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2,400 | Bobby pins are a commodity. I'll trade you 40 caps a piece. | {
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2,401 | I thought it was absolute zero fucks given. | {
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2,402 | This is the most well written comment I've ever seen. | {
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2,403 | I agree.\n\nCheers, \n\nPeter Mayhew | {
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2,404 | Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. | {
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2,405 | You're one of those people who go: "And what's the lou-Hihihihi, what's the loudest n-BBBHAAAAAHAHAH, what's the loudest noise in the forest?"\n\n"I don't know, what is it?"\n\n"A giraffe ea-HAHAHAHA, a giraffe PPPPPFFFFTTTTHHHHAAAAHAHAHAHA OH GOD OH GOD, HAHAHAHA I CAN'T BREATHE! A giraffe eating berries! AAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"\n\n"Yeah, real fucking funny, Jack." | {
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2,406 | Neither is his.\n\nSorry, I love you scarra | {
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2,407 | I like it. A new expression has been born. "Rainfall Discussion" - a rational discussion where all the bullshit gets washed away.\n\nEDIT: Damn Thank you SO much for the gold. Twice! | {
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2,408 | >lactose intolerant\n\n>shitload | {
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2,409 | This was a surprisingly common scenario in the dark ages and before. Remember that bears used to be widespread in Europe and one-armed archers were often the last line of defense for the bear-patrol. | {
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2,410 | How far down the line of succession do the Bushes fall? | {
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2,411 | Bound with poo\n\nEdit: this being my highest upvoted comment by a long shot is really a testament to what kind of website reddit is | {
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2,412 | Evan Mathis is my favorite player. He is awesome. | {
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2,413 | So, smack the Christ-child around a bit. You think Jesus got off scot-free for interrupting those teachers in the synagogue? He was 12! He almost definitely got a red bottom when they got home.\n\nHe turned out alright, I think. | {
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2,414 | This is your time, /u/VioletBeauregarde. All this particular knowledge you've collected over the years has culminated in this one moment: this one post. | {
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2,415 | Neither are people when they're drinking. | {
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2,416 | What?!?! Come again? \n\nI'm going to say no, you cannot get out without a wizard's key. | {
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2,417 | One of the poodles running around naked, the parents having tough sex, the sister pooping on the floor, and the other two poodles arguing. | {
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2,418 | Murder is more socially acceptable than cigarettes and nipples. | {
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2,419 | You should check out the sequel series, Malcolm's dad starts another family and begins cooking meth. | {
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2,420 | Yeah, showing the naked human body, which almost everyone on earth has seen before, being shown in a comedic, non sexual manor puts you in the same category as child rapists. Gotta love our judicial system. | {
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2,421 | Well uhm... Male peacocks display their plumage to female peacocks. | {
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2,422 | I pat my pockets and act like I forgot something then turn around | {
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2,423 | +1 for respecting the sanctity of marriage but still knowing how to party hard. | {
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2,424 | Well at least she was happy. That's better than the majority of customers in this thread. | {
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2,425 | In my high school junior year, 11th grade, I became handsome and popular and all these girls started being really nice to me. I was nice back. They got irritated when I treated them all as a friend. | {
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2,426 | If the mom is facing down, and the brother is really good at massaging, it isn't THAT weird. Having said that, the brother has no reason to be topless and I would rather go to a massage place. | {
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2,427 | "Cold weather we're having this February, no? Hey, changing topics - would you mind propping your foot up on my shoulder?" | {
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2,428 | Someone dig up Teddy Roosevelt, it's trust busting time! | {
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2,429 | http://i.giphy.com/UCkNDT0ElzpbW.gif | {
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2,430 | I'm just gonna bake, bake, bake, bake, bake. Bake it all. Bake it all. | {
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2,431 | Maybe that's his secret power, he can make anyone slip on anything, even nothing | {
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2,432 | Alternate Headline: Little Girl Operates Murder Ring\n\n**Edit** Thanks for the gold, my last one expires today\n\n | {
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2,433 | "Did you see Lampard's equaliser against Chelsea?" | {
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2,434 | I seriously hate when someone brake into my house just to smash my toilet. | {
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2,435 | They're suffering in each and every single pic because those are the ones chosen to be uploaded... | {
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2,436 | The practical use it that it lets you reverse when your tranny gives out, and lets your son know you are a boss type wizard. | {
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2,437 | The poutine is out of this world.\n\nEdit: Of course my most upvoted post is about poutine. | {
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2,438 | I used to be scared of my dad because his beard was huge (Cast Away) | {
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2,439 | Don't you understand. She doesn't need any fucking glasses!\n\n\n /s | {
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2,440 | Benadryl cucumber sounds about as plausible as his real name | {
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2,441 | South Korea is best Korea. | {
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2,442 | Totally cool. I would like to respond by thanking you with a friendly exclaimation point! and then I'd like to be really humble and earnest and say I'm just so lucky to have the job. \n\nHey, I have a better idea. Why don't we both just take a long nap? \n\nI haven't had pizza in a long time. And I'm fatter now. | {
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2,443 | My buddy from high school's dad has the best you're fired story evar.\nHe started a company, sold it to some Canadians and was retained as a consultant. \n\nThings kind of went sour and after a heated confrontation, the new bosses told him he was fired and that he needed to clean out his desk.\n\nHis reply?\n\n\n"I own this building, YOU LEAVE!"\n\nThey calmed the fuck down after that and things moved a little more smoothly. | {
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2,444 | Rancid Amputation - Cannibal Corpse | {
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2,445 | I am a shameless person\n\nEdit: Lmao gold on a throwaway thanks man/person I appreciate it, that means a lot. [8] | {
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2,446 | His silence speaks volumes. | {
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2,447 | So you can reap the sweet sweet WTF karma! | {
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2,448 | "Satan took my ball so I chased him." | {
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2,449 | That's why this whole thing is so ridiculous. These people are fucking psycho. This is a *news* station reporting on a news story. Grow up. | {
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2,450 | I guess Ill have to bring in all my 5k gold! I'll be rich! Muhuhahahaha | {
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2,451 | Well as long as it was funny. | {
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2,452 | Why is there cum on your t shirt and over your eyebrow? | {
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2,453 | So wait a minute ... Kirk and Spock agree? | {
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2,454 | Goldfish: the estate that smiles back. | {
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2,455 | Hey, that's offensive to people with autism. | {
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2,456 | Squats\nPower Cleans\nPull ups | {
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2,457 | The amount of people who will never understand this is big! | {
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2,458 | A thick veiny throbbing carrot. | {
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2,459 | Good question - I would say opened, mostly because I go to college, word spreads as it will and whatnot. \n\nI would say there have only been maybe like 5 girls total who have crossed their legs and says "noooope" (*insert Lana voice*). | {
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2,460 | Empire strikes back.\n\nedit:I love how this little pun is now my highest karma comment ever Also Thank you to whoever gilded me | {
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2,461 | I was really excited for this game too. I ended up driving the two hours to get there alone, drinking at a bar alone, sitting at the game alone, and then driving back home after the game alone. It's not the end of the world, but it was a huge bummer. On the bright side, I finally got to visit the University of Phoenix Stadium. That place is crazy huge and crazy awesome! | {
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2,462 | dating a woman with kids is like playing a game from another dude's save file. | {
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2,463 | this is my second time here. I just have to much to do to roam around stuff like this. It seems like a great thing. I just can't do it. I killed my facebook page years ago because time clicking around is just dead time. Your brain isn't resting and it isn't doing. I think people have to get their heads around this thing. All this unmitigated input is hurting folks. My opinion.\n | {
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2,464 | Who the fuck proposes on the third date?!? That's the sex date, everybody knows that! | {
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2,465 | I've been eating exclusively twinkies for the past 5 months and I feel perfe | {
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2,466 | You wash them when they achieve sentience and try to escape. | {
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2,467 | That's some adult shit right there.\n\nHe did you wrong, that's for sure.\n\nBut even though he was definitely in the wrong, you never know what someone's going through. | {
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2,468 | Us engineers aren't exactly... Socially creative. | {
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2,469 | > Oh how the tablets have turned | {
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2,470 | This comment really opened up my eyes to the beautiful word that is diarrhea. Thank you for this. \n\n | {
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2,471 | I feel silly having to explain this but... That's a close up of a man's junk. | {
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2,472 | FUK CONTEXT GRAB THE PITCHFORKS MEN AND WOMEN | {
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2,473 | Wow contractors must be cheap out there. That looks like way more than $50K in damages. | {
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2,474 | My homeboys tried to warn me, but that butt you got makes me so confident of your current well-being and future child-rearing potential | {
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2,475 | Yes, interesting but not my cup of tea. | {
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2,476 | http://i.imgur.com/uMAE0.gif | {
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2,477 | "Must land perfect equalizer" - Doublelift 2015 \nEdit: Thanks for the gold :) | {
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2,478 | Yeah, and due to Earth being more than 10 feet wide, we move much more than 10 feet closer in the course of a day. | {
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2,479 | And with those words, Phreak doomed CLG to relegation. | {
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2,480 | Never saw anyone get so excited for 14 upvotes.\n\nIt's heartwarming. | {
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2,481 | Really? It's hard to believe the shrapnel managed to avoid your gigantic balls. | {
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2,482 | I know. I'm happy all the damn time too. | {
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2,483 | **Evil Plotting Raccoon**\n\n> * I'LL JUST PLANT A LITTLE MESSAGE TO CAPTIONBOT IN THE TITLE OF MY MEME\n\n> * SO WHEN HE PULLS THE TITLE FROM LIVEMEME'S API HE LOOKS LIKE AN IDIOT! \n\n ^^*These* ^^*cations* ^^*aren't* ^^*guaranteed* ^^*to* ^^*be* ^^*correct.* | {
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2,484 | That generally makes it a bit too salty for my taste. | {
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2,485 | Weightlifters are usually pretty genuine in their excitement for others. Everyone's there to get swole, and they are very supportive of that. At least in my experience. | {
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2,486 | The authorities have been notified. (Sneakily) | {
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2,487 | Do you know why Heelys don't have brakes?\n\nCause swag stops for nobody. | {
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2,488 | Or a simple, "it's 5 o'clock, isn't your shift up?" as you casually take his seat. | {
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2,489 | Bonus points if the video is vertical. | {
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2,490 | Intelligence is knowing Frankenstein was not the monster.\n\nWisdom is knowing that Frankenstein truly *was* the monster. | {
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2,491 | That's what boys will tell you. | {
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2,492 | Coleslaw referred to as "spaghetti" and ordered as an app? Confirmed for alien sent to spy on us | {
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2,493 | You're about to get a knock on your door. | {
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2,494 | \n>Stickers\n\n>I would be responsible for the ending of the human race.\n \nI did not see that coming... | {
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2,495 | Yeah. These players know what they're getting into though. It's a wrist they're willing to take. | {
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2,496 | His fight or flight response seems to be broken. | {
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2,497 | Didn't seem to help with 9/11 | {
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2,498 | That just makes him look like a bigger moron, *William Shatner* can't tell arabic from klingon? | {
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} |
2,499 | May the odds be in your favor, bro. | {
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} |
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