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6,500 | This was the funniest thing I've seen Adam Sandler do in 15 years. That is both happy and sad at the same time. | {
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6,501 | No other invention we've ever made has kept up such a rate of improvement for such a long period of time. Moore's law and its implications are just crazy. | {
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6,502 | Did you just reply to yourself? | {
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6,503 | Nfc tag in the bathroom. Tap it and Spotify automatically opens. Lifesaver. | {
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6,504 | "Shit, I think I might have killed her. Better play this one off cool, Fabio..."\n\nEDIT: Cheers mucker. | {
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6,505 | A lot of guys will be shocked if you penetrate them all of a sudden. Give him a minute to adjust. | {
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6,506 | This is so real it hurts. The struggle of dealing with non-tech people. And no amount of explaining and reasoning will convice them. | {
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6,507 | *c'mon guy, you've got new buddies*\n\n*you've got free canadoh* | {
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6,508 | Honestly flying solo at a wedding probably gave you an excuse to take full advantage of the open bar. No major commitments or obligations so you can get as drunk as you want and make a fool of yourself in front of random strangers. | {
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6,509 | Also, sometimes you get shot at. | {
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6,510 | Looking for new tyres, a man walked into a tyre store (which was sensible) and asked the attendant "Do you have any of the black ones that are good with gravelly bits?" To which the attendant replied, " | {
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6,511 | "I love the capitalism" | {
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6,512 | Just take the people writing the lore\n\nEDIT: God dammit now I have to edit in a thank you for the gold. But seriously, thanks man! | {
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6,513 | The camera slowly pans to his face as he sheds a single tear | {
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6,514 | Id call him 'Jizz Pockets.'\n\nEDIT; Thanks everyone. My highest rated comment is about jizzing in pockets. Love you all. | {
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6,515 | My wife introduced me to Shiner Bock before we got engaged. I gave that bitch a wedding. Bitches love weddings. | {
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6,516 | My god.\n\nA post too late.\n\nApostolate.\n\nO_O | {
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6,517 | Employer: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"\n\n\**Don't say "doing your wife", don't say "doing your wife".*\*\n\nYou: "Doing your....son?" | {
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6,518 | >They are bread by humans and live a tormented life.\n>> They are bread by humans\n>>> THEY ARE BREAD BY HUMANS\n>>>> **BREAD**\n\n\nhttp://imgur.com/rBW3z.jpg\n | {
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6,519 | Man, your reply gave me so much hope. I am filled with happiness right now, every single word you say is true. Man, you know what you're talking about, you know your stuff. That was some damn good motivation, I'm just gonna keep my head up high and live my life the fullest! Thanks, I really appreciated your reply! THANKS! | {
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6,520 | The day reddit stopped screwing around and got down to business | {
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6,521 | How many people thought about killing me, but seriously. | {
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6,522 | > mutant\n\nsolved. | {
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6,523 | Have you ever considered the possibility that your parents didn't love you? | {
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6,524 | I wouldnt suggest it. They'd sweep the floor with you. | {
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6,525 | Every day in work! \n\nI'm 28. | {
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6,526 | Starting this past Friday, the 13th, people have really started noticing me. It's still a new experience - people knowing you from a random picture. It's all been in good fun, which is cool. \n\nI went running throughout the City last night and a couple people yelled at me throughout my run. | {
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6,527 | **2000 18-22 YEAR OLD MALES KILLED IN FREAK LIGHTNING DISASTER. SOURCES INDICATE CULT/CHILD PORNOGRAPHY SITE REDDIT TO BLAME** | {
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6,528 | Unless you earned this achievement at eight years old. Not so positive then. | {
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6,529 | It's technically an auto-immune disease. There are no other effects, I just don't have hair. That's why I prefer call it a condition, because I'm really not sick, just bald. | {
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6,530 | Very good people can be very bad people for just one moment | {
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6,531 | No, you don't understand: Ken's concerned that the other dude will be killed *as a consequence* of their balls touching. The fear is that the energy released would be so great the other man's body would be destroyed outright. | {
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6,532 | awww thats kind of cute. I once caught my grandpa eating a can of dog food. He didnt realize until I said something, but he was almost done so he finished it anyway :/. He used to eat the weird bread my grandma baked for racoons (corn bread with bird seed and whatever peels/food scraps that were left around). My grandpa has outlived everyone and his memory is sharp. Maybe its the hobo diet but I think he has preserved himself with homemade moonshine.\n\n | {
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6,533 | I can totally see myself snapping like this at some point. | {
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6,534 | > trying to figure out how much ramen I could buy with $16 and handed me a $20. It made me cry. (I'm glad I'm not poor anymore. But I'll always remember that lady.)\n\nPay it forward. If you see it happening in the grocery store, pass that $20 on along. | {
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6,535 | Deficio because I see far too much of you with the 98327423423 selfies you post! | {
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6,536 | They teach it to us in school from a young age. | {
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6,537 | One of the penises is the bears. Its a trophy. | {
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6,538 | Finally, an actual answer that wasn't butt stuff, haha. | {
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6,539 | Are you worried about him reading this thread? | {
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6,540 | My favorite anime ever is GHOST IN THE SHELL. Absolutely beautiful. I have to watch that movie once every few months. So inspiring. | {
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6,541 | Its probably like a pancake | {
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6,542 | This is ~~amazing~~ shitty! | {
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6,543 | "Do you get it? Because my alter ego is BATman."\n\n*winks* | {
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6,544 | I've waved to my local police officers. Wasn't even shot or anything. | {
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6,545 | $20k is just a hair less of what I make in a year. I hate that man now | {
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6,546 | I'm from Oregon and I'm also kind of disappointed that's not a regular thing anymore. | {
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6,547 | You never asked about their conversation piece? | {
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6,548 | God has taken a few months off from hating Cleveland to focus exclusively on the 49ers. | {
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6,549 | *Sent from my macbook pro. | {
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6,550 | Apparently they did a shitty programming job... | {
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6,551 | That conductor was a BRO! | {
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6,552 | ***NO TOUCHING!!!*** **\<thwack\>** | {
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6,553 | You should practice better security, too. I totally just figured out [who you are](http://i.imgur.com/tE1SA.jpg). \n\nBe careful what you do on the internet, man. | {
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6,554 | Potluck wedding? That actually sounds really fun | {
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6,555 | "Whoops, your high school's funding went away. What a shame about those state retirement funds for your teachers, too." | {
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6,556 | You're the most consistent politician ever. | {
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6,557 | His name is Barnaby Jones. He's a British Junior diplomat that works at the British Embassy in Pyongyang. \n\nSource: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2182429/Junior-British-diplomat-identified-mysterious-Westerner-pictured-riding-rollercoaster-North-Korean-leader-Kim-Jong-Un.html\n\nEdit: Oh good lord, I get it. Barnaby Jones is everyone's new best friend. | {
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6,558 | http://imgur.com/s5Rxj\n\nThere are many more gifs below mine in this thread! /r/NobodyCaresApostolate | {
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6,559 | doesn't matter;got married | {
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6,560 | And welcome to the big dick club | {
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6,561 | Eat a ton of celery....and if your being super nice to your lady....add pineapple to for taste | {
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6,562 | "Soil" is kind of an overstatement. You can grow plants in soil. | {
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6,563 | ...so its impossible then? | {
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6,564 | And if I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.\n | {
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6,565 | "I am tired of stalking this girl, better return these things I don't need." | {
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6,566 | Then get guy number three to come 2 minutes later in a ski mask. Tell him the password is "Give me all your money" | {
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6,567 | FYI; The reason, why people needed to clean wallpaper, was because back then most homes were heated through coal chimneys. The black coal dust would accumulate on the wallpaper. | {
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6,568 | http://i.imgur.com/uHDqu.gif | {
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6,569 | There's probably video of it somewhere. | {
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6,570 | Despite all his praise, he really wasn't a model human being. | {
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6,571 | The mailbox isn't going to run around itself! | {
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6,572 | http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_burn_centers_in_the_United_States | {
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6,573 | DIOS MIO!\n\nEdit: I hate how one of my simplest comments on here has given me the most upvotes. Fuck you reddit. Fuck. You.\n\nEdit2: I say fuck you to reddit and then less than an hour later I have 100 more upvotes. I hope you all break your arms wrestling with your sister.\n\nEdit3: Really reddit? You raped my butthole with your upvotes without using any lubricant over 1800 times over my stupid comment. I'm shitting pancakes. Thanks a lot. | {
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6,574 | that'll be five centilitres please | {
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6,575 | ribbed for *my* pleasure god damnit! | {
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6,576 | Woooooooooooooooooooowww | {
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6,577 | The *saddest* short story ever written.\n\n**edit:** I realize that there are a slew of possible explanations and interpretations of this "story", but people, it's *Hemingway*! That being said, I appreciate the flood of perspective and karma. Never thought this would get so much attention but that's what happens when one you ride the coattails of a top rated comment. Cheers! | {
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6,578 | Haha, Australia - "not venomous".\n\nHahahahahaha | {
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6,579 | If you get stripper titty in your mouth, I just wonder how many other guys mouths have just been on that titty. | {
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6,580 | Imagine if, as he looked up after the flashback, all we hear is a loud "*Plunk*". | {
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6,581 | Jack had charm.\n\nBobby had fervor.\n\nIf Ted drives you home\n\nbring a life preserver. | {
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6,583 | because your mother is a whore, trebek! | {
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6,584 | You need to calm the fuck down. | {
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6,585 | Do I have to pay you anything if I use that? | {
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6,586 | The cake may be a lie, but that scale isn't, chubby. | {
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6,587 | /r/philosophy,\n\nIs over there sugar tits.\n\nOnly Haikus here | {
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6,588 | I think we should adopt your version. | {
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6,589 | What would you win? Money? You're going to take money from the cancer society? God damn... | {
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6,590 | Now I'm imagining you with your head down remaking a sandwich for an extremely confused customer. | {
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6,591 | C'mon England. Your greatest contribution to the world was America! | {
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6,592 | -Gets bombarded with beard grooming product ads. | {
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6,593 | Arthur Martin from 6 feet under | {
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6,594 | Who are you, the Billy Mays of cancer stories? | {
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6,595 | "Please describe your assailant" "uh...." | {
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6,596 | "Ma'am we're going to have put your dog down, he has autism" | {
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6,597 | I saw a couple of typos. Nothing big, but, you know, makes your post less than perfect. I'll give you 75% of an upvote. Do we have a deal? | {
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6,598 | Boston Seagulls... Thank god this isn't a real thing.\nEdit: First comment to blow up like this, and everyone's impressions have been chuckle-worthy! | {
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6,599 | You underestimate the cost of an extended hospital stay in America. | {
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