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6,700 | Your mother may have hated you | {
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6,701 | "I jizzeth right in my trousers" | {
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6,702 | As in she will Nazi anyone come to her party. | {
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6,703 | I loved The Phantom Menace when I was 10. Then again, I was a little fucktard back then. | {
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6,704 | .....holy moly that's insane. Was he not getting therapy?! The school didn't know about this at all?! | {
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6,705 | okay, you win this thread. *time to go home, everybody* | {
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6,706 | Me? haha, thats funny.\n\nBy the way, you're almost out of milk, I fed your cat for you. | {
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6,707 | this sounds slightly illegal | {
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6,708 | I can; my birthday is 9/11. Every year when I invite people to my party, I say "Hopefully this year, no one will crash the party." | {
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6,709 | TIL nice guys finish last. | {
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6,710 | Is referencing really stealing?\n\nEdit: Apparently yes. | {
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6,711 | I love soy sauce, but jeez... [It was one of the worst](http://i.imgur.com/oRDnjZZ.jpg)\n\nProbably like a 2/10 dunk, I think almost any condiment will just be awful.\n\nThank you for your suggestion. | {
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6,712 | as they say in Germany, gracias! | {
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6,713 | That seems like it could easily backfire :c | {
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6,714 | I like the mini game where you show off your hard by killing other players.\n\nEDIT: Gg autocorrect\n\nEDIT 2: Yes, I am well aware I didn't fix "hard." I left it so others could enjoy my failure.\n\nEDIT 3: Annnd, now the best comment on my 5 day old alt has more comment karma then my main has altogether. Thanks Reddit. | {
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6,715 | >You want to blow on the cartridge or shall I?\n\n\n\nSHE'S IMPLYING SEXUAL ACTIONS DOCTORBEAT DON'T MESS THIS UP | {
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6,716 | Yep thats what it looks like | {
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6,717 | There you have it, guys. All the people making "Look who I met today!" posts? Total dicks. | {
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6,718 | A warm apple pie was just sexually assaulted by a teenager. | {
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6,719 | I so agree with this. Religion is supposed to be personal; it is supposed to bring you peace in hard times. Each one of us has difficult decisions to make and hurdles to cross every single day. How can one find time to get offended over something as subjective as religion? | {
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6,720 | 1. I'm not sure. He's done this in the past in his previous fights. \n\n2. I love riding so much that it doesn't bother me. I commute on a motorcycle on average about an hour and a half daily. I love it! | {
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6,721 | Where I live, women love that look. | {
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6,722 | ...I don't think I like dogs anymore... | {
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6,723 | Everything here is making me cry lol | {
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6,724 | http://i.imgur.com/AkleduD.jpg | {
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6,725 | Never understood why they have so many lanes when there's usually 3 open at a time...\n\nEdit: Thank you for answering my question, all 4000 responses I got were very helpful. | {
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6,726 | Yeah, it's like when you install solar panels on your house and sell the extra electricity back to the power company. | {
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6,727 | That's because going down the stairs head-first is a bad idea. | {
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6,728 | **Explanation:** The individual on the left is Amon, a character from the show "The Legend of Korra" whom is the antagonist that attempts to rid the world of benders (not Futurama); people who have the ability to control the elements - Water, Earth, Fire and Air. Deadpool, being Deadpool - bends the poster. | {
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6,729 | It's a lot more endearing when someone realizes that they are neurotic and have a good sense of humor about it. | {
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6,730 | Franklin was the original ODB = Ol' Dirty ~~Bastard~~ Benjamin. | {
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6,731 | Except this perfume smells like ass. | {
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6,732 | Nah, the surface just lifted off whatever it was adhered to, so it had a little give to it and acted like a cushion. | {
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6,733 | i would cry except i cant stop imagining a guy walking up and saying, "i like owls?" | {
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6,734 | This relationship is in its sixth trimester now. | {
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6,735 | yeah his face is just disgusting. | {
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6,736 | It was very difficult to find your comment. | {
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6,737 | I like to think I'm making pearls whenever I have sand in my vagina. | {
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6,738 | Greg here.... I can confirm this.... kinda creeped out \n\nEdit: Proof as requested http://i.imgur.com/jfyWe.jpg\n\nAnd video of said Christmas Light show https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bi0f1iVVJyw&feature=plcp | {
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6,739 | Reddit: where the odds are good, but the goods are odd.\n | {
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6,740 | Did you know Dr.doom is actually good? He has foreseen the human race extinct in any situation that does not involve him as the ruler of the world. He just knows that nobody will go for it. Hence the bad guy stuff. If we don't give into Dr.doom, humans are done for. | {
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6,741 | "...Look, it's already in, I say we roll with it." | {
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6,742 | I can understand. a story like that, you just have to tell someone | {
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6,743 | This is much better than the masturbation stories. More primal. | {
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6,744 | The black kid stole his sign! | {
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6,745 | That's not a good reward at all | {
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6,746 | Your mom used them all up. | {
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6,747 | THANK YOU. she's been freaking out about what it may be. This is the best possible conclusion. | {
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6,748 | As an IT person, I have such a huge justice boner right now. | {
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6,749 | I think these figures are all way overblown. I've eaten *several* cigarettes and it's never once made me want to go do it again. | {
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6,750 | Good, now its normal. | {
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6,751 | Sad to see that there is no Udyr skin. Guess they will never add a new one after SGU....\n | {
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6,752 | Bingo. \n\nI was raised Southern Baptist. My father is a Southern Baptist minister. Support for Israel is all about speeding up the end of the world. Which is creepy as fuck when you word it like that. | {
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6,753 | Take this upvote as an offering to shut the fuck up. | {
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6,754 | On a side note: don't fuck with eerily calm people either. They are often the ones who'll flip their shit sideways when they *do* get angry.\n\n\n**Edit:** The "There are three things all wise men fear.." quote have been posted plenty of times now. Thanks, but I think we're good on that one. | {
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6,755 | Yo. Fuck your ex. \n\nEdit: 30+ replies in my inbox saying to be careful about the chlamydia. Does anyone on reddit have a soul? | {
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6,756 | Well it's too big to be a space station. | {
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6,757 | Holy shit, I found it! (There are plenty of Dragon Magazine PDFs online.)\n\nIt's under my uncle's name, but it does credit him. Well fucking done!\n\nEDIT: This same issue might also be the first noted instance of a "chain lightning" RPG spell (which seem to be almost a trope nowadays), so that's also cool.\n\n(Also I got a guy Reddit Gold indirectly, so that's cool)\n\nedit: LOL someone gave me gold for this. Awesome! | {
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6,758 | Let me buy a mac so I can run a virtual windows on it... lol | {
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6,759 | And also...\n\n> There are few swords that \n\n> cut so deep as the blade of \n\n> unrequited love\n\n...is a haiku.\n\n**EDIT** - well this is one way to push a comment about "Yeah...you like that, you fucking retard?" out of my Top Ten, I suppose. | {
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6,760 | Better call Judge Judy | {
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6,761 | To be fair, sex and porn are pretty great. | {
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6,762 | "Baby let's do it."\n\n"Hold on, let me get my shoes."\n\nI'm glad high school is over. | {
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6,763 | We both love hip hop and suits. And are small bearded Indian men. | {
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6,764 | That's the sweet and natural smile of an innocent child witnessing the executions he ordered. | {
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6,765 | I wrote a cover letter just yesterday and didn't even mention oral sex skills *once*. I'm so screwed. There's no way I'm getting that job. | {
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6,766 | The Americans came of age during prohibition.\n\nThey were mid-life (for most of us) during WWII.\n\nThey saw the rise of radio, then TV, then the internet.\n\nThey went from riding in horse drawn carriages as kids to watching men walk on the moon.\n\nTheir lives encompassed the entire lifespans of millions of others who were not so fortunate.\n\nThey also watch as their friends and family died while they lived on.\n\nIt's a wonderful life. | {
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6,767 | "There's no underage to drinking if you have swag"\n\n-Some kid who OD'd at my school. | {
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6,768 | "come here, i'll show you..." | {
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6,769 | HITLER IS STILL AMONG US | {
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6,770 | ...but he shit us not | {
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6,771 | I actually was taught this in APUSH. | {
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6,772 | http://i.imgur.com/eTWruOU.gif | {
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6,773 | Dude, stop being racist, it's called Native American. /s | {
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6,774 | So does anyone have a pic of this broads pussy? | {
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6,775 | You are supposed to do that, but flip the desktop image 180 degrees, then make it the wallpaper, then rotate the display 180 degrees. Everything will look normal except the mouse cursor will be upside down and it will move inverted. | {
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6,776 | My favorite Carlin moment: Jen and I were at one of his shows, post-DOGMA. He was doing his "People I Can Do Without" piece, and right before he said "Guys who wear their hats backwards over the age of nine...", he added "Kevin, you're exempt from this one 'cause of work..."\n\nSometimes when I wake up in the mornings, I still think about that moment, and it puts the whole day into perspective. One of the 20 best things that ever happened to me ever. | {
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6,777 | Take a pregnancy test. | {
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6,778 | Don't worry, I did it for you. | {
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6,779 | People are grown up Sperm. \n\nWhere are your gods now? | {
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6,780 | Two... Big... Firm... Round reasons.\n\n*Okay jeez, they aren't firm!* | {
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6,781 | Or just use mannequins and a cardboard cutout of Michael Jordan. | {
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6,782 | If you're a freshman it will hurt like hell for a few weeks, then you'll realize you were really fucking dumb and take advantage of all the wonderful women around you. True story. | {
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6,783 | Thanks to your typo I read that in a pirate voice. | {
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6,784 | Twilight Zone effect: Everyone in the world feel more attracted to micro dicks. | {
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6,785 | nsfw = nope, safe for work | {
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6,786 | And the answer is always literally *anything.* | {
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6,787 | Internet is a creepy place isn't it? | {
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6,788 | This cuts the survival. | {
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6,789 | Japan is an animation nation. | {
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6,790 | Who the fuck does whippits and drives? That's like the first drug that comes to mind as a "DO NOT FUCKING DRIVE WHILE DOING THIS"\n\nthem and salvia\n\nEdit: The amount of people replying with stories about personally knowing people who do this... Well, I quit for today. | {
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6,791 | Britain... Direct sunlight? | {
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6,792 | YOU LOSE WEIGHT WHEN YOU'RE HOMELESS BROTHERRRRRR | {
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6,793 | They don't. They just tell each other that all the time. | {
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6,794 | *"during intercourse, embrace him and softly whisper 'Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?'"* | {
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6,795 | Jesus, for a clean joke, that's so dark. | {
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6,796 | Here's my proof he did indeed win. \n\nhttp://i.imgur.com/RQ14CFp.jpg | {
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6,797 | Spain here, no we don't. What the fuck are we, Italian? | {
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6,798 | I did drag for Halloween a few years ago. This past summer, I told my wife that I wanted to do it again, but that I wanted to slim down a bit beforehand. When asked why, I responded with "So I'll feel pretty." | {
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6,799 | Okay! That's good question!\n\nWell first of all - if you look at background, you work hard, you make money. It's no secret, okay? You work VERY hard, you make money.\n\nWell I work very hard, 24/7, several days a week, okay?\n\nAnd the specific how I make monies will be in book. THE DISASTER ARTIST by Tommy Wiseau, when I write it soon. Yes. | {
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