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2,800 | Game of Scones.\n\n\nedit: Aw, shucks, guys - I don't care about the gold, it's an honour just that some of you considered it gold-worthy. But how didn't any of you nerds reply with "Scones of Dunshire"?! | {
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2,801 | i put up a pic. if you can't see it, it's because i'm too stupid to know how to post it. if i were lying, i would say i'm bono. | {
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2,802 | Explain! like I'm five! | {
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2,803 | They were rescued by 3 scuba divers who pushed them to shore, they'd been standing on the beach when the ice broke away - [News Story](http://www.bostonnewstime.com/national/95326-teens-begin-floating-away-into-in-lake-michigan-on-a-tiny-iceberg.html) | {
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2,804 | "...And Broses then led the Jews out of the desert, and into the fertile valley of Friends with Benefits." | {
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2,805 | I just pictured nihilists creating coloring books: "All effort and desire is futile, little Lebowski." | {
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2,806 | "MISSUHWURLWI-"\n\n"What the fuck was that?"\n\n"Nothing, nothing, now cum in my cookie dough". | {
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2,807 | Fidel Castro. No one led a country for more years than him. Politics aside he has been one of the most fascinating world figures. | {
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2,808 | It was long and repetitive. Like NASCAR. | {
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2,809 | There seemed to be a lot of drinking involved. | {
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2,810 | Good Golly. \n\n* Losing custody of your child in a divorce: *Sucks monkey balls.*\n* Being legally forbidden to see your child: *No words.* \n\nCall him. He still loves you and wants you back in his life. | {
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2,811 | Put the glitter in paper tubes taped to the fan blades, openings facing towards the tip and base of the fan blade. That way the glitter doesn't fall off the blade immediately, but goes shooting out once the fan blades gain enough speed. Much better coverage that way. | {
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2,812 | "Obtain those qualities. His qualities. And wear his qualities, because now they are my qualities." | {
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2,813 | He did start out literally making beats: he is a music producer. No, he doesn't hand make each set of headphones. That's what children in Asia are paid for. | {
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2,814 | That's the sound of dozens of students turning themselves in. | {
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2,815 | that's not how i was taught to do the Heimlich | {
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2,816 | Probably my fight in Canada years back. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMROTueJLcw | {
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2,817 | I'm quite sure he'll be here shortly to defend himself. | {
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2,818 | I bet she chickened out. | {
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2,819 | #IJustCan'tWaitToBeKing | {
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2,820 | I guess she wasn't the brightest bulb on the block. She must have been good looking. | {
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2,821 | Thank you! It's crazy because I found out later they where looking for a "Terry Crews" type guy for the Odor Blocker spots. Then somebody said "hey lets just ask him". And they did! I loved the concept and the rest is history! | {
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2,822 | "Describe more... graphically". | {
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2,823 | Call me Kurt Cobain in 94, because my mind is blown\n\nEdit - wow first gold, thank you! | {
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2,824 | My reddit username has never been more relevant than today. | {
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2,825 | No! That's terrible!\n\nEdit: Gold?! Thank you kind stranger! My first gold in a thread about nudes...whew | {
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2,826 | Can you escalate this issue to your supervisor, please? | {
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2,827 | > Im a janitor at a grocery store. I got excited when i saw this picture. I thought it was the massive turd i slayed early today.\n\nThis is a man who enjoys every moment of being alive. Godspeed, noble turd slayer. | {
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2,828 | actually i know the exact thread you're talking about. he was actually talking (30 something male) about his 14yr old neice. they found out who she was by the school logo on her tshirt and reported him to the police and to the school. | {
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2,829 | Israeli good! - Critic #2\n\n | {
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2,830 | can confirm this is french | {
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2,831 | Dude. Theyre STILL making them.\n\nI shit you not. there is one set to come out later this year. | {
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2,832 | My mom cried when I teased her too much about how ugly I was as a baby (crazy ugly). She told me, sniffling, "You were the most perfect baby I ever saw." | {
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2,833 | Draw him lost in Ikea. | {
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2,834 | "Well Jerry, maybe if you called them more often, I wouldn't have to!" | {
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2,835 | That will never happen again. The commit or passenger invited to cockpit | {
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2,836 | http://i.imgur.com/VPwSh.png *damn* | {
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2,837 | http://i.imgur.com/0NaEiwh.gifv | {
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2,838 | This is the most common gripe on Reddit. I propose we change the slogan for Reddit to "Use your fucking turn signals". | {
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2,839 | Sort of [like this?](http://i.imgur.com/Is3x8.jpg) | {
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2,840 | I texted him asking if I could do a very special favor for him if he fixed her car, he called and asked what the favor would be and I said "me on my knees", no questions asked after that. He knew me for years, he knew I wasn't fucking around. | {
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2,841 | Hahahahaa! What?!\n\n*snortgiggle*\n\nI don't want to be eaten. But I guess if I *have* to be? I'd be a bowl of ice cream. I might as well go down in glory in deliciousness. Nobody hates on ice cream! | {
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2,842 | I stand by my previous response. | {
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2,843 | But they are actually in Zimbabwe's currency | {
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2,844 | I love how many people didn't realize this. | {
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2,845 | Felt awesome. So gratifying. | {
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2,846 | Excuse me for eavesdropping; you guys talking about Ranjit? That guy sank a yacht in the ganges while making it rain rupees on some whores. If you see him, tell him Frank and Cholly miss 'im and to give us a call | {
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2,847 | The motto of the Russian winter. | {
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2,848 | If he's so fancy, you already know. | {
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2,849 | You should have head butted your way into her vagina. Then, when you reach the uterus, you will have an air bubble to try and scream for help.\n\nSource: I lived in one of those for 9 months. | {
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2,850 | Seconded. And this goes for pretty much every job in event production and theater.\n\nNobody notices the soundguy until there is feedback or a mic isn't on, the lighting guy until the stage is dark when it shouldnt be, or the riggers until something breaks and someone dies.\n\nThankless jobs that we all love to do. | {
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2,851 | That's a badass quote. | {
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2,852 | Which sucks because statistically they could still kill overall fewer kids than humans, but we'd think humans were better somehow because "we don't -mean- to kill more kids.. a robot can't feel!"\n\nI get the 'robot fears', but having driven in our modern world and seen the types of drivers out there - I can't help but feel we'd all be better off with self-driving cars. | {
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2,853 | Also, there was a cat | {
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2,854 | I had a similar one. I was delivering post as a temp job one summer before uni and I knocked on the door to this flat and a woman answered the door, perfect 10, wearing what was basically a flannel, just jumped out of the shower. She says 'oh, sorry. I thought you were my sister' I reply, 'no problem. I uh, have a package for you' Sadly I was not invited in heh. | {
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2,855 | I agree. Whenever some says that a real man doesn't do that, I say a real man does whatever he wants and doesn't give a shit what you think. | {
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2,856 | The best advice I've gotten was "My uncle left a silver cup full of water overnight, then drank it through his nose. Cured him immediately!" | {
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2,857 | I believe you kid. Your username on Youtube is SwagaNuts. You're clearly still in high school. | {
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2,858 | /u/Finnish_Jager wants [this removed from the internet](http://i.imgur.com/3UTZOhd.png) | {
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2,859 | http://i.imgur.com/d72wKIE.gif | {
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2,860 | "You're just not the type of person we're looking for at the Ministry of Herb. On behalf of Her Royal Dankness, I bid you good toke." | {
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2,861 | Cheers on your good character and professionalism. | {
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2,862 | I imagine them having a thick Scottish accent saying that. | {
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2,863 | Same for me. Unfortunately, the "put a condom on" switch wasn't working that day. | {
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2,864 | Oh, well HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!\n\nWhat do I like to do on my birthday? I like to have a very small family dinner with friends. Family & friends, that's it. And *amazing* food. I'm ALL about the food! | {
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2,865 | Larry King's that young? Who knew? | {
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2,866 | We were not compensated. It was a volunteer position. | {
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2,867 | That's the other point I forgot to put into my comment too. I'm always nervous for the drivers when they do this. I'm thinking "Look at the goddamm road or you're going to hit something!". | {
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2,868 | CERN announced last month with a 95% confidence interval that they'd succeeded in fucking with the Wu Tang, although it will be several years before they think they'll be able to fuck with the Wu Tang at room temperature | {
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2,869 | I'M COMING OVER TO MEET YOUR WIFE AND KIDS. | {
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2,870 | Jesus take the wheel! | {
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2,871 | Maybe jokingly mentioning it is his way of trying to find the key to exit the closet. | {
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2,872 | "Uhhh...nothing?"\n \n \n"Well that doesn't make any fucking sense." | {
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2,873 | Why do you automatically assume that invisible people would be breaking into houses? Are you anti-transparent? | {
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2,874 | >"What am I, a god damned jew?"\n\nThat's how I really see it happening.\n\nEdit: Great, my highest rated comment is a racist remark. Still, no regrets. | {
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2,875 | How come this is the first time I heard of this game? Have I been living under a rock? | {
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2,876 | 3 easy payments of 19.95! | {
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2,877 | HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GROUND! | {
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2,878 | If they are not legitimately towing your car, then that's called stealing your car. | {
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2,879 | "Pavlov's Dogs' Days Are Over" | {
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2,880 | > I have Google Fiber\n\nArrogant little fucking showoff. Fuck you, man. ***FUCK YOU***...\n\nWHY CAN'T I EXPERIENCE GOOGLE FIBER TOO? IS MY STATE NOT GOOD ENOUGH? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH??\n\nAm I just not good enough for you, Google? Why won't you just let me love you, senpai (づ｡◕ ⌒ ◕｡)づ | {
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2,881 | I have a swimming pool and a small cement skatepark, if that's what you mean. My actual house is not filled with quarterpipes and rails, unfortunately. | {
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2,882 | I feel it is completely fair. At a certain point you can't use all the money you make so I feel completely okay with paying more because I earn more. | {
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2,883 | You're allowed to swear on here. | {
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2,884 | PRETTY GREAT, WE HAVE HOCKEY HERE | {
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2,885 | Black people - their knee grows. | {
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2,886 | Haven't you played GTA? There's a limit on how high you can go, then you just bump against an invisible ceiling. | {
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2,887 | Man I would be so flattered if people were using a picture of *my* cock as an attraction.\n\nEdit: I accidentally a word | {
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2,888 | A computer scientist's wife asks him, "would you pick up a loaf of bread at the store, and if they have eggs get a dozen?"\n\nHe gets home, throws 12 loaves of bread on the counter, and says "they had eggs". | {
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2,889 | Boner uses "Harden".\n\nBoner's defense greatly rose! | {
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2,890 | Oh boy, can't wait for gene therapy. | {
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2,891 | This is the internet. You can just lie.\n\nI actually got like 400 nukes. I played on my yacht in Tahiti. | {
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2,892 | You should have put the flat tire back on. | {
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2,893 | So this is the female version of a creepy gonewild comment | {
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2,894 | Until it smells it's good to go. | {
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2,895 | Its going to be ok lil nigga you can do it. | {
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2,896 | Woah. TIL David Copperfield is a redditor. | {
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2,897 | I like the fact you're replying nearly all the q's. You're not such a big dick after all. Pretty cool op | {
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2,898 | I know, I really loved that tattoo and was so proud of it when I can up with the idea when I was a teenager. I really shouldn't have removed it... You know what, I think I might go back to the parlor and have it done again. Thanks reddit!\n\nEdit: added sentence. | {
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2,899 | The vendor replies, "No need to get violent. Do you want the fifty back or something valuable I recently found?"\n\nThe Buddhist replies, "What did you find?"\n\nThe vendor holds up a small peppermint chocolate with a hole in the middle, holds it up to the sun until a small light shines through the hole, and says "A light in mint". | {
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