like I don't want a relationship. LORELAI: I know. I didn't mean anything by it. SOOKIE: (sighs) It's just - it's hard with my hours. I'm always at the inn, or at the market or at the hospital. LORELAI: Please - forgive me. Do you wanna...sing some more Ricky Martin to me? SOOKIE: No. LORELAI: You can you know - I deserver it. SOOKIE: (quietly) 'She's into superstition, black cats and voodoo dolls. (louder) I've got a premonition, that girl's gonna make me fall.' (imitates guitar tunes) (Cut to Chilton) TRISTIN: You know I heard that Paris' dad's actually got a second family in Paris. GUY: Whoa. TRISTIN: Yeah. (Rory rolls her eyes as she walks by.) MAX: Uh, Rory? RORY: Hey Mr. Medina. MAX: I enjoyed your paper on Dickenson. RORY: I had fun writing it. MAX: It showed. RORY: Thanks. MAX: You're welcome (Rory turns to go) Um, Rory? (Rory turns back) RORY: Yeah? MAX: No, that's it. That's all I wanted to say. RORY: My name? MAX: Yes. RORY: Ok. MAX: Actually I just wanted to see if Lore- (looks around) if your mom is coming to parent's day. RORY: Oh well... MAX: Cause I'm just trying to get an accurate number of parents who are coming - you know for the cookie count. (Rory smiles at him) MAX: Forget it. (sighing) RORY: She's coming. MAX: (relieved) I hadn't heard from her for a while about it and - RORY: She'll be here. MAX: Ok, good. Good. RORY: But you should put us down for four. MAX: Four what? RORY: Four cookies. MAX: Ok, good. I will. RORY: Bye. (Max sighs) (Cut to Gilmore house) (Lorelai is cleaning out the fridge.) LORELAI: Four slices pepperoni pizza. RORY: From? LORELAI: Tuesday? RORY: Last Tuesday? LORELAI: The Tuesday in the not so distant past. RORY: Toss it. (sits at table) So you remember Paris Geller. LORELAI: Your very best friend in the whole world? RORY: Her parents are getting a major divorce. LORELAI: Really. RORY: Her dad's like this big wig at a huge pharmaceutical company and they're printing all the sordid details about it in the paper. LORELAI: Ooh how sordid? RORY: Well, it's not the Rich James incident, but Hugh Grant should be feeling pretty good about himself. LORELAI: If she was anyone else in the entire universe I might feel bad for her. RORY: Actually I kind of do feel bad for her. LORELAI: That's because you are the nicest kid ever to walk the earth. RORY: The whole school's talking about it. And the weird thing is that the whole dynamics there has changed for me. LORELAI: Really? How so? (gets up to go towards fridge) RORY: Well, Madeline and Louise, Paris' best friends, they said hello to me the other day. (Both munching on cold fries) LORELAI: Really? Like a normal hello? Not like a 'Here's Johnny' kind of hello? RORY: Normal, friendly, no acts. LORELAI: Wow, you're the new 'Heather' RORY: I guess. (Lorelai pulls out another pizza box) LORELAI: Oh, hey, this is the pizza from mystery Tuesday. That one's completely fine (pointing to the one in the garbage bin.) RORY: Don't. LORELAI: It's in the box! RORY: Oscar! LORELAI: Felix! RORY: Forget it! LORELAI: Fine. (Rory goes back to table.) RORY: So how's 'Swann's Way' coming. LORELAI: Oh finished. RORY: You're kidding! It took me forever to read that. I had to renew it 10 times. LORELAI: The first sentence - I finished the first sentence. RORY: Aha. LORELAI: Yeah - it's just - I'm so swamped right now you know, it's the totally wrong time to start reading the longest book known to man. Hey maybe you could give it back to Max for me? RORY: Just bring it with you tomorrow. LORELAI: Tomorrow? RORY: Parent's day? LORELAI: I know (she didn't) I'm just - I'm not sure I'm going to be able to make it. RORY: What do you mean? LORELAI: Well I have that thing at the inn and I thought I could get away and now I can't. RORY: What thing? LORELAI: The thing - the inn thing? RORY: What inn thing? LORELAI: You know. RORY: No I don't. LORELAI: The thing at the inn with the flags and the little men and the peanuts - the thing. RORY: Little men? LORELAI: Forget it, it's not important - I just don't think I can go. RORY: Ok, fine. LORELAI: So, if you could give this book back to Max tomorrow - that would be great. RORY: Why don't you just give it back to him the next time you see him. LORELAI: Because I'm not sure when that would be and he should have his book. (getting a bit upset) RORY: You see him all the time. LORELAI: Rory, could you just (drops book on table) give it back to him ok? RORY: Are you breaking up with him? LORELAI: What are you talking about? RORY: Well he hasn't heard from you and now you're asking me to give him the book back. LORELAI: How do you know he hasn't heard from me? RORY: He wanted to know if you were going to Parent's day and then he mentioned that you guys hadn't talked lately. LORELAI: He shouldn't be asking you about me. RORY: Why are you breaking up with him? LORELAI: Because it's not working out. RORY: But you seemed so happy. LORELAI: It's not right - that's all. RORY: So that's why you're not going tomorrow? LORELAI: No, I'm not going tomorrow because of the thing at the inn. RORY: That's crap and you know it (upset) LORELAI: Hey - RORY: There is no thing at the inn, you're avoiding Mr. Medina and you're trying to lie to me and you promised you would go and - hey, do whatever you want. I don't care, just leave me out of it. And give him the book back yourself. (Rory goes to her room and slams the door.) LORELAI: Fine I will. (takes the pizza out of garbage.) (Cut to Chilton) LORELAI: Hey, not so fast. RORY: The bell's gonna ring. LORELAI: Before you go one more step - tell me you like me? RORY: You bug me. LORELAI: I'll take that as a yes. And I want you to know that I will deal with my issues with Max myself. RORY: Fine. LORELAI: Really. RORY: I believe you. LORELAI: So where are we going? RORY: To my locker to drop off some of this stuff. LORELAI: Great, let's do it. (see Paris and her mother by Paris' locker arguing) PARIS: You can't just leave now. MOM: Paris please. PARIS: At least come to my lit class. MOM: This place is giving me a headache. PARIS: Mom. MOM: Is your face breaking out? PARIS: No. MOM: You have not being using that cleanser have you? Now Dr. Yanalari prescribed that cleanser for a reason - to cleanse. PARIS: Just lit class. MOM: Paris with everything I have going on right now the last thing I need to do is face a bunch of bored people who are gossiping about me. I'll see you later at home. Use that cover stick I got you. (Paris sighs) LORELAI: I bet I'm looking pretty good to you right now. RORY: Yes you are. LORELAI: Hmm. So what's first? Wait don't tell me. RORY: English lit with Mr. Max Medina. LORELAI: Ok see I told you not to tell me. RORY: Sorry LORELAI: Mr. Medina's class huh? RORY: The fancy book owner himself. LORELAI: How does first annual mother/daughter ditch day sound? RORY: Not happening. LORELAI: Yeah yeah, ok - let's go. (Cut to Mr. Medina's class) MAX: On Monday we will start a two week of creative writing exercise, but that doesn't mean we stop reading. One of the greatest inspirations of working writers is the writing of other that they admire. Walt Whitman read Homer, Dante, Shakespeare. And the novelist Edna O'Brien has been quoted as saying 'that every writer should read some Proust every day' Now, at this point, normally I would impress the partens by pulling out a copy of Proust's 'Swann's Way' and reading a particularly difficult passage but alas, you're all saved. I have misplaced my copy. (bell rings) Oh that does is - parent's thanks for coming, students - papers on Whitman are due tomorrow and those of you who are just starting tonight - I'll be able to tell. LORELAI: So you go on ahead ok? I'm going to talk to Max for a second. RORY: Please be nice. LORELAI: I will, I will. LORELAI: (to Max) Hi. MAX: Hi - it's nice to see you. LORELAI: Yeah. I've been really busy. MAX: Oh sure - I assumed. LORELAI: I wanted to give this back to you. MAX: Keep it. LORELAI: I really liked it. I like the first 20 pages anyway, then I got busy and I can see you really need it so - (tries to give him the book) MAX: What's going on Lorelai? LORELAI: Nothing. I just don't think a book whose first sentence is 20 pages long is for me. MAX: Well I left four messages LORELAI: I know - I've been meaning to call. MAX: What's been keeping you? LORELAI: I don't know - things. MAX: Uh huh. LORELAI: Sorry. MAX: Sorry? LORELAI: That I didn't call. MAX: Ok. LORELAI: So - here. (tries to give him book again) MAX: Why do you keep on trying to give me the book? LORELAI: Because it's yours. MAX: Is there something going on here that I don't know about? LORELAI: Yeah, uh I hate Proust. MAX: Lorelai? LORELAI: Look, um Rory's out there waiting for me so... (tries to give him book again) MAX: Wa-wait a minute...Oh my God! I cannot believe what an idiot I am. LORELAI: What? MAX: You're breaking up with me aren't you? LORELAI: I don't know. MAX: Not only are you breaking up with me, you're doing it really badly. LORELAI: Am I being graded? MAX: No, I'm a little disappointed. I would've expected a better dumping from you. LORELAI: Nobody's dumping anyone. MAX: Really? Then what is this? LORELAI: I just need space. MAX: Well I don't. In fact I want as little space as possible. 100 clowns crammed into a Volkswagen. That's the kind of non-space I'm talking about. LORELAI: It's not working. MAX: It was working pretty good the other night. LORELAI: Look it is what I've been trying to tell you all along. This is a family. Rory and I, you walked into a family, but you weren't listening and now she's getting attached and I'm afraid she's gonna get hurt. MAX: So you solution to all of this is not to return my calls LORELAI: It just took me a while to figure things out and it all came clear when I realized how much we could hurt Rory. MAX: Don't you mean how much we could hurt Lorelai? LORELAI: Hey - I can take care of myself. MAX: I don't understand this. I thought we went through this. W-we decided she could handle it. LORELAI: Well maybe she can and maybe she can't. I'm not ready to find out. MAX: I'm not going to let you off that easily. LORELAI: Well there's nothing you can do about it. MAX: There has to be. LORELAI: There isn't. MAX: There is. LORELAI: Well no there isn't. MAX: Yes there is. LORELAI: What are we in high school? Well I know we are in a high school. MAX: This is so not you. LORELAI: Well, you don't know everything about me. MAX: I guess not, because I would've thought that blaming this all on Rory and giving me these lame apologies was weak, pathetic and beneath you. LORELAI: Just take you damn book MAX: You've missed me. LORELAI: Stop it. MAX: I know you did, you're missing me right now aren't you? (Lorelai sighs) MAX: Answer me. LORELAI: Look class is over - MAX: Well we're back in session. LORELAI: Well I didn't raise my hand so don't call on me! I came here to give you this book back, please take it. MAX: I swear to God if you try to give me that book one more time... (They kiss passionately. Outside the class Paris walks by and sees them kiss) (Cut to cafeteria) (Gets noisier and noisier as Paris walks from table to table talking to people. Tristin walks by Rory and makes a 'kiss' sound to her. Paris walks up to Rory.) RORY: What's going on? PARIS: Oh, everyone's just talking about the mom that Mr. Medina was seen kissing just now. RORY: What? PARIS: And the weird thing is - she looks a lot like your mom. RORY: What are you talking about? PARIS: Your mom - Mr. Medina, mouths open. I saw them. How's the coleslaw? Good? (walks away) (Lorelai walks into cafeteria) LORELAI: Hey, did you save me some jello? (Rory gets up and leaves) LORELAI: What? (follows Rory out) Rory?! Hey where are you gong? RORY: Were you kissing him? LORELAI: What? RORY: Mr. Medina, just now, were you kissing him? LORELAI: Yes. RORY: What the hell is wrong with you? LORELAI: I don't know. RORY: You said you were breaking up with him. LORELAI: I was. RORY: I know I told you to be nice to him but this was a little extreme don't you think? LORELAI: It wasn't supposed to happen. RORY: Paris saw you! It's all over the school! LORELAI: Oh God - oh Rory, I'm so sorry. I really am. See this is exactly why I didn't want to date him. RORY: You didn't want to date him so you wouldn't come to my school and kiss him and humiliate me? LORELAI: Yes that's exactly it. RORY: Why would you do this? LORELAI: Because I'm human, because I screwed up. I'm sorry. RORY: If you like him so much then why are you breaking up with him? LORELAI: Look, I broke the rules when I brought him into our lives and I realize now that that was a very bad idea. RORY: But why? LORELAI: Why?! Because we are standing in this stairwell yelling at each other that's why! Because it's affecting you, it's seeping into your life and that is the whole reason I made these rules in the first place. Is-is to protect you! RORY: You know what, maybe it was a good idea that you hid your personal life from me when I was a kid but I'm not a kid anymore. LORELAI: No, you're right. You're a 40 year old divorcee - my mistake. RORY: Ugh! I can't believe you're blaming this on me! LORELAI: I'm not blaming you! RORY: You made up these stupid rules years ago about the way the Gilmore women would run their lives and now you're sticking to them even though they're crazy! LORELAI: Oh hey my crazy, stupid rules are the reason we're doing so good in our lives. They're the reason you grew up the way you did, the reason you're even in this school and the reason you're going to go to Harvard so don't you dismiss my rules. RORY: Fine! Great! Well, maybe it's time for the rules to change! LORELAI: Yes, well that's for me to figure out, not you! RORY: Great! Fine! Well could you figure it out before French class because I'd rather you didn't start making out with Mrs. Collins. LORELAI: Hey no promises until I see what she looks like! (Cut to front of Grandma's house) LORELAI: Look, let's just refrain from fighting in front of the grandmother ok? RORY: Fine with me. LORELAI: The last thing I need tonight is a confrontation with my mother (rings doorbell) LORELAI: Hi mom, boy the roads were a mess out there tonight. (entering) GRANDMA: Rory go upstairs please. RORY: Is everything ok? GRANDMA: I have to talk to your mother, please go upstairs. RORY: Well - GRANDMA: Now Rory. GRANDMA: (walks into living room) Lorelai come here! LORELAI: Gee mom, did I do something wrong? GRANDMA: I try to understand you, I truly do. But sometimes your behaviour baffles me beyond belief. LORELAI: And which behaviour is this? GRANDMA: Do you have no shame? LORELAI: Is that intended as a rhetorical question or - ? GRANDMA: Rory goes to school in that place, she has a reputation to protect. You're her mother. LORELAI: How did you - GRANDMA: You're supposed to shield her from shame not cause it. LORELAI: Oh mom? GRANDMA: Kissing a teacher...in a classroom...on parent's day! LORELAI: Well...they wanted us to get more involved with the school. GRANDMA: Are you insane? LORELAI: No but you are if you think I'm discussing this with you. GRANDMA: When I heard I almost fainted. LORELAI: How did you hear mom? GRANDMA: I have friends Lorelai. Headmaster Charleston's wife for one. LORELAI: Oh, that's great. GRANDMA: The entire school is talking about it. And what do I say, how do I defend this? LORELAI: It was a mistake. GRANDMA: A mistake? A mistake? Is that what you call it a mistake? LORELAI: Well I tried to call it 'Al' but it would only answer to 'mistake'. GRANDMA: A mistake is when you throw out your credit card bill - a mistake is when you forget to RSVP to a dinner party - a mistake is when the gardeners miss trash day and the barrels are full for a week. This my girl, was not a mistake! Do you even know this man? LORELAI: Ah, no, this is the first time I'd seen him and I don't know, there was just something about the way he held the chalk and - GRANDMA: This is not the time for your jokes. LORELAI: Yes I knew him. I've been dating him. GRANDMA: Why on earth would you date Rory's teacher? LORELAI: That's none of your business. GRANDMA: It most certainly is. LORELAI: How do you figure that? GRANDMA: When it affects my granddaughter it becomes my business. LORELAI: I don't want to talk about this with you! GRANDMA: I just want to know what you were thinking. What was the reasoning? How on earth did you justify it to yourself? LORELAI: Max is a great guy. An amazing guy! He's smart, he's sweet (teary) he cooks. GRANDMA: So you decided to kiss him in your daughter's school. LORELAI: No, I decided to breakup with him in my daughter's school and the kissing part just happened. GRANDMA: You always let your emotions get in the way. That's the problem with you Lorelai - you don't think. LORELAI: Mom - please. GRANDMA: He's just a man Lorelai. LORELAI: No he's not. GRANDMA: Oh so what are you telling me. That this was all worth it because he was the love of you life, that this was the man for you. LORELAI: I don't know. He might have been. Excuse me (leaves room) (Cut to Chilton cafeteria) (Rory sitting at a table. Paris, Louise and Madeline walk up behind her.) LOUISE: See, I told you he wouldn't date a teacher. PARIS: I wish my mom would sleep with my teacher, it would make midterms a lot easier. (Rory slams her book closed, stands up and turns to face them) RORY: Madeline, Louise, would you excuse us for a minute? LOUISE: Ooh cat fight. RORY: Go. PARIS: You're not going to kiss me are you? (smiling) RORY: What's wrong with you? PARIS: Nothing I'm great. RORY: You've just spent the past two weeks with all of your family's private problems printed in the newspaper for everyone to read and talk about. I saw how you walked around here! I saw how much you hated it. And then you turn around and pull something like this? Doesn't that seem crazy to you? Do you have any idea how many people you've hurt? Forget me and my mom, what about Mr. Medina? He likes you, he encourages you. He hold up your papers and tells the class how great you are. And then you turn around and spread stories about him. (pause). Whatever, forget it. You have no idea what I'm talking about. (grabs her stuff and starts to leave) PARIS: I do like Mr. Medina. RORY: Well I'd take some dance lessons cause the way you express yourself needs a little work. PARIS: I...probably shouldn't have told people what I saw. RORY: No you shouldn't have. PARIS: I'm sorry...things have been...well...not good lately. RORY: I know. PARIS: I just didn't want them talking about me anymore, that's all. RORY: Well, it worked. PARIS: Yeah. RORY: You know, i-if you want to talk - PARIS: Hey, we are not friends. RORY: Oh that I know. But if you ever do...want to talk about - PARIS: I will, if I want to. RORY: Ok. PARIS: But I probably won't. RORY: That's fine. PARIS: But if I do - RORY: I'm around. PARIS: Ok. I'm going now. RORY: Bye. PARIS: Bye. (Paris starts to leave and turns around) PARIS: I doubt I will. RORY: I'm not holding my breath. (sighs and leaves) (Cut to Independence Inn kitchen) (Jackson drops a box of squash blossoms on the counter) JACKSON: There - squash blossoms. All large enough for you to stuff and fry up and serve to the desensitize masses who just want what they know. Hurrah! Mediocrity wins again! SOOKIE: Jackson? JACKSON: You know what, I'm not even gonna charge you for these. I am not going to profit off the death of creativity. I would rather starve myself than know that my food was paid for by the lowered expectations of the American public. (starts to leave) SOOKIE: Jackson? JACKSON: What?! SOOKIE: Would you like to go to dinner sometimes...with me? JACKSON: Ok. SOOKIE: Ok. (Jackson leaves, Sookie's smiling.) (Cut to coffee shop in Hartford) (Max sitting at the counter) MAX: Thanks (to waiter) (Lorelai walks in) LORELAI: Hey Mister, wanna buy a really nice copy of Proust? MAX: How ya doing? LORELAI: Hmm. Well you know. You? MAX: Well you know it also. (Lorelai sits) LORELAI: So that parent's day is fun. MAX: Oh, it was a big h*t this year (both laugh a little) LORELAI: Look, the other day, we were going skating, and Rory said "Why don't we invite Max to come along with us" and that was a little weird for me. MAX: Me too. I don't skate. LORELAI: She's never really referred to anyone I've dated by their first name before. I always kept her out of that part of my life, so it was like "the mustache guy", "the earring guy", "the peg leg guy". MAX: Oh so you have a thing for pirates. LORELAI: She never called anyone by their name before. She likes you. She likes us. So my mind instantly went to "Oh my God, what if we break up, she'll be crushed" and then my next thought was "Oh my God, what if we break up, I'll be crushed". And then as you know all hell broke loose. MAX: I understand. LORELAI: I freaked out. I'm so sorry. I never meant to treat you like that, I'm not very good at this, ask Skippy. MAX: Skippy? LORELAI: (shaking her head) I'm so so sorry. MAX: I was called into headmaster Charleston's office today. LORELAI: Let me guess. He put his arm around you and said "I don't understand why you crazy kids can't work this out?" MAX: He said that I was jeopardizing my career and future at Chilton. LORELAI: Oh! MAX: At first I was incensed, outraged and "How dare he?!". And then I realized that he was right. What happened the other day was completely unprofessional. I never in my life would've considered pulling off something like this. He should've fired me. LORELAI: But he didn't. MAX: Not yet, but the word 'probation' was tossed around quite a bit though. LORELAI: I'm sorry. MAX: I'm the one that started the kiss. LORELAI: And I'm the one that knocked it up to NC-17. MAX: I honestly did not think that this was going to be so complicated. LORELAI: I know. MAX: I mean you told it would be. I didn't listen, I didn't want to. LORELAI: It's not your fault. If I hadn't acted like a two year old and tried to run away and pretend that you weren't what you are to me, then we wouldn't have fought, we wouldn't have kissed, I wouldn't have humiliated my daughter and the whole thing would've been fine. MAX: (sighs) I do not know what to do here. I-I've never been in a relationship like this before. I'm not thinking straight. LORELAI: I know, me either. MAX: That was a great kiss. LORELAI: Beyond great. MAX: Maybe we need to take a little time away from each other. LORELAI: Ok. (upset) MAX: You know, just to figure out how to do this so it's not so hard. LORELAI: Sure...that makes sense. MAX: I just - I don't have any other answers right now. LORELAI: No you're right. You're absolutely right. (pause) I really really like you Max Medina MAX: I really really like you Lorelai Gilmore. LORELAI: Well, as long as we got that straightened out. MAX: Goodbye Lorelai (gets up and leaves) LORELAI: (whispers) Bye. (Cut to Gilmore house) (Rory comes home) RORY: Mom! Mom, I'm home! (Goes upstairs) RORY: Mom? (Finds Lorelai laying on her bed crying. Rory strokes her hair in comfort and lays down with her and hugs her.) The End	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x11 - Paris Is Burning"}	foreverdreaming
1.12 - Double Date written by Amy Sherman-Palladino directed by Lev L. Spiro transcript by Vanessa CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE [alarm rings] RORY: Mom! [Lorelai comes into the kitchen, takes the coffee pot off the maker while Rory puts her coffee cup in it's place to catch the coffee that's still in the process of being made. Rory puts two pop tarts in the toaster, takes her coffee cup from the coffee maker while Lorelai replaces it with the pot. Lorelai puts the pop tarts on a paper towel while Rory picks up her school bag. Lorelai hands Rory a pop tart and with coffee and pop tart in hand, tries to tie her shirt. Rory hands her her coffee, puts the tart in her mouth and ties it for Lorelai. Lorelai takes the clip out of Rory's hair, gives her a 'what were you thinking' look and tosses it aside. Rory takes her coffee back and they both leave.] CUT TO GILMORE LIVING ROOM [Rory and Lane are sitting on the couch] RORY: Wow, you went new-cd crazy! [dumping a bag full of cd's on the coffee table] LANE: They just had an amazing selection today. RORY: The best of Blondie...Kraftwerk...Young Marble Giants...Yoko Ono - really? LANE: A very misunderstood artist and the Beattles would've broken up anyways. RORY: Have you shared this theory with anyone? LANE: I know it, Yoko knows it, Sean knows it. Julian's still in denial but what can you do? RORY: Ok, I must listen to anyone named Claudine Longet [puts cd in player] LANE: Rory... RORY: Yes Lane? LANE: I have a favor to ask you. RORY: Uh huh? LANE: Well you know Dean? RORY: My boyfriend? LANE: Yes. RORY: Yes I do. LANE: Ok...well remember I was telling you about his friend Todd? RORY: Todd. Yes. LANE: Have you met him? RORY: No. LANE: Well he's cool. RORY: Good. LANE: Really cool. RORY: Good again. LANE: Really, really cool. RORY: Good still holds. LANE: So cool in fact that it brings me to the next question [Lorelai comes into living room] LORELAI: Hey. I'm studying in there... RORY: I know. LORELAI: Yeah. I have like 6,000 pages of case studies to memorize and this whole big test on the Wal-Mart phenomena coming up on Friday and because I have a life and a job and business school's not the only thing I have to concentrate on I'm behind, and I'll probably fail and then that little 18 year old annoying knat who sits behind me will get another A' and make that I'm smart you're dumb' fact to me for the rest of the week and I'll be very upset and will possibly cry. RORY: The music's too loud. LORELAI: Yes. RORY: Got it. LORELAI: Thank you [Lorelai turns and goes back into the kitchen as Rory turns down the volume.] LANE: So anyhow, I was wondering if you could talk to Dean about maybe talking to Todd about me. RORY: I guess. LANE: And then maybe you could ask Dean to ask him out - for me. RORY: Good, cause I don't think Dean would want to go out with Todd. Might screw up their friendship. LANE: And then I was thinking that this date could maybe happen this weekend. RORY: Huh. LANE: Sunday preferably. RORY: Well - LANE: After church. RORY: Lane - LANE: But don't mention church. RORY: Ok, hold on a sec - LANE: Unless he's into church. [Lorelai comes into the living room again] LORELAI: Hey, uh, now it's too quiet. RORY: I'll turn it up. LORELAI: Thank you [starts to leave] RORY: Ok. LANE: So what do you think? LORELAI: [turning back] Who the hell is that anyways? RORY: Claudine Longet. LORELAI: The chick who sht the skier? RORY: Uh, sure, why not. LORELAI: Wow - renaissance woman [turns and leaves] RORY: [to Lane] You want me to set you up with Todd? LANE: Yes and I was thinking that you and Dean could come out with us so that it's not that big of a deal. RORY: Oh. LANE: You don't want to do it? RORY: No I - LANE: That's ok, I understand - no big deal. Hey Grand Daddy new album used - I love a bargain. RORY: I just really don't know this Todd guy. LANE: I do. RORY: You've met him twice LANE: But the 3rd time's a charm RORY: How do you know this guy's right for you? LANE: I know, I'm telling you. We're talking soul mate here. RORY: The last time you met you soul mate, you ran your fingers through his hair and ended up hiding at my house for the evening. LANE: Well I still have my key. RORY: Lane? LANE: Look, I made a mistake with Rich Bloomenfeld. Everybody's allowed one mistake. But Todd, Todd is different. RORY: He is? LANE: First of all his name is Todd - Different name different guy [Lorelai come back into living room] LORELAI: Ok so, [turning off music] how important is this whole business school thing anyway? I mean, so what if I never run my own inn? I like my job, I like my house, I like my life. And I certainly don't want to be one of those people who's never satisfied with what they have you know? I mean some people don't have legs or arms. I have legs and arms. What more could I possibly want than legs and arms? I mean, I could take all the classes in the world, that's still not going to give me what I already have. RORY: Legs and arms. LORELAI: Yes. [pause] Am I sounding completely crazy? RORY: Yes you are. LORELAI: Wal-Mart is boring! RORY: Study! LORELAI: Aah! [leaves] LANE: So? RORY: So? LANE: Rory? RORY: Ok. LANE: Really? RORY: Yes, Yoko [they hug] LORELAI: So [she comes and sits between the two and taps their legs] Whatcha doing? CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN [Lorelai is sitting at front desk studying. Michel comes up to her and stares at her] LORELAI: Yes Michel? MICHEL: I apologize for any inconvenience I might be causing your future employment but your current one is experiencing a problem. LORELAI: And once again I say 'Yes Michel?' MICHEL: Are you sure you wouldn't like me to wait? LORELAI: No Michel. MICHEL: Because learning the eating patterns of the average Taco Bell consumer is a vital lesson that - LORELAI: Michel. What do you want? MICHEL: We are overbooked. LORELAI: How are we overbooked? MICHEL: Well there are more people here than there are rooms to put them in. LORELAI: I don't understand this. MICHEL: Well I cannot describe it any simpler than I already have. LORELAI: Well where did the Rucker's come from? MICHEL: Well judging from their clothing a town where high rubber fishing boots and spittoons would be considered formal wear. LORELAI: Ok, put them in the Jefferson suite tonight, move them back to their previously booked room tomorrow and offer them dinner on the house for the inconvenience. MICHEL: Very well. LORELAI: I'm gonna get some more coffee if you need me. MICHEL: I'll try and manage while you're gone, though God knows it won't be easy. LORELAI: (entering kitchen) Coffee? SOOKIE: Yes. LORELAI: Great. SOOKIE: Necesito las hojas grandes. LORELAI: Oh! Meringue. SOOKIE: Yeah, I thought I'd do a variation on a baked Alaska for dessert tonight. LORELAI: What kind of variation? SOOKIE: See I hadn't thought of that yet. LORELAI: Maybe you could do them in the actual shape of Alaska. SOOKIE: Interesting. LORELAI: Or you could do little baked Alaskas and Hawaiis SOOKIE: Because they joined the union last. LORELAI: Exactly. [Sookie giggles] JACKSON: Oh [coming in the door] SOOKIE: Jackson. JACKSON: Sookie - hello. SOOKIE: Hello. LORELAI: Hey. JACKSON: I brought you um - SOOKIE: [stuttering] Yeah, well great. Just put them down there. [Lorelai watching the exchange] JACKSON: Right. Oh, yes [puts carrots on the counter] How's that? SOOKIE: That's great, that's just perfect. I really like them there. JACKSON: Yeah they - they do look good there don't they? SOOKIE: Yes they do. JACKSON: Ok. Well I should - [turns to leave] SOOKIE: Uh, squash. JACKSON: What? SOOKIE: I need some. JACKSON: Squash. SOOKIE: Pattypan JACKSON: Ok, tomorrow? SOOKIE: Same time? JACKSON: If that's good for you? SOOKIE: It is, it's perfect. JACKSON: Ok then, I-I'll see you tomorrow with the pattypan. SOOKIE: Great. JACKSON: Yes. [leaves] [Sookie rolls her eyes] LORELAI: Ok so...who walked in on who naked? SOOKIE: Oh God this is horrible! He comes in and - horrible. LORELAI: What's going on between you two? SOOKIE: I asked him if he'd like to have dinner sometime. LORELAI: I know - weeks ago. SOOKIE: And he said yes. LORELAI: Which is good. SOOKIE: But since there's not definite plan or date attached, now the invitation is just out there floating in the universe. LORELAI: So make a definite plan. SOOKIE: I can't. LORELAI: Why? SOOKIE: Because what if he says no? LORELAI: He already said yes. SOOKIE: Yes to the amorphous, theoretical, 'Let's maybe sometime go out and do something not too specific' proposition. But dinner and a movie - it's concrete. It's real, he might say no. LORELAI: I doubt he will. SOOKIE: Well why hasn't he asked me? LORELAI: I don't know, maybe he thinks you've changed your mind since you asked. SOOKIE: Well why would he think that? LORELAI: Because you haven't mentioned it again. SOOKIE: But I mentioned it once, it's his turn. LORELAI: Alright, let's say it is his turn, you can spend a lot of time sitting around waiting for him to realize it's his turn, or you can just run with the wolves and make it your turn again. SOOKIE: I don't want it to be my turn again. LORELAI: You just wanna let this opportunity pass? SOOKIE: I wanna be the girl. LORELAI: You are the girl. That's why we're having this very confusing conversation. SOOKIE: You think I should ask him out? LORELAI: On Sunday. SOOKIE: Why Sunday? LORELAI: Because that's your day off. SOOKIE: Ok. LORELAI: Now. SOOKIE: What? LORELAI: I think you should do it now before you lose your nerve. SOOKIE: Well he's not back to his office yet. LORELAI: Does he have a cell phone? SOOKIE: Yes. LORELAI: You know people buy cell phones for exactly this reason - so you could get a hold of them anytime you want. SOOKIE: I thought people bought cell phones in case their cars broke down at night and they needed to call someone for help and there's psycho Kllers - LORELAI: Call him. SOOKIE: Call him? LORELAI: Call him Sookie. SOOKIE: Call him [giggles] [They go over to the phone] LORELAI: Mmm, she knows his number by heart. SOOKIE: He is my produce guy. LORELAI: Very convenient excuse. SOOKIE: He - [into the phone] Oh Jackson? It's Sookie. [picks up a wooden spoon and plays with it in her hair] I was wondering if you could call me back when you get a chance, sooner rather than later, it's not an emergency so don't freak out or anything. The carrots still look good. It seems like it's almost a shame to eat them, sort of like you should put them in a vase or - LORELAI: [whispers] Sookie, hang up. Hang up. SOOKIE: Call me, bye. [giggles] Got his voice mail. LORELAI: Ok good. It give you time to prepare what you're going to say. Maybe have a few suggestions ready of places to go. SOOKIE: Date prep time. LORELAI: Yes. SOOKIE: Ok good. I'm good at that. I'm good at prep. [picks up a pad of paper] LORELAI: Sookie...spoon. [takes spoon away.] SOOKIE: Right. CUT TO OUTSIDE STARS HOLLOW HIGH [Rory sitting on a bench reading. Dean come out, sees her and goes and sits with her] DEAN: Is there anything in there about me? RORY: I don't know. You name wouldn't be Lithium would it? DEAN: Aren't you supposed to be in school? RORY: We had a half day today - teacher conferences. So I thought I'd come by and surprise you. DEAN: Well you know how much I hate surprises. RORY: Yes, I'm very sorry. [Dean kisses her] DEAN: That's for surprising me. RORY: I have learned my lesson. [Dean kisses her again. Rory stops him after a second] RORY: I have to talk to you about something. DEAN: Ok, I have to talk to you about something too. Come here [ kisses her again] RORY: Ok stop. DEAN: Sorry. [leans in to kiss her again] RORY: No stay! DEAN: Why? RORY: Because I really need to talk to you about something. DEAN: [sighs] Alright. RORY: It's about Todd. DEAN: What about him? RORY: What do you think of him? DEAN: He's my friend. RORY: I know. DEAN: So that would signify a positive impression. RORY: Right. Ok. Good. DEAN: Yes, can I kiss you now? RORY: I'm not done yet. DEAN: Fine. Go ahead. RORY: Well you know Lane. DEAN: Yeah, I do. RORY: She likes Todd. DEAN: Ok. RORY: And I think that they would really ht it off. DEAN: You - you don't even know Todd. RORY: No but you do. And you like him - you said so. DEAN: I did. RORY: Ok then. There you go. DEAN: I would - I would really like to kiss you now. RORY: Yeah so would I. DEAN: Ok, good. We agree [leans in for a kiss while she leans back] RORY: I think we should set them up. DEAN: Todd and Lane? RORY: Yeah. We could all go out together - like to a movie or something on Sunday. DEAN: Rory - RORY: It would be really casual - no big deal. DEAN: I just - RORY: What? DEAN: I mean, I'm just not sure that I see them together. RORY: You don't think Todd would like Lane? DEAN: I'm not sure. RORY: Lane is great. DEAN: Yeah, I know. RORY: She's my best friend. DEAN: Yeah, I-I know that. RORY: Todd should be so lucky to get a girl like her. DEAN: I didn't mean - RORY: I mean I can't believe that you don't think that she's good enough - DEAN: [over Rory] No, no, no - RORY: or I don't know pretty enough. DEAN: I didn't say anything about her not being pretty enough - RORY: Well you did - DEAN: Let me finish. I just don't know if he'll like her because I don't know what kind of girl he likes. RORY: Well - DEAN: But if you want to do this, then I'll talk to him. RORY: You will? DEAN: Yeah. RORY: And you'll mention Sunday? DEAN: I will mention Sunday. RORY: Thank you. DEAN: You're welcome. So...was that it? RORY: Yeah that was it. DEAN: Then can we... RORY: Kissing. Right, let's go. [they kiss] CUT TO INN [Lorelai still studying] LORELAI: [slamming book] I give up. MICHEL: That's the spirit. LORELAI: I can't remember any of this crap. MICHEL: Well, not everyone is cut out to be their own boss. Maybe you are more of a worker bee, a follower, a ticket ripper, or the man at the concert with the orange glow stick directing you were to park. LORELAI: You're baiting me aren't you? MICHEL: No, I seriously have no faith in your aptitude. SOOKIE: [rushing up to desk] He called! He called! LORELAI: And? SOOKIE: Well, I did what you said. I had it all worked out and I asked him if he'd like to go to dinner at Chez Fleur on Sunday. LORELAI: Chez Fleur very nice. SOOKIE: Hm, thank you. He said he would love to. LORELAI: Oh great! SOOKIE: He said he would love to but his cousin's in town and he's staying with him for the week. LORELAI: Oh, well then just make it next week. SOOKIE: Yes, see that would've been a good option had I thought of it when I was on the phone, but instead - I came up with another option. LORELAI: Which is? SOOKIE: That we double date with his cousin Rune and you. LORELAI: What? SOOKIE: Yes, ok, not as good as your option I agree. But it seemed pretty good at the time - though I wasn't standing here watching you make that face. LORELAI: Sookie no. I hate blind dates. SOOKIE: I know, but this isn't a blind date. This is you keeping his cousin company while I have a date with Jackson. LORELAI: Oh God. SOOKIE: Lorelai please. I'll be your best friend. LORELAI: You are my best friend. SOOKIE: And you're mine. LORELAI: I know I am. SOOKIE: So what are best friends for? LORELAI: Ok. SOOKIE: Yes? LORELAI: Yes, I'll go. SOOKIE: [squeals] Thank you, thank you, thank you. You will not regret this. LORELAI: Pick another phrase. SOOKIE: You will not have to pay LORELAI: Much better [sighs] Oh shut up [ to Michel who's smiling. Opens up book again] CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE LORELAI: Rory? RORY: What? LORELAI: Diva Glam. RORY: I've got it. LORELAI: Bring it up. [to Sookie] Hold still. SOOKIE: Not too much. LORELAI: No - just enough to say hey sailor' SOOKIE: My stomach doesn't feel so great. I think I've got the flu. LORELAI: I think you're nervous. [Rory comes into room] RORY: Here. LORELAI: Thank you. RORY: I need the sparkly hair clips LORELAI: Ok, I'll find them in a minute. RORY: [to Sookie] You look pretty. LORELAI: I do? RORY: Uh huh. [leaves] SOOKIE: Oh thank you. [to Lorelai] I should cancel. LORELAI: Ok, let's do you lips first. SOOKIE: What if I'm making an idiot out of myself. LORELAI: By going out on a date? SOOKIE: With my produce guy. LORELAI: You like him. SOOKIE: But what if tonight is a disaster and them he won't sell to me anymore. LORELAI: Oh my God, you're right. SOOKIE: Yes, see! LORELAI: And since all the produce in the entire world is in his possession and all the produce that will be grown in the future will be in his possession, then we will never again be able to get any produce and all our vegetarian clients will die. SOOKIE: I'm scared. LORELAI: I know. SOOKIE: I like him. LORELAI: He likes you. SOOKIE: How do you know he's not being polite? LORELAI: Sookie! SOOKIE: No I mean it. [gets up and paces] It's like I cornered him and he felt trapped and he had to say yes. LORELAI: He did not have to say yes. SOOKIE: Oh my God. Technically I am his employer. LORELAI: Sookie! SOOKIE: I am, I buy his wares. His livelihood depends on my. LORELAI: Sookie! SOOKIE: Oh! I'm a sexual harasser LORELAI: Well then you need some false eyelashes. SOOKIE: This isn't funny. I am now desperate, lonely and a criminal. LORELAI: Ok, stop talking. SOOKIE: But - LORELAI: No you have exhausted all your talking rights by being crazy. Sit down and listen. [Sookie sits] LORELAI: Tonight is a good thing. Whether you find out that you're madly in love you or you're not meant for each other, it's still a good thing. And I'll be right there. And have I done a gorgeous job on your face or what? Ooh, I'll be right back [picking up clips] CUT TO RORY'S ROOM [Rory and Lane getting ready] LANE: You're sure you don't mind? RORY: What's mine is yours. LANE: I owe you forever. RORY: Good to know. LANE: Which one do you think Todd would like better? [holding up two jackets] RORY: I don't know Todd. LANE: I think the rhinestones. RORY: Rhinestones it is. So what did you tell your mom? LANE: I told her that I was going to spend the evening here with you guys. RORY: What if she calls? LANE: Well I mentioned that we might go and rent some videos or go out to eat which could explain any absence during her call. RORY: Very thorough. LANE: With my mom, you can leave nothing to chance. Especially when there is a non-korean involved who as far as I know has no medical aspirations. LORELAI: [coming into room] Hey, sparkly clips. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: Ooh, I like the rhinestones. [leaves] RORY: And for a touch of glamour. [putting them in Lane's hair] LANE: So what are you going to tell Lorelai? RORY: I don't know. LANE: She wouldn't tell my mom would she? RORY: I don't know if she'd feel good lying to another mother. It's like this weird code thing with her. LANE: So we don't tell her? RORY: I'm not liking that option either. LANE: No. We'll tell her that we're meeting Dean for a movie, and then we go to the movie and then somebody who just happens to be a friend of Dean's, just happens to be there, for the same movie and so we figure that it would be completely rude for us to not ask said person to come sit with us. RORY: I say to hell with governor, you run directly for president. LANE: It's not that bad. RORY: Let's just not think about it, ok? LANE: I really appreciate this. RORY: I know. LANE: How do I look? RORY: You look too good for him. LANE: Just what I was going for. [giggles and they leave the room] RORY: We're going [to Lorelai] LORELAI: Oh, where? LANE: We're going to a movie with Dean. LORELAI: Nothing dirty, violent or French please RORY: Are you going to be home late? LORELAI: Well there's a bit of doubt as to whether or not we'll ever actually get out of the house at all tonight. Sookie please! SOOKIE: Ok! I'm here, I'm down [coming down the stairs] LORELAI: Wow! Hey, where's your coat? SOOKIE: It's upstairs. LORELAI: Aren't you gonna need it? SOOKIE: Oh well, it got caught around the thing, and then when I twisted around to get loose, and then the choking started. I'm free now. LORELAI: Ok. I'll get you something to wear. SOOKIE: I would appreciate that. RORY: Bye. LANE: Bye SOOKIE: Bye kittens [girls leave] LORELAI: Bye girls. LORELAI: Huh? [with a blue shawl in hand] SOOKIE: Oh this is beautiful. LORELAI: It goes with the theme of the evening. SOOKIE: This is a really nice thing you're doing for me. LORELAI: Anytime Sookie. SOOKIE: Last looks [Does a turn while Lorelai claps] [knock on the door] LORELAI: I'll get it. [Sookie exhales] LORELAI: Hi, JACKSON: Hi Lorelai, sorry we're late. LORELAI: Oh no problem. Just adds a little more primping time for the ladies. SOOKIE: Hi Jackson JACKSON: Sookie, hi SOOKIE: Hi. JACKSON: Hi. SOOKIE: Hi. JACKSON: Hi. SOOKIE: Hi. LORELAI: Ok, uh do you guys wanna come in for a minute? JACKSON: Oh sure. [they enter] Oh, uh Lorelai, this is my cousin Rune, Rune this is Lorelai. LORELAI: Hi, it's very nice to meet you [extends hand but Rune doesn't take it] RUNE: Can I talk to you a minute? JACKSON: What's the matter? RUNE: I need a minute alone, please? JACKSON: Excuse us. [Rune takes Jackson outside] JACKSON: What are you doing? RUNE: That's Lorelai? JACKSON: Yes. RUNE: Did you see how tall she is? JACKSON: No, I haven't noticed actually. RUNE: How could you not notice, she's like a basketball player. JACKSON: Rune, she's a very nice lady! RUNE: You know I cannot go out with anyone that tall. I mean God! I can't believe you set me up with that. What, was the bearded lady busy tonight or something? [Sookie and Lorelai, who are listening, exchange a look] JACKSON: It's just one night, a little dinner. RUNE: When she came to the door it never crossed my mind that that was who I had to spend the evening with. I thought it was her East German maid or something. JACKSON: You're being ridiculous, she's not that tall! RUNE: She's tall enough! JACKSON: Would you keep it down, she's gonna hear you! RUNE: With those big ears I bet she can. JACKSON: Hey Rune, you come into town completely unannounced, you eat all my food, you crash on my couch and I don't say a thing. The least you could do is go out for one night - make some conversation, be pleasant, who knows, maybe you'll enjoy it! RUNE: But why can't we go out - just to the two of us. JACKSON: Rune, please. RUNE: [sighs] Ok. JACKSON: Thank you [Both go back to the front door.] Ok, I think we should be going. SOOKIE: Yes that sounds good. [Lorelai looks at Rune, who turns away. She closes the door behind her.] CUT TO CHEZ FLEUR [All sitting in silence looking at the menu. Rune is staring at Lorelai, she forces a smile] RUNE: What size shoe do you wear? LORELAI: Uh, size 9. RUNE: 9? Wow. SOOKIE: I wonder if the mussels are fresh? LORELAI: Um, well, it does say fresh mussels' on the menu. SOOKIE: Yes, but a lot of times they say fresh' and they're not, they're frozen but they're just called fresh' because they were fresh when they were frozen. [Jackson nodding and smiling at her] Plus if they're not stored with the correct drainage they just sit around in their own excretions, with is kind of like sitting around in your own - LORELAI: Sookie, I beg of you, do not order the fresh mussels. SOOKIE: But if they're fresh - LORELAI: Even if they're fresh. JACKSON: I wonder where they get their carrots from The carrot crop this year has been really mealy. LORELAI: [sighs] So...Rune... RUNE: Yes? LORELAI: What is that - Rune' ? RUNE: What do you mean? LORELAI: I mean, where did Rune' come from? RUNE: I'm from out of town, I thought Jackson told you? LORELAI: He did tell me, I meant the name Rune'. You just don't meet a lot of Runes', right? [giggles a bit] RUNE: It was my dad's name. LORELAI: Oh, where'd he get it? RUNE: [annoyed] I don't know, from his parents I guess. LORELAI: Ok, done with that topic [waiter approaches] Oh the waiter, thanks the Lord. WAITER: What can I get you this evening? SOOKIE: I'd like to ask about the mussels, are they fresh? WAITER: Yes they are. JACKSON: And where exactly are your carrots from? WAITER: Well - RUNE: Is there anything on this menu that isn't French? LORELAI: I'll just have a martini and keep'em coming. [Waiter leaves] Thanks. [Table goes back to sitting in silence] CUT TO OUTSIDE BOOKSTORE [Rory and Dean are in line. She's looking at Lane and Todd in line behind them.] DEAN: What are you doing? RORY: Nothing. DEAN: They're fine. RORY: I am not looking at them. I'm looking at the world around me. DEAN: The world is fine too. RORY: I just want to make sure they're having fun. DEAN: They're having fun. RORY: How do you know? DEAN: They're not in prison or in some sort of medieval trture chamber. RORY: Well when you measure it that way - [Pan to Lane and Todd] LANE: And the amazing thing is, all these girls are screaming and none of them are getting the joke. He's playing the character of a rock star. I mean Beck is a genius and all these stupid girls are screaming at him just because they're buying into the rock star image. I love Beck. I understand Beck. [looks at Todd nervously who doesn't say anything] And the Foo Fighters - Gods. I mean, have you heard the acoustic version of Everlong'? I can't even talk about it you know? Hey, you know who I've really gotten into lately? The velvet underground. Oh and Nico - she's amazing - Depressing scary German chick. I have the cd if you wanna borrow it sometime. Wh-what kind of music do you like? TODD: I don't know - whatever. LANE: Fugazi? TODD: What? LANE: The band on your shirt. TODD: Oh. Huh, pretty cool picture. LANE: You don't know what's on your shirt? TODD: It's my sister's. LANE: Oh. [Rory looks over her shoulder intently. Lane gives her a forced smile. Dean turns Rory's face forward.] LANE: Well what about books? Do you like books? TODD: Mmm. [shrugging] LANE: Magazines? [Todd's silent] What about school? What are you majoring in? TODD: I was thinking about gym. LANE: Gym? TODD: If I major in gym, I only have to take 4 classes my senior year. LANE: Oh, cool [Pan to Rory and Dean] RORY: Gym? DEAN: We work on our bikes together. He's got the good tools. CUT TO CHEZ FLEUR [Rune yawning] SOOKIE: [giggling] It was so funny. Oh God! Do you remember? LORELAI: I remember. SOOKIE: What was Rory, eight? LORELAI: I believe she was. SOOKIE: Oh god, that mud pie fiasco haunted me for a year! I mean, hers looked just like mine. Of course I used you know, homemade chocolate cookies, bittersweet ganache and she used well, mud. You know, but they did look damn similar. Oh. [Rune is cutting the heads off of swans with his Knfe] LORELAI: So, uh, Sookie's been experimenting with, um, different forms of baking ever since I've known her. JACKSON: Oh, well, that's very interesting. SOOKIE: Yeah. Hey Lorelai, remember when I decided to teach you how to make strawberry tarts [Jackson looks bored] and the entire kitchen was stained red and I had to repaint that one wall red just to make it look normal? Do you remember? Wasn't it? LORELAI: Mmm, it was. Sookie, let's go powder our noses. RUNE: You'll need a lot of powder. LORELAI: We'll be right back. Come on hon. SOOKIE: Oh, ok. [They get up and leave. Jackson give Rune a what are you doing?' look] LORELAI: Honey, no matter how many beers you buy me tonight, I'm not the one going home with you, so I would concentrate on the one who might. SOOKIE: What? LORELAI: You haven't said a word to Jackson all night. SOOKIE: I haven't have I? LORELAI: No. SOOKIE: I know. I'm just - Oh, I'm so nervous. LORELAI: You're nervous? You don't have some guy staring at you like he's Cher and you're the kid from Mask'. SOOKIE: I can - I can't think of anything to say. LORELAI: To Jackson? SOOKIE: Yes, to Jackson. LORELAI: Yes, cause to me tonight there's been no off' button. SOOKIE: I-I just - ugh! This place is too fancy, my hair is too tight and this dress is all wrong. And he looks really good doesn't he? LORELAI: Yes he does. SOOKIE: I'm being crazy, I know I'm being crazy. LORELAI: No. You're just putting too much pressure on this whole evening. Look, in five seconds I can take your hair down, we can go some place more casual and personally I think you're wrong about the dress. SOOKIE: Really? LORELAI: Yes. Come on. Let's got to Luke's. You know, have burgers, talk, relax - no pressure, no stress, unless I wind up stepping on Rune which might be fun. SOOKIE: That would be great. LORELAI: Ok, come on. SOOKIE: Alright. CUT TO BOOKSTORE [Lane and Todd are in a theater-like seating watching the movie] LANE: Ok, what about movies, you must have a favorite movie. TODD: Yes I do! LANE: Great! What is it? TODD: Beethoven. LANE: Beethoven? The one with the dog? TODD: There's this scene where this little dog is running around with a huge cabbage in it's mouth. Oh man, it's classic! I sht my Dr. Pepper right outta my nose! I swear! [Lane forces another smile] CUT TO LUKE'S [The four enter] RUNE: [sniffs] Ew. LORELAI: Welcome to Luke's. JACKSON: Well this is much better. SOOKIE: It is, isn't it? LORELAI: Grab a seat, I'll get some menus LUKE: Hey. LORELAI: Hey, four menus, a coffee and an anvil please. LUKE: What's the anvil for? LORELAI: For Rune? LUKE: What's a Rune. LORELAI: Please not that question again. LUKE: Ok. [gets coffee. Lorelai sighs and looks at them sitting in silence] Here you go. LORELAI: Mind if I hang out here a sec? LUKE: Why? What's going on over there? LORELAI: Sookie and Jackson are on their first date. LUKE: Seems to be going well. LORELAI: I think I'd wear blue to the wedding. LUKE: Who's the other guy? LORELAI: That's Jackson's cousin. He's my date! LUKE: Lucky girl! LORELAI: Yes, I think so. He is, believe it or not, even less thrilled with the match up than I am. LUKE: You're kidding, why? LORELAI: I'm too tall. LUKE: [laughs] Get out. LORELAI: I'm serious. LUKE: Doesn't he understand how great that is? You can get all the stuff from the top shelf. LORELAI: Exactly. That is exactly what I bring to a relationship. Explain that to him will you. [takes a sip of coffee] Mmm. Luke, that is an exceptionally good batch of coffee. LUKE: Yeah? LORELAI: Hello! LUKE: I added a little nutmeg. LORELAI: Really? LUKE: Yes. LORELAI: That's very Richard Simmons of you. LUKE: Well what can I say. Chicks dig a man with a feminine side. LORELAI: Oh. RUNE: Ok [standing up] I'm really bored. JACKSON: Sit down, we're about ready to order. RUNE: I don't wanna order, I don't wanna eat here. I wanna go. JACKSON: Rune. RUNE: Jackson...Look I came out with you tonight under the impression that I'd have fun. First I get stuck with her, then I get dragged to a French restaurant, then I get dragged out of a French restaurant. God knows where I am now. LORELAI: Oh, you're at Luke's. RUNE: I've been very patient Jackson. Sunday night's almost over, I wanna go bowling. JACKSON: Well I - RUNE: And I'd like you to go bowling with me. JACKSON: Oh...well [looking at Sookie who's looking at her hands] I guess we should...[starts to stand] SOOKIE: Don't go! JACKSON: Really?! SOOKIE: Yes. Stay here. We haven't really even started our date yet. JACKSON: No we haven't. Sorry Rune, you're on your own tonight. RUNE: Fine, I'll just see you at home then - maybe [leaves] LORELAI: Bye Loon! [looks over at the two] Finally. LUKE: I guess you'll only need three menus now. LORELAI: Hey, why don't you make up three fabulous cheeseburgers and send two over there. I'll have mine here. LUKE: First I gotta watch a man walk out on you, then I have to watch you eat alone. Nope. Too pathetic. LORELAI: I'm not eating alone. You're here. LUKE: I'm working. LORELAI: Yeah but after three cheeseburgers you're done, unless you're expecting Elijah to stop by. LUKE: Ok. Fine. [pulls out a deck of cards] 5-card draw. LORELAI: Oh! You're on. [Luke deals as Lorelai watches intently] LORELAI: Mm-hm. Mm-hm [looks at her cards] Uh...huh. Give me four. [looks at them again] Aah, no four more. LUKE: You can't have four more, those are the four I dealt you. LORELAI: Well these don't help me and I have vowed to discard anything negative in my life - first Rune and now these four cards. LUKE: Whatever you say [giving her another 4] LORELAI: Ooh, much better, thank you. LUKE: Rune knew when to run away. LORELAI: Ha. [Sookie and Jackson are giggling] LORELAI: God that's nice. LUKE: Yep. LORELAI: The whole first date, beginning of the relationship' glow - everything is new and exciting. LUKE: Every joke is hilarious. LORELAI: Every little touch is incredible [touching Luke's arm] LUKE: Mm-hm. LORELAI: God that's a good feeling. LUKE: It is at that. LORELAI: I miss that. LUKE: You'll have it again. LORELAI: Mmm...I guess. [Mrs Kim sees Lorelai through the window] LUKE: You know, maybe sometime we could... [Door slams] MRS. KIM: Where are the girls? LORELAI: What? MRS. KIM: Lane said she's with you and Rory. LORELAI: W - slow down. MRS. KIM: I call - no answer, I think they are at the video store, I call again - no answer. I call a 3rd time - no answer! LORELAI: You had a lot of time on your hands tonight. MRS. KIM: I have to know where girls are. LORELAI: They said they were going to a movie. MRS. KIM: With who? LORELAI: They were going to meet Dean. MRS. KIM: A boy? [with disgust] You let them go with a boy? LORELAI: Mrs. Kim, Dean is Rory's boyfriend. MRS. KIM: Just because you let your daughter run around with boys doesn't mean I let mine. LORELAI: I thought you knew. MRS. KIM: I didn't know! They could be anywhere, they could be doing anything. Smoking, or drinking or buying drugs! LORELAI: They're at the movies. There's no drugs there. They don't even have the real red vines. MRS. KIM: I need to find them [leaves] LORELAI: I'm coming with [leaves too] CUT TO OUTSIDE BOOKSTORE TODD: Good flick, good flick. DEAN: Yeah not bad. RORY: Lane, what'd you think? LANE: Uh, I think it's really late and I should be getting home. TODD: Really? LANE: Yeah but it's been fun. TODD: Oh come on. Let's go get some ice cream or something - eat it really fast, get that freezy brain thing going. It's cool. LANE: So tempting and yet - MRS. KIM: LANE KIM! [shouting in Korean] LANE: My mom! RORY: My mom! TODD: Two moms, that's gotta be bad. LANE: Mama, I was just about - MRS. KIM: [shouting in Korean] RORY: Mom, I can - LORELAI: So not the time Rory. MRS. KIM: You lied to me. LANE: I'm sorry. MRS. KIM: Get home right now! [leave] TODD: Whoa, rough family. DEAN: What's going on? LORELAI: Oh bits of information were left out of the mom packets tonight. RORY: I'm sorry. LORELAI: Ok. Mother/daughter #2 are leaving now. Say bye Rory. RORY: [to Dean] Bye. DEAN: I'll, uh call you later. LORELAI: Aah. DEAN: I'll call you tomorrow. LORELAI: Yeah, bye Dean. TODD: That's Rory's mom? She's a babe man! LORELAI: [walking away] And what were you thinking? RORY: I know. LORELAI: You lied to me - me! What is that nonsense all about? RORY: I shouldn't have done it. I know I shouldn't have done it. LORELAI: Damn right you shouldn't have done it. RORY: But Lane really wanted to go out with Todd, and of course she could tell her mother so I didn't tell you so you wouldn't have to lie for us. LORELAI: You lied to me so I wouldn't have to lie to Mrs. Kim? RORY: Yeah. LORELAI: Oh my God you really are my daughter. RORY: I'm sorry. LORELAI: I have to know where you are at all times, especially when you have my shoes on. RORY: I know. LORELAI: This whole trust thing only works if it goes both ways kid. RORY: I hated doing it. LORELAI: Good. RORY: Would you have? LORELAI: What? RORY: Lied for us? LORELAI: To Mrs. Kim? RORY: Yeah. LORELAI: No. RORY: Why? LORELAI: Because that lady's scary. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: I can't lie to another mother. That's breaking the code. RORY: So then what were we supposed to do tonight? LORELAI: Look, I know that Mrs. Kim and Robert Duvall in The Great Santini' share a striking resemblance, but she is Lane's mom. She has the right to tell Lane she can't do something, you have to respect that and I really have to respect that. RORY: So we were in a no-win situation tonight. LORELAI: Yep. RORY: Great. LORELAI: Sorry. [pause] Hey, you know the one good thing we all learned from this? RORY: What? LORELAI: [smiling] That I'm a babe. CUT TO OUTSIDE LANE'S HOUSE. [Rory climbed a tree to get to Lane's bedroom window. Knocks.] LANE: Hey. RORY: What's up Rapunzel? LANE: Don't take this the wrong way, but in all my various fantasies about who might appear at this window, you never actually made the list. RORY: So how are you? I haven't heard from you in days. LANE: I'm ok, I guess. RORY: I was afraid to call. LANE: I think that's best for now. RORY: Your mom's really mad huh? LANE: The words convent' and Siberia' were both used several times and at least once as a combo. RORY: I'm really sorry Lane. LANE: It's not your fault. RORY: I shouldn't have arranged it. I should've - LANE: You arranged it because I asked you to and I'm really glad you did. RORY: You are? LANE: If you hadn't set me up with Todd, then I would still be in love with him. RORY: Not the guy for you huh? LANE: Not the guy for anybody who can read, write, talk or function on a basic human level. RORY: I'm sorry. LANE: I was so bored that night I couldn't see straight. I've been on Korean meditation weekends that have had more laughs. RORY: He liked you though, Dean told me. LANE: I know, he called here. RORY: You're kidding. LANE: I pretended to be my mother and wouldn't allow me to speak to him. Is that mean? RORY: [giggles] I think he'll survive. He and Dean went muffler shopping today. LANE: That's nice. RORY: So how long before you can get out? LANE: I don't know. Right now I have to be in the house at all times except for school and church. RORY: She didn't give you any time frame at all? LANE: Nope. RORY: I miss you. LANE: I miss you too. RORY: Is there anything I can do? LANE: Yeah, don't tell anyone I went out with Todd ok? RORY: [smiling] Promise [They hear a noise] LANE: I gotta go. RORY: Bye. CUT TO INSIDE KIM HOUSEHOLD MRS. KIM: [angrily]You break you buy! MAN: But it was sticking out in the aisle. MRS. KIM: You break you buy! [Lorelai comes in.] MAN But I didn't put it in the aisle. MRS. KIM: You have eyes yes? MAN: Yes I have eyes? MRS. KIM: These eyes work? MAN Yes these eyes work. MRS. KIM: They can make out shape, sizes and colors? MAN: Yes they can do all that, but - MRS. KIM: Eyes work! They see lamp in aisle, send message to brain. Lamp in aisle - move You move. You don't break lamp. MAN: I - MRS. KIM: You have no eyes, not my problem, that is between you and them. You break you buy [Man give in and give her some money] MRS. KIM: [all smiles and sweetly] We appreciate your business. [to Lorelai] Oh, hello LORELAI: Hi. So I was wondering if I could maybe talk to you for a minute. MRS. KIM: I'm working. LORELAI: Right, well this is gonna be so quick you'll be amazed. MRS. KIM: Fine, come. [goes into another room] LORELAI: Look, I'm really sorry about what happened the other night, uh Rory's never lied to me like that before. MRS. KIM: That you know of. LORELAI: Uh, no, I'm pretty sure that was the first time and it definitely was the last. MRS. KIM: Fine. LORELAI: Uh, so I just didn't want you to feel that you couldn't send Lane over to our house anymore, um, because you can. Believe me, those girls go nowhere without me knowing about it. In fact I was thinking of having some house arrest ankle bracelets made you know - maybe cute ones with leopard print or zebra stripes, maybe a little glitter design... MRS. KIM: Lane won't be coming over, she will stay in our house. LORELAI: Well, right. I was talking about later. I mean, she's not going to be grounded forever is she? MRS. KIM: Lane lied to me and she must be punished. LORELAI: I totally agree. But Lane is a really good kid. I don't think I've ever met a kit who respects her parents more than Lane respects you. MRS. KIM: Lying is not showing respect. LORELAI: Uh, she's 16. She had a crush on a boy. MRS. KIM: Lane is not allowed to date boys unless we have approved them. She knows that, she knows our rules and she broke them. That is unacceptable. LORELAI: Ok, yes, you're right. But teenagers sometimes slip up. MRS. KIM: I don't care what teenagers do, I care what Lane does. LORELAI: You know, it doesn't always work to just lock a kid up and throw away the key. MRS. KIM: I didn't throw away the key, it's in the kitchen. LORELAI: [taken aback] Ok, well, I was talking symbolically...but alright, I'm with you now. Look when I was a teenager, my parents tried to keep me locked up. They tried to force me to become what they had in mind, and now I'm not talking exactly about Lane here, but in my case, it really didn't work. MRS. KIM: You blame your parents for getting pregnant. LORELAI: No, I just think sometimes if I'd had a little more space or someone to listen to me, things might have turned out different. Now I got lucky, because having Rory - totally the best thing that could have happened. But let's be honest, I certainly don't want Rory to turn out like me. MRS. KIM: I don't want Lane to turn out like you either. LORELAI: Now I believe that's the first thing that you and I have ever agreed on. MRS. KIM: I just want Lane to be safe. LORELAI: I just want Rory to be safe. So, I'm gonna go now. Hey, I think you are doing a great job with Lane. She's a really great kid. I just wanted to put my two cents in because that's what I do, so. Bye. [walks out of room and breaks a vase on the way out] LORELAI: I know, you break you buy. I heard earlier. That's $35 right? CUT TO LUKE'S [Lorelai and Rory enter] RORY: An A-' - I'm very impressed. LORELAI: And annoying boy behind me? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: B+' RORY: Loser. LORELAI: I know, it's all very exciting. Ooh, hey did I tell you that Sookie and Jackson have another date tonight. RORY: What is that the third one this week? LORELAI: Yeah. RORY: That's so great. LORELAI: I know it is. Of course if she tells me the story of how Jackson cultivates his own mealworms to help fertilize his plants one more time, I'm going to Romeo and Juliet them both. RORY: It's sweet. LORELAI: Mealworms. RORY: Gross, but sweet. [Rory's pager goes off] LORELAI: Hey, you know the rules. No pages before french fries. RORY: Oh my God, it's Lane! LORELAI: Oh you're kidding. RORY: Give me your cell phone quick. LORELAI: Where are you going? I wanna hear. RORY: Outside. LORELAI: Why? RORY: Because Luke hates cell phones. LORELAI: So. RORY: I do not want to incur the wrath of Luke. LORELAI: Why not it's fun. RORY: I'll be back. LORELAI: Goody-goody. [Rory leaves] [Outside Rory dials] LANE: Rory? RORY: Lane? LANE: I'm standing in the yard! I'm standing in the yard! RORY: Oh my God, she let you out! LANE: I can go as far as the sign. RORY: That's so great! [Pan to inside] LUKE: Hey. LORELAI: Hey. LUKE: I haven't seen you since the other night. Everything turn out ok? LORELAI: Oh yeah, fine. The dating world of 16 year olds - very exciting stuff. LUKE: I bet. [pause] Oh, uh coffee? LORELAI: Do you have to ask? [Luke pours] LORELAI: You know, I had a good time the other night - with the cards. LUKE: Oh yeah, yeah - me too. LORELAI: Good. LUKE: Yeah, if fact you rushed out of here before I had a chance to - LORELAI: A chance to? LUKE: Kick your ass in poker. LORELAI: [laughs] You wish. LUKE: Burger? LORELAI: Two and fries. LUKE: Maybe we could do it again sometime. LORELAI: Oh yeah, well, I-I would like that. [Rory rushes in] RORY: Here. LORELAI: Oh where ya going? RORY: Lane's allowed outside for 15 minutes. I'm gonna go over and stand across the street and yell at her. [ rushes to the door] LORELAI: Do you still want you burger? RORY: I'll be back [ closing door] LORELAI: Yell hi' for me. [Looks at Luke, then drinks her coffee.]	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x12 - Double Date"}	foreverdreaming
1.13 - Concert Interruptus written by Elaine Arata directed by Bruce Seth Green transcript by Vanessa CUT TO LORELAI'S ROOM [Lorelai looking through her closet. Rory laying on her bed] LORELAI: Absolutely nothing. RORY: Oh come on. LORELAI: I'm sorry, I'm looking but there is nothing in here. RORY: Oh, you're kidding right? LORELAI: No, everything in here I wear. RORY: What? LORELAI: I do. There's nothing to give up. RORY: The red and black halter top? LORELAI: Oh, no. RORY: Why? LORELAI: Uh, it's a classic. RORY: It's got rhinestones and zebra stripes on it. LORELAI: So? RORY: Tassels. LORELAI: Yes. RORY: It has tassels mom. LORELAI: Ok, I've had this since I was 17 RORY: Ok, I'm sorry did I mention the tassels? LORELAI: You are heartless and unsentimental. RORY: And you are a hopeless packrat. LORELAI: I don't understand why I have to up root my happy family of clothing anyway. RORY: Because it's a charity rummage sale. LORELAI: I know. RORY: That you helped organize. LORELAI: Ok. RORY: And volunteered to run. LORELAI: It was very, very hot in that room that day, I was dehydrated. They could've talked me into anything. RORY: It was your idea. LORELAI: Ok, I am a very sick woman and that should be apparent to anyone. RORY: Ok, get out of the way. LORELAI: [Blocking her closet] What are you doing? RORY: Step away from the closet please. [pushes her aside] LORELAI: Oh! Oh, this is so unfair! Oh no, no, no. [Rory takes a section out of her closet] Not that whole chunk! Well, just - ok take that, that's ugly. Just that one...no...uh. RORY: [walking to the dresser] Ok, now all of this goes [pointing to clothes in her arms] I want you to come over here to this dresser, open up the top drawer and take out everything that you'd be embarrassed to be wearing during a car accident. Meet me downstairs. [leaves. Over her shoulder] Move! CUT GILMORE LIVING ROOM RORY: Sweater? LANE: Over here. RORY: Jeans? LANE: In back of you. RORY: A big furry purple thing that could be either a hat, a toilet paper cover or some kind of dirty hand puppet. LANE: Mystery box on the left. [Luke enters with two bags] LUKE: Hey. RORY: Hey Luke. LUKE: Where do you want these? RORY: What do you have? LUKE: Clothes, rags and some old pots and pans [holding up respective bag at a time] RORY: Kitchenware can go in the kitchen and the clothes can go right over there. LUKE: Ok. [heads for the kitchen after putting clothes down] LORELAI: [comes down the stairs] Here Grinch. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: Who wants cheese? RORY: Are there crackers? LORELAI: Somewhere in the state of Connecticut, yes there are crackers. RORY: And the Gilmore house? LORELAI: Who wants cheese? LANE: Me please. Um, kittens in the toilet poster? [holds up poster] RORY: Another one? LANE: This one's signed. LORELAI: [from the kitchen] Ah! There a man in my kitchen, somebody call the constable. LUKE: [coming into the living room. Lorelai following] You're mom's a fruit cake. LORELAI: Fruit cakes by the door please. LUKE: Good bye Rory, I wish you luck - [looks at Lorelai] with everything. RORY: I appreciate that. LORELAI: Ok, so rummage sale's Sunday, today is Tuesday. At this rate, we are going to be sleeping in the yard by Thursday. We have got to start getting some of this stuff out of the living room. TAYLOR: Hello? LORELAI: Go away. TAYLOR: I have a full set of dishes. RORY: Come on in Taylor. LORELAI: Oh, um, dishes in the kitchen please. TAYLOR: Ok, but I have to explain something first. LORELAI: Fine go ahead. TAYLOR: The butter dish has a small chip in it. LORELAI: Safety tip - got it. TAYLOR: It's fine. I filed down the chip and if you place it strategically on the table, nobody will ever know. LORELAI: Uh, Taylor, would you like to write out some sort of instruction manual to go with the dishes? TAYLOR: Oh, could I? LORELAI: Notepad's in the kitchen. [Lorelai looks through bags] LORELAI: Ooh, that's nice. RORY: Put that back. LORELAI: But it has rhinestones on it. RORY: The point of this is to get crap out of here, not to trade it in for new crap. LORELAI: Ok, are you seeing this? RORY: Yes I am. LORELAI: No, I don't think you are, because if you were seeing this, you would see that this obviously has Lorelai' written all over it. RORY: Fine, we'll just get rid of it at next year's sale. LORELAI: Thank you. [Sookie enters] SOOKIE: Ok, you guys are gonna love me. LORELAI: We already love you. SOOKIE: No, I mean you're really gonna love me. LORELAI: We do. SOOKIE: Trust me, you guys are gonna so love me. LORELAI: Ok, the love is starting to fade now Sookie. SOOKIE: I have here in my hand, as requested by Ms. Lorelai Gilmore, four fabulous tickets to the Bangles at the Pastorella theater on Saturday! LORELAI: What? RORY: No? SOOKIE: Do you love me? LORELAI: Oh baby do I! LANE: Are these good seats? These look like good seats. SOOKIE: 9th row, aisle. LORELAI: I can't believe you got me my tickets! Well, how did you score these? SOOKIE: Remember the Birnbaum wedding? LORELAI: Fiji fantasy? SOOKIE: Yes. They were so thrilled with the volcano wedding cake that they wanted to do something nice for me and since Mr. Birnbaum runs a ticket agency and I knew you were dying to so, so I asked him if he could... LORELAI: Make four girls very happy. SOOKIE: Yeah and he did! LORELAI: Huzzah for the Birnbaums! RORY: Hey Sookie, if you got four tickets and you and mom go, then that means... SOOKIE: Hmm, one for you and one for Lane! [Lane and Sookie hug] Oh, chickadee! LORELAI: This is gonna be a very special night. And you know what a very, very special night deserves? RORY: What? LORELAI: [pulls out a hot pink dress] A new outfit! RORY: Mom. LORELAI: Yes. RORY: No. LORELAI: What could the problem be? RORY: This is the tackiest... CUT TO CHILTON MS. CALDECOTT: As I mentioned yesterday, we will be holding a debate next week. Your subject Did Charles I receive a fair trial' The pros will represent the parliament who deemed they had sovereignty and the cons will represent the monarch and try and prove that the charge against him was not legal. What is fascinating Mr. Dugray? [catching him looking at Rory] TRISTIN: Uh, nothing Ms. Caldecott. MS. CALDECOTT: Nothing Mr. Dugray? TRISTIN: My notes - my notes are fascinating Ms. Caldecott. MS. CALDECOTT: Yes they are fascinating Mr. Dugray. As I was saying, the pro and con teams will each have two minutes and 30 seconds for introductions, six minutes to debate, three minutes for conclusions and five minutes for questions from the audience. The winner shall be decided by a hand count from the rest of the class. Does that sound like fun Mr. Dugray? [again, he's looking at Rory] TRISTIN: What? MS. CALDECOTT: The debate. Does it sound like fun? TRISTIN: Yes, it does. MS. CALDECOTT: It does, doesn't it Mr. Dugray? TRISTIN: Oh, it absolutely does Ms. Caldecott. MS. CALDECOTT: More fun than staring at Miss Gilmore's ear? TRISTIN: Yes Ms. Caldecott. MS. CALDECOTT: Yeah, I think so too. Ok, any questions? Good, I'll assign your teams. [Pointing] You, you, you, you - con. You, you, you, you, - pro. [in background for next two lines] You, you, you, you - con. You, you, you - PARIS: [whispers] Who did she point to? MADELINE: [whispers] Well I think she... [looking at Louise and Rory] PARIS: [stands up] Excuse me, Ms. Caldecott? MS. CALDECOTT: Miss Geller? PARIS: I wasn't sure who you pointed to just now. MS. CALDECOTT: Oh, uh, let's see. You, Miss Lynn, Miss Grant and Miss Gilmore. PARIS: Are you sure? MS. CALDECOTT: Yes I am, but thank you for asking. [Paris sits] Ok, you, you, you and you - pro. You and you - con. CUT TO HALLWAY [Paris, Louise, Madeline and Rory standing around] RORY: So I guess we should make a plan. MADELINE: To do what? PARIS: To work out our debate Madeline. MADELINE: Oh, yeah right. LOUISE: We need a place to work. PARIS: My house is out. LOUISE: Why? PARIS: Because it is. LOUISE: You need a reason. PARIS: My mother is having the entire place redone, she wants all evidence of my father out of there. So unless you want to sit on no furniture, while watching three Harvey Fierstein impersonators rip up the carpet and paint everything a ridiculous shade of white and call it angel's kiss' then we're going to have to find somebody else's house to go to. MADELINE: My brother has the measels. LOUISE: My mom's having an affair. RORY: Well I guess we can go to my house. I mean, we're having a town rummage sale so it's kind of a mess, but it's there. LOUISE: Isn't your house kind of far? RORY: It's thirty minutes away by bus. LOUISE: Bus? I don't do bus'. RORY: Well if you have a better suggestion - PARIS: I'll drive. RORY: Ok, so then tomorrow. MADELINE: Tomorrow. LOUISE: Fine. PARIS: Fine. TRISTIN: [walks right past Rory] Hey Paris. PARIS: Tristin, hi. TRISTIN: You know I was really hoping we'd be in the same group. PARIS: You were? TRISTIN: Oh yeah. I mean, it would make the long hours of studying go by a lot faster. Plus, come on - you and me on the same team, we'd wipe the floor with the others. I guess we'll just have to pair up on something else then huh? PARIS: That would be good. TRISTIN: Yeah it would. I'll see you later. Bye Madeline, bye Louise. LOUISE: Tristin suddenly has very big eyes for you grandma. MADELINE: Lucky. PARIS: Stop it, he's just being nice. MADELINE: He should be so nice to me. LOUISE: And me. PARIS: We need to get to class [the three of them leave. Paris is smiling.] CUT TO RORY AND LANE WALKING TO KIM HOUSE RORY: Tomorrow. LANE: Wow. RORY: Yup. LANE: All three of them huh? RORY: Double, double toil and trouble. LANE: Well, it should make for an interesting afternoon. RORY: With the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes. LANE: You're doing very well in the Shakespeare class aren't you? RORY: Not bad. LANE: Good. RORY: Thanks. Ok so what's the plan? LANE: We'll go in and ask her if I can go to a play tomorrow night with you and Lorelai. RORY: A play? LANE: I think that's the safest word. Show or concert would be very bad. RORY: What about saying it's a movie? LANE: Too far from the truth - almost a lie. RORY: But a play is not a lie? LANE: Well it's far away from the truth that it might work but close enough to the truth that I think I can negotiate a purgatory stint if forced to. RORY: Play it is. LANE: Ok, we're going in. [pan to inside Kim household] MAN: Are you sure it's an original Queen Anne? MRS. KIM: Yes - original. MAN: The joints look wrong. MRS. KIM: Joints are fine. MAN: They look new. MRS. KIM: Not new, nothing's new - whole store is old. MAN: Do you have a certificate or a letter that you write saying that it's old. MRS. KIM: Yes, I'll write a letter. MAN: Ok, well I guess if it's really old, I'll take it. MRS. KIM: We appreciate your business. LANE: [whispers to Rory] She just made a sale, now is a good time. [louder] Hi mama. MRS. KIM: What's wrong? LANE: Nothing. MRS. KIM: You look flushed. LANE: I do? MRS. KIM: You eat candy? LANE: No. MRS. KIM: Doughnut? LANE: No. MRS. KIM: Hostess fruit-pie? LANE: No, nothing, I'm fine. RORY: Hello Mrs. Kim. MRS. KIM: Rory. LANE: Mama can I talk to you for a minute? MRS. KIM: I'm busy. LANE: I know, I was just wondering if I could go somewhere tomorrow with Rory and her mom. MRS. KIM: Tomorrow is church. LANE: This would be after church. MRS. KIM: After church we think about what we heard in church. LANE: Well I thought I could think about what I heard in church on the way to the show. MRS. KIM: Show? RORY: Play. LANE: Not show, play - it's a play mama. MRS. KIM: Tell me about this play. What's it about? LANE: Ok, well, it's about a group of people who own instruments and stand in front of other people holding them. MRS. KIM: What? LANE: I'm not sure what it's about. RORY: We could find out. MRS. KIM: You find out, then we talk. MAN: Excuse me, I'd really like that letter if you don't mind. MRS. KIM: Yes I'm coming. [leaves] RORY: How's that purgatory negotiation looking? LANE: Not good. RORY: What do we do now? LANE: I'll ask again later. RORY: Well call me if you need anything. LANE: Thanks, I will. CUT TO LUKE'S WITH A RUMMAGE SALE SIGN IN THE WINDOW LUKE: If you want coffee, you'll have to wait. RORY: Hey Luke, someone put a sign for the rummage sale up in your window over there. LUKE: You can have decaf right now if you're in a hurry. RORY: You should call the cops about this. I mean we all know how you feel about public displays of town affection. LUKE: Your mom asked me to put it there ok? RORY: And you said yes? LUKE: She's not real good with no'. RORY: No she's not. LUKE: For every second you laugh at me, that's one second longer you're waiting for coffee. RORY: Sorry, no laughing. [he leaves] [Lorelai walks in with a black and brown polka dot cowboy hat on] LORELAI: Margaret Atworthy just dropped off three boxes of city council pot holders and begged me to take her grandson. People are getting crazy man. What? RORY: What are you wearing? LORELAI: Hey, we have already argued about the sweatshirt. RORY: Yes but we have not argued about the hat. LORELAI: What hat? RORY: The one on your head, Annie Oakley. LORELAI: It's great isn't it? RORY: As nice as it is that you're single handedly trying to rebuild the bridge, you have got to stop buying up other people's junk. LORELAI: The money goes to charity. I look cute. Case closed. Oh finally, the coffee cavalry arrives. LUKE: What the hell do you think you're wearing? LORELAI: A hat. LUKE: Take that off. LORELAI: What? LUKE: Now that is not yours, take it off. LORELAI: But I'll have hat hair. LUKE: I'm talking about the sweatshirt. LORELAI: Luke calm down. LUKE: That is not yours. LORELAI: No, I found it in the bags of stuff for the sale. LUKE: Oh so you just find something and then you take it is that it? LORELAI: No, I paid for it. LUKE: Oh so that makes it alright. LORELAI: It makes it legal. What is the matter with you? LUKE: Nothing. Nothing is the matter. LORELAI: Luke... LUKE: Pour your own coffee. [puts coffee pot down on the counter and leaves] CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE [Living room is stuffed with bags/boxes of stuff to the point where you can't see furniture] LORELAI: [sighs] Ok just a question. Did anyone in town keep anything? SOOKIE: Doesn't look like it. LORELAI: I'm never being civic-minded again. SOOKIE: Honey, you're doing a good thing. [falls] Ow! LORELAI: Sookie! SOOKIE: I'm ok. LORELAI: Wave an arm. SOOKIE: [Waving her arm] Here. LORELAI: I gotcha. [takes her hand and starts to pull her up] SOOKIE: Hold on, something down here likes me. LORELAI: Oh. SOOKIE: Yeah, I'm good. Hold on. Up, please. RORY: Jeez this stuff is like tribbles. LORELAI: Oh, thank God - just in time. Grab a bag and move it to the side of the room and be very careful, this pile just tried to eat Sookie. RORY: Maybe I should sic it on Paris when she gets here. LORELAI: Oh my God, that's right. You're studying here today. RORY: Any minute actually. LORELAI: Oh this place is such a pit. RORY: Mom don't worry about it. They'll come in, they'll make a face, they'll say something snotty, we'll study, they'll leave. I'm just looking forward to this whole day being over, then I can concentrate on the concert. LORELAI: Yeah. MISS PATTY: Lorelai, sweetheart would you come outside please? I want to know where you want me to put these. LORELAI: Coming Patty! SOOKIE: Ok, two very large porcelain squirrels. LORELAI: Set them free. SOOKIE: Will do. [Pan to outside. Patty's standing in front of big drums.] LORELAI: Wow, huh. These are great. They'll really come in handy when we finally organize that giant marching band we've been talking about. MISS PATTY: I danced on these drums at the Copacabana in 1969. LORELAI: Wow. MISS PATTY: Yeah, it was a great act. I wore bananas. LORELAI: Oh please, tell me you have a picture of that. MISS PATTY: [chuckles] A lot of memories happened on these drums. But I guess it's time to move on. LORELAI: Yeah, sure. Now you'll finally have room for the enormous tuba you've hand your eyes on. [Miss Patty looks at her] Just leave - leave these here. [Inside] RORY: [on the phone] Yeah, you too. Bye. [hangs up] That was Lane [to Lorelai] LORELAI: Oh and what's the verdict? RORY: She decided to be stupid and tell her mother the truth - that she wanted to go to a rock concert with us tonight in New York. LORELAI: Stupid. RORY: Stupid. LORELAI: I'm so sorry. RORY: I'm making coffee. MISS PATTY: Well this looks really familiar. [picking up Lorelai's sweatshirt] LORELAI: Oh, that's mine. Er, I saw it first and then I bought it so it's mine now. MISS PATTY: Really? Who brought it in? LORELAI: I think Luke did and judging by his very hostile reaction he obviously wasn't done wearing it yet. MISS PATTY: Oh my, I wonder if - LORELAI: What? MISS PATTY: [to Sookie] I bet this was Rachel's. SOOKIE: Oh my God - Rachel's? LORELAI: Rachel? Who's Rachel? SOOKIE: Rachel was Luke's very serious girlfriend. It does look like her. LORELAI: When did Luke have a girlfriend? MISS PATTY: Oh this must have been what, five, six years ago? Did she break that man's heart. It was terrible. LORELAI: How did I not know about this? SOOKIE: Honey, you had an 11 year old kid and you were just moving into this house. Plus Rachel traveled all the time. She was a photographer. MISS PATTY: Archeologist. SOOKIE: Really? MISS PATTY: Or a flight attendant. LORELAI: I can't believe I never even heard about it. MISS PATTY: At least I think so. SOOKIE: Well Luke never talks about it. No one else likes to talk about it because he could probably k*ll you with that coffee pot if he wanted to. LORELAI: Wow. I never pictured Luke having a girlfriend, or a broken heart. MISS PATTY: Well I would keep this hidden if I were you. Well I gotta be going. Trampoline class at two. SOOKIE: Bye Patty. MISS PATTY: Bye. LORELAI: Bye, thanks for the drums. SOOKIE: Ok, these all need to be mended. LORELAI: My room. SOOKIE: Mm-hmm. Ok. [Lorelai looks out the window and sees Paris, Madeline and Louise getting out of a car] LORELAI: Rory, I think your friends are here. She must be one great babysitter to earn enough money for that car. RORY: Let's just get this over with. LORELAI: Take heart my dear. Suffer today party tonight. LORELAI: [Opens front door] Hi. LOUISE: Hi. MADELINE: Hi. LORELAI: Come one in. RORY: So did you guys find it ok? PARIS: There's no sign on this street. RORY: I know, that's why I told you to turn right at the big rooster statue. PARIS: I thought you were kidding. LORELAI: Oh no, we never kid about Monty. LOUISE: Monty? LORELAI: Monty the rooster - Monty. LOUISE: Oh. RORY: Everybody this is my mom. LORELAI: Lorelai. RORY: This is Louise, Madeline and Paris. LORELAI: Ah, very good girl-group names. Ok, so, um sorry about the house of horrors here. Some crazy lady volunteered to lead this charity thing and we're trying to get her some help, so make yourselves comfortable. Rory, just yell when you guys want pizza. RORY: Ok. LORELAI: Ok. [goes upstairs] RORY: So do you guys want to work in here or in the kitchen? PARIS: Whatever. RORY: Ok. [they sit in the livingroom] PARIS: Ok, so here's how it should go. Madeline will do the introductions, I'll handle the debate, Rory will do the onclusion and Louise will take questions. RORY: Why do you automatically get to handle the debate? PARIS: Because I'm the most experienced at it. MADELINE: Trust me, you want her to handle the debate. She never gives up. LOUISE: Le pitbull. RORY: Ok. LOUISE: So what is all this stuff? [going through some bags] RORY: Uh, it's for a big town rummage sale. MADELINE: Like a charity thing? RORY: Yeah. There's this old bridge that's completely falling apart and the town's trying to save it. LOUISE: Oh cool hat. PARIS: Put that down. It's used. LOUISE: Vintage dear. PARIS: Filthy darling. MADELINE: There's this great store under my therapist office who has the best vintage clothes. I found an original Pucci top for practically nothing. LOUISE: Oh Pucci is very big right now. MADELINE: Is this a Pucci? [holding up a shirt] RORY: No, that's a patty. LOUISE: A patty? RORY: Miss Patty. She's a dance teacher here. These are some of her old costumes. LOUISE: Oh here Paris. Tristin might like this [holds up a pink sequence dress] PARIS: Can we just work please? LOUISE: Ugh. I would love to have a boyfriend that looked like Tristin. MADELINE: Your boyfriend's no slouch either. RORY: No he's not. LOUISE: Oh yes - 6'2... and fiesty. So how's that going? Are you two still Joanie loves Chachi'? RORY: God, I hope not. MADELINE: You are still together aren't you? RORY: Yeah, we're still together. LOUISE: How long has it been? RORY: I don't know. MADELINE: You do too. RORY: About a month. LOUISE: Oh, lifers. PARIS: Hey! MADELINE: Jeez. PARIS: We have a debate to organize here and this conversation is quickly veering towards the subject of french kissing and glitter eye shadow - trashy or trendy? And I for one have no intention of being humiliated in front of the whole class because we were forced to study in the middle of a carnival and you two couldn't keep your eye on the prize! I want to win and I'm going to win. LOUISE: So how good of a kisser is Paul Bunyan anyway? [Louise, Madeline and Rory giggle.] [Pan to Lorelai's room] SOOKIE: Ok, does anyone in town have a peg leg? LORELAI: Uh...no. SOOKIE: Hem these. LORELAI: So tell me more about this Rachel? SOOKIE: Why are you so curious? LORELAI: Well because apparently everybody in town knows everything about it and I don't like to be out of the loop. SOOKIE: It's old news. LORELAI: Yes but I'm fascinated. I mean, I go to Luke's once a day, sometimes twice - three times if Michel has talked to one of his relatives and his accent has gotten thicker. I feel I should know the whole story. What happened? Where'd she go? SOOKIE: Well, Rachel liked to move around a lot. She was very adventurous person. She loved to climb things and fling herself off of cliffs and dive into these really tiny lakes and ride big wild horses and fly planes. LORELAI: So she was wonder woman. SOOKIE: She was to Luke. I thought they were going to get married. LORELAI: What happened? SOOKIE: The rumour is that Starts Hollow was too small for her. She wanted to live somewhere more exciting. LORELAI: But Luke didn't. SOOKIE: Mm. You know Luke. He lived here all his life. He wouldn't even go away for college. I think we're going to bury him in that diner. LORELAI: Wow. It's sad. SOOKIE: Yeah. Ok, well I am done here. I'm gonna stop by the inn for a while and then I am gonna go home and I'm gonna change for the show tonight. LORELAI: We leave at 6. SOOKIE: I will be here, bye [Pan to living room] PARIS: We'll need the actual quotes so learn them by heart. MADELINE: What about using note cards. PARIS: Note cards look sloppy. We will know our information. MADELINE: But the other teams will use note cards. PARIS: And the other team will lose. SOOKIE: Bye girls, Rory, see you tonight! RORY: Bye Sookie. LORELAI: What's tonight? RORY: We've got tickets to see the Bangles at the Pastorella theatre. MADELINE: In New York? RORY: Yeah. LOUISE: Sounds potentially not boring. RORY: It's gonna be great actually and the seats are amazing. MADELINE: Who are you going with? RORY: My mom and Sookie. LOUISE: You're kidding? RORY: What? LOUISE: You're going to a concert with your mom? RORY: Yeah. MADELINE: I cannot imagine doing anything like that with my mom. RORY: Actually we do stuff like this all the time. MADELINE: Really? RORY: Yeah. MADELINE: Wow. LOUISE: Hey, how old is your mom anyways? RORY: 32. MADELINE: Young. LOUISE: So that means she had you when she was... PARIS: 16. She had her when she was 16. We've done the math, can we just ooh' and aah' about this quickly and get back to work? LOUISE: 16. I'm 16. MADELINE: So am I. PARIS: We're all 16 ok. Everybody in this room is 16. RORY: Paris is right. We should work. PARIS: Thank you. LOUISE: I can't imaging having a baby at 16. PARIS: Well then keep your knees shut. LOUISE: Very nice. MADELINE: Do you think your mom is sorry she got pregnant so young? PARIS: Of course she is. RORY: Why thank you. PARIS: I didn't meant that. I just meant that... RORY: I mean, I don't think she would recommend it but I think she's happy with how things turned out. LORELAI: I am? RORY: Yes you are. LORELAI: Ok, just checking. Hey, I'm starving, is it pizza time yet? RORY: Are you guys hungry? MADELINE: I am. PARIS: I can't eat dairy. LORELAI: Ok, one with cheese, one without. Cokes? RORY: Yes please. MADELINE: Me too. PARIS: We're never going to finish. LOUISE: I find your mother completely fascinating. RORY: Funny - so does she. LOUISE: It's almost more like having a big sister. MADELINE: And you like her don't you? RORY: She's my best friend. LOUISE: Truly, completely fascinating. LORELAI: [from the kitchen] Rory come in here a sec! RORY: I'll be right back. [Pan to kitchen] LORELAI: Hey, how's it going in there? RORY: Truly, completely fascinating. LORELAI: Really? RORY: Well we've basically gotten no work down at all. Paris is having a meltdown, which by the way is always fun. LORELAI: Sounds it. RORY: And, I don't know, we've just been talking. LORELAI: Well, I think you're actually making some friends here. RORY: Let's not get ahead of ourselves. They've basically just moved off the plan to dump the pig's blood on me at the prom, that's all. LORELAI: Talking, chatting, no work being done - there's friend potential going on. RORY: Maybe - with Louise and Madeline at least. LORELAI: Two out or three formerly psychotic enemies - not bad. There [handing Rory a plate]- pop-tart appetizers to tide you over till the pizza comes. RORY: Thanks [turns to leave] LORELAI: Hey, I have kind of a crazy idea. RORY: Those are never comforting words coming from you. LORELAI: Just consider this ok? RORY: Ok. LORELAI: Now, we have four tickets to the show tonight. RORY: Yes we do. LORELAI: What if I give them to you? You take them. RORY: What are you talking about? LORELAI: Well, it just seems like you guys have kind of a bonding thing going on in there, it might be fun. RORY: But what about you? LORELAI: No, no you and I have already bonded. In fact, if we bond any further, we will be permanently fused together. RORY: You've been talking about this concert since you heard about it. LORELAI: I can still go. RORY: How? LORELAI: Sookie and I can buy cheap seats when we get there. RORY: These tickets are 9th row aisle - dream seats. LORELAI: Look, you don't have to do this, but I just think you have three years of Chilton ahead of you and it might be nice to have some friendly type people to talk to there. And I don't know, you guys seem to be getting along, it might be good. And I totally don't mind, I just want to see the show, I don't care from what seat. RORY: Are you sure? LORELAI: Completely sure. RORY: Because I - LORELAI: Oh ladies! [taking plate and going into the living room] Hey what are you guys doing tonight? MADELINE: Why? LORELAI: Well we have these really great tickets to see the Bangles at the Pastorella theater and Rory thought you might like to come along. MADELINE: Are you serious? LOUISE: No way. RORY: Yeah - I mean if you guys want to. MADELINE: I would love to go. LOUISE: Count me in. RORY: Paris, what about you? PARIS: I can't. LOUISE: Yes you can. PARIS: No, I can't. LOUISE: Because you're busy doing what? PARIS: I have homework. MADELINE: She'll be there. RORY: Good. LORELAI: Great. CUT TO NY [In the theater. Sookie squeals] RORY: He made it [Louise and Madeline look at bracelet Dean made for her] MADELINE: Oh he's handy. How great. LOUISE: And you wear it all the time right? LORELAI: Just when she's breathing. SOOKIE: It's a love thing. RORY: Thanks for the contributions. LORELAI: Ok here [offers tickets but pulls them back] Ah! With these tickets you are about to enter sacred space, you will be treading on hallowed ground, you will be walking like and Egyptian. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: Take'em. Oh you're going to have a great time. The Bangles are the best! They were my favorite band in high school. I almost named you Susanna. The day I found out you had no musical talent at all was the saddest day of my life. RORY: I'm sorry. LORELAI: Well you say that now. Here, ok, these are probably located - Hi! [to usher] USHER: Hi. LORELAI: Can you tell me where these seats are? USHER: Uh, those are right in here. LORELAI: Oh good, girls...ok, here's the deal. Take the tickets, go to your seats, have the night of a lifetime - Bangle it up. The second the concert is over, meet us outside in front of the theater got it? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: Good! Now go! RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: You're welcome. [to Sookie] Ok, let's go make our noses bleed. SOOKIE: After you. PARIS: Which aisle is it? LOUISE: We're almost there. MADELINE: I have never sat this close to a stage before. In fact, I've never even really been to a concert before so I could be sitting at the back and say the same thing. LOUISE: In here. MADELINE: Oh good. RORY: Wow, these are amazing seats. LOUISE: [checking out the cute guys in the row behind them] Yes they are. RORY: [to Paris] What are they looking at? PARIS: One guess. [Rory looks behind them at the guys] GUY: Check it out, we've got fans [seeing Rory] PARIS: Was I right? [as Rory turns back] RORY: You were right. PARIS: And before it's dark, they'll have every picnic basket that's in Jelly Stone park. [Pan to Sookie and Lorelai climbing stairs] SOOKIE: Did you ever see Everest? LORELAI: No. SOOKIE: It's a good movie. LORELAI: We must be getting close, we're running out of rows. SOOKIE: And 1,000. Ok, we're here. LORELAI: Great. Ok, this is fine [sitting] SOOKIE: Not bad at all. [Lorelai starts to laugh] What? What? What is so funny? LORELAI: [laughing] These are the worst seats in the entire world! SOOKIE: They are, aren't they? LORELAI: Oh my God, it's so funny. [to guy next to her] Don't you think this is funny? GUY: You know, I don't. LORELAI: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. SOOKIE: Ooh, they're starting. Do you have a lighter? LORELAI: [laughing] You mean a flame thrower? [to guy] Do you get it? A flame thrower because it's so far. ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen - The Bangles! [Bangles play. Pan to later during the concert, Rory and Paris are watching the concert and Louise and Madeline are flirting with the guys in the row behind them. Pan to Lorelai and Sookie] LORELAI: Hey, was Rachel pretty? SOOKIE: What? LORELAI: I'm just curious, was she pretty? SOOKIE: She was pretty. LORELAI: Like, what kind of pretty? SOOKIE: What do you mean what kind of pretty'? LORELAI: I mean, like was she a Catherine Zeta-Jones kind of pretty or a Michelle Pfiffer-y pretty or - SOOKIE: She was an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty. LORELAI: Really. SOOKIE: Yup. LORELAI: That's an intense kind of pretty. SOOKIE: You're not kidding. LORELAI: I never pictured Luke with an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty. SOOKIE: No? Pictured him more with a Lorelai Gilmore kind of pretty? LORELAI: Oh, the air up here must be very thin because you're delirious. SOOKIE: And you're jealous. LORELAI: What? SOOKIE: You're jealous of Rachel. LORELAI: You're accusing me of being jealous of a woman who dumped a man I'm not even interested in five years ago? SOOKIE: Yes. LORELAI: And you don't think that's crazy? SOOKIE: Oh I do think that's crazy? LORELAI: Right, I'm not jealous. SOOKIE: Yeah you are. [Lorelai scoffs. Pan to girls] LOUISE: Oh my God! He is so gorgeous. RORY: I guess. LOUISE: Listen, there's a massive party going on right around the corner. RORY: So? LOUISE: So they invited us. RORY: Who? LOUISE: Jess and Sean, we've been talking to them this whole time, they're extremely cool. MADELINE: Are we going? RORY: Going where? MADELINE: To the party? RORY: There's a concert going on. LOUISE: The band won't miss us. RORY: We can't just leave Louise. LOUISE: It's America Rory. RORY: We have to meet my mom after the show. LOUISE: Oh come on. RORY: What do you mean Oh come on'. We have to meet my mother after the concert. The band may not miss us but Lorelai sure will. MADELINE: These guys are so cute. RORY: Oh that's great but we're not going anywhere. LOUISE: What are you afraid? RORY: Of going out into a strange city with two guys I don't know? Yeah. MADELINE: Rory please! RORY: No! LOUISE: Well we're going. RORY: No you're not. LOUISE: Paris, join please? PARIS: No, thanks. LOUISE: Fine, come on Madeline. RORY: And just what am I supposed to tell my mother? LOUISE: That you're a very good little girl. [gets up and leaves] RORY: Louise. MADELINE: The party's in a building on the corner of Waverly and First. Try to get away. [leaves] RORY: Madeline. MADELINE: We'll be back by the time the concert's over. PARIS: You know, I really like this band. [Pan to later. Rory and Paris waiting] PARIS: Well? RORY: I couldn't find Mom or Sookie anywhere. PARIS: So what do we do now? RORY: I guess we just wait here for them to find us. PARIS: Ok. RORY: I can't believe Louise and Madeline would just leave like that. PARIS: They've done it before. RORY: Nice. PARIS: Yeah, well. RORY: Can I ask you a question? PARIS: Maybe. RORY: What could you possibly see in Tristin? PARIS: You wouldn't understand. RORY: Is it just that he's cute? PARIS: Partly. RORY: Cause there are a lot of cute guys in the world. PARIS: Not like Tristin. RORY: He's just such a jerk. PARIS: He's not always a jerk. RORY: No? PARIS: No. RORY: Ok. When is not a jerk? PARIS: I've known Tristin a really long time ok? We've been in the same class since kindergarten. RORY: Really? PARIS: Yes...and he has things in his life that are hard. His parents - not so great. We have that in common. RORY: Ok. PARIS: He kissed me once. RORY: He did? PARIS: In the 6th grade - on a dare. RORY: How romantic. PARIS: You just don't know him like I do ok? RORY: Ok, I believe you. I just - I think maybe you could do better. PARIS: I know he's flirting with me to get to you, but at least he's flirting with me. LORELAI: Hey. RORY: There you are. LORELAI: Think fast [throws them a t-shirt each] T-shirts for all the girls because I'm the good witch of the - hey, aren't you missing a couple of kids? RORY: They left. LORELAI: Excuse me? RORY: Madeline and Louise met these guys and they - LORELAI: What guys? RORY: I don't know, they were sitting behind us and they were having a party. LORELAI: Unbelievable! SOOKIE: What's going on? LORELAI: They left. SOOKIE: What? LORELAI: Let's go, come on, move. CUT TO APARTMENT BUILDING LORELAI: I leave the house with four girls, I'm coming home with four girls. [knocks on a door] Hi, I'm looking for a couple of college boys, who might live here or have friends who live here. WOMAN: I don't talk to anyone. People annoy me. [closes door] LORELAI: [coming up to Sookie listening at a door] What? SOOKIE: She found him with the blonde again. PARIS: She's gonna knock on every door in the entire building isn't she? RORY: Yep. PARIS: Wow. LORELAI: [knocks] Hello? Is anyone home? SOOKIE: [knocks] Hello? [dog barks] Aah! Let's go follow your mother. PARIS: I wonder if I was missing if my mom would come looking for me like that. RORY: Paris, you know she would. PARIS: Yeah, or at least she'd send somebody. [Lorelai knocks on another door. There's music playing] SOOKIE: Music. LORELAI: Let's go. [knocks. Guy answers] RORY: Mom, that's one of the guys. GUY: Yeah? LORELAI: Thanks. Hi, could you move please? [enters] GUY: What? LORELAI: Hey, did you miss me? LOUISE: Lorelai. LORELAI: Ms. Gilmore. Put the cups down, let's move. GUY: Is there a problem? LORELAI: Yeah, see those two idiots over there? They're 16 - underage and I bet you're not. I also bet those big fancy party cups aren't holding lemonade. You really want to end any further conversations with me so step aside Skippy. Move your asses outside - now! [they leave apart.] Hey. I am not even going to begin to tell you how completely insane it is to take off with anyone you don't know, or drink things that you don't know what's in them, or act like you have a clue when you don't, but so help me God if you ever pull a stunt like this again, it will not be around my kid! Do you understand me? LOUISE: Yes. MADELINE: Yes. LORELAI: Good, now let's go. I can't wait to meet your parents. We have some catching up to do. I think we'll just talk and talk and talk all night long. PARIS: You know what? I think this is the best night I've ever had. CUT TO RUMMAGE SALE LANE: I cannot believe I missed it. RORY: The concert was amazing. LANE: Forget about the concert. I wanted to see Lorelai pull those idiots out of that guy's apartment. RORY: It definitely was a Kodak moment. LORELAI: Hey. RORY: Hey. LORELAI: Hey, you didn't wake me up. RORY: I set the clock. LORELAI: Yes, but see the clock stops ringing once I throw it against the wall giving me ample time to fall back to sleep, you however never stop yapping no matter how hard I throw you, thus ensuring the wake up process. LANE: I'm gonna get a soda, anybody want anything? RORY: Gum. LORELAI: Yes, the night of my 14th birthday back so I can right the green-hot-pant-roller-disco outfit wrong. LANE: Coming right up. LORELAI: Bye. So, talked to anybody today? RORY: You mean Madeline or Louise or Paris? LORELAI: Yes. RORY: No. LORELAI: Right. RORY: Though I bet school tomorrow will be really interesting. LORELAI: Oh yes - stories of Rory's Bangle's - obsessed mother ripping open apartment doors, scaring the pointy haired boys. RORY: Totally uncool, man. LORELAI: I had to do it Rory, they could've gotten hurt. RORY: I know. LORELAI: God, I thought inviting those girls out would make things easier for you at school. RORY: Yeah, well I've always thought easy' is completely overrated. LORELAI: Oh, that's my twisted girl. RORY: Plus Paris decided to let me split the debate time with her. LORELAI: Wow! [pause] Wait, why am I wowing? RORY: Because splitting debate time with Paris is like doing that whole spitting in your palm and shaking hands' friendship oath thing. LORELAI: But way less gross? RORY: Yeah. LORELAI: Oh, good, I'm glad then. Oh, uh, I'll be right back. RORY: Ok. LORELAI: [coming up to Luke] Hey. LUKE: Oh, hey. LORELAI: Find anything good? LUKE: Oh yeah, I got some refrigerator magnets shaped like sushi for a nickel, so basically I scored. LORELAI: Oh good. LUKE: Hey, look, about that thing that happened the other day - LORELAI: Oh forget it. LUKE: I was a jerk, I didn't mean it. LORELAI: I know - really LUKE: Yeah well, I am sorry. LORELAI: I wanted to give this back to you [offering Rachel's sweatshirt] LUKE: Oh no, you bought it. LORELAI: I know but it's yours and I didn't know. LUKE: You didn't know? LORELAI: About the former owner. LUKE: Oh. LORELAI: If I had, I wouldn't have flaunted it in front of you like that. LUKE: Hey, it's not a big deal, I was having a bad day, that's it. Now I got magnetic sushi and all is right with the world. LORELAI: Ok good. So here. It obvious ly means something to you. LUKE: But you have to let things go eventually right? LORELAI: Yeah, but sometimes you need a little something to remind you. I mean you wouldn't want to forget everything would you? LUKE: No there was some stuff that I definitely would not want to forget. LORELAI: Well here, so you don't forget. LUKE: Thanks, can I pay you for it? LORELAI: In coffee, absolutely. LUKE: Alright. I'm not pining you know - LORELAI: I know LUKE: Just remembering. LORELAI: Got it. LUKE: Remembering is not pining. LORELAI: You're absolutely right. LUKE: It's just like a memento, like restaurant matches. LORELAI: I can see the resemblance. LUKE: Ok, well good. LORELAI: Bye Luke. LUKE: Bye.	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x13 - Concert Interruptus"}	foreverdreaming
1.14 - That Damn Donna Reed written by Daniel Palladino & Amy Sherman-Palladino directed by Michael Katleman (Dean walks into Lorelai's house carrying a pizza.) DEAN: Hello? LORELAI: Do you come bearing pizza? DEAN: I'm not an idiot. LORELAI: Then get in here. RORY: Hey. DEAN: Hey. LORELAI: Sit -- you're missing it. DEAN: What are we watching? LORELAI: The incomparable "Donna Reed Show." RORY: What's in there? DEAN: A salad. RORY: Salad? DEAN: Yeah, it's a quaint dish sometimes used to precede large quantities of pizza. (Lorelai and Rory give him strange looks.) DEAN: It's for me. RORY: Clearly. DEAN: So, who's Donna Reed. RORY: What? LORELAI: You don't know who Donna Reed is? The quintissential 50s mom with the perfect 50s family? RORY: Never without a smile and high heels? Hair, that if you ht it with a hammer, would crack? DEAN: So it's a show? RORY: It's a lifestyle. LORELAI: It's a religion. RORY: My favorite episode -- LORELAI: Mm, mm...tell me, tell me. RORY: -- is when their son, Jeff, comes home from school and nothing happens. LORELAI: Oh that's a good one. One of my favorites is when Mary, the daughter, gets a part-time job and nothing happens. RORY: Another classic. DEAN: So what's this one about? LORELAI: This one is actually quite filled with intrigue. The husband, Alex, comes home late for dinner and he didn't call. RORY: Might as well kick the dog too. LORELAI: Oh, oh, look, she's making doughnuts. DONNA REED: ...behind in the sugar department. JEFF: I guess I was thinking of something else, Mom. LORELAI: "Not that my sugary attitude wouldn't make anyone an instant diabetic." RORY: Mother-daughter window washing. We should try that. LORELAI: Yeah, right after mother-daughter shock treatments. "You know, Daughter, there's nothing more satisfying thatn washing windows -- oh no!" RORY: "What? Did I miss a spot?" LORELAI: "No, I just had an impure thought about your father, Alex. Funny -- I don't know why I had it. It isn't the second Saturday of the month." RORY: (in a deeper voice) "Hey, I heard you had an impure thought." LORELAI: "I must now sublimate all my impure thoughts by going into the kitchen and making an endless string of perfect casseroles." DEAN: You're not even listening to the dialogue. RORY: Ours is better. DEAN: I don't know -- it all seems kind of nice to me. RORY: What does? DEAN: Well, you know, families hanging together. I mean, a wife cooking dinner for her husband. And look -- she seems really happy. LORELAI: She's medicated. RORY: And acting from a script. LORELAI: Written by a man. RORY: Well said, Sister Suffragette. DEAN: What if she likes making doughnuts and dinner for her family and keeping things nice for them and -- (Rory and Lorelai stare at him.) DEAN: OK, I feel very unpopular right now. DONNA REED: You, know, dear, the first ten years we were married, I was upset when you came home late for dinner. ALEX: And you're not anymore? DONNA REED: Nope. You are no longer late for dinner. You're just extremely early for breakfast. DEAN: Hey, I'm not saying a word. (Cut to Lorelai and Rory entering Luke's.) RORY: Can brains hurt? LORELAI: Yes, it's hypochondria hour. RORY: No, I'm serious. Last night when I was reading my biology chapters I distinctly heard a ping in the vicinity of my brain. LORELAI: Your brain pinged? RORY: Yeah. It just went like "dink." LORELAI: Well then, honey, your brain dinked. It didn't ping. RORY: Well I don't think a dinking brain is any less worrisome than a pinging brain. LORELAI: Well, you got me there. RORY: So should I go to a tumor doctor? LORELAI: No, you don't have a tumor. You're reading too much. You're probably just losing your eyesight. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: You're welcome. (Luke comes to take their order.) LORELAI: Hi, can you take a little constructive criticism? LUKE: No. LORELAI: OK. This place could use a makeover. LUKE: Hmm. LORELAI: Yeah. It just needs a sprucing up. Like a coat of paint. LUKE: I don't spruce. LORELAI: What do you mean you don't spruce? TAYLOR: What he means is he won't spruce, that's what he means. LUKE: Taylor, do not start. TAYLOR: Me and the rest of the town beautification committee have been hounding him for years to freshen up the place -- maybe a couple of nice zinnia pots out front, some yellow awnings, a peppy little cardboard pig announcing the specials -- but he's a mule. He won't talk, he won't reason, he won't spruce. You might as well forget it, Lorelai. I'm forgetting it too. LUKE: Finally a Taylor Doose position I can get behind. TAYLOR: Faded paint is a bad reflection on the whole town. LUKE: Whatever happened to giving up? TAYLOR: When standards slip, families flee and in comes the seedy crowd. You got trouble, my friends. LORELAI: Right here in River City! TAYLOR: This is not funny, Lorelai. LUKE: Does anyone want anything? LORELAI: Uh, yes, I do. I want to know why you won't paint this place. LUKE: Painting's a pain. I'd have to close the place for a day -- which I can't afford -- or paint it in the middle of the night -- which I don't want to do because I hate painting. LORELAI: OK, how about this? I'll help you. I love to paint. LUKE: You do? LORELAI: Yes, I do. LUKE: You love it? LORELAI: I want to marry it. LUKE: You have strange passions. RORY: She likes washing dishes too. She's mult-faceted abnormal. LORELAI: Ah, come on. We'll drink a couple beers, we'll sing painting songs. LUKE: Painting songs. LORELAI: Yeah, painting songs. Like, uh, you know, the song that goes, um...(singing) "Grab your brush and grab your rollers/All you kids and all you...bowlers/We're going paintin' today!" Say yes or there's another verse. LUKE: Well I guess maybe...if I had help. TAYLOR: Really? Oh my God! That's wonderful! Hurrah! LUKE: Taylor, it's not for you. It's for me. TAYLOR: I can't wait to tell the rest of the committee. They're not going to believe this. LUKE: I hate that he's pleased. LORELAI: Ah, you'll drop a gum wrapper on the street in front of his store later. LUKE: Yeah, good idea. (Cut to the Gilmores' weekly Friday night dinner.) LORELAI Mmm. Kick-ass wine. EMILY: How poetic. LORELAI: It's got a nice smell: earthy, vibrant. I can taste the Italians' feet. RICHARD: It's a Bordeaux. It's French. LORELAI: Ah. What's an Italian foot doing in a French wine? RORY: So when do you guys leave for Martha's Vineyard? RICHARD: Ah, we're not going to Martha's Vineyard this year. RORY: Really? Why not? RICHARD: Our usual rental wasn't available when we inquired -- late. EMILY: We should have just bought a place years ago like I wanted. RICHARD: It wouldn't have been prudent. EMILY: Now we have no place to go next week. RORY: Well you could always go somewhere else, couldn't you? RICHARD: We always go to the Vineyard at this time of year. LORELAI: Well, you know, you could break the chain, Dad. Go to Paris. RORY: Yes, Paris! LORELAI: Impressionism, poodles. RORY: Creme broule. LORELAI: Oh, that's great! RICHARD: Impossible! LORELAI: Porquoi? (to Rory) French. EMILY: We only go to Europe in the fall. LORELAI: You know, Mom, I heard a rumor Europe's still there in the spring. RORY: I heard that too. EMILY: We know that it's there in the spring but we never go in the spring because we always go in the fall. LORELAI: It's getting a little too Lewis Carroll for me. RICHARD: Well what is so interesting about Europe in the spring? LORELAI: Spring vegetables. EMILY: You want us to go to Europe to eat a vegetable? LORELAI: No, Mom. I don't know. There's all kinds of stuff. There's festivals and, you know, Europe. EMILY: In the fall. RICHARD: It costs a fortune to travel first class in Europe. We only do it every two years. EMILY: In the fall. RICHARD: It's just not in the budget this year. LORELAI: You don't have to fly first class. (Emily and Richard look stunned.) LORELAI: 'Cause there's always coach. (Ricahrd looks horrified.) LORELAI: Or business class is slightly less. There's deals on the internet. (no answer) Hmm. Pass the potatoes. RORY: You got it. (Cut to Lorelai's kitchen. She's mending Rory's Chilton sweater while Rory is wearing it. Rory is using index cards to study. Occasionally she reaches across the table for another card.) RORY: Catherine the Great - 1729 to '96. Empress of Russia - 1762 to '96. LORELAI: OK, hold still please. RORY: Originally named Sophie Friedricke Augustine von Anhalt-Zerbst. LORELAI: But everybody called her "Kitten." RORY: Married to Grand Duke Peter of Holstein in 1754. LORELAI: OK, Rory, seriously. RORY: The marriage was an unhappy one. LORELAI: Well there were way too many names. (Rory reaches for another card.) LORELAI: Ow! Lady with notecards just look at lady with needle and just try to focus for one second so that I can sew the button on your sweater and not on my thumb. RORY: I'm sorry. (Knock on the door.) RORY: I'll get it! (Rory rushes to the door.) LORELAI: Oh, you're four years old. (Rory lets Babette in.) BABETTE: Oh, hiya, baby doll. RORY: Hi, Babette. LORELAI: Hey! Do you want some coffee? BABETTE: Oh, no thanks. I just came over to ask a great big favor. LORELAI: Ask away. BABETTE: Well, see, Morey just got a call to play a gig at the Village Vanguard tonight so we got to go to New York. LORELAI: Oh wow! Cream? BABETTE: And sugar. Thanks. Anyway, yesterday Morey and I finally broke down and we got ourselves a new little baby, you know? LORELAI: Oh, honey, you got a kitten! Good for you. RORY: What's its name? BABETTE: Apricot. He's just the cutest thing. But he's so teeny. There's no way he can go with us and I would hate for him to stay all alone in the house so I was thinking maybe Rory could come over and house-sit for the evening. RORY: I'd love to. BABETTE: Oh great! We've got a kitchen full of food and Morey just got cable so you can watch those four girls talking dirty if you want to. RORY: Sounds good. BABETTE: You're an angel. Both of you -- angels. You have a key, right? LORELAI: We got it covered. BABETTE: Oh great. All right. I'll leave ya the number where we're staying. Have a good time. We'll be back tomorrow morning. I love you crazy girls. LORELAI: Bye! BABETTE: Bye! (Babette leaves.) LORELAI: Wow. I can't believe how fast you jumped at the chance to spend a night away from me. RORY: You're crazy. I'm doing her a favor. LORELAI: Mm-hm, mm-hm. Sure you are. RORY: Mom! LORELAI: No, no, that's OK. Don't you worry about me. I'll be just fine. RORY: I'd like to debate you on that last subject but I'm late for the bus. LORELAI: You know, this is only like the second night we've ever spent apart. Doesn't that make you sad? RORY: Yeah, but I'll get over it. LORELAI: Uh-huh. Well, Paul and Linda McCartney only spent eleven nights apart their entire relationship. Did you know that? RORY: I did not know that. LORELAI: Well they were truly devoted to each other. Just the being apart was too painful to even talk about. RORY: I understand. LORELAI: I don't think that Linda would have even considered cat-sitting without Paul. RORY: You know, Mom, when I go off to college, I'm gonna be gone every night. What will you do then? LORELAI: Well, I will go with you. I will sleep on the floor in your dorm, next to your bed. RORY: Well at least you've got a plan. LORELAI: Yes. Um, perhaps you'd like to take a picture of me with you tonight, you know, just in case you get lonely, you can talk to it. RORY: Bye. (Cut to a man leaning against a streelight while singing. Dean is waiting for Rory's bus.) DEAN: Carry your bird, Miss? RORY: Hi! I didn't expect to see you here. DEAN: Just wanted to say hello. (He kisses her.) RORY: Hello. DEAN: Hello. (They kiss again.) RORY: Hello. DEAN: So...who's your friend? RORY: Homework. DEAN: Really? RORY: We will be cohabitating for the next month so I can examine its every move. Jealous? DEAN: I'll get over it. RORY: So -- hey -- I'm house-sitting tonight for Babette and I was thinking maybe if the right offer came along I might be up to some company. DEAN: Well I'm offering. RORY: I'm accepting. DEAN: Good. RORY: You want to get some coffee? DEAN: I can't. I have to get to work. RORY: I thought you go to work at five. DEAN: No, four on Thursdays. For some reason Thursday is always really busy. Lots of oppressed housewives shopping for their husbands' dinners. RORY: Wow. DEAN: What? RORY: That was a little pointed. DEAN: What are you talking about? RORY: That crack about the housewives shopping for their husbands' dinners. DEAN: Come on -- it was a joke. RORY: Yeah, well, it was a pretty weird joke to hear coming out of your mouth. DEAN: You are so sensitive about the whole Donna Reed thing. RORY: I'm not sensitive about it. I just find it ridiculous. DEAN: Why? RORY: What do you mean why? DEAN: Well, so she cooked a lot. RORY: A lot? She made homemade doughnuts, chocolate cake, a lamp chop-mashed potato dinner, and enough stew to feed Cambodia all in one episode. DEAN: So what? RORY: You really like that concept, don't you? DEAN: No, I -- well, yeah, sort of. RORY: Oh my God. DEAN: I mean, it's a little over the top but the general idea of a wife cooking dinner for her husband and family, that's nice. Why is that not nice? RORY: It's not just that. It's the having to have the dinner on the table as soon as the husband gets home and having to look perfect to do housework and the whole concept that her one point in life is to serve somebody else. DEAN: Fine, yes, but maybe there are two points of view here. RORY: I don't think so. DEAN: Well you just feel that way becasue your mother feels that way. RORY: Oh -- what -- so I have no opinions of my own? DEAN: I didn't mean that. RORY: Well if I have no opinions of my own then I guess I'd be just the kind of girl you like. DEAN: Rory, my mom used to make dinner for my dad every day before she started working. And now she even does it on the weekends. So what does that say about her? RORY: It says that she has a choice and Donna Reed didn't. DEAN: You do realize that Donna Reed wasn't real, don't you? RORY: Yes, I know she wasn't real, but she represented millions of women that were real and did have to dress like that and act like that. DEAN: Please tell me how we got into an argument about The Donna Reed Show. RORY: I don't know. (Dean sighs.) DEAN: OK, look, I got to go to work. (Dean starts to walk away.) RORY: Dean. DEAN: What? RORY: Bird? DEAN: Oh. (Dean gives Rory back her chick.) (Cut to Lorelai sitting at the kitchen table cutting out pictures from magazines. Rory enters the house.) RORY: Hey. LORELAI: Hey, good. I was just about to leave. RORY: Where are you going? LORELAI: To Luke's. We're picking out paint colors tonight so it's going to be hours of "yes," "no," "yes," "no," "yes," "no," until my world-famous perseverence wears him down and he winds up in a ball on the floor crying like a girl. Wanna come watch? RORY: I'm house-sitting tonight, remember? LORELAI: Yeah, but you have to eat. Come have a quick burger. RORY: No thanks. (Rory sets the bird cage down in front of Lorelai.) LORELAI: Oh! What is that? RORY: It's for school. LORELAI: Oh, he's so cute! What's his name? RORY: Case Study Number Twelve. LORELAI: Is it hyphenated? Honey, he's adorable. He should have a name. RORY: I'm not bonding with my midterm, thank you. LORELAI: Alright, I'll name him. (to chick) Hi! Your name is Stanley. Hi, Stanley. RORY: It's a girl. LORELAI: Oh. (to chick) Sorry about the Stanley thing. Your name is Stella. (to Rory) Stella's nice and Stella was married to Stanley. RORY: Call it whatever you want. LORELAI: You're grumpy. What happened? RORY: Nothing, just a long day. LORELAI: You know what the remedy for a long day is? A ringside seat while Luke envisions strangling me with his baseball cap. RORY: I'm gonna leave the chick here for the night so the kitten doesn't get any fancy ideas. LORELAI: OK. RORY: She's already been fed and if she gets too loud just put her in my room. I'll call you later. LORELAI: OK. Hey...are you OK? RORY: Yeah. Just a bad afternoon. I'll fix it. LORELAI: OK. Call me if you need a wrench or something. RORY: I will. (Rory leaves.) LORELAI: (to chick) Stella. (Cut to Luke's.) LORELAI: Now, this is another way to go. Sort of a French bistro kind of look. LUKE: This isn't a French bistro LORELAI: Really? Huh. It's amazing the things you learn when you bother to listen. LUKE: Which you usually don't. LORELAI: Yes, but then I don't have a lot of useless information intruding in my brain. LUKE: Thank God. LORELAI: Now, if you wanted to do more warm, golden Tuscan countryside -- LUKE: Then I'd go to Italy. (to customer) Here, I'll wrap this up. LORELAI: We could also go with a pastely English country garden theme. Oh, maybe we could add a little stenciling on the ceiling. LUKE: No stencling! LORELAI: Excuse me -- do you even know what stenciling is? LUKE: Does Martha Stewart do it? LORELAI: Yes. LUKE: (firmly) No stenciling. (Taylor and Kirk come in.) TAYLOR: Ask him. KIRK: I will. TAYLOR: Well, go on. KIRK: Don't push. Hello, Luke. LUKE: What do you want, Kirk? KIRK: Taylor here tells me that you're thinking of painting this place. LORELAI: That's right, he is. TAYLOR: Ha! KIRK: Excuse me, I'd like to hear it from him. Luke, is--is it true? LUKE: Yes, Kirk, it is true. KIRK: Really? LUKE: Yes. KIRK: And that's your final decision? LUKE: I'm afraid it is. KIRK: Because it's not too late to -- TAYLOR: You heard him! He's painting this place. Pay up. (Kirk hands Taylor some money and heads for the door.) TAYLOR: Thank you. LUKE: Sorry, man. KIRK: It's a little too late for that, don't you think? (Taylor follows Kirk out, stopping to look at Lorelai's paint samples.) TAYLOR: Ooh, I like this. (Taylor leaves. Luke rolls his eyes.) LORELAI: OK, I get it. (Cut to Babette's. Rory is putting Apricot's food into a dish. Apricot meows.) RORY: Hold on. There you go. Meow if you need anything else. (Rory leaves Apricot with her food and and tries to study but can't concentrate. She goes the the phone and dials.) RORY: Hi, is Dean in? This is Rory. (pause) Oh. Well, will you tell him I called? (pause) OK, thanks. (Cut to Luke's) LORELAI: You ready to talk paint? LUKE: No. LORELAI: Good. I've got all the choices set up and while any one of them would work, I think this combo is currently my favorite. LUKE: Huh. LORELAI: See? Imagine. This will be for the walls and this will be for the trim -- the, like, edging around the doors and the windows. LUKE: I know what the trim is. LORELAI: OK. The colors are actually quite similar to what you have here now, but they're just a little richer, a little warmer. What do you think? LUKE: Well. LORELAI: Wait, wait, wait. (Lorelai goes to dim the lights.) LORELAI: A little ambiance. LUKE: This is a diner. We don't do ambiance. LORELAI: All right. One argument at a time. So what do you think? LUKE: Honestly? LORELAI: Yep. LUKE: I have no idea. You like it? LORELAI: Yeah. LUKE: OK. LORELAI: Good. (Andrew bursts in with a camera and starts taking pictures.) LUKE: What are you doing? ANDREW: Oh -- um, the town council wanted to do a before and after poster. LUKE: Out! ANDREW: Bye. (Luke flips the sign to "Closed" and locks the door.) LUKE: That's it. We're closed for the night. LORELAI: You know, listen -- since you have to take everything off the walls to decide what stuff you're going to keep and what stuff you're to get rid of. LUKE: Everything stays. LORELAI: OK, there's a plastic dancing pork chop that says -- LUKE: Everything stays. LORELAI: "I lost my head over a good chop. You should too." LUKE: Everything stays. LORELAI: Ok. Everything stays. LUKE: You know, this place hasn't been painted since my dad was alive. LORELAI: No, I didn't know that. LUKE: He painted it before he opened it and once more when the roof caved in one winter. I think that's probably it. LORELAI: The paint lasted a long time. He got his money's worth. LUKE: Yep. He really loved this place, you know. This store was his life. Mine too, I guess. I spent every minute I wasn't in school here. I spent a lot of minutes I was supposed to be in school in here too. LORELAI: How come you opened a diner? Why didn't you keep it a hardware store? LUKE: I don't know. I didn't love the hardware business the way my dad did, and, you know, I knew how to cook, so I just thought a diner would be more...fun. LORELAI: (laughing) That's a hard word for you to say. LUKE: (laughs) Yeah. I just always wanted to work here. Just where Dad did. LORELAI: God that's nice. To be so -- I don't know -- connected to your dad. That's -- I would have loved that. LUKE: Well you've got that with Rory. LORELAI: Yeah...I guess so. LUKE: You know, I still think there's a spot on the wall somewhere where my dad took an order one day when he ran out of paper. LORELAI: Really? Where? LUKE: I don't know. Behind the counter maybe. (Lorelai goes behind the counter.) LUKE: Next to the door. On the right side. (Lorelai sits on the floor. Luke joins her.) LORELAI: Oh. Huh. Here it is: "Three hammers, Phillips-head screwdrivers --" LUKE: "and three boxes of nails in assorted sizes." LORELAI: Oh. LUKE: I've seen it from time to time. (They laugh.) LUKE: Yeah, well, I guess it is time for a little spruce. LORELAI: Yeah, it is. But let's not spruce this particular spot. LUKE: That sounds good. LORELAI: OK. (They look at each other then hear voices outside. Luke starts to get up.) LUKE: Oh, jeez -- LORELAI: No, no, don't get up. LUKE: But if I don't get up -- LORELAI: They'll go away. They'll go away, trust me. Shh. (Taylor rattles the doorknow and knocks on the window.) TAYLOR: What are they doing? They should be in there. Just imagine it all in pastels. The whole thing. (When they can't see anything, the crowd leaves.) LUKE: Thank you. LORELAI: You're welcome: (whispers) I should go. LUKE: OK. LORELAI: Ah, so. It's going to be great. LUKE: Oh, I'm sure it is. LORELAI: See ya. LUKE: See ya. (Lorelai leaves.) (Cut to Lane's room.) RORY: Lane? LANE: Yo. RORY: Hey how's it going? LANE: Very well. I have discovered that in addition to my lameness in geometry I also will not become a biologist, French translator, or Civil wr buff. RORY: Well I guess that just leaves bass player for the Foo Fighters. LANE: I also wouldn't rule out keyboardist in the Siouxsie and the Banshees reunion tour. RORY: I like that you keep an open mind. LANE: So what's up? RORY: I need to borrow a CD. LANE: Which one? RORY: The weird one. LANE: I need more information. RORY: I don't know which one it is but I'd know it if I saw it. LANE: OK, well let's have a look. (Lane pulls up various floorboards to reveal hidden CDs.) LANE: We have classic rock, progressive rock, pretty boy rock -- RORY: Excuse me? LANE: Bon Jovi, Duran Duran, The Wallflowers, Bush. RORY: Got it. Next? LANE: Punk, New Wave, German metal bands. Broadway soundtracks. RORY: Interesting filing systerm. LANE: Anything yet? RORY: Nope, sorry. LANE: OK, well over there we have jazz, jazz vocals, classical, country, rockabilly, Sinatra -- The Capitol Years. Oh wait! The miscellaneous section. RORY: Hey, that sounds right. William Shatner. Is this the one where he sings Tambourine Man? LANE: And Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. RORY: Remind me to get this for my mom for her birthday. Oh wait. Hey, that's it. Can I? LANE: Take it. RORY: Thanks. LANE: So what are you doing? RORY: Um, I'm not completely sure yet. LANE: OK. Well I want details. (Cut to Lorelai getting home. She looks in the chick's cage -- it's empty.) LORELAI: (yelling) Stella! (Lorelai starts looking all over the house for Stella.) LORELAI: Oh, no. No, no. OK. Stella, do something. Show yourself. Molt or chirp or something. Oh this is so not funny. Not funny, not funny. Oh this is so unbelivable. All day long, just chirps like a maniac at the top of her lungs. Now, nothing. Silence. Marcel Marceau chicken. OK, that's OK. I can fix this. We can fix this. (Lorelai goes to the phone.) LORELAI: I'm going to make this better. I'm going to fix -- LORELAI: Hello? LUKE: Yeah. LORELAI: Luke? Stella got out and I don't know -- do I put seed on the floor? Do I make cheeping sounds? Or do I pull a Lucy Ricardo and walk like a chicken so she thinks I'm her mother? LUKE: Who the hell is this? LORELAI: What do you mean who is this? It's Lorelai. Who else would call you looking for her baby chick? LUKE: You're right. I'm the idiot. Go on. LORELAI: Could you come over here, please, and help me? LUKE: Uh, yeah, OK. I'll be right over. LORELAI: OK, hurry! (Luke knocks.) LORELAI: Thank God. Get in here. LUKE: This place is a disaster. What's going on? LORELAI: OK, the last sighting was here, by the InStyle magazine. But then she burrowed through the Glamour and jumped over the Cosmo and knocked over a brand new bottle of nail polish so all I can tell you is if there was any doubt that this chick was a girl, well, there isn't anymore. (Stella cheeps.) LORELAI: OK, there she is! LUKE: Jeez -- what was that? LORELAI: Stella! Stella! LUKE: You really do have a chick loose in here. LORELAI: Yeah, I told you I had a chick loose in here. There she goes by the kitchen! (They run after Stella.) LORELAI: Don't step on her! LUKE: She cut right in front of me. LORELAI: OK, well she's being graded so let's not squash her. LUKE: Well then tell her to watch where she's going. (Cut to Babette's house. The phone rings.) RORY: Hello? DEAN: Um, I wasn't sure if you still wanted me to come over. RORY: Oh, I do. I do, I absolutely do. DEAN: Are you sure? RORY: Yeah, I'm totally and completely -- You're teasing me. DEAN: Yeah, a little. But I did appreciate the enthusiasm. RORY: So how long until you get here? DEAN: Actually, not long at all. RORY: Why where are you? DEAN: Right outside. (Rory goes to the door and opens it. She's wearing a Donna Reed dress.) DEAN: Uh, what the -- RORY: Honey, you're home. RORY: Well, say something. DEAN: Trick or treat? RORY: What? You don't like it? DEAN: No, I do. It's -- uh -- it's got a large circumference. RORY: Thank you. Now come on in. It's cold outside. (They go inside.) DEAN: Oh my God. RORY: Here, let me take your coat. DEAN: Uh, thank you. RORY: You're welcome. DEAN: Interesting music. RORY: I'm glad you like it. DEAN: So what's that? RORY: Oh, just some appetizers before dinner. DEAN: Before dinner? RORY: Yeah. DEAN: Are we going out? RORY: No. DEAN: Ordering pizza? RORY: Nope. DEAN: So...? RORY: I made you dinner. DEAN: Excuse me? RORY: Steak, green beans, mashed potatoes -- DEAN: Wait, you made me dinner? RORY: That's right. DEAN: You made me dinner. RORY: And dessert. DEAN: OK, what is going on here? RORY: I'm sorry, I thought it was obvious. It's Donna Reed night. (Cut to Lorelai's.) LORELAI: I swear, she went over there. LUKE: We looked over there. LORELAI: Well, she went under that chair and she didn't come out. LUKE: We moved the chair, we searched the floor, nothing. LORELAI: Well then she went under the chair and through a hole in the floor. LUKE: There is no hole in the floor. LORELAI: Well maybe there was a hole in the floor and she crawled through it and fixed it. LUKE: So she's s super intelligent chick with great physical and deductive skills? LORELAI: Yes. LUKE: Oh, this is not a chick I want to find. LORELAI: Hey, Luke, what did you mean earlier? LUKE: What are you talking about? LORELAI: When you got here. You made some comment about me not really having a chick in the house. LUKE: Hmm. LORELAI: I mean, if I didn't have a chick here, why did you think I was calling? LUKE: No, I thought you were calling about the chick. LORELAI: It didn't seem like it. LUKE: Well maybe it didn't seem like it but it was. LORELAI: Was what? LUKE: Was what I thought -- can we just keep looking? LORELAI: OK. I just still think that -- LUKE: There she is. LORELAI: Where? LUKE: There! (Crash) LORELAI: Careful. (Cut to Babette's. Rory and Dean are eating dinner.) RORY: Well? DEAN: What can I say? RORY: You can say it's perfect. DEAN: It's perfect. RORY: Thank you. How is it really? DEAN: It's perfect. RORY: Yeah? DEAN: It's amazing. I mean, I've never had anyone make dinner for me before. Except my mom, and, believe me, it's not the same. RORY: I'm extremely glad to hear that. (Dean reaches for another helping.) RORY: Wait, wait, you want to save room for dessert, right? DEAN: Oh, that's right. So...what's for dessert? RORY: Lime Fantasy Supreme. DEAN: Which is? (Rory goes to the refrigerator.) RORY: Green Jell-o and Cool Whip! DEAN: You are insane. RORY: Oh, no, I forgot to make the rolls. DEAN: What? RORY: I was going to make rolls. DEAN: Well that's OK. RORY: I can't belive I forgot them. (Rory starts to open the rolls.) DEAN: What are you doing? RORY: I'll make 'em now. DEAN: Hold on, it's -- come on, we really don't need rolls. RORY: Donna Reed would have never forgotten the rolls. They're gonna make me turn in my pearls. (They kiss.) DEAN: I promise I'll kick anyone's butt who comes near those pearls. (They kiss again.) DEAN: Rory? RORY: Yes? DEAN: As amazing as this whole thing was, I mean, the music, the outfit, the dinner, I hope you know that I don't expect you to be Donna Reed. And I don't want you to be Donna Reed. That's not what I meant. This just totally got blown out of proportion. I'm actually pretty happy with you. RORY: I know and I appreciate that, but aside from this actually being fun, I did a little research on Donna Reed. DEAN: You did research on Donna Reed. RORY: Look. See, she did do the whole milk and cookies wholesome big skirt thing, but aside from that, she was an uncredited producer and director on her television show, which made her one of the first women television executives. Which is actually pretty impressive. DEAN: Well I'm glad this turned out to be such a positive experience for you. RORY: It has been. And even though I'll probably never get the feeling back in my left little toe, I'd do it again. DEAN: Yeah? RORY: Someday. But for now I'd better get these dishes cleaned up. DEAN: Oh, well, I'll help. RORY: Sorry, you're a man. You can't help for another fifteen years. DEAN: OK, well, then, as the man I will do what the man is supposed to do. RORY: Go bowling? DEAN: Take out the trash. (Cut to Lorelai's.) LORELAI: She's never going anywhere ever again. I'm thinking of slipping some super glue on the bottom of the cage. That would be bad, right? I mean, I know staples are bad but what's the verdict on super glue? LUKE: Ask Stella. (Luke is taking out the trash, including a broken lamp.) LORELAI: Oh, you don't have to do that. LUKE: This stuff is sharp. I want to get it out of the way. LORELAI: Well, thanks for helping. LUKE: No problem. I'm going to throw this stuff outside. (Luke goes outside just as Dean is stepping out Babette's door. On their way to the trash cans, they meet between the two house.) DEAN: Hey. LUKE: Hey. DEAN: What are you doing here? LUKE: What are you doing here? DEAN: You first. LUKE: I'm looking for a chick. DEAN: Yeah, me too. LUKE: You are not. DEAN: Well, neither are you. LORELAI: Hey, Luke, is there -- Dean. DEAN: Uh, Lorelai, hi. LORELAI: Fancy meeting you here. LUKE: Yeah. DEAN: Well, uh -- RORY: Hey, the Jell-o is doing this weird melting thing and I -- oh, Mom, Luke. LUKE: Rory. RORY: Hi. LORELAI: Uh, what the hell are you two doing? DEAN: Nothing. She, uh -- well we ate dinner. You know, steak and beans -- RORY: Canned. LORELAI: Canned. RORY: Not fresh. DEAN: No. LORELAI: No. DEAN: And potatoes. RORY: From a box. DEAN: But they were still good. RORY: Thank you. DEAN: You're welcome. RORY: So what were you guys doing? LORELAI: Oh. Uh -- In the house... LUKE: And then the lamp sorta -- I'm gonna get going. LORELAI: Yeah. LUKE: I'm sorry about this. LORELAI: Forget it. LUKE: OK. Bye. DEAN: Yeah, I probably better go too. Thanks for dinner. RORY: You're welcome. (Luke and Dean leave.) RORY: What? LORELAI: Well, OK, you're 16. You have a whole house to yourself for the evening. I expect that you're going to have your boyfriend over. But what is with the apron? RORY: It's a long story. LORELAI: Did it involve a sharp blow to the head? RORY: I gotta go check on Apricot. LORELAI: Oh my God! I just saw the pearls. RORY: I'm going in now. LORELAI: You know what? I'm going inside too. 'Cause I have to write down all the ways I'm gonna trture you about that outfit. RORY: Good night! (Rory goes inside.) LORELAI: Could I just get a picture though? 'Cause visual aids would really help. Oh, oh! Oh the shoes! I am dying. Oh. (Rory rushes back outside.) RORY: Mom! I can't find Apricot! LORELAI: What? No! RORY: She was on the couch when I came out, and now, nowhere. LORELAI: That's it! We are not animal people! Period. (Cut to the kitchen at the inn. Lorelai walks in.) MICHEL: It was a tiny little favor. SOOKIE: We have had this discussion before, Michel. MICHEL: You are being unreasonable. SOOKIE: I have my standards. MICHEL: But this is a simple request. SOOKIE: You are asking me to compromise my artistic and my culinary values. LORELAI: Michel wanted an egg white omelette. SOOKIE: Yes. LORELAI: Crazy man. MICHEL: Why? Why am I crazy man? I didn't have time for breakfast this morning, so very nicely I asked her to make me an egg white omelette cooked very dry with some tomatoes, mushroom, maybe a little chives, and she gives me this. LORELAI: What is this? SOOKIE: A three egg omelette with goat cheese cooked in a sherry olive oil. MICHEL: I don't eat dairy or meat. You know this. SOOKIE: I am a chef, Michel. It is my job to make food that tastes good. LORELAI: (eating the omelette) And you do sister! MICHEL: But I can't eat like that and look like her. (gestures to Lorelai) LORELAI: You don't know what you're missing. MICHEL: That will kll you. LORELAI: You gotta go someday. MICHEL: But someday all of this will catch up with you. You will become the balloon lady, and with any luck I will be here to enjoy it. (Michel stomps out.) LORELAI: But you make a good egg white omelette. SOOKIE: I know. LORELAI: Ah. Who wants to hear about my night? SOOKIE: Oh, me! LORELAI: Well, it started with Rory's baby chick getting loose in the house and ended with Rory and I up at one in the morning looking for Morey and Babette's new kitten, who we found asleep in the piano. SOOKIE: Wow, that's very Wild Kingdom of you. LORELAI: Yeah. I'm like the Marlin Perkins of Stars Hollow. SOOKIE: You want some coffe? LORELAI: Please. SOOKIE: So how's Rory's chick? LORELAI: Uh, better than my lemon lamp. SOOKIE: What's the matter with your lemon lamp? LORELAI: Luke klled it. SOOKI: On purpose? LORELAI: Well I can't prove it, but I will. SOOKIE: What was Luke doing there? LORELAI: Well I called him when I got home and Stella wasn't there. SOOKIE: Stella is the chick? LORELAI: Yes. SOOKIE: I like that name. LORELAI: 'Streetcar Named Desire'. SOOKIE: Vivian Leigh or Jessica Tandy? LORELAI: Hello -- Tandy. SOOKIE: Of course. Continue. LORELAI: So I evaluated the situation in my usual calm, collected manner -- SOOKIE: Hmm. LORELAI: And then I called Luke to help me track her down. SOOKIE: That's when he broke the lamp? LORELAI: Yeah, he's not very graceful. You know, he said the weirdest thing. SOOKIE: 'May I break your lamp?' LORELAI: Well he got there and I was looking for Stella and he said, 'Oh, you really do have a baby chick loose in the house,' like I made that up, or -- I don't know. SOOKIE: Well. LORELAI: Well what? SOOKIE: Well you call someone and you say, 'Can you come over and help me look for my loose chick?' It's a little... LORELAI: A little what? SOOKIE: It sounds a little like the code for, 'I'm not wearing any underwear.' LORELAI: That's not the code for 'I'm not wearing any underwear.' SOOKIE: OK. LORELAI: Sookie, you're not serious? SOOKIE: Look, the first time Jackson and I...you know. LORELAI: Yeah. SOOKIE: Yeah. I called him up and I told him I had a bat in my attic. LORELAI: Well, honey, you do have a bat in your attic. SOOKIE: So, he came over and went in the attic and he knew there was no bat and I knew there was no bat, but we pretended to look for it, and then when we couldn't find "the bat" we went downstairs and we had a bottle of wine.. LORELAI: So you're saying Luke thought I made up a crazy story about a chick being loose in the house just to get him in bed? SOOKIE: Not just to get him in bed, but maybe he thought you wanted to see him and you didn't know how to say it. LORELAI: That's nuts. SOOKIE A woman asking a man to come over late at night to her house. Come on. LORELAI: Yeah. But this is Luke we're talking about. SOOKIE: Uh-huh. Why did you call him? LORELAI: Because I needed help. SOOKIE: Yeah. Why didn't you call me? LORELAI: Because I assumed you would be with Jackson. SOOKIE: Uh-huh. LORELAI: Well I did. SOOKIE: Why didn't you call Rory? LORELAI: Because she would have been furious to find out that Stella was missing. SOOKEI: Why didn't you call Patty? She raises chickens. LORELAI: Sookie. SOOKIE: Or Andrew? He lives right around the corner, doesn't he? LORELAI: What is your point? SOOKIE: My point is that you called Luke. Out of all the people in town that you could have called that would have come over and dropped what they were doing, you called Luke. LORELAI: Because I had just been with him. We were picking out paint samples. He was on my mind. It was purely a timing thing. SOOKIE: Picking out samples. LORELAI: Yes. SOOKIE: For Luke's place. LORELAI: Yes. SOOKIE: So you could paint together. LORELAI: Once again, yes! SOOKIE: Mm-hmm. Which I believe was your idea. LORELAI: OK, so now the fact that I suggested painting Luke's diner also means that I wanted to get him in bed. All of a sudden I'm trying to get any poor, unsuspecting person in bed with me. I'm like -- I'm Michael Douglas! SOOKIE: Lorelai. This -- LORELAI: Just -- thanks for the omelette. SOOKIE: No, honey, I'm sorry. I don't want you to be mad. Don't be mad at me. LORELAI: I'm not mad, I'm not mad. I'm tired. SOOKIE: OK. You know, Luke is a really nice man. LORELAI: Bye, Sookie. (Cut to Emily and Richard's. Emily answers the door.) EMILY: Rory, Lorelai. LORELAI: Hey, we thought maybe the doorbell wasn't working. EMILY: Come in. LORELAI: We were ringing it and ringing it and nobody -- I guess we'll just come in. (Emily has gone back to the main room, where she and Richard are talking to a man on the speaker phone.) EMILY: And that would be the same as what we were paying for our old place? JOHN (on the phone): Exactly the same. RICHARD: Except for the grounds fees. JOHN: Well the grounds fees are higher. EMILY: But the grounds are larger, Richard. RICHARD: I'm just trying to get all the information, Emily. EMILY: All the information is that this is our last chance to go to Martha's Vineyard for the season. That's all the information. JOHN: Emily, Richard. RICHARD: I realize the position we are in, but this is a business transaction. EMILY: Oh for heaven's sake. JOHN: Richard, Emily RICHARD: As a business transaction, one in which money goes out and we receive certain goods and services -- EMILY: And he's patronizing me, how lovely. JOHN: Emily, Richard. RICHARD: I must treat this conversation with the same care and devotion to detail I would any conversation that would be considered a business transaction. Kindly allow me to do so. JOHN: Richard! Emily! Please! EMILY: Goodness, you startled me. JOHN: I'm sorry, I just wanted to say that I'm sure we could negotiate the grounds fee. RICHARD: Well, that will be fine. JOHN: Good. I'll get into this right now and I'll get back to you. EMILY: Thank you, John. RICHARD: Yes, we'll talk to you later. JOHN: Bye. EMILY: Careful, Richard. That canary you ate is going to spoil your dinner. LORELAI: What's going on? RICHARD: Oh, your mother and I have just secured a place on Martha's Vineyard. RORY: Really, that's great! LORELAI: I thought you lost your old place. EMILY: We did. But this afternoon we found out that Arthur Roundtree had died. RICHARD: He'd been drinking. EMILY: So we got on the phone and snatched that place up. RICHARD: Oh, it's a fine piece of property. EMILY: Much better than our usual place. LORELAI: The both of you are going directly to hell, I hope you know that. RICHARD: Well, at least we'll be well rested. LORELAI: Touche. EMILY: I am so thrilled about this. RICHARD: I'm glad. EMILY: The two of you must come up for the weekend. It is so lovely. Rory would just love it. RORY: Can we go for a weekend? LORELAI: We'll see how much Valium Auntie Sookie can lend Mommy, OK? EMILY: The only drawback of course, is that we had to rent the place furnished, and Arthur had dreadful taste. Remember the library, Richard? RICHARD: Pink and green! Horrible. Just horrible. LORELAI: Well he's dad now so he got his. EMILY: Lorelai, you're being morbid. LORELAI: I'm being morbid? RORY: New subject please! LORELAI: Joan and Melissa Rivers here think I'm being morbid. EMILY: Rory, what's new in your life? RORY: Nothing. Just school, homework. LORELAI: Aprons. RORY: Do not go there. EMILY: What does she mean, aprons? LORELAI: Nothing. I was just teasing her. EMILY: About aprons? LORELAI: Yeah. EMILY: I don't understand LORELAI: It's not important. EMILY: Then humor me. LORELAI: Nothing. Rory just dressed up in a cute apron the other day and so I was teasing her about it. RICHARD: Why did you get dressed up in an apron? LORELAI: (pause) Well. We've decided to give up on that pesky Harvard dream and focus on something more realistic. Mom, Dad, Rory's decided to become a maid, just like I was. Is that funny? Did she think that was funny? RICHARD: What would have posessed you to say such a thing? EMILY: And in front of Rory? LORELAI: I was kidding. EMILY: God. My heart stopped. LORELAI: Why don't you tell them about your bird? That seems like a safe subject. RICHARD: Your bird? RORY: Yeah, it's for school. Each of us have to follow a chick through its entire growth process. Everything has to be logged. Eating habits, sleeping habits. LORELAI: Houdini habits. RORY: She got out. LORELAI: She ran far. RORY: But she lived. LORELAI: She's a better bird for it. RORY: Thank God Luke found her. EMILY: Luke found her? LORELAI: What? EMILY: Rory said that Luke found her. LORELAI: Paying me back for the apron thing? RORY: Sorry. EMILY: Did the bird get loose at Luke's diner? LORELAI: No. EMILY: No? LORELAI: The bird got loose at home. EMILY: Your home? LORELAI: Yes. EMILY: Ah. RORY: So, Grandpa, when's your next trip? RICHARD: Ah, Madrid, the twelfth. RORY: Wow. RICHARD: I think there's a nice addition of cervantes in it for you. RORY: Gracias. EMILY: What was Luke doing at your house? LORELAI: Oh, look, there's no ice. I'll get some. EMILY: I asked you a question. LORELAI: He was helping me find the bird, Mom. EMILY: Really? LORELAI: Yes, really. EMILY: And how did he know that the bird was missing? What, was he strolling by your house and he heard your plaintive cries for help? LORELAI: Mom. EMILY: Or the helpless cheep of a chick in trouble? LORELAI: I called him, Mom. OK? I called him and asked him to come over and help me look for the bird. OK? EMILY: It seems like this man is always around when you're in trouble. LORELAI: He's a good friend. EMILY: Oh, please. LORELAI: Do we have to discuss this? EMILY Lorelai, I'm getting a little tired of being lied to. LORELAI: Apparently we do. EMILY: This man was at Rory's birthday party, he came to the hospital with you, he's the male lead in every story you tell, you go to the diner every single day. I've seen the way he looks at you, the way you look at him. I'm not a fool. LORELAI: Mom, please. EMILY: Why do you treat me like I don't have a clue in the world as to what is going on in your life? Now I'm asking you, as a favor, if you have any respect for me at all as your mother, just tell me. Do you have feelings for this man? LORELAI: I don't know. Maybe I do. I haven't given it much thought. Maybe I do. EMILY: Thank you. I'm glad you were finally honest with me. Now we can discuss what on earth you could possibly be thinking. Don't forget the ice. (Cut to a man playing a guitar and singing as he walks across the street.) LUKE: So, you're sure we need this many cans? LORELAI: Oh, yeah, you need enough for two coats and touchups and little spots. No, I'm not sure. LUKE: Well we got the paint and the brushes and the tarps and all the other stuff the paint guy said we'd need, so I guess we're ready. LORELAI: Yes we are. LUKE: The only thing left to do is figure out when. LORELAI: How about Friday? LUKE: Friday? LORELAI: Yeah, I mean, you don't want the stuff sitting around. I don't know if paint goes bad, but judging by the smell of it when it's fresh, rotten paint would be really gross. LUKE: Don't you have dinner with your folks on Friday? LORELAI: Well, yeah, but I can get out early for a special occasion. LUKE: Friday it is. LORELAI: Good. (Lorelai leaves Luke and walks down the street. Rory catches her.) RORY: Hey. LORELAI: Oh, hey, you! RORY: Jeez -- you think you got enough paint? LORELAI: I know, I tried to tell him. So, dinner, thoughts? RORY: Let's have some. LORELAI: How about Chinese? RORY: Sounds good. LORELAI: OK. I need to stop at the market and get some fruit. RORY: Why? LORELAI: I think I'm getting scurvy. RORY: Really? LORELAI: Yeah. Well that or a cold, but either way, I need some fruit. (As they get to the market, they hear a motorcycle and turn around to look.) TAYLOR: Damn motorcycles, they're a scourge. RORY: Yeah. LORELAI: Yeah. TAYLOR: They're loud, they're dangerous. We should ban them from town. LORELAI: Maybe we should set up barricades and ban all unwelcome strangers from crossing the border. TAYLOR: Well! Well, no we couldn't do that, that would be illegal. LORELAI: Darn laws. TAYLOR: Oh, got to get away from that noise. Taylor goes inside the market.) LORELAI: k*ll me and bury me with that bike. RORY: What is it? A Harley? LORELAI: That is a 2000 Indian, 80 horsepower, 5 speed close ratio Andrews transmission and I want to get one. RORY: No. LORELAI: Why not? RORY: You'd die. LORELAI: Oh, that. (The bike stops at the market.) CHRISTOHPER: Hey. LORELAI: Hi. CHRISTOPHER: Nice shirt. Take it off. (He takes off his helmet.) LORELAI: Christopher. RORY: Dad! (Rory runs to hug him.) CHRISTOPHER: Hey! RORY: This is great! What are you doing here? CHRISTOPHER: I'm here to see you. And your mom, who's not saying anything about as loud as a person can. LORELAI: Hello. CHRISTOPHER: A word. Maybe there's a phrase in my future. OK, why is that man staring at me? RORY: That's Taylor Doose. He owns the market. He knows all and sees all. LORELAI: So, what's with the just showing up, Mr. Spontaneity Guy? CHRISTOPHER: Well, my folks are back in Connecticut so I'm here to see them, and on the way I thought I'd stop by and surprise the Gilmore girls. Are you surprised? LORELAI: Oh, the teeniest feather could knock me in the gutter. CHRISTOPHER: So where would somebody find someplace to stay around here? RORY: Stay, really? You're staying? CHRISTOPHER: Thinking about it. RORY: Stay with us! LORELAI: Um, sweetie... CHRISTOPHER: I don't think your mom -- LORELAI: No, it's not that, I'm still surprised. RORY: Mom, please. LORELAI: Why don't you stay with us for a couple of days? CHRISTOPHER: Thanks, Lor. You won't even know I'm there. (to Rory) Hey, hop on. LORELAI: Hop off. CHRISTOPHER: Hop on. LORELAI: Hop off. CHRISTOPHER: Lorelai... LORELAI: (sighs) Hop on. (Rory gets on the back of Christopher's motorcycle and they ride down the street.) LORELAI: Christopher. The End	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x14 - That Damn Donna Reed"}	foreverdreaming
1.15 - Christopher Returns written by Daniel Palladino directed by Michael Katleman transcript by Vanessa CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE [Rory's putting blankets on the couch for Christopher] RORY: He looks good don't you think? LORELAI: He looks good. RORY: I like his hair shorter. LORELAI: Short is nice. RORY: Do you think he'll stay long? LORELAI: Wouldn't bet a lot of money on it. RORY: Maybe we can get him to stay for a couple of weeks. LORELAI: Absolutely - by weighting him down with blankets. RORY: I just want him to be comfortable. LORELAI: He's gonna come and go as he pleases babe, you know that. RORY: Yeah, I know. LORELAI: And no amount of bedding is gonna change that. RORY: Yeah, but he's never been to Stars Hollow before. LORELAI: I know. RORY: Well that means something's gotta be different right? LORELAI: Why don't you just enjoy the time you've got ok? RORY: [pause] Yeah, ok. I still think something is different though. CHRISTOPHER: [coming down the stairs] That is the worst shower I have ever had. Water pressure keeps changing every two seconds. I'm fixing it tomorrow. LORELAI: Hey you stay away from my shower. RORY: We ordered chinese food. It should be here any minute. CHRISTOPHER: Good, I'm starving. LORELAI: Here [handing him a cup of coffee] RORY: Hey, how's Diane? CHRISTOPHER: Uh, Diane is ancient history. RORY: When I met her at Easter you said she could be the one. CHRISTOPHER: The one to be gone by Memorial Day. RORY: You're worse than mom. LORELAI: Low blow. CHRISTOPHER: Can't keep a feller happy? LORELAI: Oh I keep them happy. I keep them very happy. RORY: Ok, now. Don't get gross. CHRISTOPHER: Yeah you're upsetting us. RORY: I'm gonna go study before the food gets here. CHRISTOPHER: What? Tomorrow's Saturday. RORY: I know, I like to get my weekend homework done and out of the way by Saturday night so then I can do extra-credit stuff on Sunday [leaves] LORELAI: Don't look at me. CHRISTOPHER: She's a great kid Lor. I wish I could say I see more of myself in her other than we have similar left ear lobes, but she's all you - chip off the old...perfect block. LORELAI: Why the hell are you here? CHRISTOPHER: Behold the queen of the subtle transition. LORELAI: Why are you here? CHRISTOPHER: You're gonna force me to lawyer up officer. LORELAI: Christopher. CHRISTOPHER: Ok look. I've been making some changes, especially my career and I think I finally have all my ducks lined up in a row. LORELAI: You're opening a sh*ting gallery. CHRISTOPHER: I've been tying up loose ends in my life. LORELAI: Do they make that much string? CHRISTOPHER: You know you've always had that verbal thing, quick mind - it's annoying. LORELAI: So you've been tying up loose ends. CHRISTOPHER: I don't know how much your dad has told you but I'm on the verge of kind of a big success, it's for real this time. I've got a company with an actual cash flow, I've got employees, I've got an accountant for God's sake. He wears a tie and says words like fiduciary' and ironically'. I mean it's for real this time Lor. LORELAI: I would love to believe it is. CHRISTOPHER: [sighs] Why does your dad have more faith in my than you. LORELAI: My father ht his head surfing Rincon a couple of years ago. His judgement's a little off. CHRISTOPHER: So you have zero faith? LORELAI: I've known you since I was six Chris. You're the guy that crashed his Porsche two hours after his parents gave it to him for his 16th birthday. CHRISTOPHER: And you were the girl in the Pinky Tuscadero t-shirt sitting right next to me. LORELAI: Horrified. CHRISTOPHER: Think again. LORELAI: Alright, having a blast then horrified. CHRISTOPHER: Just listen to me will you? LORELAI: I'm listening to you. Your life's back on track, I think that's great. And I appreciate you coming all the way out here, for the very first time might I add, to tell us that. CHRISTOPHER: I didn't come out here just to tell you that. LORELAI: No? CHRISTOPHER: [sighs] There's some things I need to do...to take care of. LORELAI: Like? CHRISTOPHER: I haven't been enough a part of Rory's life. So I wanna be around more, to be a pal she can depend on. I mean I'm not crazy, I know there's already a life going on here and God knows she doesn't need anyone besides you but...if you give me a chance... LORELAI: I've always had the door to Rory open for you. CHRISTOPHER: I know. LORELAI: You've hardly ever used it. CHRISTOPHER: Well I wanna use it now. Is that ok? LORELAI: Of course it is. CHRISTOPHER: Good. RORY:[coming into the living room] Hey, I forgot to ask you. Tomorrow morning I'm going to a softball game, do you wanna come? CHRISTOPHER: You...play softball? RORY: [laughing] Uh, no. LORELAI: [laughing] You? Play softball? Good one. CHRISTOPHER: Well ok, who's game is it? RORY: It's my friend Dean's. CHRISTOPHER: Dean? RORY: Yeah Dean. The game starts at 9:00. CHRISTOPHER: Uh, sure. It's a date. [Rory leaves. To Lorelai] She has a Dean? LORELAI: She has a Dean. CHRISTOPHER: How did this happen? LORELAI: Well a single-celled organism crawled out of primordial ooze and that pretty much lead to Dean. CHRISTOPHER: I need a beer. LORELAI: Hey. CHRISTOPHER: Yes dear? LORELAI: [chuckles] There's a lot more than an earlobe resemblance there. CHRISTOPHER: Good. Hey, thanks for the door thing. LORELAI: Thanks for wanting it. CUT TO SOFTBALL FIELD [Luke's pitching and Dean's in the on deck circle] DEAN: [to batter] You got it, you got the next one. Don't worry about it. [batter strikes out] CHRISTOPHER: So which is your Dean? RORY: That's him over there. LUKE: Ok, we've got two outs. RORY: And that's Luke. CHRISTOPHER: Luke's the diner guy? RORY: Yes. We eat there practically every day. LUKE: Looks like we got out number three coming to the plate guys. [as Rory and Chris sit in the bleachers in front of Kirk] DEAN: I'd send your boys a little farther into the field Luke. LUKE: Why? Will they have a better view of you whiffing? DEAN: You know, the only way I'm not hitting it, is if you don't have the strength to get it over the plate. KIRK: The truth of the matter is that you can't pitch [pointing to Luke] and you can't ht [point to Dean]. So this'll be a terrific match up. LUKE: Knock it off Kirk. KIRK: A historic lack of action. LUKE: Don't you have anything better to do with your Saturdays? KIRK: What can I say, I'm addicted to comedy. [to Rory and Chris] Half an hour they been playing and it's tied zero - zero. [louder] Hey if you ever take this show on the road I got a name for you, zero and zero. Dean Zero and Luke Zero - get it? LUKE: Doesn't even resemble clever. KIRK: I'm dumbing it down for you Alfalfa. CHRISTOPHER: How long do these games last? RORY: Till they get tired. And then they say the first team to get a run wins. KIRK: Yeah, it's real professional down there. Hey Luke, does your husband play softball too? LUKE: Alright that's it. [starts for the bleachers] KIRK: Um...I'm getting a page. I've gotta go. [jumps off the bleachers and starts running.] [Dean comes over to Rory] DEAN: Hey. RORY: Hey. Dean this is my dad. Dad, this is Dean. CHRISTOPHER: Dean. DEAN: Uh, nice to meet you. CHRISTOPHER: Same here. DEAN: So do you live in the area? CHRISTOPHER: No I had some time so I rode my bike out from Berkley. DEAN: Really? What do you got? RORY: [proudly] It's a 2000 Indian. DEAN: I got an '86 Suzuki. CHRISTOPHER: Nice! DEAN: Yeah. LUKE: Dean come on! DEAN: I gotta go. [to Rory] I'll see you later. [to Christopher] I was nice meeting you. [runs onto the field] CHRISTOPHER: So that was a Dean? RORY: That was a Dean? DEAN: [to Luke] Hey, uh, next run wins alright? LUKE: [sighs] Yeah alright. CUT TO INN KITCHEN [Michel and Sookie are laughing as Lorelai enters] LORELAI: Wow! SOOKIE: Wow what? LORELAI: Wow! I have never seen you two enjoy a pleasant moment together. SOOKIE: Oh come on. MICHEL: Oh you have seen us enjoy a pleasant moment! LORELAI: No, not ever. MICHEL: Oh you are being absurd. SOOKIE: You have to admit, they are few and far between. MICHEL: Through not fault of mine. LORELAI: I'm just saying, it's refreshing you know? It's not the usual Grr' that's all. SOOKIE: Through no fault of yours? I'm sorry, but you're the one that's so...I don't know. MICHEL: Oh I think you do otherwise you wouldn't have started saying it. SOOKIE: Just yourself - caustic. MICHEL: You mean obnoxious. SOOKIE: You're words not mine. MICHEL: Go to hell [leaves] LORELAI: Oh no, I'm just saying it's refreshing to see you two just - oh yeah. SOOKIE: You - get in here and tell me the happenings at home. LORELAI: I'm assuming you mean did we get our toaster fixed' and no, it's been cold pop-tarts for a week, it's like a damn Dicken's novel. SOOKIE: I'm not talking about the toaster, I'm talking about the man. LORELAI: Ah. SOOKIE: So what's it like having him around the house all the time? LORELAI: Well it's, um, a little weird. We have fewer clean towels than usual. SOOKIE: Come on give me something. Tell me how you feel, I'm dying here. LORELAI: Honestly, I've been trying to figure out how this makes me feel since he asked me to take off my shirt the other day. SOOKIE: Excuse me? LORELAI: No, it was a - kind of a hello' kind of thing. SOOKIE: Wow. He's smooth. LORELAI: Yeah. I mean I have not seen this man since last Christmas right. We hear from him maybe once a week - maybe. And then all of a sudden he's here in my town and Rory's running around all excited and he's sleeping on the couch and I'm thinking should I be mad, should I send him to a hotel' but then he smiles and it's...Christopher. SOOKIE: Here. [handing her a biscotti] LORELAI: I mean not matter how many years go by, no matter how long I don't see him for, whenever I do, it's always...Christopher. What do I do with this? [holding up biscotti] SOOKIE: Dunk. Go on. LORELAI: [sighs] This man knows all my secrets. All of my bad girl moments happened with him - my worst fashion choices, my big hair days, the wearing of the Bonnie-Bell lipsmackers around my neck - it was all with Christopher. SOOKIE: So do you think you two will - LORELAI: No. SOOKIE: Oh well that's convincing. LORELAI: I don't know I - he wants to be involved with Rory. He wants to spend more time with her, be a pal. SOOKIE: It's about time. LORELAI: Yeah that's good. SOOKIE: Yes. LORELAI: Yeah - if it's true. SOOKIE: And if it's not? LORELAI: Then it's [sighs] Christopher. CUT TO STREET [Rory's showing Christopher around town] RORY: This is the town flower shop. Um, over there is a good pizza place. That's the stationary store and that's Al's Pancake world. CHRISTOPHER: Good pancakes? RORY: Oh he doesn't serve pancakes. CHRISTOPHER: Ok. RORY: He switched to international cuisine a couple of years ago, and dropped the pancakes. He would've changed the name but he had already printed like a million napkins with the original name so he just kept it. CHRISTOPHER: What kind of international cuisine? RORY: He kind of hops around. Last month it was his salute to Paraguay. CHRISTOPHER: Anyone salute back? RORY: Not really. MISS PATTY: Rory! Honey! How are you sweetie? RORY: Great. Miss Patty, this is my dad, Christopher. MISS PATTY: Your dad. CHRISTOPHER: Nice to meet you. MISS PATTY: You're Rory's father, well, well, well. You know Christopher, we're all like Rory's parents around here and I'm one of her mothers. And since you're her father, well that would make us...a couple. [laughing] A couple of what I don't know. RORY: Ok, well we've got to be going. MISS PATTY: Yes well, come back and see me. CHRISTOPHER: I will. MISS PATTY: [laughing] Bye. [As Rory and Chris cross the street she takes out her cell phone and dials] [As Rory and Chris pass the market] TAYLOR: Well you must be Rory's father. CHRISTOPHER: Uh, yes I am. TAYLOR: Taylor Doose, grocer to Stars Hollow. CHRISTOPHER: Very nice to meet you. [they keep walking. To Rory] News travels fast around here. RORY: Yes it does. [behind them you see Taylor dialing.] CHRISTOPHER: Bookstore. Good. Come on.[they enter. Jackson and Andrew are there] JACKSON: Hey, hey Christopher! Jackson Melville. CHRISTOPHER: Hello. JACKSON: Boy I gotta tell you, did they get your description wrong. CHRISTOPHER: Really? JACKSON: Oh yeah, much more George Clooney than Brad Pitt. Hey Andrew. ANDREW: Yup. JACKSON: Don't you thin he's much more George Clooney than Brad Pitt? ANDREW: I'm going with the Billy Crudup comparison myself. JACKSON: Really? ANDREW: Oh yeah. JACKSON: I don't see it. Well maybe from the side. Hey do you mind? [Jackson grabs him and turns him from one side profile to the other] CHRISTOPHER: What? Uh, no, not at all. JACKSON: Well there's a little Crudup in there. Huh, well it's nice to meet you, whoever you look like. CHRISTOPHER: Nice to meet you. [tugs at Rory as they go down an aisle] Ok, I'm kidnapping you and getting you out of here. RORY: They all mean well. CHRISTOPHER: Yeah, I'm sure all lunatics have the best intentions. Ok, so I hear you like books. RORY: Why yes I do. CHRISTOPHER: Well I would like you to pick something out and let my buy it for you. RORY: Dad you don't have to buy me anything. CHRISTOPHER: Come on, what's the book of your dreams right now? RORY: Well that would definitely be the Compact Oxford English Dictionary, but dad - CHRISTOPHER: Excuse me - one Compact Oxford English Dictionary please. ANDREW: Ok. RORY: Dad no, it costs a fortune. CHRISTOPHER: You need something to remember this visit by. ANDREW [bringing a very large and heavy book] Here you go. CHRISTOPHER: Holy mother. This is the monolith from 2001. RORY: It has every word ever recorded in the English language plus origins and earliest usage. CHRISTOPHER: You sure you wouldn't rather have a car, they weigh about the same. Here you go. [handing over a credit card] RORY: This is so nice of you. CHRISTOPHER: Yeah, well I've got a lot of things to make up for. RORY: No you don't. CHRISTOPHER: Yes I do. ANDREW: [whispering] Uh, I'm sorry Christopher, your credit card has been rejected. CHRISTOPHER: Rejected? What are you talking about? ANDREW: I could run it through again if you'd like. RORY: Yes. CHRISTOPHER: Uh, no. He doesn't need to run it throug hagain. RORY: Oh, ok. CHRISTOPHER: Could you maybe hold that for us? I'll come back tomorrow with another card. ANDREW: Sure Chris, no problem. CHRISTOPHER: Thanks. Come on. [they leave the bookstore. Outside] Now you'll really remember me. RORY: I didn't want it that much anyways. CHRISTOPHER: Hey, listen, don't tell your mom about this ok? RORY: Ok. JACKSON: [standing with his back to them talking to a group of people] Yes it is her real dad. He seems very nice. Kind of a folky, poppy, urban, scruffy look to him. And obviously there's some money mixed in there because he's got that you know, money nose. And - [someone clears their throat. Jackson turns around and see Rory and Chris standing there. He touches his touque and runs off. ] CUT TO LUKE'S [Lorelai sitting at a table] LUKE: So Rory was at the game today. LORELAI: Oh yeah. LUKE: Yeah she was with some guy. LORELAI: Dean. LUKE: No, I know that punk. Some older guy. LORELAI: Oh, that would've been her dad. LUKE: Really? So that's uh... LORELAI: The guy who impregnated me with Rory - yes. LUKE: Oh, well, he did a good job. LORELAI: Impregnating me with Rory? LUKE: Now this has taken a very weird turn. LORELAI: Yeah. [Rory and Chris enter] RORY: Hi. LORELAI: Oh hi, where were you? [as she kisses Rory] CHRISTOPHER: Well we saw Al's Paraguayan pancake house, we were stalked by several towns people and apparently I look like Billy Crudup. LORELAI: You do not. CHRISTOPHER: Take it up with Jackson. [phone rings] LORELAI: Ah, ah, ah, ah,. Hey, hey, hey, hey. [points to the no cell phone sign] CHRISTOPHER: Hello? Emily! LORELAI: Emily? CHRISTOPHER: [whispers] It's your mother. RORY: Hi Grandma! CHRISTOPHER: Uh-huh [pause] Well actually I'm sitting here with your girls. [pause] Sure. [to Lorelai, handing her the phone] She wants to speak to you. LORELAI: Mm. Hi mom. GRANDMA: Lorelai, Christopher's in town! LORELAI: [gasps] What?! I didn't know! Although coincidently I'm sitting across an amazing Christopher hologram. GRANDMA: Well I had this wonderful idea. Christopher's parents are in town too. You remember Straub and Francine don't you? LORELAI: Ah yes - the Schnickelfritzes. GRANDMA: The who? LORELAI: The Hayden's. GRANDMA: Well I called them up and invited them to dinner. They said they are free to join us all on Friday night. LORELAI: Join us all? GRANDMA: Yes. You, Rory, Christopher, your father. LORELAI: That's quite a gathering mom. GRANDMA: Well I should say so. We haven't all been together since the two of you were children. And Straub and Francine haven't seen Rory since she was a baby. LORELAI: Yeah I know but - GRANDMA: It'll be like a wonderful reunion - all of us together again. I never thought it would happen. LORELAI: Yeah, me either. CUT TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE [The three of them standing in front of the door] LORELAI: [sighs] I've gotta see my parents. CHRISTOPHER: [sighs] I've gotta see my parents. RORY: Ladies and gentlemen, the drama king and queen of Connecticut. [They enter using a key] LORELAI: Hello? Anybody home? GRANDMA: Oh my God! You're here. Christopher, look at you! CHRISTOPHER: Emily, as always perfect. GRANDMA: I am so glad to see you, I didn't hear the doorbell. LORELAI: We didn't ring the doorbell. GRANDMA: You let yourselves in? LORELAI: It's ok mom, look, not a rpist among us. RORY: Hi Grandma. GRANDMA: You usually knock. LORELAI: Not since you gave us a key. GRANDMA: That is for emergencies. LORELAI: Well mom, I'm starving to death. Is that enough of an emergency for you? GRANDMA: Well, Richard's in the living room, come on in. He's dying to see you. LORELAI: [whispers to Chris] It's a setup giving me that key. It's a key, it meant to be used, it's my parents house. Shut up. CHRISTOPHER: Sorry. GRANDPA: Well here they are. RORY: Hi Grandpa. GRANDPA: Hello Rory. Lorelai. Christopher old boy how are you? My gosh it's good to see you! CHRISTOPHER: How are you Richard? GRANDPA: Well I'm better than most, not as good as some. CHRISTOPHER: And annoyed with all. GRANDPA: Aha! You speak the truth young man! I have made martini's. So Christopher, tell me about your business. GRANDMA: Oh Richard, let the poor boy relax. GRANDPA: Well I simply want to find out how it's going. CHRISTOPHER: It's uh - it's going great Richard. I'm almost afraid to jinx it by telling you good it's going. GRANDPA: Oh, that is wonderful. I always knew you had it in you. You have a splash of greatness as my mother would say. You've always had that splash of greatness. LORELAI: Mm. I'd like another splash of greatness if you don't mind.[getting another martini] GRANDMA: Oh Richard. Isn't Rory the spitting image of Christopher? GRANDPA: I just hope you inherit your father's business sense also my dear. GRANDMA: I know one thing for sure- you certainly have your father's musical talent. LORELAI: Oh, wait just a minute. GRANDMA: What? LORELAI: Mom, neither of these two have any musical talent. CHRISTOPHER: Hey, I play guitar. LORELAI: You know the opening lick to Smoke on the Water'. CHRISTOPHER: And I've since mastered the opening like to Jumping Jack Flash'. GRANDPA: I'm a...Chuck Berry man myself. [Lorelai laughs almost spitting out her drink] Something wrong? LORELAI: I would never have guessed that that last sentence would ever come out of your mouth. GRANDPA: And why not? LORELAI: Chuck Berry? GRANDPA: Yes, Chuck Berry. He was all the rage when I was in school. LORELAI: So we're talking pre-My-ding-aling'? GRANDPA: I believe I am. GRANDMA: Do you remember when you two were what - ten and you put on that adorable show for us. LORELAI: What show mom? CHRISTOPHER: Lucy, Schroeder, you laying on the coffee table. LORELAI: You pretending it was a piano. God, why is that remembered? GRANDMA: Because it was such a wonderful production. LORELAI: I don't know if it was a production mom. It was just one song. CHRISTOPHER: Suppertime'. GRANDMA: Did you write that? That was really very good. LORELAI: Dad, that's from You're a good man Charlie Brown' It's a famous musical. GRANDPA: Well I thought Christopher might have written it, he's a very talented man. [Doorbell] GRANDMA: That would be Straub and Francine. [leaves to answer the door] LORELAI: [whispers to Rory] Ha, ha your turn. GRANDPA: I haven't seen your parents in quite a number of years. We were practically inseparable for a while. [leaves] CHRISTOPHER: I remember that. RORY: This is weird. These are my other grandparents. I don't even know them. What do I call them? CHRISTOPHER: Call'em what I call'em - ass- LORELAI: Chris... CHRISTOPHER: Sorry, my tie's too tight. LORELAI: Just, uh, call them Straub and Francine. Call them Mr and Mrs Hayden. Sir and Ma'am? Why don't you just avoid calling them anything. GRANDPA: Look who's herre. CHRISTOPHER: Hello mother, pop. STRAUB: Christopher. FRANCINE: Christopher, hello. LORELAI: Mr and Mrs Hayden, long time no see. FRANCINE: Lorelai. You look well. LORELAI: I am thanks. You remember Rory. You haven't seen her in quite a while. STRAUB: No we haven't. FRANCINE: I think she was just beginning to speak in complete sentences. LORELAI: So not for two years then. [Hayden's look at her] She's obviously been talking a long time so I was making a humorous comment sometimes referred to as a joke'. STRAUB: I see you haven't changed Lorelai. LORELAI: No, not at all. FRANCINE: Rory, hello. RORY: Hi. [she curtsy's] LORELAI: [whispers] Did you just curtsy? RORY: [whispers] Shut up. LORELAI: [whispers] Sorry, milady. GRANDPA: Uh, Straub, Francine, how about a martini? STRAUB: Please. GRANDPA: Well Straub, how is retirement treating you? GRANDMA: Yes do tell us about the Bahamas. STRAUB: You can get an entire island there for the cost of a decent house here. GRANDPA: Really? STRAUB: How about you Richard, any thoughts of retirement crossing your mind? GRANDMA: Oh Straub, if only you could talk him into it. I've given up. GRANDPA: We're very pleased about Christopher's business success out in California. STRAUB: Yes, it's taken a while but it seems to be finally coming together. Seems to be. FRANCINE: Christopher your tie, please. RORY: [clears her throat]Straub and Fran - [clears her throat] Mr. and Mrs. um...are you enjoying your time here, um...you...two? CHRISTOPHER: [to Lorelai] That she got from you. STRAUB: How old are you young lady? RORY: 16. STRAUB: Dangerous age for girls [Lorelai looks at him] FRANCINE: Straub. GRANDMA: Rory is a very special child - excellent student, very bright. GRANDPA: You should have a talk with her Straub, she could give you a run for your money. STRAUB: Is that so? GRANDMA: That's right. [Straub looks at Rory, Rory looks uncomfortable unsure what to do] STRAUB: Well I think my money's safe. LORELAI: I hate president Bush. STRAUB: What? GRANDMA: Lorelai... CHRISTOPHER: Oh boy. LORELAI: He's stupid and his face is too tiny for his head and I just want to toss him out. STRAUB: That is the leader of our country young lady. GRANDPA: Ignore her. FRANCINE: His face is too tiny for his head, what kind of thing is that to say? STRAUB: I see your daughter is just as out of control as ever. CHRISTOPHER: Pop please. Let's try and keep it civil. STRAUB: Tell me Lorelai, what have you been doing with your life anyway, besides hating successful businessmen. I'm just curious. GRANDMA: Why don't we all go into the dining room? LORELAI: Well uh, Straub, I run an inn near Stars Hollow. STRAUB: Really? LORELAI: Yes really. CHRISTOPHER: Dad come on. STRAUB: Nice to see you found your calling. GRANDMA: Dinner is ready. FRANCINE: Christopher your tie. CHRISTOPHER: Mom please. STRAUB: And is your life everything you hoped it would be? LORELAI: Yes it is. STRAUB: Because it seems to me you might not want to take such a haughty tone when you announce to the world that you work in a hotel. LORELAI: Well there's nothing wrong with where I work. FRANCINE: Straub please. I'm getting a headache. GRANDMA: Come on Richard, lead us into the dining room, now. STRAUB: If you had attended a university as your parents had planned and as we planned in vain for Christopher, you might have aspired to something more than a blue collared position. CHRISTOPHER: Don't do this. STRAUB: And I wouldn't give a damn about you derailing your life if you hadn't swept my son along with you. LORELAI: [to Rory] Honey go into the next room. Go, go. GRANDPA: I'm going to have to echo Christopher's call for civility here. A mutual mistake was make many years ago by these two, but they have come a long way since. STRAUB: A mutual mistake Richard? This whole evening is ridiculous. We're supposed to sit here like one big happy family and pretend that the damage that was done is over, gone? I don't care about how good a student you say that girl is... LORELAI: Hey! STRAUB: Our son was bound for Princeton. Every Hayden male attended Princeton including myself, but it all stopped with Christopher. It's a humiliation we've had to live with every day, all because you seduced him into ruining his life. She had that baby and ended his future. GRANDPA: [grabbing Straub's arm] You recant that Straub! STRAUB: You're spilling my drink. GRANDPA: You owe my daughter an apology. STRAUB: An apology, that's rich. GRANDPA: How dare you?! [grabbing Straub] How dare you?! GRANDMA: Richard what are you doing? GRANDPA: How dare you come into my house and insult my daughter! STRAUB: Let go of me! CHRISTOPHER: Whoa, whoa, what is going on here? [putting himself between them] GRANDPA: Shame on you Straub, shame on you for opening all this up again. STRAUB: Get your purse Francine. GRANDPA: My daughter is very successful at what she does. STRAUB: We're leaving. GRANDPA: You're not leaving. I'm kicking you out. [All four leave the room. Lorelai and Christopher and standing in the middle] CHRISTOPHER: And you brought up Bush because? LORELAI: It seemed like a good idea at the time. Wow. CHRISTOPHER: Yeah. LORELAI: I feel...16. [Pan to study. Richard sitting reading. Lorelai enters] LORELAI: Dad? Dad...can I get you something to eat? GRANDPA: I'm not hungry. LORELAI: Ok. Well look, thank you. GRANDPA: Thank me? For what? [Lorelai turns back.] LORELAI: Well for what you did in there. I'm...I'm just unbelievably touched and grateful for what you said to him, for defending me like that. I know it was hard for you because, well...but thank you. [starts to leave] GRANDPA: Why do you think I did it? [Lorelai turns back.] LORELAI: What? GRANDPA: Why do you think I did it? LORELAI: I don't know. Um, out of protectiveness I guess. GRANDPA: You don't need to be protected Lorelai. You've made it very clear that you can look after yourself and that you need nothing from anyone. LORELAI: Mm. That's not... GRANDPA: A member of my family was being attcked. The very Gilmore name was being attcked. I will not stand for that not under any circumstances. LORELAI: Ok, well it doesn't really matter why you did it. GRANDPA: Yes it does matter why I did it! It matters greatly! Lorelai what are you going to take away from this? That everything that happened in the past is suddenly fine because I defended you? LORELAI: No. GRANDMA: That the hell that you put your mother and I through for the past 16 years is suddenly washed away? Well it's not. LORELAI: We've all been through hell dad. GRANDPA: I had to tell my friends, my colleagues, that my only daughter, the brightest in her class, was pregnant and was leaving school. LORELAI: That must have been devastating. GRANDPA: And then you run away and treat us like lepers. Your mother couldn't get out of bed for a month. Did you know that? Did you? LORELAI: No. GRANDPA: We did nothing to deserve that. Nothing to earn that! LORELAI: I get it. I'm horrible. So why don't you disown me and adopt Christopher, you love him. GRANDPA: Don't be a martyr Lorelai. And don't be naïve. Do you think I love the boy who got my daughter pregnant? I wanted to kll him! I would have too with my bare hands. But there's a proper procedure to be followed in a situation like this. LORELAI: Marriage. GRANDPA: Christopher was willing to follow the procedure we laid out, you weren't. LORELAI: What about what I wanted Dad? Didn't that matter to you at all? GRANDPA: Sometimes one has to sacrifice something in order to do what is right. LORELAI: I feel indescribably sad for you right now, dad. GRANDPA: Well save your emotions Lorelai. I've had my fill of them tonight. LORELAI: So, um, we just end it here. Nothing...resolved? GRANDPA: I'm tired. LORELAI: Ok. Ok [leaves] [Pan to kitchen] GRANDMA: There you are. I was wondering where you went. RORY: I'm sorry. GRANDMA: No, it's nothing to be sorry about. Can I get you something? RORY: [holding up a pop can] I'm fine. GRANDMA: Oh that's hardly dinner. Well that was quite a bit of excitement tonight. RORY: Oh yeah. GRANDMA: Not the good kind. RORY: Nope. GRANDMA: None of this means anything Rory. RORY: Oh I know. GRANDMA: Straub is actually a good man. Very smart. He was one of the top lawyers in his field - a very arcane aspect of International law. And he's always been so active in his community. His charity work has never diminished over the years. Oh let's face it - he's a big ass. [Rory laughs] Rory, I know you heard a lot of talk about various disappointments this evening and I know you've heard a lot of talk about it in the past. But I want to make this very clear - you, young lady, your person and your existance have never ever been - not even for a second -included in that list. Do you understand me? RORY: Yeah, I do. GRANDMA: Good now eat up. [hands her a plate of leftovers] [Pan to balcony outside Lorelai's old room. Lorelai sitting crying.] CHRISTOPHER: You look great [coming out onto the balcony.] LORELAI: Yeah, well, I look the way I feel wiseguy. CHRISTOPHER: That was...that was a memorable evening. LORELAI: Oh yes, it was beautiful in there. We should commemorate it with an oil painting or a severed head or something. CHRISTOPHER: Next time we get this group together we're gonna have to frisk for wapon. LORELAI: Hand out gags. CHRISTOPHER: Employ six individual cones of silence [Lorelai laughs] Boy the old balcony is still the same isn't it? LORELAI: In all it's beautiful away-from-them-ness. CHRISTOPHER: Perfect hide-out - totally private. We spent a lot of time out here. LORELAI: Sneaking dad's telescope, scanning the sky for alien ships. CHRISTOPHER: Never found any. LORELAI: Huh. And then when we were older, scanning the neighbors houses for naked people. CHRISTOPHER: [laughing] Found a couple of those. LORELAI: [laughing] Mrs. Dominski undulating in her big fat underalls is forever carved into my brain. CHRISTOPHER: [laughing] And in mine. [takes out a tequila bottle] here's to Mrs. Dominski's underalls. LORELAI: Aw, you're holding out on me. CHRISTOPHER: [takes a drink] Take it. And in an effort to further chronicle this balcony's history, we are now in the immediate vicinity of the spot upon which was Rory's initial eminations. LORELAI: Yes we are. Here's to Rory. [takes a drink] CHRISTOPHER: The bright spot in all the darkness. LORELAI: And now. CHRISTOPHER: You know even if you hadn't gotten pregnant and everything had gone as planned, I still never would have make it through Princeton. LORELAI: Oh I don't believe that. CHRISTOPHER: Yeah, well that's why you're you and I'm not. [Pan to Luke's where Luke is waiting for Lorelai. He gives up and goes inside. Pan back to the balcony where Christopher and Lorelai are kissing as they take off each other's clothes. Pan to them putting back on their clothes.] LORELAI: Wow. Wow, wow, wow. CHRISTOPHER: You wigged? LORELAI: Yeah, yeah I'm a little wigged. CHRISTOPHER: Why? LORELAI: Why? Are you kidding me? Chris this is the next to last thing I thought would ever happen tonight. The last thing being a holy saint guy riding down on a flaming chariot from heaven to announce Armageddon. CHRISTOPHER: And Hartford is the place he chooses to make his announcement? I don't think so. LORELAI: Christopher. CHRISTOPHER: Ok, yes, it was unexpected but it was great. LORELAI: Oh God! Oh I can't believe this. CHRISTOPHER: Ok fine. You know what? We should go. LORELAI: Yeah we should go like 30 minutes ago. CHRISTOPHER: [sighs] I'm sorry. LORELAI: Oh don't apologize. It was the both of us. [they leave] God my parents have got to seal these windows up I swear to God. CUT TO INSIDE CAR RORY: So where were you guys? LORELAI: Nowhere. RORY: Where's nowhere? CHRISTOPHER: Where we were. LORELAI: Mm-hmm. RORY: Ah. CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE CHRISTOPHER: Night you. RORY: Good night dad. [he gives her a kiss] CHRISTOPHER: Good night Lor. LORELAI: Good night, yeah, uh, have a really, really good night. [he heads for the couch] RORY: You got some dirt or some schmuts on your - LORELAI: Hmm? RORY: Where did you - LORELAI: I don't - it's been a long night so um, there's just been a lot of schmutsing going on. RORY: Ok. LORELAI: Come on [directing her to the kitchen] We haven't really had a chance to talk. RORY: About the schmutsing? LORELAI: [sighs] No, about all the warm and fuzzy family moments that went on tonight. Are you ok? RORY: Yeah. LORELAI: You know all those crazy people saying those horrible things were directing them at me not you. RORY: They were directing them to you because you had me. LORELAI: No, they were directing them at me because I screwed up their big Citizen Kane' plans. That's all. RORY: They don't even want to know me do they? LORELAI: That is not true. They are just so full of anger and stupid pride that stands in the way of them realizing how much they want to know you. RORY: Yeah. LORELAI: Their loss and it's a pretty big one. RORY: I'm going to bed now. LORELAI: Hey. No regrets - from me or your dad. RORY: Yeah? LORELAI: Oh, I mean no regrets about you. There's a misspelled tattoo incident that I'm sure he'd like to erase from his bio - but you that's a no brainer. RORY: Where does dad have a misspelled tattoo? LORELAI: Ah, ah, another story for another time, possibly before your first trip to Mazatlan. Good night babe. RORY: Good night mom. LORELAI: [walks by a mirror and looks at herself] Ugh. [Pan to morning. Lorelai awake in bed] LORELAI: [gasps] Oh no! Aah! CUT TO LUKE'S [Lorelai waiting in pj's on the front stoop] LORELAI: I feel horrible. LUKE: Don't. LORELAI: I stood you up and I didn't even call. LUKE: It's ok. LORELAI: I'm a rat. We had a date and I stood you up. LUKE: It wasn't a date, it was just a paint. LORELAI: I'm a rat, I need cheese. LUKE: Forget it. LORELAI: Hey, hey, let's reschedule. LUKE: You know, I really didn't even want to do it in the first place. LORELAI: No, no come on, don't change your mind. We could do it tonight or - or right now. LUKE: Was it an emergency? LORELAI: Yes. You would not believe what happened. I slipped and I busted my - it wasn't an emergency. It was just me being a rat. LUKE: Something came up? LORELAI: Yeah. LUKE: Something...someone. LORELAI: Luke. LUKE: Am I right? LORELAI: I'm sorry. LUKE: Yeah, ok. Well I'm late. LORELAI: Oh. CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE [Christopher making coffee as Lorelai comes in.] CHRISTOPHER: Where were you? LORELAI: Fruitlessly trying to rectify a ratty transgression. CHRISTOPHER: Oh. You want some coffee? LORELAI: No. CHRISTOPHER: What? LORELAI: What? CHRISTOPHER: Well I know you well enough to know that when you say no to coffee, especially in the morning, all is not right in Whoville. LORELAI: Very astute. CHRISTOPHER: So...last night. LORELAI: Ah, last night was Chernobyl and the Hindenburg combined. CHRISTOPHER: Right, just checking. LORELAI: My father almost ht someone. My father has probably only ht another man in college wearing boxing gloves and one of those Fred Mertz golden gloves pullover sweaters. CHRISTOPHER: Fred Mertz? LORELAI: I Love Lucy' - Fred Mertz. CHRISTOPHER: Landlord to Ricki, husband to Ethel, I know. It's just a weird reference. LORELAI: Hello, pajamas. CHRISTOPHER: Right. Continue. LORELAI: My father had a meltdown, first with your father... CHRISTOPHER: He was asking for it. LORELAI: ...and then with me. And then you and me - oh boy. CHRISTOPHER: Don't say it like that. LORELAI: Stupid. Dumb. CHRISTOPHER: Much better. LORELAI: And to top off the whole fabulous fiasco, I stood up a friend of mine, who was counting on me and, and he just stood there looking hurt with the paint and the chairs and it hurt me. And it's not your fault but in this parade of stupid and dumb, I am the one twirling the flaming baton. CHRISTOPHER: Lor? LORELAI: What? CHRISTOPHER: I want to marry you. LORELAI: And the hits just keep on coming. CHRISTOPHER: Just think about it. Think about it before you make a rash - LORELAI: You are out of your mind. You are completely insane. You have flipped your lid. Charlie Manson is freaked out by you right now! CHRISTOPHER: Come on, we're already a family. LORELAI: Who? Who is a family?! CHRISTOPHER: Us! You, me and Rory! LORELAI: You don't even know what a family is. CHRISTOPHER: It's people living together. LORELAI: No. It's a big commitment, it's responsibility, it's hard work. It's coming home at the same time to the same place every day. CHRISTOPHER: Ok, so what do you want, financial statements? I can be a family man, I'm responsible. LORELAI: Honey, you can't even buy a book without having your credit card declined. CHRISTOPHER: Oh man, I told Rory not to rat me out. I can't believe she did that. LORELAI: She didn't. Andrew from the bookstore called and Jackson and the UPS guy and ooh it was the lead story on the Stars Hollow web page. And then I asked Rory and she very reluctantly confirmed it. Rat me out' what are you - 16? CHRISTOPHER: I'm sorry. LORELAI: And what are you doing telling my daughter to lie to me anyway? CHRISTOPHER: She's my daughter too. LORELAI: More like your playmate. CHRISTOPHER: You know I don't deserve that, I'm as mature as you. LORELAI: What? The offspring is your favorite band. CHRISTOPHER: So? You're into Metallica. LORELAI: Well Metallica is way more substantial than The Offspring. CHRISTOPHER: Here we go, it's the same Black Sabbath riff all over again. LORELAI: Oh! The Offspring have like one chord compression. They use it over and over. They just popped on new words and called it a single and I don't want to talk about this anymore! CHRISTOPHER: Look, I'm the immature one, I'm the irresponsible one, I'm was the one who was willing to get married when you got pregnant. LORELAI: We were too young, we wouldn't have made it, you know that. CHRISTOPHER: Well we're not too young now. LORELAI: Ok. Now I need some coffee. CHRISTOPHER: What about last night. What did our having sex mean to you? LORELAI: [sighs] It meant that Jose Cuervo still has amazing magical powers. CHRISTOPHER: You're funny. LORELAI: We can't get married Christopher. We don't know each other as adults. CHRISTOPHER: So let's get married and get to know each other as adults. LORELAI: Well, that's very Fiddler on the Roof of you. CHRISTOPHER: Ok, fine. Let's get to know each other right now. What do you want to know? LORELAI: How is your business really doing? [Christopher sighs] CHRISTOPHER: Lorelai. LORELAI: I knew it. CHRISTOPHER: Look, I was going to tell you if it didn't pick up soon. I swear. LORELAI: And you just sat there last night, just smiling and nodding while my dad and your dad went on and on about Christopher and his great big business success in California. CHRISTOPHER: Yeah, I didn't want to upset anybody. I wanted last night to be nice. LORELAI: Oh well it was. CHRISTOPHER: Oh and it would have been much better if I had announced at the table Hey on top of everything else you're upset about, I just wanted to add that I'm the biggest loser in the world'. Would that have been festive? LORELAI: You're not a loser. CHRISTOPHER: Please. LORELAI: You're a liar but not a loser. CHRISTOPHER: Thank you. LORELAI: You're welcome. CHRISTOPHER: Come on ,we're arguing like an old married couple. Doesn't that show potential? LORELAI: Oh Christopher, I swear to God... CHRISTOPHER: I've been looking for the one Lor, that elusive soul mate - I really have, I just believe it's you, it's always been you. LORELAI: Chris come on. CHRISTOPHER: Rory might be my only child. LORELAI: That's not true. If Tony Randall can crank one out in his seventies you have decades left to spawn. CHRISTOPHER: No. I don't know how much I miss Rory until I see her like this. It's...it's easier staying away. LORELAI: No. Don't stay away. Don't. Rory needs her dad. CHRISTOPHER: Or her pal right? LORELAI: I think she'd take a combo. [Pan to outside house, Christopher loading up bike] RORY: So call us when you get home. CHRISTOPHER: I will. RORY: And call more. CHRISTOPHER: I will. [they hug] See ya. [ he whispers something in her ear] RORY: [to Lorelai] Dad wants to know if you'll reconsider. [Lorelai calls Rory over and whispers in her ear] RORY: She says Nope. Offspring sucks and Metallica rules.' CHRISTOPHER: Fair enough. [He kisses and hugs Lorelai] LORELAI: Drive safe. [He leaves] RORY: He wanted you to marry him didn't he? LORELAI: Spy. RORY: You know crazier things have happened. LORELAI: You mean crazier than having your mom and dad married? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: I don't think they have. RORY: What? Why is that so crazy? LORELAI: Because it is. Because he wants things he is not ready for. RORY: How do you know? LORELAI: I know. I know him so well. You have no idea. RORY: Maybe he can change. LORELAI: Rory. RORY: Maybe it's different. He did come here this time, he's never done that before. LORELAI: Hey, stop. RORY: Why? LORELAI: Because I don't want you to get yourself all worked up over this. RORY: He loves you. LORELAI: He does love me. RORY: Do you love him? LORELAI: Honey come on. RORY: Answer me. LORELAI: Honestly? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: I will probably always love him. RORY: Ok so? LORELAI: But that doesn't change the fact that he still has a long way to go before he is ready to take us on full time. I mean you are a handful missy. And while I am pure joy and sunshine every waking hour, I still have my own set of needs that - that must be met. It just wasn't right babe. You have to trust me on that. Mm? Talk please. RORY: I still think there was a little something different. LORELAI: Maybe you're right. RORY: Really? LORELAI: It would be nice. RORY: Yeah it would LORELAI: I'll tell you what, uh, let's not put all the blankets away just yet. RORY: Really? LORELAI: You never know. CUT TO LUKE'S LUKE: What the - LORELAI: Taa-daa! LUKE: How'd you get in here? LORELAI: You're bread guy let me in. LUKE: I'm switching bread guys. LORELAI: What do you think? LUKE: I think you shouldn't break and enter. LORELAI: So what do you think? LUKE: Well I gotta admit - it looks pretty good. LORELAI: Oh, I knew you'd like it. LUKE: Thanks. LORELAI: Anytime. It's fun. LUKE: So, uh, where's the guy? LORELAI: Oh he's gone. LUKE: Oh, too bad. LORELAI: We'll be fine. Luke? LUKE: Yeah? LORELAI: Um, can I make one more suggestion? LUKE: No. LORELAI: Curtains? LUKE: No. LORELAI: Manly curtains. LUKE: Oxymoron. LORELAI: What did you call me? LUKE: No curtains. LORELAI: Aw come on. You gotta give a little. How about a tablecloth? LUKE: No. We don't do table cloths here.	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x15 - Christopher Returns"}	foreverdreaming
1.16 - Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers teleplay by John Stephens and Linda Loiselle Guzik story by Joan Binder Weiss directed by Lesli Linka Glatter transcript by Stacy OPEN IN STARS HOLLOW (Miss Patty narrates a story in the background as the camera pans around town as locals prepare for a festival.) MISS PATTY: This, boys and girls, is the story of true love. A beautiful girl from one county; a handsome boy from another. They meet and they fall in love. Separated by distance and by parents who did not approve of the union, the young couple dreamed of a day that they could be together. They wrote each other beautiful letters. Letters of longing and passion. Letters full of promises and plans for the future. Soon the separation proved too much for either one of them to bear. So, one night, cold and black with no light to guide them, they both snuck out of their homes and ran away as fast as they could. It was so dark out that they were both soon lost and it seemed as if they would never find each other. Finally, the girl dropped to her knees, tears streaming down her lovely face. 'Oh, my love. Where are you? How will I find you?' Suddenly, a band of stars appeared in the sky. These stars shone so brightly they lit up the entire countryside. The girl jumped to her feet and followed the path of the stars until finally she found herself standing right where the town gazebo is today. And there waiting for her was her one true love, who had also been led here by the blanket of friendly stars. [Camera stops on Miss Patty's dance studio, where she is telling the story to a group of children.] And that, my friends, is the story of how Stars Hollow came to be, and why we celebrate that fateful night every year at about this time. Now, we still have a little time left in our story hour. Who wants to hear about the time I danced in a cage for Tito Puente? KIDS: [raising hands] Me! MISS PATTY: It was the summer of 66 .. (Opening Credits) CUT TO BUS STOP (Dean is waiting on the bench as Rory steps off the bus.) RORY: So? DEAN: It's depressing. RORY: It's beautiful. DEAN: She throws herself under a train. RORY: But I bet she looked great doing it. DEAN: I don't know. I think maybe Tolstoy's just a little over my head. RORY: No, that's not true. Tolstoy wrote for the masses, the common man. It's completely untrue that you have to be some kind of genius to read his stuff. DEAN: Yeah but RORY: Now I know it's big. . . DEAN: Very big. RORY: And long. . . DEAN: Very, very long RORY: And many of the Russian names tend be spelled very similar, making it confusing DEAN: Every single person's name ends with 'ski'. Now how is that possible? RORY: But it's one of my favorite books. And I know that if you just give it a try you... DEAN: All right. I'll try again. RORY: Really? DEAN: Yeah. RORY: You won't be sorry. DEAN: Coffee? RORY: Please. DEAN: Man, I thought Christmas was a big deal around here. RORY: Well, this is a town that likes the celebrating. Last year we had a month long carnival when we finally got off the septic tnk system. DEAN: A month long? You're kidding. RORY: No. There were rides and a petting zoo and balloon animals and a freak show. DEAN: Uh huh. Okay, you almost had me going there for a second. RORY: Well we did have a ribbon cutting ceremony. DEAN: So what are you doing Friday night? RORY: Well, I've got the usual Friday night grandparents' dinner. But I thought maybe if we get back early enough you and I should go watch the bonfire together. I mean, it's kind of corny, but it's really pretty. And they sell star-shaped hot dogs. DEAN: How about if you get out of dinner at your grandparents' this week? RORY: I don't think so. DEAN: Well, what if it's for a really special occasion? RORY: Well, that special occasion better include my being relocated to a plastic bubble if my grandmother's gonna let me out of dinner. DEAN: There must be some other excuse that you could use. RORY: Like what? DEAN: Like it's your three-month anniversary with your boyfriend. RORY: It is? DEAN: Yeah. Three months from your birthday. I mean, that's when I gave you the bracelet and that's when I figured this whole thing kinda started. RORY: Wow. Three months. DEAN: Actually, technically your birthday was on a Saturday, so really it should be Saturday, but I work Saturday and I planned out this whole big thing so I thought maybe we could do it on Friday. RORY: What whole big thing? DEAN: Just this once. Miss dinner. Please. Don't make me throw myself under a train. RORY: I'll see what I can do. DEAN: Thank you. RORY: You're welcome. It's our three-month anniversary. DEAN: Yeah it is. RORY: I feel kind of stupid that I didn't even know about this. DEAN: That's quite all right. RORY: I mean, I feel really bad that I missed our two-month anniversary. DEAN: Quite all right too. RORY: How was it? DEAN: Pretty good. RORY: I'm glad. CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE (Lorelai is sitting at the kitchen table reading a box of Hamburger Helper. Rory walks in.) RORY: No, put that away. LORELAI: I wanna cook. RORY: You can make soup. LORELAI: No. I wanna really cook like on the Food Channel. I wanna sauté thing and chop things and do the BAM, and I wanna arrange things on a plate so they look like a pretty little hat. I wanna be the Iron Chef! RORY: Fine. LORELAI: Really? RORY: Yeah, I'll help. L: Okay. I need a pan. R: And a fre extinguisher. L: Funny, funny girl. Now, if I had only bought some hamburger. R: You didn't buy hamburger? L: Yes I bought hamburger. I just like saying things like that so you look at me like I'm crazy. R: So, tell me, why the sudden need to be domestic? L: Ah, I don't know. I'm in like a funky mood. R: Why? L: Too many stars, too much love, it makes me cranky. R: I take it you haven't heard from Mr. Medina? L: Hmm, no. I haven't. R: Maybe that's why you're cranky. L: Okay, new subject please. R: You know, you have a phone also. L: How's it coming with that pan? R: Cleopatra, queen of denial. L: The pan, Chucky. Please. R: Okay fine. New topic. L: Thank you. R: I have this huge favor to ask you. L: Oh, something I can hold over your head. Let's hear it. R: Friday night is Dean's and my three-month anniversary. L: Three months? Wow. R: And Dean apparently has some big fancy evening planned for us. L: Very classy of him. R: Yes it is. But for me to actually partake of the foresaid fancy evening, I have to get out of Friday night dinner. L: Ah. R: Yeah. L: Good luck with that. R: Mom! L: Do you know how much Emily Gilmore will not care about your three-month anniversary? R: I was thinking you could talk to her. L: If there was a runoff between what Emily Gilmore would care about less, a two-for-one toilet paper sale at Costco or your three month anniversary, your anniversary would win, hands down. R: So you're not even gonna try to help me? L: Oh no, I'm gonna try to help you, because I care. Emily Gilmore, however. . R: Phone please. L: Okay. [Lorelai walks over to the phone. She laughs.] R: What? L: Nothing. It's just, 'Oh, hey Mom, uh, Rory and Dean are having their three month anniversary on Friday.' 'Really Lorelai? Why that's wonderful. I'm thrilled.' R: Stop. L: 'Three months. Well, woohoo. Hold on, I'm going to cartwheel.' R: Forget it. L: Oh, no wait. She's telling my dad now. Why, I think they're cabbage patching. R: That's it. Find your own pan. EMILY: Hello? L: Mom? EMILY: Lorelai? L: Uh, yes, hi. EMILY: Hello. L: Hi. How are you doing? EMILY: I'm doing fine. L: That's good. EMILY: I'm pleased. L: How's Dad? EMILY: What do you want Lorelai? L: Um, I was just calling to say hello. EMILY: And now you have. L: Okay, good. EMILY: Was there anything else that you wanted to add to that hello? L: Well, as a matter of fact, there is. EMILY: Ah ha. L: Um, you know Rory. EMILY: Yes, I believe I do. L: She wanted to say hello too. EMILY: Lorelai, I'm late for a meeting. I'd love to know why. L: Mom, just hear me out, okay, and don't say anything. Um, see Friday night is Rory and Dean's three-month anniversary, and while that might not seem like a very big deal to you, it is to them. And I'm gonna ask you to do something you are so not gonna wanna do. But I am begging you to look at it from her point of view and maybe, just maybe let her, just this once, not come to dinner on Friday. EMILY: All right. L: What? EMILY: Since this is a special occasion, I suppose it would be fine if Rory missed dinner on Friday. L: It would? EMILY: Yes R: Mom? L: Are you sure? EMILY: I believe I am. L: No arguments? EMILY: No. L: Well, she wont be there. EMILY: I understand. L: At all. EMILY: I heard. L: All night long. EMILY: I assumed as much. L: Okay. EMILY: Okay. L: All right. EMILY: Anything else? L: Uh, you know, she's gonna need some help getting ready for the big night Mom, so I should probably. EMILY: We'll see you at seven. L: Okay. Right. Bye. R: So? L: The world is officially coming to an end. CUT TO CHILTON (Tristin and Summer are kissing in front of some lockers.) MADELINE: And they're off. PARIS: The bell just rang three seconds ago. How did they get lip locked so fast? MADELINE: I want a boyfriend to make out with. LOUISE: Ty Tolson likes you. MADELINE: I want to different boyfriend to make out with. PARIS: I can't get to my locker. LOUISE: I'm sure they'll move if you ask nice. You know, dangle a hotel key in front of their faces. PARIS: This is a school. You don't do this in a school. LOUISE: Not unless you've got a boyfriend like Tristin. Then you do it anywhere you can. MADELINE: Street corner. LOUISE: Shopping mall. MADELINE: Phone booth. LOUISE: Starbucks. PARIS: Thank you for the "where to make out" list, I just need to get my books. LOUISE: Hell hath no fury. PARIS: [walks over to her locker] Excuse me. You're in my way. Hey, spawn in front of somebody else's locker please. RORY: I'm assuming your locker's in there somewhere also. PARIS: Yup. Right behind Belle Watling. RORY: Have you tried to get their attention? PARIS: Sure have. RORY: No luck? PARIS: Nope. RORY: God, look at that. It's like he's eating her face. PARIS: Okay, that's it. I'm getting the fre hose. RORY: Let me try first. Hey, could you two just move this whole thing down to the left a little? TRISTIN: What? RORY: You're standing in front of the lockers. PARIS: Our lockers. TRISTIN: Oh sorry. Just got a little carried away. RORY: Right. TRISTIN: Hey Paris. PARIS: Hey. SUMMER: You should get bangs. PARIS: Thanks for the tip. SUMMER: You have a long forehead. Bangs would hide that. MADELINE: Hey, party at my house Saturday. LOUISE: Dress to impress please. MADELINE: Come? (hands flyer to Rory) RORY: Oh, I don't know. MADELINE: You can bring your boyfriend. RORY: I'll see. SUMMER: So, meet me after biology? TRISTIN: And if I don't? SUMMER: You will. TRISTIN: Oh, yes I will. Ah. To be young and in love. PARIS: What a shame Elizabeth Barrett Browning wasn't here to witness this. She'd put her head through a wall. CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN (Lorelai walks through the lobby into the kitchen where Jackson and Sookie are kissing.) LORELAI: Oh, now people, this is a kitchen. At least wear some hairnets. SOOKIE: Lorelai, hello. Uh, we were, uh. . . JACKSON: Just discussing jam making. SOOKIE: Jackson's gonna start making jam and preserves. JACKSON: Maybe tomato sauce. SOOKIE: Yeah, there's a whole world out there beyond growing vegetables. LORELAI: No coffee? SOOKIE: Sorry. LORELAI: That's okay. Resume smooching. SOOKIE: Thank you. CUT TO INN LOBBY (Michel talking on phone) MICHEL: No cherie. I can't wait either. Very soon. You are? Ohhh. Don't tease me. I promise all this waiting will be worthwhile. I'll see you then. Goodbye darling. LORELAI: So how's mom? MICHEL: And while normally I would look forward to a good verbal sparring match, today I say no. My heart is light, the world is fine and I have a date for Saturday night. Your turn. LORELAI: What I need now is lots and lots of coffee. CUT TO CENTER OF TOWN (Lorelai walking through Stars Hollow while locals prepare for the festival.) MAN: Heads up! (A large papier mache star falls in front of Lorelai) LORELAI: Agh! MAN: Hey, you okay? LORELAI: Yeah, I'm fine. MAN: Man, that has never happened before! LORELAI: Really? How about that. CUT TO LUKE'S (Lorelai walks in and sits at the counter.) LORELAI: I was almost crushed by a papier mache star. How's your day? LUKE: Well, it's looking pretty good now. LORELAI: Coffee please, no sht of cynicism. LUKE: So, why so cheery? LORELAI: I don't know. I'm just in a mood. I don't know why. LUKE: But there's no particular reason for this mood? LORELAI: No. LUKE: Uh huh. LORELAI: You don't believe me? LUKE: No, I believe you. If you say there's no reason for the mood, then there's no reason for the mood. You're simply nuts. LORELAI: Or bipolar. That's very big nowadays. (Miss Patty and Taylor are arguing at a table behind Lorelai.) TAYLOR: No, no, Patty, you're wrong. They built the fre to throw themselves on it when their families found them MISS PATTY: Taylor you're crazy! They built the fre so that they could stay warm their first night here. TAYLOR: Patty, I am the recording secretary for the Stars Hollow City Council, I think I know how my town was founded! LORELAI: Ugh, can nobody talk about anything else but this stupid festival? [pause] That came out a lot louder then it was supposed to, didn't it? LUKE: Yup. LORELAI: Yup. TAYLOR: This festival is commemorating the founding of our town, young lady. LORELAI: I know Taylor. I'm sorry. LUKE: She's bipolar. MISS PATTY: Really? But you're so young. LUKE: Uh, can I get you two anything else? MISS PATTY: Oh, no thank you, sweetheart. LORELAI: I don't know what is wrong with me. This is a beautiful festival. People should be enjoying it. LUKE: It's a crazy festival based on a nutty myth about two lunatics, who in all probability did not even exist. And even if they did, probably dropped dad of diphtheria before age 24. The town of Stars Hollow probably got its name from the local dance hall prosttute. Two rich drunk guys who made up the story to make it look good on a poster. LORELAI: You are full of hate and loathing, and I gotta tell you, I love it! LUKE: Oh, it's so good to have somebody share this hate with. LORELAI: My pleasure. LUKE: More coffee? LORELAI: Yeah please. Hey, tomorrow, if you have time, I'm planning on despising everyone who says 'Hey, how's it going?' LUKE: You're on. RACHEL: Hey, how's it going? LORELAI: Oh, now that' s just too easy. LUKE: Rachel. LORELAI: Rachel? Your Rachel? You're Rachel? RACHEL: Yup. I'm Rachel. LUKE: What are you I mean, I thought you were in the Congo or Philadelphia or something. RACHEL: Actually, though very similar to both the Congo and Philadelphia, I was in the Mideast. LUKE: Oh. Guess that postcard must've gotten lost. RACHEL: Yeah, yeah, well things pretty crazy over there, not a lot of writing time. But I finished up my assignment, and I flew back to Chicago and I was walking through O'Hare, and I look up and there's a plane leaving for Hartford in like 20 minutes, and all of a sudden, I'm on it. LUKE: Nice story. RACHEL: I should have called. LUKE: No. You it's fine. RACHEL: You look good. LUKE: Thanks. You um, you look, you, you uh look LORELAI: He thinks you look good too. Right? LUKE: Right. LORELAI: And you do. RACHEL: Thank you. LORELAI: I'm Lorelai. LUKE: Oh yeah. She's Lorelai. LORELAI: I'm Luke's friend. LUKE: Yeah. She uh, uh, works at the Independence Inn. LORELAI: I run it, actually. LUKE: Sorry, she runs it. RACHEL: Wow, I love that place. LORELAI: Oh! RACHEL: That must be a pretty big job. LORELAI: It is! It's crazy. There's always something happening. Like, we just put these coffee makers in all the rooms, but only half of them work. They just like shake and gurgle, like they're having some kind of a fit. Why were you in the Mideast? RACHEL: I was doing a photo story, on how Palestinian and Israeli families have been affected by the volence. LORELAI: Uh huh, well, so you understand about the job pressure. RACHEL: Yeah. LORELAI: I'm gonna go. RACHEL: Please, don't let me drive you away. LORELAI: That's okay, you're not. I have to go sit in a closet or something. So, it was really nice to meet you. RACHEL: Yeah, you too. LORELAI: Okay, bye. (Lorelai leaves) RACHEL: So. . .hi. LUKE: Hi. CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE (Lorelai is combing Rory's hair in Rory's bedroom.) LORELAI: 'Oh, we got new coffee makers.' Ugh! What was I thinking? RORY: Well, you spent a lot of time picking out those coffee makers. L: Oh yeah, I'm Mrs. Coffee. R: Ow! Okay, I'm still attached to the head. L: Okay, sorry. I'm a little worked up. R: Mom, it just Luke's ex-girlfriend. L: I know. I just hate that I made myself look so stupid in front of R: Luke? L: No, Rachel. She was standing there, fresh off a plane, and she had no plane hair at all might I add. R: And what exactly is plane hair? L: You know, it's all big and all bah. R: Got it. L: And he's staring at her like she's Miss September and she's looking at him like he's Johnny Depp, and I was just babbling like a moron, what is wrong with me?! R: Ow! Ow! Okay, you are now officially off hair duty. L: Aw, I'm sorry. I just R: No, it's okay. I just think it's a little early for Dean to see me completely bald. L: Right, that's more a six-month thing. R: So what's going on with you? L: I don't know. It's just all this love in the air, you know. I miss Max. There's just been so much going on with your Dad coming home and family stuff and your constant existence R: Thanks for the love. L: Any time. So I haven't had a lot of time to focus on it and I miss Max. R: I know. L: I had a dream about him the other night. R: Really? Dirty? L: No, absolutely not. And when you're 21, I'll tell you the real answer. Anyway, it's put me in a funk since then. R: I'm sorry. L: Me too. We could talk about me for years, and believe me, we will. But let's focus on you, the lady of the evening. No hooker reference intended. R: Glad to hear it. L: Now, what are you gonna wear with that? R: Um, you tell me. L: Uh, where is he taking you? R: Why? L: Well, you don't want to clash with the decor. A lady plans ahead. R: Well, if you must know, he's taking me to Andoloro's. L: Oh, well isn't that romantic? R: I know! L: Wow, it's gonna be just like Lady and the Tramp. You'll share a plate of spaghetti, but it'll just be one long strand, but you won't realize it until you accidentally meet in the middle. And then, he'll push a meatball towards you with his nose, and you'll push it back with your nose, and then you'll bring the meatball home and you'll save it in the refrigerator for years and. . . R: Mom? L: Uh, neither. Just wear your coat. R: Okay. L: But your flower's just a little smushed. LANE: (calls from front hallway) Rory? L: There you go, you're all set. LANE: Is anyone here? R: You all right? L: Oh yeah, you look beautiful. Go. RORY: Lane? LANE: Oh my God! CUT TO FRONT HALLWAY LANE: I just can't believe it! RORY: I know! LANE: I mean, three months, that's like one sixty-fourth of your life! R: I know! LANE: I have to stop hanging out with you. I mean, you're just making my life seem too pathetic. LORELAI: Join the club. R: Are you going to the festival? 'Cause maybe we could meet you there later. LANE: Oh yeah, that would be romantic. R: Lane. LANE: Yes, I'm going to the festival. And would you like to know why? L: Uh oh! LANE: My mother has once again set me up. R: Another future doctor? LANE: A future chiropractor. I think she's losing confidence in my prospects. R: Maybe he'll be nice. LANE: Oh, it's not just him. We're going with his parents, his grandparents, two sisters, three brothers and at least one maiden aunt. (A car honks from outside) R: That's Dean. LANE: Remember, you have to tell me everything. R: Okay. You too. LANE: Oh yeah. After the walking, the silence, the sitting and the 'buh bye', that's when the fun will begin. R: I wanna know anyhow. Bye Mom. L: Bye honey, have fun. R: Okay. L: Don't forget the meatball. LANE: The meatball? L: It's a mother-daughter thing. (Rory leaves) LANE: So, think I can hang out with you for awhile? L: Oh, uh, not unless you wanna go to Hartford. Besides didn't anyone ever tell you, it's not polite to keep fifteen prospective Korean in-laws waiting. LANE: You can run over me on your way out. Maybe my mother wouldn't make me go if I was in the hospital. L: I wouldn't count on it. LANE: Yeah, you're right. CUT TO ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE (Lorelai is on the front porch finishing her coffee. Emily opens the door before Lorelai rings the doorbell.) EMILY: You're late. LORELAI: How did you do that? EMILY: What? LORELAI: Answer the door before I even rang the bell. EMILY: I thought I heard something, I came to the door, you were there. Come in please. (Lorelai walks in.) LORELAI: You thought you heard something? EMILY: Yes. L: Mom, that door is like ten feet thick. EMILY: So? L: Well, so, it wasn't like I was standing out there with a band of jackals, I was just drinking coffee. EMILY: Lorelai, what is it that you want to hear? That I was standing by the window, staring out at the driveway, waiting to pounce the moment you arrived. L: Yes, because believe it or not, that would be less creepy. EMILY: Get yourself a drink, please. (Lorelai walks into living room. Richard is on the couch reading the newspaper.) L: Hey Dad. RICHARD: Lorelai. L: Sorry I'm late. I was helping Rory get ready for her big date, and well, you know girls. RICHARD: Mm hmm. L: So. . . um, how's work? RICHARD: Oh, work is fine. L: Yeah? Good, good. My work's fine too. RICHARD: Uh huh. L: Oh God. Mom has gone a little crazy with the figurines here, huh? A little Kathy Bates. Although you probably haven't seen Misery, which is a good thing because Rory couldn't sleep alone for a week after we watched it. That wouldn't be a problem for you because you don't sleep alone anyway. I'm guessing. I don't know what your and mom's sleeping arrangement is. Now I'm wishing I hadn't brought it up because it's such a 'Wow, don't wanna go there' kind of a subject. For me, not for you, because you should definitely go there if you uh, well anyway. Agh! RICHARD: Oh, what have you done now? L: Nothing. I just, well, I'm putting the bunny back with his little friends and I just sort of massacred them a little bit, but that's life in the jungle isn't it? RICHARD: Just sit down, please. L: Okay, sorry. RICHARD: Just sit with your hands in your lap. L: Sorry. RICHARD: And I'm trying to read, so just be quiet and try not to break anything else EMILY: So are we having a nice chat? L: Yeah, we're having a great conversation, me and Morrie. EMILY: Excuse me? L: Nothing. Thanks, Mom, for letting Rory out of dinner tonight. She really appreciated it. EMILY: Well, she deserves to celebrate. A three-month anniversary is a landmark feat at her age. Or at any age for some people. L: I was gonna get a drink. I'm gonna get right on that. (doorbell rings) EMILY: I'll get that. (leaves room) L: Can I freshen up your drink Dad? RICHARD: No, thank you. One drink before dinner is quite enough. L: Right, sorry. (Emily returns to the room with a man.) EMILY: I had no idea it was so close! CHASE: Absolutely, right around the corner. EMILY: Well, what a small world. Oh, Lorelai, I'd like you to meet Chase Bradford. L: Hey. CHASE: Hi. EMILY: He was just telling me that he actually grew up right around the corner from here. L: Oh, really? CHASE: Stone house on the corner. L: Oh, the one with the Dobermans. CHASE: That's right. Leopold and Loeb. Though I'm afraid they passed on quite a few years ago. L: Postmen finally got organized, huh? EMILY: Uh, Chase, this is my husband, Richard. RICHARD: How do you do? CHASE: Fine, Richard, just fine. EMILY: Uh, please sit down. RICHARD: Emily, I didn't know we were having company for dinner. EMILY: Oh well, it was just sort of a spur of the moment thing. Chase's mother and I are in the DAR together and he just moved back to Hatrford, and it just seemed like a nice idea. L: Yes, very nice. RICHARD: Uh Chase, can I get you a drink? CHASE: Scotch neat. RICHARD: Uh, Glenfiddich? CHASE: Fine. So Lorelai, your mother's told me all about you. L: Really? CHASE: Oh yes. I'm just sorry your daughter couldn't join us for dinner. I adore children. L: Mom, can I talk to you for a minute? EMILY: Lorelai, we have company. L: It'll just take a second, really. EMILY: But L: Come on, it'll be fun. Excuse us. We're just gonna have a spur of the moment conversation. (Lorelai guides Emily out of the room.) EMILY: You're pushing me. L: Is this a setup? EMILY: What? L: Uh, Connecticut Ken in there, is he my invited escort for the evening? EMILY: Lorelai, his mother is a friend of mine. L: And? EMILY: He just moved back here and doesn't know anyone. L: And? EMILY: And I thought he might enjoy meeting you. L: AH HA! EMILY: Put that finger down! L: Ah, this is why the Miss Congeniality act when Rory wanted to beg out of dinner. EMILY: It just seemed like a good opportunity. L: Mom, thank you for the thought, but I can get my own men. EMILY: (laughs) Really? L: Yes, really. EMILY: I must disagree. L: You must? EMILY: Chase is a quality man, he has good breeding, he comes from a nice family. He makes a nice living, he's attractive. L: Mom, mmm, no. EMILY: Is it gonna kll you to simply keep an open mind about him? L: Mom, he's not my type. EMILY: Why not? Because I like him? L: You know, I swear, I don't know which one, but there is a game show out there with your name on it. EMILY: Well that must be it because you've hardly said two words to the man. You couldn't possibly hate him already. L: Oh no, it's that arcade game where the mole keeps sticking his head out and you have to pound him as many times as you can with the mallet. You would be a master at that game. EMILY: Lorelai, I realize that Chase may not be as controversial as your usual brand of men. L: They would erect a statue of you next to it with perfect hair and pearls and a big bronze mallet. EMILY: But I want you to think about something. Tonight your daughter is celebrating her three-month anniversary. What was the last relationship you had that lasted that long? [pause] I thought so. (Lorelai and Emily return to living room.) EMILY: Well, here we are. I'm very sorry. CHASE: Oh, that's all right. I had a chance to tell Richard a little bit about what I do in the actuarial business. RICHARD: Yes, it's fascinating. CHASE: Lorelai, may I fix you something to drink? L: Hmm, gin. CHASE: And? L: Gin. RICHARD: Make that two. L: What about the one drink before dinner rule? RICHARD: Well, we have guests. We're celebrating. Chase, here, let me help you with that. CUT TO ANDOLORO'S RORY: That was really good. DEAN: It was? RORY: Yes it was. DEAN: How was the salad? RORY: Great. DEAN: What about that cheese bread thing? Too heavy? RORY: Just heavy enough. DEAN: Really? RORY: Everything was perfect. Even the soda was good. I don't know how they do it but the Coke here is definitely superior to the Coke anywhere else. DEAN: Okay, at what point during that did you start making fun of me? RORY: I would never make fun of you. Especially not after you ordered three different kinds of pasta for me just because I couldn't decide. DEAN: Well you shouldn't have to decide. I mean, tonight, you should have everything that you want. RORY: I just have to say that I'm now a very big fan of the three-month anniversary. DEAN: Oh yeah? RORY: Definitely. I think they should have T-shirts and newsletters. DEAN: Well, I'm glad. RORY: You did all this for me. DEAN: It's not over yet. RORY: This is just like that Christmas when I got a full set of illustrated encyclopedias. [Dean gives a confused look] I wanted them. DEAN: Oh, uh, good WAITER: One tiramisu, two forks, and uh, one meatball to go. RORY: Thank you. DEAN: You wanna explain the meatball? RORY: It's a mother-daughter thing. DEAN: Okay. Well, uh ladies first. RORY: Thank you. [takes a bite] Okay, have I mentioned how much I'm loving the three month anniversary thing? DEAN: Yeah, you did. RORY: Because this tiramisu is so good that if the anniversary were completely sucking right now, this would save it. What? DEAN: Nothing. RORY: Stop it. DEAN: No, you look cute. RORY: I'm eating. DEAN: Well, you eat cute. RORY: I do not eat cute. No one eats cute. Bambi maybe, but he's a cartoon. DEAN: So, uh, after we finish here we move onto phase two of the anniversary evening. RORY: Phase 2. Sounds very official, are there space suits involved? DEAN: With matching helmets. RORY: Impressive. CUT TO ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE (Lorelai, Emily, Richard and Chase are eating dinner.) CHASE: So Lorelai, are you a member of the DAR? LORELAI: No, I'm not. D-A-R-N. [giggles] See, uh, that's like darn 'cause it was a play on DAR. Boy, these carrots sure are tiny. EMILY: Chase, I'm simply fascinated about your work situation. Tell us how you wound up back here at home. I mean, you move away to make your fortune and you end up right back here. Isn't life funny? LORELAI: Hilarious. RICHARD: It's a comedy for the masses. CHASE: Well I worked hard and the company was very good to me. You know a thing or two about company loyalty I assume, Richard. Well, the company offered me a choice of East Coast locations, sort of a big vote of confidence in the job I was doing. Picking your locale, it's a very coveted position to be in. LORELAI: Yeah, would like to be picking my locale right now. CHASE: So I sat down and made my wish list. I looked for places that offered location amenities as well as job growth, and finally after days of research, checking into traffic conditions, crime rates, the best school systems, my decision came down to just two places. One was in New York, one was in Hartford. LORELAI: And you chose Hartford. CHASE: I did at that. RICHARD: Emily, is there any more roast? CHASE: Hartford has all the cosmopolitan big city benefits that New York has, without actually having to live in New York. It just seemed like a no brainer. LORELAI: I'll get dad some more roast. EMILY: Leta will bring it. LORELAIL: Oh, but it's so much more personal this way. EMILY: Hurry back. I just simply have to know what the allure of this Stars Hollow is I've heard so much about. LORELAI: Miles and miles and miles. CUT TO STARS HOLLOW (Rory and Dean walk to the festival) DEAN: So, what book did you bring? RORY: What? DEAN: Well, come on, you always bring a book with you and I was just wondering, what's the three month anniversary book? RORY: Actually, I brought the New Yorker. DEAN: A magazine. Really? RORY: It's the fiction issue. (From the gazebo, the mayor starts the festivities) MAYOR: People of Stars Hollow, and our many friends. It gives me great pleasure to preside over our annual founders festival for the thirty-second time. Many a true love has had it start right on the spot where I stand. And I don't mind telling you that at this very festival, right by this gazebo, is where I met my own true love, Miss Dora Braythwait. We have been married for 43 years, and it all started right here. TAYLOR: (covers microphone and whispers) Ask her to wave. MAYOR: (whispers) I can't. TAYLOR: Why not? MAYOR: (To Taylor) She went to Bingo in Bridgeport. (To crowd) And now my friends, if you will join me in lighting the fre. RORY: Okay, take me to the surprise now. DEAN: But I thought you said you wanted to see the bonfire being lit. RORY: Oh I do. DEAN: Wait, but Mayor Porter just said. . . RORY: Trust me. It's gonna be awhile before it's lit. We'll have plenty of time before they're ready. MAYOR: Every damn year. TAYLOR: It was Lenny's responsibility. AYOR: Oh for Pete's sake. Does anyone have any matches? CUT TO ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE (Lorelai, Emily, Richard, and Chase at dinner table.) CHASE: It's really fascinating stuff. EMILY: It sounds it. Tell us more. CHASE: Well, we're in the middle of building new statistical models that let us do a better job at predicting death than we've ever been able to do before. Richard, you might find this interesting. RICHARD: Well, I've never been one for sitting at a computer building models, Chase. I'm a client contact man myself. CHASE: But these models give you a better product to sell to those clients. EMILY: That does sound interesting. CHASE: Oh it is. In fact, if you were to answer a few simple questions for me, I could practically pinpoint the day you're going to die. EMILY: Goodness. LORELAI: Go ahead. Ask her the questions. EMILY: I think I'll pass. CHASE: No no, Lorelai! I'd have to feed the information into a computer to get the answer. I'm no Kreskin! EMILY: Well, Chase, why don't you and Lorelai retire to the living room for some Brandy while I help Leta clean up. LORELAI: While you do what? CHASE: That sounds lovely? Shall we? LORELAI: Uh, sure. I'm just going to, um, go and powder my something. But I'll be back in a minute and I'll meet you in the living room. CHASE: I'll be waiting. LORELAI: Super. CUT TO UPSTAIRS (Lorelai walks into her old bedroom, grabs her coat off the bed, and starts to climb out the window when Richard walks in.) RICHARD: Lorelai, your mother wants to know if. . . LORELAI: Hi daddy. Okay, I know this is bad. And I know this probably brings back all the horrible aspects of my childhood life for you. And see, I'm really sorry that we fought last week, and I'm really sorry that you're so disappointed in me, and I really wish there was something I can do to fix that, but there probably isn't and I can accept that because I am an adult now and I am proud of who I have become. But I am begging you, please, please do not make me go back down there because that guy is boring. RICHARD: Emily, she's not up here! LORELAI: Thank you Daddy. CUT TO JUNKYARD (Rory and Dean are standing in front of a fenced-in junkyard) DEAN: We're here. ORY: We're where? DEAN: Come on. RORY: Dean, what is this? DEAN: Okay. Uh, did you ever see Christine? RORY: Yes. DEAN: Well, it's nothing like that. Come on. (They go through an opening in the fence) RORY: You brought me to Beirut? DEAN: It's a salvage yard. RORY: Ah. And yet it looks so much like Beirut. DEAN: Okay. Uh, here we are. RORY: Wow. DEAN: It's a car. RORY: It is? DEAN: Well, it will be. RORY: When it grows up? DEAN: When I fix it. RORY: What? DEAN: Um, it's yours. RORY: What do you mean it's mine? DEAN: I mean, I'm building it piece by piece for you. RORY: No. DEAN: Yeah. I started with the frame. The seats and the windshield just went in yesterday. RORY: You're building me a car? DEAN: Yeah, now it's gonna take awhile, but when I'm done, it'll be great. RORY: You're building me a car. You're building me a car. DEAN: That's right. RORY: You're building me a car? DEAN: I'm building you a car. RORY: This is crazy. Why would you do this? DEAN: I don't know. You didn't have one. RORY: You're completely insane. DEAN: What? I didn't want you wasting time on the bus anymore. I mean, that is very valuable time we could be arguing about your ongoing obsession with very confusing Russian authors. RORY: I can't believe this DEAN: Um, do you like it? RORY: Do I like it? Are you kidding? (she kisses him) DEAN: I'll take that as a yes. RORY: Take it mister. DEAN: Come on, get in. (Dean tries to open the door for her, but it falls off the car.) DEAN: Uh, I'll fix that. RORY: Don't. I like it like that. (they both get in the car) This is amazing. DEAN: I'm glad you like it. RORY: I had no idea that three months was the car anniversary. DEAN: Four months you get a plane. RORY: Boy, relationships sure have changed since I was a kid. (they lean back and look at the stars) I'm having one of those moments right now. DEAN: What moments? RORY: One of those moments that everything is so perfect and so wonderful that you almost feel sad because nothing can ever be this good again. DEAN: So, basically, I'm depressing you. RORY: Yup. DEAN: You're very weird. RORY: And you're wonderful. (They kiss) DEAN: Rory? RORY: Yeah? DEAN: I love you. (pause) Rory? RORY: Yeah? DEAN: Did you hear me? RORY: Uh huh. DEAN: Well, say something. RORY: I. . . I. . DEAN: Yeah? RORY: I love the car. DEAN: Uh, and that's it? RORY: No. I just. . . I'm surprised, I didn't expect. . .I don't. . . DEAN: You don't love me. RORY: No, I just have to think about it for a minute. DEAN: Think about what? RORY: Well, saying I love you is a really difficult thing. DEAN: Well I just did it. RORY: And you did it really well. DEAN: What the hell does that mean? RORY: I'm sorry. Please. This totally came as a surprise. I mean, with the dinner, and the car, and then the I just need a minute to think DEAN: This is not something that you think about Rory. This is either something that you feel or you don't. RORY: Please, don't be mad. DEAN: Why? Because I say I love you and you wanna think about it? I mean, go home and discuss it with your mother? Make one of your pro/con lists? RORY: Not fair. DEAN: I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I don't even know what I was thinking. RORY: Dean. Please, it's just not that easy for me. I mean, saying I love you means a lot. Think about it from my point of view. I mean, my mom and our life. I mean, my mom said that she loved my dad and then. . . DEAN: You don't get pregnant saying I love you. RORY: I know. I'm just confused. I need to It's a really big deal. DEAN: Fine, come on. RORY: Dean, please don't be mad. DEAN: I'll take you home. RORY: Dean, tonight was amazing. It was perfect. Please, I swear, I just need a minute to. . . DEAN: Whatever, it doesn't matter, all right? Let's go. CUT TO FESTIVAL JACKSON: Sookie? SOOKIE: Yes Jackson? JACKSON: You know what I'm thinking about right now? SOOKIE: That time I roasted some red peppers over the stove burner and singed off my eyebrows? JACKSON: No. SOOKIE: Good. JACKSON: I'm just thinking, this is really nice. SOOKIE: Me too. (Rachel takes some pictures, then walks over to a bench and sits down next to Luke.) LUKE: You getting some good stuff? RACHEL: Oh yeah, yeah, the firelight really changes people. Ya know, makes them seem happier, freer, all troubles of the world completely gone. LUKE: I don't think that's the firelight. I think it's the Founders Day party punch they've been selling. RACHEL: Oh yeah, that stuff is good LUKE: Okay, at some point, are you gonna tell me what you're doing here? RACHEL: I'm putting more film in my camera. LUKE: Rachel. RACHEL: What? I told you, I was at the airport, now I'm here. LUKE: Oh well sure, when you put it like that. RACHEL: Correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't sound all that happy to see me. LUKE: Correct me if I'm wrong, but you have a tendency to show up and then leave, quite suddenly. One of your more charming attributes. RACHEL: So you're not happy to see me? Luke, I don't know what I'm doing here. I just missed you. I wanted to see you. I don't know what else to say. LUKE: I missed you too. RACHEL: So since we're both being blunt, what's the deal with Lorelai? LUKE: What are you talking about? RACHEL: I'm talking about Lorelai, the lady who runs the inn, the one you've told me absolutely nothing about, and been very careful to leave out of every story, anecdote, or gossip about the town. LUKE: There is no deal with Lorelai. We're friends. RACHEL: For now? LUKE: Yes. RACHEL: And in the future? LUKE: Well, Lorelai is, she's just uh I don't know. I mean, at time it seems like, I don't know. But I am happy to see you. RACHEL: Good. I'm gonna get some of that party punch. You want some? LUKE: That stuff will kll you. RACHEL: Oh Luke, some things never change. (Rachel walks away. After a few seconds, Lorelai sits down next to Luke.) LORELAI: Hey. Where the hell's the fre department when you need them? LUKE: Hey, aren't you supposed to be in Hartford? LORELAI: Yeah. LUKE: What happened? LORELAI: Climbed out the window. LUKE: Okay. LORELAI: That's it. You're not curious why? LUKE: No. LORELAI: That's what I love about you. LUKE: Hey, how long you been here? LORELAI: A little while. LUKE: Did you see Harry and Taylor get into a fist fight? LORELAI: No! Aww! How did I miss that? I'm so bummed! LUKE: It was good. LORELAI: So where's Rachel? LUKE: Oh, she's a founder's party punch junkie. LORELAI: God, even the nice girls aren't safe. LUKE: Yeah. She's been running around here taking all kinds of pictures. LORELAI: She's having a good time. LUKE: I guess so. I hope so. LORELAI: So? LUKE: Yes? LORELAI: So, what's the haps with you two? LUKE: The haps? Well, lets see. What is the haps? LORELAI: I mean, like, ya know, what's going. . . LUKE: I know what you meant by the haps. LORELAI: Okay, well you're repeating it like a thousand times. LUKE: I was pondering. LORELAI: Well you ponder really slowly. LUKE: If I did it fast it wouldn't be pondering. Pondering by nature is a slow connotation. LORELAI: Okay. Fine, fine. LUKE: It's okay. LORELAI: Is she staying? LUKE: I don't know. LORELAI: Do you want her to? LUKE: I don't know. LORELAI: She seems to really like you. LUKE: Yeah she does, but she doesn't have the greatest attention span. LORELAI: Yeah. LUKE: But she is here. LORELAI: Yes, she is. LUKE: I don't know. You spend a lot of time debating things, ya know, is it right, is it wrong, or should I do this, should I do that. I mean, sometimes you should just jump in and take a sht. What's the worst that can happen? She left before, I lived. Maybe this time. LORELAI: I think that's really great. LUKE: You do? LORELAI: Yeah. LUKE: Thanks. LORELAI: You're welcome LUKE: Well, I guess I'm gonna go check up on Rachel. LORELAI: That's nice. LUKE: What? LORELAI: That you have somebody you can go check up on. That's nice. LUKE: Yeah it is. Unless she's completely drunk and throwing up. LORELAI: Still nice. LUKE: I'll see you tomorrow? LORELAI: Tomorrow. CUT TO LORELAIS HOUSE (Lorelai walks in, picks up phone, dials, sits on the couch.) MAX'S MACHINE: Hi, you've reached Max Medina. I'm not here right now so leave a message at the beep and I'll get back to you. Thanks. (Rory walks in. Lorelai hangs up the phone.) LORELAI: Rory? RORY: We just broke up. (Lorelai walks to Rory and hugs her.) THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x16 - Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers"}	foreverdreaming
1.17 - The Breakup, Part 2 written by Amy Sherman-Palladino directed by Nick Marck transcript by Vanessa [Lorelai and Rory hugging] LORELAI: Tell me what happened. RORY: We broke up, we just broke up. LORELAI: But I don't understand. RORY: We - we went to dinner and then we walked by the bonfire but it wasn't lit so we went to this junkyard and we sat in this car and then - oh God! LORELAI: What? RORY: I forgot your meatball in the car. LORELAI: Oh honey, forget it. RORY: Oh I can't believe I left your meatball in the car. LORELAI: Ok, ok, come on [as they sit on the couch] RORY: After I told the waiter to wrap it up and everything. And everyone was like what do you want with one meatball?' And I was like It's a mother/daughter thing.' And I'm sure he thought I was nuts but he was so nice and he did it anyway and he uh, he brought one of those tin foil swans or duck or some kind of bird and - and then I left it in the car. LORELAI: Ok, forget about the meatball ok? Just tell me what happened. RORY: He just broke up with me ok? LORELAI: That doesn't make sense. This is Dean we're talking about. He's crazy about you. He calls like 25 times a day. Have you seen the cover of his notebook? It's one step away from stalker material. RORY: I have to go to bed. [gets up and heads for her room] LORELAI: Well, wait. Take me through the night step by step. RORY: Why? LORELAI: So I can help decipher what happened here. RORY: What happened here is we broke up. He didn't want to be my boyfriend anymore, end of story. LORELAI: That is so not end of story. RORY: Yes it is. LORELAI: Honey, he did not plan an entire romantic evening complete with dinner and a junkyard, which we'll get back to later, and then suddenly decide to dump you for no reason. RORY: How do you know? [as she pulls out a box from her closet.] LORELAI: Because I have read every Nancy Drew mystery ever written. The one about the Amish country, twice. I know there's more to the story than what you're telling me. What are you doing? RORY: I'm getting rid of all this stuff. LORELAI: What stuff? RORY: Everything he gave me, everything he touched, everything he looked at. LORELAI: Honey, will you just calm down for just one second. RORY: He doesn't want to be my boyfriend - fine. LORELAI: Ok ,it will be fine but - [taking one of the shirts Rory was about to put in the box] RORY: What? LORELAI: Mine. RORY: Oh. LORELAI: Is there someone else? RORY: No. LORELAI: Is he moving? RORY: No. LORELAI: Uh, is he dying? Did his football team lose a game? RORY: What ? LORELAI: It's happened. Did he, um, try something? RORY: What? LORELAI: You know, did he wanna RORY: What? LORELAI: Did he wanna go faster than you - RORY: God no! LORELAI: Ok, ok, I'm sorry. RORY: Jeez.. LORELAI: You're just not giving me a lot to go off of here. Honey that's your fancy dress that I made for you. RORY: That I wore to a dance that I went to with him. LORELAI: Oh yeah. Sweater's brand-new. RORY: Well he saw me in it yesterday and he liked it. LORELAI: Well then he's got good taste. RORY: He said it brought out the blue in my eyes. LORELAI: Well then he's gay. RORY: You're not funny and it goes. LORELAI: I'm a little funny and if you throw away everything Dean ever saw you wear you're gonna be walking around in a towel. Colonel Clucker? Are you serious? He has been with you since you were four. RORY: The first time Dean came over, he picked it up. LORELAI: Well that's the not the colonel's fault. He was sitting there minding his own business and a guy comes in and picks him up, what's a stuffed bird to do? RORY: I don't want to joke about this, not now. LORELAI: Ok. RORY: Here. [giving her the box] I don't want to look at that anymore. LORELAI: Ok, I'll, um, I'll put it away. RORY: No, take it out of the house. Throw it in a dumpster, burn it, I don't care. Just - I want it gone. LORELAI: You know honey, some day, when all of this is in the past, you may be sorry that you don't have some of those things anymore. RORY: I don't care. LORELAI: But Rory - RORY: I don't care! LORELAI: Ok. Fine. It's gone. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: So I'll take care of this and you go to bed and get some rest. Maybe you'll fell more like talking in the morning. RORY: Ok. LORELAI: Honey, good night. RORY: Mom LORELAI: Yeah. RORY: Far, far away from the house ok? LORELAI: Hey, it sleeps with the fishes. RORY: Thank you. [Lorelai puts the box in a closet instead and covers it with a blanket.] [Pan to morning. Lorelai's bedroom] RORY: Mom. LORELAI: Mmm. RORY: Mom get up. LORELAI: Rory what's the matter? RORY: Nothing, I just want to get started. I made a list of all the things we say we're going to do on the weekend but then when the weekend comes around you say they're too boring to actually do one a weekend day, so then you say we'll do them during the week, which of course we never do. So I think that we should get them all out of the way today once and for all. And to make it interesting, we should come up with like a reward system so once we're done with everything on the list we could go get manicures or we could go to the Swiss place for fondue for dinner or we could stuff our purses full of sour patch kids and milk duds and go see the Stars Hollow elementary school production of Who's afraid of Virginia Woolfe.' LORELAI: It's 6:00. RORY: I know. LORELAI: On Saturday morning. RORY: That's right. LORELAI: It's 6:00 on Saturday morning! RORY: Do you want to wear docks or sneakers? LORELAI: I want to wear slippers. RORY: Up please. LORELAI: Rory, my heart. It is Saturday, the day of rest. RORY: Sunday's the day of rest. LORELAI: No, Saturday is the day of pre-rest. RORY: Pre-rest? LORELAI: Yeah, so that way when you actually get to Sunday you're rested enough to enjoy your rest. RORY: That makes absolutely no sense. LORELAI: That's because it's 6:00 on Saturday morning. [Rory uncovers her] Oh jeez! RORY: Up please! LORELAI: You make a rhyme. RORY: I'll see you downstairs. LORELAI: Ugh! [Pan to Lorelai coming down the stairs. She turns to go into the kitchen and stops, turns back to look at the living room only to find all the furniture moved around. Heads into the kitchen] LORELAI: Hello. Did you rearrange the furniture? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: Good, cause for a minute there I thought we were having a problem with decorator elves and I was gonna have to call an exterminator and tent the place but it was just you. Great. Good. So now was there any reason that you just suddenly felt the need to move around large pieces of furniture first thing in the morning? RORY: I was up, it was there. LORELAI: Ok good thought process. Great. Now I noticed you didn't move the tv though. RORY: It was too heavy. LORELAI: Right, ok. Well I like this, yeah, this is good. Now of course when the sofa actually faced the tv it made it a little easier to watch but you know this is good too. It'll be like um, you know like radio. RORY: Are you ready to go? LORELAI: Yes I am, just uh, just one quick sec. Um, why don't you - could you put the pen down? RORY: Just finishing the list. LORELAI: Yes I see and as much as I love your list, let's just finish this particular one in a little while ok? RORY: Ok. LORELAI: Rory, I'm concerned about you. I wish you would talk to me. RORY: I don't want to deal with it right now. I can't deal with it right now. LORELAI: Fair enough. But listen, I've had my heart broken before. It's really hard. It's hard for everyone, so can I give you a little advice. RORY: Ok. LORELAI: I think what you really need to do today is wallow. RORY: Wallow? LORELAI: Oh yeah, get back in your pajamas, go to bed, eat nothing but gallons of ice cream and tons of pizza, don't take a shower or shave your legs or put on any kind of make up at all and just sit in the dark and watch a really sad movie and have a good long cry and just wallow. You need to wallow. RORY: No. LORELAI: Rory, your first love is intense and your first break up even more intense. Shoving it away and ignoring it while you make lists it's not gonna help. RORY: I don't want to wallow. LORELAI: Try it for one day. RORY: No. LORELAI: One day, one day of pizza and pajamas. I'll rent Love Story' and The Champ', 'An Affair to Remember', Ishtar'. RORY: I don't want to be that kind of girl. LORELAI: the kind of girl that watches Ishtar'? RORY: The kind of girl who just falls apart because she doesn't have a boyfriend. LORELAI: That description hardly applies to you. RORY: It will if I wallow. LORELAI: Not true. RORY: So I used to have a boyfriend and now I don't. Ok, that's just the way it is. I mean sitting in the dark eating junk food and not shaving my legs isn't gonna change that, is it? LORELAI: No. RORY: Ok, so I don't even want to go there. I have things to do, I have school and Harvard to think about. LORELAI: Honey, Harvard is like three years away. RORY: But now is the time to be preparing for it. I mean Harvard is hard to get into and I don't know why I even spend my time thinking about anything else. LORELAI: Because you have a pulse and you are not the president of the audio visual club. RORY: I'm 16, I have the rest of my life to have a boyfriend. I should be keeping my eye on the prize right now. LORELAI: I admire your attitude. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: So should we rent Old Yeller' too or is that just a guy's crying movie. RORY: You're not listening to me. LORELAI: I am listening to you, I just - I don't agree with you. RORY: I don't want to wallow, and you can't make me. LORELAI: Ok. Fine. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: So that must be the list. RORY: Yes it is. LORELAI: May I see it please? We do not need a garden hose. RORY: We don't have one. LORELAI: We don't have a garden either. RORY: But maybe if we have a hose we can grow one. LORELAI: Can I see the pen please? RORY: Why? LORELAI: Small adjustment, small adjustment. [writes something on the list and hands the list back to Rory] RORY: Mom... LORELAI: What? It's on the list. Don't you have to do it if it's on the list?! RORY: I'm not going to wallow [crossing it out] LORELAI: But I put it after going to the recycling center. CUT TO STREET [Lorelai and Rory walking] LORELAI: What are all these people doing up? It's Saturday morning. RORY: Some people like getting up early. LORELAI: You lie. RORY: No they do it voluntarily. LORELAI: Really? RORY: Everyday. LORELAI: Ha! Jumpback! RORY: Excuse me? LORELAI: Kevin Bacon, Footloose, reaction to the no dancing in town rule is revealed to him by Chris Penn, brother to Sean, sage to all. RORY: I shoulda known. LORELAI: Yes you should. I don't know what they teach you in that damn school. [Rory stops walking] What? RORY: I can't go that way. LORELAI: Why, we're going to Luke's. RORY: No. LORELAI: You pull me out of bed at 6:00 in the morning and then you say no' to Luke's? Don't you know how dangerous that is? RORY: I can't go that way. LORELAI: Reason please? RORY: Because we'd have to go by Doose's market. LORELAI: So? RORY: So we might run into - LORELAI: Oh. RORY: Yeah. LORELAI: Right. Um, you don't know if he's working? RORY: I don't remember. His weekend schedule changes a lot. LORELAI: Ok, well we'll just take the long way. RORY: No. LORELAI: Why? RORY: We'd have to go by the school. LORELAI: But there's no school today. RORY: But on his days off from work he plays football at the school with some of his friends. LORELAI: Well what time? RORY: It varies. LORELAI: Ok, well we'll just go down Peach street, we'll circle around, you're shaking your head why? RORY: He lives on Peach. LORELAI: Rory, honey, love of my life, you realize you've completely cut us from Luke's where the happy coffee is. RORY: I'm sorry. LORELAI: No, it's ok, it's ok. Ok, we'll just um, well, we'll figure something out. CUT TO ALLEY RORY: Sorry. LORELAI: No, this is good. This is like G.I. Jane' but we get to keep our hair. RORY: I just couldn't. LORELAI: Oh honey, say no more. Think of this as an adventure. Two girls battling the elements, desperate for survival. RORY: Or coffee. LORELAI: Same thing. RORY: You know I bet you can tell a lot about people from their garbage. LORELAI: Yeah. RORY: Think about it, trash is discarded aspect of people's lives. LORELAI: Hmm. RORY: It talks about their eating habits, what they read, do they go to concerts, are they responsible, do they pay bills on time? LORELAI: Yeah, you do know honey, that garbage doesn't actually talk at all unless it's on Sesame Street. RORY: I'm just trying to make a point. LORELAI: That going through people's garbage is interesting. RORY: And educational. LORELAI: And stinky and a little nuts. RORY: There's nothing nuts about wanting to know more about human nature. [picking up an article of clothing from a pile of garbage] Curiosity is how we grow. LORELAI: Bah! [making her drop it and pulling her out of the alley] We have to get you out of this alley. CUT TO LUKE'S [Lorelai and Rory enter from the back.] LORELAI: Who are all these people? RORY: It's the 6:00 am crowd. LORELAI: I officially recognize nobody in this place. RACHEL: Hey. LORELAI: Oh hi. RACHEL: Coffee while you wait? LORELAI: Oh bless you. [she pours coffee] So Luke put you to work huh? RACHEL: Yeah well I figured if I'm going to be hanging around here for a while the least I could do is help out. LORELAI: So you're gonna be hanging around for a while...here? RACHEL: Yeah I think so. LORELAI: Oh well that's nice. RACHEL: Yeah. RORY: So where is Luke? RACHEL: Well we were kind of up late last night so I let him sleep in. LORELAI: Sleep in? Luke? RACHEL: Oh believe me it wasn't easy to get him to agree to it, but in the end, a little sweet talk, a couple of Excedrin PM he finally caved. RORY: Hey there's a seat over there. LORELAI: Great. RACHEL: Oh go, go! I'll be over in a sec. LORELAI: Ok. RORY: I feel like everyone is staring at me. LORELAI: Well yeah, because you've got a banana peel stuck to your foot. RORY: I do? LORELAI: I'm kidding. Nobody's staring at you. RORY: They know. LORELAI: They don't know. RORY: It's probably all around town by now. LORELAI: Honey it just happened last night, it's like 6:00 in the morning. RORY: Everyone knows that I've been dumped. LORELAI: Do you want to go home? RORY: No, we have a list. LORELAI: Ok great. I'm gonna order us something. Any preference - eggs, french toast, key to the dumpster? RORY: I don't care. LORELAI: Ok, I'll be right back. [heads for the counter and runs into Miss Patty] MISS PATTY: Lorelai, what a nice surprise so early in the morning. So how's things? LORELAI: You know don't you? MISS PATTY: Yes and I feel awful. I feel completely responsible. LORELAI: Well you should. [smiling] MISS PATTY: Well I got Dean that job and I certainly encouraged them, I felt they were so right together. LORELAI: Miss Patty, please don't say anything to Rory about it, she's a little concerned about everybody finding out. MISS PATTY: Oh of course, not a peep. LORELAI: And spread the word ok? MISS PATTY: Consider it done. Oh and Lorelai, would you give the angel a hug for me. I mean you don't have to say it's from me, just give her a hug. LORELAI: Got it. MISS PATTY: Ok. [leaves. Lorelai head for the counter as Luke comes down the stairs] LORELAI: Oh well, uh, good morning sleeping beauty. LUKE: Yeah, well you know Rachel thought I looked a little tired. LORELAI: No, it's good. You need a little break. LUKE: I guess. LORELAI: You do. So she seems pretty comfortable here huh? LUKE: Yeah well she always could just fit in places you know. It's a talent of hers. LORELAI: She looks good in your apron. LUKE: Yeah well, can I get you anything? LORELAI: Oh, um, do you think you could make those really crazy chocolate chip pancakes and go extra heavy on the chocolate? LUKE: Yeah sure, any special occasion? LORELAI: [sighs] Dean broke up with Rory. LUKE: What?! LORELAI: Keep it down, she doesn't want anybody to know about it. LUKE: Oh I knew it, I just knew that kid was trouble. LORELAI: Yes you did, you knew it. Pancakes please. LUKE: Oh God, he's got a nerve. I mean what does he think he's gonna do better than Rory? Is he crazy? Jeez. Alright, well forget it ok. Good riddance, adios, bienvenidos, hasta la vista. LORELAI: Could we get off the small world ride and start cooking please? LUKE: How is she? LORELAI: She's been dumped by her first boyfriend. LUKE: Oh man, I swear I would love to - ok, I'm gonna put some whipped cream on the pancakes too. LORELAI: Thank you Luke. LUKE: Yeah. LORELAI: Not a word ok? LUKE: I got it. [Lorelai turns around and sees Kirk talking to Rory] KIRK: I never liked him. I don't know what it was, something about the shape of his forehead or his height or the floppy hair style. Actually yes, on reflection I think it was the floppy hair style. LORELAI: Hey good morning Kirk. KIRK: Lorelai, I want to express my apologies for not voicing my concerns about that floppy haired jerk earlier because if I had - LORELAI: Oh you know what - you need to leave now. KIRK: I cannot go until you accept my apology. LORELAI: I accept your apology. KIRK: Alright. LORELAI: Ok. KIRK: It will not happen again. [Kirk leaves] LORELAI: Ok. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: Honey are you sure you don't want to - RORY: Don't say wallow'. LORELAI: Swallow your coffee before you eat? RORY: I am fine. LORELAI: But if you could see the look on your face. RORY: It's the same look you had on your face when you broke up with Max. Did wallowing help you get over him? LORELAI: I'm not saying wallowing will help you get over Dean. It's part of the process. It's the mourning period. It's a step, an important step. The only thing that will get you over somebody is time. RORY: How much time did it take you to get over Max? LORELAI: I'm not sure exactly. RORY: Approximately? LORELAI: I didn't clock it. RORY: Ballpark figure? LORELAI: A while. RORY: Be vaguer. LORELAI: Rory come on. LUKE: More coffee? Pancakes are coming right up, anything else I can get you? RORY: No thanks. LUKE: Hey I've got some strawberries back there, you like strawberries don't you? RORY: Yeah I like strawberries but - LUKE: I'm getting you strawberries. [moves to the next table] RORY: You told him didn't you? LORELAI: No. Miss Patty did. [Luke sees Dean heading towards the diner and as he goes out to meet him, Rory and Lorelai keep talking.] RORY: Well who told Miss Patty? LORELAI: I don't know, numerous sources. [Pan to outside diner] LUKE: Stop right there. DEAN: What? LUKE: Where are you going? DEAN: To get coffee. LUKE: Wrong. DEAN: Excuse me? LUKE: You're not going in there buddy. DEAN: What are you talking about? LUKE: Turn around bag boy. DEAN: Are you serious? LUKE: Do you see a smile on my face? DEAN: No but what's different about that? LUKE: What's that supposed to mean? DEAN: It's just that you're not exactly known as the town crack up. LUKE: So you're a smart guy now huh? DEAN: What are you doing? LUKE: Just exercising my right not to serve you. DEAN: What are you talking about? I'm not even inside yet. [tries to get away but they end up wrestling] Let go of me! LUKE: You first. [Pan to inside] RORY: If you tell Miss Patty, everybody in town is gonna know. LORELAI: Honey people have their own lives and their own problems. I hardly think you and Dean breaking up is the main thing on their minds. [sees Luke and Dean wrestling outside] Oh my God! Oh! RORY: What? [sees them wrestling] Oh my God. [Lorelai and Rory run outside] LORELAI: Hey, hey, hey, cut it out! Break it up! [to Luke]You back off! Come here! What do you think you're doing?! LUKE: He started it! LORELAI: By doing what? LUKE: He was coming in. LORELAI: Are you a lunatic! He's 16! LUKE: Well what was I supposed to do?! LORELAI: Well stand in the middle of the street and have a slap fight of course! Come here! [taking him inside] RORY: [to Dean] Are you ok? DEAN: I'm fine. RORY: Oh good, I don't know what go into Luke. He's usually so - DEAN: I have to go. RORY: Oh sure, bye. [leaves as Luke follows him] LORELAI: Get inside now. Inside - now! LUKE: He started it. [goes inside.] LORELAI: Hey. RORY: Hey. LORELAI: So where's that list? RORY: What? LORELAI: The list, we've got a lot to do Missy, otherwise I'm gonna be dragging your butt outta bed at 6:00 again tomorrow morning. So, where do we start? RORY: [pulling out list] Well we need a soap dish for the kitchen LORELAI: Ah, a kitchen soap dish. Quite decadent but what the hell, let's go. CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE [Girls come in with bags] RORY: Well that was a very successful outing for us. LORELAI: Yes it was. RORY: We got everything on the list except for the brown extension cord. LORELAI: Which will be in on Tuesday. RORY: So I think that that qualifies as a check too. LORELAI: Are you happy? RORY: I appreciate a job well done, yeah. LORELAI: I can't wait to try the toaster pizza. It looks so gross which is usually the mark for a great junk food. RORY: Beefaroni. LORELAI: nough said. RORY: I'm gonna go plug in my new wall air freshener. Give me five minutes and then come sniff my room. LORELAI: Cheese or pepperoni? RORY: Whatever. [goes into her room and closes the door] LORELAI: Both. Good choice. [Babette enters] BABETTE: Hey Sugar, I just heard. Where is she? Poor little thing. Rory sweetie! LORELAI: Come on. [pulling her outside] BABETTE: What? Is she outside? LORELAI: Uh, well yeah. [outside] Babette I appreciate you coming over like this bur Rory's not really in a talking mood just now. BABETTE: But I can help. LORELAI: I know you can. BABETTE: I can tell her how you have to go through a lot of bad relationship's to get to that really good one. LORELAI: No, it's very good advice. BABETTE: Oh yeah and I can tell her about all the horrible men I've known in my day. LORELAI: Oh that'd be great. BABETTE: Really truly awful men. LORELAI: Babette. BABETTE: I was pushed out of a moving car once. LORELAI: Now that's a peppy little anecdote. [In the house, Rory comes out of her room and overhears them.] BABETTE: Let me tell her. LORELAI: Oh I want you to tell her all that but just not now. BABETTE: Is she really bad? LORELAI: She'll be fine. Really. [Rory goes back into her room and lies on the bed. Looks at her wrist where the bracelet that Dean made her used to be. She gets mad at herself for feeling that way and picks up her books to try and study. Madeline's party invitation slips out from some papers. She picks it up and goes out into the kitchen] LORELAI: [coming in] Oh they had some of our mail. RORY: Look [handing her the invition] LORELAI: Madeline's having a party. RORY: I'm going to go. LORELAI: You're going to a Chilton party? RORY: Yes I am. LORELAI: Honey, why don't you just stay home and read The bell jar'? Same effect. RORY: Hey, I'm going to be going to school there for the next two and a half years. It wouldn't kll me to be social right? What's wrong with that? LORELAI: Nothing. RORY: Ok then it's settled. LORELAI: Um, can I make a suggestion? RORY: Go ahead. LORELAI: Why don't you see if Lane can come with you? You know that way if the socializing doesn't turn out how you planned you got a friendly face around. RORY: Ok, good idea. Thank you. LORELAI: You're welcome. RORY: Can I take the car? LORELAI: Yes. RORY: Can I borrow something to wear? LORELAI: Yes. RORY: Are you gonna give in to anything I say because you feel sorry for me? LORELAI: Yes! RORY: I'll make a list. [Pan to that night. Rory and Lane getting ready.] RORY: Here, hand me that blush. LANE: Ok. RORY: Am I all twisty back here? LANE: Oh, a little. Here. [fixes dress] So how are you? RORY: I'm...fine. LANE: How are you really? RORY: Life goes on right? LANE: You know I saw Dean today. I wasn't sure if I should tell you. RORY: Why not? LANE: I mean I wasn't sure you'd want to know. RORY: No, that's fine. What'd he say? LANE: Nothing. He crossed the street as soon as I saw him. RORY: Oh. LANE: But if it's any consolation he looks really sad. RORY: I don't want him to be sad. LANE: Rory are you sure you want to go out tonight? RORY: Why does everyone keep asking me that? LANE: Because you just broke up. I mean I'd be perfectly fine to just hang out here and listen to music and talk, not talk, whatever. RORY: No, I am not hanging out. We are going to this party. It's gonna be great. I don't want to dwell on this. That's final. LORELAI: [entering room] Don't argue with her or you'll find yourself the proud owner of three garden weasels. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: Three cause one's just not enough. Here, turn around. RORY: Why? LORELAI: 14 hours of labor that's why. [clicks her tongue] RORY: Fine. LORELAI: And hair. [puts a necklace on Rory] RORY: What is this? LORELAI: I thought it would go with your dress and it does. RORY: It's pretty. LORELAI: Yeah it's really pretty. Here. Here is the phone and some mad money. If for any reason you think you're not going to be home by 12:00 you call me. LANE: Oh we'll be back by 12:00 LORELAI: Hi, call me. LANE: Sorry. LORELAI: Rory? RORY: The cornstarch. LORELAI: What? RORY: Um the cornstarch. The first time Dean kissed me he - I forgot to put it with the other things. I'll just throw it out. LORELAI: Hey why don't you let me do that, you guys get going ok? RORY: Ok. LORELAI: Ok, bye. Have fun. Ooh hey, look in somebody's sock drawer. Rich people have hilarious sock drawers. Be good. [Rory and Lane leave. Lorelai puts the cornstarch with the rest of the stuff and pulls down her Max box'] CUT TO SOOKIE'S LORELAI: Hey. SOOKIE: Hi, Lorelai, hey. LORELAI: I wanted to ask you - [Sookie runs back into the house] SOOKIE: Uh-huh, sure whatever. LORELAI: [left at the door] Sookie? Hello? Sookie honey. SOOKIE: Yeah. Hi, ah! How are you? [as she tries to look into the kitchen] LORELAI: Good, I'm fine, how's that xray vision coming? SOOKIE: Jackson's inside. LORELAI: Is he doing something dirty? SOOKIE: He's making me dinner. LORELAI: Oh! Oh that's so nice. SOOKIE: Yeah it is. It really is, it's sweet. I'm just - do you hear something? LORELAI: Like what? SOOKIE: Like someone using the wrong size pan to sweat the onions in. [knocks and chuckles] LORELAI: No, nothing like that. SOOKIE: Ok well maybe I'm hearing things. So hi, how are you? LORELAI: Fine. So I wanted to see - SOOKIE: Could you peek inside the kitchen for me and tell me if the orange cruse is on the left burner. LORELAI: Why don't you just go in there? SOOKIE: Yeah well now I would but Jackson kicked me out. LORELAI: He did. SOOKIE: Yes and he won't let me back in there and it's driving me crazy. LORELAI: Well maybe he just wants you to relax, I wouldn't mind that either actually. SOOKIE: Just take a peek for me will you? Tell him you want some water. And here. Take a picture for me. LORELAI: Oh Sookie. I am not spying on Jackson. SOOKIE: What if he's using the wrong spoon in the wrong sauce? LORELAI: Then the world as we know it will end. SOOKIE: I have to go in there. JACKSON: [bursting through the doors] You stay right where you are. SOOKIE: Jackson you're being unreasonable. JACKSON: Sookie when a person offers to make another person dinner because this person happens to be a chef and is always cooking for others, that is what happens to be a nice gesture. SOOKIE: Yes but - JACKSON: And when that person accepts the first person's offer, that means that the first person, the one who offered to cook, would actually be doing the cooking while the other person relaxed, had some wine and stayed out of the kitchen! SOOKIE: I wasn't cooking, I was suggesting. JACKSON: Well you suggested the ladle right out of my hand four times! SOOKIE: I had to skim the top of the sauce or it would've gotten all - JACKSON: Damn it Sookie, this is supposed to be romantic! SOOKIE: It is! JACKSON: Stay outta here. I am cooking this meal alone. I am also cleaning up alone. SOOKIE: No. JACKSON: Oh yes. SOOKIE: But you don't know how to load my dishwasher, I have a system. JACKSON: I'll wing it. [goes back into the kitchen] SOOKIE: There's a diagram in the pantry - use it. I'm begging you![yells from the doorway] JACKSON: I'm doing two loads, just because I can! LORELAI: Honey try and sit down and relax. It's nice what he's doing. SOOKIE: I know you're right. It is nice. Ok, alright...I'm sitting, I'm relaxing, I'm focusing on you. LORELAI: Good. Um actually I wanted to ask you a favour. SOOKIE: What? LORELAI: Could I take your car for a little while, Rory's got mine and there's something I want to do. SOOKIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah of course. What's so important? LORELAI: Oh um, I'll tell you later. SOOKIE: It sounds serious. LORELAI: I'll have it back to you as soon as I can. SOOKIE: Take your time, I'm in for the night. LORELAI: Ok, bye hon. SOOKIE: Bye. [sighs. There's a crash in the kitchen] What happened?! What did you do? CUT TO MAX'S APARTMENT LORELAI: Hi. MAX: Lorelai what... LORELAI: Rory and Dean broke up. MAX: Oh, well, I'm sorry. Rory - LORELAI: Yeah, Rory and Dean broke up and um, she won't wallow. And I told her that she should wallow you know because that's supposed to help you get through the pain and then you can accept it and then you can get over somebody and you can move on with your life. And then she asked me how long it was before I got over you and I didn't know what to say you know because I can't lie to her, and I realized that if I gave her any time frame at all I would be lying because I'm not over you and I don't know how long it will be before I am. And who am I to be teaching her about healing and moving on and breakups any how. I mean I might as well be teaching her how to eat fre or swallow a sword or put her legs behind her head you know, because at least that's a trade. I mean the first two are, I don't know about putting the legs um, behind your head, but the point is that I'm an idiot and I'm a hypocrite and I really miss you. MAX: Do you want to come in? LORELAI: Yes please. CUT TO MADELINE'S HOUSE LANE: Wow, this is unbelievable. My wedding won't be this big. RORY: Yeah. LORELAI: This is amazing! People live here? RORY: This is Madeline's house. LANE: Is this what your grandparents house looks like? RORY: No. I mean it's big but it's not this Hearst castlely. LANE: I mean there should be a map or a tour guide or Robin Leech or something. RORY: Hey Lane. LANE: Yeah? RORY: Thanks for coming with me. LANE: Anytime. Oh my God, there's a pool table. RORY: And a deejay. LANE: It's like a teenage Sodom and Gommarah. MADELINE: You came! RORY: Yeah. LOUISE: Who's watching the farm? RORY: Madeline you house is beautiful. MADELINE: Thanks it's my stepfather's. LOUISE: So where is he? MADELINE: My stepfather? He's in Japan. LOUISE: No not your stepfather. Prince Charming? RORY: He didn't come. LOUISE: Why? RORY: His white horse was in the shop. LOUISE: You guys didn't break up did you? LANE: Hi, I'm Lane. LOUISE: As in walk down a...'? LANE: Yes exactly. MADELINE: Hi I'm Madeline. [two guys come up and wrap their arms around Louise and Madeline.] GUY: So when does the tour of the pool house start? MADELINE: You've seen the pool house before. LOUISE: Yes but they haven't seen it at night right? GUY: Right. MADELINE: But - LOUISE: Madeline, you are not confused. Think. Process. Focus. MADELINE: Oh! Bye! LOUISE: Later Paris. PARIS: No glove no love. LOUISE: Lovely. PARIS: So I didn't think you were much of a party girl. RORY: I'm not usually but I thought I might come by and check it out. PARIS: Same exact people we see at school except now we get to see them dance. So where is your boyfriend? RORY: We, um, we broke up. PARIS: Oh. Well at least you had a boyfriend for a while. RORY: So do you know, um, which way would lead us to some soda? PARIS: Keep up because I'm not turning around. LANE: Wow, you didn't exaggerate. RORY: Paris needs no embellishments. LANE: All this soda is French. PARIS: Madeline's mother has a French fetish. She's obsessed with all things French. French wine, French food, French water, French cellulite products. TRISTIN: Look why won't you answer me? SUMMER: Because you didn't say 'please'. TRISTIN: Summer. SUMMER: Can we do this later? There's a party going on. TRISTIN: Just tell me what you were doing locked in the bathroom with Austin. SUMMER: Nothing. TRISTIN: Nothing? SUMMER: Yup. TRISTIN: No. SUMMER: Well why don't you tell me what I was doing since you seem to know everything. TRISTIN: Hey you are my girlfriend. SUMMER: Ooh now he's a caveman. What are you doing to do, know me on the back of my head with a club and then drag me back to your Porsche? TRISTIN: Summer please. SUMMER: Ooh, good song. [turns around and dances. Tristin looks around the room then leaves.] PARIS: I just love that Summer don't you? 9:45. RORY: Why do you keep checking your watch? PARIS: My mom says I have to stay until 10:30. RORY: Why would she care? PARIS: She thinks I'm not enough of a people person. Shocking huh? RORY: I'm floored. PARIS: Yeah well, I doubt highly that Madam Curie was voted most likely to dress like Jennifer Lopez. RORY: You want to be a scientist? PARIS: Cancer research. RORY: Cool. PARIS: Yeah. LANE: Oh no. RORY: What? LANE: It just figures that the only Korean boy at this party has his Korean girl radar turned on. HENRY: Hi. LANE: Hi. HENRY: I'm Henry. LANE: I'm Lane. This is Rory and Paris. PARIS: We've met. HENRY: Paris. So would you like to dance? LANE: Oh well we're talking here. HENRY: Oh yeah, but I mean one dance? You can put the conversation on hold for one dance right? Unless this is a mid-east peace talk kind of conversation. LANE: One dance. HENRY: A short one. No crazy dance mixes. LANE: Ok. HENRY: Thank you. LANE: [taking off her coat and handing it to Rory whispers] If I'm not back in one dance you're coming down with a really bad case of anything that means we had to go home. RORY: Whoa is it getting warm here or is it just me? LANE: Thank you. PARIS: Unbelievable! She's here five minutes she has a date. I've been going to this school nine years and I'm the French soda monitor. [Rory walks around and finds a place to put her and Lane's coats. She walks around the house and sees Tristin leaning again a wall watching Summer dance with some guy. She watches him for a second then moves on.] CUT TO MAX'S [Lorelai and Max are kissing] LORELAI: Just in case this comes up later, I did not come here for this. MAX: Ok, go it. LORELAI: Ok. MAX: Oh this is crazy! [separating] LORELAI: No it is, it's nuts. It's nuts. MAX: I mean I don't see you for months and then all of a sudden - LORELAI: Ding-dong Avon lady. MAX: It's insane. LORELAI: Completely. [they kiss again] You do that so good. MAX: [stopping again] Ok, we've got to get a grip here. LORELAI: I thought that's what we were doing. MAX: You know you're going to sit over there on that couch. LORELAI: Fine. MAX: And I'm gonna sit here on this - on this chair...far away from the couch. And I'm gonna put this table right in between us just like that. Good. Ok. And we're gonna sit here and talk about this calmly. LORELAI: Sounds good. MAX: How you been? LORELAI: Good, really good. MAX: Oh you look really good. LORELAI: So do you. MAX: I missed you. LORELAI: Oh I'm glad. Otherwise that greeting there would've been a little innappropriate. MAX: You know actually, I've been thinking about us lately. LORELAI: You have? MAX: Haven't you? LORELAI: No. MAX: No? LORELAI: No. I haven't given it any thought at all. MAX: I'm flattered. LORELAI: No, I needed not to give it any thought at all otherwise I would give it too much thought and that would be hard and so I just didn't deal. Like mother like daughter I guess. MAX: Oh I understand. LORELAI: So, with all the thought you've been giving it, have you come up with any great solutions? MAX: No. You're still Rory's mom and I'm still her teacher and we're still us. I got nothing. LORELAI: Oh. MAX: Yeah. LORELAI: So nothing's changed. MAX: Nothing's changed. LORELAI: So I guess my coming here was probably a bad idea. MAX: Probably. [tosses table] Oh screw this. [they stand up and kiss again] CUT TO MADELINE'S [Rory walking around. She sees Lane] RORY: [whispers] Hey am I sick yet? LANE: Not yet. It actually might just be allergies. RORY: Keep me posted. PARIS: My watched stopped, what time is it? RORY: It's 10:35. PARIS: Yes, bye. [runs out of the house. Rory finds a quieter room and sits down and starts to read.] SUMMER: Tristin stop it. TRISTIN: You're making me chase you around the whole party. SUMMER: Just trying t have fun. TRISTIN: Ok you won't talk to me, you won't dance with me, why the hell did you even come with me?! SUMMER: Stop yelling. TRISTIN: Summer please. Can we just go? SUMMER: No. TRISTIN: Please. SUMMER: No. I'm sick of fighting with you. I'm sick of hearing 20 times a day You're my girlfriend'. TRISTIN: Ok could we possibly do this somewhere were a roomful of people aren't staring at us? SUMMER: I think we should break up. TRISTIN: Ok, I really want to go outside and talk about this. SUMMER: Then go, bye. [she leaves] TRISTIN: Summer come on! [Looks around, sees Rory who looks down at her book and he leaves.] [Lane enters the room] LANE: I have a major problem. RORY: What? LANE: Henry, the guy I've been dancing with? RORY: Yeah? LANE: Ok so he's really good in school, he's going to be a doctor - pediatrician to be exact, his parents are extremely involved in their local church. He himself helps out with Sunday school. He speaks Korean fluently, he respects his parents and he's also really cute, very funny and surprisingly interesting. RORY: Lane I'm sorry, but I'm totally failing to see the problem here. LANE: I'm falling for a guy my parents would approve of! They'd love him, they'd go crazy! There'd be dancing in the Kim house! Dancing! RORY: Really? LANE: Followed by a lot of praying but initially there'd be dancing. This is horrible. This can't happen. I have to stop it. We have to go. RORY: But uh - LANE: No now! You need to grab your stuff, we gotta go. RORY: Ok, yeah, ok. Whatever you say. HENRY: Hey. LANE: Henry, hi. HENRY: [to Rory] Sorry I've been monopolizing Lane all night. RORY: Oh no, that's ok. I've had her for 15 years. I'm actually a little sick of her. LANE: Thank you. RORY: Yeah you're welcome. Um we should go. HENRY: [to Lane] Oh you're going? LANE: Oh well - RORY: Yeah. I have to get home - I have a very strict mother. HENRY: Oh wow, sorry about that. You couldn't even stay for one more dance huh? RORY: Yeah I don't think that - LANE: Yes. RORY: Excuse me? LANE: One dance would be fine. HENRY: Great. RORY: But - LANE: I'll be back. CUT TO MAX'S [Lorelai and Max in bed] LORELAI: Well I certainly did not come over here for that. MAX: I know. LORELAI: You are a wonderful man. MAX: I know. So...what happens now. LORELAI: I don't know. It's late. I have to get Sookie's car back. MAX: Whoa, whoa, whoa wait a second. So this is it? You leave and we forget that this ever happened? LORELAI: No. MAX: Then what? LORELAI: I leave and we go on with our lives and then at some point we buy some soup. MAX: Lorelai... LORELAI: What? Soup is good food. MAX: Stop. LORELAI: I don't want to leave here and forget this ever happened. I want to think of a solution that will make everything better. And I've been wracking my brain for an idea. Hence the babbling about soup being good food. But I can't think of anything. MAX: I think we should talk. LORELAI: What? MAX: On the phone - you and me about us on a regular basis. LORELAI: But - MAX: We are not going to solve this staying away from each other. LORELAI: No we're not. MAX: And obviously we're not going to solve this by not staying away from each other. LORELAI: But we'll burn more calories. MAX: I want to solve this. LORELAI: So do I. MAX: So we'll talk? LORELAI: We'll talk. [they kiss] Hey I thought we were supposed to be talking. MAX: There's plenty of time for talk. [they kiss again] CUT TO MADELINE'S [Rory walks into a room and finds Tristin sitting at the piano] RORY: Oh sorry. TRISTIN: No problem. RORY: I'm sorry. TRISTIN: About what? RORY: About you and Summer. TRISTIN: I don't want to talk about Summer. RORY: Ok. How'd you do on that biology test? TRISTIN: What? RORY: The test. It was hard wasn't it? TRISTIN: Yeah it was hard. RORY: I got a B+ TRISTIN: What are you doing? RORY: Talking about the test. TRISTIN: Why? RORY: Because you said you didn't want to talk about Summer. TRISTIN: I don't. RORY: Ok, so I moved to biology. Sorry did you want to talk about spanish? TRISTIN: You just loved it, didn't you? RORY: Loved what? TRISTIN: Seeing me get nailed like that. Must have been a great moment. RORY: Not really. TRISTIN: Please. You loved it, she loved it, everybody loved it. RORY: I did not love it. TRISTIN: I really liked her too. RORY: Yeah I know. TRISTIN: So where's your boyfriend tonight? RORY: He's...not my boyfriend anymore. TRISTIN: Why not? RORY: He didn't want to be. TRISTIN: Idiot. RORY: So's Summer. TRISTIN: You think you'll get back together? RORY: He was pretty set in his decision. TRISTIN: When did it happen? RORY: Yesterday. TRISTIN: Wow. RORY: It was our three month anniversary. TRISTIN: That sucks. RORY: Yeah it does suck. Do you think you guys will? TRISTIN: No, no. No, no, no, no, no. RORY: So no? TRISTIN: No. Hey, I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time for a while. RORY: Oh that's ok. TRISTIN: It is? RORY: Well no, but you're sad. TRISTIN: Yeah well. I am sorry. RORY: I accept your apology. TRISTIN: Oh man, it's a great party huh? RORY: Yeah not bad. It gave me a chance to catch up on my reading. TRISTIN: You are very odd, you know that? RORY: Thank you. TRISTIN: You're welcome. [he kisses her. Rory pulls away crying] I'm sorry, what did I do? Did I bite your lip or something? RORY: No it's not you. It's just - I have to go. [runs out crying.] [Finds Lane] RORY: We have to go. LANE: Rory are you ok? [turns to Henry] I have to go. HENRY: Well wait, can I get your number? LANE: Last name's Kim and we're the only ones in Stars Hollow. [walking away] I can't believe I just came my number to a potential Korean doctor. CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE [Lorelai walks in with a small smile on her face to find Rory sitting on the couch crying eating out of a large bucket of ice cream.] RORY: I'm ready to wallow now. LORELAI: Oh. [Sits on the couch next to her and kisses Rory. She puts a pillow on her lap and Rory lays down and sobs. Lorelai picks up the phone and dials] Hey Joe it's Lorelai. I need a pizza with everything ok? Thanks.	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x17 - The Breakup Part 2"}	foreverdreaming
1.18 - The Third Lorelai written by Amy Sherman-Palladino directed by Michael Katleman CUT TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE [Lorelai, Rory and Grandma sitting at the dinner table] GRANDMA: Everyone's awfully quiet tonight. LORELAI: Sorry Mom, I'm just tired. RORY: Me too - school. LORELAI: Work. RORY: Life. LORELAI: Dig it man. RORY: Peace out Humphrey. GRANDMA: Mystery. [pause] Well this is just ridiculous. Three intelligent women sitting here in complete silence. There must be something to talk about. Do you know that every night at dinner, the Kennedy clan would sit around the table having lively debates about everything under the sun? They would quiz each other about current events, historical facts, intellectual trivia. Now the Gilmore clan is just as smart and worldly as the Kennedy's so come on - somebody - say something. LORELAI: Do you know that butt models make $10,000 a day? [Rory chuckles] GRANDMA: Camelot is truly dad. GRANDPA: Emily! GRANDMA: In here, just follow the crickets. GRANDPA: I am sorry I'm late, but I come bearing wonderful news. GRANDMA: Siri bring Mr. Gilmore a plate! [getting up and following him to his seat] GRANDPA: I just got off the phone. GRANDMA: Would you like to change first? GRANDPA: No, no, no I'm fine. So I - GRANDMA: Siri, Mr. Gilmore is hungry! [placing napkin in his lap] GRANDPA: Emily, I am perfectly capable of putting a napkin on my lap. GRANDMA: Alright I'm sorry. You were on the phone. GRANDPA: Long distance. LORELAI: God? GRANDPA: London. LORELAI: God lives in London? GRANDPA: My mother lives in London. LORELAI: Your mother is God? GRANDPA: Lorelai. LORELAI: So, God is a woman... GRANDPA: Lorelai. GRANDPA: And a relative, that's so cool. I'm gonna totally ask for favors. GRANDPA: [to Rory] Make her stop. RORY: Oh that I could. GRANDMA: You spoke to your mother. GRANDPA: Yes I did. She's fine, she sends her love and...she's coming to visit. GRANDMA: What? LORELAI: You're kidding? GRANDMA: When? RORY: I'm gonna get to meet my great-grandma? GRANDPA: Lorelai I. GRANDMA: When? LORELAI: I was named after her. RORY: I figured. GRANDMA: Richard when? GRANDPA: You're going to love her. My mother is brilliant, absolutely brilliant. LORELAI: We share that also. GRANDMA: I'm asking a question here, does no one hear me? Am I suddenly invisible? GRANDPA: I'm sorry. What was the question? GRANDMA: When is your mother arriving? GRANDPA: A week from today. Rory, I'm telling you, it's going to be such a treat. GRANDMA: Excuse me. [leaves] LORELAI: I still can't get over that I'm related to God. It's gonna make getting Madonna tickets so much easier. [Pan to basement] LORELAI: Mom? Mom? GRANDMA: It's just like that woman, no warnings, no discussions, then out of the blue I'm coming next week'. LORELAI: What are you doing? GRANDMA: I have to unpack these things. LORELAI: What things? Excuse me boys [to statue of two dogs] GRANDMA: I have to get out everything she's ever given us. 35 years worth of fish lamps and dog statues, lion tables and stupid naked angels with their...butts! LORELAI: Whoa! Stupid naked angel butts? What did David Manic just stop by. GRANDMA: Leave please. LORELAI: Mom calm down. GRANDMA: I can't calm down! That lamp shade is missing, the china is cracked and I can't remember which table it is that she gave us for our 10 year anniversary! LORELAI: Mother, Grandma is a very old woman, I highly doubt that she's going to remember everything she ever bought you. GRANDMA: She will remember down to the very last shrimp fork and do you know why? LORELAI: No. [to dogs] Do you guys know why? GRANDMA: Because she doesn't just give you a present, she gives' you a present and she tells you where to put it, how to use it, what it costs - for insurance purposes of course - and God forbid you should have a different opinion or you don't think it works in the space or you just get tired of waking up every morning with those horrifying animals staring at you! LORELAI: [to dogs] She's just upset. GRANDMA: Stop talking to the dogs! LORELAI: Mom! You're freaking out. I've never seen you freak out before. GRANDMA: Yes you have you were 12, it was the last time that horrible woman came to visit. [tries to pull a rug off a shelf.] LORELAI: Do you want some help? GRANDMA: No! [sighs] Please. LORELAI: Where's it going? GRANDMA: Third floor. LORELAI: How about second floor? GRANDMA: Third floor. LORELAI: How about first floor on a ladder? CUT TO INSIDE CAR RORY: So tell me more about her. LORELAI: I don't really know that much. RORY: Well you know more than I do. LORELAI: Well let's see. She moved to London when Grandpa died but she didn't like to travel so once a year Mom and Dad would go to visit her, usually leaving me behind, much to my relief by the way, and that's it. The rest I know from stories just like you. RORY: Grandpa says I remind him of her. LORELAI: That is the biggest compliment that can be wrenched out of Grumpy McFarlen believe me. RORY: I hope she likes me. LORELAI: She'll love you. RORY: I hope she and Grandma get along. LORELAI: She'll love you. CUT TO CHILTON [Paris, Madeline, Louise, Tristin, Rory and two other guys sitting in a circle working] PARIS: I think that the basic structure of the Elizabethan government is relatively sound. The division of power between the monarchy, the privy council and the parliament all seem to work. Agreed? MADELINE: Agreed. LOUISE: Ditto. PARIS: Ok, so in establishing our own government, I think duplicating a similar structure would be good, with a few alterations. Queen Elizabeth chose to remain unwed. She took on the burden of leadership all by herself at a time when possibly marrying the Prince of France or the King of Spain would solidify her thrown while expanding her empire. And though it obviously worked for her, and the concept of a woman ruling without man is certainly politically correct these days, I think we need to take a different tact. [in the background while Louise and Madeline talk] I think we need to devise a nation with a truly solidified royal alliance... MADELINE: [over Paris] She does know this is a make belief government right? LOUISE: [over Paris] You ask her, I'm afraid. PARIS: [in foreground] So in addition to the different political branches, we'll also need a King and Queen. Rory, Tristin, what about you? TRISTIN: Us? RORY: Oh. TRISTIN: No. RORY: Yes, no. PARIS: Why? TRISTIN: Because.. RORY: I just don't want to be queen. TRISTIN: Me either [pause] King - I don't want to be king. RORY: What about you? You be queen. PARIS: I'm going to be head of Parliament. I can't be queen. RORY: Be both. PARIS: I can't be both. RORY: Why not? It's our government. PARIS: It's not done that way. RORY: It can be though, let's vote. PARIS: Rory. RORY: Henry VIII started a new church when the old one wouldn't allow divorce. PARIS: He also cut off his wife's head. Is he still your role model? RORY: I'm just saying we have the opportunity to make any kind of government we want here. PARIS: Why won't you be queen? MADELINE: I'll be queen. RORY: There, make Madeline queen. PARIS: Fine, you're queen, Tristin's king. LOUISE: I'll be the lady-in-waiting. The one with the low-cut blue velvet renaissance dress. PARIS: Lady-in-waiting is not a political office. LOUISE: No but they get all the sex. PARIS: What? LOUISE: Watch a movie. PARIS: We are talking about government class not the movies. God why can't I get one person to care about this as much as I do?! LOUISE: Ok fine. I'll be the head of the Quarter Sessions court, but I'm still wearing the dress. Happy? PARIS: Out of my mind. Ok, so, I secured us the class room to work tomorrow and Sunday so that by Monday we'll be ready. MADELINE: We're working all weekend? LOUISE: You're kidding. [Bell rings] PARIS: Take this. It's an outline for the entire system - point of methods, some basic laws and penalties plus some random ideas. Please be ready to discuss it tomorrow 9:00 in the morning, don't be late. MADELINE: Wow, she designed the flag. PARIS: [in the hallway] Question. RORY: Ok. PARIS: What's up with you and Tristin? RORY: What do you mean? PARIS: You just seem weird around each other. RORY: Nope, no weirder than usual. PARIS: I disagree. RORY: You usually do. PARIS: I just think it's strange that you don't wanna be queen. RORY: You know, not all girls want to be queen Paris. Even Barbie ended up being a stewardess. PARIS: Ok, if you say so. Read my manifesto, I want your thoughts. RORY: First thought - lose the word manifesto'. PARIS: Too cabin-in-the-woods? RORY: Don't open your mail. PARIS: Right. How about doctrine? RORY: Better. PARIS: Ok, see you tomorrow. RORY: Bye. [realizes she left her notebook and heads back to the classroom. She runs into Tristin] TRISTIN: Uh...you left this [handing her her notebook.] RORY: Oh yeah I did. Thanks. TRISTIN: Sure. [both try to go through the doorway together and backup] RORY: Well, that could have been a potential Marx Brothers moment. TRISTIN: You go first. RORY: Ok. [starts to exit but then turns back] I think we need to talk. TRISTIN: About what? RORY: Tristin you know about what? TRISTIN: No I don't. RORY: Look, we have a lot of work ahead of us. We also have about two and a half years of being in the same school. I don't want things to be weird between us. Don't you think it'd be good to at least try to talk about this? TRISTIN: Ok. RORY: Good. [They both try to go through the doorway at the same time again] I'm gonna go first. TRISTIN: Right [chuckles] CUT TO INN LORELAI: Ugh! It's still not working. MICHEL: Well you did something wrong. LORELAI: I didn't do anything wrong. I did the same thing I always do when I'm pulling up reservations for the upcoming month but nothing happened. MICHEL: You typed in the name? LORELAI: I typed in the name. MICHEL: You clicked on the April 5? LORELAI: I clicked on the April 5. MICHEL: You double clicked on confirmation? LORELAI: I double clicked. MICHEL: Are you sure? LORELAI: Yes I double clicked. MICHEL: You clicked twice. LORELAI: No I double clicked but I didn't click twice. MICHEL: Because to successfully double click you must click twice. LORELAI: I know what double click is. MICHEL: Well apparently you do not or we wouldn't be having this conversation. LORELAI: Ooh, I'm going to pinch you so hard right now. MICHEL: Well I don't know what you have done! LORELAI: Well - ah! [as Michel pushes her out of the way] MICHEL: Well I can't fix it if you don't move. LORELAI: I double clicked. [as Michel starts to type] Ooh, what's that? MICHEL: What? LORELAI: That flashy red thing [speaks at the same time as Michel] with an x' through it. MICHEL: [speaks at the same time as Lorelai] I do not know. LORELAI: Ooh, it happened when you pushed something funky. MICHEL: I pushed nothing funky'. LORELAI: You have the funk my friend. [phone rings] Independence Inn. GRANDMA: I need the hat rack. LORELAI: [whispers] The fish flies at night. GRANDMA: What? LORELAI: I don't know, who is this? GRANDMA: This is your mother. LORELAI: Oh well hi Mom, I didn't recognize your voice. GRANDMA: I need the hat rack back. LORELAI: What hat rack? GRANDMA: The hat rack I gave you. LORELAI: What hat rack? GRANDMA: The hat rack I gave you for Christmas five years ago. LORELAI: Uh, well... GRANDMA: It's large, bronze with dragons or weasels - I don't know, some sort of lizard type animal that you hang your coats on. LORELAI: Yes, yes, I remember it. GRANDMA: Thank God. I need it back. LORELAI: You need a Christmas present back? GRANDMA: Temporarily. LORELAI: Why Mom? GRANDMA: I need it back because Richard's mother gave it to us and she'll notice if it's not there. LORELAI: You gave me a used present? GRANDMA: No, we never used it. LORELAI: I can't believe it. GRANDMA: You'll get it back. LORELAI: You gave me a second hand present, like something you got at the junk store. GRANDMA: You're being a little dramatic. It was still in the crate. LORELAI: You actually went Huh, what should I get Lorelai this year. You know what, I can't be bothered. Let's give her something we don't want anymore.' GRANDMA: You're not funny. LORELAI: What would Miss Manners say about this? GRANDMA: If she met your grandmother she'd understand. Now please, just bring the rack with you when you come tonight ok? LORELAI: [sighing] Ok, sure. GRANDMA: Thank you. LORELAI: You're welcome. Bye. CUT TO OUTSIDE CHILTON TRISTIN: [sighs] So we're supposed to talk. RORY: Yeah. Look about the other night. TRISTIN: Look, I was upset over Summer. RORY: Yes and I was upset over Dean. TRISTIN: So, then it doesn't mean anything right? RORY: Right. TRISTIN: So then - right, so then that's it. We just chalk it up to a bad night. RORY: Ok. I'm sorry I cried. TRISTIN: No problem. RORY: I swear it had nothing to do with the kiss. TRISTIN: I kissed you, you cried. That had to do something with the kiss. RORY: No, I cried because I was confused. Because I hadn't cried. I didn't cry because of the kiss. It was a nice kiss. TRISTIN: Yeah? RORY: Very nice. Not at all crying material. TRISTIN: Really? RORY: Absolutely. TRISTIN: Wanna try it again? RORY: Well I think someone's recovering from their heartbreak just fine. TRISTIN: Yeah I'm all better. [small pause] I think I'm going to swear off girls for a while. RORY: Ha! TRISTIN: What? RORY: Uh, sorry, nothing. You said you were going to swear off girls - it's funny. TRISTIN: You don't think I can? RORY: No I think you can, I just think it would be hard for you. It'd probably involve some kind of lock up facility, one of those Hannibal Lector masks. TRISTIN: Ok yes, it would be hard but not impossible. RORY: Maybe it's not so much swearing off all girls but swearing off a certain kind of girl. TRISTIN: Meaning? RORY: Meaning next time maybe you should pick a girl with a little more substance. You know, a girl who's smart and is driven and has ambition. You know like Paris. TRISTIN: Are you serious? RORY: Yeah why not? Paris is smart and cute and interesting and yes she does bring her own unique set of baggage into the mix. TRISTIN: A matching set. RORY: But she likes you. She's crazy about you. She thinks you're amazing. TRISTIN: You want me to date Paris? RORY: Just think about it. TRISTIN: [exhales loudly] Me and Paris. RORY: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship. TRISTIN: Who's Louis? RORY: Just think. [leaves] CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE. LORELAI: [sighs] Come on, let's go. RORY: Relax, I'm almost ready. LORELAI: We're gonna be late. RORY: No we're not. LORELAI: Well it's Friday night and traffic's bad on Friday night. RORY: Since when? LORELAI: Since the beginning of time. Here let me do that. [puts on necklace for Rory] RORY: What's up with you? LORELAI: Nothing. RORY: You've been ready and bugging me for almost an hour. Usually I have to drag you out of here kicking and screaming to go to dinner. LORELAI: Now then. RORY: You whine, you complain, you act like a child. LORELAI: I do not. RORY: I had to pay you five bucks once so you wouldn't go in sweats. LORELAI: Make your point and make it fast, as we move quickly to the front door. RORY: My point is that you are mean. LORELAI: I am not mean. RORY: You are. You want to go to dinner to see Grandma uncomfortable, that's mean. LORELAI: Oh, ok, look. I will admit, I work very hard and sometimes I am a little tired come Friday night for the Gilmore family dinner. But I had a light day today and my grandmother who I have not seen for years is going to be there. RORY: And it has nothing to do with the fact that Grandma hates Great-grandma? LORELAI: Not at all. RORY: And when you see Grandma miserable and uncomfortable you're going to be sad and sympathetic? LORELAI: Not at all. RORY: Mean. LORELAI: I'm kidding. RORY: I want you to be nice. LORELAI: I will be nice. RORY: And no outward reveling in someone else's pain. LORELAI: I promise, internal reveling only. RORY: Ok then, we can go. LORELAI: Ok good. Oh wait [grabs a camera] So the internal reveling can continue for years to come. RORY: Mean. LORELAI: Ha! CUT TO INSIDE CAR [Lorelai starts to laugh to herself.] RORY: Mean, mean, mean. CUT TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE [Lorelai and Rory are carrying the hat rack] RORY: God, this thing weighs like a 1000 pounds. LORELAI: I know, I know. Here, put down. RORY: What are we doing? LORELAI: Well, in case Gran comes to the door you know. RORY: Good thinking. LORELAI: I mean she's 80. The eyes have got to be gone right? RORY: Let's just try to keep her inside the house. LORELAI: Good thinking [knocks] GRANDMA: Do you have it? LORELAI: We got it. GRANDMA: Hurry up, bring it in here. LORELAI: Ah! RORY: Sorry. GRANDMA: Ok, quiet, be quiet. LORELAI: Ok mom, thanks for the direction and all but, um, we need some help. GRANDMA: Oh yeah sorry. LORELAI: [to Rory] Careful honey. GRANDMA: Watch it, watch your head. Get it over here. Ok yes, yeah I think that was about - no I think it was maybe a little more on the left. Oh God I should have put tape down. LORELAI: Mom, you don't think that the coat rack could've moved a quarter of an inch in five years? GRANDMA: Yeah you're right. That's it. Ok, put your coats on it. LORELAI: How'd you get her in here without her noticing it wasn't there? GRANDMA: Well I brought her in through the back way then I had Stella wax the floors, also she napped so that took up about an hour. RORY: Where is she now? GRANDMA: In the living room scratching the diamond pendant I bought her against a mirror. LORELAI: So we shouldn't keep her waiting huh? GRANDMA: No you're right, we shouldn't. Oh, heaven help me! [they head for the living room. Lorelai chuckles.] RORY: Stop. GRANDMA: Mom, look who's here? TRIX: Who? GRANDMA: Well, look. TRIX: If I wanted to look, I would look. I haven't looked therefore you must draw your own conclusions. Ah, thank you, dear boy. [Grandpa gives her a drink] GRANDPA: You're welcome Trix. RORY: Trix? LORELAI: Dad's pet name for Gran. GRANDMA: Isn't it just darling? LORELAI: Hi Gran. TRIX: Lorelai. LORELAI: Yes, it's so good to see you again. GRANDPA: Trix, this is Rory. You haven't met her yet. TRIX: No, I don't believe I have. RORY: Hello. TRIX: Come. I want to get a very good look at both of you. They're tall. GRANDPA: Well yes they are. TRIX: How's your health? LORELAI: Oh, good. RORY: Very healthy. LORELAI: Mm-hmm. TRIX: Good. That means that the majority of your blood is Gilmore blood. Gilmore's don't get sick. Am I right Richard? GRANDPA: Oh we wouldn't dare Trix. TRIX: That's right. Your mother is always sick. GRANDMA: I'm hardly always sick. TRIX: You're sick right now. LORELAI: Are you sick now Mom? GRANDMA: Headache. TRIX: Gilmore's don't have headaches, our heads are perfect. You don't drink? LORELAI: Uh, well... TRIX: Emily, get this woman a drink. GRANDPA: Oh I'll do it. LORELAI: Oh thanks Dad. White wine. GRANDMA: I'm going to go get the hors d'ouevres. TRIX: So you're Rory. RORY: Yes ma'am. TRIX: My son speaks of you constantly. He seems very fond of you. RORY: Oh well I'm very fond of him too. GRANDPA: This little girl is as smart as a whip Mom. I think she has a great deal of you in her. TRIX: Really? GRANDPA: Mm-hmm. TRIX: How nice. [Grandma enters with a tray of cheese] Is this cheese? GRANDMA: Yes it is. TRIX: Am I supposed to eat that cheese? GRANDMA: Well only if you like. GRANDPA: Emily, where are those spiced nuts that Trix likes so much? GRANDMA: I'll get some. TRIX: So Lorelai, since I've seen you last, you've grown up, gotten pregnant out of wedlock, raised a child and still haven't bothered to get married. Have I left anything out? LORELAI: Well sometime in between growing up and getting pregnant, I got my ears pierced. TRIX: I've always hated a scandal. However I've always appreciated self-sufficiency. Tell me, how do you support this child? LORELAI: I run an inn. TRIX: Hard work? LORELAI: Yes it is. TRIX: Good. Hard work is good for a woman - makes her stronger. I admire people who enjoy hard work. GRANDMA: Here we go, spiced nuts. TRIX: Thank you Emily. I suppose I can just put these nuts in my hand. GRANDMA: I'll be right back. LORELAI: So Gran, um, when was the last time I saw you? TRIX: You were still in your teens, wild hair flying everywhere. I see you've taken care of that. LORELAI: Yes, I joined a support group, bought a hair brush and just taking it one day at a time. TRIX: That was a joke? LORELAI: Yes it is. TRIX: Very good. LORELAI: Thank you. GRANDMA: I have dishes and napkins. TRIX: Good for you. Richard, I would like to be escorted into the dining room now. GRANDPA: Your wish is my command. GRANDMA: Well, uh, I'm not sure that dinner is ready just yet. TRIX: Well perhaps our presence in the dining room will teach your help that when one is told dinner is at 7:00, people often expects dinner at 7:00. GRANDMA: But it's only five after Mom. TRIX: Only five after? Richard, in the even that I am kidnapped and a ransom is demanded at a certain time, I would prefer that Emily not be in charge of the drop off. [Lorelai and Rory get up and follow. Lorelai gives Emily a what can you do' shoulder shrug] [Pan to later that evening.] RORY: Grandma, this dinner's delicious. TRIX: Very good young lady, well all believe you. Now, let's talk about your education. Where are you attending school? RORY: Chilton. GRANDPA: Rory is in the top ten percent of her class. GRANDMA: We're very proud of our Rory. She's going to Harvard. TRIX: Harvard? RORY: Yes ma'am. TRIX: Richard, how can you allow this girl to go to Harvard?! GRANDPA: Now Trix - TRIX: You're a Yale man, your father was a Yale man! LORELAI: Well we want Rory to be whatever kind of man she wants to be. TRIX: That's enough jokes for this evening Lorelai. LORELAI: Sorry. TRIX: Now if you don't mind my asking, Chilton is rather an expensive institution, I'm curious how the manager of an inn can afford such a luxury? LORELAI: Ah well... GRANDMA: We're helping Lorelai out a little. GRANDPA: Yes, we've seen to it that Rory's education is taken care of. LORELAI: But it's temporary. It's a loan. I plan to pay them back every cent. They know this. TRIX: That's it, I'm done. Richard. Tomorrow, Rory, I shall plan the menu. When you've lived in Europe you learn a thing or two about food. RORY: Oh, I can't. I'm studying tomorrow. I'm in a study group and our presentation is due on Monday TRIX: Oh very well, your mother can tell you all about it. LORELAI: I will, I promise. GRANDMA: Won't you have dessert? TRIX: I once traveled to a small village in Cambodia, I did not eat dessert there either. CUT TO CHILTON [Louise is laying across several desks with her eyes closed] LOUISE: What time is it? MADELINE: It's almost nine. Hey maybe I'll own a magazine some day. Then I'll get all my nail polish for free. LOUISE: I'm going back to sleep. Tell Paris I hate her. MADELINE: Ok. PARIS: Hi. MADELINE: Hey Paris. Louise hates you. PARIS: You'll thank me when you get into Sarah Lawrence. LOUISE: Wanna bet? RORY: Hey. MADELINE: Wow, did you bring coffee? RORY: And doughnuts in the shape of clowns. MADELINE: Hey they've got hats. RORY: Well a clown just isn't a clown without a hat. [to Paris] Here is your decaf with soy milk. PARIS: Thanks. RORY: You're welcome. So I read your doctrine and I thing our imaginary kingdom is off to a pretty good start. PARIS: Yeah? RORY: Yeah. I mean the taxes are a little high and the landowner's power should be regulated a little more. PARIS: It was a different time back then. RORY: Yeah but the fundamental human needs were the same. PARIS: We're supposed to set it up within - LOUISE: Ding, ding, ding. No debating until I've had coffee. MADELINE: And a clown. TRISTIN: Ladies. MADELINE: Hi Tristin. RORY: Hey. TRISTIN: Paris, can I talk to you for a sec? LORELAI: Oh, sure ok. LOUISE: And that is about what pray tell? MADELINE: I don't know. The project - maybe? LOUISE: They could've talked project here. It's something else. Something private. MADELINE: Scandal. LOUISE: Maybe. Though it is Paris. MADELINE: Scandal lite. LOUISE: All the taste, but much fewer calories. MADELINE: We could spy. RORY: Or we could wait for her to come back in to see if she wants us to know. LOUISE: Those who simply wait for information to find them, spend a lot of time sitting by the phone. Those who go out and find it themselves, have something to say when it rings. RORY: Nietzsche? LOUISE: Dawson. RORY: My next guess. [Paris comes back in.] LOUISE: So, what was with the confab in the hallway? MADELINE: We're dying here. PARIS: Well, Tristin, he...asked me out. MADELINE: No! LOUISE: My, my, my. MADELINE: Wow, this is amazing. God I'm jealous. LOUISE: Details please. Don't leave out anything. We want every comma, apostrophe and ampersand. PARIS: Well he just asked me out. MADELINE: When? PARIS: Tonight. LOUISE: Hmm. PARIS: What? LOUISE: Nothing. PARIS: No, you hmm'ed. Why did you hmm'? LOUISE: Forget it. PARIS: Louise tell me why you hmm'ed. LOUISE: He asked you out for tonight. MADELINE: Less than 24 hours notice. PARIS: So? What does that mean? LOUISE: Usually that someone else cancelled. RORY: Or maybe he just got up the nerve to ask her out. MADELINE: Maybe. LOUISE: This is so amazing. I mean you are so far from Tristin's type. MADELINE: So, so far. LOUISE: Tristin usually likes his girls bad. MADELINE: Looks like we're going to have to do the Pink Ladies makeover on you. LOUISE: We'll turn you from a sweet Sandy to a sluty Sandy. Dancing at the school fair with high heels, black spandex and permed hair. MADELINE: You can borrow my water bra. PARIS: Excuse me? MADELINE: My water bra. It's like a padded bra but it's filled with some sort of liquid so it moves. PARIS: It moves? MADELINE: Yeah. PARIS: On it's own? MADELINE: It makes you look natural. PARIS: Great. Thanks, but I'll pass. Everyone come on, let's get to work. RORY: I think you're gonna have a really good time. PARIS: Yeah well, it's just a date right? RORY: Oh, right. PARIS: Ok, focus people. RORY: Do you want one? [point at the clowns] CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE LORELAI: [running into the house and upstairs] Hi! Five minute talking break while I change. [upstairs] My day - big leak third floor, lots of things going squish that should not be squishing. Michel is not help. And now I'm late for dinner which by the way I'm completely bummed you're not coming to - [holding up shirts] which one - blue, black, good, bad? RORY: Black. LORELAI: Ok. Are you sure you can't come? RORY: Yeah I'm sure. If I'm not prepared tomorrow, Paris is gonna have me sent to the Tower. Although if things go well tonight, I bet it'll help tomorrow. LORELAI: Tonight? RORY: Yeah, she's going out on a date with Tristin. LORELAI: How'd that happen? RORY: I did a little matchmaking. LORELAI: [in Ricki Ricardo voice] Lucy, how many times have I told you not to butt into there people's business? RORY: Never. LORELAI: [normal voice] Good going. RORY: That's all. LORELAI: Alright, well I want details tomorrow now how do I look? RORY: Beautiful. LORELAI: [sighs] Ok. My five minutes are up. [grabbing shoes] Let's go. [going downstairs] There is money on the kitchen table and there's really good chocolate cake that I took out and defrosted for you specially this morning and call me if you need me and I'll be home early and what else? RORY: Don't be mean to Grandma. LORELAI: Yeah, yeah broken record. Ok, I'm gone. RORY: Be good. LORELAI: Bye. RORY: Bye. [Pan to later, Rory studying and eating cake. Knock] PARIS: [holding clothes] I don't know what to wear. RORY: Ever? PARIS: On my date with Tristin. I'm not trendy girl ok? I don't haunt the boutiques hoping to find that one fabulous little top. I study and then I think about studying and then I study some more. RORY: Do you want to come in? PARIS: I only have one lipstick at home ok? And it's barely even a color. You put it on and it looks like you're not wearing anything which is why I liked it in the first place. But to date you need the fabulous little top and you need a lipstick that you can actually tell you're wearing. RORY: Do you want to put that stuff down? PARIS: You said once that if I ever needed to talk to anymore I could come talk to you. RORY: Yes I did. PARIS: Well here I am. RORY: Ok, can I ask you a question? PARIS: Ok. RORY: Why didn't you go to Madeline or Louise about this? I mean they seem to get that fabulous little top' thing. PARIS: Oh yeah that they get. The whole supportive You're going to be fine and not throw up 12 times on the way to his car' thing - that they don't get. RORY: Ok, let's just see what you got. PARIS: I brought everything just in case there was some sort of hidden potential in something that I just didn't see. So? RORY: Well you'd be one well dressed widow. PARIS: Forget it. I'm not going. RORY: Yes you are. Come on now. This is your entire wardrobe? PARIS: Yes. RORY: Nothing's left at home. PARIS: Nothing but my Chilton uniform and my bat mitzvah dress which has menorahs on the collar. RORY: Ok let's think. Come on. [going upstairs] PARIS: Where are you going? RORY: to our one stop shopping store. [Upstairs in Lorelai's room.] PARIS: Is this your mother's room? RORY: Yes it is. PARIS: I can't wear your mother's clothes. RORY: Yes you can, I do it all the time. What about this? [holding up pink blouse] PARIS: My mother says the color pink makes my head look small. RORY: Ok, no pink. PARIS: This whole thing is so insane. RORY: Why? PARIS: Tristin asking me out? Why would he do that? RORY: Why would he not do that? PARIS: Because he's gorgeous and experienced and only dates those most likely to become a trophy wife. RORY: Tristin would be lucky to go out with someone like you. He's not going to have to read the menu to you or explain that the dancing trash bins in the movie theatre previews aren't real. It's going to be much less stressful. PARIS: All these years I've hoped this would happen and now it has and I feel...I don't know. I don't have a lot of experience in the dating department. I mean if you can't put it on your transcript what's the point right? RORY: I know. Before Dean I'd never had a boyfriend. Or a kiss. PARIS: Yeah. RORY: I never even thought about dating. PARIS: Then you met Dean. RORY: Yeah. And he was so special and nice and made me completely nauseous. PARIS: The best ones do. RORY: I couldn't even talk around him. PARIS: I saw you at the dance. You didn't seem to have any trouble talking. Or gazing annoyingly into each others eyes. RORY: But that was after we'd been dating a little. After we started going out and spending time together, I don't know, it just kind of got easier. And then by the third date everything was perfect. PARIS: Do you miss him a lot? RORY: Yeah, a lot, a lot. PARIS: Sorry. RORY: Thanks. But tonight is not about me. Tonight is about you going out with Tristin in this outfit. What do you think? PARIS: It's ok. [Rory gives her a look] It's great. RORY: Put it on. PARIS: Are you sure? RORY: Yeah. Bathroom's down the hall and I'll get you a lipstick with some actual color in it. PARIS: Ok. [throws her jacket on the bed and note cards fall out of it.] RORY: Uh, Paris. What are these cards that fell out of your jacket? PARIS: Oh yeah. Those are notes for tonight. RORY: Notes? PARIS: Yeah. Just some reference points really - you know subjects to bring up in case the conversation lags. RORY: Well can I suggest that you leave this one about the Spanish Inquisition out? PARIS: It's not very romantic? RORY: Not really. PARIS: Ok, I'm dressed. RORY: How's it look? PARIS: Bad. RORY: Well I don't really trust your opinion on that subject so come out here please. PARIS: Fine but it looks bad. [opens bathroom door] RORY: You look great! PARIS: I feel weird. RORY: Well then weird works for you because you look amazing. PARIS: Really? You're not just saying that? RORY: I swear to God. PARIS: Are you atheist? RORY: Excuse me? PARIS: Because that affects the validity of your swearing to God. RORY: You look great. And I wouldn't tell you you did if you didn't. PARIS: Ok, well if you think it looks ok. RORY: I believe the word amazing' was used. PARIS: Then I'll wear it. Thanks. RORY: Anytime. PARIS: I have to go. RORY: Lipstick. PARIS: You're going to hold this evening over my head for the rest of my life aren't you? RORY: Probably. PARIS: Bye. CUT TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE TRIX: What did you think about the rabbit? LORELAI: Oh, I thought it was wonderful. TRIX: You know I brought it with me. LORELAI: Excuse me? TRIX: From London. London has the best game. GRANDPA: Mm. LORELAI: You brought it with you from London? TRIX: Yes. LORELAI: What, did you get it a seat? GRANDMA: Dry ice. LORELAI: Wow! That's inventive. TRIX: Well it looks like we're finished here. GRANDPA: Let's retire to the living room for a brandy. TRIX: Yes. Lorelai, walk with me. I have something that I want to discuss with you. LORELAI: Ok. TRIX: I've been thinking about something I heard the other night. LORELAI: What was that? TRIX: That you borrowed money from your parents for Rory's school. LORELAI: Well if you're worried about them getting the money back - TRIX: You know Shakespeare once wrote Neither a borrower nor a lender be'. Do you consider Shakespeare a wise man? LORELAI: Uh, sure, yeah. GRANDMA: We certainly don't mind loaning Lorelai the money if that's what you're worried about. GRANDPA: Certainly not. Rory is first priority in this house. TRIX: I'm not concerned about whether you mind or not. Loaning money is a dirty business. It's distasteful and I don't care for it. As you know, I came into town to check up on the family investments and to talk with our lawyers. I have some things to put in order, and one of them is setting up a trust fund for Rory. LORELAI: Wh - that's amazing. Really? TRIX: Now normally I would set up a fund that she would have access to when she's 25. However, considering the situation, if you like, I will arrange for her to get it now. LORELAI: Now?! GRANDMA: Now?! TRIX: That way she can use it to pay for Chilton. LORELAI: Oh Gran, I don't know what to say, that is so generous of you. GRANDPA: My mother is a very special woman isn't she? TRIX: You talk about me like I'm dad. GRANDPA: Oh you're never going to die! You're too stubborn! LORELAI: Gran this is - I don't know what to say. TRIX: Nothing now would be preferable. I have arranged for you and your mother and I to have tea tomorrow before I leave. Say it then. Good night Emily. GRANDMA: Good night. GRANDPA: Well I'll just uh, walk mother upstairs and be right back. LORELAI: Wow! That was quite a b*mb she just dropped. GRANDMA: It certainly was. LORELAI: God! Um, I guess I should be going. Thanks for dinner Mom. I'll see you tomorrow. [leaves] GRANDMA: Lorelai...[follows her to foyer] You're not honestly considering accepting that money are you? LORELAI: Um yeah, of course I'm considering it. GRANDMA: I don't think that's very wise. LORELAI: Why not? GRANDMA: Because she's a young girl. She won't know the first thing about managing that money. LORELAI: Yeah, well, I'll help her. GRANDMA: You don't know the first thing about managing that money either. LORELAI: No, but I've very familiar with the second thing. GRANDMA: How can you not see the pitfalls in accepting that money? LORELAI: Mom. GRANDMA: I mean you're the one that brags about how special your relationship with Rory is. I'm stunned that you want to jeopardize it like this. LORELAI: What are you talking about? GRANDMA: Well you know as well as I do that money is freedom. LORELAI: And? GRANDMA: If Rory has that money she won't need you anymore. LORELAI: I don't know Mom, she's 16. There's still a couple of ways I might come in handy, you know buying the beer that kind of stuff. GRANDMA: Well I'm glad you thing losing your daughter is so funny. LORELAI: Mom. GRANDMA: She'll be self sufficient, she won't need you to pay for anything, she won't have to turn to you. LORELAI: Everything in a relationship isn't about money mom. GRANDMA: She'll move out as soon as she can. LORELAI: So what. GRANDMA: She won't need your help to put her through college, she won't need you to buy a car. LORELAI: Ok you know what? Say goodbye to Dad for me as soon as the voices in your head subside. GRANDMA: Why should she wait to backpack around Europe with you? She could afford to go herself. And she could take a friend or a boyfriend or anyone. LORELAI: Yeah well she wants to go with me. GRANDMA: Well now of course she does she doesn't have options. But the minute you give her options... LORELAI: Ok, that's it. You're nuts and I'm going - in that order. [leaves] GRANDMA: It's terrible not to be needed. You'll see! [Pan to Gilmore house, Lorelai walks in and goes into Rory's room to find her asleep. She takes away the books from Rory and covers her. She holds up a Harvard brochure and we see Rory's room has posters of places from Europe up.] CUT TO STREET [Sookie and Lorelai at flower shop] SOOKIE: That is amazing! LORELAI: I know. One minute it's pass the pot roast' the next minute it's hey, here's have a pile of money'. Things are never boring at the Gilmore house. SOOKIE: What did Rory say when you told her? LORELAI: I haven't told her yet. SOOKIE: What?! LORELAI: She was asleep when I got home. SOOKIE: Hi, for that much money you wake her up! You hire a singing telegram! Women jump out of cakes! People dress up like bankers and dance around with those toasters! LORELAI: Well she's been working her butt off all week on this Chilton paper, so I let her sleep and I'll tell her tonight. SOOKIE: Call her now. Ooh, page her, or page her and have her call my cell phone and we can sing the money song from Cabaret'. You be Liza, I'll be Joel. LORELAI: I don't know. SOOKIE: Hey I'm Joel. LORELAI: I don't want to bother her while she's at school. I can never decide, carnations tacky or trendy? SOOKIE: You don't want to tell her. LORELAI: Yeah I do. I think. SOOKIE: Oh well I understand the hesitation. LORELAI: You do? SOOKIE: Absolutely. I mean who wants to be the bearer of good news. All that hugging and happiness - nightmare. LORELAI: I was, I was thrilled when Gran told me about it and I was going to tell Rory about it right away. SOOKIE: But? LORELAI: My mother... SOOKIE: Ah. LORELAI: ...cornered me by the door saying all this stuff about how when Rory gets the money she's not going to need me and she's gonna move out of the house sooner. SOOKIE: What? That's crazy! LORELAI: I know it is, it's crazy and yet... SOOKIE: Honey come on. The woman's just trying to mess with your mind, you know that. LORELAI: I do. SOOKIE: She just doesn't want to lose control of you. She wants you to be permanently obligated to her. LORELAI: I know, I know that. SOOKIE: So then what? You don't believe what she said do you? LORELAI: I don't know. I mean you're right - what you're saying about she wants to mess with my mind and make me feel obligated but I mean, what if the money does change our relationship? SOOKIE: Impossible. LORELAI: Well anything's possible. SOOKIE: Come on. LORELAI: I couldn't stand that. I like things the way they are now. SOOKIE: Lorelai, this is Rory we're talking about. LORELAI: I know. SOOKIE: She's like the most unmaterialistic kid in the world. LORELAI: Not it's not about what she would buy. I don't care if she buys a house or a boat or the elephant man's bones. It's just that - you know, it's about the freedom. I mean if I had access to all that money as a kid I would have left the house so fast. SOOKIE: Faster than 17? LORELAI: No I mean - God I know this is crazy. I have my mother's voice stuck in my head. It's like that annoying Cranberries song. I hate that I let her do this! I have that I let her get to me! SOOKIE: Well then don't let her. Call Rory and tell her about the money and you'll see that nothing will be any different. LORELAI: I don't want her to go to Europe without me. That was going to be our thing. SOOKIE: She's not going to go without you. I promise. LORELAI: Hey - [looks at Sookie's watch] Aw! No! I've got to go home. SOOKIE: Why? What are you doing? LORELAI: I have to change and go to tea with Gran and the cast of Gaslight'. SOOKIE: Wow, I'll see you later. LORELAI: Bye. CUT TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE GRANDPA: You're hysterical, I can't talk to you when you're hysterical. GRANDMA: Well you make me hysterical. GRANDPA: I am tired of fighting about this. GRANDMA: You have to got to get her to take that offer back. GRANDPA: No. GRANDMA: Richard Gilmore I have put up with a lot from this woman over the years... GRANDPA: Keep your voice down. GRANDMA: But this time she's gone too far! GRANDPA: Emily please. GRANDMA: I can go louder! GRANDPA: If I do as you ask, I'll be insulting my mother. I will not do that. GRANDMA: Now you listen to me. I don't care if she demeans me and looks down on me. I don't care if she thinks I've tarnished the Gilmore name. I don't care if she thinks I'm the whore of Babylon. I've long ago given up any hope of getting into her psychotic good graces, but that woman is horrible and selfish. And she's not going to get away with it. I won't let her. GRANDPA: This is my mother you're talking about. GRANDMA: Yes it is. Your mother, the one who stepped in without being asked and single-handedly wrecked everything! GRANDPA: Emily, what is this about? GRANDMA: She'll never come back here you know. GRANDPA: Who? Mother, of course she will she - GRANDMA: Lorelai. GRANDPA: What? GRANDMA: If she gets that money, Lorelai will never come back here. She won't have to. TRIX: I've ordered a car, women shouldn't drive. Are you ready? [heads for the door] GRANDMA: Yes I'm ready. [looks at Richard] TRIX: I shall die soon you know! CUT TO CHILTON [Rory sitting outside classroom] PARIS: Well aren't we early. Trying to suck up to Parliament? RORY: Hey how'd it go last night? PARIS: It went. RORY: It went well? PARIS: Well he picked me up. We went to dinner and a movie. I didn't use my note cards once and he kissed me good night. RORY: Paris I'm so glad! PARIS: It was a great kiss. RORY: See? All that nervousness for nothing. PARIS: Yeah. God this is so weird. I can't stop smiling. RORY: Good, then it's a good time to talk about our over taxed peasants. PARIS: Oh let them eat cake. TRISTIN: [walking by them] Hey. RORY: Don't look at me. I didn't kiss you. [Paris follows him in.] PARIS: Hi. TRISTIN: Hey. PARIS: I just wanted to tell you again that I had so much fun last night. TRISTIN: Yeah, after five messages on my answering machine, I kinda got that impression. PARIS: Too much, sorry. TRISTIN: No forget it, it was cute. PARIS: You know, maybe we could do it again sometime. I mean a different movie of course but the same basic plan. TRISTIN: Absolutely. PARIS: Great, because it was really fun. TRISTIN: It was fun and we should do it again. I mean you know - as friends. PARIS: Oh, yeah as friends. [disappointed] TRISTIN: You noticed it too right? That we're sort of more friends material than dating material? PARIS: Yes I did notice. I have excellent deductive skills. TRISTIN: But hey, I'm glad we did it. PARIS: Oh sure. TRISTIN: When Rory first suggested us going out I thought the idea was crazy but she made some good points. We do have some history and well, you never know right? PARIS: Yes you never know. Ok, so we're done here right? TRISTIN: Uh sure. PARIS: Great. Excuse me. [walks over to Rory who just entered classroom] RORY: What? PARIS: It was your idea? RORY: Paris. PARIS: So what, I get all your cast offs now?! I'm just that pathetic?! Jee I don't want them so maybe I can con the suckers into taking out Paris the loser'! Throw the dog a bone! RORY: Ok let me - PARIS: I am not your charity case! RORY: No it's not like that, I swear. I just thought you guys would make a good couple that's all. PARIS: We did make a good couple - for one night! But obviously we're more suited to just being friends or at least that was what was conveyed so humiliatingly to me just five seconds ago. RORY: Paris, I'm sorry - PARIS: I hate you! [storms out and Madeline and Louise who came in and caught the tail end follow her] RORY: [goes up to Tristin] You told her? TRISTIN: I didn't know it was a secret. RORY: Why would you tell her? What is wrong with you?! TRISTIN: Rory relax, we tried ok, it didn't work out, it's not big deal. RORY: It's a huge deal to Paris and you didn't try. One date isn't trying. TRISTIN: Rory - RORY: You said you'd try. TRISTIN: Hey, I'm sorry Paris is upset ok? But is it better that I keep dating her even thought I like somebody else? RORY: Oh. TRISTIN: Yeah. RORY: I didn't realize. So...you're still not over Summer huh? TRISTIN: [semi-sarcastically] Yeah, I'm not over Summer yet. [leaves, Rory looks confused or feels bad for him] CUT TO TEA LORELAI: Hi. GRANDMA: Hello. LORELAI: Where's Gran? GRANDMA: Torturing the bathroom attendant I suppose. LORELAI: Ah. So um, this place seems clean. GRANDMA: Yes, it's famous for it's cleanliness. So what did Rory say when you told her? About the money I mean. She must have been very excited. LORELAI: Yes she was. Rose tea. That's funny. That's not really tea is it? It's like rose petals in hot water. More like a bad floral arrangement. GRANDMA: Well what did Rory say, fill me in? LORELAI: She was happy. GRANDMA: Happy? LORELAI: Yeah - she screamed she did that air-lasso thing over her head. GRANDMA: Lorelai be serious. LORELAI: She was asleep when I got home Mom so I couldn't tell her. GRANDMA: She doesn't know? LORELAI: No. GRANDMA: Well...something I said must've really struck a chord with you. LORELAI: Excuse me? GRANDMA: You didn't tell her so you must have had a reason. LORELAI: Ah she was asleep Mom, I just told you that. GRANDMA: The only thing I can think of is that you must have reconsidered based on our conversation. LORELAI: I didn't reconsider. GRANDMA: I mean yesterday you could hardly wait to get home to announce your great fortune to her. Today all you can talk about is rose petal tea. LORELAI: Yes well, it's a little weird. GRANDMA: And you haven't told her that now she has her own money to put herself through school, to go to Europe - LORELAI: Stop right now. This is just like you to take something that should be great and twist it into something ugly. Why do you do that? What is wrong with you? GRANDMA: There's nothing wrong with me. LORELAI: Yes there is. There's something seriously wrong with you. You should be studied. GRANDMA: I don't understand why you're getting so upset. I respect the decision that you made. LORELAI: I made no decision. GRANDMA: Whatever you say. LORELAI: Ok, you know what? I'm going to call her and uh, tell her right now. [looks for her cell] GRANDMA: No you're not. LORELAI: Yes in fact I am. [moving phone around her] GRANDMA: What are you doing? LORELAI: The reception sucks in here. GRANDMA: Stop it, you look like you're having a fit. LORELAI: Ok, well I'm gonna go find a payphone. [gets up] GRANDMA: [stopping her] You're grandmother will be back any second. Just have a sandwich. LORELAI: Have a sandwich? That's what you have to say to me? Have a sandwich. GRANDMA: Well what do you want me to say? LORELAI: I want you to say that you are sorry you tried to talk me out of taking this money. That you realize that you're just being petty and controlling and mean and that you know there's no amount of money that can change the relationship Rory and I have. That's what I want you to say - say that. GRANDMA: I will not. LORELAI: Well say it Mom, or I'm finding a payphone. TRIX: Lorelai - you're here. LORELAI: Hi Gran. TRIX: So have you ordered the tea yet? GRANDMA: No not yet. TRIX: Well good because I'm afraid I'm going to have to take my leave of you a little earlier than I had anticipated. LORELAI: What, why? TRIX: My train leaves tonight and I have a little last minute packing to do. GRANDMA: Well I can help you with the packing. TRIX: Plus I really don't wish to witness anymore of this ugly little fight you two seem to be having. Raising your voice during high tea, who ever heard of such a thing. It's like Fergi all over again. LORELAI: Oh Gran please, I'm so sorry. We're done. Please don't leave. TRIX: I can see now that offering that trust fund was a bad idea. After all, taking into account the maturity level of those involved, this large amount of money would probably not be safe. LORELAI: No Gran, that isn't true. Rory is an incredibly mature kid. TRIX: Oh I'm sure she is. It's you I'm worried about. LORELAI: But - TRIX:. [to Emily] And I'm sure she gets it from you. GRANDMA: But - TRIX: Tell Rory goodbye for me. You two are welcome to visit me in London anytime. Emily, please get my coat. I will meet you outside. [leaves] LORELAI: Well you won. GRANDMA: I did not win. LORELAI: You didn't want me to take the money and I'm not taking the money. That's called winning. GRANDMA: I'm sorry. LORELAI: No you're not. GRANDMA: Well...yes I am. LORELAI: Forget it Mom, it's not big deal. GRANDMA: No it is a big deal. Here Rory had this wonderful opportunity and we - and I...maybe I can talk to her. LORELAI: Oh yes that'll work. GRANDMA: Well I'll go to your father. LORELAI: Mom... GRANDMA: He can talk to her. He can fix it. I'll make him fix it. [takes out cell and dials] Ugh damn reception. Well I'll go to a payphone. LORELAI: Mom, Mom, stay here. GRANDMA: Yes but Chilton. LORELAI: Rory can still go to Chilton unless you're rethinking our agreement. GRANDMA: No, not at all. I'm not rethinking anything. LORELAI: Ok then we're good. GRANDMA: Are you sure? LORELAI: We're good. GRANDMA: Well I'd better get out there before she leaves me here. LORELAI: I'm sure you'll be sorry to see her go. GRANDMA: Oh yes, I don't know what I'll do with my self. We'll see you Friday? LORELAI: See you Friday. [Emily turns to leave] Hey Mom? GRANDMA: Yes? [turning back] LORELAI: Can I ask you a favor. GRANDMA: Anything, anything at all. LORELAI: Don't make us take the coat rack back. GRANDMA: Deal. CUT TO BUS STOP [Lorelai waiting, coffee in hand, as Rory gets off the bus.] LORELAI: Hi. RORY: Hey. LORELAI: Here [giving her a coffee] RORY: Thanks. I thought you were gonna have tea today. LORELAI: Uh, we did, we finished. RORY: Finished early. LORELAI: Yeah well once you're done with those little sandwiches, there's not reason to pretend you like tea anymore. RORY: Oh I totally understand. Listen there's something I have to tell you. LORELAI: What? RORY: I loaned Paris your black mini and there's a good chance you may never see it again. LORELAI: Oh well there's something I have to tell you. RORY: What? LORELAI: You lost out on $250,000 dollars today. RORY: What?! [Lorelai nods as they walk down the street.]	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x18 - The Third Lorelai"}	foreverdreaming
1.21 - Love, Daisies, and Troubadours written by Daniel Palladino directed by Amy Sherman-Palladino OPEN IN LORELAI'S BEDROOM (Lorelai is asleep in bed. She is awoken suddenly by a loud banging noise.) LORELAI: Dear God Almighty Mr. Mirkle! CUT TO RORY'S BEDROOM (Rory is asleep in bed. Lorelai opens the door and looks in.) LORELAI: Hey! RORY: What? LORELAI: You are not sleeping through this. RORY: Through what? (Lorelai walks over to the bed and leans over her.) LORELAI: The freaking Blue Man Group is outside our house! RORY: I was sleeping through it! LORELAI: It had to have woken you up. RORY: No my insane mother Margot Kidder Gilmore woke me up. CUT TO FRONT PORCH (Lorelai walks out the door onto the front porch. Luke is hammering the porch rail.) LORELAI: Hey. LUKE: Hey. LORELAI: How are you today? LUKE: Good, how are you? LORELAI: Good, good. What are you doing? LUKE: Fixing your porch rail. LORELAI: That's right. You are. You're fixing my porch rail. . . . At six thirty in the morning! LUKE: It was the only time I could do it. LORELAI: Why? Why? LUKE: It was broken. I noticed last time I was here. It could hurt somebody. LORELAI: Luke, we sleep around here. Okay, we like it. It makes us pretty and keeps us from klling our crazy friends. LUKE: You're gonna wake the neighbors. LORELAI: UGH! Could you pound one more thing while you're out here? Your head! And a for-sale sign on the lawn because we're moving. So that's two things. The sign and your head. And in that order 'cause otherwise you'll be too dizzy to do the sign thing. (Lorelai tries to walk back in the house, but the door is locked.) LORELAI: Ugh. Oh sht. RORY! LUKE: You locked out? LORELAI: You don't exist! RORY! LUKE: You shouldn't have closed the door. LORELAI: Ah! RORY! (Babette comes out of her house in her robe.) BABETTE: Lorelai, sugar, you're waking up the entire neighborhood. Please! LORELAI: Excuse me! (Rory opens the front door) RORY: I am officially annoyed. LORELAI: Oh! Well, don't blame me, blame Lu. . .(She points to the porch rail where Luke was, but he is gone.) He was right here. RORY: Yeah, I know. (Rory guides Lorelai back into the house) BABETTE: Get her back to bed doll. LORELAI: He was banging on the. . . RORY: I know. LORELAI: It was something on the porch. It was broken. RORY: I know. LORELAI: I'm not crazy. RORY: I know. LORELAI: He was banging on something. RORY: I know. (Rory pulls Lorelai back in the house and shuts the door.) (Opening credits) INDEPENDENCE INN (The phone is ringing. Michel is leaning on the front desk. Lorelai places a large stack of folders on the desk and starts separating them into piles.) LORELAI: Michel, get that please. MICHEL: I cannot. LORELAI: Michel, we've been over this, we all cover the phone, that includes you. MICHEL: Don't misunderstand. I want to answer it, I truly did, but today, today I am suffering from ennui. LORELAI: Ennui? MICHEL: Severe ennui. You know what ennui is, yes? LORELAI: Yes. Um, Webster's defines ennui as a lazy soon to be out of work French concierge who won't answer the phone. MICHEL: Look, I've had my peace with the fact that everyone who calls here is a notch above brain dad, and that the pennies I am thrown each week are in exchange for me dealing with these people in a nonviolent manner. And usually that is fine, but today, sorry lady, I have ennui. LORELAI: So, you're sleepy? MICHEL: It's a metaphysical angst. LORELAI: So, you wanna go beddy bye? MICHEL: You make light, it increases my ennui. LORELAI: Okay, that's it. Come on you need coffee. CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN KITCHEN (Lorelai walks in with Michel. Sookie is at the counter looking sad.) LORELAI: I need coffee. Extra strong. Double cafe. Triple cafe. No, forget the cafe. Throw in the whole cow and serve it to this man right here! (pause) What's wrong with you? SOOKIE: I don't know. It might sound a little weird, but I think I've got . . LORELAI: Oh no. SOOKIE: Ennui. LORELAI: You explained ennui to her. MICHEL: She asked me what was wrong with me earlier, so I told her. LORELAI: Michel, you know that Sookie ends up thinking she's coming down with whatever illness other people else have. SOOKIE: Nuh uh! (Lorelai hands Michel a cup of coffee and he leaves.) LORELAI: Oh no? What was that whole conversation last week when I had to convince you you didn't have a prostate. SOOKIE: Oh. How is Al? (Lorelai's cell phone rings. She answers it.) LORELAI: Hello? MAX: Is this a bad time? LORELAI: For the hotel industry, but not for you. MAX: I've only got a second, but I wanted to say hi. LORELAI: Hi. MAX: And thank you for last night. LORELAI: It was a good night, wasn't it? MAX: Several novels will be written about it. LORELAI: I say we do it again, and next time, I'll be the gypsy queen. MAX: Do you know the more I see you the more I want to see you. LORELAI: Same here. MAX: It's like a vicious circle. LORELAI: It's an achy feeling. MAX: Like withdrawal pains. LORELAI: Totally distracting. MAX: Completely wonderful. Oh I gotta go. LORELAI: No, don't! MAX: Okay. LORELAI: I gotta go. MAX: Don't. LORELAI: Okay. MAX: This would be another example of a vicious circle. LORELAI: So we should both go. MAX: We definitely should. LORELAI: So. . . MAX: Hang up. . . LORELAI: No, you hang up! MAX: Vicious circle. LORELAI: Bye! (hangs up) SOOKIE: You look happy. LORELAI: Oh, well, what's the opposite of ennui? SOOKIE: Off-ui. Oh, hey, I'm cured! CUT TO LORELAI'S KITCHEN (Lorelai is sitting at the table. Rory is walking around the kitchen.) LORELAI: I had the weirdest dream last night. We were in our house, but it wasn't our house, it was a Kentucky Fried Chicken. RORY: I'm hooked. LORELAI: I had to get dressed, but my clothes were in the back. And the guy manning the giant oil vat would not let me though. RORY: Oh my God! That's so weird. When you said oil vat, that just reminded me, I had this dream last night we were swimming in a pool, only it wasn't water, it was like oil or honey or something. LORELAI: Hey. RORY: What? LORELAI: You totally did the thing. RORY: What thing? LORELAI: The thing where one person is describing their dream and it reminds the other person about their dream, and suddenly it's all about their dream and the first person is just standing there like, um, hey man, what about my dream. RORY: I'm sorry, the oil vat guy was being mean. (Rory sits down at the table.) LORELAI: Yes. And we knew him. He used to live in town. He was that guy who used to run the auto body shop before Maven Hughes bought it. Remember him? RORY: No. LORELAI: Yes, you do. He's really skinny RORY: Peter Stringbean? LORELAI: No. That was the tall circus freaky guy who worked for him. This was the owner guy. What was his name? RORY: I don't know. LORELAI: Yes you do. Come on. Ugh. It's gonna bug me all day. He was short and fat and his name was. . . RORY: Johnny McShort-and-Fat. LORELAI: Oh, now, don't mock. (Lorelai stands up and goes out the back door.) CUT TO LORELAI'S PORCH (Lorelai walks out of the back door.) LORELAI: Hey, who was the guy who used to run the auto body shop? (We pan up to see Luke lying on the roof with a hammer.) LUKE: The Stretch Cunningham guy? LORELAI: No, the Dick Tracy guy. LUKE: Big, always had a half-smoked cigar in his mouth? LORELAI: Yes, him! What was his name? It was like Jim something or other. CUT TO LORELAI'S FRONT CLOSET (We hear Luke and Lorelai still talking outside while we watch Rory going through the front closet. She finds the Dean box and pulls it out.) LUKE: Always had an ING at the end. LORELAI: Yes. Uh, Banning. LUKE: Glanning. LORELAI: Dunning. LUKE: That's it. LORELAI: Ooh! Hey! (Lorelai comes back into the house to tell Rory) Jim Dunning was the Dick Tracy guy. Jim Dunning, that's the Dick Tracy guy. (Lorelai walks into the hallway, where Rory is standing with the Dean box.) LORELAI: Oh. The Dean box. Okay, I know I was supposed to throw it away, but I couldn't. I mean, you're young and your head's all weird, and you don't have any perspective because of that whole young weird headed thing, so just please listen to me before you get mad. You're gonna want that stuff one day, when you're old and married, and looking back and thinking, I certainly had an interesting life. And then you can pull out all your old boyfriend boxes. Which is good, because I threw away stuff I'd kll to have today. Look, I put it in with the Max box so they could chat and keep each other company and commiserate about how they had Gilmore girl and lost a Gilmore girl and . . .sorry. (Rory gives Lorelai a kiss) RORY: Thanks. (Rory takes the Dean box into her bedroom. She sits on her bed and starts pulling everything out and looking at it.) CUT TO SIDEWALK (Rory and Lane walk out of a store. Rory is carrying French fries, Lane is carrying a drink. They start walking along the sidewalk.) LANE: What I wanted to say was, Janie Fertman, you are a vacuous bimbo who will be turning letters as a profession one day. And the only way you'll know which letter to turn is when it dings and lights up. And I have no desire to stop and talk to you. Ever. But what I said was 'what Janie?' And then she goes, 'You're cheerleader material.' Cheerleader material! Just like that. I couldn't believe it! I almost went full matrix on her. Have you heard a word I've said? RORY: No. LANE: I resent that. I'm a witty conversationalist. (They stop in front of the market. Rory is staring in.) LANE: What? RORY: I'm going in. LANE: You can't. RORY: I'm going in. LANE: It's Thursday afternoon. RORY: I know. LANE: He works on Thursday afternoons. RORY: I know. LANE: We're talking you know who. RORY: I know. LANE: Oh my god! RORY: Calm down. LANE: Oh my god! RORY: You're making a spectacle. LANE: You're getting back together with Dean! RORY: If you keep jumping like that I'm gonna videotape it and send it to Janie Fertman as your cheerleader audition. LANE: When did this happen? RORY: Nothing's happened. I don't even know what I'm doing exactly. Or what he's thinking or whether he's brned all my letters and pictures or hates me or what, but I'm going in. LANE: I so encourage this. I love you, but you've been mopey, dopey, and about 12 other melancholy dwarves for the past 5 weeks and I miss the old Rory. RORY: I miss the old me too. LANE: And I've been feeling bad for the new Rory. RORY: Well she's staging a comeback. LANE: And may it be more successful than Peter Frampton's. RORY: Wish me luck. LANE: Luck! CUT TO INSIDE MARKET (Rory walks into the market. She's looking around for Dean but is stopped by Taylor Doose.) TAYLOR: Rory. RORY: Oh, Taylor, you scared me. TAYLOR: What are you doing? You're walking around like . . . RORY: Like what? TAYLOR: Dare I say, like a shoplifter. RORY: Oh, I'm not here to shoplift. TAYLOR: Well, you currently fit 4 of the 8 characteristics. RORY: I do? TAYLOR: You're alone, you look nervous, you're meandering in an aimless fashion, and you're wearing a baggy coat. RORY: Oh, I tend to run cold. TAYLOR: So what are you here for? RORY: I'm looking for your checkout boy. I had a question and I didn't want to bother you. TAYLOR: He's stacking on six. (calls the checkout boy) Over here please! (He walks over.) Mikey, this is Ms. Gilmore, she needs some help. Take care Rory. Watch her. MIKEY: Yeah? RORY: Hi. Uh, I was just wondering, do you like working here? MIKEY: What? RORY: I mean, do you enjoy the whole boxboy trade as a profession? MIKEY: No. RORY: No, okay, good. So, I'm just gonna cross that off my list. Thank you for your time. CUT TO OUTSIDE THE MARKET (Lane is waiting by the door. Rory walks out the door past her. Lane follows her down the sidewalk.) LANE: Well? RORY: He's not there. LANE: But he always works Thursday. RORY: I guess he's taking Thursday afternoons off now. That's not good. LANE: How is that not good? RORY: Because that means he's moved on. LANE: What are you talking about? RORY: Obviously he's met one of those Thursday afternoon girls. LANE: What's a Thursday afternoon girl? RORY: They're those slutty girls that get guys to switch their Thursday afternoons with another checkout guy so they can go do slutty Thursday afternoon things. LANE: Okay, you're reading way too much into this. RORY: I shouldn't have gone in. LANE: No it's good to go in. RORY: Taylor thinks I'm casing the place. Like I would ever shoplift there. LANE: You have shoplifted there. RORY: Lane, I'm gonna ask you a question and I want you to be more honest with me than you've ever been before in your life. Have you ever seen him with another girl at school? LANE: No. RORY: Lane. LANE: No. RORY: You'd tell me, right? LANE: Yes. No, I wouldn't because it would break your heart, but I haven't. RORY: You swear? On the life of the lead singer of Blur? LANE: On the soul of Nico, I swear to you that I have not seen Dean with another girl. RORY: Okay. LANE: He's miserable. RORY: Fine. LANE: Suicidal. RORY: Good. LANE: And in desperate need of haircutting. RORY: Thank you. CUT TO CHILTON (A bell rings. The empty hallway fills up with kids exiting their classrooms. Pan to Rory at her locker. Tristin walks over to her.) TRISTIN: You should decorate this thing. RORY: I did. TRISTIN: Well I mean with something other than a bunch of dad black and white women. RORY: What, like curtains? TRISTIN: You know what I mean. I did mine up. RORY: Yeah, I saw that. The naked picture of the Siamese twins is particularly classy. TRISTIN: You know what these are? (holds up two tickets) RORY: They look like tickets. TRISTIN: To PJ Harvey. RORY: Wow, you have good taste. I'll give you that. TRISTIN: You're into PJ Harvey, right? RORY: Yeah, how'd you know? TRISTIN: Why, I'm all knowing. RORY: How Godlike of you. TRISTIN: One of these is for you. RORY: Oh, I don't think we should go to a concert together. TRISTIN: Reason? RORY: It would seem like a date. TRISTIN: Well it would seem like a date because it would be a date. RORY: I can't date you Tristin. TRISTIN: Well I give you permission. RORY: And on that humble note. (Rory closes her locker and walks away. She's stopped by Madeline, Louise and Paris.) MADELINE: Oh, Rory, favor, big one. Look at the face. RORY: Sure, what? MADELINE: Can I get your biology notes from Tuesday, I was out. LOUISE: To lunch. MADELINE: Please. RORY: Sure, I have them at home. I can bring them later. MADELINE: Thank you, thank you, thank you. PARIS: One more and you're done. MADELINE: Thank you. (Rory walks away) MADELINE: So I've decided I'm now completely into Judy Garland. Did you see the TV movie? Pretty intense. LOUISE: I think they used my mother's medicine cabinet in that. MADELINE: She was the Courtney Love of her day. PARIS: Show me a trend and I'll show you Madeline. MADELINE: Judy Garland is trendy? PARIS: Completely. LOUISE: She was neo-addict retro chic. MADELINE: No one tells me these things. (They stop at Paris' locker, where Tristin is standing nearby) PARIS: Hi. TRISTIN: Hey. MADELINE: Ooh, what are those? TRISTIN: Oh, PJ Harvey tickets. LOUISE: Really? MADELINE: Cool. LOUISE: Who are you going with? TRISTIN: Rory. PARIS: What? LOUISE: Rory's going out with you? TRISTIN: Yes, she is. (Tristin walks away) MADELINE: Wow, I didn't think she liked him. LOUISE: Neither did I. (Paris slams her locker and walks away.) LOUISE: Hm, do you think she's mad? PARIS: What are you two waiting for, a tram? Let's move! MADELINE: Oh yeah, she's mad. CUT TO OUTSIDE OF MISS PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO (Ballerinas are practicing their routine) MISS PATTY: Flutter flutter, quick quick, flutter flutter, quick quick. And your hearts are broken, your prince has betrayed you, you've been sht with an arrow, and now . . you're dad. (Lorelai walks past the dance studio) LORELAI: Hi Patty. RACHEL: Lorelai. LORELAI: Hey Rachel. RACHEL: Hey, have you seen Luke around? LORELAI: Oh, he's probably at the diner. RACHEL: Nope, he's supposed to be at the diner, but he's not. LORELAI: Oh, well . . RACHEL: We were supposed to meet for lunch, but he didn't show. LORELAI: Oh. RACHEL: Again. LORELAI: Ah. RACHEL: I made tuna. LORELAI: Nice. RACHEL: Yeah, yeah, he usually comes back upstairs for a break between lunch and dinner, but recently he's been other places. Uh, your place actually. LORELAI: Oh, yeah, well, Rachel, he's just fixing some things. RACHEL: I know. LORELAI: The porch rail, a couple roof shingles, then the porch rail again after he fell off the roof onto to the porch rail. RACHEL: Yeah, yeah, he's been telling me LORELAI: Good. RACHEL: Look if you see him can you tell him to just, I don't know, check in. LORELAI: Yes, will do. RACHEL: Thanks. LORELAI: Thanks. RACHEL: Bye. LORELAI: Bye. (Lorelai walks by the troubadour. The troubadour stops his song when he hears whistling, he looks across the street and sees another troubadour. He gives a pout towards the other troubadour.) CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE (Lorelai walks in the front door. She puts the mail on the hall table, then hears a noise upstairs.) LORELAI: Hello? (She grabs an umbrella from the front hall. She hears footsteps around the corner. She walks towards them holding out the umbrella. She jumps into the living room.) LORELAI: Hold it right there! Oh! Oh! LUKE: It's only me! LORELAI: You scared me half to death! LUKE: Who'd you think it was? LORELAI: Well, I don't know! I heard some thudding upstairs and Rory weighs like ten ounces, and it either had to be an escaped elephant, or some strange large man who should not be in the house. How did you get in here anyway? LUKE: Through the back door. LORELAI: The back door's locked. LUKE: No, that's why I came, the back door lock was broken. LORELAI: The back door lock was fine. LUKE: The back door lock was cheap. LORELAI: The back door lock came with the house. It's been a very fine back door lock. LUKE: It's the kind of lock burglars look for. LORELAI: Why do burglars look for that lock? LUKE: Because it's easy to break into. I proved that. LORELAI: You proved that by . . .? LUKE: Breaking in through the back door. LORELAI: Oh my God! LUKE: It's the only way I could get in. (Lorelai starts walking towards the kitchen. Luke follows.) LORELAI: You have crossed over into the dark side Luke. LUKE: It's not that big a deal. (Lorelai walks into the kitchen and sees the broken lock) LORELAI: UH! You broke into my house! LUKE: I'm gonna fix it! (Luke walks over to the door and starts fixing it. Lorelai follows him.) LORELAI: Ugh! Step away from that lock. LUKE: What? LORELAI: Get off. Come. Sit down. (Luke and Lorelai both sit at the kitchen table) You have almost no free time with all your work at the diner, and lately every spare moment has been spent not with Rachel. LUKE: That's not true. LORELAI: Oh, she was looking for you today and she didn't know where you were. LUKE: I'm not hiding from her. LORELAI: I didn't say you were hiding from her. LUKE: Sounded like you were implying it. LORELAI: Well someone's sensitive about the accusation. LUKE: I think I'm hiding from her. LORELAI: I think you are too. LUKE: It's just a little weird having her in my place. LORELAI: I thought that's what you wanted. LUKE: It was. Is. I'm just. . I've just been living alone since forever. And I just got use to putting the milk someplace in the fridge and finding it in the exact same spot. You know what I mean? LORELAI: Oh, we don't even keep milk in the house. LUKE: Well, then cookies. LORELAI: Cookies almost never make it out of the car. LUKE: You know what I mean. LORELAI: Yeah. Well maybe you can train Rachel to use a magic marker to mark the milk exactly where you left it. LUKE: It's not just about milk. I'm not used to someone expecting me. LORELAI: Expecting you to. . . LUKE: Come home, do things, be with her. LORELAI: Aw, most people would kll to have that in their lives. LUKE: I know, but I'm different, I'm a loner. LORELAI: Oh no. No no. I don't want to hear about the romance of being a loner. LUKE: Some guys are just naturally loners. LORELAI: Yes, lonely guys. LUKE: Independent guys. LORELAI: Sad guys. LUKE: Maverick guys. LORELAI: Lee Harvey Oswald. LUKE: John Muir. LORELAI: The bmb. LUKE: Henry David Thoreau LORELAI: Every one of these sad and lonely guys. LUKE: It just not what I thought it would be like having Rachel back. You know, it's not the fantasy I was toting around all these years. LORELAI: Well, Luke, life is not a fantasy. Maybe you have to lower your expectation bar a little bit. LUKE: So you're saying that life is just settling for whatever comes along? LORELAI: Wow, you think having Rachel is settling? LUKE: No, I didn't mean that. Rachel's great. LORELAI: And she's crazy about you. And if her worst trait is she's a milk whore, you have it pretty good. LUKE: Yeah. LORELAI: And you just need to give this situation a fair chance. LUKE: I know. LORELAI: And that starts with ceasing work on the Winchester mystery house here. Luke: Okay. Thanks. LORELAI: You're welcome. CUT TO DEAN'S HOUSE (Rory is standing in front of Dean's house. She pauses a moment before walking up to the door and knocking. A girl answers the door.) CLARA: Hi. RORY: Oh, hi. How are you today? CLARA: Fine. RORY: Good, good. CLARA: Are you here to see my brother? RORY: Oh, no. No. Not at all. I'm, um, with . . the Girl Scouts. CLARA: I'm gonna be a Girl Scout someday. I'm a brownie now. RORY: Oh, well good, that's an excellent stepping stone. CLARA: Where's your uniform? RORY: Oh we're not doing uniforms anymore. You know, we're trying to blend in, relate better to the average person. It was a very successful strategy for the Hari Krishnas, so. . . CLARA: You look like someone. RORY: I do? CLARA: You're the girl in the pictures. RORY: What pictures? CLARA: The ones Dean has in his room. RORY: Dean has pictures in his room? CLARA: There's a funny one of you sticking out your tongue. He had a lot. RORY: Wait, wait, has or had? CLARA: What? RORY: You went from has to had, that's a big difference. CLARA: It is? RORY: Yeah. What's your name? CLARA: Clara. RORY: You're a pretty girl, Clara. CLARA: Thanks. RORY: Now was it has or had? CLARA: I don't know. RORY: You do know Clara. Had is past tense. Has is present. Now think. CLARA: I'm trying. RORY: Can you go to his room now? CLARA: He doesn't like me in his room. RORY: Sneak in, he'll never no. (Clara starts to cry.) RORY: Oh, no no no, Clara, don't cry. Oh, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm a nice person. I'm a Girl Scout. (Rory hears Dean's voice inside the house) DEAN: Clara? RORY: Bye! (Rory runs away from the house. Dean comes to the door where Clara is crying.) DEAN: What's the matter? CLARA: She sacred me. DEAN: Who? CLARA: The Girl Scout. (Dean looks down the street and sees Rory running away.) CUT TO STREET (It's nighttime. Lorelai, Rory, and Max are walking down the street. Lorelai and Max are carrying small grocery bags.) MAX: Okay, we've got food, drink, reading material, chocolate covered espresso beans. Have I left anything out? RORY: I think that about covers it. LORELAI: You're such a good provider. MAX: I try my best. LORELAI: Are you sure you wanna go to this thing? MAX: You've been talking about these town meetings for months. I've got to see one for myself. LORELAI: Well, they're never dull. RORY: And if you're lucky, you'll see some crazy lady throwing French fries at the people she disagrees with like last time. MAX: So were they cold? LORELAI: No, I was just full. Max: Ah. Oh, oh, I forgot. (Max pulls out 2 RingPops of the bag) One for you and one for you. RORY: What are these? MAX: Those are rings. And the diamond is actually candy so you can eat it. LORELAI: Max, that's very sweet, but we're not eight. (Lorelai and Rory excitedly switch rings behind Max's back) LORELAI: What do you got? RORY: Grape. Yours? LORELAI: Red RORY: Trade you! LORELAI: Yes! CUT TO INSIDE MISS PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO (The town meeting has already started. Taylor is at the podium in front.) TAYLOR: Enough, enough of this arguing. Its time to put this to a vote. All right now, let's see a show of hands. All those in favor. . . . (Lorelai, Max and Rory walk in. Rory notices Clara and Dean in the back.) LORELAI: Oh rats. It started already. TAYLOR: All those opposed. (Lorelai raises her hand) Lorelai, you don't even know what were voting on. LORELAI: Yeah, but I'm a-gin it! TAYLOR: All right, the nays have it. Let the record reflect it. Lorelai, I hope that's not food in those bags. Food is not allowed at town meetings. LORELAI: No, Taylor its not. Its, um, diapers for the little ones. TAYLOR: What? LORELAI: Dorsal fins and cucamonga. TAYLOR: What did she say LORELAI (whispers to Max): I confuse him till he loses his train of thought and then he moves on. Hot dog? TAYLOR: All right, I'd like to open the meeting up for miscellaneous issues. TROUBADOUR: I have an issue. TAYLOR: Who are you? TROUBADOUR: The town troubadour. TAYLOR: The what? BABETTE: You've seen him Taylor, with his guitar. TAYLOR: Right, the guitar. MISS PATTY: Yes, he plays on all the street corners. LUKE: He loiters on street corners. TAYLOR: We're two peas in a pod Luke. LUKE: Scary thought Taylor. BABETTE: Go on honey. TROUBADOUR: Thank you. I've been the town troubadour for six months now, and I think I've done a pretty good job and then, he shows up (points to other troubadour). TROUBADOUR 2: Hey. TROUBADOUR 1: And there's no room for a second troubadour in Stars Hollow. MOREY: Clearly. TAYLOR: This is hands down the silliest thing I have ever heard. LORELAI: Hear them out Taylor. It can't hurt. (Taylor looks at the bag she's holding in her hand) These are not fries. They are farfignugen sugen dugen. TAYLOR: I opened the floor for issues of substance. This does not qualify. MOREY: Note beyond cool Taylor. Music is substance. TAYLOR: Watch out Morey. After that anatomically explicit epithet your wife yelled at me earlier, you're both on probation. TROUBADOUR 1: All I'm asking is that the town troubadour laws be enforced. TAYLOR: There are no town troubadour laws. MISS PATTY: There ought to be something. KIRK: I've got the town handbook right here. TAYLOR: I don't get this people. This man is practically a vagrant. I mean, where do you even live? What do you do for a living? TROUBADOUR 1: I don't want people to know those things! TAYLOR: Why not? TROUBADOUR 1: Because that's part of being a troubadour. TAYLOR: What is part of being a troubadour? TROUBADOUR 1: The mystique! TAYLOR: Oh, this is absolutely ridiculous. Do you subscribe to this troubadour mystique? TROUBADOUR 2: I run a Kinko's in Groton. TROUBADOUR 1: You see, that proves it. He doesn't respect the code. You're not supposed to talk. You're not supposed to run a Kinko's. You're supposed to speak through your music. That's the whole point. TAYLOR: What is your scam buddy? TROUBADOUR 1: My scam? TAYLOR: Because if you are using the fine people of Stars Holow to make a quick buck . . . MISS PATTY: No Taylor, he doesn't accept money. I know, I tried. TAYLOR: He may not now, but he will. This troubadour act is a money making scheme. Why else would he be doing it? RORY: Because sometimes you have something you need to say but you can't because the words won't come out or you get scared or you feel stupid, so if you could write a song and sing it then you could say what you need to say and it would be beautiful and people would listen and you wouldn't make a complete idiot out of yourself, but all of us can't be songwriters so some of us will never be able to say what we're thinking or what we want other people to know that we're thinking so we'll never get the chance to make things right again ever. (Brief pause. She puts her hand on Troubadour 1's shoulder.) So give this guy a license. (Applause) LORELAI: Well, I liked that little speech. CLARA (whispers to Dean): That's the Girl Scout. TAYLOR: In the interest of not talking about this subject for another second, I hereby designate 'Mystique Guy' over here the official town troubadour. And no other troubadour may usurp his territory, meaning this other guy. (Lorelai throws a French fry at Luke. He turns around.) LORELAI: Do you want some fries? We have extra. LUKE: Nah, Rachel's minding the store so I should probably get going. LORELAI: Yeah, I agree. LUKE: I knew you would. (Luke gets up and leaves. Max pulls Lorelai closer and gives her a kiss. Rory looks to where Dean was sitting, but sees that he left.) CUT TO LUKE'S DINER (Luke walks in the diner. Rachel is behind the counter.) RACHEL: Oh, you're back. LUKE: Yeah, nothing much pressing at the town meeting. RACHEL: Okay. Well, the bread shipment's all put away, and I sent Ceasar home since it was pretty dad. LUKE: Good. Good call. RACHEL: Thanks. (Rachel picks up her luggage and walks out from behind the counter.) LUKE: So you're leaving huh? RACHEL: Yeah. LUKE: Were you even gonna tell me? RACHEL: I was waiting for you to get back so I could say goodbye. LUKE: Yeah, you at least always do that. So go. RACHEL: Don't you even want to know why? LUKE: I know why. RACHEL: I don't think you do. LUKE: It's just like all the other times Rachel. You're the anywhere but here girl, you're restless, you're bored, it is what it is. RACHEL: That's not it. LUKE: Then what is it? Is there another guy? RACHEL: No. LUKE: Then what? RACHEL: It's another girl. LUKE: What? You telling me you're. . . RACHEL: The other girl isn't for me Luke, it's for you. LUKE: Okay. Now that's crazy. RACHEL: Yeah? LUKE: Yeah. RACHEL: No. LUKE: You feel you need a different excuse this time to mix things up a little, fine. But you are not leaving because of me. RACHEL: I'm sure you tried Luke. But admit it, you're heart wasn't in it. LUKE: My heart was in it. I was here, I didn't leave. . . .I don't get this. RACHEL: Luke. LUKE: And what are you talking about, another girl. What other girl? (Rachel stares at him) Oh Rachel, no, you don't mean. . . She and I are just friends. I told you that a thousand times. RACHEL: No. You told it to me once. And you could barely get it out then. LUKE: Okay, this is crazy. You've got it wrong here. It's not. . .She and I are. . .uh. . . RACHEL: I'm gonna go. I'll miss you (she hugs him goodbye) Stay in touch. LUKE: Rachel, come on. (Rachel walks to the door and stops. She turns around to look at Luke.) RACHEL: So don't wait too long okay. LUKE: To what? RACHEL: To tell her. (Rachel leaves.) CUT TO CHILTON COURTYARD (Rory is walking to catch up with Madeline and Louise.) RORY: Hey Madeline. I've got the notes you wanted. MADELINE: No thanks. RORY: No these are the ones you asked for. The biology notes from Tuesday. The other day you said you. . . MADELINE: No thanks. RORY: But. . What's wrong with her? LOUISE: Nothing's wrong with her Mary. RORY: Mary? Oh no, not this Virgin Mary thing again. LOUISE: Not virgin. Typhoid. (Paris is walking next to Rory. Rory notices Paris staring at her.) RORY: What? PARIS: You know, when we met at the beginning of the year, I didn't like you because I thought you were some rube from the sticks and I have no patience for rubes. RORY: How very enlightening. PARIS: But then I discovered that you're not so dumb. You even seemed modestly interesting at times. That's when I made a very big mistake. I let my guard down. That won't happen again. RORY: What is all this about? PARIS: It's about using people for your own sick ends. It's about making enemies where you should have made friends. RORY: How did I make you my enemy? PARIS: Oh I think you know. RORY: What? Was it setting you up with Tristin? I'm sorry about that. I thought I was just being nice. PARIS: Oh sure you did. RORY: I helped you get ready. I loaned you my mother's clothes, which I still haven't gotten back by the way. PARIS: Oh my God, you're right. I hope those weren't the ones Skippy had her puppies on. I'll check when I get home. RORY: Tell me what I did. Paris! PARIS: Think about it at PJ Harvey. RORY: Is that what this is about? I'm not going to PJ Harvey. PARIS: Tristin says you are. RORY: Well, then he lied. PARIS: I saw the tickets. RORY: He bought those tickets on his own. PARIS: Look, I'm over Tristin so don't back out on my account. RORY: There's nothing to back out of. PARIS: I don't have time for things like concerts anyway. I'm already lining up my extracurriculars for next year. By the way, are you still going out for the school paper? RORY: You know I am. PARIS: You're going to need a faculty recommendation. RORY: I think I can swing it. PARIS: And the support of the student editor. RORY: I'm not worried. PARIS: Worry. I just got the job. RORY: Oh. Congratulations. PARIS: Thank you. And don't worry, you'll have some role. How's covering the new parking lot landscaping sound? RORY: Peachy. PARIS: Too bad I already filled the spot for music coverage. You know, record reviewing and such. You'd have been perfect for it. I gave the job to Louise. RORY: Louise owns two CDs. PARIS: Yeah. Well, gotta go. Have a really good summer. CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE (Doorbell rings. Lorelai comes down the steps, trying to put her shoes on.) LORELAI: You're annoyingly on time again! Ugh. Okay, stairs then shoes, stairs then shoes. (Opens front door) Oh hi. LUKE: Hey. You're all dressed up. LORELAI: Oh, I'm going out. LUKE: Oh sorry. I forgot my toolbox so I just thought I'd come pick it up. LORELAI: Oh yeah. It's right over here. Rory and I couldn't lift it or we would've brought it to you and then we got used to having it here, so we named it Bert and we'd say Goodnight Bert and it'd say Goodnight girls and we spend too much time home alone. LUKE: Well, thanks for taking care of it. LORELAI: Our pleasure. (Luke places the toolbox on the hall table.) LUKE: So Rachel left. LORELAI: What! LUKE: Last night. She left. For good. LORELAI: Oh no, Luke I'm so sorry. What happened? LUKE: Ah, it's hard to explain. LORELAI: I can't believe it. I thought she was really in it for the long haul this time. LUKE: Yeah well, she had her reasons. LORELAI: Really? What? (Max knocks lightly on the front door and pushes it open.) MAX: Hello? I'd tried to be late. LORELAI: Oh and an utter failure at one minute past. LORELAI: Um, so uh, Max Medina this is Luke Danes. Luke owns the diner. He has the greatest coffee. MAX: Oh right. I saw you at the town meeting LUKE: Yeah I saw you too. MAX: Nice to meet you. LUKE: Uh huh. MAX: Mm hmm. So, we should be going. LORELAI: Oh yeah. LUKE: Yeah, I 'm gonna get going. I just left my toolbox from when I was here earlier fixing things. I do a lot of little things around here for Lorelai. LORELAI: Yeah, you're very handy. So Luke, we'll talk later. LUKE: Yes we will. MAX: Although probably not tonight. We won't be back until late. LORELAI: No, I meant not tonight. MAX: Oh, I misunderstood. LORELAI: I meant tomorrow. So tomorrow. LUKE: Absolutely. We see each other most everyday. MAX: Well sure, you've got the coffee. LUKE: And she needs the coffee. So I'll see you tomorrow. LORELAI: Tomorrow. LUKE: Same time as always. MAX: I'd count on a little later. LUKE: Doesn't matter what time it is. I'll always be around. LORELAI: Bye. (Luke leaves.) MAX: So are we going? LORELAI: Uh, yeah. Just wanted to make sure you two were through swinging those things around. Someone's bound to lose an eye. MAX: What are you talking about? LORELAI: Nothing. I'll get my purse. (Lorelai walks into the living room. Max follows her.) MAX: So not to be blunt, but is that over? LORELAI: Is what over? MAX: Whatever's going on that I just walked in on. LORELAI: Oh Max, come on, that's Luke. MAX: I kind of picked something up there. LORELAI: Okay. Well, drop it back on the ground and kick it under the couch, because there is no there there. MAX: Hey, it's okay. I mean, we were apart for quite a while. I never assumed you joined a convent. LORELAI: Max. MAX: I mean, it's not like I didn't date while we were apart. LORELAI: You dated? MAX: A little. LORELAI: A little person? MAX: No, I dated a little. LORELAI: Okay. Well, I didn't expect you to join a manvent or whatever the male equivalent of that is called. Who did you date? MAX: A monastery. LORELAI: You dated a monastery? MAX: No, a monastery is the male equivalent of a convent. LORELAI: Thank you Mr. Medina. I'll make a note for the quiz on Friday. MAX: I didn't know if I'd ever see you again. LORELAI: No, I get it. Yes. We were apart. And, uh, you know, I didn't exactly remain inactive. MAX: So you did date Luke? LORELAI: No, I did not date Luke. MAX: You can tell me. LORELAI: I did not date Luke. MAX: There was a vibe. LORELAI: There was no vibe. What is with the questioning? You won't tell me who you dated. MAX: There's no one you know. LORELAI: Okay, well, did you date like casual nothing type dating or did you date like get down, soul train kind of a dating? MAX: Well, I wouldn't have phrased it that way, but to be honest, it was the latter. LORELAI: Good, good. Okay. Well, I like your honesty. Because I mean you could've lied and left that part out to spare my feelings which would've been unnecessary. So thank you, that was good. I slept with Rory's dad. MAX: Let's change the subject. LORELAI: On my parents' balcony. MAX: I want to change the subject. LORELAI: Okay, well you started it. MAX: I did not mean for this to become a who slept with whom contest. LORELAI: Well, how did it get that way? MAX: I don't know. Why do we do this? Why do we let it get weird between us just when it's getting good again? LORELAI: I don't know. MAX: I don't like it. LORELAI: I don't either. MAX: And I'm sick of it. LORELAI: Well, so am I. MAX: We can't keep getting this close just to have something completely derail us again. And frankly there's only one thing I can think of that could solve it. LORELAI: Break up. MAX: Ugh. LORELAI: Well, I'm not interested in a mrder-su1c1de kind of thing. . MAX: We should get married. (pause) LORELAI: Give me a clue as to whether you're kidding or not. MAX: I am not kidding. LORELAI: Good clue. MAX: What do you say? LORELAI: Nothing. Max, you did not just propose to me. MAX: Yes I did. LORELAI: No. A proposal had to be something more than the desperate desire to end a bickering match. MAX: It was more than that. LORELAI: No, it has to be planned. It should be magical. There should be music playing and romantic lighting and a subtle buildup to the popping of the big question. There should be a thousand yellow daisies and candles and a horse and I don't know what the horse is doing there unless you're riding it, which seems a little over the top, but it should be more than this. MAX: You're right. LORELAI: I am right. MAX: I'm sorry. LORELAI: It's okay. MAX: Let's start the evening over. LORELAI: Ding dong. MAX: Oh, now I'm five minutes late. LORELAI: Well, you're making good progress. MAX: Let's go? (Lorelai follows Max toward the front door.) LORELAI: Bye bye Bert. (They both leave.) CUT TO OUTSIDE CHILTON (Tristin is waiting against the wall for Rory. As she walks past, he walks next to her.) TRISTIN: So I'm a little tired of this game. RORY: What game? TRISTIN: Are we meeting there or what? RORY: What are you talking about? TRISTIN: The concert's tonight. RORY: Well I hope you and the empty seat next to you have a lot of fun. TRISTIN: I'm started to get a little irritated here. RORY: So am I. TRISTIN: What are you mad about? RORY: You've been telling everyone that I'm going to this thing with you. TRISTIN: Just a couple. RORY: You told Paris. Paris and I had just started getting along and now she hates me again. TRISTIN: Well, the damage is done. You might as well go to PJ Harvey with me. RORY: Never never. I am never going anywhere with you ever. TRISTIN: You know, these tickets cost me a fortune. RORY: They cost your daddy a fortune. TRISTIN: I don't even know anybody else who's even into this stupid guy. RORY: PJ Harvey's a woman. (Tristin grabs Rory's books) RORY: What are you doing? TRISTIN: You'll get them back when you agree to go with me. RORY: You're pathetic Tristin. Keep the books. I'm leaving. (Sees Dean in the parking lot) Dean? (Walks towards him) Dean. What are you doing here? DEAN: I'm leaving. RORY: Don't go. DEAN: I shouldn't have come. RORY: No wait. DEAN: I feel like an idiot. RORY: Why? DEAN: 'Cause I come all the way out here and I see you with him. That's just great. RORY: No, Tristin was just . . . DEAN: I don't care. RORY: No listen. DEAN: He's got your books Rory. RORY: But he took them and wouldn't give them back. Please just tell me why you're here. DEAN: I don't even know. RORY: Yes you do. DEAN: 'Cause I thought you . . Forget it. RORY: No say it. DEAN: I thought you were trying to talk to me. RORY: Oh. DEAN: I mean, you came to my house. RORY: That wasn't me. DEAN: It was you. RORY: It must've been someone that looked like me. DEAN: My sister recognized you from the pictures in my box. RORY: In what box? DEAN: The box of stuff I have of us. Pictures and letters and everything from you. RORY: You have a Rory box? DEAN: And what was going on at the town meeting, all that stuff about writing a song? RORY: I don't know what I was talking about. DEAN: That had nothing to do with me? Well I must have imagined it all then. Your boyfriend's waiting. RORY: He's not my boyfriend. I hate him. DEAN: Whatever. RORY: Dean. DEAN: What. RORY: Stop. DEAN: Why. RORY: Because I love you, you idiot. (Dean walks over to her and they kiss. Tristin puts Rory's books down on the ground and walks away.) CUT TO FRONT OF THE INDEPENDENCE INN (Michel is arguing with Kirk in front of the door. Lorelai comes running up to them) MICHEL: Do you understand what I'm trying to explain to you? Do you speak English? Are you listening to me? Ah, what took you? LORELAI: Sorry, I got here as quickly as I could. Hi Kirk. MICHEL: Do not address him. He's a scoundrel. KIRK: I'm just doing my job. LORELAI: What's going on? MICHEL: Am I or am I not the head man in charge of floral deliveries? LORELAI: Yes, and one of the few men I know who would proudly declare that fact. KIRK: I'm just doing my job. MICHEL: Stop saying that. LORELAI: This has to do with flowers we ordered? MICHEL: Flowers we did not order. KIRK: I'm just doing my job. MICHEL: Say that one more time and I'm going to punch your nose. LORELAI: It must be a mistake. KIRK: There's no mistake. MICHEL: I did not order these flowers. KIRK: It says that you have to be here to personally accept them. LORELAI: That I have to be here? Well that's. . . . MICHEL: I am head man in charge of flowers. KIRK: I just do what I'm told. MICHEL: I warned you to stop saying that. (Lorelai walks inside the inn) CUT TO INSIDE THE INN (Lorelai comes through the door) KIRK: That's not what I was saying before. MICHEL: It is a little variation that will still lead to a punch on the nose. (Michel and Kirk come through the door) MICHEL: Daisies no less. As if I would order these pitiful little things. Foul things, these daisies. And just a notch up from weeds. And look how many. I mean, there must be at least. . . LORELAI: A thousand of them. A thousand yellow daisies. (Pan around inn's lobby, which is filled with daisies. Lorelai walks into the middle and them and looks around.) KIRK: That's right. There's exactly a thousand of them. The order states that there is to be exactly 1000. Not 1001, not 999, but 1000. You ask for 1000, I bring 1000. I don't question the orders. I merely fill them. MICHEL: Job well done, Mr. Adolph Eichmann. (Lorelai sits down on a table in the middle of all the daisies, pulls out her cell phone and calls Max.) MAX: I couldn't find a horse. LORELAI: You didn't have to. MAX: Don't say anything, okay, please. You were right last night. I shouldn't have proposed to you like that. It was stupid. It was the wrong place, and the wrong time, and I kicked myself the entire night for doing it. But you were wrong about something too. I didn't propose to you because we were fighting. I proposed because I love you. We're in a bad pattern Lorelai and we have to break it. And other than that mrder su1c1de thing you were talking about, which would be illegal and messy, I can only think to be impetuous. LORELAI: Max. MAX: No, listen, I woke up this morning and I realized that I have studied and talked a great literature all my life and those stories are replete with characters that let opportunities slip by. But what I teach is more than just literature, its lessons in life. And if I don't follow the tenets of those lessons, I'm not the man I thought I was. The man I want to be. LORELAI: God, you talk so good. MAX: I don't want an answer now. I've thought about this. I want you to do the same. I love you Lorelai Gilmore. And I know this to be true. I'll talk to you later. (They both hang up) (Lorelai looks around at the daisies) LORELAI: Oh my . . . CUT TO STREET (It's nighttime. Lorelai is walking down the sidewalk. She passes the town troubadour, who's in mid-song. Troubadour 2 walks by and the official troubadour nods for him to join in.) CUT TO LUKE'S DINER (Luke is standing at a table pouring coffee for Kirk when Lorelai bursts through the door.) LORELAI: Rory! LUKE: Geesh, you made me spill. LORELAI: Sorry! Uh, she's not here? LUKE: No, what's the matter? LORELAI: I sent her a message to meet me here at 7 and she's supposed to meet me here at 7, so what time is it? LUKE: Seven. KIRK: I'm damp. (Luke throws a towel on Kirk's table) LORELAI: Where is she? LUKE: Calm down, is everything okay? LORELAI: Yes, maybe, I think so. I don't know. LUKE: So what's going on? LORELAI: Big things. Big potentially life-changing things. LUKE: You get a promotion? LORELAI: Oh yeah, they made me head salesman of the Northwest Territories. No I run an inn, there's no place to promote me too. LUKE: So it's nothing to do with work? LORELAI: Where is she? LUKE: Have some coffee while you wait. LORELAI: No, I couldn't take coffee, big hole, through the roof, very bad. LUKE: You're saying no to coffee. This is big. Can't tell me what it is? LORELAI: I just really need to tell Rory first. LUKE: But you're happy about this news. LORELAI: I might be. Maybe. It's just kind of a, wow I can't believe this is happening to me kind of a mindblowing moment. . (pager beeps) Oh there she is! I'm gonna go (hands Luke a daisy) The whole town gets one today. (Lorelai leaves) LUKE: Bye CUT TO OUTSIDE THE DINER (Lorelai is outside in front of the diner. She sees Rory down the street. They smile and run towards each other. They talk at the same time.) LORELAI/RORY: You first! (They laugh) You first! (Pan back to an overhead sh*t of the gazebo as they jump up and down excitedly in the street.)	{"type": "series", "show": "Gilmore Girls", "episode": "01x21 - Love, Daisies, and Troubadors"}	foreverdreaming

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