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2,100 | Criss Angel is the Guy Fieri of Magic. | {
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2,101 | Omg such a good idea! Just knock out a wall each and build onto each other! Screw permits! | {
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2,102 | Ugh people do this on the Macs at school all the time, sensitivity all the way up or down. I think the admin actually locked those settings because people kept changing the language and shit. | {
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2,103 | That's kind of you to say, but I'm not sure your husband will appreciate knowing that you like /u/clarkie13's dick... | {
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2,104 | Seriously, when I heard of people being hit by crytpowall and crptolocker attacks. | {
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2,105 | i am nicer than you think! | {
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2,106 | i know this - and i'm on a break from weed. | {
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2,107 | ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY | {
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2,108 | You found his decoy porn stash, what he REALLY wants is tentacles. So many tentacles. | {
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2,109 | It's also acceptable to wear jeans with holes all in them. Am I a dirty bum who can't afford jeans without holes? No, it's a fucking fashion statement and I look fabulous. | {
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2,110 | Call Chuck Testa first | {
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2,111 | >Why were you watching Transformers 4?\n\nReal question | {
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2,112 | That's what he wants you to think. The only time the world has been allowed to see the real Michael Cera was in This Is The End. | {
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2,113 | A good Onion headline from a few years ago: "Dozens of murders in Chicago delayed due to snow." | {
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2,114 | I hope I never meet you...you disgust me. | {
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2,115 | OP never said anything about actually putting the pill in the lemonade. | {
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2,116 | His daughter started the fire while she was high when her parents were out shopping in the morning. | {
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2,117 | TIL i've always been high\n\n**EDIT** obligatory thanks for the gold. what the hell did i miss here? | {
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2,118 | Delusion is a powerful state of being. | {
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2,119 | that would be so awkward\n\n"oh you guys survived..." | {
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2,120 | Everyone knows A negatives grow cabbages at their compost yards. | {
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2,121 | I get this reaction too, but usually the whole bus gasps. | {
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2,122 | Hopefully they never spell their name wrong, wait a minute, are you that guy?\n\nEDIT: Thanks for the gold you retarded asshole | {
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2,123 | It'd be really funny when they play kickball at gym. | {
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2,124 | Gary Indiana, a city so bad surrounding areas built a bridge over it, and charge $10 for the privilege to use it. | {
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2,125 | While this is true, it still might sour the relationship with an unprofessional boss. | {
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2,126 | individuals, maybe they would think it's odd after a couple days. But having that translate to a global understanding and acceptance is unfathomable. | {
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2,127 | Roseanne was another show known for this. Their living room full of crap they probably bought at garage sales. | {
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2,128 | Being patient.\n\nI... from about 3 or 4 years in, realized that this was the most special endeavor of my life.\n\nAnd in the last 12 years that we were making it, there have been many ups and downs in my career. And sometimes, when I would have a down period, in the back of my mind, I would never let myself get *too* down, cuz I was working on the best film of my life.\n\nI just had to be patient and wait for people to see it. | {
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2,129 | Is it fin rot? It's fin rot, isn't it? Tell me it's not fin rot! | {
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2,130 | No. Fuck you and that dress. | {
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2,131 | *"Ahhh! Just the way your mother likes it Trebek!"*\n\n\nEdit: Wow thanks mysterious stranger! | {
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2,132 | "This isn't even my dog." | {
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2,133 | Birds wiggle around when they want to escape, notice how chill she is and how she doesn't move her feet around. \n\nAlso they tend to fly away from things they don't like, having owned 6 budgies (That type of bird) that's an exited face. \n\nTO UNSUBSCRIBE TO BIRD FACTS PRESS 5 | {
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2,134 | Cumbox, cum table, cum bottle, now this.\n\nWhy the fuck can't you people jizz into tissues and throw them away like normal people? Fuck. | {
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2,135 | A-sian? Why not A+sian? | {
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2,136 | This is the most normal vargas post out there. | {
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2,137 | Make sure you get a rabies shot or something, those things can carry diseases. | {
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2,138 | You've highlighted the biggest issue here. Soooo many times I saw one of the kitchen staff read a ticket that came through, pause, read it a second time, then throw it across the room and start shouting "WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!? I HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS SHIT!". | {
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2,139 | "Alright everybody good work! Cleanup crew do your thing. Let's bring out another glass desk. Places everybody! here comes another one!" | {
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2,140 | I remember when I was about 14, listening to the radio one day. The DJ came on and said someone had just called in to complain about him talking during the intro of songs because she was trying to tape them and didn't want his voice interfering. So he said he wouldn't do that anymore. The next song went smoothly without incident until the middle of the song-which he promptly broke into and said "Ah Ha! Gotcha! | {
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2,141 | right after taking a shower | {
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2,142 | For some basic examples:\n\nCall of Duty = hitscan (instant connection)\n\nBattlefield = actual bullet physics (connection delayed by movement) | {
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2,143 | RIP Michael Jackson. | {
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2,144 | In a similar vein: the actress that plays Kate Upton's boobs. | {
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2,145 | Ah, like Paris, Texas | {
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2,146 | Now with 0 blades! Keeps your beard thick and full! | {
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2,147 | HOLY SHIT HE'S GONNA STA-nevermind just being sexy | {
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2,148 | > You say that as if you had a choice.\n\nFIFY\n\nEdit: You popped my gold cherry! Thank you for that experience, mysterious stranger! | {
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2,149 | My friend will be happy to hear this... \nThanks! \nedit: [And here's to the magnificent bastard who gilded me](http://media0.giphy.com/media/GCLlQnV7wzKLu/giphy.gif). | {
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2,150 | The rare shower and grower... | {
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2,151 | Finishing with threatening to contact someone higher up then him and wishing him good luck with the rest of his career.\n\nExample of a way too spoiled, self-entitled brat that never had her parents tell her to just shut the fuck up and behave. | {
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2,152 | Yes it is fucking convenient you fucking cunt | {
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2,153 | This is reddit, not 4chan. | {
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2,154 | U-235....VERSUS....U-238! BEGIN! | {
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2,155 | There are two types of people. Those who pee in the shower and dirty fucking liars. \n\n-Louis CK \n\nEdit: I like how most of the replies to this comment are people arguing about the validity of a joke made by a comedian. Oh reddit. | {
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2,156 | Snitches. It's almost always a snitch. Law enforcement likes to pretend it's all their advanced equipment and detective work, but it usually is just a piece of shit person. | {
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2,157 | You should be a mod at /r/relationships | {
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2,158 | Phantom Rectum.... dibs on the band name. | {
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2,159 | "Sensei, it's me Senpai" | {
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2,160 | Calling your partner "Piggly Wiggly" while you're behind them is Mistake #2. | {
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2,161 | Ah, guilt... subtle and insidious, the slow blade that cuts deepest of all. A thinker's weapon.\n\nI myself would shit in her shampoo. | {
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2,162 | Definitely staged. Still pretty funny. | {
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2,163 | "I'm done with reddit for the day, I'll do something else."\n\n*closes tab*\n\n*opens reddit bookmark* | {
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2,164 | Come on, man. Let it go. | {
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2,165 | You never really think about intra-racial racism. | {
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2,166 | I almost cut myself on that edge | {
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2,167 | Besides that??? \n\nOther than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?\n\nThank you :) | {
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2,168 | It's on the 'low end' of survivable [(20–28 °C (68–82 °F) Stage 3, Unconscious, not shivering, Severe Hypothermia)](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypothermia), and in my experience, 72^o is when water starts to feel uncomfortably cold, but is still warm enough that with constant movement you can spend a very long time in it. | {
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2,169 | Links for the lazy \n\n[Record Milk Sales](http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3omljo/)\n\n[Creepywolverine](http://i.imgur.com/A6evm.jpg)\n\n[North By Northwest airplane scene](http://i.imgur.com/rs1Oy.png) | {
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2,170 | http://i.imgur.com/NWIYo.jpg | {
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2,171 | The number of things I learned from that game | {
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2,172 | \nLater on Buzzfeed: You wouldn't believe what Deadmau5 does in his free time!\n\nLater on Facebook: Deadmau5 admits he fucks goats!\n\nLater on Fox: Is goat fucking becoming an epidemic among our youth? | {
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2,173 | You'll change the way you see homelessness forever with this one weird trick. | {
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2,174 | I'm sorry Ms Jackson!\n | {
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2,175 | Ahh the old "Swiss Miss Instant Chocolate"\n\nEdit: Glad I could make a lot of people smile today :) | {
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2,176 | No, you're thinking of regular Jesus. Mega Jesus is bigger, better, badder and man is he pissed. Regular Jesus would forgive you for your sins and trespasses but mega Jesus is out for blood. | {
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2,177 | Free books at the library. Every library's different. Unlimited supply. You'll never be bored again. | {
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2,178 | ...easing the meat in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | {
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2,179 | Embrace failure. Never never quit. Get very comfortable with that uneasy feeling of going against the grain and trying something new. It will constantly take you place you never thought you could go. This has been my mantra for years. I always remember I won't do things right on the first try. So failure is mandatory for success! | {
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2,180 | That's pretty steep. I heard Crystal only charges $12. | {
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2,181 | It's still 20 minutes more than the ones I'm not paying. | {
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2,182 | Unicorn waffles is a pussy? Noooo!!! | {
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2,183 | There is a book called "between shades of grey," and I believe it's about the Holocaust, correct me if I'm wrong.\nEDIT: I suck dick at spelling.\nEDIT 2: It's not about the Holocaust but it's in that time period. | {
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2,184 | It's from Game of Thrones, silly, that's Tyrone Lanistar! | {
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2,185 | hundred duck sized horses! | {
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2,186 | That's fucking retarded. | {
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2,187 | of course he did\n\nin the shower 4 hours later | {
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2,188 | I don't get it either. She says he looks too much like her husband, and then calls him creepy and disgusting. Is it just me, or does she have some feelings to work out? | {
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2,189 | Exactly, as a western society we don't undo our hard work by pandering to this bullshit\n\nEdit: cheers boss | {
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2,190 | >1.You must post the question in your title. Post your own reply in the comments, not in the title if you have one also.\n\n\nOP follows rules of Askreddit!\n\nUpvotes for OP. | {
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2,191 | ...That's called prison... | {
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2,192 | Wow, you're short, are you a jockey?\n\n*sigh* | {
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2,193 | Like a breadcrumb trail of gayness? | {
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2,194 | IT WAS YOU! YOU STOLE MY CROWN! AND I *AM* BRITISH! | {
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2,195 | 93? Jesus, maybe we should all be taking daily uranium supplements. | {
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2,196 | ALL ABOARD THE UPVOTE TRAIN OF JUSTICE!\n\nCHOO CHOO, MOTHERFUCKER | {
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2,197 | She needs quarters for laundry, and this is how you get them without going to the bank. Crystal is a fucking genius. | {
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2,198 | aren't you already invisible to women? | {
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2,199 | Exactly. Both are true. | {
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Subsets and Splits