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6,900 | I was born at 9:18am, whippersnapper. | {
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6,901 | And this is how you know it's [really bad](http://i.imgur.com/Q0u7o.jpg). | {
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6,902 | Then you're gonna hate election season in the US. | {
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6,903 | The problem is it normally gets down voted and never sees daylight which is why everything appears to be a circlejerk. There are contradictory opinions, they are just at the very bottom of the page. Or they are like me and always late to the party (except for my first post ever) and it's just kinda floating ignored in the middle.\n\nEdit: today I have arrived to the party on time. Let's dance bitches! | {
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6,904 | That's so hot, keep going. | {
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6,905 | Honestly, without a proper stereo field the immersion is lost. | {
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6,906 | http://imgur.com/nStZz\n\nPSA: http://imgur.com/kdXwB | {
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6,907 | Geez, he was just asking a question!! | {
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6,908 | No man, you're mixed up. Ten years ago was *1990...* | {
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6,909 | On the other side of that, I often play out scenes of how I would react if a shooter bust through the door of the boring lecture I'm in. | {
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6,910 | Sorry, but I'm gonna need verification from a mod to believe this one. | {
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6,911 | thank you for reinforcing my preconceived notion that australia is a continent hell bent on murdering all of it's inhabitants. | {
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6,912 | Kid:"Dad, what's this a picture of?"\n\nDad:"Oh, well that's a 200GB micro SD card honey"\n\nKid:"What did you use to use it for?"\n\nDad:"Well honey, we used to use it to save pictures of all of our fun memories together! But we don't use them anymore, we have better technology now!"\n\nKid:"Dad, why did mom leave?"\n\nDad:"Uhh... Well dear, your mother, she loved somebody else.."\n\nKid:"Did mommy love you dad?"\n\nDad:"I... I'm not sure sweetie" | {
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6,913 | Same, they'd probably end up firing me anyway after a few calls:\n\n>Do you want a Snoo?\n\n>No\n\n>Alright, bye. | {
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6,914 | Definitely. Blow this place up so they don't see anyones money for at least a couple more weeks | {
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6,915 | Definitely the single celled organism. | {
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6,916 | Seconding this, it was an automatic response to seeing the blood, you have nothing to feel guilty about. | {
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6,917 | There has been a massive upwell of protests against government corruption in the last few months in Mexico sparked by a group of students that were activists for political reform, the police arrested the students, handed them over to the cartels, who burnt them alive. \n\nProtesters have surrounded the presidential palace twice and scorched the front gate in these protests, they are on the verge of total revolution and their corrupt government is hanging on tooth and claw. | {
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6,918 | Well, now we know how fucking magnets work. | {
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6,919 | Or Wendy's fries in Frosties. | {
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6,920 | Or a genius. What better way to break up with someone by acting so idiotic that the other person feels beyond compelled to break up with you? | {
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6,921 | I can't speak for anyone else but most of the enjoyment I get out of "69" is the fact that she can't concentrate enough to suck my cock. Knowing I'm making her fumble around and lose the rhythm is hot! | {
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6,922 | this would be legendary. | {
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6,923 | haha yeah...wait *what* | {
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6,924 | He can wipe away his tears with piles of money. | {
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6,925 | http://i.imgur.com/fSpck.png | {
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6,926 | I suppose that the stereotype is technically true. Maybe black people do like watermelon and fried chicken, the story just neglects to mention that everybody else does as well. | {
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6,927 | It's not impossible. I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two meters. | {
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6,928 | but ends meat is so much tastier than regular meat! | {
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6,929 | I'd still lock the door. | {
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6,930 | Now he has to deal with people taking selfies in the hallway during nightshift and complaining how their feet hurt while chilling at the nursing station | {
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6,931 | http://i.imgur.com/jujRUpl.jpg | {
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6,932 | Just wait until she finds out her dad's reddit name is pornchitect | {
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6,933 | African or European? (smc) | {
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6,934 | http://i.imgur.com/mypHG.gif | {
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6,935 | Come on man, we can be respectful. I would respect the *shit* out of them. SO hard. | {
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6,936 | "AAARGH IT BURNS!".....sluuuurp..."AAAAARGH!"....slurp | {
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6,937 | Are you sure your old roommate's name isn't [George](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLwxKmor-xo)? | {
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6,938 | Out of all the replies this was the one that cracked me up the most. It's just so unreasonable. | {
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6,939 | One time my family went to the ripleys aquarium and the entire time she kept telling us to keep quiet and just look. Before we left we had to sit quietly with my grandma for a while. I found out my mom went to the manager and explained that we were all deaf and it was an audio tour and she felt it was not fair that her children didn't enjoy the same experience as everyone else and she got all her money back. My moms a schemer. | {
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6,940 | Oh god, you were that kid. I think every school has to have that kid, or some variant thereof. | {
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6,941 | sooo Off would be dancing to thriller then | {
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6,942 | This is beyond some Live Leak type of shit! | {
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6,943 | If you're scared of becoming an asshole, you won't be an asshole. | {
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6,944 | http://i.imgur.com/UdPSD.png | {
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6,945 | Put a camera in your mom's mouth? | {
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6,946 | /reddit\n\nWE'RE DONE HERE. | {
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6,947 | It wasn't legitimate hickey rape, or his body would have shut down and rejected the hickey\n | {
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6,948 | I WILL SHIT ON EVERYTHING OF HERS FOR YOU. | {
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6,949 | I have one regular customer who always pays for his $2 coffee with his credit card. I hold out my hand, he sets his card down on the smooth granite counter top, and then I make a show of trying to pick it up, taking longer than it should. When I'm done swiping his card, I set it back down on the counter and watch him struggle with it, as he did with me. We have been doing this for over a year. I'm not sure who is teaching the lesson any more! | {
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6,950 | http://i.imgur.com/FlcDH.jpg | {
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6,951 | That, gentlemen, is the definition of pure evil. | {
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6,952 | You've never been to a university, have you? | {
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6,953 | You should really watch other movies. There are some good ones out there. | {
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6,954 | And here I am with an infinite amount of knowledge around me, and the prospect of achieving great things... and I'm on reddit. | {
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6,955 | Or [the original save device](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/23/Rosetta_Stone.JPG) | {
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6,956 | http://i.imgur.com/DiqYH.png | {
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6,957 | I don't remember that episode... | {
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6,958 | Engagement rings are supposed to show a formal agreement to a proposed marriage and is a present typically for the wife to be, the actual ring(the one you're supposed to wear closest to the base of your finger as it's supposed to be closest to the heart) is for the actual marriage and is to show you have been married. | {
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6,959 | If your friend does not get pee shivers, he is the weird one. | {
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6,960 | Shit, I'd let him go. | {
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6,961 | Compared to the long, eloquent letters he wrote home, my version is kind of tame. | {
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6,962 | My girlfriend knew that a guy's dick gets bigger when it's erect, but she had no idea that it can be a 4:1 ratio. She couldn't stop staring at it. | {
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6,963 | My best friend in high school was named Crisco. We called him Lard for shortening.\n | {
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6,964 | Oh man, I do remember this. I initially joined Reddit to do an AMA and thought "this site is terrible, I can't do all of these replied fast enough!" I was unaware of all of these rules. | {
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6,965 | It's perfectly clear. She calls the husband a selfish bastard, and then uses the pictures against herself in court to get custody of the kids she already had. Right? | {
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6,966 | Please watch this orientation video: https://youtu.be/8LmPBPWHJu4 | {
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6,967 | Grades get you into college. People get you into jobs.\n\nEdit: Yes, I know it's not *just* people who can get you into jobs and that grades are still important. I'm just saying that some careers rely heavily on connections to get you into the industry. | {
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6,968 | Two Whites don't make a Wong. | {
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6,969 | Bottom half of IMDB ratings.\n | {
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6,970 | It was the least I could do for you both. Shitty taxi drivers like that give the city a bad name. Have a safe journey home. | {
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6,971 | \n( •_•) Hopefully \n( •_•)>⌐■-■ \n(⌐■_■)\nit goes down soon. | {
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6,972 | So the _worst_ you have is the selfie stick? ...do you guys accept immigrants? | {
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6,973 | SORCERY!\n\nBURN THE WITCH!! | {
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6,974 | That would probably make someone feel better until they find out the movie is called Ugly Midgets. | {
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6,975 | Obviously you didn't do a great job. | {
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6,976 | I think most manly men are into fucking Katy Perry. | {
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6,977 | Yeah I hate how the second you lose your job they confiscate all your money. | {
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6,978 | They promote learning by showing what happens when you don't. | {
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6,979 | sex.com, porn.com, travel.com, fuck.com, money.com, loans.com, mortgage.com, internet.com, email.com, milk.com, food.com, vodka.com, etc.com \n \nvodka.com was sold for $3m a few years ago. \n \nreddit.com, google.com, etc. are worthless in this scenario. | {
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6,980 | Well.. at least you saw it coming. | {
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6,981 | So the writers basically did the most badass audition ever?\n\nEdit: yay, highest comment! | {
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6,982 | Now I want to use "I'm a gynecologist so cunts are my business." | {
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6,983 | Why? You finally get a hole to actually fuck a foot and you just quit? | {
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6,984 | Fine...I'll sacrifice myself for you Jamie. | {
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6,985 | Major flaw. Half of us won't even leave the house that day | {
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6,986 | To be fair cracked was always clickbait. It's just now a more preachy less fun clickbait. | {
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6,987 | A whoooooooole neeeww world. | {
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6,988 | It's impossible to say. I've done over 50,000 Interviews. I guess I would say Frank Sinatra only because he didn't do interviews, and he was hard to get, but he did it because he liked me. It was a very personal and wonderful interview because I am such a fan of his. | {
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6,989 | Because teenage drinking is wrong.\n\nLeBron got yo back | {
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6,990 | My biggest fear as a "grower" is that more women think this way. | {
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6,991 | >sunscribe\n>>unsuscribe\n\nThis is getting out of hand.\n | {
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6,992 | haha i know right, text me | {
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6,993 | This motherfucker has a **wife?** Are you completely positive that it's not just the asshole, wearing a wig? | {
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6,994 | I'm 32, but I look like I'm in my early 20's. We also have a lax dress code in the biology department so I was wearing jeans, a blouse and a blazer. | {
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6,995 | http://i.imgur.com/cTasE.gif | {
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6,996 | He became a strawberry milkshake. | {
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6,997 | undocumented democrats | {
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6,998 | Looks like they were pestoring you. | {
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6,999 | >I'm p cray.\n\nI hate you | {
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} |
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