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3,500 | Mine's similar - my mom walked in on me and a friend (I didn't have a boyfriend at the time, this was just a very close FWB) cuddling after sex once..I was 19..and she called me a slut for a really long time after. Like would send me letters and emails, basically just to call me a slut. | {
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3,501 | youre some kind of evil\n | {
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3,502 | Ripperoni in Pepperoni 😭\n\nEDIT: Many thanks to the kind user who have me gold! Glad I could help brighten someone's day😊 | {
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3,503 | Why the fuck would you do that? | {
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3,504 | Sounds like she was planning to sue the school from the get go. You post one thing on facebook during school hours and she would use a screen cap in court. You didn't accept her friend request and she decided to spy on you at home. When that failed she used your "lack of interaction" as an excuse to go ahead and sue like she was planning anyways. Hope she didn't get a dime. | {
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3,505 | "It's not what it looks like, let me explain!"\n\n"No! Your abrupt change in character can have no other explanation! I must flee!"\n\n"Fine, but I'll be too stubborn to follow up with you about how this is all a misunderstanding."\n\n"That's ok, I would ignore your calls and have my sassy best friend be the go-between anyways." | {
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3,506 | That bleeding looks pretty external to me. | {
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3,507 | Hahahahahahahahaha your wording makes the action seem like such a gentle, tender moment. Here poop, go quietly into the dark night (slash plumbing). | {
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3,508 | Every ten minutes? Not every game is against Brazil. | {
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3,509 | There she is!\n\nEdit: For everyone wondering if I know what my username is, im fully aware that it means penis in welsh. I wanted to see if it was taken and here we are\n\nEdit2: Diolch yn fawr am yr aur! | {
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3,510 | SpyKids 3D: Game Over is the absolute worst. I remember seeing that one in the theatre when I was 10 and saving my 3D Glasses because I didn't think they'd be included with the movie once it was available for rental (people would probably lose or destroy them). Don't know why I was so eager to see it again. | {
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3,511 | **How I Boned A Bunch of Women Before I Met Your Mother** | {
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3,512 | When he was about 8 years old, they had Grandparents Day at school, so my mom went to hang out with him. They were very close and had spent tons of time together. His teacher says "And who is this, Jake?" He looks at my mom and says, "what are you, my aunt or something??" | {
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3,513 | Everyone forgets he's immortal though. My theory is that he had to come up with a way to hide his immortality and there just happened to be a fridge nearby. | {
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3,514 | I think we're all a little surprised that it looks as good as it does. | {
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3,515 | At that age they know right from wrong and this type of sadism probably means a couple of future serial killers just got taken off the streets. | {
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3,516 | In 2050 there will be no more OPs like this one. | {
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3,517 | Exactly! I've always hated the term "reverse racism". It is just racism. | {
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3,518 | If not MILLIONS. Everyone send positive vibes to OP! | {
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3,519 | Tbh, the kind of people who use their children like that aren't usually the type to be devastated about it later. Sorry. \n\n*Internet hugs* tho. You seem to have learned from their mistake and good on you! | {
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3,520 | The person who took the picture is higher\n◔ ◡ ◔\n\n | {
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3,521 | http://imgur.com/WFpZNQW | {
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3,522 | That exactly what I thought a twin would say. *If he had the smaller penis*. | {
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3,523 | Don't be ashamed, be proud your grandmother is still modelling at her age. | {
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3,524 | Having to wait for someone to get off the phone so you could use the phone. | {
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3,525 | Wait... it *doesn't* work?\n\nBrb | {
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3,526 | It's 3 times. Just remember the jingle:\n\nRoll, roll, roll your bag \nThen enjoy your snack! \nMerrily merrily merrily merrily \nOnly 3 times you fucking idiot | {
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3,527 | As a german: I don't understand why anybody would NOT want to live like this. You guys make fun of us. But we have figured it out. | {
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3,528 | It reminds me of ['the boner apparatus']\n(http://files.sharenator.com/391135.png) | {
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3,529 | Snarky comment about previous poster will go here | {
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3,530 | GREAT Question!\n\nFirst of all, you can compare Lisa to Eleezabeth Taylor, to when she did CLEOPATRA. The ladies, they don't have to wear jeans, they can wear dresses to be very powerful.\n\nSo Lisa's character is very powerful. She represents American society.\n\nSo that's my answer. Move on, next one! | {
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3,531 | but what if the life-form only comes out at night... | {
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3,532 | Wait, there were multiple people with PSPs in your school? I know only two in mine, and one of them already graduated. I need to find new people to play monster hunter with. | {
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3,533 | Reddit can make this happen. We will do everything in our power. | {
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3,534 | Too bad Teddy Roosevelt has been dead for awhile.\n\nEdit: brb gonna see if I can resurrect Teddy Roosevelt with reddit gold | {
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3,535 | "Ok, last question: what are your thoughts on the recent decline in the quality of /r/gonewild?"\n\n"This is something I am very passionate about. The amount of quality content...wait...shit" | {
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3,536 | I hardly knew him\n\nEdit: WooHoo Gold. You guys guild the dumbest shit. Thank you. | {
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3,537 | I think fat takes away a persons uniqueness. Defining features just get rounded out and they look the same. | {
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3,538 | OP I hope you read ^this post. It's the plain, honest truth. | {
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3,539 | Infidels! You know nothing of repeat. All you do is lather and rinse! | {
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3,540 | Ha! My friend's grandparents had a similar story of being scandalized by a lout at a bar in key west who was insulting patrons from behind a daquiri.\n\nErnest Hemingway. | {
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3,541 | Absolutely not. Three or so weeks after the incident I was told I couldn't be class representative anymore because I didn't show up to any of the meetings. I probably could be a politician if I wasn't such a lazy ass. | {
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3,542 | I suppose you could say they were\n\n\n*puts on sunglasses*\n\n\ndedicated servers.\n\n\n\nYEEEAAAAAAH | {
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3,543 | Surprised this is so far down. A 130 foot tall statue of a guy with a bit of a thing for decimating entire populations? It's all over.\n\nEdit: in b4 another person points out what decimating means despite a dozen or so people clearly already have. Even going as far to summon me to a post reply a level under mine like /u/presidentjim. (so definitely sees all the replies). Yeah, it's wrong. I think everyone gets it. Man, some people need funny validation. | {
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3,544 | That one sounds like you really need to be high to enjoy it. | {
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3,545 | I think you fell for a person, not a gender. | {
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3,546 | Neighbor: "Hey, you know I would really appreciate it if you could.. you know... be more quiet during your... evening activities."\n\nOP: "Yeah sure, but you can join in any time you want."\n\nNeighbor: "WHAT"\n\nOP:"Sure, you can also bring your kids with you."\n\n"..." | {
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3,547 | And when you can't breathe anymore and begin clapping your hands, making you look like a retarded mute seal. | {
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3,548 | Probably a lisp programmer. | {
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3,549 | *he mutters to himself in the shower that night* | {
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3,550 | I get married next month, will update on the +/- | {
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3,551 | And ugly people. You forgot ugly people. They're unattractive. | {
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3,552 | Oh really? I have the utmost respect for you, personally and professionally. But that's ok, you're entitled to your opinion. | {
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3,553 | Even your writing has a Russian accent. | {
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3,554 | No, but I have friends at school. And she has pretty black hair and a small face, and eyes and a nose and a mouth. And small legs. And pretty shoes. And pretty and small arms and hands and fingers. And her name is Lilly. I really like her. | {
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3,555 | You'd probably just have an entirelly different circle of friends due to your maturity level. | {
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3,556 | Think about it. Under the old system, we could have likely seen an Alabama/FSU championship game.\n\nNow they both will watch at home.\n\nLong live the playoffs. | {
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3,557 | So you're saying that the beat was so fresh that it brought down the house | {
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3,558 | lik dis if ur frend diez evertim | {
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3,559 | Or not seeing the photos of an event for 6 months because there was still 4 pictures left to take before it could be sent away to be developed.\n\nThank you for the Gold Internet Stranger! | {
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3,560 | 11 year old me would have been watching that channel that used to just play movie trailers for the 0.7 seconds of Demi Moore sideboob in *Striptease*...\n\nJust 12 more minutes and they'll show it again. Like a monk, I sit. Patient like the mountain, unmoved by time. Eternal boob searcher. | {
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3,561 | There's a disease of the brain that affects the regions related to Parkinsons and Huntingtons, but it's caused by strep infections. It's called Sydenham's chorea, but it used to be called St. Vitus dance. I would guess that the dancing plague was something similar. | {
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3,562 | once you learn to beat my kennen in a 1v1 maybe i'll respond to your questions ;) | {
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3,563 | I genuinely had a hearty laugh from this series of comments. Thanks reddit for my making my dull day amazing as always <3\n\nEdit: this is my most points ever in a comment. Thanks again reddit! You've helped me earn internet points :)) | {
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3,564 | Wow, that was 2013? Time is passing me by. | {
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3,565 | This wouldn't just blow people's minds, it'd terrify them. | {
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3,566 | Do you girls also open 30 tabs of different videos and only watch the ending of the first? | {
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3,567 | No, some people are terrorists | {
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3,568 | 404 feeling not found | {
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3,569 | We do. We're no scrubs. | {
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3,570 | That's pretty damn funny. Isn't really that cringe worthy on your part other than how you handled it. | {
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3,571 | I don't get it.\n\nedit: I get it. | {
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3,572 | Wow! I learnt a lot of Jordan by reading this one comment. Thank you | {
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3,573 | upvote for 'vagina's browsing history' | {
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3,574 | Why would you name your child herpes | {
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3,575 | Someone's a little upset because they didn't get an invite. | {
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3,576 | I once had to do the quick dick hide right as my orgasm hit. Ruined my pants, ruined my orgasm, ruined my relationship with my brother. | {
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3,577 | He actually posted a strategy he already has a counter-strategy for. Always one step ahead, that PigSlam. | {
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3,578 | To be fair, that is sound logic. | {
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3,579 | If I called my mom and immediately told her I love her, she'd just ask how much I wanted now. | {
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3,580 | He also gave you very good advice. | {
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3,581 | She was wet from the guy she was texting | {
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3,582 | Another thing most don't know is that 99% of strippers never get close to making $5000 a night. | {
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3,583 | Dyson?\n\nEdit: To the people complaining that I ruined the joke /u/PM_ME_THE_NUMBER_112 above actually had negative points until I commented | {
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3,584 | I just used the default particle color for the puke, but I think it works well enough. Maybe he drank a huge orange slush?\n\n[One gif plus puke](http://i.imgur.com/coxALbo.gif) | {
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3,585 | I still play soccer but don't shake hands. | {
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3,586 | > continuously \n\nJust follow the trail! | {
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3,587 | If god didn't want us to pee in sinks, he wouldn't have put them at dick level. | {
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3,588 | *reads username*\n\nhey you don't belong in this thread at all! | {
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3,589 | Haha. It's not, but I can see it being reposted for ironyvotes in the near future. | {
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3,590 | HOLY SHIT i have gone 32 years without knowing this trick | {
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3,591 | Give a man a mask and he'll show you his true face\n\nEdit: thanks for the gold folks. \n\nEdit 2: I heard quote from a friend, chill out guys. Anyways, its apparently a paraphrase from V for Vendetta which itself is a paraphrase from a quote by Oscar Wilde. | {
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3,592 | And everyone who tries it ends up dead. 100% | {
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3,593 | Machetes are half off. Now he's got two machetes. Your move.\n\nEdit: Unnecessary apostrophe | {
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3,594 | Same. I always check out girls. It's either for appreciation, comparison, or hating...depending on my mood. | {
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3,595 | Does that make it 0K. | {
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3,596 | My wife elbows me in the face if I try that. | {
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3,597 | http://i.imgur.com/KywVV5u.jpg | {
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3,598 | The inner dentist in me cringed at the thought of holding diet coke in your mouth for longer than a second. | {
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3,599 | It was a sweet Vidalia, so it wasn't too difficult. We purposefully left on the dry, outer skin. That was the worst part. But it made it funnier, made it a lot louder and messier. | {
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