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3,800 | http://imgur.com/viK9K | {
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3,801 | I think there's a third option. She was really new at the job, which is what I think it was. | {
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3,802 | 100 duck sized horses for sure. I'd get a golf club and some steel-toes. \n\nA horse sized duck is utterly terrifying....that's just plain fowl. | {
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3,803 | For some reason garlic bread was what I wanted most | {
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3,804 | Now I have a full-on justice boner | {
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3,805 | That's disgusting and ingenious. | {
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3,806 | 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner formulas. | {
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3,807 | This might be the best answer in the thread. You would easily survive the fall, which is questionable for many answers. At $1,130 per liter from Sigma Aldrich, an Olympic swimming pool of heavy water would be worth a cool 2.3 billion dollars. If you set up a De Beers situation, even with taxes, and the cost of purifying swimming-pool-contaminated heavy water, you would have more money than you know what to do with. | {
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3,808 | Well, the massive anti-terror bill is clearly designed to distract you from the maple syrup conspiracy.\n\nEdit: Gold? Nice try, Canada. No amount of gold can buy my silence! | {
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3,809 | "Hollywood Upstairs Medical College" | {
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3,810 | I first stuck it in crazy. Then I found new crazy to stick it in. Then I found another new crazy, but this one was less crazy than the others. I fell for this crazy and dated her for three years. Then she dumped me. Now I realize that none of them were really that crazy, and it was me who was crazy the whoooole time. | {
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3,811 | http://imgur.com/hJVxK\n\n[The curiosity watercolours, if you're interested](http://redd.it/xq555)\n\nPS. http://imgur.com/9vNeb\n\nEdit2: done! http://i.imgur.com/cqfQbHG.jpg | {
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3,812 | Some day I will find the edge and press my nipples against it | {
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3,813 | She was probably too busy with a phone conversation about the dangers of gluten. | {
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3,814 | Question for oops_shart: "What kind of life do you have if a top thrill is to be asked a question by me?"\nj/k oops. j/k\n | {
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3,815 | "Lol mom i got me a swastika tattoo! Pretty cool huh?"\n\n"Fucking shit billy..." | {
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3,816 | I am a very big fan of Conan, so I am tickled anytime I get to go play with him and his gang. An incredibly funny chap named Brian Stack, who has been writing for Conan for about 15 years, thought up the idea, and he makes it happen. Just happy to do my part. | {
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3,817 | So in other words, cheap alcohol gives you worse hangovers because you can buy more of it. | {
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3,818 | 2011 Draft\n\n10th Pick to SAC: Fredette\n\n11th Pick to GSW: Thompson | {
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3,819 | Lockheed don't give a fuck about energy companies. | {
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3,820 | Jesus dude, you went 22 consecutive days without laughing? \n\nCan i get you something? some soup maybe? the numbers of local mental health clinics? a blanket? | {
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3,821 | Go to Engineering school and don't worry about getting laid at all! | {
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3,822 | That'd be the wedding Singer. | {
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3,823 | It's not premarital if you never get married.\n\nLAWYERED | {
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3,824 | I read this, and immediately got a knock on the door. \n\nShit myself.\n\nFound myself eating pizza 2 minutes later. | {
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3,825 | I think I just re-acquired my virginity watching that. | {
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3,826 | Mexican pornographer? | {
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3,827 | I don't know, it still seems to be more acceptable to do an exaggerated French or German accent than a Japanese or Indian one.\n\nSo it's actually making fun of *non-white* people who speak English as a second language. | {
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3,828 | I imagine it being like ~~every~~ *the best* sci-fi action film bathroom... All nude, all showering, all joking around... ALL THE TIME...\n\nedit: fine not every but the way it [should be (NSFW)](https://imgur.com/h82KP9x) | {
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3,829 | Who are the drill people? | {
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3,830 | I was talking about my fiance who died of cancer last year. | {
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3,831 | They ninja their way into the house via a tiny tiny crack, or osmosis.\n\nWide open door or window and they can't find the way out! | {
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3,832 | He'd drop the bottle first. | {
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3,833 | Some people don't believe in the golden ants. | {
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3,834 | Well, in the early early days, I was the ice cream deliverperson. \n\nAnd in the early early days, we had a Vermont Maple Walnut ice cream. It was a flavor. And nobody ever bought it, and I'm wondering *Why is there this flavor* and I finally did a promotion one time, at the State Capitol House, and I discovered the only people who eat Maple Walnut are politicians.\n\nYes.\n\nI think they're just trying to prove that they're really Vermont-y or something! | {
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3,835 | Like, stopping on a main road to let the person that doesn't have the right of way go? And especially not flashing their lights all the way up the road to know they're doing it? Then it takes longer to turn because you have to wait for that person to pass but then they stop? | {
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3,836 | "Oh hai, I am 22 and just got off of the Greyhound from Iowa to be an actress. I work at Starbucks. This is my two bedroom apartment in SoHo."\n\nUmmm, no it's not love. Heh.\n\nI worked as an editorial assistant on Park Avenue making somewhat okay money, and could only afford a good sized studio in Astoria when I lived in NYC. Those scenes make me laugh every time. | {
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3,837 | I would pronounce it "the rapey" and not understand when corrected. | {
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3,838 | They pulled out a couple of [these bad boys](http://bin.snmmd.nl/m/m1byrg7wn9f1.jpg) from the shed out back | {
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3,839 | "SHOW US YER TITS, LUV!!!" | {
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3,840 | Dude and you had the nerve to add her on Facebook? The balls on this guy... | {
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3,841 | http://www.livememe.com/s5kcc1t\n\nEdit: Wooo! Victory edit! | {
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3,842 | welcome aboard\n\nhttp://i.imgur.com/riFLMzB.jpg | {
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3,843 | those boobs belong to Taylor Stevens. this was at staples center during the 2012 stanley cup finals against the LA kings. i believe she sat there as a distraction for the away team\n\nEdit: [here](http://i.imgur.com/P6eMZpI.gif) she is behind the sharks coach, Todd Mclellan during another playoff series against the kings | {
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3,844 | As far as I'm concerned she's a freaking money making genius. She knows Americans love to hate a vapid, ignorant, spoiled rich girl and she cashed in on that by playing the part and making herself rich in the process.\n\nI wish I could just act like a complete idiot for a couple years and walk away set for life. | {
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3,845 | BACK TO BACK WORLD WAR CHAMPS! | {
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3,846 | That's ok. Lots of Canadians go on to live normal, productive, apologetic lives. | {
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3,847 | Would you ever consider doing it independently, on YouTube or on its own site? | {
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3,848 | The invention of the whiteboard was truly remarkable | {
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3,849 | Well, you know, we're all curious. We all live in America, and we are all curious bout people, who they are, where they come from. I'm very private person, I keep that way, that's my choice. I am America, I keep that way. Thank you for asking that. | {
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3,850 | ^#TheKingIsDead\n\n\n\n^#YOLO\n\n\n\n^#WhenAmIGoingToBecomeAKing | {
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3,851 | I think the secret is that no one with bad skin is posting. | {
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3,852 | Sucker, I could do the same and only be forty SIX. IN YOUR FACE! | {
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3,853 | But they make up for it by being dogs. | {
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3,854 | Hi, this is me, Nick :)\n\nThere is no kickstarter campaign because kickstarter always rejects Calyx's proposals, claiming that we are "not a good fit".\n\nI am working on setting up a campaign at IndieGoGo instead, and I will post a link to it as soon as it's ready.\n\nStay tuned for further details\n\n\n**UPDATE: http://www.indiegogo.com/calyx <-- please spread far and wide - we can do this !** | {
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3,855 | Hey having an altar in your house is useful. You can use it to restore your prayer points and you can sacrifice bones to it for exp. | {
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3,856 | Instruction unclear. Jizzed all over Gamestop. | {
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3,857 | Thank you for fact checking | {
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3,858 | Classic take on the ol' popcorn bucket trick. | {
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3,859 | I would never fight two of the greatest men who've ever lived. I'd fight whoever they told me to fight. I'm a soldier- they are the Generals. | {
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3,860 | You never asked about fucking chickens in her house? \n\nEdit: my confusion caused a grammatical fuck up. I don't think he's fucking her chickens. Goddammit. | {
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3,861 | "JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING ADDRESS!" | {
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3,862 | Hey!!! Don't make fun of Vincent Adultman! He has to go work at the Business Factory tomorrow!!! | {
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3,863 | Very glad you survived it without contracting HIV. I survived it, but was not so lucky. Fortunately, I'm still here, but I feel your pain. Back in '89, I just kept my suit coat hanging on the hook on the back of my bedroom door because I was wearing it every week to attend someone's funeral. It was a horrible, frightening time. | {
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3,864 | YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN THAT | {
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3,865 | they all think they are better than everyone else because they have more money but the reality of the matter is that they are all morally corrupt and many of them inherited their money. They see themselves as the tit that society is sucking on when in reality they are the ones sucking the life out of everyone else. I strive to be different, at least I try. | {
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3,866 | I do love model trains. They carry memories from childhood. But for me, there's more. If we had more and better trains in the U.S., I'm pretty sure we'd be better off. Trains are more efficient than just about any other form of transportation: They roll with much less friction than rubber tires. They do not have to carry surplus motive power (energy/unit of time). And, they run on schedules that can be optimized for energy use and level of service. What's not to love?... | {
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3,867 | Step 2: Cancel Castle.\nStep 3: Cancel Homeland.\nStep 4: Generally destroy everybody's careers.\nStep 5: Avoid Step 2. | {
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3,868 | Don't you understand that because you're friends with someone they're obligated to have sex with you? | {
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3,869 | "I fear not the man who has practiced 10000 notes once, but I fear the man who has practiced one note 10000 times." - Bruce Lee | {
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3,870 | Or just anything in general. | {
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3,871 | Meh, I'm not really sure that's huge nipples. | {
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3,872 | I look like fucking poseidon and I love to pick out the right color. When them bitches be like "sir, this is called mauve" I bust out my handy-dandy "naw bitch it's mauve *taupe*, get outta here while the pros do their shit" | {
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3,873 | In the newest iteration of GTA, they just kinda walk up, check vitals, and give up | {
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3,874 | Ah yes, quesadillas and Buffalo sauce. Classic outback bush tucker, just like the Aboriginals made. | {
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3,875 | Economists: Know the price of everything, the value of nothing | {
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3,876 | Oh yeah, that's the map, "isolation", from Halo 3. | {
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3,877 | he can dance if he wants to. he can leave his friends behind. cuz his friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine. safety. | {
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3,878 | And half of Narnia are having adventures in him. | {
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3,879 | I usually know that, but this photo was so powerful I fell for it. I'm sorry, I should have checked better before posting. | {
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3,880 | Q: What's that spinning thing on top of a helicopter? \n\nA: A fan. The moment the damn thing is turned off, the people inside start sweating. | {
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3,881 | http://imgur.com/9AOSq | {
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3,882 | That's a pretty modest proposal. | {
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3,883 | Yes! They also crack clams on their tummy. I keep telling them "I'm from Albany - I like steamed *hams,* not steamed clams!" | {
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3,884 | I really want this to become your most upvoted comment. \n\nEDIT: We did it reddit. | {
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3,885 | Gosh...They shot part of "J. Edgar" near us and Chevy wandered over onto their set and pretended to be on the crew until Clint Eastwood noticed him. | {
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3,886 | just read this while working at a government agency. Upvote for you | {
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3,887 | Is it because you were born on February 29th? | {
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3,888 | "It was like the guy had never seen something in 3D before, shesh..." Lol | {
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3,889 | totally should have done it. brojob never hurt anyone. | {
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3,890 | To be fair that doesn't even make sense to us in the present day. | {
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3,891 | Because the correct answer is always "your pussy". You can't lose. | {
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3,892 | That is awesome, thanks! "You're going down Homer, and then you're going back up again. That's how the game is played."\n | {
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3,893 | It was a big relief because I knew I had to prove this guy wrong. | {
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3,894 | Good god, I have wasted my life. | {
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3,895 | I can explain that, a fucking train crashed through the window. | {
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3,896 | http://i.imgur.com/f85bX.jpg | {
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3,897 | Hey that didn't stop Michael jackson | {
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3,898 | I once got an XL pizza for carryout. I made small talk with the guy at the pizza place so I just told him my girlfriend was waiting at home.\n\nI guess the good thing about not having a girlfriend is that I didn't have to share my pizza, cause that shit was delicious. | {
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3,899 | The indian gentlemen didn't even have a beard! | {
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