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6,800 | under the butt??\n\ndo your balls hang low? do they wobble to and fro | {
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6,801 | This is the worst! Many students have tragic events in their life that would completely change admission's views about them, but a good chunk of these stories are much too personal and intimate. Admissions doesn't need to know about how awful your hell is if it's something you can't even tell your best friend. | {
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6,802 | They say there is safety in numbers. Ya, tell that to 6 million Jews. -Jimmy Carr | {
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6,803 | no one corrects Ron Swanson's grammar except Ron Swanson. | {
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6,804 | I want a four day work week. | {
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6,805 | Asking the important questions. | {
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6,806 | "I guess some people think they are more important" then laugh and look around like you are wondering who said this delicious quip. | {
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6,807 | Most girls I know do. Thats something you don't want to go without and most girls monthly time isn't 100% predictable | {
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6,808 | Well.. ever seen a rabbit with glasses? | {
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6,809 | Apparently Alan Tudyk can't be on the set with him anymore because he hates him so much. | {
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6,810 | well warts can be transmitted by touching, so maybe she didn't want to get warts on her... especially on the special areas you wanted to touch. so hopefully that is a reasonable explanation and you can work it out | {
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6,811 | As you open your mouth to speak, the words that come tumbling out your mouth are unintelligible. You realize you're trying to speak all the languages at the same time. | {
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6,812 | childhood is a lot like being drunk.\n\nYou don't remember most of it, and other people remind you of the shit you did | {
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6,813 | YOU RUINED IT FOR THEEEMMM! | {
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6,814 | You know what makes jokes funnier? Explaining them. | {
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6,815 | I am impressed usually everyone forgets to add the plus eighteen. | {
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6,816 | http://i.imgur.com/Es98O.gif | {
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6,817 | You really think someone would do that, go on Xbox live and lie? | {
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6,818 | Ill be an old man and they'll give me a set of keys which I will assume will be to a car.. but will be to my assisted living center :( | {
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6,819 | Makes more sense, really. | {
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6,820 | We call it a6t1h1e1i1s1m10 for short. | {
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6,821 | OH! You can just unscrew it!!! (I'm slow...) | {
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6,822 | ###\ (•◡•) / *A clean butthole is a good butthole* \ (•◡•) / | {
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6,823 | Now, I'm a manly sort of man, so I prefer to call them Strong Island iced teas. Woohoo. | {
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6,824 | http://i.imgur.com/07QqQwg.png | {
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6,825 | y u think u no more n her. | {
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6,826 | My friend was driving a large piece of farm equipment and a guy on a motorcycle came speeding over the hill and hit him from behind. The guy died. My friend had done absolutely nothing wrong but it still haunts him. | {
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6,827 | That kind of food aggression should not be tolerated. I hope they sent you back to your crate until you learned better. | {
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6,828 | As a man, I love the shit out of gossip. I want to know all of the shit. | {
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6,829 | That was the 9/11 of music. | {
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6,830 | **F I R E I N S P E C T I O N** | {
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6,831 | Random splashes next to bridges.\n\nConstant "thuds" as you walk by tall buildings.\n\nNooses swaying gently and then going taut with no warning.\n\nGuns firing wildly with bullets stopping suddenly inches away.\n\nSeriously, how could we not know? | {
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6,832 | "Your mother loved you, Legolas." | {
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6,833 | "QUICK! What color is Michael Jackson!?!"\n\n"Black?"\n\n"Oh my GOD! WE'RE IN THE 80'S"! | {
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6,834 | I'll probably find it and spend it on drugs. | {
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6,835 | Some days, I feel really uniquely aware that I have a very finite amount of time left, and that I'm wasting it watching a fedora pop out of a little dick. I'm going to go cry now. | {
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6,836 | Or when someone does explain themselves, but they leave out crucial facts that would have resolved everything | {
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6,837 | If you had siblings like Willow and Jaden, could you blame Trey Smith for wanting to lay low? | {
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6,838 | My favorite sandwich... maybe like a fried egg sandwich. | {
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6,839 | Nothing worse than renting a tape from Blockbuster, only to find the last jerkwad didn't rewind it. | {
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6,840 | I did this to a friend in college. He was taking a theology class so I made it autocorrect 'God' to 'Dog'. | {
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6,841 | we weren't talking about how your mom wants it. | {
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6,842 | Hold a surprise party and freak him out when he breaks in. | {
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6,843 | Nice try, Samuel L. Jackson | {
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6,844 | absolutely! if i get gangraped by a gaggle of silverback apes it's totally cool so long as they all wear rubbers! | {
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6,845 | Hehehe!\n\nNo, and that's a good thing. But yes, I was literally the first person to support it.\n\nReally! Very first person!\n\nI had to sign an NDA. And I met the guy, nice, sweet guy, in - you know, jeans and a t-shirt and a ripped flannel at a coffeeshop in the East Village, and he explained the idea, and I thought it was brilliant, kinda surprised nobody thought of it before, and I was like "whatever you need to help this, I think it's a brilliant idea." | {
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6,846 | Buys new car, rolls off the lot, bonnet crumples and windscreen smashes.\n\nTakes it back "this is faulty, I want a refund". | {
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6,847 | You're already smarter than Bill O'reilly. | {
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6,848 | Yes you can, now sit down. | {
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6,849 | Measure twice, cut educational funding | {
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6,850 | And then after she dumps him, he gets another hottie? It's so unbelieveable they actually have his parents make fun of it. | {
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6,851 | Sometimes you're just sitting there and it happens. And you look down like "What is it, boy?! What do you see?" | {
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6,852 | Well there's your problem. Fishermen shouldn't be building bridges! | {
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6,853 | **Booooooooooooooooo** | {
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6,854 | I don't think more alcohol is the right message here | {
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6,855 | lol no, [but you can!](http://i.imgur.com/Pu9Fljd.gif) | {
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6,856 | I declare a Jihad on split ends. | {
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6,857 | QWOP4: Modern Warflop | {
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6,858 | I need the extended version where he runs away from these guys by stealing a motorcycle because he still has his clutch hand. | {
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6,859 | There will never be any about me, because I never left the house! Ha...ha....haa^aaa^aaa^aa^a | {
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6,860 | Yes, at first glance he has humor about it. But every night when you all go home, he lays in bed and cries his eye out. | {
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6,861 | Step three: ask for a little off the sides every haircut | {
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6,862 | What the hell just happened. | {
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6,863 | Yes, the water is very cold so I throw mine over the shoulder. | {
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6,864 | Retired and bought an RV at 8. | {
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6,865 | I was looking at pictures on someone's phone once, and I asked if it was safe to keep scrolling. It got grabbed off me so fast...\n\n\nThe answer was **NO**. | {
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6,866 | came for the photoshop. was not disappoint. | {
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6,867 | Oh man, I kinda saw this one coming, haha. Just shampoo, maybe conditioner, no particular brand or whatever. Its really thin so I just use wax/pomade from Keihl's (product placement?). And once in a while go to a cool barber called Freeman's. | {
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6,868 | A few years back one of my friends started going out with this girl. Obviously the questions start to come out "have you done it yet" etc. He told us they had had sex but he didn't think she enjoyed it that much. We asked what happened, to which he replied, "She told me to stop spitting on her pussy." | {
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6,869 | yeah you could tell he was uncomfortable, like there's this girl giving a heartfelt speech about her family's struggle against cancer and here I am just playing zelda in a fucking link costume. | {
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6,870 | I like to imagine fire hydrants, mailboxes, pedestrians, etc. just bouncing off the windshield as they casually have their little chat on the highway. | {
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6,871 | I need to take Xanax because I'm terrified of speaking in front of people. | {
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6,872 | you're the worst kind of person. | {
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6,873 | "Welcome to the neighborhood!"\n\n"I am a vocal masterbater." | {
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6,874 | You should really pay your hookers man... That's low | {
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6,875 | V to A, you're okay!\n\nA to V, hurts when you pee! | {
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6,876 | The worst part is that Gawker is now going to go on a tirade about coca cola using Mein Kampf in their advertising and act all indignant and offended.\n\nGawker's entire modus operandi is to create controversies themselves, because then they get to be the first ones to report on those controversies. | {
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6,877 | Usually Sears. \n\nYou came from Kmart though. Much cheaper. | {
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6,878 | Granny dropping knowledge on these fools. | {
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6,879 | Iron Man! \n\nWe need a plan of attack! I have a plan: ATTACK! | {
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6,880 | you know what the worst thing about being a slave is? they make you work all day but they don't pay you or let you go | {
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6,881 | He accidentally wrote a check. Happens all the time. | {
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6,882 | I think he was driving through my email in 2001... | {
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6,883 | Why do you live in a frozen toyota? | {
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6,884 | So was the username pukedick1 already taken? | {
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6,885 | I like this one\n\nEdit: Just failed this one hard.\n\n"I went in to a pet shop, I said, "Can I get a goldfish?" the guy said "do you want a fish tank?" I said "I don't care what star sig... shit"\n\n | {
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6,886 | gf should have pokerfaced | {
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6,887 | I just realized how young I am | {
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6,888 | >And yes I said 20, and not 17, because I'm not going to just fuck 17 of a guy's friends in front of him and not give him some love too, that shit would just be rude as hell.\n\nThat's actually really sweet of you,man. have my up vote :)\n\n | {
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6,889 | $$$$$$kachinggggg$$$$$$$ | {
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6,890 | Mega Jesus of Rio, Mega Buddha of China and Mega Ghan of Mongolia. The dream team. | {
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6,891 | Well, I do respect my parents but just because they are your parents doesn't mean they are always right. I think learning to speak up to your parents is an important part of becoming an adult. | {
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6,892 | They are even better when she is in shape. | {
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6,893 | More like OKStupid amiright? | {
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6,894 | Little something to ease the pain: you've never touched your mom's vagina | {
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6,895 | The mini coffee maker. | {
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6,896 | Generally the first time a woman sees your penis, you should already be hard. If she catches a glimpse of it afterwards, then just shout Eh-neeek-chock and become large. She will think you have superpowers. \n\nI'm very proud of the above paragraph. It starts off so reasonable! | {
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6,897 | She should have remembered the "patient" part. | {
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6,898 | first youtube then liveleak, incase youtube takes it down for whatever reason. | {
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6,899 | First of all, thank you. I often stop and try to get it. I try to grasp the popularity and influence of the Science Guy show, but I'm not sure I do. If I may, I love you guys...\nIf I go into Starbucks, and the people don't know about my show, or my Planetary Society job, or my recent recognition from the Am. Society of Mech. Engineers, the coffee seems to be about the same price. These are all things I feel good about. How else should or would I feel? Hmm... | {
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