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"Can we ban "Yo Momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, stupid, and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times"
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Jokes
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"My BDSM community took me to court for not being hardcore enough. I got off with just a slap on the wrist."
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Jokes
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"Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts"
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Jokes
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"To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner."
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Jokes
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"Professor X asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?""
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Jokes
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"My girlfriend always takes long baths after we finish watching a Ryan gosling movie"
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Jokes
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"A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me?"
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Jokes
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"If you say AT&T backwards"
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Jokes
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"So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Now take off my bra and panties." and so I took them off."
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"I called two girls hipsters and got slapped."
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Jokes
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"I asked my mum "How much is a couple?""
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Jokes
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"People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain."
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Jokes
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"Donald is walking out of the White House and headed towards his limo..."
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Jokes
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"I wasn’t allowed in a fraternity in college because I was circumcised."
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Jokes
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"A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts."
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Jokes
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"I told my boyfriend we could watch a porn for his birthday and do everything that we saw in the video..."
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Jokes
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"A good (and very old) joke to explain why people are stocking up on necessities"
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Jokes
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"A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.""
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Jokes
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"I just saw my Chinese waiter give my order to someone who looks nothing like me. I get it now."
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Jokes
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"My housemates are convinced our house is haunted"
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Jokes
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"I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask waaaay too many personal questions"
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Jokes
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"Damn girl are you a piñata?"
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Jokes
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"A big city doctor visits an Native American tribe full of men and he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?""
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Jokes
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"A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her."
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Jokes
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"Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”"
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Jokes
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"I am getting so sick of millennials and their attitude."
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Jokes
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"Dude explaining how he made his first $10 million:"
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Jokes
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"A little girl asks her mother, “Mommy, how was I born?”"
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Jokes
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"Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant !"
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Jokes
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"I take Viagra for my sun burn..."
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Jokes
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"The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup..."
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Jokes
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"The Only Thing Flat-Earthers Fear....."
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Jokes
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"A young Arab boy asks his father “What is that strange hat you are wearing?”"
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Jokes
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"I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 1080p and above."
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Jokes
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"The Pope and Donald Trump are standing in front of a large crowd."
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Jokes
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"What do you call a stolen Tesla?"
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Jokes
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"Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers?"
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Jokes
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"What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car?"
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Jokes
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"The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president."
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Jokes
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"What’s the difference between North Korea and the US?"
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Jokes
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"A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition. On the way back the wife, very worried, asks: "So, honey? How's my mom doing?""
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Jokes
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"The Bible says being gay is fine, as long as you're high."
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Jokes
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"When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever had sex. "Tarzan not know sex." he replied."
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Jokes
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"I had sex with my kid's teacher. I have to tell my wife..."
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Jokes
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"I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother."
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Jokes
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"When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it."
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Jokes
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"Do you know how to avoid clickbait?"
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Jokes
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"A robber pulled a gun on the bank clerk and manager saying, “Give me all the money! I need it to set myself up in a trade or profession. You know, initial investment is needed to cover the overheads until my cash flow is established.”"
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Jokes
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"I just discovered that the word "nothing" is a palindrome..."
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Jokes
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"My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer"
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Jokes
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"Do all black people have a problem with slavery ?"
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Jokes
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"I applied to be a sperm donor and the nurse asked if I could masturbate in the cup..."
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Jokes
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"The maid asked her boss, the wife for a raise, and the wife was upset."
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Jokes
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"A guy sits down in a diner and asks for a bowl of hot chili..."
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Jokes
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"My wife said if this post gets 1000 upvotes she'll give up her anal virginity tonight!"
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Jokes
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"A little girl says to her mother: "Mummy, when you were away at the weekend a strange lady came around""
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Jokes
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"Your mom is so fat"
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Jokes
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"A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath."
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Jokes
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"As a child, I always thought of my dad as a superhero"
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Jokes
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"Why didn't 4 ask out 5"
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Jokes
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"Today I was invited by a female janitor to smoke some weed at her apartment, but i politley declined."
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Jokes
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"I went to the pet shop and the owner said he had a talking centipede for sale."
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Jokes
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"I'm assuming that none of the Jenners ask Kylie to make breakfast."
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Jokes
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"North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media"
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Jokes
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"I swiped right on a girl without a picture, and we matched."
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Jokes
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"Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?"
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Jokes
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"Masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy. It releases dopamine and reduces stress. Improves prostate gland and cardiovascular health."
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Jokes
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"Why is Spider-Man so good at comebacks?"
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Jokes
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"A husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?""
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Jokes
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"A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon...."
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Jokes
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"TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once."
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Jokes
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"If you masturbate after smoking marijuana...."
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Jokes
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"I finally got someone to be my valentine!"
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Jokes
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"One Christmas morning, a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light and next to him is a little girl on her brand-new bike."
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Jokes
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"Two rednecks flew to Canada on a hunting trip."
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Jokes
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"Son: "Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl.""
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Jokes
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"Why was my post removed"
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Jokes
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"The first female president"
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Jokes
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"A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem"
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Jokes
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"A husband notices his wife’s hearing is deteriorating and decides to visit her doctor for advice."
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Jokes
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"A man is being released from a US hospital."
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Jokes
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"I asked my wife to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy birthday fun."
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Jokes
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"My wife left me because I am insecure"
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Jokes
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"Give a Man a Fish and You Will Feed Him for a Day."
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Jokes
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"What did Master Yoda say when he first saw himself in 4k?"
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Jokes
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""Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?""
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Jokes
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"I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”."
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Jokes
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"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it..."
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Jokes
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"If a girl says she will be ready in 5 minutes she will."
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Jokes
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"A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy."
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Jokes
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"A homeless guy asked me for money today"
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Jokes
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"A man goes to the doctor for a physical. He tells the doctor not to be alarmed, but he has 5 penises."
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Jokes
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"My sister came up with this. What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it"
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Jokes
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"A pirate goes to the doctor and say, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh.""
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Jokes
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"A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home."
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Jokes
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"My girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair"
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Jokes
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"If Trump really wanted Hillary to be locked up..."
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Jokes
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"My wife asked me which of her friends I would like to have a threesome with."
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Jokes
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"A French, a German and an Italian spy are captured one day."
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Jokes
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"My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being too good in bed..."
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Jokes
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