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"I’m pleased to announce reddit has achieved its goal in becoming one of the top 10 green companies in the world."
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Jokes
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"How do you break up two blind guys fighting?"
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Jokes
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"One day, Albert Einstein was on his way to a science convention for a speech."
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Jokes
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"Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?"
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Jokes
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"As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time""
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Jokes
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"My girlfriend always takes long showers after watching movies starring Chris Pratt"
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Jokes
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"I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open"
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Jokes
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"My wife left me because I am insecure"
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Jokes
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"Pot head gets really high on some good shit and goes home"
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Jokes
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"I wish I could be ugly for one day."
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Jokes
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"My girlfriend just emailed me"
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Jokes
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"TIL that a school of piranhas can strip all the flesh off of a child's body in less than a minute..."
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Jokes
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"I haven't had sex since 1956"
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Jokes
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"My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic"
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Jokes
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"Jeff Bezos: "Alexa, send nudes to my secret admirer.""
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Jokes
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"Husband: I have cheated once"
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Jokes
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"What do you call an emo a capella group?"
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Jokes
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"A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats."
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Jokes
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"I’m American, and I’m sick of people saying America is “the stupidest country in the world.”"
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Jokes
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"Only anti-vaxxers will get this"
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Jokes
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"Yesterday I spotted an albino dalmatian."
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Jokes
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"Dude 1: Hey, bro?"
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Jokes
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"I met a Jewish girl and she asked for my number."
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Jokes
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"I told my gf that i had a crush on beyonce!"
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Jokes
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"What did Charizard say when he saw Pikachu"
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Jokes
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"A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy."
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Jokes
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"A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out."
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Jokes
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"A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there."
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Jokes
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"As a responsible employer, All my staff are in a 2 week quarantine."
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Jokes
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"A father buys a lie detector that slaps people when they lie. He decided to test it out at dinner one night."
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Jokes
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"Afternoon Sex"
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Jokes
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"A man heard that masturbating before sex..."
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Jokes
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"What sort of grades did Tommy Wiseau receive in school?"
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Jokes
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"A guy goes to Las Vegas to gamble And he loses all his money. He doesn't even have enough for a cab, but he flagged one down anyway. He explained to the driver that he would pay him back next time and gave him his phone number, but the driver told him, "Get the fuck out of my cab.""
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Jokes
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"At birth, success is being alive. At age 3, success is not pooping your pants. At age 10, success is having friends. At age 16, success is having a driver's license. At age 20, success is having sex. At age 30, success is having money..."
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Jokes
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"“Doc, I think my son has gonorrhea,” a patient told his urologist on the phone. “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.”"
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Jokes
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"What’s the difference between a computer and an American?"
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Jokes
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"I was applying for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked, “Do you have a criminal record?”"
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Jokes
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"When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever had sex. "Tarzan not know sex." he replied."
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Jokes
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"An old man is selling watermelons..."
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Jokes
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"Funny that when a guy sleeps with tons of girls, he's a stud.."
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Jokes
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"How do you grab the attention of a pervert?"
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Jokes
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"Do you know how to avoid clickbait?"
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Jokes
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"How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb?"
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Jokes
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"Q : With Britain leaving EU soon, how much space will be freed up?"
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Jokes
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"A white scientist is studying a tribe in Africa"
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Jokes
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"If this year has taught us anything, it’s that Donald Trump is a regular American citizen"
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Jokes
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"Why do the election results take so long?"
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Jokes
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"Girl: "Come over""
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Jokes
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"Top Reddit posters should use their karma to help the environment."
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Jokes
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"A woman asked a General in the army the last time he made love to a woman..."
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Jokes
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"What do you call a waffle on a California beach?"
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Jokes
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"I like my reddit posts the same way I like my boyfriend's pants"
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Jokes
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"An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day, when the daughter said, "My hands are freezing cold!" The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up.""
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Jokes
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"My penis is like Joe Biden."
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Jokes
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"Two Thai girls asked me if I wanted to sleep with them."
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Jokes
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"Where do little jokes come from?"
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Jokes
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"Which one doesn't belong: eggs, your wife, or a blow job?"
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Jokes
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"If I got $1 every time a woman said I was't her type"
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Jokes
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"People say smoking will give you diseases."
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Jokes
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"The boss of a mining company is trying to decide which of his 3 sons to promote so he gives them a test."
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Jokes
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"My late Grandfathers favorite joke"
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Jokes
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"As I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall. Confused , I stared up at him and he sneered back."
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Jokes
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"A naked man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back."
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Jokes
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"Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies,"
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Jokes
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"If I had a nickel for every time I didn’t know what was going on..."
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Jokes
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"My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3years, when we separated, she returned exactly $100."
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Jokes
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"If I had a dollar for every downvote EA"s comment gets...."
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Jokes
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"At the parole hearing, the officer asked, "Tell me, why should you be released early?" The inmate responded, "It’s bec...""
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Jokes
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"Astronaut 1: "I can't find any milk for my coffee""
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Jokes
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"A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?""
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Jokes
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"New Teslas don't come with a new car smell"
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Jokes
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"To the hacker who hacked into my reddit account, I will find you."
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Jokes
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"A man at my wife’s workplace has been sexually harassing her, but honestly I feel like it’s her fault."
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Jokes
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"I like my coffee how I like my slaves..."
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Jokes
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"The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife..."
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Jokes
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"“I can’t believe that you’ve been visiting prostitutes for sex,” my wife screamed at me. “I’m really disappointed.”"
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Jokes
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"Cheating Wives"
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Jokes
|
"A child asks his father what "gay" means"
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Jokes
|
"Communism jokes are not funny"
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Jokes
|
"White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do."
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Jokes
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"A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house."
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Jokes
|
"My attractive female neighbor is completely paranoid."
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Jokes
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"(NSFW) A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital. He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses. "Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest."
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Jokes
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"There's a little-known legend about Attila the Hun..."
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Jokes
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"Someone broke into my house and stole 20% of my couch"
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Jokes
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"What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?"
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Jokes
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"Not for the easily offended - my favourite politically incorrect joke..."
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Jokes
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"A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work"
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Jokes
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"My friends laughed at me when I told them I had a hot date and they said she was imaginary..."
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Jokes
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"Why do police get to protests early?"
|
Jokes
|
"I'm giving up masturbating for an entire month."
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Jokes
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"Having homosexual parents must be terrible"
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Jokes
|
"If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?"
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Jokes
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"Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why."
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Jokes
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"My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion."
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Jokes
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"A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories."
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Jokes
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"A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan."
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Jokes
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"My girlfriend yelled at me today saying, "You weren't even listening just now, were you?!""
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Jokes
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"A little girl asks her father: "Daddy, what is corruption?""
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Jokes
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