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6,400 | Binders full of lesbians? | {
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6,401 | Fuck, im still getting paid in Trident Layers... | {
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6,402 | Don't ever give up. You are young and there will be hard times ahead. Don't give up. Don't ever | {
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6,403 | NIGGA WHAT THE FUCK.\n\nWHAT THE FUCK. NIGGA ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHAT DA FUCK.\n\nWHAT DA FUCK?\n\n\nBut really, nice job on delivering OP. You're awesome. | {
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6,404 | My chemistry teacher in high school did this thing where every year he would begin the class by talking about how, theoretically, with the vast empty spaces in individual atoms, there could be a time when all the atoms in the classroom wall and his body would sync up and allow him to pass through. He proceeded to walk straight into the wall and deadpan "Well, it didn't work that time. Maybe next year."\n\nPerhaps the atoms lined up. | {
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6,405 | So uh...\n\nYou doing anything later? | {
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6,406 | Be cool did the same sort of thing. | {
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6,407 | I like that she prepared ahead of time, rather than come unprepared and waste people's time even more. | {
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6,408 | Maybe you're so retarded you don't even know it. | {
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6,409 | That is just depressing | {
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6,410 | It's not their fault if he can't follow instructions. | {
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6,411 | Similar story at my high school, the so-called "school slut" was super involved with extracurriculars and she won an award for Outstanding Community Service when we all graduated. | {
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6,412 | You're a good friend. You need better friends to be a good friend to. | {
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6,413 | I know this will get buried, but _____. | {
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6,414 | All I could picture was kids running up on Clint Eastwood's porch from Gran Torino. | {
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6,415 | Always bet on Mississippi. | {
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6,416 | Dear sweet baby jesus. | {
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6,417 | I guess that would make her a one-eyed, one-legged fighting hobbled people-hater. | {
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6,418 | Ah, the classic "either-or-either" sentence. Nice. | {
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6,419 | Higher daddy, higher!\n\n\nEdit: Dreams do come true! Thanks for the gold! | {
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6,420 | dump her ass, for real. | {
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6,421 | Your doctor confused chin hair with hydras. | {
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6,422 | Her dream job is doing it. | {
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6,423 | The invention of ball gag was really breath taking. | {
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6,424 | It is really nice to hear a story like this where the person actually gets better. The vast majority of stories that start with "I had to put a girl in restraints that included her head when she started biting chunks out of her own shoulder." do not end well. | {
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6,425 | That would be like, hooking your anus to a fixed metal pipe, then running your ass off, literally. | {
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6,426 | And drive at 16! Even in my country, where you are allowed to drive from the age of 18, most accidents involve youthfull drivers (under ~23 years old) | {
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6,427 | As an ugly woman, part of me is happy. Part of me is sad. | {
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6,428 | As a baby magnet, I can confirm this happens. | {
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6,429 | > My PC is pretty much my personal computer\n\nyeah OK | {
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6,430 | "Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you."\n | {
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6,431 | They say that 1 out of every 3 people in the US lives next to a pedophile. Not me though, I live next to two smokin' hot 13-year-olds\n\n\n... I'll show myself out | {
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6,432 | I was thinkin' one night, while watchin' Chronicles of Riddick\n \nMy time'd be better spent as an Internet critic.\n \nSo I logged onto Reddit, my dick in my hand\n \nAnd that's when I formulated my master plan\n \nI saw a dude who was rappin'. I couldn't handle his flow!\n \nSo I slapped my dick on the keys and tried to let him know\n \nPEACE | {
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6,433 | Never heard the one about the elephants, awesome. | {
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6,434 | Third. I'm sure that a significant majority of us here are inquisitive in part to people like you, who showed us that there is virtue in the pursuit of knowledge. | {
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6,435 | Well they don't really care at all they carry on business as usual. Sometimes they will try to make you feel a little better throwing a promotion here and there but at the end the higher ups only care about themselves. | {
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6,436 | Given that he called us humans, it is obvious that he is a dog and just learned to type. Having an age that is a multiple of 7 is also a bit of a giveaway. | {
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6,437 | My mother-in-law has about 20 pairs of reading glasses cause she loses them all the time. Well, she loses them a lot by putting them up on her head and when she can't find them she just goes and gets another. I've caught her before with 3 pairs of glasses on her head. | {
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6,438 | And worthless after you contaminate it. | {
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6,439 | And it only took 50,000 likes on Facebook to achieve this! | {
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6,440 | http://i.imgur.com/A1HTR.png | {
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6,441 | I read that as you switched your search engine to bing for a month... | {
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6,442 | TL;DR, a neighbor took me in and finally let me back outside. | {
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6,443 | Now I ain't saying she's a throne digger... | {
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6,444 | You should label them | {
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6,445 | I'm his brother and can safely say that he made that comment up. We don't even have a sister. You can sleep soundly tonight. | {
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6,446 | It's something of a remnant from œ I believe, kind of like how dingleberries are remnants of that shit you took earlier today. | {
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6,447 | Wow, Dexter's a lot more open these days | {
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6,448 | You're manlier than I am... | {
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6,449 | My 4th grade teacher once told us that our college professors would only accept our papers and essays in cursive. \n\nLOL\n\nEdit: Spelling. And when I say spelling I mean auto correct. | {
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6,450 | I think this is my favorite response. | {
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6,451 | Puberty is nature's roller coaster. | {
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6,452 | QUICK BEAT YOUR WIFE SO YOU CAN GET OFF EASY! | {
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6,453 | I get confused a lot when I am here. Like, why the fuck am I here? I don't even like these people. | {
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6,454 | >By the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means "you are," Y-O-U-R means your!\n\nFTFY\n\nEDIT: [My reaction to someone downvoting me even though you know I'm right.](http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/3612301/friends-fine-by-me-o.gif) | {
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6,455 | Not much. I've been sober for over 2 years now and am back in school studying biomedical engineering. | {
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6,456 | Its death is still buffering. | {
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6,457 | Every science hypothesis is vetted among the team, and we would want to make sure we were absolutely certain it was life/fossils/etc. before releasing it to the public. But we absolutely would release this information, once we had sufficient evidence and it was agreed upon among the science teams! We follow this procedure for all of our interesting finds.\n\n-Keri/@KeriOnMars | {
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6,458 | for this next stunt (tomorrow night at 730 PM in new york) i actually have a harness so i dont fall off and die, which normally i would never worry about | {
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6,459 | I know how to open a door in Minecraft using redstone | {
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6,460 | It's like you wanted to get caught. | {
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6,461 | > brings up the fact that you cry when you watch Nicholas Sparks movies.\n\nMy partner knows about how I cry during every Nicholas Cage movie.\n\n"Why? Why is he doing this? Doesn't he know how terrible it is???" | {
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6,462 | you mean your mom?\n\nO SNAP\n\n^sorry, ^couldn't ^resist | {
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6,463 | I read this today. Seems on point:\n\n“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”\n\n― Jim Rohn | {
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6,464 | Ha ha. I actually liked black parents better. All parents just let their kids run wild there, but if they were misbehaving and you brought the kid to their parents, the white ones would get very defensive and entitled. The black parents would promise to "whoop his ass later."\n\nI'm white, so I can be mean to white people. | {
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6,465 | "Lady, stop hitting me, I'm trying to fix your carburetor." | {
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6,466 | I also work at home. No pants Fridays? No pants every day. | {
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6,467 | The day men stopped caring about getting real pussy.\n\nEdit: Thanks for the gold ya filthy animal! | {
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6,468 | Aaaaaaaand now I'm subscribed to this subreddit. | {
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6,469 | Reminds me of a joke:\n\nPerson 1: Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?\n\nPerson 2: No.\n\nPerson 1: So it was you! | {
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6,470 | +1 for putting in the effort to reach us with your advice! | {
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6,471 | Return their television. Problem solved.\n\nIf anybody needs me, I'll be in Hell. | {
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6,472 | I just read "He Wanted to" Below...I'll take that for 100 | {
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6,473 | not if I'm within 500 feet. | {
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6,474 | just buy a diva cup dude. it takes up like, 3 cubic inches of space as opposed to closet full and it's way more cost effective.\n\nand don't be all like 'Diva Cups are gross' cause I know you get peanut butter and jelly period shits like the rest of us. | {
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6,475 | It's a Swiss army vagina | {
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6,476 | > I worked at a law firm \n\n | {
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6,477 | http://imgur.com/jHrQy | {
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6,478 | http://i.imgur.com/EjSfN.jpg | {
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6,479 | "Bitch" - Jessie - S5E04\n"Bitch" - Jessie - S1E02 | {
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6,480 | Upvote for having your sandwhich-related priorities straight. | {
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6,481 | I guess he's never seen the Michael Bay Transformers movies then. | {
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6,482 | My brother, a known idiot, has told his 14- year old daughter, in all seriousness, that if we could just unlock the full potential of our brains that we would be able TO FLY. She had asked me about it because "it didn't sound right." No, no it doesn't sound right. | {
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6,483 | Builds immune system for more serious attacks | {
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6,484 | Help, Pope not dying\n\nEdit: Thanks for the gold! | {
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6,485 | I wonder what it feels like to be vindicated and immortalized all in one day.\n | {
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6,486 | How bad can a 3½-inch floppy be? | {
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6,487 | I made an account so I could unsubscribe from /r/atheism and not see it on my front page. | {
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6,488 | "Why is corki in the middle of our team?" - TSM\n\n"Why is corki in the middle of their team?" - CLG | {
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6,489 | I find it utterly intolerable. My poor boyfriend knows to turn the tv on when we eat for fear of his life. It will put me in a horrible mood. | {
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6,490 | I bake the fuck out of pies, bread, and sometimes sit down when I pee. Just the other day my gf needed a pair of shoes and didn't have time to get any, so I went shopping for her.\n\nI've never seen something so fragile as the male ego.\n\nIt's really, *really* nice to do what I want and not give a fuck. | {
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6,491 | You know, Ive tried saying meow but there's just not as many chances to say "now" when someone's ordering a yummy coffee. | {
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6,492 | An alien mothership running windows 95... it's amazing to think they actually made it to Earth in one piece. | {
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6,493 | If you repeatedly get jewellery you will never wear, your parents really don't understand you very well. | {
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6,494 | This is so cool! Where the hell did they say the car was for the duration of the repairs? | {
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6,495 | Nah, just nervous. It was the first time a Lion had been at the super bowl, after all. | {
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6,496 | It's Mario KART you fucking liar | {
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6,497 | How do you get a Jewish girl's number? *Roll up her sleeve!* | {
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6,498 | And then orchestral soundtrack with the volume of a fighter jet. | {
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6,499 | good thing they got there before you both got raped... | {
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"flagged": true
} |
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