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6,600 | And if you book through expedia or travelocity or some third party this doesn't apply. Some (such as fucking expedia) have a $200 cancellation policy, even if your flight costs less than $200 and you bought it 5 mins ago.\n\nMoral of the story: Use 3rd party sites to search for flights but then book directly through the carrier. | {
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6,601 | It.... it TALKS?!\n\nBut really man, thanks for your work. You've made me smile more than anyone on here. | {
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6,602 | I too have never beaten my wife at a bowling alley. | {
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6,603 | "The boss makes a dollar when I make a dime\n\nThat's why I shit on company time" | {
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6,604 | Being corrected by you has turned my rod into a snake. | {
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6,605 | How the hell did that go?\n\n"Uhh, your boyfriend, he ..." \n\n"Yeah, yeah. Just not in the eyes" | {
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6,606 | It doesn't matter if I like the flavor or if he likes the flavor - if not enough people buy it, it goes bye-bye. | {
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6,607 | No. She beat him. It's scumbags like you who are blind to this abuse. \n\n\n\n\n\n\nDo I need a /s? I feel I need a /s. | {
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6,608 | oh, you didn't get the rocket parts and fuel plan? Ooh, bummer. | {
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6,609 | All I want to do is play my Trivia Crack in fucking peace BUT NO FUCKING KATE UPTON HAS TO INTERRUPT MY EVERY MOVE. | {
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6,610 | Well you know what they say....\n\nWhere Anne hath a will, Anne Hathaway | {
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6,611 | At the school my wife worked (past tense thank god) the school board wanted to make a rule where teachers could only get pregnant between September and October. That way they had the baby during the summer and the school "didn't waste money on substitute teachers".\n\nThe rule did not go into effect, but apparently it was a topic they spent many hours debating. | {
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6,612 | Nope. But I envy the mothers like yours who still had the audacity to say, "is it in yet?" | {
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6,613 | And faster. And if safe search is off... *sexier*. | {
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6,614 | Late-posted response goes here. | {
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6,615 | Like the story, but I especially liked imagining you as a "pail boy" -- a boy who transports small buckets. | {
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6,616 | At least he is humble. | {
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6,617 | Stand next to people smarter than you are. | {
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6,618 | The last three guys I've hooked up with I gave like 30+ minute blowjobs and none of them had the decency to go down on me at all. \n\nEdit: I'm super clean and shaved, okay. You guys can stop telling me my vagina probably stinks! | {
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6,619 | I never did. Of the four of them, three were super cool kids who were psyched to be hanging out with foreigners. They were actually having a struggle between being good kidnappers and being good hosts.\n\nEven in the middle of it, I completely understood their position. The hard part was the reality that they had to die. It is pretty black and white as soon as people start hitting the ground dead. | {
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6,620 | I live in Texas so this probably my best option | {
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6,621 | Appreciate the kind words. | {
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6,622 | Cold toilet seat = illusion of cleanliness | {
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6,623 | This started out possibly cute, then took a quick swing to the dark side | {
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6,624 | Yeah, all you have to do is be a Medal of Honor recipient and the hardest working, most loyal motherfucker in existence and good things will happen to you. Its frightening that someone can watch a movie about a retarded boy from Bumfuck growing up and experiencing the pits of life's despair and the peaks of its triumphs and somehow think that movie has anything to do with white male privilege. | {
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6,625 | Is this *real?* I hate crowds and all but that's just silly. | {
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6,626 | "Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but, when we look back everything is different."\n\n-C.S Lewis | {
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6,627 | O O O O'reilley'ssss Auto Parts. Fuckin cunts | {
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6,628 | You're thinking of bears. | {
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6,629 | Well this should really improve race relations between cops and citizens. What a fucking idiot. | {
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6,630 | Took my parents 11 fucking years to figure out something was wrong with me.... | {
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6,631 | This is my routine..http://www.muscleandstrength.com/workouts/24-doug---s-5-day-high-definition-routine.html My starting weight was 275 I am now between 165 - 170 | {
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6,632 | "I like owls?"\n\n"I like turtles."\n\n"Oh, my mistake." | {
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6,633 | Please understand I say this with as little offense intended as possible, but if you are in need of a roommate in the future please hesitate to contact me. | {
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6,634 | Try harder, you've got a lot of baggage with that name of yours. | {
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6,635 | Anyone ever play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? When somebody gets up to go to the bathroom, take two shots. | {
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6,636 | If boner lasts longer than 4 hours, call more ladies | {
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6,637 | Here is what he needs to do, call him back and tell him that he'll be in contact shortly to figure out how to pay and wait 4 more years to even try to talk to him again\n\nEDIT: Do I have to add I'm not a lawyer, do not take my advice? | {
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6,638 | Highest popeulation density in the world. | {
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6,639 | From the look of that throw - He's never done that in his life. \n\nI'm guessing he's fine financially. | {
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6,640 | I cut my hair to look like my avatar. Showed a picture of it to a hairstylist and everything. | {
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6,641 | Nevermind. Can I still have karma? | {
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6,642 | The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles! | {
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6,643 | But... how could you... how could you get tricked when he's replying to a comment literally talking about "tree fiddy"?? | {
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6,644 | Don't let the angsty teens with their Che shirts hear you. | {
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6,645 | YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LISA!!!!!! | {
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6,646 | This drives me nuts about some comics too.\n\nCharacter 1: "What's your superpower?"\n\nCharacter 2: "Magic."\n\nCharacter 1: "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS MAGIC!" *flies away*\n\nEdit: clarification and trivial grammar error. | {
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6,647 | First thought: "The fuck is a pre-schooler doing with 20 joints in her pocket?" | {
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6,648 | That within one linear centimeter of your lower colon there lives and works more bacteria (about 100 billion) than all humans who have ever been born. Yet many people continue to assert that it is we who are in charge of the world. | {
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6,649 | http://i.imgur.com/TAkEf.png | {
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6,650 | You type like a drunk person speaks. | {
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6,651 | and record the interview | {
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6,652 | Incoming /r/pyongyang ban. | {
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6,653 | Of course he leaves out Jerry. | {
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6,654 | Paul Lieberstein (Toby) had been running the show the two seasons before Steve left and was doing a great job. There was something about the energy of the ensemble that was off. James Spader is one of the greatest actors known to man but the chemistry with him and Ed running the office was a bit dark and needed to be brighter and more energized. IMHO. | {
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6,655 | I hope this ends up on Colbert with Stephen completely devastated that Tyson likes Stewart better. | {
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6,656 | > My friend takes the water, dumps it on his date, and says, "I just watered a beautiful flower."\n\nI'm fucking dying, that's too damned funny. I'm sorry if it sounds rude, but I just pictured my best friend doing this and leaving right after. | {
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6,657 | I haven't washed my jeans in 6 months........ | {
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6,658 | This would have been fucking legendary. Imagine a post credit scene where you just see a Web shoot across the screen with the sound effect then like a flash of red and blue or something. People would lose their minds. The Internet would explode | {
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6,659 | We have a lot of very daft children and overprotective parents. | {
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6,660 | You must either live with grandma or just have a lot of old stuff. | {
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6,661 | 3: pelvis, elbow and rib. | {
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6,662 | http://i.imgur.com/tltKC.png | {
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6,663 | well, if you set your house on fire your dog would probably be more inclined to poop outside. | {
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6,664 | My vagina rejects this story... | {
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6,665 | So not that close to IT support then. | {
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6,666 | That's really insulting, man. That day flipped my life, turned it upside-down - it's why I'm a youth pastor now. | {
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6,667 | Lil' Jon is one of the last people I would want to be behind when you're trying to go through airport security.\n\n"Sir, do you have any metallic objects?"\n\n"YEAHHHHHHHH" | {
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6,668 | "Do you know who had a girlfriend? Hitler."\n\nThat shuts them up. | {
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6,669 | He set up the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief. "According to a 2009 study published in Annals of Internal Medicine, the program had averted about 1.1 million deaths in Africa and reduced the death rate due to AIDS in the countries involved by 10%"\nhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/President's_Emergency_Plan_for_AIDS_Relief | {
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6,670 | "Today I saw ~~hundreds~~ thousands of people on Reddit claim the best course of action was a fundamentalist dictatorship"\n\n*edit for thousands. | {
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6,671 | Apparently they only talked through the night and held hands. I think they got pretty close to each other one time, but the school dance chaperone nudged them back to a respectable distance. | {
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6,672 | > Senator Roger Wicker\n\nNot Texas! Yes! | {
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6,673 | I asked her if I had a small dick. | {
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6,674 | >but if they put something solid like clay in the bottom of the cup it would at least have a more natural heft to it when the actors pick it up or put it down.\n\nExactly!! They make fake newspapers and stuff. How hard would it be to create a slightly weighted coffee cup? | {
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6,675 | Assuming that position in front of your boss is called "having a job" | {
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6,676 | I mean, you say that but I've still never heard of the guy. | {
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6,677 | I can do about 16 million of those:\n\n\#000000, #000001, #000002... | {
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6,678 | Then we will fap in the shade | {
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6,679 | Why would you pull out if you had a condom on? | {
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6,680 | In the beginning, you can hear her ask "If I hit you, you're not going to hit me back?" like, 5 times.\n\nHe responds "No" and then "I'm not going to fight a girl." And then her friend says "He's not going to fight you!"\n\nThis chick was MAKING SURE that she could get away with punching him. She wanted to know that if she sucker punched him, he wasn't going to retaliate. She felt safe. Fortunately, the dude is a liar. lol | {
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6,681 | As the guy who inserts and removes that gauze for patients in the hospital, sorry man. I enjoy it though. | {
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6,682 | Not if you make the picture wider but shorter! BEWARE OF MICROSOFT WORD | {
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6,684 | Not just any fedora, a fedora from Walmart. | {
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6,685 | Not only that, but to have that son of yours killed by a bunch of ungrateful 2nd generation European immigrants that had opportunity served to them on a silver platter. | {
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6,686 | http://i.imgur.com/RcPyJcF.gif | {
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6,687 | 18 + 20 = 38\n\n\nHmmm... Well, the math checks out. This seems legit, carry on. | {
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6,688 | http://i.imgur.com/Lho5T16.gif | {
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6,689 | The secret to driving in New York is to make the other guy believe that you care less about your car than he does about his. | {
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6,690 | These are the lyrics from now on. | {
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6,691 | Slight breeze? Boner. | {
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6,692 | If this is true, I think you made a good decision. | {
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6,693 | a very cheap prostitute | {
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6,694 | Which is weird and backward... | {
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6,695 | Interstellar blew me away. You're going to love it. | {
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6,696 | Lets get this kid a doll. Please. | {
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6,697 | Fuck that, bump it up a notch. Make a turret on the back and have a gunner. | {
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6,698 | "Rescued this little guy on Mars, he seemed lost" | {
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6,699 | Time to invest in STDs? | {
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